This Past Weekend with Theo Von - 1-15-18 ｜ This Past Weekend #67

00:00:00.000 All right, Chicken Cat, Chicken Cat.

00:00:30.000 It's Monday. Happy Monday.

00:00:38.300 Happy Monday, guys. Happy Monday out there in the world, wherever you are.

00:00:44.940 If you're in a, you know, if you're at, if you're in your, if you're in your car right now or your truck, you know, if you're in a van and, you know, and you secretly got them headphones on, you got a couple of kids in the back that don't need to be listening to, you know, to your wife.

00:01:00.000 Wild Step Cousin Theo right here, because he might, you know, sometimes I, you know, my brain throws an expletive and it uses my face to toss it into the universe.

00:01:09.400 And, and so, yeah, but wherever you are, if you're sitting at home snuggled up with a loved one, dude, that sounds beautiful.

00:01:17.540 There's nothing I wish more than that there's two beautiful or not even beautiful in their own minds.

00:01:22.440 And it doesn't even matter who thinks they're beautiful. 0.91

00:01:24.380 I just hope that there's two thick gay men out there just snuggled up somewhere listening to this, listening to this bad chatter out into the universe. 1.00

00:01:33.640 Because that's something about that makes me, it doesn't make me feel homoerotic, but it just makes me feel like, you know what? 0.98

00:01:42.140 Them big dogs is out there, you know, staying natural and having a good time.

00:01:47.100 And, you know, and we're not, you know, they're not, people, they're not not listening to a guy because, you know, he's maybe different than them.

00:01:56.560 And, and I think about that, but wherever you are, if you're listening to this today, I appreciate you being here with me.

00:02:02.340 Happy Monday, January 15, the year 2017 in, in time, as far as we know.

00:02:12.300 And the game, I have the game on right now and I paused it.

00:02:16.320 I have the Saints versus the Minnesota Vikings and I'm home alone.

00:02:25.340 It got to the point, I was like, I got to do this podcast because I got to drive to Brea and do a show.

00:02:29.040 I got to leave in about an hour and 15 minutes or something.

00:02:32.200 So I'm like, I got to, I can't watch anymore right now.

00:02:35.720 And I was so amped up.

00:02:37.320 I'm like, what's going to happen?

00:02:39.240 Because the, the Vikings made a field goal and then the Saints made a field goal.

00:02:44.040 And so then the Saints were in the lead, but the Vikings were getting the ball back 25 seconds.

00:02:49.200 Not a lot of time, but I was like, I just got to pause it.

00:02:52.400 Because I didn't want, if I knew if I watched and the Saints lost, I would be really upset or bummed out.

00:02:58.400 So I didn't want to have that natural bum, that free bum, you know, bouncing all, you know, inside of my walls. 0.99

00:03:04.560 So here I am and it's paused.

00:03:07.160 I can see in the background, it's just like a picture of the sidelines on the TV screen and it's paused.

00:03:11.640 So I'm going to have to get into that later on.

00:03:14.180 Thank you guys for joining us.

00:03:15.700 I want to thank everybody that came out in Brea this weekend and I want to apologize for anybody that came to the Saturday Night Late Show.

00:03:24.180 Things just got out of hand, you know, like not with me, really just in the audience.

00:03:28.120 There was a lot of people being loud.

00:03:30.960 You know, some people was upped up.

00:03:32.780 You know, some people was snick, you know, snickered up on that dust, you know.

00:03:35.920 And it just, I think it ruined some of the show and the staff.

00:03:42.100 And I love the staff that works there, you know, but they didn't do a good job of holding it down.

00:03:47.320 There was no real mediation of the room.

00:03:49.740 And I just want to apologize to anybody that came out to that Saturday Late Show.

00:03:54.260 And if I'm heading back there in the future and you want to come see a show, hit me up and I'll see if I can help out with some tickets because I feel bad about that.

00:04:02.940 Because you guys didn't get the best show because it was just these, you know, some people were chirping and, you know, I don't know what they were doing.

00:04:10.920 Taking each other's pulses or just being just wild.

00:04:13.280 So, you know, but anyhow, I appreciate if you did come out and I had a nice weekend at Bray, man.

00:04:21.140 A lot of cool people came out.

00:04:22.960 So I was grateful to everybody that came through.

00:04:25.920 What's going on, man?

00:04:27.120 I got this coffee.

00:04:28.060 I got, dude, my buddy sent me this coffee for Christmas.

00:04:31.080 And this isn't an ad.

00:04:33.240 My buddy sent me this coffee for Christmas.

00:04:35.140 It says on there, I just opened it.

00:04:36.480 It says, it's called Cups Coffee and it says Guatemalan single use or something or one year old. 0.99

00:04:47.340 And I'm like, damn, this shit sounds, I just want coffee. 0.99

00:04:52.140 You know what I'm saying? 1.00

00:04:52.600 I don't need to know, you know, I don't need its birth certificate. 1.00

00:04:56.520 I want fucking coffee. 0.99

00:04:58.340 I want to not have to go buy cocaine. 1.00

00:05:00.960 So I want to just use something natural.

00:05:02.980 I want coffee. 0.99

00:05:03.680 This shit got me making, making me feel like I'm involved in sex, you know, sex trafficking or something. 1.00

00:05:08.880 This just says Guatemalan, you know, 72 months or something on it. 1.00

00:05:13.060 I'm like, what the hell, man?

00:05:14.440 So now I'm drinking coffee and I'm a little bit nervous and I just don't want to get caught up in some kind of, you know, who knows?

00:05:20.420 In the future, maybe they'll bust a man, you know, he used to drink coffee that was only three years old.

00:05:26.380 You know, no man should be drinking coffee that hasn't been aged where the beans haven't been aged at least 18 years.

00:05:33.680 And who knows what's next?

00:05:36.120 They're taking men out of the universe. 0.71

00:05:38.700 They're trying to take us out of the universe sometimes.

00:05:41.980 And I know it's not an intention.

00:05:43.560 I think a lot of this, you know, there's a there's a strong female movement out there. 0.99

00:05:47.940 You know, it's like the whole world.

00:05:49.760 It's like it's like Mother Nature herself is about to just, you know, drop an egg, you know, like she's just on that stration.

00:05:56.720 And she's about to just drop an egg, you know, and I don't even know where that egg would just pop out of the earth, I guess, just come rolling out of a dam, maybe out of the San Andreas fault.

00:06:05.800 You know, that egg might end up out there in, you know, in South Riverside or out towards Anaheim.

00:06:12.280 Who knows, you know, but I feel like Mother Nature's just she's on that, you know, she's on them tumbles.

00:06:17.920 She's got them belly tumbles and she wants pickles and chocolate because she's having, you know, she's going through some things. 0.90

00:06:25.020 And sometimes it has to happen for things to even out, you know, but damn, they're taking every everybody's getting everybody's getting called out for being wild and for being too much.

00:06:35.220 Aziz Ansari just got, you know, there was a thing on the Internet today.

00:06:38.960 And, you know, the thing is, when you first time I read something now, the first thing I think is, is this true?

00:06:46.120 Who's citing these sources?

00:06:47.560 Are there any real sources?

00:06:49.780 You know, the website or the thing was called babe.net or something was the company that was saying this.

00:06:55.960 I never heard of them.

00:06:57.580 I never heard of them in my life.

00:06:59.380 So, but the allegations that were out there were just that he was on a date with a girl.

00:07:03.380 He invited her over, you know, he was trying to be nasty and be naughty with her or he's trying to be.

00:07:08.680 I mean, it seemed like he was being aggressive from this girl's take, you know, and I'm not discounting what she said.

00:07:16.300 I have no clue.

00:07:17.440 You know, there hasn't been any like there hasn't been, you know, there's no trial or anything here.

00:07:22.780 It doesn't seem like.

00:07:25.140 So that's the strange thing.

00:07:26.560 Like, I don't know.

00:07:27.140 Is he being accused of a crime?

00:07:29.120 If that's the case, do you take it to authorities?

00:07:32.700 Are you just making it aware and using his name?

00:07:36.060 Um, so I guess some of the movement, the Me Too, if it's part of the Me Too movement is a bit or Time's Up.

00:07:43.060 I think they changed it now to Time's Up, um, is a little confusing to me in that regard because I don't know what's, you know, like, is it just awareness?

00:07:52.680 You're using somebody's name.

00:07:53.860 Do they get to say what they thought happened that evening?

00:07:56.360 And I guess he will if he wants to, if he wants to, you know, rebuttal it.

00:08:00.680 Um, but it's also, you know, people's perspective of people's perspectives of what's going on when something's going on can be different.

00:08:10.080 You know, they can be different, you know, and, uh, we didn't all come from the same history or the same experiences, you know? 0.97

00:08:17.860 Like, what if a man has only had one girlfriend and she's real rowdy, you know, and she likes the man to fucking, you know, put jingle bells in her ears and, you know, beat her on the back with a fucking, you know, semi-hard billy club or, you know, uh, put, um, you know, put egg yolks on her legs and dip them in damn, uh, you know, Planko, Planko, uh, toast chips and fuck or something like that. 0.99

00:08:46.940 Who knows? 0.99

00:08:48.140 And then you show up at a girl's, you know, then you show up on a date and you got a sack of straight up, you know, um, toast crumbs and a deep fryer and a couple of jingle bells, a couple of JVs and you're ready to rock out.

00:09:02.240 You know, it's like, uh, it's just people's perspectives going into, you know, their history has so much to do with it, but maybe she was just scared and, and, and that's all that matters.

00:09:13.120 And that's why this is coming out because, you know, if a woman is, if, if you are, you know, that men need to have a look at what is aggressive behavior or what could be aggressive behavior.

00:09:30.760 You know, and maybe that's, I mean, there's certainly, you know, if I'm going to spend my time, you know, reading it and thinking about it, I'm going to try to have some takeaway from it.

00:09:41.240 You know, you think about a young girl being in a place with a guy who's older, more experienced, you know, and, and if, you know, if I, you know, I can't exactly put myself in that situation, but I can try.

00:09:53.720 You know, maybe it's just a, it's an overall mindset that some guys have going in into hookup scenarios with chicks and it's, and it's supposed to make us, and that's what this is.

00:10:07.400 She's just trying to make us think, and that's all she was trying to do.

00:10:10.740 Maybe, you know, not all she's trying to do.

00:10:13.020 She's trying to obviously get this off of her chest and, you know, but if you look at the conversation between them over text message, it, it looked like she was just trying to make him aware.

00:10:23.720 You know, or make him aware of, of what maybe seems comfortable and normal to him is not comfortable and normal to her or comfortable.

00:10:36.900 Maybe normal isn't even it.

00:10:38.480 I mean, I'm just, you know, spinning my wheels here, but I guess, you know, we got to think, you know, as men, because one, we don't want to, you know, we, you don't want to harm someone.

00:10:52.660 You don't want to hurt somebody, you know, but two, you also want to, you know, you don't want to not try and express yourself sexually.

00:11:06.660 Especially if you think you're in a, in an environment where you can do that because, you know, over that can, you know, that can be tough on your psyche too, to, you know, to feel incapable of sexual expression or unallowed to have sexual expression.

00:11:25.840 You know, and I'm not saying what he did was sexual expression, but, you know, obviously to him, it was, but to her, it wasn't, you know, I mean, maybe my, you know, it makes me wonder if maybe my attitudes might be part of the problem.

00:11:44.680 You know, it has to make me ask myself that.

00:11:48.440 So there's definitely value right there in making me think, but it's wild.

00:11:55.060 I mean, here, this guy wakes up and, and, and, you know, maybe, maybe he does this kind of stuff all the time and maybe he's, you know, a nasty cat.

00:12:02.540 And maybe he, this is something that, you know, that needs to come out to help him get better.

00:12:09.180 And maybe that's the way it's being done now is just on a public scale.

00:12:13.100 I mean, I'm like the future of men.

00:12:14.600 What do you have?

00:12:15.020 I mean, maybe in the future, it's you sign an agreement.

00:12:17.520 These are the things I like.

00:12:18.560 These are the things I don't.

00:12:20.500 I mean, we're becoming so, you know, you, you, you chime into an app.

00:12:23.520 I'm into these six or seven different ideas and someone has to agree to them.

00:12:26.820 And, ah, it's wild.

00:12:29.260 It's just, it's a different, you know, there's just a lot going on.

00:12:32.180 There's a lot going on, a lot of factors going on, but I don't know who won the game yet.

00:12:36.740 I do not know who won the game.

00:12:39.520 I do not know who won the game.

00:12:41.260 We got some good calls that came in, man, and I'm not jumping to those just yet, but we have, we have an interview.

00:12:45.960 I got to, I have to do a call out to a lovely young lady here in just a second. 1.00

00:12:49.660 Who's going to be on the hotline because we brought up, well, first I got a call in.

00:12:55.800 Oh, I'm all over the episode, man.

00:12:57.400 This, this, uh, this Guatemalan six-year-old has got me chirping out here, man. 1.00

00:13:05.380 We had a call over the weekend that came in about Hawaii, and this was, uh, from Josh in Hawaii.

00:13:10.140 Here we go.

00:13:11.240 Yo, Theo.

00:13:12.440 This is Josh calling in from the island of Hawaii.

00:13:15.540 And, yeah, I'm just calling you, uh, after a little post-nuclear apocalyptic scare that we had this morning, I woke up to an amber alert saying there was an inbound ballistic missile headed to the island of Hawaii.

00:13:31.820 Rise and shine, boy.

00:13:33.860 Onward.

00:13:34.300 And I basically woke up into a scarier reality than the nightmare I was having.

00:13:42.140 And, uh, there was about 30 minutes where, yeah, that was, that was a real, that was a real reality, man.

00:13:49.020 Wow. 0.96

00:13:49.140 Yeah, I was just constantly updating my Twitter, trying to figure out what the fuck's going on. 0.86

00:13:54.200 Nobody's saying this is a false alarm.

00:13:57.780 And I'm walking around outside, just looking at my neighbors, trying to figure out if we're about to be bombed by, uh, Kim, Kim Song Joon, whatever, whatever that dude's name is over there. 0.75

00:14:10.520 Anyways.

00:14:11.480 Kim Jong Il, baby.

00:14:13.260 And I'm gonna say this, you might want to get that man's name under your tongue, you know?

00:14:17.600 Just because if he shows up, that's probably the first question he's gonna ask us when he takes over.

00:14:21.860 What's my name? 0.99

00:14:23.080 What's my motherfucking name? 0.99

00:14:25.260 And if you do, most people are not gonna know it. 1.00

00:14:28.140 Song Young Lamb, boy, you're out. 0.84

00:14:30.440 They're gonna chop you down right there. 0.98

00:14:32.620 Chip Chopity Chop?

00:14:33.740 Somebody's gonna say that, dude.

00:14:35.560 Somebody's gonna say your name is Chip Chop Lamb.

00:14:39.680 Young Lamb.

00:14:40.480 Somebody's gonna, General So.

00:14:42.600 People are gonna have the worst ideas, and they're gonna take you, they're gonna take you out.

00:14:47.300 So I think his name's Kim Jong Ung or Kim Jong Il.

00:14:49.960 The problem is they keep killing these Kim Jongs. 0.96

00:14:52.540 You know, little Kim Jong grows up, kills big Kim Jong, so he can be the BKJ. 0.98

00:14:58.480 And then another little, a little Kim Jong grows up and kills another BKJ, and it just keeps going. 0.94

00:15:03.500 Kim Jong Il, on, and, on, uno, dos, tres.

00:15:07.360 That'd be cool, dude.

00:15:08.140 What if it was Kim Jong Ocho? 0.53

00:15:11.400 That'd be dope. 0.98

00:15:12.460 And he came out with a little bit of a Latino flair, you know?

00:15:15.080 Kind of, like he, you know, like he just showed up on Monday Night Raw one night and was like, Kim Jong Ocho.

00:15:22.240 But I can't imagine that, dude.

00:15:23.480 But I, you know, there was a, there was a, imagine, now, that moment where you're telling me for 30 minutes, you thought this was a reality.

00:15:32.560 That they're ballistic middle.

00:15:34.340 First of all, I'd have to Google ballistic.

00:15:36.680 So that, I'm going to start right there.

00:15:40.080 Like, are these fun, like, what kind of missiles are these?

00:15:43.020 Like, who's, like, do I just not have to be within 20 feet of where it lands?

00:15:46.880 Like, what am I up against?

00:15:48.800 But can you imagine that for 30 minutes?

00:15:52.140 You know, I mean, I wonder how many Me Too occurrences happen just during that 30 minutes.

00:15:58.620 Because if I'm somewhere and they say you got 30 minutes left, the countdown is here, dude, you can, I'll tell you this.

00:16:09.580 I'm going to probably tell you, I'm going to throw down about 300 milligrams of Cialis and finally start talking to the women I've been afraid to talk to most of my life.

00:16:18.820 That's exactly what I'm going to do.

00:16:21.540 You know, I might have to take a dude down with long hair if he uses good conditioner and I never see his face and I walk up to him from behind.

00:16:28.620 And just say, hey, you know, ma'am, are you into wild stuff?

00:16:34.560 And do it like, you know, like I would never want to see the front of him.

00:16:38.140 But, um, but yeah, dude, I mean, that's 30 minute countdown.

00:16:41.400 I'd love to know what you did in that time.

00:16:43.740 Well, here's the thing.

00:16:44.300 You had to be, the first thing you probably did was look on, look more.

00:16:47.220 Is this real?

00:16:49.140 But if nobody knows if it's real, and I think Hawaii didn't even make the announcement until later in the day to say it was an accident.

00:16:54.940 Or I'm guessing it took 30 minutes.

00:16:57.900 You just said that.

00:16:59.360 Man, 30 minutes?

00:17:00.240 Right now, somebody says, you got 30 minutes.

00:17:01.500 What would you do?

00:17:06.060 I'd probably drive over to somebody that I love. 0.99

00:17:08.060 I would, honestly, it would be, it would be a girl and I would try to, I would probably try to have sex. 0.99

00:17:12.700 I'd talk to my family. 0.99

00:17:14.560 You know what? 1.00

00:17:15.260 I would have my family on speakerphone, talking to them, and then quietly trying to have sex with a girl who also wanted to have sex with me. 0.99

00:17:24.060 So I'd be trying to fuck quietly so that my family didn't know that was going on, you know, and so me and the girl could both enjoy each other's company. 0.99

00:17:31.600 But at the same time, trying to get my love, I love you's in, you know? 0.99

00:17:36.440 She's like, did you just come on my back?

00:17:38.220 I'm like, uh, no, that's tears.

00:17:39.820 Those are tears.

00:17:40.360 I'm talking to my family.

00:17:41.120 This is a really sad 20 minutes right there.

00:17:43.480 Uh, this is a really sad time we're going through because the world is ending.

00:17:46.980 Sorry, that's a little vulgar, man.

00:17:48.380 I don't usually get that vulgar, but that just, I think it's this coffee, man.

00:17:52.360 And it's the game.

00:17:53.260 It's the excitement.

00:17:54.360 And also, I think, man, you know, like, um, and I appreciate that call, Josh.

00:17:59.820 And if there are things going on in the world and you are a live reporter on the scene of something, it can be a, it could be anything.

00:18:06.420 It could be a drug deal.

00:18:07.920 It could be a, um, you know, post coitus with you and your mate.

00:18:12.580 It could be, you know, you just shot an animal. 0.96

00:18:15.800 Your buddy just shot.

00:18:16.600 And if there's something going on that, or, or, you know, if there's an earthquake or there's that, the bullet, the Hawaiian missile practice, whatever's going on, you know, and you are a live reporter on the scene, hit that hotline, drop us that information.

00:18:29.900 And we can play it, because that was nice to have Josh call in and let us know what's happening out there in Hawaii.

00:18:35.300 We had a great call that came in on last week's episode, and this was it right here.

00:18:39.520 I'm going to play it, and then we're going to, uh, we're going to call, uh, a lovely young lady who's going to be able to fill us in on some information. 0.97

00:18:47.160 Here we go.

00:18:48.020 Let's hear it. 0.82

00:18:48.600 Hey, Theo, this is JP from down in Alabama, and I was calling you about, uh, dead porn stars, man.

00:18:58.040 Had two of the greats pass away, uh, in late 2017.

00:19:03.180 Well, now they've left behind all this material, and, uh, I feel like a lot of people that are, you know, scrolling through these porn sites and stuff, they may not know these girls are dead. 0.87

00:19:13.760 But what are your thoughts on, uh, people jerking it to dead porn stars? 1.00

00:19:18.840 Man, and, you know, and some people would listen to this question, like, oh, that's stupid. 1.00

00:19:22.360 Who cares? 1.00

00:19:22.920 That's stupid. 1.00

00:19:23.460 It's about pornography. 1.00

00:19:24.580 And I, and I know this show, you know, this episode, we've had a little bit of smut chatter. 0.92

00:19:28.300 You know, we've been talking about things that are a bit smut-ish.

00:19:30.500 And I'm not, I'm not, this isn't, this show isn't devolving into something smut-ish.

00:19:35.060 But, but this was a good question.

00:19:38.160 This is a good question.

00:19:40.600 And, uh, and I don't really think that I, you know, I'm going to give you my two cents.

00:19:43.600 In a minute.

00:19:44.660 Uh, but first I'm going to call, um, I've got a lovely young lady here. 0.99

00:19:48.740 Her name is Zoe Monroe.

00:19:50.380 You can check her out. 0.99

00:19:51.300 She's a, uh, pornographic star, pornographic, pornographic actress. 1.00

00:19:55.140 And she's in, uh, you know, and it's tempting here because she isn't, you know, she is, um,

00:20:00.340 she's out there dancing, you know, in the, in the dark arts.

00:20:03.100 And she's a real professional.

00:20:04.660 And she is, uh, I mean, she's good at what she does. 0.94

00:20:07.960 I've fell victim to it many times, um, you, with, on my home computer.

00:20:12.340 And I'm going to give her a call right now.

00:20:14.880 And, uh, and see what she thinks about this very topic.

00:20:32.200 Hello, hello.

00:20:33.680 Zoe Monroe.

00:20:35.580 What's up?

00:20:36.680 I'm doing good.

00:20:37.340 How are you?

00:20:39.400 I'm good.

00:20:40.100 Taking bong rips on a hammock.

00:20:42.160 Oh, you're taking bong rips on a hammock, huh?

00:20:45.740 Yep.

00:20:46.460 You ever try to do a bunch of cocaine and just stay in a hammock?

00:20:50.800 You know, I don't think I have.

00:20:53.560 Well, it's hard to do.

00:20:54.580 I think it's probably easier to stay in a hammock on, uh, on pot.

00:20:58.520 Yeah, it sounds like it.

00:21:00.060 Yeah.

00:21:00.360 Um, cause cocaine will make you want to get out of a hammock, you know?

00:21:03.560 At one point I felt like I was just trapped in somebody's net, you know?

00:21:08.920 Um, but we had a great call that came in on our podcast this week.

00:21:11.880 And, uh, I've, you know, I'm a fan of your work.

00:21:14.540 I'm a fan of you personally.

00:21:15.440 I think you're a real sweetheart.

00:21:17.180 Um,

00:21:17.500 Oh, thank you, Theo.

00:21:18.740 Yeah.

00:21:19.240 You, uh, anytime I've been around, you always make me laugh.

00:21:21.340 I know you're, uh, you know, you're a big pet owner.

00:21:23.420 You got a big heart.

00:21:24.920 Um,

00:21:25.740 and you have a nice, you know, um, body and everything that I've seen on the, uh, on the internet.

00:21:31.360 And so, yeah.

00:21:33.740 Uh, yeah.

00:21:34.460 I have, I was just telling, just saying on, on the podcast that I've, I've definitely fallen victim to some of your work over the years.

00:21:40.840 Um, so.

00:21:42.400 That's what I like to hear.

00:21:43.240 Yeah.

00:21:44.320 Uh, thank you very much.

00:21:45.560 But we had a caller that called in and he said, his question was, is, you know, last year you guys lost some, uh, some popular pornographic actors and actresses, I think.

00:21:56.620 But in the, in your industry, is it okay?

00:22:01.280 Or what are your thoughts on Matt on people masturbating and not knowing if these, um, these actors and actresses are dead?

00:22:10.640 Um, well, I mean, we are, we do what we do to be fantasies.

00:22:16.380 And, uh, like comedians do what they do.

00:22:19.180 You want to make people laugh and you want to have fun. 0.84

00:22:21.640 Well, we want to fulfill everybody's fantasies while fulfilling our fantasies and having a lot of sex and fun while we do it.

00:22:29.700 So, why not have these stars live on through our fantasies?

00:22:35.100 As long as you're paying for it.

00:22:37.100 Right.

00:22:37.900 Okay.

00:22:38.360 So, that's the biggest thing.

00:22:39.280 As long as you're paying for it.

00:22:41.420 Do you think there should be a, you know, all the tube sites are ruining the business.

00:22:46.480 And if people still want the amount of porno that we all make for y'all to keep coming out, some people got to be buying it because who's going to pay us?

00:22:57.460 Right.

00:22:57.860 That's a good point.

00:22:58.540 So, are there sites that you recommend if people want to actually support the business that they go to?

00:23:04.200 Yes, I recommend Elegant Angel.

00:23:07.040 They just released two squirting showcases of mine.

00:23:10.960 So, naturally, I'm going to say them first.

00:23:13.260 Oh, wow.

00:23:14.060 Evil Angel is a good one.

00:23:15.700 There's a lot of different Angel ones we got.

00:23:18.360 A little bit of crotch archery, huh?

00:23:20.880 Yeah. 0.63

00:23:21.280 Now, I, so, but now do you think there should be a special section on these sites where, you know, it should say that these are deceased, if this is where you want to come to see deceased pornographic actresses?

00:23:36.220 I thought maybe it would be interesting if they had like an in-memoriam at the end of a, you know, say you're watching some porn, at the end, there's like, you know, do you think that would turn people off?

00:23:45.520 Like, you're, you know, spraying out, next thing you know, you know, it's like, you know, Judy, you know, was, you know, left the earth in 2015.

00:23:55.500 I wonder if that would like, that could kill some people's buzz.

00:23:59.460 You know, I can see.

00:24:00.640 Yeah, I can see how that would, you know, interfere with your little after-cum euphoria there.

00:24:08.280 Yeah.

00:24:09.560 So, you know, I don't really know what the best way to have people find out if your favorite porn stars pass away or not.

00:24:15.520 That's a good question.

00:24:16.900 I don't know if that's a good idea or not to have that.

00:24:19.800 Do you, if you pass away, and I hope you never do, I want to tell you that.

00:24:25.600 Oh, thank you so much.

00:24:26.380 Yeah.

00:24:26.860 I mean, I just hope the world just gets to see your skin and your, you know, breasts and, you know, anus and legs and everything for decades to come. 1.00

00:24:35.960 Oh, yeah. 0.94

00:24:36.560 Oh, yeah.

00:24:36.940 Me too.

00:24:37.520 Okay.

00:24:37.940 Yeah, good, good. 0.99

00:24:39.340 And, but if you ever do, do you want men to still be jerking off to your material? 0.98

00:24:45.520 I mean, that is why I do it. 0.98

00:24:48.680 Yeah.

00:24:50.720 Do you think there should be a clause maybe that, that, that, that, uh, that people who work in porn put into their, like, like, you know, with a driver's license, you have to get a thing that says, like, yeah, I'm willing to donate my organs if I die, you know?

00:25:03.320 Mm-hmm.

00:25:03.760 Do you think they should have something like that for you guys?

00:25:05.540 Maybe where it's like, oh, well, yeah, if, you know, if I die, I'm okay with people still. 0.96

00:25:09.440 I mean, though, the purpose of that would really only be for the fans because the companies honestly don't give a shit. 0.93

00:25:17.360 If they're still making money on it, they're still going to make money on it. 0.95

00:25:20.080 Right.

00:25:20.660 Either way.

00:25:21.760 So, final say, what would you say to this guy then?

00:25:23.920 We had a guy who called in. 1.00

00:25:24.880 He said, is it okay to be jerking off to dead people if, if I don't, is it okay to be jerking off to dead porn stars? 1.00

00:25:33.840 I think, yes, because they, they made all of that content for you to jerk off to. 1.00

00:25:41.840 Yeah. 0.89

00:25:42.180 I don't see why them being here or not being here would have anything to do with it, but I can't see how that is a very good question.

00:25:49.860 Yeah.

00:25:50.700 Yeah, it certainly made me think.

00:25:52.140 Well, I appreciate you taking some time to talk to us.

00:25:54.900 You guys can follow Zoe Monroe on her Instagram at MissMSZoeMonroe, M-O-N-R-O-E. 0.96

00:26:03.840 But beware, if you go to her Instagram, dude, you're probably going to end up taking a 15-minute break from work.

00:26:10.780 So, one leads to the other, you know.

00:26:13.900 So, I try to stay off your Instagram sometimes because, you know, I just can't really control myself, you know.

00:26:22.120 So, I just have issues when it comes to self-control.

00:26:26.940 Hey, we all do.

00:26:29.100 Yeah, yeah, that's true.

00:26:30.100 I guess we all do.

00:26:31.340 Well, I appreciate you discussing.

00:26:32.480 Longer City.

00:26:33.840 I appreciate you discussing this with us.

00:26:38.400 And thanks, Zoe.

00:26:39.640 And you'll have to come on the podcast sometime.

00:26:41.620 We'd love to have you.

00:26:43.520 Yeah, I'd love to.

00:26:44.440 Thanks for having me today.

00:26:45.860 You bet.

00:26:46.380 Have a good evening.

00:26:46.940 Good luck with the hammock and the bong.

00:26:49.100 Oh, yeah.

00:26:50.120 All right.

00:26:50.420 Talk to you later.

00:26:51.080 All right, bye.

00:26:54.080 So, there you go.

00:26:55.860 She says, you know, that's what the material is made for.

00:26:58.260 It's made to be out there. 0.95

00:26:59.240 It's made for people to, you know, get that jerk up and get that seed up. 1.00

00:27:02.640 Now, I feel like there should be a thing at the end. 0.98

00:27:07.440 You know, it's like, you know, would that be a turnoff, though? 0.99

00:27:12.060 You know, you're, you know, you're squeezing and pleasing yourself, you know, and just treating your wiener like a damn fucking near empty tube of toothpaste. 0.98

00:27:20.960 And you're trying to get that last, you know, that last pop. 0.99

00:27:24.480 Because that's the thing. 0.97

00:27:25.460 When I'm masturbating, it's like, at this point, it's, when I was young, it would just be like, you know, just get that thing to fire and just watch that thing fire. 0.87

00:27:35.820 You know, part of me, and I always have thought I'd be good at archery, because part of me, the best thing about masturbation was that pop. 0.59

00:27:40.960 Not even the feeling I would get, but just the joy of seeing that distance, you know, seeing that hit, you know, seeing that trebuchet, you know, how far that boulder is going to go. 0.86

00:27:52.120 Is it going to, you know, what, you know, just seeing what kind of, you know, you're like, dang, that's going on inside of my body.

00:27:58.440 I got that electricity coming out of my body. 0.99

00:28:01.180 You know, I got that, you know, that's Satan's neutrons, and they're flying out of your freaking body and out of your nuts. 0.99

00:28:07.600 And that was exciting to me. 0.98

00:28:11.000 But then I do notice that as I get over time, I just want to get as much joy as I can before I, you know, end up, you know, spraying out.

00:28:21.220 I try to get as much, like, build up of sheer joy before I end up, you know, catching that pop.

00:28:29.180 So it's kind of evolved a little bit as to what masturbation is for me.

00:28:33.420 But I'll say this, though, I think that you should, now, as viewers, maybe we watch and do a little bit of, you know, maybe you do something before.

00:28:47.700 You light a candle.

00:28:49.060 You know, I got a candle lit right here, even just for this conversation, because I knew we was definitely going to be delving into the darks, into the dark arts. 1.00

00:28:56.200 And so you light that candle, you know, or maybe you do put some oranges out like they do in India.

00:29:03.040 Sometimes they have a little picture of, you know, Ganesh, the elephant, and a couple of oranges or little potpourris or something. 0.75

00:29:09.040 You know, you light up a couple of candles or throw some sage around the room if you know whoever you're going to masturbate to is deceased.

00:29:15.400 You know, maybe you take it on that yourself as a person to have a little bit of, because I think it's, I personally do think it's a little bit wild to be cracking on, you know, some deceased footage of somebody.

00:29:29.600 Maybe, I guess, it's a good question, because here I am changing my mind mid-sentence.

00:29:35.960 It's a good question, but I feel like, for me, I would feel better, and I try to stay away from pornography, but for me, I would feel better if I didn't do it, if I did not do that, if I did not watch it at all.

00:29:48.680 But I would then feel better if there was an in memoriam at the end, you know, you're, you know, you're, you know, you're stacking skeet inside of your body and stacking and stacking and stacking and stacking and you're watching. 0.98

00:30:03.340 And then, you know, at the end it says, you know, you know, Molly Titbutt or whatever her name was, you know, whatever the girl's name was, Molly Butt, you know, tits and butt ass or whatever. 0.99

00:30:18.680 You know, something sexier than that, obviously. 0.99

00:30:21.000 Lopez, make her fancy, you know. 1.00

00:30:24.140 She was, you know, alive from, you know, 2000 to 2019.

00:30:32.080 And you'd be like, whoa.

00:30:34.260 I think it would make it more real.

00:30:35.880 I think things like that would make it more real.

00:30:38.240 And maybe you throw in a couple of other stats.

00:30:40.760 You know, she liked to, you know, she liked to the Fast and the Furious series. 0.98

00:30:45.520 And she had a couple of bad tattoos that she was saving up money to get removed. 1.00

00:30:48.520 Or something like that.

00:30:49.200 Something that makes her a little bit more personal.

00:30:51.280 That could be interesting.

00:30:52.440 But then, like Zoe said, a lot of that is fantasy.

00:30:56.760 A lot of that is, you know, you want the fantasy.

00:30:58.780 So, if they had, you know, if a headstone, you know, if you had a headstone section of pornography, would that kill the fantasy?

00:31:06.420 And I could see also how it very well could.

00:31:08.380 But, so, yeah, I think if you light some candles or do some special stuff, maybe, you know, get out one of those, you know, a lot of times in some of the churches, they'll have these little, the man, the preacher will go, the priest will go up and down the aisles with this wand full of holy water.

00:31:23.820 And, you know, he's just, you know, he's just basically doing that, just skeeting out of his own wand, you know, but it's water.

00:31:31.980 You know, it's spirit skeet, basically.

00:31:33.780 It's holy water.

00:31:34.440 And he's throwing that on people to get everybody hyped up about the, you know, about, about, about the, you know, about the Lord feeling good for everyone.

00:31:45.120 He's getting everybody hyped up.

00:31:46.620 But if you did that, maybe you're something around your house.

00:31:49.080 You throw some sage or you do something spectacular before you endelve into it.

00:31:54.240 You know, so you got a little bit of the protection of something good in your heart before you're out there jerking off to the deceased. 0.99

00:32:00.300 Because anyway, you look at it in the end, you are jerking off to the deceased. 0.98

00:32:04.440 So, that's one way to see it. 0.91

00:32:09.400 Here's some other ways to see it.

00:32:10.420 You guys had some calls that came in.

00:32:11.940 Here we go.

00:32:13.260 Hey, man, this is Brandon calling from San Diego.

00:32:15.780 I actually just saw your show at the Bray Improv.

00:32:18.860 Anyway, I'm calling in regards to...

00:32:20.420 Oh, well, I appreciate that.

00:32:21.800 You notice he didn't say that it was good?

00:32:23.240 I think he might have been at the Saturday Night Late Show.

00:32:25.380 Thank you for coming out, Brandon, though.

00:32:26.780 I do appreciate you, man.

00:32:28.060 Onward. 0.99

00:32:28.540 Yeah, the gentleman that called in the last podcast asking if it was right to be jerking it to deceased porn stars. 0.97

00:32:35.000 You know, there's two ways to look at this, I think. 0.98

00:32:37.240 The one way is like, you know, you're thinking, man, this girl's dead in the ground. 0.99

00:32:41.900 Like, this is her ghost fucking this dude. 0.99

00:32:44.480 Like, can I even get hard to this? 0.99

00:32:46.640 And if I can, like, does it even shine up to this?

00:32:49.180 Like, does this feel right?

00:32:50.000 Now, that's a good point.

00:32:51.900 There's two moments there.

00:32:53.100 Should I get hard to this?

00:32:55.500 Because getting hard to something, that's pretty, that's one thing.

00:32:59.400 But catching that bust, that's another thing.

00:33:02.980 You know? 1.00

00:33:05.580 Freaking letting out that, you know, that fucking, that, you know, just letting that fucking, that nut goose fly out of your wand. 1.00

00:33:16.640 That's something. 1.00

00:33:17.480 That's, that's another thing.

00:33:18.900 That's two different things.

00:33:20.200 So I'm glad you're saying this, Onward.

00:33:21.700 And, you know, I get that.

00:33:23.340 You can get creeped out going down that, that path.

00:33:26.520 But there's another way to look at it, too.

00:33:28.300 And that's the, you know, these girls, this was their, their passion.

00:33:32.000 This was their career.

00:33:33.020 This was, a lot of them loved what they did, you know.

00:33:35.240 And it, it was an art to them.

00:33:37.020 I just think about, like, when Michael Jackson died, man, like, the radios were blowing his songs up for weeks afterwards, you know.

00:33:44.280 And, you know, people still listen to his music now.

00:33:46.660 It's, I think that you can still have that connection with even a porn star, too.

00:33:50.500 It's just another medium of entertainment, isn't it?

00:33:52.740 Go ahead.

00:33:54.120 Yeah, that's a good point.

00:33:55.440 I mean, it could be like the Mona Lisa.

00:33:59.060 People still go see that.

00:34:01.080 I mean, early pornography, when you think about it, is in all these books.

00:34:04.360 And the Rodin and all those, like, all these famous old painters.

00:34:09.020 These, you know, Peter Paul Rubens, I think the man's name was.

00:34:11.820 They would paint all these women. 0.96

00:34:14.680 And they would put them in these, you know, it's usually kind of Rubenes, sort of, you know, healthy, regular.

00:34:20.500 And they would put them in these magazines.

00:34:23.320 A lot of times they'd be laying in the woods or have, like, an apple near them or a couple of pieces of fruit or some, usually fruits or something like that.

00:34:30.920 Or maybe, sometimes there'd be a fox, I feel like, in the back.

00:34:33.620 Like a little, like a fox or maybe a little animal.

00:34:37.080 But usually it was like them just laying there, you know, long, pretty hair.

00:34:40.560 And that was early pornography.

00:34:43.100 You know, that was it.

00:34:43.800 And that is now considered collector's art.

00:34:47.780 I mean, some of those paintings are worth, it's a baffling amount of money.

00:34:52.760 But, I mean, look, pornography is so popular you would not believe it.

00:34:59.460 Pornography had, the first videos you could watch online were pornography.

00:35:06.200 Think about that.

00:35:07.120 Now everything's video.

00:35:09.040 The first ones you could watch online were pornography.

00:35:13.580 Pornography has led the explosion and the dissemination.

00:35:20.800 I don't think that's what the word is. 0.96

00:35:22.280 But it's led, like, after the Bible was printed, you know, once the Bible was printed, after that, pictures of freaking ladies started milling around. 1.00

00:35:32.200 You know, they'd have dudes walking three, you know, three nights out into the desert to dig up a picture of old, you know, the original camel toe that they had hid out there to jerk off. 0.99

00:35:45.640 And that was, and that's what was going on.

00:35:48.480 You know, when, when the internet started and people were, one of the first, the biggest catalogs of collected images, one of the first, the first and biggest was pornography. 0.95

00:36:02.200 People looking to jerk off.

00:36:03.900 People want to look at the Constitution, make sure it was real, basically, just Xeroxes of it or whatever they could see online. 0.98

00:36:09.100 And then there was huge catalogs of pornography.

00:36:11.680 When the Berlin Wall fell, here's a fact for you.

00:36:14.280 When the Berlin Wall fell, a lot of pornography could get out of there.

00:36:18.940 People needed money.

00:36:19.920 So you could buy, there were these, like, moguls, these pornography moguls who were buying, you know, for a hundred bucks, they'd get a, you know, you know, 200 images of a sexy, you know, Polish girl or German girl.

00:36:34.620 And then they would sell subscriptions to people online on some of these early sites.

00:36:40.420 And, and they'd sell them for a ton of money.

00:36:42.600 It was meant they were making so much money.

00:36:44.000 It was crazy.

00:36:45.480 But poor, I mean, the first thing they get, if you, I bet you, if you go back to hieroglyphics, I bet they got, the first thing you see is like a fire, a little bit of directions, maybe a recipe. 0.94

00:36:56.680 Somebody drew like some wheat and a, plus, you know, a picture of some, you know, maybe a boar's hip or something, or a, you know, a cut of vark or a fucking pheasant or a damn moose or something, you know, plus water, water pot equals. 0.91

00:37:13.780 And then, you know, they draw pictures of people eating together. 0.96

00:37:16.960 But, but if you walk down that cave and look probably behind a little bit of a rock or a few, you know, a few pictograms over, somebody sketched out some crotch or some cooter or some pornography. 0.55

00:37:30.740 It's a huge business.

00:37:31.820 It's heavy.

00:37:32.320 It's big.

00:37:33.100 It's a big thing.

00:37:34.040 It might even start to behoove them to have a section that is, you know, epitaph porn or, you know, rest in, you know, rest in porn.

00:37:46.220 That could be a cute little section they could do.

00:37:48.840 So I'm curious to see as more and more porn stars die, how do they embrace this as an industry?

00:37:57.040 You know, I wonder if they still get residuals off of that.

00:37:59.020 I don't think they do.

00:37:59.620 I think from everything that I know, a lot of these girls just get flat fees. 1.00

00:38:04.660 I should have asked Zoe that.

00:38:06.540 But, man, if you've seen Zoe, boy, you've got to get out there, boy.

00:38:08.980 She's done. 0.96

00:38:10.800 Man, I wish I could do, my butt cannot even do any of those tricks. 0.92

00:38:15.280 And I'm grateful that it can't. 0.95

00:38:16.880 But she really got, I mean, she's, man, make you get off the bus, boy, and walk out in the woods, dude.

00:38:25.100 Man, make you get out there and be alone by yourself and be by yourself.

00:38:30.400 Okay.

00:38:31.040 Let's catch a couple more responses here.

00:38:33.140 Here's one more we got.

00:38:34.020 Hey, what's up, man?

00:38:35.200 This is G from Phoenix. 1.00

00:38:36.640 Just calling in about JP's question, jerking off to dead porn stars. 0.99

00:38:41.660 I think that it would be disrespectful not to because that's kind of like, that's their art form. 0.99

00:38:48.000 You think if Denzel Washington died that he would want us to stop watching Training Day?

00:38:53.920 If anything, you should have a marathon and watch all of them.

00:38:58.140 I don't know if you can do that in a row, especially some of these bigger ones because they have such a volume of work.

00:39:03.440 It just translates like that.

00:39:05.060 Denzel would want us to remember the Titans, not black it out and not ever watch it again.

00:39:11.240 Well, true.

00:39:12.620 That's a good point.

00:39:13.680 But if you remember the Titans and you're out there trying to remember them, I'm not jerking off to remember the Titans.

00:39:21.400 That's the thing.

00:39:23.180 I'm not out there jerking off to Sergeant Sully lands the plane or whatever that movie was.

00:39:30.400 So that's the thing. 0.64

00:39:31.400 It's different if you're at the movie theater and Denzel Washington's dead and you're jerking off to Stand By Me or something I think he might have been in. 0.99

00:39:41.240 Then that's, that's fucked up. 0.99

00:39:44.740 But if you, you know, with a porn star, it's a little different because there is that physical connection where there's expected to be, I think, a release. 0.99

00:39:52.980 But I respect that.

00:39:54.560 I respect that.

00:39:55.760 It'd be disrespectful not to watch.

00:39:57.960 They did the work.

00:39:58.920 They put it out there.

00:40:01.340 You know, in 30 years, this could be like those, like the books when I used to go see in the library.

00:40:05.800 And I've told this story before that when I was young, I really, I mean, I was, I was into pornography early.

00:40:13.560 And once I saw it, I mean, the first real porno magazines I found, I found in my, well, the first one, this boy at the library showed me a picture of it and beat me up.

00:40:25.540 And then we had this other kid before that used to draw, you have draw crotches. 1.00

00:40:30.280 If you wanted to see a crotch, you had to get him to draw you one because this dude was, I mean, he was just like Jared the jeweler.

00:40:36.900 I mean, this dude had the best, he could draw, oh, he could draw it all.

00:40:41.580 And that's what you get for the weekend, you know, give him, you know, six bucks or something and get that drawing of crotch for the weekend.

00:40:49.700 But then, you know, I started going to the library and seeing these Rubenesque women in these old volumes of, uh, in the library. 0.84

00:40:57.600 And dude, I remember I'd be so erect in there, in that library.

00:41:01.060 And I would take this book and literally close the book on my wiener, you know, and just kind of smash it against it, like press the book against it on both sides until I, you know, expelled joy out of my body.

00:41:15.720 And that's just being young.

00:41:17.040 I mean, I think I was probably 12, you know, and we've all done weird stuff and I'm not proud of that, you know, but I don't feel a lot of shame because I just, this wasn't a time.

00:41:28.200 That's how, if we wanted porn, like, you know, it was so rare to come across. 0.89

00:41:33.560 So anything that would get me lit a little bit in the crotch, I would find it. 0.73

00:41:38.280 And I found those, and I found those, these were encyclopedias, art encyclopedias.

00:41:42.260 And they had pictures from Rodin and Peter Paul Rubens and some of these other artists.

00:41:47.140 And I'd get in there and, um, and just look at the picture and then just close it up on my, because just that pressure on your rod at that time, at that youth with that virility going through you.

00:41:57.360 I mean, really brought you to the end of, um, it brought you to what you wanted, you know, it brought you to want to, you know, get that free ounce out of your body.

00:42:05.520 But, uh, here we go.

00:42:07.240 One more call right here.

00:42:08.560 And this came in from Jennifer.

00:42:09.800 Here we go.

00:42:10.860 Hi, this is Jennifer.

00:42:13.060 And there was a question about the porn star thing. 0.98

00:42:17.160 I don't really think that it's wrong to masturbate to a porn star that's dead. 0.82

00:42:24.840 And I just think it's kind of like, it's artwork in its own way, I guess. 1.00

00:42:30.100 I think if they cared, they would have wrote a will and said, when I die, take my shit offline. 0.99

00:42:39.060 Hi, this is... 1.00

00:42:40.580 Well, and there you go.

00:42:42.100 Thank you, Jennifer.

00:42:42.740 I appreciate that call.

00:42:43.660 Um, and I'm thinking about it more now as I'm even hearing, now, now when I hear a woman's voice say it right there, it puts it a little bit more, it makes it more real to me a little bit, you know, because the pornography that I watch is women. 0.95

00:42:57.760 You know, I enjoy women's sex and, and man and woman's sex together. 0.98

00:43:02.460 You know, I enjoy heterosexual sex on the internet watching. 0.99

00:43:06.740 That's what I, if I do watch, which I try not to watch anymore, sorry, which I try not to watch anymore, that's what I watch.

00:43:13.460 But if I, if I, after hearing Jennifer's voice right there, but after hearing Jennifer's voice right there, it kind of, I don't know, in a weird way, it just made me have a little bit more,

00:43:27.920 not respect for women, but it made it more real all of a sudden that just now, just in this moment of hearing her voice talking about it, uh, for me, and this won't be for anybody else, but I think that I would now, I don't, I want to know if they're deceased or not.

00:43:46.160 I think that they should put a regulation on the porn websites.

00:43:49.560 If someone is deceased, put, have a little headstone pop up in the beginning, you know, or like a, have a, um, you know, a cross or a star of David or a, um, you know, a Hindu statue, whatever, or Muslims, whatever their religion was, have something, you know, a two second homage to that.

00:44:09.280 Uh, maybe have a, you know, or have the head, you know, have the memoriam, you know, um, busty Barbara, you know, you know, 1998 to 2007, you know, have that bust up every now and then, or that's, uh, is that old enough?

00:44:25.040 Yeah.

00:44:25.200 Okay, good.

00:44:26.040 Um, yeah.

00:44:26.560 Like have that pop up every now and then at least, you know, what's going on, but I would like that. 0.95

00:44:30.640 And I would, because otherwise I don't want to be out there busting nuts to, I don't, I don't want to be out there ejaculating to the deceased. 0.93

00:44:37.200 And you know why? 0.94

00:44:39.820 Because there's tons of women on the websites who are not deceased and that sits better in my soul.

00:44:47.700 So I think that these sites should have a little bit of respect and put the women into a special, uh, a special folder or a special, um, you know, site box or whatever that says, you know, the graveyard or whatever, you know, 0.96

00:45:05.780 so that it, then at least you can have old, you can masturbate slower or you can wear something nice while you masturbate or you can have some regard for the past, for the fact you can light some candles.

00:45:19.660 Like I said, you could do the sage, you could do whatever you could have some regard for the pat, for the fact that these women are no longer alive.

00:45:25.760 Cause I don't think when I get to the, to the reckoning spot or whatever it is, you know, when I get into that, that bait, great big cliff in the air and the spirit that's out there, the higher power, whatever it is says jump. 0.96

00:45:40.240 And that's when you find out if they're going to, if they, you know, if the big dog going to catch you in his hand or the big woman, wherever she, whoever it is, or they're going to let you fall down into the smithereens and a dragon is just going to fucking eat your legs off while you're falling through the air.

00:45:56.200 I don't want that to be, I don't want that to be another anvil that's weighing down in my body, deep in my soul that I was, um, that I was, you know, I was making free ones, uh, to, to the deceased.

00:46:13.320 I don't want it.

00:46:14.760 And simply because there's enough work out there where I don't need it.

00:46:18.480 So I'll take that right there.

00:46:19.840 Um, what else I want to talk about the game, dude, I still don't know who won.

00:46:27.780 I could easily see that Minnesota completed two passes and got in field goal range.

00:46:32.280 I could easily see that.

00:46:34.780 Uh, what else right here?

00:46:36.480 I'm going to check in.

00:46:39.140 Um, that's it, man.

00:46:41.360 I had some more stuff I wanted to get into, but, uh, um,

00:46:47.560 This is in the news.

00:46:51.600 I'm going to hit this news story real quick.

00:46:53.460 A man claiming to be a police detective went to his local adult porn shop and demanded they give him free porn videos so he can make sure none of the performers were under age. 0.98

00:47:07.660 Ah, what a smut Muppet. 0.99

00:47:10.760 He made three attempts within a nine day span when the store owner finally had, had enough and called the police. 0.96

00:47:18.440 This man is still on the run.

00:47:20.140 If you encounter a man claiming to be with the, sorry, this is making me laugh.

00:47:24.640 It's not cool.

00:47:25.660 With the age verification unit, make sure you don't give him any of your porn for free and alert the police immediately.

00:47:31.820 And like Zoe said right there, man, a few minutes ago, you know, hit those, hit the sites that she mentioned.

00:47:38.520 Pay for the, pay for the porn, get the good stuff, get involved, support your artists.

00:47:42.880 You know, if, uh, if Picasso said, Hey man, you want to come watch me paint? 1.00

00:47:46.940 You're like, nah, just look at your old shit all the time. 0.99

00:47:49.560 He's like, it's $3 to get in here and watch me sketch something out. 1.00

00:47:53.120 Would you go watch him, you know, bust one, you know, a fucking series of color nuts out of his hand and imagination? 0.98

00:48:00.280 Would you go watch him paint and make something? 0.99

00:48:02.840 You might. 1.00

00:48:04.400 Instead of just looking at his old shit. 1.00

00:48:06.760 So support that. 1.00

00:48:08.400 Support that.

00:48:09.560 Uh, we have, uh, two more calls that came in.

00:48:11.400 Actually one was an email, uh, that I wanted to get some, uh, maybe some suggestions you guys might have.

00:48:15.760 If anybody out there has kids, you guys might have some information on this.

00:48:19.520 Um, I'm going to tell you my upcoming dates.

00:48:22.600 This weekend I'll be at the New Comedy Club in Jacksonville, Florida.

00:48:27.020 That's the 18th through the 20th.

00:48:28.440 I'll be at Harvey's in Portland, February 8th through 11th.

00:48:32.180 February 16th through the 18th, I'll be at La Jolla, California at the Comedy Store.

00:48:37.160 February 22nd through the 24th, I'll be in Indio, uh, California at Fantasy Springs.

00:48:42.320 And April 6th and 7th, I'll be in Tampa, Florida at Rock Brothers Brewing.

00:48:47.080 There's also, I think, March 22nd and 23rd, I'll be in Tacoma, Washington.

00:48:52.260 Uh, that's where I'll be, Tacoma, Washington and Spokane, Washington.

00:48:56.120 And I'll get those dates up on the website this week.

00:49:00.260 Let's hit one more call right here.

00:49:01.720 Here we go.

00:49:03.720 Hi, Theo.

00:49:04.740 My name is Nicole.

00:49:05.600 I'm calling from Houston, Texas.

00:49:08.380 Thank you for your call, Nicole.

00:49:09.900 Onward.

00:49:10.580 I'm a stay-at-home mom.

00:49:11.660 I have a young boy, and I'm expecting another young boy here in a few months.

00:49:16.920 Oh, congratulations.

00:49:18.040 He's going to have a brother.

00:49:20.060 You know, that's pretty special.

00:49:21.140 I don't think, you know, you can't really plan a hell, uh, you can't really plan ahead on a lot of that.

00:49:25.680 You know, to, um, you know, I don't think you know as a parent, maybe you don't know what you're creating when you make a brother for a kid.

00:49:33.640 But that can be, I mean, there's no other relationship like that.

00:49:37.380 So, you know, I commend you on being brave enough to have two children.

00:49:41.840 Because not only are you creating, you're going to be creating a relationship with you and your son, you're going to be broadening your family.

00:49:46.700 But you are giving a kid a brother, and there's nothing, you know, I can't explain to you, uh, you know, I'm fortunate enough to have a brother, and I can't explain to you what that relationship is like.

00:49:59.640 Um, it hasn't always been great.

00:50:01.020 But it's just so, it's so great to have a brotherhood to be able to, to compare and navigate, um, how I'm supposed to behave towards other men, uh, and how, uh, and have someone who already is a little bit of a blueprint of myself out there to look at and feed off of, um, to get ideas and inklings for things and get some advice and some suggestions.

00:50:29.220 So, you're really creating something awesome.

00:50:31.580 So, I commend you for that.

00:50:32.900 Onward.

00:50:33.640 And I, along with what seems like my entire community of girlfriends, we were all professionals that chose to stay at home.

00:50:41.180 And when that happened, we saw that we were underserved in the capacity that we're taught how to be great employees, great coworkers.

00:50:52.640 But we have never been taught how to manage a home and to raise children, you know, do all of those things, a bit more traditional in nature.

00:51:03.820 So, my question to you is, especially since we, you have talked to us a lot about, um, the sort of war against men, the culture of irresponsibility, which we all see, um, that's happened and is happening.

00:51:18.100 What are some things that you, as a man, would advise new moms to instill in their young sons to be later good men?

00:51:33.100 Does that make sense?

00:51:34.020 I hope so.

00:51:35.100 Hi, Theo.

00:51:35.900 My name is Nicole.

00:51:37.100 And that just circles back around her call.

00:51:39.280 Sometimes it just plays.

00:51:40.040 If I let it go through, it starts back over.

00:51:41.540 But that's a great question.

00:51:42.500 Let's hear the very end of it again.

00:51:43.840 Here we go.

00:51:44.280 One more time.

00:51:44.820 Are some things that you, as a man, would advise new moms to instill in their young sons to be later good men?

00:51:58.420 That does make sense.

00:52:01.520 Sorry to clear my throat there.

00:52:03.400 It does make sense if, you know, I think spending time with them one-on-one as they get a little bit older, you know, as they get to be like five, six, seven, eight.

00:52:14.820 Uh, spend some time just separately.

00:52:17.840 Go do something separate with your son.

00:52:20.300 You know, one of the only things I ever got to do with my mom that was just me and her was, uh, we went to Wendy's one time.

00:52:29.040 And I know that doesn't sound like a lot, but, and I probably have talked about this before, but, um, you know, my mother worked all the time.

00:52:36.740 You know, she didn't want us to be on welfare, so she worked.

00:52:39.320 And I'm not saying that she's better than your mom.

00:52:42.000 I'm not saying that she's better than your grandmother or she's any different.

00:52:44.460 I'm not saying anything like that.

00:52:46.160 I'm just saying that.

00:52:48.300 And I think she worked sometimes, too, because she was probably stressed out from having four children.

00:52:52.860 She didn't know what else to do, maybe, sometimes.

00:52:54.860 So she did what she knew how to do, which was to work.

00:52:58.580 But one time I was sick or something.

00:53:00.660 I couldn't be at school.

00:53:01.540 I could have gotten, you know, expelled maybe, or not expelled, but suspended.

00:53:05.960 And so I had to go to work with my mom.

00:53:09.420 And we rode around us, like, different cities or whatever, and we're delivering, like, magazines.

00:53:13.200 She was delivering magazines at the time.

00:53:15.800 We were delivering these magazines.

00:53:17.660 And it was just kind of cool, because I got to be with her.

00:53:20.860 It was just me and her.

00:53:22.180 And we went to Wendy's for lunch.

00:53:24.360 And I'd never went to a lunch place just with me and my mom before, you know.

00:53:29.780 And there was too long of a line inside, so we went through the drive-thru.

00:53:35.380 And we got sandwiches, and we just rode around and ate them. 0.99

00:53:38.400 And I'm sure I was probably an asshole that day, but, you know, as a typical kid. 0.96

00:53:41.720 But looking back, I remember it as, like, one of my favorite times, where I got to spend time with just me and my mother. 0.97

00:53:46.840 So I would just make sure that, you know, or I don't know, make sure.

00:53:49.680 I don't have a family, but I think that that's important, to make sure there's some connection there.

00:53:57.060 And then, you know, I think try not to tell your son.

00:54:02.820 He don't always want to hear what will do better.

00:54:07.200 Sometimes he just wants you to love him and just let him know that he's okay.

00:54:13.200 And to, you know, let him know that you love him.

00:54:17.960 That's it.

00:54:19.400 You know, sometimes a kid doesn't want to always hear how it could be better or how he could have done it different or what.

00:54:24.180 Because they don't, they don't, that's adult stuff.

00:54:28.860 You know, and I've struggled with that over my life, telling people what they could do better.

00:54:33.260 You know, sometimes people just want to hear that they're not alone.

00:54:35.180 And especially your kid, your son will want to hear that.

00:54:37.960 And then I would take some control and I would, I would talk to him about how he treats women.

00:54:45.260 Because I don't think that's a conversation that just men need to have with their sons anymore.

00:54:51.440 I do think that that's a conversation that women need to have. 1.00

00:54:54.320 And I commend you.

00:54:55.240 So I think that the toughest thing a woman can do is be a mom and to manage the home and to take the risk of there being less income in the home to stay at home and create that family. 1.00

00:55:06.680 But if we can get out of what the world tells us is good and we can get back into what our heart tells us is right or good.

00:55:14.440 I'm not going to say right.

00:55:15.520 That's not the word.

00:55:16.200 But feels good.

00:55:18.640 Then I think, you know, we'll find a lot of times that it's that, that it's being with our family, you know, and having those fun times and having those, you know, ridiculous.

00:55:28.960 My favorite time that I ever had when I was young was when the power went out.

00:55:32.100 And my family would all be together and we couldn't fight or beat each other because they had candles lit and it's dangerous to beat each other around candles.

00:55:41.060 So we would just be together and we were kind of scared and nervous, but we were all together like in one place.

00:55:48.960 You know, my mom had two candles and so we would have to be by her.

00:55:52.460 We would have to be together.

00:55:53.980 And it was just, I don't know, there was something special about that.

00:55:57.160 So, you know, I think those are a few things, but that might be some good calls, man.

00:56:04.180 Maybe we can do that.

00:56:04.960 Have a couple of calls that come in about that.

00:56:06.440 If you guys have some thoughts on that, you know, and that's, you know, you heard her question and I appreciate that question.

00:56:13.140 I'm gonna play it for you guys one more time.

00:56:14.560 Here we go.

00:56:15.000 What are some things that you as a man would advise new moms to instill in their young sons to be later good men? 0.87

00:56:32.760 Does that make sense?

00:56:34.200 Yeah, it does make sense.

00:56:35.160 And I mean, some of those are just gonna be general, regular things.

00:56:37.200 But I think I would love to hear some answers on this question for today, for today's society, today's times, because there is some evolution that needs to happen.

00:56:48.560 And I think some of the ways that we communicate, well, we can't help, evolution is happening.

00:56:55.040 You know, it's like we have to communicate now on, you know, cellular devices.

00:56:58.920 And, you know, I think so it's got to be a lot harder for parents.

00:57:03.260 So maybe, I don't know what's, I'd love to maybe hear if you guys have some stuff.

00:57:09.240 I had some more awesome calls that came in and I wanted to get to some of them.

00:57:12.680 I just have to go do this comedy set, guys.

00:57:14.560 I'm sorry, but I will be back on Thursday and we'll get into some more good stuff, dude.

00:57:20.180 You guys stay safe out in Hawaii.

00:57:22.320 They had a mailman in Louisiana that finally, finally admitted to burning all the mail instead of delivering it.

00:57:29.060 And you know what, dude? 0.97

00:57:29.980 Dude, that's fucking awesome. 1.00

00:57:32.420 But also, go fuck yourself, bruh. 1.00

00:57:35.640 You know? 1.00

00:57:37.100 Mark Wayne Thompson pled guilty to delay or destruction of mail.

00:57:42.020 Thompson admitted that instead of delivering mail, he just took it home with him and burned it.

00:57:45.660 As a result, he now faces up to five years in prison.

00:57:48.360 Or three years supervised release.

00:57:50.680 That's hilarious.

00:57:51.900 What you in for, man? 0.99

00:57:53.160 And, oh, you know, fucking cooking up a batch of, um, of, uh, cooking up a, cooking up a batch of Bed Bath & Beyond coupons. 0.98

00:58:06.820 Oh, what is the world coming to? 0.98

00:58:08.940 I don't know, but I think we can embrace it with a smile as it does.

00:58:11.560 You know, there is dark stuff going on out there.

00:58:15.360 You know, porn stars are dying. 1.00

00:58:16.900 People are jerking off to dead people on the internet. 0.99

00:58:19.540 And you might not like the way I frame that, but that's a real framing. 0.97

00:58:23.680 That is a real framing, boy.

00:58:26.080 That's Michael's.

00:58:26.960 That's done in the back of Michael's.

00:58:28.220 You know it.

00:58:29.120 It's more expensive than you thought.

00:58:30.520 That's real framing.

00:58:31.240 You know, but there's still also those mothers out there who are asking, how can they help and do and raise their kids?

00:58:40.980 And they want to know from kids who have grown up, what could your mother or your mother, what did she do?

00:58:46.580 Or what could your mother have done that you think would have helped you along the way?

00:58:51.380 And that is a good way I think we can frame that question.

00:58:55.740 So I appreciate you guys' calls, man.

00:58:57.700 I appreciate everybody that came out in Bray.

00:58:58.840 I hope to see you guys soon.

00:59:01.560 We'll do some ads in the upcoming episode.

00:59:03.800 Oh, that's my brother.

00:59:05.760 My brother right there.

00:59:09.060 What's up, Z?

00:59:10.800 Hey, bro.

00:59:11.660 You saw it?

00:59:12.360 Dude, don't tell me what happened.

00:59:13.360 No, no, no.

00:59:13.720 I didn't.

00:59:14.120 Look, do not tell me.

00:59:16.280 Oh, man.

00:59:16.700 You should have texted me, man.

00:59:18.320 Well, that's why I didn't.

00:59:19.960 I wouldn't have told you anything if you said, hey, don't tell me anything about the game.

00:59:23.660 No, actually, this is a perfect ending because I'm just finishing up my podcast.

00:59:26.200 This is the very end, and I don't know what happened.

00:59:28.140 I paused it right after the Saints kicked their field goal.

00:59:30.280 There was 25 seconds left, and you're on the podcast now, and I can take this off later

00:59:35.320 if you want, but why don't you tell me what happened?

00:59:40.080 I want to know.

00:59:41.780 Now you want to know what happened in the game?

00:59:43.420 Well, yeah.

00:59:43.900 I mean, now's the time to know.

00:59:45.000 This is almost, I mean, I'm just finishing the podcast.

00:59:47.140 This is the perfect time, and we were just talking about brotherhood and stuff a minute

00:59:50.640 ago, so this is kind of, it's perfect.

00:59:53.460 All right, you want me to tell, give about 10 minutes about who I am?

00:59:58.160 I'm just kidding.

00:59:58.980 Yeah.

00:59:59.640 I appreciate it, dude.

01:00:02.200 Well, there was 10 seconds left.

01:00:04.120 The third is 10 or whatever.

01:00:05.600 They need about 20 yards to get a field goal range.

01:00:07.940 25 yards, maybe more than that.

01:00:09.540 Uh-huh.

01:00:09.840 And, you know, I'll put it like this, there's a one in a hundred chance that the Saints lose.

01:00:16.200 1%.

01:00:16.680 Yeah.

01:00:17.860 And they fell into that 1%.

01:00:19.740 Yeah.

01:00:22.400 They lost.

01:00:23.340 Dude, he threw it to Tavon Diggs, whatever his name is.

01:00:26.640 Dude caught it at like 40, right?

01:00:28.460 Right.

01:00:28.820 About, about probably four feet from the sideline, Marcus Williams was right there.

01:00:35.020 Uh-huh.

01:00:35.720 Like, all he had to do was literally pull him to the ground.

01:00:39.100 But for some weird reason, when Tavon Diggs jumped in the air, Marcus Williams, like, dove

01:00:44.200 underneath him.

01:00:45.080 I don't know what he was doing.

01:00:46.000 Like, I think he was trying to upend him or something.

01:00:47.940 Uh-huh.

01:00:48.580 And when he dove underneath him and missed him, I mean, clearly missed him.

01:00:52.320 Wow.

01:00:52.980 Like, he beat, he rolled into the other cornerback.

01:00:56.640 I don't know, it might have been Latimer, who it was there.

01:00:58.960 And Tavon Diggs just ran into the end zone.

01:01:00.840 No, they got a touchdown?

01:01:02.960 Yeah, it was zero seconds from the clock. 1.00

01:01:04.500 Fuck! 1.00

01:01:04.700 It was zero seconds left, dude. 1.00

01:01:05.540 They were like on our 35?

01:01:08.020 Yeah.

01:01:08.540 No, and they were on 35 or 40, yeah.

01:01:11.960 Like a 1% chance we would lose that game at that point. 1.00

01:01:16.300 Damn, man. 0.99

01:01:17.040 I think they lost like that, similar to Tampa Bay. 0.99

01:01:18.960 I didn't see the end of the Tampa Bay game, but.

01:01:21.480 It just kind of makes me mad.

01:01:22.600 It was a heartbreak, man.

01:01:23.300 It was a heartbreak, man.

01:01:24.400 It really was, because I didn't think we'd win that game.

01:01:27.120 We were down 17 to nothing at the half.

01:01:28.940 Yeah, I know.

01:01:29.820 I didn't think we'd win going in.

01:01:31.100 We had like a 30, 40% shot.

01:01:33.660 And we came back and really, played really well the second half.

01:01:37.880 Yeah.

01:01:38.860 Dude just made such a weird play.

01:01:40.600 I don't know what he was, I really don't know what he was doing.

01:01:42.700 I just, I can't figure it out, you know.

01:01:44.180 I mean, they contained him well.

01:01:45.800 I mean, it was like a last-ditch effort, basically, is what it was.

01:01:49.660 And I just don't see how, but it happened, you know.

01:01:53.220 It's over now.

01:01:53.980 I mean, our season's over.

01:01:55.400 I still can't believe it, but it is over.

01:01:57.480 But, man, I mean.

01:01:58.940 Yeah, the weirdest stuff, dude. 1.00

01:02:00.660 Damn, man. 1.00

01:02:02.940 I know. 1.00

01:02:03.480 We had the game, man.

01:02:04.660 Did we, I thought, I figured we have a really, really good shot here.

01:02:09.500 Man.

01:02:11.340 Yeah.

01:02:11.880 I'm ready to go smoke some crack now. 1.00

01:02:13.760 Damn, dude. 1.00

01:02:15.480 You out there, boy. 1.00

01:02:17.440 Yeah.

01:02:17.660 Quick question.

01:02:19.000 So, actually, we had a lady that called in, and she said, what is something, she's about

01:02:22.160 to have her second child, and she said, what is something that mothers can do with their 1.00

01:02:29.660 sons these days to help make them better men?

01:02:33.240 And it's kind of a question for mothers, but it's also a question for sons.

01:02:36.420 What do you think is one thing?

01:02:39.860 Something a mother can do with their children to make them better men, their sons? 1.00

01:02:43.900 Yeah, or something they could talk to and instill in them.

01:02:46.100 I don't know.

01:02:46.520 I think it was a little bit broad, but.

01:02:49.700 Yeah, well, you know, I don't know if there's a lot you can do when those children are young

01:02:55.160 to make them better men when they get older.

01:02:58.720 Mm-hmm.

01:02:59.520 I think some of that, some of the, I don't know, some of the, that male stuff we learn

01:03:05.700 when they're a little bit older, but when they're young, I think the best thing a mother 0.87

01:03:10.060 could do is connect with, emotionally connect with their children and be emotionally available.

01:03:15.300 Yeah.

01:03:16.520 Don't make sure that the child knows that their behavior does not determine your love

01:03:21.780 for them, even if it makes you upset with what they do, what they don't do.

01:03:25.160 And you, and another thing, you know, is you can tell children early on, you can explain

01:03:30.040 certain things to them.

01:03:30.860 You might simplify it, but they will understand you.

01:03:34.080 Right.

01:03:34.580 I tell my five-year-old, you know, I've been telling them, my five and four-year-old, we're

01:03:38.840 the six and five now, but even since they were four, if I'm mad at you, it doesn't mean

01:03:43.420 I don't love you.

01:03:44.340 Mm-hmm.

01:03:45.480 All right.

01:03:45.680 No matter what you do, I'll love you.

01:03:47.640 Mm-hmm.

01:03:48.160 Now, that's what you do may get you in trouble, but it says, I don't love you.

01:03:52.620 And then they understand, you know.

01:03:54.740 Yeah.

01:03:55.640 Now, that's huge.

01:03:57.140 Yeah.

01:03:57.340 My five-year-old will say, you're mad at me, you don't love me.

01:03:59.360 He'll say that.

01:03:59.980 Max will say that.

01:04:00.780 Ooh.

01:04:01.460 And I'll say, no, it doesn't mean that.

01:04:02.920 It means that I'm mad at you.

01:04:04.420 So, you kind of, you know, you just got to help them along.

01:04:08.000 And emotional availability and accept unconditional love is what they need.

01:04:12.500 I mean, that's the only type of person I like in life that needs unconditional love or warranted

01:04:18.440 is parent-child, especially mother-child.

01:04:21.660 I mean, they have to be able to, they have to know that you love them no matter what they

01:04:25.100 do, even if they kill somebody when they're eight or ten.

01:04:28.340 I mean, I'm not saying, I'm just an extreme example.

01:04:30.960 No, they got some young, they got some young hitters out there. 0.87

01:04:33.880 Yeah.

01:04:34.700 The amount, you know, the amount of your love should not waver.

01:04:41.040 Yeah, because you're the only place they can get that.

01:04:43.800 Right.

01:04:44.260 And you may choose not to talk to them or be extremely disappointed, not talk to them

01:04:48.440 for a year, whatever.

01:04:49.400 But, you know, so I think it's real important, you know, because sometimes in our society,

01:04:53.760 we're, our worth is built on what we do or what we don't do.

01:04:59.060 And I think a lot of that starts in parenthood, you know, when the children are young.

01:05:03.540 Yeah.

01:05:04.000 You can fill that tank up early and let them know that.

01:05:06.260 Now, look, man, I even just liked hearing that, you know, that not what, you know, my

01:05:11.960 behavior, if I would have heard that when I was young, I think I would have, I might

01:05:15.760 be a little bit of a healthier person today, you know?

01:05:19.420 Yeah, me too.

01:05:20.400 I mean, as you know, me too.

01:05:21.640 Yeah.

01:05:21.860 All right, man.

01:05:23.160 Well, I appreciate you calling.

01:05:24.640 I'm going to call you later because I got to run.

01:05:25.860 I literally have to drive straight to Brea right now.

01:05:28.220 All right, I'm going to go hit this crack.

01:05:29.200 Love you. 0.99

01:05:29.540 Damn, I love you too. 0.99

01:05:30.400 Bye. 0.99

01:05:31.080 Bye.

01:05:32.540 That's my brother, Zephyrino.

01:05:34.060 He lives down in, he lives in Baton Rouge, Louisiana.

01:05:38.940 But yeah, I think that's an interesting answer.

01:05:42.580 He really likes to think about this kind of stuff and he loves to be a parent.

01:05:45.540 And his wife is a stay-at-home mom. 0.92

01:05:50.560 And that's a CEO in my book, you know? 0.99

01:05:52.720 I mean, if I could go back in time, and this shit's got me a little bit emotional, but if 0.99

01:05:55.900 I could go back in time and have anything, I would have that, you know? 0.98

01:06:00.840 I mean, I can't even imagine what that would be like, you know, to just, you know, just be

01:06:06.560 at home and be having fun and be comfortable and have your mom around, you know? 0.99

01:06:11.500 So, but anyhow, dude, you fucking, you guys are hitting me in a hot beat here at the end. 0.99

01:06:16.280 But that's a great question. 0.99

01:06:17.660 We'll leave it right there.

01:06:18.580 I had a lovely young gentleman, Mr. Ochoa, who messaged in.

01:06:23.720 He's afraid to call in.

01:06:24.780 He had a question I thought was interesting.

01:06:26.900 But we're going to get to that on Thursday, brother.

01:06:28.660 So if you're out there, hold the line and we'll see you then.

01:06:31.480 If you have questions, hit the hotline, 985-664-9503.

01:06:35.740 I'm running a Brea.

01:06:37.420 I appreciate you guys.

01:06:38.980 Be good to yourselves.

01:06:40.280 You probably deserve it. 0.95

01:07:05.740 Let's have some fun while we all die. 0.99

01:07:10.740 Let's have some fun while we all die. 0.89

01:07:15.740 Celebrate dark days. 0.95

01:07:19.420 Celebrate all your pain.

01:07:24.180 All of your demons exercised. 0.99

01:07:28.120 Let's have some fun while we all die. 0.97

01:07:33.120 Let's have some fun while we all die. 0.99

01:07:35.120 Let's have some fun while we all die. 0.97

01:07:45.120 Let's have some fun when we all die.

01:07:49.360 Ladies and gentlemen, I'm Jonathan Kite and welcome to Kite Club, a podcast where I'll

01:08:13.260 be sharing thoughts on things like current events, stand-up stories, and seven ways to

01:08:17.940 pleasure your partner. The answer may shock you. Sometimes I'll interview my friends, sometimes

01:08:23.640 I won't. And as always, I'll be joined by the voices in my head. You have three new voice

01:08:30.060 messages. A lot of people are talking about Kite Club. I've been talking about Kite Club

01:08:35.520 for so long, longer than anybody else. So great. Hi, sweetheart. Here's the deal. Anyone who

01:08:43.060 doesn't listen to Kite Club is a dodgy bloody wanker. Jermaine. Hi, I'll take a quarter pounder 1.00

01:08:49.820 with cheese and a McFlurry. Sorry, sir, but our ice cream machine is broken. Oh, no. I think

01:08:56.560 Tom Hanks just butt dialed me. Anyway, first rule of Kite Club is tell everyone about Kite

01:09:02.040 Club. Second rule of Kite Club is tell everyone about Kite Club. Third rule, like and subscribe

01:09:08.420 wherever you listen to podcasts or watch us on YouTube. Yeah. And yes, don't worry. My Brad Pitt

01:09:14.360 impression will get better.

This Past Weekend with Theo Von - January 15, 2018

1-15-18 ｜ This Past Weekend #67

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