This Past Weekend with Theo Von - E312 Third Place Babies

00:00:00.000 All right, baby, you know that, um, tech, tech is the new fossil fuel.

00:00:10.860 Think about that.

00:00:16.760 Bandwidth is the new oil.

00:00:21.200 So, just a light thought, just a light thought to get you, um,

00:00:30.000 just acclimated, I guess, to whatever, or to nothing, to nothing, man.

00:00:38.580 Hope you're having a good day.

00:00:39.960 Hope I'm having a good day.

00:00:41.100 I mean, that's really, that's the realest.

00:00:46.400 I, um, I'm out here in the Central East.

00:00:49.500 I did a, I did a skiing this past weekend in Tahoe.

00:01:00.000 And they just shut it down again there because of the disease.

00:01:05.940 I mean, I think you have more, you have, excuse me, you have a better chance of dang,

00:01:11.600 getting bit by a damn Sasquatch than you do dying from this disease.

00:01:17.280 But, I don't make the rules.

00:01:20.260 You know, I'm just, uh, I'm just one human.

00:01:25.040 And there's billions, so, um, but yeah, we had a nice time out there, went out there,

00:01:32.020 did a performance, actually, for a company.

00:01:36.340 This was called a corporate show.

00:01:38.520 And those can be interesting.

00:01:41.640 You show up and you don't know how it's going to be.

00:01:44.640 Usually, you perform, somebody complains to the boss, and, and somebody loses their job.

00:01:54.860 That's usually what happens when they hire a comedian at a corporate show.

00:01:59.340 I mean, I did one for Charmin a couple years ago, and there was almost a damn, uh, fist fight at it.

00:02:03.980 And, and, how the hell are people's fist fighting when they're supposed to be making toilet tissue?

00:02:14.100 You know, that's beyond me, but that's, that's on God, baby.

00:02:18.240 But, um, what was I talking about?

00:02:21.160 Oh, so we did it for this time, the company called Battle Born Batteries.

00:02:27.520 Battle Born Batteries, and they, I thought at first, you know,

00:02:32.000 Ari Maness accompanied me there, and he said,

00:02:35.100 Hey, we're doing the show, it's for Battle Born.

00:02:38.120 And I thought he meant, uh, breach births.

00:02:42.840 You know, C-sections, baby.

00:02:46.040 And C-sections, let's be honest, man.

00:02:49.460 There's A-section, uh, there's B-section,

00:02:52.200 and then once you get to C-section, bro, it's really,

00:02:55.800 damn, they'll pull anything out of your stomach at that point.

00:02:58.200 I mean, this, a C-section baby's already,

00:03:03.320 you know, that's like the remedial reading of children, man.

00:03:06.700 If you're already getting a C, and you haven't even,

00:03:09.080 you're barely even alive.

00:03:11.820 So a lot of times, I feel like we should probably do

00:03:14.440 contact tracing on C-section babies.

00:03:16.780 You know, they should tag them like they do, uh,

00:03:21.620 you know, sometime you'll, you'll see a,

00:03:24.640 a rare egret,

00:03:27.560 or a damn, uh,

00:03:28.920 cormorant.

00:03:31.920 And it'll show up on your property,

00:03:33.560 and, uh, have a tagging on.

00:03:36.700 And from far off, it looks like a bracelet.

00:03:38.640 It looks like he went to a nightclub the night before.

00:03:41.780 You know, it looks like he might have

00:03:42.960 spent all night out at the stinking nest with his buddies.

00:03:46.780 Or, uh, you know,

00:03:49.720 over at the slippery branch,

00:03:51.260 or whatever, you know.

00:03:53.780 But it turns out it's a tagging.

00:03:56.920 Government comes,

00:03:57.780 and they'll put a damn wristband on a, uh,

00:03:59.940 on a falcon.

00:04:03.800 You know, they'll put a damn stopwatch on a, uh,

00:04:07.060 on a Jayhawk.

00:04:10.580 So they know what they're doing.

00:04:11.820 I mean, that's how,

00:04:12.420 when you think about how crazy the government is,

00:04:14.000 that's crazy, man.

00:04:17.260 That's pretty crazy, but,

00:04:20.140 what was I talking,

00:04:20.600 yeah, so Battle Born Batteries,

00:04:22.240 that's the company.

00:04:23.200 And it's just a company.

00:04:24.780 And they do batteries,

00:04:25.780 and they do, uh,

00:04:27.600 I guess,

00:04:28.460 special,

00:04:29.340 hardcore batteries

00:04:30.720 that'll survive anything.

00:04:32.940 A snowstorm,

00:04:34.360 flooding,

00:04:35.300 funeral,

00:04:35.720 you know, uh,

00:04:38.120 second coming.

00:04:39.800 I mean,

00:04:40.220 Jesus could pass through town,

00:04:41.580 and that damn battery will still be working,

00:04:43.000 but, uh,

00:04:43.940 so anyway,

00:04:44.360 we had a good time with that company,

00:04:45.640 and it went well.

00:04:46.560 Sometimes,

00:04:47.440 you know,

00:04:48.900 when you invite a comedian to an HR issue,

00:04:51.060 it can be a real,

00:04:51.980 you know,

00:04:52.220 to a company,

00:04:53.580 it can be a real issue.

00:04:55.200 So,

00:04:56.020 but we had a nice time,

00:04:57.280 man,

00:04:57.380 beautiful people over there.

00:04:58.960 This fella,

00:04:59.500 Sean,

00:05:00.000 and, uh,

00:05:01.460 and just a great group of guys,

00:05:03.160 man,

00:05:03.280 and,

00:05:04.980 and women too.

00:05:06.780 Guys and women,

00:05:07.920 baby.

00:05:08.860 Both genders,

00:05:09.720 son.

00:05:10.740 So,

00:05:11.820 what else,

00:05:13.940 man?

00:05:14.560 Oh,

00:05:15.100 God.

00:05:18.000 Oh,

00:05:19.080 somebody brushed my teeth.

00:05:21.640 I can't even handle that sometimes.

00:05:24.440 Oh,

00:05:24.980 I'll tell you this,

00:05:25.440 we saw a lady,

00:05:27.340 we were at the casino in the gift shop

00:05:29.920 at night,

00:05:31.220 and a lady in there,

00:05:33.720 this is an adult.

00:05:35.780 This is an adult lady,

00:05:37.000 so this ain't no novice,

00:05:38.320 you know?

00:05:39.340 This isn't a first time into a snack play.

00:05:43.240 I mean,

00:05:43.600 this lady,

00:05:44.200 she sounded like an alien though.

00:05:46.640 She was talking on,

00:05:48.220 it was like kind of like a diverse lady

00:05:49.840 talking on the phone,

00:05:52.780 on face,

00:05:53.580 not FaceTime,

00:05:54.360 FaceTime audio or whatever.

00:05:56.900 You know,

00:05:57.800 uh,

00:05:58.360 and the person on the other end

00:06:02.260 is like,

00:06:02.600 what do they have?

00:06:03.700 And she's in this gift shop

00:06:04.740 and she named everything that they have.

00:06:11.000 She's like,

00:06:11.620 they got,

00:06:12.220 uh,

00:06:12.520 they got Rolos,

00:06:14.420 they got,

00:06:15.200 um,

00:06:15.760 Lays,

00:06:16.860 uh,

00:06:17.520 Ruffles,

00:06:18.820 um,

00:06:19.720 they got,

00:06:21.280 uh,

00:06:21.820 Pringles,

00:06:22.940 uh,

00:06:23.280 they got green Pringles,

00:06:25.320 orange Pringles,

00:06:26.880 uh,

00:06:27.440 purple Pringles,

00:06:29.140 um,

00:06:30.240 they got these like kind of little,

00:06:32.280 like,

00:06:32.840 like kind of brown mazes with salt on them,

00:06:35.680 like these little like,

00:06:37.740 figure eights,

00:06:38.860 oh,

00:06:39.140 pretzels,

00:06:40.500 um,

00:06:42.180 they got neckties,

00:06:43.560 they got clip-on,

00:06:44.600 they got dove ice cream,

00:06:46.640 they got drumstick,

00:06:48.560 uh,

00:06:48.940 they got Butterfinger,

00:06:50.040 they got certs,

00:06:51.420 they got raspberry certs,

00:06:53.440 they got,

00:06:54.040 uh,

00:06:55.160 they got five-hour energy,

00:06:56.880 they got six-hour energy,

00:06:58.740 they got,

00:06:59.380 uh,

00:06:59.460 this,

00:06:59.900 and the person like,

00:07:00.580 what do they have?

00:07:01.680 And then she,

00:07:02.460 bro,

00:07:02.860 she would start on a whole new thing.

00:07:04.460 They got t-shirts,

00:07:05.680 they got,

00:07:06.260 um,

00:07:07.080 they got welcome to Reno t-shirts,

00:07:09.580 they got,

00:07:11.120 uh,

00:07:11.620 they got a neck brace,

00:07:13.100 they got wheat,

00:07:13.960 uh,

00:07:14.280 they got,

00:07:14.840 um,

00:07:15.340 playing cards,

00:07:16.940 they got Hershey Kiss,

00:07:19.320 um,

00:07:20.140 what do they have?

00:07:21.400 They have,

00:07:22.240 um,

00:07:23.080 they got,

00:07:24.060 uh,

00:07:24.540 what else?

00:07:25.140 They got cinnamon whiskey,

00:07:26.660 they got gin,

00:07:28.300 uh,

00:07:28.600 they got sunglasses,

00:07:30.660 they got,

00:07:31.400 um,

00:07:32.860 they got whatchamacallits,

00:07:34.820 uh,

00:07:35.660 they got,

00:07:36.460 uh,

00:07:37.020 Kahlua,

00:07:37.960 uh,

00:07:38.540 what,

00:07:38.680 uh,

00:07:39.580 and then she,

00:07:41.200 every now and then she was like,

00:07:42.420 let me go ask them if they have that.

00:07:45.280 Let me go ask them if they have that.

00:07:47.680 And she would go over to the counter.

00:07:52.440 Oh,

00:07:52.980 bro,

00:07:53.680 it just didn't make any sense,

00:07:55.640 man.

00:07:56.060 I mean,

00:07:56.460 it literally made no sense.

00:07:58.040 They got gummy bear,

00:07:59.180 they got smoked salmons,

00:08:01.260 they got,

00:08:02.220 um,

00:08:03.100 coffee.

00:08:06.220 Oh,

00:08:06.660 but man,

00:08:09.500 that's humanity.

00:08:11.640 And where would we be with that?

00:08:14.880 I mean,

00:08:14.980 we were dying laughing.

00:08:16.540 I,

00:08:16.780 it just,

00:08:17.400 it was so hard to be in the store and watch this lady just do this.

00:08:21.620 Just literally on fat.

00:08:22.940 Oh,

00:08:23.240 they got,

00:08:24.120 um,

00:08:24.660 they got milk.

00:08:25.920 They got chocolate milk.

00:08:27.200 They got diet milk.

00:08:29.660 Um,

00:08:30.880 they got,

00:08:31.820 uh,

00:08:32.440 twizzlers.

00:08:33.940 They got,

00:08:34.860 uh,

00:08:35.140 red vines.

00:08:36.700 Dear God.

00:08:39.180 Speaking of God,

00:08:40.380 thank you guys,

00:08:41.800 uh,

00:08:42.020 for being here and being a part of my life today and helping me get through this.

00:08:45.780 Uh,

00:08:46.260 just life helped me get through life.

00:08:48.440 You know,

00:08:49.140 life,

00:08:49.660 uh,

00:08:50.120 it was a surprise to all of us.

00:08:54.720 It really was.

00:08:55.880 Uh,

00:08:56.480 today's musical intro is by Larry fleet,

00:09:01.900 where I find God.

00:09:03.920 It's a,

00:09:04.520 it's a country song,

00:09:06.120 I think,

00:09:06.700 but it's a,

00:09:08.140 there's something really human about it,

00:09:10.060 man.

00:09:10.860 And,

00:09:11.480 uh,

00:09:12.160 it'll hit you right in the stair steps gang brother.

00:09:20.120 Come on there.

00:09:28.760 They got roll lows.

00:09:30.440 The night I hit rock bottom.

00:09:35.180 Sitting on an old bar store.

00:09:38.640 He paid my tab and put me in a cab.

00:09:42.820 But he didn't have to.

00:09:45.280 So he could see I was hurting.

00:09:48.620 Come on,

00:09:49.060 baby.

00:09:50.120 Oh,

00:09:50.840 I wish I'd got his name.

00:09:54.940 Cause I didn't feel worth saving.

00:10:00.760 But he saved me just the same.

00:10:09.680 Day out on the water.

00:10:13.260 When the fish just wouldn't bite.

00:10:15.320 Come on,

00:10:15.660 hold with me,

00:10:16.180 baby.

00:10:16.900 I put my pole down,

00:10:18.700 I float it around.

00:10:19.540 Come on,

00:10:19.900 Larry.

00:10:21.140 It was just so quiet.

00:10:23.520 And I could hear my old man.

00:10:28.660 Saying,

00:10:29.300 son,

00:10:30.000 just be still.

00:10:31.420 Come on,

00:10:31.880 baby.

00:10:33.180 Let's go.

00:10:33.780 can't find peace like this.

00:10:36.560 Can't find peace like this.

00:10:40.460 Can't find peace like this.

00:10:42.340 Can't find peace like this.

00:10:43.540 Can't find peace like this.

00:10:44.460 Can't find peace like this.

00:10:45.600 Can't find peace like this.

00:10:48.320 Can't find peace like this.

00:10:49.680 Can't find peace like this.

00:10:50.180 church pew and a deer stand or a hayfield an interstate back to nashville

00:10:57.960 a chevrolet with the windows down me and him just riding around sometimes

00:11:06.640 whether i'm looking for him or not that's where i find god come on man

00:11:20.180 sometimes late at night whether uh

00:11:25.380 i'm looking for him or not that's where i find god

00:11:39.720 y'all gotta go get on that right there that's larry fleet

00:11:50.180 where i find god

00:11:52.600 and it is powerful man when you think about that where you find god

00:11:58.840 you know i remember place times in my life where i found him uh

00:12:05.220 you know there's a

00:12:10.760 when i go to my mother's house sometimes i like to lay on her bed and sometimes uh the sun will just

00:12:17.300 kind of hit her bed coming in from the window and

00:12:19.460 and that there's just something about that space and that

00:12:25.260 that moment that

00:12:27.100 that little

00:12:30.060 that time

00:12:32.960 where i feel

00:12:35.620 like there's like you know i feel god then

00:12:39.980 um

00:12:41.620 when i see when you see a little baby when you see a little baby do something

00:12:46.960 you know

00:12:48.300 and not something staged like they had those two little kids hugging on the internet

00:12:54.760 i mean something real

00:12:55.920 you know

00:12:57.160 when you see a little baby hug his parent or

00:13:00.140 you know

00:13:01.720 uh

00:13:02.720 learn something new when you see something in his eyes he's learning something new you know

00:13:06.940 i think there's moments like that where you

00:13:08.820 you just feel

00:13:10.640 like that's god just making another stitch in the quilt you know

00:13:16.520 that's where he puts his

00:13:18.940 uh

00:13:20.400 thread through and brings it back out

00:13:22.820 things like that there's little things that keep you holding on you know

00:13:27.280 when you see your grandmother laugh

00:13:31.080 you know when you when one of your friends has a child you know a close friend

00:13:38.580 um

00:13:40.780 i think it's just you know

00:13:46.800 god is that he's that soapy water man he's gonna find his way through the cracks and

00:13:50.960 uh

00:13:51.960 and i love that song man larry fleet where i find god

00:13:55.120 and some people don't have a god and that's okay man um

00:14:00.240 i i think it's a tough way to go through life i've struggled in my life with my relationship with the higher power

00:14:06.300 and uh

00:14:08.260 and some days it's stronger than others and

00:14:11.840 some days it's not there at all

00:14:13.660 uh

00:14:14.520 but um

00:14:17.020 but man that song

00:14:19.940 that song helps me

00:14:24.060 i don't know

00:14:25.340 it's some something you know music has that power

00:14:28.080 music has that power man help you do some things that you can't do by yourself

00:14:33.440 and some of those things are

00:14:35.240 things your feelings want to do

00:14:36.900 and places they want to go

00:14:38.660 and a song really is just a

00:14:41.800 you know it's just a bunch of

00:14:43.520 sounds that are a key

00:14:45.260 and if they're right man sometimes it'll unlock you

00:14:49.000 and it'll unlock you to love

00:14:51.680 it'll unlock you to dance

00:14:52.860 it'll unlock you to

00:14:53.820 some of the shit will unlock you to damn

00:14:56.260 start a fire

00:14:57.100 you know

00:14:58.240 or to lift weights

00:14:59.260 i mean it's just

00:14:59.800 the

00:15:00.320 the

00:15:00.620 the music

00:15:01.660 you know

00:15:04.700 every song

00:15:05.800 every beat

00:15:06.340 kind of

00:15:06.680 it's a different tickle

00:15:07.780 and some of them tickle you on the side

00:15:12.260 and some of them tickle you in the damn ass

00:15:13.920 and some of them just damn tickle you in the neck

00:15:15.540 and it's just

00:15:16.020 you know

00:15:16.720 it's a

00:15:17.260 they're all

00:15:17.840 it's all a different game

00:15:18.880 but

00:15:19.220 anyway

00:15:21.300 good to be here with you today man

00:15:22.940 that's larry fleet

00:15:23.640 where i find god

00:15:24.440 you can check that out

00:15:25.480 um

00:15:27.000 so

00:15:28.620 do they have

00:15:29.400 uh

00:15:29.920 do they have god stoppers

00:15:31.540 uh

00:15:32.900 they have

00:15:33.800 um

00:15:34.640 unbelievable

00:15:36.000 what's going on

00:15:37.420 i

00:15:37.580 i'm still looking for a vehicle

00:15:39.860 so i've been trying to do car max

00:15:42.960 and car max is like

00:15:46.500 it's kind of like a lost and found for vehicles

00:15:48.640 but you gotta pay for them

00:15:49.880 and

00:15:52.040 i'm waiting

00:15:54.320 i really want a ford ranger

00:15:57.160 like a 2019 maybe

00:15:59.800 so i'm hopeful for that

00:16:02.460 um

00:16:03.620 i went and looked at some houses the past two days

00:16:07.780 that was good

00:16:09.640 went to the doctor

00:16:10.680 um

00:16:11.780 dude i went

00:16:13.200 so

00:16:13.840 i went to the doctor right

00:16:17.120 and

00:16:17.740 i go into the doctor's office

00:16:20.480 and

00:16:21.360 um

00:16:22.660 well

00:16:23.660 i went to the first black doctor i've ever been to

00:16:26.260 and it was just interesting

00:16:29.160 i never

00:16:29.760 it never

00:16:30.500 in my head ever

00:16:31.540 crossed my mind that

00:16:32.820 you know

00:16:34.360 i've seen

00:16:34.940 black doctors on television

00:16:37.020 uh

00:16:37.560 i've thought about black doctors

00:16:39.940 you know

00:16:40.360 african-american doctors

00:16:42.120 black doctors

00:16:43.020 and

00:16:44.700 but i'd never been to one

00:16:46.560 so i go in

00:16:49.700 and there was

00:16:50.200 there's just like

00:16:50.940 there was

00:16:51.940 it was just

00:16:52.820 it just came to my attention

00:16:54.800 you know

00:16:56.840 and it doesn't make me racist

00:16:58.100 that doesn't make me wrong or anything

00:16:59.880 it just

00:17:00.420 at first i was like

00:17:02.360 dang i wonder

00:17:03.260 because then i thought that black people

00:17:05.480 probably have been going to a lot of

00:17:07.480 maybe have been going to a lot of white doctors

00:17:10.300 their whole life

00:17:11.040 i don't know

00:17:11.660 i mean when i was growing up

00:17:13.760 they didn't have black doctors

00:17:15.080 except for cliff huxtable

00:17:17.620 you know bill cosby

00:17:19.740 and he was

00:17:20.960 um

00:17:21.540 you know

00:17:23.480 he was doing rapes

00:17:24.460 so

00:17:26.060 but that don't mean nothing

00:17:27.840 i mean he was

00:17:28.360 on the show he wasn't

00:17:29.320 on the show

00:17:30.820 he was just doctoring

00:17:32.480 this one he was just still

00:17:34.200 you know

00:17:34.500 doing uh

00:17:35.180 you know

00:17:36.960 birth

00:17:37.860 yeah i think he was a baby doctor

00:17:40.000 so he was

00:17:41.440 you know this is

00:17:42.260 that's way after rape

00:17:44.160 you know

00:17:44.460 that's

00:17:44.840 that's babies

00:17:45.760 so anyway

00:17:46.540 i just had never been to a black doctor

00:17:48.260 i just had never

00:17:49.020 i'd never been there

00:17:50.820 because they didn't have it

00:17:51.600 when i was growing up

00:17:52.840 and then in la

00:17:55.100 a lot of

00:17:55.580 i guess

00:17:55.940 yeah i don't know

00:17:57.600 i've been to some middle eastern

00:17:58.420 i've just never been to a black doctor

00:17:59.780 so anyway

00:18:00.260 and then i thought

00:18:01.460 man it must be wild

00:18:02.440 because a lot of black kids

00:18:03.500 when i was young

00:18:04.100 probably had to grow up

00:18:04.900 going to white doctors

00:18:06.320 and if you have like

00:18:09.480 a lot of racial questions

00:18:10.780 in your head

00:18:11.420 you go in there

00:18:12.420 dude

00:18:14.100 i bet you're wondering like

00:18:15.460 is this

00:18:16.200 white doctor

00:18:17.780 gonna save me

00:18:18.980 you know

00:18:20.160 um

00:18:23.400 it was definitely interesting

00:18:25.960 i started talking to a friend of mine

00:18:27.160 about it

00:18:27.740 and they said

00:18:29.600 well

00:18:29.980 to a black friend of mine

00:18:31.640 and they said

00:18:31.960 well you know

00:18:32.300 a lot of black people

00:18:33.060 that's why they like to go to black churches

00:18:34.860 because people

00:18:35.880 sometimes will

00:18:38.080 you know

00:18:40.740 people

00:18:41.200 there's just a

00:18:43.100 you know

00:18:44.280 there's a tribal kind of instinct

00:18:45.820 sometimes

00:18:46.260 especially i think

00:18:46.920 if you're thinking about going to heaven

00:18:48.360 um

00:18:50.040 or at least there used to be

00:18:52.620 i don't know if it's that much anymore

00:18:53.820 because i'll see like

00:18:55.300 uh

00:18:56.920 joel osteen videos

00:18:58.600 and it's

00:18:59.380 i mean it's so diverse

00:19:00.940 at his crowds

00:19:01.700 and

00:19:01.960 um

00:19:03.380 so this is probably just an older

00:19:05.480 you know

00:19:07.140 just some older stuff

00:19:08.140 but

00:19:08.380 it was just really interesting

00:19:10.000 i just got in there

00:19:10.760 and i was like

00:19:11.140 is this guy

00:19:11.840 is he

00:19:12.340 is he gonna know

00:19:13.380 because i think

00:19:15.600 part of my wonder was

00:19:16.760 is it feel different

00:19:18.060 to be

00:19:18.760 black

00:19:19.380 like just does it

00:19:20.120 physically feel different

00:19:21.400 like

00:19:21.620 if i explain to him

00:19:22.860 a white pain

00:19:23.760 or just a pain that i have

00:19:25.900 in my

00:19:26.260 white body

00:19:27.160 is it gonna

00:19:28.100 does it register the same to him

00:19:30.680 you know

00:19:32.340 like

00:19:33.940 i don't know

00:19:35.900 it was just interesting

00:19:37.000 um

00:19:38.140 and he was great man

00:19:40.280 super

00:19:40.860 super nice

00:19:42.660 young guy

00:19:43.440 um

00:19:44.440 you know

00:19:46.720 but it was definitely

00:19:47.800 it was just interesting

00:19:49.660 because i'd never been

00:19:50.580 i'm like if i

00:19:52.160 you know

00:19:54.300 if i say there's something

00:19:55.120 hurts in my back

00:19:55.920 does it

00:19:56.320 like does he have the same feeling

00:19:58.920 it was just

00:19:59.260 it was interesting

00:20:00.280 and i think yeah

00:20:02.500 in churches

00:20:02.980 i think people think

00:20:03.900 sometimes

00:20:04.160 oh man

00:20:04.760 it's

00:20:05.460 will

00:20:06.380 can i get to heaven

00:20:07.680 or will i get

00:20:08.460 you know

00:20:08.760 is this

00:20:09.500 worship lead

00:20:11.460 like do they have the same

00:20:12.860 like if i

00:20:16.620 if i'm white

00:20:18.040 do i gotta get

00:20:18.920 you know

00:20:19.280 do i need a white person

00:20:21.020 to help me get to heaven

00:20:21.780 if i'm black

00:20:22.420 do i need a black person

00:20:23.520 to help me get to heaven

00:20:24.340 um

00:20:26.220 so it was

00:20:29.580 it was just

00:20:30.320 it was just

00:20:31.180 an interesting thing

00:20:31.980 that happened man

00:20:32.760 i didn't

00:20:33.380 i just walked in

00:20:34.300 and i was like

00:20:34.720 why

00:20:35.340 i never

00:20:35.920 so i was like

00:20:38.600 yeah i think i'm at

00:20:39.480 you know

00:20:39.820 my

00:20:40.400 my antidepressants

00:20:42.020 aren't working

00:20:42.720 and

00:20:44.440 but he was totally

00:20:46.900 he was awesome man

00:20:48.240 so

00:20:48.580 uh

00:20:51.360 not that he wouldn't be

00:20:52.760 but it was just

00:20:54.360 a new experience

00:20:55.480 bro

00:20:55.780 so it made me think

00:20:58.040 like dang

00:20:58.460 when i was young

00:20:59.100 all of my friends

00:20:59.940 that were black

00:21:00.380 had to go to

00:21:00.920 white doctors

00:21:01.520 probably because

00:21:01.820 i don't know

00:21:02.040 if they had

00:21:02.480 black doctors

00:21:03.220 back then

00:21:03.780 and if you lived

00:21:06.560 in a household

00:21:07.200 where you had

00:21:07.900 family members

00:21:08.560 saying like

00:21:09.040 white people

00:21:09.680 or there were

00:21:10.180 white people

00:21:10.800 the devil

00:21:11.240 or something

00:21:11.580 then how would

00:21:12.620 imagine how awkward

00:21:15.380 it would be

00:21:15.660 to go get a

00:21:16.220 diagnosis then

00:21:17.560 from a white doctor

00:21:18.700 it must have been

00:21:21.640 i don't know

00:21:23.320 it must have

00:21:23.560 just been wild

00:21:24.340 i don't know man

00:21:28.060 uh

00:21:30.140 but that's some

00:21:31.100 stuff you know

00:21:31.500 that's just kind

00:21:32.020 of what's been

00:21:32.340 going on

00:21:32.680 i've been doing

00:21:33.100 some yoga at

00:21:34.080 home

00:21:34.500 uh

00:21:35.560 did a show here

00:21:36.280 the other night

00:21:36.720 in nashville

00:21:37.540 so thank you

00:21:39.060 everybody that

00:21:39.580 came through

00:21:40.180 uh

00:21:40.920 i've been doing

00:21:41.220 some yoga man

00:21:41.860 here's how i do

00:21:43.000 yoga

00:21:43.320 people want to

00:21:43.880 say well theo

00:21:44.360 how do you do

00:21:44.960 yoga

00:21:45.340 this is what i do

00:21:47.040 so i'm renting

00:21:49.500 an airbnb right

00:21:50.720 now

00:21:51.040 and that's where

00:21:53.120 you just get a

00:21:53.820 place for a little

00:21:54.420 while and

00:21:55.260 it's kind of

00:21:57.220 sketchy i mean

00:21:57.860 you could do

00:21:58.220 you could run a

00:21:58.800 whorehouse out of

00:21:59.420 you do whatever

00:21:59.780 you want

00:22:00.160 but i'm just

00:22:01.640 doing life

00:22:02.480 just sleep and

00:22:03.140 eating

00:22:03.440 uh

00:22:04.780 that sort of

00:22:05.420 deal so

00:22:05.860 i put on yoga

00:22:08.080 with adrian

00:22:08.980 and it's this

00:22:10.360 white girl based

00:22:11.320 out of

00:22:12.060 um

00:22:12.860 austin

00:22:14.580 uh

00:22:16.720 yeah based

00:22:19.620 out of austin

00:22:20.040 and so um

00:22:20.920 they got

00:22:21.240 barbecue chips

00:22:22.540 um

00:22:23.860 so anyway i put

00:22:25.300 it on i'll put

00:22:25.840 my mat out i got

00:22:26.620 one of the long

00:22:27.300 mats there's

00:22:28.480 different lengths

00:22:29.160 of yoga mats you

00:22:30.100 can get i get

00:22:30.780 the long one

00:22:31.520 there's nothing

00:22:33.320 i hate more than

00:22:35.000 the yoga mat

00:22:35.800 that's a little

00:22:36.380 short whenever

00:22:37.220 you're like doing

00:22:38.000 it and your kind

00:22:38.760 of foot's hanging

00:22:39.400 off the back and

00:22:40.260 it's kind of like

00:22:41.880 when you have a

00:22:42.260 shirt on it's a

00:22:42.900 little too short

00:22:43.580 it's like so i

00:22:46.240 get the long one

00:22:47.140 i'll light a couple

00:22:48.420 candles i'll cut

00:22:49.160 out the i'll cut

00:22:49.880 out the house

00:22:50.380 lights i light a

00:22:52.720 few candles

00:22:53.280 bro a little

00:22:53.740 couple seance

00:22:54.480 pieces you know

00:22:55.340 and a lot of my

00:22:57.000 candles have been

00:22:57.820 used in

00:22:59.680 seancery so

00:23:02.500 um so you

00:23:07.020 know i'm not

00:23:08.360 surprised i'm in

00:23:09.000 a downward dog

00:23:09.720 and a damn you

00:23:10.680 know you know

00:23:11.980 a ghost travels

00:23:12.780 right up under my

00:23:13.500 ass bro that's

00:23:14.220 where i'm at

00:23:14.760 so anyway i'll

00:23:17.660 put on yoga with

00:23:18.240 adrian there's

00:23:19.000 like about 10

00:23:19.640 different ones i

00:23:20.180 like to do i'll

00:23:21.500 light a couple

00:23:21.960 candles unscented

00:23:23.680 i don't need you

00:23:25.760 know i don't need

00:23:27.480 to be smelling

00:23:27.960 peppermints while

00:23:28.820 i'm laying there

00:23:29.420 do that peppermint

00:23:30.440 they got peppermints

00:23:31.680 they got um mint

00:23:32.980 juleps they got um

00:23:35.640 wrigley's uh so

00:23:39.500 that's it i'll lay

00:23:40.140 out the mat i put

00:23:41.960 on a couple candles

00:23:42.740 i'll put it on my

00:23:43.380 computer i'll turn

00:23:44.220 my email off so

00:23:45.400 the thing doesn't

00:23:46.080 ding and i'll do

00:23:48.400 a good session man

00:23:49.480 and i start to like

00:23:51.120 it more and more

00:23:51.800 and it makes me feel

00:23:52.440 pretty good but i do

00:23:54.040 yoga with adrian

00:23:55.060 and um and i noticed

00:23:59.840 the reason i like her

00:24:00.860 is for one she goes

00:24:02.980 really step by step

00:24:04.240 and two her voice

00:24:07.300 there's something about

00:24:10.600 the cadence and the

00:24:12.400 volume of her voice

00:24:14.720 that's just it helps me

00:24:17.520 just travel through yoga

00:24:18.840 you know just like i was

00:24:22.160 saying earlier about

00:24:22.760 different songs

00:24:23.420 different sounds um

00:24:24.960 have a different

00:24:27.060 gravitas to them

00:24:28.260 and they stick to you

00:24:30.720 different

00:24:31.080 and some of them will

00:24:34.000 fill your ears up and

00:24:35.080 some of them will just

00:24:35.760 get make you gassy in

00:24:37.020 your head

00:24:37.420 like you got damn

00:24:39.140 ass you know like you

00:24:40.040 got ass in your head

00:24:41.160 bro

00:24:41.400 and i think that's why

00:24:45.520 you know people like

00:24:46.400 different music because

00:24:47.040 certain

00:24:47.400 some people like a

00:24:49.820 tambourine

00:24:50.500 i don't mind a

00:24:53.640 tambourine maybe for a

00:24:54.640 little while in like a

00:24:55.620 janis joplin song

00:24:56.920 or maybe subtly if

00:25:00.160 leon bridges is hitting

00:25:01.300 something kind of hardy

00:25:02.500 but i don't do somebody

00:25:05.520 just loosen just loose

00:25:06.960 goosing around with a

00:25:07.980 tambourine bro

00:25:08.900 do they have weapons

00:25:12.520 they got guns

00:25:14.460 dude i can't

00:25:15.280 i can't handle that

00:25:17.320 somebody about to get

00:25:18.500 slaughtered out

00:25:19.240 so

00:25:20.240 um

00:25:22.140 but yeah that's what's

00:25:23.920 new with me man

00:25:24.780 i'm just

00:25:25.980 you know

00:25:29.080 uh

00:25:29.900 just going to diverse

00:25:31.360 doctors

00:25:31.880 because you also think

00:25:34.540 like man if this

00:25:35.360 if this doctor has like

00:25:36.780 some kind of

00:25:37.280 like would they have some

00:25:38.640 kind of vendetta where

00:25:39.540 they're going to

00:25:39.920 prescribe me a

00:25:41.000 you know a damn

00:25:42.920 you know uh

00:25:43.940 you know a tart

00:25:45.680 transplant

00:25:46.300 but then i think man

00:25:51.080 black people must have

00:25:51.880 thought that forever

00:25:52.740 if they always had to go

00:25:53.920 to white doctors

00:25:54.600 or you know

00:25:55.620 i don't know i just

00:25:57.600 i don't know if they

00:25:58.240 had a lot of black

00:25:59.020 and i'm also referencing

00:26:01.240 when i was growing up

00:26:02.400 i just don't know if

00:26:04.260 they had a black doctor

00:26:05.320 when i was growing up

00:26:06.180 and i didn't know at

00:26:10.800 the time i was a child

00:26:11.740 i don't know where

00:26:12.320 black you know i just

00:26:13.060 thought black kids

00:26:13.940 always look pretty

00:26:14.560 healthy to me

00:26:15.280 they were the you know

00:26:16.340 most athletic they

00:26:17.520 just seemed like they

00:26:18.420 was always doing pretty

00:26:19.240 good

00:26:19.620 so

00:26:20.780 but i don't know man

00:26:23.000 just

00:26:23.320 i never thought about

00:26:25.440 it where were black

00:26:26.140 kids going to the

00:26:26.820 doctor when i was a

00:26:27.620 kid

00:26:27.920 i mean it was a

00:26:33.560 small town we

00:26:34.040 probably all went to

00:26:34.560 the same damn doctor

00:26:35.400 dude

00:26:35.720 um let's get into

00:26:38.160 some calls some

00:26:38.720 calls came in we got

00:26:39.620 some some unique

00:26:40.640 things um we had

00:26:42.660 uh that call that

00:26:43.280 came in about the

00:26:43.760 ps5 which was really

00:26:44.820 nice uh last week

00:26:45.960 and uh somebody

00:26:47.260 wanting to share

00:26:47.880 that uh let's see

00:26:49.400 what we can uh get

00:26:50.880 into right here here

00:26:51.780 we go and thank you

00:26:53.260 guys for being a part

00:26:54.020 of this past weekend

00:26:54.980 if you have any

00:26:55.840 thoughts on anything

00:26:56.600 that's ever discussed

00:26:57.360 on here mentioned

00:26:58.000 you can call the

00:26:58.940 hotline 985-664-9503

00:27:04.560 uh we're open to

00:27:05.800 any constructive

00:27:06.440 criticisms always

00:27:08.060 here and merry

00:27:08.620 christmas to

00:27:09.140 everybody gang

00:27:10.160 hey theo name's

00:27:12.440 caden uh man i

00:27:14.620 just gotta get your

00:27:15.260 thoughts on on the

00:27:16.260 vaping stuff man a

00:27:17.600 couple of my buddies

00:27:18.300 have been hitting that

00:27:18.960 sparky nasty here for

00:27:20.180 a while and they've

00:27:20.820 been they done

00:27:21.640 switched over to the

00:27:22.540 jewel or the vape

00:27:24.040 whatever and uh

00:27:26.540 man i don't know

00:27:27.800 what to think about

00:27:28.460 it man they just

00:27:29.020 keep trying to get

00:27:29.740 me to hit on that

00:27:30.760 thing and i don't

00:27:32.220 know about hitting on

00:27:32.900 the toker man i gotta

00:27:34.000 get your thoughts on

00:27:34.860 it holla back at me

00:27:36.100 thank you brother

00:27:36.640 all right thank you

00:27:38.600 so much there caden

00:27:39.580 and uh yeah because

00:27:42.680 jeweling is different

00:27:43.980 people do jeweling

00:27:45.820 you'll see somebody

00:27:48.080 they gotta you know

00:27:49.300 hey do you jewel

00:27:50.860 just gargling vowels

00:27:56.080 just

00:27:56.320 you jewel

00:28:02.240 dude when i was young

00:28:05.080 jewel was a child

00:28:06.000 person's name

00:28:06.820 so if somebody said

00:28:09.280 you jewel i would be

00:28:10.280 like no i'm theo

00:28:11.220 who is she

00:28:13.380 yeah um

00:28:14.880 and now yeah the

00:28:17.060 kids got everything

00:28:18.000 you know they got

00:28:19.540 tiramisu flavored

00:28:20.780 watermelon bro

00:28:21.980 dog when i was doing

00:28:24.080 you had to hit that

00:28:25.080 cigarette baby

00:28:26.100 like a damn man

00:28:28.000 you had to stand

00:28:29.620 there like a just a

00:28:30.560 fucking loose piece

00:28:31.420 of forest fire

00:28:32.480 just

00:28:32.860 you had you know

00:28:39.780 what i'm saying

00:28:40.120 you had this a

00:28:40.960 smoker had to smoke

00:28:42.360 there wasn't no

00:28:43.620 secret

00:28:44.060 hey you know

00:28:45.920 this thing is also

00:28:46.680 doubles as a hard

00:28:47.600 drive

00:28:48.020 you can keep up

00:28:49.280 like just like 60

00:28:50.280 jpegs on here

00:28:51.640 and y'all got all

00:29:02.780 kind of flavor

00:29:03.380 they got lasagna

00:29:04.360 they got everything

00:29:06.060 man

00:29:06.480 they got regular

00:29:07.880 mint

00:29:08.220 they got cement

00:29:09.080 they got menthol

00:29:11.260 peanut butter

00:29:12.080 bruh

00:29:12.560 everything

00:29:13.100 man

00:29:13.660 they got lactaid

00:29:15.540 somebody just

00:29:16.180 hitting a damn

00:29:16.640 lactaid jewel

00:29:17.740 say their bowels

00:29:19.360 can't handle

00:29:19.800 regular jewel

00:29:20.720 bitch

00:29:21.160 what

00:29:21.680 when i was young

00:29:24.580 you had to smoke

00:29:25.600 and you had to risk

00:29:28.140 getting busted

00:29:28.760 that's another thing

00:29:29.380 about a jewel

00:29:30.020 i see people

00:29:31.180 jeweling on the

00:29:31.900 plane

00:29:32.340 i see people

00:29:34.840 just

00:29:35.180 blowing into

00:29:36.500 their pocket

00:29:37.180 blowing in

00:29:38.720 into the dog's

00:29:39.740 mouth

00:29:39.940 they got a little

00:29:40.480 rescue dog

00:29:41.280 on there

00:29:41.660 with them

00:29:42.120 little schnauzer

00:29:43.900 and they

00:29:44.240 you know

00:29:45.060 they chimneying

00:29:46.840 that bitch

00:29:47.360 up

00:29:47.720 when i was young

00:29:50.120 you had to smoke

00:29:51.060 you had to go

00:29:51.840 hard

00:29:52.360 and you had to

00:29:53.660 blow

00:29:53.900 yet i blow it

00:29:54.740 and there was

00:29:55.300 no hiding

00:29:55.900 that smoke

00:29:56.520 that shit

00:29:57.620 was the

00:29:57.880 industrial

00:29:58.300 revolution

00:29:59.060 baby

00:29:59.480 i mean

00:30:01.760 you look

00:30:02.060 like a

00:30:02.320 damn

00:30:02.540 sawmill

00:30:03.260 out there

00:30:03.740 just

00:30:04.020 hitting

00:30:04.620 winston's

00:30:05.400 and you

00:30:06.720 smelled

00:30:07.260 like it

00:30:07.800 now

00:30:09.520 somebody

00:30:09.860 comes in

00:30:10.280 the house

00:30:10.560 they're out

00:30:10.900 there

00:30:11.020 they've been

00:30:11.320 hitting that

00:30:11.740 cherry

00:30:12.160 or that

00:30:12.500 paprika

00:30:13.140 you know

00:30:15.620 somebody

00:30:15.940 comes in

00:30:16.400 the house

00:30:16.740 and they've

00:30:17.040 been hitting

00:30:17.440 the ricotta

00:30:19.420 they just

00:30:21.620 did 40

00:30:22.160 grams of

00:30:22.680 ricotta

00:30:23.060 cheese

00:30:23.480 jewel

00:30:23.840 outside

00:30:24.540 it's just

00:30:27.220 different man

00:30:27.960 this shit is

00:30:28.360 weak now

00:30:29.100 so i say

00:30:30.420 put it down

00:30:31.220 baby

00:30:31.600 put it down

00:30:33.100 and pick up

00:30:33.520 a real

00:30:33.900 cigarette

00:30:34.640 pick up

00:30:36.280 that real

00:30:36.680 killer

00:30:37.160 bro

00:30:37.500 you know

00:30:39.300 what i'm

00:30:39.540 saying

00:30:39.720 have some

00:30:40.160 honor

00:30:40.740 get japanese

00:30:42.040 with it

00:30:42.520 pick up

00:30:42.880 a real

00:30:43.500 cigarette

00:30:44.260 and hit

00:30:44.700 that

00:30:44.920 bastard

00:30:45.420 because you

00:30:47.200 out here

00:30:47.560 hitting these

00:30:48.000 fake

00:30:48.340 dude it

00:30:49.300 can store

00:30:49.800 up to

00:30:50.120 like 30

00:30:50.780 jpegs

00:30:51.760 in it

00:30:52.400 yeah

00:30:55.560 man

00:30:56.160 and it's

00:30:57.800 peach cobbler

00:30:58.560 flavored

00:30:58.960 bitch

00:30:59.380 i don't

00:30:59.720 care

00:31:00.120 get that

00:31:01.940 old

00:31:02.320 dog

00:31:02.860 i remember

00:31:04.300 hitting a

00:31:04.680 marlboro red

00:31:05.480 bro

00:31:05.660 i made one

00:31:06.060 of my eyes

00:31:06.560 closed for a

00:31:07.280 month

00:31:07.580 i remember

00:31:09.640 that shit

00:31:10.180 was for

00:31:10.920 real

00:31:11.680 and you had

00:31:13.260 to come back

00:31:13.720 to the table

00:31:14.140 smell you

00:31:14.740 had to hide

00:31:15.180 the smell

00:31:15.880 you over there

00:31:17.320 rubbing gum

00:31:18.060 all over you

00:31:18.720 in the garage

00:31:19.320 trying to

00:31:19.660 you spraying

00:31:20.240 double d

00:31:20.840 double d

00:31:21.560 40 on your

00:31:22.240 buddy

00:31:22.580 trying to get

00:31:23.560 the smoke

00:31:24.040 off of him

00:31:24.840 everybody

00:31:26.980 you and

00:31:27.340 you

00:31:27.460 you come

00:31:27.840 back to

00:31:28.120 the

00:31:28.260 thanksgiving

00:31:28.760 table

00:31:29.100 smell like

00:31:29.500 a damn

00:31:29.820 oil

00:31:30.120 change

00:31:30.700 but you

00:31:33.160 had to

00:31:33.440 go through

00:31:33.900 something

00:31:34.340 now you

00:31:35.120 got people

00:31:35.460 sucking out

00:31:36.060 out here

00:31:36.420 sucking on

00:31:36.860 a damn

00:31:37.160 usb

00:31:37.820 port

00:31:38.300 dude my

00:31:41.780 buddy's in

00:31:42.320 the uh

00:31:42.840 jewel uh

00:31:43.680 he's a

00:31:43.940 professional

00:31:44.480 yeah he's

00:31:45.740 in the

00:31:45.980 semis in

00:31:46.540 reno this

00:31:47.200 weekend

00:31:47.740 put it

00:31:48.820 down

00:31:49.440 y'all ain't

00:31:50.940 doing shit

00:31:51.720 bro

00:31:52.100 pick up a

00:31:53.420 regular cigarette

00:31:54.400 dude

00:31:55.060 smoke them

00:31:56.820 for 20 30

00:31:57.600 years watch

00:31:58.260 your skin

00:31:58.740 give in a

00:31:59.380 little and

00:32:00.060 then go see

00:32:00.660 the lord

00:32:01.240 have some

00:32:03.060 respect for

00:32:03.700 yourselves

00:32:04.320 uh

00:32:04.840 so that's

00:32:07.800 what i think

00:32:08.120 a jewel man

00:32:08.720 sorry to go

00:32:09.160 off on that

00:32:09.580 but i had to

00:32:09.960 let you know

00:32:10.480 man um

00:32:11.860 what else

00:32:13.860 dude here we

00:32:14.240 got a call

00:32:14.560 that came in

00:32:15.200 uh and i'm

00:32:16.060 also gonna let

00:32:16.520 you know

00:32:16.780 right now

00:32:17.500 that if you

00:32:18.660 need help

00:32:19.340 look and i

00:32:20.920 need it man

00:32:21.560 i've been

00:32:22.800 seeing a

00:32:23.140 therapist uh

00:32:24.800 on line

00:32:27.320 and in

00:32:27.780 person and

00:32:29.440 it's going

00:32:29.860 good and

00:32:32.040 i'm not

00:32:32.380 giving up my

00:32:32.960 brother made

00:32:33.340 me commit that

00:32:33.860 i would go see

00:32:34.340 a therapist for

00:32:34.900 one year

00:32:35.600 um

00:32:37.180 so i'm

00:32:38.420 glad he's

00:32:38.800 holding me

00:32:39.080 accountable to

00:32:39.620 that a little

00:32:40.060 bit and

00:32:40.560 uh and i

00:32:42.040 need it

00:32:42.460 you know i

00:32:43.540 need it

00:32:44.000 um so what

00:32:46.780 i'm telling you

00:32:47.160 right now is

00:32:47.860 that better help

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00:32:49.260 you better help

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00:32:59.000 you know i

00:33:00.700 remember in my

00:33:01.380 town i grew up in

00:33:02.100 i might have been

00:33:02.540 a little bit

00:33:02.940 you know nervous

00:33:04.040 therapist or

00:33:04.400 if i go see

00:33:05.560 the therapist

00:33:06.120 well hell i

00:33:06.640 play basketball

00:33:07.280 with her husband

00:33:07.980 so is she

00:33:09.480 gonna tell him

00:33:10.300 what's he gonna

00:33:10.820 think you know

00:33:12.300 and well he

00:33:13.800 and i both went

00:33:14.280 to school together

00:33:15.060 and is that

00:33:15.520 gonna be weird

00:33:16.020 and she and

00:33:16.480 i went to

00:33:16.820 school together

00:33:17.380 hell i

00:33:17.740 she rejected

00:33:19.120 me four times

00:33:20.240 is it gonna be

00:33:21.520 weird now that

00:33:22.100 i'm in there

00:33:22.500 just telling her

00:33:23.100 what's wrong

00:33:23.500 with me

00:33:23.900 yeah well it

00:33:25.680 could be i

00:33:26.220 don't know

00:33:26.720 but if it is

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00:36:04.140 the hotline

00:36:04.680 985-664-9503

00:36:07.940 hey buddy

00:36:09.520 hey theo

00:36:10.000 this is ryan

00:36:10.880 um

00:36:12.220 i want to get

00:36:13.320 your thoughts

00:36:13.920 on what it

00:36:15.400 means that uh

00:36:16.460 you know

00:36:16.900 the ufos are

00:36:17.660 definitely real

00:36:18.200 now and like

00:36:19.560 whether that

00:36:20.220 kind of i don't

00:36:21.860 know sex

00:36:22.300 as human beings

00:36:23.680 uh makes you

00:36:25.360 think about you

00:36:26.620 know time travel

00:36:27.300 and stuff like

00:36:27.760 that um just in

00:36:30.040 general does impact

00:36:30.880 your your daily

00:36:31.820 thinking that you

00:36:32.520 can you know look

00:36:33.640 up at the sky and

00:36:34.420 say watch out

00:36:35.540 there all right

00:36:36.760 buddy thanks a lot

00:36:37.900 uh gang gang

00:36:38.720 thank you for the

00:36:40.340 call ryan

00:36:41.000 you know recently

00:36:42.880 they had a thing

00:36:43.980 an article

00:36:45.400 and it said uh

00:36:48.060 israeli space

00:36:50.360 security chief

00:36:51.440 says extraterrestrials

00:36:53.800 exist and trump

00:36:55.080 knows about it

00:36:56.540 he said a galactic

00:36:59.620 federation has been

00:37:00.980 waiting for humans to

00:37:01.920 reach a stage where

00:37:02.860 we will understand

00:37:03.820 what space and

00:37:04.980 spaceships are

00:37:06.560 haim eshed has

00:37:09.500 said this

00:37:10.220 um

00:37:12.840 said the aliens

00:37:15.880 were equally curious

00:37:17.060 about humanity and

00:37:18.560 were seeking to

00:37:19.280 understand the fabric

00:37:20.700 of the universe

00:37:21.800 uh

00:37:24.560 uh and he said

00:37:26.680 that they have

00:37:28.200 been waiting until

00:37:28.980 today for humanity

00:37:29.800 to develop and

00:37:31.100 reach a stage where

00:37:31.880 we will all

00:37:32.360 understand in general

00:37:33.360 what space and

00:37:34.760 spaceships are

00:37:36.660 they also added that

00:37:38.740 president donald trump

00:37:39.600 was aware of the

00:37:40.220 extraterrestrials

00:37:40.920 existence and had

00:37:42.360 been on the verge of

00:37:43.520 revealing information

00:37:44.620 but was asked not to

00:37:46.560 in order to prevent

00:37:48.400 mass hysteria

00:37:50.700 according also to the

00:37:52.080 report uh haim's

00:37:53.780 uh the former head

00:37:55.120 of israeli's defense

00:37:56.140 ministry space

00:37:57.040 directorate told an

00:37:58.640 israeli newspaper that

00:37:59.660 earthlings have been in

00:38:00.760 contact with a galactic

00:38:02.640 federation and that

00:38:04.120 there's an underground

00:38:04.900 base in the depths of

00:38:06.600 mars where there are

00:38:08.280 american astronauts and

00:38:09.840 alien representatives

00:38:10.800 uh

00:38:12.360 look

00:38:14.540 you know to answer your

00:38:15.880 question why you said

00:38:16.540 that we know now that

00:38:17.640 they're real

00:38:18.080 we

00:38:18.820 i don't know i don't

00:38:20.600 know if i believe any

00:38:21.400 news that comes out

00:38:22.140 anymore it's all subject

00:38:23.440 to what you believe

00:38:24.700 so i think the news

00:38:27.180 used to be you know

00:38:28.800 there was a level of

00:38:30.100 what we thought was

00:38:32.960 reality of it

00:38:34.080 to it and i don't know

00:38:35.640 if that's the case

00:38:36.260 anymore i really don't

00:38:37.480 um

00:38:39.100 so do i know if this

00:38:40.860 article is legit i have

00:38:41.720 no idea

00:38:42.380 you think that there's

00:38:44.480 like a board me it

00:38:45.560 makes it sound like

00:38:46.220 there's a meeting every

00:38:47.080 year and the aliens

00:38:48.060 decide

00:38:48.880 if we're ready

00:38:51.300 to

00:38:52.140 see the aliens

00:38:53.880 i don't know that

00:38:56.380 sound like

00:38:56.900 they're like well how's

00:38:58.920 this year been and

00:38:59.600 you're like well um

00:39:00.940 you know uh

00:39:02.520 well we

00:39:03.380 you know we're arriving

00:39:04.500 at the ps5 right now

00:39:05.960 and

00:39:07.220 there is

00:39:08.480 we have picture frames

00:39:09.660 that can change the

00:39:10.820 picture

00:39:11.160 you know and they're

00:39:12.920 solar powered

00:39:13.540 so

00:39:14.260 we're you know we're

00:39:16.900 still struggling to

00:39:17.500 recycle but uh

00:39:19.280 that's where we're at

00:39:20.300 and then it's like

00:39:21.780 rejected

00:39:22.600 and then the next year

00:39:24.420 they're like are you

00:39:25.120 how all right guys

00:39:26.660 how's things this year

00:39:27.540 you ready to accept

00:39:28.360 aliens

00:39:28.800 and they're like well

00:39:30.640 we're having like

00:39:31.640 a lot of widespread

00:39:33.320 racial disputes

00:39:34.460 and um

00:39:35.680 but we do

00:39:37.300 you know there is a

00:39:38.200 new popular like

00:39:39.120 bidet attachment that

00:39:40.440 people are buying for

00:39:41.140 their toilets they

00:39:41.860 don't have to wipe

00:39:42.380 their butt

00:39:43.000 it's like uh

00:39:44.760 rejected

00:39:45.740 dude we're

00:39:47.740 it reminds me of

00:39:49.140 that scene in um

00:39:50.160 Shawshank Redemption

00:39:51.200 where he keeps going

00:39:52.260 every year to try to

00:39:53.200 get

00:39:53.560 denied

00:39:54.840 denied

00:39:55.420 denied

00:39:56.000 denied

00:39:56.500 and then finally

00:39:57.680 Brooks was here baby

00:39:59.600 I'm gonna kill myself

00:40:01.280 bought a grocery

00:40:01.960 praise god baby

00:40:03.160 um

00:40:04.480 so yeah

00:40:05.920 that just seems weird

00:40:06.860 that there's a meeting

00:40:07.720 every year

00:40:08.280 and that there's like

00:40:11.260 discussion

00:40:11.860 I just can't

00:40:13.060 until people are ready

00:40:15.140 we will never

00:40:17.520 be ready

00:40:19.800 people are beating

00:40:21.060 the shit out of

00:40:22.020 each other

00:40:22.360 for PS5s

00:40:23.860 and the malls

00:40:26.220 aren't even open

00:40:27.000 think about that

00:40:30.560 there are

00:40:32.600 shooting

00:40:33.180 I'm sure there's a

00:40:34.100 shooting right now

00:40:35.140 if you put your ear up

00:40:36.520 to a bowl of

00:40:37.820 dirty water

00:40:38.440 you can hear a

00:40:39.920 shooting in Flint

00:40:40.860 Michigan right now

00:40:41.780 probably for a pair

00:40:44.940 of children's

00:40:46.000 I'll roll

00:40:46.540 our skates

00:40:47.240 we are not

00:40:49.400 ready for aliens

00:40:50.540 now some

00:40:54.480 positives I think

00:40:55.300 is it would give us

00:40:56.280 all somebody to

00:40:57.320 battle against

00:40:58.120 because I'll tell you

00:41:01.880 straight up bro

00:41:02.660 some alien

00:41:04.700 shows up

00:41:05.540 over there in

00:41:06.080 Memphis or something

00:41:06.940 some brother's

00:41:09.940 gonna pop him

00:41:10.520 off bro

00:41:11.060 real talk

00:41:11.940 or if he shows

00:41:14.600 up out there

00:41:15.040 in Oregon

00:41:15.440 a couple of

00:41:16.120 white dudes

00:41:16.540 gonna sneak

00:41:17.060 over and abduct

00:41:17.720 his ass

00:41:18.240 you know

00:41:18.660 make a chili

00:41:20.460 out of him

00:41:21.160 so I don't

00:41:24.920 know

00:41:25.060 I mean

00:41:25.280 I mean the

00:41:29.380 whole

00:41:29.540 the alien thing

00:41:30.540 always to me

00:41:31.280 do I think

00:41:31.940 that we're

00:41:32.340 the only people

00:41:33.260 here

00:41:33.940 like the only

00:41:34.580 beings

00:41:35.220 I don't know

00:41:36.020 and people

00:41:38.160 say well it's

00:41:38.700 selfish to think

00:41:39.460 that well

00:41:40.020 I don't think

00:41:41.580 it I don't

00:41:41.960 know

00:41:42.380 I think

00:41:47.780 we're in the

00:41:48.420 very kinder

00:41:50.060 years of

00:41:50.820 learning about

00:41:51.600 all of that

00:41:52.000 kind of stuff

00:41:52.600 the simple

00:41:55.380 fact that we're

00:41:55.900 still operating

00:41:56.460 on fuels

00:41:57.180 like you

00:41:59.040 know gasoline

00:41:59.880 and

00:42:00.880 whatever else

00:42:03.780 they're using

00:42:04.320 octane

00:42:05.160 I think in

00:42:07.500 the future

00:42:07.980 people will be

00:42:08.520 able to

00:42:08.840 fucking travel

00:42:09.620 on a good

00:42:10.080 idea you know

00:42:10.760 you'll have a

00:42:12.500 couple good

00:42:12.880 ideas and that

00:42:13.480 will fill up

00:42:13.880 your idea

00:42:14.340 cube and then

00:42:15.100 you'll be

00:42:16.660 able to use

00:42:17.100 the lightning

00:42:17.580 created from

00:42:18.600 that to

00:42:19.240 migrate to

00:42:20.340 different areas

00:42:20.820 I think you

00:42:21.620 know we're

00:42:21.900 just on this

00:42:22.360 we're on this

00:42:22.900 very novice

00:42:24.380 plane right

00:42:25.060 now

00:42:25.380 so yeah I

00:42:28.920 think it's

00:42:30.440 going to be

00:42:30.740 interesting down

00:42:31.340 the line now

00:42:32.260 I do think

00:42:32.720 this about

00:42:33.060 aliens I think

00:42:33.760 it's wild

00:42:34.300 that

00:42:34.800 aliens always

00:42:38.040 trying to

00:42:39.060 get in

00:42:40.220 everybody's

00:42:40.900 booty and

00:42:41.460 body

00:42:41.840 everybody that

00:42:44.520 gets abducted

00:42:45.120 by aliens

00:42:45.660 they trying to

00:42:46.280 fuck them

00:42:46.680 bro

00:42:46.900 I mean who

00:42:49.760 are they

00:42:50.140 you know

00:42:50.440 what I'm

00:42:50.640 saying

00:42:50.960 are aliens

00:42:53.980 just a bunch

00:42:54.440 of like

00:42:55.000 just dudes

00:42:55.960 like a bunch

00:42:56.460 of drunk

00:42:56.920 dudes in

00:42:57.580 Vegas or

00:42:58.180 something

00:42:58.440 because every

00:43:00.620 time they

00:43:01.020 pick somebody

00:43:01.680 up the

00:43:02.920 first thing

00:43:03.520 they tell

00:43:03.960 people is

00:43:04.500 they try

00:43:04.860 to touch

00:43:05.560 you know

00:43:05.940 you know

00:43:08.400 touch inside

00:43:09.060 their booties

00:43:09.800 and that

00:43:12.900 makes me

00:43:13.280 sad bro

00:43:13.880 but

00:43:14.260 but that's

00:43:16.100 aliens man

00:43:16.860 so do we

00:43:18.880 even want to

00:43:19.360 know these

00:43:19.740 people what

00:43:20.260 if you

00:43:20.540 what if

00:43:21.120 every time

00:43:21.520 you introduce

00:43:22.060 your you

00:43:22.560 know

00:43:22.720 somebody to

00:43:23.660 your friend

00:43:24.160 Amos

00:43:25.660 and Amos

00:43:27.060 try to

00:43:27.400 sneak up

00:43:27.880 in their

00:43:28.180 ass

00:43:28.460 while they

00:43:28.780 doing

00:43:29.000 something

00:43:29.380 you know

00:43:31.120 they at

00:43:31.420 the house

00:43:31.740 they looking

00:43:32.180 for a little

00:43:32.680 you know

00:43:32.940 their car

00:43:33.360 keys and

00:43:33.760 Amos tries

00:43:34.240 to slip

00:43:34.640 in them

00:43:34.900 cheeks

00:43:35.220 bro

00:43:35.520 you'd say

00:43:38.060 hey Amos

00:43:38.680 dude you

00:43:39.240 gotta go

00:43:39.760 home

00:43:40.140 so that's

00:43:43.020 the thing

00:43:43.280 that's

00:43:43.540 aliens

00:43:43.980 that's

00:43:47.360 aliens

00:43:47.740 boy

00:43:48.100 and yeah

00:43:50.280 I don't know

00:43:50.760 if aliens

00:43:51.340 showed up

00:43:51.760 here on

00:43:52.080 earth

00:43:52.340 we're

00:43:52.540 still

00:43:52.780 I mean

00:43:53.240 we're

00:43:57.240 basically

00:43:57.540 probably

00:43:57.820 the

00:43:58.040 Denny's

00:43:58.520 of the

00:43:58.760 galaxy

00:43:59.160 when you

00:44:01.760 think of

00:44:02.080 that

00:44:02.380 nobody's

00:44:04.620 stopping

00:44:04.980 here

00:44:05.140 we got

00:44:05.340 a couple

00:44:05.600 of

00:44:05.800 fucking

00:44:06.240 a couple

00:44:08.540 of gas

00:44:09.140 powered

00:44:09.640 jets

00:44:10.580 that can

00:44:10.940 go

00:44:11.220 you know

00:44:12.260 that travel

00:44:12.920 around

00:44:13.200 like dude

00:44:13.640 they're not

00:44:14.040 they're like

00:44:14.420 what are y'all

00:44:14.840 doing over

00:44:15.620 here with

00:44:15.880 these paper

00:44:16.520 airplanes

00:44:17.180 y'all need

00:44:20.240 to freaking

00:44:20.560 throw a

00:44:21.040 battle-borne

00:44:21.580 battery

00:44:22.000 into one

00:44:22.380 of these

00:44:22.640 things

00:44:23.040 and really

00:44:24.480 see the

00:44:25.020 see the

00:44:26.200 future

00:44:26.560 what else

00:44:28.540 that's all

00:44:28.860 I had man

00:44:29.380 on that

00:44:29.840 so are

00:44:30.940 they real

00:44:31.620 I hope

00:44:34.640 we find

00:44:35.020 out

00:44:35.200 here's the

00:44:35.860 shitty thing

00:44:36.220 what if

00:44:36.460 you don't

00:44:36.640 get to

00:44:36.840 find out

00:44:37.080 in your

00:44:37.320 lifetime

00:44:37.800 oh

00:44:39.460 I mean

00:44:39.860 you won't

00:44:40.240 know

00:44:40.540 but still

00:44:41.040 you'll know

00:44:41.520 towards the

00:44:42.020 end

00:44:42.280 I bet

00:44:43.980 that's a

00:44:44.300 lot of

00:44:44.520 people's

00:44:44.840 last thought

00:44:45.460 man

00:44:45.960 fuck

00:44:46.720 do they

00:44:48.320 have

00:44:48.520 Fritos

00:44:49.160 um

00:44:50.160 they got

00:44:50.700 um

00:44:51.320 they got

00:44:52.780 hostess

00:44:53.340 cakes

00:44:53.840 they got

00:44:54.240 ice cream

00:44:54.880 they got

00:44:55.200 white ice

00:44:55.920 cream

00:44:56.300 they got

00:44:56.640 brown

00:44:57.100 ice cream

00:44:58.060 so

00:45:00.140 uh

00:45:02.640 what else

00:45:03.000 we got

00:45:03.320 here

00:45:03.820 let's take

00:45:05.580 another call

00:45:06.280 right here

00:45:06.960 and then we're

00:45:07.420 gonna get

00:45:07.800 uh

00:45:08.200 into that

00:45:08.660 ps5

00:45:09.220 let's get

00:45:09.540 into that

00:45:09.780 ps5

00:45:10.340 man

00:45:10.680 here we

00:45:10.960 go

00:45:11.120 right here

00:45:11.340 this was

00:45:11.640 the call

00:45:11.900 that came

00:45:12.160 in last

00:45:12.460 week

00:45:12.620 we had

00:45:13.140 a fella

00:45:13.340 named

00:45:13.540 kenny

00:45:13.760 from portland

00:45:14.320 who wanted

00:45:14.720 to help

00:45:15.100 out a

00:45:15.360 single mom

00:45:16.000 uh

00:45:20.360 i had

00:45:21.120 an idea

00:45:21.620 here

00:45:21.980 i have

00:45:22.500 a

00:45:22.740 playstation

00:45:23.280 5

00:45:23.700 that i

00:45:24.020 got

00:45:24.220 from my

00:45:24.640 work

00:45:25.000 uh

00:45:25.720 i'm not

00:45:26.140 really a

00:45:26.580 big gamer

00:45:27.120 but i

00:45:27.780 would like

00:45:28.120 to offer

00:45:28.560 that for

00:45:29.080 one of

00:45:29.400 your

00:45:29.560 struggling

00:45:30.060 single

00:45:30.500 moms

00:45:30.940 so if

00:45:32.160 you have

00:45:32.540 any

00:45:32.740 ladies

00:45:33.080 out there

00:45:33.660 that are

00:45:34.820 trying to

00:45:35.520 make their

00:45:35.860 kid happy

00:45:36.360 on the

00:45:36.640 holiday

00:45:36.940 i have a

00:45:37.840 playstation

00:45:38.320 5 that

00:45:38.920 i'll be

00:45:39.200 willing to

00:45:40.020 donate

00:45:41.480 uh

00:45:42.120 only because

00:45:42.960 your show

00:45:43.580 gives me

00:45:44.340 hours of

00:45:45.360 entertainment

00:45:45.820 throughout the

00:45:46.420 week

00:45:46.720 uh

00:45:47.320 you're very

00:45:47.680 positive

00:45:48.220 i love the

00:45:49.360 things that

00:45:49.780 you have to

00:45:50.180 say and

00:45:50.820 uh

00:45:51.340 gang gang

00:45:52.060 gang brother

00:45:53.380 thank you man

00:45:54.820 you know i

00:45:55.160 needed to hear

00:45:55.640 that again

00:45:56.040 today

00:45:56.480 you know i

00:45:58.300 need constant

00:45:58.860 reminders to

00:45:59.600 put myself

00:46:00.020 in a good

00:46:00.420 place

00:46:00.840 um

00:46:01.480 and we

00:46:02.360 did we

00:46:02.620 had some

00:46:02.940 calls that

00:46:03.400 came in

00:46:03.860 man uh

00:46:04.880 here was uh

00:46:05.980 here was the

00:46:06.820 first one that

00:46:07.360 came in and

00:46:08.060 so i feel like

00:46:08.640 that that's

00:46:09.020 kind of the

00:46:09.440 fairest way to

00:46:10.160 go about it

00:46:10.760 hey this is

00:46:11.520 mike from

00:46:12.140 philadelphia

00:46:13.140 pennsylvania

00:46:13.920 just wanted to

00:46:14.900 say gang gang

00:46:16.540 love everything

00:46:17.160 you're doing

00:46:17.700 appreciate everything

00:46:19.280 you're doing as

00:46:19.940 well um i was

00:46:21.260 just calling i

00:46:21.820 watched your

00:46:22.180 thanks living

00:46:22.760 episode and i

00:46:24.680 heard a gentleman

00:46:25.280 call in saying

00:46:26.780 he was offering

00:46:27.500 up one of those

00:46:28.320 playstation 5

00:46:29.320 hitters to a

00:46:30.680 uh single

00:46:31.300 mother and i

00:46:32.680 just wanted to

00:46:33.180 maybe nominate my

00:46:34.220 my sister she

00:46:35.320 works really hard

00:46:36.100 she has two

00:46:36.680 kids uh

00:46:38.460 ones eight

00:46:39.000 ones ten

00:46:40.140 they're real

00:46:41.440 big in the

00:46:41.880 video games so

00:46:42.640 i thought that

00:46:43.140 would be perfect

00:46:43.780 for them um

00:46:45.580 if you haven't

00:46:47.060 already chosen

00:46:47.620 someone i'd

00:46:48.320 really like you

00:46:48.860 to consider her

00:46:49.660 her name's

00:46:50.200 dana um

00:46:51.640 she lives in

00:46:52.140 maryland with

00:46:52.640 my two nephews

00:46:53.580 and they're

00:46:53.940 they're great

00:46:54.460 kids she's an

00:46:55.740 awesome mom so

00:46:56.580 really appreciate

00:46:57.540 everything you're

00:46:58.160 doing

00:46:58.400 thank you

00:46:59.820 thank you

00:47:00.500 mike i didn't

00:47:00.860 mean to cut

00:47:01.240 you off there

00:47:01.660 man but um

00:47:02.540 yeah we're

00:47:03.340 gonna we'll

00:47:03.980 connect you with

00:47:04.500 kenny and um

00:47:05.440 and you know

00:47:07.540 that's kenny

00:47:08.060 man that's

00:47:09.340 kenny helping

00:47:09.820 out there

00:47:10.280 thinking that

00:47:10.800 he won

00:47:11.220 something at

00:47:11.900 at at a

00:47:13.660 work or

00:47:14.340 however he

00:47:14.900 won it and

00:47:15.900 then he can

00:47:16.260 give it away

00:47:16.820 man that's

00:47:17.280 really beautiful

00:47:17.860 um we just

00:47:19.120 we had some

00:47:19.660 nice calls that

00:47:20.280 came in and

00:47:21.560 i didn't think

00:47:22.140 like man yeah

00:47:22.880 it's kind of a

00:47:23.380 bummer that it's

00:47:24.140 grateful it's

00:47:25.620 grateful that that

00:47:26.560 uh we're able to

00:47:27.620 connect the dots

00:47:28.340 there and help

00:47:29.140 the kiddos get a

00:47:29.760 ps5 um those

00:47:31.560 things are hot

00:47:31.980 commodity bro damn

00:47:33.440 dude somebody

00:47:34.760 be dying of

00:47:35.280 cancer you

00:47:35.740 offering some

00:47:36.280 plasma they

00:47:36.960 say no but

00:47:37.540 you hit them

00:47:37.880 with that

00:47:38.280 ps5 and they

00:47:40.940 want it bro

00:47:41.660 so but i

00:47:43.640 thought hey we

00:47:44.120 could hit a

00:47:44.480 couple of people

00:47:45.000 back and see

00:47:45.780 what else we

00:47:46.280 could do let

00:47:46.780 me um let's

00:47:47.720 see if we can

00:47:48.000 call that guy

00:47:48.620 though dang he's

00:47:49.900 not home uh i

00:47:50.900 was gonna call

00:47:51.400 him in in person

00:47:52.420 and just you know

00:47:53.740 just tell him

00:47:54.440 hello and uh so

00:47:56.420 then what i'm

00:47:56.860 gonna say is this

00:47:57.420 man let's think

00:47:57.980 about this so um

00:47:59.240 what i'm talking

00:48:00.420 about is uh let's

00:48:02.040 hit some other

00:48:02.480 people up we

00:48:03.460 got this call

00:48:04.060 that came in

00:48:04.600 let's hear it

00:48:05.300 hey theo it's

00:48:07.900 west from

00:48:08.320 minneapolis man i

00:48:09.460 uh just listening

00:48:10.820 to this past

00:48:11.440 weekend i heard

00:48:12.180 the guy call in

00:48:13.000 about the ps5 for

00:48:14.380 a single mom and

00:48:15.300 uh i got an

00:48:16.700 excellent single

00:48:17.360 mom that uh

00:48:18.400 she's uh working

00:48:20.580 to get her kid

00:48:21.280 back she has

00:48:21.980 them about half

00:48:22.780 the year right

00:48:23.440 now and she's

00:48:24.120 gonna have them

00:48:24.540 over christmas um

00:48:26.460 she she took me

00:48:27.500 in about two months

00:48:28.300 ago a really good

00:48:29.100 friend man helped

00:48:30.200 me out of a really

00:48:30.900 hard situation

00:48:32.080 help me get on

00:48:33.420 my feet

00:48:33.920 staying there

00:48:35.020 right now

00:48:35.540 she ain't making

00:48:36.420 me pay nothing

00:48:37.160 and man she

00:48:38.840 has a really

00:48:39.380 great kid who

00:48:40.180 was here over

00:48:40.700 thanksgiving and

00:48:41.540 he'll be back for

00:48:42.260 christmas and he's

00:48:43.300 a big gamer and

00:48:44.280 you know she she

00:48:45.680 manages a gas station

00:48:46.920 so she's up there

00:48:47.660 grinding every day

00:48:48.580 but you know it'd

00:48:49.960 be great to give

00:48:50.600 him a great christmas

00:48:52.380 that he can remember

00:48:53.260 amen brother i think

00:48:55.080 we can help out

00:48:55.760 with that um let me

00:48:57.560 give you a buzz right

00:48:58.540 now see what we can

00:49:00.260 do nobody want to

00:49:04.060 answer their phone

00:49:04.600 anymore but i think

00:49:05.260 it's the uh

00:49:05.980 government

00:49:10.260 hello what's up west

00:49:18.600 bro how you living

00:49:19.440 man good who's this

00:49:22.080 this is theo man

00:49:23.040 theo vaughn the

00:49:23.740 comedian oh get out

00:49:26.640 of town man what's

00:49:28.240 going on with you

00:49:29.060 cat daddy what's

00:49:30.120 up brother not

00:49:32.040 much brother's

00:49:32.920 looking for the

00:49:33.480 lord you know me

00:49:34.480 boy amen amen

00:49:36.760 damn dude my

00:49:38.240 buddy said the other

00:49:38.920 day i said dude i'm

00:49:39.680 looking for the lord

00:49:40.440 my buddy said dude

00:49:41.360 the lord ain't lost

00:49:42.600 he's everywhere he's

00:49:47.700 everywhere man how's

00:49:48.400 your day going good

00:49:50.220 man i'm just at work

00:49:51.320 man my boss had me

00:49:52.540 run down to fedex to

00:49:53.860 drop off this package

00:49:54.860 i sell cars man and

00:49:56.280 uh i'm selling a car

00:49:58.100 out of state i had to

00:49:59.020 fedex some papers

00:49:59.960 overnight so i'm on

00:50:01.740 the road right now

00:50:02.640 nice baby uh well

00:50:04.100 thanks for picking up

00:50:04.840 man yeah i appreciate

00:50:05.800 your call man it's

00:50:06.520 really nice of you to

00:50:07.200 call just that you

00:50:07.840 left on the uh hotline

00:50:09.240 uh yeah we'd already

00:50:11.960 found somebody already

00:50:12.940 had called before they

00:50:13.900 got the ps5 but we

00:50:15.440 have uh there's a

00:50:16.920 company that helps us

00:50:17.740 out sometimes this

00:50:18.420 company called magic

00:50:19.140 mind and they wanted

00:50:20.060 to offer uh a ps4 or

00:50:23.420 i think it's a ps4 and

00:50:24.740 a television maybe i

00:50:25.860 don't know if the

00:50:26.220 kiddo would you know

00:50:26.920 if that would be

00:50:27.420 something that they

00:50:27.940 would like man that

00:50:29.920 would be amazing dude

00:50:31.100 you have no idea how

00:50:32.240 awesome you just made

00:50:33.120 my day awesome bro

00:50:35.060 well dude it's nice

00:50:36.440 you to think about

00:50:37.020 somebody else man you

00:50:38.600 know man she helped

00:50:39.560 me out i was in a

00:50:40.480 really bad spot i moved

00:50:41.740 to texas for a year

00:50:42.900 and uh it didn't really

00:50:44.620 work out i had a issue

00:50:46.680 with a roommate that

00:50:48.120 ended up turning violent

00:50:49.800 man i had to leave it

00:50:51.220 was just crazy and she

00:50:53.200 said you know i've

00:50:54.060 never really been in

00:50:54.800 a position to help

00:50:55.640 somebody and i'm in

00:50:56.600 that position now and

00:50:57.700 you're a good friend

00:50:58.900 come on up and she's

00:51:00.080 just been helping me

00:51:00.780 get back on my feet

00:51:01.660 man got a job and

00:51:02.800 she's she's great man

00:51:04.760 she's great you

00:51:05.360 couldn't be going to a

00:51:06.040 nicer person amen

00:51:07.760 bro well that's awesome

00:51:09.340 dude that makes me

00:51:10.240 feel good bro for sure

00:51:12.920 yeah thanks man yeah

00:51:14.160 just thanks for

00:51:14.700 thinking of somebody

00:51:15.320 else and um yeah i'll

00:51:17.500 uh i'll just follow up

00:51:19.180 with you i'll hit you

00:51:19.820 up after or uh the

00:51:21.280 producer sean or nick

00:51:22.320 we'll hit you up

00:51:22.860 after and just get

00:51:23.680 it all set up but

00:51:24.740 yeah i think i can't

00:51:26.440 remember exactly what

00:51:27.480 he donated but i think

00:51:28.460 he donated a ps4 and a

00:51:29.880 television so that's

00:51:31.720 so amazing man i i saw

00:51:33.060 this call coming from

00:51:34.060 louisiana and i was

00:51:35.120 like here comes another

00:51:36.400 motherfucker saying

00:51:37.460 that my car or my my

00:51:38.960 car's warranty needs

00:51:39.960 needs to get uh

00:51:41.260 extended or something

00:51:43.060 bro look that's gonna

00:51:45.560 be the next call baby

00:51:46.720 that's the next call

00:51:47.620 right so yeah actually

00:51:49.900 i want to talk to you

00:51:50.900 right now about your

00:51:51.480 warranty extension west

00:51:52.920 if you have a minute

00:51:53.720 well bro look man

00:51:58.480 keep living the way

00:51:59.460 you're living man i'm

00:52:00.260 proud of you bro and

00:52:00.980 i'm just you know i'm

00:52:01.800 just grateful that you

00:52:02.400 called in man it's cool

00:52:03.340 dude amen man i

00:52:05.740 appreciate you man i

00:52:06.800 listen to you all the

00:52:07.460 time so i really

00:52:08.380 appreciate the call it's

00:52:09.340 so great to hear from

00:52:10.280 you dude you made me

00:52:11.440 feel good man i

00:52:12.120 appreciate it man have

00:52:12.820 a good day dude and

00:52:13.580 we'll circle up with

00:52:14.300 you bro and thanks for

00:52:15.020 thinking of somebody else

00:52:15.960 man awesome peace all

00:52:18.240 right gang damn that

00:52:21.500 hit me in the feelings a

00:52:22.500 little bit man what else

00:52:26.580 can we do here let me

00:52:29.140 see what else we can do

00:52:30.880 here

00:52:31.560 man it's nice even to

00:52:34.940 think about that lady

00:52:35.760 you know it's hard in our

00:52:37.840 lives to reach out and

00:52:39.000 say i can help you

00:52:40.100 especially these days

00:52:43.240 there's so many barriers

00:52:44.320 that get that that get

00:52:45.780 put up you know

00:52:46.800 you know a lot you know

00:52:51.100 i guess as long as i'm

00:52:52.240 safe in my home and i'm

00:52:53.520 in my place and i you

00:52:55.140 know it'll be

00:52:55.800 uncomfortable and just

00:52:56.800 we've gotten so kind of

00:52:58.380 separate sometimes that

00:52:59.980 helping other people used

00:53:04.580 to be kind of i think

00:53:05.440 kind of in more of an

00:53:06.580 innate thing and now

00:53:07.800 it's because we've gotten

00:53:09.600 so solitary it almost

00:53:14.140 feels weird sometimes i

00:53:15.760 think

00:53:16.080 isn't that strange that

00:53:19.760 it feels weird

00:53:20.760 to help somebody to

00:53:25.020 invade in their life

00:53:26.180 and as a society even

00:53:29.840 we're getting more to

00:53:30.480 like oh if you need help

00:53:31.220 go to the government go

00:53:32.220 to the city go to the

00:53:34.480 you know it's no longer

00:53:38.760 like um oh what can i

00:53:41.120 can i help and i think

00:53:44.140 a lot of people do

00:53:44.860 still think that way but

00:53:46.080 i think just as a

00:53:46.820 society we um or not

00:53:49.480 can i help but what how

00:53:50.920 can i help or i don't

00:53:53.620 know i'm not judging

00:53:54.320 anybody i'm not saying

00:53:55.140 that i'm just thinking

00:53:56.520 out loud i'm just um i

00:54:00.360 think i kind of had i

00:54:01.280 felt like i hadn't

00:54:01.680 really done anything

00:54:02.140 nice for somebody in a

00:54:02.940 while and then just

00:54:03.740 thinking about that and

00:54:04.700 and i didn't even do

00:54:05.400 anything you know

00:54:07.220 that's magic mind who

00:54:08.220 hit me up today and

00:54:09.040 said that they wanted

00:54:09.660 to donate and but uh

00:54:12.920 let me see man here

00:54:17.020 we got one let's take

00:54:17.880 it

00:54:18.220 hi theo my name is

00:54:21.040 tim carter um i

00:54:23.100 sincerely just honest

00:54:26.580 to god i really hope

00:54:27.620 you hear this um so i

00:54:31.440 i live in portland

00:54:32.840 oregon and i uh heard

00:54:35.700 kenny call in with his

00:54:37.940 donation of a playstation

00:54:39.520 five and i would like to

00:54:41.000 nominate um a lady that

00:54:43.440 i know uh her name is

00:54:45.340 larissa and she has a

00:54:47.660 seven-year-old daughter

00:54:48.560 named annabelle and um

00:54:51.600 last year right before

00:54:54.540 covid they moved to

00:54:56.520 portland from mcminnville

00:54:57.900 uh to take a new job

00:55:01.040 um the the new job

00:55:03.660 opportunity almost

00:55:04.620 immediately didn't work

00:55:05.620 out once she got here

00:55:06.720 covid set in and she

00:55:08.740 actually had to become

00:55:09.640 like a full-time uber and

00:55:11.300 lyft driver i figure let's

00:55:12.900 call in right now and see

00:55:13.940 what we can do

00:55:14.620 loud

00:55:17.640 hello

00:55:21.440 hey what's up man this

00:55:23.540 is theo von brah uh i'm

00:55:25.540 calling just about you

00:55:26.680 called a couple um a

00:55:29.300 couple days ago about

00:55:30.360 the uh about the podcast

00:55:32.220 about the we're talking

00:55:33.360 about the playstation

00:55:34.240 yes sir my gosh i wow how

00:55:38.900 are you thank you so much

00:55:40.000 for calling oh i'm doing

00:55:41.240 good man tim is this tim

00:55:42.920 this is tim yes thank you

00:55:45.180 oh yeah man no worries

00:55:46.580 man thank you for calling

00:55:47.440 bro uh yeah i just

00:55:49.200 appreciate it man i thought

00:55:50.120 your message was really

00:55:51.220 nice and um you know i

00:55:52.800 just thought you know

00:55:53.560 thanks for even checking

00:55:54.800 out the podcast and for

00:55:55.840 you know just thinking

00:55:56.760 about somebody else uh

00:55:58.040 especially this time of

00:55:59.420 year um we i just um

00:56:02.280 before i forget because i

00:56:04.100 i just think that you're

00:56:05.940 probably pound for pound

00:56:07.220 the i i don't want to i

00:56:10.960 hopefully you won't take

00:56:11.720 this the wrong way but i

00:56:12.460 think that you're so

00:56:13.140 underrated dude i i just

00:56:14.560 think you just how you are

00:56:16.880 and the things that you do

00:56:17.860 and the things that you say

00:56:18.740 there could never be a

00:56:20.100 another character or

00:56:22.020 comedian or just

00:56:23.300 entertainer like you you

00:56:24.680 are so unique and i

00:56:25.860 appreciate you so much so

00:56:27.460 i just wanted to get that

00:56:28.360 out of the way first of

00:56:29.420 all thanks bro well it's

00:56:31.840 nice of you to say man

00:56:32.520 yeah you know it's funny

00:56:33.220 when you say that just now

00:56:34.180 i think there's something

00:56:35.000 about if somebody says that

00:56:37.140 you're unique like i think

00:56:38.220 in my life i just want to

00:56:39.320 be unique i think we all

00:56:40.540 want to you know uh but i

00:56:43.460 think i've always had some

00:56:44.360 weird obsession with it i

00:56:45.720 think um but that's really

00:56:48.000 kind of you to say that

00:56:48.840 man that's very

00:56:49.940 thoughtful uh my pleasure

00:56:52.040 yeah dude so we gave

00:56:53.520 away the playstation

00:56:54.520 somebody else had called

00:56:55.440 before you but we wanted

00:56:56.520 to we want to do

00:56:57.360 something nice so i'm

00:56:59.000 trying to think what do

00:56:59.780 you think we could do i

00:57:00.800 mean we we you know we

00:57:02.700 could give uh what what do

00:57:04.960 you think she could use

00:57:06.120 you know um when i think

00:57:12.520 of her i i kind of think

00:57:14.840 of just the difficulties

00:57:16.420 that she's gone through

00:57:17.540 in this transition and

00:57:19.720 probably the what i would

00:57:21.700 think about more is

00:57:22.680 probably just her little

00:57:23.620 daughter her little

00:57:24.800 daughter wants to be um

00:57:26.480 a youtube sensation so

00:57:29.400 bad she likes to play this

00:57:30.840 game called roblox and she

00:57:32.160 likes to make her own

00:57:32.880 little videos and she's

00:57:34.540 very enthusiastic and

00:57:35.600 everything and of course

00:57:36.480 her being a single mom you

00:57:37.540 know she's been home uh

00:57:39.200 during covid for like the

00:57:40.600 last however long seven

00:57:42.100 eight months and she just

00:57:43.880 moved up here and had

00:57:46.060 just to give you a super

00:57:48.960 super short backstory so

00:57:50.460 she was when i met her

00:57:51.800 she was going through

00:57:52.800 some uh sexual harassment

00:57:54.420 turmoil in her work and

00:57:56.340 so um i i kind of gave her

00:57:58.780 a little bit of money a

00:57:59.620 little bit of momentum to

00:58:00.980 to come to portland and

00:58:02.500 then when she moved she

00:58:03.440 dropped everything to come

00:58:04.960 up here and take a job and

00:58:07.260 then covid hit and they

00:58:08.400 weren't able to offer her

00:58:09.240 the position so um so yeah

00:58:13.140 i mean it just hasn't i

00:58:15.180 know it's such a hard

00:58:16.000 question i i don't know

00:58:17.140 what yeah and it might

00:58:18.680 have been a little too

00:58:19.460 uh you know it might be

00:58:21.360 too open-ended or

00:58:22.460 something i don't know

00:58:23.180 what they call a question

00:58:24.040 that like you you know

00:58:25.240 it's just too vague but

00:58:26.500 um so let me think man so

00:58:28.460 i'm thinking you know why

00:58:30.380 don't we we'll set what

00:58:32.440 maybe we could just at

00:58:33.240 least set you guys up with

00:58:34.260 like a gift card or

00:58:35.500 something maybe to best

00:58:36.740 buy or to some other

00:58:37.840 place where if she wants

00:58:39.480 to get like a you know a

00:58:42.320 youtube cam or something

00:58:43.800 like you know i i don't

00:58:44.820 know maybe i don't know

00:58:46.700 what some of the cameras

00:58:47.480 are called but nick will

00:58:48.720 know man so why don't we

00:58:50.740 um why don't we set you

00:58:52.840 guys up with a 500 gift

00:58:54.280 card to uh to a place that

00:58:56.280 could be helpful and i'll

00:58:57.720 have nick or sean call and

00:58:59.480 uh and you can just give us

00:59:01.560 her information and um and

00:59:04.020 we'll go from there wow

00:59:06.460 you know i just i just

00:59:08.260 don't know what to say

00:59:09.060 man i just i wasn't

00:59:10.300 expecting this at all and

00:59:11.800 i think that's a great

00:59:12.920 idea and i think yeah

00:59:13.960 that's just open-ended and

00:59:15.040 she can do with it you

00:59:16.820 know and that'll be just

00:59:17.740 such a great christmas this

00:59:19.000 is her first christmas in

00:59:20.000 portland and that'll oh

00:59:21.100 that'll just be so awesome

00:59:22.500 so awesome thank you man

00:59:24.600 thank you bro you know i

00:59:25.960 don't know i don't know

00:59:26.680 these people but it's just

00:59:27.640 you know it's your own

00:59:28.400 kindness and your own

00:59:29.160 thinking about somebody else

00:59:30.260 and um you know it's

00:59:32.680 funny that guy calls and

00:59:33.820 he offers a playstation and

00:59:34.880 i wasn't even thinking

00:59:35.520 today like oh let's

00:59:36.340 think of ways we can do

00:59:37.420 things or give out

00:59:38.440 anything and uh and it

00:59:40.460 just kind of it's funny

00:59:41.260 how one thing like that

00:59:42.340 kind of spurns the other

00:59:43.440 ones you know well and i

00:59:45.840 was worried too like when

00:59:47.040 i listened to the episode

00:59:48.060 and first of all i think

00:59:49.100 that was also the robert

00:59:49.940 finley episode and my dad

00:59:51.300 loved that song but um

00:59:53.220 quick side note there

00:59:54.000 yeah that's a good song

00:59:55.160 dude you gotta take

00:59:56.400 but i think um i was

01:00:00.480 worried that maybe you

01:00:01.680 know everybody was gonna

01:00:02.540 call in and maybe

01:00:03.720 somebody like me would

01:00:05.140 call and you think oh

01:00:05.960 this guy just wants the

01:00:06.800 playstation for himself or

01:00:08.060 whatever so i'm glad that

01:00:09.820 the the phone call came

01:00:11.040 across as sincere

01:00:12.040 yeah no it did i thought

01:00:13.460 it for a second but then i

01:00:14.360 quit thinking it man but

01:00:15.220 that's just that's just

01:00:16.420 something inside of me that

01:00:17.540 always wants to think the

01:00:18.480 devil first you know

01:00:19.520 well cool man well look i

01:00:21.380 think it's a thoughtful

01:00:22.120 gesture and uh i'm glad

01:00:23.700 that we could be a part of

01:00:24.580 it man and um yeah i'll

01:00:25.880 have the guys follow up and

01:00:26.860 merry christmas bro

01:00:27.700 and you just pass it on to

01:00:29.000 her and just let her know

01:00:29.800 that uh just that people

01:00:30.680 are thinking about her even

01:00:31.580 if sometimes she feels

01:00:32.440 like maybe people aren't

01:00:33.380 or maybe she doesn't feel

01:00:34.580 that way at all but just

01:00:35.500 let her know people are

01:00:36.080 always thinking of her

01:00:36.940 my god zio and you have a

01:00:39.920 great christmas man god

01:00:40.980 bless you and yeah keep

01:00:42.520 keep pushing man because

01:00:43.780 you're gonna you're gonna

01:00:44.560 get to that bill burr

01:00:45.760 level you're just uh once

01:00:47.380 people see you man once

01:00:48.340 enough people see you

01:00:49.160 it's the sky's the limit

01:00:51.060 for your talent i just know

01:00:52.180 it well thanks bro i

01:00:53.820 appreciate it man it's

01:00:54.920 been uh even in a rough

01:00:56.820 year it's been an okay

01:00:57.720 year man and i'm grateful

01:00:58.860 to have the podcast and

01:01:00.000 just to have you know to

01:01:00.920 know that there's other

01:01:01.540 people out there that

01:01:02.380 are um you know that

01:01:04.460 just as a group we don't

01:01:05.340 give up you know we keep

01:01:06.660 uh just trying our best

01:01:07.820 so all right gang tim

01:01:09.400 bro be good man

01:01:10.480 okay thank you all right

01:01:13.460 cheers brother

01:01:14.300 man that was nice of him

01:01:17.460 man that was nice that's

01:01:19.180 cool you know because

01:01:20.780 now in my head i picture

01:01:21.800 maybe she gets a little

01:01:22.760 money she does something

01:01:23.800 kind of fun something

01:01:24.880 extra just some little

01:01:25.900 thing maybe she wasn't

01:01:26.940 thinking maybe she's

01:01:29.040 gonna get a little

01:01:29.520 breakfast you know my mom

01:01:30.520 used to like uh she

01:01:32.460 would do something like

01:01:33.280 a nice pancake breakfast

01:01:34.680 but we had this gas

01:01:37.440 powered skillet this

01:01:38.440 thing was limited time

01:01:40.760 they sold it and uh and

01:01:44.380 it burned a hole in the um

01:01:45.900 in the table one year but

01:01:50.540 uh what else do we have

01:01:51.680 man um

01:01:52.900 let me see what this call

01:01:59.320 hi theo this is suzy again

01:02:02.400 um i called you earlier i

01:02:03.920 left a message um i'm um

01:02:06.660 single mom i have been

01:02:09.580 looking for this ps5

01:02:11.940 everywhere um i'm from

01:02:13.920 michigan and i'm trying to

01:02:15.900 get it for my daughter for

01:02:16.940 christmas um she's been

01:02:18.640 doing really good in school

01:02:20.080 she's remotely completing

01:02:21.780 high school online right

01:02:22.980 now and it's been

01:02:23.640 challenging but i'm very

01:02:24.800 proud of her she's been

01:02:26.520 doing great here in

01:02:28.180 michigan we've been shut

01:02:29.360 down because of the rona

01:02:30.700 mm-hmm i feel you baby

01:02:32.380 that dirty rona bro

01:02:34.480 that's that long aids baby

01:02:37.920 let me call you see what

01:02:39.820 we can do

01:02:40.360 hello hey what's up who's

01:02:56.840 this hey it's suzy what up

01:03:02.040 suzy what are you doing just

01:03:08.380 chilling i'm just what am i

01:03:09.560 doing not much just drink

01:03:11.000 some water just um making

01:03:13.280 some phone calls doing some

01:03:14.360 podcasting what are you up

01:03:15.380 to oh my gosh i'm actually

01:03:18.100 cooking dinner cooking dinner

01:03:20.100 for the family oh nice what

01:03:21.820 are y'all having

01:03:22.400 mara mara see y'all on the

01:03:24.940 phone uh we made some we

01:03:27.920 made raviolis green beans

01:03:31.200 and damn beans and marinara

01:03:35.660 sauce damn y'all must be rich

01:03:37.640 huh no that sounds good are

01:03:41.800 you a good cook

01:03:42.540 um pretty good i like to

01:03:46.240 cook there we go um i want to

01:03:49.580 thank you first of all just for

01:03:50.520 for thinking of somebody else and

01:03:51.960 just you know calling and

01:03:52.960 leaving your voicemail um or not

01:03:56.040 really thinking with somebody

01:03:56.820 else but i'm just thinking of

01:03:57.900 your of your daughter and uh

01:04:00.120 you know i thought it was really

01:04:02.800 sweet of you um the problem is we

01:04:05.560 already gave away the ps5 but i

01:04:07.020 wanted to try and think of

01:04:07.900 something else that we could do

01:04:09.720 that you think would be nice

01:04:11.980 oh my god i don't even know what

01:04:17.160 to say

01:04:17.860 um she's still upstairs by the way

01:04:22.520 um how about this i know it's kind

01:04:26.020 of impersonal but what if we just

01:04:27.260 gave you like a 500 gift card and

01:04:28.700 you could do something nice for you

01:04:30.260 guys something that you wanted to do

01:04:31.720 i know it's not a ps5 but um

01:04:36.320 no i appreciate it so much

01:04:40.020 we've we've been struggling i mean i

01:04:43.260 try to you know you know my attitude

01:04:45.740 is always positive but you know i'm

01:04:49.040 i've been job searching i mean it's

01:04:52.080 tricky out there and look i'll trade

01:04:53.720 from you just to hear from you is just

01:04:56.400 just wow well that's sweet of you

01:05:02.860 thanks you know that makes me feel

01:05:04.580 nice you know uh but to hear from you

01:05:06.760 was nice you know uh you know and just

01:05:09.740 to call and you know um i just i'm

01:05:13.400 grateful you guys that you guys listen

01:05:14.660 to listen to the podcast and just are

01:05:16.740 a part of this group and anyway yeah

01:05:19.220 let me do that let me have uh i'll

01:05:21.240 have nick or sean follow up with you

01:05:23.700 oh thank you so much feel that the

01:05:28.040 ps5 has been just crazy that's what i

01:05:30.980 hear

01:05:31.380 that's what i hear

01:05:33.200 look like for christmas and i'm like

01:05:37.740 oh my god i can't believe anybody can

01:05:39.500 even afford those things those things

01:05:40.900 are like 900 bones man um and yeah my

01:05:45.820 family we were gonna you know you know

01:05:48.060 you know how kids when they want

01:05:49.580 something you got to pull through

01:05:50.800 whatever they were gonna give me a

01:05:52.520 couple hundred on it or whatever but

01:05:54.100 you can't even get a hold of it yeah

01:05:55.920 that's the thing because we thought

01:05:57.580 well maybe we'll buy something try to

01:05:58.740 so um yeah so yeah we'd be happy to

01:06:02.200 help out in that sense and uh yeah

01:06:04.360 just thank you just thank you for

01:06:05.820 making my day and thanks for the nice

01:06:07.140 words

01:06:07.620 thank you thank you so much

01:06:11.480 merry christmas to you your family

01:06:13.180 like i love your podcast i can't wait

01:06:15.680 to hear the next one oh my god i don't

01:06:17.020 even know wow thank you for the phone

01:06:19.680 call yeah y'all enjoy the raviolis and

01:06:21.960 uh you're welcome suji

01:06:23.400 for sure for sure thank you you bet we

01:06:27.760 love you bye-bye

01:06:28.780 that's cool man making a little dinner

01:06:32.660 you know that's always nice you know

01:06:34.560 when i was a kid we always made dinner

01:06:36.360 my mom was always working so you know

01:06:38.520 we would always take turns making

01:06:39.860 dinner man and we would always act like

01:06:42.220 it was something different but it was

01:06:43.440 always macaroni

01:06:44.680 i mean i think it was macaroni for like

01:06:48.680 1600 nights in a row like it was

01:06:51.000 always macaroni

01:06:53.280 sometimes we get a can of maybe some

01:06:55.100 sliced pears or something like that in

01:06:56.940 their natural juice

01:06:57.900 all right let's take one more call right

01:06:59.960 here um thank you so much

01:07:01.960 hey teo my name's caroline i'm from

01:07:05.780 gastrillion north carolina right outside

01:07:07.820 of charlotte

01:07:08.440 um i'm a huge fan of this past weekend

01:07:13.720 and also king and the sting

01:07:15.540 thank you so much thank you so much for

01:07:18.420 those nice words

01:07:19.260 my nephew was diagnosed with cancer

01:07:22.400 like a year and a half ago and it was

01:07:26.280 more this year like quarantine and stuff

01:07:28.380 when i started getting into your podcast

01:07:31.080 and um king and the sting but i would like

01:07:35.400 to look forward to new episodes all the

01:07:37.980 time like i was just so sad

01:07:40.040 and it really gave me something to look

01:07:43.980 forward to

01:07:44.580 uh thank you

01:07:46.300 you know it's funny how uh we all find

01:07:50.580 kind of solace in different things you

01:07:52.380 know some people they want to listen to

01:07:53.780 something

01:07:54.060 some people you know like a song we're

01:07:57.200 saying earlier it does something to you

01:07:59.020 some people they you know you want to

01:08:01.180 put your hands in a mitten or something

01:08:02.520 i used to have when i was young this

01:08:03.840 i got a doormat from somewhere and i put

01:08:07.360 it in my room

01:08:08.300 so it was near the floor in my room by

01:08:10.900 the door

01:08:11.440 when you were leaving my room had a

01:08:14.040 doormat

01:08:14.580 and sometimes when i was sad i'd go put

01:08:16.820 my hands under it

01:08:17.860 for some reason and just sit there with

01:08:20.880 my hands under that doormat

01:08:22.240 and just i felt okay let's hear more

01:08:26.900 um but i was just listening to your

01:08:29.460 podcast and i heard about the um

01:08:32.120 the guy that has the playstation he was

01:08:35.540 wanting to donate and um i my sister

01:08:39.420 um so my sister is 10 years older than

01:08:43.560 me but um she has two kids and her

01:08:46.820 oldest son adam he just passed away in

01:08:49.300 october from cancer um he was 16 and

01:08:53.240 then she has a younger son andrew and um

01:08:57.960 he will be 15 uh in the summer so um

01:09:03.200 he just lost his brother and i know she

01:09:06.600 was trying to find like something like

01:09:10.140 that like the new xbox or the new

01:09:11.920 playstation to give to him for christmas

01:09:14.040 that would kind of be special but

01:09:15.680 well thank you so much for this uh

01:09:19.220 let's um let me see if i can get a hold

01:09:23.480 of you

01:09:23.800 hey caroline

01:09:25.220 hello

01:09:26.640 hey what's up this is theo i'll call you

01:09:28.980 called uh into the podcast the other day

01:09:30.740 from the podcast

01:09:31.600 oh my god yes

01:09:33.900 how are you

01:09:34.980 holy shit

01:09:35.820 how are you

01:09:36.640 i'm laying on my floor right now

01:09:38.340 freaking out

01:09:39.520 oh damn well look just

01:09:41.900 you know what i'm saying keep your clothes

01:09:43.840 on us already i don't want to get

01:09:44.660 accused of nothing you know

01:09:46.040 oh my god i was literally just

01:09:50.420 talking about you

01:09:51.480 to my friend i was

01:09:53.120 i'm like speechless right now i was

01:09:56.580 literally just talking about you i was

01:09:58.100 like i don't even listen to music

01:09:59.620 anymore

01:10:00.060 i just listen to

01:10:01.580 you know von in my car and smile and

01:10:03.860 just drive around

01:10:04.740 damn

01:10:05.340 like 20 minutes ago

01:10:06.980 and now i listen to your voicemail and

01:10:09.120 now i can my face is like pulsating

01:10:11.300 damn well you you might be on drugs i

01:10:15.440 think damn

01:10:16.100 i'm not

01:10:17.000 i feel like i am but i'm not

01:10:19.800 okay well look it sound like

01:10:21.380 if your damn face is pulsating you

01:10:24.060 might want to g up a little bit you

01:10:25.700 might want to

01:10:26.140 you know you might want to use a

01:10:27.780 skin softener or something

01:10:29.340 um

01:10:32.380 no i just wanted to say your message

01:10:34.520 was so sweet i thought it was very

01:10:35.760 nice of you to call and uh

01:10:37.240 yeah we wanted to think of something

01:10:38.500 nice we could do because

01:10:39.440 we already gave away the playstation

01:10:41.060 so i'm just trying to think of

01:10:41.880 something else fun that we could do

01:10:43.060 so

01:10:43.360 we're committed i think playstations

01:10:45.460 are just all sold out so we're

01:10:46.840 committed to help find like a um

01:10:48.580 xbox do you think the kids would

01:10:50.660 want that or do you think we should

01:10:51.920 just wait and

01:10:52.640 whenever playstations come back

01:10:54.780 he

01:10:56.080 would

01:10:57.140 prefer an xbox

01:10:58.600 over the playstation

01:10:59.840 good

01:11:00.100 i just heard that guy say playstation

01:11:02.220 i was like you know what i'm gonna

01:11:03.600 call

01:11:04.060 sitting in my driveway listening to

01:11:06.600 this

01:11:06.920 i've never called in a simon video

01:11:09.760 or anything

01:11:10.680 well thank you

01:11:11.760 thanks for calling

01:11:12.940 thank you but

01:11:15.160 you know he would prefer

01:11:16.900 he's like a big

01:11:18.340 gamer so he's like

01:11:20.100 plays on his computer

01:11:22.340 but he's been wanting the xbox

01:11:24.140 so bad but then when i heard that

01:11:25.840 i was like oh my god like

01:11:26.960 playstation

01:11:28.520 whatever i don't

01:11:29.780 i don't even know the difference

01:11:31.060 between

01:11:31.360 totally

01:11:31.680 but i did

01:11:32.380 that he um

01:11:34.580 if he got an xbox

01:11:36.740 he would

01:11:37.180 poop in his pants

01:11:38.740 well damn

01:11:39.940 y'all's whole family need to

01:11:40.940 tighten up it sounds like

01:11:42.020 but uh

01:11:42.580 we do

01:11:43.080 we're going through stuff

01:11:44.920 but that's okay look

01:11:46.400 loosen up or tighten up

01:11:47.760 that's what they say man

01:11:48.720 i do both

01:11:49.340 sometimes

01:11:50.040 oh my god

01:11:53.180 this is so crazy

01:11:54.340 but look

01:11:55.060 we want to uh

01:11:56.680 yeah we'd love to

01:11:57.340 so whether it's

01:11:58.060 you know i'll have one of the

01:11:58.900 producers circle up with you

01:11:59.960 and then we'll figure out if you know

01:12:01.260 what you guys want to do for him

01:12:03.260 if it's a

01:12:03.980 console

01:12:04.680 or if we

01:12:05.600 you know he wants games

01:12:06.880 i don't know you know

01:12:07.780 it's sweet of you to think of your

01:12:09.260 of your nephew

01:12:09.920 and we want to

01:12:10.700 be a part of just uh

01:12:12.140 you know making christmas a little bit

01:12:13.720 you know just do whatever we can to help out

01:12:15.520 so

01:12:15.880 there you go

01:12:18.080 thank you ceo

01:12:20.400 holy shit

01:12:21.400 well i love you over there

01:12:22.800 i love you too

01:12:24.860 all right y'all be good

01:12:26.220 all right

01:12:26.500 stay off them percocets girl

01:12:27.800 you know it

01:12:28.500 okay i will

01:12:30.460 okay deal

01:12:31.640 deal deal

01:12:32.420 and i will too

01:12:33.240 okay

01:12:34.820 okay good

01:12:35.700 okay deal

01:12:36.640 bye

01:12:38.640 oh man that's great

01:12:42.180 that's sweet

01:12:43.840 all right i think we had uh

01:12:45.560 you know

01:12:45.820 just a fun enough episode

01:12:47.800 um

01:12:49.600 i'm really excited to announce

01:12:52.300 that on

01:12:53.280 this

01:12:53.880 oh january

01:12:55.440 january

01:13:00.120 15th

01:13:01.760 at 7

01:13:02.940 p.m

01:13:04.640 at

01:13:04.960 at

01:13:05.660 6 p.m pacific time

01:13:07.720 8 p.m central

01:13:09.060 uh

01:13:11.180 theo and tammy

01:13:12.900 who is chelsea lynn

01:13:13.940 she came on the podcast

01:13:14.800 a while back

01:13:15.200 we're going to be doing

01:13:15.880 a live

01:13:16.800 event

01:13:17.540 um

01:13:19.000 it's gonna have sketches

01:13:20.020 it's gonna have musical guests

01:13:21.960 um

01:13:23.200 i'm nervous about it

01:13:25.340 i've never done no sketches

01:13:26.760 like that

01:13:27.340 but i am excited about it

01:13:29.300 at the same time

01:13:29.860 i'm just trying to be brave

01:13:30.960 so

01:13:32.040 you know

01:13:33.820 we'll see what it is

01:13:34.780 and what it ain't

01:13:35.520 but

01:13:36.560 it's new times

01:13:39.200 man

01:13:39.540 things you can

01:13:40.120 you can watch things live

01:13:41.240 you could be

01:13:41.600 you'll be able to buy a ticket

01:13:42.540 to it

01:13:43.000 i think the tickets are

01:13:44.080 ten dollars

01:13:44.760 um

01:13:45.780 it's gonna be really neat

01:13:46.880 we're putting a lot

01:13:47.920 into the production

01:13:48.680 as much as we can

01:13:49.840 i mean it's gonna be

01:13:51.660 oh lord

01:13:53.740 i mean they are wild

01:13:54.860 and little jim is there

01:13:56.520 and he's beautiful

01:13:57.120 little just

01:13:57.740 just a damn

01:13:58.960 just a little thick

01:13:59.780 little sugar termite

01:14:01.340 bro

01:14:01.560 and he's beautiful

01:14:02.220 just one of god's damn bunions

01:14:04.880 this little fella

01:14:05.640 this little crispy cracker

01:14:07.720 and

01:14:07.880 uh

01:14:09.320 but it's anyway

01:14:09.920 it's gonna be a lot of fun

01:14:10.840 and so i hope you will join us

01:14:12.100 that night

01:14:12.560 and check it out

01:14:13.620 if you have a talent

01:14:15.080 or don't have a talent

01:14:16.820 um

01:14:17.880 keep tabs on the

01:14:20.420 this past weekend

01:14:21.220 uh instagram

01:14:21.980 we're gonna be uh

01:14:23.040 accepting talent

01:14:24.040 and talented and untalented people

01:14:25.920 because the show that we're putting on

01:14:27.480 is a belated

01:14:28.240 christmas

01:14:29.820 talent

01:14:30.900 extravaganza

01:14:31.900 that's what it's gonna be

01:14:33.060 and that's gonna be on

01:14:33.800 january 15th

01:14:35.900 so

01:14:36.760 uh

01:14:37.780 be there

01:14:38.320 be there

01:14:39.760 it's gonna be cool

01:14:40.660 um

01:14:41.980 what else man

01:14:43.580 that's really it

01:14:44.320 you know

01:14:44.860 we're heading into the holidays

01:14:46.200 um

01:14:47.900 and it's a weird year

01:14:50.820 to go into the holidays

01:14:51.640 it feels

01:14:52.460 strange

01:14:53.360 you know

01:14:55.220 there's not as many places

01:14:56.280 you can go

01:14:56.880 where the decorations

01:14:57.720 are up

01:14:58.440 and

01:14:58.680 some cities and towns

01:15:01.260 aren't doing

01:15:01.620 you know

01:15:01.840 even putting up

01:15:02.460 putting up any decorations

01:15:03.500 it's just a weird year

01:15:04.280 uh

01:15:05.100 but we still got each other baby

01:15:08.080 you know

01:15:10.060 and even on tough days

01:15:11.140 man i know that

01:15:11.760 that's the right

01:15:12.500 thing

01:15:13.620 is not to give up

01:15:16.320 on the people around us

01:15:17.620 because they want us to

01:15:19.880 out there

01:15:20.220 they want us to fight

01:15:21.060 they want us to hate

01:15:21.980 you know

01:15:23.060 they don't want me

01:15:25.560 to go to a black doctor

01:15:26.960 they don't want me

01:15:27.600 to go to a

01:15:28.220 uh

01:15:28.580 to a um

01:15:30.680 middle eastern

01:15:32.180 uh

01:15:33.060 chiropractor

01:15:34.920 you know

01:15:36.560 we just got to keep

01:15:39.940 just

01:15:40.320 we got to just keep

01:15:44.160 connecting man

01:15:44.840 that's all it is

01:15:45.740 that's all it is

01:15:47.900 baby

01:15:48.160 um

01:15:49.580 you know

01:15:51.400 and here and there

01:15:51.900 we find comfort

01:15:52.940 and i want you guys

01:15:56.920 to be good to yourselves

01:15:57.780 man you deserve it

01:15:58.680 and thank you guys

01:15:59.240 so much for

01:15:59.760 loving me

01:16:00.380 and being a part

01:16:01.580 of my life this year

01:16:02.400 i'm gonna play

01:16:03.420 this same song

01:16:04.080 on the way out

01:16:04.520 that we came in

01:16:05.420 baby

01:16:05.660 uh

01:16:06.600 larry fleets

01:16:07.800 where i find god

01:16:09.840 you guys be good

01:16:15.080 to yourselves man

01:16:15.900 the night i hit rock bottom

01:16:29.680 sitting on an old bar store

01:16:33.420 he paid my tab

01:16:35.840 and put me in a cab

01:16:37.340 but he didn't have to

01:16:40.360 cause he could see

01:16:42.060 i was hurting

01:16:43.640 oh i wish i'd got his name

01:16:48.840 cause i didn't feel

01:16:52.740 worth saving

01:16:54.000 but he saved me

01:16:57.940 just the same

01:16:59.080 come on now

01:17:00.360 love you guys

01:17:14.300 love you guys

01:17:24.300 saying son just be still

01:17:27.180 so you can't find peace

01:17:31.440 like this

01:17:32.500 in a bottle or a pill

01:17:37.280 from a barter school

01:17:41.700 to that living room

01:17:43.420 sunday morning

01:17:45.500 in a church pew

01:17:46.960 in a deer stand

01:17:49.100 or a hayfield

01:17:50.360 an interstate back to nashville

01:17:53.780 a chevulet with the windows down

01:17:57.360 me and him

01:17:59.300 just riding around

01:18:00.940 sometimes

01:18:02.520 whether i'm looking for him

01:18:06.480 that's where i find god

01:18:11.260 come on larry

01:18:14.260 come on larry

01:18:16.400 sometimes late at night

01:18:19.400 i lie there and listen

01:18:22.780 to the sound of her heart beating

01:18:26.400 and a song of crickets are singing

01:18:29.680 i don't know what they're saying

01:18:33.400 but it sounds like a hymn to me

01:18:38.440 no i ain't too good at praying

01:18:43.640 but thanks for everything

01:18:48.420 come on larry

01:18:49.600 come on larry

01:18:50.540 from a barstool

01:18:53.000 to the living room

01:18:54.700 sunday morning

01:18:56.800 in a church pew

01:18:58.240 in a deer stand

01:19:00.420 or a hayfield

01:19:01.660 an interstate back to nashville

01:19:05.100 a chevulet

01:19:06.840 with the windows down

01:19:08.700 me and him

01:19:10.620 just riding around

01:19:12.160 sometimes

01:19:13.620 whether i'm looking for him

01:19:17.820 come on larry

01:19:25.080 do they have skittles

01:19:26.840 oh they have skittles

01:19:28.480 barstool

01:19:29.700 to the living room

01:19:31.740 sunday morning

01:19:33.300 in a church pew

01:19:34.800 in a deer stand

01:19:36.920 or a hayfield

01:19:38.200 an interstate

01:19:39.920 back to nashville

01:19:41.660 a chevulet

01:19:43.420 with the windows down

01:19:45.300 me and him

01:19:47.060 just riding around

01:19:49.140 talking

01:19:49.820 well i do that a lot

01:19:55.140 well i do that a lot

01:20:00.880 that's where i find god

01:20:04.360 amen

01:20:08.160 amen baby

01:20:17.940 yeah

01:20:20.240 we got this

01:20:23.920 everything's gonna be okay

01:20:26.000 you guys be good to yourselves

01:20:27.040 man

01:20:27.380 okay

01:20:27.740 ladies and gentlemen

01:20:29.680 i'm jonathan kite

01:20:30.860 and welcome to kite club

01:20:32.220 a podcast

01:20:33.120 where i'll be sharing thoughts

01:20:34.440 on things like

01:20:35.140 current events

01:20:35.860 stand-up stories

01:20:37.080 and seven ways

01:20:38.180 to pleasure your partner

01:20:39.400 the answer may shock you

01:20:41.460 sometimes i'll interview my friends

01:20:43.320 sometimes i won't

01:20:44.660 and as always

01:20:46.180 i'll be joined by the voices in my head

01:20:48.140 you have

01:20:49.020 three new voice messages

01:20:51.000 a lot of people are talking about kite club

01:20:54.040 i've been talking about kite club

01:20:56.020 for so long

01:20:56.820 longer than anybody else

01:20:58.460 so great

01:20:59.260 hey

01:21:00.260 sweet

01:21:00.820 here's a deal

01:21:02.300 anyone who doesn't listen to kite club

01:21:04.760 is a dodgy bloody wanker

01:21:06.800 jermaine

01:21:07.520 i'll take a quarter pounder with cheese

01:21:10.800 and a mcflurry

01:21:11.840 sorry sir but our ice cream machine is broken

01:21:13.680 i think tom hanks just butt dialed me

01:21:18.620 anyway

01:21:19.080 first rule of kite club is

01:21:21.040 tell everyone about kite club

01:21:22.760 second rule of kite club is

01:21:24.680 tell everyone about kite club

01:21:26.940 third rule

01:21:27.700 like and subscribe

01:21:28.780 wherever you listen to podcasts

01:21:30.340 or watch us on youtube

01:21:32.080 yeah

01:21:32.520 and yes

01:21:33.400 don't worry

01:21:33.980 my brad pitt impression

01:21:35.220 will get better

This Past Weekend with Theo Von - December 12, 2020

E312 Third Place Babies

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