This Past Weekend with Theo Von - E518 A Mall Cop

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00:00:30.320 I've got a few tour dates to tell you about Wallingford, Connecticut,

00:00:35.220 Portland, Maine, Bangor, Maine, Moncton, Canada, Las Vegas, Nevada.

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00:01:05.800 Today's guest served 10 years as a mall cop.

00:01:11.900 You know who I'm talking about, that fella that's just looking all beast mode outside of the Cinnabon, baby. 0.65

00:01:17.540 You know what I'm talking about.

00:01:19.060 That Build-A-Bear badass, baby.

00:01:22.220 Mall copping.

00:01:23.540 We get into it all. 0.97

00:01:24.520 The stories, the stealing, the sex.

00:01:27.200 Hey, grateful for his time.

00:01:30.100 Today's guest is mall cop Gus Parsons.

00:01:35.420 Shine that light on me.

00:01:41.300 I'll sit and tell you my stories.

00:01:46.580 Shine on me.

00:01:49.920 And I will find a song I've been singing just before.

00:02:02.140 And now I've been moving way through.

00:02:04.260 Gus Parsons, thanks for coming in, man.

00:02:06.740 Hey, I'm glad to be here, bro.

00:02:08.980 You've worked in security for 20 years, right?

00:02:11.260 Yes, sir.

00:02:11.400 Mall cop.

00:02:12.220 Mall cop.

00:02:12.860 For 10 years.

00:02:14.380 10 years.

00:02:15.000 Wow.

00:02:15.420 Did my tour.

00:02:16.220 Did you?

00:02:16.660 Yeah, that's great.

00:02:17.780 And how do you get into mall copping?

00:02:21.540 Basically, zero education.

00:02:24.320 No goals in life.

00:02:25.960 Oh, really?

00:02:27.160 No, it's just one of those things that kind of just happens.

00:02:30.900 I started off doing other security, and then it just turns into like, hey, I need a job,

00:02:36.940 and a full-time job at that.

00:02:38.880 Yeah.

00:02:39.780 And mall security is usually one of those ones like, hey, man, can you breathe?

00:02:44.200 And I'm like, yes, fully functional.

00:02:46.760 And they're like, you're hired, you know?

00:02:48.280 So that's how I got into it.

00:02:50.260 And then-

00:02:50.840 Was your father in mall copping?

00:02:52.580 Or was it a-

00:02:53.740 It's not a-

00:02:54.420 No, I'm not.

00:02:55.060 Okay.

00:02:55.420 My dad was actually a bus driver.

00:02:56.740 Oh, he was?

00:02:57.180 Yeah.

00:02:57.700 That's cool, man.

00:02:58.460 I've ridden on buses, and I like it.

00:03:00.500 I mean, the fact of us wearing uniforms in the family, that's a thing.

00:03:04.280 Oh, it is.

00:03:04.780 Yeah, it's not military.

00:03:05.540 You know, bus drivers, security guards.

00:03:06.660 Yeah.

00:03:07.320 So you get a job at the mall, right?

00:03:09.440 So where's the first mall you clock in at?

00:03:11.920 The first one I ever did?

00:03:13.900 Yeah.

00:03:14.280 It was called Horton Plaza.

00:03:15.580 It was downtown San Diego.

00:03:17.200 No longer there, rest in peace.

00:03:19.800 But it was a three-story mall.

00:03:21.820 Had the theater down there.

00:03:23.720 Had all the kids hung out there at the time, because the buses went and connected all through

00:03:27.500 there.

00:03:28.060 Who told you to get a job as a mall cop?

00:03:29.480 Did you just-

00:03:30.600 Myself, honestly.

00:03:31.660 You did?

00:03:31.980 Yeah.

00:03:32.420 I wasn't into the whole labor thing.

00:03:34.120 You know, I did the little side jobs, building swimming pools, just being out in the sun.

00:03:38.940 Stuff I didn't want-

00:03:39.420 What do you mean being out in the sun?

00:03:40.440 Like what, hitchhiking or whatever?

00:03:41.480 Yeah, you know, it was a hard job.

00:03:42.820 No, you know, just like labor, you know, like hard labor, you know, like digging and trenches

00:03:46.960 and, like I said, digging swimming pools and stuff.

00:03:49.160 It just, I'm too fat for stuff like that.

00:03:51.460 So when I got into like the mall cop thing, it was kind of supposed to be a lazy job for

00:03:56.120 me, and it definitely wasn't a lazy job for me, because I still come from the era of chasing

00:04:00.360 people down.

00:04:01.320 Okay.

00:04:01.940 And that used to be fun.

00:04:04.140 What, as a mall cop you mean?

00:04:05.220 Yeah, yeah.

00:04:05.660 Well, first of all, what is the training like?

00:04:09.140 Oh, here's your, here's the mall, here's the clock in.

00:04:15.000 Like I said, you can still breathe, right?

00:04:16.860 I'm like, yeah, okay, well, you're fully functional, you know?

00:04:20.340 Training with that, it's just more like-

00:04:21.800 There's no like, you don't have to have a 40 time, you don't have to have like a, there's

00:04:25.980 not like a physical requirements to be a mall cop.

00:04:30.280 No.

00:04:30.920 They actually will give you a segue if you can't meet the physical requirements.

00:04:34.520 No way.

00:04:34.920 Yeah.

00:04:35.620 Like, oh, you can't walk that fast?

00:04:37.480 Well, here's some mobile wheels, you know?

00:04:39.840 Like, here you go. 0.99

00:04:40.800 That Paul Blart shit's real. 1.00

00:04:42.200 It's very much real. 1.00

00:04:43.140 Like, a lot of people make fun of it and stuff.

00:04:44.700 I'm like, actually, those are for the mall cops who can't get physical.

00:04:48.400 Wow.

00:04:48.980 And that's embarrassing.

00:04:49.920 I've gotten on those things and actually chased people as a joke.

00:04:53.600 Like, oh, they're stealing.

00:04:54.740 I'm like, oh, watch this.

00:04:55.640 You know?

00:04:56.320 It's embarrassing for them.

00:04:57.500 They're running through the mall and you're just like, coasting.

00:04:59.920 Yeah, exactly.

00:05:01.060 That look right there. 0.99

00:05:02.280 Well, segues are so ridiculous. 0.77

00:05:03.980 Because the whole, every time you're talking to a guy on a segway, he's like, all right, 1.00

00:05:06.640 man, I'll see you guys later. 0.99

00:05:09.040 And then he just takes, he's just like fucking- 0.96

00:05:10.980 Or you get those real professional ones and do the full spin on you and they're just like- 1.00

00:05:14.400 Yeah, that shit's, yeah. 0.99

00:05:15.700 All that like- 0.99

00:05:16.980 But the training-wise, man, it's not much.

00:05:19.920 So there's no training.

00:05:20.860 So there's no like-

00:05:21.700 But there's not like where there's boot camp or anything like that.

00:05:25.120 Oh, no, no more.

00:05:25.940 No.

00:05:26.040 Okay.

00:05:26.380 I think that was the 70s security guards.

00:05:28.700 I used to learn from those tough guys.

00:05:30.120 Did you?

00:05:30.520 Oh, yeah. 1.00

00:05:31.520 Punch them in the face. 1.00

00:05:32.260 I'm like, well, we can do that? 1.00

00:05:33.260 Like, we're not cops?

00:05:34.000 I'm like, when you find out as a security guard that you're not a cop and things change, 0.99

00:05:39.380 you're like, oh, I can do some shit now. 0.98

00:05:42.620 But that was back in the day. 1.00

00:05:43.500 Now you just have to kind of watch them steal and run off out the mall.

00:05:46.860 And you're like, hey.

00:05:47.860 But what do you mean when you watch them when you see them?

00:05:51.300 Like, okay. 0.99

00:05:52.000 So as of like the past 10 years now, you know, everyone's got cell phones and a stick up their ass. 0.99

00:05:57.840 So it's like, hey, I'm trying to steal from your store. 0.99

00:05:59.840 Don't touch me.

00:06:01.140 So now some guy won a case, I don't know, however many years ago.

00:06:04.460 Now it's like, you can't chase them.

00:06:06.660 You can't touch them.

00:06:07.680 You just have to kind of monitor their stealing.

00:06:09.500 Like, hey, man, put that Gucci belt in that pocket.

00:06:12.260 It's showing, you know.

00:06:13.160 Like, you got to kind of escort them out the mall. 1.00

00:06:15.520 So what do you, but you can't, can you even, what's your, what do you just be like, stop, fucker? 1.00

00:06:20.920 Yeah. 1.00

00:06:21.160 Can you even do that?

00:06:22.060 No, you can't even say that. 1.00

00:06:23.160 You can't just say fucker. 1.00

00:06:24.540 You just say fucker, you know. 1.00

00:06:26.020 Like, you say stop. 1.00

00:06:26.820 They're like, hey, you can't tell me what to do.

00:06:28.640 I identify as go, you know. 1.00

00:06:29.920 You're like, oh, shit, you know. 0.99

00:06:31.300 So there's no training. 1.00

00:06:32.700 No.

00:06:33.080 Okay.

00:06:33.360 Okay.

00:06:33.620 So there's no training.

00:06:34.880 Do you shadow anybody when you first start?

00:06:37.160 Like, yeah, you'll go in, you'll shadow a couple of the guys that have been there a while.

00:06:41.040 They'll show you what stores to stay away from, what stores are cool.

00:06:45.300 More or less just doing the whole rounds.

00:06:47.560 A lot of time you would have, some malls would make you like scan in every 10 minutes through the place.

00:06:52.900 But then we just kind of figured out if you just took a picture and then went to the copy place and made the copies of those and had a sheet.

00:06:59.540 You can just sit in the office and scan those things if nobody's watching.

00:07:02.620 So as soon as your shadow leaves, that was pretty much it.

00:07:05.260 Oh, so you're saying like a QR code?

00:07:07.000 Yeah.

00:07:07.320 Like at each place you'd have to scan as you're moving around the mall?

00:07:10.760 Yeah.

00:07:10.900 So every day you'd have to go and check in like, oh, I'm at the Baby Gap, you know, here.

00:07:15.320 And then you just have to keep checking in as you go through the mall to make sure that you've secured the whole place, stuff like that.

00:07:20.820 Like I'm at Baby Gap.

00:07:21.820 I'm at Bed, Bath & Beyond.

00:07:22.780 I'm at Rocco's Tacos or whatever and just around the bin.

00:07:27.080 Yeah.

00:07:27.740 So we'd just take a picture of the barcode, send it to our email, put all the barcodes on a sheet, printed it, and then we had it in the office.

00:07:35.520 So you could just sit there and just scan them every few minutes?

00:07:37.560 Yeah.

00:07:37.720 We'd put like timers on our cell phones and stuff like, hey, how long do you think it would take us to get from here to here? 1.00

00:07:42.140 One guy was an idiot. 0.99

00:07:43.740 He would scan them all in a row. 1.00

00:07:46.260 And one time our supervisor came and he was like, hey, Speedy, like, how are you doing this?

00:07:52.500 And he's like, and we got caught a little bit, but yeah.

00:07:55.940 Wow.

00:07:56.300 That's a good hack, bro.

00:07:57.540 Yeah.

00:07:57.880 We had a lot of hacks at the mall.

00:07:59.080 Did y'all?

00:07:59.600 Hell yeah.

00:08:00.460 When you pull up with, so when you start, when you first start there, what are their, were there like old heads working there?

00:08:06.560 Like what are the different types of mall cops?

00:08:08.040 Oh man.

00:08:08.560 Okay, so you got your, you got your pant booters.

00:08:12.240 We call them pant booters.

00:08:13.720 Those are the security guards who did not make it as a cop.

00:08:17.120 Their uncle or their step uncle was a cop.

00:08:20.180 So they wanted to be a cop.

00:08:21.380 So they come in, they got the whole vest on, everything's tucked in nice.

00:08:24.980 They got their pants tucked into their boots.

00:08:27.320 You know, they're ready for combat.

00:08:28.680 And it's like, bro, it's, it's a mall job, you know?

00:08:31.220 So you got that guy.

00:08:32.180 And, and I will tell everyone that, you know, that guy, we all work with that guy.

00:08:36.660 Yeah.

00:08:38.340 Then sometimes you get the little thug dudes that are just like hanging around just because

00:08:41.940 they need a job.

00:08:42.720 And that's not, you know, I'm not being discriminative, but that's, it's very true.

00:08:46.400 We get a lot of little thug guys that do security. 0.91

00:08:48.520 It's great because they're the ones that usually bring the weed for us, you know? 0.99

00:08:51.540 So it's always like, fuck yeah. 0.99

00:08:53.080 Love you guys. 0.99

00:08:54.940 So those guys are usually ones like, you know, and that's, that's not a race.

00:08:58.340 That's just the little ghetto guys that always come. 1.00

00:09:00.480 They don't do their job.

00:09:02.080 Shirt's untucked.

00:09:02.900 They're like, eh, we just do the bare minimum.

00:09:04.400 If there's someone stealing, let us know.

00:09:07.320 Yeah.

00:09:07.440 Those guys always look like they're going to get some, some girl pregnant. 1.00

00:09:11.280 Or they already have.

00:09:12.660 Yeah.

00:09:13.100 The girl from Cinnabon's usually pregnant. 0.95

00:09:14.820 Is she?

00:09:15.260 Hell yeah.

00:09:15.860 Oh yeah.

00:09:16.580 It's in the oven, baby.

00:09:17.540 Hell yeah.

00:09:18.020 Both the bun and that.

00:09:20.180 Two buns going at once.

00:09:21.780 Drizzle it.

00:09:22.540 Yeah.

00:09:23.980 Okay.

00:09:24.440 So, and so those are the main two types of cops.

00:09:26.480 Do you feel like the mall cops?

00:09:28.280 And, and then there's just the, the average Joe.

00:09:31.020 Like I, I would have put myself in the average Joe category.

00:09:34.460 Like, you know, just the dad who just needs a job, but there's that guy.

00:09:39.140 Okay.

00:09:39.300 There's the real Paul Blart kind of type, you know, like no girlfriend, no wife, you know,

00:09:44.940 lives at home with mom.

00:09:45.960 Can't wait to go play video games type guy.

00:09:48.020 You know?

00:09:48.580 Like almost like the guy that never left the mall in a way.

00:09:51.320 He grew up in the mall and was like, I'm going to get a job here.

00:09:54.400 You know?

00:09:54.840 Like never left.

00:09:55.520 I'm going to stay here.

00:09:56.000 Yeah.

00:09:56.220 Malls are awesome.

00:09:56.960 Yeah.

00:09:57.200 I'm getting that 10% discount.

00:09:59.180 Malls are awesome, dude.

00:10:00.100 I remember in our, uh, we used to go to Slidell, Louisiana.

00:10:03.060 They had a mall there.

00:10:04.060 Bring it up.

00:10:04.460 See if it's there.

00:10:05.620 Just see some images of it.

00:10:07.120 And they, um.

00:10:08.760 So this is a North shore square mall.

00:10:10.960 Yeah.

00:10:11.460 Those are the doors we go in, dude.

00:10:13.140 And we camp, they let you camp right outside by the parking lot, like in the medians.

00:10:17.280 So, uh, we get dropped over there on Saturday.

00:10:20.720 We'd hang out at the mall and then we'd sleep in our tents.

00:10:23.980 And then Sunday we'd go back into the mall, dude.

00:10:26.660 And they had a church service in there too.

00:10:28.540 And we could just go do it all right there.

00:10:30.640 Get you, um, yeah, some lunch, get you on some of those little shaker chairs that, you 1.00

00:10:36.300 know.

00:10:36.720 I loved when those first came out.

00:10:38.200 Oh, I was there for that.

00:10:39.580 Like I was there for that evolution of the mall chair.

00:10:41.960 Were you?

00:10:42.340 Yeah.

00:10:42.580 They just popped up one day.

00:10:43.640 We're like, what in the lazy is this?

00:10:46.200 You know, like, it was great.

00:10:48.160 You know?

00:10:48.620 So all of us would be on our break just like, if I can vibrate now.

00:10:52.160 I'm like, you can't do that. 0.98

00:10:53.260 I'm like, shit, if I can't, it only costs a dollar, you know? 0.99

00:10:55.840 Yeah. 0.99

00:10:56.240 It's great.

00:10:56.720 Hey, whisper something nasty to me, you know?

00:10:58.980 Oh, it's great.

00:11:00.000 Segway.

00:11:00.480 You're like, oh, yeah.

00:11:01.520 What was the uniform like that you guys had?

00:11:04.060 Uh, it was, it was just a basic cop knockoff.

00:11:06.520 Um, I refused to wear the Mount Me hats.

00:11:09.280 Cause.

00:11:09.720 What is it?

00:11:10.080 The Mountie hats.

00:11:11.060 Oh, Mountie hats.

00:11:11.960 Yeah.

00:11:12.220 We call them Mountie hats, you know, from.

00:11:13.940 Oh, yeah.

00:11:14.840 But no, some malls will literally make you wear a Mountie hat.

00:11:17.680 And it's like, why? 0.99

00:11:19.760 We're like, we're in the fucking mall. 0.99

00:11:21.300 We're not like. 0.99

00:11:22.280 Who are y'all?

00:11:23.240 Yeah.

00:11:23.560 Like, I don't know if you could.

00:11:24.740 Yeah.

00:11:24.880 See?

00:11:25.280 Like, that's literally, that's literally how a lot of mall cops will.

00:11:28.240 Yeah.

00:11:28.520 Why do they even make y'all look like that?

00:11:30.520 I have no idea. 0.99

00:11:31.560 That's one of the most ridiculous things. 0.99

00:11:33.180 Whoever did that, you really hate all of us. 0.99

00:11:35.700 Yeah.

00:11:36.320 Whoever, like, because there's an ultimate mall cop out there who's just like, I'm going to make

00:11:40.040 this the worst uniform ever.

00:11:41.700 And it's funny because you get those little ghetto dudes are like, they come and they're 1.00

00:11:45.160 like, fuck, yeah, I'm here to work. 0.99

00:11:46.520 And they're like, okay, well, put on your little Mountie hat. 1.00

00:11:47.900 And you're like, oh, shit, you know? 0.99

00:11:50.040 Why is the hat, do you think it's just so people know immediately who is there to help 0.99

00:11:55.440 them if they need it?

00:11:57.220 I suppose.

00:11:58.320 But it's just more of like a target.

00:12:00.380 Oh, yeah.

00:12:00.940 You know, it's like at the, we're already getting called rent-a-cops and everything else

00:12:04.360 in the book. 0.98

00:12:04.760 Yeah, f*** or whatever. 0.99

00:12:05.440 Yeah. 0.99

00:12:05.740 You know, it's like.

00:12:06.260 Sorry. 0.99

00:12:07.080 I'm shit. 1.00

00:12:07.700 I don't give a f***. 1.00

00:12:08.440 Yeah, I don't care. 0.98

00:12:09.020 I mean, either. 0.98

00:12:09.540 But I've been called f*** all the time. 0.97

00:12:11.820 Oh, yeah. 0.99

00:12:12.260 But now they're like, oh, look at this f*** in that hat. 0.99

00:12:14.780 Yeah. 1.00

00:12:15.140 It's like, you're like, fuck, man. 1.00

00:12:16.680 I could have just. 1.00

00:12:17.080 I feel like you got me there.

00:12:18.160 Yeah. 0.99

00:12:18.560 You're like, f***, we were good. 0.99

00:12:19.860 Yeah. 0.99

00:12:20.220 Now the hat. 1.00

00:12:21.240 F*** me. 0.99

00:12:22.080 And it's like, you can't even deny that. 1.00

00:12:23.620 You could argue back with like, well, you're a f***. 1.00

00:12:25.740 Well, look at your shoes. 1.00

00:12:26.960 And then all you have to do is go.

00:12:29.220 You have a Mountie hat on.

00:12:30.640 Yeah. 1.00

00:12:30.980 You're a Canadian f***. 1.00

00:12:32.260 And then on top of it, here's the worst part. 1.00

00:12:35.440 Some malls will do the stripes and like, I've been here for two years.

00:12:40.180 I got a stripe.

00:12:41.060 You know, I got me a little lieutenant stripes.

00:12:42.800 Like, lieutenant of what? 0.94

00:12:44.260 The f***ing food court? 0.95

00:12:45.620 You know? 0.98

00:12:46.120 Like, who cares?

00:12:47.460 But those are some of the malls.

00:12:49.140 I've dealt with a few malls.

00:12:50.420 And one of the malls I had to deal with the Mountie hats and the stripes.

00:12:53.140 They give you stripes for how many years you've been there?

00:12:54.640 Mm-hmm.

00:12:55.060 Wow.

00:12:55.580 Yeah.

00:12:55.780 And one guy had like six. 0.99

00:12:56.800 I was like, you need a f***ing life, brother. 0.98

00:13:00.040 All decorated. 0.99

00:13:00.820 Looked like a general and s***. 0.97

00:13:01.960 He's serious, huh? 0.98

00:13:03.240 Yeah.

00:13:04.100 And then he was the one on the Mountie hat who had, like, if you look at them, they have

00:13:09.040 like these little like ropes or something that's on.

00:13:12.420 I don't know what they're actually called.

00:13:14.000 His was gold.

00:13:15.020 Out of every, like everyone had black ones.

00:13:17.040 They were gray hats with black.

00:13:18.100 He had to have a gold robe.

00:13:19.340 Because he was the leader or something?

00:13:20.600 He was just there.

00:13:21.180 He wasn't even the supervisor.

00:13:22.460 He was just there the longest.

00:13:23.880 Yeah.

00:13:24.160 It's like, okay, like, you know.

00:13:28.140 10-4, yeah.

00:13:29.200 And what kind of tactical gear do you guys have?

00:13:33.920 It depends on how they want you dressed.

00:13:37.660 I've had to do the whole get up to where I, like, I've been an armed security guard.

00:13:41.580 So I've had to wear guns and stuff and the holsters and bulletproof vests and all that

00:13:46.600 just because of what was going on in the situation.

00:13:49.120 And those are fun.

00:13:50.200 It's fun to dress up like G.I.

00:13:51.460 Joe because, you know, I'm 45.

00:13:52.620 So it's like I get to play out a little kid fantasy something.

00:13:56.120 I'm like, man, I kind of want to do this when I was a kid. 0.99

00:13:58.280 And I'm just like, yeah, fuck yeah, you know. 0.99

00:13:59.700 Yeah. 1.00

00:14:00.060 All teched up.

00:14:01.880 When I worked dispensaries, I used to work a lot of dispensaries this past 10 years too. 0.98

00:14:06.100 We were all teched up and tacked out and looking like SWAT and shit until the real cops came. 0.92

00:14:11.460 And they're like, what are you doing playing dress up? 0.98

00:14:13.120 You know, selling weed.

00:14:14.700 But are, wait, are mall cops allowed to carry weapons?

00:14:19.620 At one point we were.

00:14:21.500 And then one point we were not.

00:14:24.100 We were allowed to carry batons and what, pre-rolls or whatever?

00:14:29.040 Yeah, it's basically, it's like, it's either I'm going to beat you or here, smoke this. 1.00

00:14:32.580 You know, fuck. 1.00

00:14:33.700 But you guys had a baton? 1.00

00:14:35.000 Like, my era was like the last era of being able to carry a baton.

00:14:40.400 Yeah. 0.98

00:14:40.800 And what's funny in California, like, say you fucking come running out and I have a gun and a baton. 1.00

00:14:47.260 If I shoot you in the leg, I'm good. 1.00

00:14:50.040 If I hit you with that baton, LA riots all over. 1.00

00:14:55.580 There, see? 0.96

00:14:56.880 Wow, the baton, was it heavy?

00:14:58.960 Oh, yeah, it's about an eight pound stick.

00:15:01.260 Like, I'm just, and they, there were some guys that would actually teach you how to use the baton and stuff.

00:15:05.900 And it's like, they get you on this wrist thing and bend you all up. 0.97

00:15:08.760 And you're like, oh, shit, can I just hit him with it? 0.97

00:15:10.420 You know, like, I'm like, nah, you have to use it tactically. 1.00

00:15:13.200 That's what they said?

00:15:14.020 Did you ever get to hit somebody with it?

00:15:15.360 I threw somebody one time.

00:15:16.940 Yeah. 0.99

00:15:17.340 Yeah, it was like right out of the fucking movies, too. 0.99

00:15:19.720 You hit him? 1.00

00:15:20.460 In the legs and he tripped and he fell and we beat the shit out of him. 0.99

00:15:23.620 It's okay. 0.99

00:15:24.000 It was, man, it was a long time ago.

00:15:25.200 How long ago was it? 1.00

00:15:26.040 Oh, shit. 1.00

00:15:27.400 No, shit, early 20s. 1.00

00:15:29.780 So, like, 2020 or 2003, maybe, something like that. 0.99

00:15:33.180 What's the statute of limitations on that, you think?

00:15:36.860 Mall abuse or whatever.

00:15:39.700 Non-sexual.

00:15:42.200 Those are the best, though.

00:15:44.220 Ten years.

00:15:45.180 You're good.

00:15:47.060 You're good, dude.

00:15:48.160 All right.

00:15:48.420 So, I threw this baton at this guy, right?

00:15:50.800 Now, he was running out the store.

00:15:52.800 Somebody's like, hey, you know, thief.

00:15:54.560 And I was like, and I swear to you, I don't know what movie clicked in my head.

00:15:58.640 I was like, grab your baton, throw it.

00:16:01.200 I just threw it and I said, and it made the little noise and everything, clipped him in

00:16:06.320 the leg.

00:16:06.660 He tripped. 0.99

00:16:07.080 And I was like, in my soul, I was like, I fucking did it. 0.90

00:16:11.640 And by the time I realized that my guys were already on him, I'm like, yeah, that was awesome. 0.96

00:16:15.900 But yeah, you do that now, you're going, like, as a security guard, you might go to jail.

00:16:20.180 Yeah. 0.99

00:16:20.520 That sucks. 0.98

00:16:21.300 Well, now it's so crazy. 1.00

00:16:22.460 Literally, a thief can be like, watch this asshole security guard try to stop me from getting 1.00

00:16:29.400 what I need. 1.00

00:16:30.160 And you're like, you just totally rephrased stealing.

00:16:33.520 Right.

00:16:33.780 Okay. 0.99

00:16:34.280 And why are you fucking filming this? 0.99

00:16:37.260 Like, yes, things have definitely gotten really ridiculous out there. 0.99

00:16:40.640 That's for sure, man.

00:16:42.020 So outside of the baton, did you guys, was there taser ever?

00:16:45.100 Was there any smoke screens or smoke bombs or flares or baby flares or anything like that?

00:16:52.200 Not smoke bombs.

00:16:53.560 We used fart bombs.

00:16:54.960 Really?

00:16:55.380 Yeah.

00:16:55.680 The little, like, fart ones, if the crowd was, like, too much, like, it wasn't a legal

00:17:02.140 tactical move, old school move, but instead of, like, you know, like, hey, everyone clear 0.99

00:17:06.720 out, we wouldn't say shit. 0.99

00:17:08.760 Just throw one of those fart things on the ground or something? 1.00

00:17:11.440 Oh, the stink bombs.

00:17:12.420 They were called stink bombs.

00:17:13.660 We throw a stink bomb on the ground, cleared. 1.00

00:17:16.140 Not a word, not a fucking word out of our mouth. 1.00

00:17:18.220 And were those government issued or whatever? 0.99

00:17:20.120 No, those were out of the ice cream truck on the way to work.

00:17:24.120 Oh, they sold them there?

00:17:24.780 Oh, yeah.

00:17:25.260 The ice cream truck?

00:17:25.900 Oh, yeah.

00:17:26.100 You're like, oh, let me get a bubble gum ice cream and some stink bombs. 1.00

00:17:29.360 Those are the good ice cream trucks when they have the cap guns still, you know?

00:17:32.420 Gang. 0.66

00:17:32.860 Yeah.

00:17:33.160 I didn't know they had all of that.

00:17:35.040 Yeah, we just got the sweets or whatever.

00:17:36.440 I don't think ours had kind of a, you know, violence section or whatever, semi-violence.

00:17:44.040 This security guard filmed all his farts for six months.

00:17:47.460 You ever meet him? 0.99

00:17:48.460 No, but damn, where is he at? 1.00

00:17:50.440 That's a fucking, that's a goal. 1.00

00:17:52.200 I'm going to go seven. 1.00

00:17:53.200 He got fired for it.

00:17:54.780 Paul Flart, he called himself.

00:17:57.060 Why would he get fired?

00:17:59.060 I don't know.

00:17:59.660 You can't fart anymore.

00:18:01.860 You kidding?

00:18:02.400 You can't do anything, man.

00:18:06.680 He really did.

00:18:11.380 Oh, yeah.

00:18:12.120 By the way, this is that dad I'm talking about that works.

00:18:18.260 I love this dude.

00:18:19.580 And he just.

00:18:21.340 His hair.

00:18:22.340 His hair and his mustache.

00:18:23.420 One cool thing about a ball is, though, honestly, it's got the perfect acoustics.

00:18:35.540 It really does.

00:18:36.700 For a fart to just rock the fricking Casbah in there. 0.98

00:18:40.080 Especially if you have, like, that back alley of, like, behind the stores where you do all

00:18:44.800 the deliveries, you can get some good echoes in there.

00:18:47.020 Oh.

00:18:47.500 Yeah.

00:18:47.900 It's a real farter's paradise back in there.

00:18:51.540 So take me on a typical mall shift, man.

00:18:53.640 You get there.

00:18:54.680 You.

00:18:55.640 Get there.

00:18:56.120 Clock in.

00:18:58.120 Clock in. 0.99

00:18:58.960 Usually take a shit or go smoke because we don't do that for free. 0.99

00:19:02.820 You have to do that on the clock. 1.00

00:19:03.980 Yeah.

00:19:04.140 You got to get paid.

00:19:05.560 Did you have a strategy meeting or anything like that?

00:19:07.600 Yeah.

00:19:07.840 We used a little powwow.

00:19:08.980 All right, guys.

00:19:09.560 You know, we're going to have a good day today.

00:19:12.360 Get out there and do your job.

00:19:16.100 Our powwows for mall security wasn't that much.

00:19:18.700 Really?

00:19:19.080 Nah.

00:19:19.220 Is there ever any intel that comes in that's like, hey, we got this to worry about or there's

00:19:22.380 like a drug group passing through?

00:19:23.980 Anything like that?

00:19:24.400 Yeah.

00:19:24.560 Sometimes we would get, like, a stack of papers on our thing and there would be, like, 0.68

00:19:27.500 pictures of, like, some random Asian dude stealing, like, cologne or some shit. 0.95

00:19:31.460 And you're like, watch out for, you know, him. 0.98

00:19:32.980 And you're like, okay.

00:19:33.600 And, you know, you never see him ever because he already done stole.

00:19:37.060 So there are those moments, though, where you get, like, a paper and you're like, hey,

00:19:41.720 mall's most wanted or something. 0.99

00:19:43.060 And he walks by you and you're just like, fuck, yeah. 0.99

00:19:45.620 You know, this is my moment right here. 0.99

00:19:47.220 Really?

00:19:47.620 Yeah.

00:19:48.260 And then.

00:19:48.720 Like, take me on one of those kind of.

00:19:50.200 So you, like, okay.

00:19:51.140 So sometimes they'll make a big deal out of it.

00:19:53.380 Like, hey, there's a small guy.

00:19:54.580 He's going around. 1.00

00:19:55.320 He's stealing a bunch of shit. 1.00

00:19:56.220 Here's pictures of him. 1.00

00:19:57.080 Okay.

00:19:57.940 Like the wet bandits or whatever. 0.85

00:19:59.640 Hell yeah. 0.97

00:20:00.720 Shout out wet bandits. 0.92

00:20:01.600 But something like that.

00:20:03.120 You know what I'm saying?

00:20:03.380 Like a guy that's made a name for himself.

00:20:05.060 Yep.

00:20:06.280 Props stealing from malls.

00:20:08.220 Yeah.

00:20:08.360 We had one guy who was.

00:20:09.380 I bring up the clone thing because he was actually a cologne thief. 0.99

00:20:12.280 He would steal all the samples without the lids and shit. 0.95

00:20:14.640 So he would get all these samples and just run off. 0.99

00:20:17.260 But we got.

00:20:18.300 A little sample, baby, huh?

00:20:18.940 He was Asian?

00:20:19.840 Yeah.

00:20:20.300 Oh, God.

00:20:21.180 He was.

00:20:21.580 Yeah.

00:20:21.920 I actually bought some from him after the fact.

00:20:24.860 Seen him on the.

00:20:25.220 Some stolen ones from him?

00:20:26.400 Yeah.

00:20:28.600 And they're only 15 bucks.

00:20:29.840 I seen him on the trolley.

00:20:30.980 I was like, hey, dude, were you the one stealing cologne?

00:20:33.040 He's like, yeah.

00:20:34.600 Which one do you want? 1.00

00:20:35.300 And I was like, fuck, man. 1.00

00:20:36.080 Let me get that CK1. 0.99

00:20:37.720 Oh, CK1 wasn't too bad, huh?

00:20:39.220 No, it wasn't.

00:20:39.920 Not at all.

00:20:40.420 God, they had some good colognes back then.

00:20:42.620 I remember they had aqua.

00:20:47.060 Aqua Di Gio.

00:20:48.060 Aqua Di Gio, dude.

00:20:49.640 I'm actually wearing the black Aqua Di Gio right now.

00:20:51.700 Really?

00:20:52.160 Yes, sir.

00:20:52.580 They came out with black?

00:20:53.660 Yeah.

00:20:53.900 It was a darker little bottle or something.

00:20:56.380 Wow.

00:20:57.280 Yeah, dude.

00:20:57.800 Yes, sir.

00:20:58.200 That one right there.

00:20:59.020 That fourth one right there.

00:21:00.120 I felt.

00:21:00.680 I just was always so ashamed of myself as a child.

00:21:02.540 I never felt like I deserved to smell good.

00:21:04.600 No.

00:21:04.820 You even wore cool water?

00:21:06.220 No. 0.99

00:21:06.720 Cool water was for brothers or kids that were fucking, you know? 0.99

00:21:10.200 I wasn't wearing that. 0.97

00:21:11.140 What would I wear?

00:21:11.900 I would sometimes get some Old Spice from my dad, and then I would also put like, what

00:21:19.160 would I do?

00:21:19.480 I would rub like, what was it that had kind of, oh, deodorant.

00:21:25.540 I would just put deodorant on the outside of my arms, or like right here or whatever,

00:21:29.100 because my mom taught us, you know, we watched my mom do perfumes or whatever. 0.94

00:21:34.700 Okay, so you're at work.

00:21:35.800 You guys have had a strategy meeting, right? 0.99

00:21:37.660 We got the paper, we see, we'll just use, we'll say Bobby Lee stole some fucking cologne, 1.00

00:21:43.780 so we're like, all right, cool, Bobby Lee, he's the fucking guy. 1.00

00:21:46.820 Purps. 0.99

00:21:47.260 What do y'all call it, is there a term y'all use? 1.00

00:21:50.180 This fucking guy. 1.00

00:21:51.680 Yes, man. 1.00

00:21:52.740 This fucking guy, man. 1.00

00:21:53.720 We're going to get him. 1.00

00:21:55.760 No, we didn't, like, a lot of us didn't try to use the whole cop terms and stuff like 0.93

00:21:59.180 that, because then he kind of looked like the douchebag, you know? 0.88

00:22:01.340 Right. 0.98

00:22:01.620 So we just leave it to the guy who tucks his pants in his boots, like, the perp is here.

00:22:04.620 It's like, Bobby Lee's here, and that's all it is, you know?

00:22:07.360 Yeah. 0.99

00:22:07.800 So literally the one day that the perp walked by, I kind of was like, holy shit, this is 0.98

00:22:14.260 him, you know? 0.99

00:22:15.000 That's him.

00:22:15.400 So I radioed it in, you know, did my whole gust to the headquarters, and they're like,

00:22:19.300 what's up?

00:22:19.600 I'm like, yo, Bobby Lee's here. 0.99

00:22:21.040 And they're like, no shit? 0.97

00:22:21.820 I'm like, yeah, why don't you come here? 0.99

00:22:23.280 So they started watching him on the camera.

00:22:24.820 We started following him, and they're like, just let him steal first.

00:22:28.000 And this was back in the day of, like, we can touch you, grab you, throw you, you know?

00:22:31.600 So we followed him into, like, I think it was Macy's, and he walked right into Macy's,

00:22:37.800 and he had no hesitation.

00:22:39.640 He started grabbing cologne, and just started putting it in his belt.

00:22:42.560 And you're watching him?

00:22:43.440 Yeah.

00:22:43.780 From how far away?

00:22:44.500 Like, were you guys strategically located somewhere?

00:22:47.420 I actually took my shirt off, because I just wore dickies. 1.00

00:22:50.740 So I don't know if you guys know what dickies are.

00:22:52.100 There's black pants. 0.83

00:22:52.640 Totally, dude.

00:22:53.320 Yeah.

00:22:53.580 So I just wore dickies.

00:22:54.440 I didn't wear the uniform. 0.99

00:22:54.700 Mexican freaking wedding wear. 1.00

00:22:56.160 Fuck, yeah. 1.00

00:22:56.500 So as soon as I took that off, his white shirt and dickies looked like I was from San Diego, 1.00

00:23:00.500 you know?

00:23:00.840 Yeah.

00:23:00.900 So I was walking by.

00:23:02.080 And he's doing his thing, man.

00:23:03.340 So you were undercover, pretty much.

00:23:04.600 Yeah.

00:23:05.140 I did a lot of undercover work at the mall. 1.00

00:23:07.060 Take your shit off, he just looked like an SA from MS, and he was like, good to go. 1.00

00:23:10.800 And so I see him. 1.00

00:23:13.160 He's stealing the shit, and I call back, and I said, what are we doing? 0.99

00:23:17.480 He goes, grab him. 1.00

00:23:19.380 Fucking just grab him. 1.00

00:23:20.940 We grab him. 1.00

00:23:21.880 Who grabs him?

00:23:22.680 You?

00:23:23.020 I grab him.

00:23:23.600 No, I grab him.

00:23:24.000 Okay, well, take me, and you're making the move on him to see you coming.

00:23:26.760 Did he come in from the back?

00:23:27.700 He actually saw me walk by.

00:23:29.000 He kind of gave me a nod, and I was like, because I gave him the look, like, hey, man, 1.00

00:23:31.820 steal that shit right on, you know? 1.00

00:23:33.560 Like, keep going. 1.00

00:23:34.980 I never was like, I would never give myself away.

00:23:37.100 So I walked around, and as soon as I said, grab him, I literally just walked up, grabbed

00:23:40.800 him by the shoulder, and said, hey, man, you're coming with me.

00:23:43.360 You know, I gave him the whole, like, you're coming with me, because it was my first

00:23:45.840 time actually just, like, apprehending somebody in the act.

00:23:48.780 And how long have you been a mall cop at that point until you got to apprehend this guy?

00:23:51.840 Probably about three years, and.

00:23:54.000 So I was just waiting.

00:23:55.140 It was my moment. 1.00

00:23:55.940 Waiting to grab this fucking guy. 1.00

00:23:57.020 Yeah, I snatched him up. 1.00

00:23:58.280 Hey, man, you're coming with me.

00:23:59.640 That's what you said?

00:24:00.360 I was like, hey, man.

00:24:00.840 Yeah, I was like, hey, man, you're coming with me.

00:24:02.820 The whole, like, the whole just nine, you know?

00:24:04.960 I was like, you're coming with me.

00:24:06.460 Lifted up his shoulders.

00:24:07.180 I was like, what do you think you're doing?

00:24:08.140 And he's like, and he just looked up and goes, oh, I'm sorry, but.

00:24:11.000 You put him on the ground?

00:24:12.520 Yeah, I tripped him on his leg, like, because we were backing up, and he's trying to lead

00:24:15.400 forward.

00:24:16.200 And any type of movement you do away from me, you're resisting.

00:24:19.400 Yeah. 0.99

00:24:19.620 We're fucking going down. 0.99

00:24:23.160 We're going forward, I just snatched his leg, we went down, I think one of the bottles 0.99

00:24:27.180 broke, because it just started smelling like fucking cologne badly. 0.99

00:24:29.880 Guilty. 1.00

00:24:30.620 Yeah, it literally, I was like, oh, shit. 0.99

00:24:33.080 It's because when we were in the office writing him up, and the cops were coming, he just smelled 0.99

00:24:37.320 like whatever cologne broke on him.

00:24:39.460 Everybody in there smelled, yeah.

00:24:41.440 Yeah, but.

00:24:41.840 Like aftershave or whatever.

00:24:42.960 But it was literally one of my best moments as a mall cop, just because I was like, I got

00:24:48.980 him.

00:24:49.160 And I saw the picture, and within an hour, there he was. 0.99

00:24:54.020 And I was like, my fucking golden goose, you're mine. 0.99

00:24:56.500 You know what I mean? 1.00

00:24:57.240 So it was good.

00:24:58.400 I loved it.

00:24:59.200 Now, do you then have to go prosecute?

00:25:01.540 You have to do a citizen's arrest.

00:25:03.960 You do a citizen's arrest.

00:25:06.160 You do all that.

00:25:07.160 So you guys take him where?

00:25:08.380 So you guys take him into the back room.

00:25:10.640 Do you have him wrapped up or tied up?

00:25:12.500 No, we just put a zip tie on his hand.

00:25:15.620 I had these big-ass industrial zip ties, and we usually used to leave them on this hook.

00:25:19.420 We never used them.

00:25:20.940 We only used them if we brought somebody into the office that needed one.

00:25:24.300 So I was like, hey, man, stick your hands out.

00:25:25.600 And then he looked at me. 1.00

00:25:27.120 He's like, oh, shit. 1.00

00:25:28.120 I'm like, yeah. 1.00

00:25:29.400 And I was like, are they too tight?

00:25:30.540 And he goes, no.

00:25:31.320 I'm like, oh.

00:25:31.820 And I zipped him a little bit more, because I didn't want him. 1.00

00:25:34.160 You know, I was like, fuck him. 1.00

00:25:35.060 Oh, that's crazy when you're asking if they're too tight. 1.00

00:25:37.780 It's obvious that, yeah.

00:25:39.440 Like, this is.

00:25:40.600 But he, you know, he's a little tighter, won't you?

00:25:42.760 You know, he felt some shame that day.

00:25:44.920 And I was just like, the clone bandit was mine.

00:25:47.400 We never saw him again, you know?

00:25:49.040 And do you then turn him over to the police?

00:25:50.700 What's that like?

00:25:52.240 That's the lame part.

00:25:54.200 You got to call them.

00:25:55.640 And it's like, they're not rushing to come handle this, you know? 0.99

00:25:58.680 So nine times out of 10, you're sitting there with Bobby, just shooting shit for like two hours. 0.99

00:26:03.460 You know, like, so, man, why do you steal? 0.98

00:26:05.580 And then by the time you've already, like, counseled him, you want to let him go.

00:26:11.000 I actually wanted to let him go.

00:26:12.700 But it was already in, like, we were already in motion. 0.99

00:26:15.160 When I was like, bro, you fucked up, you know? 1.00

00:26:16.740 Like, I already had to fuck you up. 1.00

00:26:18.200 And now the cops are coming. 1.00

00:26:19.920 The first 10 minutes, it was like, they're coming to get you, man. 1.00

00:26:22.380 You're so fucked. 1.00

00:26:23.960 You know, in 20 minutes, it was like, are you thirsty, man? 1.00

00:26:26.640 Like, you know?

00:26:27.540 So about, literally, cops took about two hours to get there.

00:26:30.420 And by the time they got there, they're like, all right, so what's going on?

00:26:33.660 It's like, oh, this guy was stealing, blah, blah, blah.

00:26:35.280 He's the clone bandit.

00:26:36.540 You know, we got, he's like, okay, so come with us.

00:26:39.460 And then that was it.

00:26:40.280 It was like, there was no fireworks at the end of this show, you know?

00:26:43.660 It was pretty, that's why I said it's pretty lame when you call them to come take them away. 0.94

00:26:47.660 Because it's like, you want them to drag them out and beat the shit out of them, too, you know? 0.96

00:26:52.400 Just give them a little extra. 1.00

00:26:53.720 Fuck them, you know? 1.00

00:26:54.500 Fuck yeah. 1.00

00:26:54.840 Fuck them. 1.00

00:26:55.780 Fuck yeah, dude. 1.00

00:26:56.980 You got it. 1.00

00:26:57.480 Somebody has to get beaten.

00:26:58.540 There's something about game time.

00:27:03.960 If you're going to a concert, like I did recently, I went to see the Grateful Dead and Company at the Sphere.

00:27:09.940 If you're going to see a sporting event or an entertainment type of deal,

00:27:16.620 well, game time makes getting tickets for concerts and events faster and easier,

00:27:21.880 even if you don't buy tickets right away.

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00:28:33.260 You know, being a human adult has some pros and cons.

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00:30:11.480 And then what about, like, what is y'all's relationship with the cops like, you know? 0.99

00:30:17.020 They didn't like us too much just because we were a waste of their time, you know, calling them for stupid shit, stealing and all that. 0.98

00:30:25.140 Because if you catch somebody, like, back then, if you caught somebody, you had to hold them. 0.99

00:30:29.820 You know, it's different now.

00:30:30.680 You don't even call the cops nowadays. 0.98

00:30:31.900 I don't even know what the fuck they're doing now. 0.95

00:30:33.180 But they had that entitlement because we are cops. 1.00

00:30:38.240 Oh, they show up like you're big dogs?

00:30:39.820 Oh, yeah. 0.71

00:30:40.460 Do they look at you?

00:30:41.200 Yeah.

00:30:41.460 What's you guys' relationship like?

00:30:42.900 Is it simpatico or no?

00:30:45.680 No, not.

00:30:46.460 It was just like those movies.

00:30:47.600 What does simpatico mean?

00:30:48.420 Do you know?

00:30:48.920 No, actually, I don't.

00:30:49.920 Yeah.

00:30:50.120 Look it up real quick.

00:30:50.740 Do you mind?

00:30:51.680 Kind of threw me off on that one.

00:30:52.820 Sorry.

00:30:53.400 No, you're good.

00:30:54.240 I thought it was Spanish.

00:30:55.740 Likeable and easy to get along with.

00:30:56.840 Okay.

00:30:58.520 No, we didn't definitely get along.

00:30:59.960 It was like out of those movies, you know, when like the detectives are all sitting.

00:31:03.800 So like the regular cops are there.

00:31:06.000 So say we're the regular cops.

00:31:07.240 We got it going on.

00:31:08.340 It's our area.

00:31:09.040 And then the FBI walks in.

00:31:10.800 They're like, all right, guys, we're taking over. 0.99

00:31:13.700 Go handle the perimeter type shit. 0.99

00:31:15.380 And that was our relationship with them. 0.98

00:31:16.980 There was always like it wasn't too much like, oh, man, thanks a lot, guys, for doing your job. 0.98

00:31:22.520 And, you know, defending our country at the mall and shit. 0.99

00:31:25.420 It was just more like, fuck what, man? 1.00

00:31:27.900 Like I was not doing anything. 1.00

00:31:29.660 Now I'm doing something at the mall.

00:31:31.040 Yeah. 1.00

00:31:31.360 You know, it's like and I actually had a cop tell me one time this motherfucker. 1.00

00:31:35.380 I forget his name. 0.99

00:31:37.860 I had to give him a whole description of what was going on.

00:31:40.680 And the problem was, is we didn't even have the guy. 0.99

00:31:43.440 We had to just give a description of the guy who stole and the things he did to the car because he poured like some bleach on a car or some dumb shit. 0.93

00:31:50.760 But so we're giving him all this description and he literally turns at me and goes, yeah, if I wanted to be a mall cop, I would have been a mall cop and walked away. 1.00

00:31:59.360 I was like, fuck, man. 0.99

00:32:01.480 Like what? 1.00

00:32:01.980 And what was he having issues?

00:32:02.900 You guys were having issues with communication? 0.99

00:32:04.580 No, he just the list of shit that I was giving him and just got too long for him. 0.97

00:32:08.700 He was like, OK, so, yeah, I get it. 0.99

00:32:10.500 I get it.

00:32:10.800 So what was he wearing?

00:32:11.580 You know, and I was like, I told you that in the beginning.

00:32:13.460 You know, I was like, you could have cut that conversation off when you found out he was five, too.

00:32:17.040 You know, it's like, but I some of it has got to be crazy.

00:32:21.240 Like you got you, you know, you have a Chinese guy or whatever pinned up against the wall for like, you know, getting a pair of loafers or whatever.

00:32:28.760 And then the cop has to come. 0.98

00:32:30.060 He's like, what the fuck are we doing down here? 0.99

00:32:32.640 Yeah. 0.99

00:32:33.240 Trust me.

00:32:33.840 We were not on their radar of crime.

00:32:36.700 You know, I feel they wouldn't keep they wouldn't clue you guys in like what was going on in the community and stuff.

00:32:42.100 No, we didn't get no updates or nothing like that.

00:32:45.100 It was like, no, they were like, there's like we would know if there's a rapist in the area or anything or anything like that. 1.00

00:32:50.240 No, fuck. 0.98

00:32:50.880 They didn't care about us, you know, and you would think they would tell you if there was a rapist somewhere, because, I mean, first of all, one of the few places that everybody kind of goes sometimes is the mall. 1.00

00:33:01.660 Right.

00:33:02.260 Pretty much. 0.99

00:33:02.740 If you're a rapist, you still go to the mall. 0.99

00:33:05.580 You have to. 0.99

00:33:06.140 You have to buy clothes. 1.00

00:33:07.240 Well, you got you just everybody goes, you know, so it's like that's the kind of shit to me. 0.99

00:33:11.500 It's like you think you give those guys at least just information because they're just standing around all day. 0.99

00:33:17.460 A lot of cops will use our parking lots for the hangout. 1.00

00:33:20.060 You ever seen where like two cop cars like face each other?

00:33:22.300 Yeah.

00:33:22.840 That was like and you can't go near them.

00:33:24.740 You can't go, hey, Jim, what's going on? 1.00

00:33:26.380 Like, fuck away from us. 1.00

00:33:27.580 Really? 1.00

00:33:27.920 Yeah.

00:33:28.620 It was weird.

00:33:29.680 Like, they had this like whole bubble around them because they would always park in our parking lots.

00:33:33.160 Yeah. 0.99

00:33:33.420 Every mall I've ever worked at, there's always a pair of cops that will do the whole face in each other like, you know, shit. 1.00

00:33:40.320 Yeah. 0.99

00:33:40.880 Two cops touching fronts or whatever.

00:33:43.640 Tip the tip. 0.99

00:33:43.860 I love it. 0.99

00:33:44.340 You know, you just fuck yeah, guys, you know, but they didn't want us coming near them. 0.99

00:33:49.000 We're never allowed to talk to them or anything. 1.00

00:33:51.040 So we would just let them be in their little bubble.

00:33:53.820 What type of overall crime goes down at the mall?

00:33:56.900 Like, what type of crime are we talking about?

00:34:00.780 A lot of stealing.

00:34:02.100 Really?

00:34:02.580 A lot of stealing, of course.

00:34:03.980 And do you see people steal sometimes?

00:34:05.600 Like, you'll see them.

00:34:06.340 Can you tell after a while anybody could be a thief?

00:34:10.220 Anybody can be a thief.

00:34:11.880 Anybody. 1.00

00:34:12.480 Man, I've seen moms, you know, stick shit in like kids' backpacks, you know, on camera. 1.00

00:34:20.080 I'm like, what the fuck is going on here, you know? 1.00

00:34:23.820 Anybody can be a thief. 1.00

00:34:25.200 I've seen a group of sweet old Mexican ladies, you know, like, oh, and they're like, they're 1.00

00:34:30.760 inviting you over for dinner and shit and this and that and the other. 1.00

00:34:33.700 And you turn around, they're stealing the fucking car. 0.99

00:34:35.880 You're like, whoa, you know, like, like anybody can steal from the mall. 1.00

00:34:41.520 Damn. 0.99

00:34:44.240 Like vandalism. 0.99

00:34:46.360 That's not, that's not really like a everyday crime.

00:34:49.520 It's more of a crime when someone like gets thrown out of a store and you want to like 0.97

00:34:52.880 break their door, kick their windows in and shit. 0.98

00:34:55.380 Thinking you did something to a corporate company who's got millions of dollars. 1.00

00:34:58.640 Like, well, I broke your $100 window.

00:35:00.180 It's like, all right, cool.

00:35:00.940 We're just going to replace that.

00:35:02.560 You know, those are the crimes that we get at the mall sometimes.

00:35:07.880 Fights.

00:35:08.620 Fights are good. 0.98

00:35:09.720 Really?

00:35:10.080 Yeah.

00:35:10.300 Mall fights are good.

00:35:11.540 Do people go to the mall to fight?

00:35:13.100 You mean meeting at the mall to fight?

00:35:14.560 Or you're saying just things happen at the mall and a fight happens?

00:35:17.660 Like gang versus gang, you know, two to feet.

00:35:20.120 Oh, yeah.

00:35:20.520 Where at?

00:35:21.020 Where was this at?

00:35:22.000 Down in San Diego.

00:35:22.920 In San Diego.

00:35:23.540 Yeah, yeah.

00:35:24.720 Back in the day, like malls were always like where everyone just conjured up, you know,

00:35:30.380 all the gangs, all the crews, everyone like after school or the ditch parties would go

00:35:34.420 there.

00:35:35.500 And some groups just didn't get along, you know.

00:35:38.740 And next thing you know, you got this big fun riot brawl in the middle.

00:35:42.100 And back then, you were allowed to get in it and fight with them and throw them down and

00:35:45.800 stuff.

00:35:46.180 And those were fun.

00:35:48.020 Really?

00:35:48.720 Yeah.

00:35:49.660 Yeah, here's a mall.

00:35:51.240 These are kids.

00:35:53.440 Yeah, there's a lot of kids off of school.

00:35:57.720 These kids nowadays, man, they're ruthless.

00:35:59.900 I had it. 0.99

00:36:00.240 They're sick.

00:36:00.740 I was working at a high-end department store and this kid literally walked right up to 0.97

00:36:05.940 me.

00:36:06.160 He goes, do you work for the store or the mall?

00:36:10.000 And I was like, why?

00:36:12.380 And I could already tell he's about to steal all these Gucci belts.

00:36:14.940 I'm like, why?

00:36:16.100 He goes, because if you work for the store, you can't touch me.

00:36:19.760 And if you work for the mall, you can't chase me. 1.00

00:36:22.680 And I was like, fuck, bro. 1.00

00:36:24.160 Like, it's all you then, you know. 1.00

00:36:26.940 Fucker stole belts right in front of me. 1.00

00:36:28.320 I was like, get out of here, man. 1.00

00:36:29.760 Like, because you can't do anything.

00:36:31.980 Does it piss you off?

00:36:33.860 Eh, a little bit.

00:36:35.840 Just.

00:36:36.660 It feels disrespectful.

00:36:38.060 Yeah.

00:36:38.700 Like, right in your face.

00:36:39.820 And you're like. 1.00

00:36:40.500 That's trash. 1.00

00:36:41.380 It's like, fuck you, little fucker. 1.00

00:36:43.120 That's trash. 1.00

00:36:43.580 Just because you can't afford the belt, you know. 0.99

00:36:45.960 You don't come here and steal it.

00:36:47.040 It's just kind of.

00:36:47.620 And also, then if you're stealing something that's just a good.

00:36:51.180 And it's not like a.

00:36:52.260 It's a want, right?

00:36:53.320 It's not a need or something or a snack or something like that.

00:36:56.740 Milk, bread or something.

00:36:58.080 Um, oysters like that.

00:36:59.780 Then you're not.

00:37:00.700 You're.

00:37:02.080 It's your own choice at that point, you know.

00:37:04.080 Pretty much.

00:37:04.440 It's not you, like, needing to survive, you know.

00:37:07.060 It's just. 0.99

00:37:07.440 You don't need a Gucci belt to fucking pay, you know. 0.99

00:37:09.960 Yeah. 1.00

00:37:10.140 You can't eat a Gucci belt, man.

00:37:12.420 Who's at the mall anymore?

00:37:13.880 And how has that changed over time?

00:37:15.780 Oh, man.

00:37:16.340 So, from the early 2000s till now, it's definitely a huge change.

00:37:22.420 Everyone back then went to the mall, no matter what.

00:37:25.140 Oh, yeah.

00:37:25.840 I mean, you had the grandma.

00:37:27.000 Like, in the morning, in the beginning of the morning, if you find the right mall.

00:37:31.580 Like, I worked in a mall in Minnesota.

00:37:32.820 And that mall had, like, little mile markers through it. 0.99

00:37:36.660 And you get the whole old person group coming out and do their power walking and shit. 0.99

00:37:40.440 Oh, yeah. 0.98

00:37:41.040 I love that.

00:37:42.020 And so, those are the days where you would see that transition about 9, 10 a.m.

00:37:46.460 where all the old people leave. 1.00

00:37:48.420 And then you get the adults coming in, you know, like, get the sales and shit. 0.97

00:37:52.100 And then once noon hit, if it's a weekend, then the kids start piling in. 1.00

00:37:55.700 It's fucking, you know. 0.97

00:37:56.640 The mall was functional back then. 1.00

00:37:58.580 Yeah. 0.99

00:37:58.840 It was, like, people watching was fun fucking back then. 0.98

00:38:01.680 You know, like, it was fun to watch. 0.97

00:38:03.100 Now, I feel like nobody cool goes to the mall.

00:38:06.900 Like, and it's not like, I'm not saying it like that.

00:38:09.420 It's just like, you go to the mall now for, like, direct service.

00:38:13.100 You're like, all right, I'm going to here to get this, and I'm leaving.

00:38:15.740 A lot of people don't hang out at the mall no more.

00:38:18.600 It's not like, let's go to fucking Cinnabon and grab us some Wetzel's Pretzels. 0.89

00:38:22.900 You know, shout out to Wetzel's Pretzels, by the way. 0.95

00:38:24.560 By the way, if you notice, Wetzel's Pretzels you can only find in a mall, I swear.

00:38:28.160 Really?

00:38:28.640 Yeah.

00:38:29.060 Think about it.

00:38:31.120 Yeah.

00:38:31.460 Yeah.

00:38:32.080 That's cool.

00:38:32.780 Wow.

00:38:33.280 Mall food.

00:38:34.280 Yeah, mall food is definitely something.

00:38:36.600 Yeah, dude, the mall was such a place.

00:38:38.580 I mean, we would sleep overnight outside of there.

00:38:42.440 Hell, yeah.

00:38:43.000 We would, yeah, you're friends, you'd go.

00:38:47.320 I remember during summer camp, one of our field trips would be to the mall.

00:38:50.820 We'd all go to the mall.

00:38:52.680 People would wish in the fountains that we're at the mall, you know? 1.00

00:38:55.140 Oh, fuck. 1.00

00:38:56.100 They'd have, yeah, what else would we do there? 1.00

00:38:59.580 You'd just go on to see the different stores, walking down the mall.

00:39:02.240 You'd stop at that candy store that had all the different candies.

00:39:04.700 You'd go in the Bed Bath & Beyond or the Candle store and do that.

00:39:08.860 Or the Disney store.

00:39:10.260 The Disney.

00:39:10.840 Disney store, dog. 1.00

00:39:11.940 The fucking Disney store. 1.00

00:39:13.320 That shit was fucking clutch. 1.00

00:39:14.780 Mexicans love that store, too, eh? 1.00

00:39:16.240 Fuck yeah. 1.00

00:39:16.920 Why, bro? 1.00

00:39:17.620 Fuck yeah. 1.00

00:39:19.120 Why, though? 1.00

00:39:19.940 Really?

00:39:20.580 I liked it, bro.

00:39:21.940 It's not racist if it's true, and I stick by this.

00:39:24.280 If you can't afford to go to Disneyland, then the Disney store was the next best thing. 0.99

00:39:28.600 They had little fucking things. 0.99

00:39:29.940 I love the Disney store, man. 1.00

00:39:32.120 The Disney store was so good, bro.

00:39:33.880 The original Disney store.

00:39:36.280 They still have them, but the OG Disney stores, when they were like, hi, welcome in, and Tinkerbell 0.98

00:39:42.240 would come flying by, and you're like, fuck it, I'm here. 0.98

00:39:44.740 Dude, you're right, bro. 1.00

00:39:46.520 There was nothing like the Disney store.

00:39:48.180 We used to get, they used to have the shirts with the characters coming out of the pocket.

00:39:53.660 Goofy would hang off.

00:39:54.740 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:39:55.460 That was a big thing, man.

00:39:57.040 I remember I'd get my siblings Christmas gifts and stuff from there.

00:40:00.760 A lot of times nightgowns or something.

00:40:02.320 You could get your sister, like, something she wanted, you know.

00:40:05.700 Oh, dude, yeah.

00:40:06.740 Yeah. 0.99

00:40:07.240 Hey, one time, hey, no bullshit. 0.95

00:40:08.600 One time, me and my friend, Young Dave, shout out Young Dave, love you. 0.99

00:40:12.700 YKD, Young King Dave, not that guy that died from smoking weed, huh?

00:40:15.400 No, no, no.

00:40:16.180 You know what I'm talking about?

00:40:16.860 Yeah, I heard about that.

00:40:17.780 Young King Dave, bring him up.

00:40:19.620 Pull up Young King Dave, bro.

00:40:21.160 R.I.P., dude.

00:40:23.020 Smoking big doinks. 0.99

00:40:24.900 He died from smoking weed, huh?

00:40:26.380 Yeah, yeah.

00:40:26.980 Yeah, he was, like, smoking weed.

00:40:28.000 He smoked a joint backwards or something, and he had asbestos or whatever, and it killed him.

00:40:31.680 What?

00:40:32.080 Dave James, Young King Dave Nixon, passed away at 19.

00:40:38.120 Where was he always smoking out?

00:40:42.180 This is years ago.

00:40:43.960 His manager, Chris Clemenza.

00:40:46.260 I used to message with him for a while, bro.

00:40:48.060 I was a big fan of him.

00:40:49.540 Oh, wow.

00:40:50.180 Smoking big doinks out in where, did he say? 0.71

00:40:52.220 Hell, yeah.

00:40:52.660 Play the audio? 0.86

00:40:55.740 Out here in Amish, smoking big doinks in Amish. 1.00

00:41:00.100 Fuck, yeah. 1.00

00:41:04.360 Big old doinks. 1.00

00:41:05.720 He'd be smoking big doinks out there in Amish, dude, and he'd get, um... 1.00

00:41:09.920 Gang. 0.66

00:41:10.860 And he died. 1.00

00:41:12.040 Damn. 1.00

00:41:12.400 He had, uh... 1.00

00:41:13.760 He smoked.

00:41:14.440 He just smoked all the time, I think, and I want to say he died.

00:41:17.140 I want to get this right.

00:41:19.600 What did he die of?

00:41:20.860 Do you know?

00:41:21.100 Play that one more.

00:41:22.180 Play one more where he was smoking a joint.

00:41:24.080 We used to have guys like that work security with us.

00:41:26.120 Really?

00:41:26.500 Oh, yeah.

00:41:26.820 They were the best.

00:41:28.320 They always bring the weave. 1.00

00:41:30.800 It's fucking nice out. 0.98

00:41:32.220 Who's trying to chill? 0.98

00:41:33.080 Smoke something loud, feel me? 1.00

00:41:34.460 Fuck, yeah. 1.00

00:41:34.940 I got loud. 1.00

00:41:38.720 Hit my line.

00:41:39.700 Either DM me or hit my line, bro.

00:41:43.280 I got loud.

00:41:44.020 I'm trying to smoke.

00:41:45.840 Just smoke it, then.

00:41:48.060 You know?

00:41:48.740 But, yeah, that was a beautiful time.

00:41:50.240 Oh, a collapsed lung is what got him.

00:41:52.060 God.

00:41:54.860 Complications from a collapsed lung.

00:41:57.340 He did have loud, dude. 1.00

00:41:58.860 He blew his fucking... 1.00

00:42:00.700 Yeah, but that also comes from all those vapes that kids smoke nowadays. 1.00

00:42:03.780 And adults smoke them, too, like me and other people.

00:42:06.300 You smoke the vape?

00:42:06.920 Like, let's not say that, but yeah, I do.

00:42:09.960 I've been on and off it.

00:42:11.240 You know, you try your best.

00:42:12.380 But, yeah, shout out YKD, bro.

00:42:14.860 I just...

00:42:15.360 Yeah, he was like one of the first dudes to kind of go viral.

00:42:18.580 And he was always smoking big doinks out there.

00:42:21.860 And that's what killed him. 0.99

00:42:23.500 He would literally drive all over just meeting people to smoke weed and shit. 0.99

00:42:27.280 What a great guy. 0.99

00:42:28.380 He got too big to get in his car or whatever.

00:42:31.060 He was always eating.

00:42:31.940 There he is at a mall.

00:42:33.880 Hell, yeah.

00:42:34.380 What'd he say?

00:42:35.620 Hey, yo. 0.99

00:42:36.460 Oh, KG, where the bitches at, bro? 1.00

00:42:42.920 Oh, yeah. 1.00

00:42:43.960 He almost died right there.

00:42:45.240 They got Nathan's in a mall? 1.00

00:42:46.600 That's a great fucking mall. 0.99

00:42:49.440 So, yeah, just seeing something like that is great, man. 0.99

00:42:52.160 But go back to the Disney story.

00:42:53.760 Yeah, let's go back.

00:42:54.560 Oh, dude, yeah.

00:42:55.200 Start from the beginning of that, man.

00:42:56.640 Oh.

00:42:57.280 Dude, when you walk in.

00:42:59.060 Yes.

00:43:00.660 And it had that smell.

00:43:01.680 It had that good Disney smell.

00:43:05.380 Well, it was very organized.

00:43:07.080 Things were kind of pricey in there a little bit.

00:43:08.940 So, it had, like, some esteem.

00:43:11.420 You could get something small, like a keychain.

00:43:13.700 But you could get something like ice skates or something, you know.

00:43:16.700 Oh, yeah.

00:43:17.060 A princess dress.

00:43:17.900 The whole nine. 1.00

00:43:18.420 All that shit. 1.00

00:43:19.000 If you had a child or a little daughter or somebody, you could take them in there. 1.00

00:43:22.800 That was a pretty high-end store, I felt like, for the mall as far as children's paraphernalia.

00:43:31.900 Hey, that, I'll never forget that bundle of plush. 0.98

00:43:35.020 There was always, like, a big area of, like, all the stuffed animals and shit. 0.95

00:43:38.700 Oh, man, I used to just kind of give it a hug, you know? 0.98

00:43:40.560 Yeah.

00:43:41.140 You have to.

00:43:41.740 They had that nice stuff.

00:43:42.940 Now, Disney showed up with a quality stuffed animal.

00:43:45.960 I think Applause was the company that made a lot of their stuff.

00:43:50.020 The parent company or whatever that made the stuffed animals.

00:43:53.560 But, yeah, dude, when the Disney store came.

00:43:56.480 Me and my friend got kicked out of a Disney store.

00:43:58.800 Inside, I don't know.

00:43:59.580 You remember the little theater that was inside for kids to kind of, like, crawl in?

00:44:03.120 And there was, like, they would show old Disney movies.

00:44:05.000 Inside there?

00:44:05.700 Yeah.

00:44:06.040 Oh, it was for children.

00:44:06.760 I didn't go in there.

00:44:07.780 Yeah, well, I slid in there one time to roll a blunt real quick and hurried up, got that done. 0.99

00:44:13.380 But then I got stuck watching the fucking cartoons. 0.99

00:44:15.500 And the lady was like, hey, keep it moving, guys. 1.00

00:44:18.580 Yeah, dude.

00:44:19.360 Sorry, we're just, like, Mickey Mouse, man. 0.99

00:44:21.160 I mean, mall type shit, homie. 1.00

00:44:23.840 That's what it is, dude. 1.00

00:44:26.560 Yeah, what other stores?

00:44:27.860 Now, what about Build-A-Bear?

00:44:29.280 Were you there when that came out?

00:44:30.560 Oh, yeah, yeah.

00:44:31.460 And what kind of clientele would you see over there, brother?

00:44:35.220 Mostly the white folk.

00:44:36.520 Was it really?

00:44:37.000 Yeah.

00:44:37.540 Build-A-Bear's a white thing?

00:44:38.360 Yeah, yeah.

00:44:39.680 I would say so, a little bit.

00:44:41.620 You know, it's an experience.

00:44:42.800 It's fun.

00:44:43.280 You know what I mean?

00:44:45.720 Here's a store for you.

00:44:47.280 Sharper Image. 1.00

00:44:48.920 That was the fucking jam right there. 0.99

00:44:51.400 Sharper Image was, like, by far. 0.99

00:44:54.360 I think Sharper Image was the reason I got a mall job, actually.

00:44:57.640 Wow. 1.00

00:44:58.060 No shit. 1.00

00:44:58.900 Oh, yeah. 0.99

00:44:59.440 It was where the future.

00:45:00.500 It's where Elon Musk was born. 1.00

00:45:02.040 Fuck yeah, bro. 1.00

00:45:02.680 Sharper Image was it. 1.00

00:45:03.460 Dude, wasn't he born in a Sharper Image? 1.00

00:45:05.980 This was our Elon Musk.

00:45:07.680 Yes.

00:45:08.100 Right. 1.00

00:45:08.600 Sharper fucking image, dude. 0.99

00:45:10.200 You would find a hairdryer that could sort coins and- 1.00

00:45:14.780 Massage your feet.

00:45:15.540 Yeah, and massage your feet, tell you you're blood tight, and tell you if your mom was being

00:45:19.980 a B-I-T-C-H or not. 0.98

00:45:21.900 And then they would have, like, a remote-controlled car that you could never fucking afford. 0.98

00:45:25.220 Always. 0.71

00:45:25.940 Yeah.

00:45:27.240 And it was, like, the best one.

00:45:28.840 I don't even know what that is, but I wanted it.

00:45:31.020 Oh, they had-

00:45:31.980 Dude, because everything in there, none of-

00:45:34.120 It was, like, all-

00:45:35.220 None of it made any- 0.98

00:45:36.520 Like, it was a ridiculous- 0.95

00:45:37.640 They had, like, a wallet that could grate cheese. 0.97

00:45:40.120 They had-

00:45:41.160 Like, what?

00:45:42.240 You know, they had, like, those things you'd put your-

00:45:44.820 Women right there. 1.00

00:45:46.780 What is that?

00:45:48.060 A little foot spa?

00:45:48.940 Foot spa.

00:45:49.820 At home foot spa.

00:45:50.840 Those things that everybody bought and never used.

00:45:53.320 Never.

00:45:54.000 Never.

00:45:54.280 Never.

00:45:54.720 Ever.

00:45:55.520 But Sharper Image was it, dude.

00:45:57.400 They'd have, like, weird little, like, what is this?

00:46:00.360 Premium Innovative Defrosting Tray.

00:46:02.360 You could just set your meat out on a tray, and it would defrost.

00:46:05.000 That's called a counter. 1.00

00:46:07.780 But they sold that bitch fucking 100 bucks. 1.00

00:46:12.280 For real. 1.00

00:46:12.600 Sharper Image Premium Innovative Defrosting Tray, dude.

00:46:17.380 What else did they have?

00:46:18.500 Sharper Image Warming Foot Massage. 0.99

00:46:20.620 Fucking, my mom had those right there. 1.00

00:46:22.840 Really? 1.00

00:46:23.260 Did she use them?

00:46:24.000 Yeah, they smelled after a while.

00:46:25.580 Oh, yeah, definitely, dude. 1.00

00:46:26.880 They fucking rank. 1.00

00:46:28.100 Ugh. 1.00

00:46:28.460 You have a Sharper, oh, oh, that was it, too. 0.87

00:46:31.580 The hanger dryer or whatever it was, there was a hanger for your clothes that would, like, 0.99

00:46:36.100 blow out air and shit. 0.99

00:46:37.360 Really? 0.99

00:46:37.780 Yeah. 1.00

00:46:38.300 Yeah, a lot of it was ridiculous shit. 0.99

00:46:39.680 This right here is a Sharper Image Closet Ionic Air Purifier. 0.99

00:46:43.000 Yeah, that's what I need.

00:46:44.280 Who, so between two of your shirts, you can put an air purifier? 0.99

00:46:48.420 That is the dumbest thing I've ever seen, dude. 0.96

00:46:50.920 Sharper Image seems like, I have this invention. 0.99

00:46:53.740 Yeah, it's not going to work out, but we have this store for you.

00:46:56.200 Yeah, yeah, everything.

00:46:58.060 Now, the chairs were the big thing, though.

00:47:00.100 You'd go in.

00:47:01.000 That's the reason you went.

00:47:02.060 And you'd look at the lady, and she would give you a look as to whether or not, it was

00:47:06.140 just a, it wasn't a yes or no, it was just, you could tell if you were allowed to go get

00:47:09.700 in that chair or not.

00:47:10.280 Yeah.

00:47:11.360 You could tell.

00:47:12.400 It was either they were going to help you out, or they just gave you the look.

00:47:15.060 Yeah.

00:47:16.140 You know?

00:47:16.680 We're your parents.

00:47:18.040 Yeah, they'd say something like that.

00:47:19.660 Kind of passive-aggressive, but direct.

00:47:22.300 Yeah.

00:47:23.240 Who are you here with?

00:47:25.080 Myself and this chair.

00:47:26.880 What stores do different ethnicities frequent at the mall?

00:47:29.860 Where do the, where do mi gente go?

00:47:31.820 Where do the Mexicanos go? 1.00

00:47:33.040 C's candy.

00:47:34.200 Really?

00:47:34.900 Yeah.

00:47:35.900 Por qué?

00:47:36.880 Free candy.

00:47:37.980 Free samples.

00:47:38.900 Oh, wow. 1.00

00:47:39.620 You walk in, they give you a fucking treat. 1.00

00:47:41.420 All right, welcome to C's. 1.00

00:47:43.180 Butterscotch, you're like, fuck yeah. 1.00

00:47:45.080 C's candy was the lick, man. 1.00

00:47:46.940 C's candy had everyone there.

00:47:48.540 Yeah.

00:47:49.440 C's candy, huh?

00:47:50.580 Mm-hmm.

00:47:51.320 Hey, C's. 0.98

00:47:53.160 You got to understand, though, C's candy was just a reason for us to go get free candy.

00:47:56.840 And Mexicans love sugar, yeah? 1.00

00:47:58.220 Fuck yeah. 1.00

00:47:59.040 Wow. 1.00

00:48:00.120 Good gifts, too.

00:48:01.000 I used to live down in Mexico.

00:48:01.960 I used to get boxes of candy all the time.

00:48:03.400 I'm like, wait, are you saying something?

00:48:05.260 No, no, no.

00:48:05.720 It's good. 1.00

00:48:06.060 I'm like, fuck yeah. 0.99

00:48:07.020 Let's do this. 0.99

00:48:07.460 Yeah, the peanut brittle there is pretty nice.

00:48:09.200 I will say that.

00:48:09.960 They made a beautiful brittle for a while.

00:48:11.620 I don't even know if C's candy is still open or not.

00:48:13.320 Oh, they are.

00:48:13.920 They are?

00:48:14.280 Oh, yeah.

00:48:15.380 Oh, yeah.

00:48:15.860 Giving out them free samples daily.

00:48:17.900 Where else do the Mexicanos go? 1.00

00:48:19.680 Ooh.

00:48:22.300 Back then, let's see.

00:48:24.780 I forget the name of the store.

00:48:26.080 Oh, remember KB Toy Store?

00:48:27.920 Yeah.

00:48:28.320 Yeah.

00:48:28.620 They didn't go to Toys R Us.

00:48:29.580 They went to KB Toy Store because it was cheaper.

00:48:31.700 Mm, respect.

00:48:32.880 Yeah.

00:48:33.420 Respect.

00:48:33.700 I mean, I went there.

00:48:35.060 I love KB Toys.

00:48:36.040 Yeah, I remember seeing it.

00:48:37.940 I don't know where we would.

00:48:39.460 I think we need a lot of time to get our toys over at Walmart, I think.

00:48:42.540 But what about the brothers and sisters?

00:48:44.480 Where do they pull up at? 0.99

00:48:45.780 Oh, shit. 1.00

00:48:47.540 Bed, Bath & Beyond. 1.00

00:48:49.000 No.

00:48:49.620 Lotions.

00:48:50.620 Oh, for sure.

00:48:52.180 Smell goods and lotions.

00:48:53.060 Lotions for show-tions, bro.

00:48:54.800 Yes. 1.00

00:48:55.540 Damn. 1.00

00:48:56.140 Yep. 1.00

00:48:57.520 You could.

00:48:58.140 Oh, yeah.

00:48:59.140 There was tons of lotion.

00:49:01.400 God, they had all kinds in there, too.

00:49:03.780 All kinds.

00:49:04.240 Dude, remember when, okay, so Black people went to Bed, Bath & Beyond. 1.00

00:49:08.820 Do you remember at Bed, Bath & Beyond, bro, when they came?

00:49:11.740 There was, was it Bed, Bath & Beyond?

00:49:14.380 I think it was.

00:49:15.580 Maybe it was at Sephora. 1.00

00:49:16.760 They had these lotions that started to smell like cookies and shit, dude. 1.00

00:49:20.260 Oh, yeah. 0.99

00:49:21.300 And they'd never had it before, and people were going crazy.

00:49:24.500 Mm-hmm. 0.99

00:49:25.060 Actually, you know what's funny is I remember that year, the summer, girls were walking by smelling like candy and shit. 0.99

00:49:31.240 And they're like, yeah, what is this? 0.97

00:49:33.360 This is nice, you know?

00:49:35.380 I think it was Bed, Bath & Beyond.

00:49:37.860 Yeah.

00:49:38.100 There you go.

00:49:38.620 Christmas cookies, man.

00:49:39.740 Body lotion. 1.00

00:49:40.520 God, that shit was nice. 1.00

00:49:42.480 Shit was nice, bro. 1.00

00:49:43.880 It was like the new cocoa butter. 1.00

00:49:45.600 Yeah.

00:49:46.100 Yeah.

00:49:46.420 That was Bath & Body Works.

00:49:48.140 Bath & Body Works.

00:49:49.240 Ah, Bath & Body Works.

00:49:50.160 Yeah, Bath & Body Works.

00:49:51.520 That's what it was.

00:49:52.380 That's what it was.

00:49:53.480 What about the Indians, Bangladeshi, Muslims, all that?

00:50:01.140 Where do they pull up at?

00:50:02.040 Any high-end stores?

00:50:03.620 Really?

00:50:04.160 Yeah.

00:50:04.700 They were the high-end people.

00:50:06.840 The dad's always walking with their hands behind their backs.

00:50:09.040 Mom's with their purses out.

00:50:10.200 Kids spending all their money.

00:50:11.420 Oh, yeah.

00:50:12.340 100%.

00:50:12.740 That's Asian. 0.99

00:50:13.760 Yeah.

00:50:15.760 What was up at Hot Topic, dude?

00:50:17.560 Ooh, Hot Topic, man.

00:50:19.100 Who hung out there?

00:50:19.820 That was a different corner.

00:50:20.900 Okay, so my Hot Topic era was the real emos, the real little grungy-ass kids that came 0.99

00:50:28.100 in there and shit. 0.98

00:50:28.860 You know, it's all like Sailor Moon now, but back then, it was- 1.00

00:50:32.440 Fucking kids eating rust and shit. 1.00

00:50:33.700 Fuck yeah, man. 1.00

00:50:34.540 Like, they would come in and make black makeup all over their face and shit, but- 1.00

00:50:38.740 The beautiful people. 1.00

00:50:40.100 The beautiful people.

00:50:40.900 The real Marilyn Manson kids.

00:50:43.360 You know what I mean?

00:50:44.180 The people that would eat their parents if you gave them a half hour. 1.00

00:50:46.880 Fuck yeah, and if they didn't buy you something from Hot Topic, it was real MFers. 1.00

00:50:50.220 Hot Topic was it, right? 1.00

00:50:51.800 Yeah, man.

00:50:52.280 I loved Hot Topic. 0.98

00:50:53.640 And what's funny is I grew up very urban, very hip-hop and all that shit, but Hot Topic 0.98

00:50:59.540 was definitely a vice of mine. 0.99

00:51:01.480 Yeah, it was, man.

00:51:02.820 It really was.

00:51:03.280 It was like when you went in there, you're like, what's going on?

00:51:05.160 Am I old enough to be in here?

00:51:07.060 Is this something just my older brother and sister can go to?

00:51:10.920 That was crazy.

00:51:12.020 And they also had music in there.

00:51:13.980 Yeah.

00:51:14.300 They had CDs. 0.98

00:51:15.120 This was back when they had CDs and shit. 0.97

00:51:16.920 And so that was different because people would be there. 0.96

00:51:19.500 If you're there picking out music and your brain's in like a music space, so you might

00:51:22.320 get a shirt that goes with a band, you know.

00:51:24.040 Yeah, because there was a bunch of ICP albums there.

00:51:27.260 Yeah.

00:51:29.200 That's who we used to hang out at Hot Topic, like the Juggalos of San Diego. 1.00

00:51:33.680 Yeah, I used to love it.

00:51:34.780 Hot Topic was like that, man.

00:51:36.180 Hell yeah.

00:51:36.560 Any other store really, what about Structure?

00:51:40.620 Remember that store or no?

00:51:41.540 Oh, look at you.

00:51:44.560 Blasting the pad, baby.

00:51:45.780 Wow.

00:51:46.300 Miller's Outpost even. 1.00

00:51:47.520 Dude, Miller's Outpost was like about Arizona and shit, homie. 1.00

00:51:50.600 Yep. 0.99

00:51:51.100 Miller's Outpost turned into what, Anchor Blue or something like that?

00:51:54.020 Really?

00:51:54.440 Yeah.

00:51:54.900 I didn't know. 0.99

00:51:55.580 Anchor Blue was like the first time you could buy like baggy pants and shit, you know, 1.00

00:51:58.640 because I was like, fuck yeah. 0.99

00:51:59.740 But Miller's Outpost was definitely one of the stores that all the trendy kids went to. 0.99

00:52:04.880 Like everyone popular went to Miller's Outpost, got Jenko's and shit like that. 0.78

00:52:08.600 Yeah, dude. 1.00

00:52:09.100 Fucking Levi's. 1.00

00:52:10.320 They had the suede vans there. 1.00

00:52:12.700 Yeah.

00:52:13.440 Dude, I'd never seen a Miller's Outpost until I lived in Arizona for a little bit.

00:52:16.900 And that's when it was a little bit different.

00:52:19.160 What do you guys see on the cameras?

00:52:21.060 And did you guys ever catch anybody having sex or anything like that?

00:52:24.200 Man.

00:52:24.800 So I actually have a good story about that.

00:52:28.660 We've seen a lot on camera.

00:52:30.240 I've seen people getting head.

00:52:32.080 But I've seen it all.

00:52:34.400 Oh, yeah.

00:52:34.900 That's one vote for Trump right there.

00:52:36.360 Hell yeah.

00:52:36.780 You feel me?

00:52:37.340 But we had a direct incident with one of our guards.

00:52:42.240 Okay.

00:52:43.180 So.

00:52:43.740 And what rank was he?

00:52:45.440 He was a no striper.

00:52:46.680 No stripe.

00:52:47.080 He was a no stripe. 0.79

00:52:48.320 He was a baggy pant dicky wearing guy like me.

00:52:51.820 Good guy though.

00:52:52.980 But he was messing around with the girl from Cinnabon.

00:52:55.900 He was.

00:52:56.500 Yeah.

00:52:57.420 Was he cute?

00:52:58.960 Eh.

00:52:59.220 She was all right.

00:53:00.180 She was a Cinnaboner. 1.00

00:53:01.260 You know?

00:53:01.560 Yeah.

00:53:03.020 So one day I'm watching the cameras.

00:53:05.500 And on the cameras I notice she's going to the car.

00:53:08.460 And I'm like.

00:53:10.240 That's.

00:53:11.120 That's not our guy.

00:53:12.840 That's.

00:53:13.220 I think it's the movie theater guy.

00:53:14.540 You know?

00:53:15.160 Wait.

00:53:15.420 What are you talking about?

00:53:15.920 I'm confused.

00:53:16.500 Okay.

00:53:16.720 So the girl from Cinnabon.

00:53:17.900 We were watching her go from Cinnabon to the parking lot to her car.

00:53:21.780 Okay.

00:53:22.300 But she was walking with a guy.

00:53:23.760 Oh.

00:53:23.900 She's walking with a guy to her car.

00:53:25.140 And I think he was the employee.

00:53:27.500 One of the employees from the movie theater.

00:53:29.280 Goes in there. 1.00

00:53:30.300 We could clearly tell they're doing some shit. 1.00

00:53:33.520 He leaves. 1.00

00:53:34.920 Within five minutes.

00:53:36.800 Somebody else comes walking up.

00:53:38.200 It's our guard.

00:53:38.920 He gets in the car.

00:53:40.060 No.

00:53:40.500 They start doing their thing.

00:53:41.800 Uh oh.

00:53:42.580 Was it a Honda Accord?

00:53:45.400 It was a Nissan Altima.

00:53:48.020 Yeah.

00:53:48.340 Yeah.

00:53:49.120 Altima.

00:53:49.940 For sure.

00:53:51.180 So.

00:53:52.660 They do their thing.

00:53:53.660 And we're just like.

00:53:54.320 Me and my other guy are like. 0.98

00:53:55.360 No fucking way this is happening. 0.98

00:53:57.140 Like. 0.99

00:53:57.660 She's on her break.

00:53:58.880 You know?

00:53:59.240 She's doing all this on her break.

00:54:00.500 Oh.

00:54:00.620 So she's on her break.

00:54:01.320 She met up with the movie dude.

00:54:02.380 They're hanging in the car.

00:54:03.640 He leaves.

00:54:04.840 Five minutes later.

00:54:05.940 Y'all's boy shows up.

00:54:07.020 The other guard shows up.

00:54:08.220 Does his thing.

00:54:09.060 Somebody from your rank.

00:54:10.300 So.

00:54:10.940 We call.

00:54:11.440 He gets in there.

00:54:12.080 And I was like.

00:54:12.400 Hey man.

00:54:12.640 I gotta show you something.

00:54:16.040 And I was like.

00:54:16.660 Hey.

00:54:16.900 You know we saw you go.

00:54:18.340 And he's like.

00:54:18.840 Yeah.

00:54:19.000 But I know you're not gonna say nothing.

00:54:20.040 Right.

00:54:20.320 You know.

00:54:20.540 I'm like.

00:54:21.060 Yeah.

00:54:21.520 But.

00:54:22.420 Rewind.

00:54:23.820 He's like. 1.00

00:54:24.760 What the fuck? 1.00

00:54:25.740 So we start. 1.00

00:54:26.480 You know. 1.00

00:54:26.660 Talking shit to him. 1.00

00:54:27.480 And all this stuff. 1.00

00:54:28.200 But.

00:54:29.260 I go up to the Cinnabon girl. 0.86

00:54:30.840 And I was like.

00:54:31.220 Hey.

00:54:33.040 I.

00:54:33.600 I watched everything that happened.

00:54:35.340 She was like.

00:54:36.140 Please don't say nothing.

00:54:37.040 I'm like.

00:54:37.960 Cinnabon for life.

00:54:39.300 So I got free Cinnabon for life.

00:54:41.080 But.

00:54:41.700 Yeah.

00:54:41.800 My boy.

00:54:42.500 And the movie guy.

00:54:43.820 Taxed the same girl. 0.99

00:54:44.940 In the. 1.00

00:54:45.320 In the fucking. 1.00

00:54:45.880 In a half hour period. 1.00

00:54:47.200 Saw that on camera.

00:54:48.580 And do you think. 0.94

00:54:49.260 It was full sex. 0.85

00:54:50.240 Or do you think. 1.00

00:54:50.560 It was oral.

00:54:52.540 Uh. 0.99

00:54:53.120 It had to have been full sex. 0.97

00:54:54.340 The second guy. 0.91

00:54:55.120 No way.

00:54:55.540 Why?

00:54:55.680 For sure.

00:54:56.260 He came out.

00:54:56.920 Adjusting his pants.

00:54:57.660 And she came out.

00:54:58.340 Like. 1.00

00:54:58.540 Adjusting her shit. 1.00

00:54:59.420 The first one. 1.00

00:55:00.220 She was kind of like.

00:55:01.060 You know.

00:55:02.260 Wiping it up.

00:55:03.140 Oh yeah.

00:55:03.700 She needed.

00:55:04.080 She probably just needed.

00:55:05.180 Free passes or something.

00:55:06.620 You know.

00:55:07.580 Oh yeah.

00:55:08.880 You know.

00:55:09.380 That's probably when.

00:55:11.220 What's that movie.

00:55:12.140 That killed Paul Walker.

00:55:14.440 Fast and Furious.

00:55:15.600 That's probably.

00:55:16.000 Fast and Furious 3.

00:55:16.880 Came out.

00:55:17.320 Have you.

00:55:19.360 What else would you guys.

00:55:21.500 Do you guys ever.

00:55:23.740 Hi this is Ari calling from Cole's department store on Gulf Road.

00:55:27.480 I've got an active.

00:55:28.980 This just shows how they can follow people with the mall cameras through the mall.

00:55:32.920 Oh yeah.

00:55:33.660 Security to 911.

00:55:34.980 You can do this too.

00:55:35.820 Oh yeah.

00:55:36.300 We used to do it all the time.

00:55:38.240 The security guard watches two men and a woman on store security cameras load items into

00:55:42.740 a cart like this wallet that she's convinced are about to be stolen.

00:55:47.500 And they can see the merchandise.

00:55:49.900 They've got a cart full and they're in a U-Haul truck. 0.99

00:55:54.920 Damn a whole U-Haul? 0.99

00:55:55.700 And a U-Haul. 1.00

00:55:57.500 And a parking lot.

00:55:58.820 She watches as they casually go through the store even taking time to sample some cologne

00:56:03.780 but accumulate more and more items in their cart.

00:56:07.240 They're about to go.

00:56:08.500 They're east.

00:56:09.620 Hold on.

00:56:10.380 They're about to exit right now.

00:56:11.060 Sorry they keep coming.

00:56:12.340 They're about to exit and then they come back.

00:56:14.500 They're like clotting their exit.

00:56:16.720 As the security guard waits for police to arrive she's still on the phone with 911 when the 0.94

00:56:21.560 woman pushes the cart full of stolen items out the front door. 1.00

00:56:25.720 They're going to go right now.

00:56:26.980 I've got to go make the apprehension.

00:56:31.760 She's the one in purple chasing the woman with the cart. 1.00

00:56:34.420 So you can run out and yell loss prevention though.

00:56:36.920 Yeah.

00:56:37.780 Do you guys do that?

00:56:39.600 I've done it a couple times.

00:56:42.160 What do you do?

00:56:42.880 What's that like?

00:56:44.060 What's it like now?

00:56:44.840 You see somebody stealing.

00:56:45.840 Take me through it.

00:56:46.900 Today.

00:56:48.060 Today.

00:56:48.460 Hey someone stealing you're pretty much just grabbed a description of them all that and 0.99

00:56:53.120 Can you call them a pussy or anything like that? 1.00

00:56:54.860 You can but you just like be wary of the cameras around you you know because everyone's got 0.99

00:56:59.660 a cell phone nowadays and it's like you could you could literally lose your job over saying 1.00

00:57:04.000 that's like fucking bullshit you know because I do want to yell out that shit. 1.00

00:57:06.520 Yeah the guy's a thief or the woman is. 1.00

00:57:08.260 Yeah. 0.97

00:57:11.360 Definitely have had my moments of hey please stop.

00:57:15.680 Don't do this. 1.00

00:57:16.460 You're going to fuck up. 1.00

00:57:17.260 I literally have your license plate and they're just turn around like fuck you and it's like 1.00

00:57:21.220 okay man and like you just have to follow them out you know and you're just kind of 1.00

00:57:25.180 escorting the like the thievery you know nowadays you're just escorting them now kids are coming

00:57:31.880 in like 20 at a time filling up trash bags and you can't stop that nowadays man you just

00:57:36.800 have to really escort them out you know.

00:57:38.760 So now thieves almost get security guards.

00:57:41.200 Yeah.

00:57:42.240 To make sure nobody touches them on their way out.

00:57:44.320 Right.

00:57:44.500 To make sure nothing else.

00:57:45.340 So I don't want anybody else getting involved here you're almost trying to keep other people

00:57:48.900 safe that are there that sort of thing.

00:57:50.460 Yeah like I'm trying to steal professionally here man back everyone up you know like I'm

00:57:54.620 trying to have a clear path to my car and it's like you give them that you know even 0.99

00:57:58.620 Damn bro. 0.98

00:57:59.960 One time Louis Vuitton had me work. 1.00

00:58:02.400 I was working at the Louis Vuitton store in the mall.

00:58:04.580 Oh hell yeah.

00:58:05.560 And we had a protest protest came and they start what fur like something about like fur like 0.99

00:58:13.080 because Louis Vuitton kills animals or some shit blah blah blah all that poor shit but 0.99

00:58:17.540 then they're all wearing leather Nikes and I'm like you guys are fucking up you know but 1.00

00:58:22.080 the this is it oh this could have been in a different mall yeah this they're from uh they're from like 0.98

00:58:30.220 AFA or some shit like that they do this like weird ass Instagram post for everyone to meet 0.99

00:58:35.600 up and then they'll come they do that they come in with the fucking uh bullhorns and shit right 0.99

00:58:40.860 and they say stop with the fur yeah fur kills or something like that but I didn't let him in my 0.99

00:58:46.640 door and this fucking put her megaphone right here and I literally like you have cameras and 1.00

00:58:54.380 everything and I'm and I'm just burying like all my hate for everything I've ever had in my life 0.99

00:59:01.140 she says a sound going right in your face yeah and and then she'll turn it around and then she'll 1.00

00:59:05.660 let the siren up because we had a rope it's like well we're gonna let you go so far it's like I 0.96

00:59:10.440 don't cross this rope you don't cross this rope she had the fucking bullhorn right here 1.00

00:59:13.920 and it's like I don't condone hitting women at all but I want to shove this bullhorn down your 1.00

00:59:22.300 fucking throat right now yeah you know and there was a point in time where one of the guards came 1.00

00:59:26.660 and he saw me shaking he goes are you gonna hit her I'm like since you said it no you know but if 0.99

00:59:33.220 you wouldn't have said it in the next minute something might have fucking happened you know and 0.97

00:59:37.160 those are the things you can't do 20 years ago I'd have snatched that bullhorn threw it across 0.98

00:59:40.820 the fucking mall oh yeah for sure 100% but it's it's stuff like that nowadays it's like that like 0.98

00:59:47.020 protesters they get away they're throwing fur and fake blood at you and you're just like 0.99

00:59:50.540 what are you supposed to do you know like and how much you guys get paid an hour 0.99

00:59:54.380 20 bucks an hour fuck come on man yeah ain't nothing man you know to get hit by 1.00

01:00:01.040 blood and fur and shit it's like what um what 1.00

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01:02:03.360 sorry i'm talking to myself um i've struggled in my life with mental health and other type of

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01:03:25.220 ever catch anybody having sex in any of the uh like dressing rooms oh yeah oh hell yeah hell yeah 0.88

01:03:33.440 dude i did it too one time did you yeah new orleans okay i was gonna say it wasn't that you know this 0.96

01:03:38.900 one place because you do look familiar no uh no uh i've uh we've caught two people on camera going in

01:03:45.080 and you can clearly tell they didn't go in with anything and the girl was like you know giving 1.00

01:03:49.480 the just like fucking suck your dick and then i was like oh she's doing blowing in there she's doing 1.00

01:03:53.480 probably blow and blowing can you hear can you see is there a camera you can see in there no not at 1.00

01:03:57.600 all okay not at all you could clearly see him walk in and she was like yeah i'm gonna suck your dick and i was 1.00

01:04:01.700 like oh she's gonna suck his dick and we creep up you know we don't make it no we creep up we listen 1.00

01:04:07.100 get a little perv on for a second and then fucking beat on the doors really hard and then you know 1.00

01:04:13.960 it's just oh you know next yeah something you know like deuce you know like you know but um definitely 0.99

01:04:21.060 i've gotten many people in the act many people all races all genders uh caught two gay dudes one time

01:04:27.500 that was an experience for me really yeah like what did you see any action sword fighting no

01:04:33.640 saw two wieners at once in your own line of vision yeah um it was at horton plaza uh

01:04:39.680 horton plaza is down in san diego it's not there anymore no that's the horn play yeah so

01:04:43.280 it was inside the theater and theater called and said hey there's something going on we need males to 1.00

01:04:52.740 come into the bathroom and handle this so i get in the bathroom and i hear giggling 0.99

01:04:58.240 and i almost feel they wanted to get caught yeah because when i opened the door it was almost like

01:05:05.400 they were paused and then like oh sorry and i'm like uh can please stop and what they had their

01:05:12.080 wainers out yeah both of them oh wow unfortunately one was hard and one was not oh wow that was really

01:05:17.760 looked yeah i had to like it was i mean you didn't have to i mean at a certain point you was you well

01:05:22.300 at the i think if you see the rest of somebody's body is naked you know the wieners right there in

01:05:26.600 the middle you know when you walk in and something and it's like oh oh oh yeah there was a you know 1.00

01:05:32.900 that three-step part of like hey guys dicks okay get the fuck out of my bathroom now you know but 0.99

01:05:38.780 i feel they wanted to get caught 100 well there is something weird if you see somebody naked 1.00

01:05:43.160 immediately you need to know if they have like you you like you can't even help but there's

01:05:48.740 something inside of you i guess maybe i don't know i don't know probably like competition is it bigger

01:05:53.320 than mine you know like you think no i think you just don't i don't know i remember i was in uh

01:06:00.260 we were in new orleans my girlfriend i went into victoria's uh secrets right we went up in there

01:06:07.440 and um yeah we both snuck in there and then just started having a little bit of scx boy

01:06:15.960 and we were young and so it was you know it was so you know and not like it was fun when you're young

01:06:21.780 it's fun to just do a little bit of fucking or whatever and it's um yeah it was like yeah sober 0.75

01:06:27.120 sex is for children i've always said that and anyway it was just that was awesome i miss her a lot 0.98

01:06:33.860 sometimes and um you know what else but but was there other sexual instances you guys would see

01:06:40.700 oh yeah uh a lot in the parking lot he had a lot to go in the parking lot a lot of employees after

01:06:45.740 work in the parking lot um what doing sex in cars oh yeah oh yeah uh we caught somebody behind the 1.00

01:06:51.880 trash can of the dumpsters one time like they coordinated to go take out trash together because

01:06:56.440 the guy told me goes yeah i told her to take out trash at like like 8 30 and we met yeah it's 0.91

01:07:00.820 romeo and juliet fuck yeah and the gross thing is like it was the food court trash can so it smelled 0.80

01:07:06.880 like food and i was like you couldn't use the one that uses plastic and cardboard oh yeah that's 0.98

01:07:11.040 recyclio and juliet dude yeah oh yeah right there behind the dumpsters though oh yeah if i oh yeah

01:07:19.120 it's hard for me to stay erect if there's broken glass around or like a bad trash smell is rough you

01:07:26.340 know the smell of other pee kind of throws it off too um oh dude i remember so wiggers kind of 0.66

01:07:34.740 remember them oh yeah i was one yeah oh really yeah right on dude yeah i had a black stepdad i have 0.94

01:07:39.760 a black stepdad so grew up in that you know yeah yeah and everyone's like you're a wigger i'm like 0.57

01:07:44.300 how there's a real one at my house yeah yeah yeah well it but they started at the mall oh yeah 100% 0.96

01:07:52.620 yeah like back in the day i feel like if you needed a wigger or you needed a ginger you went 1.00

01:07:57.900 to footlocker oh or lids i feel like that's where they kind of that was like their junior college

01:08:03.080 this guy's called out my whole life right now i love lids oh bro lids is a definite place

01:08:09.200 for you to roll up and see what was kind of wiggering around the area oh yeah you know yeah malibu's

01:08:16.160 most wanted was always walking through lids it was great and those were the ones yeah yeah that's

01:08:21.240 where god kept most of the wiggers i feel like was footlocker and lids dude yep oh 100 100 and jc

01:08:29.040 pennies they hid out in jc pennies really yeah because that's where all like some urban clothes

01:08:33.480 were at you know yeah so they would get them on sale they knew where the sales were um what happened

01:08:39.880 as moles started to decline man did you notice any of that in your time yeah you could definitely tell 0.99

01:08:45.480 like over one summer about 10 years 15 years ago it was just like not packed anymore wasn't fun

01:08:51.740 anymore um they still had the big movie blockbusters coming out but people weren't lining up to see

01:08:56.980 spider-man no more you know like once you see the theater die out i think that's when the mall is done

01:09:03.580 once once the theater starts going and you can't draw anybody in there because that's theater has

01:09:08.280 always been like the hub of why you go to like the mall sometimes you know like what are you going

01:09:12.500 there for i'm going to movies you know right but as soon as that decline started it just you can see

01:09:19.460 like and it's sad when you see like empty stores in the mall you know like oh man i used to go there

01:09:23.560 and it's like well it's not there anymore it's like put something in there and they'll put like

01:09:26.940 a phone store in there or they just yeah now apple's like 20 stores deep and you're like

01:09:32.040 cares you know yeah or it'll be like kumal's magic shop or something it's like 0.99

01:09:37.140 fuck get fucked homie i'm not going if yeah if someone's dropping you off at the mall to learn 1.00

01:09:43.340 magic dude you are being sex traffic dude yeah you're being set up for something i mean that's 1.00

01:09:49.820 easy right guys yep um but what about during the holidays did malls always stay busy at the holidays

01:09:58.360 kind of yeah they did they did for sure because once like like you said once the decline happened

01:10:04.360 start stores started doing more sales during the holidays trying to get the attention out

01:10:08.300 and those were the times it's like the holidays for the mall was great because it's like traffic

01:10:13.060 people were out having good times and stuff like yeah you know mingling yeah it's fun and that's the

01:10:19.820 best and that's the best thing about the mall they're blasting that music man 24 7 it's like ah

01:10:25.520 yeah it feels so good and with with the holiday mall thing it's i wanted to go back to that like

01:10:34.880 get rid of cyber monday and put it all back in the mall put the holiday sales back in the mall let

01:10:39.560 us fight let us like terrorize doors that you know like i miss the real black fridays yeah the real 0.66

01:10:44.920 black fridays are gone really yeah the the true black fridays of sitting out all night and you open 1.00

01:10:50.580 that door and i i two black fridays i got in a fight okay yeah i've got black friday was crazy 0.98

01:10:56.580 for you guys oh yeah black like that how would you prepare for that would you guys like did you 1.00

01:11:01.800 yeah like would you guys have to do any special training before black fridays or did you guys get

01:11:05.620 up early that day and what was that like um to be honest uh a lot of us would do actual stretches

01:11:12.020 like for black friday because we knew we had an 18 hour day um some of us who were smart enough

01:11:17.380 ate right ate correctly stretched out a little bit because we knew we were going to fight

01:11:20.980 especially if you were if there was a target at a mall like if there's a target set in the mall

01:11:25.720 that target was the worst place for black friday everyone's lined up they're rushing through they are 0.98

01:11:31.540 punching you they don't give a shit about nothing but but the the og black fridays man i i've missed 0.98

01:11:37.480 those those were the fighting days over like something yeah and oh yeah and those were like 0.99

01:11:43.000 and those were the first like remnants of you can't touch anybody you know the og black fridays 0.96

01:11:50.200 were kind of like the start of don't touch anybody just let them fight over that fucking blender that's 0.94

01:11:54.480 only two bucks right you know and you let them go at it well used to be you could buy like a coffee 0.97

01:11:58.860 make they'd have like a coffee maker that can tell if your cousin's gay or not you know and he'd be

01:12:03.740 like who cares but yeah we got to get that you know and they would fight over it yeah or they'd have

01:12:08.520 like a water purifier that can tell um that can guess your like uh weight or whatever it's just 0.98

01:12:15.900 like shit that's like one lady one lady one black friday got beat up outside because at the time 0.98

01:12:23.920 i don't they don't think they understood the system of layaway so like the actual store didn't 1.00

01:12:30.420 understand what they got themselves into yeah so this lady goes up and everyone's in fucking line 0.98

01:12:35.320 for the electronics everyone's fought already now i've lined everyone up calmed everyone down 0.83

01:12:39.280 because the electronic department in the store wasn't open yet they were waiting two hours to

01:12:44.140 put everything on sale this lady goes and asks how many playstation or how many ps4s do you have and

01:12:50.220 they're like oh we have a hundred and i remember hearing like we have 120 she goes i want to put lay

01:12:55.060 away on all 120 because it was only like five bucks a layaway so she's like how many cameras do you 0.93

01:12:59.840 have okay and so she spent like i don't know like two grand on layaway and bought out damn near 0.99

01:13:05.780 everything that people were waiting in line for so by the time like even the second person like so i

01:13:10.700 can't get a playstation they're like no as soon as they put on layaway they have to take that exact

01:13:15.360 item and put it in the back so it wasn't like they can reorder anything that was like whatever was 0.99

01:13:19.660 out was out on sale so this fucking lady put all this shit on layaway she gets out and people down 1.00

01:13:26.060 the line went and met her outside and asked her like hey are you gonna sell this stuff like is there 1.00

01:13:30.320 any way we can get in it and she's like no and start walking away and they beat the shit out of her 1.00

01:13:35.040 and i shut the door and walked away that's greed yeah i was like you deserve that one like because 0.94

01:13:42.660 she she was one she deserves it you can't go on christmas you're telling me you are you how old was

01:13:49.620 a woman oh she was in her 40s good you're telling me miss 40s you're gonna use 120 playstations 0.99

01:13:57.860 you're getting beat you're getting the fucking beat up you're getting beat up and that's the kind 1.00

01:14:02.400 of shit we need um vigilantism here's a video right here black friday stampede oh pink we used to be 1.00

01:14:09.020 for your secrets and this is whites hunting panties right here boy there we go 1.00

01:14:13.760 a lot of fucking thong hell yeah god that thong in there bro remember when the thong came out 1.00

01:14:23.580 oh yeah google when did the thong come out bro because that changed everything bro 1.00

01:14:28.980 everybody became a hoe right then when did the thong come out bro the thong swimsuit i'm talking 0.99

01:14:37.400 about the thong panty bro like when when did it come out in walmart to make you feel uncomfortable

01:14:43.500 because remember when i remember there was a time when they were actually out like in the walmart and

01:14:47.720 you'd walk by and you feel oh shit i don't think i could walk by this aisle 1990s it said uh 0.75

01:14:53.020 looks like they debuted in 74 but really caught on in the 90s let's go to yeah go get it okay 74 go to

01:15:00.220 there the thong makes its official debut with rudy gurney itches invention of the thong

01:15:07.280 swimsuit yep 2002 a year later this style was being sold as underwear across america that's in

01:15:13.100 74 in 1990s thong underwear hits the mainstream that's what happened marketed widely as a practical

01:15:19.040 undergarment to pair with slim fit jeans to best avoid visible panty lines yum yum the 1995 victoria

01:15:27.580 secrets hold its first public runway show led by model stephanie seymour and rebecca

01:15:33.640 raman igniting a consumer thong frenzy dude 2002 over 120 million pairs of thong underwear were sold in

01:15:42.980 the u.s alone that's when i was at the mall really yeah that's those are the years i was at them like 0.87

01:15:49.440 those are the good days man because i was 22 so you had all those like those young ass women coming 1.00

01:15:55.360 out of college buying the fuck it was like five for 30 oh yeah i would definitely i would be 0.99

01:16:03.540 i would be in there i bet it was a sniffer's dream was it oh yeah would you guys ever go in there and 1.00

01:16:09.360 do some pervy shit we wouldn't but we would catch the people that were you know were there some lurkers 0.99

01:16:17.340 in there in victoria secrets what was that like because that was victoria was that where the babes 0.99

01:16:21.760 were at where were the babes at in the mall victoria's secret okay victoria's secret um

01:16:26.380 we got a call one time about a pervy dude in victoria's secret because i guess they're allowed

01:16:33.500 to try on the panties and they put a little panty like whatever they do to put a little panty liner 1.00

01:16:36.940 in to like block the you know the clam and the jam so i guess they when they take the panties off it's 0.99

01:16:43.420 not like they go throw them in a washing machine they just put them back on the rack so i guess the

01:16:48.380 guy caught on to where they were putting those panties and he would go by and just kind of oh 0.99

01:16:52.920 yeah these look good yeah get that good whiff in boy make that fucking make your wiener walk forward 0.98

01:16:59.320 baby i like that um yeah i dude i yeah i understand i think it's um and would you guys have to go and 0.97

01:17:11.240 talk to that guy yeah unfortunately really yeah like how do you what do you say there um i actually 0.98

01:17:17.400 used my my own words i said hey man what the fuck are you doing in here sniffing underwear like 1.00

01:17:22.520 that and he's like i'm not i'm like bro you are in here sniffing panties like a fucking pervert 1.00

01:17:26.980 why he's like and he started walking away i said hey bro don't come in here no more stop grabbing 0.99

01:17:33.460 handfuls of panties and sniffing them we see you yeah and he and then he walks out and i i swear he

01:17:39.880 said this under his breath he goes i'm still gonna do it really yeah i was like oh he's dedicated

01:17:44.780 yeah you gotta respect that man but he was definitely one of the only ones that i actually

01:17:48.660 encountered i've heard plenty of stories like there was there's victoria secret girls used to 1.00

01:17:53.420 tell stories all the time about like oh man this guy used to do like a run by sniff or um girls would

01:17:58.560 like uh if they pull up their panties or they would hold panties in the air to look at them or 0.98

01:18:02.840 something a guy would like drop his wallet or something good you know a quick little sniff by and

01:18:07.520 he's like yeah we see a lot of that here i'm like why don't you say anything like sometimes it's

01:18:12.420 funny sometimes it's really pervy i'm like it's all pervy it's all pervy but at the same times i

01:18:17.940 guess it could be funny if you just see somebody hit a knee and a sniff yeah and what would they do

01:18:22.340 is trying to sniff sniff smell the woman the butt oh yeah yeah that'll get you sniffers are weird 0.78

01:18:27.940 yeah well it's uh you know humans are 40 animal or something and um they do it you know so i don't

01:18:36.180 think it's crazy no but it's uh yeah it's an art for i don't know if it's an art form that's crazy

01:18:42.760 but yeah it's seems weird i think it's i it should have been something back in the day that got frowned 0.89

01:18:47.700 upon like hey you can't be sniffing sally's ass it's like whatever yeah um have you ever had to 0.79

01:18:53.020 protect like a mall santa or anything like that yes or what's that like when the mall santa's come 0.98

01:18:56.880 take me through some uh christmas time lore okay so the mall santa situation is always a fun one

01:19:01.620 because um eight out of ten times he's a drunk really oh yeah you get you you will you will

01:19:10.800 honestly get a santa guy that comes in there who dedicates his life to being santa all year long

01:19:15.360 who can't wait to go to the mall to do the santa thing and then you got guys like me who are like 0.94

01:19:19.580 fuck i just need a job for like the season it's like seasonal job you know but i've had guys literally 0.93

01:19:25.240 pull up drunk you know like hey where do i go i'm like who are you santa it's like oh come on 0.99

01:19:31.600 over here um the santa the the drunk santas were always fun because they had the drugs they they

01:19:39.380 had the weed um and they were the funniest with the kids because they were the nicest yeah the the

01:19:46.980 guys that actually did the santa full year they would get irritated through the first two hours

01:19:51.160 the drunk ones would be like hell yeah i'll get your ferrari anything you want you know yeah so i

01:19:56.720 used to hang out with the those those santas uh during the season i'll get your mom a half pound 1.00

01:20:01.520 of cock you feel me that's crazy that's stupid actually you know i've actually heard a santa hit 0.99

01:20:06.700 on on her mom yeah and he should dude it's he said i got a present for you to unwrap oh santa should 1.00

01:20:13.420 get every the first woman the first guy any woman should want is santa who's your husband and you're 1.00

01:20:19.460 like uh you know he plays for the mets or whatever like bitch my husband is santa um we had santa on 1.00

01:20:27.420 the podcast show a clip of that guy let's just get a look at him he was amazing man oh he's got the 0.64

01:20:34.480 full look at him he got a championship belt on an area look at him he is the world champion of santa's

01:20:39.620 it was so cool to meet him dude we were excited how long is he how long did he do it for he was in

01:20:46.080 the game i think 26 years he did mall santa stuff he was sanning he'd done all types he'd done it from

01:20:53.560 everywhere across the globe from guam to um oh wow connecticut yeah he'd done everywhere um and what

01:21:01.560 was it like anybody ever any issues with mall santas or anything like that uh one one one santa had to

01:21:06.720 get fired his third day and i think because uh he fought a parent because the kid asked for something

01:21:13.680 and the parent was going like this trying to tell tell santa like tell him no tell him no it's like

01:21:19.120 santa's not allowed to say no you know what i mean well the kid was just asking for like toys like

01:21:24.140 basic ass toys but i guess the kid was a bad kid and this was supposed to be a lesson to the kid but 0.95

01:21:28.620 the parent didn't let us in on the fucking on the jam so the kid starts telling um santa like hey you 0.99

01:21:35.920 know i want this toy this toy this toy he's like oh yeah this that and she's like no tell him no and 0.95

01:21:40.540 like you could see him kind of like okay so he keeps going on then the dad walks up

01:21:45.900 and he starts still telling the story or telling what toys he wants and the santa starts just

01:21:52.180 eyeballing the dad because now the dad's like doing this so the kid gets up and now the dad walks over 0.96

01:21:58.460 and says hey man we're telling you fucking no and he's like hey i i don't know what you're telling me 0.98

01:22:04.020 no he's just asking for toys and the the dad kind of just did like this little backhand to it like he's 0.99

01:22:09.840 like shut up just just kind of backhand it literally a transformer he went from santa to 0.60

01:22:15.860 whatever his name because he stood up and literally as he stood up the beard the hat and everything just

01:22:22.820 kind of came off the whole top he's like what and they just started fighting right there on the spot

01:22:27.560 he's like he started santa started hitting them i kind of stepped in the middle pushed the mom back

01:22:33.140 because the mom started clawing at us and then the kids like he the kid literally standing there going 0.99

01:22:37.760 what did i he he yelled out am i getting a bike yeah i just want to know fuck you know but he 0.99

01:22:44.720 literally yelled out what did i do wrong and i'm like oh man you didn't like in my head like you 0.99

01:22:49.040 didn't do nothing wrong with your fucking parents you know yeah but i and later on and the cops came 0.98

01:22:54.060 the parents were explaining that we're trying to teach him a lesson we brought him here because 1.00

01:22:57.840 we want to talk to santa and all this shit and i'm like well you ended up getting your ass whooped 0.99

01:23:00.780 yeah so what's the lesson here yeah you shouldn't you can't attack santa because he has met because 0.99

01:23:07.020 he's the best that's why yeah and bro you don't know who's under that santa you know no um let me

01:23:14.040 ask you this um any would you hit on women during the mall because it's probably hard here's what i

01:23:20.100 would guess would be tough a woman shows up at the mall she's attractive you're you feel attracted to

01:23:25.320 her but then how do you not just chase her like not chase around but you know i'm saying a mall

01:23:31.020 is just people are going in a certain direction if you you know because i as even i remember when i

01:23:35.340 was young and i'd be at the mall you'd kind of be following the girl around the mall mall stalking

01:23:39.260 mall stalking's real is that what it's called mall stalking mall stalking and as a as a mall cop you

01:23:44.000 can definitely get away with it more than just being an average joe yeah you know because if you're

01:23:47.560 like just following a girl in normal clothes you're like what's going on but no we we used to 0.98

01:23:51.960 mall stalk back in our days you know girls would show up and it'd be nice too because like it's

01:23:57.500 kind of weird because we had our own little groupies because they think we like oh man he's

01:24:01.280 a security guard he can get us backstage like to what you know yeah the best we can do is probably

01:24:05.920 sneak you into the theater you know and that right there was money back in the day girls loved us for 1.00

01:24:11.560 that really yeah because it was it was a kind of a scam because i would walk the girl up to the movie

01:24:17.340 theater and i would know half the people anyway but most of the time i'd walk up i'm like hey uh

01:24:21.940 she left her purse in the theater i'm just gonna walk her in and make sure she gets out and they're 1.00

01:24:25.380 like oh okay guys you're all right i'm like so what movie would you like to see easy numbers man

01:24:31.320 easy numbers but yeah uh mall cops actually had their own little groupies around it was great

01:24:35.600 ever get laid from a woman you met at the mall nah yeah really nah no i never pursued uh too much

01:24:44.020 like i never pursued the the clientele yeah yeah just because you never knew where that was gonna land

01:24:49.200 oh yeah for sure sometimes you see like an attractive woman and they're just shopping at 1.00

01:24:52.580 the wrong store and you're just like oh yeah good on that you know sometimes it just fucks everything 0.88

01:24:58.460 up yeah oh so do mall cops have enemies you guys have other mall cops really yeah other mall cops um

01:25:07.220 so there would be beef on the force yeah oh yeah oh yeah oh yeah if you have so say you have

01:25:13.220 mall cops my heart say you have mall cops that like they're on their day off and they come to your

01:25:18.640 mall and they make it known that they're mall cops now there's just that beef and you see them

01:25:23.540 walking around because sometimes they'll come you're like oh we wouldn't do it like that oh you guys do 0.99

01:25:28.220 like oh well we do it like this like now we have beef fuck your mall fuck your whole mall yeah so there 0.99

01:25:35.120 was mall beef yeah oh yeah oh yeah anything has beef you know what i mean but mall cop beef was funny 0.99

01:25:43.400 would you guys ever do like a volleyball team or anything that for your mall was there any like um

01:25:47.280 no i did try to get a softball tournament going between the mall guys one time i really i'm not 0.56

01:25:51.800 kidding i really try to get horse i really try to get some softball shit going go out there get drunk 0.96

01:25:56.660 and if things lead to the ninth inning we fight we fight you know what i mean but yeah i was trying 0.88

01:26:01.220 to organize some things trying to have some fun you know yeah yeah i think you have to i remember at

01:26:06.900 a wafflouse one night i'd been using or whatever and i was in there and i almost had uh a team 0.96

01:26:14.020 take put together to fucking play another wafflouse oh shit yeah and then i don't know what 0.95

01:26:20.020 happened after that i think i think i might have fallen asleep or something but it was just yeah 0.99

01:26:23.920 people were hey when you get them on board though that's the best oh that's when it's the best dude

01:26:28.460 um what have i ever have a lost lost child situation there oh yeah though ever had a kidnapped child

01:26:35.520 situation no kidnapping situation um an attempted kidnapping happened on my day off

01:26:41.360 wow um we all heard about it uh i'm not gonna say it wasn't like a major thing to where like

01:26:47.540 somebody got out and like snatched a kid but i guess a lady was going around courting kids so to 1.00

01:26:53.600 say like like if the parent would walk away the lady i guess the lady was walking up and just kind

01:26:58.720 of like oh do you know my son have you met my son oh i think you go to school with him he's over there

01:27:04.720 and i guess she was just like listing random names and just a kid goes to elementary it's like

01:27:11.060 you might hit one of the names oh james is over there and i guess on the camera one of the kids

01:27:15.900 like looked up and said oh james and went to walk towards and the mom's like hey where are you going

01:27:20.540 and if the mom wouldn't have looked i think that would have been it for the kid but no straight out

01:27:26.480 by kidnapping lost kids all day uh out of a five week or out of a five day like scheduled for the

01:27:33.960 week four of those days you're going to deal with a lost kid no way guaranteed guaranteed what happens

01:27:39.820 what's the major cause of that well parents just being like just too into what they're doing kids

01:27:46.080 just running off not paying and like i have a toddler man these kids are they're just fast you know 0.95

01:27:50.640 what i mean they're fast as fuck and once they take off that's it you know like sometimes it's not 0.98

01:27:55.620 the parents fault sometimes it is the parents fault like i can really back it up like it maybe not but 0.98

01:27:59.840 usually is um i've had kids on the opposite side of the mall where the parents were literally like

01:28:07.760 inside like jc pennies and this kid bolted through the whole mall damn made it in other stores made it 0.57

01:28:14.980 all the way down and now he's just sitting at a toy store by himself and that's the truth he was

01:28:19.360 literally sitting in a toy store and when i found him he was sitting there playing with a toy and i

01:28:23.380 say hey his name was jacob i was like hey are you jacob and he looked up he goes yeah because he 0.99

01:28:28.660 was like seven or eight he was you know like he was old enough to know like fuck my parents yeah 0.99

01:28:32.580 i'm gonna go to his toy store yeah i'm gonna do my own shit dad's not doing well or whatever no 0.99

01:28:36.700 wow so that's got to be kind of is it scary or does it just get so repetitive that you're like 0.98

01:28:41.560 oh this is probably the same thing you know still scary no to me it's scary because one

01:28:46.680 i'm a parent and so it always sinks in like don't want to lose your kid but then you always want to 0.99

01:28:53.400 slap him in the back of the fucking head like dude pay attention to your kid yeah you know so 100 0.99

01:28:57.220 but you know the worst ones is during like the black friday like the holiday seasons because it's not 1.00

01:29:03.780 like one kid it's multiple kids that are missing and it's like they're not even missing it's just so

01:29:09.780 crowded you did not pay attention and do you have to do an intercom thing then or no oh yeah what do

01:29:15.080 you do what do you what do you say you're just getting over the line if the parents of jacob or

01:29:18.880 there's a lost kid he looks like this um and within if you go over a pa system within a minute

01:29:25.760 you know a lot of parents will start perking up you know like if you have a human heart you start

01:29:30.580 perking up and looking around just kind of check your surroundings and we usually get the call like 0.93

01:29:34.040 oh he's over here playing with fucking toys you know and he's like i'm gonna go get jacob 0.99

01:29:37.400 yeah so the food court what's going on there man food courts you miss it 0.98

01:29:42.560 yeah i miss the og food courts uh like sbarro's sbarro's pizza was so good love it it was good

01:29:50.360 and horrible but it was a lot of people's first taste of italian it was bring it up bring up

01:29:55.600 sbarro's sbarro's was good man they had a lot of uh

01:29:59.360 bread at it that's what i feel like it was hella bready 0.97

01:30:04.720 it's pizza but still yeah but god yeah sbarro you're right dude what the fuck am i talking about 0.94

01:30:10.360 sbarro's was so damn good so good and also you didn't know at that you there wasn't 0.95

01:30:15.940 you didn't know what was good or wasn't get the second no no yeah get that one right there

01:30:23.200 that's the one i went to god it looks good right i can just smell sbarro's sbarro's dude and i

01:30:32.560 loved it too because you like love sbarro's i love mall food because you don't have to wait long

01:30:36.660 it was just like what do you need what do you want and then you just go down this little jail

01:30:39.780 line and you're like bam bam bam bam bam pay and you're out and would you guys eat at the uh

01:30:44.820 eat there every day usually pretty much yeah especially because once you get like once you

01:30:49.940 make friends with everybody you're getting discounts you're getting hooked up and because

01:30:53.200 you're not telling on them because they're doing shit in the park a lot so you know yeah we ate 0.91

01:30:58.480 there a lot it gained a lot of weight did you oh yeah especially when rubio we had a rubio's 0.97

01:31:03.100 pop-up at one of my malls and i thought that was like okay i'm gonna start eating fresh and 0.89

01:31:07.200 eating better fuck no tortillas all day it was great fuck yeah rubio's rubio's in a mall is good 0.97

01:31:14.160 yeah rubio's is pretty good man they took out they they used to have a mcdonald's in my mall and i know 0.99

01:31:20.020 it's i know it's weird to say kind of frowned on it's like why would you take out the mcdonald's and

01:31:24.620 it's like because everyone would go strictly to mcdonald's because if you put a mcdonald's in the mall

01:31:29.580 it's just like you know like malls to a flame but doesn't that help because then at least the

01:31:33.920 malls are around the freaking other stores yeah but they just i guess mcdonald's just takes all

01:31:40.740 the business from all the food court places oh because it's because kids because it's food court

01:31:45.760 if you're with kids it's always up to the kid where you're going you know and they're like mcdonald's

01:31:49.640 you know it's right kids will always say mcdonald's yeah especially if they have the playground yeah

01:31:52.960 and miss fields did they have that oh mrs fields they had the cookie cakes remember those 0.89

01:31:58.500 those are fucking good my mom would always get those for us for our birthdays oh man dude bring 0.91

01:32:03.880 that cookie yes yes so those were speaking of miss fields in my day we actually used to get these 0.99

01:32:11.820 cookies after they were closed because um a lot of these places they can't like sell the shit the 0.99

01:32:17.660 next day or it's like goes bad or whatever i've eaten probably a hundred of those fucking birthday 0.99

01:32:23.380 cookies in my life yeah taking them home cut them all up hand out to friends and shit yeah i've 0.99

01:32:29.220 showed up to like friends houses with fucking three or four of these cookies like is your birthday i'm 0.99

01:32:33.440 like nope mrs fields was closing you know you have two cakes is a happy birthday chad on them you're 1.00

01:32:39.820 like who the fuck is chad who gives a shit but happy birthday chad um what mall store had the dumbest 1.00

01:32:45.080 employees oh shit or what mall store was just like what mall store was whatever it was just like what 1.00

01:32:52.580 are we um uh what is it fyi is that a store fye fye dvd store yeah oh yeah that was a weird thing 0.99

01:33:02.080 i was like what was that um it was it was like the it was like it was like all the fake yeah it was like

01:33:08.180 all the fake movie buffs worked there like all like it was just like it was just a weird store like

01:33:13.840 they had the weirdest employees there and no disrespect to them but you guys were weird

01:33:18.040 it seems weird though because it's like like you wanted to work at hot topic but you weren't cool

01:33:24.500 enough to work at hot topic you wanted to work at like the music trader or even the movie theater 0.81

01:33:29.160 and you weren't cool enough to be like and this was like all right fuck it here work at fye this is 0.95

01:33:33.420 like the leftover shit yeah but to be fair fye had a lot of good finds like you could find like the 1.00

01:33:40.120 most random ass shit there you know like that like a scar face porn you're like hell yeah oh yeah 1.00

01:33:45.580 that's respectable um what store had the hot chicks where where uh yeah what store had chicks in it 1.00

01:33:52.440 usually the victoria's secrets uh amber crombie uh when amber crombie and fitch came out i did not go

01:33:59.360 into that store for almost the first year like even like as an employee working at the mall and they

01:34:04.420 would tell you to go do wellness checks on your stores i would not go in amber crombie and fitch why

01:34:08.380 i didn't fit in the clothes i just it just one of those things man oh yeah it was only for

01:34:13.700 attractive people like models like yeah it was for models so i did not walk in there and the one time

01:34:20.160 i did walk in i was like so this is where all the women are at gotcha gotcha but amber crombie and 1.00

01:34:27.320 fitch was just a little intimidating you know for myself i was a miller's outpost guy like i said

01:34:32.360 yeah well amber crombie and fitch too dude they uh and they'd have like naked children on horseback 0.97

01:34:37.920 remember when they came out with all those photos and shit i thought that was j crew that did that 0.98

01:34:41.120 i don't know who it was j crew was one of those stores too you're just like am i a pedophile or 0.93

01:34:45.060 am i a medium you know like you just couldn't even nothing made any sense in those places dude that

01:34:50.540 was no that was the weird part yeah you felt weird um oh yeah look at that straight and they would

01:34:55.540 have them all and sometimes they would have live models standing out there like come on in 0.97

01:34:58.940 yeah that was weird i worked at one for a little i worked in the back though

01:35:04.840 back with the sloths back there ringing the bell for whatever you know bringing the church bell or 1.00

01:35:14.460 whatever it's lunchtime y'all let's go get your six back in the steam room yeah they would let me

01:35:21.960 out sometimes to wash people's six packs in the front i had to oil them sometimes oh but with the spray i

01:35:28.000 have to do the towel thing it was like you know bet dude bet what were the best things about being

01:35:34.080 a mall cop oops the the leniency of not having like a boss hanging over your head sometimes because 0.92

01:35:40.480 with having the badge you were able to go places and nobody would fucking question you and 0.94

01:35:45.820 flat out i'm a pothead so the best thing about being a mall cop and i think why i stayed there so 0.94

01:35:53.460 long was because i had so many hiding places i had so many like resources for free food um people

01:35:59.920 watching was great you know it was just like those small things but the majority of it was just not

01:36:04.780 having somebody breathing down your neck 24 7 because you were like your own boss you know a lot of mall

01:36:09.580 cops are a lot of mall security you'd only be like one or two guys you know four at the most if it was

01:36:15.020 like a busy mall it's like one or two guys and the one guy that's walking around in the platoon or

01:36:19.540 whatever yeah yeah and then it's just like i'm just by myself you know and that's always good

01:36:26.200 and it's just always good until somebody makes a call of a lost kid or some shit and you're like 0.64

01:36:29.240 i gotta go would you ever be would you be high a lot of times most of the time and if it if any 0.98

01:36:35.240 security guard if any fucking security guard at a mall says that they weren't stoned or not stoned or 0.98

01:36:40.740 doesn't have a pin in their pocket now you're not a real security guard you're not oh yeah security 0.99

01:36:46.540 stone 24 7 i i will never hide that fact wow that had to be so scary you get a call for a missing

01:36:52.480 kid and then like a 30 seconds later you forget what you're looking for and you just buy a uh

01:36:58.020 aunt annie's pretzel or whatever oh shit yeah and the mom's like if you found him you're like 0.81

01:37:03.980 who you know like um i don't i'll admit it okay so i'll admit one time yeah i i was getting really 0.94

01:37:12.160 high in the parking lot and a call comes over that um a boyfriend had shown up to

01:37:19.160 one of the stores and the girl had already called the cops already told the managers so we were aware 0.99

01:37:25.280 of this boyfriend that was being abusive so i get the call hey gus uh girl's boyfriend's back

01:37:33.940 this and that can you head towards the store i 100 was like confident that i was gonna make this call

01:37:41.340 i was like yeah no problem no problem i'll be there right now i'm on my way i'm actually walking

01:37:45.420 but i was in the parking lot smoking i put my radio down i go back to my phone i go back to the blunt

01:37:51.980 that's lit and i start scrolling through my phone thinking all right let me just hit this a couple

01:37:56.620 more times and i'll get out of here about 10 minutes later a call comes says hey the police are coming 0.99

01:38:02.880 now the guy hit the girl and i'm like oh shit oh fuck i fucked up so i'm putting it out i'm 0.99

01:38:09.620 fucking putting the sanitizer on fucking clone and everything deodorant and i'm fucking running 0.99

01:38:15.480 towards the thing and the first thing i do theo i can't make this up i looked around nobody's watching 0.99

01:38:21.320 i take i had these little scissors in my i had this like little knife but it had the scissors in it

01:38:26.840 i took the scissors and i cut my pants and i took dirt and i went like this and i came up limping 0.81

01:38:31.760 i'm like where were you i'm like i fucking fell and i tripped and i rolled my ankle 0.98

01:38:36.500 and i i was calling you guys but nobody was fucking answering me and they're like are you okay i'm like 0.95

01:38:41.700 yeah i'm fine totally lied that i rolled my ankle and fell it's because this girl got hit by her 0.95

01:38:47.220 boyfriend damn yeah to this day i'm sorry no to this day i feel bad yeah you should have been there 0.83

01:38:53.000 should have been there should have ran to the thing but i didn't think that was going to happen 0.99

01:38:56.880 but then that's not true you were hot you know fucking i guess you didn't think it was yeah you 0.99

01:39:04.820 didn't think it was serious i didn't think he was going to go in and hit her yeah yeah you're right 0.99

01:39:08.240 my bad my bad because it was like the stories where he was just coming up and yelling at her for like 0.95

01:39:14.420 rent money or whatever the fuck he was asking because he's asking for money he kept asking for money 0.56

01:39:17.880 but i didn't think he was going to hit her but the story went and he got she got in his face and 0.98

01:39:22.680 they started doing this and bumping each other and he had pushed her and like hit her or something 0.96

01:39:26.780 i was like fuck i would have been there for that i would have so been there for that but instead i 0.99

01:39:30.620 was watching fucking videos can't win them all man nah you know and i bet there was a lot of ones 0.99

01:39:35.560 that you won um gus parsons mall cop we appreciate you man thanks for keeping things secure and uh and 0.99

01:39:42.820 yeah man thanks for spending your time with us today i appreciate everything you've done for me man

01:39:46.300 i can't thank i can't thank you guys enough oh yeah it's been a blast man thank you so much

01:39:51.260 now i'm just floating on the breeze and i feel i'm falling like these leaves i must be cornerstone

01:40:01.080 oh but when i reach that ground i'll share this peace of mind i found i can feel it in my bones

01:40:12.000 it in my bones so date gonna tell you

01:40:14.000 yeah but it's gonna tell you

01:40:14.360 yeah but it's gonna tell you

01:40:14.820 yeah but it's gonna tell you

01:40:15.300 yeah but it's gonna tell you

01:40:15.480 yeah

01:40:16.120 but it's gonna tell you

01:40:22.820 yeah but it's gonna tell you

01:40:25.100 it's gonna tell you

01:40:29.820 Yeah but it's gonna tell you

01:40:35.340 yeah but it's gonna tell you

01:40:36.700 yeah but it's gonna tell you

This Past Weekend with Theo Von - July 23, 2024

E518 A Mall Cop

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Summary

Transcript