This Past Weekend with Theo Von - Emo Nemo

00:00:00.100 Hey guys, before I start today's episode, I just want to let you know, so, you know,

00:00:04.780 you'll see in the episode, I'll change shirts if you're watching on YouTube, because I started

00:00:08.540 the episode and then I had to go do the pod, then I had to go do the show in Raleigh, my

00:00:12.900 last show on Sunday night, and then I had to come back.

00:00:14.940 I know maybe you guys don't care, but what I realized while I was at the show was that,

00:00:19.280 you know, I hadn't taken my antidepressants in about three, tomorrow morning will be my

00:00:24.120 fourth day.

00:00:25.340 And some of you guys, if you don't take antidepressants, you don't care.

00:00:28.220 You don't know.

00:00:29.380 That's fine.

00:00:30.440 But for me, man, you know, I get kind of chirped out, you know, I'm fine, but I just

00:00:35.200 get a little bit of, you know, I get a little bit of emo-nemo, you know, I start kind of

00:00:38.960 swimming around in my feelings too much.

00:00:41.200 So, it's not a disclaimer or anything, but I did notice, you know, before I was leaving

00:00:45.020 for the show that I was just kind of, you know, just kind of stressed out.

00:00:48.760 It's just been a long week, and then when you don't have that support, your training

00:00:51.940 wheels are gone, it can get a little tricky.

00:00:53.740 But, uh, love you guys, and let's get into the episode.

00:00:56.880 Today's episode is brought to you by Gray Block Pizza.

00:00:59.700 Gray Block for that pizza that you need.

00:01:03.180 Today's episode is also brought to you by our sponsor, Beard Brand.

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00:01:22.560 to be, you know, kind of softened up, or tightened up, or whatever, or even soft tightened at

00:01:27.960 the same time.

00:01:29.060 Maybe you are a bicyclist, and your face gets chapped in certain spaces, and you got to, you

00:01:33.300 know, moisten that skin up.

00:01:34.800 Maybe you have chapped spots under your eyes.

00:01:36.940 Maybe you stare real hard at stuff, and you need to moisten those hitters.

00:01:41.140 You know, you got to moisten up your little vision balls.

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00:02:05.180 They also have a styling balm.

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00:02:13.460 slash Theo, actually, and you'll get that free sea salt spray automatically added to your

00:02:20.100 order while supplies last.

00:02:22.000 So get on there, get that hitter.

00:02:23.520 We'll put the link below.

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00:02:27.880 I've tried them, I've used them, and I like them, and you might also.

00:02:31.840 So, all right, let's get that hitter live from Raleigh, North Carolina.

00:02:38.680 Raleigh, Raleigh, Raleigh, Raleigh.

00:02:41.560 Let's rely on ourselves to get through this episode.

00:02:47.980 Onward, baby.

00:02:48.980 Onward, baby.

00:03:01.840 Every night I lie, every night I lie away, every night I feel like a fake, I put on a show,

00:03:17.720 knowing nobody will call me, every night you sleep, every night I sleep.

00:03:31.820 You play a thief, steal your things, that you know, but you still believe, that it was

00:03:41.640 me.

00:03:42.660 It was me.

00:03:44.820 Yeah, it was me alone.

00:03:50.020 It was me.

00:03:51.240 There you go.

00:03:58.600 That's Jameson Flood with Every Night.

00:04:02.900 Every night I lie awake.

00:04:05.200 Every night I put on a, I feel like a fake, I put on a show.

00:04:11.120 Interesting lines there.

00:04:13.420 You know, interesting lyrics.

00:04:15.720 Interesting notes.

00:04:17.360 For years, boy.

00:04:19.180 Interesting little sound bites.

00:04:21.360 Just things to think about.

00:04:23.580 You know, what's going on?

00:04:24.920 I'm here from Raleigh, North Carolina.

00:04:28.600 Dude, this one's coming to you by sunlight.

00:04:31.180 I put this thing up by sunlight.

00:04:33.020 Usually I put up the lamps and I tape this thing in the evening, but I still have another

00:04:36.620 show to do.

00:04:37.120 I got a show I got to be at, and literally I'll be on stage in one hour from now.

00:04:41.360 So a lot of you guys are like, well, it's going to be a short episode.

00:04:43.740 It might be.

00:04:45.400 It might be that tiny dancer.

00:04:48.100 You know, this might be a mouse.

00:04:51.100 You know, this might not be a lemur.

00:04:53.960 This might not be a leopard.

00:04:55.380 This might be a mouse.

00:04:58.520 But it might be a circus mouse.

00:05:01.760 Well, yeah, you might have a little bit of a circus mouse.

00:05:07.800 Because some people, you know, a lot of mice can't do the shows.

00:05:11.580 And a lot of mice are powerful.

00:05:14.320 You know?

00:05:15.840 And if a mice gets electrocuted enough, he could be a rat.

00:05:20.660 So sometimes you don't need that leopard.

00:05:22.160 You think you need that leopard, but you need that fucking shifty mouse.

00:05:26.600 Sometimes you get that mouse, that little Brazilian jiu-jitsu fucking little, you know,

00:05:31.780 that dirty little midget marsupial.

00:05:34.700 You know, that crafty little fucking cheese snacker.

00:05:38.540 Think about it.

00:05:39.360 Dude, a mouse?

00:05:41.340 A lot of people talk about fancy animals.

00:05:43.720 You know, they talk about, you know, everybody's always talking about the polar bears and shit

00:05:47.880 like that.

00:05:48.900 Animals we don't even see, bro.

00:05:50.460 We don't know anything about the polar bears, dude.

00:05:53.700 What are you talking about?

00:05:54.320 There's a couple pictures of them.

00:05:56.240 Their hair's always yellow.

00:05:57.480 Because I guess a lot of them look like they, I think they smoke cigarettes.

00:06:01.180 You know?

00:06:01.440 And so a lot of the smoke gets on your mustache like your granddaddy used to have

00:06:05.580 when he'd, you know, blow them Winston's.

00:06:07.800 And that smoke would get all, you know what I'm saying?

00:06:10.560 If you didn't have a granddaddy with a yellow mustache and a little bit of light green

00:06:14.460 tinge on his cheeks, then maybe you didn't have a real granddaddy.

00:06:21.420 But yeah, I mean, a lot of animals, they're fancy animals out there.

00:06:25.420 You know, a lot of big animals and people talk about, you know, chimpanzees, you know,

00:06:29.340 bonobos, you know, meerkats and the like, you know, Komodo dragons.

00:06:35.540 But a lot of people, they don't, nobody wants to give credit to a mouse.

00:06:41.300 Think about a fucking mouse, dude.

00:06:44.320 A mouse, um, dude, a mouse could be anywhere right now.

00:06:50.020 What's in your sofa?

00:06:52.480 What's living in your sofa?

00:06:53.660 A fucking leopard?

00:06:54.880 Doubt it.

00:06:55.960 Maybe a mouse.

00:06:58.060 You know, a mouse have so many small practices.

00:07:01.140 Mouse love cheese.

00:07:02.660 We love cheese.

00:07:03.840 You don't think there's some, you know, you're, you can, you, you have so much more.

00:07:09.580 You can relate to a mouse so much more than you can so many other animals.

00:07:14.400 Sometimes you get scared.

00:07:15.760 Mice get scared.

00:07:16.740 You know, mice don't like cats.

00:07:19.540 A lot of people don't like cats.

00:07:22.820 You know, but sometimes you want these big animals.

00:07:24.940 You want these fancy hitters, but all you need is that mouse.

00:07:28.000 You need something small.

00:07:28.960 You need something.

00:07:30.360 You just need something.

00:07:33.700 You know, you got to keep it small.

00:07:35.380 Aim small, miss small.

00:07:38.120 You know, I don't want to keep it big.

00:07:39.560 I'm trying to stay focused.

00:07:41.900 It's been nice here in Raleigh, Raleigh.

00:07:44.140 Well, first of all, you guys should have a meeting and decide how you're going to pronounce your city.

00:07:50.220 Raleigh, Raleigh.

00:07:54.240 Some guy said it like that.

00:07:56.100 I'm like, dude, that's not a name.

00:07:57.480 You got fucking, dude, you got adult asthma, son.

00:08:01.660 You might have water in your lungs, baby.

00:08:05.160 You got them fucking Titanics in your chest, dude.

00:08:07.840 Your shit's sinking.

00:08:10.040 You know what I'm saying?

00:08:10.820 You might want to tell the band to keep playing

00:08:12.280 because you're fucking going down with your own fucking breathe ship.

00:08:18.960 You know, you got them fucking inner body bags,

00:08:22.100 those breath shuttles, and your shit's filling up with water.

00:08:26.040 He's like, welcome to Raleigh, North Carolina.

00:08:32.620 Like, bro, you need to get checked out.

00:08:35.120 Or you don't even need to get checked out.

00:08:36.920 Just know that your shit is, you got some fucking interior leaks going on.

00:08:41.860 You know, just know that when you have a glass of water,

00:08:44.200 probably about 6% of it ends up in your lungs.

00:08:47.280 Just know how, you know, know what your intake is like.

00:08:51.140 But it's been nice here.

00:08:52.360 What's been going on?

00:08:54.500 You know, sometimes I get amped up, and sometimes I get more amped down.

00:08:58.400 You know.

00:08:59.380 Sometimes I get like a tiger.

00:09:01.420 Sometimes I feel like a loud animal,

00:09:04.620 and sometimes I just feel a little bit more like a mouse.

00:09:09.600 You know, and I like being a mouse, I think.

00:09:12.680 You know, because a mouse...

00:09:16.680 You know, a squeak is pretty specific.

00:09:18.760 A mouse can't make a lot of sounds.

00:09:21.400 You know, a mouse can make a squeak.

00:09:22.820 So you have to be very...

00:09:27.460 You got to be specific.

00:09:29.260 You got to try and be articulate.

00:09:31.640 You know, you have to try and be effective.

00:09:35.280 You know, people are...

00:09:36.640 I say people, and when I say people, I'm talking about myself.

00:09:40.620 I just don't want to feel alone.

00:09:41.980 So a lot of times I'll say people, or I'll say we.

00:09:46.220 But I...

00:09:48.200 Man, I think there's going to start to be...

00:09:50.540 People, I...

00:09:51.980 Here I do it again.

00:09:53.660 I...

00:09:54.180 I think that silence, that peace,

00:09:58.680 is just...

00:09:59.560 That it's all going to start to become so much more of a commodity.

00:10:05.540 Like, you know, like back in the old days,

00:10:07.280 it used to be like,

00:10:07.980 oh, there's gold in those hills over there,

00:10:09.760 and people would show up to go get the gold.

00:10:12.220 But, you know, I feel like in 10 years,

00:10:14.620 it's going to be like,

00:10:15.120 oh, there's a...

00:10:16.260 There's a...

00:10:17.120 There's no advertisements over in those hills over there.

00:10:20.100 Or there's no...

00:10:21.620 You know, no...

00:10:23.820 There's no, you know,

00:10:27.680 backhanded marketing over there in that cave over there.

00:10:31.480 There's no loud noises that you don't want.

00:10:34.620 There's no constant music,

00:10:36.460 constant sounds,

00:10:37.540 constant just loudness.

00:10:40.220 There's peace of mind over there.

00:10:42.220 That's the new gold.

00:10:44.080 That peace of mind.

00:10:46.620 You know, it used to be a gold mine,

00:10:48.300 am I any?

00:10:48.720 And now it's peace of mind.

00:10:50.620 You know what I'm saying?

00:10:51.000 I'll be in there all day with a pickaxe,

00:10:52.700 just trying to get a fucking moment

00:10:54.560 of solitude,

00:10:57.160 a moment of silence,

00:10:58.300 a moment of...

00:10:58.920 just a moment of that.

00:11:07.820 A moment of mouse.

00:11:12.060 Because, man, they got...

00:11:13.420 It's a lot of tigering.

00:11:15.580 It's a lot of tigering.

00:11:16.760 They got a lot of false tigers out there

00:11:18.480 scratching at you

00:11:19.560 and trying to get our attention.

00:11:20.920 They got a lot of, you know,

00:11:23.680 crazy cats over here

00:11:24.780 dancing and dancing.

00:11:25.840 Next thing you know,

00:11:26.100 I've been watching this cat for two years

00:11:27.320 and this cat ain't doing anything for me.

00:11:32.600 But,

00:11:33.120 here I am yelling at you.

00:11:36.100 And I'm not trying to preach about things.

00:11:37.800 I don't know what I'm thinking about.

00:11:38.580 When you get down here in the south, man,

00:11:39.840 and you get lifted up.

00:11:41.620 You get the spirit.

00:11:43.160 This is Andy Griffith country.

00:11:45.080 A lot of people don't know Andy Griffith.

00:11:46.800 He was from Mount Arie.

00:11:52.000 Oh, where is he from?

00:11:53.040 Andy Griffith.

00:11:53.720 He's from...

00:11:54.100 I believe it's Arie.

00:11:56.220 I don't know how you pronounce it.

00:11:58.560 Andy Griffith.

00:12:00.540 He's from right around here.

00:12:01.700 He went to UNC.

00:12:03.520 He's from Mount Arie, North Carolina.

00:12:07.360 Andy Griffith.

00:12:09.280 He had a children, Andy Griffith Jr.

00:12:12.240 and Dixie.

00:12:13.380 And Dixie Griffith.

00:12:14.740 And he died in Manteo, North Carolina.

00:12:18.160 July 3rd.

00:12:19.560 And he was born in June.

00:12:21.480 And he died in July.

00:12:22.720 And so, you know,

00:12:23.260 he must have been a shot of light

00:12:25.780 and a shot of warmth

00:12:26.940 because he showed up in the summer

00:12:28.100 and left in the summer.

00:12:29.520 And that wasn't a winter man.

00:12:31.600 But Andy Griffith,

00:12:32.400 one of the best storytellers ever.

00:12:34.680 You know,

00:12:34.860 you can still find a lot of his stuff on YouTube

00:12:36.280 and if you really go looking.

00:12:38.380 And some of my favorite storytellers,

00:12:39.700 Jerry Clower,

00:12:40.840 out of Yazoo City, Mississippi.

00:12:42.540 Still one of the greatest

00:12:44.720 albums ever sold.

00:12:48.100 You go look on albums sold all time.

00:12:51.020 And it was a small man

00:12:52.740 out of Yazoo, Mississippi.

00:12:55.440 One of the greatest storytellers of our time.

00:12:58.920 And you know what?

00:12:59.420 I felt a little inspired, man.

00:13:00.740 You know,

00:13:01.000 I like telling stories

00:13:01.840 and I get inspired by men like that

00:13:03.340 and Andy Griffith.

00:13:04.140 And we went to the park.

00:13:05.800 I went to the park over there

00:13:06.940 with my buddy Kevin.

00:13:08.640 My buddy Sneaky Kevin showed up

00:13:10.620 and I,

00:13:11.280 T-shirt Kevin,

00:13:12.420 they call him.

00:13:13.280 And I met him.

00:13:14.120 Him and his brother were,

00:13:15.260 you know,

00:13:16.780 drinking beer

00:13:17.440 and playing skill crane

00:13:18.560 trying to win stuffed animals

00:13:19.680 on a cruise ship.

00:13:21.160 And I saw that man.

00:13:22.360 I said,

00:13:22.700 damn boy.

00:13:23.680 You know,

00:13:23.980 and they're probably in their 40s

00:13:25.180 or even their 60s.

00:13:26.180 I don't fucking know, bro.

00:13:28.240 You know what I'm saying?

00:13:28.780 Even when you look at them,

00:13:29.700 you don't,

00:13:30.660 you don't know what's going on

00:13:31.960 with them really,

00:13:32.720 you know,

00:13:33.480 calendarically,

00:13:34.360 you know,

00:13:34.740 age wise.

00:13:36.440 But,

00:13:36.980 but I saw those two gentlemen

00:13:39.120 playing a skill crane

00:13:40.260 drinking canned beer

00:13:41.120 trying to win stuffed animals,

00:13:42.540 man.

00:13:42.800 And I said,

00:13:43.380 fuck.

00:13:44.020 I got to talk to these guys

00:13:45.260 right here.

00:13:46.300 You know,

00:13:46.740 because these guys

00:13:47.180 are on to something.

00:13:49.060 These guys are on to something.

00:13:50.760 Trying to win a real quiet

00:13:52.080 little bear

00:13:52.780 or a fucking,

00:13:53.820 you know,

00:13:54.160 a little pink giraffe,

00:13:55.920 man,

00:13:56.100 when they in their 40s

00:13:57.020 or 50s or 60s.

00:13:58.220 And their brothers come in.

00:14:00.040 What's going on?

00:14:01.100 Call the cops, bro.

00:14:02.820 Call the cops

00:14:03.660 because these boys

00:14:04.300 are coming in

00:14:04.980 a little bit fucking,

00:14:07.060 a little bit illegally.

00:14:10.640 Yeah,

00:14:11.040 the sun's going down.

00:14:11.820 I'm looking out the window

00:14:12.500 right now.

00:14:12.940 I'm seeing some pine trees.

00:14:14.740 Dude,

00:14:15.000 they put me up

00:14:15.560 in a fancy place.

00:14:17.560 Dang.

00:14:19.300 Dude,

00:14:19.600 this,

00:14:19.820 I turn on the fucking,

00:14:21.080 you ever turn on the faucet

00:14:22.320 and you feel bad

00:14:23.020 the water's going down

00:14:23.740 the drain?

00:14:24.660 That's how this place is.

00:14:26.440 You're like,

00:14:26.880 damn,

00:14:27.180 this fucking,

00:14:28.660 the place I'm staying at,

00:14:30.120 this place is rich,

00:14:31.300 man.

00:14:31.940 They have curtains

00:14:32.900 and then they have a curtain

00:14:34.000 outside of the curtain

00:14:35.800 and then they have a thick,

00:14:38.400 thick,

00:14:38.920 thick curtain.

00:14:40.140 I don't know what that's for.

00:14:41.020 I think if you're going

00:14:41.520 to kill somebody,

00:14:42.200 it's like a Dexter.

00:14:43.480 It's like drawing them

00:14:44.380 Dexter shades, dude,

00:14:45.440 because once you draw

00:14:46.040 the heavy ones,

00:14:47.540 I mean,

00:14:47.840 these are some really

00:14:48.700 violent animals.

00:14:50.540 You know,

00:14:50.700 when it comes to curtains,

00:14:51.640 these are the fucking,

00:14:53.340 you know,

00:14:53.940 these are them,

00:14:54.600 you know,

00:14:54.920 these are the,

00:14:55.860 when it comes to curtains,

00:14:57.060 these are,

00:14:58.080 what are they like probably?

00:15:00.480 They're probably like

00:15:01.160 the dark night.

00:15:02.360 These are the bane

00:15:03.280 of curtains.

00:15:04.700 You know,

00:15:04.920 these are some,

00:15:06.140 when other curtains,

00:15:07.340 I bet a lot of other

00:15:08.020 curtains fold up

00:15:08.960 when they say the,

00:15:09.840 when they see these

00:15:10.400 hitters showing up

00:15:11.360 and they,

00:15:13.400 yeah,

00:15:14.100 they got three curtains

00:15:15.100 so you could,

00:15:16.240 yeah,

00:15:16.640 and the water,

00:15:17.380 the water looks so fresh

00:15:18.480 out of the tap,

00:15:19.200 it's just going down

00:15:19.880 the drain.

00:15:20.460 You're like,

00:15:20.980 fuck,

00:15:21.260 I want to bucket this

00:15:22.160 shit up and take it out.

00:15:24.420 You know,

00:15:24.960 I might go get me to it.

00:15:25.980 Some of,

00:15:26.240 some of those big jugs

00:15:27.540 that they have

00:15:28.040 in office buildings

00:15:28.900 and I might take

00:15:32.500 a lot of this damn

00:15:33.180 tap water home

00:15:33.960 if this shit is nice.

00:15:36.660 Do you ever been

00:15:37.360 in a hotel room

00:15:37.960 that's so expensive?

00:15:39.060 I can't even sleep.

00:15:41.420 I said,

00:15:41.900 fuck,

00:15:42.160 this hotel room

00:15:42.780 is like $400 a night.

00:15:45.580 So I ain't sleeping

00:15:46.540 fucking,

00:15:47.160 if I even sleep

00:15:48.220 that's going to cost me

00:15:49.040 $160.

00:15:50.060 I'm just going to stay up

00:15:51.240 and at least watch

00:15:53.840 my money go by.

00:15:56.440 This hotel room

00:15:57.380 is nice,

00:15:58.180 man.

00:15:59.360 They have a,

00:16:00.240 um,

00:16:01.740 they have like a,

00:16:03.180 they have phones

00:16:04.140 in here.

00:16:04.640 They have

00:16:05.300 extra soap

00:16:06.820 and the soap

00:16:08.180 is all wrapped up

00:16:09.180 in like a little package.

00:16:11.260 Like,

00:16:11.760 damn,

00:16:12.140 like this soap

00:16:12.680 won an award.

00:16:14.620 Like,

00:16:15.080 this fucking soap

00:16:15.800 won an ESPY.

00:16:17.780 You know what I'm saying?

00:16:18.380 Like this little bar,

00:16:19.240 like this little bar

00:16:20.180 of,

00:16:20.520 you know,

00:16:21.720 of lavendery,

00:16:22.940 you know,

00:16:24.220 body wash,

00:16:25.220 this thing

00:16:25.720 fucking caught

00:16:26.520 a fly ball.

00:16:27.400 You know,

00:16:29.500 to win the,

00:16:30.120 to win the championship.

00:16:33.180 It's,

00:16:33.980 yeah,

00:16:34.240 it's just nice,

00:16:34.940 man.

00:16:35.060 It's a nice place

00:16:35.820 out here.

00:16:36.920 And so it's just

00:16:37.660 a little different.

00:16:38.360 You know,

00:16:38.500 I'm used to stay

00:16:39.040 in a little bit

00:16:39.480 more regular places,

00:16:40.400 but I'm grateful

00:16:41.020 that this club

00:16:41.600 put me up

00:16:42.200 and I'm grateful

00:16:42.980 to everybody

00:16:43.340 that came out.

00:16:43.980 man,

00:16:44.140 we sold this

00:16:44.800 weekend out

00:16:45.560 and you guys

00:16:46.940 came out

00:16:47.340 and you know

00:16:47.600 what,

00:16:47.760 I'll be honest,

00:16:48.280 sometimes I don't

00:16:48.820 really maybe flex

00:16:49.780 in some of this way,

00:16:50.560 but I'm gonna say

00:16:51.020 this shit.

00:16:52.180 Dude,

00:16:52.380 you gotta,

00:16:52.820 thank you for

00:16:53.400 continuing to support,

00:16:54.880 go support

00:16:55.640 good comics.

00:16:57.540 Don't let these

00:16:58.280 networks

00:16:58.840 and this bullshit

00:16:59.700 and,

00:17:00.380 you know,

00:17:00.900 these talk shows

00:17:01.840 that it's all paid

00:17:02.660 for and all these

00:17:03.440 guests,

00:17:03.880 they try to make

00:17:04.380 it seem authentic

00:17:05.120 and it's not real.

00:17:06.320 Don't let them

00:17:07.100 tell you what is

00:17:08.360 funny.

00:17:10.300 Don't let them,

00:17:11.060 you know,

00:17:13.220 don't let them,

00:17:14.520 they can influence

00:17:15.220 you in entertainment,

00:17:16.720 right?

00:17:17.620 They can influence

00:17:18.560 you and they can

00:17:19.260 show you and you

00:17:19.940 can have some joy,

00:17:20.900 but don't,

00:17:21.400 when those people

00:17:21.920 start pushing their

00:17:22.620 beliefs and stuff

00:17:23.420 on you,

00:17:23.760 that's when it

00:17:24.120 gets scary.

00:17:26.300 You know,

00:17:26.820 because then that's

00:17:27.280 that bait and switch.

00:17:30.780 So,

00:17:31.580 and I mean,

00:17:32.300 and maybe that's

00:17:33.100 the shit I do,

00:17:33.700 I don't know,

00:17:34.460 maybe I'm doing

00:17:35.080 the same,

00:17:35.400 I have no fucking

00:17:36.020 idea,

00:17:36.520 man.

00:17:38.060 But,

00:17:38.500 I was just,

00:17:39.000 it's just,

00:17:39.400 I don't know,

00:17:39.840 I just feel so much

00:17:40.460 gratitude,

00:17:40.840 gratitude of

00:17:41.040 people coming

00:17:41.520 out and,

00:17:43.800 you know,

00:17:44.140 because I worked

00:17:44.580 my ass off.

00:17:45.160 I love doing

00:17:45.640 this job.

00:17:46.660 I love making

00:17:47.300 people feel good

00:17:48.340 and I feel like

00:17:49.580 it's a responsibility

00:17:50.360 that I have

00:17:51.200 if I can do it.

00:17:52.960 You know,

00:17:53.420 if I can make

00:17:53.920 people laugh

00:17:54.540 and I can make,

00:17:55.200 you know,

00:17:56.260 you know,

00:17:57.300 that's a gift I

00:17:58.080 have.

00:17:58.280 I don't,

00:17:58.460 you know,

00:17:58.680 this is,

00:17:59.560 I don't do,

00:18:01.620 I didn't make

00:18:02.520 my world,

00:18:05.080 you know,

00:18:05.420 I didn't create

00:18:06.880 the world.

00:18:07.980 I didn't bring

00:18:08.840 myself,

00:18:09.460 you know,

00:18:09.780 I didn't bring

00:18:10.480 myself into the

00:18:11.340 world.

00:18:12.960 You know,

00:18:13.500 I've been here

00:18:13.860 navigating this

00:18:14.800 vessel I'm on,

00:18:16.440 you know,

00:18:17.700 with a lot of

00:18:18.460 help from my

00:18:19.020 friends,

00:18:19.480 boy.

00:18:20.460 Fucking Bob

00:18:21.120 Seeger country

00:18:21.980 in my life

00:18:22.680 or Jerry Seeger,

00:18:23.860 whatever that

00:18:24.200 guy's name is.

00:18:25.580 Yeah,

00:18:25.740 Bob,

00:18:26.460 little,

00:18:26.860 little,

00:18:27.540 huh?

00:18:30.240 But,

00:18:30.600 fuck,

00:18:33.300 I forgot what I

00:18:33.660 was talking

00:18:33.960 about,

00:18:34.320 dude.

00:18:35.260 Damn,

00:18:35.740 man,

00:18:35.980 sometimes I

00:18:36.440 hate thinking,

00:18:37.080 bro,

00:18:37.500 because when

00:18:37.960 you think,

00:18:39.800 dude,

00:18:40.020 if you start

00:18:40.460 a thought

00:18:40.960 and you start

00:18:43.060 talking,

00:18:44.260 dude,

00:18:44.840 the second I

00:18:45.400 start talking,

00:18:45.980 I get far away

00:18:47.980 from my thought.

00:18:49.760 Then I'm just

00:18:50.320 lost,

00:18:50.880 bro.

00:18:51.840 And when it

00:18:52.180 comes to chatting,

00:18:53.060 man,

00:18:53.220 I'm like that

00:18:53.620 Hansel and Gretel,

00:18:54.420 baby,

00:18:54.600 I better take a

00:18:55.360 couple of bags

00:18:56.100 of breadcrumbs with

00:18:57.400 me into a

00:18:59.020 conversation or

00:18:59.800 into even a

00:19:00.400 long sentence

00:19:01.220 because I will

00:19:02.200 not know where

00:19:02.780 the fuck I

00:19:03.300 started.

00:19:05.520 But I guess I

00:19:06.020 was just thinking,

00:19:06.580 yeah,

00:19:06.720 so many people

00:19:07.160 came out,

00:19:08.580 you know,

00:19:08.780 and it made me

00:19:09.140 feel good.

00:19:09.560 And if I have

00:19:10.020 the ability to

00:19:10.600 make people

00:19:11.000 laugh,

00:19:11.440 right,

00:19:12.640 then,

00:19:13.740 yeah,

00:19:14.260 that's not my

00:19:14.760 ability.

00:19:15.440 Like,

00:19:15.580 it's,

00:19:15.780 you know,

00:19:16.000 it's something

00:19:16.620 that I do,

00:19:17.220 but it's not,

00:19:18.500 I don't know,

00:19:19.260 I just feel

00:19:19.840 like,

00:19:21.520 you know,

00:19:22.200 I don't know,

00:19:25.480 I just feel

00:19:26.040 I'm just grateful

00:19:26.900 people came

00:19:27.500 out and I'm

00:19:30.880 happy to be

00:19:31.320 the one,

00:19:31.820 you know,

00:19:32.420 being one of

00:19:33.040 the comedians,

00:19:33.700 I'm happy to

00:19:34.120 be one of

00:19:34.500 the people

00:19:34.780 doing it.

00:19:37.020 But yeah,

00:19:37.560 this is somebody

00:19:38.100 else,

00:19:38.340 you know,

00:19:38.520 this is from

00:19:38.940 a different,

00:19:39.720 I'm just a

00:19:40.280 conduit,

00:19:40.820 I've said this

00:19:41.580 before,

00:19:41.960 but I'm just,

00:19:43.140 you know,

00:19:43.920 I'm just

00:19:44.360 whatever's

00:19:45.340 bringing,

00:19:46.080 if people are

00:19:46.660 laughing,

00:19:47.060 I'm just,

00:19:47.520 you know,

00:19:47.880 part of the

00:19:48.300 river that's

00:19:48.740 bringing that

00:19:49.120 into the

00:19:49.440 world.

00:19:49.920 That's all

00:19:50.340 I am.

00:19:52.460 You know,

00:19:53.000 and I guess I

00:19:53.500 just feel like

00:19:54.000 when people come

00:19:54.640 out and,

00:19:55.520 but, you know,

00:19:56.320 like,

00:19:56.440 I just want,

00:19:57.980 you know,

00:19:58.380 there's a lot,

00:19:58.760 I have a lot

00:19:59.460 of friends that

00:19:59.860 are great

00:20:00.140 comedians that

00:20:00.860 don't get as

00:20:01.700 much respect as

00:20:02.480 they do because,

00:20:04.120 you know,

00:20:04.440 a lot of these

00:20:04.860 networks and

00:20:05.460 stuff,

00:20:05.680 they don't put

00:20:06.040 them out there.

00:20:07.180 They don't even

00:20:07.600 know,

00:20:08.020 man,

00:20:08.120 you talk to

00:20:08.500 some of these

00:20:08.840 executives,

00:20:09.400 they don't even

00:20:09.720 fucking know.

00:20:11.340 I'm like,

00:20:11.780 you haven't heard

00:20:12.180 of this guy?

00:20:13.360 That guy's been

00:20:14.020 killer for nine

00:20:15.160 years,

00:20:15.440 you don't know

00:20:15.920 him?

00:20:18.280 But I'm just

00:20:18.880 saying,

00:20:19.260 you know,

00:20:19.500 we just got to

00:20:19.980 make our own

00:20:20.400 choices.

00:20:21.480 And sometimes we

00:20:21.920 have to look past

00:20:22.680 what's on the

00:20:23.300 regular shit.

00:20:24.160 you know,

00:20:25.460 we got to find

00:20:26.120 out and people

00:20:26.640 got to send

00:20:27.120 stuff to us

00:20:27.780 and I don't

00:20:28.880 know,

00:20:29.400 I guess I'm

00:20:29.940 getting preachy

00:20:30.660 now,

00:20:30.860 I'm sorry.

00:20:32.100 But it's been

00:20:32.720 fun,

00:20:33.040 man,

00:20:33.120 I had so much

00:20:33.580 fun,

00:20:33.880 so many people

00:20:34.340 came out,

00:20:34.800 people came

00:20:35.200 out,

00:20:35.840 man,

00:20:35.980 I had a

00:20:36.260 dude that

00:20:36.560 flew in,

00:20:37.520 it was his

00:20:37.940 birthday,

00:20:39.280 you know,

00:20:39.520 my dude just

00:20:40.140 got a couple

00:20:40.600 years sober

00:20:41.360 and he invited

00:20:41.980 me out to a

00:20:43.120 meeting and I

00:20:43.720 couldn't make it

00:20:44.220 because I haven't

00:20:44.500 been sleeping

00:20:45.020 well.

00:20:47.460 We had a

00:20:48.080 single mom come

00:20:48.800 out,

00:20:49.140 Nancy,

00:20:50.740 you know,

00:20:51.080 she came out

00:20:51.860 and she has a,

00:20:52.460 she has a little

00:20:54.160 two-year-old

00:20:55.480 and,

00:20:56.400 you know,

00:20:56.720 her sister

00:20:57.180 brought her

00:20:57.600 out and her

00:20:57.980 sister flew in

00:20:58.740 just for the

00:20:59.360 show to bring

00:21:00.080 her out to the

00:21:00.600 show,

00:21:01.460 you know,

00:21:02.000 and we treated

00:21:02.560 her out and

00:21:03.000 we're going to

00:21:03.280 take care of her

00:21:03.840 dinner and stuff

00:21:04.420 like that and,

00:21:05.540 you know,

00:21:05.740 next time I'm

00:21:06.280 going to have

00:21:06.400 to go with

00:21:06.880 the single mom

00:21:07.580 and,

00:21:07.880 you know,

00:21:08.740 and not in a

00:21:09.640 lewd way,

00:21:10.780 you know,

00:21:10.920 I'm not trying to

00:21:11.660 become that

00:21:12.100 stepdaddy unless

00:21:13.660 I grow a sweet

00:21:14.860 mustache,

00:21:15.660 boy,

00:21:16.940 but,

00:21:17.540 but yeah,

00:21:18.520 it was just

00:21:18.800 cool,

00:21:19.140 man,

00:21:19.340 it's just there's

00:21:19.760 so much love

00:21:20.360 going on in the

00:21:20.900 building and I

00:21:22.380 want to thank

00:21:22.760 our Patreon

00:21:23.280 supporters who

00:21:23.980 helped make

00:21:24.340 that a reality,

00:21:25.480 the single mom

00:21:26.080 stuff and we're

00:21:27.320 going to,

00:21:27.660 we're going to

00:21:28.180 start doing some

00:21:28.680 other outreach

00:21:29.280 stuff,

00:21:29.580 I'm trying to

00:21:29.940 find a business

00:21:30.560 planner who

00:21:31.980 knows more

00:21:33.020 about philanthropic

00:21:36.380 type of stuff

00:21:37.940 so we can do

00:21:40.640 some more,

00:21:41.280 so we can do

00:21:41.800 neat stuff,

00:21:43.260 you know,

00:21:43.560 and I'm going to

00:21:43.820 get a cameraman

00:21:44.460 in different cities,

00:21:45.360 I'll say that now,

00:21:46.160 if you're in a

00:21:46.580 different city

00:21:47.200 coming up and

00:21:48.660 you are,

00:21:49.460 know how to

00:21:49.840 operate a camera

00:21:50.600 decently,

00:21:51.460 don't fucking look,

00:21:53.100 if you show

00:21:53.680 up with a

00:21:53.940 35mm or you

00:21:55.320 show up with

00:21:55.760 an easel and

00:21:58.100 some paints and

00:21:58.880 shit,

00:21:59.140 we ain't got time

00:21:59.780 for that,

00:22:01.180 but you know,

00:22:01.680 if you want to

00:22:02.120 do a production

00:22:02.740 company or

00:22:03.300 something that's

00:22:03.720 small,

00:22:04.740 like this ain't a

00:22:05.300 big budget thing,

00:22:06.620 but we'd love to

00:22:07.500 be able to create

00:22:08.160 some cool video

00:22:09.220 elements of like,

00:22:10.500 you know,

00:22:10.720 maybe we take a

00:22:11.300 single mom out and

00:22:12.000 do something fun for

00:22:12.880 her or do something

00:22:13.580 fun for the kids

00:22:14.500 or I don't know,

00:22:16.340 or do some other

00:22:17.300 outreach ideas,

00:22:19.120 you know,

00:22:19.460 so we're gonna

00:22:22.320 figure out some

00:22:23.380 more stuff,

00:22:23.800 but I'm gonna try

00:22:24.120 to find a

00:22:24.600 business person

00:22:25.300 who knows just

00:22:26.880 a little bit more

00:22:27.380 how to do that

00:22:27.860 because there's

00:22:28.560 only so much I

00:22:29.100 can think about

00:22:29.880 without still

00:22:31.540 being able to

00:22:31.960 do,

00:22:32.440 you know,

00:22:32.800 the work.

00:22:33.720 So anyway,

00:22:34.020 I don't know why

00:22:34.340 I'm talking about

00:22:34.780 all this,

00:22:35.060 I'm not even

00:22:35.380 being entertaining,

00:22:36.180 but I'm sorry

00:22:37.640 about that,

00:22:38.080 I know this is

00:22:38.620 an entertainment

00:22:39.240 podcast,

00:22:41.220 man,

00:22:41.320 I've been just

00:22:41.800 all over the

00:22:42.320 place,

00:22:42.920 dude,

00:22:43.040 I haven't been

00:22:43.340 sleeping well

00:22:44.200 since I got back

00:22:44.840 from China,

00:22:45.660 I've just been

00:22:46.120 stressed out,

00:22:47.120 man,

00:22:48.320 you know,

00:22:48.620 it just takes a

00:22:49.160 lot of,

00:22:50.040 you know,

00:22:50.300 and I'm grateful

00:22:50.840 everybody comes

00:22:51.400 out,

00:22:51.640 but this,

00:22:52.180 I never realized

00:22:52.720 how much energy

00:22:53.320 this takes,

00:22:53.760 you know,

00:22:54.080 a lot of this

00:22:54.560 takes,

00:22:55.040 you know,

00:22:55.520 and then I feel

00:22:56.480 like a responsibility,

00:22:57.640 you know,

00:22:57.880 like I guess,

00:22:59.920 and maybe this is

00:23:00.660 something that's

00:23:01.180 wrong with me,

00:23:02.060 you know,

00:23:02.460 I think this may be

00:23:03.340 some defect I

00:23:04.280 have,

00:23:04.700 you know,

00:23:06.680 I just feel like

00:23:07.120 a responsibility

00:23:07.820 to,

00:23:11.400 you know,

00:23:11.960 I guess,

00:23:12.500 man,

00:23:12.740 I don't know,

00:23:13.060 this just got me

00:23:13.700 feeling,

00:23:15.540 this just got me

00:23:16.160 kind of emotional

00:23:16.880 and I don't know

00:23:17.280 what I'm talking

00:23:17.680 about,

00:23:20.140 I mean,

00:23:20.760 I just want to

00:23:21.420 like,

00:23:23.620 you know,

00:23:24.200 I guess here's

00:23:24.720 what I'm saying

00:23:25.160 is like if I

00:23:26.040 have like,

00:23:27.140 you know,

00:23:27.360 say I have the

00:23:27.940 ability to do

00:23:28.820 comedy or to

00:23:30.080 tell stories or

00:23:30.800 whatever,

00:23:31.420 whatever it is,

00:23:32.200 man,

00:23:33.620 you know,

00:23:34.040 or this gift,

00:23:35.400 whatever gift I

00:23:36.100 have that was

00:23:36.620 given to me

00:23:37.140 by whatever

00:23:37.600 higher powers

00:23:38.340 are out there,

00:23:40.120 you know,

00:23:40.480 I guess I just

00:23:41.080 want to best be

00:23:41.900 able to use

00:23:42.460 my ability

00:23:44.200 to,

00:23:45.920 you know,

00:23:46.640 to do,

00:23:47.160 I guess,

00:23:47.440 good stuff

00:23:48.040 or to help

00:23:48.460 other people

00:23:49.100 and I know

00:23:50.820 I'm not trying

00:23:51.260 to be cheesy

00:23:51.800 or anything

00:23:52.120 but that's

00:23:54.080 suddenly it

00:23:54.900 becomes for me

00:23:55.500 like a lot

00:23:55.980 of pressure,

00:23:57.240 you know,

00:23:57.440 like I don't

00:23:57.840 know,

00:23:59.880 you know,

00:24:00.200 and I know

00:24:00.580 I'm doing,

00:24:01.160 I know I'm

00:24:01.600 like being like,

00:24:03.260 you know,

00:24:03.540 we do,

00:24:04.180 you know,

00:24:04.480 I know we're

00:24:04.900 trying to do

00:24:05.300 like a lot

00:24:05.740 of neat stuff

00:24:06.360 but it's just

00:24:06.900 like it's just

00:24:07.380 a lot,

00:24:08.040 man,

00:24:09.120 you know,

00:24:09.380 and I got

00:24:09.660 my producer

00:24:10.300 Nick Davis

00:24:11.060 and Chris Perez

00:24:12.720 and those dudes

00:24:13.440 are working

00:24:13.840 that,

00:24:14.200 you know,

00:24:14.900 they're not

00:24:15.280 even getting

00:24:15.560 paid that

00:24:16.060 much

00:24:16.500 and,

00:24:17.580 you know,

00:24:17.740 they're working

00:24:18.180 way,

00:24:18.960 you know,

00:24:20.520 they're working

00:24:21.060 overtime,

00:24:21.640 everybody's,

00:24:22.040 you know,

00:24:22.380 it's,

00:24:23.160 but we want

00:24:23.540 to do good

00:24:24.040 stuff,

00:24:24.520 I guess,

00:24:24.760 I don't know

00:24:25.020 what I'm

00:24:25.240 saying,

00:24:25.600 man,

00:24:25.840 I just,

00:24:27.240 you know,

00:24:27.480 I guess I just

00:24:27.900 don't want to

00:24:28.220 fail,

00:24:28.620 I don't

00:24:32.200 want to fail

00:24:32.680 myself but I

00:24:33.660 don't want to

00:24:34.040 fail like

00:24:34.740 whatever ability

00:24:37.440 that I have,

00:24:39.100 you know,

00:24:39.420 I don't want to

00:24:39.900 fail like whatever

00:24:40.840 gifts or ability

00:24:42.600 that I have

00:24:43.500 to do good

00:24:46.180 or to be

00:24:47.320 or to help

00:24:47.860 others,

00:24:48.260 I don't want to

00:24:48.720 like,

00:24:50.080 I don't want to

00:24:50.960 like not be

00:24:51.620 present to miss

00:24:52.560 like an opportunity

00:24:53.340 to do that

00:24:54.300 and,

00:24:55.660 and so I guess

00:24:57.560 suddenly I just

00:24:58.140 been feeling

00:24:58.460 like a lot

00:24:58.800 of fear

00:24:59.200 like I don't

00:24:59.600 know what

00:25:00.000 I'm doing

00:25:00.500 you know,

00:25:04.560 because you

00:25:04.940 do it for

00:25:05.380 years and,

00:25:06.100 and,

00:25:06.300 and people

00:25:07.040 aren't,

00:25:07.520 they don't

00:25:07.760 see you,

00:25:09.360 you know,

00:25:10.480 you're just

00:25:10.920 a mouse

00:25:11.440 and then

00:25:13.580 people show

00:25:14.300 up and

00:25:16.640 suddenly they,

00:25:19.280 and suddenly

00:25:19.780 you feel like

00:25:20.460 you're supposed

00:25:20.760 to be a cat,

00:25:21.480 I guess,

00:25:21.880 you feel like

00:25:22.380 you're supposed

00:25:22.680 to be a,

00:25:23.260 a mountain

00:25:24.040 lion,

00:25:25.400 you know,

00:25:25.780 or a,

00:25:26.180 you know,

00:25:27.180 a aardvark

00:25:27.820 that's,

00:25:28.600 you know,

00:25:29.400 also fucking

00:25:30.140 doing some

00:25:30.620 dirty shit

00:25:31.120 on the side

00:25:31.740 and fucking,

00:25:32.980 you know,

00:25:33.240 he's supposed

00:25:33.540 to be just

00:25:33.880 doing aardvark

00:25:34.540 shit,

00:25:34.900 but low-key

00:25:35.440 at night

00:25:35.800 he's doing

00:25:36.160 fucking,

00:25:37.200 you know,

00:25:38.040 monkey type

00:25:39.740 stuff and

00:25:40.440 fucking,

00:25:41.400 you know,

00:25:43.560 you know,

00:25:45.080 dangerous animal

00:25:45.840 shit,

00:25:46.960 you know,

00:25:47.200 maybe hang

00:25:47.820 gliding or

00:25:48.360 something like

00:25:48.740 that fucking

00:25:49.260 shit,

00:25:49.940 you know,

00:25:50.440 butterfly type

00:25:51.140 activities,

00:25:52.640 but,

00:25:52.960 but yeah,

00:25:55.060 so then people

00:25:55.480 show up

00:25:55.920 and you feel

00:25:56.440 like,

00:25:56.760 you know,

00:25:56.920 you're supposed

00:25:57.160 to be a cat

00:25:57.740 but then I

00:25:58.160 still feel

00:25:58.720 like a mouse

00:25:59.400 but then maybe

00:26:00.840 I just,

00:26:01.420 you know,

00:26:01.660 it's okay to

00:26:02.180 be a mouse,

00:26:03.040 I don't know,

00:26:04.420 it's just been a

00:26:05.140 weird fucking week,

00:26:05.900 man,

00:26:06.320 I know this episode's

00:26:07.220 all over the place,

00:26:08.240 this is what happens

00:26:09.060 when I'm on the road,

00:26:10.160 when I'm not in the

00:26:11.020 studio,

00:26:11.540 dude,

00:26:11.740 I've been losing it,

00:26:13.460 you know,

00:26:13.720 but literally,

00:26:14.260 like I get home

00:26:15.160 and I haven't been able

00:26:16.800 to sleep till like

00:26:17.460 three or four,

00:26:18.760 you know,

00:26:19.020 and then I wanted to go,

00:26:19.920 like I even got a rental car

00:26:20.920 this weekend,

00:26:21.480 my mother went to

00:26:22.120 Duke University

00:26:22.900 and it's right down

00:26:23.620 the road from here

00:26:24.480 and she graduated

00:26:27.400 with honors,

00:26:28.160 you know,

00:26:28.400 I think second

00:26:28.960 in her class,

00:26:30.820 you know,

00:26:34.800 and so like,

00:26:35.780 you know,

00:26:36.100 my whole life

00:26:36.700 my mom's been

00:26:37.220 like a delivery person,

00:26:38.460 you know,

00:26:38.740 like she was in sales

00:26:41.040 when I was real little

00:26:41.900 but then after that,

00:26:43.760 you know,

00:26:44.020 just delivering papers

00:26:44.940 and delivering magazines

00:26:45.960 and all of that

00:26:46.760 and so I guess,

00:26:49.120 I don't know,

00:26:49.640 fuck man,

00:26:50.160 I'm getting,

00:26:50.480 this shit's,

00:26:52.320 you know,

00:26:52.540 I wanted to go see her college

00:26:53.740 where she went to school

00:26:54.540 because I know she was

00:26:55.500 like real proud of that

00:26:56.580 and then I didn't get to go

00:26:58.600 because I just haven't

00:26:59.700 been able to sleep

00:27:00.360 and then I just haven't

00:27:01.100 been feeling that,

00:27:02.140 so then during the day

00:27:03.080 I'm just stressed,

00:27:04.040 you know,

00:27:04.360 it's like I'm just stressed

00:27:05.380 and I'm trying to sleep

00:27:06.140 all day

00:27:06.780 but just because

00:27:07.780 I haven't slept,

00:27:09.320 so anyway,

00:27:10.080 I'm not trying to complain

00:27:10.900 to you guys,

00:27:11.360 I don't fucking know,

00:27:12.980 but yeah,

00:27:14.600 I guess I just,

00:27:16.200 you know,

00:27:16.460 I think this place

00:27:17.100 got me feeling

00:27:17.640 kind of emotional

00:27:18.280 because my mom

00:27:18.960 went to college here

00:27:19.860 and,

00:27:20.460 you know,

00:27:20.540 she went to law school,

00:27:22.580 you know,

00:27:22.880 she did stuff like that

00:27:23.960 and then she had four kids

00:27:27.180 and she couldn't like,

00:27:29.020 you know,

00:27:29.300 she probably couldn't use

00:27:30.240 a lot of her dreams

00:27:31.080 and abilities

00:27:31.660 that she wanted to

00:27:32.380 because she had to raise

00:27:33.220 her kids,

00:27:34.300 you know,

00:27:35.820 so I guess I feel,

00:27:37.120 I guess I feel,

00:27:40.480 I don't feel like

00:27:41.060 responsible that

00:27:42.060 she didn't get to like

00:27:42.940 do some of the things

00:27:43.680 she wanted to do

00:27:44.360 but I feel,

00:27:46.540 um,

00:27:53.780 damn,

00:27:54.320 I'm sitting here,

00:27:54.780 I guess I feel like,

00:27:59.680 I don't feel like ashamed,

00:28:02.340 I guess I feel like,

00:28:03.660 you know,

00:28:08.040 I feel like she sacrificed

00:28:09.120 for me so

00:28:10.060 I want to be able

00:28:11.920 to,

00:28:14.520 you know,

00:28:17.540 just like not let her down,

00:28:20.160 you know,

00:28:20.740 so,

00:28:22.380 so yeah,

00:28:25.400 I'm just bummed

00:28:25.960 because I

00:28:26.300 didn't get to drive

00:28:28.560 over there

00:28:28.940 and see the college

00:28:29.780 because,

00:28:30.280 and it's only 20 minutes away

00:28:31.460 and I've never even

00:28:31.980 been around here before,

00:28:32.900 and I wanted to go

00:28:34.760 so I just,

00:28:35.960 I don't know man,

00:28:36.920 shit fuck,

00:28:39.960 I'm just not doing that well,

00:28:41.320 I mean I'm doing well,

00:28:42.380 you know,

00:28:42.640 I just have like a lot

00:28:43.480 of my mind

00:28:44.020 and like a lot

00:28:44.600 of my heart,

00:28:46.980 so,

00:28:49.280 and then I just,

00:28:51.940 you know,

00:28:52.420 I just like,

00:28:52.900 when I get stressed out

00:28:53.800 and stuff,

00:28:54.120 I don't handle it that well,

00:28:55.220 you know,

00:28:55.400 I don't,

00:28:55.660 I don't take care of myself

00:28:57.140 super good,

00:28:58.440 you know,

00:29:00.220 so I come home last night

00:29:01.580 and you know,

00:29:03.160 next thing you know,

00:29:03.800 I'm like,

00:29:06.400 you know,

00:29:06.760 I'm just,

00:29:07.160 I'm just,

00:29:09.300 like I don't know

00:29:10.220 if I'm like disappointed,

00:29:11.220 I don't know what I am,

00:29:12.840 but then I'll like,

00:29:13.980 you know,

00:29:14.180 I get into the dark arts,

00:29:15.360 man,

00:29:15.480 I'll do,

00:29:15.920 you know,

00:29:16.200 I do,

00:29:17.100 you know,

00:29:19.600 I do masturbation

00:29:20.760 or whatever,

00:29:21.360 you know,

00:29:21.580 I'm out there jerking out,

00:29:23.320 you know,

00:29:25.220 and it's just like,

00:29:26.220 and then I just feel like

00:29:27.160 just such a failure,

00:29:28.040 you know,

00:29:29.620 dude,

00:29:29.900 there's nothing sadder,

00:29:30.760 bro,

00:29:30.860 when you're a dude

00:29:31.520 and you just fucking jerked off

00:29:32.720 and you didn't want to,

00:29:34.640 damn,

00:29:35.500 bro,

00:29:36.740 that shit will make you feel,

00:29:38.760 make you feel kind of weak sometimes,

00:29:42.700 so,

00:29:44.060 but man,

00:29:44.980 so many great people came out,

00:29:46.480 I,

00:29:47.040 I don't even know

00:29:49.020 if I should put this episode out,

00:29:50.180 now I got myself all over the place,

00:29:51.760 man,

00:29:53.540 so many great people,

00:29:54.700 great people came out,

00:29:56.380 we had fun,

00:29:57.100 you know,

00:29:58.360 we really had fun,

00:29:59.500 let's get to a couple calls,

00:30:01.980 some calls came in,

00:30:02.920 videos came in,

00:30:04.020 dude,

00:30:04.680 a lot of stuff came in,

00:30:06.800 but thank you to everybody

00:30:07.820 that came out in Raleigh,

00:30:09.500 Raleigh,

00:30:10.420 Raleigh,

00:30:11.700 Raleigh,

00:30:13.260 you know,

00:30:16.300 just thank you to everybody

00:30:16.980 that came out,

00:30:17.540 man,

00:30:17.720 I appreciate the support,

00:30:19.860 you know,

00:30:20.300 man,

00:30:20.560 I saw,

00:30:21.760 trying to go through

00:30:22.500 some of the people

00:30:23.100 that came out,

00:30:24.100 but we went and saw

00:30:25.660 the Andy Griffith statue

00:30:26.640 at Pullman Park,

00:30:27.540 that's one thing

00:30:28.100 I was trying to remember,

00:30:30.120 because I love Andy Griffith,

00:30:32.600 and,

00:30:33.620 and I'm just saying,

00:30:34.640 one of the things

00:30:35.080 that makes me mad sometimes,

00:30:36.500 and I say this kind of shit

00:30:37.420 about Hollywood,

00:30:38.020 but they don't,

00:30:38.720 where's the storytellers at,

00:30:40.920 you know what I'm saying,

00:30:42.400 Hollywood will come to,

00:30:43.560 you know,

00:30:44.060 Atlanta,

00:30:44.640 and they'll come to these

00:30:45.220 different cities in New Orleans,

00:30:46.460 and,

00:30:46.900 you know,

00:30:47.240 to make these easy-ass shows,

00:30:50.000 you know,

00:30:50.400 to take advantage of,

00:30:51.460 you know,

00:30:53.120 you know,

00:30:53.660 to,

00:30:53.960 to,

00:30:54.620 to get,

00:30:55.720 you know,

00:30:56.100 the best parts of us,

00:30:58.340 but yeah,

00:30:58.780 they're not putting any of the

00:30:59.900 storytellers out there

00:31:00.820 on the stages,

00:31:02.200 half the people I know,

00:31:06.200 in the South,

00:31:07.820 in the Midwest,

00:31:08.460 in any small town,

00:31:09.560 I'm not just being specific,

00:31:10.920 dude,

00:31:11.080 I'm not a redneck,

00:31:12.160 people,

00:31:12.580 Sam,

00:31:12.800 I'm not a fucking redneck,

00:31:14.100 dude,

00:31:14.240 I never had any of that shit,

00:31:16.180 you know what I'm saying,

00:31:19.200 that's,

00:31:19.540 but I'm,

00:31:19.940 I'm just from a,

00:31:20.840 I'm just from a poor place,

00:31:22.160 I'm from a regular place,

00:31:23.620 and everybody doesn't know,

00:31:25.460 their uncle,

00:31:26.280 or their grandfather,

00:31:27.120 or their great uncle,

00:31:27.800 could be one of the best

00:31:29.160 storytellers of all time,

00:31:31.060 so sometimes I guess,

00:31:34.400 you know,

00:31:34.620 what I was saying about,

00:31:35.400 that makes me mad sometimes about,

00:31:37.740 or I'm saying choose,

00:31:38.800 you know,

00:31:39.180 find where your entertainment is best,

00:31:41.360 is I get mad that,

00:31:42.800 I know that there's,

00:31:44.100 you know,

00:31:44.300 I'm on the road,

00:31:44.860 and I hear people start telling stories,

00:31:46.300 and I'm like,

00:31:46.840 damn man,

00:31:47.560 can I have,

00:31:48.160 can I have an element of that story,

00:31:50.940 this is the greatest story,

00:31:52.080 I've ever heard,

00:31:53.320 but instead I gotta listen to some,

00:31:55.280 you know,

00:31:55.980 late night joke writer,

00:31:57.340 that somebody's trying to turn into a,

00:31:59.240 you know,

00:32:00.040 who don't have any fucking,

00:32:01.500 who's never lived through anything,

00:32:03.100 and I gotta listen to this motherfucker,

00:32:06.140 you know,

00:32:06.660 for 20 years,

00:32:08.480 you're telling me,

00:32:09.220 you can't find somebody from,

00:32:10.600 a rural part of America,

00:32:12.800 who can entertain people,

00:32:18.100 you know,

00:32:21.260 there's tons,

00:32:22.200 there's tons of them out there,

00:32:24.680 and so that's what I'm saying,

00:32:26.180 as,

00:32:26.360 as,

00:32:26.700 as audience members,

00:32:27.820 as people,

00:32:28.700 we need,

00:32:29.160 we gotta find,

00:32:30.420 you know,

00:32:31.520 if we take what they give us all the time,

00:32:34.440 if we take that just,

00:32:35.660 you know,

00:32:37.380 then that's where we're gonna be,

00:32:38.760 I don't know,

00:32:40.680 and now I'm fucking preaching again,

00:32:42.080 I'm sorry,

00:32:43.440 I'm fucking sorry dude,

00:32:44.840 I'm sitting here in my underpants bro,

00:32:45.960 a little while ago,

00:32:46.580 I got teared up,

00:32:47.420 you ever find yourself getting teared up,

00:32:48.560 and next thing you know,

00:32:49.020 you wipe,

00:32:49.500 I'm literally wiping my eyes,

00:32:51.280 with a dirty pair of socks,

00:32:52.940 that was fucking in the room,

00:32:57.060 dude,

00:32:57.360 you ever do that shit,

00:32:58.160 you find yourself,

00:32:58.820 if you get on the phone,

00:32:59.660 you get caught up,

00:33:00.540 and next thing you know,

00:33:01.400 you look in your hand,

00:33:02.220 and you have like a fucking stapler,

00:33:04.160 or a pack of cheese,

00:33:05.060 or something,

00:33:05.380 you're like,

00:33:05.660 what the fuck,

00:33:06.920 you get into that phone,

00:33:08.280 or that conversation zone,

00:33:10.020 that twilight zone,

00:33:11.060 and next thing you know,

00:33:11.660 you come to,

00:33:12.360 when you got,

00:33:13.260 you know,

00:33:13.960 you got a couple of hot skittles in your hand,

00:33:16.000 and you're like,

00:33:16.380 what the fuck,

00:33:17.160 I don't even eat candy,

00:33:20.100 but yeah man,

00:33:21.460 there's a lot of magic,

00:33:22.420 in some of these areas,

00:33:23.340 there's a lot of magic,

00:33:24.220 in places like this,

00:33:25.040 in Raleigh,

00:33:26.840 and,

00:33:27.360 in Raleigh,

00:33:29.380 reminds me of Raleigh,

00:33:30.360 Coleman,

00:33:30.920 my,

00:33:32.040 one of my assistant principals,

00:33:33.720 man,

00:33:33.900 who had a jerry curl,

00:33:35.020 and I'll say this right now,

00:33:37.260 you know,

00:33:37.580 he had some African American fans,

00:33:39.540 that came out,

00:33:40.120 some,

00:33:40.460 you know,

00:33:40.820 some black fans,

00:33:42.200 that came out this week,

00:33:43.660 and I'll say this,

00:33:45.140 one of my young bucks,

00:33:46.400 came out this dude,

00:33:47.200 had a pick,

00:33:47.860 he had that afro,

00:33:49.160 and I said,

00:33:49.580 look man,

00:33:50.020 you grow a jerry curl,

00:33:51.460 you can open for me,

00:33:53.040 for the rest of your life,

00:33:56.000 you know,

00:33:56.740 when I'm close to you,

00:33:58.600 you can open for me,

00:34:00.200 for the rest of your life,

00:34:01.480 man,

00:34:02.320 because I don't see why people,

00:34:03.960 don't grow the jerry curl,

00:34:06.580 how,

00:34:07.160 dude,

00:34:07.660 Raleigh,

00:34:08.320 Coleman,

00:34:08.720 so he had that jay curl boy,

00:34:10.260 and he'd sleep in the trunk,

00:34:11.380 of his car,

00:34:13.020 at recess,

00:34:14.440 man,

00:34:15.380 and he was the vice preezy,

00:34:17.560 and that dude would just cut off,

00:34:19.940 and get him a little,

00:34:20.920 he'd have a little,

00:34:21.640 you know,

00:34:22.420 split him up a little sandwich,

00:34:24.040 a little cuts of ham,

00:34:25.120 or something,

00:34:26.340 you know,

00:34:26.580 maybe a little thing of Del Monte,

00:34:28.220 a can,

00:34:29.420 now they got all these snack packs,

00:34:31.280 and this and that,

00:34:32.580 oh,

00:34:32.840 you want the go-gurt,

00:34:34.120 squeeze go-gurt in your mouth,

00:34:36.020 you squeezing fucking,

00:34:37.440 packets of fucking,

00:34:38.900 dairy in your mouth,

00:34:40.120 dude,

00:34:40.300 what's wrong with you,

00:34:41.700 when I was young,

00:34:42.500 you had that can,

00:34:43.600 boy,

00:34:45.400 my mom used to send us to school,

00:34:46.860 with a can of fucking,

00:34:48.400 pears,

00:34:49.520 and no opener,

00:34:50.680 bitch,

00:34:51.220 you want lunch,

00:34:52.700 you're gonna have to earn it,

00:34:55.980 you know what I'm saying,

00:34:56.800 next thing you know,

00:34:57.340 I'm wandering around school,

00:34:59.180 by the welding area,

00:35:00.720 by the home economics,

00:35:02.060 you know,

00:35:02.740 I'm trying to get to know somebody,

00:35:04.340 just so I can feel my stomach,

00:35:07.540 now these kids got their snack packs,

00:35:10.720 nine different flavors,

00:35:14.040 what the fuck,

00:35:15.040 come on,

00:35:16.420 come on,

00:35:18.920 man,

00:35:19.360 but yeah,

00:35:22.920 I don't know man,

00:35:24.060 I guess I'm just frustrated,

00:35:26.180 and then I get home,

00:35:27.380 and next thing you know,

00:35:28.280 I'm just,

00:35:29.980 you know,

00:35:30.400 I just,

00:35:30.800 sometimes it makes me,

00:35:31.940 I get upset with myself,

00:35:33.100 because I don't have a lot of good processes,

00:35:36.020 like daily routines in my life right now,

00:35:37.940 because things have gotten pretty erratic,

00:35:40.300 I don't have a lot of daily routines,

00:35:44.680 right now,

00:35:45.840 usually I do,

00:35:47.060 and right,

00:35:47.440 just the past month really,

00:35:48.680 they've been slipping,

00:35:49.640 because it's just,

00:35:50.880 just a lot of on the go,

00:35:53.180 and,

00:35:53.560 and so it just makes me feel unsettled,

00:35:57.060 you know,

00:35:58.220 it's kind of like having roller skates on,

00:35:59.800 when you got your skates on,

00:36:00.840 you going around the rink,

00:36:01.740 it kind of makes sense,

00:36:03.100 but right now,

00:36:03.840 I feel like I'm still going around the rink,

00:36:05.200 but I don't have my skates on,

00:36:06.320 but I'm still going around the rink,

00:36:09.000 so it's weird,

00:36:11.040 because I'm still going,

00:36:12.660 but I don't have my skates,

00:36:14.920 you know,

00:36:15.280 so I just got to get my skates,

00:36:16.520 you know,

00:36:16.780 I just got to get my skates g'd up,

00:36:18.340 yeah,

00:36:20.840 let's cut a call or two,

00:36:21.840 man,

00:36:22.060 here's one that came in right here,

00:36:23.880 Hey Theo,

00:36:24.660 this is Brandon from Tennessee,

00:36:26.980 so,

00:36:28.500 I had a little car troubles,

00:36:30.480 and,

00:36:31.160 my bearing broke,

00:36:32.520 in the middle of a,

00:36:34.020 busy intersection,

00:36:36.100 just want to tell you about the,

00:36:37.340 the compassion this,

00:36:38.820 this guy had for me,

00:36:40.380 okay,

00:36:41.020 so you had a car broke in the busy intersection,

00:36:43.320 dude,

00:36:44.980 I'll tell you this,

00:36:46.000 one time I was in an automobile,

00:36:47.820 and it was my own,

00:36:48.560 and it was a Ford Escort,

00:36:49.880 bro,

00:36:50.280 and it didn't even have a passenger seat,

00:36:52.360 so I had that car,

00:36:53.900 if you came to pick somebody up,

00:36:55.120 and they got in,

00:36:56.060 in the passenger side,

00:36:57.600 they had to just walk directly into the back,

00:37:01.140 it was a four door Ford Escort,

00:37:02.900 boy,

00:37:03.120 the gray goose,

00:37:04.900 been in countless accidents,

00:37:06.760 dude,

00:37:07.760 you know what I'm saying,

00:37:08.280 if you had a nice car,

00:37:09.280 sometimes if I saw a rich person,

00:37:10.740 a nice car parked at night,

00:37:12.240 my car was all fucked up,

00:37:13.420 I just hit their fucking car,

00:37:14.860 boy,

00:37:15.200 to the hell,

00:37:16.580 fucking checkmate baby,

00:37:17.960 you know what I'm saying,

00:37:19.080 a little bit of headlight hockey daddy,

00:37:21.040 you know,

00:37:21.400 a little bit of smooch,

00:37:22.960 bro,

00:37:23.280 a little bit of panel fucking,

00:37:25.520 a little bit of side panel sex,

00:37:27.320 baby,

00:37:27.620 because I got nothing to lose,

00:37:29.580 this Ford Escort cost me $1,300,

00:37:31.900 baby,

00:37:32.360 baby,

00:37:32.660 and I keep the plates in the back seat,

00:37:39.160 but anyway,

00:37:40.580 what happened to me was,

00:37:41.280 one time my car ran out of gas,

00:37:42.680 because I've run out of gas countless times,

00:37:44.740 probably 30,

00:37:45.420 40 times,

00:37:46.000 because I didn't know that people didn't run out of gas,

00:37:48.260 and my car ran out of gas,

00:37:49.540 and then the next thing you know,

00:37:51.600 I'm listening to the football game,

00:37:56.320 so I need to get help,

00:37:57.820 because I need to get help to get the car out of the road,

00:37:59.900 but the game was at a crucial moment,

00:38:01.540 so I stayed there in a busy intersection,

00:38:03.880 dude,

00:38:04.300 and ruined people's lives,

00:38:06.100 for probably another 30 minutes,

00:38:08.260 bro,

00:38:08.440 I call sheer hellfire,

00:38:10.280 and that's just because them New Orleans Saints,

00:38:12.140 was doing all right,

00:38:13.560 and so I enjoyed that moment,

00:38:16.280 but go on,

00:38:17.620 when he saw that I was broke down,

00:38:19.820 he came out and helped,

00:38:20.740 and he let me borrow his jack,

00:38:23.000 and obviously,

00:38:25.200 my band was broke,

00:38:26.040 we couldn't get out of the road,

00:38:28.060 so cops came,

00:38:30.360 and they called a tow truck,

00:38:31.700 and you know,

00:38:32.900 money's been a little tired here lately,

00:38:34.160 so the tow truck was $175,

00:38:37.960 yeah,

00:38:38.760 tow truck,

00:38:39.460 and they're expensive,

00:38:41.020 man,

00:38:41.540 so you're there,

00:38:42.400 the tow truck shows up,

00:38:43.420 sorry,

00:38:43.680 I was on my phone too for a second,

00:38:45.140 but I gotta go,

00:38:46.780 the show's starting in four minutes,

00:38:48.380 and I'm gonna have to leave in a few minutes,

00:38:49.760 and then I'll try to come back,

00:38:50.800 and do a little bit more of the episode,

00:38:52.200 you guys won't know that,

00:38:53.140 because I'm just gonna,

00:38:54.520 you know,

00:38:55.220 it'll be all together by the time I post it,

00:38:57.100 but anyhow,

00:38:58.000 anyhow,

00:39:00.040 so you stranded out there,

00:39:01.180 you got this $175 tow thing,

00:39:03.140 and tow trucks,

00:39:04.000 you're charging too much,

00:39:04.940 you know that shit,

00:39:05.660 don't you,

00:39:06.880 you know it,

00:39:08.220 I mean,

00:39:08.840 you know it though,

00:39:09.560 right,

00:39:10.820 onward,

00:39:11.420 and this guy that I had just met,

00:39:16.200 he walks back to his truck,

00:39:19.440 comes back up to me,

00:39:20.560 and he has a water cash in his hand,

00:39:22.600 he puts it in my hand,

00:39:23.420 gives me a hug,

00:39:25.020 and he's like,

00:39:25.440 man,

00:39:25.660 it's your lucky day,

00:39:26.980 he gave me $180,

00:39:28.820 paid for his tow truck,

00:39:30.840 and now it just really resonated with me,

00:39:33.140 man,

00:39:33.500 like,

00:39:34.680 just the kindness of that guy,

00:39:37.840 that's this stranger,

00:39:39.420 so,

00:39:39.820 I don't know,

00:39:41.100 I just wanted to share my story,

00:39:43.440 and it really got me thinking,

00:39:46.680 how I'm gonna have to pay that forward,

00:39:48.340 and how I just wanna spread kindness,

00:39:50.800 and love to a lot of other people,

00:39:53.100 you know,

00:39:53.940 that doesn't happen every day,

00:39:55.640 and there's still good people in this world,

00:39:57.820 anyway,

00:39:58.380 man,

00:39:58.780 I'm gonna come see you in Nashville,

00:40:01.140 I love you man,

00:40:01.760 thanks man,

00:40:03.500 I appreciate you telling me that story,

00:40:05.220 you know,

00:40:06.020 man,

00:40:06.260 that story made me feel good,

00:40:08.160 you know,

00:40:08.400 that man went and got a wad of cash,

00:40:10.000 and came back and gave it to you,

00:40:11.320 180,

00:40:13.240 you know,

00:40:13.860 and he didn't leave you at 175,

00:40:15.780 he just,

00:40:16.300 you know,

00:40:17.660 he knew there might be tax,

00:40:18.960 he knew there might be a little wiggle room,

00:40:20.840 maybe you get you a little soda after,

00:40:23.380 you know,

00:40:23.700 maybe you get over there,

00:40:24.540 and get you a little pineapple soda,

00:40:25.860 if they're selling something,

00:40:26.720 at the tow truck place,

00:40:28.280 or whatever,

00:40:28.880 because you know,

00:40:29.280 those motherfuckers sell some weird shit,

00:40:30.940 at tow truck places,

00:40:32.720 do come out,

00:40:33.380 have a fucking cherry cheesecake,

00:40:34.980 bitch,

00:40:35.260 y'all doing towing,

00:40:37.880 now you got these $3 fucking hits,

00:40:39.640 of fucking cheesecake,

00:40:40.840 what y'all doing,

00:40:42.160 selling pineapple sodas out here,

00:40:45.200 making you weird,

00:40:45.960 at a tow truck facility,

00:40:48.260 but man,

00:40:49.080 that's crucial,

00:40:50.520 you know,

00:40:50.760 you had a crucial moment there,

00:40:51.800 where somebody made you feel good,

00:40:53.020 and now here's the challenge,

00:40:54.180 I find,

00:40:54.760 for me,

00:40:55.320 here's my challenge,

00:40:57.100 here's my,

00:40:57.420 here's,

00:40:57.680 or here's the challenge for me,

00:40:59.440 somebody does something good for me,

00:41:01.020 and I say,

00:41:01.720 oh man,

00:41:02.000 I'm gonna do something for somebody else,

00:41:03.800 and then you know what,

00:41:05.120 I go right back to being who I was,

00:41:08.000 I go right back to forgetting,

00:41:12.500 I go,

00:41:12.840 you know,

00:41:12.960 my faith falls apart,

00:41:14.160 my faith even in just that,

00:41:15.340 I'm gonna be that different person,

00:41:18.860 and so we gotta practice it man,

00:41:20.980 we gotta practice it,

00:41:22.060 whatever it is,

00:41:23.080 you know,

00:41:23.340 they say faith without works is dead,

00:41:26.320 and it's true,

00:41:27.680 you know,

00:41:29.020 and I think maybe that's a,

00:41:30.140 and you know,

00:41:30.660 not to bring it back to me,

00:41:31.620 but that's something that I've been feeling,

00:41:32.800 it's just so funny you call about this,

00:41:34.280 because I just feel like,

00:41:36.080 you know,

00:41:36.320 I have my faith,

00:41:37.080 but I'm just not working it as much,

00:41:39.240 and that doesn't mean,

00:41:40.340 it doesn't just mean a faith in a higher power,

00:41:42.600 but that means a faith in anything,

00:41:44.720 a faith in myself,

00:41:45.960 a faith in,

00:41:46.640 you know,

00:41:47.000 my morning practices,

00:41:48.240 my morning routines,

00:41:49.160 a faith in that my behavior is gonna be consistent,

00:41:51.820 if I don't work it,

00:41:54.000 it is not gonna be that way,

00:41:56.460 but man,

00:41:57.240 it sounds like,

00:41:57.940 not only did he give you $180,

00:42:00.020 but he gave you,

00:42:02.180 he gave you,

00:42:06.560 an idea,

00:42:08.560 he gave you a hope,

00:42:10.100 he gave you something,

00:42:11.860 that can grow,

00:42:14.500 you know,

00:42:15.060 he gave you a,

00:42:19.340 man,

00:42:19.680 it feels good,

00:42:20.440 man,

00:42:20.580 you know what's crazy about doing something good for somebody,

00:42:23.280 you telling me that story right there,

00:42:25.040 that story made me feel good,

00:42:28.460 that story made me feel good,

00:42:31.700 and it didn't even happen to me,

00:42:35.780 I mean,

00:42:36.040 that's the,

00:42:36.560 that's powerful,

00:42:38.280 and I don't just say the shit's powerful,

00:42:39.960 I can feel it,

00:42:41.620 you don't just feel shit that isn't real,

00:42:43.380 you know,

00:42:47.040 so,

00:42:48.080 on a very emotional episode of this past weekend,

00:42:51.680 thank you for calling though,

00:42:52.720 man,

00:42:52.880 and putting that out there,

00:42:54.740 $180,

00:42:55.800 that's a lot,

00:42:57.500 you know,

00:42:57.800 it's a lot,

00:42:58.460 dude,

00:42:59.420 that's like,

00:43:00.680 three hours of sleep in this hotel room,

00:43:03.300 man,

00:43:03.620 dude,

00:43:03.840 this fucking thing,

00:43:04.760 bro,

00:43:05.700 they got a clock over there,

00:43:07.140 I don't,

00:43:07.300 you know,

00:43:07.540 it's not even set on regular time,

00:43:09.040 they have one clock on regular time,

00:43:10.720 and another clock on a different fucking time,

00:43:13.720 and that's when you know it's a fancy hotel room,

00:43:16.280 when they got one clock,

00:43:17.540 shows you what time it is,

00:43:18.540 and another clock just doing its own fucking thing,

00:43:22.020 you know what I'm saying,

00:43:23.840 it's 730 in the evening right now,

00:43:26.000 it's 731,

00:43:27.320 and then they got a clock over there,

00:43:29.500 says it's 11 a.m.,

00:43:31.240 that bitch is fucking on vacation,

00:43:33.880 and that's when you know the hotel room is nice,

00:43:37.800 they got four different kinds of soap in there,

00:43:40.420 one of them for your face,

00:43:42.800 bruh,

00:43:43.640 and one of them's for your body,

00:43:46.000 what,

00:43:47.200 you telling me these motherfuckers can't work together,

00:43:51.480 damn,

00:43:52.520 you know it's expensive hotel room,

00:43:54.460 when they got soap beef,

00:43:57.420 they out in the fucking sud streets,

00:43:59.940 these bitches can't get along,

00:44:02.440 they out here spitting bars,

00:44:03.820 bruh,

00:44:04.140 diss tracks,

00:44:04.880 dropping bars,

00:44:06.000 bars,

00:44:06.980 they got them dirty bars,

00:44:09.000 and they are bars,

00:44:11.360 bitch,

00:44:11.700 y'all are soaps,

00:44:12.520 okay,

00:44:13.300 face,

00:44:13.940 fucking shoulders,

00:44:15.000 whatever,

00:44:16.240 you know what I'm saying,

00:44:17.520 get it together,

00:44:19.380 y'all need to team up and work together,

00:44:21.440 man,

00:44:21.620 life is too short,

00:44:23.400 for one of y'all to be doing above the neck,

00:44:25.760 and one of y'all below,

00:44:28.820 and one of y'all doing only behind,

00:44:31.160 you know,

00:44:31.480 leg soap,

00:44:32.360 what's next,

00:44:33.200 huh,

00:44:34.300 what's next,

00:44:35.200 leg soap,

00:44:36.960 what is next,

00:44:39.200 that fucking little elbow special bar,

00:44:42.620 team up and work together,

00:44:44.200 man,

00:44:44.460 that's the kind of shit you get in these fancy hotel rooms,

00:44:47.880 you know,

00:44:48.780 too much,

00:44:49.700 it's too much,

00:44:53.660 all right,

00:44:55.300 I gotta go do this comedy set,

00:44:56.760 and I'll be back,

00:44:57.760 in just a little bit,

00:44:59.260 man,

00:44:59.820 you won't know it,

00:45:00.940 because you guys are just listening,

00:45:02.480 you know,

00:45:02.840 you won't know it,

00:45:03.480 but I'll know it,

00:45:04.360 I'm gonna go get in the car and drive over there,

00:45:05.860 then I'll come back and finish up this episode,

00:45:07.800 I love you,

00:45:08.780 all right,

00:45:09.980 and I don't know why I'm telling you that,

00:45:11.720 but just in case something happens to me,

00:45:13.180 or it's not gonna,

00:45:13.920 but,

00:45:14.560 you know,

00:45:14.800 I gotta drive over there,

00:45:15.660 and I am in a fucking Miata,

00:45:17.760 or not,

00:45:18.080 no,

00:45:18.260 I'm like in a Ford,

00:45:19.440 Ford Fiagra or something,

00:45:22.260 I don't know,

00:45:23.060 this thing,

00:45:25.120 mmm,

00:45:25.400 you can feel the car being scared about hitting a bump when you're driving it,

00:45:29.100 that's how little this little rental is,

00:45:31.280 but,

00:45:31.760 I'll talk to you in a few minutes,

00:45:33.340 today's episode is also brought to you by Go Ya Ya's,

00:45:38.660 crepes and coffee,

00:45:40.400 and that is a local establishment down there in Baton Rouge, Louisiana,

00:45:44.740 Go Ya Ya's is a beautiful place,

00:45:46.840 they have crepes and coffee,

00:45:48.620 think about a crepe,

00:45:49.920 now think about yourself,

00:45:51.860 man,

00:45:52.620 come on,

00:45:53.720 that'd be a beautiful relationship,

00:45:55.260 wouldn't it,

00:45:56.480 Go Go Ya Ya's,

00:45:58.640 excuse me,

00:45:59.160 is just five minutes from LSU,

00:46:01.460 they're serving breakfast and lunch,

00:46:03.380 they have sweet crepes,

00:46:05.240 they have breakfast crepes,

00:46:07.480 bacon,

00:46:07.760 egg,

00:46:08.000 and cheese crepes,

00:46:09.540 chorizo,

00:46:10.280 and eggs,

00:46:11.020 with that salsa verde,

00:46:13.820 yeah,

00:46:14.820 they got lunch,

00:46:15.800 California turkey club with avocado,

00:46:19.000 is that a crepe in your pants,

00:46:21.340 or you just happy to summer,

00:46:25.100 they're open Monday to Friday,

00:46:26.520 7 a.m. to 1.30 p.m.,

00:46:28.140 only in Baton Rouge,

00:46:30.060 Louisiana,

00:46:30.680 downtown,

00:46:31.420 501 Main Street,

00:46:33.400 Go Ya Ya's,

00:46:34.380 crepes and coffee,

00:46:35.780 open for lunch and breakfast,

00:46:39.360 and other meals,

00:46:40.140 get that hitter.

00:46:42.000 All right guys,

00:46:43.220 and I'm back,

00:46:43.840 so,

00:46:47.440 I had a great time at the show,

00:46:50.080 we just went and got it done,

00:46:51.900 and I want to thank everybody else that came out,

00:46:54.220 I got to show you guys this,

00:46:55.480 man,

00:46:55.580 I didn't even tell you some of the things,

00:46:57.800 well first,

00:46:59.800 I got to tell you this,

00:47:00.660 man,

00:47:00.900 you know,

00:47:01.260 and I talked about it briefly,

00:47:02.320 I did like a preface at the beginning of this episode,

00:47:04.980 like I left my,

00:47:06.240 you know,

00:47:08.500 because I just,

00:47:09.740 I've been feeling kind of strange,

00:47:11.080 man,

00:47:11.920 you know,

00:47:12.200 and part of it is,

00:47:13.480 you know,

00:47:14.020 part of it is a lot going on,

00:47:15.880 and at the same time,

00:47:16.980 part of it is,

00:47:17.700 that I left my medicine in Los Angeles,

00:47:22.760 and I take medication,

00:47:24.760 you know,

00:47:25.000 I take a light dose of antidepressants,

00:47:28.520 and,

00:47:29.440 and I left them in LA,

00:47:31.860 and that was on Thursday,

00:47:34.100 so I didn't take them on Thursday,

00:47:35.460 didn't take them on Friday,

00:47:37.140 didn't take them on Saturday,

00:47:40.840 no,

00:47:41.180 I came here Friday,

00:47:41.960 so anyway,

00:47:42.400 whatever,

00:47:42.760 today's Sunday,

00:47:44.000 so today's that third day,

00:47:45.960 and I'm just not feeling,

00:47:48.500 you know,

00:47:48.780 I'm just feeling a little more emo,

00:47:50.800 nemo,

00:47:51.380 you know,

00:47:51.640 I'm just feeling a little,

00:47:53.280 I got them Bambi,

00:47:54.420 I got a little bit of Bambi legs in my,

00:47:56.100 in my soul,

00:47:56.940 I got them Bambi legs,

00:47:58.080 baby,

00:47:58.260 I got them,

00:47:59.160 you know,

00:47:59.400 Bambi had legs,

00:48:00.320 just like those,

00:48:00.920 just like,

00:48:01.820 you know,

00:48:02.200 like those fresh harp strings,

00:48:04.380 you know,

00:48:04.720 just uncertain,

00:48:06.100 just like those fresh,

00:48:07.400 you know,

00:48:07.840 like them,

00:48:08.300 just like those fresh violin strings,

00:48:10.540 like if suddenly somebody added two new strings to the violin,

00:48:13.340 even the strings would be like,

00:48:16.400 oh fuck,

00:48:17.140 what do we do,

00:48:18.160 you know,

00:48:19.500 and,

00:48:19.920 and so,

00:48:20.980 you know,

00:48:21.200 you got those Bambi legs,

00:48:22.600 you know,

00:48:23.800 the shaky makers,

00:48:25.300 and so that's kind of how I'm feeling,

00:48:27.380 you know,

00:48:27.740 I just feel a little bit shaky,

00:48:28.920 and I'm already kind of a little bit of like a,

00:48:30.420 oh sorry,

00:48:31.380 the email's on,

00:48:32.300 I'm already kind of a little bit of like a emo,

00:48:34.100 nemo,

00:48:35.480 and you know,

00:48:37.660 I'm always kind of swimming in my feelings a little bit,

00:48:39.640 and I'm fine with that,

00:48:41.540 you know,

00:48:42.280 I don't fear my feelings,

00:48:44.380 in fact,

00:48:44.820 I welcome them,

00:48:46.180 but,

00:48:46.660 but you know,

00:48:48.140 sometimes I get,

00:48:49.380 you know,

00:48:49.700 when I'm not,

00:48:50.200 when I don't,

00:48:50.680 when I haven't taken my medicine over a period of time,

00:48:52.480 it makes me feel,

00:48:53.680 you know,

00:48:54.060 it just,

00:48:54.960 it's a change,

00:48:56.340 and so,

00:48:57.240 I'm still fine,

00:48:58.420 but you know how it is,

00:48:59.540 makes you feel a little bit,

00:49:01.860 yeah,

00:49:02.580 just,

00:49:03.240 it makes me feel a little unsure of myself,

00:49:06.640 so,

00:49:08.500 anyhow,

00:49:09.260 it's not like a disclaimer or anything really,

00:49:11.340 but I just,

00:49:12.980 yeah,

00:49:13.940 I'm just feeling exhausted too,

00:49:15.940 you know,

00:49:16.180 I just feel really,

00:49:17.020 really exhausted,

00:49:17.940 it's just been a long couple of weeks,

00:49:19.540 but going to China,

00:49:20.360 coming back,

00:49:21.600 you know,

00:49:21.840 I haven't been eating much,

00:49:23.280 you know,

00:49:23.480 people say you're getting skinny,

00:49:24.980 and there's nothing wrong with me,

00:49:27.760 I just haven't been,

00:49:28.740 I haven't,

00:49:29.240 I've been working,

00:49:31.000 you know,

00:49:31.280 I've just been working a lot,

00:49:32.880 so I need to start taking a little bit better care of myself right now,

00:49:36.620 and,

00:49:37.000 and see what's going on with me,

00:49:39.880 and I'm going to do that,

00:49:41.400 and I'm going to start doing that,

00:49:42.600 I hate to say it,

00:49:43.360 but by,

00:49:44.480 just,

00:49:44.880 I'm going to cut this episode down,

00:49:46.260 you know,

00:49:46.740 I'm going to wish a happy birthday to my friend Bill,

00:49:50.000 and he turned 44,

00:49:52.460 and you know,

00:49:53.140 he got two daughters and a wife,

00:49:54.840 and they just got a female cat at the house,

00:49:57.600 so,

00:49:58.560 I mean,

00:49:58.940 he's fucked,

00:49:59.640 you know,

00:50:00.620 but,

00:50:01.320 but I'm glad to have friends like him,

00:50:03.920 you know,

00:50:04.060 I just had to call my brother,

00:50:05.160 and just kind of check in with some people,

00:50:07.040 after the show tonight,

00:50:08.080 I just,

00:50:09.120 I don't know,

00:50:10.040 I just need to get some rest,

00:50:11.920 you know,

00:50:12.640 we did have some cool videos that came in,

00:50:15.440 I'm going to,

00:50:15.860 I'm going to do one or two or three of those,

00:50:17.320 because I love those,

00:50:18.560 oh,

00:50:18.980 and I wanted to show you what somebody brought me,

00:50:20.700 people brought a lot of nice stuff,

00:50:22.120 you know,

00:50:22.800 the Harvard lady that called in,

00:50:24.320 that teacher,

00:50:24.880 the professor,

00:50:25.760 she brought me a nice book,

00:50:27.440 and I'm going to read that soon,

00:50:29.680 but somebody brought me these,

00:50:32.980 I'll put a picture on my Instagram as well,

00:50:35.120 straight up hamster skulls,

00:50:37.940 okay,

00:50:38.980 and a skull,

00:50:40.040 it's like a,

00:50:41.120 it's like the Lord put your brain in like a hard gift bag for the world,

00:50:45.600 it's like the Lord put your brain in like a hard to go sack,

00:50:50.040 and before the,

00:50:51.400 you know,

00:50:51.660 before he let it go out into the world,

00:50:53.200 and that's your skull,

00:50:54.980 and these are real,

00:50:57.360 um,

00:50:58.540 hampskulls,

00:50:59.720 and honestly to me,

00:51:00.760 they look like G-Pig skulls,

00:51:02.360 they look a little more G-Pig,

00:51:03.740 because these are,

00:51:04.660 um,

00:51:05.640 pretty grandiose looking,

00:51:07.280 but they have,

00:51:08.300 um,

00:51:08.820 tattooed,

00:51:09.740 they're,

00:51:10.100 they're branded up,

00:51:11.480 the skulls are,

00:51:12.880 one of them says onward,

00:51:14.400 and one of them says rat king,

00:51:17.360 and man,

00:51:18.040 look,

00:51:18.960 and look,

00:51:19.500 no pressure,

00:51:20.120 if anybody brings,

00:51:20.680 you don't have to compete with this guys,

00:51:22.160 you know,

00:51:23.440 people,

00:51:24.020 you know,

00:51:24.300 drop off different things sometimes,

00:51:25.760 and sometimes I give gifts to people that come out,

00:51:28.340 uh,

00:51:28.780 but man,

00:51:29.960 yeah man,

00:51:31.120 you telling me,

00:51:32.580 two G-Pigs out there had to give up their life,

00:51:35.000 so daddy could have these fucking wild hitters,

00:51:37.600 well that's what the Lord wants man,

00:51:40.660 that's what the Lord wants,

00:51:42.440 so,

00:51:44.140 but,

00:51:44.740 oh,

00:51:44.920 and they have stuff written inside of them,

00:51:48.300 what does this one say,

00:51:49.500 don't pet,

00:51:53.380 oh,

00:51:53.800 don't pet the playboy,

00:51:55.520 and then it says gang gang,

00:51:56.920 right around the,

00:51:57.940 wherever the spine would go into it,

00:51:59.500 damn boy,

00:52:00.200 this is the dark arts,

00:52:02.080 literally,

00:52:03.080 this is arts,

00:52:04.020 and speaking of the dark arts,

00:52:05.220 man,

00:52:05.320 I'm gonna play a video right now,

00:52:06.420 somebody's sending a video,

00:52:08.120 you know,

00:52:08.500 they're doing graffiti out there in the streets,

00:52:10.360 and let's take a video right now,

00:52:11.740 this is from Nick Smith,

00:52:13.500 and if you're watching on the YouTube,

00:52:14.860 you can see the video,

00:52:15.680 how's it going Theo,

00:52:19.660 we're out here at the graffiti wall,

00:52:21.580 just painted this guy,

00:52:24.400 out here practicing them dark arts,

00:52:26.480 gang,

00:52:27.200 sometimes the dark arts are good,

00:52:28.780 sometimes they're not,

00:52:29.580 but regardless,

00:52:30.580 we're out here,

00:52:31.100 we're doing what we can,

00:52:33.320 onward,

00:52:35.560 wow,

00:52:38.120 so this is graffiti,

00:52:39.180 look,

00:52:39.360 you guys can't see it,

00:52:40.580 somebody graffiti the whole side of a building,

00:52:42.440 and it says the dark arts,

00:52:46.320 and then it says onward,

00:52:48.880 2018,

00:52:50.320 that's Nessie,

00:52:51.120 N-E-S-Y,

00:52:52.740 and maybe I shouldn't have given the dude's name,

00:52:54.840 because I don't know if this is illegal or not,

00:52:56.160 but this looks like a nice business,

00:52:57.780 he said it's the graffiti wall,

00:52:59.000 and it's dark arts,

00:52:59.720 you can see it on YouTube,

00:53:00.640 and this is,

00:53:01.280 I'm not,

00:53:01.660 this,

00:53:02.400 it isn't a couple square feet,

00:53:04.120 this is about,

00:53:05.380 looks like about a 30 by 12 foot mural,

00:53:08.920 so,

00:53:10.260 gang gang,

00:53:11.000 baby,

00:53:11.280 get out there,

00:53:11.740 and it's classy work too,

00:53:13.500 I mean,

00:53:13.820 that is just real classy work,

00:53:15.300 that's something,

00:53:15.840 look,

00:53:16.720 if you could hang the whole side of a building,

00:53:18.360 on a refrigerator,

00:53:19.480 your mother would do just that,

00:53:20.840 Nick Smith,

00:53:21.780 so thank you for being out there,

00:53:23.720 and for doing that,

00:53:24.940 let's take,

00:53:25.700 we'll hit a couple more of these video lines,

00:53:27.680 man,

00:53:28.100 here we go,

00:53:29.000 onward,

00:53:29.960 hey,

00:53:30.260 what's up Theo,

00:53:30.860 it's Justin from New Jersey,

00:53:32.180 I've been a huge fan for a while,

00:53:35.320 I always used to think you were the,

00:53:36.780 most underrated comic,

00:53:38.880 in the world,

00:53:39.520 honestly,

00:53:39.980 but,

00:53:40.180 thanks Justin,

00:53:41.920 Matthews,

00:53:42.780 for the nice words,

00:53:45.140 man,

00:53:46.140 you know,

00:53:46.860 you know,

00:53:48.920 I'll say this about being underrated,

00:53:50.360 or feeling underrated,

00:53:52.560 it's,

00:53:53.220 there's a blessing there,

00:53:55.640 because you don't,

00:53:56.620 the expectations aren't there,

00:53:59.640 you know,

00:53:59.960 when nobody knows you,

00:54:02.100 the only person expecting anything out of you is you,

00:54:06.240 and some people are,

00:54:09.020 you know,

00:54:09.300 may have,

00:54:09.740 you know,

00:54:09.960 dreams or ambitions in their life,

00:54:11.600 and they're like,

00:54:11.980 man,

00:54:12.200 I'm not as known as I want to be,

00:54:13.560 or I don't have the platform that I want,

00:54:16.040 let's say that,

00:54:16.800 but man,

00:54:20.340 that is a beautiful place to be in,

00:54:23.240 because you can,

00:54:26.360 because you are in it,

00:54:27.840 you're doing,

00:54:28.340 you're working,

00:54:29.220 you're doing your work,

00:54:31.100 you're doing your work,

00:54:33.220 and,

00:54:34.040 and that's a beautiful place to be,

00:54:37.660 is doing your work,

00:54:38.940 because that's the only thing that's,

00:54:40.700 that's the only thing that means anything,

00:54:42.480 it really,

00:54:43.400 is your,

00:54:43.760 what are you doing,

00:54:44.900 what are you doing,

00:54:46.160 and not necessarily output,

00:54:47.420 but that could be emotional work,

00:54:49.060 connecting,

00:54:49.700 what are you doing,

00:54:51.360 are you doing your work,

00:54:53.820 so,

00:54:54.580 and then whenever you get to a place,

00:54:56.120 where you're ready for,

00:54:56.860 when the platform arrives,

00:54:58.280 you know,

00:54:58.500 when that boat arrives,

00:54:59.500 you want to be able to get into the boat,

00:55:02.380 if you never,

00:55:03.300 you don't know how,

00:55:04.020 you don't know how a boat works,

00:55:05.720 and you just stand in there staring at a boat,

00:55:08.560 because you're not boatable,

00:55:10.480 you don't have that boatability,

00:55:11.880 built into your,

00:55:12.660 into your system,

00:55:13.780 come on,

00:55:15.060 you're done,

00:55:16.340 you're just going to be a bank baby,

00:55:19.040 so,

00:55:19.400 so,

00:55:20.020 you know,

00:55:20.360 when you're waiting for that boat to arrive,

00:55:21.880 when you're,

00:55:22.160 you know,

00:55:22.440 you're hoping,

00:55:23.040 you're hoping for a platform,

00:55:24.200 you're hoping for,

00:55:25.320 you know,

00:55:26.280 you know,

00:55:27.700 whether it's an artwork,

00:55:29.240 or,

00:55:29.700 you know,

00:55:30.140 you like to speak,

00:55:31.040 or you like to perform,

00:55:32.380 or you like to,

00:55:33.720 you just want to be in love,

00:55:35.700 you know,

00:55:36.260 or you just want to be happy,

00:55:37.440 whatever those things are,

00:55:38.980 that you're building towards,

00:55:40.420 it's nice whenever nobody,

00:55:44.600 when you don't have that,

00:55:45.360 it's kind of nice when that boat isn't standing there waiting for you,

00:55:48.840 because then you got to produce,

00:55:50.700 then you got to do it,

00:55:51.580 you know,

00:55:51.780 you got to have,

00:55:52.620 then it's not,

00:55:53.260 you know,

00:55:55.000 or at least it feels like a pressure then,

00:55:57.060 and maybe that could be me too,

00:55:58.480 just feeling weird pressures,

00:55:59.480 I don't know what I'm talking about,

00:56:00.480 Justin,

00:56:00.880 onward,

00:56:01.220 let's hear more from you,

00:56:02.120 man,

00:56:02.220 and thank you for this video.

00:56:03.920 But I don't have to say that anymore,

00:56:05.180 because I think you're finally getting the recognition you deserve,

00:56:08.480 but my question is,

00:56:11.160 I'm a musician,

00:56:12.720 I've done 14 tours,

00:56:14.720 I'm on the road four or five months out of the year.

00:56:17.540 Wow,

00:56:18.760 that's a lot,

00:56:20.260 onward?

00:56:21.500 And,

00:56:21.940 I'm in the,

00:56:23.880 I'm in AA as well.

00:56:26.020 And,

00:56:26.800 thanks for sharing,

00:56:27.960 man,

00:56:28.120 I know it's,

00:56:28.860 you know,

00:56:29.720 it's not something that sometimes we share,

00:56:31.220 some people believe you shouldn't share if you're in AA.

00:56:35.120 And here's why,

00:56:36.060 and I'll say why,

00:56:36.800 and I understand it.

00:56:39.320 Don't share it,

00:56:40.160 because what if somebody hears you say,

00:56:41.700 and I'm not calling you out,

00:56:42.600 Justin,

00:56:42.860 I share it,

00:56:43.480 so,

00:56:44.340 you know,

00:56:45.580 people say,

00:56:47.080 well,

00:56:47.160 you shouldn't share that deal,

00:56:48.180 because what if somebody listens to you?

00:56:51.100 And they get into a program,

00:56:52.960 but then you decide the program isn't for you,

00:56:55.840 and you get out.

00:56:57.720 And now they think,

00:56:59.680 or what if somebody's thinking about getting into the program,

00:57:01.760 then they see that,

00:57:02.500 oh,

00:57:02.660 well,

00:57:02.900 he did,

00:57:03.200 the program didn't work for him,

00:57:04.680 or the,

00:57:04.980 or he got out,

00:57:05.980 I don't need to go now.

00:57:08.020 And,

00:57:08.380 and so,

00:57:09.820 and I understand that,

00:57:11.520 you know,

00:57:11.780 I'm a little fucked,

00:57:12.460 because I already said it.

00:57:13.820 So,

00:57:14.220 I got to,

00:57:14.560 you know,

00:57:14.760 I have to live here,

00:57:15.920 on the,

00:57:17.760 on the,

00:57:18.740 on the land of my words.

00:57:20.880 But onward,

00:57:21.800 Justin,

00:57:22.300 let's hear about your question.

00:57:23.640 Onward.

00:57:24.500 I'm in the,

00:57:25.260 I'm in AA as well.

00:57:27.320 And,

00:57:27.880 I wanted to know,

00:57:29.920 as an entertainer yourself,

00:57:32.220 how do you stay sober,

00:57:35.580 and,

00:57:36.260 you know,

00:57:36.800 stick to the 12 steps,

00:57:38.300 and stick to,

00:57:40.620 you know,

00:57:40.980 everything you've learned,

00:57:42.140 on the road,

00:57:42.960 especially being in clubs and stuff,

00:57:44.780 with alcohol,

00:57:45.440 because,

00:57:46.020 I'm doing the same thing.

00:57:47.920 I'm proud to say that I've done,

00:57:49.320 I think,

00:57:49.540 14 tours,

00:57:50.800 13 of them,

00:57:51.600 I was drunk the entire time,

00:57:52.820 but my last one I just did,

00:57:54.600 I stayed completely sober.

00:57:56.460 It wasn't easy.

00:57:58.940 I don't think I was doing it correctly.

00:58:01.200 I was kind of white knuckling it a bit.

00:58:02.960 But,

00:58:03.260 if you have any tips,

00:58:04.120 that'd be great.

00:58:04.700 Thank you.

00:58:07.100 Well,

00:58:07.440 you know what happened to me,

00:58:08.320 I'll just tell you tonight.

00:58:09.700 So,

00:58:10.000 tonight I was in a tough spot,

00:58:11.160 man.

00:58:11.240 I was in a tough spot,

00:58:11.880 when I started this podcast earlier.

00:58:13.280 I wasn't feeling good.

00:58:15.020 You know,

00:58:15.280 I just wasn't feeling good.

00:58:16.340 I mean,

00:58:16.520 you know,

00:58:16.740 I don't have my,

00:58:17.740 you know,

00:58:18.140 I don't have my antidepressant.

00:58:19.620 You know,

00:58:19.900 I'm on that LDZ,

00:58:20.960 baby.

00:58:21.140 I'm on that light dose.

00:58:22.620 But,

00:58:22.980 I didn't have it.

00:58:24.420 And,

00:58:24.680 you know,

00:58:25.160 but what I did was,

00:58:26.480 I ended up calling a friend of mine.

00:58:27.620 I called a friend,

00:58:28.280 who I met,

00:58:30.060 who I met through the program.

00:58:33.080 And,

00:58:33.300 we can talk about whatever.

00:58:35.400 You know,

00:58:35.740 I called my friend,

00:58:36.480 and we just,

00:58:36.940 we laughed.

00:58:37.920 We laughed about partying.

00:58:39.360 We laughed about his family.

00:58:41.500 We laughed about,

00:58:43.200 he told me one time,

00:58:44.600 he had missed his antidepressants,

00:58:46.300 and he was on the road,

00:58:47.520 and he was so fucking banked out about it,

00:58:50.280 he went to the emergency room,

00:58:52.540 okay?

00:58:53.560 And the people at the emergency room,

00:58:55.900 they charged him $1,200

00:58:57.900 for 10 pills.

00:59:03.780 Generic,

00:59:04.380 okay?

00:59:04.880 We're talking shit that would cost you $7,

00:59:07.400 usually.

00:59:09.080 So,

00:59:09.560 we laughed about that.

00:59:10.700 And so next,

00:59:11.200 and that's a friend I met through AA,

00:59:12.880 kind of,

00:59:13.580 you know,

00:59:13.980 who's in the program.

00:59:14.700 So next thing you know,

00:59:15.400 I have a friend,

00:59:16.880 and I don't feel alone.

00:59:20.000 Because for me,

00:59:20.600 a lot of times what it is,

00:59:21.360 is just some sort of loneliness

00:59:22.440 that,

00:59:22.900 you know,

00:59:23.100 starts to manifest

00:59:24.220 when I'm on the road.

00:59:27.180 So I keep in close contact.

00:59:28.840 For me,

00:59:29.300 fortunately,

00:59:29.960 people come out now

00:59:30.920 that are in the program.

00:59:32.360 You know,

00:59:32.540 a young man came today

00:59:33.660 and invited me to a meeting last night,

00:59:35.200 invited me to a meeting.

00:59:37.860 You know,

00:59:38.240 I went to a meeting,

00:59:39.700 the last city I was in,

00:59:41.080 we went to a meeting somewhere.

00:59:42.780 In Shanghai.

00:59:45.020 I've gone to some meetings

00:59:45.940 in other places.

00:59:46.740 So it's,

00:59:47.180 you know,

00:59:47.440 it's nice that you can,

00:59:48.860 you know,

00:59:49.120 that's one thing that I like about it.

00:59:50.880 Is now I'm not alone.

00:59:51.900 Maybe I have to say that sometimes.

00:59:53.560 Maybe I have to announce it sometimes

00:59:55.020 or say it,

00:59:55.440 because I need to save my fucking program.

00:59:58.600 You know,

00:59:59.060 but as for the steps,

00:59:59.980 man,

01:00:00.160 I don't know.

01:00:00.740 I haven't gone through the steps.

01:00:02.300 You know,

01:00:02.440 I'm not all the way through.

01:00:04.760 You know,

01:00:05.240 and I,

01:00:05.780 you know,

01:00:06.120 and so,

01:00:08.580 you know,

01:00:08.920 I don't know,

01:00:09.720 you know,

01:00:10.000 I don't know what,

01:00:10.780 I know some of the stuff

01:00:11.880 that keeps me from getting through

01:00:13.080 is fear,

01:00:14.740 you know,

01:00:15.020 not wanting to be fully honest

01:00:16.240 with myself,

01:00:16.900 probably about stuff,

01:00:17.820 probably fears that are hidden

01:00:18.840 inside of me

01:00:19.340 that I can't even access

01:00:20.400 or that I'm afraid to,

01:00:22.920 you know,

01:00:23.200 but my friends remind me a lot

01:00:24.320 that I need to

01:00:25.140 or they try and be supportive

01:00:26.400 and ask me about it.

01:00:28.420 But,

01:00:28.900 but yeah,

01:00:31.560 what do I do on the road?

01:00:32.580 I mean,

01:00:33.120 I stay busy.

01:00:35.580 You know,

01:00:36.020 and I still do.

01:00:36.600 I hit my knees in the morning

01:00:37.720 and I say the serenity prayer

01:00:39.700 and even if I don't remember it

01:00:41.280 for the rest of the day,

01:00:42.020 I know that it was there

01:00:42.680 with me in the beginning

01:00:43.420 and I don't put myself

01:00:46.000 in precarious situations.

01:00:48.820 You know,

01:00:49.140 I mean,

01:00:49.500 I know the tempts for,

01:00:50.620 the temptations for me sometimes

01:00:52.020 is,

01:00:53.000 you know,

01:00:53.540 I'll be okay

01:00:53.960 if a dude asks me

01:00:54.780 when to go party,

01:00:55.420 I'm okay.

01:00:56.440 But a wild woman shows up

01:00:58.160 or something with eight ball

01:00:59.120 and daddy might feel tempted.

01:01:01.840 You know,

01:01:02.480 and that's when the dark arts

01:01:03.680 just start spray painting

01:01:04.720 my fucking soul,

01:01:05.780 bro.

01:01:06.760 You know,

01:01:08.200 I got,

01:01:09.320 I got,

01:01:11.020 I got Picasso down deep,

01:01:13.980 you know,

01:01:14.160 I got that dirty Picasso

01:01:15.260 down deep in me,

01:01:16.440 dark art.

01:01:17.940 So,

01:01:18.460 I don't know if that answers

01:01:19.160 the question or not,

01:01:20.480 but I,

01:01:22.020 what I do do is

01:01:22.740 I keep in touch with friends

01:01:23.800 and I get texts constantly

01:01:26.020 and that's one of the reasons

01:01:27.380 why I just want to get home

01:01:28.200 and get back into my program again

01:01:30.020 so I have my fucking roller skates on

01:01:32.400 because otherwise

01:01:33.640 I'm just slipping around

01:01:34.680 on some slidey shoes,

01:01:36.180 bro.

01:01:37.360 And I,

01:01:37.800 that ain't me.

01:01:38.300 I need my wheels in a row.

01:01:39.640 But thank you for checking in,

01:01:41.220 Justin.

01:01:42.060 We're going to take one more video

01:01:43.340 that came here,

01:01:44.080 man,

01:01:44.340 and then I'm going to shut it down

01:01:45.340 for tonight.

01:01:45.900 Here we go.

01:01:47.420 Hi,

01:01:47.900 Theo.

01:01:48.360 This is Oscar.

01:01:49.320 Greetings from Dubai.

01:01:50.700 I'm a Swedish dude

01:01:51.580 living in Dubai.

01:01:53.020 Dang,

01:01:53.480 this is Oscar.

01:01:55.260 And Oscar,

01:01:56.220 we call it Oscar too.

01:01:57.980 And they,

01:01:58.300 some people say Oscar

01:01:59.160 and I like that.

01:02:01.560 Oh,

01:02:02.060 are you Terrence?

01:02:02.860 No,

01:02:03.240 I'm Terrence.

01:02:05.480 Are you Frank?

01:02:06.500 I'm F Frank,

01:02:07.640 baby.

01:02:08.200 You know?

01:02:09.740 Are you,

01:02:10.480 uh,

01:02:11.040 uh,

01:02:11.420 are you,

01:02:12.220 um,

01:02:13.220 uh,

01:02:14.520 are you Mark?

01:02:16.520 No,

01:02:16.780 I am.

01:02:17.440 You know what I'm saying?

01:02:22.600 You can switch your name up

01:02:23.500 and this ain't Oscar,

01:02:24.440 baby.

01:02:24.640 This is Oscar,

01:02:26.320 a Swedish man in Dubai.

01:02:27.860 So you're doing all sorts of things,

01:02:29.040 baby.

01:02:29.620 You're a fucking human buffet,

01:02:31.260 big boy.

01:02:32.420 Let's hear more.

01:02:33.280 Oscar,

01:02:33.720 thank you for calling.

01:02:34.900 Your podcast.

01:02:35.800 And I wanted to ask a question.

01:02:37.800 Uh,

01:02:38.040 I'm a public speaker

01:02:39.460 and I have a podcast

01:02:40.340 and I realized that

01:02:42.120 the best paid,

01:02:43.120 uh,

01:02:44.060 speakers are actually

01:02:45.160 the ones that are

01:02:46.540 including humor

01:02:48.100 in their speaking

01:02:49.920 and in their podcast.

01:02:51.360 Okay,

01:02:51.820 so the best paid speakers,

01:02:53.020 he's saying,

01:02:53.380 are the ones including humor

01:02:54.500 in their speaking

01:02:55.080 and their podcasts.

01:02:56.960 More Oscar?

01:02:58.140 I want to do that in my,

01:02:59.680 when I speak,

01:03:00.320 I want to be a little bit

01:03:01.120 more funnier.

01:03:01.660 So how can you

01:03:02.980 become more funnier

01:03:04.000 when I give my talks?

01:03:07.060 What any resources

01:03:08.780 to make,

01:03:10.720 to become more funnier?

01:03:12.900 And you should come

01:03:13.720 visit us in Dubai.

01:03:14.420 Check out this cool little.

01:03:16.120 Ooh,

01:03:17.060 do beach.

01:03:20.240 That is beautiful.

01:03:21.160 Thank you for showing me

01:03:21.680 that scenery

01:03:22.080 and if you can see the video,

01:03:23.220 Oscar is out there

01:03:24.060 by the beach

01:03:24.580 and he's standing

01:03:25.100 and they got a bus

01:03:25.720 going by in the background

01:03:26.620 and it also looks like

01:03:27.760 his car might be

01:03:28.420 broke down out there.

01:03:30.180 But, um,

01:03:30.780 how can you be funnier,

01:03:32.340 man?

01:03:32.520 You know what I,

01:03:33.120 what I try to keep tabs on

01:03:34.400 for me is I just see

01:03:36.380 when people,

01:03:37.060 when other,

01:03:37.380 when I make other people laugh

01:03:38.480 or when I make other people smile

01:03:40.220 or I make them feel,

01:03:42.380 you know,

01:03:42.760 they drop in,

01:03:43.720 they're listening,

01:03:44.500 they're paying attention.

01:03:46.140 Um,

01:03:47.280 dude,

01:03:47.840 to me,

01:03:48.220 Oscar,

01:03:48.360 you have a very nice,

01:03:50.200 uh,

01:03:51.060 you have a nice disposition.

01:03:52.600 You're Swedish,

01:03:53.560 bro.

01:03:54.160 So for a lot of people,

01:03:55.440 anything you even say

01:03:56.500 is going to be fun,

01:03:57.520 interesting or funny.

01:03:58.680 I mean,

01:03:59.300 even just your name,

01:04:00.460 you know,

01:04:01.200 I started laughing about your name.

01:04:02.720 I started clowning you

01:04:03.580 about your name

01:04:04.120 right out the gate

01:04:04.840 because to me in America,

01:04:06.640 that name is Oscar.

01:04:08.140 But when you say Oscar,

01:04:09.960 like damn boy,

01:04:12.300 you know what I'm saying?

01:04:13.280 Fucking first I was having soup

01:04:14.720 and now I'm having ratatouille.

01:04:16.820 You just fucking upgraded

01:04:18.240 my whole world

01:04:19.220 just with that little tilt of fucking,

01:04:21.860 that little tongue tilt you got.

01:04:23.460 and that's that natural Swedish build-in.

01:04:28.000 That's natural.

01:04:29.660 So dude,

01:04:30.080 you can talk about probably

01:04:31.140 very regular things,

01:04:33.460 very basic stuff

01:04:35.160 to people

01:04:36.560 that are not Swedish

01:04:38.440 is going to be funny

01:04:39.600 because,

01:04:41.000 you know,

01:04:41.800 you can think of yourself

01:04:42.560 as an instrument.

01:04:44.760 You know,

01:04:45.040 I noticed some people think

01:04:45.900 that it's funny,

01:04:46.400 you know,

01:04:46.660 a southern accent.

01:04:47.640 You can,

01:04:47.820 they say you can get away

01:04:48.620 with a lot of stuff

01:04:49.540 because you have a southern accent.

01:04:50.660 Well,

01:04:52.700 yeah,

01:04:54.940 okay.

01:04:56.000 If that's how you feel,

01:04:57.660 then that's my instrument maybe.

01:04:59.280 My voice,

01:04:59.860 whatever it is,

01:05:00.400 it's my instrument.

01:05:02.220 So,

01:05:02.940 I think you got a neat instrument,

01:05:04.560 man.

01:05:05.100 But I would pay attention

01:05:06.000 when you're talking to people

01:05:06.900 if people laugh,

01:05:07.800 if people find some joy.

01:05:09.420 And also,

01:05:10.220 the goal sometimes

01:05:10.920 isn't to tell a joke,

01:05:12.060 but the goal sometimes

01:05:12.980 is just to tell a story

01:05:14.220 and listen to the story

01:05:15.840 where people laugh.

01:05:17.940 And then you can go back

01:05:19.100 and make more jokes

01:05:19.940 in those places.

01:05:21.360 And those are just my thoughts,

01:05:22.540 Oscar.

01:05:22.920 I may not know what they,

01:05:24.380 for ook,

01:05:25.160 I'm talking mount.

01:05:30.420 But,

01:05:31.460 we'll get to some more

01:05:33.980 next week,

01:05:34.380 man.

01:05:34.500 Guys,

01:05:34.680 I'm sorry to shut it down,

01:05:35.560 but it's,

01:05:36.220 you know,

01:05:36.540 it's going to take me

01:05:37.220 another hour and a half

01:05:38.020 to put this thing together

01:05:39.040 and to send it back

01:05:39.920 to Los Angeles.

01:05:41.480 And then I have a flight

01:05:42.300 at 7 a.m.

01:05:43.520 And I got to return

01:05:44.420 this rental car.

01:05:45.140 And I know I'm complaining,

01:05:46.200 but my chest just feels tight

01:05:48.420 and I just got to rest.

01:05:49.720 You know,

01:05:49.980 I just need to rest.

01:05:51.000 And I'm grateful,

01:05:52.640 man.

01:05:52.780 So many great people

01:05:53.440 came out this week

01:05:54.100 and I wish I,

01:05:54.620 I can't even remember

01:05:55.300 all the kind people

01:05:56.020 that came out.

01:05:57.260 I mean,

01:05:57.520 I remember them,

01:05:58.180 but I just wish I knew

01:05:58.920 them all by name.

01:06:01.080 You know,

01:06:01.520 and it means a lot,

01:06:02.280 you know,

01:06:02.960 you know,

01:06:03.420 I see,

01:06:04.180 you know,

01:06:04.420 it just means a lot.

01:06:06.260 You know,

01:06:06.500 it means a lot

01:06:07.120 that I'm just able

01:06:09.260 to be a part

01:06:09.800 of something neat

01:06:10.460 and that we're making

01:06:11.360 people laugh.

01:06:12.620 And I,

01:06:13.040 you know,

01:06:13.320 I promise to just try

01:06:14.220 and keep doing my work,

01:06:15.240 you know,

01:06:16.260 to stay out

01:06:16.760 of the expectations

01:06:17.600 if I can.

01:06:18.260 I mean,

01:06:18.400 that's another thing.

01:06:19.100 I think I just got,

01:06:21.060 you know,

01:06:21.360 a lot of this is new to me

01:06:22.440 where people are coming out,

01:06:23.620 you know,

01:06:24.960 and you work hard

01:06:25.700 and you do the work

01:06:26.460 over the years

01:06:26.920 and you,

01:06:27.200 I don't know

01:06:28.440 if you ever think

01:06:29.060 it's going to,

01:06:30.100 you know,

01:06:31.460 pay off.

01:06:31.940 You always wish

01:06:32.380 you had more time

01:06:32.940 to prepare for anything,

01:06:34.740 you know,

01:06:37.360 but,

01:06:38.340 you know,

01:06:39.160 I know that my audience,

01:06:40.140 I know that people

01:06:40.720 that come out

01:06:41.320 and,

01:06:41.600 you know,

01:06:41.820 people that listen

01:06:42.580 to the podcast

01:06:43.160 and stuff,

01:06:43.580 I know that,

01:06:44.420 you know,

01:06:44.680 I never feel really judged.

01:06:46.520 You know,

01:06:46.900 I don't feel a lot

01:06:47.480 of judgment.

01:06:47.980 I feel a lot of,

01:06:49.080 you know,

01:06:51.540 support really.

01:06:53.080 And so,

01:06:54.020 you know,

01:06:54.400 I guess some of those

01:06:55.060 feelings inside of me

01:06:55.960 are just,

01:06:56.400 they're misguided.

01:06:57.700 They're not real.

01:06:59.380 You know,

01:07:00.120 some of those aren't real

01:07:01.100 and some of those

01:07:02.600 are just fears

01:07:03.240 and some of them,

01:07:04.120 some of them are

01:07:04.620 because I haven't had

01:07:05.280 my medicine in three days.

01:07:07.900 And so,

01:07:08.620 those things

01:07:09.120 are way easier

01:07:10.260 to creep up

01:07:10.820 into my system

01:07:11.500 and into my,

01:07:12.900 into the natural foreground

01:07:15.060 of my mental habitat.

01:07:18.060 But,

01:07:18.520 but again,

01:07:19.320 today's episode

01:07:19.840 brought to you

01:07:20.260 by Gray Block Pizza.

01:07:21.260 Today's episode

01:07:21.900 brought to you

01:07:22.380 by Beard Brand.

01:07:24.160 And we got that

01:07:24.920 free sea salt spray

01:07:26.380 and we'll put

01:07:27.500 that link below

01:07:28.220 if you want to get

01:07:28.860 involved with those

01:07:29.580 cats, man.

01:07:30.560 And they got good items

01:07:31.720 and we'll put the link

01:07:32.400 below to them.

01:07:33.340 Today's intro music

01:07:34.160 was by Jameson Flood

01:07:36.060 and he's a beautiful guy

01:07:37.860 and he's come out

01:07:38.480 to see the shows

01:07:39.120 over the years

01:07:39.620 and we've become buddies

01:07:40.460 and he made that.

01:07:42.060 Every night,

01:07:43.080 every night I lie awake.

01:07:44.660 I feel like a fake.

01:07:45.760 I put on a show.

01:07:47.800 You know?

01:07:48.540 And some of that's fear,

01:07:49.580 man.

01:07:50.900 Some of that's just,

01:07:52.480 you know,

01:07:52.820 that's the dark arts.

01:07:53.640 That's the devil

01:07:54.200 using your own brain cells

01:07:55.360 against you.

01:07:56.920 You know,

01:07:57.380 it's tough

01:07:57.800 when you feel

01:07:58.260 like you're doing,

01:07:59.300 you know,

01:07:59.600 you feel like a good person

01:08:00.640 but then you feel

01:08:01.300 like you aren't

01:08:02.520 a good person.

01:08:05.060 It's just,

01:08:05.660 it's such a weird place

01:08:06.700 to be in.

01:08:08.180 And I think

01:08:08.800 I just am just

01:08:09.480 overwhelmed with anxiety

01:08:10.860 and just a lot

01:08:11.440 of different things.

01:08:12.960 You know,

01:08:13.280 just a lot.

01:08:14.180 Just a lot.

01:08:15.880 This week

01:08:16.720 we have,

01:08:18.160 what else?

01:08:18.800 Oh,

01:08:18.960 I'll tell you this.

01:08:20.180 We got some dates

01:08:21.640 coming up.

01:08:22.140 I'll be in Minneapolis

01:08:23.000 August 4th.

01:08:24.280 That might be sold out.

01:08:25.600 August 16th

01:08:26.360 through the 18th,

01:08:27.020 Chicago.

01:08:28.200 Then I'll be in Nashville,

01:08:29.500 Toronto.

01:08:30.760 Let's make them

01:08:31.480 pop out there,

01:08:32.380 Canada.

01:08:33.220 We're gonna do it all.

01:08:34.180 Let's put it on them.

01:08:35.020 September 20th

01:08:35.920 through the 24th

01:08:36.740 at Just for Laughs.

01:08:37.880 Go get them,

01:08:38.600 whatever,

01:08:38.920 how they set it up

01:08:39.900 some weird way.

01:08:40.460 You gotta get armbands

01:08:41.360 and shit

01:08:41.660 and you gotta pick me.

01:08:43.260 So it's some probably

01:08:44.060 scandal or whatever.

01:08:45.020 I don't know.

01:08:46.200 But you know

01:08:46.780 how these people are.

01:08:48.080 But I'll be there

01:08:48.780 and I'll happily be there.

01:08:50.240 Appleton, Wisconsin.

01:08:52.220 Salt Lake City,

01:08:53.120 Washington, D.C.

01:08:54.040 Other places.

01:08:54.880 I'll see you.

01:08:56.020 You can see all of those.

01:08:58.060 So on

01:08:58.740 TheoVon.com

01:08:59.700 slash store.

01:09:00.940 We got Rat King shirts

01:09:02.120 going out this week.

01:09:03.100 TheoVon.com

01:09:04.100 slash store

01:09:04.860 and TheoVon.com

01:09:06.200 slash tour.

01:09:07.820 As well,

01:09:08.520 thank you

01:09:08.880 Go Ya Ya's

01:09:10.060 down there in Baton Rouge.

01:09:10.900 Go get them crepes.

01:09:11.620 Go get them coffee.

01:09:12.420 It's 501 Main Street

01:09:13.520 downtown.

01:09:14.420 Get them hitters.

01:09:17.360 Thank you to everybody

01:09:18.060 that came out in Raleigh.

01:09:22.080 I'm sorry to cut it off

01:09:23.100 early guys.

01:09:23.460 I feel bad.

01:09:24.560 I feel like I'm not

01:09:25.100 doing my job

01:09:25.640 but I feel like

01:09:26.180 I gotta also

01:09:26.620 I gotta get myself

01:09:27.740 you know

01:09:28.280 kinda a little bit

01:09:28.920 well tonight

01:09:29.480 so I can continue

01:09:30.660 to do my job

01:09:31.380 moving forward

01:09:32.100 and we can just

01:09:33.060 keep making things

01:09:33.920 do cool stuff.

01:09:35.900 Thank you to the

01:09:36.500 single mom that came out

01:09:37.520 Nancy.

01:09:38.800 Thank you to the

01:09:39.480 Patreon people

01:09:40.200 who helped support that

01:09:41.660 and make that happen.

01:09:43.220 Thank you to the

01:09:43.920 staff at

01:09:44.500 Good Nights.

01:09:48.700 Oh you know what

01:09:49.420 one thing I'll say

01:09:50.100 man this is really

01:09:50.700 cool.

01:09:51.060 I was at the

01:09:51.500 Pullman Park

01:09:52.160 down there

01:09:52.500 visiting that

01:09:52.960 Andy Griffith

01:09:53.520 statue in Raleigh

01:09:55.100 and

01:09:56.460 and you know

01:09:57.900 for all this

01:09:58.720 media attention

01:09:59.620 I hear about

01:10:00.140 racism

01:10:00.720 and all of this

01:10:01.520 shit

01:10:01.840 and fucking

01:10:02.300 idiots on Twitter

01:10:03.240 and all of this

01:10:04.120 dude I'm in a

01:10:05.640 park in

01:10:06.240 what you would

01:10:07.000 call the south

01:10:07.640 even though it

01:10:08.080 starts with the

01:10:08.600 north.

01:10:08.940 South you know

01:10:09.900 people are like

01:10:10.380 it's the south

01:10:10.900 I'm like it's

01:10:11.540 North Carolina

01:10:12.580 so yeah

01:10:13.160 may want to

01:10:14.740 check your

01:10:16.160 you know

01:10:17.560 I don't know

01:10:18.020 what it's called

01:10:18.500 the word that

01:10:19.020 comes before

01:10:19.560 your adjectives

01:10:20.840 brother

01:10:21.200 but

01:10:22.200 and there was

01:10:23.820 a lot of

01:10:24.160 it was you know

01:10:24.620 it's kind of a

01:10:25.260 black and white

01:10:25.800 city it feels

01:10:26.360 like to me

01:10:26.960 and man

01:10:28.860 it felt like

01:10:30.360 there was a lot

01:10:30.960 less racial tension

01:10:32.020 than there was

01:10:32.920 when I grew up

01:10:33.920 in a similar type

01:10:34.780 of a black and

01:10:35.480 white environment

01:10:36.100 and that's just

01:10:37.380 my opinion

01:10:37.900 I don't live here

01:10:38.800 you know

01:10:39.620 I don't know

01:10:40.080 what it's like

01:10:40.500 all the time

01:10:41.100 but I'll tell

01:10:42.300 you this

01:10:42.840 I saw

01:10:44.280 families walking

01:10:45.580 around

01:10:46.100 enjoying each

01:10:47.380 other's company

01:10:48.080 I saw people

01:10:49.540 looking at each

01:10:50.160 other in the

01:10:50.560 eyes that were

01:10:51.020 different races

01:10:51.740 and not you

01:10:52.700 know not

01:10:53.260 looking with

01:10:54.080 fear or

01:10:54.660 inferiority

01:10:55.780 and man it

01:10:57.720 was I'll tell

01:10:58.520 you this it

01:10:58.860 was different

01:10:59.460 than the park

01:11:00.380 when I walked

01:11:01.240 around in the

01:11:01.620 park growing

01:11:02.100 up it was

01:11:03.880 different and

01:11:05.140 it was better

01:11:05.680 and it felt

01:11:08.000 fucking

01:11:08.320 comfortable

01:11:08.820 man

01:11:09.260 and you

01:11:11.920 know

01:11:12.220 and I

01:11:13.360 that kind

01:11:14.360 of shit

01:11:14.720 it's like

01:11:15.200 let's look

01:11:16.320 at the

01:11:16.580 truth of

01:11:17.120 what's going

01:11:17.840 on

01:11:18.380 and the

01:11:20.480 truths are

01:11:21.060 I think

01:11:21.340 that people

01:11:21.860 we're gonna

01:11:23.500 be fine

01:11:24.040 you know

01:11:26.560 we just lay

01:11:27.800 off this

01:11:28.080 click bait

01:11:28.660 you know

01:11:29.140 but I love

01:11:30.360 you guys

01:11:30.720 man I'm

01:11:31.040 sorry if I'm

01:11:31.440 preaching man

01:11:32.000 I'm fucking

01:11:32.500 I'm not doing

01:11:33.380 super well

01:11:34.020 but I love

01:11:34.840 you and be

01:11:35.600 good to

01:11:35.840 yourselves

01:11:36.200 you probably

01:11:36.960 deserve it

01:11:37.440 you know

01:11:37.780 that

01:11:38.080 every night

01:11:51.200 I feel like

01:12:02.420 a fake

01:12:03.240 I put on

01:12:04.120 a show

01:12:04.760 knowing

01:12:05.640 nobody

01:12:06.540 will go

01:12:07.360 every night

01:12:14.180 you sleep

01:12:15.280 every night

01:12:18.860 I play

01:12:19.720 a piece

01:12:20.460 steal your

01:12:21.100 things

01:12:21.480 that you

01:12:22.200 know

01:12:22.720 but you

01:12:23.340 still

01:12:24.000 believe

01:12:24.880 that it

01:12:28.920 was me

01:12:30.640 that it

01:12:33.500 was me

01:12:34.380 that's every

01:12:36.600 night right

01:12:37.120 there by

01:12:37.940 Jameson

01:12:38.800 flood

01:12:39.680 we'll put

01:12:40.680 a link

01:12:41.160 to that

01:12:42.820 one so you

01:12:43.200 can check

01:12:43.620 it out

01:12:44.000 be good to

01:12:44.860 yourselves

01:12:45.240 man you

01:12:45.780 probably deserve

01:12:46.460 it and

01:12:47.420 thank you guys

01:12:49.620 I'll talk to

01:12:50.100 you soon

01:12:50.420 ladies and gentlemen

01:13:06.740 I'm Jonathan

01:13:07.580 Kite and

01:13:08.260 welcome to

01:13:08.780 Kite Club

01:13:09.280 a podcast

01:13:10.200 where I'll be

01:13:10.920 sharing thoughts

01:13:11.520 on things like

01:13:12.220 current events

01:13:12.940 stand-up stories

01:13:14.140 and seven ways

01:13:15.260 to pleasure your

01:13:16.040 partner

01:13:16.460 the answer may

01:13:17.740 shock you

01:13:18.380 sometimes I'll

01:13:19.420 interview my

01:13:19.920 friends

01:13:20.400 sometimes I

01:13:21.420 won't

01:13:21.720 and as always

01:13:23.240 I'll be joined

01:13:23.920 by the voices

01:13:24.500 in my head

01:13:25.220 you have

01:13:26.060 three new

01:13:27.260 voice messages

01:13:28.080 a lot of

01:13:29.280 people are

01:13:29.760 talking about

01:13:30.440 Kite Club

01:13:31.080 I've been

01:13:31.760 talking about

01:13:32.540 Kite Club

01:13:33.040 for so long

01:13:33.880 longer than

01:13:34.600 anybody else

01:13:35.520 so great

01:13:36.320 hi

01:13:37.320 sweet

01:13:37.900 here's a

01:13:39.080 deal

01:13:39.360 anyone who

01:13:40.600 doesn't listen

01:13:41.120 to Kite Club

01:13:41.800 is a dodgy

01:13:42.680 bloody wanker

01:13:43.860 Jermaine

01:13:44.560 I'll take a

01:13:46.680 quarter pounder

01:13:47.360 with cheese

01:13:47.860 and a McFlurry

01:13:48.880 sorry sir

01:13:49.460 but our

01:13:49.700 ice cream

01:13:50.020 machine is

01:13:50.420 broken

01:13:50.740 I think

01:13:54.080 Tom Hanks

01:13:54.600 just butt

01:13:55.120 dialed me

01:13:55.700 anyway

01:13:56.140 first rule

01:13:57.020 of Kite Club

01:13:57.520 is tell

01:13:58.480 everyone about

01:13:59.280 Kite Club

01:13:59.820 second rule

01:14:00.560 of Kite Club

01:14:01.180 is tell

01:14:02.160 everyone about

01:14:03.320 Kite Club

01:14:04.000 third rule

01:14:04.780 like and subscribe

01:14:05.940 wherever you

01:14:06.600 listen to podcasts

01:14:07.400 or watch us

01:14:08.700 on YouTube

01:14:09.160 yeah

01:14:09.600 and yes

01:14:10.480 don't worry

01:14:11.060 my Brad Pitt

01:14:11.880 impression will

01:14:12.580 get better

01:14:13.100 Kite Club

This Past Weekend with Theo Von - July 23, 2018

Emo Nemo ｜ This Past Weekend #115

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