The Mikhaila Peterson Podcast - Brett Cooper on Her New Show, Marriage, Kids & Farming ｜ EP 222

00:00:00.000 Daily Wire had slid into my DMs and they were like we want to do a show and I was terrified

00:00:04.080 and I almost didn't even send in the tape. I'm just not gonna do it. I'm not gonna do it. My mom

00:00:07.980 she basically like grabs my throat. The statistics actually show now that homeschoolers test higher

00:00:13.020 they're being recruited by Ivy Leagues all this stuff your parents are doing it right. You're not

00:00:16.760 going to be in one class with the same group of kids who are the same age. When I started

00:00:21.640 homeschooling I lived in Chattanooga, Tennessee there was one co-op and it was weird. Very very

00:00:25.860 odd really really small and my mom was like this is not gonna be your people we're gonna do our

00:00:29.400 thing. So she basically created this program for me. She designed the curriculum. She took all

00:00:35.400 these books from, you know, classical education, had me in basically every single extracurricular

00:00:39.580 I was dancing. I was in gymnastics. I was singing. That makes the difference between the homeschoolers

00:00:45.600 that are the stereotypes. And the ones that break through those is that we were

00:00:49.380 highly socialized in a very dynamic and intentional way.

00:00:53.600 Brett Cooper welcome to my channel I'm so excited to be here thank you so much for coming yeah you

00:01:02.560 know it's wait I just have to say you were the first interview that I ever did right after

00:01:06.080 starting comment section that's funny I know so this is like a whole new it's like we're repeating

00:01:11.020 history oh my gosh I'm so happy I'm so honored about that that's really fun yeah you had such

00:01:16.940 huge amounts of success with the comment section it was crazy watching that like I think we did

00:01:23.160 the interview and you had you were maybe you were almost at a million or you had hit a million

00:01:27.560 and then like the next time I checked you were at three it was like crazy yeah yeah it was I was

00:01:32.580 really really honored and it was so much fun it was like a rocket ship taking off those three years

00:01:38.040 and especially the first five months and I think because I looked at your episode recently when we

00:01:43.060 were planning this I think I was like around 700,000 or something and it was just like it was

00:01:48.700 the most fun team it was so like nimble and flexible because we were doing something so new

00:01:53.380 especially at the company because we were kind of like trying something out and even seeing if it

00:01:57.340 would work and stick and it was just so much fun oh that's great okay you have a new youtube channel

00:02:02.980 yes i do i'm gonna link it below but what's it called just so we can get that out of the way now

00:02:07.540 um brett cooper a lot of people found it when it was be brett cooper but we actually just got

00:02:12.940 it changed with youtube so it'll be just brett cooper oh nice yeah so it's just my name which

00:02:17.240 is cool it's not a show anymore it's just me wow okay can you tell me like what your plan is yeah

00:02:23.800 are you gonna do farm stuff ah I wish okay I'm gonna do some of it and that's like I posted

00:02:28.300 a community post right after launching the channel and I was like we have free reign now guys like

00:02:33.180 yeah whatever you want like I'm excited and so many of the comments were like okay yes like we

00:02:38.560 like you for culture and politics but like are you gonna like let us meet the cow so we're definitely

00:02:41.520 gonna do some of that and I'm really excited about that and that's obviously like a huge part

00:02:45.600 of my life these days. So I'm excited to incorporate more lifestyle stuff. Um, but yeah, I'm this whole

00:02:51.180 new chapter. I'm really excited. And I'm so grateful that so many people are already following

00:02:56.020 me over to the new channel and the new platforms. Um, but yeah, it's going to be a challenge for

00:03:01.500 sure. Cause it's, you know, we're rebuilding, but also it's like, that's what I loved about

00:03:05.540 starting comment section. I love building something. I'm definitely somebody that

00:03:09.020 loves taking on new things and loves creating something. And I was just kind of itching for

00:03:13.620 something new I know it's very exciting yeah okay let's go with let's go to living on a farm first

00:03:19.080 this is what I'm curious about okay why did you decide that's what you wanted to do I wanted to

00:03:24.380 do that for years so I grew up in half in Tennessee and half in Los Angeles because I was acting

00:03:29.420 but we always lived on land but never had animals and my mom from the time that she was like 13

00:03:37.040 years old always wanted to have a farm so I was raised by this woman who was like craving that

00:03:41.700 lifestyle and that experience and it just like never happened and kids and moving and my dad

00:03:46.700 didn't want it and her first husband was like definitely against it and so when my parents got

00:03:51.080 divorced she moved to Idaho and sort of her homestead it was like her like next chapter she's

00:03:55.380 like finally getting what she's wanted for you know 50 plus years so I grew up in that environment

00:04:00.440 and because of that we were like super engaged in our agricultural community and we had friends

00:04:05.040 that had ranches and rode horses from a really young age and we had really good friends in

00:04:09.540 Kentucky that had a highland cattle farm. So I was always around that and really gravitated

00:04:14.140 towards it just because it felt so grounded and tangible compared to a lot of the things in my

00:04:21.160 life. I think growing up in a very turbulent household just with this, you know, I have a

00:04:27.720 brother with schizophrenia and I have a brother that passed away at a very young age. And I was

00:04:32.520 moving around a lot because of acting and it was like having those activities and literally just

00:04:38.120 being outside felt so like no you couldn't take that away from me um and I've just always wanted

00:04:45.600 it my mom buying her farm a few years ago really solidified that because I loved being there with

00:04:49.440 her so has she seen your new place yes does she love it she loves it yeah she's actually moving

00:04:54.540 literally down the road oh my gosh I know it's amazing so she's selling her like dream homestead

00:04:59.820 in Idaho and moving here the weekend that we got married she literally drove around the area and

00:05:06.320 like knocked on people's doors and was like, I like your farm. I like your farm. Like, would

00:05:09.360 you sell it to me? Um, she was like a ballsy woman. Um, but I'm so excited. I mean, my 1.00

00:05:15.660 husband's whole family is near us in Tennessee and my dad is nearby, but my mom was kind

00:05:20.060 of out in the middle of nowhere. And you know, she heard marriage and future kids and she

00:05:24.740 was like packing up the bags. Oh my gosh. Babysit. Yeah. Oh, that's so fun. Yeah. So 0.98

00:05:29.000 we're going to have farms near each other. Wow. Do you have a, do you have somebody to

00:05:33.120 help with the animals yes so you hired someone to take care of yes I was like if I ever do this

00:05:37.400 you're not like taking care of the cows yourself no I am but it's like when we're out of town we

00:05:41.440 have like so right now we have an amazing farmhand who like is coming daily and checking on their

00:05:46.660 water and like dropping hay and that kind of stuff but like during the week it's just me and if we

00:05:50.380 need like extra help on projects then we'll have um one of these guys come out and they're able to

00:05:57.020 like help Alex with stuff that like I can't do or we can't do alone but yeah it's like the two of

00:06:01.600 us it's so much fun so are you milking cows we don't have any milk cows so okay that's what my

00:06:06.040 mom does we have what will be beef cows okay nice for you that's my kind of cow and then we have

00:06:13.840 we're raising um pigs we'll have pork and then we have 10 chickens and four ducks so you're set for

00:06:20.860 the end of the world basically wow if you guys aren't on peterson academy you're missing out

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00:06:44.060 Brain Plasticity just came out, which I love. Go to petersonacademy.com and come in and see what

00:06:49.620 it's like. We have a seven-day money-back guarantee, so you can poke around the website,

00:06:53.380 look at the courses and get a refund if you want no strings attached any age is welcome the courses

00:06:59.240 are university level thanks guys enjoy the rest of the podcast it's amazing it's like it is such

00:07:05.880 a nice contrast from the rest of my life because it's so public it's so digital like especially

00:07:14.460 because comment section was completely revolving around social media and trends and news it was so

00:07:19.360 fast paced and it's just like chaos in the political like cultural world whatever this

00:07:23.040 weird industry is that we're in like it's just crazy all the time it was so freeing to be able

00:07:28.700 to drive home and like drive home on a literal dirt road and come back to some place that is

00:07:32.920 so quiet like so normal detached from everything we're in the middle of nowhere and it was like

00:07:38.900 okay i'm like my nervous system is like regulated now yeah so yeah i'm really really grateful for

00:07:43.700 it i get that i i kind of had the same experience i always liked living like i liked living downtown

00:07:48.980 town. When I was a kid, I was like, if I don't live near a China town that has 24 hour Chinese

00:07:54.280 food, I don't want to live in that city, which obviously changed my diet, changed everything. 0.99

00:07:58.980 But that's like, it needs to be like that much of a city and I want to live right downtown. And

00:08:02.840 then when things got crazy, it was like, you know, it's a, you know, it's a bit hard on the nervous

00:08:06.940 system. If you're already bombarded from a bunch of other angles, it's like, maybe, maybe not.

00:08:11.500 Not that I live on a farm. I felt like I just like couldn't breathe ever. And it was interesting

00:08:15.300 because i moved to a new part of nashville early last year and then only lived there for a few

00:08:23.800 months and then had to go to budapest to shoot the pen dragon cycle for daily wire and so then

00:08:28.280 i went from like living in the city in nashville to literally living in the city in budapest not

00:08:31.860 having a car living in an apartment and it was just like it was so much fun and i felt like i

00:08:35.420 finally got to live my you know like study abroad dreams that i didn't get to do um because of

00:08:40.400 COVID but I was so over stimulated and we actually bought the farm sight unseen while I was in

00:08:47.040 Budapest and we like saw it on Zillow and I was like we should just like go look at it like that's

00:08:50.540 just like fun then so Alex flew home and went and looked at it and he called me and he said okay I'm

00:08:56.980 sorry we have to buy this I was like wait what like I'm not even there and he said no we're gonna

00:09:00.360 we're gonna buy this so that's so cool yeah it was just but it was a really like I came back from

00:09:04.740 living in like major major city for five months to being on like tens of acres just in the middle

00:09:10.980 of nowhere wow yeah and so do you find you don't find that it's isolating at all because you get

00:09:16.680 enough stimulation elsewhere yeah or are you just kind of used to that atmosphere from your

00:09:20.700 you know mom talking about it or I feel like if I was on a farm I don't know I'd go start

00:09:26.400 craving mad I think it's it's a mixture of both so I was born on Orcas Island in Washington State

00:09:32.580 which a lot of people don't know but we had land out there i mean it's super remote super quiet

00:09:36.700 um so i lived there when i was younger and then in tennessee where i grew up we also lived on like

00:09:41.760 six acres very very like removed okay okay so i was raised in areas that were very quiet and that's

00:09:49.140 definitely where i find like my peacefulness um but no i also think that we've been very

00:09:54.860 intentional about building community at this new place because when you live in a city it's very

00:10:01.760 easy to like just run out and go to dinner or like see people and go out for a drink or do

00:10:05.760 whatever and it you know we removed ourselves and realized okay this is not convenient anymore

00:10:10.360 we're not just going to run into people we can't you know say hey can we just go like meet you for

00:10:13.760 five minutes and get a drink whatever um so we've had to be very thoughtful with you know how we

00:10:20.400 cultivate that community and bringing our friends out and hosting all the time we want to make sure

00:10:24.500 it's a place where people you know want to come and spend time with us so I think we've done a

00:10:27.980 good job of that and we're like hosting all these dinner parties having people oh nice um so we

00:10:32.340 definitely have made an effort and i think because of that we have not really felt any negative

00:10:38.320 removal i think okay cool yeah i think my husband was more worried about it than i was because he

00:10:41.900 used to live in new york city and definitely more of a city person of a change yeah and but he loves

00:10:47.360 it i think he like shocked him how like peaceful he is and how he was like exactly you know exactly

00:10:53.400 what I needed oh that's great yeah I I get that so he has no background in like cow farming no

00:10:59.800 not at all but he's doing it he's doing it now wow he loves me very much

00:11:03.560 oh that's so cool he started listening to um Alex Jones a few years ago and was like okay

00:11:11.480 yep we need to be prepared and then I was like well then obviously we need cows and he was like

00:11:15.280 okay I think that makes sense I was like here's the farm we're gonna buy it you know he's all

00:11:18.660 bought it and so it was great did you have did you have to I'm gonna get in the weeds here do

00:11:22.080 Do you have to purchase the cows separately, or did some of them come with the farm?

00:11:25.320 No, yeah, we bought them all separately.

00:11:26.700 So the people that we bought the place from were not farming it whatsoever.

00:11:29.760 They just wanted a bunch of land.

00:11:31.540 So we've had to literally, like, from ground zero, like, design where all the pastures are going to be, fence everything.

00:11:38.820 Oh, wow.

00:11:39.260 Put it, like, renovate the barns, do all of that stuff.

00:11:41.840 And then I bought the cows on Facebook and Craigslist.

00:11:47.260 That's amazing.

00:11:48.780 It's like, and it's so weird.

00:11:49.740 And you can just buy a cow?

00:11:51.280 Yeah.

00:11:51.460 Is there paperwork?

00:11:52.080 or anything or do you just kind of if they're registered so you need to like change you know

00:11:56.300 hand registration so like our pigs are registered for fancy pigs so we had to get our registration

00:12:00.780 uh you know handed over to us yeah it's been a whole adventure it's like so much fun

00:12:07.160 i believe that i believe that okay married life you weren't married last time we spoke yeah

00:12:13.140 uh and you got married how's that going it's literally the greatest thing in my life

00:12:19.560 yeah it's like I was thinking about this it was just a couple of weeks ago but on both sides of

00:12:27.220 the political aisle I was told that getting married is like the worst thing you could do

00:12:31.880 for your career it's settling down you know it's holding you back I heard that from people I grew

00:12:37.140 up with acting in Hollywood where I would talk about wanting to be a mom and wanting to be a

00:12:40.880 wife and like oh my god you're gonna sacrifice everything was it getting married that was the

00:12:44.760 problem or was it like having kids both oh wow yeah it was like even just getting married is

00:12:49.860 like okay well now you're like settled down and now people won't like you as much because you're 0.99

00:12:53.980 married oh yeah I heard that too yeah yeah and did not give a rat's ass obviously I was like 0.93

00:12:59.120 you're not gonna tell me what to do um and I love this person and I believe in the institution of 0.87

00:13:03.800 marriage and um I also found somebody who makes me better every day and I think that's the most

00:13:10.320 important thing it's like I've never felt more ambitious I've never felt braver than when I'm

00:13:17.180 with him and it's like he takes all the parts of me that need strengthening and just amplifies them

00:13:23.220 oh yay um and so it's just like you feel like a superhero and so it's very like that's the number

00:13:29.380 one thing I would tell like young women is like look for that person who's like a real partner

00:13:35.320 and everything and that's him so it's been just incredible oh I'm so happy for you I like it is I

00:13:42.460 I always thought I think I was scared of it too and I mean I had a like I had a bad experience

00:13:47.080 so that didn't help but I also I think it's it's sometimes hard to find people that actually make

00:13:52.060 you into a better person it is rather than especially if you're very driven or something

00:13:55.940 and then it's like and if you're doing too much like or or and then there's always just it's just

00:14:01.600 kind of like you're holding me back yeah this isn't working I also think it's complicated

00:14:06.280 as somebody who is conservative and definitely more traditional but obviously has a career and

00:14:12.140 works and is successful it took a lot to find somebody that was like masculine enough to like

00:14:19.720 stop me in my tracks and was not going to be a doormat for me because I'm definitely like I

00:14:23.680 can steamroll through people and it was so impressive to me that he was like not intimidated

00:14:29.500 in the slightest would like call me out on my bs will do that every day which i need uh it would

00:14:35.760 debate me like that was the greatest thing like i would come home from work and we'd be able to like

00:14:40.580 talk through everything that i was you know talking about on the show or reading about and

00:14:44.980 he's like a voracious reader and a voracious podcast listener and just like learning about

00:14:49.520 the world every day and just has such a curiosity and having somebody that was like this like mental

00:14:55.620 sparring partner of sorts yeah it was I think difficult to find that and I'm so grateful I

00:15:00.560 feel like I lucked out I mean I got married so young I was like I'm not letting you go like this

00:15:04.580 is perfect but yeah that's great yeah no that does sound like you got lucky I think for sure

00:15:09.840 I had a hard time finding that I know otherwise yeah you just steamroll people then you feel kind 0.96

00:15:14.560 of bad but also disgusted I felt bad too yeah not feminine at all and then like guilty but also

00:15:22.120 like irritated and disgusted yeah it's like and you don't want that in like a romantic situation

00:15:27.720 whatsoever it's like I would already and now I'm turned on yeah that was yes stimulating thank you

00:15:32.580 exactly but it's our and I think the the feminine side of it was something I hadn't experienced

00:15:37.360 and so that was what was so shocking yeah because I was always like more of a tomboy

00:15:44.440 obviously I have a farm um hang out with cows all day and I have three older brothers and I

00:15:50.480 again have a career I'm like very outspoken and had never felt like taken care of in that way or

00:15:58.160 even like allowed to feel that I'd always had my guard up and I didn't even think that that was in

00:16:03.280 the realm of possibilities for me I was like I'm just not a feminine person and then you meet that

00:16:07.600 person that brings out that side of you and gives you the protection the space to be that way it was

00:16:13.860 like really special i had the exact same experience that was the same thing like a career also like

00:16:20.780 able to debate outspoken and then yeah like masculine basically yeah in conversation and

00:16:28.340 things uh and guarded yep which i was just like okay that's just like how i'm gonna be yeah i guess

00:16:34.720 which is fine i was also okay i got caught to the point because i was like i was 29 when i finally

00:16:40.060 met jordan and at that point i was like i'm fine being this is it is better being alone

00:16:45.700 than with somebody who well i met you when i don't think you were dating jordan yet maybe

00:16:52.300 or maybe it was like the very early stages but i mean even just as a like a friend and a viewer

00:16:56.780 of seeing your transformation over the past couple of years even just like professionally

00:17:00.740 because what you guys have done together is so remarkable thank you and it's like you look so

00:17:07.200 happy. And the work you're doing is incredible. And I think it's such a testament to the way you

00:17:11.420 work together and the way you compliment each other. So it's like, thank you. I appreciate

00:17:15.060 that. It has made, it's made a huge difference. It's like, this is great. Yeah. I didn't know

00:17:19.600 that this is like something that could happen. Yeah. That's what you hear about though. I think

00:17:23.500 people just have a hard time. I think I had a hard time being picky enough, but you have to meet a

00:17:29.440 lot of people too. For sure. Like, or I didn't know what I was looking for or something. It might've

00:17:33.640 been that you know or maybe I was stupider than you when I was younger seriously that's like a 0.97

00:17:38.700 huge possibility that's probably what was going on it's hard to like draw your lines in the sand and 0.87

00:17:43.620 what's important what's not important if you don't have very much experience that was hard for me

00:17:48.340 exactly I think it was helpful because I being so public especially I was talking about my values

00:17:54.760 24 7 and talking about my principles and I think that really forced me to like take that into

00:17:59.380 dating in an even more severe way because it was like I'm a public figure now I'm very in tune with

00:18:06.160 my values and what I want and what I believe in it's like at the forefront of my mind and what I

00:18:10.180 talk about all the time so I credit that to a lot of how I approached like starting this relationship

00:18:15.260 with Alex because it was totally different than how I dated in college and I really didn't date

00:18:19.640 a lot I would say I dated like I went on dates but I was not in relationships but it was very

00:18:25.260 laxadaisical very like emotionally driven rather than being like this makes sense this is like

00:18:31.500 everything is in line and the emotions and the affection the attraction is there but it's like

00:18:36.060 it's the puzzle pieces came together and I was so aware of that yeah where before it would like

00:18:40.300 wasn't even looking really for that it was like in the back of my mind

00:18:43.880 that makes sense changed do you have recommendations I know people are getting

00:18:48.280 like it seems I don't know if I'm gonna pull like a conservative sphere but it seems like people are

00:18:52.900 more attracted to the idea of getting young getting married young which is good yeah um do

00:18:57.380 you have recommendations for girls and how to choose a partner oh gosh I mean I again going

00:19:04.840 back to what we were just saying I think that you find the person who makes you better in every way

00:19:10.520 whatever that looks like for you I also think it's this dance of knowing that you both fit into each

00:19:19.120 other's lives there's there was this balance for me because my mom used to say like I don't want

00:19:25.020 you to date until you're 30 and that's what she always said yeah and then she flipped right as I

00:19:30.140 moved to Nashville and she was like the world's getting crazy you need to find like a good man

00:19:33.640 I was like wait I thought I wasn't allowed to date till I'm 30 but and at that point she gave

00:19:38.640 me some more nuance she was like okay that was probably a little bit too intense but she was

00:19:42.580 like I wanted you to know yourself like that's the most important thing you know yourself and you know

00:19:46.920 your values most importantly and what you want and where you see your life going and obviously

00:19:52.180 you can't choose how your life turns out but kind of knowing a roadmap of the lifestyle that you want

00:19:57.380 for yourself um the way you want to raise kids whether you want to homeschool or not homeschool

00:20:01.480 whatever that looks like some of those big core things have those identified before you enter into

00:20:08.140 any serious relationship because if you can't have those conversations from the get-go you're just 1.00

00:20:13.600 wasting your time and that's the thing that I hate most is people like especially women wasting 1.00

00:20:18.100 your precious time and energy and your precious years yeah you want to be a mom on people who 1.00

00:20:23.060 are not even in line with your life and maybe there's like all of those good feelings of

00:20:28.480 infatuation but it's like that only gets you so far if you're not able to have those conversations

00:20:33.240 and be very clear about how you both fit into this puzzle yeah um a hundred percent yeah and

00:20:40.000 just have to be so clear and I think the other thing too and this is more to people who are like

00:20:44.620 oh you're getting married too young it's like you do have to know where your life is going and what

00:20:49.660 you want but you also have to be flexible and be excited about growing together and no and once you

00:20:57.060 have those core values then it's like wherever your ship is taking you it's going to be sort of

00:21:03.780 in line with where you want to go and it might not be exactly what you thought of like three like

00:21:07.320 our life now is definitely not what I thought our life would be three years ago. Like when I met

00:21:10.580 Alex, but it's in line with our values. And so it's not surprising and it's not like shocking

00:21:16.780 or bad or like, Oh, this is not good because it's not what I wanted. It's like, this is better than

00:21:20.260 what I wanted because we did it together. We built it together. Um, so I guess that's my very broad

00:21:25.140 advice. That was good. Yeah. Yeah. Maybe it did like you doing all this public talking, even just

00:21:32.500 on YouTube maybe that did help you figure out what you wanted it was like hammered in yeah I think

00:21:38.200 really really helpful yeah yeah that's cool so did you guys have the conversations like

00:21:42.940 when do you want to have kids how fast are we going to get married how are we going to raise

00:21:47.440 our kids do you have them super early on yes it was not like we're sitting down and having a

00:21:53.400 meeting about it but yeah we're both very intense people and very forward people and we were serious

00:22:00.620 about the relationship very early on like Alex was like I want to be a husband I want to be a

00:22:04.240 father I don't date like that's so nice to hear amazing yeah I was literally shocked yeah and it

00:22:10.680 was so refreshing and he had never had a girlfriend before me like he had dated he'll be so offended

00:22:16.720 he had a girlfriend in middle school but he is like the most selective person with his time and

00:22:24.420 energy and so he would go on dates very similar to me and we'd go on dates be like okay this is

00:22:27.840 not the right person but because he brought those conversations to the table very early on so he was

00:22:31.560 able to go like all right in line not in line don't even want to waste my time and then he would

00:22:36.180 rather you know focus on himself and his career and so I think with the two of us it just flowed

00:22:42.200 naturally because it was like okay we both see this as serious we have these intentions you know

00:22:46.560 this is where we want our individual lives to go so those conversations were very easy to have and

00:22:51.140 it wasn't like awkward or weird but yeah we had those you know like two or three months in but I

00:22:56.620 And even before we had them, I had like a gut feeling.

00:22:58.840 I was like, this is the person.

00:23:00.360 And then those like conversations evolved over those next three months as we kind of

00:23:04.620 figured it out.

00:23:05.560 Cool.

00:23:06.200 Okay.

00:23:06.780 I wonder if that's just the type of person that does that.

00:23:08.920 I had a similar experience with Jordan, but at that time I was also like jaded and was

00:23:13.260 like, I'm going to be alone forever.

00:23:14.480 I'm fine with it.

00:23:15.360 Whatever.

00:23:15.780 At least I'm not in a really clear.

00:23:17.560 Yeah.

00:23:17.920 So I was just like, this is like, here's all the bad stuff.

00:23:21.620 And like, and is that fine?

00:23:25.580 Yeah.

00:23:25.740 if it's not it's fine but like it's there yeah and then yeah serious conversation very early

00:23:31.060 yeah and I'm sure I mean you had your daughter coming into it too so that just adds a level of

00:23:35.340 complexity that kind of wipes away a lot of the like oh this is going to be absolutely perfect

00:23:41.000 at the beginning I was just like no there's some serious things going on right now yeah so we need

00:23:45.600 to get that out of the way otherwise like I have no interest yeah and it's impressive and he's

00:23:50.480 willing to jump in and just face that head on and not be deterred by it or intimidated by it

00:23:56.020 yeah i was a bit worried at the beginning because i told him all these things he was like that's

00:23:59.240 fine it's like oh it's terrifying you don't know what you're talking about yeah are you sure because

00:24:04.340 i don't i'm not even sure it's fine yeah yeah he has a very quintessential family and i love them

00:24:10.500 to death because they're not what i grew up with at all parents in love married siblings are all

00:24:17.260 alive like they're all like well adjusted yeah um like very well adjusted and so normal and I

00:24:25.900 literally sobbed the night before I met them because I was so uncomfortable and terrified

00:24:31.140 because I was like I am damaged goods and had never felt that way before because I had just

00:24:36.740 never been faced with such normalcy and I desperately wanted to impress them and be like

00:24:41.240 I'm not like corrupting your son with my, I had that. So funny. I had almost the exact same

00:24:48.700 experience with Jordan's family. It's same. Parents are together. My parents are together,

00:24:52.680 but like normal. Yeah. And I was like, I don't think I've met a normal family. This is crazy.

00:24:59.820 Like growing up in downtown Toronto, it's like, I don't think, I think there was one family in

00:25:03.500 my neighborhood that I kind of knew that we considered normal. Everybody else had serious,

00:25:07.740 serious problems and I was like that's just what families are like yeah and then met his family and

00:25:12.280 I was like yeah no one hates each other I didn't know how to operate within that framework I think

00:25:17.680 that was the thing that was so I was like what do I do he was like you're just gonna meet my parents

00:25:20.860 yeah but it's so it's insane how our brains wire us that way but he was so wonderful and like

00:25:28.520 holding my hand through that and also just not being fazed by it at all of just like I don't

00:25:33.540 care like you can be nervous you can cry about it it's fine but you're gonna go meet them and it's

00:25:36.620 great and it's normal. So that was refreshing to say the least. Jordan dropped me off in his house

00:25:42.980 with his sisters and then disappeared for like three hours. I almost murdered him the next day.

00:25:48.380 Luckily his sisters are amazing, but I was like, you don't, you can't just do that. Where did you

00:25:54.840 go? It's kind of hanging out with my brother. I was like, okay, I'm sure this was no big deal for

00:25:59.680 you, but it was a little bit of a big deal for me. Yeah, for sure. Oh, that's funny. If you're

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00:27:03.180 kids yeah i know do you have a plan we sort of do we definitely want them sooner rather than later

00:27:11.560 and it's definitely not something that we're pushing off we've talked a lot about you know

00:27:16.680 how we want that to look i think you know he it's it's been a big part of us transitioning our

00:27:24.680 careers um he came from the corporate world and when we got married completely flipped his life

00:27:30.680 upside down and he started his business he's totally independent now he controls his schedule

00:27:35.260 totally flexible he comes with me everywhere which is just fantastic um and is more successful than

00:27:40.560 ever and happier than ever so it was like you know he took a big risk and a big swing and it

00:27:45.660 panned out and it's you know supporting me but it's also done incredible things for him which

00:27:49.180 is great and that was a lot of my thought process of this next chapter of you know I have a great

00:27:57.920 appreciation for how my mom raised us and she was incredibly focused incredibly dedicated she

00:28:04.040 worked and had different projects and jobs throughout our childhood and she was you know

00:28:08.640 starting all these organizations and running all these different things it was incredibly

00:28:11.560 impressive it had a huge career prior to having kids but we were involved in all of that and it

00:28:17.080 was all by her design and she ran all of that so that her children could still be the center of

00:28:22.820 her life and for her being a mom was you know like a it was a career for her and she saw everything

00:28:30.980 else as like amplifying that and I think you know Alex's mom did a very very similar thing so we

00:28:37.120 were raised by women that made their careers around their children and by default had even

00:28:45.080 better careers and became even more successful because they were independent and they started

00:28:50.460 businesses and so you know I think that has been for the last year that's what we've been trying

00:28:56.540 to work on just so that we can have that flexibility because I went home school I was

00:28:59.980 home schooled um and it was the greatest thing that ever happened to me and I think completely

00:29:05.660 formed who I am as a as a person and a thinker and an academic and that was something actually

00:29:12.240 in terms of the like conversations with alex and i he was definitely not on board with homeschooling

00:29:16.960 at the beginning oh yeah yeah did not want he probably heard what i heard growing up yes of

00:29:21.160 course weird alienated farm children yes exactly yeah with a really long skirt yeah and it's so

00:29:28.560 funny because he was a like private school lacrosse like frat star like sec and he married the

00:29:33.760 homeschooled like theater kid horse girl yeah i was like if you told him that at 15 years old he

00:29:38.180 Bradley would have died yeah genuinely like what is my life but he knew I knew so that's kind of

00:29:46.140 an interesting thing we weren't exactly aligned we first started dating but the values were there

00:29:50.740 so he was like oh I'm not really interested in homeschool because I'm sorry I mean I've heard

00:29:54.100 weird stuff yeah but I don't want my kids in public school because you know the system is

00:29:58.040 designed against them so we had all of the facts and the understanding but his solution was you

00:30:03.420 know he went to a private school he's like we'll just send him to a private school and then the

00:30:07.140 conversation merged to okay well what about a hybrid if they're at home with us a few days a

00:30:10.600 week but then they do get to go in and do sports or whatever and then over the course of two years

00:30:14.640 he was like they're not going they're not touching any school you know I want them home and he's

00:30:19.240 really excited about it now but the values were there the conversations were all so productive

00:30:23.420 and I was willing to bend and flex but that's a really high priority and something that we've

00:30:29.100 again talked about since the very beginning so it's like how can we structure our life to make

00:30:33.740 sure that that is doable. And again, he's done that and it's been, you know, the greatest thing

00:30:40.280 that happened to him career wise. So it's all really, it's really positive. I think it just

00:30:43.780 shows that when you orient your life to things that are objectively good, like you'll be rewarded

00:30:50.080 in that sense. When you take risks and you bet on yourself, that's just a net positive, which is

00:30:55.020 something that I'm, you know, trying to jump into right now, but it's definitely. Oh, a hundred

00:31:01.000 100% yeah you're gonna be fine like no it'll be like amazing it'll be amazing I'm excited for you

00:31:08.640 yeah that'll be fun I didn't I didn't end up signing like I had a few offers to sign with

00:31:13.800 people for the podcast and I was just like but I'm fortunate because I've always been kind of

00:31:17.560 doing it on the side of other things so I was never like I'm I don't know I don't want to work

00:31:23.900 with anybody yeah like really I'm too difficult to work with like it was that awareness is good

00:31:29.920 yeah you don't want to work with me I don't want to work with you no one wants this yeah well that's

00:31:35.940 good so did he just watch what was going on in schools for a couple years and then he was like

00:31:40.100 maybe private schools also have the same problem I think that and then also getting to know me and

00:31:45.000 I have so many friends that are homeschooled and he just started to because he didn't know any

00:31:49.040 yeah okay and we're much more I mean my circle is made up of a lot of homeschoolers and so I think

00:31:55.240 he continued to meet more of us and realized like you are you're all really impressive and you're

00:31:59.240 very smart. You have really, really interesting careers. And I think that changed his mind as

00:32:05.500 well. But yeah, definitely just understanding the school systems more and that a lot of private

00:32:10.020 schools are not exempt from it. And so many families have to do something other than

00:32:15.420 homeschooling and it's not doable for a lot of people. And I've never wanted to shame people for

00:32:19.200 doing other things. And I think those parents are very careful with where they send their kids and

00:32:23.280 they're very involved because of that fact. And so there are great, I know that there are great

00:32:28.300 schools out there I think that they're just few and far between and the system is still

00:32:32.740 set up against them they're gonna have to be fighting that all the time um and so he knows

00:32:37.640 that that's out there but on a whole he was like if we have the opportunity we can set up our life

00:32:41.160 to be able to do this like why wouldn't be and I also think the thing that changed his mind in so

00:32:46.540 many other people's minds is that I don't even know how many years ago I mean 15 years ago when

00:32:52.740 I started homeschooling it was barely anything it was like one I lived in Chattanooga Tennessee

00:32:56.260 there was one co-op like homeschool group in the entire city we had to drive super far away from

00:33:01.420 it and it was weird like very very odd really really small and my mom was like this is not

00:33:05.740 going to be your people we're going to do our own thing and so those are the people I'd heard about

00:33:09.500 exactly yeah she was like okay you're not gonna be that homeschooler and so I was like so she

00:33:14.900 basically created this you know program for me where she designed the curriculum she took all

00:33:20.900 these books from you know classical education um school curricula and had me in basically every

00:33:28.080 single extracurricular extracurricular under the sun where I was dancing I was in gymnastics I was

00:33:33.640 singing I was doing theater I was volunteering at church you know she ran a non-profit for most of

00:33:39.500 my childhood I would go work at the non-profit and run about anyway it was just a very very

00:33:43.280 engaged and hands-on homeschooled experience which I think that makes the difference between

00:33:49.020 the homeschoolers that are the stereotypes and the ones that kind of break through those is that

00:33:54.480 we were highly socialized in a very dynamic and intentional way. And the statistics actually show

00:34:03.840 now that homeschoolers are more well socialized. I mean, they test higher, they're being recruited

00:34:09.260 by Ivy Leagues, all this stuff, but the socialization aspect is really what people

00:34:12.000 care about and look towards. But when you're homeschooled, you're not, if your parents are

00:34:16.220 doing it right you're not going to be in this one class with the same group of kids who are the same

00:34:23.320 age yeah who are from the same district area whatever it's like I had friends from all different

00:34:29.160 backgrounds of all ages I was interacting with adults at a very very young age thanks my mom's

00:34:33.080 work and the things that I would do I knew I had so many friends was like overwhelming like my

00:34:38.740 social life when I was you know eight years old yeah I could talk to a tree and it was I was so

00:34:45.280 social that I think it was like weird to other kids who are my age because it was like how like

00:34:49.560 you know all these people and you're doing all these things but it was just so second nature to

00:34:52.360 me and so by the time that I was an adult when so many of my good friends you know who had gone

00:34:57.680 up through the traditional school system were just starting to apply for jobs were going to

00:35:01.980 colleges that kind of thing and they were having to interact with adults and go through interviews

00:35:05.720 and that sort of thing it was totally out of their element because they just hadn't had to

00:35:10.480 interact with adults who were not teachers or their parents and for me I was just yeah so

00:35:15.600 comfortable so adept so flexible and I think that's the social advantage like you might not

00:35:21.480 have normal socialization you might not have school socialization and be around like your

00:35:25.540 best friends for you know 12 years and that's one thing that I feel like I not missed out on but

00:35:31.520 it's one of the things that as a kid I was bummed about it's like everybody has like their high

00:35:35.320 school friends and they have their friends that they were in school with from K to 12 and I didn't

00:35:40.540 have that and that's one form of socialization for sure but mine was just so diverse and all

00:35:48.700 over the place and I think it served me really really well and made me flexible so I'm grateful

00:35:53.200 for it. Now that sounds good I went through the traditional school route but I changed school so

00:35:58.600 many times that because we we moved a bunch and then I don't know I went like elementary school

00:36:05.300 to middle school i just chose a different middle school than everybody i knew and then with high

00:36:09.120 school it was the same thing and i remember in high school being like i have friends in my

00:36:12.880 neighborhood who've known people for 12 years yep like why do i keep like bouncing around to like

00:36:17.880 five or six different schools i knew a lot of people yeah yeah and i'm not friends with any

00:36:23.920 of them except for one so it like it didn't make any difference anyway but you do you were able to

00:36:29.840 be resilient and land on your feet which I think of yeah even if it's a bit uncomfortable yeah

00:36:35.980 it's better that's one thing I think that my mom did that was very unconventional

00:36:39.620 is that we didn't live in the same place for my entire childhood we moved around a lot I was like

00:36:45.240 constantly jumping back and forth between like LA and Chattanooga and we lived in Washington and all

00:36:49.120 of this and I was homeschooled and she did the same thing for my brothers who are 12 and 14 years

00:36:53.220 older than me and they were constantly moving to different schools she was trying new things for

00:36:57.080 them they lived in different places and it was intentional she was like I never want my kids to be 0.87

00:37:01.600 risk averse and too comfortable interesting it was like bored or she wanted like borderline like I

00:37:07.560 don't want my kids to be uncomfortable all the time she was like I want them at a very young age

00:37:11.520 to be able to make new friends land on their feet be resilient not need to be in like the fourth

00:37:16.960 grade soup to feel like you know they have a sense of self or confidence like they can go anywhere

00:37:23.320 and know who they are be able to make friends and that was her entire reasoning behind it which is

00:37:29.740 so i learned that later on i was like that's why you did this like that's why we were constantly

00:37:32.900 on the move wow but and it's so interesting that she thought about that i mean that's why i know

00:37:38.140 that's way outside the box too because people say like i've had some mom guilt because i moved around

00:37:43.520 so much when scarlet was so she's seven now and we moved i moved a lot like every year

00:37:49.280 but the part of me was like she makes friends quickly yeah like and she's not scared of going

00:37:56.600 to new places isn't that part of the benefit like you want some you want some friends you

00:38:00.660 want some stability and like we have more stability here it was pretty unstable before yeah but she

00:38:05.540 was like as long as she's fine yeah then I think that kind of lifestyle it could easily be

00:38:10.860 beneficial like maybe some kids can't handle it but like seriously grows resiliency which is huge

00:38:17.520 And I think complementing that with a parent that is engaging in those conversations and kind of saying like, hey, this is why it's a good thing.

00:38:25.940 I think it's very different when you're just like dropped and you're like, eh, figure it out.

00:38:28.920 But where you have a parent that's like, hey, this is like a great opportunity for you.

00:38:33.260 And look at all these friends and it's like constantly encouraging your child in that regard.

00:38:37.680 That made it so I was very self-aware of it at a young age.

00:38:40.660 I was like, oh, this is like different than everybody else, but really cool.

00:38:43.400 And that's a fun thing about me is like 10-year-old Brett.

00:38:46.380 Yeah.

00:38:46.740 It's kind of special.

00:38:47.520 oh that's fun so she'll be great okay cool and she's moving oh yeah you're getting pretty organized

00:38:53.860 yeah you're getting pretty organized well good for you yeah yeah a lot's changed when was the

00:38:58.560 last time we did the last podcast was that two years ago i think so it's 2022 okay wow coming

00:39:03.700 up on probably 2025 yeah yeah three years wow okay well i'm excited for your channel thank you

00:39:10.400 you have like 400 000 already basically right and you haven't posted it yeah i think you i think

00:39:15.800 you're gonna be okay I mean it's like it's definitely nerve-wracking but it's also yeah

00:39:22.280 that must have been nerve-wracking after spending that long growing like that's yeah nerve-wracking

00:39:27.640 I think the best thing that I can take away from it is and it's interesting because I feel like I

00:39:33.460 go through these periods every few years I have to like take a big risk and like revive that part

00:39:37.780 of myself because I've told the story before but Daily Wire had slid into my dms and they were like

00:39:43.160 we want to do a show and we think you're really interesting and I was terrified and I almost

00:39:48.120 didn't even send in like a tape they wanted me to like react to a story and kind of talk through

00:39:53.140 obviously my values and that sort of thing they were vetting me and I had the video recorded I

00:39:57.880 was terrified I was like I can't do it and I had just moved my mom's farm and I was so I was just

00:40:03.720 like out of practice because I was an actor and so I had spent 10 years doing auditions and saying

00:40:08.760 them off and getting rejected literally every single day and because of covid and the vax i

00:40:13.660 hadn't auditioned in like a year and so it was just totally like shut off like there was no risk

00:40:19.820 taking i wasn't building anything i was not creating i was literally working as a waitress

00:40:25.020 in boise and was writing for foundation for economic education and had like a job on the

00:40:29.300 marketing team at young americans for liberty and it was all great and i had made good friends and i

00:40:33.260 was you know felt like I had a good job but I wasn't I wasn't taking any risks and I wasn't

00:40:39.400 reaching what I probably knew could be mindful potential but I was so shut off and my mom I was

00:40:46.680 like kind of you know sheepishly like I haven't sent off the tape knock I'm just not gonna do it

00:40:50.160 I'm not gonna do it she basically like grabs my throat yeah and it's like I don't care if you say

00:40:53.900 no and you never want to leave but you will never get this opportunity again you're shooting yourself

00:40:57.780 to the foot like stop being like a brat about it basically and I don't care if it doesn't pan out

00:41:04.320 but you're not taking a chance on yourself you're not betting on yourself and even trying and again

00:41:11.220 I was just out of practice and so that was like three years ago when we built this entire thing

00:41:14.880 and I think that's how I was feeling again and that's how I feel in this moment where it's like

00:41:18.800 you know I'm 23 years old we don't have kids yet we're like recently married it's like if there's

00:41:23.420 a time to swing for the fences uh yeah do it and it felt really exhilarating this entire process

00:41:29.780 has felt really exhilarating for that reason because it's just like i'm like she's been like

00:41:34.780 adrenaline oh yeah seven but in a really really great way and i think it's just a good character

00:41:40.000 building should do it every couple of years just take a big risk yeah definitely no i i think it's

00:41:46.100 good you're gonna be fine like a whole bunch of opportunities gonna come that couldn't present

00:41:49.900 itself earlier. Yeah. It's going to be super fun. And having your own channel is great. Yeah. I'm

00:41:55.540 excited. And you have it already. So that's fantastic. Wow. Okay. Well, good luck with

00:42:02.280 everything. Thank you. Um, are you still, do you think you're still going to delve into politics?

00:42:07.120 I think so. That's, you know, politics and culture is so intersected now. I don't think

00:42:12.940 that there's a way to unravel them. And I think when you're somebody who is so principled and

00:42:18.560 driven by your values there isn't a way to separate them even if you wanted to and I think

00:42:24.780 that it's important for people especially young people to understand where politics touches every

00:42:28.780 single aspect of their lives and impacts every aspect of their lives even in you know and that

00:42:33.280 was the basis of common section as well of like politics even touches your TikTok trends and it

00:42:38.500 impacts the way celebrities talk to you it impacts the content that you see it impacts your school

00:42:44.160 system. And so you need to have the tools to be able to unpack that and analyze it and at least

00:42:48.980 understand it because you can't, you know, get away from it. I think it would be a net negative

00:42:52.520 on society if you could shield yourself from, you know, opposing, you know, positions or hide from

00:42:57.440 politics. You need to be aware of what's impacting you, but you have to be able to break it down so

00:43:02.420 you're not just taking in these supplemental messages, not understanding them. Yeah. And so

00:43:06.680 I think that will always be a part of what I do because I think it's important. I'm excited to be

00:43:12.820 able to reach across the aisle more too. And I think that that, this is like the perfect time

00:43:16.560 to do that. Like there's never been a time, at least in my life when people are so willing to

00:43:22.660 listen and have conversations. There's so much excitement about this like next golden age with

00:43:27.540 what people were talking about. Uh, and hopefully it comes to fruition, but it just feels like a

00:43:32.360 great time to have those conversations and bring even more people. You're way more positive than

00:43:38.420 me. I was, I saw, I'm having trouble with this actually. And I know it's wrong because you're

00:43:44.100 like, but I'm still harboring. I think after what my family went through, I'm like, I'm still

00:43:49.900 harboring. There's like resentment, which I like resentment is just toxic. So I know that's bad for

00:43:54.480 me, but like, I see some people went up, throw the young Turks under the table being like, Oh,

00:43:59.920 we've, you know, we've realized we've realized we've been lied to. And I'm just like, I screw

00:44:06.440 you kind of like it was obvious four years ago and then yeah you spent four years insulting and 0.96

00:44:11.740 alienating everybody and now oh suddenly now it's fine and everyone can be friends yeah it's walking

00:44:16.800 I don't know like I need some apology or something like that was bad those were bad years they were

00:44:23.440 they were awful and I think it's again it's like walking that fine line like you said of like

00:44:26.720 getting some kind of apology of like like yes this was so wrong and so bad and we did terrible

00:44:32.540 things but it's like I never want to say like you're not allowed no I know so it's like finding

00:44:37.200 that balance yeah yeah I understand the resentment is and especially with what you and your dad went

00:44:42.140 through what he's still going through yeah oh Canada's still a mess I've got great faith in

00:44:46.740 America and I know Canada always like the nice thing about America is Canada always follows suit

00:44:51.740 it takes like two or three years although they're having an election in 2025 so that's like right

00:44:58.360 away. Um, but they always follow suit. So if America figures it's shit out, then Canada's

00:45:04.260 going to be fine. Your dad's gonna be like, I'm leaving Arizona. I'm going back. He likes it here. 0.99

00:45:08.400 He likes it here a lot, but I don't know. I also totally understand. Like I have a, I have a lot

00:45:13.200 of liberal friends in Canada that were totally brainwashed. Yeah. And I get that. Yeah. Like I

00:45:18.000 do get being brainwashed. It's the people that were like, you should have known better. Like

00:45:23.860 you you there would must have been a part of you that knew what was going on like it's different

00:45:28.640 if you're like a housewife or stay-at-home mom or even like a dude that has a job or something

00:45:33.980 you're surrounded by other liberal people but when your job is to be engaged and be in in politics

00:45:38.860 yeah that's your job yeah and you're like a middle-aged person and you have a huge channel

00:45:44.160 yeah like think yeah that's my opinion on that like you're allowed to have different opinions

00:45:50.340 and i don't care if you think differently but it was the vitriol and the attacks it was that part

00:45:54.860 yeah just so mean yeah constantly yeah so that's how i'm feeling i didn't even even dad was like

00:46:01.540 should we reach out it's like hmm i was like yeah yeah probably i guess that's what a good person

00:46:07.160 would do yeah like fine yeah whatever it should be good he's always leading the way he's being

00:46:13.900 a good moral compass i know i know he is it's fine i'm sure i'm not mad at very many people i think i

00:46:21.620 mostly i think i mostly annoyed at the people that really really went after my dad and so it's like

00:46:26.500 not exactly on my behalf which i think makes it worse because if it's like against you you can be

00:46:30.360 like whatever yeah but if it gets somebody you love then you're like you were i remember yep i

00:46:36.520 remember but it's fine are you excited are you gonna go to the inauguration i think so yeah i

00:46:43.620 want to go pumped it's going to be huge it will be there's balls and things been invited to like

00:46:49.520 it's like oh that's like a huge party i know it's crazy i'm canadian i'm just gonna like sneak in

00:46:54.100 there oh my god i'm doing experience yeah i didn't even have plans yet and then right after

00:47:00.940 you know the election i was like flights booked hotel booked i was like i don't have a plan you

00:47:05.560 got a hotel and everything yeah that was smart i had to claw my way into a hotel i believe that

00:47:10.900 apparently they're booked out for the next inauguration too really yeah that's why i guess

00:47:15.760 that's just what happens in america i guess i don't think we have that kind of i'm not used to

00:47:19.380 it at all i don't think we have that in canada no one cares like oh you were talking about how

00:47:23.500 young people need to know how politics touch every aspect of their life which is so important

00:47:27.540 especially when you go to public school and you're like that's ideology that's not education

00:47:31.940 uh i remember when i grew up it didn't matter who was in office like it didn't matter it may

00:47:37.500 have made more difference in america who was in office but in canada it really didn't make a

00:47:41.260 difference if it was conservative or liberal so you just didn't really care yeah i was always kind

00:47:45.960 of anti-conservative because they were like old uptight white guys and i was like you don't want

00:47:50.080 to do anything fun yeah uh but it literally made no difference to anybody on the ground

00:47:55.020 it's definitely making a difference now yeah it's destroyed canada yeah so i think everyone

00:48:00.240 maybe that's partly why they got hit so hard too is because everyone was used to it being stable

00:48:05.240 we didn't have like even even neighborhood violence and stuff that was for america like

00:48:10.580 america has that they have school shootings that's not in canada we're fine and then it just like

00:48:16.300 you get comfortable and you're able to tune it out and i think that's one thing that i would

00:48:23.440 like warn young people about is like yeah if the next four years are great that's awesome i want

00:48:28.080 them to be great and we should be able to revel in how amazing this is and the fact that things

00:48:32.320 are cheaper and we're flourishing and we feel safer and more secure, that doesn't mean that

00:48:36.680 you take your foot off the gas. That doesn't mean that you become complacent and stop caring and

00:48:40.680 stop being simply engaged. It doesn't mean that you stop caring about what's going on at your

00:48:45.480 local community. It's like you should care more because the other side's going to be angry and

00:48:50.740 ready to fight back. But I think those are the periods when complacency obviously happens and

00:48:57.700 they're able to whatever we want to call it cause corruption and chaos and pull the rug out from

00:49:03.100 under us yeah it never stays good forever right no there's always going to be fighting at some

00:49:07.460 point yeah it's the cycle of yeah you know hard times creative it's you know we're in it right

00:49:11.780 now yes but maybe this is a good period i've got i've got faith good i think it's going to be good

00:49:16.880 i think it's going to be good so is your recommendation do you think for people your

00:49:21.520 age like when you're talking to friends do you usually encourage them to like find someone

00:49:25.260 and settle down for sure and not necessarily said you know what settle down was part of the problem

00:49:31.420 yeah right because it isn't settling down it's not doing hookups like specifically that's what

00:49:37.740 it is it's not settling down and settling down does sound it sounds bad negative yeah and slowing

00:49:43.800 down everything turns off and your life is over exactly down and there is an aspect of it where

00:49:48.100 you do like emotionally slow down which is really nice and you become very comfortable and again

00:49:53.860 especially like as a woman my nervous system was like yeah oh and that's great but that gives you

00:49:59.580 so much ammunition to go on and do great things in your life to build great things and whether

00:50:03.200 that is like starting a business just doing well in your job or whether that's having kids and

00:50:07.740 creating such a great life it just gives you such an important foundation to grow off of and yeah

00:50:14.340 that word settling down just does not encompass it at all but I think yeah advice when I'm talking

00:50:18.300 to my friends is find that good significant other who is going to build with you and grow with you

00:50:25.080 whatever that looks like and don't delay it I think that there you know I have a good friend who

00:50:29.400 she had a very specific goal of a place that she wanted to live and she wanted to move abroad

00:50:36.360 and it had always been like I want to check this off I want to do this and I really admired her

00:50:41.660 because a lot of people around her were getting married and dating and she was like I and she was

00:50:46.900 young at the time she's still young but this was a few years ago and she was like I'm gonna keep

00:50:52.580 my eye on the prize and I'm gonna get there and I'm gonna meet a person there because I want my

00:50:57.220 life to be in Europe and that's what I'm gonna do and I don't want to be distracted and I think

00:51:01.580 there's some people that would look at that and go like oh you're like putting your career and

00:51:04.540 your own selfishness over it but she had a very clear idea from a very young age of what she

00:51:09.640 wanted this lifestyle to look like and she had that idea and she got there and she met this

00:51:14.920 amazing guy and it's like it all you know he fit into that puzzle piece and she's building this

00:51:19.780 incredible life she got this amazing job abroad and she's literally living what she wanted

00:51:24.180 and so it's that balance of knowing it's such a dance of you know what what can you do to put

00:51:32.020 yourself in the situation to meet that right person and you might be there already and that's

00:51:36.860 great but if there are things this is where again it gets into like the girl boss like territory of

00:51:41.120 like if you just want to like get that career and buy the house whatever it's like that doesn't

00:51:44.360 matter as much but there if there's a place that you need to be emotionally and if you need to work

00:51:49.820 on yourself and you want to make sure that you have this foundation set so that you're ready to

00:51:53.240 welcome a good person to your life then focus on that that's great um then it panned off for her

00:51:57.760 in just a really really beautiful way I think the last time I did a like a solo kind of Q&A

00:52:05.040 talking about relationships my advice for young people was work on yourself like you have a bit

00:52:10.760 of time to work on yourself and really figure out what you want and get more secure. So your life

00:52:17.680 isn't in total chaos and then find somebody at least that's what would have, I think worked

00:52:22.560 better for me. I was like, I was brought up knowing that I needed to focus on a relationship

00:52:27.540 and that that was seriously important and that marriage was really important. And my dad tried

00:52:31.440 to explain these things that like marriage gives you freedom, which was really difficult to

00:52:35.800 understand before I got married to Jordan. And I was like, Oh, okay. Yeah. My nervous system

00:52:40.480 isn't on fire anymore and I don't need that because now I can go do other things just like

00:52:44.620 you said but I think for people like me it was important for me to get a bit older and I'm not

00:52:50.680 talking about old like I would I could have done this younger but uh get your life in order like

00:52:57.080 get as educated as you want to be and like be a bit stable so you can welcome somebody in

00:53:01.860 and you're not pure chaos yeah I think people confuse that with the material achievement yeah

00:53:07.200 and I think that's probably where the nuance is is that it's like I disagree with the idea that

00:53:12.340 you need to have the six-figure job and the house and the car that you want and that you've gone on

00:53:16.480 all your vacations and whatnot and xyz but I do agree that you need to have worked through a lot

00:53:22.440 of your crap yeah and exactly so that you're not bringing a lot of that baggage in um and I probably

00:53:28.460 could have done a better job of that at the you know the beginning of Alex's my relationship but 0.97

00:53:32.060 He was so patient and kind about that, but I was already, I was very aware of what the

00:53:36.940 issues were and kind of what I was going to bring into a relationship because of my family.

00:53:41.440 So I was at least aware of that and could identify it, but it's that it's again, knowing

00:53:46.640 what you want and where your life is going to go.

00:53:49.620 And yes, having just your stuff together and being emotionally stable so that you're not

00:53:54.620 going to disrupt somebody else's life, that's super healthy.

00:53:57.420 And you should take the time that you need to do that because then you're not going to

00:54:00.820 be wasting your time down the line with you know a relationship that's going nowhere because

00:54:04.460 you're not even in the right mindset yeah that was perfect it's a dance for sure that's kind of

00:54:08.820 where I was with Jordan fully aware of what all the problems were yeah which is way better than

00:54:13.760 being unaware yes for sure and like trying to deal with them I also think it's way easier

00:54:17.960 and men probably have the same experience but it's way easier if you have someone you can talk

00:54:23.620 through your issues with if you're not like so traumatized by them that you can't talk about

00:54:29.100 them but if you can say hey this like this happened oh I'm still upset by it yeah like

00:54:34.120 can I tell you what happened having someone there that'll listen to you like it makes it so much

00:54:39.620 easier to release than trying to sort it out in your own head yeah like people need people to talk

00:54:44.420 to and somebody to identify the patterns for you that you might not be able to see or it's like

00:54:49.600 there are some things that I had no idea that I did repeatedly that were definitely not healthy

00:54:54.600 and didn't serve me at all like I was would apologize I'm it's a kind of dichotomy in my

00:55:00.520 personality where in terms of you know work and how I am publicly I'm kind of a bulldog and I'm

00:55:05.300 very outspoken and I don't really care but in my personal life and I think it's just because of

00:55:08.900 how my family was I automatically became the peacekeeper and I did not want to rock the boat

00:55:13.900 I was like there's too much chaos I'm just gonna like protect everything I apologized constantly

00:55:18.060 like would not let myself get mad at Alex wouldn't like say hey I don't love it when you like nothing

00:55:23.420 I was just like I'm so sorry whatever and I was so grateful because very early on he was like you

00:55:28.900 don't need to apologize to me for any of this like this is you know have you noticed that you

00:55:34.040 are so terrified of even taking a misstep he was like you're apologizing for things that I'm not

00:55:38.300 even noticing that aren't even a problem and like you're not you're like the smallest thing of you

00:55:43.760 know I had asked for one thing and he had done something else because maybe our communication

00:55:47.460 wasn't as clear and I was like I couldn't even bring myself to say that to him because I was

00:55:51.260 just like oh my god he's gonna like hate me i'm just i can't i can't work i'm just gonna whatever

00:55:53.960 and having somebody that lovingly and kindly can say this is what you're doing this is not

00:55:58.920 healthy you don't need to do that that's so helpful and then to also go like why do you

00:56:04.480 think you're doing this and it's like oh i had no idea that i was going to be bringing this into a

00:56:09.980 relationship and that it was you know i thought this was something i just like did with my parents

00:56:14.180 because i it's just like i had no idea so yeah it's super helpful to have somebody who can just

00:56:18.080 be on the outside yeah I did that when I was younger I like so by the time I met Jordan that

00:56:24.020 was gone but I definitely did that when I was hardened yeah yeah hardened and just like I just

00:56:29.700 don't care at all like about what I say and how it makes anyone feel like grow a pair yeah like

00:56:34.740 but to a point that was maybe not so so great but I don't know maybe I'm fine but it worked out but

00:56:40.360 I had that really badly until probably like 26, honestly, where it was, it would be better not

00:56:49.380 to say it if it's going to hurt somebody's feelings. I think I've been told a lot as a

00:56:53.180 teenager too, like you're mean or you're hurting my feelings when I was just saying something.

00:56:57.300 I wasn't trying to be mean or like, that's mean. I was like, yeah, I don't understand how that's

00:57:02.160 mean. It's just, it is what it is. Yeah. And so I kind of shut that part off and which was just

00:57:08.860 not a good idea yeah for sure so I get that that's hard okay Brett well congratulations on your new

00:57:16.960 life and your new YouTube channel I'm very excited to see what happens it'll be great I'm pumped it's

00:57:21.900 gonna be an adventure for sure yeah I think it's gonna be huge and that again that YouTube channel

00:57:26.940 is Brett Cooper yes so that should be easy to find very easy okay great well thank you so much

00:57:32.480 for coming out and coming on good luck with everything it's so nice to see you again yes

00:57:36.560 And I'm glad to be back here doing this again.

00:57:38.580 It's like a ritual now.

00:57:40.060 Yeah.

00:57:40.660 Again, we'll catch up in another two years.

00:57:42.440 Yeah, for sure.

The Mikhaila Peterson Podcast - January 31, 2025

Brett Cooper on Her New Show, Marriage, Kids & Farming ｜ EP 222

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