This Past Weekend with Theo Von - 1-29-18

00:00:00.000 Ah, we're still alive.

00:00:30.000 There you go.

00:00:38.800 You hear that?

00:00:41.680 That is Every Night by Jameson.

00:00:46.600 Jameson Flood is the man's name, and he sent that in.

00:00:51.120 And I appreciate that music submission there.

00:00:53.180 It's beautiful music there.

00:00:55.100 You know, that sounds like somebody's getting, you know,

00:00:57.880 somebody getting, you know, molested by a stream or something,

00:01:02.460 maybe in Montana.

00:01:15.100 You know, that sounds like somebody's trying to,

00:01:17.460 somebody's hitting on your mother at a bar while you're, you know,

00:01:20.880 nine years old and you're just, you know,

00:01:23.040 waiting over by the cigarette machine, you know,

00:01:27.060 beating on it like it's a video game

00:01:28.640 and trying to find something to do.

00:01:39.440 A lot of mustaches.

00:01:41.880 A lot of mustaches back behind that music.

00:01:44.220 And that's Jameson Flood.

00:01:46.740 That's what that is.

00:01:47.560 And I appreciate, uh, appreciate that sound right there.

00:01:50.560 Thank you guys for joining us on this past weekend.

00:01:53.600 It is Monday, January 29 in the year,

00:01:58.740 2001-8.

00:02:00.340 And we are in the realm of the universe as far as we know.

00:02:05.940 And they say,

00:02:07.060 I was hearing somewhere the other day that

00:02:09.420 we might be figments of our own imagination.

00:02:13.620 We might be somebody else's plan.

00:02:15.240 We might be somebody else's video game.

00:02:18.700 And I'm like, damn, bro.

00:02:20.940 You know, if that's the case, man,

00:02:23.900 get that, uh, get that mushroom and let daddy sprout.

00:02:27.400 You know, if that's the case,

00:02:29.100 then get that flashy flower.

00:02:31.240 Cause I'm ready to throw some fireballs.

00:02:33.300 You know, I'm,

00:02:34.940 I'm ready to wing a couple of flaming pop pops

00:02:37.420 at fucking locals.

00:02:39.140 You know, that's what I'm ready to do.

00:02:43.620 I mean, sometimes we just,

00:02:45.440 man, I wish you had, I had fireballs.

00:02:47.820 Wouldn't that be awesome?

00:02:50.160 Somebody's talking or something

00:02:51.720 and they won't shut it down.

00:02:53.660 And you've been listening

00:02:54.720 and you've been a patient listener

00:02:56.760 probably for maybe

00:02:58.400 already probably a minute and 10 seconds.

00:03:01.480 And that's about my listen span

00:03:03.400 where they need to give a break

00:03:04.940 for somebody else to kind of pop in

00:03:06.380 that 70 second mark.

00:03:07.620 And if they just keep running past

00:03:10.120 over two minutes,

00:03:11.780 oh, I just, just wing a damn,

00:03:14.720 just, just a little,

00:03:18.200 just a flaming little fuck nugget

00:03:21.320 right at them.

00:03:22.880 Take one of their earlobes off.

00:03:24.480 Show them who's boss.

00:03:26.240 Show them who's boss

00:03:27.260 in this talk and listen and fight

00:03:29.260 in this talk and listen association.

00:03:33.760 Oh, sorry, man.

00:03:35.720 I'm just a little frustrated.

00:03:36.740 You know, and sometimes you are.

00:03:39.020 Sometimes you are just a little frustrated

00:03:40.860 and that's okay.

00:03:42.580 What's going on?

00:03:43.600 Welcome.

00:03:44.360 Thank you guys for joining me.

00:03:46.340 Thank you guys for being here.

00:03:48.180 Thank you for being alive.

00:03:50.420 You know, I had a pretty wild weekend.

00:03:51.980 I'll get into that first.

00:03:53.080 Um, I got a new bed.

00:03:57.560 You know, I got a new bed.

00:03:59.960 You know, the old bed,

00:04:01.440 not that good of luck.

00:04:03.480 You know, I had this bed

00:04:05.620 probably for maybe three years.

00:04:08.500 Not a lot of sex in it.

00:04:10.480 Not a lot of good sex.

00:04:11.860 That's for sure.

00:04:13.380 Definitely a lot of awkward

00:04:14.620 kind of laying there.

00:04:16.820 You know,

00:04:17.600 talking about why,

00:04:20.000 you know,

00:04:21.440 the sex wasn't good

00:04:22.560 or why, you know,

00:04:23.860 you know,

00:04:24.400 had that PTI,

00:04:25.620 that PTE,

00:04:26.540 that part-time erection.

00:04:28.540 You know,

00:04:29.040 because my erection,

00:04:29.920 boy,

00:04:30.060 that thing will file for unemployment

00:04:31.280 like a mother hug.

00:04:36.280 You know,

00:04:36.860 my erection liked to get

00:04:38.220 that disability check.

00:04:39.640 So, you know,

00:04:43.160 this bed hadn't really seen it.

00:04:44.420 And also this bed,

00:04:45.920 it kind of looked like a,

00:04:47.660 like a,

00:04:48.240 I don't want to say a lady's bed,

00:04:49.640 bro,

00:04:49.840 because that is gutter.

00:04:52.020 You know,

00:04:52.520 for a man to be in a lady's bed,

00:04:55.460 that's not,

00:04:56.260 and he don't have a lady,

00:04:58.200 and he's just laying

00:04:59.080 in a woman's bed at night,

00:05:01.040 that is just something

00:05:02.400 that is wild.

00:05:03.980 You know,

00:05:04.200 that's something that is not for,

00:05:05.700 that's for outdoors.

00:05:06.780 That's for another realm.

00:05:08.180 That's not what's supposed

00:05:08.820 to be happening.

00:05:09.980 In my life.

00:05:11.460 And I got this bed,

00:05:12.560 but it was like one of those,

00:05:13.440 it was like a wrought iron kind of,

00:05:16.160 you know,

00:05:16.620 had that kind of cagey sort of,

00:05:18.840 kind of a British.

00:05:20.060 It looked kind of British,

00:05:21.180 you know.

00:05:22.400 Kind of like two really skinny people

00:05:24.780 that were in Britain,

00:05:26.180 like a man and a woman.

00:05:28.000 Or two men,

00:05:29.580 you know,

00:05:30.020 that are,

00:05:30.340 that are married.

00:05:31.520 This isn't a kind of a bed

00:05:33.060 where like two men

00:05:33.820 that just are getting together

00:05:34.780 to do sex,

00:05:36.140 meet up.

00:05:36.820 This isn't a bed like that.

00:05:37.920 This is a two men

00:05:39.320 that have been married

00:05:40.160 and have a couple of,

00:05:40.980 you know,

00:05:41.720 armoires

00:05:42.480 and maybe,

00:05:44.500 you know,

00:05:44.980 a lot of fancy books

00:05:46.120 in another room,

00:05:46.960 a rug.

00:05:48.060 You know,

00:05:48.400 it's something more like that.

00:05:49.660 Or where two real thin women

00:05:52.480 would meet up

00:05:53.740 and,

00:05:54.880 and be with each other,

00:05:56.480 you know,

00:05:56.700 and be around each other like that.

00:05:58.800 So,

00:06:00.240 yeah,

00:06:01.120 anyway,

00:06:01.300 I got rid of that

00:06:01.940 and I got me a,

00:06:02.520 a more of a wooden bed

00:06:03.720 and this thing is a damn Noah's Ark.

00:06:06.600 It could weigh 700 pounds.

00:06:08.300 I don't even know.

00:06:10.120 I mean,

00:06:10.560 it just,

00:06:11.220 I don't know.

00:06:11.560 I mean,

00:06:11.760 it,

00:06:11.940 it took Egyptians

00:06:12.940 to get it into the house.

00:06:14.600 That's how heavy this thing was.

00:06:16.540 So,

00:06:16.960 I got a new bed.

00:06:18.940 You know,

00:06:19.380 and it was a pretty good,

00:06:20.060 I think of this company

00:06:20.760 called Blake Avenue,

00:06:22.680 you know,

00:06:23.060 and I don't work with them

00:06:24.220 or,

00:06:24.460 yeah,

00:06:24.620 BlakeAvenue.com.

00:06:26.220 They got cool wooden beds

00:06:27.740 because I started seeing this.

00:06:29.340 Every bed I would look for,

00:06:30.480 it's all the same bed

00:06:31.460 or the same five or six beds.

00:06:34.000 They're all sold by the same

00:06:35.280 three or four companies,

00:06:36.640 Overstock or Wayfair

00:06:38.320 or fucking,

00:06:39.640 you know,

00:06:40.640 sleep fucker

00:06:42.140 or whatever.

00:06:44.040 You know,

00:06:44.500 and I wanted something

00:06:45.220 that was a little more unique,

00:06:46.620 you know,

00:06:46.780 a genuine bed,

00:06:48.640 you know,

00:06:49.100 because I've slept in some

00:06:49.840 unique spots before.

00:06:51.660 You know,

00:06:52.080 I slept under a man's bed

00:06:53.120 when I first moved out here

00:06:53.940 to Los Angeles

00:06:54.620 and that was a non-sensual relationship

00:06:56.780 that was friendship only

00:06:58.020 and for 150,

00:06:59.320 $50 a month,

00:07:00.020 I slept under his bed

00:07:00.900 and I had whooping cough too

00:07:02.560 during that time

00:07:03.160 and I had to hold my coffin

00:07:04.320 one time

00:07:04.920 while he was making love

00:07:06.980 to a woman

00:07:07.580 or,

00:07:09.160 or he may have actually

00:07:10.660 just been masturbating

00:07:11.580 but also

00:07:12.400 doing impressions

00:07:15.760 of a woman

00:07:16.320 at the same time.

00:07:17.820 So,

00:07:18.260 I don't know

00:07:18.860 what was going on

00:07:20.520 but one of those things

00:07:21.240 was going on

00:07:21.700 and I had a whooping cough.

00:07:22.780 If you don't know

00:07:23.140 whooping cough,

00:07:24.160 sometimes you feel like

00:07:25.120 you have to cough.

00:07:26.100 Sometimes a cough

00:07:26.960 feels like it has to you

00:07:28.660 and that's whooping cough.

00:07:30.700 Whooping cough

00:07:31.340 is like that,

00:07:32.320 it's that brother

00:07:33.120 that shows up

00:07:34.020 or that rednecky dude

00:07:36.260 that shows up

00:07:36.920 and don't ask you

00:07:37.440 any questions

00:07:37.980 and just punches you

00:07:39.540 in the fucking face

00:07:41.240 and that's whooping cough

00:07:43.260 and that thing

00:07:44.360 beat me down,

00:07:45.300 beat me up

00:07:45.960 and beat me up

00:07:46.880 and down

00:07:47.340 and that's what

00:07:48.700 happened to me

00:07:49.160 but I got a new bed.

00:07:51.360 What else?

00:07:51.920 I get up Saturday morning

00:07:52.760 and I was going to do

00:07:53.220 some volunteering

00:07:53.820 at the Special Olympics,

00:07:55.060 you know.

00:07:55.760 I met this girl,

00:07:57.520 you know,

00:07:57.740 I met a plus size model

00:07:58.960 a while back,

00:08:00.140 you know,

00:08:00.760 and,

00:08:01.360 you know,

00:08:03.480 you know,

00:08:04.180 a plus size model,

00:08:05.300 this,

00:08:06.000 a girl that likes to eat

00:08:07.120 and,

00:08:07.360 you know,

00:08:09.160 eat and,

00:08:09.680 you know,

00:08:11.040 and look fancy

00:08:12.080 and I like that

00:08:13.820 because I like to do

00:08:14.920 those things sometimes.

00:08:15.760 I like to eat

00:08:16.260 and be a little bit fancy

00:08:17.220 and so she told me

00:08:19.660 that you got to do,

00:08:21.640 she said she had

00:08:22.260 a family member,

00:08:23.580 I think that was

00:08:23.920 in the Special Olympics

00:08:24.860 and I was like,

00:08:25.880 you know what,

00:08:26.440 I want to go

00:08:26.880 and check it out

00:08:27.480 and she said

00:08:27.880 that she volunteered

00:08:28.480 all the time

00:08:29.080 so I checked it out

00:08:30.720 so I went down there

00:08:31.840 Saturday morning,

00:08:33.420 I get there,

00:08:34.200 8 a.m.,

00:08:35.120 turns out

00:08:36.560 the thing was on Friday

00:08:38.520 so I'm down there

00:08:41.340 asking people

00:08:42.500 just,

00:08:43.280 dude,

00:08:43.480 and I hadn't been down

00:08:44.400 there before,

00:08:44.840 this is at a high school

00:08:45.660 down near Long Beach,

00:08:47.680 you know,

00:08:47.860 about a 40 minute drive,

00:08:48.920 I get there,

00:08:49.980 I'm asking people,

00:08:51.000 you know,

00:08:52.980 have you seen

00:08:53.760 the Special Olympics

00:08:54.760 and people looking at me

00:08:56.760 like I'm,

00:08:58.060 you know,

00:08:58.840 should be a coach in it,

00:09:00.760 you know,

00:09:01.000 or should be a damn,

00:09:02.420 you know,

00:09:02.900 should be running

00:09:03.340 the fourth leg

00:09:03.980 of the relay

00:09:04.620 because I'm running

00:09:05.840 around this school

00:09:06.640 and this track

00:09:07.300 and everything

00:09:07.600 looking for Special Olympians

00:09:09.640 and asking people

00:09:10.880 and it turns out

00:09:12.720 finally I go back

00:09:13.740 and look at the documentation

00:09:14.640 they'd sent me

00:09:15.460 and the thing was on Friday,

00:09:17.840 the thing was on Friday

00:09:18.960 and how about this,

00:09:21.220 who,

00:09:21.880 who does a Special Olympics

00:09:23.460 on Friday,

00:09:26.740 huh,

00:09:27.640 Special Olympics

00:09:28.360 is a weekend event,

00:09:30.060 you don't put a Special Olympics

00:09:31.960 on a Friday,

00:09:34.340 so those,

00:09:35.140 those,

00:09:35.520 these young warriors

00:09:37.040 and battlers

00:09:37.980 and,

00:09:38.960 you know,

00:09:40.620 javeliners,

00:09:43.140 the,

00:09:43.440 you know,

00:09:43.760 who are,

00:09:44.960 you know,

00:09:45.420 have some afflictions,

00:09:47.500 some of God's favorites

00:09:48.640 and they gotta be out there

00:09:50.220 in traffic on a Friday

00:09:51.700 and mucking around

00:09:52.840 and people can't go watch them,

00:09:54.960 so now I'm sitting down

00:09:56.480 in Long Beach

00:09:57.040 at 8.30,

00:09:58.100 I'm so,

00:09:58.620 I'm furious,

00:10:00.940 you know,

00:10:02.200 I'm furious because,

00:10:04.120 you know,

00:10:04.540 I wanted to go,

00:10:05.280 I was excited,

00:10:06.460 I had a late night

00:10:07.320 the night before at work,

00:10:08.300 I got up early,

00:10:09.100 I got in the car,

00:10:09.840 I got down there

00:10:10.760 and,

00:10:13.000 I mean,

00:10:13.220 I was,

00:10:13.340 I was bummed that I'd missed it

00:10:14.760 because I wanted to be there,

00:10:16.420 I wanted to do it,

00:10:17.340 you know,

00:10:17.600 I was working registration,

00:10:19.240 it was gonna be fun,

00:10:20.960 it was gonna be something

00:10:21.600 I'd never been to before

00:10:23.500 because I'd never even been

00:10:24.620 to a regular Olympics,

00:10:26.460 you know,

00:10:27.340 I met Peekaboo Street

00:10:28.660 one time in Utah

00:10:29.740 and honestly,

00:10:31.340 bro,

00:10:31.500 she seemed down to,

00:10:32.480 you know,

00:10:35.680 Peekaboo Street

00:10:36.920 seemed like she didn't,

00:10:38.800 she wouldn't have mind

00:10:39.500 if I'd done a couple

00:10:41.380 of U-turns

00:10:42.620 in the cul-de-sac,

00:10:44.800 you know,

00:10:46.900 but,

00:10:47.920 and I remember one time

00:10:49.820 I got to,

00:10:50.220 they had this skeleton course

00:10:51.380 out there at the Olympics,

00:10:52.780 I was in Utah,

00:10:53.660 I didn't go to the Olympics

00:10:54.300 but I got to go

00:10:54.840 to the training facility

00:10:55.780 and they had the skeleton

00:10:57.300 and that's where you lay

00:10:58.120 face first on this little bitty,

00:11:00.400 it's almost like a,

00:11:01.320 just a window,

00:11:02.280 like somebody took a window

00:11:03.220 out of a building

00:11:04.480 and set it on the ground

00:11:05.600 on an ice track

00:11:06.900 and you just go as fast

00:11:08.200 as you can

00:11:08.600 and your,

00:11:09.420 your face is just

00:11:11.000 three inches

00:11:12.000 from the ice.

00:11:15.160 Man,

00:11:15.620 that shit,

00:11:15.960 that shit was hardy,

00:11:16.900 that shit was scary

00:11:17.600 but,

00:11:18.480 but anyhow,

00:11:19.900 so now I'm furious,

00:11:20.960 I'm furious,

00:11:21.680 I guess I'm angry

00:11:24.480 that my time is,

00:11:25.300 you know,

00:11:25.520 I feel like I've wasted my time

00:11:26.840 even though it's just,

00:11:27.660 it's not even,

00:11:28.580 you know,

00:11:28.860 the time wasn't even about me,

00:11:30.180 it was about being there

00:11:30.800 for,

00:11:31.300 you know,

00:11:31.460 the program,

00:11:32.120 what was going on

00:11:33.000 and,

00:11:33.840 and next thing you know,

00:11:35.020 I'm just,

00:11:35.340 I had to go park by the water,

00:11:37.100 I had to go park by the water

00:11:38.200 in my car

00:11:38.860 and just take some deep breaths

00:11:41.240 because I,

00:11:43.400 then I was angry

00:11:43.940 because I was also angry

00:11:44.860 why you do Special Olympics

00:11:46.280 on a Friday

00:11:47.180 because you don't know

00:11:48.560 what Friday is like

00:11:49.380 in Los Angeles,

00:11:50.360 Friday,

00:11:51.160 oh sorry,

00:11:52.800 Friday in Los Angeles

00:11:54.720 and that's Jameson Flood

00:11:56.120 right there

00:11:56.620 who sent in his music

00:11:58.040 and he just emailed me back

00:12:00.000 and said it is not copy written

00:12:01.620 and so we can use that

00:12:04.000 so thank that,

00:12:04.880 thank you there,

00:12:05.280 we'll put a link

00:12:05.760 to his SoundCloud

00:12:06.600 in the,

00:12:07.520 in the YouTube

00:12:08.680 and that was

00:12:09.220 this song earlier

00:12:10.500 which sounds like,

00:12:11.760 you know,

00:12:12.740 like somebody's,

00:12:13.780 you know,

00:12:14.280 taking off your stepmother's shirt

00:12:15.640 and is basically just

00:12:16.580 spinning a disco ball

00:12:17.980 around between her tits

00:12:18.900 and blowing cigarette smoke

00:12:20.580 around her neck

00:12:21.880 and maybe

00:12:22.300 up around her thighs

00:12:23.720 and stuff,

00:12:24.140 here you go.

00:12:40.040 And that's what that is

00:12:41.140 right there.

00:12:41.820 So,

00:12:42.320 alright,

00:12:42.580 I'm sorry,

00:12:43.000 my audio is low,

00:12:44.060 I didn't even realize that guys

00:12:45.440 and now I'm coming in,

00:12:46.900 now I'm flexing a little bit,

00:12:48.120 I had the wrong audio.

00:12:49.760 Ja.

00:12:53.140 Man,

00:12:53.760 I just feel like,

00:12:54.440 you ever had those times,

00:12:55.440 nothing's going your way,

00:12:57.300 nothing's going your way.

00:12:59.500 I wish somebody would pull up

00:13:00.840 with a damn van full of

00:13:02.220 your way

00:13:03.100 and just

00:13:04.280 fucking dump that shit

00:13:06.280 all over my body

00:13:07.100 because sometimes I want

00:13:08.920 things

00:13:09.660 to go my way.

00:13:12.220 So,

00:13:12.680 yeah,

00:13:12.840 that's where I was,

00:13:13.480 I was out there,

00:13:14.040 so now I'm parked by the water

00:13:15.140 because I'm pissed,

00:13:15.720 I'm pissed for one

00:13:16.760 that I'm up,

00:13:17.200 that I'm down there,

00:13:17.820 that it's not going on,

00:13:18.620 that I missed it.

00:13:19.640 I'm pissed that I didn't read

00:13:20.720 the documentation properly.

00:13:22.360 And then I'm also angry

00:13:23.720 that they do Special Olympics

00:13:25.100 on a Friday.

00:13:28.180 And,

00:13:28.640 and I'm not even in them.

00:13:31.880 You know,

00:13:32.500 here I am angry

00:13:33.320 about something

00:13:33.700 that has nothing

00:13:34.360 to even do with me.

00:13:36.060 So that was,

00:13:37.080 that was pretty much

00:13:37.920 kind of the highlight

00:13:38.460 of my weekend.

00:13:40.220 You know,

00:13:40.540 I hit a couple

00:13:41.000 of men's meetings,

00:13:41.900 a couple of,

00:13:42.840 you know,

00:13:43.400 of the sobriety kind

00:13:44.620 and did a little bit

00:13:45.260 of that.

00:13:46.080 What else?

00:13:47.400 I,

00:13:47.760 I try to watch

00:13:50.820 a little bit

00:13:51.060 of that bee movie.

00:13:52.120 It's about bees

00:13:53.060 with Jerry Seinfeld.

00:13:55.340 And I actually met

00:13:56.280 a beekeeper one time

00:13:57.140 off of Casual Encounters

00:13:58.240 and this is back

00:13:58.860 when Casual Encounters

00:13:59.740 was pretty popular

00:14:00.440 and that was a place

00:14:01.160 where people

00:14:01.960 that didn't know each other

00:14:02.900 could meet up

00:14:03.440 with each other

00:14:04.060 blindly for sex

00:14:06.140 or just for a friendship

00:14:07.060 or even to fucking

00:14:07.920 see some beehives.

00:14:09.480 And I was out in,

00:14:11.940 where was I?

00:14:13.920 I don't know,

00:14:14.680 somewhere,

00:14:15.080 maybe,

00:14:15.400 oh,

00:14:15.960 Missouri.

00:14:17.360 And this gal,

00:14:18.860 and I got invited to,

00:14:21.360 I met this gal

00:14:21.940 of Casual Encounters

00:14:22.880 because I used to be out

00:14:24.080 in the,

00:14:24.360 I mean,

00:14:24.520 that's the dark arts

00:14:25.300 when you're out there

00:14:25.820 in the depths of the web,

00:14:27.620 you know,

00:14:27.900 meeting up with strangers

00:14:28.800 just to,

00:14:30.520 you know,

00:14:31.060 to have some sort

00:14:32.140 of a connection.

00:14:33.260 And I wouldn't,

00:14:33.800 you know,

00:14:34.240 and I,

00:14:34.720 and it wasn't always

00:14:36.120 you were trying to meet up

00:14:36.660 for some type

00:14:37.020 of a sensuality.

00:14:37.960 Sometimes you're just

00:14:38.400 meeting up to,

00:14:39.480 to see somebody.

00:14:41.860 You know,

00:14:42.300 because you're out

00:14:42.660 in these cities,

00:14:43.200 sometimes you're by yourself.

00:14:44.620 And so I met up

00:14:45.480 with this lady

00:14:45.940 and she was a dang beekeeper

00:14:47.140 and she drove a truck.

00:14:48.580 She drove a man's truck.

00:14:50.680 And so,

00:14:51.860 you know,

00:14:52.320 it made me a little nervous

00:14:53.200 when a woman drives

00:14:53.780 a man's truck

00:14:54.360 because you know what

00:14:54.940 sometimes comes along

00:14:55.680 with a man's truck?

00:14:57.060 A man.

00:14:58.260 So I didn't want

00:14:58.960 to get involved with that.

00:15:00.260 But she took me out

00:15:01.020 to the beekeeping range

00:15:02.060 where she kept bees

00:15:02.940 and,

00:15:03.440 and I got to,

00:15:04.820 and I got to put on the suit

00:15:05.900 and do a little bit of that,

00:15:07.200 you know,

00:15:07.440 that smoke work,

00:15:08.840 you know,

00:15:09.140 blowing that smoke,

00:15:10.740 you know,

00:15:12.180 blowing that smoke all around

00:15:13.280 and getting those bees chill,

00:15:14.640 calming them bees down.

00:15:15.740 Because bees are just like us.

00:15:17.200 They obviously want

00:15:17.780 the legalization of marijuana.

00:15:19.600 You know,

00:15:19.860 bees want to,

00:15:21.420 you know,

00:15:21.680 if that smoke hits them,

00:15:22.920 they chill out.

00:15:24.280 You know,

00:15:24.520 it's like a,

00:15:25.180 I mean,

00:15:25.440 basically what you do for bees

00:15:26.800 is you create a little hookah lounge

00:15:28.260 and then they're so chill

00:15:29.760 and calm,

00:15:30.580 you steal all their honey.

00:15:32.580 You steal all of that

00:15:33.680 fucking butt sweet

00:15:34.560 that they make.

00:15:35.720 Because that's what they do,

00:15:36.820 dude.

00:15:36.900 They're spinning honey

00:15:37.560 right out of their butt.

00:15:38.860 And that is damn remarkable.

00:15:40.820 Imagine that.

00:15:41.600 Imagine if we could do that.

00:15:43.200 You find a baby

00:15:44.240 who's got a full diaper

00:15:45.560 and then you just damn

00:15:46.600 sweeten a cake batter with it.

00:15:50.020 I mean,

00:15:50.540 that would be God's plan

00:15:51.440 right there.

00:15:51.880 What are we even talking about?

00:15:55.680 I don't know.

00:15:56.480 I don't know.

00:15:57.940 Sometimes I don't know.

00:16:00.000 I,

00:16:00.320 uh,

00:16:00.700 what else happened this weekend?

00:16:03.760 Yeah,

00:16:04.060 I guess just,

00:16:04.860 I don't know.

00:16:05.560 I've just been thinking

00:16:06.300 a lot about my own ego

00:16:07.240 and trying not to,

00:16:08.340 trying to do anything

00:16:08.980 I could think of

00:16:09.540 that would help

00:16:09.940 keep my ego down.

00:16:12.220 You know,

00:16:12.420 having an ego is scary.

00:16:14.380 Having this thing

00:16:15.220 inside of you

00:16:16.140 that just wants

00:16:17.200 for yourself.

00:16:19.340 That's scary.

00:16:20.840 I mean,

00:16:21.100 it's,

00:16:21.360 you know,

00:16:22.220 at a certain point

00:16:22.920 in our lives

00:16:23.480 and as,

00:16:23.840 as human beings,

00:16:24.700 I'm sure our ego

00:16:25.340 probably,

00:16:26.320 you know,

00:16:26.940 we needed it more

00:16:27.980 when we had more,

00:16:29.180 when we had to survive more.

00:16:31.960 I mean,

00:16:32.440 now it's like

00:16:33.380 you have to really

00:16:35.700 mess up.

00:16:36.720 I mean,

00:16:36.880 you have to get

00:16:37.680 to some low levels

00:16:38.980 to not survive,

00:16:40.040 especially in America.

00:16:41.460 You know,

00:16:41.900 other countries,

00:16:42.520 they'll leave you

00:16:42.960 out there on the road.

00:16:44.220 You know,

00:16:44.440 you'll turn into a,

00:16:45.240 in India,

00:16:45.780 you'll be a fucking speed bump

00:16:47.200 in a week and a half,

00:16:48.800 dude.

00:16:48.960 You'll be,

00:16:49.780 people will be driving over you

00:16:51.100 and no excuses.

00:16:51.900 That's it.

00:16:53.220 You know,

00:16:53.680 it's over.

00:16:54.120 Your life will end like that.

00:16:55.460 Some of these other countries.

00:16:58.620 But,

00:16:59.080 in America,

00:16:59.660 I mean,

00:16:59.760 you can keep going.

00:17:00.800 You can keep cruising

00:17:01.700 in the,

00:17:02.060 in the U.S. of A.

00:17:03.300 You know,

00:17:03.700 and they'll keep giving you

00:17:04.340 programs and assistance,

00:17:06.560 assistance,

00:17:07.520 and welfare,

00:17:08.640 and double welfare,

00:17:09.640 and triple welfare,

00:17:10.580 and no whammies,

00:17:11.220 no whammies,

00:17:11.820 no whammies.

00:17:13.420 Welfare vacation.

00:17:15.420 You know,

00:17:15.740 they'll just keep giving it.

00:17:17.180 In some places,

00:17:17.940 people need it,

00:17:18.520 and sometimes people don't.

00:17:21.260 You know,

00:17:22.060 but we'll get,

00:17:22.940 you know,

00:17:23.820 I don't know,

00:17:25.500 man.

00:17:26.760 I don't know.

00:17:27.580 What else?

00:17:29.000 You know,

00:17:29.400 I was thinking about,

00:17:31.760 this weekend,

00:17:35.040 I was thinking about,

00:17:36.480 when I was young,

00:17:38.460 they had,

00:17:40.300 you know,

00:17:40.640 I'm pretty gullible,

00:17:42.360 and when I was young,

00:17:43.500 they had a time,

00:17:44.340 where I didn't talk to my mother,

00:17:45.460 for probably about a year and a half,

00:17:47.660 and we had,

00:17:49.420 they had a,

00:17:51.400 man called my school,

00:17:53.780 and,

00:17:54.620 ended up sending me an email,

00:17:56.260 and this is when they had email,

00:17:58.320 and a man sent me an email,

00:18:00.280 and it was my,

00:18:01.260 it turned out to be my great uncle,

00:18:04.100 you know,

00:18:04.580 and I don't even know how many great,

00:18:05.720 you know,

00:18:06.040 like,

00:18:06.300 I mean,

00:18:06.500 my father was 70 years old,

00:18:07.780 when I was born,

00:18:08.520 a lot of you guys know that,

00:18:09.440 and so,

00:18:10.100 my dad was born in,

00:18:11.400 19,

00:18:14.000 10,

00:18:15.520 so,

00:18:16.420 the great uncle,

00:18:17.180 you know,

00:18:17.320 I'm keyed up,

00:18:18.060 I'm intrigued to see what's going on,

00:18:20.080 you know,

00:18:21.020 and who knows how,

00:18:22.160 I mean,

00:18:22.300 he wasn't like,

00:18:23.340 a hundred and something years old,

00:18:24.500 but he was an older man,

00:18:25.720 so I met up with him,

00:18:26.880 he was nice,

00:18:28.160 and then,

00:18:28.940 my girlfriend,

00:18:29.660 I had a girlfriend at the time,

00:18:30.640 so we'd go over there,

00:18:31.260 and spend some time with him,

00:18:32.760 hang out,

00:18:33.440 you know,

00:18:33.660 have some snacks,

00:18:34.560 or something,

00:18:34.940 or maybe listen to some music,

00:18:36.260 some adult music,

00:18:37.940 and then,

00:18:38.680 he one time,

00:18:40.220 started getting us a little bit cooked up,

00:18:41.940 on buying us some marijuana,

00:18:43.280 and liquor,

00:18:44.280 apple,

00:18:45.060 cider,

00:18:45.580 liquor,

00:18:46.620 you know,

00:18:47.020 and we,

00:18:48.680 you know,

00:18:48.880 we'd have a good little time,

00:18:49.880 hanging out,

00:18:50.500 and then one time,

00:18:51.700 we got real high,

00:18:52.760 and he,

00:18:54.200 melt,

00:18:55.520 what they called him,

00:18:56.760 Uncle Melt,

00:18:57.920 like,

00:18:58.300 you know,

00:18:58.620 something that was frozen one time,

00:19:00.000 and now it's not,

00:19:01.240 like that,

00:19:01.880 melt,

00:19:02.760 and he,

00:19:04.120 would,

00:19:04.960 he tried to hook up with my girlfriend,

00:19:07.940 and at first,

00:19:08.620 I thought,

00:19:08.960 man,

00:19:09.240 I'm just high,

00:19:10.020 dude,

00:19:10.180 I'm so fucking high,

00:19:11.880 that I think that this,

00:19:13.280 that my uncle,

00:19:14.500 or great uncle,

00:19:15.260 is trying to bang my chick,

00:19:17.240 and I don't even know,

00:19:18.100 if we were banging,

00:19:19.540 so,

00:19:20.720 I mean,

00:19:21.160 that's pretty ballsy of him,

00:19:22.380 you know,

00:19:22.660 I mean,

00:19:22.820 it's nice of him to assume,

00:19:23.960 that I'm making,

00:19:24.660 that I'm getting sex,

00:19:25.900 but it's also,

00:19:26.960 kind of fucked up of him,

00:19:28.700 if I'm not,

00:19:29.500 to think I'm going to let him,

00:19:30.920 bang my girlfriend first,

00:19:32.260 before I get to bang her,

00:19:33.940 you know,

00:19:34.300 I'm young,

00:19:35.160 I'm working towards those sexual goals,

00:19:37.160 you know,

00:19:37.380 as a child,

00:19:38.840 and,

00:19:40.140 so anyway,

00:19:41.500 I thought I was like,

00:19:42.420 damn,

00:19:42.600 I'm so fucking high,

00:19:43.700 dude,

00:19:43.860 I think this old dude,

00:19:44.720 is trying to fuck my girlfriend,

00:19:46.940 and I'm like,

00:19:47.440 this shit is,

00:19:49.320 this is some killer weed,

00:19:51.380 you know,

00:19:51.640 because I've been around,

00:19:52.360 I mean,

00:19:52.500 I was high on some weed one time,

00:19:54.300 where I couldn't,

00:19:54.900 bend my legs one time,

00:19:57.800 and it wouldn't have been bad,

00:19:58.860 but I was standing up,

00:19:59.740 when I started smoking,

00:20:01.000 if I'd have been sitting down,

00:20:02.680 no issue,

00:20:04.640 you know,

00:20:05.200 but when I'm standing up already,

00:20:06.820 and then I can't bend my legs,

00:20:08.200 that's,

00:20:09.100 you know,

00:20:09.560 it was just hell,

00:20:10.360 dude,

00:20:10.520 I'd have a friend of mine,

00:20:11.560 pick me up and lay me down,

00:20:13.380 and I've been high,

00:20:14.220 you know,

00:20:14.400 where you can't,

00:20:15.420 you don't know what's going on,

00:20:16.700 right,

00:20:16.920 but,

00:20:17.200 but I hadn't been,

00:20:17.920 I hadn't been high,

00:20:18.680 where I'm like,

00:20:19.040 holy shit,

00:20:19.700 dude,

00:20:19.840 this old dude's trying to bang my lady,

00:20:21.720 and that's some killer shit,

00:20:24.620 but turns out,

00:20:25.660 anyway,

00:20:26.040 anyway,

00:20:26.340 fast forward,

00:20:26.900 my mom and I kind of reconciled,

00:20:29.320 and,

00:20:29.660 and,

00:20:30.420 and,

00:20:30.620 and I didn't go back over there much after that,

00:20:32.680 and then my mom and I were talking one time,

00:20:34.760 and,

00:20:34.860 you know,

00:20:35.520 I'm just telling her,

00:20:36.120 we're talking about family and stuff,

00:20:37.260 and I'm telling her about Uncle Melton,

00:20:38.600 and she said,

00:20:40.780 she's like,

00:20:41.280 who?

00:20:42.640 And I'm like,

00:20:44.060 Uncle Melt,

00:20:45.880 you know,

00:20:46.560 Melton,

00:20:47.220 I guess,

00:20:47.680 I assumed it was,

00:20:48.920 you know,

00:20:49.420 short for Melton,

00:20:51.420 if that's even,

00:20:52.440 if that's even a name now,

00:20:53.720 I don't even know,

00:20:54.480 it doesn't sound like a name now that I'm saying it,

00:20:56.100 Melton,

00:20:57.500 have I met anybody in Melton?

00:20:58.940 I don't,

00:20:59.300 I don't know,

00:21:00.060 but,

00:21:00.720 she's like,

00:21:01.120 you don't have,

00:21:01.480 you don't,

00:21:01.720 she's like,

00:21:02.060 what Uncle Melt?

00:21:02.700 And I'm describing her,

00:21:04.040 she's like,

00:21:04.280 you don't even have an Uncle Melt.

00:21:06.600 You don't have an Uncle Melton.

00:21:08.640 And I'm like,

00:21:09.460 holy shit,

00:21:10.320 dude.

00:21:11.740 And that was it,

00:21:12.740 man.

00:21:13.100 So,

00:21:13.360 some dude,

00:21:13.920 I don't even know,

00:21:15.880 found me,

00:21:17.520 somehow,

00:21:17.920 through the school system,

00:21:19.700 hung out with me and my girlfriend,

00:21:21.760 got us fucked up,

00:21:22.600 trying to bang my girlfriend,

00:21:24.440 like a senior citizen,

00:21:25.500 dude,

00:21:25.640 that I don't even know.

00:21:28.240 So,

00:21:29.120 you want to talk about the Special Olympics,

00:21:31.320 we've all been out there in some damn Special Olympics.

00:21:35.220 You know,

00:21:35.600 we've all had some hurdles,

00:21:37.300 and some,

00:21:37.980 you know,

00:21:38.760 some things,

00:21:39.320 some shot put,

00:21:40.220 something we've had to get off our chest.

00:21:43.940 You know,

00:21:44.480 we've all done some,

00:21:45.460 you know,

00:21:45.720 we've,

00:21:46.040 I mean,

00:21:46.260 I remember the first time I ever did cocaine,

00:21:47.960 man,

00:21:48.060 I was running.

00:21:48.760 Somebody told me it was a performance enhancing drug.

00:21:50.640 So,

00:21:51.860 next thing you know,

00:21:52.260 I'm out there on a couple of grams of that white,

00:21:54.680 you know,

00:21:55.660 or that fluff of duff-a-less,

00:21:57.320 bruh,

00:21:58.060 or that,

00:21:58.820 ooh,

00:22:02.400 you know,

00:22:03.680 and next thing you know,

00:22:04.620 I ran seven miles,

00:22:06.020 dude,

00:22:06.200 in a pair of orange umbros,

00:22:07.900 out there in Baton Rouge,

00:22:09.020 Louisiana,

00:22:09.460 near the railroad tracks.

00:22:11.380 How on cocaine did I stop every mile,

00:22:13.280 and cup up on that dust,

00:22:15.240 and keep cruising?

00:22:16.800 That's where I was at,

00:22:17.880 you know.

00:22:18.840 So,

00:22:19.260 we've all been through some Olympics,

00:22:20.640 you know,

00:22:21.060 we've all been through,

00:22:22.480 and I'm not knocking the Special Olympics,

00:22:25.460 man,

00:22:25.800 because here's the thing,

00:22:26.640 I'll tell you this,

00:22:27.260 if I know if I had a heavy affliction,

00:22:30.080 you know,

00:22:30.300 if I had a,

00:22:30.800 if I had a syndrome,

00:22:32.420 or something that was real strong like that,

00:22:34.660 I don't know that I would,

00:22:37.120 that I would,

00:22:39.140 be brave enough to then compete.

00:22:43.200 I mean,

00:22:43.620 I'm afraid to compete if my hair's a little off.

00:22:46.540 You know,

00:22:46.920 I get nervous and self-conscious.

00:22:48.360 If my DNA's a little bit wrangled,

00:22:51.520 who even knows?

00:22:54.180 You know,

00:22:54.820 if I got split ends on my TGAC cells or whatever,

00:23:00.760 you know,

00:23:01.420 who knows?

00:23:02.180 Who knows if I'd be out there competing,

00:23:03.820 like a lot of these brave women and men and children.

00:23:06.700 Hold on,

00:23:06.940 this cord just came out,

00:23:07.740 I got to put it back in.

00:23:09.120 All right.

00:23:11.300 What else,

00:23:12.260 man?

00:23:12.700 I know this,

00:23:14.160 that Gray Block Pizza is our charter sponsor.

00:23:17.620 And if you're in Los Angeles,

00:23:18.640 you go over to 1811 Pico Boulevard,

00:23:22.040 stop in,

00:23:22.960 and get that here.

00:23:24.900 They got all that magic,

00:23:26.320 boy.

00:23:27.120 They got them Bella Goat.

00:23:29.220 They got that Picante Pollo.

00:23:31.560 They got the deep cheese.

00:23:34.880 How deep?

00:23:36.160 So deep.

00:23:38.480 So go over there,

00:23:39.240 Gray Block Pizza.

00:23:40.460 The link will be in the comments.

00:23:43.500 And we're grateful to them.

00:23:45.060 As well,

00:23:45.600 man,

00:23:45.720 I'm letting you guys know,

00:23:46.460 I'll be at Harvey's in Portland next weekend.

00:23:48.660 Portland,

00:23:49.020 Oregon,

00:23:49.680 February 8th through 11th.

00:23:51.240 February 16th through 18th,

00:23:52.520 I'll be in La Jolla at the Comedy Store.

00:23:55.760 22nd through the 24th,

00:23:57.340 February in Indio,

00:23:59.020 California Fantasy Springs Casino.

00:24:00.920 March 15th and 16th,

00:24:02.360 Tacoma Comedy Club.

00:24:03.980 March 17th,

00:24:04.940 Spokane Comedy Club.

00:24:06.660 And April 6th and 7th,

00:24:08.080 Tampa,

00:24:08.620 Florida at Rock Brothers Brewing.

00:24:11.620 And everything is available.

00:24:13.060 Those are all available on the website,

00:24:15.580 theovahn.com slash tour.

00:24:18.120 T-O-U-R.

00:24:20.960 Dude,

00:24:21.380 I get this email.

00:24:22.120 You know what?

00:24:23.080 You want to know some kind of shit I'm tired of,

00:24:25.040 man?

00:24:25.580 I get this email the other day.

00:24:27.300 It says sign a petition for people to stop taking selfies with tigers.

00:24:33.700 And this is in Indy,

00:24:34.640 I'm thinking,

00:24:35.380 you know,

00:24:35.620 because that's tiger country,

00:24:36.780 Bali,

00:24:37.460 you know,

00:24:38.420 Malaysia,

00:24:39.760 somewhere where there's a jungle.

00:24:41.280 Because you ain't just going to find a,

00:24:42.920 you know,

00:24:43.480 you don't find a tiger out there,

00:24:45.480 you know,

00:24:46.160 on a basketball court.

00:24:47.480 You find a tiger on a jungle.

00:24:50.200 And,

00:24:50.600 and this,

00:24:52.180 and this email is like,

00:24:54.260 you got to sign this petition.

00:24:55.280 We already have like 150,000.

00:24:57.420 And I'm like,

00:24:57.900 what the,

00:24:58.580 what is this shit?

00:25:01.280 These are tigers,

00:25:02.580 dude.

00:25:04.340 Okay.

00:25:04.900 And,

00:25:05.160 and this is,

00:25:06.100 it might be a little bit of a messy,

00:25:08.020 um,

00:25:08.760 exchange over there,

00:25:10.080 wherever,

00:25:10.420 whatever,

00:25:10.960 whatever second or third,

00:25:12.340 or maybe fourth world country.

00:25:13.600 This is where some brave person is next to a tiger and,

00:25:19.620 uh,

00:25:20.240 trying to get the tiger to take a selfie with a tourist.

00:25:25.000 But,

00:25:25.680 but,

00:25:27.340 but that's a huge business probably there for them.

00:25:32.000 And we don't have to have that business here because we're pretty fortunate,

00:25:35.140 but that dude or that lady has to have that business.

00:25:40.100 You don't know how many people are eating because that,

00:25:42.180 that tiger is out there doing work.

00:25:44.840 You know,

00:25:45.360 it's like a stripper in America.

00:25:48.620 And you want,

00:25:49.340 I'll tell you when you want to know when that tiger,

00:25:50.900 when that tiger is ready to stop taking selfies,

00:25:53.100 that tiger will let you know.

00:25:57.000 People out here signing a fucking petition.

00:25:59.980 What are you doing?

00:26:00.780 You want to go save a tiger?

00:26:03.640 Go,

00:26:04.140 go to,

00:26:04.480 go to your local strip club and pull one of them pretty kittens off stage.

00:26:09.840 Cause that's the same exact thing.

00:26:12.920 And you can say,

00:26:13.900 well,

00:26:13.960 it's not,

00:26:14.480 well,

00:26:14.560 it's this,

00:26:15.080 well,

00:26:15.200 it's that it's not.

00:26:16.400 That's the same thing.

00:26:18.680 Somebody using something to make money out there.

00:26:23.300 And you think you're taking advantage,

00:26:24.740 drive over to strip club.

00:26:26.760 Let the bouncer,

00:26:27.700 let big Henry,

00:26:30.020 you know,

00:26:30.780 who's a,

00:26:31.220 who's probably a big African American man or a big,

00:26:34.240 uh,

00:26:34.860 a white guy with a neck tattoo.

00:26:38.160 Let big Henry.

00:26:41.160 Who,

00:26:41.800 who,

00:26:42.080 who,

00:26:42.300 let big Henry,

00:26:43.440 uh,

00:26:44.240 see how he feels about letting you take that tiger off stage,

00:26:47.600 about getting that pretty down off the stage,

00:26:50.920 man.

00:26:52.680 I don't even know,

00:26:53.540 dude.

00:26:56.760 It's just one of those.

00:26:57.740 Is it one of those weeks?

00:26:59.220 I don't even know.

00:27:00.660 I don't even know.

00:27:02.060 But that,

00:27:02.620 like,

00:27:02.820 how is that an issue?

00:27:04.740 Who's laying it?

00:27:05.680 That's your issue.

00:27:07.240 Then go over there.

00:27:08.600 Rassle it out.

00:27:10.220 Go free that tiger,

00:27:11.520 dude.

00:27:12.280 You seen that movie?

00:27:13.420 Where that boy ends up in a boat with the tiger?

00:27:15.520 Go take your chances.

00:27:17.260 Go take your chances with that cat.

00:27:20.100 Cause that cat,

00:27:21.160 dude,

00:27:21.320 a tiger will lick your skull open.

00:27:26.340 A tiger could,

00:27:27.100 I bet,

00:27:27.400 open your skull

00:27:28.300 just with the friction of his tongue against your bone.

00:27:32.660 So you're out here being like,

00:27:33.620 and you're out here being like a dang jackass.

00:27:37.580 Speaking of a jackass,

00:27:38.880 man,

00:27:39.160 I'll tell you this little news story.

00:27:41.480 The great donkey escape,

00:27:42.740 a lone donkey,

00:27:44.780 was found leading a herd of goats

00:27:46.700 and sheep through residential streets

00:27:49.180 of West Covina,

00:27:50.380 California,

00:27:51.280 after escaping from a property

00:27:52.760 in a neighboring city on Thursday.

00:27:56.800 Officers responded to the area of

00:27:58.640 Francisquito and Valinda

00:28:01.040 around 1230 a.m.

00:28:02.820 after receiving a call of a group of animals

00:28:04.380 roaming a neighborhood,

00:28:05.960 according to a post on the

00:28:06.960 West Covina Police Department's Facebook page.

00:28:09.660 Police discovered the donkey,

00:28:10.980 goats,

00:28:11.280 and sheep slipped through an

00:28:12.620 unsecured gate from a property.

00:28:14.460 Is this the script of Madagascar?

00:28:16.220 I feel like I just read the script of Madagascar.

00:28:19.920 But I would guess,

00:28:20.800 honestly,

00:28:21.500 let's be,

00:28:21.900 let's be,

00:28:22.400 let's think about this,

00:28:23.480 that that donkey was probably down there

00:28:25.280 doing some of those sex shows.

00:28:28.240 And everybody thinks about the lady,

00:28:30.020 you know,

00:28:30.580 but you want to go rescue something

00:28:31.820 instead of people signing up to take a,

00:28:34.200 you know,

00:28:34.900 go down to Mexico.

00:28:36.400 Just check,

00:28:36.860 look in the donkey's eyes

00:28:38.020 and see if they are okay

00:28:39.680 with making love to these women.

00:28:41.300 You'll know.

00:28:42.320 The animal will give you a look.

00:28:44.900 But obviously they're not.

00:28:46.360 If this one's heading north,

00:28:48.600 you know,

00:28:49.580 this donkey probably running out of there.

00:28:51.420 They should have checked,

00:28:52.000 see if he had a couple condoms in his pocket.

00:28:53.740 You know,

00:28:54.400 maybe it was that donkey.

00:28:56.600 But things are going haywire right now,

00:28:58.460 I guess.

00:28:59.620 This episode's haywire.

00:29:00.520 I don't even know what this episode's about.

00:29:01.760 But I don't know what anything's about.

00:29:08.340 Man,

00:29:08.960 man,

00:29:09.440 I've just been feeling,

00:29:10.020 for some reason I've just been feeling testy.

00:29:12.420 I've been feeling testy.

00:29:14.300 And I don't know why.

00:29:16.720 You know,

00:29:17.240 I don't know why.

00:29:17.900 I've been trying to stay calm and stay chill.

00:29:19.840 I got that new bed.

00:29:20.820 That's a place I can rest.

00:29:23.440 You know,

00:29:24.000 I just,

00:29:24.680 I guess I'm just nervous.

00:29:26.040 I guess I'm just nervous about,

00:29:28.220 you know,

00:29:28.660 some stuff going on.

00:29:30.120 But I tried out for the Tonight Show.

00:29:32.980 I sent in a tape,

00:29:33.660 and I didn't get it.

00:29:35.340 So that kind of,

00:29:37.580 you know,

00:29:40.140 it just made me feel,

00:29:40.920 I guess,

00:29:42.640 I don't know if it made me feel like I'm not good enough as a comedian.

00:29:48.980 It just made me feel,

00:29:51.480 you know what it made me feel?

00:29:52.440 It made me feel that somebody should start a Hollywood

00:29:54.640 that creates entertainment

00:29:58.200 and not one

00:30:00.020 that

00:30:01.080 is just

00:30:02.700 in the business

00:30:04.840 of

00:30:06.200 of

00:30:09.780 Hollywood's just gotten so

00:30:12.720 political,

00:30:13.820 I feel like.

00:30:15.340 You know?

00:30:16.140 And not one that's just in the business of entertaining advertisers.

00:30:20.560 You know,

00:30:21.000 and a lot of people will say,

00:30:21.800 well, look,

00:30:22.100 you're not going to have the business

00:30:23.080 if you don't have the advertisers.

00:30:24.460 True.

00:30:25.120 But I think that there's a great opportunity out there right now

00:30:27.500 for somebody to make good entertainment,

00:30:29.060 to bring it along,

00:30:30.460 and people will get on board.

00:30:32.700 Because some of the shit that's out there now, man,

00:30:34.520 there's some good stuff,

00:30:35.320 but damn, dude.

00:30:37.420 I don't know if I've ever seen as many bad movies as I saw recently.

00:30:40.740 Every one.

00:30:41.380 I just,

00:30:42.360 come on.

00:30:45.480 So anyway,

00:30:46.140 I guess, yeah,

00:30:46.520 it just made me feel,

00:30:48.100 you know,

00:30:48.440 it just made me mad.

00:30:49.680 Because I know the people that do get on there,

00:30:51.400 and I'm on no discredit to them,

00:30:53.260 but I know that I'm as good as some of those comedians.

00:30:55.840 And,

00:30:56.140 and it's just hard.

00:30:58.240 They don't,

00:30:58.520 you know,

00:30:59.380 you know,

00:31:00.180 they,

00:31:00.460 they,

00:31:00.640 they,

00:31:01.080 it seems like you have a southern accent

00:31:02.580 or you're from a certain place

00:31:04.000 and a lot of these,

00:31:05.200 a lot of these Hollywood channels

00:31:06.420 don't want to embrace you

00:31:07.620 or give you an opportunity.

00:31:09.160 Because you don't,

00:31:10.460 just the sound of your voice

00:31:11.560 makes them think that

00:31:12.540 you are

00:31:14.520 not part of their

00:31:16.120 world

00:31:17.140 or not good enough to be in their world

00:31:18.860 or just your accent

00:31:19.780 or,

00:31:20.640 you know,

00:31:21.220 you know,

00:31:23.200 even,

00:31:23.660 and Hollywood pisses me off,

00:31:25.120 man.

00:31:26.080 You know,

00:31:26.320 Hollywood's all about like,

00:31:27.820 you know,

00:31:28.260 diversity and this and that now.

00:31:30.300 Two years ago,

00:31:31.760 black people were,

00:31:33.560 had to beg

00:31:34.780 and boycott Hollywood

00:31:36.340 to even get awards.

00:31:37.760 Do you remember that?

00:31:39.040 Two years ago.

00:31:43.080 Two years ago.

00:31:45.140 Ah,

00:31:45.400 you know what I'm going to do right now then?

00:31:46.860 If I'm not feeling good,

00:31:47.720 I'm going to quit thinking about myself

00:31:49.020 and I'm going to start,

00:31:50.200 let's check into some of these calls.

00:31:51.940 You guys had some calls that came in

00:31:53.420 and I appreciate them.

00:31:54.780 I appreciate you guys

00:31:55.420 putting up with me

00:31:56.340 today on this episode.

00:31:58.260 It's just kind of,

00:31:59.920 I guess it's got a lot on the brain.

00:32:01.880 You know,

00:32:02.140 as always,

00:32:02.720 if you have,

00:32:03.680 if you have an issue,

00:32:04.660 you can hit the hotline

00:32:05.480 985-664-9503

00:32:09.400 and talk to us.

00:32:10.880 Leave us a voicemail

00:32:11.980 if you're struggling with something

00:32:13.880 and you believe that

00:32:15.580 myself or someone else

00:32:17.060 can offer some basic life suggestions,

00:32:19.220 then we'd love to hear

00:32:20.560 what's going on.

00:32:22.600 Again,

00:32:23.020 that number is

00:32:23.340 985-664-9503.

00:32:26.340 All right,

00:32:26.700 let's listen to

00:32:28.040 this call came in.

00:32:30.280 Here we go.

00:32:31.320 Hey,

00:32:31.580 Theo.

00:32:32.420 You brought up

00:32:32.940 the government shutdown.

00:32:33.740 It was real quick.

00:32:35.040 You sort of said,

00:32:36.340 good,

00:32:37.080 you're happy

00:32:37.520 that the government

00:32:37.980 shut down.

00:32:38.540 He's saying

00:32:39.740 last week,

00:32:40.620 on last week's episode,

00:32:41.540 I brought up

00:32:41.860 the government shutdown.

00:32:43.040 Yes,

00:32:43.240 I did.

00:32:44.320 Yep,

00:32:44.720 and I said it was good.

00:32:46.040 I was glad the government

00:32:46.700 shut down.

00:32:47.660 Now,

00:32:47.900 if we could just get

00:32:48.440 the news media

00:32:49.200 to shut down,

00:32:49.840 we might be able

00:32:50.840 to get a little bit

00:32:51.320 of peace.

00:32:53.000 I was kind of joking.

00:32:54.200 Onward.

00:32:54.460 you'll be fine.

00:32:55.440 You got a job.

00:32:56.800 There's nothing

00:32:57.320 really wrong with that,

00:32:58.260 I guess.

00:32:58.580 It's just that

00:32:59.240 I think you just

00:33:00.700 didn't know

00:33:01.260 sort of a big point

00:33:03.160 about it.

00:33:03.920 The reality is that

00:33:05.040 the people that

00:33:06.280 shut it down,

00:33:07.360 you know,

00:33:07.580 the senators,

00:33:09.080 the House,

00:33:10.700 those people,

00:33:11.840 they still get paid.

00:33:12.960 They're still working

00:33:13.640 that whole time.

00:33:15.380 Their pay is actually

00:33:16.780 permanently authorized

00:33:17.760 by the U.S. Constitution,

00:33:19.400 so it never stops.

00:33:21.140 Wow.

00:33:21.740 I didn't know that.

00:33:22.560 So,

00:33:22.800 government shutdown,

00:33:23.460 the big dogs

00:33:25.160 still get that feed.

00:33:26.680 They still get that

00:33:27.500 kibble and

00:33:27.980 Benjamins.

00:33:30.900 Onward.

00:33:32.660 What the people

00:33:33.420 it does affect,

00:33:34.560 you know,

00:33:34.740 those are people like me.

00:33:36.620 It does stop

00:33:37.320 for people like us

00:33:38.180 and we do stop

00:33:39.340 getting paid.

00:33:40.420 You know,

00:33:40.580 like a little about me

00:33:41.760 and how it affected me

00:33:42.880 was I got a lot of bills,

00:33:45.180 you know,

00:33:45.680 and basically,

00:33:47.280 out of nowhere,

00:33:48.140 I get put on

00:33:49.260 what's called furlough

00:33:50.060 and I'm basically told,

00:33:51.140 hey,

00:33:51.700 you're not getting

00:33:52.200 a paycheck.

00:33:52.600 You're not working.

00:33:54.480 You're going to have a job

00:33:55.380 when it's over,

00:33:56.040 but who knows

00:33:58.180 when that's going to be.

00:33:59.080 You know,

00:33:59.260 in 2013,

00:34:00.160 it was like three weeks,

00:34:01.640 I think,

00:34:02.000 two,

00:34:02.300 two weeks.

00:34:03.900 For the DOD,

00:34:04.740 it was a little less

00:34:05.380 because the work I do

00:34:06.940 is considered

00:34:08.840 mission critical.

00:34:10.620 Okay,

00:34:11.080 wow.

00:34:11.440 So,

00:34:11.760 so you're saying that

00:34:12.780 as a,

00:34:14.540 as more of a

00:34:15.580 boots-on-the-ground

00:34:16.420 employee

00:34:16.920 that you

00:34:18.480 don't get paid.

00:34:19.460 yeah,

00:34:20.940 you're right,

00:34:21.300 I didn't know that.

00:34:22.560 You know,

00:34:22.900 I didn't know that.

00:34:23.460 I didn't know that

00:34:23.860 when government shut down,

00:34:24.900 like what really occurs,

00:34:26.060 you know,

00:34:26.360 I didn't think that

00:34:26.940 a lot of people

00:34:27.440 don't get

00:34:28.280 paid.

00:34:32.460 You know,

00:34:32.940 and I bet

00:34:33.240 there was probably

00:34:33.580 a moment for you

00:34:34.320 when you're not

00:34:34.840 getting paid

00:34:35.300 where you're starting

00:34:35.900 to,

00:34:36.520 I bet it really,

00:34:38.200 that's when you

00:34:38.980 start feeling,

00:34:39.680 I bet,

00:34:41.040 like what the fuck

00:34:41.980 is going on?

00:34:43.080 What's going on

00:34:43.800 in my country?

00:34:44.500 What's,

00:34:44.880 who's making

00:34:45.460 these choices?

00:34:47.000 I bet it's,

00:34:47.620 you know,

00:34:47.860 like not judging you,

00:34:49.100 I mean,

00:34:49.200 I'm sorry to hear that

00:34:50.100 and I think

00:34:50.720 that's bullshit.

00:34:52.980 You know,

00:34:53.620 I don't think

00:34:54.180 that people

00:34:54.560 that serve

00:34:56.640 in our military

00:34:57.500 or who,

00:34:59.200 or teachers,

00:35:00.720 I don't think

00:35:01.520 those people

00:35:02.060 get paid enough

00:35:02.680 at all

00:35:03.080 and I'm not

00:35:04.520 grouping those

00:35:05.100 together because,

00:35:06.000 you know,

00:35:06.500 teachers can't

00:35:07.020 throw grenades

00:35:07.580 but,

00:35:08.980 but I'm just saying

00:35:11.320 I've always thought

00:35:11.960 that.

00:35:13.040 But,

00:35:13.520 I bet there was

00:35:13.960 a moment where

00:35:14.540 once you realize

00:35:15.180 that you're not

00:35:15.820 getting paid,

00:35:16.500 I bet that makes

00:35:17.280 you perk up.

00:35:19.620 You know,

00:35:20.040 that makes you perk up

00:35:20.980 when somebody

00:35:21.400 cuts those lifelines

00:35:22.440 off,

00:35:22.740 you know,

00:35:22.980 the,

00:35:23.200 which you're,

00:35:23.660 we know what we

00:35:24.280 need to survive

00:35:25.020 that money

00:35:25.540 when we need

00:35:26.020 to,

00:35:26.380 you know,

00:35:26.920 take care of

00:35:27.660 ourselves to pay

00:35:28.180 our bills

00:35:28.600 like you're

00:35:28.900 talking about.

00:35:29.800 It makes you

00:35:30.200 perk up.

00:35:31.320 It makes you

00:35:31.900 see,

00:35:32.140 well,

00:35:32.220 who's doing

00:35:32.640 what?

00:35:33.340 Who's not

00:35:33.940 helping,

00:35:34.340 who's not

00:35:35.100 passing the laws

00:35:36.120 or signing

00:35:36.580 the bills

00:35:37.100 or,

00:35:37.660 you know.

00:35:39.560 And it seems

00:35:40.280 these days

00:35:40.740 that a lot

00:35:41.660 of it is ego

00:35:42.220 with these,

00:35:42.740 with these

00:35:44.360 political parties.

00:35:45.820 That they're at

00:35:46.120 the point

00:35:46.400 where it's just

00:35:46.780 ego.

00:35:48.120 You know,

00:35:48.320 one of them

00:35:48.600 doesn't want to

00:35:49.420 help just because

00:35:50.080 they don't want

00:35:50.660 to,

00:35:51.640 they personally

00:35:53.260 don't want to

00:35:54.240 seem helpful.

00:35:56.820 And I think

00:35:57.480 it's long been

00:35:58.260 that way.

00:35:59.040 But now it's just

00:35:59.860 getting more and

00:36:00.440 more evident.

00:36:02.080 But I bet that,

00:36:02.820 you know,

00:36:03.160 and I'm not

00:36:04.060 trying to find

00:36:04.500 a silver

00:36:04.980 lining in

00:36:05.500 this for

00:36:05.860 you,

00:36:06.220 but I'm,

00:36:07.580 you know,

00:36:08.260 like,

00:36:09.440 I bet it's,

00:36:10.360 I bet that that's

00:36:10.980 when you get

00:36:11.440 alive,

00:36:11.980 that you get

00:36:12.400 awakened to

00:36:13.100 the fact that

00:36:13.740 what the fuck's

00:36:15.100 really going on

00:36:15.860 here?

00:36:16.800 Because it's not

00:36:17.600 until we're

00:36:18.060 affected really

00:36:18.980 that we,

00:36:19.820 that we spruce

00:36:20.800 up.

00:36:21.740 You know,

00:36:21.960 it's not until

00:36:22.400 we're affected

00:36:23.080 that we,

00:36:24.180 you know,

00:36:24.620 it makes you

00:36:25.300 turn,

00:36:25.720 it makes you

00:36:26.100 see what's

00:36:26.640 going on.

00:36:27.260 You know,

00:36:29.400 that's when

00:36:29.800 you get

00:36:30.100 alert.

00:36:32.000 And so,

00:36:33.220 we probably

00:36:35.500 all need that.

00:36:37.120 We probably

00:36:37.660 all need a

00:36:38.200 couple days

00:36:38.580 where somebody

00:36:39.020 cut,

00:36:39.560 you know,

00:36:40.260 where our

00:36:40.680 supply is cut

00:36:41.600 and we got

00:36:41.920 to look around.

00:36:43.200 Because we get,

00:36:43.880 you know,

00:36:44.400 we get,

00:36:44.860 we get comfortable

00:36:45.900 on the tit in

00:36:46.580 America.

00:36:47.520 And that's even

00:36:48.200 just the tit if

00:36:48.760 we're just working

00:36:49.400 or what we're

00:36:49.840 doing.

00:36:51.520 You know,

00:36:52.000 no matter what

00:36:52.440 we're doing,

00:36:53.160 we get comfortable

00:36:53.780 on the tit.

00:36:54.980 But I didn't

00:36:55.760 know that.

00:36:56.360 And I didn't

00:36:56.860 know that our

00:36:57.240 congressmen

00:36:57.780 and our

00:36:58.040 senators still

00:36:59.020 get paid.

00:37:01.860 But I thank

00:37:02.580 you for your

00:37:02.940 service,

00:37:03.300 man.

00:37:03.400 You're braver

00:37:03.840 than I am.

00:37:04.940 That's for sure.

00:37:05.980 I've always

00:37:06.400 thought that you

00:37:06.820 guys should,

00:37:07.380 should get,

00:37:09.020 your vote should

00:37:09.720 count for a

00:37:10.240 vote and a

00:37:10.600 quarter or a

00:37:11.120 vote and a

00:37:11.480 half if you

00:37:13.000 served in our

00:37:13.520 country.

00:37:14.260 I think you

00:37:14.680 put more on

00:37:15.120 the line.

00:37:17.480 Onward.

00:37:18.140 Let's,

00:37:18.460 let's get into

00:37:19.140 some calls here.

00:37:19.740 We had a call

00:37:20.320 here.

00:37:22.400 All right.

00:37:22.860 In last episode,

00:37:23.780 we had a man,

00:37:24.700 a young man

00:37:25.220 call in,

00:37:25.700 Jose Ochoa,

00:37:26.780 who was

00:37:27.240 calling,

00:37:27.800 asking about

00:37:29.360 advice and

00:37:30.800 questions as

00:37:32.060 to if he

00:37:32.560 was going to,

00:37:33.400 he wanted to

00:37:33.940 drop out of

00:37:34.420 college against

00:37:36.280 his,

00:37:36.940 against one of

00:37:38.060 his parents'

00:37:38.600 wishes,

00:37:39.000 his stepfather,

00:37:39.820 I believe,

00:37:40.220 or his

00:37:40.440 father.

00:37:41.320 And he,

00:37:42.740 he wanted some

00:37:43.640 suggestions from

00:37:44.600 us on that.

00:37:45.240 and I gave

00:37:46.400 him a couple

00:37:46.680 of ideas and

00:37:47.460 you guys also

00:37:48.080 hit the hotline

00:37:48.720 with some.

00:37:49.340 So Jose,

00:37:49.800 here are a few

00:37:50.480 for you and

00:37:51.700 just a few

00:37:52.500 thoughts in

00:37:52.940 general on

00:37:53.360 that.

00:37:53.880 He,

00:37:54.020 you know,

00:37:54.160 he was worried

00:37:54.480 about disappointing

00:37:55.140 his father who

00:37:55.820 was first

00:37:56.180 generation here

00:37:56.940 in New

00:37:57.180 America.

00:37:59.260 You know,

00:37:59.840 and just a lot

00:38:00.480 of what goes

00:38:00.920 on with that

00:38:01.580 and what his

00:38:02.560 life would look

00:38:03.040 like.

00:38:03.200 He wanted to

00:38:03.620 start his own

00:38:04.180 business.

00:38:05.200 And here were

00:38:05.620 some calls.

00:38:06.260 Onward.

00:38:06.500 What's up,

00:38:08.000 Theoban?

00:38:08.500 This is Jose

00:38:09.100 from Las Vegas,

00:38:10.100 Nevada.

00:38:11.280 Okay,

00:38:11.440 and this is not

00:38:11.860 the same Jose.

00:38:12.600 This is a

00:38:13.040 different Jose.

00:38:15.000 And I could

00:38:15.620 easily make a

00:38:16.180 no way Jose

00:38:17.200 joke here,

00:38:17.800 but I'm not

00:38:18.220 gonna.

00:38:18.780 But I just

00:38:19.320 sort of

00:38:19.860 inversely did

00:38:20.880 right there.

00:38:21.480 But this is

00:38:21.960 not the same

00:38:22.440 Jose who

00:38:22.840 called in

00:38:23.120 with the

00:38:23.300 problem.

00:38:23.620 Onward.

00:38:24.380 And this is

00:38:25.140 for Jose

00:38:26.660 Ochoa from

00:38:27.420 Phoenix,

00:38:27.800 Arizona.

00:38:28.960 Okay,

00:38:29.420 thank you,

00:38:29.820 Jose,

00:38:30.340 for calling

00:38:31.000 in about

00:38:31.560 Jose.

00:38:33.180 Jose on

00:38:33.800 first.

00:38:34.800 Nope.

00:38:35.400 Okay,

00:38:35.720 more.

00:38:36.500 So I got

00:38:36.960 a little

00:38:37.120 story to tell.

00:38:38.420 Man,

00:38:38.600 I gotta say,

00:38:39.060 college wasn't

00:38:39.460 up for me,

00:38:39.940 man.

00:38:40.780 I was honestly

00:38:41.720 tired of school,

00:38:42.620 sitting down

00:38:42.960 to a damn

00:38:43.300 desk.

00:38:44.520 But I started

00:38:45.160 to crack the

00:38:45.580 college.

00:38:46.660 I went for a

00:38:47.060 full semester

00:38:47.440 back in 2016.

00:38:48.520 I enjoyed it.

00:38:49.200 I enjoyed

00:38:49.480 learning,

00:38:50.040 being around

00:38:50.400 like 90

00:38:50.780 people,

00:38:52.460 talking to

00:38:52.800 the fine

00:38:53.060 ass girls.

00:38:54.600 But I

00:38:55.060 realized I

00:38:56.140 was gonna

00:38:56.320 spend a lot

00:38:56.660 of time,

00:38:57.060 money,

00:38:57.300 and effort

00:38:57.560 there.

00:38:57.900 And honestly,

00:38:58.340 I just wasn't

00:38:58.660 up for it

00:38:59.020 at the time

00:38:59.320 back in 2016.

00:39:00.900 So I said,

00:39:01.340 fuck it,

00:39:01.640 I didn't go

00:39:01.960 back.

00:39:03.540 A few months

00:39:04.160 later I did

00:39:04.640 The Unimaginable

00:39:05.340 and I rolled

00:39:06.000 myself in

00:39:06.620 massage therapy

00:39:07.560 school to be

00:39:08.440 a licensed

00:39:08.720 massage therapist.

00:39:10.160 Okay,

00:39:10.720 so he was

00:39:11.180 in college.

00:39:12.080 He didn't

00:39:12.660 like it that

00:39:13.180 much.

00:39:13.480 He liked

00:39:13.720 the fine

00:39:14.100 ass girls,

00:39:15.240 which,

00:39:16.380 yeah,

00:39:17.540 I feel

00:39:17.940 you,

00:39:18.140 bro.

00:39:20.020 There's

00:39:20.420 something about

00:39:20.760 college where

00:39:21.300 women go

00:39:21.780 there because

00:39:22.340 they want

00:39:24.220 to learn.

00:39:27.100 And that's

00:39:27.440 how you get

00:39:28.860 a woman with

00:39:29.300 some facts.

00:39:29.780 You gotta lay

00:39:30.100 some facts out

00:39:30.720 on the street

00:39:31.140 and when they

00:39:31.460 show up,

00:39:32.420 you get out

00:39:32.740 there and buy

00:39:33.260 a lot,

00:39:33.560 drop that

00:39:34.200 by-law

00:39:34.580 most on

00:39:35.160 them.

00:39:35.820 But here

00:39:36.140 we go

00:39:36.380 right here.

00:39:37.860 But now

00:39:38.380 he's in

00:39:38.600 massage therapy.

00:39:39.480 So you got

00:39:39.720 him in

00:39:39.880 massage therapy.

00:39:41.140 Still

00:39:41.460 catching with

00:39:41.980 them ladies.

00:39:42.460 Beautiful.

00:39:42.880 I kept

00:39:44.520 in mind

00:39:44.980 that this

00:39:45.400 is going

00:39:45.600 to be

00:39:45.800 a backup

00:39:46.060 if anything

00:39:46.420 goes to

00:39:46.740 shit in

00:39:46.960 my life.

00:39:48.200 And it's

00:39:48.560 a well-paying

00:39:49.500 job.

00:39:50.680 The point

00:39:51.080 is,

00:39:52.680 if you haven't

00:39:53.120 done a show

00:39:53.440 you like,

00:39:53.860 bro,

00:39:54.160 don't worry

00:39:54.460 about it.

00:39:55.680 I said,

00:39:56.040 finish your

00:39:56.340 degree for

00:39:56.800 a backup

00:39:57.200 if anything

00:39:57.740 goes to

00:39:58.100 shit.

00:39:58.740 You know,

00:39:58.940 a good

00:39:59.100 degree.

00:40:00.220 And with

00:40:00.500 time and

00:40:00.980 life

00:40:01.160 experience,

00:40:01.880 you'll

00:40:02.020 find your

00:40:02.360 likes,

00:40:02.720 dislikes,

00:40:03.040 and

00:40:03.120 talents.

00:40:04.580 By which

00:40:05.020 can it

00:40:05.280 be enabled

00:40:05.660 to not

00:40:06.000 be lazy?

00:40:09.680 And there

00:40:10.240 you go,

00:40:10.640 right there.

00:40:11.840 He's saying

00:40:12.480 right there,

00:40:13.140 take your

00:40:13.680 time.

00:40:14.760 He's saying

00:40:15.720 get the

00:40:16.040 degree,

00:40:16.420 take your

00:40:16.660 time,

00:40:17.280 you know,

00:40:18.160 because you

00:40:18.680 always have

00:40:19.120 it as a

00:40:19.400 backup.

00:40:20.680 You know,

00:40:21.000 you can try

00:40:21.400 something

00:40:21.700 different.

00:40:22.880 Take your

00:40:23.260 time.

00:40:23.920 You have

00:40:24.320 time.

00:40:25.140 You're going

00:40:25.380 to slowly

00:40:25.700 figure out

00:40:26.060 your likes,

00:40:26.660 dislikes,

00:40:27.100 and talents.

00:40:28.500 Just don't

00:40:29.220 be lazy.

00:40:30.400 I like

00:40:31.060 that.

00:40:31.800 Let's hear

00:40:32.200 another one

00:40:32.520 came in

00:40:32.780 for you,

00:40:33.040 Jose.

00:40:33.340 Here we

00:40:33.560 go.

00:40:34.220 This is a

00:40:34.660 call for

00:40:35.240 Mr.

00:40:36.020 Ochoa,

00:40:36.580 the 21

00:40:37.220 and a

00:40:37.840 half.

00:40:38.800 Okay,

00:40:39.340 man,

00:40:39.620 just get

00:40:40.540 her done,

00:40:41.120 finish

00:40:41.420 college.

00:40:42.860 I dropped

00:40:43.600 out when I

00:40:44.140 was 19,

00:40:45.340 and I

00:40:46.040 regretted it

00:40:46.940 for the

00:40:47.800 past nine

00:40:49.120 years.

00:40:50.300 And you

00:40:50.800 just got to

00:40:51.120 get in

00:40:51.400 there and

00:40:52.040 get her

00:40:52.260 done,

00:40:52.520 man.

00:40:52.640 Otherwise,

00:40:53.060 you're going

00:40:53.300 to end

00:40:53.480 up finding

00:40:55.020 some other

00:40:55.400 things to

00:40:55.740 do with

00:40:55.960 your time.

00:40:56.420 You could

00:40:56.620 hit the

00:40:56.900 bottle or

00:40:57.680 get into

00:40:58.700 drugs,

00:40:59.300 but just

00:40:59.660 focus on

00:41:00.340 a goal

00:41:00.760 and just

00:41:01.740 get her

00:41:02.000 done.

00:41:02.740 All right,

00:41:03.180 good luck

00:41:03.500 to you,

00:41:03.800 Ochoa.

00:41:04.420 Hope all

00:41:04.860 is well.

00:41:06.180 Boom,

00:41:06.620 there you

00:41:06.920 go.

00:41:07.820 That's some

00:41:08.300 sound advice

00:41:08.880 right there.

00:41:09.400 If you're,

00:41:10.260 you know,

00:41:10.500 because there

00:41:10.760 is one thing,

00:41:11.420 man,

00:41:11.500 if I go

00:41:11.800 back in

00:41:12.240 time,

00:41:13.840 you know,

00:41:14.220 if somebody

00:41:14.560 showed up

00:41:15.000 right now

00:41:15.400 and they

00:41:15.580 had a

00:41:15.820 big,

00:41:16.060 you know,

00:41:16.260 an empty

00:41:16.640 sack,

00:41:17.160 an empty

00:41:17.480 burlap

00:41:18.040 sack,

00:41:19.740 and I

00:41:20.020 said,

00:41:21.460 hey,

00:41:21.720 hey,

00:41:22.020 mister,

00:41:22.580 what's in

00:41:23.020 that sack

00:41:23.580 there?

00:41:24.280 And they

00:41:24.620 said,

00:41:25.000 oh,

00:41:25.140 they said,

00:41:26.560 this is a

00:41:27.100 porthole

00:41:27.520 back to

00:41:27.900 time.

00:41:29.500 You know,

00:41:29.960 that's the

00:41:30.400 only time

00:41:30.880 probably that

00:41:31.280 I would

00:41:31.460 crawl up

00:41:31.880 in a

00:41:32.060 man's

00:41:32.420 sack

00:41:32.720 right there.

00:41:34.180 So there

00:41:34.760 you go,

00:41:35.220 you know,

00:41:36.100 finishing it

00:41:37.200 up,

00:41:37.380 there's

00:41:37.520 something to

00:41:37.760 be said

00:41:38.100 for it.

00:41:39.220 Getting it

00:41:39.740 done because

00:41:40.120 you have

00:41:40.420 idle time,

00:41:41.880 that's the

00:41:42.840 devil's diving

00:41:43.780 board,

00:41:44.280 daddy.

00:41:45.480 And the

00:41:46.020 devil will

00:41:46.480 jump right

00:41:46.980 off of

00:41:47.260 anything

00:41:47.720 and land

00:41:49.700 in the

00:41:50.380 back of

00:41:50.840 your

00:41:51.080 fucking

00:41:51.580 ball bag.

00:41:53.600 So there

00:41:54.180 you go,

00:41:54.580 right there.

00:41:55.300 Let's take

00:41:55.640 one more

00:41:55.960 that came in.

00:41:56.460 Here we

00:41:56.700 go.

00:42:01.460 Thanks for

00:42:01.940 calling

00:42:02.140 Justin.

00:42:02.780 Onward.

00:42:03.400 And I'm

00:42:03.620 just

00:42:03.740 responding to

00:42:04.220 that

00:42:04.340 about his

00:42:05.680 decision about

00:42:06.220 going to

00:42:06.500 college.

00:42:07.160 And I just

00:42:07.780 want to say

00:42:08.080 I'm going

00:42:08.480 through the

00:42:08.700 same struggle

00:42:09.080 right now.

00:42:09.680 I'm trying

00:42:09.880 to finish

00:42:10.220 up.

00:42:10.500 I'm almost

00:42:10.800 done.

00:42:11.780 You know,

00:42:12.060 man,

00:42:12.360 it's tough,

00:42:13.020 you know,

00:42:13.180 because,

00:42:13.540 you know,

00:42:13.700 these classes

00:42:14.340 and stuff,

00:42:14.960 there's a lot

00:42:15.160 of,

00:42:15.480 you're on

00:42:15.840 procedure and

00:42:16.360 shit,

00:42:16.560 you gotta

00:42:16.720 take these

00:42:17.060 stupid

00:42:17.320 classes,

00:42:17.720 you don't

00:42:17.900 want to

00:42:18.080 take,

00:42:18.340 but man,

00:42:19.220 it's not

00:42:19.540 really about

00:42:19.900 the classes

00:42:20.380 at the end

00:42:20.800 of the day.

00:42:21.260 It's just

00:42:21.520 about meeting

00:42:22.020 people,

00:42:22.800 hanging out

00:42:23.400 with people.

00:42:24.200 I meet so

00:42:24.720 many people,

00:42:25.240 man,

00:42:25.380 I never

00:42:25.640 want to hang

00:42:25.980 out with

00:42:26.220 the same

00:42:26.580 people,

00:42:27.340 always hang

00:42:27.680 out with

00:42:27.880 different

00:42:28.060 people.

00:42:28.520 Explore

00:42:28.820 myself,

00:42:29.300 man,

00:42:29.960 because you

00:42:30.240 never know

00:42:30.620 who you

00:42:30.860 meet,

00:42:31.280 you know,

00:42:31.480 the connections

00:42:31.920 are real,

00:42:32.680 people you

00:42:33.100 meet are real.

00:42:34.040 Good luck

00:42:34.460 to you,

00:42:34.780 but man,

00:42:35.700 you may be

00:42:36.140 missing an

00:42:36.560 opportunity of a

00:42:37.200 lifetime,

00:42:37.660 man.

00:42:38.740 And you

00:42:39.200 know,

00:42:39.400 and that's

00:42:39.720 a good

00:42:39.940 point,

00:42:40.600 because you

00:42:41.060 ask anybody

00:42:41.700 if they

00:42:41.940 could go

00:42:42.220 back to

00:42:42.720 college,

00:42:43.260 who went

00:42:43.660 to college,

00:42:44.900 most people

00:42:45.700 would say

00:42:46.020 yes.

00:42:47.060 Most people

00:42:47.440 are going to

00:42:47.640 say yes.

00:42:48.660 I mean,

00:42:48.820 college is a

00:42:49.320 fun time.

00:42:49.800 You don't

00:42:49.980 get that

00:42:50.360 freedom.

00:42:51.760 You don't

00:42:52.100 get to be

00:42:52.620 that free

00:42:53.280 as you do

00:42:53.860 in college.

00:42:55.300 You know,

00:42:55.440 and I think

00:42:55.740 that is

00:42:56.060 something special

00:42:56.600 that's,

00:42:56.980 you know,

00:42:57.300 about being

00:42:57.700 in like a

00:42:58.080 four-year

00:42:58.540 university

00:42:59.180 and getting

00:43:00.080 that experience

00:43:00.700 of going

00:43:01.040 and living

00:43:01.460 on campus.

00:43:03.680 You just

00:43:04.200 don't get

00:43:04.600 it again.

00:43:05.200 You don't

00:43:05.420 even get

00:43:05.780 that time

00:43:06.400 in your

00:43:06.640 life.

00:43:07.200 Because as

00:43:08.520 you creep

00:43:08.900 up in age,

00:43:09.560 people just

00:43:09.900 think there's

00:43:10.260 more of

00:43:10.560 expectations

00:43:11.200 on you

00:43:11.880 from society.

00:43:13.320 And you

00:43:13.520 might start

00:43:14.060 to feel

00:43:14.380 that,

00:43:14.840 Mr. Ochoa.

00:43:16.200 But,

00:43:16.600 you know,

00:43:17.360 there's some

00:43:17.680 great outlooks

00:43:19.120 right there.

00:43:20.020 You know,

00:43:20.220 go ahead,

00:43:20.760 get it done

00:43:21.200 while you're

00:43:21.500 there.

00:43:22.160 If you

00:43:22.440 already

00:43:22.620 started,

00:43:23.140 finish it

00:43:23.540 up.

00:43:24.360 I dropped

00:43:24.800 out and

00:43:25.100 regretted it.

00:43:26.500 You know,

00:43:26.740 it's not even

00:43:27.140 about the

00:43:27.580 college,

00:43:28.000 it's about

00:43:28.180 the connections.

00:43:29.820 You know,

00:43:29.980 if you have

00:43:30.240 a business

00:43:30.660 plan idea,

00:43:31.340 now you

00:43:31.580 might meet

00:43:31.940 somebody in

00:43:32.380 college who's

00:43:34.940 got the

00:43:35.180 other side

00:43:35.640 of it.

00:43:36.540 Who's got

00:43:36.880 the other

00:43:37.260 side of

00:43:37.580 your business

00:43:38.040 plan?

00:43:39.080 Because if

00:43:39.540 there's anything

00:43:39.980 that's tough

00:43:40.480 to do,

00:43:40.920 it's everything

00:43:41.480 by yourself.

00:43:43.560 You know,

00:43:43.980 teamwork makes

00:43:44.880 the dream

00:43:45.300 work,

00:43:45.860 always.

00:43:47.240 You know,

00:43:47.440 you want to

00:43:47.940 meet up with

00:43:49.420 people who are

00:43:49.760 like-minded and

00:43:50.400 like to get

00:43:50.840 things done.

00:43:51.760 Because you

00:43:52.220 can't do it

00:43:52.680 all.

00:43:53.740 You know,

00:43:53.980 you need

00:43:54.220 somebody to

00:43:54.520 help with

00:43:54.740 everything.

00:43:56.520 This podcast,

00:43:57.440 I need people

00:43:57.780 to help with

00:43:58.120 Patreon to

00:43:58.700 support.

00:43:59.620 We have our

00:44:01.280 new camera being

00:44:01.860 started up on

00:44:03.080 Thursday's episode

00:44:03.960 coming up this

00:44:04.700 week.

00:44:05.200 We got new

00:44:05.840 lights.

00:44:06.620 We're going to

00:44:06.920 be able to

00:44:07.100 have a guest

00:44:07.560 in soon.

00:44:08.620 You know,

00:44:08.800 I need an

00:44:09.200 editor.

00:44:09.560 I got an

00:44:10.120 editor that's

00:44:10.560 going to come

00:44:10.920 tonight and

00:44:11.960 take off with

00:44:12.500 this footage.

00:44:13.580 And we'll be

00:44:14.220 up to midnight

00:44:14.700 on the phone or

00:44:15.320 on Skype

00:44:15.640 discussing it.

00:44:17.140 You know,

00:44:17.320 but he has to

00:44:18.520 have that skill

00:44:19.060 set.

00:44:19.320 I can't do it

00:44:19.880 all.

00:44:21.220 You know,

00:44:21.480 it's like there's

00:44:22.540 a lot of

00:44:22.840 teamwork.

00:44:23.820 And you're

00:44:24.140 going to need

00:44:24.460 that, man,

00:44:25.500 and a business

00:44:26.300 idea a lot of

00:44:26.960 times.

00:44:28.060 Maybe you won't.

00:44:29.520 But yeah,

00:44:30.420 college is about

00:44:30.860 the connections,

00:44:31.920 the opportunity.

00:44:33.340 And also,

00:44:34.060 dude,

00:44:34.700 they got a

00:44:35.640 straight up

00:44:36.000 buffet of

00:44:37.380 breasts or

00:44:39.080 wiener out

00:44:39.620 there if you

00:44:40.020 want it.

00:44:41.220 I mean,

00:44:41.460 college is that

00:44:42.160 time to cut

00:44:43.020 up.

00:44:44.500 I mean,

00:44:44.740 out here in

00:44:45.080 the real world,

00:44:45.600 you can't even

00:44:46.120 do.

00:44:46.960 You can't do

00:44:47.760 anything anymore.

00:44:49.360 So if you're

00:44:49.740 going to catch

00:44:50.100 some extra,

00:44:50.720 you know,

00:44:51.700 if you're going

00:44:52.400 to get into

00:44:54.180 some straight up

00:44:54.740 Special Olympics,

00:44:55.960 you know what

00:44:56.280 I'm saying?

00:44:57.380 If you're going

00:44:57.780 to just be

00:44:58.440 skeeting over

00:44:59.240 somebody's,

00:45:00.240 you know,

00:45:01.820 over that

00:45:02.180 titty bar,

00:45:03.680 you know,

00:45:03.920 if you're just

00:45:04.260 going to be,

00:45:05.100 you know,

00:45:06.780 you're going

00:45:06.960 to be triple

00:45:07.440 jumping some

00:45:08.200 cock on

00:45:09.840 some,

00:45:10.720 you know,

00:45:11.280 up and down

00:45:11.780 some lady's,

00:45:12.560 you know,

00:45:13.540 leg or something,

00:45:14.480 then you're going

00:45:14.920 to want to do

00:45:15.400 something.

00:45:16.580 You're going to want

00:45:17.860 to be in that

00:45:18.300 college.

00:45:19.480 Because you can't

00:45:20.280 just recreate

00:45:20.940 college somewhere.

00:45:22.400 You can't walk

00:45:23.240 in like a,

00:45:23.900 you know,

00:45:24.780 a CVS or a

00:45:25.900 Walgreens and

00:45:27.340 just,

00:45:27.720 you know,

00:45:28.720 say,

00:45:29.040 let's turn the

00:45:29.620 fuck up

00:45:30.280 and start

00:45:31.540 drinking and,

00:45:32.840 you know,

00:45:33.600 doing shots out

00:45:34.660 of people's

00:45:35.100 asses.

00:45:35.640 You can't do

00:45:36.120 all that.

00:45:37.240 You're going

00:45:37.560 to need a

00:45:37.960 real environment

00:45:38.560 and college,

00:45:39.140 you know,

00:45:39.320 provides that.

00:45:41.820 Oh,

00:45:42.720 last week we

00:45:44.120 asked on the

00:45:45.120 episode,

00:45:45.860 I asked if

00:45:47.680 any,

00:45:47.900 if any Boston

00:45:48.960 fans get tired

00:45:49.900 of winning,

00:45:51.620 you know,

00:45:51.920 the Patriots are

00:45:52.520 going to be in

00:45:52.800 this final again.

00:45:53.620 and it's,

00:45:57.520 you know,

00:45:58.060 I think everything

00:45:59.040 loses its allure

00:46:00.240 and even victory

00:46:02.500 probably does.

00:46:04.480 And this young

00:46:05.380 lady called in

00:46:06.260 with some thoughts

00:46:07.020 on that.

00:46:07.440 Here we go.

00:46:08.900 Hey,

00:46:09.120 Theo.

00:46:09.680 My name is

00:46:10.200 Jen.

00:46:10.840 You were saying

00:46:11.700 on this past

00:46:12.800 podcast,

00:46:14.400 you were saying

00:46:15.320 that people are

00:46:15.900 getting tired

00:46:16.560 of Boston winning.

00:46:18.420 You said you

00:46:18.820 heard a Patriots

00:46:19.420 fan say that

00:46:20.140 they are tired

00:46:21.220 of seeing the

00:46:21.760 Patriots win.

00:46:22.600 do we feel

00:46:23.980 greedy?

00:46:25.040 Yeah,

00:46:25.640 it sometimes

00:46:26.140 feels like that.

00:46:27.860 I guess you

00:46:28.320 could say.

00:46:29.260 Okay.

00:46:29.800 Thank you for

00:46:30.340 calling Jen.

00:46:31.500 Onward.

00:46:32.980 It doesn't,

00:46:34.120 I bet it

00:46:34.620 wouldn't feel

00:46:35.280 as good as

00:46:35.960 say you saw

00:46:36.800 the Saints win.

00:46:38.020 You know,

00:46:38.520 I'm 26 and

00:46:39.880 the first time

00:46:41.020 I saw Tom

00:46:41.780 Brady win a

00:46:42.380 Super Bowl,

00:46:43.480 I was 11

00:46:45.020 years old or

00:46:45.620 something like

00:46:45.940 that.

00:46:46.100 We were going

00:46:46.480 through some

00:46:46.960 tough times

00:46:47.540 like as a

00:46:47.940 family.

00:46:49.560 And Tom

00:46:50.360 Brady's that

00:46:50.820 man.

00:46:51.560 And you know,

00:46:52.020 he is six

00:46:52.780 foot six.

00:46:55.080 That's tall.

00:46:55.800 I mean,

00:46:56.360 that is tall.

00:46:57.480 That's like

00:46:57.780 two eight

00:46:58.400 year olds.

00:47:00.120 Long ways.

00:47:01.200 Onward.

00:47:01.860 And we're all

00:47:02.460 living in this

00:47:02.940 Super 8 motel

00:47:03.960 in this crappy

00:47:05.240 Boston motel

00:47:08.080 in some ghetto

00:47:09.060 for like two

00:47:09.940 months.

00:47:10.860 And we saw

00:47:11.540 them when that

00:47:12.160 2002 Super Bowl

00:47:13.240 I saw my dad

00:47:14.260 cry his eyes

00:47:15.520 out.

00:47:16.460 And like at

00:47:16.780 that moment I

00:47:17.580 realized like how

00:47:18.560 important this was

00:47:19.680 for him at

00:47:20.380 this point in

00:47:20.920 our lives.

00:47:21.880 How important

00:47:22.480 it was for

00:47:23.560 football to

00:47:24.400 bring us all

00:47:24.880 together.

00:47:26.300 You know,

00:47:26.640 it did.

00:47:27.080 It held our

00:47:27.500 family together

00:47:28.140 for such

00:47:29.340 tough times.

00:47:30.900 And I

00:47:31.440 respect that

00:47:32.000 and I

00:47:32.200 appreciate that

00:47:32.720 call, Jen.

00:47:33.460 You know,

00:47:33.740 that is a

00:47:34.100 beautiful moment.

00:47:34.780 I mean,

00:47:34.920 there's nothing,

00:47:36.200 you know,

00:47:36.960 I mean,

00:47:38.340 there's also

00:47:38.820 nothing more

00:47:39.480 Boston fan than

00:47:40.840 you know,

00:47:41.600 a dad crying

00:47:42.400 in a Super

00:47:42.900 8 motel

00:47:43.420 with his

00:47:43.800 children as

00:47:45.820 Tom Brady

00:47:46.240 wins a Super

00:47:46.820 Bowl.

00:47:47.060 That's like

00:47:47.660 the most,

00:47:48.740 you know,

00:47:50.240 that's so

00:47:51.820 real Boston,

00:47:53.800 you know,

00:47:54.000 not fancy

00:47:54.660 Boston.

00:47:55.880 I mean,

00:47:56.060 that's,

00:47:56.340 you know,

00:47:56.900 that's fucking

00:47:57.480 unbelievable.

00:47:58.800 You know,

00:47:59.580 leaving the room

00:48:00.520 to get,

00:48:00.960 you know,

00:48:01.100 hit the ice

00:48:01.580 machine by

00:48:02.100 himself to

00:48:02.660 have a few

00:48:03.020 moments and

00:48:03.600 come back in

00:48:04.520 and celebrate,

00:48:05.720 you know,

00:48:05.940 crack open a

00:48:06.580 thing of

00:48:06.900 grape,

00:48:08.060 you know,

00:48:08.780 maybe grape

00:48:09.260 soda or

00:48:09.820 something for

00:48:10.140 the kids or

00:48:10.660 do something

00:48:10.980 special,

00:48:12.440 you know,

00:48:12.820 and yeah,

00:48:14.460 I mean,

00:48:14.720 that's Jesus

00:48:16.420 Christ.

00:48:17.620 A Super

00:48:18.120 8 too,

00:48:18.800 man,

00:48:18.940 I don't know

00:48:19.100 if they went

00:48:19.460 out,

00:48:19.700 those,

00:48:20.160 they were not

00:48:20.740 doing well

00:48:21.460 the last I

00:48:22.180 checked,

00:48:22.460 they were down

00:48:22.820 to like a

00:48:23.160 Super 6 and

00:48:24.080 then people

00:48:25.600 were getting

00:48:25.900 murdered at

00:48:26.500 some of them.

00:48:27.460 But I

00:48:27.740 appreciate the

00:48:28.200 call and

00:48:28.480 there is

00:48:28.740 something,

00:48:29.260 you know,

00:48:30.500 and there is

00:48:31.440 something beautiful

00:48:32.000 about,

00:48:33.160 there's something

00:48:33.860 beautiful about

00:48:34.540 that.

00:48:35.720 There's something

00:48:36.260 beautiful about

00:48:37.140 fanhood and

00:48:38.880 how it does,

00:48:39.580 it carries

00:48:40.020 generations.

00:48:40.740 I mean,

00:48:40.880 one thing I

00:48:41.280 remember about

00:48:41.720 my own father

00:48:42.700 was watching

00:48:43.280 Saints games and

00:48:44.860 he got me

00:48:45.280 into them.

00:48:45.800 and sometimes

00:48:47.440 you're a fan

00:48:48.080 because someone

00:48:48.800 else in your

00:48:49.140 family was.

00:48:49.860 It gives you a

00:48:50.800 bridge there,

00:48:51.460 it gives you

00:48:51.800 some sort of a

00:48:52.360 connection.

00:48:53.640 You know,

00:48:53.840 especially with

00:48:54.800 fathers and

00:48:55.340 sons,

00:48:55.680 a lot of times

00:48:56.160 there's not a

00:48:57.040 ton,

00:48:57.720 since men don't

00:48:58.480 really relate to

00:48:59.520 each other very

00:49:00.040 emotionally,

00:49:00.820 there's not a lot

00:49:01.660 of opportunities

00:49:02.440 for that emotional

00:49:04.060 webbing between

00:49:04.960 men and their

00:49:06.120 sons.

00:49:07.400 So the fact

00:49:08.420 that they can

00:49:08.760 share a sports

00:49:09.460 team together

00:49:10.180 is huge.

00:49:12.120 And it really

00:49:13.440 does,

00:49:14.980 you know,

00:49:15.600 there was nothing

00:49:16.080 more that my

00:49:17.960 grandfather wanted

00:49:19.540 to see than the

00:49:20.480 Cubs win.

00:49:21.920 You know,

00:49:22.200 and he used to

00:49:22.900 blow cigarette

00:49:23.540 smoke in my

00:49:24.120 face and cheat

00:49:25.820 at cards when

00:49:26.540 we were children.

00:49:27.540 He'd take a big

00:49:28.200 hit off that

00:49:28.700 Marlboro Red,

00:49:29.600 or,

00:49:30.360 you know,

00:49:30.560 he'd be back

00:49:31.460 there just

00:49:31.780 blowing them

00:49:32.820 Winston's and

00:49:33.940 he'd hit me

00:49:34.360 with a beep.

00:49:36.160 And when I

00:49:36.720 couldn't see or

00:49:37.420 my eyes were

00:49:37.880 burning,

00:49:38.180 he would cheat

00:49:38.560 at cards.

00:49:39.800 But he loved

00:49:40.900 the Chicago Cubs

00:49:41.840 and for most

00:49:43.960 of my life,

00:49:44.400 I've loved

00:49:44.800 them.

00:49:45.780 You know,

00:49:46.020 and when they

00:49:46.860 won,

00:49:48.800 I cried.

00:49:50.680 I cried

00:49:51.200 because I

00:49:53.120 didn't really

00:49:53.480 cry,

00:49:53.820 you know,

00:49:53.980 I cried some

00:49:54.440 for me,

00:49:55.840 but really I

00:49:56.920 cried for him

00:49:58.760 probably.

00:50:00.260 You know,

00:50:00.500 it was,

00:50:01.440 it just

00:50:02.060 welled up in

00:50:02.900 me that

00:50:03.480 a lot of

00:50:04.800 his life this

00:50:05.460 had been

00:50:05.980 something he

00:50:07.000 loved.

00:50:09.100 And that's

00:50:09.740 one thing that's

00:50:10.160 kind of beautiful

00:50:10.600 about humanity

00:50:11.280 is sometimes,

00:50:13.340 you know,

00:50:15.180 sometimes we

00:50:16.180 carry out the

00:50:17.260 dreams or

00:50:18.580 the moments

00:50:19.800 of those who

00:50:20.600 went before us.

00:50:23.300 You know,

00:50:23.820 and I guess

00:50:24.160 that's kind of

00:50:24.580 a neat thing

00:50:25.120 where,

00:50:25.500 I mean,

00:50:25.800 that's kind

00:50:26.100 of a neat

00:50:28.380 rivet in

00:50:31.780 who we are.

00:50:32.960 It's like,

00:50:33.140 that's kind

00:50:33.600 of an escape

00:50:34.020 from our

00:50:34.420 ego when we

00:50:35.560 have moments

00:50:35.980 like that.

00:50:36.820 You know,

00:50:37.140 when something

00:50:37.500 special happens

00:50:38.260 and it's,

00:50:39.140 yeah,

00:50:39.340 we're there,

00:50:39.740 we're happy

00:50:40.100 there to see

00:50:40.660 it,

00:50:40.840 but really,

00:50:41.560 you know,

00:50:41.860 I'm the eyes

00:50:42.920 of my grandfather

00:50:44.920 at that point

00:50:45.760 or there's a

00:50:46.800 little bit of

00:50:47.220 him in my

00:50:47.700 heart where

00:50:48.160 I see,

00:50:48.720 you know,

00:50:49.140 I'm emoting,

00:50:51.160 feeling emotion

00:50:52.000 because he would

00:50:53.140 be if he could

00:50:53.740 be alive.

00:50:54.360 And there's

00:50:56.380 a moment

00:50:56.700 where there

00:50:56.980 is for you

00:50:57.600 as a child

00:50:58.180 in that Super

00:50:58.740 8,

00:51:00.020 you know,

00:51:00.700 where you,

00:51:01.880 you know,

00:51:03.580 you see your

00:51:04.180 father have

00:51:04.680 feelings.

00:51:05.960 And sports

00:51:06.540 will do that.

00:51:07.160 I guess it's,

00:51:08.000 you know,

00:51:08.280 it is,

00:51:08.580 it's a unique,

00:51:10.240 it's a unique,

00:51:11.640 I don't want to

00:51:13.420 say it's a conduit

00:51:14.420 for our feelings,

00:51:15.260 but it's a,

00:51:15.720 it's a,

00:51:16.740 it's,

00:51:17.820 it's a unique

00:51:19.140 quilt,

00:51:21.700 you know,

00:51:23.180 that we,

00:51:23.760 that we find

00:51:24.540 our space in

00:51:25.400 and that

00:51:26.340 connects a lot

00:51:27.380 of people.

00:51:28.840 And,

00:51:29.200 um,

00:51:30.180 fuck,

00:51:31.200 I don't even

00:51:31.400 know what the

00:51:31.540 fuck I'm talking

00:51:32.000 about,

00:51:32.360 dude.

00:51:32.800 Jesus Christ,

00:51:33.880 bro.

00:51:35.020 I don't know

00:51:35.620 if I'm retarded

00:51:36.540 or not.

00:51:43.040 Man,

00:51:45.660 my brain is just

00:51:46.360 shitting the bed

00:51:47.020 today.

00:51:47.960 It's just

00:51:48.520 shitting the bed.

00:51:53.180 But sports does

00:51:54.060 that sometimes.

00:51:54.720 It's the catalyst

00:51:55.320 for behavior.

00:51:56.840 You know,

00:51:57.000 it's a catalyst

00:51:57.600 for connectivity.

00:52:00.440 It's a catalyst

00:52:01.120 for,

00:52:03.000 you know,

00:52:03.940 it gives us

00:52:04.320 a chance to

00:52:04.880 compete against

00:52:05.840 someone else

00:52:06.600 or even to

00:52:08.140 cheer our

00:52:08.840 favorite competitors

00:52:09.680 on.

00:52:10.640 You know,

00:52:10.860 it's that,

00:52:12.100 um,

00:52:12.900 it's such a

00:52:13.680 conduit for

00:52:14.780 a lot of,

00:52:16.760 uh,

00:52:18.340 of our emotions.

00:52:20.120 You know,

00:52:20.420 it really,

00:52:20.940 really is.

00:52:21.320 But I appreciate

00:52:22.060 that call,

00:52:22.700 Jen.

00:52:23.060 I appreciate

00:52:23.560 that call.

00:52:25.900 What else is

00:52:26.640 going on?

00:52:27.040 Oh,

00:52:27.160 I got this call

00:52:27.740 that came in

00:52:28.240 to me.

00:52:28.800 And this is a

00:52:29.320 question directed

00:52:30.060 at me.

00:52:30.500 And I'm going

00:52:30.740 to,

00:52:30.920 uh,

00:52:31.240 to get to this

00:52:32.060 one.

00:52:32.180 I know I'm

00:52:32.420 just kind of

00:52:32.780 jumping through

00:52:33.240 calls here,

00:52:33.840 guys.

00:52:34.960 Um,

00:52:36.000 I don't know

00:52:36.520 what's going

00:52:36.880 on.

00:52:37.080 I'm just

00:52:37.560 feeling weird

00:52:38.280 today or what?

00:52:40.040 You know,

00:52:40.500 uh,

00:52:41.760 I don't know.

00:52:42.240 It's Sunday.

00:52:42.920 I just,

00:52:43.400 I don't know.

00:52:43.880 I don't feel

00:52:44.260 that.

00:52:44.760 I just,

00:52:45.300 I don't know.

00:52:45.940 I mean,

00:52:46.140 I feel like

00:52:46.740 physically fine.

00:52:47.600 I'm just not,

00:52:50.620 you know,

00:52:50.960 just feeling

00:52:51.420 whatever.

00:52:52.240 Let's hit it.

00:52:52.580 So,

00:52:52.800 so let's keep

00:52:53.920 this going.

00:52:54.400 Here we go.

00:52:55.620 What's going

00:52:56.140 on,

00:52:56.480 Theo?

00:52:56.700 This is Andre

00:52:57.500 calling from

00:52:58.200 Boston.

00:52:58.600 We had a

00:52:59.000 question to

00:52:59.460 ask you.

00:53:00.440 And this is

00:53:00.800 Andre out of

00:53:01.460 Boston hitting

00:53:02.040 that hotline.

00:53:02.760 Here we go,

00:53:03.260 Dre.

00:53:04.400 I noticed on

00:53:05.060 your last

00:53:05.500 podcast,

00:53:06.160 you said you

00:53:06.520 had a Latin

00:53:07.480 fella doing

00:53:08.440 your technical

00:53:09.280 work or

00:53:09.800 whatever.

00:53:10.740 Yeah,

00:53:11.040 and that's,

00:53:11.400 uh,

00:53:12.060 Chris Perez out

00:53:13.060 there.

00:53:13.800 And we got a

00:53:14.260 Latino gentleman

00:53:14.920 here doing that.

00:53:16.340 And he's,

00:53:17.000 um,

00:53:17.600 he's a unique

00:53:18.420 specimen.

00:53:19.300 He's pretty shy,

00:53:20.500 but,

00:53:20.940 uh,

00:53:20.960 we might have

00:53:21.320 him on soon.

00:53:21.980 Let's see.

00:53:22.460 Onward.

00:53:23.300 Do you consider

00:53:24.080 yourself a Latin

00:53:24.900 fella considering

00:53:25.700 you're half

00:53:26.180 Nicaraguan?

00:53:27.020 Cause I mean,

00:53:27.760 I was born in

00:53:28.600 America and

00:53:29.460 I'm Cuban and

00:53:30.440 Chilean.

00:53:30.840 My mother's from

00:53:31.360 Chile and my

00:53:32.180 dad's from Cuba.

00:53:33.440 Damn,

00:53:33.900 you that Chilean

00:53:34.680 Cuban,

00:53:35.220 huh?

00:53:36.620 Woo,

00:53:37.160 boy.

00:53:38.820 Damn,

00:53:39.260 you sound like

00:53:39.660 a fancy order

00:53:40.360 of fish at

00:53:40.960 one of those

00:53:41.280 nice restaurants,

00:53:42.480 man.

00:53:43.400 That Chilean

00:53:44.260 Cuban,

00:53:44.920 dude.

00:53:46.740 Man,

00:53:47.140 it sound like

00:53:47.580 I'd have,

00:53:48.020 if I owned you,

00:53:48.740 I'd have you

00:53:49.100 in a tank,

00:53:49.820 you know?

00:53:51.500 And that

00:53:52.000 reminds me actually

00:53:52.580 of my sister

00:53:53.100 and her husband

00:53:53.560 have a fit,

00:53:54.220 a bass in a

00:53:55.360 tank at their

00:53:55.940 house,

00:53:56.360 right?

00:53:56.680 And it can't

00:53:57.200 even turn

00:53:58.000 around.

00:53:58.960 It's just in

00:53:59.640 there moving a

00:54:00.960 little bit.

00:54:01.840 Cause it's gotten

00:54:02.360 so big it can't

00:54:03.380 barely,

00:54:03.960 you know,

00:54:05.100 turn around in the

00:54:05.660 tank,

00:54:05.900 but it is in the

00:54:06.560 tank.

00:54:06.960 Onward,

00:54:07.340 Andre,

00:54:07.700 onward.

00:54:08.040 Say your

00:54:08.660 father's from

00:54:09.080 Nicaragua,

00:54:09.660 so do you

00:54:10.080 consider yourself

00:54:10.900 Latin American?

00:54:12.380 Cause I mean,

00:54:13.400 you kind of come

00:54:13.940 up with some

00:54:14.420 stereotypical shit

00:54:15.520 sometimes and

00:54:16.360 I say it's kind

00:54:17.220 of ridiculous,

00:54:18.200 bro.

00:54:19.220 I don't know.

00:54:20.100 Not that it

00:54:20.640 matters,

00:54:21.040 but I'm just

00:54:21.700 curious.

00:54:22.760 Gang,

00:54:23.240 gang,

00:54:23.600 bruh,

00:54:23.860 bailar.

00:54:24.700 You know what

00:54:25.060 I'm saying?

00:54:26.080 Do I consider

00:54:26.880 myself Latin

00:54:27.460 American?

00:54:27.900 I'll tell you

00:54:28.360 this,

00:54:28.640 man,

00:54:28.760 I'll tell you

00:54:29.020 this.

00:54:29.680 My father was

00:54:30.340 straight up out

00:54:30.760 that Nicaragua.

00:54:32.920 And where are my

00:54:33.640 Nicar's at?

00:54:35.040 Where are my

00:54:35.560 real Nicar's?

00:54:37.960 And he,

00:54:38.740 you know,

00:54:39.520 he lived there

00:54:39.920 until he was

00:54:40.200 14 and he

00:54:40.920 came over to

00:54:41.940 New Orleans

00:54:44.920 or to America,

00:54:46.020 United States of

00:54:46.660 America.

00:54:47.700 And he used to

00:54:48.380 talk a lot in

00:54:48.900 Spanish,

00:54:49.320 man.

00:54:49.420 I didn't know

00:54:49.680 what the fuck

00:54:49.940 he was talking

00:54:50.360 about because

00:54:51.620 I was a child,

00:54:52.500 you know,

00:54:52.880 and he was

00:54:53.440 also,

00:54:54.000 he was 70

00:54:54.660 when I was

00:54:55.080 born.

00:54:55.440 So by the

00:54:55.760 time we got

00:54:56.120 to really

00:54:56.380 talking,

00:54:56.780 he was about

00:54:57.080 80,

00:54:58.900 you know,

00:54:59.320 so he coming

00:54:59.840 in kind of

00:55:00.320 with that

00:55:00.600 80-year-old

00:55:01.140 perspective,

00:55:02.560 you know,

00:55:02.820 slaying that

00:55:03.280 Espanol around

00:55:04.080 the house.

00:55:05.740 And I didn't

00:55:06.300 really get to

00:55:06.780 feel him that

00:55:07.280 much,

00:55:07.660 you know,

00:55:07.840 and feel that

00:55:08.360 vibe of him.

00:55:09.420 You know,

00:55:09.640 he took me

00:55:10.040 one time to,

00:55:10.800 I think,

00:55:12.240 Puerto Vallarta

00:55:13.260 one time,

00:55:13.940 he took me

00:55:14.320 there to do

00:55:14.760 something.

00:55:15.480 And he might

00:55:15.860 have been

00:55:16.220 involved in

00:55:16.620 some shady

00:55:17.100 activity,

00:55:17.680 actually,

00:55:18.020 because he

00:55:18.240 used to go

00:55:18.560 back and

00:55:18.920 forth between

00:55:19.540 Central

00:55:20.380 America and

00:55:21.040 America,

00:55:22.580 Estados Unidos.

00:55:24.060 And I think

00:55:24.560 he might have

00:55:24.900 been involved

00:55:25.300 in a little

00:55:25.600 bit of shady

00:55:26.040 shit.

00:55:26.380 And I don't

00:55:26.640 know what

00:55:27.040 an 80-year-old

00:55:28.160 man can get

00:55:28.740 involved in that

00:55:29.360 shady.

00:55:31.000 You know,

00:55:31.520 probably not

00:55:31.980 drug mulling

00:55:32.780 or anything

00:55:33.060 like that,

00:55:33.560 maybe running

00:55:34.000 a little bit

00:55:34.440 of small

00:55:34.840 bags of

00:55:35.300 Coke or

00:55:35.660 something.

00:55:35.920 I don't

00:55:36.100 know.

00:55:36.920 But he

00:55:37.220 was caught

00:55:37.540 up in a

00:55:37.800 little bit

00:55:37.960 of the

00:55:38.120 dark arts

00:55:38.600 right there.

00:55:39.700 And I

00:55:40.160 knew even

00:55:40.580 as a child

00:55:41.160 that something

00:55:41.560 was,

00:55:41.920 you know,

00:55:42.200 a little bit

00:55:42.520 wild going

00:55:43.120 on.

00:55:44.360 But did I

00:55:44.980 feel it?

00:55:45.520 No,

00:55:45.780 because I

00:55:46.100 didn't feel

00:55:46.520 much from

00:55:47.000 my father.

00:55:48.600 You know,

00:55:48.840 I remember

00:55:49.140 him,

00:55:49.380 he told me,

00:55:49.880 obviously,

00:55:50.380 you know,

00:55:50.720 he told me

00:55:53.000 that I was a

00:55:53.380 survivor.

00:55:54.500 He told me

00:55:55.160 that I had

00:55:56.000 the heart of

00:55:57.180 a lesbian.

00:55:58.140 He always told

00:55:58.820 me that since

00:55:59.220 I was young,

00:56:00.240 because I had

00:56:00.740 that vibrant

00:56:01.240 heart,

00:56:01.880 you know,

00:56:02.100 and I got

00:56:02.340 hit by that

00:56:02.760 Trans Am

00:56:03.360 and survived

00:56:03.920 it.

00:56:05.040 And he

00:56:05.460 told me,

00:56:06.560 you know,

00:56:08.200 he told me

00:56:08.500 that I'd be

00:56:08.840 okay.

00:56:10.040 You know,

00:56:10.280 I think he

00:56:10.580 kind of started

00:56:11.040 to kind of

00:56:11.380 prepare me

00:56:11.800 for the fact

00:56:12.200 that he

00:56:12.480 wasn't going

00:56:12.820 to be around

00:56:13.220 forever.

00:56:15.600 He got me

00:56:16.180 into doing

00:56:17.300 stand-up comedy,

00:56:18.100 really.

00:56:18.900 When I think

00:56:19.440 about it,

00:56:19.800 my father

00:56:20.200 used to be

00:56:20.620 that guy,

00:56:21.100 he used to

00:56:21.400 go to,

00:56:22.040 you know,

00:56:22.240 he was involved

00:56:22.640 with some

00:56:22.900 crazy shit,

00:56:23.740 and he,

00:56:24.400 you know,

00:56:24.860 he bought a

00:56:25.280 Cutlass 88

00:56:26.080 off a couple

00:56:27.620 of brothers,

00:56:28.200 and it had

00:56:28.720 speakers in the

00:56:29.440 back.

00:56:30.420 But he

00:56:30.880 didn't mind

00:56:31.320 the speakers

00:56:31.820 because he

00:56:32.260 was hard

00:56:32.580 of hearing.

00:56:33.680 So he'd be

00:56:34.360 rolling through

00:56:34.820 the,

00:56:35.220 you know,

00:56:35.600 through the

00:56:35.920 town,

00:56:36.340 through our

00:56:36.600 neighborhood

00:56:36.940 and stuff,

00:56:38.340 you know,

00:56:38.820 with a couple

00:56:39.120 of 12s in

00:56:39.740 the back.

00:56:40.620 Just,

00:56:41.020 you know,

00:56:44.740 just killing

00:56:45.560 them,

00:56:45.800 whatever they

00:56:46.760 were,

00:56:47.100 16s,

00:56:47.700 I don't know

00:56:47.940 what they

00:56:48.200 were,

00:56:48.980 but he

00:56:49.660 couldn't hear

00:56:50.100 it,

00:56:50.200 but he had

00:56:50.460 that bass.

00:56:51.760 So he'd

00:56:52.140 be listening

00:56:52.500 to like NPR

00:56:53.520 or all these

00:56:54.600 political talk

00:56:55.320 shows,

00:56:55.780 Rush Limbaugh

00:56:56.420 or something,

00:56:57.520 and just,

00:56:57.860 Paul Harvey.

00:57:03.280 You know,

00:57:03.760 he had that.

00:57:04.820 And one of the

00:57:05.460 speakers I remember

00:57:06.100 was blown out

00:57:06.880 and some Chinese

00:57:07.500 food got stuck

00:57:08.260 in it.

00:57:08.680 And he used

00:57:09.000 to rattle,

00:57:09.580 bruh.

00:57:10.160 It sounded

00:57:10.500 like a huge

00:57:11.320 fucking rattlesnake

00:57:12.180 in the back

00:57:12.480 of that trunk.

00:57:13.700 And my dad

00:57:14.240 had that,

00:57:14.960 you know,

00:57:15.220 and he had,

00:57:16.780 you know,

00:57:17.460 and he was

00:57:17.720 still trying to

00:57:18.200 make some money

00:57:18.820 because him

00:57:19.400 and my mother

00:57:19.760 were always

00:57:20.080 fighting.

00:57:20.460 He had to

00:57:20.640 make some

00:57:20.900 money to

00:57:21.220 survive.

00:57:22.580 But did

00:57:22.820 he,

00:57:23.120 did I feel,

00:57:24.120 you know,

00:57:24.680 I remember kids

00:57:25.240 in our neighborhood

00:57:25.620 would call me a

00:57:26.240 speck all the

00:57:26.880 time.

00:57:28.820 Because,

00:57:29.300 you know,

00:57:29.540 my brother and I

00:57:30.260 and my sisters

00:57:30.880 had,

00:57:31.780 you know,

00:57:32.040 kind of a little

00:57:32.480 bit of tan skin.

00:57:33.780 And for our

00:57:34.240 neighborhood,

00:57:34.700 for our town,

00:57:35.320 we had very

00:57:36.220 tan skin.

00:57:37.700 You know,

00:57:37.940 it was very,

00:57:38.560 I mean,

00:57:38.740 you almost,

00:57:39.400 after us was

00:57:40.040 just black.

00:57:41.500 You know,

00:57:41.680 there wasn't a lot

00:57:42.140 of middle grade

00:57:42.720 going on.

00:57:44.660 So,

00:57:45.040 and you didn't

00:57:45.460 have a lot of

00:57:45.840 mixed people

00:57:46.360 back then.

00:57:46.860 You didn't have

00:57:47.080 a lot of

00:57:47.340 mulatto people.

00:57:48.080 You didn't have

00:57:48.300 a lot of

00:57:48.620 black,

00:57:49.240 white people.

00:57:50.360 And some

00:57:50.640 people get

00:57:50.960 upset at these

00:57:51.580 kind of terms.

00:57:52.260 Whatever,

00:57:52.760 man,

00:57:52.900 you know what I'm

00:57:53.220 talking about.

00:57:54.320 We didn't have

00:57:54.660 a lot of people

00:57:55.080 that were mixed.

00:57:55.680 It wasn't as

00:57:56.120 popular then.

00:57:57.480 You know,

00:57:57.720 you didn't have

00:57:58.000 people with a

00:57:58.420 black and a

00:57:58.880 white parent or a

00:57:59.720 black and a,

00:58:00.360 you know,

00:58:01.100 and those were,

00:58:01.720 we only had a

00:58:02.100 couple of

00:58:02.380 ethnicities.

00:58:03.880 You know,

00:58:04.640 so,

00:58:06.500 you know,

00:58:06.960 I didn't feel it.

00:58:08.380 You know,

00:58:08.540 my father would

00:58:08.960 tell me stories a

00:58:09.820 lot about growing

00:58:10.420 up.

00:58:11.400 You know,

00:58:11.860 and he talks

00:58:12.200 about they didn't

00:58:12.720 have a lot of

00:58:13.180 money growing up.

00:58:15.320 He talked about

00:58:16.040 the poverty that

00:58:16.740 was in the

00:58:17.080 country.

00:58:18.180 You know,

00:58:18.620 his family was

00:58:19.180 down there.

00:58:19.540 They worked in a

00:58:20.020 church and they

00:58:21.160 were building a

00:58:21.720 church and it

00:58:23.260 might still be

00:58:23.920 there.

00:58:24.160 I'm not sure.

00:58:24.880 I plan to go

00:58:25.360 back sometimes.

00:58:27.940 But I think what

00:58:28.640 it did do,

00:58:29.240 it inspired me to

00:58:29.880 do a couple of

00:58:30.460 things.

00:58:31.980 You know,

00:58:32.220 it's inspired me

00:58:32.960 to try and learn

00:58:33.460 Spanish.

00:58:34.700 It's inspired me

00:58:35.860 to,

00:58:36.620 I'd like to do a

00:58:37.280 special in Spanish

00:58:38.380 one day to be

00:58:39.540 able to perform,

00:58:40.940 you know,

00:58:41.240 for people that

00:58:41.720 catch that Latino

00:58:42.420 vibe,

00:58:42.940 you know,

00:58:43.560 for anybody that's

00:58:44.180 ever been Latino

00:58:45.000 or anybody that's

00:58:45.740 ever,

00:58:46.160 you know,

00:58:48.180 been kidnapped

00:58:48.860 and,

00:58:49.360 you know,

00:58:49.600 in,

00:58:50.940 you know,

00:58:51.480 Bolivia or

00:58:52.120 somewhere or,

00:58:53.320 you know,

00:58:54.380 one of those drug

00:58:55.040 countries or

00:58:55.620 something like that

00:58:56.280 or any,

00:58:56.640 you know,

00:58:56.780 a little bit of

00:58:57.160 homage.

00:58:59.280 So it makes me

00:59:00.000 think like that.

00:59:00.860 But,

00:59:03.640 you know,

00:59:03.800 I guess I've

00:59:04.320 always felt maybe

00:59:05.020 just a little bit

00:59:05.640 obscure,

00:59:06.440 a little bit

00:59:06.980 different.

00:59:08.920 I know that when

00:59:09.620 I speak Spanish

00:59:10.440 that it really

00:59:10.940 comes out of me

00:59:11.680 naturally.

00:59:12.960 You know,

00:59:13.360 it comes out of me

00:59:13.840 like it's supposed

00:59:14.380 to be in me.

00:59:15.580 You know,

00:59:15.900 it's like when you

00:59:16.260 open up a tube of

00:59:16.940 toothpaste and you

00:59:17.540 see toothpaste in

00:59:18.420 the tube and it

00:59:19.580 makes sense to you.

00:59:20.840 That's how I feel.

00:59:22.780 About that Latin

00:59:23.540 culture,

00:59:23.980 that vibe,

00:59:24.600 you know.

00:59:25.660 But I remember

00:59:26.180 my father doing

00:59:26.740 some shady shit,

00:59:27.600 man.

00:59:27.720 When I was young,

00:59:28.300 he'd be cooking

00:59:28.740 fucking bananas in

00:59:30.040 the front yard and

00:59:30.860 shit like that.

00:59:32.560 You know,

00:59:32.740 and some of it,

00:59:33.260 you don't know how

00:59:33.700 much of it was

00:59:34.180 Latino and how

00:59:34.900 much of it was

00:59:35.500 just the fact that

00:59:36.120 he was in his

00:59:36.580 80s and he was

00:59:37.580 starting to lose

00:59:38.040 his mind and he

00:59:38.920 had a griddle.

00:59:40.520 So it's a lot of

00:59:41.360 mixed stuff going

00:59:42.120 on.

00:59:43.200 But he,

00:59:43.720 you know,

00:59:45.640 he wrote for

00:59:46.720 some newspapers

00:59:47.560 down there and,

00:59:49.220 you know,

00:59:49.360 I guess so it's

00:59:49.820 in my blood,

00:59:50.500 I feel like.

00:59:51.040 It's in my,

00:59:51.640 it's in my nature.

00:59:53.280 And it's in my

00:59:54.860 nurture.

00:59:55.740 I think it's in

00:59:56.500 both of those

00:59:57.000 things.

00:59:58.140 So that's what's

00:59:58.940 up,

00:59:59.180 man.

00:59:59.480 Yeah,

00:59:59.700 I mean,

00:59:59.860 I guess I do

01:00:00.380 stay a little bit

01:00:00.980 on the surface,

01:00:01.600 maybe about some

01:00:01.980 stereotypical stuff.

01:00:03.480 But I would do

01:00:04.160 some stuff for,

01:00:05.040 you know,

01:00:06.080 for another country,

01:00:06.920 man.

01:00:07.420 I'd do something

01:00:07.960 for my fellow

01:00:08.420 Nicaraguans.

01:00:10.220 You know,

01:00:10.660 I mean,

01:00:10.840 I don't think I'd

01:00:11.660 drug mule or

01:00:12.280 anything.

01:00:13.800 You know,

01:00:14.480 I mean,

01:00:15.720 honestly,

01:00:16.300 I'd probably,

01:00:17.000 if I put a couple

01:00:17.720 grams up my bum,

01:00:18.720 I'd probably hope

01:00:19.200 they bust so I'd

01:00:20.180 get that free hit

01:00:21.040 and it wouldn't

01:00:22.040 count as relapsing.

01:00:23.280 You know,

01:00:23.900 or as,

01:00:24.480 you know,

01:00:24.900 as not being sober.

01:00:26.700 So I might,

01:00:27.400 you know,

01:00:27.960 poke the bag with

01:00:28.600 a needle or

01:00:29.100 something before I

01:00:29.580 put that,

01:00:31.100 you know,

01:00:31.480 that sweet white

01:00:32.180 unicorn up my

01:00:32.980 buttocks.

01:00:33.980 But anyhow,

01:00:34.780 it's a good

01:00:35.100 question,

01:00:35.560 man,

01:00:35.800 and I appreciate

01:00:36.380 it.

01:00:37.380 It's a good

01:00:38.060 question,

01:00:38.540 and I appreciate

01:00:39.000 it.

01:00:40.080 What else,

01:00:40.980 dude?

01:00:43.700 We got another

01:00:44.520 couple of good

01:00:45.080 calls that came

01:00:45.820 in.

01:00:46.300 I want to let

01:00:46.860 you guys first

01:00:47.540 know,

01:00:47.960 of course,

01:00:48.420 about

01:00:48.900 ZipRecruiter.com.

01:00:51.420 Say you have,

01:00:52.360 you need

01:00:53.300 somebody.

01:00:54.540 And this

01:00:54.940 ain't a

01:00:55.220 dating site.

01:00:55.820 This is a

01:00:56.260 site for

01:00:56.700 employers looking

01:00:58.740 for quality

01:01:00.020 employees.

01:01:01.680 Because it's

01:01:02.280 hard out there.

01:01:03.780 You know what I'm

01:01:04.100 saying?

01:01:04.240 You can't just

01:01:04.740 drive down the

01:01:05.540 street and pick

01:01:06.080 up a hitchhiker

01:01:06.820 and, you know,

01:01:08.020 and they get in

01:01:08.880 the car and they

01:01:09.400 can do all the

01:01:10.040 things that you

01:01:10.580 want them to be

01:01:11.140 able to do.

01:01:11.980 They can type,

01:01:12.620 you know,

01:01:12.860 80 words per

01:01:13.580 minute and,

01:01:14.980 you know,

01:01:15.440 they know how

01:01:16.360 to,

01:01:16.760 you know,

01:01:18.140 they know how

01:01:18.480 to,

01:01:18.760 the different

01:01:19.060 templates for

01:01:19.640 different documents.

01:01:20.280 It's not like

01:01:21.120 the old days.

01:01:22.520 You know,

01:01:22.780 the old days,

01:01:23.180 you pick up a

01:01:23.480 hitchhiker.

01:01:24.700 Next,

01:01:24.980 next thing you

01:01:26.060 know,

01:01:26.140 they have a

01:01:26.400 skill.

01:01:26.840 They built you

01:01:27.220 a house or

01:01:27.900 they,

01:01:28.640 you know,

01:01:29.200 they've been

01:01:29.440 watching your

01:01:29.860 children for a

01:01:30.340 couple years.

01:01:31.660 But not anymore.

01:01:33.000 Now,

01:01:33.400 if you want

01:01:33.740 quality employee,

01:01:35.320 you need to

01:01:36.280 use

01:01:36.740 ZipRecruiter.com.

01:01:39.020 Here's what it

01:01:39.660 does.

01:01:40.760 ZipRecruiter,

01:01:41.340 you put what

01:01:42.320 you need out

01:01:42.960 there.

01:01:44.060 ZipRecruiter sends

01:01:44.840 it out to tons of

01:01:45.580 websites who are

01:01:46.060 looking for people.

01:01:47.480 And also,

01:01:48.140 it pulls in people

01:01:49.100 who are looking

01:01:49.900 for similar type

01:01:50.860 work.

01:01:51.580 It finds the

01:01:52.460 best of those,

01:01:53.680 the creme de la

01:01:54.540 crop,

01:01:55.060 and sends them

01:01:55.620 right back to

01:01:56.220 you.

01:01:56.880 So you got that

01:01:57.520 crop creme in

01:01:59.280 your inbox right

01:02:00.240 there.

01:02:01.000 Suddenly,

01:02:01.520 you're only looking

01:02:02.000 through 10 or

01:02:02.480 12 people maybe

01:02:03.340 to find who's

01:02:04.140 the best.

01:02:05.100 Because the

01:02:05.700 thousands of

01:02:06.340 candidates have

01:02:07.160 already been

01:02:07.580 looked through

01:02:08.240 by ZipRecruiter.com.

01:02:10.480 And you can try

01:02:11.880 ZipRecruiter for

01:02:12.620 free by going to

01:02:13.300 ZipRecruiter.com

01:02:15.640 slash TPW.

01:02:18.960 Use it or

01:02:19.980 lose it.

01:02:20.860 If you got a

01:02:21.480 job, fill it.

01:02:22.840 Try it for free.

01:02:24.020 What do you got

01:02:24.420 to lose, huh?

01:02:26.100 What do you have

01:02:26.980 to lose?

01:02:27.740 A failing business?

01:02:29.340 By making it

01:02:30.280 better.

01:02:30.800 That's all you got

01:02:31.460 to lose.

01:02:32.040 Try ZipRecruiter.com.

01:02:34.700 All right, let's

01:02:35.680 get into a little

01:02:36.260 bit of stuff, man.

01:02:37.260 Here we go.

01:02:38.020 We got another

01:02:38.640 call right here

01:02:39.880 that came in.

01:02:42.080 And I want to

01:02:43.080 get to that now.

01:02:44.620 Here we go.

01:02:45.640 I just got a

01:02:46.340 little problem

01:02:47.100 going on.

01:02:48.140 My wife recently

01:02:49.420 started drinking

01:02:50.380 like a couple

01:02:51.340 weeks ago.

01:02:52.960 Okay, this

01:02:53.560 gentleman called

01:02:54.140 in and I didn't

01:02:55.060 get a name there

01:02:55.700 but his wife

01:02:56.260 recently started

01:02:56.880 drinking a couple

01:02:57.920 weeks ago.

01:02:58.820 More?

01:02:59.240 Her first real

01:03:00.200 night of getting

01:03:00.820 hammered drunk,

01:03:02.540 she wasn't with

01:03:03.760 me.

01:03:04.000 She was with

01:03:04.320 her cousin and

01:03:04.980 she ended up

01:03:05.440 texting the boy

01:03:06.340 that she used

01:03:07.260 to hook up

01:03:08.700 with.

01:03:10.120 Hmm.

01:03:11.500 So she just

01:03:12.420 started drinking

01:03:13.220 and her first night

01:03:14.880 of getting really

01:03:15.280 drunk, she texted

01:03:15.880 a boy she used

01:03:16.580 to hook up

01:03:17.060 with.

01:03:17.340 More?

01:03:18.080 I kind of

01:03:18.440 just thought

01:03:19.220 whatever,

01:03:19.700 whatever.

01:03:20.640 We'll just

01:03:20.980 move on from

01:03:21.580 here, she's

01:03:22.040 drunk.

01:03:22.720 But then last

01:03:23.960 night on New

01:03:24.860 Year's Eve, she

01:03:26.340 got pretty drunk

01:03:27.840 again at my

01:03:28.520 brother's house.

01:03:29.640 We ended up

01:03:30.380 having sex in

01:03:31.380 the house, like

01:03:32.220 whatever.

01:03:33.240 Ooh, you had

01:03:33.640 sex at your

01:03:34.040 brother's house,

01:03:34.860 dude?

01:03:35.060 That's wild.

01:03:36.400 That's so tricky.

01:03:38.060 That's so goofy,

01:03:39.240 dude, and silly.

01:03:40.820 Okay, more?

01:03:41.840 That's what

01:03:42.240 husbands and

01:03:42.840 wives do.

01:03:43.780 Then later, she

01:03:45.460 ended up hooking

01:03:46.980 up with my

01:03:47.740 sister-in-law.

01:03:49.800 Wait, what is a

01:03:50.720 sister-in-law?

01:03:52.040 That is your

01:03:53.360 brother's wife?

01:03:54.700 No!

01:03:57.180 Dude, if you

01:03:58.000 and your brother

01:03:58.480 end up banging

01:03:59.520 or dating, dude,

01:04:00.420 or touching each

01:04:01.100 other aggressively,

01:04:02.020 that is crazy,

01:04:03.360 bro.

01:04:04.220 And some

01:04:05.300 places it's

01:04:05.720 illegal.

01:04:06.100 Some places

01:04:06.400 it's not

01:04:06.860 illegal.

01:04:07.760 I think if you

01:04:08.200 go on a boat

01:04:08.700 and go off the

01:04:09.160 coast a little

01:04:09.620 bit, I think

01:04:09.980 you have to be

01:04:10.240 at least 300

01:04:11.660 yards out or

01:04:12.420 something.

01:04:13.580 More?

01:04:14.800 After my

01:04:15.760 brother went

01:04:16.260 to bed, she

01:04:16.940 just went

01:04:17.880 downstairs with

01:04:18.900 my sister-in-law.

01:04:19.920 Literally, she

01:04:20.660 did.

01:04:21.140 Boom.

01:04:21.480 Had to put

01:04:21.760 that one in

01:04:22.120 there.

01:04:22.500 More?

01:04:22.960 They ended

01:04:23.520 up hooking

01:04:23.940 up, filling

01:04:25.100 each other's

01:04:25.660 private parts,

01:04:26.480 you know.

01:04:27.700 Oh, yeah,

01:04:29.260 dude.

01:04:29.840 Touching that

01:04:30.360 little thermostat,

01:04:31.500 bruh.

01:04:31.800 I know what

01:04:32.180 you're talking

01:04:32.520 about.

01:04:33.620 You know

01:04:33.840 what I'm

01:04:33.980 saying?

01:04:34.840 Woo!

01:04:36.000 That

01:04:36.240 kuda.

01:04:37.340 What's kind

01:04:37.980 of bugging me

01:04:38.580 is, isn't

01:04:39.760 that something

01:04:40.360 that every

01:04:40.840 guy wants?

01:04:41.640 Like, his

01:04:42.160 wife to be

01:04:42.800 into chicks

01:04:43.300 too, and

01:04:44.000 him?

01:04:44.680 But also, I

01:04:45.700 feel like a

01:04:46.540 little betrayed.

01:04:47.640 I'm just

01:04:48.040 wondering what

01:04:48.720 everyone thinks

01:04:49.920 I should do

01:04:50.400 about the

01:04:50.800 situation, or

01:04:51.720 your thoughts

01:04:53.060 on it?

01:04:53.500 Like, should I

01:04:54.160 be bugged?

01:04:54.840 Should I just

01:04:55.260 let it go?

01:04:56.760 How do I

01:04:57.240 handle this

01:04:57.700 situation?

01:04:59.160 That's a good

01:04:59.640 question.

01:05:00.600 How would I

01:05:01.120 handle the

01:05:01.440 situation if

01:05:02.040 my wife

01:05:02.540 hooked up

01:05:02.920 with my

01:05:03.260 brother's

01:05:03.780 wife?

01:05:10.900 Well, dude,

01:05:11.980 I'll be,

01:05:12.400 look, here's

01:05:12.900 how this is

01:05:13.320 going to end

01:05:13.700 up.

01:05:14.700 And this

01:05:15.200 isn't advice,

01:05:16.040 but this is

01:05:16.440 just what's

01:05:16.820 going to

01:05:17.020 happen, is

01:05:17.860 it's going

01:05:18.880 to end up

01:05:19.380 that you

01:05:19.700 guys are

01:05:19.960 going to

01:05:20.040 start expecting

01:05:20.700 it.

01:05:21.600 And you

01:05:22.120 guys are

01:05:22.440 going to

01:05:22.580 end up

01:05:23.120 probably

01:05:24.120 having sex

01:05:25.240 with each

01:05:25.480 other's

01:05:25.720 wives, or

01:05:26.400 jerking off

01:05:27.060 while they're

01:05:27.380 hooking up

01:05:27.760 somewhere.

01:05:28.960 And if

01:05:29.140 you think

01:05:29.400 there's a

01:05:29.760 safe, it's

01:05:32.300 not just

01:05:32.640 going to

01:05:32.840 end up

01:05:33.180 giggling

01:05:34.220 about this

01:05:34.760 during a

01:05:35.080 game of

01:05:35.480 Uno, or

01:05:37.600 playing

01:05:37.860 four square

01:05:38.380 together and

01:05:39.720 laughing about

01:05:40.280 it.

01:05:40.400 That's not

01:05:40.680 going to

01:05:40.880 happen.

01:05:42.440 What's

01:05:42.780 going to

01:05:42.960 happen is

01:05:43.440 this is

01:05:43.700 going to

01:05:43.880 escalate.

01:05:45.160 And you're

01:05:45.460 going to

01:05:45.600 see these

01:05:45.900 people a

01:05:46.300 lot because

01:05:46.720 it's your

01:05:46.980 brother and

01:05:48.160 his wife.

01:05:49.280 Unless

01:05:49.640 something

01:05:49.860 happens to

01:05:50.280 them or

01:05:50.620 something

01:05:50.780 happens to

01:05:51.180 you guys.

01:05:52.500 Unless

01:05:52.780 there's a

01:05:53.100 crime and

01:05:53.580 you guys are

01:05:53.840 victims of

01:05:54.260 a crime or

01:05:54.780 they are,

01:05:55.580 you're going

01:05:56.020 to continue to

01:05:56.600 see them a

01:05:57.040 lot.

01:05:58.380 And this

01:05:58.840 stuff is going

01:05:59.140 to escalate.

01:06:00.420 And next

01:06:00.700 thing you know

01:06:01.120 you're going

01:06:01.480 to be buying

01:06:01.880 toys and

01:06:02.540 it's going

01:06:02.780 to get

01:06:03.260 exciting,

01:06:05.740 honestly.

01:06:07.420 And I

01:06:07.920 wish my

01:06:09.060 brother and

01:06:09.520 his wife,

01:06:09.940 they got a

01:06:10.280 lot going

01:06:10.680 on and I

01:06:11.140 don't have

01:06:11.440 a wife.

01:06:13.360 And I

01:06:14.040 don't want

01:06:14.980 that for

01:06:15.240 myself.

01:06:15.520 My family

01:06:15.820 couldn't

01:06:16.040 handle that.

01:06:17.060 But for

01:06:17.600 you, it

01:06:18.160 sounds like

01:06:18.880 you're getting

01:06:19.680 out there.

01:06:21.620 And I

01:06:22.000 don't know.

01:06:22.320 If people have

01:06:22.840 thoughts here,

01:06:23.300 you guys can

01:06:23.600 hit the

01:06:23.780 hotline

01:06:24.080 985-664-9503

01:06:26.280 and we'll

01:06:26.520 get to

01:06:26.900 it.

01:06:27.700 If you have

01:06:28.320 thoughts for

01:06:28.640 this gentleman,

01:06:29.660 his wife is

01:06:30.520 hooked up with

01:06:30.940 his sister-in-law.

01:06:31.800 That's wild,

01:06:32.380 brother.

01:06:33.080 That is

01:06:33.500 wild.

01:06:35.800 Let's take one

01:06:36.540 more call here.

01:06:37.240 And this is

01:06:37.580 from Andrea,

01:06:39.040 I see right

01:06:39.600 here.

01:06:40.620 Onward.

01:06:41.540 Hey, Theo.

01:06:42.320 This is Andrea

01:06:42.960 from Arizona.

01:06:45.140 My question

01:06:45.640 for you is...

01:06:47.280 Thanks for

01:06:47.840 calling Andrea.

01:06:48.600 More?

01:06:48.820 At your

01:06:50.320 age, not

01:06:51.660 saying you're

01:06:52.080 old or

01:06:52.400 anything,

01:06:53.440 but at

01:06:56.180 your age,

01:06:57.100 do you

01:06:57.700 feel like

01:06:59.140 you need

01:07:00.120 to be

01:07:00.400 married and

01:07:00.900 have kids?

01:07:01.780 Do you

01:07:02.300 feel that

01:07:02.680 type of

01:07:03.060 pressure?

01:07:03.960 And do

01:07:04.200 you even

01:07:04.460 want that?

01:07:05.360 Just curious.

01:07:07.120 Oh, it's a

01:07:07.740 good question.

01:07:09.500 You know, I

01:07:09.920 do want...

01:07:11.040 Most of

01:07:11.720 the time,

01:07:12.360 I want

01:07:12.780 children.

01:07:14.800 You know,

01:07:15.140 most of

01:07:15.520 the time.

01:07:15.940 I do

01:07:17.060 worry that

01:07:18.580 I wouldn't

01:07:20.360 be able to

01:07:21.040 handle it.

01:07:23.020 You know, I

01:07:23.760 do worry that

01:07:25.160 I would

01:07:26.080 not be able

01:07:27.140 to be

01:07:27.680 faithful to

01:07:28.740 my spouse.

01:07:30.860 I do

01:07:32.140 worry that

01:07:33.780 I

01:07:36.380 would

01:07:39.860 be caught

01:07:41.980 in a

01:07:42.220 situation

01:07:42.660 where

01:07:43.080 I

01:07:44.260 am

01:07:45.180 you know,

01:07:46.340 I have

01:07:46.640 a family

01:07:47.100 and

01:07:47.460 things don't

01:07:49.980 work out

01:07:50.280 with the

01:07:50.500 wife and

01:07:51.200 then I

01:07:52.180 have to

01:07:52.780 let my

01:07:53.800 kid down

01:07:54.320 because his

01:07:55.820 parents aren't

01:07:56.260 married anymore.

01:07:58.480 So I

01:07:58.740 think that

01:07:59.400 those are a

01:08:00.020 lot of

01:08:00.220 things that

01:08:00.860 you know,

01:08:01.480 and that's

01:08:01.920 fear.

01:08:02.580 A lot of

01:08:02.820 that's just

01:08:03.160 things that

01:08:04.040 I fear.

01:08:05.040 That really

01:08:05.700 scares me.

01:08:07.060 Some of

01:08:07.580 those things.

01:08:09.140 I love

01:08:09.840 children.

01:08:11.020 You know,

01:08:11.280 I talked to

01:08:11.640 my niece

01:08:12.000 today and

01:08:13.420 she auditioned

01:08:14.180 to be in

01:08:14.780 the school

01:08:15.120 play in

01:08:16.260 Louisiana and

01:08:17.400 just hearing

01:08:18.340 the excitement

01:08:18.940 in her voice

01:08:19.600 and what

01:08:19.920 her life

01:08:20.340 is like

01:08:20.780 and how

01:08:21.160 everything

01:08:21.540 sounds like

01:08:22.160 so big

01:08:22.900 and how

01:08:23.600 the little

01:08:23.960 things are

01:08:25.040 so important

01:08:25.660 to her

01:08:26.260 and just

01:08:29.180 hearing a

01:08:29.520 little person

01:08:29.960 talk to

01:08:30.480 you.

01:08:31.240 You know,

01:08:31.560 there's a lot

01:08:31.900 of little

01:08:32.280 joys there.

01:08:35.160 You know,

01:08:35.720 I want to

01:08:39.080 be able to

01:08:39.940 make sure

01:08:40.260 that I'm

01:08:40.600 healthy enough

01:08:41.260 to make

01:08:42.400 sure my

01:08:42.740 kids have

01:08:43.300 an emotionally

01:08:44.080 stable

01:08:44.520 environment

01:08:45.060 and some

01:08:47.380 people had

01:08:47.900 called in

01:08:48.200 a few weeks

01:08:48.600 ago about

01:08:48.920 some of

01:08:49.160 that kind

01:08:49.440 of stuff

01:08:49.780 about

01:08:50.140 things you

01:08:51.060 could instill

01:08:51.460 in your

01:08:51.700 son if you

01:08:52.220 had a son

01:08:53.800 for a woman

01:08:54.320 that was about

01:08:54.720 to have her

01:08:55.000 second kid.

01:08:55.940 A lot of

01:08:56.140 people called

01:08:56.560 in and had

01:08:57.380 some suggestions

01:08:57.980 for her.

01:08:59.480 But yeah,

01:08:59.740 I would like

01:09:00.160 it.

01:09:00.900 You know,

01:09:01.200 I would like

01:09:01.560 it.

01:09:01.700 I think I

01:09:02.000 just have

01:09:02.240 some fears.

01:09:02.900 You know,

01:09:06.300 and sometimes

01:09:06.600 I still don't

01:09:07.080 want to

01:09:07.260 grow up.

01:09:08.260 That's the

01:09:08.740 hard part.

01:09:10.640 You know,

01:09:11.160 I don't know

01:09:11.560 how much of

01:09:11.980 that,

01:09:12.300 of me not

01:09:13.020 wanting to

01:09:13.380 grow up

01:09:13.740 is just

01:09:14.260 my fear

01:09:15.200 reshaping

01:09:16.520 itself and

01:09:17.120 representing

01:09:17.680 itself to

01:09:18.280 me as

01:09:18.780 that.

01:09:20.280 You know,

01:09:21.000 my fear of

01:09:21.880 commitment.

01:09:22.440 I don't know,

01:09:22.780 all of that

01:09:23.240 could just be

01:09:23.940 the same

01:09:24.400 thing.

01:09:24.820 It just

01:09:25.060 keeps reshaping

01:09:25.920 and showing

01:09:26.300 up again.

01:09:29.100 But it's

01:09:29.660 tough,

01:09:30.100 you know.

01:09:30.460 It's tough.

01:09:31.140 It's tough.

01:09:31.800 You know,

01:09:32.120 I live in an

01:09:32.560 environment,

01:09:32.900 out here in

01:09:33.140 Los Angeles.

01:09:33.560 There's not

01:09:33.940 a lot of

01:09:34.360 examples of

01:09:35.120 that.

01:09:36.020 So to

01:09:36.380 go in

01:09:36.960 and do

01:09:38.380 that and

01:09:39.080 get healthy

01:09:40.300 in that

01:09:40.680 way,

01:09:41.160 in a

01:09:41.360 healthy

01:09:41.620 relationship,

01:09:42.300 in healthy

01:09:42.640 marriage,

01:09:43.580 it's obtuse

01:09:45.720 for what's

01:09:46.220 happening out

01:09:46.780 here.

01:09:47.660 So I'm not

01:09:48.340 saying that

01:09:48.660 that's wrong

01:09:49.240 or anything,

01:09:50.320 but you have

01:09:50.840 a lot of

01:09:51.120 examples of

01:09:51.580 that's not

01:09:51.980 what's

01:09:52.240 happening.

01:09:53.100 But I

01:09:53.460 think there's

01:09:53.740 an ideal

01:09:54.240 inside of

01:09:54.820 me that I

01:09:55.160 would love

01:09:55.460 to have

01:09:55.840 a loving

01:09:57.440 wife that I

01:09:58.180 am able to

01:09:58.740 love and

01:09:59.100 support.

01:09:59.860 I'd like

01:10:00.220 to have

01:10:00.620 some

01:10:01.100 children.

01:10:01.580 that feel

01:10:06.120 connected to

01:10:06.840 me.

01:10:07.340 Not to

01:10:07.740 just that it

01:10:08.760 seems like I'm

01:10:09.320 connected,

01:10:09.740 but really that I

01:10:10.320 can connect

01:10:10.880 with and that

01:10:11.840 they know that

01:10:12.360 I care.

01:10:12.860 and I'd like

01:10:15.620 to be able to

01:10:15.980 have a

01:10:16.200 home where

01:10:16.740 maybe do

01:10:17.960 some foster

01:10:18.480 family.

01:10:18.960 I think about

01:10:19.460 a lot of

01:10:19.780 stuff like

01:10:20.160 that.

01:10:21.320 I know that

01:10:22.340 I have

01:10:22.760 enough love

01:10:24.200 inside of

01:10:24.660 me for

01:10:24.860 that kind

01:10:25.200 of stuff.

01:10:26.460 I just

01:10:26.880 don't know

01:10:27.420 if I can

01:10:28.080 fend off

01:10:28.600 my own

01:10:28.940 dark arts

01:10:29.660 and hold

01:10:32.920 myself

01:10:33.500 together

01:10:34.960 enough to

01:10:35.580 get through

01:10:36.080 it.

01:10:37.180 But I'm

01:10:37.700 hopeful.

01:10:39.540 I'm hopeful

01:10:40.320 and I hope

01:10:40.820 that if I

01:10:41.180 stay in

01:10:41.600 environments

01:10:42.440 where I'm

01:10:42.800 learning from

01:10:43.200 other men

01:10:43.800 and thinking

01:10:45.600 about this

01:10:46.000 kind of

01:10:46.220 stuff and

01:10:46.600 answering

01:10:46.880 questions like

01:10:47.560 this that

01:10:48.120 my brain

01:10:50.840 and heart

01:10:51.200 will continue

01:10:53.340 to get to

01:10:54.400 know each

01:10:54.680 other better

01:10:55.160 and find a

01:10:56.420 comfortable

01:10:56.720 ground where

01:10:57.280 they are

01:10:57.900 sure and

01:10:59.060 confident that

01:11:00.440 they'll be able

01:11:01.000 to get me

01:11:02.500 through not

01:11:03.960 just me but

01:11:04.540 my family

01:11:05.040 through those

01:11:05.460 times.

01:11:06.620 A lot of

01:11:07.780 it's ego.

01:11:10.300 My ego is

01:11:11.300 dangerous.

01:11:12.860 My ego can

01:11:13.460 be dangerous

01:11:14.360 and I

01:11:16.480 got to get

01:11:16.760 myself worth

01:11:17.380 a little bit

01:11:17.800 better.

01:11:19.060 That's one of

01:11:19.620 my problems

01:11:20.080 sometimes I

01:11:20.740 feel like

01:11:21.300 both of

01:11:23.520 those things

01:11:23.820 and it's

01:11:24.220 crazy to

01:11:24.580 have one

01:11:24.920 at the

01:11:25.140 same time

01:11:25.540 as the

01:11:25.760 other.

01:11:26.660 To have

01:11:30.000 a bit

01:11:30.780 of egomania

01:11:31.800 and an

01:11:32.960 inferiority

01:11:33.920 complex at

01:11:35.100 the same

01:11:35.380 time.

01:11:36.880 That's

01:11:37.200 sometimes

01:11:37.500 where my

01:11:37.820 brain is.

01:11:40.620 It's a

01:11:41.320 little mixed

01:11:41.740 up but

01:11:42.400 it's

01:11:43.400 evening out.

01:11:46.040 I appreciate

01:11:46.660 that question

01:11:47.400 and I

01:11:48.180 appreciate the

01:11:49.380 episode.

01:11:50.500 I appreciate

01:11:50.940 you guys

01:11:51.460 being here.

01:11:53.020 I feel like

01:11:53.960 this episode

01:11:54.340 was all over

01:11:54.780 the place but

01:11:55.220 sometimes they

01:11:55.800 are.

01:11:57.400 What's going

01:11:57.960 on with me?

01:11:58.580 Not much

01:11:59.080 else.

01:11:59.660 Anything else

01:12:00.080 I got to

01:12:00.380 do?

01:12:01.880 Just tell you

01:12:02.640 guys thank

01:12:03.200 you and just

01:12:04.440 let you guys

01:12:04.880 know that I'll

01:12:05.240 see you this

01:12:05.680 Thursday and

01:12:06.840 also subscribe

01:12:07.560 on YouTube.

01:12:08.260 If you haven't

01:12:08.600 subscribed go

01:12:09.300 ahead and

01:12:09.600 subscribe.

01:12:10.560 When we get

01:12:10.820 to 30,000

01:12:11.580 subscribers I'm

01:12:13.120 going to put

01:12:14.740 out a new

01:12:15.160 comedy clip that

01:12:15.900 you guys haven't

01:12:16.340 seen.

01:12:17.900 I'll probably

01:12:18.600 also put it

01:12:19.240 out one day if

01:12:19.800 we don't get

01:12:20.200 there but I'd

01:12:21.580 like to get

01:12:22.040 there.

01:12:22.680 Continue to

01:12:23.120 hit the hotline

01:12:23.660 if you have any

01:12:24.040 thoughts about

01:12:24.440 this episode

01:12:24.920 985-664-9503.

01:12:29.300 You guys be

01:12:30.000 good to

01:12:30.240 yourselves.

01:12:30.680 You probably

01:12:30.980 deserve it.

01:12:31.720 Oh am I

01:12:37.700 tired?

01:12:38.300 What am I?

01:12:40.360 I don't even

01:12:40.720 know what I

01:12:41.180 am.

01:12:41.660 I just

01:12:41.880 sometimes I

01:12:43.940 just don't

01:12:44.180 know what I

01:12:44.600 am.

01:12:45.040 but thank you

01:12:59.700 guys for being

01:13:00.100 here with me

01:13:00.480 today.

01:13:00.840 I think I

01:13:01.980 needed a

01:13:02.680 I think I

01:13:03.800 needed that.

01:13:06.720 Ladies and

01:13:07.480 gentlemen I'm

01:13:08.280 Jonathan

01:13:08.600 Kite and

01:13:09.280 welcome to

01:13:09.800 Kite Club

01:13:10.260 a podcast

01:13:11.200 where I'll

01:13:11.800 be sharing

01:13:12.160 thoughts on

01:13:12.720 things like

01:13:13.240 current events

01:13:13.940 stand-up

01:13:14.720 stories and

01:13:15.620 seven ways to

01:13:16.480 pleasure your

01:13:17.060 partner.

01:13:18.060 The answer

01:13:18.540 may shock

01:13:19.100 you.

01:13:19.800 Sometimes I'll

01:13:20.440 interview my

01:13:20.940 friends.

01:13:21.940 Sometimes I

01:13:22.440 won't.

01:13:23.560 And as always

01:13:24.260 I'll be joined

01:13:24.940 by the voices

01:13:25.520 in my head.

01:13:26.220 A lot of

01:13:30.300 people are

01:13:30.760 talking about

01:13:31.460 Kite Club.

01:13:32.380 I've been

01:13:32.780 talking about

01:13:33.560 Kite Club

01:13:34.080 for so long.

01:13:35.060 Longer than

01:13:35.620 anybody else.

01:13:36.720 So great.

01:13:38.060 Hi.

01:13:38.680 Swaya.

01:13:39.700 Easy deal.

01:13:41.040 Anyone who

01:13:41.620 doesn't listen

01:13:42.120 to Kite Club

01:13:42.840 is a dodgy

01:13:43.700 bloody wanker.

01:13:44.980 Jermaine.

01:13:46.240 Hi.

01:13:47.120 I'll take a

01:13:47.720 quarter pounder

01:13:48.380 with cheese

01:13:48.880 and a McFlurry.

01:13:50.060 Sorry sir but

01:13:50.620 our ice cream

01:13:51.040 machine is

01:13:51.440 broken.

01:13:52.140 Oh no.

01:13:54.320 I think Tom

01:13:55.400 Hanks just

01:13:55.820 butt dialed me.

01:13:56.840 Anyway.

01:13:57.640 First rule of

01:13:58.140 Kite Club is

01:13:59.120 tell everyone

01:13:59.980 about Kite Club.

01:14:01.060 Second rule of

01:14:01.740 Kite Club is

01:14:02.760 tell everyone

01:14:03.840 about Kite Club.

01:14:05.260 Third rule.

01:14:06.200 Like and

01:14:06.500 subscribe wherever

01:14:07.400 you listen to

01:14:08.000 podcasts or

01:14:09.160 watch us on

01:14:09.880 YouTube yeah.

01:14:11.040 And yes don't

01:14:11.780 worry my Brad

01:14:12.760 Pitt impression

01:14:13.320 will get better.

This Past Weekend with Theo Von - January 29, 2018

1-29-18 ｜ This Past Weekend #70

Episode Stats

Length

Words per Minute

Word Count

Sentence Count

Misogynist Sentences

Hate Speech Sentences

Summary

Transcript