The Joe Rogan Experience - JRE MMA Show #95 with Brendan Schaub

00:00:00.000 Fight Week.

00:00:04.000 It's here.

00:00:06.000 Dude.

00:00:07.000 It's here.

00:00:07.000 We're just a couple days away.

00:00:08.000 Here we are, Thursday, we got Friday, and then Saturday's fights, and I gotta go.

00:00:12.000 I'm gonna be in Jacksonville, Florida.

00:00:14.000 I'm gonna be doing commentary in an empty arena.

00:00:17.000 No one's gonna be near me.

00:00:18.000 Everybody has to be really far away from each other.

00:00:21.000 We're gonna be on separate corners of the octagon, which fucking sucks.

00:00:24.000 You, DC, and Anik.

00:00:26.000 And Anik.

00:00:26.000 Because when things go crazy, DC and I always grab each other.

00:00:29.000 I know.

00:00:30.000 We're like, ah!

00:00:31.000 You guys vibe off of each other.

00:00:32.000 Can't do that.

00:00:33.000 Everybody's a pussy.

00:00:34.000 But we're all tested.

00:00:35.000 That's what doesn't make any sense.

00:00:36.000 That's what I'm saying.

00:00:36.000 If you all agree, we'll risk it, man.

00:00:38.000 We're all healthy.

00:00:39.000 We're all fine.

00:00:40.000 Well, not only are we all healthy and fine, we're tested.

00:00:43.000 We're clean.

00:00:43.000 We don't have it.

00:00:45.000 We don't have to be far apart from each other.

00:00:47.000 I got tested yesterday.

00:00:49.000 I got the results back from my nose swab.

00:00:51.000 That's negative.

00:00:52.000 And then two days before that, I took an antibody test.

00:00:55.000 That's negative, too.

00:00:56.000 I'm 100% negative.

00:00:57.000 So whose idea is this?

00:01:00.000 It's fucking the state.

00:01:01.000 The state just has real rigid guidelines, apparently.

00:01:03.000 They just want to make sure that everybody's safe.

00:01:05.000 Cam Haynes wanted to come with me.

00:01:07.000 He couldn't come.

00:01:08.000 He can't have anybody else.

00:01:09.000 Do you know what Cam would do to COVID? It doesn't have a chance.

00:01:14.000 Not a chance.

00:01:15.000 Someone with that kind of cardio?

00:01:16.000 God, come on, man.

00:01:18.000 Listen, I had Elon on the podcast yesterday, and we talked about what the actual death rate is versus what everyone thought it was going to be.

00:01:26.000 Is he good at reading stats?

00:01:27.000 I don't know.

00:01:28.000 He said it's a magnitude of 10 to 50 times less deadly than they thought it was going to be.

00:01:36.000 It's pretty big.

00:01:37.000 That's huge.

00:01:38.000 Especially when they start getting to things like...

00:01:40.000 I don't know if you've seen the...

00:01:41.000 There's a prison where they tested these prisoners and 98% of them had it and...

00:01:47.000 Had no idea.

00:01:48.000 Asymptomatic.

00:01:49.000 Yep.

00:01:49.000 Everybody was fine.

00:01:50.000 Yeah, they're finding that in a lot of places.

00:01:52.000 A lot of people are asymptomatic.

00:01:54.000 And Elon goes hard in the paint, too.

00:01:56.000 Yeah, he goes hard in the paint.

00:01:57.000 Which I love.

00:01:58.000 I'm a huge fan.

00:01:59.000 He said yesterday, if you got bit by a shark and died and you had COVID, they would count it as a COVID death.

00:02:03.000 Yeah, 100%.

00:02:04.000 I mean, he's probably making a joke.

00:02:06.000 He is, but he's not.

00:02:07.000 Yeah, but he's not.

00:02:08.000 Yeah.

00:02:09.000 Yeah, he's not.

00:02:09.000 Yeah.

00:02:10.000 It's so ridiculous, man.

00:02:14.000 Did we find out whether or not that's true about the heart attacks, the heart disease?

00:02:17.000 Because someone else brought it up to me today.

00:02:19.000 Someone else who's a pretty smart person in New York.

00:02:22.000 I looked.

00:02:23.000 I couldn't even find the numbers.

00:02:24.000 So I don't know where they got those numbers.

00:02:27.000 See if there's an article.

00:02:28.000 I looked hard.

00:02:29.000 I looked hard.

00:02:30.000 Is the podcast out?

00:02:31.000 I looked hard.

00:02:32.000 Sorry.

00:02:33.000 Is the podcast out?

00:02:33.000 Yeah.

00:02:34.000 Yeah, it's out.

00:02:34.000 Does he mention how...

00:02:36.000 Isn't it weird that the death rate went down once the flu season's over?

00:02:40.000 Did he talk about that?

00:02:41.000 How they're counting flu as COVID too?

00:02:43.000 Yeah, that was the thing.

00:02:45.000 If you have flu and COVID, they count it as COVID. Yeah.

00:02:48.000 And then the flu, you know, look, COVID's not good, but it's not what we were worried about.

00:02:55.000 It's not what we thought it was going to be.

00:02:56.000 It shouldn't have shut down the economy.

00:02:57.000 No.

00:02:58.000 I don't think so.

00:02:59.000 I think shutting it down for a couple weeks is not a bad idea to get a sense of it, but once the numbers are back, I mean, I think right now it needs to restart.

00:03:06.000 People need to be precautious.

00:03:07.000 They need to follow social distancing guidelines, wear masks if possible, especially until we get it all wrapped up and figure out what it is in terms of what the treatment...

00:03:17.000 What is that stuff called again?

00:03:19.000 Remdesivir?

00:03:20.000 Remdesivir.

00:03:21.000 Remdesivir, this new antiviral treatment that they say is...

00:03:25.000 Supposed to work?

00:03:26.000 Working really well with it.

00:03:27.000 I think you have underlying health conditions and you're over 60, put on a mask.

00:03:31.000 If you don't, it should be up to me if I want to wear it.

00:03:33.000 Did you know that the average age of COVID death users or people who get COVID and die is higher than the average age of death?

00:03:43.000 That's nuts.

00:03:45.000 That's nuts.

00:03:46.000 I'm so glad Elon came on.

00:03:47.000 Isn't that a crazy number?

00:03:49.000 He just dropped some fucking knowledge.

00:03:50.000 That's a crazy number.

00:03:51.000 That's crazy.

00:03:52.000 And there's this weird, like, toxic culture who wants it to be bad.

00:03:57.000 So when Elon spits these facts, I'm sure your podcast comes out, people are like, no, and they start throwing other facts.

00:04:02.000 Like, no, dude, these are the stats.

00:04:04.000 It's tough to argue with these hard, cold facts, man.

00:04:08.000 Well, Elon's not a doctor.

00:04:10.000 Again, save it, dude.

00:04:11.000 We're looking at stats.

00:04:13.000 I think he can read stats.

00:04:14.000 The dude's going to get us to Mars.

00:04:16.000 He can build a fucking planet, you know?

00:04:18.000 I think we're going to be alright.

00:04:19.000 He can read those.

00:04:20.000 I'm going to listen to that guy.

00:04:21.000 Yeah, it's not what we thought it was going to be.

00:04:23.000 That's what it is.

00:04:24.000 Everybody was scared two months ago.

00:04:26.000 Everybody was like, holy shit, the plague's coming.

00:04:28.000 And it's not that.

00:04:29.000 It's not that.

00:04:30.000 We got lucky.

00:04:30.000 It's a bad cold.

00:04:31.000 It's really bad.

00:04:32.000 Kills some people.

00:04:33.000 It fucks people up with respiratory disease.

00:04:36.000 It's really bad for people that are obese.

00:04:38.000 It's really bad for old people.

00:04:39.000 Everything's bad for old people and obese people, though.

00:04:42.000 Everything's bad, man.

00:04:43.000 That's reality.

00:04:44.000 That's reality.

00:04:44.000 Get in shape, man.

00:04:45.000 God damn it.

00:04:46.000 Say it.

00:04:47.000 Preach.

00:04:47.000 Get the fucking shape.

00:04:48.000 Join the Thick Boys Bike Club, man.

00:04:50.000 Get your fat ass in there.

00:04:51.000 Bro, how many fucking rattlesnakes are in your neighborhood?

00:04:54.000 Every day you're sending me a video of a new rattlesnake.

00:04:57.000 That's ridiculous.

00:04:58.000 Yeah.

00:04:58.000 And that's like that dirt Mulholland Road and the Topanga Canyon.

00:05:03.000 Like, that's those dirt roads.

00:05:04.000 And they're everywhere.

00:05:06.000 Do they go on the road in the sun?

00:05:07.000 They go on the road in the sun.

00:05:09.000 And now I'm just, I don't know, accustomed to it.

00:05:12.000 I used to be so scared to buy it in the morning.

00:05:13.000 I'm like...

00:05:14.000 God, here we go.

00:05:15.000 I'd be so scared.

00:05:16.000 But now, it's like they're not going to bother me.

00:05:18.000 I mean, if I step on one, it's going to be trouble.

00:05:21.000 But I'd still rather get COVID than get bit by a rattlesnake.

00:05:25.000 I'll tell you that right now.

00:05:26.000 100%.

00:05:27.000 100%.

00:05:28.000 But they look like these big logs.

00:05:30.000 That Mike Posner guy, he got bit by a rattlesnake.

00:05:33.000 He got bit by one.

00:05:33.000 He was fucked up, right?

00:05:34.000 It was a baby one.

00:05:35.000 Yeah.

00:05:35.000 So they had stronger venom, I guess?

00:05:37.000 No, that's a myth, apparently.

00:05:39.000 Yeah, apparently.

00:05:40.000 All right, well.

00:05:41.000 They all suck.

00:05:42.000 It didn't look like it was fun.

00:05:43.000 Did you see the one I seen today?

00:05:44.000 How about that bad boy?

00:05:45.000 He was a little aggressive, too.

00:05:46.000 A little big.

00:05:47.000 He was a little aggressive.

00:05:48.000 And then he started heading my way.

00:05:49.000 Oh, dude, come on.

00:05:50.000 So I'm trying to make noise.

00:05:51.000 I'm like, come on, dude.

00:05:51.000 Go that way, man.

00:05:53.000 Every morning I see him.

00:05:54.000 Every morning.

00:05:56.000 Do you know their venom?

00:05:57.000 Apparently it's like it digests the animal.

00:06:01.000 So like if they kill a rabbit with their venom, it actually helps digest the rabbit.

00:06:05.000 It breaks down the tissue.

00:06:07.000 So when people get bit by it, it makes your skin rot.

00:06:10.000 It makes your meat rot.

00:06:11.000 So if it was going to swallow you, it allows it to digest you easier.

00:06:17.000 I think my big ass would be okay.

00:06:19.000 I think I'd be alright.

00:06:20.000 It's gonna be such a nightmare.

00:06:22.000 You can get fucked up, man.

00:06:22.000 You can get fucked up by Rattlesnake Venom.

00:06:24.000 Such a nightmare.

00:06:25.000 I watched this horrible fucking website where they had a series of photographs of this guy that got bit on the arm and they had to med vac him out of there and they had to do a bunch of procedures and skin grafts and all kinds of shit and his arm was fucked up.

00:06:38.000 It was like it rotted a hole through his arm.

00:06:40.000 Did you watch that thing I sent you about Alex Smith, that quarterback?

00:06:43.000 Did you see it?

00:06:44.000 I started watching.

00:06:45.000 I couldn't.

00:06:46.000 It was gross.

00:06:46.000 It's insane.

00:06:48.000 He got some flesh-eating bacteria in his leg, a compound fracture when he was playing for the Redskins.

00:06:53.000 He had to take muscle from his left leg and put it in the right leg.

00:06:56.000 It's just a nightmare.

00:06:57.000 I probably would have amputated it.

00:06:59.000 What?

00:07:00.000 He's still under contract.

00:07:01.000 He's going to try to plague him, but I mean, I don't know if that's going to happen.

00:07:05.000 It was so bad where they're like, you're not going to have motion in your foot.

00:07:09.000 And when we see these kind of injuries, it's usually soldiers from stepping on IEDs or whatever.

00:07:16.000 So most of the time they just amputate it because your leg's never going to be the same.

00:07:19.000 Otherwise, you're looking at an 18-month, you know, you're in this cast with braces and screws into the muscle and the bone.

00:07:25.000 You're looking at that long layover.

00:07:26.000 And even after that, you're probably not going to have motion in your foot.

00:07:28.000 I'm like, dude, just take it off.

00:07:29.000 Give me that fucking cool RoboCop carbon fiber one.

00:07:32.000 Toss some specialized stickers on that bitch.

00:07:34.000 Get sponsored.

00:07:36.000 But the thing is, they're changing, like every year, they're changing what they can and can't do in terms of like biologicals, like stem cells and different treatments they come up with.

00:07:47.000 You know, they can fix ACLs now without using anything other than your ACL. Oh, damn.

00:07:53.000 Yeah, Dr. Roddy McGee was showing me these videos of this guy who they did it to and then he went into the Olympics four months after surgery.

00:08:00.000 That's pretty gangster.

00:08:01.000 It's crazy.

00:08:02.000 They're blowing out their ACLs, right?

00:08:03.000 The ACL snaps.

00:08:04.000 Which was game over back in the day.

00:08:06.000 Yeah, well, it used to be they had to replace it either with a patella tendon graft, hamstring graft, or a cadaver.

00:08:11.000 Or a cadaver, yeah.

00:08:12.000 I've had a patella tendon graft on the left and a cadaver on my right.

00:08:15.000 But this thing, now they're taking the actual ACL that exists and they have some new way of suturing it and they squirt some stem cells up in there and it heals up.

00:08:24.000 And you're good to go.

00:08:25.000 Yeah, it heals up.

00:08:26.000 Jesus Christ.

00:08:27.000 Yeah, it's pretty crazy.

00:08:28.000 So my thought is that they're always coming up with new ways to fix things.

00:08:32.000 So don't cut your leg off.

00:08:33.000 Don't cut your leg off just for stickers.

00:08:36.000 Just to get a sponsor?

00:08:37.000 No, my thing is, is robotics are coming along too, so you might become some badass with this robot leg.

00:08:43.000 My worry is one day, artificial leg's going to be so good, people are going to get their good legs removed so they can get an artificial leg.

00:08:49.000 Makes sense.

00:08:50.000 It's going to happen.

00:08:50.000 Yeah.

00:08:50.000 It's going to feel like a regular leg.

00:08:52.000 And you just run forever.

00:08:54.000 It's like an e-bike.

00:08:55.000 Jump over buildings and shit.

00:08:56.000 Be sick.

00:08:57.000 It's going to be wild.

00:08:57.000 You become a superhero.

00:08:58.000 Yeah.

00:08:59.000 Six million dollar man.

00:08:59.000 Remember that shit?

00:09:00.000 Yeah.

00:09:00.000 Except it's going to be way more than six million bucks.

00:09:03.000 A lot more.

00:09:03.000 But Alex Smith can afford it.

00:09:05.000 That's what's going to happen in the future, probably.

00:09:07.000 Yeah, don't cut the leg off.

00:09:08.000 Don't listen to me, Alex.

00:09:09.000 If you're listening to this, don't get your leg off.

00:09:11.000 Have you watched the Countdown show for this weekend's event?

00:09:14.000 I watched it.

00:09:15.000 Did you see the trailer that I posted?

00:09:17.000 No, I did not.

00:09:18.000 What did you post?

00:09:19.000 I got emotional watching it.

00:09:21.000 Well, Dana posted it, and someone sent it to me.

00:09:25.000 I'm like, oh shit, I go to post it.

00:09:27.000 Dana has me blocked, so I can't click on his profile and see it.

00:09:30.000 I'm like, what the fuck?

00:09:31.000 What the fuck, man?

00:09:32.000 Yeah, I'm like, we're blocking people now?

00:09:35.000 We're throwing spinach shit?

00:09:36.000 When did he block you?

00:09:37.000 I don't know.

00:09:38.000 Probably when we got into that whole scuffle on Instagram.

00:09:40.000 But that was his doing, not mine.

00:09:42.000 How long ago was that?

00:09:43.000 At least two years ago.

00:09:44.000 That's his doing, not mine.

00:09:45.000 I tried so hard to mend that bridge.

00:09:48.000 I've had so many sit-downs.

00:09:51.000 I don't get the hate, man.

00:09:53.000 I don't get it.

00:09:54.000 But I love both of you, so it's a problem.

00:09:56.000 You know, it's like, I don't get it.

00:09:57.000 But it's so strange, like, when you look at a list of people, like, who's a bigger advocate for the UFC? Nobody.

00:10:03.000 Nobody but you.

00:10:03.000 I mean, you?

00:10:04.000 Yeah.

00:10:05.000 And you work for them.

00:10:05.000 Yeah.

00:10:06.000 I don't receive a dime off of them.

00:10:07.000 I know, yeah.

00:10:08.000 But I shot from the rooftop.

00:10:10.000 Well, you know, some people, they fucking dig their heels in.

00:10:14.000 Yeah, he's like Michael Jordan.

00:10:16.000 He just doesn't let anything go.

00:10:17.000 Oh, is this the thing that talks about, I did see this.

00:10:19.000 Dude.

00:10:20.000 Yeah, it's great.

00:10:21.000 Dude.

00:10:21.000 Might be the best promo they've ever made.

00:10:23.000 It's very good.

00:10:24.000 The Countdown show begins with this.

00:10:27.000 It's so good.

00:10:28.000 It makes me so proud to be part of the UFC. The Countdown show is so good, man.

00:10:33.000 The Countdown show is so good.

00:10:34.000 And you see Justin.

00:10:35.000 First of all, Justin.

00:10:36.000 How hilarious is Justin Gaethje?

00:10:38.000 He goes, I hope he breaks my nose so I can get it fixed.

00:10:40.000 Crazy.

00:10:41.000 Because you hear him talk.

00:10:42.000 He's talking, he's talking like this.

00:10:43.000 You know his nose is useless.

00:10:45.000 His nose is useless.

00:10:46.000 It's smashed.

00:10:47.000 I mean, his style is so face forward.

00:10:49.000 He's such a brawler in a good way.

00:10:52.000 I think, yeah, don't call him a brawler.

00:10:54.000 I've learned the hard way.

00:10:55.000 Look, I'm a giant fan of that guy.

00:10:57.000 Me too.

00:10:57.000 I'm a fan of his personality, his mindset, the way he approaches fights.

00:11:03.000 His attitude, yeah.

00:11:03.000 He's here.

00:11:04.000 He's kill or be killed.

00:11:06.000 Legit.

00:11:07.000 I think this is actually a tougher fight for Tony Ferguson than the Khabib fight.

00:11:11.000 It's a scary fight for anybody.

00:11:13.000 If you're locked in the cage with Justin Gaethje, it is war.

00:11:17.000 It's a different fight.

00:11:18.000 It's like Tony Ferguson was getting ready to go deep scuba diving, deep sea scuba diving, and we know you can go in the deep waters, but we know what to expect.

00:11:26.000 It's going to be a bitch, dude, but you know what to expect.

00:11:29.000 With Gaethje, it's like, you're not scuba diving anymore.

00:11:31.000 You're snorkeling, and you're in hurricane waters, and you gotta get past the initial part, and it's a motherfucker.

00:11:36.000 But if you get past that, you can be alright.

00:11:38.000 But good luck, man.

00:11:39.000 Because these waves are fucking common, dude.

00:11:41.000 Yeah, he's a different kind of guy because he's so reckless.

00:11:46.000 He takes big chances.

00:11:49.000 He doesn't play it safe at all.

00:11:51.000 And the other thing is, you know, Tony gets hit.

00:11:54.000 Yeah.

00:11:55.000 Yeah.

00:11:55.000 He'll stand in front of you.

00:11:56.000 The Venata fight.

00:11:57.000 You look at the Pettis fight.

00:11:59.000 The Johnson fight.

00:12:00.000 The Venata fight is a really good example of that.

00:12:03.000 But I think the Lando-Venata fight, first of all, he took it on short notice.

00:12:06.000 And second of all...

00:12:07.000 Awkward.

00:12:08.000 Lando's...

00:12:08.000 Nobody knew.

00:12:09.000 Lando's good, man.

00:12:10.000 He's good and he's very awkward.

00:12:12.000 Yeah, he's very awkward.

00:12:13.000 But Tony gets hit early on in every fight.

00:12:16.000 He'll get hit.

00:12:17.000 He wants to play that game.

00:12:18.000 The Anthony Pettis one, he got wobbled.

00:12:20.000 With Gaethje, he can't really play that game.

00:12:22.000 He cracks, dude.

00:12:23.000 At 55, he cracks.

00:12:25.000 He doesn't just crack.

00:12:26.000 There's no space.

00:12:27.000 He doesn't give you any space.

00:12:28.000 He jumps all over you.

00:12:29.000 If he gets you hurt, he'll throw himself right into the fire.

00:12:33.000 It's like he's not worried about losing.

00:12:35.000 And that's real.

00:12:36.000 People say that sometimes, but I don't think they really mean it.

00:12:39.000 That's a gift.

00:12:40.000 He really means it.

00:12:41.000 That's a gift.

00:12:42.000 It's a real gift for him.

00:12:43.000 Yeah, he's got a very unusual mindset.

00:12:45.000 I don't think Tony has either, though.

00:12:47.000 That's what makes this fight so fascinating.

00:12:48.000 That's why I think I love Khabib and I want Khabib Tony, but this fight to me is more entertaining.

00:12:55.000 I think so, too.

00:12:56.000 I think so, too.

00:12:57.000 Which is weird to say.

00:12:59.000 No, I think Gaethje's more entertaining than anybody.

00:13:02.000 He's so fucking wild.

00:13:04.000 And then Tony's more entertaining than anybody too.

00:13:07.000 Everybody who fights Tony looks like they fell off a train.

00:13:10.000 Everybody.

00:13:11.000 Look at the Cowboy's face was a fucking mess.

00:13:14.000 Everyone's a mess.

00:13:14.000 Pettis is covered in blood.

00:13:16.000 Everybody gets fucked up.

00:13:17.000 There's a photograph that shows the list of the last nine or ten people that Tony's fought.

00:13:23.000 Everyone looks like they got shot in the face.

00:13:26.000 They all look like Ted Bundy victims?

00:13:28.000 Crazy!

00:13:28.000 It's nuts.

00:13:29.000 Yeah, look at that.

00:13:30.000 Look at those people.

00:13:31.000 Everyone's face is just a fucking holy wreck.

00:13:34.000 Everybody looks dead.

00:13:35.000 And the cardio.

00:13:37.000 The Tony Ferguson cardio.

00:13:38.000 That's why you got to get past that first initial wave of Justin Gaethje.

00:13:42.000 But after then, Tony doesn't get tired.

00:13:44.000 Never.

00:13:45.000 Never gets tired.

00:13:46.000 His cardio is off the charts.

00:13:48.000 I wonder if anybody's going to shoot.

00:13:50.000 Because they're both such phenomenal wrestlers.

00:13:52.000 People forget how good Tony is at wrestling.

00:13:54.000 Gaethje never shoots.

00:13:54.000 He's got zero takedowns in the UFC. Zero.

00:13:57.000 Zero takedown attempts.

00:13:58.000 Zero.

00:13:59.000 I go back and forth on picking who's going to win the fight.

00:14:02.000 As far as if you want to make money, Gaethje's a good dog, but it'd be impossible to pick against Tony Ferguson if that lost in eight years.

00:14:09.000 The other thing is Gaethje comes in, and he comes in with his head lower.

00:14:13.000 Well, that's Snap City for Tony Ferguson with his Darces, his Anacondas.

00:14:18.000 And the other thing is we don't really know what kind of jiu-jitsu or jiu-jitsu defense Gaethje has.

00:14:25.000 He hasn't been in a scramble with a real high-level guy.

00:14:27.000 It's a big unknown.

00:14:29.000 And I think that Tony is one of the trickiest submission artists in the sport.

00:14:32.000 He's very sneaky.

00:14:34.000 He catches darces and scrambles.

00:14:36.000 He's got leg locks.

00:14:37.000 He's got triangles.

00:14:38.000 He tapped Kevin Lee off his back with a triangle.

00:14:41.000 He basically can do everything.

00:14:43.000 See, I wouldn't be surprised if Tony at one point starts diving for those ankles.

00:14:47.000 Because if you're not subversed in jiu-jitsu, that's where it gets dicey for guys.

00:14:52.000 You know how it is when a guy comes in and he doesn't know leg locks.

00:14:55.000 You get in this rabbit hole, man.

00:14:56.000 You can't keep up.

00:14:57.000 Especially if you haven't been training it.

00:14:58.000 You can't keep up.

00:14:59.000 Right.

00:14:59.000 And Tony has a leg lock game.

00:15:01.000 Eddie Bravo's his coach.

00:15:03.000 Yeah.

00:15:03.000 He's got everything.

00:15:04.000 He's got everything.

00:15:04.000 And his fucking hands are off the charts.

00:15:07.000 He's so weird, too.

00:15:08.000 Like, the way he moves.

00:15:09.000 Tony is so creative with his striking.

00:15:12.000 And it's almost like he moves almost like he's breakdancing in there.

00:15:16.000 You know?

00:15:16.000 Like, he's fucking stepping side to side, left, right.

00:15:19.000 Pop!

00:15:20.000 And then a jab comes out of nowhere.

00:15:21.000 You're like, what the fuck is he doing?

00:15:23.000 I can't tell you who would win the fight.

00:15:24.000 I don't know.

00:15:25.000 I can't tell you.

00:15:25.000 I love it, though.

00:15:26.000 I love it.

00:15:27.000 I can't wait.

00:15:27.000 I absolutely love it.

00:15:27.000 I cannot wait.

00:15:29.000 Cannot wait.

00:15:30.000 To me, this is one of the biggest UFC fights of all time.

00:15:32.000 It's a giant card.

00:15:33.000 The card is stacked.

00:15:35.000 It is one of the most stacked cards in the history of the sport.

00:15:38.000 Since UFC 100. From top to bottom, UFC 100. There's so many great fights that people are forgetting.

00:15:43.000 Like, oh, yeah.

00:15:44.000 Look, Francis Ngannou versus Rosenstreich.

00:15:49.000 I mean, that fight!

00:15:50.000 Filthy dude!

00:15:51.000 Holy shit!

00:15:52.000 Dude, how about Dominic Cruz?

00:15:53.000 The King of 135!

00:15:54.000 The King of 135!

00:15:54.000 Crazy!

00:15:55.000 And everybody's forgetting, it's so good, people forgot Jeremy Stevens versus Calvin Cater!

00:16:00.000 That's a fucking fight.

00:16:01.000 Look, I really believe Calvin Cater is the dark horse in that division.

00:16:05.000 I think he might be the champ someday.

00:16:07.000 I agree.

00:16:07.000 He's got a real shot.

00:16:08.000 Yep.

00:16:09.000 Goddamn, that's a good fight.

00:16:10.000 I wish I was five rounds though.

00:16:12.000 Kader's better than five.

00:16:14.000 Well, yeah.

00:16:14.000 Well, if you look at the Zabit fight, he was fucking Zabit up in that third round.

00:16:18.000 He would have been Zabit, man.

00:16:19.000 Yes.

00:16:19.000 I wholeheartedly believe that.

00:16:20.000 He might have stopped him.

00:16:21.000 The third round, he was chasing him down.

00:16:24.000 He was walking him down.

00:16:26.000 Oh, man.

00:16:27.000 I forgot.

00:16:29.000 Fabricio Verdum is back.

00:16:31.000 Olenek?

00:16:32.000 Jesus Christ.

00:16:33.000 Hey, you know what I picture is Olenek's team going, dude, you got to fight.

00:16:37.000 He's like, oh, yeah?

00:16:37.000 Who's getting this ten-finger choke?

00:16:39.000 They're all, yeah, it's Verdum.

00:16:41.000 He's like, fuck.

00:16:41.000 Fuck.

00:16:42.000 He's not getting the temperature.

00:16:44.000 He's joking for doom out.

00:16:45.000 You know, boy.

00:16:47.000 Goddamn it.

00:16:47.000 Strike and match.

00:16:48.000 Uriah Hall vs.

00:16:49.000 Jacare.

00:16:50.000 Carla Esparza vs.

00:16:52.000 Michelle Watterson.

00:16:53.000 Stacked.

00:16:54.000 Holy shit, what a card.

00:16:56.000 Even go to the pre-prelims.

00:16:58.000 Pettis vs.

00:16:59.000 Oh my god.

00:17:00.000 Vicente Luque vs.

00:17:01.000 Nico Price.

00:17:02.000 Holy shit, that's a good card.

00:17:04.000 Dude, Bryce Mitchell, Charles Rosa.

00:17:06.000 That's a great fight.

00:17:07.000 Oh my god, Ryan Spann, Sam Alvior, right from the fucking jump, it's awesome.

00:17:13.000 Fight of the Night's all over the board.

00:17:15.000 All over the place.

00:17:15.000 Good luck fighting for that bonus.

00:17:17.000 It's such a good card.

00:17:18.000 Well, when you're trying to jam, you know, all this goodness into one event because you've had this fucked up situation happen where, how many cards have been canceled?

00:17:29.000 Four?

00:17:29.000 Five cards?

00:17:30.000 Yeah.

00:17:31.000 The last fight was in Brazil, and was that January?

00:17:34.000 It was March.

00:17:35.000 It was March.

00:17:36.000 It was right after the UFC event that I did, which was the 7th.

00:17:42.000 I commentated on that one in Vegas.

00:17:44.000 So I guess it was the 14th?

00:17:46.000 In Brazil.

00:17:47.000 Was that it?

00:17:48.000 I think.

00:17:49.000 I think somewhere around there, the 14th.

00:17:51.000 And that was the one where Gilbert knocked out Damian Maia.

00:17:54.000 That's right.

00:17:55.000 And now he's fighting Woodley.

00:17:56.000 Yes!

00:17:57.000 I like that a lot.

00:18:01.000 That means, you know, I love Gilbert, but for Woodley to take that fight, you know, he usually picks and chooses who he wants to fight, so...

00:18:08.000 Yeah, what is, um...

00:18:10.000 They said that Dana...

00:18:11.000 I gotta talk to Dana this weekend, and he probably...

00:18:13.000 If he tells me, I can't tell you.

00:18:15.000 Well, I'll tell you.

00:18:15.000 Tell me?

00:18:16.000 I can't tell everybody else.

00:18:17.000 Oh, gotcha.

00:18:17.000 There's some sort of a fight for, um...

00:18:22.000 For Masvidal.

00:18:23.000 I think it's Connor on Fight Island.

00:18:27.000 That's what my fight brain's going towards.

00:18:29.000 Because he said, we have a bigger fight for Masvidal.

00:18:32.000 Because they said Kamaru versus Masvidal for the belt, right?

00:18:35.000 That was the talk forever.

00:18:36.000 And he goes, we have a more exciting fight.

00:18:37.000 I'm like, well, there's only two guys who'd be bigger.

00:18:40.000 GSP. Nah, I'd love if GSP, but I don't think so.

00:18:44.000 GSP. You know why?

00:18:45.000 No belt.

00:18:46.000 No belt.

00:18:47.000 They don't have to worry about GSP taking off.

00:18:49.000 Taking off.

00:18:50.000 GSP fights Masvidal.

00:18:51.000 That'd be gigantic.

00:18:53.000 The nice guy versus the bad boy?

00:18:54.000 Gigantic.

00:18:56.000 Conor, Masvidal is the fight, but then I wasn't even thinking of GSP. How about GSP Conor?

00:19:01.000 Amazing fight.

00:19:02.000 At 170. Amazing.

00:19:04.000 Well, I don't like Conor at 170, but...

00:19:06.000 GSP Conor at 170. Dude, ready for this?

00:19:09.000 How about Masvidal, Nick Diaz?

00:19:12.000 Masvidal, Nick Diaz, GSP Conor, same card.

00:19:15.000 Fight Island.

00:19:16.000 Good Lord!

00:19:17.000 I might have to take a trip to wherever the fuck it is.

00:19:19.000 Yeah, I might fly down there.

00:19:20.000 Where do you think Fight Island is?

00:19:22.000 I don't know.

00:19:23.000 No one wants to tell me.

00:19:24.000 It's one of that Bronson's islands.

00:19:27.000 The Virgin Island guy.

00:19:29.000 You know the Virgin Records or whatever the fuck?

00:19:31.000 That guy?

00:19:32.000 I'm pretty sure it's one of his islands.

00:19:33.000 Where'd you hear that?

00:19:35.000 The water cooler.

00:19:38.000 Where's the water cooler?

00:19:39.000 Who has a water cooler these days?

00:19:41.000 That's what it might be.

00:19:43.000 But dude, Nick Diaz...

00:19:46.000 Masvidal.

00:19:47.000 Now, does Nick Diaz definitely want to fight?

00:19:49.000 I don't know.

00:19:49.000 But in my brain, I'm thinking, who's out there who could be bigger than Kamaru Usman, Masvidal?

00:19:54.000 It's either Conor or Nick.

00:19:56.000 Well, Nick would work because Masvidal beat up his brother.

00:20:00.000 Exactly.

00:20:01.000 And redemption.

00:20:02.000 He asked for that fight.

00:20:03.000 But it's always tough with the negotiations with the Diazes.

00:20:05.000 Well, especially with Nick.

00:20:07.000 Because Nick hasn't fought since Anderson Silva.

00:20:09.000 It was a long time ago, man.

00:20:11.000 It'd be a tough go.

00:20:11.000 Dude, I'm pointing Masvidal-Conor.

00:20:13.000 When Masvidal was on Food Truck Diaries, Off camera, him and his manager were like, dude, it's Conor Masvidal.

00:20:20.000 That's our fight.

00:20:20.000 They told us they wanted to.

00:20:22.000 That's the fight.

00:20:23.000 Really?

00:20:23.000 That was months ago.

00:20:25.000 That was after he beat...

00:20:27.000 Who did he beat last?

00:20:31.000 Masvidal?

00:20:31.000 Yeah.

00:20:31.000 He beat Diaz, right?

00:20:33.000 That's right.

00:20:34.000 That was the last fight?

00:20:35.000 Yeah, I had him on literally like a week after that, and he was like, oh, Conor's the fight.

00:20:38.000 They're telling us he wants the fight, we want the fight.

00:20:41.000 Wow.

00:20:42.000 That's a big fight.

00:20:44.000 Masvidal Conor?

00:20:45.000 Jesus Christ, dude.

00:20:46.000 The talking will be off the charts.

00:20:48.000 Do a press tour for that, man.

00:20:50.000 Yeah, you can't scare Masvidal either.

00:20:53.000 And Masvidal's a big fella.

00:20:55.000 I know he fought 55 before.

00:20:57.000 I mean, he fought 55 for a long time, but it wasn't his weight class.

00:21:00.000 I don't see Conor fight him at 70, though.

00:21:02.000 He's gonna fight him at 70, I guarantee you.

00:21:04.000 Masvidal's not gonna go to 55. Really?

00:21:07.000 Is that what they said?

00:21:09.000 Yep.

00:21:10.000 That's what they said?

00:21:11.000 That's what they were talking about.

00:21:12.000 Oh, they want to weaken Masvidal.

00:21:14.000 They want to pull a Floyd Canelo on him.

00:21:16.000 As much as I love Masvidal, Conor's still the top dog in town.

00:21:21.000 So you've got to meet him a little bit halfway.

00:21:23.000 He's the top dog in town, but I'm telling you, man, when you go to the UFC and you see the pop that Masvidal gets, there's this change in the public perception.

00:21:31.000 He's a star.

00:21:32.000 He's a huge star right now.

00:21:34.000 I mean, he might not be as big a star...

00:21:36.000 Over the world, as Conor is, he's not.

00:21:39.000 He's definitely not.

00:21:40.000 Conor's eclipsed the sport, but Masvidal is one of the biggest stars in the sport.

00:21:45.000 He's giant.

00:21:46.000 Easily.

00:21:47.000 I think that fight would be bonkers.

00:21:50.000 Just straight up bonkers.

00:21:51.000 Conor said he wants to fight three times this year, but that's not happening, so they're going to give him some big fights.

00:21:56.000 Wow.

00:21:57.000 Damn.

00:21:59.000 Man.

00:22:00.000 Masvidal, Conor.

00:22:03.000 Talk to your boy.

00:22:04.000 See if it's happening.

00:22:04.000 So who's going to fight Usman?

00:22:08.000 GSP or Colby?

00:22:10.000 Colby?

00:22:11.000 How's Colby going to fight him?

00:22:12.000 He just beat Colby.

00:22:14.000 He just stopped Colby.

00:22:16.000 You can't sell that Colby rematch yet.

00:22:19.000 Not yet.

00:22:21.000 Colby's got to beat somebody good.

00:22:22.000 You know, he's got to beat Leon Edwards.

00:22:24.000 He's got to beat someone good.

00:22:25.000 Leon Edwards is like, boy, he got fucked.

00:22:29.000 He's going to fight Woodley.

00:22:30.000 He can't leave the country.

00:22:31.000 And as far as how good he is versus public perception in terms of the knowledge of him, people knowing how good he is, he's waiting for that one fight, that one big fight, and Woodley could have been that fight.

00:22:45.000 Woodley would have been that fight.

00:22:46.000 Like Darren Till got Cowboy, right?

00:22:47.000 That's how he got on the map.

00:22:49.000 Then he got Wonderboy.

00:22:50.000 That's all Leon Edwards needs, like a Woodley and then another, like a Colby or something like that.

00:22:55.000 Well, if he beat Colby, that would be it for him.

00:22:57.000 That would be a good fight.

00:22:59.000 That's a real good fight to make.

00:23:00.000 Colby versus Leon Edwards is a really great fight to make.

00:23:04.000 And both guys, like, if both guys win, they've got a real argument to fight for the title again.

00:23:07.000 If Colby wins, he's going to talk mad shit, and he's going to, you know, where you at, Marty?

00:23:12.000 And that kind of stuff.

00:23:13.000 Hilarious.

00:23:14.000 Dude, what happens?

00:23:15.000 Leon Edwards will fight next on Fight Island against high-ranked opponents, says Dana White.

00:23:20.000 Fight Island.

00:23:20.000 All right.

00:23:21.000 Come on down.

00:23:21.000 Okay.

00:23:22.000 Who's that high-ranked opponent?

00:23:23.000 Who would that be?

00:23:25.000 Who else is left?

00:23:26.000 Well, there's Wonderboy.

00:23:28.000 Wonderboy's still in the mix.

00:23:29.000 That's a great fight.

00:23:30.000 That's a great fight.

00:23:31.000 Who else at 170 is in the mix?

00:23:34.000 So you got Gilbert, who's going to fight Woodley, which is a great fight.

00:23:39.000 So those two are accounted for.

00:23:42.000 Wonderboy, there's no fight for him right now.

00:23:44.000 Who else is in the mix at the top of the food chain?

00:23:48.000 Did Wonderboy not talk about going to 85?

00:23:50.000 Did he?

00:23:51.000 I thought he did.

00:23:52.000 Really?

00:23:53.000 Maybe that's just a fan question.

00:23:55.000 Maybe he said he would.

00:23:56.000 Okay, let's see what we got here at 170. Masvidal, Damian Maia, Michael Chiesa.

00:24:03.000 He's my dark person.

00:24:04.000 Well, Chiesa's very good.

00:24:05.000 He's so big.

00:24:07.000 It's so crazy to think that guy's fought 55 for so long.

00:24:10.000 He was a motherfucker, too.

00:24:11.000 He was at number 12, Neal.

00:24:13.000 Oh, yeah.

00:24:14.000 He's a monster.

00:24:15.000 He's got 70s.

00:24:16.000 He's the dark horse of 170, Jeff Neal.

00:24:19.000 He's one of the most technical and talented guys in the division.

00:24:23.000 When he fought Mike Perry and knocked out Mike Perry with that left high kick, I was like, holy shit.

00:24:31.000 He's a monster.

00:24:32.000 Jeff Neal, he's one of those guys where you look at him like he's something special.

00:24:37.000 Dude, when you look at 55, 70, and 85, dude...

00:24:42.000 It is Murder's Row from top to fucking bottom.

00:24:45.000 Top to bottom.

00:24:46.000 Has Dos Anjos fought Leon?

00:24:48.000 He hasn't, right?

00:24:50.000 No.

00:24:51.000 That's a possibility.

00:24:53.000 He has a lot of possibilities.

00:24:54.000 Kiesa just beat Dos Anos.

00:24:56.000 Yep.

00:24:58.000 Gilbert beat...

00:24:59.000 I mean, it really seems like Leon and Stephen Thompson is the way to go.

00:25:03.000 Wonder Boy and Leon seems like it has to happen, right?

00:25:06.000 Talk to your boy.

00:25:07.000 I mean, that's probably what they're going to do on Fight Island, if I had a guess.

00:25:10.000 That'd be a great fight.

00:25:11.000 That's a great fight.

00:25:12.000 I like that a lot.

00:25:13.000 Now, where's Robbie Lawler in the mix?

00:25:16.000 Robbie's at 11. It's interesting, right?

00:25:19.000 Because after Colby, Colby just kind of ran him over, didn't he?

00:25:23.000 Yeah, he did.

00:25:24.000 Robbie versus Jeff Neal would be a crazy fight.

00:25:27.000 That's a great fight, too.

00:25:28.000 That's a great fight.

00:25:30.000 That's a great coming out party for Jeff Neal.

00:25:33.000 God, what a fucking division.

00:25:33.000 That's all they need is one big fight.

00:25:34.000 Dude.

00:25:35.000 How about your boy Barboza going down to 45?

00:25:37.000 How the fuck does he do that?

00:25:39.000 That guy's shredded.

00:25:41.000 He can't be good.

00:25:42.000 He can't be healthy.

00:25:43.000 He's shredded at 55. And if you think 45's easier than 55, we got another thing for you, brother.

00:25:47.000 Who is he fighting at 45?

00:25:49.000 He's fighting someone good.

00:25:50.000 Oh, did they announce who he's fighting?

00:25:51.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:25:52.000 Let me see the 45 pound rankings.

00:25:55.000 55's nasty.

00:25:56.000 What do you got here at 45?

00:25:58.000 Yeah.

00:25:59.000 Pick your poison.

00:26:00.000 Who's he fighting?

00:26:01.000 Pick your fucking poison, dude.

00:26:03.000 I can't remember who the hell he's fighting.

00:26:04.000 Is it Shane Burgos?

00:26:06.000 I don't know who he's fighting.

00:26:07.000 That's not an easy fight.

00:26:08.000 No.

00:26:09.000 He's fighting someone very good at 45. See if we can find him.

00:26:14.000 Dude.

00:26:15.000 Dude, 35 all the way up to 85 is so stacked.

00:26:20.000 It's madness.

00:26:20.000 It's so hard to become a champion now.

00:26:22.000 There's a real good argument for opening up these divisions and having one every 10 pounds now when you've got world championship caliber fighters.

00:26:28.000 So stacked.

00:26:28.000 Agree.

00:26:29.000 Yeah.

00:26:29.000 That's a good point.

00:26:30.000 Now, I've never been in favor of opening up divisions, but now it's so stacked to get to the top, it'd be so fucking hard.

00:26:35.000 Well, not just that.

00:26:37.000 It's like everybody is not going to get a chance.

00:26:40.000 Because you have so many guys in a division that are world class.

00:26:43.000 It's too tough.

00:26:44.000 The title can't be defended that many times in a year, and you only have so many years at your peak.

00:26:50.000 Yeah, you're right.

00:26:51.000 Yeah, it seems like...

00:26:52.000 Look, I've been saying it forever.

00:26:54.000 Every 10 pounds, just open it up.

00:26:55.000 I wonder why they're against it.

00:26:57.000 More belts?

00:26:58.000 You're doing all these intern bullshit belts.

00:27:00.000 Why not open up the weight classes?

00:27:02.000 Give more guys a chance to shine.

00:27:04.000 I don't know.

00:27:04.000 I want to have the most delicious beverage of all time.

00:27:06.000 Is it nice?

00:27:07.000 Yeah.

00:27:08.000 Grape.

00:27:09.000 Grape, Kill Cliff, CBD. Is there caffeine in it?

00:27:12.000 No.

00:27:13.000 That's boring.

00:27:14.000 25 milligrams of CBD, though.

00:27:15.000 All right.

00:27:16.000 Just try that.

00:27:17.000 Almost some CBD. Fucking goddamn delicious.

00:27:20.000 Yeah, I mean, where does it go?

00:27:23.000 And, you know, in 85, what happens in 85 now?

00:27:27.000 Right?

00:27:28.000 Like, Darren Till just said that he wants to...

00:27:30.000 Pretty good, right?

00:27:31.000 Yeah, it's nice.

00:27:32.000 They said Darren Till wants to coach Ultimate Fighter opposite Israel Adesanya.

00:27:37.000 So he put that up on Twitter or Instagram, whatever the fuck it is.

00:27:41.000 He says a lot of stuff on there.

00:27:42.000 Stylebender just writes, no.

00:27:47.000 Stylebender's too big of a star for that.

00:27:49.000 No, that's it.

00:27:50.000 Just no.

00:27:52.000 Why would Stylebender do that?

00:27:54.000 That's the way he wrote it.

00:27:56.000 He's a beast.

00:27:57.000 No.

00:27:58.000 Not happening.

00:27:59.000 Just...

00:28:00.000 No explanation?

00:28:02.000 Just no.

00:28:06.000 But...

00:28:07.000 Oh, Dan Ige.

00:28:11.000 First of all, Dan Ige...

00:28:14.000 Has fantastic cardio.

00:28:16.000 He's got great submissions.

00:28:17.000 He's got great strikes.

00:28:19.000 He's fucking ferocious.

00:28:20.000 He's coming up.

00:28:21.000 He's improving every fight.

00:28:22.000 Yeah, I don't know the odds on that, but that ain't fun for Barboza.

00:28:25.000 45?

00:28:26.000 Killing himself to make 45?

00:28:28.000 I mean, unless he knows something, we don't.

00:28:31.000 In terms of weight loss.

00:28:33.000 He would have went earlier if he knew something.

00:28:34.000 Angela Hill and Claudia Gedalia is a great fucking fight, too.

00:28:38.000 Two dimies.

00:28:41.000 Walt Harris.

00:28:42.000 Alistair Overeem.

00:28:43.000 Dude, what do you do with the winner of Francis Rosenstruck?

00:28:47.000 You give them the interim title.

00:28:49.000 That's what I think.

00:28:50.000 Stipe can't fight right now.

00:28:52.000 He goes, I can't even get a hold of an octagon right now.

00:28:56.000 I can't even get a full training camp, so I'm not fighting.

00:28:58.000 He goes, no way I can even fight by August.

00:29:01.000 Come on, dude.

00:29:02.000 Well, I don't understand that necessarily, that argument, but I do know that he's got real problems with his eye.

00:29:10.000 Yeah, it's an eye issue.

00:29:11.000 It's a torn retina and, you know, it's supposed to be healing and he's doing his best to heal and I'd actually, you know, talked to him about it and he's been pretty vocal about that it's not healed yet.

00:29:23.000 So he definitely shouldn't fight?

00:29:24.000 Yeah, he was talking about seeing if there's some stem cell options, but the people that he talked to were essentially saying that the only thing that's available is intravenous stem cell for overall body healing, which you could do for sure, and it would probably accelerate some of the healing, but it's a real problem.

00:29:40.000 An eye, dude?

00:29:43.000 Talk to Bisping about it, man.

00:29:44.000 Yeah, exactly.

00:29:45.000 He should talk to Bisping, because I wonder if Bisping would go through the...

00:29:48.000 I know Bisping said he wished he didn't take the Kelvin fight, I think.

00:29:51.000 Remember that?

00:29:52.000 Because he hurt his other eye.

00:29:53.000 Yeah, I think so, yeah.

00:29:54.000 Yeah, he hurt his good eye in that fight.

00:29:55.000 If you're going to talk to anyone about eyes, it'd be Bisping, man.

00:29:58.000 Yeah.

00:29:58.000 But with Stipe, all right, so you're on the shelf.

00:30:00.000 You've got to give the intern belt to Francis and Rosenstruck.

00:30:03.000 I think so.

00:30:04.000 I think so.

00:30:05.000 I mean, there's no one else that stands out.

00:30:07.000 And then if you're DC, he wants the belt, the real belt, so he's not going to fight the winner of Francis.

00:30:13.000 She's not going to want to fight Francis.

00:30:14.000 No, you don't want to.

00:30:15.000 Nobody wants to fight Francis.

00:30:16.000 Dude, have you seen Francis with his shirt off?

00:30:19.000 Yes.

00:30:19.000 What the fuck, dude?

00:30:21.000 He's training hard, man.

00:30:22.000 We're not all built the same.

00:30:23.000 He's training hard.

00:30:24.000 No, no.

00:30:24.000 Look, man, that guy is like a character in a movie.

00:30:28.000 If you stop and think about his childhood, learning how to fight, and then growing up in a fucking, like working in a sand mine.

00:30:36.000 Just digging in the sand.

00:30:40.000 I mean, it's like a Conan movie.

00:30:41.000 Yes.

00:30:42.000 He's so powerful, man.

00:30:44.000 And he's so big.

00:30:46.000 You're talking about a guy who's cutting weight to make 265. And all natural.

00:30:51.000 Just genetics.

00:30:52.000 Look at that.

00:30:52.000 Off the charts, genetics.

00:30:54.000 What the fuck?

00:30:55.000 Power.

00:30:56.000 Insane power.

00:30:57.000 But I'll tell you, man, Rosenstreich is no walk in the park.

00:31:02.000 He's a real elite striker, man.

00:31:04.000 He's a big fuck too.

00:31:06.000 He's more decorated as far as pure striking.

00:31:08.000 And he's big, man.

00:31:09.000 He's fucking big.

00:31:11.000 He ain't built like that though.

00:31:12.000 Nope, not built like that.

00:31:13.000 He's got some body fat on him, but he's a solid 265. Rosenstreich is huge, bro.

00:31:19.000 Have you met him?

00:31:20.000 I haven't.

00:31:21.000 He's enormous.

00:31:22.000 Rosenstreich is fucking huge.

00:31:24.000 He's got a tits on him.

00:31:26.000 He doesn't have the same amount of low body fat or lean musculature, but he has great stamina.

00:31:33.000 I mean, he knocked out Overeem in the fifth round with a few seconds to go.

00:31:37.000 He was losing that fight, too.

00:31:40.000 But Overeem is a legit elite striker.

00:31:42.000 Now, the difference between the way Overeem fought him and the way Overeem fought Francis, Overeem got stuck in these exchanges with Francis, and Francis hit him with that left hook, which is just...

00:31:53.000 It's the uppercut, right?

00:31:54.000 It was like a shovel.

00:31:55.000 It's one of the worst knockouts in the history of sport.

00:31:59.000 Ever.

00:32:01.000 The head?

00:32:02.000 The fucking head?

00:32:02.000 The back of his head slapped him in the ass.

00:32:06.000 It really did.

00:32:08.000 Ain't that a bitch?

00:32:09.000 I've never seen anybody's head snap like that.

00:32:11.000 Francis hit you as hard as he can.

00:32:12.000 Just this African uppercut.

00:32:14.000 This superhero fucking Iron Man Jack City.

00:32:18.000 Left hook.

00:32:19.000 Boom!

00:32:20.000 Rosenstreich can take it too.

00:32:22.000 Like he was walking through Alistair's shots.

00:32:24.000 I bet you doesn't walk through Francis's.

00:32:26.000 No one walks through Francis's.

00:32:28.000 Stipe did a little bit.

00:32:29.000 He got hit by him.

00:32:30.000 Paid the price though.

00:32:31.000 I think that part of what happened in the second fight, or the first fight rather, with DC was the damage that Stipe had incurred in the fight with Francis.

00:32:42.000 That's fair because he took some big shots, man.

00:32:44.000 Big shots.

00:32:45.000 And you only get so many of those.

00:32:46.000 And when he got hit and knocked out like that, it wasn't the biggest shot he got hit with.

00:32:50.000 I don't think he saw it coming, but the way he went out from that shot, it's almost like...

00:32:55.000 It's lights out.

00:32:56.000 You gotta wonder how much of that was residual damage from battling the scariest fucking striker in the sport.

00:33:04.000 Yeah, I'm just super high on Francis now.

00:33:06.000 I think, you know, he got humbled a little bit in that Stipe fight.

00:33:09.000 He was like, dude, it was just too fast.

00:33:11.000 I wasn't ready.

00:33:11.000 I was too arrogant.

00:33:13.000 Went back to the drawing board.

00:33:14.000 You look at him now, you're like, holy shit, who's going to beat this guy?

00:33:16.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:33:18.000 He's champ by 2021. Well, I'm telling you, he's still got to get past Rosenstreich.

00:33:22.000 Which I think he does.

00:33:24.000 Who knows, though?

00:33:25.000 Who knows?

00:33:25.000 He might not.

00:33:27.000 Rosenstreich is a really talented striker.

00:33:29.000 Super talented.

00:33:30.000 It's got to be fucking crazy.

00:33:31.000 It's got to be crazy.

00:33:32.000 I can't wait for that fight.

00:33:34.000 Jeremy Stevens vs.

00:33:36.000 Calvin Cater is a crazy fight, too.

00:33:37.000 You never can count out Jeremy Stevens.

00:33:40.000 There's a lot of live dogs on this.

00:33:41.000 If you like the bet, you can put together a parlay, and you risk like 100, and you can win 15,000.

00:33:46.000 It's like some crazy parlay, but you look at it like, I can see that shit happening, man.

00:33:51.000 And also, who knows what kind of fight camps these guys are getting, right?

00:33:57.000 Training partners would be the biggest thing.

00:33:59.000 The only one I'm not worried about is Tony Ferguson.

00:34:01.000 He's a lone wuff.

00:34:04.000 How are gyms dealing with this?

00:34:05.000 What happens to a guy like Dominick Cruz?

00:34:08.000 Is he allowed to go to the gym and train?

00:34:11.000 What do they do?

00:34:12.000 If you're one of those big names, I guarantee those guys are getting keys to the gym and going in and doing their thing.

00:34:16.000 But even if you get a key to the gym, are you allowed to do that?

00:34:20.000 Who's going to stop it?

00:34:21.000 But this is one of the things that's been weird.

00:34:23.000 They're giving people tickets for shit.

00:34:25.000 Dude, I got a ticket for riding my bike.

00:34:26.000 What?

00:34:27.000 I didn't tell you this?

00:34:28.000 No!

00:34:29.000 Yeah, I got a ticket.

00:34:29.000 Did we talk about this yesterday?

00:34:31.000 No.

00:34:31.000 I brought it up.

00:34:32.000 I wasn't sure if it was...

00:34:34.000 What did Elon say?

00:34:35.000 Can you get me out of it?

00:34:36.000 Oh, fuck.

00:34:39.000 Elon's like, I'll take care of this, Shob.

00:34:41.000 What happened?

00:34:42.000 I'm riding my bike like I do every day, avoiding rattlesnakes, and I get on the descent.

00:34:46.000 I'm in the middle of nowhere, dude.

00:34:47.000 Nowhere.

00:34:48.000 I ride from Woodland Hills to Malibu.

00:34:50.000 I'm in the middle of nowhere in between there, and then I see two Ranger trucks intercept me, and they get out and they have masks on, and I start laughing.

00:34:57.000 I go, no way.

00:34:59.000 I go, you think we're going to get COVID out here?

00:35:01.000 Fellas, do you think we can take the mask off?

00:35:03.000 Get the mask off.

00:35:04.000 Nobody's getting COVID out here.

00:35:05.000 And they take their mask off.

00:35:06.000 I'm like, I can't believe they listen.

00:35:07.000 They take the mask off and I go, are you giving me a ticket?

00:35:10.000 And he goes, listen, here's the problem, dude, is the parks are closed.

00:35:14.000 I go, they're closed?

00:35:16.000 Since when?

00:35:17.000 He goes, how long have we been in quarantine?

00:35:20.000 I go, I don't know.

00:35:20.000 How long have we been?

00:35:21.000 He goes, I think like over 50 days.

00:35:23.000 I've been out here every single day for the past 50 days.

00:35:26.000 He goes, what?

00:35:26.000 Really?

00:35:27.000 50 tickets?

00:35:28.000 Yeah, he goes, really?

00:35:28.000 I go, every day, dude.

00:35:30.000 And he's like, well, you know, he just got lucky.

00:35:32.000 And he goes, here's the problem is, if a thousand people had your same mindset and came out here, then we'd have a problem.

00:35:38.000 And I go, does anybody ride a bike here?

00:35:41.000 And the big guy's like, I ride a bike.

00:35:42.000 He goes, I'm actually part of the Thick Boy Bike Club.

00:35:45.000 Did he say that?

00:35:46.000 So he knows you.

00:35:47.000 He knows.

00:35:48.000 I go, dude, have you ridden out here?

00:35:50.000 And he goes, I usually don't go this far.

00:35:52.000 And I'm like, well...

00:35:54.000 You got to be in pretty good fucking shape to get all the way out here, man, and back.

00:35:57.000 You think those people are worried about getting COVID or spreading it?

00:36:00.000 We're going to be fine, man.

00:36:01.000 And he goes, you're probably right.

00:36:03.000 He goes, it's not my doing.

00:36:04.000 So you're giving me a ticket?

00:36:05.000 He goes, no, I'm not giving you a ticket.

00:36:07.000 I go, oh, fuck, yeah, dude.

00:36:08.000 He goes, but he is.

00:36:09.000 And this other guy gets out and gives me a ticket.

00:36:11.000 How much?

00:36:12.000 He says it's the lowest finding you get.

00:36:13.000 It's like $40 or $60.

00:36:15.000 And I go, it's like $60.

00:36:16.000 I go, $60?

00:36:17.000 I go, see tomorrow!

00:36:18.000 And they started laughing.

00:36:19.000 I was there the next day.

00:36:21.000 I was there today.

00:36:23.000 Don't say this.

00:36:24.000 They're going to come.

00:36:24.000 Now they're going to make an example out of you.

00:36:26.000 I don't give up.

00:36:27.000 When are those parks open?

00:36:29.000 They're not open yet?

00:36:31.000 Friday.

00:36:32.000 No, yeah, but you're supposed to wear a mask while you're...

00:36:34.000 While you're riding a bike?

00:36:35.000 That makes no sense.

00:36:36.000 Oh my god, that's so stupid.

00:36:38.000 Dude, I saw a guy on his bike today out there with me on the trails.

00:36:41.000 He had the mask on.

00:36:41.000 I'm like, get the mask off, dude.

00:36:44.000 Get the fucking mask off, man.

00:36:46.000 What are you doing?

00:36:47.000 How are you going to get it out here?

00:36:49.000 It doesn't make any sense.

00:36:51.000 Everybody's so paranoid.

00:36:52.000 It's so weird.

00:36:54.000 It's a sheet mentality, man.

00:36:55.000 We're not in the ICU. Okay?

00:36:58.000 We're not in the hospital.

00:36:59.000 We're not in a nursing home.

00:37:00.000 Or dude, this is my favorite.

00:37:01.000 When we're on these trails, right?

00:37:03.000 And you're pretty far apart.

00:37:04.000 And they see me and they put their mask on.

00:37:06.000 I'm like...

00:37:07.000 Oh, God.

00:37:08.000 I go by, can't be my friend!

00:37:10.000 Whitney told me she crashed and got really fucked up and no one came to help her.

00:37:14.000 Went over the front of the handlebars.

00:37:16.000 Almost broke her neck.

00:37:18.000 Nobody wanted to help her and everyone's wearing a mask.

00:37:20.000 Everyone kept going.

00:37:20.000 People yelled at her for not wearing a mask too.

00:37:24.000 It's fucking dark out there, man.

00:37:26.000 Bunch of bitches.

00:37:28.000 Especially out there.

00:37:29.000 You know the sun.

00:37:32.000 Yeah, those guys, I don't think they care.

00:37:34.000 I was even talking shit about Governor Newsom to them.

00:37:36.000 They were like, dude, we don't agree with it.

00:37:38.000 It's something we have to do.

00:37:39.000 Yeah, they're just doing their job.

00:37:42.000 Sucks.

00:37:42.000 That's why I told them, I get it, man.

00:37:44.000 What would it be like if a thousand people did it?

00:37:45.000 First of all, a thousand people aren't going to fucking do it.

00:37:48.000 A thousand people ain't coming out there, man.

00:37:50.000 No, it's hard.

00:37:50.000 That's why I told him.

00:37:51.000 I go, you ride bikes, dude.

00:37:52.000 You're part of the club.

00:37:53.000 You know how hard it is to get out here, man.

00:37:55.000 Yeah.

00:37:55.000 I go, if they're getting out here, then fucking shape.

00:37:57.000 Even if we all got COVID, we're all going to be fine.

00:38:00.000 Yes.

00:38:01.000 And he was like, I get it, man.

00:38:02.000 The problem is once the narrative gets established, you know?

00:38:06.000 Once the narrative gets established.

00:38:08.000 It's crazy to me the news isn't held accountable for anything.

00:38:10.000 Like the slander they're putting out.

00:38:12.000 You're like, why aren't you showing anything positive?

00:38:15.000 That's why I tweet out positive stats.

00:38:17.000 I'm like, why don't you guys show anything positive?

00:38:19.000 You're scaring the fuck out of people, man.

00:38:21.000 They want to.

00:38:21.000 That's how they make money.

00:38:23.000 They make money off of advertising.

00:38:24.000 They make advertising off of views.

00:38:26.000 They make views off of scaring people.

00:38:28.000 And then China said they're starting to get over COVID. Release the fucking warrior hornets where the fuck they are.

00:38:35.000 To murder hornets.

00:38:36.000 To murder hornets.

00:38:38.000 That's what I thought this was when I walked in, dude.

00:38:40.000 They're about that size, though.

00:38:41.000 That's a tarantula hawk.

00:38:42.000 I think those Asian hornets are actually bigger than that.

00:38:46.000 It makes me feel sick.

00:38:47.000 Well, if they're in Washington, I bet their fucking thick asses are going to head to California.

00:38:52.000 Everybody loves California.

00:38:54.000 How many of them did they find?

00:38:56.000 I don't know, a shit ton, right?

00:38:57.000 I was like, how bad can they be?

00:38:59.000 And I look on the video, they're intercepting bees and ripping their fucking heads off, dude.

00:39:04.000 Cut their heads off.

00:39:04.000 They snip their heads in half with their mandibles.

00:39:07.000 Yeah.

00:39:08.000 And they kill thousands of bees.

00:39:09.000 Look at the size of these fucks.

00:39:11.000 Oh my god.

00:39:12.000 And they show up at these colonies.

00:39:15.000 These bee colonies, they show up at the hives and just burn through the hives.

00:39:19.000 They start chopping heads off.

00:39:20.000 There's a horrendous video of these Asian hornets that show up at this beehive and just start chopping them in half.

00:39:27.000 Have you seen that video where that Coyote Peterson guy lets one sting him?

00:39:31.000 Oh my god.

00:39:32.000 My favorite's the camera guy.

00:39:33.000 He's like, oh god, oh god.

00:39:36.000 Alright, now tell us what you're feeling, man.

00:39:37.000 That's why we do it.

00:39:38.000 You gotta tell people what you're feeling.

00:39:39.000 He's like, fuck!

00:39:40.000 Alright!

00:39:41.000 You can tell he's super annoyed.

00:39:42.000 It was the worst pain.

00:39:44.000 It seemed pretty bad.

00:39:45.000 Well, and then 20 minutes later, his arm had swole up like someone had shoved a shoe under his skin.

00:39:50.000 It was like all popped up and puffy.

00:39:52.000 He couldn't touch anywhere near it.

00:39:54.000 He was in agony.

00:39:54.000 Dude, have you seen Kings?

00:39:55.000 Is it Kings of Pain, Jamie?

00:39:57.000 I think it's Kings.

00:39:58.000 I could not remember the name.

00:39:59.000 I think it's on the History Channel.

00:40:02.000 I think it's on History Channel, but it's these two dudes, one Australian dude, one regular American dude who's a Marine.

00:40:07.000 And they're like, the pain scale hasn't been done since like the 1970s.

00:40:12.000 So we're going to go around.

00:40:13.000 We give it a 1 through 30. We rank them on these, you know, criterias.

00:40:18.000 So they go around all over the world.

00:40:20.000 These fucking dudes, man.

00:40:22.000 They collect these wasps.

00:40:24.000 They collect, you know, the tarantula hawk.

00:40:27.000 And then the finale, I'm like, well, what are they going to do here?

00:40:29.000 They catch a giant...

00:40:32.000 Bow constrictor in the forest, and then they put masks on so it can't bite their neck and kill them, and then they give the thing their arm?

00:40:39.000 Dude, this fucking python destroys their arm.

00:40:44.000 Was it a python or a boa constrictor?

00:40:46.000 I don't know.

00:40:46.000 A reticulated python, it says.

00:40:48.000 Yeah, pythons have horrendous fangs.

00:40:52.000 Kings of pain.

00:40:53.000 Oh, Jesus.

00:40:54.000 Why is it biting the guy's arm?

00:40:56.000 Well, they want to see how painful it is.

00:40:57.000 No one's ever done a pain scale on a python.

00:41:01.000 Oh my god.

00:41:02.000 That's a big fuck.

00:41:03.000 It was a Komodo dragon or something and it didn't get off like 10 minutes.

00:41:06.000 Yeah, the Komodo dragon.

00:41:07.000 They couldn't get it off him for 10 minutes?

00:41:10.000 It snapped and it would just...

00:41:11.000 They had like soap.

00:41:13.000 They're like, let's spray the soap in its mouth.

00:41:14.000 The lizard was like, I don't give a fuck.

00:41:16.000 But Komodo dragons have poison in their mouth.

00:41:19.000 It might have been a monotu.

00:41:20.000 Their crazy lizard bites last 10 minutes.

00:41:24.000 Is it a Komodo dragon?

00:41:25.000 A monotu lizard.

00:41:25.000 Monotu lizard.

00:41:26.000 Well, they're in the same family.

00:41:29.000 Oh, Jesus.

00:41:31.000 They can't get it off, dude.

00:41:32.000 They can't get it off.

00:41:32.000 Well, I know how to get it off.

00:41:33.000 You put a bullet in that fucking thing's brain.

00:41:36.000 I'd be like, fuck this game.

00:41:38.000 Oh my god, I won't let them go.

00:41:39.000 Look at that.

00:41:41.000 So the one guy does it, and then they switch.

00:41:45.000 They both have to do it.

00:41:46.000 I would definitely want to go first.

00:41:48.000 Well, why don't they put a wedge in its mouth like you do with a pit bull?

00:41:51.000 Look at him punching the board.

00:41:53.000 This is so silly.

00:41:54.000 No one knows what to do.

00:41:55.000 Its claws are getting into them, too.

00:41:56.000 Oh, this is so silly.

00:41:57.000 My thing is, I want to see how much they got paid to do this.

00:42:00.000 I don't think much.

00:42:01.000 They paid to do it.

00:42:02.000 I was hoping they got paid well.

00:42:03.000 Look at the claws, man.

00:42:03.000 Look how it's using its claws.

00:42:05.000 Yeah, it's gnarly.

00:42:05.000 I'm pretty sure the one guy's like a Marine.

00:42:06.000 The other guy's just like, you know, the crocodile hunter.

00:42:09.000 Rest in peace.

00:42:10.000 So stupid.

00:42:13.000 This is such a white guy thing to do.

00:42:15.000 This is like what Lil Duval calls white boy in.

00:42:17.000 He has Lil Duval on his Instagram.

00:42:19.000 Hey, and this white boy can't get enough of it, dude.

00:42:21.000 I've been watched all ten episodes in like an hour.

00:42:24.000 I couldn't get enough of it.

00:42:26.000 One day, just through all of it.

00:42:27.000 Why do you like it, though?

00:42:28.000 Because it's insane, man!

00:42:30.000 I have no desire to watch that.

00:42:31.000 Really?

00:42:31.000 And see which animal hurts the most?

00:42:33.000 Really?

00:42:34.000 It all sucks.

00:42:35.000 Don't get bit.

00:42:36.000 I know.

00:42:37.000 I was telling you this off here, that the guy DM'd me, because I keep giving the show praise, and he's like, dude, for season number two, we're thinking of having celebrities on, man.

00:42:46.000 We'd love to have you on.

00:42:47.000 I was like, oh, well, maybe.

00:42:50.000 I don't know if I want that.

00:42:52.000 I'm going to let a crow bite me.

00:42:54.000 Yeah, I was like...

00:42:56.000 See how bad those pigeons hurt, bro.

00:42:59.000 What's the scale of a parakeet?

00:43:01.000 Yeah, I don't know.

00:43:02.000 I don't know.

00:43:03.000 Probably not for me.

00:43:04.000 Get the fuck out of here.

00:43:05.000 Dude, I have this weird...

00:43:06.000 Because I see...

00:43:07.000 I think Cam Haynes posted a video of him grabbing...

00:43:09.000 I don't think it was a rattlesnake, but he came across a snake and he's like, you gotta save these things.

00:43:13.000 So everyone's like, Shob, you gotta start doing this, man, when you run the snakes.

00:43:17.000 And even before I saw Cam do that, I've had this weird urge to grab the snakes.

00:43:21.000 I don't know what it is.

00:43:22.000 Might be CT, but I have this weird urge...

00:43:25.000 To just grab the snake and like, I don't know, fuck with it, like hold it.

00:43:28.000 Do you bring anything with you, like a stick or anything?

00:43:31.000 I have nothing, Joe.

00:43:32.000 That's why I text you.

00:43:32.000 I'm like, dude, I need that knife.

00:43:33.000 Because the problem is, if I take my specialized stump jumper, it makes noise.

00:43:39.000 It makes noise.

00:43:40.000 If I take this e-bike, this YT industry e-bike, it's silent.

00:43:44.000 So the animals don't hear me coming.

00:43:45.000 So today I stumped on three coyotes, pretty big.

00:43:49.000 Pretty big coyotes.

00:43:51.000 Were they looking at you funny?

00:43:52.000 Yeah, and I was yelling.

00:43:53.000 That's all I knew what to do.

00:43:54.000 I had my earphones and I was yelling.

00:43:55.000 They don't even give a fuck.

00:43:56.000 Oh, they didn't give a fuck, dude.

00:43:57.000 They're so not scared of people.

00:43:58.000 Oh, you know what?

00:43:58.000 They literally just was like, look at this.

00:44:00.000 What's this fucking moron doing out here?

00:44:01.000 They're like, I wish you were smaller so I could eat you.

00:44:03.000 Yep.

00:44:03.000 Can't eat you yet, but if you fall down.

00:44:05.000 You fall down, it's on, dog.

00:44:05.000 I might break a leg.

00:44:07.000 But I was thinking, that's why I texted you when I got done today.

00:44:09.000 I'm like, I don't have anything, dude.

00:44:10.000 I don't have a knife.

00:44:11.000 I don't have anything.

00:44:14.000 It'd be a problem.

00:44:16.000 With a rattlesnake, I don't know what the fuck you need.

00:44:18.000 It's just, you know, it is what it is.

00:44:20.000 Well, with a rattlesnake, most of the time, you just got to get out of the way of them.

00:44:23.000 They're not interested in you.

00:44:24.000 And a coyote's not interested in you either.

00:44:26.000 But a mountain lion might be.

00:44:27.000 See, and where I went today, there's pictures of mountain lions.

00:44:31.000 Pictures?

00:44:32.000 Like warnings.

00:44:33.000 Oh.

00:44:33.000 Yeah.

00:44:34.000 That'll give you the heebie-jeebies.

00:44:36.000 Saw a bobcat.

00:44:37.000 I see a bobcat probably once every ten rides.

00:44:39.000 They're weird looking, aren't they?

00:44:41.000 Their feet are fucking fat.

00:44:44.000 It's like they're wearing Uggs.

00:44:46.000 They got Uggs on.

00:44:47.000 And they just hang on the tree and stare at me.

00:44:49.000 They're weird.

00:44:50.000 Remember when I told you I'd fuck a bobcat up?

00:44:53.000 I regret that.

00:44:54.000 Because when I saw it, I'm like, well, here's your chance.

00:44:56.000 They're pretty big.

00:44:57.000 Yeah, they're pretty big.

00:44:58.000 They're pretty big and ferocious.

00:44:59.000 It would be a problem for sure.

00:45:00.000 Yeah.

00:45:01.000 And plus, who knows what kind of fucked up diseases they have inside their mouth.

00:45:05.000 But even a house cat, like, I mean, you get fucked with a house, even those cats fuck you up.

00:45:09.000 Yeah.

00:45:10.000 A house cat that wants to kill you, that's a real problem.

00:45:12.000 A bobcat?

00:45:13.000 Think of a rat.

00:45:14.000 Like a rat wanted to kill you.

00:45:16.000 Like a five pound rat.

00:45:17.000 Like a big ass New York City rat.

00:45:19.000 Problems.

00:45:19.000 That'd be terrifying.

00:45:20.000 Terrible.

00:45:21.000 A bobcat is literally like 20 times bigger than that.

00:45:24.000 Problems.

00:45:25.000 I talk all this shit about nature until I run into it.

00:45:28.000 When I saw a bobcat, I was like, dude, talking all that shit.

00:45:30.000 What does a bobcat weigh?

00:45:33.000 It's not even 10 times bigger than a 5 pound rat, but rats don't really get to be 5 pounds.

00:45:38.000 Oh, I'm sure.

00:45:39.000 Some of those New York rats that eat good.

00:45:41.000 5 pounds is pretty big.

00:45:42.000 15, 20 pounds or so.

00:45:43.000 That's what it says for a bobcat?

00:45:44.000 It says 19 pounds, so.

00:45:45.000 Yeah.

00:45:46.000 Yeah, I had a bobcat in my backyard.

00:45:48.000 Problem.

00:45:49.000 Yeah, they're gross.

00:45:50.000 Those little fucks.

00:45:52.000 But coyotes don't fuck with people, right?

00:45:53.000 They will.

00:45:54.000 Coyotes killed a girl in Canada a few years back, a 19-year-old lady.

00:45:59.000 She was a promising folk singer, and she was wandering around the woods, and the coyotes found her by herself, and they ate her.

00:46:05.000 Circled around her?

00:46:06.000 Yeah, they killed her.

00:46:07.000 That's a terrible way to die, too, a really bad way to die.

00:46:13.000 God, that'd be a bummer.

00:46:14.000 I don't think coyotes are going to fuck me.

00:46:16.000 Like, he's too big.

00:46:17.000 I'll use the bike as a weapon.

00:46:19.000 I would hope so.

00:46:20.000 Yeah.

00:46:21.000 I would hope so.

00:46:23.000 I don't know.

00:46:24.000 You nervous at all about going to the UFC this weekend?

00:46:27.000 No.

00:46:27.000 Not at all?

00:46:28.000 No.

00:46:29.000 I'm nervous about how weird people are going to be.

00:46:32.000 People are going to be acting real strange.

00:46:34.000 I hate people.

00:46:37.000 COVID's made me hate people.

00:46:38.000 Yeah, I'm not worried about the actual disease.

00:46:43.000 I'm worried about people.

00:46:44.000 People, yeah.

00:46:45.000 I'm worried about people freaking out.

00:46:46.000 Like, where I get my coffee at 10 speed, this guy, I'm not even trying to be funny, probably 400 pounds, 6 foot, just so out of shape.

00:46:53.000 He works security there.

00:46:54.000 He's like, you ain't come in without a mask.

00:46:56.000 I'm like, there's no line, there's no one in there.

00:46:59.000 I'm like, homeboy.

00:47:01.000 That mask ain't gonna be the thing that gets you, dude.

00:47:03.000 It's your fucking cholesterol.

00:47:05.000 Leave me alone, man.

00:47:07.000 Trust me, I'm probably gonna outlive you, my man.

00:47:09.000 Can't come here without a mask.

00:47:11.000 What the fuck, man?

00:47:14.000 What the fuck?

00:47:17.000 I think you're gonna be fine in Florida.

00:47:19.000 Well, Jacksonville is a weird place.

00:47:22.000 I've never been to Jacksonville.

00:47:23.000 I've been to Jacksonville.

00:47:24.000 What's it like?

00:47:26.000 It's not that crowded.

00:47:28.000 It's not like a big, you know.

00:47:30.000 It's more country, right?

00:47:31.000 It's pretty country, pretty laid back.

00:47:32.000 Tim Tebow is from there.

00:47:33.000 I used to do this golf tournament there every year.

00:47:36.000 Oh, really?

00:47:36.000 It's nice down there.

00:47:37.000 It's super laid back.

00:47:40.000 I don't want to do comedy out there.

00:47:42.000 Well, they're the first people that say, fuck it, let's do it.

00:47:45.000 All of Florida did, though, right?

00:47:46.000 I think so.

00:47:47.000 I think Florida's basically opened up for everything.

00:47:49.000 Missouri's opened up for concerts.

00:47:50.000 Most of it, I think, they didn't open up where Miami and Palm Beach are.

00:47:55.000 There's three counties down there.

00:47:56.000 They will, though.

00:47:58.000 Dude, I'm getting so many offers for clubs.

00:48:00.000 Really?

00:48:01.000 In June.

00:48:02.000 So clubs are about to open up again.

00:48:04.000 Huntsville, Wise Guys, Salt Lake, Nashville, Spokane.

00:48:09.000 All these clubs are starting to come about.

00:48:11.000 Good.

00:48:12.000 I love it.

00:48:13.000 I mean, I don't know what's going to happen.

00:48:14.000 When's the store open?

00:48:16.000 Consider it a...

00:48:16.000 Me and Jamie were talking about this.

00:48:17.000 Probably consider it a restaurant, right?

00:48:19.000 No.

00:48:19.000 Because there's one guy on stage.

00:48:20.000 Why not?

00:48:20.000 It's a live show.

00:48:22.000 It's a theater.

00:48:23.000 No, that's not a theater.

00:48:24.000 Or some kind of a live show.

00:48:26.000 It'd be more...

00:48:27.000 Wouldn't it be labeled a restaurant more than anything?

00:48:29.000 Well, there's fucking hundreds of people.

00:48:33.000 It's not...

00:48:33.000 They've got a kitchen.

00:48:34.000 They serve food.

00:48:35.000 Yeah.

00:48:36.000 Drinks.

00:48:37.000 That's their main...

00:48:37.000 Because, you know...

00:48:38.000 Servers.

00:48:39.000 Yeah.

00:48:40.000 And just sitting people at tables and you have one guy, you know...

00:48:43.000 Yeah.

00:48:46.000 Because restaurants should open up in phase three?

00:48:50.000 Probably at a certain capacity, but yeah, they're opening up way before some other stuff.

00:48:54.000 Oh, that's the thing.

00:48:54.000 These clubs I've been talking about, they're all not at full capacity.

00:48:57.000 It's all less.

00:48:59.000 So that's what's going to happen at these clubs?

00:49:00.000 So you get a reduced rate?

00:49:02.000 Yep.

00:49:03.000 Interesting.

00:49:04.000 So 50% less people?

00:49:06.000 I know Wise Guys opened up.

00:49:08.000 They had an open mic night, and I think it was 150 people.

00:49:11.000 They already opened?

00:49:12.000 I'm pretty sure they did their open mic.

00:49:14.000 Really?

00:49:14.000 Yeah.

00:49:15.000 Yeah, Utah, I know.

00:49:17.000 I looked at some of the restaurants in Utah.

00:49:19.000 Park City, still not open, but Salt Lake City has some restaurants are open, but most of them are open just for takeout.

00:49:28.000 Actually, Wiseguys has what they're doing.

00:49:31.000 He says they are open.

00:49:33.000 65% capacity.

00:49:34.000 That's not bad.

00:49:36.000 Hey, that's better than nothing.

00:49:39.000 Customers will be asked to keep a minimum of six feet between groups.

00:49:42.000 And while waiting in line, all customers will be seated.

00:49:45.000 By the way, we're all touching the same shit, breathing the same air.

00:49:49.000 It's all crazy.

00:49:50.000 Dude, I'll do the meet and grin spoke and lick everybody's face.

00:49:53.000 Hand sanitizer stations are located at club entrances and at the front desk.

00:49:57.000 All high-touch surfaces, including but not limited to tables, chairs, menus, doorknobs, faucets, bathrooms, and more have been sanitized and will continue to be disinfected after every show.

00:50:07.000 Oh, I love this.

00:50:08.000 Customers are not required to wear a mask.

00:50:11.000 Good.

00:50:11.000 I don't want to do a show with everybody wearing a mask.

00:50:12.000 Yeah, fuck that.

00:50:13.000 Be awful.

00:50:14.000 Dude, I'll start doing shows other places.

00:50:16.000 I'll go to fucking Utah.

00:50:18.000 100%.

00:50:18.000 We should go down there.

00:50:19.000 I'm happy to go down there.

00:50:21.000 I mean, I don't know what I'm doing.

00:50:22.000 I have so many gigs that are booked.

00:50:24.000 Chappelle and I, we're supposed to be doing arenas in September.

00:50:30.000 I don't know if that's going to happen.

00:50:32.000 Here we are in May.

00:50:32.000 It's going to be close.

00:50:34.000 The problem is the ticket sales.

00:50:36.000 It's already sold out.

00:50:38.000 So it's not a problem.

00:50:40.000 You're going to be close.

00:50:41.000 I think you're going to be close.

00:50:42.000 Because you see the NFL, I think, released scheduled...

00:50:44.000 Is it tonight, Jamie?

00:50:45.000 You know what they changed?

00:50:47.000 Nothing.

00:50:48.000 Really?

00:50:49.000 Yeah, NFL went, suck this dick.

00:50:50.000 Full arenas?

00:50:51.000 Yeah.

00:50:51.000 I don't know.

00:50:52.000 They haven't said anything about attendance, but as far as scheduling goes, everything's...

00:50:56.000 Now, what the fuck are they going to do here in LA? Because our governor...

00:51:00.000 Governor sucks.

00:51:01.000 He's not...

00:51:02.000 He's safety first.

00:51:05.000 Yeah, but you're getting where people aren't putting up with and he has to change, right?

00:51:09.000 People are freaking out about him.

00:51:10.000 It's not good for him politically.

00:51:11.000 They protest at his house.

00:51:12.000 Oh, he's fucked.

00:51:13.000 He won't win again.

00:51:13.000 They protest at his house?

00:51:14.000 Yeah, they showed up at his house.

00:51:15.000 Really?

00:51:16.000 Oh, yeah.

00:51:17.000 That's like the beach thing.

00:51:18.000 I'm like, dude, I'm telling these people I ain't gonna put up with these beaches.

00:51:20.000 There's a big thing that's happening.

00:51:22.000 When is it?

00:51:22.000 The 9th?

00:51:23.000 When is the 9th?

00:51:24.000 What's today?

00:51:24.000 Saturday.

00:51:25.000 Saturday there's a big, big sort of demonstration that's planned, right?

00:51:31.000 Isn't it?

00:51:31.000 I don't know.

00:51:34.000 It's always weird.

00:51:36.000 I mean, we are opening up.

00:51:38.000 Like, I had an argument with my dad about COVID, and he's like, I don't know why you're crying.

00:51:41.000 We're opening back up.

00:51:42.000 I was like, I know, but not quick enough, dude.

00:51:44.000 Not quick enough.

00:51:45.000 Not quick enough.

00:51:46.000 Yeah.

00:51:50.000 What they should do is quarantine the people that are at high risk at this point.

00:51:54.000 You don't have to quarantine the whole country anymore.

00:51:56.000 But when Newsom goes so far left and he's like, here we are, man, he can't dial it back.

00:52:01.000 He has to be forced to dial it back because otherwise he looks like an asshole.

00:52:04.000 So now you're talking about ego.

00:52:06.000 Dude, give it up.

00:52:07.000 Yeah, it's hard to change paths once you've already committed to a certain path.

00:52:14.000 It's a bummer.

00:52:15.000 It's just a bummer.

00:52:16.000 We're almost through it.

00:52:17.000 Listen, the one positive of this quarantine is we've all kind of got to relax.

00:52:22.000 When you have stand-up, you have shows, you have all this thing going on, we're moving on a million times an hour.

00:52:27.000 I've got so much time with my kids, started a bike club.

00:52:31.000 I like rattlesnakes now.

00:52:33.000 I've lost weight.

00:52:35.000 I've really enjoyed not going on the road.

00:52:37.000 I've enjoyed that a lot.

00:52:38.000 I've just enjoyed going, and they forced me to shut everything down.

00:52:42.000 Yeah, I've really enjoyed the not flying.

00:52:45.000 I've enjoyed that a lot.

00:52:46.000 Flying can fuck you up, man.

00:52:47.000 It's not good for your body, man.

00:52:49.000 You know, I had Jessie Mae in here last week, and she was saying the same thing.

00:52:52.000 She was like, I can't believe how good I feel.

00:52:54.000 Yes, I feel great.

00:52:55.000 Best I've ever felt.

00:52:57.000 We're killing ourselves!

00:52:58.000 Yeah.

00:52:59.000 But I missed the fuck out of it.

00:53:01.000 I missed the road, man.

00:53:02.000 Yeah.

00:53:03.000 Oh, I miss the shows.

00:53:05.000 I miss the store.

00:53:06.000 I miss performing.

00:53:07.000 I definitely miss writing new material.

00:53:10.000 I haven't written a goddamn thing.

00:53:12.000 I haven't written any stand-up.

00:53:13.000 It's tough, dude.

00:53:14.000 It's tough to feel creative during this lockdown, man.

00:53:17.000 There's other shit going on.

00:53:18.000 You can write.

00:53:19.000 I could have written.

00:53:21.000 I just decided not to.

00:53:22.000 I decided I'm just going to do podcasts and work out a lot.

00:53:26.000 How many years have you wrote?

00:53:28.000 Non-stop.

00:53:30.000 You ever thought maybe this forced break is good for everybody, man?

00:53:34.000 It's good for me.

00:53:35.000 You can make it good for you.

00:53:36.000 You can decide it's bad or decide it's good.

00:53:38.000 But the other thing that I decided is I want to see how I feel about this organically.

00:53:44.000 Instead of trying to make comedy out of it right away, I just want to see what my real feelings are about this.

00:53:51.000 Let it seep in.

00:53:54.000 Once I've got a handle on how I feel about it, what my take is, then do some writing.

00:54:01.000 What's done for me is I feel great, I feel better, started a bike club, lost weight, but the other thing is I've paid more attention to politics because it's never really affected me.

00:54:12.000 These guys are fucking all con artists.

00:54:14.000 But then when they lock down your lifestyle, it's like, all right, what are we doing here, man?

00:54:18.000 Then you're starting to look into things like, holy shit, dude.

00:54:21.000 We went over the list with Hinchcliffe yesterday.

00:54:23.000 We went over the list of all things the governor has approved for outdoor activities, and it's so condescending.

00:54:30.000 It's so ridiculous and so fucking stupid.

00:54:32.000 This is a long list of things you can and can't do.

00:54:35.000 It's so stupid.

00:54:37.000 It's nuts.

00:54:38.000 Yeah.

00:54:39.000 It also shows you how little power governors have, too.

00:54:41.000 Yeah, well, also it shows you how they like that power.

00:54:45.000 They like it.

00:54:46.000 Oh, you don't run for governor because you don't.

00:54:47.000 I'm going to tell you what to do.

00:54:48.000 They're not saying, hey, keep six feet apart from each other and use social distancing guidelines and be safe.

00:54:55.000 They're not saying that.

00:54:56.000 They're saying, here's the things you can do.

00:54:58.000 You can enjoy the sunrise and the sunset.

00:55:00.000 Crazy.

00:55:00.000 You can enjoy yoga.

00:55:02.000 You can enjoy bike riding.

00:55:03.000 You can enjoy golf, but no carts.

00:55:06.000 It says no carts.

00:55:08.000 Well, it's like people got upset because they posted that the city of Venice filled the skate park with sand because they wanted kids to stop skating.

00:55:16.000 And I put, this is lame as fuck.

00:55:17.000 And I had all these comments.

00:55:19.000 They're like, no, it's not.

00:55:20.000 I'm like, have you ever looked at the mortality rate of young kids?

00:55:23.000 Zero.

00:55:24.000 It's zero.

00:55:25.000 And you're taking away their happiness?

00:55:26.000 What about mental health?

00:55:27.000 Has anybody thought about mental health and going outside and what that does for those kids?

00:55:31.000 What about that?

00:55:32.000 Well, they're worried that the kids are going to get it and they're going to give it to the grandma or dad or someone's going to get sick.

00:55:38.000 But you can't mandate good behavior.

00:55:42.000 You can't tell people that you need to be smart in terms of infectious diseases.

00:55:47.000 It doesn't work that way.

00:55:48.000 Give me a guideline.

00:55:49.000 Say this is what's probably best and then let the people of America decide.

00:55:53.000 Yeah, once they've figured it out.

00:55:55.000 People know what to do and what not to do.

00:55:57.000 You're going to allow people to make all these bad choices no matter what.

00:56:00.000 You're going to allow people to drink.

00:56:01.000 You're allowing people to smoke.

00:56:02.000 You're allowing people to take prescription medication.

00:56:06.000 They're killing themselves left and right doing all kinds of other different things.

00:56:09.000 How many people die every year in America?

00:56:11.000 You ever look that up?

00:56:13.000 It's nuts, man.

00:56:14.000 But we don't pay attention to that.

00:56:15.000 We just go, nah, that's just normal.

00:56:17.000 Well, we're willing to put up with that?

00:56:20.000 You know?

00:56:21.000 Well, the thing is about most of the decisions, like for cigarette smoke and car accidents, stuff like that, like you decide, right?

00:56:28.000 You decide to drink, you decide to smoke, you decide to drive your car, and this is, it's not contagious.

00:56:33.000 This is contagious.

00:56:35.000 The worry is that you're giving it to people that it's not their choice to get it, you know?

00:56:41.000 Old people in particular.

00:56:42.000 Stay away from old people, man.

00:56:44.000 But it's the same thing with the flu, right?

00:56:46.000 Any of it.

00:56:47.000 All of it, yeah.

00:56:50.000 I don't know.

00:56:50.000 The real problem is if they start doing this for the flu.

00:56:53.000 This is a bad flu season, so we're going to institute social distancing.

00:56:57.000 I'll fucking move.

00:56:58.000 I will.

00:56:59.000 I'll be like, Utah, here I come.

00:57:01.000 Yeah, I'm at that point.

00:57:02.000 If it got worse, if we were going to start opening up, I was at that point.

00:57:05.000 I was talking to the fam about maybe doing something.

00:57:08.000 Where would you go?

00:57:11.000 Colorado's a good choice.

00:57:12.000 I'm from there, so I'd like something new.

00:57:14.000 I'd probably go to Texas.

00:57:15.000 Texas is a very good choice.

00:57:17.000 Texas, they don't give a fuck.

00:57:19.000 They're free.

00:57:19.000 I talked to Adam Curry.

00:57:21.000 He's already eating dinner in restaurants.

00:57:23.000 Yeah, Theo said he went to St. George, Utah this past weekend.

00:57:26.000 He's like, man, I went to a restaurant.

00:57:28.000 He's like, that place was a shithole, but best restaurant I ever ate at.

00:57:32.000 Yeah.

00:57:33.000 Man, what is that going to be like, eating in a restaurant again?

00:57:36.000 But meanwhile, your server's going to be wearing a mask.

00:57:39.000 You're like, what the fuck?

00:57:41.000 You know, what the fuck?

00:57:44.000 Are you smiling at that?

00:57:45.000 Fuck, dude.

00:57:46.000 Can't even tell if they're smiling.

00:57:48.000 Hopefully not.

00:57:49.000 Hopefully people read the actual statistics and everyone kind of learns from this.

00:57:53.000 The problem is they're already committed to this doom scenario.

00:57:57.000 You know?

00:57:58.000 Millions of people are going to die.

00:58:00.000 Well, millions of people are going to die, period.

00:58:02.000 Are millions of people going to die from this disease?

00:58:04.000 I don't know if that's true.

00:58:08.000 Elon Musk says it's not true.

00:58:09.000 Listen to Elon.

00:58:10.000 I know eight people who've gotten it.

00:58:11.000 The worst was Michael Yeo.

00:58:13.000 But he came in sick, I thought.

00:58:14.000 Came in sick.

00:58:15.000 He did.

00:58:16.000 He had underlying health conditions.

00:58:17.000 And came in sick and was flying.

00:58:19.000 And he's half Asian.

00:58:21.000 I don't think that...

00:58:22.000 No, he's Asian.

00:58:23.000 But I don't think that matters.

00:58:24.000 Okay.

00:58:27.000 Just playing.

00:58:28.000 Just playing.

00:58:29.000 What the?

00:58:30.000 He's coming here on Monday.

00:58:31.000 Is he?

00:58:31.000 Yeah.

00:58:32.000 To talk about it?

00:58:32.000 I'm going to put him in a plastic bubble and sit him in the corner.

00:58:35.000 You can get him tested before he comes in?

00:58:37.000 Fuck yeah.

00:58:37.000 Three times.

00:58:38.000 Hell yeah, at least.

00:58:39.000 Make him wear a mask.

00:58:40.000 Oh yeah, he's got to wear a mask.

00:58:41.000 Hell yeah.

00:58:42.000 Gloves too.

00:58:43.000 Oven mitts.

00:58:43.000 He's fine though.

00:58:44.000 Look at him thriving.

00:58:46.000 He actually got tested three days ago.

00:58:47.000 He said he's fine.

00:58:49.000 Sturgill Simpson, he caught it.

00:58:51.000 He was fine.

00:58:52.000 He just said fatigue.

00:58:53.000 Felt a little fatigued.

00:58:54.000 The entire Utah Jazz team got it?

00:58:55.000 Nothing.

00:58:57.000 Asymptomatic.

00:58:57.000 They were pissed.

00:58:58.000 Of course, they're fucking super athletes.

00:59:00.000 You think that shit has a chance in the body of a super athlete?

00:59:03.000 Do you think that shit has a chance of every UFC fighter on the card this weekend?

00:59:06.000 Yes.

00:59:07.000 Well, I want to know how many jiu-jitsu guys are getting it.

00:59:10.000 You want to talk about people that are constantly being exposed to other people's funk?

00:59:14.000 Non-stop.

00:59:15.000 Yeah, non-stop.

00:59:16.000 You're rolling with five, six people a day.

00:59:18.000 Everybody's in a room together, sweating like crazy.

00:59:20.000 You're literally rolling in puddles of other people's sweat.

00:59:24.000 The immune systems that you must have from doing jiu-jitsu must be off the charts.

00:59:27.000 What phase is gyms?

00:59:29.000 Is that phase three?

00:59:30.000 These phases are lame as fuck.

00:59:32.000 Is it phase three?

00:59:33.000 Yes, phase three.

00:59:35.000 So that's when they can open up.

00:59:36.000 Yeah, but even when they can open up, can a jujitsu gym open up?

00:59:39.000 A regular gym, they're going to spray down the surfaces.

00:59:42.000 I mean, I think they're talking about spin glasses and shit.

00:59:45.000 I don't know if they're talking about jujitsu.

00:59:47.000 I don't think they're detailed enough.

00:59:48.000 I bet you jujitsu gyms open up.

00:59:50.000 God, I hope so.

00:59:51.000 Me too.

00:59:52.000 I hope so.

00:59:53.000 They will.

00:59:54.000 Oh, so weird.

00:59:56.000 And then the requirements for all the fighters this weekend.

00:59:59.000 Did you read the whole list?

01:00:00.000 Like, these poor guys.

01:00:01.000 Yeah, it's crazy.

01:00:02.000 It's crazy.

01:00:03.000 The requirements are nuts.

01:00:04.000 And the winner goes to another tunnel where the interview is secluded.

01:00:08.000 Yeah.

01:00:08.000 I wonder what kind of restaurants are going to be open in Jacksonville.

01:00:13.000 Room service.

01:00:14.000 Yeah, I don't even know if Jacksonville's restaurants are open yet.

01:00:17.000 Like, where are we going to be able to eat?

01:00:20.000 I'm in and out, man.

01:00:22.000 I'm getting there Saturday morning and I leave Sunday morning.

01:00:26.000 There's no weigh-ins.

01:00:27.000 No weigh-ins.

01:00:29.000 No public weigh-ins.

01:00:30.000 I mean, the whole deal is just, weigh-ins are supposed to be public anyway.

01:00:32.000 The only time I'm there is to do it on ESPN, and I'm there for the presentation, and I announce the fighter's weights, and interview the people in the main event, co-main event.

01:00:44.000 How cool would it be if Florida was like, hey, we're going to open it up.

01:00:47.000 If you want to go, you're at risk.

01:00:48.000 Sign this document.

01:00:49.000 Oh, it'd be great.

01:00:50.000 Sold out, I bet.

01:00:51.000 Oh, yeah, for sure.

01:00:52.000 Dude, it would be sold out.

01:00:54.000 I want people to buy this pay-per-view, man.

01:00:57.000 Oh, they're gonna buy it.

01:00:58.000 It's gonna be huge.

01:00:59.000 I hope.

01:00:59.000 It's gonna be giant.

01:01:00.000 I hope.

01:01:01.000 It's gonna be giant.

01:01:02.000 I guarantee you people are so looking for something to do.

01:01:04.000 Even with the economy down like this?

01:01:06.000 Yes!

01:01:06.000 30 million people out of jobs?

01:01:07.000 There's so many people...

01:01:08.000 Look, there's so many people that are out of jobs, that's a fact, but people have some money and they need some fucking form of entertainment.

01:01:15.000 They need something.

01:01:17.000 UFC is going to get people together too because people watch UFC with their crew.

01:01:21.000 Yeah.

01:01:21.000 So it's like, okay, dude, are you really that scared of COVID? I get the fight.

01:01:24.000 All right, coming over.

01:01:25.000 I'm going to order pizza and then everybody's going to get together.

01:01:27.000 Can you imagine watching fucking the fights with your boy and he's wearing a mask?

01:01:31.000 Dude, my producer, Chen, I go, are you watching the fights?

01:01:33.000 He goes, yeah, me and my buddies are going to Zoom it.

01:01:36.000 We're all going to watch it and get Zoom on it.

01:01:38.000 Don't talk to me for the rest of the day.

01:01:39.000 Oh god, they're gonna zoom together?

01:01:41.000 Goddammit, Sean.

01:01:42.000 I hope they get zoom bombed by some fucking asshole.

01:01:45.000 Yeah, I hope someone fucking gives you a virus through the zoom, dude.

01:01:49.000 You deserve it.

01:01:49.000 Those zoom bombers, people that are having zoom meetings, they find it and they just, fuck you, fuck you, suck my cat.

01:01:58.000 It's like a serious meeting.

01:01:59.000 People need to grow up, man.

01:02:01.000 Pull their pants down, put their asshole in front of the webcam.

01:02:04.000 Bored as fuck.

01:02:06.000 It's going to be real weird over the next six months when you see the economy because, you know, the way a friend of mine put it, he goes, there's so many people that are out of work right now and they don't even know it yet because their business is not going to be able to survive.

01:02:18.000 Whatever they're in, whatever they do in small businesses, they think at the high end we might lose as many as 40% of all small businesses.

01:02:26.000 That's insane.

01:02:27.000 And for what?

01:02:29.000 For what?

01:02:29.000 When we look back on it, for what, man?

01:02:31.000 Well, I wonder overall what the death rate's going to be when it comes to suicide, depression.

01:02:39.000 A starving hunger.

01:02:40.000 One in five kids are starving.

01:02:42.000 One in five right now, I just read.

01:02:44.000 Where?

01:02:44.000 In America.

01:02:46.000 One in five are starving.

01:02:47.000 One in five.

01:02:48.000 Look that shit up, Jamie.

01:02:49.000 One in five.

01:02:50.000 When there's a depression, one in five.

01:02:55.000 Jesus Christ.

01:02:55.000 Domestic violence is up.

01:02:57.000 Suicide will be up.

01:02:58.000 Swartzen told me he was talking to the sheriff, and the sheriff said they usually deal with about one suicide a week, and now they're dealing with five a day.

01:03:05.000 No one's saying this, yeah, but let's keep the old healthy, man.

01:03:08.000 Let's stay quarantined.

01:03:10.000 It's like you have no idea the ramifications.

01:03:12.000 This is awful, man.

01:03:13.000 I wonder how this is going to affect the governor politically.

01:03:17.000 Newsom?

01:03:18.000 Yeah, I really wonder.

01:03:20.000 Everybody wants to piss down his throat.

01:03:22.000 Even Democrats.

01:03:23.000 Really?

01:03:24.000 Yeah.

01:03:24.000 Are you sure?

01:03:26.000 No, I don't know that.

01:03:27.000 I think his poll numbers are actually high.

01:03:30.000 It was one in seven before this.

01:03:32.000 One in seven?

01:03:34.000 Kids are starving?

01:03:35.000 One in seven before this shit hit.

01:03:37.000 And a fair amount of them were getting food at school.

01:03:41.000 That's the thing.

01:03:41.000 School programs.

01:03:42.000 They lost their ability to eat meals.

01:03:44.000 They have found ways to...

01:03:46.000 New programs that have started to get a little bit of food.

01:03:48.000 But yeah, that was their whole day.

01:03:50.000 That was their childcare.

01:03:51.000 And if you're a mom with little kids, toddlers, your break, your fucking grace for the day is those kids going to school or going to daycare.

01:03:59.000 When you don't have that...

01:04:01.000 Dude, you know how it is with little kids?

01:04:03.000 Right, now what happens to those moms if they're single moms and their kids are at home and they have to go to work still?

01:04:09.000 Most of them don't.

01:04:10.000 They're out of job too, but they're stuck with the kids.

01:04:13.000 And everyone's just going fucking crazy.

01:04:15.000 What do they do if they don't?

01:04:16.000 They're not out of work.

01:04:17.000 Who knows?

01:04:18.000 If they have to work and the kids can't go to school because school's locked down.

01:04:20.000 Newsom doesn't care about that, man.

01:04:22.000 Let's make sure that the old people are okay, the economy goes to shit.

01:04:26.000 Do you think that's his perspective or do you think he's looking at it politically?

01:04:29.000 I think he's looking at it politically and if they can ruin the economy and that's what Trump's known for, then it's going to give Biden a better chance.

01:04:36.000 Hot take.

01:04:37.000 Two-term Trump.

01:04:38.000 Just kidding.

01:04:39.000 I was looking at this article where this woman said that I believe Tara Reid, the woman that says that Biden sexually assaulted her and I'm voting for Biden anyway.

01:04:48.000 Just to get Trump out of office.

01:04:50.000 I saw that crazy bitch.

01:04:52.000 How crazy is that?

01:04:53.000 Then how about Biden comes out and was like, we got to believe these victims and when I become president, I'm going to change the law.

01:05:00.000 They should be heard.

01:05:02.000 Huh?

01:05:03.000 What the fuck are you talking about, dude?

01:05:05.000 It's all horse shit.

01:05:06.000 It's crazy.

01:05:07.000 They're all full of shit.

01:05:08.000 All of them.

01:05:09.000 It's just some weird ideological battleground.

01:05:13.000 And Trump's not doing a good job either.

01:05:14.000 It's hard to defend him.

01:05:16.000 He's so worked up about all this stupid shit and telling the media he was being sarcastic so that they reported that he said, you know, I really didn't mean inject Lysol and disinfectant.

01:05:30.000 It's all nonsense, man.

01:05:32.000 When you look at all these politics, you're like, oh, this is all a bunch of nonsense.

01:05:37.000 I know, but to see how combative he is with people in the press, it's so silly.

01:05:40.000 It's such a waste of time and energy, and it makes him look so bad.

01:05:46.000 But that lady, that new press secretary, she's a fucking gangster.

01:05:49.000 When you sent me that video, dude.

01:05:51.000 She's a gangster.

01:05:52.000 Have you seen that video, Jamie?

01:05:52.000 You've never seen someone more prepared for a question in your life, Jamie.

01:05:56.000 Have you seen that?

01:05:57.000 You know what I'm talking about?

01:05:59.000 Small point on that.

01:06:00.000 Not the big point, but small point.

01:06:02.000 She was so prepared for this.

01:06:03.000 That's what I'm saying.

01:06:04.000 Well, she's supposed to be prepared.

01:06:05.000 That's why I said you've never seen someone more prepared for that specific question.

01:06:09.000 Yes, because they're prepared.

01:06:10.000 And you know why they're prepared?

01:06:12.000 Because they're trying to play gotcha.

01:06:13.000 So she played gotcha with them.

01:06:15.000 She checkmated them.

01:06:16.000 She came in there with that fucking Elon Musk flamethrower.

01:06:18.000 Play that video.

01:06:20.000 Play that video.

01:06:21.000 You're on the other side.

01:06:23.000 No, no, no, I was saying...

01:06:24.000 Oh, you're a Biden guy!

01:06:25.000 No, hey, listen, before everyone jumps in, I almost was saying that it almost seems like she was working with that reporter to say, hey, feed me this so I can shit on everybody.

01:06:34.000 Nah, that guy got...

01:06:35.000 That doesn't happen?

01:06:36.000 That guy was yelling.

01:06:37.000 He was like, no, you were ready for this.

01:06:39.000 Hold on, hold on, hold on.

01:06:39.000 What did you just say?

01:06:40.000 He served her up a softball so she could fucking fire off the machine gun.

01:06:44.000 No, no, no, he didn't.

01:06:46.000 That's not what he did at all.

01:06:47.000 That guy sucks.

01:06:48.000 He tried to play gotcha with her.

01:06:49.000 Do you want to take your word back?

01:06:50.000 Because she said that Trump is not going to let the coronavirus come into the country.

01:06:54.000 And what she's saying, the reason why they're shutting down travel from Asia is because they're worried about the coronavirus coming to the country, and Trump's not going to let that happen.

01:07:03.000 So they tried to take what she said and take it out of context, Frame it in a way.

01:07:10.000 Make her look bad.

01:07:11.000 While she was saying that Trump is not going to let the country get infected by the coronavirus.

01:07:14.000 What she's trying to say is that he's not going to have free travel where people have coronavirus because it's going to bring the virus in.

01:07:22.000 Not that it's the only way the virus is going to get here.

01:07:24.000 The virus got here anyway.

01:07:26.000 She came with the fire regardless, Jamie.

01:07:28.000 The guy said, are you going to take that back?

01:07:29.000 I didn't say she didn't.

01:07:31.000 First of all, it's a douchey question.

01:07:33.000 All those journalists are kind of douchebags in the first place.

01:07:36.000 They're trying so hard to have these moments where they fucking play got ya.

01:07:43.000 But when do these journalists quit being journalists and become like fucking trolls off Reddit?

01:07:47.000 Like some of their questions to Trump, that's why Trump goes so hard in the paint on them.

01:07:51.000 I know, but he goes too hard.

01:07:52.000 He cares too much.

01:07:53.000 He cares too much.

01:07:54.000 He cares too much about what they think.

01:07:55.000 A lion should not be so concerned about the opinion of sheep.

01:07:59.000 Correct.

01:08:00.000 Creech.

01:08:00.000 It's not becoming of someone who's in such a powerful position.

01:08:05.000 You're the president, dude.

01:08:06.000 Yeah.

01:08:06.000 That guy's a fucking writer for Washington Post.

01:08:08.000 The way she handled it, though?

01:08:10.000 Oh, my God.

01:08:10.000 She just dropped a fuck.

01:08:12.000 It was sexy.

01:08:13.000 It was sexy.

01:08:14.000 Wildy Coyote with a TNT. Boom!

01:08:16.000 She's like, you ready?

01:08:17.000 You want to do it now?

01:08:19.000 Scoom!

01:08:19.000 Yeah, and then she had a big smile and walked off as they're trying to say, and he's like, you prepared for that?

01:08:24.000 Yeah, she went, thank you, have a good day.

01:08:26.000 Oh, gee, you think she prepared for it with all those stats that she read right in front of you?

01:08:30.000 Dude, they need to hire your boy Elon Musk to get on that fucking committee.

01:08:33.000 Where's the video, pal?

01:08:34.000 The first thing I have didn't have the video link, so I'm looking for it.

01:08:36.000 I retweeted it.

01:08:37.000 He's holding on to it.

01:08:38.000 He doesn't want to give it to us.

01:08:40.000 Oh, Jesus Christ.

01:08:41.000 Jamie doesn't want us to know.

01:08:46.000 I get shit because of this.

01:08:48.000 I'm in the middle of doing five things and switching the cameras between you and talking.

01:08:52.000 We're just playing.

01:08:55.000 No one online thinks you guys are playing.

01:08:57.000 People online, I love Jamie Vernon and we're just playing.

01:09:01.000 However, I do know that he's on the wrong side.

01:09:05.000 He's on the side of the bad guys.

01:09:08.000 That'll be fun for you, Jamie.

01:09:09.000 Let me go to the fight companion.

01:09:12.000 Oh, here it is.

01:09:14.000 Here, play this.

01:09:15.000 Hold on.

01:09:16.000 Full page and make it loud.

01:09:18.000 President Trump will not allow the coronavirus to come to this country.

01:09:22.000 Given what has happened since then, obviously, would you like to take that back?

01:09:27.000 Well first let me note I was asked a question on Fox Business about the president's travel restrictions.

01:09:34.000 I noted what was the intent behind those travel restrictions which is we will not see the coronavirus come here, we will not see terrorism come here, referring to an earlier set of travel restrictions.

01:09:44.000 I guess I would turn the question back on the media and ask similar questions.

01:09:48.000 Does Vox want to take back that they proclaim that the coronavirus would not be a deadly pandemic?

01:09:53.000 Does the Washington Post want to take back That they told Americans to get a grip the flu is bigger than the coronavirus?

01:09:59.000 Does the Washington Post likewise want to take back that our brains are causing us to exaggerate the threat of the coronavirus?

01:10:06.000 Does the New York Times want to take back that fear of the virus may be spreading faster than the virus itself?

01:10:13.000 Does NPR want to take back that the flu was a much bigger threat than the coronavirus?

01:10:17.000 And finally, once again, the Washington Post, would they like to take back that the government should not respond aggressively to the coronavirus?

01:10:24.000 I'll leave you with those questions and maybe you'll have some answers in a few days.

01:10:27.000 Thank you very much.

01:10:32.000 Drink that shit in, Jamie.

01:10:33.000 Drink it in.

01:10:34.000 You were prepared for that.

01:10:36.000 Like you with your practice bullshit question?

01:10:40.000 Imagine you have one opportunity to ask her a question and that's what you ask her.

01:10:47.000 But then you get lit the fuck up.

01:10:49.000 You got lit up.

01:10:54.000 And then you get out of there and everyone's like, damn, that was crazy.

01:10:56.000 Yeah, you got served.

01:10:58.000 You got fucked up.

01:10:59.000 Yeah, he got served.

01:11:00.000 I want Dana.

01:11:02.000 Look at Jamie.

01:11:04.000 Asking a question.

01:11:05.000 I'm throwing it out there.

01:11:06.000 You guys can say that's not it, but I'm just asking a question.

01:11:08.000 Go ahead.

01:11:08.000 Ask a question.

01:11:09.000 That was it.

01:11:10.000 You think it was a softball?

01:11:11.000 No, he's a cunt.

01:11:12.000 I don't know who the guy is.

01:11:14.000 I'm just asking.

01:11:14.000 I don't know who the guy is either.

01:11:15.000 What he was doing like that is a cunty question.

01:11:18.000 I don't know if he's a cunt.

01:11:19.000 Maybe he's a really nice guy.

01:11:20.000 You can look at his face though.

01:11:21.000 That's his job.

01:11:22.000 His job is to try to get attention and get some gotcha.

01:11:25.000 So he played gotcha and he got caught.

01:11:28.000 He got smacked down.

01:11:29.000 In the game of politics, he might get one back in two months by helping her out now, and now they're going to be a little bit of friends because they definitely play both sides of the game.

01:11:37.000 Jamie's online way too much.

01:11:39.000 We'll keep an eye on it, Jamie.

01:11:40.000 Jamie's online way too much, dude.

01:11:42.000 This is that one YouTube video that everybody's sending me that says, you've got to look into this, about that lady who apparently worked for Fauci.

01:11:50.000 What do you know about that?

01:11:52.000 What I read is she didn't work for Fauci.

01:11:54.000 So she's a liar?

01:11:55.000 I'm not saying that, but that's what I'm doing.

01:11:57.000 What did you read and where did you read it?

01:11:58.000 Is there an article that you could pull up?

01:12:00.000 It's goddammit, ten fucking people.

01:12:02.000 You gotta look into this.

01:12:03.000 Seems pretty legit.

01:12:04.000 And what is it?

01:12:04.000 She used to work for Fauci?

01:12:06.000 I don't have the time to watch the whole thing.

01:12:07.000 The video keeps getting taken down.

01:12:08.000 Yeah, I watch a few minutes of it and then I try to click on the link 20 minutes later and it's taken down and a new one pops up.

01:12:14.000 YouTube keeps pulling it down.

01:12:16.000 God, Fauci, talk about a pussy.

01:12:19.000 Well, he...

01:12:21.000 Hey dude, come up with a...

01:12:22.000 Do you have any solutions?

01:12:24.000 Well, shut the world down for a couple years.

01:12:26.000 It's just doomsday all the time?

01:12:27.000 All you want to do is shut down everything nonstop?

01:12:29.000 I do got to say that Bill Gates seems really excited about vaccines.

01:12:33.000 And, you know, what I've heard from more than one person is that, first of all, I don't know if there's ever been a coronavirus vaccine.

01:12:42.000 I don't think there has been.

01:12:44.000 Mm-mm.

01:12:44.000 I don't think so.

01:12:45.000 And two, the other thing is they're saying that even if you get vaccinated for this, you might have to get vaccinated every year for it.

01:12:52.000 It might be something that returns every year in some new form and you have to get vaccinated again.

01:12:56.000 Jesus Christ.

01:12:57.000 And there's no indication so far that people who have antibodies are 100% immune to it.

01:13:06.000 Also, they found out, there was an article, see if you can find this.

01:13:11.000 Forget about that Fauci thing.

01:13:12.000 See if you can find this.

01:13:14.000 There was an article that said that they've determined that the people in Korea, at least, who tested negative for the coronavirus and then tested positive, that these were some...

01:13:25.000 I think the way I describe them is latent antibodies in their system, and that they're just such a small amount that even though they're testing positive, it's still from the initial infection and not some...

01:13:36.000 Oh, it's like residue in there?

01:13:37.000 Yeah.

01:13:37.000 It's not like a new infection.

01:13:39.000 Boy, did we fuck that up.

01:13:41.000 It doesn't sound like a doctor at all.

01:13:41.000 It says they're testing to see if they've been reactivated by being...

01:13:45.000 Being worn down or something?

01:13:47.000 No, being, like, re...

01:13:49.000 Infected?

01:13:50.000 Yeah.

01:13:50.000 I think it's funny, too, how, you know, like, Texas, Ohio, Atlanta, Utah, Denver, these cities opening up, and people are going, see, look what happens when we open up, more cases.

01:13:59.000 Like, no, dum-dums, we're testing more.

01:14:01.000 So, of course, there's going to be more cases.

01:14:03.000 Yeah, there's more cases.

01:14:04.000 All I care about is the mortality rate.

01:14:06.000 Look at the mortality rate.

01:14:06.000 You know how many were in Denver yesterday?

01:14:08.000 Zero.

01:14:09.000 Nobody died in Denver yesterday?

01:14:10.000 Nobody yesterday.

01:14:12.000 Well, Utah, or was it Montana?

01:14:14.000 Yeah, Montana's one death ever.

01:14:16.000 One death from COVID. We can take this operation to Utah or Montana.

01:14:22.000 Montana gets real cold, bro.

01:14:23.000 Yeah, I don't want to do cold.

01:14:25.000 Utah gets cold, too.

01:14:27.000 Yeah, Utah.

01:14:27.000 Texas, dude.

01:14:28.000 Texas does not get cold, but it gets hot.

01:14:30.000 I don't mind the hot.

01:14:31.000 But they got good food.

01:14:32.000 Great food.

01:14:33.000 Good people.

01:14:34.000 I like the accents.

01:14:34.000 Great clubs.

01:14:35.000 Yes, great place to work out.

01:14:37.000 The best.

01:14:38.000 Well, Salt Lake City, Wise Guys are some of the best clubs.

01:14:40.000 Don't they have three of them now?

01:14:42.000 No.

01:14:42.000 Wise Guys?

01:14:43.000 Yeah, they have at least two.

01:14:45.000 I only know of the one, the main one.

01:14:46.000 I think they have at least two.

01:14:48.000 Really?

01:14:48.000 Yeah.

01:14:48.000 I love Keith.

01:14:49.000 Yeah, Wise Guys is a great club.

01:14:51.000 He's one of my favorite people.

01:14:52.000 Yeah, that Salt Lake City club is fucking fantastic.

01:14:55.000 His brother, you'll like this, Jamie, his brother was the offense coordinator at Alabama.

01:14:59.000 Roll Tide.

01:15:00.000 Yeah, Roll Tide.

01:15:01.000 So I'll talk to him about football because he knows his shit, man.

01:15:04.000 He's such a good dude, man.

01:15:06.000 Such a good dude.

01:15:07.000 Yeah, that's an underrated place, Salt Lake City.

01:15:10.000 Real underrated.

01:15:11.000 The Mormons got everybody so scared of Salt Lake City.

01:15:13.000 You can go there at 5 o'clock in the afternoon.

01:15:15.000 There's no traffic.

01:15:16.000 That's great out there.

01:15:17.000 Then go to the Red Iguana, get that Mexican food.

01:15:19.000 That Red Iguana's good, bro.

01:15:21.000 That's my spot, dude.

01:15:22.000 Oh my god, you can get fat there easy.

01:15:24.000 It's so nice.

01:15:25.000 Real easy.

01:15:25.000 They got good shopping out there.

01:15:27.000 It's clean.

01:15:28.000 It's very nice.

01:15:29.000 Good hotels.

01:15:30.000 Yeah, very nice.

01:15:31.000 Yeah, I like it.

01:15:33.000 I like Utah, period.

01:15:34.000 Nice people.

01:15:36.000 I have a show end of June, which is almost sold out in Spokane, and I do meet and greets, and the club's like, no meet and greets.

01:15:45.000 Brennan's not going to meet with anyone because they worry about Corona.

01:15:47.000 I emailed my manager this morning and went, dude, I'm good to meet and greet, man.

01:15:52.000 I'm telling you I'm good.

01:15:54.000 I'm comfortable with that.

01:15:55.000 He's all, really?

01:15:56.000 The manager's freaked out?

01:15:57.000 Yeah, the club's freaked out.

01:15:59.000 I'm like, I'll sign a waiver, whatever you want, but I'm not going to go there and not meet people, dude.

01:16:05.000 Everyone's so scared.

01:16:06.000 When do you think it's going to be back to normal, where people won't be scared anymore?

01:16:10.000 Let the bitches suck on their thumb and hide, and the rest of us just go about our business, man.

01:16:17.000 I asked my dad about what it was like in polio in the 50s when they were growing up.

01:16:22.000 And that summer when people were getting tested, people were afraid to jump in pools because there's polio in that pool.

01:16:28.000 Don't get in there.

01:16:29.000 So it might last through the summer until...

01:16:31.000 Well, the worry is that it comes back in the fall.

01:16:34.000 And I don't totally understand this, when they're going to say it's going to die off in the heat and then come back when it gets cold again.

01:16:42.000 You mean like flu season?

01:16:43.000 Yeah.

01:16:43.000 You mean like your standard flu season?

01:16:44.000 Here's the other thing is we did the quarantine to really protect the old and those at risk, but also to make sure the hospitals can tolerate the mass of people coming in there with COVID.

01:16:55.000 Well, I think we've done a pretty good job of that.

01:16:57.000 And that's why we're opening up.

01:16:58.000 Those hospitals, a lot of them are shutting down.

01:17:00.000 They can't afford to stay open.

01:17:01.000 Isn't that crazy?

01:17:03.000 I mean, you-- Now, New York says, hold my mask.

01:17:06.000 New York says, hold my mask.

01:17:08.000 People are dying like crazy over here.

01:17:09.000 Some hospitals in New York, yeah.

01:17:10.000 But other than that, man, I have friends who are nurses, especially in Texas and L.A., and they're like...

01:17:16.000 People are scared to come in here now because they think they're going to get COVID here.

01:17:19.000 It's so weird.

01:17:20.000 The whole thing's a fucking...

01:17:21.000 It's like we're living in a real shitty Black Mirror episode.

01:17:25.000 It's like the most boringest episode of all time.

01:17:27.000 Well, the guy from Black Mirror says he's not even going to have a season this year because he can't.

01:17:32.000 The world is too bonkers for him to be able to do Black Mirror.

01:17:36.000 Jesus Christ.

01:17:37.000 He's going to have to let it sit out and...

01:17:40.000 What have you been watching?

01:17:42.000 Ozark.

01:17:42.000 Did you watch Ozark?

01:17:44.000 So good.

01:17:45.000 Did I? Did you watch the whole season?

01:17:46.000 All three.

01:17:47.000 The end.

01:17:47.000 Binged them all.

01:17:48.000 The end is like, what in the fuck?

01:17:50.000 I can't get enough of that shit.

01:17:52.000 As soon as the last episode of season three was over, I googled, when does season four start?

01:17:57.000 What to say?

01:17:57.000 They don't have an answer.

01:17:59.000 Like, how are you going to leave me hanging like that?

01:18:01.000 Everything's on hiatus.

01:18:02.000 Oh, no.

01:18:03.000 They can't act.

01:18:04.000 Because then they have to get close to each other.

01:18:06.000 Oh, God.

01:18:07.000 Someone might get the cooties.

01:18:09.000 I watch Hunters with Al Pacino hunt Nazis.

01:18:11.000 Oh, how's that?

01:18:12.000 Amazing.

01:18:13.000 Really?

01:18:13.000 Oh, it's good.

01:18:14.000 Really?

01:18:15.000 Is that a series or is that a show?

01:18:16.000 It's a series on Amazon.

01:18:18.000 Oh, Amazon's doing some good shit, man.

01:18:21.000 You ever watched Marvelous Mrs. Maisel?

01:18:23.000 No!

01:18:24.000 I want to, though, because you said it's good, right?

01:18:26.000 First two seasons are very good.

01:18:28.000 Third season lost me in the beginning, but I might try it again.

01:18:32.000 Coming back.

01:18:33.000 Now that Ozark is over, I might jump back in.

01:18:37.000 Ozark has to be top five of all time.

01:18:39.000 It's a fucking amazing show.

01:18:41.000 It's so good.

01:18:42.000 It's so fucking good.

01:18:43.000 And you know what's crazy?

01:18:44.000 We were just talking about this.

01:18:44.000 The scariest people on the scariest show are women.

01:18:48.000 That Darlene bitch is the scariest woman in all of television.

01:18:52.000 The lawyer?

01:18:53.000 The poppies.

01:18:54.000 Yeah, the lawyer.

01:18:55.000 Oh, that crazy bitch?

01:18:56.000 Yeah, that one.

01:18:57.000 And then spoiler alert in three, two, one.

01:18:59.000 And then she's hooking up like that 17-year-old.

01:19:02.000 Hilarious!

01:19:02.000 She kills her husband?

01:19:03.000 Yes!

01:19:05.000 She's so fucking hardcore.

01:19:06.000 She's so crazy.

01:19:07.000 When she shoots Homeboy?

01:19:09.000 I'm so bad at spoilers.

01:19:12.000 Yeah, it's a spoiler alert.

01:19:13.000 It's been out long enough now.

01:19:14.000 No, no, no, no, no.

01:19:15.000 People don't have the time.

01:19:17.000 You can't ruin it for them, Brendan.

01:19:18.000 People don't have time to do what?

01:19:20.000 They don't have time.

01:19:20.000 We have nothing to do.

01:19:21.000 But there's other shows.

01:19:22.000 There's movies.

01:19:23.000 I binge-watched every Adam Sandler movie he's ever done.

01:19:26.000 Good for you.

01:19:27.000 Except Little Nicky.

01:19:28.000 I haven't seen Little Nicky yet.

01:19:28.000 Little Nicky's good.

01:19:29.000 People hate on it.

01:19:30.000 I love Little Nicky.

01:19:31.000 Kevin Nealon has tits.

01:19:32.000 Maybe we'll watch it tonight.

01:19:33.000 He grows tits on his head.

01:19:34.000 It's hilarious.

01:19:35.000 Super underrated.

01:19:36.000 We've been doing every night.

01:19:38.000 We have a movie night at home.

01:19:39.000 Oh, he's great.

01:19:40.000 With the kids.

01:19:41.000 Dude, Adam Sandler movies, sir.

01:19:43.000 He's the best.

01:19:43.000 Zohan is, to this day, one of the funniest movies I've ever seen in my life.

01:19:46.000 You had Billy Madison, Happy Gilmore.

01:19:48.000 Yep.

01:19:49.000 Wedding Singer.

01:19:49.000 Happy Gilmore's amazing.

01:19:50.000 Wedding Singer.

01:19:51.000 Amazing.

01:19:51.000 Big Daddy.

01:19:52.000 Yep.

01:19:52.000 Yeah.

01:19:53.000 Big Daddy was great.

01:19:54.000 He's got great fucking movies, man.

01:19:56.000 And he gets hated on.

01:19:58.000 Like the Rotten Tomatoes scores.

01:20:00.000 I wonder why.

01:20:01.000 I don't know.

01:20:01.000 I don't get it.

01:20:02.000 He's so talented.

01:20:04.000 People want really clever, really great writing.

01:20:08.000 Just be entertained.

01:20:09.000 You're telling me Billy Masson and Happy Gilmore is not creative writing?

01:20:13.000 Especially at the time?

01:20:14.000 It's the thing is...

01:20:16.000 The kind of jokes, although they're hilarious, they're like all dick jokes.

01:20:21.000 It's all like, but it's funny.

01:20:23.000 That's my brand.

01:20:24.000 All I care is what's funny.

01:20:25.000 Me too.

01:20:26.000 I just want to be entertained.

01:20:27.000 Dude, I howled at Happy Gilmore.

01:20:30.000 Howled.

01:20:30.000 Oh, it's fucking great, dude.

01:20:33.000 You forget how good it is.

01:20:34.000 It's so good.

01:20:35.000 There's so many of those movies I haven't seen in forever.

01:20:38.000 Yeah.

01:20:39.000 I haven't seen so many of those movies forever.

01:20:41.000 Did you see Uncut Gems with him?

01:20:42.000 I haven't.

01:20:42.000 I heard it's great.

01:20:43.000 Oh, dude.

01:20:44.000 I heard it's great.

01:20:45.000 He blows you away in that.

01:20:46.000 Blows you away.

01:20:47.000 That's a drama, right?

01:20:48.000 Drama.

01:20:49.000 Yeah, he plays a serious character.

01:20:51.000 You're just sweating the whole time.

01:20:52.000 It's so intense.

01:20:54.000 It's so good.

01:20:55.000 Yeah.

01:20:56.000 Great movie.

01:20:57.000 I saw Ready Player One.

01:20:58.000 It's a fucking great movie.

01:20:59.000 I haven't seen that.

01:21:02.000 Who's the director?

01:21:04.000 Steven Spielberg.

01:21:05.000 If you care to, the book, which I listened to, it's one of the only fiction books I've ever even bothered to go through, but I listened to it.

01:21:14.000 Will Wheaton, the guy from Star Trek, reads it, and he reads some character voices.

01:21:19.000 Fucking awesome.

01:21:20.000 It's way different than the movie.

01:21:23.000 The stuff they do, Like the trials, if you will.

01:21:27.000 I don't want to spoil it much because it's so different.

01:21:30.000 It's so much more detailed...

01:21:32.000 It's way awesome.

01:21:34.000 They just couldn't do it in the movie because they would have had to pay for way more licenses for way more things.

01:21:38.000 Hey, did your boy Tom O'Neill, who wrote that Manson book, the CIA book, did he say when they're going to come out with the documentary, the TV show of it?

01:21:46.000 No, because they still haven't decided whether or not they're going to do one single documentary or they're going to do an Amazon series like Wild West or Wild Country.

01:21:55.000 They should do a series like Wild Wild Country.

01:21:59.000 Or Tiger King or something like that.

01:22:01.000 Yes.

01:22:01.000 That's what they should do.

01:22:02.000 Yeah, they should definitely do that.

01:22:03.000 They should do a series.

01:22:03.000 It's too intricate.

01:22:06.000 It's too detailed.

01:22:07.000 It's deep, dude.

01:22:08.000 There's so much going on with that fucking book.

01:22:11.000 That book's amazing.

01:22:12.000 But that book became a New York Times bestseller after it came on the podcast.

01:22:15.000 It's blowing through the fucking roof.

01:22:18.000 It's huge sales now.

01:22:20.000 It deserves it.

01:22:20.000 Yeah.

01:22:21.000 It's so fucking good.

01:22:22.000 Yeah.

01:22:23.000 And the amount of time he put into it.

01:22:25.000 I don't even think the paperback's out.

01:22:26.000 June 23rd, I think.

01:22:27.000 Unless they bump it up.

01:22:28.000 Right.

01:22:30.000 So the hardcover sold out.

01:22:33.000 Fascinating.

01:22:33.000 Yeah, it's a really well-researched and well-done book.

01:22:37.000 It's his life's work, man.

01:22:39.000 It's crazy to think that this guy worked on it for 20 years.

01:22:42.000 20 years on this one book.

01:22:44.000 And it started out as a magazine article for Premiere.

01:22:46.000 Nuts, and he got super deep.

01:22:47.000 And as he started uncovering things, he's like, holy shit.

01:22:51.000 It'll make you question everything with the CIA and all that stuff.

01:22:54.000 Oh, 100%.

01:22:54.000 And Manson.

01:22:55.000 You're like...

01:22:57.000 You got into it way before he was on the podcast.

01:22:59.000 How did you find out about it?

01:23:01.000 It was very strange.

01:23:03.000 I'm not obsessed, but I like Manson stuff.

01:23:07.000 Really?

01:23:08.000 Yeah.

01:23:08.000 Why?

01:23:09.000 I don't know.

01:23:10.000 After that whole time period, you know, in the late 60s and 70s, I liked that time period, especially in Hollywood.

01:23:15.000 I just got into the Manson stuff, man.

01:23:17.000 It is a weird time period.

01:23:18.000 And then somebody recommended it to me, like a fan.

01:23:21.000 I was like, you might dig this one, man.

01:23:22.000 I picked up, I was like...

01:23:24.000 Holy shit, this is good.

01:23:25.000 You know, Fitzsimmons knew that guy during the entire time he was writing that book.

01:23:30.000 They were next-door neighbors for 20 years.

01:23:33.000 What?

01:23:33.000 That's how I found out about the book.

01:23:35.000 Fitzsimmons does my podcast.

01:23:37.000 We're hanging out and talking.

01:23:37.000 He goes, hey, man.

01:23:38.000 He goes, there's something you'd really be interested in.

01:23:41.000 My friend Tom O'Neill wrote this book about Manson.

01:23:43.000 Immediately, my eyes glossed.

01:23:44.000 Oh, great.

01:23:45.000 Your friend wrote a book about Manson.

01:23:47.000 Yeah.

01:23:47.000 And then he starts talking.

01:23:48.000 And the more he starts talking, I'm like, what?

01:23:50.000 And he's like, yeah.

01:23:51.000 He goes, he was part of this CIA LSD experiment where they were helping Manson get LSD, and they were teaching him these tactics for getting these fucking hippies.

01:24:05.000 And they probably did it while he was in jail.

01:24:07.000 And they probably dosed him.

01:24:08.000 And then it turns out that those doctors with the same names as the doctors that were in the CIA LSD program also visited Manson in prison.

01:24:17.000 You're like, hold on.

01:24:17.000 Holy shit.

01:24:18.000 And they see how much leeway they gave him getting in trouble with the law.

01:24:21.000 You're like, what the fuck is going on here?

01:24:22.000 Every time he got arrested, they let him out, even while he was on parole.

01:24:25.000 Violated his parole.

01:24:26.000 They let him right out of jail.

01:24:27.000 And every time they talked to the sheriffs or the different cops that arrested him, they're like, it's above my pay grade.

01:24:32.000 They were told to let him out.

01:24:35.000 What's interesting about Manson, too, is he's obviously the most famous serial killer.

01:24:39.000 Not a serial killer, though.

01:24:40.000 How can you label him a serial killer?

01:24:42.000 He's never killed anybody.

01:24:43.000 Well, he definitely killed somebody.

01:24:44.000 He shot a guy.

01:24:45.000 He killed that one guy at the ranch that died.

01:24:48.000 Shot a guy, yeah.

01:24:49.000 Yeah.

01:24:49.000 And he directed those other people to kill people.

01:24:53.000 Maybe.

01:24:54.000 Maybe.

01:24:54.000 Well, what's interesting is- That wouldn't be a serial killer.

01:24:57.000 No, he's not a serial killer.

01:24:58.000 No.

01:24:59.000 He's a killer.

01:25:00.000 But he's also a part of a CIA LSD PSYOP program.

01:25:05.000 All that fucking- Wasn't Kaczynski too, though?

01:25:08.000 Mind control shit.

01:25:08.000 Yeah, he was a different one.

01:25:10.000 Kaczynski was a part of the Harvard LSD experiments.

01:25:13.000 Yeah.

01:25:14.000 They were doing a lot of wacky shit with LSD back in those days.

01:25:18.000 There's a lot of terrible things that happened to people because they dosed them up with LSD and blew their brains out.

01:25:23.000 It's weird Manson never came out and said this.

01:25:25.000 Like, oh dude, I was fine until these fucks came along and gave me LSD. I was trying to fucking play with the, you know, the Beach Boys.

01:25:35.000 I mean, back then...

01:25:36.000 Because he's a legit musician.

01:25:38.000 Like, pretty legit musician, too, man.

01:25:40.000 Is there any of his music?

01:25:41.000 Yeah, you can't listen to his music?

01:25:43.000 He would hang with the Beach Boys.

01:25:45.000 Yes.

01:25:46.000 Yeah, Brian Wilson was going to give him some sort of a contract, and they...

01:25:52.000 Then his agent went down to his ranch and was like, well, this is terrible.

01:25:55.000 And that's when he's like, oh, well, we're going to kill you now.

01:25:59.000 Well, we're going to kill everybody.

01:26:01.000 Oh, man.

01:26:02.000 Can you imagine that one back then?

01:26:04.000 No internet.

01:26:05.000 The whole hippie movement is a new thing, right?

01:26:07.000 Before the 60s, the 50s, there was nothing like that.

01:26:09.000 So all of a sudden, that's like from 2010, there's no hippies at all.

01:26:14.000 And all of a sudden, here we are in 2020 and hippies are everywhere.

01:26:17.000 And the flower children, they're doing acid and freaking out.

01:26:21.000 Having sex.

01:26:22.000 Having sex and having orgies.

01:26:24.000 You mean having a great time, Joe?

01:26:26.000 Some of it's probably a good time.

01:26:27.000 Probably the best of times.

01:26:31.000 You know Woodstock went on during a pandemic?

01:26:33.000 Yeah, you sent me that.

01:26:35.000 That's nuts.

01:26:37.000 They closed down.

01:26:38.000 It was before Woodstock, right?

01:26:40.000 And they shut everything down and avoided the pandemic.

01:26:42.000 Woodstock still went on.

01:26:44.000 Yeah.

01:26:44.000 But the economy, everything didn't shut down.

01:26:47.000 How long?

01:26:48.000 It was bad.

01:26:49.000 It was more deaths than we have during this thing so far.

01:26:53.000 Really?

01:26:53.000 Yeah.

01:26:55.000 And America just kind of powered through it.

01:26:56.000 Everyone's like, we've never seen something like this before.

01:26:58.000 It's like, you all get history, man.

01:27:00.000 We have.

01:27:01.000 Well, we definitely...

01:27:01.000 Everybody goes to 1918. Hong Kong flu, 1968, killed one million worldwide and 100,000 in the U.S., Wow.

01:27:10.000 Woodstock went on during that time.

01:27:11.000 Think about all the dudes that got their dicks sucked during that pandemic.

01:27:15.000 Dirty hippies.

01:27:16.000 Yeah, and mud.

01:27:17.000 Yeah, dirty hippies.

01:27:18.000 And Hell's Angels were there stabbing people.

01:27:20.000 And that was called the Hong Kong flu?

01:27:23.000 That's racist.

01:27:23.000 And then they tried to call this one the Kung flu.

01:27:26.000 But is it racist if it came from Hong Kong?

01:27:28.000 Did it come from a wet market?

01:27:31.000 They say that's fake, right?

01:27:32.000 It's created in a lab?

01:27:34.000 They say, well, there's two stories.

01:27:37.000 One story is, yes, it was created in the market.

01:27:40.000 The other story is, it was something that was in a lab and it was leaked.

01:27:45.000 What's Elon Musk say?

01:27:46.000 He's my Lord and Savior.

01:27:47.000 I didn't ask him.

01:27:48.000 Oh, really?

01:27:49.000 Yeah.

01:27:50.000 I didn't ask him about that.

01:27:51.000 We talked about the disease, but we basically talked about the infringements on civil liberties by forcing people to stay home, and he doesn't agree with any of that.

01:27:58.000 Nuts.

01:27:59.000 He said you should have the right to quarantine if you so choose to.

01:28:03.000 That's America.

01:28:03.000 Yeah.

01:28:04.000 Yeah, I think so too.

01:28:05.000 I'm always over by his SpaceX.

01:28:07.000 And it's so, in a weird way, motivating.

01:28:10.000 Look at what he's built over there.

01:28:12.000 I take my son to a gym over there, Jeff Foley's gym.

01:28:15.000 And we park right by it and you see the huge spaceship and the parking.

01:28:20.000 It used to be a hoodie area.

01:28:22.000 It's booming over there now, man.

01:28:23.000 Is it really?

01:28:24.000 Where is it?

01:28:25.000 Is that Burbank?

01:28:26.000 No, it's like Hawthorne.

01:28:30.000 Hawthorne, yeah.

01:28:31.000 Hawthorne.

01:28:33.000 Right by the Hawthorne Airport.

01:28:34.000 You take a right and see this huge spaceship, SpaceX, and this dope building.

01:28:39.000 Dude, we were talking about Neuralink a lot yesterday.

01:28:42.000 Oh, you're talking about what?

01:28:43.000 Neuralink?

01:28:44.000 What's that?

01:28:44.000 They're going to drill a fucking one-inch diameter hole in your head and insert something with these little wires.

01:28:51.000 They're going to go about two millimeters into your brain, and they're going to juice up your fucking noggin.

01:28:57.000 So it's just everybody smart as fuck?

01:28:59.000 That's how it's going to work.

01:29:01.000 So then you just have a computer in your brain?

01:29:02.000 Oh yeah, you're gonna be smart as fuck.

01:29:04.000 And he goes...

01:29:05.000 Elon doesn't need that.

01:29:06.000 This is what Elon said.

01:29:07.000 You're not gonna have to talk anymore.

01:29:09.000 Not gonna have to talk anymore.

01:29:11.000 One day.

01:29:12.000 I don't want that.

01:29:12.000 No need to talk anymore.

01:29:13.000 How are we gonna communicate?

01:29:14.000 Through our brains.

01:29:15.000 Oh God, I don't want...

01:29:16.000 Tune into each other with a universal language of love.

01:29:18.000 Oh, we're gonna be robots.

01:29:19.000 Oh, you mean be robots, Elon.

01:29:21.000 I don't want that.

01:29:21.000 Elon, don't create this shit, dude.

01:29:23.000 Aliens.

01:29:24.000 We're going to become aliens.

01:29:27.000 One other thing he said when we were talking about artificial intelligence, it was like, if you can't beat them, join them.

01:29:34.000 Look, that's what it's going to look like.

01:29:35.000 A hole in your fucking head, bro.

01:29:38.000 Who's signing up for that first?

01:29:40.000 Me.

01:29:41.000 No.

01:29:42.000 First in line.

01:29:43.000 Fuck it, let's see.

01:29:44.000 You get the shitty version?

01:29:46.000 I'm tired of talking to people.

01:29:47.000 I'm going to put out podcasts just laying there and just thinking.

01:29:52.000 And then you're going to receive it.

01:29:53.000 What a nightmare.

01:29:55.000 What's the point, man?

01:29:56.000 Well, the point of this, first of all, initially, is to heal injuries.

01:29:59.000 He said we're going to be able to take people with spinal cord injuries, even quadriplegics.

01:30:03.000 CT? Yes.

01:30:05.000 All those things.

01:30:06.000 Everything.

01:30:06.000 Brain damage, Alzheimer's.

01:30:08.000 But the thing is about people that are injured that can't move, you're basically going to have new things that move your muscles where your spinal cord doesn't work anymore.

01:30:20.000 And ultimately, it'll work even better.

01:30:23.000 I go, better?

01:30:24.000 He goes, yes, better.

01:30:25.000 So it'll work better than your own fucking spinal cord and your own nerves.

01:30:30.000 So then your reactions, your movement, sports are going to be insane.

01:30:33.000 Yeah, imagine some dude who's got like a catastrophic neck injury and they go, we got good news and bad news.

01:30:39.000 Bad news is you have a catastrophic neck injury.

01:30:43.000 You're paralyzed from the neck down.

01:30:44.000 The good news is we're going to install Neuralink and your body's going to work way better than it ever worked.

01:30:50.000 You're just going to have to bypass the regular nerves with the synthetic nerves.

01:30:55.000 And we're going to install everything.

01:30:57.000 It's going to take about 16 hours on the operating table.

01:30:59.000 And you're going to get out and you're going to be able to jump over buildings.

01:31:02.000 Yeah, but you know that first version is going to be like the cell phone.

01:31:06.000 So it's going to be some blocky, you look like an asshole.

01:31:10.000 Nah, not for me, man.

01:31:13.000 Not for you right now, but just like you don't want to carry that brick that fucking homeboy had in Wall Street in your pocket.

01:31:20.000 Remember the Michael Douglas brick?

01:31:21.000 Yes.

01:31:21.000 You don't want that in your pocket.

01:31:22.000 Hell no, I'm going to wait.

01:31:23.000 I'm going to wait it out.

01:31:24.000 But look, all those years later, look what we got.

01:31:26.000 I know, you're right.

01:31:26.000 Look at that sleek little device.

01:31:28.000 So nice.

01:31:28.000 You're right.

01:31:29.000 That's what it's going to be.

01:31:30.000 In the beginning, it's going to be some stupid thing.

01:31:32.000 You got to wear a football helmet everywhere, but you could see the moon.

01:31:37.000 You can read people's minds, but you have some fucking big bulky thing in your head, like a motorcycle helmet or something.

01:31:43.000 I'll probably be dead, but for my kids, it's going to be a weird one.

01:31:46.000 No, no.

01:31:46.000 I don't think you will be.

01:31:47.000 He's talking about five years.

01:31:50.000 He's talking about the implementation of this stuff.

01:31:52.000 Five years, that thing's going to be like a jillion dollars.

01:31:55.000 I don't think it will be, man.

01:31:56.000 Oh, wow.

01:31:57.000 But I think the thing that you have to worry about is the haves and the have-nots.

01:32:00.000 There's never going to be a bigger distinction between haves and have-nots to when you have this neural link that literally turns you into a super cyborg, and the people that are poor have no access to that.

01:32:11.000 So he was sort of saying, like...

01:32:15.000 You're gonna have access to so much more productivity.

01:32:18.000 You're gonna be able to get so much more accomplished.

01:32:20.000 You're never gonna get tired.

01:32:22.000 It's gonna be so difficult.

01:32:23.000 And he's creating this?

01:32:24.000 He's making it.

01:32:25.000 Why do you want to do this, Elon?

01:32:27.000 I don't think he can help himself.

01:32:29.000 Well, like he said, if you can't beat him, join him?

01:32:31.000 Well, I also think his brain is so different than our brains.

01:32:35.000 When you're sitting there talking to him, I think he's trying to talk to me the way I talk to a three-year-old.

01:32:41.000 Like, if a three-year-old's trying to talk to me about a drawing they made, I'm like, oh, okay, cool.

01:32:46.000 So is that a house?

01:32:47.000 Is that the house right there?

01:32:48.000 Oh, is that you?

01:32:49.000 No, it's your daddy.

01:32:50.000 Oh, okay.

01:32:52.000 That's how it is for him on a daily basis.

01:32:55.000 Just the worst, he's all fucked.

01:32:57.000 I'm always surprised that he talks to me.

01:32:59.000 Whenever I text him, I'm always surprised he texts me back.

01:33:01.000 It's Elon Musk, dude.

01:33:02.000 I know.

01:33:03.000 When I'm sitting down with him.

01:33:04.000 Whose idea was it for him to come on?

01:33:06.000 Well, he was tweeting a bunch of crazy shit about getting rid of his houses.

01:33:11.000 Did he explain why he wants to get rid of his house?

01:33:14.000 Yeah, he said that it's an attack vector, the fact that he has so much possessions, and he's so wealthy.

01:33:19.000 People go, oh, you're a billionaire, you have so many things.

01:33:21.000 He goes, okay, I'll get rid of everything.

01:33:23.000 I won't have anything.

01:33:24.000 Then what?

01:33:24.000 What do you say then?

01:33:26.000 He's going to rent.

01:33:28.000 He's going to rent a house.

01:33:29.000 That's what he told me.

01:33:30.000 Quit listening to people, dude.

01:33:32.000 You're a fucking billionaire.

01:33:34.000 Become a supervillain.

01:33:36.000 Do your thing, dude.

01:33:37.000 He was tweeting shit like Free America Now.

01:33:39.000 Yeah, I loved it.

01:33:40.000 I loved it.

01:33:40.000 I did too.

01:33:41.000 Everybody's going nuts.

01:33:42.000 And, you know, people were mad at him.

01:33:44.000 People were agreeing with him.

01:33:46.000 And so I saw him like, I guarantee you, he probably wants- There's a lot to say.

01:33:51.000 Yeah, and he also wants an opportunity to express himself freely.

01:33:55.000 Where someone can...

01:33:56.000 There's not a lot of places where he can just do that.

01:33:59.000 And so I said...

01:34:00.000 Oh, I love it.

01:34:00.000 I just sent him a text.

01:34:01.000 You ever want to come on and talk?

01:34:04.000 I go, you have an open invitation.

01:34:06.000 What was he like?

01:34:07.000 He goes, when would it be good for you?

01:34:08.000 Does he write in code?

01:34:09.000 No.

01:34:10.000 Really?

01:34:10.000 Just normal?

01:34:11.000 Normal text messages.

01:34:12.000 Wow.

01:34:13.000 He's a fun guy, man.

01:34:14.000 I really enjoy his company.

01:34:15.000 Bet he didn't smoke weed this time.

01:34:16.000 Nope.

01:34:17.000 I told him we could leave the weed alone.

01:34:18.000 We drank.

01:34:19.000 We had some whiskey.

01:34:20.000 Oh, did he drink?

01:34:20.000 Yeah, he always drinks.

01:34:21.000 Oh, wow.

01:34:22.000 Yeah.

01:34:22.000 So we talked.

01:34:25.000 It must be tough for him.

01:34:26.000 Yeah, he's so smart.

01:34:27.000 The only reason why he didn't come in the day before yesterday is his kid was born.

01:34:32.000 Oh, that's right.

01:34:32.000 Yeah, so he left the hospital, went home, came right here.

01:34:36.000 Gangster.

01:34:37.000 Yeah.

01:34:37.000 Always been a fan, even when he didn't have hair.

01:34:39.000 Always a fan.

01:34:44.000 Got those plugs, son.

01:34:45.000 They work.

01:34:46.000 The come-up.

01:34:47.000 He's a timepiece now.

01:34:48.000 High-level plugs.

01:34:49.000 Elon Musk plugs, man.

01:34:51.000 Yeah, he spent the good money.

01:34:52.000 I don't get why Trump and LeBron don't figure it out.

01:34:54.000 If Elon can.

01:34:56.000 Yeah, well, LeBron, first of all, just shave his head.

01:34:58.000 Yes.

01:34:58.000 And Trump, first of all, just shave your head.

01:35:01.000 Can you imagine Trump bald?

01:35:02.000 He'd look like Kingpin, dude.

01:35:04.000 I swear to God, if I could grow hair, I'd shave my head.

01:35:07.000 I don't know.

01:35:08.000 If you'd grow it like that, Jesse Stamos.

01:35:10.000 Oh, come on, dude.

01:35:11.000 Don't shave my head.

01:35:12.000 Dude, I like the way I look.

01:35:14.000 Bald.

01:35:15.000 You look cool.

01:35:15.000 I do.

01:35:16.000 I do like it.

01:35:18.000 I like the low maintenance of it.

01:35:20.000 I used to have a hairdresser that I went to for years, and she's nice, and I miss her.

01:35:25.000 She just cut my hair.

01:35:26.000 We had good conversations.

01:35:27.000 That's it.

01:35:27.000 That's all I miss about having hair.

01:35:29.000 Yeah.

01:35:29.000 Shampoo.

01:35:30.000 You had a good set of hair on you, though, too, man.

01:35:32.000 Back in the early days.

01:35:33.000 Back in the day.

01:35:33.000 That shit started going, son.

01:35:35.000 Yeah.

01:35:35.000 And then the Propecia.

01:35:37.000 Propecia's not good for the pecker.

01:35:38.000 Brian begs a differ.

01:35:39.000 He says it takes harder on it.

01:35:42.000 It's so hard to believe.

01:35:43.000 Who knows with Brian?

01:35:45.000 It's so hard.

01:35:46.000 It's so hard to figure out.

01:35:47.000 You've got to decipher it through the madness.

01:35:49.000 He's so funny.

01:35:50.000 He's so crazy.

01:35:50.000 And Brian is shaving his head too now.

01:35:52.000 He's just taking it in steps.

01:35:54.000 That's what I told him.

01:35:55.000 I go, do the full rogue.

01:35:56.000 He's like, no, no, no.

01:35:57.000 I'm like, dude, it's a matter of time.

01:35:59.000 Father time catcher here.

01:36:00.000 He got it really short and now he's letting it grow a little longer.

01:36:03.000 It's gonna grow out looking like shit.

01:36:05.000 Father of Time is his barber.

01:36:07.000 Dude, let it go.

01:36:08.000 Buzz it down, baby.

01:36:09.000 Buzz it down, dude.

01:36:09.000 Don't be scared.

01:36:10.000 People dig the short hair on Brian.

01:36:12.000 It's so low maintenance.

01:36:13.000 That's what I like about being bald.

01:36:15.000 Every like four or five days, I take the clippers and I fucking...

01:36:19.000 I try to convince Jamie.

01:36:21.000 Because Jamie can't get a haircut because there's no barber.

01:36:24.000 No, his shit looks nice right now.

01:36:25.000 Shave it down, bro.

01:36:25.000 No.

01:36:26.000 No, his shit looks flowing right now.

01:36:28.000 When you go outside, you gotta put on sunscreen and shit.

01:36:30.000 Put a hat.

01:36:31.000 You wear a hat everywhere you go, son.

01:36:33.000 You're wearing a hat right now.

01:36:34.000 I didn't say it's maintenance.

01:36:36.000 I'm just saying it's the same maintenance.

01:36:37.000 Dude, my hair was down to here.

01:36:40.000 My hair was down to here.

01:36:42.000 And then I got on the trails and I was like, I'm hot as fuck.

01:36:45.000 Well, you used to buzz down when you fought.

01:36:46.000 Oh, yeah.

01:36:46.000 You used to get crew cuts.

01:36:47.000 Because low maintenance.

01:36:48.000 Yeah.

01:36:48.000 Because, you know...

01:36:50.000 I remember I was like, looking in the mirror, fixing my...

01:36:51.000 I'm like, what the fuck am I doing?

01:36:53.000 And then I shaved it.

01:36:53.000 Yeah, when you're fighting, you can't be thinking about shit like that.

01:36:55.000 I was thinking about shaving, I was trying to convince my son to shave it too.

01:36:58.000 Really?

01:36:58.000 And his mom's like, he's not shaving his head.

01:37:00.000 He looks like a little Navy SEAL and it's shaved.

01:37:02.000 It's cute as fuck.

01:37:04.000 Dude, I gotta convince him not to touch fucking rattlesnakes, man.

01:37:08.000 Oh, yeah, he probably doesn't understand.

01:37:09.000 No, I kept showing him videos, because I show him the videos.

01:37:12.000 Before I show you guys, I show him when I get home.

01:37:14.000 I'm like, look, Papa saw another rattlesnake.

01:37:16.000 And he has this false confidence, right?

01:37:18.000 He goes, I'm the fastest kid in the world.

01:37:19.000 I go, you're the fastest kid in the world.

01:37:20.000 That comp's going to help you when you get older.

01:37:22.000 But right now, he goes, I'm the fast skin of the world.

01:37:24.000 I go, you are fast, but you're not faster than the snake.

01:37:26.000 He goes, yes, I am, Papa.

01:37:27.000 I go, I'm telling you you're not faster than the snake.

01:37:28.000 I go, are you faster than me?

01:37:30.000 He goes, yes.

01:37:31.000 I go, all right, well, let's say you're a little faster than me.

01:37:34.000 We're not as fast as this, and I'll play a video of a snake striking.

01:37:36.000 I go, you're not that fast.

01:37:37.000 He goes, then I fucking, I chop it.

01:37:39.000 I chop it.

01:37:43.000 You don't chop it, dude.

01:37:44.000 So I've been showing them just horrible- Like Napoleon Dynamite.

01:37:46.000 Yeah.

01:37:47.000 I show them horrible videos of snakes.

01:37:50.000 Horrible videos.

01:37:52.000 Oh, God.

01:37:52.000 And it's just not getting through his head.

01:37:54.000 So now I tell the lady who watches him during the day, if I'm at work, or his mom, if he goes outside, someone has to go first.

01:38:01.000 If you're a rattlesnake, you get him the fuck out of there.

01:38:03.000 Because he thinks he's faster than it.

01:38:06.000 Oh, my God.

01:38:07.000 I'm the fastest boy in the world.

01:38:08.000 All right, dude.

01:38:09.000 Alright, dude.

01:38:10.000 You've got to admire the confidence.

01:38:11.000 I know.

01:38:12.000 It's going to pay off when he's older if he gets in sports, but right now it's a problem.

01:38:15.000 As long as he doesn't get bit first.

01:38:16.000 Oh, dude.

01:38:17.000 Nightmare.

01:38:17.000 Oh, my God.

01:38:18.000 I guess there's rattlesnake socks you can buy.

01:38:21.000 People have been sending me socks you can buy where the snake can't get through it.

01:38:26.000 Huh.

01:38:26.000 It must be Kevlar.

01:38:27.000 I have no idea, but I should probably get a pair.

01:38:30.000 Yeah, it's got to be the same material they use for knife-proof vests and shit like that.

01:38:34.000 Dude, I'm going mountain biking with this guy Joe.

01:38:36.000 He's a specialized pro.

01:38:39.000 And me and him go on the trails.

01:38:41.000 And that's why I've been training so hard, because I know I'm going to go with him, so I want to try and see where I'm at with this pro guy.

01:38:46.000 Should be pretty nuts.

01:38:47.000 So you're training?

01:38:48.000 I'm training.

01:38:49.000 Yeah, I go to sleep.

01:38:50.000 Before I go to sleep at night, I'll go through the trail in my head.

01:38:52.000 Just like when I was fighting, I go through it in my head.

01:38:54.000 I'm obsessed with it, man.

01:38:56.000 Mountain biking!

01:38:57.000 Nuts, right?

01:38:57.000 How did that happen?

01:38:58.000 The quarantine.

01:39:01.000 But it's out of nowhere.

01:39:02.000 That big glacier downhill thing?

01:39:04.000 Yes.

01:39:05.000 Where's that?

01:39:06.000 It's in like France.

01:39:07.000 You go to the top of a glacier and you go all the way down.

01:39:09.000 That's the thing we've seen a few times where everybody crashes in that big thing.

01:39:12.000 Oh, that looks terrifying.

01:39:13.000 It's nuts.

01:39:14.000 That's the one where you go over that ridge and to the left and to the right is death?

01:39:17.000 That's a different thing.

01:39:17.000 That's just fun.

01:39:18.000 That's just fun trails.

01:39:20.000 What's weird about me is I like to suffer a little.

01:39:22.000 I like going up the hills, man.

01:39:24.000 I like when it's steep as fuck.

01:39:27.000 Sometimes my quads will get so pumped of blood, I have to get off and walk.

01:39:31.000 I have this weird trigger in me where I'm like, fuck yeah, dude.

01:39:34.000 And the sun's beating down on me.

01:39:35.000 There might be a rattlesnake.

01:39:36.000 I'm just like, fuck!

01:39:38.000 I'm going.

01:39:39.000 I just love it.

01:39:40.000 Well, it's no pounding, too.

01:39:42.000 That's the great thing.

01:39:43.000 You're getting cardio without beating the fuck out of your joints.

01:39:45.000 I'm getting lean, dude.

01:39:46.000 I'm losing weight on it.

01:39:48.000 Nice.

01:39:49.000 You're doing this every day?

01:39:50.000 Every day.

01:39:51.000 How many miles?

01:39:51.000 Today I did 24 miles.

01:39:54.000 Wow.

01:39:55.000 Dude, that's real.

01:39:57.000 What do you do when you get a flat?

01:39:59.000 You're 24 miles out, you get a flat.

01:40:00.000 You can fix it.

01:40:01.000 Some of these are tubeless, but I know how to fix it.

01:40:04.000 Really?

01:40:05.000 Yeah.

01:40:05.000 Tubeless?

01:40:06.000 Tubeless.

01:40:06.000 Tubeless tires.

01:40:07.000 So where if they get a flat, there's a liquid in that fills the hole.

01:40:11.000 But sometimes it's too bad.

01:40:13.000 Like if my chain's broke, I can fix it.

01:40:15.000 You fixed a chain?

01:40:16.000 Fixed my chain.

01:40:17.000 What are you learning how to do this?

01:40:18.000 I don't even know you anymore.

01:40:20.000 I know.

01:40:20.000 It's weird.

01:40:21.000 You fixed the chains?

01:40:21.000 When you first got into hunting, weren't you obsessed with it?

01:40:25.000 Yes.

01:40:26.000 That's how I am right now with biking.

01:40:28.000 It's weird, dude.

01:40:29.000 That's interesting.

01:40:30.000 The Thick Boy Bike Club, that was a joke at first, but then all these people just started...

01:40:36.000 I'm getting hundreds and thousands of messages of people on their bikes.

01:40:40.000 I was like, we got a real fucking club here.

01:40:43.000 You know how Kevin Hart does those things where he has these races?

01:40:46.000 That's what I'm doing.

01:40:49.000 Where's the Thick Boy Bike Club going to meet?

01:40:51.000 Well, once we go back to normal, every city I go into, that Saturday, we're meeting at their top trail.

01:40:56.000 Come on.

01:40:57.000 That's what I'm doing, dude.

01:40:58.000 So you're going to do a Kevin Hart?

01:40:59.000 I'm doing a Kevin Hart, but with bikes.

01:41:01.000 Wow.

01:41:02.000 I like it.

01:41:03.000 I like it.

01:41:05.000 Because everyone can relate to bikes.

01:41:08.000 People are going to fall and break their fucking necks right in front of me.

01:41:10.000 Not my insurance.

01:41:12.000 That's why you can't charge them to be part of it.

01:41:15.000 Oh, right.

01:41:16.000 Then it's like, hey, we met here.

01:41:17.000 It's Thick Boy Bike Club.

01:41:18.000 Yeah, you're on your own.

01:41:19.000 We're all riding together, man.

01:41:21.000 No liability.

01:41:22.000 Wow, I like it.

01:41:24.000 Hey, man, it's a great activity for cardio.

01:41:26.000 It really is.

01:41:26.000 And the biking community is so positive.

01:41:29.000 I have so many people reaching out to me, specialized, you know, all these people just reaching out.

01:41:33.000 It's nuts, dude.

01:41:34.000 Wow.

01:41:35.000 It's insane.

01:41:36.000 It's one of the best things that happen out of this quarantine.

01:41:38.000 I'm like, holy fuck.

01:41:39.000 When I say I love it, man, literally, I close my eyes the night before I go through the entire trail.

01:41:45.000 What does Callan think about all this?

01:41:47.000 He's like, well, I'll post bikes all the time.

01:41:49.000 He'll be like, he'll get on and go, please quit posting your bike.

01:41:54.000 Why does he get upset by it?

01:41:56.000 I think he's just fucking around, but he just, I don't know.

01:41:59.000 You know Callan.

01:42:00.000 Bro, we gotta move him out of Venice.

01:42:01.000 Who's telling me about the homeless problem he's got near his place?

01:42:04.000 His place is dope, man.

01:42:05.000 You know, I grew up in Venice in the summer, so Venice is in my heart, man.

01:42:09.000 I love Venice, but there's always been a bum problem.

01:42:11.000 We went to Felix, that fucking dope restaurant on Abbott-Kinney.

01:42:15.000 Great restaurant.

01:42:15.000 Love that place.

01:42:16.000 And as we're passing this, on the left is a beautiful house, probably a $5 million house.

01:42:21.000 At least.

01:42:22.000 Right in front of it, there's 10 tents.

01:42:24.000 I was like, this is crazy.

01:42:25.000 This guy's literally across the street from a homeless encampment.

01:42:29.000 I know.

01:42:29.000 And he's got this gorgeous house.

01:42:30.000 The tough thing is, again, I love Venice, one of my favorite places on earth, if not my favorite.

01:42:35.000 The problem is, do you want to raise a family?

01:42:37.000 Like, I don't want my son being around that, you know?

01:42:39.000 It's just, there's so much homelessness.

01:42:42.000 I know.

01:42:42.000 It's weird.

01:42:43.000 And Brian sent us that article about how it's essentially just devastating real estate prices.

01:42:49.000 Fuck yeah.

01:42:50.000 And they don't know what to do.

01:42:52.000 People have no idea what to do or how to fix it.

01:42:55.000 I don't know what you do.

01:42:56.000 It's only growing.

01:42:56.000 I know now that I'm so into biking, I'm only going to live in either Palisades, Malibu or Woodland Hills where we're at.

01:43:04.000 Because the mountain's there.

01:43:05.000 So when I go over, I go to Palisades, Malibu or I'm in Woodland Hills...

01:43:09.000 Calabasas.

01:43:09.000 I'm only living there.

01:43:10.000 Those are great choices, especially Malibu.

01:43:13.000 The air over there is fantastic.

01:43:14.000 You're getting that ocean air.

01:43:16.000 No smog.

01:43:17.000 It just blows right from the ocean.

01:43:19.000 Sigur is my neighbor.

01:43:20.000 Sigur moved over there.

01:43:22.000 Yeah, he loves it.

01:43:23.000 He loves it.

01:43:24.000 It's a great place to live in terms of air quality.

01:43:29.000 It's nice places to go to.

01:43:31.000 Great places, dude.

01:43:31.000 You can surf, bike ride.

01:43:33.000 My kid goes to school over there, so I've got to figure it out.

01:43:36.000 Might be the move.

01:43:37.000 Yeah.

01:43:38.000 Might be the move.

01:43:39.000 I love where we're at, though, man.

01:43:40.000 Yeah.

01:43:41.000 Well, you know, I mean, California is good in terms of weather.

01:43:46.000 There's a lot of great people here.

01:43:48.000 We have a lot of great friends here.

01:43:49.000 Best restaurants.

01:43:50.000 Best comedy club.

01:43:51.000 Best comedy club.

01:43:52.000 Two best comedy clubs.

01:43:53.000 Yeah.

01:43:54.000 La Jolla and the store in Hollywood.

01:43:56.000 Yeah.

01:43:57.000 The best comedy clubs in the world.

01:43:58.000 And the improv's great, too.

01:43:58.000 I love the improv.

01:44:00.000 And I love the ice house.

01:44:01.000 Ice house ain't bound.

01:44:02.000 Yeah.

01:44:02.000 Ice house is killing it.

01:44:03.000 The real question is, what's everything gonna be like when everything reopens?

01:44:07.000 And what happens if we get a second wave?

01:44:09.000 If we get locked down again?

01:44:11.000 If this governor thinks he can lock everything down again, even after we've shown...

01:44:15.000 Look, if the statistics come out, and what Elon said was true, that the death rate, when it appears to be, is far lower than anybody anticipated.

01:44:23.000 If this guy still thinks they're gonna lock everything down again in a few months, if we get a second wave, he can eat shit.

01:44:29.000 People aren't gonna put up with it, man.

01:44:30.000 People are gonna leave.

01:44:31.000 They're going to leave the state.

01:44:32.000 They're leaving already.

01:44:34.000 People aren't going to put up with it, and yeah, they're going to leave, but I also just think they're not going to put up with it.

01:44:39.000 Well, it could be very bad for him politically if he continues to go down this route because it's devastating to the economy.

01:44:45.000 You've got to give people the ability to make their own decisions.

01:44:48.000 Yeah, and I like when people are revolting against it.

01:44:50.000 I don't know what it is.

01:44:52.000 There's something about that I'm like, fuck yeah, dude.

01:44:54.000 And where they're revolting is all the Republican areas.

01:44:57.000 And it makes sense!

01:44:57.000 It's all Newport Beach, Huntington.

01:44:58.000 But it also makes sense.

01:44:59.000 Oh, you're talking about the areas he wanted to shut down?

01:45:01.000 Yeah, he did shut down.

01:45:02.000 Is that not weird?

01:45:03.000 It is weird.

01:45:03.000 San Diego, you guys, Ventura, stay open.

01:45:06.000 Democrat, Democrat.

01:45:07.000 But Republican Beach is shut down.

01:45:08.000 What the fuck are you doing, dude?

01:45:10.000 Yeah, what is that?

01:45:10.000 And then those people at this beach went, not happening.

01:45:13.000 Why do you think he did that?

01:45:14.000 You think he did that politically because they are a Republican town?

01:45:17.000 Why else would you do it?

01:45:19.000 That's so gross if that's what he did.

01:45:20.000 It's just disgusting.

01:45:21.000 Politics are disgusting in general.

01:45:23.000 It is really a foul, greasy business.

01:45:26.000 The most foul, man.

01:45:26.000 It's so greasy.

01:45:28.000 Yeah, when we can read each other's minds, we won't need those cunts.

01:45:31.000 Nope.

01:45:32.000 We really won't.

01:45:33.000 There should be established rules that we all follow.

01:45:36.000 What you need is you need the military.

01:45:38.000 You need someone to watch over the military to see that they don't fucking go out of control and try to take over like China.

01:45:42.000 Dude, you've always said it best.

01:45:43.000 You need a committee.

01:45:44.000 Put Elon Musk on that fucking committee.

01:45:46.000 I need a guy who can read stats.

01:45:48.000 Put Elon on there.

01:45:49.000 You need a large group of people, not one person, and they need to have exhibited the fact that they're objective and reasonable and ethical and moral.

01:46:00.000 You can't just have a popularity contest.

01:46:02.000 No, it's not.

01:46:03.000 It's just too stupid.

01:46:06.000 Yeah, if there was going to be an uprising and cases, and if they shut down again, I would probably have to leave.

01:46:13.000 Where would you go?

01:46:14.000 Would you go to Texas?

01:46:15.000 I think all of us should talk.

01:46:17.000 I think all of us should talk.

01:46:19.000 Everybody has money.

01:46:19.000 We should all talk, go to one place, and go to that comedy club and fucking rock that house every fucking night.

01:46:26.000 That would be crazy.

01:46:28.000 And we still all do podcasting.

01:46:29.000 We're guests on each other's shows.

01:46:32.000 I'm down.

01:46:33.000 I'm 100% down.

01:46:34.000 Yeah.

01:46:35.000 Let me check with Callan.

01:46:36.000 Yeah, he's down.

01:46:36.000 If there's an earthquake, that's when everyone's really going to understand that we're in a bad spot.

01:46:41.000 Yeah, well, taxes should help you understand you're in a bad spot.

01:46:46.000 Dude, the taxes are insane.

01:46:48.000 They are crazy.

01:46:50.000 It is crazy.

01:46:50.000 But you get what you pay for.

01:46:51.000 Right.

01:46:51.000 Well, that's when so many people moved to Nevada.

01:46:53.000 You know, Nevada gets 60,000 people a year from California.

01:46:57.000 Yeah, Denver got a shitload of them too.

01:46:58.000 60,000 is a large number.

01:47:00.000 It's a lot.

01:47:01.000 60,000 people moving into Nevada every year.

01:47:04.000 Dana and I were talking about the political atmosphere of Nevada and that their governor is Democrat and a lot of the reasons why.

01:47:13.000 They used to be really a red state and they're not anymore and a lot of reasons why are all the people that are pumping in from California.

01:47:19.000 Interesting.

01:47:20.000 Yeah, but they don't have state taxes so it's a great place if you're trying to save some money.

01:47:24.000 Would you live in Nevada?

01:47:27.000 I don't think so.

01:47:29.000 I think I'd rather go to Texas or Florida without those state taxes.

01:47:31.000 Yeah, I wouldn't mind Reno.

01:47:33.000 I wouldn't mind living in Tahoe, up in the mountains areas.

01:47:37.000 Yeah, I need mountains, dude.

01:47:38.000 Mountain biker.

01:47:42.000 But Vegas?

01:47:44.000 Vegas is tough.

01:47:45.000 I hate Vegas.

01:47:46.000 I want to live inside the devil's balls.

01:47:47.000 I don't know.

01:47:49.000 I mean, we could perform there.

01:47:50.000 I don't know.

01:47:51.000 I love your idea of doing residency in LA. You do it, not me.

01:47:55.000 You do it.

01:47:56.000 It's a brilliant idea.

01:47:57.000 That's the solution to travel.

01:48:01.000 Just tell people where I am.

01:48:03.000 You can do it, though.

01:48:04.000 Yeah.

01:48:05.000 Like a decent sized theater, like the Larga or something like that?

01:48:10.000 Yeah, something around 500 seats.

01:48:12.000 Every Friday?

01:48:13.000 Yeah.

01:48:14.000 It's possible.

01:48:15.000 Because think how many shows you do at the Comedy Store and at the Improv.

01:48:17.000 Yeah.

01:48:18.000 Think how many, you go through the tickets, that's a lot of people.

01:48:21.000 Yeah.

01:48:21.000 Thousands.

01:48:22.000 Yeah.

01:48:22.000 Every week, dude.

01:48:24.000 Yep.

01:48:24.000 Hey, who's not going to fly to LAC Rogue and do the Largo every Friday?

01:48:28.000 Yeah, I'm kind of already doing it, right?

01:48:30.000 You're doing it.

01:48:31.000 I'm already doing it at the Comedy Store and the Improv when everything was up and running.

01:48:35.000 But yeah, I would do something like that.

01:48:37.000 And it's not a bad idea.

01:48:38.000 And maybe do that and then tour occasionally.

01:48:42.000 Yeah.

01:48:42.000 And when I tour, I'm touring once a month.

01:48:46.000 But I have a lot of dates coming up.

01:48:47.000 Look, I have dates coming up in October, and I don't even know if I'm going to be able to do them.

01:48:52.000 Like I've got Madison Square Garden's almost sold out.

01:48:55.000 Boston Garden almost sold out.

01:48:57.000 You're doing Madison Square Garden.

01:48:58.000 I don't know about that.

01:48:59.000 I bet you are.

01:49:00.000 October 3rd?

01:49:00.000 I bet you are.

01:49:01.000 Bro, it's 18,000 people.

01:49:03.000 If you've got 18,000 people, what are the rules?

01:49:06.000 Do you have to have only 9,000 people?

01:49:08.000 Everybody is like...

01:49:12.000 Ray Romano used to have the I'm not a homo joke about going to the theater with your buddy.

01:49:17.000 You have to have a seat in between the two of you.

01:49:19.000 The I'm not a homo seat.

01:49:20.000 But think how fast, you know, we talk all this shit about opening up, but think how fast things are moving now.

01:49:26.000 Think about July when the summer's popping.

01:49:29.000 Yeah, but New York City's real bad.

01:49:30.000 New York's bad.

01:49:32.000 And you know the other thing about New York?

01:49:33.000 It's on the decline, though.

01:49:34.000 Yeah, it is on the decline.

01:49:35.000 But I'm worried about New York in terms of people moving out of New York.

01:49:38.000 I think people are going to realize how preposterous it is to be stacked on top of each other.

01:49:42.000 Insane.

01:49:43.000 If you haven't figured it out yet, I mean, come on, man.

01:49:45.000 This is going to be a big wake-up call for them.

01:49:47.000 You said it's in October?

01:49:49.000 Yes.

01:49:49.000 Think about New York in August, dude.

01:49:52.000 I know.

01:49:52.000 Things are going to be booming.

01:49:53.000 I hope.

01:49:54.000 Trump's going to be pumping fucking money.

01:49:56.000 That's three months from now, though.

01:49:57.000 Yeah, that's three months.

01:49:58.000 This shit just started two months ago.

01:50:00.000 But think how fast it's rolling, dude.

01:50:02.000 Is it?

01:50:03.000 Things are kind of rolling.

01:50:04.000 They're rolling now.

01:50:05.000 For the last month and a half, it's been stagnant.

01:50:07.000 But states are ahead of us.

01:50:08.000 Remember, Newsom's a goddamn cocksucker, so he's holding things back.

01:50:13.000 But if a bunch of people start dropping like flies in two weeks in Atlanta, we're going to have a real problem.

01:50:17.000 Then you should cancel all your shows.

01:50:20.000 If Spokane gets one more death, your boy's probably not coming up there.

01:50:23.000 There's going to be places we're going to be allowed to go, for sure.

01:50:26.000 I get messages every day, dude, Spokane, ticket sales, but I'm like, I haven't even promoted it.

01:50:31.000 I haven't even started promoting it because I'm like, I don't know, man.

01:50:34.000 It's going to be our first Thick Boys Bike Club get-together that Saturday morning.

01:50:38.000 So you're going to do that every time you do it?

01:50:40.000 Every city I go to.

01:50:40.000 Wow.

01:50:41.000 You don't think you're going to get bored with this biking shit?

01:50:43.000 No, I don't think so.

01:50:44.000 I'm obsessed with it.

01:50:45.000 But there's got to be some places that don't even have bike trails.

01:50:48.000 Well, like Florida, probably going to pass.

01:50:50.000 You're going to get bit by an alligator.

01:50:52.000 100%.

01:50:53.000 New Orleans, probably pass.

01:50:55.000 See that dopey lady in, was it Louisiana?

01:50:58.000 She got bit by an alligator.

01:50:59.000 She was trying to take a picture with it.

01:51:01.000 She's like, get closer.

01:51:02.000 Oh, no.

01:51:02.000 For the gram?

01:51:02.000 I'm going to get closer to him.

01:51:03.000 And the alligator ate her.

01:51:05.000 It just ate her?

01:51:06.000 It's on camera?

01:51:07.000 I don't think it's on camera.

01:51:08.000 I can't get enough of that.

01:51:09.000 It's on camera, but it's pretty rare that an alligator attacks and kills a person.

01:51:13.000 People think I'm closer to those rattlesnakes when I post a picture of them, or the video of them, but I zoom in.

01:51:20.000 My bike's always between me and the rattlesnake, usually.

01:51:23.000 He's just run over his head, flatten it out, hold onto it.

01:51:26.000 Yeah, but then someone sent me a video of a guy running over one, and even though he ran over it, it was so big, it turned back and bit his fucking calf.

01:51:34.000 Really?

01:51:35.000 Yeah.

01:51:35.000 Even though it was like, ah!

01:51:36.000 Bit his ass.

01:51:37.000 Oh, I could see that happen.

01:51:38.000 Yes.

01:51:39.000 Yeah.

01:51:39.000 Some boys are thick.

01:51:40.000 They flex all that muscle.

01:51:43.000 Well, he probably tried to be a pussy and run over the back of it.

01:51:46.000 You gotta go head first.

01:51:48.000 Run over that fucking head.

01:51:49.000 Crush his fucking head.

01:51:50.000 It's weird how dark they are, man.

01:51:52.000 Wow, man.

01:51:53.000 They're a dangerous creature.

01:51:54.000 Have you ever seen one dragon a rabbit?

01:51:57.000 It's nuts.

01:51:58.000 They're monsters.

01:51:59.000 My kid thinks it's faster than them.

01:52:01.000 It's not good.

01:52:02.000 It's a night.

01:52:03.000 How old is he?

01:52:04.000 Like four?

01:52:05.000 He's four.

01:52:05.000 And I'm the fastest boy in the world.

01:52:07.000 Yeah, dude.

01:52:07.000 You keep saying that, man.

01:52:09.000 And he is.

01:52:10.000 He's the fastest four-year-old you've ever seen.

01:52:12.000 But four-year-olds aren't rattlesnakes, dude.

01:52:14.000 It's hilarious.

01:52:15.000 He's these big old calves he got from his mama.

01:52:17.000 He's all shredded.

01:52:19.000 It's hilarious.

01:52:20.000 Fast boy in the world.

01:52:21.000 All right, man.

01:52:22.000 Some kids are just jacked when they're young and you realize that life isn't fair.

01:52:26.000 You look at some kids and they look like they're literally made out of marshmallows.

01:52:29.000 Like marshmallows covered by a thin...

01:52:32.000 It's a bummer.

01:52:32.000 Thin skin.

01:52:34.000 It's a bummer.

01:52:34.000 Like, did you see that five-year-old that stole the car to go buy a Lamborghini?

01:52:42.000 What?

01:52:44.000 This five-year-old stole the car.

01:52:46.000 And when you see him, you're like, well, that's the biggest five-year-old in the world.

01:52:49.000 He's probably, I don't know, 100. He's so fat.

01:52:51.000 Look at him.

01:52:52.000 They put a weird thing over his face.

01:52:54.000 Oh, so you can't see him.

01:52:55.000 But there's video of his family talking.

01:52:57.000 They're all thick as fuck.

01:52:58.000 And he stole this car because his mom told me he can't have a Lamborghini.

01:53:02.000 Five-year-old driving an SUV on a Utah freeway.

01:53:05.000 And then he goes, I'm going to California to buy a Lamborghini.

01:53:08.000 And they go, how much money do you have?

01:53:09.000 He goes, I have $3 in my wallet.

01:53:11.000 So look at this.

01:53:11.000 They spotted the vehicle driving 35 miles an hour and swerving.

01:53:15.000 This five-year-old is just driving on the highway.

01:53:19.000 What a confident kid.

01:53:21.000 He pulled over.

01:53:21.000 And not bad.

01:53:22.000 And not bad for a five-year-old.

01:53:24.000 And he's got his foot on the brakes.

01:53:26.000 Just how crazy is it?

01:53:27.000 How old are you?

01:53:28.000 Five.

01:53:29.000 You're five years old.

01:53:30.000 Wow.

01:53:31.000 His sister fell asleep while she was babysitting him.

01:53:35.000 So he just stole a car.

01:53:37.000 Yeah, because I guess before his mom left to work, he's like, can I have a Lamborghini?

01:53:41.000 She's like, wait, are you at your fucking mind?

01:53:42.000 No.

01:53:43.000 He's like, I had three dollars with him, and he was going to buy a Lamborghini.

01:53:47.000 This is like a Will Ferrell movie.

01:53:49.000 It's insane.

01:53:50.000 But not bad for a five-year-old.

01:53:52.000 Did you see that big baby, too, that meme that was going around with this gigantic baby?

01:53:57.000 It's about three years old, I think.

01:53:59.000 What?

01:53:59.000 Yeah.

01:54:00.000 Look at that thing.

01:54:01.000 Guy looks creepy as shit.

01:54:02.000 That's like an adult pretending to be a baby.

01:54:05.000 Yeah, that's a weird kid.

01:54:06.000 God damn, that kid is thick.

01:54:08.000 Jesus Christ.

01:54:11.000 Giant baby.

01:54:11.000 Those giant babies, it never really ends well for them, does it?

01:54:14.000 It doesn't end well for giants.

01:54:16.000 Mom of Big Baby tells haters he's actually healthy.

01:54:20.000 We started going around during the NFL draft.

01:54:22.000 They were just like, this is the next NFL line.

01:54:24.000 He might be a giant.

01:54:25.000 He might be.

01:54:26.000 Did you see all that shit where Adele was getting crap for losing weight?

01:54:30.000 People were mad at her.

01:54:30.000 Who was getting her shit for losing weight?

01:54:32.000 Fat girls.

01:54:32.000 Of course.

01:54:33.000 How dare you, girl?

01:54:34.000 You used to be a representative of us fat fucks.

01:54:37.000 That's what's going on.

01:54:37.000 Plus size models.

01:54:38.000 Oh, God.

01:54:39.000 They're saying that this shouldn't define beauty standards and that losing weight and being thin shouldn't be what we look to for beauty standards.

01:54:48.000 You know how crazy that is?

01:54:48.000 You know how fucking crazy that is?

01:54:50.000 You mean Adele got healthy and you fat fucks want to stuff your face with pizza and get COVID and blame it on us?

01:54:56.000 They also want to pretend they're still beautiful.

01:54:58.000 It's crazy.

01:54:59.000 Even though they're thick.

01:55:00.000 Yeah, some chubby chasers like that.

01:55:02.000 Thick and sloppy.

01:55:03.000 Ah, fuck, dude.

01:55:05.000 Hating on Adele for being disciplined, finally getting her shit together, quitting fish and chips?

01:55:09.000 I want that plus-size model thing to carry over to men.

01:55:12.000 I'm waiting for men to decide that these abs and six-packs and ripped muscles and this is...

01:55:19.000 You can't define beauty standards.

01:55:21.000 This is how good I look.

01:55:24.000 I look good with a gut.

01:55:25.000 I don't think that's ever going to happen.

01:55:26.000 It's not going to happen.

01:55:27.000 Not only that, there'd be no support.

01:55:29.000 There'd be no, you go, boy.

01:55:30.000 Start that club.

01:55:31.000 There's a lot of fat girls that get, you go, girl.

01:55:33.000 You are beautiful.

01:55:34.000 You're beautiful.

01:55:35.000 You're so courageous.

01:55:37.000 You're so brave.

01:55:38.000 You're so amazing.

01:55:39.000 Don't worry.

01:55:40.000 Guys aren't like that.

01:55:41.000 They're wrong.

01:55:42.000 They're wrong.

01:55:43.000 Guys aren't like that.

01:55:43.000 The way they're picking on you.

01:55:46.000 Yeah, that's Thor from Marvel Comics when he drank a lot of beer.

01:55:50.000 Yeah.

01:55:50.000 He lost that way real quick in that scene, though.

01:55:53.000 Remember?

01:55:53.000 No.

01:55:54.000 A couple scenes later, he's thin again.

01:55:56.000 Did you see that new movie he was in?

01:55:58.000 On Netflix?

01:55:59.000 No.

01:55:59.000 It's pretty good.

01:56:01.000 Andy Stump said it fucking sucked, and he said it's so unrealistic, because, you know, Andy's a legitimate seal.

01:56:08.000 He said it's 100% horseshit.

01:56:10.000 Although Andy likes Fast and Furious.

01:56:12.000 Yeah, he gets shot and lives through it.

01:56:13.000 But you like Fast and Furious, Andy?

01:56:15.000 He's on a street...

01:56:16.000 Racecar driver.

01:56:17.000 Yeah, but that's shit.

01:56:18.000 Yeah, they're jumping R8 from building to building, Andy.

01:56:21.000 And then you got The Rock holding the helicopter by a chain.

01:56:26.000 But then this isn't real?

01:56:27.000 That's why you don't enjoy it?

01:56:28.000 What's his business?

01:56:29.000 Oh, come on, dude.

01:56:30.000 I get it a little bit.

01:56:31.000 I'll watch fight movies and I'll get the fuck.

01:56:33.000 Yeah, like if we saw Warrior.

01:56:34.000 Watch Rocky.

01:56:35.000 How about Warrior?

01:56:36.000 That stupid movie that Callum was in?

01:56:38.000 Did they fight two days in a row?

01:56:39.000 I don't want to watch it.

01:56:40.000 It makes you mad.

01:56:41.000 When they fight two days in a row, I'm like, hey, hey, hey.

01:56:43.000 That would never happen.

01:56:43.000 Do you ever talk to a guy a day after he had a fucking cage fight?

01:56:46.000 Your head looks like a watermelon.

01:56:48.000 Everything's sore.

01:56:49.000 You barely can walk.

01:56:50.000 The idea that you're going to fight two days in a row is so stupid.

01:56:53.000 That's Hollywood shit.

01:56:54.000 It's such Hollywood shit.

01:56:56.000 They think they're smarter than everybody.

01:56:57.000 They're going to rewrite things for dramatic effects.

01:57:00.000 That's what happened with Uncut Gems you were talking about earlier.

01:57:01.000 There's like three big plot points.

01:57:02.000 Don't choose spoiler alert!

01:57:04.000 Shut the fuck up!

01:57:05.000 Three big plot points that people say aren't real?

01:57:09.000 Please don't ruin it for me.

01:57:10.000 I'm gonna watch it.

01:57:11.000 Please.

01:57:11.000 It's still a great movie.

01:57:12.000 Please stop.

01:57:13.000 Please.

01:57:14.000 It's a fantastic movie.

01:57:15.000 Don't ruin it.

01:57:16.000 Joe, I know you hate other sports.

01:57:19.000 You gotta watch The Last Dance on ESPN. Jamie was talking about that too.

01:57:25.000 I know you don't like sports.

01:57:26.000 I would definitely watch it.

01:57:28.000 Because it doesn't really get into the X's and O's of basketball.

01:57:31.000 Just from a sheer greatness of Michael Jordan.

01:57:35.000 You're like, holy fuck, dude.

01:57:37.000 It's insane.

01:57:40.000 It's insane.

01:57:41.000 Yeah, he was a madman.

01:57:43.000 He was a madman.

01:57:44.000 Straight up madman.

01:57:45.000 Punched Steve Kerr in the face.

01:57:48.000 Gambling addict.

01:57:50.000 Just, you know, when they're in the Olympics, you know, they're practicing, and all the best guys were on one team.

01:57:56.000 He was on one team with, like, the B-side, and they got up by six, and someone talked shit to him.

01:57:59.000 He's like, excuse me?

01:58:00.000 And then took over.

01:58:02.000 And they're like, holy fuck.

01:58:03.000 But they said he was nasty about it.

01:58:05.000 Like, he's just the ultimate winner.

01:58:07.000 You watch that, you're like, gee, this is insane, dude.

01:58:10.000 And then just the pressure.

01:58:11.000 He hated the negative.

01:58:14.000 Because he came out he was a gambling guy.

01:58:18.000 And so all the negativity he got.

01:58:20.000 And one of the reasons he retired from that negativity.

01:58:23.000 You're like, oh dude, if you thought that was negative.

01:58:25.000 Think about the players now dealing with social media.

01:58:27.000 Oh yeah, that's one of the reasons why people respect LeBron James so much in comparison.

01:58:31.000 I mean, he's dealing with the worst aspects of social media.

01:58:37.000 Think about John Jones.

01:58:39.000 Think about all the shit John gets.

01:58:41.000 He brings it on himself.

01:58:43.000 He doesn't give a fuck!

01:58:44.000 He'll get arrested, right?

01:58:48.000 Whatever gun he's shooting and he's like hanging out with bums at four in the morning.

01:58:51.000 Next day, what's up everybody?

01:58:52.000 Shooting arrows.

01:58:54.000 Don't give a fuck.

01:58:55.000 CMA, whatever his fight is.

01:58:57.000 It's like, alright dude.

01:58:58.000 Well he definitely bounces back easy.

01:59:00.000 It's interesting.

01:59:01.000 Like some people get devastated by bad press.

01:59:03.000 Some people just let it roll right off their back.

01:59:06.000 John's a roll right off their back guy.

01:59:08.000 What else are you gonna do?

01:59:08.000 Lay down?

01:59:09.000 Because he's the creator of this madness, but he's still just like, yeah, dude, all right.

01:59:15.000 Yeah, well, he's a risk taker.

01:59:17.000 That's why he's such a great fighter.

01:59:18.000 And when you're a risk taker, you fuck up.

01:59:21.000 Make mistakes.

01:59:24.000 Yeah, you're right.

01:59:25.000 I mean, that's part of what it is.

01:59:26.000 I mean, I always point to the fact that the guy opened up that fight with Shogun, youngest guy ever to win the title, opens up with a flying knee against a legend.

01:59:36.000 Who does that?

01:59:37.000 Well, I'll tell you what, not as nuts, but what is crazy is when you're fighting Marco Kokop on the same card, I open up with a head kick.

01:59:44.000 That's right.

01:59:45.000 And Mirko went like this and smiled at me.

01:59:47.000 He was like, what the fuck are you doing?

01:59:49.000 I was like, yeah, you're right.

01:59:50.000 That's disrespectful.

01:59:51.000 Well, you won, though.

01:59:52.000 Yeah, I did win.

01:59:53.000 Shout out to Mirko.

01:59:54.000 You knocked him out.

01:59:55.000 It's a big win.

01:59:56.000 Yeah, my biggest win.

01:59:57.000 Am I crazy to think Dominic Cruz can beat Henry Cejudo in decision?

02:00:03.000 Dominic Cruz is a legitimate bantamweight.

02:00:06.000 Henry Cejudo beat Marlon Marais, but Marlon Marais, it seemed like kind of fell apart.

02:00:13.000 Got tired and fell apart.

02:00:14.000 He broke him.

02:00:16.000 Dominic Cruz, we haven't seen in a long time.

02:00:19.000 He doesn't get hit, really.

02:00:20.000 I mean, Cody Garbrandt fight, but...

02:00:22.000 Yeah, but he got real emotional with the Cody Garbrandt fight.

02:00:25.000 We don't know where he's at physically.

02:00:27.000 He just got off another surgery.

02:00:30.000 He's 36, 37 now, which is old for a 135 pound fighter.

02:00:36.000 Very old.

02:00:37.000 But, you know, this guy's a fucking...

02:00:39.000 His movement, dude.

02:00:39.000 He's a winner, man.

02:00:41.000 And Henry Cejudo starts slow.

02:00:42.000 I see him getting down in rounds to Dominic.

02:00:45.000 Dominic's impossible to hit, man.

02:00:46.000 And his movement is pretty substantial.

02:00:48.000 It's a big factor.

02:00:50.000 It's so weird, too.

02:00:52.000 It's awkward.

02:00:52.000 It's his wrestling style switching the feet.

02:00:54.000 If it's Dom in kind of that fashion, I don't know, man.

02:00:58.000 It's a tough fight for Henry Cejudo.

02:01:00.000 Well, Dominic Cruz is a tough fight for everybody.

02:01:03.000 He's not an easy fight for anybody.

02:01:05.000 And also, you know, I mean, he's got to realize there's not a whole lot more opportunities left.

02:01:12.000 Not at all.

02:01:13.000 If he wins this one, there are.

02:01:14.000 But if he loses it, it's kind of like...

02:01:16.000 Yeah, if he loses it, it's over.

02:01:17.000 Just be an analyst for a little bit.

02:01:19.000 Well, he's great at that.

02:01:20.000 The best.

02:01:21.000 Yeah.

02:01:21.000 One of the best.

02:01:22.000 Yeah, he's for sure one of my favorites.

02:01:24.000 My favorite's you, Anik, in D.C., though.

02:01:27.000 Well, me and DC have a fun time, man.

02:01:30.000 We get silly.

02:01:30.000 Well, DC's one of the guys.

02:01:32.000 Yeah.

02:01:32.000 DC's like us.

02:01:33.000 Yeah, yeah.

02:01:34.000 DC texted me the other day.

02:01:35.000 He's like one of the guys.

02:01:36.000 Yeah.

02:01:37.000 He gets silly.

02:01:38.000 He's getting mad waiting around for Stipe.

02:01:41.000 I think it's a disservice to DC. I love Stipe, and he has the ISU, and he's talking about, oh, I can't even get a cage.

02:01:48.000 Well, guys are figuring out.

02:01:49.000 It's like, dude, if you're not going to fight, then we've got to figure something out.

02:01:52.000 I think the UFC gave him some sort of an ultimatum.

02:01:55.000 I would imagine.

02:01:56.000 That's what he said.

02:01:57.000 Oh, did he?

02:01:58.000 Yeah.

02:01:58.000 Yeah, there was an article about it today where there's some sort of a discussion.

02:02:04.000 Well, what I don't want is Stipe to come back too soon when he's not ready and lose that fight and ruin a little bit of his legacy.

02:02:11.000 Dude, wait it out.

02:02:11.000 Get that eye.

02:02:12.000 Better let these guys do their thing when they come back.

02:02:16.000 Yeah, I don't know if Stipe's ever going to be able to fight again.

02:02:19.000 Maybe he shouldn't.

02:02:22.000 It's not worth it.

02:02:23.000 He's great.

02:02:24.000 Whatever he does, he's still great.

02:02:25.000 He got poked quite a bit that first fight.

02:02:28.000 I re-watched that first fight.

02:02:29.000 He got poked bad in the eyes.

02:02:31.000 The first fight with DC. I don't know if that's where the eye injury came from, but it could have been.

02:02:38.000 God, I don't see DC jumping onto bed to fight Francis.

02:02:42.000 Fuck that.

02:02:43.000 I think if Stipe backs off and says, I'm done, you know, my eyes are too precious, I think DC retires.

02:02:50.000 Agree.

02:02:51.000 Unless they come up with some sort of wild 205-pound fight for him that allows him to make that cut again.

02:02:57.000 Dude, and then how long is Francis going to reign as the champion?

02:03:02.000 Who knows?

02:03:03.000 And then John goes up there.

02:03:05.000 What if Rosenstreich wins?

02:03:06.000 Yeah, you're talking malarkey right now.

02:03:09.000 Am I? No, I'm just kidding.

02:03:10.000 What do you think the odds are?

02:03:11.000 He could easily.

02:03:12.000 What do you think the odds of that fight are?

02:03:13.000 I would say 3-1.

02:03:16.000 3-1.

02:03:17.000 Because they're basing off the Overeem fight, which is a bad idea to do in the first place.

02:03:21.000 But remember, they set lines to get movement.

02:03:22.000 They want you to bet on them.

02:03:24.000 Yeah.

02:03:25.000 I would say 3-1.

02:03:28.000 Because they're basing off the Overeem fight.

02:03:30.000 But you're talking about two different game plans.

02:03:31.000 Which, MMA math and MMA betting is insane.

02:03:36.000 Insane.

02:03:36.000 You have no idea what that guy's feeling that night.

02:03:38.000 Like Cerrone, to the point, we all, I think, in the media, especially MMA media, we all went 2-1?

02:03:44.000 2-1.

02:03:45.000 3-1 underdog and a 3-1 favorite.

02:03:48.000 Oh, there you go.

02:03:48.000 3-1.

02:03:49.000 Minus 275. There you go.

02:03:50.000 We all went pretty hard on Stephen A. Smith.

02:03:52.000 Remember?

02:03:53.000 Like, you went hard on him, I went hard on him.

02:03:54.000 We were like, dude, shut the fuck up.

02:03:56.000 What are you talking about with Don Cerrone?

02:03:57.000 And then Donald comes out and is like, just wasn't there that night.

02:04:00.000 Yeah, but he always says that when he loses.

02:04:02.000 You know, I think Donald gets real nervous.

02:04:06.000 It's always been an issue for him, though.

02:04:07.000 It was a big event.

02:04:08.000 And I think the overwhelming pressure of those big events, it was bad in the Pettis fight, it's bad in the Rafael dos Santos fight.

02:04:15.000 Right, when he gets to that next caliber.

02:04:16.000 Yeah, he gets to the tippity-tippity top where it's the chance of a lifetime.

02:04:21.000 So was Stephen A. Smith right?

02:04:22.000 No, because he didn't quit.

02:04:24.000 He got fucked up.

02:04:25.000 I mean, it wasn't...

02:04:26.000 Did he say quit?

02:04:27.000 Cowboy was nervous as fuck.

02:04:28.000 Yeah.

02:04:29.000 I thought he said he didn't show up.

02:04:31.000 Which is a fair assessment.

02:04:33.000 Even though he's not from the sport, which is insane to say, but he's a hot take guy.

02:04:37.000 So him saying he didn't show up, it's like, and then Cowboy goes, I didn't show up, like, alright, little...

02:04:41.000 And he asked for an apology from everybody in the MMA community.

02:04:44.000 It's the way...

02:04:45.000 Stephen A. Smith did?

02:04:46.000 Please.

02:04:47.000 It's the way he said it.

02:04:48.000 It's the disrespect.

02:04:49.000 Yeah.

02:04:50.000 Because you're not from the sport.

02:04:51.000 Right.

02:04:52.000 And he's talking about it the same way you would talk about someone who misses a free throw.

02:04:56.000 It's not the same thing.

02:04:57.000 He has connotation.

02:04:59.000 It didn't vibe well with the actual fight fans.

02:05:02.000 But they brought him in to do Stephen A. Smith stuff.

02:05:04.000 That's why he's famous.

02:05:06.000 He does hot takes, dude.

02:05:06.000 That's what he does.

02:05:07.000 Yeah.

02:05:07.000 I mean, that's why he's popular, because he makes those bold statements.

02:05:11.000 So he makes $9 million a year from ESPN or whatever the fuck it is.

02:05:14.000 Yeah, that's why.

02:05:15.000 Then he comes over to our sport, it's the same thing.

02:05:16.000 He was like, how dare you?

02:05:18.000 This sport, it requires a different perspective.

02:05:21.000 Also, it's a sport that they know if you're a real fan.

02:05:25.000 They don't want regular sports guys jumping over here.

02:05:30.000 You can be a regular sports guy, but you've got to be a real fan of the actual sport.

02:05:34.000 You've got to be pretty hardcore to get in the game.

02:05:37.000 Yeah, that's what they prefer because there's enough people out there that are talking about it on a regular basis that are hardcore fans of it that are really good of it, like Luke Thomas.

02:05:46.000 Guys that are hardcore fans of it, but that have...

02:05:50.000 Real objective takes where they're analyzing it from a perspective of knowledge.

02:05:56.000 Oh, dude.

02:05:57.000 I love Luke, right?

02:05:58.000 He's part of the Showtime family.

02:05:59.000 I love Luke.

02:06:00.000 I love his YouTube show.

02:06:01.000 He's one of my favorites.

02:06:02.000 Yeah, it's very good.

02:06:03.000 Luke knows this.

02:06:03.000 I love Luke.

02:06:03.000 Me and Luke do a show before big fights.

02:06:05.000 We didn't do it this time.

02:06:08.000 But he's on such the other spectrum when it comes to COVID. He's so terrified.

02:06:12.000 I think it's the worst thing ever.

02:06:13.000 We shut down everything.

02:06:14.000 And obviously, I'm all the way the fuck over here.

02:06:16.000 So we did the show before.

02:06:18.000 I'm like, dude, let's not do the COVID thing.

02:06:20.000 But you can't help but pop up.

02:06:22.000 So it was just one of those things.

02:06:24.000 What does he think?

02:06:26.000 He just thinks it's like the UFC having a fight is insane.

02:06:29.000 I don't know where he's at now.

02:06:30.000 I don't want to misquote him.

02:06:31.000 I know before when they were going to put the one on California, he was like, absolutely not.

02:06:35.000 Any other sport would be shit on, but the MMA media doesn't care.

02:06:38.000 The media doesn't care about the UFC. They shouldn't be doing this.

02:06:42.000 I think they should be doing it.

02:06:43.000 I think they should have had the fight in California if Newsom's bitch ass didn't come in and stop it.

02:06:47.000 But with precautions, why is it such a big deal?

02:06:51.000 I don't know.

02:06:52.000 I don't want to misquote Luke.

02:06:53.000 But they're testing everybody.

02:06:54.000 I know.

02:06:55.000 Let me tell you what happened to me.

02:06:56.000 I had to get a nose swab, which is weird, man.

02:07:00.000 That doesn't feel good at all.

02:07:00.000 Terrible having one in your nose.

02:07:02.000 They dig around there and then they pull it out.

02:07:04.000 It gets way up to the top of your nose.

02:07:07.000 It feels weird because it's irritating, but it stays irritating for a long time.

02:07:15.000 It stays irritating for like 15 minutes after it's over.

02:07:17.000 Is that better than the prick?

02:07:19.000 Oh, the prick's nothing.

02:07:20.000 You don't even feel the prick.

02:07:21.000 I did the prick, but is it the testing better?

02:07:25.000 No, it's active.

02:07:26.000 It's the active bacteria, the active virus, rather.

02:07:31.000 Whereas the other one is just testing the antibodies.

02:07:34.000 And the other one, they can tell whether or not you have a current infection or you recovered from an infection.

02:07:39.000 But this is like, are you sick with it right now?

02:07:41.000 So I did that, and it was negative.

02:07:43.000 My antibodies were negative.

02:07:45.000 Everything's negative.

02:07:45.000 I don't have it.

02:07:46.000 But...

02:07:48.000 You could do that with everybody.

02:07:49.000 And the U.S.C. is doing that, though.

02:07:52.000 Right.

02:07:53.000 This is the thing.

02:07:54.000 It's not like these tests are hard to get anymore, right?

02:07:57.000 There was a point in time in the beginning of this outbreak two months ago where it was very difficult to get these tests.

02:08:02.000 Now it's not.

02:08:02.000 You get these tests, you get the results back fairly quickly, very quickly, 15 minutes with the antibody test.

02:08:08.000 It takes a day or so with the no swab.

02:08:10.000 You can test everybody.

02:08:12.000 So you test everybody.

02:08:13.000 Why is that hard?

02:08:15.000 If everybody's negative, let them fight.

02:08:17.000 If you're talking about healthy people, the idea that that's irresponsible is foolishness.

02:08:22.000 It's not even irresponsible to let them play basketball.

02:08:25.000 Because even if they had the COVID, these fucking guys aren't even showing any symptoms.

02:08:28.000 Exactly.

02:08:29.000 Dude, how about baseball?

02:08:30.000 Them motherfuckers are...

02:08:32.000 You know how far apart baseball players are?

02:08:34.000 So far!

02:08:34.000 Get back to work, MLB! You know how far away they are from each other?

02:08:39.000 Yes.

02:08:40.000 Get back to work.

02:08:41.000 God.

02:08:42.000 Yes.

02:08:42.000 Damn it.

02:08:43.000 Yeah, it's...

02:08:43.000 Listen, it's not what everybody thought it was going to be.

02:08:46.000 Everybody thought it was going to be like the Spanish flu or the fucking Black Plague.

02:08:50.000 It's not.

02:08:51.000 That's what we thought.

02:08:51.000 How about Dana said reporters called in and complained to the Newsom, to the government, and that's why he got shut down.

02:08:59.000 Reporters.

02:09:00.000 That's the word.

02:09:01.000 And he has a list.

02:09:02.000 Am I right on that, Jamie?

02:09:04.000 I heard that.

02:09:05.000 I'll sort of double check the quote.

02:09:07.000 These fucking haters were like, how can you do this?

02:09:10.000 And called in, and then Newsom was like, how can we do this?

02:09:13.000 And then that's why it got stopped.

02:09:14.000 So that's why he said the pussy media, you know?

02:09:18.000 I'd love to hear that list.

02:09:20.000 I wonder, see, but the perspective of the people back then, a month ago, was different.

02:09:27.000 The public's perspective, the information, the more the information comes in, the better things look.

02:09:33.000 You know, the worse it looks if someone in your family died or your grandma died or something.

02:09:37.000 I understand that.

02:09:39.000 But the more the data comes in, the more it looks like it's not nearly as deadly.

02:09:45.000 You gotta open your eyes.

02:09:45.000 You gotta be willing to take the information in, though.

02:09:48.000 As many as 70% of the people that get it are asymptomatic, which is just bonkers, right?

02:09:52.000 And then with young, healthy people, it's off the charts.

02:09:55.000 But just people in general, there's something that's like 98.7?

02:09:59.000 Yeah.

02:09:59.000 Like people that are just fine?

02:10:01.000 Yeah.

02:10:01.000 Yeah, it's weird.

02:10:02.000 It's a weird disease.

02:10:04.000 I'm going to take my chances.

02:10:05.000 Yeah, but I'm pretty sure Dana was saying he has the list of those fucks who called in.

02:10:10.000 And what's he going to do about that?

02:10:11.000 Probably say I'm on fire.

02:10:12.000 I don't know.

02:10:12.000 Whatever he does with people.

02:10:13.000 He's making a list.

02:10:14.000 Probably block him on Instagram.

02:10:15.000 I can't believe he blocked me.

02:10:17.000 What the fuck, dude?

02:10:19.000 I'll try to talk to him this weekend.

02:10:20.000 Come on, don't block me, baby.

02:10:22.000 I got a request.

02:10:24.000 I'm selling pay-per-views over here like a motherfucker for you, man.

02:10:27.000 I know you are, right?

02:10:28.000 Dude.

02:10:28.000 That's what's crazy.

02:10:30.000 Yeah, but the thing is, they can't control you.

02:10:32.000 You're too independent.

02:10:33.000 I know, but it's a good thing.

02:10:34.000 I know, but the show especially...

02:10:37.000 See, when you and him started Tangling, your show was not nearly as successful as it is now, which is really kind of funny.

02:10:47.000 Because if he had just buried a hatchet with you back then, you'd be an ally.

02:10:51.000 It'd be helpful.

02:10:52.000 He could come on the show.

02:10:53.000 You guys could all pump up the pay-per-view.

02:10:55.000 It'd be great for everybody.

02:10:56.000 But you guys are getting millions of views.

02:10:58.000 It's a different world now.

02:11:00.000 Like, now the show is bigger than anything that's on ESPN. By far.

02:11:03.000 Bigger than anything UFC has.

02:11:05.000 Combine all their shows.

02:11:06.000 I beat all of them.

02:11:07.000 And yet I still ride or die for them.

02:11:10.000 Give your boy a boat over here, man.

02:11:13.000 We're going to be friends again!

02:11:15.000 And the show keeps growing.

02:11:16.000 That's what's even crazier.

02:11:17.000 See, when you don't have a connection to a network, like, it's basically a meritocracy.

02:11:23.000 Like, if the show's good, people tune in.

02:11:25.000 Yes.

02:11:25.000 And the more people tune in, the more fun, the more they like it, the more they enjoy it, the bigger it gets.

02:11:30.000 The more realness.

02:11:30.000 Yeah.

02:11:31.000 Where it's not overproduced and someone's in your ear and you've got an agenda.

02:11:35.000 Someone's censoring you.

02:11:36.000 Yes.

02:11:36.000 Someone's holding you back and slowing you down.

02:11:38.000 Take it easy, Shob.

02:11:39.000 You've got to stop calling girls bitches.

02:11:41.000 You've got to...

02:11:42.000 But I mean in a good way!

02:11:44.000 She's a bad bitch!

02:11:45.000 I know, it's a bad bitch.

02:11:46.000 Die in peace, can't say it.

02:11:47.000 Speaking of which, is Rachel Ostovich going to fight Paige Van Zandt?

02:11:51.000 How many people are going to be watching that fight with their pants off?

02:11:54.000 And jacking off this guy.

02:11:57.000 That's going to be the most pants-off watched fight ever.

02:12:00.000 Yeah, and they're talking about it too.

02:12:02.000 Like Paige had it on her that it's going to be the hottest fight ever.

02:12:05.000 Ever.

02:12:05.000 Yeah.

02:12:06.000 The two of them together.

02:12:07.000 I'm so into it.

02:12:07.000 And Rachel Ostovich is wearing a fucking fur coat in the stare down.

02:12:11.000 Just two diamonds.

02:12:13.000 Dying pieces.

02:12:14.000 Make that a pay-per-view main event.

02:12:15.000 I don't want Paige to lose any weight though.

02:12:17.000 When she's all thick like that, she looks so much better.

02:12:18.000 Oh, she looks so good.

02:12:19.000 She looks so much healthier.

02:12:21.000 Did you see her husband?

02:12:22.000 Dude, he tapped out Boogeyman!

02:12:24.000 I was super impressed.

02:12:25.000 He's a monster.

02:12:26.000 I sent him a message on Instagram.

02:12:27.000 He's a good dude.

02:12:28.000 Not only that, his fucking explosive takedown defense, or his submission defense was insane.

02:12:33.000 Insane.

02:12:33.000 The way he exploded out of things, I was very impressed.

02:12:36.000 That was Jail Solomon's thing, right?

02:12:37.000 Yes.

02:12:38.000 Very impressed with his submission, though.

02:12:40.000 The fact that he caught...

02:12:41.000 Look, Boogeyman is a real, legit...

02:12:44.000 Tip of the spare, dude.

02:12:45.000 Tenth Planet Jiu Jitsu, black belt, international competitor.

02:12:50.000 It's all he does.

02:12:51.000 Tapped out Sakuraba.

02:12:52.000 Yeah, that's all he does, though.

02:12:54.000 That's his profession.

02:12:55.000 He's amazing.

02:12:55.000 Austin Vannaford's an MMA fighter, former wrestler.

02:12:59.000 But he's strong as fuck, man.

02:13:00.000 Posting Instagram pictures naked with his girl.

02:13:02.000 I was like, all right, let me go roll this dude up.

02:13:05.000 What a stud.

02:13:06.000 He's really strong, man.

02:13:08.000 The nicest guy in the world, too.

02:13:09.000 I bet he is.

02:13:10.000 The way he tapped him with that head and arm choke, too, he was in half guard.

02:13:14.000 He tapped quick, too.

02:13:15.000 It must have been a lot of pressure.

02:13:17.000 You know, Boogeyman's not going to tap off bullshit.

02:13:19.000 He's a gorilla, man.

02:13:20.000 He's so strong.

02:13:21.000 The way he threw him around, too, I was so impressed at how he got out of that arm bar.

02:13:26.000 The way he explodes out of stuff, like, really explosive.

02:13:30.000 Stud.

02:13:30.000 Really strong guy.

02:13:31.000 Stud.

02:13:32.000 But the clampdown on that head and arm choke, and apparently according to Chael, Chael's the one who's doing the commentary in the pay-per-view, he said that that's Austin's favorite submission.

02:13:41.000 It's a go-to.

02:13:42.000 Is it Submission Underground?

02:13:43.000 Yeah.

02:13:44.000 This shit was super underground.

02:13:45.000 Super.

02:13:46.000 Super.

02:13:46.000 No one even knew it was happening.

02:13:47.000 We had no idea.

02:13:48.000 Yeah.

02:13:48.000 Seven people watched.

02:13:50.000 Did you see Vinny Magalais refusing to tap, though, and Craig Jones snapped his ankle?

02:13:54.000 Oh, no.

02:13:55.000 Did he?

02:13:56.000 He broke his tibia.

02:13:57.000 Jesus Christ.

02:13:58.000 His tibia or his fibula?

02:13:59.000 One of his shin bones.

02:14:00.000 Popped his shit?

02:14:01.000 He broke.

02:14:02.000 Snapped it.

02:14:02.000 Too much pride.

02:14:03.000 But you could see the angle when he's got him in the heel hook, and you could see the angle that his leg is in, where all the pressure's on it, and then you see it go kind of sideways.

02:14:12.000 And you're like, that can't be good.

02:14:13.000 And apparently they were talking.

02:14:14.000 Well, they were talking.

02:14:15.000 I watched the match.

02:14:16.000 And Chael's like, what are they saying to each other?

02:14:19.000 But Vinny was saying, you broke my leg.

02:14:21.000 While they were still going.

02:14:22.000 Holy fuck.

02:14:23.000 Yeah.

02:14:24.000 He got it more than once, too.

02:14:26.000 What a fucking stud.

02:14:27.000 He grabbed that same leg more than once.

02:14:28.000 So he's grinding on it.

02:14:30.000 He's got this broken shin bone.

02:14:33.000 And then he's digging on it with another heel hook.

02:14:35.000 I wonder how many people watch that.

02:14:37.000 Four.

02:14:38.000 It was me and three other drunks.

02:14:41.000 Three degenerates.

02:14:43.000 I mean, it's on UFC Fight Pass.

02:14:44.000 There it is.

02:14:45.000 So he gets it.

02:14:46.000 And Craig Jones, by the way, one of the very best grapplers on the planet Earth.

02:14:50.000 Yes.

02:14:50.000 And Vinny was like, I don't tap to heel hooks.

02:14:53.000 I don't tap to heel hooks.

02:14:54.000 That's what he said.

02:14:54.000 I don't tap to leg locks.

02:14:56.000 So, right there, he's standing up.

02:14:59.000 He got up slow.

02:14:59.000 He got up weird, too.

02:15:01.000 Like, his left leg is shot right there.

02:15:03.000 Watch again on Instagram.

02:15:05.000 So, he snapped that shit.

02:15:07.000 So, he's got it.

02:15:08.000 It's a terrible angle, too.

02:15:10.000 Like, look at that right there.

02:15:11.000 Oh, fuck, dude.

02:15:12.000 So, it's broken.

02:15:13.000 So, he broke the bottom of his shin.

02:15:17.000 And that's really dangerous, too, because when you get a break like that, you get infections, you could lose a leg.

02:15:22.000 It's really bad.

02:15:23.000 Vinny's such a stud.

02:15:24.000 Oh, he's an animal.

02:15:26.000 Vinny's an animal.

02:15:27.000 I mean, he's basically all waiting on his right leg, but his left leg's gone.

02:15:29.000 Think how much that dude's grown since Ultimate Fighter.

02:15:32.000 A lot.

02:15:33.000 He got to the finals of that PFL million-dollar thing.

02:15:38.000 By the way, Rory went over to the PFL now, huh?

02:15:41.000 Kind of weird, right?

02:15:42.000 Yeah.

02:15:43.000 It must have made him a big offer.

02:15:45.000 Yeah.

02:15:48.000 Didn't Vinny make it to the finals?

02:15:49.000 Yes.

02:15:50.000 Was it the finals?

02:15:51.000 Made it to the finals of the Ultimate Fighter, and he got knocked out by Ryan Bader.

02:15:54.000 Good call, dude.

02:15:55.000 And then he went over to that PFL thing, and he got knocked out by that dude that's a sports broadcaster.

02:16:01.000 He's a radio broadcaster.

02:16:02.000 Yeah, now he's doing that.

02:16:03.000 Sean.

02:16:04.000 Sean.

02:16:04.000 He does the commercials for him, too.

02:16:06.000 God damn it.

02:16:07.000 He fought in the UFC. Really tough guy.

02:16:10.000 Not Evans.

02:16:11.000 Find out...

02:16:14.000 PFL, light heavyweight, TKO'd him.

02:16:17.000 He TKO'd him in the finals.

02:16:19.000 But then he had success in PFL. He needed time.

02:16:25.000 The UFC, there's no time, dude.

02:16:27.000 He needed to learn how to really strike.

02:16:29.000 You know, he needed to really understand.

02:16:30.000 UFC's impossible if he can't strike.

02:16:32.000 It's impossible.

02:16:33.000 Especially these days, it's fucking impossible.

02:16:35.000 Sean O'Connell.

02:16:36.000 Yeah, there you go.

02:16:37.000 He did fight in the UFC. Didn't go well for him either.

02:16:39.000 Shout out for him.

02:16:40.000 Shout out for him.

02:16:41.000 Well, tough guy.

02:16:42.000 Really fucking tough guy.

02:16:43.000 Didn't go bad for him in the UFC, but, you know, he's...

02:16:46.000 You know, he's another guy that's sort of developing on the job.

02:16:50.000 Dude, the UFC posted a clip.

02:16:52.000 They didn't tag me.

02:16:53.000 Whatever.

02:16:54.000 They posted a clip from the Ultimate Fighter 10. I saw that, yeah.

02:16:58.000 Dude, I have so many good memories from that.

02:17:02.000 I've never watched it.

02:17:04.000 I haven't seen it since.

02:17:05.000 God, what a time.

02:17:07.000 What a fucking huge time for me, man.

02:17:10.000 Justin Wren with short hair.

02:17:11.000 Yeah.

02:17:12.000 Justin Wren.

02:17:13.000 He had Roy in there.

02:17:14.000 Yeah.

02:17:15.000 It was nuts.

02:17:16.000 Oh.

02:17:18.000 Such a good time.

02:17:19.000 I hope they still do the Ultimate Fighter, man.

02:17:21.000 They are gonna do it again.

02:17:22.000 Yeah, they've signed on.

02:17:24.000 Not with Styles, though.

02:17:25.000 No.

02:17:26.000 Just no.

02:17:27.000 He's so funny on Instagram.

02:17:29.000 It's hilarious.

02:17:29.000 I think it was Twitter when he said that.

02:17:31.000 In an interview I saw, he said, Dana said that the Ultimate Fighter is going to be at the Apex Center, along with the fourth fight in two weeks on the 23rd, which I don't think has been announced yet.

02:17:43.000 Dude, are we doing a fight campaign next week?

02:17:44.000 Oh, yeah, we should.

02:17:45.000 Fuck yeah.

02:17:46.000 What night?

02:17:46.000 Is it Saturday night?

02:17:47.000 Thursday and Saturday.

02:17:49.000 Thursday and Saturday?

02:17:50.000 Pick your poison, bros.

02:17:51.000 Wow.

02:17:51.000 13th and 16th.

02:17:52.000 Let's see the cards.

02:17:53.000 Glover Teixeira and your boy, Anthony Smith.

02:17:56.000 Anthony Smith.

02:17:57.000 Ooh, I like that.

02:17:58.000 I love that fight.

02:17:59.000 That's interesting.

02:18:00.000 Chael said that that's the guy who has the hardest time finding submission matches for, is Anthony Smith.

02:18:05.000 I'm like, that's weird.

02:18:07.000 No.

02:18:07.000 Yeah, that's what he said.

02:18:09.000 Apparently, Anthony Smith's very, very good on the ground.

02:18:13.000 Glover Teixeira is fucking good on the ground.

02:18:15.000 Go back to that, please.

02:18:15.000 Oh, I was trying to get the card.

02:18:16.000 I've had to grapple with that.

02:18:18.000 Yeah, but just go back to what you got there.

02:18:20.000 Okay, so Walt Harris and Alistair Overeem.

02:18:22.000 That's Saturday.

02:18:23.000 Smith, Teixeira, and then...

02:18:24.000 Okay.

02:18:25.000 Hey, why does it say Smith, Teixeira?

02:18:27.000 Wednesday, though.

02:18:28.000 The 13th.

02:18:28.000 I thought it was Thursday.

02:18:30.000 13th and 16th.

02:18:31.000 I don't know.

02:18:32.000 Which one do you want to do, Joe?

02:18:34.000 I don't know, man.

02:18:36.000 Let's look at the cards.

02:18:36.000 So look at Smith, Teixeira.

02:18:38.000 They're all in Jacksonville.

02:18:39.000 Ben Rothwell and Ovin St. Prue.

02:18:41.000 Ovin St. Prue's going up to heavyweight, huh?

02:18:42.000 He's asking me so fat.

02:18:44.000 Interesting.

02:18:45.000 PH fat.

02:18:46.000 Drew Dober, Alexander Hernandez.

02:18:48.000 I like that fight a lot.

02:18:49.000 Dude, Drew Dober is a guy that people...

02:18:52.000 He's a dog.

02:18:52.000 He's a fucking dog.

02:18:54.000 Denver kid.

02:18:55.000 He's an under-look guy.

02:18:56.000 He's a Denver kid now.

02:18:57.000 And I was super impressed with him in his last fight.

02:18:59.000 Alex Hernandez is no joke, man.

02:19:01.000 That's a tough fight for Drew.

02:19:02.000 Ray Borg and Ricky Simone.

02:19:04.000 Shout out to Ray Borg.

02:19:05.000 Ray Borg's going up to 35, huh?

02:19:07.000 Because Ricky Simone's a 35er, right?

02:19:09.000 Bantamweight.

02:19:09.000 Unless Ricky Simone is going down.

02:19:12.000 Is Ricky going down?

02:19:13.000 It's at Bantamweight.

02:19:13.000 It is at Bantamweight.

02:19:14.000 That's right.

02:19:17.000 Carl Roberson's another bad motherfucker.

02:19:19.000 Ooh, against Marvin Vittori.

02:19:21.000 That's a good fight.

02:19:22.000 That's the Italian kid, right?

02:19:23.000 Yes.

02:19:24.000 And Roberson's super talented, man.

02:19:27.000 Arlovsky.

02:19:28.000 How dare you put him on the pre-lens?

02:19:30.000 Who's Felipe Linz?

02:19:31.000 Who's that guy?

02:19:33.000 They came to give him a pre-con.

02:19:34.000 They're on a photo of him.

02:19:35.000 Probably some fucking monster from Norway or some shit.

02:19:38.000 Who's Michael Johnson fighting?

02:19:39.000 Do you know that guy?

02:19:40.000 Tiago Moises?

02:19:41.000 I don't.

02:19:43.000 Soraya Eubanks.

02:19:43.000 Remember poor Soraya Eubanks?

02:19:45.000 She got the title shot, everyone shit on her, and then they took her off of it?

02:19:49.000 Yeah.

02:19:50.000 Brian Keller.

02:19:51.000 Yeah, they gave her a title shot, and everybody went, boo!

02:19:53.000 And they were like, alright.

02:19:55.000 The UFC said, alright, my bad, my bad, my bad, my bad.

02:19:57.000 Take it off.

02:19:58.000 Interesting.

02:20:00.000 So that's a decent card.

02:20:02.000 Is that the Wednesday card?

02:20:04.000 We can learn about QAnon.

02:20:07.000 Yeah, you're right.

02:20:11.000 I can't let Eddie get drunk, though.

02:20:14.000 And spew some COVID shit?

02:20:16.000 So this is a better card.

02:20:18.000 This is a Saturday night card?

02:20:20.000 That's a much better card.

02:20:21.000 Okay, you got Chito Vera, Marlon Vera versus Sonia Dong.

02:20:23.000 That's a good fight.

02:20:24.000 Scroll up, though.

02:20:25.000 Eric Yaboy, Anderson versus Christophe Jocto.

02:20:28.000 That's a very good fight, too.

02:20:30.000 Barboza versus Dan Ige.

02:20:32.000 I love that.

02:20:32.000 I want to see what Barboza looks like at 45. And I do love that Claude Gigadalia-Angela Hill fight.

02:20:38.000 That's a great fight.

02:20:40.000 Overeem and Walt Harris.

02:20:41.000 That should be fun.

02:20:42.000 It's a better card.

02:20:43.000 Alright, that's where we're going.

02:20:44.000 It's a fun card.

02:20:44.000 We'll see what else they got there.

02:20:45.000 And this is the rest.

02:20:46.000 Hold on.

02:20:47.000 Go to the top.

02:20:48.000 Anthony Hernandez versus Kevin Holland.

02:20:50.000 That's a very good fight.

02:20:54.000 Damn, Courtney Case in the long face.

02:20:56.000 Yes.

02:20:57.000 Yes.

02:20:58.000 Okay.

02:20:58.000 All right.

02:20:59.000 Saturday nights it is.

02:21:00.000 Saturday night.

02:21:02.000 Beautiful.

02:21:03.000 Okay.

02:21:03.000 Fight companion.

02:21:04.000 Get the cigars.

02:21:06.000 Bring in the fucking QAnon robes.

02:21:09.000 What do they wear?

02:21:10.000 Call Gino.

02:21:10.000 Call Gino?

02:21:11.000 What should we get for Eddie?

02:21:12.000 You won't let him have any drinks.

02:21:14.000 I'm not opposed to him having a drink.

02:21:17.000 There's something that happens when he clicks over and he gets those shark eyes.

02:21:21.000 It's like three drinks in, he's gone.

02:21:23.000 It's insane.

02:21:23.000 He takes over the show.

02:21:25.000 It's hilarious to it.

02:21:26.000 He doesn't listen.

02:21:27.000 No, he just powers through it, doesn't he?

02:21:31.000 Well, it's just drunk Eddie.

02:21:33.000 It's two Eddies.

02:21:34.000 Maybe just one.

02:21:35.000 Maybe weed and wine.

02:21:38.000 I think wine's a good one with him.

02:21:40.000 No, that was...

02:21:41.000 Whiskey brings out the fucking devil in him.

02:21:43.000 Brings out the Indian that Joey Diaz says.

02:21:46.000 He ain't lying.

02:21:47.000 Well, yeah.

02:21:48.000 I don't think Joey Diaz would leave the house, but we should get him on one.

02:21:51.000 He's been here twice.

02:21:52.000 Oh, he will leave the house.

02:21:54.000 Oh, yeah.

02:21:54.000 He doesn't give a fuck.

02:21:55.000 He's not scared of coronavirus.

02:21:56.000 Oh, fuck.

02:21:58.000 Yeah, he's not scared of it.

02:21:59.000 Love to see him.

02:22:02.000 Yeah, he's upset by all this, too, though.

02:22:04.000 He's ready to move.

02:22:05.000 Joey will move with us.

02:22:08.000 Joey's in.

02:22:08.000 I think Theo's in.

02:22:09.000 Where's Theo going?

02:22:11.000 Wherever we go, he's in.

02:22:13.000 Brian's in.

02:22:14.000 Who else?

02:22:15.000 Callan's ready to go?

02:22:16.000 Callan'd go, for sure.

02:22:17.000 Callan won't even leave Venice.

02:22:19.000 He's had a homeless invasion.

02:22:21.000 There's zombies on his street.

02:22:22.000 If we all leave, he has no one.

02:22:23.000 He'll go with us.

02:22:24.000 Especially if I go find the kids coming over here.

02:22:26.000 What do you think about Utah?

02:22:28.000 I like Utah.

02:22:29.000 I'll just come here in the summers.

02:22:31.000 It's not a bad move.

02:22:32.000 Or in the winters, sorry.

02:22:33.000 Not a bad move.

02:22:34.000 I know.

02:22:34.000 Not a bad move at all.

02:22:36.000 Utah's dope.

02:22:37.000 Good trails up there.

02:22:38.000 Mountain biking.

02:22:39.000 I bet the laws are better.

02:22:43.000 I bet they're a little looser with things.

02:22:45.000 Everyone's pretty cool over there.

02:22:47.000 It also has the stigma.

02:22:48.000 They've already had one cult go there.

02:22:50.000 I think Burt will roll with us.

02:22:52.000 Burt will go.

02:22:54.000 Maybe.

02:22:54.000 I think Burt likes California.

02:22:56.000 Burt likes to stay Hollywood, but he likes to lie about it.

02:23:00.000 Agree.

02:23:01.000 He's pretty Hollywood.

02:23:02.000 But if we lock down again, you'd be not so Hollywood, dude.

02:23:05.000 Bro, I'm on some fucking text messages where they are shitting on Jerry Seinfeld's special.

02:23:09.000 Woof!

02:23:10.000 Oh, really?

02:23:11.000 Woof!

02:23:11.000 The first clip they posted was no bueno.

02:23:14.000 Some text message chains that I'm involved in with comics.

02:23:18.000 Like, woof!

02:23:19.000 I saw one said, your special's been on Jerry Seinfeld's.

02:23:21.000 I went, this thing must be terrible.

02:23:25.000 He looks uncomfortable.

02:23:28.000 It looks like he's uncomfortable.

02:23:30.000 It's not bad in the sense that.

02:23:33.000 But he's been doing old material for so long.

02:23:37.000 Part of his whole thing was he would do specials, but he would do specials with old material.

02:23:42.000 He doesn't believe in switching an hour all the time.

02:23:44.000 This is a new hour, though.

02:23:45.000 This is a whole new hour.

02:23:46.000 Yeah, but he's probably been running it for 19 years.

02:23:50.000 Because his old specials were of his old material.

02:23:53.000 He's like, new special of my old material, that special I've done before.

02:23:56.000 I was like, hey dude!

02:23:57.000 Isn't that weird?

02:23:58.000 And I love Jerry.

02:23:58.000 He's the biggest Porsche guy.

02:24:00.000 Oh yeah.

02:24:01.000 The biggest Porsche guy.

02:24:02.000 Oh yeah.

02:24:02.000 He owns like hundreds of Porsches.

02:24:04.000 He's the Porsche guy.

02:24:05.000 If you go to Malibu, the market there, him and his boy Spike are out there all the time.

02:24:09.000 Oh really?

02:24:10.000 All the time.

02:24:11.000 And they do a podcast of just Porsches out there.

02:24:13.000 Do they really?

02:24:13.000 Yeah.

02:24:14.000 Just Porsche podcast?

02:24:16.000 Just Porsches.

02:24:18.000 Sounds like a bad idea.

02:24:19.000 Comics love when other comics have questionable specials.

02:24:23.000 They really do.

02:24:25.000 I don't think I've ever heard a comic go, dude, have you seen this special?

02:24:29.000 Besides like Chappelle.

02:24:30.000 Every comic wants to go, dude, oh, that's terrible.

02:24:32.000 I'm like, oh, come on, dude.

02:24:34.000 There's a lot of comics that enjoy when someone, especially someone that's not in their circle, has a bad special.

02:24:41.000 I know.

02:24:42.000 It's unfortunate.

02:24:43.000 I know.

02:24:44.000 I had this talk with Delia.

02:24:47.000 I think one of the reasons his special was like the number three most watched thing in America.

02:24:51.000 It's huge.

02:24:52.000 If you get tore right now, you're talking about a different level.

02:24:54.000 And I think one of the reasons he gets hate is his demo is similar to mine.

02:24:59.000 It's 18 to 36 males.

02:25:01.000 And that's where you're going to get a lot of hate, man.

02:25:03.000 Those are the guys on the internet.

02:25:06.000 So for him, I was like, dude, I know you're coming out special.

02:25:08.000 It's going to be great, whatever happens.

02:25:09.000 But just know, your demo is young, dude.

02:25:12.000 So the haters are going to come out, man.

02:25:13.000 Brace yourself.

02:25:14.000 But that thing was a huge success.

02:25:16.000 Did the haters come out for him?

02:25:17.000 I haven't looked, I'm sure.

02:25:19.000 But I don't think he gives a flying fuck in his mansion in Bel Air, you know?

02:25:23.000 I think everybody cares.

02:25:26.000 You told me this from the get-go.

02:25:27.000 You cannot read that stuff, dude.

02:25:30.000 You can't.

02:25:31.000 It's damn near impossible, but you have to.

02:25:33.000 I had someone run my account when my Switch came in.

02:25:36.000 I don't want to deal with any of it.

02:25:37.000 Just keep moving.

02:25:38.000 You keep moving, dude.

02:25:39.000 Yeah.

02:25:39.000 You know when things are good and you know when things are not good.

02:25:42.000 Just when things are bad, use that as fuel to make the next things better and keep moving.

02:25:46.000 You know in here, dude.

02:25:48.000 Yeah.

02:25:48.000 You know in here.

02:25:49.000 You know.

02:25:50.000 I don't need people to tell me.

02:25:52.000 I know.

02:25:52.000 And then you go on the road.

02:25:53.000 And then you get better.

02:25:54.000 And you get better.

02:25:55.000 And you get better.

02:25:56.000 And that's what you do.

02:25:57.000 I want to see what people do when this is over.

02:25:59.000 What it's going to be like watching someone's first set in three months.

02:26:03.000 It's going to be like running in mud.

02:26:05.000 Everybody's going to be clunky as fuck.

02:26:08.000 Except for Tim Dillon.

02:26:09.000 It's not going to be like, yeah, Tim's like, he's basically doing stand-up with his rants.

02:26:14.000 Yes.

02:26:14.000 He's so funny.

02:26:16.000 I loved him.

02:26:17.000 I loved him too.

02:26:18.000 I think that it's going to be interesting because everyone is going to be stale.

02:26:22.000 It's not, or flat.

02:26:24.000 It's not going to be like most, like, if you go to the store and you're on the lineup and you haven't done stand-up in three months, everybody else is doing it every night.

02:26:33.000 And it's going to show.

02:26:34.000 Yeah, it'll show.

02:26:36.000 But for the audience, there'll be a contrast.

02:26:39.000 This way, there's not going to really be a contrast.

02:26:42.000 It's going to be everyone seems slow and clunky.

02:26:45.000 I bet people are going to be gung-ho to see the first day back.

02:26:48.000 Can you imagine walking down the hallway?

02:26:51.000 We're going to be hugging each other.

02:26:53.000 I can't wait.

02:26:54.000 I can't wait.

02:26:54.000 I can't wait for the first day back.

02:26:57.000 I mean, when the first day opens, when the comedy store opens, if I'm home that day, I'm on stage.

02:27:03.000 100%.

02:27:04.000 And also, I want to give all the money to the waiters and the waitresses.

02:27:07.000 100%?

02:27:08.000 100% of the money to the wait staff.

02:27:09.000 I was giving my money anyways.

02:27:11.000 Yeah, but I mean...

02:27:12.000 You mean the whole door.

02:27:13.000 I think they...

02:27:14.000 I'll give it to them.

02:27:16.000 I'll sell out shows and give it to them.

02:27:18.000 Those fucking people didn't do anything wrong.

02:27:20.000 They always work real hard.

02:27:22.000 Oh, they're the best.

02:27:22.000 And they got fucked over.

02:27:23.000 The bastard.

02:27:24.000 They got fucked over by this thing, because they're the people that are really paycheck to paycheck, and then this thing just dries up on them.

02:27:30.000 It's brutal.

02:27:32.000 I think every comic, I think people at the Comedy Store, and comics on the road, and everything, it's just gonna make us appreciate it so much more, and you have such a more respect for it, and I take it for granted.

02:27:44.000 I think there's light at the end of the tunnel for everybody, man.

02:27:47.000 I hope so, but this fucking governor needs to open this shit up, let people take their own chances.

02:27:53.000 Let people decide.

02:27:54.000 They know what it is now.

02:27:55.000 Dude, when they gave me a ticket on my fucking bike in the middle of nowhere, I was listening to Rage Against the Machine.

02:28:00.000 I wanted to fucking start a protest at Governor Newsom's house.

02:28:04.000 I was this close to fucking organizing one for a $60 ticket.

02:28:11.000 They're going crazy now in, like, Huntington Beach and Newport and all those places where they're protesting.

02:28:16.000 And I love it.

02:28:17.000 There's a hilarious video.

02:28:18.000 On the video, the guy goes, Bill Gates is the devil!

02:28:21.000 I love that video!

02:28:22.000 He's saying all these things that seem like they kind of make sense, and then he goes, Bill Gates is the devil!

02:28:29.000 And I'm like, that, okay...

02:28:31.000 You lost everybody at Bill Gates the devil.

02:28:34.000 Well, kind of.

02:28:35.000 Is he, though?

02:28:36.000 I don't know if he's the devil, but he's a little over...

02:28:39.000 He has too much of an interest in vaccines.

02:28:41.000 Yeah, financial interest.

02:28:42.000 How much money do you need, dude?

02:28:43.000 How much money do you need?

02:28:44.000 Get the fuck out, man.

02:28:46.000 Because you and I had obviously a friendly bet, and you were like, I hope you're right.

02:28:50.000 Because when Governor Newsom went, beaches are closed, and then we have this text chain with you, me, and Cal and Eddie, and I go, dude, I'm telling you, people aren't going to put up with it.

02:28:58.000 I said, I guarantee you 10,000 plus show up.

02:29:01.000 You went, all right, let's bet.

02:29:02.000 I went, let's bet.

02:29:03.000 Friendly bet.

02:29:04.000 I think you won.

02:29:05.000 I won.

02:29:05.000 Oh, yeah, I won.

02:29:06.000 Yeah, it's over, right?

02:29:07.000 Oh, yeah.

02:29:08.000 Yeah, okay, I owe you a hundred bucks.

02:29:10.000 Yeah, whatever.

02:29:10.000 But I think that, you know, I think that we need more of those protests for things to really change.

02:29:16.000 You know, for him to...

02:29:17.000 It's our right!

02:29:18.000 They keep saying, like, apparently they're suing the governor of Michigan.

02:29:23.000 And Illinois.

02:29:24.000 Illinois as well?

02:29:25.000 Yeah.

02:29:25.000 Michigan, that lady, she's trying to extend everything.

02:29:28.000 And then did you see in...

02:29:29.000 I think it was Texas...

02:29:31.000 They go, we're going to start fining people for this, this, and this.

02:29:33.000 Or maybe it was California.

02:29:35.000 But the sheriff who goes, we're not going to do that.

02:29:39.000 You guys got to do your thing.

02:29:40.000 We're not going to give people fines.

02:29:41.000 And the governor's like, all right, fuck.

02:29:43.000 It shows you really, if people really don't give a fuck, the government can't do shit.

02:29:47.000 It's real close to people turning on him because so many people are losing their jobs.

02:29:51.000 So many people are losing their businesses.

02:29:54.000 Look, there's methods to stay safe.

02:29:57.000 They know that you can be tested.

02:30:00.000 Everybody can get tested.

02:30:01.000 You can have a certificate that shows you've been tested.

02:30:03.000 And then you can go to a restaurant.

02:30:05.000 And not wear masks.

02:30:06.000 And not wear masks.

02:30:06.000 I'll walk around with a fucking t-shirt that says, I'm good.

02:30:11.000 Let me do that, dude.

02:30:13.000 Yeah, I'm good t-shirt.

02:30:14.000 I'm good.

02:30:16.000 Back off.

02:30:17.000 Back off.

02:30:17.000 Fat guy, security guard at the coffee place, back off, bro.

02:30:22.000 Put the mask on!

02:30:23.000 Oh, dude.

02:30:24.000 And then he went to the manager.

02:30:25.000 It was like this.

02:30:26.000 He pointed me out.

02:30:27.000 I'm like, ah, dude.

02:30:28.000 You're lucky I'm nice.

02:30:29.000 I don't know if it...

02:30:31.000 This didn't happen here.

02:30:32.000 I'm trying to remember the state because I just saw it last night.

02:30:34.000 But the people that were like...

02:30:35.000 They encouraged snitching or whatever.

02:30:37.000 Yeah, yeah.

02:30:37.000 There was a database that got leaked.

02:30:39.000 And people who snitched, their names got put out.

02:30:43.000 Yes!

02:30:44.000 They're afraid that people are going to find out that they snitched.

02:30:48.000 That's what you get, dude.

02:30:49.000 That's what you get.

02:30:51.000 Snitches get stitches.

02:30:54.000 That's what you get, bitch.

02:30:55.000 People don't like that.

02:30:56.000 You know how insane that is?

02:30:57.000 That our fucking governor came out and said, snitch on these people?

02:31:01.000 It's on our governor.

02:31:02.000 It's the mayor, Mayor Garcetti.

02:31:03.000 That's right.

02:31:04.000 Mayor of LA. But the thing is, it's not what we thought it was.

02:31:07.000 If it was killing people left and right, like some horrible plague...

02:31:11.000 And, you know, we really do have to stay in home and lock down because there's a demon out there, an invisible demon.

02:31:17.000 That's what we thought it was.

02:31:18.000 It's not that.

02:31:19.000 It's not good, but it's not that.

02:31:22.000 Speaking of snitches get stitches, did...

02:31:24.000 Snitches get stitches.

02:31:25.000 Stitches don't get stitches.

02:31:26.000 Did Kim Jong-un fake his death?

02:31:28.000 Did we find out if that was true or not?

02:31:29.000 Yeah, he did.

02:31:29.000 He's healthy.

02:31:30.000 He's thriving.

02:31:31.000 As a matter of fact, he lost like six pounds.

02:31:33.000 To find out if people would tell and try to take his power, I think, is what I was reading.

02:31:37.000 Speaking of which...

02:31:38.000 He's done it before.

02:31:39.000 Do you remember Stitches, the rapper that had the big stupid tattoo on his face?

02:31:42.000 He's still out there.

02:31:43.000 Come on.

02:31:43.000 He's still selling cocaine and shit.

02:31:45.000 Really?

02:31:45.000 Yeah, yeah.

02:31:46.000 I mean, he's not as popular as he probably was three years ago.

02:31:50.000 He's not thriving.

02:31:50.000 He can't do any shows right now, but...

02:31:51.000 I'm sure he's still in the drug game.

02:31:53.000 Yeah, I could look him up right now.

02:31:54.000 It was more than three years ago, right?

02:31:56.000 Takeshi's out too right now.

02:31:58.000 Takeshi's out talking shit.

02:31:59.000 He's going live tomorrow or today.

02:32:01.000 On Instagram?

02:32:02.000 Talking about his new music.

02:32:03.000 He's got to record a video in his backyard.

02:32:05.000 You know, he turned down government security.

02:32:08.000 Because he said he would pay for it.

02:32:09.000 You know how expensive that is?

02:32:11.000 Well, he doesn't have anywhere to go right now, so it's not that expensive.

02:32:15.000 What do you think happens to him?

02:32:17.000 He's going to die.

02:32:18.000 Every blood in the world wants to kill him.

02:32:21.000 How many people did he rat out?

02:32:23.000 So many.

02:32:25.000 Now, did they let him out because they let him out, or did they let him out because of COVID? Both.

02:32:29.000 Yeah, he was let out early.

02:32:31.000 Because he snitched on everybody.

02:32:32.000 He was going to have maybe eight more months, so they just let him out and finished the rest of his time at home.

02:32:36.000 Dude, they're letting out so many people from jail that should be in jail for the rest of their life.

02:32:39.000 Yeah, like child molesters.

02:32:40.000 Yeah, it's like, I'm baffled.

02:32:44.000 And for what?

02:32:44.000 For this COVID? Are you out of their goddamn mind?

02:32:48.000 Everybody is out of their goddamn mind.

02:32:49.000 Yeah, you're right.

02:32:50.000 Like I'm saying- It's so disappointing.

02:32:51.000 I think people prepared and were anticipating something that was way more horrible.

02:32:56.000 And they can't go back.

02:32:57.000 They didn't make an adjustment.

02:32:58.000 They can't go back because they don't want to look stupid.

02:33:00.000 Like Governor Newsom, like, oh, fuck, now I look like an asshole.

02:33:02.000 I think Governor Newsom wants to be president.

02:33:04.000 I think that's the same thing with that woman who's the governor of Michigan.

02:33:09.000 It's the same thing, who's getting sued by the House.

02:33:12.000 She's getting sued by people in her own state because they're like, hey, you don't have the authority to do this.

02:33:18.000 And she's saying, I'm going with science and statistics.

02:33:21.000 But you're not, though.

02:33:23.000 Talk to my boy Elon.

02:33:24.000 Yeah.

02:33:25.000 What he says goes, dude.

02:33:26.000 But the thing is, she's on a short list of people that, for the vice presidency with Biden, that's what it is.

02:33:32.000 You ain't gonna win, bitch.

02:33:34.000 He's not gonna win.

02:33:34.000 You're not gonna win.

02:33:35.000 Are you kidding me?

02:33:36.000 He's not gonna win.

02:33:36.000 You got this rape allegation now, and then you also can't speak?

02:33:39.000 Yeah.

02:33:40.000 I mean, I speak better than you.

02:33:41.000 What are we talking about?

02:33:42.000 I have problems.

02:33:44.000 He's doomed.

02:33:44.000 I have a speech impediment.

02:33:45.000 I talk for a living.

02:33:46.000 I speak better than you.

02:33:48.000 He's so doomed.

02:33:50.000 He's so...

02:33:50.000 He's gonna die in four years.

02:33:52.000 He can't be as president.

02:33:53.000 He's just doomed, period.

02:33:55.000 Everything about him is doomed.

02:33:57.000 He can't talk, and it's like the allegations and the fact that people are showing such a fucking unbridled hypocrisy by supporting him while they were against all these other guys that were accused of sexual impropriety.

02:34:10.000 Just because they want Trump out.

02:34:12.000 They'll ignore everything, just get Trump out.

02:34:14.000 They want their team to win, and that's what they're showing.

02:34:16.000 They're showing it's not believe all women.

02:34:19.000 It's believe all women if they're accusing a man that you don't like.

02:34:22.000 It's insane.

02:34:23.000 I can't believe Trump and Biden are the best we got.

02:34:26.000 It's not the best we got.

02:34:27.000 It's because the smart people don't run for president.

02:34:29.000 Yeah.

02:34:30.000 That's what it is.

02:34:31.000 A lot of the smart ones don't.

02:34:32.000 There's some smart ones out there.

02:34:35.000 Yeah, but they don't seem to want that job.

02:34:37.000 I think Mark Cuban could do a good job.

02:34:39.000 I think he'd like to be president.

02:34:41.000 Agree.

02:34:41.000 I'd probably vote for him.

02:34:42.000 He's more of a libertarian.

02:34:43.000 You know what?

02:34:44.000 Mark, you know I love it.

02:34:45.000 He's being a real bitch about this COVID stuff.

02:34:47.000 He's like, I don't think the NBA should be back.

02:34:49.000 God damn it.

02:34:50.000 Recently?

02:34:51.000 Yeah, I think his mom's like 900 years old, so he's worried she's going to get it.

02:34:54.000 Well, take care of your mom, bro.

02:34:56.000 You worth billions.

02:34:57.000 Dude, put her in a bubble.

02:34:58.000 Dude, it's like the same...

02:34:59.000 It's like that Hollywood actor, that Indian guy who's in the Marvel movie, who's just preaching from the mountains.

02:35:06.000 Who's that?

02:35:07.000 Like, we're going to open up and this is going to get worse.

02:35:08.000 We should shut down.

02:35:09.000 Kumail Nanjiani, that guy?

02:35:12.000 Shut the fuck up, dude.

02:35:14.000 Make another Marvel movie.

02:35:16.000 He's just saying because his wife has an underlying condition, so he's worried about that, which I get, dude, from a personal standpoint.

02:35:22.000 I get that.

02:35:22.000 But also, read the stats.

02:35:24.000 You're smart.

02:35:25.000 He's super smart.

02:35:26.000 You're a smart dude, man.

02:35:27.000 There's...

02:35:28.000 I'm sure a little bit of that, but there's also a little bit of virtue signaling where people are saying things that they know that the enlightened, thoughtful people are supposed to say, and then they get support online.

02:35:38.000 They check the tweets.

02:35:39.000 Oh, look at all these people who agree with me.

02:35:40.000 Yay!

02:35:41.000 Look what I did.

02:35:42.000 I got them to like me more.

02:35:43.000 Hope I'm in fucking Spider-Man 9. Thank you for saying this.

02:35:47.000 You're amazing, by the way.

02:35:49.000 Every life matters.

02:35:52.000 Everyone has to say that.

02:35:53.000 Every life matters.

02:35:54.000 Yeah, well...

02:35:56.000 Where were you before this COVID thing?

02:35:57.000 Because people are dying all the time.

02:35:59.000 It's interesting to see that obesity is the number one factor in people in New York City.

02:36:05.000 Because all these people that want to think that it's okay to be obese, it's fine.

02:36:09.000 Yeah, fat's not cute, man.

02:36:11.000 No, they're not cute.

02:36:11.000 It's like really bad for you.

02:36:13.000 Yeah, dude.

02:36:14.000 Yeah, we've known this.

02:36:15.000 Yeah, forever.

02:36:16.000 And then COVID comes and goes, oh, this is too easy.

02:36:18.000 And then if this doesn't scare your fat ass into shape...

02:36:20.000 But do you think that people, like with all this fat shaming mentality out there, that people will, that the government or someone, public health, will step up and have some sort of a public health campaign saying, look, folks, you've got to lose weight.

02:36:35.000 You've got to stop eating sugar.

02:36:36.000 It's terrible for your immune system.

02:36:38.000 Get yourself down to a reasonable size.

02:36:40.000 Yeah.

02:36:40.000 I would love to see that and see what the people freak out about it and all the people that try to counter it with emotions and bullshit.

02:36:47.000 It's alright to have tits.

02:36:48.000 Stop trying to define beauty standards.

02:36:51.000 Muffin tops are cool.

02:36:53.000 Yeah, I don't know what you're going to do, man.

02:36:55.000 I saw a video.

02:36:56.000 I don't know what I saw.

02:36:57.000 I saw a video...

02:36:59.000 I think maybe Josh Weff showed it.

02:37:01.000 It was a video of kids in the 70s in a gym class.

02:37:04.000 Just a random gym class.

02:37:05.000 These kids were all in fucking phenomenal shape.

02:37:08.000 There's like 100 kids.

02:37:10.000 Everyone's slim.

02:37:11.000 Everyone's slim.

02:37:12.000 That's how it should be, man.

02:37:14.000 I know I'm a little thick, but I'm in shape, dude.

02:37:16.000 My heart's great.

02:37:16.000 My rest of my heart rate's insane.

02:37:18.000 But these kids were all in shape, man.

02:37:20.000 All these kids.

02:37:21.000 You go to high school now, every kid gets a letter from his mom.

02:37:25.000 Oh, he can't work out because of, you know...

02:37:27.000 Billy has sore ankles.

02:37:29.000 Billy gets anxiety when you make him run a mile.

02:37:31.000 It's like, what the fuck?

02:37:32.000 I had to run a mile.

02:37:33.000 Yes, Billy's anxious.

02:37:35.000 Billy gets anxious.

02:37:36.000 He needs to have his dog with him.

02:37:38.000 Billy doesn't respond well to pressure.

02:37:40.000 Leave him alone.

02:37:41.000 Leave him alone.

02:37:43.000 God.

02:37:43.000 God damn it.

02:37:44.000 One thing that we saw from this is that there's so many people that don't know how to deal with any sort of adversity.

02:37:51.000 I can't be their friend.

02:37:53.000 I have people who I used to talk to And when this thing came out, we're just going to bunker down, and I think the comedy store is going to be closed in 2022, and we're not going to be on the road anymore.

02:38:03.000 Who?

02:38:04.000 I'm not going to tell you.

02:38:05.000 Say the names.

02:38:06.000 Nope, I can't.

02:38:07.000 What do they rhyme with?

02:38:08.000 What does the names rhyme with?

02:38:09.000 I'm not going to do it.

02:38:09.000 I'll tell you afterwards.

02:38:10.000 Okay.

02:38:11.000 I literally went...

02:38:12.000 We can't be friends anymore.

02:38:13.000 Oh, wow.

02:38:14.000 You can't be my foxhole, dude.

02:38:16.000 This scared you?

02:38:17.000 Oh, this ain't shit, bubba.

02:38:18.000 Well, we can't be friends anymore.

02:38:20.000 I literally don't talk to him.

02:38:22.000 I'm anxious to talk to Michael Yeo on Monday.

02:38:25.000 The way he was describing it, like...

02:38:28.000 Be cool, Michael.

02:38:30.000 Be cool, man.

02:38:31.000 You got through it, bro.

02:38:32.000 He's gonna scare the fuck out of everybody.

02:38:34.000 He thought he was gonna die.

02:38:36.000 But he got pneumonia.

02:38:38.000 But here's the thing.

02:38:39.000 Pneumonia is still real.

02:38:40.000 People still get pneumonia.

02:38:42.000 People die from pneumonia all the time.

02:38:43.000 And if you get pneumonia, end that.

02:38:44.000 I got pneumonia when I was 19. Yeah.

02:38:46.000 If you get pneumonia...

02:38:47.000 My son got pneumonia, too.

02:38:48.000 ...end that, you're fucked.

02:38:49.000 And that's what happened with him.

02:38:51.000 But you still survived.

02:38:52.000 Don't come on here and fucking scare...

02:38:53.000 Michael, yo, I will fuck you up.

02:38:55.000 Don't come on here and scare everybody, dude.

02:38:57.000 We have...

02:38:59.000 We get enough, man.

02:39:00.000 You ever watch CNN? You would think the world's on fire.

02:39:05.000 What's that guy's name, Brian Stelter?

02:39:07.000 He's my favorite.

02:39:08.000 He's a chubby guy.

02:39:09.000 He's like the balder, chubby guy.

02:39:11.000 He's rarely on there.

02:39:12.000 He's very effeminate.

02:39:12.000 It's more lemon.

02:39:13.000 Yeah, but I love when he's all doom and gloom.

02:39:17.000 Oh, God.

02:39:19.000 Tim Dillon tweeted this last night.

02:39:21.000 This was interesting.

02:39:22.000 That's where I saw it from, but it's on Newsweek.

02:39:24.000 What is this?

02:39:25.000 Coronavirus survivors permanently disqualified from joining U.S. military recruitment memo suggests.

02:39:30.000 What would that be for?

02:39:32.000 Tim said, what does the Pentagon know that we don't know?

02:39:35.000 But that says U.S. recruitment memo suggests.

02:39:38.000 That's permanently disqualified.

02:39:40.000 See, these standards change all the time.

02:39:43.000 This is based on what?

02:39:45.000 I mean, if they show that you can completely 100% recover from coronavirus, that doesn't make any sense.

02:39:50.000 I doubt that's true.

02:39:52.000 I think that memo is probably in response to this idea that it could be a reoccurring infection.

02:40:00.000 That was something that people thought.

02:40:03.000 What happened there?

02:40:05.000 Those who have tested positive for COVID-19 are no longer eligible for military service.

02:40:09.000 Get the fuck out of here.

02:40:11.000 No way.

02:40:12.000 But we don't know if that's true.

02:40:13.000 During the screening process, a reported history of confirmed COVID-19 will be an annotated Consider disqualifying.

02:40:23.000 Reported history of confirmed...

02:40:24.000 Eh.

02:40:25.000 I'm not buying that.

02:40:26.000 I'm not buying it.

02:40:27.000 I'm not buying that.

02:40:28.000 Fake news.

02:40:29.000 Yeah, that could shift back and forth, and that's probably just fear-mongering.

02:40:33.000 That'd be insane.

02:40:33.000 Yeah, that's some bullshit.

02:40:34.000 Some old bullshit.

02:40:35.000 Cuomo came up on the come-up, right, during this?

02:40:39.000 Andrew Cuomo?

02:40:39.000 Yeah, he did.

02:40:40.000 But, again, if you look back what he did initially...

02:40:45.000 Initially, where New York had their problem was at the old folks' home.

02:40:49.000 And what he did, anybody at the old folks' home who got COVID, he went, unless you're showing symptoms, get back in there.

02:40:56.000 So then they all got it and they all fucking died.

02:40:59.000 It's like, dude, you fucked up, man.

02:41:02.000 You kind of fucked them.

02:41:04.000 Well, I think in the beginning, no one knew exactly what the fuck was going on.

02:41:07.000 I mean, in January, the World Health Organization tweeted out.

02:41:10.000 The World Health Organization, the one that everybody's telling everybody that you have to listen to them.

02:41:15.000 In January, they tweeted out that there's no evidence, according to China, that you catch it person to person.

02:41:22.000 Which is insane.

02:41:23.000 But that's in January.

02:41:24.000 It's just insane.

02:41:25.000 No one listened to them in the first place.

02:41:27.000 But the other thing is, how about their estimates?

02:41:29.000 Two million people are going to die.

02:41:30.000 I know.

02:41:31.000 In America alone.

02:41:32.000 Get ready.

02:41:33.000 I know.

02:41:34.000 But they're saying, well, if we didn't have this lockdown, maybe that would have happened.

02:41:38.000 And then even Como came out and said, what I've realized is if we're doing the lockdown, it's spreading inside the families.

02:41:44.000 Yeah.

02:41:44.000 He's like, we're kind of fucked up there, so we don't know what to do.

02:41:46.000 Well, not just that.

02:41:47.000 There's also the concept of immunity, that your immune system really needs interaction with other people.

02:41:53.000 Look at Sweden, dude.

02:41:54.000 Sweden did nothing.

02:41:56.000 Numbers are similar to ours.

02:41:57.000 They did nothing.

02:41:58.000 Right.

02:41:58.000 I don't know.

02:41:59.000 Are their numbers similar to ours?

02:42:00.000 I thought their numbers were a little higher than the neighboring countries that did do social distancing in lockdown.

02:42:07.000 Bring that shit up, Jamie.

02:42:08.000 I don't know.

02:42:09.000 All I know is murder wasps are coming right now.

02:42:11.000 The murder wasps.

02:42:12.000 Jesus Christ.

02:42:13.000 Dude, if I have to avoid murder wasps and rattlesnakes, I'd have to stop biking.

02:42:17.000 We don't have a chance.

02:42:18.000 We don't have a chance to relax.

02:42:20.000 Let me chill, dude.

02:42:22.000 When did they become murder hornets?

02:42:24.000 Why do you call them murder hornets?

02:42:25.000 Murder bees.

02:42:26.000 It's not about murdering anything else.

02:42:27.000 I know, but when did they change their name?

02:42:31.000 They used to be Asian hornets.

02:42:33.000 Murder bees now, bro.

02:42:34.000 Murder hornets.

02:42:35.000 Much scared.

02:42:36.000 They call them wasps or hornets.

02:42:37.000 There's also killer bees that disappeared and came back for a while.

02:42:39.000 Yeah, but that was Africanized.

02:42:40.000 But the idea of killer bees is that they would swarm you.

02:42:43.000 Bees ain't shit.

02:42:44.000 This is a different thing.

02:42:45.000 This thing?

02:42:47.000 It's similar to this, though?

02:42:48.000 It's a similar size?

02:42:49.000 I think it's bigger.

02:42:50.000 I think they're bigger.

02:42:51.000 But here's the thing.

02:42:52.000 Are they murder wasps or murder hornets?

02:42:55.000 Murder wasps.

02:42:56.000 Wasps.

02:42:57.000 These wasps, like, they never called them murder wasps until like two weeks ago.

02:43:01.000 CNN got a hornet.

02:43:02.000 Someone had a great name.

02:43:03.000 It's a great name.

02:43:05.000 Murder hornet.

02:43:06.000 Murder hornet.

02:43:07.000 Okay.

02:43:07.000 So murder hornets.

02:43:09.000 I'm going to call this a murder hornet, by the way.

02:43:10.000 On my picture, I'm going to say I got a murder hornet.

02:43:12.000 Until two weeks ago.

02:43:13.000 I never heard that term.

02:43:14.000 Did you hear that term?

02:43:15.000 No, but it's terrifying.

02:43:17.000 I know.

02:43:17.000 When they go, murder hornets hit Washington, I'm like, well, they're coming to Cali, dude.

02:43:22.000 That Coyote Peterson guy, though, that guy got stung by one like two years ago.

02:43:26.000 That's some real pain.

02:43:27.000 They didn't call it a murder hornet.

02:43:28.000 It's because they're on America.

02:43:29.000 I don't give a fuck what's out in other parts of the world.

02:43:31.000 No, are they in Seattle?

02:43:33.000 Is that what happened?

02:43:33.000 They snuck in on some cargo ship?

02:43:36.000 No, no, no.

02:43:36.000 I thought they're in D.C. Oh, good.

02:43:38.000 I hope they only go to politicians.

02:43:41.000 Are they on the West Coast?

02:43:42.000 Right in the dick.

02:43:43.000 I thought it was Washington State.

02:43:45.000 Dude.

02:43:46.000 That's where everything seems to be hitting.

02:43:47.000 That's where the corona hit first.

02:43:50.000 Is that where it is?

02:43:52.000 Where's the murder hornets, Jamie?

02:43:57.000 They were discovered late last year in Washington State.

02:43:59.000 So it's not even relevant?

02:44:02.000 They've been chilling?

02:44:02.000 Two of them were discovered.

02:44:04.000 Some asshole probably had them as a pet and they're not even breeding.

02:44:07.000 We're just looking for something to be scared of now.

02:44:09.000 The media's got to sell clicks.

02:44:11.000 That got me.

02:44:12.000 They got you.

02:44:13.000 Corona didn't, but these murder wasps did.

02:44:16.000 I'll tell you that right now.

02:44:17.000 When I saw it, I'm like, ah, fuck, let's quarantine.

02:44:19.000 If that becomes an issue, like they start flying into people's houses and stinging people.

02:44:23.000 One of the two was found dead, and the other one flew off, so...

02:44:27.000 There's one?

02:44:30.000 We can't find?

02:44:31.000 That's really the fucking story?

02:44:32.000 That's what their story says in CBS? Goddammit.

02:44:35.000 Oh, well now this isn't too bad.

02:44:37.000 Goddammit, everyone sucks.

02:44:38.000 Fuck.

02:44:38.000 The media gets you, man.

02:44:40.000 They got me.

02:44:41.000 Well, that's their business.

02:44:41.000 Their business is to scare you.

02:44:42.000 The only way they make clicks.

02:44:44.000 How do you get clicks?

02:44:45.000 Someone's got to be scared of something or angry.

02:44:47.000 How do we get clicks?

02:44:49.000 We're funny.

02:44:50.000 Yeah.

02:44:51.000 By being real.

02:44:52.000 In Japan, they hunt them where insects are hunted and eaten.

02:44:55.000 30 to 50 people die per year.

02:44:57.000 That's a problem.

02:44:58.000 Oh, my God.

02:44:58.000 But they're hunting them, so.

02:45:00.000 There's a shitload of people die by rattlesnakes.

02:45:02.000 You ever looked up rattlesnake deaths?

02:45:03.000 I didn't know this.

02:45:05.000 They fuck you up, man.

02:45:06.000 Yeah, rattlesnakes are not good.

02:45:08.000 Dude, I send you guys the picture every day of a rattlesnake.

02:45:11.000 Every day, you do.

02:45:12.000 You send me a new rattlesnake video every day.

02:45:15.000 It's kind of crazy.

02:45:16.000 The very first one I found, that was an anaconda with a rattler on it, dude.

02:45:20.000 If you look back on it, that snake was so fucking big.

02:45:22.000 It was a big one.

02:45:23.000 I ran over one once, running with my dogs.

02:45:27.000 It was across the street or across the trail.

02:45:30.000 I thought it was a stick.

02:45:32.000 As I'm running over it, I realize, oh my god, that's a fucking rattler.

02:45:36.000 And he just let you jump on him?

02:45:38.000 No, I just, I cleared him.

02:45:40.000 Fuck.

02:45:40.000 But I literally ran over his body and then I realized in the air that it was a rattlesnake.

02:45:47.000 I mean, thick like my wrist.

02:45:48.000 You know what bothers me is I'll see the snake and I'll wait.

02:45:52.000 If I pass people, I know they're coming, I'll wait out front like, rattlesnake, rattlesnake.

02:45:57.000 This lady with a dog, she's out there.

02:45:59.000 I go, rattlesnake.

02:46:00.000 And she's letting her dog just walk.

02:46:02.000 I'm like, dude, you fucking idiot.

02:46:04.000 Put him on a leash, dude.

02:46:05.000 I would never...

02:46:06.000 I used to take my son on these hikes.

02:46:08.000 I don't take him anymore.

02:46:09.000 Too many rattlesnakes.

02:46:10.000 But when people have their dogs out and they just let them go on the side, that's where the snakes are.

02:46:14.000 So I ride in the middle.

02:46:15.000 Because the snakes are always on the side.

02:46:16.000 If I come out, I can see them.

02:46:18.000 But these people let their dogs just go up and down the side.

02:46:21.000 I'm like, that's so dangerous.

02:46:22.000 You have no idea.

02:46:23.000 There's so many dingbats out there, dude.

02:46:26.000 There's so many people that think they just have shit for brains.

02:46:29.000 There's so many of them.

02:46:30.000 Dude, one old lady, I see her, she goes the same time I do.

02:46:34.000 She's in shape, tan as fuck, skin like leather, looks like a purse, right?

02:46:38.000 She's fucking, she's going, I go, ma'am, there's a rattlesnake about 10 feet up.

02:46:42.000 She goes, she takes her old school head.

02:46:44.000 She goes, a what?

02:46:45.000 I go, a rattlesnake.

02:46:46.000 She goes, okay, doesn't move.

02:46:48.000 It's on the path.

02:46:49.000 Doesn't move, just goes right along the side of it.

02:46:53.000 Didn't give a fuck.

02:46:54.000 Probably ready to die.

02:46:55.000 Probably survived World War II like a rattlesnake.

02:46:57.000 Bitch, I was in Pearl Harbor.

02:46:59.000 Yeah, she's got a softball mitt face.

02:47:00.000 She didn't give a fuck, dude.

02:47:02.000 She's like, why am I alive?

02:47:03.000 Face like Sacagawea.

02:47:07.000 When certain people get to a certain age, I wonder if they do more dangerous shit, like hoping something goes wrong.

02:47:13.000 I send those videos to my dad and he gets mad.

02:47:15.000 I don't think he cares about me, but he goes, if my grandsons grow up without a fucking father because you got bit riding that gay bike.

02:47:22.000 I'm like, hey man!

02:47:27.000 What a hilarious reaction!

02:47:29.000 If my grandsons grow up without a father, you fucking piece of shit.

02:47:33.000 For riding that gay bike?

02:47:35.000 It's not gay, dude.

02:47:36.000 It's a mountain bike.

02:47:38.000 There's nothing gay about it.

02:47:39.000 That is fucking hilarious.

02:47:42.000 What a take.

02:47:43.000 Right?

02:47:43.000 What a hot take by your dad.

02:47:45.000 Dead serious.

02:47:46.000 Dead serious.

02:47:48.000 Worried about your grandson.

02:47:50.000 Not even worried about your son.

02:47:51.000 Don't give a fuck.

02:47:54.000 That's hilarious.

02:47:55.000 Alright, it's three o'clock already.

02:47:58.000 Is it?

02:47:58.000 Dude, this goes by so fast.

02:48:00.000 It always does.

02:48:00.000 We covered three minutes of the fights.

02:48:02.000 I think we covered quite a bit.

02:48:03.000 Did we?

02:48:04.000 Oh, did we?

02:48:05.000 I don't remember.

02:48:05.000 We covered quite a bit, man.

02:48:06.000 It was hours ago, though.

02:48:07.000 We forgot.

02:48:08.000 I don't know.

02:48:08.000 So we have a fight companion.

02:48:10.000 We solved COVID.

02:48:11.000 Yes, we solved everything.

02:48:13.000 We're good.

02:48:16.000 Jacksonville works out.

02:48:17.000 You're going to be great, man.

02:48:18.000 I can't fucking wait.

02:48:20.000 You'll see 249 Saturday.

02:48:21.000 I'm weirded out doing commentary with no audience.

02:48:24.000 It's going to be strange.

02:48:25.000 You're going to kill it.

02:48:26.000 I wish you guys were together.

02:48:27.000 I'm excited.

02:48:28.000 Thick Boy Bike Club merch drops tomorrow, 10 a.m., tfatk.com.

02:48:32.000 When is your first scheduled comedy date?

02:48:34.000 Spoken.

02:48:34.000 Last weekend of Spoken.

02:48:36.000 June?

02:48:36.000 June.

02:48:37.000 Wow.

02:48:38.000 And it's almost sold out.

02:48:39.000 Oh, it happens.

02:48:39.000 And we're going to get together.

02:48:40.000 Thick Boy Bike Club's going to get together Saturday.

02:48:43.000 Okay.

02:48:43.000 tfatk.com.

02:48:45.000 You know it.

02:48:47.000 Love you, man.

02:48:48.000 Love you too, brother.

02:48:48.000 Bye, everybody.

The Joe Rogan Experience - April 05, 2011

JRE MMA Show #95 with Brendan Schaub

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