The Roseanne Barr Podcast - Shannon Hughey ｜ The Roseanne Barr Podcast #017

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00:00:57.820 agreement with eye gaming ontario okay hey everybody hi welcome uh this is the roseanne bar podcast

00:01:05.740 and i'm very excited to be uh conversing with my guest tonight who just happens to be my oldest friend

00:01:15.460 in uh in uh the world and she is also uh my confidant my uh stylist and my makeup artist to the star

00:01:28.380 and uh dear friend welcome miss shannon hughie bergevula bersanne bersanne i haven't changed my name

00:01:39.540 she recently was married to a man named john bersanne and it has no vowels in the name interesting

00:01:46.660 well there is an a it's b-r-s-a-n oh there is a vowel excuse me i have to rewind and cut that

00:01:55.820 i'm happy to see you i haven't seen you for a while i know it's been since uh memorial weekend

00:02:06.200 in austin did i see you then yeah remember you got super high and bombed at the mothership

00:02:12.640 that was shannon yeah so you were under shannon and we did joe rogan at the mothership and tony

00:02:17.460 oh my god i remember that i told you i go honey i'm never coming back here didn't i yeah i was

00:02:24.960 bumming i did a terrible job on stage did not oh i thought i died 10 dogs deaths that's what it

00:02:32.320 sounded like by you when shannon was texting me during she's like she's doing great everyone

00:02:35.660 loves it and then i went to pick you guys up and you said it was the worst set you ever did

00:02:40.200 oh yeah i was ashamed of myself was it really that bad though no no i think you just got too high

00:02:47.580 yeah another time that i got too high you know i think i get nervous so i smoke pot and then i forget

00:02:55.320 all my jokes all my punchlines and i get even more nervous so it doesn't even help me it hinders me

00:03:02.180 i'm on the verge of sobriety no there's that that window where if you open it too far

00:03:11.420 it's bad there's that fine line of here's where it's good and then it's too much and then you forget

00:03:19.780 everything and then you're nervous and then you know you're forgetting everything and then you freak

00:03:24.420 out and then you know and that's really great on stage to be going through all those emotions

00:03:29.400 yeah it's not good on stage now you've seen me on stage for several years haven't you how many

00:03:35.040 years well i met you in october 1997 and you were going to barbara streisand's wedding oh that's

00:03:44.600 right didn't you do my makeup for her wedding yes that was the first time did you go i didn't know

00:03:50.380 yeah did i look good she married james brolin did i look good yes of course you look i can't remember

00:03:56.260 what i was wearing hell no do you remember what my makeup and hair was like just you know super soft

00:04:04.500 and beautiful and you know you wanted to look classic it's babs you know you got it i didn't

00:04:11.500 want to outshine her what was the wedding like i'm so people want to know yeah kind of stuff yeah

00:04:17.900 oh it was lovely and she's lovely and he's lovely and i invited him on my show you know at james

00:04:24.480 brolin and he came on to play my fantasy man when i was in my that's right i guess that was my eighth

00:04:32.340 season and uh you know after i'd won the lottery and uh i think it was shortly before i purchased the

00:04:40.180 town a lot of people don't really know how that show how i wrapped that up yeah i don't yeah i know

00:04:47.700 no one cares but well tell us this is a special well i people would lie as in roseanne connor

00:04:54.020 she uh won the lottery and she goes and she buys the town factory that she used to work in

00:05:02.140 that she walked out of when she tried to you know organize it her sister and fellow workers

00:05:08.260 in lanford illinois so she goes back and she buys the factory and she institutes

00:05:15.120 profit sharing which is my politics are of profit sharing for workers

00:05:22.280 and uh so that's what she does and thereby saves the town and that was my final uh that was my next

00:05:31.800 the last season that's sweet because i felt like you know when i first became rich and incredibly

00:05:38.860 famous and wealthy and gorgeous gorgeous i that was my fantasy was to uh you know it really was part

00:05:51.940 of my fantasy was to you know help other people okay wait back to barbara's wedding

00:05:58.660 yeah tell me tell me about that yeah give the people what they want oh it was her wedding reception

00:06:04.760 oh did she have on white still at the reception did she had on a lovely lovely attire is all i

00:06:11.700 remember lovely it was at uh what's his name's house that has that gorgeous house there up on the hill

00:06:18.900 david uh the songwriter foster yeah david foster because he was at beverly's yeah wedding

00:06:26.360 mm-hmm and he that was him and two wives ago he's since remarried twice and so have i she's like

00:06:34.020 35 and he's like 70 or something yeah his new wife is that singer yeah on uh the dark-haired chick

00:06:41.320 what was her name on the uh star search yeah what is it american idol american idol and she's

00:06:48.760 dating yourself it all this all blends together at my age but she was quite good yeah yeah and they

00:06:57.800 have a kid oh they do oh and he'll be about 90 when the kid graduates from high school just like you

00:07:05.400 ma yeah kind of like me no i'm 70 and my my youngest is 28 as you and you're about to turn

00:07:12.820 71 so i'm trying to think of what i should do for my birthday party because i never gave myself a

00:07:20.420 70th birthday yeah that was i have not given myself any birthday parties for quite a while let's have

00:07:26.620 like a but here i am on my own and you know the one thing i missed by being in a relationship for so

00:07:34.060 many years was giving up my parties and i'm going to return to that okay and girlfriends yeah that's

00:07:42.660 the thing is when you're in a relationship you you tend to give up everything you love

00:07:48.660 that's the best part no here's just a thought uh-huh girls weekend jake films us all sounds

00:07:58.820 horrible already five five of your or three or four yeah three's enough and we go to like

00:08:06.620 maybe four the bahamas or something or nash no not nashville somewhere like not too far out of the

00:08:15.180 realm or you can really party down or wait ayahuasca and wherever that everybody says that you barf or

00:08:25.520 crap yourself yeah that doesn't sound fine that's you're gonna do that on your birthday anyway

00:08:29.760 might as well get something out of it jake jake look at

00:08:36.640 i i do want to try that ayahuasca everybody was telling me that it changed their life for trauma

00:08:43.840 yeah which god knows um can we talk about you've been through like i don't know 10 traumas

00:08:52.000 oh that's easy i'd say double yeah 25 okay 25 life-threatening life-ending traumas i'd say

00:09:01.420 emotional traumas and some physical the worst how can you ask me that i don't even i know they've all

00:09:11.280 been blanked i'm thinking of a worse but yeah i don't want to talk about that no let's talk about

00:09:16.140 the worst things that have ever happened that'll be a job people would actually like that to be

00:09:22.160 honest i would love it if you did so i met the worst was huh i met you in 1997 quit slapping the

00:09:29.640 couch oh sorry okay you met me in 1997 yeah i was i was doing a dry uh dry rehearsal i guess you'd say

00:09:39.700 for my talk show which was about to begin and we were doing it at a little theater no no we did it

00:09:47.600 at television city and this we did it at the stage oh we did but it wasn't done yet oh isn't that

00:09:54.940 interesting you thought it was at a little theater it was at cbs television city oh really oh and so

00:10:06.660 jake do you know you know this story don't you i don't think he does which story is this how i

00:10:13.280 connected with her uh no tell me okay weird it's wild i we believe in god and god has a plan for each

00:10:25.820 and every one of us and you can't make this shit up so i did her friend beverly gatika's wedding

00:10:36.060 makeup and then i started doing beverly's hair and makeup and she goes i need you to do my makeup

00:10:42.180 and hair for lionel richie's party rosanne's gonna be there and i'm like okay so i went to her house

00:10:50.340 did it all she went she goes rosanne asked me who did my hair and makeup she loved it and i'm like

00:10:57.320 did you give her my number you know and of course she didn't because those bitches are stingy bitches

00:11:03.080 and they don't want to share well don't say that about beverly okay yeah we'll edit that out okay

00:11:11.220 anyway so then i'm like i'm never gonna meet rosanne quit slapping the couch i'm never gonna

00:11:19.640 is that echoing okay yeah i'm never gonna meet rosanne i don't know how am i ever gonna connect

00:11:26.200 with her so i my friend was visiting i take him down hollywood boulevard in front of man's chinese

00:11:33.040 theater to see the footprints and all this stuff it's very windy a piece of paper blow jake look at

00:11:39.400 me i'm watching on the monitor piece of paper blows up and hits my leg and i'm like and i look at it

00:11:46.900 come meet rosanne bar in an informal gathering of her talk show at cbs television city hollywood so

00:11:54.340 it's like in three days and i'm like okay i'm i have a porn to work on that day doing porn

00:12:02.920 hair and makeup yeah specify hair and adult movie hair and makeup no you said i have a porn to do but

00:12:09.320 you mean the makeup no i wasn't in the right you gotta be you're on a podcast i did the hair and

00:12:14.800 makeup okay so i didn't know there was hair and makeup everyone hilarious i'll do the porn people's

00:12:20.680 hair and makeup and i gotta go because i gotta go see rosanne and so then i get there and they're

00:12:27.860 like do you have false lashes and i'm like oh oh no and they go she needs false lashes so they had to

00:12:34.020 run out and then they go here she comes and i was like that's not true the first time you met me

00:12:41.480 i already had a guy doing my makeup you had done it before and you didn't like you had one hair one

00:12:48.600 makeup and you didn't like any two people i could do both no but didn't you come up to me when i was

00:12:54.600 on stage and go i could do that's part of oh okay go ahead i remember this okay i just thought you

00:13:01.200 were telling another no this was a life-changing thing in my life i will never forget every minute

00:13:07.180 of what happened oh okay okay can i hear about the barbara strideson wedding or no we're past that

00:13:12.120 was it nice oh it was lovely like was there food like what did they dress up yes they had a lot

00:13:17.680 they had lovely food they served lovely food did she talk to you oh yeah well i had been with her

00:13:23.920 several times before that my favorite time with her was we were in new orleans uh because it was

00:13:31.480 napki napty where they sell the shows and jim was selling his show jim pensacola wings of gold

00:13:39.460 and uh we we had the same manager me and jim and uh james she's she's name dropping with babs i love

00:13:49.560 it and uh so we was walking down the street and the sheriff came and he says i'd like to take you

00:13:56.080 ladies gator hunting later this is and uh we'll go in the thing and i was so stupid you know with

00:14:05.720 all of my ticks and problems and my ocd and what have you you know i go i i just i can't go in a

00:14:15.860 swamp i'm sorry wait you were gonna go gator hunting with barbara strideson and james berlin

00:14:20.660 and you turn it down yeah because i got too nervous babs doesn't do that both she did go

00:14:26.880 and i asked the sheriff the next day uh what did i miss i i said i'm kicking myself in the ass

00:14:33.360 that i didn't go and he goes well you should kick yourself in the ass we had a great time and she

00:14:39.560 loved it she just loved it and so he was telling me you know she never had done anything like that

00:14:46.140 how much she loved it and they all loved her you know and everybody was lining up and she was so

00:14:52.100 kind to all of them and sweet you know and uh so then we was walking around it was starting to get

00:14:58.360 dark and we was she wanted to see bourbon street we had a bunch of guys around us so we were safe and

00:15:04.020 walking bourbon street like security yeah and uh

00:15:09.140 they go uh i go hey let's go down there that uh let's go down there and see all the gays you know

00:15:17.820 and she then her ocd kicked in and she goes oh no i i would i i can't go down there because

00:15:25.440 the gays love yeah she'd be torn limb by limb you know i got a hank of her hair i got her nose

00:15:32.940 yeah well that would be quite the hole so i said oh yeah i didn't think that i didn't think that way

00:15:37.960 but uh but the gays love you too yeah but not like they look can you imagine being gay in new

00:15:45.280 orleans and roseanne bar and barbara streisand turned the corner wait do you say new orleans new

00:15:50.140 orleans all right so you that was it with barbara that's that's pretty cool well i i have had

00:15:57.300 you know i didn't know you were friends with her company many times i didn't know that i only

00:16:01.880 met her when you were looking at her name dropper well it's a podcast even though you say i am i

00:16:06.600 never said yeah yeah i had the pleasure of her company many times and uh and uh she likes a lot

00:16:15.440 of the same kind of antiques that i like she likes uh stokely tiffany lambs yeah and stokely

00:16:22.680 well she's stokely oh it's that really cool american kind of almost amish furniture it's really cool

00:16:31.820 i remember you went to look at her house you were going to buy it i went i was going to buy her

00:16:35.300 house but it just had too many stairs you know even that buck was little and i was just worried

00:16:42.160 about him on stairs so i didn't buy it i remember my ex-boyfriend that was the artist that you know

00:16:47.700 that we will not the artist formerly known as did stuff for her and she had a walk george washington's

00:16:56.300 first she bought george washington's first painting wow when he was like seven years old

00:17:03.080 it was him on a horse that he sketched i've seen that yeah and he was like i'm not starstruck ever but

00:17:10.560 i was sitting on the floor in front of her on my knees that's when you should have known that he was

00:17:16.480 gay so anyway you did um porn makeup right yes can you just tell me what that's like real quick for

00:17:22.460 i know what people want to hear okay is it normal movie set makeup or how's it different yes but

00:17:28.120 here's the deal you have to clean up after oh i'd always say don't come in their face

00:17:34.880 it's my work for me um but and plus if you get it in your eyes which you probably have never had

00:17:45.180 no i haven't had the eyes but it it burns and your eyes turn bloodshot red and get swollen so i'm

00:17:52.100 like please so you're like a cut man and like a boxing match like you have to get the bloodshot out

00:17:57.120 from the cum in their eyes um oh this is what people want i'm just i know the volume uh yeah you

00:18:02.880 not even eye drops takes that away though but anyway here's the funny part so i they're in the

00:18:09.120 makeup chair and we're like i'm doing their makeup and then the guy comes in hi i'm joe schlong and i

00:18:18.000 will be fucking you today and she's like hi joe okay yeah okay what are your likes and dislikes

00:18:24.820 okay don't pinch my titty nipples too hard um i don't want to kiss uh you can pull my hair like all

00:18:34.020 the likes and dislikes and then they're like okay cool okay see you in about an hour so professional

00:18:40.820 oh my god very professional oh my god and and then when viagra came out oh that was the worst

00:18:48.240 because they can't come and you know you need that cum shot yeah that's you know so you have like a

00:18:53.640 stand-in for that or no so we took oh what is that stuff called not survey uh the face wash that's

00:19:02.180 like oh the cetaphil cetaphil i never knew and we go oh like squirted all over the girls

00:19:08.880 oh really just destroyed porn and then they'd fake it and then it looked like cum all over a male

00:19:16.440 faked orgasm in porn this is groundbreaking and those chicks i mean no one hardly ever has an

00:19:24.380 orgasm on a chick well chicks don't do that anyway no i guess the ones you've been with but you know

00:19:30.840 but um so but you used to tell me that a lot of hollywood actors big names would come to the

00:19:39.600 porn set to watch the porns right yes just to watch rock stars actors you know they all love porn chicks

00:19:48.580 because i don't know why do you suppose well i think personally because they don't have they

00:19:56.100 like a certain comedian that i remember doesn't like to get involved they just want to have sex

00:20:03.680 so there's a certain kind of like okay let's have sex you're a porn star okay now there's no

00:20:11.780 are we gonna see each other again i love you you know there it's just like cut and dry sex

00:20:18.300 like a prostitute but you know who they are but what about the big stars that would come just to watch

00:20:24.760 because they're like sex freaks or maybe they want to see it live they don't want to see it like

00:20:32.480 on a video do they try to get involved or get their phone numbers and shit like that i didn't see any of

00:20:38.060 that honestly their entrance makes the bingo balls rumble in fear the free space is free out of respect

00:20:46.360 for them and their dabs are too fast for the naked eye they're not just grandmas they're grandmasters

00:20:53.540 betty dolly martha queens of delta bingo hollers of the hall and they're here to teach the next

00:21:02.520 generation of players learn what it takes to be a bingo master at grandmasters.ca

00:21:07.760 must be 18 plus play smart i can't say that that's kind of creepy to just show up i'll never

00:21:14.560 forget like can you give us a name does stuff no no i'm not gonna say any names the stuff that i saw

00:21:22.380 was kind of like at one point desensitizing because it's like this girl i think i told you

00:21:34.140 there was one time when a girl was like you know my my husband doesn't know i'm doing this he thinks

00:21:39.800 i'm a dancer and so she's like having a sex scene and they're like okay reverse cowgirl okay missionary

00:21:48.280 you know there's all the little things and then her phone rings

00:21:53.040 and everyone's like be quiet it's her husband and she's like hi honey yep i'm on a break oops i'm on a

00:22:02.980 break you know okay i'll be home in an hour feed the kids oh my god no they had families and stuff

00:22:12.400 why were they just doing it for the money i mean obviously um i think a lot of them just really

00:22:20.460 like sex some did it for the money because they realize if i'm a secretary all week for 40 hours and

00:22:26.740 i make 500 and then i make 500 for one hour having sex i'm good yeah uh-huh but do you think they like

00:22:36.580 the sex some of them like some of them did and there were couples that were husband and wife that

00:22:43.680 they're like okay cool we're into sex we're like let's make a living at it

00:22:49.240 and i you know i don't judge whatever i know i i met uh well i've yeah i like her yeah but i met a

00:23:01.380 lot of people that you know hang out with comedians that are strippers and sex workers and stuff like

00:23:08.320 that and uh you know they're selling a whole bill of goods you know and you know what that's a whole

00:23:18.460 lifestyle like it's all at night and i think comedians and strippers and all that it's like

00:23:24.320 a whole underground lifestyle at night but some of them told me like this one lady i guess i was in

00:23:33.520 my 40s and so was she but that you know she just enjoyed to have sex with people i was pretty shocked

00:23:41.300 because it was not anything that i had ever considered speaking of sex what about testosterone

00:23:49.160 hold on we gotta pause and uh this is a perfect time to talk about eating fruits and vegetables

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00:25:38.480 promo code rb great you were always a one take wonder um so anyway back to jizzing on people's faces

00:25:47.720 um we're talking about no what was the movie the disney movie with the cow where you played the cow oh

00:25:53.340 yeah uh that's over there uh rosanne what was that movie called that joke was down on the farm or some

00:26:00.820 uh home on the range you didn't hear my joke i said rosanne is that okay come on that was funny

00:26:07.660 um no i just want to say i you know i was around her a lot and then we did that uh cartoon thing and

00:26:16.560 she did the voiceover and she would do it they'd go do it like this she'd do it they go do it like

00:26:22.600 um softer she'd do that one take one take every single time that cartoon i was just like wow

00:26:30.380 she's a pro literally but you didn't do that many voiceover cartoons did you no but i had to do a

00:26:39.720 whole bunch of promos every yeah yeah yeah and look who's talking you're the voice of the girl in

00:26:44.580 the sequel the little baby yeah that's true oh i didn't know that yeah yeah with travolta and

00:26:50.520 kirstie alley she's god rest her yeah god rest her she was a good fighter

00:26:56.700 they killed her she she was really fighting there at the end for good stuff wasn't she yeah

00:27:01.200 definitely killed her she was the only you think they killed her i do she was the outspoken

00:27:06.180 hollywood republican well she was fine as a scientologist they protected her but as soon as

00:27:11.060 she started talking about the backs she had to go that's my theory i don't know she was she was

00:27:19.220 pretty old she was older than me was she uh not that old let me look this up i know she was a

00:27:25.720 couple years older than me um wait back to oh i remember we would wake up at like 5 a.m and you'd

00:27:35.080 have to do those promos yeah 71 hey watch me on abc cincinnati and then you do all of that oh my god

00:27:43.980 that was a nightmare all that stuff all right so where were we with the the porn well no he's

00:27:49.400 back no no then you met mom we never finished your story when you met mom yeah you did yeah i said she

00:27:54.540 said you got the job kid and then we did this fantastic this fantastic talk show and we had so

00:28:02.360 many cool people on yeah remember you rolling on the bed with um julio what was the iglesias or no

00:28:10.520 the the son enrique yeah enrique iglesias yeah he's pretty hot you were rolling on that round bed

00:28:18.020 because our stage remember it went in a circle and she had a kitchen remember the people in the

00:28:23.880 audience that they brought in and we found out they were hired from a mental institution

00:28:28.700 and like off the streets and stuff because they couldn't get not they didn't know how to get an

00:28:33.900 audience at cbs there that is a true story yeah they remember they was all mentally ill

00:28:40.460 and stuff and they'd be stealing toilet paper out of i don't remember that lady she goes hey

00:28:46.600 roseanne look i got my toilet paper and she'd hold it up in the crowd she told you yeah well we're lucky

00:28:53.320 that we weren't assaulted by yeah they were all crazy and i was trying to make them laugh their eyes

00:28:59.740 was going every witch away you know they're like oh you know what i'm sorry i'm gonna digress for one

00:29:06.420 second i forgot the part where when i was in the audience when you were trying the show out

00:29:13.620 and then that's i forgot that part i skipped yeah i have addd yeah and dyslexia okay so there was a

00:29:23.620 part where i went to the show for your thing and i was sitting in the front row and then she goes do you

00:29:29.840 have any questions she was walking around the audience and i go like this and she goes do i know

00:29:36.900 you that's what she said to me yeah and i was like in my head i heard no but you are gonna know me

00:29:45.140 and then i said what was your favorite pizza and then um after the show i was frozen everyone starts

00:29:53.680 leaving my friend's like if you don't get up there and give her your card this is before there was any

00:29:59.060 security around or any it was 1997 it was before 9 11 and i went up there on the stage i got on the

00:30:08.440 stage and she was in this big chair and everyone's like leaning over her going great job you did great

00:30:15.100 awesome beautiful blah blah and then i was on my knees in front of you on that chair and i go

00:30:21.840 this is my card i was uh i did beverly's hair and makeup at lana richie's party she told me you liked

00:30:29.980 my hair and makeup here's my card give me a call and i go that's not what you said at all you said i can

00:30:36.660 do your hair and i was gonna say okay then i go and you know what i think your hair and makeup look

00:30:43.720 like crap and i could do a better job now that's a salesperson and then she took my card and then

00:30:50.280 that that woman called me 20 because i did feel like i look like crap that guy was spraying shit on

00:30:57.520 my face like grout he was spraying like 14 levels of shit on my face and uh plucking and beating and

00:31:07.640 i did i you know i did a more natural no you're great you've been doing my mom's makeup since then

00:31:14.780 and everyone's always complimenting you know because you know why i like shannon because she

00:31:18.540 and we have to do a lesson for the older women i know because she can slap it on in 15 minutes yeah

00:31:25.580 and your hair in another 10 it's and that's what women our age and all ages really to do you don't

00:31:34.100 have like three hours to sit there can you give tips without showing like something you could tell

00:31:40.020 people that are watching yeah when you are older less is more moisturize moisturize tinted moisturizer

00:31:48.080 don't use a ton of foundation don't use a lot of powder more creams um if you have eyebrows and

00:31:56.540 eyelashes and liner that's really and then nude lips i mean you like a red lip which is fine you can do

00:32:07.040 you know accent one or the other one thing i liked you always said about older women is to keep your

00:32:12.580 hair long because a lot of women when they get that old they say they do that perm the short

00:32:15.920 perm it makes them look old speaking of which i took the toenail clippers to my hair yeah but i like

00:32:21.340 her hair now you don't like her hair i haven't seen it it's under a cap no it looks good show her

00:32:25.900 okay the unveiling i mean it's under a hat you did that with toenail clippers well she had it

00:32:31.080 i got it colored oh that's cute and it's like tozzly yeah i wanted it to look kind of punk rock

00:32:39.040 yeah because i thought i am punk rock you know and you cut it yourself they always try to make me look

00:32:46.020 all suburban and shit no that's awesome yeah right now it looks really cool right really yeah we were

00:32:53.120 telling you in vegas she looked awesome because i like this though like this in the back okay what's

00:32:58.160 that do shannon teach your tips um okay so like if you take your fingertips to the roots of your hair

00:33:04.120 like she was doing to the top let me try that yeah that like roughs it up and it's like teasing it

00:33:11.040 it makes it bigger oh yeah look at that oh i love it honey that's really yeah i like this

00:33:17.980 oh yeah she's my one of my idols debbie harry because you know what being conservative is kind

00:33:26.720 of like punk rock now it is absolutely it is no that's awesome oh my god i love it yeah oh cool

00:33:35.300 i didn't want you to say nothing so i left my hat on that's so cute you guys have been best

00:33:39.600 friends for 30 years and you're still shy about your head now um what about boyfriends

00:33:44.680 oh yeah you were the one that started on all that stuff i thought you were finally going to be

00:33:51.140 normal like me and not talk about sex all the time because that died and then you went and started

00:33:57.800 getting on the uh hormones and then you started being into sex again wait how do you make a hormone

00:34:05.240 kicker in the no this is your joke oh how do you make a hormone you

00:34:12.880 you don't pay her that ain't my joke you told me that i didn't write that well you told me that

00:34:20.740 how do you make a hormone you don't pay her no that ain't it anyway so you got on the pellet can

00:34:28.080 you tell the older because we have a lot of old women that listen to the show yeah so what tell

00:34:31.640 about you went and got on the testosterone right you lost your sex drive right yeah yes okay so and i

00:34:37.860 i liked her so much more yeah she was more available for shopping yeah she wasn't just

00:34:43.620 thinking about sex all the time like shannon always does she developed all i think about is shopping and

00:34:49.660 sex yeah so uh okay so you went on the hormones because i i thought you were crazy and my sister-in-law

00:34:59.000 hooked me up with a killer place and they're out of st louis in kansas city and so i get it's all of

00:35:08.480 course i have to pay out of pocket because it's all natural and it's good for you big pharma will

00:35:15.560 give you estrogen that gives you cancer and all of this shit i have to pay 500 no it's now 700

00:35:23.920 dollars every four months to get a pellet with estradiol which mimics estrogen and progesterone

00:35:31.880 which is a compounding pharmacy it's not like big pharma and um testosterone and is that it

00:35:40.500 estrogen it's a pellet right yeah put it in your and so i just got that like two weeks ago and um

00:35:47.900 i mean my can i like can i talk about my please yeah um when i before i got this and i had just met

00:35:59.200 my boyfriend i had a period then it stopped i was 50 then i was dry as the sahara desert i was like

00:36:08.060 um crepe paper up in my shit and it was terrible i would bleed and it hurt and i didn't want to have

00:36:16.080 sex anymore i had no sex drive it was dead then i remember i went to al pacino's house to do makeup

00:36:23.260 for his girlfriend and i started sweating profusely like on my mustache and my chest and i was like oh

00:36:30.260 my god what's happening the next day i curled my eyelashes they all broke off and i was like i don't

00:36:37.640 even know so i started googling it this is when google first came out in like 13 years ago or no

00:36:46.160 yeah 13 years ago and it was menopause and i did not know what that was because my mom had a

00:36:54.400 hysterectomy my mom no no one ever talked about menopause right right nobody did yeah and i mean did

00:37:01.920 you have hot flashes and everything oh yeah oh yeah all the time it was really weird but i

00:37:08.940 already was uncomfortable in my own body for my whole life so it wasn't shocking

00:37:14.140 you know just another day of the office yeah just another sweaty day i was like god now what's it doing

00:37:22.040 and so yeah then you know my boyfriend at the time was like okay what's happening but i still love you

00:37:33.120 and then i'm like i don't know you know whatever and we became friends first and then i got on that

00:37:41.200 pellet and i was like let's go i feel 25 yeah baby you know and it gave me more energy it gave me

00:37:51.100 more like you recommend it for the older ladies and i do i do it's bi-identical well i went on

00:37:59.740 some of that that joe rogan sent me to his doctor well they put me on the testosterone and estrogen

00:38:06.260 shots and a million other things not estrogen no no it's some kind of cream because there's a cream

00:38:14.320 where's that the testosterone the yam there's yam cream no but you know uh the testosterone though

00:38:20.540 talk about needing to shave with your five o'clock shadow mine i've shaved twice today i know yeah

00:38:28.120 it does bring in the beard and it does bring in the mustache because okay i did laser hair removal

00:38:37.140 and i have a lot of white hairs thank god no i'm and it doesn't remove the white hairs it only removes

00:38:44.300 the black and mine are mostly white like here i have like a full i mean and i'm starting to get it

00:38:52.420 over here now yeah i shaved there i shaved my whole face like a guy i do too i'll never forget i saw her

00:38:59.040 in the shower and she was like

00:39:02.200 puffing her face out shaving that's crazy no one ever talks about this this is good stuff i mean you

00:39:10.920 should see my uh chops your sideburns covered in full yeah she's got like all of his sideburns

00:39:18.620 i have to shave that actually can you know every four days i really do would you be willing to not

00:39:23.900 shave for a month just so i could see well i have so many chin hairs you wouldn't know have you ever

00:39:28.900 plucked like if they come in if you get long enough i'll spend like an hour i do that every day and i'll

00:39:35.900 just cry my and i think these ones the uh soul patch they hurt oh yeah yeah yeah yeah i got those

00:39:43.080 japanese razors those pink ones that's just single edge no i use the single edge japanese razors because

00:39:50.280 they go they're good is that like a derma plane almost yeah no i've plucked these right here and

00:39:57.680 they oh honey i want to tell people when i got that face thing when i drove oh that's great and we

00:40:05.880 haven't even gotten to the academy sorry we got to speed it up yeah we're gonna go we got to suffer

00:40:09.960 an ad too so we got what we have to do one more ad okay when now it's a you want to tell the story

00:40:15.560 and then do the ad or no do let's get the ad over with and then we'll tell the drugstores oh my god

00:40:20.780 this is going so well dude it's great you guys are great um also there's not very many podcasts where

00:40:26.960 women are talking about shaving their face this is a first this is for diet smoke yeah and this is our

00:40:32.040 favorite sponsor currently and they've been sending you a lot of weed because they know that you like the

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00:42:04.800 journey to cannabis bliss diet smoke your partner in finding the perfect thc products remember that i was

00:42:17.280 wanting you to tell uh jake hasn't heard this story when i got what was that called honey the facial

00:42:23.260 uh i got done the chemical peel you talked me into getting botox that's how it all started and then we

00:42:30.740 went and fillers and then they did like a laser on your face you told me go get that laser and so

00:42:40.500 they lasered her entire face and they gave her valium to keep her calm and her picture her face

00:42:49.520 swelled up like a pumpkin it was spooky and we get in the car she had just gotten a new tesla

00:42:57.100 this was years ago you had that blue one oh yeah here ready check this out guys

00:43:02.320 that one can you see it you don't see nothing you don't see it

00:43:07.880 yeah yes this one oh my god no not that oh yeah that one yeah oh i was scared when i saw her i was

00:43:19.600 like yeah it was really scary it was really scary and then her face like swelled up like a pumpkin

00:43:26.400 and then peeled but it looked good afterwards yeah right yeah um but anyway so they gave her

00:43:33.620 valium and she had just gotten the new tesla and she goes i'm driving bitch and i go no you're not

00:43:41.220 i'm driving no you're not bitch this is my new car i'm not i'm driving so she does she pulls a ue

00:43:49.400 i'm pico and she's like driving you know and it goes from zero to 60 in three seconds and she hits

00:43:57.580 this lady in front of us oh my god and then the lady pulls over and then your mom pulls over and

00:44:05.720 i'm like oh no this isn't gonna go very well and so i look at the lady's bumper and i'm like

00:44:11.120 there isn't any damage she's gonna mess this whole thing up floor it and she pulls out and

00:44:20.460 like 60 in three seconds and and then floors it back home and we were just like laughing our balls

00:44:28.980 off oh i hope that lady doesn't find me it was a black tesla yeah and uh you know there was no

00:44:38.280 damage to it dude i love your hair i've never seen your hair look so cool oh thank you yeah we

00:44:46.600 how'd you get so much texture in it oh i bought this texture you did have someone cut it though

00:44:52.380 right originally you just cleaned it up didn't you well i cut all hers off oh okay no you did it like

00:44:59.120 to make how you want it yeah i want to look how i want oh my god i've never seen your hair look so

00:45:07.380 good that's really my favorite haircut that's you really that's you i feel like it's me yeah and

00:45:14.660 the color i love it's like platinum yeah it's platinum to cover the gray i love it yeah it's

00:45:23.360 really uh and then you've got to do like black eyes you know like that's that'll be punk if you

00:45:30.620 this is like all punky and then black remember how remember when i was at cbgb in new york yes

00:45:40.000 it's like remember that outfit that was a cool look leather it was all leather you you know what i just

00:45:45.740 got good american and she's has you know she's all inclusive and i got a black shell and black you

00:45:53.520 know they're vegan leather but they're like so soft and like form love good american yeah you have it

00:46:01.780 what's vegan leather it's like fake leather but it's really soft i had i was putting on some uh

00:46:09.320 vegan leather bermuda shorts with pockets are so cute and uh i got up to they're old and i got up to

00:46:19.240 walk and by god half of them were still sitting on the chair when i got up to walk away

00:46:24.100 that that shit peels off yeah it does if it's in humidity yeah it made me mad well and they're old

00:46:34.080 yeah it peels off all right now tell me about new york when when you made my mother do the kid

00:46:39.180 oh yeah we always get we always party down in new york we like to go we like to party in new york

00:46:45.080 yes we love new york we love new york and we're shopping oh tell about when we went to bergdorf

00:46:53.560 goodman when we okay one of the times when we went to bergdorf was that when we did the mdma yes

00:47:01.120 in the bathroom on the toilet uh it's like the sex in the city reboot i put that you know the silver

00:47:09.800 stainless steel toilet thing that's flat so i laid out like little sprinkles of it and we would

00:47:15.600 just lick it and then we'd go wait a minute you made my mother do drugs off a toilet is that what

00:47:21.440 no no the toy the the toilet paper thing oh just the toilet paper okay yeah no it's the top no one

00:47:30.000 touches the top just the toilet paper roll in a public bathroom it was just the tips

00:47:34.000 so you guys are doing drugs in a bathroom in new york and then bergdorf goodman and then we

00:47:40.280 shot for like nine solid hours right and walk the streets of new york and i remember there was a guy

00:47:47.160 playing like the um pale the plastic pale and he was bongoing and then there was another guy dancing

00:47:53.760 and we were just like whoa this is so cool and you're like i love this

00:48:00.240 and then we did the k the ketamine she calls it ketamine it's ketamine right oh yes and um so we

00:48:13.860 were staying at the peninsula and then i said hey let's do the ketamine and she looked so good it was

00:48:21.700 it was february 14th she had a red jumpsuit on red lips her black glasses and we're walking the streets

00:48:30.080 like aimlessly high as fuck and then can i say the f word okay and then she's like oh what are we

00:48:38.640 gonna do and then there was this guy and when those pedal biking canopy things and he was playing like

00:48:46.540 rihanna or something yeah it was real and i was like let's go on that we're like okay so then i go okay

00:48:56.580 how much is this and he goes it's like 50 and 20 minutes for 20 minutes and you're like i have money

00:49:04.100 don't worry about it and so we he took us through times square and all the lights and the you know

00:49:12.960 the billboards and he was remember he was swerving yeah he was so fun he was so fun he was like a seven

00:49:20.100 foot black guy from uganda and he was so cool and then she goes stop here i want to dance

00:49:28.200 and then we got out and we danced at our butts off right there in new york city and then so fun there

00:49:37.080 was an ambulance coming and she pretended to freak out which i didn't know she was pretending

00:49:43.620 oh i was getting way into the drama of new york she was like like freaking out and i was like oh no

00:49:51.700 because i thought you were too high or something and i kind of freaked out and then you go i'm acting

00:49:57.960 and then you started dancing again do you guys want to watch a uh a video of what of this night

00:50:04.720 oh yeah you guys into it uh-huh yes all right give me one second all right this is the infamous

00:50:10.320 keter mean night yeah here we go time square

00:50:14.400 time is truly wasting

00:50:17.680 there's no guarantee

00:50:21.920 dollars in the bank

00:50:24.980 dollars in the bank

00:50:26.940 dollars in the bank

00:50:28.980 giving up all around me

00:50:35.760 i don't know

00:50:45.360 this is before the rogue and matrix

00:50:48.480 before you got the stem cells you had to get help

00:50:50.400 that doesn't show me dancing on my part i was way better i thought you were i thought you were

00:51:08.160 great you twerked please i tried to twerk remember where was it that i twerked and then they had to

00:51:14.320 wheel me out in san antonio right oh yeah can i tell a story yeah mom did stand up in san antonio

00:51:20.480 were you there yes you were there that night she was yeah she had the flannel shirt mom went on

00:51:26.000 stage and uh started twerking usually she'll she'll ease into the act yeah she went right up she was

00:51:33.340 feeling cold and she twerked and she got real low and twerked and then couldn't get up and people

00:51:37.980 from the audience had to get up and help her up but to your credit you then did like an hour and

00:51:43.500 40 minute set after right that's how i remember it uh-huh and then at the end of the set you

00:51:48.940 couldn't get off the stage and they had to put you on an office chair and wait for everyone to

00:51:52.220 leave and then we had to wheel you out we had to wheel you out yeah i hurt myself hurt myself bad

00:51:56.780 yeah well then you got the stem cell

00:51:59.020 no it's my knees oh yeah they gave out holding this wait you have stem cell yeah good for you

00:52:05.720 that's is it illegal here or did you know these are these aren't no they're not that kind of you

00:52:12.020 can take that out if you want it's out of your own blood oh okay because um my friend

00:52:17.640 needs she had her own blood stem cells put in her shoulder because her shoulder hurts but she goes i

00:52:23.940 think i'm gonna go to another country because it is it out of the baby's umbilical cord or something

00:52:30.960 the other stem cells the good stuff yeah i don't know i don't want to do that no well you can when

00:52:36.820 you have a baby you can keep the placenta i'm kind of over the hill to have a baby well i might have

00:52:42.920 another baby and you can have the placenta oh good oh good yeah that's cool i would do that for you

00:52:47.900 you need another grandchild i know it's awesome you are spreading the wealth and your see your

00:52:55.560 like legacy your eggs my eggs your eggs are cooked what what else have we done oh well let's see other

00:53:05.880 drugs we've done was we did the mushrooms in the uh forest there the volcanic forest the volcanic

00:53:14.220 forest in pahoa is that hawaii hawaii on the big island yeah yes i never got to do drugs when i was

00:53:21.440 younger yeah tell i was so i you know i do them with shannon because i want to experience she feels

00:53:27.800 safe with me yeah because i never did the mushrooms but then i did them with shannon and we went to the

00:53:34.700 uh volcanic forest and it was well it was just beautiful it was really cool i didn't really feel

00:53:41.480 anything though for one minute i did no you felt something it was it just felt trippy we didn't do

00:53:50.200 enough i didn't want to get too high where shit's dripping like you know yeah but remember you were

00:53:56.460 in the store and yeah i saw the buddha went 3d a poster of the buddha got all 3d jumped out at you

00:54:05.460 yeah yeah that was all i ever then i drove home for four hours so i wasn't i don't even know how

00:54:12.280 you drove i didn't really feel much he's probably like half a block away and took four hours no

00:54:17.460 right four hours we drove i love to drive i did mushrooms once in high school yeah and it was i

00:54:25.660 went camping with my buddy and um we were really safe and i never told you this story but uh it was

00:54:32.420 really funny because i took the mushrooms and then i started hallucinating he had really pretty eyes

00:54:37.020 he had ice blue eyes and i was feeling good and i looked at him and i was like you have beautiful

00:54:42.460 eyes thinking like we're a couple bros you know hanging out i can be honest he got so scared that

00:54:46.900 i was gonna have like trying to have gay sex with him that he ran into the woods and i didn't see

00:54:50.940 him till the next morning he hid from me in the woods thinking i was gonna try no sex with him

00:54:54.360 that was my oh my god and that's sad i was just being nice to a friend like really pretty eyes

00:54:59.600 your son misunderstood whatever but that was my after that i said i'm never doing dark skin but i

00:55:06.260 well then we did okay so one of your sons made the the butter oh yeah the pot brownies and she made

00:55:16.880 pot brownies oh they were good weren't they well shannon couldn't handle it she only took a little

00:55:23.120 tiny bite of it and freaked out like a plebe i passed out on the ground and you kicked me and

00:55:30.960 said you you can't hang with the big dogs when was this she kicked me terrible and i had was making

00:55:40.220 linguine and clams yeah i ate that that's when i i just that's what passed me out like i that was so

00:55:48.340 good though i think it was all the butter and i had to poop or something that's what i remember

00:55:53.140 sorry i'm so glad you brought that up i'm sorry um but no i mean the shopping i think it's cool that

00:56:00.820 you're having like a second adolescence because you never did that you had you had three kids by the

00:56:04.240 time you were like 25 or something so now you're getting four 24 you had three of us right or four

00:56:09.240 four and then you're like you got famous you're married no this is your this is your like adolescence

00:56:16.080 it kind of is because like i was a mom by the time i was five you were like raising my younger

00:56:21.100 sister and helping out like that i was the old oldest kid so i had to kind of be the junior mom

00:56:28.160 and i always was ultra responsible so i never got a party life and then you had to work and you

00:56:34.720 had four kids and you worked i so i said oh my 60s i'm gonna party and i did i love that i want

00:56:41.420 you to talk about that if you could i think that's such a cool well just there's a lot of probably older

00:56:44.960 people older women especially listen to the show that have never really yeah once your kids are

00:56:48.740 raised it's time to raise the roof get the ketamine up you don't get the ketamine yeah do all

00:56:54.100 that stuff well and it's legal here isn't it yeah oh with the with the doctor's note yes yeah you got

00:57:01.700 to go to a ketamine clinic no i know um it's it's but it does lift your mood for sure she said

00:57:08.880 i feel so good it's almost like i feel normal and i can be around people yeah i didn't i lost fear of

00:57:16.500 like an anxiety yeah yeah because i have anxiety around humans but uh yeah i think that your 60s and

00:57:25.700 70s should be all party i think we should all party our way out fuck this hospice care yeah and

00:57:32.540 that shit dying comfortably party your fucking way out that's why i was glad for your mom your mom went

00:57:39.300 that way she partied her way out to the last day dude she just she didn't want to go to the hospital

00:57:46.040 she knew something was wrong she went in they gave her morphine 10 days later it was all over

00:57:52.680 like why do you want to sit and rot in some yeah i like why do you want to find out your

00:58:00.300 you know you're dying it's like you know something's wrong okay go party till you like it's 1999 yeah

00:58:07.500 where were you in 1999 you know when the um new year's eve why to you know to 2000

00:58:14.800 um well wasn't that when i went to israel the first time i don't know yeah i wasn't i was working

00:58:22.360 yeah i don't know i can't remember you're kidding that's a monumental i know and i thought it was a

00:58:29.260 monumental date too but i can't remember where i was i'll have to look it up my friend marianne who

00:58:36.280 has cut your hair before you know marianne she was cutting adam sandler's wife's hair and she invited

00:58:43.240 her and her guests which was me to the bel-air to their party was it fun it was super fun kathy

00:58:52.120 bates was there quentin tarantino charlize theron winona rider um fiona apple david spade it was just

00:59:00.700 like we were high on on ecstasy sitting in the entryway by the fireplace watching everyone walk in

00:59:09.880 and then we went in and you know they were playing 1999 it was really cool you know and

00:59:17.060 um quentin tarantino smelled like vo i imagine that's probably how it is who's the weirdest

00:59:24.240 celebrity you've met that blew your mind for weird besides mom

00:59:27.640 ha ha oh god do you think of any weird and what way like just the most mind-blowing not what you

00:59:40.100 thought

00:59:40.580 god honey i'd have to think about i i'm drawing a blank right now i don't really want to

00:59:47.980 say who they were just say what they did comedians yeah comedians are the weirdest yes even more than

01:00:01.460 rock stars yeah yeah comedians are the weirdest by far they're worse than actors for the most yeah i

01:00:08.880 did meet a girl the other day that she was a nanny for the guy that created mtv and i don't even know

01:00:15.840 her so and i don't know him and she said the most narcissist that she'd ever met because she was at

01:00:24.640 their hamptons house nannying was oh my girlfriend used to go with him right remember yes and he's

01:00:36.940 gorgeous he is gorgeous yeah well i guess you have to be a little narcissistic to you know end up that

01:00:44.860 big well rock stars you want that adoration yeah well plus they have that energy they put off

01:00:51.180 we've both been with narcissists yeah more than one do you think you're like an expert on dating

01:00:58.020 narcissists like you can give tips i always want i want you guys to give tips that's what i'm getting

01:01:02.580 at do you know any tips don't fall for it like yeah what does it seem too good to be true

01:01:08.500 that's because it is okay here's the thing that i keep seeing on all those id channels

01:01:13.460 they love you so much they tell you how great you are how beautiful how much they love you

01:01:20.800 love bombing in the beginning and then they've got you hooked and then it starts the

01:01:28.720 slow burn yeah the slow trying to control yeah trying to uh no we know you can't ladies do not

01:01:39.980 let anyone control you and keep you away from your family and friends and isolate you

01:01:46.960 yeah that is control it's a telltale sign right what other telltale signs

01:01:51.680 the love bombing love bombing is big that's the biggest and what if it's someone who's just

01:01:59.600 romantic though at the beginning that's where i can't tell the difference that's a tough my shit's

01:02:03.840 all fucked up you gotta tell me why the narcissistic love bombing is worse than just the usual like

01:02:08.700 affection early on in a relationship you've got to figure that one out one of you yeah i don't

01:02:13.620 know we gotta help people here i think if they're it wears off when it's not when it's narcissist

01:02:22.660 it wears off when someone really loves you they tell you all the time like i've been with him for 13

01:02:31.760 years we always are like i love you i love you you know and it's like it was in the beginning it's even

01:02:38.760 more now because it's like we're stronger we started out like friends because you know and then now it's

01:02:45.420 more like i love you so much i respect you i want to be there for you they don't have that they're all

01:02:53.500 about themselves so it turns around from i love you i love you to love me love me show me care for me

01:03:02.740 right i don't know exactly i don't know what the difference is between being romantic and like

01:03:09.940 love bombing i don't know that's a good thing to think about and look into i just know that

01:03:16.440 it's all around flattery yes to know the difference between flattery and genuine

01:03:24.900 caring care maybe if it's is it like if it's true like can you tell like meaning like

01:03:32.600 are they just flattering you things they know you want to hear are they actually like

01:03:35.660 complimenting something that's true about yourself i think they figure out what you want to hear right

01:03:40.640 but what if it's not true then right i'm well then you don't then it won't work it has to be true

01:03:48.220 okay or it won't work you know flattery has to work this haircut makes you look so young i think a

01:03:55.080 good telltale sign from a narcissist is if if you really start decoding what they're saying

01:03:59.740 you'll realize it's really because they're narcissists everything is about a reflection

01:04:04.460 upon themselves yes so the compliment to you is how you make them look better you make them

01:04:09.980 remember that's never about you you guys remember the greek mythology narcissist looking at his own

01:04:16.780 self in the glit the mirror of the modern narcissist but i get i always get the ones that like they

01:04:26.000 it's so funny because it's like it it's like they're always calling me a narcissist because i'm famous

01:04:34.500 so it's like i think they get attracted to me because i'm famous and then they can project their

01:04:42.500 narcissism onto me and then go oh you're such a narcissist because all you care about is is

01:04:49.340 you know working to bring money in right right or something that's interesting and they wanna because

01:04:57.840 you got famous you're a narcissist well they want your stardom they're you know they want your star

01:05:07.240 yeah they start thinking that they um well i mean one of the ones i was with

01:05:12.280 they start thinking they are you and they are the star well he thought he was me and like always

01:05:23.260 mentioned my name in every conversation to like steer it so that it became about him and not me my

01:05:31.280 accomplishments um but it was uh you know it's about gaslighting it's like

01:05:39.200 it's some ugly shit there's a lot of videos on youtube about it yeah you said you've been kind of

01:05:45.920 studying yeah do you remember anything or specific i feel like you could really help a lot of people

01:05:53.500 that's what she sent me some and they remember any of it they say um after

01:05:59.740 huh i'll look some up too okay well they're they're looking for a replacement for their mom

01:06:08.240 and they had a bad relationship with her so they're looking to correct it with you

01:06:14.540 but what they're really looking for is a replay of what they had with mom because they can't

01:06:22.080 really they don't really want to fix it or they're incapable of it so they're just reliving it you

01:06:28.540 know that's a lot of ptsd stuff so it's like their their goal in the long run is to make you

01:06:36.540 reject them so they can feel victimized that that's what they're after so they can go i knew you'd leave

01:06:45.460 but after they do so many offensive things to you to push you away to where you'll either react

01:06:56.220 out of your own anger and hurt or you know just move away because they drove you to it

01:07:03.300 but they don't ever think it's their fault and they gaslight everything so you and then go how come

01:07:09.320 you're not um you know it's all your your fault so how come you are rejecting me well

01:07:17.380 you know and they use all your shit against you to gaslight you so that you think it's your fault

01:07:25.120 not them and they never think it's their fault nothing check this out it's so crazy the nine

01:07:31.020 signs you're dating a narcissist charming first impression can you read that or is it too small

01:07:35.060 no it's too small well i'll just tell you guys hogging the conversation oh yeah feeding off

01:07:42.060 compliments it's all stuff you guys were talking about yes um lacking empathy yes no long-term

01:07:47.660 friends uh picking on you gaslighting you and number nine coming in number nine thinking they're right

01:07:58.380 i have most of these oh yeah yeah i got a lot of yeah maybe we're maybe well they say that there's

01:08:05.640 a little bit of a narcissist in people who are with narcissists yeah i mean i think everybody has

01:08:12.260 narcissistic tendencies at some point but it's also gaslighting because it's like yeah you'd see

01:08:17.460 well obviously i have narcissistic tendencies because you know i made myself into this

01:08:23.560 star you do and uh so i'm always thinking about

01:08:28.560 you know my show yeah or my act or something you're on stage in your head yeah which is kind

01:08:37.640 of narcissistic but that's a tendency that's not like a clinical thing but then you know that's kind

01:08:42.300 of an artist too so right i don't know where the line is is how you relate to other people absolutely

01:08:48.440 but i think that i do have empathy for people and you do i do have feeling for people i i've seen

01:08:55.380 you cry it's often that that's used against you it's like well how can we have empathy for everyone

01:09:03.680 but me they say well because they're not treating me like shit you know they don't ever get that part

01:09:12.060 no i you are a tender very loving very giving person and you help so many people and like i remember

01:09:24.920 thinking when i started to get to know you you have this hard outer shell but underneath you're just

01:09:30.960 like this soft loving person who i mean like when i have seen you cry it tears my heart out because

01:09:39.460 you you you put up such a tough persona what she's more of a soft outer shell with the hard

01:09:47.980 no but i'm just saying that you know i was really afraid of the character that i didn't know when i

01:09:59.500 first met her i was very afraid of her and like ball buster oh and then i got to know her and like

01:10:08.600 she's a softy underneath it all she's like anybody else who has a heart and loves and

01:10:16.180 is kind and caring and i think that you are not a narcissist in the way that others that they lack

01:10:27.040 the empathy and the caring and you know how to treat people i think that's true you have maternal

01:10:35.160 empathy you're that you have a soul narcissists do not they're sociopathic sociopathic yes so you're

01:10:42.980 saying you have narcissistic tendencies but you're yes well anyone who is a star well a lot of people

01:10:49.600 i mean i have them i'm not famous like i think everybody has some of it it's when it's it's how

01:10:54.740 you relate to other people when it's affecting your relationships when you're lacking empathy when

01:10:57.840 you're like a fucking sociopath and then it might be a problem but if you yeah you like being the

01:11:02.660 center and manipulative yeah really manipulative to you know manipulate your emotions against you

01:11:10.060 and you don't really see it though because you got yeah pushing your buttons on purpose knowing

01:11:15.380 which ones to press well that's why i think it's good for you guys to talk about like i said your

01:11:18.780 audience is primarily women i look at the numbers and like oh really oh and i'm sure that you know

01:11:23.640 men are with women can be the worst narcissist well it is a you know and you know have you guys seen

01:11:30.100 the golden bachelor yeah i did it's the bachelor but there's 70 he's 71 tell me about yeah oh dude

01:11:37.540 you gotta watch i'm into it because some of there's two of the women that are total g-milfs and that's

01:11:42.080 two more than i expected they're like 70 two of them are gorgeous john goes why do i want to watch

01:11:48.060 a bunch of old bags i go because they're like my age yeah but it's so funny the beginning that he's

01:11:56.400 putting on his suit and his cufflinks and he puts in his hearing aids yeah oh how cute i know and then

01:12:02.700 it's so sad his wife died they were married 43 years and he starts crying she had the bacterial

01:12:10.320 thing that went through her whole body anyway and then like it's seven years later and there's

01:12:16.060 one of them looks like caitlin jenner did you notice that yeah he needs to vote for her off

01:12:21.180 she's got to go i can't even look at her it totally looks like caitlin it actually looks more like

01:12:25.360 caitlin than caitlin if that makes sense i don't know how to describe it thank you no it's so fun

01:12:30.140 and these chicks are it's kind of embarrassing as a woman of our age they're like throwing themselves

01:12:37.240 out they're your age in fact you both would be very very attractive on the show maybe you could be

01:12:43.160 the golden bachelorette oh my god he keeps telling me to go oh dude we need to pitch this golden

01:12:49.840 bachelorette celebrity bachelorette you need to go a bachelorette golden bachelorette in paradise

01:12:55.860 oh mg this is amazing do i have to take my clothes off no it's a tasteful show that's what's good about

01:13:02.360 it no no you have to marry someone oh dude this is okay if anyone at abc oh no it's an abc show

01:13:10.200 okay no it'll be like a hulu have you guys seen naked attraction no what's that no you know what

01:13:18.300 they had a skate fest they had a row a naked roast where i didn't get i couldn't stay up that late but

01:13:26.040 they were taking their clothes off and then roasting each other naked how horrifying bodies

01:13:31.400 yeah is that horrifying it was a big fat guy and he was all excited to get up there he was

01:13:36.920 walking you through and he's like i'm gonna be a naked roast and he looked like me but even fatter

01:13:41.280 no about 50 pounds and he was like i'm going up tonight and mom's like naked and he's like yeah

01:13:46.420 i'm gonna roast me and it's like what the fuck is wrong with this guy that's my biggest nightmare

01:13:50.440 that would be the worst that would be the worst i almost wanted to go on there for a minute i

01:13:55.920 thought if i have another drink or two i'm so glad i got you out of here it's on max formerly

01:14:02.520 i told hannah about it yeah um so it's a british and those guys are freaks yeah they are and like

01:14:10.720 they're all well three of them were uncircumcised and the one guy had an elephant ears and eyes and

01:14:19.420 then the trunk was the uncircumcised trunk you mean tattoo yeah so imagine his dick is uncircumcised

01:14:27.120 with the balls hanging down and then there was big elephant ears tattoo with eyes so it looked like

01:14:32.720 an elephant that's nice show sounds great and so they're so they're in boxes and they show them from

01:14:39.700 here down oh yeah and then she goes so old i saw this years ago and how did it's on now do they pick

01:14:46.900 so they pick like she eliminates it's like down and she's like oh that's too big of a willy i didn't

01:14:54.760 oh my god and then they show their stomach and the one guy that she picked had a fake leg

01:15:00.120 with the elephant tattoo and um then the next girl was bisexual they had three girls and three boys

01:15:07.820 and the girls in england apparently are all shaved like a little baby gross and you know they're all

01:15:16.020 uncircumcised the women too well yeah no it sounds horrifying but then so they're just picking a pair

01:15:25.620 of genitals for their then they show their stomach then they show their face and hear their voice and

01:15:30.480 then they pick who they want to go out with and then they meet on a date fully clothed so they're nude at

01:15:36.680 first and then the person picking has to come out nude too so it's like your dates mine yeah

01:15:43.800 no but i do think you could be the golden celebrity bachelorette i think there's something to it i think

01:15:56.080 this could be well you could go on the golden bachelorette as because it's like it's like 35

01:16:00.260 women compete for one guy but you you you know it would be her with their no it's 20 did you notice

01:16:07.560 there's less girls on the older one because they can't handle as many not just that like there how

01:16:14.240 many attractive 70 year old women are there there's like 17 on the planet what about the chick that

01:16:20.680 prince wrote sexy dancer for yeah that's what she said i don't i don't believe it i didn't believe it

01:16:27.240 when she said there was one though that's there's only one problem with that is that i don't wish to

01:16:32.220 date or meet anyone really no you've had it did we break a major story on your podcast we're kind

01:16:38.720 of talking around it i mean oh that i'm single now no one knows ladies and it's all amicable and

01:16:46.720 friendly we're not yeah it's all friendly yeah and we weren't talking about anyone specific early

01:16:51.060 you've been no we weren't actually tom arnold you were talking about with that one time

01:16:55.780 a lot of relationships yeah um so congrats on being single i say this to everybody whenever i

01:17:03.100 meet someone they're like oh i just got a divorce i'm like congrats dude that's the greatest fucking

01:17:06.740 thing that's ever going to happen to you so if you're out of a relationship i just got to the

01:17:09.980 point being 70 and soon to be 71 the rest of my life i don't know how long i have but

01:17:16.720 i certainly don't want to be you know listening to someone

01:17:21.820 you know i don't i don't listen to the same old same i just want to be on my own to you know

01:17:29.760 have what's left of my life just for me i know but here's my kids and grandkids when i want to

01:17:37.640 let's just say but i want to travel and uh you know i mean i got invited to uh go to some

01:17:44.640 interesting places and i'm fine to go with other old women and uh i just like to be man free

01:17:52.720 i like it in my life yeah you've been with a man pretty much for once in my life i've always been

01:17:59.300 with a partner man you've been single three years since you were 18 i believe total yeah

01:18:04.860 yeah it's time for me to uh yeah it's true it's time for me to just be me and and move on with

01:18:13.780 yourself yeah i want to take care of myself and for whatever amount of time i have left on this

01:18:20.260 planet i want to write i want to write okay and i just want my free time to be free i think that's

01:18:27.720 great okay so it's not any you know it's not like my marriages which were horrible you know

01:18:38.760 but you have five wonderful children no two um and i have grandchildren grandchildren yes i have

01:18:46.980 lovely women friends and uh you know some nice men friends too yeah and i'm never wanting for company

01:18:53.640 you know in fact i the only thing i really i do like being alone it's really weird but i do and

01:19:01.500 especially since i came to hollywood and started that whole career deal i've never had enough alone

01:19:08.380 time i've always had to be working or doing something supporting that work or you know some other kind

01:19:16.480 of thing that you know dog legs into it publicity or interviews or whatever but this is just i just

01:19:24.260 want to go to spas and lay somewhere yeah you know and i thought you're gonna say lay someone

01:19:30.180 no i just want to lay on the beach and uh yeah and you never know guess where we're gonna be next

01:19:36.200 month i mean we're in florida check the tour dates yeah oh yeah i'm really looking forward to that

01:19:42.140 gonna be meeting the man i'm meeting the big man the t-man the big guy oh boy the big big man

01:19:51.260 this is exciting no no not the big guy and the criminal the big no not the big guy no trumpster

01:19:58.300 yeah wow that's exciting so excited that's why i want you to come tomorrow and help me pack okay i've

01:20:04.120 got to get i've got to get my perfect trump meeting outfit you know because i i am gonna go to

01:20:10.300 you need to look like classic official commanding respect like you know it can't you're not gonna

01:20:23.160 dress quirky you're gonna no i'm not gonna be respectful there won't be respectful there won't

01:20:29.000 be any quirk in this one it'll be oh my god drop dead uh look at that i have a picture

01:20:40.020 an actual photo that you can hold of you at tavern on the green with trump on our talk show

01:20:49.720 i took snapshots you know i don't know how come i don't have a copy of that i think i gave it to you

01:20:56.120 you better give me another one because i lost it that's at home and i'll i'll just take a snapshot

01:21:01.640 of it do you think i love that you always have the better photos of my career and life than i do

01:21:08.500 and then sometimes you'll think of it and i oh here's you with sammy davis jr no no no i have you

01:21:14.780 with muhammad ali and i don't yeah what's that uh tony curtis and um what was the little jewish guy

01:21:22.640 that died uh jackie mason jackie mason thank you yeah you remember that no i just know i thought you

01:21:31.100 were there at remember tony curtis i told you all that story yeah we talked about on this very

01:21:36.800 podcast your date with tony curtis and the driving clubs and that's when you admitted that you also

01:21:41.020 had a crush on donald john trump so you might be able to make a move in this florida no he's a

01:21:47.020 married man that doesn't mean shit no i'm not going to i i won't mess with a married man i'll keep

01:21:54.220 or a single man or any kind of man uh but no i would never be so presumptuous as to think that i

01:22:02.180 had a chance with donald john trump when i look at his gorgeous wife well can you imagine hold on

01:22:09.740 just for a second if if something did happen you and donald trump became an item what that would do

01:22:16.400 to this country and just fucking how great that would be like kelsey and taylor swift it would be

01:22:21.440 no way because he has melania she's only the most gorgeous yeah she's gorgeous yeah but he gets

01:22:27.320 bored of that he's been with pretty women like i said that when we're talking about dating he's been

01:22:30.740 with beautiful women he maybe wants to try something new i asked him on the talk show have you ever

01:22:36.220 been with a fat woman remember what did he say he said no he never said well hell you ought to give

01:22:44.460 it a try bud yeah but he wasn't interested okay hypothetically speaking if a like a

01:22:51.380 james broland type started there are no james broland type interest there's only james broland

01:22:58.740 and you must behold him and that's all there is to it she's not ready to ask her in a year let her

01:23:05.200 enjoy yourself yeah yeah yeah okay okay say some more that i might be interested in he would show

01:23:10.660 interest but he was why does he love barbara you know it's that is the perfect thing she's got going

01:23:19.480 for herself there this guy is gorgeous he's you know talented he's successful he's very bright

01:23:29.920 and he was he charming oh yeah did he talk to you at the like yeah he came on my show i remember that

01:23:39.120 and uh he's funny his son is really cute and a good actor too good but uh you know he adores

01:23:49.760 every word that comes out of her mouth i mean he adores fingernail remember her fingernails are like

01:23:58.060 yeah but he you know he's kind of an ideal sort i see you with that like gray haired cowboy

01:24:08.860 type that's what i want for her like a texas oil man howdy miss rosie i'm gonna get her back to

01:24:17.140 texas well out there i i've given up i don't think there's any yeah when you give up is when god

01:24:24.140 that's when it happens and if she's not on the pellet it doesn't matter anyway i don't know what

01:24:28.520 they'll expect of me and uh you know who knows if i could fulfill it you know i probably can't

01:24:34.860 so i probably can't i probably can't you know please any man really because i'm just you don't

01:24:47.080 know what you're capable of no i can't because i just you know i mean it's a 20 year we're all

01:24:53.920 being a little i was thinking about this yesterday we're being a little insensitive because everyone

01:24:56.920 keeps asking her this i mean it's a 20 year relationship it's yeah when are you gonna fuck

01:25:00.860 someone new give her yeah no no no i know but when you get on the pellet eventually and it comes

01:25:07.160 roaring back i hope it's my sex drive i'm terrified that i would receive a sex drive again yeah it's not

01:25:14.660 fun i wish i could get rid of it i was looking we were having some um latino men putting in a screen

01:25:21.720 in porridge on her and i was like clicking i'm like really since you got on the testy testy and i told

01:25:33.320 my i went you know last week and i said i still i'm like cuckoo for cocoa puffs and she said really

01:25:40.560 well you didn't have to come back in and i said i don't know and she goes well you know just wait

01:25:46.360 if it's if it starts to wane but i'm like you're always like that yeah i don't know you any other

01:25:55.460 way well you were always like that except for those few fun years those few fun years no but i mean

01:26:04.200 i mean i guess i'm happy for you that you've found your verve and zest for life her calling

01:26:10.560 in love but i just don't see myself doing i just i don't see myself really ever having sexual

01:26:18.420 relations again in my life what if you met a guy that said i love you i want you to eat all the

01:26:23.860 cuticle meat off my fingers no i don't want to eat anyone else cuticle meat but my own only your own

01:26:30.160 what if he's like i get so turned on i just want to watch you eat the cuticle meat off your fingers

01:26:35.020 and i'll cook you dinner and you can watch bit shoot ew well now this is how you get her into

01:26:40.640 what bit shoot hillary clinton videos the storm is coming i want you to watch q videos and eat your

01:26:49.480 finger and i'll bring you food wait well now that might do it do you think the donald is q still

01:26:55.700 he's q plus because you had that theory yeah no i always said he was q plus

01:27:03.160 now where do you see us in 2024 who me and you or the world the world well me and you will always

01:27:12.100 be hanging out having fun 2024 i see well you have to ask me what the first half or the second half

01:27:20.800 is there a better part of it or no well just give us both we need both i think it's going to

01:27:28.980 continue to be very chaotic and uh this is your prediction okay and uh i think that people really

01:27:41.160 need to pray with other people particularly people outside of their own particular prayer circle okay

01:27:48.640 because um obviously to me i'm going to say this and it's going to make people mad obviously none of

01:27:55.440 our prayers are working yeah i was gonna say that and so i think it's time for something new

01:28:00.860 prayer is not based on hatred and ego and uh prayers with people outside you can honest prayers

01:28:08.300 uh for uh uniting humanity against a cult of death that has us all marked as prey and uh p-r-e-y

01:28:20.600 and i think that as soon as we can do that the better it'll be and the happier we'll be and if we

01:28:28.820 come to that conclusion soon it'll be to our favor and uh there'll be less chaos because you know

01:28:38.860 we need to get on top of our chaos inside ourselves and therefore when we do that therefore it won't

01:28:48.860 occur in the world when people realize that that's what it's really all about this body and this mind

01:28:56.060 this soul yours that's the control panel people don't really understand that yet that's the control panel

01:29:06.260 yeah and if you fix your own circuitry shit won't happen in the world it's shit you don't like

01:29:15.560 about yourself that you're afraid to look at won't occur in the world wow that's deep yeah i think that

01:29:25.280 that's it and i think that that'll probably if we all pray and pray outside of our groups i think

01:29:32.640 we can crush the evil that's trying to rise because the light has to put the dark out

01:29:41.020 well what it really says is it says that

01:29:45.700 darkness needs to see the light darkness needs to perceive that there is light

01:29:55.200 because that's the mind baller darkness doesn't know that light exists but as soon as it is made aware

01:30:03.580 of that fact everything will change that's what i loved about kabbalah is it was all about light and

01:30:11.400 dark there was no good and evil god and devil and it was light and dark yeah but it's also about

01:30:21.520 that being a duality that we've had in in our human brains and consciousness for thousands and

01:30:30.440 thousands of years whereas now we step into the third thing not a duality but the third thing

01:30:38.200 the third thing destroys duality and duality is you know the division of the mind and the consciousness

01:30:48.520 so the third thing is new and it it's uh non-binary it's non-binary i hate that word but that's a good

01:30:59.820 thing the way they use it they don't even get it but it is the word and of course they're trying to

01:31:05.760 real hard to beat it down and co-opt it and make it sexual but it isn't sexual it's

01:31:11.940 being out of the matrix of the duality because that's that is the darkness because everyone has dark

01:31:22.760 and light yeah but when dark beholds light that changes everything because it's like huh there's light

01:31:33.200 here's the darkness it's just empty um bleak nothing and then it sees something goes hey there's something

01:31:46.840 and that changes everything wow that's really cool it is cool this is a cool time it's a real

01:32:00.380 if you have raised awareness it's fucking punk rock to the max from a god level he's like god's like

01:32:10.360 nah nope your shit ain't working going for a new thing and he's showing us and giving us

01:32:18.180 all the apparati that we need to get there but you know we're we're stuck in the gravity of negativity

01:32:27.800 and we can't see it we'd rather cling to death yeah why let me go because we we really really want

01:32:39.000 to pretend that we're finite beings we want to pretend because that's the duality you live and you

01:32:45.120 die well what if you don't you've lived other lives i like when we go out people always go is this

01:32:51.140 your daughter that pisses me off stop no but i feel they always say that or is that your sister i that's

01:33:02.020 that's better shannon goes those people thought i was jewish and i go trust me that's not a good say

01:33:11.280 what i said that's not a compliment

01:33:14.280 okay okay you want to wrap it up yeah i love you so much i love you so i'm so happy to see you i'm

01:33:26.620 so i'm always happy to see you and we have to go eat pizza yay thank you for being my guest i want

01:33:32.580 you to come back and you know demonstrate your makeup techniques because you are a great makeup and

01:33:38.280 you really are i mean you're a pro and you're and i think that you know women can learn a lot from

01:33:44.240 what you can teach we did one already yep and i've been doing a lot of them on older gals who either

01:33:51.220 need to take it back down soften it up or add a little more but don't do too much don't do too little

01:33:59.200 just a little bit you know yeah we'll figure it out yeah okay thank you very much thank you very much

01:34:05.940 i love you so much i love you too okay okay bye

01:34:09.900 their entrance makes the bingo balls rumble in fear the free space is free out of respect for them

01:34:35.340 and their dabs are too fast for the naked eye they're not just grandmas they're grandmasters

01:34:41.900 betty dolly martha queens of delta bingo hollers of the hall and they're here to teach the next

01:34:50.860 generation of players learn what it takes to be a bingo master at grandmasters.ca must be 18 plus play smart

01:34:57.800 all right

01:35:01.880 this weekend

01:35:04.360 is

01:35:10.360 i

The Roseanne Barr Podcast - October 05, 2023

Shannon Hughey ｜ The Roseanne Barr Podcast #017

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