This Past Weekend with Theo Von - E354 Jeff Wittek

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00:00:20.080 Today's guest is a barber-turned-criminal-turned-entrepreneur, and he was kind of turning, keeping all those plates turning at the same time.

00:00:38.500 He's a YouTube personality. He's an entertainer. He's fascinating to me, and I'm really grateful to have him in here today to learn more about him

00:00:47.180 and to spend some time, Mr. Jeff Wittick.

00:00:51.560 For me to set that parking brake and let myself unwind

00:00:56.860 Shine that light on me

00:01:00.800 I'll sit and tell you my stories

00:01:06.800 Shine on me

00:01:11.500 And I will find a song

00:01:15.700 I've been singing just for me

00:01:19.380 And now I've been moving

00:01:25.380 What kind of fitness do you like to do, honestly?

00:01:30.760 I do it all. I do a little bit of everything. I'll just make something up. I'll fucking run through this wall

00:01:35.060 Right now. Looks like a pretty sturdy wall. Test it out 0.99

00:01:38.740 Yeah, I bet it would take you probably

00:01:40.740 70 reps

00:01:42.740 To blast through that wall

00:01:44.740 Yeah, I would give it one shot and I'd give up after that if I didn't make it through

00:01:48.740 Oh, so you're not doing it for fitness

00:01:50.420 You're doing it for more

00:01:52.420 Acclaim almost or like conquering

00:01:54.420 Yeah, training for life

00:01:56.180 You never know what's going to come at you

00:01:58.100 You know?

00:01:58.860 Oh, dude, definitely, dude

00:02:00.300 You never know if anybody's going to show up

00:02:02.100 And they're just going to be

00:02:02.920 Covered in drywall

00:02:04.740 And you got to defeat them

00:02:05.600 You know? It could happen, man

00:02:07.440 You never know when you got to fist fight a contractor, dog

00:02:09.780 And he wants to pull out all the stops

00:02:11.100 That's right. You got to be prepared for drywall

00:02:12.780 Oh, you never know, man

00:02:14.180 And drywall's a gateway drug, man

00:02:16.180 I've always said that

00:02:17.260 If somebody's doing drywall

00:02:19.420 It's not long until they're doing

00:02:21.420 Pills usually or something

00:02:23.680 Some kind of uppers

00:02:24.440 You ever notice that over time?

00:02:25.760 I mean, I don't think I'd have a problem with it

00:02:27.520 You know

00:02:28.660 I'm clean now

00:02:30.720 The only thing I miss with is sparkling water

00:02:32.300 Yeah?

00:02:33.160 Sparkling water and drywall

00:02:34.060 Yeah

00:02:35.160 There you go

00:02:35.540 What if I pop open this liquid death? 0.88

00:02:37.240 Crack it open, man 1.00

00:02:38.200 Let's die together 1.00

00:02:39.000 Oh, yeah 1.00

00:02:41.340 Feels good, huh?

00:02:42.320 Yeah, cheers, brother

00:02:43.380 Cheers, man

00:02:45.860 Nice to meet you, bro

00:02:47.240 Nice to meet you, too

00:02:48.440 I've seen your work

00:02:49.400 Big fan

00:02:51.260 I've seen your stand-up

00:02:52.080 I saw that one time

00:02:52.720 You did stand-up on Mushrooms

00:02:53.820 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah

00:02:55.620 That was Joey Diaz

00:02:56.760 Started all of that

00:02:57.740 Because that's the thing about Joey Diaz

00:03:00.000 He's basically

00:03:00.740 He's almost like

00:03:03.080 If they had a construction worker video game

00:03:06.540 Yeah

00:03:07.040 And you had to get to the end

00:03:08.580 And fight the big boss

00:03:09.720 That's got all the drugs 0.99

00:03:10.980 All the drywall

00:03:12.260 Yeah, he's

00:03:13.120 All the good plumbing

00:03:14.080 All the everything

00:03:15.020 You know, tremendous

00:03:16.000 He's an interesting character, man

00:03:17.860 He reminds me a lot of guys from my hometown

00:03:19.820 Because I grew up over there in New York

00:03:21.100 New Jersey area

00:03:21.920 Oh, yeah

00:03:22.320 So I'm used to guys like that

00:03:23.860 Coming in the barbershop 1.00

00:03:24.860 And just fucking bat shit crazy 0.99

00:03:27.240 Some real legends, I bet 0.99

00:03:29.340 I bet you've met a lot of

00:03:31.060 And I'm sitting here with Jeff Wittick

00:03:33.340 Yeah

00:03:34.040 And I just

00:03:35.100 So our audience knows

00:03:36.320 And he is a YouTube personality

00:03:39.260 Entertainer

00:03:40.500 I would say kind of an artist

00:03:45.220 Kind of a

00:03:46.360 I'm trying to think of how I would

00:03:48.720 How I see you

00:03:50.500 I don't know, man

00:03:51.060 I kind of feel like I'm in the same realm as you

00:03:53.280 But like I'm

00:03:54.020 I feel like I'm the same age as you too

00:03:55.700 Sometimes I just wake up 0.99

00:03:56.820 And I feel like I'm fucking 0.97

00:03:57.720 Not saying that you're that much older than me 0.92

00:04:00.180 Yeah, but you feel older?

00:04:01.640 I feel older 0.96

00:04:02.420 Yeah, I feel like I'm fucking a thousand years old sometimes 0.95

00:04:05.160 Do you? 0.96

00:04:05.480 Like this week has just been one of those weeks

00:04:07.440 Yeah

00:04:07.980 What is it like?

00:04:09.180 You feel like in your spirit?

00:04:10.620 Or do you feel like in your body, you mean?

00:04:12.260 Or like in your emotions?

00:04:14.300 I feel like I've lived like

00:04:15.620 Like a thousand different lives

00:04:17.880 Yeah

00:04:18.160 That's a great thing I would say about you

00:04:20.660 Yes, you seem like you lived a thousand lives, man

00:04:23.040 You see

00:04:23.980 Yeah, there's like

00:04:25.800 I feel like there's a lot of different facets

00:04:27.260 That people could learn about you

00:04:29.560 And like a bar

00:04:32.680 Like obviously you barb

00:04:34.620 Yeah, I was a barber for years

00:04:36.160 Working in a barber shop

00:04:37.140 In New Jersey where you're in New York

00:04:39.080 Staten Island

00:04:39.720 So it's kind of like

00:04:40.540 A little bit of

00:04:41.500 The New Jersey of New York

00:04:42.320 Yeah, exactly

00:04:43.140 Yeah

00:04:43.580 Exactly

00:04:44.020 Yeah, it's one of the five bars

00:04:45.720 But it gets left out

00:04:46.660 It gets left behind

00:04:47.300 And it kind of looks like New Jersey

00:04:48.440 So

00:04:48.760 God, dude

00:04:50.660 I always wanted to be from New Jersey, man

00:04:52.220 Oh, yeah?

00:04:53.380 Yeah, because it's kind of like New Orleans

00:04:55.440 But in the Northeast, I think

00:04:56.960 Yeah

00:04:57.460 And people talk a little bit the same

00:04:59.520 Sometimes like

00:05:00.300 Way yet

00:05:01.020 Kind of like

00:05:01.740 Mm-hmm

00:05:02.060 Because you

00:05:02.640 Like people from New Orleans 1.00

00:05:04.080 A lot of time

00:05:04.660 Their accent

00:05:05.260 Especially women 0.97

00:05:06.160 Kind of thicker women 1.00

00:05:07.100 Will get

00:05:07.680 Their accent will get mistaken

00:05:09.240 For New Jersey

00:05:09.900 Just real lazy

00:05:11.080 Just lazy

00:05:12.100 The way you pronounce your L's

00:05:13.920 Yeah

00:05:14.420 You know

00:05:15.060 Way yet

00:05:15.900 Have a coffee

00:05:16.820 Have a coffee

00:05:16.840 Or water

00:05:17.960 The Holland

00:05:18.740 Yeah

00:05:19.280 And it just seems

00:05:21.360 There's always so

00:05:22.180 There's so many great movies

00:05:23.740 Kind of made about that area

00:05:25.520 Where you get to see like

00:05:26.920 I think there's a lot of romanticizing

00:05:29.320 It feels like

00:05:29.900 Coming up in that area

00:05:31.040 Like a lot of

00:05:32.020 Does it feel like that?

00:05:36.400 Not for me

00:05:36.920 No, I wanted to get the hell out of there

00:05:38.240 The second I was old enough to leave

00:05:39.780 I left at 18

00:05:41.240 I moved down to Miami Beach

00:05:42.940 And that's where the romanticizing started for me

00:05:45.120 But I was drunk all those years

00:05:46.640 I don't remember any of it

00:05:47.580 Oh, you drank a lot coming up, huh?

00:05:48.840 I used to drink heavily, yeah

00:05:49.920 Really?

00:05:50.620 I really like your stuff

00:05:51.460 I like how you mix in the sobriety talk

00:05:54.400 And you talk about your own stuff

00:05:55.620 You're very vulnerable

00:05:56.320 Thanks, man

00:05:58.500 Because I, you know

00:06:00.140 When I got into this game

00:06:01.040 I was like 0.99

00:06:01.340 I'm just going to fuck around 0.99

00:06:02.100 And make funny videos 1.00

00:06:02.980 Yeah

00:06:03.320 And I never thought to myself

00:06:05.040 Like I would be getting vulnerable

00:06:06.260 I talked to your producer

00:06:07.900 And he said that he watched the documentary

00:06:09.200 So he'd seen me cry already

00:06:11.260 So it's odd to meet a man

00:06:12.820 That's a stranger

00:06:13.640 Yeah

00:06:14.140 And he had already seen me cry

00:06:15.620 So I'm still getting used to stuff like that

00:06:17.500 But seeing you do it

00:06:18.340 It's cool, you know

00:06:19.800 It gives me hope

00:06:20.800 Like something to look forward to in the future

00:06:22.580 You know

00:06:23.020 Thanks, man

00:06:24.020 Well, it's nice of you to say that

00:06:25.100 I mean, I think

00:06:26.780 You seem like a really sincere guy

00:06:29.560 Was it all

00:06:31.500 Were you always that way?

00:06:32.860 Or are you finding now?

00:06:34.240 Because it seems like

00:06:34.920 Here's what it seems like to me

00:06:35.660 When I watch your stuff

00:06:36.540 That you've done kind of everything

00:06:38.380 It seems like you're this

00:06:39.520 This being 0.92

00:06:41.500 You're almost like this attack barber

00:06:43.680 That's what I felt like a little bit

00:06:45.260 Not in a bad way

00:06:46.060 Have you seen the barbershop show?

00:06:47.400 Do you watch the podcast?

00:06:48.500 Yes

00:06:48.640 Okay

00:06:48.900 But I saw

00:06:50.000 What did I see?

00:06:53.020 Well, I saw the one vlog too

00:06:54.500 About this

00:06:54.920 Like your history, your life

00:06:55.920 That kind of like sums up

00:06:56.980 It's just like a little bit of everything

00:06:58.160 Oh, okay

00:06:58.680 Which is really cute

00:06:59.600 Seeing your parents

00:07:00.500 But you

00:07:02.760 I was trying to piece together

00:07:04.180 Okay, who is this guy?

00:07:05.520 You know

00:07:05.660 What is his

00:07:06.360 It seemed like you've done everything

00:07:08.060 Or you've wanted to do everything

00:07:09.720 Yeah, I wake up some days

00:07:11.240 I don't even know

00:07:11.760 I'm like, what am I doing all this for?

00:07:13.520 Yeah

00:07:13.600 Because now I'm doing so much

00:07:14.780 I'm doing two different shows

00:07:15.880 I know, I see you do a lot of shows too

00:07:17.500 But I'm sure you probably go through it too

00:07:19.140 You wake up some days

00:07:20.200 And you're just like 1.00

00:07:20.720 Fuck, what am I 0.99

00:07:21.320 What am I going to talk about today? 1.00

00:07:22.880 Oh, dude

00:07:23.700 Yeah, the past 100 episodes

00:07:25.740 I feel like

00:07:26.380 Yeah

00:07:26.820 Has really been like that

00:07:28.040 Like sometimes I don't know

00:07:28.980 And then I don't know

00:07:30.100 What people want to hear anymore

00:07:31.460 And I feel like I used to be

00:07:33.100 Kind of connected to that

00:07:34.320 Like I was in the

00:07:35.240 In this pocket

00:07:36.460 And then the pocket just

00:07:37.720 I don't know

00:07:39.380 It got

00:07:40.000 Either

00:07:40.780 The pocket disappeared

00:07:43.060 Or I disappeared

00:07:43.860 Or something

00:07:44.340 The connection wasn't there sometimes

00:07:45.960 Yeah

00:07:46.320 But you can't stop

00:07:47.220 Because these people look at

00:07:48.500 They look to you for more than just

00:07:50.120 You know, some laughs

00:07:51.440 Yeah

00:07:51.980 You know, you keep these people going

00:07:53.280 I'm sure you've got people sober

00:07:54.480 You know

00:07:55.200 That are relying on you now

00:07:56.500 Yeah, I think there's probably

00:07:58.020 Some people that are definitely fired

00:07:59.480 You know, they're excited, you know

00:08:00.840 That you're in the fight too

00:08:02.260 But also you mix in

00:08:02.780 Are you sober?

00:08:03.580 Are you

00:08:03.720 Because you

00:08:04.460 Well, I mix in all kinds of stuff

00:08:06.300 So right now

00:08:07.100 Right now I'm taking

00:08:08.720 I'm on my four step right now

00:08:09.800 Are you just going to A meetings for fun?

00:08:11.280 No, I've got like 70

00:08:12.280 Tryouts, tryouts, tryouts, sit

00:08:13.400 I've got like 70 something days

00:08:14.800 I'm going

00:08:15.160 And I'm doing a four step right now

00:08:16.720 Okay

00:08:17.260 So that's where I'm at

00:08:18.100 I fell off

00:08:19.660 Let me see

00:08:20.080 A couple months ago

00:08:21.240 And

00:08:22.840 I tried ketamine therapy

00:08:25.100 I tried that

00:08:26.000 Okay

00:08:26.440 To see

00:08:27.360 Just to help me with like

00:08:29.400 Just like stuff from growing up

00:08:31.140 Or just whatever

00:08:31.700 To try it out

00:08:32.460 Because I was off the wagon

00:08:34.300 I was like

00:08:34.580 I might as well try this ketamine therapy

00:08:35.760 While I'm out here

00:08:36.460 You don't tell them that in AA, right?

00:08:38.900 No, I'll tell like my sponsors

00:08:40.460 Or whoever asks

00:08:41.240 But I try to always go to meetings

00:08:43.820 So I'm not like

00:08:45.500 Falling out of like

00:08:46.600 The practice of it

00:08:47.940 I've never had a canned

00:08:49.260 Flat water

00:08:50.600 That's kind of

00:08:51.560 New to me

00:08:52.840 I'm used to sparkling in the can

00:08:55.120 Really?

00:08:56.300 That's nice

00:08:57.100 You ever see those boxes of water?

00:09:00.320 It's like a milk carton

00:09:01.180 Yeah

00:09:01.660 It makes me sad

00:09:02.420 Yeah

00:09:03.060 I almost feel like

00:09:04.660 It's like a funeral

00:09:05.280 It's like a coffin for water

00:09:06.840 Yeah

00:09:07.260 It's nice for the environment

00:09:08.500 It's cool

00:09:09.000 I can respect that

00:09:10.380 But

00:09:10.580 Just you feel like

00:09:11.920 You taste like a little linger in a milk

00:09:13.440 You know

00:09:13.880 Like it used to be used

00:09:15.040 As a milk carton

00:09:15.860 And now they just put water in it

00:09:17.060 Yeah

00:09:17.360 It seemed a little repurposed

00:09:18.640 Slap a label on it

00:09:19.840 Put Will Smith's son

00:09:20.840 As the face of it

00:09:21.660 Or something like that

00:09:22.300 Yeah

00:09:22.480 All of a sudden

00:09:23.420 Yeah

00:09:23.880 But liquid death

00:09:24.940 I could get behind

00:09:25.560 This is a sparkling one right?

00:09:26.820 You brought this one out for me?

00:09:27.820 Yeah

00:09:28.000 I appreciate it

00:09:28.540 I'm gonna crack this one

00:09:29.440 Nick got you that one

00:09:30.100 Get that open

00:09:30.460 No disrespect

00:09:31.100 No put it right into your veins dude

00:09:32.820 This just got me

00:09:33.880 This is what got me

00:09:34.980 Off the booze right here 0.88

00:09:36.320 Really?

00:09:36.820 I'll have 17 of these a day

00:09:38.860 Like La Croix

00:09:40.120 I've been drinking

00:09:40.780 But 1.00

00:09:41.040 Fuck La Croix 1.00

00:09:42.200 Cause I've been trying to get sponsored by them 1.00

00:09:44.000 And they won't do it?

00:09:45.260 No

00:09:45.400 No bite

00:09:45.940 I hit them up

00:09:46.960 They hit me right back in the day

00:09:48.040 Liquid death?

00:09:48.840 Mmhmm

00:09:49.060 Yeah

00:09:49.560 Oh they're ready dude

00:09:50.820 They're ready

00:09:51.300 They're gonna die with podcasting man

00:09:53.260 They're like

00:09:53.640 We're gonna spend all of our money on podcasting

00:09:55.880 And go out

00:09:56.940 That's the way to do it

00:09:57.960 Who's watching TV?

00:09:59.620 What are you gonna pay for commercials?

00:10:01.480 Yeah

00:10:01.740 I can't imagine that

00:10:02.840 I mean the money that's also

00:10:04.080 That goes into commercials

00:10:05.040 And stuff like that

00:10:05.820 Is pretty hilarious

00:10:06.580 Yeah

00:10:06.960 You know

00:10:07.280 Do you have it

00:10:08.220 Do you have cable?

00:10:09.720 I don't

00:10:10.720 I have Hulu

00:10:11.740 So that is cable yeah

00:10:13.480 I guess yeah

00:10:14.560 I don't even have time to watch stuff

00:10:16.640 At this point

00:10:17.060 You're doing with three podcasts a day? 1.00

00:10:19.180 Shit 1.00

00:10:19.580 I wish 0.99

00:10:19.980 I'm doing two podcasts a week

00:10:21.100 Actually I don't wish

00:10:21.940 I'm okay with what I'm doing

00:10:23.660 Yeah

00:10:24.160 It's hard

00:10:25.320 It's hard

00:10:25.800 It's hard

00:10:26.280 It's fine

00:10:27.500 It's great man

00:10:28.280 It's great

00:10:28.740 That's what I gotta remember all the time

00:10:29.860 Is like this is a great job

00:10:31.060 You know it's fun

00:10:31.840 To be able to think out loud

00:10:33.140 And let people be there sometimes

00:10:35.160 With you to hear you think

00:10:36.440 You see a therapist?

00:10:37.780 Yeah

00:10:38.060 I got a new woman

00:10:39.300 I'm starting with on Friday

00:10:40.300 You look like a therapist dude

00:10:41.860 Is it the glasses?

00:10:42.900 You want me to take them off?

00:10:43.600 I can take them off

00:10:44.320 If that's

00:10:44.920 Let me see if you still look like one 1.00

00:10:46.740 I mean

00:10:48.220 Put them back on 0.99

00:10:48.940 I look like a fucking New York barber 1.00

00:10:51.080 No? 1.00

00:10:51.520 Put the specs back on 0.99

00:10:53.320 It's crazy what one little fucking detail can change huh? 0.99

00:10:56.560 Maybe a barber at a library you know 0.99

00:10:58.260 Come over here in a periodicals and a freaking

00:11:00.580 It's your show 0.84

00:11:01.660 Would you rather me like this?

00:11:03.080 I like them yeah

00:11:03.780 Yeah I like them

00:11:04.940 They look nice dude

00:11:06.040 Man

00:11:06.660 So you started off in New Jersey

00:11:09.440 You were barbering

00:11:10.400 You got into drugs on the side

00:11:12.420 It seemed like you were just doing anything

00:11:13.660 I mean everybody got into drugs on the side over in New Jersey

00:11:16.440 Yeah

00:11:16.820 And you guys did wrestling

00:11:18.320 I know everybody

00:11:18.880 I know a guy who built a wrestling ring in his backyard

00:11:21.100 I didn't do no wrestling

00:11:22.600 But everybody loves it in New Jersey

00:11:24.600 All the kids do

00:11:25.300 Like WWE wrestling?

00:11:27.500 Yeah

00:11:27.680 Okay

00:11:28.300 People love that

00:11:30.220 Bon Jovi 1.00

00:11:31.080 Did you do your research like fucking 1.00

00:11:32.880 Was that guy Nardwar? 1.00

00:11:34.220 Huh?

00:11:34.560 Because if you're going back to my childhood

00:11:35.820 Yeah like I had wrestlers

00:11:37.140 But nobody knows that about me

00:11:38.920 I never shared that online

00:11:40.340 I'm not getting this from online

00:11:42.420 I'm getting this from thousands of people

00:11:43.900 I met from New Jersey

00:11:44.720 You guys like wrestling

00:11:45.640 Bon Jovi

00:11:46.860 Y'all's moms

00:11:48.620 Yeah

00:11:50.080 Family

00:11:51.120 What else?

00:11:53.540 That's all I know really

00:11:54.420 Meatballs

00:11:54.940 Spaghetti meatballs

00:11:55.600 Oh yeah all that kind of stuff

00:11:56.640 Good feet

00:11:57.320 Good food

00:11:58.460 Things you can pick up with your hand 1.00

00:11:59.740 And fucking put in your mouth 1.00

00:12:00.640 Yeah I eat fucking everything with my hands 1.00

00:12:02.640 I don't use forks 0.99

00:12:03.500 People love that yeah

00:12:04.560 Steaks too

00:12:05.200 I just eat a steak with my hands 1.00

00:12:06.740 Oh you got these fucking wrist forks dog 1.00

00:12:08.540 You're in bro 0.99

00:12:09.320 But yeah I think those are things

00:12:11.240 That I just kind of generalize

00:12:12.540 About New Jersey

00:12:13.120 That are pretty safe

00:12:14.060 Listening to Joey Diaz

00:12:15.720 Will give you a good idea

00:12:16.740 About a lot of stuff from New Jersey

00:12:18.180 In that area

00:12:18.980 New York

00:12:20.980 But as New York

00:12:21.960 You know so much

00:12:22.620 From watching movies and stuff

00:12:23.940 You get such an idea of New York

00:12:25.180 I think I just wonder

00:12:26.440 Like what made you

00:12:28.100 Like what do you think

00:12:28.940 Was like the fire inside of you

00:12:30.360 That made you like

00:12:31.220 Want to become

00:12:32.380 Or made you already

00:12:33.820 A personality

00:12:34.660 That ended up on YouTube

00:12:35.740 If you think back on it

00:12:38.420 I don't know

00:12:39.460 I think it's just

00:12:40.100 Where life went

00:12:41.700 You know

00:12:42.340 Like initially I thought

00:12:43.760 You know let's move out here 0.57

00:12:44.740 And make something

00:12:45.680 In the entertainment business

00:12:46.580 I didn't know if I wanted to do stand up

00:12:48.040 And stuff like that

00:12:48.760 Because I had a little nerves

00:12:49.880 To do stand up

00:12:50.740 And that's why when I

00:12:51.780 The first thing I saw of yours

00:12:52.920 Was when you did stand up

00:12:53.860 On mushrooms

00:12:54.440 And I was like

00:12:55.600 First of all

00:12:56.800 When I do mushrooms

00:12:57.480 I want everybody around me

00:12:58.980 To be on mushrooms too

00:12:59.900 That's how I like to

00:13:01.300 Because I don't want people

00:13:02.520 On a different wavelength 0.98

00:13:03.740 Not that it's fucking like 0.97

00:13:06.000 See how he just came in here 0.96

00:13:07.560 And I'm like 0.99

00:13:07.860 What the fuck is this guy doing 0.99

00:13:08.720 Over here 1.00

00:13:09.120 That's like somebody

00:13:09.860 When you're on mushrooms

00:13:10.440 And somebody isn't

00:13:10.940 Yeah that would be an enemy

00:13:11.940 You know

00:13:12.440 So

00:13:12.840 You went up

00:13:14.800 On stage to do stand up

00:13:16.620 When pretty much

00:13:17.540 They were all enemies

00:13:18.380 Until you get a laugh out of them

00:13:19.760 Yeah

00:13:20.100 You know so 0.99

00:13:20.660 That's fucking ballsy 0.99

00:13:21.980 I saw this guy 0.99

00:13:22.780 Went up there

00:13:23.240 He has a mullet 1.00

00:13:23.860 He's fucking on mushrooms 0.99

00:13:24.980 He went out there 1.00

00:13:25.520 And said it

00:13:26.020 Like I'm on mushrooms

00:13:26.980 And you stared death in the face

00:13:28.680 And you were just like 1.00

00:13:29.280 Fuck this 1.00

00:13:29.960 I'm gonna fucking kill this shit 1.00

00:13:31.600 Yeah that was cool 1.00

00:13:32.200 So I've been a fan man

00:13:33.280 I've been

00:13:33.560 Thanks bro

00:13:34.320 You know

00:13:34.700 I've been watching

00:13:35.360 You guys' stuff

00:13:36.180 Thanks man

00:13:37.760 Yeah it was

00:13:38.140 That was exciting man

00:13:39.660 Does this bother you

00:13:40.040 That everybody has mullets now?

00:13:41.760 No

00:13:42.040 I think the part that

00:13:43.400 Bothered

00:13:43.940 Like

00:13:44.220 Not bothered me

00:13:45.180 But like

00:13:45.800 I think it's awesome dude

00:13:48.940 I think it's a confidence piece

00:13:50.900 I feel like

00:13:52.560 I have a big nose

00:13:53.460 So it also rounds out my face

00:13:55.160 It gives me a more heroic style

00:13:56.880 Yeah

00:13:57.380 If you show up on a horse 1.00

00:13:59.040 Or even on a fucking bike 1.00

00:14:00.340 Like that's painted brown 1.00

00:14:01.820 Chicks are like 1.00

00:14:02.640 Damn who the fuck is that 1.00

00:14:03.860 You know 1.00

00:14:04.100 A bike that's painted brown?

00:14:05.340 I feel like if you come

00:14:06.480 Like

00:14:06.860 I feel like you just

00:14:09.120 It gives you more

00:14:10.040 It gives you more bravado

00:14:11.180 Dude 1.00

00:14:11.580 Sitting there with a cold ass neck 1.00

00:14:13.920 Like some little fucking twink 1.00

00:14:15.420 That's all 1.00

00:14:15.800 What are you an accountant?

00:14:16.800 On a bus stop

00:14:17.820 Yeah 1.00

00:14:18.180 Fuck that 1.00

00:14:19.220 Feeling the sunrise on your neck 1.00

00:14:20.780 Yeah

00:14:21.140 Like some freaking busted out

00:14:22.760 Twink dude

00:14:23.940 I ain't doing this

00:14:24.440 See like

00:14:24.600 I woke up today

00:14:26.240 Like this whole week

00:14:27.400 I've been in like

00:14:27.980 A little bit of a funk

00:14:28.760 I haven't been feeling 100%

00:14:29.980 But having the mullet

00:14:31.660 You wake up

00:14:32.340 And you look in the mirror

00:14:33.120 And you're like 0.99

00:14:33.600 I'm a goddamn entertainer 1.00

00:14:35.700 Yes 0.99

00:14:35.940 You know

00:14:36.160 There's something going on here

00:14:37.640 Yeah

00:14:38.180 And I did this

00:14:39.280 I did this cut

00:14:40.300 Because I was going to skydiving school

00:14:41.700 I was going to learn to get

00:14:42.580 Oh yeah

00:14:43.440 Certified skydiving

00:14:44.720 And I was like 0.99

00:14:45.980 I just need a fucking wild haircut 0.99

00:14:47.560 Just to jump out of the plane 1.00

00:14:48.740 And fucking take the pictures 1.00

00:14:49.920 And shit 1.00

00:14:50.280 Because you want the hair 1.00

00:14:50.800 In the back

00:14:51.200 You want it blowing

00:14:51.700 Yeah

00:14:52.040 A little extra parachute

00:14:53.240 Maybe to help with the velocity

00:14:54.500 Coming down

00:14:55.120 Yeah baby

00:14:55.960 And after that

00:14:57.560 I just rocked with it

00:14:58.440 Because it just

00:14:58.840 It put me in that mentality

00:15:00.460 Every time I wake up

00:15:01.420 I'm like

00:15:01.720 Alright

00:15:01.980 I'm not a regular guy

00:15:03.580 I'm a skydiver

00:15:04.240 Yeah I'm a skydiver 1.00

00:15:05.480 I got a goddamn mullet 1.00

00:15:06.920 Yeah 1.00

00:15:07.120 I need to entertain

00:15:07.780 Whatever it takes

00:15:09.300 Yeah what am I going to do

00:15:10.160 You know

00:15:10.380 This is not for me anymore

00:15:11.820 Yeah

00:15:12.020 This is for the people

00:15:12.840 Ah I like that

00:15:14.100 Do you really start to feel like that over time

00:15:16.320 Because I wonder like

00:15:17.740 The pressures and stuff

00:15:19.320 That it

00:15:19.760 That

00:15:20.300 That whole

00:15:21.520 And I don't want to put you in like a YouTube world

00:15:24.500 Because I kind of separate what you do

00:15:26.600 Put you in that world too

00:15:28.900 Yeah

00:15:29.540 You know

00:15:29.920 But you're also a human

00:15:32.480 But that's where everything ends up at

00:15:34.580 So

00:15:35.000 Like

00:15:36.420 I mean

00:15:38.080 I mean your YouTube career

00:15:39.720 Is probably launching the rest of your careers

00:15:42.060 And keeping you

00:15:43.540 Or allowing you to make so much more money

00:15:45.900 Yeah

00:15:46.360 And grow your fan base

00:15:47.180 So technically your main income is YouTube right now

00:15:50.380 Yeah I'm a YouTuber 0.99

00:15:50.800 Look at that's fucking cashing you out 0.97

00:15:52.360 They're not paying us that much 0.99

00:15:53.840 But they're a good sipper

00:15:56.040 I won't say that

00:15:56.800 But I'm sure touring was initially like

00:15:58.400 Your

00:15:58.960 You know

00:15:59.980 Number one

00:16:00.660 Right

00:16:01.000 Priority

00:16:01.640 Top pay date

00:16:02.660 And now it's all this other stuff

00:16:04.180 You're doing on YouTube

00:16:04.800 So you're a YouTuber too bro

00:16:06.260 No offense

00:16:06.860 I don't take it personal

00:16:08.400 You know

00:16:08.780 Yeah

00:16:09.380 Call me

00:16:10.220 Yeah

00:16:10.680 I guess I am

00:16:11.680 Theo Vaughn the YouTuber 0.78

00:16:12.920 Damn I didn't know it 0.82

00:16:14.380 You went from having that comedian title 1.00

00:16:16.540 To fucking 1.00

00:16:17.040 I'm gonna change your Wikipedia 1.00

00:16:18.060 I'm gonna get my fucking army of people on it 1.00

00:16:20.900 Theo Vaughn fucking YouTuber 0.99

00:16:22.360 My friend Rob knows how to change people's Wikipedias 0.99

00:16:25.380 On the spot

00:16:26.020 And make it be that

00:16:26.900 Oh yeah

00:16:27.480 Yeah

00:16:27.820 I gotta call him up

00:16:29.100 But I don't know how

00:16:29.920 Does he work at Wikipedia?

00:16:30.700 His friend does or something

00:16:32.220 And he gave him some little cheat code

00:16:33.880 Damn that's nice to have somebody at Wikipedia

00:16:36.120 You can just put whatever you want up there 0.97

00:16:37.560 I work at SpaceX

00:16:38.700 You know 0.99

00:16:39.360 Like I'm a fucking investor in Uber or something 1.00

00:16:42.240 You know 0.99

00:16:42.600 Yeah

00:16:42.840 You can put all types of flexes on there

00:16:44.340 You never need to buy a watch or nothing

00:16:45.980 Yeah

00:16:46.280 You know

00:16:46.560 Just have your Wikipedia stacked

00:16:48.080 Yeah

00:16:48.460 Yeah dude

00:16:49.880 That's a great call

00:16:51.340 Yeah

00:16:51.780 If you know somebody at Wikipedia

00:16:54.040 It's basically

00:16:54.800 You could say you went to all these colleges

00:16:56.340 Yeah

00:16:56.880 You have all this cash

00:16:58.120 You do know you got Rob

00:16:59.380 You got Rob over there

00:17:00.660 Yeah

00:17:00.880 I gotta hit him up man 1.00

00:17:02.060 Tell him to slap Harvard on my fucking resume 1.00

00:17:04.440 I will dude 1.00

00:17:05.400 You know what

00:17:06.200 Let me see what I can do

00:17:06.760 Take all my arrests off

00:17:08.060 You know

00:17:08.480 Never been arrested

00:17:09.520 This guy was squeaky clean 1.00

00:17:10.780 He's got a fucking perfect record 0.99

00:17:12.320 Let me see what I can do man 0.98

00:17:14.440 But do you feel like at a certain point

00:17:16.640 Like um

00:17:17.420 Does it kind of top out

00:17:19.540 Where you guys are doing so many feats

00:17:21.420 And trying to do so much wild stuff

00:17:22.960 Was there a point you realized

00:17:24.320 I don't have that neck

00:17:25.880 Like there's a level in me

00:17:26.960 That I don't have

00:17:27.800 Like a Steve-O

00:17:28.760 I never had that 1.00

00:17:30.020 I never wanted to do any of that shit 0.97

00:17:31.600 I'm just a team player 0.96

00:17:32.580 You know

00:17:32.900 I was like

00:17:33.280 I'm with this crew

00:17:35.220 These are all my friends

00:17:36.040 And we all collaborate

00:17:36.820 We work together

00:17:37.440 It's kind of like what you guys got

00:17:38.720 With like your whole comedian podcasting crew

00:17:40.820 That kind of blew up over the past couple years

00:17:42.560 Yeah

00:17:42.940 We had that

00:17:43.720 Where we just collaborate

00:17:45.040 Not for money

00:17:46.000 It's just

00:17:46.640 You know

00:17:46.900 We like making videos together

00:17:48.000 And we're able to help each other out

00:17:49.180 We all work together well

00:17:50.580 Because we do it all the time

00:17:51.880 And you know

00:17:54.120 We hit that pandemic

00:17:55.320 Where nobody filmed for a while

00:17:56.720 And my friend

00:17:57.340 Wanted to make this big comeback video

00:17:59.100 And he suggested something

00:18:00.820 And I was like 1.00

00:18:01.260 Fuck it 1.00

00:18:01.640 Yeah 1.00

00:18:01.860 What's the hardest one

00:18:02.900 I'll take that

00:18:03.780 You know 1.00

00:18:04.140 Just to be a fucking team player 1.00

00:18:05.980 Get in there 1.00

00:18:06.520 And then the mullet 1.00

00:18:08.240 And then the fucking 1.00

00:18:09.120 You know 1.00

00:18:09.940 The way you feel

00:18:11.560 After jumping out of a plane

00:18:12.780 25 times

00:18:14.040 You just feel like 0.99

00:18:14.960 I'm a goddamn superhero 1.00

00:18:16.040 Oh yeah 1.00

00:18:16.460 Like how I came in your hot 0.99

00:18:17.420 I was gonna run through your wall

00:18:18.280 Yeah

00:18:18.600 I had that

00:18:19.420 But 25 times

00:18:20.820 Oh yeah

00:18:21.380 Worse you know

00:18:22.380 Yeah

00:18:23.080 So then 0.99

00:18:23.680 Another little fucking thing pops up 0.99

00:18:25.660 And it's like 1.00

00:18:25.960 Oh I'll fucking do that 0.99

00:18:26.860 What's the worst that could happen 0.99

00:18:27.680 I'm not flying out of a plane

00:18:28.840 You know

00:18:29.180 Yeah

00:18:29.740 And then yeah

00:18:30.860 A year later 1.00

00:18:31.720 Your fucking face is smashed up 1.00

00:18:33.540 You do a podcast 1.00

00:18:34.340 Another guy with a mullet

00:18:35.580 Yeah

00:18:36.460 This is the downhill of it

00:18:38.380 That's what we're saying

00:18:39.740 No this is good

00:18:40.500 I'm saying it in a good way

00:18:41.360 You're doing a podcast

00:18:42.260 With another YouTuber

00:18:43.540 I appreciate you coming in man

00:18:45.820 It's an honor

00:18:47.360 I've been a big fan

00:18:48.780 Well thanks man

00:18:49.980 That's nice you to say that dude

00:18:51.220 And I would love to have you

00:18:51.940 Cut my hair sometime

00:18:52.920 Yeah no I do mullets

00:18:55.180 I do my own

00:18:55.780 So

00:18:56.760 You do your own

00:18:57.580 It's an easy cut

00:18:58.400 Yeah

00:18:58.740 You could probably do your own

00:19:00.020 But I would love to get you on my show

00:19:01.840 I would love to come on A

00:19:03.500 And B

00:19:04.160 I did my own

00:19:05.320 For years before I had

00:19:07.160 Hair

00:19:07.540 Hair like this

00:19:08.620 Yeah

00:19:09.220 And that I did well

00:19:11.080 This is harder to manage I think

00:19:12.600 You got no grays in there 1.00

00:19:13.720 Nothing huh

00:19:14.300 I got some man 0.99

00:19:15.320 I dye them out a little bit

00:19:16.280 Oh do you

00:19:16.720 Yeah right in here

00:19:17.620 Looks good

00:19:18.300 Thanks man

00:19:18.980 I appreciate it

00:19:19.960 Stress free life

00:19:20.860 Yeah kind of

00:19:22.360 I'm just hiding the stress free behind dye

00:19:24.160 Are you

00:19:25.160 Yeah I mean just on here on the side

00:19:26.980 Yeah

00:19:27.260 It gets a little dicey

00:19:28.680 Behind the mask

00:19:29.520 Yeah sometimes I'll put it a little in here

00:19:31.100 When you're not

00:19:32.280 So if you're having a week

00:19:33.120 That you feel like

00:19:33.820 Kind of bad or down

00:19:34.880 Or whatever

00:19:35.220 Do you ever notice

00:19:36.100 Where it comes from

00:19:36.820 Because I mean

00:19:37.220 I could tell a little bit

00:19:38.760 On your face

00:19:39.120 When you came in

00:19:39.760 It was maybe a little bit

00:19:40.620 Of just like

00:19:41.140 Not exhaustion

00:19:41.920 But just something

00:19:42.340 That was traffic

00:19:42.940 And just New York frustration in me

00:19:45.380 Still in you

00:19:46.260 Yeah

00:19:47.000 That doesn't go away

00:19:48.080 The traffic never leaves huh

00:19:49.000 No I talked to my father

00:19:50.320 And he's just like 0.99

00:19:51.020 God damn it 0.98

00:19:51.620 He's cursing at the cars 0.99

00:19:52.580 On the street

00:19:53.080 And it's just

00:19:53.640 I don't know why

00:19:54.500 That bothers us so much

00:19:55.660 You know

00:19:56.000 Yeah

00:19:56.480 But yeah

00:19:57.940 I came in a little

00:19:58.800 I was a little off

00:19:59.940 You know

00:20:00.260 No you're great

00:20:01.100 Charming

00:20:02.000 Nice

00:20:02.480 Affable

00:20:03.180 But I just felt like

00:20:04.580 Oh he seems like

00:20:05.220 Maybe just your energy

00:20:06.700 Feel like

00:20:07.260 When you said also

00:20:09.040 It's been like kind of a

00:20:10.080 Funk week

00:20:11.200 I think maybe the pieces

00:20:12.500 In my head

00:20:13.300 Were like

00:20:13.640 Oh maybe that's what

00:20:14.480 I was thinking about

00:20:15.460 Here's a question

00:20:16.460 Right here from somebody

00:20:17.400 Hey Jeff

00:20:20.820 I'm a huge fan

00:20:22.060 My name's Mitch

00:20:24.180 I'm from New Zealand

00:20:25.280 I was just curious to know

00:20:27.240 What new class

00:20:29.000 Is being successful

00:20:30.560 Let me know

00:20:33.080 Gang gang 1.00

00:20:33.940 Gang baby damn 1.00

00:20:35.220 That's beautiful 0.98

00:20:35.740 Thank you very much Jeff

00:20:36.980 From New Zealand

00:20:38.320 You want to take that one

00:20:39.340 Or should I

00:20:39.760 You

00:20:40.180 Man success

00:20:43.240 I think just maintaining

00:20:44.780 A level of happiness

00:20:45.880 Is successful

00:20:46.980 But I was in the

00:20:48.200 Boxing gym earlier

00:20:49.040 And I was doing sit ups

00:20:50.040 At the end of my workout

00:20:50.880 And I looked up

00:20:52.040 And there was like

00:20:52.500 You know how they have quotes

00:20:53.300 All over these boxing gyms

00:20:54.360 Yeah

00:20:54.700 It said 0.99

00:20:55.580 I forget the fucking quote 0.99

00:20:56.860 Exactly but 0.98

00:20:57.720 It was like

00:20:58.700 Success is

00:21:00.040 Consistent

00:21:02.180 Effort

00:21:03.440 In

00:21:04.440 Over a long period of time

00:21:06.380 Or something like that

00:21:07.320 That's how you get

00:21:08.360 I guess that's like

00:21:08.920 Getting results in like

00:21:09.900 In like a combat sport

00:21:11.400 Or something like that

00:21:12.000 But I guess that

00:21:12.500 Can still translate over into

00:21:14.180 Everyday life

00:21:15.600 You know

00:21:16.040 Consistent effort over time

00:21:17.860 Yeah

00:21:18.840 And

00:21:19.640 Like we do that with

00:21:20.900 Multiple things

00:21:21.480 Like

00:21:21.700 The hardest part about

00:21:22.760 Podcasting is probably

00:21:23.700 Staying consistent

00:21:24.360 Just getting in here

00:21:25.260 Getting it done

00:21:26.080 You know like

00:21:26.860 Getting

00:21:27.080 Doing your workouts

00:21:28.460 Just getting into the gym

00:21:29.820 Is the hardest part

00:21:30.580 Yeah that's a good point

00:21:32.240 Going to work

00:21:33.140 Finishing the day

00:21:34.120 Without telling your boss 1.00

00:21:35.340 To go fuck himself 1.00

00:21:36.180 You know 1.00

00:21:36.560 Yeah

00:21:37.280 That's

00:21:38.720 Did you find the quote?

00:21:40.480 That was John Wooden's

00:21:41.660 Definition of success

00:21:42.680 That became pretty famous

00:21:44.420 Success is peace of mind

00:21:46.280 Which is a direct result

00:21:47.320 Of self-satisfaction

00:21:49.140 And knowing you made

00:21:49.900 The effort to become

00:21:50.880 The best you were capable

00:21:51.940 Of becoming

00:21:52.600 I think that's

00:21:53.540 I think that might be the quote

00:21:54.660 I just butchered it so bad

00:21:55.980 But I wasn't planning

00:21:56.900 On talking about it

00:21:57.780 You know

00:21:58.160 Cliff noted it a lot

00:21:59.780 Because your thing

00:22:00.380 Had three or four words

00:22:01.620 But that's okay

00:22:03.020 Yeah but do you feel like

00:22:07.580 So I

00:22:08.580 Sometimes

00:22:09.060 Because

00:22:09.340 Sometimes when I wonder

00:22:10.740 About you

00:22:11.600 I wonder

00:22:12.000 Well what

00:22:12.580 Is there a level

00:22:13.940 Of achievement

00:22:14.860 Or what is like

00:22:15.780 A driving force

00:22:16.940 Because it's something

00:22:17.460 I wonder about myself too

00:22:18.560 Yeah I just wanted

00:22:19.320 To get a blue check

00:22:20.080 On Instagram

00:22:20.620 And I was like

00:22:21.340 I'll be good with that

00:22:22.020 Once I get that

00:22:22.720 You know

00:22:23.020 Maybe that gold plaque

00:22:24.300 For like the YouTube

00:22:26.160 When you get a million subscribers

00:22:27.480 Like that would be

00:22:28.300 Like an accomplishment

00:22:29.060 That I'd be like

00:22:29.640 Okay I made it

00:22:30.400 Right

00:22:30.680 But it never goes away

00:22:31.660 It's never gonna go away

00:22:32.580 I don't think it ever will

00:22:33.660 And you too

00:22:34.400 You know

00:22:34.780 Where do you think

00:22:35.460 It comes from

00:22:35.980 And what do you think

00:22:36.500 That is

00:22:36.980 That thing

00:22:37.580 Because that's what's

00:22:39.060 Kind of fascinating to me

00:22:40.180 Yeah

00:22:40.480 It's odd huh

00:22:41.500 Like what are we chasing

00:22:42.680 You know

00:22:43.260 Like what

00:22:43.720 Do you

00:22:44.100 Do you set a goal

00:22:45.220 Of money in your bank account

00:22:46.500 That is gonna make you happy

00:22:47.620 And then what

00:22:48.400 Money can't be it

00:22:49.480 There's no way that money's it

00:22:50.880 No

00:22:51.480 Cause then you just get

00:22:52.280 All the money

00:22:52.780 And then you're like

00:22:53.360 Sitting around 0.99

00:22:53.800 What the fuck do I do 1.00

00:22:54.580 I guess I'll just get 1.00

00:22:55.220 High on drugs

00:22:56.020 I'll just do 1.00

00:22:56.760 Fucking ketamine therapy 1.00

00:22:58.000 Like I 1.00

00:22:58.660 I'm not saying

00:22:59.320 That's bad

00:23:00.020 It might have worked for you

00:23:00.840 But like we just

00:23:02.000 Always have like

00:23:03.640 I don't know

00:23:04.600 I need to stay busy

00:23:05.960 In order to not like

00:23:07.320 Fall into the stresses

00:23:08.840 Of everyday life

00:23:09.640 Yeah

00:23:10.100 You know

00:23:11.100 So money is not it

00:23:12.460 Cause if I reach that

00:23:13.580 Goal

00:23:14.720 And then I don't have to

00:23:15.620 Work anymore

00:23:16.140 Then I don't know

00:23:17.440 I don't see that as like

00:23:18.420 Success or happiness

00:23:20.040 I don't know

00:23:20.460 I think you gotta stay

00:23:21.400 Pushing for life

00:23:23.180 Like that whole

00:23:24.080 Thing like do a little bit

00:23:25.500 Of everything everyday

00:23:26.180 Consistently

00:23:26.800 If it's working out

00:23:28.460 If it's podcast

00:23:29.660 And you're working on

00:23:30.360 Other shows

00:23:31.080 Or you have

00:23:31.560 You do jiu jitsu

00:23:32.660 Right

00:23:33.020 Yeah

00:23:33.420 So you're building up

00:23:34.340 In that

00:23:34.680 You're just

00:23:35.100 Bettering yourself

00:23:35.860 In a bunch of

00:23:36.900 Different things

00:23:37.540 Each day

00:23:38.800 Than if you have 0.90

00:23:40.320 A shitty day 0.96

00:23:40.860 At jiu jitsu 0.91

00:23:41.280 Maybe you had

00:23:41.700 A good podcast

00:23:42.320 That day

00:23:42.760 You know

00:23:43.620 You got something

00:23:44.840 Productively

00:23:45.580 Right

00:23:46.420 There you go

00:23:46.920 So that's one thing

00:23:48.260 That doing something

00:23:49.440 That makes you feel

00:23:50.540 Some sort of achievement

00:23:51.640 Showing up

00:23:52.700 Like making my bed

00:23:53.600 Right when I get up

00:23:54.320 Is always a good one

00:23:55.060 For me

00:23:55.400 It's like

00:23:55.800 Okay I started

00:23:57.100 I have one thing done

00:23:58.240 You know

00:23:58.800 Even if

00:23:59.380 Even if that's the only thing

00:24:00.580 I'll even get done today

00:24:01.540 Everything else

00:24:02.080 I might fuddle through

00:24:03.340 At least I started off

00:24:04.680 With one thing

00:24:05.360 Right

00:24:05.660 Yeah

00:24:06.120 But sometimes

00:24:07.520 It's interesting

00:24:08.100 Because I'll look at

00:24:09.580 Like a family

00:24:11.660 Like this morning

00:24:12.220 I went to the smoothie shop

00:24:14.060 And there's a family out there

00:24:16.180 And there's like

00:24:16.820 Some

00:24:17.100 They're singing a song

00:24:18.180 Rain go away

00:24:19.020 Or something

00:24:19.320 It's raining for a minute

00:24:20.120 And they're like

00:24:21.220 It was like this two

00:24:22.440 A man and her husband 0.99

00:24:23.980 Or could have been

00:24:25.100 A lesbian couple

00:24:25.940 But one of them was real

00:24:27.040 You know

00:24:28.660 Trying to be a man

00:24:29.580 And then

00:24:30.140 They had two children

00:24:31.640 They were having

00:24:32.020 Like a sweet time

00:24:32.880 And I was like

00:24:33.240 Oh that's

00:24:34.040 You know

00:24:35.460 Whatever I'm standing here

00:24:36.380 With things bouncing

00:24:37.160 In my head

00:24:38.000 And worrying about this

00:24:39.560 That's success

00:24:40.940 Like I think

00:24:42.060 Sometimes you see it

00:24:42.800 In little

00:24:43.120 Just having a

00:24:44.220 Significant other

00:24:45.280 Or having

00:24:46.120 Maybe

00:24:46.340 I don't know

00:24:46.920 It was like

00:24:47.320 Some piece of happiness

00:24:48.420 That I witnessed

00:24:49.120 For a minute

00:24:49.680 These people didn't know

00:24:50.460 That I was looking at them

00:24:51.380 So I don't know

00:24:53.100 Sometimes I'm like

00:24:53.700 It's like

00:24:54.140 I don't know

00:24:56.360 I'm just trying to look

00:24:57.000 At what the idea

00:24:57.620 Of success is

00:24:58.460 You know

00:24:58.780 Maybe we gotta have

00:24:59.900 Kids

00:25:00.420 You got a dog

00:25:02.200 Or anything

00:25:02.600 Any

00:25:03.060 I don't

00:25:03.460 I got a stuffed animal

00:25:04.380 Any responsibilities

00:25:04.700 Of other lives

00:25:06.220 The stuffed animal

00:25:07.420 Is not a lie

00:25:07.860 But it's like

00:25:08.380 You know

00:25:09.820 It's from a store

00:25:10.500 I mean it's good

00:25:11.200 It's nice

00:25:11.900 I got a French bulldog

00:25:13.840 He's

00:25:14.220 Oh you do

00:25:14.800 Yeah he's 15 years old

00:25:16.460 He's the oldest

00:25:17.200 French bulldog

00:25:17.720 I looked it up yesterday

00:25:18.520 He's the oldest

00:25:19.520 French bulldog

00:25:20.140 In the world

00:25:20.600 And he's off the books

00:25:22.160 I got him under the table

00:25:23.060 So I don't have any paperwork

00:25:23.840 For him

00:25:24.160 So I can't

00:25:24.500 Of course you did

00:25:25.000 Now there you go

00:25:26.080 That's the most

00:25:26.620 New York

00:25:27.380 I've ever heard

00:25:28.180 I got him when he was

00:25:29.020 Four years old

00:25:29.900 And I got no papers for him

00:25:31.440 So maybe I'd get him

00:25:32.480 Like a plaque

00:25:33.160 If he had

00:25:34.120 If I had his records

00:25:35.320 I could get him

00:25:35.900 That Guinness plaque

00:25:36.780 And maybe that'd be 1.00

00:25:37.580 Like a fucking accomplishment 0.99

00:25:38.580 For him 1.00

00:25:39.140 Where he's like

00:25:39.720 I made it

00:25:40.160 I made it

00:25:40.420 You know

00:25:40.620 Maybe he feels that

00:25:41.580 What we're searching for

00:25:42.840 But since he's

00:25:43.940 Since he's got no papers 0.99

00:25:45.120 He's fucking 0.99

00:25:45.740 We can't even get him 1.00

00:25:47.160 That plaque

00:25:47.520 You'll never get

00:25:48.140 The documentation on

00:25:49.080 People don't know

00:25:49.660 I gotta get him

00:25:50.160 A wikipedia

00:25:50.740 And then I'll get 0.99

00:25:51.540 That fucking documentation 0.99

00:25:53.080 He could've come over 1.00

00:25:54.080 On the uh

00:25:54.880 Maybe he came over

00:25:55.740 On one of those ships

00:25:56.700 You know

00:25:57.120 It's insane

00:25:58.440 I don't do any

00:25:59.200 Like special stuff

00:26:00.080 I feed him

00:26:00.640 Regular food from Ralph's

00:26:02.480 You know

00:26:02.960 Just I don't do

00:26:03.880 Anything special

00:26:04.520 Where would he work

00:26:05.460 If he worked

00:26:06.020 When you look at him

00:26:06.900 And you get to know

00:26:07.360 His personality

00:26:07.740 My dog

00:26:08.140 Yeah

00:26:08.460 Who does he remind you

00:26:10.860 Of like a night manager

00:26:11.780 At a Hampton

00:26:12.020 He kind of reminds me

00:26:12.880 Of like a

00:26:13.560 Who's that guy

00:26:14.940 That just fought

00:26:15.480 The heavyweight

00:26:16.040 In UFC

00:26:16.400 Derek Lewis

00:26:17.120 Oh really

00:26:18.460 He throws those shots

00:26:19.980 Yeah

00:26:20.580 Like the big

00:26:21.060 Overhand rights

00:26:21.840 Yeah

00:26:22.200 He kind of does that

00:26:23.440 When he walks around

00:26:24.260 When he struts around

00:26:25.180 Okay

00:26:25.580 And he's got that build

00:26:26.680 Like that

00:26:27.220 I think he would be

00:26:28.600 A UFC top contender

00:26:30.620 Jesus bro

00:26:31.780 His best years

00:26:33.040 Are behind him now

00:26:33.740 Because he's 15 0.99

00:26:34.400 But he was fucking 0.99

00:26:35.700 An athlete 0.99

00:26:36.820 When he was young

00:26:37.500 Was he

00:26:37.840 Yeah

00:26:38.300 Now he's slowing down

00:26:39.520 Yeah

00:26:39.940 Wow that's interesting

00:26:41.520 Can you give dogs HGH

00:26:42.960 Can you look that up

00:26:44.640 It is human growth hormone

00:26:45.840 So

00:26:46.180 DGH

00:26:47.880 We would need

00:26:48.640 A dog growth hormone

00:26:49.520 You need something

00:26:50.240 Yeah I would think

00:26:50.840 Get dog specific

00:26:52.060 I'm sure you could

00:26:52.840 Get him on an upper 0.98

00:26:54.000 At least

00:26:54.580 I'm sure

00:26:55.020 To get his wind

00:26:56.280 Intake stronger

00:26:57.140 Look up what

00:26:58.120 Mark Wahlberg's

00:26:59.000 Dogs look like 1.00

00:26:59.680 Or something

00:27:00.060 Like probably

00:27:00.860 The Rock's dog

00:27:01.640 Is probably jacked

00:27:02.680 You know

00:27:03.080 He's probably got him

00:27:03.720 On some of that stuff

00:27:04.500 Dude

00:27:04.980 I'd pump him

00:27:05.920 With a little bit

00:27:06.500 Of nitrous

00:27:07.000 Not every night

00:27:07.680 But occasionally

00:27:08.360 Nitrous

00:27:09.980 Just something

00:27:11.000 Like a whippet

00:27:11.700 I think if you give him

00:27:12.880 More intake in the air

00:27:14.380 That's what's gonna

00:27:14.960 Fuel a dog

00:27:15.680 A dog is a small unit

00:27:17.020 I mean it's basically 1.00

00:27:17.660 A fucking little modem 0.99

00:27:18.720 If you 1.00

00:27:19.680 Can you do whippets

00:27:21.160 Is that

00:27:21.480 Are you considered sober

00:27:22.580 If you

00:27:23.120 No right

00:27:23.740 I don't think so

00:27:24.920 Isn't it just air

00:27:25.640 I don't think so

00:27:26.860 I mean

00:27:27.200 Here's the thing

00:27:28.780 That's interesting

00:27:29.180 About sobriety man

00:27:30.100 And I meet some people

00:27:31.300 Who will say

00:27:31.800 That they're sober

00:27:32.440 They've been off

00:27:33.180 Of cocaine for

00:27:34.220 That's like Joey Diaz

00:27:36.320 I mean he's sober

00:27:36.880 From cocaine

00:27:37.540 You know

00:27:37.880 I'm sober from alcohol

00:27:38.900 Yeah

00:27:39.260 I say sober all the time

00:27:40.880 And I smoke weed 0.99

00:27:41.820 If a fucking 0.99

00:27:43.000 If somebody offered me 1.00

00:27:44.240 Fucking mushrooms 0.99

00:27:45.740 Or something 0.99

00:27:46.160 I was in the right mood

00:27:46.980 You know

00:27:47.840 I might do them

00:27:49.360 But I say sober

00:27:50.340 Just cause

00:27:50.760 The only thing

00:27:51.380 I ever had a problem

00:27:52.060 With was alcohol

00:27:52.800 Really

00:27:53.220 Yeah

00:27:53.840 I never got into anything

00:27:55.200 Cocaine 1.00

00:27:55.760 None of that shit 1.00

00:27:56.380 I never really liked it 0.99

00:27:57.720 You know

00:27:58.200 But I grew up

00:27:59.100 Seeing my parents

00:28:00.160 My dad

00:28:00.680 Drinking a beer always

00:28:01.880 No they didn't do cocaine

00:28:03.060 Just drink

00:28:03.380 Not that I know of

00:28:04.360 They might have been

00:28:04.980 You know

00:28:05.420 But yeah

00:28:06.040 I would always see

00:28:06.880 My dad with a beer

00:28:07.820 Every day around 1.00

00:28:08.740 Fucking 0.99

00:28:09.160 Like three o'clock 0.99

00:28:10.800 You know

00:28:11.420 He'd pour it in a glass

00:28:13.240 Oh

00:28:13.780 You know 0.99

00:28:14.840 Fucking romantic 1.00

00:28:15.460 Like that's his happiness 1.00

00:28:16.940 You know

00:28:17.420 Yeah

00:28:17.960 He didn't have a problem

00:28:19.200 With it

00:28:19.560 But I think I just have

00:28:20.460 A much more addictive

00:28:21.360 Personality

00:28:22.060 Do you

00:28:22.620 Yeah

00:28:23.440 For sure 0.99

00:28:24.180 I go fucking 1.00

00:28:25.040 I'll eat a whole bag 1.00

00:28:25.760 Of sunflower seeds 1.00

00:28:26.740 Fucking 1.00

00:28:27.100 You know 1.00

00:28:28.380 At night I'll destroy 0.99

00:28:29.520 A whole 0.99

00:28:30.060 You know

00:28:30.660 Box of candy

00:28:31.500 Just heartless huh

00:28:32.520 Yeah it's bad

00:28:33.920 That's my problem

00:28:35.120 That's my problem

00:28:36.220 Is candy

00:28:36.660 That's my new addiction

00:28:37.460 And La Croix's 1.00

00:28:38.360 Are fucking liquid deaths now 0.99

00:28:39.700 I'm gonna stop saying that 1.00

00:28:40.680 What are you doing

00:28:41.640 With the candy

00:28:42.360 What kind are you doing

00:28:43.080 Nerd ropes

00:28:43.840 I mean what are you doing 0.71

00:28:44.600 Are you doing twits

00:28:45.480 It depends

00:28:45.960 It depends if I'm smoking weed

00:28:47.500 If I'm smoking weed 1.00

00:28:48.620 I'd be into all that shit 1.00

00:28:50.200 Nerd ropes 1.00

00:28:50.940 Twizzlers 0.73

00:28:52.040 Wow

00:28:52.680 Skittles

00:28:53.400 Even the sour ones 1.00

00:28:54.620 You fucking wake up in the morning 1.00

00:28:55.840 Your mouth is all torn up 1.00

00:28:56.860 You're like what did I do last night

00:28:58.200 We used to do that thing

00:28:59.160 We would put one in each cheek

00:29:00.560 A spree in each cheek

00:29:01.720 And go to sleep

00:29:02.680 Oh that sounds like torture

00:29:03.940 And just see if God wanted us

00:29:05.160 To be alive

00:29:05.740 Because we didn't know

00:29:07.120 You know

00:29:07.620 And my brother and I would do it 0.99

00:29:09.280 And he would fucking take his 0.99

00:29:10.400 Out of new 0.98

00:29:10.760 Which basically meant

00:29:11.860 At that point

00:29:12.500 He's seeing if I'm gonna die

00:29:14.440 You know what I'm saying 0.91

00:29:14.980 That's crazy in his head

00:29:16.380 Yeah

00:29:16.780 That he's gonna take his out

00:29:17.920 Because I was the younger brother

00:29:19.020 You know

00:29:19.600 So I'd sit there dude

00:29:21.400 And just wake up

00:29:22.120 And just like

00:29:22.640 Orange out of this side

00:29:24.800 Are you the baby

00:29:25.440 In the family

00:29:25.900 I got two younger sisters

00:29:28.180 But we don't

00:29:28.780 You're the youngest male 0.99

00:29:30.240 They didn't really

00:29:30.780 The count

00:29:31.100 Yeah youngest male 0.58

00:29:31.860 Okay

00:29:32.160 And then I got purple

00:29:33.800 Out of this side dude

00:29:34.760 Just spree

00:29:35.540 Just coming out the side bro

00:29:36.960 Yeah

00:29:37.200 Looks like you OD'd

00:29:38.100 It's a horrible thing 1.00

00:29:40.300 It looked like a gay vampire 1.00

00:29:41.620 That had overdosed 1.00

00:29:42.380 Bro

00:29:42.820 I was not doing real well

00:29:44.420 We got a question

00:29:45.180 That came in right here

00:29:45.960 For you Jeff

00:29:46.300 We got a lot of people

00:29:47.020 Really love you man

00:29:47.720 A lot of great questions

00:29:48.500 Came in

00:29:48.720 I posted a picture

00:29:49.600 I tried to share it

00:29:50.460 But I posted the wrong picture

00:29:51.420 I guess it was an edit of you

00:29:52.500 Yeah

00:29:53.480 I wanted to help you out

00:29:54.800 With these questions

00:29:55.420 Because I do stuff like this

00:29:56.480 With my Patreon people

00:29:57.400 And I do FaceTimes

00:29:58.340 I do one on one FaceTimes

00:29:59.440 And those are interesting

00:30:01.360 Some days when I'm having

00:30:02.160 A bad day

00:30:02.660 I just talk to them

00:30:03.460 Oh wow 1.00

00:30:03.980 And that fucking 0.99

00:30:04.960 Actually changes my whole mood 0.97

00:30:06.660 That's a good one

00:30:07.780 You should do stuff like that

00:30:08.660 Because you're

00:30:09.000 It is a good one

00:30:09.740 You have a lot of life experience too

00:30:10.660 I feel like you

00:30:11.380 Kind of have the same thing going on

00:30:12.880 Like you've lived a bunch of lives

00:30:14.160 Yeah

00:30:15.200 And

00:30:15.280 So we really got a lot in common

00:30:17.160 It's not just the hair

00:30:17.860 You and I

00:30:18.500 Yeah

00:30:19.020 And the Wikipedia page

00:30:20.820 Fascination

00:30:22.400 Yeah

00:30:22.720 Alright how's it going guys

00:30:24.500 Whoa hold on

00:30:25.620 Okay

00:30:27.760 Just wanted to be ready for this

00:30:29.360 That's a lot of voice in a person

00:30:31.200 Yeah

00:30:31.840 That's a lot of man

00:30:32.980 You think he's deep in it

00:30:33.480 Intentionally

00:30:34.180 I don't know

00:30:35.900 I mean he's close to those power lines

00:30:37.260 This is a man

00:30:38.000 You know what I'm saying

00:30:38.580 I would be probably 200 feet

00:30:39.980 From those power lines

00:30:40.640 To even make my video

00:30:41.640 This guy is definitely

00:30:44.460 This guy could probably grow apple

00:30:46.420 This guy probably has grown apples

00:30:49.080 Out of his throat

00:30:49.940 If he wants to 0.56

00:30:50.960 I bet dude

00:30:51.760 This dude could spit an orchard

00:30:53.580 If he wants 1.00

00:30:54.080 He's got a fucking apple tree 1.00

00:30:54.820 Growing out of his stomach 1.00

00:30:56.420 Oh his Adam's apple alone

00:30:57.960 Probably

00:30:58.220 I bet it's two pounds

00:30:59.220 Hey how's it going guys

00:31:00.940 Question for both

00:31:04.180 Theo and Jeff

00:31:05.440 As we know both you

00:31:06.920 Have dabbled in

00:31:07.840 The dark arts before

00:31:08.860 So what is your guys'

00:31:11.280 Each like motivational factor

00:31:12.720 That led you to

00:31:13.660 To change

00:31:14.860 Alright that's my question

00:31:17.280 Love you guys both

00:31:18.200 I'm sure the cast would be great

00:31:20.140 Gang gang baby 0.94

00:31:21.020 Hell yeah bro

00:31:22.860 Gang gang 0.75

00:31:23.600 That's a good question

00:31:23.880 Gang baby 0.91

00:31:24.360 What you got there Jeffrey 0.99

00:31:25.420 Fucking what was the question again 0.99

00:31:27.660 What was your motivation 0.99

00:31:28.320 If you dabbled in the dark arts

00:31:29.640 Drugs

00:31:30.260 Alcohol

00:31:30.720 Sexual deviancy 0.97

00:31:31.940 Well I was like

00:31:33.260 I think I was around like 28

00:31:35.200 And I'm like what the hell am I doing

00:31:36.420 With my life

00:31:36.880 I'm kind of half assed in everything

00:31:38.160 I'm half assed in drug dealing

00:31:39.440 I'm half assed in social media

00:31:41.460 It's kind of a weird career to merge

00:31:43.900 It's like if I was a rapper

00:31:45.040 And I sold crack before

00:31:46.600 Cool

00:31:46.940 That's normal

00:31:47.620 But like if you're a YouTuber 0.99

00:31:48.740 That fucking sold drugs before 1.00

00:31:50.080 It's a little weird 1.00

00:31:51.100 To get people to understand

00:31:52.240 But

00:31:53.100 Right I could see a bit

00:31:53.940 Interesting mix

00:31:54.460 I guess if I just explain it like that 0.99

00:31:55.500 Like I'm like 50 cent of the fucking YouTube game 0.99

00:31:57.580 You know 0.99

00:31:57.920 Right gang yeah 0.99

00:31:58.500 I should be dead

00:31:59.280 But I'm still here

00:32:00.120 Yeah

00:32:00.480 I sold drugs before 0.99

00:32:01.460 I'm doing this shit now 0.99

00:32:02.720 Oh I like it 0.99

00:32:03.720 But

00:32:04.100 How I

00:32:05.740 How I got sober 0.99

00:32:06.440 How I fucking 0.99

00:32:06.960 Got sober of alcohol 0.98

00:32:07.920 I was like

00:32:08.520 I need to

00:32:10.320 Take one of these things

00:32:11.780 Serious

00:32:12.560 And give it 100%

00:32:13.460 Because you can't half assed 1.00

00:32:14.740 Selling weed

00:32:15.200 You know

00:32:16.400 You gotta collect money 0.99

00:32:17.240 People don't wanna fucking send you money 0.99

00:32:18.640 If you're acting like a clown on the internet 1.00

00:32:20.140 You know like 0.96

00:32:20.640 Who is this guy

00:32:21.580 Right I'm not paying him

00:32:22.260 He's crying in his videos on YouTube 0.99

00:32:24.060 I'm not fucking paying that guy 0.99

00:32:25.500 Well 0.99

00:32:25.920 I'm never gonna get paid

00:32:26.940 But yeah

00:32:27.440 Do you cry a lot

00:32:28.600 I mean I've definitely

00:32:29.540 Probably teared up

00:32:30.340 Actually some of it is seasonal

00:32:31.460 I think I've actually seen you cry too before

00:32:33.600 Some of it is seasonal though

00:32:34.820 Yeah I guess it's not that big a deal

00:32:35.300 It's not that memorable

00:32:36.220 That's me

00:32:36.820 That's what I thought

00:32:37.660 That's the video he posted

00:32:38.880 Oh it is

00:32:40.100 I was like send Theo questions

00:32:41.440 Going on his podcast tomorrow

00:32:42.520 I had the wrong guy

00:32:43.380 That's not at all you

00:32:46.340 Not even

00:32:46.660 Is it your relative maybe

00:32:48.400 I mean

00:32:48.860 Twin brother

00:32:49.940 Long lost evil twin

00:32:51.360 In college dude

00:32:52.480 Minus the tats

00:32:53.720 And a lot of the

00:32:55.440 I have the same shirt

00:32:58.340 Is this like a fan

00:33:00.760 Honestly

00:33:01.380 This gentleman I believe

00:33:03.040 Lives in Indiana

00:33:03.880 And we've communicated

00:33:04.580 Oh this is a real person

00:33:05.520 This is a real man

00:33:06.240 Yeah

00:33:06.440 This is a real adult

00:33:07.200 So I just got the wrong guy

00:33:08.420 I got the wrong guy

00:33:09.520 Great guy

00:33:10.080 I've heard he's a really nice guy

00:33:11.200 And he's jacking

00:33:12.500 If we want

00:33:12.920 I'm not gonna say he has HGH

00:33:14.420 But if we want HGH

00:33:15.760 He's the guy to call

00:33:17.320 I bet we could probably 0.54

00:33:18.520 Squeeze a pair of his underpants

00:33:19.440 Looks like he has the rocks tattoo

00:33:20.620 Over there

00:33:21.820 Oh he might

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00:34:03.480 And I eat them

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00:34:29.160 The podcast

00:34:29.840 Hello

00:34:31.160 Good day

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00:35:41.400 P-E-L-O-T-O-N 1.00

00:35:43.580 Dot com

00:35:44.640 But back to what I was saying

00:35:46.080 That guy's question

00:35:46.720 So I had to take it

00:35:48.720 Serious

00:35:49.680 You know you can't 0.98

00:35:50.580 Half ass both things 0.98

00:35:51.760 So I was like 0.99

00:35:53.060 Waking up hungover

00:35:54.840 And then you have to get to

00:35:56.160 Filming and stuff like that

00:35:57.360 And you don't have your confidence

00:35:58.220 That you had

00:35:58.860 At the night before 1.00

00:35:59.880 With your five asshole friends 1.00

00:36:01.280 And yet 1.00

00:36:02.060 I was fucking killing it 0.99

00:36:03.380 I was on fire 0.99

00:36:04.080 Because I had the confidence

00:36:05.080 Of the booze

00:36:05.720 But then it just

00:36:06.740 It levels out in the morning 0.99

00:36:08.800 And you're fucking down 0.99

00:36:09.900 And now it's time 0.99

00:36:10.980 To entertain

00:36:11.540 The masses

00:36:12.840 You're talking

00:36:13.560 100,000

00:36:14.260 Million

00:36:14.620 Who knows

00:36:15.260 Yeah you have a huge channel

00:36:17.160 What's more important 0.99

00:36:18.300 Fucking Steve 0.99

00:36:19.600 And Kyle 1.00

00:36:20.580 And fucking 0.99

00:36:21.180 Whoever at the bar 1.00

00:36:22.740 Donnie

00:36:23.360 Yeah 1.00

00:36:24.080 Those assholes 1.00

00:36:26.220 Don't even remember 1.00

00:36:26.880 Because they were wasted too

00:36:27.980 Yeah

00:36:28.360 And they didn't have anything

00:36:29.220 To do really

00:36:29.880 The next morning

00:36:30.520 Maybe or whatever

00:36:31.300 But they didn't have to do

00:36:31.940 This the next morning

00:36:32.760 No

00:36:33.080 So yeah

00:36:34.480 You need to be

00:36:35.140 Confident

00:36:36.160 The next day

00:36:36.600 And look 1.00

00:36:36.900 Now that shit fades 1.00

00:36:38.580 Because sometimes 1.00

00:36:39.300 I wake up

00:36:39.700 Not feeling confident

00:36:40.560 Still to this day

00:36:41.800 You know

00:36:42.340 Okay so then

00:36:43.160 What's the difference

00:36:43.980 Because this is interesting

00:36:44.900 For me too man

00:36:45.860 Even hearing you talk

00:36:46.700 About this

00:36:47.020 Because I can totally

00:36:48.280 Relate to that

00:36:48.900 Like having the confidence

00:36:50.160 The night before

00:36:50.900 If you've been drinking

00:36:51.880 Or out having fun

00:36:52.760 With your buddies

00:36:53.300 But then suddenly

00:36:54.180 You know

00:36:55.640 It's just that thing

00:36:56.300 Is missing in the morning

00:36:57.400 And you're like 0.99

00:36:57.860 Damn 0.97

00:36:58.260 Yeah 0.99

00:36:59.200 It's hard to just get it

00:37:00.720 Yeah just go for a good run

00:37:02.800 Maybe have a black coffee

00:37:04.080 Go for a good run

00:37:05.540 Oh a good run helps huh

00:37:06.960 Push yourself

00:37:07.700 Yeah

00:37:08.260 You know

00:37:08.620 Overcome something

00:37:09.660 That's mentally tough

00:37:11.260 And then I don't know

00:37:12.800 Maybe you just hit

00:37:13.620 The reset button

00:37:14.340 But yeah

00:37:15.220 After you stop drinking

00:37:16.240 For a while

00:37:16.680 You lose that like 0.99

00:37:17.620 Like damn 0.99

00:37:19.140 This feels great 0.99

00:37:19.920 Waking up 0.99

00:37:20.700 Fucking sober 0.99

00:37:21.920 You know 0.99

00:37:22.320 But it like

00:37:23.560 It fades

00:37:24.300 You gotta find new ways

00:37:25.300 To you know

00:37:26.940 Get that feeling

00:37:28.000 Of like

00:37:28.620 Just freshness

00:37:29.760 In the morning

00:37:30.180 You're fresh

00:37:30.640 And ready to go

00:37:31.300 You wake up happy 1.00

00:37:32.400 Maybe stop jerking off 0.99

00:37:34.400 Or you know 1.00

00:37:35.300 Yeah

00:37:35.780 No sex 0.98

00:37:36.840 Maybe lay off the candy

00:37:39.020 At night

00:37:39.480 Yeah

00:37:40.720 But then

00:37:41.280 But then you start

00:37:42.200 To get to the part

00:37:42.780 Where it's like

00:37:43.260 What do you have

00:37:44.100 Do you do anything

00:37:44.900 You know

00:37:45.280 I bought a vape

00:37:46.520 Last week

00:37:47.040 And did

00:37:47.360 Freaking

00:37:47.760 Half a thing 0.99

00:37:49.000 A damn 0.99

00:37:49.360 Peach pear 1.00

00:37:49.940 Nerds

00:37:50.460 Or you know

00:37:51.180 Space

00:37:51.700 Whatever it's called

00:37:52.480 Oh you got one

00:37:52.840 Of the ones

00:37:53.220 That you juice up

00:37:53.960 Yourself

00:37:54.420 Yeah

00:37:54.980 I didn't even want to

00:37:56.900 Dude I went in there

00:37:57.760 And I didn't even know

00:37:58.140 What I was doing

00:37:58.780 And the guy in there

00:38:01.440 Was so

00:38:02.260 The guy looked like

00:38:03.280 Both of his parents

00:38:04.500 Were weed

00:38:05.360 Like he was so 0.99

00:38:06.500 Fucking high 0.99

00:38:07.160 Dude 1.00

00:38:07.340 Like if his mom

00:38:08.320 Came in

00:38:08.960 She would have been 0.78

00:38:09.820 In a cellophane bag

00:38:11.260 Right

00:38:11.500 Do you smoke cigarettes

00:38:12.940 Uh uh uh

00:38:13.760 Are you addicted

00:38:14.740 To nicotine

00:38:15.300 No

00:38:15.980 But I just needed

00:38:17.440 Something to get

00:38:18.200 And the flavors

00:38:18.940 They're coming out with

00:38:19.780 You know

00:38:20.040 I love like

00:38:20.920 Banana pudding

00:38:21.700 I love

00:38:22.420 Creme brulee

00:38:23.380 Sounds like

00:38:23.880 You're going down

00:38:24.520 It's a dark road bro

00:38:26.480 So next thing I'm in there

00:38:27.600 Dude I have like

00:38:28.140 Nine different dessert vapes

00:38:29.820 Dude I'm leaving out of there

00:38:30.880 I mean it was like

00:38:31.760 A cheesecake factory page

00:38:33.340 Yeah that place ain't for you

00:38:34.640 That place ain't for you 0.97

00:38:36.240 Um

00:38:37.540 But yeah having some kind of advice

00:38:39.740 Some kind of thing I want

00:38:41.020 Having to reset myself

00:38:42.540 When I don't feel good

00:38:43.340 That's the toughest thing to do

00:38:44.400 I feel like for me

00:38:45.460 When I'm not feeling good

00:38:46.640 And it probably has nothing to do

00:38:48.380 With anything external in the world

00:38:50.060 It's all internal

00:38:51.600 How do I reset myself

00:38:53.500 To be able to be

00:38:54.760 Okay to others

00:38:56.360 First of all

00:38:57.120 And then okay to myself

00:38:58.340 And have a productive day

00:38:59.640 And then I think

00:39:01.460 That is

00:39:01.840 That probably is

00:39:02.680 Some type of a success

00:39:03.620 If you can figure out

00:39:04.740 Whatever that is

00:39:05.920 For some people

00:39:06.780 Maybe it is

00:39:07.380 You have a family

00:39:08.080 For some people

00:39:08.660 Maybe it is

00:39:09.300 You do something

00:39:10.460 For someone else

00:39:11.520 You know

00:39:11.900 Yeah

00:39:12.240 Go for a run

00:39:13.580 Sometimes doing a yoga

00:39:14.820 Or something

00:39:15.080 If I can just get over

00:39:16.000 That hump of uncomfort

00:39:17.260 Sometimes it's just a hill

00:39:18.400 Yeah

00:39:19.040 You know

00:39:19.720 Um

00:39:20.280 But anyway

00:39:21.840 I didn't mean to go off on that

00:39:22.580 I just love thinking 0.99

00:39:23.360 Maybe go on a fucking 0.99

00:39:24.100 A hundred thousand dollar 0.99

00:39:26.320 Hawaiian vacation

00:39:27.260 You know 1.00

00:39:28.320 Damn man 0.99

00:39:29.180 I think that could help 1.00

00:39:30.180 Maybe that'll fucking help you 0.98

00:39:31.420 Hit the reset button 0.99

00:39:32.500 Yeah that could definitely help

00:39:33.880 Man

00:39:34.200 I've not been on that

00:39:35.320 Did we talk

00:39:36.000 Did we talk about money

00:39:36.960 And happiness

00:39:37.700 We just said

00:39:39.660 I mean

00:39:39.940 I've

00:39:40.520 You know

00:39:40.920 I didn't have any money

00:39:41.720 And then I've made some money

00:39:42.920 I don't have a ton of money

00:39:43.960 But I've made some money

00:39:45.220 And I don't know if it may

00:39:46.100 I do not think it's made me any happier

00:39:47.860 Yeah

00:39:48.520 Even liquid death

00:39:50.340 He's not happy enough

00:39:51.360 Yeah 1.00

00:39:51.840 You gotta fucking 1.00

00:39:52.380 Fucking step it up 1.00

00:39:53.620 Here's somebody right here 0.99

00:39:55.220 Who's obviously unhappy

00:39:56.240 Hey hey

00:39:57.620 It's Michael McNeil

00:39:58.460 I'm from Dallas, Texas

00:39:59.760 This is the happiest guy

00:40:03.200 I've ever seen in my life

00:40:04.000 Hey hey it's Michael McNeil

00:40:04.180 I'm from Dallas, Texas

00:40:04.700 Don't judge a book by its cover

00:40:06.040 Huh

00:40:06.320 Texas

00:40:07.360 I freaking love you Theo

00:40:08.100 You're one of my favorite comedians 0.65

00:40:09.640 On the freaking planet 0.99

00:40:11.000 Oh damn 1.00

00:40:11.200 Listen to you on the daily 1.00

00:40:12.620 My question

00:40:13.680 You owe this guy an apology man

00:40:15.280 What was the greatest lesson

00:40:17.960 That you learned

00:40:19.060 Being in prison

00:40:20.600 And how does it translate

00:40:22.460 Into your business

00:40:24.440 Or your personal life

00:40:26.140 And Theo

00:40:27.440 You definitely look like someone

00:40:29.060 Who's been to prison

00:40:30.900 And came out with a rough

00:40:32.980 Rough life

00:40:34.180 So what's your life lesson Theo

00:40:35.880 Love you guys

00:40:37.220 Gang gang 0.75

00:40:38.220 Gang gang 0.75

00:40:39.080 Gang baby 0.91

00:40:40.240 That's a great question Jeffrey

00:40:42.460 Since you really have the prison experience

00:40:44.300 Amongst us

00:40:44.700 Did you go to federal prison

00:40:45.900 No I was in jail

00:40:46.680 Okay

00:40:47.020 You went to Miami Dade

00:40:48.360 I saw that

00:40:49.000 You spent Christmas

00:40:49.760 I was out here

00:40:50.820 Or New Year's

00:40:51.060 Would you spend

00:40:51.540 Yeah

00:40:52.540 I've been locked up

00:40:54.900 Several times

00:40:55.820 But I never did like

00:40:57.740 I never did prison

00:40:58.620 That's after

00:40:59.280 Once you go over a year

00:41:00.540 That's prison

00:41:01.700 So I've only been to jail

00:41:02.760 But um

00:41:03.820 Yeah

00:41:04.660 Life lessons that I've learned 0.98

00:41:06.180 Is fucking don't 1.00

00:41:07.460 Do stupid shit 1.00

00:41:08.220 And go back 1.00

00:41:08.740 Cause it sucks 0.96

00:41:09.420 It's not like 0.98

00:41:10.000 There's not people in there

00:41:11.240 That are interesting to talk to

00:41:12.380 You know

00:41:12.700 Oh really

00:41:13.360 Maybe I'd find a gem

00:41:14.380 Like you and I'd hang out 0.99

00:41:15.400 And we'd fucking hit it off 0.96

00:41:16.800 You know 0.90

00:41:17.120 Yeah thanks

00:41:17.800 That's rare

00:41:18.760 That you get that

00:41:19.640 Cause

00:41:19.820 It's not smart people

00:41:21.580 That get arrested

00:41:22.420 And

00:41:23.460 Wow

00:41:24.180 My bunkie was

00:41:25.180 In there for murder

00:41:26.240 And when I asked him

00:41:27.200 Finally

00:41:27.560 I worked up the courage

00:41:28.460 To ask him

00:41:28.860 What he was in there for

00:41:29.580 He was like

00:41:30.560 I shot at somebody 0.98

00:41:31.840 And I hit him in the head 0.93

00:41:32.700 And I'm like 1.00

00:41:34.040 The fuck 1.00

00:41:34.840 You fucking 1.00

00:41:35.480 So you fucking 1.00

00:41:36.200 Shot a guy in the head 1.00

00:41:37.040 Unique way to say it 0.99

00:41:38.100 Yeah

00:41:38.420 Yeah

00:41:39.160 But I guess

00:41:40.760 Like it was the guy's fault

00:41:42.020 Yeah

00:41:42.440 Yeah

00:41:43.140 Like it was the guy's fault 1.00

00:41:45.000 But fuck 1.00

00:41:46.320 I guess it's like 1.00

00:41:47.020 If you're doing 0.99

00:41:47.720 Like gangster shit 0.99

00:41:49.040 And you're just 1.00

00:41:49.420 Shooting that 1.00

00:41:49.960 Fucking 1.00

00:41:50.300 Like you're not actually 0.99

00:41:51.220 Maybe he wasn't

00:41:52.040 Intending to kill the guy

00:41:53.080 Right

00:41:53.560 Maybe he was just

00:41:54.040 Trying to scare him

00:41:54.980 You know 1.00

00:41:55.280 And he fucking 0.99

00:41:55.720 I guess that's how 0.99

00:41:56.740 He was trying to phrase it

00:41:57.560 Or maybe that's how

00:41:58.340 He lives it himself

00:41:59.000 And convinces himself

00:41:59.980 But um 0.98

00:42:01.100 But how dumb it is 0.99

00:42:01.760 To be able to shoot 1.00

00:42:02.180 Aimlessly

00:42:02.480 At least if you're smart 0.96

00:42:03.600 You're gonna shoot 0.99

00:42:04.360 Where you want to shoot 0.99

00:42:05.720 Yeah

00:42:06.560 So then it's like 1.00

00:42:07.420 Oh I'm gonna shoot him 1.00

00:42:08.480 In the leg 1.00

00:42:08.880 So he doesn't die

00:42:10.100 Yeah

00:42:10.380 And I still get to be

00:42:11.560 A shooter

00:42:12.120 Yeah

00:42:12.680 You know

00:42:13.440 Whereas I'm just

00:42:14.100 Gonna shoot anywhere

00:42:14.900 And see what happens 0.98

00:42:15.740 You're gonna leave it up

00:42:16.420 To the luck of the bullets

00:42:17.360 Yeah

00:42:17.840 That's insane

00:42:18.700 Maybe he needs

00:42:19.400 I don't know

00:42:20.280 He obviously

00:42:21.560 He needs specificity

00:42:22.640 He obviously wasn't

00:42:23.640 The smartest guy

00:42:24.640 Which is my point

00:42:25.380 There's not much

00:42:26.000 You can learn in there

00:42:26.900 You know

00:42:27.560 It's very political

00:42:28.320 It doesn't really

00:42:28.960 Make much sense

00:42:29.900 You know

00:42:30.340 The inmates

00:42:31.620 Give each other

00:42:32.800 A bunch of rules

00:42:33.520 And if you break them

00:42:35.420 Then you're getting

00:42:36.680 Beat up by your own people 0.99

00:42:37.860 And I don't know

00:42:39.360 Was it scary?

00:42:40.620 Yeah

00:42:40.860 It's

00:42:41.460 Of course

00:42:42.340 Yeah

00:42:42.640 But you know

00:42:43.360 I'm sure you get used to it

00:42:44.520 Over time

00:42:45.740 You know

00:42:46.460 Were you angry

00:42:47.240 At like the system

00:42:48.260 Were you angry

00:42:48.820 At yourself

00:42:49.580 Like at that point

00:42:50.520 In your life 1.00

00:42:50.940 Like I fucking 1.00

00:42:51.880 Got arrested 1.00

00:42:52.680 For the dumbest shit 1.00

00:42:53.640 It's never something planned 1.00

00:42:54.840 You know

00:42:55.440 It's usually something

00:42:56.140 That you just slip up

00:42:57.120 You know

00:42:58.280 Yeah

00:42:58.980 It's not even

00:43:00.120 Like

00:43:00.640 I've done 0.99

00:43:01.740 Way worse shit 0.93

00:43:02.840 That I haven't gotten 0.99

00:43:03.520 In trouble for

00:43:04.140 Never like hurt anybody

00:43:05.680 And nothing violent

00:43:06.580 But like

00:43:07.120 Yeah

00:43:07.940 So it's just

00:43:09.000 Guilt 0.95

00:43:09.760 I feel dumb

00:43:10.780 And then like 0.90

00:43:12.220 The only thing you can really do

00:43:13.240 Is read like a bible

00:43:14.800 Or go to church

00:43:15.800 They have like a church

00:43:16.680 On Sunday

00:43:17.200 Oh really?

00:43:18.120 Yeah

00:43:18.380 God will find you

00:43:19.500 In jail

00:43:20.420 Yeah

00:43:20.860 You know

00:43:21.140 And even

00:43:21.580 Like the

00:43:23.020 The pastor

00:43:23.780 Priest or whatever

00:43:24.540 He's like

00:43:25.680 Telling you

00:43:26.200 Like you were put here

00:43:26.920 For a reason

00:43:27.540 And like

00:43:28.460 That'll really

00:43:29.120 Like get you

00:43:29.700 Cause you're

00:43:30.280 Like I'm here

00:43:31.020 I was here

00:43:31.880 Put here for a reason

00:43:32.640 Maybe it is to find God

00:43:33.860 Yeah

00:43:34.220 That's why everybody leaves

00:43:35.400 Lord it up

00:43:36.560 Oh yeah

00:43:37.000 And did you find

00:43:38.420 Where did you have

00:43:38.900 Some

00:43:39.100 A couple weeks

00:43:39.660 Where you were like

00:43:40.040 In the

00:43:40.340 Where you really got

00:43:40.980 Into the Lord club

00:43:41.720 Kind of

00:43:42.700 Um

00:43:43.600 Well I was raised

00:43:44.920 I believe in God

00:43:46.040 So

00:43:46.320 Yeah I believe

00:43:47.040 I believe in God

00:43:47.800 God too

00:43:48.140 Yeah

00:43:48.600 Um

00:43:49.400 I don't know

00:43:49.900 What exact religion

00:43:51.340 Fits me perfectly

00:43:52.600 Right now

00:43:53.060 At this moment

00:43:53.580 Cause like

00:43:53.940 The catholic church

00:43:55.000 Did all that stuff

00:43:55.620 With the kids

00:43:56.060 And stuff like that

00:43:56.660 I don't know

00:43:57.020 I don't want to get

00:43:57.440 Into stuff like that

00:43:58.320 But um

00:43:59.860 Yeah I believe in God

00:44:00.820 Well humans falter

00:44:02.740 So much trying to

00:44:03.620 Cause you're trying

00:44:05.320 To share the

00:44:06.540 Or you're trying

00:44:07.300 To share the message

00:44:08.460 Of something that's

00:44:09.520 It's a lot of pressure

00:44:12.080 For anybody to put

00:44:13.500 It's a lot of pressure

00:44:15.140 To put on humans

00:44:16.180 To convey

00:44:18.060 I feel like

00:44:19.520 The ability

00:44:21.600 And the

00:44:22.440 The truth

00:44:25.660 Of what a God is

00:44:26.780 I feel like

00:44:27.280 It doesn't seem like

00:44:28.040 Is it only human

00:44:28.980 Like no matter

00:44:29.740 If they're the priest

00:44:30.540 Or the bishop

00:44:31.700 Or whatever

00:44:32.140 It's like

00:44:32.500 That's a lot of 0.99

00:44:33.840 Fucking pressure 0.98

00:44:34.520 That this dude's 0.99

00:44:35.280 Gonna be the filter 1.00

00:44:36.080 For that kind of shit 1.00

00:44:37.260 Yeah 1.00

00:44:37.640 Yeah

00:44:38.200 So you mask that

00:44:39.520 You know

00:44:39.720 You take that

00:44:40.240 Kind of like

00:44:40.720 That

00:44:41.140 I think a lot

00:44:42.560 Of those guys

00:44:42.940 Get a lot of

00:44:43.440 Power hungry

00:44:44.240 Power happy

00:44:45.200 A lot of them

00:44:46.180 Run jets now

00:44:47.040 And stuff dude

00:44:47.940 Wearing like

00:44:48.540 Oh have you seen

00:44:49.520 Righteous Gemstones

00:44:50.440 On HBO

00:44:51.300 I love that show

00:44:52.420 God I wanted to be

00:44:53.100 On there

00:44:53.520 That's actually

00:44:54.660 The inspiration

00:44:55.100 Behind the mullet

00:44:55.840 Kenny Powers

00:44:56.640 Not in that show

00:44:57.620 Yeah

00:44:57.980 But eastbound and down

00:44:58.900 Oh of course

00:44:59.520 For me to get the moment

00:45:00.420 I was like 0.99

00:45:00.760 Fucking I'm jumping 1.00

00:45:01.560 Out of these planes 0.99

00:45:02.220 Of course dude 1.00

00:45:02.580 Fucking 0.98

00:45:02.880 Northeastbound and up dude 0.99

00:45:04.520 Yeah

00:45:05.220 What do you mean

00:45:05.840 Jeff Wittick

00:45:06.500 Northeast

00:45:06.860 Oh yeah

00:45:07.320 Or just like

00:45:08.100 I was just saying

00:45:08.860 Where you're from

00:45:09.340 But

00:45:09.580 I'm just

00:45:11.640 Yeah I wanna

00:45:12.140 Be on the same 0.98

00:45:13.160 Wavelength as you feel

00:45:14.160 Your brain

00:45:15.040 You got an interesting

00:45:15.640 Brain

00:45:15.960 You're one of a kind

00:45:16.660 You got one

00:45:17.440 You have a specific

00:45:18.480 Style in your comedy

00:45:20.080 That I don't know

00:45:22.020 Who you are even

00:45:22.740 Close to

00:45:23.320 Who I can compare you to

00:45:24.180 You know

00:45:24.540 It's

00:45:25.840 Thanks man

00:45:26.560 You know what I'm saying

00:45:27.240 Right

00:45:27.520 Well I think you have

00:45:28.620 A real ability man

00:45:29.560 That people love you

00:45:30.580 For some reason

00:45:31.400 Yeah I don't know

00:45:32.560 What it is

00:45:33.100 Did you switch out

00:45:34.260 Producers

00:45:34.880 Cause I

00:45:35.240 Watched a podcast

00:45:36.400 Episode

00:45:36.780 I thought you had

00:45:37.240 Like a small Asian 1.00

00:45:38.120 Boy

00:45:38.820 Or was helping you out

00:45:39.980 In Nashville

00:45:40.540 We have a fella

00:45:41.220 Oh yeah

00:45:42.040 Yeah named Riley

00:45:42.880 He's

00:45:43.320 Yep he's still around

00:45:45.120 He does a lot of

00:45:45.720 He does a lot of

00:45:46.280 Stuff with the church

00:45:46.920 He's with the church

00:45:47.840 And so it's hard

00:45:49.120 To get a hold of him

00:45:50.060 You know he's doing

00:45:50.940 He does outings

00:45:51.820 Boy scouts

00:45:52.560 He's in a

00:45:53.040 Oh yeah

00:45:53.720 He's a man

00:45:54.240 How old is he

00:45:54.680 Still doing boy scouts

00:45:55.500 So he's

00:45:56.120 He's 20 I think

00:45:57.640 20

00:45:57.900 I got a bunch of

00:45:58.500 20 year olds

00:45:58.920 Working for me 1.00

00:45:59.460 Setting up my shit 0.99

00:46:00.260 And they all 1.00

00:46:01.140 They're all fucking idiots 1.00

00:46:02.040 They have no credentials 1.00

00:46:02.920 To be doing any of this stuff

00:46:03.980 But I love them

00:46:04.520 They make me happy

00:46:05.200 You know

00:46:05.700 I don't care if

00:46:06.900 You know

00:46:07.280 You have all this 1.00

00:46:09.000 Fucking gear and stuff 1.00

00:46:10.140 If you just 1.00

00:46:10.700 Make me happy

00:46:11.680 You just gotta be

00:46:12.120 In a good mood

00:46:12.620 To film sometimes

00:46:13.420 You know

00:46:13.740 Like this guy

00:46:14.500 When I first came in here

00:46:15.500 And saw him

00:46:16.000 He got me right out of it

00:46:17.340 You know

00:46:17.640 Yeah he loves you

00:46:18.440 Nick's a big fan of yours

00:46:19.480 Thank you Nick

00:46:20.560 Big fan of yours too

00:46:21.540 Thank you for setting this up

00:46:22.760 Yeah Nick's done a

00:46:23.560 Nick's done a great job man

00:46:24.600 He's helped this podcast

00:46:25.540 So much over the years

00:46:26.580 But yeah having a 0.98

00:46:27.380 Fucking bunch of 1.00

00:46:28.020 20 year olds 1.00

00:46:28.660 You know

00:46:29.000 That energy is fun

00:46:30.100 Cause they're just like

00:46:30.740 They're

00:46:31.360 It's so funny

00:46:32.440 They smoke vapes

00:46:33.280 And stuff

00:46:33.640 They say no cap

00:46:34.800 All the time

00:46:35.340 Like stop saying 1.00

00:46:35.960 That fucking shit 1.00

00:46:36.620 Around here 1.00

00:46:37.140 Yeah they're all

00:46:38.080 Wearing chains

00:46:38.920 And like getting

00:46:39.360 DaBaby tattoos 1.00

00:46:40.480 And shit 0.99

00:46:40.980 It's fucking pretty hype 1.00

00:46:42.040 The little Uzi Vert 0.98

00:46:43.060 And stuff like that

00:46:44.280 They keep me

00:46:45.760 Young

00:46:46.960 But also

00:46:47.760 You know

00:46:48.540 Now I might

00:46:49.320 What if there's a draft

00:46:50.620 We might lose them all

00:46:51.380 You know

00:46:51.720 I'm having

00:46:52.120 No team

00:46:53.180 They'll rope up

00:46:55.020 All my 20 year old guys

00:46:56.080 Can you even imagine

00:46:56.900 If there's a draft

00:46:58.320 Dude

00:46:58.600 We're gonna be

00:46:59.180 Basically

00:46:59.640 It's gonna be a bunch of people

00:47:00.760 Hiding with vapes

00:47:02.400 On the front line

00:47:03.000 That's exactly

00:47:04.340 Who it's gonna be

00:47:04.900 The 20 year olds now 0.99

00:47:05.880 Damn 1.00

00:47:06.860 We're fucked now 1.00

00:47:08.240 They're all gonna be 1.00

00:47:09.540 Doing those

00:47:10.060 Like looted 1.00

00:47:10.860 Fucking 1.00

00:47:11.340 TikToks 1.00

00:47:12.840 And shit 0.99

00:47:13.220 They're gonna be 1.00

00:47:13.800 Yeah

00:47:14.140 Those are viral

00:47:16.120 TikToks

00:47:16.700 That war in Afghanistan

00:47:17.960 I haven't seen those yet

00:47:19.420 Those new ones

00:47:20.060 You haven't seen the ones

00:47:20.780 Everyone hanging on the plane

00:47:22.440 I've seen some of that yesterday

00:47:24.660 Yes

00:47:25.180 But I haven't seen 1.00

00:47:27.060 That shit 1.00

00:47:27.900 Doesn't drive you fucking nuts 1.00

00:47:29.880 Like 0.99

00:47:30.420 We're over here talking about

00:47:31.600 Oh it's tough to get in here

00:47:32.460 Do a podcast once a week

00:47:33.520 And these guys are hanging on the sides of planes 1.00

00:47:35.320 Cause their lives are so shit 0.99

00:47:36.740 Right 1.00

00:47:37.220 But it's like

00:47:37.960 It does

00:47:39.440 But then it's like

00:47:40.500 If it weren't for social media and stuff

00:47:42.400 I wouldn't know about that

00:47:44.880 Which is

00:47:45.260 Or some of it I wouldn't see

00:47:46.580 And it's okay

00:47:47.100 It doesn't mean that I don't want to know about it

00:47:49.160 But it's interesting

00:47:50.720 The amount of stuff we know about now

00:47:52.560 I don't know if we can handle it

00:47:53.980 As humans

00:47:54.880 I don't know if we're built to handle all of this stuff

00:47:57.220 It's like

00:47:57.640 Somebody you know

00:47:58.700 Because then what can you or I do

00:48:00.740 We could donate

00:48:01.480 We could

00:48:02.120 Join the service

00:48:03.320 If we get drafted

00:48:04.220 Yeah

00:48:04.820 We could help an Afghan friend or something

00:48:07.500 I think joining the service

00:48:08.940 Is the only like actual thing

00:48:10.500 That we could do really

00:48:11.440 Like posting something on your social media

00:48:13.120 Yeah you're bringing awareness to it

00:48:14.620 But there's enough awareness bro

00:48:16.060 There's so much awareness

00:48:17.500 We don't need any more awareness 0.99

00:48:19.280 I know people is dumb 0.99

00:48:20.780 I know people is starving 1.00

00:48:22.040 I know people are doing rapes 1.00

00:48:25.720 I know people are unhappy 0.90

00:48:28.560 I know people are mentally unwell

00:48:30.060 I live inside of one 0.93

00:48:31.380 I know people that shot people in the head

00:48:32.960 Yeah

00:48:33.480 There you go

00:48:34.120 Yeah

00:48:34.480 Yeah dude

00:48:35.020 You know

00:48:35.300 Even though it was a guy who moved his head

00:48:37.060 Then the bullets fall 1.00

00:48:37.940 Yeah fuck man 1.00

00:48:40.940 But the awareness 1.00

00:48:41.660 It's too much

00:48:42.420 Yeah we don't need any more awareness

00:48:43.760 I'm so aware bro

00:48:45.360 That it's like

00:48:45.940 But it's money for people

00:48:47.020 Because it's clicks

00:48:47.720 You know we need clicks 0.98

00:48:48.680 We need to fucking get some clicks on this 0.99

00:48:50.800 You pro-vax or anti 0.99

00:48:52.360 Huh?

00:48:53.600 We gotta get into some

00:48:54.620 Let's talk Taliban 1.00

00:48:55.480 Let's talk fucking building 7 1.00

00:48:57.120 We'll go to 1.00

00:48:57.740 You wanna get into real shit 1.00

00:48:58.360 Let's get some 0.99

00:48:58.900 Let's get this going

00:49:00.100 If you don't believe in tower 7

00:49:01.020 Building 7

00:49:01.660 Oh yeah

00:49:02.520 If you don't believe in tower 7

00:49:03.840 I don't even know who you are bro

00:49:05.440 Inside job

00:49:05.980 It was an inside job

00:49:06.840 I mean look

00:49:07.300 There's a guy running out

00:49:08.320 With an IJ tattoo on his wrist

00:49:09.920 You can see it bro

00:49:10.680 They found it in a video

00:49:11.580 My mom was in

00:49:12.460 She was in the tower

00:49:13.420 She was in the first tower

00:49:14.260 I know she was a secretary

00:49:15.300 I saw in the video

00:49:16.040 She got out

00:49:16.140 Yeah but she doesn't think

00:49:17.420 It's an inside job

00:49:18.040 I'm always trying to get her

00:49:18.980 I'm like

00:49:19.400 Having the kids

00:49:20.500 And my 20 year old employees

00:49:22.080 They'll call her

00:49:23.200 And they'll be like

00:49:23.640 We believe it was aliens

00:49:25.440 That flew the planes in

00:49:26.760 And my mom's like

00:49:27.840 What are these guys smoking

00:49:29.560 That are working for you

00:49:30.560 Yeah 1.00

00:49:31.500 Aliens flew the fucking planes 1.00

00:49:34.380 Into the towers 1.00

00:49:35.100 She's like

00:49:35.560 Get a job

00:49:36.560 Yeah

00:49:37.060 Yeah

00:49:38.180 Yeah she thinks

00:49:39.340 Everything I do 1.00

00:49:39.940 Is fucking 0.99

00:49:40.400 I don't know 1.00

00:49:41.340 She watches all my stuff

00:49:42.720 Oh of course man

00:49:43.620 My mom does too

00:49:44.500 Oh yeah

00:49:45.440 Yeah

00:49:45.820 I think it makes them feel

00:49:46.980 Like closer to you

00:49:48.080 Or I don't know

00:49:48.660 I think

00:49:49.080 I'm sure my mom

00:49:49.700 Has gotten to know me

00:49:50.600 Way better through my podcast

00:49:52.340 Than ever as a human

00:49:53.500 I never talked about drug use

00:49:55.140 In front of my parents 1.00

00:49:56.180 Any vulnerable shit 0.99

00:49:57.440 Nothing 0.97

00:49:57.840 Even that stuff I said about

00:49:59.580 I might get yelled at

00:50:00.920 Because it's saying

00:50:01.320 I'm not Catholic 0.62

00:50:02.040 Technically anymore 0.91

00:50:03.040 I might get whapped

00:50:04.600 When I leave 0.60

00:50:05.500 My mom might be waiting

00:50:06.380 In the parking lot

00:50:07.140 You know

00:50:08.540 They're driving across country

00:50:10.360 Right now

00:50:10.660 They got an RV

00:50:11.240 They're retired

00:50:11.960 They're coming to see you

00:50:12.820 Yeah

00:50:13.260 Yeah they're driving

00:50:14.220 Across the country

00:50:14.880 They're stopping

00:50:15.320 At some campgrounds

00:50:16.280 And stuff like that

00:50:17.000 Do they stay at like

00:50:17.960 KOA and stuff like that

00:50:19.860 I don't know what that is

00:50:21.700 It's like a

00:50:22.740 It's just a

00:50:23.620 It's like a safe enough

00:50:24.880 Is that like a trail park term

00:50:26.040 Yeah KOA is like

00:50:27.940 They got clean bathrooms

00:50:29.680 Sometimes they have like

00:50:30.480 A little group center

00:50:32.280 In the middle

00:50:32.740 Oh there we go

00:50:33.520 Yeah I think they're doing

00:50:34.660 Stuff like this

00:50:35.360 I sent

00:50:35.940 I was out in Malibu

00:50:36.980 Shooting some stuff

00:50:37.840 And I found a campsite

00:50:39.160 That was on the water

00:50:39.880 And I sent the

00:50:40.820 Like a video to my dad

00:50:42.100 And he was like 1.00

00:50:42.620 That is expensive shit 1.00

00:50:45.280 Like I'm gonna find 1.00

00:50:46.100 Like a piece of shit 1.00

00:50:47.280 Lot for fucking 20 bucks 1.00

00:50:49.080 Yeah he was pissed off 1.00

00:50:51.400 He just gets pissed

00:50:52.040 I'm just sending him

00:50:52.820 A video you know

00:50:54.160 Yeah

00:50:54.460 Look at this nice campground

00:50:56.060 He gets mad

00:50:57.380 Do you think getting mad

00:50:59.620 Is like a New Yorker 0.97

00:51:00.760 Is just it's a natural first

00:51:02.120 It's like saying hello

00:51:03.240 A little bit

00:51:03.860 Yeah it wouldn't be normal

00:51:04.800 If he was like

00:51:06.100 Oh that's really nice

00:51:06.860 I would love to visit

00:51:07.580 I'd be like 1.00

00:51:08.500 What the fuck dad 1.00

00:51:09.440 What'd you 1.00

00:51:10.800 You fucking turn gay 1.00

00:51:12.360 Or something 1.00

00:51:12.700 Yeah what's going on 0.99

00:51:13.660 Pop you gay or what 1.00

00:51:14.720 You got something 1.00

00:51:15.540 To tell me and mom

00:51:16.660 Huh

00:51:17.240 Let me get grandma on the line 1.00

00:51:18.980 Oh shit 1.00

00:51:20.000 Grandma's dead 1.00

00:51:20.640 We'll get a Ouija board 0.68

00:51:21.740 She needs to hear this

00:51:23.160 Yeah

00:51:23.600 What about this right here

00:51:27.520 What do you think about this

00:51:28.500 Man this just happened

00:51:29.480 Look at that body 0.74

00:51:30.500 On the pitcher

00:51:31.080 Baseball players

00:51:32.940 Physiques are so funny to me

00:51:34.640 You know

00:51:34.980 Cause they're athletes

00:51:35.720 They're pro athletes

00:51:36.440 But they don't have to be

00:51:37.860 Like ripped

00:51:38.860 They're like UFC fighters

00:51:39.880 You have to use every pound

00:51:41.320 On your body

00:51:41.960 That's a good point

00:51:42.940 That's like muscle

00:51:43.040 You know 0.99

00:51:43.440 These guys don't give a fuck 0.99

00:51:45.120 They're out doing blow 1.00

00:51:46.120 And fucking eating fried chicken 1.00

00:51:47.460 And then they get up 1.00

00:51:48.760 The next day

00:51:49.180 And just throw

00:51:49.840 A 99 mile an hour

00:51:50.960 Fastball

00:51:51.600 That's really all

00:51:52.920 You gotta worry about

00:51:53.640 Just this thing

00:51:54.780 Making sure this is good

00:51:55.860 That might be the

00:51:56.740 You might be talking

00:51:57.360 About the white socks

00:51:58.140 Specifically

00:51:58.700 But there are a lot

00:51:59.800 Of good

00:52:00.120 I think there's a lot

00:52:00.920 I think some guys

00:52:02.460 Every now and then

00:52:03.260 You get that still

00:52:03.980 Kind of thicky thick

00:52:04.960 Guy out there

00:52:06.520 Now what do you do

00:52:08.760 With showing up

00:52:09.120 Now that guy's got

00:52:09.420 Some beef on him

00:52:10.220 Oh yeah he does

00:52:11.120 You're on him

00:52:11.620 He got a belly

00:52:12.340 I think I missed

00:52:18.100 The whole point

00:52:19.760 Of this video

00:52:20.300 So he said

00:52:21.360 Something racist to him

00:52:22.340 Yeah that was actually

00:52:23.080 That was it

00:52:23.840 This was actually him

00:52:24.760 He did

00:52:25.160 He did a little

00:52:25.940 Asian accent

00:52:26.760 Now what do you do

00:52:28.660 With showing up

00:52:29.380 This is the

00:52:29.580 See like

00:52:30.420 We can't change this

00:52:32.000 You know we have

00:52:32.680 No power over this

00:52:33.900 There's nothing we can

00:52:34.420 Do about this

00:52:35.040 Right

00:52:35.600 Yeah

00:52:36.080 We can't change this at all

00:52:37.460 We're spreading awareness

00:52:38.260 Right now

00:52:39.220 That's all we're doing

00:52:39.960 Did you see that video

00:52:41.100 Of the girls getting

00:52:41.960 Her hand bit by the alligator 0.99

00:52:43.220 I haven't

00:52:44.700 Can you look that up

00:52:45.580 Yeah do we want

00:52:46.280 To play this one

00:52:46.840 Yeah let's just

00:52:47.680 Get through this

00:52:48.200 What do you think

00:52:49.020 About this man

00:52:49.820 Did you hear the guy

00:52:50.600 He said

00:52:51.380 He's about to

00:52:51.980 He's about to do

00:52:52.580 The accent

00:52:52.940 And then they'll cut 0.51

00:52:53.660 To after his suspension

00:52:54.900 When he returned

00:52:55.600 And he apologizes

00:52:56.540 To the show

00:52:57.660 Howie Ohtani

00:52:58.080 Now what do you do

00:52:59.400 With show

00:52:59.800 Howie Ohtani

00:53:00.420 Be very better careful

00:53:02.720 Oh the announcer

00:53:04.480 Did it

00:53:05.000 Yeah

00:53:05.420 You didn't even

00:53:05.880 Notice it the first time

00:53:06.680 I didn't even

00:53:07.140 Notice it no

00:53:08.040 Dinger man 0.98

00:53:08.920 Damn you gotta know 1.00

00:53:10.360 Your fucking place 1.00

00:53:11.440 He got suspended 1.00

00:53:12.420 To for it

00:53:13.100 And here's his apology

00:53:14.120 Well folks

00:53:15.260 Shohei Ohtani

00:53:16.920 Is coming to the plate

00:53:17.840 And it's been brought

00:53:19.320 To my attention

00:53:19.980 And I sincerely

00:53:21.220 Apologize

00:53:22.900 If I offended anybody

00:53:24.140 Especially anybody

00:53:25.040 In the Asian community

00:53:26.460 For what I said

00:53:28.820 About pitching

00:53:29.660 And being careful

00:53:30.580 You just started

00:53:31.080 A world war bro

00:53:32.080 That's America's

00:53:33.800 Favorite pastime

00:53:34.580 We're putting 0.93

00:53:34.980 Chinese racism 0.76

00:53:36.000 In there 1.00

00:53:36.580 That's fucking terrible 0.99

00:53:38.120 I thought it was 0.99

00:53:38.880 The players going at it

00:53:39.820 Back and forth

00:53:40.520 And I'm like 1.00

00:53:41.300 This is just shit talk 0.99

00:53:42.140 At first 1.00

00:53:42.500 I wasn't paying attention

00:53:43.640 Really

00:53:43.960 I was thinking about

00:53:44.700 That alligator video

00:53:45.480 With the girl

00:53:45.960 And her hand

00:53:47.240 Getting caught in there

00:53:47.860 You would be dude

00:53:48.560 Yeah

00:53:48.860 But yeah

00:53:50.180 No that's terrible

00:53:50.940 Yeah do you think

00:53:52.120 You think it's terrible

00:53:53.060 That the guy did it

00:53:54.020 You gotta know your spot

00:53:56.580 You're an announcer

00:53:57.260 You know

00:53:57.940 Like I'm scared

00:53:59.140 To do live podcasts

00:54:00.380 Because I might slip up

00:54:01.520 I'm just 0.99

00:54:01.820 I don't give a fuck 0.92

00:54:02.560 About what I say sometimes 0.72

00:54:03.780 And there's like

00:54:04.520 No filters

00:54:05.040 So I won't do live

00:54:06.680 Sometimes

00:54:07.060 But this guy knows

00:54:07.840 You're live

00:54:08.640 And you don't have

00:54:10.480 A crew of 20 year olds

00:54:11.420 That are gonna edit

00:54:11.960 This after

00:54:12.480 You know

00:54:12.820 I got the story wrong

00:54:15.460 That was the same game

00:54:17.020 His next at bat

00:54:17.960 And today

00:54:19.060 He has been suspended

00:54:20.500 Indefinitely

00:54:21.200 Jack Morris

00:54:21.820 The announcer

00:54:22.240 Even after his

00:54:23.520 Apology on air

00:54:24.440 I feel like

00:54:27.060 You let the man

00:54:28.000 Have an apology

00:54:28.760 Maybe you

00:54:29.400 Maybe you suspend

00:54:30.200 Him a game

00:54:30.740 But I don't think

00:54:31.560 It goes any further

00:54:32.540 Than that

00:54:32.960 It didn't

00:54:33.460 I feel like you can

00:54:34.280 Blatantly hear from

00:54:35.040 His intention

00:54:35.620 That it didn't

00:54:36.300 He didn't mean

00:54:37.160 Anything

00:54:37.560 Maybe somebody

00:54:38.860 He knows

00:54:39.980 Who's Japanese 0.99

00:54:40.800 Has always said

00:54:42.160 That in his life

00:54:42.900 Sometimes you can

00:54:43.780 Have things stuck

00:54:44.380 In your head

00:54:44.960 That come out

00:54:45.660 Yeah

00:54:46.120 I don't know

00:54:46.760 Like baseball commentary

00:54:48.600 It's like

00:54:50.140 Maybe that's not for you

00:54:51.700 Maybe you wanted

00:54:52.200 To be a comedian

00:54:52.800 If you're trying

00:54:53.500 To make jokes

00:54:54.000 And get laughs

00:54:54.640 Maybe you should be

00:54:55.180 Trying that out

00:54:55.660 Of the laugh factory

00:54:56.420 You know

00:54:56.800 Not on a 0.99

00:54:58.120 Fucking baseball game 0.99

00:54:59.200 Yeah 1.00

00:55:00.220 But do you think

00:55:00.760 What do you think

00:55:01.240 Do you think

00:55:01.560 His intention

00:55:02.220 That's what I wonder

00:55:03.020 What was his intention

00:55:03.920 Trying to get laughs

00:55:06.560 The guy's also

00:55:07.560 Maybe 70 years old

00:55:08.820 Do we know how old he is

00:55:09.760 Just out of touch

00:55:12.240 Yeah

00:55:13.180 Probably

00:55:13.780 He needs some 0.99

00:55:14.980 Fucking woke 1.00

00:55:15.580 Kids around him 1.00

00:55:16.400 To teach him

00:55:16.940 You can't be doing 1.00

00:55:17.800 That shit 1.00

00:55:18.300 This is 2021 1.00

00:55:19.540 He needs some kids

00:55:20.620 To teach him

00:55:21.080 That aliens

00:55:21.920 Are

00:55:23.420 What did those kids 0.88

00:55:24.280 Say your parents

00:55:24.780 Did building seven

00:55:25.580 Yeah

00:55:26.100 That aliens did building seven 0.59

00:55:27.760 So you need to watch 1.00

00:55:28.860 Your fucking 1.00

00:55:29.300 Japanese accent 1.00

00:55:30.400 Okay

00:55:31.180 What are you doing man

00:55:32.640 Yeah we got bigger

00:55:33.480 Fish to fry dude

00:55:34.680 You're representing

00:55:34.840 Like our country here

00:55:36.540 Dude it's crazy

00:55:37.460 We can get China's flu 0.87

00:55:38.500 But we can't do

00:55:39.260 An accent of them 1.00

00:55:40.120 For two seconds

00:55:40.840 On a regular baseball game 1.00

00:55:42.640 They don't fuck around 1.00

00:55:43.720 They don't have 1.00

00:55:44.260 YouTube, Instagram 0.99

00:55:45.340 None of the shit we have 0.99

00:55:46.340 They ban everything 0.99

00:55:47.260 Except they do have

00:55:48.200 TikTok though man

00:55:49.120 Oh yeah

00:55:49.840 I have a Chinese

00:55:50.800 A friend of mine

00:55:51.500 Is a Chinese masseuse 1.00

00:55:52.400 This lady Yuli

00:55:53.240 And she

00:55:54.820 Shows me her TikToks

00:55:57.460 But how come

00:55:58.080 I don't see Chinese TikToks 1.00

00:55:59.900 I don't think

00:56:00.560 They let us see theirs

00:56:01.960 Really

00:56:02.620 So she has one

00:56:03.560 That she's able to use

00:56:04.340 I think because

00:56:05.100 I don't know

00:56:06.000 She is Chinese

00:56:06.720 Maybe her phone program

00:56:07.740 Is from China

00:56:08.560 Oh

00:56:09.640 Yeah

00:56:10.500 I think she'd be

00:56:10.920 Pan roaming

00:56:11.600 Pull up that

00:56:12.880 Pull up the crocodile video

00:56:13.920 If you can find it

00:56:14.820 Yeah sorry

00:56:15.200 This is interesting

00:56:15.820 And not to take away

00:56:17.640 From this

00:56:18.060 This is a serious issue

00:56:19.380 But this crocodile video

00:56:21.460 No it's not

00:56:22.100 You're gonna appreciate

00:56:23.120 Because this

00:56:24.380 This girl

00:56:25.140 They're both different crocodiles

00:56:26.420 One of them is

00:56:27.020 Frickin

00:56:27.340 One of the crocodiles

00:56:28.300 Is a big brother

00:56:30.120 And the other crocodile

00:56:31.000 Is an actual crocodile

00:56:32.700 Okay

00:56:33.700 Look at the way

00:56:34.460 This girl

00:56:34.960 Handled this situation here

00:56:36.740 I can see

00:56:37.520 You know

00:56:39.460 My

00:56:39.700 My sister

00:56:41.100 Doing something like this

00:56:43.080 Because she works with animals

00:56:44.200 She's a

00:56:44.760 Racehorse owner

00:56:47.420 She owns 0.99

00:56:47.800 Her racehorses

00:56:48.660 She lives out in Kentucky

00:56:49.680 For equestrian

00:56:50.460 No

00:56:51.340 Racehorses

00:56:52.680 Like thoroughbreds

00:56:54.060 So

00:56:54.420 And she does jiu-jitsu

00:56:56.500 So watch how this girl 1.00

00:56:57.720 Handles this

00:56:58.460 Because this animal 1.00

00:56:59.740 Goes to fucking terror 1.00

00:57:01.500 Look at that 0.99

00:57:03.860 Oh this is not the video

00:57:08.140 I saw on Instagram

00:57:08.940 It's got

00:57:09.340 It is

00:57:12.460 It is the same video

00:57:13.500 But I don't know why

00:57:14.400 They needed to break down

00:57:15.260 The backstory

00:57:15.820 On the crocodile's life

00:57:16.880 You know

00:57:17.880 That's how they do it now

00:57:18.980 Dude

00:57:19.280 Where it's

00:57:19.860 Who

00:57:20.320 It's a whole

00:57:21.000 Iceland documentary

00:57:22.060 Yeah

00:57:22.380 This thing was at

00:57:23.120 Nobu before

00:57:24.020 It showed up

00:57:24.960 Yeah

00:57:31.380 That's the one

00:57:31.880 We want

00:57:32.200 Warning

00:57:32.620 Reminds me of my

00:57:39.020 15 year old

00:57:39.580 French bulldog

00:57:40.260 The way

00:57:40.600 So look

00:57:45.000 She goes in there 0.64

00:57:45.720 Now with it

00:57:46.300 The thing's locked in

00:57:48.880 Look at the roll

00:57:49.580 Wow

00:57:50.340 She rolls with it 0.99

00:57:51.200 To save her arm

00:57:51.960 And then she

00:57:52.600 Body triangles him

00:57:53.620 Look at that

00:57:54.440 Body triangle

00:57:54.980 She must be

00:57:55.680 She must be

00:57:57.240 At least a

00:57:57.860 Purple belt

00:57:58.460 Right

00:57:59.520 Have you learned

00:58:00.900 That move yet

00:58:01.500 Yeah I think I have

00:58:03.300 I'm only one stripe

00:58:04.220 White belt

00:58:04.800 This is what you gotta do

00:58:06.780 To get the black belt

00:58:07.540 You gotta get in the

00:58:08.320 Croc tank

00:58:08.860 Oh I left last session

00:58:10.760 I couldn't even find parking

00:58:11.680 That's why

00:58:12.080 That's where I'm at

00:58:12.780 Right now

00:58:13.180 Oh yeah

00:58:13.900 Do you go through

00:58:15.520 Phases of stuff

00:58:16.540 Yeah I go through phases

00:58:18.020 Where literally

00:58:18.540 I'll get my ribs cracked

00:58:19.460 And I can't go

00:58:20.180 For two and a half weeks

00:58:20.900 That's what my

00:58:21.400 Biggest problem is

00:58:22.160 Oh so it's a body

00:58:23.220 You give it out

00:58:23.760 Yeah it really is

00:58:24.940 And that's almost sad

00:58:25.840 But part of that's

00:58:26.600 Depressing too

00:58:27.540 Yeah

00:58:28.020 But take me through

00:58:28.960 Some of this Jeff

00:58:29.420 This is interesting

00:58:30.060 Because this I feel like

00:58:30.760 Is a difference

00:58:31.200 Between you and me

00:58:31.680 Like I would like

00:58:32.880 To watch that

00:58:33.420 Shohei Otani thing

00:58:34.620 And talk about the race

00:58:35.560 And you're like no

00:58:36.280 You wanna get

00:58:37.480 You wanna see some racism

00:58:38.780 This girl's grappling 1.00

00:58:38.840 An alligator

00:58:39.480 She's using BJJ

00:58:40.920 You're right

00:58:41.280 A Brazilian art form

00:58:42.440 Of martial arts

00:58:43.700 And once we discuss it

00:58:44.520 I agree with you

00:58:45.300 Way better dude

00:58:46.280 Yeah

00:58:46.640 I love the way that

00:58:49.000 I don't wanna come on here

00:58:50.080 And start you know

00:58:51.100 No

00:58:51.460 Switching up topics

00:58:52.660 And stuff

00:58:53.040 If you had plans

00:58:53.640 To talk about that

00:58:54.320 We can go back

00:58:54.740 To the baseball stuff

00:58:55.500 No you know

00:58:56.220 Way more than I do

00:58:56.960 About how to do

00:58:57.460 This kind of thing man

00:58:58.300 I think this is good

00:58:59.900 And I think that you

00:59:01.380 I love the way you

00:59:02.560 Took us through it dude

00:59:03.180 I love the roll

00:59:04.040 I don't even know

00:59:04.900 If I would've noticed

00:59:05.700 The thing roll like that

00:59:07.040 Yeah

00:59:08.660 I don't know

00:59:09.680 Maybe

00:59:10.240 You know

00:59:11.060 Watch this

00:59:11.480 And she rolled 0.98

00:59:14.360 That's total BJJ

00:59:16.040 Right there

00:59:16.540 Yeah

00:59:16.800 And then

00:59:17.700 They wrapped it up

00:59:18.400 The body triangle

00:59:19.120 And while her hand's 1.00

00:59:20.660 Locked in teeth

00:59:21.380 There's teeth going

00:59:22.100 Through her wrist

00:59:22.680 Right now

00:59:23.120 She stays in

00:59:23.680 And look

00:59:23.900 To keep your composure

00:59:25.200 No nonsense

00:59:25.660 Keith Peterson

00:59:26.460 Jumping in there

00:59:27.220 At the end

00:59:27.700 Look at that

00:59:28.660 Yeah this guy was

00:59:30.620 Scared to get in there

00:59:31.340 He's like 1.00

00:59:31.840 Fuck man 1.00

00:59:32.360 I should've 1.00

00:59:33.120 Called in sick today

00:59:34.360 Who is he

00:59:35.160 Yeah he's the guy

00:59:36.220 That's the 0.94

00:59:37.540 What a freaking cop out 0.93

00:59:38.960 Yelling we got trouble 0.95

00:59:40.280 In here

00:59:40.580 When you're the dude

00:59:41.420 Who's supposed to be

00:59:42.200 Yeah

00:59:42.480 Yeah

00:59:43.220 Yeah

00:59:44.400 Thank god that girl 1.00

00:59:45.300 Is trained

00:59:46.340 You know

00:59:46.740 Yeah

00:59:47.280 That's crazy 0.93

00:59:48.080 She was a freaking pro 0.99

00:59:49.200 She's mentally tough too 1.00

00:59:49.740 Yeah

00:59:50.100 Yeah my sister does BJJ

00:59:52.180 She's a purple belt 0.81

00:59:53.440 So that reminds me

00:59:55.040 Of her kind of 0.81

00:59:55.840 Are you guys pretty close

00:59:56.880 Yeah I mean 1.00

00:59:58.120 I'll beat the shit 1.00

00:59:58.680 Out of her now 1.00

00:59:59.380 But that's like

01:00:00.360 She's older than me 1.00

01:00:01.260 So she used to kick my ass 1.00

01:00:02.600 When I was younger 1.00

01:00:03.180 But you know

01:00:04.100 I wouldn't

01:00:05.180 I wouldn't want to

01:00:05.960 You know

01:00:06.340 Roll with her

01:00:07.840 I would just

01:00:08.280 Get into a strike

01:00:08.900 Not with her

01:00:09.780 I would probably just 0.75

01:00:10.700 Push kick her away 1.00

01:00:11.780 You know

01:00:12.560 How McGregor

01:00:13.940 Starts his fights out

01:00:14.820 He throws the push kick

01:00:16.040 Test him

01:00:16.540 Just get away Karen 1.00

01:00:17.420 I don't want to

01:00:18.100 I don't want to go right now

01:00:18.940 We're 30s

01:00:19.620 We're in our 30s

01:00:20.940 Dude his first kick

01:00:22.560 My sister's name is Karen

01:00:23.580 You believe that

01:00:24.360 And I'm Jeff

01:00:25.320 My mom

01:00:26.020 Predicted memes

01:00:27.420 While the aliens 1.00

01:00:28.840 Were flying the fucking 1.00

01:00:29.740 Planes into the towers 1.00

01:00:31.380 My mom was out

01:00:32.120 Predicting memes

01:00:32.900 She knew

01:00:33.760 She's like 1.00

01:00:34.060 I'm gonna fuck my kids 1.00

01:00:34.940 For life 1.00

01:00:35.520 Right into Tower 7

01:00:36.600 Baby Tower 7

01:00:37.340 Productions dude

01:00:38.240 That's our new

01:00:39.020 Production company

01:00:39.780 Jeff and Karen

01:00:40.620 Oh is this McGregor's tweets

01:00:43.580 But dude

01:00:44.220 McGregor does do that

01:00:45.660 It's like

01:00:46.200 Yeah he's like

01:00:46.740 Back up Karen 0.98

01:00:47.520 It's almost like

01:00:48.140 You want

01:00:48.420 Like you got a homeless guy

01:00:49.400 Coming at you on the street

01:00:50.200 I don't want to risk

01:00:51.360 You know

01:00:51.760 Catching any

01:00:52.320 Like blood

01:00:53.200 Blood to blood

01:00:54.240 Contacts

01:00:54.840 So let me just

01:00:55.400 Push kick 0.91

01:00:56.740 And it's very much like

01:00:58.400 You don't want these hands

01:01:00.100 So I'm going to let you know that

01:01:02.540 By just

01:01:03.540 I'm gonna put this

01:01:04.500 So you know what

01:01:05.440 And if you keep coming

01:01:06.820 Then it's gonna be these

01:01:08.280 I feel like

01:01:09.300 Like this in MMA

01:01:10.980 Is a good technique

01:01:12.220 To start out the fight

01:01:13.100 Like push him away

01:01:13.960 But also if you try that out

01:01:15.520 On the street

01:01:15.960 You might hit nuts 1.00

01:01:16.900 And you might hit fucking 1.00

01:01:18.280 And that's 1.00

01:01:18.760 There's no timeouts

01:01:19.660 Yeah

01:01:20.020 On the street

01:01:20.360 So that's an effective way

01:01:22.060 Oh yeah

01:01:22.900 To get

01:01:23.100 To not engage

01:01:24.800 And to throw a shot

01:01:26.560 But also like

01:01:27.240 Say like look 0.98

01:01:27.660 You don't fucking want it 1.00

01:01:28.520 They might get hit in the nuts 1.00

01:01:29.660 You can take off

01:01:30.340 You know

01:01:30.700 Before the cops get there

01:01:31.840 Like look

01:01:32.100 I'm still going to dinner

01:01:32.900 With my wife

01:01:33.480 Yeah exactly

01:01:34.620 We're gonna be at

01:01:35.720 Yeah

01:01:36.060 You might have some

01:01:36.800 Dress shoes on

01:01:37.500 Or something

01:01:37.940 Yeah

01:01:38.360 Yeah Connor's

01:01:40.440 So

01:01:40.820 I wonder if you saw

01:01:42.700 If you saw him in person

01:01:43.900 You ever met Connor in person

01:01:44.940 No

01:01:45.460 Me neither

01:01:46.100 But I wonder if you saw him

01:01:48.540 In person

01:01:49.120 If he looks

01:01:49.940 Cause some fighters

01:01:51.180 If they had on a hoodie

01:01:52.720 Yeah

01:01:53.320 You may have no idea

01:01:55.020 If it weren't for the ears

01:01:55.840 The ears

01:01:56.220 Yeah

01:01:56.520 The ears

01:01:57.320 Yeah what happened with Connor

01:01:59.920 Connor and Cormier got into it

01:02:02.080 Yeah

01:02:02.440 Connor

01:02:03.420 Took umbrage

01:02:05.220 With some criticism

01:02:06.000 That Daniel Cormier

01:02:06.900 Made on one of his MMA shows

01:02:08.480 And he just started going off

01:02:10.200 On Daniel Cormier

01:02:11.840 Daniel Cormier's a fat mess

01:02:13.220 Getting into worse condition

01:02:15.060 By the day

01:02:15.720 God bless

01:02:16.220 I mean he's retired

01:02:17.140 You know

01:02:17.540 Showing up drunk

01:02:18.900 At media events

01:02:19.900 The very day before

01:02:21.140 He was in the booth

01:02:21.940 Calling my fight

01:02:22.760 Oh he

01:02:23.540 So he was

01:02:24.220 Upset

01:02:25.060 At bias

01:02:26.180 Commentating

01:02:26.860 So

01:02:27.880 He was

01:02:28.520 Imagine if he had that 1.00

01:02:29.420 Fucking baseball 0.99

01:02:30.140 Commentator on his fights 1.00

01:02:31.600 Yeah he probably would have loved it

01:02:32.680 Doing the Irish accent 0.90

01:02:33.560 I can't help but do the Irish accent

01:02:35.700 And I don't know if that's

01:02:36.900 You know

01:02:37.200 Offensive

01:02:37.420 Now that's a great point

01:02:38.260 If that would have been an Irish guy 1.00

01:02:39.820 I bet there's no problem 1.00

01:02:41.260 Cause I fucking 0.99

01:02:42.500 I fucking love it 0.98

01:02:43.440 Yeah 0.99

01:02:43.740 It's just fucking 0.99

01:02:44.780 To be honest 1.00

01:02:45.380 I don't give a fuck 1.00

01:02:46.280 Oh fuck you 1.00

01:02:47.380 Mister 1.00

01:02:48.100 It's a hard accent 0.58

01:02:49.160 It's a hard accent to do

01:02:49.540 But it's just so fun

01:02:50.800 If I was commentating the fights

01:02:52.360 If I was Daniel Cormier

01:02:53.160 I'd be cancelled big time

01:02:54.900 Cause I would just do the whole fight

01:02:56.380 In an Irish accent

01:02:57.440 But I don't think you'd get in trouble

01:02:59.200 For an Irish accent

01:02:59.960 Would you think you'd get in trouble?

01:03:01.300 I mean if Conor's just pissed about

01:03:03.340 Him gaining weight

01:03:04.800 On his own

01:03:06.380 In his own life

01:03:07.720 In his own time

01:03:08.360 I think he's just gonna be pissed

01:03:09.800 About everything that

01:03:10.720 Cormier does

01:03:11.780 And look

01:03:13.000 Let's be honest dude

01:03:14.040 Cormier is that thicky

01:03:15.820 You know what I'm saying

01:03:16.800 He's built like

01:03:17.720 Like Winnie the Pooh 0.87

01:03:19.100 Went to freaking CrossFit

01:03:21.200 For two years

01:03:22.020 Yeah

01:03:22.600 You know

01:03:23.080 He's got that

01:03:23.680 He has the body style

01:03:24.900 You're talking about

01:03:25.380 Babe Ruth body style

01:03:26.580 Where it's just

01:03:27.180 You got all the body

01:03:28.560 You got every part

01:03:29.580 And you're still great

01:03:31.180 At whatever your sport is

01:03:32.440 Yeah

01:03:32.700 And that's a perfect example

01:03:34.800 Cause it's MMA

01:03:35.480 Where you have to

01:03:36.500 You know

01:03:36.920 Make weight

01:03:37.460 But he's a heavyweight

01:03:38.200 So

01:03:38.480 Yeah you could be 265

01:03:40.560 You could get up there

01:03:41.300 But now you got guys

01:03:42.080 Like Ngannou

01:03:42.740 That are now

01:03:43.760 Using every

01:03:44.620 Like

01:03:45.740 Cubic square 1.00

01:03:47.680 Of fucking muscle 1.00

01:03:48.620 On your body 1.00

01:03:49.360 Has to be like

01:03:50.140 Lean muscle

01:03:50.760 You know 1.00

01:03:51.160 Ngannou's a fucking specimen 1.00

01:03:53.160 Man 1.00

01:03:53.560 That guy is terrifying

01:03:54.640 You see the picture of him

01:03:56.080 Next to the

01:03:56.720 The smallest heavyweight champ

01:03:58.140 Like the

01:03:59.180 The heavyweight champ

01:03:59.980 Next to the lightweight

01:04:00.600 Flyweight

01:04:01.160 Shawweight

01:04:01.740 I don't know

01:04:02.700 All the weights

01:04:03.140 There's too many

01:04:03.620 I'm like

01:04:04.140 Mine would be

01:04:07.040 Just weight dude

01:04:07.760 I need a few minutes

01:04:08.500 Before I go in the ring

01:04:09.260 That's my weight

01:04:09.880 Look at this

01:04:10.500 Oh my god

01:04:12.300 Is that Brian Moreno

01:04:13.420 Brandon yeah

01:04:14.160 Brandon Moreno

01:04:14.980 Wow

01:04:15.380 The lightest UFC champion

01:04:17.360 And the heaviest

01:04:18.240 Oh my god

01:04:20.100 And the crazy part is

01:04:21.760 Ngannou seems like

01:04:22.920 The nicest guy in the world

01:04:24.700 Yeah

01:04:25.100 French

01:04:25.620 French accent

01:04:26.620 The French are coming up 1.00

01:04:28.580 Bro

01:04:28.860 That's Cyril Gagne

01:04:29.880 Oh yeah

01:04:30.620 Ngannou

01:04:32.440 Yeah it's gonna be a good fight

01:04:33.880 Who'da thought

01:04:34.820 Um

01:04:36.120 Let's go back

01:04:37.820 What did Cormier respond

01:04:38.760 Nick

01:04:39.120 He said

01:04:40.520 I bet you Ngannou

01:04:45.260 Will run right through that wall

01:04:46.240 We can't find

01:04:47.540 No problem

01:04:47.920 Oh yeah

01:04:49.140 Two reps

01:04:50.360 He'll hit it

01:04:52.400 And then go again

01:04:53.100 Yeah he might just

01:04:53.960 Punch through it

01:04:54.580 I went to the UFCPI

01:04:56.100 In Vegas

01:04:56.560 And they have that thing

01:04:57.540 Where you

01:04:57.820 You punch

01:04:58.640 And it tells you like

01:04:59.500 How much

01:05:00.420 Your velocity is 0.98

01:05:01.760 Or whatever the fuck 0.98

01:05:02.740 Yeah 1.00

01:05:03.180 And I hit that shit 1.00

01:05:04.860 As hard as I could 0.99

01:05:05.740 And I couldn't even get

01:05:06.720 A third of what

01:05:07.400 Ngannou got

01:05:08.000 Really

01:05:08.460 Yeah and I had a shot

01:05:09.900 I was there with a pro fighter

01:05:11.080 And he got less than I did

01:05:12.540 And Ngannou was punching

01:05:14.140 You know

01:05:15.380 Three times harder than that 1.00

01:05:16.440 What the fuck 1.00

01:05:17.080 It's fucking insane 1.00

01:05:18.560 Were you with Sugar Sean 0.99

01:05:19.440 No 0.99

01:05:20.760 I just fucking pulled in 0.99

01:05:22.760 I said I was with the Nelk boys 1.00

01:05:23.960 Oh yeah

01:05:24.800 I wasn't

01:05:25.420 I wasn't with anybody

01:05:26.280 I was just like 0.98

01:05:26.880 I was just fucking 0.96

01:05:28.280 I respect that dude 0.92

01:05:29.680 Yeah

01:05:30.140 I snuck in

01:05:30.900 I infiltrated the UFCPI

01:05:32.380 No I had a friend there

01:05:33.900 That was training

01:05:34.520 But it would have been cooler

01:05:35.980 If I just left it

01:05:36.660 The other story

01:05:37.320 Yeah

01:05:38.180 I lied

01:05:38.860 I'm a Nelk boy

01:05:40.280 I like that dude

01:05:41.360 I think

01:05:42.780 I don't even know

01:05:44.580 If I know the Nelk 1.00

01:05:45.280 I mean I know

01:05:45.740 Who the Nelk boys are 1.00

01:05:46.520 But I don't know if I know

01:05:47.280 Any of them in person

01:05:48.360 Yeah

01:05:49.040 Oh Steve I met

01:05:50.780 Yeah

01:05:51.560 I feel like you get along

01:05:52.620 With them

01:05:52.940 I met some of them

01:05:54.240 And DJ

01:05:55.840 They're hustling

01:05:56.360 Yeah

01:05:56.620 They're doing their thing

01:05:57.780 Oh yeah

01:05:58.560 They're kind of like

01:05:59.340 In the same world

01:05:59.980 Do you ever feel like

01:06:00.600 The same world

01:06:01.100 That you guys are in

01:06:01.760 Yeah 100%

01:06:02.480 Yeah

01:06:02.760 That's so cool

01:06:03.980 That so many people

01:06:04.660 Kind of cross over each other

01:06:05.940 And do stuff together

01:06:06.860 Yeah

01:06:08.480 Good guys

01:06:10.300 Um

01:06:14.020 I got

01:06:15.960 They make some edgy jokes

01:06:18.320 They got me in trouble

01:06:19.860 One time

01:06:20.180 They sent me a package

01:06:20.900 Of merch

01:06:21.400 And one of their

01:06:22.900 Shirts had Epstein on it

01:06:24.720 Mm-hmm

01:06:25.020 And my friend

01:06:27.040 One of my friends

01:06:27.620 He looks like a young Epstein 0.77

01:06:28.880 He has like a little 0.82

01:06:29.840 Rat looking face

01:06:30.800 And I always call him Epstein 0.97

01:06:32.540 So I made a joke

01:06:33.400 And I was promoting their merch

01:06:34.920 Because they sent me

01:06:35.420 A nice big box

01:06:36.340 And then I was getting canceled

01:06:38.240 Just for promoting their merch

01:06:39.560 So

01:06:40.560 I mean 1.00

01:06:41.240 It's just what you give a fuck 1.00

01:06:42.660 To respond to 0.99

01:06:42.920 Is there value

01:06:43.800 In getting canceled these days

01:06:45.180 Like my friend Morgan Wallen

01:06:46.520 He has

01:06:47.600 Like

01:06:48.120 He got canceled or whatever

01:06:49.340 And he's like

01:06:50.300 The biggest musician

01:06:51.180 In the whole world

01:06:51.880 Was that the N-word situation

01:06:53.040 Yeah

01:06:53.340 Yeah

01:06:53.860 Um

01:06:55.080 I mean he's a big

01:06:57.040 Now he's

01:06:57.380 I think he's the biggest

01:06:58.120 I mean he's basically like the

01:07:00.000 He's like the male Katy Perry now

01:07:02.180 Yeah

01:07:03.000 Oh yeah

01:07:03.960 So you're saying that

01:07:05.180 He'll be on tour for 10 years

01:07:06.520 If he wants to

01:07:07.380 I think anyway

01:07:08.100 So that actually

01:07:09.440 Helped his career

01:07:10.180 It definitely didn't hurt him

01:07:11.960 I think the way that they beat

01:07:13.220 The media beat him down about it

01:07:14.860 Yeah

01:07:15.260 It just helped him

01:07:15.880 It's almost like

01:07:16.380 If you want to sell a good tour

01:07:17.840 Get canceled first

01:07:20.360 Yeah

01:07:20.960 Not that Morgan couldn't have without it

01:07:22.060 But I bet it doubled

01:07:22.780 Did he apologize

01:07:22.800 Or did he just double down

01:07:24.060 Yeah he kind of did

01:07:25.020 No he did a little bit of like

01:07:26.300 The song and dance

01:07:27.160 You know that they make you do

01:07:28.400 Yeah

01:07:28.860 For sure

01:07:29.580 Well he grew up in the south

01:07:30.920 Yeah

01:07:31.420 Where you know

01:07:32.580 Did he get a pass from somebody

01:07:34.440 Because I don't know

01:07:35.640 I don't

01:07:36.500 I know that doesn't count

01:07:37.620 But

01:07:37.920 No but it kind of

01:07:38.780 I mean look

01:07:39.120 He called it like

01:07:40.320 He called his friend

01:07:43.460 His white friend 1.00

01:07:44.460 A pussy ass n-word 1.00

01:07:46.320 Yeah 1.00

01:07:46.780 You know

01:07:47.180 Yeah

01:07:47.560 And he didn't say ER

01:07:48.400 He said A

01:07:49.080 Yeah

01:07:49.500 Which you can buy in music

01:07:50.820 So to me

01:07:51.960 To me and a lot of my black friends

01:07:53.540 Didn't even think it was a big deal

01:07:54.900 Yeah

01:07:55.200 You know

01:07:55.440 It's really just the media

01:07:56.400 But if you can get the media

01:07:57.580 To bite into

01:07:58.700 Yeah

01:07:59.360 Something controversial

01:08:00.620 I wonder

01:08:01.780 Do you think it can help your vibe

01:08:03.780 These days

01:08:04.380 Yeah

01:08:04.780 Yeah

01:08:05.960 I mean if

01:08:07.460 If that's part of your brand

01:08:09.000 And you just double down on it

01:08:10.320 And you don't apologize

01:08:11.360 You just say

01:08:11.860 This is who I am

01:08:12.640 And I made a mistake

01:08:13.820 Times are changing

01:08:14.720 You know

01:08:15.040 I don't know 1.00

01:08:15.720 This is fucking 0.99

01:08:16.480 I probably shouldn't comment on this stuff 0.99

01:08:18.520 Oh I don't know

01:08:19.680 I think it's interesting

01:08:20.840 Yeah

01:08:21.520 But I just feel like

01:08:23.480 Is cancel culture 0.99

01:08:24.440 Now something people can use

01:08:25.880 As leverage

01:08:26.500 To be a better

01:08:27.560 To promote

01:08:29.560 It's almost like

01:08:30.240 Like 6ix9ine did it 0.86

01:08:31.260 If you watch that documentary

01:08:32.320 About 6ix9ine 0.99

01:08:33.320 His whole thing was like

01:08:35.220 6ix9ine is a documentary

01:08:36.280 Bro

01:08:36.940 It's multiple

01:08:37.640 Yeah

01:08:38.200 And it's fascinating bro

01:08:39.740 His whole thing was

01:08:41.080 To me

01:08:41.680 I'm gonna tell these rappers

01:08:44.380 Rappers are not tough anymore

01:08:46.080 The guys who were shooting each other

01:08:48.440 They both shot each other

01:08:49.320 Biggie shot Tupac 0.99

01:08:50.300 Tupac shot Biggie

01:08:51.320 Yeah

01:08:51.640 Did they shoot at the same time

01:08:52.560 How'd that even happen

01:08:53.300 And here's what

01:08:55.380 I think it was like

01:08:55.720 A month apart or something right

01:08:57.000 One of them must have shot

01:08:57.920 Straight up in the air

01:08:58.720 Then dude

01:08:59.100 With a freaking hot cow 0.99

01:09:00.140 With an 80 gauge dog 0.93

01:09:01.780 Because that's crazy bro

01:09:03.680 But here's the thing

01:09:04.700 He realized

01:09:05.100 He was like

01:09:05.440 None of these dudes

01:09:06.160 All of them are just about

01:09:07.160 Like internet cloud anymore

01:09:08.380 There's no real killers

01:09:09.580 Yeah

01:09:09.920 I'm gonna call all of them 1.00

01:09:11.940 Pussies 1.00

01:09:12.780 Yeah 0.99

01:09:13.140 And that's what he started doing

01:09:14.700 And he's right

01:09:15.720 None of them are gonna kill

01:09:16.880 100%

01:09:17.260 They all just wanna have

01:09:18.280 It's more dangerous

01:09:19.220 To be a YouTuber

01:09:19.940 Because now you'll be like

01:09:21.180 Called out to box

01:09:22.120 And okay now you gotta

01:09:23.020 Actually fight

01:09:23.640 You know

01:09:24.120 So you gotta be more 1.00

01:09:26.240 Hardcore to be a fucking YouTuber 1.00

01:09:27.760 Now than a rapper 1.00

01:09:28.520 I was talking to

01:09:29.400 Bro that's so true

01:09:30.700 That's so true bro

01:09:32.340 I was talking to Yo Gotti

01:09:33.380 The other day

01:09:34.160 And he was like

01:09:34.880 What's the deal

01:09:35.340 With all these YouTubers 1.00

01:09:36.940 Boxing and money in that

01:09:38.120 And I was like

01:09:38.900 Well back in the day

01:09:39.780 When rappers had beef

01:09:40.940 They would just shoot each other

01:09:42.540 Now like YouTubers in our world 1.00

01:09:45.180 They found a way to resolve that conflict

01:09:47.960 And also monetize it

01:09:49.440 And you know

01:09:51.280 Like some people get into boxing

01:09:52.740 And they love it

01:09:53.220 Like the Paul brothers

01:09:53.960 They actually live and breathe boxing now

01:09:56.640 Yeah

01:09:56.800 They move their trainers

01:09:57.660 Into their houses

01:09:58.360 Like they are putting millions

01:09:59.860 Into their training camps

01:10:00.860 And they're

01:10:02.440 You know

01:10:03.120 They have resources

01:10:03.840 That are better than most fighters have

01:10:05.440 You know

01:10:05.880 So a lot of these fighters

01:10:07.120 Are getting paid two grand a fight

01:10:08.380 I know

01:10:08.820 If that

01:10:09.340 You know

01:10:09.880 How do you pay for training

01:10:11.220 They're like grateful

01:10:12.020 Just to get in a gym

01:10:12.920 Yeah

01:10:13.560 Yeah

01:10:14.980 I think it's just fascinating

01:10:16.240 Yeah

01:10:16.460 Why aren't these rappers

01:10:17.580 Like if they have any real beef

01:10:19.500 It's like the rappers

01:10:20.700 Have turned into

01:10:21.800 The actors

01:10:23.820 Yeah

01:10:24.460 And the YouTubers 1.00

01:10:26.180 Are the fucking ones 0.99

01:10:27.380 That are actually about it 1.00

01:10:28.360 Let's settle the beef

01:10:29.220 Yeah

01:10:29.780 Look at us

01:10:30.660 We're in combat sports training 1.00

01:10:32.240 What the fuck 0.99

01:10:33.600 Yeah 1.00

01:10:34.260 What are we preparing for

01:10:35.460 I don't know

01:10:37.240 I would be willing to fight someone

01:10:38.460 In a couple years

01:10:39.200 Oh yeah

01:10:39.960 I think in two years

01:10:40.940 Would you do it

01:10:40.960 Somebody like around

01:10:41.980 I think if Brendan Schaub lost

01:10:43.960 He's a

01:10:44.380 You know

01:10:44.620 Brendan Schaub

01:10:45.040 And I do a show called

01:10:46.160 King and the Sting

01:10:46.700 And he formerly did UFC

01:10:47.960 But if he lost

01:10:49.680 He's a heavyweight though

01:10:50.420 You'd go after him

01:10:51.180 I'd have to gain 40

01:10:52.180 He'd have to lose 40 1.00

01:10:53.020 Oh so he would be fucking 0.99

01:10:55.060 A toothpick 1.00

01:10:56.560 And you would bulk up

01:10:57.360 Like Cormier probably

01:10:58.940 Yeah

01:10:59.420 I don't know

01:11:01.100 I'd probably go after somebody

01:11:02.340 With a little less experience

01:11:03.360 Because he actually has

01:11:04.200 Octagon experience

01:11:05.460 Yeah you're right

01:11:06.280 Maybe Bobby Lee

01:11:07.380 He wrestled in high school

01:11:08.300 Bobby Lee's a perfect matchup 0.99

01:11:09.600 It'd be good shit talk 0.99

01:11:10.980 Back and forth on stage 1.00

01:11:12.120 You know

01:11:12.660 Press conference

01:11:13.420 You get up there 1.00

01:11:14.460 You fucking do the accent 1.00

01:11:15.640 Like that 1.00

01:11:16.100 You get cancelled

01:11:16.740 Your career blows up

01:11:17.720 Yeah 1.00

01:11:18.020 And then you fucking 1.00

01:11:19.660 Beat his ass 1.00

01:11:21.100 Yeah 1.00

01:11:21.500 Dude you think I could beat him up 0.98

01:11:23.000 I could beat him up 0.96

01:11:23.840 I think 0.99

01:11:24.180 I'd hate to

01:11:25.320 Didn't he say

01:11:26.320 He has some martial arts experience

01:11:27.660 Or is that

01:11:28.360 Just me stereotyping

01:11:29.120 He does

01:11:29.540 But I bet it's deep

01:11:30.800 Into his bone marrow now

01:11:31.980 I mean it is

01:11:32.700 He's put a

01:11:33.540 He's more of a

01:11:34.280 It's embedded in his brain

01:11:35.580 It's his instinct now

01:11:36.440 It's actually more dangerous

01:11:37.460 That it's instinctual

01:11:38.600 Because he could just

01:11:39.580 You know

01:11:40.260 Rekindle that

01:11:41.320 That's a good point

01:11:42.560 And his body's parts

01:11:44.240 Aren't far apart

01:11:45.060 So I feel like

01:11:46.260 He can like

01:11:46.620 Manage his body

01:11:47.900 You know like

01:11:48.980 Some remote controls

01:11:49.880 Like the original

01:11:50.580 Playstation controller

01:11:51.500 Like there was just a couple buttons

01:11:52.720 And it was close and easy

01:11:53.740 And then you got that

01:11:54.700 Xbox thing

01:11:55.460 You're like

01:11:55.740 Too many things going on

01:11:56.600 Yes

01:11:56.920 I think I have too many

01:11:58.720 Whereas he's just like

01:12:00.520 You know

01:12:01.220 Yeah

01:12:01.900 It's more important

01:12:02.700 Just straight punches down the middle

01:12:03.660 That's all you need

01:12:04.360 One two

01:12:04.760 Yeah

01:12:05.200 That's all you need to know

01:12:06.060 A lot of people don't know

01:12:07.600 Bobby wrestled at Poway

01:12:09.400 Wrestled at Poway High School

01:12:11.100 This guy has a question

01:12:12.800 About an opponent

01:12:13.900 For each one of you

01:12:14.820 Is this dope as Yola?

01:12:16.120 It looks like it

01:12:16.900 But I don't think it is

01:12:17.980 What's up Brad

01:12:21.440 Jack King

01:12:21.940 Jeff

01:12:22.740 How we doing?

01:12:24.200 It's your boy

01:12:24.680 Meter from Jersey

01:12:25.700 Theo's a big DP fan

01:12:29.200 Dustin Poirier

01:12:30.760 Not the other thing

01:12:31.760 And Jeff likes Connor

01:12:33.120 I mean

01:12:33.460 Would you guys ever

01:12:34.560 You know

01:12:34.920 Get in the ring

01:12:35.940 Fight for your man 1.00

01:12:36.660 You fucking ratted me 1.00

01:12:37.420 Right out over here 0.99

01:12:38.600 I mean

01:12:39.220 I'm

01:12:39.440 I think

01:12:40.700 I think Theo would

01:12:42.560 Sleep Jeff in like

01:12:43.900 30 seconds

01:12:44.700 Don't drive us

01:12:45.620 Against each other bro

01:12:46.500 We just met 1.00

01:12:47.380 We're fucking 0.97

01:12:48.000 Finally warming up 0.98

01:12:48.900 To each other

01:12:49.380 And you want to

01:12:49.720 Drive us against each other 0.99

01:12:50.780 And he fucking ratted me out 0.99

01:12:52.020 Of being a Connor fan 0.98

01:12:53.120 Yeah

01:12:53.540 You know

01:12:54.640 I look

01:12:55.100 I don't like Connor's actions

01:12:56.960 Recently

01:12:57.500 Calling Cormier 1.00

01:12:58.900 A fat fuck 1.00

01:12:59.500 Is kind of a little funny 1.00

01:13:00.540 Yeah

01:13:00.980 But you know

01:13:01.640 Like yeah

01:13:02.200 He's got to

01:13:03.100 Work on his respect levels

01:13:04.920 Right now

01:13:05.380 But also he's going through 0.99

01:13:06.600 Some serious shit 0.99

01:13:07.600 He's got a life changing 1.00

01:13:09.000 Injury right now

01:13:09.900 When I was 0.99

01:13:10.800 When I smashed my fucking 0.99

01:13:12.400 Head off the crane 1.00

01:13:13.100 I was saying all types

01:13:14.260 Of batshit crazy stuff

01:13:15.640 Were you?

01:13:15.760 I still am today

01:13:16.500 I probably said things

01:13:17.120 On the podcast

01:13:17.600 You know

01:13:18.620 Yeah

01:13:19.060 Well at least you can

01:13:20.120 Use a crane

01:13:20.820 Andrea

01:13:21.180 If anybody was like

01:13:21.700 Why do you say that

01:13:22.540 I'd be like

01:13:22.840 Just show a picture

01:13:24.000 Of a freaking

01:13:24.420 Big John Deere

01:13:25.360 You know what I'm saying

01:13:26.220 Yeah

01:13:26.660 You're done

01:13:28.160 You can say

01:13:28.700 Whatever you want

01:13:29.720 Yeah 1.00

01:13:29.940 You're mentally handicapped 1.00

01:13:31.400 Blame it on the crane 1.00

01:13:32.220 Dude

01:13:32.600 Blame it on the crane

01:13:34.520 I made a song about it too

01:13:36.420 You did?

01:13:36.980 Yeah

01:13:37.160 At the end of the documentary

01:13:38.080 You'll see it

01:13:38.680 So yeah

01:13:39.100 I skydived into a musical

01:13:40.200 Performance at the end

01:13:41.060 I couldn't figure out

01:13:42.120 How to end it

01:13:42.640 I was like 0.99

01:13:43.020 This is some sad shit 1.00

01:13:44.280 It got real dark 1.00

01:13:45.180 And then I just wanted

01:13:45.920 To end it on a happy note

01:13:46.900 So I covered higher

01:13:48.260 From Creed

01:13:49.380 Ooh

01:13:50.060 Yeah

01:13:50.980 I was like 0.99

01:13:51.280 Fucking jumped out 0.99

01:13:52.440 Of the 1.00

01:13:52.940 I jumped out of a hot air balloon

01:13:54.440 And then I just started singing

01:13:55.880 And it was like

01:13:56.880 Because I can't sing

01:13:58.180 I'm not a musician

01:13:58.800 But I can do like

01:13:59.600 Funny singing voices

01:14:00.880 Yeah

01:14:01.420 So I did that

01:14:02.840 And then I reached out to him

01:14:04.420 And he like

01:14:05.800 Gave me the rights

01:14:06.480 To do it or whatever

01:14:07.820 Really?

01:14:08.600 Yeah

01:14:08.820 That's awesome

01:14:09.480 Have you ever done

01:14:10.620 The one that

01:14:11.700 Josh Adam Meyers does

01:14:12.840 At the comedy

01:14:13.480 At the

01:14:14.380 Jam

01:14:16.140 Jam

01:14:16.700 He has comedians

01:14:20.900 And entertainers

01:14:21.640 Come on stage

01:14:22.120 And sing with a live band

01:14:23.120 Like you 0.99

01:14:23.500 Goddamn comedy jam 0.99

01:14:26.040 Goddamn comedy jam 1.00

01:14:26.920 Oh damn 0.99

01:14:27.240 I don't know if I could do that 0.99

01:14:28.860 I could do it for

01:14:29.540 Like if I sold tickets

01:14:30.440 To my own tour

01:14:31.180 I could do it for my own fans

01:14:32.460 But going out there

01:14:33.120 For people that don't know me

01:14:34.020 And then I just started

01:14:34.560 Doing a shitty cover of Creed

01:14:35.920 I did it 0.86

01:14:36.600 It was bad

01:14:37.220 Everybody did it

01:14:38.220 Like open mics

01:14:39.240 I never had to go that route

01:14:40.700 No no it's not open mic

01:14:41.880 It's like a real show

01:14:42.740 So they've just

01:14:43.260 The crowd is there

01:14:43.940 Just they know it's

01:14:44.740 Comedians and entertainers

01:14:45.940 Comedians performing music

01:14:48.800 That are not singers

01:14:49.740 So they know

01:14:50.660 But it's a real band

01:14:52.120 And it's like a good

01:14:52.920 People are just having fun

01:14:54.080 But people

01:14:54.500 Like the average person

01:14:55.540 Has way more musical talent

01:14:56.700 Than I do

01:14:57.200 Really?

01:14:57.900 Yeah I don't have any

01:14:58.780 I have like

01:15:00.020 Like bad musical talent

01:15:01.340 What skills do you think

01:15:02.360 You actually have?

01:15:03.320 Like what are some of your

01:15:03.940 Honestly what are your skills?

01:15:05.380 Fighting 0.99

01:15:05.780 I could probably fucking 0.99

01:15:07.120 Take off the average 1.00

01:15:08.960 YouTuber's head 0.91

01:15:09.700 In a boxing match

01:15:10.980 You know

01:15:11.380 Have you thought about

01:15:12.720 Challenging anybody?

01:15:14.360 Yeah I've been doing it

01:15:15.720 On my own podcast

01:15:16.620 People are sick of it

01:15:17.700 I just call somebody out

01:15:19.080 Every week

01:15:19.620 And nobody's taking

01:15:20.460 The bait right now

01:15:21.320 What about Ethan Klein?

01:15:23.380 Oh yeah

01:15:23.800 I mean

01:15:24.420 He wouldn't take the bait

01:15:25.660 I mean what's in it for him?

01:15:26.720 Money?

01:15:27.420 Yeah

01:15:27.560 You know

01:15:27.920 How much money

01:15:28.920 Can you possibly give him?

01:15:29.980 He's not gonna do it

01:15:30.620 He wouldn't do it

01:15:31.220 I would love that matchup 1.00

01:15:32.600 Because he's fucking 0.99

01:15:33.520 You know 1.00

01:15:34.780 Said some things about me

01:15:35.720 But you know

01:15:36.780 He's a heavyweight

01:15:37.980 He would probably like

01:15:39.260 To do a debate

01:15:40.000 Like a mental battle

01:15:41.200 What about Trisha Pattaya?

01:15:43.020 I mean that's

01:15:43.680 Man and woman

01:15:44.280 That'd be a new thing

01:15:45.100 You'd have to get a new league 0.56

01:15:45.840 I thought she was transgender 0.79

01:15:46.740 Not sure

01:15:48.720 You would have to get

01:15:49.360 A whole new league

01:15:50.240 Of like

01:15:51.040 Who's even down to put that on

01:15:52.440 That bare knuckle

01:15:53.180 They'd put on

01:15:53.960 Triller would probably put it on

01:15:55.300 Triller would do it 1.00

01:15:55.920 They don't give a fuck 1.00

01:15:57.000 Triller would not give a 1.00

01:15:58.380 Bro

01:15:58.780 Triller is basically

01:16:00.160 Like

01:16:00.500 Anytime I've ever been

01:16:01.600 In a huge nightclub

01:16:02.460 In Jacksonville

01:16:03.140 And had to go find the bathroom 1.00

01:16:04.300 That is what I feel like

01:16:05.640 I'm wandering through

01:16:06.320 When I watch Triller

01:16:07.080 Somebody's singing over here

01:16:08.600 In this corner

01:16:09.240 It's very poorly lit

01:16:10.540 I wouldn't be surprised

01:16:11.400 If they had a rematch

01:16:13.520 With the crocodile

01:16:14.100 And that girl 1.00

01:16:14.640 They might try to

01:16:15.660 They might try to set that up 0.74

01:16:17.280 And just promote it

01:16:18.160 The rematch

01:16:18.880 Of the crocodile

01:16:19.620 Versus the MMA girl 0.99

01:16:20.740 Dude that's where we're headed

01:16:22.720 It's definitely getting interesting

01:16:24.140 It's like we're all

01:16:25.060 Heading into this space

01:16:26.080 Where it's like

01:16:26.880 There's just

01:16:28.320 Things are just

01:16:29.580 Publicized

01:16:30.180 Fights now

01:16:30.880 The UFC is like

01:16:31.680 The biggest sport

01:16:32.580 In America

01:16:33.020 Yeah

01:16:33.420 I realize it's my

01:16:34.800 Favorite sport

01:16:35.580 Same

01:16:36.080 It's great

01:16:37.720 Football used to be

01:16:38.960 My favorite sport 1.00

01:16:39.700 Fuck that 1.00

01:16:40.420 Men running around 1.00

01:16:41.120 With helmets on

01:16:41.780 And gear throwing a ball

01:16:42.740 Around

01:16:43.100 Just put two men in 0.99

01:16:44.660 Only one can win

01:16:45.860 You know

01:16:46.440 You have to make that man 1.00

01:16:47.580 Fucking either quit 1.00

01:16:48.620 Or go to sleep 1.00

01:16:49.800 Go unconscious

01:16:50.560 You know 0.79

01:16:51.120 What's better than that

01:16:53.120 Do you think you could have done it

01:16:54.560 Looking back on your life

01:16:55.700 If you'd have gotten into it early

01:16:56.980 And really trained

01:16:57.560 Do you think you'd have had a chance in it

01:16:59.000 Do you have that thing

01:17:01.120 I don't know

01:17:03.340 I don't know

01:17:04.280 I mean I got in plenty of fights

01:17:06.380 Growing up

01:17:06.900 But I've lost some

01:17:07.860 You know 0.97

01:17:08.400 That might have fucked up

01:17:10.040 My momentum

01:17:10.600 You know

01:17:11.440 If I had a loss

01:17:12.680 Like

01:17:13.060 Who'd you lose

01:17:13.960 Do you remember

01:17:14.520 I mean I've had group fights

01:17:16.680 Where I just got clipped

01:17:17.860 From the side

01:17:18.520 And stuff like that

01:17:19.400 Yeah I remember

01:17:20.020 I lost

01:17:20.700 This one fight

01:17:22.820 I fought some guy

01:17:23.660 On steroids

01:17:24.400 He was on performance

01:17:25.280 Enhancing drugs

01:17:26.100 I wouldn't test him

01:17:27.500 Or anything after that

01:17:28.300 He'd walk around school

01:17:29.700 Saying I'm off the weed

01:17:31.080 I'm on the juice

01:17:31.820 Oh yeah

01:17:32.620 He's a real juice head

01:17:34.100 And yeah 0.99

01:17:35.020 Just fucking 0.99

01:17:35.660 I was out of my weight class 0.99

01:17:36.580 So I have weight classes

01:17:37.420 You know

01:17:37.800 I tried to go after 1.00

01:17:38.780 A fucking big dog 1.00

01:17:39.840 I got fucking pummeled 1.00

01:17:41.020 Yeah 0.99

01:17:41.260 That's cool though

01:17:42.180 But it's a humbling experience

01:17:43.560 You know

01:17:44.160 I wouldn't change a thing 1.00

01:17:45.420 Except maybe the fucking 0.99

01:17:46.940 You know the crane 0.99

01:17:47.900 I lost the fight to the crane

01:17:49.160 But even that

01:17:50.920 I got TKO'd

01:17:51.760 I didn't even get knocked out

01:17:52.720 That was awesome

01:17:53.440 That was a TKO'd 0.89

01:17:54.560 That was a doctor stoppage actually

01:17:55.800 That one was a doctor stoppage

01:17:57.440 With the crane 1.00

01:17:58.020 The fucking crane 0.99

01:17:59.700 Dude we should do a fight review sometime 0.99

01:18:01.620 I wonder if that would be cool

01:18:02.560 Or not

01:18:02.960 You and me commentating

01:18:04.080 I think we just 1.00

01:18:05.600 Came up with a goddamn 0.99

01:18:07.160 You know 1.00

01:18:08.160 And get a fighter too

01:18:09.360 We have to get somebody

01:18:10.020 Who fights

01:18:10.480 Who knows what they're talking about

01:18:12.040 Do we

01:18:12.560 I think we know enough

01:18:14.240 I don't think we do

01:18:16.160 We could just do 0.99

01:18:17.680 Fucking accents 0.99

01:18:18.440 Like that guy 1.00

01:18:19.260 Yeah

01:18:19.920 And you know

01:18:21.140 Oh coming to the plate

01:18:22.700 We'll get views

01:18:25.300 We'll lose all our sponsors

01:18:27.200 I'm sure Liquid Death

01:18:28.080 Will stick around

01:18:28.700 But you know

01:18:29.400 They're in it for the long haul dude

01:18:31.300 Going to jail

01:18:32.280 Liquid Death

01:18:33.400 That was your Conor McGregor

01:18:34.840 If anybody's wondering

01:18:35.680 Yeah that was my Conor man

01:18:37.500 Oh yeah

01:18:38.320 Oh I'm gonna fight ya bubby 0.98

01:18:40.700 They're all bad man 0.98

01:18:42.540 Wow

01:18:42.740 I mean I get a lot of practice

01:18:44.280 All I do on my podcast

01:18:45.280 Is talk about myself

01:18:46.200 And do Conor McGregor impressions

01:18:47.400 Really?

01:18:47.980 People are pissed

01:18:48.520 But I'm warming up to it

01:18:49.580 Yeah I'm getting used to it

01:18:51.640 I got a soundboard and stuff

01:18:52.840 So I got the 20 year olds 0.97

01:18:54.740 That believe in aliens

01:18:55.560 Flying planes

01:18:56.500 And they're just hitting buttons

01:18:57.420 All day

01:18:57.820 And it throws off

01:18:59.580 Any form of conversation

01:19:00.680 That gets started

01:19:01.480 Oh yeah

01:19:02.180 But I think that's like

01:19:03.360 What I'm used to

01:19:04.080 Cause I'm in the younger generation

01:19:05.620 Where everything's just quicker

01:19:06.540 And we cut ours

01:19:07.420 There's edits

01:19:07.960 It's not like Rogan

01:19:09.440 Where it's just

01:19:09.840 They sit down

01:19:10.340 And have a conversation

01:19:11.020 And they can just talk

01:19:11.960 For three hours

01:19:12.660 Yeah

01:19:13.140 It's hard to be on Joe Rogan

01:19:14.840 Do you have a catheter tube 1.00

01:19:16.800 Hooked up to your penis 1.00

01:19:17.880 When you do those? 1.00

01:19:18.800 Cause I gotta piss right now

01:19:19.840 And I feel like we've been

01:19:20.460 Going only for like

01:19:21.220 A half hour

01:19:21.840 Yeah two and a half

01:19:23.100 I had two hours

01:19:23.800 I had to pee so bad

01:19:24.880 I remember some of my

01:19:26.600 All my thoughts

01:19:27.440 Started to have like

01:19:28.180 It was on an ocean

01:19:29.000 Do you get nervous

01:19:29.800 To tell him like

01:19:30.560 Can I take a piss break?

01:19:31.580 Yeah

01:19:31.760 Yeah?

01:19:32.400 Cause I got a little of that right now

01:19:33.700 Yeah

01:19:33.940 I don't want to interrupt the show

01:19:34.880 But I gotta piss bad 0.51

01:19:35.600 Yeah go pee

01:19:36.020 And we'll come answer this question

01:19:36.900 From this young lady

01:19:39.020 Okay yeah

01:19:39.680 We'll come right back for this 0.97

01:19:40.740 Damn I was holding that in 0.98

01:19:42.220 You were? 0.99

01:19:42.700 You weren't pissed off

01:19:43.700 Did I have to go piss?

01:19:45.320 Not a chance man

01:19:46.240 No I'm glad you're getting it out of you

01:19:47.740 Attention listeners

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01:22:08.220 Oh refreshed

01:22:10.460 Nice

01:22:11.880 Hi Jeff

01:22:14.480 Hi Theo

01:22:15.120 My question

01:22:16.240 For you

01:22:17.300 Jeff

01:22:17.820 Is 0.88

01:22:18.340 Did you really

01:22:18.980 Lose your

01:22:19.780 Virginity

01:22:20.520 At age 12

01:22:21.940 And if you

01:22:23.220 Could go back

01:22:23.980 And change

01:22:24.540 Things

01:22:25.100 Do you

01:22:25.780 Think you

01:22:26.240 Would still

01:22:26.860 Lose your

01:22:27.420 Virginity

01:22:28.100 At age

01:22:29.000 12

01:22:29.520 Love you

01:22:31.580 Theo

01:22:32.040 Love you

01:22:33.060 So much

01:22:33.740 Jeff

01:22:34.280 Gang

01:22:35.160 Gang

01:22:35.560 Snip

01:22:36.340 Snip

01:22:36.760 So somebody's

01:22:39.560 Been neutered

01:22:40.080 If I could go

01:22:41.200 Back and change

01:22:41.960 Anything

01:22:42.240 I would go

01:22:42.600 Back to when

01:22:43.140 I recorded

01:22:43.560 That video

01:22:44.060 And said

01:22:44.580 That it was

01:22:45.160 12

01:22:45.440 Because I think

01:22:45.820 It was like

01:22:46.080 14 or 15

01:22:47.000 I think I

01:22:47.660 Exaggerated a

01:22:48.480 Little bit

01:22:48.900 When I said

01:22:49.400 That

01:22:49.680 But she

01:22:51.000 Did some

01:22:51.320 Deep dive

01:22:52.040 And research

01:22:52.660 For that

01:22:53.360 And so

01:22:53.920 I love you

01:22:54.720 Back

01:22:55.100 And I

01:22:55.780 Appreciate

01:22:56.100 You for

01:22:56.600 Watching

01:22:57.380 All my

01:22:57.960 Stuff

01:22:58.220 Way back

01:22:58.580 Then when

01:22:58.860 I said

01:22:59.140 That in

01:22:59.380 A video

01:22:59.620 Because I

01:22:59.960 Was new

01:23:00.300 To youtube

01:23:00.640 I was just 0.99

01:23:01.020 Blurting shit 0.99

01:23:01.520 Out 1.00

01:23:01.800 Yeah 0.99

01:23:02.360 Fucking 12 0.99

01:23:03.260 Or whatever 1.00

01:23:03.660 I didn't know

01:23:04.020 I was going

01:23:04.220 To stick

01:23:04.660 And resonate

01:23:05.220 With people

01:23:05.540 It might

01:23:05.800 Change

01:23:06.400 How this

01:23:07.480 Girl lives 1.00

01:23:07.840 Her life

01:23:08.180 What if

01:23:09.000 She lost

01:23:09.300 Her virginity

01:23:09.800 At a young

01:23:10.200 Age

01:23:10.420 Because you

01:23:10.980 Did

01:23:11.180 Because I

01:23:11.620 Did

01:23:11.820 So

01:23:12.420 What if

01:23:12.820 Some 12

01:23:13.260 Year old

01:23:13.500 Watches

01:23:13.860 That

01:23:14.000 And you're

01:23:14.200 Like

01:23:14.320 You know

01:23:14.580 What

01:23:14.800 I'm

01:23:14.920 Going to

01:23:15.040 Go

01:23:15.160 Outside

01:23:15.400 Right

01:23:15.640 Now

01:23:15.820 Bang somebody 0.98

01:23:16.620 I know

01:23:17.040 I know

01:23:17.680 So yeah

01:23:18.240 If I could

01:23:18.540 Change anything

01:23:19.020 I would go

01:23:19.380 Back to

01:23:19.780 When I

01:23:20.040 Said that

01:23:20.440 Because that

01:23:20.840 Was a lie

01:23:21.360 And I'm

01:23:21.800 Spreading

01:23:22.160 Misinformation

01:23:22.760 I must have

01:23:23.980 Been 14

01:23:24.500 15

01:23:24.880 Which is

01:23:25.320 Still early

01:23:25.840 But

01:23:26.380 Yeah

01:23:26.960 But in

01:23:27.800 New Jersey

01:23:28.380 Is that early

01:23:28.980 I feel

01:23:29.400 Or New York

01:23:30.020 Is 0.88

01:23:30.160 I feel

01:23:30.500 Like

01:23:30.680 That's

01:23:31.020 Freaking

01:23:31.420 After that

01:23:32.020 Movie

01:23:32.160 Kids

01:23:32.680 I feel

01:23:33.040 Like

01:23:33.220 It's

01:23:33.400 Like

01:23:33.580 Anybody

01:23:34.080 So you

01:23:34.760 Got a

01:23:35.040 Hump

01:23:35.240 By the

01:23:35.560 Time

01:23:35.800 You

01:23:35.960 Hit

01:23:36.200 About

01:23:37.160 8th

01:23:37.500 Grade

01:23:37.760 Yeah

01:23:38.080 No

01:23:38.300 I had

01:23:38.680 Already

01:23:38.940 Been

01:23:39.280 In

01:23:39.560 And out

01:23:39.860 Of

01:23:40.000 Gangs

01:23:45.820 But I

01:23:46.600 Don't

01:23:46.840 Suggest

01:23:48.420 It

01:23:48.660 I don't

01:23:49.000 Recommend

01:23:49.400 You do

01:23:49.600 The same

01:23:49.900 Thing

01:23:50.080 I did

01:23:50.500 But you

01:23:51.020 Know

01:23:51.140 I don't

01:23:51.540 Regret it

01:23:51.980 Whatever

01:23:52.220 It is

01:23:52.500 A little

01:23:52.700 Gang

01:23:53.040 Life

01:23:53.300 I think

01:23:53.660 That lady 1.00

01:23:54.120 Looks like

01:23:54.540 She could

01:23:54.860 Use

01:23:55.100 Definitely

01:23:55.660 What do you

01:23:56.440 Want a gang

01:23:56.920 Something light

01:23:57.700 Nothing heavy

01:23:58.300 You know

01:23:58.560 Maybe a book club

01:23:59.360 That also buys

01:24:00.020 Knives or something

01:24:00.860 You know

01:24:02.300 She might 0.99

01:24:03.040 Already be part

01:24:03.700 Of one

01:24:03.940 Yeah

01:24:04.360 She's watching

01:24:04.940 Both of us

01:24:05.640 I think

01:24:06.180 Yeah

01:24:06.660 She's not doing 0.97

01:24:07.420 Yeah

01:24:07.560 She's definitely

01:24:08.080 Doing great

01:24:08.680 It's funny

01:24:09.800 To see the

01:24:10.400 Crossover

01:24:10.940 People that

01:24:11.660 Watch the

01:24:12.020 Both of us

01:24:12.540 Because I saw

01:24:15.820 That was coming

01:24:16.120 On

01:24:16.400 And like

01:24:17.900 The picture

01:24:18.240 You picked

01:24:18.560 Of me

01:24:18.740 That was

01:24:19.520 The old

01:24:19.780 Version of me

01:24:20.280 I had no

01:24:20.800 Mullet

01:24:21.140 You know

01:24:21.600 I wasn't

01:24:22.200 My true

01:24:22.600 Form

01:24:23.040 At that

01:24:23.600 Point

01:24:23.880 And there

01:24:25.300 Were people

01:24:25.600 On there

01:24:25.920 Like who 0.99

01:24:26.320 The fuck 0.99

01:24:26.920 Is this 1.00

01:24:27.300 Guy 1.00

01:24:27.500 Like fuck 1.00

01:24:28.340 This guy 1.00

01:24:28.520 Who is this

01:24:28.880 N-word

01:24:29.220 Somebody wrote

01:24:29.600 Me who's this

01:24:30.140 N-word

01:24:30.460 Oh yeah

01:24:31.220 Yeah

01:24:31.620 Yeah

01:24:32.140 Pretty cool

01:24:32.740 I thought 0.99

01:24:33.140 God damn 0.98

01:24:34.000 Yeah that is 0.98

01:24:35.140 Pretty cool

01:24:35.640 Yeah

01:24:37.160 Alright

01:24:37.840 Well I guess

01:24:38.600 You got some

01:24:39.020 Messages but

01:24:39.640 Yeah I saw

01:24:40.120 Like people

01:24:41.100 Comment and stuff

01:24:41.960 Like that

01:24:42.280 They were pissed

01:24:42.740 Off

01:24:43.040 So it's

01:24:43.800 Interesting to

01:24:44.340 See like these

01:24:45.000 Videos it's nice

01:24:45.760 That we do

01:24:46.140 Have crossover

01:24:47.480 Fanbases

01:24:48.640 Yeah her

01:24:49.860 That's it

01:24:51.040 That's the only one

01:24:52.520 And anybody

01:24:53.820 Yeah anybody

01:24:54.500 Who likes getting

01:24:55.060 Their hair cut

01:24:55.580 Uniquely

01:24:56.180 Yeah

01:24:56.600 Which I think

01:24:57.020 Is so many

01:24:57.580 People now

01:24:58.100 Have mullets

01:24:58.640 Man

01:24:58.900 I know

01:24:59.380 It's kind of

01:25:00.320 A little frustrating

01:25:01.200 Because we had

01:25:01.700 We had our thing

01:25:02.540 You know

01:25:03.160 Me you and

01:25:04.000 Kenny Powers

01:25:04.620 And now it's

01:25:05.580 And Kenny really

01:25:06.660 He launched it

01:25:07.300 Years ago but

01:25:07.840 It didn't really

01:25:08.300 Pick up

01:25:08.860 It was almost

01:25:09.300 Just like a

01:25:09.800 Look at the

01:25:10.220 Past kind of

01:25:10.940 Because he

01:25:11.160 I think was

01:25:11.680 A character from

01:25:12.440 The past

01:25:12.960 You know

01:25:13.280 Yeah it's

01:25:14.020 Kind of like

01:25:14.460 He plays an

01:25:15.300 Exaggerated version

01:25:16.020 Of himself

01:25:16.440 I just

01:25:17.220 Before I finish

01:25:18.100 I don't want

01:25:18.600 To leave out

01:25:18.940 Riff Raff

01:25:19.400 Because I know

01:25:19.940 That's a buddy

01:25:20.360 Of yours

01:25:20.660 Yeah

01:25:20.960 I've spoken to

01:25:22.180 Him too

01:25:22.580 About doing

01:25:23.000 Stuff together

01:25:23.540 Like shooting

01:25:24.620 A podcast

01:25:26.060 Or something

01:25:26.540 Together

01:25:26.840 And I know

01:25:27.320 He's an avid

01:25:28.380 Mullet

01:25:29.120 Representation

01:25:31.040 He's an avid

01:25:32.180 He's an avid

01:25:32.200 He's a piece

01:25:32.740 Of hit

01:25:33.140 Riff Raff

01:25:33.940 Should be

01:25:34.280 In a museum

01:25:34.860 Yeah

01:25:35.820 Some people

01:25:36.420 Are like a

01:25:37.040 Segment of

01:25:37.660 Time

01:25:38.180 Trapped in

01:25:38.840 A person

01:25:39.360 And Riff Raff

01:25:41.300 Is like

01:25:41.780 19

01:25:42.440 For me

01:25:44.140 And this

01:25:45.460 Is judgment

01:25:46.040 He's like

01:25:47.560 19

01:25:48.460 Like

01:25:49.740 89

01:25:50.880 To like

01:25:52.240 94 0.98

01:25:53.300 Oh damn 0.98

01:25:54.840 In a person 0.99

01:25:55.640 I was born

01:25:55.820 89

01:25:56.220 Really

01:25:56.740 Wow

01:25:57.300 Yeah

01:25:57.820 Yeah

01:25:58.140 He's

01:25:58.620 I feel like

01:25:59.520 Both of you guys

01:26:00.040 Have that

01:26:00.480 In you

01:26:00.900 You're both

01:26:01.760 Unique in your own

01:26:03.260 Ways

01:26:03.580 Oh yeah

01:26:04.260 He's extremely

01:26:05.400 Unique

01:26:05.840 Because I

01:26:07.080 Went to his

01:26:07.820 Place

01:26:08.260 In Florida

01:26:09.680 He took me

01:26:10.400 Like immediately

01:26:11.080 Like dirt bike

01:26:11.920 Riding in his

01:26:12.440 Neighborhood

01:26:12.880 And quadding

01:26:13.480 In his

01:26:13.700 Neighborhood

01:26:14.080 And it's not

01:26:14.860 Like a neighborhood

01:26:15.300 You go quadding

01:26:15.900 In

01:26:16.080 So the neighbors

01:26:17.320 Are all like

01:26:17.980 Yeah

01:26:19.180 They're all like 0.99

01:26:20.080 Taking their trash

01:26:20.940 Out

01:26:21.140 But that's

01:26:21.400 The only time

01:26:22.080 That dirt biking

01:26:22.920 Or quadding

01:26:23.400 Is fun

01:26:23.840 When it's on

01:26:24.380 The streets

01:26:24.760 Illegally

01:26:25.320 Yeah

01:26:25.760 And if somebody's

01:26:26.400 Flipping you

01:26:26.900 Off while you do it

01:26:27.640 Yeah

01:26:27.800 And what are you

01:26:28.640 Going to go to

01:26:28.960 A dirt track

01:26:29.780 And do it

01:26:30.420 The right way

01:26:30.900 You gotta load it

01:26:31.420 On the truck

01:26:32.040 And get it off 0.99

01:26:32.860 And all that shit 1.00

01:26:33.680 And your mom's 1.00

01:26:34.440 There clapping

01:26:34.980 When you get her back 1.00

01:26:35.940 Sign off this shit 1.00

01:26:37.220 Fuck it 1.00

01:26:37.660 Just ride it 1.00

01:26:38.140 Down the street

01:26:38.760 Join a gang

01:26:40.360 Yeah

01:26:41.640 Like New York

01:26:42.200 And the dirt bikers 0.99

01:26:42.980 In New York

01:26:43.420 Like Meek Mill

01:26:44.260 Over there on the east coast

01:26:45.640 Oh yeah

01:26:46.220 They would just ride

01:26:46.840 The dirt bikes

01:26:47.340 In the street

01:26:47.840 It's way more fun

01:26:48.760 The cops come to chase

01:26:49.800 You just skid

01:26:50.400 Go the other way

01:26:51.080 That's legendary

01:26:52.440 I went to jail for that too

01:26:53.620 You did?

01:26:54.300 Yeah one time

01:26:55.140 But I feel like

01:26:56.440 A lot of things

01:26:57.060 It seemed like

01:26:57.420 You would get stopped for

01:26:58.540 Was there an

01:26:59.880 Did you rebel

01:27:00.980 Against police

01:27:01.800 And that also

01:27:02.960 Helped you get to jail?

01:27:04.280 I wonder

01:27:04.760 Was there an extra element?

01:27:06.040 Yeah

01:27:06.280 Oh yeah 1.00

01:27:07.180 Fuck you 1.00

01:27:07.780 Yeah 1.00

01:27:08.120 That's what I see

01:27:09.120 I see like

01:27:09.980 Okay

01:27:10.260 There's this one

01:27:10.940 Interductory element

01:27:11.940 Where about 80%

01:27:13.240 Of people

01:27:13.600 Maybe make it out of

01:27:14.860 Yeah

01:27:15.360 But Wittek is like 1.00

01:27:16.420 Nah fuck you 1.00

01:27:17.600 I got myself 1.00

01:27:18.280 In a deeper hole

01:27:19.000 I keep digging it

01:27:19.920 Deeper and deeper

01:27:20.580 I'm like that kid

01:27:22.060 In the breakfast club

01:27:22.900 Where he's like

01:27:23.440 He's like

01:27:23.860 You got detention

01:27:24.500 And I'm like 1.00

01:27:24.900 Fuck you 1.00

01:27:25.420 And he's like 1.00

01:27:25.720 Say something again

01:27:26.580 And he's like

01:27:26.920 He just keeps saying it

01:27:27.840 That's me

01:27:28.260 I keep getting time added on

01:27:30.280 Yeah dude

01:27:31.740 Yeah you basically

01:27:32.640 Stop by a police office

01:27:33.760 To ask for directions

01:27:34.660 And next thing you know

01:27:35.700 You're in

01:27:36.100 Freaking solitary confinement

01:27:37.700 For a year 0.99

01:27:38.440 What the fuck did I do? 0.99

01:27:40.380 Yeah 0.99

01:27:40.740 That's a good question

01:27:43.500 That lady had man 1.00

01:27:44.600 I remember being young 0.97

01:27:47.100 And having sex man 0.92

01:27:48.400 And that was the best time 0.96

01:27:49.920 To be sober 0.90

01:27:50.740 And sober sex is for children

01:27:52.140 I've always said that

01:27:53.100 And I believe

01:27:54.860 I was 17 man

01:27:56.340 But when you're

01:27:58.020 Once you get like 12

01:27:59.460 You're just trying to find

01:28:01.460 Somebody who will let you 1.00

01:28:03.140 Put your penis in them 1.00

01:28:04.500 I feel like 1.00

01:28:05.140 You just want to get it done

01:28:06.380 So you can tell your friends

01:28:07.360 That you did it

01:28:07.960 Yeah and tell yourself

01:28:09.320 You can do it

01:28:10.180 Uh huh

01:28:10.560 Yeah

01:28:11.440 Because you're this

01:28:12.540 You're this weird thing 1.00

01:28:13.940 That wants to have sex 1.00

01:28:15.040 And that hasn't done 0.87

01:28:15.760 Your base

01:28:16.500 It's like the legend of Zelda

01:28:17.820 Kinda

01:28:18.180 Now see I don't even know

01:28:20.800 What Zelda is 0.98

01:28:21.640 But I can kinda understand

01:28:23.360 Yeah it's like

01:28:24.020 Final Fantasy

01:28:24.680 Or some game

01:28:25.440 You know

01:28:25.840 It's like I gotta get to the end

01:28:27.060 I gotta defeat the boss

01:28:28.680 You know

01:28:29.080 Yeah

01:28:29.680 The vulva or whatever 0.66

01:28:31.280 I just pissed off 0.90

01:28:32.380 Half your audience there

01:28:33.580 Not knowing what Zelda is

01:28:35.060 No

01:28:35.600 Half of them know me

01:28:36.420 I just wasn't into games

01:28:37.460 The only video games I played

01:28:38.460 Was Grand Theft Auto

01:28:39.220 I'll just go beat somebody up 0.76

01:28:40.380 If you don't feel like

01:28:41.020 Playing the game

01:28:41.600 Just go do a robbery

01:28:42.240 That wasn't Grand Theft Auto dude

01:28:43.340 That was your 20s

01:28:44.400 Okay

01:28:44.680 That wasn't even the game

01:28:46.800 It was just blended

01:28:47.480 I was with a Miami drinking

01:28:49.100 It's Vice City too

01:28:50.100 It is very blended

01:28:51.600 That time

01:28:52.260 Reality

01:28:52.920 And me playing that game

01:28:54.080 In my childhood

01:28:54.740 I might be mixing 0.98

01:28:55.800 Some shit up 0.99

01:28:56.520 That's probably why 0.99

01:28:57.360 I said I was 12 0.99

01:28:58.160 When I fucking lost 1.00

01:28:58.920 My virginity 1.00

01:28:59.380 Of course you did

01:29:00.060 I was thinking about the game

01:29:01.280 Oh you're throwing somebody

01:29:02.100 Out of a cab bro

01:29:03.080 That's why 1.00

01:29:03.520 I was with a prostitute 0.96

01:29:05.000 In Grand Theft Auto 0.98

01:29:06.100 Yeah

01:29:07.600 Yeah you do have

01:29:08.480 Kind of like a

01:29:09.220 Like a Grand Theft Auto

01:29:11.300 Kind of history

01:29:11.960 I feel like

01:29:12.460 I live my life

01:29:13.120 Like Grand Theft Auto

01:29:13.940 Yeah

01:29:14.200 Still to this day

01:29:15.100 Even my place

01:29:16.060 That I live in

01:29:16.620 My apartment

01:29:17.400 It's designed

01:29:18.560 Like the mission

01:29:19.180 Like room

01:29:20.280 Everything I do

01:29:21.380 I go out

01:29:21.860 I do a heist

01:29:22.540 I bring it back there

01:29:23.920 We sort out all the goods

01:29:25.600 You know

01:29:26.740 It's just

01:29:27.160 That's my mission room

01:29:28.140 You have one of those

01:29:28.820 Big bank vault wheels

01:29:30.620 On the front of your refrigerator

01:29:31.620 Yeah

01:29:32.500 On the fridge

01:29:33.680 It's like

01:29:35.200 I'm about to sneak up

01:29:36.300 On this snack

01:29:37.040 Pretty much

01:29:37.960 Yeah do you remember

01:29:39.940 Losing your virginity man

01:29:41.040 Was it a scary time

01:29:42.020 Was it a good time

01:29:42.860 Yeah for me

01:29:43.760 It was a scary time

01:29:45.380 I was in the backyard

01:29:46.240 Of my friend Tom's house

01:29:47.680 We used to hang out

01:29:48.220 Over at Tom's house

01:29:49.000 In his basement

01:29:49.620 That's where all the

01:29:50.340 Whatever we could get into

01:29:51.620 Any trouble

01:29:52.200 You know Tom's parents 0.99

01:29:53.320 Didn't really give a shit 0.99

01:29:54.220 He had like a 0.99

01:29:54.900 We all live in duplexes

01:29:56.560 And my house

01:29:58.020 Was not a duplex

01:29:58.700 But pretty much

01:29:59.400 90% of houses

01:30:00.960 In Staten Island

01:30:01.700 Are duplexes

01:30:02.540 Maybe even a

01:30:03.220 A triplex

01:30:04.620 Or something

01:30:04.920 Yeah

01:30:05.140 Families all

01:30:06.140 Living in the same

01:30:07.280 You could smell the neighbors

01:30:08.220 Cooking when it comes to the vent

01:30:09.520 Yeah

01:30:09.780 We used to have that

01:30:10.740 We lived in a fourplex

01:30:11.900 Oh yeah

01:30:13.060 Fourplex

01:30:13.700 And our neighbors

01:30:14.260 Made liver all the time

01:30:15.540 And we would all

01:30:16.300 When the liver smoke

01:30:17.760 Would come through the vents

01:30:19.260 Bro

01:30:19.580 We would lose it as kids

01:30:21.820 We would go hide

01:30:22.940 Like

01:30:23.220 It was literally

01:30:24.080 Like this weird game

01:30:24.780 Of hide and go seek

01:30:25.560 That happened

01:30:26.000 I forgot about that

01:30:27.080 Yeah

01:30:27.640 The second the liver smoke

01:30:28.920 It would literally

01:30:29.340 The smoke of it

01:30:30.240 Would come through the vents

01:30:31.360 I just got so lost in that

01:30:32.720 I forgot what we were

01:30:33.300 Even talking about

01:30:34.020 I went back to thinking

01:30:35.240 About Riff Raff's hairline

01:30:36.460 Oh yeah

01:30:37.040 I just would love to fix it

01:30:38.140 Just line it up

01:30:38.920 Yeah

01:30:39.380 He pushes it back too much

01:30:40.720 He's got his boy

01:30:41.940 Maserati Matt

01:30:42.780 I think who cuts him up

01:30:43.840 Oh yeah

01:30:44.400 I don't want to

01:30:44.940 Disrespect Maserati Matt

01:30:46.040 I take it back

01:30:46.660 His hairline's perfect

01:30:47.520 I don't want to get

01:30:50.060 Barber beef

01:30:50.900 You know

01:30:51.260 No no

01:30:51.820 Matt's

01:30:52.160 Disrespect other people's work 0.82

01:30:53.580 And was it a scary time

01:30:55.880 What happened

01:30:56.340 Was it

01:30:56.680 You met

01:30:58.100 You knew the girl

01:30:58.860 Oh yeah

01:30:59.360 So Tom's parents

01:31:00.260 Would be up on the third floor

01:31:01.440 And we would have

01:31:01.900 The basement down

01:31:02.720 So now we're down

01:31:03.540 Like four levels

01:31:04.380 We're underground

01:31:04.980 We could do whatever

01:31:05.640 We want down there

01:31:06.480 Beautiful

01:31:07.240 Finally we get some girls 1.00

01:31:10.020 Over to Tom's basement

01:31:11.720 And then that's finally

01:31:13.220 When I was able to close the deal

01:31:14.380 Now were both girls 0.97

01:31:15.460 That night

01:31:15.940 Was it a plan

01:31:16.700 Like we're all

01:31:17.220 I had to go out

01:31:17.820 In the backyard

01:31:18.380 Because the basement down there

01:31:20.960 There was always people

01:31:21.660 Hanging out

01:31:22.080 It was like this room

01:31:23.160 Pretty much

01:31:23.680 You know

01:31:24.060 So we couldn't get

01:31:24.640 Anything done in there

01:31:25.320 Went out in the backyard

01:31:26.740 On a beach towel

01:31:28.780 Oh yeah

01:31:29.200 This is where I lost

01:31:30.020 My virginity

01:31:30.840 That was the first time

01:31:31.740 Yeah 1.00

01:31:32.800 I hope my fucking mother 1.00

01:31:34.100 Doesn't watch this one 1.00

01:31:35.020 She knows

01:31:35.600 She knows in her heart

01:31:36.480 That's two things

01:31:37.300 That I said

01:31:37.660 She knows the way

01:31:38.340 That you came home

01:31:39.020 After that

01:31:39.580 And complained about

01:31:40.380 The sandwich

01:31:41.000 That she made for you

01:31:42.340 She knows

01:31:42.840 I came back with an attitude

01:31:43.720 Yeah

01:31:44.140 Hey mom make me a sandwich 1.00

01:31:45.780 I got a fucking beach towel 1.00

01:31:48.460 On my back 1.00

01:31:49.740 Yeah damn 1.00

01:31:51.040 My poor mother 1.00

01:31:52.360 Have you been to Jones Beach

01:31:53.880 Is that how about you guys

01:31:54.660 Jones Beach

01:31:55.100 Yeah

01:31:55.380 I went to Jones Beach

01:31:56.680 As a kid

01:31:57.200 Oh that's cool

01:31:57.900 I caught a fish there

01:31:58.900 I caught a striped bass

01:32:00.040 Off the beach

01:32:00.660 Wow

01:32:01.520 Yeah maybe that's what I need

01:32:03.200 As you know

01:32:04.100 We were talking about

01:32:04.520 The reset button earlier

01:32:05.520 Maybe it's just a good

01:32:06.300 Fishing trip

01:32:06.920 We were old man

01:32:07.720 You know

01:32:08.040 Just go out on a boat

01:32:09.040 Or a lake

01:32:10.160 You know

01:32:10.980 Whatever

01:32:11.800 On the ocean

01:32:12.620 Or lake

01:32:13.060 Whatever

01:32:13.360 Just fishing

01:32:13.980 I feel like I'm always

01:32:16.120 Searching for a reset

01:32:17.420 Do you feel like that?

01:32:18.660 Yeah

01:32:18.960 Yeah cause things are going

01:32:20.880 Good for me right now

01:32:21.780 I am actually resetting

01:32:23.220 I'm starting back up

01:32:23.940 The barbershop show

01:32:24.700 And that was kind of

01:32:25.580 Stressful to kind of

01:32:26.660 Reset that

01:32:27.380 Because it's something

01:32:28.140 I'm so used to

01:32:29.640 And I did it for so long

01:32:30.720 And I'm like

01:32:31.460 I'm proud of those episodes

01:32:32.720 That we did

01:32:33.740 And now we gotta kind of

01:32:35.420 Start that back up again

01:32:37.380 And do that character

01:32:38.780 It's kind of a 0.99

01:32:39.320 Bat shit crazy barber 0.99

01:32:40.520 Was it a real 1.00

01:32:41.960 Was that really

01:32:43.520 The way it ended

01:32:44.160 With the guy?

01:32:45.640 That was kind of

01:32:46.580 Like a

01:32:47.220 Heightened version

01:32:48.040 Of the metaphor

01:32:48.880 Yeah

01:32:49.420 It was like

01:32:50.300 Me letting go of the old me

01:32:51.620 That would burn down

01:32:53.080 His restaurant 1.00

01:32:53.700 If he fucked me over 1.00

01:32:54.760 And said 1.00

01:32:55.420 You know

01:32:55.740 You gotta 1.00

01:32:56.220 Get your shit out 1.00

01:32:57.320 Of my house 1.00

01:32:57.860 Which was my house

01:32:59.460 Yeah

01:32:59.800 He moved into my house

01:33:01.120 And said 1.00

01:33:01.480 Get your shit out 1.00

01:33:02.340 And then went 1.00

01:33:03.820 And had this successful business

01:33:04.980 I would have 0.98

01:33:05.420 Fucking burned it down 0.99

01:33:06.260 But because of my love 0.99

01:33:07.140 And respect for his family

01:33:08.480 And me putting that

01:33:10.460 Old version of myself behind

01:33:11.820 That was me transitioning

01:33:13.620 In that moment

01:33:14.620 Yeah

01:33:15.440 It's very weird

01:33:17.200 That all this happens

01:33:18.220 On a haircut show

01:33:19.040 When all you have to do is

01:33:21.460 Cut the person's hair

01:33:22.860 And interview them

01:33:23.480 But

01:33:23.980 But haircut's such a

01:33:25.040 Changing of the guard

01:33:26.100 When you go get a haircut

01:33:27.060 It's such a like

01:33:28.020 No pun intended

01:33:28.760 Yeah

01:33:29.500 It's such a like

01:33:30.920 How am I gonna leave here?

01:33:32.260 How am I

01:33:32.760 Who am I

01:33:33.540 What am I trying to be

01:33:35.300 When I

01:33:35.840 You know

01:33:36.440 Go back into my life

01:33:37.580 Am I just gonna have

01:33:38.440 The same vibe?

01:33:39.600 Am I gonna

01:33:40.060 You know

01:33:40.740 Going to get a haircut

01:33:42.000 Making some hair choices

01:33:44.160 There's a real thing to it

01:33:45.620 You know

01:33:45.920 I want the hair

01:33:46.820 Exactly the same

01:33:47.780 Because everything's

01:33:48.480 Going great

01:33:49.100 I don't want

01:33:49.480 I don't want anything

01:33:50.340 To be adjusted

01:33:51.060 Let's get it

01:33:51.720 The same

01:33:52.540 You know

01:33:53.020 Trying to hold on

01:33:54.340 Yeah

01:33:54.740 Or I want it to look

01:33:56.080 A certain way

01:33:56.360 You see guys

01:33:57.100 Sometimes have the same

01:33:58.120 The haircut

01:33:58.760 That you could tell

01:33:59.400 That they've had

01:34:00.040 Since they was

01:34:00.540 Freaking four years old

01:34:02.160 You know what I'm saying

01:34:02.620 Yeah

01:34:02.820 And you're like

01:34:03.520 Oh that guy is

01:34:04.640 He's sticking with what works

01:34:06.520 That guy's missionary hair 0.81

01:34:08.120 Yeah

01:34:08.520 But guys got it easy

01:34:10.820 Because you can always

01:34:11.500 Like grow your hair back

01:34:12.580 In a couple weeks

01:34:13.200 You know

01:34:13.500 When women make a change 1.00

01:34:14.560 It's a big deal

01:34:15.180 You know

01:34:15.640 That's why they want

01:34:16.200 The guy to comment on it

01:34:17.360 Oh you didn't notice anything

01:34:18.760 There's nothing different

01:34:19.740 About me

01:34:20.300 You know

01:34:20.900 It's a big deal

01:34:22.260 For them

01:34:22.560 You know

01:34:23.280 Yeah that is true man

01:34:24.560 And I think especially

01:34:25.400 As women get older 0.97

01:34:26.420 And stuff

01:34:26.840 Want the hair 0.99

01:34:27.540 You know

01:34:28.120 The hair always can look nice

01:34:29.560 Uh huh

01:34:30.080 Yeah

01:34:30.840 And so they get their hair done

01:34:32.920 But yeah

01:34:33.920 For a guy

01:34:34.920 When you change up your hairstyle

01:34:36.120 It doesn't happen often

01:34:37.120 In life

01:34:37.840 Unless you're

01:34:39.040 Who's a good example

01:34:39.620 Shane O'Malley

01:34:40.980 Is always changing his hairstyle up

01:34:42.580 Yeah

01:34:42.800 Or whatever

01:34:43.200 But

01:34:44.220 Sugar Sean

01:34:45.020 There's not much guys

01:34:46.200 That really do that

01:34:47.120 Like maybe

01:34:47.920 Abe Lincoln did happily 0.51

01:34:48.900 He had a mullet at some point

01:34:50.180 Didn't he

01:34:50.620 No

01:34:51.560 Abe Lincoln had a mullet

01:34:53.240 I think he did

01:34:54.080 There's a drawing of him

01:34:56.340 I've been to his home

01:34:57.340 Uh

01:34:58.040 His home that he grew up

01:34:59.000 And there's a drawing of him

01:34:59.960 Actually with longer hair

01:35:00.940 Huh

01:35:02.900 There you go

01:35:08.200 Oh

01:35:08.480 That's gotta be doctored

01:35:10.040 I feel like one of your fans

01:35:12.040 Made that edit

01:35:12.600 I don't know man 0.99

01:35:14.940 That shit looks pretty fire 1.00

01:35:16.320 This is the fucking 1.00

01:35:17.220 Theo Bones 1.00

01:35:17.480 Are you telling me

01:35:18.180 If that dude 0.99

01:35:18.840 Fucking reddit page 0.99

01:35:19.840 Bro that dude rolls up 1.00

01:35:20.940 To president bro

01:35:21.980 I'm voting

01:35:23.140 That one too

01:35:23.880 The America one 0.70

01:35:24.860 I'm voting

01:35:25.400 I'm voting legally bro

01:35:27.240 If that dude rolls up

01:35:28.640 Okay

01:35:29.860 That is doctored

01:35:30.900 That's fake

01:35:32.760 That's fake

01:35:35.700 Yeah

01:35:36.440 This guy had a question

01:35:37.300 About his hairstyling days

01:35:38.920 Yeah this guy looks like

01:35:39.860 The type of guy

01:35:40.320 That would get nervous

01:35:40.860 Going into a barber

01:35:41.680 Going into like

01:35:42.500 The super cuts

01:35:43.120 Probably doesn't have

01:35:43.620 A regular barber

01:35:44.300 That he visits

01:35:44.860 Goes to new people

01:35:45.900 Every time

01:35:46.540 Yeah

01:35:47.420 Do you trust people

01:35:48.980 That go to a new person

01:35:49.800 Every time

01:35:50.300 What kind of person is that

01:35:51.800 Person that just 0.99

01:35:52.500 Doesn't give a fuck 0.89

01:35:53.260 Just lives day to day 0.98

01:35:54.800 That is

01:35:55.200 But bro

01:35:55.800 That is like

01:35:56.360 That's like the

01:35:57.240 Pablo Escobar

01:35:58.540 Of haircuts 1.00

01:35:59.020 Like you are fucking 1.00

01:36:00.240 To go to a different 1.00

01:36:01.320 Person every time

01:36:02.660 Yeah

01:36:03.060 So that's what

01:36:04.160 This kid does

01:36:04.660 Do we know that

01:36:05.140 About him yet

01:36:05.700 We should assume it 0.98

01:36:07.500 I'm okay to assume that

01:36:09.140 I'm that person though

01:36:10.180 Oh really

01:36:10.980 We go to a different

01:36:11.520 Barber every time

01:36:12.340 Just whatever's closest

01:36:13.540 Or open

01:36:14.260 Or whatever

01:36:15.080 Yeah

01:36:15.620 So you're not from here

01:36:16.940 No

01:36:17.380 No

01:36:17.700 I would do great clips

01:36:18.800 And sports clips

01:36:19.720 When I was in Minneapolis

01:36:20.680 And it would always be

01:36:21.680 A new lady

01:36:22.260 Whose fingers

01:36:22.900 Smelled like cigarettes

01:36:23.800 And yeah

01:36:24.980 Man I had like

01:36:26.820 I had this Italian guy

01:36:29.180 That

01:36:29.440 The barbershop

01:36:31.280 That I went to

01:36:31.800 Growing up

01:36:32.320 I can't believe

01:36:34.680 I can't remember 1.00

01:36:35.160 The fucking name 1.00

01:36:35.840 Right now 0.99

01:36:36.440 But this place

01:36:37.680 Was like handed down

01:36:38.500 From generations

01:36:39.300 Of like

01:36:40.020 Just Italian sons 1.00

01:36:41.820 That would take over 0.58

01:36:42.500 The barbershop

01:36:43.040 So cool

01:36:43.600 And yeah 0.99

01:36:45.500 I feel like shit 0.97

01:36:46.440 I can't remember this name 0.99

01:36:47.320 But who knows

01:36:48.480 That might have been

01:36:48.960 In Grand Theft Auto 2

01:36:49.920 That I'm just

01:36:50.640 Dreaming this up in

01:36:51.580 I don't know

01:36:52.680 I don't know

01:36:53.580 Man it's crazy

01:36:54.400 Your life is just

01:36:55.200 Kind of a merger

01:36:55.960 Between Grand Theft Auto

01:36:57.140 And real life

01:36:57.880 Jeff Wittig

01:36:58.500 Yeah

01:36:59.200 We got to the bottom of it

01:37:01.180 This is my therapy session

01:37:02.360 For the week

01:37:03.100 You know 1.00

01:37:03.500 Save me fucking 1.00

01:37:04.600 80 bucks 1.00

01:37:05.820 Or whatever

01:37:06.320 You're like John Wick

01:37:07.520 If you're doing better help

01:37:07.760 John Wick

01:37:08.900 You're better than John

01:37:09.660 This episode's better

01:37:10.640 Than the movie John Wick

01:37:11.420 That's what's crazy

01:37:12.720 Didn't he ride a horse 1.00

01:37:13.960 And fucking rob 1.00

01:37:14.900 Like a 1.00

01:37:15.440 Sure he did dude

01:37:16.700 He did a robbery

01:37:17.760 While riding a horse

01:37:19.060 This guy's in a barn

01:37:19.860 Times Square

01:37:20.400 This guy's

01:37:20.880 I didn't even watch the movie

01:37:21.980 I just watched that one scene

01:37:23.160 If you even just look at the box

01:37:24.540 The picture

01:37:24.900 You get the whole film

01:37:25.780 I feel like

01:37:27.260 Theo Vaughn

01:37:28.760 And Jeff Wittig

01:37:30.200 Two delectable specimens

01:37:32.200 This one's for Jeff

01:37:34.180 What's the best

01:37:36.540 Hairdressing story you have?

01:37:39.280 Gang gang 0.75

01:37:39.740 Oh

01:37:40.480 Amber Rose walked into the barbershop 1.00

01:37:43.000 And she was like

01:37:44.160 I want you to shave

01:37:45.620 My head 0.94

01:37:46.780 And my sister's head

01:37:47.660 And this is when she was dating Kanye West

01:37:49.840 And I was like

01:37:50.640 You look like Kanye West's girlfriend

01:37:53.260 And she was like

01:37:54.260 Sweetie I am Kanye West's girlfriend 0.97

01:37:56.520 I was like all fucking nervous 0.99

01:37:57.780 Damn 0.99

01:37:58.240 And she was beautiful in person 1.00

01:38:02.060 Like fucking 0.99

01:38:03.080 I was 0.99

01:38:03.520 I was very shy

01:38:05.320 At the time

01:38:06.380 And I did it

01:38:08.020 I shaved her heads 0.98

01:38:08.840 And I ended up dating her sister

01:38:11.880 For a while after that

01:38:13.100 No way

01:38:13.180 I shaved her head 0.99

01:38:14.020 And yeah

01:38:15.620 She was beautiful too

01:38:16.600 It wasn't her sister

01:38:18.020 She was just

01:38:18.680 Is cutting a woman hair 1.00

01:38:21.360 A good way

01:38:22.960 Maybe do Jeff

01:38:23.280 Maybe do Amber Rose Jeff Wittig

01:38:24.820 Maybe we can find something

01:38:25.820 This might reveal something from my past

01:38:28.460 That

01:38:28.740 You had no idea about

01:38:31.040 Maybe I won't even

01:38:32.140 She almost feels like

01:38:33.220 Kathy Griffin's kind of son

01:38:34.380 No that's not

01:38:35.180 That's not it

01:38:36.960 Ooh

01:38:37.260 I guess there's no

01:38:40.480 Oh there's me and Pauly D

01:38:41.660 Oh yeah

01:38:42.520 Those are good stories too

01:38:43.860 Oh yeah Pauly D's

01:38:44.560 The situation would come to the barbershop

01:38:47.820 A lot

01:38:48.480 He would

01:38:48.900 Yeah cause he was

01:38:50.780 You know a barbershop is a one stop shop

01:38:53.620 You go for a haircut

01:38:54.600 You go

01:38:54.900 You get everything

01:38:55.420 Yeah

01:38:56.040 So he would come in

01:38:57.180 You get your gram

01:38:57.640 You get your deal

01:38:58.680 You get your dauber

01:38:59.660 So yeah he would pop in a lot

01:39:01.860 Mike Sorrentino

01:39:02.940 And he's on the juice

01:39:04.260 I don't know if I'm saying he's on the juice

01:39:05.700 But I would bet

01:39:06.340 But are a lot of these guys in New Jersey

01:39:08.320 On the juice

01:39:08.880 Or they just look like this

01:39:10.640 I think it's

01:39:11.260 I don't know

01:39:11.660 His cheeks look all inflated

01:39:13.480 I think that's a side effect of

01:39:15.100 Yeah

01:39:16.340 Testosterone

01:39:17.080 Yeah I used to do testosterone man

01:39:19.560 And I loved it

01:39:20.720 And I would get jacked

01:39:22.700 That's probably why

01:39:24.020 That picture I thought was you

01:39:25.360 Oh yeah that's true

01:39:26.140 Dude what about this

01:39:28.540 So

01:39:28.880 Oh he celebrates five years of sobriety man

01:39:30.620 That's amazing

01:39:31.480 That was just in

01:39:32.920 I'm sure he's doing ketamine therapy

01:39:34.740 And stuff like that though

01:39:35.700 He didn't read the fine print down there

01:39:37.100 He might be on mushrooms

01:39:38.360 Weed and ketamine therapy

01:39:39.340 Yeah that's true

01:39:40.520 So

01:39:41.280 There's a lot of people trying to find different ways

01:39:43.180 To get around it man

01:39:44.200 Yeah like

01:39:44.600 There's a lot of successful people in Hollywood

01:39:46.420 That say they're sober

01:39:47.220 But I hear rumors that

01:39:48.280 Behind the scenes they're not

01:39:49.280 Yeah

01:39:49.740 I don't know Jared Lettle personally

01:39:51.720 I don't want to call it

01:39:52.900 Like say that it's him

01:39:53.760 But

01:39:54.000 How's that guy sober

01:39:55.320 Yeah

01:39:55.660 You know

01:39:55.900 He's a rock star 1.00

01:39:57.240 Fucking doing performances 1.00

01:39:59.120 In front of millions 1.00

01:40:00.500 Is he in Kings of Leon

01:40:01.360 No I think he's got his own thing

01:40:03.960 30 Seconds to Mars

01:40:05.740 30 Seconds to Mars

01:40:06.620 Oh wow that's a good thing

01:40:07.120 Same thing

01:40:07.540 Yeah same band

01:40:08.780 But yeah he's sober

01:40:10.780 And he did Requiem for a Dream

01:40:12.860 He was in Fight Club

01:40:14.100 He was the guy that got beat up

01:40:15.160 Yeah

01:40:15.460 With the blonde hair

01:40:15.980 You know

01:40:16.940 Yeah you'd think you'd have to

01:40:19.040 Gram out after that

01:40:20.040 At some point

01:40:20.620 Or bowl up

01:40:21.400 But who knows

01:40:22.980 Like how do you come up with jokes

01:40:25.200 I just like to talk

01:40:27.520 I start talking on stage

01:40:28.680 Or I'll think of something

01:40:29.560 From growing up

01:40:30.320 And I'll start there usually

01:40:31.520 Yeah

01:40:32.060 I think I like a memory

01:40:32.820 From growing up

01:40:33.660 That usually makes me

01:40:35.120 Feel pretty good

01:40:35.860 And then I'll try

01:40:36.520 And come from there

01:40:37.400 I don't like telling jokes

01:40:38.940 When I don't feel

01:40:39.700 Like happy though

01:40:40.840 Yeah

01:40:41.340 So if I'm in a bad mood man

01:40:43.080 Which I've been in for a while

01:40:44.700 I don't like telling jokes

01:40:45.920 That much

01:40:46.460 Yeah my whole

01:40:47.120 The whole year of recovery

01:40:48.140 While my eye was growing back 0.98

01:40:49.400 It was fucking hard 0.98

01:40:50.680 To think of jokes 0.99

01:40:51.800 Were you agitated a lot?

01:40:53.440 Yeah and I just thought

01:40:54.220 I would never have confidence again

01:40:56.020 Not the confidence part

01:40:58.080 I knew that

01:41:00.240 You know

01:41:00.660 Eventually I would stop 1.00

01:41:01.440 Giving a fuck 0.99

01:41:02.060 Over time 1.00

01:41:02.720 I would just get used to it

01:41:03.560 But I just was worried

01:41:05.300 At people looking at me

01:41:06.660 And the first thing

01:41:07.140 They feel is bad for you

01:41:08.480 You know

01:41:08.920 Oh yeah

01:41:10.060 How does that translate

01:41:10.920 As you know

01:41:11.780 Can I make people happy

01:41:13.320 And make them laugh

01:41:14.340 You know

01:41:15.180 That's going to be tough

01:41:15.940 To overcome that

01:41:17.080 But

01:41:18.000 Oh that's interesting

01:41:19.020 Yeah and then do you become

01:41:19.860 Like a charity case

01:41:20.960 Or anything

01:41:21.280 Yeah you become a charity case

01:41:22.780 Like it's

01:41:23.460 Like whenever you walk

01:41:24.320 Past somebody

01:41:24.940 And you see like

01:41:25.720 They're in a wheelchair 1.00

01:41:26.960 Or they have like a

01:41:27.900 Like a fake

01:41:28.420 Like prosthetic leg

01:41:29.620 Or something like that

01:41:30.260 Like it's always the first thing

01:41:31.220 You're drawn to naturally

01:41:32.140 You know just as humans

01:41:33.360 That's what we do

01:41:34.020 Yeah it's a surprise

01:41:34.960 Yeah exactly

01:41:36.560 It's just a shock

01:41:37.360 And then it's like

01:41:38.240 Oh no I'm a comedian

01:41:39.420 And then it's just so hard

01:41:40.360 To get past that 1.00

01:41:41.100 Fucking prosthetic leg 1.00

01:41:42.120 Or something like that 1.00

01:41:43.000 Yeah

01:41:43.500 I have to compare

01:41:44.060 People are like

01:41:44.460 Oh come over here

01:41:45.140 And see this one legged guy

01:41:46.320 Who's a great comedian

01:41:47.180 You know what I'm saying

01:41:47.600 People are just like

01:41:48.360 They're where their brain goes

01:41:49.400 You can be staring at that leg

01:41:50.300 The whole time

01:41:50.780 But I watched

01:41:53.600 Michael Bisping documentary

01:41:55.500 On how he lost his eye

01:41:57.260 Or was like battling his eye stuff

01:41:59.040 And he was getting surgeries on it

01:42:02.100 And one of the surgeries got infected

01:42:03.900 And that's when he eventually

01:42:05.440 Like I think he lost his eye

01:42:06.780 I'm not sure exactly

01:42:07.780 A hundred percent

01:42:08.480 I'm supposed to talk to him soon

01:42:10.200 It doesn't work well

01:42:11.560 But he still has it in his head

01:42:13.160 Oh yeah

01:42:14.260 I saw

01:42:15.320 They took it out

01:42:15.940 I saw a thumb

01:42:16.900 He can take it out completely

01:42:18.120 If you take it out

01:42:19.060 It doesn't reattach

01:42:19.940 It's not like an iPhone charger

01:42:21.840 Yeah

01:42:22.360 No

01:42:22.920 Unless this is

01:42:23.880 Oh no

01:42:25.800 So he lost his eye

01:42:27.120 A hundred percent

01:42:28.080 Yeah

01:42:28.440 And he won the belt

01:42:30.460 With one eye

01:42:31.640 Yeah he beat Luke Rockhold

01:42:32.760 That's not saying much

01:42:33.960 You know

01:42:34.340 He won the belt

01:42:35.560 I didn't

01:42:36.100 Here's the crazy part

01:42:37.060 Luke Rockhold

01:42:37.440 I'm just kidding

01:42:38.020 Luke Rockhold

01:42:38.780 If you watch this

01:42:39.580 I don't know

01:42:39.860 I know you got a lot of

01:42:40.440 Luke Rockhold's so good looking dude

01:42:42.120 We can make fun of him

01:42:42.960 Okay yeah that's true

01:42:43.900 That's the only thing

01:42:44.780 I love you Luke

01:42:45.440 But he's gonna be fine

01:42:46.460 Okay

01:42:46.840 Luke Rockhold dude

01:42:49.360 If he doesn't have a fight

01:42:50.540 With UFC

01:42:50.880 He's definitely going

01:42:51.600 A few rounds

01:42:52.440 With somebody's wife 1.00

01:42:53.640 Somewhere okay

01:42:54.320 Oh yeah

01:42:54.720 Luke Rockhold

01:42:55.560 Is doing fine bro

01:42:57.640 Yeah so he beat Luke Rockhold

01:42:59.680 For the title

01:43:00.820 He won the belt

01:43:01.440 One eye

01:43:01.720 Then he should be

01:43:03.560 The super champion

01:43:04.940 Pound for pound

01:43:05.480 Yes

01:43:05.820 Cause pound for pound

01:43:07.200 How much does an eye weigh

01:43:08.060 If you take that

01:43:09.560 Out of the head bro

01:43:10.340 That's a magical ounce

01:43:11.400 Cause think 0.53

01:43:11.800 If Khabib or Jon Jones

01:43:13.260 Had to wear eye patches

01:43:14.020 For all those fights

01:43:14.800 They're not having perfect

01:43:17.020 Squeaky clean records

01:43:18.240 You know 0.99

01:43:18.900 I don't give a fuck 0.99

01:43:20.180 Dude 0.99

01:43:20.280 This thing might have just

01:43:21.060 Cause here's the crazy part

01:43:22.060 I've talked to him

01:43:22.760 20 times in person

01:43:23.820 And never even realized

01:43:25.360 I knew he'd had a bad eye

01:43:26.680 But I didn't

01:43:27.160 I just thought it was

01:43:27.880 Just a test

01:43:28.580 I didn't know

01:43:29.160 That it was unworking

01:43:30.060 Yeah

01:43:30.880 That it was a fake eye

01:43:32.160 You'd never know

01:43:33.200 Can you tell

01:43:34.340 With mine

01:43:35.000 I'm just kidding

01:43:36.820 Oh my god bro

01:43:37.900 Yeah you did for a second 0.99

01:43:39.420 That's fucked up 0.98

01:43:39.640 Especially on this topic 0.98

01:43:40.740 Now I'm

01:43:41.420 I wouldn't be surprised

01:43:42.680 Let me make an apology video

01:43:43.780 I was doing a prank

01:43:45.460 On Theo there

01:43:46.160 That was not

01:43:46.840 Meant to be disrespectful 1.00

01:43:47.560 Fuck man 1.00

01:43:48.140 That's racist dude 1.00

01:43:49.060 I'm playing with fire 0.97

01:43:49.780 Oh look at Joe

01:43:50.800 Eye

01:43:51.140 You take out

01:43:52.020 I might run into

01:43:53.000 Eye troubles in the future 0.96

01:43:54.020 I'm fucking really 0.98

01:43:55.060 Playing with fire 0.99

01:43:55.740 Making eye jokes like that

01:43:57.600 You wonder what will come

01:43:59.040 Sometimes I wonder

01:43:59.860 Of all the things

01:44:00.660 Being recorded

01:44:01.380 Since we record

01:44:02.300 So much stuff

01:44:03.000 How easily it would be

01:44:04.740 For anything to come back

01:44:05.800 And haunt you

01:44:06.380 You know

01:44:06.920 Somebody just makes

01:44:08.100 A deep fake on you

01:44:09.300 Notice your life

01:44:10.000 In the future

01:44:10.500 Like say anything happens

01:44:11.720 You're like

01:44:12.000 Well you said this

01:44:13.220 And it's just like

01:44:14.000 This is just karma

01:44:15.380 You know what I'm saying

01:44:15.980 Like the Virginia

01:44:16.060 Losing your Virginia thing

01:44:17.360 I don't even remember that

01:44:18.400 I don't know why

01:44:19.020 It's not even true

01:44:19.720 Yeah

01:44:21.540 You're right 1.00

01:44:22.500 We're fucked 1.00

01:44:23.040 We're fucked 1.00

01:44:25.580 We did it to ourselves 1.00

01:44:27.060 This is what we signed up for

01:44:28.360 I know we did

01:44:29.180 You know

01:44:30.440 It is what it is

01:44:31.340 But what did we sign up for

01:44:32.340 That we wanted people

01:44:33.180 To know who we were

01:44:34.260 What did we sign up for

01:44:35.340 That's what I wanted

01:44:36.000 I think to be remembered

01:44:36.840 So when we have

01:44:37.580 Our great great grandchildren

01:44:38.720 They could look at

01:44:39.680 At our old podcast

01:44:40.740 And see when we

01:44:42.160 Talked about 0.99

01:44:43.900 Fucking 0.99

01:44:44.500 I don't know 1.00

01:44:46.200 Ketamine therapy

01:44:47.040 But you know what

01:44:48.560 It'll be though

01:44:49.260 It'll be

01:44:50.080 It'll be a three minute best

01:44:53.020 All the episodes

01:44:53.860 Will be surmounted

01:44:54.560 In a three minute best of clip

01:44:55.740 I mean even if I go watch

01:44:56.780 Muhammad Ali

01:44:57.380 Sometimes I'll watch

01:44:58.220 A whole fight

01:44:58.700 Once in a while

01:44:59.600 Yeah

01:44:59.920 But mostly I just go see

01:45:02.420 Muhammad Ali's greatest moments

01:45:05.020 Yeah

01:45:06.460 You know

01:45:07.280 And it's six minutes

01:45:08.180 Of great moments

01:45:09.000 But you're a busy guy

01:45:10.240 I'm sure a lot of people

01:45:11.380 Like you know

01:45:12.540 People are submitting questions

01:45:13.680 Maybe they got time

01:45:14.440 To watch the

01:45:15.220 The

01:45:16.400 A full segment

01:45:17.240 Yeah

01:45:17.780 Do a deep dive

01:45:19.240 Into Muhammad Ali

01:45:19.940 You know

01:45:20.580 I don't know

01:45:21.840 Where

01:45:22.060 We make the content

01:45:23.400 So we don't get to

01:45:24.560 Consume as much

01:45:25.280 Because we're too busy

01:45:26.020 Making it

01:45:26.860 But I think you gotta

01:45:28.140 Make time to consume too

01:45:29.340 Just not all the

01:45:30.620 Awareness stuff

01:45:31.440 You know

01:45:31.800 Like you gotta find

01:45:32.940 Your places

01:45:33.740 To find your content

01:45:34.600 Yeah

01:45:35.220 And what is it

01:45:35.920 Netflix 0.99

01:45:36.440 I don't wanna fucking 0.99

01:45:37.520 Watch Netflix 0.96

01:45:38.340 Not super often

01:45:40.080 A lot of it

01:45:40.700 I don't know

01:45:42.280 Hulu's hard to manage

01:45:43.680 I will say this

01:45:44.200 Netflix is the most

01:45:45.160 Manageable with the remote

01:45:46.800 Yeah

01:45:47.500 Hulu is hard

01:45:49.020 Hulu's like having a

01:45:50.080 Diorama dude

01:45:51.100 And asking it to

01:45:51.980 Change channels

01:45:52.520 I don't even mess

01:45:53.080 With it anymore

01:45:53.640 It's got too confusing

01:45:54.800 For me

01:45:55.100 I won't even touch it

01:45:56.080 It switches to

01:45:57.260 Two different interfaces

01:45:58.040 It's very

01:45:58.600 Very strange

01:45:59.780 And Spotify

01:46:00.460 Is tough too

01:46:01.620 Cause I used to watch

01:46:02.340 Joe Rogan's podcast

01:46:03.320 On the TV

01:46:03.920 And fall asleep to it

01:46:05.140 No disrespect

01:46:06.020 It's just you know

01:46:06.780 Yeah

01:46:07.280 That's when I have time

01:46:07.940 To watch stuff

01:46:08.660 Oh dude yeah

01:46:09.420 It's at night

01:46:09.960 And you can't do that

01:46:11.540 Anymore with Spotify

01:46:12.240 So I haven't watched

01:46:13.460 A Joe Rogan podcast 0.99

01:46:14.280 In fucking 0.99

01:46:14.880 Probably a good year 0.99

01:46:17.080 You know

01:46:18.600 Yeah when he gets on there

01:46:19.740 With that spacey brother dude

01:46:21.200 That's when I would

01:46:21.820 Really zone out

01:46:22.680 Yeah

01:46:23.000 Yeah yeah

01:46:24.300 Tyron Woodley

01:46:25.300 Or whatever that guy's name is

01:46:26.180 Tyron Woodley

01:46:26.920 No

01:46:27.760 He's not talking about 1.00

01:46:28.940 Fucking 0.99

01:46:29.300 Space 1.00

01:46:30.760 Montgomery

01:46:31.720 What's that guy's name

01:46:32.700 I don't even know

01:46:33.680 Tyron Woodley

01:46:34.300 Believes in space 1.00

01:46:35.240 You know I saw a billboard

01:46:37.480 For the Tyron Woodley fight

01:46:38.880 And it was only Jake on it

01:46:40.760 It was

01:46:41.720 Hilarious

01:46:42.400 It was on Sunset

01:46:43.220 This guy is a UFC champion

01:46:45.420 And you have only

01:46:46.860 That's messed up dude

01:46:47.960 Unless Jake

01:46:48.660 Made that part of his contract

01:46:49.880 It said showtime

01:46:50.560 In the corner

01:46:51.140 Like how disrespectful

01:46:53.700 Can you be

01:46:54.460 You know

01:46:55.280 Oh my god

01:46:56.040 Come watch his fight

01:46:57.420 Only one guy

01:46:59.140 He's gonna be fighting

01:46:59.780 Someone else

01:47:00.480 He's just fighting his own

01:47:02.280 How much money

01:47:02.920 He's fighting his banking

01:47:03.800 How much money he's gonna make

01:47:04.840 He's fighting

01:47:05.200 He's fighting with his accountant

01:47:06.660 After

01:47:07.120 Man that's like my 0.99

01:47:08.400 Fucking crane video 0.99

01:47:09.640 I put the uncensored one 0.99

01:47:10.700 On Patreon

01:47:11.260 Like this is like

01:47:12.080 Just me doing something

01:47:13.800 Like it's

01:47:14.580 You get to

01:47:15.300 It's like a pay-per-view

01:47:16.400 Yeah totally

01:47:17.080 But it's just me versus a crane

01:47:18.020 And how much did people pay

01:47:19.080 Over all you think

01:47:19.780 Well I broke the record

01:47:21.900 On Patreon

01:47:22.440 No way

01:47:23.000 Subscriptions

01:47:23.500 Yeah for

01:47:24.020 Like just

01:47:24.760 A lot of them came

01:47:25.600 Just to see the video

01:47:26.300 And then left

01:47:26.800 But now I do like

01:47:28.260 Extra podcasts there and stuff

01:47:29.400 But um

01:47:29.900 For that one month

01:47:30.880 We had 47,000

01:47:31.660 People signed up

01:47:32.580 And how much is the Patreon

01:47:33.520 It was like $5

01:47:35.020 $10 a month

01:47:36.180 Wow

01:47:36.500 $20

01:47:36.860 If you wanted to see some nudes

01:47:38.240 Slip some nudes in there 1.00

01:47:39.280 Really?

01:47:39.840 Have you ever others?

01:47:40.240 I never did it

01:47:40.640 I never worked out

01:47:41.200 The confidence to do it

01:47:42.200 I just put that option out

01:47:43.500 And then I backpedaled

01:47:44.360 Quick

01:47:44.980 I was like

01:47:45.400 Nah I can't do this

01:47:46.400 Yeah I don't know

01:47:48.080 If I like how my body looks

01:47:49.360 Sometimes if I'm with a woman

01:47:50.780 I'll walk out of the room

01:47:51.760 Backwards so they don't 0.99

01:47:52.580 See my butt 0.99

01:47:53.160 Oh yeah 0.99

01:47:53.740 Oh yeah

01:47:55.500 Backwards you go

01:47:56.580 Wow

01:47:57.180 That's a different technique

01:47:58.920 Like a crab

01:48:00.460 Like

01:48:00.880 Or

01:48:01.240 Not on all four

01:48:02.100 Not like that

01:48:02.620 No no no

01:48:03.000 Standing up backwards

01:48:04.000 Okay

01:48:04.460 If I did it like that

01:48:05.760 They would almost say

01:48:06.480 That's cute I think

01:48:07.500 But the other way

01:48:08.620 Is a little bit weird

01:48:09.460 I walk out literally

01:48:10.740 Like a freaking 0.71

01:48:11.360 Quiet Korean girl 1.00

01:48:12.720 You know

01:48:13.340 Yeah

01:48:13.840 I mean just like

01:48:14.720 A moonwalking Korean

01:48:15.860 Just

01:48:16.120 I forgot what we were 0.99

01:48:21.060 Fucking talking about 0.98

01:48:21.980 We have one more thing 1.00

01:48:22.520 We're gonna talk about

01:48:23.060 What was it Nick?

01:48:24.240 Did you want to talk about

01:48:25.020 The Taliban 0.89

01:48:25.460 Still being allowed on Twitter?

01:48:27.060 Yeah

01:48:27.200 Oh the Taliban 0.93

01:48:28.280 Yeah

01:48:29.500 Yeah I thought we got

01:48:30.920 Into the Taliban 0.94

01:48:31.520 Already

01:48:32.560 No we didn't

01:48:33.180 We kind of talked

01:48:33.780 About the plane

01:48:34.400 Not specifically

01:48:35.360 That they aren't

01:48:36.240 Kicked off Twitter

01:48:37.280 Other social medias

01:48:38.720 Taliban uses 1.00

01:48:39.940 Sophisticated social media

01:48:40.900 Practices that

01:48:41.620 Rarely violate the rules

01:48:43.180 Wow

01:48:43.760 So the Taliban 0.92

01:48:45.900 Is this right Nick?

01:48:47.680 They're allowed

01:48:48.180 To stay on Twitter

01:48:48.900 Yeah

01:48:50.300 Well you know

01:48:52.840 I'm

01:48:53.340 Not all for censorship

01:48:56.040 Yeah I support free speech

01:48:57.480 The Taliban 0.89

01:48:58.480 Did try to kill my mom

01:48:59.860 If 0.99

01:49:00.340 Or it could have been

01:49:01.540 The aliens

01:49:02.000 So you know

01:49:02.700 I'm not a big fan

01:49:03.640 Of the Taliban 0.93

01:49:04.320 Good call

01:49:04.960 So I mean 0.99

01:49:06.360 Fucking ban them 0.99

01:49:07.140 You know 1.00

01:49:07.580 Block them off Twitter

01:49:08.580 I think they deserve 0.64

01:49:10.100 To be banned

01:49:10.800 I agree

01:49:12.780 On Tuesday

01:49:15.180 I did not find

01:49:17.700 A single fact check

01:49:18.660 On any of their tweets

01:49:19.480 Or any warnings

01:49:20.160 For false or misleading content

01:49:21.260 And the part

01:49:22.680 That's wicked

01:49:23.640 About this

01:49:24.140 Is that

01:49:24.580 This is just

01:49:25.280 Twitter just saying

01:49:26.200 We will make money

01:49:28.220 Off of anything

01:49:29.340 We will literally

01:49:32.660 Let people put

01:49:33.620 Does that mean

01:49:35.120 They can put

01:49:35.480 Like beheading videos

01:49:36.480 And stuff up there?

01:49:37.500 That doesn't mean that

01:49:38.140 Does it?

01:49:38.620 No I think it said

01:49:39.660 That would be

01:49:40.780 That would violate

01:49:41.440 Their terms of service

01:49:42.380 Okay

01:49:42.800 Is Trump still

01:49:47.420 Blocked off Twitter?

01:49:48.420 Yeah

01:49:48.640 That's how this

01:49:50.020 Article

01:49:51.600 Couches it

01:49:52.320 That

01:49:52.620 Taliban 0.97

01:49:53.480 Is allowed on

01:49:54.300 Where

01:49:54.480 Well

01:49:54.960 Ex-President Trump

01:49:56.060 Is still banned

01:49:56.840 That's crazy

01:49:58.040 To me

01:49:59.420 That's crazy

01:49:59.820 I mean it's just crazy

01:50:00.500 That you could have

01:50:01.660 Just because

01:50:03.160 Or what does the Taliban

01:50:04.120 Exactly stand for?

01:50:05.820 How does the Taliban

01:50:06.540 Make money?

01:50:07.480 Just robberies?

01:50:08.460 I think views

01:50:09.520 On those beheading videos

01:50:10.820 They're getting

01:50:11.640 AdSense

01:50:12.220 And I can't even

01:50:13.560 Get AdSense 0.99

01:50:14.080 On my fucking 1.00

01:50:14.660 Barber videos 1.00

01:50:15.460 God damn 0.99

01:50:17.540 I think they sell 0.99

01:50:18.560 Opium too

01:50:19.280 Bro you gotta quit

01:50:20.180 Taking off the hair

01:50:20.800 And just take off

01:50:21.380 The whole head

01:50:22.140 You know

01:50:22.880 You're aiming

01:50:24.260 A little high

01:50:25.040 Season 3

01:50:26.040 It's all beheadings

01:50:27.880 Just only on Twitter

01:50:30.040 We're gonna have to

01:50:31.380 Switch platforms

01:50:32.380 Yeah YouTube's tough

01:50:34.480 Yeah

01:50:35.180 They were cracking down

01:50:36.740 On me for a bit

01:50:37.480 Were they

01:50:37.900 What were they upset about

01:50:38.840 Do you know?

01:50:39.360 Just

01:50:39.620 A lot of blood and gore

01:50:41.700 With the documentary

01:50:43.560 The whole thing

01:50:44.240 Got age restricted

01:50:45.000 A lot of my barber

01:50:47.200 Videos got age restricted

01:50:48.560 Just cause

01:50:49.120 Edgy jokes and stuff

01:50:50.620 You know

01:50:51.160 Once you start getting

01:50:52.580 A lot of attention on it

01:50:54.060 And they start like

01:50:54.740 Human reviewing your stuff

01:50:56.540 Then it's like

01:50:58.040 Pretty much anything

01:50:59.420 You do 0.99

01:50:59.880 They could fucking 1.00

01:51:00.600 Hit you for 1.00

01:51:01.300 You know? 1.00

01:51:01.740 Damn 0.99

01:51:01.860 And for a while 0.99

01:51:03.120 I was on their good side

01:51:03.980 Every video would go

01:51:04.980 On trending

01:51:05.380 Wow

01:51:06.040 And then after that

01:51:06.900 I think it did like

01:51:08.120 One beheading or something

01:51:09.800 And just slipped in there

01:51:11.080 And that was it

01:51:12.580 On their bad side

01:51:13.620 And they age restricted

01:51:14.280 Like my last 20 videos

01:51:16.440 So

01:51:17.360 It is what it is

01:51:18.440 They go back to selling weed

01:51:19.880 Yeah

01:51:20.620 I'd buy

01:51:22.000 I wouldn't buy some anyway

01:51:23.540 Cause I'm just trying

01:51:24.080 To get through this

01:51:24.520 Fourth step

01:51:24.880 But I would probably

01:51:25.900 As soon as I get

01:51:27.740 Through all 12 steps

01:51:28.420 I might buy some

01:51:29.080 Okay

01:51:29.540 Yeah

01:51:30.340 Maybe it'll help you

01:51:31.320 When you're not

01:51:32.680 Feeling so good

01:51:33.320 Write some jokes

01:51:34.040 If you're not feeling happy

01:51:35.020 Sometimes anything

01:51:36.260 To get out of my head

01:51:37.320 We'll disconnect

01:51:37.860 At night

01:51:38.420 Yeah

01:51:38.760 Turn off your brain

01:51:40.080 Yes

01:51:41.000 Turn off Hulu 1.00

01:51:41.680 Turn off fucking 1.00

01:51:42.600 YouTube 0.99

01:51:43.440 I got like

01:51:45.120 I got really into UFC

01:51:46.400 Like you did

01:51:47.120 Over the past year

01:51:48.120 And even on

01:51:48.940 Even on YouTube

01:51:49.960 Like all I'm recommended

01:51:51.080 Is oh

01:51:51.600 Conor McGregor said this

01:51:52.900 And they put a thumbnail

01:51:53.700 Of him

01:51:54.000 And it's just his tweet

01:51:55.380 You know

01:51:56.400 But I just get like

01:51:57.340 Roped into all those

01:51:58.500 And I'm just watching

01:51:59.300 UFC drama now

01:52:00.280 Yeah

01:52:00.600 There's some good

01:52:02.120 Dramatists out there though

01:52:03.060 I guess it's like

01:52:03.620 WWE for adults

01:52:04.980 Like if you follow

01:52:06.700 The drama 1.00

01:52:07.480 That they talk shit 1.00

01:52:08.800 On each other 1.00

01:52:09.400 Outside of the octagon

01:52:10.580 So good

01:52:11.160 And then you watch

01:52:11.760 The actual fight

01:52:12.580 That's why I hope

01:52:13.560 Darren Till is okay man

01:52:14.740 I know he just posted

01:52:16.060 The other day

01:52:16.520 But he's been kind of

01:52:17.240 On and off

01:52:17.840 Over the past year

01:52:18.900 And he's one of the best

01:52:21.360 I feel like 0.99

01:52:21.740 At talking shit 1.00

01:52:22.380 At talking shit 1.00

01:52:23.100 Huh 0.99

01:52:23.320 Yeah

01:52:23.980 Yeah

01:52:24.500 So funny dude

01:52:26.060 He just went across

01:52:26.900 Like four weight classes

01:52:28.220 Though now he's in

01:52:29.020 Middleweight 0.97

01:52:29.700 Who knows

01:52:30.960 He's like basically

01:52:31.660 He's like the

01:52:32.140 Whack-a-mole of weight

01:52:33.060 He's like weight-a-mole

01:52:33.960 Yeah

01:52:34.340 He'll like just literally

01:52:35.020 Pop up like 0.94

01:52:35.860 Strawweight

01:52:36.480 Middleweight 0.97

01:52:37.120 You know

01:52:37.520 Female flyweight

01:52:38.740 That's something

01:52:39.360 That's not easy to do

01:52:40.340 No it's not

01:52:41.440 I learned the hard way

01:52:42.280 I told you 1.00

01:52:42.600 I got my ass kicked 0.99

01:52:43.340 By that juiced up guy 1.00

01:52:44.220 On steroids

01:52:44.720 You don't go after

01:52:45.340 Those guys

01:52:46.140 That are just

01:52:46.520 Forty pounds

01:52:47.380 Heavier of muscle

01:52:48.140 If you went after him now

01:52:49.840 Would you do something different

01:52:51.460 After Watson

01:52:52.020 Do steroids too

01:52:53.500 Even the playing field

01:52:54.660 Yeah

01:52:54.920 Yeah 1.00

01:52:55.600 Fuck it 1.00

01:52:56.380 I'll get on the juiced 1.00

01:52:57.280 Toil pack on 20 pounds

01:52:58.460 Let's both go out

01:52:59.600 At same weight class

01:53:00.400 I would like to

01:53:01.240 Dude if White Claw

01:53:02.420 Came out with steroids

01:53:03.320 Yeah

01:53:04.580 That's a good brand

01:53:06.100 That's a good brand

01:53:07.460 Or Nelk 0.99

01:53:08.080 Nelk started selling steroids

01:53:10.460 Bro

01:53:11.400 Nelk boys 1.00

01:53:12.480 We just did a new drop

01:53:13.680 You gotta get it right now

01:53:14.660 Today only

01:53:15.220 Everybody buys it

01:53:17.260 Whoops too late

01:53:19.980 We sold out

01:53:20.600 Yeah too late

01:53:21.580 Get it next time

01:53:22.580 Maybe next month

01:53:23.560 This needle's empty

01:53:23.900 Yeah

01:53:24.520 Yeah

01:53:25.100 Yeah

01:53:25.400 Bro

01:53:27.320 Full send steroids 0.88

01:53:28.520 Bro

01:53:28.720 Can you even imagine

01:53:30.000 Dude

01:53:31.560 Every 0.99

01:53:32.240 Fucktard kid 1.00

01:53:33.980 With a fucking 1.00

01:53:34.820 Shitty bicycle 1.00

01:53:35.780 Would be 1.00

01:53:36.360 Yoped out of his brain 1.00

01:53:37.920 Damn 1.00

01:53:37.940 They would have to 1.00

01:53:39.220 Sell those out of 1.00

01:53:40.380 India or something 0.97

01:53:41.260 You'd have to go

01:53:42.560 Dude

01:53:42.980 If somebody

01:53:43.860 Here's what we need

01:53:44.640 Somebody to start

01:53:45.160 Marketing steroids

01:53:46.000 To Indians

01:53:46.760 Dude

01:53:47.700 How

01:53:47.920 I'd love to see

01:53:48.780 A bunch of

01:53:49.120 Jacked Indians 1.00

01:53:49.980 Oh you're right

01:53:50.440 There is no

01:53:50.880 Indian UFC fighters

01:53:52.060 Really

01:53:52.460 Does Dana

01:53:54.320 Even go out there

01:53:55.660 Maybe Dana 0.85

01:53:56.120 Needs to take a trip

01:53:56.780 Out there

01:53:57.040 Go look around

01:53:57.580 Maybe you'll find

01:53:58.160 Some talent

01:53:58.620 There's a billion

01:54:00.220 People there

01:54:00.860 I think they need

01:54:01.600 Start some pizza

01:54:02.380 Shops over there

01:54:02.960 First they need

01:54:03.400 A little bit of

01:54:03.820 New York

01:54:04.140 New Jersey

01:54:04.640 Over there

01:54:05.000 They need some

01:54:05.420 Sustenance

01:54:05.960 Yeah

01:54:06.380 I'm not a big

01:54:07.400 Fan of Indian food

01:54:08.260 I wouldn't be either

01:54:09.800 It's hard to fight

01:54:11.060 On Indian food

01:54:11.620 I think

01:54:11.920 If you've had

01:54:12.220 A bunch of

01:54:12.500 Indian food

01:54:12.980 I'm not going

01:54:13.540 Into a ring

01:54:14.040 After that

01:54:14.580 I'm a picky eater

01:54:17.220 I don't really like

01:54:17.980 Any other food 0.99

01:54:19.440 But fucking 1.00

01:54:20.160 Steaks 1.00

01:54:20.940 I just eat steaks

01:54:22.220 Three times a day 0.98

01:54:23.060 Damn really 0.99

01:54:24.060 Yeah 0.98

01:54:24.720 I'm just trying

01:54:25.360 To bulk up 0.99

01:54:26.020 Damn you're like 0.99

01:54:26.860 Jordan Peterson dude 1.00

01:54:27.740 I'm going after that guy 1.00

01:54:29.040 They kicked my ass 1.00

01:54:30.120 When I was 15 1.00

01:54:30.780 Fuck yeah 0.99

01:54:31.480 I'm trying to get 1.00

01:54:32.140 On his

01:54:32.440 On his weight class

01:54:34.120 I would fight him

01:54:34.900 I'll track him down

01:54:36.500 I'll try to track him down

01:54:37.320 Yeah

01:54:37.700 I would fight him for you

01:54:38.560 Yeah

01:54:38.920 I don't want to put

01:54:39.520 His name out here

01:54:40.320 Now

01:54:40.920 Because we have

01:54:41.580 Such die hard fans

01:54:42.580 They might go attack him

01:54:43.560 Yeah

01:54:43.940 And this is between us

01:54:44.880 You know

01:54:45.480 This is between me and him

01:54:46.720 I don't want to send 1.00

01:54:47.520 My fan base after 0.99

01:54:48.600 I'm like a fucking 1.00

01:54:49.340 Little YouTube and weasel 1.00

01:54:51.560 Nah this is a

01:54:52.400 This ain't no to-go order baby

01:54:53.480 We serving this beef

01:54:54.600 Keeping this beef

01:54:55.340 In the restaurant

01:54:55.860 We'll talk about it after

01:54:57.320 Alright we'll talk about it

01:54:58.020 We'll look up his Facebook

01:54:58.800 Or something

01:54:59.260 I'm sure he's on there still

01:55:00.700 I like it

01:55:01.920 Yeah Jeff Whittick man

01:55:05.740 You'll have to cut my hair

01:55:06.380 Sometime please

01:55:07.140 Absolutely

01:55:07.720 Would you

01:55:08.060 Yeah I would love to

01:55:08.980 That's cool man

01:55:09.540 Thank you bro

01:55:10.040 Got the new mobile barber shop

01:55:11.240 Coming along

01:55:11.840 Okay

01:55:12.340 Pull it up right here 0.79

01:55:13.460 It would do a van or something

01:55:14.500 It's an Airstream

01:55:15.800 Good

01:55:16.160 It's an old trailer

01:55:17.000 And I pull it with my old Silverado

01:55:18.940 Oh yeah

01:55:19.720 It's a janky set up

01:55:20.640 But it's

01:55:21.700 You know it gets the job done

01:55:22.920 You heard that song

01:55:24.260 Silverado for sale

01:55:25.240 No

01:55:26.200 It's pretty good

01:55:27.040 I'll look it up

01:55:28.060 It's really good

01:55:28.740 I didn't want to admit

01:55:29.200 How much I like it

01:55:29.740 But it is good

01:55:30.220 Silverado for sale

01:55:31.280 Yeah

01:55:31.720 Oh there you go

01:55:32.380 There it is

01:55:32.580 Yeah

01:55:32.860 Well look

01:55:34.080 Yeah man

01:55:34.440 Save up

01:55:34.880 Yeah

01:55:36.740 This is a real janky set up

01:55:38.140 I'm releasing my own hair products

01:55:39.380 Soon

01:55:39.540 Oh look

01:55:39.740 There's my doctor

01:55:40.480 Who's the first comment

01:55:41.980 Dr. Raymond

01:55:42.620 He's the one who did my brain scan

01:55:44.500 He gave me a bunch of vitamins

01:55:45.760 For my brain

01:55:46.360 Told me to do

01:55:47.640 Hyperbaric chamber a lot 0.99

01:55:49.140 Oh damn 0.99

01:55:49.920 They've got you in the chamber 1.00

01:55:50.820 Huh

01:55:51.080 Yeah

01:55:51.700 He did the

01:55:52.460 Like the visit

01:55:53.740 He's kind of like

01:55:54.420 A psychiatrist too

01:55:55.620 So he talked to me

01:55:56.220 About a lot of stuff

01:55:56.920 With my brain

01:55:57.580 Like what might be causing

01:55:58.440 Some depression stuff

01:55:59.500 And he did it

01:56:00.400 For a social media collaboration

01:56:01.520 But then I got hit

01:56:02.380 With a bunch of messages

01:56:03.900 Saying oh that guy's a scammer

01:56:05.520 He's showing you 0.99

01:56:06.620 A different brain scan

01:56:07.800 Somebody else's

01:56:09.160 Really

01:56:09.640 And I'm like

01:56:11.000 I guess there's no way

01:56:12.180 For me to tell

01:56:12.720 I don't have my own brain scanner

01:56:14.440 To be like

01:56:15.300 That's true

01:56:15.640 Yeah

01:56:16.480 It's great

01:56:17.040 The people that control 0.85

01:56:18.120 The freaking equipment 0.96

01:56:19.060 That's who controls it all 0.96

01:56:20.020 What if they're just

01:56:20.540 Sending out bad brain scans

01:56:21.900 Someone told me the other day

01:56:23.180 They think that people

01:56:24.220 Testing for COVID

01:56:25.180 Are putting COVID

01:56:26.180 Into people

01:56:26.800 Yeah

01:56:27.760 That makes sense

01:56:29.720 And that blew my mind

01:56:30.820 That's a whole nother

01:56:33.060 That's a whole nother episode

01:56:34.340 Yeah

01:56:34.700 How'd you get to handle Jeff

01:56:36.120 We've had Jeff and Jimmy

01:56:37.380 On our show now

01:56:38.260 Oh that was easy

01:56:39.540 I just

01:56:40.140 I

01:56:41.540 I looked up who had it

01:56:43.320 I tracked him down 0.99

01:56:44.420 And I fucking 0.98

01:56:45.260 Made him an offer 0.99

01:56:46.460 He can't refuse

01:56:47.160 You know

01:56:47.480 How much did you offer him

01:56:48.940 15 0.99

01:56:49.320 No I killed him 0.88

01:56:50.340 Oh 1.00

01:56:50.500 I killed him 1.00

01:56:51.120 That's what it means 0.99

01:56:51.880 I'm like

01:56:52.060 You never saw the godfather

01:56:52.640 Dude I'm telling you

01:56:53.980 You never saw the godfather

01:56:55.260 You know

01:56:55.900 I saw

01:56:56.800 I did see the godfather

01:56:57.660 Yeah

01:56:58.040 That's what making an offer

01:56:59.240 You can't refuse

01:56:59.880 Oh yeah

01:57:00.260 Making an offer

01:57:00.940 You can't refuse

01:57:01.860 Yeah

01:57:02.300 Yeah

01:57:03.540 No I

01:57:04.080 You actually guessed it

01:57:05.320 The first time

01:57:05.760 I gave him two grand

01:57:06.440 You did

01:57:06.940 Yeah

01:57:07.300 Yeah

01:57:08.940 That's fair

01:57:09.680 You know

01:57:10.980 Did you know that

01:57:11.660 Marlon Brando

01:57:13.680 Actually was gay

01:57:14.600 Was he really

01:57:15.620 Yeah

01:57:16.000 I believe that

01:57:18.120 Yeah

01:57:19.200 Turns out

01:57:20.360 That he moved out

01:57:21.640 To an island

01:57:22.100 And had like

01:57:23.160 I mean

01:57:24.120 I don't

01:57:24.520 I could be

01:57:25.200 Spreading misinformation now

01:57:26.960 No

01:57:27.520 Is this true

01:57:28.160 Yeah it's true

01:57:29.400 Some people even say

01:57:30.220 Richard Pryor

01:57:31.180 And Marlon Brando

01:57:32.260 Hooked up

01:57:33.180 Oh yeah

01:57:34.040 That's the rumor

01:57:34.680 There's a long

01:57:36.660 I think there's a level

01:57:37.940 Of

01:57:38.140 When I get the first

01:57:39.840 I think about it

01:57:40.380 And for that

01:57:41.280 To come out

01:57:42.460 About

01:57:42.760 Basically

01:57:44.180 The biggest

01:57:44.860 Mob boss

01:57:45.540 In movie history

01:57:46.840 You know

01:57:47.200 Like

01:57:47.420 In history

01:57:48.220 You know

01:57:48.660 Whatever

01:57:49.180 Fiction

01:57:49.620 Nonfiction

01:57:50.180 It's all blended

01:57:51.380 Together now

01:57:52.120 It's all blended

01:57:53.020 I mean

01:57:53.200 We're all 11%

01:57:54.240 Gay at least 0.91

01:57:54.980 Yeah

01:57:55.520 Yeah

01:57:56.140 Yeah

01:57:56.380 I think

01:57:56.980 Everybody's a little 0.86

01:57:57.620 Gay now 0.95

01:57:58.140 Do you think 0.96

01:57:59.820 That we are

01:58:00.520 Headed towards

01:58:01.720 A place

01:58:03.960 Where everybody

01:58:04.800 Like I often

01:58:06.800 Think with like 0.92

01:58:07.460 Race

01:58:08.260 Right

01:58:08.520 Where some of us

01:58:09.260 Are different races 0.93

01:58:09.980 Or cultures 0.98

01:58:10.560 But eventually

01:58:11.260 In 10 decades

01:58:12.500 Or 10

01:58:13.200 Times of having

01:58:14.780 Children

01:58:15.240 We're gonna be

01:58:17.040 Everything's gonna

01:58:18.720 Kind of

01:58:19.000 Everything's gonna be

01:58:19.640 Based

01:58:19.840 Like the rock

01:58:20.980 Everything's gonna be

01:58:21.460 Based

01:58:21.660 Hawaiian

01:58:22.080 Yeah

01:58:22.880 Everything's gonna be

01:58:23.460 Hawaiian

01:58:23.700 That's actually

01:58:24.240 What it's gonna be

01:58:24.960 Yeah

01:58:25.480 It's gonna be

01:58:25.900 Kind of Hawaiian

01:58:26.480 Or on a plane

01:58:27.220 To Hawaii

01:58:27.680 Kind of

01:58:28.160 Yeah

01:58:28.580 Ethnicity 0.82

01:58:29.280 But do you think

01:58:31.000 That that same

01:58:31.700 Like sexually

01:58:32.520 Do you think

01:58:33.100 We're headed there

01:58:33.880 Or do you think

01:58:34.540 It'll always be

01:58:35.440 Kind of

01:58:35.960 Predominantly

01:58:37.080 Heterosexual 0.96

01:58:37.840 With some 0.71

01:58:38.840 Like people

01:58:42.020 That are

01:58:42.540 You know

01:58:43.420 Pan

01:58:44.100 Or A 0.99

01:58:44.740 Or homo 1.00

01:58:45.900 Sexual 0.99

01:58:46.920 I think it's just

01:58:48.500 Everybody's gonna

01:58:49.160 Blend together

01:58:49.840 You do

01:58:50.620 So you think

01:58:50.980 Eventually it'll just be

01:58:51.920 Yeah

01:58:52.500 Beige

01:58:53.760 Yeah

01:58:54.300 I already feel like

01:58:55.580 That's happened

01:58:56.060 Throughout my life 0.99

01:58:56.920 And I'm only fucking 0.99

01:58:58.140 You know 0.99

01:58:59.260 I've been around

01:58:59.840 31 years

01:59:00.640 And I've seen

01:59:01.300 That happen

01:59:01.700 Yeah

01:59:02.280 I feel like

01:59:03.300 I don't know

01:59:04.660 Yeah it's definitely

01:59:05.560 Different

01:59:06.680 It's definitely

01:59:07.220 Happening fast

01:59:08.040 I just wonder

01:59:08.940 If that's

01:59:09.660 I wonder what

01:59:10.360 Nature's plan is

01:59:11.940 Cause I can see

01:59:13.500 How we shape things

01:59:14.400 How the media

01:59:14.940 Wants to like

01:59:15.500 Make everything

01:59:16.120 Very homogenous

01:59:17.180 Or

01:59:17.660 Whatever it is

01:59:19.440 But I wonder

01:59:20.660 What nature's

01:59:21.720 Plan is

01:59:22.300 Sometimes

01:59:22.840 I don't know

01:59:24.540 I don't think

01:59:25.040 It's up to nature

01:59:25.720 I think it's up

01:59:26.980 To Elon Musk

01:59:27.640 Whatever he wants

01:59:29.140 To do

01:59:29.440 You know

01:59:30.120 The guy's

01:59:31.040 Pulling down

01:59:31.560 Planets that are

01:59:32.360 Full of gold

01:59:32.960 He's gonna be

01:59:34.280 The richest man

01:59:34.880 In the world

01:59:35.320 You know

01:59:36.100 That's his whole

01:59:36.620 SpaceX thing

01:59:37.460 He's trying to get

01:59:38.200 To Mars

01:59:38.580 To colonize

01:59:39.420 He wants to

01:59:40.260 Get some diamonds

01:59:41.000 Out of some

01:59:41.480 Oh if he pulls

01:59:42.980 The first diamond

01:59:43.680 Out of Mars

01:59:44.260 Or something

01:59:44.600 Then that's

01:59:45.360 A giant diamond

01:59:46.240 That's checkmate

01:59:46.820 Yeah

01:59:47.740 The richest man

01:59:48.600 In the world

01:59:48.960 By like

01:59:50.300 Not even close

01:59:51.440 You know

01:59:52.020 When you show up

01:59:52.260 With a new

01:59:52.940 Metal

01:59:53.480 Yeah

01:59:54.080 Yo

01:59:54.960 In

01:59:55.380 You know

01:59:56.720 What I'm saying

01:59:57.220 Yeah

01:59:58.180 Maybe that's all

01:59:58.800 We're searching

01:59:59.180 Maybe you're searching

01:59:59.800 For new metal man

02:00:00.680 We gotta get up

02:00:01.140 In space

02:00:01.580 We're not gonna

02:00:02.180 Find it here

02:00:02.740 There's too many

02:00:03.600 People already

02:00:04.120 Digging around

02:00:04.660 We're down here

02:00:05.200 Cutting each other's

02:00:05.880 Hair dude 0.88

02:00:06.300 If I can

02:00:06.880 Need to be up

02:00:07.400 In space

02:00:07.860 We need to get

02:00:08.540 Up to space

02:00:09.180 Yeah

02:00:09.800 We'll do it man

02:00:10.800 My team of

02:00:11.400 20 year olds

02:00:11.880 Are working on

02:00:12.400 Getting us up there

02:00:13.740 We'll do it

02:00:14.200 Grand Theft Astro

02:00:15.520 Jeff Wittek

02:00:16.380 Thanks for coming in

02:00:17.060 And spending time

02:00:17.520 With you man

02:00:17.840 It's a pleasure

02:00:18.440 And I appreciate

02:00:20.100 Your earnestness man

02:00:21.100 And it's nice to

02:00:21.860 Meet you

02:00:22.100 I'm a fan

02:00:22.580 Oh

02:00:23.260 Vice versa

02:00:23.920 This is great

02:00:24.800 I look forward

02:00:25.540 To cutting your hair

02:00:26.040 One day

02:00:26.400 Yeah

02:00:26.760 Soon brother

02:00:27.240 Yeah

02:00:27.780 Practice on yourself

02:00:28.720 In the meantime

02:00:29.480 Maybe I'll do a little

02:00:30.560 On the sides

02:00:31.060 I don't want to do

02:00:31.620 Too much

02:00:32.220 You know

02:00:33.000 No haircuts

02:00:34.180 Until

02:00:34.760 Okay

02:00:35.280 Until I pull up the van

02:00:36.580 I'll hold out

02:00:37.100 You got it

02:00:37.620 Yeah

02:00:37.980 Okay

02:00:38.380 My man

02:00:38.980 I'll try my best

02:00:39.860 Thanks brother

02:00:40.720 Now I'm just floating

02:00:42.160 On the breeze

02:00:43.280 And I feel

02:00:44.100 I'm falling

02:00:44.900 Like these leaves

02:00:46.240 I must be

02:00:47.340 Cornerstone

02:00:49.580 Oh

02:00:52.180 But when I reach

02:00:53.380 That ground

02:00:54.140 I'll share

02:00:54.880 This peace of mind

02:00:56.280 I found

02:00:56.960 I can feel it

02:00:58.340 In my bones

02:01:00.460 But it's gonna take

02:01:03.380 A little time

02:01:06.120 For me to set

02:01:08.540 That parking brake

02:01:10.000 And let myself

02:01:11.620 Unwind

02:01:12.800 Shine that light

02:01:15.580 On me

02:01:16.640 I'll sit and tell you

02:01:21.100 My stories

02:01:22.420 Shine on me

02:01:27.420 And I will

02:01:29.900 Find a song

02:01:31.640 I will sing it

02:01:33.200 Just for you

02:01:38.540 And now I've been

02:01:40.920 Moving way too fast

02:01:42.580 On the runaway train

02:01:44.000 With a heavy load of my

02:01:45.700 Ladies and gentlemen

02:01:50.380 I'm Jonathan Kite

02:01:51.580 And welcome to Kite Club

02:01:52.900 A podcast where I'll be

02:01:54.540 Sharing thoughts on things

02:01:55.620 Like current events

02:01:56.560 Stand up stories

02:01:57.780 And seven ways

02:01:58.880 To pleasure your partner

02:02:00.100 The answer may shock you

02:02:02.000 Sometimes I'll interview

02:02:03.320 My friends

02:02:04.020 Sometimes I won't

02:02:05.340 And as always

02:02:06.880 I'll be joined by

02:02:07.680 The voices in my head

02:02:08.520 You have

02:02:09.700 Three new voice messages

02:02:11.740 A lot of people

02:02:13.160 Are talking about

02:02:14.060 Kite Club

02:02:14.720 I've been talking

02:02:15.800 About Kite Club

02:02:16.700 For so long

02:02:17.520 Longer than anybody else

02:02:19.140 So great

02:02:19.940 Hi

02:02:20.940 Sweetie

02:02:21.900 Easy deal

02:02:22.980 Anyone who doesn't

02:02:24.500 Listen to Kite Club 1.00

02:02:25.460 Is a dodgy bloody wanker 1.00

02:02:27.480 Charmaine 0.99

02:02:28.180 Hi

02:02:29.220 I'll take a quarter pounder

02:02:31.000 With cheese

02:02:31.480 And a McFlurry

02:02:32.500 Sorry sir

02:02:33.080 But our ice cream machine

02:02:33.880 Is broken

02:02:34.360 Oh

02:02:34.980 No

02:02:35.980 I think Tom Hanks

02:02:38.220 Just butt dialed me

02:02:39.320 Anyway

02:02:39.780 First rule of Kite Club

02:02:41.160 Is 0.88

02:02:41.720 Tell everyone about

02:02:42.920 Kite Club

02:02:43.440 Second rule of Kite Club

02:02:44.800 Is 0.88

02:02:45.380 Tell everyone about

02:02:46.960 Kite Club

02:02:47.620 Third rule

02:02:48.400 Like and subscribe

02:02:49.580 Wherever you listen to podcasts

02:02:51.000 Or watch us on YouTube

02:02:52.780 Yeah

02:02:53.200 And yes

02:02:54.100 Don't worry

02:02:54.680 My Brad Pitt impression

02:02:55.920 Will get better

02:02:56.720 I'll see you next time

02:02:57.720 I'll see you next time

02:02:58.720 I'll see you next time

This Past Weekend with Theo Von - August 20, 2021

E354 Jeff Wittek

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Transcript