E409 Rail Baby
Episode Stats
Length
1 hour and 20 minutes
Words per Minute
155.01701
Hate Speech Sentences
116
Summary
Dalton, the rail monkey, is back on the phone and ready to talk to us about the crazy things he has been up to in his life and how he is keeping us up to date on what s going on in the world.
Transcript
00:00:03.480
Get a big cash purchase discount of up to $12,300
00:00:06.620
on the 2025 GMC Sierra 1500 and the 2025 Sierra HD.
00:00:13.160
With Sierra 1500's premium interior and advanced tech
00:00:16.360
or Sierra HD's impressive power and capability,
00:00:19.400
you'll have everything you need to get from work to play with confidence this season.
00:00:23.920
Hurry in. Employee pricing is on for a limited time.
00:00:39.360
I don't know where you are, but I'm happy to be here.
00:00:50.940
We haven't done a solo episode in a while, you know,
00:00:56.540
And just a lot of just beautiful information and intel to get into and just I mean,
00:01:07.080
I feel like in September today, we're back together.
00:01:13.000
You remember Dalton, that beautiful little rail monkey.
00:01:15.900
He got hit by that train a while back and he got trained out, baby.
00:01:24.760
We're going to have him on the line and talk to a real human miracle
00:01:28.260
and see what that's like to just get that close, baby.
00:01:32.980
I mean, just get on the damn fingertips of the Lord.
00:02:29.060
Well, I just moved up to Lurkey Street when the mayor came and said to me,
00:02:55.500
If you like to just set your damn ear kettles on that warmer, baby.
00:03:11.620
There's two ways to go, and I got to remind myself.
00:03:21.500
As we migrate into the future, we are just, I mean, damn, we're just like a worm.
00:03:27.640
Just eat, just, you know, worms just eat the dirt.
00:03:33.180
A lot of people are like, well, how does the dirt get from the front of the worm to the back of the worm?
00:03:37.660
The worm eats the dirt and duties the dirt through the back.
00:03:54.960
We're cruisin', cruisin' through time together out here.
00:04:05.620
Hell, you put your ear up to the, you put your ear up to the future.
00:04:12.600
You could hear the, you know, you put your ear up to the wind.
00:04:15.780
You could hear the damn trick-or-treaters getting ready.
00:04:19.420
You could hear somebody, you know, dusting off a damn Dracula mask.
00:04:24.240
You could hear somebody whipping up a pot of fake blood, baby.
00:04:37.080
That's, that's pretty crazy when you think about it.
00:04:40.960
All summer and all spring, the trees are like, oh, I'm wearing this.
00:04:48.520
All them bitches out there in the damn wood orgy.
00:05:05.800
You know, I really, I do enjoy this time of year.
00:05:09.520
There's that week where it's like still hot and then, bam.
00:05:12.760
Now, surprise, you wake up one morning and you feel winter just, you know, because autumn is just winter's little fucking puppy.
00:05:27.160
That's just winter taking a damn little dog for a walk.
00:05:33.380
Autumn, autumn lasts a half hour in some places.
00:05:50.960
What's the top of the country called to the whole globe?
00:06:00.760
you go to antarctica baby that's fall lasts about nine minutes up in that bastard that's a
00:06:06.560
you know damn you can't even finish your coffee son and winter's there boy that thing will eat
00:06:12.200
your ass bro that thing will eat your ass with nine knuckles baby um what's happening a lot's
00:06:20.500
been going on uh we haven't done a solo episode in a while um we're out here in the central east
00:06:28.680
uh we have uh we've had an exciting run of guests recently we just had um
00:06:38.000
uh tony canaan on and he is a indie car driver and he's from brazil and uh got to go riding out with
00:06:47.700
mario andretti he took me for a scoot out in a in one of his damn little bus buggies baby we were
00:06:54.760
out there we hit about i think 200 something miles an hour i mean i could fucking i could taste the
00:07:03.100
the enamel in the back of my throat that i'm from my own teeth bro that shit really that shit will
00:07:08.900
clear your sinuses bro high speed um what else we got to we went down joe rogan came on the podcast
00:07:17.140
if you didn't hear that episode that was pretty cool that was really pretty cool man he uh he had
00:07:23.000
texted me and and invited me to go on his show and i was like yeah thanks i'd love to come and then
00:07:31.040
i was like well i know i got a space on mine that week i said and i was kind of nervous to text but i
00:07:35.980
was like uh maybe you you should we'd love to have you on ours and um and so that was exciting
00:07:42.620
uh got to go and do that bobby lee came on that beautiful little unagi bro that little uh
00:07:54.460
that little vietnam survivor you know and sometimes boy i fucking just
00:08:01.560
that little ponzu little muppet sometimes i just want man i'll take that dude i'll drop him off at
00:08:09.320
every damn vfw in america and let some old boys in there finish up on him you know what i'm talking
00:08:14.940
about iwo jima daddy praise god brother um what else has been happening with me
00:08:24.380
uh oh we got to shoot shoot a film we shot a a movie or a film film movie film movie
00:08:35.100
uh we shot we shot that that was interesting you know at first i didn't really want to do it um
00:08:44.300
because it's a lot of time it's just a lot of time and i don't like giving up my time honestly
00:08:54.720
it's a pretty selfish way to be it's nice so sometimes you have to do it
00:09:01.360
but i don't like uh sometimes i i just want to keep i kind of you know i want to keep my time to
00:09:08.240
myself you know i'll keep my time all in like a little you know i'm that little second santa i got
00:09:15.880
all my seconds in a bag on my back baby and i might you know you know take that satchel off and get a
00:09:22.880
minute out to somebody give seven eight minutes to a little dime a little dame a little beauty over
00:09:29.260
there maybe give you know four or five minutes to your boy over there but otherwise i like to keep
00:09:36.260
my time to myself man so for me that was a new experience just saying okay i don't know what
00:09:42.860
this is going to be like i'm going to commit to doing it uh and so and i was glad that i did man we
00:09:50.300
we just had a nice time um i got to do like this kind of like not fighting scene but it was like
00:09:57.900
this kind of like like wrestling kind of scene with johnny knoxville and uh and that was you know
00:10:06.580
i thought it would be all i'm thinking like all right how do i look like angry but i'm i'm
00:10:11.960
fighting or i'm you know you know do i make like a face and i'm just thinking of all this like
00:10:18.180
what will i do you know will i you know do i have to be real angry do i need to you know call
00:10:24.720
somebody and you know call them a bitch or something first or will i just feel angry like
00:10:29.800
how will i make it all work and we got there and it just everything rolled out pretty cool
00:10:35.920
you know i didn't i didn't uh i didn't overanalyze it too much just did it and bobby lee was there so
00:10:47.920
that made it a lot of fun just getting to be around him every day because he's um newly single
00:10:54.340
you know we saw he him and his lady you know they went their separate ways and so he's you know
00:11:02.300
i mean he's most of the day he's on the just hunting leg on the uh phone and internet i mean damn
00:11:13.000
that dude he had people he he had put some calling out on his social media on his podcast for
00:11:20.420
you know i guess women to send him pictures of tits and you know cooter or whatever booty booty
00:11:27.980
cooter all of it i don't even know um and damn men were sending him stuff and so he didn't know
00:11:34.740
until each time he click on the picture and sometimes it's a damn you know that you know
00:11:38.800
it'd just be one long tit you know with some nuts on it like damn bro that's a damn g cup that thing
00:11:46.800
that thing's a that's a unique looking tit because he was getting sent everything um but that was a
00:11:55.000
nice experience i'm glad that i did it um and what else man we went oh i went and visited my brother
00:12:03.480
out there in utah and it was in southern utah right by mount zion park and it is i mean it's
00:12:13.560
it is beautiful man it's like mother nature's um you know uh
00:12:21.320
whatever it's called strip club i mean if she got her finest everything it just every mount every
00:12:29.700
mountain hill every little thing it's just damn it's fine as hell bro you know you just want to
00:12:37.940
suck your own nuts bro it's just it's just that kind of place mount zion if you get a chance to go
00:12:43.000
there um and my brother had moved out there he lives in springville or springdale right outside
00:12:51.580
of the park or rockville and he'd um we had some fresh raccoon he shot a couple uh coons out there
00:12:59.180
and so we had uh some fresh raccoon squirrel dove and i'd eaten dove before
00:13:07.500
um you know when i was young i had a couple brothers that live by the apartments and they
00:13:13.680
grilled up a couple doves one time for mother's day and i had some of that with them
00:13:20.320
what else uh what else did we do yeah that's just kind of what's been going on i'll just thank you
00:13:30.160
guys for staying supportive of the cast and keeping um and keeping things going um i still got my sober
00:13:37.420
days going right now i have let me see feeling pretty good look on my little app i have 156 days
00:13:48.220
so that's been nice uh to just you know feel a part of something um
00:13:56.240
yeah and it's been interesting man and going to those meetings and stuff you know uh
00:14:11.680
when other people speak real real honestly about themselves about what's going on with them
00:14:21.300
it allows me to think honestly about what's going on with me it's like sometimes i can't really
00:14:29.200
it's hard for me to get a clear perception of myself um or to think really like real clearly
00:14:38.000
unless there's but sometimes in the recovery meetings some if somebody's sharing real honestly
00:14:43.680
about what's going on with them then i can i don't know my brain just feels or my emotions just feel
00:14:51.660
safe to like give me like a real insight into what's going on with me so a lot of times real nice to go to
00:14:59.080
those meetings and just listen you know and just hear and it's funny because sometimes people will put
00:15:05.240
into words what i could i can never it's like i'll have little pieces of of what i'm trying to feel
00:15:11.920
but i can't get the mosaic right you know i can't get the i can't get it to really jangle up
00:15:19.900
and then somebody else will they'll say it and they'll have just i mean they put all my pieces
00:15:25.600
together it's like oh man thank you so much i've just had these pieces you know
00:15:30.980
um so that's one thing that i really love about the meetings um what else i want you guys to hit
00:15:39.060
the hotline and just i want to know who's listening to this show um just tell me what you do it doesn't
00:15:44.520
have to be really long you know um this is ricky and i work at a uh you know i work at a build a bear
00:15:53.420
you know i'm a associate or you know i'm a uh fur handler whatever it is do it you know and just
00:16:00.740
hit the hotline leave that we just i'd love to know who's um who's listening um i feel nervous i
00:16:08.480
haven't done this kind of like a solo episode in a while so i don't know why i feel nervous about it
00:16:15.580
but uh that's okay it also could be excitement sometimes nerve excitement like hot like it's
00:16:24.760
we think it's nerves but it's just like it's just excitement you know i think we get we
00:16:32.540
immediately sometimes or i immediately sometimes we'll say i'm it's anxiety but fuck i might just
00:16:37.560
be a little psyched up about it you know it's been a while it's been a while since i've gotten to sit
00:16:43.180
here and uh and be in this seat and and um and be a part of this program so i'm grateful for that
00:16:51.540
all right let's get into a little bit of news here we got some news that has come in um
00:17:00.120
i thought this was pretty fascinating florida governor defends migrant flights to martha's vineyard
00:17:07.040
suggests more to come so here's what happened is uh desantis who is a governor in florida
00:17:15.620
and i always think it's interesting how like if somebody there's a problem somewhere people don't
00:17:21.340
know about it elsewhere but they'll have an idea about it they'll be like oh well this is what they
00:17:26.740
should do this is what they should do but you until it's right there with you then it then suddenly
00:17:32.660
it's you get a real concept of what the issues are so that's why i think this is pretty fascinating i
00:17:40.060
mean it's definitely a little bit get a little bit gangster to be using humans and shifting them
00:17:44.520
around um but it's interesting now that it's suddenly a martha's vineyard you just imagine just you
00:17:54.280
know 50 low-key just loked out fucking uh uh visitors just hanging out that's the part to me
00:18:03.220
that see because i love anything that bothers fucking rich people i love that shit if you could
00:18:08.320
bother the rich man if you could fucking tickle the rich with dirty fingernails bitch i love that shit
00:18:14.100
so i think anytime you can drop off a couple of essays um up in martha's vineyard baby let's do it
00:18:22.060
that's what i'm saying you know you got ms 13 suddenly you got mv 13 maybe you got martha's
00:18:28.820
vineyard 13 baby you know that's when shit's gonna get weird so yeah i just because then people get to
00:18:38.160
see what what issues are like um we had a border patrol agent on here at one point i remember
00:18:44.180
and he was in charge of the arizona border uh for a long time i can't remember how long maybe 17 years
00:18:54.180
and he was saying one of the biggest problems on the border was that people were coming over good
00:18:58.800
people and bad people were coming over and they weren't prosecuted like even if they arrested the
00:19:05.720
people like two weeks later they were coming right back because there was no like legislation happening
00:19:11.860
where they were actually like the executive branch wasn't prosecuting them and you don't until you
00:19:17.040
talk to somebody who's from there you don't really have a good idea of what's going on um so that's
00:19:23.100
why i like this i wish there was like buses of different problems from different areas that were
00:19:29.120
just kind of cruising around the country and they drop somebody else's problem off in your area for a
00:19:34.540
while and then they take your problems and drop them off of an air then they take um you know like in
00:19:41.380
maybe they got beached whales or something issue and then they drop them bitches off in idaho and
00:19:46.920
they're like damn bro you know and i just think it would be interesting if different buses were just
00:19:53.320
just like oh shit here come this fucking trouble bus and you see whose problem it is today you know like
00:19:59.960
damn they got uh you know um like women aren't shaving under their arms in oregon or whatever or in like
00:20:10.380
man you know somewhere and then them bitches get out you're like dang bro i didn't know it was like
00:20:16.840
that so i think it would be interesting if there was a whole system of this going on so that's something
00:20:23.360
that i think i would like to see in the future is just like a whole kind of uh different issues from
00:20:28.920
different areas kind of cruising around that way everybody could get a little bit of a taste
00:20:32.680
and see because then when you vote on a national level and you have an idea of your whole country
00:20:38.780
you get like a real idea of what real of what people's issues are
00:20:47.540
you know and for me a lot of that stems people talk about racism all the time and um
00:20:54.520
and they're like what you know i'll hear people like in california talk about like the south uh
00:21:02.520
but they they they're not they didn't they didn't grow up in the south they don't understand some
00:21:06.740
of the intricacies and like the boots on the ground um every day uh
00:21:13.400
existence of living in a place that's had a lot of racism
00:21:18.660
um or black and white racism maybe and so i think sometimes that's crazy to me it's like well
00:21:27.100
but you don't know you don't live you don't have an understanding you know you may have like a vision
00:21:31.940
of it and information but until you get that understanding so i like that man maybe it says
00:21:38.380
some understanding buses that's not it it's not like a problem bus it's like okay here comes some
00:21:43.300
understanding buses we're about to understand this shit you know and then it drops off and it's
00:21:49.000
like a surprise you're like oh fuck man uh so i don't know i think that that could be pretty
00:21:55.020
interesting mint mobile if you don't know about it you may want to learn it's a good way to save
00:22:01.980
money offering premium wireless starting at just 15 a month and now for the plot twist nope
00:22:09.160
there isn't one mint mobile just has premium wireless for 15 bucks a month no trapping you
00:22:17.160
into a two-year contract or opening the bill to find all these crazy fees none of that if you hate
00:22:22.960
your phone bill mint mobile gives you the best rate whether that you're buying for one or a family
00:22:29.360
and at mint families start at two lines use your own phone with any mint mobile plan
00:22:36.820
all plans come with unlimited talk and text and high-speed data delivered on the nation's largest
00:22:42.080
5g network get premium wireless for just 15 bucks a month and no unexpected plot twists
00:22:49.300
at mintmobile.com slash t-h-e-o that's mintmobile.com slash theo seriously you'll make your wallet very
00:22:58.660
happy at mintmobile.com slash theo you know the best time to prepare for growth is before the
00:23:06.180
opportunity arises that's what ship station is here to help with you know i set up with ship
00:23:12.800
station uh before things got too busy so that orders could get out correctly and merchandise
00:23:19.740
could get to people no more limiting your business to just one store ship station integrates with every
00:23:26.880
platform including amazon etsy ebay shopify etc making it easy to manage all your shipping from one
00:23:34.140
simple dashboard save time with consolidated order management and automated shipping updates for
00:23:41.340
your customers they do it all ship station you can compare carriers rates and delivery times to get
00:23:48.300
the most out of every send yep 98 98 percent of companies that use ship station for one year become
00:23:55.720
customers for life it's worth trying go to ship station dot com today and sign up with the promo code theo
00:24:03.620
for a free 60-day trial start today and get set up before the biggest shipping season of the year
00:24:11.040
that's two months free visit ship station dot com click the microphone at the top and type in code theo
00:24:19.140
ship station make ship happen a little more news here um the uh female orgasm that gasm baby
00:24:30.440
that uh that betty bust you know what i'm talking about um says female emission at orgasm
00:24:39.700
you know these are talking about women this uh those gunners baby you know them ejaculate or some women
00:24:47.280
they'll damn you know i'm saying they could really uh they really you know they got that that freaking uh
00:24:56.400
they got that that cooter gleek you know what i'm talking about these women are squirters they call
00:25:02.940
them gunners i don't like using that kind of language but they're real gunners baby you know what
00:25:06.920
i'm saying they'll damn uh they got that bidet just built into their but you know but dussey you
00:25:14.380
know what i'm talking about they just um you know the damn they could wash off the back of a moth
00:25:21.260
at probably fucking eight feet but the female emission at orgasm uh is confirmed in a new study
00:25:29.520
that uh the fluid that is released is from the bladder there's long been a lot of
00:25:36.640
chatter over the years um that it was you know female you know they had like a special
00:25:42.320
you know you know semen pocket in them or something i don't know but uh or that it was
00:25:49.620
tears like a lot of women you know have a lot of tears built up in them and then they just gun out
00:25:54.040
all these tears at you but a lot of us knew that it was urine i mean it was urine and so there's a
00:26:02.440
new study that was done if you haven't heard about this and this is uh the international journal of
00:26:09.140
urology um it says five women two in their 30s two in their 40s and one in their 50s dang baby
00:26:18.600
dang grandma got that super soca they participated in this study all women were able to uh squirt they
00:26:31.180
was these gunners and three of them gunned out uh with sexual stimulation and two of them with
00:26:40.340
penetrative sexual stimulation so one of them was just kind of reading the braille or two of them
00:26:45.740
were just reading the braille and the other one was and the other three were using the pencil
00:26:50.380
um and what they did was they injected the women with a blue dye into their bladders
00:26:56.560
so they they could tell what what was what oh they drained them first it says
00:27:01.320
um a catheter was inserted before sexual stimulation and the bladder was empty
00:27:07.120
so they drained these babes and then a mixture of indigo and saline was injected into the bladder
00:27:21.060
and it was videotaped and verified some perv out there running this deal
00:27:25.960
and uh the secretions were collected in sterile cups
00:27:30.700
and it was found the main component of uh squirt fluid
00:27:36.060
is urine urine so there you go we knew it was uh piss i say piss
00:27:46.220
uh we knew it was piss and it is if you didn't think it was piss i think you're a real creep you
00:27:58.640
yeah that's what women have been doing they've been pissing
00:28:02.940
uh secret that's really a secret it's a tops you know it's a real it's that backup bladder though damn
00:28:10.800
when you got that that thing really somebody can water a plant you know or just dampen a
00:28:19.260
i knew this one gal she could dampen probably an eighth of a loaf of pepperage farm bro this bitch really had that
00:28:42.780
over there they got beautiful broads and horses
00:29:47.220
you don't think about it as being that dangerous
00:30:05.320
that thing doesn't really have much of a conscience on it
00:30:13.140
so i'm sure you're cruising on the back of that thing
00:31:43.420
i remember we used to invite this one kid over to play uh to play at the house
00:31:47.960
and me and my buddy we would call him and invite him to live across the street
00:31:51.720
but then we'd get up on the roof with a couple pellet guns
00:31:59.600
and he he already had this little fella had some uh
00:32:09.040
so part of him was little and part of him was big
00:32:27.280
so i'm not shocked that roofing gets real real dangerous overall
00:59:50.040
and that's one thing that i really did admire about you man
01:00:11.260
if somebody could go through a near-death experience
01:18:28.700
well i just moved up to lucky street when the mayor came and said to me you're on the
01:18:39.820
and it's plain to see between now you and me we got so much loving in chemistry
01:19:14.860
ladies and gentlemen i'm jonathan kite and welcome to kite club a podcast where i'll be sharing thoughts on things like current events stand-up stories and seven ways to pleasure your partner the answer may shock you sometimes i'll interview my friends sometimes i won't and as always i'll be joined by the voices in my head you have three new voice messages a lot of people are talking about kite club i've been talking about kite club for so long longer than anybody