This Past Weekend with Theo Von - July 02, 2018


All Over the Place | This Past Weekend #109


Episode Stats

Length

1 hour and 13 minutes

Words per Minute

172.81502

Word Count

12,664

Sentence Count

478

Misogynist Sentences

34

Hate Speech Sentences

49


Summary

Sometimes you find yourself in the middle of nowhere, and that's where Theo finds himself. In this episode, Theo tells the story of how he found himself in a town called Wyoming, Illinois, and how he managed to find his way back home.


Transcript

00:00:00.000 Sometimes you find yourself in the middle of nowhere, and that's where you find yourself, if that makes any sense, man.
00:00:17.280 I mean, this episode is brought to you by Gray Block Pizza, 1811 Pico Boulevard in Los Angeles, and it's a special Italian, it's a place where you can get Italian pies and different types of Italian, Italianry.
00:00:35.540 So, you know, if you look around your life and you're Greek or you're Jewish or you're, you know, Sweden or something like that, or you're, you know, Tahitian or whatever, then you can change that up in a second by stopping at 1811 Pico Boulevard and filling your mouth with some of that swaggy Italian Gray Block Pizza, get that hitter.
00:00:56.320 However, this episode is brought to you also by this company called Ridge Wallet, and Ridge Wallet, it's that, you know, it's that fancy front lump.
00:01:09.360 People want that baby back, you know, people, they want that little baby back hump, you know, that old school wallet.
00:01:14.920 You know, you put it in your back pocket and it just rides your butt.
00:01:18.640 You know, next thing you know, four years later, you're sitting all lopsided.
00:01:21.720 You know what I'm saying?
00:01:23.160 You can't even, you know, you have to put a little piece of wood plank under your other butt cheek to even make yourself even so you can comfortably digest your food because your body is so lopsided from not having the correct posture and everything you need to eat correctly because you've been having that rear butt hump, that butt hump, that rear wallet.
00:01:43.800 Well, change it up now.
00:01:44.660 Get that front pocket carry, the Ridge Wallet.
00:01:47.860 It's practical.
00:01:48.960 It's easy.
00:01:49.500 And I use it.
00:01:50.500 And honestly, I like it.
00:01:52.560 And it also, it's bulletproof.
00:01:54.440 So if somebody's shooting at you, I mean, it's really, it's not very big, so it can be hard to block a bullet, but if you can line it up with the bullet, then you'll be able to maybe stop that bullet.
00:02:03.640 RidgeWallet.com slash Theo for 10% off your order.
00:02:07.000 RidgeWallet.com slash Theo.
00:02:10.200 I'm out here in the middle of nowhere, man.
00:02:12.440 But suddenly I'm right here with you guys, and I feel like I know exactly where I am.
00:02:19.040 I'm not lost anymore, you feel me?
00:02:21.360 Suddenly I'm just, I'm just found, you know.
00:02:25.380 She was hotter than the blacktop, broke down at a truck stop.
00:02:55.360 She looked about as wild as the story she told.
00:03:02.300 Said she was a Christian saving souls in Savannah, and the Lord was sending her to Alabama.
00:03:07.920 Had a pistol in her boots, blob hair, dark roots.
00:03:25.960 Said she got a hold, man, but I shouldn't be worried.
00:03:29.500 Though it seemed like she was in a hurry
00:03:32.300 Higher than a junkie drying out in the slammer
00:03:37.600 Lord, I hope I don't die in Alabama
00:03:40.120 Yeah, Alabama
00:03:46.540 I hope I
00:03:51.140 Higher than a junkie drying out in Savannah
00:03:54.900 Lord, I hope I don't die in Alabama
00:03:57.320 Thank you guys for being here
00:03:59.740 It is
00:04:00.780 Man, it's summer
00:04:02.900 Look, I'm coming at you from
00:04:04.160 I've been in rural Illinois all weekend
00:04:07.580 In a town called Wyoming, Illinois
00:04:09.960 And it's the second year in a row that we've come out here
00:04:13.620 And done some stand-up
00:04:15.480 Doing the jokes and doing the joy
00:04:17.420 You know, and
00:04:18.700 Man, I was
00:04:20.360 Let me tell you this
00:04:21.640 Last year we came
00:04:22.700 And most of the townspeople came
00:04:24.320 And this is a small town
00:04:25.340 You know what I'm saying?
00:04:26.260 Man, this is a small town where
00:04:27.820 If somebody farts across town
00:04:30.400 And you don't
00:04:30.860 If you're not there to hear it
00:04:31.920 A few hours later
00:04:33.480 Somebody will just tap you on the shoulder
00:04:34.980 When you're over at the gas station
00:04:36.740 And be like
00:04:37.080 Well, you heard what happened, didn't you?
00:04:39.680 And you're like
00:04:40.300 What?
00:04:40.680 And they're like
00:04:40.960 Well
00:04:41.520 Lawrence
00:04:43.560 You know he farted
00:04:45.300 So it's that kind of place
00:04:47.440 You can't even fart without somebody
00:04:48.920 Telling somebody else about it
00:04:50.280 You know, you'll hear people
00:04:51.840 Just, you know
00:04:52.680 Reenacting other people's farts around town
00:04:54.700 Just because it's that kind of place
00:04:56.100 You know what I'm saying?
00:04:57.760 If somebody
00:04:58.400 If somebody sneezes upwind of you
00:05:01.700 Even if it's a mile away
00:05:04.060 Then you, you know
00:05:05.740 You'll hear somebody
00:05:07.200 You'll hear a gesundheit
00:05:08.640 Down the hill
00:05:10.120 It's that kind of place where
00:05:11.460 You know, everything's just
00:05:13.300 Everything's connected
00:05:15.160 It's all
00:05:17.040 There's, you know
00:05:18.640 There's
00:05:19.040 Everything is just
00:05:20.540 Everything's connected, man
00:05:22.200 Like you'll even see
00:05:23.720 You'll see birds
00:05:25.700 And they look like
00:05:26.560 They've been there a while
00:05:27.640 Like in Los Angeles
00:05:29.300 I see a bird
00:05:30.060 And it's like
00:05:30.440 Oh, this fucker's just
00:05:31.400 Passing through
00:05:32.120 You know
00:05:32.940 He's just flying around
00:05:34.340 And maybe
00:05:34.720 You know
00:05:35.480 Shitting a little
00:05:36.440 And stuff like that
00:05:37.320 And copping a little bit of seed
00:05:38.760 And maybe
00:05:39.200 You know
00:05:39.920 Trying to fuck a falcon
00:05:41.240 Or something down by the beach
00:05:42.360 But after that
00:05:43.240 He's gonna jet town
00:05:44.260 But you're out here
00:05:46.360 And you know
00:05:46.700 I'm in these
00:05:47.040 In these rural areas
00:05:48.820 You know
00:05:49.760 And it seems like
00:05:51.140 And you see a bird
00:05:52.920 And you're like
00:05:53.380 Oh, that
00:05:53.880 Okay
00:05:54.520 This his area
00:05:55.940 You know
00:05:56.960 This his block
00:05:57.740 Around here
00:05:58.480 You know
00:05:59.840 Maybe he's a parent
00:06:00.740 Or a granddaddy
00:06:01.840 You know
00:06:02.460 I saw a sparrow
00:06:03.320 Look like he probably
00:06:04.000 Had a couple stepchildren
00:06:05.360 But you know
00:06:06.600 Everything has more
00:06:07.380 Of a story
00:06:08.080 Because everything
00:06:10.120 Has more room
00:06:11.640 To have a story
00:06:12.560 You know
00:06:13.940 I think about that stuff
00:06:14.760 Sometimes
00:06:15.140 Like in a smaller town
00:06:16.220 It's
00:06:16.580 You know
00:06:19.040 I don't know
00:06:19.600 I just get so dialed in
00:06:20.940 I get so dialed in
00:06:22.720 And I just
00:06:24.240 Everything just feels
00:06:25.880 Like
00:06:27.960 Say if you're
00:06:28.520 Driving past a park
00:06:29.820 In a small town
00:06:30.640 The toys in the park
00:06:31.880 And the swings
00:06:32.780 And the slide
00:06:34.120 They
00:06:34.440 Suddenly
00:06:35.600 They stand out
00:06:36.660 Like they have room
00:06:37.900 To breathe
00:06:38.500 They
00:06:39.060 They mean something
00:06:41.080 You know
00:06:42.320 They hold memories
00:06:43.200 Of
00:06:43.560 Of
00:06:44.200 Of people's pasts
00:06:46.360 And of
00:06:46.820 You know
00:06:47.620 Of
00:06:47.860 Children in the springtime
00:06:51.060 Or
00:06:51.320 You know
00:06:52.120 On a fall day
00:06:53.440 When
00:06:53.760 You know
00:06:54.660 School got out early
00:06:55.800 And the kids
00:06:56.720 Hit the park
00:06:57.460 You know
00:07:00.880 It just
00:07:01.200 Or the swing set
00:07:02.500 It might be like
00:07:03.080 Oh you know
00:07:03.580 Maybe you
00:07:04.200 You know
00:07:05.560 It's
00:07:06.100 That swing set
00:07:06.980 Holds memories
00:07:07.640 Of like a
00:07:08.240 You know
00:07:08.760 A boy
00:07:09.320 You know
00:07:10.860 First time he swang
00:07:12.080 Next to a girl
00:07:12.980 Because you remember that
00:07:13.940 I don't know if you remember that
00:07:14.760 I remember being in elementary school
00:07:16.460 And I was in elementary school
00:07:18.600 You know
00:07:19.480 Some kids didn't go to school at all
00:07:21.140 I mean
00:07:21.460 They had a boy in our town
00:07:22.520 Didn't go to school at all
00:07:23.700 And people thought he was deaf
00:07:25.280 And he just
00:07:25.840 Didn't know anything
00:07:27.120 So I don't know
00:07:28.460 Whatever happened to him
00:07:29.260 Dude probably
00:07:29.880 Honestly
00:07:30.380 Could have gotten hit by a car
00:07:31.540 Because
00:07:31.900 If you don't know about school
00:07:33.520 Man
00:07:33.860 You easily
00:07:34.520 You know
00:07:35.920 Could not know how streets work
00:07:37.500 Or
00:07:37.740 Could not know how basic
00:07:38.980 You know
00:07:40.880 How to deal with automobiliary
00:07:42.660 When it's
00:07:43.380 You know
00:07:43.640 Passing by
00:07:44.380 But anyhow
00:07:45.360 Yeah
00:07:47.320 And I remember the first time
00:07:48.460 You know
00:07:49.120 Like I would swing on a swing set
00:07:50.720 Next to a girl
00:07:51.540 Like my whole
00:07:52.420 My whole body
00:07:53.700 The side of my body
00:07:54.720 Next to the girl
00:07:55.820 Was just like
00:07:56.640 Just
00:07:58.200 Just
00:07:59.200 Almost
00:08:00.020 Rigor mortis
00:08:02.540 Had
00:08:02.900 Set in
00:08:03.860 You know
00:08:04.920 Just rigor mortis
00:08:05.960 My whole body
00:08:06.540 Just like
00:08:07.000 All the blood was over there
00:08:08.380 Just like
00:08:08.760 Listening for her heartbeat
00:08:10.220 You know
00:08:11.000 My whole
00:08:11.440 That side of my body
00:08:12.340 Was just so heavy
00:08:13.160 You know
00:08:13.920 The swing she was closest to
00:08:15.740 Next to me
00:08:16.380 Suddenly
00:08:17.340 Like
00:08:17.660 The other side of my body
00:08:19.140 Had just gone
00:08:19.620 Bleach white
00:08:20.980 And that other side of my body
00:08:22.720 Where she was
00:08:24.120 All the blood
00:08:24.940 Had run over there
00:08:25.720 I was just listening
00:08:26.520 Just trying to get as close
00:08:27.920 To this
00:08:28.300 You know
00:08:28.600 Young lass
00:08:29.300 As I could
00:08:29.940 You know
00:08:30.280 Because I was feeling
00:08:31.120 You know
00:08:31.860 It's just what I was feeling
00:08:32.840 I mean
00:08:33.680 I was just feeling alive
00:08:34.980 And I think that
00:08:36.260 That that's what you see
00:08:38.540 Whenever you're in a smaller town
00:08:39.660 Things just stand out more
00:08:41.000 You know
00:08:42.860 Like
00:08:43.200 And things have more room to breathe
00:08:46.000 You see a tree
00:08:46.760 And you're like
00:08:47.200 Oh that tree
00:08:47.900 You know
00:08:49.560 Somebody has a story
00:08:50.560 That goes with it
00:08:51.500 Or
00:08:52.000 Oh my grandfather and I
00:08:53.340 Used to sit under there
00:08:54.280 And
00:08:54.520 You know
00:08:55.320 We used to
00:08:55.940 Read or think about stuff
00:08:57.860 Or
00:08:58.140 You know
00:08:58.800 My uncle used to hide behind there
00:09:00.520 And
00:09:00.760 You know
00:09:01.600 You're
00:09:01.940 Or whatever he wanted to do
00:09:03.700 Drink lemonade
00:09:04.500 Or something like that
00:09:05.460 Or just
00:09:05.840 You know
00:09:06.600 Make homemade tires
00:09:07.760 Or whatever he wanted to do
00:09:09.000 Comb his hair
00:09:09.820 You know
00:09:10.360 Put motor oil in his hair
00:09:11.920 And comb his hair
00:09:12.620 And wear fucking tight shirts
00:09:14.000 You know
00:09:14.440 And put fucking sand
00:09:16.040 You know
00:09:16.720 Put sand
00:09:17.400 You know
00:09:18.040 Put sand in his shoes
00:09:19.200 And just pretend he was at the beach
00:09:20.700 I mean
00:09:21.600 Everybody
00:09:21.920 You know
00:09:22.220 But I just feel like
00:09:22.840 In a small town
00:09:23.480 You get more stories
00:09:24.680 You know
00:09:25.820 You get more
00:09:26.900 I don't know
00:09:28.680 Things just have more room
00:09:30.040 And I feel like that man
00:09:32.860 When I get
00:09:33.500 When I'm in the cities
00:09:34.480 When I'm in some of the city
00:09:36.040 I just
00:09:36.400 You feel a little bit more
00:09:38.080 You ever put a file in a zip drive
00:09:41.780 You ever do that
00:09:42.440 If you're emailing somebody
00:09:43.440 You'd send them a group of files at once
00:09:45.080 But you can zip drive it
00:09:46.440 And it's the same information
00:09:47.980 It's just like
00:09:48.800 Air sealed
00:09:49.880 Kind of
00:09:50.260 It's like
00:09:50.680 Compact
00:09:51.740 That's how I feel
00:09:53.540 When I'm in the city
00:09:54.140 There's just no room
00:09:55.300 Even sometimes
00:09:56.340 For my imagination
00:09:57.560 To reach its arms out
00:10:00.020 Of my brain
00:10:01.420 And just
00:10:02.600 You know
00:10:03.080 Pet the world
00:10:03.980 And that's one
00:10:05.580 And that's something
00:10:06.280 That drives me crazy sometimes
00:10:08.220 And I feel like
00:10:09.340 I'm not gonna get that
00:10:10.240 I'm not gonna get that space
00:10:11.460 I'm not gonna get any of that brain
00:10:12.940 You know
00:10:13.800 I'm never gonna have that again
00:10:14.780 And then I come to a town
00:10:16.040 Like I did this weekend
00:10:17.000 Over here to Wyoming, Illinois
00:10:19.380 And man
00:10:21.560 This place
00:10:21.880 1,600 people
00:10:22.760 And I came here last year
00:10:23.880 And
00:10:24.820 And it's a
00:10:26.340 You know
00:10:26.580 The town could probably use
00:10:27.520 A little bit of diversity
00:10:28.500 Here and there
00:10:29.260 You know
00:10:30.440 It's definitely a little bit
00:10:31.560 You know
00:10:33.460 It's
00:10:33.740 It's
00:10:34.580 It's got a little bit
00:10:35.620 It's definitely got some
00:10:36.220 Old school white in it
00:10:37.440 But it's good people
00:10:40.140 You know
00:10:41.580 I mean
00:10:41.960 Most of the people
00:10:42.620 Are just friendly
00:10:43.400 You know
00:10:44.880 Just loving people
00:10:47.000 You know
00:10:47.940 You see a lot of people up here
00:10:48.960 That raise foster children
00:10:50.320 And do that sort of thing
00:10:51.780 You know
00:10:54.140 A lot of people
00:10:54.820 Are
00:10:55.300 You know
00:10:55.740 Have
00:10:56.060 Church as part of their lives
00:10:58.260 Or religion of some sort
00:11:00.140 You know
00:11:00.420 It could be whatever
00:11:01.040 Their religion is
00:11:02.020 But I think
00:11:03.120 In smaller towns
00:11:03.980 There's just more
00:11:04.480 It feels like
00:11:05.220 There's more room
00:11:06.060 For anything
00:11:07.300 And
00:11:08.960 And I had a good time man
00:11:10.520 It was nice just to
00:11:11.940 You know
00:11:13.580 Suddenly just feel
00:11:14.760 Human
00:11:15.780 Because in Los Angeles
00:11:17.260 Things can get so unhuman
00:11:18.900 And look
00:11:21.040 I love
00:11:21.880 Look
00:11:22.140 I have a lot of great friends
00:11:23.540 In Los Angeles
00:11:23.900 But I'm just saying
00:11:24.760 There's so much going on
00:11:26.220 It's almost like
00:11:28.140 Time
00:11:28.780 And mother nature
00:11:29.700 And
00:11:30.420 Life cannot keep it all organized
00:11:32.800 And
00:11:34.500 And when you're in LA
00:11:36.140 It feels like the world
00:11:37.280 Is just kind of juggling
00:11:38.460 A million things at once
00:11:40.020 And when you're out here
00:11:41.880 I feel like the world
00:11:42.660 Has just like
00:11:43.240 Kind of set the balls down
00:11:44.640 On the ground
00:11:45.760 And
00:11:46.940 And the balls can rest
00:11:48.660 They don't have to be flying around
00:11:49.860 In the air anymore
00:11:50.680 So it's just nice man
00:11:52.320 It's nice to be a part of it
00:11:53.420 And it's nice to get into a place
00:11:54.880 And feel like I'm okay
00:11:55.820 In these places
00:11:56.580 You know
00:11:58.100 Driving past cornfields
00:11:59.640 And
00:11:59.840 Reminded me
00:12:01.660 When I used to
00:12:02.280 You know
00:12:02.540 Plant corn and cotton
00:12:03.940 And
00:12:05.040 You know
00:12:07.400 Seeing
00:12:07.800 You know
00:12:09.740 Driving by a fair
00:12:10.780 You know
00:12:11.080 Drove by like a small town
00:12:12.180 One of those carnivals
00:12:13.120 You know
00:12:13.360 Those shady carnivals
00:12:14.360 Come to town
00:12:15.080 And
00:12:15.300 It's usually a lot of alcoholics
00:12:17.260 And people
00:12:17.660 You know
00:12:18.380 Different types
00:12:20.100 Of methamphetamines
00:12:21.640 And
00:12:21.900 People
00:12:22.780 You know
00:12:23.300 Hopped up on uppers
00:12:24.400 Basically trying to keep
00:12:26.080 Goldfish alive
00:12:27.100 Traveling from town to town
00:12:28.400 And you see one of those
00:12:30.480 Go on
00:12:31.040 And
00:12:31.280 Just reminding me of time
00:12:32.600 I used to be out there
00:12:33.660 You know
00:12:33.980 Trying to touch a little bit of titty
00:12:35.360 Or vomit behind a super slide
00:12:37.480 Just things
00:12:38.800 I don't know
00:12:39.340 Maybe it's just because
00:12:40.180 I'm from a smaller place
00:12:41.040 I see a smaller place
00:12:41.960 And it reminds me
00:12:42.840 But it's also nice to know
00:12:44.520 That I don't feel disconnected
00:12:45.560 From those places
00:12:46.480 You know
00:12:47.540 I don't
00:12:48.520 And that's something I worry about
00:12:50.280 A lot of times
00:12:50.960 Like
00:12:51.380 About how
00:12:52.760 How
00:12:53.260 How I change
00:12:54.820 Or how I can change
00:12:55.880 From living in a city
00:12:56.800 Or living in one place
00:12:57.940 You know
00:13:00.580 And how you become
00:13:01.580 More accustomed to things
00:13:03.040 Because as humans
00:13:04.160 Man
00:13:04.360 We become accustomed
00:13:05.340 So easily
00:13:06.540 It's so
00:13:08.100 Like people always say
00:13:08.880 Don't forget where you came from
00:13:09.760 You don't forget where you
00:13:10.800 Where you come from
00:13:12.100 But you get used to
00:13:14.120 Feeling like
00:13:15.060 Where you are
00:13:15.900 You know
00:13:17.700 It's amazing
00:13:18.460 How adaptable we are
00:13:20.000 And how I bet
00:13:21.760 You can go
00:13:22.200 You can go forward
00:13:23.060 And backward
00:13:23.580 And that's
00:13:26.940 You know
00:13:27.340 Life's exciting like that
00:13:29.780 Dude
00:13:30.600 We got a crazy week
00:13:32.080 We got Jordan Peterson
00:13:33.180 Coming in
00:13:33.840 A lot of people
00:13:34.500 Are really excited about that
00:13:35.540 And I'm grateful
00:13:36.120 You know
00:13:36.820 He's coming in this week
00:13:37.800 And he's a premier thinker
00:13:41.500 You know
00:13:42.940 I was just talking
00:13:43.760 With my buddy
00:13:44.440 Simon Rex
00:13:45.020 About him
00:13:45.620 And
00:13:46.480 And
00:13:47.720 He kind of
00:13:49.260 If you're not familiar with him
00:13:51.100 You know
00:13:51.400 You can check out
00:13:51.980 Jordan Peterson
00:13:52.460 He's a speaker
00:13:54.000 He's a brain
00:13:54.760 He's a mouth
00:13:55.420 He's a orator
00:13:56.420 He's a thinker
00:13:57.620 He's a philosopher
00:13:58.900 And
00:14:00.220 And he's a professor
00:14:02.120 In
00:14:02.820 In Canada
00:14:03.700 But
00:14:04.300 You know
00:14:06.200 I think he almost
00:14:07.220 He has this voice
00:14:08.300 That embody
00:14:08.960 That like
00:14:09.760 I don't know
00:14:10.940 A lot of men
00:14:11.560 From my generation
00:14:12.200 Feel like
00:14:12.560 It almost
00:14:12.940 Seems like
00:14:13.640 They were fatherless
00:14:14.540 Or they
00:14:14.880 They weren't getting
00:14:15.740 The fatherly advice
00:14:16.720 That they needed
00:14:17.360 And I feel like
00:14:18.420 It's a lot of those men
00:14:19.320 That go towards him
00:14:20.340 Right now
00:14:20.900 And are listening to him
00:14:22.460 It's like
00:14:24.520 You know
00:14:25.000 Even though he's Canadian
00:14:25.740 He's like America's
00:14:26.660 Number one
00:14:27.080 You know
00:14:27.680 Number two step daddy
00:14:28.780 You know
00:14:29.280 I know Simon Rex
00:14:30.080 Likes to say
00:14:30.560 He's the number one
00:14:31.480 But
00:14:32.420 Anyhow man
00:14:33.400 I've had a good time
00:14:34.120 This weekend
00:14:34.800 You know
00:14:35.320 So many people
00:14:35.960 Came out to the show
00:14:36.740 In Wyoming
00:14:37.140 Last year when I was there
00:14:38.780 And it's a fundraiser show
00:14:40.200 My mother grew up
00:14:40.900 In this small town
00:14:41.660 And so we do fundraiser
00:14:42.740 To keep the theater
00:14:44.840 And the history
00:14:45.520 And the arts department
00:14:47.100 Alive here in this town
00:14:48.600 And
00:14:50.600 And man
00:14:52.280 You know
00:14:53.240 Last year
00:14:53.780 A lot of the locals
00:14:54.800 Bought tickets
00:14:55.420 And this year
00:14:56.040 People came from everywhere
00:14:57.180 You know
00:14:58.000 We had a father son
00:14:58.980 They said they were
00:14:59.560 Father son
00:15:00.140 I thought they might
00:15:00.760 Have been up to something
00:15:01.500 You know
00:15:02.260 A little better
00:15:03.080 That a dark arts
00:15:04.480 But they said
00:15:05.400 That they had the same blood
00:15:06.480 In each one of their bodies
00:15:07.460 So
00:15:08.400 They came out
00:15:09.500 People drove in
00:15:10.160 From St. Louis
00:15:10.900 Wisconsin
00:15:11.580 Chicago
00:15:12.340 I mean
00:15:14.340 I would say
00:15:15.660 85% of the tickets
00:15:18.920 Were bought
00:15:19.540 Not from people
00:15:20.340 In the town
00:15:20.940 So
00:15:21.960 It was just incredible
00:15:23.100 You know
00:15:23.800 We all kind of
00:15:24.340 Some dudes showed up
00:15:25.420 A couple of young bucks
00:15:26.520 These fellas from Chicago
00:15:27.700 They were outside of the theater
00:15:30.620 Trying to get an Uber
00:15:31.400 At the end of the night
00:15:32.180 And
00:15:32.380 I'll tell you this
00:15:33.660 There's no Ubers
00:15:34.420 I mean
00:15:35.740 This is
00:15:36.100 An area
00:15:36.720 We still have to hitchhike
00:15:37.900 You know
00:15:39.340 What I'm saying
00:15:39.740 That Uber
00:15:40.960 That's
00:15:41.300 You got one Uber
00:15:42.820 On each hand
00:15:43.500 Daddy
00:15:43.860 That's that thumb
00:15:44.760 You got to use that
00:15:45.800 You know
00:15:46.180 That beautiful thumb ship
00:15:47.320 And
00:15:48.700 And these fellas
00:15:49.920 Were out there
00:15:50.560 They're like
00:15:51.980 Yeah we got
00:15:52.640 We got water
00:15:54.040 And we got
00:15:54.940 Trail mix
00:15:55.860 We'll be fine
00:15:56.740 I'm like
00:15:57.160 Good luck dude
00:15:58.000 You guys probably
00:15:59.060 Gonna get accosted
00:16:00.700 Or molested
00:16:01.260 But
00:16:01.740 Sometimes that happens
00:16:03.880 You know
00:16:04.260 And sometimes that makes you
00:16:05.200 Feel right at home
00:16:05.800 If you get
00:16:06.240 You know
00:16:06.900 Somebody that
00:16:07.640 You don't know
00:16:08.580 But with
00:16:08.960 You know
00:16:09.440 Seem to have a big heart
00:16:10.660 Kind of sneaks up
00:16:11.940 And jerks you off
00:16:12.780 That can't
00:16:13.320 You know
00:16:14.320 That can make you feel
00:16:15.120 Kind of
00:16:15.620 You know
00:16:15.880 Part of
00:16:16.440 Part of an area
00:16:17.240 Yeah I had fun
00:16:19.540 Just you know
00:16:20.220 My brother brought
00:16:21.780 A bunch of crawfish
00:16:22.600 Up here from Louisiana
00:16:23.520 And
00:16:24.780 And so we
00:16:25.600 Did a crawfish boil
00:16:26.740 Up here
00:16:27.120 So people could
00:16:27.740 Be a part of that
00:16:28.560 And
00:16:28.760 So it's been
00:16:29.900 A peaceful weekend
00:16:30.740 I got to see
00:16:31.360 My nephews
00:16:32.140 And my niece
00:16:32.900 And
00:16:33.160 Just spend time
00:16:34.360 With my family
00:16:34.940 And people that I love
00:16:36.040 And so
00:16:36.820 You know
00:16:38.760 And people that
00:16:39.360 We haven't always had
00:16:40.280 That family closeness
00:16:42.000 So as it comes
00:16:42.680 Into my life now
00:16:43.480 I have to
00:16:44.340 I have to show up for it
00:16:46.580 I mean there's times
00:16:47.520 Where I want to not get
00:16:48.480 You know
00:16:48.980 Not
00:16:49.280 You know
00:16:50.640 Take it
00:16:51.720 Eat
00:16:51.860 Take the nap
00:16:52.460 Take the
00:16:52.920 I got to show up
00:16:54.180 I just got to be there
00:16:55.480 With my eyes open
00:16:56.380 And my heart open
00:16:57.500 And just hope to catch
00:16:59.180 Some little pieces of love
00:17:00.980 That are floating around
00:17:02.460 When people get together
00:17:03.340 And that's another thing
00:17:04.800 In these smaller towns
00:17:05.680 Man people
00:17:06.080 Dude I didn't realize this
00:17:07.740 Like without the
00:17:08.440 Like they only get 4G
00:17:09.960 On their phones
00:17:10.680 Like my phone
00:17:12.460 Has had 4G
00:17:13.240 For the past
00:17:13.940 Three days
00:17:14.780 Okay
00:17:15.100 So it's really hard
00:17:17.160 To
00:17:17.500 You're not using
00:17:19.500 You're not watching
00:17:21.220 A ton of stuff
00:17:21.660 On your phone
00:17:22.020 Because you can't do it
00:17:23.440 It doesn't even work
00:17:24.360 So you're just like
00:17:25.680 Fuck all that
00:17:26.520 You know
00:17:27.300 And you just spend time
00:17:28.560 With who you're around
00:17:29.380 And
00:17:30.340 And that's not as easy
00:17:31.840 To do in a city
00:17:32.620 You know
00:17:32.940 So it's just
00:17:33.600 You know
00:17:34.560 Suddenly
00:17:34.960 I get a little bit more
00:17:36.320 Of an inkling
00:17:36.920 Of just myself
00:17:37.960 And I start getting
00:17:39.480 Just more ideas
00:17:41.780 Pop into my head
00:17:42.700 You know
00:17:43.720 I get an idea
00:17:44.600 Like oh
00:17:45.960 Where's that been
00:17:46.800 But if I get so much
00:17:48.500 Influence
00:17:49.160 Then it's less ideas
00:17:50.980 You know
00:17:52.080 Because
00:17:52.620 You know
00:17:54.420 An idea
00:17:54.840 Is just influence
00:17:55.700 From inside of yourself
00:17:58.220 But you know
00:17:59.700 We get so influenced
00:18:00.660 From the outside
00:18:01.420 These days
00:18:02.040 That
00:18:02.460 It's like ideas
00:18:04.140 Are like
00:18:04.560 Damn
00:18:04.920 They've been run out of town
00:18:06.040 So it was
00:18:08.000 You know
00:18:08.540 I found myself
00:18:09.080 Getting a few more ideas
00:18:10.360 Because I just adapt
00:18:13.360 So quick
00:18:13.940 You know
00:18:14.360 You know
00:18:15.180 You take away one thing
00:18:16.020 And your brain
00:18:16.400 Will get back
00:18:16.920 Pretty quickly
00:18:17.500 I believe
00:18:18.080 Even though I worry
00:18:19.260 We get trapped
00:18:19.820 In this hole
00:18:20.400 In this wormhole
00:18:21.240 These days
00:18:21.760 With the technology
00:18:22.860 But
00:18:24.700 And that song
00:18:26.080 On the way in
00:18:26.660 That was
00:18:27.020 Alabama
00:18:28.480 By Bishop Gunn
00:18:29.740 You guys know
00:18:30.380 That band
00:18:31.740 But Alabama
00:18:32.720 By Bishop Gunn
00:18:33.480 We'll have the link
00:18:34.040 To them below
00:18:34.860 If you have calls
00:18:35.800 For Jordan Peterson
00:18:36.520 Make sure to get them
00:18:37.740 Into the hotline
00:18:39.160 985-664-9503
00:18:42.020 And you can always leave calls
00:18:43.760 For any of our guests
00:18:45.340 There
00:18:45.720 Or on the
00:18:46.600 The fan line
00:18:47.620 And the fan line
00:18:48.320 Is where you can leave
00:18:48.960 Video questions
00:18:50.420 For our guests
00:18:52.380 And
00:18:53.000 That link is on
00:18:54.400 The YouTube page
00:18:55.420 Also make sure to
00:18:56.520 Subscribe to the podcast
00:18:57.660 You know
00:18:59.200 We need subscribers
00:19:00.100 We could use
00:19:02.180 Any support
00:19:02.860 As well
00:19:04.420 If you have
00:19:05.080 A product
00:19:06.180 That you feel like
00:19:06.940 Would be dope
00:19:07.940 That you want to
00:19:09.300 Advertise on the
00:19:09.960 On the podcast
00:19:10.940 You know
00:19:11.920 Hit us with an email
00:19:13.360 There's an email
00:19:14.540 On the website
00:19:15.360 On TheoVon.com
00:19:17.240 What else man
00:19:19.800 I'm just been
00:19:20.260 I'm just trying to
00:19:21.480 Navigate this industry
00:19:22.420 You know
00:19:22.680 This
00:19:22.860 Hollywood is a
00:19:23.920 Sneaky industry
00:19:24.700 You know
00:19:25.600 It's a sneaky
00:19:26.580 It's a sneaky industry
00:19:28.300 And I'm just trying to
00:19:29.840 Navigate it
00:19:30.540 As well as I can
00:19:31.980 And it's tough
00:19:33.840 Man
00:19:34.200 And it's tough
00:19:36.600 You know
00:19:37.080 But I'm grateful
00:19:38.560 I'm realizing
00:19:39.300 More and more
00:19:40.020 That
00:19:40.380 Some of the
00:19:41.200 Acquaintances
00:19:41.820 That I have around me
00:19:42.920 That they want
00:19:44.500 That they just want
00:19:45.980 To make good
00:19:46.680 Stuff
00:19:47.660 And
00:19:49.160 And
00:19:50.580 And a lot of it
00:19:52.180 Sometimes it's just me
00:19:53.260 I just have to trust
00:19:54.580 You know
00:19:55.720 So much
00:19:56.160 Sometimes I want to be
00:19:57.160 So individualistic
00:19:58.500 Sometimes
00:19:59.140 That it's not
00:20:02.320 It's not even
00:20:03.340 Might not even be
00:20:04.220 To my benefit
00:20:04.780 Sometimes
00:20:05.380 You know
00:20:06.420 That I just need to learn
00:20:07.280 To be more trusting
00:20:08.300 And to know that
00:20:11.500 That
00:20:12.900 I've noticed one thing
00:20:14.780 More things get done
00:20:16.020 When I don't try to do
00:20:17.120 Things alone
00:20:17.860 Man
00:20:19.480 For so long
00:20:20.200 In my life
00:20:20.600 I was like
00:20:20.920 I gotta do this shit alone
00:20:21.920 I gotta do
00:20:22.400 Nah
00:20:22.820 Me man
00:20:23.420 I can handle it
00:20:24.660 I can handle it
00:20:25.720 I can handle it
00:20:27.260 You know
00:20:28.120 I can handle it
00:20:29.280 Susan
00:20:29.660 Even
00:20:30.660 I don't even know
00:20:31.200 A Susan
00:20:31.620 And I would say
00:20:32.100 That kind of shit
00:20:32.820 But the truth is
00:20:35.060 Yes
00:20:35.680 I can handle it
00:20:36.560 But I can also
00:20:37.660 Not be alone
00:20:38.480 While I handle it
00:20:39.440 And that's something
00:20:41.220 That I'm just
00:20:41.640 Kind of grasping
00:20:42.360 Recently
00:20:42.860 But man
00:20:44.200 My brain is rattled
00:20:45.100 I'm all over the place
00:20:46.320 You know
00:20:47.020 I've been on vacation
00:20:47.940 But I wanted to be here
00:20:49.220 For you guys
00:20:49.760 Because I know
00:20:50.180 That you guys
00:20:50.760 Are here for me
00:20:51.520 And we're getting
00:20:53.700 I mean it's wild
00:20:54.520 Man
00:20:54.740 So many people
00:20:55.240 Are listening these days
00:20:56.300 And you know
00:20:57.300 So many beautiful people
00:20:58.340 Came out to the show
00:20:59.620 This weekend
00:21:00.220 That just love the podcast
00:21:02.160 You know
00:21:03.420 A couple that was
00:21:03.960 About to move to Houston
00:21:05.000 There were four or five ladies
00:21:07.740 That all work
00:21:08.240 In an office together
00:21:09.320 And I loved
00:21:10.080 You know
00:21:10.360 I thought that was fun
00:21:11.360 Man my first job
00:21:12.960 I ever had
00:21:13.620 I used to
00:21:15.860 You know
00:21:16.520 The same girl
00:21:17.180 Actually
00:21:17.620 I've told this story
00:21:18.320 Before
00:21:18.560 There was a girl
00:21:19.040 That kind of
00:21:19.980 Masturbated me
00:21:20.780 Into a
00:21:21.360 Into a creek
00:21:23.540 Or into a
00:21:24.780 You know
00:21:26.300 Sorry
00:21:26.660 The first hand job
00:21:27.720 That I ever got
00:21:28.420 You know
00:21:30.140 You know
00:21:31.000 This girl
00:21:31.440 Spray
00:21:31.860 You know
00:21:32.180 Give me a hand job
00:21:33.180 And I don't just say
00:21:34.140 This girl
00:21:34.780 It wasn't just like
00:21:35.640 Some floozy
00:21:36.440 It was you know
00:21:36.980 The love of my life
00:21:38.320 At the time
00:21:38.920 But she hand jobbed me
00:21:40.820 Into this
00:21:41.720 Like river
00:21:43.840 Part of a river
00:21:44.580 But it was like
00:21:45.640 Part of a river
00:21:46.220 Where it kind of
00:21:46.760 Comes off to the side
00:21:47.620 Like a little
00:21:48.100 Just like a little
00:21:50.540 Pond
00:21:51.020 Like a bay
00:21:51.700 Like a little
00:21:52.320 Like not the main
00:21:54.640 Part of the river
00:21:55.160 A little part
00:21:55.700 Where the river
00:21:56.160 Kind of reaches off
00:21:57.080 And doesn't do anything
00:21:57.880 Over there
00:21:58.480 You know
00:21:59.680 Like part of the river
00:22:00.340 That's always resting
00:22:01.280 Kind of off to the side
00:22:02.400 In like a little hole
00:22:03.280 But anyway
00:22:04.180 This girl kind of
00:22:04.980 Hand jobbed me
00:22:05.740 Into that
00:22:06.220 Into that deal
00:22:06.940 And had some fish
00:22:07.700 In there
00:22:08.100 And the fish swam up
00:22:09.460 And um
00:22:11.180 And the part
00:22:12.700 You know
00:22:13.220 The part of my body
00:22:13.980 That had sprayed out
00:22:14.820 Into the water
00:22:15.420 The fish
00:22:16.640 Snacked on that
00:22:18.360 You know
00:22:19.300 They ate up all my
00:22:20.160 You know
00:22:22.000 All my
00:22:22.440 You know
00:22:24.440 All my adventure
00:22:25.360 Sauce
00:22:26.240 Or whatever
00:22:26.660 Was inside of my body
00:22:27.760 And um
00:22:29.500 What's this story about
00:22:31.040 Damn
00:22:31.780 I can't even remember
00:22:32.160 What this story's about
00:22:32.780 Um
00:22:33.500 Uh
00:22:35.560 What the fuck
00:22:36.920 Was I talking about
00:22:37.960 I was talking about
00:22:39.400 Um
00:22:39.900 Shit
00:22:42.280 Um
00:22:44.900 Oh
00:22:45.380 Oh
00:22:45.900 Something about
00:22:49.220 Sexual
00:22:49.860 This
00:22:51.200 Um
00:22:51.820 Oh
00:22:53.320 Ah
00:22:54.240 Mmm
00:22:56.440 Oh
00:22:59.500 Some
00:22:59.840 People that came out
00:23:02.800 To the show
00:23:03.380 Fuck
00:23:05.800 I don't know
00:23:06.380 Anyway
00:23:06.540 I don't know how
00:23:06.900 I got into
00:23:07.260 Something about
00:23:07.720 A hand job
00:23:08.100 But yeah
00:23:08.720 All types of people
00:23:09.520 Came out to the show
00:23:10.340 You know
00:23:11.140 And it was just
00:23:11.780 Oh oh oh
00:23:12.880 Because
00:23:13.280 I remember
00:23:14.360 This girl that I dated
00:23:15.320 That girl
00:23:15.960 That hand jobbed me
00:23:16.960 Into that
00:23:17.500 Passive area
00:23:18.640 Of water
00:23:19.280 Her
00:23:20.460 I used to work at
00:23:22.500 Um
00:23:23.060 With one of her
00:23:23.920 Family members
00:23:24.660 And they gave me
00:23:25.680 One of my first jobs
00:23:26.820 And um
00:23:28.460 And I was
00:23:29.900 You know
00:23:30.280 I worked as like
00:23:30.940 An office clerk
00:23:32.200 And so I'd be out there
00:23:33.700 Doing clerk
00:23:34.780 Office type stuff
00:23:35.740 And I worked in an office
00:23:36.640 With four or five
00:23:37.440 Or six or seven ladies
00:23:38.940 And a couple of them
00:23:40.340 Always had carpal tunnels
00:23:41.460 And a couple of them
00:23:42.160 Always
00:23:42.480 You know
00:23:43.100 Had on a neck brace
00:23:44.160 Or some kind of shit
00:23:44.940 Because we worked
00:23:45.660 In insurance
00:23:46.220 Or something
00:23:46.820 And so everybody
00:23:47.940 Was always faking something
00:23:49.100 At the same time
00:23:49.880 Because they were
00:23:50.320 So close to insurance
00:23:51.440 That everybody
00:23:52.340 Passed in a neck brace
00:23:53.520 Around that bitch
00:23:54.180 Like a joint
00:23:54.860 You know
00:23:55.520 Like a big smoking
00:23:57.120 Uh
00:23:58.100 You know
00:23:58.780 A big
00:23:59.820 Smoking horse leg
00:24:01.380 Full of that
00:24:01.900 Dank dank
00:24:02.660 And everybody
00:24:04.120 You know
00:24:04.760 Wearing that neck brace
00:24:05.740 And suing this
00:24:06.600 And getting that
00:24:07.240 And getting them checks
00:24:08.100 And cutting that money
00:24:08.980 And getting them checks
00:24:10.000 And what happened to me
00:24:11.840 Was
00:24:12.820 That I worked over there
00:24:14.920 And I worked in an office
00:24:15.900 With you know
00:24:16.380 Five or six or seven
00:24:17.320 Or eight ladies
00:24:17.800 And it was always
00:24:18.340 Somebody's birthday
00:24:19.120 You know
00:24:19.680 Oh it's Donna's party
00:24:21.180 You know
00:24:22.600 Or it's Donna
00:24:23.340 Or it's Margaret
00:24:24.180 You know
00:24:25.640 Or um
00:24:26.520 You know
00:24:27.960 Uh
00:24:28.480 You know
00:24:30.100 Um
00:24:30.480 You know
00:24:31.080 Sandra's husband
00:24:32.200 You know
00:24:33.640 Got electrocuted
00:24:35.020 Because he worked
00:24:36.020 With the electric company
00:24:36.980 And he also
00:24:37.660 Smoked a lot of weed
00:24:38.840 How about this
00:24:39.540 Sandra's husband
00:24:40.200 Don't fucking do those things
00:24:42.280 At the same time
00:24:43.100 That's
00:24:43.760 That is
00:24:44.720 Crazy bro
00:24:46.020 You gonna smoke weed
00:24:47.860 And then
00:24:48.660 Play with electricity
00:24:50.760 Oh
00:24:52.680 Fuck
00:24:54.220 No you're not
00:24:54.900 Guy
00:24:55.260 That's crazy
00:24:56.860 So anyhow
00:24:58.360 But I worked over there
00:24:59.280 That was a place
00:24:59.900 That I worked at
00:25:00.620 And so yeah
00:25:01.460 We had a lot of neat people
00:25:02.520 That came out
00:25:03.260 Man
00:25:03.620 You know
00:25:04.960 People drove in
00:25:05.900 They had a couple
00:25:06.480 That's moving to Houston
00:25:07.540 Together
00:25:08.440 They weren't gonna be able
00:25:09.160 To come see me in Chicago
00:25:10.180 They drove out
00:25:11.080 Some kids were on LSD
00:25:12.200 They came out
00:25:13.040 And kind of got scared
00:25:13.880 And they left
00:25:14.640 We had a couple
00:25:16.340 Senior citizens
00:25:17.260 One man said
00:25:18.360 He didn't think
00:25:18.720 He'd be alive
00:25:19.280 Next year
00:25:19.640 To see the show
00:25:20.300 So he wanted to
00:25:22.080 Come out this year
00:25:22.840 I was like
00:25:23.980 Damn bro
00:25:24.880 Uh
00:25:25.540 You know
00:25:27.820 I don't know
00:25:28.640 We don't offer
00:25:29.180 Like a discount
00:25:29.860 On ticket for that thing
00:25:30.920 You know
00:25:31.160 That death discount
00:25:32.200 That death discount
00:25:33.640 Like dude
00:25:34.720 You get 40% off
00:25:35.740 You think you're not
00:25:36.340 Gonna be alive
00:25:36.960 Next year
00:25:37.520 Mark down tickets
00:25:39.320 40% off
00:25:40.700 So that was interesting
00:25:43.780 But yeah
00:25:44.660 It was just good man
00:25:45.680 And then next thing
00:25:46.660 You know
00:25:46.840 I just get to be
00:25:47.640 You know
00:25:48.820 I stayed at this
00:25:50.460 Beautiful little place
00:25:51.680 Like it's usually
00:25:52.320 Like a huge rental hall
00:25:53.500 Or whatever
00:25:53.960 And got to stay out there
00:25:55.560 And just a lot of love
00:25:57.420 In the air man
00:25:58.360 Just a lot of love
00:25:59.560 Uh
00:26:00.060 Just being around
00:26:01.260 Family
00:26:01.680 And being around
00:26:02.360 Just people relaxing
00:26:04.020 And enjoying
00:26:04.740 People just looking
00:26:06.340 At each other
00:26:06.900 Eating potato salad
00:26:07.980 There's something
00:26:09.140 About watching somebody
00:26:10.360 And this one man
00:26:11.740 He got all kind
00:26:12.720 Of pea salad
00:26:13.520 And I call it
00:26:14.660 Pea salad for short
00:26:15.640 Instead of saying
00:26:16.280 Potato salad all the time
00:26:17.580 Because sometimes
00:26:18.380 I'm in a hurry
00:26:18.960 And he got that pea salad
00:26:21.000 Up in his
00:26:21.560 Up in his word curtain
00:26:23.740 You know
00:26:24.040 Up in his mustache
00:26:24.840 And he fell asleep
00:26:28.440 And dude
00:26:30.000 It's kind of
00:26:30.680 You know
00:26:31.740 I'm not a real
00:26:32.560 You know
00:26:33.020 I'm not a real
00:26:33.560 Pervert
00:26:34.180 You know
00:26:34.600 I've played one
00:26:35.820 And I'll do that
00:26:36.400 Kind of thing
00:26:36.880 But I've never
00:26:38.420 You know
00:26:39.760 I'm not
00:26:40.060 I don't have any plan
00:26:40.920 To be anything crazy
00:26:42.020 You know
00:26:43.320 But um
00:26:44.000 But it's hard to think
00:26:45.880 That somebody isn't
00:26:46.800 If you see a man
00:26:47.460 Fall asleep
00:26:47.960 And he's got that
00:26:48.580 Yellow mustard
00:26:49.360 In his stash
00:26:50.260 And he's just
00:26:51.520 Dozed off
00:26:52.440 With a plastic
00:26:53.740 Fork in his hand
00:26:54.760 I mean
00:26:56.620 I don't want to say
00:26:57.220 It's erotic
00:26:57.860 Because it's not
00:26:58.560 It's just really
00:26:59.440 I mean
00:27:00.580 That's the dark arts
00:27:01.580 You know
00:27:02.860 When you see a man
00:27:03.780 With a mustache
00:27:04.580 And he's been
00:27:06.380 Just having some
00:27:07.120 Pea salad
00:27:07.760 Some pea salad
00:27:08.720 And then he just
00:27:10.340 Dozes off
00:27:11.120 You know
00:27:11.360 Because he can't
00:27:11.940 Handle
00:27:12.360 You know
00:27:13.020 Maybe it's got
00:27:13.540 Too much egg in it
00:27:14.540 Or too much
00:27:15.180 You know
00:27:16.920 Maybe some other
00:27:18.240 Kind of shit
00:27:18.820 In it
00:27:19.080 I don't even know
00:27:19.580 What the fuck
00:27:19.920 Is MP salad
00:27:21.220 But
00:27:22.180 He can't handle
00:27:23.680 It all
00:27:23.960 So he dozes off
00:27:25.020 You know
00:27:25.240 His brain shuts down
00:27:26.380 You know
00:27:27.200 He closes down
00:27:27.880 Shop for a little bit
00:27:28.920 And shuts his eyes
00:27:30.000 And then you see
00:27:31.900 But in his mustache
00:27:32.780 He's still got
00:27:33.560 That yellow
00:27:34.180 That yellow
00:27:35.400 Thick
00:27:35.820 Thick
00:27:36.200 Just hanging out
00:27:37.340 Hanging out
00:27:38.000 Up in his word curtain
00:27:39.000 And he can't hang
00:27:39.940 And he can't live life
00:27:41.520 And
00:27:42.760 And that's
00:27:44.140 Honestly
00:27:44.540 That's probably a pervert
00:27:45.620 So
00:27:46.800 But yeah
00:27:47.660 I got to see
00:27:48.120 One of those this weekend
00:27:48.980 And that's fun
00:27:49.740 That's family
00:27:50.620 You know
00:27:51.580 That's family
00:27:52.240 But look
00:27:53.100 I'm going to keep this episode
00:27:54.060 We had some calls
00:27:54.880 That came in
00:27:55.300 I'm going to get to some of those
00:27:56.320 Because
00:27:56.640 My brain's a little
00:27:57.880 All over the place
00:27:58.700 And I'm
00:27:59.260 And
00:27:59.740 And
00:28:01.160 And I want to get it done
00:28:02.780 For you guys
00:28:03.460 I'm going to let you know
00:28:04.660 First and
00:28:05.600 Foremost
00:28:06.580 That
00:28:07.960 Next weekend
00:28:08.620 I'll be in Oxnard
00:28:09.520 California
00:28:10.200 Then I'm in
00:28:11.280 China
00:28:11.880 And China's a big
00:28:13.260 Huge country
00:28:14.080 And all kind of stuff
00:28:14.860 Happens over there
00:28:15.600 And I'm going to be
00:28:16.420 One of the things
00:28:17.040 That's happening over there
00:28:18.100 And some people say
00:28:19.360 China
00:28:19.900 Some people say
00:28:20.980 China
00:28:21.540 And China
00:28:22.520 Is nothing
00:28:23.540 That's not
00:28:24.200 It's not a real thing
00:28:24.980 So it's China
00:28:25.680 And I'll be over there
00:28:26.940 July 12th
00:28:27.640 Through the 14th
00:28:28.420 So if you have any friends
00:28:29.480 Over there
00:28:29.720 That live in Shanghai
00:28:30.840 Or
00:28:31.700 Chi Minh
00:28:32.920 Hit them up
00:28:34.200 Tell them
00:28:34.540 Hey
00:28:34.740 Go see my friend
00:28:35.680 Also coming up
00:28:36.960 I'll be in Raleigh
00:28:37.700 North Carolina
00:28:38.280 Minneapolis
00:28:38.780 Chicago
00:28:39.660 Nashville
00:28:40.320 Toronto
00:28:41.080 Appleton
00:28:41.680 Wisconsin
00:28:42.640 Buffalo
00:28:43.140 Salt Lake City
00:28:44.280 Washington D.C.
00:28:45.740 And many
00:28:46.320 Oh yeah
00:28:46.740 We already said Minneapolis
00:28:47.580 Minneapolis show
00:28:48.840 Is almost sold out
00:28:49.580 So we might be adding
00:28:50.240 A second show there
00:28:51.020 I don't know yet
00:28:51.820 But thank you guys
00:28:52.960 For coming out
00:28:53.680 You're putting a lot
00:28:54.860 Of pressure on me
00:28:55.620 To keep coming up
00:28:57.520 With new material
00:28:58.240 And stuff
00:28:58.720 But I'm grateful for it
00:29:00.720 You know
00:29:01.460 Because it makes me
00:29:02.200 Feel more challenged
00:29:03.140 And that makes me feel
00:29:06.440 You know
00:29:08.900 It makes me feel excited
00:29:09.780 You know
00:29:10.440 It's scary
00:29:11.000 It's scary to know
00:29:12.100 If my brain
00:29:12.680 Will have more ideas
00:29:14.500 You know
00:29:15.320 That's something
00:29:15.680 That scares me a lot
00:29:16.540 Thinking well
00:29:17.000 Am I going to run
00:29:17.500 Out of ideas
00:29:18.200 You know
00:29:19.220 Am I going to run
00:29:19.720 Out of
00:29:20.060 You know
00:29:21.040 Memories
00:29:21.660 Am I going to run
00:29:22.660 Out of memories
00:29:23.120 That are good
00:29:23.600 Memories that I can
00:29:24.400 Tell a story about
00:29:26.180 You know
00:29:27.640 It's alarming
00:29:28.040 I guess it's just
00:29:28.640 Like a painter
00:29:29.180 Thinking
00:29:29.520 Oh well
00:29:30.000 What if all the
00:29:31.760 Paint doesn't exist
00:29:33.180 Tomorrow
00:29:34.600 What if they dry up
00:29:35.540 Or they shut down
00:29:36.220 A couple colors
00:29:36.960 You know
00:29:37.760 What if fuchsia
00:29:38.580 Or magenta
00:29:39.260 Goes out of business
00:29:40.300 You know
00:29:41.460 What if
00:29:41.820 Roy Gbiv
00:29:42.580 Goes under
00:29:43.200 And then I'm
00:29:44.520 I'm just
00:29:44.680 Standing here
00:29:45.300 With nothing
00:29:46.480 With nothing
00:29:47.520 On my palate
00:29:48.260 So yeah
00:29:50.020 It's scary
00:29:51.160 But I guess
00:29:51.620 That's the excitement
00:29:52.360 Is a little bit
00:29:53.640 Of that fear
00:29:54.280 You know
00:29:54.560 Having one foot
00:29:55.280 Out in the fear
00:29:56.080 Instead of
00:29:57.880 Two feet
00:29:59.020 On the dock
00:29:59.640 You know
00:30:00.020 Because I'll say
00:30:02.260 This man
00:30:02.700 And I don't
00:30:03.460 Mean to go back
00:30:04.140 To this
00:30:04.380 It's a little bit
00:30:04.840 Perverse
00:30:05.400 But
00:30:05.740 You know
00:30:07.040 When that girl
00:30:07.880 Sprayed me out
00:30:08.660 Into that little pond
00:30:09.620 Or whatever it was
00:30:10.360 A part of a river
00:30:11.040 That's not moving
00:30:11.780 You know what I'm saying
00:30:12.460 At first I was like
00:30:14.780 Man this is
00:30:15.740 You know
00:30:16.980 This is kind of
00:30:17.860 It's kind of shady
00:30:20.940 But it's fucking cool
00:30:21.920 You know
00:30:22.560 And
00:30:24.180 And then
00:30:26.420 I was like
00:30:27.360 Then the fish
00:30:28.760 Came over
00:30:29.220 And I was like
00:30:29.620 Oh this is scary
00:30:30.940 This is scary
00:30:33.840 Because after that
00:30:36.320 I had dreams
00:30:37.040 That I had
00:30:37.380 Like there were fish
00:30:38.180 Out there
00:30:38.400 That had my face
00:30:39.160 And had the same
00:30:39.680 Kind of chin
00:30:40.360 And cheekbones as me
00:30:41.320 And all kinds of weird shit
00:30:42.380 But there was some
00:30:43.700 There was a moment in there
00:30:44.680 When it was scary
00:30:45.340 That that's when
00:30:45.880 It was exciting
00:30:46.520 You know
00:30:47.980 When I don't sit here
00:30:48.720 In the comfort
00:30:49.280 All the time
00:30:50.100 You know
00:30:51.580 When I get out into
00:30:52.440 And when I get out
00:30:53.740 And when I get out
00:30:54.940 Into exciting
00:30:55.620 When I take
00:30:56.200 When I take
00:30:57.440 When I keep some risk
00:30:59.000 You know
00:30:59.920 When I keep a little bit
00:31:00.580 Of risk in the tank
00:31:01.580 And I don't just put
00:31:02.740 Safe gas in there
00:31:03.760 I fucking
00:31:04.200 Put a match up
00:31:05.460 In the top right corner
00:31:06.480 Of the tank
00:31:07.020 And just say
00:31:07.540 Hey
00:31:07.860 Hey fates
00:31:09.500 Hey powers that be
00:31:10.740 Let's see how this
00:31:11.400 Breaks down
00:31:12.080 But you can find
00:31:13.540 All the tickets
00:31:14.040 For all those places
00:31:14.600 Salt Lake City
00:31:15.100 Washington D.C.
00:31:16.240 All those places
00:31:16.900 At theovahn.com
00:31:18.500 Slash tour
00:31:19.360 Okay we had a lot of calls
00:31:20.840 You can always hit the hotline
00:31:22.080 If you want to be associated
00:31:23.420 With the podcast
00:31:24.360 The number is
00:31:25.100 985-664-9503
00:31:29.200 Here you go
00:31:31.180 We had a call
00:31:32.000 That came in
00:31:32.600 You know
00:31:33.020 I'd like to know
00:31:33.440 Who is listening
00:31:34.120 To the pod
00:31:34.760 And usually
00:31:36.780 I won't get into calls
00:31:37.700 This week
00:31:38.060 I'll try and
00:31:38.600 You know
00:31:39.040 Go through
00:31:39.540 My own life
00:31:40.780 And my brain
00:31:41.420 A little bit more
00:31:42.460 But man
00:31:44.420 Honestly
00:31:44.700 This week
00:31:45.160 Has just been
00:31:45.900 It's been crazy
00:31:47.120 Dude I shot
00:31:48.340 I worked on
00:31:48.840 Some television set
00:31:49.880 This week
00:31:50.400 But they had
00:31:52.640 A part of it
00:31:53.660 Where
00:31:54.020 It's like a big
00:31:55.540 Huge house party
00:31:56.340 In the Hollywood Hills
00:31:57.240 And so next thing
00:31:58.240 You know
00:31:58.420 I'm there
00:31:58.720 I'm in the Hollywood Hills
00:31:59.680 And the guy
00:32:00.820 Whose house it was
00:32:02.120 This beautiful gentleman
00:32:03.120 And he was in the band
00:32:04.280 Called Extreme
00:32:04.960 And they had that song
00:32:06.720 More than words
00:32:08.720 And it was like
00:32:10.680 You know
00:32:11.180 It was the kind of song
00:32:11.940 You could
00:32:12.320 You know
00:32:13.340 You could really
00:32:13.760 Feel yourself to
00:32:14.820 Or you could see
00:32:15.400 Somebody else's body to it
00:32:17.160 But
00:32:17.760 But they had
00:32:19.840 And part of the scene
00:32:21.120 They have porno
00:32:21.900 Going on
00:32:22.440 People shooting
00:32:23.080 Doing sex
00:32:24.000 By the pool
00:32:24.600 And so next thing
00:32:25.880 You know
00:32:26.060 They really had that
00:32:27.080 In the scene
00:32:27.600 I thought it was
00:32:28.180 Going to be fake
00:32:28.720 Right
00:32:28.980 I'm involved
00:32:30.800 In the dialogue
00:32:31.440 I'm supposed to be
00:32:31.980 Doing with this
00:32:32.520 Other character
00:32:33.760 I look over
00:32:34.800 And they got people
00:32:36.040 Doing real porno
00:32:37.060 Like what
00:32:38.280 Y'all fucking
00:32:39.680 Outdoors man
00:32:40.920 This is some real
00:32:42.240 Native American style
00:32:43.480 This pilgrims
00:32:44.300 You know
00:32:44.880 That's real pilgrims
00:32:47.800 I just had a sip of coffee
00:32:48.760 But I'd like to know
00:32:49.900 Who's listening to the podcast
00:32:50.840 And so
00:32:51.440 We got this call
00:32:52.560 Let's go
00:32:53.620 Hey Camel
00:32:54.700 C.O. Vaughn
00:32:56.480 I gotta just tell you
00:32:57.520 Something man
00:32:58.240 I'm listening to this podcast
00:32:59.880 And I just love
00:33:01.100 What you are doing so much
00:33:02.400 I am a board certified
00:33:04.100 Neuropsychologist
00:33:05.380 I am a graduate
00:33:07.260 Of Harvard Medical School
00:33:08.740 So I want to let you know
00:33:09.780 These smart bitches
00:33:10.820 Out here
00:33:11.280 Be listening
00:33:11.960 Dang
00:33:12.800 These SBs
00:33:13.860 Out there
00:33:14.400 Camel
00:33:15.040 See I just want to tell you
00:33:16.960 That every time I hear you
00:33:18.720 Talk about the dark art
00:33:20.060 Which is funny as shit
00:33:21.540 I'm not gonna lie
00:33:22.380 It's funny until you
00:33:23.600 Just lay it in your house
00:33:24.800 You know
00:33:25.920 And you done spray it out
00:33:27.120 All on your knuckles
00:33:27.940 And you got nothing
00:33:28.600 Left in your heart
00:33:29.400 But I feel you though
00:33:30.740 Onward
00:33:31.160 I want to let you know
00:33:32.980 That what you are also doing
00:33:34.420 And offering to people
00:33:35.500 Is truly the healing arts
00:33:38.020 Even though my specialty
00:33:39.340 Is dementia
00:33:40.040 And helping people
00:33:40.860 With brain injuries
00:33:41.700 I do a lot of therapy
00:33:43.520 And just try to connect
00:33:44.560 With people about trauma
00:33:45.720 And heartbreak
00:33:46.460 And the way that you talk
00:33:48.180 To people
00:33:49.180 And the way that you
00:33:50.180 Accept people
00:33:51.220 And the love
00:33:52.240 That you show to people
00:33:53.520 I needed to reach out
00:33:55.480 And tell you
00:33:56.080 That what you do
00:33:56.920 Is so unbelievably needed
00:33:59.080 And so therapeutic
00:34:00.760 And you do it
00:34:01.800 So so so well
00:34:03.640 If you were not
00:34:04.560 A natural born comedian
00:34:06.220 And hilarious as shit
00:34:08.020 As you are
00:34:08.720 I would absolutely
00:34:10.340 Encourage you
00:34:11.040 To go into social work
00:34:12.220 Well I didn't mean
00:34:13.940 To cut you off there
00:34:14.720 But I appreciate
00:34:15.900 The nice words
00:34:17.640 Yeah it's hard for me
00:34:19.440 To hear sometimes
00:34:20.280 People say
00:34:21.080 Nice stuff about me
00:34:22.580 But I really do appreciate
00:34:25.360 It's very sweet of you
00:34:26.120 And you know
00:34:27.080 Now I feel bad
00:34:27.720 About cutting you off
00:34:28.360 Because I wouldn't
00:34:28.860 I'm not really trying
00:34:29.680 To cut you off here
00:34:30.300 Psychology
00:34:31.120 Because you are
00:34:32.600 A natural
00:34:33.560 What you do
00:34:34.900 For people
00:34:35.460 Is not just
00:34:36.220 Make us laugh
00:34:37.240 Man
00:34:37.580 What you do
00:34:38.340 Is you provide
00:34:39.280 People with a space
00:34:40.380 Of love
00:34:41.320 And acceptance
00:34:42.120 And self reflection
00:34:43.440 And support
00:34:44.860 And I think
00:34:45.540 That so many people
00:34:46.440 Out there
00:34:46.900 Can't hear that message
00:34:48.260 Unless it comes
00:34:49.080 From someone
00:34:49.640 Who's genuine
00:34:50.480 And
00:34:51.360 Well
00:34:52.580 Well I appreciate it
00:34:54.200 You know
00:34:54.980 You know
00:34:58.620 That's nice
00:34:59.140 You to say
00:34:59.700 You know
00:35:00.060 I feel bad
00:35:00.940 Like kind of
00:35:01.520 You know
00:35:03.700 When you say
00:35:04.120 Nice stuff about me
00:35:05.080 It makes me feel
00:35:06.160 Let me think about
00:35:09.660 What it makes you feel
00:35:10.280 Man you got me
00:35:10.840 Feeling emotional now
00:35:12.100 But that's okay
00:35:13.620 I like
00:35:14.080 You know
00:35:15.140 I like having
00:35:15.620 Some emotions
00:35:16.300 You know
00:35:17.200 For so long
00:35:17.720 In my life
00:35:18.080 I didn't have any
00:35:18.680 I didn't
00:35:19.320 I had emotions
00:35:20.100 But it was just
00:35:20.580 Anger
00:35:21.080 And
00:35:22.180 Fear
00:35:23.160 And
00:35:24.960 And probably
00:35:28.220 Just like
00:35:29.100 Feeling like
00:35:29.660 Not worth
00:35:30.360 You know
00:35:31.440 Feeling not worth
00:35:32.460 You know
00:35:35.340 Probably
00:35:35.640 Damn
00:35:36.000 You got me
00:35:36.420 Leaking now
00:35:37.220 Probably feeling
00:35:37.980 Not worth
00:35:38.620 Not worth love
00:35:41.120 You know
00:35:41.720 And I didn't
00:35:42.700 Know at the time
00:35:43.300 I didn't know
00:35:43.740 That's what it was
00:35:44.360 I just felt
00:35:45.160 I just felt
00:35:47.980 Angry
00:35:48.360 You know
00:35:49.100 And I just
00:35:49.600 I felt funny
00:35:51.320 And I felt
00:35:52.300 You know
00:35:53.980 I felt
00:35:54.500 I felt
00:35:57.160 I felt
00:35:57.180 I felt
00:35:57.900 I didn't not feel alive
00:35:59.160 I didn't feel comatose
00:36:00.580 Or anything like that
00:36:01.120 I just
00:36:01.540 I felt
00:36:02.720 I guess
00:36:04.320 I felt unloved
00:36:05.340 You know
00:36:05.740 Even though
00:36:06.100 I didn't realize it
00:36:07.180 And I've never
00:36:11.620 Really accepted compliments
00:36:12.960 Very well
00:36:13.680 I don't think
00:36:14.800 But I think
00:36:15.320 That's sweet of you
00:36:15.880 To say
00:36:16.320 And I
00:36:17.580 You know
00:36:18.300 I feel like
00:36:19.140 I mean
00:36:20.360 It's crazy to me
00:36:21.040 Because look
00:36:21.500 If you'd asked me
00:36:22.500 Five years ago
00:36:23.400 If I
00:36:24.440 You know
00:36:24.940 I don't know
00:36:27.260 If I would have had
00:36:27.800 A lot of the same
00:36:28.560 Feelings inside of me
00:36:30.000 I think a lot of it
00:36:31.080 For me has come from
00:36:32.060 And I go back
00:36:33.420 On this stuff
00:36:34.000 Sometimes
00:36:34.360 About getting in
00:36:35.100 Like a 12 step program
00:36:36.300 And stuff like that
00:36:37.200 Because I couldn't
00:36:38.900 See that
00:36:39.640 There was so much
00:36:40.640 More in the world
00:36:42.280 That I was missing
00:36:43.080 Emotionally
00:36:43.820 Before
00:36:44.660 I just
00:36:46.840 I felt
00:36:47.740 People would always say
00:36:48.900 I feel like I can't
00:36:49.720 Get to know you
00:36:50.560 I'm like
00:36:51.440 Really
00:36:51.800 And this would be
00:36:52.620 Girlfriends
00:36:53.200 And everything
00:36:53.720 You know
00:36:55.120 And even dudes
00:36:56.440 That were jerking off
00:36:57.200 Outside of my window
00:36:58.020 You know
00:36:58.920 I'm joking about that part
00:37:01.780 But this would be
00:37:03.280 Girl
00:37:03.560 They'd be like
00:37:04.080 Yeah
00:37:04.260 I just feel like
00:37:04.820 I'm like
00:37:05.720 Really to me
00:37:06.540 Everything seems
00:37:07.320 I tell you everything
00:37:08.460 It seemed like
00:37:09.500 We know each other
00:37:10.300 But there was
00:37:11.800 This other level
00:37:12.440 Where it was hard
00:37:13.200 To get to
00:37:13.600 And I find
00:37:15.260 Still though
00:37:15.920 That the
00:37:16.320 You know
00:37:16.860 If I don't stay
00:37:17.860 On top of
00:37:18.400 What's going on
00:37:18.920 With me
00:37:19.380 And stay in touch
00:37:20.400 With myself
00:37:20.980 And
00:37:22.060 And try and stay
00:37:23.760 In touch with
00:37:24.100 Other people
00:37:24.560 That
00:37:24.900 That part of me
00:37:26.100 Creeps back
00:37:26.780 Really fast
00:37:27.580 That's disconnected
00:37:28.380 And that's very
00:37:29.860 Scary to me
00:37:30.500 And that's one of
00:37:30.900 The biggest fears
00:37:31.380 In my life right now
00:37:32.180 Is
00:37:32.400 Is getting
00:37:33.700 Is becoming
00:37:34.420 Disconnected
00:37:35.600 Because I
00:37:37.660 Flirt and work
00:37:39.340 In this
00:37:39.620 Disconnected world
00:37:40.640 In Hollywood
00:37:42.440 But
00:37:43.340 You know
00:37:44.160 I just try
00:37:44.760 And stay close
00:37:45.460 To people
00:37:45.820 That I care about
00:37:46.640 And
00:37:47.620 And not be afraid
00:37:48.980 To care about them
00:37:49.800 If I can
00:37:50.340 And also
00:37:52.420 Look
00:37:52.600 I'm learning
00:37:52.980 As I go
00:37:53.700 So
00:37:54.340 But I'm happy
00:37:55.080 To know
00:37:55.300 They got some
00:37:55.920 Real legit bitches
00:37:56.860 Out there
00:37:57.500 From Harvard
00:37:58.620 Medical
00:37:59.000 Center
00:38:01.020 Who were
00:38:03.260 Who were
00:38:04.060 Psychologists
00:38:04.740 Or psychotherapists
00:38:05.940 You know
00:38:07.180 What's funny
00:38:07.540 Is I was just
00:38:08.000 Thinking this week
00:38:08.700 Actually
00:38:08.980 I wish
00:38:09.360 I could go
00:38:10.720 Back to school
00:38:11.360 If I had more
00:38:11.860 Time to go
00:38:12.400 Back to school
00:38:13.000 And
00:38:13.700 And try to learn
00:38:16.200 How to
00:38:16.740 Just be like
00:38:18.540 A more effective
00:38:19.340 Listener
00:38:20.440 That's what I'd
00:38:21.560 Like to be
00:38:22.100 Like I wish
00:38:23.380 Like when I was
00:38:23.860 Listening to somebody
00:38:24.720 If they
00:38:25.180 If I knew
00:38:25.760 That they weren't
00:38:26.260 Feeling good
00:38:26.940 That I could
00:38:28.120 Ask them a question
00:38:29.040 Or
00:38:29.540 Or
00:38:30.740 Make a
00:38:31.460 You know
00:38:31.880 A suggestion
00:38:32.620 That
00:38:33.140 Would help
00:38:34.620 Them
00:38:35.120 You know
00:38:39.460 Would help
00:38:39.740 Them feel
00:38:40.140 Better
00:38:40.460 So
00:38:42.060 I don't know
00:38:42.620 Bro
00:38:42.860 I don't mean
00:38:43.380 To get off
00:38:43.820 On all this
00:38:44.140 Shit
00:38:44.280 You got me
00:38:44.660 Off on all
00:38:45.080 This stuff
00:38:45.520 But thanks
00:38:46.060 For calling
00:38:46.420 Thanks for
00:38:46.800 Calling
00:38:47.140 And
00:38:48.240 You know
00:38:49.760 I'm just
00:38:50.460 Out here
00:38:50.780 I'm just
00:38:51.020 One of these
00:38:51.380 People
00:38:51.760 But
00:38:52.320 But I'm
00:38:54.060 Happy to be
00:38:54.620 Here
00:38:54.920 And I'm
00:38:55.600 Happy to be
00:38:56.040 Here with
00:38:56.320 You
00:38:56.560 You know
00:38:57.960 Today
00:38:58.460 And I'm
00:38:59.000 Happy for
00:38:59.340 All of
00:38:59.600 This past
00:39:00.040 Week
00:39:00.220 And listeners
00:39:00.520 That came
00:39:00.840 Out to
00:39:01.080 This weekend
00:39:01.560 Man
00:39:01.800 It's
00:39:01.920 Crazy
00:39:02.360 We got
00:39:04.640 To find
00:39:04.900 Some way
00:39:05.220 To do
00:39:05.480 Something
00:39:05.720 More
00:39:06.100 On weekend
00:39:07.240 Shows
00:39:07.620 Where we
00:39:07.860 Could do
00:39:08.140 Something
00:39:08.340 Together
00:39:08.760 And I'll
00:39:09.420 Start to
00:39:09.700 Brainstorm
00:39:10.120 What that
00:39:10.400 Could be
00:39:10.720 Maybe
00:39:10.980 We got
00:39:11.880 Another caller
00:39:12.380 Here we
00:39:12.660 Go
00:39:12.920 Damn
00:39:21.160 Nomadic
00:39:21.660 Nomadic
00:39:21.680 Beastly
00:39:22.260 On Instagram
00:39:22.860 I'm guessing
00:39:23.440 And then
00:39:23.860 Handsome
00:39:25.160 Julius
00:39:25.660 Out the
00:39:26.060 Bronx
00:39:26.720 Boy
00:39:27.220 Handsome
00:39:28.140 Julius
00:39:28.780 Come on
00:39:29.840 I just
00:39:30.140 Called
00:39:30.380 To let
00:39:30.760 You know
00:39:31.140 I'm
00:39:32.260 An urban
00:39:32.760 Guy
00:39:33.200 I'm
00:39:33.560 From the
00:39:34.100 Inner
00:39:34.660 City
00:39:35.000 Of the
00:39:36.100 Bad
00:39:36.340 Burroughs
00:39:36.860 And like
00:39:37.400 Your name
00:39:38.940 Probably
00:39:39.240 Isn't said
00:39:39.660 That often
00:39:40.160 In the
00:39:40.420 Bronx
00:39:40.720 That's
00:39:42.480 Probably
00:39:42.760 True
00:39:43.080 Man
00:39:43.400 You know
00:39:43.940 I have
00:39:44.240 Sometimes
00:39:44.700 You know
00:39:45.280 Sometimes
00:39:45.760 Julius
00:39:46.120 I wish
00:39:46.620 That I
00:39:46.840 Could live
00:39:47.160 Like more
00:39:47.560 Than one
00:39:47.940 Life
00:39:48.340 You know
00:39:49.500 And
00:39:49.740 And maybe
00:39:51.140 I will
00:39:51.600 Maybe
00:39:51.860 We all
00:39:52.300 Will
00:39:52.540 You know
00:39:52.880 If our
00:39:53.300 You know
00:39:53.940 Our higher
00:39:54.360 Power
00:39:54.640 Wants that
00:39:55.240 For us
00:39:55.740 Or if
00:39:56.440 We handled
00:39:56.880 This life
00:39:57.340 Okay enough
00:39:58.080 Or if
00:39:58.340 It was
00:39:58.560 Comfortable
00:39:59.000 Enough
00:39:59.340 On us
00:39:59.860 And it
00:40:00.500 Wasn't
00:40:00.780 Too
00:40:01.140 Painful
00:40:01.980 Then maybe
00:40:02.380 We'll get
00:40:02.780 To come
00:40:03.080 Back and
00:40:03.520 Do it
00:40:04.140 Again
00:40:04.380 In some
00:40:04.680 Facet
00:40:05.120 But
00:40:05.440 But
00:40:07.480 But
00:40:08.800 Sometimes
00:40:09.060 I think
00:40:09.400 About what
00:40:09.720 It would be
00:40:09.960 Like to
00:40:10.260 Grow up
00:40:10.640 On
00:40:10.820 In New
00:40:11.360 York
00:40:11.780 You know
00:40:12.520 Out in
00:40:12.780 The
00:40:12.960 Bronx
00:40:13.400 Baby
00:40:13.780 That
00:40:14.280 Fat
00:40:14.660 Joe
00:40:14.940 Country
00:40:15.440 You know
00:40:16.080 Out there
00:40:16.600 Rose
00:40:17.040 Hill
00:40:17.340 You know
00:40:18.300 Out there
00:40:19.740 Just like
00:40:23.320 Walking around
00:40:24.320 In the
00:40:24.740 Sunshine
00:40:25.240 And like
00:40:26.340 Just everything
00:40:27.460 You know
00:40:27.880 They got a
00:40:28.560 Dead pigeon
00:40:29.220 Over there
00:40:29.840 And they got
00:40:30.280 People playing
00:40:31.020 You know
00:40:31.780 Handball
00:40:32.680 Against the
00:40:33.200 Walls
00:40:33.780 And they got
00:40:34.100 Dominicans
00:40:34.820 And they got
00:40:35.560 You know
00:40:36.140 Puerto Rican
00:40:36.860 People
00:40:37.380 And they got
00:40:38.040 Fucking somebody
00:40:39.360 You know
00:40:40.040 Throwing all
00:40:40.720 Their spouse's
00:40:41.800 Clothes out
00:40:42.420 The second
00:40:42.860 Story window
00:40:43.880 And
00:40:44.940 And they got
00:40:46.200 Some grandmother
00:40:47.100 Just pinching
00:40:47.840 Her kids
00:40:48.300 Italian cheek
00:40:49.500 And they got
00:40:50.760 You know
00:40:52.020 They got
00:40:52.720 Just
00:40:54.720 Just life
00:40:56.020 They just have
00:40:57.560 So much life
00:40:58.380 Going on
00:40:59.140 And it's
00:41:01.040 Faster there
00:41:02.000 You know
00:41:02.600 But New York
00:41:03.700 Has a
00:41:04.080 New York
00:41:05.640 Has an amazing
00:41:06.240 Ability where
00:41:06.840 They have a
00:41:07.300 Little bit of
00:41:07.620 This
00:41:07.840 It's almost
00:41:08.540 Like you get
00:41:09.020 A small town
00:41:09.820 In a moment
00:41:10.900 There
00:41:11.280 New York
00:41:12.020 There's so much
00:41:12.700 Going on
00:41:13.080 You get a
00:41:13.460 Small town
00:41:13.920 In a moment
00:41:14.560 Like you can
00:41:16.220 Get a
00:41:16.540 You can get
00:41:16.920 A million years
00:41:17.760 Of small town
00:41:18.440 Life almost
00:41:18.960 Sometimes in
00:41:19.480 A moment
00:41:19.980 In New York
00:41:20.660 Just turning
00:41:21.580 A corner
00:41:22.000 And opening
00:41:22.400 Your eyes
00:41:22.920 And it's
00:41:23.260 Just
00:41:23.420 Everything
00:41:23.780 Is so fast
00:41:24.720 But thank you
00:41:27.160 For calling
00:41:27.520 Julius
00:41:27.900 Onward brother
00:41:28.680 But I'm
00:41:29.500 Watching
00:41:29.860 And I'm
00:41:30.640 Listening
00:41:31.360 On the train
00:41:32.080 On my way
00:41:32.480 To work
00:41:32.760 Every day
00:41:33.220 I'm an electrician
00:41:34.360 By the way
00:41:34.780 Oh hell
00:41:36.040 Hell yeah
00:41:36.360 Dude
00:41:36.720 Electrician
00:41:37.400 I was just
00:41:37.740 Talking about
00:41:38.300 Electrician
00:41:38.980 If somebody's
00:41:40.300 Electrician
00:41:41.040 Man
00:41:41.400 That's
00:41:41.860 And they
00:41:42.900 Smoking weed
00:41:43.540 At the same
00:41:44.060 Time
00:41:44.540 Boy
00:41:44.900 Come on
00:41:46.080 I mean
00:41:47.840 That's
00:41:48.460 I mean
00:41:50.420 That's
00:41:50.700 The new
00:41:51.340 I mean
00:41:53.140 You're basically
00:41:53.760 You're a damn
00:41:54.220 Science fair
00:41:54.860 Project
00:41:55.320 If that's
00:41:55.760 What you're
00:41:56.060 Doing
00:41:56.260 Man
00:41:56.580 Come on
00:41:57.180 And
00:41:57.840 Although it's
00:41:59.300 Based in
00:41:59.920 Humor
00:42:00.280 And based
00:42:01.300 In like
00:42:01.700 You know
00:42:02.020 Dry humor
00:42:03.140 Sarcasm
00:42:04.460 But
00:42:05.380 Shit is
00:42:06.320 Good bro
00:42:06.780 I appreciate
00:42:07.620 All the
00:42:08.160 Positive words
00:42:09.340 That are
00:42:09.720 Max
00:42:10.060 Inside the
00:42:10.660 Jokes
00:42:10.980 Well thanks
00:42:12.540 Julius
00:42:13.200 It's nice
00:42:13.740 It's nice
00:42:14.100 You to say
00:42:14.480 Man
00:42:14.700 Nice
00:42:14.880 You to
00:42:15.080 Think about
00:42:15.440 That
00:42:15.780 You know
00:42:16.880 But yeah
00:42:18.680 Man
00:42:18.920 Just know
00:42:19.420 That you're
00:42:19.740 Living a
00:42:20.080 Life
00:42:20.300 That a lot
00:42:20.740 Of people
00:42:21.040 Dream about
00:42:21.780 You know
00:42:22.140 That alternate
00:42:22.680 Life
00:42:23.020 Just kind
00:42:23.800 Of mobbing
00:42:24.380 Around New
00:42:24.880 York
00:42:25.080 With your
00:42:25.400 Eyes open
00:42:26.040 You know
00:42:27.200 Just feeling
00:42:27.740 All the
00:42:28.100 You know
00:42:28.660 Beautiful
00:42:29.060 Women
00:42:29.420 Goes by
00:42:30.140 And
00:42:30.360 Somebody
00:42:31.040 Too
00:42:31.360 Fucking
00:42:31.760 Deviant
00:42:33.300 Vagrants
00:42:33.920 Or whatever
00:42:34.300 Fucking
00:42:34.720 Beating
00:42:35.140 Each other
00:42:35.540 With
00:42:35.760 Prosthetic
00:42:36.740 Limbs
00:42:37.180 Across
00:42:37.480 The
00:42:37.720 Street
00:42:38.000 And
00:42:38.200 You
00:42:38.300 Got
00:42:38.520 You know
00:42:39.280 You know
00:42:41.280 Somebody
00:42:41.660 Shooting
00:42:42.060 Bullets
00:42:42.520 In the
00:42:42.740 Air
00:42:42.860 Trying
00:42:43.080 To
00:42:43.200 Catch
00:42:43.500 Them
00:42:43.640 In
00:42:43.740 His
00:42:43.900 Mouth
00:42:44.320 And
00:42:44.520 You
00:42:44.620 Got
00:42:44.780 Everything
00:42:45.320 You know
00:42:46.860 I was
00:42:47.020 In New
00:42:47.220 York
00:42:47.360 One
00:42:47.560 Time
00:42:47.760 Somebody
00:42:48.060 Jumped
00:42:49.640 Off a
00:42:49.920 Building
00:42:50.140 And
00:42:50.300 Killed
00:42:50.500 Themselves
00:42:51.020 Or
00:42:51.180 Whatever
00:42:51.460 And
00:42:51.760 The
00:42:52.480 Crowd
00:42:52.740 Starting
00:42:53.060 To
00:42:53.220 Disperse
00:42:53.820 You know
00:42:54.140 And
00:42:54.300 Then
00:42:54.460 Some
00:42:54.700 Lady
00:42:54.940 Walks
00:42:55.300 Up
00:42:55.480 And
00:42:55.580 She
00:42:55.680 Goes
00:42:55.840 Did
00:42:56.040 You
00:42:56.140 See
00:42:56.400 It
00:42:56.560 And
00:42:56.660 I'm
00:42:56.760 Like
00:42:56.880 What
00:42:57.120 Was
00:42:57.420 It
00:42:57.520 I'm
00:42:57.660 Thinking
00:42:57.800 About
00:42:57.960 The
00:42:58.100 Body
00:42:58.460 Or
00:42:58.620 Something
00:42:58.920 You know
00:42:59.260 Maybe
00:42:59.460 This
00:43:09.280 I said
00:43:09.780 What
00:43:10.160 And
00:43:10.560 She
00:43:10.660 Pulled
00:43:11.100 Her
00:43:11.200 Dress
00:43:11.500 Up
00:43:11.720 And
00:43:11.820 Showed
00:43:12.060 Me
00:43:12.140 That
00:43:12.300 Big
00:43:12.600 That
00:43:13.700 Big
00:43:13.920 Coochie
00:43:14.460 Bruh
00:43:14.900 You
00:43:15.120 Feel
00:43:15.400 Me
00:43:15.640 Showed
00:43:16.520 Me
00:43:16.620 That
00:43:16.780 Big
00:43:17.100 Fucking
00:43:17.480 Tiger's
00:43:18.160 Mouth
00:43:18.460 She
00:43:18.680 Had
00:43:18.920 Down
00:43:19.180 There
00:43:19.400 Boy
00:43:19.740 That
00:43:20.760 Big
00:43:21.000 Side
00:43:21.340 You know
00:43:21.700 That
00:43:21.900 Big
00:43:22.180 Fucking
00:43:22.520 You know
00:43:23.800 Looked
00:43:24.020 Like
00:43:24.120 About
00:43:24.320 Three
00:43:24.560 Or
00:43:24.700 Four
00:43:24.940 Salamanders
00:43:26.060 Sleeping
00:43:26.500 Next
00:43:26.860 To
00:43:27.000 Each
00:43:27.200 Other
00:43:27.400 And
00:43:27.560 One
00:43:27.720 Of
00:43:27.860 Them
00:43:28.000 You know
00:43:29.740 One
00:43:29.960 Of
00:43:30.080 Them
00:43:30.180 Had
00:43:30.400 The
00:43:30.540 Gout
00:43:30.900 But
00:43:32.220 Yeah
00:43:32.500 Crazy
00:43:32.980 Man
00:43:33.440 And
00:43:39.280 Kind
00:43:39.440 Of
00:43:39.520 Like
00:43:39.620 A
00:43:39.760 Tougher
00:43:40.000 Guy
00:43:40.340 And
00:43:40.500 Maybe
00:43:40.760 You know
00:43:43.240 I
00:43:43.560 Think
00:43:43.760 Tougher
00:43:44.660 Guys
00:43:44.920 Always
00:43:45.140 Kind
00:43:45.300 Of
00:43:45.380 Made
00:43:45.500 Me
00:43:45.580 A
00:43:45.700 Little
00:43:45.780 Bit
00:43:45.900 Nervous
00:43:46.340 Sometimes
00:43:46.720 When
00:43:46.880 I
00:43:46.940 Was
00:43:47.080 Young
00:43:47.360 But
00:43:47.760 Here
00:43:48.360 You
00:43:48.540 And
00:43:48.680 I
00:43:48.860 Are
00:43:49.180 Communicating
00:43:50.800 So
00:43:51.720 That's
00:43:51.980 Cool
00:43:52.200 Man
00:43:52.480 It's
00:43:52.620 Pretty
00:43:52.760 Cool
00:43:53.100 You know
00:43:53.600 We
00:43:55.120 Got
00:43:55.260 Some
00:43:55.400 Follow
00:43:55.660 Ups
00:43:55.840 From
00:43:55.980 Last
00:43:56.260 Week's
00:43:56.520 Calls
00:43:56.980 And
00:43:57.120 I
00:43:57.220 Know
00:43:57.360 I'm
00:43:57.460 Not
00:43:57.600 Getting
00:43:57.780 Too
00:43:57.980 Deep
00:43:58.160 This
00:43:58.360 Week
00:43:58.600 In
00:43:58.740 Stuff
00:43:59.280 But
00:43:59.860 But
00:44:01.260 But
00:44:02.140 But
00:44:02.680 Those
00:44:02.840 Are
00:44:02.960 Some
00:44:03.100 People
00:44:03.300 That
00:44:03.460 Listen
00:44:03.720 We
00:44:03.880 Got
00:44:04.000 An
00:44:04.100 Electrician
00:44:04.660 We
00:44:05.100 Got
00:44:05.220 A
00:44:05.340 Bad
00:44:05.600 Bitch
00:44:05.800 Out
00:44:05.960 Of
00:44:06.100 Harvard
00:44:06.620 Dental
00:44:07.060 Or
00:44:07.600 Whatever
00:44:07.880 You
00:44:08.140 Know
00:44:08.320 Medical
00:44:08.740 Dental
00:44:09.220 Fucking
00:44:09.660 Brain
00:44:10.460 Whatever
00:44:10.980 I
00:44:11.460 Need
00:44:11.600 A
00:44:11.760 Molar
00:44:12.080 In
00:44:12.240 My
00:44:12.400 Cerebellum
00:44:13.120 Baby
00:44:13.380 Girl
00:44:13.680 You
00:44:13.860 Feel
00:44:14.100 Me
00:44:14.320 I
00:44:15.280 Need
00:44:15.440 A
00:44:15.600 Mental
00:44:16.460 Floss
00:44:17.140 But
00:44:18.120 We
00:44:19.140 Also
00:44:19.480 Have
00:44:19.960 Some
00:44:21.520 Follow
00:44:21.880 Ups
00:44:22.140 From
00:44:22.300 Last
00:44:22.560 Week
00:44:22.740 And
00:44:22.820 I
00:44:22.900 Want
00:44:23.000 To
00:44:23.060 Get
00:44:23.180 To
00:44:23.280 Those
00:44:23.460 Because
00:44:23.620 Those
00:44:23.820 Are
00:44:23.940 Important
00:44:24.400 Because
00:44:25.540 It's
00:44:26.000 You
00:44:26.300 Guys
00:44:26.540 Getting
00:44:26.740 To
00:44:32.960 Yep
00:44:42.740 This
00:44:42.920 Is
00:44:43.060 Daniel
00:44:43.380 From
00:44:43.640 Maui
00:44:44.200 And
00:44:44.560 Maui
00:44:45.020 Boy
00:44:45.260 Y'all
00:44:45.480 Out
00:44:45.700 There
00:44:45.880 Floating
00:44:46.460 Out
00:44:46.660 There
00:44:46.840 In
00:44:46.940 The
00:44:47.040 Middle
00:44:47.180 Of
00:44:47.340 Nowhere
00:44:47.740 Eating
00:44:48.040 Pineapples
00:44:48.720 Dude
00:44:49.040 And
00:44:49.680 Fucking
00:44:49.980 Catching
00:44:50.460 Salmon
00:44:50.880 In
00:44:51.000 Your
00:44:51.140 Jaw
00:44:51.480 And
00:44:53.140 Also
00:44:53.400 You
00:44:53.680 Just
00:44:53.920 Said
00:44:54.240 That
00:44:54.700 This
00:44:55.280 Oh
00:44:55.820 Yeah
00:44:56.020 We
00:44:56.260 Had
00:44:56.360 A
00:44:56.460 Call
00:44:56.640 Last
00:44:56.960 Week
00:44:57.240 And
00:44:58.240 A
00:44:58.400 Boy
00:44:58.640 Said
00:44:59.060 He
00:45:00.420 Said
00:45:00.800 That
00:45:01.020 He
00:45:01.600 Got
00:45:01.780 Propositioned
00:45:02.480 By
00:45:02.620 A
00:45:02.800 Woman
00:45:03.080 To
00:45:03.520 Marry
00:45:03.880 Him
00:45:04.220 And
00:45:04.960 This
00:45:05.100 Is
00:45:05.180 Kind
00:45:05.320 Of
00:45:05.400 An
00:45:05.500 Older
00:45:05.800 Lady
00:45:06.100 And
00:45:07.000 He's
00:45:07.360 Considering
00:45:07.800 It
00:45:08.080 So
00:45:08.460 Here's
00:45:09.260 A
00:45:09.360 Suggestion
00:45:09.840 From
00:45:10.060 Daniel
00:45:10.480 Yeah
00:45:12.660 Don't
00:45:13.100 Do
00:45:13.280 It
00:45:13.420 Man
00:45:13.640 It's
00:45:14.180 Not
00:45:14.340 Worth
00:45:14.580 It
00:45:14.760 My
00:45:15.360 My
00:45:16.000 Kid's
00:45:16.440 Mom
00:45:16.760 Got
00:45:18.600 On
00:45:18.780 That
00:45:18.980 Fucking
00:45:19.300 Met
00:45:19.700 And
00:45:21.120 Married
00:45:22.740 Her
00:45:23.000 Friend
00:45:23.560 Her
00:45:24.060 Friend
00:45:24.320 Paid
00:45:24.640 Her
00:45:24.940 I
00:45:25.260 Don't
00:45:25.360 Know
00:45:25.540 Like
00:45:25.740 20
00:45:26.040 Grand
00:45:26.360 Or
00:45:26.500 Something
00:45:26.760 To
00:45:26.980 Marry
00:45:27.240 Her
00:45:27.440 She
00:45:27.600 Was
00:45:27.820 Yugoslavian
00:45:30.740 Or
00:45:30.920 Some
00:45:31.160 Shit
00:45:31.380 Like
00:45:31.600 That
00:45:31.940 Well
00:45:32.980 Yugoslavian
00:45:33.620 Is
00:45:33.700 Just
00:45:33.820 A
00:45:33.980 Regular
00:45:34.260 Place
00:45:34.640 But
00:45:34.820 Yeah
00:45:34.980 I
00:45:35.240 Know
00:45:35.340 What
00:45:35.460 You're
00:45:35.560 Saying
00:45:35.740 Something
00:45:36.020 Wild
00:45:36.480 Out
00:45:36.720 There
00:45:37.000 You
00:45:37.280 Know
00:45:37.360 I'm
00:45:37.500 Saying
00:45:37.760 Like
00:45:38.220 Russia
00:45:38.720 But
00:45:39.180 Maybe
00:45:39.580 In
00:45:39.780 The
00:45:39.900 Mountains
00:45:40.240 Or
00:45:40.460 Something
00:45:40.740 Onward
00:45:41.320 Do
00:45:42.360 From
00:45:42.580 Do
00:45:55.740 Do
00:45:57.420 Do not pass go.
00:45:58.340 Do not collect $200.
00:46:00.220 So look, yeah, you could be damaging your future.
00:46:02.460 Look, these offers come along a lot, I think, in life in America where somebody's like, hey, marry this person for 20G.
00:46:09.160 They can live in the country or whatever.
00:46:10.760 And I had an opportunity, you know, in the past.
00:46:12.980 I got offered a couple of cleaning ladies that families were trying to keep in the U.S.
00:46:16.820 And I didn't go through with them.
00:46:19.820 And everything's been fine.
00:46:20.940 So I think, you know, I think I'm going to agree with you on this, Daniel.
00:46:24.420 Pass it up, man.
00:46:25.260 Let it go.
00:46:26.060 You know what I'm saying?
00:46:26.960 Maybe marry a real woman that you actually are in love with.
00:46:30.220 And maybe one day y'all might get divorced and she'll just take all your shit.
00:46:33.640 So that way, you know, nothing.
00:46:39.100 All right.
00:46:39.620 Let's hear another call right here, man.
00:46:41.460 Or you might just fall in love, bro.
00:46:44.060 Hey, dear.
00:46:45.200 This is Adam from Bellingham, Washington.
00:46:48.100 Hey, Adam.
00:46:48.860 Calling from Bellingham, dude.
00:46:50.420 And I was with a friend one time who his car broke down in Bellingham.
00:46:55.560 And that's it.
00:46:58.480 I think that's all I remember about it.
00:46:59.900 Let's go.
00:47:00.380 I've been listening to your show for two weeks now.
00:47:04.060 I thought it was pretty funny in listening to two weeks of mailman-related things.
00:47:10.200 And guess what?
00:47:12.360 Your boy is a mailman.
00:47:14.220 Yeah, man, boy.
00:47:15.940 Get in there.
00:47:17.360 You out there, you slanging letters, boy.
00:47:20.080 You that package savage, baby.
00:47:22.860 You out there, boy, with them perfume samples.
00:47:25.940 And you out there just dropping off them sweet scents into people's boxes, boy.
00:47:31.540 Throw a hit of that S. Day Lauder up into somebody's dirty box.
00:47:35.680 Man, I love that.
00:47:36.980 Dude, I was just talking today about how crazy it was.
00:47:40.520 Two mailmen called.
00:47:42.240 Male people, male persons, whatever.
00:47:43.900 You know what I'm saying?
00:47:44.980 Badass motherfuckers that's dropping off that mail.
00:47:53.040 And they both had dogs barking in the background.
00:47:56.960 I thought that was awesome.
00:47:58.200 But thank you for calling in.
00:47:59.300 Adam, you's a mailman as well?
00:48:00.540 Any more?
00:48:01.620 And I was laughing at the guy last week who got proposition for sex out in the streets.
00:48:08.360 I'm wondering, I've been a mailman for two years.
00:48:13.760 Well, I guess what I'm wondering is, why not me?
00:48:20.380 So you ready for something.
00:48:22.780 And this could be, look, if you're a stay-at-home mom, stay-at-home dad, you know.
00:48:28.760 Here's the thing.
00:48:29.560 Some jobs, it's already set up, you know.
00:48:32.360 Put this in the box.
00:48:33.920 Lick this stamp.
00:48:35.560 You know what I'm saying?
00:48:36.100 Stuff this envelope.
00:48:38.100 Fuck me by this stack of paper.
00:48:40.220 You know what I'm saying?
00:48:40.580 There's already enough kind of things out there in that world where you can easily lead right into sex.
00:48:46.800 You know, it is kind of crazy if you, when you think about this, and it reminds me of that movie Bridges of Madison Counties.
00:48:53.440 And how you could just be there lonely for so long.
00:48:56.420 Or if you are lonesome, and you have a man coming by each day, and you ain't hollering at that man.
00:49:02.760 Now, you might not be doing it because you're married, and you're in a committed, you know, and that's where you're at.
00:49:07.240 But sometimes, sometimes you just have to change it up.
00:49:10.860 Sometimes you gotta put a, you know, you gotta put a foot out into that fear.
00:49:15.080 And sometimes you gotta fuck a male person.
00:49:17.820 Sometimes you have to fuck a male person.
00:49:19.900 Think about that.
00:49:23.440 Because think about this.
00:49:24.460 Say you're running around town.
00:49:26.120 A small town or even a city.
00:49:28.480 There's dogs chasing you.
00:49:30.140 And the weather is trying to get you in hail.
00:49:33.680 Snow, hail.
00:49:36.020 Snail.
00:49:37.260 Rain.
00:49:38.700 Tornadoes.
00:49:39.740 Rainados.
00:49:40.220 Weather you've never even fucking heard of is coming after these people.
00:49:43.480 Coming after you.
00:49:44.340 Imagine you're a male person.
00:49:46.300 And you're doing all of this and all of that and surviving.
00:49:49.040 And finally, finally one day somebody fucks you during the afternoon.
00:49:54.820 How would you feel?
00:49:55.760 Pretty good, I bet, huh?
00:49:56.700 You know, sometimes we have to look at it from the other perspective.
00:50:00.140 But thank you for calling, Adam.
00:50:01.360 Maybe you'll get some, man.
00:50:03.620 Maybe you'll get some.
00:50:05.060 Here's one more follow-up from last week.
00:50:06.880 Hi, Theo.
00:50:08.000 My name is Vidal.
00:50:10.000 I live in Utah.
00:50:11.960 Thank you for calling Lidol.
00:50:13.660 I think it's Lidol or Vidal.
00:50:15.020 I can't tell.
00:50:15.660 But thank you for calling, Vidal.
00:50:17.780 And I'm married.
00:50:19.360 And I have a beautiful little girl.
00:50:21.880 Oh, man, you got a beautiful child.
00:50:24.340 And that's awesome, man.
00:50:25.900 Little girls are so sweet.
00:50:27.120 That's perfect.
00:50:28.140 More?
00:50:29.100 I was just calling because I want to let you know that, you know, what you were saying
00:50:34.140 really inspired me when it came to that guy that had lost his grandpa and his girl.
00:50:40.380 So, I recently, about a month ago, lost my best friend.
00:50:48.080 I'm in the military.
00:50:49.380 He was in the military.
00:50:53.220 I lost him to drugs.
00:50:55.740 And I lost, oh, I also lost my sergeant.
00:50:59.920 And, you know, it's been tough.
00:51:02.620 It's been rough.
00:51:03.360 I do agree that drugs, I was using them to help me feel also as well.
00:51:10.700 And I want to let the guy know that, you know, he's not alone.
00:51:16.640 I know I'm there with him.
00:51:19.600 And, you know, I want to let him know he's not alone.
00:51:24.520 And I'm trying to quit these drugs, man.
00:51:29.020 And I know he probably wants to, too.
00:51:31.080 So, if there was something we can do where we can both, you know, quit at the same time
00:51:38.500 or something, I'm not really sure where I'm going with this.
00:51:42.940 I just want to help him out because I don't want anyone to feel what.
00:51:47.580 I feel you, man.
00:51:49.000 Yeah, I feel you, dude.
00:51:50.000 It's tough when you know somebody else hurts and you have had experience with that same
00:51:54.640 pain and you know they're going through it.
00:51:57.160 Man, it's like secondhand smoke, but for your heart, isn't it?
00:52:01.780 It can be pretty hectic.
00:52:04.120 Well, thanks for calling, man.
00:52:05.220 You know what?
00:52:05.620 I tried to reach out this weekend to that gentleman and I'm going to try again tomorrow.
00:52:10.300 And maybe we, yeah, can connect you guys, see if he's okay with that.
00:52:15.420 And, yeah, at least you could, you know, you'll know you're not alone then.
00:52:19.160 You know, it's crazy how much different it gets when you just put a little bit of light
00:52:25.720 on your problem, man.
00:52:27.640 Because problems, they prosper in the darkness.
00:52:31.180 They become Picassos in the darkness, man.
00:52:35.160 Just a little bit of dirty ink and next thing you know, it's fucking Vincent Van, Van Voldemort.
00:52:43.100 You know, and that's the dark arts.
00:52:46.820 Things prosper in the darkness.
00:52:48.440 And you got to shine a little bit of light on them, man.
00:52:51.280 And it can lift up a little, bro.
00:52:53.640 You know, I feel that, man.
00:52:54.700 I believe that shit.
00:52:55.360 I know it sounds crazy, dude.
00:52:56.860 You know.
00:52:57.760 Or what the fuck?
00:52:58.600 Does this dude know what he's talking about?
00:53:00.160 Oh, well, dude.
00:53:02.160 You know what I'm saying?
00:53:03.080 I'll smoke a couple bowls of my own dick, son.
00:53:06.000 You know what I'm saying?
00:53:07.020 I'll babysit a cat with my nuts, bro.
00:53:09.800 Because that's who I am, bro.
00:53:11.620 You know what I'm saying?
00:53:12.780 I'll eat caviar off your cousin's ass, cheek, son.
00:53:15.780 Because I'm rich and naughty.
00:53:17.360 You feel me?
00:53:19.020 All right.
00:53:20.580 Let's take a couple of calls that came in.
00:53:22.880 Oh, best weekend, worst weekend.
00:53:26.860 You know what I'm going to do, though?
00:53:28.400 Let's go.
00:53:29.120 Hey, Theo.
00:53:30.000 This is Haley from rural Illinois.
00:53:33.000 Hey, Haley.
00:53:33.680 I'm in rural Illinois right now.
00:53:35.360 Onward.
00:53:35.660 I'm just cleaning somebody's house, doing my thing, you know, just like every day.
00:53:41.440 Oh, you're a house cleaner?
00:53:42.260 You know what I just realized the other day?
00:53:43.640 Like, I'm okay with tipping bartenders and servers, you know, at a bar if I buy a drink.
00:53:49.560 But I just, I weigh whether tip a house cleaner.
00:53:54.080 You know what I'm saying?
00:53:54.980 Because I'm doing, you know, if I'm at a motel room or hotel room or something, you know what I'm saying, man.
00:54:00.140 I'm leaving fucking back hair on the mattress.
00:54:03.640 You feel me?
00:54:04.260 Homeward.
00:54:04.720 But I had the best weekend ever this last weekend.
00:54:08.600 My boyfriend and I and our three best friends went camping by Starved Rock.
00:54:14.680 And we did some hiking.
00:54:17.240 We did a little drug, you know.
00:54:19.960 Oh, yeah.
00:54:20.880 You went hiking up by Starved Rock.
00:54:22.540 And you know what's so funny?
00:54:23.240 I drove past Starved Rock today.
00:54:25.260 And I was like, who the fuck would ever hang out around there?
00:54:27.540 And bam, you just called.
00:54:29.100 Excuse me.
00:54:29.580 And you just called.
00:54:30.280 That's pretty sweet.
00:54:32.020 Because it seemed like a place Starved Rock.
00:54:34.060 It seemed like things, you know, a place where things didn't end well for somebody or for a group of people.
00:54:38.080 But I'm glad you guys got out there and had fun.
00:54:40.660 You know, I wish that I went camping more.
00:54:42.480 My sister and her kids go camping all the time.
00:54:44.860 And, you know, I don't do enough of that kind of stuff.
00:54:47.020 I don't really get connected out there in nature enough.
00:54:49.280 And I need to work more on it.
00:54:52.080 I'm going to try to make that a goal for myself.
00:54:53.900 Let's hear more.
00:54:54.940 Just a little bit.
00:54:55.940 But we did some drinking.
00:54:58.060 We had a great time.
00:55:00.440 And to top it all off, the boyfriend and I came home.
00:55:03.860 And then we went kayaking down the Mackinac River.
00:55:07.540 And we got a little frisky.
00:55:09.580 Maybe once, twice, or three times.
00:55:14.080 It was really fun.
00:55:15.740 But, yeah, I can't wait to see you in Wyoming this Friday.
00:55:19.780 I'm calling in and telling my boss I got the shits so that I can come see you.
00:55:24.320 Thank you.
00:55:25.240 Wow.
00:55:25.820 So you already came to the show then.
00:55:27.540 Oh, this is wild.
00:55:28.720 This came in this week.
00:55:30.980 Well, yeah, it's crazy.
00:55:32.360 A, you called your boss and said you got the shits.
00:55:34.040 That's pretty, I mean, nobody can deny or lie about that.
00:55:38.760 B, you and your boyfriend got out there on that Mackinac River and was out there spanking and busting around each other.
00:55:45.640 And I like that.
00:55:47.040 You know, I remember going tubing when I was young and stopping and doing some sex and doing some child sex because I was still a child.
00:55:55.660 And so was the girl that I was seeing.
00:55:57.200 And we could legally have sex with each other because we were both children.
00:55:59.640 And doing some child sex out there on the banks.
00:56:03.120 And it's fun.
00:56:03.780 You know what's fun about that kind of stuff?
00:56:04.960 You got to fuck fast because your friends are waiting for you.
00:56:07.820 They're right up around the bend and you slip off on that sandbar and bust out, you know.
00:56:12.640 And it's all, I mean, in your genitals, everybody's genitals so cold you can't even tell what's getting fucked or what's doing the, you know, what's doing, you know, really doing a lot of the darting and what's doing a lot of the accepting.
00:56:22.700 It's just basically like smashing cold meat into, chunks of cold meat into each other until both of them, you know, just coom out a little.
00:56:33.260 But thank you for calling.
00:56:34.280 That is a best weekend.
00:56:35.280 Let's hear another submission for our best worst weekend.
00:56:37.900 Hey, see you.
00:56:38.620 This is Kyle from Maryland.
00:56:40.600 I just wanted to call in, talk to you a little bit about my past weekend.
00:56:44.960 My girl of almost eight years just moved in yesterday.
00:56:49.280 Ooh, brave boy.
00:56:51.700 Boy, uh, more.
00:56:53.860 So we're all pretty stoked about that.
00:56:55.620 That's pretty cool.
00:56:56.940 Uh, you know, we made some nice dinner.
00:57:01.420 And in the midst of all that, chopping garlic, fucking cut my hand.
00:57:06.440 Girl was there all nice, happy, everything was sweet, great day.
00:57:09.880 Fucking ends up in the, uh, emergency room.
00:57:12.900 I'm cutting my hand.
00:57:14.280 Ooh, the irony for a vampire, huh?
00:57:17.640 Ha, onward.
00:57:18.520 We ended up getting back after, you know, just a few stitches.
00:57:22.320 Uh, and then we put on the Theo Vaughn, uh, Netflix special, laughing hysterically.
00:57:29.580 Go get us, you know, go get it done.
00:57:32.140 Get it in afterwards.
00:57:33.660 Ooh.
00:57:34.100 Uh, sitting there in bed.
00:57:35.940 She, she, she rolls over, she tells me, you know, that's Theo Vaughn, dude.
00:57:41.320 Funny dude.
00:57:42.380 Funny guy.
00:57:43.000 So we look it up.
00:57:44.280 Boom.
00:57:44.820 You're in Washington, D.C. in November.
00:57:47.920 Bought us some tickets.
00:57:49.540 Gonna come see you, buddy.
00:57:51.320 Appreciate you.
00:57:52.100 Thanks.
00:57:52.440 Thank you guys, man.
00:57:54.480 And it, obviously, I know I'm not the only person who realized that that's a threesome
00:57:58.240 invitation right there.
00:58:00.400 You know what I'm saying?
00:58:00.980 A little bit of garlic, a little bit of cutlery, trip to the hospital, couple stitches, Netflix,
00:58:06.060 people fucking, I mean, look, I mean, how much Morse code or charades you got to put
00:58:12.540 down there for now y'all trying to get daddy in that bedroom.
00:58:16.900 Um, that is awesome, man.
00:58:18.640 And the crazy thing is if you cut your hand open and you're having sex, you almost have
00:58:22.240 to keep your hand in the air so it doesn't throb very much.
00:58:24.680 But that's interesting, man.
00:58:26.000 And I appreciate your weekend.
00:58:27.580 That is a great weekend.
00:58:28.540 Both of these are great.
00:58:29.360 We got one more submission for this past month.
00:58:32.140 And then, uh, next week I'll let you know who won for this month, uh, for our best worst
00:58:35.820 weekend.
00:58:36.280 Here we go.
00:58:37.060 Hey, Theo, calling in for the best worst weekend, your boy Devin B. in Youngstown.
00:58:43.060 Oh, shit.
00:58:43.940 My boy Devin B. out in Youngsteezy, boy, Youngstown, Ohio.
00:58:47.820 And that's a great place to get, uh, you know, you get, uh, get some cornbread and, and get
00:58:53.060 fucked up as well and get mugged maybe even, or even, you know, um, you know, or also get
00:58:59.280 into military.
00:59:00.300 Onward?
00:59:00.960 Uh.
00:59:02.140 So I don't really know if I want to say it's a good or bad weekend per se, but this weekend
00:59:07.300 I just hung out with my dog and did some Molly, man.
00:59:10.720 Ooh, hung out with your dog and did a little bit of ecstasy, huh?
00:59:14.320 Hmm.
00:59:16.240 That sounds like some David and the Gnomes type of shit.
00:59:18.680 Remember that cartoon?
00:59:19.820 David and the Gnomes?
00:59:21.320 And they had like little gnomes and suddenly they had a wolf or like a dog, like a sled dog
00:59:27.120 hanging out with them.
00:59:27.860 And you're like, damn, they got this big white dog hanging out with this little, you know,
00:59:32.120 frisky little, little person.
00:59:34.540 That's fucking, somebody's on ecstasy.
00:59:36.680 Onward?
00:59:37.580 Fucking, I know that sounds weird, but pretty sure we connected.
00:59:43.040 Like on a different level.
00:59:44.320 Oh, I bet you did, dude.
00:59:47.160 I mean, I hope it was all kind of stuff you could talk about at the church, you know?
00:59:52.480 Onward?
00:59:54.100 Shit, man.
00:59:55.600 I don't know.
00:59:56.900 Okay, and there you go, man.
01:00:03.680 I don't know.
01:00:05.200 Is that bestiality or is that just friendship?
01:00:09.440 What is it?
01:00:10.080 What did we just hear, guys?
01:00:11.220 What did we honestly just hear?
01:00:12.460 I do not know.
01:00:14.820 Let's take another call right here.
01:00:16.380 This was just a regular, somebody hitting the hotline with a thought or a suggestion.
01:00:20.560 The hotline number is 985-664-9503.
01:00:25.500 And if you want to contribute to the podcast, call and contribute.
01:00:28.480 There's also a video fan line.
01:00:29.800 You can send video fan line questions through our Live Rays fan line, and that link is on
01:00:35.200 the YouTube page.
01:00:36.260 Don't forget to subscribe to the podcast, please.
01:00:38.980 Let's hear.
01:00:40.580 Hey, what's up, Theo?
01:00:41.840 It's Zach from Toronto, Canada.
01:00:44.940 Zach from Toronto.
01:00:45.940 And I'll be up there in Toronto a little bit later this year, so get those passes to
01:00:49.300 JFL Toronto.
01:00:50.700 More?
01:00:50.880 So, my conundrum is that I'm 29, and I never had sex with a girl.
01:00:59.540 Wow.
01:01:01.900 Dude, I got to think about this, man, because you're 29.
01:01:06.420 You never had sex, huh?
01:01:10.940 Wow.
01:01:11.620 Because let's hear.
01:01:13.860 Let's listen to you.
01:01:14.540 We've listened to me enough.
01:01:15.480 Let's hear.
01:01:15.680 Sorry.
01:01:16.120 I interrupted you, Zach.
01:01:17.180 More?
01:01:17.360 You know, and it's not like, I'm not a freak.
01:01:20.140 I'm a bigger dude.
01:01:21.320 You know, I'm like 6'2", like 230, 240.
01:01:25.820 Bro, you sound cute enough.
01:01:26.800 There's girls listening right now who would probably fuck you, bro.
01:01:29.760 And a couple dudes, too, bro.
01:01:31.700 So, one way or another, we might get you out of this jam.
01:01:35.160 Let's hear more.
01:01:35.980 And, you know, I've been spending a lot of time just working on my education.
01:01:40.800 I got some university degrees.
01:01:43.500 Oh, man.
01:01:44.120 So, I'll tell you what you are fucking, dude.
01:01:46.140 You're fucking the world, bro.
01:01:47.800 Because you're getting yourself some diplomas, dude.
01:01:51.080 You know what I'm saying?
01:01:52.000 You're stacking that paper.
01:01:53.640 You're stacking those frame fillers, man.
01:01:56.220 You got a couple hitters.
01:01:57.500 More?
01:01:57.920 And trying to get a career off the ground.
01:02:01.220 But it's like I never had sex with a girl.
01:02:04.220 And I never really pursued it either.
01:02:07.120 Wow.
01:02:07.520 Wow.
01:02:09.160 So, you're what?
01:02:09.700 I mean, Joe Rogan talks about this thing called the incels, I think.
01:02:13.080 And it's people that don't have no interest in sex at all.
01:02:16.200 I don't know if that's what you are because I have to research it a little bit more.
01:02:18.660 And that's just.
01:02:19.500 And also, you could just be your own thing.
01:02:21.500 But this is super interesting, man.
01:02:23.200 I'd love to.
01:02:24.120 I'm going to have to call you and talk to you on the air about this.
01:02:26.820 But let's finish your call.
01:02:28.620 But I'm starting to think, like, maybe I should just give up and be celibate forever.
01:02:33.600 Dude, I heard this, man.
01:02:36.180 If you don't have sex and you go to heaven, bro, that there's like everybody.
01:02:40.600 It's like you're like a piñata.
01:02:42.400 And they beat you open.
01:02:44.760 And all of, like, the semen and all that, confetti or whatever.
01:02:48.740 Like, you know.
01:02:49.520 Because semen is basically just confetti but from, like, heaven.
01:02:53.880 And it all flies out of your body.
01:02:56.960 People beat you open and it flies out of your body.
01:02:58.880 But it doesn't hurt.
01:02:59.580 It's still, you know.
01:03:00.500 But it's just like a celebration.
01:03:02.920 It's like a Maypole celebration or something like that.
01:03:05.140 Or, like, I guess, like Cinco de Mayo or something.
01:03:08.700 More?
01:03:09.680 And also my buddy.
01:03:12.380 My buddy even, he really likes those hookers, right?
01:03:16.640 Okay.
01:03:17.100 He's out there escorting more.
01:03:19.100 And he even offered to pay for me to fuck the hooker.
01:03:23.400 And I said no because I'm not doing that kind of shit.
01:03:26.620 But I don't know.
01:03:28.040 What do you think about that?
01:03:29.240 You know, I was, like, 29 years old.
01:03:32.120 Never had sex with a girl.
01:03:33.240 I got my dick sucked once.
01:03:35.100 But that was a while ago.
01:03:37.340 I don't know.
01:03:37.960 What do you think?
01:03:39.420 Man, I love it.
01:03:40.380 You know, this is fascinating to me.
01:03:42.400 You know, this is super interesting and it's fascinating to me.
01:03:44.880 That you've been through all, you know, you're 29.
01:03:50.000 What do you do?
01:03:51.420 You know what?
01:03:52.100 You know, this is kind of a crazy week because I'm on the road.
01:03:54.220 I'm going to leave it right there.
01:03:55.560 What does he do?
01:03:57.380 You know, here he is.
01:03:58.400 He's been through.
01:03:59.900 You know, he's 29 years old.
01:04:01.280 He's been alive for 29 years, he said.
01:04:03.880 You know, and he don't have any sex.
01:04:06.120 You know, he's never gotten that warm, you know, that warm catfish wrapped around his freaking, you know, his, you know, his, his, his, his, his body dart.
01:04:19.420 You know, he's never gotten to hide that fucking, that meat cane up in that, up in that soft sock.
01:04:28.600 So what, you know, at this point, because here's another thing.
01:04:31.780 Your imagination, I'm sure, is, I don't know if there's any, even any.
01:04:38.640 And if you've been watching pornography, which, I mean, I'm just assuming, say assuming you have been watching pornography, there's no way you're imagining that something in real life.
01:04:48.400 I don't think he's going to be able to compete with that.
01:04:51.840 And also, escorts are, look, man, escorting is a means to an end.
01:04:56.020 These are women who are out there working.
01:04:57.460 These are making, you know, these are women who are, a lot of women putting their, their families through, putting their children through kindergarten.
01:05:06.160 You know, it's like, that's not the, that isn't, if that's how you get sex, I don't think that's a demeaning way.
01:05:17.020 This is interesting.
01:05:17.800 What does he do?
01:05:19.080 He's 29 years old.
01:05:21.060 I'll give you a call, but I'll wait and do that on the air because I think we should talk.
01:05:25.120 I'd love to talk to you in front of it, you know, so everybody can be involved as I learn so that everyone learns at the same time.
01:05:35.620 But yeah, man, look, we'll get into it.
01:05:38.280 We'll get into it.
01:05:39.300 You know, I'm going to finish up my holiday weekend because 4th of July is coming up.
01:05:43.060 I want to say happy 4th of July to anybody who served for our country.
01:05:47.080 And I also want to say that, you know, this is your America.
01:05:51.440 This is your America.
01:05:52.580 Don't let any, don't let your boss tell you what your America is supposed to look like.
01:05:58.200 Don't let your, don't let your, a celebrity tell you what your America is supposed to look like.
01:06:05.740 Don't let someone who holds a job over your head tell you what your America is supposed to look like.
01:06:11.320 This is your America.
01:06:12.300 Celebrate it however you want.
01:06:14.300 This is your America.
01:06:16.120 You know, I want to thank all the men and women who have served, who protect our independence.
01:06:20.580 You know, so many times they want to say, you know, people want to say, oh, well, you know, anybody can come into America.
01:06:30.240 It doesn't even matter.
01:06:31.060 But, you know, I'd love to know from some soldiers out there, how do you guys feel about that?
01:06:38.420 You know, if you're protecting our borders, or this might be my mindset and it's totally wrong because I'm not, I'm not doing this.
01:06:44.700 But if you're protecting our borders, what do you think the borders should be like?
01:06:48.820 Like, you know, how do you manage the idea of America being like a safe haven for people, but at the same time America being able to take care of itself?
01:07:03.320 You know, what does that look like?
01:07:04.520 Are some of these ideas old ideas and some of these ideas far-fetched?
01:07:09.240 You know, I'd love to, if there's any, any people who have served out there who might have some insight into that because I can have my ideas, but I haven't protected the walls of, you know, I haven't protected the, not the walls, you know what I'm saying, the, I haven't protected our borders.
01:07:27.120 I've never done it.
01:07:28.880 You know, I don't, is that in your heart when you choose to fight for America or if you choose to defend America, if you choose to serve in the military?
01:07:36.240 Is that in your heart or is that, or is it just, that isn't, Matt, you know, that's just part of the, I don't know, I'm just, I'm intrigued.
01:07:43.240 I'm intrigued what that's like because there just seems to be a lot of different viewpoints on it.
01:07:51.720 You know, I, I tend to believe that, that there should be an organized way for people to come in and out of our country.
01:08:03.500 That's what I believe because, and here's why.
01:08:06.780 To me, because I've traveled to, I've traveled to a lot of countries, maybe 40, 50, and there's an extremely organized way that I have to go in and out of those places.
01:08:21.480 And some places, they don't even want you there.
01:08:27.180 You know, and I just, I don't see how you lose with organization.
01:08:31.420 In fact, I see only how you gain because then if somebody comes here and they need help, you know who they are.
01:08:38.900 And, and I think America, we need a roll call anyway.
01:08:41.640 We need to know who's here.
01:08:43.480 You know, how can you teach a class?
01:08:45.220 How can you work with a class if you don't even know who's in the classroom?
01:08:48.220 And they got, you know, seven or nine students hiding in behind the coat rack because they're afraid to live openly.
01:08:55.520 You know, so I think we got to have an organized way for people to come into the country.
01:08:58.480 That's what I think.
01:09:00.880 But I'm happy to be proven wrong.
01:09:04.140 Or I'm happy to hear a different suggestion or a different idea.
01:09:08.460 Because you know what?
01:09:09.140 There's a good chance I might not know what the fuck I'm talking about.
01:09:11.600 But I'd love to know from people that protect our borders, what do they think?
01:09:16.720 Or is there even a group, or is there like a popular group thought there?
01:09:20.320 Or is it all just everybody has different opinions and you just don't bring them up because, you know, because it's, you're on the job.
01:09:27.280 And that sort of thing.
01:09:28.920 But none the matter.
01:09:30.320 None the matter that.
01:09:33.220 Whether people share the same ideas on that or not.
01:09:36.000 But happy 4th of July to you.
01:09:38.840 And hope you spend it.
01:09:39.640 Hope you watch a fat uncle fucking mug down a four or five fucking hot dogs, dude.
01:09:45.700 You know?
01:09:46.660 Because this is America, man.
01:09:48.120 And we can enjoy ourselves.
01:09:49.900 And hope you listen to some good music.
01:09:51.320 Play some Will Smith.
01:09:52.340 You know what I'm saying?
01:09:53.660 Play some shit your dad might even know a little.
01:09:55.520 Play some Will Smith.
01:09:57.240 And let's do it.
01:10:00.480 We'll get out of here.
01:10:01.580 And this is, again, this is Alabama by Bishop Gunn.
01:10:07.400 Thank you very much.
01:10:08.820 Happy 4th of July.
01:10:09.560 Thank you for being here.
01:10:10.160 We'll get a more regular episode next week.
01:10:12.540 I'll see you on Thursday's episode with Jordan B. Peterson.
01:10:15.840 Hit the hotline if you have questions for him.
01:10:18.200 And be good to yourselves.
01:10:20.140 Because I bet you deserve it.
01:10:21.160 Thank you guys for coming out this weekend in Wyoming, Illinois.
01:10:24.580 And just making me feel at home, even in such a small place.
01:10:29.060 I had a blast.
01:10:31.580 She was hotter than the blacktop
01:10:57.320 Broke down at a truck stop
01:11:00.500 She looked about as wild as the story she told
01:11:05.180 Said she was a Christian saving souls in Savannah
01:11:10.340 And the lovers sending her to Alabama
01:11:12.980 Had a pistol in her boots
01:11:26.660 Black hair, dark roots
01:11:29.860 Dark roots
01:11:31.080 Said she got a hold, man, but I shouldn't be worried
01:11:34.400 Though it seemed like she was in a hurry
01:11:37.200 Higher than a junkie dryin' out in the slammer
01:11:42.500 Lord, I hope I don't die in Alabama
01:11:44.840 Higher than a junkie dryin' out in the slammer
01:11:47.580 That's powerful
01:11:48.800 Yeah, Alabama
01:11:50.940 Ladies and gentlemen, I'm Jonathan Kite
01:12:11.680 And welcome to Kite Club
01:12:13.000 A podcast where I'll be sharing thoughts on things like current events
01:12:16.680 Stand-up stories
01:12:17.880 And seven ways to pleasure your partner
01:12:20.220 The answer may shock you
01:12:22.100 Sometimes I'll interview my friends
01:12:24.120 Sometimes I won't
01:12:25.440 And as always, I'll be joined by the voices in my head
01:12:28.940 You have three new voice messages
01:12:31.820 A lot of people are talking about Kite Club
01:12:34.820 I've been talking about Kite Club for so long
01:12:37.620 Longer than anybody else
01:12:39.260 So great
01:12:40.060 Hi, sweet ya
01:12:42.000 Easy deal
01:12:43.100 Anyone who doesn't listen to Kite Club
01:12:45.540 Is a dodgy bloody wanker
01:12:47.600 Jermaine
01:12:48.300 Hi, I'll take a quarter pounder with cheese
01:12:51.580 And a McFlurry
01:12:52.600 Sorry, sir, but our ice cream machine is broken
01:12:54.460 I think Tom Hanks just butt-dialed me
01:12:59.420 Anyway, first rule of Kite Club is
01:13:01.840 Tell everyone about Kite Club
01:13:03.540 Second rule of Kite Club is
01:13:05.480 Tell everyone about Kite Club
01:13:07.720 Third rule
01:13:08.500 Like and subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts
01:13:11.120 Or watch us on YouTube, yeah?
01:13:13.760 And yes, don't worry
01:13:14.800 My Brad Pitt impression will get better