E291 When Flavor Hits
Episode Stats
Length
1 hour and 19 minutes
Words per Minute
136.1441
Summary
Butterscotch and scotch are the first flavors to hit the scene in the late 80's and early 90's. Do you remember when they first hit the market? Do you know where you were when you were introduced to the flavor?
Transcript
00:00:00.000
Yeah, when I was young, it, you know, it wasn't, it wasn't there.
00:00:07.360
I mean, I remember when Butterscotch first hit the scene and they didn't, it just people, people were shocked.
00:00:21.620
I remember, you know, people covering their children's eyes and, you know, people just hanging garlic on their door.
00:00:30.860
And all the people that just, because it had never been, you know, this is back when they only had a certain amount of flavors in existence.
00:00:41.540
You know, they had strawberry and they had vanilla, they had chocolate.
00:00:51.940
You know, and then somebody come along with a mint.
00:00:57.600
And, you know, when then the flavor, the flavor, the palate, you know, the flavor rainbow was getting thicker.
00:01:10.000
And then somebody added in, I don't even know what they added in at that point, peanut butter, bacon, you know, raspberry.
00:01:36.460
I was in second grade and I was in math class and I didn't know what was going on.
00:01:44.060
You know, they were talking about, you know, addition and subtraction.
00:01:48.680
And I just, I mean, my world was just starting to damn fall apart.
00:01:55.060
And somebody handed me one of them, one of them BS's, baby, just wrapped up in a beautiful little cellophane skirt.
00:02:04.900
You notice it in a little damn plastic straitjacket just sealed off at both ends.
00:02:09.320
And I opened that bastard up and I put it in my mouth and I just, it was like somebody had just, I mean, it was butter and scotch, you know, it just, people didn't know.
00:02:25.400
It didn't, you, nobody done anything like this.
00:02:28.980
You know, maybe you'd seen it written on a toilet wall or something, you know.
00:02:36.160
But you'd never see Larry loves butter, scotch, you wouldn't see, it just, people, it just, and then it hit the scene and it was, you know, all the fatties, all the thicky thicks out there wanted that butter.
00:02:49.860
And all the drunken drips out there wanted that scotch.
00:02:58.160
You know, you'd see people just beating their damn stepdaddies with a freaking, you know, just beat, you'd see somebody beating.
00:03:06.160
Somebody else with a damn bike chain for a damn Werther's, you know.
00:03:32.540
You got ten dollars, don't you, then we go right.
00:03:50.840
Now we're cooking with gas on the front burner.
00:04:33.240
Damn, that right there is the North Mississippi All-Stars and a beautiful conglomerate of sound and emotion there called Drunk Outdoors.
00:05:04.600
They were thinking about us when they put this hit together.
00:05:10.560
And I was in a bathroom this weekend and I saw a poster for them on the wall.
00:05:27.660
And it is another week we start just tumbling down the hill.
00:06:00.600
You know, it's out there lung chasing these senior citizens.
00:06:06.960
I mean, you know, a lot of seniors are locked up right now.
00:06:19.400
Do you remember where you were when you first learned about a flavor?
00:06:32.380
It had been, you know, probably smuggled into, who knows, into the country.
00:06:40.020
You know, smuggled into the country but already in the country, you know, kind of deal.
00:06:44.860
And it had probably been in six, seven children's hands at school before it hit my hand.
00:06:49.200
And I opened that beautiful little brown bitch up, that little mixed mofo.
00:06:58.340
You know, and I'd never had anything brown in my mouth, son.
00:07:01.180
And, you know, I was young, you know, and, and I hit, you know, and I put that thing and I just didn't, I, it was just when you first had a, when you first had a taste of something new.
00:07:16.080
You didn't know things could, you didn't know things could exist, man.
00:07:23.560
And I'll be, I mean, every now and then, still, I got to pull my damn car over if I think too much about a Werther's Originals.
00:07:29.200
If I think too much about a, you know, a unique type of caramel candy, I got to pull a damn car over.
00:07:42.100
You know, maybe listen to a little Jeff Buckley or something.
00:07:48.340
You know, I miss, sometimes I miss the, the innovation of being young, of being new in the world.
00:08:07.520
You saw somebody, you know, maybe you saw two homeless people, you know, one of them ripping the other one's tooth out.
00:08:14.260
Out, out by the donut shop, doing bootleg dental.
00:08:22.220
And it, it just, but it was beautiful, it was new.
00:08:28.340
You know, maybe you see a man hugging somebody in his family too hard.
00:08:35.860
But, you know, you hadn't, you'd never seen it like that.
00:08:47.880
You just, I, there was, I like the novelty of being youthful and of, of just, of nouveau.
00:09:00.380
Of somebody hitting you with that, with a new taste.
00:09:07.460
Is it, you know, I thought it was from the dang Bible when I read it on a menu.
00:09:12.200
I said, well, damn, is it, you know, is, does the, does the church run this place?
00:09:20.000
And my mom say, no, this, this damn ground Patty Jr.
00:09:23.340
This ain't, the church, I have nothing to do with this joint.
00:09:26.300
You know, just ignorance and, and, and, and, and dining.
00:09:47.540
And people that say Nashville are obviously out of their damn tongues, brother.
00:09:56.340
But I had a nice time and I went out there to Percy Priest.
00:10:13.240
Just, you know, I wanted to get in that local water.
00:10:16.040
I want, I like, I like to, you know, I want to, that's the kind of place will cure your jock itch, you know.
00:10:30.380
Because every, uh, June and July, I really come along that southern, you know, that summer, I got that summer scratch going.
00:10:38.240
And one half of the inside of my, you know, near my body, near my, you know, near my little,
00:10:46.040
my little life bag, my little hot sack there, you know, near my little, them jolly raunchers, you know, near my nuts.
00:11:02.140
You know, I told the man about the church, I remember when I was probably 24, I told this man, I was in South Carolina,
00:11:09.580
and I went in there to the little booth or whatever, the photo booth or whatever, wherever you tell the man the stuff you've been doing that's wrong.
00:11:17.580
And I said, damn, baby boy, you know, I didn't say it just like that, but I said, you know, DBB, you know, your honor.
00:11:26.480
I said, I've been, I've been having, you know, jock itch.
00:11:34.560
I've been scratching right around the old devil's appendix, man, my nuts.
00:11:37.860
And, man, I think, honestly, I think the guy wanted to see my damn nuts, dude.
00:11:45.180
It was, I mean, you know, some of these, you know, some of these churches, when you get really, when you stop by in the daytime,
00:11:52.980
But, yeah, I had a beautiful time in Nashville, man.
00:11:56.720
You know, went swimming out there at Percy Priest State Park.
00:12:01.040
I walk up, and some lady just sitting in a little folding chair just yelling at some lady, yelling at some kid named Audrey.
00:12:17.240
I don't think the woman could tell there was a breeze coming in off the lake, head right at, just pointing right at her mouth.
00:12:25.380
And this lady must have yelled Audrey 200 times.
00:12:37.740
And little Audrey, brother, look, I ain't saying she gonna, you know, live a wild life, but this little bitch didn't give a dang, bruh.
00:12:57.460
And this little smokestack, this little lady, she was puffing on it, you know, she was, you know, just locomotiving on the back end of that Winston, baby, just hitting that sucker hard.
00:13:15.400
I met this white guy, stopped by, and he let me drive a nice, he had a real cool truck, an old truck.
00:13:22.500
This thing got it kind of made, it's not really painted, but it's almost like they just rub the rust right on the sides of it, and it just, you know, kind of thing.
00:13:30.900
You got to get a tetanus shot if you want to switch into third gear, you know, one of those old trucks.
00:13:51.480
I hit a, uh, you know, I hit a dog with my car.
00:13:56.740
At night, I hit an animal, you know, a little animal, you know, a fast little animal, a dog.
00:14:02.920
You've seen, you know, a dog, and, um, and that, dude, I'm driving, right?
00:14:07.940
And I'm not under the influence of anything except being a little too emotional, bro, and, you know, being maybe a little bit of a bitch sometimes, and, you know, I can't find my retainer.
00:14:18.320
I haven't been able to find it for about a month, so that's the only things I'm really under the influence of.
00:14:23.140
And, um, and this dog, this white dog, comes running.
00:14:31.940
I mean, it almost looked like a real fast little pony.
00:14:34.440
You know, real, just, you know, just like a damn, like, America's fastest little pony.
00:14:41.000
Like, one, almost like one of them little Japanese animals you see on the Instagram.
00:14:44.820
When they giving them pills over there in Japan and getting them doped up.
00:14:48.680
And a little, you know, they got a little cat or a little tiger, little bichon or something, got his tongue hanging out of his mouth.
00:14:55.940
And they got to squeeze his neck real hard to get his eyes open.
00:15:00.840
You know, and they say he's a, you know, oh, he's a miracle animal.
00:15:04.200
You know, oh, he's a, you know, everybody loves him.
00:15:10.500
Yeah, but he don't have any feeling in his body.
00:15:13.080
That little thing is, you know, he's on so many somas.
00:15:17.600
This little damn animal, little Mickey or whatever his name was, little NJ or whatever they call him.
00:15:33.980
I mean, the dog was, it was in front of my car.
00:15:43.700
I didn't feel a thump or a hit or, or anything, man.
00:15:54.080
You know, this one guy, kind of a, kind of chocolatey kind of guy.
00:15:59.480
And then this other lady, more of a Rubenesque kind of white lady.
00:16:05.760
You know, kind of lady looked like, you know, I don't, and she didn't have a lot of teeth.
00:16:21.560
You know, teeth is something, that's a delicacy according to this gal.
00:16:29.420
I don't know who had them, but, but she, you know, she didn't.
00:16:43.240
And man, I'm just, I'm just, just, just scared, man.
00:16:47.340
So I back up about five feet and I'm in like an intersection.
00:16:50.520
It's, it's not real busy, but I'm around maybe 6th and, and MLK Junior Boulevard.
00:17:01.900
And, and then, then, then I see the dog and he's laying there and he was like a little pit bull kind of dog.
00:17:17.060
And next thing you know, the lady's over by the window, this lady.
00:17:20.660
And she kind of, she reminded me of like Grover or like Oscar to Grouch or something a little.
00:17:25.420
But kind of sexier, but also, you know, greyhound sexy kind of, you know, kind of lady that, you know, she probably had skin cancer, bro.
00:17:45.240
Anyway, man, she, so she starts saying, oh, he needs CPR.
00:17:52.300
Then other people are starting to migrate over from the bus station.
00:17:56.500
So then this other lady says, I'll do CPR for $80.
00:18:03.800
You know, I'm thinking that, you know, this is some kind of a scam, a scam or something.
00:18:11.460
There's no way I don't think they could get the dog to lay there and pretend that, you know, I don't know.
00:18:33.020
And then the lady, you know, she was just so angry at me.
00:18:39.160
And I, man, there was nothing I could have done.
00:18:41.660
And, like, I'd never seen a dog running this fast.
00:18:46.980
Like, it was just in a damn contest or something.
00:18:49.720
Like a, you know, just like a damn, like a little, like a galloping contest or something.
00:18:57.720
You know, like it had been going to quickness classes and this was its, you know, midterm.
00:19:03.140
And that bat, you know, that little beautiful animal, it, uh, anyway, I don't, so she starts getting upset.
00:19:14.440
You know, she kind of had like a, kind of like a puppet.
00:19:18.100
You know, sometimes if someone doesn't have any teeth in her mouth, you get a vibe that they have that, they seem like a puppet.
00:19:24.440
You know, because a lot of puppets, they don't put teeth in her mouth.
00:19:27.780
It's just cloth and just somebody's hand under, you know, behind it and under it.
00:19:35.420
She was coming at me and kind of, you know, getting squirrely a little.
00:19:39.460
You know, and, um, she said she needed money for a new dog.
00:19:46.100
I dropped that hard 60 on her and, and I left, man.
00:19:50.080
They had a officer there on the corner and I asked him, you know, what do I do?
00:19:57.480
I gave, you know, I gave 60 for the net, if you know, for some animal, a new animal.
00:20:03.020
And, um, and he said, look, man, it wasn't your fault.
00:20:09.680
You know, he did help me feel a little bit more chill about it.
00:20:23.900
I was late for work one time and I hit a dog over there.
00:20:28.220
And I showed up late and I was crying and they fucking fired me, you know, and they
00:20:35.960
had some hot bitches that worked over there, to be honest with you, no offense, you know,
00:20:40.440
bitches, but they had, you know, some real fucking leg over there.
00:20:46.740
So anyway, man, sorry, I'm just, I'm horny and I'm, you know, thinking about the past at
00:20:53.000
the same time, but, um, what else happened, dude?
00:20:57.920
So the officer said, you know, it didn't look like you could have done anything and they
00:21:04.600
And man, I'd never seen, this may have been the fastest animal, you know, this Santa's
00:21:14.240
And, um, and it just, you know, and I, and I had another issue and I was working on a farm
00:21:22.000
a long time ago, I backed over a deer with a, um, bush hog and, uh, man, I, that, and that
00:21:38.300
I'm not, you know, I, you know, I, I, I'm learning to love animals more as I get more
00:21:43.480
So, you know, I don't have any issues with animals.
00:21:46.680
I have had extraneous, poor luck around animals and around, you know, animals that are trying
00:22:03.340
Or, you know, I just, I'm not help, when it comes to animals being alive, I don't, you
00:22:09.820
know, I don't do, I don't, I'm not helpful, I guess.
00:22:13.940
Um, but otherwise, you know, I had a beautiful time in Tennessee, man.
00:22:18.900
It just, it just was a way more relaxing environment, you know, kind of hopping around and, and, um,
00:22:30.860
You get outside of the city and you see you driving through these neighborhoods and
00:22:34.420
you just, you see a house that is, look like, damn, you know, like, um, it just looks like
00:22:46.300
You know, it just looks real, a lot of fancy stuff.
00:22:50.980
A lot of old school looking white houses too, man, like kind of real slave-y type of vibe
00:22:58.060
Some of that's, you know, it's a little too much, but that's just, you know, that's, I
00:23:06.100
mean, that's just kind of history kind of stuff, but, but yeah, you see somehow as you're
00:23:12.580
like, well, it just, you know, we shouldn't, we got to do something to future it up a little
00:23:21.660
You see some old school historical joints out there.
00:23:31.780
I, I, I want to let you know the support for this past weekend comes from Manscaped.
00:23:45.080
You know, when I was younger, you wouldn't let anybody come near your, your crotch with
00:23:56.260
You know, nowadays you'll take a little machine and put it right up next to your wing, right
00:24:00.260
up next to your pecker, you know, next to your body meat, bro.
00:24:06.240
Manscaped is forever changing the body grooming game with their perfect package 2.0.
00:24:16.000
You can support, support the podcast, support the podcast inside the perfect package 2.0.
00:24:23.900
You'll find an electric trimmer called the lawnmower.
00:24:30.260
You couldn't even carve your wiener off if you wanted to praise God, baby.
00:24:33.800
You know, when I used to live in Mississippi, I worked on a farm over there outside of Natchez,
00:24:41.380
Mississippi, and they had a fellow up there and his family ran the Ramada up there and
00:24:49.120
he was high on drugs and took his own, took his own penis off one time at a barbecue when
00:24:59.440
Sweeney was his name and they call him, eventually call him No Weenie Sweeney.
00:25:10.520
But anyway, the perfect package 2.0 also includes anti-chafing boxer briefs that keep your crotch
00:25:22.160
And look, nobody knows how the summertime can affect that stick and bag like your boy.
00:25:30.500
It's time to get this perfect package 2.0 and to support this past weekend, get 20% off
00:25:36.560
and free shipping with the code Theo at manscaped.com.
00:25:42.040
Get 20% off and free shipping with the code T-H-E-O at manscaped.com.
00:25:48.020
That's 20% off with free shipping at manscaped.com.
00:25:58.780
You know, oh, I got to tell you how much time right now I have no smoking.
00:26:09.280
Right now, I have five months, three days, and 17 hours cigarette free.
00:26:18.160
And sometimes I want one of them bastards, man.
00:26:41.780
But I'm five months clear off of them, and I will say this.
00:26:48.240
It's nice not to feel like I need to have one a lot of times.
00:26:54.640
Now, what I'm only 24 hours off of is, well, let's take this call right here,
00:27:02.500
and this fellow will kind of get into this topic a little bit right here.
00:27:16.920
In Florida, you know, if there's a place you want to run, you want to hide.
00:27:29.000
But it's really, it gets real country up at the top,
00:27:33.080
and then it gets fully homoerotic down there by Key West.
00:27:41.960
And shout out, too, to my little god cousin, Dylan.
00:27:48.240
And he just came out the closet, and his dad took his truck away for two weeks.
00:27:54.000
And that's where, you know, it's, that's why, you know, it's, I think, I mean, it's, you know, that's, that can happen.
00:28:10.260
You tell dad you're gay, he says, well, all right, you're going to lose that truck for two weeks, bucko.
00:28:23.380
But shout out Dylan, my little god cousin, hitting them Ubers, bruh.
00:28:31.800
And, you know, hopefully after the two weeks, you know, you get your truck back, and you and your dad can see eye to eye, and everything will be, you know, moving forward.
00:28:43.440
Imagine you told your dad you're gay, or something, and he goes, well, oh, all right, you gay, buddy.
00:29:02.280
So that's the most, that's the most rural shit I've ever heard, man.
00:29:07.080
You come out the closet, you lose your truck for two weeks, man.
00:29:14.280
Let's get this call, anyway, that came in here right here.
00:29:17.180
And the audio is a little bit low on this sucker.
00:29:27.580
Trying to stay away from that single-player devil's intercourse.
00:29:55.200
I got about 17 hours of no masturbation right now.
00:30:45.760
You know, and I appreciate you calling and sharing it, you know, and bringing it up, man.
00:30:53.420
You know, it's so hard to stop touching your own penis, you know, because it's hooked to
00:31:03.120
It's like tying a, you know, a biscuit right to the side of a fat fellow's head, man.
00:31:10.460
You know, and there's unlimited joy in your own penis.
00:31:21.280
That's, that's, you know, I respect what God does, but at a certain point, he could have,
00:31:29.800
He could have took a couple scoops of joy out of your wiener.
00:31:35.160
He would just, just, just shoveling in the joy into your own, you know, your body dick,
00:31:48.640
And here's the crazy thing about masturbation and trying not to do it.
00:31:55.460
You could break one of your hands and still jerk off completely fine, brother.
00:32:11.400
I mean, sometimes it feels like the devil himself picks my hands up and puts them onto my stick,
00:32:27.140
You know, I've been masturbating for 20 years, brother.
00:32:32.600
I mean, if I'd have put that time into the piano, bro.
00:32:37.540
If I'd have put that time into learning the French horn or learning how to do, you know,
00:32:49.980
Actually, I'd probably rather just jerk off and learn, than know magic, though.
00:32:56.140
But, um, man, I wish I had, you know, I wish I had a way for you right now.
00:33:06.000
I'd rather save up that nut, you know, that bust.
00:33:08.680
I'd rather corral that energy and feel, just feel the fish just swimming against the dam.
00:33:27.380
I mean, imagine if you, you know, you punched a hole in the front of your gas tank while you're driving.
00:33:37.760
Especially if you got a, if you got a girlfriend and stuff.
00:33:47.960
And just try and maybe even share with your girls.
00:33:50.360
Say, look, I want to say, look, I want to apologize if we haven't been sexual because I've been struggling with this.
00:33:55.680
Because, man, I've struggled with a lot over the years.
00:34:02.300
You know, I used to, I'd set a date up, have a, have a, excite, excitement for a date one evening.
00:34:11.360
And we're supposed to meet at quarter to eight.
00:34:20.940
If I've already masturbated, I don't care if it's Christmas.
00:34:31.400
You know, it's like all of my intrigue, all of my excitement, all of my hope and possibility, it's all just gnarled up in there in my chi.
00:34:47.320
So, but, you know, talking about it, the first thing that's important and, and I'm going to try, I'm going to see what I can do, man.
00:34:59.840
Because I want to, you know, there was a time there where I was really trying to have nocturnal emissions.
00:35:13.620
Because when you bust in a dream, man, that's, that's something bigger than you.
00:35:23.300
You know, that's something bigger than all of us.
00:35:37.720
And this episode, I want to let you know, is brought to you by Blue Chew.
00:35:43.680
If you've had problems in your body, or if you haven't, and you just want to feel that fervor.
00:35:50.420
You want to feel just like a thousand ants crawled into the end of your penis and are just looking for fun.
00:35:58.820
You can increase your performance and get that extra confidence in bed.
00:36:13.600
With the same FDA approved active ingredients as Viagra and Cialis.
00:36:27.640
And say, if the sexual, if sex doesn't present itself, at least you had a little snack.
00:36:35.080
You had a little bit of, you know, you had that baby candy and you got, you know, you got that erection.
00:36:46.600
You know, you could, even on a full stomach, don't matter.
00:36:50.680
And since they're chewable, they work up to twice as fast as pills.
00:36:54.680
Because I, you know, the non-chewable, you take that thing an hour later.
00:37:05.500
Blue Chew is prescribed online by licensed physicians.
00:37:10.000
So you don't have to go to the doctor's office or wait in line at the pharmacy.
00:37:15.960
You don't have to let your neighbor see you sneaking over there to get a little cock pill, you know.
00:37:24.180
That little petal, that little, that little wand pebble.
00:37:35.340
No more of these, you know, these ones from India make your knees sweat.
00:37:39.140
Make your cartilage, you know, deteriorate in your body.
00:37:41.600
That's bluechew.com, promo code THEO, to try it for free.
00:37:49.660
This past weekend, listeners, support the cast.
00:37:55.080
And get your first shipment free when you use special promo code T-H-E-O.
00:38:01.580
Again, that's bluechew.com, promo code THEO, to try it free.
00:38:24.280
I was, you know, recently in my life, I've been really stuck on just the fear side of things.
00:38:50.240
You know, there's just so much fear, I think, out there in the air right now.
00:38:57.220
It's starting to infect the other areas of my body.
00:39:19.240
And what I'm missing out on, I realize, is the opportunity for adventure.
00:39:31.580
You know, I was over there in Tennessee this weekend.
00:39:37.380
And I start thinking, well, what would it be like if I spent time here?
00:39:42.080
You know, was back and forth between the two coasts.
00:39:53.700
And then I just start to be like, oh, I can't imagine.
00:40:20.620
I look at them as fears instead of as opportunities.
00:40:23.220
Instead of saying, oh, man, this could be exciting.
00:40:42.220
I just realized so much of my life I live in the fear side.
00:40:48.460
You know, and I approach a lot of my days and my moments like that.
00:40:53.220
Whether I'm considering a new city or whether I'm considering even dating.
00:41:07.780
I don't even give things a chance to be love or to be bigger than just a couple dates or just a fly-by-night or a little touchy.
00:41:19.960
You know, I don't really give things the opportunity.
00:41:56.120
Just the risk of kind of letting go to shore and just seeing what any of the rapids are.
00:42:04.800
You know, I don't know how somehow along the way in my life I just got more...
00:42:24.680
You know, I can play it safe when I'm back in the ether.
00:42:30.080
You know, I can play it safe when I'm back in the palm of God's hand.
00:42:47.580
I just hold on to the branches of comfort so much.
00:42:57.740
And look at the rapids and say how exciting they are.
00:43:01.040
But so rarely am I willing to just really let...
00:43:07.300
Yeah, I just noticed that this weekend or this past week because I had so much fear just being in a new place and thinking about just new opportunity.
00:43:21.260
And I just leaned more into the fear instead of the possibility.
00:43:44.420
You know, I'm afraid of just trusting like a higher power.
00:43:51.160
Just trusting that there's something new out there.
00:44:14.420
How freeing it would feel to just say, you know what?
00:44:19.220
You know, I'm going to lean into the wind and not into the cliffside, you know, not into the rock.
00:44:37.960
I'm going to lean into the I don't know and not be as safe.
00:44:59.820
It's such the juice that this whole guava is based on, man.
00:45:24.220
I guess I started to feel kind of disappointed when I was like, man...
00:45:31.680
And then I got home and I started to feel scared.
00:45:45.040
And it's like, yeah, but maybe everything's going to be okay.
00:45:53.340
You know, I used to love the challenge so much.
00:46:13.640
The feeling I only even know sometimes is the feeling of the net against my back.
00:46:27.800
You know, I got so accustomed to these training wheels.
00:47:07.540
My name's Justin Cart from Nashville, Tennessee.
00:47:26.460
Because this past weekend, me and a bunch of friends of mine went and camped out at the Tennessee River.
00:47:33.860
Unfortunately, one of our friends took his own life a couple months back.
00:47:39.500
We all just now got to do the memorial because of the Corvid pushing everything back.
00:47:45.500
I just wanted to say that if anyone out there is, like, going through some shit and, like, don't think they can talk to anybody...
00:47:56.920
Like, everyone's gonna miss you if something happens.
00:48:13.080
You know, I've worried recently a lot about, um...
00:48:16.460
You know, a lot of my friends who struggle with addiction.
00:48:20.660
You know, a lot of the AA rooms have shut down during this.
00:48:25.620
You know, there used to be meetings all the time.
00:48:40.680
I would personally rather take the risk of dying of...
00:48:58.640
You know, going on benders for weeks at a time.
00:49:02.060
I just keep telling him, hey man, just hold on.
00:49:14.840
You know, it's just so many levels that people are being affected...
00:50:34.340
You know, cooking your buddy up straight into your lungs.
00:50:46.800
Put your buddy, bowl him up, smoke him out, you know.
00:50:53.360
You know, we're cooking up a little bowl of Steven.
00:51:11.440
And we cooked his little ass up and smoked him out of an apple.
00:51:19.520
You know, anybody could bury their friend and do...
00:51:24.560
You know, let's put him up there over by the hill by the haunted house.
00:51:30.320
You know, anybody could have their friend cremated and nothing.
00:51:34.640
You know, let's throw him off the parking garage of this Crown...
00:51:47.680
But to really celebrate somebody, if you want to get back into the old ways,
00:51:58.200
sprinkle it into a little graham dish, bro, and cook that bad bastard out.
00:52:37.100
You want to go into the world smelling good, feeling good.
00:52:41.180
You know, you want to go into the world with creams and solutions on your skin that elevate you.
00:52:59.100
Well, that's why I want to let you know about Hawthorne and why you should give it a try.
00:53:06.420
Hawthorne has a website you can go to and you take a quiz, a brief quiz that they have set up.
00:53:14.040
And they'll let you know what type of smell good potions and feel good potions are right for your style of human.
00:53:23.060
You know, they ask you how many times you, you know, how busy are you?
00:53:36.420
And next thing you know, they hit you with some easy to buy online, luxurious, scented goods.
00:53:57.520
You're going to get the sense that Hawthorne suggests.
00:54:02.400
They'll give you one for work and one for play.
00:54:11.120
All you do, take a quick two-minute survey and Hawthorne tells you the two colognes that are best for you.
00:54:20.140
It's risk-free with free shipping and free returns.
00:54:40.140
And use my promo code Theo to get 10% off your first purchase.
00:54:52.640
And use my code Theo to get 10% off your first purchase.
00:55:05.860
You know, different people make different choices for their bodies.
00:55:30.260
He owns a strain of motels over there in Flint, Michigan.
00:55:48.660
He was telling me he wants to get a low back tattoo.
00:56:00.340
But you also can't get a low back tattoo if you are a man.
00:56:12.060
And that right there is a gateway drug to homosexuality and probably prison time.
00:56:18.240
And it's fine if those are the things you're looking for.
00:56:23.920
But if you're just looking to do a little snazzy body art, you don't get a lower back tattoo.
00:56:32.140
Especially if you're slinging hotel rooms, man.
00:56:35.760
You're going to have a couple of fellas trying to sleep up in your ass, brother.
00:56:41.660
I told them I wouldn't recommend getting anything tattooed on your lower back as a straight man.
00:56:52.020
And he said, well, son, I want to get the hotel logo tattooed on my low back.
00:57:02.940
I say you get two flames coming off the side, coming right around to his hips.
00:57:08.260
The end of the flames is ending right down towards his nuts.
00:57:13.660
Get a big, huge banana right up and down his spine, man.
00:57:17.260
And get the hotel or whatever it is, Ramada, you know.
00:57:42.740
Rent your daddy a nice brother with that big body hammer for the night.
00:58:30.360
This is Billy Marshall out of Delray Beach, Florida.
00:58:36.200
And, man, I fell in love one time with a girl from Delray Beach.
00:58:46.480
Sent drawings of my dick and everything to her.
00:58:48.740
And she would, you know, you know, tell me what her breasts felt like and everything.
00:58:54.600
And describe it and send me, you know, little envelopes and stuff like that.
00:59:00.960
But, um, and we texted for months and months and months.
00:59:07.540
And we just, it was just, it was bafflingly bad.
00:59:16.080
And, uh, today was one of the craziest days I ever had at work.
00:59:23.960
I started working at this pest control company in February.
00:59:31.780
I'd love to see a real, you know, a pet, a real little rodeo man out there.
00:59:41.160
You know, somebody on a Quidditch broom just chasing a bunch of bees trying to get them bastards to chill out.
00:59:52.760
We need somebody out there wrangling these thoughts out there.
00:59:57.080
You know, you know, corralling these bitches into an urban outfitters or something.
01:00:05.420
And, uh, today, they, they're like, all right, go out to the property and go around the buildings and put your rat baits out.
01:00:14.480
The contract with LumaTrack, if you know what that is.
01:00:20.660
And it's, look, when you come to the Rat King and you're talking about killing rats, man, you got a lot of, uh, nerve.
01:00:32.400
And after I do the box, I look up and I see ten sharpshooters looking right at me with their rifles, like, aimed right at me.
01:00:47.180
And I changed the bait while the bomb, the bomb didn't end up going off.
01:01:02.820
Like, that's, that was an interesting experience, high on marijuana.
01:01:12.020
Is that pot can be a gateway drug, man, to bombings.
01:01:16.480
You do a little weed and then somebody blows up your fucking cousin, bro.
01:01:19.940
You know, you get high and suddenly you think they got a, you know, somebody taped a bunch of C4 up under your Silverado.
01:01:30.020
So, it's, I've been high enough where I feel like somebody's trying to bomb me.
01:01:34.160
But, to just be high and then they, and there's real bombs.
01:01:39.320
That's some, that's some, that's awesome, dude.
01:01:42.860
Dude, I remember the drug dogs would come to school.
01:01:45.220
And they would come smell everybody in the class.
01:01:49.000
And they said they were smelling if you had any weed on you, they would know.
01:01:52.540
And I remember raising my hand and I said, well, what if you're just high?
01:01:58.120
And, uh, and the teacher and the police officers were, were not happy about that.
01:02:07.200
Because I didn't have any weed on me, bro, but I had that shit in my brain.
01:02:23.940
And, uh, all right, let's get into, uh, into this last call here.
01:02:36.120
Uh, thank you guys for, uh, for being a part of this episode.
01:02:54.840
Some Fresh Rat King, Vermin with the Sermon Hitters.
01:02:58.300
And, uh, you can check all those out at TheovanStore.com, I believe.
01:03:07.120
Um, and thank everybody for supporting this podcast and for being a part of my life.
01:03:12.180
You know, I can't wait till the world opens up and I can, uh, get back to telling jokes.
01:03:17.380
And, um, and thanks for just bearing with me, you know.
01:03:31.780
You know, there's a lot of things out there trying to divide us.
01:03:39.120
You know, trying to divide people by easy things.
01:03:44.360
Um, but, you know, we got to refuse to let them do that.
01:03:49.880
You know, and we have to refuse to do that for ourselves, you know.
01:04:00.440
I'm not going to let things, if I can help it, I'm going to work harder to not let things take that love out of me.
01:04:08.980
You know, I'm going to lean into the things that are, that are tough and just put, you know, spread a couple of damn pints of joy jam on my shoulders and just lean head into.
01:04:22.600
Let's see if I can't sweeten the deal that way.
01:04:28.860
Let's take one more call that happened right here.
01:04:42.020
My girlfriend just, uh, just passed away with an overdose, uh, like, Sunday night.
01:04:55.780
You know, I was awake crying all night, uh, and your podcast came out.
01:05:01.000
And, uh, at the end, uh, Evan Barcell's song was on, uh, a thousand times.
01:05:10.460
It just seemed like it put everything, you know, in the, in the right perspective.
01:05:15.820
It's like it was, uh, like, I've got to go on, you know, and continue with life and make her proud.
01:05:24.880
And, uh, because that's what, you know, that's what I imagine she would want of me.
01:05:30.440
And that's what I would want of her if I was in her position.
01:05:33.320
And, uh, yeah, and just, uh, it's been kind of a rough couple days, man.
01:05:42.700
And, uh, just, uh, you do a really good job of, uh, of bringing people that's down, uh, in any kind of way.
01:05:55.020
Uh, just because I believe it's because you've been there and you, you've been, you've been to a shitty time before and you've been through shitty times before.
01:06:02.580
And, you know, that you don't want other people to feel like you did.
01:06:17.480
I'm so sorry to hear about your girlfriend, man.
01:06:19.560
Um, you know, I'm sorry to hear, hear about that.
01:06:33.540
She didn't want, you know, she didn't want to be addicted.
01:06:40.240
You know, it's a real, I mean, it is a real, it's a real dirty Batman that's out there, man.
01:06:53.440
Uh, but thank you for the, thank you for, for, for just sharing what's going on with us, man.
01:07:03.460
I think it reminds us and, you know, I don't want to be, you know, I don't want this to be like a downer type thing.
01:07:09.360
It's just, this is a reminder that, that, you know, that life is a gift, that it did, that this is a fragile bridge we're walking on.
01:07:17.300
You know, you know, you know, you know, that this is a limited time offer.
01:07:25.500
And that we have to make the most of it and that it's time to lean in to life.
01:07:46.420
It's time to lean in to life for, for all the risk and for all the reward, you know.
01:08:02.820
It's a, it is a, it is a chance for us to feel risk and to experience it.
01:08:11.680
And whether you, whether that risk is falling in love or, or, or trying a new job or trying a new skill or.
01:08:22.360
You know, those are the, those are the, those are the, those are the gifts, man.
01:08:40.240
Those are the, those, those are the, that's the purpose of it.
01:08:45.180
You know, if I just stand the whole time and I just stand in the safety of it all.
01:08:54.700
Then I'm not really getting the most out of this vessel.
01:09:06.500
I'm just trying to remind myself, you know, just not to be afraid to try something new.
01:09:11.500
Not to be afraid to walk into a relationship with the possibility of it being more.
01:09:23.660
You know, I'm just trying to remind myself not to.
01:09:51.540
But either way, just not to be afraid just to live.
01:10:00.280
But I'm sorry to hear about your girl and thanks for the nice words, man.
01:10:03.140
I don't, you know, I don't know what I'm doing ever.
01:10:23.940
You know, and it sounds like, uh, that she would want you to be, to be the type of person that,
01:10:49.960
You know, y'all, you could always roll up a J of your lady
01:11:04.380
we'll finish, we'll, we'll, we'll finish up right here.
01:11:19.660
You know, cause I do believe that this life here is just a park,
01:11:49.660
You know, make the most out of this parking lot.
01:11:54.440
Or you could park in the handicap spot illegally
01:12:06.400
this fake handicap placard off of my dang thing.
01:12:19.660
and that was supportive of the podcast this weekend.
01:12:23.100
if anybody out there is going through a tough time,