This Past Weekend with Theo Von - E472 Stavros Halkias

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00:02:02.220 resources. I want to let you know that I have some new tour dates to announce Charlottesville

00:02:09.560 VA on February 1, Raleigh, North Carolina, February 2, Columbia, South Carolina, February

00:02:18.740 3, and Knoxville, Tennessee, go big orange, on February 4 at the Knoxville Coliseum. As well,

00:02:28.120 state college PA on February 7th, Syracuse, New York, February 8th, and Amherst, Massachusetts

00:02:37.300 on February 9th. Get your tickets early starting Wednesday, November 29th at 10 a.m. local time

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00:02:52.240 available at Theovan.com slash T-O-U-R. Don't buy through secondary sites if the prices are

00:03:01.580 jacked up. Just wait. We'll come on back through town. But looking forward to bringing the tour

00:03:06.940 near you. Thank you for the support.

00:03:10.620 Today's guest has a new comedy special coming out on Netflix on December 5th. He's the pride

00:03:17.040 of Baltimore and one of the most entertaining men, young men in the universe. Today's guest

00:03:25.540 guest is Mr. Stavros. Hell, yes.

00:03:28.160 Shine that light on me

00:03:32.260 I'll sit and tell you my stories

00:03:38.040 Shine on me

00:03:42.960 And I will find a song

00:03:47.180 I'll be singing

00:03:48.380 I knew an Albanian girl

00:03:57.640 Yeah, she got her, I remember she got her belly button braided

00:04:00.220 I'm sorry

00:04:03.640 I love it

00:04:04.300 We're good

00:04:05.340 She was the only girl that had cornrows outside of her belly button

00:04:08.380 Oh yeah

00:04:08.880 A fierce people

00:04:10.300 Not saying anything about your wife, my friend

00:04:13.180 Yeah

00:04:13.400 But my producer, Albanian also

00:04:16.120 Really?

00:04:16.540 Yeah, eldest, my boy. Big, dumb, block-headed Albanian piece of shit

00:04:21.240 And so what is, because we just referenced, guys, Stavros Halkius is here today

00:04:26.060 What's up, bros?

00:04:27.080 We're going to talk about his new special that's coming out on Netflix. When is it?

00:04:30.880 December 5th, Fat Rascal

00:04:32.360 Wow

00:04:32.980 Next week, bro

00:04:35.160 Yeah, that's right, dude. Thank you, bro. Thank you

00:04:37.140 Wow, this is your first one on there?

00:04:39.100 First one on there, I had the, I did my own on YouTube

00:04:41.620 And then I've just been putting out a bunch of shit on YouTube and, you know, social media and shit

00:04:47.000 So, yeah, we put it out there

00:04:49.080 There's something that, well, two things

00:04:51.280 First of all, we talked about the producer today, Alex Lagos is in, and he married an Albanian

00:04:55.640 Yes, that's right, he did

00:04:57.600 Which, you know, sleep with one eye open

00:04:59.820 That's what I would say

00:05:01.340 Don't leave any livestock unattended

00:05:04.700 She might abscond with your goats

00:05:07.000 Why is that? Do they just have, like, a hankering for animals?

00:05:15.760 Dude, so, in Greece, Albanians are, like, it borders Greece, right?

00:05:21.520 Okay

00:05:21.840 So, my best friend, growing up, Albanian

00:05:24.460 And, but, like, the relationship of, like, Albania and Greece is, like, what you might say, like, Mexico is to America

00:05:33.520 Where it's, like, there's a lot of illegal immigrants that, like, will take any job just to be in the country

00:05:37.980 That shows you how shitty Albania is

00:05:39.940 Like, Greece's economy is what they want to get in on

00:05:43.140 You know what I mean?

00:05:43.820 Greece has been bankrupt a few years ago

00:05:45.280 Yeah, yeah, yeah

00:05:45.980 But, like, literally

00:05:47.380 And my family's from Athens

00:05:49.100 So it's, like, you know

00:05:50.420 You know, we're fucking high class, dude

00:05:52.700 You know what I mean?

00:05:53.380 We're, like, we got the Parthenon right there

00:05:55.640 But I went to visit

00:05:56.900 You know?

00:05:59.200 I went to visit

00:05:59.960 We got it right there

00:06:00.840 It's right, you can see it, bro

00:06:02.340 I went to visit my, uh, my, my, my friend from Baltimore

00:06:07.160 Our families were in Greece at the same time

00:06:09.140 Yeah

00:06:09.400 And we drove to his, like, hillbilly-ass, hick-like village

00:06:13.300 And

00:06:14.200 In Albania?

00:06:15.000 In, right, like, northern Greece, closer to Albania

00:06:17.860 Okay

00:06:18.140 These motherfuckers, like, still had an outhouse

00:06:21.100 They had indoor plumbing, but they just had it for the love of the game

00:06:24.260 Just to also shit outside

00:06:24.980 Oh, there's something about shitting outdoors

00:06:26.140 Yeah, yeah, yeah

00:06:27.240 You know what I'm saying?

00:06:27.860 It connects you to Mother Gaia

00:06:29.040 Oh, yeah, it's like, take that, government

00:06:31.360 Yeah

00:06:31.740 You know?

00:06:33.260 I don't need the fucking Department of Sanitation telling me where to shit

00:06:36.160 That's one vote for Trump right there, dude

00:06:38.460 Every time you shit in the yard, homie

00:06:40.140 Oh, dude, absolutely

00:06:40.740 That's how they're taking the census

00:06:42.980 They're counting how many turds are underneath, under people's yards

00:06:46.960 But we went to his fucking village

00:06:50.100 And they straight up had

00:06:51.800 This was the year

00:06:53.120 This must have been 2002

00:06:56.620 They had an Albanian indentured servant

00:06:59.160 I'm not even kidding

00:07:00.000 Oh, wow

00:07:00.320 They had this motherfucker that, like, wasn't allowed upstairs

00:07:03.420 He had his own little fucking basement apartment

00:07:06.720 And they were like, yeah, we couldn't

00:07:08.440 The last Albanian took our shoes

00:07:10.680 So we couldn't trust him in the fucking main house anymore

00:07:14.580 And I was like, what the fuck is going on?

00:07:17.440 I'm coming from Baltimore

00:07:18.600 And I'm like, they have light Albanian slavery in these fucking, in these villages, dude

00:07:24.060 This was 2000, post 9-11

00:07:26.400 It was crazy

00:07:27.440 And you can vote right now on slavery, right now on the YouTube

00:07:31.380 No, look, man, I think, yeah, oh, if I, the first time you see shoes, that's fucking

00:07:37.140 Yeah, laces

00:07:39.120 You're like, damn, look at these body tires

00:07:41.060 This will help

00:07:43.240 So, yeah, I guess Albanians, and do they have, is there a mental issue with them?

00:07:49.140 I think so

00:07:49.780 Really?

00:07:50.160 No, I think, you know, my, I think that's what they would, this guy, this particular guy, I don't remember his name, 100% had a bit of a mental issue

00:08:00.540 Oh, yeah

00:08:01.020 Big Smiler, let's say

00:08:02.620 Oh, yeah, yeah

00:08:03.800 My boy had, Big Smiler, not the best teeth that did not slow him down for one second

00:08:09.260 You know what I'm saying?

00:08:10.640 Yeah

00:08:10.840 But

00:08:11.700 Oh, dude, no windows, but still cutting the lights on

00:08:16.100 Yeah, absolutely

00:08:17.000 That's my kind of joy

00:08:18.560 Doesn't skip, doesn't skip a beat

00:08:19.820 Like, they're just hurling, you know, insults at him

00:08:23.620 And he's just taking it with a grin and getting some fresh well water for, for, for supper

00:08:28.440 You know what I mean?

00:08:30.180 Doesn't bother him at all

00:08:31.220 Heavy petter, dude

00:08:32.180 Oh, yeah

00:08:32.860 Kind of dude that'll just stir a thing of hot soup with his hand

00:08:35.520 Absolutely

00:08:38.520 Those, those nerves have been dead for years

00:08:42.200 Those nerves have been dead after multiple, like, raccoon bites

00:08:45.600 Those, that thumb is dead, dude

00:08:49.700 Let's just say hip hop harabies, dog

00:08:52.800 Okay

00:08:53.460 Yeah

00:08:54.180 They should study him, dude

00:08:55.760 Yeah

00:08:56.040 How he survived

00:08:58.000 They should study him, it would take about 40 minutes

00:08:59.940 Yeah

00:09:00.260 Absolutely, yeah

00:09:02.100 If you go, well, it would be one, there's one extra something

00:09:05.920 That would take a little longer

00:09:08.540 But dude, that extra chromosome, there's also, it must have creatine in it

00:09:13.660 Because a lot of people that are, you know, men, you know, a lot of people call them mentals

00:09:19.340 Or, you know, people that are missing in action, but aren't missing, you know

00:09:24.700 Sure, sure, sure, sure, sure, sure

00:09:26.040 Those people are, they're

00:09:27.380 Absolutely

00:09:28.140 The, the torque that's in them

00:09:30.280 Well, yeah, they're literally more, they're one extra amount dude

00:09:35.400 So they are stronger, they're hyper masculine, that's that extra chromosome

00:09:38.960 Is that true?

00:09:39.700 Absolutely, yeah

00:09:40.440 So the extra chromosome

00:09:41.660 Or at least that's one type, one style

00:09:43.420 Okay

00:09:43.800 I don't know if it's, we're talking downs right now, I believe

00:09:46.780 I had a friend whose, whose son had the extra, and I think the extra, X is girls, Y is dudes, I believe

00:09:54.520 So if you're X, Y, Y, that means you're like a turbo bro

00:09:58.400 Yeah

00:09:58.820 So those motherfuckers, hairy, you know, eyebrows, wild, jacked, jacking off fast, you know, at a young age

00:10:06.960 Oh, they can jack off and then catch it on their eyebrows

00:10:09.520 You know?

00:10:11.420 Absolutely

00:10:11.700 Like, we're talking like, yeah

00:10:13.700 It's like hanging up the Christmas lights

00:10:15.320 Yeah

00:10:15.660 Like, oh, dang, look what Randy

00:10:17.840 An icicle

00:10:18.740 Yeah, yeah, yeah

00:10:21.100 Bells of

00:10:21.860 Dude, we had, yeah, we had, uh, uh, uncle, he used to masturbate in his sleep, right?

00:10:27.980 He had, um, I think he had an iron deficiency or something

00:10:30.420 And, um, so that whenever he stayed over, my mom would make him wear these jingle bells on his wrists

00:10:35.500 Ironically, the more they jingle, a little iron probably peeled off

00:10:40.500 Went into his bloodstream

00:10:41.960 His hand full of iron, puts it on his open cock, and he gets into his bloodstream

00:10:47.520 It's a win-win

00:10:48.680 Yeah, I think she just wanted to keep things, you know, if he started cleaning himself out

00:10:52.920 Sure, sure, sure, sure

00:10:54.120 She wanted to keep things cultured at the house

00:10:55.640 Well, of course, it's a good safety mechanism, too, but I'm just saying the silver lining

00:10:59.000 He might be up, you know, he might have more energy throughout the day

00:11:02.300 Because his iron levels are regulated

00:11:04.080 Well, I think he was missing some silver lining

00:11:05.880 Yeah, absolutely

00:11:06.480 Which is what was his problem in the beginning

00:11:08.340 But, yeah, he was copper heavy, dude

00:11:11.200 You can see some of those dudes

00:11:12.520 We had a guy in our neighborhood, he had, he was, fucking had extra copper in his blood or whatever

00:11:17.540 And he, he would have to, he had real heavy eyelids

00:11:21.180 Yep

00:11:21.640 So when they blinked down, his whole head would kind of go down like that

00:11:24.720 Like he just

00:11:25.280 That's tough

00:11:25.960 You know, and then he had a C1 cervical

00:11:29.360 He had, I think, some kind of spinal issue because of the

00:11:33.380 Sure, the constant heavy, heavy blinking

00:11:36.060 That copper, baby

00:11:37.020 That's gonna take a toll on the neck

00:11:38.680 Either it's gonna get stronger or you're fucked

00:11:41.200 Yeah

00:11:41.760 And he just didn't have it in him

00:11:42.840 He didn't have that thick neck

00:11:44.200 Yeah, he didn't have that torque in him

00:11:45.780 But, yeah, congratulations, Alex, too

00:11:47.820 Alex just, and he knocked up the lady

00:11:49.760 Wow

00:11:50.140 We got a half on deck

00:11:52.960 Alert, alert the, alert the fucking maternity ward

00:11:59.260 He got a fucking baby

00:12:02.740 Yeah, dude

00:12:02.940 With some slippery fingers

00:12:04.400 Yeah, just say, hey

00:12:06.240 He's gonna take the other baby's pacifiers out of the fucking

00:12:08.960 Hey, hide the fentanyl patches

00:12:11.480 You know what I'm saying?

00:12:13.060 We got an Albanian

00:12:14.600 Dude, that would be the best cartoon

00:12:19.660 If you ever did a cartoon

00:12:20.440 It would just be Albanian babies

00:12:22.160 Absolutely

00:12:22.640 The Albanian babies

00:12:24.040 Yeah, what do you say, guys, huh?

00:12:26.720 Well, in the Bronx, they're like

00:12:27.860 That's the mafia

00:12:29.000 It's like

00:12:29.400 Albanian babies

00:12:30.300 Albanians

00:12:30.500 Well, yeah, babies

00:12:31.180 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

00:12:32.300 I'm sure there's some tough Albanian babies

00:12:33.980 Yeah, Albanians

00:12:35.280 I love

00:12:35.880 There's something about that Russian

00:12:37.640 Like, you know

00:12:39.540 You'll get your child like a doll made out of stone

00:12:42.800 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

00:12:44.620 You'll get your child like a 30 pound doll

00:12:46.080 Yes, like

00:12:46.640 Yes, absolutely

00:12:47.620 A real life golem

00:12:49.060 You get them a real Jewish folklore

00:12:51.280 They're like

00:12:52.520 Look, we're gonna have to train against these

00:12:54.280 Because they tend to also be anti-Semitic

00:12:56.260 And they think golems are real

00:12:57.500 So they get their baby

00:12:58.780 Albanians?

00:12:58.920 Oh, yeah

00:12:59.340 Are they really anti-Semitic?

00:13:00.160 Well, I think a lot of the eastern world is

00:13:04.300 Really?

00:13:05.000 Well, because you've got to look at Europe

00:13:06.380 They figure ways to be racist

00:13:08.140 Like Yugoslavia broke up

00:13:10.240 Because Serbia thinks they're different

00:13:12.020 From fucking Croatia or whatever

00:13:14.180 Right

00:13:14.560 To like

00:13:15.060 You wouldn't know the fucking difference, right?

00:13:17.340 I barely would

00:13:18.500 So

00:13:19.100 Is it that they also respect their individuality more?

00:13:22.500 I'm not

00:13:22.760 Is that part of it, too?

00:13:24.540 That like

00:13:24.960 Because are they anti-everything?

00:13:26.820 Are they anti-like

00:13:27.600 Yes, they definitely think they're the man

00:13:29.840 Right

00:13:30.120 Every

00:13:30.680 Like, they think like

00:13:32.040 Each little fucking village

00:13:34.020 It goes back to like village shit

00:13:35.520 So it's like

00:13:36.060 But it's so funny to be like

00:13:38.120 You'll see people who will kill

00:13:40.100 You know, grandmothers over this conflict

00:13:42.800 And then you like zoom out

00:13:43.980 And it's like

00:13:44.460 Same fucking guy

00:13:45.920 You know what I mean?

00:13:46.820 Like, there's nothing different

00:13:47.800 It's like the tracksuits are slightly different colors

00:13:50.120 Oh, yeah, yeah

00:13:50.460 You know what I mean?

00:13:51.160 But they're the same type of

00:13:52.400 You know, same dude

00:13:53.500 But it is funny to have like

00:13:55.220 There's

00:13:55.480 Everyone has pride

00:13:56.620 In that part of the world

00:13:57.840 Everybody has pride

00:13:58.460 And then it's like

00:13:59.020 You can drive through the country

00:14:00.620 Like, you can drive through Greece in eight hours

00:14:02.320 It's not a big fucking country

00:14:04.320 But like

00:14:04.720 Really?

00:14:05.160 Yeah, dude

00:14:05.680 It's crazy when you go through a trip to Europe

00:14:07.500 And you're like

00:14:07.920 The French and the English

00:14:09.380 Just for thousands of years

00:14:11.820 Fought each other

00:14:12.500 And they're

00:14:13.400 Fucking, you know

00:14:14.120 A 20 minute helicopter ride apart

00:14:16.320 You know what I mean?

00:14:17.160 Like, it's like

00:14:18.420 Getting to Queens

00:14:19.440 From Queens to JFK

00:14:21.040 It's like

00:14:21.560 That's part of France

00:14:23.000 Is that close to England?

00:14:24.100 It's fucked up

00:14:24.780 Dude, that's why

00:14:26.060 Yeah, it is crazy to think

00:14:27.100 I wish

00:14:27.440 Sometimes I wish we still

00:14:28.640 I wish we had more stuff like that

00:14:29.980 I wish we would sometimes

00:14:30.600 Go to state governments

00:14:31.620 Do you think

00:14:32.100 That we could end up like that over here?

00:14:34.640 Get

00:14:34.860 Go more individual state

00:14:36.320 State-wise

00:14:37.160 Like, you know

00:14:37.680 The original sort of conception

00:14:39.300 Where everybody has their own little

00:14:40.800 Their own little vibe

00:14:41.880 Yeah, I think it would just be

00:14:43.180 I mean, it would make

00:14:44.080 Sports would be so much more exciting

00:14:46.180 Because you would be like

00:14:47.280 Yeah, if Georgia is playing California

00:14:49.920 They are playing California

00:14:51.260 Yeah, yeah, yeah

00:14:52.020 Well, that is what's cool about

00:14:53.660 Like, I love soccer, obviously

00:14:55.580 And that's the one thing

00:14:56.320 American sports misses

00:14:57.420 Is that, like

00:14:57.960 These are countries that

00:14:59.080 Literally fought each other

00:15:00.360 Yeah

00:15:00.740 Like, when you have

00:15:01.260 Fucking Algeria

00:15:01.980 Playing France

00:15:02.880 Those motherfuckers

00:15:03.960 Colonized Algeria

00:15:05.460 Like, Algeria wants to

00:15:06.980 Fuck them up

00:15:07.520 Yeah

00:15:07.720 So, it is cool

00:15:08.880 But yes, I think you're right

00:15:09.920 It would be a real

00:15:10.680 It would be a real

00:15:11.560 Melee situation

00:15:12.960 I think about that sometimes

00:15:14.440 Where it's like

00:15:14.880 Yeah, what does happen

00:15:15.660 If we just

00:15:16.200 You know

00:15:17.380 Everyone calls each other's bluff

00:15:19.400 And we're just like

00:15:20.760 Fuck you

00:15:21.340 Fuck you

00:15:22.020 We're separate countries

00:15:23.300 And then we see what happens

00:15:24.360 Yeah

00:15:24.740 I think it would be

00:15:25.860 Really exciting

00:15:26.540 And I think

00:15:27.400 It would definitely be more exciting

00:15:28.800 And also the states

00:15:29.540 Are getting really different

00:15:30.420 You're having states

00:15:31.060 That are, like, going bankrupt

00:15:32.120 You're having states

00:15:32.780 That are keeping it together

00:15:34.160 You're having states

00:15:35.000 That are, like

00:15:35.560 You know

00:15:37.560 That can't take care

00:15:39.320 Of their people

00:15:39.880 You're having states

00:15:40.520 That can take care

00:15:42.240 Of their people

00:15:42.540 Yeah, yeah

00:15:43.120 Totally

00:15:43.900 You have states

00:15:44.580 That have, like, legal gun carry

00:15:46.480 And states that, you know

00:15:47.280 It's like, I think you're getting

00:15:48.440 They seem to be getting

00:15:49.880 More separate than together

00:15:51.440 And I think we as a country

00:15:52.580 Seem to be getting like that

00:15:53.760 At times

00:15:54.420 Yeah, I mean

00:15:55.020 It's also fucking huge

00:15:56.480 You do think about it

00:15:57.700 You're like

00:15:58.140 This really shouldn't be one country

00:16:00.480 We really should break it up

00:16:02.480 You know what I mean?

00:16:02.640 Yeah, I would love to have

00:16:03.360 A couple countries

00:16:04.140 Yeah, give a couple countries

00:16:05.360 You know

00:16:05.960 Still no past

00:16:07.120 Still, like, like the EU

00:16:09.000 I can go vacation there

00:16:10.760 Yeah

00:16:11.000 You know what I mean?

00:16:11.640 I don't want to have to do

00:16:12.300 A bunch more paperwork

00:16:13.120 To get in

00:16:13.840 But you know

00:16:14.740 That's the other thing

00:16:15.200 You know the culture war shit

00:16:16.500 Would get so annoying

00:16:17.380 Where it would be like

00:16:18.420 If you're from New York

00:16:19.300 And you just want to come

00:16:20.160 Hang out in the south

00:16:20.920 You know they would fucking

00:16:22.200 They would fuck with you

00:16:23.160 A little more

00:16:23.460 And vice versa

00:16:24.140 Yeah

00:16:24.480 You know what I mean?

00:16:25.100 They would be like

00:16:25.560 Yankees

00:16:26.240 Yeah

00:16:26.520 Yeah, yeah, absolutely

00:16:27.720 You'd have to wear

00:16:28.900 Like a gay patch

00:16:29.780 Yeah

00:16:30.280 You know, if you went to

00:16:31.280 If you were gay, you mean?

00:16:32.320 Yeah, yeah, yeah

00:16:33.100 Oh, like a Star of David thing

00:16:34.640 Or whatever?

00:16:35.060 Yeah, yeah, yeah

00:16:35.480 There'd be certain place

00:16:37.240 Where it's like

00:16:37.720 If you're trans, we want to know

00:16:39.520 Yeah, to put a patch on

00:16:40.640 We're not

00:16:40.860 Put the trans patch on

00:16:41.800 If you're coming to Alabama

00:16:42.600 We just want to know

00:16:43.200 What we're dealing with

00:16:43.780 Yeah, yeah, coming to Florida

00:16:44.440 Yeah, look

00:16:45.340 It's hunting season just started

00:16:48.200 And some of these guys

00:16:50.100 Yeah

00:16:50.420 Can't see well

00:16:51.740 So we want

00:16:53.460 I-Viz

00:16:54.000 Yeah, we want

00:16:54.600 Put an I-Viz patch on

00:16:55.780 Yeah, yeah

00:16:56.180 Look, if you have

00:16:57.400 If you're sexually uncertain

00:16:59.140 We need you to put this

00:17:00.060 Orange vest on

00:17:01.040 Yeah, yeah, exactly

00:17:01.900 That's all we need

00:17:02.480 Yeah, yeah

00:17:02.960 Because we want to know

00:17:03.860 If we fuck you

00:17:04.580 If it's gay or not

00:17:05.500 That's it

00:17:06.520 Nothing to do with you

00:17:07.820 It's all about our accounting

00:17:09.060 We keep track of our own

00:17:11.860 You're on vacation

00:17:12.660 We're not going to fuck with you

00:17:14.020 But if you get sucked off

00:17:15.340 By our pal

00:17:16.060 He gets one gay strike

00:17:17.660 And then he can't

00:17:18.740 Yeah, three strikes

00:17:19.880 And you're out

00:17:20.420 Three strikes

00:17:22.700 They take a little bit

00:17:23.900 Of your penis away

00:17:24.700 Unless you get elected

00:17:25.800 To be a senator

00:17:26.760 You get two more strikes

00:17:27.940 Right, yeah

00:17:28.820 That would

00:17:29.740 Yeah

00:17:30.360 That would be

00:17:31.380 Yeah, that's interesting

00:17:32.400 It would make

00:17:32.820 Yeah, making

00:17:33.600 State government even gayer

00:17:35.620 Which is hard to do

00:17:36.480 Dude, I just put

00:17:37.620 I think I would

00:17:38.740 It would be neat

00:17:39.660 There would be more

00:17:40.840 Like excitement

00:17:42.480 About your state

00:17:43.700 I think

00:17:44.200 Or you would have to

00:17:45.120 Take more state responsibility

00:17:46.660 Yeah

00:17:47.260 I think

00:17:48.240 What would be

00:17:49.480 Some of the

00:17:50.040 Good points of that

00:17:51.340 I wonder

00:17:51.720 Well, I think a lot of it

00:17:53.460 Would be

00:17:53.880 You would get to decide

00:17:55.140 How to spend the money

00:17:56.080 I worry that

00:17:57.240 I think it's a good idea

00:17:58.280 In theory

00:17:58.700 And again

00:17:59.180 I don't fucking know

00:17:59.960 Because it's been so long

00:18:01.020 Since I've actually known

00:18:01.920 Shit like this

00:18:02.480 But I think a lot of states

00:18:04.020 Depend on federal funding

00:18:05.420 Way more than we realize

00:18:07.740 Yeah

00:18:08.060 Just say Mississippi

00:18:09.240 Yeah

00:18:09.600 Right, right, right, right

00:18:11.920 I think what would happen

00:18:13.220 Is like

00:18:13.800 And also it's like

00:18:16.920 Once you stop being different

00:18:18.720 Once you stop being

00:18:20.140 Like you could in theory

00:18:21.220 Be like

00:18:21.580 Well, we're not going to

00:18:22.140 Spend money on the military

00:18:23.200 Like there could be like

00:18:24.580 You know, liberal states

00:18:25.600 Are like

00:18:25.900 We're putting our money

00:18:26.540 Into whatever the fuck

00:18:27.860 And then it's like

00:18:28.800 First of all

00:18:29.680 Who gets all the

00:18:30.860 All the fucking planes

00:18:32.180 That's

00:18:32.740 Would we play like

00:18:33.660 Rock, paper, scissors

00:18:34.420 For that shit?

00:18:35.200 Well, the military

00:18:35.920 Would still have to be

00:18:36.620 A general consensus

00:18:37.900 Unless you'd have

00:18:38.440 State military as well

00:18:39.860 Right

00:18:40.400 But what you're talking about

00:18:42.220 Essentially is becoming

00:18:43.060 Independent countries

00:18:44.500 That's true

00:18:45.180 Or coalitions

00:18:46.500 You know what I mean?

00:18:47.540 Like

00:18:47.720 If you broke it up

00:18:49.040 Into four states

00:18:50.380 Maybe divide it up

00:18:51.440 By population

00:18:52.320 Yeah, maybe

00:18:53.640 It would be

00:18:54.380 Yeah, it would definitely

00:18:55.360 Be exciting, bro

00:18:56.380 To have that go on

00:18:57.260 In our lifetime

00:18:57.840 Yeah, yeah, yeah

00:18:58.420 Like, whoa

00:18:58.920 We started out as a country

00:19:00.120 Yeah

00:19:00.560 We couldn't do it

00:19:01.320 Couldn't do it

00:19:01.980 And so we started to separate

00:19:03.440 Why wouldn't you fuck up

00:19:05.280 The like

00:19:06.760 The liberal country

00:19:08.140 The liberal country though

00:19:09.240 Like it just feels like

00:19:10.320 It would be a quick like

00:19:11.740 All the places with guns

00:19:13.520 If I were a gun guy

00:19:14.900 Yeah

00:19:15.180 And you gave

00:19:16.280 If you took

00:19:17.060 You know, New York

00:19:17.980 And all these huge economies

00:19:19.240 It's like

00:19:19.660 Why don't we just go

00:19:21.220 Fucking kill those guys

00:19:22.220 Like it would be

00:19:23.160 Why wouldn't you just

00:19:24.140 Declare war

00:19:24.800 And be like

00:19:25.300 Dibs on

00:19:26.300 You know, this shit

00:19:27.140 Yeah, oh, I think

00:19:28.160 Definitely at New Year's Eve

00:19:29.860 Yeah, yeah

00:19:30.500 When it was like

00:19:31.060 The time where you

00:19:31.600 Shoot guns in the air

00:19:32.540 First day

00:19:32.840 I have a feeling

00:19:33.520 Everybody would just

00:19:34.200 Turn their guns

00:19:35.000 Right over to the state

00:19:36.720 They don't love

00:19:37.360 Yeah, yeah

00:19:38.380 Absolutely

00:19:39.420 So the bullets all

00:19:40.380 Flew over there

00:19:40.980 Yeah, absolutely

00:19:41.780 Well, who knows

00:19:42.820 I know

00:19:43.360 Who knows where it comes down

00:19:44.480 Not my problem

00:19:45.680 I'm celebrating

00:19:46.480 Like it's 19

00:19:46.980 You're just unloading the clip

00:19:49.560 Yeah, or an Albanian wedding maybe

00:19:51.020 Yeah

00:19:51.200 Let the fucking clip

00:19:52.300 Let the clip sing

00:19:53.240 Let the chopper sing

00:19:54.180 For an Albanian wedding

00:19:55.740 Oh, dude

00:20:00.620 That's fun, man

00:20:01.620 I would live

00:20:02.160 Where would you

00:20:02.580 I would have to stay

00:20:03.860 I would have to stay

00:20:05.280 In the whatever

00:20:05.900 Northeast

00:20:06.520 Country would be

00:20:08.520 I would be a New York guy

00:20:09.700 I think so

00:20:10.640 You would have

00:20:11.260 Yeah, I think

00:20:11.820 You would be a

00:20:13.200 Baltimore

00:20:14.260 As long as Baltimore

00:20:14.960 You don't like the Buddha

00:20:15.620 Of Baltimore

00:20:16.240 Yeah, yeah, yeah

00:20:17.140 I would hope Baltimore

00:20:18.100 New York would be

00:20:18.880 In one kind of

00:20:20.020 Mid-Atlantic

00:20:21.080 I think that's what would happen

00:20:23.040 You'd have kind of like a

00:20:24.100 You know what I mean

00:20:25.380 You'd have clumps

00:20:26.300 It wouldn't be just 50

00:20:27.480 It wouldn't be 50 countries

00:20:28.680 What we're talking about here

00:20:30.120 Oh, you say

00:20:30.600 We'd probably get down

00:20:31.340 To about maybe 20 states

00:20:32.500 Or something

00:20:32.840 20, maybe 10

00:20:34.160 You know what I'm saying

00:20:35.380 Yeah

00:20:35.580 Maybe fucking 5

00:20:37.580 Who fucking knows

00:20:38.440 What if it was some weird state

00:20:39.920 That formed all across

00:20:40.700 Like Georgifornia

00:20:42.160 Yeah

00:20:42.420 And it was like this weird

00:20:44.580 They just took

00:20:45.160 Or just yeah

00:20:45.660 They took all the coastline

00:20:46.600 They're like

00:20:46.940 We're the beach state

00:20:47.720 Suck my dick

00:20:48.420 You want to come to a beach

00:20:49.640 You gotta fucking

00:20:50.240 You gotta go through me

00:20:51.340 That would be fucking bullshit

00:20:53.020 Dude, if San Francisco

00:20:55.060 Like commandeered

00:20:56.180 Like all

00:20:56.600 Like certain

00:20:57.100 Like all the

00:20:58.580 They owned all the

00:20:59.540 Like certain rest areas

00:21:00.840 Along the way

00:21:01.500 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

00:21:02.860 Well, that's what you do

00:21:04.200 With the homeless

00:21:04.700 Put them to work

00:21:05.420 Give them a couple guns

00:21:06.700 Give them

00:21:07.400 You know what I mean

00:21:07.940 Like you would have

00:21:08.920 You would have the

00:21:09.760 You could have the

00:21:10.880 Homeless Marine Corps

00:21:12.440 You know what I mean

00:21:13.500 Where it's like

00:21:14.060 They just got needles

00:21:15.060 You know, they got

00:21:15.740 Little Wolverine hand needles

00:21:17.140 Coming at you

00:21:18.160 You know what I mean

00:21:18.760 That's

00:21:19.140 Oh, or they're all

00:21:19.880 They have like a big needle

00:21:20.960 Yeah, yeah

00:21:21.720 One giant needle

00:21:22.740 And they just load it up

00:21:24.180 Yeah

00:21:24.640 And just

00:21:25.420 Yeah

00:21:26.400 And then they just run

00:21:27.960 And inject it into somebody

00:21:29.300 Yeah, yeah, yeah

00:21:30.500 Is it fentanyl

00:21:31.200 Is it hormones

00:21:31.920 Who knows

00:21:32.840 Yeah, dude

00:21:33.540 I got Narcan

00:21:34.780 You're just hitting each other

00:21:35.600 With different needles

00:21:36.260 Yeah, yeah, yeah

00:21:37.100 Hooray

00:21:37.460 That is interesting

00:21:38.360 Because my gut reaction

00:21:39.840 Would be

00:21:40.260 Well, whoever has guns

00:21:42.100 You know, southern states

00:21:43.200 Whatever would fuck it up

00:21:43.960 But every time I feel like

00:21:45.400 You look at Fox News

00:21:46.140 It's like a different guy

00:21:47.360 That's so scared

00:21:48.340 To go to New York City

00:21:49.400 Who's like the toughest guy

00:21:50.940 It's like you have guns

00:21:52.180 And shit

00:21:52.480 But you're scared of the homeless

00:21:53.560 So it's kind of a natural

00:21:55.160 It would be a natural

00:21:57.420 Like stalemate

00:21:58.320 Where it's like

00:21:58.900 We would just need

00:21:59.360 A wall of patrolling

00:22:01.060 And then give them houses

00:22:02.620 Give them little

00:22:03.240 Sick homeless huts

00:22:04.840 Lean-to's on the outside

00:22:06.180 Absolutely

00:22:06.720 Get a shanty town

00:22:07.940 Teach farming

00:22:08.820 To homeless people

00:22:09.460 I wonder if

00:22:10.520 Well, I think

00:22:11.060 One of the big issues

00:22:11.980 With the homeless

00:22:12.480 Is just that it's

00:22:13.340 There's two

00:22:14.900 There's like

00:22:15.740 Half people are

00:22:17.200 Not doing well

00:22:18.620 Half the people

00:22:19.160 Are drug users

00:22:19.740 There's huge beef

00:22:21.180 On the street

00:22:21.700 Between homeless

00:22:22.720 And

00:22:23.380 Just drugs

00:22:25.100 On the drugs

00:22:25.820 Sleeping outdoors

00:22:27.140 Doing drugs

00:22:27.840 Right, right, right

00:22:28.660 Yeah

00:22:29.060 We don't know about that

00:22:30.140 Get out of our community

00:22:31.120 Kind of thing

00:22:32.060 Right, there's

00:22:32.880 Yeah, there's a lot of

00:22:33.940 Beef out there

00:22:34.480 Between those two cultures

00:22:35.780 I get that

00:22:36.340 I get that, yeah

00:22:37.460 Dude, they

00:22:37.880 I talked about this before

00:22:38.920 I think

00:22:39.200 But they had

00:22:39.940 In Los Angeles

00:22:41.280 My apartment is right

00:22:42.420 By a big park, right

00:22:43.840 And it's hella homeless

00:22:44.980 Out there

00:22:45.280 There's a dude that

00:22:46.140 They caught killing

00:22:47.420 He had a rooster

00:22:49.100 And then they finally

00:22:49.880 Found the dude

00:22:50.640 That had it, right

00:22:51.280 He was waking everybody up, right

00:22:52.560 For a four block radius

00:22:54.120 This fucking thing

00:22:54.920 They finally

00:22:56.080 No chickens

00:22:56.780 Just the rooster

00:22:57.580 We ended up

00:22:58.540 Killing the bird

00:23:00.280 And doing a meal with it

00:23:01.860 Oh, nice

00:23:02.420 And then

00:23:03.060 They had another

00:23:04.000 Pair of guys

00:23:05.140 And one of them

00:23:06.020 I think was a woman

00:23:06.820 But whatever

00:23:07.440 Sure, sure

00:23:08.080 Everybody can do

00:23:09.060 What they want

00:23:09.700 Yep

00:23:10.100 And

00:23:10.700 But yeah

00:23:12.100 They were two men

00:23:13.020 And then

00:23:14.100 They stole a bunch

00:23:16.740 Of high school

00:23:17.420 Band equipment, right

00:23:18.800 So

00:23:20.920 Bro, it was

00:23:22.380 Fucking

00:23:22.640 That's awesome

00:23:23.300 Crazy

00:23:24.720 If you're gonna do

00:23:25.600 Homeless crime

00:23:26.220 Make it fun

00:23:27.260 You know what I mean

00:23:28.360 Ba da da da

00:23:29.400 Da da da da

00:23:30.420 With your dick

00:23:32.840 Hanging out of your

00:23:33.400 Old ass sweatpants

00:23:34.820 Ba da da da

00:23:35.860 Da da da da

00:23:37.260 They were just

00:23:40.240 Bro

00:23:40.760 They hit his head

00:23:41.640 Sheep music

00:23:42.360 From a high school

00:23:43.040 That's fucking awesome

00:23:45.180 Oh god

00:23:46.240 It was fucking

00:23:47.140 For two months

00:23:50.300 You got a lot of time

00:23:51.380 On your hands

00:23:51.980 If you're almost

00:23:52.500 Master an instrument

00:23:53.480 Oh yeah

00:23:54.060 You know what I'm saying

00:23:55.140 Like

00:23:55.540 You know what I mean

00:23:56.840 Like let's

00:23:57.380 Learn how to play

00:23:58.140 The fucking

00:23:58.580 French horn, dude

00:23:59.740 The fuck

00:24:00.220 That's nice

00:24:00.840 Yeah

00:24:01.600 There's some guy

00:24:05.000 Playing taps

00:24:05.780 Every night

00:24:06.220 When they go to bed

00:24:06.880 I love that, dude

00:24:09.200 That's fucking sick

00:24:10.620 Yeah

00:24:11.460 Man

00:24:12.500 But dude

00:24:14.020 Congratulations

00:24:14.620 There is something that

00:24:15.860 Or I don't know

00:24:16.860 If you feel it

00:24:17.520 Because you're from

00:24:17.920 A little bit younger

00:24:18.420 Generation than me

00:24:19.260 Right

00:24:19.500 Or you know

00:24:19.920 Probably 10 years younger

00:24:21.360 So do you feel like

00:24:23.280 Was there a level

00:24:24.540 Of getting Netflix

00:24:25.420 That made you

00:24:26.260 It made you feel

00:24:27.140 A certain way

00:24:27.800 For sure

00:24:28.420 Was there?

00:24:29.220 Yeah

00:24:29.380 Yeah I mean

00:24:29.940 I think part of it

00:24:31.320 Was like

00:24:31.760 These last couple years

00:24:33.480 Went better than I thought

00:24:34.940 Possible

00:24:35.560 You know what I mean

00:24:36.200 Like I put out the special

00:24:37.180 And I started posting clips

00:24:38.560 And people just

00:24:39.200 Responded in a way

00:24:40.340 That I'm still confused

00:24:41.500 A little bit about

00:24:42.280 Where I'm like

00:24:42.920 Or these like theaters

00:24:44.080 And shit

00:24:44.420 Like that

00:24:44.900 And part of me

00:24:45.800 Was like

00:24:46.120 This is fucking sick

00:24:47.100 I'll always continue

00:24:48.720 To do this

00:24:49.200 I love having

00:24:50.160 Control over how like

00:24:51.740 People interact with my shit

00:24:53.200 But at the end of the day

00:24:54.380 There is something

00:24:55.120 There's a huge

00:24:56.140 A totally different

00:24:58.060 Type of

00:24:58.780 Audience

00:24:59.980 On Netflix

00:25:00.880 Mainstream

00:25:01.500 People that really

00:25:02.200 Even though everything's

00:25:03.120 Moving online

00:25:03.640 That's like

00:25:04.860 Shit moves slower

00:25:06.220 Than people

00:25:06.680 Give it credit for

00:25:07.860 Right

00:25:08.060 So there's still

00:25:08.520 So many people

00:25:09.440 That like

00:25:09.860 Don't know who the fuck

00:25:11.080 You are if you're

00:25:11.540 Just on YouTube

00:25:12.440 Even though it might

00:25:13.260 Even though it really

00:25:13.820 Helps selling tickets

00:25:14.660 So it was like

00:25:15.880 I was just like

00:25:16.900 I want one

00:25:17.980 Like I have no

00:25:19.500 Mainstream credits

00:25:20.340 I have not one

00:25:21.640 Like you know

00:25:23.280 Wow

00:25:23.600 No fucking late night

00:25:24.900 No you know

00:25:26.080 No TV

00:25:26.500 None of that shit

00:25:27.060 So it was just like

00:25:27.780 Let's get one

00:25:29.300 Real one

00:25:30.440 And let's

00:25:31.260 Let it be a place

00:25:32.200 Where everybody

00:25:33.360 Fucking

00:25:33.760 It still has that

00:25:35.040 Like

00:25:35.400 Like

00:25:36.920 Cause there's no

00:25:38.340 Comedy Central hour anymore

00:25:39.480 There's no HBO special anymore

00:25:41.020 I mean

00:25:41.240 I know they exist

00:25:42.180 Don't get me wrong

00:25:42.820 But it's like

00:25:43.400 Netflix for a while

00:25:44.560 I think

00:25:44.980 Became the

00:25:46.200 The place for comedy

00:25:47.320 And so

00:25:48.460 And I think they kinda

00:25:49.680 They realized that

00:25:51.520 With everybody doing YouTube

00:25:52.680 Like everybody

00:25:53.740 Who got specials recently

00:25:54.780 You know

00:25:55.460 You look at Shane

00:25:56.260 You know what I mean

00:25:57.120 Like Sam

00:25:57.980 Mark

00:25:58.560 Whatever

00:25:59.080 Everybody

00:26:00.400 Me

00:26:00.700 We all had to

00:26:01.360 Fucking go do it

00:26:02.140 We had to almost

00:26:02.940 Prove it

00:26:03.580 And then Netflix

00:26:04.240 Was like

00:26:04.440 Oh fuck

00:26:04.880 This

00:26:05.140 This is going

00:26:06.160 We missed the boat

00:26:06.840 Yeah like

00:26:07.340 But then they're doing

00:26:08.080 A good job of like

00:26:08.940 They're like

00:26:09.520 No do it here now

00:26:10.600 And I think it's been

00:26:11.760 A really good thing

00:26:12.480 For comedy

00:26:13.180 Where it's like

00:26:13.740 We all made our own

00:26:15.480 Fan bases

00:26:15.940 And now it's like

00:26:16.680 Now some of us

00:26:18.220 Are bringing fan bases there

00:26:19.340 But then it's like

00:26:20.000 There's regular motherfuckers

00:26:21.720 That just

00:26:22.140 Want to watch

00:26:23.080 You know

00:26:23.660 I mean the office

00:26:24.960 Is on Peacock now

00:26:25.760 But like

00:26:26.120 The office

00:26:26.680 Just some mainstream shit

00:26:27.900 That have no fucking clue

00:26:29.380 Who I am

00:26:29.840 So it was

00:26:30.360 It was

00:26:30.840 It does feel really cool

00:26:32.400 And a lot of people

00:26:33.420 It's funny

00:26:33.880 Because people

00:26:34.980 Your audience

00:26:35.560 Will be like

00:26:35.960 Dude Netflix

00:26:36.700 Hell yeah

00:26:37.220 That's huge

00:26:38.080 And it's like

00:26:38.420 It is

00:26:38.740 But also like

00:26:39.280 You're here

00:26:40.280 You know what I mean

00:26:41.280 Like you found me already

00:26:42.660 Why does it matter

00:26:43.380 That I got

00:26:43.860 But like

00:26:44.560 It does still matter

00:26:45.940 And to me

00:26:46.440 It feels cool

00:26:47.040 Because it's like

00:26:47.500 You know

00:26:47.760 It feels like

00:26:49.000 The place

00:26:49.680 Where

00:26:50.460 Theoretically

00:26:52.380 It could be

00:26:52.860 Some huge

00:26:53.520 Not that I'm

00:26:54.400 Banking on it

00:26:54.880 To be some huge hit

00:26:55.540 But it's like

00:26:55.980 You're at least

00:26:56.700 In the mix

00:26:57.320 Where it's like

00:26:58.320 All the mainstream shit

00:26:59.700 Is on there

00:27:00.160 So it's like

00:27:00.560 You feel like

00:27:01.340 You're in a different

00:27:02.620 You know

00:27:03.400 Kind of in a little bit

00:27:04.380 Of a different

00:27:04.840 Like league

00:27:05.500 A little bit

00:27:06.060 Yeah

00:27:06.540 So it's cool

00:27:07.060 No it's interesting

00:27:08.200 Yeah

00:27:08.420 Because I think

00:27:08.860 It used to feel like

00:27:09.840 Yeah if you got

00:27:10.780 A special on something

00:27:11.840 Or you got

00:27:12.580 It wasn't

00:27:13.560 You couldn't tell

00:27:14.200 Your friends

00:27:14.860 You were a comedian

00:27:15.820 It felt like

00:27:16.720 Right

00:27:17.020 This is just my perception

00:27:18.680 That until you got

00:27:19.800 Something on television

00:27:20.720 Totally

00:27:21.120 Or something

00:27:21.620 You know

00:27:21.900 Something on streaming

00:27:23.260 Something somewhere

00:27:24.240 Yeah

00:27:24.580 Until then a lot of people

00:27:25.440 Thought you were just

00:27:26.020 Like a gay guy

00:27:26.820 Like trying not to be gay

00:27:28.120 Yeah yeah yeah

00:27:28.920 You know like

00:27:29.480 Dang I'm like dude

00:27:30.320 Yeah absolutely

00:27:30.900 This guy

00:27:31.400 This is how he gets

00:27:32.260 Out of his system

00:27:32.900 Yeah yeah

00:27:33.320 You know

00:27:33.680 He can't sing

00:27:34.440 He can't dance

00:27:35.180 All these guys

00:27:36.140 Telling little stories

00:27:37.500 He tried playing

00:27:38.520 The homeless trombone

00:27:39.560 He got blown off

00:27:40.820 The fucking streets

00:27:41.820 So now he's gotta do

00:27:43.720 His gay little stories

00:27:45.080 Yeah

00:27:45.900 That was it

00:27:46.780 It really is art

00:27:47.800 For the least talented

00:27:48.720 People in the world

00:27:49.460 Oh yeah

00:27:49.760 That's what we're doing

00:27:50.620 It's like we have no

00:27:51.700 We are not showmen

00:27:53.140 You put us in the 20s

00:27:54.600 When everyone

00:27:55.080 How you doing m'lady

00:27:56.840 You know in between

00:27:58.100 They had to be

00:27:58.600 Their own dance guys

00:27:59.460 We're fucked

00:28:00.340 We just gotta tell

00:28:01.960 Humorous stories

00:28:03.780 Yeah we would be

00:28:05.360 On a wanted poster

00:28:06.620 Oh my god

00:28:07.480 Dude we were peeping

00:28:08.140 Times before they had

00:28:08.940 Windows

00:28:09.420 Yeah dude

00:28:10.340 Yes absolutely

00:28:11.700 Just be

00:28:12.340 Just trying to

00:28:13.180 Put your cheek up

00:28:14.280 Against a woman's window

00:28:15.120 And maybe

00:28:15.560 She rubbed her tits

00:28:17.100 On it for a second

00:28:17.820 Some of that heat

00:28:18.880 Gets through that window

00:28:20.000 God I miss all that

00:28:21.420 And I love that

00:28:22.100 You know

00:28:24.860 Yeah but there was

00:28:27.220 There was something

00:28:28.040 About getting it

00:28:28.720 In a place

00:28:29.200 And I think

00:28:29.600 Having it in a place

00:28:30.220 Where it's like

00:28:30.680 I think it starts to

00:28:32.080 If there's any

00:28:32.800 I was just wondering

00:28:33.540 There used to be

00:28:34.060 This thing in our heads

00:28:34.920 That would be like

00:28:35.560 Oh man this thing's

00:28:36.760 Spinning and if I don't get

00:28:37.980 Once you get something

00:28:39.460 In a place where people

00:28:40.200 Can go view it

00:28:41.080 Yeah

00:28:41.260 Then it feels like

00:28:42.220 You're at least

00:28:42.780 You've achieved

00:28:43.820 Some goal

00:28:44.740 Totally

00:28:45.400 I don't know if it's

00:28:45.900 A success but it's a goal

00:28:47.480 No I really feel that way

00:28:49.360 A little bit

00:28:49.760 Where it's like

00:28:50.180 So that's what I was wondering

00:28:50.860 Is it still like that

00:28:51.960 It feels like a

00:28:52.840 Like a fucking

00:28:53.700 Save point in a video game

00:28:55.120 Right

00:28:55.360 You know what I mean

00:28:55.960 You can save it now

00:28:57.020 Yeah yeah yeah

00:28:57.640 It's like I can take a break

00:28:58.860 Right

00:28:59.180 Cause dude I've been fucking

00:29:00.300 I've been going

00:29:00.940 Like I've been not

00:29:02.620 Since the pandemic ended

00:29:03.640 It's like

00:29:04.520 It literally has just been like

00:29:06.260 My road business

00:29:08.320 And my

00:29:08.740 Like shit on mine

00:29:09.540 Has kept growing

00:29:10.220 To a point where I felt

00:29:11.080 Like I couldn't stop

00:29:12.540 I was like

00:29:12.960 I needed some tangible thing

00:29:15.240 Even though

00:29:15.760 That's a little in your head

00:29:17.160 I think we're both

00:29:18.200 And a lot of people

00:29:19.180 Are just a little neurotic

00:29:20.220 In comedy

00:29:21.120 Where you have to feel

00:29:22.080 Like you have earned a break

00:29:24.060 And to me it does

00:29:25.080 This thing does feel that way

00:29:26.500 Where it's like

00:29:27.040 I worked hard as fuck

00:29:28.600 Put out a special

00:29:29.480 Busted my ass

00:29:30.820 To get more material

00:29:32.000 In a year

00:29:32.500 So that I could

00:29:33.000 Potentially do this

00:29:34.300 And now it's like

00:29:35.680 We saved

00:29:36.580 I'm gonna go fuck

00:29:37.740 I'm gonna do some side quests

00:29:39.000 I'm in Vice City

00:29:40.360 I'm gonna go

00:29:40.920 I'm gonna go

00:29:41.560 To the

00:29:42.560 Do the cheat

00:29:43.440 The hack

00:29:44.180 Where they suck you off

00:29:45.200 You know what I mean

00:29:46.320 I'm gonna go

00:29:47.720 To the beach

00:29:48.540 And shoot

00:29:48.940 You know what I mean

00:29:49.780 Just like hang out

00:29:50.740 Like I can't wait

00:29:51.580 To do that

00:29:52.100 But yeah

00:29:52.360 It definitely feels that way

00:29:53.500 And it's hard

00:29:54.320 Cause not a lot

00:29:55.060 There's not a lot

00:29:55.860 Of that stuff anymore

00:29:56.680 A little bit of it

00:29:57.980 Feels like we

00:29:58.640 We don't know a path

00:30:00.480 There are no answers

00:30:01.500 Wow

00:30:01.860 The thing that's

00:30:03.480 Except maybe your own podcast

00:30:04.600 Which is kind of

00:30:05.180 Why I started one too

00:30:06.020 Where it was just like

00:30:06.700 That's like

00:30:07.580 You're connected to your people

00:30:08.980 Once a week

00:30:09.860 And I love that aspect of it

00:30:11.600 But everything else dude

00:30:12.660 YouTube

00:30:14.200 YouTube could fucking

00:30:15.320 Decide we don't want

00:30:16.580 Dirty shit on our platform

00:30:17.760 Tomorrow

00:30:18.320 Yeah

00:30:18.700 And then what the fuck

00:30:19.320 Do you do

00:30:19.720 You're fucked

00:30:20.380 You know

00:30:21.080 And it's like

00:30:21.620 Even you know

00:30:22.880 Instagram

00:30:23.400 Take that

00:30:24.360 All those motherfuckers

00:30:25.180 Can change their algorithm

00:30:26.040 Like that

00:30:26.640 They could ban you

00:30:27.840 Just

00:30:28.340 I got plenty of shit

00:30:29.560 You know what I mean

00:30:29.980 Plenty of people

00:30:31.400 All comedians have said

00:30:32.120 Some wild

00:30:32.720 Bannable shit

00:30:33.760 If they decide to switch up

00:30:35.060 So it's like

00:30:35.620 So it does

00:30:36.820 But this does feel like

00:30:38.360 Hey

00:30:38.600 I have this body of work

00:30:39.820 At least

00:30:40.140 Where it's like

00:30:40.640 The big picture thing

00:30:42.040 That's there

00:30:42.540 And then

00:30:42.920 It'll help with all this other shit

00:30:44.800 Until we figure out

00:30:45.980 What the next thing is

00:30:46.920 Yeah

00:30:47.320 Yeah it's cool man

00:30:48.740 Well congratulations dude

00:30:50.000 Thanks dude

00:30:50.360 I'm pumped

00:30:50.640 You really deserve it

00:30:51.320 And yes

00:30:51.620 But it was cool

00:30:52.140 I know you and I

00:30:52.700 Crossed paths a couple weeks ago

00:30:54.220 Yeah

00:30:54.540 Yeah we were both in Cleveland

00:30:56.100 In Cleveland

00:30:56.800 Yeah dude

00:30:57.660 That was cool man

00:30:58.560 That was awesome

00:30:59.280 Yeah thank you

00:30:59.760 That was fucking sick

00:31:00.640 Yeah that was cool man

00:31:01.560 We were in Akron

00:31:02.080 The house of

00:31:03.140 You were playing Akron

00:31:04.240 Where LeBron

00:31:04.860 LeBron was built

00:31:06.000 Yeah the darkest theater

00:31:07.060 I'd ever been in

00:31:07.720 Very dark

00:31:08.400 I had no idea

00:31:09.000 How gigantic it was

00:31:09.960 I literally thought

00:31:10.780 I was like

00:31:11.040 Oh cool

00:31:11.380 Theo's doing like

00:31:12.080 He wants to do some

00:31:13.220 Small theaters and shit

00:31:14.560 I thought it was like

00:31:15.280 People right in front of us

00:31:16.720 And then

00:31:16.960 They turn the lights on

00:31:18.020 And this motherfucker

00:31:18.680 Goes up like that high

00:31:20.060 The suicide section huh

00:31:22.060 Yeah yeah yeah

00:31:22.520 Oh we do five or six guys

00:31:23.680 Dive off there

00:31:24.340 Every night

00:31:24.780 He had a bungee jump

00:31:26.600 Off that bitch

00:31:27.140 Yeah a couple dudes

00:31:27.920 Auditioning for Antifa

00:31:30.880 At my shows or whatever

00:31:32.120 Yeah dude it's crazy

00:31:34.540 We had a show last night

00:31:35.200 I am tired man

00:31:36.300 We had a show last night

00:31:37.280 In Huntsville

00:31:38.440 Hell yeah

00:31:39.080 What was I thinking about

00:31:40.460 Oh when you said

00:31:41.300 Federal funding

00:31:42.180 Oh so say if they did

00:31:43.720 Divide in the states

00:31:44.480 Right

00:31:44.780 So Louisiana

00:31:45.920 There was a time where

00:31:47.400 They were given federal funding

00:31:48.700 And they said we had to

00:31:49.400 Change our drinking law

00:31:50.660 From 18 to 21

00:31:52.380 Can you pull that up Alex

00:31:53.420 What

00:31:54.000 That's bullshit

00:31:55.500 And we said

00:31:56.680 Fuck you

00:31:58.240 Yeah

00:31:58.660 We said fuck you

00:32:02.080 That's awesome

00:32:02.780 Not only are we gonna be drunk

00:32:04.060 Yeah

00:32:04.480 But we're gonna let our roads

00:32:06.100 Deteriorate

00:32:06.920 So we drive

00:32:08.180 Yeah yeah

00:32:08.780 The following year

00:32:10.440 There was like 7,000

00:32:11.960 Drunk driving deaths

00:32:12.980 They're like

00:32:14.540 Fucking try us

00:32:15.920 Motherfucker

00:32:16.420 We don't care

00:32:17.040 They're like

00:32:17.900 It's babies with fetal alcohol

00:32:19.220 Syndrome driving

00:32:20.160 Yeah it's Albanian babies

00:32:24.440 Pull up an article

00:32:26.000 Just if you see something like that

00:32:27.300 That's fucking awesome dude

00:32:28.420 Yeah

00:32:29.260 I respect that so much

00:32:30.760 Well we tried

00:32:31.380 I remember

00:32:31.940 To do that

00:32:33.080 And for a few years

00:32:33.980 It stood up

00:32:34.540 And everybody's excited

00:32:35.200 We can drink

00:32:35.980 You know

00:32:36.220 But then everybody's

00:32:36.920 Kids were dying

00:32:37.940 And families were dying

00:32:38.880 Like ah man

00:32:39.700 Maybe we shouldn't drink

00:32:40.600 Yeah yeah yeah yeah

00:32:41.860 For three years

00:32:42.940 Yeah yeah yeah

00:32:44.220 It is funny though

00:32:45.900 If you watch like clips of

00:32:47.660 When they passed

00:32:48.860 Drunk driving laws

00:32:49.820 People are just like

00:32:51.160 Are you fucking kidding

00:32:52.340 In my own truck

00:32:53.840 Yeah

00:32:54.140 The government is trying

00:32:55.340 To fucking

00:32:55.820 Now they're in my

00:32:57.000 F-150

00:32:57.880 What's next

00:32:59.320 You know what I mean

00:33:00.320 It's like

00:33:00.720 People fight

00:33:01.800 Good like

00:33:02.800 Any regulation

00:33:03.780 Tooth and nail

00:33:04.580 Which I

00:33:05.140 It's like the way

00:33:05.700 A baby's like

00:33:06.360 I'm not going to bed

00:33:07.300 Suck my dick

00:33:08.100 And then

00:33:08.540 They you know

00:33:09.260 They wake up

00:33:09.680 And this look

00:33:10.260 Let's say this

00:33:10.820 This baby does

00:33:11.480 Smoke cigarettes

00:33:12.340 And has had a history

00:33:13.900 Of gambling online

00:33:14.980 To be able to say

00:33:16.600 That kind of stuff

00:33:17.140 Yeah yeah

00:33:17.520 Very

00:33:18.040 He's got a dirty mouth

00:33:19.580 A foul mouth

00:33:20.840 This baby

00:33:21.420 Yeah this baby

00:33:22.080 Worked offshore

00:33:22.820 For a couple years

00:33:23.880 Here it says

00:33:25.160 Published March 10th

00:33:26.360 1996 at 5am

00:33:27.540 Let me see

00:33:29.280 For a year

00:33:29.680 Let me see

00:33:30.060 Last week

00:33:30.580 The Louisiana

00:33:30.960 Supreme Court

00:33:32.380 Ruled that

00:33:32.900 The state's drinking

00:33:33.600 Age of 21

00:33:34.240 Is a form of

00:33:34.820 Age discrimination

00:33:35.780 And tossed out

00:33:37.780 The 1995 law

00:33:38.760 As well as

00:33:39.180 The 1986 law

00:33:40.000 That barred those

00:33:40.860 Under 21

00:33:42.640 From buying alcohol

00:33:43.480 Louisiana has become

00:33:44.180 The only state

00:33:44.840 In the nation

00:33:45.240 With a drinking

00:33:45.780 Age of 18

00:33:46.540 That's not still

00:33:47.440 How it is though

00:33:48.000 Is it

00:33:48.260 No they had to

00:33:49.020 Change it at some point

00:33:50.240 When the potholes

00:33:51.160 Were so big

00:33:51.780 It was just

00:33:52.120 Swallowing

00:33:52.720 Entire cars

00:33:54.040 Oh there's people

00:33:54.940 Doing like spas

00:33:56.040 In a pothole

00:33:56.600 Where they put a

00:33:57.260 Put a heating rod

00:33:59.240 Down into a pothole

00:34:00.080 That's fucking awesome

00:34:01.200 Pull that

00:34:01.540 Yeah dude

00:34:02.040 They had people

00:34:02.680 Yeah

00:34:02.920 Some people

00:34:03.680 Drove into a pothole

00:34:05.060 They filmed

00:34:06.360 They filmed

00:34:07.040 That movie

00:34:07.820 Tremors in a pothole

00:34:08.820 There

00:34:09.040 Yeah

00:34:09.080 They had a whole

00:34:10.900 Soundstage down there

00:34:12.000 Oh there's people

00:34:12.760 Dennis Quaid was in

00:34:13.640 Elon Musk is doing

00:34:14.720 Something down in

00:34:15.260 One of them

00:34:15.700 Yep

00:34:16.100 When there's little

00:34:17.060 Tunnels

00:34:17.460 My man loves tunnels

00:34:19.260 The weather is getting

00:34:21.340 Cooler in a lot of

00:34:22.460 Places

00:34:22.860 If you go outside

00:34:23.940 You gotta come back

00:34:24.880 Inside

00:34:25.260 Cause it's cold

00:34:26.920 That's why

00:34:27.660 That means it's

00:34:29.620 Fine time

00:34:30.960 To stock your

00:34:31.820 Closet

00:34:32.380 With winter

00:34:33.460 Clothes

00:34:34.220 With Ibotta

00:34:36.260 You can get

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00:34:39.720 Gloves

00:34:40.440 Scarves

00:34:41.340 And more

00:34:42.280 For the whole

00:34:42.880 Family

00:34:43.320 That's right

00:34:44.540 You can earn

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00:34:49.520 When you start

00:34:50.680 With Ibotta

00:34:52.040 Including Lowe's

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00:34:56.100 The average

00:34:57.360 Ibotta user

00:34:58.280 Earns $100

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00:35:02.880 Trip

00:35:03.300 Download the

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00:35:07.660 Theo

00:35:08.060 To start earning

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00:35:26.280 Start saving

00:35:27.720 Today

00:35:28.460 This holiday season

00:35:30.800 You might be

00:35:31.560 Looking for

00:35:32.180 Nutritious

00:35:32.720 Convenient

00:35:33.360 Meals

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00:35:34.520 Energized

00:35:35.280 On jam

00:35:36.600 Packed

00:35:37.100 Days

00:35:37.560 You know

00:35:38.560 It's that

00:35:39.100 Time of year

00:35:39.520 When the

00:35:39.820 Days just

00:35:40.400 They go

00:35:40.760 So fast

00:35:41.640 And you

00:35:42.340 Gotta be

00:35:42.640 Fueled up

00:35:43.400 Factor

00:35:44.700 Is America's

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00:35:46.000 Ready to eat

00:35:46.600 Meal delivery

00:35:47.280 Service

00:35:47.740 They can help

00:35:49.000 You fuel up

00:35:49.840 Fast for

00:35:50.520 Breakfast

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00:35:51.540 Dinner

00:35:51.800 With chef

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00:35:55.880 Meals

00:35:56.400 Delivered

00:35:57.260 Straight to

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00:35:58.220 You'll save

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00:35:59.780 Eat well

00:36:00.340 And stay

00:36:00.760 On track

00:36:01.360 With your

00:36:01.760 Healthy lifestyle

00:36:02.780 While tackling

00:36:03.880 All your

00:36:04.580 Holiday to-do's

00:36:05.860 That's right

00:36:07.100 Factor meals

00:36:08.000 I love them

00:36:08.620 They taste

00:36:09.760 Good

00:36:10.000 They taste

00:36:10.460 Like somebody

00:36:11.000 Just made

00:36:11.660 Them in the

00:36:12.040 Kitchen

00:36:12.420 God

00:36:12.940 They're good

00:36:13.680 Head to

00:36:15.080 Factormeals.com

00:36:16.860 Slash

00:36:17.420 Theo

00:36:18.040 Five

00:36:18.760 Zero

00:36:19.160 And use

00:36:20.120 Code

00:36:20.400 Theo

00:36:20.880 Five

00:36:21.620 Zero

00:36:22.040 To get

00:36:22.320 50%

00:36:22.960 Off

00:36:23.260 That's

00:36:24.120 Code

00:36:24.360 T-H-E-O

00:36:25.880 Number

00:36:26.440 Five

00:36:27.020 Number

00:36:27.540 Zero

00:36:28.100 At

00:36:28.860 Factormeals.com

00:36:30.760 Slash

00:36:31.660 Theo

00:36:32.140 Five

00:36:32.580 Zero

00:36:32.880 To get

00:36:33.240 50%

00:36:34.540 Off

00:36:35.140 They are

00:36:36.060 They are

00:36:37.300 Good

00:36:37.580 They're tasty

00:36:38.260 And they got

00:36:38.680 All kinds

00:36:39.420 Whatever your

00:36:40.320 Diet is

00:36:40.920 They'll do

00:36:41.360 It for you

00:36:41.940 What about

00:36:43.500 So the

00:36:43.860 Holidays

00:36:44.420 What was it

00:36:44.880 Like the

00:36:45.240 What's the

00:36:45.780 Holidays

00:36:46.100 Like up in

00:36:46.600 Baltimore

00:36:46.880 Because Baltimore

00:36:47.560 And New Orleans

00:36:48.080 Are pretty

00:36:48.420 Similar

00:36:48.800 Yeah

00:36:49.140 They're

00:36:49.380 Well

00:36:49.840 I

00:36:50.200 First of

00:36:50.980 New Orleans

00:36:51.340 Rocks

00:36:52.040 Such a

00:36:52.500 Sick

00:36:52.680 City

00:36:52.940 But yes

00:36:53.540 They both

00:36:53.920 Are cities

00:36:54.360 With their own

00:36:54.860 Like

00:36:55.120 Vibe

00:36:55.880 But I

00:36:56.620 Don't

00:36:56.740 Know

00:36:56.840 I mean

00:36:57.140 We were

00:36:57.700 My family

00:36:58.780 Just did

00:36:59.160 Not

00:36:59.440 Greek people

00:37:00.180 Didn't have

00:37:00.600 Thanksgiving

00:37:01.100 Oh really

00:37:02.020 So like

00:37:02.480 We adopted

00:37:03.920 That shit

00:37:04.480 While we were

00:37:04.960 Obviously like

00:37:05.680 You know

00:37:05.940 You're here

00:37:06.260 You live in

00:37:06.580 America

00:37:06.880 Whatever

00:37:07.200 But like

00:37:08.000 My family

00:37:08.520 Was not a

00:37:08.980 Turkey family

00:37:09.600 My dad

00:37:10.080 We would

00:37:10.400 Always get

00:37:10.760 A leg

00:37:11.040 Of lamb

00:37:11.460 We would

00:37:12.180 Always

00:37:12.480 Have lamb

00:37:13.420 And we

00:37:14.580 Would go

00:37:15.100 Our Thanksgiving

00:37:15.840 Was we would

00:37:16.220 Always go

00:37:16.860 To my

00:37:17.980 Brother's

00:37:18.400 Godmother's

00:37:18.980 House

00:37:19.300 Who lived

00:37:20.160 Just in

00:37:20.700 The hood

00:37:21.040 Truly

00:37:21.440 Like she

00:37:22.200 I don't know

00:37:23.180 What the fuck

00:37:23.700 Happened

00:37:24.140 She's the only

00:37:25.100 She's like a

00:37:26.080 Four

00:37:27.060 Six

00:37:28.040 Woman

00:37:28.880 Both

00:37:29.360 Dimensions

00:37:30.120 Just a nice

00:37:30.860 Squat

00:37:31.600 You know

00:37:32.360 Wears a 38

00:37:33.100 38

00:37:33.440 Pant

00:37:33.880 Absolutely

00:37:35.660 Dude

00:37:36.160 All shoulder

00:37:36.920 She's the

00:37:37.420 She rules

00:37:38.240 Yeah

00:37:38.600 She's so

00:37:39.140 She's like

00:37:39.960 Very

00:37:40.560 You want to talk

00:37:41.220 About a low

00:37:41.600 Center of gravity

00:37:42.340 You cannot move

00:37:43.260 This woman

00:37:43.740 Believe me

00:37:44.260 If she digs

00:37:44.720 Her heels in

00:37:45.340 And she

00:37:46.280 And she

00:37:47.320 Just like

00:37:47.980 Lived in the

00:37:49.000 Fucking

00:37:49.420 Like

00:37:49.780 East Baltimore

00:37:50.780 In the 90s

00:37:51.920 It was fucking

00:37:52.680 Brutal

00:37:53.260 And like

00:37:54.180 That was the first

00:37:55.200 Time I was ever

00:37:55.740 Scared of a neighbor

00:37:56.940 Because as a little

00:37:57.420 Kid you don't know

00:37:58.020 Anybody

00:37:58.220 It's not like

00:37:58.680 By the way

00:37:58.980 Greek town was not

00:37:59.760 Good

00:38:00.620 But we would

00:38:01.340 Go there

00:38:01.700 And be like

00:38:02.100 What the fuck

00:38:02.780 Is going on here

00:38:03.720 Like you know

00:38:04.540 Kids just playing

00:38:05.200 Like basketball

00:38:05.800 With like

00:38:06.320 Like

00:38:07.140 Legitimately not

00:38:08.340 Ball

00:38:08.600 Like with objects

00:38:09.620 Yeah like a

00:38:10.060 Yeah there would be

00:38:11.140 Kids playing with

00:38:11.920 Like a big orange

00:38:13.060 Yeah yeah yeah

00:38:14.240 And they draw the lines

00:38:15.360 Over the marker

00:38:15.920 Very large orange

00:38:17.820 You know

00:38:18.180 They peel out

00:38:19.080 You lose

00:38:19.660 You have to peel it

00:38:20.400 For the winner

00:38:20.800 And serve it to him

00:38:21.640 If you lose

00:38:24.640 You get scurvy

00:38:25.440 You don't have

00:38:26.340 You don't have

00:38:26.840 The correct vitamin C

00:38:28.000 It was the

00:38:28.680 The only orange

00:38:29.600 They you know

00:38:30.340 Live in a food desert

00:38:31.220 Of course

00:38:31.700 In the hood

00:38:32.180 So it's the only

00:38:33.120 Orange for miles

00:38:33.980 Yeah

00:38:34.260 So that's a

00:38:35.020 Covenant thing

00:38:36.440 But yeah

00:38:37.300 And it wasn't

00:38:38.200 Literally it was like

00:38:38.900 You know

00:38:39.200 Like not a real hoop

00:38:41.480 It's like one of those

00:38:42.140 Crates that you cut out

00:38:43.340 And I was just like

00:38:44.140 What the fuck

00:38:45.120 And we were not

00:38:46.680 It was the first time

00:38:47.620 I was like

00:38:47.840 What the fuck's going on here

00:38:48.860 And like

00:38:49.200 Why does she live here

00:38:50.320 Because I always thought

00:38:51.200 She was rich

00:38:51.920 Like in my head

00:38:53.020 I don't know

00:38:53.300 She just carried herself

00:38:54.280 Like a

00:38:54.760 You know

00:38:55.340 Rich woman I guess

00:38:56.280 And we would just go there

00:38:57.600 And just like

00:38:58.920 You know

00:38:59.900 Have

00:39:00.380 Watch the parade

00:39:01.600 Have a bunch of weird

00:39:02.760 Half Greek

00:39:03.740 Half American dishes

00:39:04.760 She made some weird

00:39:05.600 Mushroom rice

00:39:06.420 And just her sons

00:39:07.940 Would fuck us up

00:39:08.760 You know

00:39:09.000 Like that rough housing

00:39:10.380 Of just like

00:39:11.060 If you're four

00:39:12.480 And some woman's got

00:39:14.020 Teenage sons

00:39:14.720 They are just

00:39:15.460 You know

00:39:16.540 Tossing you around

00:39:17.660 Slapping the fuck out of you

00:39:19.100 And being like

00:39:19.740 You're a bitch if you tell

00:39:20.820 And you're like

00:39:21.200 I'm not a bitch

00:39:22.040 Yeah

00:39:22.420 You're not a bitch

00:39:22.960 But you're in a neck brace

00:39:23.860 Yeah

00:39:24.100 And then you punch him

00:39:25.280 In the dick

00:39:25.740 That's the one move

00:39:26.800 Like a little kid has

00:39:27.920 When they're fighting

00:39:28.800 Like a teen

00:39:29.300 It's just the

00:39:29.880 The nice cock punch

00:39:31.180 Oh yeah

00:39:31.840 But that was

00:39:32.620 Our holidays were real

00:39:33.680 You know

00:39:34.080 And then Christmas was just

00:39:35.920 Did they have a Santa

00:39:37.160 Would you ever do a

00:39:37.940 Greek Santa

00:39:38.780 Oh yeah

00:39:38.940 Not a Greek

00:39:39.680 Yeah Greek Santa

00:39:40.520 Or a Baltimore Santa

00:39:41.420 Tell me what you want

00:39:42.280 Yeah

00:39:42.580 Harry

00:39:43.080 You know

00:39:44.160 Over here

00:39:44.660 Ooh

00:39:44.900 Beautiful girl

00:39:46.200 Come here

00:39:46.860 Santa

00:39:47.600 Greek Santa's like

00:39:49.320 The 16 year old hostess

00:39:50.780 At the diner's like

00:39:51.540 You tell me

00:39:52.280 I tell you what you want

00:39:53.320 No problem

00:39:53.840 Come here

00:39:54.440 I have

00:39:55.080 I have for you

00:39:56.180 You not tell my wife

00:39:57.460 Miss Claus don't need to know

00:39:59.340 Yeah

00:40:01.120 Greek Santa

00:40:02.060 All the kids get a

00:40:03.000 Handful of feta

00:40:03.860 From his pockets

00:40:04.680 It's like

00:40:05.680 Reach inside

00:40:06.620 Not too deep

00:40:07.500 Do not reach deeper

00:40:09.100 Everybody have to have feta

00:40:11.480 Yeah

00:40:15.740 But we waited

00:40:16.460 We waited in line

00:40:17.280 To see

00:40:17.720 Y'all did

00:40:18.220 Santa Claus

00:40:18.720 Yeah

00:40:18.900 I loved all that shit

00:40:19.880 I loved all that

00:40:20.860 Whimsical American shit

00:40:22.080 Cause

00:40:22.300 That's the other thing

00:40:23.340 Greek people do

00:40:24.760 Christmas is actually

00:40:26.080 Not a big deal

00:40:26.640 New Year's

00:40:27.340 Is when you gave

00:40:27.880 Gave presents

00:40:28.640 Ooh yeah

00:40:29.120 But my

00:40:29.460 They tried that

00:40:30.760 We were like

00:40:31.280 Look motherfucker

00:40:32.700 You moved to America

00:40:34.000 I'm getting my shit

00:40:35.340 On

00:40:35.480 Let's party

00:40:35.960 I'm getting my shit

00:40:36.880 On December 25

00:40:37.780 Yeah

00:40:38.320 Maybe even the 24th

00:40:39.820 But yeah

00:40:40.380 We were just

00:40:40.960 Yeah

00:40:41.540 I'm trying to think

00:40:42.540 What they had in our town

00:40:43.620 If we were to go see a Santa

00:40:44.880 Did you have a little hootenanny

00:40:45.900 They had a dude

00:40:46.640 Yeah they used to have

00:40:47.440 This place

00:40:47.900 It was like

00:40:48.560 Secondary bread

00:40:50.200 Or something

00:40:50.600 You ever seen

00:40:51.260 One of them shops

00:40:52.040 Where it's like

00:40:52.580 You go get the bread

00:40:53.860 But they should have sold it

00:40:55.220 Yes

00:40:55.940 The other day

00:40:56.880 Sure

00:40:57.400 Yeah

00:40:57.800 Soup kitchens

00:40:59.820 Your mom's like

00:41:02.740 We're going to a store

00:41:03.720 Theo

00:41:04.160 It's all bread in there

00:41:06.600 But they'd have a dude

00:41:09.040 Over there

00:41:09.560 He would pull up

00:41:10.500 This kind of

00:41:11.040 Cajun Santa

00:41:12.000 And he'd be like

00:41:13.920 What do you want

00:41:14.620 That boy

00:41:15.260 You know

00:41:15.740 Yeah

00:41:16.060 Come on

00:41:16.780 Thin on Santa

00:41:17.460 We're going to get you a boy

00:41:20.260 Yeah

00:41:22.280 Cajun Santa

00:41:22.940 You want a lisp

00:41:24.520 Like he

00:41:26.420 He gave out the length

00:41:27.980 I'm like

00:41:28.380 He gives out lisps

00:41:31.560 It's like

00:41:32.580 You have ailments

00:41:33.860 From Cajun Santa

00:41:34.860 You got a cleft lip now boy

00:41:36.780 You going to wake up

00:41:38.040 Without your front tooth

00:41:39.260 You want a little cleft palate

00:41:41.700 From Santa

00:41:42.300 Yeah

00:41:43.020 Your left leg

00:41:44.160 Is going to be

00:41:44.780 Two inches longer

00:41:45.700 Than your right leg

00:41:46.700 From now on

00:41:47.360 Let me see if I got

00:41:48.220 A little polio

00:41:49.120 In my sack

00:41:49.900 For you there boy

00:41:51.120 Let me get something

00:41:53.480 That'll slow you down

00:41:54.700 In the thwomp

00:41:55.520 The friendship

00:41:59.100 Of an alligator

00:42:00.000 He just

00:42:00.940 Gives you mystical presence

00:42:02.420 There will be one gator

00:42:04.460 He'll be your friend

00:42:05.220 But there'll be three gators

00:42:06.120 Be your enemy

00:42:06.880 He would be like

00:42:08.900 Let me hold your hand

00:42:09.780 And together

00:42:10.380 We'll pray for your dead twin

00:42:11.960 That was never born

00:42:13.140 I'm like

00:42:14.080 Dead twin

00:42:14.960 His eyes roll back

00:42:16.760 In his head

00:42:17.240 He's like

00:42:17.720 Tell mommy

00:42:18.900 Todd's gonna get her next

00:42:21.060 Oh that tumor

00:42:24.560 At Santa Rio

00:42:25.320 For one day

00:42:26.000 For Santa

00:42:26.440 Oh I need gumbo

00:42:28.300 Quick get him some gumbo

00:42:31.040 So he can tell the future

00:42:32.300 Oh man

00:42:37.780 Get that boy

00:42:39.400 Crawl dad

00:42:40.140 Somebody get

00:42:40.720 Yeah let him suck

00:42:41.560 On a head

00:42:42.240 Yeah

00:42:43.540 Somebody let him

00:42:44.300 Suck on a head

00:42:45.160 So keep his

00:42:45.780 Quick

00:42:45.960 His power

00:42:47.300 Keep his energy

00:42:48.260 Yeah

00:42:48.620 That's his present too

00:42:51.260 It's like

00:42:51.620 Crawl dad

00:42:52.220 You didn't suck on

00:42:53.000 To completion

00:42:53.640 I left a little

00:42:54.800 Head on the meat

00:42:55.480 Little meat on the head

00:42:56.720 There for you boy

00:42:57.440 You've been a good boy

00:42:59.000 I got you a hot

00:43:00.160 Warm oyster

00:43:00.920 Out of my pocket

00:43:01.760 Let me give you

00:43:03.740 A warm oyster

00:43:04.500 And a couple

00:43:04.940 Narcan tablets

00:43:06.080 Welcome to New Orleans

00:43:08.400 Baby

00:43:08.860 This here's

00:43:11.800 Lil Wayne's

00:43:12.500 Boxer shorts

00:43:13.340 From when he was

00:43:16.600 In the hot boys

00:43:17.300 Yeah

00:43:17.600 Yeah we got a picture

00:43:18.680 Of Lil Wayne's

00:43:19.360 Boxer

00:43:19.980 Short

00:43:20.400 Police investigating

00:43:23.120 Viral photo

00:43:24.100 Taken at mall

00:43:24.740 Louisiana

00:43:25.240 Santa

00:43:26.280 Cash and gun

00:43:27.400 Let's see what

00:43:27.980 Happened here

00:43:28.480 There they go

00:43:29.100 That's fucking sick

00:43:30.460 Oh yeah

00:43:31.000 That's some dude

00:43:31.620 Oh that's a great

00:43:32.720 Pig

00:43:33.060 And what the article

00:43:34.180 Says there brother

00:43:35.080 I hope the police

00:43:36.500 Are searching them

00:43:37.420 To give them the

00:43:37.960 Key to the city

00:43:38.640 Baton Rouge

00:43:39.960 Photo showing

00:43:40.520 Two men posing

00:43:41.280 With stacks of

00:43:41.940 Cash and a handgun

00:43:43.080 Alongside a mall

00:43:44.080 Santa

00:43:44.520 That's a fucking

00:43:46.300 Sick look dude

00:43:47.060 And look at Santa

00:43:47.640 He's doing a dab dude

00:43:49.220 That's awesome

00:43:49.840 He's a couple

00:43:50.940 Dances behind

00:43:51.760 That's

00:43:52.560 Him trying to

00:43:54.500 Catch on to

00:43:55.440 Black culture

00:43:56.040 Yeah dude

00:43:56.440 Dab came after

00:43:57.100 The Dougie bro

00:43:57.860 Get it together

00:43:58.560 One of the

00:44:00.640 One of the men

00:44:01.620 Seen in the photo

00:44:02.240 Is 29 year old

00:44:03.220 Almanzo Paul

00:44:04.540 Almanzo

00:44:05.280 Is such a sick name

00:44:07.220 Oh it is

00:44:07.820 Just not

00:44:08.500 Nope

00:44:09.160 No not Alonzo

00:44:10.540 Almanzo

00:44:12.380 Throwing an extra

00:44:13.500 M in Alonzo

00:44:14.400 It's a power move

00:44:15.860 Almanzo

00:44:17.020 Dude yeah

00:44:18.900 I love it

00:44:19.480 Yeah

00:44:19.760 Was arrested Thursday

00:44:21.300 On an unrelated

00:44:21.940 Warrant out of Texas

00:44:22.880 Wow

00:44:23.600 So

00:44:23.860 Snitching

00:44:25.100 For having some

00:44:26.480 Christmas cheer

00:44:27.240 It's fucking illegal

00:44:28.640 To have a nice time

00:44:29.660 With Santa Claus now

00:44:30.540 I think it's the

00:44:31.040 9mm that got him

00:44:32.140 I thought this

00:44:33.720 I thought this was

00:44:34.720 America

00:44:35.200 That could be a Glock

00:44:36.220 Yeah

00:44:36.540 Times have changed

00:44:36.920 That's one of the

00:44:37.200 Most American

00:44:37.820 Christmas pictures

00:44:38.820 I've ever seen

00:44:39.480 What are you supposed

00:44:40.780 To do

00:44:41.000 Not go shopping

00:44:41.880 He's got money

00:44:42.700 Santa's at a mall

00:44:44.380 He's putting money

00:44:45.540 Back into the

00:44:46.100 Fucking economy

00:44:46.780 That's true

00:44:47.200 And he's protecting

00:44:48.000 Himself with his

00:44:48.600 Second amendment rights

00:44:49.540 Now did he get that

00:44:50.820 Strictly legally

00:44:51.560 Who's to say

00:44:52.460 Oh now we care about

00:44:54.260 Fucking red

00:44:54.960 Government red tape

00:44:56.140 Yeah

00:44:59.000 How do we know

00:44:59.540 We ain't a lifeguard

00:45:00.460 Bro

00:45:00.800 And we need more

00:45:04.120 Black lifeguards

00:45:04.860 We need more

00:45:05.480 Black lifeguards

00:45:06.160 Those pools get testy

00:45:07.720 Yeah

00:45:08.020 Let's just say this

00:45:09.140 We need more

00:45:11.020 Black lifeguards

00:45:12.200 Look at me

00:45:12.960 Biden

00:45:13.580 Somebody

00:45:15.740 Joe here's how

00:45:16.800 You're gonna win

00:45:17.460 Here's how you're

00:45:18.540 Gonna win the next year

00:45:19.460 More black lifeguards

00:45:20.820 Dude they should

00:45:21.840 What did I see

00:45:23.480 This morning

00:45:24.000 Oh Joe talking to

00:45:24.940 Some kid

00:45:25.280 Did they have

00:45:25.540 Another thing

00:45:26.140 With a kid

00:45:26.600 Up there

00:45:26.920 I feel

00:45:28.300 I'm at the point

00:45:28.980 With Biden

00:45:29.640 Just they

00:45:30.140 It's not

00:45:30.800 It feels like

00:45:31.620 They shouldn't

00:45:32.920 Do this to an old person

00:45:34.200 Dude it's fully

00:45:35.240 Elder abuse

00:45:35.980 That's what I feel like

00:45:36.680 And it feels like

00:45:38.200 It's almost like

00:45:38.700 They're trying to create

00:45:39.320 Stockholm syndrome

00:45:40.380 Within us

00:45:40.940 That we think

00:45:41.600 It's crazy

00:45:42.280 Like

00:45:42.560 Like if that were

00:45:43.940 My dad or grandpa

00:45:45.020 I would be like

00:45:45.620 Hey

00:45:45.880 Don't do this to him

00:45:47.440 Look how sad he looks

00:45:49.740 Holy fuck

00:45:54.860 He looks so fucking sad

00:45:56.820 Dude the other day

00:45:57.460 First of all

00:45:58.900 That looks like a guy

00:45:59.580 Wearing a Joe Biden mask

00:46:01.100 Somebody get that

00:46:02.440 Motherfucker

00:46:02.880 His dosage of

00:46:03.680 Fucking super Adderall

00:46:04.840 What the fuck

00:46:05.940 Dude they do

00:46:06.400 I do not want to

00:46:07.140 See him in public

00:46:07.920 Unless they've got him

00:46:08.700 Dosed with like

00:46:09.460 Whatever fucking

00:46:10.520 You know

00:46:11.780 Growth hormone

00:46:12.640 Whatever

00:46:13.060 Dude he is

00:46:14.600 How good

00:46:15.340 Whatever they give him

00:46:17.320 Must feel awesome

00:46:18.000 Uppers or peptides

00:46:18.840 You think

00:46:19.140 Whatever it is dude

00:46:20.140 Some kind of shit

00:46:21.000 We don't even know about

00:46:21.940 But yeah

00:46:22.840 The other day

00:46:23.240 He answered

00:46:23.600 There was some question

00:46:24.240 You see that video

00:46:24.760 He answered

00:46:25.140 Clarissa explains it all

00:46:26.800 Was his answer

00:46:27.360 Holy shit

00:46:28.840 That was when I was a child

00:46:30.740 That's awesome dude

00:46:32.380 That's 20 years ago

00:46:33.500 But yeah

00:46:33.840 He just smelled a kid

00:46:34.660 This morning

00:46:35.160 And he's like

00:46:35.800 How old are you

00:46:36.680 There's a new video

00:46:37.500 And he

00:46:37.800 He's like

00:46:38.800 Are you 17

00:46:39.460 And her brother goes

00:46:41.660 She's 6

00:46:43.260 Sorry old habits

00:46:46.860 Die hard

00:46:47.380 He's just clicking

00:46:48.320 He's got the kind of

00:46:49.220 Dementia where he's like

00:46:50.080 Now he's acting

00:46:51.300 Like he did in his 40s

00:46:52.340 And now

00:46:53.080 When he's riding that

00:46:54.040 Amtrak down to Delaware

00:46:55.160 Oh yeah

00:46:55.760 Cute woman sits next to him

00:46:57.340 On the fucking

00:46:58.580 Way ahead honey

00:46:59.460 Yeah yeah

00:47:00.360 You're 17 right

00:47:01.560 He knows the age of

00:47:03.600 Consent of all the states

00:47:04.600 The Amtrak passes

00:47:05.640 So he goes

00:47:06.340 New York Jersey

00:47:07.420 East town

00:47:08.360 Oh yeah

00:47:09.380 60th birthday

00:47:10.120 Is on September 10th

00:47:11.560 Stop the train

00:47:12.320 Right here conductor

00:47:13.140 Stop it for 12 minutes

00:47:15.440 Hey let's slow down

00:47:16.440 In Delaware

00:47:16.860 You know

00:47:17.260 I'm trying to meet a girl

00:47:18.240 He knows the safe havens

00:47:21.800 Yeah

00:47:22.080 The 16 year old

00:47:23.260 Say it's the age of

00:47:24.580 Oh you know

00:47:25.560 He was up there

00:47:26.140 Hey let me know

00:47:27.540 Before we reach the Potomac

00:47:28.620 You know

00:47:31.220 I got a

00:47:31.660 I got a telegram

00:47:32.500 A girl

00:47:33.000 Charging the resurface

00:47:34.400 Of Biden

00:47:34.740 Ask 6 year old girl

00:47:35.640 If she's 17

00:47:37.160 Dude

00:47:37.740 Is this

00:47:38.480 What does this guy

00:47:38.960 Want to be a comedian

00:47:39.740 It's funny though

00:47:40.600 To call him creepy

00:47:41.380 It's like

00:47:41.740 Alright guys

00:47:42.420 He's clearly losing his mind

00:47:44.320 That's what I don't like

00:47:45.040 Let's get

00:47:45.720 You know

00:47:46.280 Yeah I don't have

00:47:47.000 He doesn't have the faculties

00:47:48.500 To be a pedophile anymore

00:47:49.580 Right

00:47:49.940 That's the unfair part of it

00:47:51.620 Yeah

00:47:51.940 It's like

00:47:52.640 Cut down in his prime

00:47:54.640 Now that he's finally

00:47:55.860 Now that he's finally

00:47:56.640 Got all the power in the world

00:47:57.620 He's too seen

00:47:58.300 How to be a pedophile

00:47:59.500 It's heartbreaking

00:48:02.140 To those pedophiles dude

00:48:03.460 It's like

00:48:04.400 The fucking

00:48:04.820 The

00:48:05.740 Fuck

00:48:07.660 What's the

00:48:08.380 The old

00:48:08.880 The old sci-fi

00:48:10.540 Oh why don't you

00:48:11.520 Talking about

00:48:12.120 Twilight Zone

00:48:13.060 Black Mirror

00:48:13.500 Top of Twilight Zone

00:48:14.040 Yes Twilight Zone

00:48:14.740 Where the guy

00:48:15.220 Has all the time in the world

00:48:16.520 And his glasses break

00:48:17.740 And he can't read anymore

00:48:19.180 He's like

00:48:19.420 But there was time now

00:48:20.700 That's Biden now

00:48:21.980 He's like

00:48:22.500 But I'm the president now

00:48:24.140 I could go to Epstein's island

00:48:25.700 Yeah

00:48:26.280 And it's like

00:48:26.960 It's over

00:48:27.580 It's over

00:48:28.580 Sorry Joey

00:48:29.460 It's the rides are shut down

00:48:30.980 Yeah

00:48:31.400 Just a senile Joe Biden

00:48:36.680 Sadly walking through

00:48:38.440 An empty Epstein's island

00:48:40.200 He's like

00:48:41.240 What?

00:48:42.380 Now that I get in

00:48:43.640 It's fucking done

00:48:44.220 That was the ticket booth

00:48:45.340 Right there

00:48:46.060 He's just

00:48:47.280 Seeing a plaque

00:48:48.480 It was just like

00:48:49.120 Fucking

00:48:49.440 Bill Clinton smiling

00:48:50.900 Yeah

00:48:51.400 That's where I want

00:48:53.960 A stuffed

00:48:54.840 14 year old

00:48:56.400 That's where I want

00:49:00.220 A goldfish

00:49:01.000 That's what we called him

00:49:02.100 He was a Chinese boy

00:49:03.220 If you do the fucking

00:49:07.440 If you do the fucking

00:49:08.840 Skee ball

00:49:09.580 If you do

00:49:10.340 They have those

00:49:12.140 Disc tosses

00:49:12.960 But it's on a Chinese boy's penis

00:49:14.300 You gotta get it on

00:49:15.180 It's high difficulty

00:49:18.560 Let's just say

00:49:22.420 High difficulty

00:49:23.800 Wow

00:49:25.620 You're like

00:49:26.820 Man there's no way

00:49:27.520 To get this on there

00:49:28.540 You're like

00:49:29.280 Complaining to the guy

00:49:30.020 I saw Bill Gates do it

00:49:31.360 He did it

00:49:32.920 He had a whole fucking

00:49:33.920 I saw Stephen Hawking

00:49:35.840 Build a robot

00:49:36.520 That could do it

00:49:37.260 Yeah

00:49:39.540 They're like

00:49:39.940 Dice Clay

00:49:40.700 Landed a smoke ring on it

00:49:42.280 Trump claimed it was fixed

00:49:44.820 He was like

00:49:45.840 I can do it

00:49:47.400 Dude I saw a pothole

00:49:50.900 The other day

00:49:51.340 We went to the

00:49:52.000 University of Tennessee

00:49:52.600 Football game

00:49:53.200 And we saw a pothole

00:49:54.120 With just like

00:49:54.660 Smoke coming out of it

00:49:55.640 And it reminded me

00:49:56.760 Of Trump's hair dude

00:49:57.800 Yeah hell yeah

00:49:58.680 It was just like

00:49:59.380 That hot smoke

00:50:00.260 Kind of coming out

00:50:00.940 Absolutely

00:50:01.100 He's had some funny clips

00:50:02.900 Recently too

00:50:03.620 Yeah it's interesting dude

00:50:04.780 He feels like he's getting

00:50:05.700 A little senile too

00:50:06.900 Which I'm not against

00:50:08.160 Right

00:50:08.620 Because it's gonna get funny

00:50:09.640 Oh I think it'll really

00:50:10.900 Get funny if he gets in

00:50:12.020 I think

00:50:12.700 I don't know

00:50:14.580 I just

00:50:15.140 I am so sick

00:50:16.960 That we're stuck

00:50:17.740 In this two parties

00:50:18.700 We are trapped

00:50:20.740 In the two party system

00:50:21.880 You're trapped forever

00:50:22.980 It's obvious

00:50:24.240 That we're trapped

00:50:24.920 I think humans

00:50:25.940 Are starting to realize

00:50:26.800 Like there's no more

00:50:28.360 You can't do it anymore

00:50:30.020 To people

00:50:30.440 At some point

00:50:31.140 We're gonna have to

00:50:31.780 Break out

00:50:32.300 You'd hope so

00:50:33.380 I don't know

00:50:33.760 I mean it's true

00:50:34.480 That it's like

00:50:35.020 None of these options

00:50:36.320 Are good

00:50:36.660 Where it's like

00:50:37.160 You see

00:50:38.280 Like on polling

00:50:40.380 Like the little stuff

00:50:41.940 That I pay attention to

00:50:42.700 It's like

00:50:43.040 When you ask people

00:50:44.380 Generic Democrat

00:50:46.040 Versus Trump

00:50:46.940 Generic Democrat wins

00:50:48.100 And you ask them

00:50:48.940 Generic Republican

00:50:49.900 Versus Biden

00:50:50.800 Generic Republican wins

00:50:52.360 It's like

00:50:52.580 They just don't want

00:50:53.300 These guys

00:50:53.660 Nobody wants these guys

00:50:54.880 And it's like

00:50:55.440 Democrats have nobody

00:50:57.220 They have no

00:50:58.100 Like Kamala Harris

00:50:59.000 Has no sauce whatsoever

00:51:00.620 They're not even

00:51:01.020 Making a plan though

00:51:01.980 That's what

00:51:02.340 That's the part

00:51:02.980 I don't understand

00:51:03.600 Like what could

00:51:04.720 Their strategy be

00:51:05.720 They can't

00:51:07.080 Have Joe Biden

00:51:07.720 Run again

00:51:08.080 I don't think

00:51:08.580 It's because

00:51:09.420 It's just not

00:51:10.080 Going to be

00:51:10.680 To me it just

00:51:11.860 Gets to the point

00:51:12.520 Where it's like

00:51:13.140 That's the part

00:51:14.500 That to me

00:51:15.400 Makes me sad

00:51:16.360 It's like

00:51:16.740 Can we stop

00:51:17.800 Doing this to this guy

00:51:19.080 Like it's just not fair

00:51:20.320 Let him eat some ice cream

00:51:21.520 Right

00:51:21.760 Bring in Kamala

00:51:22.540 Bring somebody else

00:51:23.520 In his stead right now

00:51:24.580 That at least is

00:51:25.360 Somebody who's viable

00:51:27.040 Right

00:51:27.360 For all intents and purposes

00:51:29.140 We should consider him dead

00:51:30.600 Like he's not

00:51:32.040 He's technically breathing

00:51:33.920 Yeah

00:51:34.340 But like for all intents and purposes

00:51:35.800 The guy's gotta

00:51:37.140 You know

00:51:37.580 Like let him fucking retire

00:51:39.680 Let him hang out

00:51:40.540 Let him retire dude

00:51:41.080 He's had a whole nice career

00:51:42.860 Of being a fucking

00:51:43.700 You know

00:51:44.360 One of the most

00:51:45.060 Lucky guys of all time

00:51:46.860 But

00:51:47.640 I don't know dude

00:51:48.740 But his son died

00:51:49.700 You know

00:51:50.120 Yeah

00:51:50.460 His son died

00:51:51.400 He was in a union fire

00:51:53.820 Or

00:51:54.120 He was doing something

00:51:55.500 He was in the merchant marines

00:51:56.680 He was

00:51:57.040 On the top of Kilimanjaro

00:51:58.700 And his son passed away

00:51:59.960 Fell into a black school district

00:52:01.420 And died at the hands of

00:52:04.460 Narcan and local gunfire

00:52:06.120 I believe that's what

00:52:06.580 It was either that

00:52:07.200 Or brain cancer

00:52:07.760 I can't tell

00:52:08.480 I would think it was that though

00:52:09.640 He might have been

00:52:10.420 I think he drowned

00:52:11.000 At the Audubon Zoo

00:52:11.980 Somewhere

00:52:13.920 Outside of Cincinnati

00:52:15.220 When Joe Burrow threw him

00:52:17.620 To a pass over the middle

00:52:18.600 Yeah

00:52:18.980 Yeah

00:52:19.460 He hung him out to dry

00:52:20.740 And Al Wilson

00:52:21.380 Al Wilson hit him

00:52:21.820 Yeah

00:52:22.280 Yeah

00:52:22.840 You hate to see that man

00:52:24.620 God I remember it

00:52:25.420 Like it was yesterday

00:52:26.080 Yeah dude

00:52:26.520 I remember it

00:52:28.200 Like it was tomorrow

00:52:28.840 Yeah dude

00:52:31.180 But everything's kind of

00:52:32.020 Becoming a little bit

00:52:32.660 Of like a farce

00:52:33.480 Like um

00:52:34.200 Oh did you see

00:52:35.640 Uh

00:52:36.420 And thanks so much

00:52:38.100 For being here man

00:52:38.720 Dude of course

00:52:39.200 This is like the funnest

00:52:39.460 Conversation I've had

00:52:40.120 In a long time

00:52:40.660 Yeah

00:52:40.840 And congrats to you

00:52:41.980 Your episode was like

00:52:42.580 One of my most watched ones

00:52:43.840 Oh hell yeah

00:52:44.160 I mean it was so fucking fun

00:52:45.480 People love you

00:52:46.540 So fun

00:52:46.600 Thanks man

00:52:47.280 Yeah

00:52:47.540 No this is so sick

00:52:48.680 Thanks for letting me

00:52:50.140 Fucking promote the special

00:52:51.220 Go watch that motherfuckers

00:52:53.200 Uh

00:52:53.720 Fat Rascal

00:52:55.200 Out

00:52:55.980 I think now or next week

00:52:57.300 Or whenever

00:52:57.620 Whenever this comes out

00:52:58.520 But yeah

00:52:58.800 Do you feel a responsibility

00:52:59.980 To stay fit kind of

00:53:01.580 Um

00:53:02.760 Yeah

00:53:03.280 You know what

00:53:04.000 I do

00:53:04.460 Every time like a famously

00:53:05.900 Fat person loses weight

00:53:07.180 It does feel like a betrayal

00:53:08.400 I will admit that

00:53:09.480 Uh

00:53:10.240 But I think

00:53:10.880 I could lose 100 pounds

00:53:12.740 And still be

00:53:14.060 Generally thick

00:53:15.580 You know what I mean

00:53:16.540 So it's like

00:53:17.260 I just want

00:53:18.260 I want to trim it down

00:53:19.860 A little bit

00:53:20.360 I want to get a little

00:53:21.100 I want to get it

00:53:22.360 Uh

00:53:22.780 You know

00:53:23.140 Going a little bit

00:53:23.800 But

00:53:24.020 Yeah I can never be a skinny guy

00:53:25.880 Like you see

00:53:26.400 Like Fat Joe

00:53:27.120 Literally

00:53:27.440 The man's name is Fat Joe

00:53:28.660 He's zamped up right now

00:53:30.240 Oh yeah

00:53:30.720 He is fucking

00:53:31.560 His humongous head

00:53:33.000 Skinny

00:53:34.020 You can't be skinny man

00:53:35.140 You can't take the Ozempic that far

00:53:37.180 Get it

00:53:37.840 Adjust your dose

00:53:38.860 Have a little

00:53:39.340 Have some chicharosa

00:53:40.240 And fucking

00:53:41.280 Stay

00:53:41.920 You know

00:53:42.480 Big arms

00:53:43.760 Little titties

00:53:44.400 That's my dream

00:53:45.100 Just

00:53:45.800 I just want little titties

00:53:46.960 I don't want them to go away

00:53:47.980 Yeah

00:53:48.220 Oh yeah

00:53:49.180 No I would like

00:53:51.940 Little arms

00:53:52.400 Big titties

00:53:53.040 On a gas

00:53:53.900 Oh you know what

00:53:54.420 Not even little arms

00:53:55.160 Big arms

00:53:55.840 Little titties

00:53:56.580 This is a fucking move though

00:53:58.120 On a woman

00:53:59.680 Yeah

00:54:00.080 Yeah

00:54:00.440 I've seen some hot

00:54:01.300 Big armed little titties

00:54:02.280 Ladies

00:54:02.600 Big armed little titties

00:54:04.120 Baby that's somebody

00:54:04.880 Raising a mountain

00:54:05.640 On a mountain

00:54:06.000 Yes

00:54:06.360 Yes

00:54:06.840 Yeah

00:54:07.420 Climbing up

00:54:08.640 Somebody gotta go uphill

00:54:09.760 Pull themselves up a lot

00:54:10.960 Absolutely thick

00:54:11.900 Very very like

00:54:13.300 The tips of their fingers

00:54:14.940 Basically Albanian soup fingers

00:54:16.540 Albanian soup stirrers

00:54:20.180 Thick knuckles

00:54:23.760 You know what I mean

00:54:24.420 Maybe bales of hay

00:54:26.000 Yeah

00:54:26.320 That type

00:54:26.780 That style of bitch

00:54:28.140 Although I have not

00:54:29.540 I haven't tangled with too many country girls

00:54:31.660 I'm open to it

00:54:32.520 But it's just never

00:54:33.540 You know

00:54:34.260 I'm not around them I guess

00:54:35.620 I'd love a southern

00:54:36.880 I'd love to hear a southern accent

00:54:38.480 While

00:54:39.520 You know

00:54:40.380 Busting

00:54:40.820 Would be cool

00:54:41.740 I'm sure you've done your fair

00:54:43.100 Hey

00:54:43.500 Yeah

00:54:44.060 Oh my gosh

00:54:44.980 Oh my gosh

00:54:45.680 Oh my gosh

00:54:46.540 Roll tide

00:54:47.260 Yeah

00:54:47.540 Somebody said

00:54:50.540 One of my friends said

00:54:51.520 That he fucked a girl

00:54:52.320 From the south

00:54:52.980 And she said

00:54:53.360 She was fixing to cum

00:54:54.940 Oh yeah

00:54:55.720 That sounds

00:54:56.480 I would love to hear that

00:54:57.800 Fixing to cum

00:54:58.580 Fixing to cum

00:54:59.540 I would be like

00:55:00.820 That's awesome

00:55:01.580 Take your time

00:55:03.340 Cause what it would do

00:55:04.680 Yeah

00:55:05.060 What it would do for me

00:55:06.040 Was I would hear

00:55:06.960 Fixing to cum

00:55:07.800 And I would both

00:55:08.940 Get the rush of a woman

00:55:10.080 Saying she's about to cum

00:55:11.000 But just that phrase

00:55:12.560 Would make me

00:55:13.120 In my head

00:55:13.680 Smell biscuits

00:55:14.480 And think about biscuits

00:55:15.620 And think about other

00:55:16.820 Like southern traditions

00:55:17.960 And I think it would be

00:55:19.300 A very powerful

00:55:20.720 You're fixing to cum

00:55:21.800 I'll have a couple of

00:55:23.220 Scoops of to cum

00:55:24.360 Yeah

00:55:24.780 If you're fixing it

00:55:26.720 If you're fixing to cum

00:55:28.000 Well I've never had to cum

00:55:29.420 Yeah

00:55:29.680 Put some cheese on it

00:55:30.820 Maybe I'll have a little of it

00:55:32.040 Yeah

00:55:32.440 Not much you know

00:55:33.600 Yeah

00:55:34.080 Alright we ate a little bit ago

00:55:35.960 Have you ever been fat at all

00:55:38.320 In your life

00:55:38.920 I had a couple months

00:55:40.260 Where I was fat

00:55:41.100 Something happened

00:55:41.880 I don't remember

00:55:42.440 Interesting

00:55:42.760 What ages are we talking about

00:55:44.140 Oh I got in a wheelchair

00:55:45.040 Ooh

00:55:46.040 Fuck for what

00:55:47.120 I got in a wheelchair

00:55:48.160 Dude I got my appendix

00:55:49.160 Taken out

00:55:49.800 I was running the bases

00:55:51.860 I was doing baseball

00:55:52.880 Oh shit

00:55:53.680 Right

00:55:54.000 As a youth or recently

00:55:54.880 Burst or whatever

00:55:55.600 As a child

00:55:56.240 Oh my god

00:55:56.900 And our coach

00:55:58.140 Right

00:55:58.460 It was like

00:55:59.080 Just some guy

00:55:59.960 He was just so fat

00:56:01.260 He just hated gay people

00:56:02.520 Right

00:56:02.980 That can happen

00:56:04.840 Oh yeah dude

00:56:05.940 He would like

00:56:06.540 If your brain gets so fat

00:56:09.440 It cuts off the empathy part

00:56:10.940 Of your brain

00:56:11.400 So anybody different than you

00:56:12.800 You want to just fucking

00:56:13.680 You know

00:56:14.480 You want to kill them

00:56:15.380 Absolutely

00:56:15.780 Yeah yeah

00:56:16.320 And he would like

00:56:17.280 Try to point to a base

00:56:18.340 And he couldn't even

00:56:18.900 He was always like

00:56:20.800 He has to do a full body point

00:56:22.160 He was like a duck

00:56:24.400 He was like

00:56:24.840 John McCain duck hunting

00:56:26.360 You know

00:56:26.680 He just

00:56:27.100 He just fucking

00:56:28.840 Go ahead

00:56:29.520 Make my day

00:56:30.520 John McCain

00:56:31.660 Try to fucking

00:56:32.240 Just do it at

00:56:32.800 Four degrees or under

00:56:34.020 Yeah

00:56:35.000 Yeah

00:56:35.400 Having to do like

00:56:36.260 Glute bridges

00:56:37.000 To raise the gun

00:56:38.800 So that was crazy dude

00:56:43.100 I think

00:56:43.640 So your shit popped

00:56:44.680 And the fat guy

00:56:45.840 So I'm shut down

00:56:46.540 Between second and third

00:56:48.080 Right

00:56:48.360 Oh my god

00:56:49.080 And he's screaming

00:56:50.020 At me to go

00:56:50.600 And I'm like

00:56:51.140 Cannot even

00:56:52.000 I'm going to die

00:56:53.060 Move

00:56:53.400 I am going to die

00:56:54.860 Holy shit

00:56:55.520 I'm like crawling

00:56:55.940 Towards third base

00:56:57.220 And our field

00:56:58.820 Was kind of downhill

00:56:59.680 It all went into

00:57:00.400 The right field

00:57:01.060 So I'm crawling

00:57:02.060 So I'm crawling

00:57:03.500 The uphill way

00:57:04.280 At a slight

00:57:04.620 Oh yeah

00:57:05.080 A slight angle up

00:57:06.080 Oh half of our hits

00:57:07.160 Went to the right field

00:57:08.060 And uh

00:57:09.740 Cause it was a pretty

00:57:11.300 Hard gradient out there

00:57:12.420 And so I'm going

00:57:14.500 Uphill dude

00:57:15.360 It was like Iwo Jima

00:57:16.540 You know

00:57:17.840 Yeah

00:57:18.740 And I've got

00:57:19.660 Yeah

00:57:19.960 We got like sepsis

00:57:21.180 Or something

00:57:21.600 And they took me

00:57:22.080 To the hospital

00:57:22.720 And uh

00:57:23.340 So then I was in

00:57:24.100 A wheelchair for a while

00:57:24.900 And I put

00:57:25.240 Some of the medications

00:57:26.460 They made

00:57:26.840 Maybe putting a little

00:57:27.520 Bit of weight

00:57:28.020 So I had a lot

00:57:29.080 Of water retention

00:57:30.000 Sure

00:57:30.480 A little puffy

00:57:31.120 Yeah and I think

00:57:31.860 I thought I was going

00:57:32.400 To die

00:57:32.780 So I just wanted

00:57:33.280 To eat as much

00:57:33.900 As I could

00:57:34.360 Of course

00:57:34.420 A little pie

00:57:34.980 On the way out

00:57:35.620 Oh

00:57:36.060 At that age

00:57:37.080 Croissants

00:57:37.740 Cobbler

00:57:38.740 Oh yeah

00:57:39.740 We didn't have

00:57:40.160 Croissants

00:57:40.580 In our area

00:57:41.140 I don't think

00:57:41.440 No

00:57:41.720 Not even with

00:57:42.560 The French

00:57:43.100 Cajun

00:57:45.020 Kind of

00:57:46.420 Beignets

00:57:47.340 Nothing

00:57:47.800 Sausage

00:57:48.620 We had a lot

00:57:48.960 Of roadside sausage

00:57:50.060 What's the strangest

00:57:51.660 Sausage

00:57:52.140 You have

00:57:53.600 Armadillo sausage

00:57:54.580 No I've had

00:57:56.200 What's something

00:57:57.460 That I've had

00:57:57.900 That's pretty wild

00:57:58.440 I've had dove

00:57:59.120 You know I've seen

00:57:59.660 A couple brothers

00:58:00.340 A couple brothers

00:58:01.840 Grill up a dove

00:58:02.600 Outside of our

00:58:03.120 Apartment complex

00:58:04.020 How do you know

00:58:05.340 It was a dove

00:58:05.980 Huh

00:58:06.300 How do you know

00:58:07.020 It was a dove

00:58:07.600 They said hey

00:58:08.480 Homie want some dove

00:58:09.320 You want some dove

00:58:10.100 And I turned them

00:58:10.740 Down most of the time

00:58:11.500 Finally I had a little

00:58:12.480 Absolutely

00:58:12.980 It's not bad

00:58:13.540 But you have to

00:58:13.840 Talk to them

00:58:14.300 For a while

00:58:14.720 Right

00:58:15.080 But they're nice

00:58:15.780 But they're

00:58:16.240 Good guys

00:58:16.760 They're just too old

00:58:17.440 To be talking to a child

00:58:18.400 Sure

00:58:18.860 Especially for eating

00:58:22.920 A damn church meat

00:58:23.720 Of course

00:58:24.340 Of course

00:58:24.800 What do you think

00:58:25.440 Do you think

00:58:25.960 They wait in trees

00:58:26.820 Above weddings

00:58:27.540 They release them

00:58:29.880 You just see some

00:58:31.700 Fat black guy

00:58:32.340 Jump out of a tree

00:58:33.420 We got him

00:58:34.560 Have you seen that dove

00:58:36.540 They throw at that

00:58:37.100 At the funeral

00:58:37.880 No

00:58:38.660 Oh yeah

00:58:39.260 And it gets got

00:58:39.880 By a hawk

00:58:40.500 Or whatever

00:58:40.800 No the one

00:58:41.300 That just

00:58:41.700 That's a funny one

00:58:43.920 Where they do that thing

00:58:44.680 Where it's like

00:58:45.040 We'll release his soul

00:58:46.240 And literally a hawk

00:58:48.500 Comes and fucking takes

00:58:49.980 And just kills the dove

00:58:51.320 And everyone's like

00:58:52.140 Oh

00:58:52.800 Everyone's like

00:58:53.980 Fuck

00:58:54.380 Our grandfather's

00:58:55.540 Going to hell

00:58:56.260 Pull that up man

00:58:59.080 Pull up brother dove

00:59:00.300 Release death

00:59:01.960 Pull it if you can man

00:59:05.660 Brother dove

00:59:06.320 I think a roadside brother

00:59:07.920 Peace bird

00:59:11.620 Deceased

00:59:13.660 See what you got

00:59:14.540 Please type that exact phrase

00:59:16.880 There you go

00:59:17.340 That's it right there

00:59:18.420 You want to put them on

00:59:20.620 For a second stat

00:59:21.100 Oh yeah

00:59:22.060 And my brothers

00:59:25.540 I heard David said

00:59:27.600 Just the other day

00:59:28.540 Oh if I have wings

00:59:30.820 Like this dove

00:59:32.160 For then will I fly away

00:59:34.560 And be at rest

00:59:36.440 Damn boy

00:59:45.420 That's dinner boy

00:59:46.880 And be at rest

00:59:47.840 That's church dinner

00:59:48.840 Yeah

00:59:49.860 Nothing wrong with that

00:59:51.100 I would eat it

00:59:51.820 I would eat it

00:59:52.260 I would eat most birds

00:59:53.420 I would say

00:59:54.060 Panda you think you'd eat it

00:59:56.260 Good question

00:59:58.440 I mean they're sedentary animals

00:59:59.940 They're pretty fat

01:00:00.900 Wouldn't be tough meat

01:00:02.940 It would be

01:00:03.520 You'd think it'd be marbled

01:00:04.660 Kind of

01:00:04.900 Marbled

01:00:05.260 I mean people talk about

01:00:06.820 Rogan talks about eating bear

01:00:08.140 I feel like I see clips

01:00:09.200 Of him talking about

01:00:11.200 Eating bear a lot

01:00:12.200 Really

01:00:12.580 Or he's had guests on

01:00:13.420 That have eaten bear

01:00:14.100 Yeah pandas is a Chinese bear

01:00:16.520 A little Szechuan sauce

01:00:18.040 On that fucker

01:00:18.680 I mean dude

01:00:19.160 You put something

01:00:19.800 Look at that bitch right there

01:00:20.920 You wouldn't fucking have a

01:00:21.940 China could send you

01:00:23.220 Pandas to US

01:00:23.760 As envoys of friendship

01:00:24.660 Okay

01:00:25.120 Dude pan seared

01:00:26.440 I would take that

01:00:27.740 I would take a big bear

01:00:28.880 Can you

01:00:29.840 Search

01:00:30.520 Can you eat panda

01:00:31.680 Yeah

01:00:32.420 Yeah

01:00:32.860 Cause I've seen a picture

01:00:34.200 Of a bear steak

01:00:34.920 That's

01:00:35.200 Got me thinking

01:00:36.760 I might

01:00:37.580 Bear

01:00:38.240 It'd be so

01:00:38.800 How

01:00:40.880 How does giant panda meat

01:00:42.460 Taste terrible apparently

01:00:43.740 In 1983

01:00:45.080 A Chinese villager

01:00:46.500 And you knew

01:00:47.280 They'll fucking eat anything

01:00:48.420 Lang Zizong

01:00:49.200 Named Lang Zizong

01:00:50.780 Great name

01:00:51.360 Tried for illegally

01:00:52.180 Killing a giant panda

01:00:53.160 He told the judge

01:00:53.700 That his wife

01:00:54.080 Cooked the meat

01:00:54.600 With turnips

01:00:55.260 But they didn't enjoy it

01:00:56.860 So he fed some

01:00:57.720 To his pigs

01:00:58.360 And gave the remainder

01:00:59.120 To his sister

01:01:00.020 Damn

01:01:01.360 Just a couple

01:01:02.340 The sister

01:01:03.320 Catching strays

01:01:04.240 Who was Albanian

01:01:05.180 Probably

01:01:05.660 Damn yeah

01:01:08.900 I tried to feed it

01:01:09.820 To my pigs

01:01:10.440 But they were

01:01:11.400 Too sophisticated

01:01:12.100 So I gave it

01:01:12.880 To my fat

01:01:13.580 Whore sister

01:01:14.400 Hey Marjorie

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01:04:43.100 Dude did you see

01:04:44.700 These two

01:04:45.240 Did you see

01:04:46.060 This is how just

01:04:46.800 Weird the world

01:04:47.560 Is getting

01:04:47.820 Stopped

01:04:48.200 Is like

01:04:48.440 Did you see

01:04:49.220 The two

01:04:49.720 There was

01:04:50.220 I think Mullins

01:04:51.500 Was the guy's name

01:04:52.360 In the

01:04:52.660 The senator

01:04:55.200 What was this

01:04:57.000 This was

01:04:58.040 I think this was

01:04:58.920 Yesterday or two days ago

01:05:00.540 Republican Senator

01:05:01.620 Mark Wayne Mullin

01:05:02.740 Challenged Teamsters

01:05:03.960 President Sean O'Brien

01:05:05.080 To fight during

01:05:05.940 A senate hearing

01:05:06.580 Rising from his seat

01:05:07.880 Before the committee chair

01:05:08.820 Stepped in to diffuse

01:05:09.920 The confrontation

01:05:10.440 This is pretty

01:05:11.660 Interesting

01:05:12.260 The senator

01:05:13.400 Challenged him to a fight

01:05:15.600 Yeah it's just crazy

01:05:16.600 That like this is

01:05:17.280 Where we're at

01:05:17.760 I know dude

01:05:18.480 Yeah let's play it

01:05:20.500 Now let's talk about

01:05:21.500 Mr. O'Brien himself

01:05:22.740 His behavior

01:05:23.320 As everybody knows

01:05:24.300 And it's here

01:05:24.620 And the last time

01:05:25.280 Him and I

01:05:26.000 Kind of had a

01:05:26.460 Back and forth

01:05:27.200 Appreciate your

01:05:28.220 Demeanor today

01:05:28.800 It's quite different

01:05:29.580 But after you left here

01:05:30.980 You got pretty excited

01:05:31.920 About the keyboard

01:05:32.620 In fact you

01:05:33.640 Tweeted at me

01:05:35.940 One

01:05:37.320 Two

01:05:38.100 Oh come on dude

01:05:39.100 Three

01:05:39.400 Four

01:05:40.080 Five times

01:05:41.960 And let me read

01:05:42.560 What the last one said

01:05:43.540 Quit the tough guy act

01:05:46.120 And these senate hearings

01:05:47.340 You know where to find me

01:05:48.780 Any place

01:05:49.940 Any time

01:05:50.900 Cowboy

01:05:51.560 Sir this is a time

01:05:54.240 This is a place

01:05:55.000 No it's not

01:05:55.900 Dickhead

01:05:56.320 You're in the fucking senate

01:05:57.400 Okay that's fine

01:06:00.080 Perfect

01:06:00.540 You wanna do it now

01:06:01.460 I'd love to do it right now

01:06:02.560 Get his ass Bernie

01:06:14.400 Can I respond

01:06:15.280 Hold it

01:06:16.100 Get his ass Bernie

01:06:17.680 This is a hearing

01:06:19.180 God knows

01:06:20.720 The American people

01:06:21.540 Have enough contempt

01:06:22.620 For congress

01:06:23.680 Let's not make it worse

01:06:24.780 I don't like you

01:06:27.380 Cause you just

01:06:27.980 Described yourself

01:06:28.880 Hold it

01:06:30.340 You have the mic

01:06:31.420 You have time

01:06:32.240 Make your statement

01:06:33.240 Then let's do this

01:06:34.100 Because I did challenge you

01:06:35.300 And I accepted your challenge

01:06:36.460 And you went quiet

01:06:38.560 No I didn't go quiet

01:06:39.820 I was

01:06:40.100 Hold on

01:06:40.640 You challenged me

01:06:41.980 To a cage match

01:06:43.020 Acting like a 12 year old

01:06:44.460 Screw y'all bully

01:06:45.260 Excuse me

01:06:45.880 Hold it

01:06:46.420 No excuse me

01:06:47.100 I will say

01:06:47.820 I will say

01:06:48.380 Senator Mullen

01:06:49.200 I have the mic

01:06:49.880 You have questions

01:06:51.300 On any economic issues

01:06:52.620 Anything you can go through

01:06:53.760 We're not here

01:06:54.920 To talk about physical abuse

01:06:56.640 That's good man

01:06:58.440 That's fucking crazy

01:06:59.660 Meanwhile that guy

01:07:00.440 Has two Uvalde moms

01:07:02.160 Sitting behind him

01:07:03.140 Like so sad

01:07:04.980 About what happened

01:07:05.480 To their kids

01:07:05.960 And that's what

01:07:06.440 They're doing

01:07:07.000 Dude that's insane

01:07:08.060 The senator's talking

01:07:09.080 About being

01:07:09.500 Your bitch made

01:07:10.620 No you're bitch made

01:07:11.740 Yeah and he's 3-0

01:07:12.740 Mark Wayne

01:07:13.340 What'd he fight in

01:07:14.440 Uh huh

01:07:15.640 Probably I would guess

01:07:16.540 A unitard

01:07:17.280 Oh yeah MMA

01:07:18.800 He played

01:07:19.240 Yeah in a unitard

01:07:20.700 You think he had

01:07:21.460 The under giant

01:07:22.200 With the one

01:07:23.080 Yeah

01:07:23.700 With the one shoulder

01:07:24.520 He's out of

01:07:25.160 Westville Oklahoma

01:07:25.820 Wow so he was

01:07:26.980 Maybe semi pro

01:07:28.000 Interesting

01:07:28.640 Um did he have

01:07:29.520 A nickname though

01:07:30.220 That would be his best

01:07:31.180 Does he have his

01:07:31.780 Hmm

01:07:32.540 The senator

01:07:34.980 What if his nickname

01:07:35.700 Was the senator

01:07:36.580 Mark Wayne

01:07:37.480 Big government

01:07:38.080 I like that

01:07:38.900 Big government

01:07:39.480 Mark Wayne

01:07:40.600 You have two names

01:07:41.300 Oh he beat

01:07:41.880 Clinton Bonds

01:07:42.860 Oh Clinton Bonds

01:07:43.660 He beat him twice

01:07:44.260 He fought Bobby Kelly

01:07:45.560 He fought Bobby Kelly

01:07:47.260 Dude stop fucking

01:07:48.760 Hitting me dude

01:07:49.780 What the fuck

01:07:51.140 He lured

01:07:53.300 That's awesome

01:07:58.000 But it's just

01:07:58.800 That's weird man

01:07:59.560 Where it's getting now

01:08:00.640 Yeah

01:08:00.940 Is that

01:08:01.320 Absolutely

01:08:01.820 It's like

01:08:02.100 That's how we're gonna

01:08:03.300 Raise money for their

01:08:04.420 For their

01:08:04.900 For their county or whatever

01:08:06.680 Yeah

01:08:06.940 Cause they're like

01:08:07.620 Yeah he's cool

01:08:08.440 They're gonna do a fight

01:08:09.460 Versus an OnlyFans model

01:08:10.820 And that's where the

01:08:12.320 Funding is gonna

01:08:13.000 It's like

01:08:13.440 Yeah

01:08:13.760 The government is dead man

01:08:15.520 It's like

01:08:16.180 It's

01:08:17.540 I know

01:08:18.660 It just feels like

01:08:19.980 It's

01:08:20.400 The tech is the

01:08:21.700 Government now

01:08:22.340 Yeah it's

01:08:23.420 Everything is so

01:08:24.260 Privatized

01:08:25.060 Which is an issue

01:08:25.740 I mean like

01:08:26.260 I'm not

01:08:26.860 I don't think

01:08:27.460 Government is good

01:08:28.500 But I just think

01:08:29.280 You can't trust

01:08:29.980 Business

01:08:30.660 Like it's the thing

01:08:31.400 It's like

01:08:31.700 Like

01:08:32.360 I don't

01:08:33.420 I don't trust

01:08:34.120 The government

01:08:34.420 But I trust them

01:08:35.360 We have slightly

01:08:37.100 More direct control

01:08:38.120 Over the government

01:08:38.680 Than we do

01:08:39.220 Just rich people

01:08:40.660 That can do

01:08:41.000 Whatever the fuck

01:08:41.580 They want

01:08:41.960 And that's what's scary

01:08:43.060 Is like

01:08:43.440 Tech

01:08:43.920 Like you're saying

01:08:44.820 By default

01:08:46.000 Kind of controls our lives

01:08:47.500 And it's like

01:08:48.400 You know

01:08:48.700 It starts out fine

01:08:50.080 But like we were just

01:08:50.640 Talking about it

01:08:51.080 It's like

01:08:51.300 We've made our living

01:08:52.580 Honestly a big part on

01:08:54.100 With tech companies

01:08:55.060 YouTube's fucking Google

01:08:56.720 They're one of the biggest

01:08:57.540 Fucking tech companies

01:08:58.420 In the world

01:08:58.760 Instagram

01:08:59.440 Meta

01:09:00.080 Whatever you want to say

01:09:00.900 And now everything's fine

01:09:02.500 But it's like

01:09:02.940 These motherfuckers

01:09:03.780 Can decide tomorrow

01:09:04.880 That they can just

01:09:05.980 They don't want us

01:09:06.500 Yeah

01:09:06.700 You know what I mean

01:09:07.200 This guy's voice

01:09:07.760 We don't need it

01:09:08.400 It's not part of a bigger

01:09:09.300 If there's a

01:09:09.760 Say like if those

01:09:10.620 Companies get together

01:09:11.500 What's our goals

01:09:12.380 For the next five years

01:09:13.520 Yeah

01:09:13.780 Okay we gotta weed

01:09:14.720 Some of these people out

01:09:15.680 Yeah

01:09:15.940 You know it's like

01:09:17.060 But you're right in that

01:09:18.080 Like

01:09:18.480 It's true

01:09:19.160 And it's scary in that

01:09:20.340 Like yeah

01:09:20.740 There's no

01:09:22.180 People didn't ever

01:09:23.400 Respect the government

01:09:24.260 I mean

01:09:24.860 Or you know

01:09:25.640 They did

01:09:26.020 It was a position

01:09:26.860 Of power or whatever

01:09:27.640 But it's like

01:09:28.240 That's what happens

01:09:29.700 When you don't get money

01:09:30.740 When it's so clear

01:09:32.240 That these motherfuckers

01:09:33.460 Are bought and paid for

01:09:34.420 That you don't

01:09:35.300 Respect them anymore

01:09:36.360 And so then it becomes

01:09:37.600 Not who do I trust

01:09:39.920 To like take care

01:09:40.960 Of my district

01:09:41.520 But who's cool

01:09:42.800 And it becomes

01:09:43.880 A fucking weird

01:09:44.700 Popularity contest

01:09:45.680 And you get a guy

01:09:47.020 Who'll probably be like

01:09:48.240 I'm not a pussy

01:09:49.520 I challenge some

01:09:50.800 Fucking dork to a fight

01:09:52.180 Yeah

01:09:52.480 And then some

01:09:52.980 Fucking morons

01:09:53.980 Will be like

01:09:54.420 That's my fucking guy

01:09:55.900 Or like

01:09:56.760 What's her face

01:09:57.300 Jacking off that guy

01:09:58.360 At Beetlejuice

01:09:59.100 Like that was the

01:10:00.220 Coolest thing she's ever done

01:10:01.440 Oh I didn't see that

01:10:02.200 Lauren Bober

01:10:02.760 She jacked

01:10:03.460 She over the pants

01:10:04.420 Jacked her date

01:10:05.720 First date

01:10:06.360 I don't agree

01:10:07.600 With her politics

01:10:08.180 But I do agree

01:10:08.980 With her stance

01:10:09.740 As a date

01:10:10.600 Yeah

01:10:10.960 Her date etiquette

01:10:12.660 Is awesome

01:10:13.200 Yeah especially

01:10:13.900 In a movie theater

01:10:14.560 And it was a packed

01:10:15.300 Movie theater

01:10:15.840 Yeah yeah yeah

01:10:16.680 I remember seeing that

01:10:17.440 I was like

01:10:17.760 Wow there's other people

01:10:18.980 Right there

01:10:19.520 And it's like

01:10:20.420 It's the Trump effect

01:10:21.280 Of like

01:10:21.620 Yeah the guy's

01:10:22.240 Entertaining

01:10:22.980 Yeah

01:10:23.520 The guy's

01:10:24.000 Fucking entertaining

01:10:24.780 Well and at this point

01:10:25.700 That's what I think

01:10:26.280 Some people are saying

01:10:26.900 This government

01:10:28.040 Is a

01:10:28.440 I think we've entered

01:10:29.760 Kind of like

01:10:30.240 A privatized communism

01:10:31.500 That's what it feels like

01:10:32.440 Right

01:10:32.680 And I don't know

01:10:33.320 If communism is the right word

01:10:34.400 But it's like

01:10:34.860 A privatized

01:10:36.520 Like yeah

01:10:38.080 Our leaders

01:10:38.640 Like tech is the new

01:10:39.580 Fossil fuel

01:10:40.220 I used to say that

01:10:40.940 Years ago

01:10:41.380 It's like

01:10:41.700 That's the leaders

01:10:43.140 Now

01:10:43.360 It's like whoever

01:10:43.940 Like

01:10:44.880 Yeah we can be

01:10:45.900 Shut down in a heartbeat

01:10:46.900 Because somebody

01:10:47.680 Doesn't like our voice

01:10:48.640 Or somebody doesn't like

01:10:49.340 What we say

01:10:49.980 Or our direction

01:10:50.860 Or whatever it is

01:10:51.920 And

01:10:52.880 So those are the leaders

01:10:54.560 Those are the masters

01:10:55.400 And you kind of

01:10:56.200 Need a government

01:10:56.960 But it's like

01:10:57.580 Now the government

01:10:58.380 Is just being used

01:10:59.140 As this

01:10:59.680 Shell company

01:11:00.940 To kind of like

01:11:01.800 That everybody's

01:11:02.700 Masquerading behind

01:11:03.860 You know

01:11:04.280 And also to funnel

01:11:05.400 Our funds

01:11:05.960 Into whatever they want

01:11:06.960 Totally

01:11:07.480 I mean

01:11:07.920 Yeah it's like

01:11:08.960 I wouldn't say communism

01:11:09.800 I would say like

01:11:10.360 It's kind of like

01:11:10.860 A fucking oligarchy

01:11:12.540 Which is like

01:11:13.040 The few control everything

01:11:15.000 Okay that's better

01:11:15.820 Which is like

01:11:16.600 They're not redistributing

01:11:18.200 Fucking shit

01:11:19.080 Yeah

01:11:19.320 Like that's the other thing dude

01:11:20.320 It's like

01:11:20.520 We don't even want that much

01:11:21.820 Like at this point

01:11:22.800 I'm just like

01:11:23.460 Dude

01:11:24.240 You want to

01:11:25.100 You want your pedophile

01:11:26.440 Like Tim Dillon has that point

01:11:27.640 Where it's like

01:11:28.220 Just go

01:11:28.980 You know

01:11:29.400 Go on your pedophile

01:11:30.920 I'll just do whatever

01:11:31.520 But it's like

01:11:31.920 Could we have some healthcare

01:11:32.900 Like could we have

01:11:34.020 Could we have the bear

01:11:35.060 Like before

01:11:36.180 So I have a neck brace

01:11:37.060 So at least when the pedophile

01:11:38.220 At least when the pedophile story breaks

01:11:40.600 I can sit up

01:11:41.520 And look at my television

01:11:42.620 Yeah yeah yeah

01:11:43.320 You know

01:11:43.700 But it's

01:11:44.140 That's the thing

01:11:44.680 It's like

01:11:44.920 It's not like

01:11:45.780 40 years ago

01:11:47.260 The rich

01:11:48.180 Didn't have better lives

01:11:49.740 Than all of us

01:11:50.380 And the government

01:11:51.020 Didn't use their

01:11:52.000 You know

01:11:52.540 Senators didn't

01:11:53.320 You know

01:11:53.540 The Kennedys were using

01:11:54.660 State police

01:11:55.280 To ferry

01:11:55.900 18 year olds

01:11:57.180 From Boston

01:11:57.780 In and out of

01:11:58.320 Bring them beer

01:11:59.220 And like

01:11:59.600 The powerful

01:12:00.900 The powerful

01:12:00.920 Whatever you want to say

01:12:02.940 Like they are going to have

01:12:04.060 More privileges than us

01:12:04.920 And that's something

01:12:05.300 We can work on long term

01:12:06.400 To get rid of

01:12:07.000 But like

01:12:07.800 Now it's like

01:12:08.860 They are sucking people dry

01:12:10.460 Completely

01:12:11.600 Yeah

01:12:11.940 And it's like

01:12:12.780 They don't care anymore

01:12:13.720 Everyone

01:12:14.200 Like all these senators

01:12:15.400 Are like insider trading

01:12:16.400 Inequality is so fucking crazy

01:12:18.460 Where it's like

01:12:19.340 Normal people cannot

01:12:20.680 Pay their fucking bills at all

01:12:22.600 And it's like

01:12:23.160 And then you have like

01:12:24.760 Scapegoat issues

01:12:25.560 The playbook is always like

01:12:27.420 Let's turn people against each other

01:12:29.340 Whether that's like

01:12:30.120 You know

01:12:30.860 Big

01:12:31.180 Like you know

01:12:32.340 Blacks and whites

01:12:33.420 Blacks and rays

01:12:34.280 Gays and russians

01:12:34.980 Trans

01:12:35.340 All this fucking

01:12:36.000 Yeah it's like

01:12:36.780 That's always the playbook

01:12:38.420 Where it's like

01:12:39.260 That doesn't fucking

01:12:40.260 Really

01:12:40.860 If everybody had their shit

01:12:42.140 If everybody just had

01:12:43.760 Healthcare

01:12:44.560 They had a job that paid well

01:12:46.520 They didn't have to worry about

01:12:48.140 Like you know

01:12:48.720 If an emergency happens

01:12:50.340 Am I going to fucking be out on the street

01:12:51.940 Oh yeah

01:12:52.380 If people had blood pressure medicine

01:12:53.700 They wouldn't say the n word

01:12:54.720 I think

01:12:55.140 Absolutely

01:12:56.900 You know what I'm saying

01:12:57.780 Absolutely dude

01:12:59.280 But sometimes your blood pressure is so high

01:13:00.820 You get over 180 dude

01:13:02.800 You gotta drop at least a soft A

01:13:04.520 I mean you gotta

01:13:05.080 You gotta fucking let some steam off the top

01:13:07.540 They prescribe that

01:13:08.740 You go to certain

01:13:09.440 You're a certain first aid

01:13:10.740 Or emergency room

01:13:12.620 They give you a bag

01:13:13.440 You know we can hear it

01:13:14.300 Just straight into this please

01:13:15.620 And a muffler

01:13:16.200 A silencer

01:13:17.000 It's like

01:13:18.400 It's a megaphone

01:13:19.220 But it's like

01:13:19.720 Like a gun silencer

01:13:21.460 You're like

01:13:22.100 Go ahead sir

01:13:22.620 Shout it into that

01:13:23.480 And it just comes out so quiet

01:13:25.460 Beep

01:13:27.240 And it actually registers

01:13:29.880 Like a

01:13:30.340 A dog hears it

01:13:32.120 Yeah

01:13:33.560 It tells your blood pressure

01:13:34.860 At the same time

01:13:35.600 Yeah

01:13:35.880 So if you do hit a certain blood pressure

01:13:38.860 You're like

01:13:39.080 Well it's allowed

01:13:39.720 Or it comes out in Morse code

01:13:41.180 You say it

01:13:42.040 It's like

01:13:42.260 Beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep

01:13:43.160 Dude

01:13:45.320 Yeah

01:13:45.600 There was some story about a guy

01:13:46.940 Who was like

01:13:47.360 Morse

01:13:47.760 Like who was

01:13:48.320 Doing braille

01:13:49.320 The n word

01:13:49.820 All over the place

01:13:50.740 And people were

01:13:51.620 Fucking reading it

01:13:53.000 I think that was

01:13:55.560 In outside of Philadelphia

01:13:56.540 Oh man

01:13:58.520 That is

01:13:59.060 I gotta admit

01:14:00.180 That's pretty good

01:14:01.040 I don't like

01:14:03.920 N word

01:14:04.520 Vandalism

01:14:05.440 But it's a

01:14:06.440 It's a pretty hilarious

01:14:07.400 And especially if you're blind

01:14:08.120 You only see black anyway

01:14:09.240 So just to be able to

01:14:10.200 Fucking

01:14:10.540 Pull it up with the run

01:14:12.460 Of a finger here

01:14:13.240 There's gotta be

01:14:14.060 It has to make you giggle

01:14:15.180 And I think blind people

01:14:16.040 Deserve to laugh

01:14:17.120 That's a good point

01:14:17.960 Blind people deserve to laugh

01:14:18.760 More than anyone

01:14:19.280 That's a

01:14:19.820 That's a very good point

01:14:21.380 Thanks man

01:14:21.680 And if

01:14:22.040 Putting a couple

01:14:23.140 End bumps

01:14:24.000 On Chipotle tables

01:14:26.460 Is gonna do it

01:14:27.260 If carving a couple

01:14:28.460 End bumps

01:14:29.060 At a TJ Maxx

01:14:30.400 Then that's our healthcare

01:14:31.380 That's the closest

01:14:33.160 We're getting to healthcare

01:14:34.200 Yeah I know dude

01:14:35.520 It's tough not to be like

01:14:37.040 Like almost like nihilistic

01:14:39.460 Where the shit's just

01:14:40.300 Not gonna get better

01:14:41.220 Where you're like

01:14:41.880 It just feels like

01:14:43.440 They're gonna

01:14:44.600 They're gonna suck

01:14:45.940 People dry so much

01:14:47.140 And I just don't

01:14:48.160 See any representation

01:14:49.400 Of like

01:14:50.360 What a lot of

01:14:51.840 I mean it would have to be

01:14:52.740 Like a youth movement

01:14:54.020 I think

01:14:54.440 But

01:14:54.780 Right

01:14:55.060 Of like young people

01:14:56.380 Just having

01:14:57.160 Enough of this shit

01:14:58.340 And like

01:14:58.940 Cause old people

01:15:00.200 Are just gonna stay conservative

01:15:01.520 That's how it goes

01:15:02.720 Traditionally

01:15:03.660 And I just think like

01:15:05.140 I don't know man

01:15:06.160 You just gotta

01:15:06.640 Shit has to get

01:15:07.720 Shaken up

01:15:08.460 And we just need

01:15:09.200 Just basic shit

01:15:11.160 I mean you saw

01:15:11.760 Obviously I was a big Bernie guy

01:15:13.080 And there was a big outpouring

01:15:14.440 Of like

01:15:14.940 Like

01:15:16.100 Trump and Bernie

01:15:17.560 It's not a

01:15:18.100 It's not a coincidence

01:15:18.820 That two

01:15:19.780 Kind of outside

01:15:20.880 Different things

01:15:22.160 Really registered with people

01:15:23.600 At that time

01:15:23.820 I wish they had a ran together

01:15:24.780 Yeah

01:15:25.540 I really do

01:15:26.520 Because I think

01:15:27.440 Because I think

01:15:27.460 Then you have

01:15:28.300 Yeah

01:15:28.700 Where the two

01:15:29.620 Where if one of them

01:15:30.140 Gets vice

01:15:30.720 One of them gets president

01:15:31.420 They have to compete

01:15:32.540 They have to work

01:15:33.680 Really work together

01:15:34.740 Yeah

01:15:35.040 Instead of just working

01:15:35.840 With some guy you picked

01:15:36.800 Yeah

01:15:37.080 You have to work

01:15:38.020 With the other side's guy

01:15:39.380 I know what you mean

01:15:40.140 But there's no way

01:15:40.840 Like those guys were so

01:15:42.120 Apart on so much shit

01:15:43.900 But I know what you mean

01:15:44.580 Like

01:15:44.800 But as a person

01:15:46.920 Yeah

01:15:47.300 An American would have been

01:15:48.140 Like oh

01:15:48.620 This is what I need

01:15:49.840 I think that actually

01:15:51.340 Would have resonated

01:15:52.240 With people

01:15:52.740 Just because it's like

01:15:53.920 You know

01:15:55.060 They were saying

01:15:55.900 Some

01:15:56.260 I mean obviously

01:15:57.280 Their solutions

01:15:57.840 Were very different

01:15:58.700 Yeah

01:15:59.120 But like

01:15:59.520 They were saying

01:16:00.760 Similar stuff about like

01:16:01.820 This shit is just not

01:16:03.360 You know

01:16:03.700 I don't know that

01:16:04.500 Trump was talking about

01:16:05.000 Inequality obviously

01:16:06.040 But like

01:16:06.500 They just felt like

01:16:07.440 Outsiders in a way

01:16:08.460 Trump was saying

01:16:09.220 More general stuff

01:16:09.960 Bernie's message

01:16:10.520 Was I think

01:16:10.900 Way more like

01:16:11.640 You know

01:16:12.160 Economically focused

01:16:13.580 And redistributive

01:16:14.420 But like

01:16:14.960 Yeah

01:16:15.620 Everyone just wanted

01:16:16.780 Something new

01:16:17.560 At that time

01:16:19.100 And we didn't get it

01:16:20.940 And we've doubled down

01:16:21.800 On like

01:16:22.420 And then ultimately

01:16:23.200 I think Trump

01:16:23.700 Got into office

01:16:24.260 And it was like

01:16:24.820 A pretty run of the mill

01:16:26.340 He didn't really do

01:16:27.860 Anything crazy

01:16:28.500 You know

01:16:28.860 Anything like

01:16:29.600 He didn't really

01:16:29.960 Shake shit up too much

01:16:31.100 And then you get

01:16:32.220 Biden who's the most

01:16:33.340 Like

01:16:33.680 You know

01:16:35.260 It's been the same shit

01:16:36.540 Again

01:16:36.880 Over and over again

01:16:37.420 Right

01:16:37.540 That's what everybody's

01:16:38.300 Realizing I think

01:16:39.000 Is kind of no matter

01:16:39.700 Where it goes

01:16:40.360 Yeah

01:16:40.860 And that's what thing

01:16:41.720 It's like

01:16:42.220 I think that's

01:16:43.680 Where people are at

01:16:44.220 It's like

01:16:44.620 Is this salvageable

01:16:46.040 Or is America

01:16:46.680 Just this experiment

01:16:47.580 Of freedom

01:16:48.260 That didn't pan out

01:16:50.200 Right

01:16:50.740 Yeah

01:16:51.200 You know what I'm saying

01:16:51.760 Like

01:16:51.960 Are we realizing

01:16:53.920 That this is how

01:16:54.660 Capitalism falls

01:16:55.600 Because a lot of it

01:16:56.300 Is really greed

01:16:56.880 I think there should be

01:16:57.840 A cap on how much

01:16:59.160 Money you can make

01:16:59.820 As a human

01:17:00.300 Dude I fully agree

01:17:01.760 I think like

01:17:02.360 When you look at

01:17:03.420 How many

01:17:03.980 What like

01:17:04.920 Big projects

01:17:05.880 Happened in America

01:17:07.100 Like

01:17:07.440 When we got out

01:17:08.620 Of the depression

01:17:09.060 All this stuff

01:17:09.580 It's like

01:17:09.860 After a certain amount

01:17:11.040 Of money

01:17:11.540 You got taxed

01:17:12.760 At 90%

01:17:13.440 And it's like

01:17:14.480 I know that sounds

01:17:15.360 Crazy

01:17:15.880 But it's like

01:17:16.440 When you have

01:17:17.480 When you're making

01:17:18.300 A hundred million

01:17:19.900 Dollars a year

01:17:21.000 Do you really need

01:17:22.280 A hundred ten

01:17:23.040 You know what I mean

01:17:24.080 Like is that

01:17:24.640 That ten million

01:17:25.720 Makes such a difference

01:17:26.940 To other people

01:17:27.700 And it's like

01:17:28.460 Nobody's saying

01:17:29.140 You can't be prosperous

01:17:30.100 And you can't make

01:17:30.760 A ton of money

01:17:31.360 And you can't do

01:17:32.280 Any of that shit

01:17:32.900 But it's like

01:17:33.460 Just also

01:17:35.040 Let's fucking

01:17:35.720 Take care of

01:17:36.580 The people that

01:17:38.120 You know

01:17:38.660 Because that money

01:17:39.620 Comes from somewhere

01:17:40.440 That's what pissed me off

01:17:41.440 It's like

01:17:41.760 Amazon made so much money

01:17:43.520 During the pandemic

01:17:44.260 I know

01:17:44.840 And it's like

01:17:45.360 That was people's money

01:17:47.000 Dude

01:17:47.320 That was like

01:17:47.760 People were

01:17:48.160 Yeah exactly

01:17:48.740 They

01:17:49.080 Businesses figure out a way

01:17:50.480 To like

01:17:51.340 Not

01:17:51.980 Never pay any fucking taxes

01:17:53.300 And

01:17:53.520 You have to be so rich

01:17:54.940 To figure that shit out

01:17:55.920 And it's like

01:17:56.660 You know

01:17:57.380 The people that get squeezed

01:17:58.560 The most are in the middle

01:17:59.560 It's classic stuff

01:18:00.500 It's people who

01:18:01.040 Work hard as fuck

01:18:02.300 But don't

01:18:03.480 You know

01:18:03.760 You make like

01:18:04.440 You have a family

01:18:05.340 Your taxes are fucking crazy

01:18:06.540 You're a small business owner

01:18:07.360 Your taxes are fucking crazy

01:18:08.560 Yeah

01:18:08.860 But if you make

01:18:09.340 40 million dollars

01:18:11.120 Somehow you don't pay any taxes

01:18:13.140 You know what I mean

01:18:13.720 It's

01:18:13.960 It's fucked

01:18:14.520 Yeah there's a lot of ways

01:18:15.140 For people to hide stuff

01:18:16.160 It's definitely tricky

01:18:17.500 You know

01:18:19.900 Yeah

01:18:20.340 And then

01:18:21.380 And then

01:18:22.600 The lie that

01:18:23.580 Oh that

01:18:24.140 Our tax money

01:18:25.020 That it's not

01:18:25.580 Like

01:18:26.360 The foreign aid thing

01:18:27.580 I think at a certain point

01:18:28.560 It's like

01:18:29.080 Oh totally

01:18:29.800 How you can

01:18:30.600 Fucking walk out of your house

01:18:32.420 And want to contribute

01:18:34.020 To America

01:18:34.740 Like you can only burn people

01:18:36.440 So much

01:18:37.220 Yeah

01:18:37.500 Before the like

01:18:38.200 You know what man

01:18:38.880 You win

01:18:39.380 Fine

01:18:39.800 Yeah right

01:18:40.380 I don't mean anything

01:18:41.440 Right right

01:18:42.240 No I agree

01:18:43.020 And it's

01:18:43.380 You can only do that

01:18:43.980 So much

01:18:44.380 To so many generations

01:18:45.160 And then

01:18:45.420 People see it happen

01:18:46.400 To their parents

01:18:47.020 They see it

01:18:47.600 You know

01:18:48.120 And it's like

01:18:49.400 We never protected

01:18:50.580 Americans' information

01:18:52.060 Like that's another thing

01:18:52.960 It's like

01:18:53.260 People's information

01:18:54.140 Just became

01:18:54.640 Backhanded deals

01:18:56.340 And bullshit

01:18:56.880 And everybody

01:18:57.420 Everybody's mother's

01:18:58.440 Getting fucking scammed

01:18:59.480 Or losing

01:18:59.920 It's like

01:19:00.540 We don't even

01:19:01.500 Your phone number

01:19:02.420 Is even protected

01:19:03.120 I get numbers

01:19:03.860 From some dude

01:19:04.680 Some guy

01:19:05.240 Some Argentinian guy

01:19:06.960 All the time

01:19:07.480 Telling me to fucking vote for him

01:19:08.740 I don't

01:19:09.220 Live in his country

01:19:10.480 I don't live in his country

01:19:13.140 And I can't understand

01:19:14.240 Half of what he's saying

01:19:15.060 But this fucking

01:19:17.200 He sounds hot

01:19:17.900 Yeah

01:19:18.260 Yeah

01:19:18.740 Some south of the border

01:19:21.540 It's just basic stuff man

01:19:23.000 So

01:19:23.340 Yeah no I agree

01:19:24.020 And it's

01:19:24.320 The information thing

01:19:25.140 Is really interesting too

01:19:25.780 Because it's like

01:19:26.280 Talking about how big tech

01:19:27.720 Like kind of controls everything

01:19:29.440 It's like

01:19:29.780 Why don't those motherfuckers

01:19:31.440 Pay us for our information

01:19:32.480 They've just taken

01:19:33.840 People

01:19:34.800 Basically

01:19:35.760 They're using us

01:19:36.600 As free

01:19:37.200 Lab rats

01:19:38.460 For all their shit

01:19:39.180 It's like

01:19:39.560 Why doesn't Google

01:19:40.520 Just pay everybody

01:19:41.680 Four thousand dollars a month

01:19:43.080 Yeah

01:19:43.400 Why not

01:19:43.960 They're making way more than that

01:19:45.560 Off every fucking human being

01:19:46.860 Why the fuck can't they

01:19:48.320 Provide

01:19:49.060 Like

01:19:49.300 Pay us for the fucking work

01:19:50.640 We're doing for you

01:19:51.360 And it's like

01:19:52.060 No one

01:19:52.540 And it's like

01:19:53.460 Yeah look

01:19:53.900 I'm at the point where

01:19:54.700 You're gonna steal my information

01:19:56.020 But instead of just like

01:19:57.440 You know

01:19:58.420 Instead of

01:19:59.240 Instead of just like

01:19:59.880 Opting in and that's that

01:20:01.000 It's like

01:20:01.300 Well fucking pay me for it

01:20:02.580 Right

01:20:02.820 You know what I mean

01:20:03.240 It's like

01:20:03.460 Great point

01:20:03.820 You know like

01:20:04.260 Pay us

01:20:04.640 If this is our world

01:20:06.020 And you're using us

01:20:07.320 To fucking

01:20:07.800 Test all your shit

01:20:09.220 And you're using us

01:20:09.840 To do all this shit

01:20:10.440 Pay people for that shit

01:20:11.980 And it's like

01:20:12.540 You know

01:20:13.240 I don't know

01:20:14.040 Maybe universal basic income

01:20:15.800 Is kind of

01:20:16.680 That's something

01:20:17.100 That's kind of interesting

01:20:17.840 It's like

01:20:18.120 If AI gets really crazy

01:20:19.400 It's like

01:20:19.860 Well

01:20:20.680 Let's

01:20:21.540 Let's

01:20:21.900 Have people have like a basis

01:20:23.920 Have all their basis covered

01:20:25.400 And then

01:20:25.780 Hey if they want

01:20:26.860 With that basic income

01:20:28.080 To just

01:20:28.480 Hang out all day

01:20:29.900 Be kind of poor

01:20:31.000 But have their

01:20:31.540 You know

01:20:31.980 Have all their needs met

01:20:33.520 And just paint and draw

01:20:34.780 And do whatever the fuck you want

01:20:35.940 It's just fucked up

01:20:37.040 That like

01:20:37.440 AI now

01:20:38.740 Now

01:20:39.400 They're like

01:20:40.040 How is

01:20:41.060 How did fucking

01:20:41.840 Computers become the thing

01:20:43.260 And machines became the thing

01:20:44.520 That does art

01:20:45.240 And humans are the ones

01:20:46.600 In fucking Amazon warehouses

01:20:47.980 Like shouldn't

01:20:49.240 Shouldn't

01:20:49.860 The robots be working

01:20:51.420 So we could paint

01:20:52.640 Why the fuck

01:20:53.620 How the fuck

01:20:54.300 How the fuck

01:20:54.920 Why the fuck

01:20:55.220 Do you type like

01:20:55.960 Superman with tits

01:20:58.580 And blonde hair

01:21:00.240 Into a computer

01:21:00.940 And the computer

01:21:01.840 Does it

01:21:02.460 And then it's like

01:21:03.320 But some guy's putting

01:21:04.320 A 16 hour shift

01:21:05.320 For no fucking money

01:21:06.300 Why aren't

01:21:07.100 Why aren't the robots

01:21:08.420 The fucking slaves

01:21:09.680 How are humans

01:21:10.720 The fucking slaves

01:21:11.760 Yeah

01:21:12.060 And we

01:21:12.560 Like that should

01:21:13.380 We should have lives of leisure

01:21:14.900 With the AI

01:21:15.440 It should be the coolest thing

01:21:16.420 Of all time

01:21:17.000 But that's not how it happens

01:21:18.260 We need to get some

01:21:18.680 Albanian robots

01:21:19.660 We need to get some

01:21:20.560 That don't know

01:21:21.340 You want them to be Albanian

01:21:23.360 Because they're not

01:21:23.760 Going to get smart

01:21:24.280 Like Skynet

01:21:24.980 They know their place

01:21:26.520 Dude it's

01:21:29.820 Well you see that

01:21:30.680 Chat GPT

01:21:31.580 It just

01:21:32.060 They just fired

01:21:33.500 Or the CEO

01:21:34.300 They

01:21:35.160 They did this whole

01:21:36.140 Facebook backhanded thing

01:21:37.720 Where some of them

01:21:38.600 Voted like

01:21:39.340 The Sam Altman guy

01:21:41.080 Got voted out

01:21:41.820 By his partners

01:21:42.620 Oh okay

01:21:43.220 It was like

01:21:43.960 Some Yiddish melee

01:21:44.920 And they all

01:21:45.520 In the middle of the night

01:21:47.900 They all fucking

01:21:48.620 Voted each other

01:21:49.360 Out of the shit

01:21:50.060 Yiddish melee

01:21:51.960 And

01:21:52.700 Interesting

01:21:55.500 Yeah I don't

01:21:56.780 I don't follow that shit

01:21:57.560 Too

01:21:57.840 Chat GPT shit

01:21:59.540 Too too closely

01:22:00.300 But yeah that was like

01:22:01.160 The first one

01:22:01.740 Chat maker

01:22:02.460 Chat GPT maker

01:22:03.600 Open AI

01:22:04.140 Fire's founder

01:22:05.080 Sam Altman

01:22:05.860 Interesting

01:22:06.340 Pushed its co-founder

01:22:07.380 And CEO Sam Altman

01:22:08.400 Pushed out

01:22:09.580 Its co-founder

01:22:10.440 And CEO Sam Altman

01:22:11.340 After a review

01:22:11.840 Found he was not

01:22:12.500 Consistently candid

01:22:13.500 In his communications

01:22:14.180 With the board of directors

01:22:15.420 What was he lying about

01:22:16.480 I wonder

01:22:16.820 I don't know

01:22:17.300 They don't get into that

01:22:18.300 It doesn't seem like

01:22:19.220 All that shit

01:22:20.340 Yeah

01:22:20.560 Who knows

01:22:21.600 This is Hit20

01:22:22.900 Who co-founded

01:22:23.820 Open AI about 8 years ago

01:22:24.820 With a handful of others

01:22:25.520 And the idea was to

01:22:26.800 Create a non-profit

01:22:27.440 Huh

01:22:28.360 Yeah

01:22:29.020 As you know

01:22:29.960 While Chat GPT

01:22:30.700 Became one of the most

01:22:31.400 Viral tech products

01:22:32.680 In

01:22:33.360 Scroll

01:22:34.720 Oh this is

01:22:39.400 This is a transcript

01:22:40.180 Of a podcast

01:22:40.860 Oh it is

01:22:41.500 Never mind

01:22:41.940 Yes

01:22:43.100 It's too much

01:22:43.740 But they voted him out

01:22:45.980 A girl came in

01:22:46.780 And now

01:22:47.160 Pull up a picture

01:22:48.220 Of these guys

01:22:48.880 Of the Chat GPT

01:22:50.540 Group

01:22:51.640 Founders

01:22:53.220 Yeah

01:22:53.440 Yeah let's see

01:22:54.200 I bet they're hot as shit

01:22:55.580 No

01:22:56.200 He's not that bad

01:22:58.500 He's not as bad looking

01:22:59.480 No no he's a handsome guy

01:23:00.360 Sam Altman's a pretty handsome guy

01:23:01.680 Look at

01:23:02.340 But there's a group of four of them

01:23:04.200 If you can see more

01:23:05.120 His eyes

01:23:06.040 I don't trust his eyes

01:23:07.120 They're sad

01:23:07.700 In a way that looks like

01:23:09.600 He wants revenge

01:23:10.440 Yeah he's not doing well

01:23:11.780 Oh there they are

01:23:12.220 Right there

01:23:12.640 Oh man

01:23:13.600 My man's mid hair transplant

01:23:14.980 Oh good

01:23:15.360 Zoom in on them

01:23:16.220 What the fuck is going on there

01:23:17.480 Zoom in on those dudes

01:23:18.320 Scoot over

01:23:20.540 So Sam Altman is the guy

01:23:24.280 In the back right

01:23:25.020 They in the middle of the night

01:23:27.340 The guy in

01:23:28.660 They voted him out

01:23:32.380 I believe

01:23:32.940 And the guy in the middle

01:23:34.340 The other guy was like

01:23:36.340 Only one bald guy is allowed

01:23:38.100 Only one guy with fucked up hair

01:23:39.540 And then the guy

01:23:40.300 The guy who ended up

01:23:41.140 Fucking them all somehow

01:23:42.020 I think is the guy

01:23:42.560 On the bottom right

01:23:43.240 Damn

01:23:43.660 I mean if your hairline's like that

01:23:45.240 You're a fucking

01:23:45.820 You're a menace

01:23:47.000 You want the world

01:23:48.840 You want to take back

01:23:49.840 What the world took from you

01:23:51.040 Which is that weird little

01:23:52.700 That weird little fuzz top

01:23:54.440 He's got

01:23:54.920 Oh yeah dude

01:23:56.620 Who's the piece of ass

01:23:58.500 I don't know

01:23:59.160 She is pretty though

01:24:00.200 She's dressed like

01:24:02.000 Elizabeth Holmes

01:24:03.000 Which you wouldn't want to do

01:24:04.360 If you're a tech person

01:24:06.080 Right

01:24:06.340 Remember that

01:24:06.800 Oh yeah

01:24:07.420 The blood girl

01:24:08.200 Hey this blood

01:24:09.120 Yeah

01:24:09.380 Put this blood

01:24:10.400 Put your blood in this

01:24:11.220 Xerox machine

01:24:12.240 Yeah

01:24:12.980 And it'll literally

01:24:14.620 Print out what your

01:24:15.880 What your blood type is

01:24:17.060 Like literally

01:24:17.640 People were

01:24:18.400 Dripping their blood

01:24:19.760 Into a glass

01:24:20.960 Xerox machine

01:24:21.720 Putting the lid down

01:24:22.800 And it would print out

01:24:24.060 If you needed vitamin D

01:24:25.160 Or not

01:24:25.320 That's how fucking

01:24:26.000 Stupid people are

01:24:26.860 This dude needs

01:24:27.500 Hat GPT dude

01:24:28.780 I'm gonna go ahead

01:24:31.280 And say that

01:24:31.700 What's that dude's name

01:24:32.620 Fuck all these creeps

01:24:35.260 Amen brother

01:24:36.540 Because at a certain point

01:24:37.700 People are just

01:24:38.260 Ruining society

01:24:39.480 Yeah

01:24:39.940 At a certain point

01:24:41.040 Why isn't there a politician

01:24:42.320 That's like

01:24:44.060 Hey

01:24:44.400 This shit that we're doing

01:24:46.820 Is ruining

01:24:47.440 Like our America

01:24:48.380 Why don't we get to vote

01:24:49.360 Like hey

01:24:49.800 This shit's ruining society

01:24:51.600 Yeah

01:24:52.060 We don't even feel

01:24:52.980 Like a person anymore

01:24:53.960 You feel like a victim

01:24:55.000 To your phone

01:24:55.800 You don't

01:24:56.600 Feel like there's no use

01:24:57.940 To you anymore

01:24:58.460 Like you're literally

01:24:58.940 Killing the spirits

01:25:00.160 Of people over time

01:25:02.400 Right

01:25:02.580 I totally agree

01:25:03.720 And it's like

01:25:04.980 And not to sound like a downer

01:25:07.340 I love life

01:25:08.080 I'm grateful to be alive

01:25:09.600 Absolutely

01:25:10.100 But I just feel like

01:25:11.440 There's more to our lives

01:25:13.180 And it can be a richer experience

01:25:15.100 If we don't let it

01:25:16.800 Get sucked away

01:25:17.740 By just

01:25:18.280 By technology

01:25:20.200 I don't know how you do it

01:25:21.380 But I bet people would vote

01:25:22.700 To say yeah

01:25:23.880 I kind of agree with you

01:25:24.940 I think they would

01:25:26.120 In the abstract

01:25:27.020 But in

01:25:27.700 Because I'm with you fully

01:25:28.880 Right

01:25:29.120 I have this discussion

01:25:29.920 With my friends all the time

01:25:30.760 Because I have friends

01:25:31.640 Who make good points

01:25:32.440 They're like

01:25:32.960 They're like

01:25:33.700 I mean

01:25:34.040 They're like

01:25:34.760 Look this is just how

01:25:35.780 Society is

01:25:37.320 Constantly technology

01:25:39.120 Is fucking

01:25:39.660 At least in our lifetime

01:25:40.620 Right

01:25:40.900 Like since the industrial revolution

01:25:42.520 It's like

01:25:42.940 Every fucking 30 years

01:25:44.420 Shit gets crazy

01:25:45.760 Right

01:25:46.020 Like

01:25:46.320 And I don't think

01:25:47.740 It's natural obviously

01:25:48.780 But it's like

01:25:49.400 A lot of the shit we do

01:25:50.920 Is not natural

01:25:51.700 Right

01:25:51.900 We're fucking podcasting

01:25:53.120 Right now

01:25:53.500 You know what I mean

01:25:54.160 Like they didn't have this

01:25:55.240 Man was not meant to podcast

01:25:57.060 You know what I mean

01:25:58.320 But

01:25:58.580 And so

01:25:59.600 On one hand

01:26:00.640 I'm like

01:26:00.980 Well look

01:26:01.320 Technology is always going to expand

01:26:02.760 People are always going to like

01:26:04.360 Relate in different ways

01:26:06.240 But

01:26:06.960 I do think

01:26:08.080 That we are getting to a point

01:26:09.380 Where it's like

01:26:10.020 This is getting so unnatural

01:26:12.160 Where it's like

01:26:13.240 I think we

01:26:13.880 And the only solution though

01:26:15.320 Is

01:26:15.620 To take a really

01:26:17.400 To take a really active

01:26:19.460 Like

01:26:20.520 Step

01:26:21.140 And say

01:26:21.560 I'm off my phone

01:26:22.540 This amount of time

01:26:23.740 Or regulate your phone use

01:26:25.120 Or like

01:26:25.600 Because people agree with us

01:26:27.220 I think

01:26:27.600 But then they're like

01:26:28.340 They're not going to stop looking at TikTok

01:26:29.400 Right

01:26:29.520 How can we do it

01:26:30.240 You know what I mean

01:26:30.740 It's like

01:26:30.980 It's almost like we are

01:26:32.500 It's like waking up

01:26:34.440 And realizing

01:26:34.860 Fuck I gotta go to rehab

01:26:35.980 But it's like

01:26:37.280 The entire world

01:26:38.740 Is fucking

01:26:39.300 Needs to go to rehab

01:26:40.000 Exactly

01:26:40.640 It's like

01:26:40.940 Runs on these systems

01:26:42.700 And it doesn't

01:26:43.460 It doesn't feel like

01:26:44.280 It's gonna go away

01:26:45.060 At any point

01:26:46.460 And I think the only

01:26:47.400 It's almost like

01:26:49.320 A privileged thing

01:26:50.260 Like

01:26:50.520 Look me and you

01:26:51.380 Could fucking go

01:26:52.040 Take a

01:26:52.480 Take a two months

01:26:53.400 In a cabin

01:26:53.960 And not be on our phones

01:26:55.460 We'd be okay

01:26:56.280 Yeah

01:26:56.660 We can fucking hire

01:26:57.640 You know like

01:26:58.120 I literally hire somebody

01:26:59.120 To post on Instagram

01:27:00.580 For me

01:27:00.820 Because I don't want to be on it

01:27:01.680 Right

01:27:01.940 Oh yeah

01:27:02.340 Because like

01:27:02.700 I would fucking go crazy

01:27:03.840 If I was

01:27:04.280 But like

01:27:04.660 A lot of people

01:27:05.740 Don't just

01:27:06.120 Like

01:27:06.560 We've backed people

01:27:08.020 Into a corner

01:27:08.440 Where it's like

01:27:08.800 So much of life

01:27:09.540 Happens online

01:27:10.220 That it's like

01:27:11.300 What the fuck

01:27:11.760 Are they really gonna do

01:27:12.620 You know what I mean

01:27:13.380 I wish it would be

01:27:14.300 You know one of my

01:27:14.920 Favorite times as a child

01:27:15.980 Like

01:27:16.400 Our family wasn't real close

01:27:17.760 And one of my favorite times

01:27:18.880 Was like

01:27:19.800 Sometimes the power

01:27:20.480 Would go out

01:27:21.100 Yeah

01:27:21.440 Dude get the candles out

01:27:22.720 Play Monopoly

01:27:23.300 So we had to get the candles out

01:27:24.320 And we'd all have to get together

01:27:25.980 In the same room

01:27:27.300 Yeah

01:27:27.620 And we hated each other

01:27:29.520 Yeah

01:27:29.880 But for that

01:27:32.420 Four to

01:27:33.260 Forty hours

01:27:34.360 Yeah right

01:27:34.920 Because we're in the poor area

01:27:36.000 Yeah yeah yeah

01:27:36.780 You get power last

01:27:37.960 Yeah absolutely

01:27:38.840 I mean we would go to school

01:27:40.100 Still hadn't had power

01:27:40.880 Other people had power

01:27:42.200 Right

01:27:42.940 There were rich kids

01:27:43.740 Like showing up

01:27:44.500 With like just

01:27:44.960 Pictures of power

01:27:46.120 That they'd thrown

01:27:46.780 At their house

01:27:47.320 Yeah they have a little electricity

01:27:48.500 Oh extra

01:27:49.120 Static shock in you

01:27:50.200 Yeah

01:27:50.440 Like we got extra bitch

01:27:51.880 A lunchbox

01:27:53.740 It's just a couple watts in it

01:27:55.080 They're eating

01:27:56.140 Yeah they're eating light

01:27:57.060 Yeah yeah

01:27:57.580 You see it go down their throat

01:27:59.420 Their fucking stomach glows

01:28:00.700 I bet you wish

01:28:03.320 This was powering

01:28:03.940 Your grandma's pacemaker

01:28:04.920 Huh pussy

01:28:05.540 But so

01:28:08.300 But that was like

01:28:08.980 The kind of the nicest time

01:28:10.400 In a way

01:28:10.760 Because you needed each other

01:28:12.180 Yeah

01:28:12.420 Like I needed

01:28:13.460 If I wanted to walk

01:28:14.600 To the other part of the house

01:28:15.540 I needed my brother

01:28:16.300 To go with it

01:28:16.860 Totally

01:28:17.020 I needed

01:28:17.280 There was just so much connection

01:28:19.040 And I wonder if like

01:28:19.760 You could just say

01:28:20.280 Hey on Sunday

01:28:21.040 I think yeah

01:28:22.440 It's off

01:28:22.920 Yeah absolutely

01:28:24.060 We shut it down

01:28:24.680 I mean

01:28:25.500 But that's the thing

01:28:26.280 But that's the thing

01:28:26.300 It's never gonna be worldwide

01:28:28.180 It's something

01:28:28.800 People have to do

01:28:29.840 For themselves

01:28:30.560 It's something

01:28:31.140 People have to

01:28:32.500 Just take an active role

01:28:33.780 In their personal lives

01:28:34.860 And it's swimming upstream

01:28:36.500 From society

01:28:37.960 Which is like

01:28:39.140 Use your phone

01:28:40.160 Do all this shit

01:28:41.240 Pay with a fucking QR code

01:28:42.840 All this shit

01:28:43.260 It's crazy

01:28:44.260 And I'm with like

01:28:45.600 I

01:28:46.200 When I'm done

01:28:47.580 The tour

01:28:48.080 And I'm done

01:28:48.620 I'm doing a bunch of podcasts

01:28:49.860 I'm trying to promote the special

01:28:51.020 But I'm taking a couple months off

01:28:53.580 And just not doing stand up at all

01:28:55.000 Just not doing shit

01:28:55.860 Just like truly chilling

01:28:57.020 I'm getting a fucking flip phone dude

01:28:59.140 I'm going flip mode

01:29:00.340 And I'm just

01:29:00.980 I did that a couple years ago

01:29:03.200 For two weeks

01:29:04.360 And it was like

01:29:05.620 I just cleared my head

01:29:07.240 In a crazy way

01:29:08.120 Where it was like

01:29:08.720 No phones before

01:29:10.280 I had

01:29:10.800 I would literally check my phone

01:29:11.740 For like one hour

01:29:12.620 And I would just like

01:29:13.820 And I would not check it

01:29:15.100 For like a couple hours

01:29:16.220 Until I woke up

01:29:17.100 I would read a book

01:29:18.200 That's what I would be like

01:29:18.900 Because your brain's like

01:29:19.840 Let me check my fucking

01:29:21.320 Let me check my shit

01:29:22.460 You know what I mean

01:29:23.100 Like you're just wired that way

01:29:24.120 Oh your brain's a

01:29:24.700 Totally

01:29:25.900 Absolutely

01:29:26.900 It's the

01:29:27.480 It really is trying to betray you

01:29:29.420 Your brain is trying to fucking

01:29:31.340 Get you dude

01:29:32.480 It's like

01:29:32.840 Who's

01:29:33.500 Who's paying attention to me

01:29:34.960 Yeah

01:29:35.060 You know what I mean

01:29:35.680 Well that's a scary part too

01:29:36.860 About the ego

01:29:37.560 You know

01:29:38.060 Like

01:29:38.320 Having an ego

01:29:39.860 Is so scary

01:29:40.720 Because that thing's growing

01:29:41.640 While you're not even noticing

01:29:42.660 Yeah

01:29:42.900 That thing is planning

01:29:43.800 It's plotting against you

01:29:45.000 In a weird way

01:29:45.520 It helps you in the beginning

01:29:46.400 But then it kind of plots against you

01:29:47.760 Oh and that's a

01:29:48.300 That's a whole other fucking

01:29:50.100 Like you know

01:29:50.860 Can of worms right

01:29:51.840 Like that's a whole other thing

01:29:52.780 You have to take care of

01:29:53.680 But it's hard

01:29:54.840 And it's a different

01:29:55.540 A different problem

01:29:56.380 But yeah dude

01:29:57.020 Reading a fucking book

01:29:58.360 And like

01:29:59.520 Not

01:30:00.280 And going for a walk

01:30:01.340 And like just

01:30:01.880 Truly

01:30:02.720 But dude

01:30:03.660 But dude

01:30:03.680 The amount of effort that took

01:30:05.120 I planned it

01:30:06.120 Yeah

01:30:06.480 I told people

01:30:07.300 I was like

01:30:07.700 I will not be available

01:30:09.360 Constantly

01:30:10.400 Text this fucking

01:30:11.880 Number you don't know

01:30:13.240 Because it's my fucking burner

01:30:14.460 That's the only way

01:30:15.620 To get a hold of me

01:30:16.240 Only contact me

01:30:17.240 If something is fucking serious

01:30:18.620 And it's like

01:30:19.520 You have to almost like

01:30:20.340 Plan for it

01:30:21.200 When it's

01:30:21.720 You can't just slip into

01:30:22.740 Fucking being

01:30:23.420 A regular human being

01:30:25.040 You know

01:30:25.660 Yeah

01:30:26.300 It takes some

01:30:27.000 It takes an effort

01:30:27.900 It's true

01:30:28.560 And you have to want it

01:30:29.560 And part of you

01:30:30.200 Can

01:30:30.380 It can easily be like

01:30:31.320 You know what

01:30:31.640 I don't want it

01:30:32.220 I just want to stay here

01:30:33.440 And be stuck in this

01:30:35.620 Hamster wheel

01:30:36.260 Joey Pantoliano

01:30:37.260 In the Matrix

01:30:37.820 You want to eat

01:30:38.380 The fucking steak dude

01:30:39.380 You know what I mean

01:30:40.440 Nobody did

01:30:40.960 Was it an Italian

01:30:41.820 He's the

01:30:42.440 Yeah

01:30:42.600 Joey

01:30:43.080 He's the guy

01:30:44.400 Who betrays them

01:30:45.580 Oh there's Italians

01:30:46.380 It's in the AI

01:30:47.020 Yeah

01:30:47.480 Yeah

01:30:47.900 Oh god

01:30:48.840 Yeah you should have known

01:30:49.940 It's in the code

01:30:51.120 That's

01:30:52.120 You know

01:30:52.660 Not to believe him

01:30:53.100 There's a bunch of Italians

01:30:53.760 In the code

01:30:54.260 I got it

01:30:54.800 Now you're definitely out

01:30:56.920 I just

01:30:57.420 I don't know

01:30:58.100 I think people are

01:30:59.400 I don't know

01:30:59.920 I don't

01:31:00.140 I just

01:31:00.600 I'm going to need to get

01:31:01.500 A little bit more land

01:31:02.280 To separate myself

01:31:02.980 A moat

01:31:05.320 You're going to get a moat

01:31:06.700 I got close neighbors dude

01:31:08.120 Yeah

01:31:08.340 You just get a moat

01:31:09.680 With like

01:31:10.120 Black teens

01:31:11.020 Playing innocently

01:31:12.620 That would keep Italians away

01:31:14.280 Black teens playing innocently

01:31:15.500 Yeah

01:31:15.680 Just riding their bikes

01:31:16.920 You know

01:31:17.620 Not up to anything

01:31:18.580 Illegal

01:31:19.360 But Italians would see that

01:31:20.300 And be like

01:31:20.660 I got to get away from here

01:31:22.480 Like so

01:31:23.160 Hey this neighborhood

01:31:24.260 Is not what it used to

01:31:25.160 It's just like

01:31:26.080 Black kids drawing with chalk

01:31:27.320 Having a nice Sunday

01:31:28.680 They're like

01:31:29.460 Jesus fucking Christ

01:31:30.780 What happened here

01:31:31.860 We used to beat each other

01:31:33.560 Over gambling debts

01:31:34.920 At this playground

01:31:35.800 Now these fucking kids

01:31:37.820 Are playing checkers

01:31:38.980 Yeah now we got a couple

01:31:39.800 Black Taylor Swift fans

01:31:41.520 Out here

01:31:42.000 That's when you know

01:31:44.260 The world's getting crazy

01:31:44.940 Those black Taylor Swift fans

01:31:46.460 Dude

01:31:46.800 I know

01:31:47.820 I know

01:31:48.740 We just had

01:31:49.160 They just had a

01:31:49.840 Blackface occurrence

01:31:50.840 Where was it

01:31:51.380 Can you bring that up brother

01:31:52.320 Wow

01:31:53.420 Somebody else tried it

01:31:54.460 They tried it past Halloween

01:31:56.140 Yeah

01:31:57.180 Oh yeah

01:31:57.660 A November blackface

01:31:58.820 Is a very interesting move

01:31:59.980 Yeah this is kind of

01:32:00.560 The off season

01:32:01.320 I feel like

01:32:01.960 Absolutely dude

01:32:04.200 Come on

01:32:05.200 A middle schooler

01:32:06.180 Who went to a football game

01:32:07.080 At my former high school

01:32:08.020 Has been suspended

01:32:09.020 For wearing blackface

01:32:10.460 Uh oh

01:32:10.780 I was in attendance

01:32:11.500 To this game

01:32:12.060 Which took place

01:32:12.580 On October 13th

01:32:13.660 The student attends

01:32:14.520 More

01:32:15.320 Murelands

01:32:16.020 Which is right next

01:32:16.860 To the high school

01:32:17.480 Uh huh

01:32:18.040 Um

01:32:18.720 Can we see a video

01:32:20.180 Or picture

01:32:20.720 Let me see

01:32:21.740 Oh

01:32:22.700 Oh there he is

01:32:23.480 Right there

01:32:24.000 I mean

01:32:24.340 Is that blackface though

01:32:25.400 Or is that just

01:32:26.160 Emulated the style of eye black

01:32:27.860 Worn by many athletes

01:32:29.040 Yeah

01:32:29.420 Yeah the dude

01:32:30.020 I think is just a shitty

01:32:30.900 That's not blackface

01:32:31.580 He's just a shitty painter

01:32:32.580 That's crazy

01:32:33.440 Yeah yeah yeah yeah

01:32:34.560 Either he's a bad

01:32:36.060 Yeah

01:32:36.440 Or a bad racist also

01:32:38.300 Yeah

01:32:38.680 He could just be

01:32:39.300 Yeah

01:32:39.720 Yeah he's definitely

01:32:40.820 A shitty painter

01:32:41.440 But it's like

01:32:41.860 Did he mean to do blackface

01:32:43.020 Or did he mean to do eye black

01:32:44.120 We don't know

01:32:44.880 He's that bad at painting

01:32:45.920 Yeah

01:32:46.340 Yeah

01:32:46.920 Yeah I mean

01:32:49.180 That's crazy dude

01:32:50.220 I think

01:32:50.760 Yeah

01:32:51.060 And he didn't even do

01:32:51.900 His forehead

01:32:52.600 I think

01:32:53.180 You could call him mixed

01:32:54.320 Yeah

01:32:54.900 You know

01:32:56.280 You could say

01:32:57.120 That's how that works

01:32:57.740 It's not

01:32:58.640 It's not percentages

01:32:59.660 You could say

01:33:00.500 The guy did

01:33:01.080 The guy's out here

01:33:02.700 Ben Simmonsing

01:33:03.600 He's naturally

01:33:05.400 Pretty Ben Simmons though

01:33:06.700 Yeah

01:33:07.140 He's kind of

01:33:08.200 He looks kind of

01:33:08.840 He kind of looks like

01:33:09.780 Young Ben Simmons

01:33:10.740 Yeah

01:33:11.020 Look so that

01:33:12.240 I think is fair

01:33:12.940 You can't say

01:33:13.460 This dude is fully

01:33:14.320 Blackface

01:33:14.620 No that's not blackface

01:33:15.400 I think at this point

01:33:16.620 In society

01:33:17.040 You should be able

01:33:17.480 To do half blackface

01:33:18.620 Half blackface

01:33:19.120 Oh you think

01:33:19.500 You should do a nice mocha

01:33:20.380 Well people are mixed

01:33:21.240 Yeah

01:33:21.740 Yeah

01:33:23.360 Yeah what if you're

01:33:23.980 A Honey Badger fan

01:33:24.800 Well I still

01:33:25.480 I don't think

01:33:25.980 You should do

01:33:26.520 I don't think

01:33:27.260 You need to paint

01:33:27.840 Your skin

01:33:28.640 His skin color

01:33:29.360 To show that

01:33:30.100 You're a fan

01:33:30.480 Maybe just his jersey

01:33:31.520 Would be fine

01:33:32.120 Yeah you can do

01:33:32.720 Just his jersey

01:33:33.340 But I think

01:33:33.740 If you really want

01:33:34.380 To freaking get in there

01:33:35.360 Okay

01:33:36.900 Get in the game

01:33:38.040 Wasn't that

01:33:38.520 Somebody's motto

01:33:39.260 For a while

01:33:39.760 EA sports

01:33:40.040 It's in the game

01:33:41.000 It's in the game

01:33:41.820 Okay okay

01:33:42.660 This is interesting

01:33:43.220 If you want to do blackface

01:33:44.500 You have to prove

01:33:45.580 That you are a

01:33:46.660 Hardcore fan

01:33:47.920 Of the black person

01:33:48.740 That you're doing

01:33:49.380 The blackface of

01:33:50.280 Okay

01:33:50.540 You know

01:33:51.100 That's fair

01:33:51.880 You know

01:33:52.180 You can't be doing

01:33:53.240 There has to be a true

01:33:54.580 Has to be a true homage

01:33:56.580 Yeah

01:33:56.920 I want

01:33:57.340 I want to

01:33:57.780 You have to pass

01:33:58.560 Like a driving test

01:33:59.420 But it's like

01:33:59.900 What college did

01:34:00.840 Terramatho go to

01:34:01.720 How many interceptions

01:34:02.960 Did he have in 2012

01:34:04.140 You know what I mean

01:34:04.740 Yeah yeah yeah

01:34:05.080 And if you ace that

01:34:06.000 Then you get

01:34:06.880 Then you get to

01:34:08.720 Go to fucking

01:34:09.220 You get to go to

01:34:10.660 Sephora

01:34:11.480 Matches

01:34:12.620 Get a foundation

01:34:13.980 That matches

01:34:14.460 His fucking

01:34:15.140 Skin completely

01:34:16.680 And then you gotta

01:34:17.340 They should have

01:34:17.840 That Sephora

01:34:18.400 Section

01:34:19.280 Sephora

01:34:21.340 Sephora

01:34:22.140 For the modern

01:34:23.240 Racist

01:34:23.900 Look

01:34:25.140 They're not all

01:34:26.300 Coal black

01:34:27.200 Yeah let's be

01:34:30.680 Let's be realistic

01:34:31.660 Let's be realistic

01:34:32.460 They're half white

01:34:33.020 Just cause we're racist

01:34:34.140 Doesn't mean we can't

01:34:35.160 Have some artistic

01:34:35.840 Integrity

01:34:36.560 It's funny too

01:34:39.080 Cause I think

01:34:39.440 Some guys

01:34:39.980 Wouldn't care

01:34:40.540 Those lips are that red

01:34:41.940 Get the real lip color

01:34:44.040 I think some guys

01:34:44.800 Wouldn't

01:34:45.060 Some people wouldn't care

01:34:46.140 It's

01:34:46.740 I think we're probably

01:34:47.620 One generation away

01:34:48.780 From probably people

01:34:49.660 Being able to dress

01:34:50.740 Like their favorite

01:34:51.660 If there's an athlete

01:34:52.420 That's black

01:34:53.000 I think we're also

01:34:54.060 Probably two generations

01:34:54.840 Away from everybody

01:34:55.460 Being mixed

01:34:56.140 You know

01:34:56.500 Yeah

01:34:56.800 I think so

01:34:57.600 I think we're getting there

01:34:58.400 I personally don't want

01:35:00.220 I would love to have

01:35:01.420 Like everyone in my

01:35:03.340 Family's white

01:35:04.100 Yeah get you something huh

01:35:05.260 Let's mix it up a little bit

01:35:06.480 Oh yeah

01:35:06.960 You know

01:35:07.300 I don't want

01:35:07.800 Now look

01:35:08.400 I fall in love with a white woman

01:35:09.580 I fall in love with a white woman

01:35:10.640 What are you gonna do

01:35:11.340 But

01:35:12.040 Why not get a little

01:35:13.640 Something going

01:35:14.260 Also adoption

01:35:15.440 I feel like more people

01:35:16.660 Should adopt

01:35:17.200 If only because

01:35:18.300 Why do you want

01:35:19.620 Your genes

01:35:20.360 Out there

01:35:21.120 I'm a fucking idiot

01:35:22.460 My family's dumb as shit

01:35:24.160 We should end this

01:35:25.440 Like let's

01:35:26.440 An adopted kid is like

01:35:27.840 Taking a fucking

01:35:29.000 Lottery ticket dude

01:35:30.480 It's a scratch off

01:35:31.720 Yeah but

01:35:32.560 Some of them will

01:35:33.400 Some of them will

01:35:34.580 Kill you in your sleep

01:35:35.380 If they're from

01:35:35.900 If they're from Russia

01:35:37.520 Yeah well that's

01:35:39.480 Scratch off

01:35:40.480 Sometimes you get fucked

01:35:41.640 But sometimes it's like

01:35:42.800 Uh oh

01:35:43.220 Asian girl

01:35:44.440 That didn't want this

01:35:45.300 To affect her

01:35:45.880 Going to grad school

01:35:46.820 You know what I mean

01:35:47.860 Like

01:35:48.240 But then you scratch it off

01:35:50.060 It's like

01:35:50.300 Aw

01:35:50.780 Meth heads who tried

01:35:52.020 To sell the baby

01:35:52.920 Like damn

01:35:54.900 Fuck

01:35:55.740 This is tough

01:35:56.760 Oh I knew I shouldn't

01:35:57.940 Have bought that

01:35:58.260 From that gas station

01:35:59.260 The pump said

01:36:01.720 Out of service

01:36:02.460 I should have known

01:36:03.160 I had a friend

01:36:03.960 Who did have a

01:36:04.840 Russian

01:36:05.560 Or maybe he was like

01:36:06.140 Lithuanian adopted brother

01:36:07.520 Didn't kill anybody

01:36:08.880 But

01:36:09.600 Had

01:36:10.600 A hammer on him

01:36:12.220 Wow really

01:36:12.760 And it really affected

01:36:13.840 My friend

01:36:14.360 Because he was like

01:36:14.900 This is my brother

01:36:15.700 But man

01:36:16.940 Because he doesn't have

01:36:18.480 He's not saddled

01:36:19.540 With our little dick jeans

01:36:20.700 He has those big

01:36:22.220 Fucking

01:36:22.660 You know

01:36:23.880 Nice fat

01:36:24.660 Lithuanian cock jeans

01:36:25.920 For a dick to make it

01:36:26.960 All the way across the ocean

01:36:27.800 He rode on it

01:36:29.440 It was buoyant enough

01:36:30.800 To support him

01:36:31.440 That thing's gotta be

01:36:32.300 Yeah

01:36:32.580 That's like the life of pot

01:36:34.000 You gotta be able to travel

01:36:36.340 Yeah

01:36:36.660 Yeah it's the tiger

01:36:37.640 He's attacking people

01:36:39.120 On the boat

01:36:39.620 What uh

01:36:41.320 What other news

01:36:42.120 Did we get man

01:36:42.820 What else happened

01:36:43.520 Bin Laden's letter

01:36:46.560 Do you have stuns

01:36:47.400 Young Americans

01:36:48.000 Oh yeah

01:36:48.600 This was on TikTok

01:36:49.500 Oh wait

01:36:50.120 First on TikTok

01:36:50.760 Can you see the

01:36:51.320 Black face charcoal guy

01:36:52.520 Can we look that up

01:36:53.380 Just YouTube

01:36:57.840 Just cool

01:36:58.520 More black face

01:37:00.240 There must have been

01:37:01.020 Some black face

01:37:01.720 When you were growing up

01:37:03.620 Charcoal guy

01:37:03.640 Does black face

01:37:04.840 Head in bag

01:37:07.360 Do that

01:37:08.320 Black face charcoal guy

01:37:09.380 Head in bag

01:37:10.160 Cool guy

01:37:11.580 As long as you don't

01:37:16.040 Talk in a different voice

01:37:17.240 Yeah

01:37:17.860 I think you're good

01:37:18.620 With the charcoal mask

01:37:19.580 Yeah

01:37:20.100 You can't do a voice

01:37:21.100 You can't do a voice

01:37:22.440 There he is right there

01:37:23.180 Guy puts a bag

01:37:23.880 With a barbecue

01:37:24.540 Charcoal on his head

01:37:26.740 Let's see if this is

01:37:27.460 Black face or not

01:37:28.400 Interesting

01:37:29.700 And this is in Russia

01:37:32.660 Oh Russia

01:37:33.220 Oh yeah

01:37:37.420 This guy's a GWAR fan

01:37:38.840 Oh damn

01:37:42.920 I don't know

01:37:43.600 That's an even coat

01:37:44.920 God damn

01:37:45.700 Wow

01:37:46.480 Why did he do that

01:37:47.840 Huh

01:37:48.960 Because it doesn't feel

01:37:50.000 Like he's being racist

01:37:50.960 It feels like he's being

01:37:51.680 Weird and Russian

01:37:52.440 Yes

01:37:53.260 See that's interesting

01:37:54.540 That is interesting

01:37:55.680 If he'd have put on

01:37:57.500 A James Harden jersey

01:37:59.400 Right

01:38:01.580 And kept switching teams

01:38:03.040 Right

01:38:03.280 Yeah

01:38:03.420 Something tells me

01:38:04.440 He wouldn't pass our test

01:38:05.580 Yeah

01:38:06.020 He wouldn't know

01:38:06.440 Which year's Harden won MVP

01:38:08.340 Shout out to Harden

01:38:11.240 By the way

01:38:11.740 Really

01:38:12.080 I love it dude

01:38:13.140 Did you see that thing

01:38:13.700 That the guy did the other day

01:38:14.660 Yeah he went off on it

01:38:15.720 But here's what I'll say

01:38:16.860 That guy

01:38:18.520 That is the most I've ever

01:38:20.280 Connected to an athlete

01:38:22.240 Because it's like

01:38:23.000 Yeah fuck working hard dude

01:38:25.040 Go get fat as shit

01:38:26.500 And still get what you want

01:38:28.040 That's awesome

01:38:29.180 He's not going to win a championship

01:38:30.640 Jordan

01:38:31.520 I cannot relate to Michael Jordan at all

01:38:33.800 Being obsessed with your fucking job

01:38:36.000 Like a fucking nerd

01:38:36.880 Wanting to be the best in the world

01:38:38.300 Not having a relationship with your kids

01:38:40.380 Harden is living life dude

01:38:43.020 And if you're thinking about

01:38:44.580 The kind of guy you want

01:38:45.780 And he gets

01:38:46.240 He's always won everything

01:38:47.900 He's gotten to play with all his friends

01:38:49.460 Like when he moved to the Nets

01:38:51.140 And it was like

01:38:51.740 I just want to hang out with KD again

01:38:53.160 That's the most like

01:38:54.560 Yeah dude

01:38:55.460 Yeah

01:38:56.080 You're past your prime

01:38:57.220 You won your MVPs

01:38:58.540 They did video games a lot I heard

01:38:59.800 Yeah dude

01:39:00.520 They got drafted

01:39:01.680 They were in OKC together

01:39:02.780 And they was like

01:39:03.840 Fuck it we're going back there

01:39:04.920 And they played with Russ again

01:39:06.100 And it was like

01:39:07.180 I relate to being in your 30s

01:39:09.840 And just wanted to hang out with your boys

01:39:11.660 When you were 20

01:39:12.360 Yeah

01:39:12.800 Like he fucking

01:39:13.780 Like

01:39:14.540 That's a great point man

01:39:15.680 That's a great point Stav

01:39:16.900 Cause we all

01:39:17.580 We judge these athletes on like

01:39:18.880 They have to be these fucking serial killers

01:39:20.580 That care about anything but championships

01:39:22.540 Like no

01:39:23.100 Harden

01:39:23.960 Has made

01:39:24.960 300 million

01:39:26.120 400 million dollars

01:39:27.260 Look

01:39:28.160 Would he win it

01:39:29.400 Is he going to win a championship

01:39:30.260 Probably not

01:39:31.000 He's got two MVPs

01:39:32.100 I think two MVPs

01:39:33.180 And yes

01:39:34.040 He falls apart in the playoffs

01:39:35.320 But

01:39:35.700 Okay

01:39:36.700 He's still better

01:39:37.900 Than 99

01:39:39.700 Of human beings

01:39:40.740 That have ever played basketball

01:39:41.860 And he made

01:39:42.680 400 million dollars

01:39:43.700 He never had to work that hard

01:39:45.420 He quit

01:39:45.960 Yeah

01:39:46.360 Oh he didn't

01:39:47.400 He didn't show up in the playoffs

01:39:48.580 Yeah dude

01:39:49.320 You know what happens

01:39:49.920 When it's Thanksgiving week

01:39:50.880 I don't fucking answer emails

01:39:52.560 I'm like James Harden

01:39:54.160 I don't go

01:39:54.920 My boss calls me at 11pm

01:39:56.600 It's going on mute

01:39:58.040 I'm not answering

01:39:59.240 I'm not

01:39:59.980 Oh the office is on fire

01:40:01.400 I don't give a fuck

01:40:02.800 Yeah it's the fourth quarter

01:40:03.740 I'm off the clock brother

01:40:04.520 Yeah yeah

01:40:05.540 This is overtime

01:40:06.400 I'm here

01:40:07.500 But I'm not going to work hard

01:40:08.620 That's why

01:40:12.020 He's getting fat

01:40:13.300 He's spending all his money

01:40:14.480 Getting pussy

01:40:15.240 I love it dude

01:40:16.620 Bro that is excellent man

01:40:18.880 You're right dude

01:40:20.280 James Harden

01:40:21.280 You're doing it

01:40:21.980 He's the man

01:40:22.660 He's American

01:40:23.280 He's American

01:40:24.080 That's the most American shit

01:40:25.420 Of all time

01:40:25.980 Yeah

01:40:26.240 Like alright

01:40:27.040 If I try really really hard

01:40:28.860 I still might not

01:40:30.440 Win a championship

01:40:31.280 Yeah

01:40:31.660 So why not

01:40:32.360 Not try that hard at all

01:40:33.640 And have a sick life

01:40:35.440 Yes

01:40:36.100 That's why I fuck with Shaq too

01:40:37.940 Shaq fucking dude

01:40:39.320 Shaq could have been

01:40:40.700 Could have won

01:40:41.440 Way more championships

01:40:42.520 But he got

01:40:43.660 You see him when he

01:40:44.500 Was at LSU

01:40:45.380 He's like a skinny guy

01:40:47.300 Oh yeah

01:40:47.740 And he's just like

01:40:48.500 I'm just going to keep

01:40:49.240 Getting fat as fuck

01:40:50.040 Yeah might as well

01:40:50.800 I'm going to do Shazam

01:40:51.960 In the off season

01:40:52.980 I'm going to do

01:40:53.860 I'm going to rap

01:40:54.640 I'm going to get fat

01:40:55.760 I'm going to fucking buy

01:40:56.600 Burger Kings

01:40:57.380 And shit like that

01:40:58.220 And even today

01:40:59.140 To this day

01:40:59.740 Shaq's on TV dude

01:41:01.040 Talking about basketball

01:41:02.080 Clearly does not

01:41:04.320 Watch the games

01:41:04.940 Yeah

01:41:05.260 Just like

01:41:05.900 Has no fucking idea

01:41:07.860 What's going on

01:41:08.980 Yeah

01:41:09.560 Icy hot

01:41:10.820 Yeah

01:41:11.460 The insurance

01:41:13.420 He's just constantly

01:41:14.520 Doing commercials dude

01:41:15.600 He'll sell something dangerous

01:41:17.400 And then the insurance

01:41:18.220 Right after

01:41:18.680 Yeah yeah yeah

01:41:19.480 Get the new Shaq

01:41:20.900 Archery kit

01:41:22.280 Yeah

01:41:22.740 Right right

01:41:24.520 You got a neighbor

01:41:25.160 That's out of line

01:41:26.060 He'll just grab a ball

01:41:29.120 Off a rim

01:41:29.600 Yeah yeah yeah

01:41:29.980 Not anymore

01:41:30.760 Right right

01:41:31.740 Nothing to do with archery

01:41:32.720 Not with Shaq Arrows

01:41:34.000 Yeah

01:41:34.480 Shaq's Arrows

01:41:35.560 Yeah

01:41:35.820 And then the next

01:41:36.760 Come on it's like

01:41:37.160 Oh is somebody

01:41:37.860 Shooting at your house

01:41:39.060 Yeah

01:41:39.540 Get the insurance

01:41:42.240 It's perfect

01:41:43.120 Yeah

01:41:43.480 You need the guardian

01:41:44.660 Or whatever it is

01:41:45.340 That little fucking

01:41:46.000 Insurance guy

01:41:46.660 Oh yes the general

01:41:47.420 Yeah put icy hot

01:41:48.640 On your grandmother

01:41:49.440 And get the general

01:41:53.080 But yeah

01:41:54.680 No it's

01:41:55.160 I respect athletes

01:41:56.520 That are just like

01:41:57.220 This is my job

01:41:58.640 It rules

01:41:59.800 I'm gonna have the best time

01:42:01.480 In the fucking world

01:42:02.220 Great point

01:42:02.500 And I'm not gonna be Jordan

01:42:04.020 Dude look at the fucking

01:42:06.200 Last dance

01:42:06.860 Jordan is sad

01:42:08.800 His eyes are fucking

01:42:10.380 Yellow

01:42:10.840 Yellower than that 24

01:42:11.980 Right there

01:42:12.580 You know what I mean

01:42:13.400 Like he's drunk as fuck

01:42:14.640 Like he put everything

01:42:17.140 In those years

01:42:17.860 And yeah he was the man

01:42:19.240 Right

01:42:19.560 And of course

01:42:20.280 Michael Jordan's the fucking man

01:42:21.980 I respect him

01:42:22.540 But it's like

01:42:22.980 You'd rather be

01:42:24.720 A guy

01:42:25.860 Who's a choke artist

01:42:27.060 In the playoffs

01:42:27.720 But made millions

01:42:28.940 Of fucking dollars

01:42:29.800 And by the way

01:42:30.380 Harden had some good games

01:42:31.640 Against the Celtics

01:42:33.040 Last

01:42:33.400 When he was on the Sixers

01:42:34.680 Last

01:42:35.120 He had a couple bangers

01:42:36.380 But still

01:42:37.120 You'd rather just

01:42:37.900 I would rather just be a guy

01:42:39.060 Who's awesome as shit

01:42:40.040 And never wins

01:42:40.760 But has no stress

01:42:42.200 Versus a guy who's like

01:42:43.380 Lives and dies

01:42:45.060 You hear Larry Bird

01:42:46.500 Talk about championships

01:42:47.860 He's like

01:42:48.540 It doesn't feel

01:42:50.000 It just doesn't feel

01:42:51.240 Disappointing when you win

01:42:52.400 And when you lose

01:42:53.500 You want to kill yours

01:42:54.280 It's like that crazy

01:42:55.440 And like his

01:42:56.360 And it's like

01:42:56.820 That's a fucking serial killer

01:42:58.140 And yeah he's awesome

01:42:59.280 But I don't want that shit dude

01:43:00.960 I want to have a good ass time

01:43:02.100 It's a great

01:43:02.820 It's a great

01:43:03.300 It's a great point man

01:43:04.180 I think it's just an overall

01:43:05.180 Good point about how like

01:43:06.400 We get caught up

01:43:07.780 In having to be the champion

01:43:09.120 Yeah

01:43:09.700 And how unrealistic it is

01:43:11.620 That everybody's

01:43:12.560 Going to be the champion

01:43:13.280 Totally

01:43:13.680 And to recognize

01:43:15.120 Do I really want to do

01:43:17.700 All it's going to do

01:43:18.720 To possibly be the champion

01:43:20.480 Yeah

01:43:21.180 And then what are you

01:43:21.920 Realistically left with

01:43:23.320 Like yes

01:43:23.800 There's some recognition to it

01:43:25.560 But is that worth

01:43:27.720 The things you might sacrifice

01:43:28.860 Along the way

01:43:29.700 You know

01:43:30.200 Yeah

01:43:30.540 Totally

01:43:31.180 And yeah

01:43:31.980 And just because

01:43:33.020 Something's your job

01:43:33.620 Doesn't mean it to be the champion

01:43:34.520 The only way you show up

01:43:35.140 Do a good job

01:43:35.900 And have fun

01:43:36.660 Have fun

01:43:37.220 Entertain people

01:43:38.100 You know what I mean

01:43:39.120 Awesome

01:43:40.220 That's great man

01:43:41.740 I really appreciate you

01:43:42.400 Thinking about that

01:43:43.000 Yeah yeah yeah

01:43:43.840 Of course dude

01:43:44.900 Yeah it's just

01:43:45.800 It's true

01:43:46.600 It's like

01:43:47.020 Because you get on this

01:43:47.860 Invisi

01:43:48.380 It's almost like

01:43:49.240 Instead of walking

01:43:50.280 When you get to the airport

01:43:51.060 Sometimes in Minneapolis

01:43:51.940 Yep

01:43:52.460 Which by the way

01:43:53.460 They've done a great job

01:43:54.580 Great airport

01:43:55.220 Great airport

01:43:56.260 You get there

01:43:58.680 And you can go on that track

01:43:59.940 Or you can just walk

01:44:00.880 You know what I'm talking about

01:44:01.940 With the moving floor

01:44:02.780 Yes of course

01:44:03.620 And it's like

01:44:04.080 You just get on that

01:44:04.720 Moving floor

01:44:05.260 You're not even really

01:44:06.280 Thinking about your steps

01:44:07.480 No

01:44:07.840 You're just

01:44:08.460 You know

01:44:09.420 But it does feel cool

01:44:10.440 I will say

01:44:11.080 It is nice

01:44:11.800 Sorry to muddy up the analogy

01:44:13.160 No it's nice

01:44:14.000 But I feel fast as shit

01:44:16.000 When I

01:44:16.240 Like you go on those

01:44:17.260 And I even pick up the pace

01:44:18.800 And I'm like

01:44:19.180 I'm fucking Superman

01:44:20.200 I'm bionic

01:44:21.240 Oh you'll go fast

01:44:21.900 You'll walk on them

01:44:22.580 Oh wow

01:44:23.780 I love that

01:44:24.280 You feel so fast

01:44:25.580 Yeah oh

01:44:26.100 You feel like you're

01:44:26.560 In a threesome

01:44:27.120 I feel like

01:44:27.640 No

01:44:28.720 That for me

01:44:29.800 Historically that's

01:44:30.700 Nervous

01:44:31.620 Blowing it

01:44:32.360 You know

01:44:33.160 Having the worst time

01:44:34.080 In my life

01:44:34.680 I've had

01:44:35.760 I've had a nice one

01:44:36.960 But most of them

01:44:37.760 Yeah

01:44:38.000 What city did you have

01:44:38.820 A nice one in

01:44:39.420 Chicago

01:44:40.340 Okay

01:44:41.100 And one in New York

01:44:42.640 But yeah

01:44:44.000 Had some bad ones

01:44:45.420 A couple other places

01:44:46.500 Oh you've been in

01:44:47.180 A multitude of them

01:44:48.140 I've been in a couple

01:44:48.700 Yeah

01:44:49.040 I ended my special with

01:44:50.880 Did we talk about this

01:44:52.560 Last time

01:44:53.020 It feels like we did

01:44:53.700 I don't remember

01:44:53.940 Because I feel like

01:44:54.760 You were in one

01:44:55.600 I was in a unique one

01:44:57.440 Outside of Missouri

01:44:58.220 Yes we talked about it

01:44:59.280 We talked about it

01:44:59.940 Grateful that everybody

01:45:00.580 Made it out okay

01:45:01.320 To be honest

01:45:04.120 You know

01:45:04.500 Yeah

01:45:05.740 But

01:45:06.200 If you're crushing it

01:45:08.120 If you're crushing it

01:45:09.420 In a threesome

01:45:09.800 That's probably

01:45:10.380 What that feels like

01:45:11.260 Well my thing was

01:45:12.100 I didn't know

01:45:12.600 One of the girls

01:45:12.980 So I was trying to

01:45:14.000 Small talk

01:45:14.680 While I was hooking up

01:45:15.500 With this other girl

01:45:16.040 So it was like

01:45:16.560 It was like

01:45:17.860 Hey where are you from

01:45:19.180 You know

01:45:19.820 Oh do you have family

01:45:21.120 And you're just making

01:45:21.840 It just

01:45:22.200 The whole thing

01:45:24.080 Was just ridiculous

01:45:24.860 What other news we got

01:45:26.760 Let's bring a little bit more up

01:45:28.180 I think you just gotta

01:45:29.260 Turn

01:45:29.580 I think you just gotta

01:45:30.360 Turn that brain off

01:45:31.340 Brother

01:45:31.660 You're right

01:45:32.720 When the dick is hard

01:45:33.580 The brain is off

01:45:34.460 That's I think

01:45:35.880 How it needs to be

01:45:36.360 Oh my

01:45:36.820 That has been my

01:45:37.540 Number one problem

01:45:38.260 I remember when I used to

01:45:38.960 Be able to smoke weed

01:45:39.840 Sometimes my erection

01:45:41.220 Because my brain

01:45:42.120 Would shut off

01:45:42.780 Yes

01:45:43.240 And my erection

01:45:44.300 Dude it would be like

01:45:45.280 Oh my god

01:45:45.840 It would be like

01:45:46.240 Somebody that had

01:45:47.000 Got to the top of a hill

01:45:48.500 For the first time

01:45:49.260 In its life

01:45:49.760 Oh my god

01:45:51.400 This view is unbelievable

01:45:52.920 It stayed up there

01:45:53.980 It was doing selfies

01:45:54.900 Yeah dude

01:45:57.420 I'm with you too

01:45:58.080 That is always my problem

01:45:59.300 Because I

01:46:00.240 When I actually like a girl

01:46:01.760 The first time I fuck her

01:46:03.260 I have been hard

01:46:04.320 Zero percent of the time

01:46:05.660 Because I'm worried

01:46:06.340 I'm gonna blow it

01:46:07.140 But then if I don't get

01:46:08.180 If it's like you know

01:46:08.940 Just we both know the score

01:46:10.760 We're just here to bust

01:46:12.080 No problems dick wise

01:46:13.860 And then again

01:46:14.600 If I break through

01:46:16.100 And I've been dating somebody

01:46:17.600 For a while

01:46:18.200 And I trust

01:46:19.480 You know

01:46:19.840 All that

01:46:20.500 All the like anxiety

01:46:21.720 Of like does this person

01:46:22.720 Like me

01:46:23.820 All this shit

01:46:24.360 When that truly goes away

01:46:25.860 Not just intellectually

01:46:26.760 But I feel it's going away

01:46:28.180 My dick actually

01:46:29.480 Truly gets hard

01:46:30.480 Really?

01:46:31.160 And then we broke

01:46:31.940 Literally this happened to me

01:46:33.180 Where I dated somebody

01:46:34.200 And we finally

01:46:35.300 I felt like we finally

01:46:36.340 Got all our shit figured out

01:46:37.520 And my dick was getting

01:46:38.500 Harder than ever

01:46:39.520 To the point where

01:46:40.580 She was like

01:46:40.940 What's up with your dick

01:46:41.900 Like she was literally

01:46:42.580 Like something's different

01:46:43.600 Your dick is like

01:46:44.380 Actually

01:46:45.440 She was like

01:46:46.200 She was like

01:46:48.420 Mildly uncomfortable

01:46:49.680 For the first time

01:46:50.980 Ever having sex with me

01:46:51.900 She was like

01:46:52.360 Your dick has got

01:46:53.800 And not small anymore

01:46:55.960 Wow

01:46:56.360 Like that was essentially

01:46:57.200 Not big

01:46:57.980 Oh wow yeah

01:46:58.420 Not big but not small

01:46:59.740 You know

01:47:00.060 Yeah

01:47:00.440 And then literally

01:47:01.200 Positive

01:47:01.540 We broke up

01:47:02.160 It felt good

01:47:02.800 It felt good

01:47:03.460 Feeling positive

01:47:04.460 Yeah

01:47:04.720 Man yeah

01:47:05.720 That's it

01:47:06.100 I never try and work

01:47:08.520 Through that uncomfortable

01:47:09.600 Phase

01:47:10.560 Yeah it's tough

01:47:11.360 To see if there's a real

01:47:12.220 Phase on the other side

01:47:13.100 It's so hard for me man

01:47:15.320 It's scary

01:47:15.960 For me too

01:47:16.780 That's the only girl

01:47:17.440 I've ever done it with

01:47:18.240 And I will tell you this

01:47:19.620 It took a while

01:47:21.040 To like get over that

01:47:22.800 But once it happened

01:47:23.740 It felt awesome

01:47:24.440 And like

01:47:24.880 I've been too busy

01:47:26.120 The last couple years

01:47:27.440 Like I don't feel like a

01:47:28.440 I don't know if you feel this way

01:47:29.700 But it's like

01:47:30.600 On the road constantly

01:47:31.760 And shooting a special

01:47:33.540 And working on other projects

01:47:34.600 I don't even feel like a person

01:47:36.280 Like I barely see my friends

01:47:37.900 I barely see my family

01:47:39.140 You can't have a dating life

01:47:41.140 Because you're just not

01:47:42.020 In a fucking city

01:47:42.920 Yeah

01:47:43.260 For longer than whatever

01:47:44.200 And so I'm really looking forward

01:47:45.940 To like focusing on that shit

01:47:48.000 In the next year

01:47:48.980 I'm taking most of the next year off

01:47:50.640 Wow really stuff

01:47:51.560 Yeah

01:47:51.960 Good for you man

01:47:52.900 I can't be a

01:47:53.400 Yeah I can't

01:47:54.040 Like from the road anyway

01:47:55.320 Like I'll do local shit

01:47:56.480 I'll work on my act

01:47:57.380 And I'm gonna say

01:47:58.520 You know you lose a lot of money

01:47:59.800 Doing that

01:48:00.180 But it's like

01:48:00.660 What do you have the money for

01:48:02.020 Yeah

01:48:02.340 But yeah dude

01:48:03.740 I would say

01:48:04.360 Give it a whirl

01:48:05.180 It's worth it

01:48:05.800 Because I felt

01:48:06.580 It was

01:48:08.040 And you know

01:48:08.540 It ended up

01:48:08.980 We weren't right for each other

01:48:09.780 For other reasons

01:48:10.440 But you know

01:48:11.520 When you get

01:48:12.600 When your dick gets hard from love

01:48:14.140 That's special

01:48:15.340 Oh wow

01:48:16.120 You know

01:48:16.640 That's a special thing

01:48:18.640 Yeah I want that

01:48:19.500 I think

01:48:20.020 I think you can have it

01:48:21.120 You're a wonderful guy

01:48:22.560 A girl would be lucky

01:48:25.100 To have

01:48:25.660 Your truly hard dick

01:48:26.980 Anxiety free

01:48:29.800 Oh

01:48:30.640 I can't even imagine that really

01:48:33.340 I know

01:48:33.920 It is hard to imagine

01:48:35.140 When it happened to me

01:48:36.040 I was so

01:48:36.440 I was like

01:48:36.780 What's going on here

01:48:37.460 No way

01:48:37.900 I can't imagine

01:48:39.060 Like getting

01:48:39.680 Like having natural

01:48:40.880 Like

01:48:41.320 Just being

01:48:42.100 Yeah

01:48:42.420 Rehardation

01:48:43.180 Yeah

01:48:43.700 I'm reharded

01:48:45.860 I'm a rehard

01:48:48.900 Yeah dude

01:48:52.240 The way you know

01:48:54.120 You're in love

01:48:54.540 When you fuck

01:48:55.120 Like a rehard

01:48:55.920 Yeah I do not

01:49:00.660 I am like

01:49:01.980 A sniper

01:49:02.860 I literally have to

01:49:03.820 Get my wiener hard

01:49:05.020 Run in there

01:49:06.300 I'm like

01:49:07.680 Go go go

01:49:08.620 You're getting the signal

01:49:09.700 I'm like a navy seal

01:49:11.060 Dude

01:49:11.500 Shout out my friend

01:49:12.880 Lance Hecker

01:49:13.420 But I had to get out

01:49:14.380 I would have to get erect

01:49:15.560 Run in there

01:49:16.880 Do the damage

01:49:18.460 And then

01:49:18.700 Yeah

01:49:18.940 Yeah yeah yeah

01:49:19.900 Slip out

01:49:20.720 Yeah yeah yeah

01:49:21.680 I mean before the gates

01:49:23.060 Even close

01:49:23.700 I'd have to make it back out

01:49:24.940 I get that man

01:49:28.120 Oh man

01:49:28.780 What else

01:49:30.440 What other news we got

01:49:32.060 Botox

01:49:34.640 Oh hell yeah

01:49:35.440 Oh yeah

01:49:37.300 This dude

01:49:37.740 This is just exactly

01:49:38.980 Where we are again

01:49:39.700 As a society

01:49:40.500 George

01:49:41.200 George

01:49:41.720 Santos

01:49:42.480 They said he spent

01:49:43.920 400,000 on OnlyFans

01:49:46.300 Again

01:49:46.940 Of his campaign funds

01:49:48.080 I gotta say

01:49:49.180 Respect

01:49:50.180 Good point

01:49:51.380 Because this guy's a fucking idiot

01:49:52.300 And he's like

01:49:53.280 Like that's the thing

01:49:54.520 This guy's a crook

01:49:55.700 Right

01:49:56.300 Yeah

01:49:56.660 And he

01:49:57.340 Realistically

01:49:59.340 Like was like

01:50:01.020 Well a way to be a crook

01:50:02.220 A sick way to be a crook

01:50:03.400 Is to be

01:50:04.300 A representative

01:50:05.640 And he's just fucking

01:50:07.120 Killing it dude

01:50:07.960 Yeah this happened

01:50:08.440 More and more

01:50:09.020 He spent a honeymoon

01:50:09.740 In Vegas

01:50:10.640 He did a Hampton

01:50:12.900 Holidays

01:50:13.800 Where is that

01:50:14.980 Being a chubby guy

01:50:15.140 With Botox

01:50:15.780 Not Hampton Inn

01:50:16.660 Huh

01:50:16.840 That's not very expensive

01:50:17.980 No no

01:50:18.760 The Hamptons in fucking

01:50:19.960 Long Island

01:50:21.660 Oh fuck that dude

01:50:22.720 I like Hampton Inn bro

01:50:23.800 They redid them

01:50:24.920 About 12 years ago

01:50:25.680 The Hampton Inns

01:50:26.260 They're great

01:50:26.840 You're a Hampton Inn guy

01:50:27.660 I love them

01:50:28.440 Elevators are all the same

01:50:29.860 They have like a little

01:50:30.480 Nice positive thing on it

01:50:31.760 With like a black kid

01:50:32.700 On a rope swing

01:50:33.500 Or like a white kid

01:50:35.540 Like getting a lemonade

01:50:36.520 From his grandma

01:50:37.140 Yes yes yes

01:50:38.140 I was always a Holiday Inn

01:50:39.660 Express man

01:50:40.420 Oh really

01:50:40.960 When it came to the

01:50:41.880 Lower levels

01:50:42.860 I haven't been to

01:50:43.700 I'm not a Hampton Inn guy

01:50:44.900 My top spender

01:50:46.240 She put up

01:50:46.720 Well here's his problem

01:50:47.740 He also put George Santos

01:50:49.440 As his screen name

01:50:52.000 Wait what the fuck

01:50:52.920 That's a girl

01:50:53.620 Right that was her

01:50:55.400 But her top spender

01:50:56.480 She's saying

01:50:57.100 She's an OnlyFans model

01:50:58.560 But he's gay

01:50:59.380 Santos is gay

01:51:00.260 Is he

01:51:00.960 Yeah

01:51:01.460 Well he spent $435,000

01:51:03.380 Attempting to not be gay

01:51:04.660 What the fuck

01:51:05.700 Go to this girl's

01:51:06.520 Is she trans or something

01:51:08.360 Or is she

01:51:08.820 Does she peg guys

01:51:10.120 Yeah let's see if she's trans

01:51:11.560 Or maybe she fucks guys

01:51:13.520 No

01:51:13.980 Wow

01:51:14.760 I mean if she's trans

01:51:15.860 I'm sucking that thing

01:51:16.980 No problem

01:51:17.640 If she's trans dude

01:51:19.400 Red Rover

01:51:20.500 Red Rover

01:51:21.260 I'll be right

01:51:22.560 6-2

01:51:22.920 Uh oh

01:51:23.620 I might have to

01:51:24.380 I'll be right over

01:51:26.660 Wow

01:51:28.120 What's her name

01:51:28.920 I mean she seems like

01:51:30.380 She might be trans

01:51:31.520 Which again

01:51:32.000 No problems here

01:51:32.880 Soog SX

01:51:33.980 Huh

01:51:34.280 Why don't we scroll down

01:51:36.280 Just a little bit

01:51:37.660 And George Santos

01:51:39.640 Was looking at her

01:51:41.100 I thought that guy

01:51:41.660 Was gay as hell

01:51:42.480 Yeah he might not

01:51:43.720 Be gay anymore

01:51:44.320 I think for $435,000

01:51:45.800 You can make it out

01:51:46.540 Of anything

01:51:46.980 You know

01:51:50.660 Yeah that's true

01:51:51.680 Where I'm from anyway

01:51:52.480 That's a nice

01:51:53.220 No that's a nice chunk

01:51:54.400 Yeah

01:51:54.840 You know

01:51:55.260 That's a nice chunk

01:51:56.600 Absolutely

01:51:57.440 You can stuff the condoms

01:51:58.760 Full of money

01:51:59.720 Just to keep your dick hard

01:52:01.720 That way in a woman

01:52:02.580 Worst case scenario

01:52:05.000 Doesn't Santos also have

01:52:06.720 Like a hot

01:52:07.380 Also scammer sister

01:52:09.060 I think I saw somebody

01:52:10.440 Tweet about that

01:52:11.360 Well a lot of people

01:52:12.360 Are just making it

01:52:13.280 To politics

01:52:13.700 It's politics now

01:52:14.520 But it's like

01:52:14.980 They're

01:52:15.520 Well it's funny

01:52:16.920 Because you don't want

01:52:17.540 Lifelong politicians

01:52:18.540 It feels like

01:52:19.100 Because the system

01:52:19.840 Is so dirty

01:52:20.780 Of course

01:52:21.340 Yeah

01:52:21.620 But then it's also

01:52:22.780 Like you

01:52:23.280 You get these

01:52:24.240 Like just fly by night

01:52:25.460 Kind of people

01:52:26.060 Like Fetterman

01:52:26.980 Right

01:52:27.520 Who I'm not saying

01:52:28.600 Is bad or good

01:52:29.260 But he's just

01:52:29.720 You know

01:52:30.140 Sometimes he shows up

01:52:31.140 Like he's

01:52:31.580 You know

01:52:32.140 Like it's an off day

01:52:33.380 Yeah he's got

01:52:34.300 His fucking

01:52:34.700 Sweatshorts on

01:52:35.980 Me and him

01:52:36.860 Dress way too similar

01:52:38.120 Oh that's a good point

01:52:38.980 Although he's not

01:52:40.640 This dripped out

01:52:41.360 But you know

01:52:41.780 On my

01:52:42.140 On my travel days

01:52:43.840 No if you're dripping

01:52:44.900 He's a leak

01:52:46.200 Yeah

01:52:46.640 It's like

01:52:48.020 He wears like

01:52:48.420 Champion athletics

01:52:49.340 Yes yes yes

01:52:50.360 You know

01:52:50.680 Which a lot

01:52:51.240 I respect it

01:52:52.080 It's comfortable

01:52:52.520 There we go

01:52:53.100 Tiffany

01:52:54.300 He paid her rent

01:52:56.700 This lady

01:52:57.200 That's his sister

01:52:57.900 Oh George

01:52:58.840 Hendo's sister

01:52:59.320 Tiffany hasn't paid

01:53:00.020 Rent since 2000

01:53:00.940 2020

01:53:01.560 Respect another

01:53:02.460 Scammer in the family

01:53:03.380 Yeah so it's just

01:53:04.380 That's a lot of

01:53:04.940 What's going on

01:53:05.760 Yeah absolutely

01:53:07.760 What else

01:53:08.580 What was that

01:53:08.920 Other story you had up

01:53:09.800 Oh this was interesting

01:53:12.240 Bin Laden's letter

01:53:13.040 To US stuns

01:53:14.300 Young Americans

01:53:15.520 He was right

01:53:17.540 A decades old document

01:53:20.340 Allegedly written

01:53:21.120 By Osama Bin Laden

01:53:22.080 Entitled

01:53:22.620 Letter to America

01:53:23.580 Recently went viral

01:53:24.400 On TikTok

01:53:24.880 With some young

01:53:25.960 Americans believing

01:53:26.640 That the Al Qaeda

01:53:27.360 Founder made valid

01:53:28.300 Points about their

01:53:28.980 Own country

01:53:29.560 I mean I don't know

01:53:30.880 This letter but

01:53:31.900 American imperialism

01:53:33.660 Definitely led to

01:53:34.940 Fucking terrorism

01:53:35.960 Keep it up

01:53:36.640 There's no way

01:53:37.280 I mean

01:53:37.760 That's the thing

01:53:38.600 No innocent people

01:53:39.820 Shouldn't have died

01:53:40.580 No terrorism's

01:53:41.600 Fucked up in any way

01:53:42.640 But it's like

01:53:43.100 You can't say

01:53:44.200 That America

01:53:44.800 Didn't act fucked up

01:53:47.100 It doesn't

01:53:47.760 To this day

01:53:48.280 Act fucked up

01:53:48.940 In foreign countries

01:53:49.800 And we've been

01:53:50.860 Destabilizing the Middle East

01:53:52.320 You know what I mean

01:53:53.200 Go back to that article

01:53:54.360 If you don't mind

01:53:54.840 Please brother

01:53:55.300 I just want to see

01:53:56.420 A little bit more

01:53:56.980 Keep going down

01:53:58.400 It's wild

01:54:02.900 And everyone should read

01:54:03.820 It said one TikTok user

01:54:04.940 Warning that the letter

01:54:05.680 Had left her very

01:54:06.500 Disillusioned and confused

01:54:07.840 Bin Laden the son

01:54:10.380 Of a wealthy Saudi

01:54:11.300 Businessman

01:54:11.940 Founded Al Qaeda

01:54:12.980 Or the base

01:54:14.420 In 1988

01:54:15.260 Following the Soviet

01:54:16.100 Defeat and withdrawal

01:54:16.980 From Afghanistan

01:54:17.760 A conflict in which

01:54:19.100 He fought

01:54:19.580 I didn't know

01:54:19.980 He was a fighter

01:54:20.660 In that

01:54:21.340 We fucking

01:54:22.680 Supplied them

01:54:23.680 Because they were

01:54:24.380 Fighting the Soviets

01:54:25.160 A lot of

01:54:26.060 Oh we supplied them

01:54:27.220 Yeah

01:54:27.540 We supplied Osama

01:54:28.340 Because it was a proxy war

01:54:29.300 Yeah absolutely

01:54:29.980 Under his leadership

01:54:31.540 The group launched

01:54:32.260 Several deadly attacks

01:54:33.380 And bombings

01:54:34.000 In various nations

01:54:34.760 Including the attacks

01:54:35.520 On September 11th

01:54:36.380 2001

01:54:37.040 The base is an

01:54:39.700 Interesting name

01:54:40.220 For a terrorist group

01:54:41.000 Yeah

01:54:41.380 It's the base

01:54:42.580 Space

01:54:43.060 You think they were

01:54:43.920 Fucking

01:54:44.240 You think they were

01:54:46.240 Fucking

01:54:46.640 Terror

01:54:47.080 Terror

01:54:47.900 Terror

01:54:48.020 Terror

01:54:48.360 Death

01:54:49.020 Death

01:54:49.560 Death

01:54:49.960 Death

01:54:50.340 Death

01:54:50.540 Death

01:54:50.900 Death

01:54:51.080 Death

01:54:51.260 Death

01:54:51.980 Death

01:54:52.660 And they do that

01:54:54.780 Cool yodeling

01:54:55.480 Shit

01:54:55.880 the creation and continuation of israel is one of the greatest crimes and you are the leaders of

01:55:00.660 its criminals bin laden wrote each and every person whose hands have become polluted and the

01:55:05.320 contribution towards the crime must pay its price and pay for uh heavily oh here it says the saudi

01:55:11.120 born militant then wrote the palestinians had to be revenged along with the people of afghanistan

01:55:15.260 so what he's saying is oh and here it is the american people are the ones who pay the taxes

01:55:19.420 which fund the planes that bomb us in afghanistan the tanks that strike and destroy our homes in

01:55:24.200 palestine the armies which occupy our lands in the arabian gulf and the fleets which ensure the

01:55:29.280 blockade of iraq this is why the american people cannot be innocent of all the crimes committed by

01:55:33.920 the americans and jews against us all right we had we had to hit it hit us with a jade didn't you

01:55:38.880 osama but so what is he saying here he's saying he's basically saying that we have a we we can't

01:55:47.100 you can't just look at america's actions as no repercussions of them i think so i mean look

01:55:52.880 obviously osama i'm not osama bin laden's off here right like obviously i'm not aligned with

01:55:58.560 osama where he's basically like neither one of us are he's basically like yeah i know i'm sorry i

01:56:03.000 don't mean to be like i don't mean about youth no no but i think um he's based i think he's saying

01:56:08.900 that like by just living in america no one's innocent and you're able to fucking that's why i

01:56:15.820 think that's how they're talking about terrorism and stuff like that um and and but i do think what

01:56:21.000 he's saying obviously he's wrong about that shit right well you shouldn't kill fucking innocent

01:56:25.880 people at all but i think he's saying that american imperialism is like people are going to be fucking

01:56:30.600 pissed off about that yes america has supplied israel with tons of you know billions of dollars

01:56:36.240 and the and they they're they need israel america needs israel because it's a strategic

01:56:41.720 you know base in the middle east it's the only it's the only like ally that they have

01:56:48.120 there you know and so um and they've they've just kind of turned we've all kind of turned a blind

01:56:54.160 eye to the god the situation in gaza where it's like yeah they're unfortunate they're completely

01:57:01.020 they don't have an independent government they're under the rule of israel and each year it gets

01:57:06.120 like a little they take more and more of their like you know the land or whatever and and i guess

01:57:13.060 the whole point is like yeah america has been acting in a lot of fucked up ways that fucking a

01:57:18.460 lot of people are pissed off about and i think a lot of people don't know about either probably

01:57:21.680 totally absolutely you know absolutely like you don't think sometimes that like if you go and do

01:57:26.400 something in a country if your forces it's like you want to cheer your forces on because they're

01:57:29.860 your team yeah right they're the people that are keeping your country free but if if you kill

01:57:36.520 people in iraq because you're hunting al-qaeda totally and you kill a ton of civilians totally the

01:57:42.260 children of those civilians and the brothers and fathers of those civilians are gonna want to

01:57:47.300 uh repercuss absolutely they want they want revenge i mean makes sense it's a true empathy

01:57:52.920 thing of like think about if this is how you lived if like if you were under if you're in iraq if you're

01:58:00.300 in afghanistan post-war if you're in uh you know gaza under occupation if you you see you see your loved

01:58:06.520 ones get fucking killed by a different a foreign country a foreign country's army and you're not

01:58:12.920 it's like the cat williams joke where it's like what does the iraq army uniform look like you know

01:58:17.940 like i don't i'll wait like we've never seen it he's like we're just killing motherfuckers

01:58:21.920 we're calling them insurgents dude cat has the best that's the best iraq war joke that on uh the

01:58:28.520 pimp chronicles it's the best michael jackson joke and it's the best iraq war joke i think um but

01:58:33.720 anyway that's the thing it's like yeah people are gonna be fucking pissed off about that yeah

01:58:38.140 that's the same thing i think that it's like you know people you see like the the you always hear

01:58:42.160 like the free palestine movement you know and uh for me it's like if a place you when you hear the

01:58:47.560 free thing like free yeah that place usually needs help right yeah that's a good rule of thumb it's

01:58:54.920 like yeah you don't hear free america right you don't hear free israel you don't hear uh free china

01:58:59.900 yeah you don't hear free south carolina yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah you don't hear free nevada

01:59:05.900 no yeah yeah yeah yeah you hear free yeah palestine day it just man it just oh it's heartbreaking over

01:59:14.000 there without question yeah and our news doesn't even cover it fairly either no it's absolutely not

01:59:18.880 at all i mean no one is for terror and it's like the when you when you point out that the people in

01:59:25.680 gaza have been under you know military occupation with like not you know not access to water like

01:59:33.580 they have like a ton of a ton of crazy shit and not even we're not even getting into um you know

01:59:39.300 what's happened now which is like they're killing so many civilians it's fucking out of control it's

01:59:44.140 insane and it's like to like the the response is i mean it's like a it's like a moral crime what's

01:59:52.780 happening and but we've ignored the context of that situation which is like yeah dude these like

01:59:58.580 think about exactly what you said it's like think about what would happen if americans were put under

02:00:03.400 that you know that's the whole point right of like i mean especially if you're like a second like the

02:00:08.920 guys who always talk about i have a gun in case the government were to fucking like that's happening

02:00:13.740 right they're they have no right like they're they're they're like it's crazy the situation

02:00:18.540 over there and right now it's like hospitals are getting bombed it's like yeah and if you're if

02:00:22.880 your army is like such a talented army as israel has right why don't they send guys people in

02:00:30.340 especially if you already control the area i mean you're telling me you can't like i would rather

02:00:35.400 have our navy seals go in yeah absolutely do the job in an effective manner efficient i know there's no

02:00:42.560 wait that's the thing against you know against the terrorist people right right right the people

02:00:46.860 who did it fucking block it just seems like the not only cruel but the dumbest fucking thing well

02:00:53.120 it's like especially for people that have lived through iraq like we lived through that shit we

02:00:56.860 our general like we this country did there was obviously a protest but we basically were like all

02:01:03.920 right we're taking you okay i guess and then it's like it was complete bullshit they were no they had no

02:01:09.540 fucking they had no weapons yeah they didn't have a water gun yeah yeah yeah saddam's saddam's

02:01:15.160 fucking sons were too busy buying like golden fucking whips to hit their fucking slaves with they were

02:01:20.980 they were buying tigers and shit to eat curds they had they were like they yes they were horrible

02:01:25.540 people but they didn't have fucking nukes this is his son right here is a goth son he's actually

02:01:29.680 gonna be in and he's with it he's with it looks like an older woman which is kind of hot

02:01:34.380 wow it looks just like his father yeah dude that is funny to be goth osama

02:01:40.080 yeah dude it's like uh what's a good goth man that starts with l um lamb of god's not goth

02:01:51.940 uh or like heavy metal yeah yeah i don't know i'm i'm i'm thinking of a lot of m's megadeth metallica

02:02:00.800 uh geez i'm really blowing it i was just trying to think of a good play on words

02:02:05.920 sorry man i'm sorry i'm sorry we checked we both check swinging we're like uh we'll take another

02:02:12.760 pitch we're gonna we're gonna pass on that riff i wonder if it'd be interesting to talk with that

02:02:17.580 guy oh are you kidding me it would be fucking fascinating i bet that would be fascinating

02:02:21.700 wow i would love to talk with that guy and just see what he because he's just a son you know like

02:02:26.180 yeah i can't even imagine what his life is like oh i mean he had a ton of kids bin laden they were

02:02:31.360 so they i mean they're rich as fuck and you know i believe culturally it's like you just have a ton

02:02:35.820 of fucking kids if you have that much i mean his paintings suck dick but that's like i would buy

02:02:40.900 that probably that's not bad i guess if your fucking nephew did it but also you don't learn

02:02:46.980 into painting a cave dude i think he's in america we don't know if he is

02:02:52.920 painting by fucking lamp light yeah dude if you're painting by lighter although didn't they

02:03:01.140 when they found when seal team got him he was in like a mcmansion in pakistan wasn't he where was

02:03:06.140 he at um you know there's a lot of rumor that the guy who said that they say shot him didn't shoot

02:03:11.020 him oh you're still out there or they were just oh no no he's deceased gotcha because didn't they

02:03:17.120 throw the guy that did it or his claims to have done it i've i've just heard that that's not this

02:03:21.720 right yeah because there was like one guy who's on podcasts all the time yeah michael o'brien i think

02:03:27.380 is his name it does feel like i read the book the book's amazing okay his book and uh he's a neat guy

02:03:33.820 met him but people say that who knows yeah but i think there's this or maybe there's just a thing it

02:03:38.840 also could be there's you're not oh robert o'neill that you're not supposed to say what happened if

02:03:44.580 you did it yeah i think that's the code of conduct apparently it feels a little like you know it's

02:03:50.200 like you know act like you've been there before like don't do don't do a dance like a wide receiver

02:03:55.060 hand the ball to the ref and go kill the next fucking yeah terrorist you know what i mean like

02:04:00.420 there's a lot of rumors like that um which i get but yeah that stuff's heartbreaking i want to

02:04:05.780 have some people on that know more about maybe yeah i'm too i'm too stupid i i mean you know but

02:04:10.320 yes absolutely i mean it is it feels it feels like you have to like it feels like you have to do

02:04:19.580 something because if you're the power to of course you are the one that has to figure it out this the

02:04:25.060 other entity that it's not as powerful right or doesn't have any powers yes or only has limited

02:04:30.200 powers is they can't it's not there's no way for them to figure it like yeah i mean and and yeah

02:04:37.180 you definitely should have somebody on who knows more like about it but it's like the history is

02:04:41.140 crazy because it's like yeah not only do they have it's like they the people there have they've tried

02:04:47.260 for two state solutions in the past but nobody wants to talk about how like israel didn't want that

02:04:52.040 anyone who was trying to have a peaceful thing like they assassinated a lot of peaceful leaders and

02:04:56.720 they there's even like they helped fund hamas because they wanted i believe they wanted the plo

02:05:01.780 again though but like it's just it's just the kind of thing where this this thing is so it's so fucked

02:05:08.920 up what's been going on for 50 plus years in gaza and it's like i don't it's not that i don't understand

02:05:14.900 why israel is uh you know i understand why jews are a little on edge i get it like this fuck there's

02:05:21.620 so much anti-semitism in the world but it's like that does not you think there is in the world

02:05:26.600 yeah i do think there's generally anti-jewish sentiments but i also oh yeah yeah there probably

02:05:30.660 is but but i also think like that doesn't we're not talking about jewish people we're talking about

02:05:34.920 the state we're talking about a state government we're talking about israel we're talking about

02:05:38.180 yeah exactly government and it's like that's those aren't the same thing and a government that no has

02:05:43.500 people that are extremists in it is different than you know well that netanyahu guy seems he just

02:05:49.480 seems i i i he gives me the creeps yeah they have i mean they have people in the government that are

02:05:54.700 just like we should exterminate them like they're just straight up saying crazy racist shit and it's

02:05:59.960 like that has to also people also need to know that shit dude like it's not it's especially if you

02:06:05.620 were a group that somebody has already said that to but maybe that's like the thing where if like

02:06:09.520 somebody says something to somebody like hate creates hate you know i don't know i don't know

02:06:13.640 how that stuff gets stuck in people's dna and stuff like that you know i know but yeah just um

02:06:18.780 i don't know no shit is fucking heartbreaking it's completely fucked and now there's too much

02:06:23.480 visibility now where we are in like with social media everything for people not to see what's going

02:06:28.680 on i do think and i also think there's like a a generation of people that like for younger people

02:06:33.840 it's like they're just seeing what's going on right now you know what i mean they're just like

02:06:38.220 this is fucked up like you can have any you know any um you can have the reasons you're doing this

02:06:44.600 but like we're we're 19 we're living through this moment right now and we're we can't believe

02:06:49.620 what the right and they don't look at the history of stuff because they don't really have a long

02:06:52.960 history in their lives yet so they don't really history is not a part of things to them it's like

02:06:56.500 what's happening right now how does it look right now yeah that's the way society is now how does

02:07:01.740 this look right now but it's also i do think obviously you should know proper context and you

02:07:06.220 should do your research yeah yeah but i also do think there is something to that idea of like

02:07:10.200 it's also free of a lot of thinking where it's like oh yeah we're just we're just taking these

02:07:15.640 at face value like we're just seeing this and this is not acceptable to us but who knows we

02:07:20.180 obviously i'm not i'm not the guest for i'm not the guest for super in-depth shit like that but

02:07:25.400 yeah what's going on you're like a yeah you're like a gorgonzola judge yeah dude you know bring in

02:07:30.980 some aged cheeses bring in a fucking rib bring in a ribeye i'll tell you which one's good

02:07:36.240 give me four ribeyes i'll slurp a bowl of brie down what do we have for dinner by the way

02:07:41.180 what are we gonna get in between before the show man that's hilarious that's what we gotta be

02:07:44.860 talking that's what we gotta be thinking about you are right listen let's keep potting but in the

02:07:48.580 back of your head can you think about dinner brother what could i go for a porterhouse doesn't

02:07:56.020 sound too bad good don't don't sound too bad to me brother cordell stewart blew a guy at

02:08:03.720 sinley park over there and then the fruit loop

02:08:07.000 uh shout out to cordell is fucking unreal huh

02:08:12.240 yeah i mean that whole the it's that white trash is everywhere that's baltimore talks like that

02:08:18.120 baltimore does too baltimore philly it's a little different

02:08:21.320 oh my god what the hell are you talking about you here's what i'll say about israel

02:08:27.660 pauson let him fight it out arabs versus jews who gives a shit that's what those guys think

02:08:32.680 put it over there joe make it a raven's country put a stat take a put a statue of joe flacco up

02:08:39.900 there

02:08:40.140 we will annex israel for baltimore start serving crab cakes out of that ray lewis was a jew

02:08:49.120 yeah they'll start saying all kinds of shit oh yeah mm-hmm matt stover he was jewish we should get

02:08:56.340 the country that should be for the ravens i know i feel bad for my jewish friends too that are like

02:09:03.520 fuck why are we getting if they're getting flat from people because their country because they're

02:09:09.960 like or because they're the yeah well you should absolutely it's ridiculous to blame jewish people

02:09:17.200 right like it's not and that's why it's like i don't want but that but that's like you know you

02:09:22.300 don't want anti-symptom to get worse because of this obviously like like you don't want this like

02:09:28.140 really we need you got to fucking stop bombing the place immediately like you got to have a ceasefire

02:09:33.480 it's fucking crazy not to do that and then it's like let's can we actually try and have real fucking

02:09:38.260 productive like peace talks i could could something good happen out of this i don't know i'm a little

02:09:43.740 why can't we step in and try to help we're the ones that are america is part of the group that and

02:09:47.680 britain that helped create it right yeah it was britain it was it was a british colony before and

02:09:52.900 then they were like all right we feel bad about you just take this essentially you can't ref the first

02:09:57.760 quarter and then fucking all right boys call your own fouls yeah but one team owns all the balls

02:10:07.840 yeah one team's got all the whistles

02:10:09.820 that's perfect dude that's why you're great man because whistles was the right joke yeah that's

02:10:20.160 all right man that's all right this was the right joke

02:10:23.260 stabby anything else you want to think about man i think we've talked a lot huh yeah i'm good bro i

02:10:30.580 mean we could go this is the easiest podcast in the world we i could we could do this for fucking 10

02:10:34.460 hours we've got a show tonight i'm trying to think if there was anything else that we wanted to learn

02:10:39.200 we got the special is out the special yeah people can watch it it comes out december 5th on netflix

02:10:45.020 i'll make sure to post on my socials too appreciate you on that day man i'm sure people are going to

02:10:48.840 be excited to see it i just watched trevor wallace's new special i thought it was really cool i haven't

02:10:52.700 seen it where's it on it's on uh i want to say amazon maybe oh sick or hulu but it was just cool

02:10:57.940 yeah trevor's a hard worker man that kid yeah yeah yeah he's a great dude and i love just his whole

02:11:02.800 thing is like so ridiculous um they they do a podcast where it's like just to talk to porn stars

02:11:09.500 because i really respect that i think they have them on sometimes they're still they're still

02:11:14.000 jerking off a lot yeah i respect that from a philosophical standpoint it's like like you

02:11:20.580 know who's the king of that is that guy glennie oh glennie balls i mean i got i gotta meet that guy

02:11:25.000 because i feel like that's a path my life could have gone down he just has a show with the express

02:11:30.340 purpose of trying to fuck porn stars yeah he's the man respect all of uh uh buffalo cheddar

02:11:36.340 before uh before you come yeah yeah that's the best part it's like i've seen a couple clips

02:11:41.920 he's not good at interviewing

02:11:43.920 and like these girls also are not like the fucking most talented orators so it's like

02:11:53.840 not compelling content it exists solely for glennie balls to get his dick sucked and honestly salute

02:12:00.360 yeah dude welcome to america glennie oh yeah just like james harden respect yeah you're the

02:12:07.140 james harden just having a good time dude oh glennie's hilarious dude glennie is the most

02:12:14.320 lovable there is if you see him he's literally like every he's like a french bulldog love it dude but

02:12:21.040 that had a lot of croissants yeah oh absolutely definitely soft a fluffy old french bulldog oh

02:12:27.560 he's got some there's some flake coming off you know i respect that yeah like i just i don't know

02:12:32.080 i don't know the guy personally oh yeah he's great but but no the show is he's like yeah you like

02:12:35.880 having uh tits in your bra

02:12:37.360 yeah oh man i'd love to know his conversion rate on the podcast he says all the time i don't try to

02:12:47.760 have sex with these girls yeah we're like well if you don't glennie then what are you doing yeah

02:12:53.340 then you're an albanian journalist you try to get on 60 minutes you think this is step one

02:12:59.440 bro then you're just an albanian yeah yeah exactly that is alban that is albanian tv is like

02:13:07.300 we find the biggest breast in village and we ask question and we see with camera on breast whole time

02:13:14.540 i did go to my albanian friend's house one time as a child and they had just gotten albanian tv oh

02:13:21.660 it's beautiful and they had all it was like a variety show where it was like skits and it's

02:13:26.640 obviously all this the comedies you know back 80 years there where it's like all the skits are like

02:13:31.460 men dressed as women you know what i mean like just like that level shit uh and then the dj in

02:13:38.080 between skits was someone called dj topless and it was straight up you're not gonna believe it's

02:13:43.680 a woman with her tits out on tv on like what's on like on a sunday afternoon this woman just had

02:13:52.200 her tits out spinning euro trash music it was fucking awesome see that's the kind of diversity

02:13:57.000 we need in this country absolutely we got the titties out free free free the nipple for sure

02:14:01.600 free america dude that's right it's too late before it's too late we got to figure it out

02:14:06.860 we just got to keep communicating too and thinking as much as we can and making people laugh man you

02:14:11.180 do a great job of that star thank you man this is a highlight of my month thank you dude anytime and

02:14:15.680 dude we got to get you on starby's world sometime you're in new york and where do you tape in new

02:14:18.860 york new york okay i'll come do it this year hell yeah dude i'll come do it this year man i'll do it

02:14:23.200 next um yeah i got a couple ios that's a tough thing with pods it's like you get a few ious and then

02:14:28.920 you're doing your own and you start touring and you're like no i get it and maybe we can figure

02:14:32.200 some shit out on the road who knows but anytime you want to fucking come on and dude i'll do this

02:14:36.360 show every week if you want me to oh no well you're always welcome but i owe you man so i'll come over

02:14:41.300 there hell yeah and um yeah congratulations dude thanks big it's exciting to see you manage this and

02:14:47.040 just and just have an experience and yeah that james harden approach i like it that's that's all that's

02:14:52.340 you know obviously my favorite player is yannis he's the fucking man and he's more of the like

02:14:56.640 i'm gonna fucking work hard i'm gonna improve and he's but he's also got his family right like

02:15:01.540 there's different approaches to it but like at the end of the day i just tip my hat to a man who

02:15:06.760 fucking just says yeah i'm not that i'm not gonna care about being that good at my job i'm gonna care

02:15:11.840 about my life being better and i'm gonna i'm gonna be a little more hardened this year i was a little

02:15:16.500 i was a little too much like fucking kobe last year you know be a little more hardened on yourself

02:15:21.800 yep i'm gonna be hardened and then i'm gonna get rehearted yeah i'm gonna find a woman and get

02:15:28.920 rehearted we really came up with a great loophole i can't wait to shut down my central nervous system

02:15:33.960 and get an erection bro that should be our national anthem

02:15:39.200 fucking unreal absolutely yeah i'm a i'm a marshawn beauchamp fan dude oh yeah yep um awesome dude

02:15:48.760 yeah uh thank you so much davi and uh congrats again brother thanks dude thanks for having me

02:15:53.380 all right peace alex lagos congratulations too on the baby on the owl baby yeah the owl babian

02:15:58.940 now i'm just floating on the breeze and i feel i'm falling like these leaves i must be cornerstone

02:16:11.240 oh but when i reach that ground i'll share this peace of mind i found i can feel it in my bones

02:16:22.120 oh but it's gonna take

02:16:25.460 i'm gonna take

02:16:26.100 i'm gonna take

02:16:26.940 you

02:16:27.200 i'm gonna take

02:16:27.740 i'm gonna take

02:16:28.420 i'm gonna take

02:16:28.740 i'm gonna take

02:16:37.740 i'm going to take

02:16:41.740 it's gonna take

02:16:47.740 i'm gonna break

02:16:47.900 i'm gonna take

02:16:49.820 i'm gonna take

This Past Weekend with Theo Von - November 28, 2023

E472 Stavros Halkias

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