This Past Weekend with Theo Von - E427 Back From France

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00:00:13.780 four nfl teams two conference championship games and only a few more shots to win big on the nfl

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00:01:03.400 with code theo minimum age and eligibility restrictions apply see show notes for details and make sure

00:01:10.220 that you are okay to gamble if you have a gambling problem this might not be for you breaking news

00:01:16.560 guys manscaped now sells beard products that's right they are once again revolutionizing men's

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00:02:04.200 at manscaped.com and use code t-h-e-o we now have be good to yourself crewnecks available in light blue

00:02:13.260 maroon and cement that embankment gang color you know it check these out along with the new windbreaker

00:02:20.600 at theo von store.com and thank you for your support i've got some new tour dates to announce

00:02:27.420 we will be going to newark new jersey may 10th um westbury new york may 11th

00:02:36.920 and you can get pre-sale tickets to those shows with code rat king starting wednesday january 25th

00:02:45.840 at 10 a.m eastern time and the general on sale starts friday january 27th at 10 a.m eastern time

00:02:53.720 i will be in las vegas on june 30th and july 2nd at the encore theater we've also added a seventh show

00:03:00.580 in austin on june 9th and a fourth show in houston on march 23rd um all other shows and dates uh

00:03:09.760 theo von.com slash t-o-u-r make sure to go there to get uh the best pricing available and um and follow

00:03:18.760 those links and uh looking forward to seeing you guys oh man i bought this button-up shirt

00:03:27.120 i got it on i don't know if i like it i don't know if i like being in this i don't like i will

00:03:35.080 say it i don't like being in this sort of shirt i don't like you know this the concept we're gonna

00:03:41.560 button you up boy we're gonna button you up you little nasty boy i just feel like they're like 0.98

00:03:50.780 getting you ready for i don't know i feel like somebody's just packaging you up 0.82

00:03:58.280 in some like a formatted i feel like i'm being formatted you ever formatted a document or something

00:04:05.680 on microsoft word and you got the document how you want it you did as much as you could you got a

00:04:13.560 couple extra commas in there if you like me i do that unlimited commas bro oh i do unlimited commas

00:04:24.360 tiffany comma ben comma 0.98

00:04:29.340 fucking the comma neighbor 0.99

00:04:33.280 all caps unlimited commas bro but then you do formatting and it puts it into 0.99

00:04:41.720 norm you know regular whatever so the teacher can grade it

00:04:46.980 and you give it to the teacher and like this is a history report what does this have to do with 0.97

00:04:53.080 anything and i'm like well that's that's history baby tiffany been fucking a neighbor you know what 1.00

00:05:01.120 i'm saying that's history boo that's in the books that's in god's library now son because she did it 0.98

00:05:10.440 she did it

00:05:12.900 so

00:05:15.580 anyway i'm in a button up and for me that's a lot you know i you know and also i never liked

00:05:22.720 because when i was young all the rich kids they wore button ups

00:05:26.380 they had the buttons and 0.97

00:05:29.820 and it was buttoned up and damn they just you know 0.98

00:05:33.400 their lives look buttoned up 0.97

00:05:36.240 and i didn't like them i just didn't like it it resembled something i didn't like

00:05:43.760 i think in some ways

00:05:48.860 organization or so i don't know

00:05:50.940 but something about it just always made me feel uncomfortable 1.00

00:05:54.200 but that's old shit 0.93

00:05:57.540 and today i'm doing it i'm wearing and i'm buttoned up 0.99

00:06:01.660 for you

00:06:02.700 today and with you

00:06:04.800 today

00:06:05.840 and i'm grateful uh

00:06:08.840 i'm excited to be here you know

00:06:11.720 i'm excited to be here a lot of interesting stuff

00:06:15.320 uh just been going on in my life and in your life

00:06:17.940 and uh i want to hear about some of it and

00:06:20.560 and um

00:06:21.800 and talk about some of it and share

00:06:24.040 you know

00:06:24.780 um

00:06:25.580 but i feel a little formatted

00:06:28.260 i feel like

00:06:28.900 you know

00:06:30.300 this button up got me feeling

00:06:32.240 you know 0.94

00:06:34.580 just damn caged up 0.99

00:06:36.280 i don't know what i'm talking about 0.99

00:06:39.320 and i never have baby

00:06:42.040 i'm happy to be here with you today

00:06:43.180 let's get into it

00:06:44.560 welcome

00:06:45.120 to this past weekend

00:06:47.200 whenever you're down

00:06:57.760 out in the cold

00:07:00.880 faithless and dark

00:07:03.700 your story's untold

00:07:06.880 come take my hand

00:07:09.520 and walk there with me

00:07:12.240 i know a place

00:07:14.980 where we can be free

00:07:17.540 there is a light

00:07:20.540 shining for you

00:07:23.540 guiding your way

00:07:26.540 helping you through

00:07:28.660 shadows and gloom

00:07:30.220 shadows and gloom

00:07:32.340 are all that you see

00:07:35.100 we'll find a place

00:07:37.220 where we can be free

00:07:40.220 from the mountain top

00:07:43.780 down to the deepest

00:07:46.780 darling

00:07:47.780 hear a voice

00:07:50.100 calling you

00:07:51.780 it's the rising sun

00:07:55.940 shining in the darkest

00:07:58.780 darling

00:07:59.660 can't you see

00:08:01.560 you will be free

00:08:03.160 so that's a slow tune

00:08:05.860 that's that

00:08:06.220 you know

00:08:06.760 that's something we went with

00:08:08.540 and i you know

00:08:09.300 there's something about it

00:08:10.140 i like

00:08:10.540 there is a light

00:08:12.240 you know

00:08:14.840 there is a

00:08:15.620 there is something to see

00:08:18.280 that will keep you warm

00:08:19.420 there is a

00:08:20.140 there is

00:08:22.260 a possibility

00:08:23.980 there's something about that

00:08:29.280 that always

00:08:30.060 because it's hard to see

00:08:32.000 a lot of times

00:08:32.760 man

00:08:33.200 dang it's hard to see

00:08:35.220 it's hard to see

00:08:37.900 that possibility

00:08:38.840 i struggle with it a bunch

00:08:42.760 man

00:08:43.020 i don't want to see it

00:08:44.260 i don't want

00:08:45.340 i don't want to see

00:08:46.120 your possibility

00:08:47.220 i want to sit right here

00:08:49.320 and boil

00:08:50.040 i want to boil

00:08:52.480 in this dang 1.00

00:08:53.340 just in this damn 0.99

00:08:56.280 in this anger 0.99

00:08:59.680 broth

00:09:00.460 i just want to boil

00:09:02.620 in this anger broth

00:09:03.720 i mean it's hard to

00:09:07.480 sometimes see some

00:09:08.140 possibility

00:09:08.900 but it's always there

00:09:13.180 and usually it finds you

00:09:14.540 i notice when i'm fuming

00:09:18.400 boy 0.94

00:09:18.860 when i'm damn just 0.95

00:09:21.060 i mean just huffing 0.99

00:09:22.500 my own damn 0.99

00:09:23.420 i'm just huffing 1.00

00:09:26.000 my own fucking 0.99

00:09:26.780 anger duster 1.00

00:09:27.620 i'm damn just 0.99

00:09:29.720 huffing the damn 0.99

00:09:30.760 keyboard cleaner 1.00

00:09:31.780 of my fucking 1.00

00:09:32.600 anger 1.00

00:09:33.280 some type of possibility

00:09:37.000 breaks in

00:09:37.580 somebody makes me laugh

00:09:38.660 something happens

00:09:39.420 i see a thing

00:09:40.400 a bird will fly by

00:09:41.960 and shat on 0.80

00:09:43.480 somebody's window 1.00

00:09:44.380 god damn 0.98

00:09:45.640 and that's when 0.99

00:09:47.240 god's breaking through

00:09:48.220 and saying hey

00:09:48.960 there's possibility

00:09:51.160 out there for you

00:09:52.080 what's going on man

00:09:56.100 it has been

00:09:56.640 i just got back

00:09:57.340 from paris baby

00:09:58.440 french son

00:10:01.040 and

00:10:01.300 i've never liked

00:10:03.520 the french

00:10:03.940 i'll be honest

00:10:04.420 with you

00:10:04.780 if you put 70

00:10:07.340 french people 0.99

00:10:08.020 in front of me

00:10:08.780 i don't like them

00:10:12.860 i don't

00:10:16.780 i just

00:10:17.180 they just

00:10:17.800 the way they

00:10:18.280 they're like

00:10:18.680 they just

00:10:25.120 it sound like

00:10:26.120 you just want to

00:10:29.160 just pat them 1.00

00:10:30.180 on the fucking 1.00

00:10:30.800 back 1.00

00:10:31.280 boy

00:10:31.640 i just want to

00:10:33.240 spray paint my hand

00:10:34.080 red white and blue

00:10:34.820 and pat them 1.00

00:10:35.460 bitches on the back 1.00

00:10:36.460 and get the fucking 1.00

00:10:38.060 truth out of them 0.99

00:10:39.040 what are you trying

00:10:39.660 to say

00:10:40.100 it sounds like

00:10:44.540 japanese 1.00

00:10:45.080 but they fucking 1.00

00:10:45.960 got their 1.00

00:10:46.460 but they're

00:10:47.660 nasaled out

00:10:49.340 or something

00:10:49.800 it sound like

00:10:51.540 somebody hit a

00:10:52.160 bunch of cotton

00:10:52.760 in a japanese

00:10:53.400 dude

00:10:53.960 god dude

00:11:08.540 you just

00:11:10.500 can't get

00:11:10.960 it sound like

00:11:11.540 somebody's just

00:11:12.040 ejacking out

00:11:12.880 and it just

00:11:13.440 just somebody

00:11:15.500 just got stuck 0.96

00:11:16.480 ejaculating 0.98

00:11:17.340 you know 1.00

00:11:18.620 what the fuck 1.00

00:11:29.760 are you talking 1.00

00:11:30.300 about

00:11:30.780 so anyway

00:11:33.820 i'm angry

00:11:34.580 i guess i am 0.99

00:11:35.340 i am fucking 0.95

00:11:36.260 keyed up today 0.99

00:11:37.200 man

00:11:37.700 a lot of 1.00

00:11:40.040 shit going on 0.99

00:11:40.680 i'm trying 1.00

00:11:41.120 to quit

00:11:41.520 vaping

00:11:42.520 vaping

00:11:43.340 vaping

00:11:44.180 it's vaping 1.00

00:11:45.220 motherfucker 0.99

00:11:45.900 so i'm still 1.00

00:11:50.520 on that shit 1.00

00:11:51.300 dude 1.00

00:11:51.660 god damn 1.00

00:11:52.500 i'll fucking 1.00

00:11:55.060 put my tongue 1.00

00:11:55.840 in a 1.00

00:11:56.100 in a damn 1.00

00:11:57.240 birdhouse baby 1.00

00:11:58.260 and lick the 0.99

00:11:58.840 walls 0.54

00:11:59.200 i don't care

00:11:59.840 that's just

00:12:01.520 where i'm at

00:12:02.180 today dude

00:12:02.860 i'll eat a 1.00

00:12:05.760 damn bird's 1.00

00:12:06.560 ass 1.00

00:12:06.900 bro

00:12:07.180 no cat

00:12:09.920 praise god

00:12:12.360 man we're

00:12:12.720 working through

00:12:13.220 it

00:12:13.440 um

00:12:14.400 but dude

00:12:15.160 i went to

00:12:15.600 france

00:12:15.860 we went to

00:12:16.480 a lot has

00:12:16.980 happened

00:12:17.360 um

00:12:18.000 i want to

00:12:18.940 thank everybody

00:12:19.340 that came out

00:12:19.720 in colorado

00:12:20.500 uh

00:12:21.240 i just went

00:12:22.500 into that

00:12:22.840 advertiser voice

00:12:23.740 like whenever

00:12:24.280 some of the

00:12:25.240 ads are like

00:12:25.960 if you're

00:12:26.260 doing the

00:12:26.760 um

00:12:27.300 date

00:12:28.500 the tour

00:12:29.100 date reads

00:12:29.680 that's the

00:12:30.100 voice sometimes

00:12:30.820 i just

00:12:31.140 noticed that

00:12:31.760 um

00:12:33.040 yeah sorry

00:12:36.500 i'm amped up

00:12:37.000 i feel like

00:12:37.300 there's so much

00:12:37.840 to tell you

00:12:38.560 guys

00:12:39.080 uh

00:12:40.040 so

00:12:41.980 yeah let's

00:12:42.960 just start

00:12:43.280 i went over

00:12:43.640 to colorado

00:12:44.400 and man

00:12:44.940 it was

00:12:45.260 awesome

00:12:45.640 god it

00:12:46.820 was fun

00:12:47.260 it was

00:12:47.480 good

00:12:47.800 we went

00:12:48.100 to um

00:12:49.260 we went

00:12:50.880 to

00:12:51.220 pueblo

00:12:51.740 and it

00:12:53.700 used to be

00:12:54.040 a native

00:12:54.520 town i think

00:12:55.280 you know

00:12:55.780 i don't know a lot

00:12:56.520 of the history

00:12:56.980 but we went

00:12:57.560 there

00:12:57.900 and it's

00:12:59.420 beautiful

00:12:59.700 we went

00:13:00.020 and saw

00:13:00.240 the mountainsides

00:13:01.160 in the distance

00:13:01.800 monuments

00:13:02.480 national monuments

00:13:03.480 beautiful place

00:13:04.320 i mean just 0.99

00:13:06.200 damn 0.99

00:13:06.700 kind of place 1.00

00:13:08.720 you want to 0.99

00:13:09.060 just damn 0.99

00:13:09.460 push your 1.00

00:13:09.920 spouse off

00:13:10.600 of you know

00:13:11.040 just beautiful

00:13:11.580 cliffs and

00:13:12.200 dwellings and

00:13:12.900 just god

00:13:14.160 that's where god

00:13:16.760 shows up in

00:13:17.560 places like that

00:13:18.500 that's where you

00:13:21.140 get up on those

00:13:21.720 mountains and you

00:13:22.300 look out and

00:13:22.760 you can hear god

00:13:23.940 saying this ain't

00:13:24.540 an app homie 0.96

00:13:25.320 welcome to my

00:13:28.140 bandwidth dog

00:13:29.260 look what the

00:13:32.120 lord's doing

00:13:32.800 and that was

00:13:36.380 good we seen

00:13:36.940 a lady out 1.00

00:13:37.620 there too i

00:13:38.200 didn't know you

00:13:38.580 know it's a

00:13:39.040 mining town

00:13:39.980 if you're not

00:13:40.980 familiar with

00:13:41.460 that and uh

00:13:43.180 it used to be

00:13:43.940 anywhere people

00:13:44.460 mine it's just 0.99

00:13:45.260 people just damn 0.99

00:13:45.900 digging in the 1.00

00:13:46.460 dirt looking for

00:13:47.680 something you know 0.91

00:13:50.300 and people do i

00:13:51.020 mean look people

00:13:52.580 will dig far

00:13:53.540 you know i grew

00:13:56.720 up a lot of

00:13:57.160 wishing i grew

00:13:57.760 up on the wishing

00:13:58.380 well circuit and

00:13:59.440 they had a lot of

00:14:00.020 people our town

00:14:01.640 was you know

00:14:02.880 semi-famous

00:14:03.740 for the number

00:14:05.720 of uh wishing

00:14:06.960 wells it had in

00:14:07.880 it so you'd see

00:14:10.320 people rolling

00:14:10.960 through town just 0.96

00:14:11.860 damn just just 0.98

00:14:13.260 nickeling up the 1.00

00:14:14.260 fucking earth 1.00

00:14:14.860 baby just fucking 1.00

00:14:17.740 humming dimes into 1.00

00:14:18.960 the in the in the

00:14:21.620 in the mother

00:14:22.380 nature's orifices

00:14:23.500 you know just 0.97

00:14:24.520 damn you just if 0.99

00:14:26.940 the wind blew 1.00

00:14:27.560 right you could 0.98

00:14:28.040 hear damn 60 0.99

00:14:28.740 cents hitting a 1.00

00:14:29.520 damn bottom of a 1.00

00:14:30.360 well somewhere 1.00

00:14:30.980 people just wishing 0.96

00:14:32.920 their ass off 0.95

00:14:33.820 because we had 0.76

00:14:35.200 about six wells in

00:14:36.200 our town wishing

00:14:36.880 wells and if

00:14:40.620 you're not familiar

00:14:41.220 with a wishing

00:14:41.760 well a wishing

00:14:45.040 well it's basically

00:14:45.780 it's like a it's

00:14:48.760 a it's like a

00:14:51.980 place you go to

00:14:53.980 wish for something

00:14:54.880 that you want and

00:14:56.580 i don't know how

00:14:57.060 it started i mean i

00:14:57.860 think i guess a

00:14:58.560 wishing well somebody

00:14:59.540 just somebody

00:15:01.180 dropped their

00:15:01.760 money into a

00:15:02.380 hole in the

00:15:03.000 ground and just

00:15:05.860 wish they hadn't

00:15:06.800 i mean there's no

00:15:11.460 other way for that

00:15:13.040 to have had you

00:15:13.640 know and then

00:15:14.980 they probably felt

00:15:15.660 so ashamed they

00:15:16.760 they just built a

00:15:18.340 thing around it and

00:15:19.540 just said hey

00:15:20.300 everybody come do 1.00

00:15:21.140 this shit 1.00

00:15:21.740 but um yeah so we 1.00

00:15:27.420 went to colorado

00:15:28.060 it was it was man

00:15:28.720 it was just great

00:15:29.280 people came out

00:15:30.320 uh so we had a

00:15:32.020 couple of devout

00:15:32.800 lesbians over there 1.00

00:15:34.000 at uh got into the 0.96

00:15:35.600 little uh violencia

00:15:37.040 after one of the

00:15:39.420 shows outside in

00:15:41.300 denver that was

00:15:41.900 interesting because

00:15:43.740 that's where you know

00:15:44.540 a lot of lesbians 1.00

00:15:46.660 they're starting to

00:15:47.240 peak out

00:15:47.800 you know when some 0.94

00:15:50.700 some lesbians they 0.99

00:15:51.500 got so much man in 1.00

00:15:52.440 them that shit will 1.00

00:15:52.960 peak out every now 1.00

00:15:53.800 and then

00:15:54.180 but they were just 0.97

00:15:56.880 damn trying to beat 0.98

00:15:57.720 each other into just 0.99

00:15:58.800 you know i think and

00:16:01.100 it should be if if 0.97

00:16:02.180 enough lesbian beat 1.00

00:16:03.240 each other and

00:16:03.860 whoever wins gets to

00:16:04.960 be a man

00:16:05.600 i mean what are we

00:16:08.780 doing you know if

00:16:10.520 we're not giving goals

00:16:11.520 and opportunities if

00:16:14.140 we're not you know

00:16:15.060 because if you you

00:16:17.020 see two two two you

00:16:18.300 know 0.99

00:16:18.560 two hardcore fucking 0.99

00:16:21.960 you know 1.00

00:16:22.520 wallet oneers out

00:16:24.600 there

00:16:24.980 you know they out

00:16:27.680 there hunting that

00:16:28.280 slick wallet homie and 0.99

00:16:29.480 you see them go at it

00:16:30.540 and one of them went

00:16:31.260 what did they get

00:16:32.580 but one of them should

00:16:34.780 be able to hit that

00:16:35.480 final form and

00:16:37.080 unlock just basic

00:16:38.220 dude at a library

00:16:39.260 yeah you don't get

00:16:40.360 top dude you got to

00:16:41.320 start at you know

00:16:42.340 at at you know

00:16:44.440 at library dude

00:16:45.700 you got to start

00:16:47.540 over there at

00:16:47.940 hogwarts henry babe

00:16:49.240 you don't get to

00:16:49.800 start just at the

00:16:50.500 top

00:16:50.920 you know you don't

00:16:53.320 get to be like a 0.93

00:16:54.100 uh macgyver or a

00:16:56.000 um

00:16:56.660 who's a famous young

00:16:59.780 man that's talented

00:17:00.980 joe burrow

00:17:04.220 all right what else

00:17:08.860 so anyway that was

00:17:09.640 colorado

00:17:10.260 um

00:17:11.160 and now pueblo

00:17:12.760 yeah that was a

00:17:13.380 mining town and we

00:17:14.360 saw they had a woman

00:17:15.200 there we passing down

00:17:16.240 the street and the

00:17:16.740 ladies over there 1.00

00:17:17.260 digging in a garden

00:17:18.320 mining

00:17:18.840 we seen a woman over 1.00

00:17:22.100 there just hand mining

00:17:23.120 just looking for items 0.99

00:17:24.160 and she had damn half 0.97

00:17:25.180 of a claire's boutique 0.99

00:17:26.140 in her hand she had

00:17:26.880 probably 1.00

00:17:27.180 this bitch had a 1.00

00:17:28.900 half a zales in her 1.00

00:17:29.920 palm

00:17:30.300 she i mean i'll you

00:17:32.980 know there's pictures

00:17:33.540 right here in the

00:17:34.180 youtube if you're

00:17:34.900 watching it she had

00:17:35.700 you know

00:17:36.940 it had half a

00:17:40.380 cole's

00:17:41.180 jewelry counter

00:17:42.640 right there

00:17:43.960 and it was funny

00:17:46.720 because it was like

00:17:47.440 who would look

00:17:47.960 she was looking in

00:17:48.840 like a in a

00:17:49.580 median of a walkway

00:17:51.400 where a guard you're

00:17:52.180 like no who would

00:17:53.040 ever

00:17:53.580 look for gold there

00:17:55.820 and this lady was 1.00

00:17:58.880 just hands and

00:17:59.820 knees out there

00:18:00.800 and this lady um 1.00

00:18:04.320 she she oh she

00:18:08.100 she had a kind of

00:18:09.100 a middle age on it

00:18:10.020 she was probably

00:18:10.420 anywhere from like

00:18:10.960 about 28 to maybe

00:18:12.380 55 56 and she 0.98

00:18:17.420 looked like greg

00:18:18.240 valentine that's who

00:18:19.280 i'm thinking of and

00:18:20.640 he was a famous

00:18:21.220 wrestler and if you

00:18:22.720 put them side by

00:18:23.720 side but she was 1.00

00:18:25.200 out there digging

00:18:25.760 in this garden and

00:18:27.900 we walked up and i

00:18:28.840 figured maybe she'd

00:18:29.480 been on some tough

00:18:30.080 times so we're gonna

00:18:30.880 you know drop her a 0.99

00:18:32.620 little bit of cash

00:18:33.440 and just say hello

00:18:34.400 and check in on her

00:18:35.560 and um she said i'm

00:18:38.840 looking here i'm

00:18:39.640 looking for treasures

00:18:40.660 and uh and then you

00:18:44.100 know i asked her why

00:18:44.780 are you looking here

00:18:45.380 she goes because

00:18:45.760 nobody looks here

00:18:46.820 and i looked at the

00:18:50.220 space and it was

00:18:50.840 just a guard it was

00:18:51.660 like a place you

00:18:52.260 wouldn't nobody

00:18:53.340 even walks through it

00:18:54.460 you have to like it

00:18:55.740 was up in the air

00:18:56.760 and then a garden

00:18:57.520 it was like like a

00:18:58.320 kind of somebody you'd

00:18:59.120 see like a they'd put

00:19:00.620 a garden in like the

00:19:01.440 middle of a walking

00:19:02.420 area in a nice part of

00:19:04.060 town you know and then

00:19:06.780 she showed me in her 0.99

00:19:07.680 hand she had damn 0.91

00:19:08.680 some gold bullion in 0.97

00:19:10.440 there she had a couple 0.86

00:19:11.300 uh necklace pieces and

00:19:14.500 different gold she had

00:19:16.660 real gold she'd found 0.99

00:19:18.120 and i was like damn 0.97

00:19:20.460 you know just i don't know 0.93

00:19:23.080 just interesting this

00:19:23.860 lady's looking where 1.00

00:19:24.500 nobody looks and if you

00:19:27.980 just said in the

00:19:28.620 beginning hey look

00:19:30.000 there everybody said

00:19:32.620 nice that's crazy

00:19:33.860 nobody even walks up

00:19:35.200 there you can't there's

00:19:35.700 not even a lot there's

00:19:36.420 no way to get who would

00:19:37.180 walk up there and here

00:19:39.200 she was half a handful of 0.99

00:19:40.520 gold but yeah she

00:19:43.140 reminded me of greg

00:19:43.740 valentine who i used to

00:19:44.960 love and adore and he's

00:19:45.800 probably dead all right

00:19:48.140 anyway but yeah i want

00:19:49.480 to tell you then we

00:19:49.980 went skiing and um what

00:19:52.940 else i got a letter from

00:19:53.860 kai the hitchhiker which

00:19:56.600 is blew my mind um went

00:20:00.840 to paris france all those

00:20:02.340 things occurred uh but

00:20:07.940 yeah we went skiing and

00:20:09.760 it was magical man we went

00:20:12.040 over to beaver's creek and

00:20:15.740 if you haven't been to

00:20:16.320 beaver's creek it sounds

00:20:17.700 like a um it sounds like

00:20:21.920 a bladder infection

00:20:23.220 really you know it

00:20:26.060 sounds like if somebody

00:20:26.820 sits down like a woman 1.00

00:20:27.960 that sits down and she 1.00

00:20:29.040 can't stop her vagina maybe 1.00

00:20:30.300 from making a a sound or 0.99

00:20:32.440 you know like like hey

00:20:35.580 girl you know wouldn't 1.00

00:20:39.660 that be crazy if some

00:20:40.540 women if they sat down and 1.00

00:20:42.140 their vagina made like a 1.00

00:20:43.160 uh like you like you 1.00

00:20:45.700 guessed the wrong answer on

00:20:47.000 a game show like

00:20:48.040 that would be like oh

00:20:57.880 dang that woman's got a 1.00

00:20:59.920 gay dude stuck in her 1.00

00:21:01.060 vagina bro but uh yeah we 1.00

00:21:04.440 went to beaver's creek bro 0.89

00:21:05.720 and uh and it was magical

00:21:08.820 man it we just went out

00:21:10.080 there was nobody out there

00:21:11.120 it was the day after martin

00:21:13.020 luther king jr uh day

00:21:15.920 and uh and it was just i

00:21:20.000 mean there's nobody out

00:21:20.640 there and it was oh man it

00:21:22.000 was so amazing um we went

00:21:25.840 out there and uh oh we met

00:21:27.460 this one dude actually this

00:21:29.460 was like every dude but there

00:21:31.120 was this one dude he like

00:21:33.700 worked on the slopes you know

00:21:35.220 he was like bro we caught

00:21:36.860 devil's femur bro yeah right i

00:21:39.680 mean it was fresh out of the

00:21:41.000 gate man we got out there it

00:21:43.940 was just you couldn't hear it 1.00

00:21:45.100 you could hear your fucking 1.00

00:21:46.260 dick whisper homie we were 1.00

00:21:49.000 out there man and it was

00:21:50.220 like i think it was top of the

00:21:52.120 morning i don't know i've been

00:21:53.800 on molly and computer duster for 1.00

00:21:55.660 like a while you know the

00:21:59.060 doctor says i'm gonna be fine

00:22:00.560 but that the residual effects of

00:22:02.320 the computer duster could last

00:22:03.860 for up to half a decade so but

00:22:06.680 but we were out there man god it

00:22:09.840 was sick bro yeah i broke both 0.76

00:22:12.640 of my clavicles uh yeah i can't

00:22:15.080 even hug my stepmom anymore but

00:22:17.340 it's fine she smashed like three of 1.00

00:22:19.360 my friends anyway so whatever my

00:22:23.400 dad's rich dude my buddy vixen was

00:22:26.700 out there with us and we haven't

00:22:28.260 seen him yeah pretty sad he just

00:22:30.460 coasted off into the pines up there

00:22:32.140 at crippled memphis i don't know

00:22:34.360 what i mean we're probably gonna

00:22:36.160 hold a vigil for him later if you

00:22:37.560 want to pull up yeah it's all you

00:22:39.420 can drink he'd want it that way but

00:22:41.320 we're gonna auction off his van i

00:22:43.940 mean it's not his van but his dad 0.99

00:22:46.840 hated him you're like what the fuck 0.98

00:22:50.400 are we what what are we talking 0.99

00:22:53.980 about here some of the people that

00:22:56.660 worked up there it was another level

00:22:58.240 but the place was beautiful and a lot

00:23:00.760 of great folks and um got to go with

00:23:04.140 my tour manager tim uh and uh and a

00:23:09.100 lot of his boys from montana these

00:23:10.960 group of white men and it got uh

00:23:14.980 everybody was chill man everybody was

00:23:17.560 chill but it was beautiful so today's

00:23:19.860 episode is brought to you by better

00:23:21.280 help we are grateful they are a

00:23:24.180 sponsor because when you're at your

00:23:26.640 best you can do great things that's

00:23:28.620 true you're open to possibility you're

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00:23:36.160 overwhelmed or like you're not showing

00:23:38.500 up in the way that you want to well

00:23:41.420 working with a therapist really can help

00:23:43.760 it really can having some place to go

00:23:47.720 and someone to reflect with someone to

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00:23:54.860 gonna walk along someone to help you

00:23:56.500 machete some of the the growth

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00:24:21.040 at any time I needed better help I

00:24:23.740 tried it and it worked I had to pull

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00:24:29.120 some dang better help and right there

00:24:30.580 bam therapies you can text with

00:24:33.400 therapies you can FaceTime with how I

00:24:35.400 FaceTime with one woman someone my 0.99

00:24:36.780 damn phone overheated shut down heat 0.99

00:24:39.260 warning that's how much help I needed 0.99

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00:24:53.680 all right we have great calls from you

00:24:56.360 guys I want I want to let you know

00:24:57.620 about this this is wild so a while back

00:25:00.460 somebody made a face fake of me and put

00:25:07.420 it on to the internet and social media

00:25:12.100 and so I am in it you know it's well it's

00:25:15.620 my face put over uh Kai the hitchhiker

00:25:18.540 smash smash smash he's the famous smash

00:25:24.380 smash master you know he's that handyman 0.99

00:25:26.720 that fucking couldn't find a nail cuz you 0.99

00:25:28.660 know that is that's him baby he's that 1.00

00:25:32.060 hitchhiking nail hunter boy you know he's

00:25:35.560 that DeWalt anyway there's a documentary

00:25:38.120 about him he's the famous hitchhiker that

00:25:39.680 hit a guy with a uh hatchet and hatcheted a

00:25:43.060 guy out to save a um this kind of thicker 0.84

00:25:47.960 little biscuit lady who was getting her 1.00

00:25:49.880 you know getting attacked or hugged out

00:25:52.800 it's the whole story's insane but anyway

00:25:56.420 what happened was so somebody put my face

00:25:59.200 onto a Kai the hitchhiker onto his story

00:26:02.060 right it went around on social media as we

00:26:04.660 put it up on social media um so he filed a

00:26:10.140 lawsuit he says or this document says uh

00:26:15.040 Caleb L McGilvery a jailhouse lawyer he is

00:26:18.440 apparently according to this he's a lawyer

00:26:20.460 now um says I've just filed a lawsuit uh

00:26:26.040 because of your the video you made um if you

00:26:34.360 want to settle outside of court uh the U.S.

00:26:37.100 marshals will be coming to your door uh to

00:26:41.040 hand you a summons you'll never um if you

00:26:45.080 want to settle outside of court now's your

00:26:46.340 chance I'll settle for what my costs are

00:26:49.440 which is approximately so and so amount

00:26:53.380 um and then he wants the videos down uh so and he

00:27:04.020 will withdraw the lawsuit and we can go our

00:27:07.200 separate ways um I don't know uh I'm a jailhouse

00:27:15.100 lawyer and he has nine years of litigation

00:27:17.360 experience and he may look this is I don't

00:27:21.080 know how to handle this uh but that's why I

00:27:24.140 mean I literally was just seeing the documentary

00:27:27.780 about him and here is this and it's funny because

00:27:32.380 during the documentary I I think you can relate

00:27:35.760 some with this feral child this young man who

00:27:39.420 something was uncomfortable or wrong in his

00:27:43.040 upbringing you know something was off

00:27:46.080 um and he appears very like kind of manic a lot

00:27:50.220 and you know also there's a lot of transient

00:27:52.580 people that's some of the energy that's out

00:27:54.460 there uh but a good-hearted dude you know kind

00:27:59.300 of dude that would just you know give you this skirt 1.00

00:28:02.760 off his back you know or whatever and that's good

00:28:08.780 and I you know you kind of love the guy you know uh but

00:28:14.380 just an amazing interesting story and then got

00:28:17.220 this this court summons and this all appears very

00:28:19.600 real so I'm gonna have to talk with a talk with an

00:28:22.220 attorney I got a buddy over there at Morgan and

00:28:23.860 Morgan I'll hit him up and see maybe on the next

00:28:26.920 solo episode we can actually address that and I can

00:28:29.760 get some more information so what else I've been

00:28:35.040 talking to a gal and that was uh good it was

00:28:40.000 cool and then she didn't really want to I think

00:28:46.160 she I wasn't her thing kind of so that was you know

00:28:55.460 that's been interesting uh I don't know if it's been

00:28:58.060 interesting I don't know if that's a word if you know

00:29:00.080 it was like I don't know it's interesting when you're

00:29:05.740 trying to date or whatever and then you kind of put

00:29:08.000 yourself out there you say to someone hey I'm

00:29:10.140 it's like the hokey pokey you put your right foot

00:29:14.160 in you know and they then they and they put their

00:29:17.420 right foot in

00:29:18.060 so now y'all are a couple of right foot y'all are a

00:29:22.900 couple of just right foot you guys are right right

00:29:25.360 there and then you're like that left foot it wants to

00:29:30.920 go in you're like let's go let's get in let's do it

00:29:34.800 and then you and somebody's got to put that left foot 1.00

00:29:38.940 in first usually and I put that bitch in dog 1.00

00:29:42.680 and then it was just both of my feet and just one of 0.99

00:29:47.580 her feet was in there 0.94

00:29:48.740 and I'm like

00:29:50.520 and she don't want that she don't want that two-footed 1.00

00:29:58.540 bad boy

00:29:59.060 she don't want that dos zapatos animal you know what I'm 1.00

00:30:04.100 saying

00:30:04.400 and

00:30:07.740 and she took her foot out 1.00

00:30:10.680 and then you're just standing there by yourself

00:30:15.980 you know you're on your own two feet so that's good but

00:30:19.600 and you're in a new place you're in like a little bit of a

00:30:22.020 braver place because you went there a little 1.00

00:30:23.640 but yeah I think that shit 0.99

00:30:30.260 you know I think it's always been tough for me to tell 0.99

00:30:32.980 somebody if I tell somebody I like them that's always been

00:30:35.280 tough for me

00:30:35.860 you know I don't want to tell you that I don't want to

00:30:41.160 it just man there's a part inside of me it's not even me

00:30:44.000 it's something deep inside of me that feels

00:30:45.820 very scared to say

00:30:48.100 very scared to say I like you

00:30:57.560 I think it's to a woman 0.99

00:31:00.200 you know very scared to say okay I'm

00:31:03.380 I'm gonna do this

00:31:05.440 so I don't have a lot of self-pity about it I'm not trying to whine about it

00:31:14.300 I'm just trying to share what's going on in my life

00:31:17.380 and things that are

00:31:18.720 just

00:31:21.880 things that are just normal

00:31:25.160 you know but yeah there's something

00:31:27.520 I talked about it a little bit on the Louie episode

00:31:30.220 and

00:31:30.920 if you didn't get to listen to that

00:31:33.980 it was awesome man

00:31:36.660 it was really awesome

00:31:38.340 and I talked a little bit about it on there

00:31:39.640 I think we had a voicemail comment about it

00:31:41.080 let me see if I can find this voicemail

00:31:42.980 Theo man it's Cam down here in North Carolina

00:31:48.440 what's up Cam

00:31:50.060 thank you for calling brother I appreciate you calling

00:31:52.760 Cam that's a good name baby Cam

00:31:57.040 could be short for camera

00:32:00.120 chamomile

00:32:05.100 you know

00:32:06.880 this is our son chamomile

00:32:08.820 yeah soak him in hot water

00:32:10.680 let's see what happens

00:32:13.280 or Cam the past tense of Cam I guess

00:32:18.000 you know somebody 0.97

00:32:18.780 oh damn somebody ran up and just Cam'd on him 0.99

00:32:22.160 you know and took off 1.00

00:32:24.280 you know or last week he got Cam'd

00:32:27.100 he Cam'd

00:32:28.280 somebody Cam'd on him at the house

00:32:31.720 and just

00:32:32.180 just ruined supper

00:32:34.040 you know anyway onward

00:32:35.460 I just got done listening to you

00:32:37.720 and Louis CK

00:32:38.620 and I just want to congratulate you man

00:32:40.980 for the compliment

00:32:41.820 he gave you on your comedy

00:32:42.980 I can just imagine

00:32:45.880 how good that felt

00:32:47.220 from your point of view

00:32:48.260 and I was so happy for you

00:32:50.000 hearing him

00:32:50.920 speak the truth

00:32:52.800 on your talent

00:32:53.560 but also I know

00:32:54.840 I know he's got to be a hero for you

00:32:56.900 and that must have been

00:32:58.260 a magical moment for you

00:32:59.220 I was so happy

00:32:59.960 it kind of brought a tear to my eye

00:33:01.580 well thank you man

00:33:03.540 I appreciate you all

00:33:04.660 yeah thank you for the

00:33:05.940 consideration

00:33:06.900 and for calling about that

00:33:08.740 you know it's interesting

00:33:10.980 I texted him

00:33:11.960 a few days after

00:33:13.300 because there was one thing he said

00:33:18.160 in a video

00:33:18.480 there was a lot of stuff he said

00:33:19.760 in a weird way

00:33:21.220 I wish I'd tried to

00:33:26.500 you know he said some things

00:33:29.280 like he said one thing

00:33:30.900 he said

00:33:33.860 you can't be a pedophile

00:33:36.020 if you're a child

00:33:37.020 which was interesting

00:33:43.100 like and I'd never realized

00:33:44.860 that in my life

00:33:45.800 I needed to

00:33:46.800 I

00:33:48.000 when I was young

00:33:50.020 there's funny

00:33:50.900 you know

00:33:51.500 I don't want to say funny

00:33:52.260 but there's things that happen

00:33:53.320 with kids

00:33:53.860 where you

00:33:54.360 you know

00:33:55.700 people see each other's

00:33:56.980 wieners or booties

00:33:58.260 or whatever

00:33:58.880 you're

00:33:59.400 you know

00:34:00.620 you

00:34:00.900 people

00:34:02.360 you know

00:34:02.760 you're humping your pillows

00:34:03.940 and

00:34:04.340 you know

00:34:05.500 like Louie was talking about

00:34:06.500 telling juicers 0.54

00:34:07.500 him and his buddy

00:34:08.360 at like summer camp

00:34:09.480 and

00:34:09.640 there's things that happen

00:34:11.320 you know

00:34:12.040 where

00:34:12.360 you know

00:34:14.960 I had some moments

00:34:15.660 when I was a kid

00:34:16.240 when I would just hug

00:34:17.240 my sister so hard

00:34:18.220 like she was a doll

00:34:19.180 and

00:34:20.800 I

00:34:21.100 I think I felt a lot of shame

00:34:22.680 about that

00:34:23.400 and I'd never had a man

00:34:27.160 I'd never had a man say

00:34:29.580 hey

00:34:29.920 you're not

00:34:30.900 this is

00:34:31.340 none of this makes you a bad person

00:34:33.320 I

00:34:33.480 I'd never had

00:34:35.440 any

00:34:36.900 that

00:34:37.160 that ever happened in my life

00:34:38.500 so it was interesting that

00:34:39.700 even just sitting there

00:34:40.500 talking with him

00:34:41.180 when he said that

00:34:42.180 it kind of

00:34:43.780 it's

00:34:44.280 I needed that

00:34:46.000 I needed in my life

00:34:48.660 to hear

00:34:49.240 a man

00:34:50.960 you know

00:34:51.460 who's older than me

00:34:52.140 I don't know how old Louie is

00:34:53.020 but I think he's

00:34:53.680 he could be my dad

00:34:54.880 if he had had me at a young age

00:34:57.160 and

00:34:58.520 and I needed

00:35:00.880 or I just needed to hear

00:35:01.980 someone I had

00:35:03.000 looked up to

00:35:04.280 in certain aspects

00:35:07.420 you know

00:35:07.700 I don't know all the aspects

00:35:08.600 of his life

00:35:09.120 but as someone that I had

00:35:10.000 some admiration for

00:35:11.400 I needed to hear them

00:35:12.720 say something like that

00:35:13.700 and I just didn't realize it

00:35:15.720 and sometimes

00:35:16.460 you don't know

00:35:17.020 where those pieces of

00:35:18.240 life

00:35:19.080 hit you at

00:35:20.260 you don't know

00:35:21.140 who has

00:35:21.760 anybody could be

00:35:23.620 could say something that

00:35:24.920 you needed your father

00:35:26.800 to say

00:35:27.340 or you needed

00:35:28.100 your mother to say

00:35:29.040 so that was interesting

00:35:33.180 and I texted him

00:35:34.540 and I said

00:35:34.840 hey

00:35:34.980 you know

00:35:35.520 I just wanted to say thanks

00:35:36.460 there was

00:35:36.760 this thing you said

00:35:38.460 that I had needed

00:35:39.800 to hear

00:35:40.360 in most of my life

00:35:41.380 and I had never heard it

00:35:42.440 because I'd had a lot

00:35:43.600 of shame about things

00:35:44.820 even just about

00:35:45.520 you know

00:35:46.680 I think is 0.53

00:35:47.260 you have shame 0.99

00:35:48.720 about masturbating 1.00

00:35:50.100 and you know 1.00

00:35:51.460 spraying out

00:35:52.440 and everything

00:35:52.940 and you know

00:35:54.100 and my dad

00:35:57.220 had just had

00:35:57.720 you know

00:35:58.240 he

00:35:58.460 he didn't

00:36:00.180 engage with me

00:36:01.540 about any of that

00:36:02.100 or talk about it

00:36:03.020 you know

00:36:03.500 he had me 0.99

00:36:04.840 bury damn half 0.99

00:36:05.700 of a Smurf's bed sheet 1.00

00:36:06.820 in the yard

00:36:07.400 and

00:36:07.660 and it was just

00:36:11.520 always very uncomfortable

00:36:12.740 so to even have

00:36:14.180 little moments

00:36:14.840 like that

00:36:15.660 but I think

00:36:18.380 I just found

00:36:18.880 some connection

00:36:19.440 in that call

00:36:20.160 with him

00:36:20.820 just hearing

00:36:23.620 a voice

00:36:25.240 that's knowledgeable

00:36:26.060 but not

00:36:26.800 he wasn't judgmental

00:36:28.960 obviously

00:36:30.700 he's been through

00:36:31.280 all the nooks

00:36:32.240 and crannies

00:36:32.820 of

00:36:33.060 you know

00:36:34.960 sexual discussion

00:36:37.840 and thought

00:36:38.400 probably in his own head

00:36:39.680 and so

00:36:40.900 yeah

00:36:41.560 just to have

00:36:42.260 like an adult

00:36:42.780 say that

00:36:43.380 don't

00:36:44.640 you know

00:36:44.960 that you can't be

00:36:46.540 you're not

00:36:48.840 bad for

00:36:49.480 it was

00:36:50.120 I don't know

00:36:50.840 it was kind of

00:36:52.100 blanket

00:36:52.420 but it just

00:36:52.900 hit me

00:36:53.220 and I needed

00:36:53.920 to hear that

00:36:54.500 and I never

00:36:55.580 knew I did

00:36:56.220 so anyway

00:36:58.920 there were moments

00:36:59.480 like that

00:36:59.920 anyway

00:37:00.180 sorry to interrupt

00:37:00.800 your call so much

00:37:01.460 let's go onward

00:37:02.120 and the reason

00:37:03.960 and the reason

00:37:03.980 for that

00:37:04.360 is just because

00:37:04.960 you put yourself

00:37:05.600 out here

00:37:06.120 and you

00:37:07.100 make yourself

00:37:07.840 vulnerable

00:37:08.340 and there's a lot

00:37:10.060 of us out here

00:37:10.660 that really benefit

00:37:11.680 from that

00:37:12.120 man

00:37:12.280 and I know

00:37:14.140 when I'm going 0.99

00:37:15.220 through some shit 0.97

00:37:15.900 I can tune in 1.00

00:37:17.780 and listen to you

00:37:18.500 and you know

00:37:20.400 I feel better

00:37:21.060 so I appreciate you

00:37:23.880 and just keep

00:37:26.040 doing the same

00:37:26.600 man

00:37:26.920 gang baby

00:37:28.440 thanks Cam

00:37:29.120 I appreciate

00:37:30.020 that call

00:37:30.640 man

00:37:31.000 yeah there was

00:37:33.340 some moments

00:37:33.820 with Louie

00:37:34.220 where I just

00:37:34.740 felt

00:37:35.120 yeah

00:37:35.520 yeah

00:37:39.420 you know

00:37:39.820 I don't know

00:37:40.420 what else to do

00:37:41.080 except

00:37:41.480 be myself

00:37:44.480 sometimes

00:37:45.140 I know

00:37:47.360 it might sound

00:37:47.880 crazy

00:37:48.240 but I don't know

00:37:48.800 there's so much

00:37:49.400 inside of myself

00:37:50.300 that wants

00:37:51.680 to get out

00:37:52.280 of me

00:37:52.660 and there's

00:37:58.060 things I want

00:37:58.600 to say

00:37:58.880 that I don't

00:37:59.200 even know

00:37:59.760 what they are

00:38:00.480 there's things

00:38:03.800 that are inside

00:38:04.600 of me

00:38:04.780 I think

00:38:05.620 there's

00:38:05.860 conversations

00:38:06.460 I never

00:38:07.020 got to 0.99

00:38:07.460 fucking 1.00

00:38:07.740 have 1.00

00:38:08.140 as a kid

00:38:08.640 I think

00:38:08.900 there's a lot 1.00

00:38:09.360 of shit 1.00

00:38:09.680 just inside 1.00

00:38:10.400 of me

00:38:10.800 that's like

00:38:12.340 you know

00:38:13.980 and I know

00:38:14.300 people say

00:38:14.880 hey don't

00:38:15.220 you know

00:38:15.560 don't think

00:38:16.360 about the past

00:38:16.960 and I'm not

00:38:17.420 thinking about it 1.00

00:38:18.260 but that shit 1.00

00:38:19.800 lives in me 1.00

00:38:20.660 dog

00:38:21.020 and

00:38:22.660 you know

00:38:24.180 and I think

00:38:24.600 there's a lot

00:38:25.240 of like

00:38:25.680 I don't know

00:38:26.260 you know

00:38:27.580 I'm a late

00:38:28.020 bloomer man

00:38:28.680 I know I am

00:38:29.580 and that's okay

00:38:30.620 you know

00:38:32.460 if you go

00:38:34.200 through a

00:38:34.600 whole childhood

00:38:35.360 of not getting

00:38:36.000 to have

00:38:36.540 interaction

00:38:37.280 or to talk

00:38:38.700 or have any

00:38:39.580 idea what

00:38:40.240 your feelings

00:38:40.800 are

00:38:41.080 or help

00:38:41.560 somebody mold

00:38:42.300 what feeling

00:38:43.400 even is

00:38:44.280 and you're

00:38:48.000 just surviving

00:38:48.840 in the 1.00

00:38:49.240 fucking world 1.00

00:38:50.080 and then 1.00

00:38:53.340 at some

00:38:54.080 point

00:38:54.280 you start

00:38:54.760 to quit

00:38:55.160 trying to

00:38:55.660 survive

00:38:56.380 then you

00:38:59.180 you still

00:39:00.160 have a

00:39:00.480 whole

00:39:00.640 I still

00:39:01.000 have a

00:39:01.340 whole

00:39:01.820 I still

00:39:05.200 have a

00:39:05.380 whole

00:39:05.540 rolodex 1.00

00:39:06.220 of shit 1.00

00:39:06.640 that I 1.00

00:39:06.980 didn't get

00:39:07.500 to get

00:39:08.120 right

00:39:08.540 or I

00:39:09.520 never got

00:39:09.960 to even

00:39:10.440 get wrong

00:39:11.520 yeah I

00:39:19.460 don't know

00:39:19.720 man

00:39:19.940 some of 1.00

00:39:20.220 that shit 1.00

00:39:20.500 makes me 1.00

00:39:20.840 fucking 1.00

00:39:21.140 you know 1.00

00:39:21.700 and some

00:39:22.080 of it

00:39:22.260 still makes

00:39:22.680 me angry

00:39:23.080 sometimes

00:39:23.300 there's a

00:39:23.740 lot of

00:39:23.980 I got

00:39:24.460 so much

00:39:24.780 I got

00:39:25.300 a lot

00:39:25.580 of anger

00:39:25.940 in me

00:39:26.300 sometimes

00:39:26.800 and people

00:39:28.600 say forgive

00:39:29.220 and forgive

00:39:29.760 I get

00:39:30.620 that

00:39:31.000 I'm in a

00:39:32.200 program

00:39:32.560 doing all 1.00

00:39:33.140 that shit 1.00

00:39:33.780 but that 1.00

00:39:36.060 you just

00:39:36.560 because you

00:39:36.860 say you

00:39:37.320 forgive

00:39:37.640 doesn't mean

00:39:38.080 that something

00:39:38.440 just disappears

00:39:39.460 you know

00:39:42.360 because some 1.00

00:39:47.480 of this shit 1.00

00:39:47.800 man it 1.00

00:39:48.080 fucking 1.00

00:39:48.320 lives in 1.00

00:39:49.020 me

00:39:49.340 you know

00:39:52.040 sometimes

00:39:53.280 there's still

00:39:53.760 a kid

00:39:54.080 inside of

00:39:54.480 me that's 0.98

00:39:54.740 so fucking 0.99

00:39:55.220 angry 1.00

00:39:55.620 bro

00:39:55.920 you know

00:39:58.580 and it's

00:39:58.800 my job

00:39:59.240 as an

00:39:59.480 adult

00:39:59.680 just to

00:39:59.980 not

00:40:00.160 not to

00:40:00.560 let him

00:40:00.780 drive

00:40:01.020 the boat

00:40:01.420 you know

00:40:01.980 anyway

00:40:03.520 I'm not

00:40:04.100 trying to

00:40:04.320 get into

00:40:04.560 self-pity

00:40:05.200 but there

00:40:06.260 was just

00:40:06.560 a lot

00:40:06.920 during that

00:40:07.400 that

00:40:07.680 conversation

00:40:08.080 you know

00:40:08.500 it's like

00:40:09.000 I'm still

00:40:10.240 collecting

00:40:10.840 I'm still

00:40:15.600 collecting

00:40:16.180 conversations

00:40:19.300 that should

00:40:20.100 have happened

00:40:20.540 when I was

00:40:21.000 a kid

00:40:21.480 and I'm

00:40:23.920 out here

00:40:24.360 you know

00:40:24.840 trying to

00:40:28.160 collect them

00:40:28.680 as an

00:40:29.140 adult

00:40:29.540 and not

00:40:33.160 even collect

00:40:33.680 them

00:40:33.800 I'm trying

00:40:34.340 to

00:40:34.560 I just

00:40:35.380 don't know

00:40:35.700 where they're

00:40:36.040 going to

00:40:36.220 happen

00:40:36.540 and sometimes

00:40:38.700 I don't

00:40:38.920 know

00:40:39.040 that

00:40:39.180 they

00:40:39.300 are

00:40:39.460 going

00:40:39.580 to

00:40:39.640 happen

00:40:39.800 it's

00:40:39.960 just

00:40:40.120 one thing

00:40:40.600 you could

00:40:41.240 do

00:40:41.560 you know

00:40:42.020 so I'm

00:40:42.880 just grateful

00:40:43.220 that God

00:40:43.640 lets me be

00:40:44.120 alive and that

00:40:44.780 gives me an

00:40:45.180 opportunity to

00:40:46.080 have some

00:40:46.900 experiences

00:40:47.460 but thank you

00:40:48.140 for the call

00:40:48.500 dude I was

00:40:48.940 excited

00:40:49.480 I felt like

00:40:51.940 we had a

00:40:52.460 good connection

00:40:53.300 I didn't

00:40:53.940 know I was

00:40:54.840 scared

00:40:55.360 I'd seen

00:40:57.120 I'd seen

00:40:57.140 Louis one

00:40:57.640 time in

00:40:58.060 the hall

00:40:58.480 of the

00:40:58.680 comedy

00:40:58.960 store

00:40:59.200 when he

00:40:59.420 was very

00:41:00.420 famous in

00:41:01.680 mainstream

00:41:02.020 media

00:41:02.540 and

00:41:03.680 you know

00:41:05.920 I

00:41:06.360 he seemed

00:41:08.120 very standoffish

00:41:09.100 he seemed

00:41:09.420 like a

00:41:09.720 fancy guy

00:41:10.440 and

00:41:11.600 but I also

00:41:12.420 didn't know

00:41:13.100 him

00:41:13.400 but

00:41:14.240 he didn't

00:41:16.100 seem like

00:41:16.800 approachable

00:41:17.480 or anything

00:41:17.920 but

00:41:19.160 but I

00:41:21.360 I

00:41:21.860 I felt

00:41:22.900 I felt

00:41:24.240 excited to

00:41:24.840 get invited

00:41:25.300 to his

00:41:25.720 show

00:41:26.020 I hadn't

00:41:26.860 gone to

00:41:27.380 a comedy

00:41:27.760 show

00:41:28.140 and

00:41:28.680 I'd been

00:41:32.640 like the

00:41:32.940 first comedy

00:41:33.460 show I'd

00:41:33.740 ever been

00:41:34.100 to

00:41:34.360 and then

00:41:36.340 I'd been

00:41:38.100 to I

00:41:38.440 went to

00:41:39.000 see Bob

00:41:39.480 Newhart

00:41:40.100 one time

00:41:41.940 in Chicago

00:41:42.460 and then I

00:41:43.420 saw Louis

00:41:43.980 of actual

00:41:45.100 show where I

00:41:45.720 went and

00:41:46.140 went and

00:41:46.420 just sat

00:41:46.780 in the

00:41:47.020 audience

00:41:47.260 and watched

00:41:47.680 I've seen

00:41:48.420 a ton of

00:41:48.880 sets at

00:41:49.300 the comedy

00:41:49.660 store

00:41:49.960 and that

00:41:50.320 but

00:41:50.640 anyway

00:41:51.540 this is

00:41:52.060 getting a

00:41:52.280 little bit

00:41:52.500 long

00:41:52.860 here

00:41:53.200 so

00:41:53.680 alright

00:41:54.920 let's

00:41:55.240 get into

00:41:55.520 a little

00:41:55.760 bit of

00:41:56.020 news

00:41:56.460 here

00:41:56.740 and then

00:41:57.000 we'll

00:41:57.120 go on

00:41:57.520 to the

00:41:57.960 I'll

00:41:58.740 tell you

00:41:58.900 about

00:41:59.020 the

00:41:59.180 fashion

00:41:59.580 show

00:42:00.300 what

00:42:01.480 happened

00:42:01.940 here

00:42:02.480 in the

00:42:03.380 news

00:42:04.260 we got

00:42:06.060 Alabama

00:42:07.780 woman who 0.99

00:42:08.620 joined

00:42:09.040 ISIS

00:42:09.760 once back

00:42:11.140 in the

00:42:11.440 US

00:42:12.040 nope

00:42:15.140 bye 1.00

00:42:16.840 bitch 1.00

00:42:17.480 that's 1.00

00:42:18.180 what I'm

00:42:18.460 saying

00:42:18.800 a woman 0.57

00:42:20.120 who left

00:42:20.500 Alabama

00:42:20.880 joined the

00:42:21.300 Islamic

00:42:21.660 state

00:42:21.920 in 2014

00:42:22.460 now says

00:42:23.020 she regrets

00:42:23.620 her action

00:42:24.220 and is

00:42:24.920 hoping to

00:42:25.320 return to

00:42:25.880 the United

00:42:26.340 States

00:42:26.840 if I need

00:42:28.160 to sit

00:42:28.440 in prison

00:42:28.760 and do

00:42:29.000 my time

00:42:29.360 I will

00:42:29.640 do it

00:42:29.960 I won't

00:42:30.200 fight

00:42:30.400 against it

00:42:30.880 oh now

00:42:31.620 that's

00:42:31.980 interesting

00:42:32.580 that could 0.68

00:42:35.460 be fair

00:42:35.960 but I

00:42:38.140 don't

00:42:38.260 know

00:42:38.460 you know

00:42:38.740 I

00:42:38.980 get to

00:42:39.680 it gets

00:42:40.020 to a

00:42:40.300 point

00:42:40.460 where

00:42:40.720 as a

00:42:41.500 country

00:42:41.800 you make

00:42:42.240 so many

00:42:43.340 bins

00:42:45.700 of whatever

00:42:46.460 your original

00:42:47.120 rules are

00:42:47.700 that you're

00:42:47.980 not a

00:42:48.240 country

00:42:48.520 anymore

00:42:48.920 you know

00:42:52.800 if you have

00:42:53.160 like at

00:42:53.440 the pool

00:42:53.840 rules

00:42:54.240 say you

00:42:54.520 have the

00:42:54.740 pool

00:42:54.980 rules

00:42:55.340 and these

00:42:55.640 are the

00:42:55.820 rules

00:42:56.000 you can't

00:42:56.300 swim

00:42:56.460 during this

00:42:56.820 hours

00:42:57.100 you can't

00:42:58.440 no swimming

00:43:00.980 30 minutes

00:43:01.960 after

00:43:02.560 sandwiches

00:43:04.160 or

00:43:04.960 dining

00:43:05.760 no

00:43:07.020 diarrheas

00:43:07.800 no

00:43:09.140 pissing

00:43:13.020 in the 0.91

00:43:13.260 pool

00:43:13.460 or whatever

00:43:13.960 dookie

00:43:14.580 so

00:43:15.960 you have

00:43:16.760 those rules

00:43:17.200 but then

00:43:17.520 you start

00:43:17.780 breaking

00:43:18.020 all the

00:43:18.240 rules

00:43:18.480 I'm gonna

00:43:19.460 change this

00:43:19.880 rule

00:43:20.020 change this

00:43:20.480 rule

00:43:20.600 change this

00:43:21.060 rule

00:43:21.220 and then

00:43:22.080 you have

00:43:22.240 somebody

00:43:22.460 that comes

00:43:22.960 up

00:43:23.360 and this

00:43:24.760 lady

00:43:25.040 whatever

00:43:25.280 just

00:43:25.500 sprayed

00:43:25.820 tit

00:43:26.160 milk

00:43:26.420 on the

00:43:26.760 rules

00:43:27.120 and went

00:43:31.140 off to

00:43:31.440 another

00:43:31.620 country

00:43:31.900 to join

00:43:32.920 a group

00:43:33.560 that was

00:43:34.200 against

00:43:34.660 your

00:43:34.860 original

00:43:35.160 country

00:43:35.740 I say

00:43:38.320 bye

00:43:38.660 I say

00:43:40.440 bye

00:43:40.700 man

00:43:40.880 because

00:43:41.320 you

00:43:41.560 change

00:43:41.900 it

00:43:42.060 then

00:43:42.500 there's

00:43:42.740 no

00:43:42.940 more

00:43:43.160 rules

00:43:43.560 then

00:43:43.740 this

00:43:43.920 pool

00:43:44.200 doesn't

00:43:44.500 exist

00:43:45.000 now

00:43:46.160 you got

00:43:46.420 people

00:43:46.680 eating

00:43:47.000 out of

00:43:47.260 the

00:43:47.380 pool

00:43:47.580 making

00:43:47.860 soup

00:43:48.460 you got

00:43:49.220 one

00:43:49.520 dude

00:43:49.740 diarrhea

00:43:50.260 down

00:43:50.800 here

00:43:50.960 by the

00:43:51.260 ladder

00:43:51.680 the

00:43:52.660 ducks

00:43:53.000 have

00:43:53.240 fecal

00:43:53.640 alcohol

00:43:54.020 syndrome

00:43:54.580 from

00:43:54.920 the

00:43:55.240 duties

00:43:57.840 at the

00:43:58.460 other end

00:43:59.060 and then

00:43:59.520 somebody

00:44:00.060 selling

00:44:00.460 duck

00:44:00.920 you got 0.99

00:44:01.320 a Chinese

00:44:01.820 dude

00:44:02.100 selling

00:44:02.380 duck

00:44:02.760 meat

00:44:03.000 on the

00:44:03.240 side

00:44:03.440 of the

00:44:03.660 pool

00:44:03.960 you know

00:44:05.320 you got

00:44:05.620 some

00:44:05.860 fella

00:44:06.180 over there

00:44:06.620 just

00:44:06.860 huffing

00:44:07.200 down

00:44:07.400 duck

00:44:07.760 empanadas

00:44:08.380 and he

00:44:08.680 gets

00:44:08.900 infected

00:44:09.400 because of

00:44:09.800 the

00:44:09.960 guy

00:44:10.900 by the

00:44:11.240 ladder

00:44:11.560 just

00:44:11.820 the whole

00:44:12.460 thing

00:44:12.680 but it's

00:44:12.920 all because

00:44:13.280 the rules

00:44:13.740 keep getting

00:44:14.360 adjusted

00:44:15.300 so I

00:44:15.820 say

00:44:16.300 no

00:44:18.900 you left

00:44:20.440 you said 1.00

00:44:21.000 fuck 1.00

00:44:21.360 this 1.00

00:44:21.620 place

00:44:22.220 then

00:44:23.460 that

00:44:23.660 you

00:44:23.840 made

00:44:24.120 your

00:44:24.300 go

00:44:24.700 pick

00:44:25.180 another

00:44:25.500 place

00:44:25.980 then

00:44:26.320 if

00:44:27.780 ISIS

00:44:28.180 didn't

00:44:28.540 work

00:44:28.800 out

00:44:28.980 you

00:44:29.120 didn't

00:44:29.300 cut

00:44:29.560 it

00:44:29.680 in

00:44:29.800 ISIS

00:44:30.240 all

00:44:31.920 right

00:44:32.120 go

00:44:32.340 play

00:44:32.620 back

00:44:32.860 play

00:44:33.100 hoops

00:44:33.380 in

00:44:33.540 Russia

00:44:33.860 boo

00:44:34.160 and

00:44:35.300 some

00:44:35.560 of my

00:44:35.800 reasoning

00:44:36.120 behind

00:44:36.460 with

00:44:36.640 the

00:44:36.800 rules

00:44:37.060 is

00:44:37.240 because

00:44:37.480 at

00:44:37.680 a

00:44:37.820 certain

00:44:38.080 point

00:44:38.400 that

00:44:38.580 people

00:44:38.920 that

00:44:39.200 care

00:44:39.520 about

00:44:39.840 that

00:44:40.160 like

00:44:40.360 going

00:44:40.580 to

00:44:40.680 the

00:44:40.800 pool

00:44:41.000 in

00:44:41.140 the

00:44:41.240 beginning

00:44:41.620 they're

00:44:42.440 not

00:44:42.600 going

00:44:42.720 to

00:44:42.780 want

00:44:42.900 to

00:44:42.960 be

00:44:43.060 at

00:44:43.160 the

00:44:43.280 pool

00:44:43.460 anymore

00:44:43.840 they're

00:44:47.280 going

00:44:52.220 all

00:44:52.360 these

00:44:52.540 adjustments

00:44:53.020 about

00:44:53.360 the

00:44:53.540 pool

00:44:53.880 and

00:44:56.940 you

00:44:57.040 don't

00:44:57.180 have

00:44:57.320 a

00:44:57.460 pool

00:44:57.660 anymore

00:44:58.060 now

00:44:59.900 you

00:45:00.040 got

00:45:00.180 a

00:45:00.340 duck

00:45:00.580 soup

00:45:00.900 diarrhea

00:45:01.400 farm

00:45:01.900 that's

00:45:03.700 what

00:45:03.840 you

00:45:03.960 got

00:45:04.260 and

00:45:07.540 the

00:45:07.680 people

00:45:07.980 that

00:45:08.180 originally

00:45:08.680 cared

00:45:09.140 about

00:45:09.360 the

00:45:09.540 pool

00:45:09.700 that

00:45:09.860 made

00:45:10.140 it

00:45:10.260 the

00:45:10.400 pool

00:45:10.760 they're

00:45:12.060 not

00:45:12.260 going

00:45:12.400 to

00:45:12.520 care

00:45:12.720 anymore

00:45:13.080 they're

00:45:14.640 going

00:45:14.720 to

00:45:14.820 find

00:45:15.080 some

00:45:15.340 other

00:45:15.520 place

00:45:15.800 they're

00:45:15.960 going

00:45:16.040 to

00:45:16.120 get

00:45:16.280 into

00:45:16.440 private

00:45:16.840 areas

00:45:17.200 and

00:45:17.340 have

00:45:17.500 their

00:45:17.660 own

00:45:17.860 pool

00:45:18.020 they're

00:45:18.220 going

00:45:18.280 to

00:45:18.400 figure

00:45:18.640 it

00:45:18.860 out

00:45:19.080 so

00:45:21.940 I

00:45:22.180 don't

00:45:22.320 know

00:45:22.580 I

00:45:23.540 just

00:45:23.780 liked

00:45:24.080 it

00:45:24.260 better

00:45:24.580 when

00:45:24.840 and

00:45:25.700 maybe

00:45:25.940 it's

00:45:26.120 just

00:45:26.280 me

00:45:26.640 and

00:45:26.880 this

00:45:27.000 is

00:45:27.080 just

00:45:27.220 my

00:45:27.520 perspective

00:45:28.120 but

00:45:29.520 when

00:45:29.760 it

00:45:29.900 felt

00:45:30.080 like

00:45:30.220 we

00:45:30.360 all

00:45:30.880 we

00:45:34.920 all

00:45:35.180 had

00:45:35.380 the

00:45:35.540 same

00:45:35.760 pool

00:45:36.100 in

00:45:36.280 mind

00:45:36.680 what

00:45:41.940 else

00:45:42.160 parents

00:45:42.560 in

00:45:42.780 shock

00:45:43.260 as

00:45:43.480 gorillas

00:45:43.940 mate

00:45:44.340 in

00:45:44.580 front

00:45:44.840 of

00:45:45.000 kids

00:45:45.340 at

00:45:45.600 zoo

00:45:46.040 a

00:45:48.320 pair

00:45:48.480 of

00:45:48.600 gorillas

00:45:48.880 at

00:45:49.240 a

00:45:49.460 zoo

00:45:50.000 left

00:45:52.160 parents

00:45:52.500 shocked

00:45:52.880 as

00:45:53.020 they

00:45:53.140 decided

00:45:53.440 to

00:45:53.600 start

00:45:53.840 doing

00:45:54.220 it

00:45:54.380 like

00:45:54.560 they

00:45:54.740 do

00:45:55.140 on

00:45:55.760 the

00:45:55.860 discovery

00:45:56.200 channel

00:45:56.520 right

00:45:56.760 in

00:45:56.940 front

00:45:57.120 of

00:45:57.240 the

00:45:57.380 kids

00:45:57.780 when

00:45:59.400 you

00:45:59.500 take

00:45:59.660 the

00:45:59.800 kids

00:46:00.000 to

00:46:00.140 the

00:46:00.260 zoo

00:46:00.360 to

00:46:00.480 see

00:46:00.600 all

00:46:00.700 the

00:46:00.820 wonders

00:46:01.080 of

00:46:01.220 the

00:46:01.260 animal

00:46:01.500 kingdom

00:46:01.820 you've

00:46:02.280 always

00:46:02.480 got

00:46:02.620 to

00:46:02.720 understand

00:46:03.000 there's

00:46:03.200 a

00:46:03.360 risk

00:46:03.680 that

00:46:03.980 all

00:46:04.460 creatures

00:46:05.040 great

00:46:05.340 and

00:46:05.480 small

00:46:05.740 will

00:46:05.940 be

00:46:06.100 up

00:46:06.320 to

00:46:06.460 some

00:46:06.700 naughty

00:46:07.060 antics

00:46:08.040 I

00:46:09.740 love

00:46:10.000 this 0.57

00:46:10.400 hell

00:46:11.700 I

00:46:11.880 think

00:46:12.060 the

00:46:12.220 zoo

00:46:12.380 could

00:46:12.580 charge

00:46:12.860 more

00:46:13.240 for

00:46:20.000 you

00:46:21.020 know

00:46:21.140 what

00:46:21.260 I'm

00:46:21.380 saying

00:46:21.680 bro

00:46:22.000 because

00:46:23.580 you

00:46:23.820 go

00:46:23.960 to

00:46:24.080 some

00:46:24.260 of

00:46:24.340 these

00:46:24.460 cages

00:46:24.800 now

00:46:25.020 you

00:46:25.140 go

00:46:25.280 to

00:46:25.380 the

00:46:25.520 lion

00:46:25.880 cage

00:46:26.300 he's

00:46:26.540 in

00:46:26.740 there

00:46:27.160 he's

00:46:27.780 always

00:46:28.120 sleeping

00:46:28.680 or

00:46:28.840 he's

00:46:29.000 laid

00:46:29.300 out

00:46:29.580 or

00:46:29.700 he's

00:46:29.840 on

00:46:30.020 looks

00:46:30.480 like

00:46:30.640 he's

00:46:30.780 on

00:46:30.880 a

00:46:30.980 couple

00:46:31.200 zannies 1.00

00:46:31.780 you know

00:46:32.240 they

00:46:33.220 always

00:46:33.420 got

00:46:33.540 a

00:46:33.700 kick 0.71

00:46:34.000 ball

00:46:34.280 next

00:46:34.600 to

00:46:34.820 him

00:46:35.020 you

00:46:36.060 who's

00:46:36.460 ever

00:46:36.820 seen

00:46:37.220 a

00:46:37.440 lion

00:46:37.840 play

00:46:38.560 kick 0.71

00:46:38.900 ball

00:46:39.280 what 1.00

00:46:41.440 fucking 1.00

00:46:41.980 lion 1.00

00:46:42.620 gets

00:46:43.540 up

00:46:43.780 and

00:46:43.880 he's

00:46:44.000 like

00:46:44.160 then

00:46:45.440 you

00:46:47.520 see

00:46:47.700 another

00:46:48.060 lion

00:46:48.520 run

00:46:48.860 up

00:46:49.140 and

00:46:49.320 just

00:46:49.620 and

00:46:51.120 the

00:46:51.240 other

00:46:51.420 lions

00:46:51.840 are

00:46:51.940 like

00:46:52.100 kick 0.98

00:46:53.060 it

00:46:53.400 kick 0.91

00:46:53.800 it

00:46:54.180 it's

00:46:54.500 there's

00:46:55.100 no 0.99

00:46:55.320 fuck 1.00

00:46:55.620 that's 1.00

00:46:56.260 what

00:46:56.740 do

00:46:56.840 they do

00:46:57.160 they're

00:46:57.320 not

00:46:57.480 doing

00:46:57.780 anything

00:46:58.300 and

00:46:59.560 then

00:46:59.720 and

00:46:59.940 there's

00:47:00.140 always

00:47:00.380 like

00:47:00.520 a

00:47:00.660 tight

00:47:00.960 rope

00:47:01.220 in

00:47:01.360 the

00:47:01.500 cage

00:47:01.820 going

00:47:02.040 from

00:47:02.240 like

00:47:02.380 one

00:47:02.640 tree

00:47:02.900 to

00:47:03.060 another

00:47:03.460 like

00:47:04.520 the

00:47:04.680 lion

00:47:04.880 like

00:47:05.060 the

00:47:05.200 lion

00:47:05.480 just

00:47:05.720 gonna

00:47:05.920 like

00:47:06.240 oh

00:47:06.700 just

00:47:07.260 like

00:47:07.460 walk

00:47:07.820 on

00:47:07.980 the

00:47:08.100 road

00:47:08.280 like

00:47:08.460 oh

00:47:09.060 I'm

00:47:09.340 a

00:47:09.640 rope

00:47:11.280 lion

00:47:11.840 I'm

00:47:12.200 a

00:47:12.380 tight

00:47:12.700 rope

00:47:13.060 lion 1.00

00:47:13.720 fuck 1.00

00:47:16.440 what 1.00

00:47:17.120 the 1.00

00:47:17.420 fuck 1.00

00:47:18.040 they 1.00

00:47:19.340 don't

00:47:19.580 do 0.99

00:47:19.820 shit 1.00

00:47:20.300 man 0.99

00:47:20.720 I'm

00:47:22.120 sick

00:47:22.340 of

00:47:22.520 paying

00:47:22.940 entry

00:47:23.600 fees

00:47:24.280 to

00:47:24.840 see

00:47:25.260 animals

00:47:25.900 not

00:47:26.480 do 1.00

00:47:26.800 shit 1.00

00:47:27.220 they 1.00

00:47:27.940 don't

00:47:28.160 do 0.99

00:47:28.380 shit 1.00

00:47:28.700 these 1.00

00:47:29.580 animals

00:47:29.920 don't

00:47:30.300 do 0.99

00:47:30.500 shit 1.00

00:47:30.640 they 1.00

00:47:30.920 just

00:47:31.140 lay

00:47:31.440 there

00:47:31.720 like

00:47:31.920 rich

00:47:32.320 animals

00:47:32.720 that's

00:47:32.980 all

00:47:33.100 they

00:47:33.260 are

00:47:33.560 because

00:47:35.320 we

00:47:35.540 took

00:47:35.800 them

00:47:35.960 out

00:47:36.140 of

00:47:36.220 the

00:47:36.360 wild

00:47:36.860 the

00:47:38.780 wild

00:47:39.260 is

00:47:39.460 where

00:47:39.660 God

00:47:40.020 is

00:47:40.160 out

00:47:40.340 there

00:47:40.560 setting

00:47:41.680 it

00:47:41.900 off

00:47:42.260 and

00:47:44.100 mother

00:47:44.340 nature

00:47:44.680 is

00:47:44.820 out

00:47:44.980 there 1.00

00:47:45.140 fucking 1.00

00:47:45.460 twerking 1.00

00:47:46.020 and

00:47:47.000 people

00:47:47.300 are

00:47:47.440 eating

00:47:47.620 bbq

00:47:48.260 and

00:47:48.420 getting

00:47:48.620 gunned 0.84

00:47:49.000 down

00:47:49.320 but

00:47:50.660 we

00:47:50.820 take

00:47:51.120 them

00:47:51.220 out

00:47:51.360 of

00:47:51.420 the

00:47:51.540 natural

00:47:51.880 environment

00:47:52.140 we

00:47:52.280 put

00:47:52.440 them

00:47:52.540 in

00:47:52.620 this

00:47:52.780 rich 1.00

00:47:53.160 ass 1.00

00:47:53.680 fucking 1.00

00:47:54.440 maximum 1.00

00:47:55.060 or

00:47:55.380 minimum

00:47:56.080 security

00:47:56.720 prison

00:47:57.240 and

00:47:59.160 they're

00:47:59.320 living

00:47:59.680 large

00:48:00.300 they're

00:48:00.580 kickballing

00:48:01.480 they're

00:48:02.260 eating

00:48:02.500 lamb

00:48:03.220 they're

00:48:04.240 I

00:48:04.440 saw

00:48:04.840 one

00:48:05.080 video

00:48:05.260 they're

00:48:05.500 feeding

00:48:05.860 lamb

00:48:06.400 to

00:48:06.860 lambs

00:48:08.780 I'm

00:48:10.940 sick

00:48:11.280 of

00:48:11.400 these

00:48:11.580 rich 1.00

00:48:11.940 ass 1.00

00:48:12.260 animals

00:48:12.800 that's

00:48:14.800 all

00:48:14.980 this

00:48:15.240 is

00:48:15.480 man

00:48:15.620 have

00:48:15.920 you

00:48:16.000 ever

00:48:16.140 lived

00:48:16.320 in a 0.99

00:48:16.520 shitty 1.00

00:48:16.720 neighborhood

00:48:17.080 and

00:48:17.340 then

00:48:17.480 moved

00:48:17.740 to

00:48:17.880 a

00:48:18.020 better

00:48:18.200 neighborhood

00:48:18.640 have

00:48:19.740 you

00:48:19.900 ever

00:48:20.200 moved

00:48:20.920 from

00:48:21.300 Memphis

00:48:22.020 to

00:48:22.380 Nashville

00:48:22.820 okay

00:48:24.440 that's

00:48:25.480 that's

00:48:25.500 what's

00:48:25.720 happening

00:48:25.960 with

00:48:26.180 these

00:48:26.400 animals

00:48:26.840 and

00:48:28.480 people

00:48:28.760 are

00:48:28.900 like

00:48:29.080 we

00:48:29.480 gotta

00:48:29.900 set

00:48:30.200 the

00:48:30.380 animals

00:48:30.820 free

00:48:31.420 no

00:48:33.040 we

00:48:33.220 what

00:48:33.620 if

00:48:35.420 we

00:48:35.560 set

00:48:35.780 the

00:48:35.900 animals

00:48:36.080 free

00:48:36.240 every

00:48:36.560 penguin

00:48:37.080 will

00:48:37.680 be

00:48:37.980 at

00:48:38.420 in

00:48:38.940 at

00:48:39.480 Albertsons

00:48:40.020 in

00:48:40.280 the

00:48:40.400 frozen

00:48:40.660 food

00:48:40.940 section

00:48:41.300 you'll

00:48:42.420 have

00:48:42.540 every

00:48:42.860 penguin

00:48:43.260 in

00:48:43.520 there 1.00

00:48:43.840 fucking 0.99

00:48:44.680 just 0.99

00:48:45.440 just

00:48:45.940 beating

00:48:46.840 open

00:48:47.160 a thing

00:48:47.480 of fish

00:48:47.920 sticks

00:48:48.420 every

00:48:50.200 leopard

00:48:50.680 will 0.99

00:48:50.960 kill 1.00

00:48:51.380 every 1.00

00:48:51.800 missing

00:48:52.320 pet

00:48:53.140 in

00:48:53.660 your

00:48:53.900 area

00:48:54.320 there

00:48:56.140 will

00:48:56.300 be

00:48:56.560 zero

00:48:57.220 missing

00:48:57.620 animals

00:48:58.120 you

00:49:00.720 can't

00:49:01.040 free

00:49:01.260 you

00:49:01.560 can't

00:49:01.980 free

00:49:02.380 these

00:49:02.660 animals

00:49:03.040 man

00:49:03.420 because

00:49:04.860 they'll

00:49:05.040 be right

00:49:05.400 back

00:49:05.620 in

00:49:05.780 nature

00:49:06.020 they'll

00:49:06.240 be right

00:49:06.580 back

00:49:06.800 in

00:49:06.940 the

00:49:07.060 wild

00:49:07.400 and

00:49:08.460 the

00:49:08.620 wild

00:49:08.980 the

00:49:09.160 wild

00:49:09.480 is

00:49:09.640 gangster 0.74

00:49:10.060 that's 0.57

00:49:11.740 the UFC

00:49:12.300 for

00:49:12.640 animals

00:49:12.960 man

00:49:13.260 these

00:49:14.600 animals

00:49:14.840 they have

00:49:15.140 it good

00:49:15.500 in the

00:49:15.740 zoo

00:49:15.940 they got

00:49:16.940 it

00:49:17.100 really

00:49:17.400 really

00:49:17.680 good

00:49:18.060 so

00:49:19.100 I

00:49:19.320 say

00:49:19.540 we

00:49:19.740 either

00:49:20.160 put

00:49:20.680 them

00:49:20.800 to

00:49:20.940 work

00:49:21.300 or

00:49:21.840 tell

00:49:22.180 them

00:49:22.320 to

00:49:22.440 take

00:49:22.980 a

00:49:23.180 four

00:49:23.560 legged

00:49:23.900 hike 0.96

00:49:24.480 I

00:49:26.100 want to

00:49:26.420 go to

00:49:26.800 the zoo

00:49:27.240 and they

00:49:27.740 got

00:49:28.180 I want to

00:49:29.140 go during

00:49:29.820 they should

00:49:30.460 have animal 1.00

00:49:30.900 sex hours 0.64

00:49:31.700 in the

00:49:32.100 afternoon

00:49:32.660 2 to

00:49:33.700 3 p.m.

00:49:34.740 everybody 0.99

00:49:35.260 fucking 0.97

00:49:35.760 alright 0.99

00:49:37.320 $40 to

00:49:38.520 get in

00:49:39.160 you

00:49:40.620 that zoo

00:49:41.480 would

00:49:41.740 be

00:49:41.980 pet

00:49:42.720 that zoo

00:49:45.400 would

00:49:45.740 be

00:49:45.940 even

00:49:46.300 the

00:49:46.520 French

00:49:46.860 would

00:49:47.040 be

00:49:47.160 there

00:49:47.340 like

00:49:47.540 but

00:49:51.220 we got

00:49:55.460 to get

00:49:55.620 these animals

00:49:56.040 to work

00:49:56.500 these

00:49:57.400 zoos

00:49:57.640 they're

00:49:57.780 not making

00:49:58.100 any money

00:49:58.620 nobody's

00:49:59.000 going to

00:49:59.340 see

00:49:59.480 you could

00:50:00.540 watch a

00:50:00.900 nature

00:50:01.080 channel

00:50:01.280 they fight

00:50:01.720 immediately

00:50:02.360 the Dana

00:50:04.600 White should 1.00

00:50:05.080 do the

00:50:05.340 nature

00:50:05.600 channel

00:50:06.080 these 1.00

00:50:07.520 bitches 1.00

00:50:07.800 fight 0.99

00:50:08.160 immediately

00:50:08.640 on the

00:50:08.960 nature

00:50:09.160 channel

00:50:09.620 so

00:50:10.960 these

00:50:11.200 animals

00:50:11.600 I think

00:50:11.920 they either

00:50:12.340 need to

00:50:12.920 step it

00:50:13.780 up

00:50:14.060 or get

00:50:14.900 the

00:50:15.080 that's

00:50:16.940 what I'm

00:50:17.100 saying

00:50:17.220 I want

00:50:17.580 to go

00:50:17.780 to the

00:50:18.020 zoo

00:50:18.140 I want

00:50:18.440 to see

00:50:18.800 you know

00:50:19.800 I want

00:50:20.180 to see

00:50:20.600 I want

00:50:21.680 to see

00:50:21.900 the end

00:50:22.180 I want

00:50:22.440 to see

00:50:22.660 these apes

00:50:23.300 fist

00:50:23.620 fighting

00:50:24.020 I want

00:50:24.880 to see

00:50:25.180 the rats

00:50:25.720 making

00:50:26.320 soup

00:50:26.820 like they

00:50:27.180 do in

00:50:27.540 the movie

00:50:28.060 I want

00:50:29.080 to see

00:50:29.740 penguins

00:50:30.920 miming

00:50:31.780 why aren't

00:50:32.580 penguins

00:50:32.920 miming

00:50:33.460 you got

00:50:35.500 the

00:50:35.700 colors

00:50:36.120 do the 1.00

00:50:36.880 fucking 1.00

00:50:37.240 work 1.00

00:50:37.840 boys

00:50:38.480 but

00:50:40.580 zoos

00:50:41.000 could

00:50:41.200 easily

00:50:41.640 step

00:50:42.000 it

00:50:42.120 up

00:50:42.540 2pm

00:50:43.380 all

00:50:43.640 the

00:50:43.820 animals 1.00

00:50:44.160 fuck 1.00

00:50:44.520 that's 1.00

00:50:47.640 easy

00:50:48.040 2pm

00:50:49.320 all

00:50:49.580 the

00:50:49.700 animals 1.00

00:50:49.940 fuck 1.00

00:50:50.260 $40 1.00

00:50:50.880 to get

00:50:51.580 in

00:50:51.960 bring

00:50:52.660 a rain

00:50:53.080 slicker

00:50:53.660 boom

00:50:54.680 now

00:50:56.260 we're

00:50:56.420 talking

00:50:56.700 business

00:50:57.180 baby

00:50:57.560 but I

00:51:00.360 think

00:51:00.560 if you

00:51:00.800 go to

00:51:01.040 the zoo

00:51:01.320 and see

00:51:01.620 some

00:51:01.800 animals 1.00

00:51:02.100 fuck 1.00

00:51:02.420 lucky 1.00

00:51:02.860 you

00:51:03.320 alright

00:51:04.320 just

00:51:06.760 make

00:51:06.980 sure

00:51:07.160 that

00:51:07.300 you

00:51:07.360 have

00:51:07.460 a

00:51:07.580 conversation

00:51:08.100 with

00:51:08.360 your

00:51:08.500 son

00:51:08.920 or

00:51:09.140 daughter

00:51:09.440 afterwards

00:51:09.920 to

00:51:10.340 explain

00:51:10.700 what

00:51:10.880 happened

00:51:11.220 and

00:51:11.620 that

00:51:11.740 they

00:51:11.880 shouldn't

00:51:12.140 feel

00:51:12.320 ashamed

00:51:12.660 for

00:51:12.840 watching

00:51:13.140 it

00:51:13.400 thank

00:51:14.160 you

00:51:14.400 breaking

00:51:16.080 news

00:51:16.460 guys

00:51:16.800 manscaped

00:51:17.660 now

00:51:17.940 sells

00:51:18.320 beard

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00:51:19.400 that's

00:51:19.640 right

00:51:19.880 they are

00:51:20.400 once

00:51:20.600 again

00:51:20.800 revolutionizing

00:51:22.160 men's

00:51:22.780 grooming

00:51:23.080 with

00:51:23.380 the

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00:51:23.840 new

00:51:24.220 beard

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00:51:25.440 pro

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00:51:28.160 fresh

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00:51:29.940 behind

00:51:30.220 the

00:51:30.400 beard

00:51:30.660 hedger

00:51:31.020 pro

00:51:31.360 kit

00:51:31.740 allows

00:51:33.320 your

00:51:33.460 signature

00:51:33.740 beard

00:51:34.080 look

00:51:34.460 now

00:51:35.380 you

00:51:35.540 can

00:51:35.680 finally

00:51:36.000 use

00:51:36.240 manscaped

00:51:36.960 products

00:51:37.460 to

00:51:37.680 make

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00:51:38.000 drapes

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00:51:46.580 take

00:51:46.740 care

00:51:46.960 of

00:51:47.040 your

00:51:47.160 hair

00:51:47.500 and

00:51:48.260 how

00:51:48.400 you

00:51:48.540 look

00:51:48.820 and

00:51:48.940 what

00:51:49.100 you

00:51:49.220 look

00:51:49.420 like

00:51:49.900 if

00:51:51.040 you

00:51:51.140 want

00:51:51.380 to

00:51:51.640 they

00:51:52.280 have

00:51:52.440 it

00:51:52.520 all

00:51:52.660 beard

00:51:52.960 oil

00:51:53.240 beard

00:51:53.720 balm

00:51:54.480 beard

00:51:55.240 shampoo

00:51:55.680 and conditioner

00:51:56.280 everything

00:51:56.800 so

00:51:57.840 get

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00:52:02.160 that's

00:52:02.380 20%

00:52:02.860 off

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00:52:05.660 and

00:52:06.020 use

00:52:06.280 code

00:52:06.600 T-H-E-O 1.00

00:52:08.400 we hope

00:52:09.740 you're enjoying

00:52:10.140 your Air

00:52:10.480 Canada flight

00:52:11.260 Rocky's

00:52:11.900 vacation

00:52:12.400 here we

00:52:13.160 come

00:52:13.620 whoa

00:52:14.620 is this

00:52:15.260 economy

00:52:15.820 free beer

00:52:16.840 wine

00:52:17.340 and snacks

00:52:18.260 sweet

00:52:19.340 fast free

00:52:20.360 Wi-Fi

00:52:20.800 means I can

00:52:21.360 make dinner

00:52:21.740 reservations

00:52:22.260 before we

00:52:23.100 land

00:52:23.480 and with

00:52:24.240 live TV

00:52:24.960 I'm not

00:52:25.620 missing the

00:52:26.180 game

00:52:26.500 it's kind

00:52:27.340 of like

00:52:27.700 I'm already

00:52:28.560 on vacation

00:52:29.400 nice

00:52:30.820 on behalf

00:52:31.980 of Air

00:52:32.240 Canada

00:52:32.600 nice

00:52:33.280 travels

00:52:33.820 Wi-Fi

00:52:34.740 available to

00:52:35.220 Air

00:52:35.360 Plan

00:52:35.560 members

00:52:35.840 on equipped

00:52:36.120 flights

00:52:36.380 sponsored

00:52:36.720 by Bell

00:52:37.060 conditions

00:52:37.420 apply

00:52:37.740 CRCanada

00:52:38.340 dot com

00:52:38.900 let's move

00:52:40.160 on

00:52:40.580 what else

00:52:41.040 do we

00:52:41.300 have

00:52:41.720 a couple

00:52:42.100 calls

00:52:42.480 that came

00:52:42.860 in

00:52:43.300 this episode

00:52:44.000 is getting

00:52:44.300 long

00:52:44.860 that's

00:52:45.300 okay

00:52:45.620 went to

00:52:46.820 France

00:52:47.520 I went

00:52:55.580 to France

00:52:56.200 so this

00:52:57.540 thing came

00:52:57.900 out of

00:52:58.160 nowhere

00:52:58.360 right

00:52:58.860 get invited

00:53:00.380 to go to

00:53:00.820 France

00:53:01.360 and you

00:53:02.580 know I

00:53:02.760 don't like

00:53:02.980 the French

00:53:03.460 you know

00:53:03.840 it

00:53:04.020 if you

00:53:05.480 had to

00:53:05.680 pick six

00:53:06.180 things

00:53:06.440 I don't

00:53:06.680 like

00:53:07.000 the French

00:53:07.840 would be

00:53:08.140 four of

00:53:08.600 them

00:53:08.840 and

00:53:13.300 so I

00:53:14.500 got

00:53:14.580 invited

00:53:14.880 they were

00:53:15.640 doing a

00:53:15.940 comedy

00:53:16.240 fashion

00:53:16.620 show

00:53:16.880 this

00:53:17.060 fella

00:53:17.220 kid

00:53:17.580 super

00:53:18.000 and at

00:53:19.920 first they

00:53:20.240 said

00:53:20.420 kid

00:53:20.780 super

00:53:21.120 I thought

00:53:21.480 it was

00:53:21.700 one of

00:53:21.940 you know

00:53:22.240 like a

00:53:23.020 make a

00:53:23.340 wish

00:53:23.560 fella

00:53:23.760 you know

00:53:24.140 you get

00:53:24.620 those

00:53:24.920 you know

00:53:25.880 they got

00:53:26.100 that 40

00:53:26.600 year old

00:53:26.940 in a cape

00:53:27.440 or something

00:53:27.940 and he's

00:53:28.400 you know

00:53:29.920 he wants

00:53:30.200 to jump

00:53:30.560 out of a

00:53:30.980 window

00:53:31.240 or whatever

00:53:31.660 and they

00:53:31.940 won't let

00:53:32.400 him

00:53:32.560 because

00:53:33.780 he's

00:53:34.360 you know

00:53:35.880 does he

00:53:36.160 never

00:53:36.380 because

00:53:37.420 he's

00:53:37.900 you know

00:53:39.180 he's

00:53:39.420 mentally 0.75

00:53:39.720 he's

00:53:40.020 really

00:53:40.340 you know

00:53:41.180 because the

00:53:41.480 devil tickled

00:53:42.180 him whenever

00:53:42.520 he was being

00:53:43.000 made or

00:53:43.560 whatever

00:53:43.860 and he's

00:53:44.160 not

00:53:44.420 well

00:53:44.960 but it

00:53:47.960 wasn't

00:53:48.320 it was

00:53:48.840 a

00:53:49.100 it was

00:53:49.900 a

00:53:50.060 fashion

00:53:50.540 show

00:53:52.100 put on

00:53:53.380 by this

00:53:53.860 fella

00:53:55.520 Colm

00:53:56.020 Delane

00:53:56.600 make sure

00:53:57.840 I get

00:53:58.060 his name

00:53:58.480 correctly

00:53:59.100 Colm

00:54:00.600 Delane

00:54:03.000 yes

00:54:03.800 and a

00:54:04.760 real

00:54:05.020 beautiful

00:54:05.460 fella

00:54:05.800 man

00:54:06.100 a really

00:54:06.560 kind

00:54:07.560 smart

00:54:08.000 neat

00:54:08.460 guy

00:54:08.900 and I'd

00:54:11.360 had a

00:54:11.720 friend

00:54:11.980 Aaron

00:54:12.260 Levy

00:54:12.540 that was

00:54:13.240 part of

00:54:13.840 the John

00:54:14.180 Elliott

00:54:14.440 clothing

00:54:14.880 brand

00:54:15.120 so I'd

00:54:15.360 been

00:54:15.500 around

00:54:15.740 some

00:54:15.980 clothing

00:54:16.360 fashion

00:54:16.900 high

00:54:17.240 fashion

00:54:17.660 and I

00:54:18.860 don't

00:54:18.960 know

00:54:19.120 much

00:54:19.340 about

00:54:19.560 fashion

00:54:20.000 you know

00:54:20.360 that

00:54:20.660 I mean

00:54:21.420 look at

00:54:21.760 me

00:54:22.220 there you

00:54:24.640 go

00:54:24.860 and you

00:54:25.200 know

00:54:25.360 I don't

00:54:25.900 and

00:54:26.860 you know

00:54:27.460 I got

00:54:27.720 three pairs

00:54:28.180 of pants

00:54:28.620 I wear

00:54:28.960 one of

00:54:29.320 them all

00:54:29.560 the time

00:54:29.940 this is

00:54:30.280 it

00:54:30.600 these little

00:54:33.340 camo deals

00:54:34.860 it's paper

00:54:35.460 thin but

00:54:35.900 they're nice

00:54:36.400 from North Face

00:54:37.240 and I like

00:54:37.660 them

00:54:37.960 but anyway

00:54:40.660 we get

00:54:41.000 invited to

00:54:41.420 this thing

00:54:41.760 and they

00:54:42.080 said it's

00:54:42.400 going to

00:54:42.560 be

00:54:42.800 I mean

00:54:43.420 you're

00:54:43.620 wearing

00:54:43.980 I mean

00:54:44.920 some of

00:54:45.260 the linen

00:54:45.660 it's just 0.99

00:54:46.100 damn 0.99

00:54:46.340 fresh silk 0.99

00:54:47.220 I mean

00:54:47.740 you could

00:54:48.120 smell a

00:54:48.640 spider's 1.00

00:54:49.080 asshole 1.00

00:54:49.420 on it 0.99

00:54:49.920 you know 1.00

00:54:51.060 this shit 1.00

00:54:51.440 is hot 1.00

00:54:52.020 hot off

00:54:53.620 the eight

00:54:54.020 arms

00:54:54.400 baby

00:54:54.660 you know

00:54:54.840 what I'm

00:54:55.020 saying 1.00

00:54:55.200 this shit 1.00

00:54:55.540 is fresh 1.00

00:54:56.140 and so

00:54:59.780 yeah

00:55:00.020 we go

00:55:01.100 first of all

00:55:01.860 we get

00:55:02.180 to the

00:55:02.580 airport

00:55:03.080 and they're

00:55:03.360 taking us

00:55:03.660 on a jet

00:55:04.160 I mean

00:55:04.440 this thing

00:55:04.800 Puma

00:55:05.600 put us

00:55:06.000 on a jet

00:55:06.480 and it's

00:55:08.660 I mean

00:55:09.500 this thing

00:55:09.880 was long

00:55:10.460 this thing

00:55:10.800 had two

00:55:11.280 bathrooms

00:55:11.760 in it

00:55:12.200 and I

00:55:14.080 pissed

00:55:14.360 in both

00:55:14.740 of them

00:55:15.020 because

00:55:15.360 you know

00:55:15.680 that

00:55:15.980 boy

00:55:16.460 if there's

00:55:18.240 I piss

00:55:18.700 in it

00:55:18.960 you know

00:55:19.140 what I'm

00:55:19.360 saying

00:55:19.660 I'm

00:55:20.060 pissing

00:55:20.420 at each 0.85

00:55:20.740 end

00:55:20.940 of the

00:55:21.180 yard

00:55:21.540 baby

00:55:21.860 and I'll

00:55:24.420 let the

00:55:24.740 devil 0.66

00:55:24.980 do the

00:55:25.340 laundry

00:55:25.700 baby

00:55:25.960 you know

00:55:26.140 what I'm

00:55:26.320 saying

00:55:26.480 I'm

00:55:26.720 pissing

00:55:27.080 when I

00:55:27.340 get in

00:55:27.640 something

00:55:27.900 that's

00:55:28.980 always

00:55:29.220 who I've

00:55:29.560 been

00:55:29.800 you know

00:55:32.040 as a

00:55:32.320 child

00:55:32.560 at night

00:55:32.940 before I

00:55:33.180 go to bed

00:55:33.480 I'd piss 0.99

00:55:33.860 off each 0.99

00:55:34.240 side of

00:55:34.520 my bed

00:55:34.900 and I'd

00:55:35.160 piss 0.86

00:55:35.340 around it

00:55:36.180 I'd

00:55:36.860 stand

00:55:37.180 on my

00:55:37.420 bed 0.91

00:55:37.580 and urinate 1.00

00:55:37.980 around it 0.86

00:55:39.000 just

00:55:40.460 to keep

00:55:41.400 you know

00:55:42.800 whatever bad

00:55:43.480 stuff could

00:55:43.880 come get

00:55:44.240 me to

00:55:44.480 keep it

00:55:44.760 away

00:55:45.080 but anyway

00:55:49.240 so we

00:55:50.580 went there

00:55:51.120 who was

00:55:52.280 there

00:55:52.420 Andrew

00:55:52.620 Santino

00:55:53.480 Matteo

00:55:56.680 Lane

00:55:57.100 other

00:55:57.860 comedians

00:55:58.540 Stavros

00:56:00.280 Halkias 0.99

00:56:01.100 Fari

00:56:03.420 and he's

00:56:04.820 a French

00:56:05.460 comedian

00:56:05.940 who else

00:56:09.040 Jeff Ross

00:56:09.780 couple other

00:56:10.160 comedians

00:56:10.720 yeah anyway

00:56:12.900 so we

00:56:13.300 went out

00:56:14.160 on the

00:56:14.380 stage

00:56:14.960 and we

00:56:15.940 had to

00:56:16.360 walk in

00:56:16.940 a fashion

00:56:17.500 and we

00:56:18.500 had to

00:56:19.440 do the

00:56:20.840 you know

00:56:21.260 and do

00:56:22.360 some

00:56:22.560 material

00:56:23.040 on stage

00:56:23.660 so that

00:56:24.080 was part

00:56:24.460 of it

00:56:24.760 and it

00:56:26.480 was just

00:56:26.920 wild

00:56:27.300 you know

00:56:27.700 like there

00:56:28.240 I mean

00:56:28.720 you know

00:56:29.360 I

00:56:29.820 this was

00:56:31.160 the most

00:56:31.480 nervous

00:56:32.000 that I'd

00:56:32.420 been

00:56:32.720 to do

00:56:33.920 comedy

00:56:34.240 in a long

00:56:34.660 time

00:56:34.940 because

00:56:35.220 for one

00:56:36.160 people are

00:56:40.140 coming to

00:56:40.640 judge

00:56:40.960 they judge

00:56:41.500 clothing

00:56:41.760 and this

00:56:42.100 is like

00:56:42.380 fancy

00:56:43.040 people

00:56:43.540 this is

00:56:44.420 like the

00:56:44.800 fanciest

00:56:45.560 people

00:56:46.140 everybody

00:56:47.060 has a

00:56:47.600 blog

00:56:48.040 everybody

00:56:48.400 has a

00:56:48.800 web

00:56:49.080 page

00:56:49.440 everybody

00:56:49.760 has a

00:56:50.380 lawyer

00:56:50.840 it's

00:56:51.500 people

00:56:51.740 like

00:56:51.960 that

00:56:52.300 you

00:56:53.740 know

00:56:54.060 and so

00:56:56.680 you get

00:56:57.160 it's

00:56:57.720 like

00:56:57.960 I knew

00:56:58.820 these

00:56:59.020 people

00:56:59.280 were going

00:56:59.620 to be

00:56:59.840 judgmental

00:57:00.560 about

00:57:00.760 clothes

00:57:01.240 anyway

00:57:01.480 they're

00:57:01.720 here to

00:57:02.660 judge

00:57:02.900 clothing

00:57:03.300 all

00:57:03.480 week

00:57:03.700 so if

00:57:04.760 you

00:57:04.860 throw

00:57:05.080 in

00:57:05.220 an

00:57:05.360 outlier

00:57:05.800 like

00:57:06.060 a

00:57:06.260 comedian

00:57:07.100 who's

00:57:08.840 coming

00:57:09.080 in

00:57:09.240 who's

00:57:09.380 not

00:57:09.560 even

00:57:09.720 part

00:57:09.920 of

00:57:10.000 their

00:57:10.120 world

00:57:10.560 we're

00:57:12.400 the

00:57:12.600 easiest

00:57:13.000 thing

00:57:13.320 for them

00:57:13.540 to hate

00:57:13.800 on

00:57:14.020 oh I

00:57:14.460 can hate

00:57:14.760 on

00:57:14.900 this guy

00:57:15.360 oh easy

00:57:15.900 done

00:57:16.300 comedian

00:57:17.240 done

00:57:17.620 so I

00:57:19.680 feel I was

00:57:20.100 like oh

00:57:20.540 these

00:57:20.860 MFers 0.99

00:57:21.520 man

00:57:21.820 and it

00:57:22.560 was rich

00:57:23.160 people

00:57:23.540 bro

00:57:23.840 and I

00:57:25.320 don't like

00:57:25.640 the rich

00:57:26.100 man

00:57:26.420 I've

00:57:28.440 said it

00:57:28.780 and you

00:57:29.020 know it

00:57:29.380 and people

00:57:31.200 say well

00:57:31.540 man you

00:57:31.840 make money

00:57:32.300 and I

00:57:32.480 yeah I

00:57:32.840 do

00:57:33.060 but I'll

00:57:34.980 never be

00:57:35.420 rich

00:57:35.840 I'll never 1.00

00:57:38.060 be fucking 1.00

00:57:38.560 infected with 1.00

00:57:39.200 that shit 1.00

00:57:39.660 that shit 1.00

00:57:41.360 starts in 1.00

00:57:41.780 your heart

00:57:42.160 son

00:57:42.500 so I

00:57:43.920 don't

00:57:44.020 never

00:57:44.220 I won't

00:57:44.900 be like

00:57:45.340 that

00:57:45.660 and I

00:57:46.880 know because

00:57:47.520 when I

00:57:47.860 get around

00:57:48.320 rich people

00:57:48.780 I don't

00:57:49.040 like them

00:57:49.520 and I

00:57:52.900 just felt

00:57:53.420 that in

00:57:53.820 there

00:57:54.080 just that

00:57:55.000 age-old

00:57:55.560 energy

00:57:55.960 man

00:57:56.420 you know

00:57:58.540 because they

00:57:58.820 had a rich

00:57:59.300 doctor when I

00:57:59.960 was young

00:58:00.440 they had a

00:58:00.880 rich

00:58:01.200 veterinarian

00:58:02.640 right

00:58:02.900 and he

00:58:04.060 would

00:58:04.260 drive through

00:58:05.940 our neighborhood

00:58:06.420 sometimes people

00:58:06.920 would cut

00:58:07.340 through

00:58:07.780 from the

00:58:09.440 highway

00:58:09.760 there

00:58:10.000 and then

00:58:10.220 they had

00:58:10.460 another

00:58:10.780 highway

00:58:11.260 and in

00:58:12.340 between the

00:58:12.640 two highways

00:58:13.000 was our

00:58:13.380 neighborhood

00:58:13.740 and

00:58:14.840 off of that

00:58:17.040 people would

00:58:17.500 cut through our 0.70

00:58:17.900 neighborhood and

00:58:18.260 drive off to

00:58:18.700 one of the

00:58:19.280 down one of the

00:58:20.240 highways and be

00:58:20.760 nice neighborhoods

00:58:21.400 and they had this

00:58:22.860 veterinarian

00:58:23.880 and he would

00:58:24.820 throw

00:58:25.380 animals

00:58:27.240 dead animals

00:58:27.880 out in our 1.00

00:58:28.340 ditch and shit 0.99

00:58:29.060 when they drove 1.00

00:58:29.920 by

00:58:30.300 you know

00:58:32.660 and so that 0.99

00:58:34.620 shit always 0.99

00:58:35.020 stuck with me 1.00

00:58:35.740 man

00:58:36.100 you know

00:58:38.420 like oh

00:58:38.880 this is just

00:58:39.400 the place

00:58:39.860 where they

00:58:40.260 that's what

00:58:42.100 they think

00:58:42.500 of this

00:58:43.660 that's what

00:58:44.460 they think

00:58:44.840 of us

00:58:45.340 this is just

00:58:46.560 a place

00:58:46.940 where we

00:58:47.240 put dead

00:58:47.700 animals 0.90

00:58:48.180 and you 0.99

00:58:53.440 could damn 0.96

00:58:53.920 use Clorox 0.99

00:58:54.780 you would

00:58:55.020 never get 1.00

00:58:55.320 that shit 1.00

00:58:55.660 out of my 1.00

00:58:56.000 system

00:58:56.340 but anyway

00:58:57.920 and I know

00:58:58.520 this is a

00:58:58.960 judgmental

00:58:59.520 place

00:58:59.740 people are

00:59:00.160 judging

00:59:00.600 fashion

00:59:01.040 people are

00:59:01.520 here to

00:59:02.100 be judged

00:59:03.040 so I know

00:59:04.800 the easiest

00:59:05.460 thing for

00:59:06.200 some blogger

00:59:07.100 which is

00:59:08.260 basically just

00:59:08.960 a job where

00:59:09.660 you are afraid 1.00

00:59:10.460 to fucking 1.00

00:59:10.980 fight 1.00

00:59:11.440 the easiest

00:59:14.420 job for a

00:59:15.360 blogger is

00:59:16.680 to say

00:59:17.380 to point fingers

00:59:18.280 at the outlier

00:59:18.900 that comes in

00:59:19.600 to say this

00:59:20.160 is bad

00:59:20.620 right

00:59:21.680 instead of

00:59:25.380 you know

00:59:25.760 saying this

00:59:26.220 is good

00:59:26.640 from all

00:59:27.100 the you

00:59:27.600 know

00:59:27.800 bribes

00:59:29.080 or whatever

00:59:29.300 they get

00:59:29.560 I don't

00:59:29.760 know

00:59:30.000 or whatever

00:59:31.320 their end

00:59:31.880 goal is

00:59:32.500 but anyway

00:59:33.840 to say

00:59:34.100 this

00:59:34.240 bad

00:59:34.380 so I

00:59:35.120 just knew

00:59:35.420 going up

00:59:35.760 against it

00:59:36.100 was going

00:59:36.300 to be

00:59:36.440 tough

00:59:36.740 and it

00:59:37.160 turned out

00:59:37.760 it was

00:59:38.800 okay

00:59:39.120 and we

00:59:40.680 did well

00:59:41.140 and yeah

00:59:43.380 the kids

00:59:43.800 super clothing

00:59:44.760 you know

00:59:45.800 it's nice

00:59:46.400 neat stuff

00:59:47.240 and calm

00:59:47.880 the guy

00:59:48.340 who runs

00:59:48.700 it was

00:59:48.920 very neat

00:59:49.540 Andrew

00:59:50.120 Schultz

00:59:50.640 was there

00:59:51.120 that was

00:59:51.500 fun to

00:59:51.880 get to

00:59:52.120 spend time

00:59:52.560 with him

00:59:53.180 it was

00:59:55.240 great

00:59:55.600 man

00:59:55.860 that was

00:59:56.160 exciting

00:59:56.720 I went

00:59:58.960 for a

00:59:59.320 walk

00:59:59.800 I didn't

01:00:03.360 try to

01:00:03.660 do too

01:00:04.020 much

01:00:04.260 in

01:00:04.440 France

01:00:04.660 because

01:00:04.920 I

01:00:05.140 wasn't

01:00:05.420 there

01:00:05.640 long

01:00:05.980 and you

01:00:08.220 get out

01:00:08.620 in the

01:00:08.880 streets

01:00:09.220 and it's

01:00:09.560 you know

01:00:09.920 it's

01:00:10.740 French

01:00:11.200 people are

01:00:13.280 French and

01:00:13.800 you know 1.00

01:00:14.040 just fucking 1.00

01:00:14.540 French and 0.99

01:00:15.040 around

01:00:15.440 dog

01:00:15.820 but we

01:00:17.400 got to

01:00:17.720 go out

01:00:18.060 at night

01:00:18.400 we went

01:00:18.760 in they

01:00:18.980 had nice

01:00:19.420 music

01:00:19.820 at night

01:00:20.400 and just

01:00:20.780 the whole

01:00:21.040 experience

01:00:21.440 was fancy

01:00:22.040 and it

01:00:22.460 actually

01:00:22.720 ended up

01:00:22.960 being a

01:00:23.260 good

01:00:23.420 experience

01:00:24.100 sometimes

01:00:25.860 I carry

01:00:26.560 old

01:00:27.220 ideas

01:00:28.080 into

01:00:28.440 things

01:00:29.100 and so

01:00:31.440 I got to

01:00:31.840 kind of

01:00:32.140 monitor

01:00:32.560 that

01:00:33.220 but my

01:00:35.520 nerves

01:00:35.940 are warnings

01:00:36.680 for me

01:00:37.560 and they

01:00:37.920 say hey

01:00:38.340 this is

01:00:38.740 what's up

01:00:39.380 beware

01:00:40.560 of this

01:00:41.140 and

01:00:42.440 and I'm

01:00:43.980 glad that

01:00:44.340 they're there

01:00:44.740 those are

01:00:45.200 instincts

01:00:45.700 too

01:00:45.980 sometimes

01:00:46.540 it's not

01:00:47.100 nerves

01:00:47.420 it's

01:00:47.660 instincts

01:00:48.260 and you

01:00:49.620 got to

01:00:49.860 really ask

01:00:50.480 them

01:00:50.600 are you

01:00:50.800 a nerve

01:00:51.280 are you

01:00:51.600 an

01:00:51.740 instinct

01:00:52.260 tell me

01:00:53.220 you got

01:00:54.600 to figure

01:00:54.920 it out

01:00:55.360 okay let's

01:00:56.200 get into

01:00:56.420 a call

01:00:56.760 or two

01:00:57.260 here we

01:00:59.740 go

01:00:59.880 something

01:01:00.080 that came

01:01:00.420 from you

01:01:00.880 guys

01:01:01.440 here we

01:01:02.240 go

01:01:02.700 hi

01:01:04.140 this is

01:01:05.280 Faye

01:01:05.640 from Salt

01:01:06.200 Lake

01:01:06.420 City

01:01:06.820 hello

01:01:07.720 Faye

01:01:08.340 from Salt

01:01:09.200 Lake

01:01:09.640 baby

01:01:10.020 and I

01:01:11.420 like salt

01:01:12.140 onward

01:01:13.680 I just

01:01:16.120 wanted to

01:01:16.580 say that

01:01:17.500 I love

01:01:18.020 this show

01:01:18.560 and it's

01:01:20.180 had more

01:01:20.560 of an impact

01:01:21.280 than you

01:01:21.600 would probably

01:01:22.080 think

01:01:22.680 because

01:01:23.800 it is

01:01:24.800 oddly

01:01:25.140 enough

01:01:25.620 the only

01:01:26.540 thing

01:01:26.980 that calms

01:01:27.800 down

01:01:28.220 my

01:01:28.700 78

01:01:29.620 year old

01:01:30.020 grandma

01:01:30.460 with

01:01:31.340 dementia

01:01:31.760 if you

01:01:33.460 don't know

01:01:33.760 dementia

01:01:34.160 is when

01:01:34.800 the Lord

01:01:35.660 starts

01:01:36.240 deleting all

01:01:37.140 the files

01:01:37.640 in your

01:01:37.940 brain

01:01:38.360 yeah I'm

01:01:39.300 like her

01:01:39.620 main

01:01:39.840 caregiver

01:01:40.320 oh yeah

01:01:41.540 that's that

01:01:43.320 spyware baby

01:01:44.100 the devil

01:01:44.500 spyware

01:01:45.240 baby

01:01:45.600 onward

01:01:46.220 yeah I'm

01:01:47.440 like her

01:01:47.780 main

01:01:47.980 caregiver

01:01:48.520 outside of

01:01:51.820 my grandpa

01:01:52.300 so three

01:01:52.760 days a week

01:01:53.280 she's over

01:01:53.740 here and

01:01:54.140 she gets

01:01:54.440 real restless

01:01:55.040 without him

01:01:55.860 one day my

01:01:58.060 fiance had

01:01:58.640 the idea

01:01:59.160 to just

01:02:00.160 throw on

01:02:00.660 this past

01:02:01.140 weekend

01:02:01.440 put it on

01:02:01.860 the tv

01:02:02.360 cast it

01:02:03.400 from youtube

01:02:04.080 to the tv

01:02:04.820 and it was

01:02:06.220 like magic

01:02:06.820 and now

01:02:08.020 like the

01:02:08.740 whole family

01:02:09.420 knows to do

01:02:10.220 it when

01:02:10.520 she's getting

01:02:10.920 nervous

01:02:11.360 oh

01:02:13.260 well that's

01:02:15.560 sweet

01:02:16.000 that's really

01:02:18.520 sweet I think

01:02:19.160 it's sweet that

01:02:19.620 you spend time

01:02:20.220 with your

01:02:20.480 grandmother I'm

01:02:20.940 sorry that

01:02:21.480 that

01:02:22.940 that parts of

01:02:25.580 her just kind

01:02:26.180 of eroding back

01:02:27.000 into the

01:02:27.480 universe you

01:02:28.180 know

01:02:28.440 that's a lot

01:02:30.220 you know I'm

01:02:32.920 amazed how much

01:02:33.460 care you have

01:02:34.160 in you that's

01:02:34.640 pretty fascinating

01:02:35.540 um

01:02:36.520 and I'm

01:02:37.980 grateful that

01:02:38.520 somehow maybe

01:02:40.380 I'm able to be

01:02:41.240 a part of

01:02:42.140 uh

01:02:42.760 of spending

01:02:44.280 time with

01:02:44.800 her

01:02:45.080 you know my

01:02:47.620 dad was 76

01:02:48.400 when he passed

01:02:49.100 and it's nice

01:02:50.180 now I get to

01:02:50.720 spend time with

01:02:51.280 a 78 year old

01:02:52.480 that's nice

01:02:55.220 you know

01:02:59.140 that's nice

01:02:59.680 it's uh

01:03:00.460 there's all

01:03:02.440 these little

01:03:02.900 ways that we

01:03:03.680 get

01:03:04.080 our loose

01:03:07.180 ends kind

01:03:07.700 of tied

01:03:08.180 you know

01:03:08.620 uh

01:03:10.760 so many

01:03:11.160 unexpected

01:03:11.600 ways

01:03:11.980 let me

01:03:12.140 hear more

01:03:12.660 just that

01:03:13.820 first order

01:03:14.580 of business

01:03:14.940 throw on

01:03:15.480 Theo

01:03:15.720 give her

01:03:16.200 some ice

01:03:16.600 cream

01:03:16.860 and throw

01:03:17.220 on Theo

01:03:17.680 now I

01:03:18.800 see what

01:03:19.120 now I

01:03:19.540 think she

01:03:20.040 might have

01:03:20.500 y'all

01:03:20.760 I think a lot

01:03:21.680 of this is

01:03:22.080 about the

01:03:22.480 ice cream

01:03:23.000 and that's

01:03:23.420 how I look

01:03:23.900 so a lot

01:03:24.720 of people

01:03:24.980 will fake

01:03:25.500 dementia

01:03:25.960 to get

01:03:26.260 ice cream

01:03:26.820 and who

01:03:30.140 can blame

01:03:30.720 them

01:03:30.880 homie

01:03:31.220 to be honest

01:03:32.640 I go live

01:03:33.220 in a senior

01:03:33.660 center

01:03:34.000 right now

01:03:34.740 I think

01:03:36.180 the age

01:03:36.720 you got

01:03:36.980 to be

01:03:37.200 is 55

01:03:37.900 or 59

01:03:38.780 right

01:03:39.220 a lot

01:03:39.580 of them

01:03:39.760 in Arkansas

01:03:40.280 they

01:03:40.600 I think

01:03:41.720 it's

01:03:42.020 I want

01:03:42.340 to say

01:03:42.580 54

01:03:43.080 but I

01:03:44.640 in a

01:03:45.060 heartbeat

01:03:45.500 I would

01:03:45.860 go live

01:03:46.260 in

01:03:46.500 you get

01:03:47.080 games

01:03:47.660 every day

01:03:48.340 with other

01:03:49.280 people

01:03:49.700 right

01:03:49.920 you can

01:03:50.180 play board

01:03:50.620 games

01:03:50.920 at 4

01:03:51.460 445

01:03:52.960 bro

01:03:53.620 y'all 1.00

01:03:53.920 fucking 1.00

01:03:54.440 eating 1.00

01:03:54.860 bitch 1.00

01:03:55.820 I'd 1.00

01:03:57.560 go live

01:03:57.900 in a

01:03:58.180 senior

01:03:58.540 center

01:03:58.960 right

01:03:59.520 now

01:04:00.360 you know

01:04:01.540 how much

01:04:02.120 work

01:04:02.560 and

01:04:02.780 enjoyable

01:04:03.840 things

01:04:04.520 you would

01:04:04.860 get done

01:04:05.500 play the

01:04:06.020 piano

01:04:06.640 talk to

01:04:08.620 somebody

01:04:08.900 about a

01:04:09.400 war

01:04:09.880 I mean

01:04:12.860 God

01:04:13.600 you know

01:04:14.420 put up a

01:04:16.020 wanted poster

01:04:16.740 of Bobby

01:04:17.240 Lee

01:04:17.520 outside of

01:04:18.060 your door

01:04:18.600 VFW

01:04:20.940 meeting

01:04:21.380 tonight

01:04:21.900 in the

01:04:23.340 game room

01:04:24.000 you know

01:04:24.240 what I'm

01:04:24.440 talking

01:04:24.720 about

01:04:25.140 and it's

01:04:27.840 crazy

01:04:28.080 she thinks 0.98

01:04:28.620 that you're

01:04:29.000 here in

01:04:29.480 the living

01:04:29.840 room with

01:04:30.260 her

01:04:30.520 talking to

01:04:31.600 her

01:04:31.760 and she

01:04:32.060 just

01:04:32.240 she thinks

01:04:33.380 she's

01:04:33.680 talking to

01:04:34.160 you

01:04:34.260 basically

01:04:34.700 she thinks

01:04:35.260 she's

01:04:35.520 a guest

01:04:35.900 but yeah

01:04:37.860 I'm

01:04:38.940 I'm a

01:04:39.380 fan

01:04:39.740 grandma's

01:04:40.500 a fan

01:04:40.980 whole

01:04:41.480 family

01:04:41.940 really

01:04:42.540 well man

01:04:44.080 I'm honored

01:04:44.740 to have her

01:04:45.140 on every

01:04:45.520 single week

01:04:46.140 maybe it'd

01:04:47.320 be interesting

01:04:47.740 to have her

01:04:48.140 on I

01:04:48.420 don't know

01:04:49.080 I'm having

01:04:49.560 my producer

01:04:49.960 reach out

01:04:50.520 this is

01:04:50.980 I mean

01:04:51.340 you know

01:04:51.840 it may be

01:04:52.640 a lot

01:04:53.020 to put

01:04:53.360 somebody

01:04:53.620 with that

01:04:53.940 on but

01:04:54.260 there could

01:04:54.880 be some

01:04:55.120 fascination

01:04:55.760 to it

01:04:56.280 but I'm

01:04:57.980 happy to

01:04:58.320 have her

01:04:58.640 I'm happy

01:04:59.280 that she

01:04:59.620 is a

01:04:59.880 guest

01:05:00.120 every week

01:05:00.700 and I'm

01:05:02.060 happy to

01:05:02.740 be a little

01:05:03.580 part of

01:05:03.860 y'all's

01:05:04.060 lives

01:05:04.280 and for

01:05:05.120 sharing that

01:05:05.680 she's a

01:05:05.980 part of

01:05:06.240 mine

01:05:06.560 that's

01:05:07.300 awesome

01:05:07.660 dude

01:05:08.000 that's

01:05:08.320 so cool

01:05:08.880 thank you

01:05:10.380 and give

01:05:10.940 her a hug

01:05:11.360 for me

01:05:11.640 if you're

01:05:11.840 allowed to

01:05:12.160 touch her

01:05:12.440 I don't

01:05:12.580 know if

01:05:12.780 people

01:05:13.020 like being

01:05:13.980 touched

01:05:14.340 or not

01:05:14.840 if they

01:05:15.560 are 0.97

01:05:16.220 demented 0.99

01:05:18.560 or whatever

01:05:19.020 all right

01:05:21.400 let's get

01:05:21.800 one more

01:05:22.160 call here

01:05:23.140 that came

01:05:24.200 in

01:05:24.860 let's go

01:05:27.600 hey Theo

01:05:31.060 this is

01:05:31.660 John from

01:05:32.380 Minneapolis

01:05:32.900 Minnesota

01:05:33.540 what's up

01:05:34.620 John from

01:05:35.200 Minneapolis

01:05:35.700 and sorry

01:05:37.080 about what

01:05:37.540 happened to

01:05:37.800 your Vikings

01:05:38.240 but

01:05:38.740 y'all beat

01:05:41.480 the Saints a

01:05:42.000 while back on

01:05:42.500 that Minnesota

01:05:42.960 miracle so

01:05:43.940 that's life

01:05:45.820 bruh

01:05:46.560 I've been

01:05:48.120 listening to

01:05:48.680 your podcast

01:05:49.220 now for

01:05:50.080 about a

01:05:50.780 year and

01:05:51.780 over the

01:05:52.120 course of

01:05:52.500 this year

01:05:53.040 I've just

01:05:53.780 been uplifted

01:05:54.680 by it so

01:05:55.480 much

01:05:56.100 I work for

01:05:57.900 my dad and

01:05:58.480 I listen to

01:06:01.040 your podcast

01:06:01.640 almost every

01:06:02.380 single day

01:06:02.980 he owns a

01:06:04.020 window cleaning

01:06:04.460 business and

01:06:05.560 was recently

01:06:06.320 diagnosed with

01:06:07.260 stage 4 brain

01:06:08.840 cancer though

01:06:10.000 me and my

01:06:11.020 brother have

01:06:11.860 been having

01:06:12.600 to kind of

01:06:13.200 take over for

01:06:14.060 him and

01:06:15.860 it's just been

01:06:16.880 a really tough

01:06:17.600 time for my

01:06:18.200 family to

01:06:18.800 anyways I

01:06:22.520 know you

01:06:23.320 lost your

01:06:23.780 father kind

01:06:24.340 of young

01:06:24.800 I'm young

01:06:25.640 myself not

01:06:26.340 as young as

01:06:26.860 you were but

01:06:27.700 I'm only 21

01:06:29.020 and I'm just

01:06:31.140 hoping you might

01:06:31.880 have some advice

01:06:32.860 for me on how

01:06:33.640 to move forward

01:06:34.360 to this time

01:06:35.160 of life just

01:06:37.140 finding it real

01:06:37.760 hard

01:06:38.100 you know I

01:06:41.020 talked about

01:06:42.760 this a little

01:06:43.180 bit on the

01:06:43.500 Louie episode

01:06:44.060 where you

01:06:45.160 know

01:06:45.400 my dad had

01:06:47.180 a girlfriend

01:06:47.540 in his later

01:06:48.140 years and

01:06:48.920 we went over

01:06:50.600 to her I

01:06:51.520 was over at

01:06:51.920 her house

01:06:52.360 one night and

01:06:53.000 she had a

01:06:54.160 nice house

01:06:54.860 man and

01:06:55.500 this the

01:06:56.340 it looked

01:06:59.000 like a

01:06:59.640 it was like a

01:07:02.140 big apartment

01:07:02.720 like a condo

01:07:03.740 I'd never been

01:07:04.800 in a condo

01:07:05.480 before and it

01:07:06.240 had like big

01:07:07.400 windows and

01:07:08.640 she made

01:07:11.440 these roast

01:07:11.960 beef sandwiches

01:07:12.740 and the roast

01:07:13.280 beef was like

01:07:13.880 in a pot and

01:07:14.720 it had like

01:07:15.160 sauce with it

01:07:16.080 and I'd

01:07:17.780 never seen

01:07:18.240 anything like

01:07:18.880 it you know

01:07:20.420 I just felt

01:07:21.000 like I

01:07:21.500 I just felt

01:07:23.900 like the meat

01:07:24.420 itself had

01:07:25.080 just drowned

01:07:26.660 itself and

01:07:27.740 done it on

01:07:29.700 purpose for me

01:07:30.500 it was that

01:07:31.160 good you know

01:07:32.040 and uh

01:07:35.060 and

01:07:37.600 I remember

01:07:39.700 being over

01:07:40.240 there one

01:07:40.620 night and

01:07:41.040 my dad had

01:07:42.880 gotten uh

01:07:43.940 I didn't know

01:07:44.580 that my dad

01:07:44.900 was sick

01:07:45.400 right and

01:07:45.900 and in the

01:07:47.260 middle of the

01:07:47.560 night we

01:07:47.900 would sleep

01:07:48.220 out on the

01:07:48.520 couch at her

01:07:49.120 place because

01:07:49.640 they didn't

01:07:50.120 have um

01:07:51.440 because my

01:07:52.660 dad was

01:07:52.980 sleeping in the

01:07:53.360 extra she had

01:07:53.960 an extra room

01:07:54.380 my dad was

01:07:54.800 sleeping there

01:07:55.280 and then we

01:07:55.840 slept on the

01:07:56.220 couch

01:07:56.500 couch was

01:07:57.680 nice boy

01:07:58.440 and um

01:08:00.880 and and

01:08:02.960 my dad had

01:08:03.440 got up in

01:08:03.740 the middle of

01:08:04.020 the night and

01:08:04.220 he was going

01:08:04.560 down the hall

01:08:05.060 towards her

01:08:05.520 room and

01:08:06.020 um and

01:08:08.560 I was I

01:08:09.020 was awake

01:08:09.540 and I was

01:08:10.400 like what is

01:08:10.840 he doing is

01:08:11.580 he you know

01:08:13.300 is my dad 0.95

01:08:13.760 sexually active 0.54

01:08:14.620 I didn't know

01:08:15.400 you know I

01:08:16.340 didn't know what

01:08:17.040 they were doing

01:08:17.800 you know I

01:08:18.740 knew it could

01:08:19.300 I just didn't

01:08:20.300 know and

01:08:23.040 so I kind of

01:08:23.940 went over there

01:08:24.700 you know because

01:08:25.720 I'm a 0.95

01:08:26.120 pervert 0.95

01:08:28.200 and I went 0.83

01:08:31.120 and I saw

01:08:32.440 that my dad

01:08:33.100 had like uh

01:08:34.200 he had like

01:08:36.720 diarrhea'd

01:08:37.720 himself

01:08:38.160 and um

01:08:40.940 and he was

01:08:43.980 going to ask

01:08:44.760 her he was

01:08:45.300 asking her for 0.88

01:08:45.960 help you know

01:08:47.100 and uh

01:08:48.200 and yeah it

01:08:54.940 just um

01:08:55.940 and like

01:08:59.540 six weeks

01:09:00.000 after that

01:09:00.440 he he

01:09:01.140 he passed

01:09:03.200 away I mean

01:09:03.600 that was when

01:09:04.000 I first found

01:09:04.620 out that he

01:09:05.020 was sick

01:09:05.680 um

01:09:07.080 and

01:09:13.440 yeah I think

01:09:15.180 it was just

01:09:15.580 such a moment

01:09:16.180 of like okay

01:09:16.760 here's

01:09:17.320 is this guy

01:09:18.120 what is

01:09:21.200 is there

01:09:22.020 sex going 0.57

01:09:22.700 here or

01:09:22.920 what and

01:09:23.220 then it's

01:09:23.720 scary it was

01:09:24.600 just a lot

01:09:25.120 of stuff

01:09:25.620 you know

01:09:27.220 uh

01:09:28.040 so yeah I

01:09:31.500 can't you know

01:09:31.900 I don't know

01:09:32.560 what's going on

01:09:32.960 in your world

01:09:33.300 and so I didn't

01:09:33.780 mean to make

01:09:34.080 that about me

01:09:34.740 it just that

01:09:35.520 made me think

01:09:36.020 about that and

01:09:36.620 I just talked

01:09:37.360 about it on that

01:09:37.860 Louie episode a

01:09:38.520 little bit

01:09:38.960 um

01:09:39.480 but just that

01:09:42.600 it was just

01:09:43.040 scary

01:09:43.520 you know and

01:09:45.720 I remember

01:09:46.080 being scared

01:09:46.840 um

01:09:47.680 and you know

01:09:48.920 um

01:09:49.320 it

01:09:50.280 it's so

01:09:51.340 neat that

01:09:51.640 your dad

01:09:52.340 has a

01:09:52.740 business

01:09:53.040 that you

01:09:53.420 and your

01:09:53.620 brother are

01:09:53.980 working in

01:09:54.480 that's so

01:09:54.900 cool

01:09:55.160 that's a

01:09:55.520 piece of

01:09:55.860 him

01:09:56.120 you know

01:09:58.040 that's a

01:10:01.020 piece of

01:10:01.320 him

01:10:01.460 that's things

01:10:01.880 that we

01:10:02.200 miss in

01:10:02.580 the world

01:10:02.920 is when

01:10:03.240 our dads

01:10:03.700 would do

01:10:04.040 something

01:10:04.320 and then

01:10:04.620 the sons

01:10:05.000 would carry

01:10:05.480 it on

01:10:05.820 and it

01:10:06.080 wasn't

01:10:06.380 like

01:10:06.640 you know

01:10:08.380 before

01:10:08.740 everything

01:10:09.140 got all

01:10:09.540 globalized

01:10:10.440 and

01:10:10.700 we sold

01:10:13.020 out a lot

01:10:13.540 of our

01:10:13.780 values

01:10:14.340 for

01:10:14.780 uh

01:10:16.380 for

01:10:17.980 the benefit

01:10:20.800 of few

01:10:21.340 you know

01:10:22.240 and

01:10:22.520 um

01:10:23.680 sorry

01:10:25.560 that was

01:10:25.820 a little

01:10:26.020 political

01:10:26.380 there

01:10:26.580 but

01:10:26.840 uh

01:10:27.900 it was

01:10:28.500 when they

01:10:28.820 you know

01:10:29.100 more mom

01:10:30.460 and pop

01:10:30.940 operations

01:10:31.620 because with

01:10:32.020 mom and pop

01:10:32.560 come children

01:10:33.260 and then

01:10:33.940 the children

01:10:35.120 become the

01:10:35.620 mom and pop

01:10:36.320 and then

01:10:36.820 there's something

01:10:38.060 you've created

01:10:38.700 that carries

01:10:39.240 on through

01:10:39.720 you

01:10:40.080 you know

01:10:40.720 uh

01:10:41.200 but um

01:10:42.820 but it's

01:10:46.560 beautiful

01:10:47.080 that you guys

01:10:47.440 have that

01:10:47.980 you know

01:10:48.460 and

01:10:49.220 sometimes

01:10:49.720 if I want

01:10:50.120 to think

01:10:50.400 about my

01:10:50.740 dad

01:10:51.040 or feel

01:10:51.420 what he

01:10:51.680 feels like

01:10:52.380 you know

01:10:52.820 I uh

01:10:53.660 I'll

01:10:56.080 I'll put

01:10:57.840 my hand

01:10:58.240 like on

01:10:58.480 my heart

01:10:59.020 um

01:11:00.580 because

01:11:02.420 my heartbeat

01:11:03.140 came from

01:11:03.700 my dad

01:11:04.280 you know

01:11:04.620 and my mom

01:11:05.300 and so

01:11:05.720 I'm a remix

01:11:06.540 of my parents

01:11:07.460 um

01:11:08.860 and when

01:11:10.440 I miss

01:11:10.760 my dad

01:11:11.340 uh

01:11:12.160 you know

01:11:13.620 this is the

01:11:14.180 sound that

01:11:14.600 he made

01:11:15.240 it's a sound

01:11:18.280 that he made

01:11:19.080 that was in

01:11:20.500 him

01:11:20.740 part of

01:11:21.140 the sound

01:11:21.720 that's inside

01:11:22.220 of me

01:11:22.480 the beat

01:11:22.920 that comes

01:11:23.420 in me

01:11:23.840 that stays

01:11:25.020 alive

01:11:25.360 was in

01:11:25.660 my father

01:11:26.200 and the

01:11:28.520 only place

01:11:29.040 it is now

01:11:29.500 it's in

01:11:29.820 me

01:11:30.060 you know

01:11:30.460 it's in

01:11:31.340 my siblings

01:11:31.800 too

01:11:32.060 but

01:11:32.340 part of

01:11:33.180 it is

01:11:33.380 in me

01:11:33.820 and that's

01:11:35.260 his sound

01:11:35.900 that is

01:11:36.240 his sound

01:11:37.080 and that

01:11:41.240 gives me

01:11:41.560 some solace

01:11:42.200 sometimes

01:11:42.580 it gives

01:11:42.980 me

01:11:43.980 some

01:11:46.580 solace

01:11:47.180 sometimes

01:11:48.240 but I'm

01:11:53.480 sorry

01:11:53.720 you guys

01:11:54.040 are doing

01:11:54.220 that

01:11:54.340 I'm

01:11:54.480 blessed

01:11:54.740 it's

01:11:55.240 it's

01:11:55.860 it's a

01:11:56.260 blessing

01:11:56.480 you have

01:11:56.660 a brother

01:11:56.980 there

01:11:57.220 to go

01:11:57.560 through it

01:11:57.880 with you

01:11:58.400 and you're

01:12:00.780 able

01:12:01.120 you're

01:12:01.420 you have a

01:12:01.960 relationship

01:12:02.320 with your

01:12:02.600 father

01:12:02.820 it sounds

01:12:03.060 like you're

01:12:03.340 going to be

01:12:03.540 able to deal

01:12:04.120 with some

01:12:04.420 of this

01:12:04.580 and process

01:12:05.100 it

01:12:05.460 and

01:12:05.700 I would

01:12:07.580 get some

01:12:08.020 recordings

01:12:08.480 with your

01:12:08.840 dad

01:12:09.060 if he

01:12:09.420 is still

01:12:10.040 alive

01:12:10.260 I couldn't

01:12:10.600 tell from

01:12:10.880 the call

01:12:11.300 and spend

01:12:11.720 some time

01:12:12.120 with him

01:12:12.360 as much

01:12:12.660 as you

01:12:12.900 can

01:12:13.120 and get

01:12:13.360 some of

01:12:13.620 that video

01:12:14.060 and audio

01:12:14.440 recorded

01:12:14.820 to always

01:12:15.380 have that

01:12:15.980 you know

01:12:18.260 I don't

01:12:18.540 have a few

01:12:19.120 pictures

01:12:19.460 from my

01:12:20.140 dad

01:12:20.580 and

01:12:23.040 you know

01:12:24.980 his other

01:12:25.940 family took

01:12:26.700 everything

01:12:28.740 else

01:12:29.260 and

01:12:29.840 yes

01:12:30.920 I'm kind

01:12:31.520 of resentful

01:12:31.920 about that 1.00

01:12:32.320 shit 1.00

01:12:32.580 but anyway 0.99

01:12:36.240 I'm sorry

01:12:36.780 you're going

01:12:37.120 through that

01:12:37.620 man

01:12:37.940 thanks for

01:12:38.380 sharing

01:12:38.920 and keep

01:12:40.560 sharing it

01:12:41.080 with people

01:12:41.520 because other

01:12:42.000 people are

01:12:42.340 going to have

01:12:42.600 little things

01:12:43.380 that will

01:12:43.660 help you

01:12:44.200 and

01:12:45.300 that's what

01:12:47.780 I got

01:12:48.180 man

01:12:48.700 what else

01:12:50.300 yeah I

01:12:52.520 didn't mean

01:12:52.760 to finish up

01:12:53.260 on a downer

01:12:53.740 there I

01:12:54.060 loved watching

01:12:54.820 Brandon

01:12:55.780 Moreno

01:12:56.360 fight

01:12:56.960 I'm so

01:12:58.580 happy for

01:12:59.100 him baby

01:12:59.900 that was

01:13:00.900 amazing

01:13:01.580 I can't

01:13:02.800 believe I

01:13:03.000 got to

01:13:03.180 go to

01:13:03.420 France

01:13:03.940 what the 0.97

01:13:04.400 heck 0.97

01:13:04.700 man

01:13:05.100 I'm

01:13:07.520 excited

01:13:07.940 this week

01:13:08.500 we'll be

01:13:08.780 in Louisville

01:13:09.400 and Indianapolis

01:13:10.420 some new

01:13:12.420 shows are on

01:13:13.000 sale

01:13:13.480 and

01:13:14.920 yeah just

01:13:17.400 thank you

01:13:17.720 guys for

01:13:17.980 being a part

01:13:18.400 of my

01:13:18.620 life

01:13:19.120 and

01:13:21.740 you know

01:13:23.580 just try

01:13:24.120 and be

01:13:24.340 good to

01:13:24.600 yourselves

01:13:25.060 you know

01:13:25.620 that's the

01:13:26.300 same thing

01:13:26.620 I'm going

01:13:26.880 to do

01:13:27.160 I haven't

01:13:27.540 had anything

01:13:28.020 to eat

01:13:28.320 today except

01:13:28.720 for this

01:13:29.100 caffeine

01:13:29.620 and some

01:13:30.700 antidepressants

01:13:31.580 so I'm

01:13:33.360 going to

01:13:33.440 go meet

01:13:33.720 my friend

01:13:34.220 Tim

01:13:34.620 and eat

01:13:35.840 and

01:13:36.900 yeah

01:13:40.260 you know

01:13:42.840 we just

01:13:43.380 don't know

01:13:43.600 where the

01:13:43.820 possibility is

01:13:44.420 going to

01:13:44.580 come from

01:13:45.180 you know

01:13:48.280 and if I

01:13:48.620 shut myself

01:13:49.200 all the way

01:13:49.920 off then I

01:13:50.620 might not

01:13:50.940 I might

01:13:51.240 miss it

01:13:51.840 and

01:13:58.300 there's still

01:13:58.660 a part

01:13:58.860 of me

01:13:58.980 that wants

01:13:59.260 to shut 0.69

01:13:59.580 myself

01:13:59.900 all the

01:14:00.280 way

01:14:00.440 off

01:14:00.720 isn't

01:14:00.920 that

01:14:01.060 crazy

01:14:01.400 I want

01:14:02.040 to

01:14:02.140 just

01:14:02.700 close

01:14:03.140 it

01:14:03.320 down

01:14:03.560 I'm

01:14:03.740 not

01:14:03.840 talking

01:14:04.000 about

01:14:04.160 take

01:14:04.360 my

01:14:04.520 life

01:14:04.800 or

01:14:04.900 anything

01:14:05.000 I'm

01:14:05.120 just

01:14:05.260 saying

01:14:05.440 you know

01:14:06.100 I want

01:14:06.340 to

01:14:06.420 make

01:14:06.600 myself

01:14:07.200 unavailable

01:14:08.680 but

01:14:12.800 but

01:14:18.060 but then

01:14:18.600 we might

01:14:19.100 miss out

01:14:19.700 you know

01:14:21.080 and so

01:14:23.020 you step

01:14:23.400 back in

01:14:23.840 you put

01:14:24.080 the right

01:14:24.400 foot in

01:14:24.920 you put

01:14:26.200 the left

01:14:26.540 foot in

01:14:27.100 and some

01:14:29.920 somebody

01:14:30.520 great

01:14:30.880 something

01:14:31.560 whatever

01:14:32.140 something

01:14:33.440 is going

01:14:33.720 to come

01:14:33.960 and meet

01:14:34.340 you there

01:14:34.880 you know

01:14:40.660 and actually

01:14:42.540 you know

01:14:42.680 what I'm

01:14:42.880 going to

01:14:43.000 change

01:14:43.180 it

01:14:43.260 up

01:14:43.340 we're

01:14:43.460 going

01:14:43.560 to go

01:14:43.840 out

01:14:44.220 like we

01:14:47.460 sometimes

01:14:47.900 do

01:14:48.220 man

01:14:48.640 I love

01:14:49.600 you guys

01:14:49.880 thank you

01:14:50.140 for being

01:14:50.320 a part

01:14:50.500 of my

01:14:50.660 life

01:14:50.840 this

01:14:51.060 week

01:14:51.400 if you're

01:14:52.420 struggling

01:14:52.660 with

01:14:52.840 something

01:14:53.180 you just

01:14:55.240 got to

01:14:55.420 make it

01:14:55.600 through

01:14:55.700 today

01:14:56.000 you don't

01:14:56.220 have to

01:14:56.340 make it

01:14:56.540 through

01:14:56.640 a million

01:14:56.940 years

01:14:57.240 you don't

01:14:57.440 have to

01:14:57.560 make it

01:14:57.760 through

01:14:57.880 40

01:14:58.180 years

01:14:58.500 you don't

01:14:58.680 have to

01:14:58.840 make it

01:14:59.020 through

01:14:59.120 10

01:14:59.360 years

01:14:59.540 you have

01:14:59.740 to

01:14:59.820 make it

01:15:00.040 through

01:15:00.140 today

01:15:00.520 you know

01:15:01.860 and

01:15:02.460 you got

01:15:04.300 this 1.00

01:15:04.480 shit 1.00

01:15:04.640 baby 1.00

01:15:04.880 gang

01:15:05.400 baby

01:15:05.840 we got

01:15:07.940 this 1.00

01:15:08.180 shit 1.00

01:15:08.380 baby 1.00

01:15:08.660 gang

01:15:09.140 I'm just

01:15:26.380 sitting on

01:15:27.320 your front

01:15:27.940 porch

01:15:28.440 wondering

01:15:29.020 how could

01:15:29.800 I be

01:15:30.400 so far

01:15:31.220 from my

01:15:32.140 home

01:15:33.640 and my

01:15:37.360 mind is

01:15:38.140 somewhere

01:15:38.580 else

01:15:39.100 but when

01:15:39.760 I find

01:15:40.620 it

01:15:40.840 I'll

01:15:41.260 patch

01:15:41.620 up

01:15:41.920 where

01:15:42.240 it's

01:15:42.620 been

01:15:42.980 blown

01:15:44.480 now

01:15:48.360 I'm

01:15:48.880 just

01:15:49.120 floating

01:15:49.580 on the

01:15:50.220 breeze

01:15:50.720 and I

01:15:51.160 feel

01:15:51.540 I'm

01:15:51.860 going

01:15:52.240 to

01:15:52.620 you

01:15:52.780 ladies and 0.98

01:15:54.980 gentlemen

01:15:55.280 I'm

01:15:55.780 Jonathan

01:15:56.100 Kite

01:15:56.460 and welcome

01:15:57.060 to

01:15:57.300 Kite

01:15:57.520 Club

01:15:57.800 a podcast

01:15:58.720 where I'll

01:15:59.300 be sharing

01:15:59.660 thoughts on

01:16:00.220 things like

01:16:00.720 current events

01:16:01.440 stand-up

01:16:02.220 stories

01:16:02.660 and seven

01:16:03.460 ways to

01:16:03.980 pleasure

01:16:04.280 your

01:16:04.560 partner

01:16:04.980 the answer

01:16:06.040 may shock

01:16:06.600 you

01:16:06.900 sometimes

01:16:07.560 I'll

01:16:07.940 interview

01:16:08.200 my

01:16:08.440 friends

01:16:08.920 sometimes

01:16:09.680 I won't

01:16:10.240 and as

01:16:11.400 always

01:16:11.760 I'll be

01:16:12.160 joined by

01:16:12.580 the voices

01:16:13.000 in my

01:16:13.400 head

01:16:13.720 you have

01:16:14.600 three

01:16:15.220 new

01:16:15.760 voice

01:16:16.120 messages

01:16:16.600 a lot

01:16:17.660 of people

01:16:18.040 are talking

01:16:18.580 about

01:16:18.940 Kite

01:16:19.260 Club

01:16:19.600 I've

01:16:20.140 been

01:16:20.280 talking

01:16:20.680 about

01:16:21.060 Kite

01:16:21.360 Club

01:16:21.580 for so

01:16:22.020 long

01:16:22.400 longer

01:16:22.860 than

01:16:23.120 anybody

01:16:23.560 else

01:16:24.040 so

01:16:24.400 great

01:16:24.860 I

01:16:25.820 see

01:16:26.340 you

01:16:26.820 anyone

01:16:28.800 who

01:16:29.120 doesn't

01:16:29.400 listen

01:16:29.640 to

01:16:29.800 Kite

01:16:30.080 Club

01:16:30.340 is

01:16:30.780 a

01:16:30.940 dodgy

01:16:31.200 bloody 1.00

01:16:31.500 wanker 1.00

01:16:32.380 I'll 0.99

01:16:34.900 take

01:16:35.060 a

01:16:35.200 quarter

01:16:35.440 pounder

01:16:35.880 with

01:16:36.040 cheese

01:16:36.380 and

01:16:36.720 a

01:16:36.800 McFlurry

01:16:37.400 sorry sir

01:16:37.980 but our

01:16:38.220 ice cream

01:16:38.520 machine

01:16:38.780 is

01:16:38.940 broken

01:16:39.240 I

01:16:41.820 think

01:16:42.600 Tom

01:16:42.880 Hanks

01:16:43.120 just 0.91

01:16:43.320 butt

01:16:43.640 dialed

01:16:44.020 me

01:16:44.200 anyway

01:16:44.700 first

01:16:45.360 rule

01:16:45.520 of

01:16:45.640 Kite

01:16:45.840 Club

01:16:46.040 is

01:16:46.620 tell

01:16:46.980 everyone

01:16:47.480 about

01:16:47.800 Kite

01:16:48.080 Club

01:16:48.320 second

01:16:48.800 rule

01:16:49.080 of

01:16:49.240 Kite

01:16:49.460 Club

01:16:49.700 is

01:16:50.260 tell

01:16:50.660 everyone

01:16:51.320 about

01:16:51.840 Kite

01:16:52.160 Club

01:16:52.520 third

01:16:52.960 rule

01:16:53.280 like

01:16:53.860 and

01:16:54.000 subscribe

01:16:54.380 wherever

01:16:54.900 you listen

01:16:55.360 to

01:16:55.500 podcasts

01:16:55.920 or

01:16:56.660 watch

01:16:57.060 us

01:16:57.220 on

01:16:57.380 YouTube

01:16:57.660 yeah

01:16:58.100 and

01:16:58.740 yes

01:16:58.980 don't

01:16:59.280 worry

01:16:59.580 my Brad

01:17:00.240 Pitt

01:17:00.420 impression

01:17:00.820 will

01:17:01.100 get

01:17:01.300 better

This Past Weekend with Theo Von - January 24, 2023

E427 Back From France

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