#654 - Something New
Episode Stats
Length
1 hour and 8 minutes
Words per minute
165.53801
Harmful content
Misogyny
67
sentences flagged
Toxicity
176
sentences flagged
Hate speech
124
sentences flagged
Summary
In this episode I talk about my trip to see Busboysmovie in theaters, spring break, bees, and the return of the Rat Tour to Lexington, KY on May 1st, 2nd and 3rd.
Transcript
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my god i gotta get a haircut before a hunter shoots me this is a lot um i want to say uh
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just i want to say just a message just to thank everybody um for showing up who was able to show
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up and uh and check out bus boys uh in the movie theaters this weekend um it means a lot you know
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uh we had just so many people that showed up and did something on social media or showed some love
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and so he sat in there with his shirt off and watched it
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he's like dude I hadn't been to a movie in 8 years
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and watched and I know that was a lot of people
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um who are my family also and uh and yeah just the support i just felt supported and it was just it
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was it felt a little spooky to try and do it like to do something you hadn't done like and have
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everybody see it like the like you know like i'm gonna be a olympic diver or whatever and then
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everybody shows up for your first dive kind of shit so um anyway that might be a bad correlation
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but um but yeah just thank you so much and uh i appreciate you and um and uh and i appreciate that
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your support and i hope that uh in our lifetime um that i can return the favor thank you and if
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you haven't gotten to see it uh busboysmovie.com it's expanding to more theaters i believe and so
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you can check it out there and if not it'll be somewhere where you can watch it online uh after
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that. And yeah, thank you so much. Also, Lexington, Kentucky, the home of Paul Revere, baby. I'm
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coming back for three shows, one on Friday, May 1st, and then two shows on Saturday, May 2nd.
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That's the return of the Rat Tour. And I think that's the end. That'll be the end of it. I hope
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to see you there. You can get tickets only at TheoVon.com slash T-O-U-R. Gang, gang, baby. Buzz,
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buzz, baby. It's springtime. You know, I talk about springtime a lot, you know, because it's
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a time kind of for something new. And the bees, you see them bees out there. And them bees, baby,
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then things they you know i saw a bee the other day because they're out there pollinating
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and they're pollinating bro and that's when they're basically uh you know what i'm saying
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they out there you know they listening to cardi b they're doing they're out there they're out there
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they're on spring break baby when they're pollinating they're on spring break they're
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out there i saw one bee fly right out of one flower and right just right into another didn't
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even wash his hands after being in the first one I said that's that's a lot for me you know just
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and he just went one right into the next one just cheating on a tulip with a daffodil he didn't even
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you know and I could see he kind of stopped on the edge of the tulip he's like yeah I'm gonna call
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you I'm gonna holler at you you know I'm gonna get at you I gotta go I gotta go to work or something
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And then he kind of buzzed one way and then skrrt, bam.
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And he was laid up with a couple daffodils over there, boy.
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Because bees, they don't, you know, they just, they just trying to get their rocks off out there.
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You know, I ain't trying to be a snitch, but I saw a bee and a wasp running a little two-man over there
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But, yeah, the springtime, man, I like the springtime.
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I like it because it just gives me a reminder just that there's something new can happen.
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that thing that there's a refresh, you know, that there's a, there's a, there's a, there's
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possibility there's, you know, just that something new can happen. And I really liked that. I like
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the springtime and that's how I feel about it. And we went over to super cross and I don't know
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if you ever been to super cross, you know, cause there's, you know, we all know there's the cross
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But, you know, and a little, well, a decent ways down from that,
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And that, you know, I didn't know, I didn't know anything about Supercross.
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But if you don't know anything about it, then that's how I am.
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That's how I, then we're the same because I didn't know anything about it, bro.
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But those bikes, man, I walked into, I went to Nissan Stadium.
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And Nissan Stadium, I thought you go in there, it's just a bunch of Nissans trying to, you know,
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looking for a place to park or a bunch of Asian dudes with a bunch of tricked out Nissans in there.
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People think it's just a word that doesn't even mean anything.
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yeah that's asian bro and so i thought it was going to be like that but um
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and then they have one little gay biker kind of pad by he'd be like
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oh, who wants to come over to my place or whatever?
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He'd be like, damn, that bike, they got that thing tuned.
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He just wants mechanics to come over and help it.
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so they got that they kind of bait that that that bike gets put in because you got the other bikes
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just one guy broke it broke his whole neck leg everything he broke everything he had he had
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he'd already broke i think his neck or something they'd taken part of his leg he said and put it
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in his neck and i'm like damn that bitch out here leg necking and then i think he cracked that bitch
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You know, who wants to talk behind the gas tank?
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And I didn't think I would like a dirt bike.
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If somebody tried to get you involved with selling you another item,
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and they say, hey, you want this dirt shirt or whatever,
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you want this dirt baby carriage, you know what I'm saying?
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You want these dirt tits, you're going to say, nah, man, miss me with that.
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but a dirt bike it just i don't know it broke the mold i'll say that because if you look at the uh
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the food you know the uh what's it called when like a lion eats a dolphin or whatever the um
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the food chain when you look at the food chain of transportation you don't think about a dirt bike
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mostly when you think of transportation you go you start at the top you think fighter jet
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plane tank um truck car skateboard piggyback i guess that's a mode of transportation kind of
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um yeah it won't get you far you know but you'll be you'll be better off than the guy
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you riding on when you pull up. Then it goes dirt bike, hitchhiking, and just wishing you
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were somewhere else. And that's the echelons of transportation right there. But one thing I also
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loved about Supercross is they brought in 26 million pounds of dirt for the event. So when
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they made all the um triangles that's what it is when they made all those dirt triangles
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they had 26 million pounds of dirt so that's just incredible and then I said to the guy well what
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do y'all do afterwards he's like well we store it at different places around town I said dang bro
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that's crazy they got that shit probably stored everywhere I say look rent out you you could rent
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out two corners of my house. I wrench out two corners over there. Stack a little bit
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of dirt in them bitches for $18, bro, $30, $40. That's what I'm living like. Because
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I'm saying if they got 26 million pounds of that to hide away, the guy said, yeah, we
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just store it around town and we come back and get it next year. I'm like, dang, y'all
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coming back if y'all coming back to get that shit i'll charge you 61 i'll charge you 40 a month
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to keep that shit you keep eight pounds of that shit and i got a couple empty cupboards in the
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kitchen ain't nothing in them bitches one of them has a air fryer in it i will fill that bitch up
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i'll keep i'll fuck i'll keep 10 square inches of that damn dirt warm for you i'll get yeah i'll
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keep some of that shit warm for our air fry that shit and we'll get you back some quality dirt bro
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and that's gonna now be fifty dollars a month but that's the kind of business we need is to say
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if you come to my house you say look hey bro hold a little bit of this dirt for me bro
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i got you gang that's who i am but yeah i had a nice time over there man and then uh
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and just to go do something different do something new I'd never been I just got invited
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I went over I got to meet some of the some of the drivers um Seth there's a guy named Seth
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a dude named Jet I met uh Eli he he kept winning and uh Mr. Stewart he was in there the boss
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young boss um but yeah these dudes bro it's just like I think the thing that was the most
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neat to me about it was that it felt like you were just a kid everybody it felt like there's
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this kid thing of wanting to like just ride your bike you know um and that was pretty magical in
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there and yeah people were just having a good time I think it's a great thing to take your
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your family to I think you I think you could go watch it and uh I don't work for them or anything
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i just i went and had a nice time uh separately from that what did i do i went down and saw my
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stepdad and uh i got to take him out for his birthday and we went over there uh down uh where
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i'm from went to uh mandeville seafood over there i think they got some of the best seafood uh
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on the north so i think they they really get it done i like they got a fried shrimp po' boy that
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and I walked in bro I could hear that fryer the fryer knew I was coming you could hear the fryer
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that deep fryer rub his hands together in the back of that beer he knew I'd walked in because
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I get it oh boy I will take care of some fried shrimp so if you have a fried shrimp problem in
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your area. Hit my line, twin. But so that was nice. And my stepdad and I sat over there. It's
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not my real stepdad, but he kind of just been a big influence in my life. I live with their
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family for a long time and blessings to him. What else is going on? Oh, I went to the farmer's
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market and that was fun and i like that farmer's market i like to see people making things and
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then you get to learn about the people that are doing it and it just feels like so much more of
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like a community than like an amazon or something like that um yeah the comparison of getting
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something through amazon and going to a farmer it's not even a comparison you know just the
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energy you get from seeing people and seeing them with their families, you know, especially
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a lot of farmer's markets, they start up around springtime. And I know everybody can't afford a
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farmer's market. I know some of the pricing is different and, uh, and some people, they don't
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have farmer's markets by them. But if you, some people never even been to one, but yeah, I just
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enjoyed it because also it gives me a different respect for the food. You know, if I buy something
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that I've learned about and that I know where it's come from, I think I'm, I think I engage
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with it differently. You know, like, uh, I don't know. It's not, sometimes in my life,
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food has just been kind of i don't know just i've just absorbed it or ate or whatever just
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kind of nonchalantly i don't know the customer i don't know where this stuff's from i don't know
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you know what the what it is what it's made i don't know anything about it so what do i care
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but then yeah i think this was interesting just to get some stuff i got some milk over there
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and they'll milk anything in that bit though i ain't gonna lie
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things you never even they got damn moon milk in that bitch i'm like dang somebody got up there
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and squeezed the biggest tit in the world you feel me got somebody was up there just pushing
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making that crescent drip homie um but they they got everything in there grass milk cat milk uh
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they was somebody at all just was just they had two dudes just milking each other a couple gay
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dudes over there bruh and I didn't say nothing I didn't have any you know but I you know and
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they didn't even yeah but I ain't saying nothing but but I ain't saying nothing and that's what
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it was anyway what else um but yeah the fact they moved all that dirt in it was just kind of
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fascinating to me and just to learn something new to do something new it makes me feel more alive
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kind of because i sometimes i get pretty set in my ways um we're gonna go to some calls and stuff
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uh what else um what do we got in the news trevin anything that's uh you noticed did you see this
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pope leo and trump beef pope leo and trump oh yeah i mean this is unbelievable the uh where he's
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like the pope is weak on crime that one yeah well after trump's tweet on easter
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you know just tweeting about the annihilation of people bring up the tweet so so i can be clear on
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what it is if you see that easter tweet it's it's correct and this was on truth social um
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tuesday will be power plant day and bridge day all wrapped up in one in iran there will be
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nothing like it open the fucking straight you crazy bastards or you'll be living in hell just
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watch praise be to Allah President Trump I mean that's just on Easter that's unbelievable
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you know when people are hoping for something new literally on the day when people are hoping
00:17:17.920
and are believing with their hearts as much as they can
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and are celebrating something new a rebirth a resurrection a possibility
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um to write that is it's diabolical it's insane um and i think my fear is that after they
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after uh you know israel just moved from gaza then now it's lebanon and it's it and it's iran
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they're on a time clock and i don't know why they're on a time clock but it's
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they've pressed the fast forward button on control at any cost
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and i don't want to get too deep into it because i don't want to i don't want to i don't want to
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feel i don't want to you know i want to i want to stay in a place of possibility for myself
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um but i do fear that that that that my i think my biggest fear is that that stuff could come here
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you know with the technology that they're using to take on a lot of these crimes with the
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technology that that they used uh to murder i mean it's in gaza it's just like when in these
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places in the middle east with the technology they're using they can if they can instill that
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here then we will be living under the watchful eye of like drones that could take you out if
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you don't, if they don't like something you write on line. And that's scary. But when
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you're up against like things that seem this bizarre and insane, other things start to
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seem possible and um and it's not and what American is this helping
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besides the war the industrial war complex what a man what American what hard work what guy who's
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trying to take care of uh of his family or a single mother who's a nurse who's going to work
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and has to get home and get to her kid's ball game
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So yeah, that's what our president's up to
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And it's sick and it feels like he's just been compromised
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by Israel, by this dark government over there.
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fuck i guess we start just by leading ourselves huh
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all right let's get into a little bit of news here what do we got guys
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so i don't know if you saw this but sweden has built vending machines for crows
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oh wait i i did see this i i think i shared this a couple of months ago maybe on tiktok
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uh yes sweden built a smart machine uh where crows trade trash for food turning these
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clever birds in the city cleaners corvids the bird family that includes crows and ravens are
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known for remarkable intelligence including tool use memory and problem solving skills
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and controlled experiments crows learn to drop cigarette filters into a specifically designed
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device and then that device dispensed food that's what we need bro that's the kind of thing we need
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you teach a crow, hey, go pick up this trash, put it in here, and then you get a little
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McNugget or something. Something crows eat a little bird omelet or something. You get
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something like that. And that's the kind of things we need. And that's the kind of things
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I've been saying and praying for. Things that actually make society better. Inventions that
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make society better. Rubber cars. I said that shit forever ago. Because you'll see a car accident,
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the only thing that survived it was the damn tires.
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You could hit whoever the hell you want, dude.
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just give her a little bump, let her know.
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Let her know you got a little something for her
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when she gets back to the house, you know what I mean?
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you know or what about pants i've always thought this would be a good invention pants
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that walk for you i'm talking about the um electronic pants and them bitches they'll they'll
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go so you get in them and then you just tell you navigate on your phone yeah take me to 13th
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avenue or whatever and then bitch you just walk you could that way you can relax kind of
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because your pants are going to know when to stop and when to go.
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You can just relax, let your pants take you for a walk.
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You know, and if you want to jog, turn them bitches up.
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If you're running late, cut them bitches loose, boy.
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They ain't got no governor on these jeans, baby girl.
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I like the way they're getting birds involved in it
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Because a lot of birds have been out of work.
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And now they got crows popping off doing recycling.
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so yeah i'm glad to see this i'm glad to see an amelia back hustling man praise god
00:24:32.580
i love that dude i love that so yeah so praise god man i love seeing this i love seeing birds
00:24:42.480
get active boy get nature involved what if they had a little squirrel and his job was just to um
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come uh use his tail to uh buff your car how great would that be somebody trains 30 40 squirrels
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over there you pull up you stop they clean it and then they they got 40 squirrels waxing that
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bitch with their tails bro come on let's go this is the future we want not doing genocides this is
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the shit we need praise god brother if somebody's sending you that you up and it's 2 a.m 3 a.m 38 a.m
1.00
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it don't matter they hitting you up like that then you know they trying to keep it popping
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00:28:13.320
Let's get into some calls that came from you guys.
00:28:31.800
I just want to say, hey, I really appreciate you, man.
00:28:41.080
and I listened to all your podcasts while I was doing my career as a door dasher.
00:28:55.060
So I was calling in for some advice to see, you know,
00:28:58.440
where you think a retired DoorDash should go, what I should do.
00:29:05.080
I feel like I hit the pinnacle, man, and it's really sad.
00:29:16.480
can we get a couple guns salute for that guy just for his service?
00:29:19.800
amen brother i think the first thing you got to do bro you got to join the reserves man take a
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break take a break you that you you are that hunger santa that door dash you that hunger santa
00:29:49.040
Now, homie, and your service is appreciated.
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I mean, there's probably not a porch in town
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you haven't just dropped a damn McNuggets on it
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Welcome, Matt, you haven't set a little small sack
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or a couple of banana Sundays on that bitch
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or some takidos or some burritos you've put all there probably ain't a dang uh you probably have
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just a whole collection of photos of just a damn little sack of jack in the box just sitting right
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there near a mat that says home is where the heart is on it how i mean god your phone must be full
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brother you have served your time and we thank you for your service man i think you got to go
00:30:45.700
into the reserves bro and every now and then they'll call you out you know we got to get 40
00:30:51.740
big macs or whatever or we got to get 40 um you know seed oil mac nuggets or whatever over to
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to this gymnasium they'll bring you up for shit like that or if there's a flood or whatever and
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they got to have somebody swim across a channel just to deliver just to deliver a damn uh blt to
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somebody they'll bring you out and you probably you probably got a little bit of ptsd i'm gonna
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say that right now you know i bet you got some ptsd i would apply i would apply to get some uh
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00:31:29.260
medical uh tuition to help you out with that because you deserve that shit i bet you'll just
0.99
00:31:38.040
be driving through a neighborhood and you'll just run off bro and just deliver an invisible bag of
0.99
00:31:42.680
something new in an apartment just can't even help it you know i bet your wife might find you
1.00
00:31:49.520
in the middle of the night you out there ghost dashing you just door dashing your damn sleep
1.00
00:31:53.340
you out there walking backwards and shit wandering around a stranger's apartment complex with a
1.00
00:31:57.800
damn sack of hot dogs and a side of fries brother take a break
1.00
00:32:36.800
probably watched friends just drowning in deep fryers and shit.
1.00
00:32:46.980
that had fallen out of a bag and broke his leg,
00:32:58.000
We don't think when you're laying in bed at night,
00:33:35.780
And we'll keep you in our prayers, brother. Praise God.
00:33:41.840
and I'm from Bethlehem, Pennsylvania. I actually saw
00:34:00.000
i've been battling this shit for so long dude like a good 10 years but i've never made it
0.98
00:34:06.720
this far i'm actually driving to los angeles california right now i'm moving out there from
0.95
00:34:11.240
and uh it's like five in the morning i just have some questions about the sobriety thing so i'm a
00:34:17.200
i'm a professional snowboarder i work with a lot of kids and i also work with a lot of other
00:34:21.880
athletes and i just wonder how how you maintain a positive attitude and stay social in these
00:34:32.720
atmospheres when becoming freshly sober i don't know i i just feel dull and a little less enthusiastic
00:34:40.920
as i might have been before i don't know a little less enthusiastic thank you so much for your call
00:34:47.700
brother i appreciate that um congratulations on 331 days let's go dude that's so great
00:34:55.360
that's a long time how do you keep it going i mean and look you talked about um you know
00:35:01.140
newly sobering you're not new i mean you all i mean i guess look i've been newly sober so many
00:35:06.360
times um let's call him up can we yep hello hey alex yeah hey what's up man it's theo
00:35:18.680
oh what's up do you know not much bro i was just checking in i just i i i got your voicemail dude
00:35:25.340
i just want to say congratulations man do you still have your sober time yeah let's go man
00:35:36.220
Yeah, man, I just got your voicemail, dude.
1.00
00:35:43.740
And I was like, fuck it, I'm gonna call the hotline and say hello.
1.00
00:35:49.940
Bro, BLM, homie, that's what the fuck is up.
1.00
00:35:58.660
i feel good uh every day is a new day so you know it comes with some battles but i feel great today
00:36:06.780
nice dude i know isn't it crazy how some days will feel great and then that other day comes
0.99
00:36:11.460
you're like god i just want to pull my legs off and just hide them in somebody's ass bro
0.99
00:36:15.820
yeah something like that sounds about right or you know what i'm saying or just you have days
1.00
00:36:21.920
you're like how could it how could it be so different than it was yesterday that's how i
00:36:25.720
feel sometimes right right um yeah what what's the setup like there you do you feel like nervous
00:36:31.120
about being out there like what was the reason you were heading out to LA um I actually moved
00:36:36.200
in here with my girlfriend um I wasn't really nervous to move out here I'm kind of used to like
00:36:41.960
being out in big crowds and shit but I think it's just different now that I don't have substances
00:36:47.420
to do anything you know and like being in LA like the only things to do are really like at night
0.92
00:36:52.460
unless you do like i don't know like what do you do during the day yeah you can hide from
0.95
00:36:58.220
to hide from traffic that's what i did yeah the traffic bro that's real shit i would hide from
0.84
00:37:04.300
traffic bro what else did i like to do oh i did like to go to the beach i like to go uh
0.82
00:37:10.200
i mean there's a ton of stuff but i'm not probably not the best person to ask i would
00:37:15.560
kind of isolate a little bit or i would also i worked a lot during the day and i would try to
00:37:19.180
hit like meetings in the evening or something um yeah so but at least you got your girl there so
00:37:24.500
that's exciting so you got one person there that's that you can connect with yeah no it's super dope
00:37:29.940
and i have some friends that are out here too so it's like it's not the worst case scenario you
00:37:34.060
know yeah so it's not it's definitely cool i'm just trying to figure out what it is throughout
00:37:38.920
the day just in general to do like now it doesn't even matter like if i'm in la or not you could
00:37:43.360
have a job you got a job i do yeah okay i manage an athlete and i'm a professional snowboarder
00:37:49.060
oh that's right you mentioned that you snowboard dude my bad um okay good uh yeah dude i think if
00:37:56.560
you're brave enough to try something new like that and get out there you're gonna you'll figure that
00:37:59.840
stuff out dude but i think um yeah i think like i mean for me i just noticed the more i can take
00:38:05.720
care of myself the more i can be involved in other people's lives like in a uh at least show up in
00:38:11.160
other people's lives you know and and then sometimes it's for better and sometimes it's
00:38:16.800
not sometimes i don't do the best but at least i can show up you know so if i'm taking care of
00:38:20.800
myself yeah i mean that's how i feel too yeah if i just do the things i need to do and stay off
00:38:27.840
all the bad shit yeah i kind of become a better person and being a good person and going to do
00:38:34.240
things and being around other people feels a lot better you know yeah i don't know i feel like less
0.98
00:38:39.460
of a scumbag i don't know i'm trying to get all my thoughts i'm honestly still mind-blowing
00:38:43.000
dude no worries no i think like all right let me think i am too bro i think my energy's been
0.95
00:38:48.140
weird today i just like some days i'm just like uh i feel like kind of spastic um yeah dude i
00:38:55.420
think though but i will say this los angeles has one of the best uh sober communities in the whole
00:39:00.400
world bro out there there's so many great meetings right here you hear some freaking amazing speakers
0.99
00:39:05.460
and shit out there i mean people that fucking people that were eating their own fingers and
0.99
00:39:09.620
shit and like dude guys that were like somebody who cut his thumb off and filled it up with dope
1.00
00:39:15.120
and put it in his own ass we're just people that are wild and you know people that are really
1.00
00:39:20.080
looking for god the wrong the long way you're taking the long way to the lord
0.99
00:39:23.540
yeah there's definitely a lot of those war stories i feel like when you're in la and you
00:39:29.280
like look around you can obviously tell that there's a strong homeless community which means
00:39:32.780
there's definitely a strong sober community yeah because those i mean that kind of makes sense
00:39:37.460
Yeah. Oh, bro, because those communities, it's a thin line between those two communities a lot of times, bro.
00:39:45.260
Like, a lot of us are very, we've been close to that edge of just walking off into the oblivion.
00:39:51.860
Dude, how about it? How about it? I've been battling this shit for so long. I can't even believe I've gotten this far.
00:40:04.760
I think the last time I did this, I only had a couple months.
00:40:07.460
hell yeah dude and what and sorry i stepped in here says there but yeah what do you think's
00:40:12.000
been like honestly when you think about it and you're honest to yourself what do you think's
00:40:15.300
been the most helpful thing to you um or would you do differently what did i do differently i
00:40:23.780
don't you know what dude i i did have a pretty scary heart situation that happened to me last
00:40:29.960
year where i've had like two near-death experiences with the heart condition i didn't even know i
00:40:34.940
really had and i had to get two heart surgeries and i think that kind of opened up my mind a
00:40:40.540
little bit to it and then but even then after i was done with the heart surgeries and my heart
00:40:45.580
was kind of like back to normal per se because it was a pretty simple fix i was drinking so much
00:40:50.620
and but i wasn't drugging as much and my girlfriend was like kind of telling me she's like hey like
00:40:54.740
do you like realize how much you drink and then i just took a step back and realized and i think
00:40:59.620
that's when it all finally came to me that like I've actually never stopped doing something you
00:41:05.440
know I was always doing something you know other than the time when I you know I was I was ODing
00:41:11.240
when I was a bit younger in my lower 20s and I had no choice but to go to meetings and try and
00:41:15.720
stay clean because my brother was also getting clean at the time so that was a whole other thing
00:41:21.060
yeah the story goes on forever man you know how it is but yeah and then sometimes we get tired of
00:41:26.020
writing that story dude that's what I start to notice for myself man you know I get tired of
00:41:30.860
writing that old story because like man I've written this you know like just I've written it
00:41:36.340
a lot you know and so I want to change it but um cool man I got to finish taping this episode but
00:41:40.700
uh yeah I just wanted to say I just want to say I appreciate you calling in thanks for like
00:41:44.520
just like uh yeah including us in your drive across the country and um yeah dude I'm glad
00:41:50.260
that you got like dude you're like one of those astronauts on Artemis or whatever then you're out
00:41:55.600
some new territory bro coming up on one year that's wild yeah dude it's crazy no i appreciate
0.95
00:42:02.480
you for reaching out dude obviously a super i'm a super fan i've been watching this shit or listening
0.96
00:42:07.080
to this shit for for years oh thanks bro that's yeah we were watching last night what's the one
0.98
00:42:11.740
you watching last night oh yeah the only timothy shadow makes i didn't hear that one but i usually
0.99
00:42:17.320
listen every week oh yeah that dude's a g bro he's a that guy's got so much charm in him he's
0.98
00:42:21.820
just full of damn charm he's just a damn charm like a damn charm animal you know yeah bro so
0.97
00:42:31.120
no but i appreciate you theo thank you so much man i've made my day it's really really dope oh
0.99
00:42:36.000
thanks bro yeah i appreciate you dude i appreciate you too and thanks for just uh yeah sharing the
00:42:40.380
message man i think there's never too too much of it so i appreciate you man have fun out there uh
00:43:13.020
you can't be uh doing snow and riding on it you know i'm saying like you can't
1.00
00:43:19.500
fuck i would lose my mind out there i'd be out there lost in the middle of the night
1.00
00:43:25.420
just literally trying to snort up a damn mogul you know i get a brain freeze that's when you
0.99
00:43:31.860
know you anyway let's get all right let's get some help um yeah blessings to you alex let's
0.99
00:43:37.340
let's take another call here hey theo long-time listener first time caller um
00:43:45.680
man i just wanted to call and say i appreciate everything you do
00:43:50.620
and uh you know i was listening to your ella langley podcast about like
00:43:56.140
we all meet she was saying how we all this is our first go around right you know we're all just
00:44:02.000
living for the first time and i think i've been struggling lately with
00:44:07.080
um feeling like almost like i'm stuck in this cycle where you know you're alone you're lonely
00:44:13.100
you're by yourself which you know sometimes isn't like the best thing for you to do but it's
00:44:18.400
almost like uh second nature it's just what you retreat to and then you you know you then you
00:44:24.920
want to go out and you go out and you hang out with your buddies and you have sometimes like a
00:44:29.220
wild night you get influenced by like what you think they want what you think the world want
00:44:33.140
with instagram and all you know social media tells you to do so you're drinking you might
0.92
00:44:37.920
even fucking get your nose a little bit dirty like you used to and uh you know you're trying
0.99
00:44:43.640
to get all the girls numbers and like fucking you know have a have a grand old time and you're out
0.99
00:44:48.860
all night and then uh you kind of wake up the next day feeling like shit and you're like i'm not even
1.00
00:44:53.880
any closer to my goals i'm not getting where i need to be um but then you just kind of fucking
0.94
00:44:59.500
retreat and then you do it all over again and uh i know you know i feel like maybe you once
0.91
00:45:06.580
led through this and i think a lot of guys go through this and you know i've shut off social
00:45:11.040
media i've tried to like i've gone through periods where i didn't drink for long long periods of time
00:45:16.940
and uh i know you sometimes just always go back to this because then you're just like what's the
00:45:20.760
point you know we're only you know that one go around on this like am i gonna like waste my
00:45:25.640
youth i'm going to waste my opportunities um but i'm no closer to my goals and i think i'm
00:45:30.380
you know i uh i lost my job last year and uh i'm supposed to be like studying and trying to get
00:45:37.720
ahead for some stuff that's going to give me a better job but a lot of time i just kind of let
00:45:43.100
the days go by and now i'm stuck here you know by myself sitting in my room after the weekend
0.72
00:45:48.060
kind of just fucking i don't know man feeling down and uh i don't even know why okay you know
0.92
00:45:55.080
and I just wanted to know how you deal with this
0.97
00:45:57.660
how you get yourself out of this how you get to a better
00:45:59.660
life how do you get to a place where like you're
00:46:23.720
for me, I would like, I would, I'm going to try that. I would let myself down. I would try and
00:46:28.020
I would ask God to help me and I'd be like, I would pray, you know, and, but I would just,
00:46:37.180
and it was the same thing. And I appreciate your, I appreciate you being so articulate in your
00:46:43.080
calling and doing your best to share as honestly as you could, what was going on.
00:46:46.860
Um, I'll try to share, you know, I've been struggling, man. I've, the past like couple
00:46:55.160
years I've had, you know, it's been a struggle in, in certain ways with certain behaviors that
00:47:00.940
I'm just not proud of. Right. Or really just behaviors that I didn't want to do anymore.
00:47:08.020
Um, and I couldn't change it. I couldn't change the cycle. And even as I say this,
00:47:15.140
I'm afraid that I'll fall back into those behaviors, but I'll tell you what for me has
00:47:23.800
I just, I've been like going through this in my own life recently, and it's on the tip
00:47:33.840
You know, sometimes I realized for myself, I would pray to God to help me get away from
00:47:55.800
I don't want to do this anymore I don't want to
00:48:35.880
And so can you come into that part of me and help me there?
00:48:43.160
Help me in the part of me that knows as I pray that I am, that I'm lying.
00:48:51.400
And I don't know if that sounds crazy or not, but, uh, but I started to think that like
00:48:58.540
a connection between us and a higher power, it's so, it's such the realest, it's like
00:49:02.920
in my life it's one of the realest things that i've ever witnessed right
00:49:06.020
like you go in like i'll be in meetings and uh or a recovery meetings or um and you see people's
00:49:14.800
lives change you see something happen you see you see miracles right uh but that was what was
00:49:24.000
happening you know it was i couldn't change i could i tried everything i tried everything to
00:49:31.320
change. I would tell myself, I'm going to do it different. I'm going to do that. And it wouldn't,
00:49:34.980
it just, I couldn't do it. I couldn't do it by myself. And my whole life, I'd done everything
00:49:43.380
by myself. I thought, I thought I had. And so something that's just been helping me recently
00:49:54.920
he's just praying differently, you know, because whatever's inside of me that's broken
00:50:02.800
is really, it's manipulative and it's, you know, it would be good at pool because it's
00:50:10.160
good at, it's good, it's good at the angles, but so yeah, so I'll just been praying that
00:50:16.400
God comes into those parts of me, you know, don't just come into like the water inside
00:50:23.400
I mean, come into the, come into the well, come into the walls of the well, come into
00:50:29.340
the, the, the, the mortar or whatever that's between the bricks, that, cause I'm, cause
00:50:35.200
I'm broken, cause, cause I'm broken all the way there, you know, and I don't mean that
00:50:48.820
But if there's a part of me that doesn't even want the best for me, then there's something inside of me that is off.
00:51:02.940
So that's something that's been helping me because some of it's been coming true.
00:51:10.200
I don't know if that's a term, but I don't know.
00:51:15.600
and then i was also i was i was looking on this bible uh and there's a story called john five
00:51:23.760
and it's about a guy who's at these pools and some people follow the bible some people don't
00:51:28.840
that's fine this is just a story um that i'm reciting here um and and jesus is is at the
00:51:38.080
is at the pools and it's in bethesda and they're like there's a sick man there and he's been sick
00:51:43.700
for a long time, and Jesus asks him, do you want to be healed?
00:51:54.660
And that's a crazy question because, you know, if I get healed, then I'm different.
00:52:07.340
You know, if somebody gets healed, they have a new story.
00:52:13.700
so that's just been something that i've been having to ask myself it's like do i want to be
00:52:29.480
and sometimes a lot of the answer is no i don't i want something different but i don't want to
00:52:44.420
I don't know if I don't want to do what it takes to get
00:53:02.920
some of this stuff is a little bit hard for me to say
00:53:09.020
you know my story in my life and i'm sorry to make this about me kind of uh but i'm just trying
00:53:17.280
to share like um you know i when i was growing up like my mom something was wrong with her
00:53:25.100
i love my mother you know but she didn't connect with me she didn't like look at me
00:53:31.280
and she didn't, you know, she wouldn't hold me that much
00:53:43.420
And so as a kid, I felt like something was wrong with me.
00:53:49.560
You know, I felt like, oh, if the person that created me won't even look at me,
00:54:01.280
um, you know, and I've worked through a lot of this stuff. And so I'm kind of going down this
00:54:08.060
lane. Um, but I just gave me, it gave me like a lot of, a lot of low self-worth,
00:54:15.600
you know, it just gave me low self-worth. And, and, and honestly, it made it tough for me to
00:54:21.900
even have a self because the only person that I only knew who I was, if you reacted to me well,
00:54:28.520
right like i became just a people pleaser because i didn't have any feelings of self-worth so the
00:54:34.480
only way i could get my worth was from you right from somebody else and it made sense because i
00:54:40.000
didn't have a me that you know i didn't have a big sense of self and so i got myself from who
00:54:44.100
you thought i was and i needed everybody to like me i i needed everybody to like me because i didn't
00:54:51.700
know if i didn't know if i didn't know if there was a one person that didn't like me if one of the
00:54:56.000
the the plate stopped spinning if it was all gonna fall down
00:55:05.620
but the the thing that also happened was that whole
00:55:11.800
all of that energy that negative energy uh that uncertainty the
00:55:16.360
that became my story right and it gave me like a chip on my shoulder where it
00:55:21.260
was like um you know i'm gonna show them i'll show
00:55:24.520
these mother you know i'll be i'll do this and i'll you know it gave me all of that it gave me
00:55:29.400
all of that energy like i'll prove to them i'll prove to somebody that i'm that i'm worth something
00:55:38.840
yeah i just want to look in somebody's eyes and have them be pleased with me
00:55:49.600
that's what I wanted I think it's all that any kid wants I wanted to just look in somebody's
00:55:55.840
eyes and have them be pleased with me and um and it all that gave me a chip on my shoulder
00:56:01.440
you know and so anyway so it gave me all this energy it was like you know I'm gonna figure
00:56:05.520
this out I'll never I'll do it myself I'll figure you know and all that stuff served me well until
00:56:40.140
it's been a good story and it served me well
0.99
00:57:04.880
and it's scary to say that I want to have a new story
00:58:06.400
And I'm not, I, you know, like these days, you know, my mother and I have a great relationship
00:58:15.800
There's nothing I want more than my mother to be happy, you know?
00:58:23.200
And it's funny because as she gets older, she kind of turns in a little bit more like
00:58:37.460
and you get to try to be what you needed in a way
00:59:15.180
and I never thought I would be saying some of this stuff
00:59:21.920
i'm ready for a new story and i'm ready for like
00:59:27.380
yeah and the scary part is i don't i like is who will i be if i let go of these things that i've
00:59:35.080
always done and known some of these behaviors if i even can let go of some of them and and i know
00:59:41.320
i'm not going to get anything right or whatever not there's no like it's just like oh i don't
00:59:48.120
know, man. I don't even know what I'm saying. I'm kind of tired. Um, what, what can I, what
00:59:58.220
can I suggest? Do you think Trevon or offer some thought? Do you have any thought about
01:00:01.820
any of this? I think it's, it's really hard. And I think praying is a great first step
01:00:07.180
if you don't know where to go or how to break a cycle. Yeah. Yeah. That, that, that, that's
01:00:13.000
it. I just like, yeah, I just start like, that's, that's something that's helped me
01:00:29.500
Like, God, these behaviors I don't like of mine,
01:00:40.640
that want to do these behaviors again and help me there?
01:00:43.480
will you come just will you come you know will you come all the way to the
01:00:49.480
i mean will you come to the like past the roots
01:00:56.680
and yeah and it's just like i don't know i and it's crazy to think that i i could like
01:01:26.240
It's been a, it's been a, I don't know what it's been.
01:01:30.940
But I just, I'm glad that you care about what's going on.
01:01:34.440
And yeah, to get out of the cycle, man, it's hard.
01:02:08.000
And if I told somebody I'm going to do something, then I came and did it.
01:02:16.240
But for the past few weeks, I've been doing it.
01:02:18.700
And when I say something and then I do it, there's a part of me that hears that, right?
01:02:27.840
And there's a part of me that starts to have like, okay, this guy is, he's somebody who says he's going to do something and he does it.
01:03:31.400
to even say that because there's a part of me that doesn't want things to be different,
01:03:35.120
but there's a part of me that's growing that wants to have a new story for me.
01:03:39.500
And I didn't think I could have a new story, you know, I think maybe in my head I did and
0.90
01:03:45.060
shit, but in my heart, I didn't think that.
0.82
01:03:47.900
And so, yeah, but yeah, thanks for calling dude.
0.99
01:03:55.400
And yeah, I don't know the answer to how to get out of the cycle.
01:04:47.520
It's brought me a lot of comfort because the way things are lately, it's been pretty weird, pretty scary.
01:04:58.900
homeward and um i know that people who care deeply can can kind of be affected by that fear deeply
01:05:07.260
so anyway the bible verse is this um he has made everything beautiful in his time and he's put
01:05:14.220
eternity into the human heart and no man can know his plan from beginning to end that's pretty close
01:05:20.580
it's funny i got nervous for a voicemail but anyway um everything is beautiful in god's time
01:05:28.520
And even if that's a reality we don't live in right now, it will be a reality because God promises us that he'll make it beautiful.
01:05:38.920
You've got that eternity mindset, and you spread a lot of light.
01:05:42.820
So I know things are weird, but it's all going to be good.
01:05:49.420
So anywho, I feel silly leaving this, but I hope you have a great day, and thanks for what you do.
01:05:58.520
type shit king uh that it almost like that was like that like what if that was like the kid me
0.99
01:06:06.040
calling back and telling me this and yeah we have to just do our best you know and pray
0.98
01:06:12.760
i'm praying that god like helps me be a warrior you know i'm praying that god helps me be a warrior
01:06:20.420
you know because we might need we might need people that are that are that can be warriors
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Now, I'm not going to be like one of the front warriors, dude.
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I'll be a warrior in the back eating chips and talking shit, boy.
1.00
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You still get that warrior check, that W check, bro.
1.00
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But, yeah, thank you guys for being a part of the episode.
0.98
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and um yeah just thanks for giving me a place where i can come and share about things and that
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we can come and we can share about things and uh yeah that's all i got trevin anything you want to
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say not much from me it was a great one and uh yeah check out the movie if you guys can busboys
01:07:12.720
movie.com thanks trevin and yeah and i was thinking this spring that's the thing man you
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know like a spring is a time for a new story you know so and i don't even know if i can stick with
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this some of these behaviors that are making me feel different i don't know even know if i can
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so i'm scared even to really talk about it to be honest with you
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but i don't know so many times i've been in spaces i've been afraid to say that i feel like there's
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a possibility for something new for me i've been afraid to really say that and then i end up in the
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same spot so i think i'm at least just trying something different today and if that's you know
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If at the very least that's all that is, then I'm trying something different,