This Past Weekend with Theo Von - E423 Merry Lloyd Christmas

00:00:00.000 We hope you're enjoying your Air Canada flight.

00:00:02.300 Rocky's vacation, here we come.

00:00:05.060 Whoa, is this economy?

00:00:07.180 Free beer, wine, and snacks.

00:00:09.620 Sweet! 0.95

00:00:10.720 Fast-free Wi-Fi means I can make dinner reservations before we land.

00:00:14.760 And with live TV, I'm not missing the game.

00:00:17.800 It's kind of like, I'm already on vacation.

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00:00:28.560 See AirCanada.com.

00:00:30.380 Blue Chew.

00:00:31.660 Gotta let you know about it. 0.98

00:00:33.680 Blue Chew, baby, when it's time for sex, you get that edible. 0.70

00:00:37.160 Get that appetizer, baby. 0.88

00:00:39.500 You know what I'm saying?

00:00:40.580 Get that little, uh, that nugget.

00:00:42.860 That Azul Nuget, baby. 0.56

00:00:44.800 That blue nugget.

00:00:46.420 That Blue Chew.

00:00:47.860 Blue Chew is a unique online service that delivers the same active ingredients

00:00:51.960 as Viagra and Cialis,

00:00:55.040 but in chewable form,

00:00:57.120 and at a fraction of the cost, man, baby.

00:01:00.000 I pop one of these little danger,

00:01:01.780 these little danger pebbles,

00:01:03.620 and I get in, I get, I get,

00:01:05.680 I mean, I don't have a date or anything,

00:01:07.120 but I, it works.

00:01:08.760 Uh, and here is a special, guys.

00:01:10.840 I want to tell you about it.

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00:01:23.120 I'm telling you this,

00:01:23.980 if you got a husband or,

00:01:26.220 hell, if you got a wife that, 1.00

00:01:27.600 that, you know,

00:01:28.820 she's wildin', you know,

00:01:30.100 but if you got a husband that, 0.88

00:01:31.520 uh, that has a wiener,

00:01:33.020 and, um,

00:01:35.180 and you think he might be able to use that perk every now and then

00:01:37.660 and get him that perk pebble, baby. 0.99

00:01:39.560 You know what I'm saying?

00:01:40.600 It's a great gift.

00:01:42.560 All right.

00:01:43.720 Merry Christmas.

00:01:48.360 Merry Christmas to you.

00:01:52.140 Merry,

00:01:53.100 Merry Christmas.

00:01:54.980 Lloyd Christmas, too. 1.00

00:01:56.100 Damn. 0.99

00:01:57.200 I've had a Merry Christmas, 1.00

00:01:58.520 and then I've had, 0.99

00:01:59.040 I've had a damn Lloyd Christmas, 0.98

00:02:01.060 you know, 0.99

00:02:02.120 where you chip your tooth,

00:02:03.380 and,

00:02:04.540 you know,

00:02:05.760 you end up 1.00

00:02:06.580 just damn looking for your own asshole all day. 1.00

00:02:10.820 And that's a toughie. 1.00

00:02:16.080 That's a toughie, baby.

00:02:17.800 When you find yourself, 1.00

00:02:18.940 you hide on the trail of your own asshole. 1.00

00:02:21.240 That's, 1.00

00:02:22.120 you know,

00:02:25.460 that's,

00:02:25.840 that's not good.

00:02:27.180 That's not good.

00:02:29.320 I've had that Merry Christmas,

00:02:30.980 and I've had that Lloyd Christmas.

00:02:33.940 You know,

00:02:34.540 I've had,

00:02:35.300 I've had it just

00:02:36.940 fa-la-la-la-la, 0.89

00:02:39.180 you know,

00:02:39.660 where you and your cousin 1.00

00:02:41.300 just sitting on the damn porch steps, 1.00

00:02:44.020 just eating, 1.00

00:02:44.640 just,

00:02:44.960 just feeding each other manicotti.

00:02:48.460 You know, 1.00

00:02:49.020 I've had that shit 0.99

00:02:50.160 where somebody come by, 0.99

00:02:52.320 drive up by the house,

00:02:54.120 give you a little sip out of their smoothie cup.

00:02:57.740 And they're not even a pedophile,

00:02:59.420 they're just a, 0.99

00:03:00.060 just a damn good Samaritan 1.00

00:03:02.380 with a blender. 0.99

00:03:05.200 You know,

00:03:05.660 I've had,

00:03:06.040 I've had those kind of days,

00:03:07.320 those kind of holidays.

00:03:09.660 You know,

00:03:10.620 where,

00:03:10.820 you know,

00:03:12.280 where some hottie 1.00

00:03:13.160 watch,

00:03:13.440 let you,

00:03:13.800 you know,

00:03:15.080 let you watch her breastfeed a little. 0.99

00:03:17.220 Not for a long time,

00:03:18.740 just enough,

00:03:19.400 you know,

00:03:20.280 where you play that song,

00:03:22.400 um,

00:03:24.200 hallelujah.

00:03:25.460 Just one play,

00:03:26.380 you know,

00:03:26.640 because it's almost biblical.

00:03:28.760 You watch that.

00:03:30.980 You watch a baby getting

00:03:32.560 titted out

00:03:34.340 and you listen in a hallelujah,

00:03:36.720 you know,

00:03:36.960 where,

00:03:37.280 uh,

00:03:38.320 oh,

00:03:39.160 bless ye,

00:03:40.080 merry gentlemen.

00:03:43.260 You know,

00:03:43.980 that,

00:03:44.180 that,

00:03:44.360 oh,

00:03:44.660 oh,

00:03:45.560 Christ,

00:03:46.560 the Savior is born.

00:03:50.120 Oh, 1.00

00:03:50.320 you listen to that bitch 1.00

00:03:52.720 and you watch somebody breastfeed, 1.00

00:03:54.300 you know,

00:03:56.180 that's,

00:03:56.620 there's something very

00:03:57.860 Christmassy about it.

00:03:59.980 Now you follow that lady 0.96

00:04:02.920 and the child

00:04:03.440 back to the car,

00:04:04.380 back to the room

00:04:05.200 or whatever,

00:04:05.560 that's,

00:04:06.620 you know,

00:04:07.840 that's not in the Bible

00:04:08.940 because that's,

00:04:10.960 you know,

00:04:11.440 you write in your own chapters

00:04:12.620 at that point

00:04:13.240 and you're going to probably end up,

00:04:14.700 you know,

00:04:15.580 you're going to end up in jail

00:04:16.540 or doing,

00:04:16.920 you know,

00:04:18.080 on house arrest

00:04:20.200 or something.

00:04:20.780 But,

00:04:21.240 um,

00:04:21.920 what was I talking about?

00:04:22.900 Merry Christmas to you.

00:04:24.880 Happy holidays.

00:04:25.880 I've had that Merry Christmas

00:04:27.000 and I've had that Lloyd Christmas.

00:04:29.980 you know,

00:04:31.520 I remember one time

00:04:32.500 we got,

00:04:33.940 uh,

00:04:34.840 you know,

00:04:35.680 I used to go drink lean

00:04:36.800 over there.

00:04:37.200 My buddy

00:04:37.740 was a

00:04:39.760 manager

00:04:41.800 at a Chuck E. Cheese.

00:04:45.660 You know,

00:04:46.280 he was a manager

00:04:47.000 over there

00:04:47.480 at a,

00:04:48.160 at a Chuck E. Cheese,

00:04:50.200 baby.

00:04:51.160 And

00:04:51.560 we'd go over there.

00:04:53.300 Sometimes,

00:04:53.540 I would go over there

00:04:54.720 sometimes after his shift

00:04:55.940 and we'd drink

00:04:57.600 a little bit of lean

00:04:58.380 over there.

00:04:59.980 You know,

00:05:00.720 just lean with,

00:05:01.640 just,

00:05:02.300 we'd get leaned up. 0.99

00:05:04.000 Damn, 1.00

00:05:04.380 I was fucking veal, 1.00

00:05:05.620 bruh. 0.99

00:05:06.900 I'd have so much lean, 0.97

00:05:08.080 I was just damn, 0.96

00:05:09.340 whew, 0.99

00:05:10.360 you'd cut me

00:05:11.060 into some medallions,

00:05:12.320 baby,

00:05:12.560 and sell me.

00:05:13.200 I was vealed out.

00:05:14.120 I was lean.

00:05:17.440 And he would turn the band,

00:05:18.880 you know,

00:05:19.180 he had control of the,

00:05:20.200 uh,

00:05:20.540 Chuck E. Cheese band

00:05:21.540 that played on stage. 1.00

00:05:22.780 And he'd turn that bitch 1.00

00:05:25.020 up to damn 11, 1.00

00:05:26.160 bruh. 0.99

00:05:27.400 And we'd watch him play

00:05:28.840 just as,

00:05:29.580 you know, 0.99

00:05:30.580 we'd watch him bitches play. 1.00

00:05:36.500 I mean, 0.99

00:05:36.820 he could,

00:05:37.140 we could do,

00:05:37.720 um,

00:05:40.080 free bird in about

00:05:41.080 a little over three minutes,

00:05:42.300 dude.

00:05:44.120 He'd watch,

00:05:44.800 I mean, 1.00

00:05:45.000 them bitches would play 1.00

00:05:45.840 fast as they could, 1.00

00:05:47.040 bruh.

00:05:47.320 Fast,

00:05:47.600 they do.

00:05:48.100 We'd watch him free,

00:05:49.180 but I mean,

00:05:49.560 just,

00:05:50.380 you know,

00:05:52.060 we'd, 1.00

00:05:52.300 we'd play till the damn chef, 0.99

00:05:53.900 that whatever the chef, 1.00

00:05:54.780 his name is,

00:05:55.360 Benny or something.

00:05:56.220 Let me see.

00:05:57.380 Who's in the band?

00:05:58.560 Chuck E.

00:06:00.440 Cheese band members.

00:06:03.580 This,

00:06:03.940 oh,

00:06:05.420 uh,

00:06:06.400 whoever,

00:06:06.860 oh yeah,

00:06:07.740 Pascali,

00:06:08.820 the drummer,

00:06:09.480 he was the chef.

00:06:10.960 And we'd play,

00:06:11.780 one time he,

00:06:12.360 we'd put,

00:06:13.080 you know,

00:06:13.720 he crying,

00:06:14.200 he had it playing so fast, 1.00

00:06:16.080 the fuck, 1.00

00:06:16.420 the chef arm came off 1.00

00:06:17.500 that bitch, 1.00

00:06:18.140 son. 1.00

00:06:21.400 But that was a,

00:06:22.580 that was a Merry Christmas,

00:06:24.360 man.

00:06:25.780 You know,

00:06:26.320 when you so get,

00:06:27.160 you know,

00:06:28.180 you so,

00:06:29.020 you amped up so much, 1.00

00:06:30.500 the damn, 1.00

00:06:31.460 you over there in the band, 1.00

00:06:32.700 you know,

00:06:33.160 the Chuck E. Cheese band

00:06:34.320 is playing for just you

00:06:35.320 and a friend.

00:06:37.560 And you're sitting there

00:06:38.580 just sharing problems

00:06:39.580 and sharing joy.

00:06:42.020 You know,

00:06:42.560 in a strip mall over there.

00:06:47.500 And it's a little,

00:06:48.660 I will admit,

00:06:49.220 it's mildly,

00:06:50.040 there's a homoeroticness

00:06:51.420 to it,

00:06:51.740 I think,

00:06:52.060 if you go there.

00:06:53.880 But if you don't,

00:06:54.980 it's just good men

00:06:55.940 being good men.

00:06:59.140 But,

00:06:59.640 uh,

00:07:00.260 man,

00:07:01.800 the world's so fast now,

00:07:03.120 isn't it? 0.97

00:07:05.520 The world is so damn, 0.95

00:07:07.100 it's so dang fast. 0.95

00:07:10.560 Everything's just,

00:07:11.460 how fast can it go?

00:07:13.800 The speeds,

00:07:14.860 the gigabytes,

00:07:16.340 the modem,

00:07:17.280 the text,

00:07:17.820 the Wi-Fi,

00:07:18.460 the airdrop.

00:07:22.460 You know,

00:07:22.980 I remember back,

00:07:23.660 back in the day,

00:07:24.480 you had to run a note.

00:07:25.660 If you wanted to know something,

00:07:27.720 you had to run a note.

00:07:31.840 Now they got direct message.

00:07:33.420 Man,

00:07:33.520 you could send the Pope

00:07:34.600 a direct message.

00:07:38.180 I've done it.

00:07:39.020 I'll be honest.

00:07:40.820 Middle of the night,

00:07:41.860 bruh.

00:07:43.700 Just hit the Pope up,

00:07:45.020 where the hoes at? 1.00

00:07:47.080 You know?

00:07:49.460 And yeah,

00:07:50.100 I shouldn't do it,

00:07:51.000 but,

00:07:52.660 you know,

00:07:54.520 it's,

00:07:55.720 things happen.

00:07:57.200 Um,

00:07:57.760 what are we talking about?

00:07:58.640 Sorry.

00:07:59.560 Merry Christmas,

00:08:00.700 guys.

00:08:01.160 That's what I'm telling you.

00:08:03.260 Um,

00:08:04.140 but yeah,

00:08:06.180 things go so fast.

00:08:08.280 Things go so fast,

00:08:09.340 you gotta make a moment.

00:08:10.360 If you want a moment now,

00:08:11.640 you gotta make a moment.

00:08:12.940 you gotta make a moment.

00:08:17.020 That's what I'm noticing.

00:08:22.100 You know,

00:08:22.660 I noticed some of my friendships,

00:08:24.160 some of my relationships,

00:08:25.040 they just,

00:08:26.460 they just,

00:08:27.660 you know,

00:08:28.800 we'll make a plan.

00:08:31.080 You know,

00:08:31.240 I've had instances

00:08:32.040 where I've made a plan

00:08:32.960 to go do something,

00:08:33.700 and I go do it,

00:08:34.360 but I don't make it a moment,

00:08:35.700 you know?

00:08:41.740 You know,

00:08:42.200 I might spend time

00:08:43.020 with a young lady,

00:08:44.960 and I don't make,

00:08:46.040 I don't,

00:08:46.300 you know,

00:08:46.700 I don't make it a moment.

00:08:48.660 I'm there,

00:08:49.360 and I'm kind of checked in,

00:08:51.600 I'm partly,

00:08:51.900 you know,

00:08:51.980 I'm on my phone,

00:08:52.700 maybe I'll,

00:08:53.520 but I'm there,

00:08:54.080 but it's like,

00:08:54.600 I don't,

00:08:54.840 I don't say,

00:08:55.380 hey,

00:08:55.440 I'm gonna make this a moment. 0.99

00:09:00.060 I'm gonna put some damn, 0.98

00:09:04.300 I'm gonna kick the clock 0.99

00:09:05.460 right in the nuts right now. 0.96

00:09:07.460 You know,

00:09:11.180 instead,

00:09:11.620 I'll just go

00:09:12.240 with the flow of time.

00:09:16.300 But I've been thinking

00:09:17.180 about that,

00:09:17.680 about if I want there

00:09:18.680 to be moments in my life,

00:09:20.220 I gotta make a moment.

00:09:23.060 I gotta make them.

00:09:30.540 And I find for myself,

00:09:31.740 I want everything

00:09:32.780 to be perfect

00:09:33.460 before something happens.

00:09:35.340 That's how I am.

00:09:37.460 I want everything to be,

00:09:38.880 look,

00:09:39.260 as soon as everything

00:09:40.280 gets all lined up,

00:09:42.760 gets all perfect,

00:09:43.700 then this will happen.

00:09:49.060 And by doing that,

00:09:50.220 I'm not really giving,

00:09:52.680 I'm not really giving

00:09:55.760 the Lord a chance

00:09:56.860 to tickle me.

00:09:57.720 You know,

00:09:57.800 I'm not really giving,

00:09:59.120 stay with me.

00:10:01.060 I'm not,

00:10:01.940 by saying,

00:10:03.880 okay,

00:10:04.180 I'm not,

00:10:04.520 when,

00:10:05.000 as soon as this,

00:10:06.040 then this.

00:10:07.160 And then this.

00:10:09.480 You know,

00:10:10.480 as soon as I get

00:10:11.260 my slippers on,

00:10:13.460 my feet will be warm,

00:10:16.040 I'm gonna go to Daddy's,

00:10:17.800 I'm gonna make a pot pie.

00:10:20.500 You know,

00:10:20.880 but only,

00:10:21.900 I ain't having no pot pie

00:10:23.580 till I do the other thing,

00:10:24.740 till I do my,

00:10:25.520 you know.

00:10:27.500 When I have my own plans,

00:10:28.860 stay with me.

00:10:29.520 What I'm saying is,

00:10:33.080 I'm always,

00:10:33.500 I'm always waiting

00:10:34.920 for everything to be perfect

00:10:36.060 before I live my life.

00:10:41.840 I'm always waiting

00:10:42.880 for everything to be perfect

00:10:44.420 before I live my life.

00:10:48.960 As soon as these things line up,

00:10:51.380 I'm gonna live my life.

00:10:58.860 Man,

00:10:59.260 I'm so guilty of that.

00:11:02.720 You know,

00:11:03.200 as soon as,

00:11:03.440 you know,

00:11:05.020 as soon as it,

00:11:05.880 as soon as,

00:11:06.520 you know,

00:11:06.960 this new medicine I'm using

00:11:08.200 helps me,

00:11:08.760 and as soon as,

00:11:09.340 this shirt I ordered

00:11:10.720 come in,

00:11:11.140 and as soon as,

00:11:11.920 I learned Spanish.

00:11:13.300 That, 1.00

00:11:13.460 my shit. 1.00

00:11:14.120 As soon as I learned Spanish 1.00

00:11:15.500 really well,

00:11:16.880 like I'm a,

00:11:17.380 you know,

00:11:17.700 a blue belt or whatever in it.

00:11:19.960 But I always want to wait

00:11:21.500 till everything's perfect.

00:11:22.660 You know,

00:11:22.920 Dustin Poirier noticed

00:11:24.040 that about me.

00:11:25.760 And he said to me,

00:11:26.960 point blank,

00:11:27.420 he said,

00:11:27.720 hey man,

00:11:28.340 you can't wait

00:11:29.220 for everything to be perfect

00:11:30.820 to start living your life.

00:11:37.400 You can't wait

00:11:38.580 for everything to be perfect.

00:11:39.340 perfect

00:11:39.880 to start living

00:11:42.320 your life.

00:11:47.060 And that hit me.

00:11:49.800 I mean,

00:11:50.120 he packs a powerful punch

00:11:51.460 and that,

00:11:51.940 he, 1.00

00:11:52.340 damn, 1.00

00:11:52.740 he hit me with a damn 1.00

00:11:53.620 word punch, 1.00

00:11:54.420 you know,

00:11:55.220 with a word hook.

00:12:01.240 Because I've,

00:12:01.900 I've been,

00:12:02.260 that's what I've done.

00:12:05.080 My whole life

00:12:06.100 has been like that.

00:12:07.140 inside of me,

00:12:09.860 it has been,

00:12:10.360 as soon as it's all

00:12:11.800 lined up,

00:12:12.620 I'm going to show you

00:12:13.520 myself.

00:12:17.300 As soon as I've got it

00:12:18.580 all looking the way

00:12:19.520 I want,

00:12:20.620 I'm going to

00:12:21.220 show up

00:12:22.380 for you.

00:12:25.180 And for me.

00:12:26.160 And man,

00:12:30.880 those were just

00:12:31.280 powerful words

00:12:32.180 that hit me

00:12:32.760 this year.

00:12:34.980 And I'm not trying

00:12:35.820 to preach at you

00:12:36.620 or anything,

00:12:37.020 I just,

00:12:37.960 you know,

00:12:38.600 I was thinking

00:12:38.980 the other day

00:12:39.660 about what has been

00:12:41.640 kind of a,

00:12:42.620 a highlight of my year,

00:12:44.180 something I heard

00:12:44.980 this year.

00:12:46.600 Um,

00:12:47.160 what are some things

00:12:48.160 that,

00:12:48.700 that stuck with me?

00:12:51.440 And that was,

00:12:55.260 that was a big one.

00:12:58.180 He sent me a message

00:12:59.400 and it said,

00:12:59.980 and sometimes you have 0.92

00:13:00.680 to shoot a friend

00:13:01.500 straight. 0.97

00:13:04.360 There's a lot of time

00:13:05.440 where you can sit there

00:13:06.360 and you can be

00:13:06.920 that shoulder.

00:13:10.580 But sometimes

00:13:11.540 you got to,

00:13:12.280 you know,

00:13:13.040 you got to be

00:13:14.500 that fist,

00:13:15.220 baby.

00:13:17.020 And I'm not

00:13:17.700 talking,

00:13:18.160 you know,

00:13:18.820 butt activity,

00:13:19.400 I'm not talking 0.97

00:13:19.980 homosexual, 0.63

00:13:20.940 you know, 0.98

00:13:23.420 homosexualizing. 0.82

00:13:25.400 I'm talking 0.95

00:13:26.040 straight,

00:13:26.640 being straight.

00:13:29.120 Or being gay, 0.92

00:13:30.160 but I'm talking

00:13:30.540 about being a friend.

00:13:34.900 You know?

00:13:36.500 So anyway,

00:13:37.420 man,

00:13:37.700 that's,

00:13:38.460 that was something

00:13:39.120 that,

00:13:39.480 that was something

00:13:40.100 that resonated

00:13:41.140 heavy with me

00:13:41.940 this year.

00:13:43.520 That I can't wait,

00:13:44.760 I can't wait,

00:13:45.860 man.

00:13:46.860 It's not all gonna,

00:13:48.060 I'm never gonna get

00:13:49.140 to that,

00:13:49.660 where everything's

00:13:50.400 okay,

00:13:51.600 where everything

00:13:52.340 looks a certain

00:13:53.280 way.

00:13:55.400 And in the meantime,

00:13:56.540 I'm burning the

00:13:57.320 best time I do

00:13:58.860 have available.

00:14:01.960 I'm burning

00:14:02.860 that candle up.

00:14:06.780 I'm burning

00:14:07.640 this candle down

00:14:08.640 and I'm saying

00:14:09.420 as soon as it

00:14:10.240 gets bright

00:14:11.140 enough,

00:14:12.220 or warm

00:14:13.300 enough in here,

00:14:15.280 I'm gonna show

00:14:17.320 up.

00:14:17.720 but the

00:14:19.560 candle's

00:14:20.100 getting smaller.

00:14:24.280 It's a trap.

00:14:26.400 And that was

00:14:27.120 something that,

00:14:27.880 that resonated

00:14:28.680 with me this

00:14:29.340 year.

00:14:30.920 That was

00:14:31.440 something that

00:14:31.900 resonated with me

00:14:32.760 this year.

00:14:35.480 I want to thank

00:14:36.220 you guys,

00:14:36.600 yeah,

00:14:36.700 for being a part

00:14:37.220 of the show

00:14:37.640 and being a part

00:14:38.180 of my life.

00:14:38.980 And yeah,

00:14:41.740 it's just,

00:14:42.520 man,

00:14:42.800 it'd been a journey

00:14:43.340 and this year

00:14:43.700 went fast,

00:14:44.400 you know.

00:14:46.380 And if I want

00:14:47.300 moments,

00:14:47.700 I gotta make

00:14:48.280 them.

00:14:50.180 I gotta put

00:14:50.960 my cleats on

00:14:52.040 when I show

00:14:54.380 up and say,

00:14:56.500 hey,

00:14:56.620 right now,

00:14:57.120 this is gonna

00:14:57.540 mean something.

00:15:00.340 This is gonna

00:15:01.040 mean something.

00:15:04.540 Because time

00:15:05.440 doesn't have the

00:15:05.960 feeling,

00:15:06.340 it doesn't have

00:15:06.900 as much,

00:15:07.700 it doesn't,

00:15:13.100 time doesn't,

00:15:18.440 time doesn't

00:15:19.240 know how much

00:15:19.840 we care.

00:15:23.840 And even

00:15:24.600 worse than

00:15:25.880 sad,

00:15:26.260 it doesn't

00:15:26.620 care.

00:15:33.880 It doesn't

00:15:34.680 care,

00:15:35.120 man.

00:15:35.360 And that's,

00:15:35.660 it's kind of

00:15:36.120 sad,

00:15:36.520 but it's

00:15:36.760 just,

00:15:37.020 that's our

00:15:37.540 responsibility.

00:15:39.360 To make

00:15:40.080 something

00:15:40.580 mean something.

00:15:42.920 And the

00:15:43.440 time to

00:15:43.840 start doing

00:15:44.340 that.

00:15:46.720 The time

00:15:47.520 was,

00:15:48.120 the time

00:15:48.660 is already,

00:15:49.440 the time,

00:15:50.040 it's been

00:15:50.680 time,

00:15:51.540 you know.

00:15:52.860 So,

00:15:53.760 anyway,

00:15:54.600 that's enough.

00:15:55.240 I'm stepping

00:15:55.640 down.

00:15:56.660 Just step

00:15:57.220 down off my

00:15:57.800 high horse.

00:16:00.460 And I'm

00:16:01.100 back into

00:16:01.500 the world,

00:16:02.060 man.

00:16:02.520 What's going

00:16:03.160 on?

00:16:05.280 Doing well,

00:16:06.120 being grateful.

00:16:09.260 You know,

00:16:09.680 I remember a

00:16:10.120 buddy of mine

00:16:10.700 smoked so much

00:16:11.420 crack one

00:16:12.040 time and

00:16:12.620 that he,

00:16:13.580 his appendix

00:16:15.460 burst.

00:16:17.460 You know,

00:16:17.960 because I

00:16:18.260 guess,

00:16:18.680 I guess your

00:16:21.760 appendix

00:16:22.160 doesn't like

00:16:22.620 crack.

00:16:24.860 And,

00:16:25.300 and he,

00:16:26.800 people hated

00:16:27.580 him so much,

00:16:28.220 he burned so

00:16:28.740 many bridges,

00:16:29.180 he couldn't get

00:16:29.600 a ride to the

00:16:30.000 hospital.

00:16:30.380 so we had

00:16:31.520 to run,

00:16:31.860 he had to

00:16:32.260 run to the

00:16:32.860 hospital. 0.99

00:16:34.960 And damn, 0.99

00:16:35.720 if that isn't, 0.99

00:16:37.880 you know,

00:16:38.180 I love the

00:16:38.680 Olympics and 1.00

00:16:39.280 shit, 1.00

00:16:39.660 but dang, 1.00

00:16:41.140 if that's not

00:16:41.900 an Olympic

00:16:42.380 sport,

00:16:46.340 a spleen

00:16:47.040 splitted 0.85

00:16:47.540 crackhead 0.82

00:16:48.320 doing,

00:16:51.900 you know,

00:16:53.560 doing five

00:16:54.340 kilometers to

00:16:54.960 the hospital

00:16:55.500 because,

00:16:57.180 ah,

00:16:57.520 I tuned into

00:16:58.080 that,

00:16:58.380 baby.

00:17:00.500 Okay,

00:17:01.060 we're going to

00:17:01.360 get into some

00:17:01.820 calls in a

00:17:02.400 little bit.

00:17:03.960 What's going on

00:17:04.740 with me?

00:17:05.480 You know,

00:17:05.820 I spent

00:17:06.180 Thanksgiving over

00:17:07.040 at Dustin

00:17:07.580 Poirier's house.

00:17:08.580 I guess we're

00:17:09.180 just talking about

00:17:09.840 Dustin Poirier.

00:17:12.820 And look,

00:17:13.440 I'll tell you

00:17:13.900 this,

00:17:14.100 people don't

00:17:14.460 know this about

00:17:15.060 that fella. 1.00

00:17:16.620 He's a chef.

00:17:17.600 That fella is 1.00

00:17:18.340 a chef.

00:17:20.740 I mean,

00:17:21.360 dude,

00:17:21.620 that is,

00:17:22.480 that's Chef

00:17:23.100 Boyard damage,

00:17:24.240 bruh.

00:17:25.760 Dude,

00:17:26.040 he was,

00:17:26.360 I showed up,

00:17:27.040 he's,

00:17:27.340 you know,

00:17:27.600 he's out

00:17:28.000 in the yard.

00:17:29.260 I mean,

00:17:29.580 he was,

00:17:30.260 I mean,

00:17:30.720 he battered,

00:17:31.540 he battered

00:17:32.200 two fish

00:17:33.200 fillets,

00:17:33.760 bruh.

00:17:34.800 And I mean,

00:17:35.440 he battered 1.00

00:17:36.020 them bitches, 1.00

00:17:36.600 dog. 1.00

00:17:36.900 He went

00:17:37.500 at least

00:17:38.080 two and a half

00:17:38.640 rounds with

00:17:39.140 them.

00:17:40.660 You know,

00:17:40.940 they had a

00:17:41.260 tarpon and

00:17:41.780 his coach

00:17:42.140 wouldn't throw

00:17:42.580 in the towel. 1.00

00:17:44.460 But damn, 1.00

00:17:45.000 he, 1.00

00:17:45.180 you know,

00:17:46.340 and one red

00:17:47.020 snapper,

00:17:47.520 they went the

00:17:47.880 distance,

00:17:48.380 but he won. 1.00

00:17:50.200 But damn, 0.99

00:17:50.680 I mean, 1.00

00:17:50.800 look,

00:17:51.080 man,

00:17:51.260 that man,

00:17:52.120 I went over

00:17:53.460 there and,

00:17:55.460 um,

00:17:57.020 and it was

00:17:58.900 exciting,

00:17:59.420 you know,

00:17:59.440 but I mean,

00:17:59.820 he had all of,

00:18:00.640 I mean,

00:18:00.900 this dude,

00:18:01.520 he,

00:18:01.800 every two hours,

00:18:02.560 he was up all

00:18:03.200 night doing food.

00:18:06.820 He would go in the,

00:18:08.420 uh,

00:18:09.160 I mean,

00:18:09.540 he just had,

00:18:10.160 he had ovens and this

00:18:11.640 and that,

00:18:12.500 fire,

00:18:13.460 wood chipper. 1.00

00:18:15.360 Damn, 1.00

00:18:15.620 he had a, 1.00

00:18:16.140 uh,

00:18:17.020 somebody was cooking 1.00

00:18:17.980 the shit just 1.00

00:18:18.760 visually, 1.00

00:18:19.360 just some dude

00:18:19.920 staring as hard as

00:18:20.920 he could.

00:18:21.420 He had some dude

00:18:23.500 on PCP just

00:18:24.580 staring straight

00:18:25.260 into a ribeye,

00:18:26.920 just grilling that 1.00

00:18:27.820 bitch out from the 1.00

00:18:28.640 center, 1.00

00:18:29.060 cuz,

00:18:29.360 just,

00:18:29.580 man,

00:18:32.740 he was,

00:18:33.020 but I mean,

00:18:33.940 that dude,

00:18:34.360 every two hours,

00:18:35.280 he'd be up with a

00:18:36.020 ham.

00:18:37.480 I came downstairs,

00:18:38.500 one time he's over

00:18:39.100 there breast,

00:18:39.620 he's over there

00:18:40.120 feeding,

00:18:40.640 burping a ham

00:18:42.340 in a chair.

00:18:42.980 I said,

00:18:43.260 dang,

00:18:43.860 cuz,

00:18:44.040 what's going on,

00:18:45.260 cuz?

00:18:47.400 That man liked

00:18:48.260 to cook,

00:18:49.100 right?

00:18:49.500 He's snapping

00:18:50.320 peas,

00:18:50.840 he's doing all,

00:18:51.740 I mean,

00:18:52.120 it was crazy.

00:18:54.900 He's singing,

00:18:55.860 he's over there

00:18:56.380 snapping peas

00:18:57.260 and singing,

00:18:57.840 uh,

00:18:58.080 slave songs 1.00

00:18:58.940 and shit. 1.00

00:18:59.220 I said, 1.00

00:18:59.480 what?

00:19:00.600 This dude,

00:19:01.160 he really,

00:19:01.760 man,

00:19:02.040 he was,

00:19:03.060 this guy's got a

00:19:04.040 couple,

00:19:04.600 he's got some

00:19:05.280 generations in him.

00:19:08.800 He had recipes

00:19:09.880 in it,

00:19:10.260 I mean,

00:19:10.560 all kind of stuff.

00:19:13.860 Just everything,

00:19:14.900 man,

00:19:15.080 and it was,

00:19:15.880 I had a great time.

00:19:16.960 I haven't done a

00:19:17.640 solo episode since,

00:19:18.700 uh,

00:19:19.120 the Gangsgiving episode,

00:19:20.140 so I wanted to

00:19:20.860 touch base with you

00:19:21.660 and let you know

00:19:22.600 what I did.

00:19:23.780 Um,

00:19:24.420 and that's what I did,

00:19:26.560 man.

00:19:26.900 I had a great time.

00:19:28.480 Um,

00:19:29.300 that was a lot of fun

00:19:30.300 over there in

00:19:30.760 Youngsville.

00:19:33.920 Down there in

00:19:34.600 Youngsville,

00:19:35.500 Louisiana.

00:19:37.040 And we got to go out

00:19:37.880 there with the Good Fight

00:19:38.720 Foundation and,

00:19:40.980 um,

00:19:42.060 they gave out a

00:19:42.880 bunch of hams,

00:19:43.960 bro,

00:19:44.100 we was just

00:19:44.660 hamming people.

00:19:46.240 Every car roll up, 1.00

00:19:47.380 you hit them with

00:19:47.780 that ham, 0.96

00:19:48.380 baby,

00:19:48.660 dang.

00:19:49.600 So we met at this

00:19:50.700 place,

00:19:51.080 it's called Prejean's,

00:19:52.300 it's a restaurant.

00:19:53.980 And a lot of people

00:19:54.900 that works with the

00:19:55.700 Good Fight Foundation

00:19:56.660 were out there.

00:19:58.600 And they had,

00:19:59.100 uh,

00:19:59.200 and the Good Fight

00:20:00.020 Foundation is a,

00:20:00.840 it's a,

00:20:01.660 Dustin Poirier's,

00:20:02.380 it's his charity

00:20:03.100 function.

00:20:04.880 And,

00:20:05.380 um,

00:20:06.600 and you always wonder,

00:20:07.660 what does a charity do?

00:20:08.560 People wonder it all

00:20:09.400 the time,

00:20:09.940 you know?

00:20:11.220 And look,

00:20:11.860 man,

00:20:11.960 I went down there

00:20:12.760 and it was cool.

00:20:14.620 It,

00:20:14.940 it inspired me.

00:20:17.240 Because,

00:20:17.780 you know,

00:20:18.060 a lot of people

00:20:18.740 that work with

00:20:19.260 Good Fight showed

00:20:20.100 up.

00:20:21.160 Uh,

00:20:21.820 the Raging Cade,

00:20:22.720 the Louisiana,

00:20:23.180 uh,

00:20:23.740 football team showed

00:20:24.660 up.

00:20:25.980 Um,

00:20:26.860 who else?

00:20:28.260 Alan Joban was

00:20:29.380 down there.

00:20:30.780 Uh,

00:20:32.220 Cody,

00:20:32.820 a couple other

00:20:33.480 UFC guys,

00:20:34.400 Cody Verrett,

00:20:35.080 a couple fighters,

00:20:35.980 they came out

00:20:37.220 and

00:20:38.640 cars would roll up

00:20:40.820 and you'd hit them

00:20:42.000 with that ham, 0.93

00:20:42.720 baby.

00:20:43.740 You'd ham them 1.00

00:20:44.560 bitches up, 1.00

00:20:45.320 dog. 0.99

00:20:46.520 And they had

00:20:47.180 everybody rolled up.

00:20:49.460 Some,

00:20:49.720 one lady come up, 1.00

00:20:50.840 she's smoking so many

00:20:51.760 you couldn't even

00:20:52.180 see in there,

00:20:52.700 you open the door 1.00

00:20:53.360 and just throw a damn 1.00

00:20:54.460 ham just into the 1.00

00:20:55.240 damn distance. 0.99

00:20:57.740 I mean, 0.99

00:20:58.160 it was just look like 0.99

00:20:58.940 damn Voldemort 0.99

00:21:00.040 in there. 1.00

00:21:01.220 Like,

00:21:01.560 Voldemort had just 1.00

00:21:02.300 belched in that bitch. 1.00

00:21:03.400 It was just all smoke. 1.00

00:21:05.160 Like,

00:21:05.460 heard a ham,

00:21:06.400 set it on the seat.

00:21:08.520 You'd throw that 1.00

00:21:09.220 bitch in there, 1.00

00:21:10.080 cuss. 1.00

00:21:11.260 One dude,

00:21:11.940 his brakes wouldn't work.

00:21:12.880 He had to just,

00:21:13.900 he had his window

00:21:14.600 down and we tried

00:21:15.220 to just ham,

00:21:16.040 just hit that ham 0.51

00:21:16.940 through the window, 0.90

00:21:17.820 bro.

00:21:19.800 Just ham and that 1.00

00:21:20.800 bitch, 1.00

00:21:21.160 you know, 1.00

00:21:21.840 hit him with that 0.98

00:21:22.480 ham, 0.99

00:21:22.940 baby.

00:21:23.280 Bam! 0.98

00:21:24.540 Bam! 0.98

00:21:27.000 Everybody was up

00:21:28.000 in that bed,

00:21:28.740 dog,

00:21:29.040 people.

00:21:29.400 Some people roll

00:21:30.060 through,

00:21:30.300 have silverware

00:21:31.040 right there.

00:21:32.020 You give them

00:21:32.580 that ham,

00:21:33.060 they cut that,

00:21:34.120 they divide that 1.00

00:21:35.200 bitch up right 1.00

00:21:35.920 there. 0.99

00:21:36.240 It was wild,

00:21:39.320 man,

00:21:39.520 but it was awesome.

00:21:41.360 It was a good

00:21:41.880 experience and,

00:21:43.000 and yeah,

00:21:45.400 man,

00:21:45.760 that was fun

00:21:46.640 and then I've just

00:21:47.140 been,

00:21:47.680 I was in LA

00:21:48.260 working on stand-up,

00:21:49.800 had some great shows.

00:21:51.100 Thank you to everybody

00:21:51.680 that came out to see

00:21:52.540 some of those shows.

00:21:53.840 Some were a little

00:21:54.480 rough,

00:21:55.200 but,

00:21:55.300 but they've been

00:21:56.320 getting really better.

00:21:58.000 Man,

00:21:58.260 I'm just really enjoying

00:21:59.300 being back on stage

00:22:00.640 and yeah,

00:22:01.920 I've been feeling

00:22:02.440 better,

00:22:02.960 you know,

00:22:03.500 I've been feeling

00:22:04.220 better.

00:22:05.760 In fact,

00:22:06.440 you know what I'm

00:22:06.840 gonna say?

00:22:07.120 I'm gonna go out

00:22:07.460 and let me,

00:22:07.720 I'm saying I've

00:22:08.220 been feeling good.

00:22:10.040 I've been feeling

00:22:10.920 good,

00:22:11.460 man.

00:22:15.740 And it's funny

00:22:16.460 because so much of

00:22:17.120 I spend so much

00:22:17.900 of my life

00:22:18.380 feeling bad,

00:22:19.000 like,

00:22:19.480 you know,

00:22:19.920 depressed,

00:22:20.600 all that.

00:22:20.920 I don't even know

00:22:21.800 how to do it

00:22:22.700 or I forgot

00:22:25.260 that it's okay.

00:22:29.360 I start feeling

00:22:30.420 good

00:22:31.040 and I,

00:22:32.480 it's,

00:22:32.760 I gotta cause it.

00:22:33.660 Hey,

00:22:34.180 is it okay

00:22:34.980 if I feel good?

00:22:37.060 You know?

00:22:38.440 Hey,

00:22:38.660 if you look at me,

00:22:39.340 do I look,

00:22:39.820 you know, 0.62

00:22:40.520 I look crazy 0.60

00:22:41.220 or I just look

00:22:41.720 like I'm feeling,

00:22:42.300 you know? 1.00

00:22:43.480 That shit, 1.00

00:22:44.060 you know, 1.00

00:22:44.560 I feel good.

00:22:48.220 I feel good,

00:22:49.400 man.

00:22:50.920 And it's,

00:22:51.480 it's,

00:22:51.780 it's wild.

00:22:54.720 It's wild,

00:22:55.860 man,

00:22:56.740 that I feel good,

00:22:58.200 baby.

00:23:00.280 Man,

00:23:00.680 this episode

00:23:02.300 is sponsored

00:23:03.320 by Better Help.

00:23:05.900 That's right.

00:23:07.360 You know,

00:23:08.140 I've had moments

00:23:09.560 in my life

00:23:10.020 where I'm struggling.

00:23:11.240 I can't get out

00:23:12.080 of my brain.

00:23:13.700 It's like I can't

00:23:14.460 get out of mud, 0.97

00:23:15.300 but the mud

00:23:15.960 is my own thoughts,

00:23:17.920 my own feelings.

00:23:19.280 I'm stuck down there.

00:23:21.420 It's quicksand

00:23:22.360 and it's inside of me,

00:23:24.120 but it affects

00:23:24.640 the outside of me.

00:23:26.220 It's pretty interesting

00:23:27.260 how that works.

00:23:28.080 Well,

00:23:29.180 Better Help,

00:23:30.160 they're available

00:23:31.180 because life doesn't

00:23:33.100 come with a user manual

00:23:34.260 and when it's not

00:23:35.720 working for you,

00:23:38.880 Better Help is there.

00:23:40.620 As the world's

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00:23:58.040 like your therapist,

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00:23:59.420 That's what I like.

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00:24:33.780 with your first month

00:24:34.600 at betterhelp.com

00:24:36.560 slash T-H-E-O. 1.00

00:24:39.080 That's betterhelp.com

00:24:41.520 slash Theo.

00:24:43.280 You know,

00:24:43.600 life,

00:24:44.220 it gets tough.

00:24:46.920 And when it does,

00:24:48.240 there are solutions.

00:24:49.780 Better Help.

00:24:50.360 Oh,

00:24:51.860 and one amazing thing

00:24:53.320 that happened was

00:24:54.260 I got to see

00:24:55.260 Roseanne Barr.

00:24:57.640 Now,

00:24:58.160 for those of you

00:24:58.540 who don't know,

00:24:58.960 Roseanne is an iconic

00:25:01.980 female comedian. 0.71

00:25:04.640 And she's,

00:25:06.040 I mean,

00:25:06.560 she's been through it all.

00:25:09.640 And we hope

00:25:11.120 that she will come

00:25:11.900 on the show sometime.

00:25:13.180 But I'm on stage

00:25:18.860 at the comedy store

00:25:19.820 and I did,

00:25:20.660 and honestly,

00:25:21.260 I did well.

00:25:23.820 And I'll tell you

00:25:24.640 why I did well.

00:25:25.380 Because I do well.

00:25:28.640 I'm going to go ahead

00:25:29.760 and say that.

00:25:31.640 Because I don't say

00:25:32.700 that enough.

00:25:34.500 That when I work hard,

00:25:36.340 I do well.

00:25:38.860 And I was doing well.

00:25:42.900 Knock,

00:25:43.400 knock.

00:25:43.660 Who's there?

00:25:44.760 Well.

00:25:45.960 I was doing well,

00:25:47.520 dude.

00:25:47.680 If you came in the room

00:25:48.540 and you saw two things

00:25:49.620 that was naked

00:25:50.180 and I was one of them

00:25:51.260 and I was doing

00:25:52.480 the other one,

00:25:53.520 the other one

00:25:54.520 was well.

00:25:56.300 Because I was doing well.

00:25:58.480 I was doing well,

00:25:59.860 baby.

00:26:00.500 And I start,

00:26:03.020 I'm up there,

00:26:03.760 I'm doing well

00:26:04.320 and I hear this,

00:26:05.540 this laugh.

00:26:07.980 Ha! 0.89

00:26:10.720 I can't do it justice,

00:26:12.200 but it's just,

00:26:12.760 she,

00:26:13.080 it's only,

00:26:13.920 they only made it in her.

00:26:16.540 You know,

00:26:16.940 sometimes God makes

00:26:17.780 some things

00:26:18.260 and they put it

00:26:18.720 into one thing.

00:26:20.640 Like a cool ranch Dorito,

00:26:22.420 they ain't nobody's got that.

00:26:24.920 They ain't nobody's got that.

00:26:28.440 God,

00:26:29.120 dang,

00:26:29.700 it's good.

00:26:32.380 And I,

00:26:33.080 you know,

00:26:33.380 that's,

00:26:33.660 and she's got,

00:26:34.320 she's got that.

00:26:35.160 She's just,

00:26:36.000 she,

00:26:36.200 only her,

00:26:37.900 ha! 0.89

00:26:38.720 Only her has a Roseanne laugh.

00:26:40.560 And I heard it.

00:26:41.960 I heard it in the back

00:26:43.020 of the room.

00:26:44.900 And man,

00:26:45.500 my child,

00:26:46.240 that was the one,

00:26:47.460 the time my family

00:26:48.500 got along

00:26:49.360 was that half hour

00:26:51.220 sitting right there.

00:26:53.680 As soon as that show ended,

00:26:55.320 it was on again.

00:26:57.300 It was back

00:26:58.420 into our Vietnam,

00:26:59.880 baby.

00:27:00.260 But when that show

00:27:01.180 was on,

00:27:02.640 that was our foxhole.

00:27:03.880 So to get to make her laugh,

00:27:06.900 I mean,

00:27:07.160 she laughed the whole time.

00:27:08.520 And it was just,

00:27:10.580 man,

00:27:10.920 it was special.

00:27:11.440 It was real,

00:27:12.120 it was real,

00:27:12.780 something real for me.

00:27:15.020 Something real for me,

00:27:16.160 dude,

00:27:16.260 I wanted to just break open 1.00

00:27:17.940 a can of my own dick 1.00

00:27:19.080 and eat it. 1.00

00:27:21.460 You know?

00:27:22.080 because it meant

00:27:24.620 something to me.

00:27:27.240 Merry Christmas

00:27:28.000 to you guys.

00:27:28.740 I hope you're

00:27:29.160 feeling loved.

00:27:30.800 I hope you are

00:27:31.760 feeling

00:27:32.420 capable.

00:27:35.880 I hope you are

00:27:36.800 feeling

00:27:37.440 that we can't wait

00:27:40.320 for everything

00:27:41.300 to be perfect

00:27:42.040 to live our lives.

00:27:44.720 we cannot.

00:27:50.300 Um,

00:27:50.880 what else?

00:27:52.520 I don't even know

00:27:53.000 if you guys can hear me

00:27:53.820 on this microphone.

00:27:54.880 I hope this microphone

00:27:55.720 is working.

00:27:56.880 These headphones

00:27:57.420 are not working.

00:27:58.940 So I can't hear myself,

00:28:00.300 but that's okay.

00:28:02.140 We got a lot of calls

00:28:03.160 that came in.

00:28:05.540 Um,

00:28:06.360 we had some news

00:28:08.200 that came in.

00:28:09.080 Phoenix cop

00:28:13.100 accused of making

00:28:16.160 porn

00:28:16.980 while on duty.

00:28:19.940 A Phoenix officer

00:28:21.080 is being investigated

00:28:21.780 for allegedly

00:28:22.560 making and

00:28:23.200 distributing porn 0.78

00:28:24.600 while he was

00:28:26.300 on duty

00:28:26.780 and working

00:28:27.140 from home.

00:28:29.800 Um,

00:28:30.480 the officer

00:28:31.060 has allegedly

00:28:32.480 been disseminating

00:28:33.620 adult videos

00:28:34.200 starring himself

00:28:34.980 through a public

00:28:35.540 Twitter page

00:28:36.100 using the handle

00:28:36.660 Rico Blaze.

00:28:38.320 Okay,

00:28:38.540 I like that.

00:28:40.280 Spanish.

00:28:41.640 That's Spanish.

00:28:43.820 Uh,

00:28:44.780 that's it.

00:28:46.640 Okay,

00:28:47.040 and it seems

00:28:47.380 like a brother.

00:28:48.100 This looks like a

00:28:49.020 black gentleman.

00:28:51.360 Oh,

00:28:51.600 yeah,

00:28:51.780 he is.

00:28:54.920 Okay,

00:28:56.000 uh,

00:28:57.260 yeah, 0.99

00:28:57.520 this is a black

00:28:58.020 gentleman right here.

00:29:00.560 He'd been running

00:29:01.340 between Phoenix

00:29:02.000 and Los Angeles

00:29:02.780 um,

00:29:04.740 producing

00:29:05.320 X-rated videos.

00:29:06.840 I don't know

00:29:10.060 if it says

00:29:10.360 he did it on

00:29:11.160 he was on

00:29:12.760 home duty.

00:29:14.900 I don't see

00:29:15.620 where it says

00:29:15.980 he did it on

00:29:16.560 duty,

00:29:16.900 but I will say

00:29:17.580 this.

00:29:18.140 We are in a

00:29:19.160 time

00:29:19.780 where,

00:29:21.160 of course,

00:29:21.660 people need

00:29:22.340 two jobs.

00:29:24.380 We just had

00:29:25.260 a police officer

00:29:26.100 on.

00:29:27.180 The trauma

00:29:28.220 that they go

00:29:28.940 through.

00:29:30.340 The

00:29:30.900 responsibility.

00:29:32.660 Now,

00:29:34.880 I'm not saying

00:29:35.460 every police

00:29:36.200 officer is built

00:29:37.060 for the job.

00:29:37.940 I'm not saying

00:29:38.540 that.

00:29:39.000 I'm not saying

00:29:39.700 that there

00:29:40.400 aren't bad

00:29:41.520 police officers,

00:29:42.940 but I'm

00:29:44.240 saying this,

00:29:45.780 that we

00:29:46.940 learned firsthand

00:29:48.100 that that job,

00:29:50.200 they are the

00:29:51.400 the drain

00:29:52.860 catch

00:29:53.460 for so much

00:29:54.960 stress and

00:29:55.940 turmoil

00:29:57.160 in the world

00:29:59.520 that

00:30:02.860 if they want

00:30:04.320 to look,

00:30:04.740 if that man

00:30:05.300 wants to,

00:30:05.900 you know,

00:30:07.800 come in his

00:30:08.560 gun or

00:30:09.140 whatever,

00:30:10.320 I,

00:30:11.580 I,

00:30:12.240 you know,

00:30:13.100 he should be

00:30:13.760 able to do

00:30:14.360 it.

00:30:16.280 If that,

00:30:17.080 you know,

00:30:17.540 if this,

00:30:18.080 if he wants

00:30:18.560 to bust a,

00:30:20.220 you know,

00:30:20.880 I think they

00:30:21.500 should let him 0.96

00:30:21.980 bust two nuts

00:30:22.800 a week or

00:30:23.360 something.

00:30:24.040 If they're

00:30:24.660 cops,

00:30:25.140 if they're

00:30:26.600 copping or

00:30:27.200 whatever,

00:30:27.600 especially if

00:30:28.060 nobody's in

00:30:28.640 the,

00:30:29.060 if they don't

00:30:29.440 have a

00:30:29.700 partner.

00:30:32.740 I mean,

00:30:33.400 after with,

00:30:34.100 with what

00:30:34.460 these guys

00:30:35.060 go through,

00:30:35.700 we should

00:30:36.260 pay somebody,

00:30:37.520 pay a criminal

00:30:39.480 to hand them

00:30:40.180 off or

00:30:40.620 something.

00:30:42.420 I mean,

00:30:43.040 these guys,

00:30:43.620 they go through

00:30:44.280 a lot,

00:30:44.680 these men

00:30:45.080 and women. 0.98

00:30:48.140 So I'm

00:30:48.780 not shocked

00:30:49.220 and people

00:30:49.680 need two

00:30:50.120 jobs nowadays.

00:30:51.020 You telling

00:30:51.360 me that this

00:30:51.900 guy for the

00:30:53.440 four or five

00:30:54.100 hours when

00:30:54.600 nothing's

00:30:55.080 going on?

00:30:58.260 He can't

00:30:59.180 protect and

00:31:00.140 serve.

00:31:00.680 What's the

00:31:00.980 serve part?

00:31:02.680 He's serving

00:31:03.340 Wiener,

00:31:03.880 this fella.

00:31:06.860 Now,

00:31:07.380 if he's

00:31:07.820 secretly

00:31:08.200 recording and

00:31:09.080 doing that

00:31:09.580 sort of thing

00:31:10.080 and selling

00:31:10.460 it,

00:31:10.620 I don't

00:31:10.800 think that

00:31:11.120 that's good.

00:31:12.160 I'm just

00:31:12.820 saying that

00:31:13.480 if he's

00:31:14.020 able to

00:31:14.860 do it,

00:31:16.240 you know,

00:31:17.100 do a

00:31:17.520 traffic stop

00:31:18.460 and then

00:31:20.360 go get,

00:31:21.640 go get a

00:31:22.400 cat out of

00:31:22.960 a tree,

00:31:23.460 you know what

00:31:23.760 I'm saying?

00:31:24.280 Then let

00:31:26.300 him.

00:31:27.380 If he's

00:31:28.040 able to

00:31:28.460 do all

00:31:28.860 of that

00:31:29.140 and then

00:31:29.460 get back

00:31:29.940 over and

00:31:31.420 stop a

00:31:31.900 bank of

00:31:32.260 robbery,

00:31:32.800 then good.

00:31:34.540 People need

00:31:35.220 two jobs

00:31:35.860 nowadays.

00:31:36.440 You have

00:31:36.600 teachers,

00:31:37.120 have OnlyFans,

00:31:38.020 and we're

00:31:38.420 firing them.

00:31:39.100 That's the

00:31:39.400 sad part.

00:31:41.520 That is the

00:31:42.280 sad part.

00:31:42.940 Now, you know

00:31:43.440 good and well,

00:31:44.140 say this dude

00:31:44.780 makes his name

00:31:45.460 in pornography,

00:31:46.500 which I don't

00:31:47.020 like pornography,

00:31:48.040 but say he

00:31:49.600 makes his name

00:31:50.480 in pornography

00:31:51.420 and he

00:31:54.640 shows up

00:31:55.260 on the

00:31:55.560 scene and

00:31:55.980 there's two

00:31:56.360 dudes

00:31:56.640 fighting.

00:31:58.620 One of them,

00:31:59.360 they're going to

00:31:59.640 stop fighting

00:32:00.240 because they're

00:32:01.020 worried this

00:32:01.560 dude,

00:32:01.900 he's going to 1.00

00:32:03.060 cock them 0.99

00:32:03.460 down.

00:32:05.600 If I know

00:32:06.560 some dude

00:32:07.240 really can

00:32:08.000 really do

00:32:08.780 hammer time 0.97

00:32:10.220 sex, 0.99

00:32:11.720 he can do 0.98

00:32:12.600 serious,

00:32:13.620 you know,

00:32:14.940 construction worker 0.99

00:32:16.140 dick throwing, 0.99

00:32:17.500 you know what

00:32:17.880 I'm talking

00:32:18.280 about?

00:32:18.860 Nail gun,

00:32:20.260 HVAC,

00:32:20.980 if he's got

00:32:21.460 all of that

00:32:22.180 just built

00:32:23.500 into his 1.00

00:32:24.000 cock, 1.00

00:32:24.440 that thing 0.65

00:32:24.800 runs on

00:32:25.300 diesel,

00:32:27.460 then I'm

00:32:28.240 going to

00:32:32.260 take orders

00:32:34.080 and get

00:32:35.220 home safe.

00:32:35.880 That's what

00:32:36.180 I'm going to

00:32:36.480 do.

00:32:37.260 So I think

00:32:38.080 we probably

00:32:38.500 need people

00:32:39.120 like this.

00:32:42.240 We need

00:32:43.020 people like

00:32:43.580 this.

00:32:44.920 What else

00:32:45.520 do we have

00:32:45.800 in the

00:32:46.040 news?

00:32:46.400 It's

00:32:46.540 interesting.

00:32:55.180 Utah

00:32:55.740 senator

00:32:56.260 introduces

00:32:56.800 bill to

00:32:57.440 outlaw

00:32:57.920 all porn

00:32:58.920 nationwide.

00:33:02.340 Utah

00:33:02.900 Republican

00:33:03.280 senator

00:33:03.580 Mike Lee

00:33:04.000 introduced

00:33:04.260 bill to

00:33:04.560 outlaw

00:33:04.760 porn

00:33:05.020 nationwide.

00:33:10.320 You know,

00:33:11.880 the United

00:33:12.580 States does

00:33:12.940 not currently

00:33:13.420 have a

00:33:13.820 national

00:33:14.240 definition

00:33:14.720 of

00:33:14.960 obscenity.

00:33:18.900 Lee is

00:33:19.540 essentially

00:33:19.860 arguing

00:33:20.400 that

00:33:22.340 he's a

00:33:25.960 member.

00:33:26.840 Lee is a

00:33:27.400 member of

00:33:27.760 the Church

00:33:28.260 of Jesus

00:33:28.840 Christ of

00:33:29.260 Latter-day

00:33:29.600 Saints.

00:33:31.800 You know,

00:33:32.620 I have to

00:33:33.340 admit,

00:33:33.660 I think that

00:33:34.120 this would

00:33:34.700 behoove

00:33:35.280 people.

00:33:36.680 This would

00:33:37.320 help.

00:33:37.700 I think

00:33:40.820 this business

00:33:46.080 has ruined

00:33:46.820 it's...

00:33:49.080 Now look,

00:33:50.300 I'm not

00:33:50.540 saying I

00:33:50.960 haven't

00:33:52.080 spent time

00:33:54.060 with

00:33:54.220 pornographers.

00:33:56.020 I haven't

00:33:56.840 watched

00:33:57.400 almost...

00:33:59.080 I'd say I

00:33:59.880 probably

00:34:00.160 watched

00:34:00.800 a quarter

00:34:02.560 percent of

00:34:03.060 the porn

00:34:03.440 that's out 0.92

00:34:03.840 there

00:34:04.140 in my

00:34:05.360 time.

00:34:05.760 but

00:34:08.520 it's,

00:34:11.980 you know,

00:34:12.220 it's,

00:34:12.520 you see

00:34:12.900 some of

00:34:13.360 it,

00:34:13.500 it's just,

00:34:13.940 you know,

00:34:14.220 the people,

00:34:14.820 their holes

00:34:15.300 are open

00:34:15.820 and they're

00:34:16.100 just

00:34:16.440 catching a

00:34:18.260 cold.

00:34:18.660 You see

00:34:18.860 one woman,

00:34:19.460 you know, 1.00

00:34:20.480 her butt 1.00

00:34:21.420 is so 1.00

00:34:21.780 open,

00:34:22.200 she's got

00:34:22.580 to be,

00:34:23.660 she's going

00:34:24.560 to catch

00:34:24.840 a cold,

00:34:25.440 I feel

00:34:25.760 like,

00:34:26.200 sometimes.

00:34:26.700 You see

00:34:26.960 some of

00:34:27.280 that,

00:34:27.480 it's just

00:34:27.800 some of

00:34:28.240 it's

00:34:28.420 graphic.

00:34:30.120 And I

00:34:30.660 don't think

00:34:31.020 it's

00:34:31.220 helpful.

00:34:31.540 I don't

00:34:34.080 think that

00:34:34.420 it's

00:34:34.620 helpful.

00:34:35.960 I don't

00:34:36.480 think it's

00:34:36.840 a long-term

00:34:37.520 positive play

00:34:38.340 for society.

00:34:39.600 I really,

00:34:40.280 really don't.

00:34:45.040 So I'm

00:34:45.540 curious,

00:34:45.940 I want to

00:34:46.180 peek a little

00:34:46.860 bit more

00:34:47.200 into this.

00:34:48.100 Let me

00:34:48.300 know what

00:34:48.500 you guys

00:34:48.780 think about

00:34:49.100 that.

00:34:49.320 Hit

00:34:49.400 the hotline

00:34:49.780 985-664-9503.

00:34:54.520 We're going

00:34:54.940 to do a

00:34:55.180 great call

00:34:55.680 at the end

00:34:56.020 of this.

00:34:56.340 We're going

00:34:56.480 to call

00:34:56.760 somebody.

00:34:57.320 I'm excited

00:34:57.800 about it.

00:35:01.540 So we'll

00:35:02.060 see.

00:35:02.340 We'll see

00:35:02.580 what he

00:35:02.800 says

00:35:03.260 about

00:35:06.560 that

00:35:06.780 pornography.

00:35:08.740 What else?

00:35:09.360 Let's get

00:35:09.660 into a few

00:35:10.060 calls.

00:35:12.300 Let's get

00:35:12.820 into a few

00:35:13.200 calls that

00:35:13.760 happened.

00:35:18.820 Hey,

00:35:19.320 Theo,

00:35:19.780 man,

00:35:20.500 I don't

00:35:21.760 know what

00:35:22.160 to do

00:35:22.580 right now,

00:35:23.900 but my

00:35:25.420 uncle's

00:35:25.840 got a

00:35:26.180 bobcat.

00:35:28.120 Oh,

00:35:28.300 hell yeah.

00:35:30.560 And that's

00:35:31.160 a real

00:35:31.500 uncle.

00:35:32.840 Homeward.

00:35:34.340 It's like

00:35:34.800 a pet.

00:35:36.260 And,

00:35:36.300 man,

00:35:38.100 that thing's

00:35:38.520 been coming

00:35:39.000 around for

00:35:39.560 about two

00:35:40.020 months now.

00:35:41.360 And,

00:35:41.740 I'm going

00:35:43.340 to tell you

00:35:43.620 right now,

00:35:45.480 he gets

00:35:45.940 wild because

00:35:47.840 he's from

00:35:48.280 the wild.

00:35:50.460 Oh,

00:35:50.960 yeah.

00:35:52.140 Look,

00:35:52.640 I'll tell

00:35:53.020 you this,

00:35:53.540 man.

00:35:53.720 The Jungle

00:35:54.220 Book,

00:35:54.660 it ain't a

00:35:55.040 book.

00:35:55.280 It's a 0.99

00:35:55.520 damn 1.00

00:35:55.720 library, 1.00

00:35:56.740 son.

00:35:57.920 The Jungle

00:35:58.600 Book is

00:35:59.160 an anthology.

00:36:00.520 It's a

00:36:01.560 billion

00:36:02.000 chapters

00:36:02.560 long,

00:36:03.140 baby.

00:36:04.600 You got

00:36:05.260 to remember

00:36:05.740 that.

00:36:06.860 An inchworm

00:36:07.540 got the 1.00

00:36:07.920 same shit 1.00

00:36:08.500 in it 1.00

00:36:08.780 that a

00:36:09.120 leopard

00:36:09.380 got in

00:36:09.920 it.

00:36:10.260 It's all

00:36:10.720 connected,

00:36:11.420 daddy,

00:36:11.740 gang.

00:36:13.900 But,

00:36:15.160 I'm telling

00:36:15.820 you,

00:36:16.080 dude,

00:36:16.840 I come

00:36:17.460 home the

00:36:17.900 other day

00:36:18.440 and he

00:36:19.740 was over

00:36:20.200 there,

00:36:21.240 he snatched

00:36:21.880 my hat

00:36:22.360 off my

00:36:22.740 head like 0.97

00:36:23.620 a grown 0.85

00:36:24.040 man.

00:36:26.300 I told my

00:36:26.920 uncle,

00:36:27.360 I said,

00:36:27.620 you need to

00:36:27.860 do something.

00:36:28.440 so we

00:36:30.500 figured it

00:36:31.100 out.

00:36:32.040 I get

00:36:32.380 some 0.97

00:36:32.600 jerked 0.99

00:36:33.020 off every

00:36:33.580 month and

00:36:34.080 a half,

00:36:35.100 $175 to

00:36:37.640 get that

00:36:38.060 little bobcat 0.97

00:36:38.880 jerked 0.96

00:36:39.400 off.

00:36:40.100 God,

00:36:40.980 that's

00:36:42.800 beautiful,

00:36:43.340 man.

00:36:45.840 Oh,

00:36:46.140 that's

00:36:46.320 beautiful.

00:36:46.660 Utah

00:36:57.980 senator's

00:36:58.620 not going

00:36:58.900 to like

00:36:59.220 that.

00:36:59.900 I'll say

00:37:00.300 that.

00:37:03.220 And I

00:37:03.820 don't

00:37:04.040 condone

00:37:04.660 usually

00:37:05.100 human

00:37:05.580 pleasure

00:37:07.220 and

00:37:07.460 animal.

00:37:09.800 There's

00:37:10.240 videos out

00:37:10.920 there,

00:37:11.180 they got

00:37:11.420 a man,

00:37:11.980 they called

00:37:12.340 him,

00:37:12.640 you know,

00:37:13.720 and a

00:37:14.040 man and

00:37:14.440 a dog

00:37:14.920 dating.

00:37:16.660 In a

00:37:18.540 park.

00:37:19.880 And they,

00:37:20.320 you know,

00:37:21.640 I don't

00:37:23.460 condone it

00:37:24.240 when a,

00:37:25.860 if a,

00:37:26.500 I don't

00:37:26.860 condone that

00:37:27.340 kind of

00:37:27.600 stuff.

00:37:29.340 But look,

00:37:30.360 if this is

00:37:30.960 a bobcat,

00:37:31.940 if something's

00:37:32.460 going to

00:37:32.700 kill you, 1.00

00:37:33.400 if it 1.00

00:37:33.660 doesn't 0.99

00:37:33.940 ejaculate, 0.99

00:37:35.360 then you 0.90

00:37:36.280 got two

00:37:36.700 choices. 0.99

00:37:38.820 Die

00:37:39.260 or service 1.00

00:37:41.540 that animal,

00:37:42.220 baby.

00:37:44.720 Nobody

00:37:45.120 thinks you're

00:37:45.700 a pervert. 0.95

00:37:46.220 If something's 0.92

00:37:46.700 going to

00:37:46.940 kill you 1.00

00:37:47.720 and you 1.00

00:37:49.160 make it

00:37:49.540 ejac and 0.98

00:37:51.460 then it

00:37:51.860 doesn't

00:37:52.280 kill you, 0.98

00:37:55.960 that ain't, 1.00

00:37:57.560 you're not

00:37:57.920 some kind

00:37:58.340 of animal 1.00

00:37:58.840 gay or 0.97

00:37:59.360 whatever. 0.98

00:38:01.100 That's

00:38:01.580 safety,

00:38:02.160 bub.

00:38:03.200 That's 1.00

00:38:03.680 damn 1.00

00:38:03.920 safety, 1.00

00:38:04.580 dude.

00:38:07.040 Other than

00:38:07.720 that,

00:38:07.980 he's good

00:38:08.480 to go.

00:38:09.240 I just

00:38:09.740 want to

00:38:10.600 let you

00:38:10.980 know.

00:38:11.720 And thank

00:38:12.400 you for

00:38:12.640 that,

00:38:12.940 man.

00:38:13.140 Thank

00:38:13.380 you for

00:38:13.600 letting us

00:38:13.940 know.

00:38:14.220 I'll

00:38:14.360 tell you

00:38:14.620 this.

00:38:14.960 I'll

00:38:15.520 tell you

00:38:15.820 this.

00:38:16.680 If they

00:38:17.260 passed a

00:38:17.960 thing around

00:38:19.540 my building,

00:38:20.240 a chart or

00:38:20.880 something,

00:38:21.160 you had to

00:38:21.380 guess or

00:38:21.960 check yes

00:38:22.680 or no.

00:38:24.120 These don't

00:38:24.580 even work.

00:38:24.980 I don't

00:38:25.100 know why I'm

00:38:25.440 wearing them.

00:38:26.140 If they

00:38:26.540 passed that

00:38:27.080 thing around

00:38:27.460 my building

00:38:27.800 and said,

00:38:28.160 hey,

00:38:29.240 there is a

00:38:30.560 bobcat in

00:38:31.580 the building

00:38:32.260 and

00:38:35.380 and if it

00:38:36.300 doesn't 0.93

00:38:37.220 ejaculate,

00:38:38.480 then every

00:38:39.760 six weeks

00:38:40.440 somebody

00:38:40.720 gonna lose 1.00

00:38:41.320 a fucking 1.00

00:38:41.860 thumb, 1.00

00:38:42.500 homie.

00:38:44.160 Somebody

00:38:44.460 gonna lose

00:38:44.980 an elbow.

00:38:45.560 Somebody

00:38:45.720 gonna lose 0.99

00:38:46.140 a damn 1.00

00:38:46.460 Cossacks. 1.00

00:38:48.360 You know 0.82

00:38:48.940 what I'm

00:38:49.100 saying?

00:38:50.080 Richard gonna

00:38:50.860 lose an

00:38:51.340 eyeball,

00:38:52.080 baby.

00:38:53.480 Libby gonna 1.00

00:38:54.360 lose a

00:38:55.000 Libya.

00:38:55.980 You know

00:38:56.200 what I'm

00:38:56.420 saying,

00:38:56.820 bruh?

00:38:58.040 Then I

00:38:58.620 say,

00:38:58.920 hey,

00:38:59.120 sign me

00:38:59.660 up,

00:39:00.040 cut.

00:39:01.280 I'll go

00:39:01.860 first.

00:39:03.040 I'll reach

00:39:03.720 into the

00:39:04.120 box,

00:39:04.560 you know?

00:39:05.580 I'll put

00:39:06.020 on one of

00:39:07.000 those burn 0.68

00:39:07.460 proof mittens

00:39:08.180 and reach 0.95

00:39:08.580 into the

00:39:08.920 box.

00:39:10.240 You know,

00:39:10.560 and glove

00:39:11.000 that little 0.72

00:39:11.440 pecker out

00:39:12.120 because that's

00:39:13.800 who I am,

00:39:14.500 bruh.

00:39:16.220 I'm working

00:39:16.840 for God,

00:39:17.600 baby.

00:39:18.680 All right,

00:39:19.220 let's take

00:39:19.580 one more

00:39:19.940 call or two

00:39:20.620 that came

00:39:21.140 in.

00:39:25.980 Here,

00:39:26.480 we gotta

00:39:26.700 a rapper

00:39:27.140 name

00:39:27.480 suggestion.

00:39:28.080 We had

00:39:28.280 an episode

00:39:28.580 with Young

00:39:29.020 Gravy,

00:39:29.460 if you

00:39:29.640 didn't get

00:39:29.860 to hear

00:39:30.180 it.

00:39:32.340 And we're

00:39:32.840 excited about

00:39:33.360 some great

00:39:33.760 episodes in

00:39:34.260 the new

00:39:34.520 year.

00:39:34.960 If you

00:39:35.360 know someone

00:39:35.980 who would

00:39:36.320 be a

00:39:36.600 great

00:39:36.960 regular

00:39:38.900 person

00:39:39.420 job

00:39:39.900 episode,

00:39:41.680 you have

00:39:42.220 a candidate

00:39:42.700 for it.

00:39:43.080 Hit the

00:39:43.320 hotline,

00:39:43.780 let us

00:39:44.040 know,

00:39:44.240 985-664-9503

00:39:46.980 or go to

00:39:47.560 the website,

00:39:49.360 theovon.com.

00:39:50.680 There's ways

00:39:50.920 you can submit

00:39:51.420 a video of

00:39:52.180 them.

00:39:53.060 You know,

00:39:53.940 let us

00:39:54.280 know.

00:39:54.500 We want

00:39:54.720 to get

00:39:55.000 unique

00:39:56.400 people on

00:39:57.120 who are

00:39:57.360 good at

00:39:57.660 communicating

00:39:58.300 and just

00:39:59.960 have an

00:40:00.460 interest in

00:40:01.280 personality.

00:40:02.040 I know

00:40:02.220 that's a

00:40:02.560 big question.

00:40:03.280 Everybody

00:40:03.500 knows

00:40:03.860 somebody,

00:40:04.480 but be

00:40:06.140 realistic.

00:40:09.160 Here's a

00:40:09.820 rapper name

00:40:10.360 suggestion

00:40:10.900 came in.

00:40:12.840 Hey,

00:40:13.380 Theo,

00:40:13.720 man.

00:40:14.260 Just listening

00:40:14.940 to you

00:40:16.460 and Young

00:40:17.720 Gravy this

00:40:18.720 morning on the

00:40:19.420 way to work.

00:40:20.840 Thought a good

00:40:21.340 rapper name.

00:40:22.140 I don't

00:40:22.420 know.

00:40:22.640 I usually

00:40:23.120 whenever I

00:40:23.780 call you,

00:40:24.400 I usually

00:40:24.860 call you

00:40:25.320 Daddy's

00:40:25.760 on or

00:40:27.980 maybe

00:40:29.200 Dirty

00:40:29.600 P.

00:40:30.640 I like

00:40:31.100 old Dirty

00:40:31.660 P.

00:40:32.200 Make you

00:40:32.480 think you

00:40:32.880 got a

00:40:33.220 little

00:40:33.340 something

00:40:33.620 swimming

00:40:33.980 around in

00:40:34.620 that

00:40:34.840 tea

00:40:35.120 glass.

00:40:35.860 You know

00:40:36.020 what I

00:40:36.220 mean?

00:40:36.860 Oh,

00:40:37.400 hell yeah. 0.83

00:40:38.520 Dirty 0.92

00:40:38.940 piss or

00:40:39.500 biscuit piss 0.57

00:40:40.300 they used to

00:40:40.780 call me.

00:40:42.660 You know,

00:40:43.260 when I was

00:40:43.640 young,

00:40:44.100 I ate so

00:40:44.520 many carbs.

00:40:45.380 We didn't

00:40:45.600 have a lot

00:40:45.920 of meat at

00:40:46.380 the house.

00:40:47.840 So we'd

00:40:48.520 eat a lot

00:40:48.960 of carbs,

00:40:49.700 dog.

00:40:51.280 And if

00:40:51.840 mom was

00:40:52.280 going out

00:40:52.880 or heading

00:40:53.180 off,

00:40:53.480 she would

00:40:53.720 sometimes

00:40:53.960 throw a

00:40:54.500 can of

00:40:54.840 biscuits in

00:40:55.420 there and

00:40:56.080 start them 1.00

00:40:56.700 bitches. 1.00

00:40:58.160 And our 0.99

00:40:58.780 job was to

00:40:59.320 end them 1.00

00:40:59.840 bitches. 1.00

00:41:01.060 End them 1.00

00:41:01.560 biscuits.

00:41:02.660 Before they

00:41:03.040 burned.

00:41:06.120 And they

00:41:06.540 used to,

00:41:07.040 uh,

00:41:07.800 and I'd

00:41:09.120 eat so

00:41:09.460 many of

00:41:10.000 them,

00:41:10.940 you know,

00:41:11.260 they'd call

00:41:11.660 me a

00:41:12.100 biscuit

00:41:12.440 piss.

00:41:13.740 Because my 0.97

00:41:14.440 urine would

00:41:15.100 smell.

00:41:16.880 like,

00:41:18.740 um,

00:41:19.980 those,

00:41:20.560 uh,

00:41:22.000 Pillsbury.

00:41:24.060 My urine

00:41:24.700 would smell 0.60

00:41:25.320 like those

00:41:25.780 Pillsbury.

00:41:26.940 God,

00:41:27.460 that was a 0.99

00:41:27.800 fucking good 1.00

00:41:28.260 time, 0.99

00:41:28.660 man.

00:41:30.980 What else?

00:41:33.340 Uh,

00:41:34.000 so biscuit

00:41:34.680 piss would be

00:41:35.340 a good one. 0.97

00:41:37.080 Let me take

00:41:37.860 one right here.

00:41:39.720 Yo,

00:41:39.940 what's up,

00:41:40.480 dude?

00:41:40.980 I just, 1.00

00:41:43.360 fuck, 1.00

00:41:43.820 man, 1.00

00:41:44.000 I forgot

00:41:44.260 what I was

00:41:44.720 going to say,

00:41:45.380 but,

00:41:45.680 I don't

00:41:48.240 know,

00:41:48.440 I was just

00:41:48.800 watching videos

00:41:49.680 on you

00:41:50.620 and your,

00:41:51.540 you talking

00:41:52.220 about the

00:41:52.980 relationship

00:41:53.420 with your

00:41:53.900 dad and

00:41:54.460 you,

00:41:55.620 and it

00:41:56.260 just kind

00:41:56.700 of got

00:41:56.900 me thinking,

00:41:57.460 and I

00:41:59.220 feel like

00:41:59.840 I need

00:42:00.560 to just

00:42:01.040 talk.

00:42:02.180 Well,

00:42:02.260 thanks for

00:42:02.580 the call,

00:42:03.020 brother.

00:42:04.200 You can

00:42:04.740 do that,

00:42:05.220 man,

00:42:05.420 that's,

00:42:06.000 that's good,

00:42:07.080 you know?

00:42:07.540 Thank you,

00:42:08.120 onward.

00:42:09.060 But,

00:42:10.520 basically,

00:42:11.520 my dad

00:42:12.020 left when

00:42:12.440 I was nine.

00:42:13.260 I'm 16

00:42:13.900 now,

00:42:15.040 and I

00:42:15.260 just feel

00:42:15.800 like,

00:42:16.400 I feel

00:42:16.740 like I

00:42:17.020 missed out

00:42:17.700 on,

00:42:19.300 like,

00:42:19.580 having a,

00:42:20.600 I guess,

00:42:20.960 a father

00:42:21.380 figure,

00:42:22.840 or just,

00:42:23.320 like,

00:42:23.400 a male role

00:42:24.060 model.

00:42:25.420 And so,

00:42:27.080 I don't know,

00:42:27.680 I feel like I

00:42:28.200 just lack

00:42:28.700 confidence in

00:42:30.580 myself because

00:42:31.340 of that.

00:42:31.840 I feel like I've

00:42:32.480 never had

00:42:33.000 anybody to,

00:42:34.460 anybody to

00:42:36.620 just show

00:42:37.260 me the

00:42:38.520 way and

00:42:39.060 just teach

00:42:40.360 me how

00:42:40.700 to,

00:42:41.360 I don't

00:42:42.720 know,

00:42:43.120 man.

00:42:44.720 I,

00:42:45.100 I don't

00:42:47.220 know.

00:42:48.760 I feel

00:42:49.440 you,

00:42:49.660 brother.

00:42:49.920 Thank you

00:42:50.220 for the

00:42:50.460 call,

00:42:50.800 man.

00:42:53.180 I appreciate

00:42:53.920 you sharing.

00:42:54.480 Yeah,

00:42:54.960 I can relate

00:42:55.840 to that.

00:42:56.220 I feel like

00:42:56.680 I missed

00:42:57.080 out.

00:42:59.500 But the

00:43:00.140 truth of

00:43:00.940 that feeling,

00:43:01.460 I think,

00:43:02.000 is it's

00:43:02.440 they missed

00:43:03.260 out.

00:43:04.460 they missed

00:43:06.600 out.

00:43:11.780 You know,

00:43:12.460 and we

00:43:12.800 take it on

00:43:13.280 ourselves

00:43:13.620 because that's

00:43:14.140 the only way

00:43:14.560 we,

00:43:14.960 it's,

00:43:15.900 obviously,

00:43:16.980 if our

00:43:17.180 parent left

00:43:17.940 or wasn't

00:43:18.360 there for

00:43:18.680 us,

00:43:18.840 there must

00:43:19.120 have been

00:43:19.360 something wrong

00:43:20.040 we did.

00:43:20.680 There's

00:43:20.860 something wrong

00:43:21.440 with us.

00:43:21.940 That's human,

00:43:22.640 that's the

00:43:22.940 nature of a

00:43:23.560 child.

00:43:24.760 Something

00:43:25.120 happens wrong

00:43:25.900 in the

00:43:26.180 world.

00:43:27.500 Well,

00:43:27.900 it must

00:43:28.160 have been

00:43:28.380 me.

00:43:28.640 I didn't

00:43:29.000 do enough.

00:43:30.300 I wasn't

00:43:31.020 enough.

00:43:34.460 if I

00:43:35.720 was only

00:43:36.100 perfect,

00:43:36.800 my father

00:43:37.260 would have

00:43:37.560 stayed.

00:43:37.800 If I

00:43:37.960 was only

00:43:38.440 this,

00:43:38.860 my,

00:43:39.400 if only,

00:43:40.240 you know,

00:43:41.480 and it's

00:43:43.140 disappointing

00:43:45.020 that your

00:43:45.520 father wasn't

00:43:46.180 able to,

00:43:48.940 you know,

00:43:49.820 sometimes it's

00:43:50.700 not even that

00:43:51.240 he couldn't

00:43:51.940 or he

00:43:52.220 didn't,

00:43:52.660 it's just

00:43:52.960 something inside,

00:43:54.220 he never

00:43:54.620 got it.

00:43:55.380 He wasn't

00:43:55.900 able to,

00:43:57.780 you know,

00:43:58.060 and I'm

00:43:58.300 so,

00:43:58.740 I'm

00:43:59.140 sorry.

00:44:00.560 You know,

00:44:00.900 I'm real

00:44:01.160 sorry.

00:44:08.460 But I

00:44:09.020 don't want

00:44:09.340 you thinking

00:44:09.620 that you

00:44:09.940 didn't deserve

00:44:10.560 those things.

00:44:15.940 You know,

00:44:18.140 that you

00:44:18.780 didn't deserve

00:44:19.340 to be

00:44:19.860 stuck around

00:44:22.300 for.

00:44:24.760 That you

00:44:25.320 didn't deserve

00:44:25.820 to be loved.

00:44:26.740 That you

00:44:26.940 didn't deserve

00:44:27.340 your dad

00:44:27.860 to come

00:44:28.200 and just

00:44:28.440 put his

00:44:28.780 hand on

00:44:29.100 the back

00:44:29.380 of your

00:44:29.540 neck 0.53

00:44:29.920 and pull 0.69

00:44:31.140 him in

00:44:31.460 close by

00:44:32.100 you

00:44:32.340 and kiss

00:44:35.180 you on

00:44:35.460 the head

00:44:35.880 or tell

00:44:36.220 you he

00:44:36.440 loved

00:44:36.700 you.

00:44:39.320 You

00:44:39.720 deserved

00:44:40.260 that.

00:44:44.680 Okay,

00:44:45.200 you deserved

00:44:45.940 that.

00:44:49.420 You know,

00:44:49.960 and I'm

00:44:50.140 sorry,

00:44:50.440 that kind 0.99

00:44:50.720 of shit 1.00

00:44:50.960 gets me 1.00

00:44:51.360 animated,

00:44:51.960 man.

00:44:54.020 Because

00:44:54.420 it's how

00:44:54.740 you can't,

00:44:55.220 it's hard

00:44:55.560 to replace

00:44:56.120 that.

00:44:57.340 And I

00:44:59.680 know exactly

00:45:00.240 what you're,

00:45:00.820 I'm sorry,

00:45:01.460 I don't know

00:45:01.760 exactly.

00:45:03.220 I can relate

00:45:04.280 sometimes I feel

00:45:05.120 like to what

00:45:05.440 you're saying.

00:45:05.860 Yeah,

00:45:06.020 man,

00:45:06.240 I didn't,

00:45:06.640 I never

00:45:07.200 knew,

00:45:08.040 I never

00:45:08.440 looked enough

00:45:09.020 time in my

00:45:09.660 dad's eyes.

00:45:10.660 I didn't

00:45:10.980 know how

00:45:11.440 appropriate,

00:45:12.260 I noticed

00:45:12.740 in my life,

00:45:13.620 I've had

00:45:14.040 trouble knowing

00:45:14.600 how long to

00:45:15.240 look into a

00:45:15.900 man's eyes

00:45:16.500 when I'm

00:45:16.780 talking to

00:45:17.240 him.

00:45:17.440 because I

00:45:20.620 didn't get

00:45:20.960 the

00:45:21.120 training.

00:45:24.100 Dads

00:45:24.540 don't

00:45:24.780 realize

00:45:25.180 that,

00:45:25.560 that's

00:45:25.640 where your

00:45:26.540 son gets

00:45:27.040 the training

00:45:27.600 of how

00:45:27.960 long do

00:45:28.360 I look

00:45:28.740 into a

00:45:29.180 man's eyes

00:45:29.540 when I'm

00:45:30.160 talking about

00:45:30.860 something

00:45:31.140 serious,

00:45:31.700 when I'm,

00:45:32.280 you know,

00:45:32.900 I never

00:45:34.200 knew,

00:45:34.440 I've always

00:45:34.820 had this

00:45:35.240 thing,

00:45:35.540 I'll look

00:45:35.940 away a lot

00:45:36.640 of times

00:45:37.320 because I

00:45:38.660 don't know

00:45:39.160 what the 1.00

00:45:39.600 fucking 0.99

00:45:39.960 proper 0.99

00:45:40.600 amount

00:45:41.440 of time

00:45:42.040 is

00:45:42.480 to

00:45:43.720 connect

00:45:44.200 with

00:45:44.400 someone

00:45:44.680 without

00:45:44.940 them

00:45:45.360 thinking

00:45:45.720 that

00:45:45.980 I'm

00:45:46.320 scared,

00:45:48.280 without

00:45:49.000 them

00:45:49.300 thinking

00:45:49.580 that

00:45:49.760 I'm

00:45:49.940 overconfident,

00:45:51.600 that's

00:45:52.160 where you

00:45:52.380 learn all

00:45:52.840 that 1.00

00:45:53.040 shit. 1.00

00:45:57.700 Yeah, 1.00

00:45:58.340 nobody taught

00:45:58.860 you how to

00:45:59.160 stand up

00:45:59.680 for yourself,

00:46:02.640 nobody,

00:46:02.960 all that 1.00

00:46:03.380 shit, 1.00

00:46:03.820 man. 1.00

00:46:04.780 I'm

00:46:05.320 sorry,

00:46:05.780 bruh.

00:46:07.960 I'm

00:46:08.500 real sorry

00:46:09.140 and just

00:46:09.920 know that

00:46:10.260 you're not

00:46:10.560 alone in

00:46:11.060 that.

00:46:12.480 You know,

00:46:13.640 and there

00:46:13.940 is a

00:46:14.260 group out

00:46:14.780 there,

00:46:16.420 children,

00:46:20.980 there's a

00:46:21.340 group called

00:46:22.480 Adult Children

00:46:23.060 of Alcoholics

00:46:23.920 and I'm

00:46:24.260 not saying

00:46:24.540 your father's

00:46:24.880 an alcoholic

00:46:25.320 but they

00:46:27.560 have the

00:46:28.120 yellow book

00:46:28.820 and the

00:46:30.820 way that

00:46:31.660 all the

00:46:33.960 steps in

00:46:34.560 there can

00:46:34.940 be helpful

00:46:35.420 to guys

00:46:36.200 like us.

00:46:38.920 Dude,

00:46:39.420 when I

00:46:40.080 would get

00:46:40.380 friends,

00:46:40.840 I would

00:46:41.020 be so

00:46:41.500 like,

00:46:42.480 I would

00:46:43.560 attach

00:46:43.960 myself so

00:46:44.640 much to

00:46:44.940 my

00:46:45.080 friends.

00:46:45.440 There

00:46:45.560 was

00:46:45.720 times

00:46:46.020 where I

00:46:46.180 was like,

00:46:46.540 man,

00:46:46.780 does my

00:46:47.520 friends think

00:46:48.040 I'm being

00:46:48.600 gay? 0.86

00:46:50.380 Just because

00:46:50.840 I don't

00:46:51.120 know how to

00:46:51.540 relate to

00:46:52.140 another man

00:46:52.820 that much

00:46:53.220 without,

00:46:54.240 you know,

00:46:55.240 I don't

00:46:55.600 know what

00:46:55.920 you share,

00:46:56.480 what you do,

00:46:56.820 I don't

00:46:57.320 know what's

00:46:57.840 going on.

00:47:04.160 You know,

00:47:05.380 I would

00:47:07.160 remember I

00:47:07.500 would give

00:47:07.740 my friends

00:47:08.200 extra hugs,

00:47:09.200 I would hug

00:47:09.700 my friends,

00:47:10.340 my male

00:47:10.740 friends,

00:47:11.120 I'd hug 0.73

00:47:11.360 my female 0.88

00:47:11.800 friends too.

00:47:13.220 I'd hug

00:47:13.640 that booty,

00:47:14.620 I'd hug 0.98

00:47:15.020 them titty.

00:47:16.480 But for

00:47:16.820 the men,

00:47:17.220 some of them

00:47:17.480 I'd give

00:47:17.780 them extra

00:47:18.120 hugs,

00:47:18.400 you know,

00:47:19.140 because I

00:47:19.540 was,

00:47:19.940 every time

00:47:20.520 I would

00:47:20.800 get a

00:47:21.060 chance with

00:47:21.460 a buddy,

00:47:21.960 I just

00:47:22.460 want a

00:47:22.800 little piece

00:47:23.320 of that

00:47:23.560 relationship

00:47:24.060 with my

00:47:24.420 father.

00:47:25.780 I wanted

00:47:26.160 a little

00:47:26.620 piece of

00:47:27.120 that,

00:47:27.500 you know,

00:47:28.060 and I

00:47:28.260 would get

00:47:28.560 you just

00:47:28.880 an extra

00:47:29.300 fist bump, 0.78

00:47:30.220 an extra

00:47:30.520 just,

00:47:30.840 you know,

00:47:31.840 I would

00:47:32.140 need it,

00:47:32.600 I wanted

00:47:33.080 an,

00:47:33.500 I just

00:47:33.840 wanted a

00:47:34.400 little bit

00:47:35.060 and I

00:47:36.060 would siphon

00:47:36.640 it off

00:47:36.900 of other

00:47:37.220 small

00:47:37.500 relationships.

00:47:43.940 But just

00:47:44.520 take care

00:47:44.920 of yourself,

00:47:45.420 man.

00:47:47.180 It's a

00:47:47.740 long road,

00:47:48.480 you'll figure

00:47:48.880 this stuff

00:47:49.420 out,

00:47:50.480 that you're

00:47:51.760 aware of

00:47:52.240 it is

00:47:52.460 important.

00:47:55.680 Some of

00:47:56.180 that stuff's

00:47:56.560 going to be

00:47:56.820 a battle,

00:47:57.300 and that's

00:47:57.760 one of the

00:47:58.100 things that's

00:47:58.480 happening in

00:47:58.980 our world.

00:48:03.500 You know,

00:48:04.200 it's happening

00:48:04.720 a lot,

00:48:05.260 and it's

00:48:05.880 just some

00:48:06.340 part of

00:48:06.700 society

00:48:07.200 that's

00:48:07.480 going on.

00:48:07.940 It could

00:48:08.260 be just

00:48:08.640 American.

00:48:09.180 I don't

00:48:09.380 know enough

00:48:09.740 about the

00:48:10.120 world to

00:48:10.620 know if

00:48:10.820 it's just

00:48:11.040 an American

00:48:11.600 symptom.

00:48:14.860 But you're

00:48:15.400 not alone,

00:48:16.180 bruh.

00:48:18.060 And it's

00:48:18.600 a battle.

00:48:24.380 But you

00:48:28.120 can't eat.

00:48:29.640 But you

00:48:30.020 got this,

00:48:30.600 man.

00:48:31.760 You know,

00:48:32.280 you'll figure

00:48:32.740 it out.

00:48:33.060 You got

00:48:33.380 this.

00:48:35.720 And

00:48:35.960 more people

00:48:37.340 probably can

00:48:37.840 associate to

00:48:38.580 that sort

00:48:38.960 of thing

00:48:39.200 than you

00:48:39.580 maybe realize.

00:48:41.060 I don't

00:48:41.280 know.

00:48:42.020 But I

00:48:42.380 love you,

00:48:42.780 baby.

00:48:43.860 Praise God,

00:48:44.680 baby gang.

00:48:45.240 I'm upstairs!

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00:50:38.840 All right.

00:50:41.280 You know,

00:50:41.940 we like to talk

00:50:42.520 to miracles on

00:50:43.320 this show,

00:50:44.160 and if you know

00:50:45.360 a miracle,

00:50:45.940 if you are a

00:50:46.740 miracle,

00:50:47.340 if you have

00:50:47.980 someone in your

00:50:48.460 family or life

00:50:49.220 that has been

00:50:49.680 a miracle,

00:50:50.680 has an amazing

00:50:51.300 story,

00:50:51.840 hit the hotline

00:50:54.280 985-664-9503.

00:50:57.600 We want to

00:50:58.020 talk to a

00:50:59.300 miracle right

00:50:59.960 now.

00:51:00.760 You guys may

00:51:01.360 remember this

00:51:01.980 call that came

00:51:02.740 in.

00:51:03.300 What's going

00:51:04.000 on,

00:51:04.540 the Rat

00:51:04.960 King?

00:51:05.900 Hey,

00:51:06.260 big dog.

00:51:07.260 My name is

00:51:07.820 Julian Torres.

00:51:08.900 Dude,

00:51:09.120 back in 2010,

00:51:10.280 dude,

00:51:10.500 I stepped on

00:51:11.020 a bomb,

00:51:12.260 lost both my

00:51:12.840 legs in

00:51:13.200 Afghanistan,

00:51:14.700 and since

00:51:15.800 then,

00:51:16.120 dude,

00:51:16.300 I kind of

00:51:17.000 killed 0.50

00:51:17.160 Majaro, 0.95

00:51:17.780 dude.

00:51:17.960 I don't

00:51:19.740 know,

00:51:19.960 Mandy,

00:51:20.280 I like to

00:51:20.780 think that

00:51:21.140 I'm getting

00:51:21.880 after it,

00:51:22.620 you know,

00:51:23.200 but yeah,

00:51:24.420 man,

00:51:24.620 like I've

00:51:24.860 seen some 1.00

00:51:25.120 crazy shit 0.99

00:51:25.760 when I got 0.99

00:51:28.000 blown up

00:51:28.440 and stuff

00:51:28.720 like that,

00:51:29.140 man.

00:51:29.700 I don't

00:51:30.160 know,

00:51:30.340 man,

00:51:30.500 I'd love to

00:51:31.020 tell you the

00:51:31.340 story,

00:51:31.660 man,

00:51:31.800 if you're

00:51:32.160 willing to

00:51:32.460 hear,

00:51:32.680 I'm a

00:51:32.820 huge fan.

00:51:35.300 What's

00:51:35.660 going on?

00:51:36.380 What's

00:51:36.780 up,

00:51:37.080 big dog,

00:51:37.900 baby?

00:51:38.520 What's

00:51:38.860 going on,

00:51:39.620 gang,

00:51:39.980 gang,

00:51:40.500 baby?

00:51:41.160 What's

00:51:41.520 up,

00:51:41.820 dude?

00:51:42.020 Where are

00:51:42.440 you?

00:51:43.740 Dude,

00:51:44.000 I'm in

00:51:44.280 Southern

00:51:44.480 California,

00:51:45.020 baby boy.

00:51:45.800 Amen.

00:51:46.560 Far from

00:51:47.040 your,

00:51:47.760 do you

00:51:48.200 know where

00:51:48.440 Oceanside's

00:51:49.100 at?

00:51:49.580 Oh,

00:51:49.880 yeah,

00:51:50.040 he's by

00:51:50.360 cocaine over

00:51:51.060 there.

00:51:52.380 Oh,

00:51:52.740 really,

00:51:53.140 dude?

00:51:53.500 Well,

00:51:53.960 you know

00:51:54.220 what they

00:51:54.440 say about

00:51:54.800 Oceanside,

00:51:55.340 right?

00:51:55.700 Uh-uh.

00:51:57.300 It's a

00:51:58.140 sunny place

00:51:59.040 for shady

00:51:59.780 people.

00:52:00.360 Ooh.

00:52:01.980 I believe

00:52:02.800 that,

00:52:03.300 bro.

00:52:03.500 I believe

00:52:03.980 that.

00:52:05.020 So you

00:52:05.620 joined the

00:52:06.120 Marines,

00:52:06.740 you're stationed

00:52:07.440 where?

00:52:09.220 Dude,

00:52:09.720 so I joined

00:52:10.320 the Marines,

00:52:11.280 and before we

00:52:11.820 go any further,

00:52:12.660 I just want

00:52:13.120 to say what's

00:52:13.580 up to all my

00:52:14.040 boys in

00:52:14.480 2nd Battalion,

00:52:15.500 6th Marines.

00:52:16.380 Gang,

00:52:16.840 baby.

00:52:18.200 Gang,

00:52:18.600 baby boy.

00:52:21.340 And because

00:52:22.180 those dudes 0.91

00:52:22.580 were the ones

00:52:23.040 that really,

00:52:24.400 out of Lejeune,

00:52:25.660 North Carolina,

00:52:26.780 they're the

00:52:27.160 ones that put

00:52:28.360 Humpty Dumpty

00:52:28.880 back together,

00:52:29.540 you know?

00:52:29.760 If it wasn't

00:52:30.120 for those dudes,

00:52:30.780 man,

00:52:31.460 if it wasn't

00:52:31.800 for those dudes,

00:52:32.480 bro,

00:52:32.700 like,

00:52:33.860 I'm just a ghost,

00:52:34.980 you know what I mean? 1.00

00:52:36.060 Damn, 1.00

00:52:36.600 cuz. 1.00

00:52:37.460 Yeah,

00:52:38.160 bro,

00:52:38.520 and what's crazy,

00:52:39.440 dude,

00:52:39.620 and like,

00:52:39.880 what I think

00:52:40.220 a lot of people

00:52:40.680 don't,

00:52:41.300 and you know,

00:52:41.760 like,

00:52:42.600 first,

00:52:43.060 I mean,

00:52:43.420 I'm a huge

00:52:46.740 fan,

00:52:47.160 dude,

00:52:47.340 and I'm a huge

00:52:47.860 fan because

00:52:48.340 like,

00:52:48.500 you're so like,

00:52:49.940 some things you say

00:52:50.700 and I'm like,

00:52:51.160 oh, 0.99

00:52:51.540 damn, 1.00

00:52:51.960 dog, 1.00

00:52:52.180 come on,

00:52:52.660 baby boy,

00:52:53.380 you know?

00:52:53.760 but for the most

00:52:56.020 part,

00:52:56.280 dude,

00:52:56.580 I think you're

00:52:57.380 the realest

00:52:58.020 dude on the

00:52:59.120 internet,

00:52:59.580 dog,

00:52:59.740 the most

00:53:00.080 authentic,

00:53:00.720 the most

00:53:00.980 honest,

00:53:02.400 and I strive

00:53:03.640 to be like

00:53:04.120 that,

00:53:04.400 dog,

00:53:04.600 I strive

00:53:05.060 to be like,

00:53:05.740 you know?

00:53:06.620 It's not always

00:53:07.380 pleasant,

00:53:08.160 but you're

00:53:10.260 doing good,

00:53:10.860 man.

00:53:11.280 Thanks,

00:53:11.620 bro.

00:53:12.660 Thank you,

00:53:13.160 man,

00:53:13.240 I appreciate

00:53:13.620 that.

00:53:13.940 Yeah,

00:53:14.040 I'm trying

00:53:14.360 my best,

00:53:14.840 you know,

00:53:15.020 it's tough

00:53:15.400 to be alive

00:53:16.080 these days,

00:53:16.740 it's tough

00:53:17.160 for everybody

00:53:17.580 to figure

00:53:18.020 out,

00:53:18.720 and I

00:53:20.020 appreciate you

00:53:20.500 spending time

00:53:20.980 with us,

00:53:21.320 man,

00:53:21.460 and coming to

00:53:21.980 us,

00:53:22.200 like,

00:53:22.360 with just

00:53:22.860 a real

00:53:23.220 scenario

00:53:23.700 that happens

00:53:24.600 to so few

00:53:25.740 people in the

00:53:26.260 world,

00:53:26.740 and then you

00:53:27.220 get to live

00:53:27.920 through it.

00:53:28.920 I mean,

00:53:29.660 there's got

00:53:30.100 to be,

00:53:30.620 like,

00:53:31.000 that has to

00:53:31.620 leave you

00:53:31.920 with so many

00:53:32.420 feelings,

00:53:33.140 and we'll

00:53:34.160 get to that

00:53:34.560 in a second,

00:53:35.040 I just want

00:53:35.440 to get down

00:53:35.880 to kind of

00:53:36.320 exactly

00:53:36.820 what happened,

00:53:38.020 if you can

00:53:38.280 take us

00:53:38.640 through the

00:53:39.240 day,

00:53:39.680 so you're

00:53:40.000 stationed

00:53:40.520 with your

00:53:41.380 platoon,

00:53:42.040 it's called?

00:53:44.100 Yeah,

00:53:44.520 I do,

00:53:44.780 so I'll

00:53:46.440 just tell you

00:53:47.620 the story,

00:53:49.460 and then you

00:53:49.700 can ask

00:53:50.020 questions,

00:53:50.600 you know?

00:53:50.900 Okay.

00:53:51.120 there's no

00:53:53.400 rules,

00:53:53.860 man,

00:53:54.020 if you want

00:53:54.820 to ask,

00:53:55.140 it's so

00:53:55.500 important that

00:53:56.020 people ask

00:53:56.540 about these

00:53:57.000 stories and

00:53:58.940 these incidences

00:53:59.600 because it's

00:54:02.020 a part of

00:54:02.440 our history,

00:54:04.260 you know what I

00:54:04.520 mean?

00:54:04.760 And I feel

00:54:05.180 like if we

00:54:05.660 don't talk

00:54:07.360 about it,

00:54:08.360 then the

00:54:09.680 dudes that

00:54:10.080 didn't make

00:54:10.420 it back

00:54:10.680 home,

00:54:12.040 their sacrifice,

00:54:13.560 bro,

00:54:13.780 is just like,

00:54:15.020 it's like

00:54:15.760 whatever,

00:54:16.580 you know what I

00:54:16.880 mean?

00:54:17.020 It's disrespectful.

00:54:17.860 Yeah,

00:54:19.180 it almost

00:54:19.500 is,

00:54:19.900 man.

00:54:20.120 It's like,

00:54:20.380 because if

00:54:20.620 we're not

00:54:20.880 talking about

00:54:21.280 it,

00:54:21.380 we're not

00:54:21.640 even honoring

00:54:22.280 that it

00:54:22.600 was a part

00:54:23.140 of our

00:54:23.720 time.

00:54:26.260 100%,

00:54:26.620 dude,

00:54:26.960 and it's

00:54:27.320 tough,

00:54:27.700 dude,

00:54:28.020 and it's

00:54:28.880 not even

00:54:29.340 comfortable for

00:54:31.120 me to even

00:54:31.540 share,

00:54:31.920 dude,

00:54:32.060 but it's

00:54:33.140 bigger than

00:54:33.580 me.

00:54:34.640 You know

00:54:34.960 what I

00:54:35.080 mean?

00:54:35.480 You know

00:54:35.740 what I

00:54:35.840 mean?

00:54:36.340 It's almost

00:54:37.980 as if God

00:54:38.580 plucked me

00:54:39.460 out and was

00:54:39.880 like,

00:54:40.100 you're going

00:54:40.400 to experience

00:54:40.920 this,

00:54:41.520 and I

00:54:42.280 want,

00:54:42.740 because like,

00:54:44.240 I got,

00:54:44.800 you know,

00:54:45.240 I got the

00:54:45.740 ability to

00:54:46.300 share.

00:54:46.760 I got the

00:54:47.100 ability to

00:54:47.560 talk about

00:54:48.060 it.

00:54:48.320 You know,

00:54:48.480 I got the

00:54:48.860 ability.

00:54:49.580 Right.

00:54:49.740 You can

00:54:50.100 handle this.

00:54:51.280 You can

00:54:51.580 handle this.

00:54:52.580 Wow.

00:54:54.100 And,

00:54:54.540 um,

00:54:55.280 that's powerful

00:54:56.380 dog.

00:54:57.460 It is,

00:54:58.100 dude.

00:54:58.360 It is.

00:54:58.720 And it

00:54:58.940 blows me away.

00:54:59.620 Like,

00:54:59.800 like no pun

00:55:00.340 intended,

00:55:00.780 you know,

00:55:01.120 but it just

00:55:05.520 like,

00:55:06.020 you know,

00:55:06.320 when you think

00:55:06.880 about it,

00:55:07.260 dude,

00:55:07.400 it's just

00:55:07.720 like,

00:55:08.360 it has to

00:55:09.080 be that I

00:55:09.700 was selected

00:55:10.340 because you

00:55:11.360 figure it

00:55:11.700 like,

00:55:11.900 I have

00:55:12.180 a 10

00:55:12.480 inch shoe

00:55:12.960 and it's

00:55:14.700 probably like

00:55:15.160 what?

00:55:15.600 Four inches

00:55:16.180 wide.

00:55:17.400 And I

00:55:17.920 stepped on

00:55:18.340 something that's

00:55:18.980 thick as a

00:55:19.420 ruler,

00:55:20.080 you know,

00:55:21.500 and I'm

00:55:22.340 walking on

00:55:22.800 the earth,

00:55:23.340 dude,

00:55:23.520 what are the

00:55:23.860 odds of that

00:55:24.680 foot landed

00:55:25.600 on that part

00:55:26.360 and I lose

00:55:27.840 both legs

00:55:28.640 and nothing

00:55:29.560 else,

00:55:29.920 dude?

00:55:30.160 You know

00:55:30.360 what I mean?

00:55:30.560 I got my 0.99

00:55:30.960 genitals, 1.00

00:55:31.540 I got my

00:55:31.920 guts,

00:55:32.340 I got my

00:55:32.700 mind,

00:55:33.560 you know,

00:55:34.540 like,

00:55:34.880 you know what

00:55:35.200 I mean?

00:55:35.360 So it's like,

00:55:36.120 how does that

00:55:36.740 happen,

00:55:37.160 dude?

00:55:37.400 And it,

00:55:38.780 you know,

00:55:39.060 sometimes you gain

00:55:39.920 more than you

00:55:41.500 gain more than

00:55:42.100 you lose,

00:55:42.620 dude,

00:55:43.020 you know,

00:55:43.480 and you

00:55:44.520 know what I

00:55:44.820 mean?

00:55:45.500 I mean,

00:55:46.240 I can only

00:55:46.900 imagine,

00:55:47.800 you know,

00:55:48.220 I mean,

00:55:48.500 it's funny,

00:55:49.000 you know,

00:55:49.280 it's like,

00:55:49.840 we've only

00:55:50.660 spoken with one

00:55:51.380 other person

00:55:51.880 that's kind

00:55:52.260 of a miracle

00:55:52.700 and it's

00:55:53.000 kind of

00:55:53.300 different.

00:55:53.700 I mean,

00:55:53.800 it felt like

00:55:54.100 I got hit

00:55:54.340 by a train,

00:55:54.980 he got trained

00:55:55.600 up,

00:55:56.700 but,

00:55:56.980 yeah,

00:55:58.180 I got

00:55:58.620 blasted by a

00:56:01.660 train and

00:56:02.040 he said he

00:56:02.520 wanted to,

00:56:03.240 he ready to

00:56:03.720 run it back,

00:56:04.540 babe, 0.51

00:56:04.760 you know what I'm

00:56:05.040 saying?

00:56:05.220 Like,

00:56:05.640 he said that

00:56:06.480 there's some,

00:56:07.680 I think there's

00:56:08.900 a greater

00:56:09.380 currency in

00:56:12.400 existence that

00:56:15.060 we can't

00:56:15.860 really put our

00:56:16.860 hands on.

00:56:18.180 I think as

00:56:18.860 Americans,

00:56:19.340 we've gotten

00:56:19.820 far away from

00:56:20.900 it with our

00:56:21.300 society,

00:56:22.300 you know,

00:56:22.860 in some ways

00:56:23.560 we've taken a

00:56:24.140 detour in some

00:56:24.980 ways,

00:56:25.380 there's some

00:56:26.040 currency that

00:56:26.860 we don't

00:56:27.760 really know,

00:56:28.560 sometimes we

00:56:29.500 can feel it

00:56:30.020 and some

00:56:30.640 people get

00:56:31.120 closer to

00:56:31.860 it and

00:56:32.720 it feels like

00:56:34.160 some of that

00:56:34.660 maybe is what

00:56:35.200 you're talking

00:56:35.680 about.

00:56:37.000 Yeah,

00:56:37.560 man,

00:56:37.780 dude,

00:56:38.040 so you

00:56:38.720 won't,

00:56:39.860 go on,

00:56:40.540 so July 15,

00:56:42.460 2010,

00:56:44.180 we were in

00:56:45.300 Barjah,

00:56:45.720 Afghanistan,

00:56:47.480 it's in the

00:56:48.760 Helmand province

00:56:49.600 and that,

00:56:51.220 I'll just talk

00:56:51.800 about that

00:56:52.080 particular day

00:56:52.740 because,

00:56:53.280 I mean,

00:56:53.460 we could be

00:56:53.820 on a whole

00:56:54.200 podcast and

00:56:54.780 talk about

00:56:55.180 the whole

00:56:55.360 deployment,

00:56:55.720 but I

00:56:57.020 was only

00:56:57.460 there for

00:56:57.860 like two

00:56:58.180 and a half

00:56:58.520 weeks,

00:56:58.880 man,

00:56:59.040 of full

00:56:59.420 combat

00:56:59.720 operations

00:57:00.240 and we

00:57:03.140 were just

00:57:03.720 walking

00:57:04.120 through the

00:57:06.080 way it was

00:57:06.600 designed,

00:57:07.200 man,

00:57:07.400 it was,

00:57:08.520 if you could

00:57:09.280 imagine,

00:57:10.000 like a

00:57:10.480 cornfield,

00:57:12.220 but it's not

00:57:13.200 corn,

00:57:13.680 it's like

00:57:13.920 opium,

00:57:14.500 dude,

00:57:14.780 or not,

00:57:16.080 yeah,

00:57:16.300 it's opium

00:57:16.780 and weed

00:57:17.700 and,

00:57:18.540 you know,

00:57:18.720 they're growing

00:57:19.100 the dark arts

00:57:19.860 over there,

00:57:20.300 if you know

00:57:20.560 what I mean.

00:57:20.960 thing.

00:57:21.160 Oh,

00:57:21.440 yeah.

00:57:22.240 And,

00:57:22.700 um,

00:57:23.760 uh,

00:57:25.060 we just,

00:57:25.660 I,

00:57:26.220 I cross

00:57:26.780 over these

00:57:27.480 two little,

00:57:28.080 uh,

00:57:28.680 fields and

00:57:30.420 my buddy,

00:57:31.180 you know,

00:57:31.920 Andy Powell

00:57:32.560 says,

00:57:33.100 you know,

00:57:33.960 from what I

00:57:34.520 can remember,

00:57:35.100 he says,

00:57:35.660 oh,

00:57:35.920 there's,

00:57:36.340 um,

00:57:36.980 there's an

00:57:37.760 indicator,

00:57:38.540 a little piece

00:57:39.940 of,

00:57:40.200 you know,

00:57:40.820 uh,

00:57:41.160 cloth or

00:57:41.680 whatever.

00:57:42.000 I still don't

00:57:42.400 even know what

00:57:42.900 it was really,

00:57:43.460 but he said

00:57:44.580 there was an

00:57:44.900 indicator,

00:57:45.420 so he

00:57:45.780 holds his

00:57:46.180 patrol and,

00:57:48.720 um,

00:57:49.600 we started,

00:57:50.560 we took a,

00:57:51.540 and obviously

00:57:52.080 I was the closest

00:57:52.700 one to like

00:57:53.840 the junction,

00:57:54.320 so I was like,

00:57:55.760 me being a

00:57:56.220 sergeant of

00:57:56.660 marines,

00:57:57.040 I was just

00:57:57.440 like,

00:57:57.820 hey man,

00:57:58.200 I'm not

00:57:58.460 going to ask

00:57:59.100 someone else

00:58:00.520 to go do

00:58:00.920 the heavy

00:58:01.260 lifting,

00:58:01.960 you know what

00:58:02.260 I mean?

00:58:02.440 Like,

00:58:02.600 if you're

00:58:02.800 going to be

00:58:03.040 a leader,

00:58:03.440 you got to,

00:58:04.060 you got to 1.00

00:58:04.720 shovel shit 1.00

00:58:05.160 too, 1.00

00:58:05.460 you know?

00:58:06.320 And what's

00:58:06.600 the junction?

00:58:07.220 When you say

00:58:07.480 a junction,

00:58:08.020 what does that

00:58:08.320 mean?

00:58:09.420 So that,

00:58:10.080 so there

00:58:10.580 was,

00:58:10.920 there was

00:58:11.340 two properties

00:58:13.120 joining

00:58:13.860 together and

00:58:15.060 they were

00:58:15.340 separated.

00:58:16.000 Thanks,

00:58:16.320 man,

00:58:16.540 they were

00:58:16.780 separated

00:58:17.180 by,

00:58:17.660 uh,

00:58:19.040 little

00:58:19.400 canals.

00:58:20.900 There was

00:58:21.400 two canals,

00:58:22.140 you know what

00:58:22.340 I mean?

00:58:22.520 So I had

00:58:22.980 to cross over,

00:58:24.280 um,

00:58:24.800 both of those

00:58:25.480 to go back

00:58:26.500 and look at,

00:58:27.200 you know,

00:58:28.120 looking for,

00:58:28.940 at the time

00:58:29.360 we were

00:58:29.600 finding like,

00:58:30.880 you know,

00:58:31.560 uh,

00:58:31.860 sniper positions,

00:58:32.860 we were

00:58:33.060 finding machine

00:58:33.600 gun positions,

00:58:34.280 um,

00:58:35.680 the I,

00:58:36.300 the IED

00:58:36.920 threat,

00:58:37.360 the bomb,

00:58:37.920 the improvised

00:58:38.540 explosive device

00:58:39.380 threat was

00:58:40.680 like in the

00:58:41.480 trees.

00:58:42.040 Well,

00:58:42.120 we got intel

00:58:42.780 that they

00:58:43.060 would be

00:58:43.260 putting them

00:58:43.540 in the

00:58:43.760 trees.

00:58:44.140 So I

00:58:44.940 was looking

00:58:45.300 all over the

00:58:45.800 place,

00:58:45.960 but I

00:58:46.240 wasn't

00:58:46.460 necessarily

00:58:46.820 looking for

00:58:47.660 an IED

00:58:48.620 on the

00:58:48.980 ground,

00:58:49.400 you know?

00:58:50.560 And,

00:58:51.060 um,

00:58:51.680 so there

00:58:52.060 was,

00:58:52.480 uh,

00:58:53.040 11 guys.

00:58:53.900 I was

00:58:54.100 number 11

00:58:54.620 in our

00:58:55.360 little stick,

00:58:56.300 our little

00:58:56.660 formation,

00:58:57.680 our line.

00:58:59.700 And then

00:59:00.500 I was

00:59:01.400 number 12

00:59:01.920 when I

00:59:02.200 crossed over

00:59:02.660 it again.

00:59:03.560 And then

00:59:04.180 on the

00:59:04.480 13th time

00:59:05.420 is when

00:59:06.020 it,

00:59:06.880 uh,

00:59:07.700 uh,

00:59:08.740 I remember

00:59:09.940 looking down

00:59:10.660 and I

00:59:12.140 remember

00:59:12.360 like the,

00:59:12.780 the,

00:59:13.060 the,

00:59:13.520 the light

00:59:16.120 from the

00:59:17.020 kinetic energy

00:59:17.720 of the

00:59:17.960 blast just

00:59:18.440 like enveloping

00:59:19.120 me in.

00:59:20.860 And then

00:59:21.620 I felt all

00:59:22.500 the little

00:59:22.740 pebbles on

00:59:23.220 my face.

00:59:24.480 And I

00:59:25.020 remember like

00:59:25.580 making the

00:59:26.020 little sound

00:59:26.760 of just

00:59:27.460 stepping on

00:59:28.060 that bomb

00:59:28.600 due to

00:59:28.900 the little

00:59:29.240 sound that

00:59:29.680 I made.

00:59:30.360 It was

00:59:30.940 like a,

00:59:31.900 you know

00:59:32.820 what I mean?

00:59:33.580 And then,

00:59:34.320 uh,

00:59:35.160 but what,

00:59:35.740 what,

00:59:36.060 what made

00:59:36.880 it,

00:59:37.140 what confirmed

00:59:37.780 it that I

00:59:38.440 was,

00:59:38.940 I was the

00:59:39.400 one that got

00:59:39.760 hurt was it

00:59:41.120 shot me

00:59:41.600 straight up in

00:59:42.080 the air and

00:59:44.020 I saw my

00:59:44.540 shadow from

00:59:45.440 an aerial view

00:59:46.220 on the ground.

00:59:47.020 No way.

00:59:48.400 And I was

00:59:49.080 like,

00:59:49.300 you gotta be 0.99

00:59:49.960 fucking kidding 0.99

00:59:50.960 me, 1.00

00:59:51.240 dog.

00:59:51.520 I'm it.

00:59:52.160 I'm the,

00:59:52.580 I'm tag,

00:59:53.220 you're it. 1.00

00:59:53.900 Damn. 1.00

00:59:55.200 Come on, 1.00

00:59:56.180 man.

00:59:56.820 And so,

00:59:57.660 so you could

00:59:58.340 see,

00:59:58.640 so the sun

00:59:59.220 you were blocking,

01:00:00.260 you could see

01:00:00.660 your shadow and

01:00:01.180 you're like,

01:00:01.480 oh my God,

01:00:02.340 this happened to

01:00:02.940 me.

01:00:04.060 Yeah.

01:00:04.540 And so you

01:00:04.920 were able to

01:00:05.460 have that

01:00:05.860 thought,

01:00:06.180 you were able

01:00:06.500 to have that

01:00:06.860 conscious thought,

01:00:07.480 oh my God,

01:00:07.880 this happened

01:00:08.320 to me.

01:00:08.780 Wow.

01:00:09.600 A hundred

01:00:09.840 percent.

01:00:10.400 Yeah,

01:00:10.620 man.

01:00:11.160 And then I

01:00:11.860 landed on my

01:00:12.460 face and I

01:00:14.460 remember like,

01:00:15.000 I remember

01:00:15.440 taking out the

01:00:16.040 dust out of

01:00:16.460 my mouth,

01:00:17.060 dude.

01:00:17.900 And,

01:00:18.380 um,

01:00:19.360 uh,

01:00:20.400 and I

01:00:21.000 remember just

01:00:21.380 immediately thinking

01:00:22.080 about my

01:00:22.460 friends being

01:00:23.500 like,

01:00:24.000 dude,

01:00:24.780 I don't want,

01:00:25.920 I want to be

01:00:26.840 strong for them.

01:00:27.600 I want to be,

01:00:28.600 um,

01:00:29.880 I want to be

01:00:30.720 like tough for

01:00:31.640 them.

01:00:31.900 And I

01:00:33.420 don't want to

01:00:33.960 show like,

01:00:34.720 I don't want

01:00:35.040 to wince or

01:00:36.340 cry,

01:00:36.940 you know,

01:00:38.220 um,

01:00:38.760 because they

01:00:39.220 don't need an

01:00:39.660 audio track to

01:00:40.740 this movie that

01:00:42.140 they're going to

01:00:42.440 be with for the

01:00:43.040 rest of their

01:00:43.380 lives.

01:00:43.680 you know what I

01:00:44.040 mean?

01:00:45.340 And,

01:00:45.780 um,

01:00:46.960 you know,

01:00:47.440 that's pretty

01:00:47.740 selfless of

01:00:48.420 you.

01:00:50.120 Dude.

01:00:50.580 And thank you

01:00:51.200 for saying that,

01:00:51.820 man.

01:00:52.040 But,

01:00:52.360 uh,

01:00:53.320 the,

01:00:53.760 the dudes,

01:00:55.240 the thing that

01:00:56.220 you experience in

01:00:58.140 combat that nobody

01:00:59.120 really talks about

01:01:00.020 is the unconditional

01:01:02.500 love you have for

01:01:03.500 your brothers,

01:01:04.140 dude,

01:01:04.460 or your sisters.

01:01:05.240 You know what I

01:01:05.520 mean?

01:01:05.680 I didn't have no

01:01:06.480 female Marines by 1.00

01:01:07.760 me,

01:01:08.020 man,

01:01:08.260 but,

01:01:08.580 um,

01:01:09.940 it was all

01:01:10.600 dudes,

01:01:11.820 you know what

01:01:12.180 I mean?

01:01:12.380 So,

01:01:12.680 and it's like,

01:01:13.960 it's the tenderness

01:01:15.100 of love that like a

01:01:16.980 mother would give to 0.99

01:01:17.620 her child.

01:01:18.660 You know what I

01:01:19.300 mean?

01:01:19.600 And,

01:01:20.100 um,

01:01:20.840 I was a machine

01:01:21.500 gunner dude.

01:01:22.020 So as a machine

01:01:23.140 gunner,

01:01:23.380 you get attached,

01:01:24.300 uh,

01:01:25.780 to like a regular

01:01:26.640 like,

01:01:27.000 uh,

01:01:28.220 infantrymen squad,

01:01:29.820 you know?

01:01:31.440 And,

01:01:31.980 um,

01:01:32.620 um,

01:01:33.360 because you're like a 0.98

01:01:34.180 duty expert,

01:01:34.980 this is your specialty

01:01:35.820 weapon,

01:01:36.280 right?

01:01:37.480 You know what I

01:01:38.060 mean?

01:01:38.320 And so do you,

01:01:39.520 were you,

01:01:40.060 did you stay conscious

01:01:40.920 the whole time?

01:01:42.300 The whole time,

01:01:43.340 dog,

01:01:43.740 the whole time.

01:01:45.180 And,

01:01:45.700 uh,

01:01:46.820 um,

01:01:47.740 you would appreciate

01:01:48.520 this part,

01:01:49.380 man.

01:01:49.740 You're like,

01:01:50.120 when you talk about

01:01:50.940 like your dad and

01:01:52.720 like your mom and

01:01:54.220 like you being like,

01:01:55.420 uh,

01:01:55.680 I,

01:01:56.720 I could have

01:01:57.280 appreciated my dad

01:01:58.140 more if I didn't

01:01:58.940 judge him so hard.

01:02:00.040 You know what I

01:02:00.600 mean?

01:02:00.680 Like I felt that bro.

01:02:01.700 And like,

01:02:02.020 it's so true,

01:02:03.120 dude.

01:02:03.300 Like,

01:02:04.060 I think a lot of

01:02:05.600 times these things

01:02:06.260 happen to us and

01:02:07.800 right away we want to

01:02:08.520 put judgment on it.

01:02:10.060 You know,

01:02:10.540 instead of just seeing

01:02:11.260 it for what it is

01:02:11.840 and being like,

01:02:12.380 okay,

01:02:12.640 man, 1.00

01:02:12.880 this is my shit 1.00

01:02:13.600 sandwich. 1.00

01:02:14.020 I got to eat.

01:02:14.980 Wow.

01:02:15.460 Hey,

01:02:15.640 man,

01:02:15.880 you know,

01:02:16.380 you know,

01:02:17.560 pass the dressing

01:02:18.380 or pass the

01:02:19.400 laid chips,

01:02:20.080 you know,

01:02:20.280 let's,

01:02:20.700 you know,

01:02:20.960 Hey man,

01:02:21.980 like let's just

01:02:22.540 make the best of

01:02:23.260 it. 0.99

01:02:23.360 damn cause you 1.00

01:02:25.700 know what I mean? 0.99

01:02:26.360 Well,

01:02:26.580 that's a powerful

01:02:27.340 attitude because I

01:02:28.300 don't know if a lot

01:02:28.960 of people are going

01:02:29.600 to have that.

01:02:31.820 Hmm.

01:02:32.600 Yeah.

01:02:32.960 I got to give

01:02:33.440 credit to my wife,

01:02:35.400 man.

01:02:36.040 You know what I

01:02:36.420 mean?

01:02:36.540 Like you're,

01:02:37.140 um,

01:02:37.420 so you were married

01:02:38.360 when you were in,

01:02:39.140 when you went in.

01:02:40.420 Wow.

01:02:40.860 Yeah,

01:02:41.080 man.

01:02:41.300 I've been married.

01:02:41.840 I've been married to

01:02:42.320 my high school

01:02:42.740 sweetheart,

01:02:43.220 dog.

01:02:43.860 Dang dog. 1.00

01:02:45.140 Pervert. 0.98

01:02:45.540 My senior,

01:02:50.400 uh,

01:02:50.660 my senior prom,

01:02:51.600 bro.

01:02:52.340 Dang.

01:02:52.820 Cause that's nice.

01:02:55.280 And is your wife,

01:02:56.280 are you Latino or no?

01:02:58.020 Uh,

01:02:58.280 yeah,

01:02:58.520 man.

01:02:58.820 Oh,

01:02:59.000 that's cool,

01:02:59.640 man.

01:03:00.180 Yeah.

01:03:00.380 I think,

01:03:00.720 are you guys Mexican

01:03:01.480 or what kind of Latino

01:03:02.360 is it? 0.94

01:03:03.720 Mexican baby.

01:03:04.560 Yeah.

01:03:04.840 I would like to be

01:03:05.420 Mexican.

01:03:07.180 You said that before, 0.99

01:03:08.360 dog.

01:03:08.720 Yeah.

01:03:08.980 I think maybe next time,

01:03:10.100 you know,

01:03:10.300 I don't know how it,

01:03:11.220 you know,

01:03:11.340 exactly what happens,

01:03:12.340 but I could do it.

01:03:13.100 I think I would dig it,

01:03:14.120 man.

01:03:15.240 Oh yeah,

01:03:15.680 dude. 0.98

01:03:16.020 It'd be fucking fun. 0.99

01:03:18.040 It is fun. 1.00

01:03:19.320 It is fun.

01:03:20.640 And it's tasty.

01:03:22.360 Oh yeah.

01:03:22.900 Yeah.

01:03:23.540 Yeah.

01:03:25.360 Yeah.

01:03:25.760 If I,

01:03:26.160 everywhere I show up,

01:03:26.880 there's chips. 0.98

01:03:27.540 I'm fucking cool as hell, 0.99

01:03:28.960 dog. 0.99

01:03:29.360 You know?

01:03:31.200 Yeah.

01:03:31.600 When you see those guys, 1.00

01:03:32.740 fucking all of that shit, 1.00

01:03:34.100 those dudes dancing, 1.00

01:03:35.040 those old dudes.

01:03:36.200 Yeah.

01:03:36.680 Yeah.

01:03:36.920 Yeah.

01:03:38.720 Um,

01:03:39.400 well take me through a little bit

01:03:40.520 more of this.

01:03:40.940 So I want to know what is some

01:03:42.900 of those moments,

01:03:43.540 like what goes on there when

01:03:44.820 you're,

01:03:45.120 so you're awake and this is

01:03:46.360 happening,

01:03:46.800 man.

01:03:47.300 Are you still able to be a

01:03:49.280 leader?

01:03:49.540 Cause if you're in a leader

01:03:50.500 position,

01:03:51.060 I'm sure it's tough because

01:03:52.680 you're supposed to be a

01:03:53.600 leader.

01:03:53.860 And now you are in a

01:03:56.420 predicament that most people

01:03:59.080 would say,

01:03:59.580 this is,

01:04:00.300 you know,

01:04:00.840 how could you be a leader

01:04:01.980 right now?

01:04:03.180 So when it happened,

01:04:04.280 dude,

01:04:05.060 you know what I thought?

01:04:06.380 My,

01:04:06.740 my first thought after I was

01:04:08.300 like,

01:04:08.540 yo,

01:04:08.680 I'm hurt.

01:04:10.000 My boy started working on

01:04:11.340 me.

01:04:11.780 My next like real thought

01:04:13.380 about myself was my

01:04:15.300 warring days were over.

01:04:17.340 Like I would no longer be a

01:04:19.720 warrior in the sense of

01:04:21.100 like,

01:04:21.520 you know what I mean?

01:04:23.200 It would be,

01:04:23.960 you know,

01:04:24.900 it would be now dude,

01:04:27.660 the war is right here between

01:04:28.980 my ears.

01:04:29.640 You know what I mean?

01:04:30.060 Like that's the war dude.

01:04:32.160 That's the battlefield.

01:04:33.260 You know what I mean?

01:04:33.740 And to be honest with you,

01:04:34.440 it's the greatest coliseum,

01:04:35.660 the greatest battlefield ever

01:04:36.760 created,

01:04:37.300 man.

01:04:38.260 You know what I mean?

01:04:38.600 Because you're stuck with

01:04:39.500 yourself.

01:04:40.000 You know what I mean?

01:04:40.620 When you say stuff like that,

01:04:41.780 dude,

01:04:41.960 like it's so,

01:04:43.180 you know,

01:04:43.400 one time you were saying,

01:04:44.700 you go,

01:04:46.300 you're just sick of making all

01:04:48.020 these decisions.

01:04:48.620 Sometimes you just need a

01:04:49.340 break from yourself.

01:04:50.640 Like someone else,

01:04:52.520 you know,

01:04:52.920 like,

01:04:53.260 you know,

01:04:53.720 but we can't and we're with

01:04:55.420 ourselves every day,

01:04:56.520 dude.

01:04:57.300 You know,

01:04:57.760 it really matters what we tell

01:04:59.060 ourselves,

01:04:59.520 dog.

01:04:59.800 It really matters.

01:05:00.820 Like,

01:05:01.860 um,

01:05:02.540 Hey man,

01:05:02.940 feeling down,

01:05:04.000 you know,

01:05:04.180 if we're feeling down and out,

01:05:05.200 dog,

01:05:05.420 that's,

01:05:05.640 that's okay.

01:05:06.940 You know what I mean?

01:05:07.640 Like,

01:05:07.840 it's okay,

01:05:08.460 bro.

01:05:08.740 Like,

01:05:09.140 you know,

01:05:09.500 we can,

01:05:10.640 we can find it.

01:05:11.740 Like,

01:05:11.960 this is only temporary,

01:05:13.120 you know what I mean?

01:05:13.600 Like,

01:05:13.760 this is only,

01:05:15.040 and like,

01:05:15.460 to be honest with you,

01:05:16.020 man,

01:05:16.140 like,

01:05:16.980 um,

01:05:18.000 you,

01:05:18.500 like you,

01:05:19.000 like you bring this out of me,

01:05:20.300 you know what I mean?

01:05:20.780 Like,

01:05:21.400 because you're so authentic.

01:05:22.680 You're so like,

01:05:23.720 Oh,

01:05:24.200 thanks man.

01:05:24.980 Well,

01:05:25.500 yeah.

01:05:26.360 You know what I mean?

01:05:26.940 Like you,

01:05:27.740 you're,

01:05:28.280 you're,

01:05:28.780 well,

01:05:32.940 it was like his dad left when he was a kid.

01:05:34.960 And he just,

01:05:35.460 he said,

01:05:35.780 I never learned how to be a man,

01:05:37.340 you know?

01:05:37.820 And it's just,

01:05:38.360 there's so many guys out there who,

01:05:40.580 you know,

01:05:41.100 we're all, 0.99

01:05:41.460 everybody's going through shit. 0.99

01:05:42.780 And so, 0.99

01:05:43.420 you know,

01:05:44.240 you sharing your story,

01:05:45.420 it's like,

01:05:46.140 you know,

01:05:47.360 we're all out here trying to survive,

01:05:48.860 man.

01:05:50.020 Bro,

01:05:50.500 dude,

01:05:50.920 do you want to know how I found you the first episode,

01:05:52.880 Doug?

01:05:53.080 Yeah.

01:05:54.680 Was when you,

01:05:55.520 when you,

01:05:55.820 when you brought in Santa Claus,

01:05:57.100 bro.

01:05:57.540 Oh,

01:05:57.800 really?

01:05:58.080 Yeah.

01:05:59.640 Dude.

01:06:00.240 So,

01:06:00.840 uh,

01:06:01.160 I'm from Modesto.

01:06:02.040 So like by like Stockton.

01:06:03.860 Uh-huh.

01:06:04.420 Oh yeah.

01:06:04.940 A lot of missing people up there,

01:06:06.340 Doug. 1.00

01:06:07.920 Everybody who up there is fucking missing dog. 1.00

01:06:11.260 Damn. 1.00

01:06:13.020 You sent us like, 1.00

01:06:13.780 Hey man,

01:06:14.140 like Bobby's address is the right.

01:06:16.200 You know what I mean?

01:06:16.640 Nobody's here.

01:06:17.720 Bobby ain't here.

01:06:18.920 Where's Bobby bro.

01:06:20.660 And that was the realest Santa,

01:06:22.140 bro.

01:06:22.360 That dude,

01:06:22.900 I think,

01:06:23.900 man,

01:06:25.280 he was a man.

01:06:26.140 We need to bring him back.

01:06:27.240 Yeah,

01:06:27.560 bro.

01:06:27.800 I,

01:06:28.080 it's so funny.

01:06:28.840 I went,

01:06:29.800 I got a date.

01:06:31.160 So I went this week.

01:06:32.540 I got some,

01:06:33.200 trying to get some nice stuff for my place to look at, 0.98

01:06:35.380 like trying to make it look like I'm fucking, 0.96

01:06:37.280 you know, 0.99

01:06:37.500 part of the holidays and shit. 0.94

01:06:40.220 So I'm at this, 0.99

01:06:41.340 I'm at this Christmas store. 0.99

01:06:44.560 I'm buying like different shit. 1.00

01:06:47.300 And it's all women in there, 1.00

01:06:49.240 bro.

01:06:49.400 So sad.

01:06:50.400 And,

01:06:50.900 uh,

01:06:51.820 and I saw Santa's in there and one of the dudes doing the pictures with Santa that he recognized me.

01:06:56.900 He's like,

01:06:57.560 dude,

01:06:57.820 I saw you on Joe Rogan.

01:06:58.920 Will you come get a picture with Santa dog? 0.99

01:07:00.940 And so I'm fucking in there getting me and Santa putting up gang signs. 0.99

01:07:07.320 Oh man. 0.99

01:07:08.520 Um,

01:07:09.040 I have this question for you.

01:07:10.880 I have this question for you.

01:07:12.360 How,

01:07:13.640 when you have times like Christmas,

01:07:15.380 you have times like,

01:07:16.820 um,

01:07:18.400 did you have moments where it was hard for you to say,

01:07:21.040 I just have to keep living my life right now.

01:07:23.220 I can't give into the toughness of this.

01:07:26.640 I,

01:07:27.140 you know,

01:07:27.500 I can't,

01:07:28.580 you know,

01:07:29.980 we started off this episode talking about how we can't wait till everything's perfect for us to live our lives,

01:07:35.140 you know?

01:07:36.200 That's so true,

01:07:37.120 Doug.

01:07:37.560 And I just wonder what some of your,

01:07:39.340 like,

01:07:39.540 what,

01:07:39.840 what is some of the experience like that you've taken away a little bit?

01:07:42.580 I know that's a huge question and we can get into more of this later.

01:07:45.240 I want to walk through a lot of it again.

01:07:47.060 I think that,

01:07:49.080 um,

01:07:50.020 do like,

01:07:50.700 you know,

01:07:50.940 like if I had to,

01:07:53.120 if I had to say like,

01:07:54.700 like there was a lot of times where I felt guilty for going to Christmas or having Thanksgiving because my buddies who are dead,

01:08:06.840 they don't get to have that opportunity anymore.

01:08:08.980 You know,

01:08:09.620 I,

01:08:09.880 I felt guilty falling in love with my wife or being intimate with my wife,

01:08:14.980 uh,

01:08:16.280 you know,

01:08:16.780 or holding my kids,

01:08:18.480 kissing on them and loving on them and being like,

01:08:20.460 my boys never get to do this.

01:08:21.760 Some of the dudes that got killed were fathers,

01:08:24.220 bro.

01:08:24.800 And their kids,

01:08:25.520 that's it.

01:08:26.120 You know what I mean?

01:08:26.660 And it's just like,

01:08:27.660 you know,

01:08:28.620 I think about that stuff all the time,

01:08:30.200 you know?

01:08:30.680 And a lot of times for me,

01:08:32.140 dude,

01:08:32.300 it's just like,

01:08:32.860 I had to figure out sometimes dude,

01:08:35.680 like sometimes it's easier to know how to live when you,

01:08:43.820 sometimes you're so hurt and you're like,

01:08:46.500 dude,

01:08:46.640 like I'm so broken.

01:08:47.800 I can't do this.

01:08:48.900 I can't do that.

01:08:50.540 But you know what?

01:08:52.940 I'm going to be there for my kids.

01:08:55.840 No,

01:08:56.280 I'm not going to let my,

01:08:57.420 my hangups,

01:09:00.600 right?

01:09:00.900 Air quotes,

01:09:01.380 hangups or,

01:09:02.100 um,

01:09:03.460 my disability,

01:09:05.160 air quotes,

01:09:05.660 disability look like something to where my kids can't experience Disneyland.

01:09:12.880 You know what I mean?

01:09:14.900 Like,

01:09:15.220 I,

01:09:15.400 you know,

01:09:15.520 like,

01:09:15.780 uh,

01:09:16.320 even though the loud fireworks freak me out,

01:09:19.300 the mass group of people freak me out,

01:09:22.020 you know,

01:09:22.300 I can choke it down because looking at them,

01:09:25.660 they can ground me because they're,

01:09:28.120 they're smiling.

01:09:29.080 You know,

01:09:29.200 if I'm,

01:09:29.460 if I'm living for my friends that got killed,

01:09:32.220 sometimes it's easier.

01:09:34.700 I'm not ready yet.

01:09:35.760 Right.

01:09:36.040 Julian's not ready yet,

01:09:37.060 but if I can think about what,

01:09:38.720 what would it be like for Cody?

01:09:40.380 Be a Disneylander or what,

01:09:41.860 what would it be like for,

01:09:42.880 you know,

01:09:43.640 uh,

01:09:43.940 Anthony Mattione to be there or what would it be like for Jason Calo to be

01:09:47.620 there?

01:09:48.260 You know what I mean?

01:09:49.020 Like these guys are real dudes,

01:09:50.420 man.

01:09:50.640 And like,

01:09:51.340 sometimes it's easier.

01:09:52.640 Sometimes it's easier to live for somebody else,

01:09:54.460 man.

01:09:54.880 For the time being,

01:09:56.400 give yourself some space,

01:09:57.560 man.

01:09:58.320 You know what I mean?

01:09:58.860 Because,

01:09:59.260 um,

01:10:00.880 the idea is not to end it,

01:10:02.260 right.

01:10:02.600 It's not to give yourself a permanent solution to a temporary problem.

01:10:06.680 You know,

01:10:07.740 you can't,

01:10:08.600 you know what I mean?

01:10:10.480 Like,

01:10:10.920 you know,

01:10:11.160 there's,

01:10:11.500 there's,

01:10:11.700 you know,

01:10:12.000 so,

01:10:12.340 I mean,

01:10:12.520 especially the holidays,

01:10:13.440 man,

01:10:13.620 it's so hard on people,

01:10:14.620 dog.

01:10:15.360 You know,

01:10:15.640 you got people,

01:10:16.280 you know,

01:10:16.860 committing suicide and there's nothing wrong with that, 0.80

01:10:19.160 dude.

01:10:19.740 It's just that like,

01:10:20.760 I wish that,

01:10:22.400 I wish that they were asked for help.

01:10:25.940 Yeah.

01:10:26.360 Or,

01:10:26.620 or I wish that they would have found an anchor that to live for,

01:10:30.720 you know what I mean?

01:10:31.200 Be like,

01:10:31.600 Hey man,

01:10:31.920 I'm too weak right now.

01:10:33.600 I can't go through this anymore.

01:10:35.580 I'm going to live for somebody else.

01:10:37.140 Wow.

01:10:38.360 You know what I mean?

01:10:39.160 Yeah.

01:10:40.180 I'm going to let them carry me,

01:10:41.660 even though if they're not even here on this physical plane anymore,

01:10:44.140 they're in,

01:10:44.420 they're in the spirit world,

01:10:45.240 you know?

01:10:45.540 Yeah.

01:10:45.860 I'm going to live for them.

01:10:47.100 I'm going to live for them,

01:10:48.020 dude.

01:10:48.900 You know,

01:10:49.720 what would they,

01:10:50.380 you know,

01:10:50.600 what would they want?

01:10:51.460 You know,

01:10:52.600 well,

01:10:52.860 they might want a slice of chocolate cake.

01:10:54.480 Okay.

01:10:54.740 Let me eat it.

01:10:55.720 Cause they're inside me,

01:10:56.780 man.

01:10:56.940 I carry them in my heart.

01:10:59.120 Right.

01:10:59.560 They might.

01:11:00.000 Yeah.

01:11:00.200 What,

01:11:00.440 what they wouldn't give today to pick up their kid,

01:11:02.480 what they wouldn't give today to look over at their wife and smile,

01:11:05.840 what they wouldn't give today to,

01:11:07.760 uh,

01:11:08.600 laugh that maybe their steps getting a little bit slower or their boat,

01:11:13.120 their bones creak when they reach for something,

01:11:15.100 just little things like the littlest things.

01:11:18.420 Man.

01:11:18.860 Yeah,

01:11:19.020 man.

01:11:19.200 Or you fall down,

01:11:20.200 dude,

01:11:20.320 or you fall down,

01:11:21.120 like laugh at yourself,

01:11:22.340 Doug,

01:11:22.600 laugh at yourself,

01:11:23.620 Doug.

01:11:23.800 Like stop taking yourself so seriously,

01:11:25.900 man.

01:11:26.800 You know what I mean?

01:11:27.340 Like it,

01:11:28.100 it,

01:11:28.380 it,

01:11:28.480 it's a struggle,

01:11:29.660 man.

01:11:29.960 It is.

01:11:31.300 It is,

01:11:32.040 man.

01:11:32.480 Um,

01:11:33.680 Julian.

01:11:34.060 Yeah,

01:11:34.220 I would look,

01:11:34.660 I would love,

01:11:35.080 cause we're in Southern California.

01:11:36.120 We're not too far.

01:11:36.900 Do we'd love to,

01:11:37.400 you know,

01:11:37.580 let's figure it out.

01:11:38.400 We'll do something in the new year.

01:11:39.640 Let's come in and I would just love to go through this and,

01:11:42.000 and think about some more stuff,

01:11:43.620 man.

01:11:43.940 And I think that that's just a powerful note.

01:11:45.880 It's like,

01:11:46.500 you know,

01:11:47.400 those moments when you can't live for yourself to be unselfish enough and

01:11:51.560 perspective adjustment enough,

01:11:53.120 say,

01:11:53.480 well,

01:11:53.800 who can I live for?

01:11:54.760 Even if it's for the next five minutes to get me over that hump.

01:11:58.100 Cause sometimes it's just that hump. 1.00

01:11:59.660 It's just that fucking hump, 1.00

01:12:01.320 man. 1.00

01:12:02.560 Dude,

01:12:02.920 dude,

01:12:03.080 dude,

01:12:03.340 dude.

01:12:03.580 So like,

01:12:04.020 uh,

01:12:04.220 one of the biggest things that I've learned is that like the idea of

01:12:07.440 forever,

01:12:07.800 that like,

01:12:09.080 no matter how much water I poured on my legs,

01:12:11.280 bro,

01:12:12.100 it weren't going to grow back.

01:12:13.780 You know what I mean?

01:12:15.520 And sometimes even to this day,

01:12:17.760 bro,

01:12:17.880 like 12 years after it's so heavy to think about forever.

01:12:21.820 But if I just say,

01:12:23.320 you know what,

01:12:23.560 man,

01:12:23.680 you're an amputee today,

01:12:24.940 just focus on today.

01:12:27.300 You know what I mean?

01:12:27.920 Like,

01:12:28.180 that's all you're doing,

01:12:28.920 man.

01:12:29.200 You know,

01:12:29.540 like don't worry about,

01:12:31.520 you may not even live 40 years.

01:12:32.940 You may not even live 50 years.

01:12:34.220 You're like,

01:12:35.480 but you're living right now,

01:12:36.560 man.

01:12:36.820 And who do you want to live for today and dedicate that day for somebody

01:12:40.340 else,

01:12:40.700 man.

01:12:42.580 One step at a time,

01:12:43.840 man.

01:12:43.940 Or not one step at a time.

01:12:45.000 That's a horrible,

01:12:45.780 but you know what I'm saying,

01:12:46.680 bro. 1.00

01:12:47.040 Damn. 1.00

01:12:47.520 But you know what I mean? 0.99

01:12:48.600 Yeah,

01:12:49.300 bro.

01:12:50.400 Let's go.

01:12:53.440 You know,

01:12:54.540 dang,

01:12:55.000 boy,

01:12:55.200 you got them lifters on,

01:12:56.620 baby. 1.00

01:12:57.020 Damn, 1.00

01:12:57.540 dog. 1.00

01:12:59.080 You know what I mean?

01:13:00.000 Yeah,

01:13:01.920 bro. 1.00

01:13:03.160 Damn, 1.00

01:13:03.660 bro. 1.00

01:13:03.820 You that flamingo,

01:13:04.940 baby. 1.00

01:13:05.240 You got them bitches going. 1.00

01:13:06.820 Cause you know, 0.99

01:13:08.920 man,

01:13:09.200 you know,

01:13:09.620 well,

01:13:10.840 look,

01:13:11.040 man,

01:13:11.240 Merry Christmas to you,

01:13:12.280 dude.

01:13:12.500 We'll connect.

01:13:13.340 And yeah,

01:13:14.300 I would say sometime in January,

01:13:15.500 maybe late January.

01:13:16.200 I don't want to put an exact date on it,

01:13:17.440 but I'd love to do it in the spring and just get you in and learn a little bit

01:13:20.620 more about the experience and stuff.

01:13:22.060 So we're going to have,

01:13:23.140 we're going to start doing a few more episodes in the,

01:13:24.940 in the new year,

01:13:25.740 next year overall.

01:13:27.240 So it'll give us a little bit more space,

01:13:29.240 man,

01:13:29.540 but thanks for your service,

01:13:31.160 man.

01:13:31.360 Thanks for your perspective,

01:13:32.580 dude.

01:13:32.800 I think it's something that we all needed today.

01:13:36.420 So,

01:13:36.820 thank you.

01:13:38.940 Bro.

01:13:39.820 For people like you, 0.99

01:13:40.840 dog, 0.86

01:13:41.060 for people,

01:13:41.620 you know,

01:13:41.840 dude,

01:13:42.040 like honestly,

01:13:42.600 man,

01:13:42.780 like I would do it again,

01:13:44.860 man.

01:13:45.520 A hundred percent.

01:13:46.320 You wouldn't,

01:13:46.900 when that dude said that he'd get hit by that train,

01:13:48.620 bro.

01:13:49.580 You know,

01:13:50.040 I related to that because it's true.

01:13:51.800 Even if I knew the outcome and I,

01:13:54.880 you know,

01:13:55.080 everything played around the same,

01:13:56.480 dude,

01:13:56.560 I'd be like,

01:13:57.020 yeah,

01:13:57.360 let's go.

01:13:57.820 Send it because everything,

01:14:01.080 everything's better now.

01:14:03.500 You know what I mean?

01:14:04.240 Like everything's more fruitful.

01:14:05.720 Everything's more vibrant.

01:14:07.280 Everything,

01:14:07.520 you know what I mean?

01:14:09.080 Because,

01:14:09.500 you know,

01:14:10.180 when you,

01:14:10.540 when you tickle that death angel,

01:14:13.480 you know what I mean?

01:14:13.960 It was right there,

01:14:14.640 ready to collect,

01:14:15.500 dude. 1.00

01:14:16.540 Damn. 1.00

01:14:17.280 What else, 1.00

01:14:18.020 what else do you have to be afraid of,

01:14:19.400 dog?

01:14:20.040 You know what I mean?

01:14:20.520 Thank you,

01:14:23.460 man.

01:14:23.680 Thank you for your time,

01:14:24.620 brother.

01:14:24.840 Merry Christmas to you,

01:14:25.840 man.

01:14:27.140 Thank you guys for everything,

01:14:28.340 man.

01:14:28.460 Thanks for the opportunity.

01:14:29.620 Oh yeah,

01:14:29.900 you bet,

01:14:30.340 dude.

01:14:30.480 This has been really,

01:14:31.220 this has been,

01:14:32.360 man,

01:14:32.640 this couldn't have been more perfect for us and,

01:14:34.260 and just for the audience.

01:14:35.640 And I think just for,

01:14:38.280 man,

01:14:39.000 I,

01:14:39.420 uh,

01:14:40.260 I don't know,

01:14:43.380 you know,

01:14:43.860 you,

01:14:44.680 I don't know how you could do it.

01:14:47.520 It's hard to say to somebody,

01:14:48.720 man,

01:14:49.000 like you're,

01:14:50.520 you're doing this really well.

01:14:52.980 Oh,

01:14:53.520 dog.

01:14:57.720 You know,

01:14:58.340 man,

01:14:58.520 you're doing this really well.

01:14:59.620 It's effective,

01:15:00.360 you know?

01:15:00.940 Uh,

01:15:01.920 so,

01:15:03.360 you know,

01:15:03.960 thank you.

01:15:05.440 Oh,

01:15:05.940 dog.

01:15:06.420 Yeah.

01:15:07.540 You know,

01:15:08.120 dude,

01:15:08.320 like,

01:15:08.620 uh,

01:15:09.080 just real quick,

01:15:09.880 man.

01:15:10.080 I mean,

01:15:11.020 uh,

01:15:11.780 it's all those people do that,

01:15:13.040 like,

01:15:14.480 have helped me.

01:15:15.820 I have,

01:15:16.120 I have given me their best.

01:15:21.520 And like,

01:15:22.280 help put me back together.

01:15:24.440 You know,

01:15:25.780 I feel like I absorbed it.

01:15:30.660 Yeah.

01:15:31.840 And so it's like,

01:15:32.820 I'm here.

01:15:34.420 Let's have fun,

01:15:35.360 dude.

01:15:35.520 Yeah.

01:15:35.980 Let's do something,

01:15:36.860 dude.

01:15:37.080 You know,

01:15:38.040 let's go,

01:15:38.720 you know,

01:15:39.240 I don't know.

01:15:40.640 Let's live dog. 0.99

01:15:41.640 Let's live.

01:15:42.260 Let's live.

01:15:42.980 You know what I mean?

01:15:44.320 How do you say let's live in Spanish,

01:15:46.020 dog?

01:15:46.200 How do you say it?

01:15:47.020 Vive?

01:15:50.040 I think so,

01:15:51.000 man.

01:15:51.260 I think it's,

01:15:51.940 uh,

01:15:52.660 uh, 1.00

01:15:53.300 damn, 1.00

01:15:53.640 you don't know Spanish, 1.00

01:15:54.760 dog. 0.99

01:15:56.300 No way.

01:15:57.400 This is the problem,

01:15:58.540 bro.

01:15:59.020 See,

01:15:59.320 this is the problem,

01:16:00.120 dude. 1.00

01:16:00.440 All white people are teaching us fucking Spanish. 1.00

01:16:03.000 And then Mexican kids, 1.00

01:16:04.920 they don't,

01:16:05.240 the second generation,

01:16:06.260 they don't even learn it.

01:16:07.940 Dog.

01:16:08.300 I'm like fifth generation.

01:16:10.740 Oh,

01:16:11.160 you got it.

01:16:11.660 We were here,

01:16:12.500 bro.

01:16:13.880 And now we've been here a long time.

01:16:15.720 Gang,

01:16:16.120 baby.

01:16:16.360 We'll be in Benitos,

01:16:17.480 dude.

01:16:17.680 I'm glad that you're here.

01:16:18.480 I'm glad that I'm here.

01:16:19.580 I'm glad we get to walk this earth at the same time,

01:16:21.800 man.

01:16:22.160 We'll circle up with you,

01:16:23.300 bro.

01:16:23.820 Merry Christmas,

01:16:24.680 Julian Torres.

01:16:25.480 Thank you so much for your service.

01:16:27.760 Love you,

01:16:28.240 bro.

01:16:28.400 You guys be good,

01:16:29.080 man.

01:16:29.280 Gang,

01:16:29.540 gang.

01:16:29.980 Iwamente,

01:16:30.440 baby.

01:16:30.720 Gang,

01:16:31.000 gang.

01:16:31.360 man.

01:16:34.380 Thank you.

01:16:35.680 Thank you to everybody that served.

01:16:37.940 Thank you to everybody that,

01:16:38.800 that pays attention.

01:16:41.940 Thank you to everybody in the world that,

01:16:44.340 I don't know.

01:16:50.540 You know,

01:16:51.220 it's in,

01:16:52.060 you know,

01:16:52.360 this,

01:16:52.740 these are the moments that I live for.

01:16:58.860 These are the moments that,

01:17:00.220 that I live for.

01:17:04.880 They really are.

01:17:09.840 Just those moments when you feed,

01:17:11.440 when you just,

01:17:14.200 when you and somebody else,

01:17:15.460 somebody you don't even know,

01:17:16.800 y'all are on the same, 1.00

01:17:18.640 y'all are standing on the same fucking molecule. 0.97

01:17:21.300 of respect and compassion and understanding and hope. 0.98

01:17:34.300 You know,

01:17:35.080 we are lucky.

01:17:36.700 We are lucky to be able to feel that.

01:17:39.780 in this world.

01:17:45.740 Merry Christmas to everybody.

01:17:48.720 You know,

01:17:49.240 Merry Christmas and recognize there,

01:17:50.840 there are people out there that are keeping,

01:17:52.740 uh,

01:17:53.440 us in a place where we can enjoy.

01:17:56.220 And,

01:17:56.820 uh,

01:17:57.400 and celebrate.

01:17:59.980 Um,

01:18:00.500 and that we have good reason to.

01:18:05.100 Um,

01:18:05.920 love you guys.

01:18:07.820 Uh,

01:18:08.360 thank you,

01:18:08.820 Julian Torres.

01:18:09.660 Yeah,

01:18:09.940 it'd be great to have you come in,

01:18:11.400 brother.

01:18:11.600 We will figure that out.

01:18:13.580 Uh,

01:18:14.020 thank you to everybody that called.

01:18:16.060 Um,

01:18:16.780 and we can't wait.

01:18:18.340 We can't wait.

01:18:19.520 We can't wait to start living.

01:18:22.660 You know,

01:18:23.240 even if it's hard.

01:18:26.120 Uh,

01:18:26.680 you guys be good to yourselves,

01:18:28.020 baby,

01:18:28.280 and stay alive and stay living,

01:18:30.240 baby.

01:18:30.680 I'm upstairs.

01:18:33.580 Gang,

01:18:34.180 son,

01:18:34.880 we're off next week.

01:18:36.380 Uh,

01:18:36.660 we're taking a break.

01:18:38.680 Um,

01:18:39.480 and we will be back in the new year.

01:18:43.160 Uh,

01:18:43.900 we're excited.

01:18:45.960 Um,

01:18:46.560 we're hopeful.

01:18:48.160 And,

01:18:48.800 um,

01:18:49.820 we're going to keep going.

01:18:51.380 Cause that's what we do.

01:18:53.880 You guys be good to yourselves,

01:18:55.440 baby.

01:18:55.920 You deserve it.

01:18:56.840 Gang. 0.66

01:19:00.660 Ladies and gentlemen,

01:19:01.920 I'm Jonathan kite and welcome to kite club,

01:19:04.440 a podcast where I'll be sharing thoughts on things like current events,

01:19:08.300 standup stories,

01:19:09.120 and seven ways to pleasure your partner.

01:19:12.020 The answer may shock you.

01:19:13.340 Sometimes I'll interview my friends.

01:19:15.800 Sometimes I won't.

01:19:17.500 And as always,

01:19:18.360 I'll be joined by the voices in my head.

01:19:20.420 You have three new voice messages.

01:19:23.440 A lot of people are talking about kite club.

01:19:26.340 I've been talking about kite club for so long,

01:19:29.000 longer than anybody else.

01:19:30.620 So great.

01:19:31.280 Hi,

01:19:32.640 sweet.

01:19:32.860 Yeah.

01:19:33.600 Here's a deal. 1.00

01:19:34.940 Anyone who doesn't listen to kite club is a dodgy bloody wanker. 1.00

01:19:38.920 Jermaine. 0.99

01:19:39.520 I'll take a quarter pounder with cheese and a McFlurry.

01:19:43.980 Sorry,

01:19:44.340 sir,

01:19:44.480 but our ice cream machine is broken.

01:19:46.100 Oh,

01:19:46.400 no.

01:19:48.360 I think Tom Hanks just butt dialed me.

01:19:50.820 Anyway,

01:19:51.500 first rule of kite club is tell everyone about kite club.

01:19:55.020 Second rule of kite club is tell everyone about kite club.

01:19:59.220 Third rule,

01:20:00.160 like,

01:20:00.380 and subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts or watch us on YouTube.

01:20:04.140 Yeah.

01:20:04.980 And yes,

01:20:05.520 don't worry.

01:20:06.040 My Brad Pitt impression will get better.

This Past Weekend with Theo Von - December 20, 2022

E423 Merry Lloyd Christmas

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