This Past Weekend with Theo Von - July 23, 2024


E518 A Mall Cop


Episode Stats


Length

1 hour and 40 minutes

Words per minute

204.5617

Word count

20,595

Sentence count

1,430

Harmful content

Misogyny

66

sentences flagged

Toxicity

686

sentences flagged

Hate speech

144

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

Gus Parsons served 10 years as a Mall Cop. He talks about how he got into Mall Cop, how he became a cop, and what it's like to be a mall cop in the late 90s and early 00s.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 We hope you're enjoying your Air Canada flight.
00:00:02.320 Rocky's Vacation, here we come.
00:00:05.060 Whoa, is this economy?
00:00:07.180 Free beer, wine, and snacks.
00:00:09.620 Sweet! 0.95
00:00:10.720 Fast-free Wi-Fi means I can make dinner reservations before we land.
00:00:14.760 And with live TV, I'm not missing the game.
00:00:17.820 It's kind of like, I'm already on vacation.
00:00:20.980 Nice! 0.94
00:00:22.240 On behalf of Air Canada, nice travels.
00:00:25.260 Wi-Fi available to Airplane members on Equipped Flight.
00:00:27.200 Sponsored by Bell. Conditions apply.
00:00:28.720 CRCanada.com.
00:00:30.320 I've got a few tour dates to tell you about Wallingford, Connecticut,
00:00:35.220 Portland, Maine, Bangor, Maine, Moncton, Canada, Las Vegas, Nevada.
00:00:42.060 We'll be back for the USC LSU football weekend.
00:00:46.160 Oklahoma City, Northern Little Rock, Springfield, Missouri,
00:00:50.420 Kansas City, Missouri, Sioux Falls, South Dakota, La Crosse, Wisconsin,
00:00:55.000 Green Bay, Wisconsin, Moline, Illinois.
00:00:57.920 You can get tickets for those at TheoVaughn.com slash T-O-U-R.
00:01:04.140 Thank you so much for your support.
00:01:05.800 Today's guest served 10 years as a mall cop.
00:01:11.900 You know who I'm talking about, that fella that's just looking all beast mode outside of the Cinnabon, baby. 0.65
00:01:17.540 You know what I'm talking about.
00:01:19.060 That Build-A-Bear badass, baby.
00:01:22.220 Mall copping.
00:01:23.540 We get into it all. 0.97
00:01:24.520 The stories, the stealing, the sex.
00:01:27.200 Hey, grateful for his time.
00:01:30.100 Today's guest is mall cop Gus Parsons.
00:01:35.420 Shine that light on me.
00:01:41.300 I'll sit and tell you my stories.
00:01:46.580 Shine on me.
00:01:49.920 And I will find a song I've been singing just before.
00:02:02.140 And now I've been moving way through.
00:02:04.260 Gus Parsons, thanks for coming in, man.
00:02:06.740 Hey, I'm glad to be here, bro.
00:02:08.980 You've worked in security for 20 years, right?
00:02:11.260 Yes, sir.
00:02:11.400 Mall cop.
00:02:12.220 Mall cop.
00:02:12.860 For 10 years.
00:02:14.380 10 years.
00:02:15.000 Wow.
00:02:15.420 Did my tour.
00:02:16.220 Did you?
00:02:16.660 Yeah, that's great.
00:02:17.780 And how do you get into mall copping?
00:02:21.540 Basically, zero education.
00:02:24.320 No goals in life.
00:02:25.960 Oh, really?
00:02:27.160 No, it's just one of those things that kind of just happens.
00:02:30.900 I started off doing other security, and then it just turns into like, hey, I need a job,
00:02:36.940 and a full-time job at that.
00:02:38.880 Yeah.
00:02:39.780 And mall security is usually one of those ones like, hey, man, can you breathe?
00:02:44.200 And I'm like, yes, fully functional.
00:02:46.760 And they're like, you're hired, you know?
00:02:48.280 So that's how I got into it.
00:02:50.260 And then-
00:02:50.840 Was your father in mall copping?
00:02:52.580 Or was it a-
00:02:53.740 It's not a-
00:02:54.420 No, I'm not.
00:02:55.060 Okay.
00:02:55.420 My dad was actually a bus driver.
00:02:56.740 Oh, he was?
00:02:57.180 Yeah.
00:02:57.700 That's cool, man.
00:02:58.460 I've ridden on buses, and I like it.
00:03:00.500 I mean, the fact of us wearing uniforms in the family, that's a thing.
00:03:04.280 Oh, it is.
00:03:04.780 Yeah, it's not military.
00:03:05.540 You know, bus drivers, security guards.
00:03:06.660 Yeah.
00:03:07.320 So you get a job at the mall, right?
00:03:09.440 So where's the first mall you clock in at?
00:03:11.920 The first one I ever did?
00:03:13.900 Yeah.
00:03:14.280 It was called Horton Plaza.
00:03:15.580 It was downtown San Diego.
00:03:17.200 No longer there, rest in peace.
00:03:19.800 But it was a three-story mall.
00:03:21.820 Had the theater down there.
00:03:23.720 Had all the kids hung out there at the time, because the buses went and connected all through
00:03:27.500 there.
00:03:28.060 Who told you to get a job as a mall cop?
00:03:29.480 Did you just-
00:03:30.600 Myself, honestly.
00:03:31.660 You did?
00:03:31.980 Yeah.
00:03:32.420 I wasn't into the whole labor thing.
00:03:34.120 You know, I did the little side jobs, building swimming pools, just being out in the sun.
00:03:38.940 Stuff I didn't want-
00:03:39.420 What do you mean being out in the sun?
00:03:40.440 Like what, hitchhiking or whatever?
00:03:41.480 Yeah, you know, it was a hard job.
00:03:42.820 No, you know, just like labor, you know, like hard labor, you know, like digging and trenches
00:03:46.960 and, like I said, digging swimming pools and stuff.
00:03:49.160 It just, I'm too fat for stuff like that.
00:03:51.460 So when I got into like the mall cop thing, it was kind of supposed to be a lazy job for
00:03:56.120 me, and it definitely wasn't a lazy job for me, because I still come from the era of chasing
00:04:00.360 people down.
00:04:01.320 Okay.
00:04:01.940 And that used to be fun.
00:04:04.140 What, as a mall cop you mean?
00:04:05.220 Yeah, yeah.
00:04:05.660 Well, first of all, what is the training like?
00:04:09.140 Oh, here's your, here's the mall, here's the clock in.
00:04:15.000 Like I said, you can still breathe, right?
00:04:16.860 I'm like, yeah, okay, well, you're fully functional, you know?
00:04:20.340 Training with that, it's just more like-
00:04:21.800 There's no like, you don't have to have a 40 time, you don't have to have like a, there's
00:04:25.980 not like a physical requirements to be a mall cop.
00:04:30.280 No.
00:04:30.920 They actually will give you a segue if you can't meet the physical requirements.
00:04:34.520 No way.
00:04:34.920 Yeah.
00:04:35.620 Like, oh, you can't walk that fast?
00:04:37.480 Well, here's some mobile wheels, you know?
00:04:39.840 Like, here you go. 0.99
00:04:40.800 That Paul Blart shit's real. 1.00
00:04:42.200 It's very much real. 1.00
00:04:43.140 Like, a lot of people make fun of it and stuff.
00:04:44.700 I'm like, actually, those are for the mall cops who can't get physical.
00:04:48.400 Wow.
00:04:48.980 And that's embarrassing.
00:04:49.920 I've gotten on those things and actually chased people as a joke.
00:04:53.600 Like, oh, they're stealing.
00:04:54.740 I'm like, oh, watch this.
00:04:55.640 You know?
00:04:56.320 It's embarrassing for them.
00:04:57.500 They're running through the mall and you're just like, coasting.
00:04:59.920 Yeah, exactly.
00:05:01.060 That look right there. 0.99
00:05:02.280 Well, segues are so ridiculous. 0.77
00:05:03.980 Because the whole, every time you're talking to a guy on a segway, he's like, all right, 1.00
00:05:06.640 man, I'll see you guys later. 0.99
00:05:09.040 And then he just takes, he's just like fucking- 0.96
00:05:10.980 Or you get those real professional ones and do the full spin on you and they're just like- 1.00
00:05:14.400 Yeah, that shit's, yeah. 0.99
00:05:15.700 All that like- 0.99
00:05:16.980 But the training-wise, man, it's not much.
00:05:19.920 So there's no training.
00:05:20.860 So there's no like-
00:05:21.700 But there's not like where there's boot camp or anything like that.
00:05:25.120 Oh, no, no more.
00:05:25.940 No.
00:05:26.040 Okay.
00:05:26.380 I think that was the 70s security guards.
00:05:28.700 I used to learn from those tough guys.
00:05:30.120 Did you?
00:05:30.520 Oh, yeah. 1.00
00:05:31.520 Punch them in the face. 1.00
00:05:32.260 I'm like, well, we can do that? 1.00
00:05:33.260 Like, we're not cops?
00:05:34.000 I'm like, when you find out as a security guard that you're not a cop and things change, 0.99
00:05:39.380 you're like, oh, I can do some shit now. 0.98
00:05:42.620 But that was back in the day. 1.00
00:05:43.500 Now you just have to kind of watch them steal and run off out the mall.
00:05:46.860 And you're like, hey.
00:05:47.860 But what do you mean when you watch them when you see them?
00:05:51.300 Like, okay. 0.99
00:05:52.000 So as of like the past 10 years now, you know, everyone's got cell phones and a stick up their ass. 0.99
00:05:57.840 So it's like, hey, I'm trying to steal from your store. 0.99
00:05:59.840 Don't touch me.
00:06:01.140 So now some guy won a case, I don't know, however many years ago.
00:06:04.460 Now it's like, you can't chase them.
00:06:06.660 You can't touch them.
00:06:07.680 You just have to kind of monitor their stealing.
00:06:09.500 Like, hey, man, put that Gucci belt in that pocket.
00:06:12.260 It's showing, you know.
00:06:13.160 Like, you got to kind of escort them out the mall. 1.00
00:06:15.520 So what do you, but you can't, can you even, what's your, what do you just be like, stop, fucker? 1.00
00:06:20.920 Yeah. 1.00
00:06:21.160 Can you even do that?
00:06:22.060 No, you can't even say that. 1.00
00:06:23.160 You can't just say fucker. 1.00
00:06:24.540 You just say fucker, you know. 1.00
00:06:26.020 Like, you say stop. 1.00
00:06:26.820 They're like, hey, you can't tell me what to do.
00:06:28.640 I identify as go, you know. 1.00
00:06:29.920 You're like, oh, shit, you know. 0.99
00:06:31.300 So there's no training. 1.00
00:06:32.700 No.
00:06:33.080 Okay.
00:06:33.360 Okay.
00:06:33.620 So there's no training.
00:06:34.880 Do you shadow anybody when you first start?
00:06:37.160 Like, yeah, you'll go in, you'll shadow a couple of the guys that have been there a while.
00:06:41.040 They'll show you what stores to stay away from, what stores are cool.
00:06:45.300 More or less just doing the whole rounds.
00:06:47.560 A lot of time you would have, some malls would make you like scan in every 10 minutes through the place.
00:06:52.900 But then we just kind of figured out if you just took a picture and then went to the copy place and made the copies of those and had a sheet.
00:06:59.540 You can just sit in the office and scan those things if nobody's watching.
00:07:02.620 So as soon as your shadow leaves, that was pretty much it.
00:07:05.260 Oh, so you're saying like a QR code?
00:07:07.000 Yeah.
00:07:07.320 Like at each place you'd have to scan as you're moving around the mall?
00:07:10.760 Yeah.
00:07:10.900 So every day you'd have to go and check in like, oh, I'm at the Baby Gap, you know, here.
00:07:15.320 And then you just have to keep checking in as you go through the mall to make sure that you've secured the whole place, stuff like that.
00:07:20.820 Like I'm at Baby Gap.
00:07:21.820 I'm at Bed, Bath & Beyond.
00:07:22.780 I'm at Rocco's Tacos or whatever and just around the bin.
00:07:27.080 Yeah.
00:07:27.740 So we'd just take a picture of the barcode, send it to our email, put all the barcodes on a sheet, printed it, and then we had it in the office.
00:07:35.520 So you could just sit there and just scan them every few minutes?
00:07:37.560 Yeah.
00:07:37.720 We'd put like timers on our cell phones and stuff like, hey, how long do you think it would take us to get from here to here? 1.00
00:07:42.140 One guy was an idiot. 0.99
00:07:43.740 He would scan them all in a row. 1.00
00:07:46.260 And one time our supervisor came and he was like, hey, Speedy, like, how are you doing this?
00:07:52.500 And he's like, and we got caught a little bit, but yeah.
00:07:55.940 Wow.
00:07:56.300 That's a good hack, bro.
00:07:57.540 Yeah.
00:07:57.880 We had a lot of hacks at the mall.
00:07:59.080 Did y'all?
00:07:59.600 Hell yeah.
00:08:00.460 When you pull up with, so when you start, when you first start there, what are their, were there like old heads working there?
00:08:06.560 Like what are the different types of mall cops?
00:08:08.040 Oh man.
00:08:08.560 Okay, so you got your, you got your pant booters.
00:08:12.240 We call them pant booters.
00:08:13.720 Those are the security guards who did not make it as a cop.
00:08:17.120 Their uncle or their step uncle was a cop.
00:08:20.180 So they wanted to be a cop.
00:08:21.380 So they come in, they got the whole vest on, everything's tucked in nice.
00:08:24.980 They got their pants tucked into their boots.
00:08:27.320 You know, they're ready for combat.
00:08:28.680 And it's like, bro, it's, it's a mall job, you know?
00:08:31.220 So you got that guy.
00:08:32.180 And, and I will tell everyone that, you know, that guy, we all work with that guy.
00:08:36.660 Yeah.
00:08:38.340 Then sometimes you get the little thug dudes that are just like hanging around just because
00:08:41.940 they need a job.
00:08:42.720 And that's not, you know, I'm not being discriminative, but that's, it's very true.
00:08:46.400 We get a lot of little thug guys that do security. 0.91
00:08:48.520 It's great because they're the ones that usually bring the weed for us, you know? 0.99
00:08:51.540 So it's always like, fuck yeah. 0.99
00:08:53.080 Love you guys. 0.99
00:08:54.940 So those guys are usually ones like, you know, and that's, that's not a race.
00:08:58.340 That's just the little ghetto guys that always come. 1.00
00:09:00.480 They don't do their job.
00:09:02.080 Shirt's untucked.
00:09:02.900 They're like, eh, we just do the bare minimum.
00:09:04.400 If there's someone stealing, let us know.
00:09:07.320 Yeah.
00:09:07.440 Those guys always look like they're going to get some, some girl pregnant. 1.00
00:09:11.280 Or they already have.
00:09:12.660 Yeah.
00:09:13.100 The girl from Cinnabon's usually pregnant. 0.95
00:09:14.820 Is she?
00:09:15.260 Hell yeah.
00:09:15.860 Oh yeah.
00:09:16.580 It's in the oven, baby.
00:09:17.540 Hell yeah.
00:09:18.020 Both the bun and that.
00:09:20.180 Two buns going at once.
00:09:21.780 Drizzle it.
00:09:22.540 Yeah.
00:09:23.980 Okay.
00:09:24.440 So, and so those are the main two types of cops.
00:09:26.480 Do you feel like the mall cops?
00:09:28.280 And, and then there's just the, the average Joe.
00:09:31.020 Like I, I would have put myself in the average Joe category.
00:09:34.460 Like, you know, just the dad who just needs a job, but there's that guy.
00:09:39.140 Okay.
00:09:39.300 There's the real Paul Blart kind of type, you know, like no girlfriend, no wife, you know,
00:09:44.940 lives at home with mom.
00:09:45.960 Can't wait to go play video games type guy.
00:09:48.020 You know?
00:09:48.580 Like almost like the guy that never left the mall in a way.
00:09:51.320 He grew up in the mall and was like, I'm going to get a job here.
00:09:54.400 You know?
00:09:54.840 Like never left.
00:09:55.520 I'm going to stay here.
00:09:56.000 Yeah.
00:09:56.220 Malls are awesome.
00:09:56.960 Yeah.
00:09:57.200 I'm getting that 10% discount.
00:09:59.180 Malls are awesome, dude.
00:10:00.100 I remember in our, uh, we used to go to Slidell, Louisiana.
00:10:03.060 They had a mall there.
00:10:04.060 Bring it up.
00:10:04.460 See if it's there.
00:10:05.620 Just see some images of it.
00:10:07.120 And they, um.
00:10:08.760 So this is a North shore square mall.
00:10:10.960 Yeah.
00:10:11.460 Those are the doors we go in, dude.
00:10:13.140 And we camp, they let you camp right outside by the parking lot, like in the medians.
00:10:17.280 So, uh, we get dropped over there on Saturday.
00:10:20.720 We'd hang out at the mall and then we'd sleep in our tents.
00:10:23.980 And then Sunday we'd go back into the mall, dude.
00:10:26.660 And they had a church service in there too.
00:10:28.540 And we could just go do it all right there.
00:10:30.640 Get you, um, yeah, some lunch, get you on some of those little shaker chairs that, you 1.00
00:10:36.300 know.
00:10:36.720 I loved when those first came out.
00:10:38.200 Oh, I was there for that.
00:10:39.580 Like I was there for that evolution of the mall chair.
00:10:41.960 Were you?
00:10:42.340 Yeah.
00:10:42.580 They just popped up one day.
00:10:43.640 We're like, what in the lazy is this?
00:10:46.200 You know, like, it was great.
00:10:48.160 You know?
00:10:48.620 So all of us would be on our break just like, if I can vibrate now.
00:10:52.160 I'm like, you can't do that. 0.98
00:10:53.260 I'm like, shit, if I can't, it only costs a dollar, you know? 0.99
00:10:55.840 Yeah. 0.99
00:10:56.240 It's great.
00:10:56.720 Hey, whisper something nasty to me, you know?
00:10:58.980 Oh, it's great.
00:11:00.000 Segway.
00:11:00.480 You're like, oh, yeah.
00:11:01.520 What was the uniform like that you guys had?
00:11:04.060 Uh, it was, it was just a basic cop knockoff.
00:11:06.520 Um, I refused to wear the Mount Me hats.
00:11:09.280 Cause.
00:11:09.720 What is it?
00:11:10.080 The Mountie hats.
00:11:11.060 Oh, Mountie hats.
00:11:11.960 Yeah.
00:11:12.220 We call them Mountie hats, you know, from.
00:11:13.940 Oh, yeah.
00:11:14.840 But no, some malls will literally make you wear a Mountie hat.
00:11:17.680 And it's like, why? 0.99
00:11:19.760 We're like, we're in the fucking mall. 0.99
00:11:21.300 We're not like. 0.99
00:11:22.280 Who are y'all?
00:11:23.240 Yeah.
00:11:23.560 Like, I don't know if you could.
00:11:24.740 Yeah.
00:11:24.880 See?
00:11:25.280 Like, that's literally, that's literally how a lot of mall cops will.
00:11:28.240 Yeah.
00:11:28.520 Why do they even make y'all look like that?
00:11:30.520 I have no idea. 0.99
00:11:31.560 That's one of the most ridiculous things. 0.99
00:11:33.180 Whoever did that, you really hate all of us. 0.99
00:11:35.700 Yeah.
00:11:36.320 Whoever, like, because there's an ultimate mall cop out there who's just like, I'm going to make
00:11:40.040 this the worst uniform ever.
00:11:41.700 And it's funny because you get those little ghetto dudes are like, they come and they're 1.00
00:11:45.160 like, fuck, yeah, I'm here to work. 0.99
00:11:46.520 And they're like, okay, well, put on your little Mountie hat. 1.00
00:11:47.900 And you're like, oh, shit, you know? 0.99
00:11:50.040 Why is the hat, do you think it's just so people know immediately who is there to help 0.99
00:11:55.440 them if they need it?
00:11:57.220 I suppose.
00:11:58.320 But it's just more of like a target.
00:12:00.380 Oh, yeah.
00:12:00.940 You know, it's like at the, we're already getting called rent-a-cops and everything else
00:12:04.360 in the book. 0.98
00:12:04.760 Yeah, f*** or whatever. 0.99
00:12:05.440 Yeah. 0.99
00:12:05.740 You know, it's like.
00:12:06.260 Sorry. 0.99
00:12:07.080 I'm shit. 1.00
00:12:07.700 I don't give a f***. 1.00
00:12:08.440 Yeah, I don't care. 0.98
00:12:09.020 I mean, either. 0.98
00:12:09.540 But I've been called f*** all the time. 0.97
00:12:11.820 Oh, yeah. 0.99
00:12:12.260 But now they're like, oh, look at this f*** in that hat. 0.99
00:12:14.780 Yeah. 1.00
00:12:15.140 It's like, you're like, fuck, man. 1.00
00:12:16.680 I could have just. 1.00
00:12:17.080 I feel like you got me there.
00:12:18.160 Yeah. 0.99
00:12:18.560 You're like, f***, we were good. 0.99
00:12:19.860 Yeah. 0.99
00:12:20.220 Now the hat. 1.00
00:12:21.240 F*** me. 0.99
00:12:22.080 And it's like, you can't even deny that. 1.00
00:12:23.620 You could argue back with like, well, you're a f***. 1.00
00:12:25.740 Well, look at your shoes. 1.00
00:12:26.960 And then all you have to do is go.
00:12:29.220 You have a Mountie hat on.
00:12:30.640 Yeah. 1.00
00:12:30.980 You're a Canadian f***. 1.00
00:12:32.260 And then on top of it, here's the worst part. 1.00
00:12:35.440 Some malls will do the stripes and like, I've been here for two years.
00:12:40.180 I got a stripe.
00:12:41.060 You know, I got me a little lieutenant stripes.
00:12:42.800 Like, lieutenant of what? 0.94
00:12:44.260 The f***ing food court? 0.95
00:12:45.620 You know? 0.98
00:12:46.120 Like, who cares?
00:12:47.460 But those are some of the malls.
00:12:49.140 I've dealt with a few malls.
00:12:50.420 And one of the malls I had to deal with the Mountie hats and the stripes.
00:12:53.140 They give you stripes for how many years you've been there?
00:12:54.640 Mm-hmm.
00:12:55.060 Wow.
00:12:55.580 Yeah.
00:12:55.780 And one guy had like six. 0.99
00:12:56.800 I was like, you need a f***ing life, brother. 0.98
00:13:00.040 All decorated. 0.99
00:13:00.820 Looked like a general and s***. 0.97
00:13:01.960 He's serious, huh? 0.98
00:13:03.240 Yeah.
00:13:04.100 And then he was the one on the Mountie hat who had, like, if you look at them, they have
00:13:09.040 like these little like ropes or something that's on.
00:13:12.420 I don't know what they're actually called.
00:13:14.000 His was gold.
00:13:15.020 Out of every, like everyone had black ones.
00:13:17.040 They were gray hats with black.
00:13:18.100 He had to have a gold robe.
00:13:19.340 Because he was the leader or something?
00:13:20.600 He was just there.
00:13:21.180 He wasn't even the supervisor.
00:13:22.460 He was just there the longest.
00:13:23.880 Yeah.
00:13:24.160 It's like, okay, like, you know.
00:13:28.140 10-4, yeah.
00:13:29.200 And what kind of tactical gear do you guys have?
00:13:33.920 It depends on how they want you dressed.
00:13:37.660 I've had to do the whole get up to where I, like, I've been an armed security guard.
00:13:41.580 So I've had to wear guns and stuff and the holsters and bulletproof vests and all that
00:13:46.600 just because of what was going on in the situation.
00:13:49.120 And those are fun.
00:13:50.200 It's fun to dress up like G.I.
00:13:51.460 Joe because, you know, I'm 45.
00:13:52.620 So it's like I get to play out a little kid fantasy something.
00:13:56.120 I'm like, man, I kind of want to do this when I was a kid. 0.99
00:13:58.280 And I'm just like, yeah, fuck yeah, you know. 0.99
00:13:59.700 Yeah. 1.00
00:14:00.060 All teched up.
00:14:01.880 When I worked dispensaries, I used to work a lot of dispensaries this past 10 years too. 0.98
00:14:06.100 We were all teched up and tacked out and looking like SWAT and shit until the real cops came. 0.92
00:14:11.460 And they're like, what are you doing playing dress up? 0.98
00:14:13.120 You know, selling weed.
00:14:14.700 But are, wait, are mall cops allowed to carry weapons?
00:14:19.620 At one point we were.
00:14:21.500 And then one point we were not.
00:14:24.100 We were allowed to carry batons and what, pre-rolls or whatever?
00:14:29.040 Yeah, it's basically, it's like, it's either I'm going to beat you or here, smoke this. 1.00
00:14:32.580 You know, fuck. 1.00
00:14:33.700 But you guys had a baton? 1.00
00:14:35.000 Like, my era was like the last era of being able to carry a baton.
00:14:40.400 Yeah. 0.98
00:14:40.800 And what's funny in California, like, say you fucking come running out and I have a gun and a baton. 1.00
00:14:47.260 If I shoot you in the leg, I'm good. 1.00
00:14:50.040 If I hit you with that baton, LA riots all over. 1.00
00:14:55.580 There, see? 0.96
00:14:56.880 Wow, the baton, was it heavy?
00:14:58.960 Oh, yeah, it's about an eight pound stick.
00:15:01.260 Like, I'm just, and they, there were some guys that would actually teach you how to use the baton and stuff.
00:15:05.900 And it's like, they get you on this wrist thing and bend you all up. 0.97
00:15:08.760 And you're like, oh, shit, can I just hit him with it? 0.97
00:15:10.420 You know, like, I'm like, nah, you have to use it tactically. 1.00
00:15:13.200 That's what they said?
00:15:14.020 Did you ever get to hit somebody with it?
00:15:15.360 I threw somebody one time.
00:15:16.940 Yeah. 0.99
00:15:17.340 Yeah, it was like right out of the fucking movies, too. 0.99
00:15:19.720 You hit him? 1.00
00:15:20.460 In the legs and he tripped and he fell and we beat the shit out of him. 0.99
00:15:23.620 It's okay. 0.99
00:15:24.000 It was, man, it was a long time ago.
00:15:25.200 How long ago was it? 1.00
00:15:26.040 Oh, shit. 1.00
00:15:27.400 No, shit, early 20s. 1.00
00:15:29.780 So, like, 2020 or 2003, maybe, something like that. 0.99
00:15:33.180 What's the statute of limitations on that, you think?
00:15:36.860 Mall abuse or whatever.
00:15:39.700 Non-sexual.
00:15:42.200 Those are the best, though.
00:15:44.220 Ten years.
00:15:45.180 You're good.
00:15:47.060 You're good, dude.
00:15:48.160 All right.
00:15:48.420 So, I threw this baton at this guy, right?
00:15:50.800 Now, he was running out the store.
00:15:52.800 Somebody's like, hey, you know, thief.
00:15:54.560 And I was like, and I swear to you, I don't know what movie clicked in my head.
00:15:58.640 I was like, grab your baton, throw it.
00:16:01.200 I just threw it and I said, and it made the little noise and everything, clipped him in
00:16:06.320 the leg.
00:16:06.660 He tripped. 0.99
00:16:07.080 And I was like, in my soul, I was like, I fucking did it. 0.90
00:16:11.640 And by the time I realized that my guys were already on him, I'm like, yeah, that was awesome. 0.96
00:16:15.900 But yeah, you do that now, you're going, like, as a security guard, you might go to jail.
00:16:20.180 Yeah. 0.99
00:16:20.520 That sucks. 0.98
00:16:21.300 Well, now it's so crazy. 1.00
00:16:22.460 Literally, a thief can be like, watch this asshole security guard try to stop me from getting 1.00
00:16:29.400 what I need. 1.00
00:16:30.160 And you're like, you just totally rephrased stealing.
00:16:33.520 Right.
00:16:33.780 Okay. 0.99
00:16:34.280 And why are you fucking filming this? 0.99
00:16:37.260 Like, yes, things have definitely gotten really ridiculous out there. 0.99
00:16:40.640 That's for sure, man.
00:16:42.020 So outside of the baton, did you guys, was there taser ever?
00:16:45.100 Was there any smoke screens or smoke bombs or flares or baby flares or anything like that?
00:16:52.200 Not smoke bombs.
00:16:53.560 We used fart bombs.
00:16:54.960 Really?
00:16:55.380 Yeah.
00:16:55.680 The little, like, fart ones, if the crowd was, like, too much, like, it wasn't a legal
00:17:02.140 tactical move, old school move, but instead of, like, you know, like, hey, everyone clear 0.99
00:17:06.720 out, we wouldn't say shit. 0.99
00:17:08.760 Just throw one of those fart things on the ground or something? 1.00
00:17:11.440 Oh, the stink bombs.
00:17:12.420 They were called stink bombs.
00:17:13.660 We throw a stink bomb on the ground, cleared. 1.00
00:17:16.140 Not a word, not a fucking word out of our mouth. 1.00
00:17:18.220 And were those government issued or whatever? 0.99
00:17:20.120 No, those were out of the ice cream truck on the way to work.
00:17:24.120 Oh, they sold them there?
00:17:24.780 Oh, yeah.
00:17:25.260 The ice cream truck?
00:17:25.900 Oh, yeah.
00:17:26.100 You're like, oh, let me get a bubble gum ice cream and some stink bombs. 1.00
00:17:29.360 Those are the good ice cream trucks when they have the cap guns still, you know?
00:17:32.420 Gang. 0.66
00:17:32.860 Yeah.
00:17:33.160 I didn't know they had all of that.
00:17:35.040 Yeah, we just got the sweets or whatever.
00:17:36.440 I don't think ours had kind of a, you know, violence section or whatever, semi-violence.
00:17:44.040 This security guard filmed all his farts for six months.
00:17:47.460 You ever meet him? 0.99
00:17:48.460 No, but damn, where is he at? 1.00
00:17:50.440 That's a fucking, that's a goal. 1.00
00:17:52.200 I'm going to go seven. 1.00
00:17:53.200 He got fired for it.
00:17:54.780 Paul Flart, he called himself.
00:17:57.060 Why would he get fired?
00:17:59.060 I don't know.
00:17:59.660 You can't fart anymore.
00:18:01.860 You kidding?
00:18:02.400 You can't do anything, man.
00:18:06.680 He really did.
00:18:11.380 Oh, yeah.
00:18:12.120 By the way, this is that dad I'm talking about that works.
00:18:18.260 I love this dude.
00:18:19.580 And he just.
00:18:21.340 His hair.
00:18:22.340 His hair and his mustache.
00:18:23.420 One cool thing about a ball is, though, honestly, it's got the perfect acoustics.
00:18:35.540 It really does.
00:18:36.700 For a fart to just rock the fricking Casbah in there. 0.98
00:18:40.080 Especially if you have, like, that back alley of, like, behind the stores where you do all
00:18:44.800 the deliveries, you can get some good echoes in there.
00:18:47.020 Oh.
00:18:47.500 Yeah.
00:18:47.900 It's a real farter's paradise back in there.
00:18:51.540 So take me on a typical mall shift, man.
00:18:53.640 You get there.
00:18:54.680 You.
00:18:55.640 Get there.
00:18:56.120 Clock in.
00:18:58.120 Clock in. 0.99
00:18:58.960 Usually take a shit or go smoke because we don't do that for free. 0.99
00:19:02.820 You have to do that on the clock. 1.00
00:19:03.980 Yeah.
00:19:04.140 You got to get paid.
00:19:05.560 Did you have a strategy meeting or anything like that?
00:19:07.600 Yeah.
00:19:07.840 We used a little powwow.
00:19:08.980 All right, guys.
00:19:09.560 You know, we're going to have a good day today.
00:19:12.360 Get out there and do your job.
00:19:16.100 Our powwows for mall security wasn't that much.
00:19:18.700 Really?
00:19:19.080 Nah.
00:19:19.220 Is there ever any intel that comes in that's like, hey, we got this to worry about or there's
00:19:22.380 like a drug group passing through?
00:19:23.980 Anything like that?
00:19:24.400 Yeah.
00:19:24.560 Sometimes we would get, like, a stack of papers on our thing and there would be, like, 0.68
00:19:27.500 pictures of, like, some random Asian dude stealing, like, cologne or some shit. 0.95
00:19:31.460 And you're like, watch out for, you know, him. 0.98
00:19:32.980 And you're like, okay.
00:19:33.600 And, you know, you never see him ever because he already done stole.
00:19:37.060 So there are those moments, though, where you get, like, a paper and you're like, hey,
00:19:41.720 mall's most wanted or something. 0.99
00:19:43.060 And he walks by you and you're just like, fuck, yeah. 0.99
00:19:45.620 You know, this is my moment right here. 0.99
00:19:47.220 Really?
00:19:47.620 Yeah.
00:19:48.260 And then.
00:19:48.720 Like, take me on one of those kind of.
00:19:50.200 So you, like, okay.
00:19:51.140 So sometimes they'll make a big deal out of it.
00:19:53.380 Like, hey, there's a small guy.
00:19:54.580 He's going around. 1.00
00:19:55.320 He's stealing a bunch of shit. 1.00
00:19:56.220 Here's pictures of him. 1.00
00:19:57.080 Okay.
00:19:57.940 Like the wet bandits or whatever. 0.85
00:19:59.640 Hell yeah. 0.97
00:20:00.720 Shout out wet bandits. 0.92
00:20:01.600 But something like that.
00:20:03.120 You know what I'm saying?
00:20:03.380 Like a guy that's made a name for himself.
00:20:05.060 Yep.
00:20:06.280 Props stealing from malls.
00:20:08.220 Yeah.
00:20:08.360 We had one guy who was.
00:20:09.380 I bring up the clone thing because he was actually a cologne thief. 0.99
00:20:12.280 He would steal all the samples without the lids and shit. 0.95
00:20:14.640 So he would get all these samples and just run off. 0.99
00:20:17.260 But we got.
00:20:18.300 A little sample, baby, huh?
00:20:18.940 He was Asian?
00:20:19.840 Yeah.
00:20:20.300 Oh, God.
00:20:21.180 He was.
00:20:21.580 Yeah.
00:20:21.920 I actually bought some from him after the fact.
00:20:24.860 Seen him on the.
00:20:25.220 Some stolen ones from him?
00:20:26.400 Yeah.
00:20:28.600 And they're only 15 bucks.
00:20:29.840 I seen him on the trolley.
00:20:30.980 I was like, hey, dude, were you the one stealing cologne?
00:20:33.040 He's like, yeah.
00:20:34.600 Which one do you want? 1.00
00:20:35.300 And I was like, fuck, man. 1.00
00:20:36.080 Let me get that CK1. 0.99
00:20:37.720 Oh, CK1 wasn't too bad, huh?
00:20:39.220 No, it wasn't.
00:20:39.920 Not at all.
00:20:40.420 God, they had some good colognes back then.
00:20:42.620 I remember they had aqua.
00:20:47.060 Aqua Di Gio.
00:20:48.060 Aqua Di Gio, dude.
00:20:49.640 I'm actually wearing the black Aqua Di Gio right now.
00:20:51.700 Really?
00:20:52.160 Yes, sir.
00:20:52.580 They came out with black?
00:20:53.660 Yeah.
00:20:53.900 It was a darker little bottle or something.
00:20:56.380 Wow.
00:20:57.280 Yeah, dude.
00:20:57.800 Yes, sir.
00:20:58.200 That one right there.
00:20:59.020 That fourth one right there.
00:21:00.120 I felt.
00:21:00.680 I just was always so ashamed of myself as a child.
00:21:02.540 I never felt like I deserved to smell good.
00:21:04.600 No.
00:21:04.820 You even wore cool water?
00:21:06.220 No. 0.99
00:21:06.720 Cool water was for brothers or kids that were fucking, you know? 0.99
00:21:10.200 I wasn't wearing that. 0.97
00:21:11.140 What would I wear?
00:21:11.900 I would sometimes get some Old Spice from my dad, and then I would also put like, what
00:21:19.160 would I do?
00:21:19.480 I would rub like, what was it that had kind of, oh, deodorant.
00:21:25.540 I would just put deodorant on the outside of my arms, or like right here or whatever,
00:21:29.100 because my mom taught us, you know, we watched my mom do perfumes or whatever. 0.94
00:21:34.700 Okay, so you're at work.
00:21:35.800 You guys have had a strategy meeting, right? 0.99
00:21:37.660 We got the paper, we see, we'll just use, we'll say Bobby Lee stole some fucking cologne, 1.00
00:21:43.780 so we're like, all right, cool, Bobby Lee, he's the fucking guy. 1.00
00:21:46.820 Purps. 0.99
00:21:47.260 What do y'all call it, is there a term y'all use? 1.00
00:21:50.180 This fucking guy. 1.00
00:21:51.680 Yes, man. 1.00
00:21:52.740 This fucking guy, man. 1.00
00:21:53.720 We're going to get him. 1.00
00:21:55.760 No, we didn't, like, a lot of us didn't try to use the whole cop terms and stuff like 0.93
00:21:59.180 that, because then he kind of looked like the douchebag, you know? 0.88
00:22:01.340 Right. 0.98
00:22:01.620 So we just leave it to the guy who tucks his pants in his boots, like, the perp is here.
00:22:04.620 It's like, Bobby Lee's here, and that's all it is, you know?
00:22:07.360 Yeah. 0.99
00:22:07.800 So literally the one day that the perp walked by, I kind of was like, holy shit, this is 0.98
00:22:14.260 him, you know? 0.99
00:22:15.000 That's him.
00:22:15.400 So I radioed it in, you know, did my whole gust to the headquarters, and they're like,
00:22:19.300 what's up?
00:22:19.600 I'm like, yo, Bobby Lee's here. 0.99
00:22:21.040 And they're like, no shit? 0.97
00:22:21.820 I'm like, yeah, why don't you come here? 0.99
00:22:23.280 So they started watching him on the camera.
00:22:24.820 We started following him, and they're like, just let him steal first.
00:22:28.000 And this was back in the day of, like, we can touch you, grab you, throw you, you know?
00:22:31.600 So we followed him into, like, I think it was Macy's, and he walked right into Macy's,
00:22:37.800 and he had no hesitation.
00:22:39.640 He started grabbing cologne, and just started putting it in his belt.
00:22:42.560 And you're watching him?
00:22:43.440 Yeah.
00:22:43.780 From how far away?
00:22:44.500 Like, were you guys strategically located somewhere?
00:22:47.420 I actually took my shirt off, because I just wore dickies. 1.00
00:22:50.740 So I don't know if you guys know what dickies are.
00:22:52.100 There's black pants. 0.83
00:22:52.640 Totally, dude.
00:22:53.320 Yeah.
00:22:53.580 So I just wore dickies.
00:22:54.440 I didn't wear the uniform. 0.99
00:22:54.700 Mexican freaking wedding wear. 1.00
00:22:56.160 Fuck, yeah. 1.00
00:22:56.500 So as soon as I took that off, his white shirt and dickies looked like I was from San Diego, 1.00
00:23:00.500 you know?
00:23:00.840 Yeah.
00:23:00.900 So I was walking by.
00:23:02.080 And he's doing his thing, man.
00:23:03.340 So you were undercover, pretty much.
00:23:04.600 Yeah.
00:23:05.140 I did a lot of undercover work at the mall. 1.00
00:23:07.060 Take your shit off, he just looked like an SA from MS, and he was like, good to go. 1.00
00:23:10.800 And so I see him. 1.00
00:23:13.160 He's stealing the shit, and I call back, and I said, what are we doing? 0.99
00:23:17.480 He goes, grab him. 1.00
00:23:19.380 Fucking just grab him. 1.00
00:23:20.940 We grab him. 1.00
00:23:21.880 Who grabs him?
00:23:22.680 You?
00:23:23.020 I grab him.
00:23:23.600 No, I grab him.
00:23:24.000 Okay, well, take me, and you're making the move on him to see you coming.
00:23:26.760 Did he come in from the back?
00:23:27.700 He actually saw me walk by.
00:23:29.000 He kind of gave me a nod, and I was like, because I gave him the look, like, hey, man, 1.00
00:23:31.820 steal that shit right on, you know? 1.00
00:23:33.560 Like, keep going. 1.00
00:23:34.980 I never was like, I would never give myself away.
00:23:37.100 So I walked around, and as soon as I said, grab him, I literally just walked up, grabbed
00:23:40.800 him by the shoulder, and said, hey, man, you're coming with me.
00:23:43.360 You know, I gave him the whole, like, you're coming with me, because it was my first
00:23:45.840 time actually just, like, apprehending somebody in the act.
00:23:48.780 And how long have you been a mall cop at that point until you got to apprehend this guy?
00:23:51.840 Probably about three years, and.
00:23:54.000 So I was just waiting.
00:23:55.140 It was my moment. 1.00
00:23:55.940 Waiting to grab this fucking guy. 1.00
00:23:57.020 Yeah, I snatched him up. 1.00
00:23:58.280 Hey, man, you're coming with me.
00:23:59.640 That's what you said?
00:24:00.360 I was like, hey, man.
00:24:00.840 Yeah, I was like, hey, man, you're coming with me.
00:24:02.820 The whole, like, the whole just nine, you know?
00:24:04.960 I was like, you're coming with me.
00:24:06.460 Lifted up his shoulders.
00:24:07.180 I was like, what do you think you're doing?
00:24:08.140 And he's like, and he just looked up and goes, oh, I'm sorry, but.
00:24:11.000 You put him on the ground?
00:24:12.520 Yeah, I tripped him on his leg, like, because we were backing up, and he's trying to lead
00:24:15.400 forward.
00:24:16.200 And any type of movement you do away from me, you're resisting.
00:24:19.400 Yeah. 0.99
00:24:19.620 We're fucking going down. 0.99
00:24:23.160 We're going forward, I just snatched his leg, we went down, I think one of the bottles 0.99
00:24:27.180 broke, because it just started smelling like fucking cologne badly. 0.99
00:24:29.880 Guilty. 1.00
00:24:30.620 Yeah, it literally, I was like, oh, shit. 0.99
00:24:33.080 It's because when we were in the office writing him up, and the cops were coming, he just smelled 0.99
00:24:37.320 like whatever cologne broke on him.
00:24:39.460 Everybody in there smelled, yeah.
00:24:41.440 Yeah, but.
00:24:41.840 Like aftershave or whatever.
00:24:42.960 But it was literally one of my best moments as a mall cop, just because I was like, I got
00:24:48.980 him.
00:24:49.160 And I saw the picture, and within an hour, there he was. 0.99
00:24:54.020 And I was like, my fucking golden goose, you're mine. 0.99
00:24:56.500 You know what I mean? 1.00
00:24:57.240 So it was good.
00:24:58.400 I loved it.
00:24:59.200 Now, do you then have to go prosecute?
00:25:01.540 You have to do a citizen's arrest.
00:25:03.960 You do a citizen's arrest.
00:25:06.160 You do all that.
00:25:07.160 So you guys take him where?
00:25:08.380 So you guys take him into the back room.
00:25:10.640 Do you have him wrapped up or tied up?
00:25:12.500 No, we just put a zip tie on his hand.
00:25:15.620 I had these big-ass industrial zip ties, and we usually used to leave them on this hook.
00:25:19.420 We never used them.
00:25:20.940 We only used them if we brought somebody into the office that needed one.
00:25:24.300 So I was like, hey, man, stick your hands out.
00:25:25.600 And then he looked at me. 1.00
00:25:27.120 He's like, oh, shit. 1.00
00:25:28.120 I'm like, yeah. 1.00
00:25:29.400 And I was like, are they too tight?
00:25:30.540 And he goes, no.
00:25:31.320 I'm like, oh.
00:25:31.820 And I zipped him a little bit more, because I didn't want him. 1.00
00:25:34.160 You know, I was like, fuck him. 1.00
00:25:35.060 Oh, that's crazy when you're asking if they're too tight. 1.00
00:25:37.780 It's obvious that, yeah.
00:25:39.440 Like, this is.
00:25:40.600 But he, you know, he's a little tighter, won't you?
00:25:42.760 You know, he felt some shame that day.
00:25:44.920 And I was just like, the clone bandit was mine.
00:25:47.400 We never saw him again, you know?
00:25:49.040 And do you then turn him over to the police?
00:25:50.700 What's that like?
00:25:52.240 That's the lame part.
00:25:54.200 You got to call them.
00:25:55.640 And it's like, they're not rushing to come handle this, you know? 0.99
00:25:58.680 So nine times out of 10, you're sitting there with Bobby, just shooting shit for like two hours. 0.99
00:26:03.460 You know, like, so, man, why do you steal? 0.98
00:26:05.580 And then by the time you've already, like, counseled him, you want to let him go.
00:26:11.000 I actually wanted to let him go.
00:26:12.700 But it was already in, like, we were already in motion. 0.99
00:26:15.160 When I was like, bro, you fucked up, you know? 1.00
00:26:16.740 Like, I already had to fuck you up. 1.00
00:26:18.200 And now the cops are coming. 1.00
00:26:19.920 The first 10 minutes, it was like, they're coming to get you, man. 1.00
00:26:22.380 You're so fucked. 1.00
00:26:23.960 You know, in 20 minutes, it was like, are you thirsty, man? 1.00
00:26:26.640 Like, you know?
00:26:27.540 So about, literally, cops took about two hours to get there.
00:26:30.420 And by the time they got there, they're like, all right, so what's going on?
00:26:33.660 It's like, oh, this guy was stealing, blah, blah, blah.
00:26:35.280 He's the clone bandit.
00:26:36.540 You know, we got, he's like, okay, so come with us.
00:26:39.460 And then that was it.
00:26:40.280 It was like, there was no fireworks at the end of this show, you know?
00:26:43.660 It was pretty, that's why I said it's pretty lame when you call them to come take them away. 0.94
00:26:47.660 Because it's like, you want them to drag them out and beat the shit out of them, too, you know? 0.96
00:26:52.400 Just give them a little extra. 1.00
00:26:53.720 Fuck them, you know? 1.00
00:26:54.500 Fuck yeah. 1.00
00:26:54.840 Fuck them. 1.00
00:26:55.780 Fuck yeah, dude. 1.00
00:26:56.980 You got it. 1.00
00:26:57.480 Somebody has to get beaten.
00:26:58.540 There's something about game time.
00:27:03.960 If you're going to a concert, like I did recently, I went to see the Grateful Dead and Company at the Sphere.
00:27:09.940 If you're going to see a sporting event or an entertainment type of deal,
00:27:16.620 well, game time makes getting tickets for concerts and events faster and easier,
00:27:21.880 even if you don't buy tickets right away.
00:27:23.740 Prices on the Game Time app actually go down the closer it gets to show start time.
00:27:30.340 With killer last-minute deals, all-in prices, views from your seat, and their lowest price guarantee,
00:27:37.980 Game Time takes the guesswork out of buying concert tickets.
00:27:42.020 Game Time also offers seat views, so you can get a panoramic view from your seat in the app before you buy.
00:27:49.260 As well, the lowest price guarantee, that's right, Game Time's offering it,
00:27:55.440 or Game Time will credit you 110% of the difference.
00:28:00.260 As well, with Game Time, your purchase is covered with the most flexible customer service policy in the ticketing industry.
00:28:07.060 Take the guesswork out of buying concert tickets with Game Time.
00:28:11.080 Download the Game Time app, create an account, and use code WEEKEND for $20 off your first purchase.
00:28:19.560 Terms apply.
00:28:20.780 Again, create an account and redeem code WEEKEND for $20 off.
00:28:28.880 Download Game Time today.
00:28:30.320 Last-minute tickets.
00:28:31.480 Lowest price.
00:28:32.540 Guaranteed.
00:28:33.260 You know, being a human adult has some pros and cons.
00:28:38.380 You know, some of the pros, you can eat ice cream for dinner, and you can take a walk whenever you want.
00:28:43.860 Those are nice things.
00:28:45.920 But it's not all fun.
00:28:48.660 You also have to do your taxes and figure out what's for dinner every frickin' night.
00:28:52.580 Come on.
00:28:53.980 And you have to make doctor's appointments.
00:28:55.860 But for that one, there's ZocDoc.
00:29:00.160 ZocDoc, the healthcare app that makes adulting that much easier.
00:29:05.780 ZocDoc is a free app and website where you can search and compare high-quality in-network doctors,
00:29:12.900 choose the right one for your needs, and click to instantly book an appointment.
00:29:17.840 We're talking about in-network appointments with more than 100,000 healthcare providers
00:29:22.540 across every specialty, from mental health to dental health, eye care to skin care, and so much more.
00:29:30.600 Plus, ZocDoc appointments happen fast, typically within just 24 to 72 hours of booking.
00:29:36.420 You can even score some same-day appointments.
00:29:40.300 So, I recommend ZocDoc.
00:29:43.220 The other ways it's so painful, look in here and this website, your search, your click.
00:29:47.820 I don't do that anymore.
00:29:49.340 I ZocDoc.
00:29:50.840 And so should you.
00:29:51.780 So, stop putting off those doctor's appointments and go to ZocDoc, Z-O-C-D-O-C.com slash Theo
00:29:59.540 to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today.
00:30:03.840 That's Z-O-C-D-O-C.com slash T-H-E-O, ZocDoc.com slash Theo.
00:30:11.480 And then what about, like, what is y'all's relationship with the cops like, you know? 0.99
00:30:17.020 They didn't like us too much just because we were a waste of their time, you know, calling them for stupid shit, stealing and all that. 0.98
00:30:25.140 Because if you catch somebody, like, back then, if you caught somebody, you had to hold them. 0.99
00:30:29.820 You know, it's different now.
00:30:30.680 You don't even call the cops nowadays. 0.98
00:30:31.900 I don't even know what the fuck they're doing now. 0.95
00:30:33.180 But they had that entitlement because we are cops. 1.00
00:30:38.240 Oh, they show up like you're big dogs?
00:30:39.820 Oh, yeah. 0.71
00:30:40.460 Do they look at you?
00:30:41.200 Yeah.
00:30:41.460 What's you guys' relationship like?
00:30:42.900 Is it simpatico or no?
00:30:45.680 No, not.
00:30:46.460 It was just like those movies.
00:30:47.600 What does simpatico mean?
00:30:48.420 Do you know?
00:30:48.920 No, actually, I don't.
00:30:49.920 Yeah.
00:30:50.120 Look it up real quick.
00:30:50.740 Do you mind?
00:30:51.680 Kind of threw me off on that one.
00:30:52.820 Sorry.
00:30:53.400 No, you're good.
00:30:54.240 I thought it was Spanish.
00:30:55.740 Likeable and easy to get along with.
00:30:56.840 Okay.
00:30:58.520 No, we didn't definitely get along.
00:30:59.960 It was like out of those movies, you know, when like the detectives are all sitting.
00:31:03.800 So like the regular cops are there.
00:31:06.000 So say we're the regular cops.
00:31:07.240 We got it going on.
00:31:08.340 It's our area.
00:31:09.040 And then the FBI walks in.
00:31:10.800 They're like, all right, guys, we're taking over. 0.99
00:31:13.700 Go handle the perimeter type shit. 0.99
00:31:15.380 And that was our relationship with them. 0.98
00:31:16.980 There was always like it wasn't too much like, oh, man, thanks a lot, guys, for doing your job. 0.98
00:31:22.520 And, you know, defending our country at the mall and shit. 0.99
00:31:25.420 It was just more like, fuck what, man? 1.00
00:31:27.900 Like I was not doing anything. 1.00
00:31:29.660 Now I'm doing something at the mall.
00:31:31.040 Yeah. 1.00
00:31:31.360 You know, it's like and I actually had a cop tell me one time this motherfucker. 1.00
00:31:35.380 I forget his name. 0.99
00:31:37.860 I had to give him a whole description of what was going on.
00:31:40.680 And the problem was, is we didn't even have the guy. 0.99
00:31:43.440 We had to just give a description of the guy who stole and the things he did to the car because he poured like some bleach on a car or some dumb shit. 0.93
00:31:50.760 But so we're giving him all this description and he literally turns at me and goes, yeah, if I wanted to be a mall cop, I would have been a mall cop and walked away. 1.00
00:31:59.360 I was like, fuck, man. 0.99
00:32:01.480 Like what? 1.00
00:32:01.980 And what was he having issues?
00:32:02.900 You guys were having issues with communication? 0.99
00:32:04.580 No, he just the list of shit that I was giving him and just got too long for him. 0.97
00:32:08.700 He was like, OK, so, yeah, I get it. 0.99
00:32:10.500 I get it.
00:32:10.800 So what was he wearing?
00:32:11.580 You know, and I was like, I told you that in the beginning.
00:32:13.460 You know, I was like, you could have cut that conversation off when you found out he was five, too.
00:32:17.040 You know, it's like, but I some of it has got to be crazy.
00:32:21.240 Like you got you, you know, you have a Chinese guy or whatever pinned up against the wall for like, you know, getting a pair of loafers or whatever.
00:32:28.760 And then the cop has to come. 0.98
00:32:30.060 He's like, what the fuck are we doing down here? 0.99
00:32:32.640 Yeah. 0.99
00:32:33.240 Trust me.
00:32:33.840 We were not on their radar of crime.
00:32:36.700 You know, I feel they wouldn't keep they wouldn't clue you guys in like what was going on in the community and stuff.
00:32:42.100 No, we didn't get no updates or nothing like that.
00:32:45.100 It was like, no, they were like, there's like we would know if there's a rapist in the area or anything or anything like that. 1.00
00:32:50.240 No, fuck. 0.98
00:32:50.880 They didn't care about us, you know, and you would think they would tell you if there was a rapist somewhere, because, I mean, first of all, one of the few places that everybody kind of goes sometimes is the mall. 1.00
00:33:01.660 Right.
00:33:02.260 Pretty much. 0.99
00:33:02.740 If you're a rapist, you still go to the mall. 0.99
00:33:05.580 You have to. 0.99
00:33:06.140 You have to buy clothes. 1.00
00:33:07.240 Well, you got you just everybody goes, you know, so it's like that's the kind of shit to me. 0.99
00:33:11.500 It's like you think you give those guys at least just information because they're just standing around all day. 0.99
00:33:17.460 A lot of cops will use our parking lots for the hangout. 1.00
00:33:20.060 You ever seen where like two cop cars like face each other?
00:33:22.300 Yeah.
00:33:22.840 That was like and you can't go near them.
00:33:24.740 You can't go, hey, Jim, what's going on? 1.00
00:33:26.380 Like, fuck away from us. 1.00
00:33:27.580 Really? 1.00
00:33:27.920 Yeah.
00:33:28.620 It was weird.
00:33:29.680 Like, they had this like whole bubble around them because they would always park in our parking lots.
00:33:33.160 Yeah. 0.99
00:33:33.420 Every mall I've ever worked at, there's always a pair of cops that will do the whole face in each other like, you know, shit. 1.00
00:33:40.320 Yeah. 0.99
00:33:40.880 Two cops touching fronts or whatever.
00:33:43.640 Tip the tip. 0.99
00:33:43.860 I love it. 0.99
00:33:44.340 You know, you just fuck yeah, guys, you know, but they didn't want us coming near them. 0.99
00:33:49.000 We're never allowed to talk to them or anything. 1.00
00:33:51.040 So we would just let them be in their little bubble.
00:33:53.820 What type of overall crime goes down at the mall?
00:33:56.900 Like, what type of crime are we talking about?
00:34:00.780 A lot of stealing.
00:34:02.100 Really?
00:34:02.580 A lot of stealing, of course.
00:34:03.980 And do you see people steal sometimes?
00:34:05.600 Like, you'll see them.
00:34:06.340 Can you tell after a while anybody could be a thief?
00:34:10.220 Anybody can be a thief.
00:34:11.880 Anybody. 1.00
00:34:12.480 Man, I've seen moms, you know, stick shit in like kids' backpacks, you know, on camera. 1.00
00:34:20.080 I'm like, what the fuck is going on here, you know? 1.00
00:34:23.820 Anybody can be a thief. 1.00
00:34:25.200 I've seen a group of sweet old Mexican ladies, you know, like, oh, and they're like, they're 1.00
00:34:30.760 inviting you over for dinner and shit and this and that and the other. 1.00
00:34:33.700 And you turn around, they're stealing the fucking car. 0.99
00:34:35.880 You're like, whoa, you know, like, like anybody can steal from the mall. 1.00
00:34:41.520 Damn. 0.99
00:34:44.240 Like vandalism. 0.99
00:34:46.360 That's not, that's not really like a everyday crime.
00:34:49.520 It's more of a crime when someone like gets thrown out of a store and you want to like 0.97
00:34:52.880 break their door, kick their windows in and shit. 0.98
00:34:55.380 Thinking you did something to a corporate company who's got millions of dollars. 1.00
00:34:58.640 Like, well, I broke your $100 window.
00:35:00.180 It's like, all right, cool.
00:35:00.940 We're just going to replace that.
00:35:02.560 You know, those are the crimes that we get at the mall sometimes.
00:35:07.880 Fights.
00:35:08.620 Fights are good. 0.98
00:35:09.720 Really?
00:35:10.080 Yeah.
00:35:10.300 Mall fights are good.
00:35:11.540 Do people go to the mall to fight?
00:35:13.100 You mean meeting at the mall to fight?
00:35:14.560 Or you're saying just things happen at the mall and a fight happens?
00:35:17.660 Like gang versus gang, you know, two to feet.
00:35:20.120 Oh, yeah.
00:35:20.520 Where at?
00:35:21.020 Where was this at?
00:35:22.000 Down in San Diego.
00:35:22.920 In San Diego.
00:35:23.540 Yeah, yeah.
00:35:24.720 Back in the day, like malls were always like where everyone just conjured up, you know,
00:35:30.380 all the gangs, all the crews, everyone like after school or the ditch parties would go
00:35:34.420 there.
00:35:35.500 And some groups just didn't get along, you know.
00:35:38.740 And next thing you know, you got this big fun riot brawl in the middle.
00:35:42.100 And back then, you were allowed to get in it and fight with them and throw them down and
00:35:45.800 stuff.
00:35:46.180 And those were fun.
00:35:48.020 Really?
00:35:48.720 Yeah.
00:35:49.660 Yeah, here's a mall.
00:35:51.240 These are kids.
00:35:53.440 Yeah, there's a lot of kids off of school.
00:35:57.720 These kids nowadays, man, they're ruthless.
00:35:59.900 I had it. 0.99
00:36:00.240 They're sick.
00:36:00.740 I was working at a high-end department store and this kid literally walked right up to 0.97
00:36:05.940 me.
00:36:06.160 He goes, do you work for the store or the mall?
00:36:10.000 And I was like, why?
00:36:12.380 And I could already tell he's about to steal all these Gucci belts.
00:36:14.940 I'm like, why?
00:36:16.100 He goes, because if you work for the store, you can't touch me.
00:36:19.760 And if you work for the mall, you can't chase me. 1.00
00:36:22.680 And I was like, fuck, bro. 1.00
00:36:24.160 Like, it's all you then, you know. 1.00
00:36:26.940 Fucker stole belts right in front of me. 1.00
00:36:28.320 I was like, get out of here, man. 1.00
00:36:29.760 Like, because you can't do anything.
00:36:31.980 Does it piss you off?
00:36:33.860 Eh, a little bit.
00:36:35.840 Just.
00:36:36.660 It feels disrespectful.
00:36:38.060 Yeah.
00:36:38.700 Like, right in your face.
00:36:39.820 And you're like. 1.00
00:36:40.500 That's trash. 1.00
00:36:41.380 It's like, fuck you, little fucker. 1.00
00:36:43.120 That's trash. 1.00
00:36:43.580 Just because you can't afford the belt, you know. 0.99
00:36:45.960 You don't come here and steal it.
00:36:47.040 It's just kind of.
00:36:47.620 And also, then if you're stealing something that's just a good.
00:36:51.180 And it's not like a.
00:36:52.260 It's a want, right?
00:36:53.320 It's not a need or something or a snack or something like that.
00:36:56.740 Milk, bread or something.
00:36:58.080 Um, oysters like that.
00:36:59.780 Then you're not.
00:37:00.700 You're.
00:37:02.080 It's your own choice at that point, you know.
00:37:04.080 Pretty much.
00:37:04.440 It's not you, like, needing to survive, you know.
00:37:07.060 It's just. 0.99
00:37:07.440 You don't need a Gucci belt to fucking pay, you know. 0.99
00:37:09.960 Yeah. 1.00
00:37:10.140 You can't eat a Gucci belt, man.
00:37:12.420 Who's at the mall anymore?
00:37:13.880 And how has that changed over time?
00:37:15.780 Oh, man.
00:37:16.340 So, from the early 2000s till now, it's definitely a huge change.
00:37:22.420 Everyone back then went to the mall, no matter what.
00:37:25.140 Oh, yeah.
00:37:25.840 I mean, you had the grandma.
00:37:27.000 Like, in the morning, in the beginning of the morning, if you find the right mall.
00:37:31.580 Like, I worked in a mall in Minnesota.
00:37:32.820 And that mall had, like, little mile markers through it. 0.99
00:37:36.660 And you get the whole old person group coming out and do their power walking and shit. 0.99
00:37:40.440 Oh, yeah. 0.98
00:37:41.040 I love that.
00:37:42.020 And so, those are the days where you would see that transition about 9, 10 a.m.
00:37:46.460 where all the old people leave. 1.00
00:37:48.420 And then you get the adults coming in, you know, like, get the sales and shit. 0.97
00:37:52.100 And then once noon hit, if it's a weekend, then the kids start piling in. 1.00
00:37:55.700 It's fucking, you know. 0.97
00:37:56.640 The mall was functional back then. 1.00
00:37:58.580 Yeah. 0.99
00:37:58.840 It was, like, people watching was fun fucking back then. 0.98
00:38:01.680 You know, like, it was fun to watch. 0.97
00:38:03.100 Now, I feel like nobody cool goes to the mall.
00:38:06.900 Like, and it's not like, I'm not saying it like that.
00:38:09.420 It's just like, you go to the mall now for, like, direct service.
00:38:13.100 You're like, all right, I'm going to here to get this, and I'm leaving.
00:38:15.740 A lot of people don't hang out at the mall no more.
00:38:18.600 It's not like, let's go to fucking Cinnabon and grab us some Wetzel's Pretzels. 0.89
00:38:22.900 You know, shout out to Wetzel's Pretzels, by the way. 0.95
00:38:24.560 By the way, if you notice, Wetzel's Pretzels you can only find in a mall, I swear.
00:38:28.160 Really?
00:38:28.640 Yeah.
00:38:29.060 Think about it.
00:38:31.120 Yeah.
00:38:31.460 Yeah.
00:38:32.080 That's cool.
00:38:32.780 Wow.
00:38:33.280 Mall food.
00:38:34.280 Yeah, mall food is definitely something.
00:38:36.600 Yeah, dude, the mall was such a place.
00:38:38.580 I mean, we would sleep overnight outside of there.
00:38:42.440 Hell, yeah.
00:38:43.000 We would, yeah, you're friends, you'd go.
00:38:47.320 I remember during summer camp, one of our field trips would be to the mall.
00:38:50.820 We'd all go to the mall.
00:38:52.680 People would wish in the fountains that we're at the mall, you know? 1.00
00:38:55.140 Oh, fuck. 1.00
00:38:56.100 They'd have, yeah, what else would we do there? 1.00
00:38:59.580 You'd just go on to see the different stores, walking down the mall.
00:39:02.240 You'd stop at that candy store that had all the different candies.
00:39:04.700 You'd go in the Bed Bath & Beyond or the Candle store and do that.
00:39:08.860 Or the Disney store.
00:39:10.260 The Disney.
00:39:10.840 Disney store, dog. 1.00
00:39:11.940 The fucking Disney store. 1.00
00:39:13.320 That shit was fucking clutch. 1.00
00:39:14.780 Mexicans love that store, too, eh? 1.00
00:39:16.240 Fuck yeah. 1.00
00:39:16.920 Why, bro? 1.00
00:39:17.620 Fuck yeah. 1.00
00:39:19.120 Why, though? 1.00
00:39:19.940 Really?
00:39:20.580 I liked it, bro.
00:39:21.940 It's not racist if it's true, and I stick by this.
00:39:24.280 If you can't afford to go to Disneyland, then the Disney store was the next best thing. 0.99
00:39:28.600 They had little fucking things. 0.99
00:39:29.940 I love the Disney store, man. 1.00
00:39:32.120 The Disney store was so good, bro.
00:39:33.880 The original Disney store.
00:39:36.280 They still have them, but the OG Disney stores, when they were like, hi, welcome in, and Tinkerbell 0.98
00:39:42.240 would come flying by, and you're like, fuck it, I'm here. 0.98
00:39:44.740 Dude, you're right, bro. 1.00
00:39:46.520 There was nothing like the Disney store.
00:39:48.180 We used to get, they used to have the shirts with the characters coming out of the pocket.
00:39:53.660 Goofy would hang off.
00:39:54.740 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:39:55.460 That was a big thing, man.
00:39:57.040 I remember I'd get my siblings Christmas gifts and stuff from there.
00:40:00.760 A lot of times nightgowns or something.
00:40:02.320 You could get your sister, like, something she wanted, you know.
00:40:05.700 Oh, dude, yeah.
00:40:06.740 Yeah. 0.99
00:40:07.240 Hey, one time, hey, no bullshit. 0.95
00:40:08.600 One time, me and my friend, Young Dave, shout out Young Dave, love you. 0.99
00:40:12.700 YKD, Young King Dave, not that guy that died from smoking weed, huh?
00:40:15.400 No, no, no.
00:40:16.180 You know what I'm talking about?
00:40:16.860 Yeah, I heard about that.
00:40:17.780 Young King Dave, bring him up.
00:40:19.620 Pull up Young King Dave, bro.
00:40:21.160 R.I.P., dude.
00:40:23.020 Smoking big doinks. 0.99
00:40:24.900 He died from smoking weed, huh?
00:40:26.380 Yeah, yeah.
00:40:26.980 Yeah, he was, like, smoking weed.
00:40:28.000 He smoked a joint backwards or something, and he had asbestos or whatever, and it killed him.
00:40:31.680 What?
00:40:32.080 Dave James, Young King Dave Nixon, passed away at 19.
00:40:38.120 Where was he always smoking out?
00:40:42.180 This is years ago.
00:40:43.960 His manager, Chris Clemenza.
00:40:46.260 I used to message with him for a while, bro.
00:40:48.060 I was a big fan of him.
00:40:49.540 Oh, wow.
00:40:50.180 Smoking big doinks out in where, did he say? 0.71
00:40:52.220 Hell, yeah.
00:40:52.660 Play the audio? 0.86
00:40:55.740 Out here in Amish, smoking big doinks in Amish. 1.00
00:41:00.100 Fuck, yeah. 1.00
00:41:04.360 Big old doinks. 1.00
00:41:05.720 He'd be smoking big doinks out there in Amish, dude, and he'd get, um... 1.00
00:41:09.920 Gang. 0.66
00:41:10.860 And he died. 1.00
00:41:12.040 Damn. 1.00
00:41:12.400 He had, uh... 1.00
00:41:13.760 He smoked.
00:41:14.440 He just smoked all the time, I think, and I want to say he died.
00:41:17.140 I want to get this right.
00:41:19.600 What did he die of?
00:41:20.860 Do you know?
00:41:21.100 Play that one more.
00:41:22.180 Play one more where he was smoking a joint.
00:41:24.080 We used to have guys like that work security with us.
00:41:26.120 Really?
00:41:26.500 Oh, yeah.
00:41:26.820 They were the best.
00:41:28.320 They always bring the weave. 1.00
00:41:30.800 It's fucking nice out. 0.98
00:41:32.220 Who's trying to chill? 0.98
00:41:33.080 Smoke something loud, feel me? 1.00
00:41:34.460 Fuck, yeah. 1.00
00:41:34.940 I got loud. 1.00
00:41:38.720 Hit my line.
00:41:39.700 Either DM me or hit my line, bro.
00:41:43.280 I got loud.
00:41:44.020 I'm trying to smoke.
00:41:45.840 Just smoke it, then.
00:41:48.060 You know?
00:41:48.740 But, yeah, that was a beautiful time.
00:41:50.240 Oh, a collapsed lung is what got him.
00:41:52.060 God.
00:41:54.860 Complications from a collapsed lung.
00:41:57.340 He did have loud, dude. 1.00
00:41:58.860 He blew his fucking... 1.00
00:42:00.700 Yeah, but that also comes from all those vapes that kids smoke nowadays. 1.00
00:42:03.780 And adults smoke them, too, like me and other people.
00:42:06.300 You smoke the vape?
00:42:06.920 Like, let's not say that, but yeah, I do.
00:42:09.960 I've been on and off it.
00:42:11.240 You know, you try your best.
00:42:12.380 But, yeah, shout out YKD, bro.
00:42:14.860 I just...
00:42:15.360 Yeah, he was like one of the first dudes to kind of go viral.
00:42:18.580 And he was always smoking big doinks out there.
00:42:21.860 And that's what killed him. 0.99
00:42:23.500 He would literally drive all over just meeting people to smoke weed and shit. 0.99
00:42:27.280 What a great guy. 0.99
00:42:28.380 He got too big to get in his car or whatever.
00:42:31.060 He was always eating.
00:42:31.940 There he is at a mall.
00:42:33.880 Hell, yeah.
00:42:34.380 What'd he say?
00:42:35.620 Hey, yo. 0.99
00:42:36.460 Oh, KG, where the bitches at, bro? 1.00
00:42:42.920 Oh, yeah. 1.00
00:42:43.960 He almost died right there.
00:42:45.240 They got Nathan's in a mall? 1.00
00:42:46.600 That's a great fucking mall. 0.99
00:42:49.440 So, yeah, just seeing something like that is great, man. 0.99
00:42:52.160 But go back to the Disney story.
00:42:53.760 Yeah, let's go back.
00:42:54.560 Oh, dude, yeah.
00:42:55.200 Start from the beginning of that, man.
00:42:56.640 Oh.
00:42:57.280 Dude, when you walk in.
00:42:59.060 Yes.
00:43:00.660 And it had that smell.
00:43:01.680 It had that good Disney smell.
00:43:05.380 Well, it was very organized.
00:43:07.080 Things were kind of pricey in there a little bit.
00:43:08.940 So, it had, like, some esteem.
00:43:11.420 You could get something small, like a keychain.
00:43:13.700 But you could get something like ice skates or something, you know.
00:43:16.700 Oh, yeah.
00:43:17.060 A princess dress.
00:43:17.900 The whole nine. 1.00
00:43:18.420 All that shit. 1.00
00:43:19.000 If you had a child or a little daughter or somebody, you could take them in there. 1.00
00:43:22.800 That was a pretty high-end store, I felt like, for the mall as far as children's paraphernalia.
00:43:31.900 Hey, that, I'll never forget that bundle of plush. 0.98
00:43:35.020 There was always, like, a big area of, like, all the stuffed animals and shit. 0.95
00:43:38.700 Oh, man, I used to just kind of give it a hug, you know? 0.98
00:43:40.560 Yeah.
00:43:41.140 You have to.
00:43:41.740 They had that nice stuff.
00:43:42.940 Now, Disney showed up with a quality stuffed animal.
00:43:45.960 I think Applause was the company that made a lot of their stuff.
00:43:50.020 The parent company or whatever that made the stuffed animals.
00:43:53.560 But, yeah, dude, when the Disney store came.
00:43:56.480 Me and my friend got kicked out of a Disney store.
00:43:58.800 Inside, I don't know.
00:43:59.580 You remember the little theater that was inside for kids to kind of, like, crawl in?
00:44:03.120 And there was, like, they would show old Disney movies.
00:44:05.000 Inside there?
00:44:05.700 Yeah.
00:44:06.040 Oh, it was for children.
00:44:06.760 I didn't go in there.
00:44:07.780 Yeah, well, I slid in there one time to roll a blunt real quick and hurried up, got that done. 0.99
00:44:13.380 But then I got stuck watching the fucking cartoons. 0.99
00:44:15.500 And the lady was like, hey, keep it moving, guys. 1.00
00:44:18.580 Yeah, dude.
00:44:19.360 Sorry, we're just, like, Mickey Mouse, man. 0.99
00:44:21.160 I mean, mall type shit, homie. 1.00
00:44:23.840 That's what it is, dude. 1.00
00:44:26.560 Yeah, what other stores?
00:44:27.860 Now, what about Build-A-Bear?
00:44:29.280 Were you there when that came out?
00:44:30.560 Oh, yeah, yeah.
00:44:31.460 And what kind of clientele would you see over there, brother?
00:44:35.220 Mostly the white folk.
00:44:36.520 Was it really?
00:44:37.000 Yeah.
00:44:37.540 Build-A-Bear's a white thing?
00:44:38.360 Yeah, yeah.
00:44:39.680 I would say so, a little bit.
00:44:41.620 You know, it's an experience.
00:44:42.800 It's fun.
00:44:43.280 You know what I mean?
00:44:45.720 Here's a store for you.
00:44:47.280 Sharper Image. 1.00
00:44:48.920 That was the fucking jam right there. 0.99
00:44:51.400 Sharper Image was, like, by far. 0.99
00:44:54.360 I think Sharper Image was the reason I got a mall job, actually.
00:44:57.640 Wow. 1.00
00:44:58.060 No shit. 1.00
00:44:58.900 Oh, yeah. 0.99
00:44:59.440 It was where the future.
00:45:00.500 It's where Elon Musk was born. 1.00
00:45:02.040 Fuck yeah, bro. 1.00
00:45:02.680 Sharper Image was it. 1.00
00:45:03.460 Dude, wasn't he born in a Sharper Image? 1.00
00:45:05.980 This was our Elon Musk.
00:45:07.680 Yes.
00:45:08.100 Right. 1.00
00:45:08.600 Sharper fucking image, dude. 0.99
00:45:10.200 You would find a hairdryer that could sort coins and- 1.00
00:45:14.780 Massage your feet.
00:45:15.540 Yeah, and massage your feet, tell you you're blood tight, and tell you if your mom was being
00:45:19.980 a B-I-T-C-H or not. 0.98
00:45:21.900 And then they would have, like, a remote-controlled car that you could never fucking afford. 0.98
00:45:25.220 Always. 0.71
00:45:25.940 Yeah.
00:45:27.240 And it was, like, the best one.
00:45:28.840 I don't even know what that is, but I wanted it.
00:45:31.020 Oh, they had-
00:45:31.980 Dude, because everything in there, none of-
00:45:34.120 It was, like, all-
00:45:35.220 None of it made any- 0.98
00:45:36.520 Like, it was a ridiculous- 0.95
00:45:37.640 They had, like, a wallet that could grate cheese. 0.97
00:45:40.120 They had-
00:45:41.160 Like, what?
00:45:42.240 You know, they had, like, those things you'd put your-
00:45:44.820 Women right there. 1.00
00:45:46.780 What is that?
00:45:48.060 A little foot spa?
00:45:48.940 Foot spa.
00:45:49.820 At home foot spa.
00:45:50.840 Those things that everybody bought and never used.
00:45:53.320 Never.
00:45:54.000 Never.
00:45:54.280 Never.
00:45:54.720 Ever.
00:45:55.520 But Sharper Image was it, dude.
00:45:57.400 They'd have, like, weird little, like, what is this?
00:46:00.360 Premium Innovative Defrosting Tray.
00:46:02.360 You could just set your meat out on a tray, and it would defrost.
00:46:05.000 That's called a counter. 1.00
00:46:07.780 But they sold that bitch fucking 100 bucks. 1.00
00:46:12.280 For real. 1.00
00:46:12.600 Sharper Image Premium Innovative Defrosting Tray, dude.
00:46:17.380 What else did they have?
00:46:18.500 Sharper Image Warming Foot Massage. 0.99
00:46:20.620 Fucking, my mom had those right there. 1.00
00:46:22.840 Really? 1.00
00:46:23.260 Did she use them?
00:46:24.000 Yeah, they smelled after a while.
00:46:25.580 Oh, yeah, definitely, dude. 1.00
00:46:26.880 They fucking rank. 1.00
00:46:28.100 Ugh. 1.00
00:46:28.460 You have a Sharper, oh, oh, that was it, too. 0.87
00:46:31.580 The hanger dryer or whatever it was, there was a hanger for your clothes that would, like, 0.99
00:46:36.100 blow out air and shit. 0.99
00:46:37.360 Really? 0.99
00:46:37.780 Yeah. 1.00
00:46:38.300 Yeah, a lot of it was ridiculous shit. 0.99
00:46:39.680 This right here is a Sharper Image Closet Ionic Air Purifier. 0.99
00:46:43.000 Yeah, that's what I need.
00:46:44.280 Who, so between two of your shirts, you can put an air purifier? 0.99
00:46:48.420 That is the dumbest thing I've ever seen, dude. 0.96
00:46:50.920 Sharper Image seems like, I have this invention. 0.99
00:46:53.740 Yeah, it's not going to work out, but we have this store for you.
00:46:56.200 Yeah, yeah, everything.
00:46:58.060 Now, the chairs were the big thing, though.
00:47:00.100 You'd go in.
00:47:01.000 That's the reason you went.
00:47:02.060 And you'd look at the lady, and she would give you a look as to whether or not, it was
00:47:06.140 just a, it wasn't a yes or no, it was just, you could tell if you were allowed to go get
00:47:09.700 in that chair or not.
00:47:10.280 Yeah.
00:47:11.360 You could tell.
00:47:12.400 It was either they were going to help you out, or they just gave you the look.
00:47:15.060 Yeah.
00:47:16.140 You know?
00:47:16.680 We're your parents.
00:47:18.040 Yeah, they'd say something like that.
00:47:19.660 Kind of passive-aggressive, but direct.
00:47:22.300 Yeah.
00:47:23.240 Who are you here with?
00:47:25.080 Myself and this chair.
00:47:26.880 What stores do different ethnicities frequent at the mall?
00:47:29.860 Where do the, where do mi gente go?
00:47:31.820 Where do the Mexicanos go? 1.00
00:47:33.040 C's candy.
00:47:34.200 Really?
00:47:34.900 Yeah.
00:47:35.900 Por qué?
00:47:36.880 Free candy.
00:47:37.980 Free samples.
00:47:38.900 Oh, wow. 1.00
00:47:39.620 You walk in, they give you a fucking treat. 1.00
00:47:41.420 All right, welcome to C's. 1.00
00:47:43.180 Butterscotch, you're like, fuck yeah. 1.00
00:47:45.080 C's candy was the lick, man. 1.00
00:47:46.940 C's candy had everyone there.
00:47:48.540 Yeah.
00:47:49.440 C's candy, huh?
00:47:50.580 Mm-hmm.
00:47:51.320 Hey, C's. 0.98
00:47:53.160 You got to understand, though, C's candy was just a reason for us to go get free candy.
00:47:56.840 And Mexicans love sugar, yeah? 1.00
00:47:58.220 Fuck yeah. 1.00
00:47:59.040 Wow. 1.00
00:48:00.120 Good gifts, too.
00:48:01.000 I used to live down in Mexico.
00:48:01.960 I used to get boxes of candy all the time.
00:48:03.400 I'm like, wait, are you saying something?
00:48:05.260 No, no, no.
00:48:05.720 It's good. 1.00
00:48:06.060 I'm like, fuck yeah. 0.99
00:48:07.020 Let's do this. 0.99
00:48:07.460 Yeah, the peanut brittle there is pretty nice.
00:48:09.200 I will say that.
00:48:09.960 They made a beautiful brittle for a while.
00:48:11.620 I don't even know if C's candy is still open or not.
00:48:13.320 Oh, they are.
00:48:13.920 They are?
00:48:14.280 Oh, yeah.
00:48:15.380 Oh, yeah.
00:48:15.860 Giving out them free samples daily.
00:48:17.900 Where else do the Mexicanos go? 1.00
00:48:19.680 Ooh.
00:48:22.300 Back then, let's see.
00:48:24.780 I forget the name of the store.
00:48:26.080 Oh, remember KB Toy Store?
00:48:27.920 Yeah.
00:48:28.320 Yeah.
00:48:28.620 They didn't go to Toys R Us.
00:48:29.580 They went to KB Toy Store because it was cheaper.
00:48:31.700 Mm, respect.
00:48:32.880 Yeah.
00:48:33.420 Respect.
00:48:33.700 I mean, I went there.
00:48:35.060 I love KB Toys.
00:48:36.040 Yeah, I remember seeing it.
00:48:37.940 I don't know where we would.
00:48:39.460 I think we need a lot of time to get our toys over at Walmart, I think.
00:48:42.540 But what about the brothers and sisters?
00:48:44.480 Where do they pull up at? 0.99
00:48:45.780 Oh, shit. 1.00
00:48:47.540 Bed, Bath & Beyond. 1.00
00:48:49.000 No.
00:48:49.620 Lotions.
00:48:50.620 Oh, for sure.
00:48:52.180 Smell goods and lotions.
00:48:53.060 Lotions for show-tions, bro.
00:48:54.800 Yes. 1.00
00:48:55.540 Damn. 1.00
00:48:56.140 Yep. 1.00
00:48:57.520 You could.
00:48:58.140 Oh, yeah.
00:48:59.140 There was tons of lotion.
00:49:01.400 God, they had all kinds in there, too.
00:49:03.780 All kinds.
00:49:04.240 Dude, remember when, okay, so Black people went to Bed, Bath & Beyond. 1.00
00:49:08.820 Do you remember at Bed, Bath & Beyond, bro, when they came?
00:49:11.740 There was, was it Bed, Bath & Beyond?
00:49:14.380 I think it was.
00:49:15.580 Maybe it was at Sephora. 1.00
00:49:16.760 They had these lotions that started to smell like cookies and shit, dude. 1.00
00:49:20.260 Oh, yeah. 0.99
00:49:21.300 And they'd never had it before, and people were going crazy.
00:49:24.500 Mm-hmm. 0.99
00:49:25.060 Actually, you know what's funny is I remember that year, the summer, girls were walking by smelling like candy and shit. 0.99
00:49:31.240 And they're like, yeah, what is this? 0.97
00:49:33.360 This is nice, you know?
00:49:35.380 I think it was Bed, Bath & Beyond.
00:49:37.860 Yeah.
00:49:38.100 There you go.
00:49:38.620 Christmas cookies, man.
00:49:39.740 Body lotion. 1.00
00:49:40.520 God, that shit was nice. 1.00
00:49:42.480 Shit was nice, bro. 1.00
00:49:43.880 It was like the new cocoa butter. 1.00
00:49:45.600 Yeah.
00:49:46.100 Yeah.
00:49:46.420 That was Bath & Body Works.
00:49:48.140 Bath & Body Works.
00:49:49.240 Ah, Bath & Body Works.
00:49:50.160 Yeah, Bath & Body Works.
00:49:51.520 That's what it was.
00:49:52.380 That's what it was.
00:49:53.480 What about the Indians, Bangladeshi, Muslims, all that?
00:50:01.140 Where do they pull up at?
00:50:02.040 Any high-end stores?
00:50:03.620 Really?
00:50:04.160 Yeah.
00:50:04.700 They were the high-end people.
00:50:06.840 The dad's always walking with their hands behind their backs.
00:50:09.040 Mom's with their purses out.
00:50:10.200 Kids spending all their money.
00:50:11.420 Oh, yeah.
00:50:12.340 100%.
00:50:12.740 That's Asian. 0.99
00:50:13.760 Yeah.
00:50:15.760 What was up at Hot Topic, dude?
00:50:17.560 Ooh, Hot Topic, man.
00:50:19.100 Who hung out there?
00:50:19.820 That was a different corner.
00:50:20.900 Okay, so my Hot Topic era was the real emos, the real little grungy-ass kids that came 0.99
00:50:28.100 in there and shit. 0.98
00:50:28.860 You know, it's all like Sailor Moon now, but back then, it was- 1.00
00:50:32.440 Fucking kids eating rust and shit. 1.00
00:50:33.700 Fuck yeah, man. 1.00
00:50:34.540 Like, they would come in and make black makeup all over their face and shit, but- 1.00
00:50:38.740 The beautiful people. 1.00
00:50:40.100 The beautiful people.
00:50:40.900 The real Marilyn Manson kids.
00:50:43.360 You know what I mean?
00:50:44.180 The people that would eat their parents if you gave them a half hour. 1.00
00:50:46.880 Fuck yeah, and if they didn't buy you something from Hot Topic, it was real MFers. 1.00
00:50:50.220 Hot Topic was it, right? 1.00
00:50:51.800 Yeah, man.
00:50:52.280 I loved Hot Topic. 0.98
00:50:53.640 And what's funny is I grew up very urban, very hip-hop and all that shit, but Hot Topic 0.98
00:50:59.540 was definitely a vice of mine. 0.99
00:51:01.480 Yeah, it was, man.
00:51:02.820 It really was.
00:51:03.280 It was like when you went in there, you're like, what's going on?
00:51:05.160 Am I old enough to be in here?
00:51:07.060 Is this something just my older brother and sister can go to?
00:51:10.920 That was crazy.
00:51:12.020 And they also had music in there.
00:51:13.980 Yeah.
00:51:14.300 They had CDs. 0.98
00:51:15.120 This was back when they had CDs and shit. 0.97
00:51:16.920 And so that was different because people would be there. 0.96
00:51:19.500 If you're there picking out music and your brain's in like a music space, so you might
00:51:22.320 get a shirt that goes with a band, you know.
00:51:24.040 Yeah, because there was a bunch of ICP albums there.
00:51:27.260 Yeah.
00:51:29.200 That's who we used to hang out at Hot Topic, like the Juggalos of San Diego. 1.00
00:51:33.680 Yeah, I used to love it.
00:51:34.780 Hot Topic was like that, man.
00:51:36.180 Hell yeah.
00:51:36.560 Any other store really, what about Structure?
00:51:40.620 Remember that store or no?
00:51:41.540 Oh, look at you.
00:51:44.560 Blasting the pad, baby.
00:51:45.780 Wow.
00:51:46.300 Miller's Outpost even. 1.00
00:51:47.520 Dude, Miller's Outpost was like about Arizona and shit, homie. 1.00
00:51:50.600 Yep. 0.99
00:51:51.100 Miller's Outpost turned into what, Anchor Blue or something like that?
00:51:54.020 Really?
00:51:54.440 Yeah.
00:51:54.900 I didn't know. 0.99
00:51:55.580 Anchor Blue was like the first time you could buy like baggy pants and shit, you know, 1.00
00:51:58.640 because I was like, fuck yeah. 0.99
00:51:59.740 But Miller's Outpost was definitely one of the stores that all the trendy kids went to. 0.99
00:52:04.880 Like everyone popular went to Miller's Outpost, got Jenko's and shit like that. 0.78
00:52:08.600 Yeah, dude. 1.00
00:52:09.100 Fucking Levi's. 1.00
00:52:10.320 They had the suede vans there. 1.00
00:52:12.700 Yeah.
00:52:13.440 Dude, I'd never seen a Miller's Outpost until I lived in Arizona for a little bit.
00:52:16.900 And that's when it was a little bit different.
00:52:19.160 What do you guys see on the cameras?
00:52:21.060 And did you guys ever catch anybody having sex or anything like that?
00:52:24.200 Man.
00:52:24.800 So I actually have a good story about that.
00:52:28.660 We've seen a lot on camera.
00:52:30.240 I've seen people getting head.
00:52:32.080 But I've seen it all.
00:52:34.400 Oh, yeah.
00:52:34.900 That's one vote for Trump right there.
00:52:36.360 Hell yeah.
00:52:36.780 You feel me?
00:52:37.340 But we had a direct incident with one of our guards.
00:52:42.240 Okay.
00:52:43.180 So.
00:52:43.740 And what rank was he?
00:52:45.440 He was a no striper.
00:52:46.680 No stripe.
00:52:47.080 He was a no stripe. 0.79
00:52:48.320 He was a baggy pant dicky wearing guy like me.
00:52:51.820 Good guy though.
00:52:52.980 But he was messing around with the girl from Cinnabon.
00:52:55.900 He was.
00:52:56.500 Yeah.
00:52:57.420 Was he cute?
00:52:58.960 Eh.
00:52:59.220 She was all right.
00:53:00.180 She was a Cinnaboner. 1.00
00:53:01.260 You know?
00:53:01.560 Yeah.
00:53:03.020 So one day I'm watching the cameras.
00:53:05.500 And on the cameras I notice she's going to the car.
00:53:08.460 And I'm like.
00:53:10.240 That's.
00:53:11.120 That's not our guy.
00:53:12.840 That's.
00:53:13.220 I think it's the movie theater guy.
00:53:14.540 You know?
00:53:15.160 Wait.
00:53:15.420 What are you talking about?
00:53:15.920 I'm confused.
00:53:16.500 Okay.
00:53:16.720 So the girl from Cinnabon.
00:53:17.900 We were watching her go from Cinnabon to the parking lot to her car.
00:53:21.780 Okay.
00:53:22.300 But she was walking with a guy.
00:53:23.760 Oh.
00:53:23.900 She's walking with a guy to her car.
00:53:25.140 And I think he was the employee.
00:53:27.500 One of the employees from the movie theater.
00:53:29.280 Goes in there. 1.00
00:53:30.300 We could clearly tell they're doing some shit. 1.00
00:53:33.520 He leaves. 1.00
00:53:34.920 Within five minutes.
00:53:36.800 Somebody else comes walking up.
00:53:38.200 It's our guard.
00:53:38.920 He gets in the car.
00:53:40.060 No.
00:53:40.500 They start doing their thing.
00:53:41.800 Uh oh.
00:53:42.580 Was it a Honda Accord?
00:53:45.400 It was a Nissan Altima.
00:53:48.020 Yeah.
00:53:48.340 Yeah.
00:53:49.120 Altima.
00:53:49.940 For sure.
00:53:51.180 So.
00:53:52.660 They do their thing.
00:53:53.660 And we're just like.
00:53:54.320 Me and my other guy are like. 0.98
00:53:55.360 No fucking way this is happening. 0.98
00:53:57.140 Like. 0.99
00:53:57.660 She's on her break.
00:53:58.880 You know?
00:53:59.240 She's doing all this on her break.
00:54:00.500 Oh.
00:54:00.620 So she's on her break.
00:54:01.320 She met up with the movie dude.
00:54:02.380 They're hanging in the car.
00:54:03.640 He leaves.
00:54:04.840 Five minutes later.
00:54:05.940 Y'all's boy shows up.
00:54:07.020 The other guard shows up.
00:54:08.220 Does his thing.
00:54:09.060 Somebody from your rank.
00:54:10.300 So.
00:54:10.940 We call.
00:54:11.440 He gets in there.
00:54:12.080 And I was like.
00:54:12.400 Hey man.
00:54:12.640 I gotta show you something.
00:54:16.040 And I was like.
00:54:16.660 Hey.
00:54:16.900 You know we saw you go.
00:54:18.340 And he's like.
00:54:18.840 Yeah.
00:54:19.000 But I know you're not gonna say nothing.
00:54:20.040 Right.
00:54:20.320 You know.
00:54:20.540 I'm like.
00:54:21.060 Yeah.
00:54:21.520 But.
00:54:22.420 Rewind.
00:54:23.820 He's like. 1.00
00:54:24.760 What the fuck? 1.00
00:54:25.740 So we start. 1.00
00:54:26.480 You know. 1.00
00:54:26.660 Talking shit to him. 1.00
00:54:27.480 And all this stuff. 1.00
00:54:28.200 But.
00:54:29.260 I go up to the Cinnabon girl. 0.86
00:54:30.840 And I was like.
00:54:31.220 Hey.
00:54:33.040 I.
00:54:33.600 I watched everything that happened.
00:54:35.340 She was like.
00:54:36.140 Please don't say nothing.
00:54:37.040 I'm like.
00:54:37.960 Cinnabon for life.
00:54:39.300 So I got free Cinnabon for life.
00:54:41.080 But.
00:54:41.700 Yeah.
00:54:41.800 My boy.
00:54:42.500 And the movie guy.
00:54:43.820 Taxed the same girl. 0.99
00:54:44.940 In the. 1.00
00:54:45.320 In the fucking. 1.00
00:54:45.880 In a half hour period. 1.00
00:54:47.200 Saw that on camera.
00:54:48.580 And do you think. 0.94
00:54:49.260 It was full sex. 0.85
00:54:50.240 Or do you think. 1.00
00:54:50.560 It was oral.
00:54:52.540 Uh. 0.99
00:54:53.120 It had to have been full sex. 0.97
00:54:54.340 The second guy. 0.91
00:54:55.120 No way.
00:54:55.540 Why?
00:54:55.680 For sure.
00:54:56.260 He came out.
00:54:56.920 Adjusting his pants.
00:54:57.660 And she came out.
00:54:58.340 Like. 1.00
00:54:58.540 Adjusting her shit. 1.00
00:54:59.420 The first one. 1.00
00:55:00.220 She was kind of like.
00:55:01.060 You know.
00:55:02.260 Wiping it up.
00:55:03.140 Oh yeah.
00:55:03.700 She needed.
00:55:04.080 She probably just needed.
00:55:05.180 Free passes or something.
00:55:06.620 You know.
00:55:07.580 Oh yeah.
00:55:08.880 You know.
00:55:09.380 That's probably when.
00:55:11.220 What's that movie.
00:55:12.140 That killed Paul Walker.
00:55:14.440 Fast and Furious.
00:55:15.600 That's probably.
00:55:16.000 Fast and Furious 3.
00:55:16.880 Came out.
00:55:17.320 Have you.
00:55:19.360 What else would you guys.
00:55:21.500 Do you guys ever.
00:55:23.740 Hi this is Ari calling from Cole's department store on Gulf Road.
00:55:27.480 I've got an active.
00:55:28.980 This just shows how they can follow people with the mall cameras through the mall.
00:55:32.920 Oh yeah.
00:55:33.660 Security to 911.
00:55:34.980 You can do this too.
00:55:35.820 Oh yeah.
00:55:36.300 We used to do it all the time.
00:55:38.240 The security guard watches two men and a woman on store security cameras load items into
00:55:42.740 a cart like this wallet that she's convinced are about to be stolen.
00:55:47.500 And they can see the merchandise.
00:55:49.900 They've got a cart full and they're in a U-Haul truck. 0.99
00:55:54.920 Damn a whole U-Haul? 0.99
00:55:55.700 And a U-Haul. 1.00
00:55:57.500 And a parking lot.
00:55:58.820 She watches as they casually go through the store even taking time to sample some cologne
00:56:03.780 but accumulate more and more items in their cart.
00:56:07.240 They're about to go.
00:56:08.500 They're east.
00:56:09.620 Hold on.
00:56:10.380 They're about to exit right now.
00:56:11.060 Sorry they keep coming.
00:56:12.340 They're about to exit and then they come back.
00:56:14.500 They're like clotting their exit.
00:56:16.720 As the security guard waits for police to arrive she's still on the phone with 911 when the 0.94
00:56:21.560 woman pushes the cart full of stolen items out the front door. 1.00
00:56:25.720 They're going to go right now.
00:56:26.980 I've got to go make the apprehension.
00:56:31.760 She's the one in purple chasing the woman with the cart. 1.00
00:56:34.420 So you can run out and yell loss prevention though.
00:56:36.920 Yeah.
00:56:37.780 Do you guys do that?
00:56:39.600 I've done it a couple times.
00:56:42.160 What do you do?
00:56:42.880 What's that like?
00:56:44.060 What's it like now?
00:56:44.840 You see somebody stealing.
00:56:45.840 Take me through it.
00:56:46.900 Today.
00:56:48.060 Today.
00:56:48.460 Hey someone stealing you're pretty much just grabbed a description of them all that and 0.99
00:56:53.120 Can you call them a pussy or anything like that? 1.00
00:56:54.860 You can but you just like be wary of the cameras around you you know because everyone's got 0.99
00:56:59.660 a cell phone nowadays and it's like you could you could literally lose your job over saying 1.00
00:57:04.000 that's like fucking bullshit you know because I do want to yell out that shit. 1.00
00:57:06.520 Yeah the guy's a thief or the woman is. 1.00
00:57:08.260 Yeah. 0.97
00:57:11.360 Definitely have had my moments of hey please stop.
00:57:15.680 Don't do this. 1.00
00:57:16.460 You're going to fuck up. 1.00
00:57:17.260 I literally have your license plate and they're just turn around like fuck you and it's like 1.00
00:57:21.220 okay man and like you just have to follow them out you know and you're just kind of 1.00
00:57:25.180 escorting the like the thievery you know nowadays you're just escorting them now kids are coming
00:57:31.880 in like 20 at a time filling up trash bags and you can't stop that nowadays man you just
00:57:36.800 have to really escort them out you know.
00:57:38.760 So now thieves almost get security guards.
00:57:41.200 Yeah.
00:57:42.240 To make sure nobody touches them on their way out.
00:57:44.320 Right.
00:57:44.500 To make sure nothing else.
00:57:45.340 So I don't want anybody else getting involved here you're almost trying to keep other people
00:57:48.900 safe that are there that sort of thing.
00:57:50.460 Yeah like I'm trying to steal professionally here man back everyone up you know like I'm
00:57:54.620 trying to have a clear path to my car and it's like you give them that you know even 0.99
00:57:58.620 Damn bro. 0.98
00:57:59.960 One time Louis Vuitton had me work. 1.00
00:58:02.400 I was working at the Louis Vuitton store in the mall.
00:58:04.580 Oh hell yeah.
00:58:05.560 And we had a protest protest came and they start what fur like something about like fur like 0.99
00:58:13.080 because Louis Vuitton kills animals or some shit blah blah blah all that poor shit but 0.99
00:58:17.540 then they're all wearing leather Nikes and I'm like you guys are fucking up you know but 1.00
00:58:22.080 the this is it oh this could have been in a different mall yeah this they're from uh they're from like 0.98
00:58:30.220 AFA or some shit like that they do this like weird ass Instagram post for everyone to meet 0.99
00:58:35.600 up and then they'll come they do that they come in with the fucking uh bullhorns and shit right 0.99
00:58:40.860 and they say stop with the fur yeah fur kills or something like that but I didn't let him in my 0.99
00:58:46.640 door and this fucking put her megaphone right here and I literally like you have cameras and 1.00
00:58:54.380 everything and I'm and I'm just burying like all my hate for everything I've ever had in my life 0.99
00:59:01.140 she says a sound going right in your face yeah and and then she'll turn it around and then she'll 1.00
00:59:05.660 let the siren up because we had a rope it's like well we're gonna let you go so far it's like I 0.96
00:59:10.440 don't cross this rope you don't cross this rope she had the fucking bullhorn right here 1.00
00:59:13.920 and it's like I don't condone hitting women at all but I want to shove this bullhorn down your 1.00
00:59:22.300 fucking throat right now yeah you know and there was a point in time where one of the guards came 1.00
00:59:26.660 and he saw me shaking he goes are you gonna hit her I'm like since you said it no you know but if 0.99
00:59:33.220 you wouldn't have said it in the next minute something might have fucking happened you know and 0.97
00:59:37.160 those are the things you can't do 20 years ago I'd have snatched that bullhorn threw it across 0.98
00:59:40.820 the fucking mall oh yeah for sure 100% but it's it's stuff like that nowadays it's like that like 0.98
00:59:47.020 protesters they get away they're throwing fur and fake blood at you and you're just like 0.99
00:59:50.540 what are you supposed to do you know like and how much you guys get paid an hour 0.99
00:59:54.380 20 bucks an hour fuck come on man yeah ain't nothing man you know to get hit by 1.00
01:00:01.040 blood and fur and shit it's like what um what 1.00
01:00:07.160 when does fast grocery delivery through instacart matter most when your famous grainy 0.99
01:00:11.760 mustard potato salad isn't so famous without the grainy mustard when the barbecue's lit but
01:00:16.820 there's nothing to grill when the in-laws decide that actually they will stay for dinner instacart
01:00:22.260 has all your groceries covered this summer so download the app and get delivery in as fast
01:00:26.800 as 60 minutes plus enjoy zero dollar delivery fees on your first three orders service fees exclusions
01:00:32.760 and terms apply instacart groceries that over deliver ween are ready ween are ready ween are ready
01:00:44.360 for war blue chew is a unique online service that delivers the same active ingredients
01:00:52.700 as viagra sialis and levitra but at a fraction of the cost and in chewable form
01:01:00.740 blue chew tablets are made in the usa and prepared and shipped directly to your door
01:01:05.140 the best part it's all done online that means no visits to the doctor's office
01:01:10.820 no awkward conversations and no waiting in line at the pharmacy
01:01:15.500 does it work yep i'll tell you that straight up baby
01:01:20.440 i've snacked on one of them little bad boys baby one of them little bust pebbles and i enjoy it 0.97
01:01:26.780 blue chew wants to help you have better sex discover your options at blue chew.com and we've 0.89
01:01:34.040 got a special deal for our listeners try blue chew free when you use our promo code theo at checkout
01:01:42.240 just pay five dollars shipping that's blue chew.com promo code theo to receive your first month free
01:01:50.840 visit blue chew.com for more details and important safety information and we thank blue chew
01:01:56.580 for sponsoring the podcast this episode is brought to you by better help you need help don't you
01:02:03.360 sorry i'm talking to myself um i've struggled in my life with mental health and other type of
01:02:09.000 hell every damn every every type of health i could struggle with i've had it uh yeah most uh some 0.62
01:02:15.160 i've never really had leg pain but mental and emotional health uh those those have been tough 0.93
01:02:21.140 spots for me and when i get into a tough spot i like to trust someone better help is the group you can
01:02:30.280 trust if you're thinking of starting online therapy give better help a try it's entirely online
01:02:37.200 designed to be convenient flexible and suited to your schedule just fill out a brief questionnaire
01:02:42.980 to get matched with a licensed therapist and you can switch therapists at any time for no additional
01:02:49.240 charge and i recommend that if you have a therapist you're like i don't know how this is going don't be
01:02:54.440 afraid to make the switch sometimes you feel like i'm going to hurt their feelings you're not going to
01:02:59.180 you're going to hurt yourself by not getting yourself the best help that you can stop comparing and
01:03:06.020 start focusing with better help visit better help.com slash t-h-e-o today to get 10 off your
01:03:14.500 first month that's better h-e-l-p better help.com slash theo this episode is sponsored by better help
01:03:25.220 ever catch anybody having sex in any of the uh like dressing rooms oh yeah oh hell yeah hell yeah 0.88
01:03:33.440 dude i did it too one time did you yeah new orleans okay i was gonna say it wasn't that you know this 0.96
01:03:38.900 one place because you do look familiar no uh no uh i've uh we've caught two people on camera going in
01:03:45.080 and you can clearly tell they didn't go in with anything and the girl was like you know giving 1.00
01:03:49.480 the just like fucking suck your dick and then i was like oh she's doing blowing in there she's doing 1.00
01:03:53.480 probably blow and blowing can you hear can you see is there a camera you can see in there no not at 1.00
01:03:57.600 all okay not at all you could clearly see him walk in and she was like yeah i'm gonna suck your dick and i was 1.00
01:04:01.700 like oh she's gonna suck his dick and we creep up you know we don't make it no we creep up we listen 1.00
01:04:07.100 get a little perv on for a second and then fucking beat on the doors really hard and then you know 1.00
01:04:13.960 it's just oh you know next yeah something you know like deuce you know like you know but um definitely 0.99
01:04:21.060 i've gotten many people in the act many people all races all genders uh caught two gay dudes one time
01:04:27.500 that was an experience for me really yeah like what did you see any action sword fighting no
01:04:33.640 saw two wieners at once in your own line of vision yeah um it was at horton plaza uh
01:04:39.680 horton plaza is down in san diego it's not there anymore no that's the horn play yeah so
01:04:43.280 it was inside the theater and theater called and said hey there's something going on we need males to 1.00
01:04:52.740 come into the bathroom and handle this so i get in the bathroom and i hear giggling 0.99
01:04:58.240 and i almost feel they wanted to get caught yeah because when i opened the door it was almost like
01:05:05.400 they were paused and then like oh sorry and i'm like uh can please stop and what they had their
01:05:12.080 wainers out yeah both of them oh wow unfortunately one was hard and one was not oh wow that was really
01:05:17.760 looked yeah i had to like it was i mean you didn't have to i mean at a certain point you was you well
01:05:22.300 at the i think if you see the rest of somebody's body is naked you know the wieners right there in
01:05:26.600 the middle you know when you walk in and something and it's like oh oh oh yeah there was a you know 1.00
01:05:32.900 that three-step part of like hey guys dicks okay get the fuck out of my bathroom now you know but 0.99
01:05:38.780 i feel they wanted to get caught 100 well there is something weird if you see somebody naked 1.00
01:05:43.160 immediately you need to know if they have like you you like you can't even help but there's
01:05:48.740 something inside of you i guess maybe i don't know i don't know probably like competition is it bigger
01:05:53.320 than mine you know like you think no i think you just don't i don't know i remember i was in uh
01:06:00.260 we were in new orleans my girlfriend i went into victoria's uh secrets right we went up in there
01:06:07.440 and um yeah we both snuck in there and then just started having a little bit of scx boy
01:06:15.960 and we were young and so it was you know it was so you know and not like it was fun when you're young
01:06:21.780 it's fun to just do a little bit of fucking or whatever and it's um yeah it was like yeah sober 0.75
01:06:27.120 sex is for children i've always said that and anyway it was just that was awesome i miss her a lot 0.98
01:06:33.860 sometimes and um you know what else but but was there other sexual instances you guys would see
01:06:40.700 oh yeah uh a lot in the parking lot he had a lot to go in the parking lot a lot of employees after
01:06:45.740 work in the parking lot um what doing sex in cars oh yeah oh yeah uh we caught somebody behind the 1.00
01:06:51.880 trash can of the dumpsters one time like they coordinated to go take out trash together because
01:06:56.440 the guy told me goes yeah i told her to take out trash at like like 8 30 and we met yeah it's 0.91
01:07:00.820 romeo and juliet fuck yeah and the gross thing is like it was the food court trash can so it smelled 0.80
01:07:06.880 like food and i was like you couldn't use the one that uses plastic and cardboard oh yeah that's 0.98
01:07:11.040 recyclio and juliet dude yeah oh yeah right there behind the dumpsters though oh yeah if i oh yeah
01:07:19.120 it's hard for me to stay erect if there's broken glass around or like a bad trash smell is rough you
01:07:26.340 know the smell of other pee kind of throws it off too um oh dude i remember so wiggers kind of 0.66
01:07:34.740 remember them oh yeah i was one yeah oh really yeah right on dude yeah i had a black stepdad i have 0.94
01:07:39.760 a black stepdad so grew up in that you know yeah yeah and everyone's like you're a wigger i'm like 0.57
01:07:44.300 how there's a real one at my house yeah yeah yeah well it but they started at the mall oh yeah 100% 0.96
01:07:52.620 yeah like back in the day i feel like if you needed a wigger or you needed a ginger you went 1.00
01:07:57.900 to footlocker oh or lids i feel like that's where they kind of that was like their junior college
01:08:03.080 this guy's called out my whole life right now i love lids oh bro lids is a definite place
01:08:09.200 for you to roll up and see what was kind of wiggering around the area oh yeah you know yeah malibu's
01:08:16.160 most wanted was always walking through lids it was great and those were the ones yeah yeah that's
01:08:21.240 where god kept most of the wiggers i feel like was footlocker and lids dude yep oh 100 100 and jc
01:08:29.040 pennies they hid out in jc pennies really yeah because that's where all like some urban clothes
01:08:33.480 were at you know yeah so they would get them on sale they knew where the sales were um what happened
01:08:39.880 as moles started to decline man did you notice any of that in your time yeah you could definitely tell 0.99
01:08:45.480 like over one summer about 10 years 15 years ago it was just like not packed anymore wasn't fun
01:08:51.740 anymore um they still had the big movie blockbusters coming out but people weren't lining up to see
01:08:56.980 spider-man no more you know like once you see the theater die out i think that's when the mall is done
01:09:03.580 once once the theater starts going and you can't draw anybody in there because that's theater has
01:09:08.280 always been like the hub of why you go to like the mall sometimes you know like what are you going
01:09:12.500 there for i'm going to movies you know right but as soon as that decline started it just you can see
01:09:19.460 like and it's sad when you see like empty stores in the mall you know like oh man i used to go there
01:09:23.560 and it's like well it's not there anymore it's like put something in there and they'll put like
01:09:26.940 a phone store in there or they just yeah now apple's like 20 stores deep and you're like
01:09:32.040 cares you know yeah or it'll be like kumal's magic shop or something it's like 0.99
01:09:37.140 fuck get fucked homie i'm not going if yeah if someone's dropping you off at the mall to learn 1.00
01:09:43.340 magic dude you are being sex traffic dude yeah you're being set up for something i mean that's 1.00
01:09:49.820 easy right guys yep um but what about during the holidays did malls always stay busy at the holidays
01:09:58.360 kind of yeah they did they did for sure because once like like you said once the decline happened
01:10:04.360 start stores started doing more sales during the holidays trying to get the attention out
01:10:08.300 and those were the times it's like the holidays for the mall was great because it's like traffic
01:10:13.060 people were out having good times and stuff like yeah you know mingling yeah it's fun and that's the
01:10:19.820 best and that's the best thing about the mall they're blasting that music man 24 7 it's like ah
01:10:25.520 yeah it feels so good and with with the holiday mall thing it's i wanted to go back to that like
01:10:34.880 get rid of cyber monday and put it all back in the mall put the holiday sales back in the mall let
01:10:39.560 us fight let us like terrorize doors that you know like i miss the real black fridays yeah the real 0.66
01:10:44.920 black fridays are gone really yeah the the true black fridays of sitting out all night and you open 1.00
01:10:50.580 that door and i i two black fridays i got in a fight okay yeah i've got black friday was crazy 0.98
01:10:56.580 for you guys oh yeah black like that how would you prepare for that would you guys like did you 1.00
01:11:01.800 yeah like would you guys have to do any special training before black fridays or did you guys get
01:11:05.620 up early that day and what was that like um to be honest uh a lot of us would do actual stretches
01:11:12.020 like for black friday because we knew we had an 18 hour day um some of us who were smart enough
01:11:17.380 ate right ate correctly stretched out a little bit because we knew we were going to fight
01:11:20.980 especially if you were if there was a target at a mall like if there's a target set in the mall
01:11:25.720 that target was the worst place for black friday everyone's lined up they're rushing through they are 0.98
01:11:31.540 punching you they don't give a shit about nothing but but the the og black fridays man i i've missed 0.98
01:11:37.480 those those were the fighting days over like something yeah and oh yeah and those were like 0.99
01:11:43.000 and those were the first like remnants of you can't touch anybody you know the og black fridays 0.96
01:11:50.200 were kind of like the start of don't touch anybody just let them fight over that fucking blender that's 0.94
01:11:54.480 only two bucks right you know and you let them go at it well used to be you could buy like a coffee 0.97
01:11:58.860 make they'd have like a coffee maker that can tell if your cousin's gay or not you know and he'd be
01:12:03.740 like who cares but yeah we got to get that you know and they would fight over it yeah or they'd have
01:12:08.520 like a water purifier that can tell um that can guess your like uh weight or whatever it's just 0.98
01:12:15.900 like shit that's like one lady one lady one black friday got beat up outside because at the time 0.98
01:12:23.920 i don't they don't think they understood the system of layaway so like the actual store didn't 1.00
01:12:30.420 understand what they got themselves into yeah so this lady goes up and everyone's in fucking line 0.98
01:12:35.320 for the electronics everyone's fought already now i've lined everyone up calmed everyone down 0.83
01:12:39.280 because the electronic department in the store wasn't open yet they were waiting two hours to
01:12:44.140 put everything on sale this lady goes and asks how many playstation or how many ps4s do you have and
01:12:50.220 they're like oh we have a hundred and i remember hearing like we have 120 she goes i want to put lay
01:12:55.060 away on all 120 because it was only like five bucks a layaway so she's like how many cameras do you 0.93
01:12:59.840 have okay and so she spent like i don't know like two grand on layaway and bought out damn near 0.99
01:13:05.780 everything that people were waiting in line for so by the time like even the second person like so i
01:13:10.700 can't get a playstation they're like no as soon as they put on layaway they have to take that exact
01:13:15.360 item and put it in the back so it wasn't like they can reorder anything that was like whatever was 0.99
01:13:19.660 out was out on sale so this fucking lady put all this shit on layaway she gets out and people down 1.00
01:13:26.060 the line went and met her outside and asked her like hey are you gonna sell this stuff like is there 1.00
01:13:30.320 any way we can get in it and she's like no and start walking away and they beat the shit out of her 1.00
01:13:35.040 and i shut the door and walked away that's greed yeah i was like you deserve that one like because 0.94
01:13:42.660 she she was one she deserves it you can't go on christmas you're telling me you are you how old was
01:13:49.620 a woman oh she was in her 40s good you're telling me miss 40s you're gonna use 120 playstations 0.99
01:13:57.860 you're getting beat you're getting the fucking beat up you're getting beat up and that's the kind 1.00
01:14:02.400 of shit we need um vigilantism here's a video right here black friday stampede oh pink we used to be 1.00
01:14:09.020 for your secrets and this is whites hunting panties right here boy there we go 1.00
01:14:13.760 a lot of fucking thong hell yeah god that thong in there bro remember when the thong came out 1.00
01:14:23.580 oh yeah google when did the thong come out bro because that changed everything bro 1.00
01:14:28.980 everybody became a hoe right then when did the thong come out bro the thong swimsuit i'm talking 0.99
01:14:37.400 about the thong panty bro like when when did it come out in walmart to make you feel uncomfortable
01:14:43.500 because remember when i remember there was a time when they were actually out like in the walmart and
01:14:47.720 you'd walk by and you feel oh shit i don't think i could walk by this aisle 1990s it said uh 0.75
01:14:53.020 looks like they debuted in 74 but really caught on in the 90s let's go to yeah go get it okay 74 go to
01:15:00.220 there the thong makes its official debut with rudy gurney itches invention of the thong
01:15:07.280 swimsuit yep 2002 a year later this style was being sold as underwear across america that's in
01:15:13.100 74 in 1990s thong underwear hits the mainstream that's what happened marketed widely as a practical
01:15:19.040 undergarment to pair with slim fit jeans to best avoid visible panty lines yum yum the 1995 victoria
01:15:27.580 secrets hold its first public runway show led by model stephanie seymour and rebecca
01:15:33.640 raman igniting a consumer thong frenzy dude 2002 over 120 million pairs of thong underwear were sold in
01:15:42.980 the u.s alone that's when i was at the mall really yeah that's those are the years i was at them like 0.87
01:15:49.440 those are the good days man because i was 22 so you had all those like those young ass women coming 1.00
01:15:55.360 out of college buying the fuck it was like five for 30 oh yeah i would definitely i would be 0.99
01:16:03.540 i would be in there i bet it was a sniffer's dream was it oh yeah would you guys ever go in there and 1.00
01:16:09.360 do some pervy shit we wouldn't but we would catch the people that were you know were there some lurkers 0.99
01:16:17.340 in there in victoria secrets what was that like because that was victoria was that where the babes 0.99
01:16:21.760 were at where were the babes at in the mall victoria's secret okay victoria's secret um
01:16:26.380 we got a call one time about a pervy dude in victoria's secret because i guess they're allowed
01:16:33.500 to try on the panties and they put a little panty like whatever they do to put a little panty liner 1.00
01:16:36.940 in to like block the you know the clam and the jam so i guess they when they take the panties off it's 0.99
01:16:43.420 not like they go throw them in a washing machine they just put them back on the rack so i guess the
01:16:48.380 guy caught on to where they were putting those panties and he would go by and just kind of oh 0.99
01:16:52.920 yeah these look good yeah get that good whiff in boy make that fucking make your wiener walk forward 0.98
01:16:59.320 baby i like that um yeah i dude i yeah i understand i think it's um and would you guys have to go and 0.97
01:17:11.240 talk to that guy yeah unfortunately really yeah like how do you what do you say there um i actually 0.98
01:17:17.400 used my my own words i said hey man what the fuck are you doing in here sniffing underwear like 1.00
01:17:22.520 that and he's like i'm not i'm like bro you are in here sniffing panties like a fucking pervert 1.00
01:17:26.980 why he's like and he started walking away i said hey bro don't come in here no more stop grabbing 0.99
01:17:33.460 handfuls of panties and sniffing them we see you yeah and he and then he walks out and i i swear he
01:17:39.880 said this under his breath he goes i'm still gonna do it really yeah i was like oh he's dedicated
01:17:44.780 yeah you gotta respect that man but he was definitely one of the only ones that i actually
01:17:48.660 encountered i've heard plenty of stories like there was there's victoria secret girls used to 1.00
01:17:53.420 tell stories all the time about like oh man this guy used to do like a run by sniff or um girls would
01:17:58.560 like uh if they pull up their panties or they would hold panties in the air to look at them or 0.98
01:18:02.840 something a guy would like drop his wallet or something good you know a quick little sniff by and
01:18:07.520 he's like yeah we see a lot of that here i'm like why don't you say anything like sometimes it's
01:18:12.420 funny sometimes it's really pervy i'm like it's all pervy it's all pervy but at the same times i
01:18:17.940 guess it could be funny if you just see somebody hit a knee and a sniff yeah and what would they do
01:18:22.340 is trying to sniff sniff smell the woman the butt oh yeah yeah that'll get you sniffers are weird 0.78
01:18:27.940 yeah well it's uh you know humans are 40 animal or something and um they do it you know so i don't
01:18:36.180 think it's crazy no but it's uh yeah it's an art for i don't know if it's an art form that's crazy
01:18:42.760 but yeah it's seems weird i think it's i it should have been something back in the day that got frowned 0.89
01:18:47.700 upon like hey you can't be sniffing sally's ass it's like whatever yeah um have you ever had to 0.79
01:18:53.020 protect like a mall santa or anything like that yes or what's that like when the mall santa's come 0.98
01:18:56.880 take me through some uh christmas time lore okay so the mall santa situation is always a fun one
01:19:01.620 because um eight out of ten times he's a drunk really oh yeah you get you you will you will
01:19:10.800 honestly get a santa guy that comes in there who dedicates his life to being santa all year long
01:19:15.360 who can't wait to go to the mall to do the santa thing and then you got guys like me who are like 0.94
01:19:19.580 fuck i just need a job for like the season it's like seasonal job you know but i've had guys literally 0.93
01:19:25.240 pull up drunk you know like hey where do i go i'm like who are you santa it's like oh come on 0.99
01:19:31.600 over here um the santa the the drunk santas were always fun because they had the drugs they they
01:19:39.380 had the weed um and they were the funniest with the kids because they were the nicest yeah the the
01:19:46.980 guys that actually did the santa full year they would get irritated through the first two hours
01:19:51.160 the drunk ones would be like hell yeah i'll get your ferrari anything you want you know yeah so i
01:19:56.720 used to hang out with the those those santas uh during the season i'll get your mom a half pound 1.00
01:20:01.520 of cock you feel me that's crazy that's stupid actually you know i've actually heard a santa hit 0.99
01:20:06.700 on on her mom yeah and he should dude it's he said i got a present for you to unwrap oh santa should 1.00
01:20:13.420 get every the first woman the first guy any woman should want is santa who's your husband and you're 1.00
01:20:19.460 like uh you know he plays for the mets or whatever like bitch my husband is santa um we had santa on 1.00
01:20:27.420 the podcast show a clip of that guy let's just get a look at him he was amazing man oh he's got the 0.64
01:20:34.480 full look at him he got a championship belt on an area look at him he is the world champion of santa's
01:20:39.620 it was so cool to meet him dude we were excited how long is he how long did he do it for he was in
01:20:46.080 the game i think 26 years he did mall santa stuff he was sanning he'd done all types he'd done it from
01:20:53.560 everywhere across the globe from guam to um oh wow connecticut yeah he'd done everywhere um and what
01:21:01.560 was it like anybody ever any issues with mall santas or anything like that uh one one one santa had to
01:21:06.720 get fired his third day and i think because uh he fought a parent because the kid asked for something
01:21:13.680 and the parent was going like this trying to tell tell santa like tell him no tell him no it's like
01:21:19.120 santa's not allowed to say no you know what i mean well the kid was just asking for like toys like
01:21:24.140 basic ass toys but i guess the kid was a bad kid and this was supposed to be a lesson to the kid but 0.95
01:21:28.620 the parent didn't let us in on the fucking on the jam so the kid starts telling um santa like hey you 0.99
01:21:35.920 know i want this toy this toy this toy he's like oh yeah this that and she's like no tell him no and 0.95
01:21:40.540 like you could see him kind of like okay so he keeps going on then the dad walks up
01:21:45.900 and he starts still telling the story or telling what toys he wants and the santa starts just
01:21:52.180 eyeballing the dad because now the dad's like doing this so the kid gets up and now the dad walks over 0.96
01:21:58.460 and says hey man we're telling you fucking no and he's like hey i i don't know what you're telling me 0.98
01:22:04.020 no he's just asking for toys and the the dad kind of just did like this little backhand to it like he's 0.99
01:22:09.840 like shut up just just kind of backhand it literally a transformer he went from santa to 0.60
01:22:15.860 whatever his name because he stood up and literally as he stood up the beard the hat and everything just
01:22:22.820 kind of came off the whole top he's like what and they just started fighting right there on the spot
01:22:27.560 he's like he started santa started hitting them i kind of stepped in the middle pushed the mom back
01:22:33.140 because the mom started clawing at us and then the kids like he the kid literally standing there going 0.99
01:22:37.760 what did i he he yelled out am i getting a bike yeah i just want to know fuck you know but he 0.99
01:22:44.720 literally yelled out what did i do wrong and i'm like oh man you didn't like in my head like you 0.99
01:22:49.040 didn't do nothing wrong with your fucking parents you know yeah but i and later on and the cops came 0.98
01:22:54.060 the parents were explaining that we're trying to teach him a lesson we brought him here because 1.00
01:22:57.840 we want to talk to santa and all this shit and i'm like well you ended up getting your ass whooped 0.99
01:23:00.780 yeah so what's the lesson here yeah you shouldn't you can't attack santa because he has met because 0.99
01:23:07.020 he's the best that's why yeah and bro you don't know who's under that santa you know no um let me
01:23:14.040 ask you this um any would you hit on women during the mall because it's probably hard here's what i
01:23:20.100 would guess would be tough a woman shows up at the mall she's attractive you're you feel attracted to
01:23:25.320 her but then how do you not just chase her like not chase around but you know i'm saying a mall
01:23:31.020 is just people are going in a certain direction if you you know because i as even i remember when i
01:23:35.340 was young and i'd be at the mall you'd kind of be following the girl around the mall mall stalking
01:23:39.260 mall stalking's real is that what it's called mall stalking mall stalking and as a as a mall cop you
01:23:44.000 can definitely get away with it more than just being an average joe yeah you know because if you're
01:23:47.560 like just following a girl in normal clothes you're like what's going on but no we we used to 0.98
01:23:51.960 mall stalk back in our days you know girls would show up and it'd be nice too because like it's
01:23:57.500 kind of weird because we had our own little groupies because they think we like oh man he's
01:24:01.280 a security guard he can get us backstage like to what you know yeah the best we can do is probably
01:24:05.920 sneak you into the theater you know and that right there was money back in the day girls loved us for 1.00
01:24:11.560 that really yeah because it was it was a kind of a scam because i would walk the girl up to the movie
01:24:17.340 theater and i would know half the people anyway but most of the time i'd walk up i'm like hey uh
01:24:21.940 she left her purse in the theater i'm just gonna walk her in and make sure she gets out and they're 1.00
01:24:25.380 like oh okay guys you're all right i'm like so what movie would you like to see easy numbers man
01:24:31.320 easy numbers but yeah uh mall cops actually had their own little groupies around it was great
01:24:35.600 ever get laid from a woman you met at the mall nah yeah really nah no i never pursued uh too much
01:24:44.020 like i never pursued the the clientele yeah yeah just because you never knew where that was gonna land
01:24:49.200 oh yeah for sure sometimes you see like an attractive woman and they're just shopping at 1.00
01:24:52.580 the wrong store and you're just like oh yeah good on that you know sometimes it just fucks everything 0.88
01:24:58.460 up yeah oh so do mall cops have enemies you guys have other mall cops really yeah other mall cops um
01:25:07.220 so there would be beef on the force yeah oh yeah oh yeah oh yeah if you have so say you have
01:25:13.220 mall cops my heart say you have mall cops that like they're on their day off and they come to your
01:25:18.640 mall and they make it known that they're mall cops now there's just that beef and you see them
01:25:23.540 walking around because sometimes they'll come you're like oh we wouldn't do it like that oh you guys do 0.99
01:25:28.220 like oh well we do it like this like now we have beef fuck your mall fuck your whole mall yeah so there 0.99
01:25:35.120 was mall beef yeah oh yeah oh yeah anything has beef you know what i mean but mall cop beef was funny 0.99
01:25:43.400 would you guys ever do like a volleyball team or anything that for your mall was there any like um
01:25:47.280 no i did try to get a softball tournament going between the mall guys one time i really i'm not 0.56
01:25:51.800 kidding i really try to get horse i really try to get some softball shit going go out there get drunk 0.96
01:25:56.660 and if things lead to the ninth inning we fight we fight you know what i mean but yeah i was trying 0.88
01:26:01.220 to organize some things trying to have some fun you know yeah yeah i think you have to i remember at
01:26:06.900 a wafflouse one night i'd been using or whatever and i was in there and i almost had uh a team 0.96
01:26:14.020 take put together to fucking play another wafflouse oh shit yeah and then i don't know what 0.95
01:26:20.020 happened after that i think i think i might have fallen asleep or something but it was just yeah 0.99
01:26:23.920 people were hey when you get them on board though that's the best oh that's when it's the best dude
01:26:28.460 um what have i ever have a lost lost child situation there oh yeah though ever had a kidnapped child
01:26:35.520 situation no kidnapping situation um an attempted kidnapping happened on my day off
01:26:41.360 wow um we all heard about it uh i'm not gonna say it wasn't like a major thing to where like
01:26:47.540 somebody got out and like snatched a kid but i guess a lady was going around courting kids so to 1.00
01:26:53.600 say like like if the parent would walk away the lady i guess the lady was walking up and just kind
01:26:58.720 of like oh do you know my son have you met my son oh i think you go to school with him he's over there
01:27:04.720 and i guess she was just like listing random names and just a kid goes to elementary it's like
01:27:11.060 you might hit one of the names oh james is over there and i guess on the camera one of the kids
01:27:15.900 like looked up and said oh james and went to walk towards and the mom's like hey where are you going
01:27:20.540 and if the mom wouldn't have looked i think that would have been it for the kid but no straight out
01:27:26.480 by kidnapping lost kids all day uh out of a five week or out of a five day like scheduled for the
01:27:33.960 week four of those days you're going to deal with a lost kid no way guaranteed guaranteed what happens
01:27:39.820 what's the major cause of that well parents just being like just too into what they're doing kids
01:27:46.080 just running off not paying and like i have a toddler man these kids are they're just fast you know 0.95
01:27:50.640 what i mean they're fast as fuck and once they take off that's it you know like sometimes it's not 0.98
01:27:55.620 the parents fault sometimes it is the parents fault like i can really back it up like it maybe not but 0.98
01:27:59.840 usually is um i've had kids on the opposite side of the mall where the parents were literally like
01:28:07.760 inside like jc pennies and this kid bolted through the whole mall damn made it in other stores made it 0.57
01:28:14.980 all the way down and now he's just sitting at a toy store by himself and that's the truth he was
01:28:19.360 literally sitting in a toy store and when i found him he was sitting there playing with a toy and i
01:28:23.380 say hey his name was jacob i was like hey are you jacob and he looked up he goes yeah because he 0.99
01:28:28.660 was like seven or eight he was you know like he was old enough to know like fuck my parents yeah 0.99
01:28:32.580 i'm gonna go to his toy store yeah i'm gonna do my own shit dad's not doing well or whatever no 0.99
01:28:36.700 wow so that's got to be kind of is it scary or does it just get so repetitive that you're like 0.98
01:28:41.560 oh this is probably the same thing you know still scary no to me it's scary because one
01:28:46.680 i'm a parent and so it always sinks in like don't want to lose your kid but then you always want to 0.99
01:28:53.400 slap him in the back of the fucking head like dude pay attention to your kid yeah you know so 100 0.99
01:28:57.220 but you know the worst ones is during like the black friday like the holiday seasons because it's not 1.00
01:29:03.780 like one kid it's multiple kids that are missing and it's like they're not even missing it's just so
01:29:09.780 crowded you did not pay attention and do you have to do an intercom thing then or no oh yeah what do
01:29:15.080 you do what do you what do you say you're just getting over the line if the parents of jacob or
01:29:18.880 there's a lost kid he looks like this um and within if you go over a pa system within a minute
01:29:25.760 you know a lot of parents will start perking up you know like if you have a human heart you start
01:29:30.580 perking up and looking around just kind of check your surroundings and we usually get the call like 0.93
01:29:34.040 oh he's over here playing with fucking toys you know and he's like i'm gonna go get jacob 0.99
01:29:37.400 yeah so the food court what's going on there man food courts you miss it 0.98
01:29:42.560 yeah i miss the og food courts uh like sbarro's sbarro's pizza was so good love it it was good
01:29:50.360 and horrible but it was a lot of people's first taste of italian it was bring it up bring up
01:29:55.600 sbarro's sbarro's was good man they had a lot of uh
01:29:59.360 bread at it that's what i feel like it was hella bready 0.97
01:30:04.720 it's pizza but still yeah but god yeah sbarro you're right dude what the fuck am i talking about 0.94
01:30:10.360 sbarro's was so damn good so good and also you didn't know at that you there wasn't 0.95
01:30:15.940 you didn't know what was good or wasn't get the second no no yeah get that one right there
01:30:23.200 that's the one i went to god it looks good right i can just smell sbarro's sbarro's dude and i
01:30:32.560 loved it too because you like love sbarro's i love mall food because you don't have to wait long
01:30:36.660 it was just like what do you need what do you want and then you just go down this little jail
01:30:39.780 line and you're like bam bam bam bam bam pay and you're out and would you guys eat at the uh
01:30:44.820 eat there every day usually pretty much yeah especially because once you get like once you
01:30:49.940 make friends with everybody you're getting discounts you're getting hooked up and because
01:30:53.200 you're not telling on them because they're doing shit in the park a lot so you know yeah we ate 0.91
01:30:58.480 there a lot it gained a lot of weight did you oh yeah especially when rubio we had a rubio's 0.97
01:31:03.100 pop-up at one of my malls and i thought that was like okay i'm gonna start eating fresh and 0.89
01:31:07.200 eating better fuck no tortillas all day it was great fuck yeah rubio's rubio's in a mall is good 0.97
01:31:14.160 yeah rubio's is pretty good man they took out they they used to have a mcdonald's in my mall and i know 0.99
01:31:20.020 it's i know it's weird to say kind of frowned on it's like why would you take out the mcdonald's and
01:31:24.620 it's like because everyone would go strictly to mcdonald's because if you put a mcdonald's in the mall
01:31:29.580 it's just like you know like malls to a flame but doesn't that help because then at least the
01:31:33.920 malls are around the freaking other stores yeah but they just i guess mcdonald's just takes all
01:31:40.740 the business from all the food court places oh because it's because kids because it's food court
01:31:45.760 if you're with kids it's always up to the kid where you're going you know and they're like mcdonald's
01:31:49.640 you know it's right kids will always say mcdonald's yeah especially if they have the playground yeah
01:31:52.960 and miss fields did they have that oh mrs fields they had the cookie cakes remember those 0.89
01:31:58.500 those are fucking good my mom would always get those for us for our birthdays oh man dude bring 0.91
01:32:03.880 that cookie yes yes so those were speaking of miss fields in my day we actually used to get these 0.99
01:32:11.820 cookies after they were closed because um a lot of these places they can't like sell the shit the 0.99
01:32:17.660 next day or it's like goes bad or whatever i've eaten probably a hundred of those fucking birthday 0.99
01:32:23.380 cookies in my life yeah taking them home cut them all up hand out to friends and shit yeah i've 0.99
01:32:29.220 showed up to like friends houses with fucking three or four of these cookies like is your birthday i'm 0.99
01:32:33.440 like nope mrs fields was closing you know you have two cakes is a happy birthday chad on them you're 1.00
01:32:39.820 like who the fuck is chad who gives a shit but happy birthday chad um what mall store had the dumbest 1.00
01:32:45.080 employees oh shit or what mall store was just like what mall store was whatever it was just like what 1.00
01:32:52.580 are we um uh what is it fyi is that a store fye fye dvd store yeah oh yeah that was a weird thing 0.99
01:33:02.080 i was like what was that um it was it was like the it was like it was like all the fake yeah it was like
01:33:08.180 all the fake movie buffs worked there like all like it was just like it was just a weird store like
01:33:13.840 they had the weirdest employees there and no disrespect to them but you guys were weird
01:33:18.040 it seems weird though because it's like like you wanted to work at hot topic but you weren't cool
01:33:24.500 enough to work at hot topic you wanted to work at like the music trader or even the movie theater 0.81
01:33:29.160 and you weren't cool enough to be like and this was like all right fuck it here work at fye this is 0.95
01:33:33.420 like the leftover shit yeah but to be fair fye had a lot of good finds like you could find like the 1.00
01:33:40.120 most random ass shit there you know like that like a scar face porn you're like hell yeah oh yeah 1.00
01:33:45.580 that's respectable um what store had the hot chicks where where uh yeah what store had chicks in it 1.00
01:33:52.440 usually the victoria's secrets uh amber crombie uh when amber crombie and fitch came out i did not go
01:33:59.360 into that store for almost the first year like even like as an employee working at the mall and they
01:34:04.420 would tell you to go do wellness checks on your stores i would not go in amber crombie and fitch why
01:34:08.380 i didn't fit in the clothes i just it just one of those things man oh yeah it was only for
01:34:13.700 attractive people like models like yeah it was for models so i did not walk in there and the one time
01:34:20.160 i did walk in i was like so this is where all the women are at gotcha gotcha but amber crombie and 1.00
01:34:27.320 fitch was just a little intimidating you know for myself i was a miller's outpost guy like i said
01:34:32.360 yeah well amber crombie and fitch too dude they uh and they'd have like naked children on horseback 0.97
01:34:37.920 remember when they came out with all those photos and shit i thought that was j crew that did that 0.98
01:34:41.120 i don't know who it was j crew was one of those stores too you're just like am i a pedophile or 0.93
01:34:45.060 am i a medium you know like you just couldn't even nothing made any sense in those places dude that
01:34:50.540 was no that was the weird part yeah you felt weird um oh yeah look at that straight and they would
01:34:55.540 have them all and sometimes they would have live models standing out there like come on in 0.97
01:34:58.940 yeah that was weird i worked at one for a little i worked in the back though
01:35:04.840 back with the sloths back there ringing the bell for whatever you know bringing the church bell or 1.00
01:35:14.460 whatever it's lunchtime y'all let's go get your six back in the steam room yeah they would let me
01:35:21.960 out sometimes to wash people's six packs in the front i had to oil them sometimes oh but with the spray i
01:35:28.000 have to do the towel thing it was like you know bet dude bet what were the best things about being
01:35:34.080 a mall cop oops the the leniency of not having like a boss hanging over your head sometimes because 0.92
01:35:40.480 with having the badge you were able to go places and nobody would fucking question you and 0.94
01:35:45.820 flat out i'm a pothead so the best thing about being a mall cop and i think why i stayed there so 0.94
01:35:53.460 long was because i had so many hiding places i had so many like resources for free food um people
01:35:59.920 watching was great you know it was just like those small things but the majority of it was just not
01:36:04.780 having somebody breathing down your neck 24 7 because you were like your own boss you know a lot of mall
01:36:09.580 cops are a lot of mall security you'd only be like one or two guys you know four at the most if it was
01:36:15.020 like a busy mall it's like one or two guys and the one guy that's walking around in the platoon or
01:36:19.540 whatever yeah yeah and then it's just like i'm just by myself you know and that's always good
01:36:26.200 and it's just always good until somebody makes a call of a lost kid or some shit and you're like 0.64
01:36:29.240 i gotta go would you ever be would you be high a lot of times most of the time and if it if any 0.98
01:36:35.240 security guard if any fucking security guard at a mall says that they weren't stoned or not stoned or 0.98
01:36:40.740 doesn't have a pin in their pocket now you're not a real security guard you're not oh yeah security 0.99
01:36:46.540 stone 24 7 i i will never hide that fact wow that had to be so scary you get a call for a missing
01:36:52.480 kid and then like a 30 seconds later you forget what you're looking for and you just buy a uh
01:36:58.020 aunt annie's pretzel or whatever oh shit yeah and the mom's like if you found him you're like 0.81
01:37:03.980 who you know like um i don't i'll admit it okay so i'll admit one time yeah i i was getting really 0.94
01:37:12.160 high in the parking lot and a call comes over that um a boyfriend had shown up to
01:37:19.160 one of the stores and the girl had already called the cops already told the managers so we were aware 0.99
01:37:25.280 of this boyfriend that was being abusive so i get the call hey gus uh girl's boyfriend's back
01:37:33.940 this and that can you head towards the store i 100 was like confident that i was gonna make this call
01:37:41.340 i was like yeah no problem no problem i'll be there right now i'm on my way i'm actually walking
01:37:45.420 but i was in the parking lot smoking i put my radio down i go back to my phone i go back to the blunt
01:37:51.980 that's lit and i start scrolling through my phone thinking all right let me just hit this a couple
01:37:56.620 more times and i'll get out of here about 10 minutes later a call comes says hey the police are coming 0.99
01:38:02.880 now the guy hit the girl and i'm like oh shit oh fuck i fucked up so i'm putting it out i'm 0.99
01:38:09.620 fucking putting the sanitizer on fucking clone and everything deodorant and i'm fucking running 0.99
01:38:15.480 towards the thing and the first thing i do theo i can't make this up i looked around nobody's watching 0.99
01:38:21.320 i take i had these little scissors in my i had this like little knife but it had the scissors in it
01:38:26.840 i took the scissors and i cut my pants and i took dirt and i went like this and i came up limping 0.81
01:38:31.760 i'm like where were you i'm like i fucking fell and i tripped and i rolled my ankle 0.98
01:38:36.500 and i i was calling you guys but nobody was fucking answering me and they're like are you okay i'm like 0.95
01:38:41.700 yeah i'm fine totally lied that i rolled my ankle and fell it's because this girl got hit by her 0.95
01:38:47.220 boyfriend damn yeah to this day i'm sorry no to this day i feel bad yeah you should have been there 0.83
01:38:53.000 should have been there should have ran to the thing but i didn't think that was going to happen 0.99
01:38:56.880 but then that's not true you were hot you know fucking i guess you didn't think it was yeah you 0.99
01:39:04.820 didn't think it was serious i didn't think he was going to go in and hit her yeah yeah you're right 0.99
01:39:08.240 my bad my bad because it was like the stories where he was just coming up and yelling at her for like 0.95
01:39:14.420 rent money or whatever the fuck he was asking because he's asking for money he kept asking for money 0.56
01:39:17.880 but i didn't think he was going to hit her but the story went and he got she got in his face and 0.98
01:39:22.680 they started doing this and bumping each other and he had pushed her and like hit her or something 0.96
01:39:26.780 i was like fuck i would have been there for that i would have so been there for that but instead i 0.99
01:39:30.620 was watching fucking videos can't win them all man nah you know and i bet there was a lot of ones 0.99
01:39:35.560 that you won um gus parsons mall cop we appreciate you man thanks for keeping things secure and uh and 0.99
01:39:42.820 yeah man thanks for spending your time with us today i appreciate everything you've done for me man
01:39:46.300 i can't thank i can't thank you guys enough oh yeah it's been a blast man thank you so much
01:39:51.260 now i'm just floating on the breeze and i feel i'm falling like these leaves i must be cornerstone
01:40:01.080 oh but when i reach that ground i'll share this peace of mind i found i can feel it in my bones
01:40:12.000 it in my bones so date gonna tell you
01:40:14.000 yeah but it's gonna tell you
01:40:14.360 yeah but it's gonna tell you
01:40:14.820 yeah but it's gonna tell you
01:40:15.300 yeah but it's gonna tell you
01:40:15.480 yeah
01:40:16.120 but it's gonna tell you
01:40:22.820 yeah but it's gonna tell you
01:40:25.100 it's gonna tell you
01:40:29.820 Yeah but it's gonna tell you
01:40:35.340 yeah but it's gonna tell you
01:40:36.700 yeah but it's gonna tell you