This Past Weekend with Theo Von - 1-22-18

00:00:00.000 All right, we got that action, man.

00:00:03.080 The air plug's starting to flex a little.

00:00:06.540 Let's see what we can do.

00:00:30.000 Let's see what we can do.

00:01:00.000 It could be Hebrew, maybe.

00:01:01.800 I don't know if Israeli is the term.

00:01:03.840 Levine.

00:01:05.520 One of my best friends.

00:01:08.720 Levi is Jewish, and I know that could be a similar name.

00:01:11.920 Could be one of my brews.

00:01:13.260 You got your bros.

00:01:14.140 You got your brews.

00:01:15.860 That is Brad Levine, a.k.a. Better Off Barefoot.

00:01:20.000 Let's take in one more little kick of that.

00:01:23.260 He'll kick you in the fucking...

00:01:25.000 Kicking me in the gimel right there, boy.

00:01:30.000 A little funk this morning.

00:01:40.280 Thank you, Brad Levine.

00:01:41.340 Better Off Barefoot for submitting that

00:01:43.800 and helping us all get on board on this Monday morning.

00:01:46.680 And I had a little bit of funk.

00:01:49.160 You know, I had a little bit of funk in my life this week,

00:01:52.480 and I was in Jacksonville.

00:01:54.440 I was in Jacksonville, Florida.

00:01:56.520 And if you haven't been to Jacksonville,

00:01:58.300 it's like the Bermuda Triangle of...

00:02:01.680 It's basically like a Ross...

00:02:05.760 It's kind of like a Ross dress for less,

00:02:08.420 but it's alive.

00:02:12.280 If you could imagine that.

00:02:14.520 Everybody seems a little...

00:02:15.900 It's like everybody's...

00:02:17.080 It seemed like...

00:02:17.860 First of all, it seemed like the whole place

00:02:19.040 is the witness protection program.

00:02:21.020 You are in...

00:02:22.320 And people are going to think that I'm riffing on Jacksonville.

00:02:24.780 I actually had a great time.

00:02:27.740 I had a great time.

00:02:29.700 But Jacksonville...

00:02:31.620 I mean, it's a Bermuda Triangle.

00:02:34.660 If you lost a friend in Jacksonville,

00:02:37.720 nobody would be like,

00:02:39.480 Oh, that's crazy.

00:02:40.920 They'd be like,

00:02:41.280 Yeah, yeah, you probably did.

00:02:42.900 You probably misplaced a couple family members

00:02:45.300 over there in J-Ville.

00:02:47.860 Duval!

00:02:49.380 That's what they say when you're there.

00:02:50.600 They say Duval County.

00:02:51.740 And if you listen to Jacksonville Jaguars games,

00:02:54.300 you can hear that in the background.

00:02:56.200 Duval.

00:02:56.960 They say that, and that's Duval County

00:02:58.600 because that's a wild county.

00:03:01.420 And...

00:03:01.740 Because Jacksonville, I mean, it's just...

00:03:04.480 Everybody seems like you're in the witness protection program.

00:03:07.300 And I was even talking about this on stage.

00:03:08.980 It's like...

00:03:10.100 Nobody's giving out any information.

00:03:14.280 Everybody's kind of got a court case pending a little bit.

00:03:17.160 And it's diverse as can be.

00:03:19.520 You meet a white person, but they are black.

00:03:22.180 You meet a black person, but they are Jamaican.

00:03:25.280 You meet a Jamaican person, but they are Hispanic.

00:03:27.300 It's just...

00:03:27.760 You don't know what's going on.

00:03:30.060 You...

00:03:30.420 I mean, you almost need an attorney

00:03:31.800 even just to introduce yourself.

00:03:34.000 I mean, you need like a...

00:03:35.420 Not an attorney, like a word attorney.

00:03:37.620 A translator.

00:03:40.580 You almost need a translator just to meet people.

00:03:42.880 Because I don't know...

00:03:43.340 I did not know what was going on.

00:03:45.960 But we did it down there in Jacksonville.

00:03:48.620 And it's basically like...

00:03:49.360 It's kind of like the Sacramento of Florida.

00:03:53.780 Because Florida is a wild place.

00:03:56.980 First of all, you have like...

00:03:58.720 You know, you have a lot of money down at the bottom of Florida

00:04:01.700 and along the coast.

00:04:03.180 You know, you got a lot of good old boys.

00:04:04.940 And a lot of black community or African-American.

00:04:12.560 You might have...

00:04:13.120 And you also have a lot of African-American.

00:04:15.240 I mean, you have like American black

00:04:16.540 and you also have African-American,

00:04:19.160 like people that are straight up from Africa.

00:04:22.260 You also have a lot of, you know, Jamaica.

00:04:24.500 I mean, you got the...

00:04:25.000 I mean, it's just a damn buffet.

00:04:26.280 And that's what you get over there.

00:04:29.440 And we were in Jacksonville

00:04:30.680 and I was performing at the comedy club.

00:04:32.920 And at first I walked in, man.

00:04:34.760 And, you know, I had some...

00:04:35.880 You know, not...

00:04:36.720 I didn't have any prejudices.

00:04:37.860 I had...

00:04:38.840 Just against the place,

00:04:40.080 it was like a huge comedy club.

00:04:42.000 This comedy club, it was like they...

00:04:45.040 It was almost like in a gymnasium.

00:04:47.820 But they had made a comedy club in there.

00:04:50.040 So it's huge.

00:04:52.140 You know, you could...

00:04:53.860 I mean, your friend could go to the bathroom.

00:04:56.280 Never come back.

00:04:57.960 You never see your friend again.

00:04:59.160 You never hear from them.

00:05:00.580 Maybe like a couple years later,

00:05:01.880 you get invited to their wedding.

00:05:03.560 Like that kind of shit.

00:05:04.420 Like, I mean, the comedy club

00:05:05.680 was probably 30,000 square feet.

00:05:09.520 So you got to...

00:05:10.260 Like, I remember when I walked in,

00:05:11.340 I was like, what the fuck, son?

00:05:14.680 This has...

00:05:15.480 It's wild.

00:05:16.760 And my boy Dean down there runs it.

00:05:19.340 And Dean used to play football down there.

00:05:22.540 And now he runs his business.

00:05:23.920 And he...

00:05:24.400 Man, we had a blast.

00:05:26.140 You know, and it just had...

00:05:26.920 It also had like this kind of black business vibe.

00:05:30.200 And you...

00:05:30.680 If you want to say that I mean that in a racist way,

00:05:32.580 then you can say that.

00:05:33.820 But I grew up in an environment

00:05:35.260 where you had black businesses.

00:05:37.280 And a black business, man,

00:05:38.540 they got everything...

00:05:39.260 Anything could happen in a black business.

00:05:41.680 You know, you walk the show.

00:05:43.460 You know, the show's supposed to start at 10.30.

00:05:45.420 It's going to start at 11.

00:05:47.160 That we're going to have a fashion show right before.

00:05:49.380 You know what I'm saying?

00:05:49.780 Like, just a surprise, motherfucker.

00:05:51.480 We're having a chilly cook-off.

00:05:53.820 You're like, what?

00:05:55.820 It's 1.15 in the morning.

00:05:58.360 And then they got a couple of bad bitches up there

00:06:00.860 with bathtubs full of beans and meat.

00:06:04.740 And it's just that kind of vibe, man.

00:06:06.640 You don't...

00:06:07.080 You just don't know what's going to happen sometimes.

00:06:09.700 Like, they could raffle off a Buick

00:06:11.680 in the middle of the show

00:06:12.800 and you wouldn't even be shocked.

00:06:14.780 So it just kind of has that wild vibe, you know.

00:06:20.340 But it was awesome to see, man.

00:06:22.080 But at first, you know, I was just...

00:06:24.080 I guess I was humbled a little

00:06:25.520 because I get used to being

00:06:26.460 in maybe like sometimes fancier clubs.

00:06:29.220 And you don't realize that you...

00:06:31.280 You don't realize that you need to be humbled

00:06:33.820 until you are humbled.

00:06:36.100 You know, and I'm so grateful for that kind of stuff

00:06:38.140 because the last thing I want to get infected by

00:06:40.640 is my ego.

00:06:43.660 Because that...

00:06:45.100 My ego will be the death of me.

00:06:48.000 And it will be the death of my joy.

00:06:50.360 But man, we were in there.

00:06:52.340 And dude, they had this guy.

00:06:54.620 So the MC is this guy, Antoine.

00:06:57.960 And I don't know if I've ever been around

00:06:59.740 a guy that was more entertaining to be around.

00:07:04.080 So he...

00:07:05.100 You know, he's a black gentleman.

00:07:06.180 And he starts telling me

00:07:09.560 that his favorite television...

00:07:12.040 That he's been watching 90210 reruns.

00:07:15.680 And man, for some reason, that just...

00:07:19.100 I mean, it just...

00:07:20.300 I don't know.

00:07:21.420 It's the last thing I ever thought

00:07:23.480 to hear this dude say.

00:07:27.000 And we had...

00:07:28.340 We just had a mixed group.

00:07:30.940 It was like three black comedians,

00:07:32.720 three white comedians.

00:07:34.180 And everybody was having a blast.

00:07:38.180 Everybody was having a blast, man.

00:07:40.820 And, you know, we were sitting backstage

00:07:42.280 and people were...

00:07:43.020 Everybody was joking.

00:07:44.360 Nobody was a better jokester.

00:07:45.880 Nobody was...

00:07:47.040 You know, because somebody had only been

00:07:48.800 doing comedy for 10 months,

00:07:50.100 they weren't allowed to joke

00:07:51.160 or they weren't...

00:07:52.040 Didn't feel like they could put

00:07:53.020 their two cents in.

00:07:55.940 Everybody in the green room,

00:07:57.100 all of us had the worst haircuts.

00:07:58.480 I mean, they had this one dude.

00:08:00.860 One of the openers.

00:08:01.740 He looked like every character

00:08:02.840 from Roseanne.

00:08:04.080 All in one person.

00:08:05.240 This Russian fellow named Andre.

00:08:08.940 And we had this other dude, man.

00:08:13.700 Man, I'm still having fun.

00:08:15.160 That's how much fun I had

00:08:16.080 to have this other guy.

00:08:18.540 I can't...

00:08:19.540 What was his name?

00:08:20.540 I feel so bad right now.

00:08:22.560 But all he kept asking me,

00:08:23.900 he wanted to have these new

00:08:25.240 sex robots that are out.

00:08:26.980 And it's like a $1,700 investment,

00:08:29.060 these sex robots.

00:08:29.840 And now they got some

00:08:31.380 of the urban ones.

00:08:33.120 You know, but I'm...

00:08:33.760 One of the ones that like

00:08:34.480 a lot of rappers

00:08:35.220 and that sort of...

00:08:36.640 You know, that vibe.

00:08:38.400 That are going around

00:08:39.160 in that vibe.

00:08:41.000 You know, the big asses.

00:08:42.620 Like, all of a sudden

00:08:43.160 these robots are out here.

00:08:44.600 You know.

00:08:45.660 They got big titties

00:08:46.940 and, you know,

00:08:48.260 and these, you know,

00:08:49.780 bot-a-tat-tots.

00:08:51.080 Boy, these fucking

00:08:52.460 bot-tots, you know.

00:08:54.400 And they got these

00:08:55.180 battery-operated cooters

00:08:56.700 and everything.

00:08:57.780 And they got these

00:08:58.500 ass cheeks

00:08:59.020 and you can make them pop

00:09:00.140 and, you know,

00:09:01.720 sprout or whatever

00:09:02.620 they call it.

00:09:03.280 I don't know what they call it

00:09:03.980 whenever you shake your ass

00:09:05.740 and somebody, you know,

00:09:06.600 just...

00:09:07.440 I think it's called

00:09:07.980 sproutin'.

00:09:09.200 But they can...

00:09:10.360 All the robots

00:09:11.020 can do all this shit now.

00:09:12.960 So this dude, man,

00:09:14.480 this other comedian guy,

00:09:16.960 and I just don't remember

00:09:18.840 his name.

00:09:19.280 And he wanted me to put

00:09:22.100 a down payment, right,

00:09:24.820 on the heat

00:09:25.300 because he thought

00:09:25.740 I had some money.

00:09:28.420 He wanted me to put

00:09:29.220 a down payment

00:09:29.960 on one of these

00:09:30.800 fuck robots for him.

00:09:32.760 And, man,

00:09:33.440 to listen to him

00:09:34.420 pitch this idea to me

00:09:36.000 that, you know,

00:09:39.320 if you're going to buy

00:09:39.980 a fuck robot,

00:09:40.780 you've got to have

00:09:41.160 a brother try it out first.

00:09:43.100 And it's kind of fucked up

00:09:44.320 not to share, you know.

00:09:46.140 You know,

00:09:46.600 you don't want to be

00:09:47.120 racially insensitive

00:09:48.000 and not share your

00:09:48.960 fuck robot with a black man.

00:09:51.980 And, I mean, dude,

00:09:53.060 we were laughing so hard.

00:09:56.500 So, I don't know.

00:09:57.480 You know what?

00:09:57.920 It made me feel good.

00:09:58.680 It made me feel good

00:09:59.300 to be in an environment

00:10:00.480 because there's so much

00:10:02.660 out there these days

00:10:03.980 where, you know,

00:10:05.220 there's so much black and white

00:10:06.840 that that's the race problem

00:10:09.580 in America.

00:10:10.840 You know, because when you really,

00:10:12.120 when you look at it,

00:10:12.720 there's other races

00:10:13.560 that seem to get along okay.

00:10:15.960 You know, where we seem

00:10:16.820 to kind of evolve in

00:10:18.780 to each other some

00:10:20.340 or try to,

00:10:21.360 I feel like

00:10:22.240 if you're not trying

00:10:24.280 to do that,

00:10:25.700 it might not be happening

00:10:28.160 in your life

00:10:29.000 because it might not

00:10:29.760 even be your fault.

00:10:30.520 But if you're not trying,

00:10:32.200 you know,

00:10:32.620 then that's,

00:10:33.340 that's probably not

00:10:34.740 super solid.

00:10:36.500 But I feel like,

00:10:37.440 you know,

00:10:37.960 but black and white

00:10:38.920 seems to be that big issue.

00:10:40.780 Black and white.

00:10:41.680 And so it was just,

00:10:43.300 it was nice to not be

00:10:45.140 on the computer

00:10:46.440 or not be on social media

00:10:48.460 or on Twitter,

00:10:49.560 which has turned into

00:10:50.460 just a bunch of people

00:10:53.120 just trying to fuck farts.

00:10:55.140 I mean,

00:10:55.500 it is just a fart fuck on there.

00:10:57.360 And I'm sorry to use

00:10:58.240 that kind of language.

00:10:59.320 And I really am.

00:11:01.320 You know,

00:11:01.540 but it is,

00:11:02.500 I mean,

00:11:03.140 there's some people

00:11:04.040 still having a good time

00:11:04.920 on Twitter

00:11:05.280 and then there's just

00:11:05.780 a bunch of furious people

00:11:07.100 about politics

00:11:09.160 and just a bunch

00:11:10.260 of fucking Muppets

00:11:11.320 out there.

00:11:12.060 A bunch of button Muppets.

00:11:14.500 But it was nice

00:11:15.840 to be in a real environment

00:11:16.900 with regular people

00:11:18.080 talking about stuff

00:11:19.380 and just having a good time.

00:11:21.520 People who were

00:11:22.180 not the same as me.

00:11:24.040 You know,

00:11:24.240 and sometimes you might think,

00:11:25.020 well,

00:11:25.240 Theo,

00:11:25.520 you talk a lot about

00:11:26.180 black and white stuff a lot.

00:11:27.300 And I guess I do

00:11:27.920 because,

00:11:28.380 you know,

00:11:28.860 it's pretty near

00:11:29.900 to my heart,

00:11:30.500 I guess.

00:11:31.420 Because I see it as

00:11:32.800 something that makes

00:11:33.800 a lot of uncomfort

00:11:34.920 in our country.

00:11:37.300 And,

00:11:37.920 and I think just

00:11:38.960 in my own heart,

00:11:39.980 you know.

00:11:42.420 You know,

00:11:42.900 because it's tough,

00:11:43.640 it was,

00:11:43.980 it was tough

00:11:44.500 growing up in an environment

00:11:45.440 where it was pretty mixed

00:11:46.440 and being a child,

00:11:48.360 you want to help people,

00:11:50.220 you know,

00:11:50.520 or wanting to help people

00:11:51.500 that have less than you

00:11:52.560 or it feels like

00:11:53.400 they have less than you

00:11:54.360 or,

00:11:55.660 you know,

00:11:56.140 and then getting

00:11:56.560 to adulthood

00:11:57.260 and being made

00:11:59.640 to feel

00:12:00.220 like you're not

00:12:01.480 a good person

00:12:02.140 because you're white,

00:12:04.640 you know,

00:12:05.060 in most of your life

00:12:05.660 you feel like

00:12:06.060 you've tried to make

00:12:06.980 every effort

00:12:08.540 not to be white

00:12:09.660 but to be

00:12:10.520 a person.

00:12:14.280 So yeah,

00:12:14.940 so man,

00:12:15.240 we had so much fun

00:12:16.580 that it just,

00:12:19.260 it melt.

00:12:20.540 By the end,

00:12:21.080 man,

00:12:21.220 I was having a blast.

00:12:22.520 By the end,

00:12:23.000 I was doing comedy

00:12:23.780 in a warehouse.

00:12:25.780 Dude,

00:12:25.920 you should have seen

00:12:26.340 the sign out

00:12:26.860 so I wasn't even lit up.

00:12:28.860 There was a picture

00:12:29.580 of it on my Instagram,

00:12:30.600 not a picture

00:12:31.240 but on the video.

00:12:32.840 Dude,

00:12:33.040 the sign,

00:12:33.420 like people,

00:12:34.860 they said two weeks ago

00:12:36.440 a homeless dude

00:12:37.120 rolled into the club,

00:12:38.300 right?

00:12:40.120 He rolled into,

00:12:41.060 you know,

00:12:41.340 the children's clothing

00:12:42.160 or the automotive section

00:12:43.360 or wherever he came

00:12:44.160 into this.

00:12:44.780 I mean,

00:12:45.060 dude,

00:12:45.240 this place is a warehouse

00:12:46.640 and then they have

00:12:48.860 like a little stage

00:12:49.640 against one wall

00:12:50.580 and then there's

00:12:51.080 a ton of tables

00:12:51.920 and you can hear

00:12:52.960 everything.

00:12:54.380 Dude,

00:12:54.800 if somebody has

00:12:55.480 a bad idea

00:12:56.540 200 feet away from you,

00:12:58.660 you can hear it

00:12:59.220 go off in their head.

00:13:00.840 I mean,

00:13:01.080 the acoustics

00:13:01.700 were just not good

00:13:02.520 but we had a blast

00:13:05.620 you know

00:13:06.980 and we had so much fun

00:13:08.060 backstage

00:13:08.480 that we couldn't help

00:13:09.700 but have fun on stage

00:13:10.960 and when I go back

00:13:12.640 and do Florida again,

00:13:14.120 I'm going to have

00:13:14.400 some of those same guys

00:13:15.840 come and work with me again

00:13:18.680 because I just had

00:13:19.540 so much fun

00:13:20.220 and it was nice

00:13:21.080 to be in an environment

00:13:22.000 you know,

00:13:22.900 when you hear

00:13:23.400 all of this stuff

00:13:24.100 oh,

00:13:24.580 you know,

00:13:25.140 race relations are so bad

00:13:26.660 and people are,

00:13:27.360 you know,

00:13:27.880 and fuck this

00:13:28.540 and no equality

00:13:29.980 and this and that

00:13:30.660 and then you get

00:13:31.400 into a place

00:13:32.320 where we all

00:13:33.640 had one common goal

00:13:34.460 to make some people

00:13:35.040 feel some laughter

00:13:35.840 and have fun

00:13:36.640 and well,

00:13:38.020 one dude's goal

00:13:38.600 was to try to get

00:13:39.400 you know,

00:13:40.260 me to put $1,700

00:13:41.060 down on a robot

00:13:42.200 he's going to fuck

00:13:43.240 in Florida

00:13:43.900 you know,

00:13:45.680 it was almost like

00:13:46.220 back to that Debo thing

00:13:47.560 you know,

00:13:47.880 with like,

00:13:48.360 it'll be Bofar's

00:13:49.780 but I'll just keep it

00:13:50.400 at my house

00:13:51.380 you know,

00:13:52.340 with Debo

00:13:52.700 trying to steal

00:13:53.260 that boy's bike

00:13:54.000 on Friday

00:13:54.580 but it was,

00:13:57.460 man,

00:13:57.840 we had a blast

00:13:58.540 we had a blast

00:14:00.300 dude

00:14:00.520 in Jacksonville

00:14:01.160 is,

00:14:02.100 I mean,

00:14:02.540 it's,

00:14:02.740 you want to go

00:14:03.120 to a place

00:14:03.460 that's diverse

00:14:04.040 and you don't even

00:14:04.720 know what's going on

00:14:05.900 and look,

00:14:06.800 man,

00:14:06.920 people have,

00:14:07.540 shirts are optional

00:14:09.140 you see people

00:14:11.200 walking across the street

00:14:12.140 maybe a shirt

00:14:12.900 maybe not

00:14:13.600 I mean,

00:14:15.180 a dude will come

00:14:15.700 walking out

00:14:16.380 of a restaurant

00:14:17.240 no shirt

00:14:18.380 with a dog

00:14:18.960 in his arms

00:14:19.580 and I'm not talking

00:14:21.100 about a guy

00:14:21.500 that works

00:14:21.820 for the SP,

00:14:22.900 you know,

00:14:23.160 the Pet Rescue

00:14:24.600 I'm talking

00:14:25.420 about just

00:14:25.740 a regular dude

00:14:26.840 a regular playboy

00:14:28.940 trying to get a snack

00:14:29.960 you know

00:14:30.460 and man,

00:14:32.680 they were so excited

00:14:33.940 about the Jaguars

00:14:35.120 about the Jacksonville Jaguars

00:14:37.180 playing that game

00:14:38.060 and I think that team

00:14:39.200 played its heart out

00:14:39.920 and I think that

00:14:40.400 they'll be in the AFC Championship

00:14:41.600 for the next couple years

00:14:42.680 they have a really good chance

00:14:43.960 but man,

00:14:46.360 we had so much fun

00:14:47.260 you know,

00:14:48.180 I had a good time

00:14:48.900 and I went in there

00:14:50.000 a little bit,

00:14:50.620 you know,

00:14:51.420 I guess because it reminded me

00:14:53.260 sorry,

00:14:54.240 oh,

00:14:54.440 somebody just pledged

00:14:55.140 on Patreon

00:14:55.640 and I appreciate that

00:14:56.800 I want to thank

00:14:57.200 the Patreon supporters

00:14:58.160 this week

00:14:59.080 we got that new camera

00:14:59.940 coming in

00:15:00.500 so we're going to be

00:15:01.900 getting some new levels

00:15:02.840 I can't thank you

00:15:05.080 enough really

00:15:05.720 but I want to,

00:15:07.900 yes,

00:15:08.320 so,

00:15:09.040 but man,

00:15:10.300 we just had a good time

00:15:11.440 and we did it,

00:15:12.500 you know,

00:15:12.680 and we got the shows done

00:15:13.840 and it was,

00:15:14.960 the audiences were mixed

00:15:16.020 and everybody was laughing

00:15:17.060 you know,

00:15:18.480 we were laughing man

00:15:19.560 and it just,

00:15:21.640 dude,

00:15:22.260 it was ridiculous

00:15:23.220 but you see a dude man

00:15:24.780 they have people in wheelchairs

00:15:26.580 people in high chairs

00:15:27.940 people on crutches

00:15:29.300 people on stilts

00:15:30.480 Jacksonville,

00:15:31.720 you don't even know

00:15:32.280 they had one dude

00:15:33.880 had a,

00:15:35.520 he said he got some new bracelets

00:15:36.760 he was in shackles

00:15:38.840 this dude was obviously

00:15:40.380 at escape from prison

00:15:41.320 he said he got these new bracelets

00:15:43.140 like dude,

00:15:44.760 nobody's believing that shit

00:15:46.300 but why don't you sit

00:15:47.640 sit right up here

00:15:48.540 by the front of the stage

00:15:49.500 so we can keep an eye on you

00:15:51.260 cat daddy

00:15:51.880 but they had neck tats

00:15:54.540 oh,

00:15:56.620 a lot of beautiful neck artwork

00:15:58.100 you know,

00:15:59.040 nothing to make you

00:15:59.540 really appreciate artwork

00:16:00.480 like that,

00:16:01.280 like an aorta

00:16:02.120 running right behind it

00:16:03.280 and the fans

00:16:06.340 that came out

00:16:06.980 you know,

00:16:07.880 I had a special moment

00:16:09.920 this group had come out

00:16:10.920 a while back

00:16:11.540 this man

00:16:12.060 I think his name was Nolan

00:16:13.220 and his wife

00:16:14.420 had come out a while back

00:16:15.320 and they were pregnant

00:16:16.160 and

00:16:17.260 and then they came

00:16:19.140 this time

00:16:19.820 and he's like

00:16:20.820 do you notice anything different

00:16:21.900 and I remembered

00:16:22.720 I remembered them

00:16:24.520 but he's like

00:16:26.660 do you notice anything different

00:16:27.520 and he's like

00:16:27.920 kind of pointing at his wife

00:16:28.960 and I'm like

00:16:29.600 you know,

00:16:30.720 and the pervert in me

00:16:31.640 jumps to the front of my head

00:16:32.840 and I'm like,

00:16:33.380 you know,

00:16:34.640 you know,

00:16:35.040 I'm thinking she got,

00:16:36.000 you know,

00:16:36.700 jumped up a couple of cup sizes

00:16:38.340 or something

00:16:38.740 I don't know

00:16:39.600 and I'm trying not to look

00:16:40.760 at his wife

00:16:41.140 and we're right there

00:16:41.840 and then he showed me

00:16:43.060 the picture,

00:16:43.660 you know,

00:16:43.820 the last time

00:16:44.360 they had had a baby

00:16:45.580 or were pregnant

00:16:46.920 and then this time

00:16:48.000 they'd had a baby

00:16:48.720 and just,

00:16:49.900 you know,

00:16:50.420 it was just cool man

00:16:51.060 and they had come back out

00:16:51.980 in like a special moment

00:16:52.840 and their life had gone on

00:16:54.180 and it just made,

00:16:56.120 I don't know,

00:16:58.680 it made me feel good

00:16:59.860 to like,

00:17:01.900 you know,

00:17:02.200 I was like a little bit

00:17:02.900 a part of their life

00:17:03.740 and they were a little bit

00:17:05.060 a part of mine,

00:17:06.720 you know,

00:17:07.520 and last time

00:17:08.040 they'd seen me

00:17:08.660 maybe I didn't

00:17:09.520 have as bad

00:17:10.900 as a haircut,

00:17:11.840 you know,

00:17:12.780 and last time

00:17:13.720 I'd seen them

00:17:14.300 they didn't have a,

00:17:14.900 you know,

00:17:15.100 a new baby

00:17:15.960 in their life

00:17:16.600 and next thing you know,

00:17:17.440 bam,

00:17:18.240 here we are again

00:17:19.300 and they cared enough

00:17:21.000 to bring it up

00:17:21.620 to show me,

00:17:22.380 you know,

00:17:22.960 because that was the difference

00:17:23.960 that last time

00:17:24.520 his wife had this bump,

00:17:26.080 you know,

00:17:26.260 she had that gestation rocking,

00:17:28.660 you know,

00:17:28.940 she's rocking those mesters,

00:17:30.280 man,

00:17:30.440 those trimesters,

00:17:31.700 you know,

00:17:32.600 because you catch

00:17:33.060 a strong hit of seed,

00:17:34.240 ladies,

00:17:34.540 and you start egging it up

00:17:36.640 and next thing you know,

00:17:38.200 you're with child

00:17:38.920 and so,

00:17:40.980 it was just cool man,

00:17:42.080 it was nice

00:17:42.540 that then they took,

00:17:43.380 they took a special moment

00:17:44.580 to come,

00:17:45.140 to obviously get a sitter

00:17:46.200 or to have one,

00:17:47.500 you know,

00:17:47.720 a parent or a step parent

00:17:48.960 to watch the baby

00:17:49.880 and they came out

00:17:50.960 to my show

00:17:51.640 to spend some time

00:17:52.600 with me

00:17:53.040 and then cared enough

00:17:54.360 to show me that,

00:17:55.000 you know,

00:17:55.200 say hey look,

00:17:55.720 this is what was going on

00:17:56.440 in my life last time

00:17:57.140 I saw you

00:17:57.780 and then here we are again

00:18:01.320 and it was cool man,

00:18:04.000 they had a guy

00:18:04.600 who was tweeting with me

00:18:06.760 or DMing me

00:18:07.660 before the show

00:18:08.220 saying he was nervous

00:18:09.020 to meet me

00:18:10.000 and that made me feel,

00:18:14.160 I said well dude,

00:18:15.240 I'm fucking,

00:18:16.740 I said well now

00:18:17.860 I'm nervous to meet you,

00:18:20.020 you know,

00:18:20.420 because now you,

00:18:21.400 you know,

00:18:21.840 like,

00:18:23.200 now fuck,

00:18:24.000 I feel like I'm

00:18:24.560 on a blind date,

00:18:25.440 but yeah man,

00:18:29.220 a lot of special people

00:18:30.200 came out,

00:18:31.840 you know,

00:18:32.140 it was fun man,

00:18:32.920 a lot of people

00:18:33.540 that came out

00:18:34.020 that were fans

00:18:34.580 of this podcast

00:18:35.100 that were listeners

00:18:35.700 of this thing,

00:18:37.980 you know,

00:18:38.360 that we're doing

00:18:38.940 and it was,

00:18:40.080 trying to think of

00:18:40.680 who else came out

00:18:41.340 that was special man,

00:18:42.240 they had a young fella

00:18:42.940 drove in with his mother

00:18:44.100 and that was nice to see,

00:18:46.280 you know,

00:18:47.020 because I've never been to a,

00:18:48.400 I mean I've been to my mother's

00:18:49.380 kind of my own comedy show before

00:18:50.880 but just to go do something

00:18:52.140 with my mother,

00:18:53.060 nah,

00:18:54.080 we hadn't really done that yet,

00:18:55.680 you know,

00:18:56.180 but anyhow,

00:18:57.340 it was fun man,

00:18:59.080 so thank you Jacksonville

00:19:00.120 for having me

00:19:01.000 and I will be back

00:19:03.200 and I just had a blast,

00:19:05.400 I had a blast just being,

00:19:08.000 you know,

00:19:08.460 just a worker among workers

00:19:09.940 and I got to this club man,

00:19:11.860 you can't have a big ego

00:19:12.860 in a club like this

00:19:14.260 because we need all hands on deck

00:19:16.080 in that kind of a place,

00:19:18.220 you know,

00:19:18.500 and you need,

00:19:18.940 everybody needs to show up

00:19:19.680 with a good attitude

00:19:20.400 and that's what gets it going

00:19:21.940 because if you told me right now,

00:19:24.540 okay,

00:19:24.920 we're going to hollow out

00:19:25.960 this Walmart

00:19:26.560 and put a small comedy club

00:19:28.820 in one corner of it,

00:19:31.220 I'd have been like,

00:19:32.320 that's a horrible idea

00:19:33.240 but if you told me today

00:19:35.160 that we couldn't do that,

00:19:36.440 I'd say,

00:19:37.000 well,

00:19:37.340 we just did it this weekend

00:19:39.600 and we had a blast

00:19:40.660 so thank you guys

00:19:42.540 for coming out to that show,

00:19:44.680 I watched that Cormier fight,

00:19:47.840 that Cormier and Odesmere,

00:19:50.260 Odes,

00:19:50.880 Odes,

00:19:51.800 I think it's Odesmere

00:19:52.800 and I don't know if you know

00:19:54.380 about this Daniel Cormier

00:19:55.560 but he's a Louisiana guy

00:19:57.080 and at first you think

00:19:58.240 he's a chef,

00:19:59.580 oh,

00:19:59.840 Daniel Cormier,

00:20:00.840 he makes those,

00:20:02.560 he makes those expensive TV dinners,

00:20:05.860 no,

00:20:07.040 Daniel Cormier is a cage fighter,

00:20:09.140 prize fighter

00:20:09.980 and he was out there

00:20:12.200 and he's a national champion,

00:20:13.940 he has one of the title belts

00:20:15.240 and he's out there

00:20:16.040 and I don't know

00:20:17.180 if you've seen his body,

00:20:18.200 I mean this guy,

00:20:19.740 you can't tell from watching

00:20:21.360 if he's six foot four

00:20:22.980 or five foot one,

00:20:25.740 he has like a very unique body style,

00:20:28.840 like,

00:20:29.360 I mean like the thigh bones

00:20:30.540 connected to the neck bone,

00:20:32.320 you know,

00:20:32.660 you're like,

00:20:33.580 what,

00:20:35.100 like he almost looks,

00:20:37.140 just looks like a,

00:20:38.420 like a,

00:20:39.360 he looks like a really strong caramel

00:20:42.420 that somebody taught to fight

00:20:43.660 and he's out there

00:20:46.420 and he kind of fights with both arms,

00:20:48.340 like he just has this,

00:20:50.420 it's almost like he's,

00:20:51.920 it's a bit of a dance in a way

00:20:53.740 and look,

00:20:54.720 I'm not,

00:20:55.660 this man would beat my ass,

00:20:57.500 this man would,

00:20:58.980 this man would finish me off

00:21:01.700 like a drumette,

00:21:04.360 you know,

00:21:04.640 this man would suck me down

00:21:05.860 like a meat drumette

00:21:07.040 but he was out there,

00:21:08.580 Daniel Cormier

00:21:09.220 and he's,

00:21:09.920 and he kind of,

00:21:11.440 he kind of,

00:21:12.220 he'll like punch with both of his arms

00:21:14.020 at the same time

00:21:14.940 so it's almost like this,

00:21:15.960 this wave of aggression

00:21:18.200 that was coming at Odesemir

00:21:20.060 and Odesemir is a,

00:21:22.940 I mean this guy,

00:21:23.980 he could have been nine,

00:21:24.760 he could have been,

00:21:25.280 he could have been 11 feet tall dude,

00:21:27.700 I don't know what ratio

00:21:29.160 I had my screen on,

00:21:30.680 it might have been 16 by nine

00:21:32.040 or something

00:21:32.340 so I don't know

00:21:32.960 but Odesemir looked like a damn,

00:21:34.840 he looked like the,

00:21:35.520 the youngest son of a polar bear,

00:21:39.460 he looked like a lean polar bear

00:21:40.940 like somebody just beat,

00:21:42.280 just like some,

00:21:42.860 like a polar bear

00:21:43.480 that's worked out so hard

00:21:44.500 all his fur fell off

00:21:45.640 and he just got real lean

00:21:47.320 and he had the long legs,

00:21:49.880 white legs,

00:21:51.220 just like damn,

00:21:52.020 you know like you don't even,

00:21:53.200 and he got that name,

00:21:54.080 Odesemir,

00:21:54.940 let me see what it's,

00:21:55.600 how it even,

00:21:56.800 Ozdemir,

00:21:58.900 Ozdemir,

00:22:00.020 Ozdemir,

00:22:00.660 so dude,

00:22:01.920 and you're sitting there

00:22:02.500 trying to figure out his name,

00:22:03.520 you're trying to buy a vowel

00:22:04.500 and then damn,

00:22:05.420 he hits you,

00:22:06.240 his arms,

00:22:07.400 one of his arms

00:22:08.060 looked like it was probably

00:22:08.740 four and a half feet long

00:22:09.740 and he just hits you

00:22:11.280 with one of those polar pops,

00:22:12.860 just pat out,

00:22:13.900 you know,

00:22:15.660 he just hits you

00:22:16.280 with that polar pop

00:22:17.240 and next thing you know,

00:22:18.520 you ice cold,

00:22:20.420 next thing you know,

00:22:21.340 you waking up

00:22:21.940 in the frozen food section

00:22:23.280 out there

00:22:24.660 and out east of the city

00:22:26.060 and you're ringing the bell

00:22:27.820 for help

00:22:28.300 over at the bakery section

00:22:29.420 because nobody's

00:22:30.380 paying attention

00:22:30.920 to anything in the grocery store

00:22:32.360 and it's late night hours

00:22:33.340 and you just got polar popped

00:22:35.280 by Mr. Odesemir

00:22:36.380 and you woke up out there

00:22:37.380 in the frozen food section

00:22:38.780 but Cormier,

00:22:42.240 you know,

00:22:43.240 you could see how,

00:22:45.300 I mean that first round

00:22:46.520 and when you looked at him

00:22:50.000 the confidence that Cormier moves with

00:22:52.420 is what got me

00:22:53.220 and look,

00:22:54.240 I don't know a ton about fighting,

00:22:55.700 I don't claim to know,

00:22:56.780 I used to not even like

00:22:57.460 to watch these fights,

00:22:59.000 watching them made me feel

00:23:00.160 a little bit scared,

00:23:02.580 like that's how much

00:23:03.380 of a puss I am sometimes

00:23:04.740 when it comes to,

00:23:05.520 you know,

00:23:06.420 being out in these streets

00:23:07.680 is watching a real tough fight,

00:23:11.480 I mean I would put on knee pads

00:23:12.840 or something

00:23:13.120 even if I was just watching

00:23:13.940 at the house,

00:23:15.480 you know,

00:23:15.900 I'd check my PPO

00:23:16.940 if I was even just watching

00:23:17.900 at the house

00:23:18.500 but you had Cormier out there

00:23:20.520 and they're,

00:23:21.260 you know,

00:23:21.520 like,

00:23:22.460 and at first,

00:23:23.100 the first like two minutes,

00:23:24.280 three minutes,

00:23:24.620 it was all punches,

00:23:25.480 I mean and I loved it,

00:23:26.620 it was like watching two men

00:23:27.900 that could do other stuff

00:23:29.100 choosing to punch,

00:23:31.520 choosing to box,

00:23:33.440 I mean it looked like

00:23:34.380 gladiator style stuff,

00:23:36.620 you know,

00:23:36.860 a couple of light,

00:23:37.780 some,

00:23:38.200 you know,

00:23:38.580 a couple of like placement kicks

00:23:40.060 and trying to keep each other

00:23:41.000 this way and that way,

00:23:42.880 you know,

00:23:43.120 look like a little bit of

00:23:43.780 Polish dancing here and there

00:23:45.240 but a lot of punches

00:23:46.660 being thrown

00:23:47.240 and I mean just man shit

00:23:49.880 where you standing up there

00:23:51.760 and still punching

00:23:52.720 even though you're getting punched

00:23:54.100 and then they went down

00:23:56.820 to the ground

00:23:57.360 and I thought it was

00:23:57.780 going to be over

00:23:58.340 because Odesmere,

00:24:00.820 one of his legs

00:24:01.500 just popped straight out

00:24:02.800 like a white flag,

00:24:03.900 I thought he was trying

00:24:04.440 to surrender with his foot

00:24:05.600 and I thought he was trying

00:24:07.120 to wave that foot out there

00:24:08.160 and then the bell

00:24:09.240 saved the gentleman

00:24:10.020 and so they came back out

00:24:12.060 for that second,

00:24:12.840 that second start,

00:24:14.320 that second round

00:24:15.140 and it was almost

00:24:16.880 like that first round

00:24:17.620 and it was like somebody

00:24:18.620 pressed fast forward

00:24:19.240 on the first round

00:24:19.860 and before you know it,

00:24:23.040 Cormier had him

00:24:23.840 down on the ground

00:24:24.680 and just a series of punches

00:24:26.880 where you're like,

00:24:27.440 man,

00:24:28.600 it was just a,

00:24:30.080 I mean,

00:24:31.480 I almost liken Cormier

00:24:33.140 to like,

00:24:33.500 I don't know if you ever

00:24:33.900 heard that story

00:24:34.340 of John Henry

00:24:35.080 the steel driving man

00:24:36.360 but it was a long time ago

00:24:37.920 they have this,

00:24:39.120 you know,

00:24:39.660 they have this old story,

00:24:42.220 I'm going to look it up

00:24:43.020 right now,

00:24:44.200 it was when,

00:24:45.220 it was a long time ago,

00:24:48.600 it's a folk hero

00:24:50.420 and he worked

00:24:51.380 as a steel driving man,

00:24:52.600 his name was John Henry

00:24:53.600 and he was the best,

00:24:56.180 if you put that man

00:24:57.080 in the cave

00:24:57.800 with the hammer,

00:24:59.140 he was the best

00:24:59.860 and he would just

00:25:02.240 beat up the rock

00:25:03.140 and he would get

00:25:03.720 all through the rock

00:25:04.540 and do whatever

00:25:05.000 he had to do

00:25:05.660 and then one day

00:25:07.120 they came along

00:25:07.620 with a machine

00:25:08.280 and they said,

00:25:10.120 well,

00:25:10.380 this machine

00:25:10.880 can do this job,

00:25:11.720 we don't need you

00:25:12.140 to work anymore,

00:25:12.820 John Henry

00:25:13.300 and John Henry said,

00:25:14.400 I can beat that machine,

00:25:16.220 and I don't remember

00:25:17.320 if he beats the machine

00:25:18.220 or not

00:25:18.680 but I know he dies trying

00:25:20.620 and that's what

00:25:23.340 reminded me of Cormier,

00:25:24.180 man,

00:25:24.300 he just started putting

00:25:25.280 this kind of punch,

00:25:27.560 this,

00:25:27.960 and it was a slow,

00:25:29.060 organized,

00:25:29.820 systematic punch,

00:25:31.580 it was like,

00:25:32.600 it was like

00:25:33.700 when you are knocking,

00:25:35.640 say your girlfriend's

00:25:36.580 cheating on you

00:25:37.240 and you know

00:25:37.960 she's in there

00:25:38.460 with a man

00:25:39.000 and you already took

00:25:42.300 a few deep breaths

00:25:43.040 in the car

00:25:43.540 because you're not

00:25:44.040 really into her anymore

00:25:45.060 you're past her

00:25:46.180 but you're still

00:25:46.940 going to go in there

00:25:47.780 and deal with that man

00:25:49.060 so you take

00:25:50.760 a few deep breaths

00:25:51.580 maybe do some

00:25:52.060 light meditation

00:25:52.820 maybe get the

00:25:54.080 Headspace app

00:25:54.880 or something

00:25:55.380 and use that

00:25:56.660 for a minute

00:25:57.100 before you head up

00:25:57.900 to the door

00:25:58.440 and you're going

00:25:59.040 to knock on that door

00:26:00.100 and you knock

00:26:01.480 and you knock on that door

00:26:02.460 just

00:26:03.760 because that knock

00:26:07.920 is going to resonate

00:26:08.520 different with your

00:26:09.240 old lady

00:26:09.700 and that man

00:26:10.260 back there

00:26:10.640 plugging at each

00:26:11.340 other's parts

00:26:12.020 you know

00:26:13.160 hiding cock

00:26:14.040 inside of your

00:26:14.740 wife or whatever

00:26:16.320 if he's doing

00:26:16.880 you know

00:26:18.020 back there

00:26:18.740 freaking cock

00:26:19.420 hiding

00:26:19.780 because a bang

00:26:22.260 bang bang

00:26:22.660 that's erratic

00:26:23.400 they're going to

00:26:24.060 jump up

00:26:24.740 you know

00:26:24.980 somebody might

00:26:25.380 try to get

00:26:25.740 out a window

00:26:26.520 somebody might

00:26:28.100 try to hide

00:26:28.640 under a pile

00:26:29.060 of dirty clothes

00:26:29.660 dude

00:26:29.760 I did that

00:26:30.200 one time

00:26:30.740 try to hide

00:26:31.840 under a pile

00:26:32.300 of dirty clothes

00:26:33.180 dude

00:26:33.540 oh

00:26:35.000 first of all

00:26:36.660 I think some

00:26:38.400 of the clothes

00:26:38.780 was like a baby's

00:26:39.720 dirty blanket

00:26:40.580 or something

00:26:40.960 you ever had a man

00:26:41.960 beat your ass

00:26:42.760 in a pile

00:26:43.040 of dirty clothes

00:26:43.860 then you haven't

00:26:45.640 really really

00:26:46.240 lived probably

00:26:46.980 and that happened

00:26:48.460 that actually happened

00:26:49.300 over near Tallahassee

00:26:50.240 in Florida

00:26:50.620 that was a long

00:26:51.320 time ago

00:26:51.880 but I've had my ass

00:26:53.260 beat in a pile

00:26:53.740 of dirty clothes

00:26:54.440 man and you

00:26:55.140 and that will

00:26:56.100 humble you

00:26:56.700 that will

00:26:58.080 humble you

00:26:58.520 right there

00:26:58.940 boy

00:26:59.140 when a fucking

00:26:59.700 when a big boy

00:27:01.000 puts you on

00:27:01.460 a fucking

00:27:01.820 you know

00:27:03.300 introduces you

00:27:04.000 to that

00:27:04.220 two arm spin

00:27:05.000 cycle

00:27:05.440 and suddenly

00:27:07.140 you know

00:27:07.440 he's beating

00:27:08.700 the dirt off

00:27:09.280 y'all

00:27:09.620 he's beating

00:27:11.000 the dirt off

00:27:11.580 y'all man

00:27:12.080 he's doing

00:27:12.380 that laundry

00:27:12.980 on you

00:27:13.460 but that's

00:27:15.520 how this was

00:27:16.060 it was almost

00:27:16.640 like going up

00:27:17.520 to the door

00:27:17.960 of your ex

00:27:18.540 when you know

00:27:18.980 she's in there

00:27:19.560 or your girl

00:27:20.080 you know

00:27:20.600 she's in there

00:27:21.020 with a man

00:27:21.520 and just that

00:27:22.360 slow knock

00:27:23.420 because you know

00:27:25.340 that you're

00:27:26.000 going to be

00:27:26.280 you are in

00:27:27.300 control of

00:27:28.020 this situation

00:27:28.800 you know

00:27:30.320 you're going

00:27:30.640 to get in

00:27:31.040 there

00:27:31.180 you're going

00:27:31.440 to whoop

00:27:31.800 some ass

00:27:32.420 you're not

00:27:33.840 going to do

00:27:34.120 it erratically

00:27:34.760 though because

00:27:35.080 you don't need

00:27:35.500 the relationship

00:27:36.140 anymore

00:27:36.500 you're past

00:27:37.140 it

00:27:37.440 but you're

00:27:38.220 still going

00:27:38.460 to get in

00:27:38.700 there and

00:27:38.920 beat some

00:27:39.280 ass

00:27:39.560 and that's

00:27:40.100 how Cormier

00:27:40.600 just rocked

00:27:41.380 him with

00:27:41.660 this hand

00:27:42.160 it was just

00:27:43.260 this slow

00:27:44.180 planned thing

00:27:45.600 he just knew

00:27:47.100 his execution

00:27:47.880 was it was

00:27:49.440 so efficient

00:27:50.280 and it was

00:27:52.060 it was uniquely

00:27:52.880 efficient because

00:27:53.480 he's he's

00:27:54.140 an awkwardly

00:27:54.880 built man

00:27:55.580 and I don't

00:27:56.740 say that to

00:27:57.200 judge him

00:27:57.680 I mean dude

00:27:58.120 I'm fucking

00:27:58.600 built

00:27:59.080 dude I built

00:28:01.100 like a little

00:28:01.540 bit like a

00:28:01.900 beat down

00:28:02.320 syndrome

00:28:02.700 if you catch

00:28:03.300 me

00:28:03.600 you know I

00:28:05.680 you know in

00:28:06.800 the realms

00:28:07.280 beyond when

00:28:08.140 the Lord was

00:28:08.860 forming me

00:28:09.760 I mean it

00:28:11.420 I was like a

00:28:12.800 Plinko chip and

00:28:13.600 almost went in

00:28:14.280 that could have

00:28:15.340 fallen into that

00:28:15.980 DS hole at the

00:28:16.920 bottom but

00:28:17.760 instead I got

00:28:18.560 barely regular

00:28:20.300 but but

00:28:22.600 Cormier is just

00:28:23.180 a unique guy

00:28:23.940 you know I

00:28:25.140 mean his

00:28:25.540 thumb joints

00:28:26.200 connected to

00:28:26.860 his you know

00:28:28.380 to his calf

00:28:29.340 I mean he's

00:28:30.680 just this I

00:28:32.500 mean he's just

00:28:33.080 this nasty

00:28:34.140 he's this nasty

00:28:35.940 caramel out

00:28:36.780 there that's

00:28:38.340 gonna fucking

00:28:38.960 that's gonna

00:28:40.040 stick you to

00:28:40.880 the mat

00:28:41.320 that's gonna

00:28:42.280 it's gonna gum

00:28:43.100 up your teeth

00:28:43.680 and stick you to

00:28:44.300 the mat and

00:28:45.500 I and I liked

00:28:46.040 watching them

00:28:46.460 after I liked

00:28:47.020 watching their

00:28:47.420 press conferences

00:28:48.020 after too

00:28:48.720 because you

00:28:50.420 could tell

00:28:50.700 Cormier said

00:28:51.300 you know by

00:28:52.160 40 years old

00:28:52.840 I'll be done

00:28:53.220 fighting he's

00:28:54.180 38 years old

00:28:55.060 now and look

00:28:56.060 I I when I

00:28:58.320 watch these men

00:28:58.820 fight I watched

00:28:59.400 him do something

00:28:59.860 that I could

00:29:00.260 never do I

00:29:02.400 do not have

00:29:03.300 the spinal

00:29:04.540 column or the

00:29:05.160 balls to do

00:29:05.800 that I could

00:29:07.040 fight somebody

00:29:07.560 for charity

00:29:08.200 you know I'm

00:29:09.040 saying I

00:29:09.920 could probably

00:29:10.440 beat up a

00:29:10.980 real ginger I

00:29:12.580 could probably

00:29:12.880 beat up a

00:29:13.360 real lean ginger

00:29:14.280 for charity and

00:29:15.720 I'm not talking

00:29:16.040 about ginger a

00:29:16.640 woman's name I'm

00:29:17.220 talking about a

00:29:17.560 redheaded fella

00:29:18.240 you know or

00:29:19.880 strong woman I

00:29:21.460 fight a strong

00:29:21.980 woman if they we

00:29:22.660 got the contracts

00:29:23.420 and everything and

00:29:25.120 everybody's clean on

00:29:25.920 you know all the

00:29:26.360 gender stuff but

00:29:29.800 man Cormier after he

00:29:31.800 said you know I'm

00:29:32.260 38 now and by 40 I

00:29:33.880 won't be doing this

00:29:34.860 so you could he

00:29:35.760 said you know when

00:29:36.500 you when he

00:29:37.040 prepared so much

00:29:37.900 exactly in a see his

00:29:38.940 preparation go exactly

00:29:40.660 as planned and you

00:29:42.680 believe that with him

00:29:43.640 you just believed it

00:29:44.640 you believed he knew

00:29:45.360 his plan he came in

00:29:46.940 and he just did

00:29:47.760 exactly what his

00:29:48.700 plan was and it

00:29:50.180 was gonna work or

00:29:50.980 it wasn't gonna

00:29:51.580 work but you saw a

00:29:53.320 man who was who

00:29:54.880 had been in his

00:29:55.480 craft and been in

00:29:56.320 his realm for a

00:29:57.100 long time you know

00:29:59.380 and that he knew he

00:30:01.740 wasn't gonna waste

00:30:02.260 time he needed this

00:30:03.180 opportunity he wanted

00:30:04.160 to win he wanted to

00:30:05.240 defend his title and

00:30:07.000 he wanted to get the

00:30:08.240 most out of his

00:30:08.780 career while he still

00:30:09.560 could so he'd worked

00:30:10.700 hard and planned

00:30:11.480 ahead and made the

00:30:12.100 most of his

00:30:12.480 opportunity that's what

00:30:13.680 I gathered from

00:30:14.340 listening to it

00:30:15.040 now I'm also no

00:30:16.180 expert I'm no

00:30:18.180 expert at all and

00:30:19.520 if you want to be

00:30:19.940 like Theo you are a

00:30:20.940 you're a fuck

00:30:22.400 muppet you don't

00:30:23.120 know you would

00:30:25.200 probably you'd

00:30:26.460 probably be right

00:30:27.120 but I'll say this

00:30:29.080 about Daniel

00:30:29.500 Cormier that man is

00:30:31.280 built like a damn

00:30:32.360 shiffer robe with a

00:30:33.720 bad attitude that man

00:30:36.640 is built like a like a

00:30:38.500 shiffer robe and a

00:30:39.640 fucking grizzly bear

00:30:40.620 had a had a baby and

00:30:43.340 he will and he will

00:30:44.700 just I mean I thought

00:30:45.820 he could smother

00:30:46.580 somebody I wouldn't

00:30:48.080 be he'll put he could

00:30:49.800 put two kids to sleep

00:30:50.860 just by putting one

00:30:51.560 under each arm these

00:30:53.460 children don't want to

00:30:54.120 rest fuck fuck giving

00:30:55.440 them a hit a dime a

00:30:56.260 tap or that tussin just

00:30:58.820 pop that fucking put

00:31:01.020 them on up under daddy's

00:31:02.600 chest meat and they'd be

00:31:03.460 out I mean dude I bet he

00:31:05.720 could damn he could

00:31:07.140 panini pray he could

00:31:08.080 press a sandwich dude he

00:31:09.100 could make a panini right

00:31:10.000 there up against his rib

00:31:10.880 cage with his own wing and

00:31:13.160 he seemed like that

00:31:13.660 kind of man but also

00:31:15.560 it was cool to listen to

00:31:16.300 this odesmere kid and I

00:31:18.160 say kid he's you know

00:31:19.000 probably 11 feet tall and

00:31:21.420 he's he looks at a ladder

00:31:22.560 and he's like yeah

00:31:24.260 whatever guy I'm not

00:31:26.200 taking it easy today this

00:31:27.180 man could be as he could

00:31:28.080 do his own work and he

00:31:30.540 said he was so young he

00:31:33.120 said he'd been fighting

00:31:33.760 for a year or so and

00:31:35.380 suddenly he was at the

00:31:36.220 title and he thought that

00:31:37.860 he would be back at the

00:31:38.760 title and he also seemed

00:31:41.160 he one thing that was

00:31:42.380 really interesting to me

00:31:43.060 that was cool about him

00:31:43.920 that made him seem very

00:31:44.840 human was that he said

00:31:46.980 well I'm in Boston and

00:31:48.740 tomorrow I'm gonna try to

00:31:49.640 get out and go see the

00:31:50.560 city and I thought that

00:31:52.640 that was you know I wish I

00:31:54.260 could have that kind of

00:31:55.020 attitude sometimes you know

00:31:56.980 when something rough has

00:31:57.960 happened to me or

00:31:58.560 something that didn't go

00:31:59.260 I mean this guy just had a

00:32:00.560 chance to win a belt a

00:32:02.260 gold belt I mean you

00:32:04.500 don't get a chance to win a

00:32:05.500 gold belt unless you are in

00:32:07.500 you know unless you you

00:32:10.280 know fist fighting a bitch

00:32:13.060 up there on Beverly Hills

00:32:14.060 Boulevard one of these

00:32:14.840 fancy belt shops or unless

00:32:16.720 you're in the WWE or the

00:32:18.320 UFC or unless you're in

00:32:19.940 ancient Egypt those don't

00:32:21.820 those only you don't get to

00:32:23.700 fist fight nobody for a

00:32:25.100 gold belt and and he said

00:32:29.200 you know any laws he didn't

00:32:30.460 win but he was like well I'm

00:32:33.140 here in Boston I'm gonna go

00:32:34.320 see the city tomorrow I'm

00:32:35.440 gonna put on some sunglasses

00:32:36.420 and I'm gonna go see some

00:32:37.580 of the city and I thought

00:32:38.960 that that that was pretty

00:32:39.740 cool that he was gonna take

00:32:41.260 something away because look

00:32:43.520 man one thing that I'm

00:32:44.340 slowly learning is that if

00:32:46.480 I'm gonna lose I'm gonna

00:32:48.380 learn I'm gonna learn

00:32:49.300 something I'm taking

00:32:50.840 something out of this out of

00:32:53.000 this swamp I'm taking

00:32:54.800 something out of this

00:32:55.600 swamp you know you might

00:32:57.720 get me in here and it

00:32:59.520 might be nasty and dirty I

00:33:00.840 might almost drown I might

00:33:02.340 take an L but I'm leaving

00:33:04.260 out of here with a

00:33:04.800 beautiful piece of birch

00:33:05.820 I'm gonna learn

00:33:06.880 something but that was

00:33:10.320 some cool stuff that went

00:33:11.200 on man that fight being in

00:33:13.580 Jacksonville sorry if I'm

00:33:15.120 rambling guys I got real

00:33:17.480 coffee today you know I'm

00:33:19.800 trying to stealth them

00:33:20.400 Keurig pods and I've

00:33:21.220 talked about that and I got

00:33:21.900 that real coffee coming back

00:33:23.080 in I'm excited to tell you

00:33:25.220 too that I want to thank the

00:33:27.840 Patreon supporters we got a

00:33:28.880 new website that's being put

00:33:30.500 together so we can get more

00:33:32.040 interactive here some man I'm

00:33:34.940 just grateful I'm so

00:33:35.860 grateful you know we got a

00:33:37.160 lot of cool stuff happening

00:33:38.540 yeah it's just gonna be fun

00:33:42.100 and we're gonna do some fun

00:33:43.060 stuff I got some fun dates

00:33:44.120 coming up I'll be at Harvey's

00:33:45.580 in Portland February 8th through

00:33:47.000 the 11th and those tickets are

00:33:48.720 on sale now also we're trying to

00:33:51.520 set up a video to go do we got a

00:33:55.040 hamster rancher that reached out

00:33:56.920 and you a lot of you guys know

00:33:58.680 that I grew up in the game you

00:33:59.880 know I was in you know selling

00:34:02.320 hamps G pigs out there off of

00:34:05.000 Lee Road over there in St.

00:34:07.220 Tammany Parish and and this man

00:34:12.080 does it he's caught up in that and

00:34:13.880 so we're gonna try to do a

00:34:14.880 special video where we go out and

00:34:17.220 meet this hamster rancher and see

00:34:18.940 what the life's like out there when

00:34:20.040 he out there if they still using

00:34:21.660 these big little baby bottles or you

00:34:24.120 know we had these like kind of drip

00:34:25.320 rails where we put the put some

00:34:26.880 cold milk and water all in these

00:34:28.420 drip rails and then it would just

00:34:31.600 hold the drop onto the bottom of

00:34:33.460 the rail and then the you know all

00:34:37.480 these little offspring could come

00:34:38.620 up and just drink right off the

00:34:39.840 rail that's how we used to feed

00:34:41.340 them February 16th through 18th I'll

00:34:44.700 be at La Jolla in California at the

00:34:47.140 Comedy Store La Jolla set 22nd through

00:34:50.240 the 24th I'll be an NDO at Fantasy

00:34:52.500 Springs Casino if you want to gamble

00:34:54.800 and lose your money but also still

00:34:56.220 laugh for a little bit Fantasy

00:34:57.960 Springs a fun place to do that March

00:35:00.380 15th and 16th I'll be in Tacoma at

00:35:02.780 the Comedy Club and that's in

00:35:03.980 Washington March 17th in Spokane April

00:35:07.660 6th and 7th Tampa Florida at Rock

00:35:09.920 Brothers Brewing that's two nights and

00:35:13.120 we're also getting Chicago on the books

00:35:14.860 so I'm trying to figure out where to

00:35:18.160 do that if you know a neat theater or

00:35:20.220 something in Chicago that's not too

00:35:21.680 big you know I'm saying we ain't

00:35:23.920 selling out the world you know so we

00:35:26.460 need an intimate experience so it could

00:35:28.880 be a theater or a place where they have

00:35:30.520 comedy shows that's kind of you know

00:35:32.640 medium-sized maybe seats 100 150 or to

00:35:37.720 200 maybe let me know and we'll see what

00:35:41.600 we can do trying to do something cool

00:35:43.020 there also take it if you want if you

00:35:46.200 want to email me in some trying to put

00:35:48.600 together some art for a dark arts tour

00:35:51.020 and some dark arts shirts and you know

00:35:55.380 kind of that's sort of become the vibe

00:35:57.260 you know people been reaching out about

00:35:58.340 the dark arts and trying to stay in them

00:35:59.880 and trying to stay out of them you know

00:36:02.240 and I mean I got caught up this weekend

00:36:03.740 in this motel and it was a hotel actually

00:36:07.140 but but I forgot to say hotel when I

00:36:11.220 started talking about it a second ago and

00:36:13.920 dude something about a hotel I don't know

00:36:15.800 what they if they put like a something in

00:36:18.780 the carpet that just makes you masturbate

00:36:21.700 but damn if they you know some of the

00:36:24.100 patterns in the carpet I feel like you

00:36:25.820 know you're walking down the hall and

00:36:26.880 next you know you get hypnotized by the

00:36:28.320 carpet pattern next you know you jerking

00:36:30.760 off and ordering stromboli or something

00:36:33.020 from a local Italian eatery and next thing

00:36:37.420 you know it's two days later and it's just

00:36:40.540 something about you know I do not do well

00:36:44.520 man I don't do well when I get into some

00:36:46.220 of those hotels and motels and I just get

00:36:49.060 to you know I get the depression just gets

00:36:50.940 in me and I get caught up and I just get

00:36:53.160 in a bad cycle you know my day would be a

00:36:56.280 lot better if I could just get off to that

00:36:58.620 strong start and that's where I need to

00:37:02.460 really try and do some work and I don't

00:37:05.560 know if that means investing in a trainer

00:37:07.120 you know or what it means but I gotta I gotta

00:37:10.640 do something because if I can get good when

00:37:12.400 I get going I'm going I'm going onward and I

00:37:17.320 don't do bad but I just I just need a

00:37:20.060 stronger start but when I look at my life

00:37:22.960 I've always been a late bloomer and so it

00:37:25.540 doesn't surprise me that that strikes me

00:37:27.020 often daily but those are some dates we

00:37:30.900 have coming up and and you can always go

00:37:33.160 to theovan.com slash store if you want to

00:37:35.920 grab this past weekend onward shirt or we

00:37:38.700 got some other ones on there you ain't got

00:37:41.300 the balls to grow the falls the hair is

00:37:43.080 growing out and I'm gonna get it actually

00:37:44.900 cut up and tightened up this weekend for

00:37:46.900 my boy John who's a long-distance

00:37:49.160 bicyclist non-homosexual guy and he's long

00:37:53.020 distance bicyclist and I'm gonna go over

00:37:55.400 there and uh and get caught up by him

00:37:57.540 get trimmed up and tightened up what else

00:38:03.200 man I want to get into some other things

00:38:05.040 oh I want to talk I do want to talk about

00:38:07.180 the football games I know you know it's

00:38:09.680 gonna be brief here um you know it's and

00:38:14.500 I'm sorry to those Jacksonville fans it's

00:38:16.640 tough man it's tough to see that but you

00:38:20.120 got a beautiful community over there of

00:38:22.720 you know people that were kind of brought

00:38:24.280 together you know they had a dude last

00:38:26.900 night who was supposed to be supposed to

00:38:27.920 be in a wheelchair but I guess the family

00:38:30.400 and had not then have a lot of money and

00:38:32.100 they put him in a souped-up high chair

00:38:33.740 you know like a baby's high chair but he

00:38:36.340 they had it rocked out with some you

00:38:39.580 know some fours on there some fives you

00:38:42.320 know five inch wheels and and I you know

00:38:47.360 at first I was like damn what the fuck but

00:38:50.120 then it brought me back to this is the

00:38:51.600 kind of environment that I grew up in you

00:38:54.280 know people out here my dude we had this

00:38:57.020 group by us hoovers and one of the

00:38:59.680 brothers is uh physically handicapped

00:39:03.240 and he couldn't walk or nothing you know

00:39:05.700 he wasn't doing any walking or they

00:39:07.080 never taught him how to walk maybe

00:39:08.400 because it looked like he could walk

00:39:10.600 now that I really think about it but

00:39:12.660 maybe they never taught him how to walk

00:39:13.960 because he lived in that kind of

00:39:15.640 household because there's certain levels

00:39:17.620 of poverty and certain levels of you know

00:39:20.120 trickle-down you know lack of trickle-down

00:39:25.180 economics your family you know the most

00:39:28.460 basic things are gonna be tough for you

00:39:30.360 and they had one brother and he the older

00:39:34.540 boy would just put him on his back wear

00:39:36.440 him on his back like a backpack because

00:39:39.420 the older boy was one of the strongest

00:39:42.800 kids I've ever seen you know didn't even

00:39:45.860 one of his teeth was like four teeth in

00:39:47.700 one like that kind of dude like fuck like

00:39:52.520 super strong probably didn't even probably

00:39:54.580 didn't even sleep probably stayed awake

00:39:56.820 forever until if he if he's dead then he's

00:39:58.420 gone now but probably always stayed awake

00:40:00.880 that kind of person you know tattoos he

00:40:04.140 had a bunch of tattoos didn't even know

00:40:05.200 where he got them tattoos that had

00:40:06.820 nothing to do with them you know you know

00:40:09.600 R.I.P. Angela and you're like who's

00:40:11.320 Angela's like I don't know you're like

00:40:13.380 well fuck you know somebody knew long

00:40:16.520 enough to hold you down and write it on

00:40:17.760 you you know you think you got more

00:40:20.120 intel when that was going on but he used

00:40:22.860 to wear his brother on his back his

00:40:25.220 brother that couldn't walk so I've been

00:40:27.280 around that type he'd wear him on his

00:40:28.560 back like a backpack just hold both of

00:40:30.140 his arms on his chest and just be

00:40:31.720 rocking his brother you know his

00:40:34.200 brother was you know had that limp he

00:40:36.180 was limp from the waist down kind of

00:40:37.960 dude they had this one brother by me

00:40:41.140 this black guy and his legs he had

00:40:44.160 something real lean legs you know not a

00:40:47.580 lot of muscular bone in there he might

00:40:49.240 have had zero bone he might have had

00:40:51.600 that fucking mermaid ism or something

00:40:53.280 zero bone in his legs and he got him

00:40:56.040 I remember one time for graduation

00:40:57.720 dude he got his legs fucking braided he

00:41:02.180 had his hair braided cornrowed and he

00:41:04.440 had his fucking legs braided around each

00:41:06.460 other I was like damn man that's

00:41:09.660 gangster as fuck when you braiding your

00:41:12.300 appendages just to look nice for

00:41:14.860 something so you know it just that was

00:41:18.600 another thing about Jacksonville just

00:41:19.800 took me back to just being in regular

00:41:21.960 times and I saw this man who was in

00:41:23.340 this you know kind of cooped out high

00:41:25.240 chair you know this baby eatery and

00:41:29.060 him and his buddy was sitting there and

00:41:30.440 they talking about the game and they

00:41:31.500 were so excited and you could tell I

00:41:34.880 don't know if you could tell that they

00:41:35.640 hadn't had a lot of excitement in their

00:41:37.720 life but there is something about a

00:41:39.680 team doing well that brings people

00:41:41.020 together and that you know you know

00:41:44.400 when you see somebody they're wearing the

00:41:45.640 same emblem as you even if it's a

00:41:47.340 trademark it's a national football team

00:41:49.340 whatever sports does that for people

00:41:51.260 it brings people together and I was

00:41:53.360 sorry to see Jacksonville lose because

00:41:56.440 America I think people are tired of

00:41:57.980 seeing Boston win you know I even had a

00:42:00.380 Boston fan and if there's a Boston fan

00:42:03.180 out there who can tell me more about

00:42:04.900 this that that they're tired of seeing

00:42:07.480 the Patriots win because I bet at some

00:42:10.100 point it does have to get a little do you

00:42:13.500 feel greedy and I'm not saying you like

00:42:17.300 you are like you're taking the victory

00:42:19.680 every year but you are you're achieving

00:42:21.580 it does it still at a certain point

00:42:23.880 feel like it's what does that feel

00:42:26.880 like I don't maybe greed isn't the word

00:42:28.800 but what does that feel like I'm curious

00:42:31.100 about that if you feel like you know

00:42:35.820 what let's let's let somebody else do it

00:42:38.200 you know it'd be nice to see somebody

00:42:40.840 else do it and then Minnesota they lost

00:42:44.080 that game and they got they ass whooped by

00:42:46.360 the Philadelphia Eagles and I apologize

00:42:48.620 I've I don't think there's a nicer

00:42:50.680 stretch of people in America kinder

00:42:53.220 people than in Minnesota I really don't

00:42:55.900 and I think there's a lot of kind people

00:42:57.460 out there but you you know they even

00:42:59.080 have a thing called Minnesota nice where

00:43:00.680 people are just so nice that they don't

00:43:03.100 even know what's going on you know some

00:43:05.420 guy died a couple years ago there because

00:43:07.080 he had just been so nice to people you're

00:43:10.460 like what happened to him like he fucking he

00:43:12.560 just niced out you know they find they

00:43:15.260 find they found him and he'd been just

00:43:16.740 nice he'd just been nice to death just

00:43:19.820 just too nice like damn hmm but but I was

00:43:25.880 talking to shy Chris who is uh the

00:43:27.480 assistant who's helping out here on the

00:43:28.880 pod here and he is um and he's a Latino

00:43:32.160 gentleman and he was saying he said well

00:43:37.220 you know what the thing about Minnesota

00:43:38.360 was they didn't really they didn't get a

00:43:41.700 team win last week they got they won the

00:43:45.160 game but it was just a player beat a player

00:43:46.780 at that last minute that last second and

00:43:50.300 it didn't feel like a team win so you had a

00:43:52.160 team in there in the NFC championship that

00:43:55.960 that had accidentally gotten there it seemed

00:43:59.900 like and I'm not trying to discredit

00:44:02.260 Minnesota but that made sense to me it was

00:44:05.420 like yeah it felt like their team didn't win

00:44:07.500 that game but that they they slipped by so

00:44:13.640 then you have to think about it then you

00:44:15.920 have a team that that worked their way into

00:44:18.380 their Philadelphia and you have a team that

00:44:20.620 it seemed like kind of slipped in and so

00:44:24.440 it's really tough for that team that slipped

00:44:26.720 in you know because of you know the the

00:44:30.780 minute miracle in Minnesota if it took a

00:44:32.720 miracle to get you there then what's it

00:44:35.980 going to take to get you past through that

00:44:38.080 next game you know a team miracle you know

00:44:43.340 what's it going to take Philadelphia got to

00:44:45.620 be in a plane crash like what's it would

00:44:47.340 it have taken for them to get to that

00:44:49.240 next game but my team's out so obviously

00:44:53.100 I'm sour the Saints suck the you know the

00:44:55.760 Saints ate it and their coaches out there I

00:44:58.300 think on them perks and he's out there

00:45:00.640 dancing and doing all of this and that and

00:45:03.860 I don't know I'm just I guess pissing my

00:45:06.900 teams out but that's your Super Bowl it's

00:45:09.420 going to be Boston versus Philadelphia bad

00:45:13.840 accent bad accents boy man that's going to

00:45:18.240 be fun I am excited I'm excited for that

00:45:19.940 game I think it's going to be good I also

00:45:22.500 think that's what else is good is that

00:45:23.860 gray block pizza and gray block pizza is

00:45:26.280 our charter sponsor and I couldn't be more

00:45:27.760 grateful to have a group come on board and

00:45:29.800 help us and get us and feed feed the need

00:45:33.680 in all of us to have that hit a gray block

00:45:38.000 pizza their link will be in the information

00:45:40.520 the woman's March came in that thing came

00:45:44.740 in hot and and we had a call that came in

00:45:49.380 and I'm going to get start slowly start to

00:45:50.900 get to some of these and here was one of

00:45:53.640 them right here that kind of came in

00:45:54.840 talking about Aziz and sorry and I haven't

00:45:57.860 listened to any of the calls I do look

00:45:59.760 through because they are trans they're

00:46:01.860 transposed on on the voicemail service

00:46:04.640 but so I can see sometimes vaguely what

00:46:08.400 they say or if it's somebody that I

00:46:09.560 recognize it has called or if it's

00:46:10.800 somebody that needs some you know direct

00:46:13.480 you know friendship but uh but I don't

00:46:17.960 know um but I'm trying not to listen to

00:46:20.720 them so I can hear them firsthand here we

00:46:22.360 go hey Theo this is Jessica from Salt Lake

00:46:25.540 City hey Jessica in Salt Lake and I've

00:46:27.880 had a lot of people reach out from Salt

00:46:29.040 Lake to say come to town and the owner

00:46:31.140 of that club they're wise guys this man

00:46:33.240 Keith Stubbs he uh he sent me a direct

00:46:36.540 message yesterday after I've tagged him in

00:46:38.780 about 20 tweets over the past two years

00:46:40.960 and he said hey man let's see about

00:46:42.580 getting you in for a weekend so um we're

00:46:45.360 going to try to make that happen there and

00:46:47.280 I'm grateful about that let's hear more

00:46:48.920 calling in about Aziz Ansari and his

00:46:53.180 allegations yep Aziz Ansari had the big

00:46:56.320 sexual allegations last week and he seems

00:46:58.660 to have you know he got off the hook on

00:47:00.580 him I don't know how heavy the

00:47:01.880 allegations were it seemed like a woman

00:47:04.600 had um just recounted what to some people

00:47:08.660 would just call a bad date uh or a sexual

00:47:12.620 experience that she decided afterwards that

00:47:15.740 she didn't really like and maybe during

00:47:17.760 she decided she didn't like but he didn't

00:47:20.280 get that same impression um and whether

00:47:24.380 that's because he isn't keen to getting

00:47:25.860 impressions from people which I wouldn't

00:47:28.360 be surprised um or whether he it was just

00:47:34.060 whatever it was just a regular date and he

00:47:36.780 didn't think anything of it let's hear

00:47:38.260 more

00:47:38.560 and I just want to say maybe instead of

00:47:42.580 bringing up things that we may or may not

00:47:45.000 know to be true maybe don't bring them up

00:47:47.640 and I'm saying this because you guys I

00:47:50.860 already feel isolated enough we don't

00:47:54.120 need to be addressing things that we know

00:47:57.160 to not be an issue or and or be true

00:48:00.360 okay so I'm thinking you're saying that

00:48:03.820 you know if we're not sure the truth then

00:48:06.640 let's don't talk about it

00:48:08.080 um but that's you know and look I feel

00:48:14.240 you it's a little bit scary to talk about

00:48:16.440 stuff when you don't know the factuality on

00:48:18.180 it yet you don't know when there's no real

00:48:20.260 jurisdiction on it but then part of that is

00:48:23.000 what what we do in the world we talk about

00:48:27.440 stuff we communicate about it you know we're

00:48:31.760 afraid I mean the first time I talked about

00:48:33.100 Aziz thing on the show I was afraid to say

00:48:34.900 that I felt like whenever I met him a couple

00:48:37.400 times that I met him he was a dick that he

00:48:40.920 wasn't friendly that he was one of the only

00:48:43.520 people that ever shook my hand and didn't

00:48:44.980 look at me when he did it while he was being

00:48:46.580 introduced to me um you know that made me

00:48:50.880 feel kind of less than you know it made me

00:48:54.160 but then some of that could just be my own

00:48:55.760 shit maybe that's just Hollywood maybe

00:48:57.820 that's just the way it is but I was afraid

00:48:59.480 to kind of say that because sometimes I get

00:49:00.880 afraid to to say shit to say what you know I

00:49:05.920 guess I get worry about the repercussions in

00:49:07.740 my business well you know this guy's talking

00:49:09.760 bad about comedians talking bad about this

00:49:11.700 or that um yeah but I think sometimes we just

00:49:15.720 we try and talk about stuff but yeah maybe

00:49:18.720 bringing it up wasn't wasn't that good I'm

00:49:20.700 curious to hear if you tell me more about why

00:49:22.640 you think that onward perhaps maybe we should

00:49:25.760 think about things that are going on with the

00:49:28.840 me too movement that aren't being addressed

00:49:30.740 like people not being charged for these

00:49:34.660 outrageous crimes that they've committed and

00:49:37.620 I'm honestly bringing this up because this has

00:49:39.500 created a divide in between me and my spouse

00:49:42.340 where he feels isolated and I feel neglected in

00:49:46.100 regards to these types of issues they're

00:49:48.200 finally being brought to light but we're

00:49:50.060 looking over here saying well what about

00:49:52.600 this guy what did he do it's just another

00:49:56.320 distraction ah and that could be another

00:50:00.260 distraction look I'll say this and I'm

00:50:03.380 working in Hollywood I'm trying to make a

00:50:05.860 career for myself here I would not put

00:50:09.260 anything past Hollywood I wouldn't put it

00:50:12.400 past them because it's too big of a money

00:50:15.020 machine for Hollywood not to you know push

00:50:18.820 and pull punches the way that they need them

00:50:20.640 to be pushed and pulled yeah I wouldn't be

00:50:23.340 surprised if I'm sure I would well I'm not

00:50:27.140 sure I would bet that somebody said oh

00:50:30.740 Aziz is way too big of a moneymaker you know

00:50:36.560 it's way there's way too many wagons hooked

00:50:38.920 to this pony for him to go down if he goes

00:50:41.840 down man he's him you know he's in me I

00:50:44.760 think he's Emmy winner you know he's got a

00:50:46.740 hit series he's sold out Madison Square Garden

00:50:48.540 that is a lot of money if he goes down we

00:50:51.760 are fucked some people are sitting there

00:50:54.960 look and say we're fucked financially we're

00:50:57.260 not fucked or we're just not going to make

00:50:58.480 that extra loot so of course then you reach

00:51:01.800 out to a writer you know of you know some a

00:51:04.440 PR person and you say look this allegation

00:51:08.220 came out what's a neat way that we could

00:51:10.180 frame this or what's another angle we can

00:51:12.420 show of this to put out there to get people

00:51:16.800 to think bigger or get people to think

00:51:20.080 differently or get people to at least see

00:51:21.580 both sides of it and now I'm not saying

00:51:24.200 that Aziz was guilty of anything he may

00:51:26.880 not have been when I read back on it I

00:51:29.340 look at just the elements that we know

00:51:30.900 about it seems like he was a dude that

00:51:33.820 was trying to fuck that was trying to get

00:51:36.020 laid she seemed like a young lady who

00:51:38.980 probably I've who statistically just based

00:51:42.380 on their the lengths of time they've been

00:51:44.460 alive wasn't able to hook up with a lot of

00:51:45.880 dudes probably so you know maybe hadn't

00:51:48.500 been in this type of environment this

00:51:49.880 seemed like the first celebrity kind of

00:51:51.300 guy she'd been around or been with and

00:51:54.160 he you know did he use his power I don't

00:51:57.800 know I don't think so it doesn't seem

00:52:00.240 like he like it doesn't seem like he was

00:52:03.520 like I'm Aziz Ansari fuck me it just seems

00:52:07.460 like he was being a dude trying to bang

00:52:10.740 or trying to catch an end trying to catch

00:52:13.040 some nut magic and she was a young girl

00:52:15.940 who didn't really know what was going

00:52:16.960 on and then I think a lot of girls are

00:52:19.500 confused now as to even well if I just

00:52:22.800 had a bad date do I am I supposed to

00:52:24.240 complain am I supposed to not am I not

00:52:26.220 complain but am I supposed to say that

00:52:27.700 what if I said a bad date four years ago

00:52:29.880 dude I remember being young this girl

00:52:32.400 first time I got a hand job jerked me

00:52:34.600 off into this river and the fish all came

00:52:37.500 and ate a bunch of bunch of my damn semen you

00:52:42.080 know and I'm sorry for being dirty here and

00:52:44.380 talking about like this but I remember

00:52:45.680 busting out first time I ever busted out in

00:52:48.860 front of a woman and the fish come right up

00:52:52.560 there have it all and I remember thinking I

00:52:56.440 was gonna go to hell dude but do I come out

00:53:00.260 now and say that this girl beat me off into a

00:53:02.920 river and try to you know demoralize me by

00:53:07.720 making me feel that I was feeding fish with

00:53:10.120 my body make I don't know I don't think so

00:53:14.880 so it's just but if you know but if I was

00:53:17.820 under this but if I was a girl and the roles

00:53:19.500 were switched and there was this me too

00:53:20.740 movement I might think that I might think

00:53:23.100 well shit I had a weird experience I got to

00:53:25.000 share mine I think it's just vague and when

00:53:28.120 things get vague and things are vague that's

00:53:30.620 when there's a lot of wiggle room and

00:53:33.160 unfortunately in this type of environment

00:53:34.520 there's a lot of wiggle room where people

00:53:35.620 can get careers can get damaged but yeah

00:53:40.140 they could easily you know maybe they push

00:53:43.040 that envelope a little bit with somebody

00:53:44.400 big to take the onus off of more important

00:53:48.540 celebrities and more important issues let's

00:53:51.440 hear more I'm sorry to you know talk on

00:53:53.420 your time here Jessica I really am onward

00:53:55.120 maybe let's talk about how Harvey Weinstein

00:53:58.620 Kevin Spacey and all of them have yet to

00:54:01.700 even be charged instead of giving coverage

00:54:05.840 to some chick that who gives a shit what

00:54:08.760 she's talking about okay and that's a good

00:54:12.780 point yeah it's like we're talking about

00:54:15.420 this weird date maybe that this guy went on

00:54:17.540 or a bad date and but then you have these

00:54:21.680 you know you have real men over here who

00:54:23.060 are not being charged with real crimes and I

00:54:25.060 think the thing there is that those are

00:54:26.920 real crimes and there's nothing slower in

00:54:29.640 America than justice or the or you know the

00:54:33.080 legal system and I think you could see a

00:54:35.800 while before I think those charges are

00:54:37.720 probably being packaged if you will you

00:54:40.600 know and they're they're they're crossing

00:54:42.100 you know probably legally they're crossing

00:54:43.540 all their T's and I's dotting their I's or

00:54:46.980 crossing their I's if they're fucking

00:54:48.400 idiots and they're probably putting those

00:54:51.200 packages together to make those charges

00:54:53.560 yeah because those are bigger things you

00:54:57.320 know those are bigger things but yeah you

00:54:59.780 had the you had the woman's March this

00:55:01.640 weekend and and I look you know I mean I've

00:55:07.420 said this before you know I grew up a single

00:55:09.160 mom I remember my mom got fired my mother

00:55:11.580 had a decent job at one point where she was

00:55:14.120 making some money and her boss was mean to

00:55:19.200 her mistreated her you know really talked

00:55:21.860 down to her and my mother complained to

00:55:26.880 above her boss she complained to her boss's

00:55:29.600 boss both of whom were men and my mom got

00:55:33.560 fired she got fired and then after that we

00:55:38.480 went we did go into some tougher times

00:55:40.120 because it was right after she had her

00:55:43.500 fourth child and and I just think it was a

00:55:47.800 lot on her I think it broke her spirit

00:55:49.420 some and that's when my parents got

00:55:52.380 divorced and stuff and I just think that

00:55:54.780 you know so I'll stand behind any woman

00:55:57.760 that is trying to make their lives better

00:56:00.600 there's nothing that's you know strained me

00:56:02.500 personally in my life more than than than

00:56:07.800 seeing you know women not be allowed to

00:56:11.140 feel comfortable and be themselves but this

00:56:15.640 march to me this weekend it seemed like a it

00:56:17.800 seemed like a cute sign festival if I'm

00:56:20.020 honest if I'm looking on Instagram this

00:56:22.540 time all of it seems to you know kind of

00:56:24.220 vague I still think it's good idea get

00:56:25.800 together but it also seemed like a cute

00:56:28.260 sign festival who can make the cutest sign

00:56:30.260 you know also sometimes in a lot of this

00:56:34.160 stuff when it's vague to me there's a lot

00:56:35.900 of room for anybody can get in there you

00:56:39.960 know a lot of people just trying to make

00:56:41.020 money a lot of celebrities show up to

00:56:42.920 those things oh they got to get their

00:56:44.820 women's march thing in because that's

00:56:46.880 their that's their that's their avenue for

00:56:51.080 to make to make cash you know that's I

00:56:54.420 mean feminism the feminism movement and

00:57:00.500 some fit I mean there's some there's some

00:57:02.180 feminists that it's just a this is a cash

00:57:04.400 game to them and that's unfortunate but I

00:57:08.060 think that smart women can see that and

00:57:12.860 smart men can see that and and so I think

00:57:17.980 if that if those are some of the outliers

00:57:19.560 of things that happen that you have these

00:57:21.460 you know people taking advantage of the

00:57:22.920 system for there to be for young women to

00:57:27.480 feel empowered and feel feel stronger to

00:57:29.780 have a voice and I think that's good but I

00:57:33.080 think it's unhealthy when you raise when I

00:57:36.120 feel like there's a lot of women out

00:57:37.460 there who are being just young women

00:57:39.040 who are being told that that that they're

00:57:45.320 that men are bad that men are bad and I

00:57:49.600 just feel that I see that as being not

00:57:51.620 healthy long term because a lot of just

00:57:54.460 angry women out there you also have a lot

00:57:56.640 of lesbians out there who were like out

00:57:58.940 there being like fuck men you know like

00:58:01.400 yeah you're gonna say that you're a

00:58:03.260 lesbian you have no interest in men like

00:58:07.800 where are there any lesbians that are

00:58:09.620 like yeah men are okay no because they

00:58:12.420 trying to catch that split there if a lot

00:58:16.260 of lesbian a lot of lesbians are just

00:58:18.160 undercover men and you know a lot of

00:58:22.100 them are out there in these what in

00:58:23.340 these you know in these uh streets in

00:58:25.480 these DC hotel rooms catching these wild

00:58:28.620 plastic parties and doing all of that

00:58:30.400 after these marches it's like I'll bring

00:58:32.600 your sweaty legs up into 319 you know

00:58:34.960 and I'll wash your legs off in the tub

00:58:37.440 with some avion water and use one of

00:58:40.200 these big electric powered uh wieners on

00:58:42.980 you and doing things like that so just be

00:58:46.480 I mean look you just got to be wise and

00:58:48.340 everything but I think a lot of people

00:58:49.480 see what's going on you know I think

00:58:52.200 there's a lot of people you know if

00:58:53.240 there's a woman out there who got her

00:58:55.780 a sitter for her kids you know or had

00:58:58.460 made her husband watch him said I want to

00:58:59.960 go out there and walk and feel some

00:59:01.340 empowerment man that's awesome you know

00:59:04.980 I want to go and see what it feels like

00:59:06.820 to be around a bunch of women and feel

00:59:10.240 good but it also seemed like a lot of

00:59:13.740 stuff out there people didn't know what

00:59:14.920 it was for some people out there just

00:59:16.620 hating Trump some people out there

00:59:18.240 posting 50 Instagrams trying to get the

00:59:20.460 cute find their cutest sign that they

00:59:22.320 could um you know and so I think it's

00:59:27.620 just it was just mixed but then maybe

00:59:29.520 that's what it's supposed to be maybe

00:59:30.920 the women are just marching but a lot of

00:59:33.420 women arguing to us on social media

00:59:35.140 about what the whole cause was and that

00:59:37.220 shit was hilarious because you just have

00:59:39.120 a bunch of women arguing in the street

00:59:40.680 about what they're there even to to

00:59:43.140 discuss or what they're there even to

00:59:45.040 talk about um but it was interesting I

00:59:47.900 appreciate you calling Jessica uh let's

00:59:50.240 go to another call here man let's do that

00:59:52.440 we're here let's do it hey Theo there's a

00:59:55.840 new app out now it's similar to those

00:59:58.020 apps similar to uber they have this

01:00:00.800 other app I believe it's called soothe and

01:00:03.480 it's for massages so you uh enter your

01:00:06.960 location and a certified masseuse massage

01:00:10.340 therapist will come to your house and

01:00:12.780 give you a massage that you had ordered

01:00:14.040 through the app oh wow I appreciate this

01:00:17.040 call she's saying you can get a massage

01:00:18.360 off an app so you can get a pizza and

01:00:20.880 somebody to fucking you know come over

01:00:23.120 and touch your trapeziuses all in a

01:00:25.740 couple of clicks of a button let me

01:00:27.860 hear more about this man sounds uh

01:00:29.520 sounds questionable to me I brought

01:00:31.600 this up my girlfriend anyway she uh

01:00:34.340 didn't think it was a good idea she

01:00:35.820 actually thought it was quite dirty she

01:00:37.140 thought the app would be used for

01:00:38.560 sexual pleasures and whatnot and we got

01:00:41.340 into a little bit of an argument over I

01:00:43.740 said it's for working professionals and

01:00:45.900 busy people and she thinks just another

01:00:48.360 outlet or excuse for creeps to have

01:00:51.480 dirty massages come to their door I

01:00:55.520 think it could be I think it could be

01:00:58.200 but it could be what we're headed to

01:00:59.820 you know if you have to have

01:01:02.840 documentation you have to have people

01:01:04.540 sign off on a release to touch each

01:01:06.140 other anymore it could be what we're

01:01:07.800 headed to

01:01:08.340 you know there's probably going to be a

01:01:11.940 special you know some guy peddling

01:01:13.680 around a special bathtub or something

01:01:16.000 you got to even jerk off in watch it

01:01:18.160 watch two years from now there's going

01:01:20.300 to be like a meter on your drain and

01:01:22.420 no jerk off can go down there and if

01:01:25.240 you jerk off you got to do it into a

01:01:26.500 special tub and they got a you know a

01:01:28.300 couple of men biking bicycling these

01:01:30.240 tubs around and some of these men might

01:01:32.540 be Latino men and I'm not judging them

01:01:34.240 but let's be honest that Latino the

01:01:36.860 Latino population keeps America afloat

01:01:39.160 dude this this country is it's red white

01:01:42.820 and beige let's be honest and so that'd

01:01:47.320 be probably pretty wild it might be

01:01:48.440 pretty cool you know your boy Javier

01:01:50.540 pulls up and it's you tip him five

01:01:52.600 bucks to look the other way and he you

01:01:54.420 know it's mano-a-mano he respects the

01:01:56.860 fact that this is the way it is now that

01:01:59.300 you're not allowed to you know sexually

01:02:01.560 you know feel any desires anymore as a

01:02:04.720 man so you have to just you know and

01:02:07.100 he's just running that seed tub and it's

01:02:09.920 just you know and there's a lot of

01:02:11.200 respect there I could almost see in

01:02:12.800 that being that that being a beautiful

01:02:14.300 film you know where maybe there's

01:02:17.240 somebody that lives out in the you know

01:02:19.300 in a field or something somewhere on the

01:02:20.860 edge of town you know out in the

01:02:22.160 country and he's at a you know but

01:02:25.500 Javier still bikes that tub out there and

01:02:28.200 cycles that you know that septicle he

01:02:31.620 just he still cycles that septicle out

01:02:33.460 there so the man you know can you know

01:02:36.360 jerk off a couple more times you know and

01:02:39.260 still feel like a man a little bit and

01:02:41.480 they talk about manhood shit real low

01:02:43.300 key and and then you know and then

01:02:48.440 Javier cycles back in and that's it I

01:02:51.000 could almost almost like a kind of like

01:02:52.900 a new age kind of dances with wolves you

01:02:54.820 know I don't know what's gonna happen

01:02:58.480 but yeah I don't have look I think yeah

01:03:00.600 a lot of women will be using that to

01:03:01.760 sell sex but that's what's happening

01:03:03.440 now I mean look if you don't think that

01:03:05.100 the sex selling trade is going on it's

01:03:07.520 going on I mean you go to backpage.com

01:03:11.080 and find you an escort any day of the

01:03:13.240 week now I will tell you that the ladies

01:03:16.160 on there that you see in the pictures

01:03:18.340 are not the ladies that are gonna come

01:03:21.140 to your door it's gonna be a different

01:03:22.960 lady okay that's gonna be a different

01:03:26.140 lady what they're gonna show you on the

01:03:27.900 website is gonna be Johnston and Murphy

01:03:29.900 and what gonna show up at your door is

01:03:32.840 gonna be more like Totino's you see

01:03:35.460 what I'm saying you're gonna get a

01:03:36.760 different product so just beware but

01:03:40.380 what I do think is neat about I was

01:03:41.780 just just chiming back on that women's

01:03:43.220 march for a second if you're a young

01:03:44.320 girl and you see a lot of women getting

01:03:46.500 together and doing something and

01:03:48.960 feeling empowered as a young I think

01:03:50.880 that would be neat you know if my

01:03:52.020 sisters or whatever saw that when we

01:03:53.320 were kids you know say we're you know

01:03:56.680 and it's fun and it looks neat but I

01:04:00.140 don't I don't know if it's if it looks

01:04:02.120 neat when it's a bunch of women out

01:04:03.400 there you know just yelling blaming

01:04:05.940 everything in the world on blaming

01:04:09.040 all the sexism and everything in the

01:04:10.680 world on Donald Trump and blaming it

01:04:13.020 on white people I mean there's a lot of

01:04:16.280 racist shit going on out there you know

01:04:18.680 a lot of white people blaming white

01:04:21.220 people for shit dude don't do that shit

01:04:24.460 I'm so sick of that I'm so sick of it

01:04:29.200 and it's mostly entitled white people

01:04:30.980 they're now going to try to flip the

01:04:32.840 script and blame they're blaming poor

01:04:35.000 white people they're but everything's

01:04:36.480 red and white people redneck white

01:04:37.980 people's fault are the most racist

01:04:39.240 people in the world that's bullshit

01:04:41.100 dude I'm saying I grew up around those

01:04:44.280 people and nobody a lot of times helped

01:04:48.600 more people in our in our town in our

01:04:50.940 neighborhood that had different color in

01:04:53.240 their skin than the people you're saying

01:04:56.000 are pieces of shit so sometimes I just

01:04:58.820 get so sick of that man because there's

01:05:00.800 nothing more racist than saying that

01:05:02.460 oh just because someone's poor and white

01:05:04.900 and they live off of a highway or they

01:05:07.220 don't are they you know are they you

01:05:09.900 know in the 4-H club suddenly they're a

01:05:11.780 racist you're a fucking idiot if you

01:05:13.500 think that that's narrow-minded that's

01:05:16.560 just as narrow-minded as me thinking

01:05:18.600 that a whole group is one way it's the

01:05:21.060 same thing it's the same thing if

01:05:24.400 there's something different I'd love to

01:05:25.700 hear a different note on that because

01:05:27.400 maybe and you can tell I'm like I'm

01:05:28.980 agitated by it I can feel it in my

01:05:31.540 chest I can feel my neck starting to

01:05:33.240 think you know my neck is starting to

01:05:34.920 think a little bit you ever get that

01:05:36.660 when you feel agitated you feel your

01:05:38.660 neck start thinking your neck's like

01:05:40.800 damn man what the fuck is up but some of

01:05:44.760 this stuff you know some of these women

01:05:47.120 are just out there trying to take all

01:05:48.620 the blame off of them oh we didn't oh

01:05:50.400 you're a white woman you have never

01:05:53.440 done any you never you know see a lot

01:05:58.160 of white privilege running around out

01:05:59.620 there trying to pretend behind different

01:06:01.940 signs that they're not involved in it

01:06:03.520 you know and everybody claiming every

01:06:06.920 you know just I don't know and I'm off

01:06:08.700 the handle here but you know what I

01:06:11.160 don't know if I've ever been on the

01:06:12.120 handle oh pretty fun news story right

01:06:17.340 here I'll tell you surgeon caught tagging

01:06:20.060 people's liver during surgery and that is

01:06:23.620 some straight-up gee shit right there

01:06:26.240 Simon Bramhall was caught signing his

01:06:30.500 name onto livers that he was performing

01:06:32.740 surgery on he was supposed to be stopping

01:06:35.360 the liver from bleeding but couldn't help

01:06:37.900 but leave his mark after a job well done

01:06:40.400 Simon claims no bodily harm was done to

01:06:43.220 patient but the court didn't see it that

01:06:45.080 way and he was charged with assault

01:06:46.940 causing actual bodily harm and was fined

01:06:49.940 10,000 British pounds come on I mean if

01:06:55.780 somebody died yes lock him up but if he's

01:07:02.700 just out there tagging up a couple of

01:07:03.980 organs dude it sound like he just went

01:07:06.820 they sound like he grew up in Tucson

01:07:07.920 Arizona you know I remember when I was I

01:07:10.160 went to school in Tucson for a semester

01:07:11.940 over at Santa Rita High School out there

01:07:13.820 in Tucson and and uh half of our class

01:07:19.500 do these young uh you know in this uh it

01:07:23.160 was a lot of it was mostly Hispanic it was

01:07:25.720 mostly Mexican um a lot of dude half of

01:07:29.340 our class would be outside fucking spray

01:07:32.840 painting their homework onto the side of

01:07:35.180 the building

01:07:35.660 oh they'll be like oh I did fucking

01:07:38.760 lesson four right here miss and just be

01:07:41.280 just tagging up the whole side of the

01:07:42.860 building

01:07:43.140 I mean I some dude wrote a whole term

01:07:45.860 paper on the side of a car wash next

01:07:47.220 door

01:07:47.480 and so maybe that's what this dude was

01:07:50.640 doing you know I think it's kind of

01:07:52.360 innovative

01:07:52.780 I think it's kind of neat if they could

01:07:54.800 do it though like what's he writing it

01:07:56.660 with if he's writing with a scapula you

01:07:58.900 know or something sharp that's probably

01:08:00.180 dangerous

01:08:00.780 but hey man whatever you got to do was he

01:08:04.160 putting on Instagram if he's not putting

01:08:06.000 on Instagram it don't even count

01:08:07.320 so

01:08:09.340 yeah man

01:08:12.620 what else dude oh the government shut

01:08:16.940 down good let it shut down for a little

01:08:20.000 bit

01:08:20.340 I'm gonna be fine you know why because

01:08:24.420 I'm able to take care of myself I have a

01:08:29.660 job

01:08:30.080 that's it

01:08:33.420 I don't need the government man if we

01:08:37.060 shut down some of these news media

01:08:38.380 outlets I think maybe we'll be we can

01:08:40.140 finally find some peace in our day I

01:08:42.980 don't know who has more blood on their

01:08:44.020 hands sometimes

01:08:44.720 you know this in a fit to me this

01:08:48.140 government's been inefficient for 40

01:08:49.340 years man

01:08:50.000 rich getting richer poor aren't really

01:08:53.440 being helped aren't really being inspired

01:08:55.060 but I do feel like there's a little more

01:08:57.100 inspiration out there these days so

01:08:58.600 that is good you know and also I don't

01:09:01.960 fucking know I don't know and also I

01:09:05.240 didn't get much sleep last night I got

01:09:07.280 up in Jacksonville this morning 5 a.m.

01:09:08.860 caught that flight here to Los Angeles

01:09:10.640 one more news story ultra runner wins

01:09:14.680 marathon by hiding in a bathroom Kelly

01:09:18.180 Agnew or a record holder for the white

01:09:21.380 rim trail and runner-up at the 2013

01:09:24.160 Pony Express trail 100 found guilty of

01:09:28.800 hiding inside of a porta potty during

01:09:30.840 the race and then when everybody went

01:09:32.760 by cutting corners hitting that end of

01:09:34.560 the race

01:09:35.020 popping out that shitter

01:09:36.760 and catching that medallion

01:09:40.520 and that's

01:09:42.640 I mean I remember during Mardi Gras a lot

01:09:44.920 of they had a lot of homeless people or

01:09:46.480 just people that were alcoholics which

01:09:47.920 sleep in the shitters out at Mardi Gras

01:09:49.520 at night oh sorry I just had to clear my

01:09:55.340 throat and caught a whole oyster of just

01:09:56.980 snot

01:09:57.440 I think could have had a pearl in it boy

01:10:01.780 did I could have put that thing on a

01:10:03.740 cracker put a little bit of lemon on it

01:10:05.760 a little bit of horseradish a little bit

01:10:07.640 of

01:10:08.000 pony sauce that white sauce

01:10:10.520 fucking lit my eyeballs up

01:10:14.680 make my dick think about me

01:10:17.120 that's how I like to have my oysters like

01:10:20.260 that but this dude he was hiding man

01:10:22.440 hiding in a shitter popped out caught

01:10:23.960 that medallion

01:10:24.640 tried to win the race

01:10:26.100 and that's

01:10:27.660 you know

01:10:28.440 you get busted

01:10:29.560 you get busted doing that you're

01:10:31.340 cutting corners

01:10:32.000 you're hiding in shitters dude

01:10:33.780 that's what you get

01:10:34.640 but I just want to let you know that

01:10:36.540 that's what's going on out there

01:10:37.820 that's what's going on out there

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01:12:03.680 I had this email come in

01:12:07.080 and

01:12:08.480 and I want to read it right now

01:12:10.740 this is an email

01:12:12.340 said

01:12:12.780 hey Theo

01:12:13.220 I'd like to call in

01:12:14.060 but I'm a little too nervous

01:12:15.180 and quite frankly embarrassed

01:12:16.720 I'm a young man

01:12:18.040 20

01:12:18.780 and a half

01:12:20.140 20 and a half

01:12:21.020 you know you're young

01:12:21.960 when you start still counting

01:12:22.820 when you're still counting halves

01:12:23.860 remember that

01:12:24.480 you're like

01:12:25.520 yeah I'm 7 and a half

01:12:27.240 well I'm 9 and 3 quarters

01:12:30.380 man that was fun

01:12:32.240 now I'll try to

01:12:34.240 fucking hide a year

01:12:35.060 any way I can

01:12:35.940 but he said

01:12:38.300 I'm 20 and a half

01:12:39.000 and I'm from Phoenix Arizona

01:12:40.080 long story short

01:12:41.400 I'm not happy

01:12:42.020 with my life situation

01:12:43.000 at the moment

01:12:43.540 I'm thinking about

01:12:44.460 dropping out of school

01:12:45.480 but I'm not sure

01:12:46.440 how my parents will feel

01:12:47.620 about me doing so

01:12:48.740 I feel like school

01:12:50.220 just isn't for me

01:12:51.420 I love to learn

01:12:52.900 and have discussions

01:12:53.660 in class

01:12:54.340 and I don't think of myself

01:12:55.720 as an idiot

01:12:56.440 I've always gotten

01:12:58.480 mediocre grades

01:12:59.520 which has always

01:13:00.400 either disappointed

01:13:01.600 or shocked my teachers

01:13:03.000 anyway I just feel lost

01:13:05.420 I've changed my majors

01:13:06.980 a few times already

01:13:07.920 and I just find myself

01:13:09.280 staring

01:13:09.860 at

01:13:10.880 staring

01:13:12.080 at

01:13:13.760 back

01:13:14.760 all over again

01:13:15.800 every semester

01:13:16.580 starting

01:13:17.580 back all over again

01:13:18.900 every semester

01:13:19.540 sorry

01:13:19.920 he didn't spell it right

01:13:21.700 and I didn't read it right

01:13:22.940 so we both had

01:13:23.900 kind of a part in that

01:13:24.860 I'm scared of how

01:13:27.120 my friends and peers

01:13:27.840 from high school

01:13:28.280 will think about me

01:13:28.920 when I see them at parties

01:13:30.000 most importantly

01:13:30.960 I'm scared of what my parents

01:13:32.100 would think of me

01:13:32.760 the last thing I want to do

01:13:33.960 is disappoint them

01:13:34.840 my dad came to this country

01:13:36.240 from Mexico

01:13:36.860 and opened his own business

01:13:38.100 and of course he expects us

01:13:39.540 to be successful in life

01:13:41.020 and of course that means school

01:13:42.960 what I truly want to do

01:13:44.540 at this point

01:13:45.000 is drop out

01:13:45.720 and start working

01:13:46.520 and save up

01:13:47.400 to open my own business

01:13:48.640 soon

01:13:49.180 I would really appreciate

01:13:50.640 your feedback

01:13:51.100 and I'm also curious

01:13:52.080 if you've ever encountered

01:13:53.220 these kinds of things

01:13:54.020 when you were in school

01:13:54.860 I appreciate you

01:13:57.860 emailing in man

01:13:58.520 and his name

01:13:59.180 I believe is Jose Ochoa

01:14:00.680 this is on the email

01:14:02.540 I'm not sure

01:14:03.880 if that's right or not

01:14:04.900 but I appreciate you

01:14:07.540 writing in

01:14:07.840 I know it is

01:14:08.460 Ochoa is his last name

01:14:09.560 Mr. Ochoa

01:14:10.120 I appreciate you

01:14:10.700 writing in

01:14:11.280 have I encountered this

01:14:14.200 yeah it took me

01:14:14.880 about 10 years

01:14:15.620 to finish college

01:14:16.940 I went to a bunch

01:14:18.820 of different colleges

01:14:19.540 and I didn't

01:14:21.600 for a while

01:14:22.100 I didn't think

01:14:22.600 it was for me

01:14:23.460 I almost took that

01:14:25.080 for me I took an angry

01:14:26.720 sense of pride

01:14:28.180 and like

01:14:28.600 man college isn't

01:14:29.540 for everyone

01:14:30.200 you know

01:14:30.860 and that's true

01:14:32.140 it's not

01:14:32.920 but for me

01:14:34.200 it was I didn't think

01:14:35.320 I was gonna finish

01:14:36.300 and

01:14:37.860 and so I used that angle

01:14:41.280 to make me feel better

01:14:42.440 about it

01:14:43.720 you know

01:14:44.580 if I'm

01:14:45.040 if I'm

01:14:45.720 if I'm thinking

01:14:46.360 I'm not gonna finish

01:14:47.120 like fuck

01:14:47.600 I don't know

01:14:47.880 if I'm ever gonna finish college

01:14:48.980 then for me to be like

01:14:50.160 oh man

01:14:50.940 not everybody needs college

01:14:52.280 then that's easier

01:14:53.400 it's easier

01:14:54.420 it's easier way for me

01:14:55.160 to digest it

01:14:55.820 and to hold on to

01:14:56.680 what might be happening

01:14:58.100 that I might not be graduating

01:14:59.560 and eventually I did

01:15:02.380 and I was glad that I did

01:15:03.400 because it just took it

01:15:04.320 out of my life

01:15:05.140 it took it

01:15:05.840 it took it out of my life

01:15:07.600 and

01:15:08.920 you know

01:15:09.960 my mother was a very educated woman

01:15:11.640 she graduated from Duke University

01:15:13.300 second in her class

01:15:15.000 she was a smart lady

01:15:16.000 you know

01:15:17.700 she made some

01:15:18.280 you know

01:15:18.940 some tough choices

01:15:19.800 and she had some tough choices

01:15:21.140 to face

01:15:21.660 so

01:15:22.020 so I at least had that influence

01:15:25.700 of college

01:15:26.400 but what made me want

01:15:28.280 to really go to college

01:15:29.360 and get a degree

01:15:30.240 and why I decided to finish

01:15:31.480 was

01:15:31.900 a basketball coach

01:15:34.060 from when I was

01:15:34.980 you know

01:15:36.400 11 and 12 years old

01:15:38.700 this man

01:15:39.340 Mr. Steve

01:15:39.960 Coach Steve

01:15:41.020 and actually broke

01:15:42.300 into his house

01:15:42.760 a couple years later

01:15:43.520 just you know

01:15:45.660 just

01:15:46.200 being a dumb kid

01:15:48.100 and being ungrateful

01:15:48.860 but he told me

01:15:50.460 he said

01:15:51.180 you know why

01:15:51.580 he goes

01:15:52.000 you got to get your diploma

01:15:52.860 and I said

01:15:53.500 why

01:15:53.880 and he said

01:15:54.780 because they can't

01:15:55.360 take it away from you

01:15:56.320 that's what he said

01:15:58.400 he said

01:15:58.880 they can't take it away

01:15:59.660 from you

01:16:00.100 and I didn't know

01:16:01.920 who they were

01:16:02.680 and I still don't know

01:16:04.520 who they are

01:16:05.360 but more

01:16:07.300 and I

01:16:07.980 so I got my diploma

01:16:08.860 and that was the reason

01:16:10.240 it was him saying that

01:16:12.260 it was a man

01:16:13.080 in my life

01:16:14.300 that took a moment

01:16:15.040 to tell me something

01:16:15.900 and for some reason

01:16:17.380 from that man

01:16:18.000 I could hear it

01:16:18.720 you know

01:16:19.760 my basketball coach

01:16:20.680 was one of the

01:16:21.160 you know

01:16:21.580 I never even got to

01:16:22.380 play basketball

01:16:23.000 until I was 11

01:16:23.860 and so he put me

01:16:25.060 on that team

01:16:25.700 you know

01:16:26.900 and I made the little

01:16:27.480 all-star team

01:16:28.200 in our town

01:16:28.700 and it gave me

01:16:29.400 like one of the first

01:16:30.580 senses of pride

01:16:31.380 that I ever felt

01:16:32.020 as a child probably

01:16:33.040 you know

01:16:34.260 of like

01:16:34.560 you know

01:16:36.540 because he was a man

01:16:37.240 that cared enough

01:16:37.900 he would come

01:16:38.660 to pick me up

01:16:39.460 damn

01:16:41.480 y'all got me

01:16:41.940 fucking emotional

01:16:42.740 man

01:16:43.100 what the hell

01:16:43.840 but he would come

01:16:45.220 to pick me up

01:16:45.700 and take me to practice

01:16:46.640 you know

01:16:47.140 and

01:16:48.040 and you know

01:16:50.320 I never had a man

01:16:51.160 come and pick me up

01:16:52.300 and take me anywhere

01:16:54.400 you know

01:16:56.920 I'd never had it

01:16:57.860 and I just remember

01:16:59.840 feeling like

01:17:00.420 just a lot of

01:17:01.240 you know

01:17:02.240 just a lot of gratitude

01:17:03.060 towards him

01:17:03.940 you know

01:17:06.040 or maybe at the time

01:17:06.820 I didn't

01:17:07.120 now I do

01:17:07.620 looking back

01:17:08.320 but I did

01:17:09.820 I don't know

01:17:11.480 at the time

01:17:11.940 I just

01:17:12.300 I don't know

01:17:13.520 it made me feel good

01:17:14.340 it made me feel

01:17:14.800 a part of something

01:17:15.660 you know

01:17:17.280 it made me feel

01:17:17.660 a part of something

01:17:18.240 you know

01:17:18.480 he would pick me up

01:17:19.160 over in my neighborhood

01:17:19.900 which is kind of

01:17:20.360 a shitty neighborhood

01:17:21.100 and he would take me

01:17:21.700 over there

01:17:22.020 to the nice gym

01:17:22.860 where we would practice

01:17:23.580 and we won a city

01:17:25.400 championship

01:17:25.960 our team

01:17:26.600 and you know

01:17:27.100 it was

01:17:27.320 and it was just like

01:17:28.980 things that made me feel

01:17:30.340 you know

01:17:33.180 they made me feel

01:17:33.820 like every other kid

01:17:34.760 you know

01:17:34.980 they made me feel

01:17:35.520 okay

01:17:36.000 they made me feel

01:17:36.460 a little bit of pride

01:17:37.220 you know

01:17:38.300 I remember taking

01:17:38.760 a hammer and a nail

01:17:41.320 and you know

01:17:43.460 hammering up

01:17:44.160 they gave us a certificate

01:17:45.180 that says

01:17:45.640 city champs on it

01:17:46.880 and I remember

01:17:47.700 just nailing it

01:17:48.520 into my wall

01:17:49.160 you know

01:17:50.180 right next to this

01:17:51.680 Jim McMahon poster

01:17:52.680 and

01:17:54.060 but

01:17:55.660 but anyway

01:17:57.280 not to get too far

01:17:58.760 off base here

01:17:59.180 but

01:17:59.360 he said

01:18:00.600 he said

01:18:02.220 you get your diploma

01:18:04.020 he goes

01:18:04.300 because they can't

01:18:04.800 take it away from me

01:18:05.440 and I didn't know

01:18:05.920 who they were

01:18:06.660 but now

01:18:07.980 when I look back

01:18:08.820 I realize that

01:18:09.420 they

01:18:09.800 for me

01:18:11.040 they were me

01:18:12.300 the

01:18:14.140 the

01:18:14.460 the thing in my head

01:18:15.740 that tells me

01:18:16.980 I never got it done

01:18:17.920 that's what it was

01:18:20.760 it was

01:18:21.060 they can't take it

01:18:22.160 away from you

01:18:22.860 and also

01:18:24.700 it's

01:18:24.960 it's

01:18:25.240 it's people

01:18:25.740 if

01:18:25.920 no one can ever say

01:18:27.160 oh you didn't

01:18:27.660 he didn't get a diploma

01:18:28.700 and so

01:18:30.460 this would be

01:18:30.960 my suggestion

01:18:31.620 for you

01:18:32.040 and

01:18:32.260 college is not

01:18:33.260 for everyone

01:18:33.860 I just don't

01:18:35.300 want you to be

01:18:35.800 quitting

01:18:36.160 because

01:18:36.920 because

01:18:40.100 not because

01:18:44.020 you don't

01:18:44.460 here's what I would say

01:18:47.540 I think if you got

01:18:48.360 time to get it

01:18:49.360 maybe try and get it

01:18:51.620 at your pace

01:18:52.600 you know

01:18:55.200 put a class

01:18:56.080 on the docket

01:18:56.680 each semester

01:18:57.220 look man

01:18:57.920 and that's what I did

01:18:58.840 it took

01:18:59.220 dude I went to

01:18:59.920 six or seven

01:19:00.760 different universities

01:19:01.660 you know

01:19:02.840 I was taking

01:19:03.320 I finally got my

01:19:04.600 stuff through

01:19:05.220 University of New

01:19:06.060 Orleans online

01:19:06.940 you know

01:19:08.100 I finished up

01:19:08.600 with a degree

01:19:09.060 in damn

01:19:09.780 urban planning

01:19:11.420 dude

01:19:11.900 I'm a fucking

01:19:13.080 neighborhood designer

01:19:15.260 you know

01:19:17.580 but

01:19:18.060 I mean

01:19:18.600 it's

01:19:18.900 you get what

01:19:19.880 you get

01:19:20.340 you know

01:19:20.700 but they can't

01:19:21.960 take it away

01:19:22.440 from you

01:19:22.720 if you get it

01:19:23.400 so my suggestion

01:19:24.720 to you would be

01:19:25.640 to map out

01:19:26.420 a small plan

01:19:27.180 even if it's

01:19:27.800 a ten year plan

01:19:28.760 and do that

01:19:30.320 and get that done

01:19:31.800 because I think

01:19:33.300 that you can

01:19:34.060 I think you can

01:19:35.320 do it

01:19:35.740 in over ten years

01:19:36.880 you can make it

01:19:38.700 happen man

01:19:39.360 now if at five years

01:19:40.980 in or whatever

01:19:41.640 or fucking

01:19:42.120 in another two years

01:19:43.080 you're like

01:19:43.400 fuck that

01:19:44.140 that's ridiculous

01:19:44.860 it doesn't work

01:19:45.460 for me

01:19:45.800 then okay

01:19:46.440 that's it

01:19:47.040 you're done

01:19:48.300 you don't need

01:19:49.020 to you know

01:19:49.380 maybe it's not

01:19:49.880 for you

01:19:50.320 maybe you come

01:19:51.040 back later

01:19:51.480 and you do it

01:19:52.160 and you mentioned

01:19:53.900 a small business

01:19:54.560 but I would have

01:19:54.980 a plan as to

01:19:55.680 what that business

01:19:56.480 is

01:19:56.920 whatever you're doing

01:19:58.380 I would have

01:19:58.720 some semblance

01:19:59.720 of a plan

01:20:00.320 but at 20 years old

01:20:02.040 man you have time

01:20:02.640 to get that

01:20:03.380 or get your associates

01:20:04.540 or get something

01:20:05.500 and you could still

01:20:06.960 go join the military

01:20:07.880 for you know

01:20:09.020 a term or two

01:20:10.240 I mean

01:20:10.480 you still have

01:20:11.200 a lot of time

01:20:11.900 to do a lot of things

01:20:12.960 so whatever you do

01:20:14.240 I would have

01:20:14.600 try to have

01:20:15.300 a little bit

01:20:15.680 of a plan

01:20:16.220 I know it's hard

01:20:17.080 at your age

01:20:17.780 and it might be tough

01:20:21.260 to be honest

01:20:21.780 with your family

01:20:22.380 and your friends

01:20:23.040 but just tell them

01:20:24.400 you know

01:20:25.580 have that same

01:20:26.180 message you wrote

01:20:27.240 to me

01:20:27.520 just talk to your dad

01:20:28.340 look I respect you

01:20:29.080 more than anything dad

01:20:30.040 you know

01:20:31.280 I mean my father

01:20:32.160 was first generation

01:20:32.820 from Nicaragua

01:20:34.780 you know

01:20:35.740 and he came here

01:20:36.620 and you know

01:20:39.140 and he worked hard

01:20:39.760 and he made a lot of friends

01:20:40.720 he didn't make any money

01:20:41.800 but I know that he found joy

01:20:45.100 in a new country

01:20:45.920 and I didn't know him

01:20:48.560 that much

01:20:48.800 because he was so much older

01:20:49.720 so we don't have a lot of

01:20:50.620 you know

01:20:51.300 we're not on a lot

01:20:51.780 of the same page there

01:20:52.720 but

01:20:53.120 but I would just

01:20:55.680 you know

01:20:56.320 here

01:20:56.700 I'm just rambling

01:20:57.700 a little bit

01:20:58.040 but I would have a plan

01:20:59.020 whatever you're gonna do

01:20:59.900 at 20

01:21:01.480 I think I would try

01:21:02.320 and have a plan

01:21:03.220 and that's gonna be hard

01:21:04.500 probably at 20

01:21:05.260 but if you can start

01:21:06.340 to have a plan now

01:21:07.460 man

01:21:08.400 sky's a limit

01:21:09.980 for you

01:21:10.540 Mr. Ochoa

01:21:11.980 the sky is a limit

01:21:13.000 for you

01:21:13.560 but I commend you man

01:21:15.440 it's certainly

01:21:15.780 you know

01:21:16.000 you got a neat story

01:21:16.940 and I think that that's

01:21:18.820 I always wanted to

01:21:20.060 go live in another country

01:21:21.940 you know

01:21:23.100 I was always envious

01:21:23.880 of people that

01:21:24.640 just that

01:21:25.660 I cannot even imagine

01:21:27.660 what your father went through

01:21:28.800 you know

01:21:29.720 and my father for that point

01:21:30.880 but

01:21:31.160 you know

01:21:31.920 we're talking about

01:21:32.500 your father right now

01:21:33.220 and just coming to a new place

01:21:34.700 and being so

01:21:35.640 you know

01:21:37.380 probably so scared

01:21:38.280 but also so inspired

01:21:39.720 by the ability

01:21:42.280 that

01:21:43.160 just knowing

01:21:44.180 that if they

01:21:44.600 that if he worked hard

01:21:45.780 that he had a chance

01:21:46.860 because that's what's missing

01:21:49.400 in a lot of other countries

01:21:50.440 you know

01:21:51.580 we sit here

01:21:52.100 and a lot of times

01:21:52.680 people are marching

01:21:53.440 and throwing up

01:21:55.060 all this shit

01:21:55.520 on social media

01:21:56.540 saying

01:21:56.900 well what

01:21:57.440 this is going on

01:21:58.280 in this country

01:21:58.920 and we need to help it

01:21:59.880 we need to solve it

01:22:00.820 well go help it

01:22:01.920 go help it

01:22:03.800 there's a woman

01:22:04.540 getting rocks

01:22:05.160 thrown at her

01:22:05.640 in Iran

01:22:06.100 go hold a shield

01:22:07.240 up in front of her

01:22:08.080 go do something

01:22:10.720 you know

01:22:12.960 because

01:22:13.540 how we can help

01:22:15.720 is by people

01:22:16.880 here

01:22:17.240 achieving their dreams

01:22:18.340 you know

01:22:19.720 and we're doing that

01:22:20.600 you know

01:22:22.260 like a lot of the help

01:22:23.260 a lot of the help

01:22:24.020 that America does

01:22:24.800 is what's going on

01:22:25.940 right here

01:22:26.540 you know

01:22:29.940 and I know

01:22:30.220 that's kind of a vague

01:22:30.980 segue right there

01:22:31.820 but

01:22:32.120 you get out there man

01:22:33.460 I cheer you on dude

01:22:35.120 those are some thoughts

01:22:35.840 that I have

01:22:36.400 and also bro

01:22:37.520 if you don't like

01:22:38.100 what I said

01:22:38.760 you ask

01:22:40.640 take it for a grain of salt

01:22:41.620 I would ask

01:22:42.140 five other people

01:22:43.000 that you trust

01:22:44.640 and I would

01:22:46.020 then I would just get

01:22:47.360 a look at some of their

01:22:48.420 at some of their thoughts

01:22:49.400 and then I'd make

01:22:50.140 your own decision

01:22:50.820 but they can't take it

01:22:52.960 away from you

01:22:53.440 if you get it

01:22:54.100 they can't take it away

01:22:56.000 you always have it

01:22:58.020 and they

01:22:58.960 for me

01:22:59.540 were those

01:23:00.240 questions

01:23:00.640 were those people

01:23:01.280 in the back of my head

01:23:02.220 were my own

01:23:03.880 negative thoughts

01:23:04.660 that would say

01:23:05.040 oh you didn't get your

01:23:05.720 you didn't get your diploma

01:23:06.620 well

01:23:07.920 I got that thing

01:23:09.040 I got that hitter

01:23:10.580 let's see if we do

01:23:11.960 one more call man

01:23:12.560 because we're going

01:23:12.980 on long here

01:23:13.580 and I actually

01:23:13.980 I got to practice

01:23:15.000 tonight

01:23:15.400 I'm actually

01:23:15.940 going to have to run

01:23:16.540 I'm sorry

01:23:19.000 I'm sorry man

01:23:23.360 I'm actually

01:23:24.080 going to have to run

01:23:24.480 I think

01:23:24.920 Chris you in here

01:23:26.320 is there one

01:23:28.160 we want to finish

01:23:28.720 out on brother

01:23:29.400 I'm sorry

01:23:30.180 I don't think

01:23:32.880 we have time

01:23:33.360 okay

01:23:33.700 okay

01:23:34.940 yeah but that was

01:23:39.460 interesting man

01:23:39.860 I appreciate you guys

01:23:40.600 calls

01:23:40.780 we had some other

01:23:41.320 you know

01:23:41.580 other things we

01:23:42.220 wanted to talk about

01:23:43.140 and stuff

01:23:43.980 we didn't get to them

01:23:44.900 we might do a

01:23:46.280 Thursday episode

01:23:46.860 this week

01:23:47.520 you know if you

01:23:48.660 and I guess

01:23:49.080 if you have some

01:23:49.560 suggestions for

01:23:50.720 Mr. Ochoa

01:23:51.380 was that his name

01:23:52.000 Chris

01:23:52.340 I don't remember

01:23:53.320 how to pronounce his name

01:23:54.160 okay

01:23:55.000 damn Chris

01:23:56.460 you're Latino

01:23:56.920 you don't even know

01:23:57.620 dog

01:23:57.880 come on bro

01:23:59.680 damn bro

01:24:01.780 I'm just messing

01:24:03.620 with you man

01:24:04.220 yeah but if you

01:24:06.760 have some suggestions

01:24:08.560 for him

01:24:08.940 maybe that's

01:24:10.680 what we'll do

01:24:11.640 if you have some

01:24:12.480 I might make a

01:24:13.920 Thursday episode

01:24:14.520 this week

01:24:15.100 have some other

01:24:15.960 stuff we're trying

01:24:16.460 to do

01:24:16.860 you know we just

01:24:18.240 got to get some

01:24:18.740 other things going

01:24:19.380 on in here

01:24:19.780 we're trying to

01:24:20.380 get the studio

01:24:20.840 made so we can

01:24:21.420 have a guest

01:24:21.900 in sometimes

01:24:22.600 and then we

01:24:25.560 just have the

01:24:25.980 rest of our

01:24:26.340 lives to get

01:24:26.820 to this week

01:24:27.280 but I appreciate

01:24:28.020 you guys coming

01:24:28.500 and being here

01:24:28.900 this week

01:24:29.460 man

01:24:30.140 you know

01:24:32.860 I'm constantly

01:24:33.560 amazed at the

01:24:34.140 little moments

01:24:34.600 that I have

01:24:35.300 being here with

01:24:36.800 you guys

01:24:37.280 you know

01:24:38.220 and I'm amazed

01:24:38.880 that a kid

01:24:39.460 you know

01:24:41.440 that I don't

01:24:42.540 even know

01:24:42.920 who's 20 and

01:24:43.660 a half

01:24:44.120 from Phoenix

01:24:45.620 Arizona

01:24:46.140 can send an

01:24:49.080 email in

01:24:49.760 you know

01:24:51.760 that makes

01:24:52.280 that you know

01:24:53.260 makes me feel

01:24:54.720 emotional

01:24:55.160 and brings me

01:24:55.700 back to

01:24:56.300 a time in my

01:24:58.160 life when

01:24:58.900 you know

01:25:00.440 when a man

01:25:00.940 gave me advice

01:25:01.660 that I could

01:25:02.100 hear

01:25:02.440 and sometimes

01:25:04.160 that's the

01:25:04.620 toughest thing

01:25:05.200 man

01:25:05.360 sometimes it's

01:25:06.260 like

01:25:06.500 it's crazy

01:25:07.580 you can get

01:25:08.000 advice a million

01:25:08.820 times or

01:25:09.360 suggestions a

01:25:10.220 million times

01:25:11.120 but it's just

01:25:12.280 it's that one

01:25:13.060 time when you

01:25:13.600 can hear them

01:25:14.340 it's that one

01:25:16.120 time when there's

01:25:16.900 just a connection

01:25:17.620 when you can

01:25:18.120 hear them

01:25:18.740 and that's

01:25:20.220 what's rare

01:25:20.780 that's what's

01:25:23.040 that's one thing

01:25:25.900 that I'll miss

01:25:26.420 about life

01:25:26.860 when I die

01:25:27.380 you know

01:25:27.740 and I'm not

01:25:28.300 planning on dying

01:25:28.960 sorry I didn't

01:25:29.460 mean to get

01:25:29.760 dark there

01:25:30.220 but you know

01:25:30.980 I think about

01:25:31.480 that sometimes

01:25:32.120 when you know

01:25:32.820 things that I'll

01:25:33.340 miss

01:25:33.700 and it's those

01:25:35.500 moments

01:25:36.000 when you

01:25:37.720 when you can

01:25:39.560 hear somebody

01:25:40.260 and when you

01:25:40.800 look back in

01:25:41.300 your life

01:25:41.560 you're like

01:25:41.780 oh wow

01:25:42.160 that man

01:25:42.560 took a moment

01:25:43.180 to influence

01:25:44.480 me

01:25:44.880 and that doesn't

01:25:47.100 mean preaching

01:25:47.660 at every kid

01:25:48.200 you see

01:25:48.540 and telling

01:25:48.840 them what's

01:25:49.140 right and

01:25:49.440 what's wrong

01:25:49.900 but

01:25:50.240 but I think

01:25:53.140 there's things

01:25:53.860 you can say

01:25:54.320 sometimes

01:25:54.800 that can help

01:25:55.740 you know

01:25:56.620 that can help

01:25:57.000 young men

01:25:57.420 that need it

01:25:58.080 so I don't

01:25:59.700 know if we

01:25:59.980 help or if

01:26:00.820 we're at all

01:26:01.320 able to be

01:26:01.820 helpful

01:26:02.140 Mr. Ochoa

01:26:02.980 but if guys

01:26:03.800 want to hit

01:26:04.080 the hotline

01:26:04.600 985-664-9503

01:26:07.580 you know

01:26:08.720 this is what

01:26:09.240 he says

01:26:09.780 he said

01:26:10.540 I'm not happy

01:26:11.040 with my life

01:26:11.440 situation at the

01:26:12.140 moment

01:26:12.340 I'm thinking

01:26:12.680 of dropping

01:26:13.080 out of school

01:26:13.660 I feel like

01:26:14.620 school just

01:26:15.040 isn't for me

01:26:15.720 I love to

01:26:16.600 learn and have

01:26:17.060 discussions

01:26:17.520 I don't think

01:26:18.000 of myself

01:26:18.280 as an idiot

01:26:18.840 I've always

01:26:19.700 gotten mediocre

01:26:20.340 grades

01:26:20.940 I just feel

01:26:21.700 lost

01:26:22.140 I'm scared

01:26:23.120 of how my

01:26:23.480 friends and

01:26:23.900 peers from

01:26:24.260 high school

01:26:24.600 will think

01:26:24.960 about me

01:26:25.400 when I see

01:26:25.860 them at

01:26:26.140 parties

01:26:26.520 and now

01:26:27.980 that I can

01:26:28.380 relate to

01:26:28.760 too man

01:26:29.220 scared of

01:26:29.660 what my

01:26:29.860 friends would

01:26:30.260 think

01:26:30.580 and you know

01:26:32.620 I'm still

01:26:32.920 scared about

01:26:33.360 that a lot

01:26:33.920 so I wish

01:26:35.340 I had some

01:26:35.740 suggestion for

01:26:36.360 you in that

01:26:36.760 area but

01:26:37.280 I still

01:26:37.880 I don't even

01:26:39.720 know how to

01:26:39.980 tackle it

01:26:40.440 sometimes

01:26:40.920 it's not as

01:26:42.240 bad as it

01:26:42.600 was when I

01:26:42.940 was your

01:26:43.180 age but

01:26:43.480 man I

01:26:43.720 still worry

01:26:44.120 a lot about

01:26:44.460 what people

01:26:44.860 think

01:26:45.200 but look

01:26:46.920 man I

01:26:47.700 think that

01:26:49.140 I appreciate

01:26:49.620 you guys

01:26:50.000 being here

01:26:50.520 today

01:26:51.300 happy January

01:26:52.080 22nd

01:26:52.900 if you need

01:26:53.480 something

01:26:53.680 hit the

01:26:53.940 hotline

01:26:54.240 985-664-9503

01:26:56.400 we're going to

01:26:56.980 leave out the

01:26:57.420 same way that

01:26:57.980 we came in

01:26:58.740 with Mr.

01:26:59.320 Brad Levine

01:27:00.360 aka

01:27:01.100 Better Off

01:27:02.100 Barefoot

01:27:02.700 be good to

01:27:05.140 yourselves man

01:27:05.880 thank you to

01:27:11.220 everybody that

01:27:11.740 came out there

01:27:12.360 out in

01:27:12.720 Jacksonville

01:27:14.120 who else

01:27:15.300 Max

01:27:16.320 Cool Cat

01:27:17.280 Costanza

01:27:20.000 crazy lady

01:27:20.800 that

01:27:21.020 we had fun

01:27:22.440 got nine

01:27:23.420 pitches together

01:27:24.180 but she was

01:27:24.660 wild

01:27:25.180 everybody

01:27:26.900 dude Jerry

01:27:29.060 came out

01:27:29.880 and I'm not

01:27:31.620 trying to

01:27:31.880 single people

01:27:32.340 out I'm

01:27:32.640 just names

01:27:33.760 that are

01:27:33.960 popping into

01:27:34.380 my head

01:27:34.840 a lot of

01:27:37.860 neat ladies

01:27:39.460 and gentlemen

01:27:39.880 came through

01:27:40.420 and I

01:27:41.100 appreciate it

01:27:41.860 oh yeah

01:27:42.800 Suzanne and

01:27:43.540 my crew

01:27:44.060 my girl

01:27:45.620 Loretta from

01:27:46.220 over there in

01:27:46.660 Tampa

01:27:47.040 oh yeah

01:27:51.220 we had fun

01:27:52.740 be good to

01:27:53.760 yourselves man

01:27:54.480 bet you deserve

01:27:55.320 it

01:27:55.620 ladies and

01:27:57.260 gentlemen

01:27:57.560 I'm Jonathan

01:27:58.380 Kite

01:27:58.760 and welcome

01:27:59.360 to Kite Club

01:28:00.080 a podcast

01:28:01.000 where I'll be

01:28:01.720 sharing thoughts

01:28:02.320 on things like

01:28:03.020 current events

01:28:03.740 stand-up stories

01:28:04.940 and seven ways

01:28:06.060 to pleasure your

01:28:06.840 partner

01:28:07.260 the answer may

01:28:08.560 shock you

01:28:09.180 sometimes I'll

01:28:10.220 interview my

01:28:10.720 friends

01:28:11.200 sometimes I won't

01:28:12.520 and as always

01:28:14.040 I'll be joined

01:28:14.720 by the voices

01:28:15.300 in my head

01:28:16.020 you have

01:28:16.880 three new

01:28:18.060 voice messages

01:28:18.880 a lot of

01:28:20.080 people are

01:28:20.560 talking about

01:28:21.240 Kite Club

01:28:21.880 I've been

01:28:22.560 talking about

01:28:23.340 Kite Club

01:28:23.860 for so long

01:28:24.700 longer than

01:28:25.400 anybody else

01:28:26.320 so great

01:28:27.140 hi

01:28:28.120 sweet

01:28:28.660 easy deal

01:28:30.180 anyone who

01:28:31.400 doesn't listen

01:28:31.920 to Kite Club

01:28:32.600 is a dodgy

01:28:33.480 bloody wanker

01:28:34.660 Jermaine

01:28:35.360 I'll take a

01:28:37.500 quarter pounder

01:28:38.160 with cheese

01:28:38.660 and a McFlurry

01:28:39.680 sorry sir

01:28:40.260 but our ice cream

01:28:40.820 machine is broken

01:28:41.540 I think Tom

01:28:45.160 Hanks just

01:28:45.600 butt dialed me

01:28:46.500 anyway

01:28:46.940 first rule

01:28:47.820 of Kite Club

01:28:48.320 is tell

01:28:49.280 everyone about

01:28:50.080 Kite Club

01:28:50.620 second rule

01:28:51.380 of Kite Club

01:28:51.980 is tell

01:28:52.960 everyone about

01:28:54.120 Kite Club

01:28:54.800 third rule

01:28:55.580 like and subscribe

01:28:56.660 wherever you

01:28:57.400 listen to podcasts

01:28:58.200 or watch us

01:28:59.500 on YouTube

01:28:59.940 yeah

01:29:00.380 and yes

01:29:01.280 don't worry

01:29:01.860 my Brad Pitt

01:29:02.700 impression will

01:29:03.380 get better

This Past Weekend with Theo Von - January 22, 2018

1-22-18 ｜ This Past Weekend #69

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