This Past Weekend with Theo Von - 12-11-17 ｜ This Past Weekend #58

00:00:00.000 all right boom boom boom all right let's get that hit him

00:00:30.000 you hear that oh it's a refreshing christmas sound right there that is uh friedrich tolberg

00:00:56.640 friedrich tolberg with christmas morning number two right there bringing us in here

00:01:05.000 on this beautiful and i mean beautiful december 11th that music you've heard that music right

00:01:12.700 there before that's kind of like when on that home alone movie when kevin finds the um you know

00:01:19.920 when it's when it's finally christmas morning and everything is at peace you know you hear it listen

00:01:25.260 with the freshly fallen snow and he comes outside of his door

00:01:34.440 and there's his mom

00:01:38.660 the world is okay the world is okay you know that's that beautiful moment music and that's

00:01:50.020 friedrich tolberg and he's coming at you somewhere probably from germany or hungary

00:01:55.580 out there in the wild in the wild of europe friedrich you can almost picture an old man with a candle

00:02:02.060 you know dog laying next to him dog's probably been dead for two years friedrich has no idea though he's

00:02:08.960 just just there writing that music old friedrich tolberg this is kind of like if you've ever seen

00:02:15.400 you've ever been at worked at a hospital and they you know sometimes they have a gay man or even just a kind 0.99

00:02:20.380 of a wild straight man comes in and he got something crazy he's been put into his butt 0.99

00:02:24.400 you know and it could be an animal or a 0.97

00:02:26.820 you know a wild a vase or something you know kind of a small vase

00:02:30.940 or anything like that and this is that music when they finally pull it out you know

00:02:35.640 you know what i'm talking about let's hear it one more time 0.98

00:02:39.860 oh they're trying to pull a dove out of some fella's buttocks right here 1.00

00:02:46.640 uh-oh looks like they might get it a little more morphine 0.98

00:02:53.960 ah praise god praise the lord i got a dove i got a dove out of my buttocks 0.65

00:03:05.540 and that happens man it's that time of year and it is that time of year

00:03:11.640 merry christmas happy holidays happy hanukkah happy kwanzaa

00:03:16.620 you know they always throw kwanzaa in there for like the black community but you never hear anybody

00:03:20.460 that celebrates it you know it's like you know let's uh i mean i guess it's good but i think

00:03:26.600 there's a few other holidays out there and on thursday's episode we're going to delve into a

00:03:31.360 little bit more of the you know that some of the holiday attractions and christmas vibe from around

00:03:35.860 the world uh just a couple though in advance you know in south africa they eat fried caterpillars this

00:03:41.600 time of year and that's a delicacy and i've actually had those in south africa i've been there

00:03:46.320 and i've had those treats over there them crawling treats and over there something you know here

00:03:53.260 i mean in america we don't animals get more rights because we don't need them as much 0.93

00:03:59.620 you know animals get extra rights here you know you might see uh two gay dogs getting married here 1.00

00:04:06.980 in new hampshire or in um you know over in uh in albuquerque you might see a couple of gay 0.99

00:04:15.340 dobermans out there you know doing sex and looking for ring shopping you know you might see 0.97

00:04:21.060 a um here in beverly hills you'll see you know last year they had a famous bichon that a lady 1.00

00:04:26.780 tried to get a nose job for it for a bichon just because you know it wasn't you know it wasn't 1.00

00:04:32.520 appeasing some of the selfies and stuff she was taking for her it wasn't good enough

00:04:36.440 you know and you'll see um you know you'll see someone out here with like a you'll see like

00:04:42.020 something like a tender man like a with like a a veal but like a baby goat that he rescued or

00:04:48.460 something now he's walking it over there on santa monica boulevard or in west hollywood

00:04:53.320 but that's just because you don't have ness you don't have necessity for the animals here

00:05:00.400 you know you get up into uh montana you get up into um mississippi they got people they'll

00:05:08.460 they see a deer they're going to gun it down you know and and but they're going to eat it they're

00:05:13.540 not just you know it's they're not just drive by shooting animals you know they use them the

00:05:19.120 animals are of necessity and when you get out there to africa you get out there to the big black 0.99

00:05:24.620 continent you know the big that big mysterious that mother earth and that thing is just the damn 0.95

00:05:31.840 womb of the world if you haven't been to africa and looked into an african man's eyes 1.00

00:05:37.060 i that's where they got the idea for lion king if you haven't look i've been uh i think i've been

00:05:43.180 africa maybe six seven times and you look into a kenyan man's eyes you can see the beginning of 1.00

00:05:50.920 humanity and i know that might sound wild to you but their eyes just go so much deeper uh than than

00:05:58.400 a lot of other than a lot of the eyes here in america because we got new eyes here you know this

00:06:04.640 country's only been around for so long you know but you get into the you get into the depth into

00:06:09.340 those you know visual swimming pools you know those wading waters that are sitting in a in a in

00:06:16.160 an african man's skull you can really and i'm i'm serious here you can see back into the almost the

00:06:23.980 beginning of time you know a lot of people out there are looking in space elon musk out there hunting 0.98

00:06:30.200 around in space how to travel through time well i'll say this if you shoot you fire me good and 0.97

00:06:35.780 hard and concise and you organize me enough and you shoot me right into a into a into a real black 0.97

00:06:43.300 african man's eye sockets i bet you i show up a million years in the past and i'll be back there 0.98

00:06:49.820 just bare just bareback riding a a damn valorasa saptisticus you know i'll be back there i'll be 0.96

00:06:58.360 back there on one of them snackodactyls you know and those are beautiful animals that only eat snacks 0.99

00:07:03.640 imagine that no meals lunch dinner breakfast brunch fuck all that snackodactyl eats when it wants to 0.94

00:07:10.960 it doesn't live by these codes a snackodactyl eat when it wants to other people sitting down for dessert 0.99

00:07:18.500 a snackodactyl break out a bowl of fucking cereal at 4 a.m because that's how they behave 0.98

00:07:24.740 but anyway africa they eating caterpillars over there it's a tradition and that's real in sweden 0.99

00:07:31.980 they got that yule goat in sweden um notorious for the yule goat oleboke and i met a couple of

00:07:42.040 swedish girls when i was in europe one time and a buddy of mine a dominican fellow tried to get me

00:07:46.680 to sleep with them um and uh they may have been by american standards we were young they were young

00:07:55.080 i'm gonna leave it right there everybody was a you know kind of just you know fresh ages uh but i told

00:08:04.940 my buddy i said i don't know man this seemed like a reach you know it seemed like a reach if this girl

00:08:11.560 don't know who the black crows are that's where you know they're like what what age is too young

00:08:17.580 to make love to a woman i'm like if she don't know who the black crows are you know that's why 0.99

00:08:22.980 that's where i at least gonna uh reconsider i'm gonna phone a friend you know before i dick down into 0.97

00:08:29.080 some young territory but that girl told me when i met her that oleboke oleboke i believe was the

00:08:37.340 swedish term for santa claus but santa have the yule goat uh sweden i'm sorry sweden has that

00:08:42.300 yule goat and the yule goat is is it isn't a real animal that's what it says here it's typically made

00:08:50.600 almost entirely of straw in the swedish tongue the christmas goat is known as the yule book

00:08:57.840 the yule book origins are rooted in mythology but it's but it's been warmly adopted by the swedes as part

00:09:04.920 of modern christian tradition perhaps too warmly the swedish town of gal galval has erected a giant

00:09:14.220 version of the yule goat since 1966 and every year since uh people have tried to torch it kidnap it

00:09:21.840 and uh even gut it even though it's just made a straw um at least 28 of the 45 yule goats um have been

00:09:31.060 have been torched so they're burning goats out there in sweden they're burning goats you know

00:09:37.160 and in los angeles you probably couldn't even have a straw goat you know you couldn't even have a

00:09:42.300 straw a straw goat out here you couldn't even have it without some limp yellow muppet you know telling 1.00

00:09:48.760 you that it's inhumane you know without some damn amoeba of a human with no spinal column who's never 0.99

00:09:56.640 done anything except lived off the internet never made any choices for themselves never even thought 0.99

00:10:04.160 a tool belt was a you know uh something they made tools on without some damn cinnamon licorice 0.98

00:10:14.860 cranberry jelly cranberry sauce eating 0.97

00:10:19.440 just tadpole telling you you can't own a straw goat it ain't right you know it's a straw goat it 0.67

00:10:30.420 should be free it's a what about it's never gonna find its straw parents shut up hush it up guy that's 0.61

00:10:39.140 not a real thing so those are some things that go on in the world and i'm gonna get into more of those

00:10:44.080 on uh on thursday's episode just examining kind of christmas around the world and um and just what

00:10:50.140 it means to some people you know and what it is and and i've just been fucking stressed man i've been 0.92

00:10:56.300 stressed out and to be honest a lot of my stress is coming from i've just been being lazy i've been

00:11:05.280 feeling depressed honestly and uh and how that shows up for me is you know i will i'll stay up kind of

00:11:15.040 screwing around on the internet looking at stuff watching videos and this and that and then i won't

00:11:20.880 get to sleep at a proper time and then i'll stay up you know and then i want to get sleep regular

00:11:25.460 amounts the next thing you know i'm not up till 11 and the next thing you know i'm just succumbed with

00:11:31.200 all the things that i want to do you know because my brain has a to-do list that never ends so then i

00:11:38.740 get depressed because i'm not getting all my stuff done you know so i just sometimes i get in this

00:11:43.140 cycle where i'm just not you know i'm not choosing to take care of myself and to do the things that i

00:11:48.780 need to do uh to feel healthy you know and to feel you know it's just like i make my own stress

00:11:58.140 it's so bizarre to me because i don't want to be doing that you know i want to be being productive

00:12:04.360 and it's that time of year where it's like just a good time to help others and to not think about

00:12:10.140 myself but then here i find this just this depression sneaking in so it's been kind of frustrating you

00:12:18.920 know and some of it is just getting up and going you know i did some yoga at the house

00:12:22.680 um you know but it's like i'll get into bed and i'll just feel i don't know i'll just feel depressed

00:12:29.680 i'll feel angry um then i start if i look at social media of course that makes you i mean twitter will

00:12:36.600 make you choke out a cousin you know so it's just been hectic it's been hectic man a little bit i

00:12:45.860 switched medications you know i take antidepressants and uh and so i switched from one of those because

00:12:52.260 it was making me sleepy so i think that could be part of it and i switched back to an old one i used

00:12:55.800 to take but they say there's that transition zone in there a couple weeks and then antidepressants

00:13:01.280 when you get off them presents when you get off them presents you i mean that's when people somebody

00:13:06.440 fly a plane into a you know into a senior citizen cafeteria you know that's those type of people 1.00

00:13:13.900 you know people burn down a library you know that's what that's when people aren't making good

00:13:20.100 choices when they're switching gears and so that's where i feel like maybe i'm just going through a

00:13:25.060 little bit of a switching gears so i am grateful that you guys are here with me today uh because

00:13:30.380 this was something that i have to do you know and this gave me something to do today um and if you

00:13:37.580 want to know how depression works for me man not trying to debbie down or nothing but you know

00:13:41.100 i'll tell you you know it's like i get like my life is cool my life is cool today when i really look

00:13:48.860 at it from an outsider's perspective you know tonight i'm uh performing i got a show a late

00:13:54.700 show at the comedy store they have their holiday party you know some of my favorite comedians and

00:14:00.240 friends will be there the staff of the comedy store um the book or the managers uh you know some of

00:14:07.500 these people are real friends of mine like people that i just really care about in my heart and they're

00:14:12.200 going to be there um i'm going to see my buddy simon rex uh is coming over we're going to go see

00:14:19.600 our buddy james blake who's a musician who's also one of the uh just a novel young thinker and

00:14:28.160 i've gotten to spend some time with the man and he's just emotionally aware and curious a neat fella

00:14:34.600 and um and simon is a new friend of mine from this year you know when i look back i'm just so grateful

00:14:40.820 to have new friends you know so there's a lot of things and just are obvious in front of me that i

00:14:46.400 get to do that are fun you know but still i wake up this morning with this feeling like i just don't

00:14:54.120 have any purpose you know like um sometimes it's just like my i wish my heart or my brain could

00:15:04.060 remember the truth instead of just immediately wander into the non-reality you know into the

00:15:15.400 into the lies you know the lies that are like well i'm a bad person or the lies that like i don't

00:15:22.800 care about other people or the lies you know i'm just thinking about myself um

00:15:28.060 but my brain will go there my brain will just you know it's it's just it's unfortunate that we're

00:15:35.860 i don't want to say gifted but we are in infected with uh with this that i'm infected with this brain

00:15:44.800 you know this depressed it's a depressive brain sometimes and i didn't want to talk about it today

00:15:49.820 a little bit because you know i wanted to just boost everybody's spirits and be alive

00:15:54.640 alive and just show gratitude but that's okay you know i can still show gratitude

00:16:01.060 um and be excited about certain things but at the same time be honest about you know what's going on

00:16:09.180 so you know thankfully today i finally got up and out of bed around one um i didn't get to bed till

00:16:16.180 about three but i got up in bed uh bed around one and a lot of it was because i you know i had to do

00:16:23.020 the podcast you know i had to prepare i had to get ready you know i got a producer came to help

00:16:28.120 today chris uh perez latino fella you know and he coming in here with these latin ideas and stuff

00:16:34.220 like that you know then piñata junkies they out there you know sipping limonada so and i'm paul and

00:16:42.240 i'm i'm uh coming in half nicaraguan you know so we got that root we got that spanish root a little bit

00:16:48.460 so i had to get up and you know show some excitement for that uh so i guess i'm really

00:16:54.040 grateful today i'm grateful to you guys for uh being here for me because this is something that

00:16:59.760 i've committed to and it's a commitment that i'm you know not giving up on so i got up i made a

00:17:08.420 gratitude list that's one thing i've been good about doing you know i'll just list off 10 things

00:17:13.180 that i'm grateful for and it can be anything you know from you know just getting some rest or

00:17:19.700 you know having teeth you know because you see some dudes that are just missing grill work you know

00:17:26.960 some dude that's uh he got the you know his grills look like it's took on some strong propane a couple

00:17:33.500 times because he blew a couple of pieces out you know and uh and i get going and now already i'm kind

00:17:41.920 of feeling better honestly since i just kind of said that to you guys real really am i in my chest

00:17:47.320 i can just feel a little bit more excited a little bit more you know i don't a little bit more free

00:17:54.980 because it's just like this prison that sometimes just i don't know i can't even explain it it's like

00:18:00.460 because i don't i mean i haven't really been that depressed this year and this is one of the first

00:18:05.880 years that i haven't when i really look back at my life and i think a lot of that is uh is probably

00:18:11.460 due to this podcast and keeping me you know giving me something to look forward to do and a lot of

00:18:17.760 you guys calling in and sharing your thoughts and feelings and stuff that's going on with you and your

00:18:21.340 lives it makes me feel like you know like i don't want to let you guys down either by not showing up

00:18:28.200 and being here so thank you for uh you know a little bit of teamwork i guess um because i just didn't feel

00:18:35.740 good you know and sometimes there's not even a reason for it you know people are like why don't

00:18:42.840 you feel good i'd be like because

00:18:46.180 because i'm probably used to not feeling good for a lot of my life and

00:18:53.460 uh and sometimes my brain goes back there because i guess it's comfortable i don't know why

00:19:01.700 i don't know why i don't even have to have an answer actually sometimes i just don't feel good

00:19:06.320 so that's it i didn't do anything bad you know i didn't do anything wrong i mean i probably could

00:19:15.060 have got out of bed and got active that's what i should have done i started thinking too much

00:19:19.020 and so you know i started thinking and instead i took an action i got out and i got cruising and

00:19:25.880 i'm here today with you guys so i'm thankful for that 100 and i ain't burning no yule goats boy

00:19:31.960 they about to be hunting straw goats out there

00:19:35.040 but back to my original thought now so in some places they kill animals they need them it's necessity

00:19:42.260 and when you get to africa okay when you get to that big a you know where indiana jones went

00:19:50.600 a couple times looking for treasure when you get there uh you see a couple caterpillars go by that's

00:19:57.480 like bison okay that is moving lunch right there in places where people are starving and that's real

00:20:05.620 stuff so you get over there that's a real deal you know people are like you hear that in the

00:20:11.840 middle of the night they're like i think i hear something and somebody look outside and it's just

00:20:16.820 a caterpillar but that don't mean anything it means you get the spears out because that's lunch you

00:20:23.320 know that could be dinner and i'll tell you this story i was in vietnam i might have told this story

00:20:28.360 before i have a very short-term uh long-term memory loss and i was in vietnam and you know you can go to

00:20:36.500 the markets there and they kill an animal right there for you in the market you know what i'm saying

00:20:40.340 you want to uh you want an owl you want a little bit of owl meat chop chop get a next thing you know

00:20:47.660 they got a you know they got the owl right there they got a you know i'm no birth certificate this 0.92

00:20:52.960 ain't no cabbage patch fucking cutlery cutlery place this is the real deal they got an owl you know 0.97

00:20:59.960 chop chop you know they got a um aardvark you want a little bit of aardvark next thing you know 0.98

00:21:06.640 they cracked cracked cracked open a spine of a aardvark you know and they got you know they

00:21:11.780 pouring the marrow into a cup and they dipping you out a couple of a couple of a couple of vark

00:21:16.420 medallions you know next thing you know you're rolling out of there with eight little cuts of

00:21:20.380 you know vark so people you know you go into these vietnamese markets anything is a meat what do you want

00:21:29.880 you want a little bit i mean look dude if some if some uh some visitors went missing

00:21:35.180 dude i guarantee you they show up on a menu in a market you want two pounds of kathy

00:21:41.160 huh you want a couple grams of andy we got him so i went in there and i was thinking you know with

00:21:50.140 these american thoughts you know i went in there like oh they got a pit they had a couple of uh

00:21:54.700 pigeons in there you know or might have been uh what is it um some of god's canaries you know uh

00:22:03.500 a couple partridges they had a couple partridges in there in a cage you could buy them you know

00:22:08.620 dollar a partridge so i'm thinking i'll get me a partridge i'm gonna set it free i'm gonna change

00:22:14.920 the game you know i'm gonna be this big you know fancy fella here i'm gonna come in here and show these

00:22:19.960 vietz how to change the game by setting animals free dude i bought one dollar for a uh partridge

00:22:29.780 right get that partridge i run outside with it you know i mean this is my moment in the sun

00:22:35.660 you know this is my uh this is i let that that partridge loose man i tell you immediately

00:22:46.020 eight different vietnamese people jumped on this partridge they had a one dude pulled a sword out

00:22:51.920 of his belt and went right at the partridge dude another dude came rolling off of a tree branch

00:22:57.200 dropped down on a rope and try to snatch for it another i mean people came it was like it was

00:23:04.500 choreographed by the lord it was just not just eight different levels of partridge attackers 0.98

00:23:11.360 and one guy got to it first right grabbed it right out there in the wild in the open in a in a

00:23:18.000 parking lot by a vietnamese market snapped its neck did a nip neck snap on that partridge you know

00:23:25.000 i'm not talking l5s1 dude i'm talking l9 i'm talking about up top snapped its neck and just put it right 0.98

00:23:32.220 on his shoulder because vietnamese have small little shoulders you know barely could hold a book on them 1.00

00:23:36.860 barely could really hold a small book or a notepad you kind of probably comfortably set a notepad but

00:23:42.340 they got very very small shoulders and he walked off and that's when i realized wow yeah animal rights

00:23:51.560 definitely but uh but these people aren't killing these partridges over here because for fun that man 0.93

00:23:58.180 was going home that man was going to have thanksgiving dinner or whatever you know vietnamese holiday

00:24:03.400 supported a meal that man was going to feed his family so i guess if you got a meal man get your

00:24:10.120 meal you know i know i'm going to go over to mississippi this year for uh christmas eve i spend

00:24:15.140 my christmas eve in mississippi and you know that somebody's going to be sharing up a rare meat over

00:24:20.540 there you know and i've dude i'll dude i will i will find a way to get a little bit of dove or some

00:24:28.080 venison or hell if they had vark i'd have a slice of that you know i don't know what they'll have

00:24:34.200 you know turtle you know a little bit of horse or something whatever all right let me get into this

00:24:43.900 as always thank our charter sponsor gray block pizza gray block pizza you know where it is

00:24:50.200 it's on pico boulevard heading towards the beast in los angeles and if you want a slice you want

00:24:55.920 something treaty go to gray block pizza i'll name a pizza they have right now the deep cheese

00:25:01.640 and i got deep and cheesy on that read also if you want to know why uh movies aren't good anymore

00:25:11.280 and this is if you don't believe it then you're wrong i think anyway actually i don't even know

00:25:17.580 some people maybe if you like marvel and all that movies and that's just what you like that's fine

00:25:21.720 but i like a little bit of more i like a little shawshank you know i like a little bit of um

00:25:27.740 uh what other movie do i like castlevania that was a video game but i still i like something a little

00:25:35.240 bit more i got the dark arts pending you know i like um bridges of madison county i like uh field

00:25:44.240 of dreams i like a movie that's got a little bit of touch you know i like a movie that reaches down

00:25:49.140 your throat and just kind of kind of plays with your heart a little that's what i like

00:25:54.320 and and i find that a lot of the films aren't entertaining anymore and it's because there's

00:25:58.760 only a couple of studios making films these days it's so limited it's so specific you got to go

00:26:04.560 through why are seth rogan and james franco doing a movie every six months because it's a formula

00:26:10.620 and only you know the studio just work with these guys they know we put in 100 million we're going

00:26:16.200 to make 20 million we're fine with this model we don't care that's why we have to care as consumers

00:26:21.920 and now we can with live tree adept go to live tree.com because live tree is changing the entertainment

00:26:31.580 industry by creating a new platform called adept the public us will be able to fund what they want

00:26:38.600 to watch own what they help produce decide who's in it and what goes on through the processes of content

00:26:45.580 creation funding and distribution that's like imagine fan duel but for the entertainment industry

00:26:53.840 and i know that's just my own description but that's what i'm telling you is that you can own

00:26:57.860 uh what is being created and you can have a say so and who creates it go to live tree l-i-v-e-t-r-e-e.org

00:27:05.880 actually go to live tree.com l-i-v-e-t-r-e.com and we got a couple new shirts up people been asking for them

00:27:16.760 we got this past weekend onward shirts up on theovon.com store and a lot of people been respecting this hair

00:27:25.500 it's been coming in this year you know it's the one thing sometimes it makes me feel a little bit different

00:27:30.000 are a little bit unique and we got a shirt up special on that and it says you ain't you ain't got 0.97

00:27:35.720 the balls to grow the falls that's what it says and it's got a picture of that uh that sweet gender 0.99

00:27:42.400 neutral hairstyle that's flowing off the back of my own head right now and this is gender neutral 0.97

00:27:48.160 because you want a job today you want equality well i'm going to be a living example of equality

00:27:53.780 because i'm gender neutral out here all right i'll do it i'll fold my nuts into something if you 0.99

00:28:00.260 want to contest it i will fold my nuts into a you know do some um that or or a vagina i'll do some 1.00

00:28:10.460 or a vagina and fold my nuts into something because i'll come across i'm coming across you know because 1.00

00:28:16.800 we gotta we gotta we gotta stick together if you gotta be a lady at some points you be a lady you know 1.00

00:28:23.220 sometimes i want to be you don't think i want to be a big beautiful woman sometimes

00:28:27.460 you know get a cutlass and straight up chill eat some lemon cookies and breastfeed something 1.00

00:28:36.420 then you are you're dead wrong dude i'll breastfeed a damn adult boy with a lemon cookie in my jaw 0.99

00:28:43.980 gang gang call me rosemary you know so sometimes we all go through some things i said i want to lay in bed 0.99

00:28:52.300 you know sometimes i want to lay in bed and watch um little women you know or watch um you know

00:29:01.700 care bears and or something and have girl snacks sometimes i want to that's okay it doesn't make

00:29:08.540 me a bad person it doesn't make women a wrong person or wrong gender teamwork man what's going on

00:29:16.520 out here this past weekend a lot of fires a lot of fires they're setting it off you know chelsea

00:29:23.540 handler had to escape for from her home kind of a bummer i wouldn't mind if she'd have caught a 0.53

00:29:29.600 couple of flames to the jaw you know i'm not a chelsea handler fan i am not a chelsea handler fan i just

00:29:38.020 i have trouble with the elitist just speaking down to other people

00:29:41.220 because i don't think it solves anything you know and i'm not saying that maybe i don't do it

00:29:47.780 at times you know when i think i'm better than someone that i speak down to them

00:29:51.640 uh but i if i do do it i want to find ways so that i don't 0.90

00:29:57.800 i just don't like it i don't know that this just burns my balls open sometimes

00:30:03.460 but you know what i do i pray for swear dude praying just because i need to get that if i got

00:30:12.460 if i got that hate i have anger in me i gotta let that go that's not gonna do anything for me

00:30:16.320 that's my issue if i got it you know but i swear some of these disconnected people i'm just like

00:30:22.400 what is are you serious this you have do you know what it's like to be a human do you know what

00:30:29.300 it's like to have any sort of struggle in the world just sitting up in your billion dollar perch

00:30:34.660 telling people the california wildfires they got a video of a man uh chasing a rabbit out there and

00:30:41.700 dude if you ask me the rabbit's trying to get away from this man you know that dude seemed like a

00:30:47.080 straight lurker he's out there catching bunny that dude is out there catching bunny dude that dude that

00:30:54.880 rabbit tried three times to get away from that guy you know and both of them one of them seemed

00:30:59.540 they might they might have been a little bit tender you know coming in a little bit soft in the thighs

00:31:04.160 one of them seemed like they might have been a little bit uh you know like they might have just

00:31:10.440 you know what i'm saying man one of them they seem like they might have been

00:31:14.280 you know you might be able to find them on grinder later you know little larry or little lance or little

00:31:20.620 even the rabbit maybe the rabbit looked like he was trying to maybe hop into some things

00:31:24.640 but there was a lot of fires man i woke up to that video i know everybody saw it the one where

00:31:30.560 the guy's just driving and there's a the the three road markers or the the green sign you just see the

00:31:37.560 hills just roasting in the difference like in the distance like just like a little baby mordor happening

00:31:42.560 and that's a no joke that is probably three miles from my house so it's close man you know a lot

00:31:51.720 going on a little bit of smoke in the air people wearing masks though come on i see a lady at the 0.97

00:32:00.140 supermarket got a mask on some just air muppet you can't handle a hit of air take a swig off some air

00:32:11.220 did i remember when i was growing up they burned everything in the ditch did if you didn't want it

00:32:17.000 or you didn't want somebody else to have it burn it in the ditch ditch fires man ditch fires

00:32:24.380 everything you run and jump over them feel that heat on your cry yo you had to open your legs to

00:32:31.200 get across that ditch and you feel that feel that freaking feel a little bit of stream hit you you

00:32:37.700 know you feel that hit ah it was fun man the smell of a little bit of burning in the air i miss that

00:32:44.140 it was like a camp a little bit of a kid had that campfire vibe you know but yeah people's burning

00:32:48.980 out here and they got you know rich people just riding down the hills on basically on the backs of

00:32:54.840 their workers you know i wouldn't be surprised to see you know rosie o'donnell just surfing down the 1.00

00:33:03.300 hill on the back of a latino yard worker you know esteban plank because i gotta get down this hill

00:33:13.060 but yeah it was taking out some of the rich the fires hunting the rich you know what's going on

00:33:20.060 what's going on but that man trying to get that rabbit that seems very questionable to me

00:33:25.660 seem like they either knew each other or one of them had ulterior motives do y'all just happen to

00:33:31.660 meet up on the side of the road

00:33:32.800 whatever what else small town in ireland proves that not all air pollution is bad

00:33:42.920 the luck of the iris strikes again as a small town in ireland is getting a little second hand

00:33:49.440 high off a nearby viagra factory whose fumes are polluting the airs that's true local bartender

00:33:57.320 debbie o'grady describes the air as one whiff and yo stiff well thanks deb but yeah man i'd get that hit 0.98

00:34:06.620 boy because i'm no stranger to that to that uh to that dick game man you know i'm saying if i feel 0.98

00:34:14.160 like it might even just be a crazy night i tell i throw five milli of cialis into my system just going 0.97

00:34:18.800 to lunch if i'm gonna go to the mall i mean dude i've been out there where you go on a date you think

00:34:25.320 things are going well you know you pop five six seven eight millies you know so you're running a

00:34:31.620 little bit with a little bit of lift you know and um and then the date goes sour so now you're running 0.92

00:34:39.440 on about you know 22 worth of uppers worth of cock uppers and you're out in the wild so i don't want 1.00

00:34:50.280 to say like you don't turn into like a rapist of course but you definitely turn into somebody who's 0.94

00:34:56.620 trying to get their value out of their medication and i don't know what that makes you really i don't

00:35:03.720 know what that makes me really but yeah man i've been out there dude just just lifted you know out

00:35:11.960 there just diving boarding at the mall or after a dinner you drop the date off she wasn't interested

00:35:17.560 you thought it was going one way next thing you know you just wheeling around town with that you know

00:35:24.140 caught up with that third femur you know you got that gift boy you got that blood gift in your cat

00:35:32.380 and that's wild and that makes you feel you're not a superhero but you definitely

00:35:39.260 you're looking to show off your special powers if you can find a lady that's interested 0.97

00:35:43.580 so i wonder is there is there any you know it doesn't say that on the box really

00:35:49.320 it doesn't say it doesn't say if the date you're planning on they just got two people on a

00:35:53.840 mountaintop in a bathtub and it doesn't say if you're planning on being wild and it doesn't work

00:36:00.500 out what do you do with that boner then

00:36:02.700 you know because it's out there what else

00:36:08.860 um we got the 25th anniversary of the first ever text message is coming up do you realize that

00:36:17.100 the 25th anniversary of the first ever text message that's this week and the first ever text

00:36:23.480 message was merry christmas pretty beautiful huh

00:36:26.220 that's nice the first thing anyone ever sent anybody over text was merry christmas

00:36:33.520 that's a nice thought now 25 years later more than 780 billion text messages are sent every year in 0.99

00:36:43.000 the united states alone and some of them probably is d picks you know and i don't use my own dick 0.99

00:36:51.000 pick if i sent a dick as my buddy jason tebow and he got a decent cock on him over there and he's a 0.99

00:36:56.320 comedian and he uh sold me two dick picks actually this year and so i might up my game and buy another 0.99

00:37:02.720 two next year pinning on you know what's happening and stuff oh but we're gonna get into a couple of

00:37:09.380 calls here man you know i didn't have a big plan for this episode and i guess i don't really have

00:37:14.340 to you know i start feeling some pressure like i gotta have a plan sometimes with the podcast as

00:37:19.580 we go on but i mean my main goal every week just needs to be you know just to keep it going and to

00:37:26.180 show up um and i appreciate you guys showing up listenership is growing and and people are part of

00:37:32.560 this community is good and we've had a good year and we did some cool stuff you know we've helped

00:37:37.340 some people we've shared some topics we've got some voice out there some people's voices

00:37:41.760 i got two beautiful thank you notes this week i had somebody drop off a gift at the comedy club

00:37:48.280 for me i haven't even opened it yet i'm waiting till christmas um this young lady lauren thank you so

00:37:54.300 much uh it's just been good man i've had my buddy ken uh kevin best has helped me make the shirts

00:38:01.440 you know the onward shirts that are now available in the store you can check them out

00:38:05.700 it's just it's been a good year and i owe a lot of that to you guys for showing up

00:38:10.120 and being a part of my life uh this year and uh

00:38:14.580 you know i'm i'm uh i'm thankful you know this has been when i look back on my life you know

00:38:22.340 sometimes i don't really know you know what i've done um and i don't really feel you know i have to

00:38:29.320 feel i have to feel like i have to be constantly reminded you know i need constant proof that

00:38:38.460 i'm okay or that i am doing things or doing my job i mean some people would look and be like oh man

00:38:48.160 you're so lucky you're like i'm talking to my buddy brian yesterday he's like you're so lucky you know

00:38:51.480 your life like you seem like you have it all and this and that and then here i am you know and i don't

00:38:58.140 even want to get out of bed even though i have a great day ahead of me full of people that love me

00:39:02.540 and people that i love and uh you know so that's maybe what some of what we're doing here for each

00:39:08.880 other you know and i think we're going to try to get back to you know i'm gonna look i'm gonna listen

00:39:13.500 over the holidays and listen to the different episodes from the year and see what worked and

00:39:17.420 what didn't and i'm always open to you guys as constructive criticism always you know we're this is 0.90

00:39:22.560 we're trying to do this shit together whatever it is um so make sure to you know hit up in the 0.80

00:39:28.780 youtube comments or whatever uh and uh and thank you guys now i will say this we had a call last week 0.88

00:39:34.940 from at two weeks ago from adam right i'm gonna replay adam's call because adam called in this week

00:39:40.320 and was not happy uh about the responses that we gave him let's hear adam's uh some of the replay

00:39:46.680 from adam's original call about pornography and um and gang banging in-house more

00:39:54.840 hey what's up theo my name is adam and uh got a little question for you maybe uh get your thoughts

00:40:05.000 on a little little something something in the dark arts that i've been uh my wife at about year two

00:40:13.820 informed me that watching pornography was akin to cheating okay so adam's calling up to get

00:40:22.720 thoughts his wife thinks uh informed him in year two watching pornography is akin to cheating let's

00:40:28.000 hear more she requested that i stop watching that pornography she wants you off that porn okay 1.00

00:40:35.120 and so i did but uh what she did for me was she allowed me to start filming uh us doing the nasty

00:40:49.740 so she doesn't want you watching it but she's now okay with you directing and producing it 0.97

00:40:54.820 in-house with her onward us making that sweet love and uh oh yeah dick tricks and all of it man i've 0.91

00:41:03.780 seen it all on the web that's got me through you know it got me it gets me through those you know 0.96

00:41:10.680 those dry spells you run into so anyway the dark arts part of this comes in with me i kind of want to

00:41:20.360 film her banging somebody else okay so you want that assassin boy you know you want that gunner you

00:41:30.220 want that hitter swinging off the uh you know jumping off the bookshelf you want that brother you know 1.00

00:41:36.960 with that erection jumping off the bookshelf and just swanning up in your wife's trap you know into 0.99

00:41:44.360 that ph balance trap you know hopefully let's hear more anyway man i'd like to know your thoughts on that 0.99

00:41:51.620 you know is asking her to do that or eventually maybe even getting her to do that what you think uh 0.95

00:41:59.080 kind of a an effect it might have on the old marriage okay there you go that was adam's

00:42:05.960 original call right so we had callers call in last week on the thursday episode i believe it was

00:42:11.180 and give adam their thoughts because i i put that out to everyone uh mr adam because i didn't have

00:42:19.140 experience you know i mean i made love to a couple girls that were you know were cousins i guess in

00:42:25.540 indiana one time um you know definitely at the end by the end of it all they were at least

00:42:33.200 closer than they were before that's for sure but and then another time in missouri i had a woman 0.97

00:42:39.120 you know a hottie and this other this other lady was kind of this sort of you know kind of polish or 1.00

00:42:45.600 baltic sort of barbell lifting looking young lady you know want to get into something wild before we 1.00

00:42:53.420 hit the airport i had to and then i had to hitch a ride from them to the airport and the one had to

00:42:58.060 drive didn't get as much you know wiener treatment as much as the first one so the one that had to

00:43:04.440 drive she was feeling left out you know and dude the irony i kid you not i remember you know the

00:43:10.040 barbell is the one that was on them barbells you know you ever see the barbells that have like a

00:43:14.320 hundred hundred written on the side or a thousand she looked like one of them ladies you know wearing a 1.00

00:43:17.840 unitard kind of you know she was jacked up you know neck bone connected to the uh connected to 1.00

00:43:25.240 the calf muscle you know i'm saying she was bowed up she had that emmence smith kind of you know back 1.00

00:43:30.860 strap but she she had to drive me and then the hot one sitting up in the air you know in a shotgun 1.00

00:43:38.120 feeling all pleasured out you know feeling empty a little bit feeling like somebody just you know

00:43:44.020 poured a couple a cup of you know room temperature tea right between her legs you know feeling really 1.00

00:43:49.360 kept up and satisfied and then the uh you know that wrangler that hit her she's having to drive us 1.00

00:43:58.100 to the airport and she had a stick shift dude and i could tell that every time she touched that stick 0.98

00:44:02.760 shift it just reminded her of some of that c that she you know some of that extra you know that

00:44:10.680 mahogany wiener that strength that i that she didn't get and i feel bad about it a little bit

00:44:15.920 i should have you know done 50 50 and you should do that in a threesome kind of deal but anyhow so you 1.00

00:44:20.740 said so those were my only things i could offer to you mr adam but then you came in this was it's but

00:44:26.700 other callers had other thoughts they gave you thoughts on what they was pornography cheating uh they

00:44:31.640 gave and they were all over the place i felt like and they were you know some people say well

00:44:36.460 whatever your wife says is cheating that's what's cheating somewhere it's definitely not 1.00

00:44:40.620 cheating somewhere it is cheating if your wife says so uh one caller said that you well let's

00:44:48.160 hear what let's hear what adam said because then adam called back after hearing that episode this was

00:44:52.680 adam's call here we go what's up this is adam i am your caller that apparently you had a whole show

00:44:59.340 about my call and i just got done watching it and uh kind of off put by the callers you put through

00:45:08.240 a bunch of a bunch of a bunch of jealous haters dang adam coming in his oven's already preheated

00:45:17.920 before he got on the phone huh he already baking bread let's go calling in to condemn me for what

00:45:24.440 i want to do in the privacy of my own bedroom with my wife and uh just to dispel a few fictions that

00:45:32.900 were made up about me by your callers and some by you okay he throwing stones but no i appreciate

00:45:42.260 your call adam i do appreciate this call i appreciate the response i am intrigued let's hear more

00:45:47.520 pornography was never a problem with me i'd watch it occasionally the reason my wife said it was akin

00:45:52.920 to cheating is because she saw it on my phone one time when she got in my phone okay we didn't know 0.98

00:45:59.420 that let's hear more wasn't a regular watcher of it but like i said it got me through you know a few

00:46:04.920 dry spells here and there but you had all these callers calling in condemning me telling me i was

00:46:10.620 crazy telling me i had sick issues and all this stuff and first off you know let me let me clarify

00:46:17.940 some things for some people i have a happy marriage i have a secure marriage swag marriage my wife and i

00:46:26.720 are freaks together so it wouldn't be something that she would completely freak out about

00:46:35.840 gang gang but you know you call this a safe space and then i listen to your show and it's nothing but 1.00

00:46:43.420 just haterade pouring out your lines with all these bitter women calling it's just pathetic man 0.98

00:46:52.500 bitter women i mean i felt like and there were some ladies that called and i thought that they had 1.00

00:46:58.040 a female perspective for you you know i don't think that just i didn't find them to be bitter i felt like

00:47:04.880 they were genuinely concerned let's hear some more adam after hearing all your calls i decided not to talk

00:47:13.140 to my wife about the whole bringing somebody else in maybe it's not a good idea i heard one caller say 0.98

00:47:20.220 that you know it's a it's a murderer waiting to happen or some crazy shit and so you're saying 0.93

00:47:26.840 you decide let's so you just you then went with their advice even though they're all these people 0.94

00:47:33.000 crazy you went with their advice hear more anyway disappointed at the show and disappointed in 0.93

00:47:41.040 you for kind of piling on with all your other retard callers so uh dang he now he's now he's uh 0.98

00:47:48.800 counting chromosomes now you counting soames on people wow uh i'll still listen to you you're still 1.00

00:47:57.760 my favorite comedian i love what you do but your callers can suck a dick and he's still trying to 1.00

00:48:04.580 get more sex at the end there you hear that offering his own cock out at the end adam i appreciate 0.99

00:48:11.620 your call man and i'm gonna tell you first of all i thought about this man i even took a couple of notes 1.00

00:48:15.940 first of all there was some misinformation okay because we didn't know that your wife was a freak

00:48:21.720 you know we didn't know you was that you was dating a wild cat you know we thought you had a smitten

00:48:28.380 kitten at the house you know you said your wife didn't want you to you know or had called you out for

00:48:33.820 watching pornography after two years of marriage so that makes we're picturing you know we're picturing

00:48:39.740 a little froiline in the kitchen she got the apron you know you know says save it for marriage on it 1.00

00:48:46.200 you know knit it into it by her grandmother she's you know we're picturing a smitten kitten you know

00:48:51.100 she's at the home you know you know uh welding homemade jingle bells maybe it'll be the craziest 0.94

00:48:55.960 thing she ever does is welding homemade jingle bells in the in the garage you know one year when 1.00

00:49:01.900 she's feeling wild you know instead of you know going into lesbianism after you guys have been 1.00

00:49:06.120 married for 15 years or whatever she gets that out of her system by welding homemade jingle bells 1.00

00:49:10.960 heavy bells you know some denoters in the uh in the garage one year and that's how she gets it out 1.00

00:49:17.220 of her system we pictured that you know we pictured that sort of a of a vibe of a woman i believe 0.64

00:49:24.220 and then also we didn't know that she was you know that she was had that cruella de vil in her 1.00

00:49:31.600 you know she didn't we didn't know she had 101 dalmatians trying to get up in that a 0.80

00:49:36.060 you know we didn't know she was like that so for one there was misinformation and that's okay look

00:49:42.780 i like a freak you know i like somebody that don't mind doing some things or showing out some things

00:49:49.240 you know somebody that you know let you get in a carport every now and then even though you already

00:49:55.660 you know in the garage but when when you heard when i think when the audience heard you ask me

00:50:02.640 for thoughts or suggestions uh about jerking off about cheating and i didn't have them then i put

00:50:10.300 it over to them you know and that's the thing it's like maybe i should have said hey i don't have

00:50:17.000 maybe i should say on the hotline and this is for anybody hitting the hotline from now on

00:50:21.260 that this call a call could be put out to other people you know and i'm sorry so i do apologize

00:50:29.280 for that man if i you know if you didn't want it put out to the masses like that for other people's

00:50:34.420 thoughts then i am sorry because i you know i didn't really let that know be known and i'll make

00:50:40.480 that clear from now on and i hope listeners understand that and the hotline is 985-664-9503

00:50:46.920 and all you guys knew that i was going to drop that hotline number right there too

00:50:50.660 all y'all are sitting like i bet he gonna drop this hotline number um but i was crowdsourcing i put

00:50:56.880 it out to the audience you know and i thought they did a good job i thought most people had your care

00:51:01.520 or concern i thought you know i thought it was pretty supportive you know except the one lady did 0.98

00:51:07.380 say you might get murdered but the more i thought about it you're talking to an avid dateline watcher

00:51:13.400 okay but what about that can opener you know my buddy jeff richards um he does a good impersonation

00:51:24.000 of uh the old white guy from one of the dateline episodes and i'm paraphrasing but he's like but

00:51:30.220 what about that can opener it was usually in the drawer so summer came and summer turned to winter

00:51:39.560 and winter turned to fall and fall turned to box day but uh you got to check him out but anyhow so

00:51:46.200 we did that man we did i felt like we did but i wanted to apologize if i let it be crowdsourced and

00:51:50.960 you didn't want it but you called out that lady say you thought you might get murdered i'm gonna play

00:51:54.940 a part of her call uh really really quick because i thought that her call was really accurate and

00:52:00.320 you'll probably like in six months be dead because like this is the beginning of like how murder 0.96

00:52:06.560 mysteries start bro like it all started when adam said hey i want you to you know have sex with my 0.96

00:52:15.460 friend mike steve then steve and adam's wife had the thing on the side where she was like oh no i don't 0.98

00:52:22.600 like steve but she did like steve and then like oh adam's got like life insurance and now bro you

00:52:30.280 just cut yourself out of the equation that's it and if you don't think that's a recipe for disaster

00:52:35.560 then i don't think you would have agreed with them at the end adam so i'm going to take you to task on

00:52:40.100 that uh but it's been a journey man you know you wanted it and i believe that our audience gave you

00:52:45.340 some really good suggestions and good thoughts you know but i do appreciate you calling in about it and i

00:52:50.400 appreciate your call back in and i'm sorry that you felt you know if you got misled a little bit

00:52:54.460 and i didn't mean that you know i'm no misleader you know i try to lay breadcrumbs and that's for

00:52:59.340 both of us to get home you know i'm not i'm not out here you know hanseling by myself you know you're

00:53:05.900 my gretel brother you know but adam boy you know that's how it goes i mean even even in the bible if you

00:53:11.500 go back to adam you know you wanted to get that fruit what happened you want to get that fruit you want

00:53:19.360 to taste that pear you want to get that lily lily and put it in your mouth you know you want to pick

00:53:26.140 a pig's foot off the branch and next thing you know you want to have a barbecue in the back of

00:53:30.240 your throat but you don't want to face the consequences well that young lady that called 0.52

00:53:35.600 up said you might get murdered she she's a woman that's a woman's perspective you know and i can't 1.00

00:53:42.660 give you that woman's perspective you know even if i do my vagina gummy and you know and even if i try 1.00

00:53:50.200 and you know put on a skirt or some type of a cotton something or some polyester breast arm fucking uh 0.99

00:54:01.940 um tankini or something i'm not i can't offer you that so that's why we outsourced it but 0.95

00:54:10.480 oh i don't even you know i i don't even know sometimes i don't even know sometimes man i'm

00:54:22.240 thinking about the holidays i'm thinking about some of the food i want to see some more food man 0.91

00:54:25.720 that's what i want damn i want some damn whipped cream i bought a bunch of pears and i've been 0.94

00:54:30.940 eating pears for the past two days and i'm i'm tired of eating pears man i really am 0.98

00:54:37.000 so we got one more call we had a caller that called in uh earlier this year and it was a call

00:54:43.160 that i've been i guess afraid to play for you and i'm not going to play it now but i'm going to play

00:54:46.660 it uh later this i'm going to play it on the next episode on next sundays i think and uh and i should

00:54:53.300 have got to it before it was about um something that happened between me and them on the road and

00:54:58.640 i'll get to it next episode and uh but first i got one more call that came in right here and i'm

00:55:03.640 going to put this through here we go yo yo jared from boston here again waiting on that snow to do

00:55:09.900 some snow plowing i know you got hit down there your family got hit down there in louisiana

00:55:16.660 yeah that's true they got that snow down there you know they got that snow down in louisiana and my

00:55:23.000 niece they sent me a picture my niece was down there on a on a quad on a four-wheeler out there

00:55:26.880 just doing donuts out in her yard and she's only eight or nine years old so you know she's pretty

00:55:32.680 brave little lady out there to be quad and out there like that but that was uh she's a ballsy 1.00

00:55:38.180 little lady um if any of you ladies out there have good uh advice on what to get like kind of a country 0.68

00:55:44.120 girl uh who are children these are children um nine and or eight eight and maybe six i think my nieces

00:55:51.640 are nine and seven and i'm trying to think of some cute kind of stuff that uh they're really smart

00:55:56.980 they um you know they just like they're kind of country girls if anybody has a good gift or

00:56:02.060 suggestion for them uh maybe email it to me if you can and that's just uh theo von t-h-e-o-v-o-n 0.75

00:56:08.700 at mac.com m-a-c.com uh and let's finish up this guy's call here we go you got that little

00:56:15.000 god blanket coming at you keeping you all nice and cozy and i'm gonna be doing some plowing i'm gonna be 0.99

00:56:22.740 doing some listening so just want to say god damn you a handsome young man thinking about 0.99

00:56:30.720 dressing you up in a little dress and a little wig oh man he trying to get me feeling special 0.99

00:56:37.360 you hear him he trying to rearrange the fridge and uh take me off that busy shelf and put me in

00:56:43.200 that crispa drawer you know what i'm talking about taking you taking you on a walk through the woods

00:56:49.920 yeah but i ain't gonna show your grandma's house i'm gonna show you the something else deal you know

00:56:56.540 what i'm saying kids huh you know we're doing some plowing we ain't doing we're doing some snow plowing 0.98

00:57:03.320 we're doing some plowing you know what i'm saying with that little boot hat you know but uh damn he 0.96

00:57:09.320 got french there at the end of that part huh more but uh i ain't really gay bro but if i was gay 0.99

00:57:15.640 i'd be all up in that ass deal you a damn handsome man dang dude look if you gay or not man it's okay 0.99

00:57:24.660 and if you if that's what you got to do to get it out of your system sometime call another man and 1.00

00:57:29.400 leave a voicemail telling you're gonna sneak him off into the woods i mean you really describe the 0.99

00:57:34.240 evening mr boston you really describe the evening mr boston about being sex and doing sex and doing 0.99

00:57:41.780 it and you know getting out of there and trying to ski between my cheeks like that you know and being 0.99

00:57:47.220 dark you know we're trying to get all brownie browned out you know that's that but he talking 0.91

00:57:53.680 about the booty time you know and yeah i don't know if you ever knew this but that song uh brown eyed 0.91

00:57:58.660 girl that's always about uh doing you know backdoor sex if you don't realize that hey where did we go 1.00

00:58:05.840 days when the rains came down in the hollow playing a new game come on 0.99

00:58:13.840 laughing and a running skipping and a jumping you're my brown eyed girl come on man

00:58:24.300 playing a new game y'all know that you know what's going on out there

00:58:28.380 but look buddy we all have to do something to get it out of our system every now and then

00:58:32.420 you know sometime i used to go to quiz nose and eat a big sandwich and when you open your mouth on

00:58:38.120 that toasty bread and i've talked about this before and you lock eyes with another man in there you can

00:58:42.420 feel the squirrels run you know you can feel that you know you can feel that homosexuality just kind of 0.87

00:58:48.580 temper through your through your through your shoulders and shake out shake down street man you can feel

00:58:55.420 your neck swirl a little and that's okay you know that quiz nose gives you that you got to let the squirrels

00:59:01.680 run a little bit you know sometime you gotta you know you gotta do something you gotta touch your buddy's neck

00:59:08.460 while he's sleeping you know and hold on to your nuts with the other hand at the same time

00:59:13.480 sometimes you gotta get that whatever it is to get that out of you you know or to get or to let it thrive 0.94

00:59:19.660 i'm speaking from a straight male's perspective you know i might do gay when i'm at 70 or 80

00:59:25.500 but for now i'm doing straight and i'm have a family and i'm gonna do all of it

00:59:30.080 you know but i'll look at gayness when i'm later i'm in no hurry a lot of these gay dudes trying to 0.94

00:59:35.520 get you to be gay right now uh back up buddy not interested 0.97

00:59:39.840 you know they say it's a choice it's not a choice you know gay dudes are always like it's not a choice 1.00

00:59:47.200 man it's nature i believe it's nature as well so then quit trying to get me to choose it bro 0.96

00:59:53.500 you know my gay friend's sneaky dude you know you get home take off your pants after a night out and 1.00

01:00:00.060 you find a gay buddy be in your pants like damn what you doing in there sydney 0.99

01:00:06.340 so you gotta have some time watch for that sneak man but you can't blame them they're men 0.99

01:00:11.760 but it but that's that you guys hit the hotline we're gonna do a thursday episode talking about

01:00:18.000 christmases around the world if you have a special christmas story or something a unique tradition

01:00:21.800 that happens at your house on christmas why don't you uh give that to us ladies i'd love to hear from 1.00

01:00:26.340 some of you ladies too about what's going on out there what do you think about this about the show

01:00:30.760 do you are we too male or you know what can we do to you know i love having a female perspective 1.00

01:00:34.840 you know because a lot of times in my life growing up i didn't have one and even if i did have one i

01:00:41.460 couldn't hear it i just couldn't i couldn't absorb a female perspective like i wanted to uh so if we 1.00

01:00:47.420 got some women out there that want to drop some stuff into us uh if anyone wants to hit the hotline 1.00

01:00:51.820 it's 985-664-9503 uh please hit it up um anybody out there struggling um anything anything you think if i

01:01:01.780 can share any of my experience you know any of my strength any of my hope i'm happy to do it uh and

01:01:07.580 thank you guys so much for being here with me today man i feel better not joking 100 if you're on the

01:01:13.320 youtube right now you can see me i got on a christmas shirt i wore a christmas shirt just for you

01:01:16.980 and i honestly i feel better and i am very uh i want to say thank you because you know if you don't show up

01:01:25.120 for me this year then i wouldn't be showing up for myself i wouldn't be showing up for you right now

01:01:29.740 to get this done and uh and that's teamwork man you know constantly amazed at what happens when

01:01:37.580 you know when we uh show up for ourselves um or when we show up for other people

01:01:43.800 you know i'm constantly amazed at what happens when uh

01:01:48.080 you know just when we connect you know when we connect it just uh more things happen you know

01:01:56.120 and i'm uh i'm happy i appreciate it i'm happier i'm gonna go my buddy's gonna be here in about 10

01:02:00.960 minutes we got a little squad beautiful crew and we're gonna head over and see mr uh james blake he's a

01:02:06.580 really soulful musician and how they packed all this you know how they packed so much urbanness into a

01:02:13.640 into a white gentleman man it's baffling so if he ever breaks open i have a feeling they're gonna 0.95

01:02:20.760 have a whole sweet family of sisters are gonna come just rolling out of his rib cage but i'm happy

01:02:26.360 i appreciate you guys being here uh i'm gonna take you out one of our callers uh said to let the music

01:02:31.380 play so i'm gonna let this play here's uh here's my um kevin wakes up in the morning uh for 0.98

01:02:38.620 christmas on home alone here's my somebody pulling a big bird out of your ass if you've 0.99

01:02:44.940 been lodged or something like that and you're at the ready med or you at the emergency care here we go 0.98

01:02:50.500 be good to yourselves guys i hope you deserve it i bet you do thank you very much happy holidays

01:02:58.460 i'll see y'all on thursday love you creeps

01:03:03.420 you

01:03:07.340 you

01:03:28.460 you

01:03:41.340 you

01:03:47.340 you

01:03:51.340 you

01:04:04.220 you

01:04:08.220 you

01:04:10.220 you

01:04:12.220 you

01:04:14.220 you

01:04:37.100 you

01:04:39.100 you

01:04:41.100 you

01:04:53.980 you

01:04:57.980 you

01:04:59.980 you

01:05:01.980 you

01:05:03.980 you

01:05:05.980 you

01:05:07.980 won't and as always i'll be joined by the voices in my head you have three new voice

01:05:14.100 messages a lot of people are talking about kite club i've been talking about kite club for so

01:05:19.980 long longer than anybody else so great hi sweetheart easy deal anyone who doesn't listen 0.93

01:05:27.580 to kite club is a dodgy bloody wanker jermaine hi i'll take a quarter pounder with cheese and a 0.96

01:05:34.700 big flurry sorry sir but our ice cream machine is broken oh no i think tom hanks just butt dialed me 0.97

01:05:42.300 anyway first rule of kite club is tell everyone about kite club second rule of kite club is tell

01:05:48.700 everyone about kite club third rule like and subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts or

01:05:54.700 watch us on youtube yeah and yes don't worry my brad pitt impression will get better

This Past Weekend with Theo Von - December 11, 2017

12-11-17 ｜ This Past Weekend #58

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