This Past Weekend with Theo Von - May 06, 2019


Comfort Cat | This Past Weekend #196


Episode Stats


Length

1 hour and 3 minutes

Words per minute

167.52492

Word count

10,714

Sentence count

15

Harmful content

Misogyny

36

sentences flagged

Toxicity

125

sentences flagged

Hate speech

33

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode i talk about how I like to have a hat on and how to be comforted by a hat. I also talk about the comfort of a hat and how it makes me feel. I hope you enjoy this episode and remember that you are not alone.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 and i can't figure out if i should put my hat on or hat off you ever have that
00:00:08.440 and women y'all are lucky unless it's a like a um you know kind of a women that do tennis or a 1.00
00:00:16.960 lesbian type of lady that likes to wear a man like a hat then you don't have to regularly decide 1.00
00:00:24.540 hat or no hat hat or no hat a lot of stuff goes into that when you're a fella when you're a man you
00:00:36.060 know when you're an adult male because it's a matter like okay do do my hair does my hair look 0.97
00:00:43.860 nice enough today or do i just hide that shit you know just be a i had a dactyl you feel me i had a 0.98
00:00:53.160 hippopotamus you know do you or do you say look i'm a ride with the with the lord's drapes today 0.99
00:01:00.960 and let your hair go you know i'm gonna do that thing a little i'm gonna do that dangle and let 1.00
00:01:07.920 your hair go am i look there are days when i feel like i'm losing hair like i woke up the morning in
00:01:15.220 the morning i'm down maybe 70 hairs or down maybe 60 80 100 hair or 100 200 hairs
00:01:22.320 and i say dang well i'm doing hat today and there's there's days when i wake up and i'm feeling
00:01:28.940 full like my hair like uh like maybe my hair had other hair stay overnight and sleep at the house
00:01:37.320 and so suddenly my head looks full of hair you know like it's like a family reunion or something
00:01:43.260 for follicles
00:01:44.700 let's get into the episode
00:01:49.100 i'm just sitting on your front porch wondering how could i be so far from my
00:02:11.440 home
00:02:12.740 and my mind is somewhere else but when i find it i'll patch up where it's been blown
00:02:23.680 now i'm just floating on the breeze and i feel i'm falling like these leaves i must be
00:02:34.100 cornerstone
00:02:36.400 i'm on
00:02:38.700 but when i reach that ground i'll share this peace of mind i found i can feel it
00:02:45.100 in my bones
00:02:47.200 but it's gonna take
00:02:50.100 a little time
00:02:52.860 for me to set that parking brake
00:02:56.720 and let myself
00:02:57.720 and let myself
00:02:58.320 and let myself
00:02:58.360 all
00:02:58.820 shine
00:02:59.720 that light on me
00:03:03.420 i'll sit and tell you my stories
00:03:09.220 shine
00:03:11.720 on me
00:03:14.120 and i will
00:03:16.620 find a song
00:03:18.380 i will sing it
00:03:19.900 just
00:03:20.520 for you
00:03:21.820 wow thank you uh hello hello everyone i'm coming to you it is um monday may 6 in the year
00:03:36.300 two thousand and one nine
00:03:39.020 2019 we're calling it or two zero one nine for people that just do individual numbers
00:03:45.120 but still keep time
00:03:48.620 this is it this is where we are
00:03:52.160 you know this is where we are this is where i am that's what i'm realizing a little bit today this is where i am
00:03:59.260 you know sometime and i don't like making decisions man this hat thing i couldn't do i go hat do i go no hat
00:04:07.920 and then i started thinking at least man we have that option
00:04:12.280 you got that get out of uh
00:04:15.960 you got that get out of uh
00:04:19.220 if your hair looks if your hair is looking a little ugly in the morning you got that get out of ugly free card
00:04:23.920 that hat
00:04:28.260 you put the hat on
00:04:29.540 a hat is just a small apartment for your head
00:04:32.440 once you get inside a hat it's almost like being indoors a little bit and that's what i'll
00:04:38.340 i've always enjoyed the most about a hat
00:04:40.240 is that
00:04:41.660 you put a hat on and suddenly
00:04:43.760 it's like you're indoors a little bit
00:04:47.480 it's like you got a little
00:04:49.260 you know like um
00:04:51.740 you got a little more a little more
00:04:54.400 between you and the world you got a little bit of
00:04:56.820 you know i like being a little bit more comforted
00:04:59.860 i'm that comforted cat
00:05:01.920 some cats you see them out there on the power lines walking the power lines
00:05:06.080 and doing uh cigarettes and um
00:05:08.860 you know maybe they uh
00:05:11.420 they'll get their tail corn road 0.99
00:05:13.540 and they're out there and fucking you know doing dice and shit like that and and 0.99
00:05:18.960 hanging out you know out in philadelphia or different places you know but 0.99
00:05:24.040 i'm that comfort cat
00:05:25.920 i like to have a little bit of a hat on sometimes you know i like to
00:05:30.060 put you know sometimes i'll put a little bit of cotton in my shirt i'll empty a bag of cotton into my shirt
00:05:35.100 so people can't see it out here but i'm comforted
00:05:38.440 i got that extra go on
00:05:40.800 happening
00:05:41.380 i got that you know
00:05:43.620 you know i got that
00:05:46.120 i got that
00:05:47.260 that fluff inside of me just
00:05:49.300 just i need a little bit more comfort
00:05:51.260 you know sometime i used to have a neighbor
00:05:54.120 and he was
00:05:54.540 real real big guy
00:05:56.320 and they called him
00:05:57.460 his name was wayne but they called him fat wayne
00:05:59.580 i didn't call him that his dad did actually but
00:06:01.920 and uh
00:06:03.480 i'd sleep over at his house sometimes
00:06:06.000 and we'd sleep in his bed
00:06:07.800 we was laying his bed you know because he lived there
00:06:10.100 and he had it and that's where he kept his bed obviously
00:06:13.020 and we would lay in his bed
00:06:15.800 and when he fell asleep you couldn't wake him up
00:06:18.540 you thought he was dead until he woke up
00:06:21.060 and he may have been dead
00:06:22.160 he may not even have actually gone to sleep at night
00:06:26.600 he may have died
00:06:28.400 and then just
00:06:30.300 just risen every morning you know
00:06:32.760 maybe he just had those religious
00:06:35.260 you know he just
00:06:36.840 zoned out and then re-zoned back in
00:06:39.200 but
00:06:41.120 he would when so when he would fall asleep
00:06:43.740 you know you could
00:06:44.700 you could put things on his back
00:06:46.100 you could do um
00:06:47.700 you know you could play soldiers on his back
00:06:50.220 and do little you know the army coming up over here
00:06:52.760 up over to uh
00:06:53.740 you know the scapula and then the other
00:06:56.300 you know you could do fighters
00:06:58.060 you know rambo versus
00:06:59.540 you know she-ra
00:07:01.020 and um
00:07:03.520 and you could do different stuff like that
00:07:06.100 on his back
00:07:07.500 you know you could do whatever
00:07:08.200 but i remember when i would go to
00:07:09.600 when i would be time for bed
00:07:11.100 i would lay down next to him
00:07:12.680 and i put his arm over me
00:07:14.820 and his arm had like a tattoo on it or something
00:07:19.160 i don't remember what it was
00:07:20.160 let me think about now
00:07:21.180 what was that
00:07:21.920 it may have been a couple um
00:07:25.380 what was that
00:07:29.900 a snowman or something
00:07:31.080 or some bacon
00:07:31.660 and his arm
00:07:33.340 and i'd put his arm over me
00:07:34.540 i'd put his arm over me
00:07:35.620 and then that's how i would sleep
00:07:36.680 you know i'm just that comfort cat
00:07:39.040 you know i'm just that comfort cat man
00:07:42.380 i like to have a little bit of
00:07:44.340 extra
00:07:45.660 i like to have a little bit
00:07:47.860 i need a little more support
00:07:49.660 you know i'm the kind of guy
00:07:51.700 you'll find a training wheel
00:07:52.800 on my back
00:07:54.500 just one
00:07:55.120 just that one hitter
00:07:57.100 you know i'm the kind of guy
00:07:59.740 who uh
00:08:00.600 who if i lay down next to you 0.75
00:08:03.080 i'll throw it
00:08:05.320 i'll throw your arm over me
00:08:06.540 you know
00:08:07.880 for a little while
00:08:08.700 now i'll
00:08:09.280 you know
00:08:10.160 i'll share
00:08:10.840 i'll do you for a while too
00:08:12.140 i'll
00:08:12.320 you know once i get a little rest
00:08:13.940 i'll wake up
00:08:14.540 and i'll throw one of my arms over you 0.80
00:08:15.940 or two arms
00:08:16.740 because i got lean medium arms
00:08:19.020 i got these medium reachers
00:08:21.800 i can't even
00:08:22.440 if somebody with really short arms
00:08:24.960 wants to shake my hand
00:08:25.760 i can't get there
00:08:26.580 you know those medium arms
00:08:29.460 but i'll put both of them on you
00:08:31.360 so you uh
00:08:33.640 feel a little bit of comfort as well
00:08:34.940 because i know what it feels like
00:08:36.300 you know
00:08:38.800 i know what it feels like
00:08:40.060 not only do i recognize that i need comfort
00:08:43.000 but then i have to then also do the inverse of that
00:08:47.200 i got to recognize what it feels like
00:08:49.260 if somebody else needs comfort
00:08:51.720 because i have to notice that
00:08:56.100 like if there's something that i
00:08:57.220 that i have a
00:08:58.000 that that i
00:08:59.880 that i require
00:09:01.120 then there's going to be something that somebody else
00:09:03.740 then there's
00:09:04.620 then i should notice that same
00:09:06.220 requirement or deficiency in others
00:09:09.160 immediately
00:09:09.820 you know and that's really
00:09:13.580 been something that
00:09:14.660 has been brought to some of the
00:09:16.680 forefront of my life
00:09:17.820 over the past couple years
00:09:19.120 since i started trying to get into like
00:09:21.400 12 step and learning about things
00:09:22.980 is that
00:09:23.500 is some of that awareness
00:09:26.220 just realizing oh
00:09:27.320 just how common it is
00:09:31.500 when i have an issue
00:09:32.280 that somebody else have it
00:09:33.280 that i can notice that issue in them
00:09:35.460 and not accuse them of having it
00:09:36.980 i don't even have to say it
00:09:38.140 but i could recognize man
00:09:40.060 you know i recognize this person
00:09:42.040 they might
00:09:42.440 i can try to just show them extra comfort
00:09:45.000 i'll just take a gamble
00:09:46.080 that they need more comfort
00:09:47.280 but i am that uh
00:09:51.420 i can all right
00:09:52.860 who's was that water
00:09:54.660 oh jesus
00:09:56.220 uh i am i can be that comfort cat
00:09:58.940 um thank you guys for being here today
00:10:00.860 i i did put a hat on
00:10:02.460 for those of you listening over audio
00:10:03.820 um
00:10:05.200 i am happy
00:10:07.860 i'm i'm happy to be here
00:10:09.340 man i'm gonna put a picture up on instagram
00:10:10.860 i can't even tell you some of the nice
00:10:12.180 you know people always bring nice things
00:10:14.160 to some of the comedy shows
00:10:15.100 not always
00:10:15.720 you know for 14 years
00:10:17.420 nobody brought
00:10:17.920 nobody brought anything
00:10:19.360 to the comedy shows
00:10:22.700 but some people brought some
00:10:24.360 a couple of nice gifts this week
00:10:26.100 um
00:10:26.860 and there's always like
00:10:27.940 no there's not always
00:10:29.040 but there's sometimes nice cards
00:10:30.760 and just really sweet messages
00:10:32.020 and you know
00:10:34.100 i wish i had a ton of time
00:10:35.300 or time enough time
00:10:36.200 to just
00:10:36.520 i have time to
00:10:37.520 to to read them
00:10:38.700 and to enjoy them
00:10:40.000 i wish i had time
00:10:40.520 to discuss all of them
00:10:41.780 um
00:10:42.740 but some really cool art
00:10:45.060 uh
00:10:46.180 and um
00:10:47.800 and some other nice things man
00:10:49.960 over there in uh
00:10:51.740 in in new york city
00:10:53.680 at the shows
00:10:54.160 first i want to announce
00:10:55.280 i know everybody
00:10:55.940 in europe
00:10:57.180 has been hitting me up
00:10:58.300 which sounds like
00:10:59.900 the craziest thing ever
00:11:01.020 because we might be
00:11:02.660 coming back to europe
00:11:03.580 i want to say that
00:11:04.520 you know
00:11:06.520 but i want to tell you
00:11:07.420 these these um
00:11:08.420 pre-sale
00:11:09.480 this is uh
00:11:10.280 some european tour dates
00:11:11.280 and these people have been
00:11:11.920 waiting for a long time
00:11:12.740 and and thank you so much
00:11:13.880 so many like
00:11:14.460 just nice messages
00:11:15.520 from ireland
00:11:16.280 and
00:11:16.580 and norway
00:11:17.760 sweden bro
00:11:18.600 um
00:11:19.940 from the uk
00:11:21.020 you know
00:11:21.660 and uh
00:11:22.600 these are the places
00:11:23.140 that i'm going
00:11:23.500 some of these i picked
00:11:24.420 uh
00:11:24.840 some of these
00:11:25.480 uh
00:11:26.140 were presented to me
00:11:27.240 but whatever
00:11:28.520 it doesn't matter
00:11:29.140 um
00:11:30.200 they go on sale
00:11:30.940 on tuesday
00:11:31.640 at 10 o'clock
00:11:32.700 local time
00:11:33.700 european time
00:11:35.280 so don't hit me
00:11:37.100 you know
00:11:37.300 don't be hitting me up
00:11:38.360 immediately when you
00:11:39.240 hear this podcast
00:11:40.000 and say
00:11:40.680 i don't see the tickets
00:11:42.000 well
00:11:43.240 look at your clock
00:11:44.820 look at your calendar
00:11:46.680 bro
00:11:47.160 if you do it like that
00:11:48.460 i mean
00:11:49.820 i know some people
00:11:50.680 wake up and guess
00:11:51.600 what day it is
00:11:52.560 if you do that 1.00
00:11:54.020 then don't fuck 1.00
00:11:54.660 then do not bother 1.00
00:11:55.840 me
00:11:56.440 but if you wake up
00:11:58.620 and look at a calendar
00:12:00.020 and you got that time
00:12:01.320 the clock piece
00:12:02.200 okay
00:12:03.360 the two-hander 0.98
00:12:04.100 don't fucking roll 0.98
00:12:04.840 with that one-hander 0.99
00:12:05.600 that thing's shady
00:12:06.400 i remember when i was
00:12:08.360 like nine years old
00:12:09.100 they came out
00:12:09.480 with like a one-hand clock
00:12:10.640 so everybody just 0.99
00:12:13.660 fucking a little bit 0.99
00:12:14.420 early or a little bit 1.00
00:12:15.280 late man
00:12:15.880 you know
00:12:16.380 people furious
00:12:17.360 oh people were furious
00:12:19.240 you know
00:12:20.840 i remember that
00:12:21.340 they had a wig shop
00:12:22.320 in our town
00:12:22.820 and didn't know
00:12:23.300 exactly when to open
00:12:24.240 and the lady ended up 1.00
00:12:26.240 ended up honestly
00:12:28.060 committing suicide
00:12:28.800 and i don't know
00:12:29.600 if it was because of that
00:12:30.580 but
00:12:30.900 you know
00:12:33.380 you got to think
00:12:35.160 if somebody's already
00:12:35.800 wearing a wig
00:12:36.420 they just
00:12:36.840 they
00:12:37.100 you know
00:12:38.920 they
00:12:39.240 you know
00:12:42.520 it's
00:12:43.120 it's touch and go for
00:12:44.200 them
00:12:44.440 so suddenly
00:12:46.120 you
00:12:46.400 you know
00:12:47.040 somebody comes out
00:12:47.680 with a one-handed clock
00:12:48.700 and people just have to guess
00:12:49.720 how many minutes
00:12:50.260 are going on
00:12:50.880 and this
00:12:51.220 it's just a lot
00:12:53.420 but anyhow
00:12:54.420 these are the dates
00:12:55.360 nine
00:12:56.720 september
00:12:58.040 october
00:12:58.800 september 13th
00:13:00.880 in glasgow
00:13:01.780 at the o2 academy
00:13:03.860 september 15th
00:13:07.960 in dublin
00:13:08.700 ireland
00:13:09.340 at vicar street
00:13:11.380 or vakar street
00:13:13.160 we got two shows there
00:13:14.620 november
00:13:17.740 september 18th
00:13:19.620 oslo norway
00:13:20.640 at folk
00:13:21.680 at folk theater
00:13:23.200 folk theater
00:13:25.300 oh
00:13:26.480 folk theater
00:13:27.580 folk theater
00:13:29.020 uh
00:13:31.580 okay
00:13:32.260 and then
00:13:33.380 oh
00:13:34.020 and that's
00:13:34.600 918
00:13:35.680 917
00:13:37.020 stockholm
00:13:38.580 sweden
00:13:39.220 at china
00:13:40.720 theater
00:13:41.200 china theater
00:13:43.780 920
00:13:45.460 and 921
00:13:46.760 at london
00:13:48.440 london uk
00:13:49.180 london uk
00:13:50.220 at shepherd's bush
00:13:51.620 over there
00:13:52.180 and that's going to be
00:13:54.520 uh
00:13:54.860 we got some shows
00:13:55.480 over there
00:13:55.720 i think it's four shows
00:13:56.620 922
00:13:57.640 that's um
00:13:59.340 manchester uk
00:14:00.460 and that's uh
00:14:02.000 dance hall show
00:14:03.080 number one
00:14:03.980 and then
00:14:05.140 924
00:14:05.940 uh
00:14:07.060 2019
00:14:07.580 amsterdam
00:14:08.580 netherlands
00:14:09.320 at demir
00:14:10.300 art
00:14:10.640 i think that's how you say that
00:14:13.340 demir
00:14:13.780 vart
00:14:14.140 and demir
00:14:16.200 vart
00:14:16.600 dude
00:14:16.960 that's when
00:14:17.760 i mean that's an old thing
00:14:20.200 i remember when we was young
00:14:22.120 somebody told us you could uh
00:14:24.360 i guess this is a little profane
00:14:27.160 let me just say i'm i'm excited
00:14:29.040 oh also the pre-sale code for those dates
00:14:31.140 the the code is onward
00:14:32.840 o-n-w-a-r-d 1.00
00:14:34.540 and that
00:14:35.680 and that's the only way you can get those tickets on pre-sale
00:14:38.560 is the code onward
00:14:39.660 that way
00:14:40.500 that only
00:14:41.440 uh tpw listeners
00:14:43.280 um
00:14:44.240 can get them
00:14:44.940 and uh
00:14:45.880 or just people that are
00:14:46.800 in our world
00:14:47.680 you know i'll put
00:14:48.240 i'll post that on social medias as well
00:14:49.940 and
00:14:50.140 and only people that can
00:14:51.520 that are in our world
00:14:52.760 can get them
00:14:53.520 so we get first shot at it
00:14:55.400 so that's why they have that pre-sale code
00:14:57.280 because i said to the man
00:14:59.360 the man said
00:14:59.760 we want to do pre-sale code
00:15:00.820 i said what are we going to do about that
00:15:01.940 i said everybody have to remember
00:15:03.760 a magical word
00:15:04.700 to get something
00:15:05.460 you know
00:15:06.960 where are we
00:15:07.660 i mean is this
00:15:08.960 are we in a uh
00:15:09.940 a fable
00:15:10.560 are we in a
00:15:11.320 you know
00:15:12.860 are we in
00:15:14.160 um
00:15:15.120 you know
00:15:16.560 rompestiltskin
00:15:17.480 why does somebody have to remember
00:15:19.120 a magical word
00:15:19.980 to get something
00:15:20.680 is this the bridge
00:15:21.940 to terabithia
00:15:22.700 so i'm saying that
00:15:25.500 that's why
00:15:26.800 the pre-sale code
00:15:27.500 it makes you
00:15:27.940 sure you can access the tickets
00:15:29.420 and that ends on friday
00:15:31.020 at 10 a.m local time
00:15:32.460 in europe
00:15:33.180 european time
00:15:34.480 and uh
00:15:36.580 and so that's it
00:15:37.600 those are the
00:15:38.080 it starts tuesday
00:15:38.940 and goes to friday
00:15:39.880 and the code is onward
00:15:41.180 and thank you guys so much
00:15:42.280 for your support
00:15:42.720 i'm really
00:15:43.080 man i'm nervous
00:15:44.280 because like
00:15:45.200 dude it's
00:15:49.180 so you know
00:15:49.600 there's nothing
00:15:50.400 there's nothing
00:15:51.140 scarier to me
00:15:52.520 than going on
00:15:55.500 to a stage
00:15:56.460 where you don't know
00:15:57.960 if people are going to
00:15:58.760 get the way
00:15:59.500 the joke is
00:16:00.420 the jokes
00:16:01.000 or the humor
00:16:01.580 or whatever
00:16:02.060 and you have to
00:16:04.040 tell the jokes
00:16:04.820 because i tell stories
00:16:06.920 man if you ain't
00:16:07.440 on the beginning
00:16:07.940 of a story
00:16:08.620 you ain't just
00:16:10.100 gonna pop in
00:16:10.820 about seven minutes 1.00
00:16:11.620 into that bastard 1.00
00:16:12.460 so 1.00
00:16:14.540 but i'm grateful
00:16:16.480 and i'm happy
00:16:17.100 to be going there
00:16:17.920 and i'm happy
00:16:19.000 that you
00:16:19.380 that you guys
00:16:20.140 will be there
00:16:20.700 and uh
00:16:21.300 and thank you
00:16:22.060 so much
00:16:22.320 for everybody
00:16:22.620 to support
00:16:22.980 man
00:16:23.120 so many people
00:16:23.660 have bought
00:16:23.940 tickets to this
00:16:24.680 to the shows
00:16:25.560 around the u.s
00:16:26.340 and i'm so
00:16:27.640 grateful
00:16:27.940 man
00:16:28.180 i'm
00:16:28.380 i'm gonna
00:16:30.580 take some
00:16:30.860 time off
00:16:31.280 for myself
00:16:31.740 here in the
00:16:32.200 next couple
00:16:32.600 weeks
00:16:33.060 and do
00:16:34.960 less
00:16:35.420 some less
00:16:36.360 this past
00:16:36.880 weekends
00:16:37.300 we'll have
00:16:37.620 some
00:16:38.000 and um
00:16:39.220 we got
00:16:40.160 trick lung
00:16:40.620 mickey
00:16:40.900 coming in
00:16:41.560 everybody knows
00:16:42.760 him
00:16:42.960 he's cystic
00:16:43.500 fibrosis
00:16:44.160 survivor
00:16:44.900 and we
00:16:45.460 you know
00:16:46.220 you know
00:16:47.680 it was
00:16:48.060 i was fortunate
00:16:48.660 enough to meet
00:16:49.220 him
00:16:49.540 we were
00:16:50.260 we were fortunate
00:16:50.900 enough to meet
00:16:51.400 him uh
00:16:52.040 i think maybe
00:16:53.320 nine months
00:16:54.300 before
00:16:54.800 when he was on
00:16:55.760 transplant list
00:16:56.920 and then he got
00:16:58.120 them new hitters
00:16:58.900 you know
00:16:59.540 he got them
00:17:00.680 new
00:17:00.960 huff huff 0.80
00:17:02.140 nut sacks
00:17:02.840 into his chest
00:17:03.480 about one
00:17:04.440 year ago
00:17:05.020 so we're
00:17:05.500 celebrating the
00:17:06.100 one year
00:17:06.400 anniversary
00:17:06.840 by having
00:17:07.280 trick lung
00:17:07.780 mickey in
00:17:08.280 here
00:17:08.520 and he's
00:17:09.380 got those 1.00
00:17:09.700 new fucking 1.00
00:17:10.160 baby bags 1.00
00:17:11.000 you know
00:17:11.420 them new
00:17:12.160 whistle makers
00:17:12.880 he's got
00:17:13.200 new lungs
00:17:13.860 somebody died
00:17:15.400 and he got
00:17:15.780 the lungs
00:17:16.300 man
00:17:16.600 you know
00:17:19.200 somebody died
00:17:20.000 and now
00:17:20.460 and now
00:17:21.160 uh nikki 0.99
00:17:21.860 you know
00:17:22.620 mickey's
00:17:23.000 playing the 1.00
00:17:23.420 fucking bag 1.00
00:17:23.920 you know 1.00
00:17:24.260 mickey's
00:17:24.860 playing somebody
00:17:25.380 else's bagpipes
00:17:26.420 but that's the
00:17:27.680 system that's how
00:17:28.440 it goes
00:17:29.060 well that leads
00:17:30.720 me into this
00:17:31.300 man i'll say
00:17:31.880 this perfect
00:17:32.480 timing support
00:17:33.260 for this past
00:17:33.860 weekend comes
00:17:34.320 from manscaped
00:17:35.300 who is number
00:17:36.400 one in men's
00:17:37.400 below the belt
00:17:38.020 grooming
00:17:38.500 manscaped
00:17:39.800 offers precision
00:17:40.740 engineered tools
00:17:41.560 for manscaping
00:17:42.480 with the right
00:17:43.460 tool for the
00:17:44.140 job
00:17:44.600 and manscaping
00:17:46.700 i got their
00:17:47.200 package
00:17:47.600 they got that
00:17:48.260 2.0 kit
00:17:49.380 it features
00:17:49.980 that lawn
00:17:50.720 mower
00:17:51.100 trimmer
00:17:51.680 with that
00:17:52.520 skin safe
00:17:53.480 technology
00:17:54.240 and they got
00:17:55.860 them tools
00:17:56.400 where you
00:17:56.700 could really
00:17:57.080 you know
00:17:58.080 you could
00:17:58.400 un-junk 1.00
00:17:58.940 your junk 0.99
00:17:59.540 and un-funk 1.00
00:18:01.200 your skunk 0.99
00:18:01.860 you feel me 0.73
00:18:02.500 it's 100%
00:18:03.840 waterproof
00:18:04.300 they're shock
00:18:04.940 resistant
00:18:05.460 this trimmer
00:18:06.600 won't
00:18:06.960 nick or snag
00:18:08.000 your nuts
00:18:08.660 shout out to 0.75
00:18:09.860 premature nick
00:18:10.580 our producer 1.00
00:18:11.120 your balls 0.99
00:18:12.700 will thank you 0.99
00:18:13.620 and you can
00:18:14.720 get 20%
00:18:15.440 off that
00:18:15.760 manscaped
00:18:16.440 if it's
00:18:16.840 mother's day
00:18:17.340 but your
00:18:17.660 father's kind
00:18:18.260 of a little
00:18:18.780 bit of a 1.00
00:18:19.440 bitch 1.00
00:18:20.020 then get him 1.00
00:18:21.060 this
00:18:21.520 happy mother's
00:18:22.520 day dad
00:18:23.280 20% off
00:18:24.880 free shipping
00:18:25.380 and a free
00:18:25.760 travel bag
00:18:26.300 with code
00:18:26.740 theo
00:18:27.160 at manscaped
00:18:28.600 dot com
00:18:29.420 that's 20%
00:18:30.600 off with free
00:18:31.180 shipping
00:18:31.500 and a free
00:18:32.360 travel bag
00:18:33.160 at manscaped
00:18:34.780 dot com
00:18:35.580 and use code
00:18:36.560 theo
00:18:37.120 but mirvart
00:18:39.560 man we used
00:18:40.060 to do
00:18:40.440 so somebody
00:18:41.040 told me
00:18:41.520 when i was
00:18:41.940 young
00:18:42.400 you know
00:18:43.940 i remember
00:18:44.340 when i was
00:18:44.820 a kid
00:18:45.260 somebody told
00:18:45.920 us that
00:18:46.280 if you
00:18:46.840 this is a
00:18:48.960 little bit
00:18:49.360 grotesque
00:18:49.860 and i'm
00:18:50.080 sorry to
00:18:50.400 get like
00:18:50.760 this i
00:18:51.120 know it's
00:18:51.680 it could
00:18:52.160 be morning
00:18:52.580 when you're
00:18:52.820 listening
00:18:53.120 if you
00:18:54.740 fought you
00:18:55.480 know if
00:18:56.120 you did
00:18:56.520 body gas
00:18:57.320 if you did
00:18:57.820 gas out of
00:18:58.460 your body 0.92
00:18:58.920 out of your 1.00
00:18:59.300 butt 1.00
00:18:59.640 then uh 0.80
00:19:01.520 on a
00:19:02.060 mirror
00:19:02.420 that you
00:19:03.400 could see
00:19:04.000 it
00:19:04.260 you know
00:19:06.300 that in
00:19:06.640 regular
00:19:07.020 if you
00:19:07.700 just you
00:19:08.620 know did
00:19:08.980 body gas
00:19:09.640 out into
00:19:09.900 the air
00:19:10.180 you can't
00:19:10.560 see it
00:19:11.040 you know
00:19:12.760 you could
00:19:13.080 obviously
00:19:13.960 it has a
00:19:14.740 you know
00:19:15.640 of mostly
00:19:16.880 violent scent
00:19:17.960 every now
00:19:18.540 you know
00:19:18.820 every maybe
00:19:19.260 2,000 body
00:19:20.340 gases you'll
00:19:21.060 get one
00:19:21.440 that's really
00:19:22.060 you're like 0.99
00:19:23.100 damn they 0.99
00:19:23.640 should you 0.99
00:19:24.640 know make
00:19:24.940 a good
00:19:25.240 candle out
00:19:25.800 of that
00:19:26.040 one that's
00:19:26.640 you know
00:19:28.220 something you
00:19:28.760 know things
00:19:29.440 are going
00:19:29.760 well but
00:19:31.240 the other
00:19:31.500 1,999
00:19:32.700 attempts at
00:19:35.920 body gas you
00:19:36.820 get something
00:19:37.300 naughty you 0.55
00:19:37.960 know you
00:19:38.880 get that
00:19:39.300 you know
00:19:39.740 you just
00:19:40.920 get that
00:19:41.260 booty ghost
00:19:41.940 that's out
00:19:42.360 there that's
00:19:42.700 haunting people's
00:19:44.060 senses but
00:19:46.200 someone had
00:19:46.800 told us I
00:19:47.320 remember when I
00:19:47.680 was a kid
00:19:48.200 someone told us
00:19:51.660 maybe they just
00:19:52.180 wrote it on the
00:19:52.720 sidewalk with a
00:19:53.480 knife but
00:19:54.000 that if you
00:19:55.780 you know did
00:19:56.940 body gas on a
00:19:57.800 mirror if you
00:19:58.540 were sitting on
00:19:59.300 a mirror or
00:20:00.080 near a mirror
00:20:01.000 like with your 0.99
00:20:01.520 butt you know 0.99
00:20:02.240 stood on the
00:20:03.120 sink with your 0.99
00:20:03.800 butt against the 1.00
00:20:04.400 mirror and you
00:20:06.460 did a gas that
00:20:08.120 you could see
00:20:09.720 it then it
00:20:10.260 would take a
00:20:10.900 you know as
00:20:12.360 if it was a
00:20:12.880 ghost or
00:20:13.340 something I
00:20:13.700 guess that's
00:20:14.080 how we
00:20:14.320 thought oh I
00:20:14.880 could see it I
00:20:15.480 could see what's
00:20:16.100 you know and
00:20:17.960 so that was it
00:20:18.760 man we'd sit on
00:20:19.520 these mirrors you
00:20:20.240 know we got a
00:20:20.740 couple mirrors they
00:20:21.480 had an old lady
00:20:24.460 that lived I mean
00:20:26.840 everybody had this
00:20:27.580 old lady that 1.00
00:20:28.120 lived we had an
00:20:28.720 old lady probably 1.00
00:20:29.240 about two and a
00:20:29.700 half blocks away
00:20:30.380 and her house I
00:20:31.840 think burned down
00:20:32.580 at some point I
00:20:33.340 mean that usually
00:20:33.900 happens with a lot
00:20:34.640 of those older
00:20:35.120 women but 1.00
00:20:36.440 but before it
00:20:37.280 happened we go
00:20:38.000 over there and
00:20:39.320 she would give us
00:20:39.980 a you know a
00:20:40.500 little couple
00:20:40.860 dimes or
00:20:41.480 whatever to water
00:20:42.180 the plants and
00:20:42.940 do this and
00:20:43.500 that you know
00:20:44.040 look for the
00:20:44.560 cats and I'll
00:20:46.600 tell you this
00:20:47.100 honestly man
00:20:48.020 she she all you
00:20:51.960 know she she
00:20:52.760 only had probably
00:20:53.960 two cats but
00:20:56.760 she paid us to
00:20:57.520 find about nine
00:20:58.440 cats so we'd
00:21:00.040 take one of the
00:21:00.640 cats bring it in
00:21:01.540 there show it to
00:21:02.680 her she would you 0.96
00:21:03.340 know say its name
00:21:04.160 and pet it then
00:21:05.280 then it would we'd
00:21:06.260 let it go and
00:21:06.860 say okay we're
00:21:07.340 gonna find the
00:21:07.840 other one and
00:21:09.180 then we'd go find
00:21:09.960 the same this the
00:21:11.160 you know they
00:21:11.620 only had two so
00:21:12.200 we find the other
00:21:12.880 one bring it in and
00:21:14.160 just keep going back
00:21:15.120 and forth until she
00:21:16.060 thought she'd seen
00:21:16.800 them all but really
00:21:18.000 it was just two
00:21:18.620 cats who were
00:21:19.200 psyched you know 1.00
00:21:19.980 we were you know
00:21:22.840 the old uh the
00:21:25.260 old cat you know
00:21:26.680 cat switch game
00:21:27.780 well so we got you
00:21:32.520 know we so next
00:21:33.580 thing you know we
00:21:34.080 showed her all the
00:21:34.640 cats we got these
00:21:35.420 dimes whatever but
00:21:36.620 anyway she had some
00:21:37.600 nice mirrors so I
00:21:40.160 know we'd be over
00:21:41.040 there and once you
00:21:41.660 got the cats out of
00:21:42.460 the way she we can
00:21:43.100 hang out in her
00:21:43.600 house she didn't even
00:21:44.280 know we're in there
00:21:44.940 you know we climb on
00:21:46.280 the shelves and you
00:21:47.940 know look at books or
00:21:49.040 whatever look at little
00:21:49.960 trinkets and this and
00:21:50.900 that and she had nice 0.99
00:21:52.280 drawers heavy wood and
00:21:53.500 you pull open a heavy
00:21:54.300 wood drawer and you
00:21:55.120 smell wood you know and
00:21:56.380 it was it just had a
00:21:59.700 different experience you
00:22:01.020 know being over there
00:22:01.920 you know all of her
00:22:03.300 stuff felt kind of old
00:22:04.320 and mysterious bro you
00:22:06.260 know felt like you
00:22:06.960 could just open up a
00:22:08.420 can of peas or a can
00:22:10.000 of carrots at her 1.00
00:22:10.700 house and a damn 1.00
00:22:12.340 spirit would pop out 1.00
00:22:13.580 it had that kind of
00:22:15.160 uh that kind of
00:22:17.480 momentum was just
00:22:18.480 built into the
00:22:19.240 environment well
00:22:20.720 anyway so um 0.99
00:22:24.060 what am I fucking 0.98
00:22:27.020 telling oh man what 0.99
00:22:27.780 am I talking about
00:22:28.440 oh so she had these
00:22:30.440 nice mirrors big ones
00:22:31.880 that we could set on
00:22:32.500 the floor take them
00:22:33.340 off the wall set them
00:22:34.080 on the floor and you
00:22:35.200 do body you sit on 1.00
00:22:36.280 there with your butt 1.00
00:22:36.980 out do body gas and 0.94
00:22:39.140 look for the uh ghost
00:22:40.520 you know but we never
00:22:41.860 saw anything
00:22:42.600 you know we never saw
00:22:46.120 I mean people would
00:22:46.820 lie and say they saw
00:22:47.680 something but nobody
00:22:48.220 ever saw anything man
00:22:49.240 but that reminds me of
00:22:50.660 that mirror vart and
00:22:52.400 that's at the mirror
00:22:53.380 vart uh in
00:22:57.260 Amsterdam Netherlands
00:22:58.340 and that's September
00:22:59.800 24th and that's that
00:23:01.080 uh but yeah thank
00:23:02.740 everybody so much man
00:23:03.500 I'm overwhelmed at uh
00:23:04.480 you know the amount of
00:23:05.240 support uh people that
00:23:07.180 are going to come out
00:23:07.760 and see the shows just
00:23:09.040 you know man it just
00:23:12.800 really feels like a
00:23:13.500 dream come true in a
00:23:14.500 lot of ways um so
00:23:19.140 thank you thank you uh
00:23:21.080 very very much to
00:23:22.280 everyone and when they
00:23:23.940 came out of New York
00:23:24.580 City this weekend man
00:23:26.920 it was a wild time I
00:23:28.500 mean Carl Lentz
00:23:30.360 popped through uh the
00:23:32.480 pastor and he's going
00:23:33.980 to come and be a guest
00:23:34.720 at some point um we
00:23:38.320 had a father son pair
00:23:39.820 that came through that
00:23:40.840 had you know they
00:23:41.640 drove from about two
00:23:42.480 hours we had people
00:23:43.380 that drove from
00:23:43.960 Vermont people that
00:23:45.240 drove from Delaware
00:23:45.840 people that drove down
00:23:46.660 from Canada and came
00:23:48.960 in we had a young
00:23:50.920 man I put this thing
00:23:51.720 on my Instagram
00:23:52.200 giving me a beautiful
00:23:52.900 skateboard like Beyonce
00:23:55.280 you know like that
00:23:57.320 you know and they had
00:24:00.620 I mean just some really
00:24:02.540 nice gifts somebody gave
00:24:04.980 me a Daryl Strawberry
00:24:06.500 book really cool and
00:24:07.940 then a taxi because
00:24:09.700 everybody knows I do
00:24:10.420 that story um but let
00:24:12.940 me get into a little
00:24:13.680 bit of this episode man
00:24:14.720 while I still have my
00:24:15.480 hat on and while I'm
00:24:16.200 still feeling you know
00:24:17.240 you know like I'm
00:24:19.280 that comfort cat oh
00:24:22.220 a lot of cats in this
00:24:23.380 episode just realize
00:24:25.300 that yeah man we go to
00:24:27.740 that lady's house and
00:24:28.860 you know what I wonder
00:24:29.820 in hindsight maybe she
00:24:30.900 knew that she only had
00:24:32.080 not two cats you know
00:24:38.160 maybe she knew maybe
00:24:39.180 we thought that she 0.82
00:24:40.280 didn't have the
00:24:40.840 awareness but she did
00:24:42.040 and so that way we just
00:24:43.520 got to spend more time
00:24:44.560 over there
00:24:45.140 and they gave us
00:24:47.540 something to do maybe
00:24:48.420 she knew we didn't
00:24:49.200 have much to do you
00:24:50.300 know and she would do
00:24:52.960 that you know and I
00:24:56.040 remember she I remember
00:24:57.000 now actually she spent
00:24:58.020 she split out split a 1.00
00:24:59.440 can of them frank and
00:25:00.380 uh wieners you know
00:25:01.340 used to have these cans
00:25:02.760 bean and wieners they
00:25:05.200 used to have these cans
00:25:06.020 called uh bean and
00:25:07.120 wieners and it was a can
00:25:08.720 of beans and wiener and
00:25:10.240 they cut up half a wiener
00:25:11.340 in there and it looked
00:25:14.280 like they cut the
00:25:14.880 wiener with a spoon
00:25:15.720 because the edges of
00:25:16.560 the wiener cut they
00:25:17.580 weren't straight there
00:25:19.760 were those uh convex them
00:25:23.140 convex cuts you get that
00:25:24.600 wean you know usually you
00:25:26.240 get a cut a wiener it's you 0.96
00:25:28.280 know it's the the width of
00:25:29.780 the wing and then it's that
00:25:31.520 where the cuts are them
00:25:33.240 chops but on these big uh
00:25:36.120 uh we weenie ween bean ween
00:25:43.840 beaners on these ween and
00:25:45.480 beaners they had um the cut
00:25:48.480 the the cuts on the wiener
00:25:51.600 were you know convex or
00:25:55.080 something like you're trying
00:25:55.660 to see the moon you know
00:25:56.820 through glass but the uh 0.99
00:25:59.840 oh shit man what i'm 0.99
00:26:02.400 talking about but she 1.00
00:26:03.500 would cut open a can of
00:26:04.600 those and we'd have them
00:26:06.540 over there me and little
00:26:08.540 daniel be over there
00:26:09.480 having a man and i'll tell
00:26:11.740 you this about daniel man
00:26:13.020 people forget about him
00:26:14.140 and don't want to think
00:26:14.840 about him dude daniel was
00:26:17.100 up to no good man most of
00:26:21.040 the time but i'll say this
00:26:23.620 a lot of times they had
00:26:24.560 rumors going around this is
00:26:25.900 back when rumors was really
00:26:27.540 the most popular way to know
00:26:28.900 about stuff and these days
00:26:30.520 thanks to all the uh you
00:26:32.240 know mainstream media being 1.00
00:26:33.460 a bunch of dog shit it's 1.00
00:26:35.040 welcome back rumors so the 1.00
00:26:39.680 um you know daniel would get
00:26:42.360 in there and he uh he would
00:26:44.680 eat the when he'd eat you
00:26:45.680 know he'd always steal a
00:26:46.580 chunk of my ween out of the 0.97
00:26:48.460 uh out of my bean and
00:26:50.380 wieners you know and and and
00:26:54.960 in hindsight i remember a
00:26:57.460 couple times he got sick
00:26:58.580 because he he stole that
00:27:00.480 chunk see there's just two 0.94
00:27:02.720 sides this there's two sides
00:27:04.540 to everything you know he
00:27:06.700 stole that chunk and he got
00:27:07.820 sick and i didn't get sick
00:27:08.900 because i would just wait to
00:27:10.520 see how he did how he fared
00:27:12.600 after that chunk of frank and
00:27:14.720 then i would just bean around
00:27:16.060 him if he looked like he was
00:27:17.680 getting real sweaty halfway 1.00
00:27:19.640 into his own bowl i say damn 0.99
00:27:21.240 i'm you know you know you've 0.99
00:27:25.740 heard of frank sinatra well i'm
00:27:27.120 saying sayonara franks because
00:27:29.920 i'm saying bye bye to these
00:27:31.220 frank chunks to these you know
00:27:33.380 ween these ween cuts and i
00:27:35.660 wouldn't have them because
00:27:36.920 little daniel be over there
00:27:37.880 sweating dude and when he
00:27:40.120 sweat his shirt he he had this
00:27:42.500 like a i guess his shirt he had
00:27:46.060 maybe one of those constricting
00:27:47.300 shirts so when he got real
00:27:48.900 sweaty his shirt would get even
00:27:49.980 smaller but let's get into a
00:27:51.900 couple of calls man those
00:27:52.740 european dates are out thank
00:27:54.060 you know so much um a lot of
00:27:56.720 people have called in last week
00:27:57.920 i was talking about you know
00:27:59.680 father-son relationship and uh
00:28:02.580 man i got so many nice
00:28:04.580 responses and messages and just
00:28:07.380 wanted to say thank you uh just
00:28:09.120 thanks for you know just thanks
00:28:12.080 for not judging me while i think
00:28:13.200 about stuff um you know i
00:28:18.300 appreciate that like you know
00:28:20.740 that's why i don't like sometimes
00:28:22.240 it's hard to be in this world i
00:28:23.420 think for a lot of us because
00:28:24.740 we created an environment we
00:28:27.820 didn't the dark arts created an
00:28:30.940 environment where we can't even
00:28:33.220 think or feel or share sometimes
00:28:36.280 without being judged you know and
00:28:40.840 i'm not saying that i don't do that
00:28:42.060 sometimes we all do it but i'll be
00:28:45.240 damned if some if there's people 0.92
00:28:46.780 out there making a business out of 0.99
00:28:48.080 it uh man it makes me mad
00:28:52.060 um so but maybe inadvertently i do
00:28:58.620 you know like i we never know what
00:29:00.860 we do sometimes until we figure it
00:29:02.880 out but but i just want to say i get
00:29:05.640 a lot of nice just people that can
00:29:07.620 relate people that are sharing their
00:29:08.720 own stories with me and it just makes
00:29:10.200 me feel and then when i hear somebody
00:29:11.840 else's story or they're sharing
00:29:13.880 something man it makes me feel like a
00:29:15.860 human
00:29:18.080 because it makes me feel wow you
00:29:19.740 know i have feelings i care about
00:29:21.200 what this person's saying i have
00:29:24.080 feelings man it reminds me it reminds
00:29:28.300 me that i have feelings because the
00:29:32.080 feelings man this you know the sugar
00:29:34.080 lizard goes for whatever but whatever
00:29:40.620 that other animal is that feeling
00:29:42.320 animal
00:29:42.840 he's more like a sloth you know he's 0.97
00:29:47.660 easy you know he's around the surface 0.72
00:29:49.720 man but he gets scared to kind of peek
00:29:51.240 around sometime
00:29:51.980 maybe he is like a cat
00:29:54.320 maybe that feeling line
00:29:58.680 or that feline that feel line
00:30:02.320 yeah
00:30:03.080 that's what it is man
00:30:05.140 so if i don't go with that sugar
00:30:07.140 lizard then i can i can be patient
00:30:08.860 and i can have a little bit of that
00:30:09.780 feel line
00:30:10.520 feel what choice i make not just
00:30:13.320 not just that sugar lizard get
00:30:15.080 whatever
00:30:15.460 what is that a snicker a titty
00:30:16.880 whatever
00:30:17.420 you got to beware that sugar lizard 0.97
00:30:19.920 that first thing
00:30:20.820 and that's who all these advertisers
00:30:23.200 and all these
00:30:23.740 you know
00:30:24.600 all those bulls that's who they 1.00
00:30:26.060 selling to
00:30:26.580 they selling to that sugar lizard 0.92
00:30:28.240 oh you got a dime let me set that
00:30:30.140 right over there
00:30:30.880 what's that a twinkie 0.97
00:30:32.400 what's that a nipple 1.00
00:30:33.960 what's that a fake uh 0.90
00:30:36.520 you know
00:30:37.660 uh fake
00:30:39.820 neck you know
00:30:41.100 neck installment or whatever
00:30:42.800 fake titty
00:30:43.440 they sell you all of that
00:30:45.800 set it right there
00:30:46.460 that's what you need
00:30:47.300 get that let that sugar lizard 1.00
00:30:49.820 bites whatever
00:30:50.480 first thing out there
00:30:51.580 you when you when you let that
00:30:55.580 when you what just wait
00:30:56.500 don't sugar don't don't don't sugar
00:30:58.380 you can sugar you can feel the sugar
00:31:00.360 don't lizard 1.00
00:31:01.020 don't let that fucking little 1.00
00:31:03.080 reptile rep 1.00
00:31:04.160 don't let him rep you
00:31:05.760 i'll wait back
00:31:08.220 i'll try and wait back
00:31:11.620 let that feel line
00:31:14.040 what do i feel
00:31:15.540 what do i really need to do for me
00:31:17.580 right now
00:31:18.500 to be okay
00:31:20.240 what do i really need to do
00:31:27.740 right now to be okay
00:31:28.720 to really be okay
00:31:29.880 and that feel line man i notice
00:31:34.880 whenever you know people come up
00:31:36.320 and are accepting
00:31:36.920 and you know share
00:31:37.960 or just
00:31:38.800 you know i'm just grateful to have
00:31:40.060 an environment here where we can
00:31:41.360 share stuff and not feel judged
00:31:42.960 and maybe there are people out there
00:31:44.620 that judge
00:31:44.980 and sometimes look man
00:31:46.020 i'll be the first to tell you
00:31:47.180 sometimes i'm a real
00:31:48.220 you know
00:31:49.480 sometimes i'm way too caught up
00:31:51.180 in my feelings
00:31:51.720 and i can't get out of it
00:31:52.960 you know
00:31:54.820 and that
00:31:55.140 look that's where i am right now
00:31:56.960 but i also you know
00:31:59.520 i mean
00:32:00.000 i i try to
00:32:01.220 i try to be out there
00:32:02.520 and get past some of this stuff
00:32:04.080 and i feel a lot better
00:32:06.740 than i used to
00:32:07.460 you know
00:32:07.660 i got a lot more tools
00:32:08.560 but every now and then
00:32:09.580 your feelings flare up
00:32:11.400 and that's okay
00:32:14.320 i mean sometimes we go through
00:32:17.160 episodes we don't even talk
00:32:17.960 about anything like that
00:32:18.880 but uh
00:32:20.540 but i just want to say
00:32:22.380 i'm grateful to have that
00:32:23.020 sort of environment here
00:32:23.980 where people don't always
00:32:25.320 just sugar lizard
00:32:26.060 oh look at this love
00:32:27.200 yes they're talking about
00:32:28.300 his feelings again
00:32:29.580 uh
00:32:32.380 because i think we have a world
00:32:33.960 that don't let us feel enough
00:32:35.180 that don't let us explore enough
00:32:36.700 you know
00:32:37.640 that don't let us just
00:32:38.720 be brave to share
00:32:40.120 and to say
00:32:40.780 you know
00:32:42.200 and we don't do that here
00:32:43.240 you know
00:32:44.760 we don't
00:32:45.180 i mean i hear this
00:32:46.880 in a lot of different rooms
00:32:47.780 but we don't hear our
00:32:48.480 we don't
00:32:48.900 we don't
00:32:49.420 we don't kill our wounded
00:32:50.540 this ain't hollywood
00:32:53.160 um
00:32:55.760 whatever
00:32:57.120 i don't know what i'm talking about now
00:32:58.340 i'm just getting weird
00:32:58.940 uh
00:32:59.420 okay let's get into a couple of calls man
00:33:00.880 thank you guys so much for the calls
00:33:02.360 thank you guys so much for
00:33:03.580 hitting the hotline
00:33:04.560 as always
00:33:04.920 985-664-9503
00:33:07.900 um
00:33:08.860 a lot of cities have new
00:33:10.720 uh
00:33:11.520 tickets that went on sale
00:33:12.460 for the regular shows
00:33:13.580 so you could check your city
00:33:15.060 i think vancouver has a new show
00:33:17.280 now on wednesday night up there
00:33:18.980 um
00:33:20.020 austin we added a show
00:33:21.880 i believe sacramento
00:33:23.360 we added a show
00:33:24.420 uh
00:33:25.320 so there's other shows
00:33:26.280 in the in the u.s.
00:33:27.160 that have new ones
00:33:27.900 um
00:33:29.000 so
00:33:29.940 thank you so much
00:33:31.300 for your uh
00:33:32.460 support
00:33:32.860 i also want to say
00:33:34.520 if you want to support the podcast 0.97
00:33:35.840 get your crotch well 0.98
00:33:38.080 and get your crotch warm 0.99
00:33:40.000 you know 0.98
00:33:41.540 sometimes i need that extra
00:33:42.580 that extra protection
00:33:43.800 that extra softness
00:33:44.680 by my jump
00:33:45.360 you know
00:33:46.920 you spend about 90%
00:33:48.100 of your life
00:33:48.580 in your underwear
00:33:49.200 that's crazy isn't it
00:33:50.400 think about that
00:33:51.200 okay
00:33:53.180 you thought about it
00:33:54.360 don't you think
00:33:55.220 you owe it to yourself
00:33:56.220 to make sure
00:33:57.200 you're wearing them
00:33:57.900 softest undies in town 0.95
00:33:59.360 don't you don't you want
00:34:01.200 women or men
00:34:02.520 if you also have time
00:34:03.700 that you do stuff
00:34:05.040 with men
00:34:05.880 or prefer that
00:34:07.480 that you want that women 0.67
00:34:09.820 or that man
00:34:10.820 to say 1.00
00:34:11.240 damn 0.99
00:34:12.020 you know 0.99
00:34:13.760 he
00:34:14.000 you know
00:34:15.240 he
00:34:16.700 you know
00:34:17.340 he
00:34:17.740 he had kind of
00:34:18.920 small wiener
00:34:19.780 but he had the softest 0.69
00:34:20.860 undies in town
00:34:21.680 that's what you want
00:34:22.460 them to say
00:34:23.100 they're so soft
00:34:25.820 you don't even know
00:34:26.280 you had them on
00:34:26.820 dude the other day
00:34:27.460 I thought I was stripping
00:34:28.480 I thought I had
00:34:29.780 I thought I was stripping
00:34:30.980 right
00:34:31.280 I had a dream
00:34:32.560 I was in a strip club
00:34:33.680 I think I'm on the pole 0.99
00:34:35.000 I'm butt naked
00:34:35.740 nobody's giving me any money
00:34:36.980 because I had on me undies
00:34:38.560 so soft
00:34:39.460 you don't notice them
00:34:40.240 they got all kind of
00:34:41.580 different prints
00:34:42.160 and styles
00:34:42.720 little you know
00:34:43.700 doodads
00:34:44.320 and this and that
00:34:45.140 jangle bell
00:34:46.080 christmas shape
00:34:47.760 hearts
00:34:48.240 whatever
00:34:48.680 and they got matching stuff
00:34:50.000 for you and the ladies
00:34:50.980 you know
00:34:52.340 that way maybe
00:34:53.340 you both
00:34:53.680 you guys both decide
00:34:54.700 okay
00:34:55.040 if we match tonight 0.84
00:34:56.420 we do a little bit of sexual
00:34:57.680 and if we don't match 0.67
00:34:59.120 then we do it tomorrow night
00:35:00.220 that way you leave it up
00:35:01.060 to the gods
00:35:01.700 men can now try
00:35:04.000 the new boxer brief
00:35:04.920 with the fly in them
00:35:05.940 which is the same great cut
00:35:07.080 as boxer brief
00:35:07.900 but now with an added option
00:35:09.440 for guys who prefer
00:35:10.260 to go through the gate
00:35:11.260 verse over the fence
00:35:12.780 it's the go-to
00:35:14.380 for the softest
00:35:15.180 lounge wear
00:35:16.220 on the planet
00:35:16.800 me undies
00:35:17.320 got them lounge
00:35:18.140 wears
00:35:19.160 me undies
00:35:20.300 has a great offer
00:35:21.120 for TPW listeners
00:35:22.760 when you order
00:35:24.740 me undies
00:35:25.280 you get 15% off
00:35:26.560 and free shipping
00:35:28.240 that's a no-brainer
00:35:29.720 get 15% off a pair
00:35:31.180 of the most comfortable
00:35:32.040 undies you will ever
00:35:32.860 put on
00:35:33.640 15% off your first pair
00:35:36.260 free shipping
00:35:36.840 and 100% satisfaction
00:35:38.040 guarantee
00:35:39.020 go to
00:35:39.580 meundies.com
00:35:41.080 slash
00:35:41.640 weekend
00:35:42.600 and again
00:35:44.100 that's
00:35:44.420 meundies.com
00:35:45.920 slash weekend
00:35:46.780 and I think
00:35:47.560 if you just get
00:35:48.040 individual pairs
00:35:48.820 you may get
00:35:49.280 50% off all of them
00:35:50.340 you may
00:35:50.880 that's not definite
00:35:52.080 but I think
00:35:52.640 that you do
00:35:53.220 but try them out
00:35:55.540 meundies.com
00:35:56.540 slash weekend
00:35:57.200 also Mother's Day
00:35:59.100 is coming up
00:35:59.580 it's this week
00:36:00.220 so do something now
00:36:01.520 take that action now
00:36:03.280 get those
00:36:05.520 Mother Nature
00:36:06.480 hitters
00:36:07.000 for your mother
00:36:07.680 today's episode
00:36:09.120 is brought to you
00:36:09.680 by Pro Flowers
00:36:10.980 Mother's Day
00:36:11.980 is coming up
00:36:12.700 and don't be that boy
00:36:14.500 that's you know
00:36:15.140 drawing your mom
00:36:16.000 something in the other room
00:36:17.100 with a piece of
00:36:18.320 you know
00:36:18.680 printer paper
00:36:19.760 and a black sharpie
00:36:21.900 at the last minute
00:36:22.680 love you mom
00:36:23.680 I owe you
00:36:25.120 don't do that
00:36:25.920 you know
00:36:27.620 I've had a lot
00:36:28.660 of special moms
00:36:29.380 in my life
00:36:29.940 over the years
00:36:30.800 you know
00:36:31.640 my own mother
00:36:32.420 you know
00:36:34.600 a woman named
00:36:35.280 Belinda 0.90
00:36:36.120 that I know
00:36:36.600 cared about me
00:36:37.200 a lot
00:36:37.460 when I was real young
00:36:38.260 she was a babysitter
00:36:39.120 but she was very motherly
00:36:40.200 one of my kindergarten
00:36:42.280 teachers
00:36:42.600 Miss Pam
00:36:43.100 one of my first teachers
00:36:43.880 Miss Connaughton
00:36:44.660 who else
00:36:47.980 Mr. Alder
00:36:48.640 he was almost like
00:36:49.300 a mother to me
00:36:49.820 he was a tender man
00:36:51.660 who else
00:36:53.280 Miss Trudy
00:36:57.220 Miss Wendy
00:36:58.360 Miss Frankie
00:36:59.580 you know
00:37:00.900 Miss Linda
00:37:02.500 you know
00:37:03.920 one of my best friends
00:37:04.960 Ryan
00:37:05.280 when I was
00:37:05.760 in college
00:37:06.840 he passed away
00:37:07.660 and his mother
00:37:08.240 and I
00:37:08.460 have been friends
00:37:08.960 since
00:37:09.320 and she just 0.97
00:37:09.780 got married
00:37:10.300 and God bless them
00:37:11.180 bless her heart 0.97
00:37:12.960 man
00:37:13.240 beautiful lady 0.78
00:37:13.980 but anyway
00:37:14.780 those are all women 0.97
00:37:15.560 that I could get
00:37:16.140 something special for
00:37:16.900 and they wouldn't
00:37:17.320 think anything of it
00:37:18.380 Pro Flowers
00:37:20.320 lets you choose
00:37:20.980 from a variety
00:37:21.840 of bouquets
00:37:22.580 and unique vases
00:37:24.080 that suit every mom's 0.99
00:37:25.780 lifestyle
00:37:26.220 your mom likes to do
00:37:27.340 guns and everything
00:37:28.120 she's in the army
00:37:28.840 get that grenade launcher
00:37:30.580 vase
00:37:31.200 with a couple of little
00:37:32.660 you know
00:37:33.800 florals in it
00:37:35.040 then you simply
00:37:36.740 select the delivery
00:37:37.840 date you want
00:37:38.540 pick out the bouquet
00:37:39.360 pick out the vase
00:37:40.420 Pro Flowers
00:37:41.900 carefully packages
00:37:42.860 your flowers
00:37:43.620 and delivers them
00:37:45.060 fresh from the farm
00:37:46.860 these flowers
00:37:48.480 ain't coming
00:37:48.880 from some trap
00:37:49.760 house
00:37:50.060 they ain't gonna
00:37:50.500 have you know
00:37:51.160 a little bit
00:37:51.900 of coke dust
00:37:52.680 on a petal
00:37:53.420 you know
00:37:54.360 one of the
00:37:54.860 you know
00:37:55.400 one of the orchids
00:37:56.200 ain't gonna be 0.99
00:37:56.720 fucking addicted 0.99
00:37:57.740 to opioids 1.00
00:37:58.540 one of them
00:37:59.740 opi orchids
00:38:00.660 you know
00:38:01.640 he's over there
00:38:02.360 you know
00:38:02.720 and he
00:38:03.020 you know
00:38:03.360 he's beautiful
00:38:03.960 but he's also 1.00
00:38:04.680 fucking 0.99
00:38:05.220 you know 1.00
00:38:06.820 he's stuffing
00:38:07.740 things in his own
00:38:08.540 stem hole
00:38:09.280 you know
00:38:09.900 them pills
00:38:10.880 them hitters
00:38:11.560 them fentanyls 0.78
00:38:12.480 your mother
00:38:15.060 will love it
00:38:15.540 right now
00:38:15.920 get one dozen
00:38:16.860 assorted roses
00:38:17.820 for $19.99
00:38:18.920 and you can
00:38:20.000 double the roses
00:38:20.820 and get a premium
00:38:21.640 vase
00:38:22.360 for just $9.99
00:38:23.820 more
00:38:24.440 visit
00:38:25.600 proflowers.com
00:38:27.580 click the microphone
00:38:29.220 in the upper right
00:38:29.920 corner
00:38:30.260 and enter the code
00:38:31.520 weekend
00:38:32.180 that's
00:38:33.220 proflowers.com
00:38:34.500 click the microphone
00:38:35.440 and the code
00:38:36.480 is weekend
00:38:37.480 mother's day
00:38:38.560 is May 12th
00:38:40.040 so don't wait
00:38:40.900 order like a pro
00:38:41.680 and get this amazing
00:38:42.480 rose deal
00:38:43.120 to thank all the
00:38:43.800 moms in your life 1.00
00:38:44.680 wow that's pretty
00:38:46.640 cool
00:38:46.900 and don't forget
00:38:48.580 man don't forget
00:38:49.180 to thank those
00:38:49.700 mothers
00:38:50.020 and I want to
00:38:51.200 thank actually
00:38:51.720 right now
00:38:52.240 you know
00:38:53.220 all our
00:38:53.560 patreoners
00:38:54.360 sorry I feel
00:38:56.740 like I'm talking
00:38:57.240 too much
00:38:57.760 sometimes I just
00:38:59.240 get kind of
00:38:59.680 going and I feel
00:39:00.320 like I'm talking
00:39:00.820 too much
00:39:01.220 sometimes
00:39:01.720 you know
00:39:04.160 the people
00:39:04.460 that support
00:39:04.880 our patreoners
00:39:05.580 that's how
00:39:05.940 we are able
00:39:06.860 to do nice
00:39:07.420 things for
00:39:08.220 the single
00:39:09.600 moms
00:39:10.000 and get
00:39:10.900 that cash
00:39:11.480 where we
00:39:11.720 hide the
00:39:12.140 you know
00:39:12.640 we hide
00:39:12.940 money in
00:39:13.320 the hotel
00:39:13.740 room for
00:39:14.080 the cleaning
00:39:14.460 ladies 0.99
00:39:14.840 and those
00:39:16.860 things are on
00:39:17.260 the youtube
00:39:17.660 but that's
00:39:19.160 what our
00:39:19.380 patreon goes
00:39:20.020 to
00:39:20.320 you know
00:39:21.040 our patreon
00:39:21.420 isn't really
00:39:21.840 big
00:39:22.060 a lot of
00:39:22.400 people run
00:39:22.880 their whole
00:39:23.360 you know
00:39:24.200 podcast off
00:39:24.800 their patreon
00:39:25.280 we don't do
00:39:25.780 that here
00:39:26.260 you know
00:39:27.040 and not
00:39:27.300 that and
00:39:27.880 that's okay
00:39:28.460 no shade
00:39:29.180 on anybody's
00:39:29.900 but how we
00:39:31.380 find things
00:39:32.660 to do
00:39:33.740 you know
00:39:35.860 outreach and
00:39:36.580 stuff is
00:39:37.440 through our
00:39:37.740 patreon
00:39:38.120 and
00:39:39.500 I just
00:39:40.100 want to
00:39:40.340 say that
00:39:41.040 we are
00:39:41.480 going to
00:39:41.980 reach out
00:39:42.440 to all
00:39:42.780 the single
00:39:43.160 moms
00:39:43.520 that we
00:39:44.420 have
00:39:44.960 that we
00:39:46.620 brought out
00:39:47.080 to shows
00:39:47.640 over the
00:39:48.100 past year
00:39:48.860 year and a
00:39:49.340 half
00:39:49.680 and we're
00:39:50.360 going to
00:39:50.540 send all
00:39:51.000 of them
00:39:51.260 some
00:39:51.620 flowers
00:39:52.820 so I
00:39:55.540 just thought
00:39:55.860 of that
00:39:56.240 but
00:39:56.820 but we're
00:39:59.380 going to do
00:39:59.620 that so
00:40:00.260 that's
00:40:00.500 something our
00:40:00.800 patreon is
00:40:01.220 going to do
00:40:01.480 so if you
00:40:01.880 are a
00:40:02.220 patreon
00:40:02.580 supporter
00:40:03.080 just know
00:40:03.880 that already
00:40:04.560 this weekend
00:40:05.700 you bought
00:40:06.260 flowers for
00:40:07.120 about 12
00:40:07.560 different single
00:40:08.100 moms around
00:40:08.560 America
00:40:09.000 and the
00:40:10.480 cards they
00:40:10.980 don't say
00:40:11.280 this from
00:40:11.840 me it
00:40:12.200 says this
00:40:12.560 from us
00:40:13.180 and so
00:40:15.440 I hope you
00:40:15.780 feel good
00:40:16.120 about that
00:40:16.440 because I
00:40:16.720 do
00:40:16.960 you know
00:40:18.040 I do
00:40:18.520 you know
00:40:21.620 I was
00:40:21.760 thinking the
00:40:22.080 other day
00:40:22.420 that when
00:40:22.880 we look at
00:40:23.420 our mother
00:40:24.040 and this
00:40:24.880 has been on
00:40:25.120 my mind
00:40:25.460 a lot
00:40:25.940 when we
00:40:26.640 look at
00:40:26.960 our mom
00:40:27.540 if you
00:40:28.140 are raised
00:40:28.820 by a single
00:40:29.400 parent
00:40:29.920 as a child
00:40:31.580 you look at
00:40:32.000 that parent
00:40:32.520 and you
00:40:34.480 hold them
00:40:35.120 accountable
00:40:35.460 for
00:40:35.820 motherly
00:40:37.100 stuff
00:40:37.380 and fatherly
00:40:38.360 stuff
00:40:38.640 you don't
00:40:38.920 even realize
00:40:39.540 it
00:40:39.860 because you
00:40:40.360 need it
00:40:40.700 all
00:40:41.000 you need
00:40:41.860 it all
00:40:42.160 as a child
00:40:42.740 and we
00:40:44.220 hold our
00:40:45.000 mom accountable
00:40:45.720 for fatherly
00:40:46.540 ways
00:40:47.000 and not only
00:40:47.920 that but then
00:40:48.380 the mother
00:40:48.800 also has to
00:40:49.640 be a father
00:40:50.280 and it gets
00:40:52.080 really jumbly
00:40:52.900 man
00:40:53.280 for me it
00:40:53.940 did anyway
00:40:54.540 you know
00:40:55.880 I'm sorry
00:40:56.260 for me it
00:40:57.120 got jumbly
00:40:57.780 and only now
00:40:59.520 am I able to
00:41:00.040 kind of look
00:41:00.480 through some
00:41:00.920 of that
00:41:01.240 and
00:41:01.500 and start
00:41:02.640 to be able
00:41:03.020 to sort
00:41:03.420 it out
00:41:03.720 and wonder
00:41:04.060 well why
00:41:04.520 do I
00:41:04.900 why this
00:41:05.980 and why
00:41:06.320 that
00:41:06.740 you know
00:41:08.240 am I
00:41:09.240 holding my
00:41:09.680 mother
00:41:09.940 accountable
00:41:10.360 for things
00:41:11.480 that
00:41:11.820 that
00:41:13.900 a father
00:41:14.820 should have
00:41:15.100 been there
00:41:15.320 for
00:41:15.460 am I
00:41:15.660 holding my
00:41:16.020 father
00:41:16.400 for things
00:41:17.080 that a
00:41:17.320 mother
00:41:17.480 should have
00:41:17.760 been there
00:41:18.040 for
00:41:18.340 and not
00:41:19.720 even
00:41:19.900 know
00:41:20.140 and not
00:41:20.400 even
00:41:20.580 realizing
00:41:21.040 it
00:41:21.360 but
00:41:22.920 mother's
00:41:23.260 day is
00:41:23.460 a great
00:41:23.740 opportunity
00:41:24.140 to reconnect
00:41:24.640 with somebody
00:41:25.920 that you
00:41:26.240 care about
00:41:26.860 so
00:41:29.300 from
00:41:30.340 me
00:41:31.440 to all
00:41:31.660 the single
00:41:31.940 moms
00:41:32.180 out there
00:41:32.620 we love
00:41:34.140 you guys
00:41:34.640 and thank you
00:41:35.380 for all the
00:41:35.700 hard work
00:41:36.040 that you
00:41:36.360 do
00:41:36.600 and we
00:41:37.300 know
00:41:37.440 it's not
00:41:37.800 easy
00:41:38.040 sometimes
00:41:38.520 you know
00:41:39.300 I can only
00:41:39.680 imagine
00:41:40.020 if your
00:41:40.340 husband
00:41:40.640 or something
00:41:41.140 whoever
00:41:41.420 created this
00:41:42.180 child
00:41:42.480 with you
00:41:43.000 left you
00:41:44.380 and men
00:41:44.820 too
00:41:45.120 you know
00:41:45.900 if whoever
00:41:46.240 created that
00:41:47.160 child with you
00:41:47.760 left
00:41:48.200 and left you
00:41:49.760 to care
00:41:50.120 about them
00:41:50.640 man
00:41:51.860 there's got
00:41:52.220 to be
00:41:52.440 an anger
00:41:53.400 there
00:41:53.660 and angst
00:41:54.380 you know
00:41:56.180 that man
00:41:58.420 they didn't
00:41:58.700 even care
00:41:59.060 about it
00:41:59.440 enough
00:41:59.840 about you
00:42:00.300 to stay
00:42:00.720 in this
00:42:01.180 they didn't
00:42:01.440 care
00:42:01.580 enough
00:42:01.840 about the
00:42:02.160 child
00:42:02.420 to really
00:42:02.700 stay
00:42:03.000 in it
00:42:03.360 or to
00:42:03.580 help
00:42:03.860 and then
00:42:05.660 you have
00:42:05.920 to be
00:42:06.080 even stronger
00:42:06.620 and not
00:42:07.040 tell the
00:42:07.440 kid that
00:42:07.820 you can't
00:42:08.400 you can't
00:42:09.240 you can't
00:42:09.940 really
00:42:10.100 bastardize 1.00
00:42:10.880 that other
00:42:11.280 parent
00:42:11.720 because
00:42:13.480 it's
00:42:14.080 so I'm
00:42:14.580 sure
00:42:14.760 just a lot
00:42:15.440 of levels
00:42:15.880 going on
00:42:16.360 I'm not
00:42:16.660 in that
00:42:16.960 space
00:42:17.300 but I can
00:42:17.680 only imagine
00:42:18.400 what it's
00:42:18.800 like
00:42:19.160 you know
00:42:22.060 but
00:42:24.360 man
00:42:25.500 what a
00:42:25.760 beautiful
00:42:25.980 job
00:42:26.480 what else
00:42:31.460 oh
00:42:32.200 so I got
00:42:32.940 a couple
00:42:33.140 Patreon
00:42:33.480 questions
00:42:33.900 that came
00:42:34.300 in
00:42:34.540 so
00:42:34.920 these
00:42:35.500 are
00:42:36.200 Victor
00:42:39.800 S.
00:42:40.780 Johnson
00:42:41.100 the second
00:42:41.640 asked
00:42:42.140 in a previous
00:42:42.700 episode
00:42:43.040 you mentioned
00:42:43.400 you don't
00:42:43.660 feel a sense
00:42:44.060 of community
00:42:44.560 out in Los
00:42:45.000 Angeles
00:42:45.260 has that
00:42:45.660 changed
00:42:46.080 at all
00:42:46.540 you know
00:42:47.920 what
00:42:48.160 since
00:42:48.460 podcasting
00:42:49.180 it has
00:42:49.460 changed
00:42:49.840 I've kind
00:42:50.180 of built
00:42:50.460 my own
00:42:50.780 community
00:42:51.220 a little
00:42:51.560 bit
00:42:51.700 or not
00:42:52.000 we've
00:42:53.180 built
00:42:53.340 a community
00:42:53.920 and also
00:42:55.140 since I
00:42:55.620 got into
00:42:56.500 12 step
00:42:59.940 programs
00:43:00.540 since I
00:43:02.020 got into
00:43:02.360 that sort
00:43:02.780 of thing
00:43:03.160 for me
00:43:03.720 I have
00:43:04.160 much more
00:43:04.500 of a sense
00:43:04.820 of community
00:43:05.320 I have
00:43:05.880 people every
00:43:06.240 day now
00:43:06.560 that I can
00:43:06.880 call and
00:43:07.260 reach out
00:43:07.660 to
00:43:07.940 that are
00:43:09.020 reaching out
00:43:09.420 to me
00:43:09.900 you know
00:43:10.740 I have
00:43:11.000 meetings
00:43:11.280 that I
00:43:11.500 go to
00:43:11.900 or I
00:43:12.120 meet up
00:43:12.380 with
00:43:12.520 others
00:43:12.960 so there
00:43:13.980 has been
00:43:14.240 a sense
00:43:14.520 of community
00:43:14.960 there
00:43:15.420 at the
00:43:16.620 comedy store
00:43:17.300 that's
00:43:17.920 become a
00:43:18.340 sense
00:43:18.560 of community
00:43:19.280 it's just
00:43:20.300 taking a lot
00:43:20.860 longer
00:43:21.180 to find
00:43:21.780 and I
00:43:26.920 do think
00:43:27.340 also
00:43:27.800 that
00:43:28.680 LA to me
00:43:31.100 just feels
00:43:31.500 more and more
00:43:32.020 like an
00:43:32.320 airport
00:43:32.600 it feels
00:43:33.040 like
00:43:33.300 like an
00:43:34.500 international
00:43:35.000 airport
00:43:35.620 even all
00:43:36.340 the way
00:43:36.580 from when
00:43:36.860 you leave
00:43:37.320 when you
00:43:37.740 leave the
00:43:38.080 airport
00:43:38.400 at LAX
00:43:39.320 it still
00:43:40.380 feels like
00:43:40.820 an airport
00:43:41.280 like the
00:43:42.520 whole time
00:43:42.900 I'm here
00:43:43.160 whether I'm
00:43:43.620 at home
00:43:44.160 at work
00:43:44.940 wherever
00:43:45.400 it all
00:43:46.080 feels like
00:43:46.440 a big
00:43:46.760 extension
00:43:47.400 of the
00:43:47.840 airport
00:43:48.280 so you
00:43:49.540 know that
00:43:49.800 feeling
00:43:50.120 you have
00:43:50.360 when you're
00:43:50.580 in an
00:43:50.800 airport
00:43:51.160 you know
00:43:53.220 people are
00:43:53.900 passing
00:43:54.360 and you're
00:43:54.680 seeing them
00:43:55.160 and you're
00:43:55.460 oh yeah
00:43:56.340 let's do
00:43:56.760 this
00:43:56.980 but everybody's
00:43:58.360 just taking
00:43:58.800 off
00:43:59.180 everybody's
00:44:00.220 coming back
00:44:00.840 or taking
00:44:01.260 that's what
00:44:02.160 LA always
00:44:02.640 feels like
00:44:02.960 to me
00:44:03.180 everywhere
00:44:03.600 so I
00:44:05.420 think within
00:44:05.860 that space
00:44:06.360 it's hard
00:44:06.720 to have a
00:44:06.980 sense of
00:44:07.220 community
00:44:07.560 when there's
00:44:07.980 just so
00:44:08.460 much
00:44:08.900 motion
00:44:09.900 going on
00:44:10.620 but I'm
00:44:12.080 grateful
00:44:12.380 you know
00:44:12.760 I got
00:44:13.180 guys like
00:44:13.600 Brennan
00:44:13.880 Shial 0.94
00:44:14.260 I got
00:44:14.580 producer
00:44:16.220 Nick
00:44:16.740 you know
00:44:18.640 I got
00:44:18.840 little
00:44:19.060 Gianni
00:44:19.820 who's
00:44:21.260 you know
00:44:22.340 the
00:44:22.760 you know
00:44:23.860 the movie
00:44:24.480 star
00:44:24.740 twink
00:44:25.240 he's
00:44:25.560 you know
00:44:25.960 we just
00:44:26.980 got
00:44:27.240 you know
00:44:27.620 there's a
00:44:28.520 group
00:44:28.800 that I
00:44:29.840 have
00:44:30.140 yeah
00:44:30.320 so it's
00:44:30.580 gotten
00:44:30.720 better
00:44:31.000 that's
00:44:31.500 the short
00:44:31.860 answer
00:44:32.160 but thank
00:44:33.080 you for
00:44:33.340 the question
00:44:33.760 that's
00:44:33.960 from our
00:44:34.220 patreon
00:44:34.580 supporter
00:44:35.040 Victor
00:44:35.400 Johnson
00:44:35.920 let me
00:44:40.140 see
00:44:40.540 what else
00:44:41.560 Angel
00:44:45.400 Perez
00:44:46.220 said
00:44:47.360 your comedy
00:44:47.800 is always
00:44:48.100 so creatively
00:44:48.840 descriptive
00:44:49.580 have you
00:44:50.600 ever written
00:44:50.980 any short
00:44:51.440 stories or
00:44:51.880 things that
00:44:52.280 aren't
00:44:52.520 comedy
00:44:52.960 yeah
00:44:54.200 yeah I
00:44:55.860 have
00:44:56.240 you know
00:44:57.240 you know
00:45:00.320 I've tried to
00:45:00.620 get some books
00:45:01.020 published over
00:45:01.500 the years
00:45:01.680 I haven't
00:45:01.900 tried in a
00:45:02.300 while
00:45:02.680 just about
00:45:05.020 growing up
00:45:06.300 you know
00:45:08.660 one fiction
00:45:09.320 and one
00:45:09.620 nonfiction
00:45:10.160 one just
00:45:11.200 like growing
00:45:11.620 up and
00:45:11.960 just how
00:45:12.280 fear kind
00:45:12.880 of ran
00:45:13.160 a lot
00:45:13.400 of my
00:45:13.620 life
00:45:14.000 and just
00:45:15.080 how
00:45:15.460 you know
00:45:17.680 the first
00:45:18.080 memories I
00:45:18.560 have are
00:45:18.920 just of
00:45:19.220 being afraid
00:45:19.760 of stuff
00:45:20.300 you know
00:45:23.080 I remember
00:45:23.340 when my
00:45:23.600 father was
00:45:24.020 you know
00:45:24.440 obviously
00:45:24.780 I'm not
00:45:25.720 going to
00:45:25.880 say again
00:45:26.280 how old
00:45:26.640 my father
00:45:26.980 was
00:45:27.160 I always
00:45:27.420 say it
00:45:27.800 but one
00:45:29.440 of my
00:45:29.620 first
00:45:29.900 memories
00:45:30.460 was I
00:45:30.860 remember
00:45:31.080 walking
00:45:31.500 I woke
00:45:31.880 up at
00:45:32.140 night and
00:45:32.400 I walked
00:45:32.720 into this
00:45:33.060 other room
00:45:33.500 in our
00:45:33.720 house and
00:45:34.200 my sister
00:45:36.000 was real
00:45:36.360 sick
00:45:36.780 you know 0.97
00:45:37.200 she was born
00:45:37.700 with a rare
00:45:38.160 disease and
00:45:38.840 she needed
00:45:40.480 a transplant
00:45:41.020 and my
00:45:41.420 father was
00:45:41.860 like rocking
00:45:42.320 her in this
00:45:42.700 rocking chair
00:45:43.320 and he was
00:45:44.120 crying and
00:45:45.420 he was real
00:45:45.860 sad you know
00:45:46.640 and I knew
00:45:48.700 that my sister
00:45:49.260 was sick and
00:45:49.940 I saw him
00:45:50.400 crying and
00:45:50.960 it just like
00:45:51.720 you know
00:45:53.180 I don't know
00:45:53.520 it just made
00:45:53.980 me real scared
00:45:54.680 it made me
00:45:55.260 scared out of
00:45:56.160 the beginning
00:45:56.600 but yeah I've
00:45:58.920 written some
00:45:59.180 stuff about that
00:45:59.760 I've written
00:46:00.040 some funny
00:46:00.520 stories and
00:46:02.720 I think as I
00:46:03.840 get a little
00:46:04.200 bit more settled
00:46:04.900 after I get
00:46:05.400 done touring
00:46:05.980 next year I'm
00:46:06.620 going to try to
00:46:07.000 focus a little
00:46:07.500 bit more on
00:46:07.960 getting back to
00:46:08.460 some writing
00:46:09.000 creating some
00:46:10.540 fun stuff
00:46:11.060 that's not
00:46:11.780 touring as
00:46:13.480 much because
00:46:14.440 this touring
00:46:14.860 takes a lot
00:46:15.340 out of me
00:46:15.740 right now
00:46:16.280 and then one
00:46:18.140 more from
00:46:18.540 Faye
00:46:19.020 Dvorak
00:46:19.800 what books
00:46:21.220 or movies
00:46:21.600 have had an
00:46:21.980 impact on
00:46:22.380 the way you
00:46:22.740 think about
00:46:23.280 things
00:46:23.780 what was
00:46:24.820 going on
00:46:25.300 in your
00:46:25.540 life at
00:46:25.840 the time
00:46:26.140 that you
00:46:26.320 read or
00:46:26.620 saw them
00:46:26.940 and how
00:46:27.180 did they
00:46:27.400 change
00:46:27.720 your
00:46:27.840 thinking
00:46:28.220 oh wow
00:46:28.760 I don't
00:46:29.020 know about
00:46:29.400 some of
00:46:29.700 that
00:46:29.980 that's
00:46:30.380 deep
00:46:30.740 what books
00:46:32.660 or movies
00:46:33.220 you know
00:46:33.920 I like
00:46:34.200 that movie
00:46:34.720 Bridges of
00:46:36.140 Madison
00:46:36.400 County
00:46:36.880 you know
00:46:38.980 there's just
00:46:39.300 a moment
00:46:39.660 of choice
00:46:40.140 in there
00:46:40.420 a moment
00:46:40.740 of love
00:46:41.260 a moment
00:46:41.660 of comfort
00:46:42.220 you know
00:46:42.700 it just
00:46:43.780 shows how
00:46:44.260 people's lives
00:46:45.220 can interact
00:46:45.900 and they're not
00:46:46.320 really
00:46:46.600 you know
00:46:50.100 how every
00:46:50.480 decision you
00:46:51.060 make
00:46:51.280 isn't
00:46:51.600 so
00:46:52.180 well it
00:46:56.620 just shows
00:46:56.980 that you
00:46:57.200 can get
00:46:57.480 love in
00:46:57.880 different
00:46:58.060 places
00:46:58.420 and that
00:46:58.720 there's
00:46:58.900 different
00:46:59.120 levels
00:46:59.480 to love
00:46:59.960 and different
00:47:00.300 parts
00:47:00.660 of love
00:47:01.100 some love
00:47:01.540 you get
00:47:01.800 from here
00:47:02.260 and some
00:47:02.580 love
00:47:02.860 you get
00:47:03.120 from there
00:47:03.620 so I like
00:47:04.940 that movie
00:47:05.400 Bridges of
00:47:05.860 Madison
00:47:06.100 County
00:47:06.460 and it's
00:47:06.720 about
00:47:06.920 bridges
00:47:07.280 man
00:47:07.520 bridges
00:47:07.880 you know
00:47:08.360 because think
00:47:09.400 about this
00:47:10.100 before
00:47:11.640 bridges
00:47:12.140 what
00:47:12.560 people had
00:47:16.060 to try
00:47:16.380 and jump
00:47:16.920 over
00:47:17.200 something
00:47:17.600 so if
00:47:20.380 you wanted
00:47:20.800 to get
00:47:21.380 a message
00:47:21.960 to somebody
00:47:23.100 across
00:47:24.460 the
00:47:24.860 whatever
00:47:26.380 water
00:47:27.180 you know
00:47:28.220 or whatever
00:47:29.580 dragon area
00:47:30.860 you had 0.99
00:47:32.200 to fucking 0.99
00:47:32.600 get a buddy 1.00
00:47:33.480 feed him
00:47:35.180 a bunch
00:47:35.500 of steaks
00:47:36.100 and everything
00:47:36.580 train him
00:47:37.420 you know
00:47:39.400 get him a
00:47:39.920 rosary
00:47:40.460 couple rosaries
00:47:41.500 you know
00:47:43.620 tell him
00:47:44.080 he was
00:47:44.320 gonna make
00:47:44.920 it
00:47:45.260 and then
00:47:47.680 send him
00:47:48.280 out there
00:47:48.700 running
00:47:49.440 and the
00:47:54.800 dragon got
00:47:55.540 him
00:47:55.900 you know
00:47:57.220 what I'm
00:47:57.340 saying
00:47:57.500 so bridges
00:47:58.200 are everything
00:47:59.000 bridges
00:48:00.360 are really
00:48:01.080 because before
00:48:03.540 that you had
00:48:04.220 to get wet
00:48:04.920 or get eaten
00:48:05.680 or get burnt
00:48:06.600 I mean
00:48:08.640 bridges
00:48:09.280 name
00:48:13.020 you know
00:48:14.020 name 11
00:48:15.080 other things
00:48:16.120 that are
00:48:17.220 better than
00:48:17.680 that
00:48:18.060 over time
00:48:21.100 maybe
00:48:21.420 and you know
00:48:22.940 and everybody
00:48:23.620 did a bridge
00:48:24.420 that wasn't
00:48:25.100 just no
00:48:25.540 Benjamin
00:48:25.980 Franklin
00:48:26.600 hogging
00:48:27.700 all the
00:48:28.100 you know
00:48:32.600 old beef
00:48:33.600 Frankie
00:48:34.160 hogging
00:48:35.820 all the 1.00
00:48:36.140 damn 1.00
00:48:36.580 inventions 1.00
00:48:38.640 everybody
00:48:39.420 did a bridge
00:48:40.260 Ben
00:48:40.760 so sorry
00:48:42.980 I shouldn't
00:48:43.440 have got upset
00:48:43.860 about that 1.00
00:48:44.240 but that shit 0.98
00:48:44.700 kinda 0.98
00:48:44.920 you know
00:48:45.960 a lot of times
00:48:46.720 all these
00:48:47.200 old people 0.85
00:48:47.760 that is
00:48:48.040 you know
00:48:48.660 you know
00:48:49.900 Einstein 1.00
00:48:51.080 fucking 1.00
00:48:53.360 who else 1.00
00:48:54.000 what's that
00:48:55.480 guy's name
00:48:56.180 uh
00:48:57.240 Miserak
00:48:58.820 Steve
00:48:59.160 Miserak
00:48:59.980 um
00:49:00.840 yeah all
00:49:02.040 these people
00:49:02.360 say they
00:49:02.780 invented
00:49:03.100 everything
00:49:03.540 Thomas
00:49:03.900 Jefferson
00:49:04.540 TJ
00:49:06.380 oh yeah
00:49:08.380 you guys
00:49:08.840 did it all
00:49:09.520 but no
00:49:10.440 everybody
00:49:10.860 did
00:49:11.180 bridges
00:49:11.620 um
00:49:13.540 but I'll
00:49:15.260 have to get
00:49:15.560 more deeper
00:49:16.000 into that
00:49:16.260 one another
00:49:16.560 time
00:49:16.840 Faye
00:49:17.000 but thank
00:49:17.380 you for
00:49:17.560 that
00:49:17.700 question
00:49:18.040 about you
00:49:18.400 know
00:49:18.480 what
00:49:18.700 things
00:49:19.040 were going
00:49:19.360 on in
00:49:19.580 your life
00:49:19.860 at the
00:49:20.060 time
00:49:20.260 you read
00:49:20.520 or saw
00:49:20.880 them
00:49:21.080 uh
00:49:22.860 I don't
00:49:24.020 remember
00:49:24.400 that's
00:49:24.680 you know
00:49:24.980 my brain
00:49:25.580 doesn't work
00:49:26.040 like that
00:49:26.440 my memory
00:49:26.860 is not
00:49:27.100 that strong
00:49:27.780 in that
00:49:28.120 sense
00:49:28.580 um
00:49:29.840 but thank
00:49:31.140 you for
00:49:31.340 your support
00:49:31.920 and that
00:49:32.900 is definitely
00:49:33.240 one of my
00:49:33.540 favorite movies
00:49:34.080 and books
00:49:34.600 and that
00:49:35.220 that Bridges 0.81
00:49:35.960 in Madison
00:49:36.240 County
00:49:36.540 that's word
00:49:36.960 for word
00:49:37.360 book
00:49:37.660 movie
00:49:38.000 for movie
00:49:38.560 and the
00:49:39.180 Patriot
00:49:39.620 as always
00:49:40.040 you know
00:49:40.300 is one of
00:49:40.520 my favorite
00:49:40.820 movies
00:49:41.140 ever
00:49:41.780 and probably
00:49:42.280 always will
00:49:42.720 be
00:49:42.980 aim small
00:49:43.940 miss small
00:49:44.740 I can't solve
00:49:46.140 a big problem
00:49:46.740 man but I
00:49:47.160 could solve
00:49:47.540 this little
00:49:47.900 small one
00:49:48.460 and that'll
00:49:49.720 get me to
00:49:50.080 the next
00:49:50.380 little small
00:49:50.900 one
00:49:51.800 gang gang
00:49:53.000 man
00:49:53.500 let's get to
00:49:56.100 a couple of
00:49:56.440 calls that
00:49:56.780 came in
00:49:57.180 because I'm
00:49:57.440 about to go
00:49:57.720 get lunch
00:49:58.300 onward
00:50:00.240 hold on
00:50:03.560 let's
00:50:03.860 stop
00:50:04.180 gang gang
00:50:09.680 what's up
00:50:10.140 Theo
00:50:10.460 gang gang
00:50:11.340 brother
00:50:11.700 onward
00:50:12.680 man I
00:50:13.900 love you
00:50:14.240 bro
00:50:14.580 just went
00:50:15.240 to your
00:50:15.680 show in
00:50:17.500 New York
00:50:17.780 City
00:50:18.100 you did a
00:50:18.760 really great
00:50:19.160 job
00:50:19.540 made my
00:50:19.960 birthday
00:50:20.240 really special
00:50:21.040 you know
00:50:22.700 well thank
00:50:24.340 you man
00:50:24.560 I appreciate
00:50:24.980 that
00:50:25.520 yeah that
00:50:26.320 club I
00:50:26.760 don't think
00:50:27.020 that they
00:50:27.300 did a good
00:50:27.680 job they 0.66
00:50:28.000 tried to
00:50:28.340 hurry the
00:50:28.720 VIP
00:50:29.100 you know
00:50:29.760 the meet
00:50:30.440 and greets
00:50:30.900 and hurry 0.93
00:50:31.280 it up at
00:50:31.740 the end
00:50:32.000 of the
00:50:32.220 show
00:50:32.580 they were
00:50:34.320 flashing the
00:50:35.020 lights on
00:50:35.520 us
00:50:35.980 you know
00:50:38.100 I don't
00:50:38.300 know what
00:50:38.620 and hopefully
00:50:39.540 everybody's
00:50:39.920 experience was
00:50:40.500 great but
00:50:41.900 you know
00:50:43.020 the guy
00:50:43.520 the man
00:50:43.960 they
00:50:44.480 it definitely
00:50:46.360 wasn't
00:50:49.080 you know
00:50:51.000 it wasn't
00:50:52.020 I hope you
00:50:52.820 guys'
00:50:53.060 experience was
00:50:53.660 good
00:50:53.960 I'll just
00:50:55.100 leave it at
00:50:55.900 that
00:50:56.460 because yeah
00:50:59.060 just the
00:50:59.840 music
00:51:00.220 just things
00:51:00.840 that you
00:51:01.140 know
00:51:01.320 are basic
00:51:02.160 things
00:51:02.520 it didn't
00:51:02.860 seem like
00:51:03.140 they cared
00:51:03.540 that much
00:51:03.980 about the
00:51:04.420 people coming
00:51:04.920 to the
00:51:05.220 shows
00:51:05.660 but it's
00:51:07.880 a Times Square
00:51:08.500 business down
00:51:09.160 there in Times Square
00:51:09.980 and it's just
00:51:10.580 you know
00:51:10.940 they're just
00:51:11.560 running people
00:51:12.160 it felt like a
00:51:12.660 diner where
00:51:13.380 they did comedy
00:51:14.020 at
00:51:14.320 but I
00:51:17.000 appreciate
00:51:17.540 everybody that
00:51:18.020 came let's
00:51:18.340 hear more man
00:51:18.920 sorry I've
00:51:19.400 been a little
00:51:19.800 negative
00:51:20.160 I met you
00:51:21.060 after the
00:51:21.460 show
00:51:21.800 you told
00:51:22.360 me that
00:51:22.880 you know
00:51:23.560 you might
00:51:23.980 have relapsed
00:51:24.580 with the
00:51:24.840 cigarette hitters
00:51:25.700 but it's
00:51:26.520 alright man
00:51:27.060 you know
00:51:27.320 there's another
00:51:27.740 day
00:51:28.120 another dollar
00:51:28.960 and we're
00:51:29.540 out here
00:51:30.040 and you know
00:51:31.480 I was good
00:51:32.100 for three months
00:51:32.680 no cigarettes
00:51:33.260 and then I
00:51:33.640 recently also
00:51:34.440 started again
00:51:35.560 but you know
00:51:36.360 we'll quit them
00:51:37.340 hitters
00:51:37.700 you know
00:51:38.140 and you just
00:51:39.260 gotta try again
00:51:40.080 and try again
00:51:40.800 until you know
00:51:41.520 they say
00:51:42.080 the success
00:51:43.620 gets better
00:51:44.560 the more
00:51:45.860 tense you do
00:51:46.520 and the longer
00:51:47.060 days that you've
00:51:48.040 you know
00:51:48.620 been off
00:51:49.120 and thanks
00:51:49.700 once again
00:51:51.400 I appreciate it
00:51:52.120 oh yeah
00:51:52.500 and then Monday's
00:51:53.320 podcast
00:51:53.880 yeah thanks
00:51:55.040 man
00:51:55.300 yeah
00:51:55.500 I got back
00:51:55.940 on them
00:51:56.200 cigarettes
00:51:56.560 about a week
00:51:57.100 ago
00:51:57.480 and so
00:51:58.880 some of it
00:51:59.380 is I just
00:51:59.700 get so tired
00:52:00.380 and just so
00:52:00.880 exhausted
00:52:01.420 it's like I
00:52:01.960 just don't
00:52:02.360 have anything
00:52:02.920 I can't sleep
00:52:04.740 Saturday night
00:52:05.640 I couldn't even
00:52:06.040 sleep
00:52:06.260 I was up
00:52:06.720 all night
00:52:07.680 dude I never
00:52:09.440 been up all
00:52:10.180 night since I
00:52:10.960 was I don't
00:52:11.440 even know
00:52:12.000 since I probably
00:52:13.040 had colic or
00:52:13.940 something as a
00:52:14.480 child
00:52:14.860 or if there
00:52:16.080 was a snake
00:52:16.640 in the room
00:52:17.100 I could never
00:52:17.600 sleep if there
00:52:18.460 was a snake
00:52:18.940 in the room
00:52:19.560 but uh
00:52:21.880 but yeah
00:52:22.840 so I've been
00:52:23.220 back on them
00:52:23.780 ritz man
00:52:24.520 gang
00:52:25.240 onward
00:52:25.740 remember last
00:52:26.700 Monday's podcast
00:52:27.380 I wanted to
00:52:27.960 ask you
00:52:28.480 you know
00:52:29.180 like you're
00:52:29.580 talking a lot
00:52:30.020 about your
00:52:30.360 dad and stuff
00:52:31.200 and your
00:52:31.680 feelings
00:52:32.160 you know
00:52:33.140 the relationship
00:52:33.800 there
00:52:34.300 do you think
00:52:35.940 you'd be a
00:52:36.360 different comedian
00:52:37.340 if you had
00:52:39.140 if you were a
00:52:39.920 father yourself
00:52:40.660 you know
00:52:41.220 that's a good
00:52:42.800 question would I
00:52:43.340 be a different
00:52:43.780 comedian if I
00:52:44.560 were a father
00:52:45.000 myself
00:52:45.540 you know it's
00:52:48.240 funny sometimes I
00:52:48.860 think I'm afraid
00:52:49.500 to get into a
00:52:50.400 family and that
00:52:51.100 sort of thing
00:52:51.600 because it'll
00:52:53.360 change the way
00:52:54.580 that I see the
00:52:57.120 world a little
00:52:57.660 bit and I
00:53:00.640 just want to
00:53:01.080 make sure I get
00:53:01.600 everything out of
00:53:02.500 the way I see
00:53:03.060 the world right
00:53:03.640 now or yeah
00:53:06.100 or will I have
00:53:06.960 anything to joke
00:53:07.660 about then will
00:53:08.340 I just be some
00:53:09.120 you know such an
00:53:10.480 emo nemo I'll 1.00
00:53:11.440 turn into a damn 1.00
00:53:12.100 emo shark you 1.00
00:53:13.880 know and then I'll
00:53:14.520 just be you know
00:53:16.080 just holding my
00:53:16.740 son just crying on
00:53:17.800 like the bank of a
00:53:18.560 river all the time
00:53:19.340 like you know I
00:53:20.300 just so I start to
00:53:21.280 wonder like yeah
00:53:24.220 just I don't know
00:53:25.820 it's like I'm I'm
00:53:27.480 kind of at a little
00:53:28.340 bit of a place where
00:53:28.960 I'm comfortable you
00:53:31.080 know I'm that
00:53:31.380 comfort cat and so
00:53:33.580 I don't know if I
00:53:34.280 you know it gets
00:53:34.980 scary for me to
00:53:35.680 think oh well if I
00:53:36.480 have a family am I
00:53:37.220 still going to be
00:53:37.660 able to be okay
00:53:38.580 because I don't
00:53:40.120 want to damage them
00:53:40.900 either you know I
00:53:41.560 don't want to damage
00:53:42.320 you know I don't
00:53:43.560 want to you know I
00:53:48.120 don't want to mess
00:53:48.620 up you know I
00:53:50.300 don't want to mess
00:53:50.760 up some little
00:53:51.260 kid's life or you 0.81
00:53:52.900 know shoot I don't
00:53:54.080 want to create single
00:53:54.920 moms that's not 1.00
00:53:55.820 the thing that I
00:53:57.320 were trying to do
00:53:58.180 so but that's a
00:54:00.620 good question man I
00:54:01.500 appreciate you calling
00:54:02.300 man as always the 0.69
00:54:03.380 hotline 985-664-9503
00:54:06.280 let's take another
00:54:06.880 call here
00:54:07.500 hey Theo this is
00:54:09.140 Chrissy from Atlanta
00:54:10.400 hey Chrissy from
00:54:11.720 Atlanta thank you for
00:54:12.500 calling I appreciate
00:54:13.720 you calling from that
00:54:16.280 ATL I heard your
00:54:18.540 podcast about how you
00:54:19.720 felt like you used to
00:54:21.000 be maybe ashamed of
00:54:22.000 your father and I
00:54:23.760 wanted to say you know
00:54:24.940 my dad was never
00:54:26.180 really a fancy guy in
00:54:28.240 Atlanta everyone's
00:54:29.380 dads go to golf clubs
00:54:31.920 all the time oh yeah
00:54:33.640 they got a lot of
00:54:34.280 fancy people over there
00:54:35.400 I know you're talking
00:54:36.600 about I know exactly
00:54:39.640 what you're talking
00:54:40.220 about the fancy
00:54:41.100 onward everyone's
00:54:42.360 dads are buying new
00:54:43.880 cars and that's just
00:54:45.640 kind of how dads are
00:54:46.620 here my dad's from
00:54:47.920 Ecuador so he is
00:54:49.620 always just he does
00:54:50.800 not care at all what
00:54:52.840 he what he looks like
00:54:53.960 or anything but it
00:54:55.200 really for me I felt
00:54:56.700 like it made me more
00:54:58.320 of a proud person and
00:54:59.920 like realize what
00:55:01.940 happiness was much
00:55:03.440 more because instead
00:55:04.480 of golfing and
00:55:05.780 buying cars my dad
00:55:07.680 was like building
00:55:08.600 bombs and blowing
00:55:10.040 them up in the 0.68
00:55:10.540 backyard making
00:55:12.180 kayaks out of wood
00:55:13.820 you know collecting
00:55:15.460 abandoned TVs and
00:55:18.200 using them like using
00:55:19.340 the screens to make
00:55:20.400 fires in the back you
00:55:21.840 know just doing a
00:55:22.860 wizardry a sound like
00:55:24.160 you're talking about
00:55:24.600 some real wizardry but
00:55:26.880 no I know you're
00:55:27.420 talking about it's
00:55:28.120 like you got to see
00:55:28.800 more of a creative
00:55:29.540 type of dad instead
00:55:31.440 of you know a lot of
00:55:33.500 times and this does
00:55:34.320 happen in a lot with
00:55:35.160 a lot of tradition in
00:55:36.320 different communities I
00:55:38.120 find that people just
00:55:40.760 live into these streams
00:55:42.020 of tradition and they
00:55:42.980 don't create their own
00:55:43.980 kind of canals of
00:55:46.940 creativity a lot of
00:55:48.140 times it sounds like
00:55:49.940 your father was
00:55:50.500 definitely doing you
00:55:52.400 know was doing a
00:55:53.440 little bit more
00:55:53.920 creativity and in
00:55:55.120 creativity you get to
00:55:56.480 see who someone is you
00:55:57.560 get to see some of the
00:55:58.460 colors of them on
00:55:59.480 doing cool stuff and
00:56:01.160 for me that that was
00:56:04.040 actually a better way to
00:56:05.180 grow up and so I'm
00:56:06.580 like I'm grateful for
00:56:09.040 that you know but
00:56:10.480 thanks yeah well it
00:56:13.120 sounds like yeah it
00:56:15.520 sounds like you got to
00:56:16.100 have a unique experience
00:56:17.140 with your day yeah it's
00:56:19.960 it's so weird too it's
00:56:22.560 like you know we just
00:56:23.240 don't realize some stuff
00:56:24.240 when we're young and
00:56:25.560 sometimes we realize it
00:56:26.560 later you know we don't
00:56:29.100 know and that's life
00:56:31.660 isn't it man it's like
00:56:34.120 you play a lot of the
00:56:35.160 game and then like
00:56:37.380 years later you kind of
00:56:41.280 get to watch the game
00:56:42.260 back and review how it
00:56:43.480 went and it's always
00:56:46.640 feels like that it's so
00:56:47.660 hard to get to get I
00:56:53.720 don't know it's so hard
00:56:54.420 to get I don't know it's
00:56:58.140 where you're where who
00:57:04.960 you are and the way you
00:57:07.320 feel about life matches
00:57:08.960 up in real time with
00:57:10.200 what's going on and
00:57:12.460 maybe some of that just
00:57:13.200 comes with time and age
00:57:14.260 let's take another call
00:57:15.800 here thank you for that
00:57:16.540 call young lady
00:57:17.960 what's up Reed dude
00:57:26.240 rodeo I've been thinking
00:57:28.240 about rodeo that's crazy
00:57:29.520 that you called man I've
00:57:31.840 been thinking about the
00:57:32.660 rodeo boy I like going to
00:57:35.220 the rodeo seeing those
00:57:36.320 wranglers seeing that hat
00:57:38.000 seeing them buckles seeing
00:57:40.200 them yeah yeah yeah them
00:57:41.440 steeds I ride in
00:57:43.360 bucking horses saddle
00:57:44.760 bronc uh bucking horses 0.98
00:57:46.620 hell yeah dude saddle
00:57:48.160 bronc's amazing uh it's
00:57:51.560 like having uh it's like
00:57:52.460 learning to drive like
00:57:53.580 when you first learn to
00:57:54.380 drive a stick shift but in 1.00
00:57:56.700 a fucking f-15 tomcat 0.99
00:58:01.000 onward I've been to a lot 1.00
00:58:03.320 of rodeos cross country
00:58:04.620 whatnot I'm only about 20
00:58:06.040 years old so I got a long
00:58:07.380 a long lifetime of rodeo
00:58:09.500 left but it's uh kind of
00:58:11.360 hard to do that and going
00:58:12.660 to going to college I'm a
00:58:15.520 sophomore this year and uh
00:58:17.660 at the Fresno State
00:58:18.860 University nice man
00:58:20.860 congratulations on your
00:58:21.880 sophomoreship man you're
00:58:22.900 getting it done onward
00:58:24.020 and uh in between classes
00:58:26.440 man I set up my schedule
00:58:27.820 weird so I got a lot of
00:58:28.820 breaks in between my
00:58:29.620 classes and I listen to
00:58:31.220 your podcast and the king
00:58:32.660 and the sting and the
00:58:33.600 buzz and the thing and
00:58:35.620 whatnot
00:58:36.100 king and the sting's pretty
00:58:40.400 funny bro that one's such
00:58:41.580 a goofy and we just goof 0.69
00:58:43.280 around in there onward 0.89
00:58:44.860 now listen all them and
00:58:47.040 man I wouldn't I would be
00:58:49.140 lying if I didn't if I
00:58:50.460 said I didn't get my
00:58:51.340 hairstyle after you I got
00:58:52.680 a little bit of a rat tail
00:58:53.880 pg brother praise god ptl 0.85
00:58:57.440 baby praise the lord and my
00:58:59.360 brother's got that rat tail
00:59:00.460 too man
00:59:01.040 i had a full mullet but I
00:59:03.960 decided to go in like kind
00:59:04.960 of a mohawk and leave the
00:59:06.440 tail on the back I'm kind
00:59:08.380 of upset with chin or
00:59:09.460 whoever runs the
00:59:10.260 submissions department for
00:59:11.580 the king of the sting I
00:59:13.100 sent in a video a few
00:59:14.920 weeks back and freaking I
00:59:17.180 don't know if chin filters
00:59:18.300 through all the all the
00:59:20.220 cool videos that they
00:59:21.380 start sending and and he
00:59:22.880 kicks them out or whatnot
00:59:23.800 but mine didn't get in
00:59:25.800 there and I didn't watch
00:59:27.560 it for a week or so so I
00:59:28.800 was kind of upset wanted to
00:59:30.680 see uh how you guys react
00:59:32.460 to talking about the
00:59:34.020 rodeos and whatnot
00:59:34.960 well I you know what
00:59:36.540 I'm I'll see if I can
00:59:37.540 talk to them over there
00:59:38.300 and see if we can't get
00:59:39.080 that through because I'd
00:59:39.780 love to think about the
00:59:40.660 rodeos and I think that's
00:59:42.060 a great topic man and gang
00:59:43.900 gang and I appreciate you
00:59:44.920 sending that in bro and
00:59:46.540 you know what's so funny
00:59:47.140 when I was in New York
00:59:47.780 City man I met a police
00:59:48.980 officer and his hair his
00:59:51.280 his his horse had a haircut
00:59:54.100 same as mine and I said
00:59:55.920 is that your horse and he
00:59:57.500 said yeah yeah that's my
00:59:58.520 horse I'm on it and so I
01:00:00.640 figured you know probably
01:00:01.920 was his and then I said
01:00:05.720 well who cut his hair and
01:00:07.060 he kind of looks around
01:00:08.220 he's like ah I'll be 0.99
01:00:09.900 honest I kind of fucked it 0.99
01:00:11.100 up I was like damn 0.99
01:00:13.020 bro I didn't think it was 0.98
01:00:16.460 going to be him that was
01:00:17.720 doing it though man but I
01:00:19.900 appreciate that honesty and
01:00:21.620 the horse looked a little
01:00:22.560 shy you know like you know
01:00:24.300 like people you know like
01:00:26.120 he had gotten kind of a
01:00:27.060 rough cut man he needed like 0.99
01:00:29.720 he needed a little bit
01:00:30.460 more comfort cotton on his
01:00:31.740 body next week we'll do a
01:00:33.960 special Mother's Day
01:00:34.660 episode I gotta go and
01:00:37.220 and I'm sorry that we're
01:00:38.320 late this week I'm really
01:00:39.600 excited to be coming over
01:00:40.520 to Europe I can't even
01:00:41.460 believe this man like I'm
01:00:42.480 saying things that are like
01:00:45.540 dreams come true and now
01:00:46.680 I'm saying I'm like they're
01:00:47.400 just regular things so maybe
01:00:52.560 I just need it's a sign I
01:00:53.640 just need to watch my ego my
01:00:54.920 ego could be getting weird you
01:00:56.700 know the ego is so dangerous
01:00:58.720 man so dangerous huh so I'm
01:01:04.620 grateful this week I don't
01:01:05.400 have to go anywhere I can
01:01:06.200 just spend some time kind of
01:01:07.380 trying to think about other
01:01:09.720 people than myself you know
01:01:12.560 man I get tired of myself you
01:01:14.460 know I'm grateful but man I
01:01:16.380 get tired you know I just
01:01:19.020 it's weird the only way that I
01:01:23.000 really can feel feel good at a
01:01:27.440 core place at like a place
01:01:29.100 that you know like in the
01:01:33.860 center like in my a quarter you
01:01:36.400 know in my like the core of my
01:01:38.980 aortas man is uh is if I'm able 0.60
01:01:42.900 to do something for somebody else I
01:01:44.160 think that's the only way that
01:01:45.100 humanity work that we work you
01:01:47.820 know I don't know what the hell do
01:01:49.420 I know but be good to yourselves
01:01:52.560 man I know that you guys deserve
01:01:54.020 it I meet so many so many people
01:01:56.000 from this from this podcast and I'm
01:01:57.600 out on the road and uh and it's an
01:02:01.020 honor you know it's an honor and for
01:02:03.560 the people that don't get to meet
01:02:04.400 we'll meet you next time I know some
01:02:06.220 VIP tickets are sold out for
01:02:07.580 different places I'll do some just
01:02:09.320 meet and greets after for everybody
01:02:11.600 um we'll figure it out okay we'll
01:02:15.320 figure it out and thank you guys uh
01:02:17.180 uh for being good to me I
01:02:19.560 appreciate it and um and be good to
01:02:22.480 yourselves don't forget those
01:02:23.460 flowers from mother's day or
01:02:24.420 something a card anything
01:02:25.480 ladies and gentlemen I'm Jonathan
01:02:50.900 Kite and welcome to Kite Club a
01:02:53.140 podcast where I'll be sharing
01:02:54.480 thoughts on things like current
01:02:55.840 events stand-up stories and seven
01:02:58.260 ways to pleasure your partner the
01:03:00.540 answer may shock you sometimes I'll
01:03:02.760 interview my friends sometimes I
01:03:04.740 won't and as always I'll be joined
01:03:07.240 by the voices in my head you have
01:03:09.420 three new voice messages a lot of
01:03:12.600 people are talking about Kite Club
01:03:14.380 I've been talking about Kite Club for
01:03:16.600 so long longer than anybody else so
01:03:19.220 great hi so yeah easy too anyone who
01:03:23.940 doesn't listen to Kite Club is a 0.99
01:03:25.740 dodgy bloody wanker Jermaine I'll take a 1.00
01:03:30.000 quarter pounder with cheese and a 1.00
01:03:31.620 McFlurry
01:03:32.220 I think Tom Hanks just butt dialed me
01:03:39.000 anyway first rule of Kite Club is tell
01:03:41.800 everyone about Kite Club second rule
01:03:43.900 of Kite Club is tell everyone about
01:03:46.640 Kite Club third rule like and
01:03:48.800 subscribe wherever you listen to
01:03:50.320 podcasts or watch us on YouTube yeah
01:03:52.920 and yes don't worry my Brad Pitt
01:03:55.220 impression will get better
01:03:56.460 you