E393 Maui Milkshake
Episode Stats
Length
1 hour and 8 minutes
Words per Minute
156.10559
Summary
We re back with a brand new episode of That s A Light by Stone Keepers featuring David Manuai! This week, we re talking about how to shake hands, and how to not feel out of place when you do it.
Transcript
00:00:00.000
We hope you're enjoying your Air Canada flight.
00:00:10.720
Fast-free Wi-Fi means I can make dinner reservations before we land.
00:00:25.260
Wi-Fi available to Airplane members on Equipped Flight.
00:01:31.280
We played it a month ago on there, right around Easter.
00:01:35.780
On that, uh, belated bunny episode, we played that there is a light.
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A light by stone keepers featuring David Manway.
00:01:45.320
Manu, Manu, Manuai, Manuai, Manuai, Manuai, something.
00:01:51.060
Um, yeah, look, hey, hey, hey, hey, it's, uh, middle of May.
00:02:05.200
You know, you could hear the bees in the distance.
00:02:14.880
You can hear just Mother Nature just trying to just, just trying to skeet all over the place.
00:02:21.160
You know, it just, it's pretty romantic, actually, if you fall asleep, put your ear by the wind before you go to bed.
00:02:32.760
They just, everything's just trying to bloom and bust and, and just go on dates and just everything.
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I mean, it is damn senior prom for Mother Nature right now, baby.
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I went on a small vacation for myself, uh, to get, just get my, just.
00:03:01.540
Just let the, just to let the sand settle inside of me a little bit.
00:03:09.820
You know, if you've never been to Maui, you got to go there.
00:03:15.140
So that was, you know, there's a lot of people holding hands and then some, sometimes everybody was holding hands so much.
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I found I would just put one of my hands out and then just hold, just hold it with the other hand.
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And so, you know, I kind of walked around like a lot of, uh, you know, you know, a lot of religious guys will do that too.
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They make that little hand, uh, hand, hand sandwich kind of out of, you know, just thank you for coming.
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You know, people do that a lot of times at funerals.
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They put, they just shake the hand and they put the other hand on.
00:03:59.020
You know, people will do that when they just double hand you.
00:04:01.560
The first time it ever happens usually is at a church that somebody, somebody will double hand you like, damn, what happened, you know, especially I remember being young and just learning to shake hands.
00:04:13.020
You didn't know exactly how to, you know, sometimes I'd put my hand in backwards and just fucking just, you know, I'd put my thumb facing down and whoever was shaking your hand didn't know what the hell to do.
00:04:25.160
You know, the guy just, sometimes he just loses, just, he'd come out the damn closet.
00:04:29.160
He didn't even know what was happening, you know, just cause if you, if you put your hand out and just the thumb is, it just blows somebody's mind in a handshake.
00:04:37.520
It's really, you can just really, somebody who's just been going through life, very organized, shaking hands.
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You hit them with that upside down handshake and they just fucking, they can't handle it.
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You know, they'll damn, you know, they'll fucking get a divorce.
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Um, and then you, when you're, when you're growing up, handshaking is such a, man, I remember when I first, somebody like, well, shake their hand.
00:05:07.460
They, you know, your mom tells you shake their hand and you don't, you know, you suddenly need to put your hand out that you don't know at first.
00:05:14.580
And then, and then one time my dad introduced me to somebody and the guy shook my hand so hard.
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And I remember thinking, all right, motherfucker, all right, boy, I'll fucking punch your little kid in the neck.
00:05:29.980
When I see him, I just remember just thinking, I'm going to, you know, I'm going to get these bitches back.
00:05:36.800
I remember that the guy, my dad introduced me to the guy and the guy just shook my, my hand so hard.
00:05:42.060
And I just remember thinking, all right, bitch, this shit ain't over.
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And I had just, I, you know, just a lot, you know, so much happens in a handshake, especially when you're learning the ropes of handshaking.
00:05:57.800
It's a crazy time for a young fella or young woman.
00:06:05.980
So then when you shake somebody's hand and they do the dub, when they, they do this regular handshake, and then they put their hand on top of your, on the back of your hand.
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And they're just running a train on your hand with their hands.
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And just the rules keep changing, you know, you're like, I thought we could only do one hand.
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This dang, you know, this guy's, you know, the Steiner brothers, every, I thought, you know, it was just a, um, a cage match.
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And he's running a damn Royal Rumbel on my hands.
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It just, uh, I remember this, just the slippery slopes of shaking hands and of learning what it was all like.
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And then I dated a gal for a while that would do a hard handshake.
00:07:02.760
And I'm like, oh, I didn't want to introduce her to people.
00:07:09.060
Just, you know, just damn, just, you know, testing their joints.
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Every time you freaking introduced her to somebody, she would just test their joints, it felt like.
00:07:32.600
I went over to, um, to Maui, Hawaii to have a vacation for myself.
00:07:44.920
And, uh, yeah, just living today, baby living and just letting the Lord just hold my ass.
00:07:54.020
Um, I want to let you know these tour dates this week, actually.
00:08:06.660
Uh, Friday, May 20th, I'll be in Lubbock, Texas.
00:08:09.960
And then, uh, May 21st, I'll be in Dallas, Texas.
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The following, uh, beginning of June 2nd, Savannah, Georgia.
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If you have friends over there, tell them to come through.
00:08:31.300
Um, then I'll be in Florida, June 23rd through the 26th.
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Go to Theovon.com slash T-O-U-R to get those tickets.
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Don't let them get you on that secondary market.
00:08:54.020
You know, those secondary tickets, you know, they might have fentanyl in them.
00:09:01.460
Um, so we just want you to get that firsthand, uh, at the, you know, uh, fair price tickets.
00:09:12.960
I went over to, we had some great shows out in Tulsa, Oklahoma.
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Uh, and man, I just want to thank everybody that came through there.
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That place had been, it had been sold out for months, they said.
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And, uh, the staff there was all excited and, um, yeah, I got into town over there.
00:09:33.940
Um, so I went and hit an AA meeting right before the show over there off of Lewis Drive over there.
00:09:46.140
And I went over there with my shady ass handshake and just, you know, that hand, it's just, if somebody teaches you wrong how to hand, you just, you know, it just is interesting how somebody, that's the first thing they teach you.
00:10:04.580
You know, it's just, uh, you know, it's just interesting.
00:10:09.840
Um, yeah, just a beautiful time over there in, um, in Tulsa and the staff, they said, you know, that that show had been sold out for months.
00:10:23.660
I met three guys named Tyler in the lobby in a row.
00:10:28.700
I went down before the show to get me a little burger or something, you know, a little while I didn't know what I wanted.
00:10:34.300
And that's the worst, the worst thing to do is wander downstairs into a casino, not sure what you want.
00:10:44.160
You could end up with a little bit of, uh, hamburger.
00:10:53.520
You could end up with, uh, gay men chasing you, men hookers.
00:10:58.460
So I think that has to be a new rule for me is, but when I leave a hotel room to have a plan in a, uh, casino, but yeah, I went down there and met three Tylers in a row.
00:11:11.200
I said, well, damn, too bad this, you know, that it's not a human slot machine where you get three Tylers and you win something.
00:11:29.140
So it was just triple Tylers, man, right out the gate over there.
00:11:32.440
And, uh, yeah, I wish I'd gotten to meet everybody that came out.
00:11:36.100
We stayed after and met a, met a, met some people that milled around in the lobby.
00:11:57.860
Um, it was during the Netflix is a joke festival and Netflix didn't do shit for us.
00:12:04.780
So I want to thank everybody that came out and supported, uh, Netflix did all the advertising for so many other acts and they didn't give us shit.
00:12:13.060
And, uh, and our crowd came out and showed love, man.
00:12:22.160
Um, and those shows, damn, just, you know, they had a dude in there, uh, who kept trying to show me his tattoo during the show.
00:12:32.520
This guy had a tattoo on his back of angel wings.
00:12:37.760
And the whole time he's trying to show me the tattoo.
00:12:40.440
And I'm just thinking, finally, I kind of see what he's saying.
00:12:52.500
But damn, dude, you know, like, you don't have to, this is the, this is in the time and place for all this, dude.
00:13:00.380
The guy kept trying, he kept like kind of giving these hand motions and pulling his shirt.
00:13:07.680
I didn't know what the guy was doing, but none of it made any sense.
00:13:11.740
And then finally, his buddy, this little guy with him who looked like he had, um, the buddy looked like somebody had smoked, had smoked him.
00:13:21.800
It looked like somebody had taken his friend and put him in a pipe and took a couple hits off him.
00:13:27.380
You know, the dude just looked a little crisp, a little crisp out.
00:13:31.900
Uh, and I think he even had like kind of burn marks, not like on his skin, but it's on his clothes.
00:13:36.600
It was like somebody had, um, tried to, you know, do like a maybe small campfire or something, like right next to him.
00:13:46.040
But anyway, that guy finally pulled up his buddy's shirt and he's pointing at, like, I don't, I don't, and that's when I realized I don't give a fuck about that.
00:13:55.480
Like, there's a lot of things I do want to care about, but seeing a grown man's angel wing tats is not, that is nowhere on my list of, uh, things that I really want to care about.
00:14:09.380
But, but yeah, thank you to everybody that came out, man, and showed love.
00:14:22.660
I didn't, there were times where I turned around and looked behind me.
00:14:26.980
I thought there was something, like there was a football game going on behind me.
00:14:41.960
So, oh, I went over to Maui and if you haven't been to Maui, then you got to do it.
00:14:53.100
You know, one of the nice things is the place shuts down early.
00:15:03.540
There ain't, every bed, you can hear like, every bed is just eaten, you know, because somebody filled that bitch up.
00:15:13.020
Every bed in the joint has got some, something in its tummy, dude.
00:15:17.800
Something human just lodged right in the middle of it.
00:15:20.300
And it just feels, uh, there's a huge relaxation to it.
00:15:29.140
Um, you know, sometimes like you run, you run into guys, uh, and it's great.
00:15:36.260
But sometimes when you're in a hotel, you're, or any place you're going to be for a long time, you could run into the guy countless times, you know, repetitionally.
00:15:45.280
And so this fell, I'm at this hotel the second day and this guy says, what's up?
00:15:50.860
He's, uh, he's, uh, he's a nice guy being real friendly.
00:15:57.700
And, um, and then finally he goes, Hey man, the conversation had kind of gotten where there wasn't much left to say, which is okay.
00:16:07.640
That's when you, everybody kind of goes their separate ways.
00:16:10.840
And he goes, Hey man, I'm going to give you, uh, I'm going to give you six guesses what my name is.
00:16:34.420
How many, how much, what names the man is, but you know, I guess there, there's a part of me that likes games, I guess.
00:16:44.400
So I said, Alex and, uh, and he goes, no, but that's close.
00:16:53.400
And he goes, I'll give you three extra guesses.
00:17:09.720
Now I have eight guesses what this guy's name is.
00:17:17.100
Um, so anyway, he goes in, you don't have to guess again right now.
00:17:29.240
I ran into this guy, uh, I mean, I ran into this guy 30 more times over the week and it was just a nightmare.
00:17:41.340
And finally, you know, I guessed like I did like two other guesses because there was, you know, one day I had already done my word or whatever.
00:17:49.660
And he fucking wandered up and he always wandered up.
00:17:52.840
I mean, he would wander up on a damn wind, you know, I mean, somebody would cough a few feet away and he'd, he'd, he'd wander right up out of their damn esophagus.
00:18:02.480
This dude wandered up, you know, he was the kind of guy that wandered up.
00:18:20.560
And at that point I knew it was time to leave, man.
00:18:39.380
Um, and you need to also, they have a place there, Mama's Fish House.
00:18:48.220
You roll up there and do you got to know, like there was no reservation.
00:18:56.320
And then, so I was up there anyway, looking for a swimming hole where I picked up a hitchhiker.
00:19:02.960
Last time I was there, I pick up a hitchhiker and, uh, cause I love hitchhikers, baby.
00:19:09.840
So you want to do a game show, pick up a hitchhiker and see what God wants for you.
00:19:41.420
I don't know when I was talking about anything, but, um, oh, I'll tell you this, man.
00:20:05.520
I'm at breakfast one morning and, and, uh, and the place I'm staying at, man, I treated
00:20:18.200
So you go down there, you know, and it's fucking, you know, I don't know who the concierge
00:20:23.120
was, but I'll tell you this, his wife can cook.
00:20:29.340
Um, and they got Hawaii, you know who it is, man.
00:20:32.420
They got a lot of beautiful, I mean, it's Asia, but it's more like, uh, it's like those
00:20:48.740
And they're also the native Americans of the Island.
00:20:57.980
They're like the, um, they're really, they're those saltwater Indians, baby.
00:21:05.020
There's those, uh, you know, those, uh, volcano.
00:21:16.940
Anybody that can do sex on the side of a volcano, bro, that is, I've done drugs and I've tried
00:21:28.560
to get erect on, uh, when I was, you know, on half an eight ball, right?
00:21:35.380
I remember one time, uh, like just, uh, I've done some tough things to try to get erect,
00:21:48.800
Oh, but anybody that's brave enough to do, do some serious fornicating on the side of
00:21:57.240
a volcano, bro, hats off to those people, son, hats off, son.
00:22:05.660
So yeah, shout out to beautiful Hawaiians, bro.
00:22:08.800
They, that right there, they should win an award or whatever.
00:22:11.460
You know, if the president don't give out that award, you know, the volcano, cause also
00:22:17.000
you're, you're doing sex on a damn, uh, it, you're on a damn gradient against lava.
00:22:25.340
It's, I mean, that's, that's, that they deserve an award.
00:22:47.900
A guy met his maker and I don't know what he was having.
00:22:50.560
I didn't get a look at his plate, but, uh, my friend had joined me.
00:22:57.840
We're sitting over there and we are, um, you know, she was doing a crossword or doing
00:23:11.800
I thought maybe it was one of those, uh, Charles and, uh, you know, Charles and Charlie's or
00:23:18.500
whatever, where they shake the guy's neck and they put the liquor in his face and they
00:23:22.080
shake your stepdad's neck or whatever until he can't even breathe or something.
00:23:25.520
And then they call it, you know, they're like, uh, Hey, here you go, fatty.
00:23:29.480
You know, they say stuff like that to him, but they put the liquor in his mouth and they
00:23:33.480
And then they, you know, put, take a picture or whatever.
00:23:36.540
And they put, sell you like a magnet or whatever.
00:23:39.720
Cause there's like a big rambunction, but then I look over and they're yelling, somebody's
00:23:50.580
But, um, but then other people realized, Oh, call nine one one.
00:23:54.740
So, cause some guys just yelling nine one one, nine one one.
00:24:01.760
I guess that's, I mean, it's definitely how it works, but it's a, just an older way of
00:24:07.140
So anyway, people started calling nine one one and then they just asked it.
00:24:11.400
Anybody be a doctor here and do, when you're sitting there as a man, you're like, damn,
00:24:22.220
Anyway, I'm like, damn, they, somebody there, they had the man on the ground.
00:24:26.940
And then, Oh, I mean, this brave guy came over and, uh, and he's suddenly the bravest
00:24:43.180
And then the rest of us are just sitting there.
00:24:58.280
You're like, damn, all the things I've learned and I haven't learned this scale.
00:25:11.920
I mean, he's just playing red Rover with the devil over there, you know, or with the Lord.
00:25:15.820
I don't know his backstory, but that guy is just, they're like, you know, send, you know,
00:25:20.180
Andy or whatever, you know, red Rover, you know, send and, and they're just, he's going
00:25:26.040
And they're like, we're losing and we're gaining and we're losing and we're gaining
00:25:39.140
And I'm like, Oh my God, am I the kind of guy that just eats when somebody's dying?
00:25:48.480
I'm like, and I remember just like, I cut into this sausage patty and I'm like, there's
00:25:58.780
There was like a group of people that had gone over to help.
00:26:01.240
And if you can't help, you got to stay out the way.
00:26:03.340
You can't be over there just, you know, lighting candles or like, you know, somebody was there
00:26:09.980
So everything, you know, all the corners were kind of covered and I said a few prayers, but
00:26:15.640
then I just started eating this sausage patty, dude.
00:26:34.340
I'm like, oh, and I had one bite and I'm like, there's no way I'm gonna have another
00:26:41.400
And then I had another bite and I'm like, oh my God, bro, just stop eating.
00:26:53.080
If there's any time where God is looking down at the earth to see what's happening.
00:26:58.420
It's when somebody's transporting through, you know, the portal between life and death
00:27:05.940
And this guy is about to fricking Andy Dufresne his way up there.
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You know, just the kindness of the local Hawaiian people, the culture.
00:30:37.200
You know, it really does make you look back and wonder if like people taking over lands
00:30:43.620
and like colonizing, just what it all, what it did to the nature of everything.
00:30:47.860
How much it disoriented that, uh, the heartbeat, the original heartbeat of nature.
00:30:57.980
And how much it all got rattled off, you know, and how much it got distorted and reverbed and
00:31:07.840
just, you know, unequalized and all of that, whatever.
00:31:13.200
I don't know all the audio terms, but it makes you wonder, you know, uh, and I'm not dis, you
00:31:23.060
know, I'm not saying nothing bad if, you know, for anybody that's, I mean, whatever happened
00:31:28.860
in the past happened, but it does when you, you know, when you're in a place like Hawaii,
00:31:34.340
dog, or Maui, you don't, it's like, you know, you're just so close to nature.
00:31:44.040
It's like, you're just fucking, it's like you're in a damn hammock and each end of the
00:31:52.640
God, you feel like a damn dinosaur could come and clean your ass with its paw.
00:32:03.740
And they got shave ice and everybody's just, you know, somebody be dying and they're just
00:32:08.840
like, Hey, surf's up, you know, just like you're dying.
00:32:19.160
And, um, and yeah, that's what was going on in, uh, in Maui.
00:32:24.400
I was grateful to be over there, uh, didn't do any shows, um, but thoroughly enjoyed myself.
00:32:33.120
And just grateful to people that came out, uh, to the shows that we did have in, uh, in
00:32:39.260
And we, we popped in Oklahoma city just for a short one over there.
00:32:43.260
Um, and then, um, the one in Los Angeles, but let's get into the news, man.
00:32:50.300
We've got some beautiful calls that came in from you guys and let's get into the news.
00:32:56.620
We got the story, uh, couple robbed of $19,000 in watches, suspect flees in a Rolls Royce.
00:33:10.980
Well, one of the issues that we deal with in Hollywood, uh, is in Hollywood, you can't
00:33:19.360
If you have a weapon, somebody makes, writes an article, Oh, this person had a weapon, you
00:33:24.160
And you're like, Oh, anybody trying to defend themselves or take care of themselves in
00:33:47.340
Everything in this city, you can't have nothing.
00:33:50.780
Everything in Hollywood, you can't have nothing.
00:34:00.980
I brought a black friend somewhere the other day.
00:34:03.140
They're like, do you have a permit for that guy?
00:34:19.960
So if the, if rich people are starting to pop off on rich people, I'll look, I'll buy a
00:34:33.200
I'm tired of poor people having to do all the fighting.
00:34:39.000
So if I, the rich versus the rich, baby, let's go.
00:34:48.300
Fired Arby's manager admits to urinating at least twice in milkshake mix.
00:34:59.660
And look, let's be, we knew this was happening.
00:35:03.240
We, there's nobody who lays their head down at night on any decent pillow and says honestly
00:35:13.540
to themselves that Arby's employees are not urinating in the beverages.
00:35:26.340
There's no, if you're honest with yourself, you laid it, laid it, close your eyes right
00:35:30.280
now and ask yourself, are Arby's employees urinating in the beverages?
00:35:38.520
And you, your heart will tell you, yeah, because that's where we are.
00:35:43.580
That's where, and that's honestly, that's where we've always been.
00:35:47.220
And the, the crazy part is this kind of goes into that moment when, when an officer's like,
00:36:01.760
You know, you left your kid in the car one day while you were at CVS.
00:36:06.880
You've had more than two beers, but that's what it is.
00:36:10.760
Like, Hey, Mr. Arby's manager, sir, how many times have you urinated in the, what was it?
00:36:22.000
How many times have you urinated in the milkshake mix, boy?
00:36:35.060
Look, I'd charge extra in half of these countries and shit.
00:36:41.680
Don't, if you get, bring them some piss from them, Guatemala or somewhere, foreign piss,
00:36:47.860
Dude, it's some of these high dollar political functions.
00:36:52.000
Somebody's sommeliering off that fricking, uh, that nut snifter dog.
00:36:57.140
Off that, that, that, that, that penis wine, baby.
00:37:03.180
So, you know, rich people, they'll pay to drink that shit.
00:37:09.400
But you piss in a jar and put it on a fancy website and they'll buy it.
00:37:20.720
First of all, how fricking good does it have to feel to piss into a, if that thing's mixing
00:37:28.180
up in like a beautiful view and you just dousing it up?
00:37:33.540
Dude, I remember throwing parties in college and I would stand by the keg.
00:37:40.340
I'd stand there a couple hundred people at the house because we did it good at LSU at
00:37:51.440
I remember I saw this one chick, Belinda, somebody shot a potato gun, right?
00:37:58.380
And she was just looking for her keys right about 70 yards away and that thing caught
00:38:11.440
She always, she fricking can only look one way when she crosses the street now, bruh.
00:38:17.460
Um, but anyway, I hope she's doing good and, um, what were we talking about, Jeremy?
00:38:35.680
I, I, at my joint at the party, we would fill cold beers up in a cup and then every now
00:38:42.020
and then we would do a cup of urine, pass it off across the party.
00:38:49.520
That's God, you know, and it's just, sometimes life gives you a lemonade.
00:38:55.160
Sometimes you get that little bit of, uh, that piss at the Arby's and you knew that you
00:39:00.920
knew, you knew when you walked in Arby's, there could be piss in something.
00:39:06.100
You knew when you walked in Arby's, something I'm eating here probably got a little bit
00:39:20.760
And one more thing about Arby's is why don't we have, they need to put birth control in
00:39:28.560
Why don't Arby's, that needs to be the next thing.
00:39:31.160
That seemed like a perfect part of the Biden administration's, uh, you know, insurance,
00:39:38.160
Let's get birth control put into the meat at Arby's.
00:39:50.020
Uh, they had something with the breast milk I saw.
00:39:54.160
Yeah, we got, uh, Utah mom selling almost 4,000 ounces of breast milk as baby formula shortage
00:40:05.560
Uh, Alyssa Chitty has three freezers full of breast milk.
00:40:14.280
That's what, I mean, I'm telling you, we are getting to a place where you can't count
00:40:23.760
There's two, they don't know any what they're too disconnected from the customer.
00:40:35.560
We got fresh from, I mean, that is just from, uh, firm to table, baby, right there.
00:40:42.900
If you, you go, people going door to door shooting each other for, uh, breast milk, titty
00:40:48.300
milk, men are trying to do, you see a lot of gay men trying to, and they don't even have
00:40:53.780
They're just trying to, uh, do ejaculate out of their nipples.
00:41:02.760
And ladies, if you got that strong hooter, baby, juice it out.
00:41:13.960
So if you don't think you could sell that high elevation, freaking B-skeet, baby, you know
00:41:20.900
If you don't think you could sell that for a decent dollar, baby, then you're wrong, honey.
00:41:29.200
If you're sitting around just doing Wordle all day and you got them freaking, uh, them
00:41:36.580
Them damn fucking leche furnaces just brewing, you know, women are always like, I want to
00:41:42.860
open up a business, but you got two businesses right there.
00:41:47.240
You got them freaking little sternum corporations, baby.
00:41:53.900
Hey, I'll buy a hot gram of breast milk off of somebody.
00:42:00.400
And especially, this is, this is basic white Utah breast milk, man.
00:42:06.480
You get into there, you get a nice urban lady out there.
00:42:09.700
She got those extra red blood cells up in that, up in the milk.
00:42:14.020
Or you get a Native American lady and she got them, you know what I'm saying?
00:42:17.340
She got the forefathers in the milk, you know what I'm saying?
00:42:19.460
You could really, there's definitely a way to, um, what's that called?
00:42:29.940
Um, there's definitely some, uh, it means like going up.
00:42:54.680
So there's way, I mean, there's definitely some upsells in there, you know, if you want
00:42:59.120
that, um, if you want that extra breast milk, you want that extra half ounce or you get
00:43:04.440
that daytime milk or you want that night batch.
00:43:07.260
Now, a lot of ladies don't realize if you slang and breast milk on the internet, um, then
00:43:14.820
you can also slang that night batch, you know, that, uh, if you want to sell that nocturnal
00:43:21.600
fricking, uh, that nocturnal nipple beverage, baby, you know what I'm talking about?
00:43:27.560
We had this kid in our neighborhood, he couldn't talk much, but he could say, titty milk.
00:43:33.160
I want some titty milk, titty milk, titty milk.
00:43:46.160
So anyway, there's definitely a big market out there for it.
00:44:00.060
If I hit a vending machine and nobody was looking, titty milk, I'd have me a little.
00:44:08.080
Gang, baby, I don't think we have any other news in that, do we?
00:44:13.960
And I'm happy to get into some of you guys' calls.
00:44:18.240
You know, uh, and I want to thank you guys that come out and support me, man, on the shows
00:44:24.480
Um, you know, we had, uh, and just have been supportive, man.
00:44:29.660
It has been a tough, I've had a tough few years and I don't mean that I'm complaining.
00:44:34.920
And, uh, you guys have been there with me the whole time.
00:44:38.460
And, um, and yeah, we just, we know, we don't give up.
00:44:43.900
So I just want to say thank you, uh, from the inside of my heart, baby.
00:44:49.440
From damn, just deep in my damn, just from the, I mean, just the real, you guys are the
00:45:03.400
Um, we'll let you know also that we have some new gang gang hoodies, uh, and tees that
00:45:13.240
If you need them, um, you can get ahold of those, uh, at theovonstore.com.
00:45:19.720
Thank you guys for supporting, uh, the podcast.
00:45:23.300
Uh, thank you for our Patreon supporters and yeah, the hotline is always, if something's
00:45:29.600
going on with you and, um, uh, the hotline is nine, eight, five, six, six, four, nine,
00:45:39.080
Uh, we got some more help now working with the podcast too.
00:45:43.060
So excited to, uh, see how that works out and, um, just help get our.
00:45:49.720
Just, I feel like get the wheels back going and keep things going well.
00:45:53.800
Um, you know, we got an important group here of, uh, humans and, uh, we got to take care
00:46:02.180
of, uh, we got to take care of as much as we can.
00:46:05.660
So trying to lean into that more and, uh, just grateful for you guys.
00:46:14.020
As always, the hotline is nine, eight, five, six, six, four, nine, five, zero, three.
00:46:24.640
Hey, Theo, got yourself a little Covington single mama drama going on.
00:46:30.100
I can't believe you got the nine, eight, five, my nine, eight, five touching your nine,
00:46:34.740
Well, anyway, so it's mother's day morning and I'm just wondering what has a single mama
00:46:49.440
I mean, for me personally, I feel like if you got a single mom coming for you, you know,
00:46:54.580
and like putting the heat on you, it's like you already got half the equation figured out.
00:47:00.060
Like, you know, she makes cute kids, you know, she cooks, you know, she's responsible, you
00:47:08.900
You know, it's like, what's, what's the big, what's the big question here?
00:47:14.100
Yeah, look, I mean, I think, well, let me hear more.
00:47:20.420
So you're trying to get a little action and you're from down there in Covington, Louisiana,
00:47:24.120
and I appreciate the beautiful place there and I was conceived somewhere over there near
00:47:28.020
the Chifuncta River over there and a lot of snakes around there and a lot of mosquitoes.
00:47:40.620
Definitely down there in the bottom of the rabies belt.
00:47:46.620
Why is everybody so, you know, terrified of single moms?
00:47:51.760
Maybe, it could, it could, it could just be me.
00:47:56.320
But there was somebody that I got a little involved with and he told me that he was this
00:48:03.060
I was like, oh, I know that guy from Covington.
00:48:04.900
I don't know you, but I know that you're from Covington.
00:48:09.380
Anyway, I was like, well, shit, I'm going to have to call this motherfucker and find out
00:48:16.100
Because, I mean, they're going out on the street saying, yeah, Theo Vaughn, Theo Vaughn,
00:48:26.560
It was just me and the magic wand this morning, man.
00:48:33.900
Well, also, if you're giving your body away to that magic wand all the time, then, you
00:48:40.100
A lot of men can sense sometimes if that garden has been hand dug or if somebody's been using
00:48:54.160
Now, that's just, I'm just gesticulating or I'm just speaking.
00:48:59.300
But now, look, if you met a guy, he said he's a Theo Vaughn fan, he's texting you and stuff,
00:49:16.300
We front it up, but we don't back it up a lot of times.
00:49:20.100
Look, he probably jerked off on the way over there, if I'm real honest with you, dude.
00:49:27.320
I was in love one time with this girl, and the problem was it was 17 miles to get to her
00:49:33.460
place, and this was out near Covington, and if you went up north of Covington, and 17 miles
00:49:39.800
when you're all horned out, you know, when you're really young and just full of just bust,
00:49:46.260
You're just made out of, damn, just God's dynamite, baby.
00:49:48.980
You know what I'm talking about, semen, and when you are just, just your nuts are just
00:49:59.940
I mean, you can't drive 17 miles without pulling over and relieving yourself somewhere near a
00:50:09.100
You know, if you want to bet $40 that I haven't ejected on the back of a damn mile marker, then
00:50:26.680
The guy is so nervous he can't even handle all, you know.
00:50:29.940
It's hard to drive when your body's full of the devil's fever.
00:50:35.620
It's hard to drive that sickness across town without pulling over to relieve it.
00:50:39.320
So, but yeah, we appreciate the call there, lady, and we hope somebody comes over and gets
00:50:45.320
that throbbing and really just robs that throbbing right out of your crotch for you.
00:50:49.900
And yeah, we'll get back to doing some stuff for some single moms and stuff soon or single
00:50:57.820
We've had some callers talk about that and we're going to get back into some of that.
00:51:02.620
You know, it can be hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel.
00:51:06.000
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00:51:08.760
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00:54:16.280
I'm going back home to good old fucking Palmdale, California.
00:54:21.680
I did a comedy show up there one time and almost got abused, actually, in a parking lot up there.
00:54:34.240
I feel like I failed a lot in my Army career and the career that I've had a chance in before
00:54:42.480
I was supposed to be a part of, you know, the music industry, all this shit, and I pissed
00:54:47.060
it all away because of, you know, bad habits and drugs and thinking I was Mr. fucking know-it-all.
00:54:57.460
I'm kind of asking, like, what do you do to make yourself feel like not like a failure,
00:55:04.860
Like, I'm just struggling, man, because everywhere I turn, I feel like I fuck it up.
00:55:21.560
I want to let you know right off the bat, you have...
00:55:23.980
You know, you sound like a confident young man.
00:55:26.500
You sound like you got a good voice on your strong throat.
00:55:33.600
I just want to remind you, you're calling because you care about yourself.
00:55:38.340
So, those are all really cool things you're doing for yourself, man.
00:55:45.820
Well, for myself, you know, sometimes my own perception, I can't rely on it.
00:55:51.840
My perception doesn't remember the wins that I do.
00:55:55.300
My perception chooses to not make me the hero sometimes.
00:56:04.420
It chooses to not give me the benefit of the doubt.
00:56:09.820
You know, sometimes I treat myself in ways that I would never treat somebody else.
00:56:20.740
And ask them, you know, what do you think is going on here?
00:56:34.800
And if I trust those people and take their word and I believe them, believe that they care about me,
00:56:47.380
As much of a bummer as it is to say, my own perception is not the best place for me to get a judgment of myself.
00:56:59.620
I think we live in a time and an environment where we don't know the effects of seeing so much of ourselves all the time
00:57:10.120
and of how much of we are getting our perception from the outside instead of the inside, where it used to come from,
00:57:22.840
And as far as being a failure, man, I'll tell you what, a failure is somebody that doesn't try.
00:57:34.240
I know I mentioned that, but a failure isn't somebody that's trying to figure out what's going on with themselves.
00:57:39.820
You know, I feel like a failure all the time, man.
00:58:08.000
It's not safe for me to really even listen to that voice inside of me.
00:58:30.640
But now, if we don't learn from those things, then that's where we start to see patterns where it's like, man.
00:58:45.640
You know, I'll piss in my own milkshake a lot of times.
00:58:49.780
And I'll sit there and swig on it and pretend I didn't, man.
00:58:52.580
But after a while, I got to realize that some of this urine taste is because of me.
00:58:59.700
So, you know, you might be making some missteps here or there, but you also might just be making some steps.
00:59:12.700
A step is always positive, but it's not always forward.
00:59:24.460
And failures don't try and you're learning things.
00:59:26.360
You're going to take these pieces of what you've learned.
00:59:28.820
You might take a piece of the military and a piece of the music.
00:59:32.560
You might build a machine gun that shoots songs at people.
00:59:39.860
You know, you may hit somebody with a damn first class.
00:59:44.880
You might damn just, you know, do a drive-by at a, you know, somewhere.
00:59:53.100
And next thing you know, everybody's singing Aerosmith.
01:00:00.760
You just don't know what the pieces that you are doing, what those are going to be used for.
01:00:12.260
And I think you're training for whatever the best you is going to be.
01:00:39.520
And for myself, you know, I get back into 12-step.
01:00:42.880
You know, I've recently really leaned back into my recovery program.
01:00:46.680
And there's even little moments during this podcast where I feel more like myself than I have in years.
01:00:58.800
I'm putting things in place for me that I know are going to help me have a better future, that are going to help me take care of myself.
01:01:11.780
You know, the craziest thing is sometimes I don't even want to take care of myself.
01:01:14.600
There's a part of me that doesn't even want to take care of me.
01:01:22.500
Because I think some of that part of me is just like, oh, this was somebody else's job a long time ago and they never did it.
01:01:47.920
You know how many times I sit around regretting that I didn't even try?
01:01:54.380
Fuck, just put on some high boots and listen to two episodes of Jocko, bro.
01:01:58.900
You're not in the military, but you fucking, you'll scale your neighbor's fence and attack that bastard at a barbecue.
01:02:07.700
But thank you guys for being a part of my life.
01:02:14.920
What are some of those that we were looking at?
01:02:17.640
If you know someone who is a unique personality that does coronering, somebody that does coronering, dealing with the death right there.
01:02:28.720
That last little guy, that fellow that tickles you at the finish line, if you know somebody that does that and has a unique personality.
01:02:37.640
And, yeah, if there's a retired homicide detective, we'd like to speak with one.
01:02:43.740
Somebody that's Amish, done full Amish or part.
01:02:52.520
And we're also looking for somebody that has somebody who has been a longtime employee, a 7-Eleven employee we're looking for in a unique area.
01:03:09.260
We want somebody that's really been through the shit.
01:03:11.220
And those people can e-mail in, the producer e-mail, what is it?
01:03:19.640
tpwproducer at gmail, if you have somebody to recommend for those things.
01:03:27.560
What's the best way for them to send something?
01:03:30.860
I would put something in the title line that stands out, maybe the name of your job.
01:03:36.720
And then just put location, contact, years of experience, and anything else that you might want to add.
01:03:47.440
And if you're recommending someone, you could also get a video of them or something and send it in there to the e-mail.
01:04:01.000
And this is There is a Light by the Stone Keepers.
01:04:10.360
If you haven't checked out the Trauma Restoration Man, go get an inkling of him.
01:04:18.160
If you know another good Trauma Restoration Man who's really been through some unique things, you might be able to submit them as well.
01:04:27.020
We've got Tim Dillon coming up soon and looking forward to a lot of great guests.
01:04:46.500
Y'all, keep my stepdad in your prayers this week.
01:05:40.000
This is There is a Light by Stonekeepers and David Manuel.
01:07:19.300
Ladies and gentlemen, I'm Jonathan Kite, and welcome to Kite Club, a podcast where I'll be sharing thoughts on things like current events, stand-up stories, and seven ways to pleasure your partner.
01:07:36.660
And as always, I'll be joined by the voices in my head.
01:07:54.100
Anyone who doesn't listen to Kite Club is a dodgy bloody wanker.
01:08:00.060
I'll take a quarter pounder with cheese and a McFlurry.
01:08:03.160
Sorry, sir, but our ice cream machine is broken.
01:08:09.960
Anyway, first rule of Kite Club is, tell everyone about Kite Club.
01:08:14.120
Second rule of Kite Club is, tell everyone about Kite Club.
01:08:18.360
Third rule, like and subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts, or watch us on YouTube, yeah?
01:08:23.980
And yes, don't worry, my Brad Pitt impression will get better.