This Past Weekend with Theo Von

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00:00:30.000 All right. Good day, baby.

00:00:35.360 Welcome back or welcome forward.

00:00:39.360 I don't know where you are, but I'm happy to be here.

00:00:44.700 It's we got a fire episode today.

00:00:49.160 We got a lot of calls have come in.

00:00:50.940 We haven't done a solo episode in a while, you know,

00:00:54.320 so it's about time, I feel like.

00:00:56.540 And just a lot of just beautiful information and intel to get into and just I mean,

00:01:05.620 it's just a damn little Christmas.

00:01:07.080 I feel like in September today, we're back together.

00:01:11.160 We got Dalton is going to be calling in.

00:01:13.000 You remember Dalton, that beautiful little rail monkey.

00:01:15.900 He got hit by that train a while back and he got trained out, baby.

00:01:21.360 And we're grateful.

00:01:23.460 He's going to call him.

00:01:24.760 We're going to have him on the line and talk to a real human miracle

00:01:28.260 and see what that's like to just get that close, baby.

00:01:32.980 I mean, just get on the damn fingertips of the Lord.

00:01:36.900 We're going to find out.

00:01:38.940 I'm grateful to be here with you guys.

00:01:41.300 And I mean that.

00:01:43.080 And let's get into it.

00:01:46.200 I'm going to come up.

00:01:57.740 Yeah.

00:01:59.400 Feels real good after I've been so blue.

00:02:03.680 He's on the camera.

00:02:06.480 I'm on the camera.

00:02:10.240 It feels so good to have a brand new view.

00:02:13.280 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:02:15.920 Feels real good after I've been so blue.

00:02:17.640 Well, I just broke up with my baby.

00:02:21.660 Now I can finally get the love on you.

00:02:25.080 Mm, mm, mm, mm, mm.

00:02:26.260 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:02:26.980 Come up.

00:02:29.060 Well, I just moved up to Lurkey Street when the mayor came and said to me,

00:02:34.960 You're on the camera.

00:02:37.340 You're on the camera.

00:02:40.160 And it's plain to see between you and me.

00:02:43.280 We got so much lovin' and chemistry.

00:02:46.240 It's gonna come up.

00:02:48.740 It's gonna come up.

00:02:51.520 That right there, baby.

00:02:52.800 If you like that little, that warmer.

00:02:55.500 If you like to just set your damn ear kettles on that warmer, baby.

00:02:58.820 That's Eddie.

00:02:59.500 Nine volt.

00:03:01.220 On the come up.

00:03:02.880 And that's what I got to remind myself.

00:03:08.040 Because there's two ways to go, baby.

00:03:11.620 There's two ways to go, and I got to remind myself.

00:03:15.840 I'm on the come up.

00:03:17.000 And so are you.

00:03:19.640 Happy September.

00:03:21.500 As we migrate into the future, we are just, I mean, damn, we're just like a worm.

00:03:27.640 Just eat, just, you know, worms just eat the dirt.

00:03:32.280 Did you know that?

00:03:33.180 A lot of people are like, well, how does the dirt get from the front of the worm to the back of the worm?

00:03:37.660 The worm eats the dirt and duties the dirt through the back.

00:03:44.740 And that's what we're doing, baby.

00:03:47.120 We're those fuckin' time worms, baby.

00:03:49.380 We're just, we're just cruisin', baby.

00:03:54.960 We're cruisin', cruisin' through time together out here.

00:04:02.360 And it's happening fast, man.

00:04:04.500 It ain't happening fast.

00:04:05.620 Hell, you put your ear up to the, you put your ear up to the future.

00:04:12.600 You could hear the, you know, you put your ear up to the wind.

00:04:15.780 You could hear the damn trick-or-treaters getting ready.

00:04:19.420 You could hear somebody, you know, dusting off a damn Dracula mask.

00:04:24.240 You could hear somebody whipping up a pot of fake blood, baby.

00:04:27.400 People are getting ready.

00:04:32.180 It's happening, man.

00:04:33.080 It's autumn, you know.

00:04:34.980 The tree's about to get naked, dog.

00:04:37.080 That's, that's pretty crazy when you think about it.

00:04:40.960 All summer and all spring, the trees are like, oh, I'm wearing this.

00:04:45.060 I'm wearing this.

00:04:46.580 And then, bam, boy.

00:04:48.520 All them bitches out there in the damn wood orgy.

00:04:52.360 Everything's out there, man.

00:04:53.940 All these birds thought they're hiding.

00:04:56.600 Suddenly, you see them bitches.

00:04:57.880 They're like, oh, fuck.

00:05:00.020 We better fly to Florida.

00:05:03.120 It's that time, baby.

00:05:04.960 It's that time.

00:05:05.800 You know, I really, I do enjoy this time of year.

00:05:07.920 I enjoy when you go from that.

00:05:09.520 There's that week where it's like still hot and then, bam.

00:05:12.760 Now, surprise, you wake up one morning and you feel winter just, you know, because autumn is just winter's little fucking puppy.

00:05:25.100 That's all it is.

00:05:27.160 That's just winter taking a damn little dog for a walk.

00:05:30.820 That's all autumn is.

00:05:33.380 Autumn, autumn lasts a half hour in some places.

00:05:38.140 You go up to Maine.

00:05:39.700 You go up to damn, uh, Antarctica, what is it?

00:05:46.400 Antarctica.

00:05:48.120 No.

00:05:50.960 What's the top of the country called to the whole globe?

00:05:58.000 That's Antarctica, baby.

00:05:59.360 Antarctica.

00:06:00.760 you go to antarctica baby that's fall lasts about nine minutes up in that bastard that's a

00:06:06.560 you know damn you can't even finish your coffee son and winter's there boy that thing will eat

00:06:12.200 your ass bro that thing will eat your ass with nine knuckles baby um what's happening a lot's

00:06:20.500 been going on uh we haven't done a solo episode in a while um we're out here in the central east

00:06:28.680 uh we have uh we've had an exciting run of guests recently we just had um

00:06:38.000 uh tony canaan on and he is a indie car driver and he's from brazil and uh got to go riding out with

00:06:47.700 mario andretti he took me for a scoot out in a in one of his damn little bus buggies baby we were

00:06:54.760 out there we hit about i think 200 something miles an hour i mean i could fucking i could taste the

00:07:03.100 the enamel in the back of my throat that i'm from my own teeth bro that shit really that shit will

00:07:08.900 clear your sinuses bro high speed um what else we got to we went down joe rogan came on the podcast

00:07:17.140 if you didn't hear that episode that was pretty cool that was really pretty cool man he uh he had

00:07:23.000 texted me and and invited me to go on his show and i was like yeah thanks i'd love to come and then

00:07:31.040 i was like well i know i got a space on mine that week i said and i was kind of nervous to text but i

00:07:35.980 was like uh maybe you you should we'd love to have you on ours and um and so that was exciting

00:07:42.620 uh got to go and do that bobby lee came on that beautiful little unagi bro that little uh

00:07:54.460 that little vietnam survivor you know and sometimes boy i fucking just

00:08:01.560 that little ponzu little muppet sometimes i just want man i'll take that dude i'll drop him off at

00:08:09.320 every damn vfw in america and let some old boys in there finish up on him you know what i'm talking

00:08:14.940 about iwo jima daddy praise god brother um what else has been happening with me

00:08:24.380 uh oh we got to shoot shoot a film we shot a a movie or a film film movie film movie

00:08:35.100 uh we shot we shot that that was interesting you know at first i didn't really want to do it um

00:08:44.300 because it's a lot of time it's just a lot of time and i don't like giving up my time honestly

00:08:54.720 it's a pretty selfish way to be it's nice so sometimes you have to do it

00:09:01.360 but i don't like uh sometimes i i just want to keep i kind of you know i want to keep my time to

00:09:08.240 myself you know i'll keep my time all in like a little you know i'm that little second santa i got

00:09:15.880 all my seconds in a bag on my back baby and i might you know you know take that satchel off and get a

00:09:22.880 minute out to somebody give seven eight minutes to a little dime a little dame a little beauty over

00:09:29.260 there maybe give you know four or five minutes to your boy over there but otherwise i like to keep

00:09:36.260 my time to myself man so for me that was a new experience just saying okay i don't know what

00:09:42.860 this is going to be like i'm going to commit to doing it uh and so and i was glad that i did man we

00:09:50.300 we just had a nice time um i got to do like this kind of like not fighting scene but it was like

00:09:57.900 this kind of like like wrestling kind of scene with johnny knoxville and uh and that was you know

00:10:06.580 i thought it would be all i'm thinking like all right how do i look like angry but i'm i'm

00:10:11.960 fighting or i'm you know you know do i make like a face and i'm just thinking of all this like

00:10:18.180 what will i do you know will i you know do i have to be real angry do i need to you know call

00:10:24.720 somebody and you know call them a bitch or something first or will i just feel angry like

00:10:29.800 how will i make it all work and we got there and it just everything rolled out pretty cool

00:10:35.920 you know i didn't i didn't uh i didn't overanalyze it too much just did it and bobby lee was there so

00:10:47.920 that made it a lot of fun just getting to be around him every day because he's um newly single

00:10:54.340 you know we saw he him and his lady you know they went their separate ways and so he's you know

00:11:02.300 i mean he's most of the day he's on the just hunting leg on the uh phone and internet i mean damn

00:11:13.000 that dude he had people he he had put some calling out on his social media on his podcast for

00:11:20.420 you know i guess women to send him pictures of tits and you know cooter or whatever booty booty

00:11:27.980 cooter all of it i don't even know um and damn men were sending him stuff and so he didn't know

00:11:34.740 until each time he click on the picture and sometimes it's a damn you know that you know

00:11:38.800 it'd just be one long tit you know with some nuts on it like damn bro that's a damn g cup that thing

00:11:46.800 that thing's a that's a unique looking tit because he was getting sent everything um but that was a

00:11:55.000 nice experience i'm glad that i did it um and what else man we went oh i went and visited my brother

00:12:03.480 out there in utah and it was in southern utah right by mount zion park and it is i mean it's

00:12:13.560 it is beautiful man it's like mother nature's um you know uh

00:12:21.320 whatever it's called strip club i mean if she got her finest everything it just every mount every

00:12:29.700 mountain hill every little thing it's just damn it's fine as hell bro you know you just want to

00:12:37.940 suck your own nuts bro it's just it's just that kind of place mount zion if you get a chance to go

00:12:43.000 there um and my brother had moved out there he lives in springville or springdale right outside

00:12:51.580 of the park or rockville and he'd um we had some fresh raccoon he shot a couple uh coons out there

00:12:59.180 and so we had uh some fresh raccoon squirrel dove and i'd eaten dove before

00:13:07.500 um you know when i was young i had a couple brothers that live by the apartments and they

00:13:13.680 grilled up a couple doves one time for mother's day and i had some of that with them

00:13:20.320 what else uh what else did we do yeah that's just kind of what's been going on i'll just thank you

00:13:30.160 guys for staying supportive of the cast and keeping um and keeping things going um i still got my sober

00:13:37.420 days going right now i have let me see feeling pretty good look on my little app i have 156 days

00:13:48.220 so that's been nice uh to just you know feel a part of something um

00:13:56.240 yeah and it's been interesting man and going to those meetings and stuff you know uh

00:14:03.860 and just hearing other people talk honestly

00:14:08.300 you know sometimes

00:14:11.680 when other people speak real real honestly about themselves about what's going on with them

00:14:21.300 it allows me to think honestly about what's going on with me it's like sometimes i can't really

00:14:29.200 it's hard for me to get a clear perception of myself um or to think really like real clearly

00:14:38.000 unless there's but sometimes in the recovery meetings some if somebody's sharing real honestly

00:14:43.680 about what's going on with them then i can i don't know my brain just feels or my emotions just feel

00:14:51.660 safe to like give me like a real insight into what's going on with me so a lot of times real nice to go to

00:14:59.080 those meetings and just listen you know and just hear and it's funny because sometimes people will put

00:15:05.240 into words what i could i can never it's like i'll have little pieces of of what i'm trying to feel

00:15:11.920 but i can't get the mosaic right you know i can't get the i can't get it to really jangle up

00:15:19.900 and then somebody else will they'll say it and they'll have just i mean they put all my pieces

00:15:25.600 together it's like oh man thank you so much i've just had these pieces you know

00:15:30.980 um so that's one thing that i really love about the meetings um what else i want you guys to hit

00:15:39.060 the hotline and just i want to know who's listening to this show um just tell me what you do it doesn't

00:15:44.520 have to be really long you know um this is ricky and i work at a uh you know i work at a build a bear

00:15:53.420 you know i'm a associate or you know i'm a uh fur handler whatever it is do it you know and just

00:16:00.740 hit the hotline leave that we just i'd love to know who's um who's listening um i feel nervous i

00:16:08.480 haven't done this kind of like a solo episode in a while so i don't know why i feel nervous about it

00:16:15.580 but uh that's okay it also could be excitement sometimes nerve excitement like hot like it's

00:16:24.760 we think it's nerves but it's just like it's just excitement you know i think we get we

00:16:32.540 immediately sometimes or i immediately sometimes we'll say i'm it's anxiety but fuck i might just

00:16:37.560 be a little psyched up about it you know it's been a while it's been a while since i've gotten to sit

00:16:43.180 here and uh and be in this seat and and um and be a part of this program so i'm grateful for that

00:16:51.540 all right let's get into a little bit of news here we got some news that has come in um

00:17:00.120 i thought this was pretty fascinating florida governor defends migrant flights to martha's vineyard

00:17:07.040 suggests more to come so here's what happened is uh desantis who is a governor in florida

00:17:15.620 and i always think it's interesting how like if somebody there's a problem somewhere people don't

00:17:21.340 know about it elsewhere but they'll have an idea about it they'll be like oh well this is what they

00:17:26.740 should do this is what they should do but you until it's right there with you then it then suddenly

00:17:32.660 it's you get a real concept of what the issues are so that's why i think this is pretty fascinating i

00:17:40.060 mean it's definitely a little bit get a little bit gangster to be using humans and shifting them

00:17:44.520 around um but it's interesting now that it's suddenly a martha's vineyard you just imagine just you

00:17:54.280 know 50 low-key just loked out fucking uh uh visitors just hanging out that's the part to me

00:18:03.220 that see because i love anything that bothers fucking rich people i love that shit if you could

00:18:08.320 bother the rich man if you could fucking tickle the rich with dirty fingernails bitch i love that shit

00:18:14.100 so i think anytime you can drop off a couple of essays um up in martha's vineyard baby let's do it

00:18:22.060 that's what i'm saying you know you got ms 13 suddenly you got mv 13 maybe you got martha's

00:18:28.820 vineyard 13 baby you know that's when shit's gonna get weird so yeah i just because then people get to

00:18:38.160 see what what issues are like um we had a border patrol agent on here at one point i remember

00:18:44.180 and he was in charge of the arizona border uh for a long time i can't remember how long maybe 17 years

00:18:54.180 and he was saying one of the biggest problems on the border was that people were coming over good

00:18:58.800 people and bad people were coming over and they weren't prosecuted like even if they arrested the

00:19:05.720 people like two weeks later they were coming right back because there was no like legislation happening

00:19:11.860 where they were actually like the executive branch wasn't prosecuting them and you don't until you

00:19:17.040 talk to somebody who's from there you don't really have a good idea of what's going on um so that's

00:19:23.100 why i like this i wish there was like buses of different problems from different areas that were

00:19:29.120 just kind of cruising around the country and they drop somebody else's problem off in your area for a

00:19:34.540 while and then they take your problems and drop them off of an air then they take um you know like in

00:19:41.380 maybe they got beached whales or something issue and then they drop them bitches off in idaho and

00:19:46.920 they're like damn bro you know and i just think it would be interesting if different buses were just

00:19:53.320 just like oh shit here come this fucking trouble bus and you see whose problem it is today you know like

00:19:59.960 damn they got uh you know um like women aren't shaving under their arms in oregon or whatever or in like

00:20:10.380 man you know somewhere and then them bitches get out you're like dang bro i didn't know it was like

00:20:16.840 that so i think it would be interesting if there was a whole system of this going on so that's something

00:20:23.360 that i think i would like to see in the future is just like a whole kind of uh different issues from

00:20:28.920 different areas kind of cruising around that way everybody could get a little bit of a taste

00:20:32.680 and see because then when you vote on a national level and you have an idea of your whole country

00:20:38.780 you get like a real idea of what real of what people's issues are

00:20:47.540 you know and for me a lot of that stems people talk about racism all the time and um

00:20:54.520 and they're like what you know i'll hear people like in california talk about like the south uh

00:21:02.520 but they they they're not they didn't they didn't grow up in the south they don't understand some

00:21:06.740 of the intricacies and like the boots on the ground um every day uh

00:21:13.400 existence of living in a place that's had a lot of racism

00:21:18.660 um or black and white racism maybe and so i think sometimes that's crazy to me it's like well

00:21:27.100 but you don't know you don't live you don't have an understanding you know you may have like a vision

00:21:31.940 of it and information but until you get that understanding so i like that man maybe it says

00:21:38.380 some understanding buses that's not it it's not like a problem bus it's like okay here comes some

00:21:43.300 understanding buses we're about to understand this shit you know and then it drops off and it's

00:21:49.000 like a surprise you're like oh fuck man uh so i don't know i think that that could be pretty

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00:24:19.140 ship station make ship happen a little more news here um the uh female orgasm that gasm baby

00:24:30.440 that uh that betty bust you know what i'm talking about um says female emission at orgasm

00:24:39.700 you know these are talking about women this uh those gunners baby you know them ejaculate or some women

00:24:47.280 they'll damn you know i'm saying they could really uh they really you know they got that that freaking uh

00:24:56.400 they got that that cooter gleek you know what i'm talking about these women are squirters they call

00:25:02.940 them gunners i don't like using that kind of language but they're real gunners baby you know what

00:25:06.920 i'm saying they'll damn uh they got that bidet just built into their but you know but dussey you

00:25:14.380 know what i'm talking about they just um you know the damn they could wash off the back of a moth

00:25:21.260 at probably fucking eight feet but the female emission at orgasm uh is confirmed in a new study

00:25:29.520 that uh the fluid that is released is from the bladder there's long been a lot of

00:25:36.640 chatter over the years um that it was you know female you know they had like a special

00:25:42.320 you know you know semen pocket in them or something i don't know but uh or that it was

00:25:49.620 tears like a lot of women you know have a lot of tears built up in them and then they just gun out

00:25:54.040 all these tears at you but a lot of us knew that it was urine i mean it was urine and so there's a

00:26:02.440 new study that was done if you haven't heard about this and this is uh the international journal of

00:26:09.140 urology um it says five women two in their 30s two in their 40s and one in their 50s dang baby

00:26:18.600 dang grandma got that super soca they participated in this study all women were able to uh squirt they

00:26:31.180 was these gunners and three of them gunned out uh with sexual stimulation and two of them with

00:26:40.340 penetrative sexual stimulation so one of them was just kind of reading the braille or two of them

00:26:45.740 were just reading the braille and the other one was and the other three were using the pencil

00:26:50.380 um and what they did was they injected the women with a blue dye into their bladders

00:26:56.560 so they they could tell what what was what oh they drained them first it says

00:27:01.320 um a catheter was inserted before sexual stimulation and the bladder was empty

00:27:07.120 so they drained these babes and then a mixture of indigo and saline was injected into the bladder

00:27:15.400 um

00:27:17.520 sexual stimulation was provided

00:27:21.060 and it was videotaped and verified some perv out there running this deal

00:27:25.960 and uh the secretions were collected in sterile cups

00:27:30.700 and it was found the main component of uh squirt fluid

00:27:36.060 is urine urine so there you go we knew it was uh piss i say piss

00:27:43.560 or pp but i say piss also mostly

00:27:46.220 uh we knew it was piss and it is if you didn't think it was piss i think you're a real creep you

00:27:53.480 you knew it was piss it was p so anyway um

00:27:58.640 yeah that's what women have been doing they've been pissing

00:28:02.940 uh secret that's really a secret it's a tops you know it's a real it's that backup bladder though damn

00:28:10.800 when you got that that thing really somebody can water a plant you know or just dampen a

00:28:16.220 you know dampen a damn uh

00:28:19.260 i knew this one gal she could dampen probably an eighth of a loaf of pepperage farm bro this bitch really had that

00:28:25.500 she had that baby hose backed up in her

00:28:29.540 all right so that's a little bit of news

00:28:33.100 um what else

00:28:35.420 i want to let you know that um

00:28:38.400 october 4th through 7th

00:28:40.200 coming over there to lexington kentucky

00:28:42.780 over there they got beautiful broads and horses

00:28:46.220 and women

00:28:47.200 um

00:28:49.100 october 11th wichita kansas

00:28:51.920 uh i believe that sold out

00:28:54.200 they're almost gone for the second show there

00:28:56.020 october 13th and 14th omaha and denver

00:28:58.620 those are sold out

00:29:00.120 we will add some more dates for those

00:29:01.800 but it won't be until the spring

00:29:03.420 november 3rd through 6th

00:29:06.120 in san diego

00:29:07.620 at the balboa theater

00:29:09.360 um

00:29:10.340 i think the fifth show is up now

00:29:11.960 we sold out four shows

00:29:12.940 thank you guys so much

00:29:14.020 uh

00:29:15.240 it's just

00:29:15.880 man i'm really excited

00:29:17.260 and it's gonna be

00:29:18.460 it's gonna be great

00:29:19.540 i'm excited to be back up there

00:29:21.200 and

00:29:21.380 and get out and see you guys

00:29:22.880 all those available

00:29:23.600 theovon.com

00:29:25.060 slash t-o-u-r

00:29:27.040 a new story came out

00:29:29.200 about the 25 most dangerous jobs

00:29:33.260 based on data from the bureau

00:29:35.600 bureau

00:29:36.660 of labor statistics

00:29:38.760 um

00:29:40.540 so i peeped these up

00:29:43.120 and the number five one

00:29:45.180 was garbage collectors

00:29:47.220 you don't think about it as being that dangerous

00:29:50.140 but you know

00:29:50.760 that truck likes to chomp

00:29:52.840 that truck will eat anything

00:29:54.740 that thing will eat a damn baby stroller

00:29:56.540 that bitch will eat an ex-wife

00:29:58.400 if you you know

00:29:59.100 if you you know

00:30:01.020 did something wrong to her

00:30:02.220 you know

00:30:03.380 uh

00:30:03.760 so

00:30:04.100 you know

00:30:05.320 that thing doesn't really have much of a conscience on it

00:30:07.580 and it

00:30:09.000 it also

00:30:09.600 people throw a lot of

00:30:10.560 you know

00:30:11.060 semi-bad food out in the garbage

00:30:13.140 so i'm sure you're cruising on the back of that thing

00:30:16.120 somebody threw a batch of bad shrimp in there

00:30:18.300 and at first

00:30:20.840 if you're like me

00:30:21.420 if you're in a car

00:30:22.140 you see some food or something

00:30:23.160 you're like

00:30:23.400 i'm not gonna have any

00:30:24.300 but

00:30:24.500 for some reason

00:30:25.820 three minutes later

00:30:26.980 i'm eating it

00:30:27.820 doesn't matter what

00:30:29.360 it's like that gordetto's or whatever

00:30:30.800 that shit

00:30:31.300 i hate it

00:30:31.880 you put a bag behind me

00:30:33.620 i look at it

00:30:34.240 i say oh i hate that

00:30:35.320 three minutes later

00:30:37.080 i'm eating it

00:30:37.860 i'm eating these little midget toasts

00:30:40.000 made for damn elves or whatever

00:30:41.500 i'm eating it

00:30:42.520 i'm making a little fucking sandwich

00:30:43.780 and putting a little peanut between

00:30:45.000 i'm eating it

00:30:45.700 so i can imagine it's the same thing

00:30:48.820 when you're out back there

00:30:49.740 you know

00:30:50.380 you're hiding on the back of that g truck

00:30:52.440 they always got two freaking uh

00:30:54.120 little recycle bunnies

00:30:55.760 hanging off the back of that bitch

00:30:57.200 and

00:30:58.660 and you forget

00:31:00.760 somebody you know

00:31:02.140 you know

00:31:02.780 somebody

00:31:03.180 threw in some bad shrimp

00:31:05.200 you out there

00:31:05.980 a mile later

00:31:07.260 you fucking have two of them

00:31:08.760 next thing you know

00:31:10.380 you

00:31:10.560 you six feet under the sea baby

00:31:13.160 that's it

00:31:13.760 bad shrimp

00:31:14.560 take anybody out

00:31:15.580 a king or a pauper

00:31:16.960 so i could really see

00:31:19.020 how that is uh

00:31:19.960 the number five job

00:31:21.280 that is um

00:31:22.900 unhealthy for people

00:31:23.980 the number four

00:31:25.840 most toughest uh

00:31:26.900 most dangerous job

00:31:27.920 roofers

00:31:28.820 it says right here

00:31:29.800 roofers

00:31:30.440 um

00:31:32.020 you know

00:31:32.960 them little lid monkeys

00:31:34.400 baby

00:31:34.680 if you

00:31:35.020 that's

00:31:36.600 if you want to put a top on something

00:31:38.260 they're trying to

00:31:38.640 they're trying to shut everything down

00:31:40.160 and close everything in

00:31:41.240 if you're a roofer

00:31:42.020 uh

00:31:43.420 i remember we used to invite this one kid over to play uh to play at the house

00:31:47.960 and me and my buddy we would call him and invite him to live across the street

00:31:51.720 but then we'd get up on the roof with a couple pellet guns

00:31:54.580 and uh

00:31:56.040 just spice him up

00:31:57.400 spice his skin up when he walked over

00:31:59.600 and he he already had this little fella had some uh

00:32:03.000 he wasn't little but he was

00:32:03.980 he had some bone density

00:32:05.860 deal going on and

00:32:07.860 uh

00:32:09.040 so part of him was little and part of him was big

00:32:12.040 you know

00:32:12.840 he was just kind of that little um

00:32:14.740 that little wobble rabbit

00:32:16.040 you know

00:32:16.620 that little shake it like a song

00:32:18.300 you know

00:32:18.900 he just had that built into him

00:32:20.380 and uh

00:32:21.820 and we're still all friends and shit

00:32:23.720 it was just childhood shit

00:32:24.720 but

00:32:24.880 if we didn't have a roof

00:32:26.120 that kind of shit don't happen

00:32:27.280 so i'm not shocked that roofing gets real real dangerous overall

00:32:31.720 number three we have uh

00:32:34.740 derrick operators

00:32:36.020 in oil and gas mining

00:32:38.480 and that doesn't surprise me

00:32:41.680 that's dangerous because

00:32:42.860 i mean natural gas

00:32:45.080 that's basically

00:32:45.900 mother

00:32:48.500 that's mother nature

00:32:49.320 has got a

00:32:49.820 it's just a fart

00:32:51.140 that's hiding inside of

00:32:52.460 mother nature

00:32:53.640 that's all it is man

00:32:55.640 natural gas

00:32:56.740 that's all that is man

00:32:57.640 so you're telling me

00:32:59.580 say you're laying somewhere right

00:33:01.060 and some dude rolls up with a needle

00:33:03.600 and sticks it in your body

00:33:05.300 and tries to suck a damn

00:33:07.680 butt puff right out of you bro

00:33:10.340 dude

00:33:11.900 i beat the elbows off that dude

00:33:14.040 he won't be able to hug anybody

00:33:16.020 he won't be able to hug correctly for damn

00:33:17.820 18 months

00:33:19.140 so that's all

00:33:21.060 mother nature

00:33:21.580 look that's dangerous

00:33:22.360 if you're trying to

00:33:22.980 just you know

00:33:24.220 suck a big dirt puff

00:33:26.900 right out of mother nature's abdomen

00:33:28.280 and then you get

00:33:28.920 you get side swiped by her

00:33:31.180 or whatever

00:33:31.600 i'm not surprised

00:33:33.140 she's beating people's asses

00:33:34.420 and and and

00:33:35.120 and really causing hell

00:33:36.100 and causing fatal accidents

00:33:37.520 says fatal accidents

00:33:38.660 so that don't shock me man

00:33:40.920 any creep trying to

00:33:42.220 suck something out of

00:33:43.020 mother nature's gut

00:33:43.860 is a real freak

00:33:44.960 i think they are real

00:33:46.520 booty freak

00:33:47.220 nature style

00:33:48.120 this is uh

00:33:49.800 i can't tell if this is getting

00:33:50.880 boring to me or not

00:33:51.540 but number two

00:33:52.820 uh aircraft pilots

00:33:54.140 and it says private

00:33:56.000 helicopter and aircraft pilots

00:33:59.240 and i think the the issue with them

00:34:02.000 why it could be dangerous

00:34:02.840 because there's not as much

00:34:04.420 with commercial pilots

00:34:05.820 there's more

00:34:06.720 checks and balances

00:34:08.740 there's other pilots

00:34:10.060 that they are all going to the airport with

00:34:12.220 and

00:34:12.420 but private

00:34:14.040 you just call your guy

00:34:15.100 hey i'm ready to go

00:34:16.160 you know

00:34:16.680 we're leaving in eight hour

00:34:17.860 we're leaving in three hour

00:34:18.740 we're leaving you know

00:34:19.340 and he could be doing anything

00:34:21.120 he could be hopped up on a couple blue shoes

00:34:23.800 half an eight ball

00:34:24.700 whatever

00:34:25.160 so now next thing you know

00:34:27.620 he's up there

00:34:28.220 he's navigating

00:34:28.980 you know

00:34:30.160 the rich

00:34:31.540 then that's the rich man

00:34:33.820 if you get rich

00:34:35.440 it gets risky

00:34:36.380 you know

00:34:37.840 there's a cost to beat a boss

00:34:39.280 and

00:34:39.500 and so that's what i think they get

00:34:41.780 they get these pilots that

00:34:43.100 they're ready to go

00:34:44.560 but

00:34:44.920 they could have been up to

00:34:47.140 no good right before

00:34:48.420 so

00:34:50.160 you get some dude up there

00:34:51.740 he's still all

00:34:52.420 you know

00:34:52.880 geeked up

00:34:54.060 on some of that fucking

00:34:56.000 on some of that nose broth baby

00:34:59.220 you know what i'm saying

00:34:59.820 liquid cocaine

00:35:00.840 and

00:35:02.520 he's

00:35:03.700 he's on damn hinge up there

00:35:05.200 he's swiping on matches

00:35:06.800 and the next thing you know

00:35:08.740 he swipes your fucking learjet

00:35:10.720 into the side of a mountain

00:35:11.740 so i think that

00:35:13.440 that's the issue with that

00:35:14.800 i would imagine

00:35:15.980 and the last one here

00:35:19.320 is logging workers

00:35:21.100 logging workers

00:35:22.840 i mean you just get a real

00:35:25.000 a lot of

00:35:25.520 a lot of people that are

00:35:26.900 trying to stay off the grid

00:35:28.120 a lot of people

00:35:30.260 um

00:35:31.520 and it's not really the tree

00:35:32.740 you got to worry about that much

00:35:34.180 because a tree only has two moves

00:35:36.540 it has

00:35:36.800 it has

00:35:37.480 the fall

00:35:38.460 and then

00:35:40.400 the real most dangerous move

00:35:42.020 of a tree

00:35:42.540 the roll

00:35:43.460 people don't think about that bitch

00:35:46.060 people yell timber

00:35:47.700 and it falls

00:35:49.060 then it fucking rolls over nine people

00:35:50.820 because they don't have a

00:35:52.380 nobody thought of another thing

00:35:54.060 for after timber

00:35:54.940 that's really

00:35:55.540 just ignorance

00:35:56.860 so

00:35:58.180 you get that timber

00:35:59.660 but you don't get that double up

00:36:01.000 on the roll

00:36:01.500 people getting damn rolled out

00:36:03.140 you know all of a sudden

00:36:04.400 you know fucking stepdad's flat

00:36:05.880 and y'all poor

00:36:06.820 so it's just

00:36:08.840 you know

00:36:10.180 they don't have a good plan for that

00:36:11.600 i think

00:36:11.960 with logging

00:36:12.500 and the secondary issue is this man

00:36:14.960 a lot of creep

00:36:15.680 a lot of just

00:36:16.460 crawdad humans out there

00:36:19.120 i work with this dude

00:36:20.720 ronnie bruh

00:36:21.740 and they call him big hat ronnie

00:36:24.560 and he was a brother

00:36:25.300 and he had mental retardation

00:36:26.880 and me and him got hired

00:36:29.720 and um

00:36:31.120 i was supposed to be the boss

00:36:32.980 but he didn't understand

00:36:33.720 what that meant

00:36:34.380 so

00:36:34.780 you know

00:36:37.160 and he was bigger than me anyway

00:36:38.540 and so we were both fucked

00:36:39.700 we're about you know

00:36:40.340 we're out there doing work

00:36:41.480 for my buddy richard

00:36:42.980 who actually

00:36:43.480 died

00:36:44.660 but

00:36:45.000 we're out there

00:36:47.640 and he

00:36:48.060 this dude bro

00:36:48.720 once they lit that saw up

00:36:50.220 they gave him that bitch

00:36:51.220 he fucking cut everything bro

00:36:52.800 this dude cut fucking

00:36:54.060 bird feeders in half

00:36:55.460 cutting fucking fences open

00:36:57.500 didn't give a shit

00:36:58.980 he cut open a damn

00:36:59.760 chain link fence bro

00:37:01.160 this dude man

00:37:03.040 he probably hit four trees

00:37:05.040 in about

00:37:05.500 maybe

00:37:06.300 half an afternoon

00:37:07.480 this dude would cut

00:37:08.860 a new fucking bathroom

00:37:10.060 into your fucking kitchen

00:37:11.480 this dude didn't give a shit bro

00:37:13.480 so

00:37:15.160 and he loved the uh

00:37:16.480 lakers

00:37:16.960 he loved the lakers

00:37:18.880 i remember that

00:37:19.600 and i hope he's doing well too

00:37:22.080 and he'd walk to work

00:37:23.900 that dude would leave for work

00:37:24.820 at 4 30

00:37:25.560 and get to work

00:37:26.140 at fucking 7 bro

00:37:27.260 that dude walked to work

00:37:29.720 just greased out

00:37:31.580 natural god's grease

00:37:32.840 baby sweat

00:37:33.620 and he'd just light

00:37:35.960 once that fucking gas fumes

00:37:37.520 hit him

00:37:37.840 and that fucking little baby

00:37:39.000 that little

00:37:40.380 just that spinning

00:37:41.660 scissor sword bro

00:37:43.880 he'd fucking cut anything

00:37:45.440 fucking cut the damn earth open

00:37:49.160 dude

00:37:49.320 he didn't give a shit bro

00:37:50.620 so i can see how logging

00:37:53.300 is dangerous

00:37:53.840 because the trees

00:37:54.660 and then the people

00:37:55.380 you're doing it with

00:37:56.360 they're fucked

00:37:57.520 what else

00:38:00.200 we got some great calls

00:38:01.580 that came in

00:38:02.340 in the hotline

00:38:03.640 as always

00:38:04.460 985-664-9503

00:38:08.840 um

00:38:10.360 we've had some good

00:38:12.000 good calls that came in

00:38:14.640 here we go

00:38:15.860 hey theo

00:38:18.640 so i've been thinking

00:38:21.020 um i've been single

00:38:22.900 about nine months now

00:38:25.460 my fiance cheated on me

00:38:27.020 with um

00:38:28.840 a dude

00:38:29.960 so i

00:38:31.460 obviously

00:38:32.460 broke that off

00:38:34.060 thought i was disgusted

00:38:35.920 but

00:38:36.500 so he

00:38:37.740 the thing that gets me

00:38:40.440 right

00:38:40.780 he says

00:38:41.900 that it was only

00:38:42.840 sexual

00:38:43.520 and that

00:38:45.160 since it wasn't

00:38:46.960 emotional

00:38:47.400 it's not gay

00:38:48.400 i don't understand

00:38:50.760 what do you think

00:38:51.900 for me

00:38:52.640 i think it's fucking gay

00:38:53.900 if he's a tranny

00:38:55.020 which i guess

00:38:56.100 he said it was

00:38:56.860 and he has a penis

00:38:58.820 it's gay

00:38:59.600 right

00:39:00.000 definitely gay

00:39:02.300 i mean

00:39:04.120 maybe if

00:39:04.880 they transitioned

00:39:06.000 and have the vagina

00:39:07.280 but it's not

00:39:08.860 but i don't know

00:39:09.540 just a question

00:39:10.320 that's kind of

00:39:11.120 eating me up

00:39:11.780 what um

00:39:13.460 thank you for the call

00:39:14.840 first of all

00:39:15.840 uh

00:39:16.540 and i'm sorry

00:39:17.580 that you're going

00:39:18.040 through this

00:39:18.720 and i appreciate

00:39:19.520 you sharing it

00:39:20.320 i think this is a

00:39:21.640 big topic in america

00:39:22.960 right now

00:39:23.740 and in the entire

00:39:24.640 world

00:39:25.100 um

00:39:26.480 i think what your

00:39:27.960 boyfriend

00:39:29.040 or your

00:39:29.920 your male

00:39:31.260 boyfriend

00:39:33.940 or whatever

00:39:34.600 i think what he's

00:39:35.800 doing is called

00:39:36.660 considering gay

00:39:37.840 or attempted gay

00:39:39.600 because it's not

00:39:42.220 really

00:39:42.720 i'm gonna go

00:39:44.240 and be gay

00:39:45.100 and do gay

00:39:46.280 it's more like

00:39:47.960 i'm gonna

00:39:48.400 he's kind of

00:39:49.840 just

00:39:50.160 he's just

00:39:51.860 wandering into

00:39:52.600 the car wash

00:39:53.360 a little

00:39:53.720 you know

00:39:54.540 he just kind of

00:39:55.980 looking at the

00:39:56.620 different sponges

00:39:57.620 and seeing how

00:39:58.440 you know

00:39:58.960 different things

00:40:00.120 soak

00:40:00.560 and how the

00:40:01.020 suds kind of

00:40:01.740 roll off of

00:40:02.360 different edges

00:40:02.940 and things

00:40:03.460 it seems like

00:40:04.220 um

00:40:06.260 and so i don't

00:40:08.440 know if that's

00:40:09.120 gay

00:40:09.440 you know

00:40:10.080 because he might

00:40:11.560 like some guys

00:40:12.560 like that

00:40:13.180 i hear a lot

00:40:14.360 about it

00:40:14.840 you would be

00:40:15.560 surprised

00:40:16.160 i hear a lot

00:40:17.500 about men

00:40:18.060 they like the

00:40:18.580 titties and they

00:40:19.220 like to have that

00:40:19.760 little wand

00:40:20.360 kind of wandering

00:40:21.040 around

00:40:21.500 that little door

00:40:22.420 stop on it

00:40:23.240 you know

00:40:23.660 because a lot

00:40:25.520 of um

00:40:26.300 trans

00:40:28.760 penises

00:40:30.080 aren't fully

00:40:31.100 functional

00:40:31.760 and you can

00:40:33.580 correct me

00:40:34.000 if i'm wrong

00:40:34.500 because i don't

00:40:36.300 know anything

00:40:36.780 but a lot

00:40:38.360 of trans

00:40:39.160 uh

00:40:39.840 people's penises

00:40:40.620 they're not

00:40:41.060 fully functional

00:40:42.080 penises

00:40:42.600 they are

00:40:43.320 kind of

00:40:44.400 part-time

00:40:45.000 wieners

00:40:45.520 or they are

00:40:46.760 some of them

00:40:48.440 are not

00:40:48.800 functional

00:40:49.220 it's just like

00:40:49.800 mistletoe

00:40:50.540 for the

00:40:50.960 for that

00:40:51.540 b-hole

00:40:52.020 baby

00:40:52.280 for that

00:40:52.600 butthole

00:40:53.080 so it's

00:40:54.620 just a

00:40:54.920 little

00:40:55.080 bait

00:40:55.520 and then

00:40:55.900 you

00:40:56.080 you know

00:40:56.640 you hit

00:40:57.680 him with

00:40:57.920 that b-hole

00:40:58.560 baby

00:40:58.900 um

00:41:00.540 so

00:41:01.740 maybe he

00:41:03.880 could just

00:41:04.240 be super

00:41:04.780 curious

00:41:05.180 you

00:41:05.440 he may

00:41:05.940 want you

00:41:06.380 to do

00:41:06.700 some new

00:41:07.120 stuff

00:41:07.460 he may

00:41:07.780 want you

00:41:08.100 to put

00:41:08.400 on a

00:41:08.860 fake

00:41:09.460 wiener

00:41:09.980 or fake

00:41:11.060 dick

00:41:13.220 and

00:41:14.820 do something

00:41:16.380 with him

00:41:16.860 you know

00:41:17.500 or hit

00:41:18.360 him with

00:41:18.580 some fake

00:41:19.040 dicks

00:41:19.420 or something

00:41:19.820 while y'all

00:41:20.220 are having

00:41:20.760 sex

00:41:21.020 i don't

00:41:21.300 know

00:41:21.620 i don't

00:41:23.380 know

00:41:23.640 what he

00:41:23.900 might

00:41:24.120 want

00:41:24.540 um

00:41:25.940 you know

00:41:28.060 you could

00:41:29.420 i don't

00:41:30.080 know

00:41:30.360 you could

00:41:31.060 write dick

00:41:31.600 on your

00:41:31.900 arm

00:41:32.160 and fucking

00:41:32.600 hit him

00:41:32.880 with it

00:41:33.240 i don't

00:41:34.200 know what

00:41:34.540 kind of

00:41:34.780 stuff he's

00:41:35.120 into

00:41:35.240 i don't

00:41:35.460 know

00:41:35.640 but it

00:41:36.180 doesn't

00:41:36.440 seem like

00:41:36.820 he's

00:41:37.040 just

00:41:37.300 trying to

00:41:37.760 be

00:41:37.940 gay

00:41:38.360 it

00:41:38.920 seems

00:41:39.260 like

00:41:39.500 he's

00:41:39.840 just

00:41:40.040 kind

00:41:40.340 of

00:41:41.320 just

00:41:42.080 you know

00:41:44.000 i'll

00:41:44.180 say it

00:41:44.400 like this

00:41:44.700 when i

00:41:45.020 was

00:41:45.240 when i

00:41:45.620 was

00:41:45.780 young

00:41:46.240 they

00:41:46.440 had

00:41:46.940 everybody

00:41:47.960 went to

00:41:48.320 the water

00:41:48.660 fountain

00:41:49.020 but there

00:41:51.660 were some

00:41:52.280 guys

00:41:52.980 that would

00:41:54.020 go to

00:41:54.320 the water

00:41:54.680 fountain

00:41:55.100 and they

00:41:56.300 would put

00:41:57.200 their mouth

00:41:57.800 on the

00:41:58.380 thing

00:41:58.740 and they

00:42:00.360 would just

00:42:00.740 take it

00:42:01.180 all

00:42:01.480 they didn't

00:42:03.020 want to

00:42:03.300 miss

00:42:03.560 nothing

00:42:04.040 they didn't

00:42:05.460 want to

00:42:05.780 miss a

00:42:06.120 damn drop

00:42:06.480 they would

00:42:06.780 suck it

00:42:07.360 right out

00:42:07.680 the fucking

00:42:08.100 machine

00:42:08.620 you could

00:42:09.580 hear the

00:42:09.840 machine

00:42:10.240 squeal a

00:42:11.040 little

00:42:11.180 sometime

00:42:11.580 if a

00:42:11.920 big guy

00:42:12.300 got on

00:42:12.700 so

00:42:15.280 you might

00:42:16.860 just have

00:42:17.300 a

00:42:17.420 and i

00:42:17.920 don't know

00:42:18.140 if those

00:42:18.440 men grew

00:42:18.860 up to

00:42:19.140 be gay

00:42:19.680 or if

00:42:20.940 they just

00:42:21.420 like to

00:42:21.840 get all

00:42:22.360 the

00:42:22.520 they just

00:42:23.020 like to

00:42:24.320 get their

00:42:24.660 water

00:42:24.940 different

00:42:25.400 so you

00:42:27.560 might not

00:42:28.020 have a

00:42:28.420 gay man

00:42:28.980 you just

00:42:29.340 might have

00:42:29.740 a man

00:42:30.180 who likes

00:42:30.580 to drink

00:42:31.040 a little

00:42:31.340 different

00:42:31.700 than you

00:42:32.180 so it

00:42:36.040 might just

00:42:36.420 be more

00:42:36.920 conversation

00:42:37.640 you need

00:42:38.040 to have

00:42:38.380 with this

00:42:38.720 gentleman

00:42:39.080 because if

00:42:42.460 anything

00:42:42.760 he's just

00:42:43.180 sound like

00:42:43.560 a real

00:42:43.840 curious

00:42:44.360 man

00:42:44.840 but

00:42:47.260 but i

00:42:47.960 wish you

00:42:48.240 the best

00:42:48.560 of luck

00:42:48.840 it's hard

00:42:49.260 out there

00:42:49.700 it's hard

00:42:51.540 for everybody

00:42:52.000 who's you

00:42:52.420 know looking

00:42:52.740 for love

00:42:53.200 it's just a

00:42:53.860 it's a real

00:42:54.840 lost and found

00:42:55.720 too especially

00:42:56.300 as we get

00:42:56.760 older

00:42:57.080 you're like

00:42:57.880 damn

00:42:58.440 you know

00:43:00.420 this sweater

00:43:00.960 has blood

00:43:01.600 in it

00:43:01.980 you know

00:43:02.260 you're like

00:43:02.520 what is

00:43:02.860 it's just

00:43:03.460 it gets

00:43:04.020 dicey

00:43:04.580 we got a

00:43:06.540 call here

00:43:07.060 let's take

00:43:08.760 this one

00:43:09.260 here we

00:43:09.960 go

00:43:10.320 uh hey

00:43:12.920 ceo this

00:43:13.620 is dylan

00:43:14.260 um i'm

00:43:15.900 in the u.s

00:43:16.600 army and

00:43:18.360 i just want

00:43:18.780 to let you

00:43:19.180 know i'm

00:43:19.600 a normal

00:43:20.080 man

00:43:20.620 and that's

00:43:23.960 it love

00:43:24.500 you brother

00:43:24.940 well

00:43:33.340 that's good

00:43:36.120 man

00:43:36.480 i think

00:43:38.820 that's

00:43:39.420 i think

00:43:41.960 it's

00:43:42.180 i think

00:43:43.140 that's

00:43:43.340 really good

00:43:43.820 i guess

00:43:44.300 you know

00:43:46.160 and i

00:43:46.380 appreciate

00:43:46.680 that call

00:43:47.240 too dylan

00:43:47.760 normal

00:43:49.380 man

00:43:50.000 what is

00:43:52.900 that

00:43:53.300 dylan

00:43:56.460 is a

00:43:56.920 normal

00:43:57.420 man

00:43:58.380 i don't

00:44:01.620 know i

00:44:01.880 have

00:44:02.180 i know i've

00:44:02.880 introduced

00:44:03.120 myself to

00:44:03.640 women like

00:44:04.060 that and

00:44:04.400 that's

00:44:04.640 that is

00:44:05.120 a scary

00:44:05.780 they don't

00:44:06.180 like that

00:44:06.820 hey i'm

00:44:08.720 a normal

00:44:09.040 man they

00:44:09.560 don't like

00:44:09.920 or hey i'm

00:44:10.740 not a bad

00:44:11.580 guy you know

00:44:12.300 some of that

00:44:12.740 kind of it's

00:44:13.080 not a good

00:44:13.540 way to do

00:44:14.000 it with the

00:44:14.420 women i've

00:44:16.080 found you

00:44:18.260 know i

00:44:18.400 remember one

00:44:18.740 time i

00:44:19.080 followed this

00:44:19.540 woman in san

00:44:20.040 francisco for

00:44:20.540 like four

00:44:21.120 blocks and

00:44:24.200 i finally caught

00:44:24.880 up to her this

00:44:25.420 fast woman i

00:44:28.320 finally catch up

00:44:29.080 to her and i

00:44:29.980 was like hey i'm

00:44:30.500 not like a

00:44:31.040 creeper or a

00:44:31.740 pervert or

00:44:32.260 something and

00:44:33.260 she fucking

00:44:33.820 flipped out

00:44:34.660 dude and i

00:44:36.640 was trying to

00:44:37.320 just you know

00:44:39.260 talk to her

00:44:40.080 but i don't

00:44:42.680 know i've

00:44:43.160 never even been

00:44:43.720 in that city

00:44:44.160 before and

00:44:44.660 also you know

00:44:45.880 who spilled

00:44:46.320 wine on me

00:44:47.140 uh he used to

00:44:50.780 play quarterback

00:44:51.980 who are some

00:44:53.500 former quarterbacks

00:44:54.460 trevin if you

00:44:54.880 can look it up

00:44:55.320 for the um

00:44:55.880 san francisco

00:44:56.700 49ers

00:44:57.480 i thought his

00:44:59.900 name was

00:45:00.220 brock purdy

00:45:03.200 nope

00:45:03.680 trey lace

00:45:04.400 jimmy

00:45:05.340 garapolo

00:45:06.520 okay someone

00:45:07.460 does not

00:45:08.620 follow football

00:45:09.640 no previous

00:45:10.740 earlier

00:45:12.400 oh

00:45:13.960 after joe

00:45:14.760 who y'all got

00:45:16.780 after joe in

00:45:17.460 there

00:45:17.760 steve young

00:45:23.400 jeff

00:45:24.200 garcia

00:45:24.760 jeff garcia

00:45:25.520 there we go

00:45:26.000 jeff garcia

00:45:27.200 spilled wine on

00:45:28.060 a damn new

00:45:28.900 brand new

00:45:29.420 banana republic

00:45:30.320 lime green

00:45:31.780 button up

00:45:32.340 i had

00:45:32.820 that bitch

00:45:33.820 was fire

00:45:34.360 and i was

00:45:34.660 so excited

00:45:35.180 to wear it

00:45:35.740 and and

00:45:37.060 he spilled

00:45:37.720 wine on

00:45:38.300 it pretty

00:45:38.540 nice wine

00:45:39.220 i thought

00:45:39.660 uh

00:45:40.800 malbat

00:45:42.100 okay

00:45:44.920 thank you

00:45:46.040 dylan

00:45:46.480 take care of

00:45:48.180 yourself

00:45:48.560 buddies

00:45:49.040 take care of

00:45:51.040 yourself

00:45:51.440 um

00:45:52.060 here we got

00:45:53.080 a uh

00:45:53.560 call right

00:45:54.160 here

00:45:54.740 hey

00:45:56.320 theo

00:45:56.880 man i've

00:45:57.560 got this

00:45:58.120 i've got this

00:45:58.920 topic this

00:45:59.640 story i just

00:46:00.360 need to get

00:46:00.760 off my chest

00:46:01.680 and it's

00:46:02.700 it's shit in

00:46:03.260 your pants in

00:46:03.900 front of a

00:46:04.380 female

00:46:04.760 and uh

00:46:06.420 it's happened

00:46:06.820 to me

00:46:07.300 a couple

00:46:08.100 times but

00:46:08.860 one one time

00:46:09.680 i really

00:46:10.060 remember we

00:46:10.760 had some

00:46:11.340 panda express

00:46:12.400 the night

00:46:12.800 before and

00:46:13.920 i'm i'm just

00:46:14.600 getting to know

00:46:15.200 her you know

00:46:16.020 a couple

00:46:16.380 dates and

00:46:17.700 uh everything

00:46:18.420 was good you

00:46:19.200 know in in

00:46:20.200 the night and

00:46:21.560 i wake up in

00:46:22.420 the morning for

00:46:23.020 work i'm like

00:46:24.300 man i gotta i

00:46:25.740 gotta relieve this

00:46:26.680 pressure in my

00:46:27.400 bowels but i'm

00:46:28.860 late for work i

00:46:29.660 don't know this

00:46:30.260 girl that way i

00:46:31.080 don't do that to

00:46:32.400 her bathroom so i

00:46:33.640 leave and i get

00:46:34.860 about halfway to

00:46:35.640 my car and i'm

00:46:36.480 like yeah this was

00:46:37.340 a mistake um i

00:46:38.940 don't know what

00:46:39.400 to do now i'm

00:46:40.200 looking around for

00:46:41.100 a shrub or

00:46:42.160 whatever

00:46:42.500 a shrub

00:46:44.060 what do you

00:46:46.060 mean zelda or

00:46:46.880 something onward

00:46:48.640 apartment complex

00:46:50.400 so there's there's

00:46:51.680 not much cover to

00:46:52.440 get around so i'm

00:46:53.740 thinking man i

00:46:54.700 just gotta i gotta

00:46:55.820 do it right here

00:46:56.520 by my door so i'm

00:46:57.980 looking around while

00:46:59.100 i'm looking around

00:47:00.100 about to do it she

00:47:01.400 comes walking out

00:47:02.560 on the on the like

00:47:04.220 on the deck or

00:47:05.140 whatever you know

00:47:05.900 waving my phone at

00:47:07.040 me hey you left

00:47:08.200 your phone dummy

00:47:09.080 so i'm like

00:47:10.340 fuck i start

00:47:11.600 walking over there

00:47:12.600 and i get about

00:47:13.240 halfway through i'm

00:47:14.640 like shit throw

00:47:16.320 it down throw the

00:47:18.000 phone down to me

00:47:18.800 i don't walk up

00:47:20.020 upstairs throw it

00:47:21.000 down no just come

00:47:21.960 up here silly i'm

00:47:23.600 like no fucking

00:47:24.640 throw the phone

00:47:25.540 down there's

00:47:26.580 nothing worse than

00:47:27.580 when someone calls

00:47:28.260 you silly when you

00:47:29.160 have to shit there's

00:47:30.900 not it's like do

00:47:33.620 you there is nothing

00:47:35.240 silly about me lady

00:47:37.300 i am going through

00:47:40.300 i am reenacting that

00:47:43.420 movie 300 right now

00:47:44.800 in my pants and you

00:47:46.260 know you're fucking

00:47:46.800 calling me oh hey

00:47:48.000 silly you don't want

00:47:48.920 your food i will

00:47:50.860 fucking shit one of

00:47:52.400 your windows open

00:47:53.260 okay onward

00:47:54.820 as i'm you know

00:47:56.020 yelling at her i'm

00:47:56.900 not going up these

00:47:57.620 steps i'm just

00:47:58.780 seeping seepage

00:48:00.360 coming out she comes

00:48:02.280 down finally gives me

00:48:03.620 a hug gives me my

00:48:04.640 bro is there bro if

00:48:07.920 you let somebody hug

00:48:09.240 you while you have

00:48:11.280 shit yourself dude

00:48:12.440 you you sir are

00:48:16.240 messed up man you're

00:48:18.980 a messed up dude

00:48:19.960 bro and i don't say

00:48:20.980 that kind of stuff to

00:48:21.680 people a lot but

00:48:23.580 that's insane man

00:48:24.840 letting somebody hug

00:48:26.920 you while you've shit

00:48:27.720 on yourself let that

00:48:30.260 write that down and

00:48:31.960 then read it a couple

00:48:32.720 times jesus when i

00:48:35.180 turn around and i'm

00:48:37.020 sure she saw those

00:48:38.340 skid marks yep

00:48:40.660 i look i think it's

00:48:51.700 your issue bub that's

00:48:53.760 what i think i think

00:48:55.620 you gotta i don't know

00:48:57.240 what you gotta do man i

00:48:58.280 got no suggestion for

00:48:59.240 you bro dear god

00:49:01.620 oh oh i can't now it

00:49:06.380 just makes me scared to

00:49:07.320 hug anybody and you're

00:49:09.380 doing that to people

00:49:10.300 dude but be well you

00:49:13.260 know one thing that gets

00:49:14.240 me sometimes nightmares

00:49:15.540 i'll be laying there i'll

00:49:17.860 be shut down and bam

00:49:19.220 the devil sends some

00:49:21.180 thoughts the devil sends

00:49:23.220 a story i don't want

00:49:26.020 that it's the same thing

00:49:28.200 with my uh credit cards if

00:49:29.700 i have a high balance that

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00:50:54.440 you only have so much skin on

00:50:55.760 your body it's one of those

00:50:58.180 things you get a limited amount

00:50:59.440 of acreage so you gotta you gotta

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00:51:20.080 and I do it it makes me feel

00:51:22.400 some type of way but in the

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00:53:29.460 all right um i am uh i'm grateful

00:53:35.080 really uh right now um you know i want

00:53:38.640 to talk to people that have been

00:53:39.880 through something i want to feel

00:53:42.180 something on this show i want to talk

00:53:44.920 to men and women that have had a that

00:53:48.100 have had a walk that a lot of others

00:53:50.480 don't have that have been through a

00:53:53.000 journey i want to talk to some

00:53:55.320 miracles you know god's little easter

00:53:59.200 bunnies and um if you know someone who

00:54:05.320 people would consider a miracle

00:54:08.200 something they've been through um it

00:54:13.820 could be anything avalanche uh electrical

00:54:17.780 storm um anything drowning reincarnation

00:54:23.320 anything if you know somebody like that

00:54:26.820 have them hit the hotline nine eight

00:54:28.060 five six six four nine five zero three

00:54:30.020 or you can hit it and just say hey this

00:54:32.600 person but make sure that they're cool

00:54:35.000 with it i'm not cold calling damn you

00:54:38.140 know you know i'm not going to be cold

00:54:40.760 calling a bunch of amputees or not um

00:54:44.100 but yeah we just i want to talk to people

00:54:46.920 that have just stood right there on the

00:54:49.720 welcome mat of heaven or hell

00:54:52.780 and um i want to get close to something

00:54:57.800 on this show close to something real

00:55:00.420 um and we're going to talk today to one

00:55:03.540 we got a man i'll uh i'll show a clip

00:55:06.340 from the past from um when he first

00:55:08.460 called into the show our boy dalton

00:55:11.020 trained victim and uh i'm looking forward

00:55:14.960 uh to talking to this man what's going

00:55:18.560 on uh my name is dalton i've been listening

00:55:22.340 to the show off and on for a while now

00:55:25.360 you mentioned some about your uncle or i

00:55:29.360 forget who got hit by a train i can

00:55:32.300 relate because uh when i was in high

00:55:35.260 school it was probably like 10 years ago

00:55:37.840 i was actually hit by a train

00:55:40.080 uh on the way to school i was walking to

00:55:43.200 school

00:55:43.620 and i lived and uh yeah i don't know if

00:55:48.960 you want me to i can send you

00:55:50.700 damn send me what dog you gonna send me

00:55:54.180 some arms son i'm just joking man

00:55:56.120 wow

00:55:57.300 on the line there dalton can you hear me

00:56:00.720 i can hear you brother what's up baby

00:56:03.560 there he is

00:56:04.580 man you're a miracle you're a miracle

00:56:07.940 brother

00:56:08.460 hey living a miracle

00:56:10.120 wow baby that little boxcar bad boy son

00:56:13.560 that rail baby

00:56:14.640 all day hey yes man

00:56:18.120 dude i feel uplifted even just seeing you

00:56:20.700 man uh thanks for joining us for a

00:56:22.400 little bit today

00:56:23.100 thanks for having me

00:56:24.780 yeah man so you know you've had a really

00:56:27.300 unique experience that other people

00:56:28.900 haven't had you've been hit by a train

00:56:31.240 and it just doesn't happen to folks uh

00:56:34.600 can you take us through some of that

00:56:36.040 yeah no problem so when i was in uh it

00:56:40.800 was in high school i was in high school

00:56:42.920 about 10 years ago

00:56:44.180 and uh when i would walk to school there

00:56:49.640 was a set of train tracks that every kid

00:56:52.100 would have to cross to get to school

00:56:53.880 oh yeah

00:56:54.640 them risk sticks baby that's what those are

00:56:57.780 gang baby dang

00:56:59.620 okay sorry for interrupting you go on

00:57:01.880 is high school

00:57:02.620 you're out there you're walking to school

00:57:04.680 yeah no problem um

00:57:06.900 yeah so in my mind i've never seen

00:57:10.860 a train go by on these train tracks

00:57:13.780 it like very seldomly does

00:57:15.780 a train go by on these train tracks

00:57:17.880 and it was right after christmas

00:57:20.920 and i got a big set of headphones for

00:57:23.740 christmas

00:57:24.120 yeah and uh i was walking to school

00:57:27.720 and i would know when to look up

00:57:29.460 i'm like it's like uh cross the street

00:57:32.000 look both ways

00:57:33.060 but this set of train i'm not

00:57:35.200 i'm saying you know it's

00:57:37.740 mostly my fault that this happened

00:57:40.420 i'm not blaming anybody for this

00:57:42.340 but i was looking down

00:57:44.740 with headphones on

00:57:46.700 and the train was going very slow

00:57:49.700 and when i uh think about it

00:57:52.700 if there was a camera on the situation

00:57:55.800 what had to have happened was

00:57:58.080 the train's going like this

00:58:00.260 and i'm walking like this

00:58:02.540 and perfect timing

00:58:04.700 i step on the track

00:58:06.460 train runs over my foot

00:58:08.580 hits me in the head

00:58:10.140 it was only two carts long

00:58:12.740 so it wasn't a long train

00:58:13.940 but

00:58:14.220 oh really

00:58:14.900 i went underneath

00:58:16.600 that little new one hit you

00:58:18.040 and then i popped back out

00:58:18.840 sorry

00:58:19.740 you went right under it huh

00:58:21.220 yeah

00:58:22.180 and then i popped back out

00:58:24.120 and then i woke up

00:58:25.620 and then

00:58:27.660 somebody seen the whole situation

00:58:29.940 somebody had to flag the train down

00:58:31.940 wow

00:58:33.420 they didn't even stop

00:58:34.520 what was going on

00:58:35.460 now were you um

00:58:37.980 what what song were you listening to

00:58:39.640 i was

00:58:40.960 i was listening to

00:58:42.320 ozzy

00:58:43.100 revelation mother earth

00:58:44.440 dang

00:58:45.680 so yeah

00:58:47.200 that's kind of heavy metal

00:58:48.320 yes

00:58:49.520 heavy metal on the heavy metal

00:58:51.540 yeah bro

00:58:52.220 that's really wild

00:58:53.400 i mean that's almost like

00:58:54.960 your ears are asking for it

00:58:56.220 they wanted that

00:58:56.800 you know

00:58:57.200 they wanted the heart

00:58:58.620 they wanted some real percussion

00:59:00.300 going on

00:59:00.900 they wanted that

00:59:01.460 heavy percussion section

00:59:03.320 um

00:59:04.260 were you conscious

00:59:05.400 after you come out the bottom of it

00:59:07.040 i woke up

00:59:09.000 after

00:59:09.760 like

00:59:10.500 just beside the tracks

00:59:12.040 i woke up

00:59:12.880 i spit up blood

00:59:14.540 i lifted up my leg

00:59:16.560 and my leg was like completely

00:59:18.020 like just limp

00:59:19.620 like everything was shattered in there

00:59:21.200 and it was just completely limp

00:59:22.420 like a tongue almost huh

00:59:24.020 basically yeah

00:59:25.520 a long tongue

00:59:26.620 and so um

00:59:28.300 did it knock your shoes off

00:59:29.640 or anything

00:59:30.040 see this is the weird part

00:59:32.260 yeah

00:59:32.540 it knocked my shoes off

00:59:34.040 and the shoes were completely fine

00:59:35.840 so

00:59:36.280 i kept wearing those

00:59:37.780 you kept wearing them

00:59:39.440 well like

00:59:40.900 after i got to the hospital

00:59:41.960 you know

00:59:42.520 a good pair of shoes

00:59:43.500 i mean

00:59:45.200 i i think i'd get

00:59:46.080 i'd feel like i'd burn everything

00:59:47.580 but i like your attitude

00:59:48.500 you're just gonna go right back in there

00:59:50.040 and that's one thing that i really did admire about you man

00:59:52.420 was

00:59:52.660 some of your attitude

00:59:54.120 i remember whenever you called in

00:59:55.820 you said

00:59:56.440 that you'd been hit by a train

00:59:58.800 and some of the positive effects

01:00:00.580 that had come out of that

01:00:01.680 and that if you

01:00:03.080 if you could do it again

01:00:04.680 that you would do it again

01:00:06.080 you'd run it back

01:00:06.940 absolutely

01:00:08.520 um

01:00:09.440 i honestly think that

01:00:11.260 if somebody could go through a near-death experience

01:00:14.140 and survive

01:00:15.100 obviously

01:00:15.880 very healing process

01:00:18.260 like

01:00:18.760 it's almost like god

01:00:20.380 you know

01:00:20.940 sat me down

01:00:22.000 and said

01:00:22.520 you gotta take this more seriously

01:00:24.620 you know

01:00:25.060 like

01:00:25.400 i you know

01:00:27.160 try and live

01:00:27.960 like you know

01:00:29.660 i hope for tomorrow

01:00:30.780 but you never know

01:00:31.800 yeah it's like god saying

01:00:33.820 i chew chew

01:00:34.620 choose you dog

01:00:35.720 you know what i'm saying

01:00:36.580 absolutely

01:00:37.900 now

01:00:38.700 what are some things

01:00:39.640 that kind of happened to you

01:00:40.700 like uh

01:00:41.400 what are some of the

01:00:42.160 like um

01:00:43.140 uplifting thoughts

01:00:44.160 and attitudes

01:00:44.840 what

01:00:45.480 what positives

01:00:46.360 kind of

01:00:46.800 happened inside of you

01:00:48.260 after that

01:00:48.840 like what adjusted

01:00:49.620 if anything did

01:00:50.560 well

01:00:52.160 i kind of felt like

01:00:53.760 before that

01:00:54.680 like

01:00:55.640 i was in high school

01:00:57.260 and i was a kid

01:00:58.200 before that

01:00:59.260 i was kind of like

01:00:59.960 on autopilot

01:01:01.040 and you know

01:01:02.680 i would just

01:01:03.420 you know

01:01:03.920 i didn't know who i was

01:01:05.440 and

01:01:05.720 i was just kind of

01:01:06.780 on autopilot in life

01:01:08.160 and

01:01:08.360 after that experience

01:01:10.020 you know

01:01:10.840 it really

01:01:11.580 showed me that

01:01:13.820 you know

01:01:15.100 i had to come into

01:01:15.920 my own character

01:01:16.880 and showed me that

01:01:17.820 life is important

01:01:18.820 you know

01:01:19.380 like

01:01:19.760 um

01:01:21.880 made me

01:01:23.200 it's a part of who i am

01:01:24.360 and it made me who i am

01:01:25.440 i wouldn't change it at all

01:01:26.880 i don't know where i'd be

01:01:28.180 if that wouldn't happen

01:01:29.120 if that didn't happen

01:01:30.780 wow

01:01:31.700 that's really

01:01:32.260 it's just such a fascinating

01:01:33.460 take on it man

01:01:34.420 because i think

01:01:34.880 to be honest

01:01:35.880 there's a lot of folks

01:01:36.660 out there that

01:01:37.200 that would like to

01:01:38.340 i think get hit by a train

01:01:39.440 but aren't willing to put in

01:01:40.520 the time

01:01:40.980 you know

01:01:41.180 aren't willing to really

01:01:42.060 you know

01:01:43.040 put their nuts

01:01:43.840 on the

01:01:44.320 you know

01:01:44.900 in the basket

01:01:45.560 or whatever

01:01:46.040 you know

01:01:46.700 the 10,000 hours

01:01:47.860 yeah

01:01:48.680 yeah

01:01:49.000 they're not willing

01:01:51.060 to really show up

01:01:51.860 and do the work

01:01:52.720 um

01:01:53.520 did it help you

01:01:54.580 in any sense

01:01:55.180 with the ladies

01:01:55.940 or anything

01:01:56.240 that was there

01:01:56.760 any kind of

01:01:57.660 did it have an effect

01:01:58.700 on people

01:01:59.380 other people

01:02:00.200 you know

01:02:01.200 it is kind of

01:02:02.340 a weird situation

01:02:03.180 it has been

01:02:03.860 a weird situation

01:02:04.740 i am that guy

01:02:06.320 that got hit

01:02:07.000 by a train

01:02:07.680 hell yeah

01:02:08.340 i walk into the bar

01:02:09.500 oh you're that guy

01:02:10.580 that got hit

01:02:11.060 by a train

01:02:11.680 i'm like

01:02:12.100 yeah

01:02:12.820 you know

01:02:13.540 it happens

01:02:14.660 but uh

01:02:16.060 on the ladies side

01:02:18.520 you know

01:02:18.840 like people are

01:02:19.560 interested

01:02:20.060 or like

01:02:20.680 it's interesting

01:02:21.380 but you know

01:02:22.260 like

01:02:22.600 i don't know

01:02:24.460 it hasn't

01:02:25.280 uh

01:02:25.680 i haven't gotten

01:02:26.180 any more

01:02:26.800 or any less

01:02:27.440 ladies because of it

01:02:28.480 i'd like to think

01:02:29.180 because of my character

01:02:30.100 yeah well it's funny

01:02:31.840 i feel like you

01:02:32.460 and i almost look

01:02:33.100 the same

01:02:33.420 i feel like you

01:02:34.080 and me

01:02:34.360 are some

01:02:34.820 somewhat versions

01:02:35.620 of each other

01:02:36.240 in some sense

01:02:37.060 man um

01:02:37.840 now did it hit

01:02:38.880 your penis

01:02:39.380 or anything

01:02:39.720 did any of your

01:02:40.420 body get mangled

01:02:41.280 like that

01:02:41.820 did your wiener

01:02:42.760 get hit out

01:02:43.360 or whatever

01:02:43.760 no uh

01:02:45.180 fortunately not

01:02:46.480 uh it

01:02:47.300 basically just my foot

01:02:49.160 you want to see it

01:02:50.000 oh yeah

01:02:51.620 yeah

01:02:52.980 yeah i think i do

01:02:54.280 hell yeah

01:02:55.400 so this

01:02:57.720 this freaks the kids

01:02:58.980 out when i show

01:02:59.800 them but

01:03:00.300 yeah but fuck

01:03:01.140 the kids man

01:03:02.120 whoa boy

01:03:05.620 damn you got that

01:03:06.620 eternal peace

01:03:07.800 sign son

01:03:08.560 so yeah

01:03:11.080 i lost three

01:03:12.080 toes

01:03:12.700 and

01:03:14.600 this

01:03:15.520 is a skin

01:03:16.380 graft

01:03:16.860 on top

01:03:17.680 oh

01:03:18.280 from my leg

01:03:19.380 like from

01:03:20.860 uh

01:03:21.180 my thigh

01:03:21.840 and

01:03:22.720 the weird part

01:03:23.800 is his hair

01:03:24.460 grows on this

01:03:25.320 now

01:03:25.680 because it's

01:03:27.160 from my leg

01:03:28.200 oh

01:03:28.760 that's awesome

01:03:29.340 so i'm like

01:03:29.640 do i shave

01:03:30.320 my foot

01:03:30.960 or

01:03:31.500 hell yeah

01:03:34.700 grow a little

01:03:35.320 uh soul patch

01:03:36.320 on there

01:03:36.740 s-o-l-e

01:03:38.180 dude that's

01:03:39.940 phenomenal man

01:03:41.060 i i love

01:03:42.120 your attitude

01:03:42.680 um

01:03:43.360 did it

01:03:44.160 did it

01:03:44.660 adjust the way

01:03:45.400 that you interact

01:03:46.300 with people

01:03:46.880 afterwards

01:03:47.420 did it have

01:03:48.040 any effect

01:03:48.480 on that

01:03:48.880 i could really

01:03:49.340 see that

01:03:50.180 happening

01:03:50.600 well

01:03:51.780 like i said

01:03:54.780 people

01:03:55.420 you know

01:03:56.760 i am branded

01:03:57.640 with this

01:03:58.180 situation

01:03:58.700 like you know

01:03:59.440 everybody knows

01:04:00.320 it's like

01:04:00.740 and i understand

01:04:02.180 how crazy it is

01:04:04.680 for somebody

01:04:05.280 to see somebody

01:04:06.280 it's like

01:04:06.640 oh they got

01:04:07.160 hit by a train

01:04:07.900 but uh

01:04:09.240 the way i act

01:04:10.340 towards people

01:04:11.120 is i'm always

01:04:12.800 talking about

01:04:13.620 you know

01:04:14.480 life

01:04:15.560 and god

01:04:16.620 and this

01:04:17.380 and that

01:04:18.060 and you know

01:04:18.880 sometimes people

01:04:19.560 get weirded out

01:04:21.020 but

01:04:21.380 you know

01:04:22.560 this is

01:04:23.160 this is the

01:04:23.780 game of life

01:04:24.420 you know

01:04:24.860 yeah man

01:04:26.240 it is important

01:04:27.620 do you feel

01:04:28.460 like god

01:04:28.880 was reaching

01:04:29.280 out to you

01:04:29.880 absolutely

01:04:31.540 knocked me

01:04:33.220 off my horse

01:04:34.100 and said

01:04:35.380 you need to

01:04:36.480 take this

01:04:36.820 game of life

01:04:37.340 seriously

01:04:37.920 wow

01:04:38.400 wow

01:04:39.080 that's interesting

01:04:39.620 do you feel

01:04:40.120 like it made

01:04:40.520 you more

01:04:40.800 religious

01:04:41.180 it really

01:04:41.560 it really

01:04:42.100 tied your

01:04:43.380 shoelaces

01:04:43.840 directly to

01:04:44.540 the lord's

01:04:45.180 you know

01:04:46.060 long hair

01:04:47.520 absolutely

01:04:48.840 um

01:04:49.740 i don't

01:04:50.660 believe in

01:04:51.420 i believe

01:04:52.700 all gods

01:04:53.860 are real

01:04:54.440 you know

01:04:55.420 whatever you

01:04:56.080 believe

01:04:56.800 is real

01:04:57.920 and

01:04:59.320 you know

01:04:59.980 that

01:05:00.500 experience

01:05:01.140 made me

01:05:01.740 really

01:05:02.280 feel like

01:05:03.080 you know

01:05:03.960 there

01:05:04.280 there is

01:05:05.000 an architect

01:05:05.520 there is

01:05:06.240 something

01:05:06.540 out there

01:05:07.140 you know

01:05:08.060 planning

01:05:09.200 things

01:05:09.660 putting

01:05:09.960 tracks

01:05:10.540 in front

01:05:11.000 of things

01:05:11.500 you know

01:05:11.940 amen

01:05:12.520 baby

01:05:13.100 all the

01:05:14.000 lord

01:05:14.720 you know

01:05:15.340 what i'm

01:05:15.580 saying

01:05:15.960 let's get

01:05:17.240 it dude

01:05:17.780 wow man

01:05:19.520 well dude

01:05:20.260 it's just

01:05:20.740 you know

01:05:21.220 i love your

01:05:21.980 attitude man

01:05:22.660 getting to see

01:05:23.240 you i've been

01:05:23.540 wanting to

01:05:23.980 for a while

01:05:24.680 i've just

01:05:25.000 been kind

01:05:25.400 of like

01:05:25.800 kind of

01:05:26.660 getting

01:05:26.860 well

01:05:27.140 my

01:05:27.380 just

01:05:27.740 taking

01:05:28.120 care

01:05:28.380 of

01:05:28.480 myself

01:05:28.860 and

01:05:29.160 um

01:05:29.920 been

01:05:30.120 having

01:05:30.300 a lot

01:05:30.540 of guests

01:05:30.940 on but

01:05:31.340 i really

01:05:31.700 wanted to

01:05:32.160 connect back

01:05:32.780 with you

01:05:33.120 man

01:05:33.400 you've been

01:05:33.920 on my

01:05:34.220 mind

01:05:34.720 uh

01:05:35.440 just because

01:05:35.860 your attitude

01:05:36.460 about saying

01:05:37.220 hey man

01:05:37.880 run it

01:05:38.760 back if i

01:05:39.400 can have an

01:05:39.800 experience that

01:05:40.700 brings me

01:05:41.300 that close

01:05:42.100 to realizing

01:05:43.060 the value

01:05:43.940 of my

01:05:45.040 existence

01:05:45.740 that i'm

01:05:47.660 willing to

01:05:48.220 almost do

01:05:48.860 that that

01:05:49.720 there's that

01:05:50.360 there must be

01:05:50.900 such a value

01:05:51.800 in that

01:05:52.260 huh i mean

01:05:52.720 it must feel

01:05:53.440 really

01:05:53.840 because you

01:05:54.800 you can't

01:05:55.440 just get

01:05:55.900 that you

01:05:56.280 can't just

01:05:56.680 create that

01:05:57.480 absolutely

01:05:59.220 like i would

01:06:00.480 equate it to

01:06:01.100 like maybe

01:06:01.640 you know a

01:06:02.580 psychedelic

01:06:03.220 experience

01:06:03.880 or like

01:06:04.980 it really

01:06:05.840 make it

01:06:06.400 makes me

01:06:07.060 at least

01:06:07.580 like i

01:06:08.060 don't know

01:06:08.560 anybody else

01:06:10.260 in their

01:06:10.740 psyche how

01:06:11.660 they would

01:06:12.300 react to

01:06:13.380 it but

01:06:14.220 for me it

01:06:15.140 makes me feel

01:06:15.900 the weight

01:06:16.440 of every

01:06:17.060 day

01:06:17.400 amen

01:06:19.580 and that you

01:06:20.320 know this

01:06:21.200 is the one

01:06:21.740 shot we

01:06:22.320 only get one

01:06:22.900 shot

01:06:23.320 one opportunity

01:06:24.520 this is it

01:06:25.720 dude mom's

01:06:26.460 spaghetti son

01:06:27.380 i feel you

01:06:28.060 bro

01:06:28.400 well look man

01:06:29.700 i'd love to

01:06:30.640 check in with

01:06:31.100 you again man

01:06:31.660 we'll send you

01:06:32.100 some merch and

01:06:32.700 stuff like that

01:06:33.440 and just uh

01:06:34.300 get you dripped

01:06:35.200 out we don't

01:06:35.620 have any dope

01:06:36.160 ass socks

01:06:36.800 for you but

01:06:37.560 uh yeah

01:06:38.900 we'll see what

01:06:39.780 we can do man

01:06:40.680 and just thanks

01:06:41.840 for being alive

01:06:42.720 man um

01:06:43.580 do you accredit

01:06:44.860 anything inside

01:06:46.320 of you that

01:06:47.140 you feel like

01:06:48.040 uh

01:06:48.620 do you feel

01:06:50.460 like you were

01:06:51.000 the guy that

01:06:51.480 was supposed to

01:06:52.100 get hit by a

01:06:52.640 train if people

01:06:53.260 would have said

01:06:53.740 before who's

01:06:54.560 supposed to get

01:06:55.100 hit by a train

01:06:56.000 you think people

01:06:57.200 would have picked

01:06:57.660 you or you

01:06:58.140 think you just

01:06:58.820 really you know

01:06:59.980 just caught that

01:07:01.100 lucky uh fucking

01:07:02.280 long bus you

01:07:03.180 know i honestly

01:07:04.640 think it was

01:07:05.260 supposed to be

01:07:05.880 me man like

01:07:06.700 my my mental

01:07:08.420 strength like i

01:07:09.260 believe that you

01:07:10.640 know i'm mentally

01:07:11.740 strong not like i'm

01:07:13.340 not trying to like

01:07:13.960 boast or anything

01:07:14.760 but you know

01:07:15.480 this is your life

01:07:16.160 look dude you got

01:07:16.880 hit by the train

01:07:17.540 you guys your time

01:07:18.680 to tell us

01:07:19.340 i just i don't

01:07:21.640 know if the

01:07:22.060 average person

01:07:22.940 would be able to

01:07:23.560 handle this and

01:07:24.260 walk away from it

01:07:25.960 you know normal

01:07:26.720 i remember when

01:07:27.820 they wheeled me

01:07:28.560 because i was in

01:07:29.100 a wheelchair

01:07:29.580 they wheeled me

01:07:30.720 into the psych

01:07:31.460 board and i'm

01:07:33.020 just like they're

01:07:34.120 trying they're

01:07:34.780 trying to see if

01:07:35.520 i'm like mentally

01:07:36.820 this that or

01:07:38.280 whatever yeah and

01:07:39.460 i'm like like i'm

01:07:40.540 not having this like

01:07:41.580 you know i was it

01:07:43.160 was a weird

01:07:43.780 experience but yeah

01:07:44.920 it didn't affect

01:07:46.400 me funny thing

01:07:47.900 is is when i'm

01:07:48.720 watching movies with

01:07:49.780 my friends and

01:07:50.800 there's a somebody

01:07:51.600 gets hit by a

01:07:52.460 train in the

01:07:53.820 movie everybody

01:07:55.240 looks to me

01:07:56.100 oh yeah

01:07:56.740 and i'm like i'm

01:08:00.780 like what guys

01:08:01.640 come on it's only

01:08:02.760 it's only a train

01:08:03.780 i beat that train

01:08:05.020 yeah it's one

01:08:05.880 train baby

01:08:06.880 yeah you fucking

01:08:08.840 want to come back

01:08:10.080 with something bigger

01:08:10.860 you know like yeah

01:08:11.900 that's what i'm

01:08:12.320 saying dude i want

01:08:13.000 to see a ufo

01:08:13.920 fucking land on

01:08:14.760 your back son

01:08:15.660 i'm ready for a

01:08:17.660 fucking blimp to

01:08:18.600 hit you dog i'm

01:08:19.420 afraid to take you

01:08:20.220 to the super

01:08:20.720 bowl

01:08:21.340 led zeppelin

01:08:22.500 yeah bro i think

01:08:23.900 anything's ready bro

01:08:24.960 you'll catch a

01:08:25.600 missile in your

01:08:26.220 mouth son you

01:08:26.960 can do whatever

01:08:27.520 you want

01:08:28.080 absolutely

01:08:29.320 it did make me

01:08:30.640 think of this just

01:08:31.380 a second ago you

01:08:32.300 were talking about

01:08:33.380 uh what did you

01:08:35.240 say just a second

01:08:35.800 ago before you

01:08:36.360 were talking about

01:08:36.720 your friends

01:08:37.180 the psych ward

01:08:37.700 they wheeled me

01:08:38.420 into the psych

01:08:39.100 ward

01:08:39.280 they tried to

01:08:39.780 make you crazy

01:08:40.580 yes

01:08:41.680 wow they tried to

01:08:42.920 think you was like

01:08:43.520 retarded or whatever

01:08:44.480 because you've been

01:08:45.200 hit by a train

01:08:45.880 absolutely you want

01:08:47.620 to hear something

01:08:48.180 else crazy too

01:08:49.340 yeah this was at

01:08:51.040 the beginning of the

01:08:52.040 whole opiate epidemic

01:08:53.940 right this nurse came

01:08:56.140 into the doctors or

01:08:57.920 into the hospital and

01:08:59.060 she's like we're going

01:09:00.420 to prescribe you

01:09:01.280 oxycontin and i was

01:09:03.500 like no no i smoke

01:09:05.740 marijuana for my pain

01:09:07.160 yeah and then she i'll

01:09:09.040 never forget this till

01:09:10.060 the day i die she's like

01:09:11.140 oxycontin is healthier

01:09:13.420 than marijuana

01:09:14.360 wow and i was just

01:09:15.960 like can i get a new

01:09:17.400 nurse this is this

01:09:18.920 woman is insane like

01:09:20.280 you know this is

01:09:21.780 yeah can i get this

01:09:22.800 bitch a train

01:09:23.620 somebody order this

01:09:24.960 bitch a train bro

01:09:26.280 because that's it's

01:09:29.360 unbelievable that

01:09:30.260 someone that any human

01:09:31.520 would think that

01:09:32.360 absolutely it was

01:09:34.360 insane they were

01:09:35.200 truly selling it like

01:09:36.860 it blew my mind

01:09:38.680 yeah wow

01:09:40.200 man well it's it's

01:09:43.020 funny you die i mean

01:09:43.920 that that's a fucking

01:09:44.820 that's a dirtier train

01:09:46.020 to dodge right there

01:09:47.080 man you died

01:09:47.660 absolutely

01:09:48.140 wow

01:09:49.540 well dude man i

01:09:51.680 love your attitude

01:09:52.660 man i'd love it if we

01:09:53.680 could check in with

01:09:54.480 you every now and

01:09:55.240 then and just kind of

01:09:55.980 see what's going on

01:09:57.100 um where do you live

01:09:59.080 at sure

01:09:59.500 um i live in uh like

01:10:02.400 around niagara falls

01:10:03.580 canada so like right

01:10:05.180 at the border basically

01:10:06.280 that's nice it's nice

01:10:08.020 up there

01:10:08.460 yeah it's nice uh

01:10:11.060 niagara falls one of

01:10:12.480 the seven wonders of

01:10:14.400 the world i'm i've seen

01:10:16.260 it so many times that

01:10:17.420 it's just normal to me

01:10:18.400 but can you drink off

01:10:19.800 it or you can't get

01:10:20.400 that close to it

01:10:21.460 pardon do i drink off

01:10:23.460 can you drink off of

01:10:24.520 it if you get close to

01:10:25.540 it or can you have to

01:10:26.260 stay far back

01:10:26.920 yeah you you can taste

01:10:28.280 it on your lips

01:10:29.060 definitely but you

01:10:30.680 couldn't you couldn't

01:10:31.340 get a full sip but

01:10:32.680 you get a half sip

01:10:33.800 that's fair i guess

01:10:36.040 um do you any of

01:10:38.280 your senses heightened

01:10:39.320 after getting hit by

01:10:40.180 that train anything

01:10:41.060 do you do you feel

01:10:42.140 like you have any

01:10:43.200 unique i don't want

01:10:45.220 to say powers but

01:10:46.520 that's what people are

01:10:47.680 going to say powers

01:10:48.600 okay do you have any

01:10:49.620 unique sense or any

01:10:51.200 sense any heightened

01:10:52.360 senses or slash powers

01:10:54.880 absolutely like i was

01:10:56.920 saying like um i feel

01:10:59.580 the weight of every day

01:11:01.440 a lot more like uh i was

01:11:04.580 reading this book and

01:11:05.880 there was soldier uh it

01:11:07.540 was about soldiers in

01:11:08.500 world war ii and uh they

01:11:13.180 were at the point where

01:11:14.760 they knew they were in a

01:11:16.500 situation where they knew

01:11:17.760 they were going to die

01:11:18.780 there was no if ands or

01:11:20.440 buts they know they're

01:11:22.120 going to die and because

01:11:23.920 of that every moment is

01:11:26.100 sweeter the next your next

01:11:27.900 meal means everything

01:11:29.280 your next kiss means

01:11:32.140 everything in the world

01:11:33.280 so and people like they

01:11:35.520 these soldiers almost

01:11:36.600 like that feeling of you

01:11:38.980 could die at any moment

01:11:40.120 and i don't i don't claim

01:11:41.960 to be like you know like

01:11:44.360 like a red dot on my head

01:11:46.700 like you know i'm gonna die

01:11:48.000 in this moment but i sort of

01:11:50.160 feel like i you know feel

01:11:52.060 the weight of life a lot

01:11:54.080 more you know yeah yeah

01:11:56.340 like there's just uh like

01:11:58.980 it's got a everything has

01:12:00.240 a lot stronger taste to it

01:12:01.720 every every moment

01:12:03.480 absolutely wow yeah man

01:12:07.240 you're out there baby that

01:12:08.220 little rail monkey dalton

01:12:09.820 yeah run it back two

01:12:12.800 trains baby look man i'm

01:12:15.860 proud of you dude and i'm

01:12:17.100 glad to meet you glad to

01:12:19.580 meet you too theo you know

01:12:21.220 you're an inspiration to

01:12:23.020 all of us creatives

01:12:25.000 especially because you're

01:12:27.460 a comedian and you know

01:12:29.780 you make you you're not

01:12:32.860 some glossy thing where

01:12:35.300 you you're a real person

01:12:39.660 and you show us all that we

01:12:42.280 can make it be in us you

01:12:44.100 know we don't have to be

01:12:46.600 this uh bigger than life

01:12:48.540 thing we could be us well

01:12:50.820 thanks man i appreciate

01:12:52.060 that yeah i'm just trying

01:12:53.180 yeah i'm just it's hard to

01:12:55.560 be anybody you know it's

01:12:58.340 hard to be yeah it's hard

01:12:59.860 to be it's a real challenge

01:13:01.320 it feels like sometimes and

01:13:02.760 um that's nice you to say

01:13:04.600 man i appreciate it uh and

01:13:07.060 yeah i think you do the same

01:13:09.180 man you make me feel like

01:13:10.360 hey it's okay if i only got

01:13:12.080 you know um you know if i'm

01:13:16.560 if i'm missing toes or i'm

01:13:17.900 growing a fucking uh sideburn

01:13:19.800 on my fucking foot baby let's

01:13:21.400 go

01:13:21.760 gotta get that manscaped

01:13:25.360 yeah

01:13:25.820 we'll have to set you up

01:13:28.220 i don't know if they make

01:13:30.720 anything to cover that bro

01:13:32.040 they're fucking missing out

01:13:33.000 you should sue them

01:13:33.940 thank you bro it's nice to

01:13:39.360 make your acquaintance and um

01:13:40.480 when we get up there to a

01:13:41.340 show man we'll have to have

01:13:42.200 you come out and uh so you

01:13:43.840 and i can get to meet in

01:13:44.720 person man absolutely i've

01:13:46.900 been waiting for you to

01:13:47.660 come to canada man yeah

01:13:49.720 we'll get up there soon my

01:13:50.680 tour manager is from uh

01:13:52.040 ontario london ontario

01:13:53.760 okay yeah that's i've been

01:13:56.020 there that's close so um

01:13:58.080 he'll get me up in that

01:13:59.200 area soon man but uh but

01:14:01.260 yeah we'll do something

01:14:01.820 nice and we'll send you one

01:14:02.620 of these bobbleheads dude

01:14:03.820 and get you out there and

01:14:04.760 get you some some items or

01:14:06.620 something that you want and

01:14:08.260 uh just thank you bro thank

01:14:09.940 you for sharing yourself with

01:14:10.980 us and um fuck yeah dude if

01:14:13.980 somebody can get hit by a

01:14:14.840 train and just keep on just

01:14:16.240 trucking then i can do that

01:14:18.100 today you know so thank you

01:14:19.300 dog love you theo love you

01:14:21.900 too man one love amen baby

01:14:23.900 you're a miracle thanks

01:14:25.060 dalton thank you a miracle

01:14:28.720 right there a miracle and we

01:14:32.720 got to listen to them and we

01:14:34.760 got to learn from them man i'm

01:14:38.560 grateful for that today it's a

01:14:42.060 real perspective switch you

01:14:43.460 know it's a real perspective

01:14:46.660 switch it makes my problem i

01:14:50.380 mean

01:14:50.560 my problems seem like micro

01:14:54.920 machines right there when you

01:14:58.100 got a fella that's just damn

01:14:59.460 that's just getting trained out

01:15:03.900 man grateful to be alive today

01:15:11.500 um grateful to exist on this

01:15:13.760 planet um working on staying in

01:15:17.380 gratitude myself you know uh still

01:15:20.480 battling some anger here and

01:15:21.900 there and um some i don't know if

01:15:26.700 it's ego or just you know thinking

01:15:29.660 things are supposed to be a

01:15:30.720 expectation you know i'd love to

01:15:34.720 not approach the day with a lot of

01:15:36.320 expectation

01:15:37.020 i'd love to just

01:15:40.820 sit there and watch god paint you

01:15:46.180 know

01:15:46.420 but usually i want to get up and i

01:15:50.520 want to open up this color and this

01:15:51.980 color and you know i'll see what he

01:15:53.980 does i'm only giving him four colors

01:15:55.700 you know

01:15:56.420 i'm giving him this brush i want

01:16:00.020 the wide bro i want the

01:16:01.000 instead of just sitting back and

01:16:03.500 saying all right

01:16:04.220 let me see what magic this big dog

01:16:10.160 is going to do with the canvas of my

01:16:14.620 life you know

01:16:15.380 what's he going to paint what's he

01:16:17.760 going to put out there

01:16:18.800 and just not to look for the end

01:16:23.860 product but to enjoy the uh the

01:16:26.960 colors along the way

01:16:28.100 um you guys be good to yourselves

01:16:32.660 man you deserve it you can hit the

01:16:33.800 hotline nine eight five six six four

01:16:35.460 nine five zero three i know we owe a

01:16:38.040 couple calls about some anger a

01:16:40.720 gentleman called in a while back

01:16:41.760 about anger he was dealing with and

01:16:43.260 i want to get some response calls for

01:16:44.760 him

01:16:45.040 didn't get to it today um but we will

01:16:48.720 in the future um thank you guys for

01:16:51.320 supporting my podcast and being a

01:16:52.840 part of my life

01:16:53.560 um yeah i think that's all we got

01:16:58.400 today

01:16:58.820 love y'all man gang

01:17:00.940 this is uh

01:17:08.320 whenever you're down

01:17:11.120 out in the cold

01:17:13.740 there is a light

01:17:14.940 by the stone keepers

01:17:18.940 david manuel

01:17:21.120 i love that hit but you know what man

01:17:45.320 that's not getting me all the way there

01:17:47.500 i'm gonna finish out the way we came

01:17:49.140 man baby

01:17:49.860 you know

01:17:51.180 i'm gonna come up

01:17:56.380 yeah

01:17:57.680 feels real good after i've been so blue

01:18:01.600 i'm gonna come up

01:18:04.840 i'm gonna come up

01:18:08.060 it feels so good to have a brand new view

01:18:12.860 oh yeah

01:18:14.740 you're in come up

01:18:16.100 well i just broke off with my baby

01:18:19.980 now i can finally get the love on you

01:18:24.020 i'm gonna come up

01:18:25.660 yeah i'm gonna come up

01:18:28.700 well i just moved up to lucky street when the mayor came and said to me you're on the

01:18:34.940 karma

01:18:36.740 you're on the karma

01:18:39.820 and it's plain to see between now you and me we got so much loving in chemistry

01:18:45.460 it's on the karma

01:18:48.420 it's on the karma

01:18:51.140 well good things keep on coming

01:18:53.500 and there ain't gonna be no running

01:18:56.320 no i'm gonna come up

01:18:58.660 i'm gonna come up

01:19:01.000 well i just got home and now i'm back

01:19:05.240 i got so many people asking where i'm at

01:19:07.960 i've been to tennessee and ohio

01:19:10.920 atascalosa women

01:19:13.060 no i'm gonna come up

01:19:14.860 ladies and gentlemen i'm jonathan kite and welcome to kite club a podcast where i'll be sharing thoughts on things like current events stand-up stories and seven ways to pleasure your partner the answer may shock you sometimes i'll interview my friends sometimes i won't and as always i'll be joined by the voices in my head you have three new voice messages a lot of people are talking about kite club i've been talking about kite club for so long longer than anybody

01:19:44.840 anybody else so great

01:19:46.160 hi

01:19:47.120 hi

01:19:47.140 hi

01:19:47.160 hi

01:19:47.600 hi

01:20:14.840 hi

01:20:19.280 hi

This Past Weekend with Theo Von - September 20, 2022

E409 Rail Baby

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