This Past Weekend with Theo Von - #657 - Bobby Lee

00:00:00.140 Today's guest is a stand-up comedian, a podcaster, and one of the heroes of my heart, this beautiful little Leachie.

00:00:09.620 You know he's my good friend, and I'm so thankful to spend time with him.

00:00:13.460 Today's guest is Mr. Bobby Lee.

00:00:30.000 oh no leave that on that shit's tough dude it's heavy it is okay sorry it's heavy

00:00:36.900 dude you look like daniel day lewis a little bit

00:00:39.960 dude you look like idris alba to me dude you think so yeah dude bring up idris alba yeah

00:00:49.420 you know what idris looks like dog just in the dick you mean huh no your dick is medium

00:00:53.860 it's fair

00:00:54.860 it's an av

00:00:55.940 no I got that

00:00:56.940 lemony cock

00:00:57.700 you got a lemony cock

00:00:59.040 dude

00:00:59.260 yeah dude

00:01:00.100 one and a half bars bro

00:01:01.820 that's it on this

00:01:02.740 mine's a minion dude

00:01:04.160 yeah you got that

00:01:04.900 minion

00:01:05.180 yeah I got minion dick dude

00:01:06.240 oh I like that

00:01:06.980 honey as fuck bro

00:01:07.980 hey hard worker

00:01:08.700 hard worker

00:01:11.500 they do

00:01:13.040 yeah

00:01:13.800 they're very hard workers

00:01:16.020 they have overalls

00:01:16.840 goggles

00:01:17.280 dude yeah bro

00:01:18.380 if your wiener's going in

00:01:19.480 with goggles

00:01:19.980 it's got the whole thing

00:01:21.580 dude

00:01:21.780 you're a champ

00:01:22.480 you're a champ

00:01:23.540 Hey, dude, I can't say that.

00:01:27.460 But here's a rule.

00:01:28.340 You can say it, I can say it.

00:01:29.380 That's my rule here.

00:01:30.540 Well, I can say what?

00:01:34.460 What can I say, dude?

00:01:35.740 Oh, peace.

00:01:37.260 Peace.

00:01:38.860 Peace, guys.

00:01:39.700 Peace, peace, peace.

00:01:41.280 Dude, bro.

00:01:42.980 Good to see you, man.

00:01:43.600 Let me just get into my zone, guy.

00:01:45.360 Okay.

00:01:45.880 Yeah.

00:01:46.300 You want to pray first?

00:01:47.000 I'm happy to pray if you want.

00:01:48.400 Can I start?

00:01:49.280 Yeah, you want to pray?

00:01:50.160 Yeah.

00:01:50.540 Do we have to hold hands?

00:01:51.700 No.

00:01:52.400 But I think we can put our hands however you want.

00:01:54.140 It will get warmer in here.

00:01:55.000 I know it's cold.

00:01:55.600 Yeah, it's really cold.

00:01:57.060 I feel like an Eskimo right now.

00:01:58.380 They're charging us more for heat.

00:01:59.740 I think Israel's doing it.

00:02:01.080 Israel is definitely doing a lot of things.

00:02:03.200 I mean, they're like, what did they do do?

00:02:08.340 What did they do do?

00:02:09.580 What did they do do?

00:02:11.400 Bebe do do do do do.

00:02:12.680 Bad, bad, bad, bad.

00:02:13.640 Right?

00:02:14.100 You're not saying.

00:02:14.680 You're not saying.

00:02:15.480 You're not saying.

00:02:16.060 Yeah, let's do a prayer, man.

00:02:17.860 You want to lead us in it, man?

00:02:18.540 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:02:19.160 But you know

00:02:20.160 When I do prayers dog

00:02:21.240 Look at me first

00:02:22.280 Before we even get into it

00:02:23.520 Yeah for sure man

00:02:24.140 I don't like getting interrupted

00:02:25.660 Okay

00:02:27.540 So I like to finish

00:02:28.420 What my prayer is gonna be

00:02:29.800 You know what I mean

00:02:30.820 And it may go long

00:02:31.880 Okay

00:02:32.840 Yeah

00:02:33.220 No dude I'm just happy

00:02:34.320 To be here with you today man

00:02:35.040 I love you

00:02:35.460 I'm here to give you a hug first

00:02:36.460 Oh sweet and shit

00:02:38.460 I love you

00:02:42.480 I love you dude

00:02:43.140 Thank you for coming

00:02:44.280 Yeah

00:02:45.780 That's the truth man

00:02:47.820 That's the truth bro

00:02:50.360 When the streets call me bro

00:02:51.680 When the streets call you

00:02:52.740 They call me

00:02:53.360 You know what I mean

00:02:54.780 We have the same collar

00:02:56.700 Dear heavenly

00:02:58.740 Hold on

00:03:00.380 What do you need

00:03:01.060 We're praying

00:03:01.420 What are you doing

00:03:02.120 Huh

00:03:03.960 Sorry

00:03:05.080 Bear dick

00:03:06.580 That's your new name dude

00:03:08.540 Bear dick

00:03:09.120 Give it to him

00:03:10.280 Really

00:03:10.580 Oh

00:03:11.880 Love your type

00:03:13.640 Bear dick

00:03:14.980 What do you mean dude

00:03:15.960 He loves it dude

00:03:17.060 Yeah, yeah, he loves the chunk factor, you know what I mean?

00:03:21.700 Because if I was a gay guy, you know what I mean?

00:03:23.960 You know I've done some stuff.

00:03:25.800 Like, what do you mean, man?

00:03:27.560 I've licked a couple.

00:03:28.820 No.

00:03:29.640 Yeah, just like a, um, I just want, I want to know the flavor.

00:03:33.940 Oh, wow.

00:03:34.460 Yeah, yeah.

00:03:34.960 What happened?

00:03:35.880 What do you mean, what happened?

00:03:36.800 Or like, you know.

00:03:37.400 What's the flavor?

00:03:38.320 Oh, yeah, I don't want to know.

00:03:39.240 Yeah, I mean.

00:03:39.800 Salty.

00:03:40.880 Well, what do you mean?

00:03:43.000 What part do you lick the top or the bottom?

00:03:44.880 Licking the bottom is gay.

00:03:46.240 That's gay

00:03:47.560 Look at the top though

00:03:49.640 Ain't gay

00:03:50.560 It's just tasty

00:03:51.380 I mean I don't

00:03:52.120 No it's omakasa

00:03:53.040 You ever go to

00:03:54.860 Omakasa restaurant

00:03:55.840 You don't know

00:03:56.260 What you're gonna get dude

00:03:57.100 That's what I'm doing

00:03:57.840 Omakasa

00:03:58.640 Right

00:03:59.420 And sometimes

00:04:00.280 Dude

00:04:00.900 It's like

00:04:01.280 I go to omakasa

00:04:02.180 With my girl

00:04:03.100 Right

00:04:03.820 And there's certain things

00:04:04.780 She just

00:04:05.400 I go

00:04:05.820 You have to eat it

00:04:07.160 You know what I mean

00:04:07.920 Like we went to

00:04:09.560 You know I've been in the jungle

00:04:10.960 Have you been

00:04:12.640 I did not know that

00:04:13.460 You haven't been in the jungle

00:04:14.260 I mean I know historically

00:04:15.200 Look at my face

00:04:16.240 yeah yeah what do you mean historically no i mean i'm just saying what do you mean historically

00:04:21.820 i just mean like over yeah i'm not nam i know yeah yeah yeah i'm korean dude i know yeah there's

00:04:28.020 no jungles in korea dog i don't know when you say history you do know i'm saying historically

00:04:33.860 historically you've been watching platoon you've been watching you know i mean all kinds of movies

00:04:38.920 Like Hamburger Hill

00:04:39.960 Letters of Iwo Jima

00:04:40.900 Well Dessert Jungle

00:04:42.640 Letters of Iwo Jima

00:04:44.500 It's good

00:04:45.620 It is a good movie

00:04:46.860 Skip Clint Eastwood

00:04:48.220 A round of applause

00:04:48.880 Did he make that?

00:04:50.500 I think so dude

00:04:51.320 I think he made it

00:04:52.260 I didn't even know that

00:04:53.520 He made it when he was

00:04:54.200 116 years old

00:04:55.280 It's so amazing

00:04:56.340 God

00:04:56.740 What amazing world

00:04:57.540 So anyway

00:04:58.380 I've been in the jungle

00:04:59.160 And when I say jungle

00:05:00.000 I mean Waikiki

00:05:00.720 Oh you were out there?

00:05:03.300 I didn't go in it

00:05:04.000 But I saw it

00:05:04.960 Bro

00:05:06.160 What were you doing out there?

00:05:07.840 Dude

00:05:08.140 I was doing all kinds of shit out there.

00:05:09.680 Were you doing ayahuasca or something?

00:05:10.700 No, no, no.

00:05:11.080 I was doing it.

00:05:11.440 No, I go out there on vacation.

00:05:13.100 And so, you know, there's a lot of cool omakase restaurants there.

00:05:16.400 Okay.

00:05:16.840 And what is omakase for people that don't know it?

00:05:19.400 Do you know it?

00:05:20.200 I think so.

00:05:21.040 Well, then tell me about it.

00:05:22.420 I think so.

00:05:24.260 Tell me because I don't think you fucking know, dog.

00:05:26.840 Omakase.

00:05:27.280 Well, hold on.

00:05:27.600 Let's sound it out.

00:05:28.220 Yeah.

00:05:28.800 Omakase.

00:05:29.560 Which is omakase in Korean is mom.

00:05:31.660 Mom.

00:05:32.120 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:05:32.620 And kase is?

00:05:33.740 Yeah, a house.

00:05:35.600 Mom's house.

00:05:36.380 Okay.

00:05:36.840 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:05:37.500 No, I don't know what Omocasa stands for, but I know what it is.

00:05:41.340 Okay, Omocasa.

00:05:41.900 Okay, so do you know what it is?

00:05:42.960 I do not.

00:05:43.700 Okay, so an Omocasa restaurant is, it's a set menu.

00:05:48.860 Yeah.

00:05:49.380 Right?

00:05:50.140 And they feed you in order.

00:05:52.320 They'll tell you what you're going to get from beginning to end.

00:05:55.860 And generally, my rule, if I'm with a date, you know, I have a girlfriend now.

00:06:01.380 What?

00:06:02.120 Yeah, dude.

00:06:03.200 Whoa.

00:06:05.040 What's happening, dude?

00:06:06.060 So what are you going to do?

00:06:07.100 This is what I do, dude.

00:06:08.640 What am I doing right now, dude?

00:06:09.860 Why are you doing it if you have a girlfriend?

00:06:11.400 No, I'm killing myself, dude.

00:06:12.380 Oh, yeah.

00:06:13.580 That's homokase.

00:06:14.420 Yeah, yeah.

00:06:14.840 I choke myself and I kill myself in the heart, dog.

00:06:17.840 I ain't jerking off, guy.

00:06:19.360 Oh, good.

00:06:19.960 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:06:21.020 As long as you ain't jerking off.

00:06:21.940 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:06:22.660 You got to do it 21 times a month, though.

00:06:24.680 That's what I heard.

00:06:25.660 Masturbate?

00:06:26.580 Ejaculate.

00:06:27.020 No.

00:06:27.540 Yeah, because you'll get testicular cancer.

00:06:30.840 No.

00:06:31.280 Oh, yeah.

00:06:31.620 There's guys that, like, some people, their eyes go bad or whatever.

00:06:34.780 Like mine?

00:06:35.400 Huh?

00:06:35.980 Hello.

00:06:37.100 no anyway um omakasa is this you have a set you look like a bug that played for the red hot chili

00:06:42.300 peppers right now dude you look what you look good i look good yeah i looked real good so omakasa is

00:06:49.200 like um set menu so we went to one place you look like a fireman like in san francisco kind of like

00:06:55.160 a little bit yeah i do but i was over i was in the fire yeah right or you just had something i got

00:07:01.720 lost and i'm like in the fire like i don't know what to do that type yeah yeah and you brought

00:07:06.700 Just a mouthful of water

00:07:07.860 That's the gayest thing, dude

00:07:09.480 If you're at a fire

00:07:10.600 And a gay firefighter

00:07:12.160 He's just spitting water

00:07:13.980 Out of his mouth

00:07:14.820 Or whatever

00:07:15.160 Yeah, you look like

00:07:15.540 An albino raccoon

00:07:16.580 Oh, yeah

00:07:17.220 Anyway, let me finish

00:07:19.160 With the Omocasa thing

00:07:20.120 And get to my point, dawg

00:07:21.360 Sorry, dude

00:07:21.900 I'm interrupting you

00:07:22.780 Yeah, yeah

00:07:23.240 I do want to pray

00:07:23.740 So anyway

00:07:24.060 We'll do the prayer later

00:07:25.660 Doug Mai

00:07:26.640 Is officially mayor of

00:07:28.460 Chinatown

00:07:29.300 Chinatown

00:07:30.200 Let's go

00:07:30.900 Can I finish my Omocasa

00:07:32.200 Yeah, that's fair

00:07:33.100 Why do you do this?

00:07:34.180 What do we do?

00:07:34.620 We're just bringing up information

00:07:35.260 I understand that

00:07:36.280 but we're going into a thing

00:07:37.220 and then you bring up

00:07:37.820 some Chinese firefighter.

00:07:39.440 He brought that shit up.

00:07:40.400 Yeah, so the

00:07:40.840 Bear Dick did that.

00:07:42.980 I'm not Bear Dick.

00:07:44.060 Oh, you're not Bear Dick?

00:07:45.100 That's Bear Dick.

00:07:45.780 Oh, yeah, yeah.

00:07:46.200 What are you?

00:07:47.840 Preemie Nick.

00:07:49.440 Nick was a premature baby

00:07:50.480 and look how far he's going.

00:07:51.400 Oh, yeah.

00:07:52.420 Did everything get mature?

00:07:54.980 I think my skull size

00:07:57.180 is a little small,

00:07:58.280 but everything else, yeah.

00:07:59.480 Anyway, look,

00:08:00.220 he's 32 years old,

00:08:01.340 but he'll never hit nine months,

00:08:02.820 you know?

00:08:04.340 So, that's the thing.

00:08:05.360 And we had this,

00:08:05.820 Lest we forget bro

00:08:07.240 Lest we forget dude

00:08:08.240 So we're at this restaurant

00:08:10.380 And they gave us the bones of a fish

00:08:14.260 And they flavored it like it was a potato chip

00:08:17.600 But it had the eyes and the brain

00:08:20.300 But just the bones of the fish

00:08:21.600 And you had to eat it

00:08:23.340 And it's like

00:08:24.880 I ate it and I looked at her

00:08:27.240 And I go you just gotta eat it

00:08:28.900 So when a penis comes out

00:08:30.540 You kiss the tip

00:08:32.100 That's basically why I

00:08:34.260 yeah what you know that's why i was that well that's what i told you before that when i said

00:08:40.100 that um i've kissed the tip of a penis you know what i mean what do you mean why do you keep

00:08:45.040 doing that it just makes the back of my neck i know but it's just it's a flavor thing oh yeah

00:08:48.560 yeah yeah yeah yeah i was that's how we got into the omakasa thing it's a flavor thing yeah well

00:08:53.440 you if you went to omakasa whatever they gave you you'd eat it right try it okay yeah yeah

00:08:57.860 it's like they had a penis we'd kiss it it's like a glory hole for food or whatever

00:09:00.980 yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah a glory hope for food well it's like

00:09:07.000 whatever's in there that's what you get or what that's what you get yeah so no matter what they

00:09:10.640 give you you just i just eat because it's supposed to be like you know i mean elegant or you know

00:09:16.040 what i mean avant-garde avant-garde it's epstein class yeah you know what i mean you know what i

00:09:21.920 mean yeah bb yeah yeah it's like off the epstein tasting menu or whatever it's just like young

00:09:28.900 fish or whatever please let's stop sorry let's move on let's move on we'll take that out yeah

00:09:33.160 yeah let me take that out but um so basically um i don't know how i got into the pp thing but let's

00:09:38.600 do a prayer okay no but you said you had tasted a little wiener or something or you had a little

00:09:43.480 years ago i tasted the tip and one was it on a what type of person was it on color yeah yeah or

00:09:52.900 style color can we go style yeah style rave oh at a rave no a raver a raver yeah yeah so you just

00:10:02.320 took a nip off a little raver wing yeah you know what you're saying which what you do yeah cultural

00:10:07.480 oh yeah glow sticks yeah you'd have glow sticks right oh and then you would right yeah and then

00:10:16.240 every once in a while you just come out right and you take a little taste of the

00:10:22.760 salty tip yeah dude that's yeah yeah it's cultural so basically you've been a couple major laser

00:10:28.620 shows is what you're saying that's exactly that's like exactly what i'm saying just say that yeah

00:10:32.940 yeah you never kissed a tip oh no man yeah how about you have i have you had opportunities still

00:10:38.260 i mean i've definitely i remember when i was a child you always try to get a real close dander

00:10:42.460 at your own wiener you know i don't know southern language dude you're gonna have to describe it to

00:10:47.420 me like i'm sure if you're a kid a lot of young uh we can't talk about children but yeah yeah a lot

00:10:52.420 of people that haven't grown up fully will try to like i've never tried it we'll try to just yeah

00:11:00.620 i never tried it i i have i never got i never if i had been raised with yoga right and i could bend

00:11:07.880 that way you know what i mean like i had like a you know i mean a master yeah as a kid you know

00:11:13.120 i mean bobby son you know we have to strengthen your spine yeah and you go why master right so

00:11:21.160 One day you can kiss your own tip.

00:11:24.260 Right?

00:11:24.960 Like I never had that master.

00:11:26.640 Yeah.

00:11:27.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:11:27.460 Fuck karate.

00:11:28.580 Yeah.

00:11:28.900 Yeah, fuck jiu-jitsu, right?

00:11:30.440 Karate's just kicking like invisible people.

00:11:32.820 I know.

00:11:33.360 It doesn't work.

00:11:34.080 Yeah.

00:11:34.360 Also in the UFC, you never say, he's a karate guy.

00:11:37.200 Right, right?

00:11:38.180 It's always jiu-jitsu, right?

00:11:39.760 Yeah, yeah.

00:11:40.220 Or boxing or kickboxing, right?

00:11:42.520 Yeah, it's never like-

00:11:43.080 It's never tai chi.

00:11:44.060 Yeah, it's never-

00:11:44.760 Yeah, no one's out there at UFC doing tai chi, right?

00:11:48.620 Am I right?

00:11:49.180 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:11:49.680 Yeah, yeah.

00:11:50.060 so it's like you know um yeah it's never one of his credits is like his mom wanted him to be able

00:11:54.880 to defend himself you know yeah yeah yeah yeah rarely you see taekwondo in ufc right it's usually

00:12:01.840 boxers kickboxers um jiu-jitsu guys wrestlers what is some of the stuff nick knows actually

00:12:07.660 so let's go to nick on that yeah uh yeah i mean he named all the big ones there's a few select

00:12:12.320 karate guys steven wonderboy thompson mvp yeah but jiu-jitsu and uh taekwondo i think are the

00:12:18.620 Biggest from traditional martial arts

00:12:20.880 From traditional

00:12:21.560 But generally it's wrestling

00:12:23.720 Kickboxing

00:12:25.020 Boxing

00:12:26.340 Right?

00:12:27.720 100%

00:12:28.280 Holloway is like one of the best strikers

00:12:31.060 With his hands

00:12:32.460 In the biz

00:12:33.440 You know what I mean?

00:12:34.760 So you don't even know who he is?

00:12:36.400 I do

00:12:36.600 He lives and trains where you just were

00:12:40.420 I know

00:12:40.920 And I smelled his essence around me

00:12:43.340 Did you go see him?

00:12:44.260 No I called him to see if he wanted

00:12:45.760 You know what I mean?

00:12:46.580 But he was going through something

00:12:47.680 Yeah

00:12:48.640 You know, as fighters do.

00:12:51.140 Dear Heavenly Father.

00:12:52.340 Okay, you want to pray?

00:12:53.220 Let's do it.

00:12:53.900 I just started.

00:12:54.980 Okay, sorry.

00:12:56.960 Dear Heavenly Father, Lord and Savior, Father of all,

00:13:00.480 thank you so much of the gratitude of the fish in the sea.

00:13:06.660 Amen.

00:13:07.340 And the deep fish, like the Greenland shark,

00:13:09.800 who lives 500 years, 500 years ago.

00:13:13.520 Does he really?

00:13:14.180 Sorry, go on.

00:13:14.700 No, see, that's what I'm talking about.

00:13:16.500 I forgot.

00:13:17.540 What do you mean?

00:13:18.120 Look at me right now, dude.

00:13:19.600 No, just look at me right now, dude.

00:13:20.640 Can I master in the prayer?

00:13:21.900 Yeah, because the prayer stopped because you interrupted.

00:13:24.540 All right, what?

00:13:25.600 Don't do that.

00:13:26.680 All right.

00:13:27.120 All right.

00:13:28.960 Greenland shark, all right?

00:13:30.520 Thank you for the trees, nature.

00:13:32.900 Thank you so much for the war.

00:13:42.120 What war do you mean, son?

00:13:44.000 The war within my heart, you know?

00:13:46.700 the war that i want to start with theo because i did one line in his movie and he put me on the

00:13:54.700 fucking poster that's my prayer dude sorry yeah i mean as if i was in the movie he put me straight

00:14:04.060 up in the middle of a movie poster dear lord when i had one fucking life sorry for swearing lord but

00:14:11.780 i'm very angry i have a war in my heart it's yeah yeah yeah yeah you know one line and no i'm not

00:14:17.940 done right i also had a patch over my face so most people didn't even know who was fucking me

00:14:23.320 you know lord please give me the forgiveness you know i mean and the solitude and the confinement

00:14:29.880 and the love for theo amen amen yeah oh thank you god us boys go watch it in your local theater

00:14:39.820 And streaming and streaming, you know what I mean?

00:14:43.140 Bro, you were, first of all.

00:14:44.380 No, no, first of all, what?

00:14:45.840 First of all, what?

00:14:48.680 First of all.

00:14:49.360 No, first of all, what?

00:14:50.440 Because let me tell you something, buddo.

00:14:52.440 I'm going to take my glasses off, dude.

00:14:53.900 Okay.

00:14:54.240 Let me tell you something, buddo.

00:14:55.100 I'll take my hat on.

00:14:56.040 I'll take my fucking beanie off, dude.

00:14:57.300 You will?

00:14:57.700 Yeah.

00:14:58.380 All right, hold on.

00:14:59.120 I'm going to put another hat on.

00:15:00.080 Yeah, I'm going to put this hat on.

00:15:01.720 All right.

00:15:02.020 All right.

00:15:03.440 All right.

00:15:05.920 Why is this hat over there?

00:15:08.260 I don't know.

00:15:09.060 This one's over here

00:15:10.300 Oh yeah yeah yeah

00:15:11.040 I didn't pick that one up

00:15:11.620 Let me tell you something

00:15:12.260 Butto

00:15:12.640 Alright

00:15:13.100 Okay

00:15:13.460 I'm not afraid of you

00:15:15.900 We're friends

00:15:17.880 Yeah we're friends

00:15:18.680 Yeah we're deep

00:15:19.260 Yeah I mean

00:15:20.200 We were in the war

00:15:21.280 Okay

00:15:22.480 Yes we were

00:15:23.460 Yeah we was

00:15:24.400 Right

00:15:24.680 This hat gives me like

00:15:26.140 Gone with the wind vibes

00:15:29.200 This hat gave me

00:15:30.700 Gone with the wind vibes

00:15:32.640 Okay

00:15:34.680 Or gone with the

00:15:35.700 Njins

00:15:36.260 Yeah

00:15:36.660 Njins

00:15:37.320 Yeah yeah

00:15:37.860 You know how you spell that word

00:15:38.760 N-G-U-Y-N. No, it isn't.

00:15:41.720 Spell it out.

00:15:42.500 N-G-U-Y-N.

00:15:46.100 N-G-U-Y-N. The most common Vietnamese

00:15:48.820 last name. Surname, yeah.

00:15:50.680 Yeah, Nguyen. Nguyen. Yeah. Oh, that's how they say it.

00:15:52.820 Nguyen. Okay, well.

00:15:54.480 Why did you have to look that up?

00:15:57.000 A lot of black people, if they're asking like

00:15:58.660 if something's

00:16:02.960 going to happen, they'll say that.

00:16:05.840 What do you mean?

00:16:06.720 What do you mean? That. Nguyen.

00:16:09.100 Yeah.

00:16:09.760 Like, what's up, Neguinn?

00:16:11.180 No.

00:16:13.100 You'll be like, dude, are we going or not?

00:16:14.960 And you'll be like, yeah, Neguinn.

00:16:17.880 Oh, I see.

00:16:19.080 Don't you think?

00:16:19.820 Yeah, I've never heard that.

00:16:22.560 You know what I mean?

00:16:23.140 Yo, what was that party like?

00:16:24.660 You know what I mean?

00:16:25.180 That was Neguinn like a motherfucker.

00:16:27.120 No, that's not it.

00:16:27.940 That's not it?

00:16:28.820 I don't know how to use it.

00:16:29.940 That's racial.

00:16:30.640 I'm saying.

00:16:32.180 No, that wasn't racial.

00:16:33.640 This hat seems racial, I think.

00:16:34.980 Yeah, yeah.

00:16:35.320 This hat seems very racial.

00:16:37.080 I'm taking it off.

00:16:38.000 Dude, Bobby.

00:16:38.760 Yeah, just take the hat top.

00:16:40.080 We'll put them back on in a minute.

00:16:41.440 I'm going to go back.

00:16:41.900 Let's go back to our regular car.

00:16:43.320 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:16:43.620 I'll put these on too.

00:16:44.360 Yeah, yeah, I'll put my glasses on.

00:16:45.800 Let's get regular.

00:16:47.120 So it was just a joke.

00:16:48.880 I'm grateful that you used me in the movie.

00:16:51.520 Yeah, for sure, dude.

00:16:53.200 I wish you weren't available for more days, for one.

00:16:55.700 That's insane.

00:16:56.720 You were shooting something.

00:16:57.500 That's pure insanity.

00:16:58.620 I have nothing going on.

00:16:59.940 It's your schedule.

00:17:00.520 This was 18 months ago.

00:17:02.140 Yeah, it was 18 months ago.

00:17:03.200 Yeah.

00:17:04.140 So anyway, I'm glad I wasn't involved in that.

00:17:07.220 I agree.

00:17:07.780 We probably should take you off of it.

00:17:09.640 What?

00:17:10.020 I didn't make this poster, but I did.

00:17:11.600 But I should have said something then.

00:17:12.940 I should have asked you.

00:17:13.900 No, it's fine.

00:17:15.000 I mean, you use...

00:17:16.000 Here's what it is.

00:17:16.980 If you had a line in my movie, I would put you on the poster.

00:17:20.120 Yeah.

00:17:20.540 Yeah, because it's like, you're a big draw.

00:17:23.820 But I should have asked you about it, though, probably.

00:17:27.560 Can I be honest with you?

00:17:28.600 Because I like to set boundaries now.

00:17:29.960 Yeah, for sure.

00:17:30.420 Because I'm on Lexapro.

00:17:32.560 I just got off.

00:17:34.280 Two ships passing in the night.

00:17:36.400 Why?

00:17:37.780 like through

00:17:38.600 the night of Hormuz

00:17:39.880 the straight of Hormuz

00:17:40.820 you know what I mean

00:17:41.980 we're just slowly

00:17:43.060 passing through the night

00:17:44.000 yeah like

00:17:44.340 we don't have any oil

00:17:45.160 we have no

00:17:46.020 yeah yeah yeah

00:17:46.680 we only have like

00:17:48.160 plastic containers

00:17:49.020 right

00:17:50.540 we're just collecting

00:17:52.120 semen

00:17:52.660 or seeds

00:17:54.340 yeah we're collecting

00:17:55.180 seeds

00:17:55.800 seeds and semen

00:17:57.000 we're just

00:17:57.600 we're just wandering

00:17:58.540 we're lost

00:17:59.240 we're lost

00:17:59.760 yeah yeah

00:18:00.160 but anyway

00:18:00.860 I don't even know

00:18:02.560 why we got

00:18:03.000 oh yeah we're passing

00:18:03.820 I'm on Lexapro

00:18:04.740 so you know

00:18:06.680 I like to set boundaries

00:18:07.660 is right and i like to be real and my i want to say something real to you is is that um i'm ready

00:18:13.780 to hear it sorry i get it i'm ready to hear it man no i just said it okay yeah i mean so i get

00:18:20.460 the bus bus it was just a joke the prayer right and um you know i mean but i have to admit when

00:18:26.840 i first saw it i was annoyed yep you know and i have to tell you that as a friend thank you yeah

00:18:32.700 I'm grateful that

00:18:35.760 when people ask me to do things

00:18:37.700 you know what I mean

00:18:38.160 you felt like we were using you

00:18:40.680 yeah

00:18:42.980 a little bit

00:18:44.480 but being on set with you guys

00:18:47.480 and having fun

00:18:48.200 I already expressed myself to Dave

00:18:49.780 I didn't know that

00:18:51.480 he didn't even mention it to me

00:18:52.800 no he showed me it

00:18:53.800 I didn't say it then

00:18:55.580 but later when I saw him I said it

00:18:57.260 and then he goes

00:18:58.340 next movie you'll get bigger role

00:19:00.240 yeah yeah this was the much wider used poster i think oh here we go what are you pakistan

00:19:07.700 uh you're pakistan all of a sudden trying to be middle this dude's poster yeah nah dude

00:19:14.240 right we're at war guy yeah dude nothing nothing you can do all right he has a 15 point plan i got

00:19:21.040 a 10 point plan they ain't mixing right like i got a six point i got a 40 yeah yeah it ain't

00:19:28.020 happening so my point is is this okay you know i really like you know i mean because i've heard

00:19:34.380 your stance on rogan you know i mean um about your feelings toward you know what's going on

00:19:41.400 especially in that area of the region i really in the middle east no dude in austin alhambra

00:19:47.840 oh yeah yeah yeah yeah you know what's going on over there yeah bro bubble shops are shutting

00:19:52.780 down we're shooting pool with j-rod today no you follow j-rod dude he's the best no i don't know

00:19:57.780 my point is is that i really you know i think i agree with you with a lot of these things that

00:20:03.440 you're saying you know i mean i don't say it out loud because um you know i'm a libtard

00:20:09.040 i've always have and i always will be i've always have been you think so oh yeah i mean who is we're

00:20:15.400 all liberal about some stuff i think we're all just whatever oh you are oh yeah yeah yeah no

00:20:20.140 I'm full-blown, yeah.

00:20:21.620 I don't give a fuck about no immigration.

00:20:23.600 I didn't know that, man.

00:20:24.540 And it's okay.

00:20:25.440 I don't know.

00:20:25.760 I mean, I don't, you know, I don't talk about politics, but I just want to-

00:20:30.260 Well, you never talk about it.

00:20:31.700 I never have, never will.

00:20:33.100 You never do.

00:20:33.640 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:20:34.440 This is the first time I've ever brought it up.

00:20:36.160 Yeah.

00:20:36.460 Really.

00:20:37.200 And I want to say to you that I like what you're saying about it.

00:20:40.420 That's all.

00:20:41.880 Well, thanks, man.

00:20:42.320 It's confusing.

00:20:43.260 It's confusing.

00:20:43.900 And, you know, all you have to do is you have to ask a question, and you go,

00:20:49.420 why is this happening and you do some research right and then you figure it out you have critical

00:20:55.160 thinking and you go and then you look at the past and it's a little confusing you know and i have a

00:21:02.000 lot of questions why are you looking at me like that you know i'm just trying to absorb what

00:21:05.740 you're saying yeah these are things that you know huh hello no i'm just saying right now you look

00:21:10.620 like a like kind of like a wasp that listens to 311 kind of why does it do why does it always have

00:21:17.800 to be a put down you're right sorry you know what i mean yeah you're right yeah i'm giving you a

00:21:23.700 compliment you look like i look like a mosquito from some sort of southern land yeah dude you

00:21:28.440 know put it back on then i'll give you a better one yeah give me another one all right you look

00:21:31.340 like the uh oh you look like the eighth dwarf homie yeah you know what i'm saying there's like

00:21:37.300 sleepy yeah what am i dude sleepy sneezy dopey yeah and ramen no no it's gotta be e oh yeah

00:21:44.280 Sleepy, sneezy, dopey.

00:21:46.360 Gookie.

00:21:47.120 No.

00:21:47.740 Why?

00:21:48.220 Gookie is not a word, I don't think.

00:21:49.940 Gookie monster.

00:21:52.400 Oh.

00:21:52.760 Oh, okay.

00:21:53.940 Where's the gookies?

00:21:55.580 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:21:56.680 I remember that.

00:21:57.380 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:21:57.960 Have you seen the gookies around here?

00:22:00.080 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:22:00.560 Oh, chocolate chip gookies.

00:22:02.460 Yeah.

00:22:02.860 And it's just a Chinese guy with a fucking handful of chocolate.

00:22:05.440 I remember the days of your back.

00:22:07.720 I was thinking about some of the stories you told back where you grew up and stuff.

00:22:11.880 Yeah.

00:22:12.100 Yeah, and it's so weird.

00:22:13.320 and I thought to myself,

00:22:15.000 what if there was a Korean to Yovan?

00:22:17.540 That'd be so funny.

00:22:19.360 Back when I leave, you know, in Busan,

00:22:21.960 we had a guy in our neighborhood.

00:22:23.840 We called him Crazy Achor.

00:22:26.200 Left eye was Chinese, right eye was Japanese.

00:22:28.540 We don't know what were communists.

00:22:31.200 I mean, that's like, you know what I mean?

00:22:33.300 Some of your stories, you know what I mean?

00:22:35.240 And the people that you grew up with is so,

00:22:38.000 it's so, so believable and true.

00:22:41.380 Would it translate to y'all's culture, you think?

00:22:43.060 my culture and y'all's culture we have the same fucking culture what the fuck are you talking

00:22:47.540 about what you know what i'm saying no no i don't know what you're saying i'm an american

00:22:50.680 no no no i'm tired of this shit i'm not saying yeah yeah you are probably you're doing this

00:22:57.840 thing again i'm not i've never done anything oh you're saying you're trying to separate us

00:23:02.680 when we're the same you and i have the same empathy all right you're a very sensitive guy

00:23:08.360 are you not yeah yeah yeah yes yeah yeah i think that you have um a tad bit of adhd

00:23:15.580 okay okay and these are things that you that's why we're friends because i understand these

00:23:21.800 things about you you know what i mean and you're a sensitive empathetic gay dude really whoa

00:23:28.820 dude i mean let's be real huh and you've kissed the tip i've never had yes you have you've kissed

00:23:35.100 the tip dude dude i never even went by anybody's winner in my whole life one dude like was trying

00:23:39.820 to get us to like play navy in his bathtub or whatever and dude i fucking i didn't i didn't

00:23:45.920 re-enlist huh i didn't re-enlist all right no i wouldn't dude i signed up for the draft for that

00:23:52.680 game yeah yeah i was on that boat dude but if you if you if they who would you fight for if they

00:23:59.120 a draft I mean here's the thing dude if they said because I'm 54 so they said there's a draft and

00:24:07.240 we're extending the age to 55 I think I have a compelling reason to get out what is it well

00:24:13.680 one of them is is that I will kill more of us than them I'll go and I'll go in a circle

00:24:22.100 and you just do a full circle.

00:24:26.920 Right?

00:24:27.700 And they're like,

00:24:28.460 dude, you killed Jim, Frank.

00:24:30.220 You know what I mean?

00:24:30.960 Like a little, like a yard waterer.

00:24:33.680 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:24:34.700 I would kill more people than them, right?

00:24:37.260 I also have like,

00:24:38.660 you know what I mean?

00:24:39.360 I get hungry real quick.

00:24:41.260 Like some of these boats that are out there,

00:24:43.720 I mean, US vessels are out there.

00:24:46.020 They're running out of food, right?

00:24:47.720 So if I was in a jungle fighting in a war,

00:24:49.720 I was just biting trees and shit

00:24:52.380 I would eat anything

00:24:54.880 Dude, if you got shot

00:24:57.100 I'm gonna take some

00:24:58.640 What, you'd eat part of my body?

00:25:01.480 The sum

00:25:02.000 What part would you have first, you think?

00:25:04.540 Be honest

00:25:05.200 The tip, dude

00:25:08.000 Bro, just have it all

00:25:11.300 If you're gonna have it

00:25:12.000 If you eat the tip off, dude

00:25:14.120 It's gonna fucking look so weird

00:25:15.680 I'm a POW, I said

00:25:19.060 No, this is what I want.

00:25:20.800 If I was a POW, don't eat just the half of my wiener a little bit.

00:25:24.860 I would cut all of it, your testicles and your penis, right?

00:25:28.660 And I would tuck everything inside a hole.

00:25:31.180 And then at your funeral, people would go, Theo, what was a fucking trans man?

00:25:36.160 Yeah.

00:25:37.040 I'd do tricks.

00:25:38.420 Dude, what if I was a trans man and they'd bury me in a trans am, dude?

00:25:44.820 I'll be there at the funeral.

00:25:46.080 But, dude, that would be crazy.

00:25:47.560 Yeah, just don't eat.

00:25:48.460 What would you, draft-wise, would you?

00:25:50.840 Well, let me finish this up.

00:25:51.980 Do you just threaten to eat my wiener in a fictional story?

00:25:54.040 I was kidding, dude.

00:25:55.180 Okay.

00:25:55.640 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:25:55.960 Well, say that then.

00:25:57.640 Because.

00:25:58.180 There's a comedy podcast.

00:25:59.620 Yeah, I understand that.

00:26:00.480 You understand that?

00:26:01.160 But when you show up with your energy.

00:26:03.320 What do you mean my energy?

00:26:04.420 Some of it seems today to be a lot and a little bit threatening.

00:26:08.800 Is that fair to say?

00:26:10.860 A little bit, a little bit.

00:26:12.260 Yeah, and you say I'm going to have a.

00:26:13.620 Pakistan again, huh?

00:26:14.540 Yeah, you're just like, I'm going to.

00:26:15.440 When you say I'm just going to nip off the end or whatever

00:26:19.340 Yeah I would never do that dude

00:26:21.400 But I don't want my wiener to be missing the end of it

00:26:24.440 And people are like what happened

00:26:25.200 It got nipped or whatever

00:26:27.260 Dude the honest truth

00:26:29.880 Can we say nipped or not?

00:26:31.400 Absolutely

00:26:31.800 Yeah I wouldn't nip

00:26:34.980 I wouldn't lick

00:26:37.300 You know what I mean

00:26:38.460 I wouldn't gargle

00:26:39.400 I wouldn't smell

00:26:41.740 What I'm saying

00:26:43.360 If you died in the war, and I would literally take your tags, right, I would bury you, I'd make a little tombstone, here lies comedian Theo Vaughn, and I wouldn't do anything, you know what I mean?

00:27:01.420 You wouldn't do anything in my body to desecrate it?

00:27:04.180 No, dude.

00:27:05.380 But everyone around me, other soldiers, yeah.

00:27:08.060 You think so?

00:27:08.880 Yeah, because I know you.

00:27:09.720 There's no way I'm going to eat the tip.

00:27:11.820 Or eat any part of your body.

00:27:13.840 Dude, I'd fucking have a little bit of your ass, boy.

00:27:16.860 Not your ass, but just.

00:27:17.880 Don't say it like boy.

00:27:18.740 Sorry, buddy.

00:27:19.820 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:27:20.700 Let me put this hat on.

00:27:21.580 Yeah, yeah, I'm going to put my hat on.

00:27:23.120 Bobby, can you scoot your chair to the left a little?

00:27:25.260 What?

00:27:25.860 Just scoot left a little when you can get seated.

00:27:27.580 Okay.

00:27:29.700 You know what time it is, Kurt?

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00:30:04.260 responsibly. Dude, I remember the summer, bro. I remember the first time I'd ever seen an

00:30:09.960 um, what's it called?

00:30:13.740 A eagle, bro.

00:30:15.600 First time I'd gotten out of school for summer vacation, right?

00:30:20.400 You remember, you know, that last day of a school year, you get out.

00:30:23.600 And I remember walking down the street because my bike,

00:30:26.920 somebody stole my bike and I saw that beautiful thing.

00:30:29.660 And I couldn't, I didn't even know they had, you could put that much.

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00:31:06.960 And if you just, dude, get me a little Mountain Dew diet in me and you put my god nephew in my arms and dang.

00:31:13.660 Amen, brother.

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00:31:33.300 um but um you look like Tokyo Drift AF bro right now thank you man another one huh huh

00:31:41.440 she's gonna keep going I'm just gonna look like Tokyo Drift is fuck it's a fun game um movie I

00:31:45.660 mean huh hello yeah I'm just saying okay so in a war now what would you do in a war yeah I would

00:31:53.600 okay hold on okay yeah yeah chill out man we're fighting again let me let me give you the

00:31:57.760 circumstances okay give me the circumstances yeah yeah we're doing Vietnam 2 there's gotta

00:32:02.200 be a sequel yeah because we lost the last one did y'all y'all i'm always on your team

00:32:08.620 what do you mean y'all i was born here guy okay yeah yeah i know yeah yeah you do yeah but i'm

00:32:16.560 saying yeah yeah i'd still be dude if i was an american soldier i'd still be wearing this hat

00:32:20.080 you would oh yeah that's good yeah so i can sneak on to the other side bro we would do with the

00:32:25.240 we would be in the best military ever you and i yeah oh yeah yeah dude we would fucking stay up

00:32:29.800 all night partying.

00:32:31.560 Oh dude, I would relapse.

00:32:32.860 Eating Twizzlers.

00:32:34.280 Oh yeah, dude, we'd relapse on opium, dude,

00:32:36.960 that our own government would sell to its soldiers.

00:32:38.800 Yeah.

00:32:40.200 Yeah, we'd be shooting opium,

00:32:42.280 listening to Purple Haze.

00:32:43.460 Some folks are born, made aware of the flag.

00:32:47.080 We'd be cutting on it.

00:32:49.120 What is it good for?

00:32:51.160 Absolutely nothing, say it again.

00:32:53.560 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, and we're like shooting opium, right?

00:32:56.260 And they're just like kissing tips.

00:32:57.760 Yeah.

00:32:58.600 Yeah, you'd be kissing the tip

00:33:00.860 With music, heroin

00:33:03.380 Just the tip

00:33:04.640 Bro, I just want to be straight and help my country

00:33:06.840 I'm straight too, dude, I have a girlfriend now

00:33:09.060 Dude, here's what we'd be doing, we'd be staying up late

00:33:10.660 And we'd get pissed off, and I would cut one of my nipples off

00:33:13.480 And just throw it, and you'd catch it in your mouth

00:33:15.180 Oh, that'd be cool, dude

00:33:16.200 That's how fucked up we'd be

00:33:17.120 That's partying

00:33:18.180 That's partying, dude

00:33:20.460 And then I would sew it back on your nip

00:33:23.600 Yeah, dude

00:33:24.960 Good God, what is it good for?

00:33:28.180 Absolutely nothing

00:33:29.640 Say it again

00:33:30.800 Born in the USA

00:33:33.920 Yeah, but anyway, we're Vietnam 2

00:33:35.920 Vietnam 2, what would you do?

00:33:37.980 You're drafted, Theo Van drafted

00:33:39.600 Born in the USA isn't a Vietnam song

00:33:42.540 That was written way after

00:33:44.920 I know, but I'm just saying

00:33:45.980 Don't sing that song then for that war

00:33:47.560 It doesn't even apply to both of us, so I won't sing it

00:33:49.680 Let's go on, what did you ask me?

00:33:51.080 What do you mean?

00:33:52.860 Dude, I'm USA all the way, dude

00:33:55.040 Are you?

00:33:55.840 Oh yeah, dude

00:33:56.560 Guess what one of my favorite restaurants are

00:33:59.780 Cracker Bar

00:34:01.100 Oh it is?

00:34:02.180 Am I American or what?

00:34:03.120 Cracker Bar

00:34:03.680 Cracker Bar

00:34:04.620 Cracker Bar

00:34:05.240 Yeah

00:34:05.540 Really?

00:34:06.480 I think it's the best breakfast

00:34:07.560 Dude

00:34:08.040 It's a good breakfast spot

00:34:09.160 It is

00:34:09.580 But when I walk in in the south

00:34:11.640 There always is like

00:34:13.140 Everyone stops working

00:34:14.300 Yeah

00:34:14.780 When I walk in

00:34:15.720 Yeah

00:34:16.040 Well there's kind of like a moment of remembrance

00:34:18.140 You think so?

00:34:19.740 They're not saluting me

00:34:20.840 No

00:34:21.160 They're like what the fuck is this

00:34:22.700 Well it's because some of it's just like

00:34:24.180 There's like an old

00:34:24.760 Like I remember this

00:34:26.000 like my my stepdad and he was in the wars right and he what war i don't know he was in at least

00:34:33.720 two two two out of three and he went to he would take my mom to the chinese buffet

00:34:39.420 it was called the war no no in town he would take this mama they had like this place called

00:34:44.660 yellow bellies or whatever it was a chinese buffet or whatever i don't remember what was

00:34:47.620 it called let's even look it up but he would take my he would take my mom over there i'm not even

00:34:53.000 joking dude huh yeah yeah he would i'm not joking bobby no it's not called yellow bellies it was

00:35:00.740 there's no way it's called yellow bellies dude bro yeah it was called yellow okay and they changed

00:35:06.180 the name they changed one of the letters on the sign yeah yeah to um to like yellow bells or

00:35:12.120 whatever oh yeah yeah oh that's better because the eye burnt out or whatever so it was just like

00:35:16.360 yellow bells and it was just like oh it was a belly with an eye at them yeah oh that's so funny

00:35:20.480 yeah yeah yeah yeah that's what i'm saying is a play on words oh yeah but it's um so anyway

00:35:27.140 what happened was he would after dinner he would always go sit my mom in the car and then he'd go

00:35:31.160 back in and he would like apologize to some of the workers that worked there for like things

00:35:36.980 that had happened when he was in uh different conflicts yeah yeah yeah wow but we've never

00:35:42.940 been in a conflict with china it's a chinese restaurant yeah so your uncle would go into a

00:35:49.100 Chinese restaurant and apologize

00:35:51.100 to a country. It wasn't my uncle. It was somebody that my mom

00:35:52.860 was smashing. Alright, whoever. Your mom's smashing.

00:35:55.020 Somebody my mom was smashing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So we've never been

00:35:57.000 in a war, really, with China.

00:35:59.640 So he's apologizing

00:36:01.280 to a group of people

00:36:02.880 that they have no idea what the fuck

00:36:04.960 he's talking about. They know.

00:36:06.900 No, they don't know. Chinese people

00:36:08.880 are like, oh, thank you so

00:36:10.960 much for apologizing

00:36:12.960 because we were feeling so bad about it.

00:36:14.860 No, but dude, not everybody.

00:36:16.680 This happens a lot in small towns, Bobby, and this is the truth.

00:36:18.680 a lot of small towns if they open up a place that is ethnical in the town and it's different yeah

00:36:24.620 they will hire anybody that even looks like that culture to work there so i could get a job at

00:36:30.060 yellow belly fuck yeah dude manage it huh management maybe assistant manager okay okay

00:36:36.060 you know maybe yeah they might let you manage on sundays yeah but what i'm saying is this

00:36:39.900 so he would then he would go in and kind of apologize and you have to think this is something

00:36:43.060 kind of crazy yeah so a lot of people went and fought in some of these wars right then they came

00:36:47.880 back and they never saw anybody from any of these cultures until like 40 years later when a restaurant

00:36:54.860 with some different ethnical food showed up in their town and that's the that's like the they

00:37:00.740 never that's kind of crazy to think that you know does it make sense to you let me get this right

00:37:06.160 yeah okay so what you're saying is you're let's just call this guy jim okay what do you want to

00:37:13.180 call him his name is charlie okay can i call him charlie huh yeah yeah yeah ironic that his name

00:37:19.580 is charlie i mean look and he was a nom you were gonna call him that no matter what

00:37:24.700 so yeah but sure you can yeah and he died and he wore a lot of rest in peace charlie he wore a lot

00:37:31.700 of gloves what you're telling me is charlie came back from the vietnam war yeah didn't see an asian

00:37:37.000 person for 40 fucking years yeah right and all of a sudden yellow belly opens a chinese restaurant

00:37:43.600 semi-chinese off chinese oh yeah yeah yeah semi-chinese all right and he walked in there

00:37:48.720 and because he hadn't seen in a vietnamese person in 40 years he went up to a chinese person

00:37:56.560 and apologized for the vietnam war and what he did yeah okay his heart had been changed

00:38:03.060 That's the truth Bobby

00:38:05.860 Bobby that's the truth

00:38:08.640 I swear

00:38:09.640 I know

00:38:10.340 But maybe go to a

00:38:11.520 And my mom would tell you

00:38:12.300 I understand that

00:38:12.740 But maybe go to a Vietnamese person

00:38:14.280 But they don't have all that

00:38:16.000 They don't have a Vietnamese restaurant in town

00:38:17.760 At that point

00:38:19.220 It's like you just take what you can get bro

00:38:20.860 They'll hire a fucking Mexican guy

00:38:23.720 Who's fucking

00:38:25.160 Who's high

00:38:25.920 So his eyes look Chinese

00:38:27.420 Yeah who's high

00:38:28.120 Yeah yeah yeah

00:38:28.520 A high Mexican guy

00:38:29.980 Yeah just like

00:38:30.700 You smoked up 24-7 when you walk here.

00:38:33.180 Whose eyes, you know, he's got those low-rider eyes, you know, like.

00:38:35.680 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:38:36.100 Oh, sometimes you see those.

00:38:37.820 Yeah.

00:38:37.960 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:38:38.840 Yeah.

00:38:39.280 Yeah, so what you're saying to me is that, and did he feel, did Charlie feel better about doing that?

00:38:45.380 He felt, no, I just think over the years his heart had been, like, he just kind of like, you know, something, you know, he just had probably some remorse.

00:38:52.920 Yeah.

00:38:53.160 And I feel empathy for that, but I'll tell you what the Chinese people were thinking at Yellow Belly.

00:38:59.540 What?

00:38:59.860 What the fuck are they talking about?

00:39:02.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:39:02.780 That's what they're thinking.

00:39:04.440 What are they talking about?

00:39:06.500 Nuh-uh.

00:39:06.920 Yeah, yeah.

00:39:07.420 Because they're not in the Vietnam.

00:39:09.840 Do you understand?

00:39:10.600 Yeah, I understand.

00:39:10.900 I feel like, no, no, no.

00:39:11.740 I think that there's...

00:39:13.580 No, I know exactly what you're saying.

00:39:15.500 No, because we do this all the time.

00:39:17.980 No, we don't.

00:39:18.680 Yeah, yeah.

00:39:19.240 No, we don't.

00:39:19.600 Yeah, we do.

00:39:20.040 We do this all the time.

00:39:22.300 And, you know...

00:39:23.800 What do you mean, we do this?

00:39:26.380 You're saying you and I have this conversation a lot?

00:39:28.080 Yeah, you and I always go into

00:39:30.400 And I don't want to do it anymore

00:39:32.420 I think this is the last time

00:39:33.560 Okay, give me the other hat then

00:39:35.580 Oh, you want that sharecropper hat, huh?

00:39:39.860 How you doing, man?

00:39:40.740 Huh?

00:39:41.380 How you doing, man?

00:39:42.340 I'm good, sir

00:39:43.220 Yeah, Billy Lee, that's my name

00:39:45.120 Billy?

00:39:46.060 Billy Lee

00:39:46.900 Billy Lee?

00:39:48.040 Billy Lee

00:39:48.720 I love you, I love you

00:39:49.660 I'm happy to be here today working for you, sir

00:39:51.400 What can I do for you?

00:39:53.300 I just want to apologize

00:39:54.300 For what I did to your people

00:39:56.720 In the Vietnam War

00:39:58.060 i apologize what's your name man my name yeah man my name's clark clark clark clark i apologize

00:40:11.180 but see how that feels you have hold on yeah you have nothing to do with the fucking vietnam war

00:40:18.760 yeah you're a white dude named clark wearing that hat because you just happen to get a job

00:40:22.820 as a busser at Yellow Belly, right?

00:40:25.540 And some guy, Charlie.

00:40:27.120 I've been working here for almost three months.

00:40:28.540 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:40:28.980 So, hey, Clark, I want to apologize

00:40:30.620 because I know you're wearing that hat.

00:40:32.120 You're probably, you know what I mean?

00:40:34.340 Yeah, I slaughtered a village.

00:40:36.520 You know what I mean?

00:40:36.900 And I feel bad about it, man.

00:40:39.000 So, hey, I want to, give me a hug, man.

00:40:40.560 We hug, right?

00:40:41.660 Yeah.

00:40:41.960 Give a little tip.

00:40:43.080 Five bucks.

00:40:43.880 That's what he would do.

00:40:44.480 He'd go in there and hit him a little extra.

00:40:45.720 Yeah.

00:40:46.220 And Charlie seems like he would hide the tip.

00:40:49.380 So there'd be a nice look.

00:40:51.160 It's like a heated rivalry.

00:40:52.580 You ever see that show?

00:40:53.360 I haven't seen that.

00:40:54.220 Yeah, yeah.

00:40:55.320 You know that show?

00:40:56.520 The gay hockey show?

00:40:58.520 Uh-uh.

00:40:58.980 Is that a show?

00:40:59.920 Yeah.

00:41:00.260 You never heard of Heated Rive?

00:41:01.420 It's the hottest show in America, dude.

00:41:03.100 Is it really?

00:41:03.580 I think I'm afraid Josh Morrissey's in it.

00:41:04.960 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:41:06.080 It's about these two top gay hockey players, but they're in love.

00:41:11.000 Oh.

00:41:11.260 There's a lot of gay love in it.

00:41:12.220 Is Gianni Paolo in it?

00:41:13.580 Yeah, yeah.

00:41:14.300 No.

00:41:15.480 I think Gianni and Josh Morrissey might be in it.

00:41:17.640 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:41:18.460 But anyway, in Heated Rive.

00:41:20.300 No shade, Josh.

00:41:20.960 There's a scene in Heated Rivalry when one of the hockey players passes a water bottle, right?

00:41:27.820 So I'm going to just show you what one of them does.

00:41:30.120 All right.

00:41:30.640 So they're not out.

00:41:32.600 You know what I mean?

00:41:33.160 They're like these manly hockey players.

00:41:35.700 Right.

00:41:36.180 Can you pick it up with that hand, please?

00:41:37.460 Yeah.

00:41:38.860 Yeah.

00:41:39.560 No, pick it up with that hand.

00:41:40.420 Okay.

00:41:40.780 Yeah, yeah.

00:41:41.160 And he passes it like this, right?

00:41:42.740 And then he does this.

00:41:45.460 How does that feel?

00:41:46.480 Do it with this hand so that people can see it on the camera.

00:41:48.160 Okay.

00:41:49.000 Do it with your other hand.

00:41:50.140 So do it with this hand?

00:41:50.860 Use your left hand.

00:41:51.420 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:41:52.180 I don't have a lot of control in this hand.

00:41:54.380 I'll try.

00:41:55.060 I don't give a shit.

00:41:55.880 Okay, so you pick the top.

00:41:58.900 Okay, pick the top.

00:41:59.660 So you grab it like this, and he goes.

00:42:02.500 What?

00:42:03.040 Yeah, and then you take the bottle.

00:42:04.880 Ooh.

00:42:05.340 That's like one of the first episodes.

00:42:07.580 It's kind of like a gay relay race.

00:42:11.140 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:42:11.880 It was a gay relay race.

00:42:13.280 But it's also a way to show, like, you know what I mean?

00:42:16.420 Right, there's foreshadowing.

00:42:17.600 Yeah, there's some foreshadowing.

00:42:18.640 So if I did that to you, you and I doing a show together at the store,

00:42:23.580 yo, Bob, you'll hand me a bottle of water, right?

00:42:26.440 And I handed you a bottle of water.

00:42:27.900 And you stayed ahead.

00:42:28.440 And I kind of just briefly with my finger rubbed your finger.

00:42:32.300 Yeah.

00:42:32.560 How would you feel about that?

00:42:33.860 I would feel like you were rubbing my finger,

00:42:35.280 and I would feel like you were trying to give me, trying to say something to me,

00:42:40.460 trying to say something to me with just your finger without even saying something to me that was gay.

00:42:44.680 And it would be something that was gay.

00:42:47.540 Yeah.

00:42:47.740 And I'll tell you this right now

00:42:49.360 I don't give a fuck

00:42:50.760 But would you do that to me

00:42:52.200 What if I was unconscious

00:42:53.160 No dude

00:42:54.460 You have to feel the finger

00:42:56.280 Oh

00:42:57.200 You know that slogan

00:42:58.500 Feel the finger

00:42:59.220 I don't think so

00:43:02.000 My grandfather used to say it all the time

00:43:03.620 Feel the finger

00:43:05.240 But do you

00:43:05.860 Yeah see

00:43:06.500 Yeah yeah yeah

00:43:07.080 So your grandparents can do that kind of shit

00:43:08.520 Yeah yeah

00:43:08.880 But my grandparents can't go into a

00:43:10.780 A

00:43:12.860 Chinese restaurant

00:43:14.180 Yeah a buffet

00:43:15.040 And

00:43:15.900 A Chinese buffet

00:43:17.120 A Chinese buffet and try and reconcile some differences.

00:43:20.840 That's what I don't understand.

00:43:22.180 I'm saying this.

00:43:22.740 You can reconcile differences with people that you have to reconcile differences with.

00:43:28.680 Yeah.

00:43:28.960 Not some other nation or people.

00:43:31.980 It makes no sense.

00:43:33.900 I don't know if that's.

00:43:34.720 I don't know if I agree with you.

00:43:37.040 Make your argument.

00:43:38.480 Make your argument.

00:43:39.920 I'm trying to make it.

00:43:40.720 Yeah, make your fucking argument.

00:43:41.920 You keep attacking me.

00:43:42.880 I'm not attacking you because what you're saying is nonsensical.

00:43:46.280 Bro, I'm just.

00:43:46.860 No, no, bro, no.

00:43:48.040 You don't know anything about – you think – here's what you think.

00:43:51.880 Bobby.

00:43:52.300 No, I'm sorry, Pakistan, right?

00:43:55.160 I've been here so many different times, right?

00:43:57.080 And I'm going to say what I'm going to say, okay?

00:43:59.040 You think – no, you think –

00:44:00.720 You're giving angry sharecropper energy right now.

00:44:02.980 Yeah, and I am one.

00:44:03.840 Okay.

00:44:04.300 Okay, I have a farm.

00:44:05.900 I'm a farmer.

00:44:06.500 Okay, I'll go do it.

00:44:07.520 Hold on.

00:44:07.960 You seem to think that the whole country – I mean, continent of Asia, right, is one block

00:44:16.000 that we have the same traditions, language, writings, culture, et cetera.

00:44:24.060 They're all completely different, right?

00:44:28.920 I believe you.

00:44:29.740 So it's like saying, oh, yeah, and Americans like somebody from the Congo.

00:44:34.000 That's not true.

00:44:34.900 Yeah.

00:44:35.060 It's not.

00:44:35.700 What if you said, like, okay, somebody from Mississippi

00:44:38.720 is like somebody that's from North Carolina.

00:44:41.360 They're similar.

00:44:42.540 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:44:42.880 They look similar, but they're different.

00:44:44.780 One of them probably watches Outer Banks, and one of them probably listens to the soundtrack at the gym of Mississippi Burning or whatever.

00:44:51.580 But the continent of North America, how many countries are in there?

00:44:55.120 On the continent of North America?

00:44:56.500 51.

00:44:57.160 No.

00:44:58.320 Isn't there?

00:44:59.200 Three.

00:44:59.680 Dude, you're fucking setting me up, dude.

00:45:01.680 No, I'm not setting you up, dude.

00:45:03.040 Yeah, you are.

00:45:03.400 You're a spy, dude.

00:45:04.340 You're Mossad.

00:45:05.120 I'm not Mossad, dude.

00:45:06.180 I'm the opposite.

00:45:07.280 You are?

00:45:07.760 Yeah, I'm in rubble.

00:45:09.260 You what?

00:45:09.760 I'm in rubble.

00:45:10.500 You're in rubble?

00:45:11.060 Yeah.

00:45:11.420 Okay, good.

00:45:12.120 You understand what I'm saying?

00:45:12.860 Yeah, yeah, I got you.

00:45:13.280 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:45:13.880 So what I'm saying to you is there's three countries on our continent, which are what?

00:45:21.520 North America, South America, Mexico.

00:45:23.240 No, no, no.

00:45:24.820 What is it?

00:45:25.680 See, that's why, you know what I mean?

00:45:27.360 Charlie shouldn't have said shit, dog.

00:45:29.380 But dude.

00:45:29.860 He doesn't understand.

00:45:31.080 I would like to.

00:45:31.740 Do you know politically things?

00:45:33.280 Yeah.

00:45:33.680 Yeah, yeah.

00:45:34.060 He doesn't understand.

00:45:34.640 There's Canada, America, and also Mexico.

00:45:39.480 Yeah?

00:45:39.940 Yeah.

00:45:40.900 Now, is Central America, no, that's a, what is Central America?

00:45:43.440 Yeah, that's not a part of okay. This is when the wizard runs out of his magic, right?

00:45:49.320 Give me the how many countries I mean, how many countries are in North America?

00:45:53.840 This is including Central America. Yeah, but it's Central America North America. I don't think so

00:46:00.340 Just just put in North America. How many countries are in North America, bro? No, just let me finish

00:46:06.960 It's never gonna

00:46:08.960 how many countries in north america 11 that's central america and stuff it's including but

00:46:14.180 yeah in this oh haiti yeah in north america there's three countries okay oh granada so it's

00:46:19.940 it's like okay yeah but here's my defense in defense of charlie is defense of who charlie oh

00:46:26.860 okay he would bro they don't what i'm saying is in in some in some smaller communities they will

00:46:32.920 open up a place that has a cuisine from an area even a realm right so realm what do you mean like

00:46:39.440 like lord of the ring shit yeah they'll open up with some fucking mongolorian uh mongolorian

00:46:45.080 restaurants those are my favorite or you know what i'm saying they'll open up a month uh mandarin

00:46:48.720 yeah or a mongolian stir fry place chinese adjacent they'll yeah chinese adjacent yeah

00:46:55.280 yeah yeah so they'll open that up bobby and then people the people that work there first of all

00:47:00.700 There's no way anybody there's no way to win this argument. It's fucking crazy. Let me take this hat off

00:47:05.780 There's no I'm gonna hear you all the problem with the hair. Oh, yeah, I don't like it

00:47:09.260 I want to just be my someone. Yeah

00:47:10.700 Yeah, so what there's no way to win this argument

00:47:12.900 But I'm so interested to see how you're gonna do it. Go ahead. This is my final rebuttal. All right, go ahead

00:47:17.040 And this is like the end of that movie. Have you seen a time to kill? No, give me another movie. All right

00:47:23.100 Oh

00:47:25.100 Lincoln lawyer, but I think I'll give me another movie. All right

00:47:27.900 bridge over the river kawaii yes i have okay so this is different than that

00:47:35.940 okay here's what i'm gonna tell you it's santino it is yeah hold on

00:47:40.080 yeah what's up you're on i'm doing theo's so project hail mary is one of the best movies

00:47:47.600 i've seen in years i know it was an amazing movie right what's it called bus boys i cried

00:47:52.580 i cried like four times i i told you dude that's one of the best movies i've seen in years what's

00:47:57.080 called? And then right after I went and I watched

00:47:58.940 Busboys, which is now in limited theaters

00:48:01.120 all around the country. Yeah, and how do you feel about

00:48:03.140 Busboys?

00:48:04.920 Busboys is up there

00:48:07.180 with some of the greatest

00:48:09.380 fantasy

00:48:10.820 sci-fi dramas I've ever seen.

00:48:12.880 Yeah, I agree. I agree. Loved it.

00:48:14.840 I loved every second of it. Hi, Theo.

00:48:16.900 Hey, brother. What's up, man? We miss you.

00:48:19.140 We miss you. Love you guys very much. Sorry to interrupt.

00:48:21.520 I'll call you later. We'll talk about the movie later.

00:48:23.400 But what was that movie called?

00:48:25.100 No joke. I'm going to tell you after we hang up.

00:48:27.080 Okay, let me get the

00:48:29.080 Project Hail Mary

00:48:30.040 Project Hail Mary

00:48:30.920 It's great, huh?

00:48:31.860 It's so good

00:48:32.540 I want to go see it

00:48:33.120 Is it in theaters or is it on VOD?

00:48:34.400 I would recommend you watch it in theaters

00:48:36.340 But you're not going to watch it

00:48:37.220 Yeah, well

00:48:37.640 Would Charlie watch it?

00:48:39.760 Huh?

00:48:40.100 Would Charlie watch it if he was alive?

00:48:41.860 No, he didn't

00:48:42.460 Well, then that's

00:48:43.060 You're part of the same

00:48:43.940 He liked to be in the shed

00:48:45.740 He liked to curse a lot

00:48:46.840 Oh, like the Unabomber

00:48:48.560 I don't know about that

00:48:49.760 No

00:48:50.220 Okay

00:48:50.940 But he took care of my mother

00:48:51.880 He had a small dog

00:48:52.880 But here's what I want to tell you though

00:48:54.500 Oh, yeah, finish the argument

00:48:55.460 Okay

00:48:55.880 A lot of times in small communities, Bobby

00:48:57.720 People, if anybody seems semi-Asian

00:49:00.840 If anybody seems

00:49:01.520 What's a semi-Asian?

00:49:03.020 A guy who's Asian, but also

00:49:04.440 You don't know if he's Asian, man

00:49:06.100 If somebody just has dark hair

00:49:07.900 It could be a white guy, but he has funny eyes

00:49:10.580 Even just a trans chick who can't see that good, right?

00:49:14.800 Like, people will fucking

00:49:16.700 It all works in that sort of place

00:49:18.540 It doesn't work

00:49:19.160 Because it's wrong

00:49:20.460 It doesn't work for us, bro

00:49:21.820 But in that kind of place, you just

00:49:23.180 You just take what

00:49:24.400 like you like you take what you can get right right and so they'll have people sometimes you'll

00:49:28.600 get a mexican guy that's been in a fire even and they'll be like oh this guy's taiwanese or

00:49:32.540 something he's not right but people don't know dude they just so i'm just saying like sometimes

00:49:36.960 that kind of shit happens and people try to make bridges where they can okay if there was a guy

00:49:41.200 that was slightly blue would you think that they were from the movie avatar i'm sure charlie would

00:49:46.460 have went up to him you know and offered him a fucking dude speaking of yeah yeah but let's move

00:49:52.620 No, no, I don't want to move on.

00:49:55.020 I think I see your point of view, right?

00:49:57.400 I'm not saying it's right or anything.

00:49:58.500 Yeah, yeah.

00:49:58.940 What I'm saying, though, is that this is a small town.

00:50:03.000 Yes.

00:50:03.580 You know what I mean?

00:50:05.040 Worldview.

00:50:06.620 But also.

00:50:07.800 No, no, no.

00:50:08.780 It's not New York shit.

00:50:10.040 Bring up that Asian fellow we had on here, that young boy or whatever.

00:50:13.760 Yeah, I remember.

00:50:14.360 I saw some clips.

00:50:17.040 Yeah.

00:50:18.160 Asian Ray, young boy Asian.

00:50:20.520 Bobby Kieske to your left.

00:50:21.700 Yeah, and listen to what he said one day

00:50:24.240 That brought me into some crazy

00:50:25.820 Racism that was happening

00:50:27.980 I don't think we'll find it there, it might stop us

00:50:30.240 But maybe it won't, maybe it will

00:50:31.320 I don't think it's on here

00:50:32.320 The full one might be on YouTube, short something

00:50:35.120 Can you just find it?

00:50:37.020 Dude, oh, did you see those

00:50:38.000 Listen how messed up this is, dude

00:50:39.600 Did you see those moving slot machines that are going on?

00:50:43.440 Tell me, I would like to see it

00:50:44.540 They move? Watch this, they move now

00:50:46.120 Oh yeah, they're going to be coming after y'all

00:50:48.420 Alright

00:50:48.880 look at this bobby whoa so say you're i know yeah you're gonna shit no no and it comes looking

00:51:03.780 no that's crazy but say your wife's like all right you can't gamble anymore tonight you have

00:51:08.960 to go to bed or whatever right and that thing comes knocking on your door later with like

00:51:12.240 oh yeah a bottle of wine oh that'd be crazy you know yeah or even just for like you put a hundred

00:51:17.960 bucks in it though no yeah but that thing could pin a fucking dude that thing could pin a an older

00:51:23.800 taiwanese man against a wall and make him spend every buck he's got yeah yeah yeah i see what

00:51:29.040 you're saying i'm just saying that's messed up yeah i think that this is too far is that what

00:51:32.800 you're saying yeah yeah yeah moving anything like you know like but atm machine too then

00:51:38.280 if they do this they do atm yeah what else machines that can they do um oh you know the

00:51:44.620 crane game? Oh, yeah.

00:51:46.520 That one I would like, though. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've never

00:51:48.520 gotten one, have you? Really? You haven't?

00:51:50.140 I can never grab it, dude.

00:51:52.420 Huh. Yeah. Sometimes I'll

00:51:54.400 have it hook onto, like, you know,

00:51:56.560 like on a plush toy, there's

00:51:58.540 like the little

00:51:59.320 whoever manual, like Made in China.

00:52:02.380 There's like a little bit of a white. I try

00:52:04.480 to get the crane, you know what I mean?

00:52:05.900 Go through the part of the ticket,

00:52:08.040 or the little label? The little label,

00:52:10.360 and I try to pull it up that way, but it somehow

00:52:12.480 slips, dude. Oh, dang.

00:52:14.500 I think that's a good strategy though but um yeah I just what is it what kind of age what kind of

00:52:19.780 what what kind of age is he this age no age oh uh he's Thai oh I like it he's Thai yeah tell me

00:52:28.760 about him what he said he's one he's Mexican or he's Taiwan sorry yeah he's Taiwan am I center

00:52:34.880 no I'm just saying look at the kind of shit that these kids are coming over here and saying

00:52:38.500 I want to hear it I would let you call me a ching chong

00:52:41.260 I'll give it a pass

00:52:44.960 Yeah just call it one time

00:52:47.100 It's okay I know you want to do it

00:52:49.040 I don't want to do it

00:52:50.320 It's okay like I'm cool

00:52:52.020 I'm gonna give it a pass you can say ching chong

00:52:54.700 I would not say it I would probably

00:52:56.120 I don't like ching chong that much

00:52:59.520 Why?

00:53:01.700 I would maybe call you like

00:53:03.420 a slot machine boy

00:53:05.400 or something like that something that Asian people

00:53:07.200 like to do look at this little kind of slot machine look at this little slot machine yeah

00:53:12.560 what do you mean by that like we slurp like ding ding yes yeah that's the slot machine that's not

00:53:18.400 i'm not saying that yes no i think that slot winner it's like it'd be like a slot machine

00:53:23.520 just adding like a when you hit the bonus on a slot machine crazy let me tell you something that's

00:53:32.960 That's unfair.

00:53:34.680 You know that guy?

00:53:36.300 We all know each other.

00:53:39.760 I can call Eun right now, dog.

00:53:41.620 Kim Jong-un?

00:53:42.300 That's right, dog.

00:53:43.180 You know he was supposed to play your role in the movie?

00:53:45.140 Who?

00:53:46.100 K.J. U.

00:53:47.900 I'm not even joking.

00:53:49.220 You're going to give him one line in a movie?

00:53:51.040 We offered him.

00:53:51.700 It's four lines.

00:53:54.140 Are you going to put him in the center of the...

00:53:55.340 It was the only...

00:53:56.200 Wait, wait, wait.

00:53:57.320 I was second choice, dog?

00:53:59.300 No.

00:53:59.720 Wait, wait.

00:54:00.340 I was second choice for four lines in your movie.

00:54:02.960 hold on

00:54:05.880 that's crazy dude

00:54:06.840 I don't know if it's

00:54:07.820 I don't know if it's true or not

00:54:08.920 yeah yeah yeah yeah

00:54:10.120 I believe you

00:54:11.080 yeah you were a producer

00:54:12.560 and you wrote the thing

00:54:14.140 dude

00:54:14.500 we barely got through

00:54:16.240 we made it during the fires

00:54:18.220 yeah yeah I understand that

00:54:19.640 listen about this Asian guy

00:54:21.220 okay

00:54:21.600 number one

00:54:22.520 I don't want to give him

00:54:23.280 any more air time

00:54:23.880 this guy's kind of fucking

00:54:24.760 you brought it up

00:54:25.900 alright

00:54:27.260 you made me watch the whole video

00:54:29.500 and then like watch it

00:54:30.400 I watch it

00:54:30.780 I can't say anything

00:54:31.660 Alright then go on

00:54:33.320 He's from Ching Chong

00:54:36.080 Go on Bobby

00:54:37.020 He's from the land of them

00:54:39.260 He ain't no American

00:54:41.060 I'm American

00:54:42.700 I know you are

00:54:44.960 So it's like Ching Chong hits different

00:54:47.780 With me than that Ching Chong

00:54:50.180 You know what I mean

00:54:51.360 Oh yeah

00:54:52.360 So it's like

00:54:53.680 That little octopus knuckle

00:54:57.380 He ain't shit

00:54:58.140 And let me say something

00:55:01.640 Slots

00:55:02.600 I know why you said that man

00:55:03.760 Cause a slot is a slit

00:55:05.820 Nah

00:55:06.480 Yeah that's why you said it

00:55:07.940 A slot is a slit

00:55:09.240 And a slit is a slot dude

00:55:10.360 Bro

00:55:11.960 I'm doing parables dude

00:55:13.760 Parables

00:55:14.860 Yeah let me say something about

00:55:15.860 Alright tell me something

00:55:16.600 Let me say something

00:55:17.420 Okay

00:55:17.840 Right

00:55:18.960 I give you permission

00:55:20.920 Maybe not on camera

00:55:24.400 But off camera

00:55:26.020 To say whatever you want to call me

00:55:28.240 Cause I'm not gonna take it personally

00:55:29.600 I don't do that

00:55:30.320 Yeah you do

00:55:30.960 you have and i've said i've called you certain things oh really yeah just to you off camera

00:55:41.100 to me was i there yeah is that what you're saying i was there

00:55:46.220 yes oh off camera you have yeah yeah yeah not behind my back though no not behind no i'll be on

00:55:52.280 you know what wow well i don't want to stress we're gonna break for lunch

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00:58:41.060 This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp.

00:58:44.780 Life's a journey, hell, and look, we're barely living.

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00:59:59.020 No.

00:59:59.580 The judge is going to

01:00:00.200 return to his chambers.

01:00:01.120 We'll be back after lunch.

01:00:01.860 Yeah, yeah.

01:00:02.300 Dun-dun-dun.

01:00:03.100 Dun-dun-dun.

01:00:03.820 Dun-dun-dun.

01:00:04.980 Remember that show?

01:00:05.560 Yeah, I love that show.

01:00:06.360 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:00:07.300 Yeah, I've said some stuff

01:00:08.320 behind your back.

01:00:11.380 Ooh, Bobby got that hitter, huh?

01:00:13.700 What's up, dude?

01:00:14.320 What flavor is it?

01:00:15.280 That's fucking tobacco, dude.

01:00:16.760 Yours is just tobacco flavoring.

01:00:18.040 Wow.

01:00:18.580 I quit smoking over a month ago,

01:00:19.980 That's why sometimes I'll take a hit.

01:00:22.660 That's insane, bro.

01:00:24.000 Yeah, that's how I quit.

01:00:25.520 The same way I'm fucking not quit.

01:00:28.480 What do you mean, dude?

01:00:29.120 That's not quitting.

01:00:31.060 Dude.

01:00:31.300 If you're smoking a pack of cigarettes a day, 20 cigarettes.

01:00:35.840 Yeah.

01:00:36.280 20 cigarettes and I let me one.

01:00:40.680 Have you heard that song?

01:00:41.420 No.

01:00:41.700 Morgan Wallen?

01:00:42.300 No.

01:00:42.740 Dude, I went to his concert.

01:00:43.260 I don't know the modern shit.

01:00:44.660 I went to his concert the other night.

01:00:45.960 Dude, I saw fucking Karen Carpenter at the Coachella.

01:00:49.520 i didn't know one song really yeah yeah she came out she came out and i had not one song no

01:00:56.580 sabrina sabrina carpenter oh yeah karen carpenter died her and her and madana yeah yeah dude no

01:01:03.500 morgan wallen dude you bro you gotta go see him no i'm not gonna see bro yeah you gotta do his

01:01:08.240 walkout with him bro have you ever seen he does walkouts where people walk out with him nick

01:01:11.380 saban freaking walked out with him bobby yeah i don't even know who nick saban is dude i only

01:01:15.500 know people it's not nick saving dude like he's a guy who freaking makes coupons he might be saving

01:01:19.720 something it's nick saban yeah yeah yeah yeah listen to me guy bro he loves you dude oh yeah

01:01:25.680 and i love him back dude but what i want to say to you is this last night we left the liquor talk

01:01:31.180 bro bro last night we left the liquor talk that's good stuff dude listen to me dude i don't i've

01:01:39.020 been listening it's a not doing it's a regional thing dude you're out there in nashville

01:01:44.740 You know what I mean?

01:01:51.200 All your shit, right?

01:01:52.760 We don't do shit like that, dude.

01:01:54.240 You're right, you're right.

01:01:54.780 You know what I mean?

01:01:55.120 Spoons.

01:01:56.600 That's your shit, dude.

01:01:58.200 You know what I mean?

01:01:58.820 We do different shit out here in L.A., dog.

01:02:01.040 What?

01:02:01.540 Yeah, rap, punk bands.

01:02:03.920 You know what I mean?

01:02:04.420 You all are.

01:02:05.360 You're right.

01:02:06.700 You know what I mean?

01:02:07.720 Yeah.

01:02:08.020 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:02:08.740 Last night my bus fell down a river.

01:02:12.000 Like music I don't even relate to

01:02:14.960 Last night my dog came

01:02:17.040 Said hello

01:02:18.160 Those are like that's your music

01:02:20.820 You mean my corn's growing

01:02:23.280 Like

01:02:24.160 Sombreros

01:02:26.000 Like Nevada

01:02:27.480 I'm sorry

01:02:28.720 Let's Friday Country Zone real quick

01:02:30.120 I woke up and I couldn't see

01:02:35.420 This morning

01:02:36.480 Then I realized

01:02:41.380 It was night, it was night, so I had to re-download my iPhone software.

01:02:51.000 I put my white hat through the door.

01:02:56.660 Yeah, amen, bro.

01:02:57.580 Yeah, amen.

01:02:58.020 I like the ending.

01:02:59.020 It's like CBD.

01:03:01.320 It's a CBD.

01:03:02.240 TBD.

01:03:03.780 Why'd you say CBD?

01:03:04.360 To be decided.

01:03:05.000 It's like a TBD.

01:03:05.940 Oh, TBC, you said.

01:03:07.420 What?

01:03:08.420 Dude, did you see that gay volleyball?

01:03:10.060 No, hold on a second.

01:03:11.380 We keep, bro, we're not, we don't even know what we're saying, bro

01:03:14.300 That's the thing, that's the thing

01:03:15.920 When you and I are together, right

01:03:18.840 Just say it, man

01:03:19.680 There's anxiety, and we want to get to the next thing, right

01:03:23.360 Because we think that silence is bad

01:03:26.620 That's a good point, huh

01:03:27.620 I do feel like that, have you always felt like that?

01:03:29.300 No, but what I realize, it doesn't matter whether you and I

01:03:32.820 It's gonna be good

01:03:34.720 Well, let's sit here

01:03:35.700 It's gonna be good, and there's no need for anxiety

01:03:39.100 and there's no need to like what's clippable and you know because when you and i are together

01:03:44.200 sometimes it gets clippable and it becomes sometimes viral yeah and when i when i was

01:03:49.600 coming here today there's a reason why i haven't done your shit in a long time is because i don't

01:03:53.940 like the pressure of doing it with you specifically because if we don't create magic right then it was

01:04:00.780 just a waste i brought that up to nick today before you came yeah yeah and i prayed about

01:04:05.020 before this yeah but what i believe is is that um then when i was driving i was like i don't care

01:04:11.160 whatever it is it is yeah and i'm okay with that you know i mean because um we're both doing well

01:04:18.320 in life and um i think i believe that you're a very good person i'm a good person and um

01:04:24.300 just not rush through it man i'm here as long as you need me you know i mean but i think we have

01:04:29.660 something i mean where's bear dick at he's over there yeah bear dick

01:04:35.260 Yeah.

01:04:35.580 Do we get stuff already?

01:04:37.520 Yeah, I think you gave the Clippers some fuel, yeah.

01:04:40.160 We got some stuff, right?

01:04:41.560 You got more than enough.

01:04:42.440 We got more than enough, so what I'm saying is that...

01:04:45.340 Can you slide to your right a little bit?

01:04:46.500 You're in the shot.

01:04:47.500 I know, I know.

01:04:48.260 Honestly, dude, what you're doing right now is...

01:04:50.300 You said to go to the left, now I've got to go to the right?

01:04:52.440 We haven't had this problem yet.

01:04:53.740 You're full of energy.

01:04:56.400 Does he look on center to you?

01:04:57.820 He's just creeping into your shot, so move your mic over.

01:04:59.860 Okay, God, I've got to get him.

01:05:00.680 Am I okay here?

01:05:01.680 Move your mic and you're good.

01:05:02.780 Bobby, look at this right here.

01:05:03.720 This is you in the movie.

01:05:05.020 this is your anxiety

01:05:07.920 oh there you go

01:05:08.780 that's the guy you beat out

01:05:10.920 first of all

01:05:13.000 that's the guy you beat out

01:05:17.780 that's Kim Jong Un as me

01:05:20.480 in the movie dude

01:05:21.440 no he came in for a read

01:05:22.780 that's the guy you beat out for your role

01:05:24.860 oh so he came from North Korea

01:05:27.860 and read

01:05:29.600 went on set and read for you

01:05:31.840 and he didn't get it

01:05:32.720 Yeah, yeah, and then you're like what other I mean chong chongs that we know and then you called me

01:05:38.660 How many people did you call before you called me? Did you call Ken Jeong? Did you call Jimmy O. Yang?

01:05:44.420 I did send a text to Kim Jong. He didn't text me back. Ken Jeong. Kim Jong. Yeah, yeah

01:05:48.960 And I did also we did reach out to Ken Young or Ken John

01:05:56.480 Kim Jong-un. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, that's Ken Jeong. That's Ken Jeong. So he said no. He said no

01:06:01.820 But he did say though

01:06:03.520 They wrote a letter back

01:06:04.600 Like his affairs person

01:06:06.140 And they said

01:06:07.640 That they loved

01:06:09.020 David Spade

01:06:09.620 And Dickie Roberts

01:06:10.480 I thought that was just

01:06:11.220 Hilarious that they put that in there

01:06:12.660 That was pretty cool

01:06:13.240 Who else did you offer

01:06:13.920 Before you offered it to me

01:06:14.940 We offered it

01:06:15.640 You were second

01:06:17.080 Oh so Kim Jong Un

01:06:20.180 The dictator from North Korea

01:06:21.600 And then I was second

01:06:23.140 100%

01:06:24.080 100%

01:06:24.920 Thank you so much

01:06:26.120 You bet

01:06:26.500 You got it

01:06:27.760 If you got dictator

01:06:28.980 Like Victor Orban

01:06:30.920 And then we got Dick Taster.

01:06:34.620 So I think we did good.

01:06:36.620 Dude, it's not fair what you just said.

01:06:38.100 Bro, you didn't have a lot.

01:06:39.500 Yeah, I just, yeah, I licked the tip.

01:06:41.320 I only had a little.

01:06:42.360 I only had one piece.

01:06:43.820 Yeah, I only had omakase.

01:06:45.760 I omakase'd it.

01:06:47.380 Okay, dude.

01:06:48.680 That's all I did, right?

01:06:49.780 And you know this about me, dude.

01:06:51.380 I do.

01:06:51.900 I might be 5% bi.

01:06:54.420 And that's not a lot.

01:06:55.460 That's not a lot, dude.

01:06:56.520 Bro, these days?

01:06:57.480 These days, dude, they go all the way at 100%, dude.

01:07:00.180 Yeah, yeah.

01:07:00.620 You know what I mean?

01:07:01.220 And it's like, I didn't get that.

01:07:03.240 No.

01:07:03.620 I would be okay if I had 100%, but I'm only 5%.

01:07:07.640 Dude, if I was gay, I would just, I think still-

01:07:09.940 I think you're 3%.

01:07:10.940 3%?

01:07:11.800 Yeah, yeah.

01:07:12.380 I think in the right circumstances, you would kiss the tip.

01:07:15.780 I would-

01:07:16.040 Henry Cavill.

01:07:17.260 Who's Henry Cavill?

01:07:18.380 Superman.

01:07:19.300 The one before.

01:07:20.120 No, I'm not having some guy who's working all the time,

01:07:22.840 out meeting people at night and shit like that.

01:07:24.960 Okay.

01:07:25.660 Here's what I will say this.

01:07:27.180 if i if i didn't get married to a woman at some point and there was like a cool dude who was not

01:07:34.980 trying to like do any sex or touch my ass or anything but wanted to chill separate rooms

01:07:40.600 maybe he is a chef or something maybe if i also don't have to talk to him every day okay

01:07:48.280 so it's one percent yeah yeah okay you're one percent one percent yeah or even dude i dated

01:07:54.400 a chick with hard tits and that freaking kind of it was a lot dude i did it at hot chick yeah with

01:07:59.420 sarah connor ass no you know sarah connor from terminator no yeah like she was buff right so

01:08:07.200 her ass felt schwarzenegger like oh yeah you know what i mean where i like it when it's like there's

01:08:12.200 like some fat you know what i mean yeah and she was beautiful but her ass was sarah connor and i

01:08:18.700 couldn't do it yeah yeah yeah like because i'm not the terminator yeah you know what i mean i don't

01:08:23.740 have those robotics some ass to a woman they go to the gym so much in the mass has a little bit

01:08:28.120 of hair on it that's the craziest thing yeah like how much hair not a lot but just enough

01:08:32.740 where you feel they shaved a couple times yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah and that's not

01:08:36.300 crazy i don't care yeah but it is a surprise it's a surprise sometimes when you go in the cave and

01:08:41.680 you see some foliage yeah you know what i mean that i don't like oh really yeah i like my caves

01:08:46.880 clean okay yeah yeah yeah and you have we have now the technology to do it i don't want foliage

01:08:51.780 because I'm not like a cave dweller.

01:08:53.940 Dude, when you go back in the 1400s,

01:08:55.660 you think and eat a little bit of ass or what?

01:08:57.980 In the 1400s?

01:08:59.140 I would pass on that, dog.

01:09:00.760 All right.

01:09:01.160 Yeah, man.

01:09:01.640 You get the measles.

01:09:02.940 Oh, you will, huh?

01:09:03.720 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:09:04.160 You'll get some sort of like,

01:09:05.260 you know what I mean,

01:09:05.560 thing that would kill somebody back then.

01:09:07.540 Yeah, yeah.

01:09:07.960 I'd have like one of those Asian,

01:09:09.160 you know what I mean?

01:09:10.120 Yeah.

01:09:10.420 I get what I mean?

01:09:11.780 COVID masks.

01:09:12.840 You'd get that Holy-O-Polio.

01:09:15.080 You know what I'm saying, bro?

01:09:16.480 Would you eat 1400s?

01:09:17.820 Pollo-Polio?

01:09:20.320 No, dude.

01:09:20.960 I'm not doing that shit.

01:09:21.780 Dude, I will tell you this, bro.

01:09:23.560 I don't know.

01:09:24.240 I wouldn't even answer that question.

01:09:25.460 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:09:27.020 Crazy, dude.

01:09:27.880 You asked me.

01:09:28.860 I know.

01:09:29.640 Yeah.

01:09:30.100 I wondered, but here's the thing.

01:09:31.320 Let's just, before you move on,

01:09:32.660 because you're of your anxiety,

01:09:33.600 I know you're doing your anxiety.

01:09:34.040 You're right, I'm getting anxiety.

01:09:34.960 Let me chill out.

01:09:35.400 All right, chill out for a second, okay?

01:09:37.260 You know what I mean?

01:09:37.640 Because I'm a podcaster as well.

01:09:40.640 I know, dude.

01:09:41.120 You're a professional.

01:09:41.740 You guys have one of the top 10 podcasts in the world.

01:09:43.540 So are you.

01:09:45.280 That's crazy to think that, though.

01:09:47.320 I don't think about it.

01:09:48.900 But it's still crazy to think.

01:09:49.920 It's crazy just that it's

01:09:51.780 People tell me, I go, oh, I guess

01:09:54.060 What is your podcast big in

01:09:55.940 Like in other parts of the world

01:09:57.980 I don't know, I don't know the stats

01:09:59.660 I don't know the stats and it's like

01:10:02.000 You know, it's like that old term

01:10:04.080 You know what I mean, I don't live in the results

01:10:05.860 Oh, a coke

01:10:07.620 A cooked pot doesn't boil or whatever

01:10:09.700 What is that term? What is it?

01:10:11.540 A watch pot doesn't boil

01:10:12.620 A cooked pot does boil though

01:10:16.220 A cooked pot does boil, yeah

01:10:17.360 yeah yeah yeah you know how about this what are you when you use terminology sometimes yeah think

01:10:25.500 about it first i think that's one of your problems you know i mean what when it pops into your head

01:10:31.240 i don't think there is that thing that goes let's think about it yeah you just say what's that term

01:10:35.840 cook pot cook pot you know i mean boils you know i mean and it's like yeah it's not the right thing

01:10:40.940 so it's i think that's a part of your anxiety yeah you're right right it's hard for me to leave

01:10:45.160 that space in a place i'll just like if something's like somebody if two people are sitting there and

01:10:48.800 nobody's talking it gets really uncomfortable yeah you're that way too bobby no i've changed

01:10:54.300 for me are you serious oh yeah i'm dude i'm so serious what would you really do to change that

01:10:59.160 because that's a big thing a lot of people deal with it because i don't really care it really

01:11:02.760 anymore i have empathy and i care about the world and that's not what i mean i don't care like

01:11:08.880 whatever direction my life takes i'm just gonna go with the flow and it's not my responsibility

01:11:15.260 or i'm not a psychic i don't know what's going to end up happening to me what question you

01:11:20.120 answering right now what i'm asking you is uh what do you mean if like say you and i are talking

01:11:24.720 and or say you're talking to anybody right and it becomes a moment of silence this happens to

01:11:28.120 me a lot in relationships if there's a moment of silence it's hard for me to just sit there

01:11:31.900 and let there be silence yeah but that's you said that you've changed with that so what i'm asking

01:11:36.560 is how have you changed

01:11:37.440 what have you done

01:11:38.020 that's changed

01:11:38.620 because that's kind of

01:11:39.380 I think therapy has helped

01:11:40.280 I think Lexapro has helped

01:11:41.720 you know sometimes

01:11:42.640 I'll tell Ritalin

01:11:43.800 for my ADHD

01:11:44.520 I didn't take any today

01:11:46.140 how much pro you on

01:11:47.080 yeah

01:11:47.500 pro what

01:11:48.360 Lexapro

01:11:48.940 Lexapro

01:11:49.600 yeah

01:11:49.900 10 milligrams I think

01:11:51.440 okay that's a low dose

01:11:52.140 but it's a good dose

01:11:52.480 it's a dose

01:11:53.280 yeah yeah yeah

01:11:53.860 you know it's like

01:11:54.900 when they say

01:11:55.600 when you're performing

01:11:56.720 a lot of comics

01:11:57.620 hate the silence

01:11:58.380 but that's when

01:11:59.300 they're listening

01:11:59.840 right

01:12:00.740 and I feel so comfortable

01:12:02.400 with you

01:12:02.960 because we've known

01:12:03.600 each other for so long

01:12:04.720 that we could

01:12:06.500 take a break we don't always have to like chase a laugh or say something super interesting that's

01:12:13.760 the thing it's like we perform for the algorithm and for what people are going to want to watch

01:12:19.680 i think with you with you sometimes it does turn into that or this is the first time i've ever

01:12:24.420 thought that so it's funny that you said that before you came over whenever you got over here

01:12:27.760 because i did think that didn't we talk about it nick i said um what did we say what what are we

01:12:33.080 going to talk about and i was like let the moments happen yeah yeah and and if the moments don't

01:12:38.160 happen i'm okay with that's okay that's okay yeah because we'll podcast again yeah and again and i

01:12:44.540 don't want to lose out on a chance to have a good time with you we're already i'm already having a

01:12:48.080 blast me too you know i mean the things that you talked about charlie was insane it's not it's not

01:12:54.420 that yeah yeah and and yeah it's fucking insane what and that's already that's already something

01:13:00.180 that people are going to go, what the fuck is he talking about?

01:13:02.680 Because he's a small town, like, he likes to go out to eat or whatever.

01:13:05.600 No, no, no, I don't want to re-

01:13:06.840 Don't do your fucking confused white face.

01:13:10.400 You guys do that a lot, your confused white face.

01:13:12.640 Who does? Who are you?

01:13:13.320 You, you know, you guys.

01:13:14.600 You guys do that a lot.

01:13:15.340 Oh, you think we're all-

01:13:16.120 We didn't start a war.

01:13:18.200 What?

01:13:19.380 And your eyes cross.

01:13:20.940 What happened?

01:13:22.060 You know what I mean?

01:13:23.060 You started it.

01:13:24.960 You started it.

01:13:26.200 We didn't-

01:13:26.760 Yeah, you started it.

01:13:27.880 oh it's been going on for 47 years

01:13:30.740 that's fucking

01:13:31.640 they're about to have a nuclear weapon

01:13:34.520 come on man

01:13:35.560 don't do confused white face I get it

01:13:38.240 I know the tone

01:13:39.200 I've been around a long time I know confused whites

01:13:42.300 that's Trump and his fucking

01:13:43.640 I know but sometimes you're a confused white

01:13:46.520 you think so

01:13:48.180 that's Trump and his fucking missile monkeys

01:13:49.860 but those missile monkeys are also confused whites

01:13:52.760 they're monkeying around

01:13:54.380 I know

01:13:55.060 and what I'm saying is that

01:13:57.220 you know what I mean? Don't confuse white me, dog.

01:13:59.720 You're right. You know what I mean?

01:14:00.960 Because I'm a confused yellow. No, you're not.

01:14:03.780 Sometimes I am.

01:14:05.220 Really? I get confused, yeah, but

01:14:06.880 the Lexapro's helped. You always seem confident.

01:14:08.920 Has it really helped you? What has it helped you with?

01:14:10.780 I'll say this, you seem a little less shy.

01:14:15.220 Because sometimes you get shy.

01:14:16.940 You ever try to put your hand in an aquarium and try to get

01:14:19.000 one of the fish out of there? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:14:21.160 Like a koi fish? Or just at a party

01:14:23.100 or whatever, and they keep going.

01:14:24.660 They will not come into your hand.

01:14:26.140 Yeah, because it's a defense mechanism.

01:14:27.560 But that's how you are.

01:14:28.640 No, but they're like, you know what I mean?

01:14:30.860 A crazed white is, you know what I mean, trying to grab me.

01:14:33.560 A confused white, I mean.

01:14:34.480 I'll keep my hand open and just wait until something comes in it.

01:14:36.940 Will you clutch it?

01:14:38.480 No, it's kind of softly open like this.

01:14:40.320 Do they ever do it?

01:14:41.380 Never.

01:14:41.880 Never.

01:14:42.480 You know why?

01:14:43.020 Why?

01:14:43.640 They're scared.

01:14:45.800 That's how I remind me of you.

01:14:47.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:14:47.700 That's the behavior I get out of you.

01:14:48.600 Yeah, I'm not really that scared anymore.

01:14:50.580 Good.

01:14:51.040 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:14:51.500 Are you scared?

01:14:52.320 Fuck yeah, no, I'm happy to hear that.

01:14:53.740 No, are you scared?

01:14:54.600 Are you scared?

01:14:55.060 I've gone through a period recently in the past few months

01:14:57.760 Where I've definitely dealt with some fear

01:14:59.240 I think scared of like

01:15:01.740 Yeah I don't know dude

01:15:04.420 Things get scary in the world

01:15:06.340 And you think like

01:15:07.900 If you say certain things

01:15:09.960 That people are going to do something bad to you

01:15:11.900 Or something bad could happen to somebody you know

01:15:13.760 Do I get death threats and things like that

01:15:15.940 Yeah that's scary

01:15:16.680 You get those?

01:15:19.180 Sometimes I have

01:15:19.840 From who?

01:15:22.460 I blocked them immediately

01:15:24.000 I don't know who.

01:15:24.580 Have you ever gotten a stalker before?

01:15:26.880 Oh, yeah.

01:15:28.200 No way.

01:15:29.340 Have you?

01:15:30.380 No.

01:15:31.980 Never.

01:15:32.920 Can I tell you something that you're confused about again?

01:15:35.700 Yeah.

01:15:36.100 Right?

01:15:37.240 And this has happened to me four or five times.

01:15:41.620 I'll have a, I'll match somebody with Raya.

01:15:45.740 I'll take them on a date.

01:15:47.760 And they'll go, what's Theo up to?

01:15:50.300 And I go, because I was hanging out with Vancouver.

01:15:51.980 and then like

01:15:52.980 I couldn't get in touch with him

01:15:54.480 and it's like

01:15:55.340 you know

01:15:56.000 like tell me

01:15:56.600 you know right

01:15:57.260 and four matches

01:15:58.720 were

01:15:59.240 listen hear me out

01:16:00.640 I'm listening

01:16:01.040 four of my Raya matches

01:16:02.240 right

01:16:02.700 were because

01:16:03.400 they were trying to get to you

01:16:04.620 and that's when I deleted Raya

01:16:06.380 you're off

01:16:07.340 I'm off of it

01:16:08.480 I've never been on it

01:16:09.620 I know

01:16:10.520 but my point is

01:16:11.300 is that

01:16:11.720 you know what I mean

01:16:12.300 like you know

01:16:12.900 what is it

01:16:13.280 my point

01:16:14.900 yeah

01:16:15.140 that women probably do stalk you

01:16:17.280 I believe they do

01:16:18.000 because

01:16:18.240 oh what you're saying

01:16:18.740 yeah I do have a lot of women

01:16:20.460 you know what I mean

01:16:20.940 on my Instagram

01:16:21.520 around going you know what I mean tell Theo I think he's hot that's crazy yeah yeah and it's

01:16:27.020 like you know I'm pretty hot yeah dude if I were a gay dude I would fucking smash you dude

01:16:32.880 or I would date you or I'd ask you out sorry don't smash right away man where you're gonna

01:16:37.900 take me huh where you're gonna take me you know where yeah yeah yeah I love LA yeah

01:16:43.760 and we'll apologize for Charlie

01:16:47.880 hey free appetizers

01:16:49.040 you would take me somewhere nice

01:16:52.000 like if I said like

01:16:53.560 what town is this

01:16:55.380 LA I would take you to Homokase

01:16:57.620 if they have that dude it's just too gay

01:16:59.900 dude just disguising their

01:17:02.100 wiener as fish

01:17:03.800 yeah like oh

01:17:05.140 I think you would take me somewhere nice like if I go

01:17:08.000 take me to Mastro's

01:17:10.500 Steakhouse I would take you somewhere nice

01:17:12.100 It's really nice, yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:17:13.040 My friend Matt Weiss used to take me there all the time.

01:17:14.660 Would we make out, like, if you were gay and I was at your date, would you make out with

01:17:18.900 me that night, or?

01:17:19.820 I don't think so.

01:17:20.340 I don't like to make out on a full stomach, so.

01:17:22.540 Oh, yeah, me either.

01:17:23.360 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:17:23.880 It's crazy.

01:17:24.840 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:17:25.600 And you know what I've been doing lately, dude?

01:17:27.340 Inner cleanings.

01:17:28.460 What is it?

01:17:28.900 Are you talking, uh.

01:17:30.240 I've been doing inner cleanings, dude.

01:17:32.000 Are you, and what do you guys, and what do you mean by it?

01:17:34.000 What do you mean you guys?

01:17:35.060 What do you mean by it?

01:17:36.880 When you say inner cleanings.

01:17:37.760 Inner cleanings.

01:17:37.840 Are you talking about, um.

01:17:42.100 What are you talking about?

01:17:44.100 I just had a colonoscopy.

01:17:46.100 Oh damn that butt fountain or whatever.

01:17:48.100 Yeah, yeah, I got a butt fountain.

01:17:50.100 They found no pulp.

01:17:51.100 Did they?

01:17:52.100 Yeah, and they found no cancer.

01:17:54.100 Let's go.

01:17:55.100 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:17:56.100 And now I do inner cleaning.

01:17:57.100 So what I'll do is by my bathtub, I have one of those Japanese toilets.

01:18:01.100 Yeah.

01:18:02.100 You know what I mean?

01:18:04.100 Oh yeah, right?

01:18:05.100 Yeah.

01:18:06.100 I sit on it and warms up right away.

01:18:07.100 My stepdaddy would shoot those if he saw them.

01:18:10.100 You Charlie would?

01:18:11.100 He wouldn't shoot, but he would draw on it.

01:18:15.440 Yeah, he would draw on it.

01:18:16.300 He would draw on it.

01:18:16.700 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:18:17.380 Wait, it's a flashback and trauma.

01:18:19.680 I know.

01:18:20.240 Yeah, yeah, yeah, of course.

01:18:21.640 That's what I'm saying, dude.

01:18:23.160 Anyway, and what I do is I have fancy body wash next to my toilet, right?

01:18:30.320 So I have a bidet.

01:18:31.440 You have a bidet?

01:18:32.200 No, I don't have that.

01:18:34.120 Do you know what one it is?

01:18:35.360 Yeah, I know it's something that washes in your ass and stuff like that, and I respect it.

01:18:38.400 I'm glad we have it as a culture, but I don't want it.

01:18:40.300 Why don't you want it?

01:18:41.360 I'd rather wash my own ass like a fucking man, dude.

01:18:44.700 I know, but the thing is that when you use dry toilet paper, right,

01:18:49.140 you're not getting the innards.

01:18:50.740 But sometimes you'll put some wetner on that toilet paper, dude.

01:18:53.860 What's a wetner?

01:18:54.640 Wetner, keep your little stash of water by your toilet.

01:18:56.700 Yeah, well, just get a fucking boday.

01:18:58.600 It just does it naturally when you press a button.

01:19:00.880 Yeah, if you...

01:19:01.620 You're going to have a fucking wetner?

01:19:03.780 It's the same fucking thing.

01:19:05.100 Dude, I'm not fucking letting some Waymo fucking clean my ass, dude.

01:19:08.660 All right.

01:19:09.160 I'm doing it myself.

01:19:10.160 But you can control the angles.

01:19:12.000 I'm old-fashioned.

01:19:12.940 All right, dude.

01:19:14.060 So I control the levels.

01:19:15.520 Yeah.

01:19:15.900 So it hits the hole.

01:19:17.440 But that's not a colonoscopy, Bob.

01:19:18.980 I already had one last week.

01:19:20.180 Okay.

01:19:20.520 But now I'm talking about cleaning my innards.

01:19:22.880 Dude, they let you keep anything that comes out of it?

01:19:24.460 Like if they have like a...

01:19:25.540 They found a fingernail.

01:19:26.620 Nuh-uh.

01:19:27.060 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:19:27.500 They found a fingernail.

01:19:28.120 Fuck yeah.

01:19:28.460 I knew those were in there.

01:19:29.500 Somebody said those were in there.

01:19:30.540 Yeah, yeah.

01:19:30.980 Those are in there, dude.

01:19:31.820 Dang.

01:19:32.340 No, but so I...

01:19:33.600 So your health is good?

01:19:34.520 No, no.

01:19:34.900 And let me finish my innards story, dude.

01:19:36.580 That's what your problem is.

01:19:40.160 I let the boday hit directly into the, you know, I mean calamari. Yeah, what I like to call it. Okay. Okay

01:19:47.540 Okay, that's what it looks like. Okay, right, right. I hit the calamari, right?

01:19:51.500 And then sometimes I'll open up my own cheeks, right? Oh, damn. So that the water sprays right into the hole. Into the Hormuz, huh?

01:19:59.540 The Hormuz spray, straight into Hormuz, right? It does close.

01:20:03.560 It does close, right? You know what I mean? But you know, I mean, we're charging.

01:20:07.160 We're charging two million per vessel

01:20:09.840 I charge my poo, dude

01:20:11.360 Yeah

01:20:12.980 I charge my poo two million dollars and they pay it

01:20:15.380 That's what you gotta tell your butthole

01:20:17.440 It's like, hey, blink twice if you're in trouble, you know

01:20:19.460 Yeah, yeah

01:20:20.080 So anyway, I spray it inside

01:20:21.740 And then I'll take a tissue paper

01:20:24.080 Some body wash, right

01:20:25.720 I'll get it inside the hole

01:20:27.240 And I'll do a double spray

01:20:28.820 Right, in the hole, right

01:20:31.320 Then I do a dry wipe

01:20:32.760 And I leave so that like

01:20:35.520 You know what I mean, when you're having sexuality

01:20:37.060 is with my girlfriend right um you know i mean there's no problem right i mean aren't you self

01:20:43.640 cleaning when you know you're about to hook up yeah i'll wash my whole body i've been taking a

01:20:47.860 little break right now from dating and stuff like that okay but i'll wash my whole body

01:20:51.500 i do that too i do that too okay yeah yeah i know i only wash that

01:20:59.380 i don't know i don't know what you're doing you're fucking no wait no wait you ever met

01:21:06.120 yourself have you ever met yourself have you met yourself it's crazy you're crazy dude you're

01:21:11.520 fucking crazy whatever dude you're a confused white dude whatever you told me yeah you know

01:21:15.360 what i tell you what you said you used to work on the andrea gale dude that fishing boat that

01:21:19.320 went down dude yeah yeah and i survived it yeah yeah i survived it and you lied yeah i lied about

01:21:24.500 it's not my bad but let me say something right now okay of course i wash my body before i do

01:21:30.140 that process okay got it yeah yeah that's all that's all i'm saying all right yeah yeah see

01:21:34.340 that's all you do is wash your body i wash my body i wash my whole body huh you steam your body

01:21:39.780 i'll go to sauna in the morning but in nashville yeah nashville or here oh you do i've never been

01:21:45.780 to sauna with you you haven't no i'd like to do it one day yeah i'd love to go over there man if

01:21:50.460 you know there's supposed to be some good places that people go like as a group and stuff i haven't

01:21:54.280 been any of those i'll just do it at home but also i'll go to equinox over there and then i'll go

01:21:58.100 over there you mean as a group like you know people will get there's like a boy band there's

01:22:01.740 like a bathhouse or something oh yeah no i'm not talking like an o-town reunion yeah yeah okay um

01:22:08.980 like if we gathered a group of comics me you gillis santino that'd be so fun that'd be fun

01:22:14.500 you know i mean and would you be like one of those people because a lot of and i'm i know i'm

01:22:19.680 bringing white up a lot right all right but what i'm saying you were gonna do it before you came

01:22:23.620 mirror well you bring up asia a lot like you're confused about the whole fucking continent

01:22:28.620 well you guys aren't sharing a ton of information for to iran we are to iran yeah we have satellites

01:22:37.100 well yeah we're not getting much i've you guys aren't sending i'm an american let's move on

01:22:43.160 okay okay but what i want what i want to say is if you've seen this volleyball player that you

01:22:47.240 we were trying to find a movie role for you when i was on bad friends we're trying to find a movie

01:22:51.100 role for you that would be really really great and we're like what would be a great movie role

01:22:54.520 for robbie and we found have you seen this guy yeah yeah let's see it this is my boy jordan lucas

01:23:00.880 over at csun dude okay splash baby he gets it done bro oh he is oh i see i understand

01:23:12.420 welcome to valley yeah i understand valley ball baby that dude yeah yeah yeah he's in the valley

01:23:18.880 right he's at CSUN yeah yes he's Northridge yeah up in Northridge bro yeah oh yeah he put that

01:23:25.340 flamenco on him baby guy yeah yeah he's flashing that flamenco yeah so that's I would play a black

01:23:32.260 gay man in a movie no this guy's not black he's not what is he no Jordan Lucas yeah he's a fucking

01:23:38.920 boss that's what he is oh he's a boss yeah dude yeah yeah he seems like a black boss he's sassy

01:23:46.060 He's sassy

01:23:46.720 Yeah yeah yeah

01:23:47.960 Now would you be

01:23:48.540 Intimidated playing against him

01:23:49.760 Bro game set

01:23:50.820 Sassy bro

01:23:51.740 That dude's a fucking boss

01:23:53.280 Bro

01:23:53.660 Yes I'd be intimidated

01:23:55.160 Playing against anybody

01:23:56.420 That is doing

01:23:57.620 That plays volleyball well

01:23:58.920 Yeah

01:23:59.440 Oh that's true

01:24:00.200 He's a boss

01:24:00.860 Yeah

01:24:01.140 Shout out CSUN

01:24:02.500 And what's your team name

01:24:03.480 The Dom

01:24:04.040 And it says right there

01:24:05.180 I can't stop watching the vid

01:24:06.340 Of this Northridge College

01:24:07.560 Volleyball beast

01:24:08.620 Diva

01:24:09.380 LOL

01:24:09.920 That's where we're at bro

01:24:12.100 The beast divas

01:24:13.820 Have launched homie

01:24:16.060 Yeah, bro, that's what we

01:24:18.040 You need

01:24:19.100 You need that kind of energy in the world

01:24:22.240 You need aggressive, capable

01:24:24.600 Gay males

01:24:26.300 Or semi-gay

01:24:29.420 I have no idea

01:24:30.280 This guy definitely, has he said that he is gay?

01:24:32.540 I don't want to be saying that

01:24:33.380 I saw an interview with him, he's gay

01:24:34.780 But he could be straight and have gay moves

01:24:38.040 I've done some gay moves

01:24:40.080 But I'm 95% straight

01:24:42.300 We know, dude

01:24:43.720 No, no, no, like I'll wait

01:24:45.480 and I'll go, you know what I mean?

01:24:47.560 But that doesn't necessarily mean.

01:24:49.440 Right.

01:24:49.820 You know what I mean?

01:24:50.380 Oh, yeah.

01:24:51.000 Like when I kiss the tip, I do it manly.

01:24:54.060 Okay.

01:24:54.860 You know what I mean?

01:24:55.460 That's not.

01:24:56.480 Like a dad, like kissing his son goodbye.

01:24:58.540 Yeah, yeah.

01:24:59.040 The one kiss a year.

01:25:00.040 He's going off to war.

01:25:00.340 Yeah.

01:25:00.740 Yeah, yeah.

01:25:02.600 Yeah, like that, dude.

01:25:03.760 Yeah.

01:25:04.460 Like aggressive, but like hetero.

01:25:07.320 Yeah, yeah.

01:25:07.960 Hetero.

01:25:08.340 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:25:08.560 Yeah, for sure.

01:25:09.200 Have you seen the Thai draft?

01:25:12.120 So there's a draft in Thailand?

01:25:14.260 No.

01:25:14.700 Yeah.

01:25:15.360 Bro, Spike Lee, that would be your name, dude,

01:25:17.380 if that would be your Asian name, bro.

01:25:19.640 If you played volleyball.

01:25:21.340 Dude, that's so funny.

01:25:22.200 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:25:23.320 That would be so fucking sick, dude.

01:25:24.740 Yeah.

01:25:25.220 Ladies and gentlemen, Spike Lee.

01:25:26.740 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:25:27.420 And I'd be spiking you.

01:25:28.320 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:25:31.060 Dude, you should do a show.

01:25:32.920 We should do a movie.

01:25:33.740 We should do a heated rivalry where I'm Spike Lee, right?

01:25:37.620 And we're not putting you on the poster if we do it.

01:25:39.740 You're Volley Vaughn.

01:25:41.200 But we'll do a movie.

01:25:42.040 You and me are the leads and just I'm on the poster.

01:25:44.120 But it's like Heated Rivalry, where I hand you a...

01:25:47.080 And you touch my finger?

01:25:47.800 And there's a finger.

01:25:48.880 Right.

01:25:49.880 What do you think?

01:25:51.980 So you're saying, well, we do like...

01:25:53.280 It's a movie, so it's not...

01:25:54.500 It's not real.

01:25:54.880 It's art.

01:25:55.640 It's art.

01:25:55.940 You think he broke back?

01:25:57.140 Jake Gyllenhaal?

01:25:57.640 Yeah.

01:25:58.100 I know Jake.

01:25:58.800 You do?

01:25:59.300 I love him.

01:25:59.980 Oh, yeah.

01:26:00.480 Yeah, I had dinner with him once.

01:26:01.500 He's a great guy.

01:26:01.980 You did?

01:26:02.700 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:26:03.120 Oh, my gosh.

01:26:03.660 You never even said that.

01:26:05.380 Well, how would you know?

01:26:06.220 You never asked me.

01:26:07.340 You'd think you would tell me.

01:26:08.500 Yeah, yeah.

01:26:09.180 Well, I don't tell you everyone I've had dinner with.

01:26:11.220 I know that, but at least you would say, hey, Jake Gyllenhaal had a dinner.

01:26:13.700 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:26:14.340 He's a great guy.

01:26:15.640 He's so funny.

01:26:16.740 Who's your dream guest to have on your podcast on Bad Friends?

01:26:19.220 Oh, shit, dog.

01:26:20.660 My dream guest?

01:26:21.720 Or on your own podcast?

01:26:24.280 Tiger Belly is my own podcast.

01:26:25.740 Yeah, but I'm going to say Tiger Belly or Bad Friends.

01:26:28.540 The dream guest would be Brad Pitt.

01:26:34.360 Wow.

01:26:34.880 Yeah.

01:26:35.500 I just want to see what it's all about.

01:26:37.420 To see it up close?

01:26:38.460 and personal yeah

01:26:39.620 damn bro

01:26:40.600 I want to see if it's an illusion

01:26:42.020 or if it's real

01:26:43.420 if it's makeup

01:26:44.200 have you seen him in real life before Brad Pitt

01:26:46.360 I saw him one time

01:26:47.400 yeah

01:26:47.700 is it real

01:26:48.240 I mean I was so scared

01:26:49.900 I didn't know what to do

01:26:50.760 and I just

01:26:51.180 yeah

01:26:51.620 you trembled probably

01:26:52.660 oh yeah

01:26:53.160 I was like opening a door for him

01:26:54.320 and I got all scared and shit

01:26:55.240 yeah yeah yeah

01:26:55.980 he went in the building

01:26:56.640 up all of them

01:26:57.300 yeah

01:26:57.800 I know but

01:26:59.120 when you look at him

01:27:00.260 but he moved quick

01:27:00.960 yeah I know

01:27:01.540 he looks like a very quick guy

01:27:03.160 yeah

01:27:03.500 like one time I was

01:27:04.480 you know nothing about soccer

01:27:06.580 no

01:27:07.820 I know the World Cup's coming to the USA.

01:27:09.240 Yeah, yeah.

01:27:09.680 That's good.

01:27:10.460 But anyway, my favorite soccer team is Arsenal FC.

01:27:14.100 When you do it, I do it.

01:27:16.060 And so the soccer team has-

01:27:18.820 Spike Lee!

01:27:21.380 War!

01:27:22.020 Good God!

01:27:24.260 What is it good for?

01:27:26.820 Absolutely nothing!

01:27:27.900 Say it again!

01:27:28.920 Okay, so I'm an Arsenal fan.

01:27:32.240 Here's the thing about you.

01:27:33.480 You don't listen.

01:27:36.300 Here's the thing about you.

01:27:37.280 You're already thinking about what you're going to say next

01:27:40.120 Like a different topic

01:27:41.200 So when I'm, I know your eyes, right

01:27:43.560 So when I'm talking, right

01:27:45.120 You're already thinking about something else

01:27:46.260 You're not really listening

01:27:47.140 Okay, my bad, let me drop in

01:27:48.160 You want this to be over?

01:27:51.460 No, I don't

01:27:51.880 Tell me about Arsenal, dude

01:27:52.860 Alright, so their legendary player

01:27:55.780 Is a guy named Thierry Henry

01:27:57.420 Thierry Henry

01:27:58.340 T-H-I-E-R-R-Y

01:28:00.540 Yeah, how'd you know that?

01:28:01.760 Because I've seen him before

01:28:02.540 Yeah, yeah

01:28:02.960 He's one of the greats

01:28:03.940 People say he looks like Sully McCullough as well

01:28:05.700 A little bit

01:28:06.100 Yeah, a little bit

01:28:06.780 Yeah, it's fair, right?

01:28:08.340 Yeah.

01:28:08.860 So Henri, I was at a hotel.

01:28:11.460 And you met him?

01:28:12.020 No.

01:28:12.800 So I was in a hotel in New York, right?

01:28:15.460 I was shooting the movie The Dictator, right?

01:28:18.440 And they put us at, I forgot what hotel it was.

01:28:20.680 And I remember being in the elevator and Henri walked in.

01:28:23.220 Did they put you on the poster or not The Dictator?

01:28:25.300 No.

01:28:26.460 And I had more lines than busboys.

01:28:28.580 But they didn't care about you.

01:28:30.860 Yeah, they didn't care about me.

01:28:32.260 You cared about me.

01:28:33.180 I can't believe I didn't ask you that.

01:28:34.840 Anyway, Henri walks in, right, and obviously it's like, hey, I'm a huge fan, or can I get a photo, or whatever.

01:28:48.100 You said that to him?

01:28:48.860 No, nothing came out of my mouth.

01:28:51.360 I was so in shock that he was the last person that I ever thought I would dreamt meeting or seeing in real life.

01:28:58.900 Of course, of course.

01:28:59.660 That when he got off his floor, the words couldn't come out.

01:29:03.420 No.

01:29:03.820 Yeah, yeah.

01:29:04.440 That's how much of a fan I was

01:29:06.520 And then when I missed my moment

01:29:08.400 I missed my moment

01:29:09.620 You know what I mean

01:29:10.200 So the other day I was at Pizzeria Bianco

01:29:14.180 Right

01:29:15.300 And the dude that runs

01:29:16.700 That created it

01:29:18.020 I'm a big fan of

01:29:19.460 He was in the restaurant

01:29:23.540 No way

01:29:24.620 Yeah

01:29:24.940 And I walked right out to him

01:29:26.160 I go can I get a photo

01:29:27.060 And he goes sure kid

01:29:28.280 So I do it every time now

01:29:30.160 Because I'm not fans of like

01:29:32.140 You know

01:29:32.340 Here he was in the restaurant

01:29:33.820 No, this guy that created Chris Pizzeria Bianco.

01:29:36.480 Oh, he was in the restaurant.

01:29:37.640 It's one of the best pizzerias in the world.

01:29:39.320 The creator.

01:29:39.800 Who's it?

01:29:40.280 Bring it up.

01:29:41.300 That's him right there.

01:29:41.900 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:29:43.480 Chris Bianco.

01:29:44.320 Yeah, Chris Bianco.

01:29:44.980 Oh, I've seen him before.

01:29:46.380 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:29:47.000 There's one downtown in LA.

01:29:48.420 Very good pizza.

01:29:49.240 I don't go down there too much, but I will.

01:29:51.200 Yeah, yeah.

01:29:52.280 But anyway, so now when I see somebody, can you listen?

01:29:56.600 Yeah, I'm back.

01:29:59.080 I'm here.

01:29:59.580 Okay.

01:30:00.360 Now when I see somebody, like, I'm not like fans of like,

01:30:03.240 Oh, there's, you know what I mean?

01:30:05.000 Sabrina Carpenter or...

01:30:06.380 David Robinson.

01:30:08.020 Or something like a...

01:30:08.440 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:30:09.140 I'm not like what normally...

01:30:09.800 Mitch McConnell.

01:30:11.120 Like Mitch McConnell, like Turtle Eyes.

01:30:12.940 Yeah.

01:30:13.260 I call him, you know what I mean?

01:30:14.080 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:30:15.340 You know what I mean?

01:30:16.340 Like, you know, so most people will be like,

01:30:17.840 I've got to get a selfie with Mitch.

01:30:19.540 You know, when he's in a...

01:30:20.300 He's a zone.

01:30:21.400 His Frozone.

01:30:22.420 Yeah.

01:30:22.860 You know what I mean?

01:30:23.200 When he freezes up.

01:30:24.120 That's my favorite part of him.

01:30:25.200 Oh, he's glitching.

01:30:25.960 Yeah, he's glitching.

01:30:26.760 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:30:27.820 You know what I mean?

01:30:28.120 but anyway

01:30:28.620 that's his cum face

01:30:29.580 yeah

01:30:30.060 did you know that

01:30:30.600 oh

01:30:30.860 yeah

01:30:31.440 this is

01:30:32.560 oh damn

01:30:33.840 anyway

01:30:36.000 like Mitch McCullough

01:30:37.400 oh that's crazy

01:30:38.340 yeah yeah

01:30:38.740 that's his cum face dude

01:30:40.360 bro we're gonna go to hell

01:30:41.680 for doing this

01:30:42.060 that's a real face

01:30:43.280 or something

01:30:43.400 yeah that's a real face dude

01:30:44.320 yeah

01:30:44.580 see they're using

01:30:45.360 some of these senior citizens dude

01:30:47.080 yeah

01:30:47.340 they're just

01:30:48.100 they're using them

01:30:49.180 to just smuggle

01:30:50.060 imagine his Chinese wife

01:30:51.120 underneath them

01:30:51.840 and that's the face he uses

01:30:53.080 oh yeah

01:30:53.700 oh dude

01:30:54.300 you know what I mean

01:30:55.000 you gotta use that

01:30:55.960 yeah yeah

01:30:56.280 you gotta use that

01:30:57.080 anyway

01:30:57.400 So with it are you fans with somebody that's weird that if you ran in them that you'd be starstruck? I

01:31:04.720 Think probably Marilyn Manson probably

01:31:10.400 Huh someone alive oh

01:31:12.400 Yeah, I could go out through history like Genghis Khan. That'd be cool. Yeah, yeah, but yeah, but Marilyn Manson's dead. Yeah

01:31:20.400 Is there somebody that you would like you're in an elevator. I are you thinking Marilyn Manson is still alive Charles man

01:31:25.720 Oh, you meant Charles Manson.

01:31:27.160 Oh, Marilyn Manson.

01:31:28.160 Yeah, Marilyn Manson, dude.

01:31:29.640 Oh, I saw him.

01:31:30.360 I thank God.

01:31:31.800 Oh, thank God.

01:31:33.600 Thank God he didn't die.

01:31:34.780 Oh.

01:31:35.160 Oh, fuck.

01:31:35.840 Yeah, no.

01:31:36.500 Yeah.

01:31:36.940 I know him.

01:31:38.020 You do.

01:31:38.740 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:31:39.580 Dang, dude.

01:31:40.100 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:31:40.400 I do know him.

01:31:40.840 Yeah, I was talking to somebody that works with him for a little bit.

01:31:44.220 But yeah, I think probably him would be somebody that would be really neat.

01:31:49.100 The Pope, maybe.

01:31:50.760 Oh, Pope Leo or the previous one?

01:31:52.440 The new one.

01:31:53.320 The one that's beefing with Trump online.

01:31:54.940 What about the one that J.D. Vance killed?

01:31:58.640 You remember that guy?

01:31:59.520 I haven't even heard about that one.

01:32:00.360 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:32:00.960 Remember J.D. Vance visited him and the next time he died?

01:32:03.160 Oh, dang it.

01:32:03.640 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:32:04.200 So it's like, yeah, so that's why.

01:32:06.780 I mean, I will say, look, J.D. has a strong handshake.

01:32:09.800 I know.

01:32:10.700 But now this Pope, wherever J.D. is at, he's not there.

01:32:14.020 Oh, I see what you're saying.

01:32:14.620 Yeah, yeah.

01:32:14.940 Like he was in Africa and then J.D. was like in D.C.

01:32:18.160 And if J.D. went to Africa, the Pope would go to Antarctica.

01:32:21.340 You know what I mean?

01:32:21.980 That Pope ain't fucking fucking with no J.D.

01:32:23.680 There's Pope on a rope.

01:32:24.360 Yeah, he has a Pope on a rope, though.

01:32:25.480 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:32:25.780 Yeah, that last one definitely was.

01:32:27.100 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:32:28.000 So if you ran into the Pope or what about, can I just name some names?

01:32:33.140 Yeah, I'm trying to think.

01:32:34.040 Oh, people I'd be starstruck by?

01:32:35.380 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:32:35.960 And then you would be like, oh, fuck, I got to get a photo.

01:32:38.280 Oh, Julia Roberts, I would be starstruck.

01:32:39.700 Oh, yeah, yeah.

01:32:40.180 You get a photo?

01:32:41.080 I don't know if I'd ask for a photo, but I would just be starstruck.

01:32:43.160 Yeah, yeah.

01:32:43.500 I don't know if I'd ask for, like, I think sometimes it's better to just say, no, I'm

01:32:48.500 okay without a photo.

01:32:49.780 This is what, so here's the thing, okay?

01:32:51.940 when I was at Coachella

01:32:54.060 and I saw Sabrina Carpenter

01:32:56.960 and I saw

01:32:57.560 I went for the Strokes

01:32:58.880 and I got front row

01:33:02.180 so did Mitch McConnell

01:33:03.100 sorry it's a bad joke

01:33:05.760 alright let's go on

01:33:06.680 oh my god

01:33:08.600 dude

01:33:10.120 my poker face

01:33:12.740 he does look like a turtle

01:33:15.200 that part I don't even see

01:33:17.560 I just see a senior man

01:33:19.800 that's getting used

01:33:21.680 to funnel ideas and danger through.

01:33:25.320 There should be an aid.

01:33:27.000 You believe there's got to be a limit.

01:33:28.880 They got to put a cap.

01:33:29.780 What's the cap?

01:33:30.640 60?

01:33:31.500 65.

01:33:32.260 65.

01:33:32.960 Cap.

01:33:33.500 Yeah.

01:33:33.900 After 65, you're out.

01:33:35.480 You're out.

01:33:35.860 Yeah.

01:33:36.320 I think so too.

01:33:37.360 Because I'm 54, I'll do crazy shit.

01:33:39.800 Would you ever run?

01:33:41.320 I'd run fast.

01:33:42.880 Would you ever run for office?

01:33:44.060 Yeah.

01:33:44.600 Would you?

01:33:45.100 Yeah.

01:33:46.140 A congressperson or something.

01:33:47.580 We need somebody.

01:33:48.440 I think so.

01:33:48.980 Yeah.

01:33:49.400 But my ideas are cray-cray.

01:33:50.900 I mean, I don't know. Ask me about something. I'll tell you what I would do.

01:33:53.720 But here's the thing. We have the first Vietnamese House of Representatives person was from Louisiana.

01:34:03.400 Really?

01:34:04.020 Yeah.

01:34:04.540 Yeah.

01:34:04.880 Look him up.

01:34:05.660 Yeah. So you can differentiate between Vietnamese and Chinese?

01:34:09.680 I wouldn't say that.

01:34:12.140 But I would say that that's our boy right there.

01:34:14.240 All right.

01:34:15.960 Joseph Cao.

01:34:17.380 And he's from your homeland?

01:34:20.260 Yeah, that's him right there.

01:34:21.120 Yeah, yeah.

01:34:21.900 He's a boss, dude.

01:34:23.120 He's a boss, dude.

01:34:23.900 Born in Saigon.

01:34:25.320 Yeah.

01:34:25.800 Born in Saigon, went to Baylor.

01:34:27.440 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:34:28.080 So you think we need more Asians in Congress?

01:34:31.420 Yeah.

01:34:32.620 And more Filipinos.

01:34:33.560 If it was all Filipinos, I don't think anything bad would ever happen to the world, do you?

01:34:36.800 No, dude.

01:34:37.920 You're right.

01:34:38.380 I think you're right.

01:34:39.140 That's the truth.

01:34:39.760 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:34:40.780 But there'd be a lot of...

01:34:41.920 You could run on the same ticket, dude, with Jake Paul.

01:34:45.080 Jake Paul, that's my...

01:34:46.040 Yeah, but we're different parties.

01:34:47.500 Would you ever, dude, because this is...

01:34:49.480 That's actually something I did here.

01:34:51.400 Jake, somebody said you got offered to do WWE.

01:34:54.880 Is that true?

01:34:56.860 No.

01:34:57.680 Are you serious?

01:34:59.020 Yeah.

01:34:59.280 Stop pointing at me, dog.

01:35:00.320 Yeah.

01:35:00.560 I'm fucking serious, bro.

01:35:02.200 All right.

01:35:02.880 Are you serious?

01:35:03.660 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:35:04.360 I'm serious, dude.

01:35:05.240 Yeah, I heard that.

01:35:06.140 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:35:07.780 But here's what happens, right?

01:35:09.800 I don't get 80% of it.

01:35:12.960 You know what I mean?

01:35:13.300 It goes through like a funnel to me.

01:35:15.400 Because my people know what I will and will not do.

01:35:18.060 For sure.

01:35:18.420 And WWE is something I probably wouldn't want to do.

01:35:20.840 Really?

01:35:21.140 Because I would lose.

01:35:23.160 I would lose.

01:35:23.940 What if we did a tag team match against Logan Paul and his brother?

01:35:27.640 I would do that, dude.

01:35:29.300 Yeah, let's challenge Logan Paul, right?

01:35:31.860 And his brother.

01:35:33.680 Jake.

01:35:34.280 Yeah.

01:35:34.960 Tag team.

01:35:35.700 We have to wear costumes, though.

01:35:37.100 And the winner has to pay the others taxes.

01:35:40.360 For how many years?

01:35:41.720 Just one year?

01:35:42.280 For one year.

01:35:42.720 But you think he would win?

01:35:44.780 Fuck yeah.

01:35:45.440 Fuck yeah.

01:35:46.220 Yeah.

01:35:47.000 I think they're not all that.

01:35:48.540 Dude.

01:35:49.060 Dude.

01:35:49.580 Of course you would.

01:35:50.120 I would tag you real quick.

01:35:51.440 Yeah.

01:35:51.840 Oh, you would?

01:35:52.480 Yeah, I'm opening.

01:35:53.200 And I would tag you.

01:35:54.640 Yeah, we'd tag each other.

01:35:55.500 Dude, that's when we stay in the corner, and we keep tagging each other.

01:35:58.920 Till they get dizzy.

01:36:00.000 And then we become a cyclone of tagging, right?

01:36:02.860 And then they get all confused, right?

01:36:04.740 And then we both get onto the ropes, right?

01:36:07.140 And we do what?

01:36:09.440 We jump off.

01:36:10.360 Yes.

01:36:11.340 And?

01:36:11.900 And we attack them.

01:36:12.680 And we attack them then.

01:36:13.380 Yeah, dude.

01:36:14.380 We attack that way.

01:36:15.500 Through the air.

01:36:16.560 yeah like we did to iran or we get a drone to take us up all right ukrainian or iranian uh

01:36:22.800 what everyone still has a little bit of gas money left yeah yeah whatever yeah and we take that up

01:36:29.600 we'll take that up right and we'll just collide right into them i think we could do it but would

01:36:35.000 you get involved in personal pot like even in in uh in local politics like spencer pratt is running

01:36:39.240 for mayor of la now you know that no i don't know that you don't know that no no no and you know

01:36:43.080 And that'd be cool.

01:36:44.400 I don't know if I'd bother.

01:36:45.120 You know what I do, do, do?

01:36:46.220 What?

01:36:46.560 What do I do, do, do, do?

01:36:51.160 I donate to Canada sometimes.

01:36:54.200 To help them?

01:36:55.280 Yeah.

01:36:56.100 Do you ever do that?

01:36:56.820 I love Canada.

01:36:58.860 Excuse me?

01:36:59.660 I love Canada.

01:37:00.780 Yeah.

01:37:01.160 Oh, you give Canadian politicians money?

01:37:05.200 No.

01:37:06.060 I don't donate to them, but I love Canada.

01:37:07.580 I think it's a great place.

01:37:08.680 Yeah, I love Argentina.

01:37:10.220 What the fuck are you talking about?

01:37:11.280 Yeah, the best posture.

01:37:12.140 You don't even know Argentina.

01:37:13.500 Yeah, they have the best soccer players.

01:37:15.380 Argentina best?

01:37:15.740 Aguera, Messi, yeah.

01:37:17.440 I saw Messi play one time.

01:37:19.020 With Miami?

01:37:20.700 Nashville.

01:37:21.620 Oh, right, but it was with the Miami team?

01:37:23.600 Yeah, they played there.

01:37:24.600 Dude, it was great.

01:37:25.880 I would like to watch soccer more.

01:37:28.120 I think I'm going to try to go to a game when it's here.

01:37:31.580 Yeah.

01:37:32.240 You like those things.

01:37:33.680 It's fun.

01:37:33.980 Can I tell you something about something that made me real sad?

01:37:36.680 Yeah.

01:37:37.160 So, with the last UFC fight that you and I were at.

01:37:41.660 Yeah.

01:37:42.060 We're all right.

01:37:42.460 What kind of seats did you get?

01:37:44.840 We got good seats.

01:37:46.040 You did?

01:37:46.760 Yes.

01:37:47.320 What would you think my seats were like?

01:37:49.540 I saw your seats.

01:37:50.240 They were good.

01:37:52.080 Better than yours?

01:37:53.660 No.

01:37:54.320 It depends on what you're looking for.

01:37:56.320 I'm looking to get closest to the cage.

01:38:00.200 I didn't know that.

01:38:01.160 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:38:02.040 You think I want to be out there?

01:38:04.040 They put you.

01:38:05.380 Yeah, yeah.

01:38:05.760 There is a zone where there's a lot of people that-

01:38:09.340 Influencers.

01:38:10.580 No.

01:38:11.320 Okay, what kind of people?

01:38:12.460 Or people, yeah, influence, but people that are, like, there's a lot of people that have, like, it's, like, wheelchair access.

01:38:18.040 It's, like, impaired.

01:38:19.800 Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's why I saw that.

01:38:22.420 People that are impaired, like, people that are neck braces, back braces.

01:38:25.200 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:38:25.780 People that are on fluids and shit.

01:38:26.900 Yeah, exactly.

01:38:27.140 And they, yeah.

01:38:27.560 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:38:27.980 You were right there, though, along the road.

01:38:29.420 With the fluid people.

01:38:30.100 Where people come out.

01:38:31.300 They have other attachments to them.

01:38:33.260 Yeah, like, in the neck brace section.

01:38:34.680 Oxygen, water.

01:38:35.600 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:38:36.960 They have a cane.

01:38:38.320 Yeah, I mean, the biff.

01:38:40.740 They have the biff.

01:38:41.680 yeah just yeah yeah just an aquifer basically people that were just like exactly so i'm in

01:38:47.480 that section right and for a split second i was kind of like why am i here you know i mean

01:38:53.620 probably because it was your first fight really so the next time i go to a fight because i love

01:38:57.900 the sport can i just go with you yeah will i still be in the oxygen area i can ask uh dana

01:39:06.540 if he would allow me if he allows me to go no you're always around that yeah i'm a fan of the

01:39:13.780 sport i you're always around that but it's still at his grace you know it's like his it's like

01:39:18.720 he he picks who can go wait wait wait the people that you your friends are bigger than me

01:39:25.560 that you had around you are they what do you mean like like a popularity wise no gianni's with me

01:39:32.160 all the time is he more popular than me to the to in the urban circles he is at the oxygen area

01:39:38.380 you're having a good time yeah yeah yeah yeah i was having a spasm dude bro look how close i've

01:39:44.280 never gotten to sit where you sat here that's amazing bro to cheer people when they come out

01:39:49.080 yeah but then you put your hand out they don't never slap my hand bro yeah yeah that guy's a

01:39:54.000 beast dude who is that guy nick a taba gotier yeah is he like in a six fight win streak yeah

01:39:59.480 I'll first try on Nocto

01:40:00.480 I like Ote

01:40:01.100 yeah

01:40:01.480 and dude you got to see

01:40:02.980 Rose Namajunas

01:40:03.660 when she came out

01:40:04.380 okay

01:40:04.700 is that how you say

01:40:05.160 her last name

01:40:05.500 Namajunas

01:40:05.940 Namajunas

01:40:06.740 Namajunas

01:40:07.360 yeah yeah

01:40:07.780 dude Doug Rosebro

01:40:09.140 just to see that

01:40:10.080 yeah

01:40:10.420 you're right

01:40:11.280 I've sat in a lot

01:40:12.100 of different places

01:40:12.660 I haven't always

01:40:13.180 gotten to sit up close

01:40:13.940 but it has been fun

01:40:14.920 when I got to

01:40:15.620 yeah

01:40:16.280 but yeah

01:40:17.280 next time you sit up close

01:40:18.940 because I've never been there

01:40:20.240 I'm going to just go with you

01:40:21.320 yes please

01:40:21.880 I'm going in July

01:40:22.900 if I am able to sit up close

01:40:24.500 then I would love for you to go

01:40:25.700 and just ask Dana

01:40:26.500 like my friend

01:40:27.320 you know what I mean

01:40:27.900 I'm going to send him a JPEG of you.

01:40:31.620 Straight up, I'll say you used to fight.

01:40:35.580 Just say the real thing.

01:40:37.780 You did used to fight.

01:40:38.860 No, no.

01:40:40.020 Say I'm your friend.

01:40:41.000 I'll say it's my friend, yeah.

01:40:41.780 I'm a big podcaster.

01:40:42.920 You're right.

01:40:43.440 I'm not going to lie to him.

01:40:44.500 Yeah, yeah.

01:40:44.940 But then why would you lie just now?

01:40:47.280 You're right.

01:40:48.180 No, what do you mean?

01:40:48.720 I'm right.

01:40:49.600 You are.

01:40:49.960 Why do you lie?

01:40:50.900 I'm not lying, dude.

01:40:51.880 I was thinking about lying.

01:40:53.040 Okay.

01:40:54.140 Anyway.

01:40:55.000 And I said I'm not.

01:40:55.920 So what did you think of today's podcast?

01:40:57.900 I thought it was good

01:40:59.560 let's do a regroup

01:41:00.660 you know what I mean

01:41:01.620 okay let's go through

01:41:02.280 some stuff

01:41:02.560 for one yeah

01:41:03.180 I do feel

01:41:04.260 for one I'm happy

01:41:06.320 to get to see you

01:41:07.060 oh I do want to say

01:41:09.560 also Brittany Schmidt's

01:41:10.700 dog passed away

01:41:11.520 so

01:41:12.660 oh no

01:41:13.300 I think we can just say

01:41:14.680 so sorry

01:41:15.700 Brittany we love you

01:41:16.540 and the dog's name

01:41:17.180 was Biggie

01:41:17.760 yeah yeah yeah

01:41:18.460 and that

01:41:19.120 he's in a better place

01:41:22.080 my dog Remy

01:41:23.000 passed away

01:41:23.540 a month and a half ago

01:41:24.760 aw

01:41:25.220 did you have to

01:41:26.600 I did that

01:41:28.240 That was great.

01:41:29.180 What?

01:41:29.740 Nuh-uh.

01:41:30.280 Did you have to have someone come over and help put it down?

01:41:31.840 My friend just had to have that.

01:41:32.920 My friend Tim, remember Bizzle, who you always fight with at the casino?

01:41:35.660 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:41:36.200 Where is he?

01:41:36.900 Huh?

01:41:37.220 He's the one that's trying to shit with me on fucking line, dude.

01:41:39.660 Dude, he just texted me earlier today.

01:41:41.020 Dude, he just texted me today.

01:41:42.160 This is what he said.

01:41:42.820 Can I tell you what Bizzle?

01:41:44.180 Is this him?

01:41:45.020 Yeah.

01:41:45.660 Hold on.

01:41:46.000 This piece of shit.

01:41:47.680 Dude, I'm not even joking.

01:41:49.660 The text he sent, he goes, tell that motherfucker to wash his ass.

01:41:52.780 That's what he said.

01:41:53.260 Okay, this is what he said.

01:41:54.780 What are the odds of that?

01:41:56.100 He goes, bro, you trying to beef with me saying I invite this shit?

01:41:59.900 Don't come into the studio today trying to start beef or you're going to get God type shit.

01:42:05.440 Where is that guy?

01:42:06.480 I want to get God.

01:42:07.480 I want to see what that means.

01:42:08.540 He's in.

01:42:09.260 You know, because I'm going to tell you this right now, dude.

01:42:11.020 He's pussified.

01:42:12.600 Yeah.

01:42:12.920 Yeah.

01:42:13.220 I'll destroy him.

01:42:14.940 Okay.

01:42:15.640 He's strong, right?

01:42:17.040 But I have ways.

01:42:18.580 I'll go Nam, dude.

01:42:19.540 I think you can.

01:42:20.380 I'll build a tunnel and a pathway.

01:42:22.260 Oh, so it's okay for you to go Nam and just completely.

01:42:25.340 yeah we can do it

01:42:26.260 be a culture vulture

01:42:26.880 yeah yeah we can be

01:42:27.560 a culture vulture

01:42:28.140 I'll go Nam

01:42:29.780 my stepfather

01:42:30.700 can't walk back in

01:42:32.060 he's a white

01:42:32.520 he's a confused white

01:42:33.480 no

01:42:33.880 yeah yeah yeah

01:42:35.260 there's a difference

01:42:36.200 between being Asian

01:42:37.480 right

01:42:38.180 and being a confused white

01:42:39.560 guy

01:42:39.880 yeah you're right

01:42:40.980 you're right

01:42:41.420 I'm just trying to be

01:42:42.300 philosophical guy

01:42:43.540 I know there is

01:42:44.460 yeah yeah yeah

01:42:45.100 it just breaks my heart

01:42:47.160 yeah what

01:42:47.700 it breaks my heart

01:42:48.280 it breaks my heart

01:42:48.860 that we can't like

01:42:49.720 you know get closer

01:42:50.500 with that divide dude

01:42:52.160 I know

01:42:52.680 we're gonna do it better

01:42:53.420 next time we'll do it better

01:42:54.740 yeah i think this is one of those oh go ahead sorry i think this is one of those times where

01:42:58.780 it's like yeah we kind of hit a spot where it's like okay yeah sometimes i do feel pressure like

01:43:03.160 if we're if like yeah it's like you get you get clips that are viral and like you do see that you

01:43:07.960 can't even not see it and it's like and then like people every time you know you'll be somewhere

01:43:11.920 like there's a video somewhere there's a funeral and the guy's yelling bobby at it you know like

01:43:16.000 it's like what can you do but it's like yeah you do feel some pressure and it's not and that

01:43:20.220 that's why i've been avoiding it but that what i'm saying right but those moments aren't like

01:43:24.280 it's not fair to all it's not fair for me to bring any like i i i thought about that before you came

01:43:30.780 i thought about yeah great listening i thought about that before you came and i said god like

01:43:37.760 let's let me just have it this is so stupid that we're even thinking about this but let me just

01:43:41.380 have a nice conversation with my friend and let me have a new experience yeah and i felt the same

01:43:45.980 way driving her like i've been avoiding doing it with you because there's just so much pressure on

01:43:51.120 you know what I mean

01:43:52.600 but we had so much fun

01:43:53.300 when I came into

01:43:53.720 Bad Friends

01:43:54.400 yeah

01:43:55.360 how great was that

01:43:56.160 that was great

01:43:56.760 you know what I mean

01:43:57.680 but we might have not

01:43:58.580 gotten anything today

01:43:59.380 well it took me 600 episodes

01:44:00.760 even invited over there

01:44:01.900 if you go on

01:44:04.100 I really want to look

01:44:04.700 at the calendar

01:44:05.280 but I know you guys

01:44:08.280 are busy

01:44:08.680 no no no

01:44:09.160 look at me right now dude

01:44:10.140 that's tragic

01:44:11.940 I'll tell you this

01:44:15.180 we're not a guest driven show

01:44:17.640 we've had maybe 10 guests

01:44:19.760 in our whole

01:44:20.400 whatever the run oh i didn't know that yeah yeah um we've had jack black shia you know i mean yeah

01:44:26.900 we get the biggest people we can get to do the guests what's that tall orange man who plays

01:44:32.680 basketball women yum no no what's that tall orange man that plays blake griffin blake griffin oh yeah

01:44:38.700 the tall orange you know i mean oh yeah yeah vitamin c they call him yeah the vitamin c we

01:44:43.860 got when we got vitamins we got it you know i mean and we were lucky to have you but it's like

01:44:49.380 It's not a personal thing.

01:44:50.720 No, I didn't feel it.

01:44:51.340 It's a scheduling thing.

01:44:52.460 Yeah.

01:44:52.800 Yeah.

01:44:53.720 And so let me ask the boys in the booth.

01:44:58.600 What did you think of today's episode?

01:45:01.040 There are great moments.

01:45:01.940 And I just think you guys talk so naturally funny to each other.

01:45:04.920 You don't realize there's going to be some viral moment from this that we don't know.

01:45:09.440 That's a good point.

01:45:11.260 So you know what?

01:45:12.600 Don't live in the results.

01:45:13.580 We did it.

01:45:14.360 You know what I mean?

01:45:14.780 I think there are some things in there.

01:45:16.560 You know what I mean?

01:45:16.780 Yeah, we had a good time.

01:45:17.700 But if there isn't, fuck it.

01:45:18.760 I just want to have a good time with my friend.

01:45:20.720 Yeah, I had a good time at times.

01:45:22.400 And that is true, yeah.

01:45:23.220 Yeah, I think that sometimes you're confused,

01:45:25.700 but that's what I like about you.

01:45:27.080 Yeah.

01:45:27.500 I mean, you don't know what you're talking about.

01:45:29.900 Well, but I'm trying to learn, man.

01:45:31.240 And you're a learner, dude.

01:45:33.440 Sometimes you help me, sometimes you don't.

01:45:35.780 And I could say that same about you.

01:45:37.820 And I cannot believe that David Spade put you on that movie poster.

01:45:41.100 I think you did that.

01:45:42.480 He said that you did that.

01:45:43.720 No, he did not.

01:45:44.460 Yeah, you did.

01:45:44.960 I would never do that.

01:45:46.480 Yeah, you would.

01:45:47.220 I don't even know how to do that.

01:45:48.300 I went out of Photoshop.

01:45:51.100 Your people.

01:45:52.420 These guys know how.

01:45:53.820 And I went to Spade.

01:45:54.720 No, just listen.

01:45:55.780 Listen.

01:45:56.260 I went to Spade and I go,

01:45:58.100 dude, it's kind of fucking weird

01:45:58.980 that I have like two lines in this movie

01:46:00.520 and you put me in the center of this poster

01:46:01.840 and he goes,

01:46:03.000 really?

01:46:03.800 Fuck Theo.

01:46:05.680 That's what he said, dude.

01:46:09.000 That's what he said.

01:46:10.640 Should we call him?

01:46:12.720 Yeah.

01:46:13.360 I don't think he'll answer.

01:46:15.940 He's probably busy eating dinner or something.

01:46:18.300 because he has so much money.

01:46:19.460 Oh, sushi, probably.

01:46:20.840 It's always sushi with him.

01:46:22.480 Have you noticed that?

01:46:23.220 Yeah.

01:46:23.640 Yeah.

01:46:24.320 It is.

01:46:25.700 With a lot of you guys.

01:46:31.140 Let's see what he says.

01:46:32.600 That's a nice picture of us.

01:46:39.760 Let me call him.

01:46:41.120 Okay.

01:46:45.900 He could be taking a bath or whatever.

01:46:48.300 Are you guys calling me together?

01:46:50.520 No.

01:46:50.980 What are you talking about?

01:46:52.000 No.

01:46:52.320 No, Theo just called me.

01:46:53.540 Yeah.

01:46:54.000 But you know what I love?

01:46:55.080 You picked up for me and not him.

01:46:57.120 I knew it.

01:46:59.300 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:47:00.740 I love the fact that you picked up for me and you didn't pick up for Theo.

01:47:04.980 No, I love Theo, but I'm at dinner.

01:47:07.200 Yeah, but why would you pick up for me?

01:47:09.260 Because I knew you were in cahoots.

01:47:10.980 I go, we got a situation.

01:47:12.600 Yeah, yeah.

01:47:13.000 Well, just real quick, I want to clear something up, right?

01:47:15.740 Yeah.

01:47:16.440 All right, so when I said to you, you know what I mean?

01:47:18.300 why am I in the center of this poster

01:47:19.760 I only had three lines

01:47:20.740 and you said

01:47:21.740 oh fucking Theo

01:47:22.820 so Theo did it

01:47:24.720 yeah Theo did it

01:47:25.680 I don't think

01:47:26.720 I don't think Theo knew about it

01:47:27.880 I think it was

01:47:28.720 they just

01:47:29.600 somebody made it

01:47:30.380 and they were exploiting you guys

01:47:32.000 oh

01:47:33.560 they put me on it too

01:47:34.860 you're the star of the movie

01:47:37.600 who cares Bobby

01:47:39.460 oh you're right

01:47:40.400 Dave I'm sorry

01:47:41.140 are you eating Asian food

01:47:42.120 I invite myself

01:47:42.980 oh you should go

01:47:43.720 I'm eating Asian food yeah

01:47:44.880 yeah yeah I knew it

01:47:45.760 so I love you dude

01:47:47.060 no one's to blame

01:47:48.420 Thank you for putting me in the movie.

01:47:49.440 I love you, okay?

01:47:50.320 Yeah, and tell the waiter we're sorry for everything.

01:47:52.160 Okay.

01:47:53.580 I love you.

01:47:54.520 Bye.

01:47:57.140 It was you.

01:47:58.920 It couldn't have been me because I don't even have Photoshop.

01:48:02.320 Okay.

01:48:03.260 It was somebody, though, for sure.

01:48:04.020 But did I guess that he was eating Asian food?

01:48:05.880 But no, I do feel bad that I didn't ask.

01:48:07.860 I should have asked specifically.

01:48:08.760 I don't care, dude.

01:48:09.820 Dude, it's...

01:48:10.420 Well, I should have asked.

01:48:11.200 I didn't really think about it.

01:48:11.960 Bro, bro, bro, bro.

01:48:12.240 I think you would feel like...

01:48:13.100 Bro, bro, bro, bro.

01:48:13.600 i i'm so grateful that you asked me to do something that you've been working on

01:48:23.600 i mean what a blessing that is you know i just did an episode of episode of a show of a friend

01:48:30.960 i can't say it but um and he asked and i did it you know i mean and you know i knew who it was

01:48:37.340 peyton manning okay and was it he has a new show you have a new show yeah the bad shit and you

01:48:46.480 even tell me about yeah the bad show a game show and then also my hulu special comes out in november

01:48:52.420 my first special finally finally yeah and go check that out but um what took so long to be honest

01:48:58.320 when you really think about it was there a real reason that it kind of that it did take you a

01:49:01.160 while did you like not like doing specials did you think it was like not what it's about like

01:49:05.500 really really well it's so funny ask yourself why i wouldn't do it

01:49:08.860 why wouldn't he do it because he don't like to try he doesn't oh no yeah because i've been doing

01:49:16.040 the same act you know i mean i i slowly add jokes it was just no hurry really you know i mean and

01:49:23.120 they got to the point was like i was on stage and i was like i couldn't hear it anymore like i don't

01:49:30.840 care if it gets to laugh like i i just gotta evolve and so i penned a deal i go i'm gonna

01:49:37.060 get all this out there and it's gonna force me to write new shit you penned a deal are you

01:49:41.120 fucking thomas jefferson yeah dude yeah yeah i penned a deal dude like the constitution thanks

01:49:45.320 my bad yeah yeah yeah and i did it and it went pretty good and um i'm gonna when it comes out

01:49:52.120 i'm already writing way new shit and let's go and i'm gonna um the next hour will be better

01:49:58.080 I think I'm evolving

01:50:00.000 I really do

01:50:01.380 I feel you do

01:50:02.300 yeah yeah

01:50:02.560 and so

01:50:03.000 that's why

01:50:04.720 it took me so long

01:50:05.640 it was never

01:50:06.320 like here's the thing

01:50:07.360 about me

01:50:07.920 I don't know why

01:50:08.800 but you know

01:50:10.020 I was a club guy

01:50:11.040 what I mean by that

01:50:12.800 I did comedy clubs

01:50:13.780 and I always

01:50:15.120 sold out

01:50:16.200 even before

01:50:17.460 podcast

01:50:18.260 I would do well

01:50:19.140 so in my mind

01:50:20.060 that was like

01:50:20.500 no hurry

01:50:20.960 I never thought about

01:50:21.700 theaters or

01:50:22.660 coliseums

01:50:23.840 or anything like that

01:50:24.540 but I made a living

01:50:26.100 you know playing

01:50:26.920 I mean the yuck yucks

01:50:28.060 or whatever, right?

01:50:29.120 Oh, yeah, there's so many great clubs.

01:50:30.300 Yeah, so whatever.

01:50:31.500 And now it's like it's getting bigger, the audience,

01:50:35.300 and I want to grow with my brand,

01:50:38.280 and I want to expand, so that's what I'm doing.

01:50:41.120 Yeah.

01:50:42.120 That's cool, man.

01:50:43.240 Hey, man.

01:50:43.900 Yeah, dude, it's kind of crazy.

01:50:45.020 It's like evolving is kind of scary.

01:50:46.280 It's all kind of spooky sometimes,

01:50:47.660 like growing up, you know?

01:50:51.660 Does that make sense, kind of?

01:50:52.500 You're going to live on the edge of your comfort zone.

01:50:55.480 Fuck yeah.

01:50:55.900 That's how you grow.

01:50:56.720 that's how great men make it

01:50:58.920 take risks

01:51:00.480 and

01:51:01.440 go through the fire

01:51:03.300 and

01:51:04.740 I've always been

01:51:05.740 afraid of that

01:51:06.620 and I think

01:51:07.700 like we talked about

01:51:08.580 earlier silence

01:51:09.600 you know what I mean

01:51:10.720 that's all okay

01:51:12.080 that was almost great

01:51:17.320 but you know what

01:51:19.920 is great dude

01:51:20.760 is seeing you

01:51:21.660 really good to be here

01:51:22.440 anytime I get to spend time

01:51:23.360 with you I feel lucky

01:51:24.100 and your new show starts when

01:51:25.800 when does it start

01:51:26.360 so people can watch it.

01:51:28.080 The Bad Game Show will start in probably September, October.

01:51:31.060 Where's it going to be?

01:51:31.620 It's super funny.

01:51:32.380 YouTube.

01:51:33.000 Let's go.

01:51:33.820 Yeah, and there's the deadline.

01:51:36.160 All Things Comedy on the Bad Game Show.

01:51:38.080 Dude, you guys look great.

01:51:39.380 Yeah, yeah.

01:51:40.200 Holy frick.

01:51:40.820 And we have guests on, and two guests compete against each other in games we developed.

01:51:46.080 Dude, put me on the poster.

01:51:48.900 You said no to the game show.

01:51:50.480 Did I really?

01:51:51.000 Yeah, you did.

01:51:51.560 But you know what?

01:51:52.260 What?

01:51:52.680 Put me on the poster anyway.

01:51:54.040 Yeah, I did.

01:51:54.600 And I'll share that bitch.

01:51:55.740 All right, dude.

01:51:56.860 Thanks for having me.

01:51:57.920 Dude, I love you and thank you for being somebody that...

01:51:59.700 He just texted me again, Spade.

01:52:02.740 He FaceTimed me.

01:52:04.900 Let's see what he says because he might be on some bullshit.

01:52:09.520 Dude, he was in freaking Dickie Roberts.

01:52:11.440 I know, dude.

01:52:15.000 Dude, you've seen this laser?

01:52:15.980 Puts a little cock on your shirt.

01:52:17.200 Okay.

01:52:19.280 Oh, that's the tits.

01:52:21.500 Rick, I'm just going to hang up.

01:52:23.040 No, wait one more time.

01:52:24.580 He's getting older.

01:52:25.860 Yeah, so you did you FaceTime me?

01:52:30.700 I tried to.

01:52:32.280 Yeah, here's Thee.

01:52:34.280 What's up, dude?

01:52:36.420 I was trying to save Theo and like get him out of that interview.

01:52:43.440 There was no controversy.

01:52:45.440 He texted me the fucking password and I was like, oh, that means save him.

01:52:50.140 Yeah, dude, I did.

01:52:52.220 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

01:52:55.860 Wait, so thank you so much for that information.

01:52:58.600 I'll see you soon.

01:52:59.720 I love you.

01:53:00.360 I'm going to hang up the phone, okay?

01:53:01.840 All right.

01:53:02.640 I love you, bud.

01:53:03.880 No, no, no.

01:53:04.540 I love you.

01:53:04.960 I love you, bud.

01:53:05.960 All right, so...

01:53:08.340 You did.

01:53:10.520 Did I?

01:53:11.700 To be continued.

01:53:12.940 To be continued.

01:53:13.680 Now I'm just floating on the breeze

01:53:16.960 And I feel I'm falling like these leaves

01:53:19.900 I must be cornerstone

01:53:23.240 Oh, but when I reach that ground

01:53:27.800 I'll share this peace of mind

01:53:29.960 I found I can feel it

01:53:32.000 In my bones

01:53:34.120 But it's gonna take

01:53:36.680 Frozen lasagna, medium power, 15 minutes

01:53:44.340 Sounds like Ojo time!

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This Past Weekend with Theo Von - May 07, 2026

#657 - Bobby Lee

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