This Past Weekend with Theo Von - Fifty Cent Sniffs ｜ This Past Weekend #224

00:00:00.480 Recently, our company's softball team lost the big game by one run.

00:00:04.800 Then Dale tried to console us with the quote,

00:00:07.200 winning isn't everything.

00:00:09.060 Well, Dale and I are very different.

00:00:12.740 I get early payout from Bet365.

00:00:14.680 If my team goes up big, I get paid out instantly,

00:00:17.480 even if they blow the lead later.

00:00:19.540 Sound familiar, Dale?

00:00:21.280 Thanks, Bet365.

00:00:22.920 Must be 19 or older, Ontario only.

00:00:24.420 Please play responsibly.

00:00:25.240 If you have questions or concerns about your gambling

00:00:26.660 or the gambling of someone close to you,

00:00:27.720 please go to connexontario.ca TNC Supply.

00:00:30.000 oh yeah i'm on the way to work i stop okay and i get me a coffee one of them cafe cups you know 0.57

00:00:40.920 and i've been pining for it all morning i mean i've been pining like a damn forest

00:00:47.920 you know and i i hadn't had any cafe all morning and then i'm just you know i know okay when i 0.78

00:00:55.860 head into the studio. I'm going to stop. I'm going to get me that frothy brown hitter.

00:01:02.540 That, you know, that sipper full of just brackish. And I like that coffee dirty, bruh.

00:01:10.540 You know what I'm saying? I like just a little bit, like just a scoop of the dang,

00:01:14.740 like somebody just scooped some of the Mississippi River into a cafe cup and presented it at me. 0.99

00:01:22.280 that's how i like it i like my shit got a little bit of sweat in it you know i like that dirty cup 0.99

00:01:30.880 you know i like that cup of coffee that might test positive for a little something bro you know 0.99

00:01:36.700 the kind of stuff if you if you mailed a couple drops in the ancestry's um internet thing or 1.00

00:01:45.100 whatever they come back at you like damn this shit you know this shit's got tomato base in it 0.99

00:01:53.920 this stuff got a little bit of caffeine you know this shit's nine percent savannah heron african 1.00

00:02:01.720 i like that coffee i like that dirty cup but i'm at the place i park i get out of my vehicle 0.99

00:02:10.060 And bam, right as I open the door, actually, I'm opening the door.

00:02:14.620 And pow, car hits my door.

00:02:17.780 Boom.

00:02:19.360 Just lit it up.

00:02:21.540 I mean, I didn't know what it was at first. 0.99

00:02:23.040 I thought it was like a damn, just like a rhinoceros, bro. 0.99

00:02:27.200 It was loud. 0.99

00:02:29.980 And I thought, damn, where'd I park? 0.98

00:02:33.120 You know, in Jumanji? 0.99

00:02:34.920 Because I thought just a rhino just nosed that door down.

00:02:39.160 But I get out and it's a Toyota Camry.

00:02:49.100 And a Toyota Camry, that's a popular car usually for a stepmother. 1.00

00:02:54.060 A lot of strippers drive them too. 1.00

00:02:56.420 You'll see a lot of dancers, nighttime ladies who got those legs working at night.

00:03:03.600 They drive a Camry sometimes and a lot of the logos have been stolen off of the back of it. 0.99

00:03:09.160 and uh anyway the guy hit me it was a china this beautiful chinaman hit me dude i mean this guy

00:03:16.360 and when i saw him bro first of all he comes up give me a hug two-arm hug

00:03:21.840 and i'll say this it did diffuse the situation because i was a little

00:03:27.380 man i just got a vehicle i've been in an uber for four months

00:03:32.960 sitting in the just in little i mean sitting in usually there's a couple little chips

00:03:40.480 you know a little sour cream and onion residue on the back seat and i've been just sitting in

00:03:47.520 that in other people's cars for four months and then finally i got this vehicle and bam

00:03:53.340 this beautiful chinaman runs up both arms that's what he said out of the gate he double

00:04:02.800 double so sorry me and it softened my heart a little you know and this guy we shop we swap

00:04:11.600 names and he was look i'm all about different ethnicities and everything i'm all about

00:04:18.320 beige power but this guy was extremely chinese okay this guy was

00:04:30.100 i don't even know and i look we've all got different things about us you know i got them

00:04:39.680 girthy hips i got that ds booty um you know if you see me getting onto a short school bus

00:04:48.080 from the rear you wouldn't think anything of it and that's how much ds i got in these sweet cheeks

00:04:56.300 back here but um but this man should not have been driving this man's this man was probably

00:05:05.860 about 700 chinese his eye he did not his eyes were not open and i don't mean that he also could have

00:05:12.660 been on you know on antihistamines he would have tested positive i think for definitely some heavy

00:05:19.000 claritin because his eyes were not open and he was and his car had looked like it had hit maybe

00:05:27.640 100 cars i mean everywhere there could be a little ding or a bong or bing there was one

00:05:36.400 in his rearview mirror that's what caught my door and uh put like a den in like the edge of it and

00:05:42.960 everything's fine it's all good but man that thing it just kind of rattled my day and here's

00:05:51.260 what i'm saying is not everybody should be doing everything this guy is should not be driving

00:05:59.520 this guy's not driving this guy is basically just bouncing around los angeles i mean there's no way

00:06:10.580 he could see stuff i think he hugged me in hindsight because he was just trying to get a

00:06:15.360 notion of where i was at physically so that way he could direct his voice in my direction

00:06:19.640 enough of my ranting um i got a big announcement to make uh and i thank you guys for being

00:06:29.780 here with me today and let's start off just with something to make me a little bit

00:06:37.420 comfortable, you know.

00:06:57.180 I'm just

00:06:58.220 sitting on your front porch

00:07:00.280 wondering how could I be

00:07:02.240 so far from my

00:07:03.980 home

00:07:05.300 And my mind is somewhere else

00:07:10.940 But when I find it

00:07:12.660 I'll patch up where it's been 0.52

00:07:14.820 Blown

00:07:16.280 Now I'm just floating on the breeze

00:07:22.580 And I feel I'm falling like these leaves

00:07:25.520 I must be

00:07:26.620 Cornerstone

00:07:28.860 Oh, but when I reach that ground

00:07:33.420 I'll share this peace of mind I found I can feel it in my bones

00:07:39.380 Feel it in my bones, huh?

00:07:40.960 But it's gonna take a little time

00:07:45.400 For me to set that parking brake

00:07:49.240 And let myself unwind

00:07:52.040 Shine that light on me

00:07:58.020 I'll sit and tell you my stories

00:08:02.020 Shine on me

00:08:06.700 And I will find a song

00:08:10.940 I will sing it just for you

00:08:14.620 Yeah, in honesty, I don't even know, honestly 0.95

00:08:25.420 That man, that Chinese gentleman might not even have had 0.86

00:08:29.220 He might not even have had eyes

00:08:31.640 I mean, he was, he may have been the bravest blind person in the world. 0.99

00:08:38.420 He may have just been the damn American ninja sight warrior. 0.97

00:08:43.960 But anyway, good to be here with you today. 0.97

00:08:49.680 It is Monday, August 29th, 2019.

00:08:54.040 And we are burrowing into the future at the same rate we always have been, one second at a time.

00:09:08.760 What's going on?

00:09:10.180 Thank you to everybody who came out this weekend.

00:09:12.020 Atlanta.

00:09:14.260 It was so wild in Atlanta.

00:09:16.300 Atlanta, Memphis, Louisville, and Birmingham.

00:09:19.900 and we got to stop in

00:09:22.540 and see the King Elvis Presley

00:09:24.360 the house he was born in

00:09:25.680 and Elvis was born

00:09:28.080 I mean the house is tiny

00:09:30.220 I'm not joking

00:09:32.200 if you really

00:09:33.280 if I had

00:09:36.040 if I had been

00:09:37.820 maybe smoked about half a pack of Winston's

00:09:40.240 and if you opened up

00:09:42.360 the back door and the front door

00:09:43.820 of his house

00:09:44.680 and I had a little bit of a cold

00:09:46.800 and I cleared my throat

00:09:49.440 and you gave me three steps of running momentum.

00:09:53.960 I think I could spit through the front door

00:09:57.280 out the back door

00:09:59.140 of Elvis Presley, the launch pad.

00:10:04.300 And right when you go in the door there,

00:10:05.900 there's an old lady sitting there

00:10:07.120 and she's resting, I think.

00:10:08.620 I thought she might have been deceased,

00:10:10.040 but she woke up.

00:10:12.860 And she's right there sitting by the bed

00:10:14.960 where Elvis was conceived, baby.

00:10:17.440 and man I tell you almost want to get in the bed and just you know hope for a little bit of that

00:10:23.560 magic but it was a beautiful little home you get to see his high chair he sat in as a little fella

00:10:29.400 and uh and we had a nice time and that was over there in uh Tupelo Mississippi where we stopped

00:10:37.580 and saw the birthplace of Elvis Elvis Presley we went to Sun Studios in Memphis and um just saw

00:10:45.240 where Johnny Cash had recorded, Carl Pickerton, Pickerton, Pinkerton, one of them, Hot Carl,

00:10:53.940 some people call him Hot Carl, and Elvis himself, and it was a great time, man.

00:11:02.340 So I got an announcement to make, it's not an announcement, I mean, I guess, I don't

00:11:06.740 know if it's an announcement, I just, so I just want to tell you what happened.

00:11:11.300 And so about a month ago, I got a message on social media from an actor and this man named Chris Pratt.

00:11:24.540 And he is an actor and he does, you know, fancy roles and he also does comedy roles.

00:11:34.260 He's a very, you know, he's distinguished in his industry.

00:11:37.420 and from everything i'd heard he'd always uh i'd heard only that he was a kind man

00:11:43.400 i got a very nice message from him and it said you know hey man i'm paraphrasing hey man

00:11:50.240 um uh i think you're a funny guy i've been a fan for a while i'm doing a project coming up

00:11:57.260 and i would like for you to be in it

00:12:00.720 and you know me with hollywood i have different types of thoughts and

00:12:08.500 and you know i've passed up on some uh pilots and different you know sitcom ideas and things

00:12:16.280 that people have tried to get me into there's even an animated series coming out um on netflix

00:12:23.440 that i did that i got offered a role in i just just different things that i just didn't really

00:12:27.840 tickle my fancy really or even even rub my fancy at all and um but this kind of hit me a little

00:12:36.240 bit different and it was just a direct uh it was a direct message from a man who's funny and who

00:12:45.060 who i've i've found for myself that i admire even outside of their work um and even though i don't

00:12:52.940 know him i just i guess that doesn't make any sense then i guess i just felt like i've always

00:12:58.800 felt like he was one of the good guys um now next thing you know uh they had me come in and

00:13:08.200 meet with a producer and uh just go over one of the roles and gianni who works here the beautiful

00:13:17.440 little guy you know that little christmas ornament i mean definitely the kind of guy you

00:13:23.620 he seemed he seemed like the kind of guy that would hang out of the he'd just be kind of laying

00:13:29.200 around the soap dish in a male bathhouse you know gianni well he helped me go over the lines and

00:13:35.860 work on it and uh and went and met with one of the producers and then they offered me

00:13:42.220 the opportunity to be in the film and so that's what I'm going to do I decided that I'm going to

00:13:51.940 go do to go do the film you know I spoke with a lot of other people that have been in this

00:13:59.080 situation or you know had this type of offer you know Sebastian Maniscalco I spoke with him about

00:14:07.660 it. Coco Diaz, we chatted. Brian Callan even helped me work on the lines to go read with

00:14:15.320 the producer. And even Chris D'Elia almost helped me work on the lines, but he had to

00:14:22.120 go do something. But yeah, so, you know, I guess I'm nervous, but I'm excited. You know,

00:14:30.400 I'm definitely excited. And it's like, it's going to be a movie that people can see. And

00:14:35.680 look, I'm really, you know, I'm excited about it. Um, but with everything, uh, there is a cost

00:14:41.220 and one of the reasons, you know, that I'm, uh, you know, something that's hurting me about it,

00:14:49.140 that's really getting me inside of me right now is that, um, I have to reschedule some tour dates

00:14:54.320 and, and I'm bummed about that. You know, I'm really bummed about it. Um, so those dates that

00:15:02.080 I'm going to have to reschedule, and I'll talk more about it after, are Glasgow, Dublin, Oslo, Stockholm, London, Manchester, Amsterdam, Sayreville, Bethlehem, PA, Grand Rapids, Detroit, Milwaukee, and Madison.

00:15:26.740 And that's most of the fall touring.

00:15:32.080 And, you know, and it just, it's, it really, you know, I feel sad about it.

00:15:41.940 I mean, I'm bummed out.

00:15:43.600 You know, I've really been looking forward to doing the European tour.

00:15:47.420 Like, and I guess I'm just, you know, I guess I don't, I don't want you to think that I don't care.

00:15:59.960 You know, I thought a lot about this, you know, it's been, you know, the past month it's been kind of like in limbo and I've thought a lot about it and, and, and I think it also has been presented to me at a time where, where I needed some break.

00:16:28.140 from what's been going on uh i haven't been feeling that good to be honest with you

00:16:34.800 you know i've been feeling very a lot of stress and i've been feeling like i haven't been able

00:16:40.800 to connect very much with myself um i felt like i haven't been able to connect sometimes when

00:16:46.560 i've been on some tour dates uh and i think some of it's just been exhaustion um and

00:16:56.220 And just the fact that this came about, like, that Mr. Pratt reached out to me directly.

00:17:04.960 And I didn't have to go through, like, a lot of Hollywood hoopla.

00:17:09.040 You know, I've just put myself out there.

00:17:12.280 And honestly, man, it felt like I did it my way.

00:17:17.940 and that, you know, and to get to then go and be in like a movie where,

00:17:25.600 I mean, it sounds really interesting.

00:17:28.840 It's supposed to be about like fighting for the future

00:17:32.400 and like kind of like this powerful sort of,

00:17:37.940 I don't know what I can say about it.

00:17:39.500 I don't even know what all the rules are.

00:17:40.660 I don't even know if I'm really supposed to be talking about it.

00:17:42.660 But I just needed to tell you that those dates that you have tickets for, you can get a refund or they will be to be decided.

00:17:54.780 They're going to be rescheduled soon.

00:17:56.700 I just don't know exactly when yet.

00:18:00.440 But I'll be there as soon as I can.

00:18:03.380 I'll find some way to make it up to the people who are coming out.

00:18:08.960 And I don't know what that will be yet, but I'll find a way.

00:18:12.660 and yeah I don't know man I've honestly just been scared I've been like I've been a little

00:18:21.040 stressed about just talking about that you know because I love touring I you know I worked so

00:18:25.960 hard to build up people to come out to see the shows and then um and then now I'm canceling on

00:18:32.340 you you know we're not canceling but now I'm rescheduling on you and um and I'm sorry you

00:18:39.780 I really am sorry.

00:18:41.500 I don't want you to feel like I'm trading like Hollywood for you.

00:18:44.760 I don't feel that way.

00:18:47.220 There's been a lot of things that would have taken my time away from my tour dates

00:18:51.860 or from my podcast that I've said no to.

00:18:54.920 But this just feels like it's coming at a moment where I need,

00:18:59.640 honestly, I need a little bit of a break.

00:19:06.000 I haven't been feeling that good.

00:19:07.460 and sometimes nobody wants to hear about it when you have you know future tour dates or this on

00:19:14.340 the docket or this you know people don't uh they don't want to hear that and as an artist or as a

00:19:20.660 entertainer you get scared to say that because you don't want people to not come and support you

00:19:25.580 you know you work so hard to get people to come be part of a group and and then now i'm you know

00:19:31.440 you're letting them down uh but that's the choice that i made and um and i feel like that's what uh

00:19:40.880 you know i just need i just think having a different experience you know it's going to

00:19:46.360 be eight weeks at least that we're going to be shooting this thing and um and it's just going

00:19:53.020 to be crazy. Like I can't even imagine what that's going to be like. But I will make this

00:20:01.840 show up to you. I will be back to do the shows. And I hope you forgive me. You know, I hope

00:20:10.860 that you forgive me and that you don't give up on me. Yeah.

00:20:23.020 You know, and I plan to still bring the Dark Arts Tour.

00:20:26.120 I don't want to.

00:20:26.820 I still want people to see this show.

00:20:29.360 You know, this might be, I think, maybe the best show I've ever put together.

00:20:34.080 And so I still want people to see that specifically.

00:20:37.280 And, you know, the place you reach out to for your tickets, they will be the place that will reach out to you for reimbursement or to reschedule.

00:20:48.040 They'll send you information however they send it.

00:20:50.720 um and if you have other questions then you can email producer at uh at theovan.com or you can

00:21:01.700 uh hit the hotline and we'll do our best to answer whatever we can as well but

00:21:06.220 your best bet is going to be to go through the ticket people so man i'm sorry i feel really bad

00:21:13.920 Um, but, but I feel, I mean, I just, I can't even explain to you fully how I've been feeling

00:21:22.640 like in the past, uh, two weeks, especially like, I feel like, uh, I've just been hit

00:21:28.100 a little bit of burnout and I haven't felt like myself, even on the, uh, even on the

00:21:34.080 podcast episodes, you know, I've just felt, uh, disconnected.

00:21:39.500 I noticed when my family was visiting that I felt like I couldn't really relate with

00:21:43.900 and I couldn't be the person that I wanted to be.

00:21:48.120 You know, I've missed like being like a little bit more joyous and stuff.

00:21:54.020 My brain feels like it's always, you know how when you're taking a test sometimes

00:21:58.220 and you have to like, you know, you know, you know how normally you go into class, right?

00:22:03.520 If you was in high school or if you was in remedial, you know, whatever. 0.84

00:22:08.480 Or if you fucking just were born and then got a job when you were about 18, whatever. 0.95

00:22:13.900 maybe you didn't do school but remember school you would kind of goof around it was relaxing 0.99

00:22:19.740 you could live your life and then on test day the thing i hated the most about test day in school

00:22:26.200 is that you couldn't have a regular day of class where you could have fun and enjoy each other's 0.99

00:22:32.840 vibe and feel you know shoot a thing at fucking little rodney bro shoot a little uh spitball 0.99

00:22:40.120 dude hit him you know ball him once 1.00

00:22:42.080 ball him twice and then surprise him

00:22:43.960 with a little nail you know 1.00

00:22:45.960 one of those little one inch 1.00

00:22:47.940 little 1.00

00:22:48.240 picture nails and just 1.00

00:22:51.080 hit that bastard boy 1.00

00:22:54.140 you know what I'm saying teach him 1.00

00:22:55.980 who his step daddy is

00:22:57.420 and I missed that was fun to sing about it 1.00

00:22:59.880 but on test day you're like damn man 0.99

00:23:02.280 we gotta be quiet 0.99

00:23:04.080 you know everybody

00:23:06.060 leaves class right when they're done with the

00:23:07.760 it just was a different vibe

00:23:10.120 And that's what things have felt like for me a little bit the past few weeks is just like test day.

00:23:15.440 So I think that this opportunity is coming at a time when I'm looking forward to just being able to recharge in some ways.

00:23:25.960 I really am.

00:23:27.240 And also, it's still something that everybody will get to see.

00:23:30.620 you know so it's like um you know i feel like there will be a neat way to at least see

00:23:37.140 that i could do that i could be in a on a movie screen and that i did it my way man that we did

00:23:44.640 it our way you know that we just put ourselves out there and that we didn't need a bunch of 0.98

00:23:51.220 bullshit we didn't need a bunch of you know like fake prbs and that 0.94

00:23:57.960 i don't know and here's the crazy thing is man a couple of weeks before uh mr christopher pratt 0.99

00:24:08.040 before he sent me a message i had a thought in my head that he might i was like what if that

00:24:12.260 man sent me a message about doing a project with him and that's kind of crazy you know

00:24:20.980 So anyway, I'm going to quit talking about it.

00:24:23.660 I'm really sorry.

00:24:25.420 You know, it really, really breaks my heart that I'm not going to be able to come to some of these shows right now.

00:24:30.200 I will come to them soon.

00:24:32.320 We will have the dates on the books ASAP.

00:24:36.400 And some people, you know, some people say, well, look, just wait till you know what the dates are before you announce it.

00:24:41.940 I said, no, I want to know.

00:24:43.300 I want people to know what's going on.

00:24:45.320 So I still may be in Brea this weekend.

00:24:48.780 I will definitely be in Biloxi.

00:24:50.980 on the 31st, but those other dates will be TBD, and I'll let you know through social media or

00:25:03.080 here on the podcast, or the place you bought them from originally will send you a link or code so

00:25:08.300 that you have the first option to get the new date. Let's go into some calls that came in on

00:25:17.420 the hotline as always the hotline is 985-664-9503 and if there's something that you're struggling

00:25:25.160 with or scared about or something that's going on in your life as a young man because we get

00:25:31.060 left in the cold sometimes fellas we don't you know a lot of times society and stuff just wants

00:25:36.560 to look at young women right now or animals i mean you see i saw a video the other day 17 pets

00:25:44.540 were going to summer camp on a bus. 1.00

00:25:47.780 Well, what the fuck, man? 1.00

00:25:50.380 If you're a pet, dude, 1.00

00:25:51.900 every day is summer camp, isn't it?

00:25:53.940 You get a treat.

00:25:55.400 You get to, you know,

00:25:56.400 you run around.

00:25:58.920 Maybe you go to a little park

00:26:00.400 and, you know, bang another pet

00:26:02.080 you never met 0.99

00:26:02.760 or at least get to smell somebody's butt. 0.94

00:26:06.000 Dude, if that ain't the definition 0.97

00:26:08.760 of summer camp, boy.

00:26:12.180 We used to have this girl Tiffany, bro, 1.00

00:26:14.260 I don't know how she got tits, but she got them. 0.99

00:26:19.180 You feel me, boy? 1.00

00:26:20.620 Dude, she had tits. 1.00

00:26:22.940 And this is before people had tits. 1.00

00:26:25.780 And Tiff had them tits, okay? 0.98

00:26:29.080 And I don't know how she got it into her head, but she thought that young fellas, men, you know, future men, boys, growing boys, 0.99

00:26:40.300 would love to get a little whiff off them tees.

00:26:46.100 You feel me?

00:26:47.640 Little frickin' get a little just a nose huff 1.00

00:26:52.640 off them little nippled totters, boy. 1.00

00:26:57.080 You know what I'm saying? 1.00

00:26:58.120 Them tits. 1.00

00:27:00.160 And so for 50 cents, man, you go in there and smell them tits. 1.00

00:27:02.940 Bro, she'd let you fucking smell them bitches. 1.00

00:27:06.840 And look, I was so keyed up at the time on tit 1.00

00:27:09.740 that I couldn't even tell you what she looked like.

00:27:15.340 I don't know if I ever saw her face or shoulders or legs or arms

00:27:21.160 or even her lower torso, man.

00:27:26.180 All I saw on Tiff was them Tiffs, boy. 1.00

00:27:29.920 And it was 50 cents to take a freaking big snout. 0.92

00:27:36.920 hell boy get that snout hit off them just them happy chest huffers boy gang gang 0.88

00:27:46.340 and if sales were low boy for 25 cents she'd let you smell one bro but i always saved up 50 cents

00:27:54.140 and got that double you feel me but god dang it was a good time man what were we even talking

00:28:00.600 about oh yeah pets are getting everything now man um but let's take a hot let's take a call

00:28:07.020 from the hotline 985-664-9503 what's up nasher over in west virginia wv in west virginia i remember

00:28:21.120 hearing uh i was there years ago and they had some of the largest people in america in the world i

00:28:26.780 think even the world largest bodied people you know obesity that was a sip of coffee let's go

00:28:34.320 more brother nasher saw you last night in louisville drove about six hours wow man thank you

00:28:40.880 brother thank you so much man i appreciate that all the way out there and uh 0.99

00:28:46.800 you fucking killed it david you're a funny motherfucker really 0.98

00:28:52.300 I just was really impressed with your energy, man. 1.00

00:28:55.140 When you came out, you were just, it's like you were all over the fucking stage, dude. 0.98

00:28:59.060 I know you're sober, but it was like you did a little bump or something when you got out there, man. 0.99

00:29:04.120 That's the Lord, boy.

00:29:05.280 I put a couple grams of the Lord in me.

00:29:08.980 Onward.

00:29:09.840 But I had a quick question.

00:29:11.740 I went to the early show in Louisville, to be specific.

00:29:15.140 First comedy show I've ever been to.

00:29:16.560 So I was just kind of curious to know how that show stacked up against other shows,

00:29:21.580 If that makes any sense, like, was that a good crowd, bad crowd?

00:29:24.540 What makes a good crowd?

00:29:25.660 What makes a bad crowd?

00:29:27.780 I was just curious to know.

00:29:29.160 Everybody seems fairly well-behaved.

00:29:30.960 Some guy just already a little held, but he handled it like a G, dude.

00:29:35.860 But, yeah, man, just curious to know what makes a good and bad comedy crowd

00:29:40.280 and how that night was for you.

00:29:42.660 Gang, brother, thank you for coming through, man,

00:29:44.700 and thanks for driving that six hours.

00:29:46.220 Wow.

00:29:46.460 wow um you know what makes a good crowd for me it used to just be that things were going to be fine

00:29:56.720 and then at some points this year it started to be like if if you know i've talked about it on

00:30:02.960 here a few times if people got outrageous or real you know uh people yelling in the audience too

00:30:10.460 much or somebody just drunk and catcalling you know one guy threw uh his underpants on stage

00:30:18.760 what bro come on boy dude if i'm chasing something out of somebody's underpants bro it ain't gonna

00:30:28.160 be no wiener bro you feel me i'm chasing something else boy you know i'm saying a little bit of

00:30:34.400 kutah boy so that dude that was wild but i think uh just a crowd that's ready to enjoy themselves

00:30:43.960 you know a crowd it's not like a football game i mean dude i did a show in you know when i take

00:30:52.480 my netflix special the one that's out there now there was some lady in louisiana in new orleans 0.70

00:30:57.960 yelling defense the whole game you know people didn't know what the fuck was going on some people 0.72

00:31:02.680 had never been to a comedy show so this lady may have never even been out the basement you know 0.99

00:31:08.400 she may have been locked up in the um you know she might have been off that damn i don't even know 1.00

00:31:13.720 elizabeth smart dance team or whatever she you know i this lady seemed like she'd never even 1.00

00:31:18.820 half the show she was facing the other direction from the show and she was yelling defense so 0.99

00:31:24.200 but what makes a good show for me is if people like i know what i'm trying to do

00:31:30.820 you know and I want the show to go good

00:31:33.660 and I guess it's just put their trust

00:31:35.960 in me

00:31:36.520 you know

00:31:39.980 that I'm going to have

00:31:41.780 that the show is going to be

00:31:43.580 good but yeah I think a little bit

00:31:45.860 of engagement is fine man you know

00:31:47.300 people having fun but when people start to just make it

00:31:49.760 about themselves at a certain point that's too much

00:31:51.800 for me dude I already threw 0.99

00:31:53.700 some guy out that shit was 0.99

00:31:55.720 hilarious 1.00

00:31:56.960 that shit was hilarious 0.99

00:31:59.200 i was sitting in my uh backstage in this hair i turned they got a little volume thing on the wall 0.99

00:32:08.680 and i cranked that thing up i said i'm about to enjoy it here and ari was like well i think you

00:32:15.180 could leave then but you know good for him dude it's tossing somebody out of a comedy show is a

00:32:22.840 hard thing to learn to do you know for years you just if somebody starts yelling you just sometimes

00:32:28.100 let them go sometimes you lose the audience um but i liked louisville it was i mean just good

00:32:34.560 people man so many nice people came out and i know i say that a lot about the shows but that's who it

00:32:40.280 is you know that's who's a part of this group and uh and yeah i'm just it was a blast man we had a

00:32:48.300 great time um we had a great time what else makes a good show i think me feeling okay you know the

00:32:56.680 second show in louisville man and the second show in atlanta honestly man i didn't want to go back

00:33:05.040 out you know we did it and it was good uh but you know that's why we didn't do any meet and greets

00:33:12.960 after those two shows i just can't there's something uh my stress level has just been

00:33:17.980 through the roof i think i've just done put too much on my plate and so i'm starting to scale

00:33:23.720 back on some things i'm gonna start doing uh some less uh guest episodes um because honestly i

00:33:30.780 started to get worried about my own uh health and well-being and certainly uh also my mental health

00:33:37.680 you know i've been you know a couple weeks ago i was trying to figure out what was going on with

00:33:45.260 and why i was feeling so exhausted i thought maybe my medicine was wrong so i tried to adjust my

00:33:50.320 medicine and then that kind of backfired because I started just having like real scary thoughts

00:33:57.300 and stuff and um and you know I think I've just been working so much that I haven't been able to

00:34:05.320 enjoy the fruits of my labor at all and I also haven't been able to focus on the things that

00:34:13.880 make me want to do this in the first place you know like uh doing the single mom stuff um

00:34:22.080 finding ways to focus on uh helping other young men who struggle you know it gets to the point

00:34:29.420 where you're doing two episodes a week you're throwing king of the sting and it's and look

00:34:33.820 it's all good it's all great problems to have but you know you start to become part of part of a

00:34:41.820 system part of your own system even if it's a system you start you you made for yourself

00:34:45.660 um so i think just learning some time management for myself will help me be able to get on stage

00:34:52.280 and give a fun show because the thing that makes any show the best is when i'm having a good time

00:34:57.440 too and that's what i want to be able to bring to the shows no matter what um and that's another

00:35:04.500 one of the reasons why with this movie opportunity that came along that i said yes to it look

00:35:11.580 Financially, it's a big loss for me financially to take this film

00:35:16.740 and to do this film opportunity.

00:35:19.460 I don't even know how much I'll be in the deal.

00:35:22.060 Look, they may cut me and put me on the floor.

00:35:25.500 That's the risk I have to take.

00:35:30.580 But I do feel like a higher power in my life presented this opportunity

00:35:34.580 to me at a time when personally I had been struggling.

00:35:41.580 and I used to be able to share my struggle and stuff on the podcast,

00:35:47.860 and I think it's been so hard for me to even access my feelings.

00:35:55.180 I've just been so busy, and it's been hard to access them in all walks of life.

00:36:01.620 When I meet people, it's been hard.

00:36:04.340 I feel like people can't tell if I care or not sometimes, and I hate that.

00:36:07.700 you know i used to know when i met people and i was like trying to express

00:36:12.100 you know that i care that they knew and recently i've been really i've just felt uh

00:36:19.440 i don't know if you ever put a if you put a little bit of electricity in an animal 0.99

00:36:24.760 you can still pet that animal but damn it's that softness has a fucking real bite to it you know 0.97

00:36:32.360 and that's what i feel like i feel like i've had a lot of electricity 0.99

00:36:36.620 in in my fur and uh and i've been suffering also at a spiritual level

00:36:44.840 you know i've been suffering at a spiritual level for myself

00:36:48.420 um so when you know when the guardian of the galaxy reached out and said just i mean through

00:37:00.700 the ether and said hey look uh i think you are a funny guy i like what you do um and i've been a

00:37:12.160 supporter for a long time and i think there's a neat opportunity for you uh it just seemed like

00:37:21.280 something that almost was like the healthiest choice that i had to make uh for myself so i know

00:37:29.900 it's selfish but um i think i just there's something that i need right now uh to have a

00:37:38.440 just i just need a little bit of regrouping and um and a little bit of recharging um and so

00:37:46.320 you know it made me look at everything that i'm doing and made me realize i'll just have to make

00:37:51.480 some adjustments because i want to be able to do things in my life for the long haul

00:37:56.300 You know, I love going out on the stage, man.

00:37:58.740 I'm glad you had fun in Louisville, and I'm glad that I surprised you.

00:38:02.740 Because I love to get out there and make people laugh.

00:38:06.140 Man, when you see couples sitting there and they're laughing, you know, you see somebody come up.

00:38:11.400 This guy came up to me the other night.

00:38:12.560 He said, hey, man, I just got one year sober, you know, and you inspired me.

00:38:18.560 Man, and I was looking at him, and I felt like so, like, not happy, but just felt like...

00:38:25.340 And I just felt so purposeful, and I couldn't even express that to him.

00:38:32.420 And I didn't need to.

00:38:33.540 It wasn't about me, but I just wanted to let him know, look, man, if something makes you feel good, man, then, man, that makes me feel good.

00:38:44.640 And I've just had a lot of electricity in my firm, man.

00:38:49.480 It's been hard for me to connect with others.

00:38:55.340 So, you know, and I'm learning as I go, and I didn't want to like, you know, and maybe this will be a lesson where I just, I don't know.

00:39:06.120 I mean, there's a cost to everything.

00:39:08.580 You know, and some people may want to not come see the shows anymore. 0.99

00:39:11.560 Some people may fuck this guy or, you know, I don't know. 0.97

00:39:15.500 But I feel like I'm making a good choice for myself, for my emotional well-being at this moment. 0.98

00:39:27.480 And then secondarily, I know that this will be a project that people will get to see.

00:39:34.340 And it's going to be something that's, I mean, it sounds crazy.

00:39:38.720 I don't even know if I can talk about it or not.

00:39:40.420 But, I mean, it's just going to be seemingly bonkers.

00:39:45.500 And to think that I would get to do this, you know, and I'd have to be out there, you know, like, and it's not a money thing, man.

00:39:56.800 Dude, it's not that at all.

00:40:01.980 But I hope to be able to make it up to each person that we'll have to reschedule the shows.

00:40:07.880 I hope that you know that.

00:40:11.280 And with all that said, right now let's go into this advertisement.

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00:44:59.800 Let's take another call here.

00:45:02.820 Theo, it's your boys, Austin and Logan.

00:45:06.080 We're calling you from Colorado, right?

00:45:09.200 Austin and Logan.

00:45:10.820 Ted Theodore Logan.

00:45:13.440 Austin and Logan calling you from Colorado.

00:45:16.180 Thank you for calling, boys, out there in Colorado, and you're probably on them, I'm guessing them little bears, them gummy bears they got, that DSB or whatever.

00:45:28.540 Onward.

00:45:29.080 Right now on a cross-country road trip from California to Florida, we've been listening to your show to pass the time, the long hours on the road.

00:45:38.260 and you have a lot of themes going on in your in your shows but one of the ones that we're really

00:45:45.260 we're really noticing is uh living in gratitude and um we're just super grateful to be able to

00:45:52.140 share this experience with each other and and go across the country and see these amazing places

00:45:57.780 and all different kinds of people and all walks of life and uh you're right there with us you

00:46:02.780 know the whole way so we just want to say thanks and uh you're making us realize you know you're

00:46:08.200 putting that in the forefront of our heads to live in gratitude and be grateful for everything

00:46:13.360 that we have and everything we're able to do. Gang, man, I appreciate that. I appreciate that

00:46:21.100 call. Thank you, guys, man. I hope you're traveling safe out there. I hope he's wearing

00:46:27.460 your seatbelts, too, because that'll get you. A lot of people think you could just not wear

00:46:32.700 a seatbelt and, you know, have you a 36-ounce cold on. That'll stop you if you're in an

00:46:37.520 accident nah bro that way if that's the case bro you're just gonna die and and you're gonna smell 0.93

00:46:44.360 like dr pepper dog you feel me which actually ain't that bad dude if somebody's at your wake 0.99

00:46:49.700 or something they walk by the coffin and they get that hit they're like damn what is that boy 0.58

00:46:55.400 mountain don't bro wear your seat belt um or but also also drink a drink you know because i'll be 0.66

00:47:06.100 If you are at a funeral and you walk by that dead body, you get that hit of Mr. Pibb, bruh, you know, that'll make somebody just really grin a little.

00:47:17.560 You know, one thing that's funny, man, I've been really struggling with living in gratitude, man.

00:47:23.560 And man, it's been pain.

00:47:24.620 That's been really painful for me.

00:47:26.160 you know and that's

00:47:33.040 it's one of the things I've realized

00:47:35.780 that some just

00:47:37.580 that work was

00:47:38.560 that I just had was doing too much work man

00:47:41.540 you know I felt exhausted

00:47:45.900 I felt like the things that I was doing

00:47:48.040 didn't even matter to me

00:47:49.240 even though they were exactly what I wanted to be doing

00:47:51.400 and it was just

00:47:55.280 that was i don't know man uh it was just uh and and it was hard for me to be grateful for things

00:48:02.060 and i quit doing some of my gratitude lists in the morning and um

00:48:05.840 and so thank you man for reminding me because this morning i woke up and did it uh

00:48:12.500 you know this morning i woke up and did one and i woke up and did a meditation and i woke up and

00:48:18.440 did a little bit of um you know just hitting my knees and just the serenity prayer you know

00:48:25.260 because I've just been feeling even though

00:48:28.660 it's funny

00:48:30.700 even though I've had more people in my life than ever

00:48:32.320 I've been feeling almost a little bit more alone

00:48:34.400 and so

00:48:36.100 but I'm keen on getting back into things

00:48:38.840 man and thank you guys for the call

00:48:40.560 and I know

00:48:42.780 whatever I focus my energy on will grow bigger

00:48:44.740 in my life

00:48:45.360 but that makes me feel

00:48:49.000 good that that was

00:48:49.520 that's been a theme in the past

00:48:52.980 man, gratitude

00:48:54.620 uh you know that makes me feel like at one point i was really really on a good path and i'm okay

00:49:02.040 everything's fine i just i just gotta read i just gotta calibrate a little so but gang bro you guys

00:49:10.240 be safe out there dude and get a mr pib bro put that belt on and get a mr pib dog you know think

00:49:16.420 about others you don't want somebody walking past your funeral and all they get is a hit of uh

00:49:22.340 you know um old spice deodorants so gang bro let's take another call right here

00:49:30.820 actually you know what let's hit this uh this patreon right here uh thank you for our patreon

00:49:36.900 supporters um this patreon question comes in jay uh tito lebowitz which is better the original

00:49:50.900 Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory or the remake Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.

00:49:55.420 I don't even need to finish that one.

00:49:57.100 The original. 0.99

00:49:58.940 Dude, when you have little Charlie rolls up and they got four senior citizens. 0.90

00:50:04.400 Grandpa Joe and his little harem, bruh. 1.00

00:50:06.820 And they all wearing dirty nightgowns, sleeping in one bed.

00:50:12.100 Come on, boy.

00:50:15.780 That's like, I mean, that thing is the closest thing we've seen to Noah's Ark.

00:50:20.180 Dude, when all four of them got, look at all Grandpa Joe's nightgown. 1.00

00:50:24.180 That bitch is dirty, bruh. 1.00

00:50:27.500 Dude, if anybody, there'd be more chocolate in a factory if Grandpa Joe hadn't been snacking on a couple. 1.00

00:50:35.480 Dude, and it's crazy seeing four senior citizens in dirty nightgowns all laying there together. 1.00

00:50:40.460 That shit is everything. 1.00

00:50:42.200 It's erotic and it's, you know, it's like early UFC almost kind of. 1.00

00:50:47.060 There's something wild about it.

00:50:48.940 But right there, Tito, which is also one of the best names ever, Tito Leibovitz, is that one right there, the original.

00:50:58.640 Dude, the original.

00:50:59.820 What they did in the original without all the CGI and all the magical effects.

00:51:05.380 Now that was creativity.

00:51:10.260 And here's one from Jammy Star.

00:51:13.360 Would you upload your consciousness to live on after you die, gang?

00:51:18.340 That's a good question.

00:51:25.400 I don't know.

00:51:28.120 My consciousness.

00:51:30.500 Because then you'd just be sitting alive somewhere in a tank.

00:51:35.620 I would let my consciousness be alive if it could be in like a wishing well.

00:51:39.260 You know, like a tank where people could throw money in and wish.

00:51:41.960 I think that'd be cool.

00:51:43.980 Because then you could see their wishes go by and you could know that people are still hopeful.

00:51:48.160 I think that would make me feel pretty excited.

00:51:50.940 But if you're just putting my consciousness 0.99

00:51:52.420 out like a damn footlocker or something, 0.99

00:51:55.180 then I don't care about all of that. 0.99

00:51:57.460 You know, I don't want to be in there

00:51:58.380 with people just trying on, you know,

00:52:00.600 you know, the new Steph Curry the Thirds or whatever.

00:52:03.160 I don't give a dang.

00:52:04.540 Let's take another call here.

00:52:08.140 Leo, this is Ian from Chicago.

00:52:11.720 What's up, Ian?

00:52:13.140 Over there in Chicago, baby, Illinois.

00:52:15.680 And, man, that's a beautiful law, beautiful state, man.

00:52:20.820 Dude, if you think about states, bro, and you think, man, where are the good ones at?

00:52:27.380 It's hard not to stop thinking whenever you get to Illinois.

00:52:31.220 Onward.

00:52:32.020 Just wanted to thank you for all you do for single moms and dads, but I want to make sure you know that you've been a positive force for us married fathers, too.

00:52:40.160 I married my college sweetheart, and we have six kids who are 10 years apart.

00:52:46.900 Dang.

00:52:50.180 Dude, that is continued sexual.

00:52:53.700 That's what that's called. 0.79

00:52:55.420 When you have six kids 10 years apart, that means you guys continued to have sex.

00:53:03.240 Boy, that's continued sexual.

00:53:05.300 And that's brave, I feel like.

00:53:07.640 a lot of couples they have sex you know for two years three years get the kids and then they 0.97

00:53:16.320 retreat to their neutral corners you know and you know masturbate in a shower or something or sneak 0.98

00:53:23.200 off every now and then to russia or something but if you're doing continued sexual boy over 0.99

00:53:31.000 10 years let me give you that and you think that's clapping no that's you still smacking 0.98

00:53:41.280 i'm gonna have to let my neighbor loose bro let him hang outside of your window

00:53:50.200 let's hear more having teenagers and young adults is really hard in today's world it's

00:53:58.680 Oh, hell yeah, dude.

00:53:59.860 I've been to 7-Eleven, and there's always teenagers and young adults 1.00

00:54:02.560 hanging outside of that bitch, vaping and just, you know, doing bullshit. 1.00

00:54:10.220 Gang, onward. 1.00

00:54:11.880 Full social media and Instagram and Snapchat,

00:54:15.640 and there isn't a whole lot that my kids want to talk to me about.

00:54:18.800 What I've come to really enjoy is the common bond that your podcast

00:54:23.060 allows us to talk and laugh about during the week.

00:54:26.740 they all listen to it we all enjoy it and it really is a common bond for us growing up in

00:54:34.640 the 70s the common bond with my dad was sports and my kids aren't into sports they're oh man

00:54:40.920 yeah it's got to be a little hectic sometimes if the kids aren't into sports and you are

00:54:45.320 that's got to be tough and then you got to adapt too if you're the father you have to adapt you

00:54:53.300 now. Let's hear a little more of your call. Thanks.

00:54:57.220 Their interests are all over the place. Computers, music, photography, art. So I feel very fortunate

00:55:05.620 to have your weekly podcast to talk to them about around the dinner table. I also love

00:55:12.160 all the positive messages that you weave into your funny stories. I think that sometimes

00:55:17.240 gets gets lost and uh everybody laughing around the table but we all come to recognize and love

00:55:23.560 the the very positive messages that you have around gratitude and and life in general so

00:55:28.840 so thank you and uh just to make my kids cringe if they hear this gang gang thank you dang boy

00:55:36.560 dad hit him with that good good boy that's what i'm talking about papa daddy's sneaking in bro

00:55:44.720 huh that's a savage move bro dude if you hitting your kids with a gang

00:55:50.900 that's like when your son's about to get a little better than you know

00:55:56.060 that significant other you feel me and you sneak in and put you know massage his shoulders right

00:56:03.740 before he puts on that condom you feel man that's beautiful brother man wow 0.99

00:56:09.040 wow bro you should be in a museum if you've been doing continued sexual with your lady over a 0.99

00:56:18.160 decade bro you're probably in the one you're probably in the two percent of americans that 1.00

00:56:22.960 are doing that most guys they buy their wife that machine even someone get that cheap one the gas 0.91

00:56:29.160 powered one with that you know with that electric hitter on the front and that's it they never you

00:56:35.420 They see their wife at mealtime, and that's it, and the kid's graduations.

00:56:40.860 Otherwise, every now and then, she just puts an empty gas can outside of her room door

00:56:45.320 and lets you know that she is doing okay.

00:56:53.820 No, look, I'm glad that you guys listen, man.

00:56:59.440 I think it's interesting because I get little pieces of family,

00:57:02.400 and I get little pieces of, you know, one of the reasons why I even let the voicemail go all the way

00:57:10.260 when I was listening was because I wanted to just hear a dad's voice.

00:57:14.820 You know, I made that thought in my head real fast.

00:57:16.880 I said, okay, well, I appreciate the guy's message and I can talk about it now.

00:57:21.560 And then my head said, well, you know, this is a father's voice.

00:57:24.620 So why don't you just listen to it because you don't get that all the time.

00:57:27.540 and um and so thanks man i get to live vicariously uh through you know images of you guys's lives

00:57:38.320 that i don't get in my own life and so you know thinking about what my father how he would

00:57:44.920 describe me or what my interests were uh you know when hearing somebody that cares this you know

00:57:51.800 that much about their kids you know you try to describe a couple other different interests and

00:57:56.120 not just say, you know, that they're all over the place.

00:57:58.660 You know, you cared enough to extrapolate on what they like to do.

00:58:06.800 You know, it's cool.

00:58:08.180 It makes me wonder how my dad would be or what he would say or what he would do

00:58:11.300 or, you know, or if he and I would bond over listening to some, you know,

00:58:20.040 some guy, some Muppet who's just rattling on every week.

00:58:26.120 But thank you, man.

00:58:28.400 I appreciate that.

00:58:29.180 Sweet of you to call.

00:58:30.480 And it's nice that you still care enough.

00:58:32.940 I think that that's a challenge these days, probably,

00:58:35.360 is just continuing to find ways to relate to your kids

00:58:37.940 and not be disappointed if you can't and not give up if you can't.

00:58:43.100 Oh, I saw this guy last night feeding his kids food,

00:58:46.640 and the kids were dressed like they were at this fancy sushi place.

00:58:49.940 They're not even paying attention.

00:58:50.980 He's got two kids, both of them wearing white shirts.

00:58:53.800 They looked kind of like a little bit of like maybe Latino or Latino Hebrew, but like fancy, fancy Latino, not like Mexicano.

00:59:03.200 I'm talking about like, you know, like Pablo Escobar's little boys, you know, they're both wearing collared shirts. 0.85

00:59:10.100 The dad's over there picking his teeth with something, probably the bone of a poor person, you know, and and the kids reminded me of the Menendez boys. 0.89

00:59:19.320 I said oh damn you know sashimi today uh you know sashimi today but um and probably murder 0.95

00:59:30.560 tomorrow this boy I could just see in 15 years that these boys was probably gonna be doing crime 0.99

00:59:35.500 against their own family they had that Menendez brothers vibe to them so um but yeah that's

00:59:44.560 beautiful man you got a nice family you got to spend time together and do stuff I could imagine

00:59:48.440 that people's junk is all over probably you got six kids dude that's 12 chances to slip on a

00:59:57.260 roller skate bro when you're just in the middle of the night trying to go get a little glass of

01:00:01.500 milk or something or um you know maybe a little pop tart or something without the frosting on it

01:00:07.580 i like them plain people look at me weird i do so you know and i guess i'm just happy that i'm

01:00:14.040 not tearing families apart you know I guess I have I'm glad I haven't had to testify on like

01:00:19.700 one of those Judge Judys or something you know or uh or anything like that um but but thanks for

01:00:28.380 calling in I really appreciate it and and at some point you and your family will be able to go see

01:00:33.660 uh this movie man you know I guess I mean I'm really scared about it you know it's a lot of

01:00:40.760 risk like just not knowing like what exactly is going to happen um or you know how it will all go

01:00:48.800 down uh but i'm just trying to be confident about it and hopeful about it um but that would be

01:00:56.100 something funny though that you guys could go see me and laugh at that i hope i'm gonna try to best

01:01:00.800 my best to make uh you know make the the guy that i'm you know uh you know being in the movie just

01:01:09.100 like a good guy and make him you know uh and just represent us as good as i can man and represent

01:01:16.040 tpw i got this new rat king hitter actually as well we got some new merchandise coming out this

01:01:20.680 weekend um but thank you guys man i'm getting my brain's getting a little bit uh shook right now

01:01:26.900 uh you know and i want to apologize again for having to adjust the dates and those are to be

01:01:33.400 decided and um and you'll be emailed about them um but you know i hope that uh you know you be

01:01:42.480 patient with me and let me get back to you and and bring you a good show and the best show um

01:01:49.580 you know i think there's i i think that

01:01:53.580 i think that if i can just get some of this stress out of my system then i'll be back into a better

01:02:00.440 place i mean my life's changed so much in the past year it's been hard man it's been beautiful

01:02:05.480 and awesome but uh but there's a cost like for everything it's like you know i didn't realize

01:02:11.100 that i was just stacking a lot of just uh just you know just been a lot of stress and not even

01:02:18.880 realizing it man i didn't realize what uh how intense it is and how much um just how much

01:02:26.960 electricity's gotten in my fur really i know i keep saying that but that's just how i feel

01:02:31.780 i feel like if i was at a petting zoo man i would say look we this animal's got to be in the back

01:02:36.700 for a couple weeks because he uh we've been getting complaints you know we've we've been

01:02:43.400 getting complaints um but i want to go longer but uh

01:02:52.340 but i just feel i don't know i guess i feel a little bit ashamed of myself too

01:02:59.620 uh that i'm canceling the dates or that i'm rescheduling them so um

01:03:05.100 but but i'll be back i'll be there we'll figure it out you know we figured out a lot bigger

01:03:14.360 things than this i feel uh and thank you guys for your uh for calling in and and uh and for

01:03:21.760 the calls as always on the hotline uh 985-664-9503 uh we'll get into some deeper stuff uh next time

01:03:30.140 when i just have my wits um a little bit thicker and um and that's it i'll tell you guys more as

01:03:36.740 i know more and uh and that's it man you guys be good to yourselves um and thanks for being uh good

01:03:45.300 to me over over these past few weeks man i've just been uh man i've just been like a

01:03:52.120 just like a rattle you know just no snake in all rattle baby

01:03:58.300 I'm just sitting on your front porch

01:04:16.260 Be patient

01:04:16.800 Be brave, man

01:04:28.300 Be creative.

01:04:34.300 Have fun.

01:04:58.300 A little time

01:05:01.200 For me to set that parking brake

01:05:05.200 Ladies and gentlemen, I'm Jonathan Kite, and welcome to Kite Club,

01:05:11.260 a podcast where I'll be sharing thoughts on things like current events,

01:05:14.920 stand-up stories, and seven ways to pleasure your partner.

01:05:18.660 The answer may shock you.

01:05:20.380 Sometimes I'll interview my friends.

01:05:22.440 Sometimes I won't.

01:05:23.960 And as always, I'll be joined by the voices in my head.

01:05:26.820 You have three new voice messages.

01:05:30.060 A lot of people are talking about Kite Club.

01:05:32.980 I've been talking about Kite Club for so long.

01:05:35.660 Longer than anybody else.

01:05:37.280 So great.

01:05:38.640 Hi, sweetheart.

01:05:40.320 Here's a deal. 1.00

01:05:41.580 Anyone who doesn't listen to Kite Club is a dodgy bloody wanker. 1.00

01:05:45.580 Jermaine. 0.99

01:05:46.820 Hi, I'll take a quarter pounder with cheese and a McFlurry.

01:05:50.640 Sorry, sir, but our ice cream machine is broken.

01:05:52.740 Oh, no.

01:05:54.220 I think Tom Hanks just butt-dialed me.

01:05:57.280 Anyway, first rule of Kite Club is, tell everyone about Kite Club.

01:06:01.600 Second rule of Kite Club is, tell everyone about Kite Club.

01:06:05.840 Third rule, like and subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts, or watch us on YouTube, yeah?

01:06:11.600 And yes, don't worry, my Brad Pitt impression will get better.

This Past Weekend with Theo Von - August 19, 2019

Fifty Cent Sniffs ｜ This Past Weekend #224

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