This Past Weekend with Theo Von - #633

00:00:00.000 If you missed out on any of the holiday merch, which I get it, for sure, it's a busy time.

00:00:06.360 We still have stuff available if you're interested.

00:00:08.880 We've got the Bobby collab and the Gang Gang Collegiate hoodies and the Gang Totes.

00:00:16.120 You can check it all out and see what speaks to you, if anything, at theovonstore.com.

00:00:22.040 And thank you so much for your support.

00:00:25.280 Today's guest is a stand-up comedian.

00:00:27.620 He's a content creator.

00:00:28.800 He has his own podcast called Stiff Socks, and his new tour is happening right now called Alpha Beta Male.

00:00:36.820 You can go check that out.

00:00:38.320 I'm grateful for his return.

00:00:40.220 Today's guest is Trevor Wallace.

00:00:42.920 Shine on me, and I will find a song I've been singing.

00:00:51.860 I'm on the stage.

00:00:58.800 That's crazy.

00:01:00.340 I'm going to start poaching.

00:01:01.120 I don't give a fuck, dude.

00:01:02.760 I've had people poach me.

00:01:05.080 Mr. Beast is taking some of my guys.

00:01:06.900 Has he really?

00:01:07.580 Yeah, dude.

00:01:08.380 No way.

00:01:09.640 I'm poaching.

00:01:10.340 I don't give a fuck anymore.

00:01:10.560 Mr. Beast took some of your guys.

00:01:11.940 Let's start right there.

00:01:12.740 That's wild.

00:01:13.300 Mr. Beast, well, I mean, he hires just the best of the best.

00:01:16.140 And what he does is he'll kind of like, it's not him.

00:01:18.800 It's like people who work under him, just finding all the best people in the industry.

00:01:22.600 And honestly, I don't blame him, because I've worked with some people that like, the line

00:01:26.800 on the resume is so strong.

00:01:28.120 Because you get them in, and you're like, this is a very simple thing, this simple edit.

00:01:30.840 You can do this, right?

00:01:31.620 Mock this edit and this edit.

00:01:33.660 And they're like, yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:01:34.620 And you get it back, and you just want to be like, you know what?

00:01:40.180 Fuck it.

00:01:40.520 Coloring the lines first.

00:01:41.540 Let me see that.

00:01:42.460 Spell your name alphabetically first.

00:01:45.080 Yeah, people will put trap beats and shit to your head.

00:01:47.440 But he just takes the best of the best.

00:01:49.780 And like the people in that town, where's Greenville?

00:01:54.080 Greensboro?

00:01:54.680 Maybe.

00:01:55.220 It's near ECU, wherever that one is.

00:01:57.540 Okay.

00:01:57.960 And they got a pirate as a mascot, which 2026, I don't know if you can do that anymore.

00:02:02.680 Greenville, North Carolina.

00:02:03.420 That's true, dude.

00:02:05.120 Nick Shirley will shove and bust all your mascots.

00:02:07.460 And honestly, after losing a leg, why would you still want to be on a ship?

00:02:10.140 That doesn't seem like a very steady place to be.

00:02:12.520 There's a lot of wobbles going on there.

00:02:14.840 And I love Mr. Beast.

00:02:15.740 I'll say that.

00:02:16.200 He's a good guy.

00:02:16.720 But he's smart for just taking the best of the best.

00:02:18.000 Well, I think at a certain point, you realize like.

00:02:19.860 It's almost good.

00:02:20.540 It's like if you have a hot girlfriend, and she gets hit on at a bar, I'm not mad.

00:02:25.220 I'm mad if nobody hits on my girlfriend.

00:02:27.600 Yeah, dude.

00:02:28.080 If somebody just comes up and talks to you, and you introduce me to your girlfriend, and they don't

00:02:30.600 even look at her again.

00:02:31.480 Oh, yeah.

00:02:31.760 Dude, I think the most disrespectful thing you can say to a guy after they show them

00:02:36.200 their girlfriend, be like, oh, man, as long as you're happy.

00:02:40.020 Stuff.

00:02:40.940 As long as you're happy.

00:02:42.740 Not anymore.

00:02:43.360 I'm going to take my own life.

00:02:44.380 She's free now.

00:02:46.980 Yeah.

00:02:47.540 Bro, I'm going to definitely go get her hair braided or something.

00:02:49.940 Or like get her rode up or something.

00:02:51.300 You have to do something then.

00:02:53.200 Yeah.

00:02:53.340 But then if somebody looks at your girlfriend three times, dude, you're like, whoa, dude.

00:02:56.700 You get two free glimpses.

00:02:58.120 It's like Monopoly.

00:02:58.860 You get two free out of jails.

00:03:00.080 You get two free glimpses.

00:03:01.300 And they better be up top glimpses.

00:03:03.320 They better, I mean, looking at her hairline.

00:03:05.720 Clavicles up.

00:03:06.640 Yeah.

00:03:06.860 But it is funny that like if you're, and I don't think this happens the older you get

00:03:11.080 in life, but like when you are.

00:03:12.920 Well, I'll tell you.

00:03:13.700 Go on.

00:03:16.500 Sciatica.

00:03:17.320 As you get older, it's not as much.

00:03:19.520 But like when you start dating somebody, it's almost like your boys are like, yo, check

00:03:22.340 her out.

00:03:22.740 She's hot.

00:03:23.200 Right.

00:03:23.360 Look at her tits.

00:03:24.120 Yeah.

00:03:24.560 And then those people get married eventually.

00:03:26.560 And you're like, I've seen your wife's tits.

00:03:28.140 Yeah.

00:03:28.740 Why am I even at the wedding?

00:03:29.680 I've seen them.

00:03:31.180 Yeah.

00:03:31.320 I think it's wild.

00:03:32.120 Like that's one of the things that I think could be wild sometimes about if somebody marries like somebody

00:03:35.920 that has like a lot of OnlyFans stuff out there and stuff like that, if that can be,

00:03:39.600 because I don't look at OnlyFans, but I don't know.

00:03:42.020 And some of the stuff might just be photos.

00:03:43.440 I know some of it's sex, but, um, but that could be.

00:03:46.640 It's all, it's all, it's all S-E-X.

00:03:48.720 It's, it's crazy.

00:03:50.080 You're like, truly they don't go all the way.

00:03:52.000 And you do one Reddit search and they're, they're in the dark webs.

00:03:55.400 They're going all the way?

00:03:56.280 All the way.

00:03:56.860 Oh my God.

00:03:57.680 It's crazy.

00:03:58.160 Well, I think they do it because it's like behind so many paywalls.

00:04:00.440 They're like, nobody's going to see this.

00:04:01.840 And do they even have a shirt on or anything or nothing?

00:04:04.580 No.

00:04:04.900 I don't even know if they have the AC on.

00:04:07.020 It's like a sweaty place.

00:04:08.440 I don't know, man.

00:04:09.220 It's, there's always music in the background.

00:04:10.640 It's always like Wiz Khalifa, like young, wild and free.

00:04:13.240 And you're like, I don't know if this is the most, I feel like this is a song for like

00:04:16.300 a high school graduation.

00:04:17.440 Yeah, dude.

00:04:18.420 If you're getting kind of shanked down somewhere, I think you got to have the AC on, I feel like.

00:04:25.040 AC on and windows down or like the blinds down.

00:04:28.760 It's too bright in there.

00:04:30.000 Oh yeah.

00:04:30.480 But then if some of the dark, I will say this, I haven't been a user of pornography.

00:04:34.980 You're still off, yeah?

00:04:36.520 I've had some setbacks.

00:04:38.040 Yeah.

00:04:38.340 Yeah.

00:04:38.700 And what sparked that setback?

00:04:40.980 Oh, I'll tell you.

00:04:41.600 Not to trigger anything.

00:04:42.420 No, dude.

00:04:43.020 You triggered something that night.

00:04:44.860 Frustrated, lonesome, laying there, like reading.

00:04:50.800 And then being like, oh, this book isn't enough, you know?

00:04:53.000 And it's just a book, it's like a good book.

00:04:54.300 Is it all photos or no?

00:04:55.280 It's like all's quiet on the Western front or something.

00:04:57.500 It's like, oh, this book isn't enough to make me spray, you know?

00:05:00.320 Oh yeah.

00:05:00.860 You're talking about the dust bowl?

00:05:02.180 Yeah.

00:05:03.560 I mean, there are a couple of scenes in Grapes of Wrath that kind of like.

00:05:08.420 Really?

00:05:08.980 Well, there is a very like, there's a scene where the mom at the end or a woman who's

00:05:14.160 breastfeeding at the end has to breastfeed a person because like an adult.

00:05:17.820 Oh.

00:05:18.020 Because they just don't have anything to eat.

00:05:19.940 I've been that hungry before though.

00:05:21.240 But that's like, I mean, that's, oh, we're already on Reddit.

00:05:26.740 It's about to happen.

00:05:27.620 We're two clicks away from some tits.

00:05:29.380 Yeah.

00:05:29.900 Well, let's back out of here because I'm already.

00:05:31.800 Well, I'm already, I'm looking at the Louis CK book behind you and something about that

00:05:34.660 cover like that, that feels like, I'm going to get a little aroused.

00:05:37.940 Oh, this is awesome.

00:05:39.940 But yeah, dude, I think that's the kind of thing that gets me, you know?

00:05:42.760 Yeah.

00:05:43.020 And if I haven't been meditating, I have a little, like a moment of peace before like, I like

00:05:46.800 react and do something.

00:05:47.860 Mental masturbation, yeah.

00:05:48.580 Well, it's like, I'm just not as reactive.

00:05:50.860 It's like, I have a moment of like, okay, well, what do I really want to do here?

00:05:53.600 You know?

00:05:54.180 Because then I'll jerk off.

00:05:55.380 Then I feel bad, that type of thing.

00:05:56.980 But overall, it's kind of a lot better.

00:05:58.140 I mean, it's instant.

00:05:59.260 The second it leaves the body, it's like, come out, regret in.

00:06:03.200 And it's like a baton.

00:06:04.680 It's like a handoff.

00:06:05.780 It's like, goodbye, good night.

00:06:07.760 And then you're just sitting there with shame.

00:06:09.360 Oh.

00:06:10.280 How are you in hotel rooms?

00:06:11.380 Are you like, after shows, are you like, okay, I can just go straight to sleep?

00:06:14.360 Or you're just kind of sitting there pacing a little bit?

00:06:17.240 Oh, man.

00:06:17.920 I mean, I think it's a variety of stuff, you know?

00:06:21.240 I think, I don't know if hotel rooms do it for me anymore, which is kind of sad, because

00:06:25.640 that used to be the thing.

00:06:26.800 Like, you get in a nice room, you got to jerk up right when you get in there.

00:06:30.260 That's the key card.

00:06:32.080 Yeah.

00:06:32.580 It's like, oh, I thought this thing runs on DNA.

00:06:35.420 You're just spraying on the freaking, on the swipe out front.

00:06:39.300 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:06:39.320 Exactly.

00:06:39.520 And then you stick the do not disturb sign on the nut.

00:06:42.240 But I just feel like any room, I just, it's just not home.

00:06:47.180 So it's always going to feel awkward.

00:06:49.180 It's just like the AC, the AC needs to pick a lane.

00:06:52.140 It's on, then it's off.

00:06:53.320 Yeah.

00:06:53.660 It's on, then it's, and you're like, why are you edging me with AC?

00:06:56.880 The AC does feel like it's edging all the time.

00:06:58.720 Shit pisses me off.

00:06:59.200 And it's a crazy time of year.

00:07:00.180 I think too, in the winter, you can never get the heat right in your house or your room,

00:07:03.900 whatever it is.

00:07:04.460 The heat is the worst because it's like, it's blazing hot for a second and then it

00:07:08.900 kind of disappears really fast.

00:07:10.600 It's like, I don't know.

00:07:12.020 All that stuff's kind of hectic, dude.

00:07:14.120 I mean, getting through the winter, getting through these days, I kind of, I never want

00:07:17.600 the year to start.

00:07:18.620 That's what I realized.

00:07:19.460 I do not.

00:07:20.240 Yes.

00:07:20.580 It's like, I'm still like trying to relax and chill and the year just starts back so

00:07:26.040 fast.

00:07:26.580 You've been taking a break though.

00:07:27.460 Yeah.

00:07:27.920 How are you feeling?

00:07:28.500 Good.

00:07:29.140 Yeah.

00:07:29.280 I'm feeling better for sure.

00:07:30.400 Yeah.

00:07:30.640 Nice.

00:07:30.860 But I want to just keep doing that and that's fine.

00:07:32.860 But I think the calendar is just like, here, we're going again.

00:07:36.120 You know, it's going to be-

00:07:36.880 I feel that.

00:07:37.280 It takes me a while to like calm down and then the second I started to calm down, that's

00:07:41.280 when it starts to ramping back up.

00:07:42.880 Yeah.

00:07:43.300 It's like to, if you really need to enjoy a vacation, let's say you want a week off,

00:07:47.200 you almost need like two or three days before and two or three days after to like build

00:07:51.960 in and then to like build up to get out.

00:07:54.120 Do you think like, do you think it's tougher for people to find like spouses and stuff

00:08:00.080 these days because there's so much like data, like so many people that like you've dated

00:08:03.440 your friends and all that kind of stuff.

00:08:04.820 Does that ever affect you, you think at all?

00:08:08.740 What's the question?

00:08:09.700 Like if you wanted to find like a girlfriend or something, is it tough?

00:08:11.960 Cause you're just like, oh man, my buddies date her.

00:08:13.840 It's like, there's just so much.

00:08:15.360 Oh, oh, oh, oh.

00:08:16.220 In the same town, I guess it just depends on like the-

00:08:18.540 That's probably true.

00:08:19.100 The town capacity.

00:08:20.220 I mean, like where my dad grew up, it's like 5,000 people.

00:08:23.560 Yeah.

00:08:23.720 I mean, at that point, it's like, you might have to run it back once or twice.

00:08:27.060 You might have to date somebody you've dated years back just to be like, we've hit the

00:08:30.800 cycle.

00:08:31.120 You know, at a strip club on like a Tuesday when it's slow and then like the same dancers

00:08:34.540 come out.

00:08:35.240 Yeah.

00:08:35.620 Every like three songs.

00:08:36.780 With a new hat or whatever.

00:08:37.980 Yeah, exactly.

00:08:38.520 And they just put like la in front of their name.

00:08:40.320 Yeah.

00:08:40.620 There's diamond now.

00:08:41.280 There's la diamond.

00:08:42.420 Yeah.

00:08:42.740 You're like, is this Spanish diamond?

00:08:44.080 Yeah, la gina.

00:08:45.020 So it's L diamond.

00:08:45.800 And she's next.

00:08:47.180 I think it just depends on the town.

00:08:49.240 Yeah, dude.

00:08:49.960 I think that's why guys randomly just move, though.

00:08:52.820 Yeah.

00:08:52.980 Like, fuck it.

00:08:53.680 I'm going to Oregon.

00:08:54.640 Yeah.

00:08:56.040 And dudes will be like, hey, is there some dude will send out like a tweet like, hey,

00:08:59.980 is there some good puss out in Oregon or whatever?

00:09:02.380 The craziest shit to me.

00:09:03.780 Some dudes will reply like, bro, no puss in Oregon, dude.

00:09:07.100 Yeah, bro.

00:09:07.340 And they're with a girl right there.

00:09:08.840 They're with a wife.

00:09:09.680 The craziest shit is the people that like, and I'm sure you've had people like this on

00:09:12.740 your tour.

00:09:13.540 I have a girlfriend now, so I don't do this, but like, I don't like, there'll be guys on

00:09:16.780 your tour who are like swiping in the next city.

00:09:19.440 Yeah.

00:09:20.200 They're like meal prepping swipes.

00:09:21.940 Yes.

00:09:22.500 They're like, oh, I'm already in Chattanooga.

00:09:24.440 Yeah.

00:09:24.880 We're in San Diego, brother.

00:09:26.100 What the hell are you on?

00:09:27.060 Yeah.

00:09:27.220 I've had some openers that are like that.

00:09:28.460 They're already in the next city and they're like, oh, I got a girl maybe coming through.

00:09:32.440 And I'm like, how'd you meet her?

00:09:33.260 And like, I met her on Hinge or whatever.

00:09:35.680 We're together now.

00:09:37.320 It's crazy.

00:09:38.620 Yeah.

00:09:39.020 The pre-swipes.

00:09:40.160 I don't know.

00:09:40.620 I mean, it's, I guess, I don't know.

00:09:42.840 I guess it's like kind of like ordering an Uber for the next day or something.

00:09:46.240 I don't know.

00:09:46.460 Like there's some smart strategy behind it.

00:09:48.900 That's Uber Eats, dude.

00:09:50.580 Yes, sir.

00:09:51.280 That's different, bro.

00:09:51.560 Yes, sir.

00:09:52.040 Uber Eats out.

00:09:52.980 Dude, a lot of crazy stuff.

00:09:54.080 What did I see that?

00:09:54.840 There was a one girl, Trisha Paytas.

00:09:58.600 Trisha Paytas.

00:09:59.360 Is running for office.

00:10:00.940 Did you see that?

00:10:01.580 Do you know her kids' names?

00:10:02.860 Uh-uh.

00:10:03.480 I don't know why you would.

00:10:05.540 I don't know why I do.

00:10:07.020 But her kids' names are something.

00:10:08.100 Can you pull that up somewhere, someone?

00:10:10.220 It's fun.

00:10:10.820 Yeah.

00:10:11.220 It's Elvis and Aquaman, who should be in the new Jason Momoa movie.

00:10:15.500 Wow.

00:10:16.400 And Malibu Barbie.

00:10:17.460 Malibu Barbie, yeah.

00:10:18.760 Malibu Barbie, Elvis, and Aquaman Moses.

00:10:21.360 And they're kids, so I don't want to talk shit, but.

00:10:23.920 Their names follow a theme of pop culture and iconic figures,

00:10:26.440 with Aquaman being a nod to his cancer, water sign, birth month, and the movie.

00:10:29.980 Wow.

00:10:30.080 And their fourth kid is Charlie Kirk.

00:10:33.160 No.

00:10:34.560 Reincarnated.

00:10:36.180 But this is her right here, so I never thought of.

00:10:38.240 Is this real?

00:10:39.320 She's running for president?

00:10:40.980 She's running for office, I believe, for Congress.

00:10:44.020 I never thought of myself as a political person until I started having kids

00:10:46.980 and realizing, like, the world could be just so.

00:10:50.440 And what is she eating?

00:10:52.060 Is she doing a mukbang while running for office?

00:10:54.740 That is crazy.

00:10:55.840 That's a good way to keep attention, though.

00:10:57.900 Why the fuck wasn't Biden eating goddamn overnight oats

00:11:00.920 while doing his campaign?

00:11:02.760 Biden was fucking eating ideas from years ago, bro.

00:11:06.820 That guy was fucking eating his words.

00:11:09.660 Bro, can you even imagine the pain that Biden had to go through each day

00:11:13.420 when they put him back up there?

00:11:14.460 And they're like, okay, you're going back up there.

00:11:17.000 Yeah, I feel like.

00:11:17.980 And he didn't have any clue what he was doing.

00:11:19.800 He was.

00:11:20.440 Like, you've seen people.

00:11:21.440 He's like Aaron Rodgers.

00:11:22.180 He's like, he's still playing, but he just wants to be on a beach on ayahuasca.

00:11:25.260 Yeah.

00:11:25.740 He just wants to be away.

00:11:29.020 Every day I think, who would want to be president?

00:11:31.360 Oh.

00:11:31.980 Every day you have people yelling at you.

00:11:34.640 It seems like the worst.

00:11:36.860 But I just, when he went out there and they put him on that bike,

00:11:39.480 they knew he couldn't do it.

00:11:40.960 It's all crazy.

00:11:41.960 That was the first hit from another country was the bike.

00:11:47.940 Yeah.

00:11:48.480 When he fell off that bike or when that bike went down.

00:11:51.620 That was somebody.

00:11:52.000 That was somebody in like North Dakota being like, let's take them out.

00:11:55.220 Deflate the tires.

00:11:56.340 Yeah, let's weight one of these pedals.

00:11:58.220 It would only take a little bit.

00:11:59.700 What did she say?

00:12:00.700 What else did she say?

00:12:01.400 Let's see.

00:12:01.620 Is this serious that she's running?

00:12:03.200 And for those of you who don't know, Trisha Paytas is a.

00:12:06.440 She's done everything.

00:12:07.660 She's really just culturally well-known online on YouTube and TikTok and everything.

00:12:13.220 And I believe at one point she did.

00:12:15.620 YouTuber and influencer.

00:12:16.980 P-O-R-N.

00:12:19.220 Announced.

00:12:19.700 Paytas expressed a desire to make a difference amid horrible,

00:12:22.000 stuff in California and the world, calling the idea crazy but vivid.

00:12:25.600 From a dream she had, she plans to run as a write-in candidate initially

00:12:29.120 and then self-fund her campaign.

00:12:31.380 Her potential slogan is California could be good.

00:12:35.620 Hey, that's a moderate.

00:12:37.220 That's a moderate step.

00:12:39.420 Could be good.

00:12:40.140 Yeah, it's fair.

00:12:41.200 Could be all right.

00:12:41.920 Not bad.

00:12:43.040 Could be good.

00:12:43.640 It's a fair thing to take with people.

00:12:44.800 Yeah, I feel like that's like two levels.

00:12:47.240 You know when you go to like a hot chicken place and they have all the different levels?

00:12:49.980 Yeah.

00:12:50.180 And like make America great again is the number one.

00:12:52.200 Could be good is like the starting point.

00:12:54.560 Like California could be good.

00:12:55.660 It's a nugget.

00:12:56.300 And then it's like Texas will fuck your ass.

00:12:58.380 And then it's like make America great again.

00:13:00.220 Yeah.

00:13:01.400 Wow, that's wild.

00:13:02.420 And what is some of, does she have like a policy?

00:13:05.020 What is she kind of running on?

00:13:06.040 Does she have any priorities is she saying?

00:13:08.500 Does she say it in that speech?

00:13:09.680 What is going on?

00:13:10.220 How do you even run for president?

00:13:11.500 Like where do you sign up?

00:13:12.880 Well, this is Congress.

00:13:14.640 And Congress, there's a lot of Congress people.

00:13:16.820 So.

00:13:16.980 Is Congress like the farm league for baseball?

00:13:19.420 Total of 535 members of Congress, dude.

00:13:22.940 That's like the Bray of improv.

00:13:24.540 Yeah.

00:13:25.040 Yeah, that felt, imagine if that feels the Bray of improv.

00:13:28.820 I'd bomb so hard.

00:13:29.680 100 serve in the U.S. Senate and 435 serve in the House of Representatives.

00:13:33.780 But can you go back to what her priority was?

00:13:35.480 Can we get to that?

00:13:36.040 Really dark and depressing things, but getting a fold of my mental health means being able

00:13:42.880 to not only deal with my emotions and spirals and triggers, I need to start dealing with

00:13:48.160 like the world.

00:13:49.020 I'm going to start with my state.

00:13:50.840 And I really think my slogan for my name will just be like, California could be good.

00:13:55.980 Okay, this is wild.

00:13:58.300 But good for her.

00:14:00.000 What would your slogan be for Nashville?

00:14:02.420 Ooh, Nashville could be quieter.

00:14:06.460 Let's get this shit hype.

00:14:07.880 Whiteys.

00:14:08.700 Hey.

00:14:09.260 I think that could be it.

00:14:10.540 Type shit.

00:14:10.940 And others.

00:14:11.820 And others.

00:14:12.440 Yeah.

00:14:12.860 Type shit.

00:14:13.840 Yeah.

00:14:14.120 Who's ready for some Tennessee type shit?

00:14:16.500 No.

00:14:16.820 Tennessee type shit is way better than Titans.

00:14:18.860 Tennessee type shit.

00:14:19.680 Oh, dude.

00:14:21.060 I mean, that's the first improvement.

00:14:22.900 You should be a head coach somewhere.

00:14:24.360 The Tennessee type shit.

00:14:25.180 You're at a lot of games.

00:14:26.040 Like, you know ball.

00:14:27.000 We've had a great deal of games, man.

00:14:29.580 Well, the college is great.

00:14:30.740 The university.

00:14:32.160 Cam Ward, shout it to him.

00:14:33.400 He seems like a great kid.

00:14:34.900 He's going to go far.

00:14:36.040 He seems like a nice guy over there for sure.

00:14:37.820 I mean, I only met him one time, but he seems nice.

00:14:40.200 Yeah.

00:14:40.520 They've had a rough season over there.

00:14:42.300 They're looking for a new coach right now.

00:14:43.500 So I think they're in a lot of rebuilding going on over at the Titans.

00:14:45.860 Totally.

00:14:46.220 Well, they should hire Trisha Paytas.

00:14:47.660 Because the Titans could be good.

00:14:49.540 Could be good.

00:14:50.300 Could be good.

00:14:50.980 Dude.

00:14:51.460 You're right.

00:14:51.940 It's kind of the perfect motto.

00:14:52.720 If she were to win off as the Freaky Singer, it says here, and this is The Hill, said her

00:14:58.980 primary goal would be to raise the age requirement for participating in adult entertainment to

00:15:02.840 25.

00:15:04.680 I think that's probably a good idea.

00:15:06.580 Is that because that's when like the brain is fully developed to be like, hey, should I

00:15:09.600 be throwing my post online?

00:15:10.980 Yeah.

00:15:11.260 I think, well, I guess that's, I mean, I think it's up, it's obviously up to the women, but

00:15:14.560 I think having a better understanding of what you want to do before you kind of lock yourself

00:15:20.580 into a video or something is probably, is probably a good idea.

00:15:23.500 It is crazy.

00:15:24.160 You can get fully nude on the internet before you can get a Bush light.

00:15:26.920 You can show Bush before getting a Bush light.

00:15:28.960 Yeah.

00:15:30.120 18, pop it out, but you can't go to a bar.

00:15:33.580 It is kind of wild.

00:15:34.520 But that was like the original stance with like the war.

00:15:37.020 It's like, you can fire for this country at 18, but it can't get a goddamn course lot

00:15:40.440 day.

00:15:40.840 Yeah.

00:15:41.560 That was it.

00:15:42.160 Now we've just rotated.

00:15:44.220 Women can show puss, but they can't get a Pacifico.

00:15:47.420 Well, that's what I'm running for.

00:15:49.120 Yeah.

00:15:49.760 Dude.

00:15:50.060 Yeah.

00:15:50.240 You could, you could storm the beaches of Pacifico, but you can't get one.

00:15:54.340 You know, that's kind of the crazy part.

00:15:56.200 Dude, the wildest, uh, maybe they'll do like a, like a mashup, like the army and only

00:16:02.720 family, like army fans.

00:16:04.280 Maybe they'll do like a mashup.

00:16:05.640 There's kind of an army going on.

00:16:06.940 There's like a war going on in the OF world right now.

00:16:08.900 Like, I don't know if it's like fascinating or I don't think we should draw any more attention

00:16:11.980 to it, but like, there's some girl like selling a course and everyone's kind of yelling at

00:16:16.140 her.

00:16:16.700 Who's selling, selling a course.

00:16:18.120 She's selling a course on like how to be like an OF, but she's doing like Andrew Tate, but

00:16:22.880 for like popping it online.

00:16:25.740 Like, like how to like, how to do it and do it well.

00:16:28.180 I guess maybe it's about like different positions or something.

00:16:30.180 I think it's like how to like market.

00:16:31.340 Like, like if you want to be an OF girl, this is how you would run it.

00:16:36.300 And she's, it's a course like, like with any of these guys, like Andrew Elliott, Andrew

00:16:39.560 Elliott, no, Andy Elliott.

00:16:41.240 It's just a course that they're selling for $6,000.

00:16:43.520 And now other girls who do that are like, Hey, why don't you just give this out for free?

00:16:47.420 Like, why don't, why are you stopping to a piece of shit?

00:16:48.800 Like this course is not good.

00:16:50.580 Like the course is just getting, I don't know if it's, I mean, I don't know.

00:16:54.640 I mean, it's great.

00:16:55.200 It's up to girls, right?

00:16:55.980 It's their bodies.

00:16:56.740 It's their choices about it.

00:16:58.040 Like, but I do think 18 is kind of young.

00:17:01.140 It's very young.

00:17:01.880 We had a lady on named Layla McElwaite and she talked about a lot of pornography that's

00:17:05.600 online.

00:17:06.040 It's not consensual.

00:17:08.140 So a lot, there was like a lot of, um, lawsuits that made, uh, that made like Pornhub and some

00:17:16.580 of these other sites take down non-consensual sex.

00:17:19.980 So it was sex that had been recorded, but nobody ever signed off and said, okay, yes, I'm okay

00:17:24.100 with you putting that up.

00:17:25.160 Right.

00:17:25.460 Right.

00:17:26.600 So OnlyFans, Camellia, Arajao, um, faces backlash for $5,000 course.

00:17:33.180 People saying it's a scam.

00:17:36.020 I mean, people make courses for everything.

00:17:38.440 It's like, if you go and buy this and that's your choice, do I think it's probably the best

00:17:43.020 thing to be kind of marketing?

00:17:44.720 I don't know.

00:17:46.620 I'm not a woman.

00:17:47.540 I don't know if, but I think, I don't know what I want my daughter probably doing that

00:17:52.560 if she's like eight, I don't know.

00:17:54.000 I'll tell you this.

00:17:54.840 It'd be nicer if somebody's 25 and they're able to make that choice probably.

00:17:58.900 Yeah.

00:17:59.220 I think it's just anytime people spend money on something, there's a sense of entitlement

00:18:02.720 where it's like, if you pay a premium, you're expecting a premium return.

00:18:06.180 And then if you log onto it or you buy it and it's just a shit course, then you're instantly

00:18:10.340 mad.

00:18:10.720 So a lot of those courses are pretty mid though.

00:18:14.140 Remember all those ones during COVID on Facebook, they were like, it was like the, like everybody

00:18:18.880 was putting a course up.

00:18:20.020 It felt like.

00:18:20.740 Yeah.

00:18:21.060 I mean, I did one at one point too.

00:18:22.500 I just did early, early, early on social media during the pandemic.

00:18:25.740 It was just how to vape and drive by somebody.

00:18:28.240 Blow O's and blow loads.

00:18:30.160 That's what it was called.

00:18:31.460 O's and loads.

00:18:32.580 No, it was just like during the pandemic.

00:18:33.980 And I was literally like, I'm just such a workhorse.

00:18:36.800 And I like, if I'm not doing anything, I like, I just feel guilt.

00:18:39.760 I feel like I need to be doing something.

00:18:40.880 And during the pandemic, I was like, what if I did like a, just here's everything I do

00:18:44.840 start to finish video ideas when it comes to creating ideas, adding it.

00:18:49.560 And did you feel good about it?

00:18:51.220 I felt like, I felt like it was true to me.

00:18:53.360 I don't know.

00:18:53.820 I don't know.

00:18:54.800 Which is cool because now I have multiple friends who I watch and admire online.

00:19:00.500 And like years later, we're like, yo, low key, we took your class.

00:19:03.700 Like, thank you for teaching us.

00:19:04.960 Like, hang on.

00:19:05.360 What the fuck?

00:19:06.280 Dude, actually, I took a comedy class when I started.

00:19:10.300 Yeah.

00:19:10.940 So I, yeah, you're right.

00:19:12.120 It's like, what's the real difference?

00:19:13.920 Yeah, it's, it's, it's, it's not up anymore or I don't think you can buy it anymore, but

00:19:18.100 like it was just, um, at the time it was a one-time purchase, $125, which that's fair.

00:19:24.960 Yeah.

00:19:25.740 I mean, it's like, you're a workhorse though, dude, you love your work.

00:19:28.540 You're locked in, you know?

00:19:30.220 Um, yeah, I haven't done those in a while, but yeah, well, it was, it was, it was broken

00:19:33.780 down into chapters.

00:19:34.500 It was like five hours totals of stuff.

00:19:36.280 And it was just me saying, I mean, I'm sure parts of it were like maybe boring, but I think

00:19:40.620 if you watch the whole thing, I really break it down.

00:19:42.440 Like that's, what's been the hardest thing for me is like hiring additional help is like, I am

00:19:46.520 so locked in on like exactly what I want, what I'm looking for.

00:19:49.620 And then I tell it to somebody and then they don't do it.

00:19:51.940 I'm like, no, it was this, like mock this example here.

00:19:56.040 And it just, you have to do it yourself in the end.

00:19:58.380 And that takes a ton of time.

00:19:59.720 Dude, that's the same way I'm with edits.

00:20:01.000 It's like, I got to stay up and go watch through the edits.

00:20:03.140 It's like, I just got to make sure I'm very meticulous.

00:20:05.640 It's hard for somebody to get your like exact ways down, you know, it's just tough.

00:20:09.960 Which is hard because it's like, if you do it, then they don't learn.

00:20:12.480 But sometimes just whether it's a deadline or something, I'll be like, here, just let

00:20:15.860 me over the shoulder.

00:20:16.460 I'm like, move this, do this.

00:20:17.520 I'll do it myself and be like, you get it?

00:20:19.560 And be like, yeah, but, but I'm not like teaching them.

00:20:22.120 So I don't know.

00:20:22.920 Nobody told you like getting into comedy.

00:20:24.640 Now you have to be like an employer.

00:20:25.780 Like you have to be like a boss.

00:20:26.900 Oh, that's the worst.

00:20:27.840 Yeah.

00:20:28.280 You guys hear that back there?

00:20:29.280 It's the fucking worst.

00:20:30.240 Make his life better.

00:20:31.620 No, they do.

00:20:32.760 I'm the problem.

00:20:33.620 I feel like usually it's like, you know, cause nobody knows what you want and you don't even know.

00:20:38.080 Like, yeah, it's so hard to explain yourself, you know?

00:20:41.320 Oh yeah.

00:20:42.180 Yeah.

00:20:42.660 But it is crazy from going to somebody who just wanted to kind of rest all day and like

00:20:46.820 barely made it to the show sometimes.

00:20:48.860 Dude, I remember one time I was drunk.

00:20:50.540 I peed on my phone or whatever, and I couldn't even fucking get ahold of like the people to

00:20:54.920 come and get me for the show.

00:20:56.260 Just like nightmare shit.

00:20:58.540 And then to go from that to being like, oh dang, I mean, I like people are waiting to hear

00:21:03.400 back from me about stuff.

00:21:04.640 It's like that kind of stuff's a lot, I think evolving in a place, especially if you find

00:21:09.940 out that you like to work a lot and then becoming a boss is super hard and, and learning

00:21:15.660 to communicate like a, like I'm trying to learn to communicate better.

00:21:19.760 It's been a slow climb, man.

00:21:22.060 The hardest part for me is like, if I'm not working, then nobody's working.

00:21:24.540 It feels like, which isn't true, but like, it feels like I need to be there to like run

00:21:27.440 ship.

00:21:28.380 But if I'm not, then people are kind of like, what are we, who do I, how do I, that's why

00:21:32.080 the touring makes it hard.

00:21:32.980 So in a perfect world, I just want to bring everybody, fuck it, bring your Dell, bring

00:21:36.460 your PC, you're editing on this flight and we can just all be there, which is just not

00:21:39.780 realistic.

00:21:40.440 But I feel like comedians now work harder than they've ever worked.

00:21:43.000 When you first started, like, I remember you were on Last Comic Standing, right?

00:21:46.980 Like in those days, what was kind of like your day to day in comedy?

00:21:50.600 Like it was just, you wake up and you just had spots at night or were you doing other shit?

00:21:55.400 Yeah.

00:21:55.780 You had spots at night, go to the gym, probably just try to take care of yourself.

00:21:58.820 Like, you know, stay like, you know, I liked going to the gym at the time.

00:22:03.220 So do that.

00:22:04.460 I mean, I started doing like this, like crank texting thing and some weird stuff, like making

00:22:08.340 some websites.

00:22:09.520 Oh, oh, oh.

00:22:10.340 Yeah.

00:22:10.500 Like trying to look for some other comedy.

00:22:12.200 Yeah.

00:22:12.440 Finding something on the internet that could like be like another like force for me or like

00:22:16.160 another thing that I could do.

00:22:18.240 Who were like the big dogs in LA when, when you were.

00:22:21.080 Oh, Nick Thune.

00:22:22.200 Owen Benjamin.

00:22:23.460 Yeah.

00:22:23.720 Jane Cook was like the biggest guy right when I got there.

00:22:28.820 I never saw him much, but sometimes he would come by some of the rooms.

00:22:33.020 Who else?

00:22:35.020 Oh, Steve Byrne, Adam Hunter.

00:22:37.720 Those were like the guys that were like real popular at the rooms that I went to.

00:22:42.260 And every now and then like a, somebody magical would come through, like a Jim Norton would

00:22:47.140 come through or like Chelsea Handler, I think came in one time, but those were in the clubs.

00:22:52.500 Those were just like in the like tertiary rooms, you know, some of those guys, I guess,

00:22:56.260 and girls that started getting into clubs.

00:22:58.240 So what have you been up to in your time off, your break?

00:23:00.660 You're taking a couple months off now.

00:23:02.240 Yeah.

00:23:02.480 I mean, off a stand up.

00:23:03.640 Right, right, right.

00:23:04.200 We're still doing a ton of podcasting.

00:23:05.600 Isn't that funny?

00:23:05.700 In my head, I go like, oh, I have a week off, but that just means from touring.

00:23:08.920 Right.

00:23:09.160 Like a week off, now I'm just doing the same shit, but at home.

00:23:11.120 Yeah.

00:23:11.740 Oh, it's nice having a break from travel.

00:23:14.800 From travel.

00:23:15.460 Yeah.

00:23:15.620 From that kind of thing.

00:23:17.080 I mean, I got to go to a lot of football games.

00:23:18.940 That was fun.

00:23:19.500 I've been able to do that.

00:23:20.620 Like, I mean, I've probably done 26 weeks a year for probably 15 years.

00:23:25.840 Yeah.

00:23:26.020 So it's like, you know, it's hard to kind of plan it, but it's hard to go out of town

00:23:29.580 whenever you just went and were out of town, even for work.

00:23:32.000 So that was fun getting to go to a lot of SEC football games.

00:23:35.260 That was great.

00:23:36.080 I got to redo my comedy special.

00:23:37.720 So we're going to retape that at some point.

00:23:39.440 Oh, nice.

00:23:39.660 Have you noticed that yet?

00:23:40.800 Nope.

00:23:41.440 Breaking news.

00:23:42.400 I haven't heard it here live.

00:23:43.660 Do you know where you're shooting it yet?

00:23:45.220 I don't yet.

00:23:45.960 We're going to start.

00:23:46.520 I got to start figuring that out.

00:23:47.800 So I just wanted to wait till I felt like kind of excited about just kind of getting

00:23:53.160 back on stage.

00:23:54.020 And I'm just like, I just wanted to have some like space, like just the tour.

00:23:56.800 It was just a lot.

00:23:57.500 Last year was just a long year.

00:23:59.200 Totally.

00:23:59.960 Totally.

00:24:01.260 But it was great.

00:24:02.040 I mean, you know, it was good and it was just a lot.

00:24:04.320 You're just learning and life's changing.

00:24:05.960 And you're like, man, this is like.

00:24:07.340 Just take a second to like pause and like, what's the real priority here?

00:24:10.300 Yeah.

00:24:10.820 And you had to get security for some stuff.

00:24:12.600 You know, you started realizing you're kind of freaking out when you're by yourself a little

00:24:15.500 bit, like things like that.

00:24:17.340 I mean, like.

00:24:18.200 And that makes it kind of spooky, you know?

00:24:20.280 So I think if you took a, what a sample size of like one in seven Americans, I would

00:24:26.240 say six of them know you.

00:24:29.600 Oh, no.

00:24:30.280 But like seven people, just any like Santa Fe, New Mexico, you know, Dayton, Ohio.

00:24:37.620 I mean, those two definitely, but like, if you like.

00:24:39.880 A couple twinks maybe, you know?

00:24:41.620 Yeah.

00:24:41.980 But like, I think you're just so, you're just so known that there's sometimes that you don't

00:24:46.980 when you just show, you're just so you though, that it like, I don't know if you see it.

00:24:51.940 I mean, obviously you see it, but like how the world sees you, that's something that

00:24:55.740 is always an interesting thing is like, you don't know how the world sees you because

00:24:58.740 you only see the world, but like, you're so well known that you just show up like solo.

00:25:03.340 And I'm like, this motherfucker just interviewed the Ukrainian missile crisis and now he's

00:25:09.660 just at the comedy store walking up by himself.

00:25:12.520 Like, but you want to feel like just your own space in the world, you know?

00:25:16.640 And so I think that was like kind of a conflict a lot for me last year.

00:25:20.560 And like, just knowing that, okay, well, sometimes you just need to have somebody with you.

00:25:24.140 And then I started really just feeling kind of paranoid when I was by myself.

00:25:28.380 But some of it was just people filming you, just people doing stuff that started to make

00:25:31.580 you kind of crazy.

00:25:32.260 Like you'll just go to eat or you'll go to do something simple and it'd be like little

00:25:35.680 things and it's okay.

00:25:36.800 I'm not complaining about it.

00:25:38.000 I'm just saying there's some adjustment to it and there's some psychological adjustment

00:25:41.880 to it as well.

00:25:43.140 And then I think like, yeah, things got scary last year when they shot Charlie Kirk.

00:25:48.240 That probably scared everybody who even gets on a stage, I think was probably scared.

00:25:52.260 You know, dude, I was at the comedy store.

00:25:53.500 I have a clip of this.

00:25:54.120 I might post it.

00:25:54.740 I'll show it to you, see if it's good or not.

00:25:55.960 But a balloon popped on New Year's.

00:25:57.840 I was at the store and my first words, I thought I just got Kirk'd and it got a big pop.

00:26:03.880 But it's one of those things.

00:26:04.740 It's like, do I post it?

00:26:05.940 And then the internet's like, oh, well, now here we go with it.

00:26:09.020 Yeah, now with it.

00:26:09.600 And I'm like, no, I think it's fine, bro.

00:26:11.600 Oh, okay.

00:26:12.140 I think it's like, I mean.

00:26:13.700 But then I talk about Erica and her eyesight and like that, that's when it goes like a

00:26:17.380 little like.

00:26:18.600 I think you have to joke about it.

00:26:20.200 Like I start thinking of things to talk about, about stuff like that.

00:26:23.040 I mean, it's just, but yeah, I think all that made people kind of spooked.

00:26:26.140 It was like, what's going on?

00:26:27.940 And then it doesn't seem like the investigation, like what's really happening here?

00:26:31.320 And there's like, they show the kid at a Dairy Queen or something.

00:26:33.760 It's like, he's wearing different stuff.

00:26:35.840 The biggest thing is like, I think this might've been put on by Dairy Queen.

00:26:40.140 There's no way that they didn't put a bid in to some bigger picture to be like, listen,

00:26:46.040 blizzards aren't doing the numbers they used to do.

00:26:47.940 So like, but, but think about that.

00:26:49.780 Any, okay.

00:26:50.540 Now I'm getting real conspiracy in here, but any fast food place he goes to, their sales

00:26:55.300 are going to go up.

00:26:56.180 People watch this and we're like, yo, I low-key want a blizzard right now.

00:26:58.900 Yeah, for sure.

00:27:00.320 If fucking Jack in the Box did this shit and he ate two tacos, bro, that's it.

00:27:05.800 Well, dude, I'm fucking sick of this planet.

00:27:08.280 Get me off this bitch.

00:27:09.900 Dude, if Baskin Robbins did this, they would have 32 flavors.

00:27:13.220 Oh, they'd have, oh, I'd bring the Choco Taco back to Taco Bell.

00:27:16.820 I'd make a new flavor for him in the back, homie.

00:27:19.200 That's what I want, dude.

00:27:20.600 That's what that Twink fucking-

00:27:22.060 Dude, if that would have happened at a Ben and Jerry's, they would have had it.

00:27:24.380 Oh, Twink?

00:27:24.560 They would have had that flavor quick.

00:27:25.820 Dude, how do they not have-

00:27:26.860 Twink Shooter?

00:27:28.140 Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star?

00:27:30.180 How do they not have Twink Shooter, Ben and Jerry's ice cream flavor?

00:27:35.240 Dude, that's the thing.

00:27:36.280 Some of these, some of these food companies have got to start to come out with foods that people

00:27:40.600 can relate to.

00:27:41.580 It's like, how do they not have that, the rooftop Gunner's McNugget or something, you

00:27:48.000 know, like, or like, and it's like a little guy.

00:27:51.000 Yeah.

00:27:51.660 Maybe they serve them on a roof.

00:27:53.020 Like, you open up the thing and there's a little roof in there and they're all placed

00:27:56.480 on there and one of them has a little pistol or something.

00:27:58.540 Dude, can we pull up a Happy Meal?

00:27:59.980 Is that crazy, you think?

00:28:01.060 Oh, it's insane.

00:28:01.760 But can we pull up a McDonald's Happy Meal?

00:28:03.660 It has kind of a roof in it.

00:28:05.600 That's what I'm talking about.

00:28:07.120 You know what I mean?

00:28:07.840 And they put a toy, bro, in Pizza Hut, you don't even want to see a Pizza Hut with the

00:28:13.180 old, with the old motherfucking sombrero on it.

00:28:15.200 Yes, bro.

00:28:15.900 Put a sniper on there.

00:28:17.300 And when Papa John's said that word, they should have done a different specialty.

00:28:21.260 And Papa John's, you should, when you open one of the boxes every day, this is how they

00:28:26.200 do it.

00:28:26.740 One magical box.

00:28:27.980 It has one of those voice things in it that when you open it, it says the N word.

00:28:33.000 And if you get that pizza, you get it free.

00:28:36.520 Isn't that interesting?

00:28:37.680 No reward, it's so fucked up.

00:28:39.300 It's so bad.

00:28:40.380 But then you get a reward, you're like, this is low-key Willy Wonka.

00:28:42.680 Yeah.

00:28:43.500 All people want is a little bit of something extra.

00:28:45.920 They want a little bit of prize, you know?

00:28:49.000 I'm, you know, the Epstein files are out, but I'm excited for the Wonka files.

00:28:52.140 Oh.

00:28:52.480 I think some weird shit was going down at Willy Wonka.

00:28:54.500 With Galoris Glunt or whatever that kid's name was.

00:28:57.260 Trying to bitches into blueberries.

00:28:58.540 It's literally all children and little people running around.

00:29:00.900 Like, I feel like we're getting into some weird files that are going to drop soon.

00:29:04.220 And the Wonka, the Wonka tapes.

00:29:05.640 What?

00:29:06.260 The Wonka tapes.

00:29:08.440 Trevor Wonka?

00:29:10.220 It's full knowledge now that PrizePix is America's number one sports picks app.

00:29:16.880 It's undeniable.

00:29:18.600 The app is really easy to use.

00:29:20.800 And it's got everything.

00:29:22.140 Player picks, team picks, and culture picks.

00:29:26.260 That's right.

00:29:26.940 On top of picking player lineups, you can now pick teams on PrizePix.

00:29:31.920 Pick the winner, total, and spread on every game through the playoffs.

00:29:36.940 Team picks are now available in 30 states, including California, Texas, and Florida.

00:29:43.640 Sunny Florida.

00:29:45.160 And culture picks covers everything else.

00:29:48.300 Make picks on the price of crypto, entertainment awards, and even politics.

00:29:52.840 What I love about the players' picks is you just get to pick more or less on a player.

00:29:57.500 It makes it really simple.

00:29:59.220 And right here are my picks for this weekend's games.

00:30:02.220 A tale at your own discretion.

00:30:03.940 I don't have a great strategy, I don't think.

00:30:07.560 I'm just sort of vibing.

00:30:10.140 You know the drill.

00:30:12.060 PrizePix.

00:30:12.580 It's good to be right.

00:30:14.040 Play responsibly.

00:30:15.300 PrizePix offers DFS and free-to-play.

00:30:16.900 $50 provided is PrizePix DFS lineups.

00:30:18.900 Must spend $5 of real money on PrizePix before receiving bonus lineups.

00:30:21.560 PrizePix Predict is a registered FCM offering, team picks, and culture picks as event contracts.

00:30:26.400 Both involve significant risk, not for all.

00:30:28.380 Must be 18 and over.

00:30:29.480 And for event contracts via U.S. resident, restrictions apply.

00:30:31.860 Void where prohibited.

00:30:33.380 Use responsibly for help.

00:30:34.100 Call 1-800-426-2537 or visit www.ncpgambling.org.

00:30:39.300 Anywhere worth going is worth going in good boots.

00:30:43.580 You can find your perfect pair like I did with Takovas.

00:30:47.660 I like showing up in my Takovas.

00:30:49.760 I like just stepping out into the world, boot first.

00:30:53.940 People see me coming and they look at my feet and they know, hey, he's doing well.

00:30:59.980 If you're thinking about boots, Takovas has got your back and your feet.

00:31:05.440 With premium, genuine leathers and superior construction techniques,

00:31:10.320 every pair is handcrafted in over 200 steps.

00:31:15.680 From cowhide and goat to exotic leathers like ostrich and caiman.

00:31:21.180 Whether it's your first pair or your 50th, Takovas has you covered.

00:31:26.160 With over 50 Takovas stores coast to coast, there's bound to be a store near you.

00:31:32.580 Right now, get 10% off at Takovas.com slash Theo when you sign up for email and texts.

00:31:41.380 That's 10% off at T-E-C-O-V-A-S dot com slash T-H-E-O.

00:31:47.660 Takovas.com slash Theo.

00:31:50.280 See site for details.

00:31:51.620 Takovas.

00:31:52.540 Point your toes west.

00:31:55.240 Was there any, um, will you look that up?

00:31:57.340 Was there any sexual accusations or allegations during Willy Wonka?

00:32:01.960 Let's look that up.

00:32:03.020 But do the OG one, not the Timothee Chalamet one.

00:32:05.560 I'm just wondering, uh, invest in any sexual accusations during the taping of any Willy Wonka film.

00:32:12.160 Um, child labor laws.

00:32:14.160 Yeah, for sure.

00:32:16.400 They're throwing bitches in a fondue pot.

00:32:19.140 Mention rejecting Michael Jackson for Wonka due to prior guys.

00:32:21.760 Oh, Michael Jackson was going to be in Wonka?

00:32:25.620 Charlie and Chocolate Factory.

00:32:27.340 All right.

00:32:29.040 That was the worst joke I've ever said.

00:32:30.200 We'll take it out.

00:32:32.420 Um, but dude, I guess like, yeah, going back to it, what do you think?

00:32:37.120 Do you think there should be an age law for sex work?

00:32:39.580 Yeah.

00:32:40.860 Um, I, I do think 25 kind of makes sense.

00:32:44.920 You like, like I think about what I was doing from 18 to 22.

00:32:50.080 I mean, I was just in college.

00:32:51.080 I was making the worst decisions of my entire life.

00:32:54.320 Like at one point I smoked weed out of a light bulb.

00:32:56.460 Like literally the base of a light bulb.

00:32:59.140 And like that same guy could have been like, fuck it.

00:33:01.380 Here's my dick.

00:33:02.580 Right.

00:33:03.000 Cause that has tungsten in it too.

00:33:04.220 It could be real dangerous.

00:33:05.020 It's probably inhaling tungsten.

00:33:06.480 Yeah.

00:33:06.780 I mean, might as well just smoke meth at that point, but I broke a light bulb and use the

00:33:09.980 bottom of it as a bowl for weed.

00:33:11.920 So, um, that's, I mean, I didn't even use the glass.

00:33:15.940 That's crack neighbor behavior, dude.

00:33:17.460 Yeah, it is.

00:33:18.080 That's crack neighbor behavior.

00:33:19.120 Yeah.

00:33:19.320 That's parallel of crack right there.

00:33:21.600 That's meth adjacent, bro.

00:33:23.520 Meth adjacent sounds like a great podcast that could come out.

00:33:26.940 Meth adjacent.

00:33:27.920 Holy shit.

00:33:28.720 Oh, what about Freddie versus meth adjacent, dude?

00:33:31.020 Ooh, I like that.

00:33:31.860 Um, but, um, or what if the, um, I'm trying to think if like, cause yeah, if you had to

00:33:37.120 be 25 to do that and you had to be 18 to be in the army, but what if they came out with

00:33:40.480 like an army fans, dude?

00:33:41.660 That's the thing.

00:33:42.200 Like I start to see like weird business mergers happening.

00:33:45.440 Like we've had like long John Silvers and Baskin Robbins.

00:33:48.780 Didn't they merger?

00:33:51.460 No.

00:33:52.360 Who murdered?

00:33:53.720 Pizza Hut and, um, and long John Silvers.

00:33:56.520 It's always the, the bitches that can't pull their own on their own.

00:33:59.080 You know what I mean?

00:33:59.860 But first of all, long John Silvers, shut it down.

00:34:03.060 Yeah.

00:34:03.380 I mean that, I mean, investigate their taxes.

00:34:05.820 That's a drug fraud.

00:34:06.980 You thought shit was going on weird in Minnesota with the Somalis.

00:34:10.180 Let's investigate long John Silvers.

00:34:12.300 Bro, there's no catch of the day out in fucking Midland, Texas.

00:34:16.120 The catch of the day is the felon that was working behind the fry counter.

00:34:20.880 That's the catch is when he leaves and the ankle monitor goes off.

00:34:23.720 Type in long John Silvers CEO, if you don't mind.

00:34:25.980 Oh, long John Silvers right here.

00:34:27.140 Um, under companies like you, yum brands.

00:34:30.080 That's what they're called now creating combined locations with KFC, Pizza Hut or Taco Bell.

00:34:34.380 Yeah.

00:34:34.780 That's a, I just don't like that dude.

00:34:36.480 Cause I don't like somebody, you know, they're cooking fish on one, on the grill and they're

00:34:39.640 also cooking a burger.

00:34:41.160 Taco Bell does it with a bunch.

00:34:42.820 It might be Taco Bell and Pizza Hut.

00:34:44.300 You'll see those like randomly.

00:34:45.380 Yeah.

00:34:45.540 And then they stuff them in a gas station and it's fucking, it's not the same.

00:34:50.600 None of that shit's the same, but dude, I could see an army fans, dude.

00:34:53.900 Can you see the army fans?

00:34:55.140 I could definitely see it.

00:34:56.060 Who are they like taking down?

00:34:57.680 Like they're not fighting anybody.

00:34:59.040 It's just military people to show in their junk.

00:35:01.400 Oh, to make an extra buck.

00:35:03.280 I feel like are probably to fund our military.

00:35:04.960 I feel like I could just see that.

00:35:08.080 I think it's a good idea to fund the military.

00:35:10.340 Yeah.

00:35:10.700 Hold on.

00:35:12.500 Why don't we do it?

00:35:13.420 All these guys are jacked.

00:35:14.360 They work out 24 seven.

00:35:15.720 They might have like a little bit of like dirt or dust on their face from being at combat.

00:35:19.900 There's so many like lonely women in, in the Midwest.

00:35:23.060 Well, globally who are like, that's hot.

00:35:25.120 Yeah.

00:35:25.380 And the chance they could do like, uh, I don't know what, uh, I'm trying to think what

00:35:30.180 their chance.

00:35:30.620 I've been told, but this, but for six more dollars, you can see this whole, yeah.

00:35:37.080 Something like that.

00:35:37.900 Like this bussy's getting sold.

00:35:41.320 That's what we need, dude.

00:35:42.160 It's like left, right, left, right.

00:35:44.260 But it's just somebody showing their different tits.

00:35:46.320 Yes.

00:35:47.380 It's somebody.

00:35:47.780 That is a great way to fund the military.

00:35:50.380 I, I, I think cause everything's going bankrupt.

00:35:53.740 So you're going to have to find ways to fund things.

00:35:55.380 This is what I've been hearing is like, yeah, everywhere is bankrupt, which blows my mind.

00:35:59.180 Cause it was like, it's what, what's like, what we're not getting enough money and it's

00:36:04.520 neither the businesses.

00:36:06.020 So who, I know I can't even think about it.

00:36:08.980 It hurts my head.

00:36:09.680 It's getting weird, dude.

00:36:10.820 Yeah.

00:36:11.220 I mean, everything's getting weird, bro.

00:36:13.000 The current CEO of long down servers is Nate Fowler who took over in February, 2025, succeeding

00:36:17.820 Blaine Shortread, who had served as CEO since early 2021.

00:36:21.540 Can I see a photo of this guy?

00:36:22.580 Yeah.

00:36:24.180 That's Nate Fowler.

00:36:25.100 He's a baller.

00:36:25.880 Oh, he hoops.

00:36:26.400 Oh, he looks like a nice guy.

00:36:31.640 He, he looks like a nice guy.

00:36:33.120 He also looks like he's never had long John Silver's in his entire life.

00:36:36.140 He's like, what are we serving here?

00:36:37.540 Oh, hell no.

00:36:39.400 Hell no.

00:36:40.820 Well, dude, they have that carp or whatever.

00:36:42.680 I'm like, I'm not fucking parking and getting out of my car.

00:36:47.100 Parked to carp.

00:36:47.860 Yeah.

00:36:48.340 I don't know.

00:36:48.980 There's something about, I'm not getting carp through a drive-thru.

00:36:52.120 I'm just not, I'm not going in there to get any carp.

00:36:55.860 Drive-thru is the, I think the downfall of America.

00:36:58.280 I saw a Skyline Chili in Ohio with a drive-thru.

00:37:00.860 I said, if you're getting chili on the road, you might as well start drinking.

00:37:04.240 You, you, you have a better chance to survive getting a DUI than eating hot SpaghettiOs in

00:37:09.800 the back of a tundra.

00:37:11.400 And we start to, sometimes we think like, oh, we're Americans.

00:37:14.660 We deserve so much.

00:37:15.340 But then when you look at what we, what we are willing to accept just on a daily day

00:37:20.000 level for ourselves.

00:37:20.960 And I know some people, they can't afford certain things and I get that.

00:37:24.420 But when you're willing to just pull up with your kids and just sit there and eat chili

00:37:29.060 in the car and just, just do gas on each other and do body gas on each other.

00:37:33.940 What are you doing?

00:37:34.960 It's just come to a point.

00:37:36.220 Just cause you're a Bengals fan or whatever.

00:37:38.480 You know what I'm saying?

00:37:39.000 What are we doing?

00:37:40.060 Fucking Joe Burrow playing like shit is here.

00:37:43.300 Hey, sack this.

00:37:44.400 Shit.

00:37:45.340 Yeah.

00:37:47.300 It's so funny how Americanized my brain.

00:37:49.660 Obviously I grew up here.

00:37:50.520 Catch this T Higgins and your dad just farts again.

00:37:52.820 You're like, come on dad.

00:37:53.760 It's probably how it all starts.

00:37:55.260 That's the warmup in the locker room.

00:37:57.140 But it's so like this format is so normal to me that if I see a place that doesn't have

00:38:02.200 a drive-thru, I'll be like, oh, let me look.

00:38:04.180 Like if I'm going to Starbucks, I'm like, oh, this Starbucks doesn't have a drive-thru.

00:38:06.460 Let me find a drive-thru Starbucks.

00:38:07.860 Yeah.

00:38:08.440 That's a good point.

00:38:09.240 All you gotta do is add a road and you up your sales.

00:38:12.020 Oh, dude, a Starbucks on some places would be so good.

00:38:14.680 But on a nice steakhouse.

00:38:15.880 But you could wait like 40 minutes in line once you put your order at the sign if it's

00:38:19.420 like a busy place.

00:38:20.380 Oh, yeah.

00:38:22.480 Yeah.

00:38:22.860 The McRib.

00:38:23.480 They just said this.

00:38:24.540 Black folks are going to be pissed.

00:38:25.760 What's inside of McRib?

00:38:26.740 McDonald's hit with class action lawsuit claiming the sandwich doesn't contain rib meat.

00:38:32.180 Ooh.

00:38:33.840 Well, TBD on that, brother.

00:38:37.700 I'm going to leave that up to my more chocolatey associates in the world because that's out of

00:38:44.300 my jurisdiction, brother.

00:38:45.520 According to the complaint, the McRib is actually made from restructured pork, which combines

00:38:49.700 cut such as shoulder, heart, tripe, and scalded stomach, none of which qualify as rib meat.

00:38:55.460 That's fair.

00:38:56.120 At least it's from a pig.

00:38:57.680 I thought for sure that they were just like painting some cow a different color.

00:39:01.620 But to just do that, to lie to a culture for so long saying it's rib, I knew it wasn't

00:39:06.100 rib.

00:39:06.360 One of my friends lives and dies by this thing, my buddy Scotty.

00:39:09.100 I'm like, he's always sending me pictures of him getting the McRib whenever it's back

00:39:12.120 or whatever.

00:39:12.420 I'm like, where did it go?

00:39:13.400 It didn't fucking.

00:39:14.120 Yeah.

00:39:14.440 What did they do?

00:39:15.800 And they used to like, I mean, Burt always used to talk about that.

00:39:19.660 Burt Kreish would always talk about how like crime would go up when the McRib was gone

00:39:24.860 or whatever.

00:39:25.500 I think it did.

00:39:26.280 Yeah.

00:39:26.600 I think this is like a real Americans like a groundhog day.

00:39:30.780 Yeah.

00:39:31.360 I feel like the McRib is back.

00:39:32.520 Fine, honey, you're getting a ring this year.

00:39:34.640 Why don't more people bet on prize picks with fucking the McRib?

00:39:39.680 Is it coming back in January?

00:39:42.680 Yeah.

00:39:43.080 I don't know.

00:39:43.600 I mean, what blows my mind about fast food, and I feel like I've talked about it on this

00:39:47.080 podcast before.

00:39:47.760 I don't know why, but what fucks me up is, you know, the grill marks on chicken, not real

00:39:52.960 grill.

00:39:53.560 It's just a little, it's tattooed on.

00:39:55.020 What do you mean on chicken?

00:39:56.040 You mean on just regular chicken you buy?

00:39:57.600 Not, not at like at a, if you get a grilled chicken from McDonald's, not breaded, but grilled,

00:40:02.120 they have like grill marks on it.

00:40:03.540 That's fake.

00:40:04.220 That's, it's like literally, it's like a henna tattoo.

00:40:06.540 Grill marks on, it's like a henna tattoo.

00:40:09.060 Yeah.

00:40:09.280 Grill marks on fast food chicken are often fake, created by industrial branding machines.

00:40:13.100 Yeah.

00:40:13.560 Oh God.

00:40:14.760 So they do that for the illusion that you're like, this was on a grill.

00:40:17.680 Oh yeah.

00:40:18.800 But I'm a suck.

00:40:19.560 I mean, like if I see, I'm not questioning it.

00:40:22.580 Well, this scene, they, but I don't think it's that.

00:40:25.420 They're not doing that.

00:40:26.300 That's some guy.

00:40:26.960 That's more work.

00:40:28.040 That's Nicholas Tesla making a chicken.

00:40:30.500 But if you, if type in like a McDonald's, no, I think it says it right there.

00:40:37.060 It's obvious, man.

00:40:38.080 But I'm sure there's a video where you like erase it.

00:40:40.120 Like I'm pretty sure.

00:40:41.120 Have you ever wondered how frozen food companies get grill marks on chicken that clearly wasn't

00:40:45.900 cooked on a grill because it came out of a factory?

00:40:48.600 Well, this is how they do it.

00:40:51.820 There are wheels that are very hot that roll directly over the chicken and leave them continuously

00:41:01.100 branded with grill marks.

00:41:03.460 Now for six more dollars, she would show you a breast or something at the end of that.

00:41:07.520 Goes to the military.

00:41:08.560 Welcome to the military.

00:41:09.380 Welcome to the air force, dude.

00:41:11.060 I mean, that's where the hotties are too in the military is in the air force, bro.

00:41:14.220 What?

00:41:14.780 The hotties are in there?

00:41:15.740 Yeah.

00:41:16.180 Really?

00:41:17.260 Are, are people in the military allowed to have an only fans?

00:41:21.460 Cause I could see a merger that I could just see like everything's so weird now.

00:41:25.280 I could easily see a merger there.

00:41:26.860 Well, everybody's doing collabs.

00:41:28.120 Like if long John Silver's in Dairy Queen, I'm going to do something.

00:41:31.060 You'd think the military would at least take on one of these websites.

00:41:34.400 And this is a perplexity.

00:41:35.680 Thank you.

00:41:36.340 No members of the U S military are not allowed to operate only fans accounts, particularly those

00:41:40.360 involving adult content due to strict regulations on outside employment and conduct.

00:41:44.140 These activities often violate ethics rules requiring prior approval.

00:41:47.900 Now I, if you are losing your life or risking your life for our country, I don't know if I

00:41:53.880 believe that that's fair.

00:41:55.800 Yeah.

00:41:56.240 Get the pop a little P or something.

00:41:57.560 I'll tell you what, if I was in jail, the first thing I'm doing is buying one of those

00:42:01.060 phones out of another dude's ass, which might be the worst convenience store ever.

00:42:05.380 I'm buying a phone out of it.

00:42:06.280 Well, here's the thing you put your money in his hand and whatever comes out of his ass is

00:42:08.960 yours.

00:42:10.960 I think that's usually how that was kind of like, it is very true.

00:42:13.360 Isn't that funny?

00:42:14.400 And it's usually the first thing out because you kind of have to give a, like, you don't

00:42:17.560 usually have a ton of money.

00:42:18.780 You're like, he's got one item in there.

00:42:21.020 If he's got two, then that boy is into a different place.

00:42:24.340 I think you can tickle each guy to kind of see if you can guess.

00:42:26.980 Holy shit.

00:42:27.540 That's how you rob a human vending machine.

00:42:30.100 Yeah.

00:42:30.720 They got an Android.

00:42:31.340 But I think the first thing I would do if I was in jail, because I don't know how they

00:42:34.260 get internet or wifi, but like I'll see like live TikToks in jail somehow, sometimes.

00:42:38.260 Yeah.

00:42:38.440 Drewski has all those guys doing that.

00:42:40.040 He's always looped in with like a lot of like, it looks kind of like boys to men, sort

00:42:45.520 of like, it looks like a acapella group that went to jail.

00:42:48.340 Right.

00:42:48.620 You know, and they're all wearing shisees and shit and they're all in there.

00:42:51.300 You don't need the shisees.

00:42:52.200 You're already in jail.

00:42:54.600 Um, but I think I would immediately try to start an OF account.

00:42:58.420 I would be like, I'm already in jail.

00:43:00.580 Like I would just J-O.

00:43:02.540 I would just beat my shit every night in my cell.

00:43:06.560 Oh, I don't know.

00:43:07.360 I think you get tired of that.

00:43:08.180 You want to start reading, dude.

00:43:09.140 Trust me.

00:43:09.480 Let me just tell you, after a couple of nights, you're going to want to.

00:43:11.940 If I was in jail.

00:43:12.680 You're going to want to tap into a good book.

00:43:13.620 But just if I wanted to raise enough money to pay for my bail.

00:43:16.960 Oh, for sure.

00:43:18.660 If I'm in jail and I want to get out.

00:43:20.000 Yeah.

00:43:20.180 No, no, no.

00:43:20.500 I hear you.

00:43:21.000 I think that's always the answer.

00:43:22.680 But if I'm in jail and I'm trying to meet my bail and I need like 50K, I don't know what

00:43:27.940 the crime would be.

00:43:29.500 Type shit.

00:43:30.440 Yeah.

00:43:30.800 I'm showing meat to get some bread.

00:43:32.960 And are you jerking off semi-regular or what?

00:43:35.700 Not really.

00:43:36.860 Wow.

00:43:37.820 Have you jerked off this year?

00:43:41.120 Uh, I thought you were going to say today.

00:43:44.560 No way, dude.

00:43:45.140 I'm not a gay, dude.

00:43:46.960 Have you jerked off this year?

00:43:48.640 Uh, yeah.

00:43:49.820 But it's only when I'm like, uh, in hotels.

00:43:51.720 This is the first time I've been in hotels.

00:43:53.220 Yeah.

00:43:53.380 Well, there hasn't been that much of this year.

00:43:54.820 I'm just saying.

00:43:55.900 So you're still jerking.

00:43:56.740 How many days in are we?

00:43:57.260 Huh?

00:43:58.360 Not enough for you to win this argument.

00:44:00.260 If I'm, I'm like a one a week guy, you know, I'm, I'm, I'm, I want to be a trash can.

00:44:04.880 I got to take the load out to the front yard every once in a while.

00:44:07.360 Well, here's the thing, dude.

00:44:08.760 I'll sometimes jerk off so I don't go do something else that's going to get me in trouble.

00:44:12.600 Yeah.

00:44:13.540 That's what I'll do.

00:44:14.160 It's like, if I'm feeling like, man, I want to go out and meet up with like some, go to

00:44:17.820 a bar, meet up with some people or do something that, you know, it could be more risky for

00:44:21.340 me.

00:44:21.780 Sometimes I'll jerk off.

00:44:22.840 So I don't go do that because it'll be like, oh, you ain't doing shit.

00:44:26.240 Whitey.

00:44:26.600 After I jerk off, that's kind of the voice that's in my head.

00:44:28.760 You ain't doing shit.

00:44:29.660 You little wigger.

00:44:31.740 What's funny.

00:44:32.280 I had the same thought one time on a tour.

00:44:34.220 I was single, but I've never been a guy who's wanted to be like, if somebody DMs me after

00:44:39.320 a show, I'm like, what's up?

00:44:41.180 You know, like, yeah.

00:44:42.140 Yeah.

00:44:42.460 I stay away from that.

00:44:43.040 You don't want some of that.

00:44:43.620 I mean, I'll engage sometimes, but I'm not, I'm never like, Hey, send me that.

00:44:47.280 Yeah.

00:44:47.540 No, that's crazy.

00:44:48.420 Send me a drawing of that cooter or whatever, you know?

00:44:50.840 Yeah.

00:44:51.160 Draw it on an IG story.

00:44:52.580 Make it a boomerang.

00:44:53.720 Make that shit breathe for me.

00:44:55.720 But I'm like, you're out there, bro.

00:44:59.500 I'm never that guy.

00:45:00.420 I don't even say that in real life.

00:45:01.900 Like, but you know, the lingo dog, you're in there.

00:45:04.500 Let it breathe.

00:45:05.100 Yeah.

00:45:05.580 I've been, I've been watching, I've been watching Drewski videos, but I remember this exact moment.

00:45:10.000 It was in like, I want to say Atlanta.

00:45:12.020 This was like a, a year or two ago, but this, this girl DM was like trying to meet up and

00:45:16.560 I'm like, I don't really do this, but she was really attractive.

00:45:19.220 And she had them bangers and front acorns on her.

00:45:21.280 I don't know.

00:45:21.740 She's private.

00:45:22.220 She had that yard work on.

00:45:23.500 Yeah.

00:45:23.900 Yeah.

00:45:24.180 Yeah.

00:45:24.420 Yeah.

00:45:24.620 She could have been a dude for all I know, but.

00:45:26.580 Shorty had that yard work on her, huh?

00:45:28.580 Front.

00:45:28.900 Yeah.

00:45:29.080 She had that reverse mullet, all top heavy, nothing in the back.

00:45:32.380 Yeah.

00:45:32.940 But I remember I was like, no, Trevor, don't do that.

00:45:35.220 But cause there was a few messages back and forth.

00:45:36.520 And then I went to the bathroom, beat my shit.

00:45:38.860 And then I was like, all right, we're good.

00:45:40.140 Yeah.

00:45:40.440 About an hour goes by and I fill back up testosterone.

00:45:44.160 I go, fuck it.

00:45:44.860 What are you doing?

00:45:45.680 Nuh-uh.

00:45:46.840 And yeah.

00:45:47.560 Did she come over?

00:45:48.260 No.

00:45:48.960 It was too late.

00:45:50.080 Yeah.

00:45:50.560 But like getting the seat out only buys you about an hour of time.

00:45:55.940 So, so I was like, you know what?

00:45:58.500 You don't need this.

00:45:59.600 Go jerk your shit and you have the rest of your night and go to sleep.

00:46:03.040 Oh, for sure.

00:46:03.620 But then I was up for another hour.

00:46:04.720 All of a sudden, back to the brim.

00:46:08.060 Well, I would, you gotta, you gotta employ other forces, bro.

00:46:11.580 A lot of times I would jerk off.

00:46:13.020 And then if I had to go eat, like, um, I would go eat like a bag of bread or something

00:46:16.880 or like half a bag of bread just because I'm not going to go.

00:46:19.180 I feel like it's better to have sex than eat a bag of bread.

00:46:21.980 Well, for sure.

00:46:22.700 But I mean, also you're creating just like somebody's coming over.

00:46:25.940 You don't know what's going to go on, how late you got to be up.

00:46:28.200 But I would eat a bunch of bread or order a bunch of rolls up to my room and either

00:46:31.400 like six or seven rolls or some toasted or some toasted bread.

00:46:34.360 It's almost like you'd give yourself.

00:46:36.000 Just to be like, I'm not going to eat a ton of bread and then go have sex.

00:46:38.900 Oh, interesting.

00:46:39.680 It's almost like you give yourself post no regret without doing it.

00:46:42.500 Oh, I'd eat like two or three burger patties.

00:46:43.940 Just something that would like be like, oh, I'm so glutton.

00:46:46.300 Like, I'm not going to be all fat trying to have sex.

00:46:48.840 Chicken wings are a big one.

00:46:49.720 Or I'm just not going to be all like, I don't want to be having sex and hearing the food

00:46:53.400 like bang around as my stomach.

00:46:55.180 What's the funniest thing you've ever eaten before having a night with somebody you've

00:46:59.460 dated or a lady?

00:47:00.840 Do you ever have like a meal that comes to your mind?

00:47:04.280 No.

00:47:05.020 Really?

00:47:05.480 I don't think so, dude.

00:47:05.780 Like I remember one time I went to a-

00:47:07.020 I've had some probably good, like maybe small, like unique little cookies or something.

00:47:13.060 Maybe something nice like that.

00:47:14.060 Hold the upside.

00:47:14.420 But you never have one of those like, like I have a very specific memory.

00:47:17.700 I went to a, um, God, there's like three really good guitarists out right now.

00:47:21.620 What is his name?

00:47:22.800 He, he's like the big, he's probably been on the show.

00:47:25.180 Strings?

00:47:25.620 Billy Strings?

00:47:26.200 Billy Strings.

00:47:26.880 I was, I was out day drinking all day and I was eating hot dogs, day drinking with my

00:47:31.060 friends, which is, uh, the straightest thing you can do.

00:47:33.520 Then I went to a, met up with my dad, went to a Billy Strings concert.

00:47:36.540 Oh, he's playing next month at Bridgestone.

00:47:38.500 Wow.

00:47:39.400 Dude, he's iconic.

00:47:40.100 He's great.

00:47:40.460 He's so good live.

00:47:41.120 But I remember eating a bunch of hot dogs and chicken wings.

00:47:44.800 And then I went to Billy Strings with my dad.

00:47:47.140 I had an edible and I went back to my place before his girl came over and I shit so hard.

00:47:53.500 Like liquid.

00:47:55.300 And, and, and I was like, all right, I'm about to shower.

00:47:57.460 And then I get a text.

00:47:58.480 Hey, I'm here.

00:48:00.340 Not good.

00:48:01.140 I really had to wipe down.

00:48:02.500 I had to, uh, you know, the craziest.

00:48:05.200 I should have taken my ass to a car wash.

00:48:06.760 Yeah.

00:48:07.200 The craziest, sometimes you're almost amazed your ass can do all of that.

00:48:10.520 Yeah.

00:48:11.020 You're like, wow.

00:48:11.780 All right.

00:48:13.280 But that's growing up, man.

00:48:15.200 That really is.

00:48:15.920 Yeah.

00:48:16.160 I was just trying to think, like, I feel like, uh, but no, I've never had a crazy meal.

00:48:19.880 You never like have like chicken wings and then like indulged in some, some love making.

00:48:23.940 Oh, for sure.

00:48:24.880 Yeah.

00:48:24.980 But even that's a little, but nothing that stood out crazy.

00:48:27.580 I've never had like any, like, you know, like something from India or something that

00:48:31.660 came through the, through the mail.

00:48:33.540 And then I just like, Oh, let me finish off a quart and a half of this before I try and make

00:48:38.960 love.

00:48:39.300 Never had like clam chowder and then been in someone else's clam with some chowder.

00:48:42.820 Come on deal.

00:48:43.420 You know, I had like a crazy, bro.

00:48:45.540 I have a funny ass story about you.

00:48:47.220 Um, we did a, uh, a, a festival together and Cal, Oh yeah.

00:48:52.120 Where were we?

00:48:52.940 Somewhere in Canada.

00:48:54.300 And, uh, you, you were in your trailer, we're hanging out and, uh, it was me, you and a couple

00:48:58.900 of people.

00:49:00.020 And we're all in conversation in the middle of the conversation.

00:49:03.120 We're in your trailer.

00:49:04.260 You watch the bathroom, blow it up.

00:49:06.800 Did I blow it up?

00:49:08.240 You sure?

00:49:09.480 Buddy.

00:49:10.360 I mean, you can cut this if you want, but the, it was like in a, it was like in a, the,

00:49:14.160 the green room was a motorhome trailer and the doors were thin and we heard we, I mean,

00:49:19.480 it sounded like you were kickstarting an F three 50.

00:49:21.560 I mean, it was loud.

00:49:22.700 And then you walk right back out and you're like, all right, so what are we doing tonight?

00:49:27.100 Wow.

00:49:27.820 And I don't know.

00:49:28.220 You can cut that if you want, but no, I might have had a long flight or something or who

00:49:31.760 knows.

00:49:32.020 Sometimes you exchange rate on your, Oh yeah.

00:49:34.240 I mean, all the travel, all the travel is, the travel is just like your, it's like your

00:49:38.560 things are small and big and you don't even know you eat two like small things on a plane.

00:49:43.000 And when you land, they weigh more because of your gravity.

00:49:45.560 It was that one.

00:49:46.140 It was Vancouver, which Vancouver does have a lot of Indian food.

00:49:49.200 So maybe you got spiked with a little bit of Indy food for what happened, dude.

00:49:52.880 It was just, it was just a funny moment.

00:49:54.360 That's, that's life.

00:49:56.220 That's, that's all of us.

00:49:57.360 What are we all going to pretend like, dude, the fucking three of those people back there

00:50:00.700 guarantee one person back there blew a bathroom up this morning.

00:50:03.840 Yeah.

00:50:04.180 Well, people get some confirmation.

00:50:06.080 Guilty.

00:50:06.840 That's what the fuck I'm talking about.

00:50:08.260 People are shitting all the time.

00:50:09.620 That's the craziest thing.

00:50:10.460 I can't believe that there's not a report each day that tells you about it more.

00:50:14.900 Well, there's toilets now that can remember when you've gone to the bathroom and everything

00:50:18.200 like that.

00:50:18.460 There's a, there's that new cat thing that if your cat, you're, when your cat goes to

00:50:22.600 the bathroom, it'll let you know, it'll send you a thing at work or your cat is shit.

00:50:25.860 I, this is stupid.

00:50:27.260 I hate it.

00:50:27.740 It's called litter robots.

00:50:28.660 It's probably the worst app I've ever had.

00:50:30.200 My problem is these, everything has cats.

00:50:32.760 I've won, but he'd be shitting.

00:50:34.940 But the thing with these updates about it.

00:50:37.720 Oh dude, I get his, his, his bowel movements every day.

00:50:40.400 It's like when Spotify rap drops, I'm like, I don't care who Drake is.

00:50:43.580 Like, I don't care who your top artist is.

00:50:45.320 It's like, you want to know what we day of the week?

00:50:47.620 And my cat shit's the hardest.

00:50:48.940 It's Wednesday, brother.

00:50:51.100 It's, it's, it's, but the problem is everything.

00:50:53.380 Do cats shit every day?

00:50:55.420 I, I want to say so.

00:50:57.520 I think they're like, I don't know when they do.

00:51:00.760 Maybe like nighttime or something.

00:51:02.240 Um, but my problem with all these apps is like, they, uh, they, everything has an app now,

00:51:08.860 but, but they're not being made by good app, like web developers.

00:51:12.820 Yeah.

00:51:13.060 It's like, why do I got to have a, why do I have an undercase, uppercase, lowercase password

00:51:17.400 for my cat to shit?

00:51:18.560 I know.

00:51:19.720 Shit fires me up.

00:51:20.440 Well, I think it's hard because now with AI, like you could just set an AI thing to just

00:51:23.640 try and scramble to figure out somebody's password and it could just do it infinitely.

00:51:26.840 You know, that's why, that's why there's a lot of fear these days.

00:51:29.520 Um, but yeah, dude, some of that stuff, what was that thing you was just showing with that

00:51:33.680 cat?

00:51:34.520 The little robot.

00:51:35.240 Yeah.

00:51:35.360 It shows, I can pull it up right now.

00:51:37.360 Oh, I believe you, dude.

00:51:38.940 I'm sorry that you're having to go through all that.

00:51:40.860 It's just crazy that that's kind of where we are.

00:51:43.400 What's the newest thing you bought recently that, that fired you up?

00:51:48.360 Not much.

00:51:49.400 I haven't really bought anything.

00:51:50.820 I've been kind of looking for a house, but it's been like a slow look.

00:51:53.900 Same area.

00:51:55.160 Yeah.

00:51:55.300 Or like same like city.

00:51:56.700 Yeah.

00:51:57.320 I want to live in the same area, same city, but it's just been kind of tough.

00:52:00.100 There's been some that have come by, but it's just like, and then it's hard to go look.

00:52:03.200 Sometimes you get caught up with work and stuff like that, but it's been good.

00:52:05.860 What, what, uh, what do you, what, what, what kind of speech you want to do in your new

00:52:09.880 house?

00:52:10.760 I just want a little more space, a little bit more like property, kind of a little bit,

00:52:14.380 just a little bit more land, not even a ton, but just a little bit more.

00:52:17.180 Would you have a farm?

00:52:18.260 I wouldn't mind maybe getting a couple animals or something like if my, I know my mom would like

00:52:21.660 to have some animals, so maybe I could keep some if she wanted to come out and see

00:52:24.380 them sometimes.

00:52:25.120 That's cool.

00:52:25.440 I wouldn't, I mean, it would be nice to have some, a couple of horses and a dog.

00:52:28.820 A couple of editors out there.

00:52:29.960 Yeah.

00:52:30.660 A couple of editors in the barn.

00:52:32.560 A couple of roosters, donkeys.

00:52:33.600 Some guys cutting clips in the back.

00:52:35.900 Feeding him hay.

00:52:37.900 Feeding him prime energy.

00:52:39.120 With the animals, dude.

00:52:39.900 Dude, what did I just see?

00:52:40.920 Well, of, uh, what was that thing at Rogan's?

00:52:43.880 I saw this thing.

00:52:44.540 Do you see this thing at Rogan's club where the furries showed up and were protesting him?

00:52:47.780 Really?

00:52:48.160 No.

00:52:49.220 Furries?

00:52:49.660 Yeah.

00:52:50.880 See if you can find that.

00:52:51.780 Is this real?

00:52:53.040 Protesters gathered outside Joe Rogan's comedy mothership in Austin.

00:53:04.220 Rogan has died.

00:53:05.260 Alec Jones never again is now.

00:53:08.260 What does that even mean?

00:53:09.480 That was Trisha Paytish's backup slogan.

00:53:14.620 What were they there for?

00:53:16.600 Does it say if you look in the comments or anything?

00:53:18.900 This looks like a silent disco.

00:53:20.360 This is the worst protest I've ever seen.

00:53:22.100 Also, it looks fun.

00:53:23.840 It does look fun.

00:53:24.860 I mean, they have a Cartman out there.

00:53:28.180 Yeah.

00:53:28.580 What was that?

00:53:29.660 Discover the protest at Joe Rogan's comedy mothership in Austin where critics gathered

00:53:32.480 to voice their opinions on the podcaster.

00:53:35.460 Well, first of all, this was on New Year's Eve.

00:53:36.880 So these motherfuckers are lonely.

00:53:38.800 Yeah, that is so sad.

00:53:39.940 Hey, what are you guys doing when the ball drops?

00:53:41.540 We're going to go protest the mothership?

00:53:45.100 Is that even real, I wonder then?

00:53:46.860 I don't know.

00:53:47.400 It looks like it could have just been a party outside of there.

00:53:49.320 Yeah, I don't know.

00:53:49.880 There's two people with a sign.

00:53:50.920 How many people do you need for it to be a protest, you know?

00:53:53.400 Because at one point, I'm curious about the guys who preach the gospel out front of like,

00:53:59.020 you know, you go down a PPG arena and they're preaching the gospel with a sign, but it's

00:54:03.520 one guy.

00:54:04.100 Is that a protest or is he just schizophrenic?

00:54:06.780 That's a good point.

00:54:07.600 Sometimes that's a guy who's just like soapbox kind of.

00:54:10.540 Yeah, yeah.

00:54:11.140 This says here, let me see.

00:54:12.040 It says, protesters gathered outside comedy mothership in Austin on New Year's Eve 2025

00:54:15.160 to criticize Joe Rogan, the club's owner and podcaster.

00:54:17.640 They labeled him as a diet Alex Jones, comparing his views to one of the far right figure Alex

00:54:22.280 Jones, also based in Austin.

00:54:23.980 Critics blame Rogan for dominating Austin's comedy scene since opening the club in 2023,

00:54:29.120 sidelining local video venues like Cold Town Theater and Capital City Comedy Club.

00:54:36.880 Yeah, I don't know.

00:54:38.460 Oh, some of the demonstrators wore inflatable costumes like unicorns, dinosaurs and cows.

00:54:42.920 Which is also Rogan's diet.

00:54:44.220 Plus an Eric Cartman impersonator from South Park while holding up signs such as never

00:54:53.220 again is now.

00:54:54.300 Why is he talking about Yoda?

00:54:55.760 I don't get the never again is now thing.

00:54:57.820 I don't know, but I think you're right when you said that it's Tristan Batis' second slogan.

00:55:01.740 It's a great idea.

00:55:03.120 I don't know, man.

00:55:03.820 That's bizarre.

00:55:05.380 Fellas, you already know what time it is.

00:55:08.180 Look at your watch.

00:55:09.480 Time to knock on wood.

00:55:11.420 Blue Chew!

00:55:12.320 Blue Chew just dropped something crazy.

00:55:16.940 I'm talking next level championship belt gold plated energy.

00:55:21.400 Blue Chew Gold.

00:55:24.020 The newest innovation from the number one chewable ED brand.

00:55:28.740 Let's get that little lump lurking.

00:55:32.380 This ain't your grandpapa's blue pill.

00:55:34.720 This is the four-in-one beast that's setting the gold standard for performance.

00:55:41.020 Yup.

00:55:42.040 Blue Chew Gold.

00:55:43.480 It dissolves under your tongue and works in as little as 15 minutes.

00:55:47.740 That means you can get it on quicker and stay in the game longer.

00:55:51.800 Extra minutes.

00:55:53.260 Elevation without hesitation.

00:55:55.880 Make life easier by getting harder and discover your options at BlueChew.com.

00:56:02.040 And we've got a special deal for our listeners.

00:56:05.220 Get 10% off your first month of Blue Chew Gold with code THEO.

00:56:10.680 That's promo code THEO.

00:56:13.160 Visit BlueChew.com for more details and important safety information.

00:56:18.660 And we thank Blue Chew for sponsoring the podcast.

00:56:22.960 Namaste.

00:56:24.240 Hard.

00:56:24.640 What, uh, what, uh, oh, I saw your, you went to the Rams game.

00:56:30.640 Dude, I, I, I got big in football.

00:56:33.100 I, I, I'm, I'm, I'm locked in.

00:56:34.380 I used to be a guy like three years ago that was like, oh, you like sports?

00:56:37.940 Get a real personality, bud.

00:56:39.140 Get a hobby.

00:56:39.880 Dude, do open nights.

00:56:41.020 Dude, but like I got invited to a Rams game a couple years ago, maybe like two years ago.

00:56:45.000 And I just, it clicked.

00:56:47.400 And I just started, you know, it started by me just going to games.

00:56:51.360 And then it started by me like, you know, like watching the game on your phone.

00:56:54.560 Oh yeah.

00:56:55.180 And you're like a divorce court and you're like just kind of watching it.

00:56:58.080 But, um, over time you just kind of get locked in and it's just like, now I'm all about it.

00:57:02.600 Like I don't, I don't miss a game.

00:57:03.960 I was just at the Rams game on a Sunday against the Cardinals.

00:57:06.680 And like, like now it's to the point where it affects my day.

00:57:09.540 I'm fully in.

00:57:10.660 I was, I was like in denial, but like, it's kind of like with like nicotine or something.

00:57:13.980 Where you're like, I'm not going to get there too.

00:57:15.000 Not me, not me.

00:57:15.720 I'm built different.

00:57:16.320 And then it's, you know, you have one before breakfast.

00:57:18.900 But yeah, I did the chant at the Rams game, like the Who's House chant.

00:57:22.220 Was that scary?

00:57:23.140 What was that vibe like?

00:57:24.200 You know, it was a lot of fun.

00:57:25.240 I think, um, I was definitely more amped up.

00:57:28.040 Let's see it.

00:57:28.520 Pull it up.

00:57:29.720 But I think just performance and standing is just, this is just another gig.

00:57:34.820 Right.

00:57:34.960 You're kind of used to that part.

00:57:35.960 So the nerves aren't there, but I guess off the acoustics, all that would be kind of scary.

00:57:39.580 Well, I will say it's like EDM and sports, like they just cheered anything.

00:57:46.460 Like I did a gig opening, opening lightly.

00:57:50.240 I say for Dylan Francis, you know, Dylan years ago at hard summer, I went up as like a fake

00:57:55.760 DJ before he, his set, the headlining set.

00:57:58.440 So when I went up, there was like a character and was like, what the fuck is up Coachella?

00:58:01.900 And it was at a different music venue.

00:58:03.840 And like, they just cheered.

00:58:05.140 Like they were just happy.

00:58:06.000 Like they, they don't even care.

00:58:07.660 They hear somebody making noise in a mic.

00:58:09.340 I could have went up and went, and they're like, yeah.

00:58:12.140 So like that same kind of energy that I got from that crowd was the, the same I got at

00:58:17.200 the Rams when I'm just like, you yell who's house, you go Rams.

00:58:20.140 Like you're just going to get good feedback.

00:58:22.440 So, um, dude.

00:58:24.080 And it's nice to, it is nice to be a fan of something.

00:58:26.360 Like I became a fan of Vanderbilt.

00:58:27.780 I've been a fan of LSU and, um, and I cheer for the balls, but it's like, it's just nice

00:58:32.920 to be a fan of something.

00:58:34.000 It makes you, gives you something to be kind of invested in.

00:58:36.180 Let's see this.

00:58:36.880 Let's see this who's house part.

00:58:38.740 Is it in here?

00:58:39.540 I can throw 40 yards.

00:58:42.460 Who's house?

00:58:46.120 So awkward.

00:58:47.140 Just saying, they got to cut to try to sneak a quick joke in there.

00:58:54.240 All right.

00:58:54.500 Oh, you do look like a Seahawks logo from the side right there.

00:58:57.640 Um, uh, and you had your own celebration too.

00:59:00.500 I saw the, uh, what was the, what was that celly that he had?

00:59:04.920 Oh, this is, this is dumb.

00:59:06.940 This is insane, dude.

00:59:09.500 Sometimes I just post something and I'm like, man, fuck it.

00:59:11.800 Cause those are the ones that like, that'll either flop or do like whatever, but.

00:59:16.420 I saw this.

00:59:17.360 That's an insane touchdown celebration.

00:59:19.140 Yeah.

00:59:19.320 It's crazy.

00:59:19.800 Dude, John Moran.

00:59:20.580 Can we pull up his, his buckets?

00:59:22.460 You know, John Moran?

00:59:23.240 Yeah.

00:59:23.660 For the Grizzlies.

00:59:24.540 Oh yeah.

00:59:25.040 We're in, uh, uh, Tennessee.

00:59:27.320 His celebrations.

00:59:28.400 I can't stop talking about how, dude, they're the funniest things in the world.

00:59:31.940 The grenade.

00:59:33.080 I haven't even noticed a lot of them.

00:59:34.460 Have you seen them do when he makes like a three, he does the grenade, throws it and

00:59:39.120 then covers his ears.

00:59:40.400 I mean, you have to get them on the pod.

00:59:43.420 The grenade covers the ears.

00:59:45.280 Oh, that is pretty clutch.

00:59:48.960 And then he started doing one that's like a rocket launcher, but then he got, he gets

00:59:52.220 fined for every single one of these.

00:59:53.720 He did a rocket launcher.

00:59:54.720 So now his new one is he'll pull out a gun and then put it down like this.

00:59:58.860 He holsters it and goes like, no fines here.

01:00:02.020 Dude, it's, I like, it's so funny to me.

01:00:05.200 He doesn't give a fuck, huh?

01:00:06.900 No.

01:00:07.720 And he's going to find like probably like 10 or 30 K like for this.

01:00:11.500 But when you're making that much, I just don't know.

01:00:14.420 He puts a gun away, holsters it, puts it down.

01:00:18.100 There we go.

01:00:18.740 And that's, and that's protecting gun violence.

01:00:20.820 That's legendary, dude.

01:00:21.320 It's just funny, man.

01:00:21.880 I think that even the players are getting scared of being over there.

01:00:24.200 So he may need that weapon when he leaves a facility.

01:00:26.740 It's kind of crazy.

01:00:27.480 The one place it should be allowed to actually have weapons in the sellies is there.

01:00:33.100 Right, right, right.

01:00:33.700 Yeah.

01:00:33.920 It depends on the team.

01:00:35.360 If you're on the Warriors, okay, that's enough.

01:00:38.140 Yeah.

01:00:38.580 You just tweet about it, you know, just hit up Zuck and be like, this guy's bullying me online.

01:00:42.140 But if you're in Memphis, yeah, you need at least like a bow and arrow or the RPG.

01:00:46.080 Yeah, I think you deserve that.

01:00:47.280 What is Memphis like?

01:00:48.100 You're going there on my tour.

01:00:48.880 Oh, Memphis is awesome, dude.

01:00:49.980 It has so much history.

01:00:51.580 It's just gotten this kind of, it's gotten like a lot of, it's got a lot of danger downtown

01:00:54.820 at night and in just different areas.

01:00:56.780 And it makes it kind of a bummer because you can't go enjoy like the vibes that are there.

01:01:01.320 Graceland is really great if you get to go see Elvis's house.

01:01:03.520 Okay.

01:01:04.000 It's great.

01:01:04.440 I've heard about that.

01:01:04.960 It's great.

01:01:05.280 It's worth going to see.

01:01:06.040 And that's where, wait, hold on.

01:01:07.680 I'm really dumb.

01:01:08.460 Elvis lived in Memphis or Graceland is on the outskirts of Memphis.

01:01:12.240 It's in Memphis and Elvis lived there.

01:01:14.560 Elvis in Memphis?

01:01:15.420 Oh, he was probably clapping BBWs.

01:01:18.660 I mean, I don't know what it was like back then, man, but I bet it was a great mix of

01:01:21.860 music and sound and culture and everything.

01:01:24.180 I mean, Memphis used to be so great.

01:01:25.700 Dude, if you get to stay at the hotel downtown where they have the ducks and the ducks come

01:01:29.280 in like every day at like, I think 4 p.m., the duck master brings in the ducks.

01:01:35.560 Is this a military thing?

01:01:36.920 No, it's like these ducks that come in and they swim in the pond up there.

01:01:40.220 The famous Peabody ducks at the Peabody Hotel.

01:01:42.140 No, I've never heard of this.

01:01:43.060 Yeah.

01:01:43.920 The Peabody ducks are the resident mallards at the Peabody Memphis Hotel, known for their

01:01:48.840 daily march down a red carpet into the lobby fountain at 11 a.m. and back to their rooftop

01:01:54.380 duck palace at 5 p.m.

01:01:57.180 The tradition began in 1933 when the hotel's general manager and a friend, after some whiskey,

01:02:04.160 put their live duck decoys in the lobby fountain, delighting guests.

01:02:09.820 Hmm.

01:02:10.740 Okay.

01:02:11.500 What's crazy is ducks are called ducks because they literally duck.

01:02:15.420 Yeah.

01:02:16.160 Oh, it could be just a couple of brothers.

01:02:17.480 It could be a couple of brothers named Duck.

01:02:19.600 But these are the actual ducks.

01:02:20.960 Yeah, people come in and the duck master walks them in and the duck master live in the hotel

01:02:24.780 up top.

01:02:25.700 Does he really?

01:02:26.280 Yeah.

01:02:26.600 It's a beautiful place.

01:02:27.440 And they got a great place there where they sell like a replica suits that Elvis used

01:02:31.300 to wear.

01:02:31.620 I got one last time I was over there.

01:02:33.800 Oh, wow.

01:02:34.340 It's pretty cool.

01:02:35.060 Yeah, I'm excited.

01:02:35.460 I'm going to do a lot of places I've never been on my tour.

01:02:37.140 Um, and Memphis is definitely one of them.

01:02:39.260 Oh, it's going to be good.

01:02:40.040 Yeah.

01:02:40.320 There's great people there.

01:02:41.400 It's great shows.

01:02:42.040 It's just, they got this, they got like, I don't know, it just gets a little bit tragic

01:02:45.700 over there and kind of shooty.

01:02:46.940 That's the thing.

01:02:48.080 It gets shooty at night, but there's a chance of precipitation from a Luger.

01:02:53.100 People popping off anymore.

01:02:54.760 Yeah.

01:02:55.400 Um, well, that's, that's, but yeah, that bus nut celly, dude, that shit's nice, man.

01:02:59.420 Yeah.

01:02:59.560 That's crazy.

01:03:00.300 When do you think the first person that ever busted a nut actually was?

01:03:03.540 Do you think you pull that up?

01:03:04.740 Adam?

01:03:05.620 Huh?

01:03:06.120 Was it Adam?

01:03:07.140 No.

01:03:07.600 Adam Lambert?

01:03:08.260 No.

01:03:08.540 Like and Eve?

01:03:09.300 Or are they even real?

01:03:11.600 Yeah.

01:03:12.460 Adam and Eve?

01:03:13.720 They had to have been.

01:03:15.100 Somebody had to start it.

01:03:15.880 I mean, I don't think we should go down that road right now, but we can, but it just might

01:03:20.580 take a long time.

01:03:21.800 The earliest recorded references to ejaculation in human history appear in ancient Sumerian

01:03:26.660 and Egyptian myths from around 2,500 to 2,400.

01:03:30.160 It was the Somalis.

01:03:31.800 These texts describe, these texts describe God creating rivers, deities, and the world

01:03:37.720 through acts of masturbation and seminal omission.

01:03:41.720 I wonder how many people called out of work the next day once they found out about masturbation.

01:03:45.240 Oh, it's like in middle school when like a new video game would drop and you'd be like

01:03:50.540 be home sick the next day when like COD dropped.

01:03:53.400 Oh, if a good game dropped.

01:03:54.780 Man, I miss it.

01:03:56.340 Dude, that shit was so nice, bro.

01:03:57.660 Do you play any video games?

01:03:59.880 Not right now.

01:04:00.620 I haven't been playing them, man.

01:04:01.660 I wouldn't mind.

01:04:02.140 Oh, I do play, I played Breath of the Wild and I played whatever the second one was.

01:04:06.780 I'm not sure I know that.

01:04:07.940 What was the second one?

01:04:08.820 It was on Switch.

01:04:10.680 Oh, yeah.

01:04:11.360 You're a Switch guy?

01:04:12.280 Yeah, I like Switch.

01:04:13.180 Just because I can kind of keep with me on the go.

01:04:14.920 Oh, Tears of the Kingdom.

01:04:17.700 The second one was not good.

01:04:20.560 It was just too involved.

01:04:22.080 It was like, bro, I don't have time for it.

01:04:23.900 You had to like heat everything.

01:04:25.080 It was like too many things.

01:04:26.080 Like the first thing you have to warm up your food, it's like, okay, I'll spend a little

01:04:28.620 bit of time doing that.

01:04:29.680 But this one, you had to like heat up your, like if you wanted your thing to fly you to

01:04:35.400 warm up these days, it just was way too, it was like, dude, what the fuck?

01:04:38.980 I have a job, you know?

01:04:41.060 Yeah.

01:04:41.440 And shouldn't you want me to have a job?

01:04:43.140 Like how much time would you want me to spend here?

01:04:45.560 It felt like they wanted you to spend so much time there.

01:04:48.380 It felt kind of unfair.

01:04:49.800 Okay.

01:04:50.940 I'll avoid it.

01:04:52.060 So that's what I kind of felt like.

01:04:53.160 It does look kind of chill though, the flying.

01:04:54.440 When does it, when does someone's nut actually bust?

01:04:57.020 What is that about?

01:04:59.040 You know what I'm saying?

01:04:59.740 You hear about it, but what's like the exact, like, what is the actual, like, what's like

01:05:04.480 the NASCAR, the wave of the flag to go?

01:05:07.460 Yeah.

01:05:08.240 When is that?

01:05:09.320 When is that?

01:05:10.120 When is the nut, when is the nut actually bust?

01:05:12.400 If you can look that up.

01:05:14.200 Is it faster than the speed?

01:05:15.200 Without us being on a list also.

01:05:16.980 Oh yeah.

01:05:17.400 But is it like, you know, like the speed of light?

01:05:19.740 Like, do you think there's something called like the speed of nut?

01:05:22.520 I mean, it's right there.

01:05:24.040 It has to be something.

01:05:25.260 Because it's really how creation started.

01:05:27.120 I mean, they're saying right there that it's like in ancient texts that that's how like

01:05:31.360 the creation of rivers and lands and even people started.

01:05:35.300 How many miles per hour is it?

01:05:37.400 I think that'd be something.

01:05:38.460 Let's learn.

01:05:38.980 A nut bust is slang for ejaculation during masturbation or sex.

01:05:43.280 It refers to the moment of orgasm when semen is released.

01:05:46.040 The phrase emerged in the 1930s with nuts, meaning testicles, since the 1800s.

01:05:53.060 It evolved to describing climaxing explosively.

01:05:57.620 People use it interchangeably.

01:06:00.160 And this is via perplexity.

01:06:01.800 Thank you.

01:06:02.120 People use it interchangeably with bust a nut, often in casual or explicit talk about male

01:06:08.580 orgasms.

01:06:09.200 It applies specifically to masturbation in contexts like solo sessions.

01:06:13.280 What do you, do you call it bust a nut or you got something fun like release the hounds?

01:06:17.800 I do that, like that one, two, one, two, three, release them.

01:06:24.000 I do that.

01:06:25.100 I do that.

01:06:26.400 Five, six, seven, eight.

01:06:28.840 I do that chocolate stud, that lady that sings at the funerals, you know?

01:06:32.120 No, who's this?

01:06:33.100 You didn't see her?

01:06:34.060 Maybe.

01:06:34.640 Oh, this is someone I love right here.

01:06:36.340 Oh, dude, I got to show you this song.

01:06:38.180 You don't know this?

01:06:38.720 Speaking of grandma.

01:06:39.580 Uh-uh.

01:06:40.140 Play her real quick.

01:06:41.080 This is the...

01:06:41.640 Oh, I do know this.

01:06:48.960 I bet the other dead bodies are like type shit.

01:06:51.440 This is kind of good.

01:06:58.560 There's a truck going by.

01:07:00.320 That's a funeral, bro.

01:07:01.440 Is that what it is?

01:07:03.460 That is like...

01:07:05.300 That's a Hall of Fame stud suit right there.

01:07:07.260 They need to hang that up somewhere in a bowling alley.

01:07:10.580 Some people thought this was Nate Robinson, dude.

01:07:15.380 One, two, one, two, three, release them.

01:07:19.180 I wish it ever.

01:07:20.380 There you go right there.

01:07:21.980 Yo.

01:07:22.580 That shit was hard.

01:07:23.460 She gets hired everywhere now.

01:07:25.260 Shout out to her.

01:07:25.860 What's her name as well?

01:07:27.180 Really?

01:07:27.460 She gets hired everywhere now.

01:07:28.840 She's blown up.

01:07:29.360 Bro, she's about to get the fucking triple bookings after this podcast drops.

01:07:32.280 She's blown up.

01:07:33.180 She sings.

01:07:34.020 What did she charge for this?

01:07:35.220 The release them was hard.

01:07:36.280 That was literally like the smoke at like a DJ set.

01:07:39.120 Oh, yeah.

01:07:40.060 That was sick, man.

01:07:41.540 Nisi Robinson.

01:07:43.760 Release them.

01:07:44.720 She really popped off.

01:07:45.680 One, two, three, release them.

01:07:46.640 I wish that heaven had a phone to call you up.

01:07:48.780 Man, that's the truth, bro.

01:07:51.020 And that's, I think, her own song, isn't it?

01:07:54.140 Bro, I heard a song last night.

01:07:55.500 It's so good.

01:07:56.740 It's about a grandma dying on Instagram Reels.

01:08:00.660 What is it?

01:08:02.200 Can you type in Miami something bazooka?

01:08:05.100 Bro, it's the funniest song.

01:08:06.560 It's so good.

01:08:07.960 It's an AI song?

01:08:08.900 Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

01:08:09.520 No, it's a real dude.

01:08:10.900 But it's getting a lot of play right now.

01:08:12.960 Let's hear it.

01:08:15.520 This shit is hard.

01:08:17.200 It might be my walkout song.

01:08:19.080 Ooh, pull up.

01:08:19.660 I love this.

01:08:20.340 Yeah.

01:08:20.920 I got to get a new walkout.

01:08:21.500 Or play some of my funeral with the balloons.

01:08:23.340 I hope we don't die for a long time, though.

01:08:27.080 Type shit.

01:08:27.780 Kind of a buildup.

01:08:29.080 Tennessee type shit.

01:08:29.980 Wait for it.

01:08:45.980 Imagine this was Ja Morant highlights.

01:08:48.520 I was in my room trying to teach my little sister.

01:08:52.280 Then I heard a boom and it sounded like a missile.

01:08:55.480 Who that is?

01:08:57.080 What that was?

01:08:58.660 Or that granny?

01:09:00.100 Or she done?

01:09:01.460 Oh, she gone.

01:09:03.180 What the fuck?

01:09:04.420 All right.

01:09:04.880 Yeah, that's all the part I heard, bro.

01:09:06.900 But Recipe's my greatest shit hit by a bazooka.

01:09:10.340 Honestly, if my grandma died by a bazooka, I mean, like, that's kind of a sick way to go out.

01:09:14.540 Well, there's only so many ways to go, bro.

01:09:16.900 I've always said once I die, I want my body to be shot out of a cannon into a schoolyard of kids that are playing.

01:09:22.000 They don't know I'm coming.

01:09:22.900 Really?

01:09:23.360 Right?

01:09:23.640 Shot over the fence or whatever, right?

01:09:25.360 Oh, your body or cremated?

01:09:27.380 Yeah, my body.

01:09:27.880 No.

01:09:28.080 Oh, nice.

01:09:28.660 Yeah, yeah.

01:09:28.960 And the first kid to come up and touch my body gets everything that I have.

01:09:32.820 That's like a Mr. Beast games.

01:09:34.060 Yeah.

01:09:34.560 Or you should be, like, a field goal, like, for Vanderbilt.

01:09:37.700 Like, your body gets shot through the t-shirt cannon through it.

01:09:40.420 That'd be crazy.

01:09:41.140 I think it would be cool if you got put into a special thing in a t-shirt cannon and they shot you out or something.

01:09:45.860 They should do shit like that.

01:09:47.220 It's like, um...

01:09:48.940 I've been preaching this for a minute.

01:09:50.240 Like, there's so many cool, like, Jenna reveals where they do, like, all this stuff, but you've never seen, like, a viral cremation.

01:09:54.500 Like, I'm sick and tired.

01:09:55.320 Like, I've been writing a bit about it, but, like, I want my ashes to get blown out of the exhaust of, like, a Ford F-350.

01:10:00.940 And I want to do half and half.

01:10:02.780 Top part cremated, bottom half, open casket.

01:10:05.140 Like, I want to do half and half.

01:10:06.360 Come and see that jump.

01:10:07.520 Yes, sir.

01:10:08.200 I love that.

01:10:08.900 But, like, nobody's doing fun stuff with, like, the ashes.

01:10:11.060 It's always like, oh, let's go to Mount Rushmore so she can be close to an old president.

01:10:15.540 Yeah.

01:10:16.380 And I've been there, and it's not that great.

01:10:17.720 They do have good ice cream.

01:10:19.140 But, yeah, it's not worth going all the way to drop your ashes.

01:10:22.320 I agree.

01:10:22.680 Do something great.

01:10:24.280 Surprise people at a party.

01:10:25.400 There you go.

01:10:25.880 Do this Civil War type shit.

01:10:27.040 Shoot me back in.

01:10:27.300 Shoot me out of a cannon.

01:10:28.760 Here we go.

01:10:29.500 Yeah, where are you getting your ashes blown out?

01:10:31.880 I don't know.

01:10:32.880 It's a good question.

01:10:34.020 It's like—

01:10:34.340 Honestly, like, a strip club would be far.

01:10:35.940 Just, like, doing it with ashes.

01:10:37.980 Let John Morant throw him out.

01:10:40.100 He would do it, dude.

01:10:42.160 He has all those famous, like, strip club scenes.

01:10:44.680 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:10:45.360 Go back to the other thing, though.

01:10:46.940 This is good.

01:10:47.500 Ejaculation speed varies, but sources cite average speeds around 27 to 28 miles per hour.

01:10:55.040 That's like two bird scooters.

01:10:56.220 Or up to 45 kilometers per hour, while sperm itself can move faster, sometimes reaching 70 kilometers an hour.

01:11:01.620 Though it slows significantly inside the female reproductive tract, women will slow anything down.

01:11:07.640 Spees are measured in bursts during contractions.

01:11:10.820 I do the damn makeup on the—

01:11:12.620 I always think about this like—

01:11:15.100 Average ejaculation around 27 to 28 miles per hour, bro.

01:11:19.580 I think, like, if it was a baseball, I feel like I could hit it.

01:11:22.160 How fast is that?

01:11:23.340 I feel like I could hit that.

01:11:25.480 Yeah, because—

01:11:26.120 27 miles an hour?

01:11:26.800 Yeah, you could hit it.

01:11:27.440 If somebody threw a bunch of sperm at you, you could hit it.

01:11:30.220 Because MLB, they're doing, what, 90?

01:11:31.260 If you're a complete gay weirdo, you could fucking—

01:11:34.380 But I'm thinking if it was a fastball—

01:11:36.300 Oh, I'd just say ball and just catch it.

01:11:38.800 That's the gayest thing you could do.

01:11:40.440 Yo, pause.

01:11:41.880 I was just thinking, well—

01:11:43.720 This shit is already really gay.

01:11:45.820 Like, I low-key want to, like, drive a car 27 miles an hour down the street right now

01:11:49.500 just so I can comprehend how fast it is.

01:11:51.660 Well, I will say this.

01:11:52.500 If you got on the very hood, say somebody drove it, 27 miles an hour,

01:11:55.320 you get on the hood, and you get your wiener just above the front of the hood,

01:11:58.860 and you bust for a—

01:12:00.420 Like a Buick?

01:12:01.320 Or say you go about 25 miles an hour, yeah.

01:12:03.780 If you bust, it should kind of stay in front of you guys just a little bit.

01:12:08.580 Now, that would be pretty awesome to see.

01:12:10.800 That's something you guys should start doing, man.

01:12:12.320 You could use that to raise money for the—

01:12:13.580 Yo, they need to start doing that for, like, dude perfect.

01:12:16.760 Yeah, yeah, dude.

01:12:18.660 Because, dude, you're already perfect.

01:12:19.940 You're fucking shooting these bitches off of the mall.

01:12:22.620 You're shooting them off of, like, a burning shopping mall

01:12:24.780 into, like, a children's daycare.

01:12:27.640 And then they speed up, and it gets all over you.

01:12:30.040 No, but you're—

01:12:30.620 Dude, you're already perfect.

01:12:31.680 Those guys are already perfect.

01:12:32.740 Somebody tell them.

01:12:33.340 They're doing hook shots from, like, the—

01:12:35.680 Dude, they're doing hook shots from Ukraine?

01:12:37.500 Yeah, from Ukraine and landing them, like, in Russia.

01:12:40.960 Like, you're doing great, dude.

01:12:42.860 Like—

01:12:43.280 Yeah.

01:12:44.400 It should just be called Dudes Done It.

01:12:46.280 They've done it.

01:12:46.940 Yeah, you've done it.

01:12:47.720 So start doing other cool shit.

01:12:49.320 What is this?

01:12:49.740 Man flips over Corvette driving at 30 miles per hour.

01:12:51.960 Okay, let's watch it.

01:12:53.720 I got people on the bus and Matt.

01:12:58.840 Oh!

01:12:59.560 Wow.

01:12:59.880 That sounded like it hit his legs.

01:13:01.980 Some hit.

01:13:03.460 Ooh.

01:13:04.500 If that's even real.

01:13:05.580 He did a flip.

01:13:08.440 Yeah, that was pretty cool.

01:13:11.300 Is there an exact moment that the nut actually busts?

01:13:14.500 And does it take longer to come out with a bigger hog?

01:13:17.460 Because it's got more travel space.

01:13:19.460 Or does that propel it like a slide?

01:13:21.780 Like a long—

01:13:22.160 Shouldn't you already know that?

01:13:24.880 I don't study hogs.

01:13:26.780 That's true.

01:13:27.360 But, like, if—

01:13:28.680 I'll tell you it doesn't.

01:13:30.540 No?

01:13:31.760 It's the same speed?

01:13:32.800 I think so.

01:13:33.800 I've never seen a small hog do it.

01:13:35.900 But wouldn't it have to travel more?

01:13:37.900 Penis size doesn't directly dictate ejaculation time.

01:13:41.000 Some studies link larger glands volume to faster ejaculation, while others—

01:13:45.280 Nothing to see here, Trevor.

01:13:46.840 While others' findings like those are—

01:13:49.700 Yeah.

01:13:50.340 I don't think it matters that much, man.

01:13:52.040 I'm going to tell that to a woman.

01:13:53.880 But, hey, you want to see something travel at 27 to 28 miles an hour in a minute?

01:13:57.800 That's not a bad line.

01:13:58.960 It's not that at all.

01:14:00.280 What do you think we get at the 30?

01:14:02.140 Hey, come over.

01:14:02.800 You want to see this?

01:14:03.860 You got a speed gun?

01:14:05.860 Damn.

01:14:06.180 Did you ever meet someone—

01:14:07.040 Yeah, you want to use this cop gun on this?

01:14:08.380 Cop gun.

01:14:09.020 On this nut.

01:14:09.120 You ever meet somebody and wonder, like, how are you the sperm that made it?

01:14:14.220 Yeah.

01:14:14.640 You know what I mean?

01:14:15.200 Oh, you realize there was a slim group of racers.

01:14:18.020 Oh, yeah.

01:14:18.480 They were racing on an off day.

01:14:20.180 Yeah.

01:14:20.700 Or there must have been, like, some bad weather that day.

01:14:22.760 But, like, sometimes I'm like, how are you the sperm cell that beat everyone else?

01:14:27.520 Oh, yeah.

01:14:27.840 There's some people that shouldn't be people.

01:14:30.000 Yeah.

01:14:30.660 There's some people that shouldn't be people for sure.

01:14:32.460 Who's top three people you would like to take out or that don't need to be people?

01:14:36.920 Oh.

01:14:37.100 And it can be a type of person.

01:14:38.660 Or not like a race, but like somebody who works at, like, a—

01:14:42.440 Let me think.

01:14:44.360 Like a barista or something.

01:14:46.780 Probably this gay dude that gave my friend a Heimlich maneuver when we were high on LSD at a Woff house when we were kids.

01:14:58.580 He did too much.

01:15:00.960 He wasn't even choking.

01:15:02.440 We don't know if he was.

01:15:03.540 Just clocking him from the back.

01:15:04.800 I mean, he did a lot.

01:15:06.140 It was a lot.

01:15:07.120 Really?

01:15:07.500 Tell me about that.

01:15:08.260 He was choking.

01:15:09.060 Yeah, we were on LSD.

01:15:10.640 We went there, and we saw a black gay guy.

01:15:12.080 We'd never seen it before, so we didn't even know what to do, right?

01:15:14.880 We were like, no.

01:15:15.780 This is in Covington?

01:15:17.080 Yeah, and we're like, no way or whatever, you know?

01:15:19.180 We're freaking out, and we're already freaking out.

01:15:22.040 We're like, you know, we're probably—

01:15:23.120 LSD.

01:15:24.120 15, LSD, Woffle House, just sitting there rattling.

01:15:27.840 How'd you know he was a little—

01:15:30.180 He seemed—yeah, he was wearing, like, flare and shit.

01:15:32.240 They didn't even have flare, really.

01:15:33.420 He was wearing, like, a lot of, like, exciting flare and stuff.

01:15:36.700 Like light-up shoes.

01:15:37.820 Yeah, just shit that was, like, yeah.

01:15:39.480 Yeah, like his whole fucking—like, his dick was probably glow-in-the-dark or whatever,

01:15:43.660 you know?

01:15:44.060 So you could just feel like—it felt like something warm was coming out of his pants.

01:15:48.300 Like, if he got close to you, it felt like it was warm in the front of his pants.

01:15:50.800 Yeah, okay, I hear you.

01:15:51.540 But anyway, yeah, my friend started choking, I think, and also we were laughing so hard

01:15:55.520 because we were just so high, and he started Heimlich-ing him, and he just kept doing it.

01:15:59.680 It was crazy, dude.

01:16:00.720 And I was laughing so hard, I was—like, tears were flying out of my—I couldn't even—I couldn't even try to save my friend.

01:16:08.460 I was, like, laughing so hard.

01:16:09.360 And then I just pulled up.

01:16:10.100 And my friend was kind of small, and he just kept doing it to him.

01:16:13.100 But anyway—

01:16:14.300 But you'd take him out?

01:16:15.780 I think we should have a talk.

01:16:17.540 Okay.

01:16:18.160 I think things—you know, that was kind of a lot.

01:16:21.660 I saw that you just went to Africa, dude.

01:16:23.280 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:16:24.140 That was pretty fun.

01:16:25.240 Were you touring over there?

01:16:26.280 No, no.

01:16:27.740 You go with your girl?

01:16:28.760 No, I was with my family.

01:16:29.740 I was literally just—it was one of those things where, like, a year ago, my mom texts a family group chat,

01:16:35.040 which is a pretty boring chat.

01:16:36.580 Somebody's got to spice it up.

01:16:38.020 My mom just texts and goes, hey, would you guys want to go to Africa as a family?

01:16:41.580 Like, I was like, yeah, I'm down.

01:16:44.120 And then it comes, like, nine months later, like, hey, you've got to get these shots.

01:16:47.880 Like, you're gone.

01:16:48.420 Like, this is a thing.

01:16:49.040 And I'm like, oh, fuck, this is actually happening.

01:16:51.760 And, yeah, I got, like, five shots.

01:16:53.740 And then went with family, just did a bunch of safari stuff.

01:16:57.040 And it was pretty cool.

01:16:59.400 Were you glad you did?

01:17:01.060 Yeah, definitely.

01:17:02.000 I think it was fun just being—because I haven't done, like, a family trip in, like, over a decade.

01:17:07.040 So it was fun to just be with my parents and my sister for the first time, like, actually doing something in a while.

01:17:13.040 Yeah.

01:17:13.320 But it's so funny that it's like my brain is so brainwashed.

01:17:15.400 There's, like, literally a lion eating a zebra in front of me.

01:17:17.780 And I'm like, yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:17:18.580 But, like, you can see this on reels.

01:17:20.740 Right.

01:17:21.420 Like, it was definitely cool.

01:17:23.180 It was very surreal seeing—because the safaris are all at—I don't even remember.

01:17:28.700 Were you guys in Kenya?

01:17:29.520 Where'd you go?

01:17:30.040 Yeah, Kenya.

01:17:30.760 Savo and Baseli.

01:17:31.700 Which one?

01:17:32.020 Did you guys want to go to one of those?

01:17:33.880 I'm not sure which one, but we were in—kind of, like, all around the, like, outskirts of Nairobi.

01:17:39.660 And it's, like, each one would be, like, three hours.

01:17:41.220 So all these are, like, kind of in, like, sanctuaries where the hotel is, and then you travel around the hotel.

01:17:46.220 But traveling from kind of hotel to hotel, that's really where you see, like, the real, real side of Africa.

01:17:51.120 And that was, like, very—I want to say, like, probably the best sense of community I've ever seen.

01:17:55.300 Like, everybody's just outside doing something.

01:17:58.120 Oh, I went on a hot air balloon.

01:17:59.560 That was the—have you ever been on a hot air balloon?

01:18:01.660 No, I don't know if I have.

01:18:03.180 It's—oh, you'd know.

01:18:04.300 It's—it was honestly the coolest thing I've ever done.

01:18:06.400 It was, like—what's crazy is when the fire's going to propel you, it's loud as hell.

01:18:11.700 But when it's not, it's dead silent.

01:18:13.480 And this was at, like, 7 a.m.

01:18:14.940 So you're just sitting there in the sky in silence.

01:18:17.840 But, uh, yes, seeing the communities were—was so interesting because—

01:18:22.760 Dude, that's sick.

01:18:23.780 Everybody's outside.

01:18:24.800 Everybody's, like—like, nobody's really, like, hanging on their phones, which—

01:18:29.000 Well, some people might not have phones, and they don't have air conditioning, too.

01:18:31.660 Yeah.

01:18:32.340 But, like, just—

01:18:33.120 But it's also part of the culture, just being alive and, like, seeing what's going on.

01:18:36.340 But everybody was either, like—no matter where you were going, there was just people just, like, walking.

01:18:41.000 There's always some that—I don't know, man.

01:18:43.480 It's just—it was really a cool perspective to see.

01:18:45.920 Oh, yeah.

01:18:46.060 Like, that literally—like, I'm seeing elephants, like, this close in front of me, and I'm, like, acting like this is normal.

01:18:50.680 Yeah.

01:18:51.660 Dude, that's beautiful, man.

01:18:52.560 It was actually really beautiful, and I had a great time.

01:18:54.920 I'm trying to think about funny stuff that happened out there, if any.

01:18:58.420 That's amazing.

01:18:59.280 And do they have a lot of, like, Wiggas over there or anything like that, or is it not that?

01:19:02.260 It's just me, but not that I—no, I mean—

01:19:07.960 Because that's where they would really be at, because otherwise that's kind of an American thing then, I guess.

01:19:11.820 I don't know if I saw, like, any, like—

01:19:16.120 Because that's where the—

01:19:17.060 Local white people.

01:19:18.600 But I'm just saying, they've got to have some, and if they do, are some of them, you know—

01:19:23.160 Well, I think they go there in disguise, taking notes, and then—

01:19:27.320 And bring it back over here?

01:19:28.440 Once they go back home, yeah.

01:19:29.520 They're, like, a secret spy for back home.

01:19:32.060 What about MGK?

01:19:32.920 You think he's one or no?

01:19:34.400 I think graduated.

01:19:36.240 He—yeah, once you put, like, a paperclip in as an earring, I think you've graduated.

01:19:40.240 Bailey Zimmerman is one.

01:19:42.440 Yeah, is he?

01:19:44.060 Yeah.

01:19:44.340 I don't know.

01:19:44.640 I'm not super familiar with his music, but I know he's very popular.

01:19:47.160 Yeah.

01:19:48.680 Who else out there is—

01:19:50.180 I don't know.

01:19:50.760 But I'm just saying, if they don't have a mayor, then it's an American thing, or it's a British thing.

01:19:55.100 What are we talking about?

01:19:56.040 Wiggas.

01:19:57.780 What are you talking about?

01:19:58.960 I don't know.

01:19:59.480 I was trying to think about other artists who might get allegations.

01:20:02.060 Oh, no, I'm just saying—I mean, Elton John was kind of one, even though he never—

01:20:05.680 Was he really?

01:20:06.280 I think he was, kind of just from his style, for sure.

01:20:09.160 He was more on, like, the Wiggles side of things.

01:20:11.020 Huh?

01:20:11.320 I think he was more on, like, the Wiggles side of things.

01:20:13.260 Well, I mean, I think it's very close.

01:20:15.980 Yeah.

01:20:16.560 If you wiggle enough, a brother will show up, you know?

01:20:19.060 So I think, like, you wiggle enough, somebody's going to cornrow your hair and light a fucking blunt for you.

01:20:26.120 Who's the OG, would you say?

01:20:28.460 Oh, the OGs?

01:20:29.280 I mean, there's—

01:20:30.000 Would it be Elvis?

01:20:31.960 Oh, that's a good call.

01:20:33.500 Michael Rappaport was kind of one, I think, in his day, for sure.

01:20:37.180 Who's that guy, Gianni?

01:20:39.360 Gianni Paolo?

01:20:40.720 He's the frontrunner.

01:20:42.600 He's Heisman.

01:20:43.420 He's Heisman, for sure.

01:20:44.560 We go to the UFC fights all the time.

01:20:45.840 He is Heisman.

01:20:46.860 Every time I see a photo of him, his chains get bigger and bigger.

01:20:49.880 And they get stolen-er and stolen-er.

01:20:51.940 Really?

01:20:52.160 That's a great—oh, yeah.

01:20:53.160 He gets them stolen?

01:20:53.960 Yeah.

01:20:54.300 This shit has been fucking—

01:20:55.100 Dude, I, like—we're boys on Instagram.

01:20:57.200 I've never met him in real life.

01:20:58.200 But every time I see him, he's flexing more and more money.

01:21:00.440 I'm like, how many episodes of power were you on?

01:21:02.640 The best, bro.

01:21:03.840 He's going to need some power to fucking—he's going to need some power to keep people off

01:21:07.840 his chains, bro.

01:21:08.700 Do you think he gets snatched like that?

01:21:09.920 I think it happens a lot within the culture.

01:21:11.900 It's part of the culture.

01:21:12.700 It's kind of like—it's like—

01:21:13.740 Well, he almost seems like a sting operation.

01:21:15.440 It's like capture the flag kind of—

01:21:16.840 Some people say he's a fed.

01:21:19.080 Some people say he snitched on Diddy.

01:21:21.100 Diddy?

01:21:21.700 I don't know.

01:21:23.000 But I've just heard a lot of that shit.

01:21:24.540 Some people say he's a fed.

01:21:25.460 I mean, look at him.

01:21:26.480 But he's got to be like the Heisman for that community.

01:21:29.560 I think if you had—every year, they should Heisman up a Wiga, I think.

01:21:32.600 Yeah.

01:21:33.160 And I think—

01:21:33.760 Who do they got for 2025?

01:21:35.180 I think this guy is a candidate.

01:21:37.100 Him.

01:21:37.480 I think you'd put MGK in there, though.

01:21:38.940 I don't think—MGK's kind of his own thing, though.

01:21:41.960 I would say—

01:21:42.920 He's just multifaceted.

01:21:44.360 I think he's, you know—

01:21:46.100 I think Rife's up there a little bit.

01:21:47.760 Fresh off Wildin' Out a little bit.

01:21:49.060 Oh, Matt Rife, definitely.

01:21:50.540 Off the Wildin' Out days a little bit.

01:21:52.020 With the abs, you can't have great abs and not be Wiggin'.

01:21:54.920 Now he's more kind of like—

01:21:56.240 I think Rife has Wigga in him.

01:21:58.740 Yeah.

01:21:59.300 Or H-Dub, Hidden Wigga, they call it.

01:22:02.840 I'm trying to think of who else.

01:22:04.960 Oh, maybe that—

01:22:06.480 Oh, Dan Bongino.

01:22:08.220 Oh, yeah.

01:22:08.880 Tim Walls.

01:22:10.280 Tim Dillon, maybe.

01:22:11.840 Tony the Tiger, probably.

01:22:14.440 That guy that was in Salt.

01:22:19.340 Salt Burn?

01:22:20.160 Salt Burn, but not the main guy.

01:22:22.360 Barry Keoghan?

01:22:23.040 Barry Keoghan.

01:22:23.900 Is he?

01:22:24.920 I could see it.

01:22:26.080 He's Irish.

01:22:27.600 Almost all Irish people are.

01:22:29.380 All right.

01:22:29.940 Yeah, I feel like there's some obvious ones that I'm missing.

01:22:32.400 Oh, I thought that was a picture of damn—

01:22:34.640 I think Chalamet is a little bit.

01:22:36.180 He could low-key have some in him.

01:22:37.620 I thought this was a picture of—

01:22:39.840 Who are those lion tamers in Vegas?

01:22:42.080 Penn and Teller?

01:22:43.120 No.

01:22:43.820 Fuck.

01:22:45.080 I thought that was Siegfried and Roy.

01:22:46.420 Oh, I thought that was like Sigmund Freud.

01:22:49.280 I didn't even know, dude.

01:22:51.120 But no, I'm just glad to know it's happening out there.

01:22:53.500 Dude, did you see in—

01:22:55.100 When Speed, I suppose Speed, raced that Cheetah?

01:22:58.200 Mm-mm.

01:22:58.860 Dude.

01:23:00.200 Did he beat it?

01:23:01.340 Pulled it up.

01:23:01.900 How fast are Cheetahs running?

01:23:03.240 Because the real speed is what can go faster, a Cheetah or a nut?

01:23:07.000 We'll find out right now.

01:23:08.060 Let's see that.

01:23:08.460 We're about to race the Cheetah.

01:23:11.040 Come on, baby.

01:23:13.820 What the f***?

01:23:14.660 You see that?

01:23:16.780 It scratched him.

01:23:17.700 What the f***?

01:23:32.200 Wait, I'm lost.

01:23:36.380 Dang.

01:23:36.800 Wait, so how fast was—

01:23:38.380 It said 110 miles an hour.

01:23:39.720 That's just not real.

01:23:40.560 It said the Cheetah hit up to 92 miles an hour at some point.

01:23:43.200 I don't know if that was—

01:23:43.940 I mean, these are all edits, but still, the fact that he raced a Cheetah is wild.

01:23:48.000 What's an animal you could race and beat, you think?

01:23:50.140 Rooster.

01:23:51.940 But if they're not flying.

01:23:54.100 If they're only running.

01:23:54.960 They can't fly.

01:23:56.020 But they can, like, kind of jumpstart a little bit.

01:23:57.660 They go nine miles an hour.

01:23:59.260 Yeah, I could beat it.

01:24:00.240 I don't know, nine miles?

01:24:01.540 Dude, can you run nine miles in an hour?

01:24:03.340 Throughout the day, yeah.

01:24:04.440 Well, that's not throughout the day, bro.

01:24:07.380 It's in one hour.

01:24:08.780 You only get one hour.

01:24:09.900 You only get one part of a day.

01:24:11.360 Nine miles in an hour.

01:24:12.560 And they can briefly reach up to 15 miles an hour when they're flapping their wings.

01:24:16.140 Me too.

01:24:16.760 I could beat a—

01:24:17.780 That was crazy.

01:24:19.740 I could beat a rooster off, like, a 40-yard dash if he's not using his wings.

01:24:24.140 What about you?

01:24:25.340 I don't know.

01:24:25.740 I'm trying to think of an animal that I could really—

01:24:27.180 I think anything at Petco.

01:24:30.540 That's not true.

01:24:31.500 Anything that's caged at a Petco.

01:24:33.560 A pony I could beat.

01:24:35.040 Pony?

01:24:36.000 Oh, I don't know.

01:24:36.520 Those small ponies are quick.

01:24:38.040 No, ponies are fast.

01:24:40.280 That's a good question.

01:24:41.320 What's a good animal I could beat?

01:24:42.380 Probably something that's been using.

01:24:44.000 Yeah, what animals—

01:24:45.520 Can we see what animals run beneath 10 miles per hour?

01:24:51.500 Yeah.

01:24:51.960 Because I think I could run 10 miles an hour for a minute 30.

01:24:55.660 So I don't know what that math is, but I could do that.

01:24:58.620 Many animals run below 10 miles per hour.

01:25:00.260 Sloths, giant tortoises, koalas, banana slugs, snails.

01:25:03.720 Oh, these all suck.

01:25:05.440 First of all, what the hell's under the manatees?

01:25:07.500 What the hell's a woodcock?

01:25:09.320 Yeah, I'll fight a woodcock.

01:25:10.760 What is that?

01:25:13.380 I don't know.

01:25:13.940 That's a good question.

01:25:15.040 That's who should be starting the OF in the military.

01:25:17.960 American woodcock.

01:25:19.300 Oh, yeah.

01:25:19.840 I'll race that thing.

01:25:21.640 Look at the fucking beer belly on that thing.

01:25:23.820 Oh, yeah.

01:25:25.080 You need to lay out the loggers.

01:25:26.260 I'll race the balls off of that little midget.

01:25:29.460 I'll race the balls off that little air twink.

01:25:32.400 Look at that thing.

01:25:33.420 I'll fucking—

01:25:35.320 Bro, I'll surf some seed right out of my fucking wiener to that thing.

01:25:39.220 I don't know how—

01:25:39.660 Dude, would you let that thing fucking reach into your wiener to get a piece of seed?

01:25:43.080 Look at that.

01:25:44.240 Look at that spout on him.

01:25:46.040 I feel like that would hurt, but if I was under anesthesia, I guess.

01:25:50.740 What?

01:25:51.780 Like, if I had to get a colonoscopy and they're already, like, doing that, you're like—

01:25:58.260 I'd let him fucking just sniff in there for a second and see what's going on, bro.

01:26:02.500 It's like the canary in the coal mine, you know?

01:26:05.520 Yeah, sir.

01:26:06.420 Well, I think he should be doing more kind of the gyno stuff.

01:26:09.560 Like, the contraptions they have to use to check out the insides of a woman, I mean, they seem so industrial.

01:26:15.580 They seem like they found it in a warehouse in, like, a GMC in, like, 1960s.

01:26:19.320 Like, it's like a clamp.

01:26:20.940 It also feels, like, disrespectful to the woman where they're like, yeah, we just got to go and open up in there.

01:26:25.760 This is a Trans Am?

01:26:26.980 Yeah, like, they use one of those things that they used to use to, like—

01:26:29.400 Lift your car up.

01:26:30.380 Yeah.

01:26:31.280 But, like, that's to keep a fire going, you know?

01:26:35.840 Like, sometimes they'll use, like, an accordion, you know?

01:26:38.280 I know, dude.

01:26:39.140 It's tough.

01:26:39.800 It's definitely ridiculous.

01:26:40.820 Oh, we don't need to look at all that.

01:26:42.060 That's crazy.

01:26:42.680 Well, it's also—

01:26:43.880 Yeah, that bird is kind of what it's replicating, I feel like.

01:26:47.340 That bird does the gynos of the nest.

01:26:49.240 That bird's a party bird.

01:26:50.780 Yeah.

01:26:51.580 Did you see the—

01:26:53.080 You saw 6ix9ine is going to the same prison as Maduro.

01:26:56.480 Did you see that?

01:26:57.060 He's in there with Luigi, Diddy, Maduro.

01:27:00.600 I don't know if that's true, but I saw it on a meme.

01:27:03.280 That's crazy.

01:27:05.120 But I guess it makes sense to keep them all in the same prison.

01:27:07.020 Let me see what this 6ix9ine and Maduro is in the same cell.

01:27:09.440 Arrested President Maduro and his wife.

01:27:12.820 That's crazy, right?

01:27:15.240 All right, so it's a mad thing.

01:27:16.940 So I got the call.

01:27:18.460 I love how he's doing PR for jail.

01:27:20.300 He's doing a podcast run to promote jail.

01:27:22.520 Somebody texted me saying that they think that when they send me to prison on Tuesday,

01:27:32.040 me and Maduro is going to be in the same unit.

01:27:34.260 But do you think he's going to prison for PR?

01:27:36.860 Like, why is he even—what is he going—what charges is he there for?

01:27:39.620 That's a great question.

01:27:40.460 What charges is he there for?

01:27:41.520 I wonder if he'd be a good guest whenever he gets out, you think?

01:27:43.680 Yeah, have you ever met him?

01:27:45.380 Mm-mm.

01:27:46.300 I never met him.

01:27:49.260 Rapper Tekashi69 has faced various charges, primarily stemming from his association with

01:27:53.980 the Nine Trey Bloods.

01:27:56.080 Uh, what's he going to jail for right now?

01:27:59.540 Oh, um, and jail sentence in early 2026.

01:28:04.240 Received another three-month sentence for new violations, including having cocaine and

01:28:07.300 ecstasy in his Miami home and punching a man who taunted him.

01:28:10.580 Well, sometimes you got to do that.

01:28:13.480 But damn, yeah, I think it could be interesting just to see what his life is like and stuff.

01:28:18.480 They should give him, like, a Twitch stream from jail.

01:28:21.380 Yeah.

01:28:22.100 If he's on a run here.

01:28:23.360 That'd be wild.

01:28:23.900 Well, I just feel like everything's going to start merging.

01:28:25.780 They're going to have to start funding.

01:28:26.900 Like, if the government can't keep things going, they're going to—everything is going

01:28:30.880 to have to be started—be funded kind of privately or by people or by, like, you know,

01:28:35.380 so I wouldn't be surprised if he started to see, like, Twitch streams from jail.

01:28:37.980 I wouldn't be surprised if he started to see, like, um, the army, uh, or the military

01:28:43.360 start to, like, have stream or have, um, content, right?

01:28:47.500 Like, I just think that that stuff's going to kind of grow a lot, you know?

01:28:50.200 Like, I'll be on TikTok live just—and it'll just pop up.

01:28:52.480 And there's, like, always—and if you're chronically online, you've seen this—on TikTok,

01:28:56.420 they'll just show, like, a bar.

01:28:57.840 Like, it's just, like, behind the bartender, and he's just working, and there's just a bar.

01:29:02.440 Yeah.

01:29:02.860 For what?

01:29:04.040 And they're, like, monetizing that.

01:29:05.340 They're just showing security camera of places.

01:29:07.540 Yeah.

01:29:07.980 And just getting money from it.

01:29:09.560 Oh, dude, I used to watch, like, uh, these, like, in, like, different funerals from different

01:29:14.380 countries.

01:29:14.860 Like, you could watch, like, Indian funerals and stuff, and they'd have streams of it,

01:29:17.880 and, like, on YouTube or, like, just long clips of it.

01:29:20.020 Yeah.

01:29:20.500 You could just watch.

01:29:21.180 Like, it's neat to have kind of, like, a—just, like, a thing you can just watch.

01:29:26.040 It just blows my mind, like, the effect of live.

01:29:27.760 Like, if somebody was like, hey, here's a 20-minute video, I bet I don't want to watch that,

01:29:30.800 but they're like, here's a stream, you'll end up watching 20 minutes, like, in the blink of an eye.

01:29:34.680 Well, let's go a little bit more into that prison.

01:29:36.100 Who else was in there?

01:29:36.960 Who else has been in there?

01:29:38.520 Is there any articles on it?

01:29:39.620 Is Hezboula in there?

01:29:41.080 Hall of Fame—

01:29:42.100 Was he in or out of jail?

01:29:43.900 He's got those RICO charges.

01:29:45.740 Hezboula?

01:29:46.240 Yeah, doesn't he?

01:29:46.760 He has a twin sister.

01:29:47.520 You know that?

01:29:47.900 No, I didn't know this.

01:29:50.820 Hezboula has a twin sister.

01:29:53.220 Yes, Hezboula Magomedov was arrested in his native Dagestan in May 2023 for traffic violations.

01:29:58.600 Of course.

01:30:00.140 And he—

01:30:00.600 He couldn't reach the pedals.

01:30:01.960 Yeah, what are we even talking about?

01:30:04.120 Including blocking a road and doing donuts with friends while celebrating a wedding.

01:30:10.000 Bro, put him in a Waymo and call it a day.

01:30:11.820 First of all, you have to know that if he gets into a car, he just shut the road down for a couple minutes.

01:30:19.800 Unless it's a Fisher-Price, what car was he whipping in?

01:30:22.500 He was released under house arrest after being granted bail and had to wear an ankle monitor around his neck.

01:30:27.980 No way.

01:30:30.060 They just turned him into a Rottweiler.

01:30:33.180 Do you think being on house arrest—

01:30:34.640 He made that part up.

01:30:35.560 He later apologized for the incident, stating he wasn't driving and promised it wouldn't happen again.

01:30:40.220 I love that in their country, there's such a code of honor, you can just at least promise that it won't happen again.

01:30:45.480 That's awesome.

01:30:46.460 I mean, do you think being on a house arrest as a smaller person is, like, nice?

01:30:51.720 I bet it's kind of nice, especially for a busy guy like him, because he gets—you know, he just gets a little bit of time to himself.

01:30:56.560 How is Sharpton's locked up?

01:30:58.600 Notable inmates that have been held at MDC Brooklyn.

01:31:01.360 Oh, oh, oh, have been.

01:31:02.600 Metropolitan Detention Center in Brooklyn has gained significant notoriety for housing and an unusually high concentration of high-profile federal defendants,

01:31:10.560 including Maduro, Luigi Mangione, Diddy, R. Kelly, Sam Bankman-Fried, Chap El Chapo, Michael Cohen, Ghislaine Maxwell, Martin Shkreli, and Al Sharpton.

01:31:25.420 Wow.

01:31:26.000 Did you carry a Sam Bankman-Fried?

01:31:27.960 Sam Bankman-Fried.

01:31:28.800 I just thought it was funny that he named his, like, his two last names were the two things that he was.

01:31:33.940 He was, like, this bank man, and then he was also fried all the time.

01:31:37.120 It's right there.

01:31:37.600 So to me, it was, like, the most perfect, like—

01:31:39.560 He's in jail for—

01:31:41.400 What did he do again?

01:31:42.660 He might be out now.

01:31:44.200 Sam Bankman—

01:31:44.660 I think he's still in there.

01:31:45.420 —was convicted and sentenced to 25 years in prison while for orchestrating Mastiff fraud at his crypto exchange, FTC,

01:31:51.080 found guilty of seven counts, including wire fraud, conspiracy to commit fraud.

01:31:55.440 Yep, he's in there.

01:31:56.360 So he'll be in there for a while.

01:31:57.640 I feel like the NFT people are kind of—like, NFTs got so swept under the rug,

01:32:00.800 but there were so many people who pulled massive money from that and just kind of—

01:32:05.280 They made, like, NFC, like, clubs, and NFC, like—

01:32:08.040 And then that all just disappeared.

01:32:09.540 Yeah, and nobody talks about it.

01:32:10.760 Did you see the new—this is the new way that they're thinking that incarceration could happen?

01:32:16.080 This is with AI and technology.

01:32:17.520 This is fascinating.

01:32:18.940 See if you can find that story of the pods.

01:32:21.400 What is this?

01:32:22.060 Yes, the future of incarceration.

01:32:24.320 This is no longer about us, honestly.

01:32:26.280 I think it's too late, but it's about our generations to come.

01:32:28.980 Your children, your grandchildren, your great-grandchildren.

01:32:31.880 There is a company called Cognify.

01:32:34.160 If you Google it and watch their video, and it's the future of incarceration is what it's titled.

01:32:38.660 With this Cognify system, let's say you do a crime, or maybe you act out against the government,

01:32:43.960 or you have a belief system that is not consistent with the country that you live in,

01:32:48.040 and you are prosecuted for a crime by their definition.

01:32:51.720 You will then get an opportunity to choose.

01:32:53.860 Let's just use this for hypothetical.

01:32:55.800 A measly petty theft.

01:32:57.140 You can spend 50 years in prison, or you can go through the Cognify process,

01:33:01.720 which in three minutes, they will imprint memory sets.

01:33:04.840 So let's say there was someone who was even harmed by the crime that you did.

01:33:07.380 You will be able to feel the emotions of your victim,

01:33:10.580 the emotions that the family members went through, all of that.

01:33:13.240 You will be forced to have the empathy.

01:33:15.500 And you will feel like you've been imprisoned for 25 years, or whatever it may be,

01:33:19.940 but it's only three minutes.

01:33:21.740 Fuck that.

01:33:22.440 They need that shit for when my girlfriend comes up to me after she had her period the next day

01:33:26.500 and goes, I'm so sorry about last night.

01:33:27.980 I'm on my period.

01:33:29.020 Okay, well, you need to feel what I was feeling last night for getting yelled at.

01:33:32.060 Get into the Cognify machine.

01:33:33.120 But, dude, eventually if they have an at-home one, that'd be crazy.

01:33:36.340 But this is saying—

01:33:37.580 This is like reverse ice bathing.

01:33:39.140 Like, sit in this and feel awful about yourself.

01:33:41.240 But this is saying that if you did a crime, and if you could have—

01:33:44.460 I'm guessing it's probably going to be something you'd have to afford.

01:33:46.500 If you could afford Cognify, then you'd be able to go and serve your sentence in Cognify.

01:33:52.040 You would have all the things that would really feel like in your brain had happened.

01:33:55.780 And in five minutes, you could do 20 years.

01:33:58.760 That's so fascinating because, like, one, you could pay off the guy who hits the buttons.

01:34:03.700 And then he's like, all right, here we go.

01:34:04.940 And you're like, oh, ooh, ow.

01:34:06.580 It's hurting.

01:34:07.360 Well, I mean, I think—

01:34:08.660 Here it says, Cognify is a futuristic prison concept proposed by scientist Hashim Al-Gai.

01:34:16.380 He's the newest member of FaZe Clan, by the way.

01:34:18.660 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:34:20.140 That uses AI and brain implants to replace long sentences with brief, intense rehabilitation.

01:34:25.020 So it's almost like an EMDR, but extremely deep into your brain.

01:34:29.180 AI-generated memories, artificial vivid memories are created by AI to simulate the impact of a crime on victims.

01:34:34.840 Dude, this would be crazy.

01:34:36.540 Inmates experience years of remorse and understanding in a short time allowing for quicker release and reintegration.

01:34:41.780 I mean, it kind of makes sense because that's what you're supposed to be there for.

01:34:46.420 I just wonder how long would that stay, you know?

01:34:48.980 And what if you just go into prison for, like, a little while and it's just a bunch of—you don't learn anything.

01:34:53.560 It's just a bunch of dudes that's run a train on you or whatever.

01:34:56.480 That would be my scary thing.

01:34:57.520 That's what I'm saying.

01:34:57.560 Like, you use that for three minutes and now you're just limping.

01:35:00.260 Yeah, dude.

01:35:00.760 What if you get out and you're like—and then your wife lies.

01:35:03.100 She's like, yeah, I left while you were gone.

01:35:04.640 You were gone so long.

01:35:05.620 You're like—

01:35:06.480 I was gone for two songs on Spotify.

01:35:08.540 Yeah, dude.

01:35:09.080 Well, that's the interesting part is like—

01:35:10.500 What the fuck?

01:35:11.260 And your son's like, yeah, we have a new stepdad.

01:35:13.220 You're like, what?

01:35:15.340 Bro, that would be the scary thing is what if they just bring you back and like, oh, yeah, man,

01:35:19.420 you just got a couple of MS-13 guys got a hold of you and now you're like El Gay or whatever, you know?

01:35:25.940 And that would be the scariest part to me, bro.

01:35:28.660 But the crazy part is like if they're doing this in three minutes, it's like you leave your house at 10 a.m.

01:35:32.460 You're like, oh, I committed this crime.

01:35:34.480 I'm so sorry.

01:35:35.260 You come back.

01:35:36.200 You're back at noon and all of a sudden you have all the remorse for, you know, burning down an Arby's.

01:35:41.060 And now you're like, oh, I didn't think the fry cook was still in there.

01:35:45.040 And like now you just have this feeling of regret the rest of your life, but you still have the rest of your life to like—

01:35:50.560 Yeah, but I think the shortcut—

01:35:52.780 It'll be a shortcut, and I think it'll be for people that can afford it because here's what you'll be able to do.

01:35:56.520 People will—the Arby's family, they'll have some sort of like other part of it that's like an attorney part of it where it's like, okay,

01:36:03.340 you can make due right now.

01:36:04.800 You can pay restitution.

01:36:06.180 You burn down the Arby's.

01:36:07.300 You killed two—you know, a fry cook and someone in the drive-thru refused to leave without their order,

01:36:12.840 even though the place was burning down, and one other counterperson.

01:36:16.180 So—

01:36:16.480 You can settle out of court with them all right now for $300,000, and then it's just going to be like this fast-track thing.

01:36:23.340 It's like, yeah, you're off the hook, and you feel the remorse, and you keep living.

01:36:27.700 So if you shoot someone, would you feel that person's pain?

01:36:33.840 I think they just want you to feel the—so you would feel the pain of their family members and stuff.

01:36:37.300 Like, that they would have ways that they could embed that into you.

01:36:40.180 Yeah, that would fuck you up.

01:36:41.660 I mean, both of those would fuck you up for life.

01:36:43.220 But what if you do like tax fraud?

01:36:44.160 It should fuck you up.

01:36:44.660 Who's pain is that?

01:36:44.960 You killed some people at an Arby's.

01:36:46.300 You shouldn't just—

01:36:46.940 Right, right, right.

01:36:47.760 Right.

01:36:48.020 It should fuck you up.

01:36:48.900 Yeah, you shouldn't be off-scot-free.

01:36:51.560 So how would that work with like tax fraud?

01:36:54.720 Like who—the government's—no.

01:36:59.080 That's a good point.

01:36:59.800 Maybe they wouldn't allow it for certain crimes.

01:37:01.420 Or if they would be able to get the money back from you.

01:37:05.140 I'm not sure.

01:37:05.640 That's a good question.

01:37:06.380 How fast would they do it?

01:37:08.200 I feel like—I don't know.

01:37:11.140 That's crazy.

01:37:12.460 Yeah.

01:37:12.960 But they probably are finding ways to speed up prison sentences but still have the same effects.

01:37:17.620 Well, it seems kind of archaic the way that we do it.

01:37:20.120 Kind of.

01:37:20.300 It's like this guy's in there for 50 years.

01:37:21.860 Nothing ever has.

01:37:22.700 It's like he goes through all these boards and it's never, you know—

01:37:26.060 So long.

01:37:26.840 And it's just like such a drain on the system.

01:37:29.020 It's just—I'd love to find out more about that.

01:37:31.080 Like, because I know a lot of it is just like some kind of money laundering thing, you know?

01:37:34.660 Yeah.

01:37:35.020 Have you ever been to a prison?

01:37:38.740 I don't think I have.

01:37:39.580 I've been in a jail.

01:37:40.900 What's the difference?

01:37:41.680 I've never been to a prison.

01:37:42.660 A jail is just like a little gay-ass prison.

01:37:44.660 Nobody's even getting gayed out or whatever in it.

01:37:47.100 It's just people waiting for lunch and shit.

01:37:48.720 People waiting for dick.

01:37:51.000 Jails are local short-term facilities for those awaiting trial or serving sentences.

01:37:54.780 You can't even find a gang in a jail.

01:37:56.320 You know?

01:37:57.160 You can find like one dude that'll like—

01:37:59.640 Like a pen pal to another gang.

01:38:02.060 Yeah.

01:38:02.380 You can find one dude who might fucking slip half a Hershey's under your door at night or whatever.

01:38:08.380 But there's no long-term institution there.

01:38:10.340 Those are more for prisons.

01:38:12.240 Yeah, because they do like so many like tours.

01:38:14.100 Like when you go to different cities and you want to see like where Elvis lives or something.

01:38:16.740 Like I think they should tour jails for income.

01:38:18.820 Like I'm just curious what's going on in there.

01:38:20.600 Like I want to do an episode of Scared Straight, but like—

01:38:24.320 But I just want to see what's going on.

01:38:26.020 Like I'm just curious.

01:38:26.900 Yeah.

01:38:27.020 Like if there was a jail live stream on Twitch, I would watch every day.

01:38:30.200 It's just like it's—

01:38:31.060 Yeah.

01:38:31.080 You never hear about anything there.

01:38:32.800 So to watch it, it almost feels illegal.

01:38:35.580 Well, there's a lot of shows about it now that people—

01:38:37.380 I mean people are into those types of—into that type of viewing I think for sure, dude.

01:38:40.820 I don't know if I'd be good in jail, dude.

01:38:42.400 I wouldn't.

01:38:43.380 No?

01:38:43.840 I'd fucking hate it.

01:38:44.680 Unless my cellmate like had an—we could start a little band or something.

01:38:48.340 I don't think I would be that good in there.

01:38:50.140 If I had something to look forward to as like a group or whatever.

01:38:52.740 Yeah.

01:38:53.760 What would you do if you got approached by gang members?

01:38:57.440 I'd have to join.

01:38:58.560 Yeah.

01:38:59.100 What are you going to say?

01:38:59.560 You could say let me think about it for a day or two.

01:39:01.160 But they're only going to probably give you two days.

01:39:02.680 Yeah, I would treat it like I was a record label and I was a rapper.

01:39:05.940 I'm just seeing what other offers I get.

01:39:08.520 I think I would blind myself for something.

01:39:10.380 So nobody's going to hurt a blind guy I think.

01:39:12.380 Dude, I feel like unfortunately that's the number one target.

01:39:16.920 Because you can't snitch.

01:39:17.920 So like what did he feel like?

01:39:19.240 Knuckles.

01:39:20.480 Yeah.

01:39:21.100 Well, I don't know.

01:39:22.560 I don't know.

01:39:24.060 That'd be scary to me.

01:39:25.840 Because—

01:39:26.480 I don't know, man.

01:39:30.480 I guess, yeah, you'd have to join a gang.

01:39:32.280 I would probably go Mexican gang.

01:39:34.060 I feel like it might be—the food might be better.

01:39:36.120 I don't know.

01:39:36.420 I don't know if black gangs are making food in there.

01:39:38.840 I don't know.

01:39:39.760 What's the worst gang to join in there?

01:39:43.260 Prison gangs in the United States.

01:39:45.940 Aryan Brotherhood, Black Guerrilla Mafia, Mexican Mafia, La Nuestra Familia, Texas Syndicate.

01:39:51.160 That sounds kind of like new and novel.

01:39:52.820 All these sound like a really good NFL league.

01:39:55.640 And the netas.

01:39:56.320 For the XFL.

01:39:57.220 Oh, yeah.

01:39:57.880 All versus—

01:39:58.640 If they bring the XFL back, start with these teams.

01:40:00.740 The Tennessee type shit, dude.

01:40:02.280 Put them in there.

01:40:04.860 The Tennessee fightings.

01:40:06.760 Dude, they should have more—they got to start putting these people into teams, doing something.

01:40:11.820 There's got to be a better way to—

01:40:13.080 It's all going to happen, man.

01:40:14.180 Everything's merging.

01:40:15.020 Everything's getting weird.

01:40:15.860 Yes, it's all becoming Long John Silvers and Baskin Robbins, dude.

01:40:19.120 There's no—it's all becoming the Army fans.

01:40:21.480 It's all starting to merge.

01:40:22.840 We're going to start to see this kind of stuff a lot, you know?

01:40:24.880 But I think they should take all the inmates and, like, give them some athletic thing to look forward to.

01:40:29.700 And then they can stream it.

01:40:30.780 It's like, I would absolutely watch the Texas Syndicate versus the Puerto Ricans.

01:40:36.320 Oh, yeah.

01:40:36.760 If you had a basketball game tonight—

01:40:37.920 That's what I'm saying.

01:40:38.540 Like—

01:40:38.900 It was La Nuestra Familia versus the Arian Brotherhood at 9 p.m.

01:40:42.680 First one to 11.

01:40:44.040 No three-pointers.

01:40:45.480 Dude, I would fucking watch that in a heartbeat.

01:40:47.100 Dude, I feel like the A-B is only hitting threes.

01:40:49.080 They're not doing the work and the paint.

01:40:51.040 It beats the big three fucking league in a heartbeat.

01:40:53.840 But you should put one of these leagues into the big three league.

01:40:56.580 They got to start to just diversify.

01:40:58.200 But I'm saying, like, if these guys even just play—like, that might bring some unity.

01:41:00.920 It's like UFC.

01:41:01.640 They talk shit before the fight.

01:41:02.680 Then after the game, they, like, dap up.

01:41:04.120 They're like, I have nothing more respect for this guy.

01:41:05.380 I love this guy.

01:41:06.220 Maybe there could be some of that where, like, if they're playing each other, they're shit-talking, sure.

01:41:09.960 But afterwards, like, hey, type shit, type shit.

01:41:12.600 Type shit.

01:41:13.100 And then they could stream it, and you could watch it on, like, Rumble or wherever, Paramount Plus or something.

01:41:17.460 But, like, I feel like—

01:41:18.260 Oh, yeah.

01:41:18.640 Nick Fuentes would host it, probably.

01:41:21.200 I mean, I think he would probably do it.

01:41:24.360 Especially if it's on Rumble.

01:41:25.340 He's, like, their lead guy over there.

01:41:27.060 Yeah.

01:41:27.920 Like, there has got to be a way—because they would also probably feel like—

01:41:31.120 Imagine being in jail, but, like, every day you're training for a game on Saturday.

01:41:34.120 Like, you have something to look forward to.

01:41:35.460 I agree.

01:41:36.020 That's the kind of stuff you need in there.

01:41:37.620 Even though you're a murderer, you still, like, yeah.

01:41:39.980 Murder them threes, bitch.

01:41:41.240 Yeah.

01:41:41.480 Boom.

01:41:42.300 From downtown, because shots went in downtown.

01:41:44.840 He's a killer, yeah.

01:41:45.960 Shots fired.

01:41:46.720 That's one of his names.

01:41:47.740 Dude, they'd have cool-ass names, too.

01:41:50.460 Stabby for three.

01:41:51.580 Yeah.

01:41:52.900 Ooh.

01:41:54.120 Like, Bobby Lee always makes that sound.

01:41:58.520 Before we get out of here—

01:41:59.780 You have a special coming out.

01:42:01.140 I'm shooting one in March.

01:42:02.100 I'm shooting a special March 13th and 14th in Arizona.

01:42:04.500 In Phoenix.

01:42:05.140 Yeah, in Phoenix.

01:42:05.920 Nice.

01:42:06.300 Super excited.

01:42:07.840 It's going to be sick.

01:42:08.580 Phoenix is just a great comedy town.

01:42:09.680 I'm really excited.

01:42:10.160 I might go shoot my special there, maybe.

01:42:11.980 It's not a bad idea.

01:42:12.880 It's a great city.

01:42:13.800 It's a great city.

01:42:15.220 It's—I mean, you're out here now, but, like, it's so close to L.A.

01:42:18.720 And I've just never—some states, like, I'll say Ohio's a hit or miss state for me.

01:42:24.620 Sometimes you're like, this is the best show of my life.

01:42:26.080 I'm a special.

01:42:26.460 Or you're like, cool, give me to the top of La Quinta with cement shoes.

01:42:30.700 Yeah.

01:42:30.880 So, you're, like, always in between.

01:42:33.300 I am on tour right now.

01:42:34.160 I'm doing the Ryman tomorrow.

01:42:35.520 If you want to do a spot, I would love to have you on there.

01:42:37.460 I'd be sick as fuck.

01:42:38.520 Yeah, man.

01:42:38.960 Maybe I'll pop out.

01:42:39.740 I haven't been on stage in a while.

01:42:40.800 Really?

01:42:41.180 Yeah.

01:42:41.560 Dude, I mean, the crowd would just literally nut 28 miles per hour to see you do five minutes.

01:42:47.580 All right.

01:42:48.180 But Phoenix—

01:42:48.980 All right.

01:42:49.060 I'll come out.

01:42:49.560 I'll come out.

01:42:50.200 Yeah.

01:42:50.420 And then I'm doing the Wiltern, which I opened for you at the Wiltern a couple years ago.

01:42:53.680 That's a great, great spot.

01:42:56.640 Yeah, I'm doing a bunch.

01:42:57.860 I have, like, 30—

01:42:58.480 You got Ventura, Cleveland.

01:42:59.640 You got a lot of good spots.

01:43:00.460 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:43:00.920 All of California.

01:43:01.860 I'm doing Reno.

01:43:02.780 I'm doing—

01:43:03.220 I'm doing a lot of places I've never done before, like Oakland, Reno, Memphis, Fresno,

01:43:07.400 Bakersfield, San Luis Obispo, Sacramento.

01:43:09.400 You guys got to go see them, man.

01:43:10.440 It's a great—

01:43:11.100 It's just entertaining.

01:43:12.360 It's fun, man.

01:43:12.680 It's great energy, the whole set.

01:43:14.920 Yeah, dude.

01:43:15.800 You're so great up there, bro.

01:43:17.320 Make sure to send me this, too, so I can share it on socials, too, whenever after today

01:43:21.520 or after this episode goes up.

01:43:22.820 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:43:24.320 Please, that'd be awesome, man.

01:43:25.180 And your tour is called Trevor Wallace Presents Alpha Beta Male?

01:43:28.440 Alpha Beta Male.

01:43:29.220 Yeah, just because I feel like my brain is split in between, like, being this, like, alpha

01:43:32.780 male versus, like, this beta male.

01:43:34.080 It's like, yeah, I find just more kind of unity between both of them, and I feel like

01:43:37.480 every decision I make has, like, an alpha side versus a beta side in me.

01:43:40.780 It's not, like, one of those, like, red pill, blue pill type shows, but it is just,

01:43:44.320 like, a funny thing to be like, people are, are you this, are you that?

01:43:47.400 I'm like, I feel like I'm kind of in between.

01:43:49.280 Yeah.

01:43:50.340 A lot of fun out there.

01:43:51.020 Yeah, dude.

01:43:51.340 I think it also happens as you grow up a little bit, too.

01:43:54.100 It's like you kind of get two sides of it, you know?

01:43:56.760 It's like, you know, there's days when you're like, you know, yeah, it's always, it used

01:44:00.900 to be like, I'm busting out wherever, you know what I'm saying?

01:44:03.340 I'm busting out at this fucking party or whatever.

01:44:05.440 I'm like, what the fuck, you know?

01:44:07.260 Yeah.

01:44:07.620 You know?

01:44:08.380 Dude, I remember I went to a one-year-old's birthday party.

01:44:11.800 This is at a time when, like, you know, when I was dealing with sobering and relapsing.

01:44:16.700 I went to a one-year-old's birthday party and ended up buying cocaine there somehow.

01:44:21.280 From the one-year-old?

01:44:22.140 No, from an adult.

01:44:23.420 They're like, blow out the candles, and you hear the word blow, and you're like, where?

01:44:27.320 Yeah, I don't know.

01:44:27.920 I just got to show you.

01:44:28.860 Anything can happen out there, man.

01:44:30.620 Yeah, I just feel like my brain has, like, it's more so, like, there's a second-guessing

01:44:36.000 element to almost everything that I do, where it's, like, the example I say on stage is,

01:44:40.180 like, I've had this thought before, like, I wanted to, like, spit in a girl's mouth,

01:44:43.300 but then another thought was, like, but what if I miss?

01:44:45.360 Yeah.

01:44:45.980 But, like, that's not how dirty talk works.

01:44:47.720 That's not, like, how being hot in the bed works.

01:44:49.380 It's, like, you just do it.

01:44:51.160 Yes, you have to be that, yeah.

01:44:52.260 You have to be present, but, you know, it's, like, or I'm, like, scared to, like, slap a girl's

01:44:55.740 ass in the bed because I'm, like, sometimes you don't get the pop.

01:44:59.100 Oh, I hate that.

01:44:59.780 You get the dud.

01:45:00.620 Yeah.

01:45:01.060 Sounds like you're just trying to get the dog on the couch, like, and for me, I'm trying

01:45:03.840 to, like, so I overthink everything.

01:45:06.320 It's so embarrassing, too, when you get this dud.

01:45:08.040 It's because they hear it.

01:45:09.040 They hear it, too.

01:45:10.020 Yeah.

01:45:10.560 Then a good person you're dating won't address it.

01:45:13.800 A bitch will be, like, the fuck?

01:45:18.320 Or that's when you have to yell out, that was loud, huh?

01:45:21.440 Yeah.

01:45:22.640 Or that's when you yell out, be like, you probably need some lotion.

01:45:25.640 It's a little dry back here.

01:45:26.760 Yeah, damn.

01:45:27.600 Or you do what, like, dads do when they're, like, moving into a house, and they're just,

01:45:30.480 start checking, like, how's this, the structure?

01:45:33.900 Yeah.

01:45:34.520 The getting a dud is, is, but, like, but literally, that's all my thought process is, is, like,

01:45:38.840 there's a part of my brain that's, like, slap ass.

01:45:41.000 But then the other parts, it's, like, what if you get a dud?

01:45:43.500 Yeah.

01:45:43.760 What if you miss a little, you get a little fire, you hit that bone?

01:45:46.680 That's the craziest.

01:45:47.660 That's assault.

01:45:48.600 Yeah.

01:45:49.000 It's literally assault.

01:45:50.300 Yeah, dude.

01:45:51.180 And then, you're like, how am I going to bust at 27 miles an hour now?

01:45:55.220 And then it comes out, like, 12 miles an hour.

01:45:57.260 It's, dude, I'm, like, I'm probably the most, one of the most in-my-head guys I can be.

01:46:01.180 And I just, like, once I start thinking about that, like, and this is more graphic, but

01:46:05.940 we're, like, pretty deep into the podcast.

01:46:08.200 If I start thinking, oh, no, I'm not going to be able to bust, then I can't.

01:46:12.100 It's all mental for me.

01:46:13.800 Like, if a girl even says, like, are you going to be able to, then it's out the window.

01:46:17.820 Because now it's all I'm thinking about.

01:46:19.380 Or if I get too hot, I got to run to the fucking sink like a little gopher.

01:46:23.280 Oh, if the AC comes on or whatever?

01:46:25.520 Oh, yeah.

01:46:26.000 Well, the AC is a little G-A-Y blown on your back.

01:46:28.640 Well, the fan on, people who could come with the fan on, I thought, those are Navy SEALs, dude.

01:46:34.140 Anybody who can have-

01:46:34.880 Probably Air Force.

01:46:35.620 Yeah, I've said this on stage.

01:46:37.100 Like, anybody who can have sex with a fan on is a fucking-

01:46:40.920 Yeah, that's Air Force, dude.

01:46:42.700 Bro, you deserve to have an OnlyFans and support our country.

01:46:46.300 Why would you want to make the room colder to now?

01:46:48.840 Like, that's going to make things probably smaller, I'm guessing.

01:46:51.760 Oh, but it's just crazy to have.

01:46:53.520 Just anybody who could have sex with a fan on is insane.

01:46:56.360 It's literally like a cuck situation.

01:46:57.860 Because you're like, who's this other man in the room?

01:46:59.380 Oh, yeah, it's a ceiling fan.

01:47:01.080 Yeah.

01:47:01.640 Yeah, I couldn't do it.

01:47:02.540 Not for me.

01:47:02.840 A lot of pressure, dude.

01:47:04.140 But I do that with everything.

01:47:05.460 Career-wise, I overthink everything.

01:47:07.560 But it helps you do.

01:47:08.540 You're meticulous.

01:47:09.200 That's what it is.

01:47:09.860 Yeah, it is.

01:47:10.280 And it keeps you where you are.

01:47:11.560 And it's like, you know, your career started off so hot.

01:47:14.580 And a lot of times, you see guys like that, and it's hard for them to figure it out, you know?

01:47:18.180 How long were you doing content before you got into stand-up?

01:47:20.040 I was doing stand-up first.

01:47:21.140 Right.

01:47:21.680 Oh, you were?

01:47:22.560 Yeah.

01:47:22.780 But, like, maybe...

01:47:24.820 But you've still only been doing it now, like, what, seven years?

01:47:27.400 Ten.

01:47:27.840 Oh, have you really?

01:47:28.540 Yeah.

01:47:28.860 Oh, fuck, I'm losing every...

01:47:29.840 No, no, you're good, man.

01:47:30.780 You're good.

01:47:31.100 I don't know why you'd know that.

01:47:35.560 How is everything going with Busboys?

01:47:37.460 Busboys is good, dude.

01:47:38.880 It's going to come out in a couple of weeks.

01:47:40.820 Oh, no.

01:47:41.320 It's going to come out in a couple of months.

01:47:43.140 Really?

01:47:43.420 So I think we're going to go into theaters.

01:47:44.920 Oh, fuck yeah.

01:47:45.540 And then it looks like, and we're figuring that out right now, and then we'll probably

01:47:49.240 go direct-to-consumer, just direct-to-people.

01:47:51.720 Any streamer?

01:47:52.680 I don't know.

01:47:53.320 That probably happens after you go theaters and then a buyer.

01:47:56.300 We'll see.

01:47:57.160 I think it's also you have to present to them when it's fully done and show them what

01:48:00.280 it looks like, you know?

01:48:01.480 So it's been a long...

01:48:03.000 It's been a learning curve.

01:48:04.280 It's been a lot.

01:48:05.640 It's been a lot of stuff.

01:48:06.620 You realize it's like, oh, this is a big undertaking.

01:48:09.620 But I realize it could be a lot easier next time.

01:48:12.960 Yeah.

01:48:13.120 And we had a lot of things that were in the way and made things tough, too.

01:48:17.460 Like the fires, moved everything at the last minute by a week, and just all these little

01:48:20.700 things that change everything.

01:48:22.620 But learned a ton.

01:48:23.900 Self-financed it.

01:48:24.960 We made it ourselves, you know?

01:48:26.240 And wrote it ourselves and completely like...

01:48:28.940 So that part, I think I feel really excited about.

01:48:31.940 And I think it should be...

01:48:32.900 I think it's good.

01:48:33.740 I'm just...

01:48:34.260 You know, you've seen it so many times, you're like, I don't even know what's going

01:48:36.740 on here.

01:48:37.740 You're in it.

01:48:38.560 I'm in it.

01:48:39.200 I'm so...

01:48:40.200 It's been so long.

01:48:40.880 I'm so happy that I got a tap for that.

01:48:43.460 I watched the full thing.

01:48:45.140 And it's like, I think the storyline is so there.

01:48:47.840 It's like...

01:48:49.040 It's dumb to say, but you're like, yeah, this is a movie.

01:48:52.980 It's not like somebody who tried to make a movie.

01:48:54.620 It's like, this is a movie.

01:48:55.600 Like, this is a start-to-finish movie.

01:48:57.120 Yeah.

01:48:57.280 And the storyline, I was impressed.

01:48:59.340 It was...

01:48:59.780 It's...

01:49:00.020 It's not groundbreaking, but it also was our first time doing it.

01:49:02.760 It was like, we had to make sure that this piece matches with this piece.

01:49:05.720 But I do think it moves quick and it was funny.

01:49:07.660 Yeah.

01:49:07.780 It was a lot of great cameos and stuff in it.

01:49:09.460 I love the cameos.

01:49:09.900 The cameos are great, man.

01:49:11.000 And it's...

01:49:12.060 But yeah, it's like, even when I saw the trailer, Spade showed me at the improv between

01:49:16.540 all of his Raya matches, but he showed me...

01:49:18.980 No, he does.

01:49:20.480 No.

01:49:21.420 No, he does.

01:49:22.200 He's got them.

01:49:22.740 But even the trailer, like, as dumb as this sounds, I'm like, dude, this is a movie trailer.

01:49:28.640 Yeah.

01:49:28.960 Like, even if I had...

01:49:32.960 I don't even know.

01:49:33.780 Like, I could just be a random guy or at the Radio Shack and I watch it, I'm like, dude,

01:49:36.440 this fucking movie looks sick.

01:49:37.680 Right.

01:49:37.980 Like, it feels everything like a movie.

01:49:40.300 So any doubt you have, just because I know you're very...

01:49:44.340 Like, you know what I think a lot.

01:49:45.700 Yeah.

01:49:46.220 I don't want to slap the bone, you know?

01:49:47.540 Right.

01:49:47.820 But as an outsider perspective, you're like, dude, this is a fucking movie, movie, movie.

01:49:50.960 So, like, the fact it's going into theaters and then direct...

01:49:53.660 Like, I'm fired up.

01:49:54.900 I'm excited.

01:49:55.120 You think I should feel confident about that?

01:49:56.260 Yeah, absolutely.

01:49:57.500 Yeah, dude, there it is.

01:49:58.640 There it is.

01:49:59.320 Yeah.

01:49:59.820 It was fun.

01:50:00.380 I can't even believe it all happened.

01:50:02.180 Right.

01:50:03.100 I mean, it was a crazy time in the year and this all happened so fast.

01:50:05.960 It was like 23 days in a row we shot and it was just a fucking...

01:50:08.940 It was a lot, dude.

01:50:10.020 But you crushed it.

01:50:10.720 We got to do something again.

01:50:11.960 Please, man.

01:50:12.380 Let's get this out so we can make a new one, huh?

01:50:14.220 Type shit.

01:50:15.280 I know.

01:50:15.620 And that's the thing.

01:50:16.640 Like, you know, it's just...

01:50:17.960 I have so many ideas that I hold on to and I shoot it for so long.

01:50:20.940 By the time I go to, like, pose, I'm like, what the fuck even is this?

01:50:23.260 So, art has, like, an expiration date, it feels like, for the artist.

01:50:25.760 But it's like, once you put it out there, it's like, how you felt making it, that's how

01:50:29.560 it should be perceived a little bit.

01:50:31.580 That...

01:50:31.860 What is that book?

01:50:33.740 I'm blanking on his name.

01:50:35.280 It's a great book with the circles on it.

01:50:36.600 Rick Rubin.

01:50:37.540 Have you read that book?

01:50:38.540 Mm-mm.

01:50:39.260 What's it called?

01:50:40.600 He's great, though, huh?

01:50:41.620 He has a book and it's all about just...

01:50:43.360 Yeah.

01:50:44.040 The creative act.

01:50:44.880 Dude, I really love this book.

01:50:46.240 It's, um...

01:50:47.340 The creative act, a way of being.

01:50:48.660 I would check it out.

01:50:49.500 Have you had him on the pod?

01:50:50.540 I haven't.

01:50:51.300 He would be a great guest.

01:50:52.140 I would like to.

01:50:52.640 I see some great clips of him.

01:50:53.860 He's just...

01:50:54.320 His whole perception on art is, like, put it out and once it's out, like, you...

01:50:59.160 At one point, you love the project.

01:51:00.640 Don't let the outcome dictate how it is.

01:51:02.860 Like, when you started writing it, you loved it.

01:51:05.020 When you were creating with your friends, you loved it.

01:51:07.440 So, but I apply it to a lot of videos because at one point, when filming it or writing it

01:51:11.620 or editing or all that, I loved it.

01:51:13.300 And then if I post it and it doesn't do well, I go, ah, fuck, the video sucked.

01:51:16.200 They go, no, no, no.

01:51:16.920 But, like, I had the care for it at one point.

01:51:20.120 And it's sometimes you sit on projects for so long that you lose that care.

01:51:24.640 So, it's important to kind of put those things out before...

01:51:29.120 And it's not that you lose that care, but your life just changes.

01:51:31.800 Yeah.

01:51:32.080 And what you find funny in 2024 versus 2025 is different, so...

01:51:36.980 Yeah, sometimes it's tough to keep something going, but also, you're right, to remember,

01:51:40.360 like, man, at one time, I had so much faith in this and believed in this, and I knew it

01:51:43.740 was good, right?

01:51:45.120 Yeah.

01:51:45.440 And I still think you should.

01:51:47.280 Yeah.

01:51:47.480 I really do.

01:51:48.180 Thanks, bro.

01:51:48.880 No, I think I needed to hear something like that, too.

01:51:50.780 We're looking at some last, like, coloring scenes right now.

01:51:53.560 You're so in it, man.

01:51:54.220 You should do a small screening in Nashville and just, like, not anybody who will just

01:51:59.600 glaze, who's like, oh, fuck, Theo, like, just, like, literally, like, 30 people and

01:52:04.840 just show it and just be like, what were your takeaways?

01:52:07.420 Yeah.

01:52:07.820 What did you like?

01:52:08.540 What felt good?

01:52:09.660 What felt...

01:52:10.280 We probably need to do that soon.

01:52:11.280 Maybe we'll do one out in L.A. too, man.

01:52:12.740 Yeah, absolutely, man.

01:52:13.680 Let you know when we do it.

01:52:14.340 But, yeah, I'm super excited for that to come out.

01:52:16.160 You got the tour right now.

01:52:17.580 We'll share those on our socials as well.

01:52:20.020 That'd be awesome, man.

01:52:20.900 Yeah, I'll come out tomorrow night and do a set.

01:52:22.720 You want to do it?

01:52:23.180 Yeah.

01:52:23.660 Fuck yeah.

01:52:24.220 Who else is on the show?

01:52:25.080 Blasting?

01:52:25.940 Zach Townsend.

01:52:26.980 You know him?

01:52:27.500 Yeah, I love him.

01:52:27.660 Zach Townsend and I think John Criss is doing a set.

01:52:29.960 Yeah.

01:52:30.400 Dude, it's going to be Nashville's finest.

01:52:32.240 It's going to be, like, they're going to take a screenshot of this and put it up next

01:52:34.880 to that New York City prison post and be like, dude, they had Mom Dami in that bitch.

01:52:40.360 I don't know who's up in there.

01:52:41.600 Thanks so much for coming, bro.

01:52:42.860 Dude, always.

01:52:43.760 Yeah, congrats on everything.

01:52:44.740 Thanks for the inspiration, dude.

01:52:45.700 Yeah, you just always keep on going, dude.

01:52:47.260 You keep staying creative and it's great to see.

01:52:49.560 I'm glad we get to catch up.

01:52:50.300 Dude, that means a lot coming from you.

01:52:51.560 Like, holy shit.

01:52:52.160 But, yeah, you got no choice not to.

01:52:54.780 Let's keep it going, though.

01:52:55.680 You're giving a gift, so use it.

01:52:56.540 Hey, this is it.

01:52:57.500 God bless.

01:52:57.940 Thank you for having me in the gang gang.

01:52:59.880 Gang gang.

01:53:00.260 That was like a Nardwar sign off.

01:53:02.200 Nardwar.

01:53:02.680 That was like a Nardwar sign off.

01:53:04.060 Gang gang.

01:53:05.820 Good night, Nardwar.

01:53:07.060 We're Nardwar.

01:53:07.880 Now I'm just floating on the breeze and I feel I'm falling like these leaves.

01:53:13.900 I must be cornerstone.

01:53:17.120 Oh, but when I reach that ground, I'll share this peace of mind I found.

01:53:24.640 I can feel it in my bones, but it's gonna tell you.

01:53:30.680 Amen.

01:53:31.120 Amen.

01:53:31.240 Amen.

01:53:32.140 Amen.

This Past Weekend with Theo Von - January 12, 2026

#633 - Trevor Wallace

Episode Stats

Length

Words per Minute

Word Count

Sentence Count

Misogynist Sentences

Hate Speech Sentences

Summary

Transcript