This Past Weekend with Theo Von - April 20, 2026


#654 - Something New


Episode Stats


Length

1 hour and 8 minutes

Words per minute

165.53801

Word count

11,326

Sentence count

343

Harmful content

Misogyny

67

sentences flagged

Toxicity

176

sentences flagged

Hate speech

124

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode I talk about my trip to see Busboysmovie in theaters, spring break, bees, and the return of the Rat Tour to Lexington, KY on May 1st, 2nd and 3rd.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 my god i gotta get a haircut before a hunter shoots me this is a lot um i want to say uh
00:00:06.880 just i want to say just a message just to thank everybody um for showing up who was able to show
00:00:12.740 up and uh and check out bus boys uh in the movie theaters this weekend um it means a lot you know
00:00:21.200 uh we had just so many people that showed up and did something on social media or showed some love
00:00:27.840 there was a guy who went
00:00:30.980 he got to the theater
00:00:32.440 he was the only person there
00:00:33.960 and so he sat in there with his shirt off and watched it
00:00:36.520 which is pretty cool
00:00:38.120 my friend Richie
00:00:40.320 he's like dude I hadn't been to a movie in 8 years
00:00:42.320 and he went over there by himself
00:00:44.460 and watched and I know that was a lot of people
00:00:46.720 who I got messages from
00:00:48.600 my friend Betsy
00:00:49.780 my teachers from growing up
00:00:52.060 just so many people
00:00:54.300 family
00:00:54.900 and you guys
00:00:57.260 um who are my family also and uh and yeah just the support i just felt supported and it was just it
00:01:06.480 was it felt a little spooky to try and do it like to do something you hadn't done like and have
00:01:11.580 everybody see it like the like you know like i'm gonna be a olympic diver or whatever and then
00:01:17.660 everybody shows up for your first dive kind of shit so um anyway that might be a bad correlation
00:01:22.640 but um but yeah just thank you so much and uh i appreciate you and um and uh and i appreciate that 0.92
00:01:34.320 your support and i hope that uh in our lifetime um that i can return the favor thank you and if
00:01:40.440 you haven't gotten to see it uh busboysmovie.com it's expanding to more theaters i believe and so
00:01:45.920 you can check it out there and if not it'll be somewhere where you can watch it online uh after
00:01:50.140 that. And yeah, thank you so much. Also, Lexington, Kentucky, the home of Paul Revere, baby. I'm
00:02:01.500 coming back for three shows, one on Friday, May 1st, and then two shows on Saturday, May 2nd.
00:02:08.800 That's the return of the Rat Tour. And I think that's the end. That'll be the end of it. I hope
00:02:15.340 to see you there. You can get tickets only at TheoVon.com slash T-O-U-R. Gang, gang, baby. Buzz,
00:02:24.660 buzz, baby. It's springtime. You know, I talk about springtime a lot, you know, because it's
00:02:32.360 a time kind of for something new. And the bees, you see them bees out there. And them bees, baby,
00:02:41.380 then things they you know i saw a bee the other day because they're out there pollinating
00:02:46.560 and they're pollinating bro and that's when they're basically uh you know what i'm saying
00:02:54.240 they out there you know they listening to cardi b they're doing they're out there they're out there
00:03:00.560 they're on spring break baby when they're pollinating they're on spring break they're
00:03:06.140 out there i saw one bee fly right out of one flower and right just right into another didn't
00:03:10.600 even wash his hands after being in the first one I said that's that's a lot for me you know just
00:03:18.120 and he just went one right into the next one just cheating on a tulip with a daffodil he didn't even
00:03:23.240 you know and I could see he kind of stopped on the edge of the tulip he's like yeah I'm gonna call
00:03:28.940 you I'm gonna holler at you you know I'm gonna get at you I gotta go I gotta go to work or something
00:03:33.880 And then he kind of buzzed one way and then skrrt, bam.
00:03:38.160 And he was laid up with a couple daffodils over there, boy.
00:03:43.140 Because bees, they don't, you know, they just, they just trying to get their rocks off out there.
00:03:48.220 That's the truth.
00:03:51.460 But we need them. 0.94
00:03:54.080 We need bees out there.
00:03:55.900 You know, I ain't trying to be a snitch, but I saw a bee and a wasp running a little two-man over there
00:04:00.720 with a couple boogin' Vilias, you know? 0.99
00:04:06.940 And them Vilias was boogin', homie. 0.97
00:04:09.340 I mean, shorty had some pedals on her. 1.00
00:04:13.380 You know what I'm saying, gang?
00:04:15.220 I'm upstairs.
00:04:17.800 But, yeah, the springtime, man, I like the springtime.
00:04:23.920 I like it because it just gives me a reminder just that there's something new can happen.
00:04:30.480 that thing that there's a refresh, you know, that there's a, there's a, there's a, there's
00:04:38.440 possibility there's, you know, just that something new can happen. And I really liked that. I like
00:04:45.440 the springtime and that's how I feel about it. And we went over to super cross and I don't know 0.56
00:04:52.520 if you ever been to super cross, you know, cause there's, you know, we all know there's the cross
00:04:57.620 And that's what Jesus died on.
00:04:59.440 And that's the most popular one.
00:05:01.500 But, you know, and a little, well, a decent ways down from that,
00:05:06.120 but still out there is Supercross.
00:05:10.080 And that, you know, I didn't know, I didn't know anything about Supercross.
00:05:14.000 I don't know if you know anything about it.
00:05:15.840 But if you don't know anything about it, then that's how I am.
00:05:22.240 That's how I, then we're the same because I didn't know anything about it, bro.
00:05:27.620 But those bikes, man, I walked into, I went to Nissan Stadium.
00:05:31.460 I went to Nissan Stadium. 1.00
00:05:33.680 And Nissan Stadium, I thought you go in there, it's just a bunch of Nissans trying to, you know, 0.99
00:05:38.540 looking for a place to park or a bunch of Asian dudes with a bunch of tricked out Nissans in there. 1.00
00:05:43.760 You know? 0.97
00:05:45.000 Because Nissan is Asian.
00:05:47.140 People don't realize that.
00:05:48.560 People think it's just a word that doesn't even mean anything.
00:05:52.740 But it's Nissan.
00:05:57.620 yeah that's asian bro and so i thought it was going to be like that but um
00:06:02.180 but the bikes man the bikes are just 0.64
00:06:04.700 and then they have one little gay biker kind of pad by he'd be like 0.78
00:06:16.860 the engine it's like you hear like 0.96
00:06:22.400 and then a little gay bike would be like, 0.99
00:06:27.200 oh, who wants to come over to my place or whatever? 0.99
00:06:30.260 He'd be like, damn, that bike, they got that thing tuned. 0.97
00:06:33.820 They got that thing tuned hot. 0.99
00:06:35.660 That thing's coming in hot, boy.
00:06:38.120 He just wants mechanics to come over and help it.
00:06:40.440 That bike was just like, I'm broke.
00:06:42.680 Oh, my engine's broken.
00:06:44.960 That's a trap, baby.
00:06:47.300 B's in a trap. 0.99
00:06:48.400 That thing's a trap.
00:06:49.340 so they got that they kind of bait that that that bike gets put in because you got the other bikes
00:06:55.240 just one guy broke it broke his whole neck leg everything he broke everything he had he had
00:07:06.000 he'd already broke i think his neck or something they'd taken part of his leg he said and put it 1.00
00:07:10.020 in his neck and i'm like damn that bitch out here leg necking and then i think he cracked that bitch 1.00
00:07:17.440 on one of the turns, man. 1.00
00:07:18.760 It was, but it's intense out there.
00:07:25.120 Oh, hey, who wants to talk?
00:07:27.880 You know, who wants to talk behind the gas tank?
00:07:30.200 You know, just, but anyway,
00:07:31.900 a lot of different engines out there.
00:07:36.460 But it was fascinating.
00:07:40.080 And, you know, and the bikes,
00:07:43.740 the bikes that they use, the motorbikes,
00:07:45.400 they're bitching, man. 1.00
00:07:47.440 Them bikes are bitching. 1.00
00:07:49.920 And I didn't think I would like a dirt bike. 0.98
00:07:52.740 Because first of all, it's got dirt on it.
00:07:56.380 You know what I'm saying?
00:07:57.140 If somebody tried to get you involved with selling you another item,
00:08:02.120 and they say, hey, you want this dirt shirt or whatever,
00:08:05.460 you want this dirt baby carriage, you know what I'm saying? 1.00
00:08:11.100 You want these dirt tits, you're going to say, nah, man, miss me with that. 0.99
00:08:17.440 but a dirt bike it just i don't know it broke the mold i'll say that because if you look at the uh 0.99
00:08:28.340 the food you know the uh what's it called when like a lion eats a dolphin or whatever the um
00:08:38.000 the food chain when you look at the food chain of transportation you don't think about a dirt bike
00:08:44.200 mostly when you think of transportation you go you start at the top you think fighter jet
00:08:50.520 plane tank um truck car skateboard piggyback i guess that's a mode of transportation kind of
00:09:04.040 um yeah it won't get you far you know but you'll be you'll be better off than the guy
00:09:11.300 you riding on when you pull up. Then it goes dirt bike, hitchhiking, and just wishing you
00:09:20.040 were somewhere else. And that's the echelons of transportation right there. But one thing I also
00:09:27.500 loved about Supercross is they brought in 26 million pounds of dirt for the event. So when
00:09:38.720 they made all the um triangles that's what it is when they made all those dirt triangles
00:09:45.320 they had 26 million pounds of dirt so that's just incredible and then I said to the guy well what
00:09:51.480 do y'all do afterwards he's like well we store it at different places around town I said dang bro 0.94
00:09:56.140 that's crazy they got that shit probably stored everywhere I say look rent out you you could rent 0.97
00:10:03.660 out two corners of my house. I wrench out two corners over there. Stack a little bit 1.00
00:10:10.040 of dirt in them bitches for $18, bro, $30, $40. That's what I'm living like. Because 1.00
00:10:19.900 I'm saying if they got 26 million pounds of that to hide away, the guy said, yeah, we
00:10:27.980 just store it around town and we come back and get it next year. I'm like, dang, y'all
00:10:32.380 coming back if y'all coming back to get that shit i'll charge you 61 i'll charge you 40 a month 0.99
00:10:41.240 to keep that shit you keep eight pounds of that shit and i got a couple empty cupboards in the 1.00
00:10:46.940 kitchen ain't nothing in them bitches one of them has a air fryer in it i will fill that bitch up 1.00
00:10:52.200 i'll keep i'll fuck i'll keep 10 square inches of that damn dirt warm for you i'll get yeah i'll 1.00
00:10:58.620 keep some of that shit warm for our air fry that shit and we'll get you back some quality dirt bro 1.00
00:11:04.160 and that's gonna now be fifty dollars a month but that's the kind of business we need is to say 0.99
00:11:11.120 if you come to my house you say look hey bro hold a little bit of this dirt for me bro
00:11:17.920 i got you gang that's who i am but yeah i had a nice time over there man and then uh
00:11:27.300 and just to go do something different do something new I'd never been I just got invited
00:11:32.700 I went over I got to meet some of the some of the drivers um Seth there's a guy named Seth
00:11:40.340 a dude named Jet I met uh Eli he he kept winning and uh Mr. Stewart he was in there the boss
00:11:49.200 young boss um but yeah these dudes bro it's just like I think the thing that was the most
00:11:55.780 neat to me about it was that it felt like you were just a kid everybody it felt like there's
00:12:00.820 this kid thing of wanting to like just ride your bike you know um and that was pretty magical in
00:12:09.780 there and yeah people were just having a good time I think it's a great thing to take your
00:12:15.080 your family to I think you I think you could go watch it and uh I don't work for them or anything
00:12:20.260 i just i went and had a nice time uh separately from that what did i do i went down and saw my
00:12:25.780 stepdad and uh i got to take him out for his birthday and we went over there uh down uh where
00:12:33.540 i'm from went to uh mandeville seafood over there i think they got some of the best seafood uh
00:12:40.500 on the north so i think they they really get it done i like they got a fried shrimp po' boy that
00:12:45.300 and I walked in bro I could hear that fryer the fryer knew I was coming you could hear the fryer
00:12:56.440 that deep fryer rub his hands together in the back of that beer he knew I'd walked in because
00:13:02.560 I get it oh boy I will take care of some fried shrimp so if you have a fried shrimp problem in
00:13:09.800 your area. Hit my line, twin. But so that was nice. And my stepdad and I sat over there. It's
00:13:18.700 not my real stepdad, but he kind of just been a big influence in my life. I live with their
00:13:22.340 family for a long time and blessings to him. What else is going on? Oh, I went to the farmer's
00:13:33.500 market and that was fun and i like that farmer's market i like to see people making things and
00:13:43.220 then you get to learn about the people that are doing it and it just feels like so much more of
00:13:48.620 like a community than like an amazon or something like that um yeah the comparison of getting
00:13:57.940 something through amazon and going to a farmer it's not even a comparison you know just the
00:14:02.720 energy you get from seeing people and seeing them with their families, you know, especially
00:14:06.240 a lot of farmer's markets, they start up around springtime. And I know everybody can't afford a
00:14:10.960 farmer's market. I know some of the pricing is different and, uh, and some people, they don't
00:14:17.500 have farmer's markets by them. But if you, some people never even been to one, but yeah, I just
00:14:27.800 enjoyed it because also it gives me a different respect for the food. You know, if I buy something
00:14:33.740 that I've learned about and that I know where it's come from, I think I'm, I think I engage
00:14:41.300 with it differently. You know, like, uh, I don't know. It's not, sometimes in my life,
00:14:52.120 food has just been kind of i don't know just i've just absorbed it or ate or whatever just
00:14:58.960 kind of nonchalantly i don't know the customer i don't know where this stuff's from i don't know
00:15:03.280 you know what the what it is what it's made i don't know anything about it so what do i care
00:15:08.280 but then yeah i think this was interesting just to get some stuff i got some milk over there
00:15:13.700 and they'll milk anything in that bit though i ain't gonna lie 0.98
00:15:17.920 things you never even they got damn moon milk in that bitch i'm like dang somebody got up there 1.00
00:15:25.040 and squeezed the biggest tit in the world you feel me got somebody was up there just pushing 1.00
00:15:32.240 making that crescent drip homie um but they they got everything in there grass milk cat milk uh 0.99
00:15:42.020 they was somebody at all just was just they had two dudes just milking each other a couple gay 0.99
00:15:50.000 dudes over there bruh and I didn't say nothing I didn't have any you know but I you know and 0.94
00:15:55.020 they didn't even yeah but I ain't saying nothing but but I ain't saying nothing and that's what
00:16:02.140 it was anyway what else um but yeah the fact they moved all that dirt in it was just kind of
00:16:09.940 fascinating to me and just to learn something new to do something new it makes me feel more alive
00:16:14.840 kind of because i sometimes i get pretty set in my ways um we're gonna go to some calls and stuff
00:16:20.940 uh what else um what do we got in the news trevin anything that's uh you noticed did you see this
00:16:28.440 pope leo and trump beef pope leo and trump oh yeah i mean this is unbelievable the uh where he's
00:16:36.740 like the pope is weak on crime that one yeah well after trump's tweet on easter
00:16:43.160 you know just tweeting about the annihilation of people bring up the tweet so so i can be clear on
00:16:49.440 what it is if you see that easter tweet it's it's correct and this was on truth social um
00:16:56.760 tuesday will be power plant day and bridge day all wrapped up in one in iran there will be 1.00
00:17:02.560 nothing like it open the fucking straight you crazy bastards or you'll be living in hell just 1.00
00:17:06.360 watch praise be to Allah President Trump I mean that's just on Easter that's unbelievable 1.00
00:17:11.700 you know when people are hoping for something new literally on the day when people are hoping
00:17:17.920 and are believing with their hearts as much as they can
00:17:21.720 and are celebrating something new a rebirth a resurrection a possibility
00:17:29.100 um to write that is it's diabolical it's insane um and i think my fear is that after they
00:17:40.480 after uh you know israel just moved from gaza then now it's lebanon and it's it and it's iran
00:17:47.540 they're on a time clock and i don't know why they're on a time clock but it's
00:17:50.780 they've pressed the fast forward button on control at any cost
00:17:56.800 and i don't want to get too deep into it because i don't want to i don't want to i don't want to
00:18:02.420 feel i don't want to you know i want to i want to stay in a place of possibility for myself
00:18:08.880 um but i do fear that that that that my i think my biggest fear is that that stuff could come here
00:18:14.420 you know with the technology that they're using to take on a lot of these crimes with the 0.55
00:18:19.440 technology that that they used uh to murder i mean it's in gaza it's just like when in these 0.89
00:18:29.180 places in the middle east with the technology they're using they can if they can instill that
00:18:33.360 here then we will be living under the watchful eye of like drones that could take you out if
00:18:41.080 you don't, if they don't like something you write on line. And that's scary. But when
00:18:49.580 you're up against like things that seem this bizarre and insane, other things start to
00:18:55.960 seem possible and um and it's not and what American is this helping
00:19:04.400 besides the war the industrial war complex what a man what American what hard work what guy who's
00:19:14.500 trying to take care of uh of his family or a single mother who's a nurse who's going to work
00:19:21.380 and has to get home and get to her kid's ball game
00:19:23.620 and has to be both parents. 0.90
00:19:26.500 What farmer is this helping?
00:19:29.360 What regular person is this helping?
00:19:33.340 I just don't know.
00:19:34.720 I don't understand.
00:19:37.560 So yeah, that's what our president's up to 0.99
00:19:40.500 and it's fucking baffling. 0.99
00:19:42.820 And it's sick and it feels like he's just been compromised 1.00
00:19:45.260 by Israel, by this dark government over there. 0.97
00:19:49.040 and
00:19:50.720 I don't know 0.98
00:19:53.400 it's fucking dark 0.97
00:19:54.860 it's dark 0.99
00:19:56.620 what can we talk about 0.99
00:20:00.120 yeah it's dark shit over there 1.00
00:20:01.600 it's dark shit 1.00
00:20:03.360 I just don't 0.99
00:20:04.060 I don't know
00:20:05.100 where do we get some leaders
00:20:08.120 yeah where do we get some leaders
00:20:14.880 and how do we
00:20:15.620 I don't know 0.99
00:20:16.820 fuck i guess we start just by leading ourselves huh 0.99
00:20:20.400 all right let's get into a little bit of news here what do we got guys 0.99
00:20:25.160 so i don't know if you saw this but sweden has built vending machines for crows
00:20:30.740 oh wait i i did see this i i think i shared this a couple of months ago maybe on tiktok
00:20:36.820 uh yes sweden built a smart machine uh where crows trade trash for food turning these
00:20:46.380 clever birds in the city cleaners corvids the bird family that includes crows and ravens are
00:20:53.480 known for remarkable intelligence including tool use memory and problem solving skills
00:20:58.240 and controlled experiments crows learn to drop cigarette filters into a specifically designed
00:21:03.380 device and then that device dispensed food that's what we need bro that's the kind of thing we need
00:21:11.260 you teach a crow, hey, go pick up this trash, put it in here, and then you get a little
00:21:16.020 McNugget or something. Something crows eat a little bird omelet or something. You get
00:21:24.460 something like that. And that's the kind of things we need. And that's the kind of things
00:21:28.560 I've been saying and praying for. Things that actually make society better. Inventions that
00:21:33.940 make society better. Rubber cars. I said that shit forever ago. Because you'll see a car accident,
00:21:40.120 the only thing that survived it was the damn tires. 1.00
00:21:43.420 Well, bitch, make the whole thing rubber. 1.00
00:21:45.960 You could hit whoever the hell you want, dude. 1.00
00:21:48.660 You could hit your damn wife 1.00
00:21:50.060 when she's leaving the house if you want. 1.00
00:21:52.220 If she's in her rubber car as well, 1.00
00:21:54.460 just give her a little bump, let her know. 1.00
00:21:56.400 Let her know you got a little something for her 0.98
00:21:58.120 when she gets back to the house, you know what I mean? 0.52
00:22:01.680 Just give her a little bit of a love tap.
00:22:04.480 But yeah, if everybody's in a rubber car,
00:22:06.140 you could get real on the way to work.
00:22:08.100 you know or what about pants i've always thought this would be a good invention pants 1.00
00:22:13.120 that walk for you i'm talking about the um electronic pants and them bitches they'll they'll 1.00
00:22:21.460 go so you get in them and then you just tell you navigate on your phone yeah take me to 13th 1.00
00:22:29.720 avenue or whatever and then bitch you just walk you could that way you can relax kind of 1.00
00:22:34.800 because your pants are going to know when to stop and when to go. 1.00
00:22:39.260 You know what I'm saying?
00:22:40.040 You don't have to use all your muscles,
00:22:41.380 because your muscles can be calmer,
00:22:43.140 because the pants are going to get you there.
00:22:45.460 You can just relax, let your pants take you for a walk. 1.00
00:22:49.340 You know, and if you want to jog, turn them bitches up. 1.00
00:22:51.980 If you're running late, cut them bitches loose, boy. 1.00
00:22:56.160 They ain't got no governor on these jeans, baby girl. 1.00
00:23:00.500 Cut them bitches loose. 1.00
00:23:02.840 Or what about this? 1.00
00:23:03.820 This was an adventure that I thought of.
00:23:06.160 What if they had earrings? 1.00
00:23:08.260 You buy your wife these earrings, 1.00
00:23:10.020 and they whisper naughty stuff in her ear
00:23:12.960 while she's at work.
00:23:15.160 So then when she comes back to the house,
00:23:17.100 you know what I'm saying?
00:23:18.260 The ambiance has already been done.
00:23:22.720 You know?
00:23:24.200 She's at work.
00:23:25.080 She's in the office or whatever,
00:23:26.520 and you hit her up.
00:23:29.680 You send her a little message, you know?
00:23:30.980 wish I was there right now 1.00
00:23:33.840 I'll bend you over that little 1.00
00:23:35.660 paper shredder or whatever 0.93
00:23:38.060 I want to hide in the recycling bin 1.00
00:23:40.500 and lick your body or whatever 1.00
00:23:41.760 you could send little shit like that 1.00
00:23:43.160 and then the earrings whisper it to her 1.00
00:23:44.900 I want to lick your body 1.00
00:23:49.960 in the recycling bin 1.00
00:23:51.480 imagine that
00:23:53.380 so we've been needing positive stuff
00:23:56.500 I like the way they're getting birds involved in it
00:23:58.380 let nature work
00:24:00.120 Because a lot of birds have been out of work. 1.00
00:24:02.260 Them bitches have been out of work. 1.00
00:24:03.800 They used to be spies. 1.00
00:24:05.020 Remember those, Trevin?
00:24:06.680 Yeah, the birds aren't real initiative.
00:24:08.780 They're drones.
00:24:09.680 Pigeons. 1.00
00:24:10.240 Them bitches was working. 1.00
00:24:12.380 Storks used to bring babies. 1.00
00:24:13.900 Them bitches was at it. 1.00
00:24:15.680 Who else? 1.00
00:24:18.800 The raven Edgar Allan Poe. 1.00
00:24:20.780 He was putting them bitches to work. 1.00
00:24:22.180 And now they got crows popping off doing recycling. 1.00
00:24:26.140 so yeah i'm glad to see this i'm glad to see an amelia back hustling man praise god
00:24:32.580 i love that dude i love that so yeah so praise god man i love seeing this i love seeing birds
00:24:42.480 get active boy get nature involved what if they had a little squirrel and his job was just to um
00:24:48.900 come uh use his tail to uh buff your car how great would that be somebody trains 30 40 squirrels
00:24:58.300 over there you pull up you stop they clean it and then they they got 40 squirrels waxing that 0.97
00:25:04.900 bitch with their tails bro come on let's go this is the future we want not doing genocides this is 1.00
00:25:12.740 the shit we need praise god brother if somebody's sending you that you up and it's 2 a.m 3 a.m 38 a.m 1.00
00:25:22.820 it don't matter they hitting you up like that then you know they trying to keep it popping 1.00
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00:26:37.440 Is pornography causing a problem in your life? Do you find yourself watching porno for longer
00:26:44.220 periods of time and having trouble stopping? Is porn affecting your relationship or dating life?
00:26:52.520 Well, you're certainly not alone. Watching pornography has become so commonplace today,
00:26:58.220 and oftentimes men use porn to numb the pain of loneliness, boredom, anxiety, and depression.
00:27:06.180 Shame and stigma prevent men from talking about these issues and getting help for them.
00:27:11.320 I want to introduce you to my friend Steve.
00:27:14.020 Steve is the founder of Valor Recovery, a program to help men overcome porn abuse and sexual compulsivity.
00:27:21.720 Steve is a long-term sexual recovery member
00:27:24.140 and has personally overcame the emotional and spiritual despair of abusing pornography
00:27:28.960 and has dedicated his life to empowering men to do the same.
00:27:33.940 Steve is an amazing person, and he is a close friend of mine.
00:27:38.600 I mean that.
00:27:40.200 Valor Recovery helps men to develop the tools necessary to have a healthier sex life.
00:27:45.480 Their coaches are in long-term recovery and will be your partner, mentor, and spiritual guide
00:27:50.820 to transcend these problematic behaviors.
00:27:54.140 To learn more about Valor Recovery, please visit them at www.valorrecoverycoaching.com
00:28:03.520 or email them at admin at valorrecoverycoaching.com.
00:28:11.100 Thank you.
00:28:13.320 Let's get into some calls that came from you guys.
00:28:20.200 We got a call.
00:28:21.200 Let's hit the hotline.
00:28:21.740 As always, the hotline is 985-664-9503.
00:28:26.140 Amen to that.
00:28:28.260 Here we go.
00:28:29.060 We got a call right here.
00:28:30.760 Hey, Theo.
00:28:31.800 I just want to say, hey, I really appreciate you, man.
00:28:36.820 I just finished my career as a door dasher,
00:28:41.080 and I listened to all your podcasts while I was doing my career as a door dasher.
00:28:46.840 Let's go, brother.
00:28:47.860 Congratulations, brother.
00:28:49.400 Onward.
00:28:49.800 And I actually hit the pinnacle.
00:28:52.440 I didn't know where to go after that.
00:28:55.060 So I was calling in for some advice to see, you know,
00:28:58.440 where you think a retired DoorDash should go, what I should do.
00:29:05.080 I feel like I hit the pinnacle, man, and it's really sad.
00:29:10.520 Hope you have a great day, man.
00:29:12.580 Cheers.
00:29:13.740 Well, first of all, brother, I want to say,
00:29:16.480 can we get a couple guns salute for that guy just for his service?
00:29:19.800 amen brother i think the first thing you got to do bro you got to join the reserves man take a 0.51
00:29:41.620 break take a break you that you you are that hunger santa that door dash you that hunger santa
00:29:49.040 Now, homie, and your service is appreciated. 0.99
00:29:55.060 I mean, there's probably not a porch in town 0.98
00:29:57.520 you haven't just dropped a damn McNuggets on it 0.98
00:30:00.800 or some Froyo'd or whatever. 0.99
00:30:03.620 They're probably in an apartment.
00:30:06.500 Welcome, Matt, you haven't set a little small sack
00:30:09.240 of McDowbells or whatever 1.00
00:30:11.420 or a couple of banana Sundays on that bitch 1.00
00:30:18.480 or some takidos or some burritos you've put all there probably ain't a dang uh you probably have 0.99
00:30:26.640 just a whole collection of photos of just a damn little sack of jack in the box just sitting right 0.95
00:30:34.020 there near a mat that says home is where the heart is on it how i mean god your phone must be full 0.98
00:30:40.440 brother you have served your time and we thank you for your service man i think you got to go
00:30:45.700 into the reserves bro and every now and then they'll call you out you know we got to get 40
00:30:51.740 big macs or whatever or we got to get 40 um you know seed oil mac nuggets or whatever over to 0.71
00:31:00.940 to this gymnasium they'll bring you up for shit like that or if there's a flood or whatever and 0.99
00:31:06.680 they got to have somebody swim across a channel just to deliver just to deliver a damn uh blt to 0.99
00:31:14.760 somebody they'll bring you out and you probably you probably got a little bit of ptsd i'm gonna 0.89
00:31:21.460 say that right now you know i bet you got some ptsd i would apply i would apply to get some uh 0.99
00:31:29.260 medical uh tuition to help you out with that because you deserve that shit i bet you'll just 0.99
00:31:38.040 be driving through a neighborhood and you'll just run off bro and just deliver an invisible bag of 0.99
00:31:42.680 something new in an apartment just can't even help it you know i bet your wife might find you 1.00
00:31:49.520 in the middle of the night you out there ghost dashing you just door dashing your damn sleep 1.00
00:31:53.340 you out there walking backwards and shit wandering around a stranger's apartment complex with a 1.00
00:31:57.800 damn sack of hot dogs and a side of fries brother take a break 1.00
00:32:02.480 Take some time, baby 1.00
00:32:05.840 Sit at home
00:32:07.580 Let it unwind
00:32:08.360 Forget
00:32:09.460 About all
00:32:11.520 The trenches you've been in, dog
00:32:13.760 Get some peace time, baby
00:32:15.020 Hit the reserves, man
00:32:16.760 We thank you for your service, baby
00:32:17.860 Praise God
00:32:18.500 God, I can't even believe that, man
00:32:22.060 And I'm not even brave enough to serve
00:32:25.360 To be honest with you
00:32:26.020 That's what gets me
00:32:26.720 That's what gets me, man
00:32:29.740 And you got this dude
00:32:31.660 He did 21 years as a door dasher.
00:32:35.400 Watched his friends probably, 1.00
00:32:36.800 probably watched friends just drowning in deep fryers and shit. 1.00
00:32:42.020 Watched a friend just slip on a damn, 1.00
00:32:45.360 you know, a cut of pickle or something 0.99
00:32:46.980 that had fallen out of a bag and broke his leg,
00:32:49.240 broke his neck, broke his leg neck.
00:32:54.900 God, we don't think about that.
00:32:58.000 We don't think when you're laying in bed at night,
00:33:00.200 that in the distance
00:33:02.360 there are men running over hills
00:33:03.680 wandering through woods
00:33:04.800 swinging across vines
00:33:07.760 with rivers filled with gators 1.00
00:33:09.900 and bad bitches from Atlanta 1.00
00:33:12.160 just to get a fucking 1.00
00:33:15.200 sack of five guys 1.00
00:33:16.920 to a damn Sig App house. 1.00
00:33:21.400 We don't think about that shit. 1.00
00:33:25.080 Lest we forget, man. 1.00
00:33:28.320 So go forth, young soldier.
00:33:30.000 go forth and get you some peace time, brother.
00:33:32.520 Take a deep breath and get you some
00:33:33.940 relaxation.
00:33:35.780 And we'll keep you in our prayers, brother. Praise God.
00:33:37.760 Thank you for your service. 1.00
00:33:40.160 Fuck, dude. I'm Alex 0.99
00:33:41.840 and I'm from Bethlehem, Pennsylvania. I actually saw
00:33:44.000 you at Wind Creek, but...
00:33:45.420 Oh, thank you for calling Alex. Onward.
00:33:48.380 I even fucked up my sobriety
00:33:49.900 day, but 331
00:33:51.920 days sober today and it's like the longest
00:33:53.960 I've ever gone. Let's go,
00:33:55.900 bro. 331
00:33:57.880 days. That's amazing, dog. Congrats. Onward.
00:34:00.000 i've been battling this shit for so long dude like a good 10 years but i've never made it 0.98
00:34:06.720 this far i'm actually driving to los angeles california right now i'm moving out there from 0.95
00:34:11.240 and uh it's like five in the morning i just have some questions about the sobriety thing so i'm a
00:34:17.200 i'm a professional snowboarder i work with a lot of kids and i also work with a lot of other
00:34:21.880 athletes and i just wonder how how you maintain a positive attitude and stay social in these
00:34:32.720 atmospheres when becoming freshly sober i don't know i i just feel dull and a little less enthusiastic
00:34:40.920 as i might have been before i don't know a little less enthusiastic thank you so much for your call
00:34:47.700 brother i appreciate that um congratulations on 331 days let's go dude that's so great
00:34:55.360 that's a long time how do you keep it going i mean and look you talked about um you know
00:35:01.140 newly sobering you're not new i mean you all i mean i guess look i've been newly sober so many
00:35:06.360 times um let's call him up can we yep hello hey alex yeah hey what's up man it's theo
00:35:18.680 oh what's up do you know not much bro i was just checking in i just i i i got your voicemail dude
00:35:25.340 i just want to say congratulations man do you still have your sober time yeah let's go man
00:35:31.840 I'm so hyped.
00:35:33.100 How many days you got right now? 0.99
00:35:34.420 Holy shit, Theo Vaughn, are you for real? 0.99
00:35:36.220 Yeah, man, I just got your voicemail, dude. 1.00
00:35:39.540 No way, that's crazy.
00:35:41.540 I was driving to LA.
00:35:42.980 Yeah, that's what you said. 0.99
00:35:43.740 And I was like, fuck it, I'm gonna call the hotline and say hello. 1.00
00:35:46.460 Oh my god! 1.00
00:35:49.940 Bro, BLM, homie, that's what the fuck is up. 1.00
00:35:54.160 Hell yeah, bro. 1.00
00:35:56.780 Dude, that's great, bro.
00:35:58.040 How are you feeling?
00:35:58.660 i feel good uh every day is a new day so you know it comes with some battles but i feel great today
00:36:06.780 nice dude i know isn't it crazy how some days will feel great and then that other day comes 0.99
00:36:11.460 you're like god i just want to pull my legs off and just hide them in somebody's ass bro 0.99
00:36:15.820 yeah something like that sounds about right or you know what i'm saying or just you have days 1.00
00:36:21.920 you're like how could it how could it be so different than it was yesterday that's how i
00:36:25.720 feel sometimes right right um yeah what what's the setup like there you do you feel like nervous
00:36:31.120 about being out there like what was the reason you were heading out to LA um I actually moved
00:36:36.200 in here with my girlfriend um I wasn't really nervous to move out here I'm kind of used to like
00:36:41.960 being out in big crowds and shit but I think it's just different now that I don't have substances
00:36:47.420 to do anything you know and like being in LA like the only things to do are really like at night 0.92
00:36:52.460 unless you do like i don't know like what do you do during the day yeah you can hide from 0.95
00:36:58.220 to hide from traffic that's what i did yeah the traffic bro that's real shit i would hide from 0.84
00:37:04.300 traffic bro what else did i like to do oh i did like to go to the beach i like to go uh 0.82
00:37:10.200 i mean there's a ton of stuff but i'm not probably not the best person to ask i would
00:37:15.560 kind of isolate a little bit or i would also i worked a lot during the day and i would try to
00:37:19.180 hit like meetings in the evening or something um yeah so but at least you got your girl there so
00:37:24.500 that's exciting so you got one person there that's that you can connect with yeah no it's super dope
00:37:29.940 and i have some friends that are out here too so it's like it's not the worst case scenario you
00:37:34.060 know yeah so it's not it's definitely cool i'm just trying to figure out what it is throughout
00:37:38.920 the day just in general to do like now it doesn't even matter like if i'm in la or not you could
00:37:43.360 have a job you got a job i do yeah okay i manage an athlete and i'm a professional snowboarder
00:37:49.060 oh that's right you mentioned that you snowboard dude my bad um okay good uh yeah dude i think if
00:37:56.560 you're brave enough to try something new like that and get out there you're gonna you'll figure that
00:37:59.840 stuff out dude but i think um yeah i think like i mean for me i just noticed the more i can take
00:38:05.720 care of myself the more i can be involved in other people's lives like in a uh at least show up in
00:38:11.160 other people's lives you know and and then sometimes it's for better and sometimes it's
00:38:16.800 not sometimes i don't do the best but at least i can show up you know so if i'm taking care of
00:38:20.800 myself yeah i mean that's how i feel too yeah if i just do the things i need to do and stay off
00:38:27.840 all the bad shit yeah i kind of become a better person and being a good person and going to do
00:38:34.240 things and being around other people feels a lot better you know yeah i don't know i feel like less 0.98
00:38:39.460 of a scumbag i don't know i'm trying to get all my thoughts i'm honestly still mind-blowing
00:38:43.000 dude no worries no i think like all right let me think i am too bro i think my energy's been 0.95
00:38:48.140 weird today i just like some days i'm just like uh i feel like kind of spastic um yeah dude i
00:38:55.420 think though but i will say this los angeles has one of the best uh sober communities in the whole
00:39:00.400 world bro out there there's so many great meetings right here you hear some freaking amazing speakers 0.99
00:39:05.460 and shit out there i mean people that fucking people that were eating their own fingers and 0.99
00:39:09.620 shit and like dude guys that were like somebody who cut his thumb off and filled it up with dope 1.00
00:39:15.120 and put it in his own ass we're just people that are wild and you know people that are really 1.00
00:39:20.080 looking for god the wrong the long way you're taking the long way to the lord 0.99
00:39:23.540 yeah there's definitely a lot of those war stories i feel like when you're in la and you
00:39:29.280 like look around you can obviously tell that there's a strong homeless community which means
00:39:32.780 there's definitely a strong sober community yeah because those i mean that kind of makes sense
00:39:37.460 Yeah. Oh, bro, because those communities, it's a thin line between those two communities a lot of times, bro.
00:39:44.500 Yeah, for sure.
00:39:45.260 Like, a lot of us are very, we've been close to that edge of just walking off into the oblivion.
00:39:51.860 Dude, how about it? How about it? I've been battling this shit for so long. I can't even believe I've gotten this far.
00:39:57.780 Amen. This is the longest you've had, huh?
00:40:01.040 Yeah, way past the longest I've ever had.
00:40:03.600 And what do you think's been the secret?
00:40:04.760 I think the last time I did this, I only had a couple months.
00:40:07.460 hell yeah dude and what and sorry i stepped in here says there but yeah what do you think's
00:40:12.000 been like honestly when you think about it and you're honest to yourself what do you think's
00:40:15.300 been the most helpful thing to you um or would you do differently what did i do differently i
00:40:23.780 don't you know what dude i i did have a pretty scary heart situation that happened to me last
00:40:29.960 year where i've had like two near-death experiences with the heart condition i didn't even know i
00:40:34.940 really had and i had to get two heart surgeries and i think that kind of opened up my mind a
00:40:40.540 little bit to it and then but even then after i was done with the heart surgeries and my heart
00:40:45.580 was kind of like back to normal per se because it was a pretty simple fix i was drinking so much
00:40:50.620 and but i wasn't drugging as much and my girlfriend was like kind of telling me she's like hey like
00:40:54.740 do you like realize how much you drink and then i just took a step back and realized and i think
00:40:59.620 that's when it all finally came to me that like I've actually never stopped doing something you
00:41:05.440 know I was always doing something you know other than the time when I you know I was I was ODing
00:41:11.240 when I was a bit younger in my lower 20s and I had no choice but to go to meetings and try and
00:41:15.720 stay clean because my brother was also getting clean at the time so that was a whole other thing
00:41:21.060 yeah the story goes on forever man you know how it is but yeah and then sometimes we get tired of
00:41:26.020 writing that story dude that's what I start to notice for myself man you know I get tired of
00:41:30.860 writing that old story because like man I've written this you know like just I've written it
00:41:36.340 a lot you know and so I want to change it but um cool man I got to finish taping this episode but
00:41:40.700 uh yeah I just wanted to say I just want to say I appreciate you calling in thanks for like
00:41:44.520 just like uh yeah including us in your drive across the country and um yeah dude I'm glad
00:41:50.260 that you got like dude you're like one of those astronauts on Artemis or whatever then you're out
00:41:55.600 some new territory bro coming up on one year that's wild yeah dude it's crazy no i appreciate 0.95
00:42:02.480 you for reaching out dude obviously a super i'm a super fan i've been watching this shit or listening 0.96
00:42:07.080 to this shit for for years oh thanks bro that's yeah we were watching last night what's the one 0.98
00:42:11.740 you watching last night oh yeah the only timothy shadow makes i didn't hear that one but i usually 0.99
00:42:17.320 listen every week oh yeah that dude's a g bro he's a that guy's got so much charm in him he's 0.98
00:42:21.820 just full of damn charm he's just a damn charm like a damn charm animal you know yeah bro so 0.97
00:42:31.120 no but i appreciate you theo thank you so much man i've made my day it's really really dope oh 0.99
00:42:36.000 thanks bro yeah i appreciate you dude i appreciate you too and thanks for just uh yeah sharing the
00:42:40.380 message man i think there's never too too much of it so i appreciate you man have fun out there uh
00:42:45.720 Give our best to your old lady
00:42:48.200 and good luck on a year, man.
00:42:50.940 I know we'll see you there.
00:42:53.260 All right.
00:42:53.580 Thank you so much, Dio.
00:42:54.760 Have a good one, man.
00:42:55.620 All right.
00:42:55.840 Praise, bro.
00:42:56.380 Be good.
00:42:58.180 That's awesome, dude.
00:42:59.840 You sound like an upbeat guy.
00:43:01.160 I'm like, dude, it sounds like
00:43:03.020 he sounds kind of like
00:43:04.620 he just sounded like
00:43:07.120 he had a good energy, huh?
00:43:08.380 Yeah, man.
00:43:08.820 I mean, he's a snowboarder.
00:43:10.080 Yeah, dude.
00:43:10.920 Yeah, you were doing enough, dude.
00:43:13.020 you can't be uh doing snow and riding on it you know i'm saying like you can't 1.00
00:43:19.500 fuck i would lose my mind out there i'd be out there lost in the middle of the night 1.00
00:43:25.420 just literally trying to snort up a damn mogul you know i get a brain freeze that's when you 0.99
00:43:31.860 know you anyway let's get all right let's get some help um yeah blessings to you alex let's 0.99
00:43:37.340 let's take another call here hey theo long-time listener first time caller um
00:43:45.680 man i just wanted to call and say i appreciate everything you do
00:43:50.620 and uh you know i was listening to your ella langley podcast about like
00:43:56.140 we all meet she was saying how we all this is our first go around right you know we're all just
00:44:02.000 living for the first time and i think i've been struggling lately with
00:44:07.080 um feeling like almost like i'm stuck in this cycle where you know you're alone you're lonely
00:44:13.100 you're by yourself which you know sometimes isn't like the best thing for you to do but it's
00:44:18.400 almost like uh second nature it's just what you retreat to and then you you know you then you
00:44:24.920 want to go out and you go out and you hang out with your buddies and you have sometimes like a
00:44:29.220 wild night you get influenced by like what you think they want what you think the world want
00:44:33.140 with instagram and all you know social media tells you to do so you're drinking you might 0.92
00:44:37.920 even fucking get your nose a little bit dirty like you used to and uh you know you're trying 0.99
00:44:43.640 to get all the girls numbers and like fucking you know have a have a grand old time and you're out 0.99
00:44:48.860 all night and then uh you kind of wake up the next day feeling like shit and you're like i'm not even 1.00
00:44:53.880 any closer to my goals i'm not getting where i need to be um but then you just kind of fucking 0.94
00:44:59.500 retreat and then you do it all over again and uh i know you know i feel like maybe you once 0.91
00:45:06.580 led through this and i think a lot of guys go through this and you know i've shut off social
00:45:11.040 media i've tried to like i've gone through periods where i didn't drink for long long periods of time
00:45:16.940 and uh i know you sometimes just always go back to this because then you're just like what's the
00:45:20.760 point you know we're only you know that one go around on this like am i gonna like waste my
00:45:25.640 youth i'm going to waste my opportunities um but i'm no closer to my goals and i think i'm
00:45:30.380 you know i uh i lost my job last year and uh i'm supposed to be like studying and trying to get
00:45:37.720 ahead for some stuff that's going to give me a better job but a lot of time i just kind of let
00:45:43.100 the days go by and now i'm stuck here you know by myself sitting in my room after the weekend 0.72
00:45:48.060 kind of just fucking i don't know man feeling down and uh i don't even know why okay you know 0.92
00:45:55.080 and I just wanted to know how you deal with this 0.97
00:45:57.660 how you get yourself out of this how you get to a better
00:45:59.660 life how do you get to a place where like you're
00:46:01.640 not just cycling through and you're
00:46:03.640 actually moving toward things that you want
00:46:05.500 and I appreciate your advice
00:46:07.620 alright Theo thanks man
00:46:09.200 thanks so much for the call I don't
00:46:11.700 think you said your name at the beginning
00:46:13.140 but thank you
00:46:15.980 yeah the cycle
00:46:19.940 of just like okay
00:46:21.760 I'm going to do this and then I would kind of
00:46:23.720 for me, I would like, I would, I'm going to try that. I would let myself down. I would try and
00:46:28.020 I would ask God to help me and I'd be like, I would pray, you know, and, but I would just,
00:46:37.180 and it was the same thing. And I appreciate your, I appreciate you being so articulate in your
00:46:43.080 calling and doing your best to share as honestly as you could, what was going on.
00:46:46.860 Um, I'll try to share, you know, I've been struggling, man. I've, the past like couple
00:46:55.160 years I've had, you know, it's been a struggle in, in certain ways with certain behaviors that
00:47:00.940 I'm just not proud of. Right. Or really just behaviors that I didn't want to do anymore.
00:47:08.020 Um, and I couldn't change it. I couldn't change the cycle. And even as I say this,
00:47:15.140 I'm afraid that I'll fall back into those behaviors, but I'll tell you what for me has
00:47:19.480 been helpful recently.
00:47:20.940 And I'm sorry if I sound a little animated.
00:47:23.800 I just, I've been like going through this in my own life recently, and it's on the tip
00:47:30.220 of my thoughts and feelings.
00:47:33.840 You know, sometimes I realized for myself, I would pray to God to help me get away from
00:47:37.660 certain behaviors in my life.
00:47:39.000 but at the same time that I was praying
00:47:41.940 there would be a part of me that
00:47:43.560 knew I was
00:47:45.840 probably going to do those things again
00:47:47.280 you know
00:47:48.660 that I was probably going to do those
00:47:51.800 things again
00:47:52.400 like a big God please help me
00:47:55.800 I don't want to do this anymore I don't want to
00:47:57.820 have this behavior
00:47:58.680 a little part of me that was like
00:48:01.140 I know even as I ask
00:48:03.040 for God's help
00:48:05.780 that I'm going to do it again
00:48:07.680 I would know that
00:48:09.360 so I started praying like this
00:48:11.980 I started praying like God
00:48:13.440 please help me
00:48:17.820 with this
00:48:19.560 you know this is a broken part of me
00:48:22.100 that I bring to you I need help with it
00:48:24.080 and then I would add to my prayer I would say
00:48:26.040 and even God even as I pray to you
00:48:28.200 right now there's a part of me that
00:48:29.840 knows I'm probably lying
00:48:32.020 to you there's a part of me
00:48:34.080 that knows I'm going to do that behavior again
00:48:35.880 And so can you come into that part of me and help me there?
00:48:43.160 Help me in the part of me that knows as I pray that I am, that I'm lying.
00:48:51.400 And I don't know if that sounds crazy or not, but, uh, but I started to think that like
00:48:58.540 a connection between us and a higher power, it's so, it's such the realest, it's like
00:49:02.920 in my life it's one of the realest things that i've ever witnessed right
00:49:06.020 like you go in like i'll be in meetings and uh or a recovery meetings or um and you see people's
00:49:14.800 lives change you see something happen you see you see miracles right uh but that was what was
00:49:24.000 happening you know it was i couldn't change i could i tried everything i tried everything to
00:49:31.320 change. I would tell myself, I'm going to do it different. I'm going to do that. And it wouldn't,
00:49:34.980 it just, I couldn't do it. I couldn't do it by myself. And my whole life, I'd done everything
00:49:43.380 by myself. I thought, I thought I had. And so something that's just been helping me recently
00:49:54.920 he's just praying differently, you know, because whatever's inside of me that's broken
00:50:02.800 is really, it's manipulative and it's, you know, it would be good at pool because it's
00:50:10.160 good at, it's good, it's good at the angles, but so yeah, so I'll just been praying that
00:50:16.400 God comes into those parts of me, you know, don't just come into like the water inside
00:50:23.400 I mean, come into the, come into the well, come into the walls of the well, come into
00:50:29.340 the, the, the, the mortar or whatever that's between the bricks, that, cause I'm, cause
00:50:35.200 I'm broken, cause, cause I'm broken all the way there, you know, and I don't mean that
00:50:46.640 like in self pity, I don't need it.
00:50:48.820 But if there's a part of me that doesn't even want the best for me, then there's something inside of me that is off.
00:51:02.940 So that's something that's been helping me because some of it's been coming true.
00:51:08.560 And I don't know if it's been coming true.
00:51:10.200 I don't know if that's a term, but I don't know.
00:51:13.740 I'm starting to just feel something different.
00:51:15.600 and then i was also i was i was looking on this bible uh and there's a story called john five
00:51:23.760 and it's about a guy who's at these pools and some people follow the bible some people don't
00:51:28.840 that's fine this is just a story um that i'm reciting here um and and jesus is is at the
00:51:38.080 is at the pools and it's in bethesda and they're like there's a sick man there and he's been sick
00:51:43.700 for a long time, and Jesus asks him, do you want to be healed?
00:51:49.840 He asks him, do you want to be healed?
00:51:54.660 And that's a crazy question because, you know, if I get healed, then I'm different.
00:52:07.340 You know, if somebody gets healed, they have a new story.
00:52:13.700 so that's just been something that i've been having to ask myself it's like do i want to be
00:52:25.840 healed do i really want something different
00:52:29.480 and sometimes a lot of the answer is no i don't i want something different but i don't want to
00:52:40.620 I don't know if I'm scared of it
00:52:43.580 I don't know what I am
00:52:44.420 I don't know if I don't want to do what it takes to get
00:52:47.520 I can't even tell what it is
00:52:49.220 and
00:52:51.880 it's hard for me
00:53:02.920 some of this stuff is a little bit hard for me to say
00:53:04.880 I think I don't even know why
00:53:05.740 but I think I want a new story
00:53:09.020 you know my story in my life and i'm sorry to make this about me kind of uh but i'm just trying
00:53:17.280 to share like um you know i when i was growing up like my mom something was wrong with her
00:53:25.100 i love my mother you know but she didn't connect with me she didn't like look at me
00:53:31.280 and she didn't, you know, she wouldn't hold me that much
00:53:39.600 and she wouldn't look me in the eyes, right?
00:53:43.420 And so as a kid, I felt like something was wrong with me.
00:53:49.560 You know, I felt like, oh, if the person that created me won't even look at me,
00:53:57.000 then something must be so wrong with me.
00:54:01.280 um, you know, and I've worked through a lot of this stuff. And so I'm kind of going down this
00:54:08.060 lane. Um, but I just gave me, it gave me like a lot of, a lot of low self-worth,
00:54:15.600 you know, it just gave me low self-worth. And, and, and honestly, it made it tough for me to
00:54:21.900 even have a self because the only person that I only knew who I was, if you reacted to me well,
00:54:28.520 right like i became just a people pleaser because i didn't have any feelings of self-worth so the
00:54:34.480 only way i could get my worth was from you right from somebody else and it made sense because i
00:54:40.000 didn't have a me that you know i didn't have a big sense of self and so i got myself from who
00:54:44.100 you thought i was and i needed everybody to like me i i needed everybody to like me because i didn't
00:54:51.700 know if i didn't know if i didn't know if there was a one person that didn't like me if one of the
00:54:56.000 the the plate stopped spinning if it was all gonna fall down
00:55:00.220 so anyway sorry i'm kind of rambling but
00:55:05.620 but the the thing that also happened was that whole
00:55:11.800 all of that energy that negative energy uh that uncertainty the
00:55:16.360 that became my story right and it gave me like a chip on my shoulder where it
00:55:21.260 was like um you know i'm gonna show them i'll show
00:55:24.520 these mother you know i'll be i'll do this and i'll you know it gave me all of that it gave me
00:55:29.400 all of that energy like i'll prove to them i'll prove to somebody that i'm that i'm worth something
00:55:37.960 i'm gonna make
00:55:38.840 yeah i just want to look in somebody's eyes and have them be pleased with me
00:55:47.080 that's what i that's what i wanted
00:55:49.600 that's what I wanted I think it's all that any kid wants I wanted to just look in somebody's
00:55:55.840 eyes and have them be pleased with me and um and it all that gave me a chip on my shoulder
00:56:01.440 you know and so anyway so it gave me all this energy it was like you know I'm gonna figure
00:56:05.520 this out I'll never I'll do it myself I'll figure you know and all that stuff served me well until
00:56:10.780 I think just until now
00:56:14.380 it's like
00:56:15.420 I don't know
00:56:20.400 I'm just tired of living that story man
00:56:22.340 I'm tired of that story
00:56:23.580 you know I'm tired of that story
00:56:30.060 I just don't want that story anymore
00:56:31.640 you know it's been a good story
00:56:36.560 and it's served me well 1.00
00:56:37.680 dang homie I'm leaking
00:56:40.140 it's been a good story and it served me well 0.99
00:56:45.000 but I don't want that story anymore
00:56:46.320 you know I want something different
00:56:48.160 because the more I just tell that story
00:56:52.720 it's just like
00:56:53.440 you know I stay in that world
00:56:58.500 I stay in that cycle
00:56:59.720 for me and I think
00:57:02.340 yeah so I want to have
00:57:04.880 and it's scary to say that I want to have a new story
00:57:07.300 because I'm so used to like
00:57:08.840 how those other feelings work
00:57:10.840 I know who to be angry at
00:57:12.060 I know how to operate here
00:57:13.760 and I know how to operate there
00:57:14.820 and I know who to not give love to
00:57:16.560 and I
00:57:17.320 you know
00:57:19.620 I know how to make like love
00:57:27.780 like very conditional
00:57:28.740 I know how to like
00:57:29.580 do all these
00:57:30.680 I know how to navigate 0.98
00:57:31.620 to get this fucked up vehicle 0.99
00:57:34.340 down the street 0.99
00:57:35.040 you know
00:57:37.540 but I think I want a new story, dude
00:57:41.740 and it's crazy for me to even say that
00:57:43.280 but yeah, I think I want a new story
00:57:46.940 and so that's one thing
00:57:53.880 that I'm asking God for
00:57:54.960 yeah, I'm asking God for a new story, right
00:57:58.660 I'm asking God for the next part of me
00:58:01.040 you know, and being okay with saying
00:58:06.400 And I'm not, I, you know, like these days, you know, my mother and I have a great relationship
00:58:11.560 and we, and I, I love my mother.
00:58:15.800 There's nothing I want more than my mother to be happy, you know?
00:58:23.200 And it's funny because as she gets older, she kind of turns in a little bit more like
00:58:26.180 a child sometimes.
00:58:27.180 and the roles kind of like,
00:58:36.120 I guess they switch a little bit
00:58:37.460 and you get to try to be what you needed in a way
00:58:46.380 and it's pretty cool and that's a gift.
00:58:48.360 That's a gift from God, I think.
00:58:53.240 And so, yeah, I want to be able to,
00:58:55.020 I just want to be able to
00:58:57.480 I don't know
00:58:59.960 I don't even know what I'm telling you dude
00:59:01.260 Jesus Christ
00:59:02.000 this guy's got
00:59:03.280 this guy's got to be like 1.00
00:59:04.220 God why'd I call this idiot 1.00
00:59:05.420 yeah so I think 1.00
00:59:13.480 anyway that's what's been helping me
00:59:14.860 like
00:59:15.180 and I never thought I would be saying some of this stuff
00:59:18.380 but I'm glad that I am
00:59:19.960 because I just
00:59:20.760 I'm ready for a new story
00:59:21.920 i'm ready for a new story and i'm ready for like
00:59:27.380 yeah and the scary part is i don't i like is who will i be if i let go of these things that i've
00:59:35.080 always done and known some of these behaviors if i even can let go of some of them and and i know
00:59:41.320 i'm not going to get anything right or whatever not there's no like it's just like oh i don't
00:59:48.120 know, man. I don't even know what I'm saying. I'm kind of tired. Um, what, what can I, what
00:59:58.220 can I suggest? Do you think Trevon or offer some thought? Do you have any thought about
01:00:01.820 any of this? I think it's, it's really hard. And I think praying is a great first step
01:00:07.180 if you don't know where to go or how to break a cycle. Yeah. Yeah. That, that, that, that's
01:00:13.000 it. I just like, yeah, I just start like, that's, that's something that's helped me
01:00:15.940 is I just started praying,
01:00:16.920 but I started praying as honestly as I could
01:00:21.820 and even honest past that.
01:00:29.500 Like, God, these behaviors I don't like of mine,
01:00:33.720 will you help me?
01:00:34.600 Even though I know that I might do them again,
01:00:38.180 even though I know I want to do them again,
01:00:39.580 will you come into the parts of me
01:00:40.640 that want to do these behaviors again and help me there?
01:00:43.480 will you come just will you come you know will you come all the way to the
01:00:49.480 i mean will you come to the like past the roots
01:00:56.680 and yeah and it's just like i don't know i and it's crazy to think that i i could like
01:01:10.320 I could have a, like, I don't know.
01:01:20.980 Yeah, I don't know.
01:01:21.680 A lot of it's scary to me.
01:01:22.780 And some of this isn't making sense.
01:01:24.020 And I'm sorry, man.
01:01:24.680 I think I'm just getting kind of burnt out.
01:01:26.240 It's been a, it's been a, I don't know what it's been.
01:01:30.940 But I just, I'm glad that you care about what's going on.
01:01:34.440 And yeah, to get out of the cycle, man, it's hard.
01:01:36.900 and to show up for myself.
01:01:39.940 Other things that I've been doing
01:01:40.860 is I've been getting up early.
01:01:42.240 I've been doing some yoga.
01:01:43.440 I've been doing a workout at home.
01:01:47.440 I went and played basketball the other day
01:01:49.040 with some friends.
01:01:49.560 I hadn't done that in years, man.
01:01:50.520 And you know what?
01:01:51.160 I felt good.
01:01:51.920 I left out of there.
01:01:52.580 I went to an AA meeting
01:01:53.540 and I started,
01:01:55.000 just like, I'm not bragging.
01:01:56.380 I'm just saying I started getting active.
01:01:59.740 You know?
01:02:02.220 And I started coming to my own rescue
01:02:03.960 a little bit.
01:02:05.900 But I started just showing up for myself.
01:02:08.000 And if I told somebody I'm going to do something, then I came and did it.
01:02:13.820 And I've never done that a lot in my life.
01:02:16.240 But for the past few weeks, I've been doing it.
01:02:18.700 And when I say something and then I do it, there's a part of me that hears that, right?
01:02:27.840 And there's a part of me that starts to have like, okay, this guy is, he's somebody who says he's going to do something and he does it.
01:02:33.360 and so that
01:02:35.000 then part of me
01:02:36.000 starts to build up
01:02:36.780 that it's like I'm
01:02:37.420 it's like I'm building
01:02:38.580 somebody new man
01:02:39.780 and I'm not trying
01:02:42.800 to challenge you or anything
01:02:43.580 I'm just telling you
01:02:44.240 kind of what's been
01:02:44.760 working for me
01:02:45.420 and yeah I know 0.99
01:02:49.780 anyway this shit's 1.00
01:02:50.580 all over the place 0.99
01:02:51.280 plenty of my vape
01:02:56.700 you know
01:02:57.100 I wish the church
01:02:58.400 made vapes dude 1.00
01:02:59.240 those things 0.99
01:03:00.280 would slap 0.99
01:03:01.840 is that bad
01:03:04.960 trying to say that
01:03:05.780 they're based
01:03:06.580 in like catholic church
01:03:07.520 they got the incense
01:03:08.360 they're basically
01:03:08.940 they've been vaping
01:03:10.280 oh dang
01:03:11.820 yeah let me get
01:03:13.540 a little bit 1.00
01:03:14.020 dude if they freaking
01:03:14.980 had a you know
01:03:15.900 I got that frankincense
01:03:17.600 3000 puffs
01:03:19.100 homie that thing 0.93
01:03:19.640 would be popping
01:03:20.520 but yeah I don't know
01:03:23.720 I've just like
01:03:24.300 I've sat in rooms
01:03:25.520 and been in meetings
01:03:26.300 and done this for
01:03:27.020 like done that cycle
01:03:28.420 a long time
01:03:28.960 and right now
01:03:29.520 something's feeling
01:03:30.140 a little bit different
01:03:30.700 and it's scary for me
01:03:31.400 to even say that because there's a part of me that doesn't want things to be different,
01:03:35.120 but there's a part of me that's growing that wants to have a new story for me.
01:03:39.500 And I didn't think I could have a new story, you know, I think maybe in my head I did and 0.90
01:03:45.060 shit, but in my heart, I didn't think that. 0.82
01:03:47.900 And so, yeah, but yeah, thanks for calling dude. 0.99
01:03:53.400 And thanks for, um, thinking of us.
01:03:55.400 And yeah, I don't know the answer to how to get out of the cycle.
01:03:58.340 I don't know.
01:03:58.980 and if I ever get all the way out
01:04:02.180 I promise I'll share it with you
01:04:04.520 but
01:04:07.620 yeah thanks for hitting the hotline
01:04:10.260 and
01:04:11.340 and yeah just thinking out loud
01:04:14.400 and just thanks for being honest bro
01:04:15.640 I felt like your call was really honest
01:04:17.140 like this is what's going on
01:04:18.780 and I'm tired of it and what can I do
01:04:21.240 and I wish I had the answers for you
01:04:23.260 you know
01:04:27.080 I wish I had the answers for you
01:04:28.900 But that's all I got.
01:04:33.920 All right, let's hear this call.
01:04:36.920 Hi, Theo.
01:04:38.000 This is Quinn.
01:04:39.660 Big fan of the show.
01:04:41.620 I just wanted to share a Bible verse with you.
01:04:45.060 Ecclesiastes 311.
01:04:47.520 It's brought me a lot of comfort because the way things are lately, it's been pretty weird, pretty scary.
01:04:56.060 Amen, bro.
01:04:57.160 It's weirder than that.
01:04:58.900 homeward and um i know that people who care deeply can can kind of be affected by that fear deeply
01:05:07.260 so anyway the bible verse is this um he has made everything beautiful in his time and he's put
01:05:14.220 eternity into the human heart and no man can know his plan from beginning to end that's pretty close
01:05:20.580 it's funny i got nervous for a voicemail but anyway um everything is beautiful in god's time
01:05:28.520 And even if that's a reality we don't live in right now, it will be a reality because God promises us that he'll make it beautiful.
01:05:36.740 And I know you've got eternity in your heart.
01:05:38.920 You've got that eternity mindset, and you spread a lot of light.
01:05:42.820 So I know things are weird, but it's all going to be good.
01:05:49.420 So anywho, I feel silly leaving this, but I hope you have a great day, and thanks for what you do.
01:05:56.400 Bye. 0.96
01:05:58.520 type shit king uh that it almost like that was like that like what if that was like the kid me 0.99
01:06:06.040 calling back and telling me this and yeah we have to just do our best you know and pray 0.98
01:06:12.760 i'm praying that god like helps me be a warrior you know i'm praying that god helps me be a warrior
01:06:20.420 you know because we might need we might need people that are that are that can be warriors
01:06:27.420 Now, I'm not going to be like one of the front warriors, dude.
01:06:29.920 I will be a warrior in the back.
01:06:31.580 You heard me, bro? 1.00
01:06:33.060 I'll be a warrior in the back eating chips and talking shit, boy. 1.00
01:06:37.620 But still, bro, you still qualified. 1.00
01:06:40.300 You can get that warrior payment.
01:06:41.680 You still get that warrior check, that W check, bro. 1.00
01:06:45.680 So I'll get that shit. 0.66
01:06:48.640 But, yeah, thank you guys for being a part of the episode. 0.98
01:06:52.160 You guys be good to yourselves.
01:06:53.980 You deserve it.
01:06:54.920 and um yeah just thanks for giving me a place where i can come and share about things and that
01:07:00.100 we can come and we can share about things and uh yeah that's all i got trevin anything you want to
01:07:07.040 say not much from me it was a great one and uh yeah check out the movie if you guys can busboys
01:07:12.720 movie.com thanks trevin and yeah and i was thinking this spring that's the thing man you
01:07:18.240 know like a spring is a time for a new story you know so and i don't even know if i can stick with
01:07:24.460 this some of these behaviors that are making me feel different i don't know even know if i can
01:07:27.980 so i'm scared even to really talk about it to be honest with you
01:07:32.000 but i don't know so many times i've been in spaces i've been afraid to say that i feel like there's
01:07:38.760 a possibility for something new for me i've been afraid to really say that and then i end up in the
01:07:43.580 same spot so i think i'm at least just trying something different today and if that's you know
01:07:49.640 If at the very least that's all that is, then I'm trying something different,
01:07:55.320 trying something new.
01:07:57.620 You guys be good to yourselves, baby.
01:07:58.940 You deserve it.
01:07:59.720 Praise God, baby.
01:08:00.680 I'm upstairs.
01:08:01.400 I'm upstairs.
01:08:19.640 Feel it in my bones
01:08:22.480 But it's gonna tell you