E431 Dialed In
Episode Stats
Length
1 hour and 11 minutes
Words per Minute
150.36183
Summary
In this episode, Theo talks about his recovery from an eating disorder and how it has changed his life. He also talks about some new tour dates that have been added to his upcoming tour and how he s finally feeling okay.
Transcript
00:00:00.000
We hope you're enjoying your Air Canada flight.
00:00:10.720
Fast-free Wi-Fi means I can make dinner reservations before we land.
00:00:25.260
Wi-Fi available to Airplane members on Equipped Flight.
00:00:30.000
You know, there's a lot of bad habits out there, and I've had them.
00:00:32.520
Jesus, I mean, I have still had most of, you know.
00:00:37.580
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00:01:27.560
I want to announce some new tour dates for you guys.
00:01:33.460
Wednesday, March 22nd, we have a new show added for Houston.
00:01:38.000
It's a new venue at the Bayou Music Center down there.
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March 31st at the Hampton Beach Casino Ballroom.
00:02:04.760
And then Saturday, we will be in Medford, Massachusetts, Saturday, April 1st now, which is just right
00:02:17.220
And Sunday, May 14th, we have the Beacon Theater in New York City.
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And then Friday, July 7th, we have now added the Encore Theater, another show in Las Vegas.
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If you were going there for UFC, you can come to the show the day before.
00:02:42.100
And all those tickets is available at TheoVaughn.com slash T-O-U-R.
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Make sure you're going through there to get tickets.
00:02:51.120
And thank you so much for the support out there in the world.
00:03:09.720
I've been feeling pretty good recently, you know, honestly.
00:03:17.880
You know, I get a little scared sometimes when I think when things are going well or when things
00:03:24.940
are feeling good, it's like, you know, I kind of, I don't know how to handle it.
00:03:36.320
I think there's a little part of me that feels like, oh, well, you don't deserve it or there's,
00:03:41.620
I think I'm just so used to the feelings inside of me over the years not being good ones that I'm, that those are the footprints I still, I'm, those are the footprints I continue to walk in.
00:04:02.280
And so, only recently have I felt like I'm kind of making some new shapes in the mud.
00:04:12.280
And yeah, it's just such a foreign, it's just been foreign to my life to feel okay.
00:04:26.480
Um, and sometimes there's a part of me that doesn't want to, that doesn't want to be, it doesn't, that doesn't want to feel okay.
00:04:37.320
If I'm real honest, um, there's a part of me that always wants to have something wrong.
00:04:45.540
There's a part of me that always wants to be able to look at the world or look at myself or look at my past and say, I told you so, you know, um,
00:05:15.540
so it's, it's scary almost to be like, I think everything's kind of okay.
00:05:33.400
Um, but yeah, I just, I just wanted to kind of check in, uh, with some of just some, you know, I like feelings.
00:05:48.180
I really have been, um, kind of addicted to my own feelings.
00:05:51.640
I realize, you know, I even notice it when I go to like these recovery meetings and stuff, I'll be in there and people are talking about, uh, being addicted to a drug or an alcohol or something.
00:06:05.360
Over, over the years, I've been addicted a lot of times to my own feelings.
00:06:08.720
It's like, it's like, I start having a feeling and then I'll start sipping off that bitch.
00:06:15.760
You know, I start feeling one way and then I'll, I'll, I'll buy an eight ball of my own feelings almost.
00:06:20.980
I'm like, well, I'm going to better, better do a couple grams of this depression.
00:06:25.200
I'm better, I better do a couple, uh, lines of I'm not enough.
00:06:29.880
I, you know, I can get, I can get that, that my feelings become almost the drug that I'm using.
00:06:42.540
Uh, and that's okay if it doesn't, I'm just, I'm just saying what's going on.
00:07:01.500
Uh, I miss my brother, uh, that I've been thinking about him a lot recently.
00:07:11.540
Uh, I went to the Superbowl the other day, which I can't even believe I'm just saying that so casually, but dang, I, you know, I went to the damn Superbowl, uh, which was fine.
00:07:27.480
It's almost a little, you get, you know, you go to the Superbowl and it's such a business.
00:07:36.760
You know, everybody there is, you know, smells like they're a briefcase or, you know, has a, um, business account or something, you know, or is, you know, everybody claims their friends with like, uh, you know, uh, Puff Diddy or Jeff Gordon or some shit or Guy Fieri.
00:08:00.660
Everybody's like, oh, you know, I got, you know, I got seven autograph, uh, spatulas from Guy Fieri.
00:08:11.220
I'm like, all right, well, chill out, you know, big daddy or whatever.
00:08:16.240
But it's like, uh, there's a lot, it's, it just feels like a real businessy event so much so that you almost feel bad for the players on the field because it doesn't seem like it's about the game that much.
00:08:32.460
They stop in the game every 30 seconds, they got, they're selling a toaster, they're selling a Nintendo, you know, they got, they put a new, uh, hearing aid and, you know, in big Ricky, the, uh, offensive top, you know, um, tackle.
00:08:52.760
And they're, you know, look at Ricky, you know, Ricky hears his dog for the first time or whatever, you know, Ricky hears a, uh, uh, someone open a Lunchable for the first time ever.
00:09:08.200
They'll be like, uh, you know, uh, disabled veteran hears, um, wolf howl or, you know, or native American, uh, disabled native American.
00:09:25.100
And they'll have a, uh, they'll have a disabled, uh, NA out there and he's all feathered out or something or he's washing his feet or something and he doesn't know what's going on.
00:09:36.400
And then they put that earpiece in him and then they show the fucking wolf.
00:09:42.180
And then the guy like looks up for the first time, you know,
00:09:49.860
I mean, if I, I got it, if I'm, this is no judgment, but if I'm here, if I've never heard anything my whole life and I hear a fucking wolf set it off, dog, I mean, you got a damn, you got a pretty, you got to come soon.
00:10:05.180
I feel like how, I mean, that's as native and natural as you can get.
00:10:09.680
Um, but anyway, yeah, it was just very corporate, you know, every 30 seconds they're stopping it and selling something and it just gets real corporate to the point where you're like, you almost, it's hard, it's hard to even pay attention to the game.
00:10:25.320
Uh, but I felt grateful to be able to go and have that experience.
00:10:29.800
I went down there with, um, with the Raising Cane's with some of them Louisiana boys.
00:10:38.160
Oh, I mean, I just can't believe I got to go to the dang Superbowl.
00:10:41.740
I was sitting there and Caleb Presley was there and, you know, I'm a fan of his and, um, and it was just interesting.
00:10:49.480
You know, and just like, dude, I can't believe I'm at the Superbowl, you know, it was just, I don't know, kind of blew my own mind.
00:10:59.840
Oh, but here was the thing that happened that made the weekend amazing.
00:11:09.560
I got to meet Drew Brees and I was over there with David Spades and y'all know David Spades.
00:11:16.420
He was one of my heroes and all one of America's heroes.
00:11:37.720
There's like, there's like rich people and somebody's, somebody was like being real rich.
00:11:44.400
And then somebody was next to him and they were, you know, they started crying.
00:11:53.140
So people were just being fucking rich in this place.
00:11:56.040
And, um, and so we walk up and Blake Shelton is there and I like Blake Shelton, man.
00:12:07.840
Um, he is an Oklahoma guy and he, uh, you know, he just sings and he's comfortable, man.
00:12:16.300
And I've met him before and, uh, and I, I, I like him.
00:12:23.700
So anyway, we walk up, Blake Shelton is playing.
00:12:26.160
It's like, it's like the part in the evening at a party where somebody is playing music.
00:12:31.360
And we walk up and there's a guy, Steve Mariucci.
00:12:41.680
I'm not trying to be racial or anything, but that's Italian, you know, and he looks Italian,
00:12:49.000
you know, he looks like if you, if you tickle him, he'll fucking just, he'll tell you all
00:12:54.400
the ingredients of a cannoli, even if he doesn't want to, you know, he just has that, that look
00:12:59.480
to him and I walk up and he, Steve Mariucci is talking to Drew Brees and I've had dreams
00:13:07.320
in my life, in my head where I'm like, how do you meet?
00:13:15.300
You know, does mother nature, is there ever another flood?
00:13:19.380
And one of y'all gets flooded right up next to the other one and you get to finally meet.
00:13:28.620
And I, and, and so when you're with David Spade, David Spade can kind of just go up
00:13:32.400
to anybody and like, be like, and people are like happy about it.
00:13:38.640
So I'm just kind of milling around in the distance being like, Hey, look at David Spade.
00:13:44.540
And, um, and so anyway, he walks, the Spade walks up and I'm just kind of like in his shadow,
00:13:50.540
like kind of there, but hiding, but trying to be like confident.
00:13:54.140
Like, okay, how do I, how do I walk up to Drew Brees?
00:13:57.300
You know, do I look like, uh, do I look right at him?
00:14:09.420
Do I kind of like be like one shoulder is heavier?
00:14:19.180
And so David kind of starts joking and they're both excited to see Spade and they're talking
00:14:25.920
And I know at some point it's coming around that Spade is going to introduce me.
00:14:31.440
So I'm like, what, you know, how do I, how do I look when they, he's like, Hey, this is
00:14:54.400
Like, if, you know, if you ask somebody, how long is something?
00:15:04.640
And I, it was almost like you had given somebody, uh, it was almost like that guy maybe in what's
00:15:13.640
the sport maybe, uh, is that rugby or cricket when the guy does that, you know?
00:15:24.160
Anyway, so I did two hands, I, two hands shaked Mariucci and, and breeze.
00:15:32.620
And so out the gate, I'm like, Oh God, this, you know, I'm not doing that good.
00:15:47.240
I know that, you know, you're supposed to pray for others.
00:15:54.780
And I was right there and I'm like, what do you say?
00:16:11.440
Uh, so anyway, I'm just being alive and, um, and breeze is dialed in, bro.
00:16:22.480
When you're talking to him, he's like, you can see in his eye, bro.
00:16:26.860
He could play for, I think another, I think he could play for another 20 months in the NFL.
00:16:39.680
Like you're talking to him and you can see he's watching like where the waiters and the
00:16:45.900
You know, he can see the, um, you know, that one of the waiters is running an out route to
00:16:52.720
He can see that the bus boy did a curl, but you know, short of the sticks you can.
00:16:57.700
I mean, he's like, he's caught, you know, he's got an audible, he's got Colston going,
00:17:03.480
but there's everything he's, he is monitoring everything while you're there talking to him.
00:17:11.460
He is dialed into life and you don't even know if drew breeze blinks.
00:17:17.100
That's how much he, he blinks when you blink, he sees you blink.
00:17:21.620
So that's when he, that's when he blinks, he ain't missing a moment.
00:17:27.740
And it was interesting because, um, I asked him, I said, Hey, did you guys ever play against
00:17:38.200
And, uh, and breeze was like, yeah, we sure did.
00:17:41.240
And, and if he rattled off the date, he rattled off the score.
00:17:45.740
Um, and if you could just, I mean, he is just an anthology of, uh, of precision is kind
00:17:58.580
of how I would describe as much as I got to, you know, I, I, I got, I got to talk with them
00:18:02.420
for maybe about 10 minutes total and maybe a 90 seconds.
00:18:09.280
I could kind of feel my arms and legs, uh, while I was doing it.
00:18:13.320
Um, so a lot of time I was just pretending to, you know, have a stable, um, uh, what's it
00:18:25.340
So anyway, that's a lot about Drew Brees, but, um, we're going to take some calls that
00:18:31.900
Um, what else I'm going to, I got to meet, Oh, I got to meet, I know I'm name dropping
00:18:39.420
man, but I'm just was so like, uh, George Kittle and I'd seen like videos, George Kittle
00:18:47.960
and, but he, there's that, it's like, it's a me, he, there is, uh, I don't even know it.
00:19:04.040
It's, you got, it's George Kittle is, um, he is an interesting guy.
00:19:12.760
He shows up at a level where you're like, Oh, I didn't know they had this level, you know?
00:19:20.960
I'm, I'm friends with his sister, Emma, uh, Kittle, who is a yoga instructor and she's, uh,
00:19:27.520
And, uh, she taught me yoga in Nashville and, um, so it was just really great.
00:19:40.700
Uh, we're going to talk to the attorney about that.
00:19:51.920
We're going to listen to some of you guys' calls.
00:19:54.340
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Sometimes I don't, I get on here and I don't, I don't know what to tell you about.
00:22:29.280
I don't know what to, um, you know, the whole time I was talking to Drew Brees, I could see
00:22:37.620
him just, he was always every now and then he would glance in the distance and just see
00:22:49.760
Um, the news, man, let's get into a little bit of news.
00:22:53.440
The Ohio, uh, train derailment, a train derailment in East Palestine, Ohio prompted an array of
00:23:02.780
You know that, um, a Norfolk Southern train left the tracks while traveling from Madison,
00:23:09.240
Illinois to Conway, Pennsylvania, uh, residents were ordered to evacuate and evacuation is
00:23:19.680
You get in your car, truck or camper and drive, but where do you go?
00:23:26.680
You know, if you don't have gas already, then you have to go wait for gas first.
00:23:30.380
So then you're at the pump, you're pumping gas and you're huffing gas because the, the,
00:23:40.180
And then there's all kinds of rumors that, you know, that how it got burned off.
00:23:43.780
Some people say that the government showed up and did it.
00:23:45.760
Some people say there were just, uh, you know, a couple of damn Browns fans or, or, uh, Steelers
00:23:51.740
fans firing, um, fireworks into it and shit blew it all up.
00:23:57.600
I mean, you can't keep a gas in the air, you know, in some of these areas without somebody
00:24:06.880
lighting it, you know, even if you're at a party and you fart, somebody will run over
00:24:12.060
If you're in Cleveland, I mean, who, you know, who are we kidding?
00:24:19.440
You know, so I'm not shocked that it got lit up.
00:24:30.620
I'll tell you this, the whole thing was better than any M night Shyamalan movie I've seen in
00:24:37.800
Has anybody been given more opportunities than that guy?
00:24:42.020
Um, then you have all these people with their home values.
00:24:45.140
Now they're scared that they have no equity in their homes, but just because of the fear
00:24:49.380
of this and you don't know, you know, we live in a space now where we expect things to be
00:24:58.400
We're so you, you see something on the internet, you see, okay, this should be solved right now.
00:25:02.680
And in some ways it should, there should be like task force should be sent to help.
00:25:08.940
You know, there should be plans in place for things.
00:25:12.220
Um, but the speed of life is not the same as the speed of the internet, the speed of social
00:25:19.080
You know, it's easy for somebody to be like, help these people.
00:25:26.520
It was like, where are the, uh, like transportation head of transportation.
00:25:36.360
Like just trying to, I guess I'm just rattling the cage, but yeah, you wonder like how, how
00:25:44.500
do these people start to feel okay when they go to like a town hall meeting and they're
00:25:58.540
You know, the rail system has been, we've done a horrible job in America of taking care
00:26:09.260
Eeps, dude, I would rather give my shit, dude, more people, the rail system.
00:26:14.180
First of all, more people are going on Hogwarts train than on any Amtrak.
00:26:32.560
These people got derailed and a lady, it says right here, throwing rock and water.
00:26:40.660
And she's saying, look at all the chemicals in the water.
00:26:57.180
But I think a lot of this falls back on, do you feel like your country cares anymore?
00:27:02.260
Do you feel like, I think we're living, we're getting into a space where people do not feel
00:27:11.500
They don't feel like there's this, they're always used to feel like this texture behind
00:27:17.140
us that our country was unified and supporting us and looking out for the regular man and
00:27:24.540
woman and the child who was getting a pail of clean water in East Palestine, as opposed
00:27:32.180
to the big business, you know, big chloride or whoever spilled all this shit.
00:28:00.820
I mean, you don't know also, they could have, we don't know, you don't know a video.
00:28:04.880
Somebody, this thing could be right outside of a Pep Boys and they've been spilling shit
00:28:11.720
But yeah, there'll be shrimp coming out of here probably a decade from now wearing a
00:28:21.760
Newborn babies come out with fucking, you know, in with neck braces on their knees.
00:28:32.060
A lot of, you know, they're going to have a lot of young women that look like Rob Gronkowski
00:28:48.500
As some of you guys know, Kai the Hitchhiker, who is a notorious figure in entertainment,
00:29:06.760
He is a tumbleweed with a with a with a bit of violence that surrounds him.
00:29:16.500
He filed a lawsuit against me for a tick tock clip that was put up or Instagram clip that
00:29:29.760
And I wanted to talk with my buddy, Dan Morgan, over at the Morgan and Morgan attorney firm at
00:29:38.800
the Morgan and Morgan law firm and see what the deal was.
00:29:59.520
Um, I want to talk about the Kai the Hitchhiker thing.
00:30:17.980
I'm yeah, I'm scared about I don't know what to do.
00:30:27.920
I believe in New Jersey, it seemed that he kind of learned the law a little bit and drafted
00:30:34.400
So it is an actual complaint that did get served in federal court.
00:30:37.520
Um, you know, as far as the merits to it, I don't think there's much there.
00:30:41.000
I think a motion to dismissal kind of cleaning up for you.
00:30:45.920
Um, so what do I, uh, how, what is he asking for?
00:30:51.420
So he's making some, some pretty egregious claims in there.
00:30:54.100
I mean, he goes into a lot of TMI really about these other cases and there's other, these
00:31:00.720
But then he pretty much does some type of algebraic equation that, that gets to a demand
00:31:10.800
I think it's around 20, 29,750,000, something around those damages from YouTube and Instagram
00:31:24.720
I mean, it sounds like he's claiming you've already made this money.
00:31:27.420
So the question is, what have you done with all that money?
00:31:35.580
He's saying you made all this money off using this, uh, this deep fake of him.
00:31:40.020
You've, you've, you've stolen his, uh, his valor, so to speak.
00:31:49.700
He has this whole outlandish theory that you have a, a fake identity daughter account where
00:31:56.260
you made this, but then repurpose it to then, to then, uh, post on your YouTube and without
00:32:02.260
having to be the point person that he could go after.
00:32:10.020
He, he's, he's, he's doctored up from, uh, from this federal penitentiary.
00:32:16.060
So is this, so, so what, when do I, how long do you, when do I need to, when do I need to
00:32:23.400
So it looks like he got, like, he served about eight days ago or so.
00:32:28.040
Like, uh, you got 21 days per, per federal civil procedure.
00:32:31.980
So, you know, just, just an answer pretty much saying, you know, this is a bogus
00:32:36.080
lawsuit, a motion to, to dismiss and a judge should just, just throw it out for you.
00:32:41.600
But you do have to kind of make sure you get those timelines done or else there could be
00:32:45.000
a default judgment where old Kyle could get a check from Theo for 30 million.
00:32:50.220
Well, he's never, I don't know where he would cash it.
00:32:59.920
So what do you, do you, does, uh, does y'all's law firm help with that?
00:33:06.340
That's something that I can help you get, get to the right person to do.
00:33:09.140
You know, we're, we're, we're more of a plaintiff's type firm.
00:33:11.280
We don't want to do this defense work, but I can definitely get you in the right hands
00:33:13.700
out there with a California, uh, federal attorney, get this thing cleaned up for you.
00:33:21.040
I mean, I, um, and is this, is this going to be like a thing that happens in the world?
00:33:26.840
Because this was a, uh, deep fake that I didn't have anything to do with.
00:33:30.620
I mean, obviously I repurposed it and put it out and I think it, I thought it was funny
00:33:36.580
So I don't know if there is some responsibility there.
00:33:41.920
And when you kind of sent this over to me, I kind of started doing some research and
00:33:44.820
it's obviously that's popping up more and more now with technology getting as it is.
00:33:49.440
So you can just really put in any video with any picture and it turns it out, but, you
00:33:53.780
know, pretty much it falls under some copyright exceptions where, where it's parody.
00:34:02.240
You know, there's some protections out there, especially like political figures and revenge
00:34:06.600
porn stuff like that, where there's been laws that have been put, put into place for
00:34:10.180
But as far as, you know, this type of stuff is really, it's just parody where, where, where
00:34:14.660
there's no real recourse or damages that can be assessed for it.
00:34:19.480
It's interesting because it's, it, that's going to, I mean, with, with CGI and that
00:34:23.220
sort of this kind of thing, this is going to be probably a growing field.
00:34:29.220
Cause I mean, they got, you know, when, when the political race is around, they'll just
00:34:32.340
take the, whatever party they don't like and just have them saying some outlandish,
00:34:36.860
you know, outlandish comments, like, you know, crazy stances and they put it out there
00:34:41.880
on YouTube and it gets retweeted and that's the, you know, it becomes fact.
00:34:46.140
But how, I mean, how do we, what does the future hold?
00:34:51.300
I mean, even now it's like, I mean, the videos are getting better and better that now they
00:34:56.000
even have it where you can type in, you know, manifestos or lyrics and it will spit it out
00:35:03.680
So there doesn't even have to be a recording and saying it's just, you know, copying of
00:35:10.900
We just been talking about some of that recently, that chat GPT, I think it's called.
00:35:14.320
And when that merges with like holograms or deep fakes, it's going to get, I mean, it's
00:35:20.580
You know, I, I saw a thing a while back where they had so much footage and, um, audio of
00:35:26.500
Joe Rogan that they could make him have, they could have audio of him now saying absolutely
00:35:34.280
And that's how they have all these politicians not to make the speeches, you know, three
00:35:39.460
They're just downloading it all and say, Hey, let's make them say, you know, listen to like
00:35:45.480
It would take, I mean, you know, years to chop up something to have it even not even some
00:35:48.660
analogy is pipe it into a, into a chat bot and spits it out in 30 seconds.
00:35:54.440
I mean, all we cared about was make them say, uh, nah, nah, nah, nah.
00:35:59.940
Um, is this, is this going to be a field that you guys will cover a lot, uh, at Shell's
00:36:06.240
law firm or is this, I mean, if there was some, there was damages against an actual plaintiff
00:36:12.100
where if there was some real harm that was done and, you know, and something came from
00:36:18.380
Um, but as far as just these celebrities having deep fakes made and stuff like that, you know,
00:36:22.420
it's probably something we're going to stay away and just see how the, the, the law evolves
00:36:31.380
And yeah, the guy came up and served the papers and I thought it was like a dude, like a,
00:36:35.260
I don't want to say like a homeless dude, not home.
00:36:42.040
I thought it was like kind of a game, like kind of a dude who was being kind of homoerotic
00:36:47.700
Cause he kind of just, I mean, he just like kind of moseyed up.
00:36:53.280
I thought he'd written me a poem or something and then, uh, and then he hit me with that
00:36:58.260
and he kind of like, he didn't give like any, yeah, yeah.
00:37:01.840
It kind of like, it was just, I don't know, bro, but I'm trying to meet a wife one day.
00:37:10.840
I'd seen it happen a lot, but I'd never gotten myself.
00:37:15.260
And it was almost like a Valentine in a weird way.
00:37:35.940
If you have a question about a legal issue, you have a, um, something that you think they
00:37:41.560
might be able to help with, uh, the least I can do for that, uh, for the help there is,
00:37:51.440
It's scary when something comes along or when, uh, there's something in the legal realm and
00:38:21.060
I'm out here in Indiana, you know, home of the mess.
00:38:42.320
Man, he's been cheating on his girlfriend and I don't really like any of that.
00:38:49.040
And I told him, man, I need, I'm going to need to tell your girlfriend if you're cheating
00:38:57.380
Man, that week went by and I told him, I was like, man, I need to tell your girl.
00:39:04.620
So, you know, like, what do I do in that situation?
00:39:08.840
Like, I don't want to tell his girlfriend because he's my homie.
00:39:11.640
But at the same time, I hate cheaters because my dad cheated on my mom back in the day.
00:39:29.460
I think you got to, you can definitely say to your buddy, hey, not cool to cheat on this gal.
00:39:39.200
That's a little bit like, I'm going to take responsibility.
00:39:48.340
Um, so, I mean, it's your world, but it's, I don't know.
00:39:53.300
That, to me, feels like you're trying to control too much of things.
00:40:00.220
Now, maybe if it goes on for a long, you know, it's so tough to know.
00:40:04.480
But I feel like that's a little bit more of a thing you take up with your boy.
00:40:16.340
Um, but then also, I mean, who knows, you know, it's tough.
00:40:23.800
You may have a feeling for that girl, but I don't know if that's the way to go about it.
00:40:31.440
And then if you put a week on him and you didn't do nothing, then you're not even really about it anyway.
00:40:35.480
So if you're going to be about it, be about it, you know?
00:40:43.760
So I would say, man, I can't, you know, if you're going to be, uh, that's not the vibe I like to put out there.
00:40:48.620
It's not something I want to be associated with.
00:40:54.380
If you just tell him every week, hey, man, don't be cheating or I'm out of here.
00:40:58.380
And then you stick around, you know, and then you're going to tell her, then you ain't even, you ain't even do nothing.
00:41:21.800
It's fucking, it is no, it's no way to treat somebody.
00:41:50.640
Um, I have, I've worked in a, uh, learning center.
00:42:02.160
These past few weeks, I've been having, there's just been, I work with special ed kids and, uh, you know, it's.
00:42:27.800
And, uh, recently he's been trying to, uh, sexually assault me.
00:42:45.380
I mean, I feel like if somebody, I don't know how to say this.
00:42:50.180
First of all, a lot of people named James have, you know, they're tismed out.
00:43:01.880
And that's, you could draw a damn graph of that.
00:43:24.520
And, uh, recently he's been trying to, uh, sexually assault me.
00:43:35.440
Well, look, if people have autism, they're going to want to fuck, they want to get out that damn, you know.
00:43:40.780
They want to fucking burp that little nut wand, baby.
00:43:48.520
They, they, I mean, sometimes you just, I feel, you ever just been so just, you just want to spray on something.
00:43:59.840
So I can't even, if I had autism, I'd, I'd, you know, if I had fully documented autism, I would be, I'd spray on half the things in town, probably.
00:44:12.520
And, you know, I don't really care, but it's more frightening for the other students.
00:44:17.940
And the thing is, you know, I know they can't help it and stuff, but every time he does it, he just has this look in his eyes.
00:44:31.740
Well, they say if, if, uh, they say if the devil's got your nuts, he's got your eyes.
00:44:40.780
Because the eyes are just the nuts of the face.
00:44:51.980
The feeling you have in your nuts is always the feeling that you have in your eyes.
00:44:55.800
Go punch somebody in the nuts and look in their eyes.
00:45:14.700
Look, first of all, I commend you for being out there and being on the front lines of, um, of special ed.
00:45:28.620
Almost like he knows what he's doing and if he knows that it's wrong.
00:45:32.480
And he'll be, you know, he'll be running around and he'll be, stop that, James.
00:45:45.500
And we're a little, we're a little afraid for our safety.
00:45:54.220
Let's, you know, I mean, you know, you don't have to be afraid for your safety, dog.
00:46:00.180
You got to, you know, you got a mentally unwell fellow just, you know, running around, trying, you know.
00:46:17.500
And if somebody's autism, they might be off by a month or two in their genetics, easily.
00:46:25.760
That's fucking, that's that DNA leap year, homie, if you got autism.
00:46:41.720
I'd get him a little bust post over in the corner.
00:46:44.100
Get a little pair of, uh, um, get you a half of a mannequin and put some damn, uh, uh, Daisy Dukes on it.
00:46:58.360
And put that thing, you know, put a candle or two in a closet and let him get in there and pump on it.
00:47:07.640
But if you're just yelling, stop it, James, and he's out there just, you know, he's tugging on that little spunk whisker, that's, stop it, James, isn't going to help.
00:47:19.780
You know, you're not a damn crossing guard, brother.
00:47:21.980
You know, they don't like to put all the different, you know, uses or whatever on the thing, but if I got a, you know, somebody in my area and they're over there splurging that little, uh, that little splash hammer right in front of me, I'll just damn hit them with that Narcan, baby.
00:47:54.620
I'm sorry that you're having to deal with some of this.
00:47:56.880
And I'm, I'm also afraid of some students because we found it, we found a collection of, uh, almost like a booger collection, but it was, it was other people's pictures that he took from under a stairwell.
00:48:23.040
You can't, you know, it sounds like he's an artist.
00:48:28.520
Um, you know, I know they can't help it, but every time I, every time I look him in the eyes, he's just, he's just panting with that lustful, um, he'll smirk when he does it too.
00:48:47.100
And so I think at that point, you got to do prayer.
00:48:49.120
You got to, you got to consider Narcan, but I would do prayer first.
00:48:54.540
And, um, and yeah, and look, I'll just commend you, man, for being there and being there on the front lines of autism.
00:49:06.440
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00:51:01.580
A couple of them, the crowds were a little rowdy, but, uh, the ones that weren't, my God, they were awesome.
00:51:12.940
It was so just cool to go through Louisiana and we're over there, you know?
00:51:19.220
Jeez, Shreveport, that play, this, it went out of business.
00:51:23.000
I mean, they had, it was just, they had a building there.
00:51:36.140
So, all right, let's hear this call that came in right here.
00:51:43.280
I want to hear your opinion about something that happened to me at work recently.
00:51:47.700
Uh, to give you a little background on me, I grew up with a gay mom and she had a meth addiction.
00:51:57.080
My niece is a bisexual, transgender woman in the polyamorous relationships.
00:52:18.120
I want people to be true to themselves, you know?
00:52:24.460
Until your boss, who's the HR manager, texts you unwanted propositions at a chili cook-off at work.
00:52:34.120
Yeah, a lot of times, food can be a gateway drug to, uh, homosexuality.
00:52:48.840
Anyway, you and me are about the same age and, uh, things are for sure different than when we grew up.
00:52:57.720
And with the current climate, how do you think I should approach this situation?
00:53:02.140
Well, just because somebody's hitting on you, you know, I think if you are gay or considering gay,
00:53:13.020
and let me repeat that, if you are gay or considering gay, then approach this man.
00:53:29.940
I mean, you're probably, most of your family's gay.
00:53:34.300
It sounds like, you know, anybody that even stops by y'all's house ends up gay.
00:53:45.680
You might just be gay and be just gay and around bothering women.
00:53:56.320
I'm not saying that, but it could be happening.
00:53:58.680
Um, but I don't think you need to feel a pressure because of the way the climate is to return, uh, any homoerotic, homoeroticism.
00:54:13.580
Um, you know, you, you don't have to do anything like that just because of the climate.
00:54:19.780
You don't want, you know, just because there's a lot of gay stuff happening, you have to, you know, do that.
00:54:27.120
Um, but also innately, some of these chili cook-off circles, it's a hotbed for gay activity.
00:54:53.480
He's out here with the damn devil's vegetables.
00:55:02.700
It's the Nicholas Sparks of fucking vegetables.
00:55:07.720
I mean, when do we, when do we shut that shit down?
00:55:10.080
Um, just, but yeah, that whole, the whole thing with the chili cook-off, it's a hotbed for gay men to sneak in.
00:55:21.280
And, you know, hit you with that little shishito pepper.
00:55:27.600
And just hit you with that little, uh, you know, just try to get you to sip off that little, uh, that little batter fountain.
00:55:42.840
So, uh, yeah, I think just take care of yourself either way.
00:55:49.240
But also, if you, you know, it may, you might be reading yourself wrong.
00:56:02.920
Don't even go all this, you know, put, get yourself a number.
00:56:35.560
Man, and, um, you know, I don't know anybody from my, you know, on my biological side.
00:56:57.740
But, um, I, uh, I decided to message her yesterday, man.
00:57:10.120
And, uh, she, she emailed me back this morning.
00:57:15.800
You know, like, everything she had to say was real positive.
00:57:23.340
You know, that's something I've dreamed about my entire life.
00:57:25.780
Like, every day since I can remember I dreamed of being able to talk to my mother, man.
00:57:31.560
And, uh, she's going to give me a call this, uh, this afternoon.
00:57:36.700
We're going to talk on the phone for the first time.
00:57:41.120
It's been 32 years since the last time I saw her, you know.
00:57:44.600
So, I don't know exactly, you know, I text my brother, my adopted brother, and let him know.
00:57:51.300
And then the next thing I did was I hopped on the phone and gave you a call, man.
00:57:57.840
But, you know, obviously we don't know each other.
00:57:59.640
But I just, I wanted to share that with you, man.
00:58:18.000
You know, it's nice that there's something powerful going, there's something powerful going on in your life.
00:58:22.260
And you thought, and you, your nature, whoever you are, you thought, hey, man, I'm feeling something.
00:58:53.840
My Tism James is a freaking, you got me in them, damn.
00:59:12.060
You, because you sound like you're in a good place, man.
00:59:18.960
But you sound like you're in a good place and, um, obviously your mother probably isn't in the best place, uh, with jail.
00:59:28.960
But, but, it sounds like you are going to be able to be there.
00:59:39.180
You may have a chance to be for your mother what she wasn't for you.
00:59:41.900
Which, and, and, and that you may be strong enough to do that.
01:00:07.760
Yeah, I can't imagine, you know, waiting your whole life to talk to your mother.
01:00:15.120
You know, all those times when you don't even realize as a child, as an offspring, as a creation of something, that you need that thing to be there.
01:00:24.780
Um, and not even sometimes their voice, but even just in their presence, to know that something is there.
01:00:36.380
But like a wall that, like, loves you so matter, so, so much, no matter what.
01:00:49.740
But it sounds like you, you, however your life has worked out, that you,
01:00:54.780
sound healthy enough where you can, you might be able to be whatever she never had.
01:01:01.780
In addition to you guys working out your mother-son relationship.
01:01:06.780
Um, and that's really, that's, that's what I think is amazing about life.
01:01:12.200
It's like, what am I supposed to, how can I be useful in this situation?
01:01:21.200
And me, I don't know if I could do that because I would probably look too much at my own plight.
01:01:25.520
I'd be looking too much at, oh man, my mud, this, and I don't know if I'd be able to turn that corner.
01:01:34.760
And say, honestly, hey, what is, why now are we back together?
01:01:40.380
And what, how do I look past my own angst or my own, you know, or you may not even have any more of that shit,
01:02:05.580
You know, I've had trouble evolving in that way and evolving from being just a son to being an adult son.
01:02:14.600
Um, it's funny, it's just kind of a space that I'm in in my life.
01:02:27.600
But man, I, and I didn't mean to talk about myself so much.
01:02:30.040
It just, it's powerful that you chose to share that with us, man.
01:02:36.020
First of all, to have an urban guy call, urban person that even fucking messes with us, bro.
01:02:48.120
But even more than that, just that, that you're like, hey, I, I'm going to, I'm going to be,
01:02:56.960
that you let all of us, you let us enjoy that moment with you.
01:03:04.260
You know how much that, it's going to give us something.
01:03:08.840
It's going to give us a little bit more faith that's going to get us through the next day, the next hour.
01:03:13.940
Some people just might be a minute, but it's going to give us something.
01:03:17.600
It gives me a, we want to believe that there's things out there that are working for good.
01:03:26.840
If you get a chance, man, hit the hotline again.
01:03:32.400
I would just love to know how it went, you know.
01:03:37.100
But if you are in that space where you say, hey, man, this is something powerful and I'm going to call him a share.
01:03:41.400
This is, I'm going to let this be a part of this ambiance of this show.
01:03:48.060
And, yeah, we'll connect and let me see if there's something nice we could do to help out or help her.
01:03:55.660
But somehow, even though it was giving you up or what, I don't know any of it, but she helped make a good son.
01:04:34.700
You know, this stuff, I guess, makes me want to be alive.
01:04:45.000
You know, it's those moments, man, where you fucking something, you feel something.
01:05:03.960
I mean, what, you know, what else are we going to say?
01:05:05.840
Um, yeah, that's, you know, I feel like it's just a good place to finish a show today.
01:05:17.120
I've been feeling all over the place, but that's okay.
01:05:25.980
We got put, we're going to try to get to everywhere.
01:05:29.080
You know, we're putting the shows out as we can.
01:05:31.800
Um, next week we'll have some new shows going up in, uh, I think in St. George, Utah or Springdale, Utah.
01:05:42.040
If you have a plan to be down there, um, that'll be around, uh, the second week of July, second weekend.
01:05:48.340
Um, let's go out the way that we didn't even come in.
01:06:07.960
I feel like there's something else I'm supposed to be telling you guys, but to all the people out there struggling with the, uh, the stuff in the Midwest and the fear and stuff like that, it's scary.
01:06:16.460
You know, it's scary to think that, um, that this template of the world, we, we, sometimes we feel, especially in America, like our environment, that the world, the government, all this is, is going to take care of us.
01:06:29.820
And when that doesn't happen, it's very scary because we realize we're just this being in this, in this, in this template of society that we've created.
01:06:42.420
And that, if some of that structure fails us or doesn't do us right, we're still sitting there responsible for ourselves.
01:06:53.220
So, my heart goes out to the people that are in fear of that.
01:07:26.440
Let's go out with some, uh, North Mississippi All-Stars.
01:07:39.040
They're always touring if you get to check them out.
01:07:50.620
You got ten dollars, don't share, then we gon' ride.
01:08:09.100
Now we're cookin' with gas on the front burner.
01:09:37.040
Ladies and gentlemen, I'm Jonathan Kite, and welcome to Kite Club.
01:09:50.180
A podcast where I'll be sharing thoughts on things like current events, stand-up stories,
01:10:03.280
And as always, I'll be joined by the voices in my head.
01:10:20.880
Anyone who doesn't listen to Kite Club is a dodgy bloody wanker.
01:10:27.020
I'll take a quarter pounder with cheese and a McFlurry.
01:10:29.960
Sorry, sir, but our ice cream machine is broken.
01:10:36.780
Anyway, first rule of Kite Club is, tell everyone about Kite Club.
01:10:40.900
Second rule of Kite Club is, tell everyone about Kite Club.
01:10:45.140
Third rule, like and subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts.
01:10:50.920
And yes, don't worry, my Brad Pitt impression will get better.