This Past Weekend with Theo Von - October 13, 2020


E300 Fence Rabbits


Episode Stats

Length

1 hour and 19 minutes

Words per Minute

145.19662

Word Count

11,597

Sentence Count

1,039

Misogynist Sentences

37

Hate Speech Sentences

46


Summary

In this episode I talk about a woman I met in a crepery shop and how I tried to get into her pants but was rejected. I also talk about how I fell in love with a woman behind the counter at the creperie.


Transcript

00:00:00.000 we had a female trucker that canceled.
00:00:05.140 Couldn't make it in here.
00:00:08.480 And, you know, that's just the way it is sometimes out there on the road.
00:00:12.580 You know, that's why the road comes in different patterns.
00:00:15.260 You know, you can get an interstate.
00:00:18.760 Keeps going.
00:00:19.620 You get an intersection.
00:00:21.900 Meets up with something.
00:00:22.860 You get cul-de-sac.
00:00:26.160 You get dead end.
00:00:27.540 You get other roads.
00:00:35.100 So, trucker canceled.
00:00:38.760 So, you know the podcast is going well when a female trucker cancels on it.
00:00:47.660 Gasoline females, you know, just ladies out there burning gasoline.
00:00:51.780 18-wheeler bitches.
00:00:53.300 You know what I'm saying?
00:00:54.060 Legitimate women.
00:00:57.540 So, what else happened?
00:00:58.780 I got rejected by a woman.
00:01:00.340 I don't know if, well, not even the trucker.
00:01:02.480 I didn't even think about that.
00:01:03.620 But, I hit on a woman and got rejected.
00:01:10.220 I'll tell you what happened.
00:01:11.440 So, you know, I went to this place out here.
00:01:15.600 And we're coming out to you live right now from the Central East out here.
00:01:18.720 And I went to a locale here, local shop.
00:01:25.360 And they sold crepes, crepery.
00:01:29.580 And I don't know what a crepe is, but I didn't care.
00:01:33.100 Once I saw this lady working there, I said, all right, you know.
00:01:36.760 I'll eat them until, you know, she and I are married if I have to.
00:01:40.040 They had a girl in there and I saw her and, you know, I made some small talk and it was awkward because we both had masks on, you know.
00:01:51.460 So, having a mask on, it's kind of like the beginning of like Shrek or whatever, you know, because you don't know how anybody really, you're not getting the full package.
00:02:08.580 You're just kind of getting that Japanese package of somebody, you know, kind of snout up or mid-snout upwards.
00:02:15.300 You know, you're kind of getting that, you know, like everybody's kind of a desert nine, you know, when they got that Middle Eastern, you know, a lot of Middle Eastern women, they wear the, kind of that word yarmulke, whatever it is, that, that muffler.
00:02:38.640 You know, they wear that front muffler, you can't see them.
00:02:41.240 I was in Saudi Arabia one time at the airport and they had a man there and a fat fella, I'll be honest with you, he really was.
00:02:52.880 And I had, if I could think of another word to describe him, I would use it.
00:02:59.460 But I cannot, and this man was what you would call a fat fella.
00:03:02.880 And he had about five women with him, all of his wives, and they all had on that, you know, just that little, kind of, they're all wearing like a what's behind door number one kind of curtain right on their face.
00:03:17.420 You know, you can't see them all.
00:03:19.420 So that's called that desert nine, you know, or that desert eight.
00:03:22.240 Everybody's kind of a desert nine when you can only see the eyes.
00:03:24.700 So I went in there and I'd seen her and I was like, you know, was nervous and anyway, you know, I went in there and I went in there a follow-up time.
00:03:36.880 Because I'm the kind of guy that'll show up somewhere, fall in love with a woman that works behind a counter.
00:03:42.340 I don't know if you've ever done this, but I'll, I'll go somewhere, fall in love with somebody who works at the place and then try and, and then go back to the place to try and profess my love or make a connection.
00:03:58.080 So anyway, so I go back and I was nervous and we talked about MMA fighting.
00:04:06.180 We talked about adult male, you know, uh, you know, fighting.
00:04:13.940 And so I figured I would try and talk about that again when I saw her, I couldn't remember her name.
00:04:20.260 And so I was like, Hey, remember me, you know, what's your name?
00:04:25.660 And she's like, Oh, my name is, you know, Clara, I believe her is her name.
00:04:30.320 Um, and so then I was like, Oh, uh, have you been watching any of the fights?
00:04:40.580 And she said, no, I haven't.
00:04:42.720 And then I was like, so you ever like are so nervous that you can't even hear what the other person is saying.
00:04:50.340 You're just like, Oh, have you ever watched any of the fights?
00:04:53.120 And you just, you can't even no matter what their answer is, your next question is going to be something like, do you have a boyfriend?
00:05:01.120 You know, uh, so she said, I don't know what she said.
00:05:05.980 She might've, who knows?
00:05:07.280 She could have been calling the police, but I was like, Oh, do you, you know, have, um, maybe we should watch the fight sometime.
00:05:15.140 And, and that was kind of weird because I didn't, I don't even know kind of how she responded if she was like, yeah, or maybe, or, um, and then I was like, Oh, do you have a boyfriend?
00:05:29.680 And that's how I said it to give a boyfriend?
00:05:33.000 Like, I just got so just, I was just strung up, you know, just like when you see a rabbit and he's got one of his legs caught in the, uh, in that wire.
00:05:44.720 You know, do you have a boyfriend?
00:05:47.720 And that's how I was verbally, you know, I was that verbal kind of hung rabbit.
00:05:54.760 And she said, I do.
00:05:57.420 And I didn't have a plan for her having a boyfriend.
00:06:03.620 I did not have, my plan was I, I ask her out and she maybe says yes or no, I guess.
00:06:14.400 This was also, I mean, that's probably, that's always, that's the biggest option, but I didn't have a plan for when I was going to think she says, do I, I'm making this story so long.
00:06:24.620 So I was thinking, okay, I asked her and then she said, she says, no, I don't.
00:06:30.240 And then I follow up with, oh, well, maybe I could take you out sometime or I could buy you something that's not a crepe, you know, or something, just a chill line.
00:06:39.560 Well, I said, do you have a boyfriend?
00:06:41.280 And she said, yes.
00:06:44.360 And so when she said yes, I couldn't, it was, it would have been weird for me to follow up with, oh, well, maybe we should go out sometime.
00:06:51.660 And so I didn't know what to ask her.
00:06:55.700 So I just asked her name again.
00:07:00.660 And I was like, oh, what was your name?
00:07:03.600 So it just didn't make, it didn't make any sense, man.
00:07:08.340 Oh, it just didn't make any sense, man.
00:07:11.460 So anyway, oh, and this was the worst part.
00:07:16.600 Then I had to, I'd already ordered the food.
00:07:18.800 So I had to sit there.
00:07:19.780 She said, yes.
00:07:20.580 I was like, oh, what was your name?
00:07:23.180 What is your name?
00:07:24.100 I said, what is your name?
00:07:26.280 What is your name?
00:07:28.200 And she told me her name again.
00:07:29.720 And then the conversation was just, and then she'd like given me like my plate and fork and knife that comes with your food that you order.
00:07:38.320 And you just go sit down at your table and then it comes out.
00:07:40.600 And I was the only person in there.
00:07:42.840 So now I have to sit and I, this is where I really messed up.
00:07:46.200 I sat facing the counter.
00:07:49.660 I sat facing her at the counter.
00:07:52.500 And then I had to sit there and just eat a crepe, which is the loneliest, saddest thing you can eat as a rejected man.
00:08:01.940 It's almost feels like one of those Japanese games shows like, oh, you lost, you eat the crepes, you know?
00:08:06.600 And so I'm sitting there just eating this sad, every bite tasted like this girl did not like me.
00:08:15.020 But I did it.
00:08:19.400 I did it.
00:08:20.200 I went in there.
00:08:21.480 I asked her out.
00:08:24.080 I didn't get, she didn't, I, there was no option.
00:08:28.060 And I asked her her name again.
00:08:31.180 And then I sat and point blank ate a crepe in front of this woman.
00:08:40.760 Very, very sad.
00:08:42.080 Very, very sad.
00:08:45.920 So, so anyway, if you've ever been rejected, if you ever tried and failed with a woman, which I'm sure you have, or you wouldn't be listening to this podcast, then I'd love to know about it.
00:08:58.820 And I'd love to hear the sharing of it.
00:09:00.740 And if you can hit the hotline and keep it concise, you know, and hit the hotline, 985-664-9503.
00:09:12.220 And let me know about that moment.
00:09:14.520 Let me know how you handled it or how you didn't handle it.
00:09:17.700 The succeeding is in the trying.
00:09:20.040 That's where it is.
00:09:21.960 That's where it is.
00:09:24.180 So, if you've ever been rejected, bro, rejected nation, son, you feel me?
00:09:29.500 Gang, man.
00:09:31.400 We out here, man.
00:09:33.860 We out here.
00:09:35.500 Let's get into the episode.
00:09:43.220 This is Paul Cawthon, Holy Ghost Fire.
00:09:50.320 I got the Holy Ghost Fire and it's burning in me.
00:09:54.000 I got the Holy Ghost Fire and it's burning down the streets.
00:10:11.400 I got a sweet little patty at your own in the caddy with me.
00:10:18.400 I got a sweet little patty at your own in the caddy with me.
00:10:30.680 I got a whole lot of product for my Holy Ghost Mama.
00:10:33.700 She's making sweet eyes for me.
00:10:36.460 Don't let me down, sweet mama.
00:10:42.320 Oh, sweet mama, don't let me down.
00:10:46.840 I'm a no-no-no-sman.
00:10:51.820 I'm dying to get you in the palm of my hand.
00:10:54.700 I'm dying to work in the long gone land.
00:11:04.160 If you knew the truth about me, baby, girl, in hell, you'd stay.
00:11:12.700 If you knew the truth about me, ain't no way in hell, girl, you'd stay.
00:11:16.700 If you knew the truth about me, ain't no way in hell, girl, you'd stay.
00:11:22.160 Have you disappointed a woman in your life, Riley Mal?
00:11:28.380 Oh, have I?
00:11:29.640 I definitely have.
00:11:37.220 And how do you feel about it now, now that some time has passed?
00:11:41.240 I would say pretty great because she wasn't the one.
00:11:45.260 And in hindsight, how do you know that she wasn't?
00:11:49.540 I think it was just the feeling.
00:11:50.740 I just had a strong feeling she wasn't the one.
00:11:54.240 But at the time, you had a feeling she was, huh?
00:11:56.340 Oh, of course.
00:11:57.700 And what was it you think leading you down that path to thinking she was?
00:12:01.320 Do you think it was naivety?
00:12:02.540 Do you think it was sensualness?
00:12:07.160 Do you think it was the devil?
00:12:10.380 What do you think it was, really?
00:12:11.420 No, I think she just, I don't know.
00:12:16.360 She just, she was acting really different and odd.
00:12:21.300 Like, what was she doing?
00:12:22.360 Like, what do you mean?
00:12:22.920 Like, walking, like, sleepwalking or something?
00:12:25.140 Well, apparently, what I was told is that she's pregnant.
00:12:30.160 I was like, ha-ha, what?
00:12:33.520 So then I...
00:12:34.940 Fell in love for a pregnant woman.
00:12:36.920 Pretty much, and I had no idea because she wasn't showing yet, so it was very early in the stage.
00:12:41.780 And I literally had no idea.
00:12:44.220 That pregnancy, the first three months, they can trick you.
00:12:47.460 That's the thing about leeway.
00:12:49.620 That's called leeway, Riley.
00:12:51.040 And that's where, you know, a woman will have a certain amount of time, they can still trick another man.
00:12:58.360 They get pregnant over here, they get pregnant with Jerry, and then they tell him Lance, oh, I love you.
00:13:04.940 You know, I love you, come, you know, spray in me.
00:13:08.800 And then they trick you and say, oh, yeah, you, you know, you must have a strong seed.
00:13:13.000 I got that six-month baby.
00:13:14.240 You know, I got that little hatchling right here, six-month one.
00:13:20.120 You know, that little premature bad boy.
00:13:23.220 And he comes out weighing a pound, pound and a half, some of these children now.
00:13:28.800 You know, half the womb's out there.
00:13:30.660 You know, you see a womb up close on the camera, and the windows are busted out in it.
00:13:36.440 Half these women out here, they got, you know, they got Cardi B blaring out of the damn second floor of their womb.
00:13:41.940 You can't even know, you don't even know what's going on anymore.
00:13:44.240 You know, it's all people's thought and people, you know, somebody's, you know, you hear somebody stealing a purse and jumping off a rooftop of the damn womb, and you're like, what is going on here?
00:13:58.740 But that's where we are right now.
00:14:01.600 A lot of these prepackaged wombs, a lot of, you know, these prefab.
00:14:07.580 It used to be back in the old days, Riley, a woman had a decent womb in her.
00:14:11.120 You know about it?
00:14:13.840 You heard about it?
00:14:14.960 Yeah, definitely.
00:14:16.600 And then now you get these ladies, they got the damn, you know, you don't know if it's a womb or a damn Ziploc bag in there.
00:14:23.720 You don't know.
00:14:25.060 It's not as reliable as it once was.
00:14:27.140 Back in the day, they had a woman at a damn concrete womb.
00:14:29.700 It was something, you know, they had a bird's nest in the corner.
00:14:32.720 You know, they had, it was, there was more, there was something there.
00:14:37.580 There was something, it had a doorbell on it.
00:14:40.660 You know, it was a damn real place.
00:14:43.280 And now you got these, you know, they got somebody smoking on the porch.
00:14:47.060 You don't even know the guy.
00:14:50.500 So it's just, it's a different time, man.
00:14:54.280 It is a different time.
00:14:56.480 What's going on?
00:14:57.260 What's going on?
00:15:00.900 I was thinking the other day about, about racism.
00:15:07.740 Because obviously I think about it a lot.
00:15:10.680 And we've discussed it before on here, Riley.
00:15:14.260 Would you agree with that?
00:15:15.520 Well, I think, here's what I'm thinking is.
00:15:26.840 Nowadays, you see a lot of children, a lot of mixed children.
00:15:31.260 You know, you see somebody, and we talked about it last, a couple weeks ago.
00:15:34.080 There's somebody who's Japanese and Filipino.
00:15:38.700 You know.
00:15:39.920 Or you see somebody that's, you know, from Delaware.
00:15:44.640 And also somebody that's Malaysian.
00:15:49.700 You know, malware.
00:15:51.840 They'll call them or whatever.
00:15:53.820 But, when I was young, they called them mixed.
00:15:57.320 Oh, look at that little mixed fella.
00:15:59.200 You know, you'd see a kid, he'd have a white body, one black leg.
00:16:02.140 You know, you'd see a kid, he had a little, you know, maybe he was 10%, you know, maybe he was 10% pinoy.
00:16:15.320 And he'd have one kind of lean eye, you know.
00:16:20.260 It was just different, man.
00:16:21.440 You'd see, you know, but they call them mixed.
00:16:23.060 Oh, that little fella's mixed.
00:16:24.160 Look at him.
00:16:25.500 You know, you'd see a little, you'd see a black kid, but he'd have long blonde hair.
00:16:29.280 You know, and he'd perm his own hair at night.
00:16:33.940 He'd be like, oh, damn, he's something, you know.
00:16:38.020 So, it was just a different time.
00:16:39.480 People were more mixed.
00:16:40.500 But I'm thinking that, because there's still some racism out there.
00:16:46.060 You know, and I'll name a couple of groups that do not get along really well.
00:16:49.740 Or they get along well, but there's still some tension.
00:16:52.580 That's a better way to say it.
00:16:55.220 Black and white.
00:16:56.080 Chinese and black.
00:17:04.320 Also, Mexican and black in prison.
00:17:09.280 Okay?
00:17:10.240 And this is all stuff that I've heard from verified people.
00:17:15.680 And the rumor is black versus alien.
00:17:19.240 Or extraterrestrial, ETs.
00:17:20.880 You know, I have a lot of black friends that have told me that there is low-key beef between extraterrestrials and the urban community.
00:17:37.220 Do you know any, Riley, what groups that have racial tension?
00:17:46.240 Japanese and Germans.
00:17:47.500 There you go.
00:17:48.140 And there you go.
00:17:52.000 Right from the little horse's mouth right there, you heard it.
00:17:56.680 And where'd you hear about it?
00:17:59.780 In school, for one.
00:18:01.260 Okay.
00:18:02.000 But also for another, you know, a few of my friends that are German.
00:18:06.340 Sorry about that.
00:18:07.300 I have an email account.
00:18:11.240 But here's what I'm thinking is, the way we get to the future, because you see a lot of these fellas now, a lot of these ladies that are doing well when it's mixed culture.
00:18:22.400 You got your Patrick Mahomes is out there.
00:18:24.860 This guy, I mean, who knows what he's doing.
00:18:27.260 This dude do anything he wants.
00:18:30.280 You got, who's somebody that's mixed that does well, Riley?
00:18:33.700 Who else?
00:18:39.360 I'm trying to think of a female.
00:18:40.440 There's definitely other people.
00:18:42.260 But here's what I'm saying is that this, I think eventually all the race, every race will be mixed.
00:18:47.060 In two, three centuries, you're going to have, everybody is going to be part everything.
00:18:55.020 And then that's when everything gets unlocked, you know.
00:19:00.000 Like we kind of unlock some of the key to the universe when you get to that, you know, that kind of Captain Planet type shit, basically.
00:19:14.400 Because here's the thing, that's the thing, it's a magic deal.
00:19:17.060 Because everybody's still, you know, people still kind of cornering off for their respect.
00:19:22.080 People still blocking out, posting up for their own races a lot.
00:19:26.980 And I think the key to it all is, is once you get all of that, all of the race, once it's all mixed completely,
00:19:37.220 and you get that, you know, Jappanatric Mahomes, basically.
00:19:44.180 When you get that full, it's almost like if you took around a cup at a United Nations meeting.
00:19:50.340 You know, or even just a hand, you put your hand out like that.
00:19:53.840 Had everybody ejac into your hand at a UN rally or something.
00:19:59.820 Or a mixed event.
00:20:00.800 And you mix all of that up.
00:20:05.860 And you put that shit in the oven on high for about three hours, bro.
00:20:10.240 I bet when you open it up.
00:20:11.440 You got just a big bunt cake that it would never, ever be racist.
00:20:19.500 And I believe that a thousand percent, man.
00:20:22.860 So I'm just trying to think outside of the box.
00:20:24.780 You know, I'm just trying to think of things that could be the end game.
00:20:28.900 You know, I'm just trying to think of the things that would be the end game out here.
00:20:35.620 I got to let you know that today's episode is brought to you by Blue Chew.
00:20:40.800 Do you have a hard time taking pills like me?
00:20:45.180 If you're like me, you'll get all your vitamins in one hand in the morning.
00:20:49.660 12, 16 different, you know, pills and little nodules.
00:20:54.000 You know, hell, I'll even put a suppository in there and take it through the throat.
00:20:57.840 I'm a bad man.
00:20:59.620 And you get that stack, I'll put them in my mouth and just hit them with one big glass of water.
00:21:05.660 Try to do them all at once.
00:21:09.140 But if you're, if you have a hard time taking pills like me, you're not alone.
00:21:13.440 That's why you need to get the only Sildenafle and Tadalafle Chewables by visiting BlueChew.com.
00:21:22.780 If you like sex or, uh, or just even just, or even just jerking yourself off when you're extremely hard, then you will love Blue Chew.
00:21:34.560 Blue Chew.
00:21:36.260 You get the first chewables for the bedroom.
00:21:39.780 That's right.
00:21:41.320 BlueChew.com affiliated physicians work with you to find the dosage and active ingredient that is best for you.
00:21:47.640 They're not going to put you on a 98 octane if you only got a, if you get, if you run on a transmission that can only handle a 70 octane.
00:21:56.380 They don't want you so hard you can't even hug anybody.
00:22:00.540 Sometimes you see somebody so erect they can't even hug someone.
00:22:04.480 Because they just, they overdosed them with the weaner hitters.
00:22:09.600 You know, they just, next thing you know, they got a job as a scarecrow.
00:22:12.920 And they still haven't been laid.
00:22:15.680 Because the doctors are overdosing you.
00:22:17.640 It only takes a few minutes to connect with a BlueChew.com affiliated physician.
00:22:23.940 And if you qualify, you get prescribed online quickly.
00:22:27.180 There's no in-person doctor visit.
00:22:28.920 No awkward conversation.
00:22:30.520 No waiting in line at a pharmacy.
00:22:33.460 Ships directly to your door in discreet packaging.
00:22:37.080 Here's a great deal for you guys.
00:22:38.560 Visit BlueChew.com and get your first order free when you use promo code Theo.
00:22:45.260 Just pay $5 shipping.
00:22:46.840 That's B-L-U-E-C-H-E-W dot com.
00:22:52.560 Promo code T-H-E-O.
00:22:58.180 I remember one time just being, and I don't know what had gone on.
00:23:02.180 I think somebody come through town with a new dish, a new, you know, a new type of maybe Mexican food or something.
00:23:12.460 You know, a new spice or something.
00:23:14.120 Because I grew up in a time people would come through town, something would come through town and it would hit everybody.
00:23:20.800 You know, I remember a bad hit of LSD, a bad batch of LSD came through our town and nobody could spell anything.
00:23:27.760 Nobody could, you know, a fire batch or the kids would call it now a fire ass batch of LSD came through town and people couldn't spell.
00:23:36.440 People couldn't, I remember one type of drug came through town, people couldn't tie their shoes in our town for half a month.
00:23:42.600 People walking around just, you know, people having to wear slippers a lot.
00:23:48.720 You'd see a working man, an electrical man out there in slippers.
00:23:52.380 You'd see people walking into the mine with their, you know, shoes untied.
00:23:56.040 Just couldn't, it was a different time.
00:23:59.520 It was a way different time.
00:24:00.980 What else?
00:24:03.360 I remember heavy golf balls.
00:24:04.420 Somebody sold a batch of heavy golf balls.
00:24:07.160 They'd, whenever they got them made, they were too heavy.
00:24:10.680 And so suddenly all the men in our town, they were hitting ball, hit doing golf, but they couldn't, the scores were low.
00:24:17.160 Take a man 11 shots to do a par four.
00:24:20.420 You know, men out there crying, men start drinking, abusing their wives and lying.
00:24:25.440 You know, so I grew up in a time where a, a rare product or a, a misman, they used to call it mismanufacturement would trouble a society, would ruin a small town, ruin a small town.
00:24:41.800 And then I remember, yeah, a certain, a rare spice or something, something maybe a native, I don't know what happened.
00:24:47.780 Maybe something was in the water and everybody, all the, you know, people were just damn erect.
00:24:52.680 God, people were erect.
00:24:55.720 I mean, you'd have a, you know, you'd have a bird laying right on your front.
00:25:02.620 For no reason, you know, a dog would just come run at you and just grab you by the front.
00:25:08.880 And it was just, I mean, it was just insane.
00:25:16.640 You know, it was just insane.
00:25:20.180 But you got to be careful.
00:25:21.240 You got to be careful and get the right dose for your peen, baby.
00:25:24.960 You run high on that dose, man.
00:25:26.640 You will, I mean, you will just, I mean, your lips get hard.
00:25:30.560 You can't close your eyes.
00:25:31.720 I've taken some pills that'll, I mean, that'll make you damn cry.
00:25:39.900 You know?
00:25:42.280 Make you cry, man.
00:25:43.280 What else do we have, man?
00:25:46.140 Let's get into, well, we had a couple calls, man, and I had a lot of nice calls after last
00:25:51.560 week's episode, but we got some calls.
00:25:53.340 People come through with some different calls and verbal calls right here.
00:25:59.060 As always, the hotline, 985-664-9503.
00:26:04.360 Let's get into that.
00:26:09.540 See you, man.
00:26:10.380 Hey, we're calling out here really close to Covington.
00:26:13.700 Hello, man.
00:26:14.820 And Covington, that's my hometown.
00:26:18.760 Did you know I was from somewhere, Raleigh?
00:26:20.740 I did not know exactly where.
00:26:27.480 Well, I am from Covington, Louisiana.
00:26:29.880 Do you know what it's famous for?
00:26:33.080 Cheese?
00:26:35.200 Oh, wait, that's Wisconsin.
00:26:37.120 Yep, nope.
00:26:38.240 It is famous for tallest statue of Ronald Reagan in America.
00:26:44.260 Tallest full copper statue of Ronald Reagan.
00:26:47.540 You have a favorite statue?
00:26:50.740 I can't say I do.
00:26:58.220 You got to have one, man.
00:26:59.560 You should get one.
00:27:00.220 I like, I'll tell you a couple of mine.
00:27:01.880 You're welcome to borrow it if you need one.
00:27:03.240 There's one in, there was the tallest Bob Hope statue, and that was in Duran, I believe
00:27:12.180 it was Duran, Illinois.
00:27:14.360 Can you look that up, actually, if you mind, Raleigh, Mal?
00:27:16.260 Yeah.
00:27:16.380 I hate to put you to work there, but you got to do something, you know.
00:27:25.200 Tallest Bob Hope statue.
00:27:28.080 Peoria, Illinois has a Richard Pryor statue that I believe is full pewter, or maybe 70% pewter
00:27:35.480 or something, and they quit putting copper in a lot of statues because a lot of homeless
00:27:40.500 and drug addicts or DAs will chip it out and sell it and smoke it.
00:27:52.620 Smoke drugs with the money.
00:27:54.260 So, you'll, you know, you do a copper statue, and then next thing you know, it only has
00:27:59.960 one arm, and they got, you know, 11 more, you know, 11 more people smoking crack near
00:28:06.560 you, and you're just wondering how it all financially made sense.
00:28:11.400 What do you have, a tallest Bob Hope statue?
00:28:13.700 Any information?
00:28:14.800 Oh, you wanted Bob Hope.
00:28:16.440 I looked up the Statue of Hope in Friendship, Indiana.
00:28:21.980 Oh, okay.
00:28:22.820 What is that?
00:28:24.260 It is a private memorial or monument displayed in a graveyard or cemetery.
00:28:29.880 Hope is one of the seven virtues of the Christian religion.
00:28:32.500 So, it's literally just about hope.
00:28:34.280 Oh, that's beautiful.
00:28:35.240 Not Bob Hope, but.
00:28:36.800 Okay.
00:28:37.700 Well, that's close enough, man.
00:28:39.240 If you get that Bob Hope intel, let us know.
00:28:42.480 So, yeah, but I appreciate it, fella.
00:28:43.760 And what I'm telling you is down a heat call from Covington, Louisiana, and that's, have
00:28:47.440 the world's stall, uh, stall a statue of Ronald Reagan.
00:28:52.360 And that's 10 feet tall, unprecedented, Ronald.
00:28:55.720 People refer to it locally, or the UR.
00:29:00.040 Onward.
00:29:01.260 We just want to say, hope you're doing good.
00:29:03.240 We appreciate everything.
00:29:04.580 We just made it through God.
00:29:06.380 Uh, keep everything on the top shelf, man.
00:29:08.320 We love you.
00:29:09.120 Later.
00:29:09.340 Amen.
00:29:10.840 And they just made it through the storm down there in Louisiana.
00:29:13.280 Storm Delta.
00:29:15.120 And that's where we're at now.
00:29:16.420 We got airlines sponsoring the storms.
00:29:19.760 What, that's how it is now.
00:29:21.740 This next storm brought to you by Intergy.
00:29:24.980 This next storm brought to you by TaskRabbit.
00:29:28.500 Here's a storm.
00:29:31.380 Here's a tornado brought to you by Bratches Candies.
00:29:36.980 Do you like Bratches?
00:29:38.880 Get you some.
00:29:41.940 And next thing you know, your house is on its ass.
00:29:46.460 That's what it's coming to.
00:29:48.460 It's coming to natural disasters sponsored by companies.
00:29:54.900 Oh, okay.
00:29:57.360 Here's your Kraft macaroni and earthquakes, brother.
00:30:01.140 You want some of that?
00:30:03.240 Rabies.
00:30:03.840 Oh, this strand.
00:30:05.260 It's fierce.
00:30:07.920 It's just as fierce as the new Spotify.
00:30:13.700 I'm just telling you what's next, guys.
00:30:16.400 It's all for sale now.
00:30:19.060 It's all for sale.
00:30:21.580 But I'll say this about Louisiana.
00:30:23.440 And I'm hyped up.
00:30:24.200 I'll tell you I'm hyped up.
00:30:26.440 You know, and I'm tired of sometimes, you know, I'm not tired of anything.
00:30:29.740 But sometimes I'm hyped up and sometimes I'm not.
00:30:33.260 Sometimes I have a different mood.
00:30:35.940 And I'm hyped up today.
00:30:39.340 You know, we're supposed to have a trucker and we don't have a trucker.
00:30:41.760 We're supposed to have a trucker and we don't have a trucker.
00:30:52.900 Okay.
00:30:55.380 So that's where I'm at.
00:30:56.840 I'm handling it.
00:30:58.080 I'm moving forward.
00:30:59.620 But dude, every time I'm afraid to even call people in Louisiana anymore.
00:31:05.060 When I call home, man, everybody's hiding from a storm.
00:31:07.920 Oh, what's going on?
00:31:09.040 We under a blanket right now.
00:31:11.420 We got 40 of those weighted blankets.
00:31:13.960 You know, we riding it out.
00:31:15.580 Yeah, we having a party.
00:31:18.600 We just, you know, we got five handles of Tito's.
00:31:24.320 You know, hell, the dog's having a damn Jell-O shot right now.
00:31:28.780 We out here at my cousin's.
00:31:30.080 We riding it out.
00:31:31.200 We driving to Austin.
00:31:34.300 I feel like the only thing, living in Louisiana is basically like playing hide-and-go-seek with the weather.
00:31:40.020 That's it.
00:31:41.880 It's just like you and Mother Nature in a game of Red Rover.
00:31:45.900 That's what's going on when you're living down there in Louisiana on the Gulf Coast.
00:31:49.960 We're packing everything up.
00:31:53.320 I'm like, y'all just moved in.
00:31:55.140 Yeah, we moving out.
00:31:57.580 The rain's coming.
00:32:01.200 Oh, man, bless you guys.
00:32:02.420 I'm glad you guys made it through it.
00:32:05.180 I'm glad you guys made it through it, man.
00:32:06.700 And thanks for the update.
00:32:08.420 And, you know, it gets me.
00:32:11.120 Remember about four.
00:32:15.960 You hear that rain, Riley?
00:32:18.520 I do.
00:32:19.880 It's cool, huh?
00:32:21.520 Yeah, that's a lot.
00:32:24.540 That's a lot, man.
00:32:25.460 That's cool.
00:32:25.840 That's one thing that's different, man, about living here instead of living in California, predominantly, anyway, is just feeling that weather come.
00:32:37.980 In California, if there's weather, you feel like it's part of a movie set.
00:32:43.320 You're just, because it's always the same.
00:32:46.380 The weather's always nice.
00:32:47.300 So you get something a little different.
00:32:49.860 You feel like somebody just cute.
00:32:51.100 It was part of, like, the producer just sent it, or director just, send in the, let's do five mile, five mile per hour winds.
00:32:58.340 Yeah, can you raise the wind and send a bird, let's send a bird, send two birds.
00:33:05.680 Yeah, it's spring.
00:33:08.860 That's what it feels like out there in California if something comes through that it's all designed.
00:33:14.140 But here you get a natural piece of something.
00:33:19.120 And it's nice, man.
00:33:20.240 You remember that there's a bigger director out there.
00:33:22.360 There's Mother Nature's out there.
00:33:23.680 And that bad bitch is Union, and she is, she's doing whatever she wants now because she has tenure, and she's not worried about getting fired, and she gets a two-hour lunch break, even though she only has a five-hour work day.
00:33:37.580 So, but, anyway, thanks for that call, man.
00:33:41.440 Raleigh Mel, you got any information on that Bob Hope statue?
00:33:45.580 I do.
00:33:46.240 So, it says that Bob Hope may be something of a forgotten figure, as a Los Angeles Times writer said in a November 29th story about a new biography on the late comedian Hope, entertainer of the century.
00:33:59.420 Okay, what about the statue, Bubba?
00:34:01.860 There is a nine-foot, five-inch tall fiberglass and cement statue that has stood for 34 years in Rockford.
00:34:11.220 Rockford, Illinois?
00:34:12.620 Yes, sir.
00:34:13.140 Wow.
00:34:14.380 Yeah, man, that's beautiful.
00:34:15.560 Now, see, that's something you see different places.
00:34:18.060 Small towns like to do that and like to honor something.
00:34:21.640 Tallest statue, Bob Hope.
00:34:23.440 Did he ever go see it, does it say?
00:34:30.460 And there you go, ladies and gentlemen.
00:34:32.220 That's Raleigh Mel right there.
00:34:34.060 All right, let's take, let's take another call that came in here.
00:34:39.000 This was from actually the New Jersey show.
00:34:42.740 And this fella came through and he sent in a video, actually.
00:34:47.100 And this fella named Dan Romeo.
00:34:49.740 Yo, what's up, Theo?
00:34:50.940 So, here we go.
00:34:52.300 Kind of hard to see because of this camera angle, but.
00:34:56.900 And if you can see on the video here, they got video.
00:35:00.880 And he sent us video.
00:35:03.400 And video, basically, it's like a million pictures at once, man.
00:35:07.860 Right here, we got Dan Romeo hitting us up.
00:35:09.940 And he just showed us, if you can see on the video here, he showed us he's a wheelchair man, this man.
00:35:14.980 He's that bionic fella.
00:35:17.400 You know, he's that wheelie, wheelie hit man.
00:35:19.920 This dude could go off a ramp.
00:35:22.700 And be like that, man, and be wild.
00:35:25.400 Because of this camera angle, but.
00:35:27.340 My name's Dan.
00:35:28.320 I was that dude in the wheelchair at your late show in Jersey.
00:35:32.040 That shit was funny as fuck.
00:35:33.200 I don't think we expected anything less.
00:35:35.000 You killed it up there.
00:35:36.640 Thanks, brother.
00:35:37.380 I appreciate you, Daniel.
00:35:38.620 It's all good laughter in this pandemic time.
00:35:41.720 Take our minds off this shit for a little bit.
00:35:43.760 But, and fuck it, dude.
00:35:45.700 Me and you start traveling around this globe, fucking up people, fucking up family barbecues and three-legged racing and smoking them.
00:35:52.920 Both stay on our side of the leg.
00:35:54.160 You know what I'm saying?
00:35:55.080 But, uh.
00:35:55.960 I sure do, brother.
00:35:57.340 And I appreciate it, man.
00:35:58.420 I appreciate you with this call.
00:36:01.080 And, yeah, if you got no legs, man, I got two.
00:36:03.680 I'll give you one, man.
00:36:04.720 We'll both each stand there on it.
00:36:06.260 Like a flamingo.
00:36:08.560 You know, maybe have a, you know, share a cigarette or something.
00:36:11.180 Or, I'm not smoking now, but you could take some hits and blow it into my mouth as long as our lips don't touch.
00:36:15.900 You feel me?
00:36:16.560 Onward.
00:36:17.780 Yeah, man.
00:36:18.140 I appreciate the kind words and the shout-out.
00:36:20.020 That shit was unreal.
00:36:20.960 All my buddies and me, we all watched the podcast.
00:36:23.060 And we were all, they were all sending me clips before I got to watch it.
00:36:25.840 And I've, I was like, holy shit.
00:36:27.940 This is fucking unreal.
00:36:29.240 Ha ha.
00:36:30.500 Well, I appreciate you being out there, man.
00:36:32.420 And, you know, and I never, you know, I've always had legs.
00:36:39.080 My whole life.
00:36:40.340 And, you know, I didn't plan on it, but I just, you know, once I was alive, I just had them.
00:36:49.260 And, you know, so it's always interesting when I meet somebody that's, you know, that's just, that's doing it a different way.
00:36:59.700 Because I think life is like that.
00:37:03.220 Sometimes you get legs, sometimes you don't.
00:37:06.020 You know, it's kind of like mounds and almond joy.
00:37:10.280 You know, and I got them freaking almonds, bro, on me.
00:37:12.960 And you, you know, you more the, you more the, you roll them without.
00:37:21.060 You know, sand nuts, they call it.
00:37:24.220 But, but anyway, I love you, man.
00:37:26.700 And I appreciate it.
00:37:27.500 And it's good to see your face here, dude.
00:37:28.820 Because I couldn't see you that well from the stage.
00:37:31.100 And next time I come out there, dude, yeah, we'll go do a show.
00:37:34.280 Maybe we hit the vaudeville or something.
00:37:36.400 You know, I do a flute and you come out and do something.
00:37:38.840 Go off a little ramp or something.
00:37:41.700 You know, or maybe we get a train of animal to be involved.
00:37:44.940 Have a little canary land on you or something.
00:37:48.080 Or we have you in a box the whole time on the stage.
00:37:50.500 And then we surprise everybody at the end.
00:37:52.360 And you roll, you know, maybe part of the box opens up and you roll out.
00:37:58.040 You know, and do a, you know, do a bottle rocket or do something.
00:38:04.160 Some sort of flare activity or something.
00:38:07.040 So, a lot of possibilities, man.
00:38:14.200 A lot of possibilities.
00:38:17.700 What else do we got?
00:38:18.600 This episode's all over the place.
00:38:20.780 I will say that.
00:38:24.560 We got, this call came in.
00:38:26.780 Here we go.
00:38:31.160 Hey, Theo.
00:38:31.740 This is Brayden from Denver, Colorado.
00:38:34.620 Hey, Brayden.
00:38:36.540 And I got a little nephew named Brayden who lives over there in Spanish Fork.
00:38:43.320 In Alabama.
00:38:45.680 Let's hear more.
00:38:47.400 With all the negativity that's been going on in the news and the pandemic,
00:38:52.160 I just wanted to let you know about something positive that came about it.
00:38:57.220 My childhood friends back in middle school and high school were all over the country
00:39:03.240 and it's not for us to get together, but because of all the extra time everybody's got
00:39:08.980 and everybody working remotely, we have set up a Dungeons and Dragons campaign
00:39:14.100 that meets up once a week.
00:39:17.420 So, every Thursday, we get together and we hunt dragons
00:39:22.280 and do all sorts of fun stuff together.
00:39:24.900 Look, I think, oh man, I don't even know how to get into this.
00:39:34.180 I think it's beautiful you guys are getting together, man.
00:39:36.500 Do I think the Dungeons and Dragons always never really didn't know how to handle that vibe.
00:39:42.980 You know, you'd always be, you'd see people meeting up in the back of a Quiznos or something at night
00:39:48.940 and some guy's got a purple beard and he's got, you know, his lady's got them big, big, big, beefy tits, you know.
00:39:56.940 Them big frickin', them slush guppies, dog, them just damn like a damn, just big old tits, you know.
00:40:08.540 Kind of tits, you hear somebody rev a truck when you see them, just vroom, right when you see them.
00:40:13.480 Like, damn, you know.
00:40:16.440 That titty's got octane, you know.
00:40:18.080 It's just you feel that titty a little.
00:40:21.300 You see that titty, you know, like the kind of breast is so big it can tell you're looking at it.
00:40:28.360 So you look the other way out of sheer just embarrassment or, you know, mild shame.
00:40:33.160 But men meeting up to play Dungeons and Dragons at night, man, I'll tell you this.
00:40:37.240 I remember when I was in junior high.
00:40:38.800 And I was good in junior high and I saw they had some kids playing it outside one day.
00:40:48.060 And you'd see every, you know, one of the kids looked like Rapunzel and it was a boy, you know.
00:40:52.620 And he'd have his hair braided into a, you know, into the other kid was wearing his hair braid as a damn scarf.
00:40:58.520 And they were all, it was just wild shit.
00:41:01.480 You'd have, some guy would have his nose, his septum pierced and he'd have a spare key hanging off it.
00:41:05.700 And, you know, to get into school and all of them hated gym class.
00:41:11.600 These were the kids who did not like gym class.
00:41:13.540 And I saw a big goal.
00:41:17.320 We didn't get a lot of goals.
00:41:20.100 You know, seagulls, pelicans.
00:41:22.080 We didn't get a lot of them flying over campus when I was in junior high.
00:41:25.860 But every now and then, the winds would switch over there over the poncher train.
00:41:33.040 And a pelican would come, come by.
00:41:38.440 And I saw a pelican defecate onto a damn Dungeons and Dragons game.
00:41:48.360 And I, that shit made me feel good, man, honestly, when it happened.
00:41:54.720 May the pelicans be ever in your favor, my friend.
00:42:00.160 What about the news, brother?
00:42:02.920 Why don't you keep the news and get it ready for us?
00:42:05.060 I'm going to tell everybody about one of our sponsors right here.
00:42:10.120 And I want to tell you guys that, um, that there's something called Faerty.
00:42:17.940 And if you're not familiar with it, you should know.
00:42:21.980 With these times right now, I feel like fashion is over.
00:42:24.680 You know, you'll see somebody wearing a Triscuit box as a helmet.
00:42:31.620 You'll see somebody wearing a damn, uh, you know, you'll see somebody with a mask made out of a damn, uh, craft single.
00:42:41.580 In the words of my friend Trevor Wallace, that's what he says.
00:42:44.000 You know, he saw a man with a, you know, wearing a craft single as a mask.
00:42:47.980 You know, people are different.
00:42:51.060 There's different trends.
00:42:51.860 So how are we supposed to know what to shop for right now?
00:42:56.440 Well, don't buy for now.
00:42:58.900 Buy for forever.
00:43:01.480 For timeless pieces that will last a lifetime of wear, check out Faerty.
00:43:08.600 Faerty.
00:43:10.320 Faerty makes high quality, comfortable clothing for life.
00:43:14.280 That's right.
00:43:16.420 High quality, comfortable clothing for life.
00:43:20.720 You know, gone are the days when you go get you a little singlet or something.
00:43:25.320 Get you a new panty.
00:43:27.480 Oh, I don't have a panty.
00:43:28.840 Get you one, boy.
00:43:29.820 Get you a little panty, bucko.
00:43:32.740 Every piece is made to last a lifetime.
00:43:35.180 You're going to need it, guys.
00:43:36.080 The end of the world is right around the corner.
00:43:38.640 What are you going to wear?
00:43:40.480 Something that'll last a month?
00:43:43.060 F no.
00:43:45.280 This company is run by the Faerty family, and they are very hands-on in ensuring everything they do lives up to their values.
00:43:54.640 The Faerty style is, well, it's one of its own.
00:43:59.720 But it's one that you'll find comfortable and one that you'll find almost legendary.
00:44:05.740 In fact, the legend collection is legendary.
00:44:09.080 It's the softest, coziest shirt I've ever worn.
00:44:12.420 It's a good thing the quality stands up to everyday wear because I want to wear it every day.
00:44:18.200 That's right.
00:44:19.420 I want to wear my Faerty every day.
00:44:23.020 Buying forever is the smartest way to shop right now.
00:44:25.480 And now is the smartest time to do it.
00:44:28.120 Right now, you can get 25% off your next Faerty purchase when you go to FaertyBrand.com.
00:44:34.640 That's F-A-H-E-R-T-Y, FaertyBrand.com, slash Theo, for 25% off, FaertyBrand.com, slash Theo.
00:44:53.920 Rally Mal, hit us with a news item, brother.
00:44:56.220 Well, in a British wildlife park, they have removed five cursing parrots from public.
00:45:05.140 Okay, and when you say cursing parrots, what do you mean?
00:45:07.480 Like parrots that they're, what, casting spells on public?
00:45:11.660 I mean that they have foul language.
00:45:15.060 Oh.
00:45:15.460 Fowls have foul language.
00:45:17.100 Okay.
00:45:18.320 And any other information they're giving you?
00:45:21.640 It just says that the birds shared the ability to curse up a storm, something they engaged in quite often.
00:45:29.980 Okay.
00:45:31.900 So they're doing it, and where is it happening, you said?
00:45:34.840 In a British wildlife park.
00:45:37.220 Yep.
00:45:39.440 Yep.
00:45:39.880 You know, when I was young, Riley, you'd see a, when I was young, you'd see a mobile zoo was popular.
00:45:52.080 You know, and that was a man had a nice van or an extended van, even sometimes a church van.
00:45:57.800 And this man, you know, a man would have a mobile zoo.
00:46:01.060 And so, you know, somebody'd come through town with a chimp and a, a small dolphin in an aquarium or something in a big van, you know, and you, you know, pay a dollar, go see it.
00:46:14.180 Or somebody'd come through, roll through with two chimps and a beagle.
00:46:17.940 And that was maybe 75 cents.
00:46:19.980 You'd go see the, you know, see them.
00:46:22.800 And sometimes the beagle tried to mate with everybody.
00:46:25.460 Beetle, beagle, you know, a deranged beagle will fuck anything.
00:46:31.620 And that's probably, that's practically scripture, man.
00:46:37.180 But we had a fella come through town one time and he had a couple of starlings, I believe.
00:46:42.440 They were birds.
00:46:45.020 And, and they'd curse.
00:46:48.400 You'd go give them a dollar, half dollar.
00:46:50.820 And they'd call you the N word, call you the S word.
00:46:54.740 You know, call you a Jew.
00:46:55.920 For a dollar, they'd call you a Jew.
00:46:59.100 And it was just a different time.
00:47:02.040 Uh.
00:47:05.740 It was just a different time.
00:47:08.540 You know, when a man, when a traveling zoo was more, you know, they didn't have as much legal issues.
00:47:14.880 Nowadays, somebody, you know, you know, a friend of mine got bit outside of a BJ's pizza by a damn, uh, by a Australian shepherd.
00:47:27.500 And that's a lawsuit.
00:47:30.140 Whereas when I was young, you'd pay maybe 50 cents for that.
00:47:32.820 So we're living in different times, man.
00:47:37.200 Um, and I'd be lying if I didn't tell you I spent a couple dollars over there.
00:47:41.720 Because this fellow's little zoo broke down by us.
00:47:45.580 And you'd get over there and a starling would call you this or call you that.
00:47:49.440 You know, sometime for, you know, $1.50, you could get, you know, two N words and a Jew out of the guy or something.
00:47:55.700 You know, out of the thing.
00:47:57.160 Or, you know, just, you know, you could strike up a deal.
00:48:01.020 And what kind of, uh, birds were they, Riley, does it say?
00:48:05.120 Um, they are the African, African, uh, gray parrots.
00:48:11.160 Okay.
00:48:12.560 So that's almost, I mean, let's be honest, bro.
00:48:15.480 If it's African gray, that's almost a black, that's a, you know, that's an African-American bird.
00:48:23.100 You know, I mean, I know there's different ways to say it, but still, it's like, so if they're dropping the M bombs, is that, you know?
00:48:30.280 I don't know if that really, if that's article worthy.
00:48:35.940 You know, I get if you got a white parrot litter or something out there and, you know, you got a toucan and he's out there just humming M bombs at people while they're trying to buy a mouse or whatever.
00:48:47.720 Then that, to me, is risque, but, you know, this sounds just like nature kind of figuring itself out.
00:48:55.480 Um, you know, in the 1600s, 1700s, they used to use cows to find, uh, like, I don't want to say landmines or, but explosives and stuff.
00:49:08.480 Not 1700s, but like 1800s, 1900s.
00:49:11.040 And they'd send them out there wandering out there, you know, until they, until they detonated it.
00:49:18.580 So, you know anything about that?
00:49:23.940 That might have even been a Far Asian trick, uh, Raleigh.
00:49:26.740 Have you had any, have you heard anything about that at home?
00:49:28.920 Any, uh, on the home front, any long to family tales or anything like that?
00:49:32.940 I haven't, no.
00:49:33.880 Any of your family in any of the wars?
00:49:36.560 Iwo Jima, famous war?
00:49:38.120 Not that I know of.
00:49:39.320 Hmm.
00:49:39.640 Um, you seem like you might have a little warrior in you.
00:49:45.960 Anybody ever told you that?
00:49:48.060 Um, no, you would be the first.
00:49:51.060 That's cool, bro.
00:49:52.820 Thank you.
00:49:54.460 All right, let's check out this next call here that came in.
00:49:59.920 Hey, what's going on, Theo?
00:50:01.260 This is Josh, uh, from Missouri.
00:50:05.440 And, uh, man, I, I don't know what I should do.
00:50:08.440 I just need some advice.
00:50:10.080 So my girl.
00:50:10.560 Thank you for calling Josh from Missouri or Missouri.
00:50:15.660 Tell my stepdad used to call it Missouri.
00:50:18.960 Oh, Missouri.
00:50:20.860 And he died, actually.
00:50:24.360 Let's hear more.
00:50:25.600 Girlfriend started an OnlyFans.
00:50:27.860 And, uh, she's making pretty good money.
00:50:30.520 But lately she said she wants to, uh, she wants me to be in the videos with her.
00:50:35.800 I just don't know how I feel about that.
00:50:37.700 I mean, she says she can make more money if I'm in them.
00:50:40.860 But I just, I don't really want my, my penis and stuff being on camera.
00:50:46.300 So I was just wondering what you would do and give me some advice and see if I'll gang, gang.
00:50:53.500 Gang, bro.
00:50:55.600 And look, it's a great question.
00:50:58.780 You know, I remember when I was a little younger, a fella told me, hey, your penis ain't made for video.
00:51:03.140 And I gotta say that I agree with that.
00:51:11.960 I think there's some OnlyFans stuff that you could do that's a little bit, you know, risque, but not as wicked.
00:51:22.220 You know.
00:51:23.340 Because I don't know, now you gotta worry about the lighting.
00:51:26.020 You gotta worry about, what if people comment?
00:51:27.820 Oh, look at that.
00:51:30.000 Look at that guy got that little dick, bruh.
00:51:33.040 Dude, two of those?
00:51:34.280 Two, two people saying, ah, look at Sammy's got that little dick.
00:51:42.140 You're never gonna be the same after reading those comments, man.
00:51:46.680 So, I don't know.
00:51:50.540 Raleigh Mal, what do you think about that kind of stuff?
00:51:52.900 You subscribe to any of that depravity?
00:51:55.420 I do not.
00:51:56.080 And how do you keep off of it?
00:51:59.520 I just keep off of it.
00:52:02.620 And do you have any trouble looking at pornography or anything like that?
00:52:06.400 I don't.
00:52:07.000 Wow, really?
00:52:08.020 Mm-hmm.
00:52:08.920 God.
00:52:10.260 And have you always been that way?
00:52:11.740 Mm-hmm.
00:52:12.180 Oh.
00:52:14.940 Man.
00:52:16.720 And how do you do it, you think?
00:52:19.540 I mean, I just don't.
00:52:22.380 There's not really a how.
00:52:23.600 I just don't.
00:52:26.080 Remarkable, buddy.
00:52:33.320 Okay.
00:52:34.980 Speaking of Raleigh Mal, let's get a call.
00:52:37.060 Came in right about him.
00:52:38.740 And here we go.
00:52:40.900 Hi, man.
00:52:41.340 This is Reuben Call from Greenville, South Carolina.
00:52:44.420 What's up, Reuben?
00:52:46.960 And you gotta respect a man named after a sandwich.
00:52:51.020 You gotta respect him.
00:52:52.420 Whether you know a guy named Grilled Cheese Whitaker or Reuben Harper, you know, or you
00:53:01.280 go, you know a guy named PB&J Washington.
00:53:04.620 You gotta respect somebody named after a damn edible lunch entree onward.
00:53:10.740 I gotta be honest with you, man.
00:53:12.960 Raleigh Mal just ain't doing it for me.
00:53:14.840 All my boys listen, my coworkers, my buddies.
00:53:18.080 We all listen to your show.
00:53:18.960 I love the boy.
00:53:19.520 He's a good boy.
00:53:20.140 I was a Boy Scout.
00:53:21.060 He was a Boy Scout.
00:53:22.520 He made it farther than I did.
00:53:23.580 I got mad respect for him.
00:53:24.660 I'm a Christian.
00:53:25.340 He's a Christian.
00:53:26.540 You know, we're brothers in that sense.
00:53:28.420 But I don't.
00:53:29.560 I mean, I'm trying to be as nice as possible.
00:53:31.180 He's the nicest guy in the world.
00:53:32.380 He sounds like just the sweetheart.
00:53:34.040 But I don't know for the purposes of your show if he's lending anything that, let's
00:53:39.380 see, he ain't bringing a lot to the table.
00:53:43.680 And I appreciate it, Reuben.
00:53:44.900 I appreciate the feedback.
00:53:45.940 You know, this is a feedback circle here.
00:53:48.000 And people is allowed to feedback.
00:53:49.720 And I don't even, I don't even damn you for it, brother.
00:53:54.200 I want to hear what you have to say.
00:53:57.020 And he just says that, you know, he feels like you don't really, that you don't bring
00:54:01.040 a lot to the table, Raleigh.
00:54:02.620 Have people ever told you that in your life before or not?
00:54:04.800 Oh, all the time.
00:54:12.680 All right, let's see.
00:54:14.340 Let's get another call.
00:54:14.980 We had another call that came in about you.
00:54:16.620 And let's see what we can do here about it.
00:54:20.880 Hi, my name is Henry.
00:54:22.920 I'm in middle school.
00:54:24.780 And, well, I'm pretty good with the bow staff.
00:54:27.180 I train almost every day.
00:54:29.720 And I hear that Riley's Asian, so that's pretty much a given that, well, he's in martial
00:54:34.920 arts.
00:54:35.260 So, I challenge him to a duel.
00:54:39.840 Uh, gang.
00:54:46.960 There you go.
00:54:47.760 And I don't even know if we can legally even listen to a middle, uh, I don't know how old
00:54:52.440 that child is.
00:54:53.080 And it could be also, he could be 18 or 19 in middle school.
00:54:56.920 We had a guy named Larry or Mr. Larry.
00:54:59.780 They called him eventually when I was in middle school.
00:55:02.580 And he was, he was at least 19.
00:55:06.580 And he could come, I remember in the bathroom, we'd be in there urinating, you know, just
00:55:13.200 doing water out the front.
00:55:14.640 And, uh, he'd come in and pee right over you into the urinal, just showing off, you know,
00:55:20.880 because he was, I mean, hell, he was fully developed and his, you know, and he just had
00:55:26.800 a damn cannon on him.
00:55:29.300 He had that frickin', god dang, he had that, you know, that 19 year old spout on him.
00:55:34.600 We're all out here just using a, everybody's penis, look like a little igloo, something
00:55:39.060 you see on igloo water cooler.
00:55:41.840 And he shows up with this big dang Lincoln log, you know.
00:55:45.080 But, anyway, uh, Riley, you got a child right there challenging you.
00:55:49.520 Could you beat a child in a contest?
00:55:54.600 I'm, yeah, I'm pretty sure I can.
00:55:56.440 You think you can beat that kid's ass, honestly, Henry?
00:55:59.380 Um, I mean, I don't know, he, he might be faking the, faking the voice.
00:56:04.200 He might be like a really tough guy.
00:56:05.860 I don't know.
00:56:07.100 And how would you approach it, you think?
00:56:10.160 Well, I mean, I would tell him, you know, come over to, come over to the Middle East and
00:56:15.980 we'll, uh, we'll hash it out.
00:56:17.380 Okay.
00:56:17.700 So, there you go.
00:56:19.960 You got a real challenge right there.
00:56:21.300 He's saying, bring it over to the Central East, you mean.
00:56:26.780 Bring it over to the Central East and we'll hash it out.
00:56:30.020 You know?
00:56:30.800 And that's how you're right there.
00:56:31.940 People want to, uh, doubt on Riley Mao.
00:56:35.760 He'll just, he just offered to beat the shit out of a damn middle schooler.
00:56:44.200 So, I mean, if that ain't.
00:56:48.520 If that ain't beautiful, baby, I don't know what is.
00:56:51.340 You know, especially during these tough times, man.
00:56:54.380 Especially during these tough times.
00:56:56.620 I'll tell you what else is good, man.
00:57:02.560 Mint Mobile.
00:57:05.440 Breaking up with your old wireless provider just got a whole lot easier thanks to Mint Mobile.
00:57:10.540 You know, they were the first company to sell premium wireless service online only.
00:57:16.960 And now, Mint Mobile is introducing their unlimited data plan for just $30 a month.
00:57:23.380 Let that sink in a little.
00:57:26.380 An unlimited plan for $30 a month.
00:57:30.320 How much is your soon-to-be-ex wireless company charging you?
00:57:34.460 I mean, I'm paying $180 a month for my line.
00:57:40.240 You know, I'm also supporting some of my family members, semi-dead beats.
00:57:43.340 But hey, that's, that's what we do.
00:57:46.100 For people that hate their phone bill and are ready to cut ties with big wireless, Mint Mobile offers their premium unlimited plan for just $30 a month.
00:57:57.340 By going online only and eliminating the traditional cost of retail, Mint Mobile passes significant savings on to you.
00:58:05.380 All plans come with unlimited talk and text and high-speed data delivered on the nation's largest 5G network.
00:58:13.840 To get your unlimited wireless plan for just $30 a month and get the plan shipped to your door for free,
00:58:21.060 go to mintmobile.com slash T-H-E-O.
00:58:25.420 That's M-I-N-T-M-O-B-I-L-E dot com slash T-H-E-O.
00:58:30.780 Cut your unlimited wireless bill to $30 a month at mintmobile.com slash T-H-E-O.
00:58:38.520 All right, let's take another call right here.
00:58:42.420 Hey, T-H-E-O, this is Rob Cohn from Atlanta.
00:58:45.400 What's up, Rob?
00:58:46.260 Thank you for the call, my friend.
00:58:47.840 And I appreciate you from Atlanta.
00:58:50.700 Not sure what you're up to this Tuesday, but Buffalo Bills will be in Nashville.
00:58:55.420 And if you're free, I got an extra ticket for you, man.
00:58:58.280 There's nothing we welcome more to the Bills Mafia than a nice, strong mullet.
00:59:02.500 Not going to be a full crowd, but if you want to come through and watch Josh Allen tear up the Titans, man, let me know.
00:59:07.560 I'd love to see my buddy Harrison Phillips over there play over there for Buffalo.
00:59:15.420 And he plays Buffalo Bills football.
00:59:19.460 And I'd love to see him do it.
00:59:21.740 So maybe we'll get out there.
00:59:22.540 And they're undefeated over there, both of the teams.
00:59:24.860 Both of the teams undefeated.
00:59:26.460 Zero losses, two teams.
00:59:28.420 And that's good football.
00:59:29.520 So thank you for that.
00:59:36.080 What else?
00:59:36.740 Anything else you want to share with us, Riley?
00:59:42.260 I did see that a man told snakeskin isn't a legitimate face covering.
00:59:54.280 There you go.
00:59:55.420 There you go.
01:00:00.540 All right.
01:00:01.160 I want to say this, man.
01:00:04.060 We had a lot of calls last week.
01:00:09.080 You know, I was going through a tough time.
01:00:10.560 And sometimes I just am.
01:00:13.260 Sometimes I just am going through a tough time.
01:00:15.380 And I just want to say thanks for the nice calls and the support.
01:00:20.680 You know, I appreciate it.
01:00:25.240 You know, I just have this thing inside of me where I just, I forget.
01:00:29.140 I just, I just, there's just part of me that forgets that people care about me.
01:00:34.800 It just forgets it.
01:00:35.900 It's like a, it's almost like a, it's like a software issue where, you know, it just kind of, that part of the, the residual effect of people caring about me just dissipates pretty quickly.
01:00:55.820 Um, and, and so it was just a, you know, I appreciate a lot of nice reminders that came in and, um, and people just sharing some of their thoughts.
01:01:07.220 And so I want to, uh, just honor a couple of those, man.
01:01:11.340 Let's get into it.
01:01:12.220 What's up, Will?
01:01:22.500 Thank you for the call, Will.
01:01:25.500 And, you know, I grew up with a fella they called Will the Thrill.
01:01:31.240 And he invited us over to his house one time, uh, for a party.
01:01:34.460 And some fella had just learned to masturbate in our group.
01:01:38.740 And we didn't know about it or he hadn't just learned, he'd known maybe he was probably, this dude might've been 26.
01:01:47.500 Then he was in a middle school or junior high or pre-junior high.
01:01:56.280 And so we're all in a hot tub.
01:01:59.120 We're relaxing, you know, his birthday party.
01:02:02.740 And you ever been to a birthday party for a hot tub, Riley?
01:02:05.420 Well, you got to get out more, man.
01:02:10.620 It was, uh, yeah, about maybe eight boys sitting in a hot tub.
01:02:15.840 And, and this is in Louisiana.
01:02:18.160 And if you have a hot tub in Louisiana, first of all, you are obviously clinically not doing well because that's basically like making soup.
01:02:25.880 It's basically, there's never, there's been four cold days in the history of Louisiana.
01:02:31.280 So to have a hot tub is just, it's delinquent.
01:02:36.360 It's already, you're basically making soup out of whoever you invite to sit in it.
01:02:40.700 So we got a, basically an eight child booyah base going on out there.
01:02:44.820 We got an eight child gumbo brewing out there.
01:02:47.240 And some fella named CJ Vickery had learned to, uh, you know, jerk himself off.
01:02:55.960 And nothing, the rest of us didn't know about it.
01:03:02.180 We'd never heard of it.
01:03:03.220 We'd never seen it.
01:03:04.020 We'd never even seen a drawing of somebody ejaculating.
01:03:10.080 And, uh, so he's touching his body under the water, you know, being secretive, doing secretive touch.
01:03:16.980 And suddenly when he's about to ejaculate, he pulls his body up out of the water and he starts just kind of, you know, just ejacking into the little pool, into the little hot tub.
01:03:32.780 And Will, this kid, Will the Thrill, they called him, grabbed his penis to stop it because he thought something bad was happening to him.
01:03:39.220 He was having a bad reaction or something because he'd never seen it.
01:03:41.700 So he grabbed it to stop it and like squeeze it.
01:03:46.060 And, uh, and the kid punched him, kid punched him right in the neck.
01:03:51.900 And that hurts, bro.
01:03:53.300 Seeing somebody get punched in the neck, man, when they, when they're trying to hold on to somebody else's penis for no reason.
01:04:04.100 I don't know.
01:04:04.820 The whole thing was just, it was a lot, man.
01:04:09.040 It was a lot of levels.
01:04:09.980 It was kind of like the Odyssey.
01:04:11.100 You ever read the Odyssey, Riley?
01:04:14.060 I have.
01:04:15.540 And you, it was pretty wild, huh?
01:04:17.400 Oh, yeah.
01:04:18.080 Yeah.
01:04:18.920 Very similar to that.
01:04:20.720 And, uh, anyway, man.
01:04:24.320 So I knew a fella named Will, man.
01:04:26.440 Uh, let's hear more.
01:04:28.200 Thanks for the call.
01:04:29.880 Um, I'm just listening to your, um, podcast.
01:04:35.380 You just put out the, um, one about where you, you know, you want to drink.
01:04:40.880 And, you know, for me, man, I've been in recovery.
01:04:44.780 I've got a little over two and a half years right now.
01:04:47.620 And I absolutely know what you're going through.
01:04:53.200 Um, for me, it was just feeling miserable and not having the drugs and the alcohol to turn to and wondering, like, damn, what else?
01:05:04.240 You know, I'm going to the gym, I'm, uh, going to meetings, I'm going to church, I'm doing all these things.
01:05:10.200 I'm doing everything y'all tell me to do.
01:05:12.780 But I still feel, you know, down.
01:05:16.360 I still wake up.
01:05:17.600 I asked you, I said, do you wake up happy?
01:05:20.280 And they're like, yeah.
01:05:21.000 And I said, damn.
01:05:22.460 You know, I couldn't remember the last time that I woke up happy.
01:05:28.420 Man, I can really, I, I, I, I can relate, man.
01:05:33.020 Yeah, I don't know.
01:05:34.040 I think, you know, not, nobody gets everything.
01:05:39.480 Every, every, everybody gets some things.
01:05:41.420 You know, some people are, you know, might be good at math and some people, you know, uh, wake up happy.
01:05:54.560 You know, some people like, uh, pudding and, and some people can, you know, can, can draw.
01:06:01.940 You know, it's all, the way God makes it, I think everything evens out.
01:06:05.480 Nobody gets it all.
01:06:07.100 You know, somebody's beautiful, but they might be dumb.
01:06:09.200 You know, somebody might be dumb, but they could, uh, you know, but they could teach you how to sing if you need to sing real quick.
01:06:21.200 Everybody has different capabilities.
01:06:25.080 Um, and yeah, one of my strong suits is not waking up happy, man.
01:06:29.780 It's just waking up at a deficit.
01:06:33.000 And, yeah, I can do all the things, but sometimes that's just my.
01:06:39.200 Walk in the world.
01:06:41.260 And so, each day I have to have, uh, or each day I find that a program, if I follow a program, then it helps me.
01:06:51.840 Um, and the best program I've found for myself is through 12 Step in Recovery.
01:06:57.720 To battle that daily, oh, here we go again.
01:07:03.760 Oh, I'm not good enough.
01:07:05.100 Oh, I can't handle this.
01:07:06.520 Oh, I feel this way.
01:07:08.920 It gets me out of me and gets me onto someone else or onto God before I can get to myself, you know.
01:07:15.800 Um, but yeah, when I meet somebody that way, when I meet somebody who wakes up happy,
01:07:20.540 God, I'm so envious, it's like, God, God, how do you do it?
01:07:28.180 I mean, that's my David Blaine right there.
01:07:32.120 When I meet somebody who wakes up full of joy,
01:07:36.540 just wakes up, you get that free gift of joy.
01:07:40.940 Man, that's beautiful.
01:07:46.000 But it gives me something to work towards, man.
01:07:48.180 It gives me a daily battle.
01:07:50.400 And I, and I gotta be thankful also for that daily battle, even on the days when I lose it.
01:07:56.160 Um.
01:08:00.740 You know, cause if we woke up and just had everything, man, it would.
01:08:07.100 I don't, I probably, I don't know if I'd want that.
01:08:11.240 Let's take another call, man.
01:08:12.480 Here we go.
01:08:14.520 Yo, Theo, what's up, man?
01:08:16.420 This is, uh, Jay.
01:08:18.280 I'm from New York.
01:08:20.340 What's up, Jay?
01:08:21.380 Thank you for calling, man.
01:08:22.500 Onward.
01:08:23.800 All right, I'm just calling.
01:08:25.140 I was just listening to your last episode with the, uh, asthma, uh,
01:08:29.760 as Mr. Asthma Attack, uh, driver.
01:08:32.780 Yeah, that driver.
01:08:34.420 That fella had that asthma we had to pull over.
01:08:36.860 So we could, you know,
01:08:37.680 you know, so we could long up off the frickin' turnpike gang.
01:08:42.480 Driving the Uber, frickin' pulling over to breathe some of this funk,
01:08:47.420 breathe some of this funk air that we have
01:08:49.760 in the New York, New Jersey area.
01:08:52.740 Um, you seem a little down.
01:08:54.700 You seem a little depressed.
01:08:56.640 Um, I just wanted to kind of reach out and let you know.
01:08:59.400 Um, you did move to Nashville, Tennessee.
01:09:03.380 Um, so it's a whole nother area of the country.
01:09:06.660 Coming from L.A. where it's more sunny, more sunshine, yada, yada.
01:09:11.520 But, um, I just want to let you know,
01:09:13.100 a lot of people around the fall time start to get depressed, uh,
01:09:17.280 due to, um, you know, nature.
01:09:19.520 The leaves are, the leaves are falling off the trees.
01:09:22.680 And, uh, the trees are giving off that pheromone of, you know, dying.
01:09:26.860 And, and it's, it's natural, man.
01:09:29.320 It's natural.
01:09:30.100 And you have a lot on your plate.
01:09:31.860 You know, you've been clean.
01:09:32.840 You've been sober.
01:09:33.480 I'm a big fan of the show, gang gang.
01:09:35.900 And, um, I just want to let you know, man,
01:09:37.900 it's, it's, it's a normal, it's a normal thing
01:09:39.920 to be depressed at this time of the year.
01:09:42.420 Especially moving from another, you know,
01:09:44.740 from a city to another city.
01:09:46.120 So, um, you know, just hold in there, man.
01:09:49.020 Springtime will be back around.
01:09:50.540 All right, let's take another call here.
01:09:53.660 Yo, what up, Tio?
01:09:55.540 This is Luis.
01:09:57.300 Uh, just getting to your adult asthma episode.
01:10:00.760 And, you know, it's funny because, you know,
01:10:04.200 I used to stay on top, but I kind of fell behind the episodes.
01:10:08.280 And, you know, you were saying, you know,
01:10:10.920 God does for you what you can't do for yourself.
01:10:13.620 And, you know, I needed to hear that because, you know,
01:10:16.920 as you're doing your sobriety,
01:10:19.220 I'm also dealing with what I have to do.
01:10:22.620 And, you know, the clerk telling you that you can't go to the restaurant
01:10:26.380 was almost synonymous with my cell phone dying as I was texting my dealer.
01:10:33.620 You know, I've been sober now for one month and it's been the hardest month so far.
01:10:41.800 I can't sleep.
01:10:43.580 I can't eat.
01:10:44.340 But, you know, listening to your podcast only reassured me that, you know,
01:10:49.740 what I'm doing is the right thing.
01:10:53.180 And, you know, it's not easy.
01:10:55.680 It's not going to be easy.
01:10:56.840 And, you know, when you deal with these stressful moments
01:10:59.200 and these instances where you just want to binge, it's hard, man.
01:11:06.860 Wow, man.
01:11:07.560 Yeah, it's hard.
01:11:10.260 Yeah, it's hard.
01:11:10.980 I just got to remember that it's hard sometimes.
01:11:14.880 You know, and I just, you know, it just means a lot, man.
01:11:17.940 I appreciate it.
01:11:18.980 I really do.
01:11:20.300 And, yeah, your phone dying while you're texting your dealer.
01:11:24.740 That's wild.
01:11:25.880 What a blessing on us crazy.
01:11:29.200 And, yeah, for some people and some people say, well, hey, man,
01:11:31.880 just have a drink or go party one night and let the edge out.
01:11:34.640 And that's fine.
01:11:35.200 That's definitely an option.
01:11:37.400 But I just, when I don't want to do that option,
01:11:43.140 and some people don't have a problem.
01:11:44.660 If you don't have a problem, then more power to you, you know?
01:11:51.800 I'll tickle your cousin while you do a line off his ass, bro.
01:11:54.840 You know what I'm saying, dude?
01:11:55.840 I'm out there.
01:11:57.420 I'm out there, bro.
01:11:59.200 You know?
01:12:01.660 I'll freaking, you know.
01:12:06.200 You know, I'll give your stepmother a zerbert, bro.
01:12:10.040 While she's doing a line, bro, or something.
01:12:12.200 Whatever we got to do, you know?
01:12:13.720 I mean, but I just, if I go out like that,
01:12:17.800 then I don't know if I'm coming back sometimes.
01:12:20.880 Because I like to ride that dust.
01:12:23.080 You feel me?
01:12:24.000 You know what I'm saying?
01:12:27.340 I like to all aboard on that dust donkey, son.
01:12:34.180 That's where I'm at.
01:12:35.420 If you find me, bro, I'll be out there on that dust.
01:12:44.060 I'll freaking, I'll snort a ring off of Saturn, baby.
01:12:46.780 You feel me?
01:12:48.320 I'll snort a ring off of Saturn, son.
01:12:50.980 So, I just got to be careful with it.
01:12:55.800 But man, I'm glad you got a month, man.
01:12:57.700 It makes me feel good for you.
01:12:58.980 And just, not feel good for you.
01:13:00.320 It just makes me feel, I'm just happy that you feel good for you.
01:13:04.400 Yeah, man.
01:13:05.280 Because that's powerful.
01:13:06.340 It's just powerful.
01:13:07.020 So, but yeah, man.
01:13:12.360 Thank you guys for all the kind messages and stuff.
01:13:14.520 And what have I done this week to take care of myself a little bit better?
01:13:18.900 Well, for one, I was coming down probably off of testosterone.
01:13:22.020 I had been taking testosterone.
01:13:25.920 That TRT replacement and stuff like that.
01:13:29.680 So, there probably could have been some side effects of that.
01:13:32.320 You know, but this week I've been just trying to stay more, busier with my running.
01:13:42.640 Working with a new therapist.
01:13:47.500 Making a gratitude list every day and really sticking to it.
01:13:51.840 And even recording my gratitude list on audio and then send it to some of my buddies who also make them.
01:13:58.060 And having them send it back, you know.
01:14:00.400 No homo, bro.
01:14:01.240 Or yes homo, whatever.
01:14:02.980 But that's the kind of stuff that this past week has been saving me.
01:14:09.400 And just keeping me in a, keeping my spirit more comfortable.
01:14:13.900 So, yeah.
01:14:15.580 I was born with an uncomfortable spirit.
01:14:19.940 You know, I was born with an uncomfortable spirit.
01:14:24.860 So, but yeah.
01:14:27.600 I appreciate it.
01:14:28.240 Just so much.
01:14:28.920 A lot of kind words, man.
01:14:30.660 A lot of kind words.
01:14:31.640 And it just meant a lot.
01:14:34.120 So, thank you.
01:14:35.620 All right.
01:14:36.260 Well, we will.
01:14:40.140 We're looking also for unique characters to come in.
01:14:43.020 So, follow TPW Instagram.
01:14:44.520 And we'll let you know some possible, you know, unique type, character type people that we would like to have on the show and unique humans.
01:14:54.880 And, and we'll do what we can and, you know, we made it through it.
01:15:03.680 You know, that's one thing today.
01:15:04.960 We rolled with the punches.
01:15:06.040 You know, we were expecting to have a female trucker in and it didn't happen.
01:15:12.860 And we wish her well and hope that she's safe wherever she is.
01:15:16.760 And we just do what we can.
01:15:20.240 And any parting words you have, Riley?
01:15:25.120 No, not at all.
01:15:34.440 And there you have it, ladies and gentlemen.
01:15:36.360 We'll leave out the way we came in.
01:15:38.840 This is Paul Cawthon.
01:15:41.780 With some good music.
01:15:43.100 Holy Ghost Fire.
01:15:46.220 I got the Holy Ghost Fire
01:15:58.760 And it's burning in me
01:16:00.080 I got the Holy Ghost Fire
01:16:07.340 Burning in me
01:16:08.660 I got the Holy Ghost Fire
01:16:14.840 And I'm burning down the street
01:16:17.240 I got a sweet little batty
01:16:22.680 And she's rolling in the caddy with me
01:16:24.540 I got a sweet little batty
01:16:31.260 And she's rolling in the caddy with me
01:16:33.240 I got a whole lot of product
01:16:38.580 For my Holy Ghost Mama
01:16:39.780 She's making sweet eyes with me
01:16:41.560 Don't let me die
01:16:44.120 My sweet mama
01:16:48.900 My sweet mama
01:16:50.100 Don't let me down
01:16:51.700 Yeah, I'm an honest man
01:16:56.880 I'm dying to get you in the palm of my field
01:17:01.380 Working on contemplative
01:17:05.960 How about those drums, Riley?
01:17:12.460 Got them?
01:17:12.720 I know you'd stay
01:17:13.560 But if I filled you in, would you take it to the grave?
01:17:25.860 Because the secret ain't no secret
01:17:28.480 If you give it all away
01:17:30.880 Don't let me down, sweet mama
01:17:35.820 Don't let me down
01:17:40.540 I'm a nervous man
01:17:46.000 Dying to get you in the palm of my hand
01:17:50.300 Don't let me down, sweet mama
01:17:55.500 Oh, don't let me down
01:18:10.540 Ladies and gentlemen, I'm Jonathan Kite
01:18:17.140 And welcome to Kite Club
01:18:18.460 A podcast where I'll be sharing thoughts on things like current events
01:18:22.120 Stand-up stories
01:18:23.340 And seven ways to pleasure your partner
01:18:25.660 The answer may shock you
01:18:27.580 Sometimes I'll interview my friends
01:18:29.580 Sometimes I won't
01:18:30.880 And as always, I'll be joined by the voices in my head
01:18:34.380 You have three new voice messages
01:18:37.260 A lot of people are talking about Kite Club
01:18:39.840 I've been talking about Kite Club for so long
01:18:43.080 Longer than anybody else
01:18:44.720 So great
01:18:45.500 I think Tom Hanks just butt-dialed me
01:19:04.960 Anyway
01:19:05.360 First rule of Kite Club is
01:19:07.280 Tell everyone about Kite Club
01:19:09.000 Second rule of Kite Club is
01:19:10.940 Tell everyone about Kite Club
01:19:13.180 Third rule
01:19:13.960 Like and subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts
01:19:16.600 Or watch us on YouTube, yeah?
01:19:19.200 And yes, don't worry
01:19:20.240 My Brad Pitt impression will get better
01:19:22.280 And yes, don't worry