This Past Weekend with Theo Von - Neal Brennan

00:00:00.080 Today's guest is a young man who is a co-creator of the Dave Chappelle show.

00:00:05.720 He has a Netflix special called Three Mikes and another half-hour special on Netflix on Comedians of the World.

00:00:13.880 He also has a podcast called How Neil Feels.

00:00:18.560 And we're going to get into all of it today.

00:00:21.560 He's a friend of mine from the Comedy Store as well.

00:00:24.300 Give it up for the hilarious Mr. Neil Brennan.

00:00:30.000 Shine that light on me I'll sit and tell you my stories

00:00:38.220 Shine that light on me I'll sit and tell you my stories

00:00:48.560 I should come on stage, huh?

00:00:51.020 Really?

00:00:51.660 Yeah, because, well, I just put it in my mouth.

00:00:53.940 People do get mad.

00:00:55.000 People, I remember when I first started podcasting, people would say,

00:00:59.700 Hey, man, can you, your breathing pattern, I remember.

00:01:04.320 People needed, they wanted a real specific way.

00:01:07.620 Like, nah, man, this is not going to work for me.

00:01:10.020 If you're going to breathe like this.

00:01:11.280 Yeah, the iambic pentameter of your breath is really,

00:01:14.240 can you breathe with a little more treble, some guy wrote.

00:01:17.780 Yeah, this is not going to, I've been listening to your breathing and I refuse.

00:01:21.980 I can't, I can't go on like this.

00:01:24.420 If you're going to breathe.

00:01:25.780 Yeah, people get real, they just need it.

00:01:28.360 Breathe one more time like that and catch.

00:01:30.720 Fuck this guy.

00:01:32.180 Fucking change the station.

00:01:33.360 But then I get worried that some kid is getting abused or beaten afterwards

00:01:37.460 because of like some dad.

00:01:38.540 Because of something you did?

00:01:39.720 Well, some dad can't stand the breathing pattern.

00:01:41.620 It sends him into a loop, you know.

00:01:43.760 That's where some of my fears go.

00:01:45.380 Yeah, sure.

00:01:46.660 You don't do the headphones?

00:01:48.600 Oh, yeah.

00:01:49.100 I do them sometimes.

00:01:50.580 Well, I mean, we don't have to.

00:01:52.980 I'm happy to turn them off.

00:01:54.020 I don't know.

00:01:54.400 Okay, well, so feel this vibe with the headphones

00:01:56.820 and see how you feel with it off.

00:01:58.100 Sometimes for me, it's just like a feeling kind of thing.

00:02:00.300 Oh, I like it better.

00:02:01.420 Cool.

00:02:02.180 Locks you in?

00:02:03.680 Just sonically, it's more pleasing.

00:02:06.580 That is true.

00:02:07.200 I like the sonics.

00:02:08.360 It's just better.

00:02:09.220 Like, there you are.

00:02:10.220 Yeah, I feel like I'm in a Tesla a little now.

00:02:11.920 Yep.

00:02:12.720 Yeah.

00:02:13.800 That's where I like to be.

00:02:15.220 You got the Tesla, man.

00:02:16.200 I did.

00:02:17.500 I wanted to get the cheap one, but they didn't have any.

00:02:20.600 And I got the, so I leased the expensive one.

00:02:23.980 And what is the price on that?

00:02:25.220 I've seen you in it, man.

00:02:26.420 And when you guys show up in the Teslas at first,

00:02:28.240 I'm like, oh, fuck, these guys are, you know,

00:02:30.520 fuck these Jetsons, you know.

00:02:32.160 Right.

00:02:32.800 But now I'm starting,

00:02:34.180 I'm honestly starting to get a little bit curious.

00:02:36.640 I like gasoline.

00:02:37.560 I like the chance to fuck it.

00:02:38.560 You think you'd, have you been in Joe's?

00:02:40.720 No.

00:02:41.220 Dude, they are so fast.

00:02:44.240 It's, it made me laugh out loud.

00:02:47.000 And I don't care about speed.

00:02:48.480 I don't care about, I just don't.

00:02:49.980 But I got in the car, I test drove it,

00:02:53.500 and I laughed out loud.

00:02:55.440 And I was like, all right, I have to get this

00:02:57.180 because nothing makes me laugh.

00:02:58.820 Wow.

00:02:59.680 Like, I got it because it made me laugh.

00:03:01.060 But if you ride in it once, you'll be like,

00:03:03.840 okay, I'll get one of these.

00:03:04.700 And what is it?

00:03:05.680 Does it feel like,

00:03:06.860 does it feel like you're on a conveyor belt?

00:03:08.760 That's what I imagined it would be like.

00:03:10.860 No, it just feels like you're in.

00:03:14.080 Like FedEx or something?

00:03:15.520 Does it feel like you're being FedExed somewhere?

00:03:18.080 I can't.

00:03:18.880 It's so fast.

00:03:19.840 You know when you're like on a roller coaster

00:03:21.260 and it first starts?

00:03:22.760 Yeah.

00:03:23.140 It's like that.

00:03:24.960 Whenever you want it to be.

00:03:26.780 Okay.

00:03:27.080 So the fun thing is if you cut people off,

00:03:29.980 but, you know, just in traffic

00:03:31.400 and not like your intention,

00:03:32.820 but you just cut them off

00:03:34.300 and then you hit the gas,

00:03:36.740 it's like, oh, sorry,

00:03:39.480 I'm not going to be a problem.

00:03:40.800 Like you thought you were mad

00:03:42.280 and before they even get mad, you're gone.

00:03:44.280 That I love.

00:03:46.000 Wow.

00:03:46.220 So people don't even have time to get mad.

00:03:47.500 No, you don't even get,

00:03:48.700 people can't even get mad.

00:03:49.800 That's what's most gratifying for me.

00:03:52.320 And in some rural areas,

00:03:53.760 I bet you cut somebody off on a Tesla,

00:03:55.100 they're just taking pictures.

00:03:56.040 They're like, holy shit.

00:03:56.500 Yeah, man, they're just fucking excited.

00:03:57.600 What was that?

00:03:58.120 Yeah.

00:03:58.400 What the fuck?

00:03:59.220 Hello, police?

00:04:01.680 Yeah.

00:04:03.420 Yeah, I got to report something.

00:04:04.960 I don't even know what the fuck it was,

00:04:06.360 but I'm reporting it.

00:04:07.380 You guys should know about this thing.

00:04:08.980 I think it's an undercover cop.

00:04:10.760 There's something.

00:04:11.620 The fucking future man's here.

00:04:13.160 So now what else is possible in there?

00:04:15.160 Like, do they,

00:04:16.200 how accurate is the real,

00:04:17.620 you can drive home without having to touch this.

00:04:20.680 Okay.

00:04:21.780 On the freeway,

00:04:23.800 you can hit the thing.

00:04:25.080 It will stay in the lane.

00:04:27.120 And it will not,

00:04:29.040 it'll keep whatever number of cars you tell behind.

00:04:35.520 Like if it's,

00:04:36.200 stay one car's distance,

00:04:37.680 that's what it'll get to with whoever's in front of you.

00:04:40.600 Or if there's no one in front of you,

00:04:42.000 you set a limit,

00:04:43.340 85,

00:04:43.880 90,

00:04:44.400 70.

00:04:46.340 That's great.

00:04:47.240 But the problem is,

00:04:49.600 you can,

00:04:50.540 you have to like check in every 40 seconds.

00:04:53.580 Okay.

00:04:54.020 You have to like jiggle the steering wheel every 40 seconds.

00:04:56.480 So what happens?

00:04:57.360 It shuts down?

00:04:58.380 Yeah.

00:04:58.680 It'll beep and then it'll go.

00:05:00.380 You're it.

00:05:01.040 What's funny is it kicks you off autopilot.

00:05:03.340 Like,

00:05:03.580 no,

00:05:03.760 you're,

00:05:04.420 you've lost your privileges.

00:05:05.740 And what?

00:05:05.960 You just wake up back at home.

00:05:08.180 No,

00:05:08.560 then you have to draw you for that drive.

00:05:11.640 You can no longer do autopilot.

00:05:13.620 Like,

00:05:14.060 no,

00:05:14.260 you can't handle it.

00:05:15.280 Wow.

00:05:15.660 So you're fucking kicked off autopilot.

00:05:17.580 Yeah.

00:05:18.280 So,

00:05:18.620 and then,

00:05:19.000 so then you have to,

00:05:20.200 if you want autopilot,

00:05:21.380 like it's happened to me where I got kicked off autopilot.

00:05:24.300 Yeah.

00:05:24.680 So then I had to stop,

00:05:26.780 go to the store and like start over.

00:05:29.900 And ask for it.

00:05:30.600 Yeah.

00:05:31.580 Like baby,

00:05:32.900 I know I'm fucked up,

00:05:34.260 but if you could see to it,

00:05:36.580 to where I could do the autopilot.

00:05:39.060 Yeah.

00:05:39.560 You have to start over.

00:05:40.940 Maybe I'm big.

00:05:41.960 Maybe I'm big.

00:05:43.040 Yeah.

00:05:43.220 I'm big.

00:05:43.560 Maybe.

00:05:44.220 Who was that?

00:05:44.940 I remember that song.

00:05:45.420 Yeah.

00:05:45.720 I don't,

00:05:46.200 that's like,

00:05:46.600 it feels like light skin arm.

00:05:48.260 Yeah.

00:05:48.540 It is.

00:05:49.840 Yep.

00:05:51.980 Yeah.

00:05:52.380 Wow.

00:05:52.740 Cause I think about it.

00:05:53.860 Cause I,

00:05:54.540 cause you in a regular car,

00:05:55.940 man,

00:05:56.220 like I got a Jeep grand Cherokee,

00:05:57.540 you can just doze off for a second,

00:05:59.020 but you have to wake back up.

00:06:00.300 Yeah.

00:06:01.020 Yeah.

00:06:01.600 This,

00:06:02.080 and they won't kick you off.

00:06:02.980 You can repeatedly do that.

00:06:04.080 Oh,

00:06:04.180 you can do that shit all the way down to San Diego,

00:06:06.040 bro.

00:06:06.340 If you're driving in the middle of the night,

00:06:07.720 dude,

00:06:08.160 bro,

00:06:08.300 I'll fucking take about 20 seconds.

00:06:10.100 I'll set my timer on my phone for about 20 seconds and totally shut down.

00:06:13.680 Yeah,

00:06:14.180 sure.

00:06:14.560 Of course.

00:06:15.120 And it's totally safe.

00:06:17.000 Yeah.

00:06:17.240 I mean,

00:06:17.520 it's,

00:06:17.720 you have to get up at the,

00:06:18.780 you can't hit snooze.

00:06:19.760 You hit fucking snooze twice.

00:06:21.280 Yeah.

00:06:21.440 You're going to fucking,

00:06:22.300 yeah,

00:06:22.600 you're going to wake up in a seven 11,

00:06:24.660 man.

00:06:24.920 This shit gets real risky out there.

00:06:26.620 Um,

00:06:27.640 wow.

00:06:28.160 So you're in now.

00:06:29.180 Did you,

00:06:29.880 does it make you feel less like a man,

00:06:32.800 like less manly to not have gas?

00:06:35.360 Yeah.

00:06:36.040 No.

00:06:36.460 Cause if you,

00:06:37.380 if you hit the gas once,

00:06:39.440 yeah,

00:06:39.840 if you hit the acceleration once,

00:06:41.780 you've never felt like more of a man in your life.

00:06:44.220 No way.

00:06:45.280 I'm Joe Rogan has one.

00:06:47.840 I know.

00:06:48.300 And at first when he biggest man,

00:06:49.960 any of us have ever met,

00:06:51.180 he's the greatest man top to bottom values,

00:06:56.100 wise,

00:06:56.680 physicality,

00:06:58.440 ideology.

00:07:00.120 Fucking this guy does UFC.

00:07:04.040 He fucks with aliens.

00:07:05.540 DMT.

00:07:06.040 He does all the acronyms.

00:07:08.420 HIV.

00:07:09.220 He does it all.

00:07:10.200 He does all the acronyms and he does it all.

00:07:13.260 ELK.

00:07:14.280 ELK.

00:07:15.140 Fucking he does them all.

00:07:16.760 So,

00:07:17.040 so,

00:07:17.500 uh,

00:07:18.280 that's funny.

00:07:19.620 Uh,

00:07:20.120 so he does all of them.

00:07:21.720 So he,

00:07:22.620 and he's got one.

00:07:23.440 So if it's good enough for Joe,

00:07:24.360 I don't see.

00:07:25.580 But when you go back in a regular car,

00:07:27.700 does he feel like you're going back in the past?

00:07:29.180 It feels like a failure.

00:07:30.740 It really feels like you failed.

00:07:33.660 Like,

00:07:34.140 man,

00:07:34.560 this is fucking bullshit.

00:07:36.680 And honestly,

00:07:37.440 I can't,

00:07:38.620 I mean,

00:07:39.040 backing up doesn't feel right.

00:07:41.060 It just,

00:07:41.500 none of it works.

00:07:42.160 Once you've,

00:07:42.620 once you've gone to a Tesla,

00:07:44.140 it's like going to a flip phone.

00:07:45.760 Dude,

00:07:46.120 it reminds me,

00:07:46.740 that's what I'm saying.

00:07:47.160 It reminds me for you,

00:07:48.140 for,

00:07:48.380 I was like probably about a three year holdout on a cell phone.

00:07:51.320 I was like,

00:07:51.700 oh,

00:07:51.860 this shit ain't take.

00:07:52.600 Really?

00:07:53.100 Yeah.

00:07:53.440 You didn't,

00:07:53.920 you was like,

00:07:54.740 this is not going to happen.

00:07:55.500 I was like,

00:07:55.760 this is insane.

00:07:56.900 Yeah.

00:07:57.260 What are you doing?

00:07:57.480 Why?

00:07:57.760 You didn't like that you were always available?

00:08:00.300 I think I'm a traditionalist.

00:08:02.020 You're an analog guy.

00:08:03.300 Yeah,

00:08:03.660 I am.

00:08:04.220 I think my brain runs a little bit more analog and I'm just a little bit more.

00:08:08.800 I need that.

00:08:09.800 I just,

00:08:10.340 yeah,

00:08:10.500 I just wasn't ready for it.

00:08:11.480 I said,

00:08:11.720 man,

00:08:11.940 this shit is insane.

00:08:13.460 You know,

00:08:14.160 nobody's going to believe it.

00:08:15.140 Say if you tell somebody something into a phone and they hear it,

00:08:17.520 but is it as true as if you tell somebody something in person?

00:08:20.340 Yeah.

00:08:20.480 You know,

00:08:20.620 I had thoughts like that.

00:08:21.460 Like,

00:08:21.580 is there the same value on the,

00:08:23.020 on the,

00:08:24.460 whatever the voice or whatever?

00:08:26.220 Like,

00:08:26.460 does it mean anything?

00:08:27.380 I think you're kidding a little bit and I also think you're not kidding at all.

00:08:30.660 Yeah.

00:08:31.060 Like,

00:08:31.380 I think there's,

00:08:31.980 you know,

00:08:32.320 there's a thing called epigenetics,

00:08:34.280 which is,

00:08:34.780 uh,

00:08:35.980 uh,

00:08:36.340 parents DNA is in you.

00:08:40.460 I believe that.

00:08:41.420 Like,

00:08:41.620 it's basically like your parents can experience something and then you have the react,

00:08:46.800 the trauma.

00:08:48.080 Right.

00:08:48.740 But you got some 1800 shit in you.

00:08:51.700 Yeah.

00:08:52.520 I believe that.

00:08:53.100 When was your father born?

00:08:54.760 No,

00:08:55.140 1910.

00:08:56.220 God damn.

00:08:57.300 That's insane.

00:08:58.660 So yeah,

00:08:59.020 I think my grandfather was born in 1880.

00:09:00.640 So I believe I do have some of that.

00:09:02.200 Yeah.

00:09:02.800 I probably have some fucking,

00:09:04.960 yeah.

00:09:05.280 I mean,

00:09:05.420 my dad had a horse,

00:09:06.500 his boy,

00:09:06.960 you know,

00:09:07.280 his neighbor had a horse.

00:09:08.200 I remember,

00:09:08.840 and they had a horse for a little while that they let him watch it.

00:09:11.660 Yeah.

00:09:12.120 Um,

00:09:12.900 but yeah,

00:09:13.860 I,

00:09:14.080 I thought the value,

00:09:15.260 no,

00:09:15.440 I remember thinking the value of community,

00:09:17.200 of communication is going to really,

00:09:19.120 it does.

00:09:21.720 It just degrade.

00:09:22.780 Yeah.

00:09:22.960 It got degraded.

00:09:24.060 And you,

00:09:24.660 I mean,

00:09:24.920 you were right.

00:09:26.220 You're right.

00:09:27.060 It's too much.

00:09:28.260 Yeah.

00:09:28.600 It's too much.

00:09:29.820 But when I got one,

00:09:31.540 I remember thinking,

00:09:32.620 holy shit,

00:09:33.800 dude,

00:09:34.620 there's nothing I can't do.

00:09:35.820 Yeah.

00:09:36.120 Yeah.

00:09:36.320 Yeah.

00:09:37.700 I will write my,

00:09:38.720 write your own ticket,

00:09:41.780 man.

00:09:42.060 Yeah.

00:09:42.740 Fucking.

00:09:43.600 Oh,

00:09:43.680 I was like,

00:09:44.100 world is yours.

00:09:44.920 Yeah.

00:09:45.360 That's what it felt like.

00:09:46.820 Yeah.

00:09:47.180 You're,

00:09:47.580 and you're also,

00:09:48.440 that's also true.

00:09:49.560 Yeah.

00:09:49.860 Like it's fucking,

00:09:51.100 it's a big deal.

00:09:52.220 It's first cell phone is a big deal.

00:09:53.680 They just re-released the razor phone.

00:09:55.780 Yeah.

00:09:56.080 I saw that.

00:09:56.700 And it was like,

00:09:57.560 I thought about that time and 99,

00:10:02.700 1998,

00:10:03.540 99 having a cell phone.

00:10:04.880 It was a thing.

00:10:06.020 Was yours a razor?

00:10:06.860 Would you have,

00:10:07.240 I think I had a razor at one point.

00:10:08.640 I had the black razor.

00:10:09.820 Do you get that T-Mobile sidekick ever?

00:10:11.360 Oh yeah.

00:10:12.280 Oh yeah.

00:10:12.960 Absolutely.

00:10:13.360 Not long though.

00:10:14.260 Cause they didn't really,

00:10:15.260 they came and then they would,

00:10:17.800 then they went away.

00:10:18.660 Yeah.

00:10:20.140 Uh,

00:10:20.580 but yeah,

00:10:21.020 it was a big,

00:10:21.680 yeah.

00:10:21.840 Getting emails on a phone was great.

00:10:24.060 That was a sidekick was the first one.

00:10:26.500 Sidekick,

00:10:26.980 you'd flip up.

00:10:28.440 And it made you seem cool.

00:10:29.780 Cause you get people heard that noise.

00:10:31.080 Yeah.

00:10:31.240 What is that guy?

00:10:31.820 What the fuck?

00:10:32.760 Yeah.

00:10:33.020 People dropping drinks and shit as you slow motion.

00:10:37.680 Uh,

00:10:38.240 so,

00:10:38.900 so yeah,

00:10:39.520 it was a big deal,

00:10:40.180 but you are an analog guy.

00:10:42.160 Yeah.

00:10:42.620 Do you feel like that is,

00:10:45.260 your problem?

00:10:47.620 I know that's like a big,

00:10:49.480 but you feel like you're,

00:10:51.560 you are uncomfortable in a lot.

00:10:56.420 It's like you seem at ill.

00:10:59.460 It,

00:10:59.640 you seem at ease.

00:11:00.920 And then at the same time you feel like you don't understand what's going on.

00:11:06.420 Some,

00:11:06.960 I just thought of this recently,

00:11:07.960 man.

00:11:08.180 I,

00:11:08.360 sometimes I have a,

00:11:09.320 I'm upset that time moves so fast.

00:11:11.580 It's like,

00:11:11.940 I just,

00:11:12.500 I just feel like I can't ever win.

00:11:15.320 I just can't ever really get a grasp of what's going on and it keeps happening,

00:11:18.720 you know?

00:11:19.220 And it really does.

00:11:20.100 I think sometimes frustrate me a little bit.

00:11:22.080 What is the,

00:11:22.900 what,

00:11:23.180 what do you want to get a grasp on?

00:11:25.280 I think just to feel like I'm kind of in control that everything that I'm going to be able to control,

00:11:31.120 like I guess that I'm in control,

00:11:33.240 you know,

00:11:33.540 that I'm okay.

00:11:34.500 You know,

00:11:35.280 okay.

00:11:35.600 I got the hang of what's going on now.

00:11:37.500 Yeah.

00:11:37.980 Without things changing so much.

00:11:40.040 And is that within relationships or that's within everything?

00:11:43.560 I think that's just within existence really.

00:11:46.080 Yeah.

00:11:46.380 So I think,

00:11:47.000 yeah,

00:11:47.120 I just,

00:11:47.600 I was just thinking about that the other day.

00:11:48.980 I just sometimes feel,

00:11:50.280 uh,

00:11:51.580 you know,

00:11:52.080 not like it's a bad thing,

00:11:53.080 but like I just realized,

00:11:53.920 Oh wow,

00:11:54.300 I have this,

00:11:54.920 this irrational idea that like almost a resentment against time.

00:12:01.140 Because I can't get a,

00:12:04.520 I can't,

00:12:04.960 it won't let me grasp everything at once.

00:12:06.980 You know,

00:12:07.300 it won't let me,

00:12:08.480 you can't organize everything as well as you need to,

00:12:10.860 because it just keeps happening.

00:12:12.220 It keeps going.

00:12:13.040 And,

00:12:13.160 and also then I think because I'm probably lazy sometimes.

00:12:15.760 And so it's like,

00:12:16.900 damn,

00:12:17.240 give me a chance,

00:12:18.120 bro.

00:12:18.220 I don't think you're lazy.

00:12:19.340 Time.

00:12:19.840 I don't,

00:12:20.200 I don't know your schedule,

00:12:21.880 but you seem pretty active.

00:12:24.220 Yeah.

00:12:24.980 Am I wrong?

00:12:26.080 Uh,

00:12:26.500 I think I,

00:12:27.340 I think I procrastinate.

00:12:28.860 I think sometimes,

00:12:29.600 you know what I thought?

00:12:30.180 The other day,

00:12:30.700 man,

00:12:30.960 I put,

00:12:31.820 I set this weird bar in my mind that everything needs to be perfect or I,

00:12:35.420 everything needs to be perfect.

00:12:37.280 But then I also know this thing about myself that I procrastinate sometimes.

00:12:42.760 And so I will set both.

00:12:44.700 It's like,

00:12:45.120 I will set the bar high.

00:12:46.960 Oh yeah.

00:12:47.620 You know,

00:12:48.000 then that's one of the reasons people procrastinate is fear of perfection or not fear of perfection.

00:12:54.280 They're perfectionists.

00:12:55.380 So you're like,

00:12:56.520 well,

00:12:56.620 I can't start now because I'll get to,

00:13:00.980 uh,

00:13:01.420 it's not right yet.

00:13:02.700 Like,

00:13:03.180 I don't have it set up.

00:13:04.960 Oh yeah.

00:13:05.640 I'm going to fail.

00:13:06.520 You're going to fail.

00:13:07.360 A lot of procrastination is just fear of failure.

00:13:09.760 Yeah.

00:13:10.260 Is,

00:13:10.580 is feeling like you can't.

00:13:12.700 And then you'll start when you go,

00:13:14.560 well,

00:13:14.920 if I don't,

00:13:15.640 I'm fucked if I don't start now.

00:13:17.520 So that's the only,

00:13:18.600 like the fear of,

00:13:19.860 of being fucked is greater than the,

00:13:22.680 uh,

00:13:23.500 fear of being imperfect.

00:13:25.060 And then once you get to that point and you go,

00:13:26.900 okay,

00:13:27.120 then I'll start.

00:13:27.700 Or like you have to start.

00:13:29.240 Yeah.

00:13:29.440 I'm that last minute starter a lot of times,

00:13:31.240 but things are working out for you,

00:13:33.280 man.

00:13:33.680 Yeah.

00:13:34.000 Things are going okay,

00:13:34.780 man.

00:13:35.020 It's crazy.

00:13:35.420 This year I got in so much fear,

00:13:36.620 man.

00:13:36.820 I just got,

00:13:37.940 you know,

00:13:39.280 it's just,

00:13:39.680 and I'm not trying to sound like ungrateful or just,

00:13:42.340 yeah,

00:13:42.500 this year was just fucking crazy,

00:13:43.860 bro.

00:13:44.000 It was crazy.

00:13:44.260 It was just a crazy year.

00:13:45.100 It was busy and it was hard and it was,

00:13:47.320 what did you find hard about it?

00:13:48.540 Cause I think people from the outside in people would assume it was,

00:13:54.460 it's been great for you.

00:13:56.260 It's so people would think it's probably the best year of your life.

00:13:58.340 Right.

00:13:59.200 Yeah.

00:13:59.600 And,

00:13:59.820 and I think I just couldn't feel it.

00:14:01.620 I just couldn't,

00:14:02.600 I just think I just got real scared,

00:14:04.620 man.

00:14:04.980 I got real scared,

00:14:06.320 bro.

00:14:06.480 But what,

00:14:06.960 what up?

00:14:07.740 Just like of that things we're gonna,

00:14:09.500 I think for one of not maybe knowing who I was as things got more successful,

00:14:15.360 you know,

00:14:16.460 like I'd always been this,

00:14:17.660 like I'd always felt like I didn't have a chance a little bit and I'd always

00:14:21.840 really like,

00:14:23.280 um,

00:14:23.660 that had always been something that had really like carried me.

00:14:25.900 Oh yeah.

00:14:26.440 You were like an underdog.

00:14:27.880 Yeah.

00:14:28.320 Like an underdog.

00:14:29.180 Like underdog who wouldn't get,

00:14:31.020 you were getting fucked and you were later not helping me and yeah,

00:14:34.780 motherfuckers.

00:14:35.360 Yeah.

00:14:35.760 And then you,

00:14:36.260 and you're like,

00:14:36.680 Oh wait,

00:14:37.380 they,

00:14:38.200 you're not,

00:14:39.020 I mean,

00:14:39.340 you are still,

00:14:40.680 but that's part of your appeal.

00:14:43.660 Yeah.

00:14:44.000 And I just didn't know.

00:14:44.980 Yeah.

00:14:45.440 Yeah.

00:14:45.680 I just,

00:14:46.040 but then I felt like I didn't know how to be,

00:14:48.000 I don't know.

00:14:50.120 I felt like I didn't know how to be successful.

00:14:51.580 And then I got scared.

00:14:52.500 I started to get real scared.

00:14:54.140 Uh,

00:14:54.540 and I got real like controlling even this year,

00:14:56.680 like everything just,

00:14:57.700 I wanted everything to be,

00:14:59.640 I needed help and I was afraid to ask for help.

00:15:02.320 And so then everything felt like it was on me.

00:15:04.260 And what'd you need help with just with the,

00:15:07.140 just with like touring and doing that kind of stuff and being willing to

00:15:10.220 like just trust that other people know what's good.

00:15:12.880 And I don't know.

00:15:14.280 I think I just had like a lot of just like,

00:15:15.880 I mean,

00:15:16.240 for me,

00:15:16.540 a lot of it goes back to like my alcoholism stuff.

00:15:18.360 It's just a lot of that stuff just flared up.

00:15:19.900 Like just fear just came up everywhere.

00:15:22.880 Yeah.

00:15:23.280 It just came up everywhere,

00:15:24.120 man.

00:15:24.280 I was just,

00:15:24.740 I don't know,

00:15:25.880 man.

00:15:26.060 I just got kind of scared and it's not like a self pity thing.

00:15:28.000 I'm not feeling sorry for myself.

00:15:29.500 Like,

00:15:29.820 and also I couldn't feel gratitude.

00:15:31.960 I really needed to feel grateful.

00:15:33.980 And I was,

00:15:34.560 and I felt so grateful for,

00:15:36.220 for the past couple of years,

00:15:39.500 man.

00:15:39.740 And then I,

00:15:40.260 I just,

00:15:41.400 I just had a tough time,

00:15:43.120 man.

00:15:43.340 And I just got real scared.

00:15:44.720 Honestly,

00:15:45.120 bro.

00:15:45.260 I got real,

00:15:45.680 what were you,

00:15:46.260 what were you,

00:15:46.960 you were afraid that it was all going to go away or something?

00:15:49.480 Yeah.

00:15:49.660 I was afraid that I was just going to mess it up.

00:15:51.800 Yeah.

00:15:52.120 You know,

00:15:52.680 I was afraid that,

00:15:54.820 uh,

00:15:56.140 you know,

00:15:57.020 that I was a phony.

00:15:57.980 I was afraid that I was like a liar.

00:15:59.380 Just,

00:15:59.840 I was afraid that I was no good.

00:16:01.240 Just a lot of just self worth just didn't,

00:16:03.760 it just was hard,

00:16:04.640 you know,

00:16:05.120 not in a bad way.

00:16:06.000 I think the only thing that you would fuck up is if you weren't yourself.

00:16:09.760 Yeah.

00:16:10.160 I think that's the only,

00:16:12.620 that's the only people like you because you are,

00:16:17.000 you're unique.

00:16:18.120 like just watching him known you probably eight years or something,

00:16:21.500 but just watching you,

00:16:23.180 uh,

00:16:24.980 it's been cool watching you go from,

00:16:28.320 I got to say your haircut from the outside in was a turning point.

00:16:35.060 Seemingly.

00:16:35.840 Yeah.

00:16:36.780 Cause you,

00:16:37.620 you were just like trying to be kind of like LA or appealing or something or

00:16:44.560 something.

00:16:45.080 I don't know what you were trying to be.

00:16:46.100 You're just like a,

00:16:46.880 like just more like everybody else.

00:16:49.460 Yeah.

00:16:49.940 And then you got,

00:16:50.980 then you started doing this with your hair and it felt like everything fell into

00:16:57.180 place.

00:16:58.060 Yeah.

00:16:58.540 Like,

00:16:59.040 I felt more like myself.

00:17:00.220 Yeah.

00:17:00.400 Like if you felt like more like yourself and you,

00:17:03.300 you like,

00:17:03.800 you started being more yourself on stage and being weirder on stage and being

00:17:09.140 more regional or Southern than you'd been before.

00:17:13.580 Yeah.

00:17:14.100 And,

00:17:14.660 and,

00:17:15.080 and then,

00:17:16.140 and then you start a podcast.

00:17:17.980 It just felt like all these things started happening in sequence and from the

00:17:22.580 outside in and just a guy who sees you at night,

00:17:25.500 it seemed like once you had that hair,

00:17:28.520 it was like,

00:17:29.440 it was empowering.

00:17:30.320 Am I wrong?

00:17:31.840 No,

00:17:32.060 it felt very empowering,

00:17:33.020 man.

00:17:33.580 I think all my life too,

00:17:34.840 I've had a big nose.

00:17:35.640 I've always been scared to have like,

00:17:37.080 like real short hair.

00:17:38.740 Cause there's less things to hide behind.

00:17:40.540 You know,

00:17:41.160 you're here's the thing about you that I've always said about you that you,

00:17:43.460 you're good looking and you don't think you are.

00:17:46.520 Yeah.

00:17:47.140 You are good looking.

00:17:48.560 Like I bet if they asked most,

00:17:50.460 I bet most women would say you're like an eight.

00:17:53.300 Yeah.

00:17:53.660 I say that if I brush my teeth,

00:17:54.960 I am an eight,

00:17:55.660 but I believe everybody's an eight.

00:17:57.160 If they take care of it,

00:17:58.020 they clean up and they take care of themselves.

00:17:59.500 I believe that.

00:18:00.900 Okay.

00:18:01.460 I don't agree.

00:18:02.420 Okay.

00:18:05.020 I,

00:18:05.500 I respectfully disagree with that.

00:18:08.080 Um,

00:18:08.580 but you're,

00:18:09.580 you're definitely an eight cause you're like kind of tangy.

00:18:12.300 You got olive skin,

00:18:13.140 you got night,

00:18:13.680 you know,

00:18:13.980 like you're symmetrical.

00:18:15.680 Uh,

00:18:16.080 the big nose thing.

00:18:17.060 I don't think it's true.

00:18:17.940 I mean,

00:18:18.220 it's fine.

00:18:18.900 I have a big nose,

00:18:19.860 but like mine's bigger.

00:18:21.060 Yours.

00:18:21.600 I'd love that lean.

00:18:22.760 Yeah.

00:18:22.860 I got that mine.

00:18:23.580 I got that Pippen nose,

00:18:25.480 man.

00:18:25.540 I love that fucking Lee.

00:18:27.080 Yeah.

00:18:27.240 You got that.

00:18:27.980 Yeah.

00:18:28.180 That's Scotty Pippen.

00:18:31.520 Um,

00:18:32.420 you got like meat.

00:18:33.740 So yeah,

00:18:34.440 that thing is fucking like a thought,

00:18:36.340 bro.

00:18:36.480 I feel like it should be in a thong sometimes.

00:18:39.940 You got that donk on your face,

00:18:42.100 man.

00:18:44.080 So anyway,

00:18:45.020 growing my hair longer once I was like,

00:18:47.680 yeah.

00:18:48.040 And I think for years I'd try to audition in Hollywood and been like,

00:18:51.180 I just,

00:18:51.780 I hated it.

00:18:52.680 I fucking hated going to auditions.

00:18:54.380 Yeah.

00:18:54.600 I absolutely hated it.

00:18:56.080 I felt uncomfortable.

00:18:58.200 I just was scared.

00:18:59.760 Uh,

00:18:59.920 yeah,

00:19:00.100 I just didn't,

00:19:00.660 I didn't like it.

00:19:01.320 And I didn't want to admit that I didn't like it.

00:19:02.720 I was afraid to say,

00:19:03.380 you know what?

00:19:03.600 I don't like this.

00:19:04.520 I felt like I had to do it.

00:19:06.480 And then,

00:19:07.020 yeah,

00:19:07.160 once I just kind of,

00:19:08.140 I was like,

00:19:08.520 Oh,

00:19:08.680 I'd never,

00:19:09.200 I saw some pictures of myself.

00:19:10.280 I said,

00:19:10.480 I'm never going to have real long hair.

00:19:12.100 You know,

00:19:12.260 I had it when I was really young,

00:19:13.620 right?

00:19:14.060 But I'm never going to have it again unless I grow it now.

00:19:16.340 And then once I grew my hair out,

00:19:17.520 man,

00:19:17.680 I started to feel like a fucking young,

00:19:19.320 like just like a King,

00:19:20.360 bro.

00:19:20.920 Just like somebody who had a fucking,

00:19:22.660 it's like having a dick on the back of your head,

00:19:24.480 bro.

00:19:25.880 Yeah.

00:19:26.300 It feels empowering,

00:19:27.260 dude.

00:19:27.620 It's what it looks like that.

00:19:29.080 Cause it's like,

00:19:29.680 Hey,

00:19:29.780 you know what?

00:19:30.380 I'm going to look how I look.

00:19:32.980 And you can deal with it if you have an issue.

00:19:35.080 This looks the way you probably feel.

00:19:38.960 It looks like your character.

00:19:40.540 Yeah.

00:19:40.900 It looks like what I would assume your character.

00:19:42.960 And it also looks like your,

00:19:45.040 it looks like your character,

00:19:46.840 like your,

00:19:47.320 your values and all that shit.

00:19:49.620 But it also looks like the,

00:19:51.880 not like Theo Vaughn's character,

00:19:53.380 but like the thing that's funny about you is also that.

00:19:59.160 Yeah.

00:19:59.240 It's the guy that wants to,

00:20:01.020 an adult that wants his hair like this in 2019.

00:20:03.760 It's beautiful.

00:20:04.380 Yeah.

00:20:04.700 Is who you are.

00:20:06.320 And that's like it fucking,

00:20:10.240 I don't,

00:20:10.860 I'm glad that I was right about it.

00:20:12.540 Cause I was like,

00:20:12.980 it seems like once he grew his hair like this,

00:20:16.700 everything changed.

00:20:17.920 Yeah.

00:20:18.760 Yeah.

00:20:19.200 I guess I got scared to like say that I wasn't feel,

00:20:23.400 it was hard for me to tell how I was feeling.

00:20:25.420 And,

00:20:25.780 and then I,

00:20:26.700 I was like,

00:20:27.240 nobody wants to hear somebody who's doing well.

00:20:29.740 Complain.

00:20:30.220 Nobody wants to hear him complain.

00:20:31.460 Yeah.

00:20:31.660 And so that kind of got tough for me to like,

00:20:34.880 even on just the regular episodes of this podcast,

00:20:37.320 just by myself to talk about things because I just felt like,

00:20:41.960 man,

00:20:42.160 I just,

00:20:42.840 I don't want to be,

00:20:44.060 I don't want to have self pity,

00:20:45.160 but I don't know what's going on right now.

00:20:46.620 I'm just,

00:20:47.860 you know,

00:20:48.140 I'm just,

00:20:48.620 I was just,

00:20:49.180 I was just scared.

00:20:50.000 You know,

00:20:50.300 I was just scared really when I think about it.

00:20:52.640 And how did it resolve or did it,

00:20:54.600 it's just kind of resolving.

00:20:55.920 I'm just like trying to get more like in a 12 step right now and just really focusing on that.

00:20:59.860 And like,

00:21:00.260 um,

00:21:00.700 were you not doing that?

00:21:02.020 I was,

00:21:02.760 but my,

00:21:03.040 my,

00:21:03.480 that my program had gotten real small whenever I was just working all the time.

00:21:07.040 Yeah.

00:21:07.500 You know,

00:21:07.720 my life got big and my program got small.

00:21:09.760 Yeah.

00:21:10.080 And I think I was angry at being at some success because I thought I would feel better.

00:21:14.460 Yeah.

00:21:14.720 Oh yeah.

00:21:15.100 That's the other thing.

00:21:15.960 When I got there.

00:21:16.540 If you think like,

00:21:17.000 well,

00:21:17.140 if putting,

00:21:19.880 uh,

00:21:21.060 conditions on your happiness.

00:21:23.920 Yeah.

00:21:24.260 Going,

00:21:24.680 well,

00:21:25.720 I'm not happy now.

00:21:26.780 I'm not even going to allow myself to be happy now because I don't deserve it.

00:21:29.760 Yeah.

00:21:30.160 And then you,

00:21:32.400 good shit happens and,

00:21:34.420 and you're like,

00:21:36.140 fuck,

00:21:36.720 this didn't work either.

00:21:38.400 Like what's going to work?

00:21:40.380 The fuck is going to work.

00:21:41.860 And what I've,

00:21:43.100 I will say that,

00:21:45.100 uh,

00:21:46.960 it is gratifying to be the times I've had like,

00:21:50.660 you know,

00:21:51.860 weeks or months of like attention is gratifying.

00:21:55.280 It feels good.

00:21:56.100 Yeah.

00:21:56.380 You know what I mean?

00:21:56.800 It feels gratifying to,

00:21:57.840 it feels shallow to admit it,

00:21:59.840 but it feels good when people,

00:22:01.360 that feels good.

00:22:02.000 Our ego feels good.

00:22:02.880 We feel good.

00:22:03.620 It's nice whenever people acknowledge you.

00:22:05.860 Yeah.

00:22:06.080 Um,

00:22:07.000 and,

00:22:07.600 but at the same time,

00:22:11.360 it,

00:22:11.560 it shitty that you,

00:22:13.620 that you,

00:22:14.680 that we live.

00:22:15.700 I feel like it's partially like American to only be happy if you accomplish X.

00:22:24.280 Yeah.

00:22:24.520 And,

00:22:25.380 and I've been trying to do a thing and it's varying degrees of success,

00:22:29.640 but where I'm like,

00:22:31.160 no,

00:22:31.360 just give yourself that esteem for not for,

00:22:36.820 not for nothing,

00:22:37.620 just for why put it on some,

00:22:41.200 why leave it up to a situation or the way to make you feel good about yourself.

00:22:45.820 Make me feel good.

00:22:46.540 It's like,

00:22:46.780 I can just feel good because life is short.

00:22:50.860 Right.

00:22:51.380 And,

00:22:51.940 and like,

00:22:53.260 I,

00:22:53.560 you know,

00:22:53.940 it's like,

00:22:54.260 I used to beat myself up for not being as funny as blank.

00:22:57.040 And it's like,

00:22:58.400 all right,

00:22:58.920 maybe I'm never going to be as funny as fucking Bill Burr or,

00:23:02.560 or Chris or Dave or when it's like,

00:23:05.260 what?

00:23:06.680 So I'm supposed to fucking sulk my whole life.

00:23:10.380 Like,

00:23:10.520 no,

00:23:10.740 I want to fucking have a fun time with my skill level.

00:23:15.640 And you're funny.

00:23:16.340 It's totally different too.

00:23:17.400 Of course.

00:23:17.760 Yeah,

00:23:17.980 of course.

00:23:18.320 Or like I have different talents or whatever.

00:23:20.220 We don't recognize those things.

00:23:21.260 We just,

00:23:21.720 yeah,

00:23:21.820 we set these things and it's like,

00:23:23.400 uh,

00:23:25.440 yeah.

00:23:25.820 And it's,

00:23:26.240 yeah,

00:23:26.320 we just set these comparisons and it's good for business.

00:23:30.220 It is good for American business.

00:23:32.320 When everyone feels insecure,

00:23:33.760 then everybody feels like they got to work harder and rise and grind.

00:23:36.580 And all that shit.

00:23:37.200 Right.

00:23:37.220 Definitely.

00:23:38.260 But,

00:23:38.600 uh,

00:23:38.960 but if you just get to the point of like,

00:23:41.820 no,

00:23:42.080 I,

00:23:42.340 I'm,

00:23:42.880 I want to have a fun,

00:23:44.080 I want to feel good.

00:23:45.080 Yeah.

00:23:45.660 Like I meditate.

00:23:46.620 And then the last two minutes,

00:23:48.220 I just go like,

00:23:49.780 just feel good in your body for no reason.

00:23:52.500 Yeah.

00:23:52.940 Just,

00:23:53.620 just feel good.

00:23:54.380 Your job on in on earth is to feel good.

00:23:58.080 That's my job to make myself,

00:24:00.240 to have as much serotonin flowing through my body as I possibly.

00:24:04.480 That tone and jockey.

00:24:05.440 That tone.

00:24:06.240 Yeah.

00:24:06.580 Like,

00:24:06.880 and,

00:24:07.220 and without,

00:24:08.160 without drugs or drink,

00:24:09.980 whatever,

00:24:10.440 just getting things going,

00:24:12.780 feeling that is the,

00:24:14.420 that to me is the mark of a life.

00:24:16.700 Well lived.

00:24:17.340 Yeah.

00:24:17.960 How good did I feel?

00:24:20.340 Minute to minute.

00:24:21.260 Amen,

00:24:21.640 bro.

00:24:22.100 Honestly,

00:24:22.660 no,

00:24:22.800 I feel you a hundred percent.

00:24:23.980 Like,

00:24:24.120 yeah,

00:24:24.420 like I,

00:24:25.060 and without drinking or drugs or whatever,

00:24:26.980 like how did I fucking have fun?

00:24:30.800 Did I have fun?

00:24:32.240 That's all I think about now when people die.

00:24:34.800 Did he have fun?

00:24:36.180 Did she have a good time?

00:24:39.080 Not did,

00:24:40.060 was she upstanding?

00:24:42.540 Did he fucking enjoy himself?

00:24:44.740 Did he wear the mink ever?

00:24:46.220 Yeah,

00:24:46.440 exactly.

00:24:47.120 And like,

00:24:47.780 did he,

00:24:48.160 he wore it twice.

00:24:48.800 Yeah.

00:24:49.280 Was he a member?

00:24:51.220 Was he a respected member of society?

00:24:54.080 No,

00:24:54.460 fuck it.

00:24:55.260 Did you enjoy?

00:24:58.000 Did you like it?

00:24:59.640 Yeah.

00:24:59.840 That's the thing is when that haircut is you are fucking liking it.

00:25:03.820 Yeah.

00:25:04.060 That's the thing.

00:25:04.760 You fucking,

00:25:05.920 my values,

00:25:07.920 my,

00:25:08.440 uh,

00:25:08.940 my barometer is,

00:25:10.720 I don't care about anybody else's mine.

00:25:14.100 What do I,

00:25:14.780 you know what I've also been doing?

00:25:16.380 Closing my ears.

00:25:17.320 Like literally like,

00:25:18.160 we're like a little kid where you like close your ears and it's like acoustic thing.

00:25:20.920 And just going,

00:25:21.560 what do I like?

00:25:23.460 Yes.

00:25:23.980 What do I like?

00:25:25.520 And then you go,

00:25:26.640 I like ice cream or it'll,

00:25:28.360 the most basic shit comes up.

00:25:30.240 I like ice cream.

00:25:31.160 I like jerking off.

00:25:32.100 I like whatever you like.

00:25:33.600 Yeah.

00:25:33.880 Come up and just do that.

00:25:35.420 Yeah.

00:25:36.080 Just do that.

00:25:36.780 That's,

00:25:37.400 that's what we'll just do that as much as you can without fucking up your life.

00:25:43.220 Yeah.

00:25:44.040 And that's the hard,

00:25:46.640 it's the hardest thing to remember.

00:25:48.620 The hardest thing to remember,

00:25:49.880 like fuck everyone else's values.

00:25:52.620 What do you like?

00:25:54.460 And if it's like,

00:25:55.360 if you're,

00:25:55.880 if you're victimizing people,

00:25:57.300 you're doing it wrong.

00:25:58.180 Right.

00:25:58.560 Right.

00:25:59.000 Like without,

00:25:59.980 you know,

00:26:00.200 without being abusing yourself or abusing,

00:26:02.100 you know,

00:26:02.540 relationships or whatever.

00:26:03.480 But just what do you like?

00:26:04.920 That's the lowest.

00:26:06.780 That's just between you and you.

00:26:09.140 Yeah.

00:26:09.860 Do that as much as you can.

00:26:12.120 Yeah.

00:26:13.040 Yeah.

00:26:13.560 Yeah.

00:26:13.920 Yeah.

00:26:14.320 Having that personal relationship with yourself and just,

00:26:16.640 yeah,

00:26:17.180 that's huge.

00:26:17.900 It's yeah.

00:26:18.280 We lose it.

00:26:18.980 Yeah.

00:26:19.100 Some of that's gotten lost.

00:26:20.160 I think in these definitely an American thing,

00:26:22.100 like it's,

00:26:23.180 it's such a blessing to be able to live here and stuff.

00:26:25.960 But at the same time that we start to see like the devalue,

00:26:29.960 the devalue isation,

00:26:32.880 I think of being a human.

00:26:34.300 Once you like at a certain level,

00:26:36.780 of like comfort and stuff,

00:26:39.360 you really fall out of like whatever tribal or whatever,

00:26:42.880 like instinctual,

00:26:43.700 whatever confidence stuff is inside of you.

00:26:47.060 That's the nice thing about 12 step programs.

00:26:49.260 Yeah.

00:26:49.780 Is you're in a tribe.

00:26:51.520 You're,

00:26:51.920 that's probably what you like about it.

00:26:53.780 Oh yeah,

00:26:54.100 man.

00:26:54.280 I just saw a guy at the gym this morning,

00:26:56.320 uh,

00:26:56.980 last night I'm somewhere and I see,

00:26:58.960 yeah,

00:26:59.240 I went to a meeting last night and it is,

00:27:01.240 man.

00:27:01.360 It's one of the things that I didn't have here in LA.

00:27:03.460 Yeah.

00:27:03.880 Is like sitting,

00:27:05.040 uh,

00:27:05.480 just sitting across from somebody and talking about,

00:27:08.320 we could talk about how we feel like we can have conversations like this.

00:27:10.860 A lot of times where it's a little bit more like,

00:27:13.280 you know,

00:27:13.940 cause yeah,

00:27:15.280 just like about what's going on.

00:27:16.720 Or emotionally.

00:27:17.140 I need help.

00:27:17.960 Like,

00:27:18.200 Hey,

00:27:18.300 I need help.

00:27:18.920 I have to talk.

00:27:19.900 I have to call someone today and tell them not good news and that kind of,

00:27:25.120 or something I have to make a call and that stuff always scares me.

00:27:28.200 So it's like,

00:27:28.620 now I can ask somebody who's done it before or who's older than me,

00:27:31.700 who has a business or something.

00:27:33.160 How do I do this?

00:27:34.280 You know?

00:27:34.620 And they'll tell me and they're like,

00:27:35.660 it's going to be okay.

00:27:36.900 You don't,

00:27:37.260 don't let it spin in your head where you're up half the night.

00:27:39.440 You've had nine conversations with the guy.

00:27:41.460 Yeah.

00:27:42.180 Now I don't have to do that.

00:27:43.340 That shit doesn't have to happen.

00:27:44.460 I can say,

00:27:45.080 okay,

00:27:46.060 you know,

00:27:46.380 I'm powerless over the situation,

00:27:47.600 but somebody else I know can help me.

00:27:49.540 Yeah.

00:27:50.100 And it can be a friend.

00:27:51.180 It just,

00:27:51.680 yeah.

00:27:51.880 It creates a brotherhood,

00:27:53.040 you know?

00:27:53.540 Yeah.

00:27:53.780 I've never gone to 12 step programs.

00:27:55.640 I've been like,

00:27:56.080 fuck,

00:27:56.340 I shouldn't have come in fucking wasting my time.

00:27:59.920 It's always like at least nice.

00:28:02.580 Yeah.

00:28:03.220 It's at best incredibly helpful.

00:28:05.420 And at least like,

00:28:06.580 Oh,

00:28:06.720 this is cool.

00:28:07.500 Yeah.

00:28:08.100 Um,

00:28:08.740 yeah,

00:28:08.960 I got in this year,

00:28:09.760 my program got real small,

00:28:10.720 so I didn't have any of the tools I was needing.

00:28:12.660 Like I had no tools.

00:28:14.100 I was just like holding on and our podcast.

00:28:17.900 It was just more about like helping people and being involved in people's lives.

00:28:21.140 And I just felt like disconnected at some points.

00:28:24.060 And,

00:28:24.280 uh,

00:28:24.380 and I should have just talked about that.

00:28:26.440 Like why I feel disconnected.

00:28:28.220 Well,

00:28:28.520 I've watched your thing about the,

00:28:30.680 you know,

00:28:31.020 why you got sober thing.

00:28:32.200 Yeah.

00:28:32.500 And that's like one of your very popular clip of yours.

00:28:35.260 Right.

00:28:35.600 Yeah.

00:28:35.820 Yeah.

00:28:36.240 And that's what,

00:28:37.560 that's what people like about you,

00:28:40.020 man.

00:28:40.400 Is that you don't understand.

00:28:42.220 You're like,

00:28:43.700 you've,

00:28:44.360 if you were like a logo,

00:28:46.020 you'd be like a guy just carrying a bunch of shit around.

00:28:50.960 Oh,

00:28:51.420 like that guy right there on the wall.

00:28:52.940 That's like you,

00:28:54.160 but like,

00:28:54.540 you're like,

00:28:54.940 I don't know what,

00:28:56.660 but it's like feelings.

00:28:58.740 It's just like emotional shit and discomfort.

00:29:01.780 And like,

00:29:02.480 you're walking around like,

00:29:04.600 I don't know what to do.

00:29:06.760 Peach cobbler.

00:29:07.480 Where can I put this down?

00:29:08.840 Fucking matches,

00:29:10.720 fucking fireworks.

00:29:13.300 Like,

00:29:13.620 like a bunch of clothes,

00:29:17.180 like wet clothes,

00:29:20.480 like the dryer broke and you got fucking,

00:29:24.120 you just take clothes out of the washer and you're looking for like a place to

00:29:30.740 set them down.

00:29:32.080 You're just carrying a bunch of shit around looking for a place to set it.

00:29:38.900 And you can't figure,

00:29:40.720 and that's your appeal.

00:29:42.440 Yeah.

00:29:43.040 That's like,

00:29:44.100 and people and watching you struggle is the emotion is like the fun of it.

00:29:50.260 That's the,

00:29:51.380 like,

00:29:51.600 not the fun of it,

00:29:52.420 but it's,

00:29:52.960 it's fun to watch a guy who doesn't think he knows what he's doing,

00:29:57.080 but you do know what you're,

00:29:59.020 you like,

00:30:00.500 you,

00:30:01.620 if you talk it out,

00:30:03.720 you'll be okay.

00:30:05.020 Yeah.

00:30:05.520 I just quit talking it out,

00:30:06.640 man.

00:30:07.040 I just didn't have a place to talk it out.

00:30:08.560 And then everything,

00:30:09.360 not everything,

00:30:10.060 everything's good.

00:30:10.860 Everything's okay.

00:30:11.780 But my head started to swirl that everything was,

00:30:14.080 you know,

00:30:14.340 just a lot of negative things came in.

00:30:16.000 And,

00:30:16.760 um,

00:30:17.640 and so then I just wasn't in,

00:30:18.940 I was,

00:30:19.740 just living my dream and not even enjoying,

00:30:22.140 uh,

00:30:22.880 trying to say not enjoying it,

00:30:24.120 but I felt like I was just,

00:30:25.920 it was a,

00:30:26.520 I was just scared.

00:30:27.380 I don't know.

00:30:27.840 I just felt fucking scared.

00:30:29.060 And it was a huge,

00:30:29.820 just a lot,

00:30:30.240 just a lot of changes.

00:30:31.360 Like,

00:30:31.460 well,

00:30:31.580 that's the other thing people don't realize about,

00:30:33.560 uh,

00:30:34.360 fame or success or something.

00:30:35.560 It is isolating.

00:30:37.060 And it's a little scary.

00:30:38.440 Cause you're like,

00:30:39.100 fuck,

00:30:39.460 uh,

00:30:40.460 it's like having a superpower somewhere.

00:30:43.680 You're like,

00:30:44.220 fuck,

00:30:44.560 like people know me now.

00:30:46.860 Just the shit.

00:30:47.640 It's just different.

00:30:48.800 And it's less human.

00:30:50.900 It's less human.

00:30:51.860 Yeah.

00:30:52.020 It's less of a human.

00:30:53.280 It's less of a normal human experience.

00:30:55.820 Like even fame a thousand years ago was like everyone in the,

00:30:59.040 well,

00:30:59.320 everyone in the tribe knew everybody anyway,

00:31:00.780 but like you got a little more respect.

00:31:02.980 You felt like,

00:31:03.680 uh,

00:31:03.940 I'm the shaman and people think I'm cool.

00:31:06.840 Yeah.

00:31:06.960 I'm the rock thrower.

00:31:07.940 Yeah.

00:31:08.260 Yeah.

00:31:08.540 I throw,

00:31:08.900 I'm the fucking charred rocks.

00:31:10.400 Yeah.

00:31:10.860 I'm the guy that fucks.

00:31:11.820 And it's that one guy at night by the fire.

00:31:13.680 Yeah.

00:31:13.880 Just huge fucking like big ass.

00:31:16.900 Yeah.

00:31:17.400 I'm the guy that sleeps.

00:31:18.780 Yeah,

00:31:19.120 man.

00:31:20.320 I'm the rest.

00:31:21.260 Yep.

00:31:22.320 Uh,

00:31:22.720 so it is.

00:31:24.200 So when you get in these situations where,

00:31:26.080 and then we also think like famous people are kind of full of shit.

00:31:30.640 So,

00:31:31.120 or they're phony or they're like putting it on.

00:31:35.000 So it just,

00:31:35.980 it's,

00:31:36.360 it,

00:31:36.720 it's a lot of weird.

00:31:38.140 It's just a lot of weird dynamics.

00:31:40.160 Yeah.

00:31:40.600 Which is why I,

00:31:41.660 it eats everybody up.

00:31:43.620 Oh,

00:31:44.040 you see it.

00:31:44.660 Yeah.

00:31:44.800 And I see it in a lot of these a rooms and stuff like that.

00:31:47.040 You see a lot of people in,

00:31:48.740 and that gets scary too.

00:31:49.880 It's like,

00:31:50.620 well,

00:31:50.780 what do,

00:31:51.260 what type of popularity do you want?

00:31:53.500 How much do you want?

00:31:54.720 What is,

00:31:55.180 um,

00:31:57.160 it's just,

00:31:57.640 yeah,

00:31:57.820 it's just,

00:31:58.300 so all of that,

00:31:59.340 just a lot of that coming into my head and just trying to figure it out and not having a lot of,

00:32:03.340 not going to a lot of meetings and having like a lot of,

00:32:05.840 and trust in those things.

00:32:07.820 Um,

00:32:08.900 it's a different,

00:32:09.680 it's a different kind of discomfort.

00:32:12.220 Like,

00:32:12.620 it's like a new discomfort.

00:32:14.180 It's a new,

00:32:15.020 it's a new way that you don't understand the world.

00:32:17.760 Yeah.

00:32:18.000 It's like,

00:32:18.280 well,

00:32:18.380 I didn't understand the world before and I've kind of figured it out or I got out.

00:32:24.320 You escape into this other like,

00:32:26.140 well,

00:32:26.220 now I'm popular and famous and successful.

00:32:28.740 And then you're in that,

00:32:29.740 you're like,

00:32:30.100 uh,

00:32:30.560 fuck,

00:32:30.960 this is its own fucking ball.

00:32:33.760 It's its own rules and dynamics and shit.

00:32:37.000 Yeah.

00:32:37.100 And I just wanted to feel like myself and I just couldn't,

00:32:39.340 you know?

00:32:39.520 And so now I'm working more towards,

00:32:41.180 uh,

00:32:42.180 it's not even working more.

00:32:43.140 I'm just trying to just let go of stuff and,

00:32:45.280 you know,

00:32:46.200 kind of trust a higher power and,

00:32:48.440 um,

00:32:49.640 and just getting back into my program more.

00:32:51.380 Yeah.

00:32:51.580 And it makes me feel more dialed in and makes me feel like I want to help other

00:32:54.780 people.

00:32:55.160 And,

00:32:55.520 and I hadn't had that feeling for like about six months and it's tough when that

00:32:58.900 was like the feeling that I love the most was thinking like,

00:33:01.620 Oh,

00:33:01.800 there's other people that struggle.

00:33:02.920 And it's one thing I love about you,

00:33:04.220 Neil,

00:33:04.400 is that you always like are good at talking about,

00:33:06.720 um,

00:33:07.880 like,

00:33:08.380 and it's not like self pity shit.

00:33:09.780 It's just like,

00:33:10.320 this is what's kind of going on in my head.

00:33:12.500 Yeah.

00:33:12.920 And how it's relating to the world around me.

00:33:15.080 Well,

00:33:15.300 that's the thing that like,

00:33:17.760 and you love that kind of stuff.

00:33:18.920 I love,

00:33:19.640 cause I don't have any shame about it.

00:33:22.420 I don't have any,

00:33:23.820 cause I started going with like a therapist when I was like 23.

00:33:27.680 Yeah.

00:33:28.100 So I've been,

00:33:30.200 I just stopped.

00:33:31.400 You're like the Larry Fitzgerald of,

00:33:32.920 yeah,

00:33:34.600 man,

00:33:34.760 I got dreads and shit and we have to make urban references.

00:33:37.300 You're the blackest guy we've had on the show in a while.

00:33:38.980 Thank you.

00:33:39.460 Yeah.

00:33:39.860 Cause Deion Cole canceled.

00:33:43.340 Man,

00:33:43.740 he actually sent me,

00:33:45.100 um,

00:33:46.280 he actually was like,

00:33:47.140 Neil,

00:33:47.360 man,

00:33:47.620 can you go over and fucking,

00:33:49.460 uh,

00:33:49.760 he said,

00:33:50.480 bless,

00:33:51.040 bless the L.

00:33:51.740 So,

00:33:51.920 you know,

00:33:52.120 he's black.

00:33:53.160 Um,

00:33:53.900 uh,

00:33:54.420 so,

00:33:55.080 uh,

00:33:56.180 uh,

00:33:56.780 yeah,

00:33:57.160 that you don't,

00:33:58.320 I started going and I just stopped when I came to that conclusion of,

00:34:02.560 I had a therapist that was forcing me into,

00:34:07.520 uh,

00:34:09.060 relationships like not,

00:34:11.580 not for it,

00:34:12.020 but I went to therapy because I'd be in romantic relationships and be like,

00:34:15.780 I don't really like it that much.

00:34:17.600 Yeah.

00:34:18.100 I'm like,

00:34:18.640 you know,

00:34:19.520 I can do it.

00:34:20.680 I can like robot my way into like,

00:34:23.820 be compassionate,

00:34:24.780 be that it like,

00:34:25.920 be like,

00:34:26.520 uh,

00:34:26.740 the stuff women want you to be.

00:34:29.560 Yeah.

00:34:30.220 And I can do it in some,

00:34:31.380 and I just wasn't alone and all that.

00:34:33.120 Yeah.

00:34:33.260 All of it,

00:34:33.940 man.

00:34:34.920 Uh,

00:34:35.520 and,

00:34:36.140 uh,

00:34:38.160 you know,

00:34:38.960 consider emotionally like,

00:34:40.500 uh,

00:34:41.000 intuitive.

00:34:41.880 Oh yeah.

00:34:42.260 What's going on.

00:34:43.180 Yeah.

00:34:43.440 Like listening and like,

00:34:44.800 Oh yeah.

00:34:45.320 And,

00:34:45.680 um,

00:34:46.540 and I didn't love it.

00:34:48.100 Right.

00:34:48.920 And,

00:34:49.440 and she was like,

00:34:50.560 I,

00:34:50.780 you know,

00:34:50.960 so I would just force my way.

00:34:52.440 I,

00:34:52.680 I tried to force myself to feel more comfortable in relationships.

00:34:56.560 I wasn't really supposed to be in,

00:34:58.180 I wasn't in love with the people,

00:34:59.460 but I didn't know that.

00:35:01.020 And finally,

00:35:02.900 like a year ago,

00:35:03.840 I was like,

00:35:04.500 Hey,

00:35:04.740 what if my role on earth is not to be a husband or a boyfriend?

00:35:12.220 What if that?

00:35:12.880 And she was like,

00:35:13.420 well,

00:35:13.520 I just think you'd be happier.

00:35:14.500 And I was like,

00:35:15.280 but I don't know if I will be right.

00:35:17.620 And I want to feel okay.

00:35:19.720 Right.

00:35:20.340 Instead of always having this fight.

00:35:22.100 Yeah.

00:35:22.500 Like even the idea of like,

00:35:24.280 I'm looking for someone to complete me.

00:35:27.000 Right.

00:35:27.580 No,

00:35:27.800 I'm complete,

00:35:29.200 complete.

00:35:29.820 I'm not an asshole for saying that.

00:35:31.340 I don't want to feel like I'm looking out the window.

00:35:33.980 Like,

00:35:34.060 is she here?

00:35:35.180 Yeah.

00:35:35.560 Like,

00:35:35.820 no,

00:35:36.220 I'm maybe someone is for me and I'll meet her and it'll be great.

00:35:40.780 You don't want to hear Google dolls and have hope,

00:35:43.140 you know?

00:35:43.640 Yeah,

00:35:44.060 man.

00:35:44.420 Yeah.

00:35:44.720 It's like,

00:35:45.040 you're like,

00:35:45.280 I'm over that.

00:35:46.580 It's not even,

00:35:47.340 I don't have a hope.

00:35:48.280 It's just right.

00:35:49.800 Not hope,

00:35:50.280 but not,

00:35:50.640 not this constant,

00:35:52.380 a little bit of pressure.

00:35:53.300 Like,

00:35:53.560 yeah,

00:35:53.940 like pressure.

00:35:54.660 Yes.

00:35:54.880 It's a pressure.

00:35:55.780 And I feel like women feel it too.

00:35:57.900 And won't admit to it.

00:35:59.120 Imagine how much they feel that if you're,

00:36:00.860 yeah,

00:36:01.320 yeah.

00:36:02.020 Like that.

00:36:02.800 They need to be a certain kind of way to get a guy to like him.

00:36:05.920 And all this.

00:36:06.440 Chosen kind of.

00:36:06.840 And it's like,

00:36:07.480 it's my version of cutting my hair like that,

00:36:09.980 where I just was like,

00:36:12.420 I don't want to feel like I'm,

00:36:15.700 I'm just a boyfriend.

00:36:17.340 I'm a,

00:36:17.780 I'm an unsuccessful boyfriend.

00:36:19.560 Yeah.

00:36:20.000 I'm a,

00:36:20.320 I'm a,

00:36:20.700 I'm a failed husband somehow,

00:36:23.180 even though I'm not like,

00:36:24.960 and that's been a huge one for me.

00:36:27.440 Wow.

00:36:27.900 Like,

00:36:28.260 and so I stopped going to therapy because I was going to therapy for that to feel like,

00:36:34.300 well,

00:36:34.880 I'll just be a better person and I'll,

00:36:36.660 then I'll,

00:36:37.360 and it's like,

00:36:37.760 no dude,

00:36:38.120 it's about the relationship with yourself and accepting that you're fine.

00:36:42.660 Yeah.

00:36:43.200 Fine.

00:36:43.740 Yeah.

00:36:43.920 I'm good.

00:36:44.620 Yeah.

00:36:44.780 You're good.

00:36:46.040 Whatever you are,

00:36:47.040 as long as you don't drink or do drugs,

00:36:49.040 you're great.

00:36:49.940 Yeah.

00:36:50.180 And even if you do,

00:36:51.100 you're great.

00:36:51.680 Yeah.

00:36:51.960 Like you'd prefer not to,

00:36:53.740 but if I get life's long,

00:36:56.000 whatever.

00:36:56.740 Yeah.

00:36:57.700 But if you're,

00:36:59.240 so I don't have any shame about emotions or I just find it interesting.

00:37:07.120 I find it as interesting as,

00:37:08.940 as a basketball or,

00:37:13.400 you know what I mean?

00:37:13.780 Like the shit that people like.

00:37:15.600 Oh,

00:37:16.060 I'd love to see that game too.

00:37:17.820 Oh,

00:37:18.280 here's the emotionally unavailable people playing the depressed people.

00:37:21.280 Oh,

00:37:21.780 fucking.

00:37:22.220 I always thought,

00:37:22.880 why don't they have a family feud with stereotypes as the fucking group?

00:37:25.800 That's very funny.

00:37:26.520 Yeah.

00:37:26.780 That'd be so fucking good.

00:37:28.180 Yeah.

00:37:28.480 That's really funny.

00:37:30.600 But no,

00:37:31.020 but okay.

00:37:31.840 So I love that.

00:37:32.600 I love that.

00:37:33.560 Cause there's these weird normal energies and things that it's like,

00:37:38.600 oh yeah,

00:37:39.200 my,

00:37:39.580 I have,

00:37:40.240 if a girls don't like me or if they're not throwing themselves at me or if,

00:37:43.580 or if,

00:37:43.860 if I don't have a girl for something that I'm not okay.

00:37:47.260 Yeah.

00:37:47.880 That you're not,

00:37:49.080 it's a cultural value thing,

00:37:51.160 but,

00:37:51.380 but okay.

00:37:52.120 I'll agree to that for sure.

00:37:53.300 There's a lot of pressure from cultural like,

00:37:55.760 but also,

00:37:56.780 there's something probably inside most of us.

00:37:59.360 And it would make sense that it's not in everyone.

00:38:01.120 Just like some people are good at something and some people have or not,

00:38:04.620 but that do you feel like at some point it's a,

00:38:08.860 almost like a,

00:38:09.560 a selfish thing?

00:38:11.560 Like,

00:38:11.800 okay,

00:38:12.060 I'm going to like,

00:38:14.340 you able to look at it like that too.

00:38:15.620 Like,

00:38:15.800 am I just,

00:38:16.400 I'm not opposed to it.

00:38:17.460 That's the thing is I'm not opposed to it.

00:38:19.220 I,

00:38:19.520 I just don't want to feel,

00:38:21.860 I think a lot of people are in relationships that they,

00:38:26.200 I mean,

00:38:26.700 statistically look at marriages.

00:38:29.240 Those are the people that were sure they found the right person.

00:38:32.920 Yeah.

00:38:33.660 And that's half of those don't work.

00:38:35.580 Yeah.

00:38:35.860 I wish they had like on big brother when they go in that secret room and tell

00:38:38.240 how they really feel.

00:38:38.960 I always said that right for every wedding.

00:38:40.200 I mean,

00:38:42.360 that's what I was saying.

00:38:43.540 I did a joke the other night that weddings are basically like jury duty for

00:38:47.700 everyone,

00:38:48.280 but you don't get to say like,

00:38:51.220 you're like,

00:38:51.680 I got a feeling I'm not going to say anything.

00:38:54.920 Uh,

00:38:55.560 uh,

00:38:55.960 the,

00:38:56.460 I don't,

00:38:57.140 I,

00:38:57.480 I just think most people are in the wrong relationships because they were like,

00:39:02.080 well,

00:39:02.280 it becomes this musical chairs thing.

00:39:03.840 Well,

00:39:03.980 like,

00:39:04.560 especially for women because they have a biological clock and they want to

00:39:07.420 reproduce and they're like,

00:39:08.520 fuck,

00:39:08.920 uh,

00:39:09.340 close enough.

00:39:10.380 Yeah.

00:39:10.580 Imagine that.

00:39:11.320 Imagine putting like a damn,

00:39:12.620 I mean,

00:39:12.840 every woman's vagina is basically like,

00:39:15.040 who's that man with Danny Glover?

00:39:17.000 You know what I'm talking about?

00:39:17.760 Mel Gibson.

00:39:18.420 Yeah.

00:39:18.800 But in that movie or the hot,

00:39:20.580 hot quiz pop,

00:39:22.540 pop quiz,

00:39:23.340 pop quiz,

00:39:23.800 hot shot.

00:39:24.920 Uh,

00:39:25.480 uh,

00:39:25.940 yeah,

00:39:26.320 it's a lethal weapon.

00:39:27.860 Yeah.

00:39:28.380 Yeah.

00:39:28.760 They have a certain amount of time for the bomb.

00:39:30.320 Yeah.

00:39:30.560 Imagine having that in your fucking body all the time.

00:39:32.780 All the time.

00:39:33.700 And by the other thing about the vagina is like,

00:39:37.360 you,

00:39:37.620 we didn't have a baby this month.

00:39:38.700 I hope you like blood bitch rat.

00:39:41.120 Yeah.

00:39:41.480 And then three days of blood.

00:39:43.200 Oh,

00:39:43.680 like it's like the Bible.

00:39:45.180 Fuck.

00:39:45.520 Yes.

00:39:46.200 Every fucking month.

00:39:48.020 Like,

00:39:48.480 dude,

00:39:48.760 give it a fucking rest with the blood.

00:39:51.000 Cause I didn't,

00:39:51.840 sorry,

00:39:51.960 I didn't make a baby.

00:39:53.120 Yeah.

00:39:53.520 It's a big deal.

00:39:55.220 It's like a Stephen King.

00:39:56.780 It really is like what again with the blood.

00:40:00.840 Uh,

00:40:01.780 so,

00:40:03.020 so like,

00:40:04.400 Jesus Christ.

00:40:05.380 I get it.

00:40:06.160 You want to have a baby.

00:40:07.720 Stop bleeding on me.

00:40:10.740 Um,

00:40:11.440 pop,

00:40:11.780 pop quiz.

00:40:12.460 Hot shot is actually from speed.

00:40:14.240 I don't know if you're,

00:40:14.820 uh,

00:40:15.480 Danny Glover with Dennis Hopper.

00:40:16.900 Yeah,

00:40:17.140 I am.

00:40:17.620 Yeah,

00:40:17.820 he sure is.

00:40:18.580 That's what I'm doing.

00:40:19.120 Hannah Reeves with,

00:40:19.940 with,

00:40:20.440 uh,

00:40:21.100 Mel Gibson,

00:40:21.660 with Mel Gibson.

00:40:22.580 Um,

00:40:23.060 what do you think about that,

00:40:24.100 Nick,

00:40:24.320 about what,

00:40:25.060 uh,

00:40:26.180 um,

00:40:26.680 about what Neil said about the relationship thing?

00:40:29.100 Um,

00:40:29.400 I'm wondering like how you ended up dealing with it and like finding,

00:40:32.820 you seem like maybe you just hide it well,

00:40:34.860 uh,

00:40:35.480 but you seem like you found some contentment or I did.

00:40:38.940 I did find it in that realization.

00:40:41.400 Wow.

00:40:42.260 And like I did that three Mike show.

00:40:44.000 The next show is about that.

00:40:45.740 The next show is about.

00:40:48.220 I'm.

00:40:49.640 I'm good.

00:40:50.860 I'm all right.

00:40:51.940 It's despite all the ways that you're telling me I'm not all right.

00:40:56.420 I swear to you.

00:40:57.700 I'm all right.

00:40:58.420 I respect that.

00:40:59.420 I swear.

00:40:59.560 I fucking swear.

00:41:00.960 I'm all right.

00:41:01.540 See,

00:41:01.660 I respect that.

00:41:02.360 I believe you because I know that you look,

00:41:04.900 you like I've seen over the years how we,

00:41:06.900 you know,

00:41:07.020 we've talked about,

00:41:07.720 especially a lot of relationship stuff and,

00:41:09.520 um,

00:41:11.300 about that.

00:41:12.720 I know you've gone through the proper channels.

00:41:14.340 I mean,

00:41:14.520 if there's anything are you're,

00:41:15.620 you're a thinker and an analyzer,

00:41:17.160 you know?

00:41:18.100 Yeah.

00:41:18.240 Um,

00:41:19.160 so I could see.

00:41:20.300 Yeah.

00:41:20.580 I just think that,

00:41:21.420 do you ever feel that pressure?

00:41:22.600 Nick?

00:41:22.740 Like there's this invisible pressure in the world that.

00:41:25.400 A hundred percent.

00:41:25.880 I mean,

00:41:26.400 that rising grind line you had earlier,

00:41:29.400 like it's just,

00:41:30.660 I mean,

00:41:31.060 I listened to Jocko too much.

00:41:32.480 So I'm like,

00:41:32.940 if I'm not getting up at four 30,

00:41:34.200 I failed.

00:41:35.480 For what?

00:41:36.560 I know.

00:41:37.400 I know.

00:41:38.360 Yeah.

00:41:38.880 For what?

00:41:39.640 Like,

00:41:39.900 yeah,

00:41:40.080 there's all,

00:41:40.460 we are just,

00:41:41.160 do you like it?

00:41:42.180 Do you like it?

00:41:43.180 That's the only thing.

00:41:44.160 It's like,

00:41:44.580 do you even like when people are,

00:41:46.840 are,

00:41:47.480 I was saying to somebody,

00:41:49.580 they got mad at me,

00:41:50.220 but I was like,

00:41:51.000 having a good disposition is basically a,

00:41:54.680 a six figure job.

00:41:56.980 Unbelievable.

00:41:57.280 It's a six figure salary.

00:41:58.760 You're,

00:41:59.320 if you're happy naturally,

00:42:02.320 you're,

00:42:02.980 you're doing better than almost everybody.

00:42:06.560 Yeah.

00:42:07.080 And that's the thing that people never talk about.

00:42:08.720 It's like disposition is the number one commodity.

00:42:14.140 It's the,

00:42:14.940 it's the most valuable thing in the world.

00:42:17.520 Yeah.

00:42:18.000 Yeah.

00:42:18.340 I talked to my sister on the phone,

00:42:19.480 man,

00:42:19.620 she's the happiest girl I know.

00:42:20.740 And they live right by the interstate,

00:42:21.960 like illegally close to the interstate.

00:42:24.120 Like I'm sure someone who has anything to do with zoning road,

00:42:27.080 but like,

00:42:28.300 like you'll see a children's ball from their yard bounce across six lanes.

00:42:32.040 So it's really alarming.

00:42:33.440 Homework flying into the expressway.

00:42:35.880 Like what?

00:42:37.340 Mama.

00:42:38.400 Yeah,

00:42:39.000 totally.

00:42:39.940 And I'll call her on FaceTime and she's sitting there with her,

00:42:42.540 you know,

00:42:42.780 she's got her two kids and they're beautiful and they're smart.

00:42:45.400 And,

00:42:45.580 and the dog ate the baby or somebody,

00:42:48.720 you know,

00:42:48.900 things are going on.

00:42:49.920 But it's all right.

00:42:51.060 Definitely.

00:42:51.840 Yeah.

00:42:52.320 But you know,

00:42:53.060 Theo,

00:42:53.580 we're not going to,

00:42:54.560 we're just enjoying ourselves.

00:42:55.720 And they're having a blast.

00:42:57.080 Having a fucking blast.

00:42:59.380 So,

00:42:59.560 and I'm envious every time I talk to her,

00:43:01.560 I'm in,

00:43:01.940 yeah,

00:43:02.180 of the fun,

00:43:02.920 just like the hat.

00:43:03.800 I'm like,

00:43:04.120 man.

00:43:04.880 Yeah.

00:43:05.300 Like that.

00:43:06.020 And that's like,

00:43:07.520 literally you cannot buy that.

00:43:09.500 Right.

00:43:10.080 You cannot.

00:43:11.020 It doesn't matter how many pot,

00:43:12.820 how many download.

00:43:13.560 In order to change your disposition is so fucking hard.

00:43:19.200 And the only thing that does it is 12 step programs.

00:43:21.660 Yeah.

00:43:21.840 I always say the only time I see people change are when they almost die or they go to 12 step program.

00:43:29.440 And that's the only way in,

00:43:31.860 as an adult that I've ever seen people change.

00:43:34.500 Yeah.

00:43:34.740 Like,

00:43:35.080 fuck,

00:43:35.340 I almost died.

00:43:36.080 And now I understand life in a different way.

00:43:38.040 Or I go to 12 step programs and every single day I have to like,

00:43:44.620 re calibrate myself.

00:43:46.700 Yeah.

00:43:46.920 to this,

00:43:47.700 to a,

00:43:48.140 a way better value system.

00:43:50.860 Yes.

00:43:51.400 Than the one that we're all soaking in.

00:43:55.280 Yeah.

00:43:55.900 That we're rising and grinding and fucking like no legs.

00:43:59.060 Legs and eggs.

00:43:59.560 Yeah.

00:44:00.200 Like fucking pro fucking games.

00:44:03.760 Can't stop.

00:44:04.660 Won't stop.

00:44:05.240 And it's just some lady that had triplets and you're like,

00:44:07.520 yeah,

00:44:07.740 like stop for a second.

00:44:09.520 Just stop lady.

00:44:10.960 Yeah.

00:44:11.300 Can't stop.

00:44:12.260 Will stop.

00:44:13.100 You gotta stop.

00:44:15.780 Yeah.

00:44:16.260 So,

00:44:16.820 so I,

00:44:18.700 so that's the thing with the relationship thing is like feeling like it's

00:44:22.060 okay.

00:44:23.640 It's okay to feel the way you feel.

00:44:26.120 Yeah.

00:44:26.580 Quit making a,

00:44:27.260 yeah.

00:44:27.400 Quit letting everyone make us feel like just cause we don't,

00:44:29.300 we don't have somebody.

00:44:30.160 It doesn't mean you're nobody else is sitting in the world thinking you're a

00:44:33.340 failure.

00:44:33.640 Cause you don't have somebody you you're still your person.

00:44:36.540 You're still,

00:44:37.000 and you can be a happy person.

00:44:38.200 Yeah.

00:44:38.420 Don't let that be that element.

00:44:40.520 Also have a fucking fun time with yourself.

00:44:43.640 Yeah.

00:44:44.980 Have your,

00:44:45.560 it's like I was,

00:44:46.400 I wrote in my notes thing,

00:44:48.020 like I want to meet someone who's having a funny conversation with

00:44:52.600 themselves.

00:44:53.440 Like that's what I'm,

00:44:55.520 what's like people go,

00:44:56.200 what kind of person you want?

00:44:57.060 Just,

00:44:57.380 are you fucking having a funny,

00:44:59.160 it do you,

00:44:59.680 when you walk around,

00:45:00.420 do you think funny shit or think interesting shit?

00:45:03.000 Like that's the kind of person I'd like to meet instead of like a square.

00:45:07.540 Yeah.

00:45:07.960 Or like one of us that's having this conversation,

00:45:10.680 but not really.

00:45:11.700 This is a good conversation.

00:45:12.380 This is a good conversation,

00:45:13.040 but I mean somebody that's living like,

00:45:14.960 yeah,

00:45:15.120 like always.

00:45:15.920 Yeah.

00:45:16.180 Like an interesting,

00:45:17.960 uh,

00:45:18.280 whatever,

00:45:18.720 like whatever people call this a deep conversation,

00:45:20.780 it's,

00:45:21.840 it's,

00:45:22.220 it's all conversations should be around this deep.

00:45:24.920 Yeah.

00:45:25.200 As far as I'm concerned.

00:45:26.520 Yeah.

00:45:26.800 I get bored.

00:45:27.520 Otherwise,

00:45:28.020 or just,

00:45:28.520 I've already had it a million times.

00:45:29.920 Well,

00:45:30.100 everything else is just trivia.

00:45:31.560 Everything else is like,

00:45:32.480 so what,

00:45:33.580 uh,

00:45:34.120 what'd you get?

00:45:34.920 What'd you eat?

00:45:35.620 Yeah.

00:45:36.480 Yeah.

00:45:36.700 Everybody wants to know what everybody ate.

00:45:38.020 What'd you,

00:45:38.560 come on,

00:45:39.860 man.

00:45:40.460 What'd y'all have?

00:45:41.640 Yeah.

00:45:42.060 If somebody says,

00:45:42.760 what'd y'all have,

00:45:44.140 I'm out of here,

00:45:45.260 bro.

00:45:45.700 Come on,

00:45:46.340 man.

00:45:46.580 You got to do better.

00:45:47.880 Dude.

00:45:48.020 It is so nice though.

00:45:48.980 When I'm walking around in my head is having a fun time.

00:45:51.240 Yeah.

00:45:52.140 That's the fucking singing.

00:45:54.680 Yeah.

00:45:55.200 Hearing associations.

00:45:56.980 Thinking about something.

00:45:57.900 Making rhymes.

00:45:58.420 Fist bumping a black guy,

00:45:59.260 like a big black guy at the gym.

00:46:00.260 A big giant black guy at the gym.

00:46:01.860 You don't even know why you fist bump,

00:46:03.700 but he liked it.

00:46:04.480 And you liked it.

00:46:04.820 You liked it.

00:46:05.500 He liked it.

00:46:06.280 Maybe he knows you.

00:46:07.220 Maybe he doesn't.

00:46:07.940 Maybe he just felt you.

00:46:09.480 Yeah.

00:46:09.620 You're walking off.

00:46:10.420 You're like,

00:46:10.600 I didn't do slavery.

00:46:11.460 I'm good.

00:46:12.180 Yeah.

00:46:12.360 I'm straight.

00:46:13.060 Just regular white people.

00:46:14.560 Yeah.

00:46:16.340 I had a black homeless guy one time say,

00:46:18.620 what's up white boy.

00:46:19.480 It's fucking great.

00:46:20.720 And I knew he meant it.

00:46:22.320 I knew what he meant.

00:46:23.400 And I,

00:46:23.800 and he knew who I was in that moment.

00:46:28.480 Um,

00:46:29.120 so yeah.

00:46:30.240 Silver Bell.

00:46:31.860 Silver Bells.

00:46:35.880 Oh,

00:46:36.280 what's that out there on the Ridge?

00:46:38.320 Is that Santa?

00:46:39.400 Nope.

00:46:39.940 That's a wallet.

00:46:41.400 The Ridge wallet helps you carry what you need every day.

00:46:45.420 If you need something,

00:46:46.740 man,

00:46:46.940 you can have it with you.

00:46:48.480 Sometimes you're at home and you're like,

00:46:49.660 man,

00:46:49.880 wish I had money.

00:46:50.760 Wish I had a credit card.

00:46:52.140 Wish I had a little picture of my little lady,

00:46:54.140 you know,

00:46:54.840 a little two by three or whatever,

00:46:56.360 those little wallet size.

00:46:58.280 Well,

00:46:59.060 now you can.

00:47:00.860 Ridge streamlines how you carry cash and cards in that flagship Ridge hitter right here.

00:47:07.740 And also in their new commuter backpack,

00:47:11.180 they want to make the most out of what you're bringing with you.

00:47:13.900 So don't bring like a,

00:47:16.080 you know,

00:47:16.780 don't bring a big knapsack or don't bring a donkey with a bunch of water on his sides.

00:47:22.520 And also,

00:47:23.520 did you know that half the donkey population might be gone in a few years because they are being used now for Chinese medicine?

00:47:30.980 Dude,

00:47:31.260 I don't want that donkey in me.

00:47:33.420 The Ridge is so confident that you don't even have to be.

00:47:36.460 That's how good it is.

00:47:37.640 It's super durable.

00:47:40.520 Heard that.

00:47:41.900 And that's,

00:47:42.600 uh,

00:47:42.840 you can get it now and you can get a discount 10% off.

00:47:46.000 Go to Ridge.com slash Theo and use code Theo for 10% off.

00:47:51.940 And just go to Ridge.com.

00:47:53.680 You know,

00:47:54.560 if you go to Ridge.com,

00:47:55.780 you can get it.

00:47:56.440 And you go to Ridge.com slash Theo and use code Theo for 10% off.

00:48:03.080 Enjoy that front pocket carry.

00:48:06.340 Well,

00:48:06.660 I'll be honest with you.

00:48:07.420 I'm going this afternoon to get my butt waxed and also to,

00:48:12.220 um,

00:48:12.580 I'll probably shave this evening.

00:48:14.180 What I'm talking about is taking hair off of my body.

00:48:17.680 And it's,

00:48:18.680 um,

00:48:19.720 there's something very unique about taking hair off your body.

00:48:22.240 You feel like a chef,

00:48:23.840 you know,

00:48:24.180 you feel like somebody that's going to cook up something.

00:48:26.180 Maybe you,

00:48:26.820 you might cook up a corn row or something.

00:48:29.420 If you put enough hair in a pot and know how to use the utensils.

00:48:33.460 But what I'm talking to you about is manscaped.

00:48:36.040 It's number one in men's below the belt grooming.

00:48:39.420 So often we think of cutting everything up above and doing nice shapes on our

00:48:43.960 chest for the football season.

00:48:45.320 But now it's time to really take care of that junk area.

00:48:50.240 You know,

00:48:50.800 everybody wants to have that nice looking wiener and have that really that,

00:48:55.560 you know,

00:48:55.760 that Corvette of,

00:48:56.700 of Cox,

00:48:57.460 but you have to take care of the hair.

00:49:00.680 Manscaped is changing the grooming game.

00:49:03.740 Their perfect package 2.0.

00:49:05.780 Ooh,

00:49:06.320 that perfect package.

00:49:08.520 You'll find the electric trimmer called that lawnmower.

00:49:11.400 You know what I'm saying?

00:49:12.080 This thing ain't gas powered.

00:49:13.320 I don't put gas near my crotch.

00:49:15.980 It has waterproof skin safe technology.

00:49:19.320 And that'll protect you from nicking your sack.

00:49:21.860 You can create less mess by trimming in the shower.

00:49:24.320 You're sexy boy.

00:49:26.760 Get 20% off and free shipping with the code Theo,

00:49:29.760 T-H-E-O at manscaped.com.

00:49:32.780 They got that perfect package 2.0 includes that chafing,

00:49:36.740 anti-chafing boxer briefs as well.

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00:49:42.540 And also they do an anti-chafing ball deodorant.

00:49:46.840 20% off and free shipping with the code Theo at manscaped.com.

00:49:52.020 I've been taking care of my crotch.

00:49:53.720 Now it's your turn.

00:49:56.320 You tried,

00:49:57.500 uh,

00:49:57.860 you tried some unique therapies.

00:49:59.520 Well,

00:49:59.680 first you try,

00:50:01.900 we'll do that.

00:50:02.600 And then we'll talk about Shanghai.

00:50:03.600 I could just got bad.

00:50:04.280 Yeah.

00:50:04.560 Oh,

00:50:04.920 you tried some unique therapies.

00:50:06.560 Um,

00:50:07.400 and,

00:50:07.960 um,

00:50:08.640 and I want to hear about that.

00:50:09.720 Yeah.

00:50:09.840 For depression.

00:50:10.460 I want to hear about that electromagnetic one.

00:50:12.560 Yeah.

00:50:12.840 So I tried,

00:50:14.700 I,

00:50:15.080 when I started going to therapy in 20,

00:50:16.380 when I was 23,

00:50:17.380 uh,

00:50:18.300 they put me on Zoloft cause they,

00:50:20.220 they said,

00:50:20.920 how great was it in the beginning?

00:50:22.900 Amazing.

00:50:23.260 Bro,

00:50:25.000 I could drink nine gin and tonics,

00:50:26.520 dude,

00:50:26.620 and not get drunk.

00:50:28.220 I liked it.

00:50:29.620 Uh,

00:50:30.100 I liked it for like a decade though.

00:50:31.920 Oh,

00:50:32.280 I was good.

00:50:33.320 I didn't,

00:50:33.860 it wasn't a drinking thing for me.

00:50:35.100 I just liked it.

00:50:35.920 I liked it.

00:50:36.580 Oh yeah.

00:50:36.800 I loved it,

00:50:37.340 bro.

00:50:37.420 I can get up early.

00:50:38.380 I felt good.

00:50:39.540 You would,

00:50:39.820 you last longer when you had sex?

00:50:41.540 Oh,

00:50:41.940 I wasn't,

00:50:42.620 I'd last longer when I jerked off for sure.

00:50:44.640 Sure.

00:50:44.940 All right.

00:50:45.240 Same thing.

00:50:46.340 Um,

00:50:46.660 definitely,

00:50:47.300 uh,

00:50:47.760 way definitely dude.

00:50:49.100 Yeah.

00:50:49.740 Uh,

00:50:50.000 cause you were always looking to last longer.

00:50:52.060 Yeah.

00:50:52.460 Yeah.

00:50:53.020 Right.

00:50:53.500 Yeah.

00:50:53.900 You wanted to save it.

00:50:54.740 Oh no,

00:50:55.260 dude,

00:50:55.560 I'm definitely at a certain point.

00:50:57.160 It's like,

00:50:57.440 Jesus.

00:50:58.280 Come on,

00:50:58.780 man.

00:50:59.060 What was this for?

00:51:00.240 I'm the one who I'm going to have the orgasm.

00:51:05.180 What are we making it last for?

00:51:08.320 It's like my,

00:51:09.220 what's that Greek guy who's pushing the ball up the hill?

00:51:11.780 Sisyphus.

00:51:12.200 Yeah.

00:51:12.380 It's like,

00:51:12.580 this is my Sisyphus.

00:51:13.560 Yeah.

00:51:13.700 Why am I?

00:51:14.420 Yeah.

00:51:15.060 Uh,

00:51:15.380 where you're looking for just the right thing to finish to.

00:51:18.880 You're like,

00:51:19.160 what?

00:51:19.420 Just finish.

00:51:20.680 Dude.

00:51:21.060 I used to press my butthole against the corner of the counter right when I

00:51:23.600 don't.

00:51:24.420 Is that true?

00:51:25.020 Yeah.

00:51:25.360 I believe that.

00:51:26.220 Cause you couldn't make it up.

00:51:26.780 When I was young,

00:51:27.800 bro.

00:51:28.000 When I was young.

00:51:28.980 Yeah.

00:51:29.520 Great.

00:51:30.580 Yeah.

00:51:30.940 And you just go,

00:51:31.580 I don't know.

00:51:31.980 So when people judge other people for what they're into,

00:51:34.020 it's like,

00:51:34.360 I used to press your butthole against the counter against linoleum.

00:51:38.640 So it was linoleum too.

00:51:39.940 Of course it was.

00:51:40.660 Yeah.

00:51:41.620 Um,

00:51:42.180 so,

00:51:43.020 uh,

00:51:43.560 so I,

00:51:44.400 so I did that for a while and it worked and then it just stopped working.

00:51:47.700 But like after a decade,

00:51:48.980 so then I started doing other shit and none of them worked.

00:51:53.080 Other pills.

00:51:54.420 No,

00:51:54.580 but okay.

00:51:55.000 So it's all often you tried other pills and none of them work.

00:51:56.980 Yeah.

00:51:57.520 Uh,

00:51:57.840 so then I just,

00:51:58.860 I think I went on Reddit.

00:51:59.920 And,

00:52:00.460 and typed in like alternative depression.

00:52:03.460 Damn,

00:52:04.020 bro.

00:52:05.140 And next thing you know what?

00:52:07.040 Next thing you know.

00:52:07.740 You would have been sleeping in the washing machine at night.

00:52:09.680 Uh,

00:52:10.120 next thing you know.

00:52:10.980 No,

00:52:11.200 so they,

00:52:11.700 no,

00:52:11.900 they had,

00:52:12.440 there was a thing called TMS,

00:52:14.500 which was a transcranial magnetic stimulation.

00:52:17.720 Right.

00:52:18.000 That's the way,

00:52:18.660 the thing I like people make fun of Reddit,

00:52:20.680 but it's the only place,

00:52:22.960 by the way,

00:52:23.360 Reddit's the reason podcasts work.

00:52:25.140 Yes.

00:52:25.440 that it's unorganized organization.

00:52:28.500 It's like,

00:52:29.160 it's off the grid,

00:52:30.440 but on the grid,

00:52:31.220 it's like an alternative way to do shit.

00:52:33.920 So it's this,

00:52:35.020 it's what podcast is to radio.

00:52:37.700 Reddit is to the internet or society.

00:52:40.680 Um,

00:52:41.340 and transcranial magnetic stimulation.

00:52:44.140 So it was basically like a tapping thing.

00:52:46.880 It's a,

00:52:47.240 it feels like tapping,

00:52:48.120 but it's a magnet.

00:52:49.100 It's an MRI beam stimulating a party of brain that's,

00:52:52.960 uh,

00:52:53.580 known to cause depression.

00:52:55.640 Did that for it's 45 half hour sessions.

00:52:59.800 I did that like,

00:53:00.880 right?

00:53:01.400 Uh,

00:53:01.860 over like a month and a half,

00:53:03.420 basically like four days a week.

00:53:04.620 Did that four years ago and it worked great.

00:53:08.580 Then it worked great.

00:53:11.140 I stopped taking Zoloft.

00:53:12.500 I felt really good.

00:53:13.700 Wow.

00:53:13.900 I was on nothing.

00:53:15.660 Um,

00:53:16.120 fuck.

00:53:16.800 Yeah,

00:53:17.040 I was,

00:53:17.980 I was more emotional,

00:53:19.480 but it was still,

00:53:20.420 I was good.

00:53:21.380 Yeah.

00:53:21.620 I was like,

00:53:22.300 I'd cry kind of without warning.

00:53:24.400 Like,

00:53:24.720 like I would get just like quickly upset.

00:53:28.220 Uh,

00:53:28.680 and then I,

00:53:31.280 someone gave me HGH.

00:53:33.380 Cause I'll fucking try anything.

00:53:35.260 I don't give a fuck.

00:53:36.480 I'll like,

00:53:36.860 yeah,

00:53:37.040 HGH.

00:53:37.520 Sure.

00:53:37.840 Why not?

00:53:38.440 Fuck it.

00:53:39.120 But it was like a bad formula and it was like a cream.

00:53:42.740 So then I started having panic attacks on stage.

00:53:46.480 You're on HGH,

00:53:47.500 the cream.

00:53:48.360 Yeah.

00:53:48.580 I was on the clear.

00:53:49.540 I was on Barry,

00:53:50.480 Barry bonds is fucking protocol.

00:53:52.560 The SPF milkshakes.

00:53:54.420 Yeah.

00:53:54.620 It was.

00:53:55.100 Yeah.

00:53:55.840 That's funny.

00:53:56.880 Uh,

00:53:57.280 yeah,

00:53:57.560 it was crazy.

00:53:58.320 So I started having panic attacks on stage.

00:54:00.300 I was like,

00:54:00.620 fuck this is not good.

00:54:02.100 I had panic attack the night before I did my Netflix three mics.

00:54:04.840 Oh yeah.

00:54:05.640 So,

00:54:06.660 uh,

00:54:07.520 and you talked about this on one of those specials.

00:54:09.040 You talked about the trans crown.

00:54:10.580 Yeah.

00:54:10.780 Yeah.

00:54:10.820 And three mics.

00:54:11.280 So,

00:54:11.840 uh,

00:54:12.420 so,

00:54:12.820 so I did that and then,

00:54:15.640 uh,

00:54:16.040 it started on panic attacks.

00:54:16.840 I was like,

00:54:17.140 ah,

00:54:17.280 fuck,

00:54:17.500 I guess it didn't work.

00:54:18.140 So then,

00:54:18.480 uh,

00:54:18.900 I went back on Zoloft and I still felt good from the,

00:54:21.620 the transcranial,

00:54:23.260 but,

00:54:23.460 uh,

00:54:24.660 you know,

00:54:25.740 I'm always looking,

00:54:27.400 I'll do anything.

00:54:28.180 I don't care.

00:54:28.600 I don't have kids or wife or anything.

00:54:29.940 Right.

00:54:30.300 So,

00:54:30.840 um,

00:54:31.720 so you,

00:54:33.620 uh,

00:54:34.220 I,

00:54:34.580 you do the show in Shanghai and I'm always looking to just travel and I'd rather go to,

00:54:38.600 to Tokyo than like,

00:54:41.180 uh,

00:54:42.460 Milwaukee.

00:54:43.060 Right.

00:54:43.380 Just,

00:54:43.580 it's like more interesting.

00:54:44.680 Right.

00:54:45.000 Yeah.

00:54:45.180 Definitely super unique.

00:54:46.400 Um,

00:54:46.780 and right before we go,

00:54:47.640 I just want to,

00:54:48.740 what did anything else that you tried?

00:54:50.660 So,

00:54:51.140 Oh,

00:54:51.900 I also tried ketamine,

00:54:53.580 ketamine,

00:54:54.260 the,

00:54:54.440 uh,

00:54:55.100 the drug.

00:54:55.920 Right.

00:54:56.440 Uh,

00:54:56.800 but that's,

00:54:57.600 they do that clinically now for depression and I didn't like it.

00:55:01.780 Other people liked it.

00:55:02.760 I just didn't like it.

00:55:03.660 It didn't work for me.

00:55:05.080 Um,

00:55:05.620 so,

00:55:06.720 so,

00:55:07.500 so you just show in Shanghai.

00:55:08.780 I text it.

00:55:09.520 And again,

00:55:09.840 I also do Milwaukee,

00:55:10.900 but if I'm just going to do,

00:55:12.200 if,

00:55:12.320 if I'm want to go away for a weekend,

00:55:13.700 I'm fuck it.

00:55:14.520 Um,

00:55:14.860 so I go to,

00:55:15.620 I go,

00:55:16.240 I text,

00:55:16.820 I email you.

00:55:17.660 I said,

00:55:17.940 what's you did a show in Shanghai.

00:55:19.260 Who's the guy?

00:55:20.680 And he was like,

00:55:22.120 yeah,

00:55:22.260 I do a show in Shanghai,

00:55:23.140 but also my brother,

00:55:24.640 my brother is a like neurosurgeon and he's very involved in the transcranial,

00:55:31.760 the TMS community.

00:55:32.960 Oh wow.

00:55:33.520 And I didn't know that.

00:55:34.580 Yeah.

00:55:34.780 So it's a new thing.

00:55:36.320 So,

00:55:36.760 uh,

00:55:37.760 he's like,

00:55:38.160 if you want to do TMS while you're here and do the show,

00:55:43.180 that Chinese TMS,

00:55:44.440 man,

00:55:44.920 Jesus.

00:55:46.140 So yeah,

00:55:46.800 man.

00:55:47.260 So last week I did that fucking Chinese TMS,

00:55:51.940 bro.

00:55:52.900 And I'm in a Chinese hospital in Shenzhen,

00:55:57.720 China,

00:55:58.120 and I'm getting,

00:56:00.040 so the first time I did TMS was here,

00:56:02.060 but his brother's got this brain mapping software where they can see what parts of your brain are communicating well with other parts of your brain.

00:56:10.680 So they basically found that the back of my brain,

00:56:14.480 which is the serotonin center,

00:56:16.460 wasn't communicating well with the rest of my brain.

00:56:20.700 So I got fucking zapped in the back and on the right side for four,

00:56:28.960 five,

00:56:30.300 basically 10 sessions a day for four days straight.

00:56:32.600 Jesus Christ.

00:56:33.520 Yeah.

00:56:34.220 I went and did the damn thing.

00:56:35.900 Now you can sew a fucking sweater with your tongue.

00:56:37.980 I mean,

00:56:38.280 yeah,

00:56:38.680 I'm,

00:56:39.460 I'm fucking,

00:56:40.320 I'm on that fucking that unlimited shit.

00:56:43.880 I'm on the unlimited plan right now.

00:56:46.180 I'm fucking.

00:56:46.800 Did you feel that?

00:56:48.500 What happened?

00:56:49.300 I feel good.

00:56:50.040 I don't want to do the thing where like I'm in love.

00:56:52.900 I don't,

00:56:53.220 I'm just like,

00:56:53.820 I feel good.

00:56:54.820 I think it's better,

00:56:56.640 but I don't want to.

00:56:57.880 It was elective.

00:56:58.920 It wasn't like I was like,

00:57:00.260 I couldn't,

00:57:01.260 I'm just like a zombie in life.

00:57:03.480 I,

00:57:03.760 I want,

00:57:04.480 I'm trying to optimize my,

00:57:06.680 trying to optimize my fucking life.

00:57:09.180 Yes.

00:57:09.460 To feel good,

00:57:10.740 not to produce,

00:57:11.620 not to rise and grind,

00:57:12.420 not to make a bigger profit than I did last year.

00:57:16.580 Just feel good.

00:57:17.760 Have a fun time.

00:57:19.080 Yeah.

00:57:19.540 Enjoy myself.

00:57:20.340 Do weird shit.

00:57:21.440 Just do,

00:57:22.480 go to Shenzhen,

00:57:23.860 China,

00:57:24.640 go to Hong Kong,

00:57:25.560 go to fucking Shanghai.

00:57:27.540 I love hearing that,

00:57:28.600 man.

00:57:28.720 Cause sometimes I forget that that is the goal,

00:57:30.700 that,

00:57:31.000 that the goal is to feel good.

00:57:32.640 Sometimes it's like,

00:57:33.300 I know it.

00:57:34.240 Originally I knew it,

00:57:35.260 but sometimes then I forget that,

00:57:37.920 that what an important goal that is.

00:57:39.440 You know,

00:57:39.880 it's like these,

00:57:40.360 all these other kind of ways to say it and ways to like,

00:57:44.760 uh,

00:57:45.460 you know,

00:57:46.600 replace it almost get put in there.

00:57:48.860 You put it,

00:57:50.480 uh,

00:57:51.260 you organize it.

00:57:52.380 It gets organized in a way.

00:57:53.600 Cause you think about when you were like 10 during the summer,

00:57:56.800 right?

00:57:57.680 Oh yeah.

00:57:59.160 What were you trying to do?

00:58:00.420 You just get up,

00:58:02.140 just try to get some shit popping.

00:58:04.400 Dude.

00:58:04.820 Yeah.

00:58:05.060 Yeah.

00:58:05.360 Dude.

00:58:05.560 Just try to,

00:58:06.300 in short,

00:58:06.900 just try to get some shit popping.

00:58:08.360 I try to put your sandals on dirt bike around fucking.

00:58:11.600 And these guys are over there and the,

00:58:13.620 at the edge of the woods.

00:58:15.040 Yeah.

00:58:15.540 They're doing some shit.

00:58:16.960 Then you go over here,

00:58:18.240 you get some candy,

00:58:20.000 you get,

00:58:20.380 and you can keep doing that.

00:58:23.540 Yeah.

00:58:23.940 Just in a different way.

00:58:26.160 Just,

00:58:26.700 you just can do it.

00:58:27.800 You work and you do all that stuff,

00:58:29.620 but just see what else is just get some shit.

00:58:32.120 What do you like doing?

00:58:33.860 Do that.

00:58:35.020 I like doing standup.

00:58:36.340 Here's what I realized I like doing.

00:58:37.480 I like doing standup.

00:58:38.940 I like directing commercials.

00:58:41.520 I like,

00:58:42.440 uh,

00:58:42.980 writing jokes and talking to black people to talking to black people.

00:58:48.040 Of course.

00:58:49.520 Uh,

00:58:50.060 and I like just like,

00:58:54.020 just fucking,

00:58:55.260 fucking around watching shit on the internet,

00:58:57.320 going on the end of the online three hours.

00:58:59.700 You like,

00:59:00.320 you're kind of a little bit of a Magellan on the,

00:59:02.120 uh,

00:59:02.900 mental health front a little bit.

00:59:04.300 I mean,

00:59:04.480 it seems like nobody talks about it.

00:59:06.440 No.

00:59:06.640 And that's the other thing is nobody talks about it.

00:59:09.100 Yeah.

00:59:09.340 And I don't have any shame.

00:59:10.920 I don't think it's any weirder.

00:59:12.780 I don't think that having depression is a weakness.

00:59:16.540 I don't think it's any weaker than having tendonitis.

00:59:19.440 Yeah.

00:59:20.080 I don't know.

00:59:20.540 I'm just like,

00:59:20.920 I don't know.

00:59:21.340 Let's see.

00:59:21.880 I'll try to treat it.

00:59:22.820 I'm not going to make it like,

00:59:25.260 uh,

00:59:25.980 I don't,

00:59:26.800 I'm not trying to make it a heavy thing.

00:59:28.740 Yeah.

00:59:29.280 But I,

00:59:29.940 whenever I see you,

00:59:30.540 I try to talk about your feelings or your emotions.

00:59:32.340 Like,

00:59:32.880 cause dude,

00:59:33.600 that's the thing.

00:59:34.660 The reason why that clip of you is popular is cause everyone wants to talk about it.

00:59:40.100 But most places it's kind of like,

00:59:43.640 uh,

00:59:44.980 you know,

00:59:45.540 I'm sure after shows you have as many people that just like you cause you're funny and,

00:59:51.080 and,

00:59:51.500 and,

00:59:52.060 and quirky.

00:59:53.600 And then there's also people that are like,

00:59:54.760 Hey man,

00:59:55.060 can I talk to you about such and such?

00:59:57.300 Yeah.

00:59:57.500 A lot of people come out.

00:59:58.920 A lot of people are struggling.

01:00:00.060 Yeah.

01:00:00.280 I didn't realize that,

01:00:01.220 uh,

01:00:01.520 I guess that so many people are having tough times,

01:00:04.200 but then I look at all the people that are dying of meds and dying of this and that.

01:00:07.840 And I'm like,

01:00:08.160 man,

01:00:08.400 people really are struggling.

01:00:09.900 Yeah.

01:00:10.180 Do you think that one of the reasons a lot of young men are struggling,

01:00:13.440 um,

01:00:14.460 is because just like the way we've changed from being like really like limbic,

01:00:21.360 like things we need to do,

01:00:22.400 hunt,

01:00:22.900 get milk,

01:00:23.620 get honey,

01:00:24.280 get,

01:00:25.000 you know,

01:00:25.660 you know,

01:00:26.460 attack stuff,

01:00:27.300 do stuff,

01:00:28.100 be there connected to the earth.

01:00:29.820 And then now we've become this separate sort of just,

01:00:32.860 it's almost like we're just like a strong thing.

01:00:35.660 We're house cats being contained.

01:00:37.420 Yeah.

01:00:37.640 We're indoor cats now.

01:00:39.100 So it's fucking scary.

01:00:40.800 Well,

01:00:41.200 yeah,

01:00:41.560 it,

01:00:41.900 it'll make you start to,

01:00:43.560 you know,

01:00:44.580 well,

01:00:45.220 we're in a,

01:00:45.980 it's a,

01:00:46.380 these are all luxury problems.

01:00:48.020 Right,

01:00:48.160 right.

01:00:48.300 Yeah.

01:00:48.420 No,

01:00:48.580 they're luxury problems.

01:00:49.560 I'm not saying it like,

01:00:50.740 yeah,

01:00:50.820 I'm not complaining.

01:00:52.100 It's the,

01:00:52.760 this goes from the richest American,

01:00:55.640 most of our shits taken care of our basic needs.

01:01:00.880 Right.

01:01:01.380 Yeah.

01:01:01.540 And if you don't want to do shit,

01:01:02.700 you can just fucking let the government give you money.

01:01:05.000 I mean,

01:01:05.380 it's like you,

01:01:06.180 you can,

01:01:06.660 you can get,

01:01:07.480 taken care of in this country.

01:01:08.640 Yes.

01:01:09.100 So once you've got your basic needs taken care of,

01:01:12.940 then you start getting philosophical.

01:01:16.440 Right.

01:01:16.700 And start eating away.

01:01:17.800 And like,

01:01:18.120 am I pleased?

01:01:19.640 Right.

01:01:20.240 Am I happy?

01:01:21.640 As much as we're,

01:01:22.480 I'm shitting on the bar conversation.

01:01:24.040 Like,

01:01:24.940 no,

01:01:25.340 but it's a,

01:01:25.860 but a problem.

01:01:26.500 That's what I'm wondering.

01:01:27.360 Are we a side effect?

01:01:28.280 But a problem is a problem.

01:01:29.160 It's right.

01:01:29.440 If your problem is I need water today or your problem is,

01:01:32.560 or my brain doesn't feel good today.

01:01:34.040 Yeah.

01:01:34.660 That's still a problem.

01:01:35.980 Yeah.

01:01:36.100 And I think I would,

01:01:37.780 that what I do is I try to treat it the same way I treat it.

01:01:41.680 I'm hungry,

01:01:42.260 which is I need food.

01:01:44.940 I need some,

01:01:45.900 I'm going to do something to treat my brain.

01:01:48.380 Right.

01:01:49.060 I'm going to fucking China,

01:01:50.580 bro.

01:01:50.880 Yeah.

01:01:51.700 They got them good zappers over there.

01:01:54.220 I'm going to China like that.

01:01:56.060 I honestly,

01:01:56.820 that's,

01:01:57.200 that's kind of my thinking.

01:01:59.080 Yeah.

01:01:59.320 Like we're set up enough that we can just,

01:02:02.520 even if you work 60 hours a week,

01:02:04.240 that's,

01:02:04.500 you still have a lot of,

01:02:06.260 you still have a decent amount of free time.

01:02:08.520 Yeah.

01:02:08.960 Like that you,

01:02:09.620 and what do you want to do with it?

01:02:11.400 Treat the rest of it like the,

01:02:14.320 you're hunting.

01:02:14.940 Just what are you hunting for?

01:02:16.240 Yeah.

01:02:16.520 If it's,

01:02:17.240 you're hunting for answers.

01:02:19.820 There's plenty of shit you can do.

01:02:21.480 There's plenty of shit you can listen to.

01:02:22.920 Plenty of books you can read.

01:02:24.360 Plenty of 12 step stuff.

01:02:25.640 You can meditate.

01:02:26.240 You can pray.

01:02:27.040 You can,

01:02:27.760 there's so much shit you can do.

01:02:29.680 That's not like,

01:02:31.520 yeah,

01:02:31.720 there's a lot of new therapies out there.

01:02:32.940 Things are coming out all the time.

01:02:34.140 There's new ways that people are thinking,

01:02:35.680 you know,

01:02:35.940 there's podcasts,

01:02:36.760 people to listen to,

01:02:37.620 people to share,

01:02:38.460 share what's going on with them.

01:02:41.520 What was China like?

01:02:42.580 Did you think,

01:02:43.040 what did you think of the Chinese?

01:02:44.040 Be honest.

01:02:47.420 Man,

01:02:47.860 I wasn't going to be honest till you yelled that at me.

01:02:50.180 Yeah.

01:02:50.480 I was like,

01:02:51.320 I had a bunch of lies in the chamber.

01:02:53.720 Yeah.

01:02:56.400 Here's,

01:02:56.900 I like,

01:02:57.460 here's what I'll say.

01:02:58.240 Chinese women were better looking than I thought.

01:03:00.140 Okay.

01:03:00.400 Because I think that they get a bad rap.

01:03:02.800 I think the Japanese women get too good a rap and Chinese women get,

01:03:06.460 don't get enough props.

01:03:08.500 I respect that.

01:03:09.380 Thank you.

01:03:10.120 And,

01:03:10.540 uh,

01:03:11.060 I've never been into a communist country before.

01:03:14.620 So what I found really fucking crazy,

01:03:18.600 uh,

01:03:19.400 was that they don't really tell you anything.

01:03:23.240 There are rules that,

01:03:25.600 that are given to you.

01:03:27.560 There's no legislation.

01:03:29.900 There's no government that you can lobby and get a law.

01:03:35.200 They just make laws and they make rules.

01:03:38.820 And those are the rules.

01:03:40.000 And the other thing is sometimes they enforce them.

01:03:43.880 Sometimes they don't.

01:03:44.860 And they don't tell you when they're going to enforce them and when they're

01:03:49.400 going to not.

01:03:50.340 Wow.

01:03:50.500 And that's fucking scary.

01:03:52.420 That's scary.

01:03:53.000 So I was doing a show in Shanghai and I said,

01:03:55.820 are there things I shouldn't talk about?

01:03:59.020 And they said,

01:03:59.920 don't talk about the three T's to bet Taiwan and Tiananmen square.

01:04:04.280 Those are the,

01:04:04.820 those are the touchy subjects.

01:04:06.960 So I was like,

01:04:07.460 I don't really have anything to say about those things anyway.

01:04:09.800 Now they are putting Muslims in concentration camps.

01:04:13.140 Are they?

01:04:13.340 Yeah.

01:04:14.540 They're called the Uyghurs and like millions of them.

01:04:18.240 And so I did a joke about that.

01:04:20.380 A lot of Uyghurs in Detroit,

01:04:21.600 to be honest with you.

01:04:23.280 And so now,

01:04:26.280 so you,

01:04:26.880 so you made,

01:04:27.040 so the fucking,

01:04:27.820 I made a joke about that,

01:04:28.840 which I was like,

01:04:29.500 and literally a black woman came to the show and was like,

01:04:32.200 better go ahead with that shit in the front row.

01:04:35.120 Like don't fucking,

01:04:36.900 they will fucking wrap you up.

01:04:39.020 And by the way,

01:04:39.800 there's no due process.

01:04:40.980 So if you get arrested,

01:04:42.640 we'll let you go.

01:04:44.120 And we let you go.

01:04:44.700 The judges are just people that just were like,

01:04:48.360 I'm not going to say they were just guys that were hanging out at the

01:04:50.700 courthouse,

01:04:51.280 but it's close.

01:04:53.340 Like if you just have seniority,

01:04:55.680 you'll get,

01:04:56.260 you become a judge.

01:04:56.860 You don't have to have a law.

01:04:58.760 So they're all just actors almost in a,

01:05:01.020 not actors,

01:05:01.880 but they're all just kind of pieces of this.

01:05:06.760 Apparat.

01:05:07.240 Dude,

01:05:07.540 there's also 1.6 billion people.

01:05:09.840 So as much as we go,

01:05:11.680 man,

01:05:11.960 it's like,

01:05:12.420 how,

01:05:12.820 what kind of parent would you be?

01:05:14.360 Yeah.

01:05:14.980 If you got to put,

01:05:16.140 you got to lay the law down.

01:05:17.460 But Brian was telling me this thing where they,

01:05:20.580 you don't have to,

01:05:21.840 there's no real regulation there.

01:05:24.160 So people will build high rises.

01:05:27.840 Yeah.

01:05:28.160 I saw some of those things without,

01:05:30.100 without,

01:05:31.100 without,

01:05:32.360 without,

01:05:32.800 they don't tell anyone.

01:05:34.400 They just own the property.

01:05:35.860 And they're like,

01:05:36.120 yeah,

01:05:36.240 we're going to build it.

01:05:36.880 And then if you don't know the right person,

01:05:40.500 Brian was telling me they,

01:05:41.800 they,

01:05:42.200 they,

01:05:42.480 there was a place that had,

01:05:43.680 there was a high rise building,

01:05:45.100 like a,

01:05:45.600 you know,

01:05:45.840 probably a hundred units,

01:05:46.780 whatever they,

01:05:48.420 but they didn't talk to the right people.

01:05:51.080 So the government said,

01:05:53.540 Hey,

01:05:53.880 residents go to a spa this weekend.

01:05:56.680 We're going to put you up at this place.

01:05:58.740 You got to,

01:05:59.240 you got to leave the building for the weekend.

01:06:00.680 We're going to do some repairs.

01:06:02.060 They knock the shit down with all their shit in it.

01:06:06.880 And just like,

01:06:09.180 cause they didn't know.

01:06:11.760 They just,

01:06:12.600 the people,

01:06:13.100 the people who bought the apartments didn't know that the fucking landlord didn't clear it.

01:06:17.820 So all their shit's gone and there's nobody to talk to.

01:06:22.060 Right.

01:06:23.340 That's crazy.

01:06:25.240 That's crazy.

01:06:26.240 Yeah.

01:06:26.480 So,

01:06:27.180 so it's almost like,

01:06:29.040 but then the,

01:06:31.100 and there's cameras everywhere,

01:06:33.280 everywhere,

01:06:33.960 dude.

01:06:34.340 I don't know if you noticed.

01:06:35.200 Ev fucking everywhere on the street,

01:06:38.460 but there's no crime.

01:06:41.220 Yeah.

01:06:41.820 Very little crime.

01:06:42.960 So it's almost like there's 10 human rights.

01:06:48.560 There's 10 like human,

01:06:50.220 like we'll call them human rights.

01:06:51.300 And every country goes,

01:06:52.540 all right,

01:06:52.740 we're going to pick five of them.

01:06:54.000 Cause here there's not cameras everywhere.

01:06:56.100 You're not like,

01:06:57.360 you get your face scanned when you go to China.

01:06:59.660 Yeah.

01:06:59.900 So they could,

01:07:01.700 they,

01:07:02.120 if they thought I was a problem,

01:07:03.900 they can just follow them.

01:07:05.280 They just do the thing.

01:07:06.220 Where's the face?

01:07:06.920 The face is here.

01:07:07.540 The face,

01:07:07.920 they can track me.

01:07:09.020 That's crazy.

01:07:09.540 Right.

01:07:10.680 So here you're not tracked basically other than Google and Facebook.

01:07:13.960 The government's not tracking.

01:07:15.540 Dateline of course.

01:07:17.120 If you're really about your shit,

01:07:18.660 Dateline will come.

01:07:19.260 Yeah,

01:07:19.460 dude.

01:07:19.720 And here you're not tracked,

01:07:23.780 but there's,

01:07:24.820 you might get shot at Walmart.

01:07:26.340 Yeah.

01:07:27.220 So it's like,

01:07:29.080 it's a 50,

01:07:29.720 50.

01:07:30.080 Yes.

01:07:30.360 It's like,

01:07:30.820 which,

01:07:31.140 which,

01:07:31.540 which,

01:07:32.040 which,

01:07:32.380 which human rights do you want?

01:07:34.320 Which,

01:07:34.780 which qualities of life do you want?

01:07:36.240 It's a great man.

01:07:36.960 There's a,

01:07:37.280 it's a,

01:07:37.960 it's a great,

01:07:38.920 uh,

01:07:40.060 you know,

01:07:40.760 when you put something next to something else.

01:07:42.360 Yeah.

01:07:43.060 It was really interesting.

01:07:44.640 Like I found it fucking fascinating.

01:07:46.560 Like,

01:07:46.920 wow.

01:07:47.440 Because you don't feel as much like a human over there.

01:07:49.720 You don't feel as much like an individual at all.

01:07:51.940 And they don't seem like individuals.

01:07:53.660 That was one thing I noticed.

01:07:54.720 A lot of the Chinese people,

01:07:55.820 they didn't seem like as much individuals.

01:07:59.060 Everybody almost seemed like,

01:08:00.620 okay,

01:08:00.860 this is where I'm supposed to be right now.

01:08:02.320 This is where I'm going.

01:08:03.440 It seemed like,

01:08:04.480 and I'm not saying that.

01:08:05.380 That's a,

01:08:05.800 also a value system.

01:08:06.920 Like their society has never been,

01:08:08.980 by the way,

01:08:09.500 Americans,

01:08:10.600 that wasn't a,

01:08:12.020 individualism wasn't a thing until like a hundred years ago.

01:08:15.480 Wow.

01:08:16.020 Cause it's good for capitalism.

01:08:17.360 It's like good.

01:08:18.020 You're going to express yourself and you're going to,

01:08:19.720 sell shit.

01:08:20.480 Buy all the shit.

01:08:21.200 Fucking merch and fucking,

01:08:22.680 you got,

01:08:23.000 everyone's got their merch table.

01:08:24.560 Like in,

01:08:25.520 in the world and the,

01:08:26.580 in American society.

01:08:27.780 So there,

01:08:28.780 they don't even value like,

01:08:30.280 uh,

01:08:30.600 no,

01:08:30.960 we're about family and togetherness.

01:08:33.200 So that's the,

01:08:34.480 it's another thing where like you get to be an individual,

01:08:37.800 but then you end up that guy.

01:08:40.880 At what cost you walking around,

01:08:42.940 just feeling uncomfortable.

01:08:44.520 Cause you're not in a tribe,

01:08:46.160 but you are,

01:08:47.760 you are an individual.

01:08:49.720 Yeah.

01:08:50.180 There you go,

01:08:50.980 man.

01:08:51.240 So that's what you,

01:08:52.400 this is what you wanted.

01:08:54.440 Your sister's happy as fuck.

01:08:56.120 Yeah.

01:08:56.740 Living by the interstate with a bunch of kids.

01:08:58.920 Yeah.

01:08:59.280 Cause she fucking loves her kids and it's great.

01:09:01.860 Yeah.

01:09:02.760 Like,

01:09:03.340 so it's just a,

01:09:04.420 it's,

01:09:04.780 and there's a doubt.

01:09:05.700 There's a downside to everything.

01:09:07.740 Yeah.

01:09:08.320 And that's the downside to,

01:09:10.140 to be in here is that you just feel a little disaffected.

01:09:15.480 Yeah.

01:09:15.840 The way we built things,

01:09:16.900 it's,

01:09:17.240 uh,

01:09:17.740 it's,

01:09:18.100 yeah,

01:09:18.200 it's a little bit more commercial to a little bit more individual.

01:09:20.480 You need to stand for this.

01:09:21.540 You need to do this.

01:09:22.280 Look how fucking alone you are.

01:09:24.040 Then later,

01:09:24.500 then they sell you all the books,

01:09:25.400 how to be on alone.

01:09:26.920 It's like,

01:09:27.440 Jesus Christ.

01:09:28.060 This is all the,

01:09:28.680 what about the movement?

01:09:29.680 What about the,

01:09:30.260 no,

01:09:30.480 yeah,

01:09:31.040 no,

01:09:31.380 that too.

01:09:32.100 But also now this,

01:09:34.480 yeah.

01:09:34.760 Now this,

01:09:35.600 now we sold you this.

01:09:36.600 We have another pant.

01:09:37.640 We have another program we want to sell you,

01:09:39.900 which is undoing the first program.

01:09:42.520 But that really is as much as it's a joke,

01:09:44.920 like that you feel alienated.

01:09:47.420 Oh,

01:09:47.640 it's exactly what it's.

01:09:49.020 Yeah.

01:09:50.140 Yeah.

01:09:50.540 I found in China and I was also shocked in Shanghai when I was there,

01:09:53.700 how many,

01:09:54.100 how few European and Americans were there.

01:09:57.360 I didn't see very many.

01:09:59.280 No,

01:09:59.800 it's that's what I told somebody.

01:10:01.640 It's not only do they not speak English,

01:10:03.220 it's like they'd never heard of it.

01:10:05.840 Yeah.

01:10:06.020 Like they don't like what?

01:10:08.520 I mean,

01:10:08.880 I had a guy you get in cabs and they don't speak a fucking word of the word of the words you speak.

01:10:19.380 They don't know any of them.

01:10:21.700 I had a guy,

01:10:22.720 you would love this.

01:10:24.160 The,

01:10:24.620 so I get in it like a kind of cab where the guy's like one,

01:10:28.100 one hundred,

01:10:28.920 which is like eight bucks.

01:10:30.040 He's like one.

01:10:31.240 And I was like,

01:10:31.700 all right,

01:10:31.920 cool.

01:10:32.160 Like kind of a chubby,

01:10:33.640 like 30 year old Chinese dude.

01:10:36.460 It was gratifying.

01:10:37.460 Cause you just go to these Chinese and you know,

01:10:39.660 you're right.

01:10:40.240 Whereas here,

01:10:40.660 if you say,

01:10:41.120 everybody,

01:10:41.820 you say Chinese for all Asians and now you're racist.

01:10:44.440 Yeah.

01:10:44.720 But there you just got some Chinese guy.

01:10:46.960 You're right.

01:10:47.280 Um,

01:10:48.540 but,

01:10:48.940 uh,

01:10:50.000 but,

01:10:50.460 uh,

01:10:50.700 so I get in the,

01:10:51.520 so he takes me to my hotel and he goes,

01:10:55.000 uh,

01:10:55.920 two and I go,

01:10:56.960 Oh,

01:10:57.520 like,

01:10:58.620 all right,

01:10:59.080 motherfucker.

01:10:59.600 I see where you're going.

01:11:00.280 I see the upsell.

01:11:00.940 Yeah.

01:11:01.240 He goes,

01:11:01.940 uh,

01:11:02.780 I charge you double.

01:11:04.460 He like literally heard that in a movie.

01:11:07.620 I charge you double.

01:11:09.240 Like he,

01:11:09.980 he just turned on like a cat,

01:11:12.120 like a fucking evil character.

01:11:14.300 So then I'm like,

01:11:15.060 all right.

01:11:15.380 Like I almost wanted to record him saying it again.

01:11:17.580 Like,

01:11:17.820 so I give him two and he goes,

01:11:20.940 okay,

01:11:21.240 it's cool,

01:11:21.660 man.

01:11:21.840 It's cool.

01:11:22.640 Like he just was taking things he'd seen in movies and just play them back to back.

01:11:29.300 Uh,

01:11:30.420 that was awesome,

01:11:31.700 but he didn't speak any.

01:11:32.920 That's the English he spoke was from.

01:11:34.740 That's great.

01:11:35.520 Yeah.

01:11:35.880 Was I charge you double and it's cool.

01:11:39.180 A pop quiz on shot.

01:11:41.740 Yeah.

01:11:42.280 That's what he,

01:11:43.120 that's what he knew.

01:11:44.540 Uh,

01:11:44.980 so I enjoyed it in that it was a,

01:11:47.740 it was a illustrative of it put America in context,

01:11:54.000 right?

01:11:54.460 It put American life in context,

01:11:56.240 which I would appreciate it.

01:11:57.820 Now,

01:11:58.220 do you think it's,

01:11:58.760 I found it interesting.

01:11:59.600 Like here,

01:12:00.280 it's like everybody come here.

01:12:02.060 Everybody's welcome here.

01:12:03.000 You're ever,

01:12:03.440 but then there,

01:12:04.220 it's not like they're like,

01:12:05.360 you can't just stay there easily and just,

01:12:07.720 it's not like,

01:12:08.640 I don't know if that's true though.

01:12:10.180 I don't,

01:12:11.000 uh,

01:12:11.600 I have a 10 year visa.

01:12:13.460 Do you really?

01:12:14.460 Yeah.

01:12:14.700 You can apply for a 10 year visa.

01:12:16.700 They can eat.

01:12:17.340 You can either do like a six month one and people like,

01:12:19.760 just get a 10 year one.

01:12:21.320 Hmm.

01:12:21.640 Cause yeah,

01:12:21.980 I've had friends that are,

01:12:22.920 that work over there as teachers and stuff like that.

01:12:24.960 And they,

01:12:25.540 uh,

01:12:25.980 they've just said that it's extremely hard,

01:12:27.560 but,

01:12:28.540 um,

01:12:29.580 dude,

01:12:29.920 I was shocked at,

01:12:30.840 uh,

01:12:31.080 just how few,

01:12:31.780 uh,

01:12:33.240 anyone outside of Chinese people I saw there.

01:12:36.280 White,

01:12:36.740 black.

01:12:37.260 No.

01:12:37.740 Yeah.

01:12:37.980 There's no,

01:12:38.940 Latinos,

01:12:39.060 Mexicans.

01:12:39.800 Yeah.

01:12:40.100 There were no,

01:12:40.760 they just wear how people,

01:12:43.840 it's,

01:12:44.180 people don't want to go.

01:12:45.300 People don't want to go to fucking China.

01:12:46.940 It's not a tourist spot a little bit,

01:12:49.940 but I'm not,

01:12:50.680 I'm not dying to go back.

01:12:52.500 I will,

01:12:53.560 but I'm not.

01:12:54.860 And now Hong Kong's fucked up too.

01:12:57.040 Yeah.

01:12:57.180 They're fighting.

01:12:58.160 Um,

01:12:58.860 I did a show in Hong Kong like the night,

01:13:00.660 like during,

01:13:01.500 and I,

01:13:02.200 it was like my buddy sent me a video walking home after the show,

01:13:06.240 like through a fucking zone of bricks.

01:13:09.560 And chaos.

01:13:10.600 Like it's fucked up there.

01:13:12.560 Yeah.

01:13:12.940 And,

01:13:13.360 and I didn't realize like they're fighting for,

01:13:16.420 they're a,

01:13:18.260 they're basically a democratic government and China's going like,

01:13:21.740 no,

01:13:22.080 not anymore.

01:13:22.700 So people's lives are going to be fucked up.

01:13:24.780 They're going to,

01:13:25.400 they're going to be in that system where like,

01:13:28.560 no,

01:13:28.700 you're going to jail and there's no,

01:13:31.120 we'll let you out when,

01:13:32.380 if,

01:13:32.760 if we get around to it,

01:13:33.800 that's going to get itchy.

01:13:34.520 Yeah.

01:13:34.920 If we get around,

01:13:35.420 that's what they're fighting for.

01:13:36.700 Like,

01:13:36.860 and I get that.

01:13:38.000 Like now that I've seen,

01:13:39.560 how shit is,

01:13:40.760 or my understanding of how shit is in China.

01:13:43.220 I'm like,

01:13:43.860 yeah,

01:13:44.080 I would fight.

01:13:44.960 I throw Molotov cocktails too.

01:13:46.640 Yeah.

01:13:47.060 Cause it's,

01:13:47.700 what's the alternatives worse?

01:13:49.120 Like significantly worse.

01:13:50.500 Yeah.

01:13:50.740 I've not ever feel,

01:13:51.660 yeah.

01:13:51.780 Not feeling human.

01:13:53.660 Yeah.

01:13:53.740 I started to feel like people there that at a certain number of people,

01:13:56.440 you start to realize that things seem very much like ants almost.

01:14:00.460 Yeah.

01:14:01.280 Yeah.

01:14:01.560 Well at that number that it is like ants just watching everybody.

01:14:05.880 Like even when I was on the trains,

01:14:07.480 yeah,

01:14:07.740 the zoning,

01:14:08.360 you see somebody built something,

01:14:09.280 no fucking windows,

01:14:10.380 never put a roof on it.

01:14:11.520 Fucking disappeared.

01:14:12.720 Like what just happened?

01:14:13.700 Yeah.

01:14:13.720 What happened there?

01:14:14.780 Yeah.

01:14:15.140 I mean,

01:14:15.720 shit next door.

01:14:16.980 Like,

01:14:17.760 did you go to Hong Kong?

01:14:18.980 Insane zoning.

01:14:19.800 Nuh-uh.

01:14:21.880 It's,

01:14:22.540 there are 70 story buildings this far from each other.

01:14:25.900 Yeah.

01:14:26.340 Like there's just a walkway between them.

01:14:29.560 You're like,

01:14:29.960 this is,

01:14:30.680 you could have,

01:14:31.520 this is fucking crazy and China I'm sure is worse.

01:14:36.580 Like I didn't really walk her.

01:14:37.680 I walked around a little bit.

01:14:38.660 It,

01:14:38.900 it actually,

01:14:39.540 it looked like,

01:14:40.680 have you been to Saudi Arabia?

01:14:42.140 Uh,

01:14:42.540 yes.

01:14:42.940 It looked like,

01:14:44.500 it felt like I've never been to Saudi Arabia,

01:14:46.860 but those like four lanes both ways.

01:14:49.500 Oh yeah.

01:14:50.160 Yeah.

01:14:50.380 But it was like sad kind of vacancy like Las Vegas Boulevard.

01:14:54.700 There was a lot of that in Shenzhen.

01:14:56.360 Yeah.

01:14:57.240 Yeah.

01:14:57.600 There's a lot of that.

01:14:58.420 When you're on the train,

01:14:59.160 you just see stuff.

01:14:59.840 It's like,

01:15:00.060 Oh,

01:15:00.160 did somebody start something here?

01:15:01.320 It never happened.

01:15:02.220 Small,

01:15:02.660 like little towns.

01:15:03.400 It has tons of buildings,

01:15:04.300 but no windows.

01:15:05.300 Nobody live in there.

01:15:06.340 Yeah.

01:15:06.660 Like,

01:15:06.900 Oh,

01:15:07.080 okay.

01:15:07.440 Or maybe they are.

01:15:08.600 Yeah.

01:15:09.120 You don't know.

01:15:09.880 They could be living there.

01:15:11.020 Just not great.

01:15:12.160 Yeah.

01:15:12.520 Yeah.

01:15:13.280 They're not having a great,

01:15:14.300 or maybe they're your sister.

01:15:15.900 Yeah.

01:15:16.140 The Chinese version of your sister,

01:15:17.220 where they're living there and they're having a blast.

01:15:19.620 I couldn't tell how happy people were there.

01:15:22.240 That's one thing I couldn't tell.

01:15:23.420 And that's one problem I've always had with a lot of Asian culture people,

01:15:27.200 really,

01:15:27.780 if I'm real honest,

01:15:29.280 but like,

01:15:29.820 I just can't,

01:15:30.280 it's hard for me to read their vibes.

01:15:31.580 Cause I don't really,

01:15:32.200 I didn't,

01:15:32.580 I don't have enough of an experience of being around a lot of Asian people to know if they are like happy or unhappy.

01:15:37.900 I also think it's the value thing that what is,

01:15:42.000 is that even a,

01:15:43.060 Oh,

01:15:44.180 I see what you're saying.

01:15:44.740 Is that even like,

01:15:45.500 are they even thinking about that shit?

01:15:46.440 Yeah.

01:15:46.720 Is that even a concern?

01:15:47.940 Like,

01:15:48.180 is Bobby Lee happy?

01:15:50.740 That's a good question.

01:15:51.720 I don't know.

01:15:52.360 That could be a documentary.

01:15:55.120 Is Bobby Lee happy?

01:15:56.400 He gets enough rest to be happy.

01:15:57.740 That's for sure,

01:15:58.480 dude.

01:15:58.820 I mean,

01:15:59.060 you talk about doing,

01:16:00.060 I mean,

01:16:00.320 all he does is play video games and sleep.

01:16:02.260 Bro,

01:16:02.660 his car,

01:16:03.320 he's even,

01:16:03.620 he hits Sam Tripoli's fucking car.

01:16:05.280 No.

01:16:06.820 He hit Sam's car recently.

01:16:08.960 Cause he plays a candy crush on a tablet while he drives,

01:16:12.480 which is insane.

01:16:14.980 And his car has so many dings and it's been so many accidents.

01:16:18.980 But one day,

01:16:19.580 yeah,

01:16:19.720 he just T-bones Sam's car in the back parking lot.

01:16:23.320 He got out of the car while it was still in drive.

01:16:26.480 That's how it hit Sam's car.

01:16:27.800 We may have the video still.

01:16:29.220 Yeah.

01:16:29.880 He,

01:16:30.720 what?

01:16:31.440 The car was in drive and he just like had his foot on the brake and he stepped out of his vehicle.

01:16:35.800 And did he watch it hit the car?

01:16:37.420 Or did he try to get back in?

01:16:40.120 I don't know.

01:16:40.780 His whole body feels like an ass cheek that I realized the other day.

01:16:43.640 You're absolutely right.

01:16:45.760 It's shaped like,

01:16:47.060 it is shaped like a smooth ass cheek.

01:16:49.560 Yeah.

01:16:49.980 The front and the back.

01:16:51.640 Oh yeah.

01:16:52.920 He's got like,

01:16:53.800 he goes,

01:16:55.260 it's,

01:16:55.600 it's does this on the front and.

01:16:58.640 And he always says he's Korean.

01:17:00.320 I'm like,

01:17:00.540 who fucking cares,

01:17:01.500 bro?

01:17:02.040 You know what I'm saying?

01:17:03.580 How are you not getting this?

01:17:05.280 How did you,

01:17:07.680 how did you just turn the camera off?

01:17:09.760 I'm fucking sorry.

01:17:10.160 I've been crushing it.

01:17:10.860 I'll pay for it.

01:17:12.300 Can you back it up?

01:17:13.740 The,

01:17:14.060 this was after.

01:17:15.620 Oh,

01:17:15.840 this is the aftermath?

01:17:16.640 Yeah.

01:17:16.760 How are you not getting this?

01:17:18.780 But yeah,

01:17:19.300 you see his car.

01:17:19.800 How did you,

01:17:21.200 how did you just turn the camera off?

01:17:22.540 I'm fucking sorry.

01:17:23.680 I've been crushing it.

01:17:24.360 I'll pay for it.

01:17:27.300 It's,

01:17:27.620 tripling.

01:17:28.660 I like how he said he'll pay for it.

01:17:37.860 Like it's like,

01:17:38.920 I'm going to go,

01:17:39.640 I'm a magnanimous person.

01:17:40.960 I'll pay for it.

01:17:41.520 Like,

01:17:41.740 no.

01:17:42.080 Yeah,

01:17:42.200 of course you're going to pay for it.

01:17:43.860 That's hilarious.

01:17:44.760 Yeah.

01:17:45.860 Uh,

01:17:46.300 yeah.

01:17:46.600 Like that is,

01:17:47.500 it is.

01:17:47.880 There's a,

01:17:48.520 there's,

01:17:48.860 there's a stereotype,

01:17:50.420 but like there does seem to be a stoicism to Asian people generally.

01:17:55.580 Like,

01:17:56.060 but it's not,

01:17:57.200 I don't think that that's a,

01:17:58.600 I think that they're,

01:17:59.640 if,

01:18:00.140 especially if their parents were immigrants or their second generation,

01:18:02.360 it's that they just,

01:18:04.340 it's like they're here to achieve.

01:18:08.740 Right.

01:18:09.260 And improve their lives and like emotion.

01:18:12.440 And I don't care.

01:18:13.600 That's not a concern.

01:18:15.300 Yeah.

01:18:15.580 Emotions.

01:18:16.160 I wonder if emotion is more of a white thing.

01:18:18.500 Maybe.

01:18:19.040 I mean,

01:18:19.360 it's,

01:18:19.620 it's,

01:18:19.980 yeah,

01:18:20.540 it's a,

01:18:21.000 I also think like as much as your,

01:18:25.500 uh,

01:18:26.200 I think it's okay.

01:18:29.300 I think some people are more sensitive than others.

01:18:31.800 Right.

01:18:32.260 You're a sensitive guy.

01:18:34.200 I'm a sensitive person.

01:18:35.800 Yeah.

01:18:36.340 I think that there are sensitive.

01:18:37.880 I think Bobby's sensitive too,

01:18:39.500 but he just doesn't,

01:18:41.040 he just is like,

01:18:41.820 doesn't shoving it and punching it.

01:18:43.680 And like,

01:18:44.460 ah,

01:18:45.040 just like,

01:18:46.220 I think it's okay to be sensitive.

01:18:48.220 Yeah.

01:18:48.700 Uh,

01:18:49.140 it's,

01:18:49.540 it is,

01:18:50.280 I,

01:18:50.680 yeah,

01:18:50.820 it's an elective.

01:18:51.760 It's a,

01:18:52.220 it's a,

01:18:52.760 it's a luxury item for certain people,

01:18:54.780 but I don't think that,

01:18:55.740 I think you've been sensitive since you were dead broke.

01:18:59.480 Yeah.

01:19:00.420 Yeah.

01:19:01.200 And it probably felt that,

01:19:02.980 and you thought it was because of that.

01:19:04.460 And it's like,

01:19:05.020 no,

01:19:05.160 you're just like that.

01:19:06.260 Yeah.

01:19:06.820 Yeah.

01:19:07.040 That's a good point too.

01:19:08.020 Just realizing some of that,

01:19:09.120 some things are disposition.

01:19:10.040 Like you said,

01:19:10.660 yeah,

01:19:10.800 and I'm okay.

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01:22:42.840 And now back to the episode.

01:22:45.560 Yeah.

01:22:45.920 Do you think that you're having an old dad?

01:22:49.780 What do you think that,

01:22:50.540 how do you think that affected you?

01:22:53.140 Um,

01:22:53.900 I think it made me a lot of shame when I really look back at it a little bit in some ways.

01:22:58.440 Sometimes I think genetically,

01:22:59.600 like,

01:22:59.980 do I have real old genes,

01:23:01.360 you know,

01:23:01.660 like if I'll rest or if I'll be real,

01:23:04.440 you know,

01:23:04.740 if I'll lay down and like,

01:23:05.980 kind of make a name,

01:23:07.040 say something real loud or like,

01:23:08.980 you know,

01:23:10.420 talk about God or something and lean back in my chair or something like that.

01:23:13.400 Like my dad used to do that kind of stuff.

01:23:16.000 If,

01:23:16.300 uh,

01:23:18.020 um,

01:23:20.140 yeah,

01:23:20.660 I wonder if my genes are just real old,

01:23:22.440 you know,

01:23:22.860 I'm not that great.

01:23:23.620 You know,

01:23:23.840 I'm not bad at sex,

01:23:25.180 but I've never really been like a real,

01:23:27.960 I'm kind of like the Indiana Pacers of sex,

01:23:30.660 you know?

01:23:30.800 Go on.

01:23:31.500 And so it's like,

01:23:33.680 yeah,

01:23:34.040 like you make the playoffs.

01:23:35.320 Yeah,

01:23:35.640 sometimes,

01:23:36.520 but it's not,

01:23:37.480 you're not going deep in the playoffs.

01:23:38.980 Yeah.

01:23:39.700 You're not going past the first round.

01:23:41.260 No,

01:23:41.540 I'm not going past.

01:23:42.060 Since Reggie Miller left,

01:23:43.180 it just hasn't been.

01:23:44.600 Yeah.

01:23:45.040 And even then we were just shooting three points.

01:23:46.800 Yeah,

01:23:47.000 exactly.

01:23:47.380 Yeah.

01:23:47.540 Boring,

01:23:48.020 slow pace.

01:23:48.880 Yeah.

01:23:49.120 Just not getting up and down the court.

01:23:50.660 Yeah.

01:23:50.940 Hopeful,

01:23:51.340 good white audience,

01:23:52.380 but not really.

01:23:52.800 You have a,

01:23:53.400 you do have interesting sex habits,

01:23:55.400 right?

01:23:56.180 Yeah.

01:23:56.480 I just,

01:23:56.920 for me,

01:23:57.240 I think it's all,

01:23:57.940 a lot of it just has always felt like a little bit uncomfortable.

01:23:59.980 I kind of have that perversion that came from like watching a lot of pornography.

01:24:03.340 And then just,

01:24:04.620 just the interaction,

01:24:05.940 the connection sometimes has always felt like,

01:24:08.480 I don't like having a woman sleep over.

01:24:10.340 Like some of those things make me extremely nervous.

01:24:12.580 Like just.

01:24:13.800 Well,

01:24:14.120 sometimes,

01:24:14.600 I mean,

01:24:14.980 it's,

01:24:15.600 you know what the,

01:24:16.460 it's a real obvious thing to say,

01:24:18.500 but it's,

01:24:19.200 it's real intimate.

01:24:21.300 Yeah,

01:24:21.840 it is.

01:24:22.220 It's real.

01:24:22.920 I mean,

01:24:23.140 even if you're just talking about like their face is right there.

01:24:26.720 Yeah.

01:24:27.300 Like your fucking faces to fuck.

01:24:30.060 Like we're both here.

01:24:32.360 Yeah.

01:24:32.680 Especially if you're not drunk.

01:24:34.580 Oh yeah.

01:24:35.600 It's really like Nikki Glaser has been doing a whole thing about having sober sex.

01:24:40.120 And it's like,

01:24:40.840 that's for children,

01:24:41.540 man.

01:24:41.680 Sober sex is for children.

01:24:42.580 I've always thought that you're going to fuck sober,

01:24:45.360 bro.

01:24:45.540 Be young.

01:24:46.160 Be 10.

01:24:46.820 Oh yeah.

01:24:47.480 Be 10,

01:24:48.280 be 11,

01:24:49.040 bro.

01:24:49.200 By the way,

01:24:50.500 I,

01:24:50.800 this is,

01:24:51.460 I got to an argument online last week.

01:24:53.060 Do you know that there's no minimum age for sex?

01:24:57.720 Two eight year olds can legally have sex.

01:24:59.820 Oh wow.

01:25:00.440 Isn't that crazy?

01:25:02.360 It gets into illegal,

01:25:04.160 legally stuff starts happening when you turn 16,

01:25:08.500 then you actually can't,

01:25:10.940 then you have to start being responsible.

01:25:14.180 Then you can't fuck.

01:25:15.820 And nine year old can legally fuck a six year old.

01:25:19.200 Wow.

01:25:19.660 If they're both consenting.

01:25:21.040 Right.

01:25:21.820 Damn,

01:25:22.220 that was crazy.

01:25:22.900 Isn't that fucking mind blowing?

01:25:25.280 But once you turn 16,

01:25:26.720 then you,

01:25:27.260 then you have like,

01:25:28.320 you have a license basically.

01:25:30.220 Damn.

01:25:30.420 And you can't,

01:25:31.660 you,

01:25:31.940 you can't go below 16 or you can go below,

01:25:35.080 you can go three years below.

01:25:36.540 Yeah.

01:25:36.800 Yeah.

01:25:37.000 That was a big thing when I was growing up,

01:25:38.440 like seeing if somebody was three years older or three years younger,

01:25:40.780 you'd always hear things and people date.

01:25:43.360 And yeah,

01:25:44.640 you always had that dude that would pull over by the middle school and he drove

01:25:47.360 already and he'd come back and see his fucking girl.

01:25:49.200 My girlfriend and handsome McDonald's over the fence.

01:25:51.960 Uh huh.

01:25:52.540 Oh dude,

01:25:53.280 this one guy fucking handed somebody,

01:25:54.940 he drove like his banana yellow Cutlass and he handed some fucking

01:25:57.640 McDonald's over the fence to his girlfriend who was easily about 13 years

01:26:01.400 younger than him.

01:26:03.160 How did,

01:26:03.580 did she look?

01:26:04.200 was she good?

01:26:05.780 Like,

01:26:06.060 was she,

01:26:06.360 she was thick,

01:26:07.400 she was thick.

01:26:08.880 Yeah.

01:26:09.100 But they,

01:26:09.360 they misplaced that for age a lot of times in rural communities,

01:26:12.180 you know?

01:26:12.720 Yeah.

01:26:13.140 Like,

01:26:13.420 damn,

01:26:13.680 that's how old she is.

01:26:14.600 Well,

01:26:14.780 it's like,

01:26:15.240 it's like farming.

01:26:16.640 Yeah.

01:26:16.940 You know what I mean?

01:26:17.380 Like she's a,

01:26:18.460 she's,

01:26:19.000 she's ready.

01:26:20.140 She's read,

01:26:20.840 she's ready.

01:26:22.000 It's like,

01:26:22.520 there's great.

01:26:23.100 She's a cat.

01:26:24.020 She's not a calf anymore.

01:26:25.260 Yeah.

01:26:25.780 So let's,

01:26:26.880 let's go.

01:26:27.600 Yeah.

01:26:27.780 Let's play ball.

01:26:28.680 Let's get a fucking family pack of runts and fuck.

01:26:31.440 Yeah.

01:26:32.360 Um,

01:26:33.540 so,

01:26:34.220 so yeah,

01:26:34.680 that's the,

01:26:35.360 uh,

01:26:35.700 but this dude floored at one time he was trying to show off in his

01:26:39.100 whole,

01:26:39.600 uh,

01:26:40.480 catalytic converter just fell off the bottom of his car.

01:26:42.740 And I just remember being,

01:26:43.520 you know about cars?

01:26:44.500 Absolutely hilarious.

01:26:45.360 Not that much.

01:26:45.960 I know about catalytic converters and I know about pouring like a

01:26:48.820 little bit of gas up there in the carburetor.

01:26:50.680 If that bitch won't start.

01:26:51.760 Is that,

01:26:52.260 is that true?

01:26:53.200 That's an old trick.

01:26:53.700 Yeah.

01:26:53.900 And I like,

01:26:54.700 I liked cars better when it was just like the engine and the

01:26:57.400 motor,

01:26:57.980 you know?

01:26:58.980 I don't know the difference.

01:27:01.740 I don't know if I do either,

01:27:02.760 but I think one of them is the transmission.

01:27:05.020 You lift up the hood.

01:27:06.180 There was two pieces there in that air filter thing.

01:27:09.240 There was the crank.

01:27:10.640 Yeah.

01:27:10.980 Cause you're from 1940.

01:27:13.400 And you'd spray WD 40 in that fucking air filter and let that

01:27:16.480 bitch.

01:27:16.620 I don't know shit.

01:27:17.620 Like that's where I don't feel like a man is when car stuff

01:27:20.980 happens.

01:27:21.340 I'm like,

01:27:21.760 I,

01:27:22.120 I don't know.

01:27:23.420 Well now you drive a fucking,

01:27:24.760 well now I don't need to know.

01:27:25.720 Yeah.

01:27:25.860 You drive Elon Musk.

01:27:27.080 Yeah.

01:27:27.360 I just plug her in.

01:27:29.500 Y'all got a outlet.

01:27:31.060 That's way better.

01:27:31.980 That is nice.

01:27:32.940 Is it?

01:27:33.380 Just,

01:27:33.660 well,

01:27:33.820 yeah,

01:27:33.940 just go like,

01:27:34.520 I don't need to know.

01:27:36.280 I just,

01:27:37.180 I only go to the gas station to wipe the,

01:27:39.400 for the wipers.

01:27:40.440 Yeah.

01:27:41.040 Fucking great.

01:27:41.780 And it's weird.

01:27:43.260 Yeah.

01:27:43.400 I guess feeling emotional and also then feeling,

01:27:45.480 I guess feeling like emotional about shit or talking about that kind of

01:27:48.120 stuff,

01:27:48.400 but then also feeling like a,

01:27:49.760 you can still feel like a man.

01:27:50.940 You're like,

01:27:51.140 I still do like,

01:27:52.380 you know,

01:27:52.840 I'll do like insane shit at the gym and do insane training and I'll

01:27:56.460 fucking probably endanger myself a pretty good amount of time.

01:27:59.560 You know,

01:28:00.400 I think you,

01:28:01.100 you work out still.

01:28:02.480 Yeah.

01:28:02.660 I just started getting a trainer.

01:28:03.680 I'm really getting pretty much into it.

01:28:04.940 I'm trying to start taking some Brazilian jujitsu.

01:28:07.720 Yeah.

01:28:08.080 So yeah,

01:28:08.760 just to have like a,

01:28:10.200 it just seems so cool.

01:28:11.660 Just seems like a,

01:28:13.940 just to have another circle of camaraderie really.

01:28:16.340 Yeah.

01:28:17.120 I,

01:28:17.540 it's also boxing.

01:28:18.680 I did like Thai boxing in Thailand one time.

01:28:21.440 I was like,

01:28:21.660 this is fun.

01:28:22.820 I could see you being a Thai boxer.

01:28:24.700 He's got that physique,

01:28:25.540 doesn't he?

01:28:25.960 Yeah.

01:28:26.480 Throwing combinations is like,

01:28:28.960 that's fucking fun.

01:28:30.220 Bing,

01:28:30.420 bing,

01:28:30.620 bing,

01:28:30.960 duck.

01:28:32.680 It's fucking fun.

01:28:34.060 Yeah.

01:28:34.680 And is being able to know that if somebody attacks me and they don't know

01:28:37.640 Brazilian jujitsu that I would know enough couple of tricks to be able to.

01:28:40.640 Now the hard part is not doing it all the time in conversation.

01:28:46.220 Oh,

01:28:46.720 right.

01:28:46.840 Cause that's the thing.

01:28:47.680 Just start.

01:28:48.100 Like bro,

01:28:48.860 did I learn this thing today?

01:28:50.460 Yeah.

01:28:50.680 And you fucking,

01:28:51.740 I'm not,

01:28:52.520 no disrespect to Brian Callen.

01:28:54.200 Yeah.

01:28:54.800 He always does that.

01:28:56.640 The second things get uncomfortable,

01:28:58.400 he puts somebody in a headlock.

01:28:59.660 Yeah.

01:29:00.240 Like,

01:29:00.760 no,

01:29:00.980 I could see the thing with me.

01:29:04.220 You don't want to be one.

01:29:05.420 It's like when you start working out and you,

01:29:07.320 you're flexing for people.

01:29:09.120 Yeah.

01:29:09.500 Oh yeah.

01:29:09.780 And you're kidding,

01:29:10.640 but you're not,

01:29:11.420 you're not kidding.

01:29:12.640 Yeah.

01:29:12.820 Some girl,

01:29:13.360 right when she would touch your arm,

01:29:14.380 you would flex right before.

01:29:16.000 Yep.

01:29:16.440 Oh,

01:29:17.020 absolutely.

01:29:17.840 That's crazy.

01:29:19.260 Yeah.

01:29:19.680 So I'm glad that you,

01:29:21.440 and thank you for not posting workout videos.

01:29:23.640 Oh yeah.

01:29:24.160 You bet.

01:29:24.500 I try not to,

01:29:25.380 but ever since Chris D'Elia does,

01:29:26.860 sometimes I think about fucking throwing one up.

01:29:28.880 We can't fall for it.

01:29:30.700 I feel like Kevin Hart started this.

01:29:32.760 Oh,

01:29:32.920 did he really?

01:29:33.380 Does he do it?

01:29:34.220 He started,

01:29:35.100 he would,

01:29:35.440 he shows all,

01:29:36.180 he does a lot of training videos.

01:29:38.200 Does he have writers probably for his jokes and stuff now?

01:29:40.860 Kevin,

01:29:41.520 he has the guys who open for him,

01:29:44.180 the red plastic cup boys,

01:29:45.640 but they don't,

01:29:46.900 it's all based on shit that happened to him.

01:29:49.900 So it's not,

01:29:51.280 I don't think he has writers really.

01:29:52.660 I think he,

01:29:53.120 maybe they go maybe like a tag here and there.

01:29:55.940 Yeah.

01:29:56.220 But he doesn't have writers as far as I know.

01:29:59.220 He has people that he's with.

01:30:00.900 Yeah.

01:30:01.480 How are you doing?

01:30:02.660 Are you,

01:30:02.980 did you figure out how you're going to do your special?

01:30:05.200 I'm not sure yet.

01:30:06.680 Still not sure.

01:30:07.780 Well,

01:30:08.000 we don't have any offers really that I feel like are,

01:30:11.560 you know,

01:30:13.560 that I feel like are the move really.

01:30:16.440 Part of me thinks about shooting it and just putting clips out onto YouTube.

01:30:19.900 Like,

01:30:20.320 you know,

01:30:20.620 just putting the stories out on YouTube and putting out a CD,

01:30:24.240 you know,

01:30:24.400 an album,

01:30:24.820 just owning it.

01:30:25.660 Yep.

01:30:26.100 And then,

01:30:27.480 but then possibly doing Netflix,

01:30:29.760 they're going to come out in December.

01:30:32.040 Come to you.

01:30:32.740 On December 10th and see me.

01:30:33.840 And so I think,

01:30:35.780 you know,

01:30:36.080 there might,

01:30:36.380 there might be an offer after that.

01:30:37.840 It's just also a time schedule when they have room.

01:30:40.640 Yeah.

01:30:41.040 They said it might not be until the 2021.

01:30:43.640 So then that makes me think,

01:30:44.800 well,

01:30:44.880 at that point I might as well just put some clips or something.

01:30:47.020 Like I want to have some fresh stuff out there.

01:30:48.660 And also for me to just in my brain to start to move on.

01:30:51.440 Yeah.

01:30:51.860 Cause I'm already building like a new hour.

01:30:53.420 It does get kind of tough doing some of the same stuff.

01:30:56.760 Like jokes kind of have like a point where they're like at their peak.

01:31:01.180 You know,

01:31:01.760 it's fun.

01:31:02.400 Chappelle,

01:31:02.920 you say jokes are like tires where it's like the,

01:31:06.320 just the treads wear out.

01:31:07.580 Yeah.

01:31:07.800 And he's right.

01:31:10.420 Cause when you first,

01:31:12.460 it's that disappointing thing.

01:31:13.720 When you have a good new joke,

01:31:15.100 that first two weeks,

01:31:16.780 that shit is fucking popping.

01:31:19.740 Fucking like they know the audience knows it's new.

01:31:22.740 Yeah.

01:31:23.000 It's like having money at the mall.

01:31:24.640 It's the best new joke.

01:31:26.220 I would say it's like finding money or pie.

01:31:27.680 It's like,

01:31:27.980 and then,

01:31:29.480 and then after two weeks it'll settle.

01:31:32.000 Yeah.

01:31:32.440 It'll just go to like,

01:31:33.720 all right,

01:31:33.940 this is what this is going to get now from here on out.

01:31:36.900 And then after a while it goes down another level and it's to your point,

01:31:42.620 getting shooting a joke at the right time,

01:31:46.440 filming it at the right time is like,

01:31:49.200 you don't want to wait too long.

01:31:51.280 Yeah.

01:31:51.940 Cause something about it,

01:31:53.360 even if they haven't heard it,

01:31:54.960 it just doesn't have the,

01:31:56.520 the fucking energy.

01:31:59.800 Yeah.

01:32:00.220 That's kind of what I'm realizing too.

01:32:01.680 It's like,

01:32:01.940 and a lot of this is just learning as you go.

01:32:03.660 It's like,

01:32:04.000 that's the tough part.

01:32:04.780 It's like,

01:32:05.100 man,

01:32:05.440 I wish some of all this stuff I already knew it,

01:32:08.200 but you know,

01:32:10.020 but that's my experience and it's just,

01:32:11.860 you know,

01:32:12.100 and also shoot it now.

01:32:13.680 And you know,

01:32:14.760 the great thing is if you're already writing a new hour,

01:32:18.200 the good,

01:32:19.100 the,

01:32:19.360 you have a,

01:32:20.620 you,

01:32:20.920 there's a hundred cities now where you could sell out.

01:32:24.460 Right.

01:32:24.840 That's the thing too.

01:32:25.500 It's hard to stop.

01:32:26.320 It's hard to stop going to cities whenever you have an hour that people haven't

01:32:28.840 seen.

01:32:29.380 Yeah.

01:32:29.760 Because it's Segura.

01:32:31.340 I feel like has toured this hour for so long and it's,

01:32:34.640 it's legitimately because they,

01:32:37.360 they're cities he hasn't gone to.

01:32:38.960 Yeah.

01:32:39.520 And he's probably tired.

01:32:40.960 D'Elia said he threw out like 40 minutes on this tour because he was doing

01:32:46.520 the tour so long that he wrote new jokes and just replaced the other ones.

01:32:52.360 Yeah.

01:32:52.680 So he could have gone back to some of the cities with a new hour on the same

01:32:57.240 tour.

01:32:57.740 Yeah.

01:32:58.100 That's where I'm at.

01:32:58.840 I'm feeling like,

01:32:59.540 well,

01:33:00.180 shoot,

01:33:00.460 do I just keep adding places?

01:33:02.300 Cause I've been touring the same stuff for almost a year and a half.

01:33:04.720 I mean,

01:33:04.800 it's definitely evolved and changed,

01:33:06.540 but,

01:33:07.460 and there's new stuff now I could put in,

01:33:09.480 but I'm like,

01:33:09.800 I don't know what to do.

01:33:10.600 Do I just start putting in new stuff?

01:33:12.000 I'd save it.

01:33:12.580 If I were you,

01:33:13.200 I'd save it and just start a new tour.

01:33:14.820 Cause it seems like Bert did that.

01:33:16.840 Bert's got it.

01:33:17.520 Bert just finished one tour and he's starting another one.

01:33:19.880 Yeah.

01:33:20.060 I would,

01:33:22.060 if you have a new more time,

01:33:25.020 fuck it.

01:33:25.960 Like if you have new shit,

01:33:27.400 that's not topical or like,

01:33:29.900 it's not about some shit that's happening now.

01:33:32.200 It's if it's just a story or fuck it.

01:33:34.820 Yeah.

01:33:35.420 Like,

01:33:35.860 and then just work on that on the,

01:33:38.400 during the week.

01:33:38.900 And then on weekends do the,

01:33:40.560 do like the,

01:33:41.280 the tour show.

01:33:42.320 Yeah.

01:33:43.440 Yeah.

01:33:43.900 It's,

01:33:44.080 I think,

01:33:44.420 I think that's the,

01:33:45.780 I think also,

01:33:46.740 yeah,

01:33:46.920 this year I got tough to trust in my instincts and knowing like what was the

01:33:49.960 right thing to do.

01:33:50.700 And like,

01:33:51.080 you know,

01:33:51.280 different things were coming in and I'm like,

01:33:53.140 is this right?

01:33:53.780 I don't know what to do.

01:33:55.280 You know?

01:33:55.880 Yeah.

01:33:56.160 Just a lot of fear this year.

01:33:57.280 I think it made everything tough.

01:33:58.520 It made it like I was all ready to kind of shoot my special at Christmas.

01:34:01.280 And then next thing you know,

01:34:03.080 it was like,

01:34:03.380 Oh,

01:34:03.500 well there's a bunch more cities you can go to and you can,

01:34:06.400 you know,

01:34:06.900 and you can make money.

01:34:07.740 And then it was like nervous making money.

01:34:09.600 I felt like,

01:34:10.220 what do I do?

01:34:11.360 What do you do with money?

01:34:13.360 Not that much.

01:34:14.160 Really?

01:34:14.640 You know,

01:34:14.880 I do Postmates.

01:34:15.560 You don't have to do anything.

01:34:16.980 That's the thing.

01:34:17.580 People think you got to do something with it.

01:34:19.160 You don't.

01:34:19.960 Yeah.

01:34:20.160 I really haven't done anything.

01:34:21.420 Yeah.

01:34:21.820 I mean,

01:34:22.080 I've done post,

01:34:22.860 I do Postmates more.

01:34:23.780 Yeah.

01:34:24.040 Yeah.

01:34:24.160 You fucking,

01:34:24.780 you've ordered the shit out.

01:34:25.680 Oh dude,

01:34:26.460 I get these tacos twice a week probably.

01:34:28.940 And then what else?

01:34:30.240 Yeah,

01:34:30.540 probably not that much.

01:34:31.980 Honestly,

01:34:32.280 I don't like going to shop for stuff and I don't like doing that kind of stuff.

01:34:34.860 I don't either.

01:34:35.500 I don't like like stuff.

01:34:38.180 It just doesn't mean that much to me.

01:34:39.780 Like,

01:34:40.040 I don't like people take pictures of their shoes and I'm just like,

01:34:43.980 yeah,

01:34:44.900 I could,

01:34:45.580 but I don't know.

01:34:46.180 It just doesn't,

01:34:46.800 I don't,

01:34:47.720 it doesn't move me.

01:34:48.840 Yeah,

01:34:48.980 it doesn't move me.

01:34:50.300 So I don't know.

01:34:50.840 That's good in terms of like,

01:34:51.820 you probably won't be broke.

01:34:53.380 Yeah.

01:34:53.880 Pay my mom's rent now.

01:34:55.660 And that's got to feel awesome.

01:34:58.020 It's nice to know she doesn't have to worry.

01:34:59.560 She works hard.

01:35:00.240 She's like 77 or something.

01:35:01.700 And she's still like,

01:35:02.460 you know,

01:35:02.800 delivers stuff.

01:35:03.860 And yeah,

01:35:06.340 it is nice to know that she can take the day off or something she wants to

01:35:09.500 and not have to fucking think about paying something.

01:35:12.220 That's got to be,

01:35:13.720 that's got to,

01:35:14.600 that's like,

01:35:15.960 got to feel outstanding.

01:35:20.240 Yeah.

01:35:20.660 It's tough.

01:35:21.260 Cause our relationship is a little tough.

01:35:22.560 Yeah.

01:35:23.440 What's the,

01:35:24.100 how's the relationship?

01:35:25.140 Can you talk about it?

01:35:25.920 I never,

01:35:26.740 I've always had a tough time hearing my mother,

01:35:29.740 you know,

01:35:30.020 I felt like,

01:35:32.040 I don't know.

01:35:34.160 I just have always had a little,

01:35:35.540 like,

01:35:35.940 uh,

01:35:36.260 I think,

01:35:38.320 you know,

01:35:38.720 sometimes I think the reason I do comedy is cause I wanted my mom to laugh

01:35:41.400 or something.

01:35:41.740 I was young and I couldn't get her to laugh.

01:35:43.360 Yeah.

01:35:43.680 And so I,

01:35:44.840 it like spun out into this weird thing where that's what I was doing,

01:35:49.480 you know?

01:35:49.900 Cause I remember my dad laughing all the time,

01:35:51.860 but I never met.

01:35:52.940 At you?

01:35:54.240 Yeah.

01:35:54.540 Or just in general.

01:35:55.400 Yeah.

01:35:55.640 Just laughing.

01:35:56.380 Just having a good time.

01:35:58.020 Having a good,

01:35:58.660 having a good time.

01:35:59.880 Yeah.

01:36:00.400 And then I don't remember my mother having that at all.

01:36:03.180 And I think there was always like this stress that she was stressed and I

01:36:06.720 couldn't do anything.

01:36:08.100 You know,

01:36:08.580 I was just so incapable.

01:36:09.420 That's the,

01:36:10.240 the,

01:36:10.740 the,

01:36:11.020 I've seen study.

01:36:12.900 A lot of comedians is about making your mom laugh.

01:36:15.520 Yeah.

01:36:15.820 That's a big one.

01:36:16.680 As much as it's like,

01:36:17.600 we're sad clowns and all that stuff.

01:36:19.200 It's a lot of it's sad children.

01:36:22.260 Children of sad moms.

01:36:23.840 Yeah.

01:36:24.240 A lot.

01:36:24.780 Honestly,

01:36:25.220 a lot of times that's the formula for comedians.

01:36:28.040 That should be a club.

01:36:29.360 Yeah.

01:36:29.940 Children with sad mom.

01:36:30.820 My mom's not sad.

01:36:32.060 My mom is,

01:36:33.020 uh,

01:36:33.840 I always felt like there's like plexiglass between us.

01:36:37.940 Like,

01:36:40.900 ah,

01:36:42.020 like I want a fucking more of a connection and we just can't get there.

01:36:47.320 Yeah.

01:36:47.640 Like we just can't.

01:36:49.680 It just doesn't.

01:36:51.040 That's not,

01:36:51.760 she doesn't know how to do it.

01:36:52.960 Yeah.

01:36:53.320 She's a good mom.

01:36:54.540 Yeah.

01:36:54.660 She was like,

01:36:55.160 did the,

01:36:55.680 you know,

01:36:55.900 like,

01:36:56.640 like attentive and all that stuff just emotionally.

01:36:59.680 And that's the,

01:37:01.260 that's another generational thing where my mom's 85.

01:37:04.880 So yeah,

01:37:05.840 like I don't,

01:37:07.460 she doesn't know like emotion.

01:37:08.780 The fuck are you talking about?

01:37:09.900 Yeah.

01:37:10.640 Like,

01:37:10.920 yeah,

01:37:11.020 we can't really think about that kind of born in 19.

01:37:13.060 She's born during the great depression.

01:37:16.460 1933.

01:37:16.860 Like I don't,

01:37:17.700 her mom died when she was three.

01:37:19.640 Wow.

01:37:20.140 Like she got split up.

01:37:22.480 Like one of her sisters went to Ireland and then they couldn't pick her up

01:37:29.060 because of the war.

01:37:30.640 Yeah.

01:37:31.960 Yeah.

01:37:32.360 We're not coming this week.

01:37:33.700 We're not coming this week.

01:37:34.740 Yeah.

01:37:35.040 Those U-boats.

01:37:37.420 Can you imagine that though?

01:37:38.720 All the time,

01:37:39.440 especially on Unsolved Mysteries,

01:37:40.380 you see all these families just got split up.

01:37:43.240 We had four kids.

01:37:44.020 We couldn't afford it.

01:37:45.260 The orphanage is just like,

01:37:46.860 like my mom's mom died and then she had two sisters,

01:37:50.600 maybe three and each uncle took a different one or each aunt took a

01:37:56.320 different one.

01:37:56.920 But meanwhile,

01:37:57.260 the dad was still alive.

01:37:59.620 They just were like,

01:38:00.800 yeah,

01:38:01.340 yeah,

01:38:01.480 we're not leaving.

01:38:01.820 That's insane.

01:38:03.280 Yeah,

01:38:03.900 this is a hill.

01:38:04.600 They'll be dead in a week.

01:38:05.680 We're leaving with a guy.

01:38:07.160 So they went to the aunts and then the dad was like,

01:38:10.680 I'm getting ready.

01:38:12.280 And I was like,

01:38:13.060 mom,

01:38:13.300 how long did he need to get ready for?

01:38:15.280 And it,

01:38:16.020 he never really got it together.

01:38:17.360 Wow.

01:38:18.060 Yeah.

01:38:18.700 And then he remarried like his may just crazy fucking thirties and forties

01:38:24.100 shit.

01:38:24.380 But so,

01:38:26.140 and then I'm like,

01:38:27.080 where's the feelings?

01:38:29.280 But why is there blessing?

01:38:32.160 Cause the fucking Hitler and the great depression.

01:38:37.120 That's why you fucking child.

01:38:40.820 Yeah.

01:38:41.240 That's a thing.

01:38:42.260 Spoiled brat.

01:38:42.920 That's what I realized a lot of times too,

01:38:44.360 man.

01:38:44.520 And I think about that too,

01:38:45.380 about myself,

01:38:45.840 man,

01:38:46.020 I'm just a fucking brat.

01:38:47.820 Like,

01:38:47.940 yeah,

01:38:48.280 at some point it's like,

01:38:49.340 fuck.

01:38:49.640 I also have to realize,

01:38:50.560 look,

01:38:50.760 dude,

01:38:51.440 you have to just fucking take care of yourself.

01:38:54.240 You have to find a way to do it.

01:38:55.840 You can't think at a certain point,

01:38:57.220 you can't think about all this shit too much.

01:38:59.340 It's a pro it's a life's a plan of a program of action.

01:39:02.200 You got to take action and get yourself feeling good.

01:39:05.420 You got to get yourself doing something.

01:39:07.020 You have to just get going,

01:39:08.580 you know?

01:39:09.800 Yeah.

01:39:10.160 It's crazy to think sometimes that yeah,

01:39:13.480 our parents who probably had no whose parents to them probably didn't teach them much about

01:39:17.480 emotions or anything at all.

01:39:18.880 The Rockefellers probably had emotions,

01:39:20.780 bro.

01:39:21.560 They,

01:39:21.860 they were fucking all out of their minds too.

01:39:24.660 Yeah.

01:39:25.160 They like the Rockefellers doing coke,

01:39:27.680 like no,

01:39:28.440 the Rockefellers parent,

01:39:29.840 John Rockefeller's dad was probably a fucking coal miner.

01:39:33.560 Yeah.

01:39:34.040 There wasn't well,

01:39:35.900 you know what I mean?

01:39:36.400 Like they,

01:39:36.880 there wasn't like crazy,

01:39:38.640 like three people were rich.

01:39:40.500 Yeah.

01:39:41.140 Everybody else fucking lived in Appalachia.

01:39:43.820 Yeah.

01:39:45.100 I mean,

01:39:45.700 not literally,

01:39:46.460 but like there was no like,

01:39:47.900 well,

01:39:48.040 there was a robust middle class.

01:39:49.880 I don't know.

01:39:50.820 Life was fucking brutal.

01:39:52.340 Everyone's shit in an outhouse.

01:39:54.680 Like even if you were there,

01:39:56.700 there's this book called sapiens.

01:39:58.020 It's really good,

01:39:58.480 but they were,

01:39:58.900 the guy was saying like there were French French,

01:40:03.280 like the king of,

01:40:04.560 we live better than the king of France from 1700.

01:40:07.440 Wow.

01:40:08.340 Wow.

01:40:09.200 The king of France from 1700 shat outside.

01:40:13.000 Damn.

01:40:13.680 No,

01:40:14.360 and didn't have heat.

01:40:15.680 He had somebody to carry it out there for him.

01:40:17.440 Yeah.

01:40:17.740 No,

01:40:18.020 he had help.

01:40:19.240 He ain't going by him by himself,

01:40:21.160 but he didn't have a fucking,

01:40:24.420 there was no indoor heat,

01:40:25.720 no indoor air.

01:40:26.720 There was no,

01:40:27.960 no car,

01:40:28.940 no like nothing.

01:40:30.760 So no ice,

01:40:31.840 no ice,

01:40:32.880 Theo.

01:40:33.880 Jeez.

01:40:34.360 So,

01:40:35.020 so,

01:40:35.740 uh,

01:40:36.500 we have it good,

01:40:37.720 but at the same time,

01:40:38.340 it's not perfect.

01:40:39.420 Yeah.

01:40:40.340 Damn.

01:40:40.880 Yeah.

01:40:41.060 You'd have somebody whose body's numbers was a little lower,

01:40:43.280 just blow on you all day.

01:40:45.660 Yeah.

01:40:46.100 Just bring in the coolant and he would blow on it.

01:40:50.360 Yeah.

01:40:50.560 Like we don't,

01:40:51.440 we,

01:40:51.700 it's hard,

01:40:53.020 but problems are problems.

01:40:54.500 Problems are relative.

01:40:55.260 Right.

01:40:55.460 So as much as you're,

01:40:56.580 as much as you are like,

01:40:59.620 as much as it's still,

01:41:00.820 if they were alive today,

01:41:01.580 they'd have the same problems we have.

01:41:02.820 Yeah.

01:41:03.220 Which is,

01:41:03.780 I don't feel quite right.

01:41:05.080 I don't feel,

01:41:05.600 I feel isolated.

01:41:06.540 I feel alienated.

01:41:07.300 I feel emotionally.

01:41:08.300 I feel whatever.

01:41:09.900 All the things that we deal with.

01:41:12.540 That's our version of shitting outside.

01:41:14.740 Yeah.

01:41:15.300 Yeah.

01:41:15.500 It's our version of sitting outside.

01:41:17.100 And the problem,

01:41:17.580 but the,

01:41:17.940 but then the,

01:41:18.500 the part that we can control is how do we,

01:41:22.080 what do we do about it?

01:41:23.160 Yeah.

01:41:23.660 Take an action or not take an action.

01:41:25.120 Yeah.

01:41:25.400 And I think,

01:41:26.040 yeah,

01:41:26.220 for me this year,

01:41:26.840 I just got caught in a place where I wasn't,

01:41:29.020 everything else was too much and I wasn't able to focus on that at all.

01:41:32.440 And so now I'm like a little bit back to focusing on it and it's definitely

01:41:35.320 getting more manageable.

01:41:36.680 Nick,

01:41:37.080 you had something about donkeys.

01:41:38.040 I have to text my sponsor real quick or he's going to fucking.

01:41:41.700 Yeah,

01:41:42.120 we had,

01:41:42.400 we had a couple of news stories.

01:41:43.900 One,

01:41:44.300 you guys talked about China a lot.

01:41:46.240 The world's donkey population,

01:41:48.500 is set to be halved in the next five years because it's a good traditional

01:41:54.400 Chinese medicine that is being used.

01:41:57.040 It's estimated that 4.8 million donkey hides a year are used for a gelatin

01:42:03.080 based medicine that the Chinese use.

01:42:06.600 Well,

01:42:06.780 the thing that I don't know if it was in the news here,

01:42:08.720 they're also harvesting organs over there in China.

01:42:11.960 Yeah.

01:42:12.460 Well,

01:42:12.620 you'd have to at a certain point.

01:42:13.940 I mean,

01:42:14.080 anything becomes like a,

01:42:15.340 everything becomes a food,

01:42:16.580 you know,

01:42:16.720 here we call it a delicacy.

01:42:17.460 They're not eating them.

01:42:18.800 They're prisoners.

01:42:20.120 They're killing prisoners and taking their organs.

01:42:22.520 Damn,

01:42:22.980 bro.

01:42:23.260 Damn.

01:42:24.420 You don't have to do that.

01:42:25.900 What video game is this on?

01:42:27.680 No,

01:42:28.100 I'm serious.

01:42:29.620 Yeah.

01:42:30.220 There you go.

01:42:31.500 Harvesting organs.

01:42:33.120 China resort.

01:42:33.980 Harvesting organs.

01:42:35.160 Oh,

01:42:35.600 but dude,

01:42:36.580 for transplant.

01:42:37.720 Look,

01:42:37.980 here's what I say.

01:42:38.680 If the guy's in for life,

01:42:40.160 take his fucking liver,

01:42:41.360 bro,

01:42:41.560 and give it to somebody who can use it,

01:42:43.600 man,

01:42:43.840 I think we could get a lot more out of our prisoners sometimes.

01:42:47.080 That we're underusing them.

01:42:48.620 That's there.

01:42:49.040 It's a great resource that we're not.

01:42:51.100 Yeah.

01:42:51.300 The guy's in there with two lungs and somebody,

01:42:53.720 you know,

01:42:54.320 we got somebody who's going to die a cystic fibrosis,

01:42:56.640 fucking pull a hair bag out of that cat and throw them into somebody who can use it.

01:43:00.700 And you're willing to go on the right.

01:43:02.240 This is going to be,

01:43:02.980 this is going to be your platform for running for mayor.

01:43:06.160 Sorry.

01:43:08.960 Uh,

01:43:09.240 hold on one second.

01:43:10.360 That's fine.

01:43:11.400 Uh,

01:43:11.740 yeah,

01:43:11.920 no,

01:43:12.140 they're harvesting organs.

01:43:13.160 It's not great.

01:43:14.660 Despite what Theo thinks.

01:43:16.480 Well,

01:43:16.680 I'm not saying everybody gets an organ.

01:43:18.420 I'm saying that,

01:43:19.440 you know,

01:43:21.120 you believe that rich people should get them first.

01:43:25.540 Cause that's,

01:43:26.360 but I know that's what's happening.

01:43:27.660 My sister got a liver and,

01:43:29.400 uh,

01:43:29.720 and it was definitely at a certain point.

01:43:31.140 We're like,

01:43:31.480 Oh,

01:43:31.720 what do you mean?

01:43:32.360 This person,

01:43:33.520 somebody else is getting in before us.

01:43:35.460 Yeah.

01:43:35.680 But that's,

01:43:36.260 it's cool that they're kind of,

01:43:37.700 they kind of,

01:43:38.360 it doesn't matter how rich you are.

01:43:40.320 You can't,

01:43:41.260 the,

01:43:41.440 the donor,

01:43:42.320 the list is the list.

01:43:43.700 The list is the list.

01:43:44.480 And you can't,

01:43:45.240 how did your,

01:43:45.900 is,

01:43:46.260 did it take?

01:43:46.960 Yep.

01:43:47.280 It took,

01:43:48.260 she got him.

01:43:48.740 She was like 14 and she's got that.

01:43:50.700 Yeah.

01:43:50.960 It's just take anti-rejection medicine.

01:43:52.520 Cause your body's always like,

01:43:53.760 this thing isn't yours.

01:43:55.140 You know,

01:43:55.460 it's funny.

01:43:57.040 Uh,

01:43:57.560 that's almost like what AA is for you.

01:44:03.000 Like you have to take your anti-rejection medicine.

01:44:05.300 Yeah.

01:44:06.100 Like you have to like,

01:44:07.160 your body's like,

01:44:07.780 this isn't right.

01:44:08.660 Yeah.

01:44:09.020 I don't like it.

01:44:10.000 Yeah.

01:44:10.460 You're like,

01:44:10.880 no body.

01:44:11.660 We have to go.

01:44:12.800 That's what I remember going to,

01:44:14.260 I used to go to Allen on,

01:44:15.280 which was like for not drinking.

01:44:17.360 It's for being in relationships with alcoholics and drug addicts.

01:44:19.800 Yeah.

01:44:20.300 And,

01:44:20.740 uh,

01:44:21.920 and,

01:44:22.560 um,

01:44:23.300 you,

01:44:24.180 yeah,

01:44:24.340 alcoholism so bad.

01:44:25.140 There's two programs for it as a program for if you just know people who,

01:44:29.560 who are it.

01:44:30.640 Um,

01:44:31.740 they,

01:44:32.220 uh,

01:44:32.480 but that's,

01:44:33.220 I realized like,

01:44:33.980 no,

01:44:34.100 I got to do this all the time.

01:44:35.860 I have to do this.

01:44:36.780 I ha,

01:44:37.140 I can't,

01:44:37.740 this is a chronic set of,

01:44:41.240 uh,

01:44:41.980 behavior on my part.

01:44:44.200 Like from,

01:44:45.340 from my dad was an alcoholic.

01:44:46.760 So just you build your brain in a certain way and you have to undo it.

01:44:52.200 Yeah.

01:44:52.620 Yeah,

01:44:52.820 it is.

01:44:53.060 It's a,

01:44:53.320 and it is,

01:44:53.680 it's a daily thing.

01:44:54.520 It really is,

01:44:55.280 man.

01:44:55.440 It's like,

01:44:55.860 I know if I get up and do my meditation and I do my,

01:44:58.720 uh,

01:44:59.520 gratitude list and I call other guys that are,

01:45:02.320 have the same problem,

01:45:03.260 then I will,

01:45:05.420 I have a better chance of having a better day instead of,

01:45:08.860 um,

01:45:09.240 do you call people every day?

01:45:10.300 Getting up and thinking about myself.

01:45:11.280 Yeah.

01:45:11.640 I call people every day.

01:45:12.540 The other two I've struggled with,

01:45:13.600 but now I'm getting a lot back.

01:45:14.700 I've been really just focusing on it really,

01:45:16.780 especially the past maybe month trying to get back into it.

01:45:20.260 Did you,

01:45:20.560 when you didn't feel grateful,

01:45:21.600 did you not do a gratitude list or you would just write like,

01:45:24.380 fucking just stare at the paper?

01:45:26.420 Some days.

01:45:27.060 Yeah.

01:45:27.460 Well,

01:45:27.580 I just couldn't feel it.

01:45:28.640 I would write it,

01:45:29.880 but I couldn't feel it.

01:45:31.100 Yeah.

01:45:31.460 And that was the worst,

01:45:32.640 man.

01:45:32.820 It was like,

01:45:33.180 God,

01:45:33.520 I want to feel grateful.

01:45:35.840 And I just,

01:45:36.440 and then just traveling a lot,

01:45:37.820 doing the shows and stuff.

01:45:38.700 It was just hard.

01:45:39.580 Just get on and off of planes and waking up here or there and not knowing what was going on.

01:45:44.100 Being halfway through a sentence sometimes,

01:45:45.620 like I'm so happy to be here in and thinking in my head,

01:45:48.020 what city is this?

01:45:48.920 Yeah.

01:45:49.720 Fucking alarming.

01:45:51.160 It's hard,

01:45:52.000 but that has to do with just wear and tear like that.

01:45:57.840 If you don't know what city,

01:45:59.000 it's hard to remember when you're,

01:46:01.720 you look at the schedule and you're like,

01:46:03.020 I'm going there,

01:46:03.520 then I'm going there,

01:46:04.060 then I'm going there.

01:46:04.560 And you're like,

01:46:04.960 I don't even know what week it is half the time.

01:46:07.940 You ever have the thing where you don't know what period of your life you're in?

01:46:13.360 You ever have that?

01:46:14.140 Like where you'll be like,

01:46:15.180 did I,

01:46:16.140 have I started podcasting yet?

01:46:18.580 Where you'll be on the 405 or the,

01:46:20.720 you'll be just driving and you'll be like,

01:46:22.460 where I have it sometimes where I'll go to a city and I'll be like,

01:46:25.840 have I done,

01:46:26.960 what period of my life am I in?

01:46:29.820 Yeah.

01:46:30.140 Am I 28?

01:46:31.100 Am I 28?

01:46:32.260 I'm 40.

01:46:33.240 What?

01:46:33.920 Like,

01:46:34.640 all right.

01:46:35.160 Did I do that yet?

01:46:36.500 Am I a comedian yet?

01:46:37.580 Or did I still,

01:46:38.540 am I still not a comedian?

01:46:40.900 I don't fucking know.

01:46:42.580 The,

01:46:43.040 yeah,

01:46:44.240 the gratitude thing is it's hard that I,

01:46:46.520 do you travel well?

01:46:48.840 I travel pretty well,

01:46:50.620 but then yeah,

01:46:51.180 this year,

01:46:51.600 everything just got a little bit too much.

01:46:53.200 It just was,

01:46:53.780 it just got to be too much.

01:46:55.500 Like air travel fucks me up.

01:46:57.140 Oh yeah.

01:46:57.460 It's bad,

01:46:58.020 man.

01:46:58.360 It's really tough on your body and it's tough.

01:47:00.120 It's tough on you over a while too.

01:47:01.620 Yeah.

01:47:01.920 You know,

01:47:02.080 I've been doing it for 15 years traveling,

01:47:04.140 doing touring.

01:47:04.900 So it's like,

01:47:06.200 and this year was just the most it's been.

01:47:07.920 And it was just,

01:47:08.840 and it was just,

01:47:09.820 it kind of caught up to me.

01:47:11.340 And I started taking,

01:47:12.980 one thing that was the worst for me this year,

01:47:15.320 I didn't realize was I took Propecia.

01:47:17.580 Ah.

01:47:18.640 Dude,

01:47:19.680 I wanted to kill myself for like a month.

01:47:22.900 And I had never felt that way in my entire life.

01:47:25.740 And it was because of that,

01:47:27.780 bro.

01:47:28.420 I had no idea.

01:47:30.740 And I got off of that,

01:47:32.240 bro.

01:47:32.360 And everything started to get better.

01:47:34.660 That's crazy.

01:47:35.760 It was,

01:47:36.300 I don't think we,

01:47:37.380 that's the thing about that.

01:47:38.680 They talk a lot about the pill and how it fucks up women's bodies.

01:47:43.820 And it absolutely does.

01:47:45.980 But the people don't talk about Propecia very much as like this thing guys do

01:47:50.640 that's purely for to look good.

01:47:53.760 Yeah.

01:47:54.340 And it fucks people up.

01:47:56.400 Like it fucks.

01:47:57.780 There are ways in which Propecia fucks people up.

01:48:01.100 I've never taken it,

01:48:02.140 but I like hearing that.

01:48:03.680 I'm not,

01:48:04.120 I've heard that shit before,

01:48:05.600 or you have erectile dysfunction or there's just a bunch of problems.

01:48:10.540 Yeah.

01:48:11.020 Just trying to hold on to your hair.

01:48:13.560 Yeah.

01:48:14.700 Yeah.

01:48:15.040 And then what they say is even with the erectile dysfunction.

01:48:17.200 So what it messes up is your libido.

01:48:19.640 So that's why the side effect of that is your erection.

01:48:22.780 Right.

01:48:23.440 But for,

01:48:24.140 in some people,

01:48:24.780 but when it messed up your libido for me,

01:48:26.640 it just messed up that mass,

01:48:28.180 whatever masculine energy,

01:48:29.600 whatever wee bit I had left,

01:48:31.280 you know,

01:48:31.820 if I can just crippled it.

01:48:33.580 So dude,

01:48:34.360 it was just like,

01:48:35.960 bro,

01:48:36.200 I had some of the scare.

01:48:37.680 I had never felt.

01:48:39.720 And so I threw that in this year and it was just like,

01:48:42.000 man,

01:48:42.160 it was just fog.

01:48:43.560 It was just,

01:48:44.560 that shit was tough.

01:48:45.320 And I'm so glad I realized that the minoxidil makes a pill.

01:48:48.600 That's a less dose.

01:48:50.620 And they also say you can take half of a Propecia and this won't happen.

01:48:54.180 But,

01:48:54.520 but minoxidil makes a pill as well.

01:48:57.960 And,

01:48:58.360 and now I take that and I don't have any side effects.

01:49:01.580 Yeah.

01:49:02.120 Great.

01:49:02.640 Yeah.

01:49:03.020 Yeah.

01:49:03.300 That's significant.

01:49:05.120 Yeah.

01:49:06.000 It was so scary.

01:49:07.820 Cause then it was just at the time where I'm like,

01:49:09.540 fuck is,

01:49:10.160 am I just completely falling apart?

01:49:12.340 Am I just losing my head?

01:49:13.260 Yeah.

01:49:14.180 And no,

01:49:14.640 you were just trying to hold onto your hair,

01:49:16.080 man.

01:49:16.100 I'm trying to hold onto my hair,

01:49:17.020 man.

01:49:17.120 That's all the simple guy.

01:49:19.660 Just a simple man.

01:49:21.060 That might be the name of this episode.

01:49:23.400 I got to go meet my sponsor,

01:49:24.720 man.

01:49:24.900 Yeah,

01:49:25.000 of course.

01:49:25.740 Thanks so much.

01:49:26.600 I love talking to you,

01:49:27.300 man.

01:49:27.520 Yeah,

01:49:27.720 me too,

01:49:28.100 man.

01:49:28.280 And I really like,

01:49:29.480 I'm really happy for you.

01:49:31.680 And,

01:49:32.120 uh,

01:49:33.080 it's cool.

01:49:34.480 I'm happy.

01:49:35.280 Like you were fucking hilarious,

01:49:37.260 dude.

01:49:37.740 Thanks bro.

01:49:38.900 And,

01:49:39.280 uh,

01:49:39.620 and I'm happy that you're,

01:49:41.660 that people realize it.

01:49:43.560 Thanks man.

01:49:44.300 Yeah,

01:49:44.480 man.

01:49:44.800 Well,

01:49:44.940 I appreciate it.

01:49:45.500 I appreciate you coming on and,

01:49:47.040 uh,

01:49:47.660 yeah,

01:49:47.940 I love how you always have new material and,

01:49:49.700 um,

01:49:50.600 yeah,

01:49:50.740 you're a hard worker,

01:49:51.380 man.

01:49:51.500 I really admire that about you.

01:49:52.620 Yeah.

01:49:52.900 Thank you,

01:49:53.260 man.

01:49:53.380 Yeah.

01:49:53.940 All right.

01:49:54.540 God bless.

01:49:54.940 Now I'm just floating on the breeze and I feel I'm falling like these leaves.

01:50:01.260 I must be.

01:50:02.140 Cornerstone.

01:50:06.460 Oh,

01:50:07.260 but when I reach that ground,

01:50:09.180 I'll share this peace of mind.

01:50:11.300 I found I can feel it in my bones,

01:50:15.360 but it's gonna take a little time for me to set that parking brake and let myself unwind.

01:50:28.640 Shine that light on me.

01:50:32.140 I'll sit and tell you my stories.

01:50:37.300 Shine on me.

01:50:42.300 And I will find a song.

01:50:46.840 I will sing it just for you.

01:50:50.080 And now I've been moving way too fast on the runaway train with a heavy load of my hands.

01:51:02.240 Ladies and gentlemen,

01:51:05.440 I'm Jonathan kite and welcome to kite club,

01:51:07.940 a podcast where I'll be sharing thoughts on things like current events,

01:51:11.800 standup stories,

01:51:12.640 and seven ways to pleasure your partner.

01:51:15.200 The answer may shock you.

01:51:16.840 Sometimes I'll interview my friends.

01:51:19.320 Sometimes I won't.

01:51:21.000 And as always,

01:51:21.840 I'll be joined by the voices in my head.

01:51:24.000 You have three new voice messages.

01:51:26.540 A lot of people are talking about kite club.

01:51:29.840 I've been talking about kite club for so long,

01:51:32.500 longer than anybody else.

01:51:34.120 So great.

01:51:35.500 Hi,

01:51:36.140 sweet.

01:51:36.700 Here's a deal.

01:51:38.440 Anyone who doesn't listen to kite club is a dodgy bloody wanker.

01:51:42.420 Jermaine.

01:51:43.000 I'll take a quarter pounder with cheese and a McFlurry.

01:51:47.480 Sorry,

01:51:47.860 sir,

01:51:47.980 but our ice cream machine is broken.

01:51:49.580 Oh,

01:51:49.860 no.

01:51:51.840 I think Tom Hanks just butt dialed me.

01:51:54.300 Anyway,

01:51:54.940 first rule of kite club is tell everyone about kite club.

01:51:58.520 Second rule of kite club is tell everyone about kite club.

01:52:02.720 Third rule,

01:52:03.660 like,

01:52:03.820 and subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts or watch us on YouTube.

01:52:07.640 Yeah.

01:52:08.500 And yes,

01:52:09.040 don't worry.

01:52:09.780 My Brad Pitt impression will get better.

This Past Weekend with Theo Von - November 25, 2019

Neal Brennan ｜ This Past Weekend #246

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