This Past Weekend with Theo Von - Comfort Cat

00:00:00.000 and i can't figure out if i should put my hat on or hat off you ever have that

00:00:08.440 and women y'all are lucky unless it's a like a um you know kind of a women that do tennis or a

00:00:16.960 lesbian type of lady that likes to wear a man like a hat then you don't have to regularly decide

00:00:24.540 hat or no hat hat or no hat a lot of stuff goes into that when you're a fella when you're a man you

00:00:36.060 know when you're an adult male because it's a matter like okay do do my hair does my hair look

00:00:43.860 nice enough today or do i just hide that shit you know just be a i had a dactyl you feel me i had a

00:00:53.160 hippopotamus you know do you or do you say look i'm a ride with the with the lord's drapes today

00:01:00.960 and let your hair go you know i'm gonna do that thing a little i'm gonna do that dangle and let

00:01:07.920 your hair go am i look there are days when i feel like i'm losing hair like i woke up the morning in

00:01:15.220 the morning i'm down maybe 70 hairs or down maybe 60 80 100 hair or 100 200 hairs

00:01:22.320 and i say dang well i'm doing hat today and there's there's days when i wake up and i'm feeling

00:01:28.940 full like my hair like uh like maybe my hair had other hair stay overnight and sleep at the house

00:01:37.320 and so suddenly my head looks full of hair you know like it's like a family reunion or something

00:01:43.260 for follicles

00:01:44.700 let's get into the episode

00:01:49.100 i'm just sitting on your front porch wondering how could i be so far from my

00:02:11.440 home

00:02:12.740 and my mind is somewhere else but when i find it i'll patch up where it's been blown

00:02:23.680 now i'm just floating on the breeze and i feel i'm falling like these leaves i must be

00:02:34.100 cornerstone

00:02:36.400 i'm on

00:02:38.700 but when i reach that ground i'll share this peace of mind i found i can feel it

00:02:45.100 in my bones

00:02:47.200 but it's gonna take

00:02:50.100 a little time

00:02:52.860 for me to set that parking brake

00:02:56.720 and let myself

00:02:57.720 and let myself

00:02:58.320 and let myself

00:02:58.360 all

00:02:58.820 shine

00:02:59.720 that light on me

00:03:03.420 i'll sit and tell you my stories

00:03:09.220 shine

00:03:11.720 on me

00:03:14.120 and i will

00:03:16.620 find a song

00:03:18.380 i will sing it

00:03:19.900 just

00:03:20.520 for you

00:03:21.820 wow thank you uh hello hello everyone i'm coming to you it is um monday may 6 in the year

00:03:36.300 two thousand and one nine

00:03:39.020 2019 we're calling it or two zero one nine for people that just do individual numbers

00:03:45.120 but still keep time

00:03:48.620 this is it this is where we are

00:03:52.160 you know this is where we are this is where i am that's what i'm realizing a little bit today this is where i am

00:03:59.260 you know sometime and i don't like making decisions man this hat thing i couldn't do i go hat do i go no hat

00:04:07.920 and then i started thinking at least man we have that option

00:04:12.280 you got that get out of uh

00:04:15.960 you got that get out of uh

00:04:19.220 if your hair looks if your hair is looking a little ugly in the morning you got that get out of ugly free card

00:04:23.920 that hat

00:04:28.260 you put the hat on

00:04:29.540 a hat is just a small apartment for your head

00:04:32.440 once you get inside a hat it's almost like being indoors a little bit and that's what i'll

00:04:38.340 i've always enjoyed the most about a hat

00:04:40.240 is that

00:04:41.660 you put a hat on and suddenly

00:04:43.760 it's like you're indoors a little bit

00:04:47.480 it's like you got a little

00:04:49.260 you know like um

00:04:51.740 you got a little more a little more

00:04:54.400 between you and the world you got a little bit of

00:04:56.820 you know i like being a little bit more comforted

00:04:59.860 i'm that comforted cat

00:05:01.920 some cats you see them out there on the power lines walking the power lines

00:05:06.080 and doing uh cigarettes and um

00:05:08.860 you know maybe they uh

00:05:11.420 they'll get their tail corn road

00:05:13.540 and they're out there and fucking you know doing dice and shit like that and and

00:05:18.960 hanging out you know out in philadelphia or different places you know but

00:05:24.040 i'm that comfort cat

00:05:25.920 i like to have a little bit of a hat on sometimes you know i like to

00:05:30.060 put you know sometimes i'll put a little bit of cotton in my shirt i'll empty a bag of cotton into my shirt

00:05:35.100 so people can't see it out here but i'm comforted

00:05:38.440 i got that extra go on

00:05:40.800 happening

00:05:41.380 i got that you know

00:05:43.620 you know i got that

00:05:46.120 i got that

00:05:47.260 that fluff inside of me just

00:05:49.300 just i need a little bit more comfort

00:05:51.260 you know sometime i used to have a neighbor

00:05:54.120 and he was

00:05:54.540 real real big guy

00:05:56.320 and they called him

00:05:57.460 his name was wayne but they called him fat wayne

00:05:59.580 i didn't call him that his dad did actually but

00:06:01.920 and uh

00:06:03.480 i'd sleep over at his house sometimes

00:06:06.000 and we'd sleep in his bed

00:06:07.800 we was laying his bed you know because he lived there

00:06:10.100 and he had it and that's where he kept his bed obviously

00:06:13.020 and we would lay in his bed

00:06:15.800 and when he fell asleep you couldn't wake him up

00:06:18.540 you thought he was dead until he woke up

00:06:21.060 and he may have been dead

00:06:22.160 he may not even have actually gone to sleep at night

00:06:26.600 he may have died

00:06:28.400 and then just

00:06:30.300 just risen every morning you know

00:06:32.760 maybe he just had those religious

00:06:35.260 you know he just

00:06:36.840 zoned out and then re-zoned back in

00:06:39.200 but

00:06:41.120 he would when so when he would fall asleep

00:06:43.740 you know you could

00:06:44.700 you could put things on his back

00:06:46.100 you could do um

00:06:47.700 you know you could play soldiers on his back

00:06:50.220 and do little you know the army coming up over here

00:06:52.760 up over to uh

00:06:53.740 you know the scapula and then the other

00:06:56.300 you know you could do fighters

00:06:58.060 you know rambo versus

00:06:59.540 you know she-ra

00:07:01.020 and um

00:07:03.520 and you could do different stuff like that

00:07:06.100 on his back

00:07:07.500 you know you could do whatever

00:07:08.200 but i remember when i would go to

00:07:09.600 when i would be time for bed

00:07:11.100 i would lay down next to him

00:07:12.680 and i put his arm over me

00:07:14.820 and his arm had like a tattoo on it or something

00:07:19.160 i don't remember what it was

00:07:20.160 let me think about now

00:07:21.180 what was that

00:07:21.920 it may have been a couple um

00:07:25.380 what was that

00:07:29.900 a snowman or something

00:07:31.080 or some bacon

00:07:31.660 and his arm

00:07:33.340 and i'd put his arm over me

00:07:34.540 i'd put his arm over me

00:07:35.620 and then that's how i would sleep

00:07:36.680 you know i'm just that comfort cat

00:07:39.040 you know i'm just that comfort cat man

00:07:42.380 i like to have a little bit of

00:07:44.340 extra

00:07:45.660 i like to have a little bit

00:07:47.860 i need a little more support

00:07:49.660 you know i'm the kind of guy

00:07:51.700 you'll find a training wheel

00:07:52.800 on my back

00:07:54.500 just one

00:07:55.120 just that one hitter

00:07:57.100 you know i'm the kind of guy

00:07:59.740 who uh

00:08:00.600 who if i lay down next to you

00:08:03.080 i'll throw it

00:08:05.320 i'll throw your arm over me

00:08:06.540 you know

00:08:07.880 for a little while

00:08:08.700 now i'll

00:08:09.280 you know

00:08:10.160 i'll share

00:08:10.840 i'll do you for a while too

00:08:12.140 i'll

00:08:12.320 you know once i get a little rest

00:08:13.940 i'll wake up

00:08:14.540 and i'll throw one of my arms over you

00:08:15.940 or two arms

00:08:16.740 because i got lean medium arms

00:08:19.020 i got these medium reachers

00:08:21.800 i can't even

00:08:22.440 if somebody with really short arms

00:08:24.960 wants to shake my hand

00:08:25.760 i can't get there

00:08:26.580 you know those medium arms

00:08:29.460 but i'll put both of them on you

00:08:31.360 so you uh

00:08:33.640 feel a little bit of comfort as well

00:08:34.940 because i know what it feels like

00:08:36.300 you know

00:08:38.800 i know what it feels like

00:08:40.060 not only do i recognize that i need comfort

00:08:43.000 but then i have to then also do the inverse of that

00:08:47.200 i got to recognize what it feels like

00:08:49.260 if somebody else needs comfort

00:08:51.720 because i have to notice that

00:08:56.100 like if there's something that i

00:08:57.220 that i have a

00:08:58.000 that that i

00:08:59.880 that i require

00:09:01.120 then there's going to be something that somebody else

00:09:03.740 then there's

00:09:04.620 then i should notice that same

00:09:06.220 requirement or deficiency in others

00:09:09.160 immediately

00:09:09.820 you know and that's really

00:09:13.580 been something that

00:09:14.660 has been brought to some of the

00:09:16.680 forefront of my life

00:09:17.820 over the past couple years

00:09:19.120 since i started trying to get into like

00:09:21.400 12 step and learning about things

00:09:22.980 is that

00:09:23.500 is some of that awareness

00:09:26.220 just realizing oh

00:09:27.320 just how common it is

00:09:31.500 when i have an issue

00:09:32.280 that somebody else have it

00:09:33.280 that i can notice that issue in them

00:09:35.460 and not accuse them of having it

00:09:36.980 i don't even have to say it

00:09:38.140 but i could recognize man

00:09:40.060 you know i recognize this person

00:09:42.040 they might

00:09:42.440 i can try to just show them extra comfort

00:09:45.000 i'll just take a gamble

00:09:46.080 that they need more comfort

00:09:47.280 but i am that uh

00:09:51.420 i can all right

00:09:52.860 who's was that water

00:09:54.660 oh jesus

00:09:56.220 uh i am i can be that comfort cat

00:09:58.940 um thank you guys for being here today

00:10:00.860 i i did put a hat on

00:10:02.460 for those of you listening over audio

00:10:03.820 um

00:10:05.200 i am happy

00:10:07.860 i'm i'm happy to be here

00:10:09.340 man i'm gonna put a picture up on instagram

00:10:10.860 i can't even tell you some of the nice

00:10:12.180 you know people always bring nice things

00:10:14.160 to some of the comedy shows

00:10:15.100 not always

00:10:15.720 you know for 14 years

00:10:17.420 nobody brought

00:10:17.920 nobody brought anything

00:10:19.360 to the comedy shows

00:10:22.700 but some people brought some

00:10:24.360 a couple of nice gifts this week

00:10:26.100 um

00:10:26.860 and there's always like

00:10:27.940 no there's not always

00:10:29.040 but there's sometimes nice cards

00:10:30.760 and just really sweet messages

00:10:32.020 and you know

00:10:34.100 i wish i had a ton of time

00:10:35.300 or time enough time

00:10:36.200 to just

00:10:36.520 i have time to

00:10:37.520 to to read them

00:10:38.700 and to enjoy them

00:10:40.000 i wish i had time

00:10:40.520 to discuss all of them

00:10:41.780 um

00:10:42.740 but some really cool art

00:10:45.060 uh

00:10:46.180 and um

00:10:47.800 and some other nice things man

00:10:49.960 over there in uh

00:10:51.740 in in new york city

00:10:53.680 at the shows

00:10:54.160 first i want to announce

00:10:55.280 i know everybody

00:10:55.940 in europe

00:10:57.180 has been hitting me up

00:10:58.300 which sounds like

00:10:59.900 the craziest thing ever

00:11:01.020 because we might be

00:11:02.660 coming back to europe

00:11:03.580 i want to say that

00:11:04.520 you know

00:11:06.520 but i want to tell you

00:11:07.420 these these um

00:11:08.420 pre-sale

00:11:09.480 this is uh

00:11:10.280 some european tour dates

00:11:11.280 and these people have been

00:11:11.920 waiting for a long time

00:11:12.740 and and thank you so much

00:11:13.880 so many like

00:11:14.460 just nice messages

00:11:15.520 from ireland

00:11:16.280 and

00:11:16.580 and norway

00:11:17.760 sweden bro

00:11:18.600 um

00:11:19.940 from the uk

00:11:21.020 you know

00:11:21.660 and uh

00:11:22.600 these are the places

00:11:23.140 that i'm going

00:11:23.500 some of these i picked

00:11:24.420 uh

00:11:24.840 some of these

00:11:25.480 uh

00:11:26.140 were presented to me

00:11:27.240 but whatever

00:11:28.520 it doesn't matter

00:11:29.140 um

00:11:30.200 they go on sale

00:11:30.940 on tuesday

00:11:31.640 at 10 o'clock

00:11:32.700 local time

00:11:33.700 european time

00:11:35.280 so don't hit me

00:11:37.100 you know

00:11:37.300 don't be hitting me up

00:11:38.360 immediately when you

00:11:39.240 hear this podcast

00:11:40.000 and say

00:11:40.680 i don't see the tickets

00:11:42.000 well

00:11:43.240 look at your clock

00:11:44.820 look at your calendar

00:11:46.680 bro

00:11:47.160 if you do it like that

00:11:48.460 i mean

00:11:49.820 i know some people

00:11:50.680 wake up and guess

00:11:51.600 what day it is

00:11:52.560 if you do that

00:11:54.020 then don't fuck

00:11:54.660 then do not bother

00:11:55.840 me

00:11:56.440 but if you wake up

00:11:58.620 and look at a calendar

00:12:00.020 and you got that time

00:12:01.320 the clock piece

00:12:02.200 okay

00:12:03.360 the two-hander

00:12:04.100 don't fucking roll

00:12:04.840 with that one-hander

00:12:05.600 that thing's shady

00:12:06.400 i remember when i was

00:12:08.360 like nine years old

00:12:09.100 they came out

00:12:09.480 with like a one-hand clock

00:12:10.640 so everybody just

00:12:13.660 fucking a little bit

00:12:14.420 early or a little bit

00:12:15.280 late man

00:12:15.880 you know

00:12:16.380 people furious

00:12:17.360 oh people were furious

00:12:19.240 you know

00:12:20.840 i remember that

00:12:21.340 they had a wig shop

00:12:22.320 in our town

00:12:22.820 and didn't know

00:12:23.300 exactly when to open

00:12:24.240 and the lady ended up

00:12:26.240 ended up honestly

00:12:28.060 committing suicide

00:12:28.800 and i don't know

00:12:29.600 if it was because of that

00:12:30.580 but

00:12:30.900 you know

00:12:33.380 you got to think

00:12:35.160 if somebody's already

00:12:35.800 wearing a wig

00:12:36.420 they just

00:12:36.840 they

00:12:37.100 you know

00:12:38.920 they

00:12:39.240 you know

00:12:42.520 it's

00:12:43.120 it's touch and go for

00:12:44.200 them

00:12:44.440 so suddenly

00:12:46.120 you

00:12:46.400 you know

00:12:47.040 somebody comes out

00:12:47.680 with a one-handed clock

00:12:48.700 and people just have to guess

00:12:49.720 how many minutes

00:12:50.260 are going on

00:12:50.880 and this

00:12:51.220 it's just a lot

00:12:53.420 but anyhow

00:12:54.420 these are the dates

00:12:55.360 nine

00:12:56.720 september

00:12:58.040 october

00:12:58.800 september 13th

00:13:00.880 in glasgow

00:13:01.780 at the o2 academy

00:13:03.860 september 15th

00:13:07.960 in dublin

00:13:08.700 ireland

00:13:09.340 at vicar street

00:13:11.380 or vakar street

00:13:13.160 we got two shows there

00:13:14.620 november

00:13:17.740 september 18th

00:13:19.620 oslo norway

00:13:20.640 at folk

00:13:21.680 at folk theater

00:13:23.200 folk theater

00:13:25.300 oh

00:13:26.480 folk theater

00:13:27.580 folk theater

00:13:29.020 uh

00:13:31.580 okay

00:13:32.260 and then

00:13:33.380 oh

00:13:34.020 and that's

00:13:34.600 918

00:13:35.680 917

00:13:37.020 stockholm

00:13:38.580 sweden

00:13:39.220 at china

00:13:40.720 theater

00:13:41.200 china theater

00:13:43.780 920

00:13:45.460 and 921

00:13:46.760 at london

00:13:48.440 london uk

00:13:49.180 london uk

00:13:50.220 at shepherd's bush

00:13:51.620 over there

00:13:52.180 and that's going to be

00:13:54.520 uh

00:13:54.860 we got some shows

00:13:55.480 over there

00:13:55.720 i think it's four shows

00:13:56.620 922

00:13:57.640 that's um

00:13:59.340 manchester uk

00:14:00.460 and that's uh

00:14:02.000 dance hall show

00:14:03.080 number one

00:14:03.980 and then

00:14:05.140 924

00:14:05.940 uh

00:14:07.060 2019

00:14:07.580 amsterdam

00:14:08.580 netherlands

00:14:09.320 at demir

00:14:10.300 art

00:14:10.640 i think that's how you say that

00:14:13.340 demir

00:14:13.780 vart

00:14:14.140 and demir

00:14:16.200 vart

00:14:16.600 dude

00:14:16.960 that's when

00:14:17.760 i mean that's an old thing

00:14:20.200 i remember when we was young

00:14:22.120 somebody told us you could uh

00:14:24.360 i guess this is a little profane

00:14:27.160 let me just say i'm i'm excited

00:14:29.040 oh also the pre-sale code for those dates

00:14:31.140 the the code is onward

00:14:32.840 o-n-w-a-r-d

00:14:34.540 and that

00:14:35.680 and that's the only way you can get those tickets on pre-sale

00:14:38.560 is the code onward

00:14:39.660 that way

00:14:40.500 that only

00:14:41.440 uh tpw listeners

00:14:43.280 um

00:14:44.240 can get them

00:14:44.940 and uh

00:14:45.880 or just people that are

00:14:46.800 in our world

00:14:47.680 you know i'll put

00:14:48.240 i'll post that on social medias as well

00:14:49.940 and

00:14:50.140 and only people that can

00:14:51.520 that are in our world

00:14:52.760 can get them

00:14:53.520 so we get first shot at it

00:14:55.400 so that's why they have that pre-sale code

00:14:57.280 because i said to the man

00:14:59.360 the man said

00:14:59.760 we want to do pre-sale code

00:15:00.820 i said what are we going to do about that

00:15:01.940 i said everybody have to remember

00:15:03.760 a magical word

00:15:04.700 to get something

00:15:05.460 you know

00:15:06.960 where are we

00:15:07.660 i mean is this

00:15:08.960 are we in a uh

00:15:09.940 a fable

00:15:10.560 are we in a

00:15:11.320 you know

00:15:12.860 are we in

00:15:14.160 um

00:15:15.120 you know

00:15:16.560 rompestiltskin

00:15:17.480 why does somebody have to remember

00:15:19.120 a magical word

00:15:19.980 to get something

00:15:20.680 is this the bridge

00:15:21.940 to terabithia

00:15:22.700 so i'm saying that

00:15:25.500 that's why

00:15:26.800 the pre-sale code

00:15:27.500 it makes you

00:15:27.940 sure you can access the tickets

00:15:29.420 and that ends on friday

00:15:31.020 at 10 a.m local time

00:15:32.460 in europe

00:15:33.180 european time

00:15:34.480 and uh

00:15:36.580 and so that's it

00:15:37.600 those are the

00:15:38.080 it starts tuesday

00:15:38.940 and goes to friday

00:15:39.880 and the code is onward

00:15:41.180 and thank you guys so much

00:15:42.280 for your support

00:15:42.720 i'm really

00:15:43.080 man i'm nervous

00:15:44.280 because like

00:15:45.200 dude it's

00:15:49.180 so you know

00:15:49.600 there's nothing

00:15:50.400 there's nothing

00:15:51.140 scarier to me

00:15:52.520 than going on

00:15:55.500 to a stage

00:15:56.460 where you don't know

00:15:57.960 if people are going to

00:15:58.760 get the way

00:15:59.500 the joke is

00:16:00.420 the jokes

00:16:01.000 or the humor

00:16:01.580 or whatever

00:16:02.060 and you have to

00:16:04.040 tell the jokes

00:16:04.820 because i tell stories

00:16:06.920 man if you ain't

00:16:07.440 on the beginning

00:16:07.940 of a story

00:16:08.620 you ain't just

00:16:10.100 gonna pop in

00:16:10.820 about seven minutes

00:16:11.620 into that bastard

00:16:12.460 so

00:16:14.540 but i'm grateful

00:16:16.480 and i'm happy

00:16:17.100 to be going there

00:16:17.920 and i'm happy

00:16:19.000 that you

00:16:19.380 that you guys

00:16:20.140 will be there

00:16:20.700 and uh

00:16:21.300 and thank you

00:16:22.060 so much

00:16:22.320 for everybody

00:16:22.620 to support

00:16:22.980 man

00:16:23.120 so many people

00:16:23.660 have bought

00:16:23.940 tickets to this

00:16:24.680 to the shows

00:16:25.560 around the u.s

00:16:26.340 and i'm so

00:16:27.640 grateful

00:16:27.940 man

00:16:28.180 i'm

00:16:28.380 i'm gonna

00:16:30.580 take some

00:16:30.860 time off

00:16:31.280 for myself

00:16:31.740 here in the

00:16:32.200 next couple

00:16:32.600 weeks

00:16:33.060 and do

00:16:34.960 less

00:16:35.420 some less

00:16:36.360 this past

00:16:36.880 weekends

00:16:37.300 we'll have

00:16:37.620 some

00:16:38.000 and um

00:16:39.220 we got

00:16:40.160 trick lung

00:16:40.620 mickey

00:16:40.900 coming in

00:16:41.560 everybody knows

00:16:42.760 him

00:16:42.960 he's cystic

00:16:43.500 fibrosis

00:16:44.160 survivor

00:16:44.900 and we

00:16:45.460 you know

00:16:46.220 you know

00:16:47.680 it was

00:16:48.060 i was fortunate

00:16:48.660 enough to meet

00:16:49.220 him

00:16:49.540 we were

00:16:50.260 we were fortunate

00:16:50.900 enough to meet

00:16:51.400 him uh

00:16:52.040 i think maybe

00:16:53.320 nine months

00:16:54.300 before

00:16:54.800 when he was on

00:16:55.760 transplant list

00:16:56.920 and then he got

00:16:58.120 them new hitters

00:16:58.900 you know

00:16:59.540 he got them

00:17:00.680 new

00:17:00.960 huff huff

00:17:02.140 nut sacks

00:17:02.840 into his chest

00:17:03.480 about one

00:17:04.440 year ago

00:17:05.020 so we're

00:17:05.500 celebrating the

00:17:06.100 one year

00:17:06.400 anniversary

00:17:06.840 by having

00:17:07.280 trick lung

00:17:07.780 mickey in

00:17:08.280 here

00:17:08.520 and he's

00:17:09.380 got those

00:17:09.700 new fucking

00:17:10.160 baby bags

00:17:11.000 you know

00:17:11.420 them new

00:17:12.160 whistle makers

00:17:12.880 he's got

00:17:13.200 new lungs

00:17:13.860 somebody died

00:17:15.400 and he got

00:17:15.780 the lungs

00:17:16.300 man

00:17:16.600 you know

00:17:19.200 somebody died

00:17:20.000 and now

00:17:20.460 and now

00:17:21.160 uh nikki

00:17:21.860 you know

00:17:22.620 mickey's

00:17:23.000 playing the

00:17:23.420 fucking bag

00:17:23.920 you know

00:17:24.260 mickey's

00:17:24.860 playing somebody

00:17:25.380 else's bagpipes

00:17:26.420 but that's the

00:17:27.680 system that's how

00:17:28.440 it goes

00:17:29.060 well that leads

00:17:30.720 me into this

00:17:31.300 man i'll say

00:17:31.880 this perfect

00:17:32.480 timing support

00:17:33.260 for this past

00:17:33.860 weekend comes

00:17:34.320 from manscaped

00:17:35.300 who is number

00:17:36.400 one in men's

00:17:37.400 below the belt

00:17:38.020 grooming

00:17:38.500 manscaped

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00:17:42.480 with the right

00:17:43.460 tool for the

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00:17:44.600 and manscaping

00:17:46.700 i got their

00:17:47.200 package

00:17:47.600 they got that

00:17:48.260 2.0 kit

00:17:49.380 it features

00:17:49.980 that lawn

00:17:50.720 mower

00:17:51.100 trimmer

00:17:51.680 with that

00:17:52.520 skin safe

00:17:53.480 technology

00:17:54.240 and they got

00:17:55.860 them tools

00:17:56.400 where you

00:17:56.700 could really

00:17:57.080 you know

00:17:58.080 you could

00:17:58.400 un-junk

00:17:58.940 your junk

00:17:59.540 and un-funk

00:18:01.200 your skunk

00:18:01.860 you feel me

00:18:02.500 it's 100%

00:18:03.840 waterproof

00:18:04.300 they're shock

00:18:04.940 resistant

00:18:05.460 this trimmer

00:18:06.600 won't

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00:18:08.000 your nuts

00:18:08.660 shout out to

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00:18:10.580 our producer

00:18:11.120 your balls

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00:18:13.620 and you can

00:18:14.720 get 20%

00:18:15.440 off that

00:18:15.760 manscaped

00:18:16.440 if it's

00:18:16.840 mother's day

00:18:17.340 but your

00:18:17.660 father's kind

00:18:18.260 of a little

00:18:18.780 bit of a

00:18:19.440 bitch

00:18:20.020 then get him

00:18:21.060 this

00:18:21.520 happy mother's

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00:18:35.580 and use code

00:18:36.560 theo

00:18:37.120 but mirvart

00:18:39.560 man we used

00:18:40.060 to do

00:18:40.440 so somebody

00:18:41.040 told me

00:18:41.520 when i was

00:18:41.940 young

00:18:42.400 you know

00:18:43.940 i remember

00:18:44.340 when i was

00:18:44.820 a kid

00:18:45.260 somebody told

00:18:45.920 us that

00:18:46.280 if you

00:18:46.840 this is a

00:18:48.960 little bit

00:18:49.360 grotesque

00:18:49.860 and i'm

00:18:50.080 sorry to

00:18:50.400 get like

00:18:50.760 this i

00:18:51.120 know it's

00:18:51.680 it could

00:18:52.160 be morning

00:18:52.580 when you're

00:18:52.820 listening

00:18:53.120 if you

00:18:54.740 fought you

00:18:55.480 know if

00:18:56.120 you did

00:18:56.520 body gas

00:18:57.320 if you did

00:18:57.820 gas out of

00:18:58.460 your body

00:18:58.920 out of your

00:18:59.300 butt

00:18:59.640 then uh

00:19:01.520 on a

00:19:02.060 mirror

00:19:02.420 that you

00:19:03.400 could see

00:19:04.000 it

00:19:04.260 you know

00:19:06.300 that in

00:19:06.640 regular

00:19:07.020 if you

00:19:07.700 just you

00:19:08.620 know did

00:19:08.980 body gas

00:19:09.640 out into

00:19:09.900 the air

00:19:10.180 you can't

00:19:10.560 see it

00:19:11.040 you know

00:19:12.760 you could

00:19:13.080 obviously

00:19:13.960 it has a

00:19:14.740 you know

00:19:15.640 of mostly

00:19:16.880 violent scent

00:19:17.960 every now

00:19:18.540 you know

00:19:18.820 every maybe

00:19:19.260 2,000 body

00:19:20.340 gases you'll

00:19:21.060 get one

00:19:21.440 that's really

00:19:22.060 you're like

00:19:23.100 damn they

00:19:23.640 should you

00:19:24.640 know make

00:19:24.940 a good

00:19:25.240 candle out

00:19:25.800 of that

00:19:26.040 one that's

00:19:26.640 you know

00:19:28.220 something you

00:19:28.760 know things

00:19:29.440 are going

00:19:29.760 well but

00:19:31.240 the other

00:19:31.500 1,999

00:19:32.700 attempts at

00:19:35.920 body gas you

00:19:36.820 get something

00:19:37.300 naughty you

00:19:37.960 know you

00:19:38.880 get that

00:19:39.300 you know

00:19:39.740 you just

00:19:40.920 get that

00:19:41.260 booty ghost

00:19:41.940 that's out

00:19:42.360 there that's

00:19:42.700 haunting people's

00:19:44.060 senses but

00:19:46.200 someone had

00:19:46.800 told us I

00:19:47.320 remember when I

00:19:47.680 was a kid

00:19:48.200 someone told us

00:19:51.660 maybe they just

00:19:52.180 wrote it on the

00:19:52.720 sidewalk with a

00:19:53.480 knife but

00:19:54.000 that if you

00:19:55.780 you know did

00:19:56.940 body gas on a

00:19:57.800 mirror if you

00:19:58.540 were sitting on

00:19:59.300 a mirror or

00:20:00.080 near a mirror

00:20:01.000 like with your

00:20:01.520 butt you know

00:20:02.240 stood on the

00:20:03.120 sink with your

00:20:03.800 butt against the

00:20:04.400 mirror and you

00:20:06.460 did a gas that

00:20:08.120 you could see

00:20:09.720 it then it

00:20:10.260 would take a

00:20:10.900 you know as

00:20:12.360 if it was a

00:20:12.880 ghost or

00:20:13.340 something I

00:20:13.700 guess that's

00:20:14.080 how we

00:20:14.320 thought oh I

00:20:14.880 could see it I

00:20:15.480 could see what's

00:20:16.100 you know and

00:20:17.960 so that was it

00:20:18.760 man we'd sit on

00:20:19.520 these mirrors you

00:20:20.240 know we got a

00:20:20.740 couple mirrors they

00:20:21.480 had an old lady

00:20:24.460 that lived I mean

00:20:26.840 everybody had this

00:20:27.580 old lady that

00:20:28.120 lived we had an

00:20:28.720 old lady probably

00:20:29.240 about two and a

00:20:29.700 half blocks away

00:20:30.380 and her house I

00:20:31.840 think burned down

00:20:32.580 at some point I

00:20:33.340 mean that usually

00:20:33.900 happens with a lot

00:20:34.640 of those older

00:20:35.120 women but

00:20:36.440 but before it

00:20:37.280 happened we go

00:20:38.000 over there and

00:20:39.320 she would give us

00:20:39.980 a you know a

00:20:40.500 little couple

00:20:40.860 dimes or

00:20:41.480 whatever to water

00:20:42.180 the plants and

00:20:42.940 do this and

00:20:43.500 that you know

00:20:44.040 look for the

00:20:44.560 cats and I'll

00:20:46.600 tell you this

00:20:47.100 honestly man

00:20:48.020 she she all you

00:20:51.960 know she she

00:20:52.760 only had probably

00:20:53.960 two cats but

00:20:56.760 she paid us to

00:20:57.520 find about nine

00:20:58.440 cats so we'd

00:21:00.040 take one of the

00:21:00.640 cats bring it in

00:21:01.540 there show it to

00:21:02.680 her she would you

00:21:03.340 know say its name

00:21:04.160 and pet it then

00:21:05.280 then it would we'd

00:21:06.260 let it go and

00:21:06.860 say okay we're

00:21:07.340 gonna find the

00:21:07.840 other one and

00:21:09.180 then we'd go find

00:21:09.960 the same this the

00:21:11.160 you know they

00:21:11.620 only had two so

00:21:12.200 we find the other

00:21:12.880 one bring it in and

00:21:14.160 just keep going back

00:21:15.120 and forth until she

00:21:16.060 thought she'd seen

00:21:16.800 them all but really

00:21:18.000 it was just two

00:21:18.620 cats who were

00:21:19.200 psyched you know

00:21:19.980 we were you know

00:21:22.840 the old uh the

00:21:25.260 old cat you know

00:21:26.680 cat switch game

00:21:27.780 well so we got you

00:21:32.520 know we so next

00:21:33.580 thing you know we

00:21:34.080 showed her all the

00:21:34.640 cats we got these

00:21:35.420 dimes whatever but

00:21:36.620 anyway she had some

00:21:37.600 nice mirrors so I

00:21:40.160 know we'd be over

00:21:41.040 there and once you

00:21:41.660 got the cats out of

00:21:42.460 the way she we can

00:21:43.100 hang out in her

00:21:43.600 house she didn't even

00:21:44.280 know we're in there

00:21:44.940 you know we climb on

00:21:46.280 the shelves and you

00:21:47.940 know look at books or

00:21:49.040 whatever look at little

00:21:49.960 trinkets and this and

00:21:50.900 that and she had nice

00:21:52.280 drawers heavy wood and

00:21:53.500 you pull open a heavy

00:21:54.300 wood drawer and you

00:21:55.120 smell wood you know and

00:21:56.380 it was it just had a

00:21:59.700 different experience you

00:22:01.020 know being over there

00:22:01.920 you know all of her

00:22:03.300 stuff felt kind of old

00:22:04.320 and mysterious bro you

00:22:06.260 know felt like you

00:22:06.960 could just open up a

00:22:08.420 can of peas or a can

00:22:10.000 of carrots at her

00:22:10.700 house and a damn

00:22:12.340 spirit would pop out

00:22:13.580 it had that kind of

00:22:15.160 uh that kind of

00:22:17.480 momentum was just

00:22:18.480 built into the

00:22:19.240 environment well

00:22:20.720 anyway so um

00:22:24.060 what am I fucking

00:22:27.020 telling oh man what

00:22:27.780 am I talking about

00:22:28.440 oh so she had these

00:22:30.440 nice mirrors big ones

00:22:31.880 that we could set on

00:22:32.500 the floor take them

00:22:33.340 off the wall set them

00:22:34.080 on the floor and you

00:22:35.200 do body you sit on

00:22:36.280 there with your butt

00:22:36.980 out do body gas and

00:22:39.140 look for the uh ghost

00:22:40.520 you know but we never

00:22:41.860 saw anything

00:22:42.600 you know we never saw

00:22:46.120 I mean people would

00:22:46.820 lie and say they saw

00:22:47.680 something but nobody

00:22:48.220 ever saw anything man

00:22:49.240 but that reminds me of

00:22:50.660 that mirror vart and

00:22:52.400 that's at the mirror

00:22:53.380 vart uh in

00:22:57.260 Amsterdam Netherlands

00:22:58.340 and that's September

00:22:59.800 24th and that's that

00:23:01.080 uh but yeah thank

00:23:02.740 everybody so much man

00:23:03.500 I'm overwhelmed at uh

00:23:04.480 you know the amount of

00:23:05.240 support uh people that

00:23:07.180 are going to come out

00:23:07.760 and see the shows just

00:23:09.040 you know man it just

00:23:12.800 really feels like a

00:23:13.500 dream come true in a

00:23:14.500 lot of ways um so

00:23:19.140 thank you thank you uh

00:23:21.080 very very much to

00:23:22.280 everyone and when they

00:23:23.940 came out of New York

00:23:24.580 City this weekend man

00:23:26.920 it was a wild time I

00:23:28.500 mean Carl Lentz

00:23:30.360 popped through uh the

00:23:32.480 pastor and he's going

00:23:33.980 to come and be a guest

00:23:34.720 at some point um we

00:23:38.320 had a father son pair

00:23:39.820 that came through that

00:23:40.840 had you know they

00:23:41.640 drove from about two

00:23:42.480 hours we had people

00:23:43.380 that drove from

00:23:43.960 Vermont people that

00:23:45.240 drove from Delaware

00:23:45.840 people that drove down

00:23:46.660 from Canada and came

00:23:48.960 in we had a young

00:23:50.920 man I put this thing

00:23:51.720 on my Instagram

00:23:52.200 giving me a beautiful

00:23:52.900 skateboard like Beyonce

00:23:55.280 you know like that

00:23:57.320 you know and they had

00:24:00.620 I mean just some really

00:24:02.540 nice gifts somebody gave

00:24:04.980 me a Daryl Strawberry

00:24:06.500 book really cool and

00:24:07.940 then a taxi because

00:24:09.700 everybody knows I do

00:24:10.420 that story um but let

00:24:12.940 me get into a little

00:24:13.680 bit of this episode man

00:24:14.720 while I still have my

00:24:15.480 hat on and while I'm

00:24:16.200 still feeling you know

00:24:17.240 you know like I'm

00:24:19.280 that comfort cat oh

00:24:22.220 a lot of cats in this

00:24:23.380 episode just realize

00:24:25.300 that yeah man we go to

00:24:27.740 that lady's house and

00:24:28.860 you know what I wonder

00:24:29.820 in hindsight maybe she

00:24:30.900 knew that she only had

00:24:32.080 not two cats you know

00:24:38.160 maybe she knew maybe

00:24:39.180 we thought that she

00:24:40.280 didn't have the

00:24:40.840 awareness but she did

00:24:42.040 and so that way we just

00:24:43.520 got to spend more time

00:24:44.560 over there

00:24:45.140 and they gave us

00:24:47.540 something to do maybe

00:24:48.420 she knew we didn't

00:24:49.200 have much to do you

00:24:50.300 know and she would do

00:24:52.960 that you know and I

00:24:56.040 remember she I remember

00:24:57.000 now actually she spent

00:24:58.020 she split out split a

00:24:59.440 can of them frank and

00:25:00.380 uh wieners you know

00:25:01.340 used to have these cans

00:25:02.760 bean and wieners they

00:25:05.200 used to have these cans

00:25:06.020 called uh bean and

00:25:07.120 wieners and it was a can

00:25:08.720 of beans and wiener and

00:25:10.240 they cut up half a wiener

00:25:11.340 in there and it looked

00:25:14.280 like they cut the

00:25:14.880 wiener with a spoon

00:25:15.720 because the edges of

00:25:16.560 the wiener cut they

00:25:17.580 weren't straight there

00:25:19.760 were those uh convex them

00:25:23.140 convex cuts you get that

00:25:24.600 wean you know usually you

00:25:26.240 get a cut a wiener it's you

00:25:28.280 know it's the the width of

00:25:29.780 the wing and then it's that

00:25:31.520 where the cuts are them

00:25:33.240 chops but on these big uh

00:25:36.120 uh we weenie ween bean ween

00:25:43.840 beaners on these ween and

00:25:45.480 beaners they had um the cut

00:25:48.480 the the cuts on the wiener

00:25:51.600 were you know convex or

00:25:55.080 something like you're trying

00:25:55.660 to see the moon you know

00:25:56.820 through glass but the uh

00:25:59.840 oh shit man what i'm

00:26:02.400 talking about but she

00:26:03.500 would cut open a can of

00:26:04.600 those and we'd have them

00:26:06.540 over there me and little

00:26:08.540 daniel be over there

00:26:09.480 having a man and i'll tell

00:26:11.740 you this about daniel man

00:26:13.020 people forget about him

00:26:14.140 and don't want to think

00:26:14.840 about him dude daniel was

00:26:17.100 up to no good man most of

00:26:21.040 the time but i'll say this

00:26:23.620 a lot of times they had

00:26:24.560 rumors going around this is

00:26:25.900 back when rumors was really

00:26:27.540 the most popular way to know

00:26:28.900 about stuff and these days

00:26:30.520 thanks to all the uh you

00:26:32.240 know mainstream media being

00:26:33.460 a bunch of dog shit it's

00:26:35.040 welcome back rumors so the

00:26:39.680 um you know daniel would get

00:26:42.360 in there and he uh he would

00:26:44.680 eat the when he'd eat you

00:26:45.680 know he'd always steal a

00:26:46.580 chunk of my ween out of the

00:26:48.460 uh out of my bean and

00:26:50.380 wieners you know and and and

00:26:54.960 in hindsight i remember a

00:26:57.460 couple times he got sick

00:26:58.580 because he he stole that

00:27:00.480 chunk see there's just two

00:27:02.720 sides this there's two sides

00:27:04.540 to everything you know he

00:27:06.700 stole that chunk and he got

00:27:07.820 sick and i didn't get sick

00:27:08.900 because i would just wait to

00:27:10.520 see how he did how he fared

00:27:12.600 after that chunk of frank and

00:27:14.720 then i would just bean around

00:27:16.060 him if he looked like he was

00:27:17.680 getting real sweaty halfway

00:27:19.640 into his own bowl i say damn

00:27:21.240 i'm you know you know you've

00:27:25.740 heard of frank sinatra well i'm

00:27:27.120 saying sayonara franks because

00:27:29.920 i'm saying bye bye to these

00:27:31.220 frank chunks to these you know

00:27:33.380 ween these ween cuts and i

00:27:35.660 wouldn't have them because

00:27:36.920 little daniel be over there

00:27:37.880 sweating dude and when he

00:27:40.120 sweat his shirt he he had this

00:27:42.500 like a i guess his shirt he had

00:27:46.060 maybe one of those constricting

00:27:47.300 shirts so when he got real

00:27:48.900 sweaty his shirt would get even

00:27:49.980 smaller but let's get into a

00:27:51.900 couple of calls man those

00:27:52.740 european dates are out thank

00:27:54.060 you know so much um a lot of

00:27:56.720 people have called in last week

00:27:57.920 i was talking about you know

00:27:59.680 father-son relationship and uh

00:28:02.580 man i got so many nice

00:28:04.580 responses and messages and just

00:28:07.380 wanted to say thank you uh just

00:28:09.120 thanks for you know just thanks

00:28:12.080 for not judging me while i think

00:28:13.200 about stuff um you know i

00:28:18.300 appreciate that like you know

00:28:20.740 that's why i don't like sometimes

00:28:22.240 it's hard to be in this world i

00:28:23.420 think for a lot of us because

00:28:24.740 we created an environment we

00:28:27.820 didn't the dark arts created an

00:28:30.940 environment where we can't even

00:28:33.220 think or feel or share sometimes

00:28:36.280 without being judged you know and

00:28:40.840 i'm not saying that i don't do that

00:28:42.060 sometimes we all do it but i'll be

00:28:45.240 damned if some if there's people

00:28:46.780 out there making a business out of

00:28:48.080 it uh man it makes me mad

00:28:52.060 um so but maybe inadvertently i do

00:28:58.620 you know like i we never know what

00:29:00.860 we do sometimes until we figure it

00:29:02.880 out but but i just want to say i get

00:29:05.640 a lot of nice just people that can

00:29:07.620 relate people that are sharing their

00:29:08.720 own stories with me and it just makes

00:29:10.200 me feel and then when i hear somebody

00:29:11.840 else's story or they're sharing

00:29:13.880 something man it makes me feel like a

00:29:15.860 human

00:29:18.080 because it makes me feel wow you

00:29:19.740 know i have feelings i care about

00:29:21.200 what this person's saying i have

00:29:24.080 feelings man it reminds me it reminds

00:29:28.300 me that i have feelings because the

00:29:32.080 feelings man this you know the sugar

00:29:34.080 lizard goes for whatever but whatever

00:29:40.620 that other animal is that feeling

00:29:42.320 animal

00:29:42.840 he's more like a sloth you know he's

00:29:47.660 easy you know he's around the surface

00:29:49.720 man but he gets scared to kind of peek

00:29:51.240 around sometime

00:29:51.980 maybe he is like a cat

00:29:54.320 maybe that feeling line

00:29:58.680 or that feline that feel line

00:30:02.320 yeah

00:30:03.080 that's what it is man

00:30:05.140 so if i don't go with that sugar

00:30:07.140 lizard then i can i can be patient

00:30:08.860 and i can have a little bit of that

00:30:09.780 feel line

00:30:10.520 feel what choice i make not just

00:30:13.320 not just that sugar lizard get

00:30:15.080 whatever

00:30:15.460 what is that a snicker a titty

00:30:16.880 whatever

00:30:17.420 you got to beware that sugar lizard

00:30:19.920 that first thing

00:30:20.820 and that's who all these advertisers

00:30:23.200 and all these

00:30:23.740 you know

00:30:24.600 all those bulls that's who they

00:30:26.060 selling to

00:30:26.580 they selling to that sugar lizard

00:30:28.240 oh you got a dime let me set that

00:30:30.140 right over there

00:30:30.880 what's that a twinkie

00:30:32.400 what's that a nipple

00:30:33.960 what's that a fake uh

00:30:36.520 you know

00:30:37.660 uh fake

00:30:39.820 neck you know

00:30:41.100 neck installment or whatever

00:30:42.800 fake titty

00:30:43.440 they sell you all of that

00:30:45.800 set it right there

00:30:46.460 that's what you need

00:30:47.300 get that let that sugar lizard

00:30:49.820 bites whatever

00:30:50.480 first thing out there

00:30:51.580 you when you when you let that

00:30:55.580 when you what just wait

00:30:56.500 don't sugar don't don't don't sugar

00:30:58.380 you can sugar you can feel the sugar

00:31:00.360 don't lizard

00:31:01.020 don't let that fucking little

00:31:03.080 reptile rep

00:31:04.160 don't let him rep you

00:31:05.760 i'll wait back

00:31:08.220 i'll try and wait back

00:31:11.620 let that feel line

00:31:14.040 what do i feel

00:31:15.540 what do i really need to do for me

00:31:17.580 right now

00:31:18.500 to be okay

00:31:20.240 what do i really need to do

00:31:27.740 right now to be okay

00:31:28.720 to really be okay

00:31:29.880 and that feel line man i notice

00:31:34.880 whenever you know people come up

00:31:36.320 and are accepting

00:31:36.920 and you know share

00:31:37.960 or just

00:31:38.800 you know i'm just grateful to have

00:31:40.060 an environment here where we can

00:31:41.360 share stuff and not feel judged

00:31:42.960 and maybe there are people out there

00:31:44.620 that judge

00:31:44.980 and sometimes look man

00:31:46.020 i'll be the first to tell you

00:31:47.180 sometimes i'm a real

00:31:48.220 you know

00:31:49.480 sometimes i'm way too caught up

00:31:51.180 in my feelings

00:31:51.720 and i can't get out of it

00:31:52.960 you know

00:31:54.820 and that

00:31:55.140 look that's where i am right now

00:31:56.960 but i also you know

00:31:59.520 i mean

00:32:00.000 i i try to

00:32:01.220 i try to be out there

00:32:02.520 and get past some of this stuff

00:32:04.080 and i feel a lot better

00:32:06.740 than i used to

00:32:07.460 you know

00:32:07.660 i got a lot more tools

00:32:08.560 but every now and then

00:32:09.580 your feelings flare up

00:32:11.400 and that's okay

00:32:14.320 i mean sometimes we go through

00:32:17.160 episodes we don't even talk

00:32:17.960 about anything like that

00:32:18.880 but uh

00:32:20.540 but i just want to say

00:32:22.380 i'm grateful to have that

00:32:23.020 sort of environment here

00:32:23.980 where people don't always

00:32:25.320 just sugar lizard

00:32:26.060 oh look at this love

00:32:27.200 yes they're talking about

00:32:28.300 his feelings again

00:32:29.580 uh

00:32:32.380 because i think we have a world

00:32:33.960 that don't let us feel enough

00:32:35.180 that don't let us explore enough

00:32:36.700 you know

00:32:37.640 that don't let us just

00:32:38.720 be brave to share

00:32:40.120 and to say

00:32:40.780 you know

00:32:42.200 and we don't do that here

00:32:43.240 you know

00:32:44.760 we don't

00:32:45.180 i mean i hear this

00:32:46.880 in a lot of different rooms

00:32:47.780 but we don't hear our

00:32:48.480 we don't

00:32:48.900 we don't

00:32:49.420 we don't kill our wounded

00:32:50.540 this ain't hollywood

00:32:53.160 um

00:32:55.760 whatever

00:32:57.120 i don't know what i'm talking about now

00:32:58.340 i'm just getting weird

00:32:58.940 uh

00:32:59.420 okay let's get into a couple of calls man

00:33:00.880 thank you guys so much for the calls

00:33:02.360 thank you guys so much for

00:33:03.580 hitting the hotline

00:33:04.560 as always

00:33:04.920 985-664-9503

00:33:07.900 um

00:33:08.860 a lot of cities have new

00:33:10.720 uh

00:33:11.520 tickets that went on sale

00:33:12.460 for the regular shows

00:33:13.580 so you could check your city

00:33:15.060 i think vancouver has a new show

00:33:17.280 now on wednesday night up there

00:33:18.980 um

00:33:20.020 austin we added a show

00:33:21.880 i believe sacramento

00:33:23.360 we added a show

00:33:24.420 uh

00:33:25.320 so there's other shows

00:33:26.280 in the in the u.s.

00:33:27.160 that have new ones

00:33:27.900 um

00:33:29.000 so

00:33:29.940 thank you so much

00:33:31.300 for your uh

00:33:32.460 support

00:33:32.860 i also want to say

00:33:34.520 if you want to support the podcast

00:33:35.840 get your crotch well

00:33:38.080 and get your crotch warm

00:33:40.000 you know

00:33:41.540 sometimes i need that extra

00:33:42.580 that extra protection

00:33:43.800 that extra softness

00:33:44.680 by my jump

00:33:45.360 you know

00:33:46.920 you spend about 90%

00:33:48.100 of your life

00:33:48.580 in your underwear

00:33:49.200 that's crazy isn't it

00:33:50.400 think about that

00:33:51.200 okay

00:33:53.180 you thought about it

00:33:54.360 don't you think

00:33:55.220 you owe it to yourself

00:33:56.220 to make sure

00:33:57.200 you're wearing them

00:33:57.900 softest undies in town

00:33:59.360 don't you don't you want

00:34:01.200 women or men

00:34:02.520 if you also have time

00:34:03.700 that you do stuff

00:34:05.040 with men

00:34:05.880 or prefer that

00:34:07.480 that you want that women

00:34:09.820 or that man

00:34:10.820 to say

00:34:11.240 damn

00:34:12.020 you know

00:34:13.760 he

00:34:14.000 you know

00:34:15.240 he

00:34:16.700 you know

00:34:17.340 he

00:34:17.740 he had kind of

00:34:18.920 small wiener

00:34:19.780 but he had the softest

00:34:20.860 undies in town

00:34:21.680 that's what you want

00:34:22.460 them to say

00:34:23.100 they're so soft

00:34:25.820 you don't even know

00:34:26.280 you had them on

00:34:26.820 dude the other day

00:34:27.460 I thought I was stripping

00:34:28.480 I thought I had

00:34:29.780 I thought I was stripping

00:34:30.980 right

00:34:31.280 I had a dream

00:34:32.560 I was in a strip club

00:34:33.680 I think I'm on the pole

00:34:35.000 I'm butt naked

00:34:35.740 nobody's giving me any money

00:34:36.980 because I had on me undies

00:34:38.560 so soft

00:34:39.460 you don't notice them

00:34:40.240 they got all kind of

00:34:41.580 different prints

00:34:42.160 and styles

00:34:42.720 little you know

00:34:43.700 doodads

00:34:44.320 and this and that

00:34:45.140 jangle bell

00:34:46.080 christmas shape

00:34:47.760 hearts

00:34:48.240 whatever

00:34:48.680 and they got matching stuff

00:34:50.000 for you and the ladies

00:34:50.980 you know

00:34:52.340 that way maybe

00:34:53.340 you both

00:34:53.680 you guys both decide

00:34:54.700 okay

00:34:55.040 if we match tonight

00:34:56.420 we do a little bit of sexual

00:34:57.680 and if we don't match

00:34:59.120 then we do it tomorrow night

00:35:00.220 that way you leave it up

00:35:01.060 to the gods

00:35:01.700 men can now try

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00:35:39.020 go to

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00:35:42.600 and again

00:35:44.100 that's

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00:35:47.560 if you just get

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00:35:48.820 you may get

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00:35:50.340 you may

00:35:50.880 that's not definite

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00:35:52.640 that you do

00:35:53.220 but try them out

00:35:55.540 meundies.com

00:35:56.540 slash weekend

00:35:57.200 also Mother's Day

00:35:59.100 is coming up

00:35:59.580 it's this week

00:36:00.220 so do something now

00:36:01.520 take that action now

00:36:03.280 get those

00:36:05.520 Mother Nature

00:36:06.480 hitters

00:36:07.000 for your mother

00:36:07.680 today's episode

00:36:09.120 is brought to you

00:36:09.680 by Pro Flowers

00:36:10.980 Mother's Day

00:36:11.980 is coming up

00:36:12.700 and don't be that boy

00:36:14.500 that's you know

00:36:15.140 drawing your mom

00:36:16.000 something in the other room

00:36:17.100 with a piece of

00:36:18.320 you know

00:36:18.680 printer paper

00:36:19.760 and a black sharpie

00:36:21.900 at the last minute

00:36:22.680 love you mom

00:36:23.680 I owe you

00:36:25.120 don't do that

00:36:25.920 you know

00:36:27.620 I've had a lot

00:36:28.660 of special moms

00:36:29.380 in my life

00:36:29.940 over the years

00:36:30.800 you know

00:36:31.640 my own mother

00:36:32.420 you know

00:36:34.600 a woman named

00:36:35.280 Belinda

00:36:36.120 that I know

00:36:36.600 cared about me

00:36:37.200 a lot

00:36:37.460 when I was real young

00:36:38.260 she was a babysitter

00:36:39.120 but she was very motherly

00:36:40.200 one of my kindergarten

00:36:42.280 teachers

00:36:42.600 Miss Pam

00:36:43.100 one of my first teachers

00:36:43.880 Miss Connaughton

00:36:44.660 who else

00:36:47.980 Mr. Alder

00:36:48.640 he was almost like

00:36:49.300 a mother to me

00:36:49.820 he was a tender man

00:36:51.660 who else

00:36:53.280 Miss Trudy

00:36:57.220 Miss Wendy

00:36:58.360 Miss Frankie

00:36:59.580 you know

00:37:00.900 Miss Linda

00:37:02.500 you know

00:37:03.920 one of my best friends

00:37:04.960 Ryan

00:37:05.280 when I was

00:37:05.760 in college

00:37:06.840 he passed away

00:37:07.660 and his mother

00:37:08.240 and I

00:37:08.460 have been friends

00:37:08.960 since

00:37:09.320 and she just

00:37:09.780 got married

00:37:10.300 and God bless them

00:37:11.180 bless her heart

00:37:12.960 man

00:37:13.240 beautiful lady

00:37:13.980 but anyway

00:37:14.780 those are all women

00:37:15.560 that I could get

00:37:16.140 something special for

00:37:16.900 and they wouldn't

00:37:17.320 think anything of it

00:37:18.380 Pro Flowers

00:37:20.320 lets you choose

00:37:20.980 from a variety

00:37:21.840 of bouquets

00:37:22.580 and unique vases

00:37:24.080 that suit every mom's

00:37:25.780 lifestyle

00:37:26.220 your mom likes to do

00:37:27.340 guns and everything

00:37:28.120 she's in the army

00:37:28.840 get that grenade launcher

00:37:30.580 vase

00:37:31.200 with a couple of little

00:37:32.660 you know

00:37:33.800 florals in it

00:37:35.040 then you simply

00:37:36.740 select the delivery

00:37:37.840 date you want

00:37:38.540 pick out the bouquet

00:37:39.360 pick out the vase

00:37:40.420 Pro Flowers

00:37:41.900 carefully packages

00:37:42.860 your flowers

00:37:43.620 and delivers them

00:37:45.060 fresh from the farm

00:37:46.860 these flowers

00:37:48.480 ain't coming

00:37:48.880 from some trap

00:37:49.760 house

00:37:50.060 they ain't gonna

00:37:50.500 have you know

00:37:51.160 a little bit

00:37:51.900 of coke dust

00:37:52.680 on a petal

00:37:53.420 you know

00:37:54.360 one of the

00:37:54.860 you know

00:37:55.400 one of the orchids

00:37:56.200 ain't gonna be

00:37:56.720 fucking addicted

00:37:57.740 to opioids

00:37:58.540 one of them

00:37:59.740 opi orchids

00:38:00.660 you know

00:38:01.640 he's over there

00:38:02.360 you know

00:38:02.720 and he

00:38:03.020 you know

00:38:03.360 he's beautiful

00:38:03.960 but he's also

00:38:04.680 fucking

00:38:05.220 you know

00:38:06.820 he's stuffing

00:38:07.740 things in his own

00:38:08.540 stem hole

00:38:09.280 you know

00:38:09.900 them pills

00:38:10.880 them hitters

00:38:11.560 them fentanyls

00:38:12.480 your mother

00:38:15.060 will love it

00:38:15.540 right now

00:38:15.920 get one dozen

00:38:16.860 assorted roses

00:38:17.820 for $19.99

00:38:18.920 and you can

00:38:20.000 double the roses

00:38:20.820 and get a premium

00:38:21.640 vase

00:38:22.360 for just $9.99

00:38:23.820 more

00:38:24.440 visit

00:38:25.600 proflowers.com

00:38:27.580 click the microphone

00:38:29.220 in the upper right

00:38:29.920 corner

00:38:30.260 and enter the code

00:38:31.520 weekend

00:38:32.180 that's

00:38:33.220 proflowers.com

00:38:34.500 click the microphone

00:38:35.440 and the code

00:38:36.480 is weekend

00:38:37.480 mother's day

00:38:38.560 is May 12th

00:38:40.040 so don't wait

00:38:40.900 order like a pro

00:38:41.680 and get this amazing

00:38:42.480 rose deal

00:38:43.120 to thank all the

00:38:43.800 moms in your life

00:38:44.680 wow that's pretty

00:38:46.640 cool

00:38:46.900 and don't forget

00:38:48.580 man don't forget

00:38:49.180 to thank those

00:38:49.700 mothers

00:38:50.020 and I want to

00:38:51.200 thank actually

00:38:51.720 right now

00:38:52.240 you know

00:38:53.220 all our

00:38:53.560 patreoners

00:38:54.360 sorry I feel

00:38:56.740 like I'm talking

00:38:57.240 too much

00:38:57.760 sometimes I just

00:38:59.240 get kind of

00:38:59.680 going and I feel

00:39:00.320 like I'm talking

00:39:00.820 too much

00:39:01.220 sometimes

00:39:01.720 you know

00:39:04.160 the people

00:39:04.460 that support

00:39:04.880 our patreoners

00:39:05.580 that's how

00:39:05.940 we are able

00:39:06.860 to do nice

00:39:07.420 things for

00:39:08.220 the single

00:39:09.600 moms

00:39:10.000 and get

00:39:10.900 that cash

00:39:11.480 where we

00:39:11.720 hide the

00:39:12.140 you know

00:39:12.640 we hide

00:39:12.940 money in

00:39:13.320 the hotel

00:39:13.740 room for

00:39:14.080 the cleaning

00:39:14.460 ladies

00:39:14.840 and those

00:39:16.860 things are on

00:39:17.260 the youtube

00:39:17.660 but that's

00:39:19.160 what our

00:39:19.380 patreon goes

00:39:20.020 to

00:39:20.320 you know

00:39:21.040 our patreon

00:39:21.420 isn't really

00:39:21.840 big

00:39:22.060 a lot of

00:39:22.400 people run

00:39:22.880 their whole

00:39:23.360 you know

00:39:24.200 podcast off

00:39:24.800 their patreon

00:39:25.280 we don't do

00:39:25.780 that here

00:39:26.260 you know

00:39:27.040 and not

00:39:27.300 that and

00:39:27.880 that's okay

00:39:28.460 no shade

00:39:29.180 on anybody's

00:39:29.900 but how we

00:39:31.380 find things

00:39:32.660 to do

00:39:33.740 you know

00:39:35.860 outreach and

00:39:36.580 stuff is

00:39:37.440 through our

00:39:37.740 patreon

00:39:38.120 and

00:39:39.500 I just

00:39:40.100 want to

00:39:40.340 say that

00:39:41.040 we are

00:39:41.480 going to

00:39:41.980 reach out

00:39:42.440 to all

00:39:42.780 the single

00:39:43.160 moms

00:39:43.520 that we

00:39:44.420 have

00:39:44.960 that we

00:39:46.620 brought out

00:39:47.080 to shows

00:39:47.640 over the

00:39:48.100 past year

00:39:48.860 year and a

00:39:49.340 half

00:39:49.680 and we're

00:39:50.360 going to

00:39:50.540 send all

00:39:51.000 of them

00:39:51.260 some

00:39:51.620 flowers

00:39:52.820 so I

00:39:55.540 just thought

00:39:55.860 of that

00:39:56.240 but

00:39:56.820 but we're

00:39:59.380 going to do

00:39:59.620 that so

00:40:00.260 that's

00:40:00.500 something our

00:40:00.800 patreon is

00:40:01.220 going to do

00:40:01.480 so if you

00:40:01.880 are a

00:40:02.220 patreon

00:40:02.580 supporter

00:40:03.080 just know

00:40:03.880 that already

00:40:04.560 this weekend

00:40:05.700 you bought

00:40:06.260 flowers for

00:40:07.120 about 12

00:40:07.560 different single

00:40:08.100 moms around

00:40:08.560 America

00:40:09.000 and the

00:40:10.480 cards they

00:40:10.980 don't say

00:40:11.280 this from

00:40:11.840 me it

00:40:12.200 says this

00:40:12.560 from us

00:40:13.180 and so

00:40:15.440 I hope you

00:40:15.780 feel good

00:40:16.120 about that

00:40:16.440 because I

00:40:16.720 do

00:40:16.960 you know

00:40:18.040 I do

00:40:18.520 you know

00:40:21.620 I was

00:40:21.760 thinking the

00:40:22.080 other day

00:40:22.420 that when

00:40:22.880 we look at

00:40:23.420 our mother

00:40:24.040 and this

00:40:24.880 has been on

00:40:25.120 my mind

00:40:25.460 a lot

00:40:25.940 when we

00:40:26.640 look at

00:40:26.960 our mom

00:40:27.540 if you

00:40:28.140 are raised

00:40:28.820 by a single

00:40:29.400 parent

00:40:29.920 as a child

00:40:31.580 you look at

00:40:32.000 that parent

00:40:32.520 and you

00:40:34.480 hold them

00:40:35.120 accountable

00:40:35.460 for

00:40:35.820 motherly

00:40:37.100 stuff

00:40:37.380 and fatherly

00:40:38.360 stuff

00:40:38.640 you don't

00:40:38.920 even realize

00:40:39.540 it

00:40:39.860 because you

00:40:40.360 need it

00:40:40.700 all

00:40:41.000 you need

00:40:41.860 it all

00:40:42.160 as a child

00:40:42.740 and we

00:40:44.220 hold our

00:40:45.000 mom accountable

00:40:45.720 for fatherly

00:40:46.540 ways

00:40:47.000 and not only

00:40:47.920 that but then

00:40:48.380 the mother

00:40:48.800 also has to

00:40:49.640 be a father

00:40:50.280 and it gets

00:40:52.080 really jumbly

00:40:52.900 man

00:40:53.280 for me it

00:40:53.940 did anyway

00:40:54.540 you know

00:40:55.880 I'm sorry

00:40:56.260 for me it

00:40:57.120 got jumbly

00:40:57.780 and only now

00:40:59.520 am I able to

00:41:00.040 kind of look

00:41:00.480 through some

00:41:00.920 of that

00:41:01.240 and

00:41:01.500 and start

00:41:02.640 to be able

00:41:03.020 to sort

00:41:03.420 it out

00:41:03.720 and wonder

00:41:04.060 well why

00:41:04.520 do I

00:41:04.900 why this

00:41:05.980 and why

00:41:06.320 that

00:41:06.740 you know

00:41:08.240 am I

00:41:09.240 holding my

00:41:09.680 mother

00:41:09.940 accountable

00:41:10.360 for things

00:41:11.480 that

00:41:11.820 that

00:41:13.900 a father

00:41:14.820 should have

00:41:15.100 been there

00:41:15.320 for

00:41:15.460 am I

00:41:15.660 holding my

00:41:16.020 father

00:41:16.400 for things

00:41:17.080 that a

00:41:17.320 mother

00:41:17.480 should have

00:41:17.760 been there

00:41:18.040 for

00:41:18.340 and not

00:41:19.720 even

00:41:19.900 know

00:41:20.140 and not

00:41:20.400 even

00:41:20.580 realizing

00:41:21.040 it

00:41:21.360 but

00:41:22.920 mother's

00:41:23.260 day is

00:41:23.460 a great

00:41:23.740 opportunity

00:41:24.140 to reconnect

00:41:24.640 with somebody

00:41:25.920 that you

00:41:26.240 care about

00:41:26.860 so

00:41:29.300 from

00:41:30.340 me

00:41:31.440 to all

00:41:31.660 the single

00:41:31.940 moms

00:41:32.180 out there

00:41:32.620 we love

00:41:34.140 you guys

00:41:34.640 and thank you

00:41:35.380 for all the

00:41:35.700 hard work

00:41:36.040 that you

00:41:36.360 do

00:41:36.600 and we

00:41:37.300 know

00:41:37.440 it's not

00:41:37.800 easy

00:41:38.040 sometimes

00:41:38.520 you know

00:41:39.300 I can only

00:41:39.680 imagine

00:41:40.020 if your

00:41:40.340 husband

00:41:40.640 or something

00:41:41.140 whoever

00:41:41.420 created this

00:41:42.180 child

00:41:42.480 with you

00:41:43.000 left you

00:41:44.380 and men

00:41:44.820 too

00:41:45.120 you know

00:41:45.900 if whoever

00:41:46.240 created that

00:41:47.160 child with you

00:41:47.760 left

00:41:48.200 and left you

00:41:49.760 to care

00:41:50.120 about them

00:41:50.640 man

00:41:51.860 there's got

00:41:52.220 to be

00:41:52.440 an anger

00:41:53.400 there

00:41:53.660 and angst

00:41:54.380 you know

00:41:56.180 that man

00:41:58.420 they didn't

00:41:58.700 even care

00:41:59.060 about it

00:41:59.440 enough

00:41:59.840 about you

00:42:00.300 to stay

00:42:00.720 in this

00:42:01.180 they didn't

00:42:01.440 care

00:42:01.580 enough

00:42:01.840 about the

00:42:02.160 child

00:42:02.420 to really

00:42:02.700 stay

00:42:03.000 in it

00:42:03.360 or to

00:42:03.580 help

00:42:03.860 and then

00:42:05.660 you have

00:42:05.920 to be

00:42:06.080 even stronger

00:42:06.620 and not

00:42:07.040 tell the

00:42:07.440 kid that

00:42:07.820 you can't

00:42:08.400 you can't

00:42:09.240 you can't

00:42:09.940 really

00:42:10.100 bastardize

00:42:10.880 that other

00:42:11.280 parent

00:42:11.720 because

00:42:13.480 it's

00:42:14.080 so I'm

00:42:14.580 sure

00:42:14.760 just a lot

00:42:15.440 of levels

00:42:15.880 going on

00:42:16.360 I'm not

00:42:16.660 in that

00:42:16.960 space

00:42:17.300 but I can

00:42:17.680 only imagine

00:42:18.400 what it's

00:42:18.800 like

00:42:19.160 you know

00:42:22.060 but

00:42:24.360 man

00:42:25.500 what a

00:42:25.760 beautiful

00:42:25.980 job

00:42:26.480 what else

00:42:31.460 oh

00:42:32.200 so I got

00:42:32.940 a couple

00:42:33.140 Patreon

00:42:33.480 questions

00:42:33.900 that came

00:42:34.300 in

00:42:34.540 so

00:42:34.920 these

00:42:35.500 are

00:42:36.200 Victor

00:42:39.800 S.

00:42:40.780 Johnson

00:42:41.100 the second

00:42:41.640 asked

00:42:42.140 in a previous

00:42:42.700 episode

00:42:43.040 you mentioned

00:42:43.400 you don't

00:42:43.660 feel a sense

00:42:44.060 of community

00:42:44.560 out in Los

00:42:45.000 Angeles

00:42:45.260 has that

00:42:45.660 changed

00:42:46.080 at all

00:42:46.540 you know

00:42:47.920 what

00:42:48.160 since

00:42:48.460 podcasting

00:42:49.180 it has

00:42:49.460 changed

00:42:49.840 I've kind

00:42:50.180 of built

00:42:50.460 my own

00:42:50.780 community

00:42:51.220 a little

00:42:51.560 bit

00:42:51.700 or not

00:42:52.000 we've

00:42:53.180 built

00:42:53.340 a community

00:42:53.920 and also

00:42:55.140 since I

00:42:55.620 got into

00:42:56.500 12 step

00:42:59.940 programs

00:43:00.540 since I

00:43:02.020 got into

00:43:02.360 that sort

00:43:02.780 of thing

00:43:03.160 for me

00:43:03.720 I have

00:43:04.160 much more

00:43:04.500 of a sense

00:43:04.820 of community

00:43:05.320 I have

00:43:05.880 people every

00:43:06.240 day now

00:43:06.560 that I can

00:43:06.880 call and

00:43:07.260 reach out

00:43:07.660 to

00:43:07.940 that are

00:43:09.020 reaching out

00:43:09.420 to me

00:43:09.900 you know

00:43:10.740 I have

00:43:11.000 meetings

00:43:11.280 that I

00:43:11.500 go to

00:43:11.900 or I

00:43:12.120 meet up

00:43:12.380 with

00:43:12.520 others

00:43:12.960 so there

00:43:13.980 has been

00:43:14.240 a sense

00:43:14.520 of community

00:43:14.960 there

00:43:15.420 at the

00:43:16.620 comedy store

00:43:17.300 that's

00:43:17.920 become a

00:43:18.340 sense

00:43:18.560 of community

00:43:19.280 it's just

00:43:20.300 taking a lot

00:43:20.860 longer

00:43:21.180 to find

00:43:21.780 and I

00:43:26.920 do think

00:43:27.340 also

00:43:27.800 that

00:43:28.680 LA to me

00:43:31.100 just feels

00:43:31.500 more and more

00:43:32.020 like an

00:43:32.320 airport

00:43:32.600 it feels

00:43:33.040 like

00:43:33.300 like an

00:43:34.500 international

00:43:35.000 airport

00:43:35.620 even all

00:43:36.340 the way

00:43:36.580 from when

00:43:36.860 you leave

00:43:37.320 when you

00:43:37.740 leave the

00:43:38.080 airport

00:43:38.400 at LAX

00:43:39.320 it still

00:43:40.380 feels like

00:43:40.820 an airport

00:43:41.280 like the

00:43:42.520 whole time

00:43:42.900 I'm here

00:43:43.160 whether I'm

00:43:43.620 at home

00:43:44.160 at work

00:43:44.940 wherever

00:43:45.400 it all

00:43:46.080 feels like

00:43:46.440 a big

00:43:46.760 extension

00:43:47.400 of the

00:43:47.840 airport

00:43:48.280 so you

00:43:49.540 know that

00:43:49.800 feeling

00:43:50.120 you have

00:43:50.360 when you're

00:43:50.580 in an

00:43:50.800 airport

00:43:51.160 you know

00:43:53.220 people are

00:43:53.900 passing

00:43:54.360 and you're

00:43:54.680 seeing them

00:43:55.160 and you're

00:43:55.460 oh yeah

00:43:56.340 let's do

00:43:56.760 this

00:43:56.980 but everybody's

00:43:58.360 just taking

00:43:58.800 off

00:43:59.180 everybody's

00:44:00.220 coming back

00:44:00.840 or taking

00:44:01.260 that's what

00:44:02.160 LA always

00:44:02.640 feels like

00:44:02.960 to me

00:44:03.180 everywhere

00:44:03.600 so I

00:44:05.420 think within

00:44:05.860 that space

00:44:06.360 it's hard

00:44:06.720 to have a

00:44:06.980 sense of

00:44:07.220 community

00:44:07.560 when there's

00:44:07.980 just so

00:44:08.460 much

00:44:08.900 motion

00:44:09.900 going on

00:44:10.620 but I'm

00:44:12.080 grateful

00:44:12.380 you know

00:44:12.760 I got

00:44:13.180 guys like

00:44:13.600 Brennan

00:44:13.880 Shial

00:44:14.260 I got

00:44:14.580 producer

00:44:16.220 Nick

00:44:16.740 you know

00:44:18.640 I got

00:44:18.840 little

00:44:19.060 Gianni

00:44:19.820 who's

00:44:21.260 you know

00:44:22.340 the

00:44:22.760 you know

00:44:23.860 the movie

00:44:24.480 star

00:44:24.740 twink

00:44:25.240 he's

00:44:25.560 you know

00:44:25.960 we just

00:44:26.980 got

00:44:27.240 you know

00:44:27.620 there's a

00:44:28.520 group

00:44:28.800 that I

00:44:29.840 have

00:44:30.140 yeah

00:44:30.320 so it's

00:44:30.580 gotten

00:44:30.720 better

00:44:31.000 that's

00:44:31.500 the short

00:44:31.860 answer

00:44:32.160 but thank

00:44:33.080 you for

00:44:33.340 the question

00:44:33.760 that's

00:44:33.960 from our

00:44:34.220 patreon

00:44:34.580 supporter

00:44:35.040 Victor

00:44:35.400 Johnson

00:44:35.920 let me

00:44:40.140 see

00:44:40.540 what else

00:44:41.560 Angel

00:44:45.400 Perez

00:44:46.220 said

00:44:47.360 your comedy

00:44:47.800 is always

00:44:48.100 so creatively

00:44:48.840 descriptive

00:44:49.580 have you

00:44:50.600 ever written

00:44:50.980 any short

00:44:51.440 stories or

00:44:51.880 things that

00:44:52.280 aren't

00:44:52.520 comedy

00:44:52.960 yeah

00:44:54.200 yeah I

00:44:55.860 have

00:44:56.240 you know

00:44:57.240 you know

00:45:00.320 I've tried to

00:45:00.620 get some books

00:45:01.020 published over

00:45:01.500 the years

00:45:01.680 I haven't

00:45:01.900 tried in a

00:45:02.300 while

00:45:02.680 just about

00:45:05.020 growing up

00:45:06.300 you know

00:45:08.660 one fiction

00:45:09.320 and one

00:45:09.620 nonfiction

00:45:10.160 one just

00:45:11.200 like growing

00:45:11.620 up and

00:45:11.960 just how

00:45:12.280 fear kind

00:45:12.880 of ran

00:45:13.160 a lot

00:45:13.400 of my

00:45:13.620 life

00:45:14.000 and just

00:45:15.080 how

00:45:15.460 you know

00:45:17.680 the first

00:45:18.080 memories I

00:45:18.560 have are

00:45:18.920 just of

00:45:19.220 being afraid

00:45:19.760 of stuff

00:45:20.300 you know

00:45:23.080 I remember

00:45:23.340 when my

00:45:23.600 father was

00:45:24.020 you know

00:45:24.440 obviously

00:45:24.780 I'm not

00:45:25.720 going to

00:45:25.880 say again

00:45:26.280 how old

00:45:26.640 my father

00:45:26.980 was

00:45:27.160 I always

00:45:27.420 say it

00:45:27.800 but one

00:45:29.440 of my

00:45:29.620 first

00:45:29.900 memories

00:45:30.460 was I

00:45:30.860 remember

00:45:31.080 walking

00:45:31.500 I woke

00:45:31.880 up at

00:45:32.140 night and

00:45:32.400 I walked

00:45:32.720 into this

00:45:33.060 other room

00:45:33.500 in our

00:45:33.720 house and

00:45:34.200 my sister

00:45:36.000 was real

00:45:36.360 sick

00:45:36.780 you know

00:45:37.200 she was born

00:45:37.700 with a rare

00:45:38.160 disease and

00:45:38.840 she needed

00:45:40.480 a transplant

00:45:41.020 and my

00:45:41.420 father was

00:45:41.860 like rocking

00:45:42.320 her in this

00:45:42.700 rocking chair

00:45:43.320 and he was

00:45:44.120 crying and

00:45:45.420 he was real

00:45:45.860 sad you know

00:45:46.640 and I knew

00:45:48.700 that my sister

00:45:49.260 was sick and

00:45:49.940 I saw him

00:45:50.400 crying and

00:45:50.960 it just like

00:45:51.720 you know

00:45:53.180 I don't know

00:45:53.520 it just made

00:45:53.980 me real scared

00:45:54.680 it made me

00:45:55.260 scared out of

00:45:56.160 the beginning

00:45:56.600 but yeah I've

00:45:58.920 written some

00:45:59.180 stuff about that

00:45:59.760 I've written

00:46:00.040 some funny

00:46:00.520 stories and

00:46:02.720 I think as I

00:46:03.840 get a little

00:46:04.200 bit more settled

00:46:04.900 after I get

00:46:05.400 done touring

00:46:05.980 next year I'm

00:46:06.620 going to try to

00:46:07.000 focus a little

00:46:07.500 bit more on

00:46:07.960 getting back to

00:46:08.460 some writing

00:46:09.000 creating some

00:46:10.540 fun stuff

00:46:11.060 that's not

00:46:11.780 touring as

00:46:13.480 much because

00:46:14.440 this touring

00:46:14.860 takes a lot

00:46:15.340 out of me

00:46:15.740 right now

00:46:16.280 and then one

00:46:18.140 more from

00:46:18.540 Faye

00:46:19.020 Dvorak

00:46:19.800 what books

00:46:21.220 or movies

00:46:21.600 have had an

00:46:21.980 impact on

00:46:22.380 the way you

00:46:22.740 think about

00:46:23.280 things

00:46:23.780 what was

00:46:24.820 going on

00:46:25.300 in your

00:46:25.540 life at

00:46:25.840 the time

00:46:26.140 that you

00:46:26.320 read or

00:46:26.620 saw them

00:46:26.940 and how

00:46:27.180 did they

00:46:27.400 change

00:46:27.720 your

00:46:27.840 thinking

00:46:28.220 oh wow

00:46:28.760 I don't

00:46:29.020 know about

00:46:29.400 some of

00:46:29.700 that

00:46:29.980 that's

00:46:30.380 deep

00:46:30.740 what books

00:46:32.660 or movies

00:46:33.220 you know

00:46:33.920 I like

00:46:34.200 that movie

00:46:34.720 Bridges of

00:46:36.140 Madison

00:46:36.400 County

00:46:36.880 you know

00:46:38.980 there's just

00:46:39.300 a moment

00:46:39.660 of choice

00:46:40.140 in there

00:46:40.420 a moment

00:46:40.740 of love

00:46:41.260 a moment

00:46:41.660 of comfort

00:46:42.220 you know

00:46:42.700 it just

00:46:43.780 shows how

00:46:44.260 people's lives

00:46:45.220 can interact

00:46:45.900 and they're not

00:46:46.320 really

00:46:46.600 you know

00:46:50.100 how every

00:46:50.480 decision you

00:46:51.060 make

00:46:51.280 isn't

00:46:51.600 so

00:46:52.180 well it

00:46:56.620 just shows

00:46:56.980 that you

00:46:57.200 can get

00:46:57.480 love in

00:46:57.880 different

00:46:58.060 places

00:46:58.420 and that

00:46:58.720 there's

00:46:58.900 different

00:46:59.120 levels

00:46:59.480 to love

00:46:59.960 and different

00:47:00.300 parts

00:47:00.660 of love

00:47:01.100 some love

00:47:01.540 you get

00:47:01.800 from here

00:47:02.260 and some

00:47:02.580 love

00:47:02.860 you get

00:47:03.120 from there

00:47:03.620 so I like

00:47:04.940 that movie

00:47:05.400 Bridges of

00:47:05.860 Madison

00:47:06.100 County

00:47:06.460 and it's

00:47:06.720 about

00:47:06.920 bridges

00:47:07.280 man

00:47:07.520 bridges

00:47:07.880 you know

00:47:08.360 because think

00:47:09.400 about this

00:47:10.100 before

00:47:11.640 bridges

00:47:12.140 what

00:47:12.560 people had

00:47:16.060 to try

00:47:16.380 and jump

00:47:16.920 over

00:47:17.200 something

00:47:17.600 so if

00:47:20.380 you wanted

00:47:20.800 to get

00:47:21.380 a message

00:47:21.960 to somebody

00:47:23.100 across

00:47:24.460 the

00:47:24.860 whatever

00:47:26.380 water

00:47:27.180 you know

00:47:28.220 or whatever

00:47:29.580 dragon area

00:47:30.860 you had

00:47:32.200 to fucking

00:47:32.600 get a buddy

00:47:33.480 feed him

00:47:35.180 a bunch

00:47:35.500 of steaks

00:47:36.100 and everything

00:47:36.580 train him

00:47:37.420 you know

00:47:39.400 get him a

00:47:39.920 rosary

00:47:40.460 couple rosaries

00:47:41.500 you know

00:47:43.620 tell him

00:47:44.080 he was

00:47:44.320 gonna make

00:47:44.920 it

00:47:45.260 and then

00:47:47.680 send him

00:47:48.280 out there

00:47:48.700 running

00:47:49.440 and the

00:47:54.800 dragon got

00:47:55.540 him

00:47:55.900 you know

00:47:57.220 what I'm

00:47:57.340 saying

00:47:57.500 so bridges

00:47:58.200 are everything

00:47:59.000 bridges

00:48:00.360 are really

00:48:01.080 because before

00:48:03.540 that you had

00:48:04.220 to get wet

00:48:04.920 or get eaten

00:48:05.680 or get burnt

00:48:06.600 I mean

00:48:08.640 bridges

00:48:09.280 name

00:48:13.020 you know

00:48:14.020 name 11

00:48:15.080 other things

00:48:16.120 that are

00:48:17.220 better than

00:48:17.680 that

00:48:18.060 over time

00:48:21.100 maybe

00:48:21.420 and you know

00:48:22.940 and everybody

00:48:23.620 did a bridge

00:48:24.420 that wasn't

00:48:25.100 just no

00:48:25.540 Benjamin

00:48:25.980 Franklin

00:48:26.600 hogging

00:48:27.700 all the

00:48:28.100 you know

00:48:32.600 old beef

00:48:33.600 Frankie

00:48:34.160 hogging

00:48:35.820 all the

00:48:36.140 damn

00:48:36.580 inventions

00:48:38.640 everybody

00:48:39.420 did a bridge

00:48:40.260 Ben

00:48:40.760 so sorry

00:48:42.980 I shouldn't

00:48:43.440 have got upset

00:48:43.860 about that

00:48:44.240 but that shit

00:48:44.700 kinda

00:48:44.920 you know

00:48:45.960 a lot of times

00:48:46.720 all these

00:48:47.200 old people

00:48:47.760 that is

00:48:48.040 you know

00:48:48.660 you know

00:48:49.900 Einstein

00:48:51.080 fucking

00:48:53.360 who else

00:48:54.000 what's that

00:48:55.480 guy's name

00:48:56.180 uh

00:48:57.240 Miserak

00:48:58.820 Steve

00:48:59.160 Miserak

00:48:59.980 um

00:49:00.840 yeah all

00:49:02.040 these people

00:49:02.360 say they

00:49:02.780 invented

00:49:03.100 everything

00:49:03.540 Thomas

00:49:03.900 Jefferson

00:49:04.540 TJ

00:49:06.380 oh yeah

00:49:08.380 you guys

00:49:08.840 did it all

00:49:09.520 but no

00:49:10.440 everybody

00:49:10.860 did

00:49:11.180 bridges

00:49:11.620 um

00:49:13.540 but I'll

00:49:15.260 have to get

00:49:15.560 more deeper

00:49:16.000 into that

00:49:16.260 one another

00:49:16.560 time

00:49:16.840 Faye

00:49:17.000 but thank

00:49:17.380 you for

00:49:17.560 that

00:49:17.700 question

00:49:18.040 about you

00:49:18.400 know

00:49:18.480 what

00:49:18.700 things

00:49:19.040 were going

00:49:19.360 on in

00:49:19.580 your life

00:49:19.860 at the

00:49:20.060 time

00:49:20.260 you read

00:49:20.520 or saw

00:49:20.880 them

00:49:21.080 uh

00:49:22.860 I don't

00:49:24.020 remember

00:49:24.400 that's

00:49:24.680 you know

00:49:24.980 my brain

00:49:25.580 doesn't work

00:49:26.040 like that

00:49:26.440 my memory

00:49:26.860 is not

00:49:27.100 that strong

00:49:27.780 in that

00:49:28.120 sense

00:49:28.580 um

00:49:29.840 but thank

00:49:31.140 you for

00:49:31.340 your support

00:49:31.920 and that

00:49:32.900 is definitely

00:49:33.240 one of my

00:49:33.540 favorite movies

00:49:34.080 and books

00:49:34.600 and that

00:49:35.220 that Bridges

00:49:35.960 in Madison

00:49:36.240 County

00:49:36.540 that's word

00:49:36.960 for word

00:49:37.360 book

00:49:37.660 movie

00:49:38.000 for movie

00:49:38.560 and the

00:49:39.180 Patriot

00:49:39.620 as always

00:49:40.040 you know

00:49:40.300 is one of

00:49:40.520 my favorite

00:49:40.820 movies

00:49:41.140 ever

00:49:41.780 and probably

00:49:42.280 always will

00:49:42.720 be

00:49:42.980 aim small

00:49:43.940 miss small

00:49:44.740 I can't solve

00:49:46.140 a big problem

00:49:46.740 man but I

00:49:47.160 could solve

00:49:47.540 this little

00:49:47.900 small one

00:49:48.460 and that'll

00:49:49.720 get me to

00:49:50.080 the next

00:49:50.380 little small

00:49:50.900 one

00:49:51.800 gang gang

00:49:53.000 man

00:49:53.500 let's get to

00:49:56.100 a couple of

00:49:56.440 calls that

00:49:56.780 came in

00:49:57.180 because I'm

00:49:57.440 about to go

00:49:57.720 get lunch

00:49:58.300 onward

00:50:00.240 hold on

00:50:03.560 let's

00:50:03.860 stop

00:50:04.180 gang gang

00:50:09.680 what's up

00:50:10.140 Theo

00:50:10.460 gang gang

00:50:11.340 brother

00:50:11.700 onward

00:50:12.680 man I

00:50:13.900 love you

00:50:14.240 bro

00:50:14.580 just went

00:50:15.240 to your

00:50:15.680 show in

00:50:17.500 New York

00:50:17.780 City

00:50:18.100 you did a

00:50:18.760 really great

00:50:19.160 job

00:50:19.540 made my

00:50:19.960 birthday

00:50:20.240 really special

00:50:21.040 you know

00:50:22.700 well thank

00:50:24.340 you man

00:50:24.560 I appreciate

00:50:24.980 that

00:50:25.520 yeah that

00:50:26.320 club I

00:50:26.760 don't think

00:50:27.020 that they

00:50:27.300 did a good

00:50:27.680 job they

00:50:28.000 tried to

00:50:28.340 hurry the

00:50:28.720 VIP

00:50:29.100 you know

00:50:29.760 the meet

00:50:30.440 and greets

00:50:30.900 and hurry

00:50:31.280 it up at

00:50:31.740 the end

00:50:32.000 of the

00:50:32.220 show

00:50:32.580 they were

00:50:34.320 flashing the

00:50:35.020 lights on

00:50:35.520 us

00:50:35.980 you know

00:50:38.100 I don't

00:50:38.300 know what

00:50:38.620 and hopefully

00:50:39.540 everybody's

00:50:39.920 experience was

00:50:40.500 great but

00:50:41.900 you know

00:50:43.020 the guy

00:50:43.520 the man

00:50:43.960 they

00:50:44.480 it definitely

00:50:46.360 wasn't

00:50:49.080 you know

00:50:51.000 it wasn't

00:50:52.020 I hope you

00:50:52.820 guys'

00:50:53.060 experience was

00:50:53.660 good

00:50:53.960 I'll just

00:50:55.100 leave it at

00:50:55.900 that

00:50:56.460 because yeah

00:50:59.060 just the

00:50:59.840 music

00:51:00.220 just things

00:51:00.840 that you

00:51:01.140 know

00:51:01.320 are basic

00:51:02.160 things

00:51:02.520 it didn't

00:51:02.860 seem like

00:51:03.140 they cared

00:51:03.540 that much

00:51:03.980 about the

00:51:04.420 people coming

00:51:04.920 to the

00:51:05.220 shows

00:51:05.660 but it's

00:51:07.880 a Times Square

00:51:08.500 business down

00:51:09.160 there in Times Square

00:51:09.980 and it's just

00:51:10.580 you know

00:51:10.940 they're just

00:51:11.560 running people

00:51:12.160 it felt like a

00:51:12.660 diner where

00:51:13.380 they did comedy

00:51:14.020 at

00:51:14.320 but I

00:51:17.000 appreciate

00:51:17.540 everybody that

00:51:18.020 came let's

00:51:18.340 hear more man

00:51:18.920 sorry I've

00:51:19.400 been a little

00:51:19.800 negative

00:51:20.160 I met you

00:51:21.060 after the

00:51:21.460 show

00:51:21.800 you told

00:51:22.360 me that

00:51:22.880 you know

00:51:23.560 you might

00:51:23.980 have relapsed

00:51:24.580 with the

00:51:24.840 cigarette hitters

00:51:25.700 but it's

00:51:26.520 alright man

00:51:27.060 you know

00:51:27.320 there's another

00:51:27.740 day

00:51:28.120 another dollar

00:51:28.960 and we're

00:51:29.540 out here

00:51:30.040 and you know

00:51:31.480 I was good

00:51:32.100 for three months

00:51:32.680 no cigarettes

00:51:33.260 and then I

00:51:33.640 recently also

00:51:34.440 started again

00:51:35.560 but you know

00:51:36.360 we'll quit them

00:51:37.340 hitters

00:51:37.700 you know

00:51:38.140 and you just

00:51:39.260 gotta try again

00:51:40.080 and try again

00:51:40.800 until you know

00:51:41.520 they say

00:51:42.080 the success

00:51:43.620 gets better

00:51:44.560 the more

00:51:45.860 tense you do

00:51:46.520 and the longer

00:51:47.060 days that you've

00:51:48.040 you know

00:51:48.620 been off

00:51:49.120 and thanks

00:51:49.700 once again

00:51:51.400 I appreciate it

00:51:52.120 oh yeah

00:51:52.500 and then Monday's

00:51:53.320 podcast

00:51:53.880 yeah thanks

00:51:55.040 man

00:51:55.300 yeah

00:51:55.500 I got back

00:51:55.940 on them

00:51:56.200 cigarettes

00:51:56.560 about a week

00:51:57.100 ago

00:51:57.480 and so

00:51:58.880 some of it

00:51:59.380 is I just

00:51:59.700 get so tired

00:52:00.380 and just so

00:52:00.880 exhausted

00:52:01.420 it's like I

00:52:01.960 just don't

00:52:02.360 have anything

00:52:02.920 I can't sleep

00:52:04.740 Saturday night

00:52:05.640 I couldn't even

00:52:06.040 sleep

00:52:06.260 I was up

00:52:06.720 all night

00:52:07.680 dude I never

00:52:09.440 been up all

00:52:10.180 night since I

00:52:10.960 was I don't

00:52:11.440 even know

00:52:12.000 since I probably

00:52:13.040 had colic or

00:52:13.940 something as a

00:52:14.480 child

00:52:14.860 or if there

00:52:16.080 was a snake

00:52:16.640 in the room

00:52:17.100 I could never

00:52:17.600 sleep if there

00:52:18.460 was a snake

00:52:18.940 in the room

00:52:19.560 but uh

00:52:21.880 but yeah

00:52:22.840 so I've been

00:52:23.220 back on them

00:52:23.780 ritz man

00:52:24.520 gang

00:52:25.240 onward

00:52:25.740 remember last

00:52:26.700 Monday's podcast

00:52:27.380 I wanted to

00:52:27.960 ask you

00:52:28.480 you know

00:52:29.180 like you're

00:52:29.580 talking a lot

00:52:30.020 about your

00:52:30.360 dad and stuff

00:52:31.200 and your

00:52:31.680 feelings

00:52:32.160 you know

00:52:33.140 the relationship

00:52:33.800 there

00:52:34.300 do you think

00:52:35.940 you'd be a

00:52:36.360 different comedian

00:52:37.340 if you had

00:52:39.140 if you were a

00:52:39.920 father yourself

00:52:40.660 you know

00:52:41.220 that's a good

00:52:42.800 question would I

00:52:43.340 be a different

00:52:43.780 comedian if I

00:52:44.560 were a father

00:52:45.000 myself

00:52:45.540 you know it's

00:52:48.240 funny sometimes I

00:52:48.860 think I'm afraid

00:52:49.500 to get into a

00:52:50.400 family and that

00:52:51.100 sort of thing

00:52:51.600 because it'll

00:52:53.360 change the way

00:52:54.580 that I see the

00:52:57.120 world a little

00:52:57.660 bit and I

00:53:00.640 just want to

00:53:01.080 make sure I get

00:53:01.600 everything out of

00:53:02.500 the way I see

00:53:03.060 the world right

00:53:03.640 now or yeah

00:53:06.100 or will I have

00:53:06.960 anything to joke

00:53:07.660 about then will

00:53:08.340 I just be some

00:53:09.120 you know such an

00:53:10.480 emo nemo I'll

00:53:11.440 turn into a damn

00:53:12.100 emo shark you

00:53:13.880 know and then I'll

00:53:14.520 just be you know

00:53:16.080 just holding my

00:53:16.740 son just crying on

00:53:17.800 like the bank of a

00:53:18.560 river all the time

00:53:19.340 like you know I

00:53:20.300 just so I start to

00:53:21.280 wonder like yeah

00:53:24.220 just I don't know

00:53:25.820 it's like I'm I'm

00:53:27.480 kind of at a little

00:53:28.340 bit of a place where

00:53:28.960 I'm comfortable you

00:53:31.080 know I'm that

00:53:31.380 comfort cat and so

00:53:33.580 I don't know if I

00:53:34.280 you know it gets

00:53:34.980 scary for me to

00:53:35.680 think oh well if I

00:53:36.480 have a family am I

00:53:37.220 still going to be

00:53:37.660 able to be okay

00:53:38.580 because I don't

00:53:40.120 want to damage them

00:53:40.900 either you know I

00:53:41.560 don't want to damage

00:53:42.320 you know I don't

00:53:43.560 want to you know I

00:53:48.120 don't want to mess

00:53:48.620 up you know I

00:53:50.300 don't want to mess

00:53:50.760 up some little

00:53:51.260 kid's life or you

00:53:52.900 know shoot I don't

00:53:54.080 want to create single

00:53:54.920 moms that's not

00:53:55.820 the thing that I

00:53:57.320 were trying to do

00:53:58.180 so but that's a

00:54:00.620 good question man I

00:54:01.500 appreciate you calling

00:54:02.300 man as always the

00:54:03.380 hotline 985-664-9503

00:54:06.280 let's take another

00:54:06.880 call here

00:54:07.500 hey Theo this is

00:54:09.140 Chrissy from Atlanta

00:54:10.400 hey Chrissy from

00:54:11.720 Atlanta thank you for

00:54:12.500 calling I appreciate

00:54:13.720 you calling from that

00:54:16.280 ATL I heard your

00:54:18.540 podcast about how you

00:54:19.720 felt like you used to

00:54:21.000 be maybe ashamed of

00:54:22.000 your father and I

00:54:23.760 wanted to say you know

00:54:24.940 my dad was never

00:54:26.180 really a fancy guy in

00:54:28.240 Atlanta everyone's

00:54:29.380 dads go to golf clubs

00:54:31.920 all the time oh yeah

00:54:33.640 they got a lot of

00:54:34.280 fancy people over there

00:54:35.400 I know you're talking

00:54:36.600 about I know exactly

00:54:39.640 what you're talking

00:54:40.220 about the fancy

00:54:41.100 onward everyone's

00:54:42.360 dads are buying new

00:54:43.880 cars and that's just

00:54:45.640 kind of how dads are

00:54:46.620 here my dad's from

00:54:47.920 Ecuador so he is

00:54:49.620 always just he does

00:54:50.800 not care at all what

00:54:52.840 he what he looks like

00:54:53.960 or anything but it

00:54:55.200 really for me I felt

00:54:56.700 like it made me more

00:54:58.320 of a proud person and

00:54:59.920 like realize what

00:55:01.940 happiness was much

00:55:03.440 more because instead

00:55:04.480 of golfing and

00:55:05.780 buying cars my dad

00:55:07.680 was like building

00:55:08.600 bombs and blowing

00:55:10.040 them up in the

00:55:10.540 backyard making

00:55:12.180 kayaks out of wood

00:55:13.820 you know collecting

00:55:15.460 abandoned TVs and

00:55:18.200 using them like using

00:55:19.340 the screens to make

00:55:20.400 fires in the back you

00:55:21.840 know just doing a

00:55:22.860 wizardry a sound like

00:55:24.160 you're talking about

00:55:24.600 some real wizardry but

00:55:26.880 no I know you're

00:55:27.420 talking about it's

00:55:28.120 like you got to see

00:55:28.800 more of a creative

00:55:29.540 type of dad instead

00:55:31.440 of you know a lot of

00:55:33.500 times and this does

00:55:34.320 happen in a lot with

00:55:35.160 a lot of tradition in

00:55:36.320 different communities I

00:55:38.120 find that people just

00:55:40.760 live into these streams

00:55:42.020 of tradition and they

00:55:42.980 don't create their own

00:55:43.980 kind of canals of

00:55:46.940 creativity a lot of

00:55:48.140 times it sounds like

00:55:49.940 your father was

00:55:50.500 definitely doing you

00:55:52.400 know was doing a

00:55:53.440 little bit more

00:55:53.920 creativity and in

00:55:55.120 creativity you get to

00:55:56.480 see who someone is you

00:55:57.560 get to see some of the

00:55:58.460 colors of them on

00:55:59.480 doing cool stuff and

00:56:01.160 for me that that was

00:56:04.040 actually a better way to

00:56:05.180 grow up and so I'm

00:56:06.580 like I'm grateful for

00:56:09.040 that you know but

00:56:10.480 thanks yeah well it

00:56:13.120 sounds like yeah it

00:56:15.520 sounds like you got to

00:56:16.100 have a unique experience

00:56:17.140 with your day yeah it's

00:56:19.960 it's so weird too it's

00:56:22.560 like you know we just

00:56:23.240 don't realize some stuff

00:56:24.240 when we're young and

00:56:25.560 sometimes we realize it

00:56:26.560 later you know we don't

00:56:29.100 know and that's life

00:56:31.660 isn't it man it's like

00:56:34.120 you play a lot of the

00:56:35.160 game and then like

00:56:37.380 years later you kind of

00:56:41.280 get to watch the game

00:56:42.260 back and review how it

00:56:43.480 went and it's always

00:56:46.640 feels like that it's so

00:56:47.660 hard to get to get I

00:56:53.720 don't know it's so hard

00:56:54.420 to get I don't know it's

00:56:58.140 where you're where who

00:57:04.960 you are and the way you

00:57:07.320 feel about life matches

00:57:08.960 up in real time with

00:57:10.200 what's going on and

00:57:12.460 maybe some of that just

00:57:13.200 comes with time and age

00:57:14.260 let's take another call

00:57:15.800 here thank you for that

00:57:16.540 call young lady

00:57:17.960 what's up Reed dude

00:57:26.240 rodeo I've been thinking

00:57:28.240 about rodeo that's crazy

00:57:29.520 that you called man I've

00:57:31.840 been thinking about the

00:57:32.660 rodeo boy I like going to

00:57:35.220 the rodeo seeing those

00:57:36.320 wranglers seeing that hat

00:57:38.000 seeing them buckles seeing

00:57:40.200 them yeah yeah yeah them

00:57:41.440 steeds I ride in

00:57:43.360 bucking horses saddle

00:57:44.760 bronc uh bucking horses

00:57:46.620 hell yeah dude saddle

00:57:48.160 bronc's amazing uh it's

00:57:51.560 like having uh it's like

00:57:52.460 learning to drive like

00:57:53.580 when you first learn to

00:57:54.380 drive a stick shift but in

00:57:56.700 a fucking f-15 tomcat

00:58:01.000 onward I've been to a lot

00:58:03.320 of rodeos cross country

00:58:04.620 whatnot I'm only about 20

00:58:06.040 years old so I got a long

00:58:07.380 a long lifetime of rodeo

00:58:09.500 left but it's uh kind of

00:58:11.360 hard to do that and going

00:58:12.660 to going to college I'm a

00:58:15.520 sophomore this year and uh

00:58:17.660 at the Fresno State

00:58:18.860 University nice man

00:58:20.860 congratulations on your

00:58:21.880 sophomoreship man you're

00:58:22.900 getting it done onward

00:58:24.020 and uh in between classes

00:58:26.440 man I set up my schedule

00:58:27.820 weird so I got a lot of

00:58:28.820 breaks in between my

00:58:29.620 classes and I listen to

00:58:31.220 your podcast and the king

00:58:32.660 and the sting and the

00:58:33.600 buzz and the thing and

00:58:35.620 whatnot

00:58:36.100 king and the sting's pretty

00:58:40.400 funny bro that one's such

00:58:41.580 a goofy and we just goof

00:58:43.280 around in there onward

00:58:44.860 now listen all them and

00:58:47.040 man I wouldn't I would be

00:58:49.140 lying if I didn't if I

00:58:50.460 said I didn't get my

00:58:51.340 hairstyle after you I got

00:58:52.680 a little bit of a rat tail

00:58:53.880 pg brother praise god ptl

00:58:57.440 baby praise the lord and my

00:58:59.360 brother's got that rat tail

00:59:00.460 too man

00:59:01.040 i had a full mullet but I

00:59:03.960 decided to go in like kind

00:59:04.960 of a mohawk and leave the

00:59:06.440 tail on the back I'm kind

00:59:08.380 of upset with chin or

00:59:09.460 whoever runs the

00:59:10.260 submissions department for

00:59:11.580 the king of the sting I

00:59:13.100 sent in a video a few

00:59:14.920 weeks back and freaking I

00:59:17.180 don't know if chin filters

00:59:18.300 through all the all the

00:59:20.220 cool videos that they

00:59:21.380 start sending and and he

00:59:22.880 kicks them out or whatnot

00:59:23.800 but mine didn't get in

00:59:25.800 there and I didn't watch

00:59:27.560 it for a week or so so I

00:59:28.800 was kind of upset wanted to

00:59:30.680 see uh how you guys react

00:59:32.460 to talking about the

00:59:34.020 rodeos and whatnot

00:59:34.960 well I you know what

00:59:36.540 I'm I'll see if I can

00:59:37.540 talk to them over there

00:59:38.300 and see if we can't get

00:59:39.080 that through because I'd

00:59:39.780 love to think about the

00:59:40.660 rodeos and I think that's

00:59:42.060 a great topic man and gang

00:59:43.900 gang and I appreciate you

00:59:44.920 sending that in bro and

00:59:46.540 you know what's so funny

00:59:47.140 when I was in New York

00:59:47.780 City man I met a police

00:59:48.980 officer and his hair his

00:59:51.280 his his horse had a haircut

00:59:54.100 same as mine and I said

00:59:55.920 is that your horse and he

00:59:57.500 said yeah yeah that's my

00:59:58.520 horse I'm on it and so I

01:00:00.640 figured you know probably

01:00:01.920 was his and then I said

01:00:05.720 well who cut his hair and

01:00:07.060 he kind of looks around

01:00:08.220 he's like ah I'll be

01:00:09.900 honest I kind of fucked it

01:00:11.100 up I was like damn

01:00:13.020 bro I didn't think it was

01:00:16.460 going to be him that was

01:00:17.720 doing it though man but I

01:00:19.900 appreciate that honesty and

01:00:21.620 the horse looked a little

01:00:22.560 shy you know like you know

01:00:24.300 like people you know like

01:00:26.120 he had gotten kind of a

01:00:27.060 rough cut man he needed like

01:00:29.720 he needed a little bit

01:00:30.460 more comfort cotton on his

01:00:31.740 body next week we'll do a

01:00:33.960 special Mother's Day

01:00:34.660 episode I gotta go and

01:00:37.220 and I'm sorry that we're

01:00:38.320 late this week I'm really

01:00:39.600 excited to be coming over

01:00:40.520 to Europe I can't even

01:00:41.460 believe this man like I'm

01:00:42.480 saying things that are like

01:00:45.540 dreams come true and now

01:00:46.680 I'm saying I'm like they're

01:00:47.400 just regular things so maybe

01:00:52.560 I just need it's a sign I

01:00:53.640 just need to watch my ego my

01:00:54.920 ego could be getting weird you

01:00:56.700 know the ego is so dangerous

01:00:58.720 man so dangerous huh so I'm

01:01:04.620 grateful this week I don't

01:01:05.400 have to go anywhere I can

01:01:06.200 just spend some time kind of

01:01:07.380 trying to think about other

01:01:09.720 people than myself you know

01:01:12.560 man I get tired of myself you

01:01:14.460 know I'm grateful but man I

01:01:16.380 get tired you know I just

01:01:19.020 it's weird the only way that I

01:01:23.000 really can feel feel good at a

01:01:27.440 core place at like a place

01:01:29.100 that you know like in the

01:01:33.860 center like in my a quarter you

01:01:36.400 know in my like the core of my

01:01:38.980 aortas man is uh is if I'm able

01:01:42.900 to do something for somebody else I

01:01:44.160 think that's the only way that

01:01:45.100 humanity work that we work you

01:01:47.820 know I don't know what the hell do

01:01:49.420 I know but be good to yourselves

01:01:52.560 man I know that you guys deserve

01:01:54.020 it I meet so many so many people

01:01:56.000 from this from this podcast and I'm

01:01:57.600 out on the road and uh and it's an

01:02:01.020 honor you know it's an honor and for

01:02:03.560 the people that don't get to meet

01:02:04.400 we'll meet you next time I know some

01:02:06.220 VIP tickets are sold out for

01:02:07.580 different places I'll do some just

01:02:09.320 meet and greets after for everybody

01:02:11.600 um we'll figure it out okay we'll

01:02:15.320 figure it out and thank you guys uh

01:02:17.180 uh for being good to me I

01:02:19.560 appreciate it and um and be good to

01:02:22.480 yourselves don't forget those

01:02:23.460 flowers from mother's day or

01:02:24.420 something a card anything

01:02:25.480 ladies and gentlemen I'm Jonathan

01:02:50.900 Kite and welcome to Kite Club a

01:02:53.140 podcast where I'll be sharing

01:02:54.480 thoughts on things like current

01:02:55.840 events stand-up stories and seven

01:02:58.260 ways to pleasure your partner the

01:03:00.540 answer may shock you sometimes I'll

01:03:02.760 interview my friends sometimes I

01:03:04.740 won't and as always I'll be joined

01:03:07.240 by the voices in my head you have

01:03:09.420 three new voice messages a lot of

01:03:12.600 people are talking about Kite Club

01:03:14.380 I've been talking about Kite Club for

01:03:16.600 so long longer than anybody else so

01:03:19.220 great hi so yeah easy too anyone who

01:03:23.940 doesn't listen to Kite Club is a

01:03:25.740 dodgy bloody wanker Jermaine I'll take a

01:03:30.000 quarter pounder with cheese and a

01:03:31.620 McFlurry

01:03:32.220 I think Tom Hanks just butt dialed me

01:03:39.000 anyway first rule of Kite Club is tell

01:03:41.800 everyone about Kite Club second rule

01:03:43.900 of Kite Club is tell everyone about

01:03:46.640 Kite Club third rule like and

01:03:48.800 subscribe wherever you listen to

01:03:50.320 podcasts or watch us on YouTube yeah

01:03:52.920 and yes don't worry my Brad Pitt

01:03:55.220 impression will get better

01:03:56.460 you

This Past Weekend with Theo Von - May 06, 2019

Comfort Cat ｜ This Past Weekend #196

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