This Past Weekend with Theo Von - Looking for Keys in My Subconscious

00:00:00.000 sorry we're late we're late dude i hate i hate being late man i hate being late but

00:00:10.520 i'm always late dude i'm late for everything i'm all dude when you show up late you gotta make

00:00:20.240 you gotta make up for it i think that's one of the reasons i i kind of maybe when i was young

00:00:27.640 that i became like kind of you know gregarious or god everything's going wrong today i think that

00:00:36.860 was one of the reasons why i became like um like you had to develop a person you know you had to

00:00:41.980 develop like uh you know be you know entertaining to people or because you were late dog if you're

00:00:51.060 late bro you fucking better make people happy fast man you know like i just because you have to get

00:01:00.400 there and be like oh you know you guys got here early and they're like fuck no we didn't you're late

00:01:07.760 motherfucker and uh but anyway well sorry i'm late dude uh but let's see if um if i can make it up to

00:01:18.780 thank you thank you guys for your patience uh let's see what's going on

00:01:21.900 celebrate living celebrate misery

00:01:41.280 you know that soon we're gonna die

00:01:47.280 let's have some fun while we all die

00:01:54.400 celebrate dark days celebrate all your pain

00:02:02.900 let's have some fun while we all die

00:02:15.460 there you go and that is celebrate that is the uh that's the spencer jacob grau band g-r-a-u

00:02:28.820 and uh and that's a wild last name grow

00:02:34.220 you know some people you know we used to have a boy boss named danny boom

00:02:42.640 last name was boom some people's names there are sounds their last names might be sounds

00:02:49.240 you know or even their first name might be pop

00:02:52.100 we had this old dude uh used to coach t-ball

00:02:57.380 and his name was pop yorgan

00:02:59.140 pop yorgan

00:03:01.260 and he was uh his first name was a sound you know pop

00:03:04.860 boom danny boom

00:03:06.580 you know

00:03:08.380 uh larry splat they had the splats used to live about four blocks down from us

00:03:13.680 larry splat and his family

00:03:15.760 and the funny thing about them was they were real real thin

00:03:20.900 so it almost seemed like they'd fall the whole family had just fallen off of something

00:03:25.900 just landed and kind of just

00:03:27.200 you know larry splat

00:03:29.020 like that

00:03:30.500 but

00:03:31.240 so some people have sound names

00:03:34.400 and that that man who made that song for us is one of those maybe spencer jacob grau

00:03:39.620 even though it's g-r-a-u

00:03:42.180 so that's probably dutch i think

00:03:44.680 and um it's not growl

00:03:47.700 you know

00:03:49.040 we used to have this uh we had a teacher when i was in

00:03:52.520 seventh sixth grade or something

00:03:54.420 named barb growl

00:03:55.900 and uh

00:03:57.960 and that's it so that's an interesting last name

00:04:00.400 barb you know last name growl

00:04:02.780 miss growl

00:04:04.360 because it sounds especially when you're a kid

00:04:06.300 if you hear that your teacher next year is going to be miss growl

00:04:10.860 you're like growl

00:04:13.200 that's scary

00:04:15.520 that's scary

00:04:19.220 that's like you know

00:04:21.300 who's your teacher miss murder

00:04:23.560 miss donitra murder

00:04:26.260 you're like damn

00:04:29.240 i got miss murder and miss growl

00:04:32.360 i am

00:04:34.420 but yeah some of them people can have an interesting first name or last name

00:04:41.440 pop

00:04:41.900 larry splat

00:04:43.040 uh

00:04:43.920 uh

00:04:44.420 danny boom

00:04:46.420 latisha

00:04:48.420 murder

00:04:49.300 no

00:04:49.840 dunny uh

00:04:50.760 i forgot that lady's name

00:04:51.840 um

00:04:52.820 barb growl

00:04:54.500 interesting names

00:04:55.720 man i'm like you know i get in with some of these fits sometimes man i came in a fit today

00:05:01.900 i don't want to talk to anybody

00:05:03.740 i don't want anybody fucking looking at me

00:05:07.760 i don't want nobody touching me

00:05:10.700 dude sometimes you don't

00:05:12.920 dude i feel bad for the person that touches you when you don't want somebody touching you

00:05:18.200 there's probably about

00:05:20.380 usually 30 minutes in my week

00:05:23.080 where i don't want nobody touching me

00:05:26.140 yeah

00:05:26.680 don't touch me

00:05:28.780 and somebody

00:05:31.360 some

00:05:32.380 fucking

00:05:33.480 grabby mc

00:05:34.820 fucking

00:05:35.460 reacherson

00:05:36.660 will touch me

00:05:38.800 and don't

00:05:42.260 i turn into fucking barb growl real quick boy

00:05:46.340 i start just barb growling at people

00:05:48.800 and i'll turn into fucking miss donitra murder

00:05:51.560 don't even do that boy

00:05:54.440 or i'm gonna larry splat your ass

00:05:56.660 donny

00:05:57.100 boom

00:05:58.680 danny boom

00:05:59.800 all right that's when i lose it bro

00:06:03.580 that's when i lose it

00:06:05.080 and today was one of those days man i came in here

00:06:07.560 everything was fucking

00:06:09.860 everything you know

00:06:10.560 the studio's all a mess

00:06:12.540 it just looked like a damn trap house

00:06:14.400 it's just

00:06:14.820 it's just

00:06:15.700 you know and it just

00:06:18.020 i came in and

00:06:19.560 i just wasn't in a good mood

00:06:20.960 but it didn't help

00:06:21.700 that was the problem

00:06:22.500 i didn't try to help the scenario

00:06:24.440 i just kind of complained at nick

00:06:26.800 and uh

00:06:28.640 and

00:06:30.920 you know i just

00:06:34.260 whatever

00:06:35.120 you know that's where i'm at

00:06:36.400 that's where i'm at

00:06:38.160 but

00:06:40.660 i'm grateful to be here today

00:06:42.420 to at least get that off my chest

00:06:43.600 and just say what's going on

00:06:44.860 and i had a long night

00:06:46.500 you know i had a long night man

00:06:49.520 i um

00:06:50.240 you know i like

00:06:52.280 here's one thing i look forward to

00:06:53.520 at night time

00:06:54.300 i look forward at night time

00:06:57.320 oh just to finish my

00:06:59.560 my thought from earlier

00:07:00.600 if you are late

00:07:01.880 then you have to

00:07:03.700 have some semblance of

00:07:05.300 communication really

00:07:06.360 you know you have to develop

00:07:07.520 um

00:07:07.980 uh

00:07:09.420 i think people that are late

00:07:10.840 can sometimes develop the ability

00:07:12.100 to be entertainers

00:07:13.100 because you have to make up

00:07:14.780 for the

00:07:15.320 your absence

00:07:16.500 you know you gotta cut a couple of jokes

00:07:19.220 or do something you know

00:07:20.260 tickle somebody's ass a little

00:07:22.240 or do something you know

00:07:23.480 you gotta fucking

00:07:25.060 you know lightly pin

00:07:26.620 you know

00:07:26.980 you gotta whistle it

00:07:29.060 on the back of somebody's neck

00:07:30.440 real softly

00:07:31.100 just

00:07:31.400 boy

00:07:32.840 fucking hailing cabs

00:07:35.000 off the back of somebody's

00:07:36.120 fucking upper

00:07:36.860 lumbar dog

00:07:38.300 on that neck

00:07:39.000 you blow on somebody's neck

00:07:40.500 boy

00:07:40.880 my god boy

00:07:45.220 make that cartilage

00:07:46.540 make a lot of cartilage

00:07:47.880 show up in my wiener

00:07:48.920 suddenly

00:07:49.320 if somebody

00:07:49.920 you blow on my neck

00:07:51.460 boy

00:07:51.780 make a lot of cartilage

00:07:54.960 show up in my wiener area

00:07:56.340 but this is what i'm saying here

00:07:59.060 is that

00:08:00.380 i had a long night

00:08:01.500 and i look forward to night time

00:08:04.600 bro

00:08:04.800 dude look

00:08:05.400 i look forward to night time

00:08:07.560 because i get to rest

00:08:08.980 and i get to dream

00:08:11.440 and i like doing

00:08:13.980 those things

00:08:15.200 so here's what happened to me

00:08:18.520 i had a dream

00:08:19.360 that my fucking

00:08:20.680 neighbor

00:08:21.940 and let's be honest

00:08:25.100 a neighbor

00:08:25.920 is just somebody

00:08:27.200 who

00:08:27.560 bothers you

00:08:28.700 that's close as fuck

00:08:30.580 that's where i'm at today

00:08:36.980 i'm just fucking

00:08:37.580 i just want to make sounds like that

00:08:40.820 larry's flat

00:08:47.440 barb growl

00:08:49.080 that's how i'm feeling

00:08:51.100 so my neighbor

00:08:52.700 i had a dream

00:08:53.460 and my neighbor

00:08:54.600 lost their

00:08:55.980 car keys

00:08:57.620 and wanted me to help look for them

00:09:00.740 so i'm all ready to have a dream

00:09:03.860 you know

00:09:04.380 but in the dream

00:09:05.840 not in real life

00:09:06.720 in my dream

00:09:07.720 but dude

00:09:09.180 i spent my

00:09:10.140 whole

00:09:11.000 dream

00:09:12.100 helping them

00:09:13.780 find their

00:09:14.600 fucking

00:09:15.220 keys

00:09:16.560 their car keys

00:09:20.600 and here was the worst part

00:09:22.720 at the end

00:09:23.280 they had sold their car

00:09:25.540 somehow

00:09:26.040 you know how dreams are

00:09:27.840 suddenly something just fucking

00:09:29.480 happened

00:09:29.920 you know

00:09:30.340 you know

00:09:31.540 you know how dreams are

00:09:32.540 you were you know

00:09:33.320 you'll be in a dream

00:09:34.180 you'll order a glass of lemonade

00:09:35.720 next thing you know

00:09:36.320 you're fucking

00:09:36.740 you know

00:09:38.020 you're on mount rushmore

00:09:39.060 it's like

00:09:39.480 so this whole night

00:09:41.460 my entire night

00:09:42.820 i'm helping my

00:09:43.820 neighbor

00:09:44.760 whose apartment smelled like

00:09:47.220 liver and onions

00:09:48.540 i'm helping them look for their

00:09:51.120 car keys

00:09:52.060 then

00:09:53.200 finally

00:09:54.260 i can't even remember if we got them or not

00:09:55.520 but they realized that they had sold their car

00:09:57.700 so that was my whole

00:09:59.680 so that's my night's sleep

00:10:01.240 so not

00:10:03.240 i had

00:10:03.560 not only you know

00:10:04.520 and i woke up probably four or five times

00:10:06.300 so not only did i not

00:10:07.520 get the rest i wanted

00:10:08.960 but

00:10:09.760 the dream i'm getting

00:10:11.080 i have to work during it

00:10:12.680 i had to work during my whole dream

00:10:14.640 helping somebody

00:10:16.060 look for car keys

00:10:17.800 to a car they sold

00:10:19.780 in a vast expanse of liver and onion smell

00:10:24.040 and man

00:10:25.980 so i showed up today

00:10:28.560 and i was just kind of chirped out

00:10:30.340 i was kind of chirped out

00:10:32.600 so that's where i'm at

00:10:35.420 dude i like to have a dream where i can relax

00:10:37.820 you know

00:10:38.940 have a pineapple pop

00:10:40.580 have a um

00:10:41.420 you know a couple of

00:10:43.420 maybe you know

00:10:44.360 some cheesy breads or something

00:10:45.860 chill out

00:10:46.660 go on a plane ride

00:10:48.780 but like a real slow plane

00:10:51.260 that's calm

00:10:53.120 that's calm calm calm

00:10:54.020 calm calm

00:10:55.340 a calm plane

00:10:57.240 so that's what i like

00:10:59.660 and

00:11:00.440 and then

00:11:00.920 but if i gotta stay up all night in my dream

00:11:03.000 i gotta be dreaming

00:11:04.020 that i'm fucking looking for your keys

00:11:06.120 and you ain't even got a

00:11:08.040 fucking car

00:11:09.300 you animal

00:11:09.940 then that makes me mad

00:11:13.140 i feel like i got taken advantage of a little bit

00:11:15.160 so

00:11:17.560 so that's where i'm at

00:11:18.960 uh

00:11:19.240 i'll give you a little update on life

00:11:22.040 on my side

00:11:23.140 um

00:11:24.720 oh i saw gerard butler this weekend again

00:11:27.240 at the comedy store

00:11:28.860 and uh

00:11:30.560 and he was super nice

00:11:32.140 man he talked about

00:11:32.920 we chatted after the show for a little bit

00:11:36.140 and i've seen him before here and there

00:11:37.980 we have a mutual friend

00:11:38.900 and

00:11:39.180 um

00:11:40.140 and uh

00:11:42.180 and

00:11:43.940 he had lost his house

00:11:45.620 he had lost his malibu home in the fire

00:11:48.040 in one of the fires out here

00:11:49.720 and he was telling me

00:11:52.280 that

00:11:53.360 um

00:11:55.020 you know he was upset

00:11:56.340 it was obviously devastating

00:11:57.780 but that

00:11:58.980 you know suddenly he had to get a new place

00:12:01.820 and and right around the same time

00:12:03.520 he and a girlfriend

00:12:04.480 uh

00:12:04.940 his girlfriend had split up

00:12:06.740 and so

00:12:07.180 suddenly his house is gone

00:12:08.900 his girlfriend

00:12:09.800 is gone

00:12:11.220 and he

00:12:12.500 had to rent a new house

00:12:14.460 um

00:12:15.400 and you know obviously he's blessed to be able to have the ability to

00:12:18.980 you know just rent a new house

00:12:20.340 but

00:12:20.640 um

00:12:21.660 he just said you know he had kind of a positive attitude

00:12:23.940 he said you know it's just like

00:12:24.980 he kind of got forced into like a new experience

00:12:27.520 and

00:12:28.760 and he was just kind of rolling with the punches

00:12:31.200 um

00:12:32.600 so I thought it was just kind of an interesting take on

00:12:35.020 you know on a real tragedy

00:12:36.500 but uh

00:12:37.860 but that was interesting

00:12:39.080 I saw him at this comedy store this weekend

00:12:41.140 I had an eye infection all weekend

00:12:43.740 or

00:12:44.140 you know we're shooting the pilot last week

00:12:46.700 and I'm gonna put some clips up on Patreon today

00:12:49.240 from

00:12:49.500 and some images from the pilot shoot

00:12:51.160 but we're shooting the um

00:12:52.820 this comedy central pilot

00:12:54.300 which is based on the podcast

00:12:57.620 how awesome is that

00:12:59.040 man I'm so grateful

00:13:01.660 I couldn't even

00:13:02.100 the

00:13:02.660 it's based on the podcast

00:13:04.120 so

00:13:05.940 the podcast

00:13:07.620 you know it's

00:13:08.140 people that have called into the podcast

00:13:09.660 you know

00:13:10.980 wanting to talk about an issue that they're dealing with

00:13:13.340 or sharing something that's going on in their life

00:13:15.560 or expressing concern for a friend or family member

00:13:18.600 and now we are taking those

00:13:21.340 calls

00:13:22.240 and meeting with those people in real life

00:13:24.340 and going out and helping find

00:13:26.880 um

00:13:27.320 not solution

00:13:28.680 because I don't know

00:13:29.460 you know I don't really have any solution

00:13:30.680 but

00:13:30.940 helping be a part of their lives

00:13:33.120 um

00:13:34.240 and just letting those people know that I care

00:13:36.840 and that somebody cares

00:13:37.760 and that we care

00:13:38.540 you know

00:13:39.400 so that's really really cool

00:13:40.620 that

00:13:40.960 now

00:13:41.900 you know

00:13:42.960 this community that we started here

00:13:44.500 it could potentially be a show

00:13:46.880 you know

00:13:47.240 it could potentially be a real show

00:13:48.600 and there's a couple episodes

00:13:49.680 and that's called

00:13:50.480 Man Up

00:13:51.280 that are on YouTube

00:13:52.580 but now we're making a few more

00:13:55.500 and we got some good stars in

00:13:57.300 Joey Diaz

00:13:58.220 Coco

00:13:58.720 Coxsucker

00:13:59.580 he came out and helped out

00:14:01.860 me and him got in a sweat lodge

00:14:03.600 um

00:14:04.700 and

00:14:06.300 uh

00:14:08.020 and who else

00:14:08.660 John Lovitz

00:14:09.660 you know

00:14:11.040 he came out

00:14:12.080 um

00:14:13.080 who else

00:14:14.080 we might have Jim Jeffries

00:14:15.100 we gotta do one more episode

00:14:16.200 but anyhow

00:14:17.020 the makeup

00:14:17.640 they had a makeup lady working the first day

00:14:19.800 and she

00:14:22.120 I mean

00:14:23.840 one thing I like about

00:14:25.300 whoever does that

00:14:26.380 if I work on a

00:14:27.280 on a project

00:14:28.300 or

00:14:28.740 I say project

00:14:30.160 like I'm some kind of fucking

00:14:31.240 actor

00:14:32.440 if I work on one of these deals bro

00:14:34.200 and they

00:14:35.460 what I like is

00:14:36.500 the person that does the hair

00:14:38.000 or the makeup

00:14:38.500 if they have a good

00:14:40.200 energy

00:14:40.760 and a fun

00:14:41.620 vibe

00:14:42.180 then that really starts my day off well

00:14:44.600 because if you

00:14:45.340 whenever you go on a set

00:14:46.720 on one of these

00:14:47.300 on a set of a

00:14:48.700 taping

00:14:49.380 you know

00:14:50.820 the first person you go see

00:14:51.800 is hair and makeup

00:14:52.520 you know

00:14:54.020 and hair

00:14:54.480 damn dude

00:14:55.040 good luck with this

00:14:56.080 with this fucking

00:14:57.860 this straight up

00:14:59.980 man

00:15:00.180 this shit is

00:15:00.640 straight up

00:15:01.060 my shit's getting Brazilian dude

00:15:02.840 my shit is getting

00:15:04.340 straight up

00:15:05.160 Amazonian

00:15:06.400 I mean

00:15:07.560 I'm gonna be selling weed

00:15:08.620 on the beach soon

00:15:09.720 um

00:15:11.060 but

00:15:12.220 the first

00:15:13.060 the first thing you do

00:15:13.700 you go to the hair and makeup chair

00:15:14.620 so

00:15:14.920 and if that person has a fun energy

00:15:16.840 and a good energy and shit

00:15:17.900 then it's great

00:15:18.580 the day is great

00:15:19.740 you know

00:15:20.000 because that lifts you off

00:15:21.460 so anyhow

00:15:22.720 the makeup person was

00:15:24.460 just

00:15:24.880 to me

00:15:25.440 was kinda dull

00:15:27.040 and

00:15:28.460 but even worse than that

00:15:29.920 whenever they were

00:15:31.280 putting makeup

00:15:31.840 around my eyes

00:15:32.860 and look dude

00:15:33.900 don't look at me

00:15:35.160 like I'm wearing

00:15:35.600 a bunch of makeup

00:15:36.320 man

00:15:36.600 I don't wear makeup

00:15:37.900 you know

00:15:39.180 the only thing

00:15:40.420 I've ever had on my face

00:15:41.380 most of my life

00:15:42.020 is acne

00:15:42.520 when I was young

00:15:43.880 acne

00:15:45.160 or my big nose

00:15:46.340 outside of that

00:15:47.540 bro

00:15:47.820 that's the only thing

00:15:49.040 you find on my face

00:15:50.200 except maybe

00:15:51.380 you know

00:15:52.580 a little bit of chocolate

00:15:53.480 around my mouth

00:15:54.500 if I have like a chocolate

00:15:55.560 in a hurry

00:15:56.200 and I'm not being real careful

00:15:58.020 so

00:15:59.740 so anyhow

00:16:01.940 this lady was kinda dull

00:16:04.200 but I think one of the tools

00:16:05.400 she used

00:16:06.060 to put the makeup on

00:16:07.080 or something

00:16:07.520 they had dirty

00:16:08.820 you know

00:16:09.500 they had dirty

00:16:10.920 tools

00:16:12.200 you know

00:16:13.120 like I don't know

00:16:13.580 if she's out there

00:16:14.120 sharing needles

00:16:14.980 or something

00:16:15.500 with other makeup people

00:16:16.780 you know

00:16:17.880 if she's out there

00:16:18.400 in the fucking back alley

00:16:19.520 in these

00:16:19.920 in these L'Oreal back alleys

00:16:21.860 I don't know

00:16:22.700 if she's been in these

00:16:23.380 you know

00:16:24.260 these S. De Lauder trap houses

00:16:26.000 or what

00:16:26.580 you know what I'm saying

00:16:27.780 I don't know if she's

00:16:28.500 you know

00:16:29.140 I don't know if she's

00:16:30.300 copping grams

00:16:31.120 you know

00:16:31.480 in the basement

00:16:33.460 of a Sephora

00:16:34.280 or what's going on

00:16:35.280 but the makeup

00:16:35.940 whatever she put

00:16:36.800 it infected my eye

00:16:38.600 my eye got infected

00:16:39.460 so then I'm rolling around

00:16:42.340 with that bad eye

00:16:43.540 and dude

00:16:45.660 if you have a red eye

00:16:46.740 I don't care if it's

00:16:47.820 I don't care if a bee

00:16:48.780 stung you in your eye

00:16:49.900 I don't care if like

00:16:51.800 a little mouse

00:16:52.560 bit you

00:16:53.220 you know

00:16:55.680 if a little mouse

00:16:56.700 bit you in your eye

00:16:58.020 dude

00:16:58.240 I don't give a fuck

00:16:58.880 here's what other people think

00:17:00.100 they think you got pink eye

00:17:02.080 that you got some of your booty

00:17:04.160 in your eye

00:17:05.220 and that's

00:17:07.560 man

00:17:08.220 it's hard to shake that

00:17:09.420 cause you need

00:17:11.920 you gotta have

00:17:13.400 when you look at people

00:17:14.660 if you only have

00:17:15.960 one of your eyes open

00:17:16.860 they think

00:17:17.240 you're being weird

00:17:18.140 and

00:17:19.620 they're right

00:17:20.840 so anyway

00:17:22.540 I wore an eye patch

00:17:23.820 and I had

00:17:24.300 you know

00:17:24.560 I'm trying

00:17:25.020 but finally

00:17:25.960 it's going away

00:17:26.860 so it's getting better

00:17:28.680 but

00:17:29.000 so it's just been

00:17:30.660 a hectic

00:17:31.080 you know

00:17:31.420 all day

00:17:31.880 all weekend

00:17:32.600 I had to have

00:17:33.120 an eye patch

00:17:33.880 Sean

00:17:34.340 and I

00:17:36.600 look

00:17:36.860 I like

00:17:37.240 an eye patch

00:17:37.840 man

00:17:38.080 that's shit

00:17:38.560 and dude

00:17:39.160 you'd be surprised

00:17:40.180 the ladies

00:17:41.000 that wanna try

00:17:42.540 to fucking

00:17:43.040 climb up

00:17:43.720 your ladder

00:17:44.300 you know

00:17:46.720 they wanna

00:17:47.060 try and climb up

00:17:48.120 your little ball

00:17:48.880 your balled up

00:17:49.960 meat ladder

00:17:50.680 when you have

00:17:52.880 an eye patch

00:17:53.900 cause an eye patch

00:17:56.940 is like

00:17:57.320 hey

00:17:57.540 guess what's

00:17:58.140 behind this patch

00:17:59.180 who fucking

00:18:02.740 knows

00:18:03.300 maybe buried

00:18:04.760 treasure

00:18:05.320 maybe a little

00:18:06.500 jewel

00:18:07.060 you know

00:18:08.320 a lot of

00:18:08.780 old senior

00:18:09.400 citizens

00:18:09.860 or Persian

00:18:10.500 people

00:18:10.880 they put

00:18:11.220 a little

00:18:11.480 jewel

00:18:11.820 back there

00:18:12.420 they put

00:18:13.320 a ruby

00:18:13.880 or an

00:18:14.280 amethyst

00:18:15.500 they pop

00:18:16.640 that little

00:18:17.060 bitch

00:18:17.340 in that eye

00:18:17.960 where the eye

00:18:18.560 used to be

00:18:19.220 you know

00:18:20.880 and some of

00:18:21.460 them

00:18:21.560 you pop

00:18:21.900 that thing

00:18:22.400 open

00:18:22.700 if you

00:18:22.960 could

00:18:23.080 open up

00:18:23.740 an eye patch

00:18:24.280 on somebody

00:18:24.700 while they

00:18:25.000 sleeping

00:18:25.440 you could

00:18:25.780 fucking

00:18:26.040 jack

00:18:26.400 them

00:18:26.520 you could

00:18:26.760 steal

00:18:27.040 all their

00:18:27.380 you know

00:18:27.900 all that

00:18:29.160 they got

00:18:30.800 orbital

00:18:31.280 they got

00:18:31.720 a lot

00:18:31.900 of jewelry

00:18:32.320 just fucking

00:18:32.820 sometimes

00:18:33.180 sitting in

00:18:33.700 that orbital

00:18:34.260 area

00:18:34.840 you fucking

00:18:36.000 cop a couple

00:18:36.680 of jewels

00:18:37.160 out that

00:18:37.620 bitch

00:18:38.040 earn you a

00:18:39.040 wedding ring

00:18:39.520 or something

00:18:39.900 just cause

00:18:40.240 you snuck

00:18:40.700 up and

00:18:41.400 lifted

00:18:41.700 they little

00:18:42.100 patch

00:18:42.460 door

00:18:42.820 so

00:18:44.440 I mean

00:18:45.280 eye patch

00:18:45.760 used to be

00:18:46.080 a lot

00:18:46.320 more popular

00:18:46.860 when I

00:18:47.180 was young

00:18:47.740 you know

00:18:49.900 I think

00:18:50.240 they probably

00:18:50.600 had about

00:18:50.960 70 people

00:18:51.760 had eye

00:18:52.160 patches

00:18:52.540 now it's

00:18:55.000 probably about

00:18:55.380 30 people

00:18:56.060 so it's

00:18:59.160 you know

00:18:59.580 it's a

00:18:59.900 real

00:19:00.420 different

00:19:01.420 time

00:19:01.780 people's

00:19:02.140 afraid to

00:19:02.580 wear an

00:19:02.860 eye patch

00:19:03.440 because they

00:19:05.160 don't have

00:19:05.420 pirates and

00:19:06.000 stuff anymore

00:19:06.560 so it

00:19:07.440 used to be

00:19:07.920 you had an

00:19:08.280 eye patch

00:19:08.660 people were

00:19:08.880 like oh

00:19:09.180 it's kind

00:19:09.440 of like a

00:19:09.720 pirate

00:19:09.980 now it's

00:19:10.600 just like

00:19:11.120 what

00:19:11.600 you know

00:19:13.060 just get a

00:19:13.540 glass eye

00:19:14.300 or just

00:19:15.420 cover one

00:19:15.920 you know

00:19:16.560 some of

00:19:18.160 these people

00:19:18.600 they don't

00:19:18.900 want to use

00:19:19.480 eye patches

00:19:20.100 because of

00:19:20.720 the materials

00:19:21.400 they say

00:19:21.720 they're wasting

00:19:22.140 materials by

00:19:22.940 building

00:19:23.280 by making

00:19:26.080 an eye patch

00:19:26.940 and people

00:19:27.700 want to

00:19:27.980 just

00:19:28.140 some people

00:19:28.820 would even

00:19:29.080 just like

00:19:29.480 real poor

00:19:30.040 people

00:19:30.340 when I was

00:19:30.720 young

00:19:30.880 they would

00:19:31.140 paint their

00:19:31.540 hand black

00:19:32.100 and just

00:19:32.400 put it over

00:19:32.840 their eye

00:19:33.360 to save

00:19:34.780 money

00:19:35.180 and I

00:19:37.100 remember that

00:19:37.740 but anyway

00:19:39.400 so I've been

00:19:39.800 rocking the eye

00:19:40.400 patch

00:19:40.660 I came in

00:19:41.220 here

00:19:41.580 just you

00:19:42.720 know a

00:19:42.980 long night

00:19:43.480 of fucking

00:19:43.820 helping my

00:19:44.240 neighbor find

00:19:44.840 keys that

00:19:45.340 don't exist

00:19:45.920 in a

00:19:46.180 subconscious

00:19:46.780 and that's

00:19:49.280 where I'm

00:19:49.540 at

00:19:49.760 that's where

00:19:50.740 I'm at

00:19:51.080 man

00:19:51.340 that's where

00:19:51.960 I'm at

00:19:52.260 with life

00:19:53.880 so the

00:19:55.800 Super Bowl

00:19:56.240 happened

00:19:56.740 you know

00:19:58.920 look I'm

00:19:59.380 happy for

00:19:59.820 the Tom

00:20:00.240 Brady

00:20:00.600 I'm happy

00:20:02.240 for the Tom

00:20:02.780 Brady

00:20:03.180 but also

00:20:04.660 you know

00:20:06.600 and look I'm

00:20:06.980 happy for the

00:20:07.380 organization

00:20:07.800 they won

00:20:08.420 they won

00:20:09.260 the game

00:20:09.660 they beat

00:20:10.180 I mean

00:20:10.720 look they

00:20:11.160 beat my

00:20:11.580 homes

00:20:12.080 they beat

00:20:12.860 the Rams

00:20:13.380 they did

00:20:13.820 it all

00:20:14.560 so there's

00:20:15.120 no discredit

00:20:15.880 at a certain

00:20:18.320 point though

00:20:18.880 it's like you

00:20:19.300 do want to

00:20:19.680 see something

00:20:20.040 different

00:20:20.360 you want to

00:20:20.780 see kind

00:20:21.080 of a new

00:20:21.440 experience

00:20:21.940 than you've

00:20:22.380 seen

00:20:22.640 you know

00:20:23.420 I like

00:20:23.680 to see

00:20:23.940 a change

00:20:24.380 up

00:20:24.540 I like

00:20:24.820 to see

00:20:25.080 the underdog

00:20:25.700 now I

00:20:26.220 don't think

00:20:26.480 there was

00:20:26.720 an underdog

00:20:27.160 in this

00:20:27.480 game

00:20:27.820 I think

00:20:28.880 either one

00:20:29.220 of those

00:20:29.440 teams could

00:20:29.820 have won

00:20:30.080 that game

00:20:30.600 but I

00:20:32.780 like to

00:20:33.100 see more

00:20:33.480 of an

00:20:33.720 underdog

00:20:34.220 I like

00:20:34.500 to see

00:20:34.800 something

00:20:35.040 just kind

00:20:35.440 of different

00:20:35.920 than we've

00:20:37.300 seen of

00:20:37.900 late

00:20:38.240 but no

00:20:39.100 shade

00:20:39.420 to New

00:20:40.260 England

00:20:40.600 man

00:20:40.940 and no

00:20:41.920 shade

00:20:42.140 to Belichick

00:20:42.680 that guy

00:20:43.000 runs an

00:20:43.340 organization

00:20:43.900 you know

00:20:45.240 even if

00:20:45.740 they play

00:20:46.360 unfair

00:20:47.100 10%

00:20:48.140 unfair

00:20:48.620 everybody's

00:20:49.960 trying to

00:20:50.220 play unfair

00:20:50.820 everybody's

00:20:51.840 trying to

00:20:52.060 be sneaky

00:20:52.580 now one

00:20:54.240 of my

00:20:54.460 favorite

00:20:54.720 parts

00:20:55.000 was when

00:20:55.320 Goodell

00:20:55.720 came out

00:20:56.180 and everybody

00:20:56.760 booed his

00:20:57.380 ass

00:20:57.640 I thought

00:20:57.920 that was

00:20:58.280 great

00:20:58.700 you know

00:21:02.280 I really

00:21:02.600 that's really

00:21:03.440 the part

00:21:03.760 that got

00:21:04.060 me

00:21:04.200 but I

00:21:04.420 only watched

00:21:04.780 about probably

00:21:05.440 13 minutes

00:21:07.020 of the game

00:21:07.500 I was switching

00:21:08.280 between that

00:21:09.020 and an episode

00:21:10.040 of Dateline

00:21:10.740 called

00:21:11.280 Into the Sand

00:21:12.300 or something

00:21:12.780 Dateline has

00:21:14.100 the weirdest

00:21:14.840 names for all

00:21:15.480 their episodes

00:21:15.880 doesn't it

00:21:16.680 you know

00:21:19.540 the missing

00:21:20.440 arm

00:21:20.960 of

00:21:21.760 Brooklyn

00:21:23.080 you know

00:21:23.940 or

00:21:24.300 not without

00:21:26.200 my daughters

00:21:26.960 or

00:21:27.860 secrets

00:21:29.240 in the

00:21:29.700 secrets

00:21:31.560 in the

00:21:32.060 Serengeti

00:21:33.140 or

00:21:35.100 at the

00:21:36.240 bottom

00:21:36.540 of the

00:21:36.920 lake

00:21:37.280 it's always

00:21:37.780 like a weird

00:21:38.400 clue about

00:21:38.860 where the

00:21:39.180 body is

00:21:39.900 you know

00:21:41.180 oh

00:21:42.360 something's

00:21:43.560 in the

00:21:43.880 chimney

00:21:44.260 it's always

00:21:45.180 something like

00:21:45.700 that

00:21:46.060 you know

00:21:47.660 like oh

00:21:49.280 bones

00:21:52.180 in the

00:21:52.640 baseball

00:21:53.100 diamond

00:21:53.640 and you're

00:21:54.060 like oh

00:21:54.680 wonder where

00:21:55.980 the body

00:21:56.400 is

00:21:56.880 what else

00:21:59.680 is happening

00:22:00.080 man

00:22:00.400 I saw

00:22:01.400 this wild

00:22:01.900 news story

00:22:02.520 it was

00:22:02.760 about

00:22:03.180 about

00:22:05.400 this guy

00:22:08.400 Jussie

00:22:08.860 Smollett

00:22:09.440 and

00:22:11.020 and all

00:22:12.140 of these

00:22:12.700 and he

00:22:13.380 was a

00:22:13.820 empire

00:22:14.300 actor

00:22:14.920 who

00:22:16.200 allegedly

00:22:18.620 was attacked

00:22:19.300 on the

00:22:19.580 streets

00:22:19.800 of Chicago

00:22:20.380 and it

00:22:21.460 just seems

00:22:21.860 like a

00:22:22.140 fake story

00:22:22.700 and I

00:22:22.920 think he's

00:22:23.420 I think

00:22:24.100 this guy

00:22:24.440 is black

00:22:24.860 and white

00:22:25.520 actually

00:22:26.240 he is

00:22:28.380 a

00:22:29.000 yeah he's

00:22:30.560 mixed

00:22:30.760 he might be

00:22:31.280 middle eastern

00:22:31.760 I'm not sure

00:22:32.140 what ethnicity

00:22:32.620 he is

00:22:32.840 I mean

00:22:33.040 he's at

00:22:33.880 least

00:22:34.300 part

00:22:35.460 I would

00:22:37.660 say he

00:22:37.880 has a

00:22:38.080 little bit

00:22:38.300 of an

00:22:38.540 Arabian

00:22:39.140 look

00:22:39.460 possibly

00:22:40.840 but he's

00:22:41.260 either

00:22:41.480 he's

00:22:42.100 like

00:22:42.260 probably

00:22:42.680 mixed

00:22:43.180 but

00:22:43.940 but this

00:22:46.700 shit just

00:22:47.080 seems so

00:22:47.500 fake

00:22:47.760 it's

00:22:47.920 ridiculous

00:22:48.380 man

00:22:48.860 you know

00:22:50.160 he was

00:22:50.440 attacked

00:22:50.800 they can't

00:22:51.200 find any

00:22:51.540 video footage

00:22:52.280 they've

00:22:52.540 looked

00:22:52.740 apparently

00:22:53.340 and a

00:22:54.000 lot of

00:22:54.200 this is

00:22:54.480 alleged

00:22:54.880 they've

00:22:56.320 looked at

00:22:56.660 a lot

00:22:57.780 of

00:22:58.020 you know

00:22:59.000 the police

00:22:59.360 departments

00:22:59.780 looked at

00:23:00.080 a lot

00:23:00.300 of different

00:23:00.600 tapes

00:23:00.960 and just

00:23:01.780 the

00:23:02.100 from

00:23:02.860 different

00:23:03.180 areas

00:23:03.540 he was

00:23:03.780 at a

00:23:04.040 subway

00:23:04.420 it was

00:23:04.800 below

00:23:05.100 zero

00:23:05.440 they threw

00:23:05.820 bleach

00:23:06.340 on him

00:23:06.900 they threw

00:23:10.820 bleach

00:23:11.200 on him

00:23:11.800 and they

00:23:13.300 said that

00:23:13.680 they yelled

00:23:14.440 racial stuff

00:23:15.240 and make

00:23:16.000 America

00:23:16.340 great

00:23:16.680 again

00:23:16.960 stuff

00:23:17.440 it's

00:23:19.420 just

00:23:19.700 and the

00:23:20.660 thing

00:23:20.840 that makes

00:23:21.380 me most

00:23:21.820 upset

00:23:22.140 about this

00:23:22.600 sort of

00:23:22.940 deal

00:23:23.220 is

00:23:23.660 look

00:23:25.260 I'm not

00:23:25.760 surprised

00:23:26.160 at anything

00:23:26.540 that comes

00:23:26.920 out of

00:23:27.140 Hollywood

00:23:27.500 you know

00:23:29.200 I don't

00:23:29.420 believe

00:23:29.680 half of

00:23:30.080 these

00:23:30.200 clans

00:23:30.520 I don't

00:23:30.720 believe

00:23:30.900 half of

00:23:31.280 what I

00:23:31.480 hear

00:23:31.660 out

00:23:31.840 here

00:23:32.160 but

00:23:34.600 you know

00:23:36.980 when you

00:23:37.400 are

00:23:37.760 when there's

00:23:38.940 already

00:23:39.240 issues of

00:23:40.160 race in

00:23:40.620 America

00:23:41.060 and there's

00:23:42.260 already people

00:23:42.780 that really

00:23:43.180 are getting

00:23:43.680 attacked by

00:23:44.320 different

00:23:44.660 ethnicities

00:23:45.420 because of

00:23:46.260 their

00:23:46.700 ethnicity

00:23:47.800 to do

00:23:50.360 something like

00:23:50.940 this is

00:23:51.380 just too

00:23:51.760 much

00:23:52.180 and it's

00:23:53.580 not fair

00:23:54.080 it just

00:23:54.400 really

00:23:54.640 minimizes

00:23:55.580 well it's

00:23:58.860 just

00:23:59.020 first of all

00:23:59.540 it's taking

00:23:59.940 advantage of

00:24:00.720 something

00:24:01.000 that's

00:24:01.260 really

00:24:01.440 that's

00:24:02.180 really

00:24:02.500 it's

00:24:05.480 really

00:24:05.640 selfish

00:24:06.120 if you

00:24:06.740 are

00:24:06.940 using

00:24:07.380 those

00:24:07.820 things

00:24:08.380 to gain

00:24:09.720 acclaim

00:24:10.820 for yourself

00:24:11.520 because a

00:24:13.140 lot of

00:24:13.960 you know

00:24:15.880 a lot

00:24:16.380 of

00:24:16.720 trial and

00:24:18.760 error

00:24:19.040 has gone

00:24:19.560 into

00:24:20.160 integration

00:24:26.740 and segregation

00:24:27.500 and racial

00:24:28.340 you know

00:24:28.840 just like

00:24:29.280 America's

00:24:30.340 slowly

00:24:31.160 building

00:24:31.940 its way

00:24:33.280 out of

00:24:33.980 the tough

00:24:35.660 spot that

00:24:36.160 it was in

00:24:36.740 from

00:24:38.180 slavery

00:24:38.740 and

00:24:39.980 you know

00:24:40.920 when you

00:24:41.220 have

00:24:41.560 somebody

00:24:43.540 who's

00:24:43.800 just

00:24:43.920 kind of

00:24:44.220 it just

00:24:44.540 minimizes

00:24:45.220 all the

00:24:45.660 I feel

00:24:46.700 like the

00:24:47.040 advancement

00:24:47.560 when you

00:24:48.640 use these

00:24:49.220 things for

00:24:49.600 your own

00:24:50.120 value to

00:24:50.840 try and

00:24:51.200 get ahead

00:24:51.740 now I

00:24:53.700 think do I

00:24:54.060 think something

00:24:54.560 could have

00:24:54.880 happened to

00:24:55.240 this guy

00:24:55.680 yeah he

00:24:56.580 could have

00:24:56.900 fell out he

00:24:57.580 could have

00:24:57.880 fell down

00:24:58.600 you know I

00:24:59.880 don't know how

00:25:00.220 they said he's

00:25:00.900 throwing somebody

00:25:01.440 threw a liquid

00:25:02.780 on him and

00:25:04.100 it was like

00:25:04.560 five it was

00:25:05.160 like five

00:25:05.560 degrees or

00:25:06.140 something so

00:25:07.220 I don't know

00:25:07.680 who's running

00:25:08.260 around with a

00:25:09.540 liquid chasing

00:25:10.300 this young

00:25:10.900 guy it just

00:25:13.740 all sounds

00:25:14.220 crazy and

00:25:14.920 they put a

00:25:15.480 noose on

00:25:16.000 his neck

00:25:16.560 dude I

00:25:19.940 mean I

00:25:20.840 just I

00:25:22.380 mean come

00:25:22.980 on man it

00:25:24.080 just at a

00:25:24.840 certain point

00:25:25.120 if something

00:25:25.380 seems too

00:25:25.780 unbelievable

00:25:26.200 then it you

00:25:27.440 know it's

00:25:27.720 just like that's

00:25:28.380 where it lands

00:25:29.000 and so many

00:25:30.160 black you

00:25:32.900 know DD on

00:25:34.720 the news so

00:25:35.440 many black

00:25:36.120 like YouTubers

00:25:39.320 and news people

00:25:40.360 have come out

00:25:41.120 and said this

00:25:41.620 is ridiculous

00:25:42.280 man you

00:25:43.160 know

00:25:43.420 so it's

00:25:44.160 nice to

00:25:44.600 see that

00:25:45.100 people aren't

00:25:45.780 just siding

00:25:46.380 with their

00:25:46.820 own race

00:25:49.420 anymore that

00:25:50.640 people are

00:25:51.020 starting to

00:25:51.920 say okay well

00:25:52.940 this seems fake

00:25:53.700 on this and

00:25:54.300 this seems fake

00:25:54.880 on this and

00:25:55.300 it doesn't

00:25:55.620 matter who

00:25:56.000 you are

00:25:56.580 because that's

00:25:59.360 a place where

00:25:59.800 I think you

00:26:00.560 know that's a

00:26:01.540 great place to

00:26:02.060 be at because

00:26:03.200 then we're all

00:26:03.740 can be moving

00:26:04.320 forward you

00:26:05.000 know we all

00:26:05.420 can be we're

00:26:06.340 all judging

00:26:06.940 each other based

00:26:07.620 on what's going

00:26:08.260 on right now

00:26:09.080 and it's I

00:26:10.640 think you know

00:26:11.240 and I feel sorry

00:26:12.120 for this young

00:26:12.600 man as to why

00:26:13.340 he feels like

00:26:14.000 he needs to

00:26:14.420 do this if

00:26:15.040 he's trying

00:26:15.420 to it just

00:26:16.420 seemed too

00:26:16.920 much and

00:26:18.180 then he put

00:26:18.640 out a video

00:26:19.180 the other day

00:26:19.820 or somebody

00:26:20.320 did of him

00:26:21.640 he called

00:26:22.020 himself the

00:26:22.580 gay Tupac

00:26:23.540 that he fought

00:26:25.240 back and I

00:26:27.120 don't know it

00:26:27.780 just seems like

00:26:28.320 somebody really

00:26:29.060 taking advantage

00:26:29.800 of you know a

00:26:33.000 lot has gone

00:26:33.480 into that man a

00:26:34.080 lot of people

00:26:34.540 have sacrificed

00:26:35.080 their lives a

00:26:36.080 lot of people

00:26:36.560 have you know

00:26:37.660 done so much

00:26:38.800 to get race

00:26:40.260 relations into

00:26:41.460 a good place

00:26:42.420 and in a lot

00:26:43.300 of America

00:26:43.680 they are the

00:26:45.140 only place

00:26:45.520 they're not

00:26:45.860 really that

00:26:46.220 great a lot

00:26:46.820 of times is

00:26:47.420 in the news

00:26:48.140 you know I

00:26:50.000 hate the fact

00:26:50.560 that the news

00:26:51.000 always just

00:26:51.460 focuses on

00:26:52.260 you know just

00:26:53.740 they'll you know

00:26:54.780 they'll find the

00:26:55.500 one you know

00:26:57.100 idiot redneck

00:26:58.580 or and they'll

00:27:01.080 always focus on

00:27:01.740 that guy you

00:27:02.580 know we're not

00:27:03.000 redneck but

00:27:03.580 yeah just some

00:27:04.260 racist you know

00:27:05.080 real perved

00:27:06.180 out dude

00:27:06.780 he's out there

00:27:07.700 jerking off on

00:27:08.540 little you know

00:27:09.080 black statues in

00:27:10.220 his yard or

00:27:10.820 something and

00:27:11.640 they find that

00:27:12.340 dude and it's

00:27:13.620 like man that's

00:27:14.120 the there's so

00:27:15.020 few of that dude

00:27:15.920 left I wish they

00:27:17.480 would sometimes

00:27:17.860 focus on people

00:27:18.680 who you know

00:27:19.160 are that they

00:27:20.100 wouldn't focus on

00:27:20.800 that but this

00:27:21.640 just seems like

00:27:22.380 I don't know

00:27:23.100 it just wasn't

00:27:23.440 cool man it's

00:27:24.180 just not a cool

00:27:24.660 thing to do

00:27:25.200 there's other

00:27:26.000 ways to increase

00:27:26.640 your you know

00:27:27.560 your visibility

00:27:28.300 and something

00:27:29.080 could have

00:27:29.340 happened to

00:27:29.700 this man I

00:27:30.380 think he could

00:27:30.960 have you know

00:27:31.860 an icicle could

00:27:32.900 have hit him

00:27:33.340 maybe a hard

00:27:35.000 you know it

00:27:36.060 was snowing a

00:27:36.720 couple hard

00:27:37.120 snowflakes could

00:27:38.000 have taken this

00:27:38.580 dude down I

00:27:40.100 mean he just

00:27:40.560 copped a subway

00:27:41.260 sandwich they

00:27:41.940 said and I

00:27:43.260 don't know if it

00:27:43.700 was that meatball

00:27:44.560 hitter or what

00:27:45.220 it was but you

00:27:47.560 know I mean it

00:27:48.900 could have been a

00:27:49.500 turkey add turkey

00:27:51.140 now if he's at

00:27:52.440 jimmy john's I

00:27:53.200 could see somebody

00:27:53.840 jumping his ass

00:27:54.700 for a jimmy john

00:27:55.500 bro those bitches

00:27:56.140 are good but

00:27:57.400 ain't nobody

00:27:57.980 fucking beating

00:27:58.820 your ass in the

00:27:59.460 middle of the

00:27:59.920 night randomly

00:28:00.940 like they tracked

00:28:02.260 you there nobody's

00:28:03.060 tracking your ass

00:28:03.960 daddy

00:28:04.340 nobody's ain't

00:28:07.480 nobody beating

00:28:08.380 nobody's ass for

00:28:09.480 a subway sandwich

00:28:11.080 now jimmy john

00:28:12.860 boy come out

00:28:15.620 son fuck even

00:28:17.680 one of those uh

00:28:18.440 what's that other

00:28:18.980 one that weird

00:28:19.660 one that's kind of

00:28:20.280 out now it's oh

00:28:21.140 jersey mics that

00:28:22.300 shit tastes tastes

00:28:23.900 like your cousin

00:28:24.500 fucking spit on it

00:28:25.600 at the end but

00:28:26.420 you know and it's

00:28:27.800 the meat's a little

00:28:28.660 wet but even that

00:28:29.820 I could see somebody

00:28:31.380 coming at your

00:28:32.020 boyfriend at maybe

00:28:33.000 and you know if

00:28:33.640 they're real

00:28:34.000 hungry but here's

00:28:36.260 why I don't believe

00:28:36.800 jelly uh but

00:28:38.320 here's why I don't

00:28:38.720 believe jussie

00:28:39.200 smollett because

00:28:40.580 ain't nobody

00:28:41.660 nobody whooping

00:28:45.400 nobody's ass in

00:28:47.440 zero degree weather

00:28:48.820 for a damn subway

00:28:49.860 bro you know that

00:28:52.460 shit ain't nobody

00:28:53.760 trying to get

00:28:54.340 nobody's subway

00:28:55.280 sandwich uh now

00:28:57.820 that jimmy john

00:28:58.780 boy somebody running

00:29:00.620 around with a turkey

00:29:01.440 time with extra

00:29:02.380 turkey son I'll

00:29:04.120 fucking you know

00:29:05.260 I'll set a trip

00:29:06.180 wire on the

00:29:06.700 sidewalk for that

00:29:07.560 dude you know I'll

00:29:09.600 fucking tase somebody

00:29:10.780 for a damn you know

00:29:12.120 for a full length

00:29:14.440 jimmy john boy I

00:29:15.860 like them jimmy

00:29:16.580 johns you feel me I

00:29:18.200 like that jimmy john

00:29:19.180 with them tomatoes and

00:29:20.160 them fucking pickles

00:29:21.580 on the lawn baby you

00:29:22.800 got me but come on

00:29:24.520 bro get right dude

00:29:25.780 and don't use you know

00:29:27.300 all of to use something

00:29:28.940 that that is that

00:29:29.720 powerful just for your

00:29:30.620 own gain that's just

00:29:32.060 fucked up bro it's real

00:29:34.000 selfish so I think

00:29:35.460 they need to

00:29:35.880 investigate this guy's

00:29:36.820 ego anybody whooping

00:29:38.660 nobody's ass for a

00:29:39.480 damn subway bud you

00:29:41.520 know and the good

00:29:42.440 thing is is that this

00:29:43.320 guy is multiracial so

00:29:44.840 everybody should be

00:29:45.800 ashamed of this man

00:29:47.540 behavior but then at

00:29:49.480 the same time we've all

00:29:50.320 done shit so you know

00:29:53.940 I can understand how

00:29:55.080 your ego can get out

00:29:55.900 of control and you

00:29:56.480 could do things but

00:29:57.580 this is a little bit

00:30:00.420 much when using things

00:30:01.460 like that that are that

00:30:02.220 important because what

00:30:03.600 if somebody now goes on

00:30:04.680 the street and they go

00:30:05.700 attack somebody because

00:30:07.180 you did this they're

00:30:08.180 trying to get you know

00:30:09.420 some crazed empire fan

00:30:11.440 or something and I

00:30:12.660 never even heard of

00:30:13.280 this guy so and maybe

00:30:16.240 he had maybe enough

00:30:17.160 people hadn't heard of

00:30:17.960 him and that's why he's

00:30:18.540 doing this in the first

00:30:19.280 place but it's just

00:30:21.160 it's not nice man and

00:30:23.320 it's selfish that's what

00:30:24.420 I think now I could be

00:30:26.360 wrong but you know and

00:30:29.240 fuck I could be wrong

00:30:29.980 and if I am wrong man

00:30:30.840 I'm you know I mean I

00:30:32.180 don't know this guy and

00:30:32.720 he don't know me but if

00:30:33.780 I'm wrong then yeah I'm

00:30:34.880 sorry but but it just

00:30:37.520 feels real fucking fake

00:30:38.980 bro nobody beat

00:30:40.640 nobody's ass for a damn

00:30:41.560 subway anyway today's

00:30:43.800 episode I got to tell

00:30:44.760 you and I'll say this

00:30:46.960 about Jussie Smollett he's

00:30:48.380 got nice hair he has very

00:30:50.460 nice hair and hair is

00:30:51.360 important and your

00:30:53.020 confidence is important

00:30:54.280 and sometimes one

00:30:55.900 change can make all the

00:30:57.260 difference hair club

00:30:58.900 knows this and they're

00:31:01.220 inviting you to become

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00:32:02.720 everybody knows I've had

00:32:03.560 that hair you know I've had

00:32:04.460 some hair care done on me

00:32:06.400 not you know I try and I

00:32:08.060 haven't washed my hair in

00:32:08.720 about two weeks though what

00:32:12.280 else is going on man I

00:32:13.440 wanted to pop into a little

00:32:15.140 bit more news we got the

00:32:19.340 Super Bowl we got Jussie

00:32:21.460 Smollett what else I think

00:32:26.600 that's about it man you know

00:32:28.400 I think that's about it in my

00:32:31.920 life what's going on what's

00:32:37.300 going on man oh I'm thinking

00:32:39.860 about getting a PS4 and

00:32:45.840 that's not a some people

00:32:47.660 think that's an inoculation

00:32:48.760 it's not it's a or a

00:32:51.020 vaccination it's a video

00:32:52.460 gaming system and PS4 dude

00:32:55.180 they got everything I was in

00:32:57.360 the basement of the comedy

00:32:58.200 store the other day and they

00:32:59.000 have an area down there where

00:33:00.820 you can relax and play games

00:33:02.000 and I didn't really know it

00:33:02.720 was down there as much but man

00:33:06.220 I sat there and played

00:33:07.200 something you know Big Gunner

00:33:09.360 some shit where you're just

00:33:10.340 shooting people on a damn

00:33:11.500 zombies dude and I fought

00:33:14.200 zombies for like an hour and

00:33:16.460 it was one of the most

00:33:16.980 relaxing things that I've

00:33:17.900 done in a long time I'll

00:33:22.220 tell you this man pre-sale

00:33:24.180 tickets for Boston there's

00:33:26.040 another show we're adding in

00:33:27.280 Medford because the Boston

00:33:28.620 shows on Friday night have

00:33:29.780 sold out so on the 6th I

00:33:32.840 believe the 7th of February

00:33:34.280 which is a Thursday no of

00:33:37.060 March sorry the 7th of March

00:33:39.280 so the 8th of March is sold

00:33:41.200 out the 7th of March we are

00:33:43.520 adding a show in Medford and

00:33:45.540 those pre-sale tickets those

00:33:46.800 will go on sale Wednesday this

00:33:48.840 Wednesday and the pre-sale code

00:33:50.740 is Boston and I'm excited man I'm

00:33:54.920 excited to get there hopefully

00:33:55.920 some of the Patriots fever will

00:33:57.220 still be in the air man I will

00:33:59.700 say this man nobody throws the

00:34:02.540 Baltimore white dudes than Tom

00:34:04.260 Brady bruh I mean that guy should

00:34:07.320 get a ring they should give a ring

00:34:08.780 at the end of the season for

00:34:09.840 whoever can complete the ball to

00:34:11.460 a white dude with that many you

00:34:14.060 know really active black men out

00:34:16.020 there that shit is challenging as

00:34:18.240 fuck dude dude yeah it's very

00:34:23.380 challenging so ain't no bones about

00:34:26.140 that shit man so he should get that

00:34:29.140 he fucking completed like 13 passes

00:34:31.340 to the little white guy that little

00:34:34.560 dude I thought that guy you know that

00:34:38.480 dude who knows bruh sometime if he

00:34:42.540 took that if I was that dude the

00:34:43.940 first time I caught one ball I'd have

00:34:45.320 run right off the field and sold that

00:34:46.960 bitch on eBay but he's out there

00:34:49.260 hustling so but yeah man I've been

00:34:53.280 tired dude I've been dealing really

00:34:54.780 well with my own stress I'm thinking

00:34:56.140 about taking a week off in around

00:34:58.940 Valentine's and going on a retreat or

00:35:00.780 something this weekend I'll be in

00:35:03.680 Columbus though I do want to let you

00:35:05.660 know that also have we're gonna put

00:35:09.920 New York tickets on sale soon

00:35:12.920 Australia is coming up February 11th

00:35:16.340 those are going sale so next week I'll

00:35:17.940 let you guys know what cities and where

00:35:20.980 we got some new rat king and gang gang

00:35:24.820 shirts up on the store theovan.com

00:35:27.720 slash store and what else dude any other

00:35:30.700 good news oh I went to the urgent care

00:35:34.020 and they had a couple ladies in there

00:35:35.700 they were nice and they got me some

00:35:37.240 eye drops too so my eye can get better

00:35:39.120 I'll be at the San Jose Improv March

00:35:42.780 22nd and 23rd I'll be stand up live

00:35:45.880 Phoenix Arizona March 29th and 30th

00:35:48.320 April 5th in Kansas City and April 6th

00:35:52.120 April 26th and 27th in Palm Beach

00:35:55.320 Florida and then May 3rd and 4th

00:35:58.080 Caroline's on Broadway in New York

00:36:00.740 and that's it man that's what's going

00:36:05.480 on I want to thank everybody for your

00:36:07.920 support we had a couple calls that came

00:36:09.200 in let's get to a few of those really

00:36:12.160 quick the number is always to reach out

00:36:14.440 to is 985-664-9503 yeah man it's tough

00:36:22.020 I've been in this weird space where it's

00:36:23.360 like I'm tired but I also know I need to

00:36:25.820 be active so it's like I'm not getting

00:36:29.240 enough rest but at the same time I'm not

00:36:31.240 taking care of myself enough like on the

00:36:35.660 other end of the spectrum like keeping

00:36:36.980 my blood going in and just staying

00:36:38.740 active so you know I just been feeling

00:36:43.720 like a lot of stress man I just been

00:36:45.220 feeling I think a lot of it's just fears

00:36:48.100 you know you know things are going

00:36:49.620 busier now and like it's just scary you

00:36:54.480 know it's like I used to you know and I

00:36:56.360 talk about this a lot but it's like yeah

00:36:57.680 it's just scary no it's cool but it's

00:37:01.580 just a little bit scary you know and then

00:37:06.620 just dealing with other people like even

00:37:10.220 just little things like I sense the other

00:37:11.780 day somebody said hey man will you send a

00:37:13.260 video to my friend for their birthday or

00:37:14.880 something so I sent him a video and the

00:37:17.160 parent the friend was a fan or a you

00:37:19.200 know not a fan but you know I don't

00:37:21.420 really like that word that much but just

00:37:22.840 somebody who was interested in my humor

00:37:25.400 and uh and then the next day they like

00:37:30.920 put it on their Instagram it was just but

00:37:32.840 it was like a personal message kind of so

00:37:34.760 I don't know just just little just things

00:37:38.300 where you're like oh okay well that's

00:37:40.880 you know that's you know now do I got to

00:37:44.480 be careful if I send somebody a personal

00:37:46.120 message just that they're gonna I guess

00:37:48.400 I don't have to I still can just be

00:37:49.740 myself

00:37:50.260 but yeah just I don't know just kind of

00:37:55.320 scary it's just a lot and it just feels

00:37:57.060 kind of you know

00:37:58.080 you know I feel just nervous a little bit

00:38:03.280 you know I don't have a manager right

00:38:05.320 now so I just have an agent and and I

00:38:09.120 have enough work because we have these

00:38:10.280 podcasts and I'm grateful I have the

00:38:11.900 king and the sting podcast now which is

00:38:13.680 you know we're learning as we go dude

00:38:15.920 that podcast I get in there and I feel

00:38:17.520 like I get like I get mean in there like

00:38:19.600 we're just fucking ripping everybody up

00:38:21.880 but it's fun dude it is fun me nah

00:38:25.940 Brendan is fun because you know he he had

00:38:29.220 me come over to his house to watch some

00:38:31.540 of the um Super Bowl and really we just

00:38:33.440 talked about work and hung out but it was

00:38:35.660 it was really cool it was really cool man

00:38:38.060 we had you know somebody in his family is

00:38:40.380 Mexican and hell it might be him and they

00:38:44.240 made uh sopapillas and dang bro I don't

00:38:49.300 know if you ever had a sopapilla or not

00:38:51.880 dude but fucking el dia de los desayunos

00:38:57.700 bro I was full oh it was so good man

00:39:02.300 this shit it was so good bro it's just

00:39:06.960 like somebody just punching you in the

00:39:08.800 face with a bunch of fucking good shit

00:39:10.540 at once punching you right in the mouth

00:39:12.740 with it um anyway that's what's going on

00:39:16.740 in my life man you know what else oh I

00:39:21.020 was thinking about mother nature dude

00:39:24.080 think about mother nature imagine this

00:39:28.820 imagine you're driving down the road and

00:39:32.660 you see a lady right she lay in there she

00:39:36.360 got them big tatas out you know them

00:39:39.500 fucking big you know milky love seats just

00:39:42.740 just kind of leaning off each side of her

00:39:44.780 chest you know and she got animals all

00:39:48.400 over her she got her you know a little

00:39:51.840 raccoon running out of her crotch you

00:39:54.000 know she got a little you know some ants

00:39:56.620 she got her like an anthill on her leg

00:39:58.680 you know she got you know trees you

00:40:03.260 know growing out of her shoulders and

00:40:06.600 she got you know raspberry bushes just

00:40:08.880 right up under her chin that's mother

00:40:12.060 nature bro she got a fucking snake around

00:40:15.600 her neck and the snake is eating um little

00:40:19.000 pieces of uh you know um cucumbers that's

00:40:24.480 mother nature imagine you kind of roll one

00:40:28.300 of her you know lift one of her titties up

00:40:30.040 a little bit and they got a damn uh you

00:40:32.840 know a couple of oysters and mussels under

00:40:34.740 there and they got a little uh fox with a

00:40:39.600 little hammer trying to beat those oysters

00:40:41.180 open so he could have a little lunch snack

00:40:43.200 that's mother nature man imagine she got

00:40:48.440 fresh water just flowing between her breasts

00:40:51.060 you know and she got salt water just you

00:40:54.500 know in brackish around the neck that's

00:40:57.260 mother nature man imagine her hair just made

00:41:01.200 out of just long vines you know just getting

00:41:04.580 all out of wild flying out of her head

00:41:06.920 imagine that in her eyes they made out of

00:41:10.940 quartzite and gold and fool's gold and

00:41:14.320 shale that's mother nature i mean imagine

00:41:19.020 you pull up and see that bad bench on the

00:41:21.940 side of the road

00:41:22.820 would you you know would you try to fuck

00:41:29.240 you think or chill man that's the question

00:41:31.600 bro

00:41:31.900 i would chill i would chill man i ain't

00:41:36.380 trying to be like that i'm not trying to

00:41:37.960 be sexual with mother nature man i'm not

00:41:39.740 like that

00:41:40.400 that's crazy that's absolutely crazy man so

00:41:43.680 you need to get your mind out of the gutter

00:41:45.040 oh today's a wild episode man i don't even

00:41:48.620 know if i fully woke up you know it's hard

00:41:51.400 to wake up when you've been fucking

00:41:52.500 looking for somebody's keys all night

00:41:54.300 assholes okay let's take a couple of

00:41:58.360 calls as always the hotline is 985-664-9503

00:42:03.760 i'll say this man so we're doing the man

00:42:06.780 up you know the episodes now in real time

00:42:08.720 out there and we got to really have i mean

00:42:11.140 two great experiences with some young men

00:42:13.060 this weekend or the last week it was

00:42:15.740 awesome you know it's so funny like i'm

00:42:20.280 just constantly reminded and this is one

00:42:23.700 thing i really should be really grateful

00:42:25.100 for is that for somehow in my life i'm

00:42:27.620 constantly reminded of the joy

00:42:31.740 that comes when we spend time with others

00:42:37.400 when we really give of our own time

00:42:40.300 to just let somebody know that we care even

00:42:44.020 just by being there instead of just saying i

00:42:47.380 care this or that or liking their thing on

00:42:49.580 instagrams if we say hey you know just be

00:42:53.160 there be there with them be there to listen

00:42:57.360 you know i was talking to one of the young

00:43:01.180 men we're working with and he reminded me of

00:43:03.300 so many things you know it was a young man he's

00:43:06.640 struggling with um you know his father passed

00:43:09.500 away when he was young and it really i think

00:43:12.740 and he's you know he still he lives with his

00:43:15.580 mother still and you know he hasn't really kind

00:43:18.100 of grown up about 30 now

00:43:20.400 and i and it just you know my father passed

00:43:25.200 away when i was young so i could relate i

00:43:26.720 could understand some of that and it reminded

00:43:29.380 me of some of that um and actually you know

00:43:33.220 it really it taught me about some of the you know

00:43:38.120 moments that i'd never really

00:43:41.020 you know i was so oblivious to the world i think

00:43:46.980 when my pet when my dad passed away that i didn't

00:43:49.280 really i wasn't able to really get a view of how

00:43:52.820 i reacted to it or what it meant to me or what

00:43:55.240 was going on or how i behaved or anything

00:43:57.500 but by talking with this young guy and seeing what was going on with him i was

00:44:02.420 able to kind of get a view a vision of what that what that can be like

00:44:05.500 sometimes for a young man

00:44:06.820 and and then i was like oh wow well

00:44:10.820 i started thinking and this may not be right but i started thinking and feeling

00:44:14.940 like oh one of the reasons that

00:44:17.020 you know possibly one of the reasons that this young man doesn't want to move out

00:44:22.360 and doesn't want to grow up is because his dad is gone

00:44:25.020 it's like it's kind of like we don't want to

00:44:28.560 if the person who

00:44:30.700 you know who we care about the most

00:44:35.840 or one of the people that we want to see us grow up the most isn't there

00:44:41.080 then sometimes we just will stop evolving

00:44:46.160 we'll stop we won't grow up

00:44:47.900 and it's just that that way it's like fuck it's like saying fuck you to the world

00:44:52.280 it's like saying oh you're going to take my dad away you're not going to let the

00:44:55.460 person that i care about the most be here to see me grow up

00:44:58.880 then fuck you i'm not growing up

00:45:01.420 and

00:45:04.080 and it's like the only thing we can do because

00:45:08.560 you know there's no other way to get back at time or to get back at the world

00:45:14.720 than by our own actions really

00:45:17.320 and so we just stay where we are

00:45:21.000 we say okay time you're going to keep going on but i'm going to stay right where i am you're not going to get me

00:45:25.160 i'm not flowing in your river

00:45:26.660 you know i'm not flowing forward i'm not evolving

00:45:29.460 you know because the person i want to be here the most you took them away

00:45:33.340 well i'm going to stay right where i fucking am

00:45:35.320 i'll show you

00:45:37.280 you know this this kind of invisible i'll show you to the world

00:45:41.860 to the world that took away your parent or took away somebody you cared about

00:45:45.520 but at a certain point you just start to hurt yourself you know

00:45:49.560 at a certain point it's like you know you're 30 or you're getting older and you're still at home and

00:45:54.920 and now it's like you know

00:45:57.600 it's just it's cumbersome on the young fellow's mother and she's getting older and he needs to be able to contribute

00:46:02.960 and and i'm not airing his dirty laundry out there like

00:46:05.900 i'm not even a i'm not ashamed of the guy or i mean this is just his life

00:46:09.940 this is what's going on we're all just

00:46:11.560 you know people that are trying

00:46:13.200 um

00:46:14.380 but

00:46:15.680 but yeah at a certain point he owes it to the adult him

00:46:21.600 to try and

00:46:23.480 you know to try and get past it

00:46:26.560 and i understand the young you know him wanting to stay young forever and stay right where he is and

00:46:32.440 and nobody else is if you know if he stays living with his mom then there's not really space for

00:46:37.340 another man to come into the home and like you know it kind of like it just it's him just

00:46:42.120 at a at a core level just holding on to everything so much work you know

00:46:46.460 to what it was like when he was a kid

00:46:49.320 but

00:46:50.160 he owes it to an adult him sometimes to move on

00:46:53.480 you know because then then the adult him as an experience has a chance to live in the world and have an experience

00:46:59.660 um

00:47:00.740 but it just it made me think about a lot of things it made me think about

00:47:04.780 you know how

00:47:07.760 it made me think about what are ways that

00:47:11.760 when things happen to me that i would

00:47:13.740 then like try and control

00:47:16.480 that i would

00:47:17.620 like then try and

00:47:20.240 control the world

00:47:21.820 so that i could show the world

00:47:24.640 you know

00:47:25.420 who's boss

00:47:27.560 you know like oh okay world you're gonna

00:47:30.240 uh

00:47:31.120 i don't know i can't think of some kind of but

00:47:34.700 but i could heavily relate to what this boy went you know

00:47:38.180 in a way like i could see like wow

00:47:40.440 sometimes if the if something happens to us then we

00:47:43.660 hold a grudge against the world

00:47:45.880 and we we can carry it out in ways that

00:47:48.180 over time aren't really helpful to us anymore

00:47:50.520 but it's so wild to see like you know you see this boy trapped in this man's body

00:47:56.160 and the the the man's body the adult wants to move on

00:48:00.900 but there's this boy just like holding on to like this

00:48:04.140 you know this grudge honestly against the world

00:48:08.600 and it's a fair grudge

00:48:11.180 you know the world took his father but it's it's an unfair grudge in the sense that

00:48:15.120 he's not being fair

00:48:18.160 to himself now

00:48:20.580 you know to the adult him that wants to really

00:48:23.300 feel free to

00:48:25.440 to challenge the world

00:48:27.760 and to take on the world

00:48:29.340 um

00:48:30.040 and i also maybe don't know what the fuck i'm talking about

00:48:32.960 um

00:48:34.100 but thank you guys so much for your care and concern

00:48:36.040 for your calls

00:48:37.200 for helping make uh

00:48:38.380 this podcast and the hotline into a freaking

00:48:41.280 you know we're shooting an actual episodes of a tv show

00:48:44.680 that's goofy and funny

00:48:46.020 and engaging

00:48:47.380 and helpful

00:48:48.660 um

00:48:50.060 man it's crazy you know it's just like even if it doesn't even get picked up

00:48:54.620 by comedy central i mean who knows

00:48:55.960 i mean they've picked up some real clunkers over the years

00:48:59.700 but um

00:49:00.920 but i'm hopeful that it will

00:49:02.580 and i'm hopeful that we have a great experience over there

00:49:04.680 uh

00:49:06.060 because i know that we have a good audience and

00:49:08.220 and we got a special kind of funny

00:49:10.940 and i'd love to see it uh

00:49:12.200 maybe get embraced over there and have an opportunity

00:49:14.260 but if not

00:49:15.320 it's already been a really great experience

00:49:17.300 just being able to be um

00:49:18.800 to meet some just listeners of the podcast

00:49:21.360 and be a part of their lives

00:49:23.440 even for just a couple of days

00:49:24.720 um

00:49:26.260 you can go to ridgewallet.com

00:49:28.620 slash theo

00:49:29.400 and use the code

00:49:30.400 t-h-e-o

00:49:31.280 at checkout for 10%

00:49:32.700 that's code

00:49:33.580 t-h-e-o

00:49:34.940 for 10% off

00:49:36.040 at ridgewallet.com

00:49:38.000 if you're tired of carrying things in the back of your pocket

00:49:40.620 and having that booty

00:49:41.600 that little booty hump

00:49:42.920 you know

00:49:44.260 a wallet

00:49:45.740 sometimes people will look at your pants

00:49:47.280 and be like

00:49:47.540 oh what happened

00:49:48.380 did that guy do a real

00:49:50.160 like a strong duty or something in his pocket

00:49:52.420 and then try to hide money in it

00:49:55.280 no

00:49:56.480 that's a wallet

00:49:57.320 and it needs to

00:49:59.260 evolve

00:50:00.260 because times change

00:50:02.200 and i ask you to

00:50:02.880 change the times

00:50:04.380 and get that new front pocket carry

00:50:06.340 the ridge wallet is a very

00:50:08.380 i got mine right here

00:50:09.560 that ridge wallet

00:50:11.000 you hear this

00:50:12.520 that ain't ASMR baby

00:50:16.100 that's R-I-D-G-E

00:50:17.860 that's that ridge hitter

00:50:19.380 and it's that front pocket carry

00:50:21.400 it minimizes all the stuff you're carrying around

00:50:23.280 if you

00:50:23.560 you have a wallet

00:50:24.340 with your birth certificate in it

00:50:26.060 you know

00:50:26.820 some scratch and sniff

00:50:27.960 pictures of some old cock

00:50:29.920 or something from junior high

00:50:31.280 get rid of that shit

00:50:32.740 bro

00:50:33.060 carry around the things you need most

00:50:35.280 and get that ridge wallet

00:50:36.360 it's that front pocket carry

00:50:37.620 let's take a couple calls

00:50:40.240 as always

00:50:40.800 the hotline

00:50:41.300 985-664-9503

00:50:44.400 man i wish i had me a piece of gray block pizza right now

00:50:47.120 let's hit the hotline

00:50:48.140 hey what's up theo

00:50:49.280 this is andrew from alabama

00:50:51.040 hey andrew thank you for calling

00:50:52.860 and i have a sister-in-law that lives down in alabama

00:50:55.060 and um

00:50:55.980 and she has two boys

00:50:57.780 and uh

00:50:59.140 and they are beautiful kids

00:51:00.600 and they're

00:51:01.140 she's a really really

00:51:01.980 uh good woman

00:51:03.180 her name's holly

00:51:03.900 and she's always been a nice uh

00:51:06.060 she's always been a special person

00:51:07.620 i've had in my life

00:51:08.400 um

00:51:09.320 and her boys are really good kids

00:51:11.060 one of them has a birthday

00:51:11.880 coming up

00:51:12.540 anyway

00:51:12.800 don't know why i told you all that

00:51:13.940 let's go

00:51:14.480 gang gang

00:51:15.420 gang bro

00:51:17.140 i'm calling in because

00:51:18.160 um

00:51:18.980 i don't even know how to begin man

00:51:21.600 um

00:51:22.240 you say often in your podcast

00:51:24.860 about how you feel

00:51:26.120 uncomfortable for

00:51:27.980 a good majority of the time

00:51:30.140 and i experience that

00:51:32.280 i relate to that man

00:51:33.200 you talk a lot about how

00:51:34.980 most of your childhood

00:51:36.720 was just you being uncomfortable

00:51:38.180 and

00:51:38.740 just anxious

00:51:40.160 and

00:51:40.680 constantly worried

00:51:41.820 and

00:51:42.180 and afraid to

00:51:43.340 believe in yourself

00:51:44.300 and

00:51:44.600 just dealing with a lot of self-doubt

00:51:46.780 and

00:51:47.040 you know

00:51:48.760 i relate to that man

00:51:49.620 i get it

00:51:50.300 because

00:51:50.560 everything

00:51:51.500 everything scares me to death man

00:51:54.040 like i don't have any confidence

00:51:55.680 i don't have any time

00:51:56.780 self-worth

00:51:58.620 it's like i just

00:51:59.600 somebody tells me

00:52:01.560 that they care about me

00:52:02.760 or they love me

00:52:03.360 or i did good at something

00:52:04.460 and i'm just like

00:52:05.300 eh

00:52:06.140 so my question is

00:52:08.280 how do you deal with that

00:52:09.280 like how do you get over

00:52:10.620 the doubt

00:52:11.360 and the fear

00:52:11.960 and

00:52:12.280 being uncomfortable

00:52:13.720 i mean

00:52:15.320 and i've

00:52:16.220 i've had a lot of people tell me

00:52:17.600 well you should go talk to somebody

00:52:19.040 go see a therapist

00:52:19.780 or something

00:52:20.340 and it just

00:52:21.700 i feel like

00:52:23.420 and there's nothing wrong with that

00:52:24.780 but for me

00:52:25.360 i feel like i should be able to rise above those problems on my own

00:52:29.920 but i don't have the slightest clue how

00:52:32.360 and

00:52:34.660 i was just

00:52:35.620 wondering if you had any advice or

00:52:38.000 any suggestions or some encouragement

00:52:40.460 i love the show

00:52:41.720 keep doing what you're doing

00:52:42.680 gang gang

00:52:43.500 gang gang brother

00:52:44.900 and thank you for reaching out from alabama

00:52:46.420 and uh

00:52:47.360 and kudos to nick saberman

00:52:49.400 and he reminds me of bill belichick

00:52:51.260 and even

00:52:51.580 you know

00:52:52.120 and i know i'm

00:52:53.220 i know that all alabama isn't

00:52:55.720 uh

00:52:56.200 university of uh

00:52:57.880 roll tide fans

00:52:58.660 but

00:52:58.920 you know

00:52:59.780 you may be an auburn fan

00:53:00.900 you may be a usa fan

00:53:02.460 you may be a

00:53:03.260 um

00:53:04.000 you know

00:53:05.140 mobile state

00:53:06.380 but

00:53:07.460 but anyway

00:53:08.800 nick saberman is amazing

00:53:09.900 and bill belichick and him remind me of each other

00:53:12.400 um

00:53:12.960 i just said that

00:53:15.460 because i was trying to relate to you on some way

00:53:17.240 uh

00:53:18.060 about football in alabama

00:53:20.120 but

00:53:20.560 yeah man it's so funny

00:53:22.220 while you're talking some of those things

00:53:23.380 man you really reminded me of myself in some ways

00:53:26.120 you know

00:53:27.100 just the uncomfortability

00:53:28.480 you know

00:53:30.060 just never feel like

00:53:31.100 i just never felt like

00:53:32.160 uh

00:53:32.600 just uncomfortable man

00:53:35.740 just not a comfort

00:53:38.200 not a comfort in me

00:53:39.980 and so then i would spend more time by myself

00:53:42.060 after a while

00:53:42.900 and

00:53:43.120 because i knew then i would at least be

00:53:45.480 i wouldn't be

00:53:46.700 displaying that uncomfort to others

00:53:48.840 you know

00:53:50.380 and for me it happened

00:53:51.200 i think someone just didn't tell me when i was young

00:53:53.160 that

00:53:53.400 what my feelings were

00:53:55.580 and what i was feeling

00:53:56.660 and that it was okay

00:53:57.660 even if when you're young

00:53:59.940 if you feel uncomfortable

00:54:00.660 somebody says

00:54:01.260 hey

00:54:01.480 if you're uncomfortable right now

00:54:02.940 it's okay

00:54:03.600 then that sets a whole different

00:54:06.220 narrative in your head

00:54:08.360 that now if i feel uncomfortable

00:54:10.000 oh it's okay

00:54:10.660 it's just something that's happening

00:54:11.660 and i'll be bad

00:54:12.280 i'll be fine

00:54:13.000 um

00:54:14.540 yeah you could go see someone

00:54:16.600 if you want to

00:54:17.380 man

00:54:17.620 my experience with therapy

00:54:19.920 one-on-one

00:54:20.900 has not been

00:54:22.080 as helpful

00:54:24.900 as uh

00:54:26.540 12-step programs have been

00:54:28.360 so

00:54:30.160 you know

00:54:30.800 and i'll say this a lot of times

00:54:31.820 i go to

00:54:32.280 you know

00:54:32.620 i'll go to different meetings

00:54:33.800 and 12-step

00:54:34.580 and aa meetings

00:54:35.620 and that sort of thing

00:54:36.640 because

00:54:37.640 for me

00:54:38.760 i need a group experience

00:54:41.540 i need to

00:54:42.780 see others learn

00:54:45.340 to help me learn

00:54:46.540 in real time

00:54:48.060 i need to see it all go on

00:54:49.360 that's

00:54:49.620 i need a strong proof

00:54:51.020 and

00:54:52.480 and so that's where i get it

00:54:54.460 and people say

00:54:55.980 you might say

00:54:56.520 well i'm not an alcoholic

00:54:57.500 i'm not on drugs

00:54:58.380 that's fine

00:54:59.040 dude i don't know

00:55:00.800 if i'm an alcoholic

00:55:01.540 or a drug addict

00:55:02.400 i really don't

00:55:04.000 but

00:55:04.660 i

00:55:05.580 but the program is so great

00:55:07.600 i don't give a fuck

00:55:09.100 if i am

00:55:09.820 the program is so great

00:55:12.480 i stay in

00:55:13.460 because it's great

00:55:15.440 because there's so many benefits

00:55:17.540 but it helped me

00:55:18.480 with starting to realize that

00:55:19.940 um

00:55:22.480 it just helped me

00:55:23.280 with the way i related to myself

00:55:24.660 and it helped me

00:55:26.780 man i just

00:55:27.860 i felt more self-worth

00:55:29.180 i felt less uncomfortable

00:55:30.400 i felt more confident

00:55:32.140 in the space that i was in

00:55:33.520 it gave me an environment

00:55:35.340 to shine emotionally

00:55:36.900 that's what

00:55:38.380 being in

00:55:39.320 12 step program

00:55:40.860 helped me do

00:55:41.600 and people will say

00:55:43.160 well you can't drink anymore

00:55:44.360 you can't do

00:55:44.900 i don't give a fuck bro

00:55:46.320 my life has been great

00:55:49.760 my life has been great

00:55:52.400 there's not

00:55:53.320 there's a couple moments

00:55:54.240 where i've wanted to drink

00:55:55.300 you know

00:55:55.720 or to do a big booty rail

00:55:57.580 you know

00:55:58.140 do that fucking ride

00:55:59.580 that white lightning bro

00:56:00.900 you know

00:56:01.980 let that electric eel

00:56:03.520 just slither up

00:56:04.600 into my fucking

00:56:05.280 cranny owl boy

00:56:06.540 you know

00:56:07.080 start looking for the lord

00:56:08.760 but

00:56:10.180 for the most point

00:56:11.340 i don't

00:56:11.960 but i think that you can have

00:56:15.360 a you know

00:56:16.160 it's almost like

00:56:17.240 the the 12 step programs

00:56:18.620 they give me like

00:56:19.340 a wading pool

00:56:20.220 where i can learn humanity

00:56:21.560 at a comfortable space

00:56:23.080 before being back out

00:56:25.000 in the deep end

00:56:25.660 of regular life

00:56:26.520 and when i get back out there

00:56:28.300 i'm doing

00:56:28.600 you know

00:56:28.980 i can doggy paddle now

00:56:30.500 you know

00:56:31.240 i can swim a little

00:56:32.180 whereas before

00:56:33.400 i was just fighting

00:56:34.080 the currents constantly

00:56:35.160 and just

00:56:35.540 man just

00:56:36.780 i just gotta feel okay

00:56:38.200 or i gotta seem okay

00:56:39.140 to others

00:56:39.720 that was the biggest thing

00:56:41.680 and you mentioned

00:56:42.620 something about that

00:56:43.340 let's go back to that

00:56:44.280 man

00:56:44.620 and i experience that

00:56:46.980 i relate to that man

00:56:47.900 you talk a lot about how

00:56:49.680 most of your childhood

00:56:51.420 was just you being

00:56:52.400 uncomfortable

00:56:52.880 and

00:56:53.440 just anxious

00:56:54.860 and constantly worried

00:56:56.520 and

00:56:56.880 and afraid to

00:56:58.040 believe in yourself

00:56:59.000 and

00:56:59.300 just dealing with a lot

00:57:00.760 of self-doubt

00:57:01.480 and

00:57:01.760 you know

00:57:03.460 i relate to that man

00:57:04.320 i get it

00:57:05.020 because

00:57:05.260 everything

00:57:06.200 everything scares me

00:57:08.020 to death man

00:57:08.740 it's like

00:57:09.380 i don't have any confidence

00:57:11.040 i don't have any time

00:57:11.980 yeah things scare me

00:57:13.420 to death man

00:57:13.880 recently this weekend

00:57:14.620 i got so scared about

00:57:15.780 you know

00:57:16.560 getting older

00:57:17.380 man it really just scared me

00:57:19.920 god i hated it

00:57:21.160 and i had that moment

00:57:23.180 where you think that

00:57:23.760 everybody's gonna be gone

00:57:24.860 and you're gonna be gone

00:57:25.880 and all the people you love

00:57:27.000 are gonna be gone

00:57:27.860 and

00:57:28.140 and man it just really scared me

00:57:32.260 so

00:57:33.440 i'm glad to be here

00:57:34.460 in this moment now

00:57:35.320 where i'm not

00:57:35.940 there

00:57:36.700 where i'm connecting with somebody

00:57:38.080 and

00:57:39.120 you know

00:57:41.860 i'll say this

00:57:44.700 i didn't believe

00:57:45.640 that there was a different

00:57:46.360 experience in the world

00:57:47.480 than the one that i was having

00:57:49.200 and then

00:57:50.720 i tried some different things

00:57:52.260 i tried the 12-step recover

00:57:53.780 i tried different stuff

00:57:54.740 and i had a new experience

00:57:56.460 dude you're talking to somebody

00:57:57.800 i'm not the kind of dude

00:57:59.540 i'm not buying all the snake oil

00:58:03.000 i don't fucking

00:58:03.700 you know

00:58:04.300 i don't watch storm chasers

00:58:07.420 you know what i'm saying daddy

00:58:08.820 i mean look

00:58:09.560 i fucking love

00:58:10.560 looking for the rain

00:58:11.600 but

00:58:11.960 and i might watch

00:58:13.400 you know

00:58:13.720 if they had a show called

00:58:14.800 gravity hunters

00:58:15.640 i might watch a couple episodes

00:58:17.020 but i

00:58:18.680 you know

00:58:19.540 you know

00:58:22.300 i

00:58:22.660 i don't find myself

00:58:24.400 to be very

00:58:25.300 uh

00:58:26.520 emotionally gullible

00:58:28.780 but when i came into

00:58:31.740 those environments

00:58:32.540 man in these rooms

00:58:33.560 and these 12-step rooms

00:58:34.620 you're like that dude

00:58:35.500 there was

00:58:37.300 something different

00:58:38.460 i had a different experience

00:58:39.960 with the world

00:58:40.860 as i knew it

00:58:42.160 bro

00:58:43.880 it shocked me

00:58:44.580 and then i started to get over

00:58:46.800 some of those things

00:58:47.400 because i didn't care

00:58:48.380 you know

00:58:49.220 you're uncomfortable

00:58:50.040 in the world that you're in

00:58:51.160 but the

00:58:51.440 maybe your perception

00:58:52.440 of the world that you're in

00:58:53.540 isn't

00:58:54.480 accurate

00:58:55.120 and you needed somebody

00:58:57.040 maybe when you were young

00:58:57.920 to tell us

00:58:58.400 you know

00:58:58.600 we need somebody

00:58:59.220 when we're young

00:58:59.940 to tell us we're okay

00:59:01.480 to just

00:59:02.160 if we're scared

00:59:03.340 to recognize it

00:59:04.460 you know

00:59:06.240 and say

00:59:07.860 hey it's okay

00:59:08.540 if you're scared

00:59:09.100 you know

00:59:09.600 i'm here for you

00:59:10.380 don't be scared

00:59:11.680 i got you

00:59:12.300 you know

00:59:12.980 everything's okay

00:59:13.720 you can be scared

00:59:14.920 if you want

00:59:15.320 for a little bit

00:59:15.880 but you don't have

00:59:16.360 to be scared forever

00:59:17.160 you know

00:59:18.400 we need somebody

00:59:19.040 to tell us those things

00:59:19.960 when we're little

00:59:20.560 and if we don't get them

00:59:21.980 then that fear

00:59:22.540 just stays inside of us

00:59:23.880 i think

00:59:24.220 and just kind of

00:59:25.060 just

00:59:25.380 just vibes up and down

00:59:27.160 our spine

00:59:27.760 just like a little light

00:59:28.800 you know

00:59:29.280 like electricity

00:59:30.180 like that

00:59:31.000 like them big siemens

00:59:32.440 in a lava lamp

00:59:33.420 so

00:59:35.820 but those are things

00:59:38.120 that work

00:59:38.440 therapy

00:59:39.240 you know

00:59:40.020 it's definitely been helpful

00:59:41.000 but it's been a longer

00:59:42.000 slower road

00:59:43.000 i think group therapy

00:59:44.520 could be something

00:59:45.100 that would be really

00:59:45.620 really cool

00:59:46.180 i like the experience

00:59:48.080 of

00:59:48.420 i like the experience

00:59:49.680 of therapy

00:59:50.220 in a setting

00:59:51.620 with other people

00:59:52.540 because a lot of times

00:59:54.040 i can only learn

00:59:55.100 when i see someone else

00:59:56.320 have a moment

00:59:57.260 where they learn

00:59:58.080 and then it makes me

00:59:59.500 learn about me

01:00:00.280 you know

01:00:01.380 when i see somebody

01:00:02.060 really have an emotional

01:00:02.940 moment

01:00:03.340 and they

01:00:03.700 you know

01:00:04.460 really have some feelings

01:00:05.360 go off inside of them

01:00:06.620 and

01:00:06.840 man

01:00:07.780 and then i

01:00:08.500 and then i react to that

01:00:09.860 it shows me

01:00:11.600 wow

01:00:11.960 you know

01:00:12.620 you know

01:00:14.140 i do care about others

01:00:15.100 i am having a real experience

01:00:16.620 um

01:00:17.460 i don't think that was

01:00:18.420 super helpful

01:00:19.020 but

01:00:19.460 but don't be too hard

01:00:22.780 on yourself either

01:00:23.500 but all those things

01:00:24.860 can be solved

01:00:25.400 in a

01:00:25.940 naa i think

01:00:27.060 can be a good solution

01:00:28.060 and you get new friends

01:00:29.140 man this shit is fucking dope

01:00:30.240 uh

01:00:30.920 let's take another call

01:00:31.760 here we go

01:00:32.760 yeah what's up there

01:00:33.880 my name is andrew

01:00:35.400 from northern california

01:00:36.980 what's up andrew

01:00:38.020 thank you for calling man

01:00:38.900 northern california

01:00:39.980 and that's a beautiful area

01:00:41.140 up there

01:00:41.580 beautiful man

01:00:43.180 great place to get some

01:00:43.960 fucking weed

01:00:44.560 and get some uh

01:00:45.400 clean water

01:00:46.000 let's go

01:00:46.660 figured i'd call in

01:00:48.940 this weekend

01:00:49.840 because

01:00:50.460 it was one of those

01:00:52.720 best worst weekend

01:00:53.720 situations

01:00:54.760 last weekend

01:00:56.500 my dad died

01:00:57.760 so

01:00:58.360 well i'm sorry to hear that man

01:01:00.900 i'm sorry to uh

01:01:02.720 to hear

01:01:03.120 to hear about that

01:01:04.220 onward

01:01:04.880 figure i have to call now

01:01:06.280 or it wouldn't apply anymore

01:01:07.720 but

01:01:09.100 basically a warning

01:01:10.180 to all your listeners

01:01:11.140 something that you know

01:01:12.640 about already

01:01:13.340 drug addiction

01:01:14.340 but

01:01:14.840 my father died

01:01:17.040 at 54

01:01:17.760 stage 4 lung cancer

01:01:19.940 addicted to all his life

01:01:22.180 cigarettes

01:01:24.040 started when he was 12

01:01:25.560 but

01:01:25.980 ended with

01:01:27.020 meth

01:01:27.880 you know

01:01:28.520 so

01:01:29.040 wow

01:01:29.740 that's a big problem

01:01:30.800 for a lot of people

01:01:31.640 in america

01:01:32.740 uh

01:01:34.480 yeah

01:01:34.740 just

01:01:35.200 shouting out

01:01:36.280 trying to spread the warning

01:01:37.720 basically

01:01:38.220 nothing but

01:01:39.760 i know this is what

01:01:41.940 the shit's about

01:01:42.680 i listen to you

01:01:43.520 so

01:01:43.960 gang gang

01:01:44.740 gang gang

01:01:46.220 brother

01:01:46.540 i'm so sorry to hear that

01:01:47.620 your father passed away

01:01:48.720 man

01:01:49.160 i'm sorry man

01:01:50.840 you know

01:01:53.360 i can't really imagine

01:01:54.460 you know

01:01:55.360 i can't imagine

01:01:55.980 what that's like

01:01:56.620 in a fresh

01:01:57.220 take

01:01:58.060 uh

01:02:01.200 and addiction

01:02:02.700 is powerful

01:02:03.440 i think it's

01:02:04.960 it's uh

01:02:05.580 very kind of you

01:02:06.500 to reference that

01:02:07.480 you know

01:02:09.400 to reference that

01:02:10.360 you know

01:02:10.720 he

01:02:11.060 even though

01:02:12.320 some of it was his own choice

01:02:13.660 to smoke

01:02:14.460 or to

01:02:14.920 you know

01:02:15.560 to do drugs

01:02:16.320 he has some choice in there

01:02:17.460 but also when it comes to addiction

01:02:18.920 there's not

01:02:19.500 the choice

01:02:20.460 the ability to choose

01:02:21.920 is very

01:02:23.020 very

01:02:24.020 uh

01:02:25.020 heavily weighted

01:02:25.880 in um

01:02:27.640 against you

01:02:28.460 the ability to really have an influence

01:02:31.140 on yourself

01:02:31.740 once addiction

01:02:32.420 has really

01:02:33.000 got its grips on you

01:02:34.540 and i think it's uh

01:02:36.440 it's very kind of you

01:02:37.620 to recognize that

01:02:38.360 about your father

01:02:39.120 instead of um

01:02:40.400 you know

01:02:41.920 just pointing the finger

01:02:42.880 uh

01:02:44.420 you're kind of uh

01:02:46.920 you know

01:02:49.880 just um

01:02:51.060 you're just saying

01:02:52.300 hey you know

01:02:52.740 i know that a lot of this was addiction

01:02:54.200 but i'm sorry man

01:02:55.940 you know

01:02:57.300 i'm really sorry that that happened

01:02:59.440 and

01:02:59.820 you know

01:03:01.460 i was just talking about this yesterday

01:03:02.600 with somebody

01:03:03.200 that i hate

01:03:03.980 i hate sometimes

01:03:05.160 when you don't

01:03:05.960 when something happens

01:03:06.760 that's real tough

01:03:08.080 in someone's life

01:03:08.620 that you don't know what to say

01:03:09.660 doesn't that

01:03:11.240 isn't that a bummer

01:03:12.100 you know

01:03:13.600 you don't know how to

01:03:14.100 you know

01:03:14.500 you don't know what to say

01:03:16.540 and it's not your responsibility

01:03:17.860 to make somebody feel okay

01:03:19.300 but it's like

01:03:19.740 you don't

01:03:20.080 you know

01:03:20.480 you know

01:03:21.860 words can't really express

01:03:23.220 or say

01:03:24.460 what

01:03:24.720 what i want to say

01:03:26.480 i don't think

01:03:27.000 i mean i want to say something

01:03:29.000 that makes you feel okay

01:03:30.420 you know

01:03:31.560 i want to say something

01:03:32.280 that makes you feel loved

01:03:33.780 and cared about

01:03:34.700 and something that

01:03:36.700 you know

01:03:37.540 reminds you that your father

01:03:39.020 cared about you

01:03:41.060 and something that

01:03:42.640 you know

01:03:43.140 i want to say

01:03:43.840 something that makes you know

01:03:46.280 with a hundred percent

01:03:49.440 reality

01:03:51.000 that you will see your father again sometime

01:03:52.880 But there's nothing really to say to do all that.

01:03:58.560 But I do believe that, and I think it's sweet of you to share it with us.

01:04:05.240 And I bet your father was very proud of you.

01:04:07.980 You know, you sound like you're a young man that's very understanding.

01:04:10.660 And what strength it must take to be understanding of addiction in a moment when it's the very thing that took your father.

01:04:25.360 Man, that's pretty powerful.

01:04:28.400 I mean, that's really unconditional love right there.

01:04:31.900 Because a lot of people would just say, oh, you know, they would just be angry at their dad.

01:04:37.840 Oh, fuck him, fuck him.

01:04:40.360 You know, he didn't take care of me.

01:04:41.520 He didn't do this.

01:04:43.420 And yeah, there could be a little bit of that.

01:04:46.200 But the fact that you're understanding enough to know that the power of addiction is this whole tug of war that's going on.

01:04:53.340 That's constantly, you know, really, really pulling away at people's ability to choose.

01:05:01.740 Man, I bet your dad was pretty, I bet he marveled a lot at your ability to be understanding.

01:05:06.840 And you're, just to, you know, to recognize that even in a moment like this, that's pretty powerful, man.

01:05:15.080 But my thoughts will be with you, brother.

01:05:17.320 And just take care of yourself.

01:05:21.380 You know, take care of yourself, man.

01:05:24.440 Addiction is, it is hereditary as well.

01:05:27.300 So, love you, man.

01:05:29.560 Let's take another call.

01:05:30.400 Here we go.

01:05:31.180 And yeah, the cigarettes I know about it, man.

01:05:34.980 Man, it, and it kills your ability to relate to others.

01:05:38.600 Because when I need a friend, or when I need a God, or when I need, instead of that, I go to a cigarette sometimes.

01:05:45.140 And then it's whatever else I needed that was going to be very real in my life.

01:05:49.420 I don't get that.

01:05:50.800 I just get this little hit.

01:05:52.300 Onward.

01:05:54.280 Peace.

01:05:56.680 Hey, what's up, Theo?

01:05:57.900 It's Nate from Indiana.

01:05:59.320 Dirty Nate from Indiana.

01:06:03.100 And I saw a tow truck hit an owl one time in Indiana, and that's true.

01:06:06.900 Over there on, I think, 52 or 57, 53, whatever it was, going from Indianapolis to Bloomington.

01:06:15.660 Onward.

01:06:17.420 I was just listening to one of your podcasts from January 8th, and again, you were talking about being scared in a relationship and all that.

01:06:25.000 I understand, man.

01:06:27.240 He's saying you were talking about being scared in a relationship.

01:06:30.200 Let's hear more.

01:06:30.900 You made some analogy about something to do with seeing a lake and someone telling you to swim.

01:06:38.260 Well, back in the day, they just tossed your ass in the lake.

01:06:42.080 And you'll learn to swim.

01:06:43.840 And you're a smart boy, Theo, I think.

01:06:46.220 I think you'll learn to swim if you give it a try.

01:06:48.760 All right.

01:06:49.340 Love you, man.

01:06:49.940 Bye.

01:06:50.720 Gang, bro.

01:06:51.500 Love you, man.

01:06:53.820 Yeah, I think you're right, dude.

01:06:55.240 I think I have all these reservations sometimes about relationship and getting married and settling down, and a lot of it is just fear.

01:07:03.640 And if I would just put myself into it, I would probably manage okay.

01:07:09.440 You're probably right, man.

01:07:10.740 And I just hope I find some willingness to do that.

01:07:16.720 You know, because I really think I do want the outcomes of a life with someone else or a life with a family and being able to be a father and stuff like that.

01:07:26.640 But I appreciate you even thinking enough about it to give me a buzz about it.

01:07:32.080 Onward.

01:07:32.380 What's up, Theo?

01:07:35.900 This is Will down in Fort Myers, Florida.

01:07:39.100 What's up, Will?

01:07:39.660 Fort Myers, dude.

01:07:41.820 Great place to get sunburned and a fucking, you know, and some fucking, they got some brown tits down there.

01:07:48.880 Let's hear more.

01:07:49.860 It's Sunday evening.

01:07:51.040 I'm on the way home from watching that Super Bowl right now.

01:07:53.340 Tom Brady.

01:07:53.940 And all I can think about is having a heater, a damn cigarette on the way home.

01:07:59.700 Oh, yeah, boy.

01:08:00.360 You want that fucking face header, boy.

01:08:02.360 You know what I'm saying?

01:08:03.920 You want that heeeeder.

01:08:07.320 Onward.

01:08:08.520 Just looking for some words of encouragement, man.

01:08:11.160 I'm on day 10 and no cigarettes.

01:08:13.720 Wow.

01:08:15.900 Wow, dude.

01:08:16.640 Well, you want some encouragement, dude?

01:08:17.980 Let me take you to right here, bro.

01:08:19.520 Here we go.

01:08:22.380 Here's your encouragement.

01:08:23.940 Addicted all his life.

01:08:27.760 Cigarettes.

01:08:28.560 Started when he was 12, but ended with meth, you know?

01:08:33.120 So.

01:08:34.000 There you go, daddy.

01:08:35.920 Cigarettes.

01:08:36.320 Yeah, this is Will.

01:08:37.240 A damn cigarette on the way home.

01:08:39.980 Ended when he was, started with cigarettes and the meth, man.

01:08:42.620 That's a gateway drug.

01:08:44.960 You know, cigarettes to meth.

01:08:46.720 What else?

01:08:47.140 You might go to fucking, you know, I say drywall.

01:08:51.380 A lot of people, if they start hanging drywall, doing construction, it could be meth then.

01:08:57.160 Drywall is a gateway drug, brother.

01:08:59.660 Be careful out there.

01:09:01.020 Okay, you got 10 days.

01:09:02.080 Let's hear more.

01:09:02.660 I'm just looking for some words of encouragement, man.

01:09:05.540 I'm on day 10 and no cigarettes.

01:09:08.040 So I've been sucking down them swirly dope hitters like crazy.

01:09:12.300 Anyways, man, I know you've been dealing with that.

01:09:14.200 If I can get some help, any suggestions, I'd appreciate that.

01:09:18.580 And thanks again for everything you do, man.

01:09:20.320 Onward.

01:09:21.280 Onward, brother.

01:09:21.940 That's amazing, man.

01:09:23.520 Well, you know, look, I think it's warming, you know, to the gentleman whose father passed away that you're calling trying to fight it.

01:09:30.820 Man, because look, the world will put a lot of shit out there that we can't fight.

01:09:35.080 You know, they got pornography at such high definition.

01:09:37.580 We can't fight that.

01:09:38.600 You can't.

01:09:39.120 Your senses can't.

01:09:40.560 The dopamine, you get hooked.

01:09:42.760 Cigarette, you get hooked.

01:09:44.000 These companies want you hooked.

01:09:45.960 They don't want no Freemasons out there.

01:09:47.700 They don't want no free men out there.

01:09:50.120 You want to talk about a modern day slavery, man.

01:09:52.460 I'll tell you what it is.

01:09:53.800 It's these corporations and their ability to hold us and to own us with their medicines in there and their elixirs and their fancy, you know, different types of fuckery, bro.

01:10:05.480 That's what's happening.

01:10:07.040 We're getting held down by these corpse.

01:10:11.780 And we got to stay strong.

01:10:13.940 And I don't know if you're still on day 11 now, but if you are, good luck.

01:10:17.300 And if you aren't, man, then I'm sorry, but you can start over.

01:10:20.580 You know, I just set up an appointment with my doctor to possibly get Chantix.

01:10:24.620 You know, I'm doing good with the cigarettes, but I'm not done.

01:10:28.920 You know, honestly, man, I've been thinking about it even during this taping.

01:10:35.340 And I don't want to do it because I don't like the way it makes me feel.

01:10:38.420 It makes me agitated.

01:10:39.920 And it makes me agitated towards others.

01:10:42.180 It makes me feel uncomfortable.

01:10:43.640 It makes me feel ashamed of myself.

01:10:45.100 And it makes me feel like I'm not going to have the future that I want because I'm not going to be alive to share it.

01:10:50.600 But at the same time, if you're out there smoking, man, fucking I'm sorry, bro, to me to get in all of this shit because I ain't trying to ruin your vibe.

01:10:58.200 But if you're wanting to quit, I am trying to support your vibe.

01:11:00.820 But if you're enjoying them and you don't, you know, then you go enjoy them.

01:11:07.240 Gang, gang, man, let's take a call.

01:11:09.680 Hey, this is Jay Edison.

01:11:11.340 I'm going to your Columbus show.

01:11:13.880 And I wanted to nominate a single mom.

01:11:17.040 Oh, well, thanks, Jay Edison, man.

01:11:18.940 I appreciate that.

01:11:20.720 Yes, I would love to do something special with a single mom this weekend in Columbus.

01:11:25.460 Tell me more, bro.

01:11:26.780 Off your podcast you were talking about.

01:11:28.700 Her name is Kira Drabeck.

01:11:32.500 She used to live with me and my wife last year as a two-year-old baby girl.

01:11:40.100 And I know she could use the night out.

01:11:43.280 Phone number for me is 5...

01:11:45.120 Okay, we'll keep your phone number out of it.

01:11:49.320 Thank you. Bye.

01:11:50.800 All right, man. Thank you.

01:11:52.520 We will reach out to her.

01:11:54.140 That's very nice of you.

01:11:55.640 And that's sweet that she's got a two-year-old girl.

01:11:58.140 It sounds like you and your wife try to be of service.

01:12:00.460 And, you know, I was thinking a lot about that, man, that I want to have a child.

01:12:03.960 And, you know, and I would like to adopt some children as well.

01:12:07.240 You know, if God blesses me, you know, or my higher power blesses me with, you know, with enough money to have a household in an environment where I have enough space to have extra children, then I really would consider it.

01:12:21.340 But, you know, I think I would want to take some more classes and stuff on parenting and learn about that kind of stuff more.

01:12:27.160 But, you know, I watched my brother be a parent and my sister, and I know that, you know, we have it in our genes to be able to do it.

01:12:33.980 And, you know, I just want to be able to have a, you know, have that be part of my life when I'm ready to, you know, when I'm ready to grow up fully.

01:12:43.700 And that's the funny thing that I remembered about that kid that he reminded me of, that we shot the episode with, is that, man, I want to stay sometimes too, man.

01:12:53.880 You know, I don't want to let that little kid inside of me, I don't want to let him grow up without all the things that he wanted because they're not there.

01:13:01.180 But at a certain point, that kid, that time is gone.

01:13:04.660 And the best thing I can do for that kid is let him become an adult.

01:13:10.360 Let's take one more call here.

01:13:11.600 And thank you, we'll reach out to that single mom.

01:13:13.720 That's a great idea, and I look forward to meeting this young lady, if it works out.

01:13:19.020 Onward.

01:13:19.520 What's up, Theo?

01:13:20.500 This is Blake Creighton.

01:13:22.000 I don't know if I'm supposed to say my name.

01:13:24.460 Hello, man.

01:13:25.200 I'm from Covington, Louisiana.

01:13:27.320 Oh, Covington, Louisiana.

01:13:28.780 And that's my town.

01:13:29.560 That's where I grew up in over there.

01:13:31.140 And I grew up there off of Lee Road out there.

01:13:34.380 You know, and right off of McGee Street over there as well.

01:13:38.160 And so I spent some good time out there in Covington, Louisiana.

01:13:41.540 And this boy's name is Blake.

01:13:42.840 Onward.

01:13:43.360 You know my brother, I'm not sure he'd be lying sometimes.

01:13:46.220 But look, I just want to thank you, first off, for being from my hometown and not being a piece of shit.

01:13:52.960 I think that's super cool.

01:13:55.340 Anyway, my question is...

01:13:57.280 Thank you.

01:13:58.560 That's nice of you to say, man.

01:13:59.740 I mean, I think I probably am a piece of shit, but it's nice that you haven't recognized it yet.

01:14:05.740 But no, I was fortunate to grow up in a place like that.

01:14:08.360 There was a lot of, you know, Covington has a lot of history and folklore and, you know, and a lot of good people, man.

01:14:16.920 I mean, there was a lot of good people, and I enjoyed it, man.

01:14:21.580 And it was, you know, it was fun, man.

01:14:24.400 I had fun, and I got to, you know, it was scary, but it was fun.

01:14:31.800 But it helped me, you know, it was where I started out, and I'm grateful.

01:14:36.540 Onward.

01:14:36.820 We've got a wife from Europe.

01:14:38.400 We're about to have a baby boy in July.

01:14:41.860 Okay, you have a wife from Europe, and you're about to have a baby boy in July.

01:14:44.880 Ah, and on the table is his spore skin.

01:14:51.320 What did you just say, on the table?

01:14:55.300 Let's hear it.

01:14:55.900 Hold on.

01:14:57.160 On the table is his spore skin.

01:15:00.080 The top debate is chop it or not.

01:15:03.080 Oh, I thought you meant it was on the damn table, dude.

01:15:06.080 I thought you had that shit laid out on the fucking table like a damn appetizer.

01:15:09.640 I was like, I think this is about to report this young fella.

01:15:15.860 Which wouldn't surprise me, sure, out of coming to Louisiana if people are sitting around having a couple of, you know,

01:15:21.080 you know, a little fucking circumcision on a cracker.

01:15:24.520 Let's hear more.

01:15:25.300 So it's a hot topic of debate.

01:15:27.100 Your wife's from Europe.

01:15:27.920 I'm in favor, because like father, like son, I'm wondering if you could weigh in on this.

01:15:34.420 Also, tell Brendan Schwartz to quit wearing tight pants.

01:15:37.800 That shit's weird.

01:15:38.460 All right, later.

01:15:40.020 Yeah, I will tell Brendan Schauer's that.

01:15:41.980 And this is the deal, brother.

01:15:44.400 This is where we are with this.

01:15:46.320 Circumcision.

01:15:46.680 Circumcision.

01:15:49.340 Get it done, man.

01:15:51.120 You can't be running around with extra dick if you ain't got the dick to back it up.

01:15:55.680 You know, you see these things, these people, they got extra dick meat at the end or, you know,

01:15:59.860 they got a little, they got that, they turtlenecking out there.

01:16:03.360 Their dick look like a long sleeve, you know, like a wizard or something.

01:16:07.880 You can't do that shit.

01:16:09.560 It look like their dick is like looking for something.

01:16:12.020 You can't do that shit.

01:16:13.120 Because then you pull the thing back, you still got a regular amount of dick on the inside.

01:16:18.740 So you're fronting with big dick and you're showing up with mid-medium dick.

01:16:24.620 I don't know, I just show up with medium dick.

01:16:28.440 Front with medium dick and show up with medium dick.

01:16:32.340 You know, people want to, they want to throw it out that long neck, you know.

01:16:36.660 And, but then, you know, they, you pull all the skin back and all, you got that little critter.

01:16:42.020 Just show up with a regular critter.

01:16:44.160 So I say cut it off, man, but save it.

01:16:47.680 Dude, a lot of that shit has stem cells in it now.

01:16:49.860 Do you drink a couple of those bitches, bro?

01:16:52.800 A little bit of JMO and some fucking stem cells off your baby boy's fucking chirp rod?

01:16:58.740 Same here, man.

01:17:00.840 No, you want me next level, baby.

01:17:03.980 Watch your fucking eyebrows grow in thicker, son.

01:17:07.220 I think you got a real chance to fucking meet the Lord like that.

01:17:10.380 So I say you got a chirp.

01:17:11.400 Dude, you can't have that boy with that long neck, you know.

01:17:15.260 Somebody dick got a long neck on it.

01:17:17.220 Get the fuck out of here.

01:17:19.580 Dick looks like it's in the dang, uh, the Shriners Club or something.

01:17:24.340 Like it's got one of them hats on it.

01:17:25.880 And them things, people, they do tricks with them and stuff.

01:17:30.100 People put coins in there.

01:17:31.680 They got a dude on the internet.

01:17:33.520 He put a whole, you know, like a roll of quarters.

01:17:35.500 He did all of that in his extra wiener skin.

01:17:38.920 Man, we're better than that, man.

01:17:41.460 So I say clip that thing out.

01:17:43.020 Feed it to a bird or something if you have to.

01:17:45.040 Give it back to Mother Nature.

01:17:47.760 But if not, man, just at least save it.

01:17:50.180 Put, you know, freeze that bad boy.

01:17:53.120 Freeze that bad boy up.

01:17:54.460 I want to thank everybody that came out and listened this week.

01:18:00.460 You know, I'm still trying to catch up on some rest.

01:18:02.280 We're shooting the rest of the pilot.

01:18:04.340 But I'm grateful for you guys.

01:18:05.620 I appreciate y'all being here and dealing with me.

01:18:08.360 And, you know, the past couple months have been a little stressful

01:18:11.240 because I've been tired, but trying to manage a little bit better.

01:18:16.560 And what else, man?

01:18:17.960 Just thank you so much.

01:18:19.800 You know, I don't even know what to say right now.

01:18:21.180 And I don't have to say anything.

01:18:25.440 And I don't know what you need to hear, but, you know,

01:18:29.320 to the guy you're feeling uncomfortable a lot of times, it's okay, bro.

01:18:33.940 You know, but be brave enough to try something new

01:18:38.800 so you can maybe have a new experience.

01:18:40.540 That's the only thing.

01:18:43.800 And also, don't be ashamed of the way that you are.

01:18:47.300 You know, sometimes we take words and we say it's one thing,

01:18:49.740 but really we're, you know, if you feel uncomfortable,

01:18:52.540 you might just be more emotionally aware than other people.

01:18:56.520 And when we're more emotionally aware,

01:18:58.560 we're going to notice more things going on inside of us

01:19:00.880 than other people who aren't.

01:19:03.580 So some of the things that seem like burdens

01:19:05.780 could really be blessings.

01:19:07.680 Because once you've, you know, if there's a way to realize

01:19:10.560 and put that emotional awareness to use,

01:19:13.300 you know, with raising your own kids,

01:19:16.280 and you're going to say things to them

01:19:17.460 that your parents wouldn't have said to you

01:19:18.860 because you interact with the world differently.

01:19:22.440 And you're going to tell your kid,

01:19:23.860 hey, everything, you are okay right now.

01:19:26.180 You know, and everything's okay.

01:19:27.480 And you can feel this way for a little bit,

01:19:30.000 but you can also feel this way

01:19:31.340 and feel proud of yourself and feel, you know,

01:19:34.160 nobody's judging you.

01:19:35.460 You know, there's things you're going to be able to tell

01:19:36.960 because your awareness of the world

01:19:38.360 is going to be different.

01:19:39.620 So you're going to share a different experience

01:19:41.140 with your son or your daughter.

01:19:42.720 So those are cool gifts, man.

01:19:47.340 But yeah, man, it's a great time to be alive.

01:19:49.280 This is it.

01:19:49.980 This is our life.

01:19:52.240 This is our life.

01:19:54.060 And if it's not going great, it could be going better.

01:19:59.260 You know, but we have to be willing to make some adjustments.

01:20:03.160 And sometimes I am, and sometimes I'm not, man.

01:20:06.060 But, you know, God bless you to the young man

01:20:08.600 whose father passed away.

01:20:10.500 Gang, gang to the gentleman who's still going on.

01:20:12.660 He's got 11 days today on no cigarettes.

01:20:15.980 Yeah, sometimes you got to get in the lake and swim.

01:20:18.820 We'll see that single mom in Columbus.

01:20:20.340 I think we'll be able to work that out

01:20:21.740 and clip off that wiener meat, bro.

01:20:25.420 Dude, ain't nobody, you know.

01:20:26.820 And you get more pink eye too like that, I heard.

01:20:29.340 And you know I'm against that right now

01:20:30.760 because I'm fucking low-key been rocking that shit.

01:20:33.640 But gang, gang, man, you guys be good to yourselves.

01:20:37.540 I hope that you deserve it.

01:20:41.560 I bet you do.

01:20:42.180 I bet you do.

01:20:56.240 Celebrate living.

01:20:59.680 Celebrate misery.

01:21:03.640 You know that soon we're gonna die

01:21:07.880 Let's have some fun while we all die

01:21:15.120 Celebrate dark days

01:21:19.780 Celebrate all your pain

01:21:23.400 All of your demons exercised

01:21:29.140 Let's have some fun while we all die

01:21:36.000 Let's have some fun while we all die

01:21:36.140 Ladies and gentlemen, I'm Jonathan Kite

01:22:00.560 And welcome to Kite Club

01:22:01.880 A podcast where I'll be sharing thoughts

01:22:04.120 On things like current events

01:22:05.540 Stand-up stories

01:22:06.760 And seven ways to pleasure your partner

01:22:09.080 The answer may shock you

01:22:10.980 Sometimes I'll interview my friends

01:22:13.000 Sometimes I won't

01:22:14.320 And as always, I'll be joined by the voices in my head

01:22:17.820 You have three new voice messages

01:22:20.700 A lot of people are talking about Kite Club

01:22:23.700 I've been talking about Kite Club for so long

01:22:26.500 Longer than anybody else

01:22:28.140 So great

01:22:28.940 Hi, sweet

01:22:30.500 Here's a deal

01:22:31.980 Anyone who doesn't listen to Kite Club

01:22:34.420 Is a dodgy bloody wanker

01:22:36.480 Jermaine

01:22:37.180 I'll take a quarter pounder with cheese

01:22:40.480 And a McFlurry

01:22:41.500 Sorry sir, but our ice cream machine is broken

01:22:43.340 I think Tom Hanks just butt dialed me

01:22:48.300 Anyway, first rule of Kite Club is

01:22:50.720 Tell everyone about Kite Club

01:22:52.420 Second rule of Kite Club is

01:22:54.360 Tell everyone about Kite Club

01:22:56.620 Third rule

01:22:57.400 Like and subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts

01:23:00.260 Or watch us on YouTube, yeah?

01:23:02.640 And yes, don't worry

01:23:03.680 My Brad Pitt impression will get better

This Past Weekend with Theo Von - February 04, 2019

Looking for Keys in My Subconscious ｜ This Past Weekend #171

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