This Past Weekend with Theo Von - Pyramid Scheme ｜ This Past Weekend #240

00:00:00.480 You feel me, baby? I ain't no one-time line, baby. You know it.

00:00:06.060 I'm that cinnamon-lemon, daddy. I'm staying season-y.

00:00:10.080 You know, I'm staying seasonal, so.

00:00:15.940 Welcome.

00:00:22.300 Very spoo- 1.00

00:00:24.540 What was that?

00:00:25.780 Oh, that was my stepmother. 0.83

00:00:32.060 Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa.

00:00:33.240 What was that, dude?

00:00:34.060 That was an ant with an axe.

00:00:35.460 Oh.

00:00:36.860 Oh.

00:00:39.120 Oh.

00:00:42.200 Wouldn't that be scary, dude, if ants,

00:00:43.900 they had a bunch of ants with, like, little bitty axes, you know?

00:00:46.800 And they were just like,

00:00:49.340 we want crumbs.

00:00:52.420 It's Halloween.

00:00:53.220 It's the time, baby.

00:00:58.260 What's that?

00:00:59.900 Oh, that's just a cauldron.

00:01:02.040 That's a cauldron, bro.

00:01:04.220 And we had a guy at our school named Cauldron Patterson.

00:01:08.240 Young urban fella and beautiful guy and did a lot of art.

00:01:13.760 Not art, but he painted, like, houses and stuff like that.

00:01:16.220 And he ended up getting into house painting.

00:01:19.940 Happy Halloween.

00:01:20.700 Let's go.

00:01:47.420 Somebody's getting slapped.

00:01:50.700 You notice that?

00:01:51.320 You can hear it's like a cool beep,

00:01:52.440 but then somebody gets slapped every couple seconds.

00:01:54.980 Right there. 0.99

00:01:59.440 Damn, they've beaten that person. 1.00

00:02:01.360 Ooh. 1.00

00:02:03.200 Oh, bitch, go. 1.00

00:02:05.360 Ooh. 1.00

00:02:08.260 That's kind of...

00:02:09.360 Oh, man. 1.00

00:02:11.520 They'll slap a damn jawbreaker out of your mouth right there, that thing. 1.00

00:02:14.860 That's the werewolf dance by Martin Landhuh. 1.00

00:02:21.640 And that is...

00:02:23.160 I know we've all heard that sound, that beat.

00:02:24.920 That's...

00:02:25.520 That sounds scary, but also a little bit of domestic dispute kind of tickled in there with the slappy.

00:02:35.820 Ooh, let's stay haunty today.

00:02:37.740 Ooh.

00:02:38.180 Ooh.

00:02:38.680 Ooh.

00:02:38.740 Ooh.

00:02:39.180 Ooh.

00:02:39.240 Ooh.

00:02:39.740 Ooh.

00:02:40.740 Ooh.

00:02:40.800 Ooh.

00:02:41.240 Ooh.

00:02:41.800 Ooh.

00:02:44.860 That sounds a little like Dexter, like Dexter is going to do some Halloween, and you know,

00:03:05.340 maybe listen.

00:03:05.900 A little Dexter-y right there.

00:03:19.220 A little trick or trauma with Dexter.

00:03:21.040 Could you imagine if Dexter showed up at your door?

00:03:24.360 Dude, I would...

00:03:26.800 It wouldn't be good.

00:03:29.840 What are you going to give him, dude?

00:03:32.580 You're going to have to give him your soul, because that's what he's going to get.

00:03:35.000 Dude, Dexter was such a good show.

00:03:37.620 How good was Dexter?

00:03:39.480 And then you got some other show. 0.99

00:03:41.940 You know, like Larry and Abishola or some bullshit. 0.98

00:03:45.860 Um, what else, man? 0.98

00:03:48.880 Ooh, let's get into this little thingy.

00:03:52.180 Ooh.

00:03:57.180 Ooh.

00:04:01.180 Ooh.

00:04:01.740 Ooh.

00:04:01.880 Ooh.

00:04:01.940 Ooh.

00:04:01.960 Ooh.

00:04:02.020 Ooh.

00:04:02.040 Ooh.

00:04:02.080 Ooh.

00:04:02.100 Ooh.

00:04:02.120 Ooh.

00:04:05.000 Ooh.

00:04:07.120 Ooh.

00:04:07.520 That's kind of boring.

00:04:09.640 Here's one.

00:04:10.280 Let's do this one.

00:04:12.120 Ooh.

00:04:12.600 Ooh. 1.00

00:04:13.040 Oh, that sounds like somebody about to take their tits out at like a real nice Wendy's 1.00

00:04:36.300 or something, real upscale Wendy's, and that means just any Wendy's that has, you know, 0.99

00:04:41.920 two doors on it because everybody knows I've been in a Wendy's out here in Los Angeles

00:04:46.140 over there, Santa Monica, and one of the doors is missing, you know, one of those in and

00:04:52.880 out apparatuses, doors, is missing off that there Wendy's, and if Dave Thomas were alive, 0.93

00:04:59.820 he would shit in his apron because that's no way to go through it. 0.97

00:05:05.160 Happy Halloween. 0.99

00:05:06.140 That was a little bit of intro music and just, you know, getting people keyed up and everything,

00:05:09.840 and that's that.

00:05:12.500 And this is it.

00:05:15.300 This is it.

00:05:16.020 We got the studio decked.

00:05:18.080 If you get to check this out, Nicholas, premature Nick, and if, I don't know if there's anything

00:05:23.960 more, you know, the coffin, you know, that's when the coffins open.

00:05:29.300 You know, the thoroughfare is there, and people can, you know, spirits can come and go as they

00:05:35.160 will.

00:05:35.980 And a premature baby, and that's what producer Nick, you know, got here early.

00:05:39.640 He came into the world a little bit early.

00:05:43.680 And he's doing well.

00:05:44.660 Early bird gets the worm.

00:05:45.920 I mean, the guy's doing really, really well.

00:05:49.340 And he's out of Wisconsin.

00:05:51.100 He's a Wisconsin man.

00:05:52.180 And if you get near him, sometimes you can smell a little bit of milk on him or something,

00:05:56.440 you know, just something, you know, you could definitely, I mean, he'll wake up out of a

00:06:01.260 dead sleep cheering for Aaron Rodgers.

00:06:03.000 So, he is from Wisconsin.

00:06:07.660 Happy Halloween to you.

00:06:08.820 I hope you hope this week have everything you want in it.

00:06:12.160 Some trickery, some ghost.

00:06:15.480 Dude, when I was young, a ghost was like one of the top costumes.

00:06:19.580 Some dude would be a ghost.

00:06:22.040 I remember one guy, this guy Little Carlton, and he didn't have, I don't know, he didn't,

00:06:28.460 he couldn't walk that good.

00:06:29.840 Or he didn't want to, honestly, bro, he was lazy.

00:06:32.840 So, he didn't, you know, we'd all be walking somewhere and he would kind of just kind of

00:06:37.500 give up and just stand, you know.

00:06:40.900 He preferred to stand or lay down.

00:06:43.640 Or sometime my friend Shep, this big guy, he would carry him. 0.99

00:06:48.760 And I remember, who the fuck was I talking about? 0.97

00:06:56.760 I don't even remember, man. 0.99

00:06:57.780 But I'm going to have me a little snicker, boy, you know that.

00:07:02.200 Dude, and I've already had two, so.

00:07:05.260 Happy Halloween to you.

00:07:06.440 They got the ghosts are going to be out.

00:07:09.500 They got, and they got a lot of different ghosts now.

00:07:13.220 Oh, that's what I was saying.

00:07:14.060 When I was young, they had rare, you know, limited costumes.

00:07:19.260 Very limited.

00:07:19.940 And Carlton, one time, I remember this dude was a transmission, that's what he was.

00:07:25.840 And he put some type of metal or something on him and poured motor oil all over himself. 0.99

00:07:31.860 And we were like, dude, what the fuck, man? 0.99

00:07:34.200 But he was beautiful, beautiful kid, had real beautiful cheeks on him. 0.99

00:07:39.240 You know, sometimes on a child, it's almost like the Lord just fucking Botoxed him with a, you know, just put like a, just a, some warming, just a little bit of lava or something in their cheeks.

00:07:54.040 And Carlton had that. 0.99

00:07:55.160 He had beautiful ass cheeks, too. 0.97

00:07:56.700 And I wish he wouldn't have been so lazy because more people would have seen his cheeks. 0.98

00:08:00.840 But when you're that lazy, you don't run across as many people as you should because you're not out making the rounds of the world.

00:08:09.880 Oh, yeah.

00:08:11.980 Spooky.

00:08:15.000 Boo.

00:08:20.700 I wonder what sound I would make if I'm dying, bro.

00:08:22.680 If I'm dying, dude, I'm not making like a, I don't know, my last thing.

00:08:31.420 I don't know what I would do.

00:08:37.060 Some chicks would be like that probably, dude. 1.00

00:08:40.860 Some of these thoughts out here, you know, some of these Franken thoughts out here, they'd be like.

00:08:47.100 I hope we go to heaven.

00:08:56.160 You know, what would your last sound be?

00:09:00.060 You'd think.

00:09:02.180 If you had a last sound, what would it be if you had a really, because it's your last, the last noise you're going to make in the world, the last thing that's going to reverb out of you.

00:09:12.440 So, what would yours be, you'd think? 0.98

00:09:18.840 That's dumb. 0.99

00:09:19.540 That's a bad one. 1.00

00:09:23.400 That's a tough one.

00:09:24.240 That's not that tough.

00:09:25.080 You got to have a tougher one than that.

00:09:27.840 Nah.

00:09:28.840 Nah.

00:09:30.080 That might be good.

00:09:30.880 But if people, if you do that, you're probably not going to die if you have that much energy to do that sound.

00:09:37.000 So, it would have to be a soft, maybe like a little whistle or something, like a.

00:09:41.800 Maybe a dog runs over.

00:09:43.140 That's kind of beautiful at the end.

00:09:45.240 You lay there and you drift, you know.

00:09:50.520 And then the dog runs over.

00:09:52.040 I remember in college, I got fired from radio station for blowing a dog whistle.

00:09:58.000 You know, one of those dog whistles that only dogs can hear, allegedly. 0.99

00:10:03.020 I mean, who knows if they fucking can, but. 0.95

00:10:06.440 But I got fired for blowing one of those on the radio station all the time because people would complain. 0.98

00:10:13.040 You know, like, I can't listen to Foo Fighters. 0.99

00:10:16.040 You know, because my damn Labrador hates your audio network. 0.99

00:10:23.100 You know. 1.00

00:10:24.060 Oh, I can't even listen to this dang.

00:10:26.020 You know, I'm trying to call in and get y'all to play some juvenile. 0.99

00:10:29.680 You know, I'm trying to play back that ass up. 0.98

00:10:31.600 We out here at my god cousin's funeral. 0.99

00:10:35.420 And we trying to play back that ass up. 0.98

00:10:38.040 And they got, you know, and they got six stray dogs showing up over here on the dance floor. 0.98

00:10:44.420 So, I don't know, man.

00:10:46.760 Y'all need to tighten up over there.

00:10:50.880 And that's what it is.

00:10:53.640 What did I do this weekend, this past weekend, man?

00:10:56.160 Thank you guys for being here today.

00:10:57.400 I do want to tell you some dates that just are coming up.

00:10:59.960 Very excited.

00:11:01.060 Lafayette, Louisiana.

00:11:02.660 December 26th.

00:11:04.440 At the Hyman Performing Arts Center.

00:11:08.360 And a portion of the proceeds to go to Dustin Poirier's Good Fight Foundation.

00:11:12.260 And I'm very excited to see that.

00:11:16.520 Dude, Dustin called out, you know, Nate Diaz on.

00:11:22.540 It was hilarious.

00:11:23.420 He's in the hospital bed because they took part of his hip or something. 0.99

00:11:26.160 They put him a damn. 0.99

00:11:27.600 I mean, I think they're going to replace his hip with a damn chainsaw, bro. 1.00

00:11:30.200 That dude's going to be cutting people's heads off. 1.00

00:11:32.500 He's going to have them, you know. 0.93

00:11:34.120 And then he'll probably get a job doing reforestation or timber.

00:11:36.860 So who knows?

00:11:39.300 I mean, that dude could be, you know, he could be fighting by day.

00:11:42.420 And, you know, he could be fighting at night and doing, and building, you know, and doing, working at a lumber yard, working at it over there.

00:11:50.060 DeWalt or something during the daytime. 0.99

00:11:53.740 But, and he was talking shit to that man, Nate Diaz. 0.99

00:11:59.580 It was hilarious. 1.00

00:12:01.240 That shit was hilarious. 1.00

00:12:02.260 Dude, if you go read their conversation back and forth, it was pretty funny. 1.00

00:12:04.880 But it was also kind of respectful, too.

00:12:06.740 It was pretty cool.

00:12:09.520 Yeah, this is it.

00:12:10.420 This is a great time to get out there, do a costume.

00:12:14.080 You know, when I was young, they didn't have as many costumes.

00:12:16.780 A ghost was a popular deal.

00:12:20.060 Especially in our neighborhood.

00:12:21.680 You had to get a spare sheet.

00:12:24.820 You know what I'm saying?

00:12:25.480 I remember having, I remember asking for a sheet for my birthday. 0.99

00:12:29.320 Just to save that bastard so I could ghost out. 0.99

00:12:32.960 You know. 0.99

00:12:34.880 And some people, you know, a lot of kids, you know, if you had a sheet, a lot of times you didn't really, you know, some people called it more of a bastard drapery.

00:12:44.780 Because you didn't usually have a daddy or something if you was just out there in a sheet.

00:12:48.980 I remember one kid would put a sheet on and put like a little rope around his neck, kind of. 0.96

00:12:53.340 And he fucking forgot to cut the eye holes into it. 0.99

00:12:55.660 Hell yeah, dude. 1.00

00:12:58.140 Ran outside and got attacked by a bunch of fucking stray dogs. 1.00

00:13:01.580 So you gotta, I mean, Halloween, you gotta think, you know, you have to, I mean, cut some face holes and stuff. 0.99

00:13:10.200 But I remember getting in the mask.

00:13:13.780 Remember you would put the tight mask on?

00:13:17.940 It'd be so hard to breathe.

00:13:19.220 You'd be like trapped in there. 0.99

00:13:20.660 And that tight ass thing pressing into the back of your head. 1.00

00:13:23.320 That little. 0.99

00:13:24.380 And if you have one of them cheap ones, bro.

00:13:28.020 Especially from the, if you got something from like the pharmacy or whatever.

00:13:32.080 Remember, your dad got you that little outfit.

00:13:36.060 I remember my dad one time got a, me and my brother, he accidentally got us both, uh, um, raggedy Ann instead of Andy. 0.99

00:13:48.320 And so we were both out there like just a couple of straight up sugar bitches, man. 1.00

00:13:53.240 Looking for candy going door to door. 0.99

00:13:55.740 Hey, little lady, people saying.

00:13:58.480 I'd be like, I'm a guy, I'm a guy.

00:14:02.620 I'm, I'm, I'm a, I'm a handy, but I'm just, I got the wrong, you know, uh, suit on.

00:14:08.640 I got my sister's dress on. 0.82

00:14:11.220 That was the shittiest man. 1.00

00:14:13.660 Being locked in that damn little fucking face fucking prison. 1.00

00:14:17.160 That, dude, that little plastic mask that bitch cuts into your head. 1.00

00:14:21.720 You try to stick your tongue out the little breathing hole in there. 1.00

00:14:24.680 People dying.

00:14:26.840 Dude, they, yeah, you put that thing, that mask on.

00:14:29.700 You, some, you couldn't even breathe sometimes.

00:14:32.760 Some people die.

00:14:33.960 Some guy, you, you know, he put it on.

00:14:36.400 He died. 1.00

00:14:37.520 Like, damn, bro. 1.00

00:14:38.660 Where's Leonard, you know? 0.99

00:14:39.820 And he's at the funeral and they got him a death certificate, Raggedy Andy on there, Frankenstein. 0.97

00:14:47.140 They don't even fucking look for his real identity. 0.98

00:14:49.800 Just wild, man. 0.99

00:14:50.740 Different time, you know.

00:14:53.120 Different time.

00:14:55.640 Dude, I remember one time when I was at Halloween, uh, my dad had gotten, you know, because my father was a senior citizen.

00:15:04.300 Hold on, I'm going to have a snicker real quick because I deserve it. 0.87

00:15:09.160 Mmm, my God.

00:15:12.940 My God.

00:15:16.820 When you get a little snicker, boy,

00:15:19.680 it's just like somebody just threw a big old 1.00

00:15:24.180 fine piece of ass in your mouth. 1.00

00:15:28.260 You feel me? 1.00

00:15:30.540 Mmm.

00:15:30.940 My God, I love that little snicker, boy.

00:15:36.700 And I'm on the minis right now. 0.98

00:15:39.800 And by Christmas, I'll escalate up to a damn full bar. 0.92

00:15:43.920 I'll go mini, then I'll go them baby snicker. 0.97

00:15:47.920 And, you know,

00:15:49.640 and I'll go full bar.

00:15:51.620 I don't do them big king size. 0.99

00:15:53.260 We got one in here from like a damn museum or something. 0.96

00:15:56.340 Or the kind you pull over on the side of the interstate 0.99

00:15:58.200 and in Missouri to take a picture of with your cousin.

00:16:01.060 You sit him up on top of it

00:16:02.280 and get a picture of him.

00:16:04.940 But,

00:16:06.940 uh,

00:16:07.620 what was I talking about?

00:16:10.560 I don't know.

00:16:12.160 Oh,

00:16:12.800 so one time I remember my dad,

00:16:14.640 he was senior citizen.

00:16:16.500 And that's like

00:16:17.420 as much citizen as you can be,

00:16:19.340 really.

00:16:19.560 And

00:16:21.620 he was probably about maybe 75,

00:16:24.720 77 maybe.

00:16:26.680 I don't know.

00:16:27.140 Maybe,

00:16:27.380 I don't know.

00:16:27.740 Maybe he was almost about 80,

00:16:28.880 but

00:16:29.040 and he got the bad,

00:16:31.520 you know,

00:16:31.700 he got

00:16:31.980 his blood work or something came back wrong

00:16:34.560 or they gave him wrong blood work at the hospital.

00:16:37.900 Because the hospital,

00:16:38.840 when I was growing up,

00:16:39.460 it was like two guys over there working

00:16:41.100 and a couple ladies. 0.93

00:16:42.640 They maybe had four people over there.

00:16:44.660 And one guy was a mechanic.

00:16:45.940 And so he'd come in there

00:16:48.200 and he'd put a,

00:16:48.900 you know,

00:16:49.500 he'd try to cure cancer 0.99

00:16:51.280 with a damn Allen wrench in there. 0.99

00:16:53.600 You know, 1.00

00:16:54.080 he's in there fixing a broken arm

00:16:55.540 with a,

00:16:55.880 um,

00:16:57.180 you know,

00:16:58.020 with a,

00:16:58.320 uh,

00:16:59.380 with a Phillips head wrench.

00:17:02.500 So it was limited

00:17:03.800 ability to really be,

00:17:05.840 you know,

00:17:07.660 healed or procured.

00:17:09.140 I mean,

00:17:09.520 he,

00:17:09.780 if you got healed,

00:17:10.500 you were really lucky.

00:17:12.720 So I remember my dad got some bad,

00:17:14.940 the wrong blood work.

00:17:15.820 They gave him somebody else's blood work,

00:17:17.380 like of a newborn baby or something.

00:17:19.340 So he,

00:17:19.780 they said he had the good blood,

00:17:21.400 you know,

00:17:21.880 sugar was low

00:17:22.760 and it was right at Halloween.

00:17:25.060 And so,

00:17:26.000 dude,

00:17:26.420 he got in our Halloween candy.

00:17:27.860 He must've ate,

00:17:28.720 he must've ate about,

00:17:31.680 I bet he probably had about 19 Reese's cup.

00:17:37.000 And,

00:17:37.560 uh,

00:17:38.400 and he had,

00:17:39.080 he went into a,

00:17:39.880 like a,

00:17:41.140 he,

00:17:41.780 uh,

00:17:42.140 passed out.

00:17:43.240 Went into like a sugar comb or something.

00:17:45.320 And you take him to the hospital,

00:17:46.620 dude,

00:17:46.780 in the hospital,

00:17:47.460 you know,

00:17:47.680 like I said,

00:17:48.140 it's for,

00:17:48.640 you know,

00:17:49.300 they got three people over there.

00:17:50.760 One of them's a drive through some lady, 1.00

00:17:52.480 you know,

00:17:52.660 they sell them fries out the back of it.

00:17:54.360 I mean, 0.99

00:17:54.520 this shit was, 1.00

00:17:55.460 this was limited time. 1.00

00:17:56.680 It was limited ability to really get well.

00:18:01.040 I mean,

00:18:01.340 that's why you would either go to the hospital,

00:18:02.640 you would just do prayer.

00:18:03.680 Some people just prayer.

00:18:04.720 And,

00:18:07.120 uh,

00:18:07.540 and my dad,

00:18:09.760 they,

00:18:10.180 uh,

00:18:10.240 cause you go,

00:18:10.960 mostly it was babies.

00:18:12.300 Mostly the hospitals for babies.

00:18:14.540 So,

00:18:15.780 you take a,

00:18:16.960 you know,

00:18:17.300 you take your dad over there.

00:18:18.980 He had like a sugar stroke or something. 1.00

00:18:21.000 They put him in a damn incubator, 1.00

00:18:22.640 you know, 1.00

00:18:23.420 they got him in like a damn nine foot incubator. 0.99

00:18:25.640 He's in there, 0.99

00:18:26.820 you know,

00:18:27.580 doing cigarettes or something.

00:18:29.620 Little Daniel come by and sell him a pack of smokes,

00:18:31.980 bro.

00:18:32.120 Cause you know how Daniel is duty.

00:18:35.740 Daniel don't care if you get well or not.

00:18:38.760 You know,

00:18:39.200 he makes his own choices and he don't like to,

00:18:41.180 he don't care if you get well or not.

00:18:43.880 And he does not care.

00:18:47.460 But those were the days,

00:18:48.720 man,

00:18:49.040 different time,

00:18:49.880 you know,

00:18:50.540 cause you get a sugar report of an infant.

00:18:52.540 Next thing you know,

00:18:53.100 you think you can live how you want.

00:18:54.720 You're in college again,

00:18:55.980 but really you're a senior citizen.

00:18:59.800 Um,

00:19:00.160 what else do I have to tell you about?

00:19:04.520 Uh,

00:19:04.880 I'll tell you this,

00:19:06.080 that if you're gambling and you should have bet on them New Orleans saints,

00:19:10.080 cause Drew Brees,

00:19:11.760 man,

00:19:11.880 is that kind of,

00:19:12.440 he's so inspiring.

00:19:14.580 You know,

00:19:15.020 he's like a,

00:19:15.600 uh,

00:19:16.180 he's like a light at the end of the tunnel of humanity.

00:19:21.460 Then,

00:19:21.920 um,

00:19:22.160 but if you'd like to bet on games,

00:19:23.360 like I do,

00:19:24.040 there's only one real place to do it.

00:19:25.700 and the place that I like to do it is at my bookie,

00:19:30.620 my bookie,

00:19:32.160 regardless of whether you've been battling.

00:19:41.420 I'm sorry,

00:19:42.300 man.

00:19:42.720 I think my lungs is haunted.

00:19:47.000 I think my lungs is haunted,

00:19:48.740 man.

00:19:49.660 By cigarette,

00:19:51.120 by cigarette.

00:19:51.980 So sorry,

00:20:01.160 man.

00:20:01.420 That's what I'm saying,

00:20:02.140 dude.

00:20:02.540 Everybody's getting haunted right now. 0.98

00:20:04.660 What's in your brain?

00:20:05.780 What's it?

00:20:06.020 Where you go?

00:20:06.540 You know, 1.00

00:20:07.020 you got a dirty ghost in your lung, 1.00

00:20:09.760 or you got a fucking little, 1.00

00:20:11.300 you know, 1.00

00:20:12.540 you got a ghost in your wiener or in your coot. 0.92

00:20:15.200 You know what I'm saying?

00:20:16.220 Everybody's got something haunting them right now.

00:20:19.120 Haunting their body.

00:20:20.600 Haunting their brain. 0.91

00:20:23.140 It's that time, 0.96

00:20:24.340 baby.

00:20:26.640 It's that time.

00:20:29.260 We've all got something haunting us.

00:20:32.140 Some people like to gamble.

00:20:34.160 You know,

00:20:34.500 don't fly to Vegas to do it.

00:20:36.440 It ain't 1900.

00:20:38.220 Okay?

00:20:39.500 Don't get you,

00:20:40.320 just fly over there and,

00:20:41.520 you know,

00:20:42.080 lie to your wife and say you're going to the store.

00:20:44.200 Next thing you know,

00:20:44.880 you're gone for four days.

00:20:47.440 You know?

00:20:48.920 So,

00:20:49.340 what I'm saying is my bookie.

00:20:50.860 Do it the right way.

00:20:52.460 Whether you've been betting for years

00:20:53.640 or you're ready to play for the first time,

00:20:55.500 my bookie

00:20:56.360 is your best bet this season.

00:20:58.560 Make your best bet.

00:21:00.380 If you're the kind of guy who likes to bet a little

00:21:02.120 and win a lot,

00:21:03.000 try a parlay.

00:21:05.040 Now,

00:21:05.440 a parlay used to be

00:21:06.720 whenever you got,

00:21:08.200 whenever you hooked up with a chick over there 1.00

00:21:10.580 on a golf course.

00:21:11.900 But this is different.

00:21:13.600 For instance,

00:21:14.080 if you like a couple of the big favorites this week

00:21:16.100 or in two weeks,

00:21:16.780 you want to lay a little bit of money

00:21:17.900 on them LSU Tigers

00:21:19.540 to beat that Crimson Tide,

00:21:22.300 then parlays are perfect

00:21:23.240 because they let you bet multiple games together

00:21:25.120 for a bigger payout.

00:21:26.900 And that's how I like to roll.

00:21:27.960 I'll lay six dollars.

00:21:29.920 You know,

00:21:30.120 I'll bet,

00:21:30.560 you know,

00:21:30.920 that,

00:21:31.580 that the,

00:21:32.420 that the Rottweiler across the street

00:21:36.040 is going to,

00:21:37.300 you know,

00:21:37.680 is going to bite one of these,

00:21:39.140 you know,

00:21:40.320 kids doing tricks on their bikes.

00:21:43.280 But you got to,

00:21:44.000 if you want to bet a couple of that

00:21:45.020 on a couple different streets,

00:21:46.220 then you do it through my bookie.

00:21:48.340 That's the parlay.

00:21:49.980 So if you're going to bet this season,

00:21:51.180 do the smart thing.

00:21:51.820 Go to mybookie.ag

00:21:53.260 because no one gives you more ways

00:21:55.200 to win

00:21:55.980 between football season,

00:21:57.980 the playoffs,

00:21:58.980 the start of the NBA,

00:22:00.540 NHL.

00:22:01.120 It's time to get off the sideline

00:22:03.160 and get in on the action.

00:22:05.340 And if you join right now,

00:22:06.840 my bookie,

00:22:07.540 they're going to double your deal.

00:22:09.400 Who doubles your deal? 0.99

00:22:10.720 You ever give somebody something

00:22:11.760 they give you back twice as much?

00:22:14.020 The Lord,

00:22:14.760 maybe,

00:22:15.580 but they will double your deal

00:22:17.360 at my bookie.

00:22:18.640 Use promo code Theo

00:22:19.960 to activate the offer.

00:22:21.360 That's promo code T-H-E-O

00:22:23.320 to double your cash.

00:22:25.580 Visit mybookie,

00:22:27.080 M-Y-B-O-O-K-I-E dot A-G today.

00:22:30.220 You play,

00:22:31.260 you win,

00:22:32.240 you get paid.

00:22:34.000 Get paid, man.

00:22:35.100 Get that loot.

00:22:37.420 Get that loot.

00:22:39.380 I'm thinking about going to Louisiana

00:22:40.820 on third Wednesday

00:22:42.040 to go see the kiddos

00:22:44.220 and the niece and nephew.

00:22:47.740 You know,

00:22:48.640 man,

00:22:50.560 I love,

00:22:51.220 you know,

00:22:51.440 it's a lot this time of year coming up.

00:22:53.240 And I know,

00:22:53.920 you know,

00:22:54.200 sometimes we head into this season

00:22:56.180 and people are dealing

00:22:57.560 with different stressors

00:22:59.140 and,

00:23:00.080 you know,

00:23:00.900 maybe you just lost a girlfriend

00:23:03.140 or you just lost a loved one

00:23:04.520 or,

00:23:05.500 you know,

00:23:05.800 or you're not sure what to do

00:23:06.960 or you don't know what your choices are,

00:23:08.380 but just,

00:23:09.820 just keep moving forward,

00:23:12.320 you know,

00:23:12.500 everything will be okay.

00:23:14.380 And I just want to tell you that

00:23:15.640 and I'm telling myself that too

00:23:16.940 because I need to hear that

00:23:18.580 from myself sometimes.

00:23:21.540 And I'm not getting all Debbie Downer.

00:23:23.140 People sometimes say,

00:23:23.900 man,

00:23:24.180 you know,

00:23:24.580 some of you get a little downer

00:23:25.720 and dude,

00:23:26.860 I'm an alcoholic,

00:23:27.720 man.

00:23:30.100 You know,

00:23:30.720 this is,

00:23:31.140 it's a problem that

00:23:32.040 whatever that demon is,

00:23:34.640 that dark art that lives in me,

00:23:36.800 that Vincent Van Ghost,

00:23:38.280 bro,

00:23:38.480 something's haunting.

00:23:39.480 It haunts me.

00:23:41.040 And I'm a haunted,

00:23:42.420 haunted,

00:23:43.660 haunted house,

00:23:44.480 bro.

00:23:45.260 And I'm a two-story,

00:23:46.500 bro.

00:23:46.600 I got a garage,

00:23:48.360 you know,

00:23:48.600 I got a base cemented. 1.00

00:23:50.360 I got a damn, 1.00

00:23:51.440 you know, 0.99

00:23:52.600 a lean-to out back.

00:23:53.740 We got a tree house. 0.99

00:23:54.780 This is some fucking haunted territory. 0.99

00:23:57.600 And, 0.99

00:23:58.200 and so it's a constant battle.

00:24:03.100 You know,

00:24:03.960 when you have alcoholism

00:24:05.140 and that kind of thing and stuff,

00:24:06.100 it's a constant battle,

00:24:07.120 man.

00:24:07.740 It doesn't end.

00:24:08.500 You can't just beat it once.

00:24:09.580 You can't,

00:24:09.980 it just,

00:24:10.380 it is a fight.

00:24:13.280 So,

00:24:14.460 you know, 0.99

00:24:15.160 and sometimes I got a little bit of bitch in me, 1.00

00:24:16.780 bro. 0.99

00:24:17.320 When they baked my batch,

00:24:18.600 they threw a little,

00:24:19.200 you know, 0.99

00:24:20.660 they threw a couple extra fucking little, 0.99

00:24:22.560 you know, 1.00

00:24:24.060 half a scoop of bitch sometimes in me. 1.00

00:24:27.080 So, 0.99

00:24:27.500 I got to battle through that,

00:24:28.640 you know,

00:24:29.400 through the,

00:24:29.820 through those extra,

00:24:30.920 through the extra,

00:24:32.940 you know, 1.00

00:24:33.220 amount of bitch that's in me. 1.00

00:24:35.900 Because look, 1.00

00:24:36.520 dude,

00:24:36.680 if I had my choice

00:24:37.460 and I'm standing there at the checkout,

00:24:38.840 I'd be like,

00:24:39.260 nah,

00:24:39.660 nah,

00:24:39.980 nah, 1.00

00:24:40.380 hold the bitch. 1.00

00:24:42.420 You know what I'm saying? 1.00

00:24:44.480 Hold the bitch, 1.00

00:24:45.520 but that's not, 1.00

00:24:47.080 that's not what the deck I was dealt.

00:24:50.040 And so I can only play with these cards that I have.

00:24:52.560 Oh man,

00:24:55.900 we got some great calls that came in.

00:24:59.440 Man,

00:24:59.840 I'm so happy to be here.

00:25:00.780 I can't believe this is,

00:25:02.060 let me see,

00:25:03.400 December 16th will be three years of doing this past weekend.

00:25:07.300 Wow,

00:25:07.800 three years,

00:25:08.280 that's crazy.

00:25:09.820 That's like a three-year-old child.

00:25:12.840 That's pretty bizarre.

00:25:15.720 Let's take a call or two.

00:25:17.880 As always,

00:25:18.760 the hotline,

00:25:19.200 985-664-9503.

00:25:23.840 We all got ghosts.

00:25:25.980 We all got ghosts.

00:25:27.440 Hey,

00:25:27.860 D.O.

00:25:28.300 It's James from San Jose.

00:25:30.380 What's up,

00:25:31.040 James from San Jose?

00:25:32.980 And,

00:25:33.280 um,

00:25:34.420 San Jose definitely,

00:25:36.460 uh,

00:25:37.320 have been to that place.

00:25:39.220 And it's,

00:25:39.760 they got a lot of,

00:25:40.660 if you're down there,

00:25:42.880 kind of where the buses are and stuff,

00:25:44.580 they got a lot of,

00:25:45.420 uh,

00:25:47.160 at night,

00:25:47.720 a lot of people will kind of beat each other out in the street and stuff like that.

00:25:50.620 It has that kind of unique vibe,

00:25:51.980 that outdoorsy vibe downtown.

00:25:54.160 Onward. 1.00

00:25:55.120 Shit, 1.00

00:25:55.540 I was just listening to your podcast. 1.00

00:25:57.580 Now,

00:25:58.040 you're talking about the zoo

00:26:00.060 in the Kula Kakan province.

00:26:03.660 Oh,

00:26:03.780 yeah.

00:26:04.380 My buddy got that read down there on that,

00:26:06.140 uh,

00:26:06.980 that Sinaloan animal sanctuary,

00:26:08.840 baby.

00:26:10.480 Uh,

00:26:10.940 yeah,

00:26:11.160 what do you know?

00:26:11.560 You have any info?

00:26:12.480 I don't know if you know,

00:26:13.460 but that's where El Chapo's boys are.

00:26:16.120 And they're going ham right now.

00:26:17.920 So,

00:26:18.180 I don't know if that'd be the smartest investment.

00:26:20.980 I just wanted to give you the heads up.

00:26:22.760 I don't know if you've been watching the news lately. 1.00

00:26:24.500 That shit is going crazy, 1.00

00:26:26.380 brother. 1.00

00:26:27.640 Gang,

00:26:27.860 gang.

00:26:28.780 Gang,

00:26:29.340 gang,

00:26:29.660 man.

00:26:30.060 No,

00:26:31.680 I didn't know that.

00:26:33.160 Thank you for that information.

00:26:34.500 That's one thing I love about this.

00:26:36.220 This back and forth we have here is the information I receive.

00:26:40.200 So,

00:26:40.480 if El Chapo's boys are out there.

00:26:43.820 But see,

00:26:44.420 that's when I think people could use an animal the most.

00:26:47.820 You know,

00:26:48.840 a couple people getting murdered or whatever,

00:26:51.220 and you get to go touch a soft animal.

00:26:54.780 You know,

00:26:55.340 and that's like,

00:26:56.480 I mean, 0.99

00:26:56.700 it's almost like when you touch the back of a damn beautiful, 0.98

00:26:59.080 when you touch the back of a beautiful ape or a beautiful, 0.98

00:27:04.520 you know,

00:27:07.220 a kitten or even one of those little dogs that's in a wheelchair or something.

00:27:12.420 there's nothing more beautiful than that.

00:27:17.000 them rubbing your hand. 1.00

00:27:19.540 It's almost like sticking your hand right into heaven's ass, 1.00

00:27:22.780 you know, 1.00

00:27:23.100 like right into,

00:27:23.660 just right into heaven.

00:27:26.260 When you touch the back of an animal or the back,

00:27:28.440 or you touch the front of a,

00:27:30.120 of a,

00:27:31.860 you know,

00:27:32.200 a soft,

00:27:32.880 um,

00:27:33.600 seal or something,

00:27:34.720 or,

00:27:35.000 uh,

00:27:35.900 um,

00:27:36.560 ostrich or,

00:27:37.820 yeah,

00:27:38.760 or something,

00:27:39.620 you know,

00:27:39.760 at a petting zoo,

00:27:40.560 you, 1.00

00:27:40.760 they let you touch a damn fucking lemur or something, 1.00

00:27:44.180 or check its throat for, 1.00

00:27:46.000 uh,

00:27:46.480 see if it's nodules or,

00:27:47.660 you know,

00:27:48.840 if it might have a cold or whatever.

00:27:50.180 I mean,

00:27:50.940 that,

00:27:51.680 that can cure a lot of people is what I'm saying.

00:27:53.340 So the thing,

00:27:53.860 the thing about the zoo that gets me is,

00:27:55.660 could it be,

00:27:58.460 you know,

00:27:59.160 two of your friends just got beheaded.

00:28:00.780 You get to go look at a couple of lambs or whatever, 1.00

00:28:02.980 fucking, 1.00

00:28:03.400 or just being together, 1.00

00:28:04.840 you know,

00:28:05.860 cause it's not always about sex,

00:28:08.120 you know,

00:28:08.820 then that could be something that could be special.

00:28:15.280 But I'll tell,

00:28:16.240 you know,

00:28:16.520 it's crazy cause my boy hadn't even gotten back to me.

00:28:18.540 I mean,

00:28:18.780 he's down there.

00:28:19.320 He hadn't responded to like the past four messages.

00:28:21.700 So we'll see,

00:28:22.700 man.

00:28:22.920 But I got a lot of response about that.

00:28:24.980 People saying,

00:28:25.420 dude,

00:28:25.720 don't do a zoo in Mexico.

00:28:27.980 Well,

00:28:29.500 yeah,

00:28:30.200 easy for you to say.

00:28:31.260 You don't have the opportunity to do it.

00:28:34.720 So,

00:28:35.960 um,

00:28:37.320 all right,

00:28:39.120 let's,

00:28:39.360 we got,

00:28:39.560 we had some calls that came in about pyramid schemes.

00:28:43.380 And I got schemed out as a child,

00:28:45.000 me and my friend,

00:28:45.620 Charlie,

00:28:46.800 we lost,

00:28:48.400 we each lost $1,000 in a pyramid scheme.

00:28:51.340 And dude,

00:28:51.820 I think it was even,

00:28:53.000 when I remember thinking back,

00:28:54.300 I think it was called the pyramid scheme.

00:28:57.020 Like these people,

00:28:58.180 whoever put it on,

00:29:00.060 didn't even hide it.

00:29:02.500 And I remember it was like a pier.

00:29:04.080 I was like,

00:29:05.040 it was a pyramid.

00:29:06.180 It said,

00:29:06.560 you know,

00:29:06.860 I think it even said,

00:29:09.320 don't do this at the bottom.

00:29:11.960 So it was,

00:29:13.180 you know,

00:29:15.560 it was,

00:29:16.280 it wasn't probably like a premier choice,

00:29:19.520 but we had some call that came in about that pyramid.

00:29:23.280 Mm.

00:29:23.680 Man,

00:29:24.040 I just had another snicker boy.

00:29:25.560 Good God.

00:29:26.740 Who am I?

00:29:29.660 What have I done to deserve this luxury boy?

00:29:34.520 When I put a snicker in my face,

00:29:36.300 man,

00:29:36.600 it's just like,

00:29:37.260 my God.

00:29:42.980 Mm.

00:29:44.140 It's like my whole tongue just dang went to church,

00:29:46.640 brother.

00:29:49.640 Mm.

00:29:51.320 God.

00:29:52.980 It's like everyone on my teeth just sat down in,

00:29:55.320 in a sugary little Sunday school.

00:29:59.560 Mm.

00:29:59.960 Because my mouth is with the Lord when I got a snicker in it.

00:30:04.940 My God.

00:30:08.080 Mm.

00:30:10.280 Mm.

00:30:12.260 Mind me being young and erect,

00:30:14.520 boy.

00:30:17.240 Mind me being young and erect.

00:30:21.800 Mm.

00:30:23.820 Dude,

00:30:24.260 I used to get so erect as a child, 1.00

00:30:25.740 I was like a damn shark. 1.00

00:30:26.900 Oh, 1.00

00:30:28.540 Jesus.

00:30:31.780 Person ruining my vibe.

00:30:34.080 Dude,

00:30:34.320 if you laid me on my back and you,

00:30:35.780 you know, 1.00

00:30:36.040 I look like a damn shark, 1.00

00:30:37.300 bro, 0.99

00:30:37.460 because I had that wiener topping out up,

00:30:39.320 up at the top of my pants and everything.

00:30:43.180 All right.

00:30:43.540 Some calls came in about pyramid scheme.

00:30:44.900 Let's get,

00:30:45.160 let's get to one of those.

00:30:46.640 Because I asked you guys to let me know if you'd ever done,

00:30:49.200 been caught up in the dark arts,

00:30:52.700 that shape shifter,

00:30:53.580 man,

00:30:53.780 that pyramid.

00:30:54.320 You know,

00:30:56.920 that's a,

00:30:57.280 that's a Bermuda triangle of your bank account right there.

00:31:01.300 Gang. 0.66

00:31:02.380 Theo,

00:31:02.820 what's going on,

00:31:03.400 man?

00:31:03.580 Hope you're doing well.

00:31:04.520 This is Cody from Lancaster,

00:31:06.380 Pennsylvania.

00:31:07.320 Cody from Lancaster,

00:31:08.620 PA,

00:31:08.940 and that's Amish country.

00:31:11.000 And the Amish are, 1.00

00:31:12.780 I mean,

00:31:14.720 they're beautiful,

00:31:15.300 man.

00:31:16.120 They're like new,

00:31:16.760 they're like deer,

00:31:17.380 like newborn deer,

00:31:18.620 endangered species.

00:31:19.780 You know,

00:31:19.940 you kind of can,

00:31:21.060 you can look at them,

00:31:22.020 but you don't want to get up real close.

00:31:23.160 So they'll steal your chips,

00:31:24.340 you know,

00:31:24.520 they'll steal a bag of potato chips out of your hand.

00:31:26.840 Kind of like those little monkeys over there in,

00:31:28.840 um,

00:31:30.920 uh,

00:31:32.040 Malaysia,

00:31:33.260 or even in,

00:31:34.320 uh,

00:31:36.200 I think even a lot of places.

00:31:39.080 Let's hear more.

00:31:39.860 Thank you for calling brother.

00:31:40.560 Onward.

00:31:41.880 I'm currently driving from,

00:31:43.440 uh,

00:31:43.740 Florida to,

00:31:44.560 uh,

00:31:44.980 my hometown.

00:31:45.840 I heard about you asking about,

00:31:47.400 uh,

00:31:48.080 the pyramid scheme.

00:31:49.280 Uh,

00:31:49.600 my fiance and I actually got wrapped up in one of those with,

00:31:52.460 uh,

00:31:52.860 Amway.

00:31:53.760 Amen,

00:31:54.420 brother.

00:31:55.220 Onward.

00:31:55.780 We're doing some,

00:31:56.360 uh,

00:31:57.000 some babysitting.

00:31:59.060 And,

00:31:59.580 uh,

00:32:00.120 the parents of the child actually just,

00:32:01.920 they got us kind of wrapped up in that,

00:32:03.380 gave us a presentation,

00:32:04.480 a PowerPoint slide,

00:32:06.000 started unloading some products on us.

00:32:07.700 And it was just like,

00:32:09.180 you know,

00:32:09.540 zero to a hundred in,

00:32:10.820 uh,

00:32:11.240 in no time.

00:32:12.060 So I got to tell you,

00:32:13.560 it's,

00:32:14.040 uh,

00:32:14.740 it can definitely be good for the people that are at the top,

00:32:16.940 but you know,

00:32:17.840 if you're just starting out,

00:32:18.780 you have to start selling to your friends and family.

00:32:20.980 And,

00:32:21.400 uh,

00:32:21.740 you know,

00:32:22.020 that can just be stressful and,

00:32:23.820 uh,

00:32:25.080 you know,

00:32:25.440 it can be rough,

00:32:25.980 man.

00:32:26.340 So yeah,

00:32:27.140 just letting you know,

00:32:28.020 I,

00:32:28.540 we got in briefly,

00:32:29.560 got out and,

00:32:30.980 uh,

00:32:31.240 you know,

00:32:31.680 if anything,

00:32:32.340 we lost the money on that.

00:32:33.480 So,

00:32:34.120 well,

00:32:34.900 I'm sorry to hear that,

00:32:35.720 man.

00:32:36.000 I appreciate you sharing Amway.

00:32:37.320 I'm guessing that's when they do the baby powder.

00:32:40.720 And yeah,

00:32:41.200 I got caught up in that Amway people.

00:32:43.720 They sell you anything.

00:32:44.760 Hey,

00:32:44.960 don't you want this shampoo?

00:32:46.540 You know,

00:32:46.860 it's got cinnamon at the bottom.

00:32:48.220 You know,

00:32:48.400 it also,

00:32:48.860 it has cinnamon at the bottom,

00:32:50.920 real cinnamon,

00:32:51.600 dude. 0.99

00:32:52.700 I don't give a fuck, 1.00

00:32:53.600 man. 0.99

00:32:54.300 I'm trying to,

00:32:54.860 I'm trying to wash my hair. 0.94

00:32:56.000 This ain't a damn snickerdoodle, 0.97

00:32:57.720 you know? 0.94

00:32:59.320 So I don't get sometimes they're like Amway,

00:33:01.520 like,

00:33:01.760 Oh,

00:33:01.880 you need a,

00:33:02.460 they got everything,

00:33:03.220 you know,

00:33:04.540 they'll get you involved in,

00:33:05.700 uh,

00:33:05.980 they get,

00:33:08.260 yeah,

00:33:08.400 they'll sell you everything.

00:33:09.380 Oh,

00:33:09.660 you need this little,

00:33:10.740 um,

00:33:11.660 this thing of syrup,

00:33:13.160 you know,

00:33:13.980 this thing of syrup,

00:33:14.780 it turns into ice cream at night.

00:33:16.380 Don't you want a couple of scoops of it? 1.00

00:33:18.400 Fuck no, 1.00

00:33:19.120 bro. 1.00

00:33:20.340 How about that?

00:33:21.040 So,

00:33:22.680 but,

00:33:25.200 I don't know,

00:33:27.320 man.

00:33:27.580 I'm sorry you guys got caught in it,

00:33:29.120 but I'll be careful of that.

00:33:30.720 I'll be careful of that pyramid scheme.

00:33:32.320 Who else got schemed out?

00:33:33.460 Let's take a call right now.

00:33:34.760 Gang. 0.66

00:33:35.900 Yo,

00:33:36.400 Miss Vaughn,

00:33:37.400 Dan from Indianapolis.

00:33:38.920 Big Samuel from Indy.

00:33:40.720 And thank you for calling,

00:33:41.620 my friend.

00:33:42.940 I was calling to leave a comment

00:33:44.660 about the pyramid.

00:33:46.740 Well,

00:33:47.040 that's a,

00:33:47.600 yeah,

00:33:47.800 yeah,

00:33:47.920 verbal comment.

00:33:49.120 Gang,

00:33:49.480 brother homework.

00:33:51.320 And my experience with that,

00:33:53.600 uh,

00:33:54.020 yeah,

00:33:54.180 people started calling me that I had

00:33:56.080 talked to in ages,

00:33:57.840 you know,

00:33:58.640 uh,

00:33:59.780 Hey man,

00:34:00.440 I got this program for you.

00:34:02.780 You know,

00:34:03.180 it was like the answer to all your

00:34:04.600 dreams.

00:34:06.120 Um,

00:34:06.520 it's like,

00:34:06.940 okay,

00:34:07.220 man,

00:34:07.720 uh,

00:34:08.640 I haven't talked to you in a long

00:34:09.780 time.

00:34:10.140 I appreciate you thinking of me.

00:34:11.240 I did.

00:34:11.580 I felt like I was loved.

00:34:12.560 Like these people wanted to give me

00:34:14.520 this,

00:34:14.880 uh,

00:34:16.220 this dream.

00:34:17.280 And I was like,

00:34:17.960 okay,

00:34:18.240 I'll go to this meeting.

00:34:19.480 It's like a mix.

00:34:21.100 And dude,

00:34:22.020 it was very culty and very Kool-Aid

00:34:25.700 drinky vibe.

00:34:26.760 And I was instantly freaked out and

00:34:28.780 they were handed out drinks.

00:34:31.160 It was the place that the supplement

00:34:32.760 and they were like,

00:34:34.080 Ooh,

00:34:34.260 try this energy drink packet.

00:34:36.540 Um,

00:34:37.120 which it was good.

00:34:38.200 but looking back,

00:34:39.820 I think it was the Kool-Aid.

00:34:42.660 Right.

00:34:43.600 Yeah.

00:34:44.000 They want you to sip the Kool-Aid.

00:34:45.340 That's the thing.

00:34:46.380 A couple of years ago,

00:34:47.860 I was,

00:34:49.260 you know,

00:34:49.920 living my life.

00:34:52.160 And they said,

00:34:54.300 Hey,

00:34:54.400 do you want to come perform at this

00:34:56.000 function?

00:34:56.740 And I think it was like a couple thousand bucks.

00:35:01.440 They said,

00:35:01.840 do you want to come perform at this function?

00:35:03.380 It might've been $1,500.

00:35:06.300 And just come in the back and we're,

00:35:09.160 you know,

00:35:09.860 we'll meet you back there and come in and you'll be going on the stage.

00:35:12.760 You're going to perform for a little while.

00:35:14.680 And then Suzanne Sommer is going to do it. 1.00

00:35:17.780 And Suzanne Sommer is this lady.

00:35:21.140 I mean,

00:35:21.900 she really, 0.99

00:35:22.960 she looks like she has a real strong kind of butthole on her, 1.00

00:35:26.680 to be honest. 0.99

00:35:28.700 And I know,

00:35:29.480 I don't,

00:35:29.740 I've never said that about anyone actually,

00:35:31.900 but it looks like her,

00:35:33.980 you know,

00:35:34.740 her little B hole could probably, 1.00

00:35:39.760 I bet it could,

00:35:41.280 I bet it could probably blow a bubble with some gum if it has gum in it.

00:35:50.100 So that's what I'm kind of saying.

00:35:51.440 Look like she just has a really,

00:35:52.620 she,

00:35:52.760 cause she's real strong.

00:35:53.560 She always does leg fitness and,

00:35:55.060 um,

00:35:56.000 glute fit and,

00:35:57.240 you know,

00:35:57.540 glute fitness.

00:36:00.200 And glute is just so you don't say,

00:36:02.260 but that's all glute is.

00:36:04.180 But,

00:36:04.680 um,

00:36:06.040 so I was there.

00:36:07.700 I go in the back,

00:36:08.920 I go on stage,

00:36:09.640 I perform.

00:36:10.260 It's a little bizarre.

00:36:11.100 It's like all these people sitting in there,

00:36:13.320 you know,

00:36:13.580 one dude has on like a top hat.

00:36:15.880 People are like screaming,

00:36:17.380 you know,

00:36:17.660 and fired up.

00:36:18.880 And,

00:36:19.720 um,

00:36:20.920 and there's like a clock that's counting down on the wall.

00:36:23.400 Like,

00:36:24.240 you know,

00:36:25.340 uh,

00:36:26.000 I don't remember what it said,

00:36:27.320 like 40 minutes or something.

00:36:29.540 So then I get done performing.

00:36:30.920 I go back backstage.

00:36:32.180 I haven't even been to the front of the event.

00:36:34.820 So they say,

00:36:35.560 look,

00:36:35.740 man,

00:36:36.000 if you want to go around front,

00:36:37.220 get you a little chocolate cake.

00:36:39.480 Cause they were doing dinner when I was on stage and they had just gotten in it to the dessert portion of the evening.

00:36:47.880 And I'll be honest.

00:36:48.740 I love a dessert.

00:36:49.540 All right.

00:36:49.800 You know,

00:36:51.820 I'm sick of people acting like we just like dinner, 1.00

00:36:53.680 bitch. 1.00

00:36:53.840 I like it all. 1.00

00:36:54.920 Okay.

00:36:55.520 I want dessert.

00:36:56.540 I want that.

00:36:57.320 I want lime slices. 1.00

00:36:58.520 I want it all bitch. 1.00

00:37:00.120 Okay. 1.00

00:37:00.760 That's who I am.

00:37:01.780 I'm sick of sitting at the menu.

00:37:04.600 Every time we get the menu,

00:37:05.480 I have to look at all the other stuff first,

00:37:07.260 but give me a menu that just has dessert on it and I'll be fine.

00:37:16.200 Okay.

00:37:16.980 I'll have nine scoops of ice cream.

00:37:20.820 That's fine,

00:37:21.860 bro.

00:37:23.620 I actually,

00:37:24.160 I wish they served everything in ice cream,

00:37:26.820 salad,

00:37:27.340 ice cream,

00:37:28.100 steak,

00:37:28.600 ice cream,

00:37:29.240 pork chop,

00:37:31.120 ice cream,

00:37:31.840 dude.

00:37:32.020 I would have it.

00:37:38.160 What are they talking about?

00:37:44.580 Oh,

00:37:45.180 so I go around front.

00:37:46.340 I go in.

00:37:47.240 Then I'm now,

00:37:47.780 so now I'm able to see the stage from the front and see what everybody else is seeing.

00:37:50.940 There's like this countdown clock of like when the new product is going to launch.

00:37:55.300 There's like all of these.

00:37:56.660 It was called like,

00:37:57.560 yeah,

00:38:00.500 it was like a vitamin thing,

00:38:01.380 like power Vi or something or some,

00:38:04.120 I don't know what it was,

00:38:05.540 dude.

00:38:05.780 And they had these patches you put on your head and it helps you sleep and stuff.

00:38:09.060 And one you put under your neck or whatever,

00:38:10.740 and it keeps ants off your body.

00:38:12.940 They had,

00:38:13.740 they had one pat,

00:38:16.640 they had like these other,

00:38:18.120 yeah,

00:38:18.380 this patches,

00:38:19.020 you put them on your shoulder and you,

00:38:20.440 you know,

00:38:20.900 you'll never think about your ex-girlfriend or something,

00:38:23.400 or,

00:38:23.900 you know,

00:38:24.200 they got these patches.

00:38:25.800 It's like,

00:38:26.480 you put them on the back of your legs and you can drive better, 0.99

00:38:29.700 just all kind of bullshit. 0.92

00:38:32.180 But everybody was in there and they were fired up and the new patches were about to launch. 0.98

00:38:36.400 And I was like, 0.98

00:38:39.480 holy shit, 0.99

00:38:40.060 man, 1.00

00:38:40.160 I just performed at a pyramid scheme.

00:38:43.480 I didn't realize.

00:38:44.660 I was like, 1.00

00:38:45.100 damn, 0.99

00:38:45.380 I just performed at a pyramid scheme. 1.00

00:38:48.200 And I look on stage and Suzanne Somers up there with that strong ass fricking back, 1.00

00:38:54.120 you know, 0.99

00:38:54.640 that back jaw.

00:38:56.140 She got that real hardy back jaw.

00:38:59.420 And,

00:38:59.520 and she was talking about something.

00:39:06.700 Magnesium,

00:39:07.160 I think,

00:39:07.520 or something.

00:39:07.920 I don't know,

00:39:08.440 but,

00:39:08.800 but yeah,

00:39:09.700 we all get caught up.

00:39:11.420 We all get caught up.

00:39:13.460 Yeah,

00:39:13.580 I lost a thousand as a child.

00:39:16.600 And I remember getting high when I was young with two,

00:39:20.100 with the same kid I lost the money with,

00:39:23.700 you know,

00:39:24.400 little Charlie.

00:39:25.540 And he was real,

00:39:26.300 real white,

00:39:27.540 real white guy.

00:39:28.580 And he wore a lot of,

00:39:29.400 um,

00:39:31.100 Western type of clothing.

00:39:33.840 He had good posture.

00:39:35.880 And he,

00:39:36.260 he,

00:39:37.000 he was heavily garbed Western style.

00:39:42.520 He was,

00:39:42.840 you know,

00:39:43.140 like a Western style omelet.

00:39:45.380 He was like a Western style human.

00:39:48.440 And one night we got high with a couple of urban gentlemen,

00:39:51.020 little Clarence and somebody else.

00:39:52.720 I don't remember Christopher.

00:39:53.860 I think his name was beautiful.

00:39:55.520 Boy,

00:39:56.020 long arms.

00:39:57.900 I mean, 0.99

00:39:58.420 this kid could fucking, 1.00

00:39:59.440 he could, 1.00

00:39:59.940 he could rescue somebody who had fallen down in a hole easily.

00:40:04.200 And we all got real high.

00:40:07.280 One time we're driving in this 84 Ford Escort I had.

00:40:13.620 And they,

00:40:14.500 uh,

00:40:14.920 and I got so high,

00:40:17.180 I was like,

00:40:17.420 Oh,

00:40:17.580 you know,

00:40:17.760 what'd be funny is if I pull over and say the car won't start and they'll all get out of the car and be looking under the hood.

00:40:23.980 And it was midnight,

00:40:25.100 man.

00:40:25.340 It was nighttime,

00:40:25.360 man.

00:40:25.380 It was nighttime,

00:40:26.240 you know,

00:40:26.520 darkness had set.

00:40:29.600 So I roll,

00:40:30.640 uh,

00:40:30.940 uh,

00:40:31.220 on the other side of the interstate.

00:40:32.360 I was like,

00:40:32.660 dang,

00:40:33.020 man,

00:40:33.360 car won't start guys. 1.00

00:40:34.920 So they're all fucking high as fuck. 1.00

00:40:37.700 And so was I also. 1.00

00:40:39.440 So everybody was.

00:40:41.500 And they get out the car and,

00:40:44.400 uh,

00:40:47.060 and they were looking under the hood for so long,

00:40:49.660 man.

00:40:51.440 And dude, 0.98

00:40:52.100 I was laughing so fucking hard. 0.85

00:40:57.120 I never laughed so hard in my life, 0.98

00:40:59.240 man.

00:41:00.920 I never laughed so hard in my life.

00:41:04.040 They're like,

00:41:04.700 what is there?

00:41:05.280 Like a floor.

00:41:06.100 Floor it,

00:41:06.500 you know? 0.99

00:41:07.680 Cause if you don't know shit about, 0.99

00:41:09.280 you know, 0.97

00:41:10.080 when cars are broken,

00:41:11.160 here's what you do.

00:41:12.560 You go,

00:41:13.280 you open the hood,

00:41:14.820 your buddy's in there.

00:41:15.760 You say,

00:41:16.000 Hey bro,

00:41:16.400 floor it.

00:41:18.140 And he'll floor it.

00:41:19.160 It makes a loud sound.

00:41:20.600 And then you say,

00:41:21.340 Hey,

00:41:22.040 I don't know what the problem is,

00:41:23.480 bro.

00:41:25.280 Um,

00:41:26.720 so yeah,

00:41:27.480 man,

00:41:27.720 they had,

00:41:28.360 uh,

00:41:28.700 and I just kept telling them that it wouldn't start.

00:41:31.940 I just kept telling them that it would not start.

00:41:34.040 I don't know why I did it,

00:41:37.200 but God,

00:41:38.540 it's still just good times.

00:41:41.200 You got to have fun with people.

00:41:42.340 You got to have fun with yourself.

00:41:43.420 Let's take another call.

00:41:44.280 He came in about the scheme.

00:41:45.540 What's up,

00:41:46.120 Theo?

00:41:46.740 It's CJ from home of Louisiana.

00:41:49.440 Big CJ down there in Homa.

00:41:51.780 And,

00:41:52.180 uh,

00:41:52.480 they,

00:41:52.760 they used to,

00:41:53.460 yeah,

00:41:53.600 people would be like,

00:41:54.240 Oh, 0.99

00:41:54.360 they got a lot of homosexuals out there. 0.98

00:41:56.460 And that means just people from Homa. 0.98

00:41:59.080 And that's not what you,

00:42:00.460 you know,

00:42:00.720 it doesn't mean you,

00:42:01.560 you prefer someone of the same sex.

00:42:04.700 So,

00:42:05.240 uh,

00:42:05.900 good to hear from your brother onward.

00:42:08.280 Nine,

00:42:08.480 eight,

00:42:08.680 five,

00:42:09.380 baby gang,

00:42:10.340 bro.

00:42:10.680 I actually got into a pyramid scheme because of my mom. 1.00

00:42:13.640 I was actually my mom's first customer.

00:42:16.300 And,

00:42:16.640 uh,

00:42:17.260 dang.

00:42:20.680 Now that's dark arts,

00:42:22.300 bro.

00:42:23.380 Hmm.

00:42:23.620 man,

00:42:26.620 you really,

00:42:27.660 that's wild.

00:42:28.480 Let's hear more.

00:42:29.220 Uh,

00:42:29.580 yeah,

00:42:29.860 I had to give her $600,

00:42:31.240 which was all the money I had because I was only like 18 at the time,

00:42:34.500 17,

00:42:34.940 18.

00:42:36.160 Oh,

00:42:36.920 man.

00:42:38.680 That's when they got me too,

00:42:39.920 man.

00:42:40.080 When I was young and we found out one of my buddies,

00:42:43.960 his parents,

00:42:44.460 he got duped and his parents got duped.

00:42:46.700 Let's hear more.

00:42:48.520 And,

00:42:48.980 uh,

00:42:49.180 then I got my cousins involved in it.

00:42:51.820 Oh,

00:42:52.260 man.

00:42:54.600 Dude,

00:42:55.040 it ruined and it ruins families.

00:42:57.500 Uh,

00:42:57.860 so then that got their money.

00:43:00.380 Yeah.

00:43:00.820 Cause cousins, 1.00

00:43:01.500 they'll do all kinds of shit, 1.00

00:43:02.560 bro. 1.00

00:43:02.900 Cousins,

00:43:03.860 you know,

00:43:05.300 they,

00:43:05.680 especially second or third cousins.

00:43:07.180 If you can't even make first chair when it comes to being a cousin,

00:43:10.100 bro,

00:43:11.580 dog.

00:43:13.420 Yeah.

00:43:13.820 I'll get you into a pyramid scheme because we don't have that for, 0.95

00:43:16.920 you know,

00:43:17.640 you second,

00:43:18.400 third cousin,

00:43:19.140 dude,

00:43:19.460 dude,

00:43:19.540 you might as well be a,

00:43:22.680 almost an enemy.

00:43:24.560 Homer.

00:43:25.400 So we were all kind of involved in it,

00:43:27.240 but they would make us go to these trips out to like different states and stuff and do these like conventions.

00:43:33.020 I went to this one convention in Vegas and I like,

00:43:36.000 basically I just like slept on the floor in someone's hotel room and,

00:43:41.480 uh,

00:43:41.680 it was pretty awkward.

00:43:42.700 Uh,

00:43:42.920 it's probably the worst experience being in Las Vegas at 17,

00:43:46.900 18.

00:43:47.600 But yeah,

00:43:48.100 pretty much the falling out was just like,

00:43:50.180 obviously we didn't make any money.

00:43:52.340 Yeah.

00:43:52.600 I lost a lot of friendships trying to get people in the business.

00:43:55.380 Uh,

00:43:55.820 a lot of high school friendships and,

00:43:57.460 uh,

00:43:57.880 some family members and my mom never gave me that $600 back.

00:44:01.120 So,

00:44:01.400 uh,

00:44:02.020 gang gang. 1.00

00:44:03.500 Damn, 1.00

00:44:04.700 man is, 1.00

00:44:07.240 you know,

00:44:07.580 it's hard when you mix money and family,

00:44:09.040 when you mix stuff like that.

00:44:11.880 Sorry,

00:44:12.400 I just had another,

00:44:13.620 I had another one.

00:44:16.220 Hmm.

00:44:16.580 And this one's starting to be,

00:44:17.880 I'm having a little bit too many.

00:44:21.380 Um,

00:44:22.660 it's hard when you mix family and the money and everybody's people fist fighting.

00:44:28.600 Me and my friend,

00:44:29.420 we didn't talk for a long time because of the pyramid scheme.

00:44:31.740 Cause he lost the money and I lost the money.

00:44:34.340 And we had a square and we kept calling somebody else.

00:44:36.740 And then somebody died and they didn't man.

00:44:43.700 Yeah.

00:44:44.060 I don't know who wins.

00:44:44.880 Cause I wonder if there's just somebody who's just going town to town,

00:44:47.340 just,

00:44:47.820 you know,

00:44:50.140 like just Jerry pyramid and he's winning them all.

00:44:53.120 But I'm sorry about that.

00:44:54.360 Did you went to Vegas?

00:44:56.100 Hmm.

00:44:58.240 I mean,

00:44:58.640 you really went through it brother.

00:45:01.000 And it haunts you,

00:45:01.980 man.

00:45:02.120 That's the thing.

00:45:03.660 It haunts you.

00:45:06.820 I still get a little mad about that,

00:45:08.900 but I'm glad I only lost that,

00:45:11.800 that,

00:45:12.000 that little bit in the beginning.

00:45:13.500 And I'm glad you only lost that 600.

00:45:16.920 And they're going to get me again.

00:45:18.180 That's it.

00:45:19.160 Onward.

00:45:19.960 Hey,

00:45:20.180 what's up,

00:45:20.620 Theo?

00:45:20.900 This is Landon.

00:45:21.860 I'm from Dallas,

00:45:22.740 Texas.

00:45:24.000 Big Landon down there in Dallas.

00:45:26.940 And I like Dallas,

00:45:28.120 man.

00:45:28.300 I definitely have been down there and,

00:45:32.400 you know,

00:45:34.740 gotten involved in some,

00:45:38.120 you know,

00:45:39.540 I don't honestly,

00:45:40.320 man, 0.70

00:45:40.420 I felt some pretty hard titties down there in Dallas a long time ago. 0.92

00:45:44.100 Back when the hard titties was more popular, 0.91

00:45:48.840 more currently living in LA though.

00:45:50.700 I just wanted to call in about pyramid schemes.

00:45:53.980 You know,

00:45:54.480 you were talking about that shady triangle.

00:45:56.880 I personally haven't been in one,

00:45:58.840 but my mom was that real pyramid scheme queen. 1.00

00:46:02.000 Hmm.

00:46:03.520 Oh yeah.

00:46:05.440 One of those mid biddies, 0.92

00:46:07.160 bro.

00:46:07.500 Gang. 0.66

00:46:08.180 She,

00:46:08.600 she loved it.

00:46:09.620 She finally got out of it.

00:46:10.860 Thank God.

00:46:11.700 But she's teetering.

00:46:12.940 I could see her ordering things again.

00:46:15.200 She used to order a lot of packages to our door of different types of 1.00

00:46:19.360 accoutrements that you would get in a pyramid scheme.

00:46:22.480 She would try to rank up.

00:46:23.940 I remember one time she said she was about five sales away from getting a free

00:46:28.500 BMW.

00:46:29.840 We still drive a Chevy.

00:46:31.540 She did probably about five pyramid schemes when I was a child. 1.00

00:46:34.920 Damn. 1.00

00:46:35.320 So your mom's like the, 1.00

00:46:37.600 basically the Ayatollah or whatever,

00:46:41.260 man.

00:46:41.380 She's like the Egyptian queen, 0.96

00:46:42.680 really Euphrates or something.

00:46:44.900 You know what I'm saying?

00:46:45.580 But she's,

00:46:46.840 that's crazy.

00:46:47.860 Yeah.

00:46:47.980 And you're always five cars away.

00:46:49.720 You're always five sales away from winning it.

00:46:51.780 You know,

00:46:52.620 the little,

00:46:53.520 you know,

00:46:53.880 homemade starburst maker or whatever,

00:46:56.240 or,

00:46:56.460 you know,

00:46:56.640 something,

00:46:57.960 you know,

00:46:58.480 one of them little ice cream makers or whatever you can have at the

00:47:01.100 house,

00:47:01.480 snow cone maker, 1.00

00:47:02.820 then piece of shit, 1.00

00:47:04.460 dude. 1.00

00:47:05.100 I remember buying a snow cone maker one time. 1.00

00:47:07.860 This bitch was about $9. 1.00

00:47:11.940 And it was basically just like a little hatchet, 0.99

00:47:14.260 kind of like a little kind of very,

00:47:16.340 not even a hard hatchet,

00:47:17.520 like a little safe ax and like a little cup in there. 0.99

00:47:20.840 And you had to like bring your own ice and beat that shit up. 1.00

00:47:23.840 And Jesus Christ, 1.00

00:47:25.640 man,

00:47:25.960 I wish I just had never gotten bought in that thing.

00:47:28.420 I think took a couple of years off my life. 0.99

00:47:29.980 The stress of trying to just make a damn cold treat for myself, 0.98

00:47:33.660 you know, 0.98

00:47:35.000 when I was young,

00:47:35.800 but still kind of haunted by that.

00:47:38.920 Let's take another call here,

00:47:40.160 man.

00:47:40.320 And the hotline is always 985-664-9503.

00:47:47.340 Again,

00:47:47.740 we got that out,

00:47:48.660 that Lafayette show.

00:47:50.320 Also want to thank,

00:47:51.120 we got some beautiful pumpkins here in studio today.

00:47:53.560 And,

00:47:55.080 and they're done by Mr.

00:47:56.460 Brian Johnson.

00:47:57.660 And I'll put them on the Instagram and tag him.

00:47:59.480 And he does some really amazing art.

00:48:02.380 And,

00:48:02.640 uh,

00:48:02.900 Brian Johnson Studios

00:48:04.160 is his,

00:48:05.820 uh,

00:48:06.540 his IG handle.

00:48:08.800 Sorry,

00:48:09.320 Brian,

00:48:09.880 B-R-I-N 1.00

00:48:10.760 Johnson

00:48:11.380 Studio.

00:48:12.920 And he did some real cool ones with the cartoon.

00:48:16.320 Um,

00:48:17.840 Rat King.

00:48:20.040 Yeah,

00:48:20.480 he really got into it.

00:48:21.740 And,

00:48:22.440 uh,

00:48:22.940 and,

00:48:24.440 and it,

00:48:25.140 and it's that time.

00:48:28.840 This past weekend is brought to you by Skillshare.

00:48:32.320 Skillshare is an online learning community for creators.

00:48:36.040 With more than 25,000 classes in design,

00:48:39.460 business,

00:48:40.020 and more.

00:48:41.160 You'll discover so many ways to,

00:48:42.880 to stay curious and creative.

00:48:45.020 Let me say,

00:48:45.840 I think creativity is one of the things that dies fast.

00:48:49.700 It really does.

00:48:51.100 You know,

00:48:52.900 we get locked in this cauldron of just commonality and to be creative and to say,

00:48:58.140 you know,

00:48:58.520 to keep the,

00:48:59.060 the K,

00:48:59.700 the caverns of your mind open.

00:49:02.300 Um,

00:49:02.740 it's tough.

00:49:03.320 It's a fight.

00:49:03.920 It's a battle.

00:49:04.540 And you got to battle for that.

00:49:06.960 You got to battle for that square footage of freedom.

00:49:10.900 And,

00:49:11.000 uh,

00:49:11.420 and Skillshare will help you.

00:49:13.180 You can take classes in social media marketing,

00:49:15.500 mobile photography,

00:49:17.200 uh,

00:49:17.560 even illustration.

00:49:19.260 Skillshare is there to keep you learning.

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00:49:22.840 Try it.

00:49:23.980 They have a,

00:49:24.520 a class graphic design basics,

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00:49:29.520 Join the millions of students already learning on Skillshare today with a special offer just for my listeners.

00:49:35.040 Get two months of Skillshare for free.

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00:49:49.460 go to Skillshare.com slash Theo Vaughn.

00:49:52.200 Again,

00:49:52.720 go to Skillshare.com slash Theo Vaughn to start your two months now.

00:49:58.620 Um,

00:49:59.340 yeah,

00:50:01.220 you're always five sales away from a BMW,

00:50:03.260 man.

00:50:03.500 You know,

00:50:07.120 yeah,

00:50:07.300 that's,

00:50:07.960 you know,

00:50:08.460 we're always just on the verge.

00:50:10.640 We're just on the verge.

00:50:12.380 Dude,

00:50:12.860 you know,

00:50:13.260 right after Halloween,

00:50:14.100 it's going to be Thanksgiving.

00:50:15.660 I mean,

00:50:15.920 it's going to be like fast and then it's going to be Christmas and then it's going to be New Year's.

00:50:20.540 It's going to be fast.

00:50:23.620 Dude,

00:50:24.040 that's like when you never hear a kid say like,

00:50:25.740 oh yeah,

00:50:25.920 I'm seven and a half.

00:50:27.060 It's like,

00:50:27.440 bro, 0.98

00:50:28.060 nobody gives a shit about the half, 0.97

00:50:31.040 dude. 0.96

00:50:31.340 Nobody's milling around being like,

00:50:35.660 oh,

00:50:35.880 is he going to get there?

00:50:38.320 You know,

00:50:38.880 nobody's looking at you one day and like,

00:50:40.460 oh,

00:50:40.700 he's seven years and 56%.

00:50:43.860 Okay.

00:50:45.980 So,

00:50:46.420 you know,

00:50:47.380 uh,

00:50:47.860 you know,

00:50:48.220 tone it down a little bucko.

00:50:51.200 Oh yeah,

00:50:51.980 I'm 50.

00:50:52.540 Yeah,

00:50:52.820 I'm 50 and a half.

00:50:54.080 You know what I'm saying?

00:50:54.720 That's the weirdest dude.

00:50:56.320 Some guy who's like 50 and a half years old.

00:50:58.920 And he tells you that that dude,

00:51:02.000 that,

00:51:02.220 that guy's from somewhere else,

00:51:03.500 bro.

00:51:03.940 Maybe Dutch or something. 0.99

00:51:06.060 You know,

00:51:06.560 the Dutch are real aerodynamic as well.

00:51:08.540 I don't know if we've,

00:51:09.900 if I've brought that up or not,

00:51:11.300 but if you want to see somebody go downhill quickly and,

00:51:15.300 and really be good at it,

00:51:20.660 that's the Dutch.

00:51:21.920 They're so aerodynamic.

00:51:23.940 You can't beat it.

00:51:25.320 No one can.

00:51:27.240 Um,

00:51:27.760 let's say a Patreon question came in.

00:51:31.380 Uh,

00:51:31.880 what did I do this weekend?

00:51:32.660 Oh,

00:51:32.840 I went to,

00:51:34.400 I just did comedy.

00:51:35.520 Actually,

00:51:36.020 I had four sets.

00:51:37.860 I had a bunch of sets this week working on some new material and it felt real good,

00:51:42.500 uh,

00:51:43.060 to get back on stage.

00:51:44.020 I haven't been on,

00:51:44.620 you know,

00:51:45.580 I haven't been inspired really that recently.

00:51:47.880 I don't know what's going on.

00:51:49.120 I just,

00:51:50.200 you know,

00:51:51.120 you know,

00:51:51.440 me,

00:51:51.680 something,

00:51:52.040 I got these ghosts in my brain and,

00:51:55.420 but man,

00:51:56.760 it felt good this weekend.

00:51:57.840 Got out there.

00:52:00.180 Dude,

00:52:00.920 Bobby Lee,

00:52:02.960 um,

00:52:03.840 bless him,

00:52:05.160 showed me pictures.

00:52:06.360 He has pictures of,

00:52:07.820 uh,

00:52:09.220 his father,

00:52:09.960 when his father was deceased,

00:52:11.380 he has pictures in there with him and his father and his family and the dad's laying there.

00:52:17.220 You know,

00:52:18.740 gone.

00:52:19.280 I mean,

00:52:19.360 the dad is gone.

00:52:20.140 His spirit's gone on,

00:52:21.140 but they're milling around with the,

00:52:24.000 uh,

00:52:25.860 with the,

00:52:26.820 with the dad bod,

00:52:28.480 I guess you call it dad bod.

00:52:30.260 Yeah,

00:52:30.720 they're milling around with the dad bod.

00:52:32.560 So that was,

00:52:33.560 and he showed us the pictures.

00:52:36.400 He showed us the pictures.

00:52:37.620 I think it's like a traditional Korean thing where,

00:52:40.540 you know,

00:52:41.480 you,

00:52:41.940 you know,

00:52:44.380 show pictures of your,

00:52:45.580 you know,

00:52:46.040 kind of like honor your parents or something.

00:52:49.020 Cause they used to do hieroglyphs.

00:52:50.540 They would,

00:52:50.800 you know,

00:52:50.940 if your parents died,

00:52:51.780 they would draw it on the wall.

00:52:53.980 You know,

00:52:54.420 they get a little sword or something and draw it on the wall.

00:52:56.540 But now that,

00:52:57.400 you know,

00:52:59.160 you can't,

00:52:59.720 people don't draw on their walls as much because it's not caves and stuff.

00:53:02.580 People,

00:53:02.920 you know,

00:53:03.040 everybody's wants to resell their house.

00:53:05.140 So,

00:53:05.480 and he showed us the images,

00:53:08.260 dude.

00:53:08.420 It was very,

00:53:10.180 very interesting.

00:53:11.600 It's kind of beautiful though.

00:53:12.800 Kind of beautiful.

00:53:15.100 Um,

00:53:15.460 here's a question that came in from Alex Gebhardt.

00:53:18.460 Duh,

00:53:18.960 Tuh,

00:53:19.300 Tuh,

00:53:19.380 Tuh,

00:53:19.940 Tuh.

00:53:20.980 Theo,

00:53:21.280 I've declared myself the world's worst procrastinator.

00:53:23.840 I'm currently taking a coding course and I'm behind so many assignments cause I just don't want to do them.

00:53:29.240 Do you ever have problems procrastinating and what do you do to pull yourself out of it?

00:53:32.380 Yeah,

00:53:34.360 man,

00:53:34.560 I do.

00:53:35.720 And I have problems.

00:53:36.840 I'm upset at procrastinating years ago.

00:53:40.340 I'm upset for things.

00:53:41.400 I mean,

00:53:41.580 most of my twenties was procrastinating.

00:53:44.660 And honestly,

00:53:45.560 man,

00:53:45.840 just chasing leg,

00:53:46.880 chasing woman,

00:53:48.200 you know,

00:53:48.460 chasing,

00:53:48.940 uh,

00:53:49.720 you know,

00:53:51.480 chasing titty boy.

00:53:53.500 So,

00:53:55.300 uh,

00:53:56.800 so yeah,

00:53:59.020 I got that,

00:54:00.240 man.

00:54:00.480 What do I do to pull myself out of it?

00:54:03.280 Well,

00:54:03.380 some of it I notice is my nature.

00:54:06.140 You know,

00:54:06.540 I'm kind of that,

00:54:07.280 you know,

00:54:07.640 I'm that last chance Lance.

00:54:09.060 I do well at the end.

00:54:11.420 You know,

00:54:11.820 I do well at the end.

00:54:12.780 I do well when the pressure's on,

00:54:14.420 but you know,

00:54:15.800 when I do really well,

00:54:17.140 when,

00:54:19.260 when I start early,

00:54:21.600 that's when I really,

00:54:23.700 really do.

00:54:24.160 I find excellent stuff.

00:54:25.540 Um,

00:54:27.840 so I think just motivation,

00:54:30.800 you know,

00:54:31.520 life is a program of action.

00:54:34.440 I talked to a friend this week.

00:54:36.200 I was,

00:54:36.640 you know,

00:54:39.300 having a tough time with some stuff the past couple of weeks.

00:54:41.540 And so,

00:54:42.660 you know,

00:54:43.940 and I,

00:54:44.220 and I'm always thinking about things.

00:54:45.700 I'm always thinking about how I feel and feeling about how I think.

00:54:49.420 And he said,

00:54:50.100 Hey man,

00:54:50.340 life's a program.

00:54:51.200 It's a,

00:54:51.460 it's a,

00:54:51.780 it's a program of action.

00:54:53.880 We could think and feel and that's okay.

00:54:56.060 Those things are real.

00:54:57.780 And we need to do that.

00:54:59.260 We need to process what's going on with us and,

00:55:01.480 and share with other people.

00:55:03.280 So we don't have like these things trapped in us.

00:55:05.620 But at a certain point,

00:55:07.920 it's a,

00:55:08.860 it's a program of action.

00:55:11.520 People that win are people that act people that achieve their goals or their dreams or get what they want.

00:55:17.120 It's people that take action.

00:55:18.860 That's it.

00:55:20.700 And the other stuff is good,

00:55:22.180 but it's really,

00:55:22.940 it's a program of action.

00:55:26.480 And,

00:55:26.860 and it's hard for me to stomach that sometimes,

00:55:28.620 but it's the truth.

00:55:31.100 And yeah,

00:55:31.560 if you're so far behind,

00:55:32.660 man,

00:55:32.780 I think set aside a day,

00:55:33.960 go to the library,

00:55:34.940 make it something fun.

00:55:36.020 Go have kind of a new experience.

00:55:38.240 I'm going to get me a coffee.

00:55:39.340 I'm going to go to the library.

00:55:40.500 I'm going to do my work.

00:55:42.780 I'm going to get done what I need to do.

00:55:45.640 I'm going to get a classmate to hold me accountable.

00:55:47.620 Say,

00:55:48.200 uh,

00:55:49.540 you,

00:55:50.140 you want to work on this together.

00:55:51.580 Can we do that?

00:55:54.240 Um,

00:55:55.080 because I'll tell you this,

00:55:57.300 dude,

00:55:58.440 if you're procrastinating now,

00:56:02.160 that kind of stuff doesn't go away very easily.

00:56:05.720 You know,

00:56:06.200 you really have to make some efforts for change if you want to.

00:56:10.860 Now,

00:56:11.260 if you're just going to procrastinate all the time,

00:56:12.600 don't be too hard on yourself.

00:56:13.660 That's what I do.

00:56:14.340 You know,

00:56:14.740 I'm always beating myself up instead of enjoying my procrastination.

00:56:18.180 Get a pizza,

00:56:19.200 bro.

00:56:20.020 You know what I'm saying? 1.00

00:56:20.760 Get a fucking ice cream. 1.00

00:56:21.900 Get some pizza ice cream. 1.00

00:56:24.380 And douse yourself out,

00:56:25.700 dude.

00:56:27.600 And live it right,

00:56:28.760 bro.

00:56:29.520 Gang. 0.66

00:56:29.880 Uh,

00:56:32.760 this is a Patreon question came in.

00:56:34.100 Amanda Grayson.

00:56:36.040 After working in corrections for the last two years,

00:56:38.700 I've seen what the dark arts can do to people.

00:56:41.320 Can you offer some suggestions on how to stay kind and not be cynical in a negative and manipulative environment?

00:56:49.140 Wow.

00:56:49.540 I can only imagine what that's like.

00:56:52.580 You know,

00:56:53.040 you're in corrections,

00:56:53.740 you go in there every day and you're working really with the,

00:56:56.160 with the outcasts and the,

00:56:58.960 the dregs and the people that are evil and afflicted and also people that are mentally not well. 0.95

00:57:05.060 Um,

00:57:05.600 people that have been neglected.

00:57:06.880 I mean,

00:57:07.020 you're working in the bottom.

00:57:09.140 You're working at a very unique layer of humanity.

00:57:15.420 Uh,

00:57:16.220 and also in a layer where you guys are probably perceived as the enemy.

00:57:23.100 Even though you're just somebody that's going in and clocking in a work,

00:57:25.860 you didn't make the choices for this person.

00:57:28.980 You know,

00:57:29.600 you didn't set the circumstances.

00:57:31.840 You weren't the parents of them that set the,

00:57:34.180 you know,

00:57:35.000 set the framework of their life.

00:57:37.460 But you're really,

00:57:38.400 you're having to live,

00:57:39.300 you know,

00:57:39.520 with,

00:57:39.860 uh,

00:57:40.960 with what's,

00:57:41.580 you know,

00:57:42.340 you're having to be there,

00:57:43.180 work frontline with them.

00:57:45.980 Hmm.

00:57:48.120 You know,

00:57:48.600 I have trouble with it too.

00:57:49.700 I have trouble being cynical and being judgmental.

00:57:51.760 And I think,

00:57:55.020 uh,

00:57:55.440 you know,

00:57:55.740 praying for your enemy can really help praying for your enemy.

00:58:00.520 You know,

00:58:01.200 uh,

00:58:01.520 just try to do,

00:58:02.740 do what's right.

00:58:04.960 And if they see it,

00:58:06.560 you know,

00:58:07.260 if people see it,

00:58:08.040 some of them will see it.

00:58:09.180 Some of them will remember.

00:58:12.220 You know,

00:58:12.640 it's so funny to me,

00:58:13.400 the people that influenced me in my life.

00:58:15.100 If you went back and looked at my life and you let somebody else say,

00:58:19.780 Hey,

00:58:19.880 pick out the people that influenced this fella.

00:58:22.880 I don't know.

00:58:23.460 You might not get them right.

00:58:25.920 Cause sometimes it was just certain moments when I was willing to hear somebody or when I was,

00:58:31.600 you know,

00:58:31.940 somebody could tell me something a million times and I couldn't hear it.

00:58:34.580 but then one day,

00:58:36.460 you know,

00:58:36.740 um,

00:58:38.660 you know,

00:58:39.220 a basketball coach or a camp counselor or somebody just had,

00:58:42.620 you know,

00:58:42.820 who had me in a certain,

00:58:44.260 you know,

00:58:44.420 just in a certain moment or a certain place where I was feeling,

00:58:49.160 I was willing to hear what was going on or willing to hear some advice or suggestion.

00:58:54.880 And,

00:58:55.360 uh,

00:58:55.600 and I would,

00:58:56.920 you know,

00:58:57.740 it's just kind of interesting.

00:58:59.260 So I think just do your best,

00:59:00.760 be an example.

00:59:02.820 Uh,

00:59:03.980 but also at some points,

00:59:05.540 man,

00:59:05.760 you,

00:59:05.960 you're down there dealing with people that some of them is just,

00:59:09.240 they,

00:59:09.680 they're just an extension of,

00:59:11.100 uh,

00:59:12.060 of the devil.

00:59:12.760 You out there,

00:59:14.360 you know,

00:59:14.920 you really prison is basically,

00:59:16.280 it's like a,

00:59:16.840 it's like the hardies of,

00:59:19.240 uh,

00:59:19.360 of Hades.

00:59:21.940 You know,

00:59:22.480 you got a lot of real devil dwellers out there.

00:59:26.500 So just,

00:59:27.560 you know,

00:59:29.240 do your best and keep the light alive in you because I bet it can be easy to get pulled down.

00:59:35.020 Man,

00:59:35.440 it's like working right out there on just like,

00:59:37.820 it's like almost if you took Hades,

00:59:39.460 it was,

00:59:39.660 it was a piece of water and you put a,

00:59:41.440 just a boat dock out into it.

00:59:43.600 And that's the correctionals.

00:59:45.940 Uh,

00:59:46.340 but I bet there's one or two people you can inspire.

00:59:48.700 So look for them maybe.

00:59:51.240 And I think just maybe see what's similar between you and those people.

00:59:54.300 Listen for the similarities between,

00:59:56.140 because there's some things where you guys are both just human and you'll have very similar.

01:00:00.080 And maybe those would be places where you can make little bridges with people.

01:00:04.960 Um,

01:00:05.340 what's going on?

01:00:06.020 And also,

01:00:06.600 I don't know.

01:00:08.160 You know,

01:00:08.620 I'm just,

01:00:10.260 I don't have any experience down there.

01:00:12.300 But I do know that the dark arts,

01:00:15.580 man,

01:00:15.820 it's,

01:00:16.220 uh,

01:00:16.640 you know,

01:00:18.800 the coffins are open right now and you can hear,

01:00:22.700 you can hear it all happening.

01:00:24.320 All right,

01:00:26.180 let's hit this,

01:00:27.000 um,

01:00:27.720 this call that came in right here.

01:00:29.480 985-664-9503.

01:00:32.180 As well,

01:00:32.760 there's a show at the Wiltern in Los Angeles,

01:00:35.240 December 10th.

01:00:36.340 And that's a,

01:00:38.120 um,

01:00:38.900 that's a show that would be,

01:00:40.040 uh,

01:00:40.780 good to get a ticket to.

01:00:41.760 I think it's almost,

01:00:42.440 uh,

01:00:42.780 nearing sellout.

01:00:44.860 Um,

01:00:46.160 and what else?

01:00:46.940 Oh,

01:00:47.080 I went and met with,

01:00:48.040 uh,

01:00:49.180 you know,

01:00:49.520 we met with a cartoonist company,

01:00:51.940 um,

01:00:53.680 who's made some pretty big cartoons about possibly,

01:00:55.940 uh,

01:00:56.860 doing something with the animations that we've been doing.

01:01:00.080 So that could be pretty cool.

01:01:02.880 You never know,

01:01:04.380 but that could be pretty cool.

01:01:06.460 Um,

01:01:08.860 yeah,

01:01:10.000 and what else?

01:01:10.480 I'm just,

01:01:10.960 you know,

01:01:11.260 I'm starting to feel a little bit less stressed than I was earlier in this year.

01:01:15.560 Man,

01:01:16.000 I really,

01:01:17.260 I was not,

01:01:20.040 I was not doing really well.

01:01:22.660 It was tough.

01:01:24.280 I was having a tough time.

01:01:29.480 Uh,

01:01:29.960 all right,

01:01:30.240 let's keep it trappy,

01:01:31.220 bruh.

01:01:32.040 Um,

01:01:32.920 here we go.

01:01:34.500 Hey,

01:01:34.760 Theo,

01:01:34.980 this is Hunter from,

01:01:36.880 uh,

01:01:37.160 Shelby,

01:01:37.560 North Carolina.

01:01:38.700 What's up Hunter over there in that cackalacky boy,

01:01:42.320 that North Carolina gang,

01:01:44.100 bruh.

01:01:44.560 Give me what you got for a pork chop.

01:01:46.600 Right outside of Charlotte.

01:01:48.100 Uh,

01:01:48.460 so,

01:01:48.900 I got a DWI last thing about a week ago.

01:01:54.980 I'm 25 and,

01:01:57.140 uh,

01:01:57.660 but it's my second DWI.

01:01:59.860 I got my first one when I was 17 and I blew a point.

01:02:03.760 Oh,

01:02:03.920 nine.

01:02:05.280 Well,

01:02:05.800 now I've blown a point.

01:02:07.820 Oh,

01:02:07.960 nine for this one.

01:02:09.680 Oh,

01:02:10.020 wow.

01:02:10.420 So you probably, 1.00

01:02:12.640 you're like the damn rain man of breathalyzers, 1.00

01:02:16.320 bro. 1.00

01:02:16.440 You hitting them numbers,

01:02:17.400 dog.

01:02:17.900 You know what I'm saying?

01:02:18.420 You might want to,

01:02:18.920 uh,

01:02:19.180 play the scratchers or whatever due to,

01:02:20.940 um,

01:02:21.460 pick three onward as well.

01:02:23.080 but it falls within a seven year period to where you can't have two DUIs in North Carolina

01:02:29.400 within seven years or you get mandatory jail time.

01:02:33.680 And,

01:02:33.940 uh,

01:02:34.220 so,

01:02:34.960 you know,

01:02:35.400 I got,

01:02:35.880 I got my old lady and my dog.

01:02:37.580 I was just bought a house.

01:02:38.880 Uh,

01:02:39.240 I had to drop out of school.

01:02:41.260 I guess I'm going to find a job or something somewhere so I can look good to the judge,

01:02:46.440 I guess.

01:02:46.880 But I guess I'm really just stressing this,

01:02:49.680 this going to jail thing.

01:02:52.160 Um,

01:02:53.640 I just wanted to get some,

01:02:55.720 uh,

01:02:56.100 some advice from you and,

01:02:57.560 and,

01:02:58.260 and I guess,

01:02:59.020 uh,

01:02:59.380 just,

01:03:00.820 uh,

01:03:01.100 hear you make something funny about it or something,

01:03:03.120 make me laugh.

01:03:04.000 But,

01:03:04.280 uh,

01:03:04.840 gang,

01:03:05.360 bro.

01:03:06.540 Well,

01:03:07.840 dude,

01:03:08.480 it's hard.

01:03:09.000 I mean,

01:03:09.220 if you really from a place called Chevy,

01:03:11.080 North Carolina,

01:03:11.820 let me look that up.

01:03:12.860 Is that really?

01:03:16.740 Chevy,

01:03:17.640 North Carolina.

01:03:21.840 Uh,

01:03:22.160 I was going to say,

01:03:25.200 dude, 1.00

01:03:25.320 it's hard not to get a DUI when your town is named after a damn truck. 1.00

01:03:29.320 Um, 1.00

01:03:30.960 dude,

01:03:31.480 I can't believe you blew that 0.09 two times.

01:03:33.700 You should tell the judge that.

01:03:36.020 Like,

01:03:36.440 look,

01:03:36.640 I'm the breathalyzer whisperer.

01:03:39.120 Okay. 1.00

01:03:39.540 Every time I puff into that bitch, 1.00

01:03:41.700 I hit the numbers. 1.00

01:03:43.660 You know what I'm saying?

01:03:44.280 You might want to go out.

01:03:45.040 Just telling me,

01:03:45.820 you know,

01:03:46.280 you might want to start being a bookie or something,

01:03:48.480 a breath bookie.

01:03:51.060 And,

01:03:51.480 uh,

01:03:52.240 I mean, 0.98

01:03:54.140 it sucks, 0.99

01:03:54.780 dude. 0.99

01:03:54.960 I,

01:03:55.140 you know,

01:03:55.300 what sucks kind of is if you,

01:03:56.680 you know,

01:03:57.720 if you guys were,

01:03:59.640 you know, 0.98

01:04:00.720 a lot of wealthy people get out of this kind of shit cause they get the right attorneys and blah, 0.99

01:04:04.400 blah, 0.99

01:04:04.580 blah,

01:04:04.820 blah,

01:04:04.920 you know,

01:04:06.540 and,

01:04:06.980 and that's where people,

01:04:09.040 you know,

01:04:09.240 from regular places like us,

01:04:10.820 they don't,

01:04:11.160 we don't have the same opportunity sometimes.

01:04:15.460 Uh,

01:04:16.180 but those people who get out of things like this,

01:04:19.080 they're just kicking the can down the road.

01:04:20.720 They don't learn their lesson.

01:04:22.580 So maybe you just had some bad luck.

01:04:25.880 You know,

01:04:26.400 if you got two and seven years,

01:04:28.120 that's not insane,

01:04:29.040 but it's a,

01:04:31.120 I don't want to say that's a pattern, 0.95

01:04:32.800 but it ain't fucking cool. 0.88

01:04:33.820 You know, 0.88

01:04:34.040 it ain't good.

01:04:35.240 It ain't great.

01:04:37.280 Um,

01:04:37.520 and I know,

01:04:37.860 you know that,

01:04:38.360 man,

01:04:38.460 I'm not trying to preach at you, 1.00

01:04:39.680 but damn, 0.99

01:04:41.560 at least if you go do a little bit of time, 0.99

01:04:43.340 bro,

01:04:43.440 I think your wife will think that's sexy as hell. 0.99

01:04:48.120 You know,

01:04:48.580 having to drop out of school.

01:04:51.160 If you do go in,

01:04:52.260 man,

01:04:52.360 I would just use it as time to,

01:04:53.880 to prepare for something or to,

01:04:55.620 you know,

01:04:55.860 study or to just be,

01:04:57.640 to come out and be,

01:04:58.740 you know,

01:05:00.040 really streamlined,

01:05:00.940 headed into what you want to head into.

01:05:02.440 Um,

01:05:04.540 it may be a good time for you to,

01:05:06.000 cause it'll give you some time to think about stuff.

01:05:07.620 I mean,

01:05:07.740 I'm hoping it's just a couple of months or,

01:05:09.460 you know, 0.99

01:05:10.560 but damn, 1.00

01:05:12.660 bro. 1.00

01:05:12.880 And also you can't be in,

01:05:16.720 people's in there for doing fires and arson,

01:05:19.460 you know,

01:05:19.820 murder,

01:05:21.140 um,

01:05:22.940 you know,

01:05:23.440 outdoor murder,

01:05:24.600 indoor murder,

01:05:25.480 all kinds of stuff.

01:05:26.740 Or,

01:05:27.180 and you in there just for,

01:05:28.980 you know, 0.98

01:05:29.300 you had a couple of bush lights and fucking decided to floor it on the way home. 0.98

01:05:36.740 I think you got to come up with a better, 0.99

01:05:38.980 you got to come up with a good crime that you did.

01:05:42.880 Um,

01:05:46.040 I'm trying to think of a real good crime.

01:05:53.300 Hmm.

01:05:57.580 What's a good crime,

01:05:59.020 dude?

01:06:01.820 You know what?

01:06:02.420 You could always tell me you tickled the cop after they pulled you over,

01:06:05.340 bro.

01:06:05.520 I think there's something kind of wild about that.

01:06:09.680 Cause anybody could shoot somebody or do this or that, 1.00

01:06:12.260 but somebody tickle a damn cop, 1.00

01:06:14.220 bro. 1.00

01:06:16.800 People say,

01:06:17.380 what you in for?

01:06:17.940 He'd be like,

01:06:18.220 ah,

01:06:18.400 I've just been tickling the police,

01:06:20.060 son.

01:06:21.100 Like, 1.00

01:06:21.580 damn. 1.00

01:06:21.980 I'm going to give that guy my, 1.00

01:06:25.140 my,

01:06:25.720 uh,

01:06:26.040 my bread roll.

01:06:28.580 At,

01:06:29.040 uh,

01:06:29.720 at dinner. 0.99

01:06:32.060 Cause that dude's the kind of guy who's fucking not afraid to fucking put both of his, 0.99

01:06:35.420 all 10 of his fingers into a cop's ribs and wiggle them around. 0.99

01:06:38.320 Come on boy.

01:06:41.500 That's something serious,

01:06:42.660 dude.

01:06:42.900 So yeah,

01:06:43.180 I would tell people,

01:06:43.780 you know,

01:06:43.940 for tickling the police,

01:06:45.140 bro. 0.98

01:06:46.040 Cause there's something kind of fucking artsy about that, 0.97

01:06:48.380 but stay safe and give your wife a big hug, 0.98

01:06:51.400 man.

01:06:51.700 And,

01:06:52.120 uh,

01:06:52.580 you're lucky to have somebody to support you if you do have to struggle with that. 0.90

01:06:56.260 And I'm sorry that people like where we're from don't have the same opportunity to get out of some of the bullshit, 0.99

01:07:01.400 but the bullshit stays. 0.99

01:07:02.920 It just adds up. 1.00

01:07:04.580 So no matter what's going on,

01:07:06.200 however,

01:07:06.620 this shakes out,

01:07:07.360 I think if you can get to the core,

01:07:09.360 whatever the issue is,

01:07:10.580 would you have a drinking problem?

01:07:11.660 Do you have a driving problem?

01:07:13.880 I'm saying one of them,

01:07:14.940 you have,

01:07:15.140 I think you have an issue with one of them.

01:07:17.140 So maybe next time,

01:07:18.180 if you take all your,

01:07:19.800 maybe have your buddy take all your tires off your truck or something,

01:07:22.340 if you're going to go drinking,

01:07:24.540 you know,

01:07:25.080 make a rule or something,

01:07:27.200 you know,

01:07:27.400 or at least two tires.

01:07:29.460 So,

01:07:30.620 uh,

01:07:31.740 be,

01:07:31.980 be well,

01:07:32.480 brother onward.

01:07:33.300 All right,

01:07:33.620 let's take this call right here.

01:07:34.880 Here we go.

01:07:36.200 One more call.

01:07:37.080 Maybe,

01:07:37.380 maybe,

01:07:37.640 I don't know.

01:07:38.860 It's Halloween,

01:07:39.800 man.

01:07:40.000 I've been trying to just,

01:07:41.400 I'm not trying to do anything,

01:07:43.580 man.

01:07:43.640 I'm just trying to keep it going.

01:07:45.080 I'm trying to keep it going,

01:07:46.300 man.

01:07:46.560 That's all we got to do.

01:07:48.760 You know,

01:07:49.200 I'm so tired of my brain making plans with me.

01:07:51.280 My brain's always like,

01:07:52.860 every time I do something,

01:07:54.340 it's like,

01:07:54.660 okay,

01:07:54.860 now we're doing this.

01:07:55.820 Okay,

01:07:56.080 now we're doing this.

01:07:57.740 You know,

01:07:58.200 my brain,

01:07:59.280 it just,

01:08:01.480 it just always finds the problem.

01:08:04.860 It's like,

01:08:05.300 my brain is like a vacuum and it only,

01:08:08.520 it's like a room,

01:08:09.640 but one of them thing that's vacuumed while you're gone.

01:08:11.980 You know,

01:08:13.940 room is somebody caught,

01:08:15.000 you know,

01:08:15.240 rumors of those things,

01:08:16.040 you turn it on,

01:08:16.740 it's supposed to clean your house while you're,

01:08:18.020 while you're away.

01:08:19.380 But there's videos a lot,

01:08:20.580 couple of room is outside,

01:08:21.740 you know,

01:08:21.920 smoking,

01:08:23.160 you know, 0.99

01:08:24.060 somebody caught two room is fucking outside of their garage. 0.98

01:08:26.780 So, 0.89

01:08:28.480 everybody want to talk about how artificial intelligence is going to be the future and everything like that.

01:08:35.180 You know,

01:08:36.080 I mean,

01:08:36.400 you got,

01:08:36.820 meanwhile,

01:08:37.200 you got a,

01:08:37.640 you know,

01:08:38.360 a Roomba and one of these Nest thermostats and they meet,

01:08:43.820 they meeting up outside of the garage and,

01:08:46.200 you know,

01:08:46.780 cooking up a gram or something or heating up a couple of,

01:08:49.940 you know,

01:08:52.100 batches it at greeny.

01:08:55.740 It's just,

01:08:57.520 I mean,

01:08:58.280 artificial intelligence is only as good as the dope it's going to get into.

01:09:02.800 So next time you,

01:09:03.880 you know,

01:09:04.160 you,

01:09:04.340 you,

01:09:04.980 you know,

01:09:05.420 you look in the washroom,

01:09:06.620 you find some drugs in there or something that might not be your husband's,

01:09:09.940 your husband's stash.

01:09:12.640 How do you know that,

01:09:13.600 you know, 0.99

01:09:14.360 some of these machines ain't doing the shit? 0.99

01:09:17.860 You know, 0.99

01:09:18.500 next time they pull you over and they search your car and they find a,

01:09:22.540 you know,

01:09:22.700 a couple of little sacks of quaaludes or,

01:09:24.920 you know,

01:09:25.760 in a little Mason jar of a KY jellies or something preserves,

01:09:31.040 preferably because you don't say I don't like a little bit of chunk in it.

01:09:34.700 But,

01:09:34.980 but just say,

01:09:38.520 Hey man,

01:09:38.860 you don't,

01:09:39.080 I don't know what this car does at night. 1.00

01:09:40.640 I drive this bitch during the day. 1.00

01:09:43.160 Okay. 0.99

01:09:43.880 I don't know what this thing,

01:09:45.180 it might be,

01:09:45.680 you know,

01:09:46.120 rolling over there to the Chevrolet dealership.

01:09:49.420 And,

01:09:49.780 and freebasing.

01:09:51.280 I don't know what,

01:09:52.260 you know what I'm saying?

01:09:52.720 I don't know.

01:09:54.500 But I'm just saying at a certain point,

01:09:56.100 artificial intelligence is going to be so smart easily.

01:09:59.120 It could get easily.

01:10:01.820 It could do drugs. 0.94

01:10:04.900 So that's,

01:10:05.660 that's what I'm saying.

01:10:06.340 I read an article the other day.

01:10:07.440 They found a toaster that had a couple of them doing dabs.

01:10:15.720 So what is that?

01:10:16.860 You telling me?

01:10:19.340 It just,

01:10:20.260 what was this guy talking about?

01:10:23.480 Sorry.

01:10:24.360 Did anybody even call?

01:10:25.280 I don't even know what's happening.

01:10:27.460 Let me take a call right now.

01:10:29.100 Here we go.

01:10:29.760 Onward.

01:10:30.380 Hey,

01:10:30.660 this is a rigging rigging calling from Tacoma,

01:10:34.660 Washington.

01:10:35.540 I just got finished listening to the last podcast.

01:10:38.240 Thanks for listening,

01:10:39.880 man.

01:10:40.060 Thanks for your patience.

01:10:42.160 You know,

01:10:42.620 and it's funny because sometimes I come in,

01:10:43.920 I don't know what this podcast is going to be like.

01:10:45.700 I don't know what's going to happen.

01:10:47.960 You know,

01:10:48.220 I don't know how I'm feeling.

01:10:49.180 I don't know how you're feeling.

01:10:50.220 But we keep showing up,

01:10:55.260 man.

01:10:55.400 I'm grateful for that.

01:10:57.940 You know,

01:10:58.460 to the person that called earlier,

01:10:59.800 it's like,

01:11:00.300 you just keep doing it.

01:11:03.520 You got to just keep going.

01:11:04.820 If you're procrastinating,

01:11:06.000 then no matter,

01:11:07.100 it's a program of action.

01:11:10.420 You know,

01:11:10.980 existence is a program of action.

01:11:12.820 It's like,

01:11:13.400 we can feel and do all these things

01:11:15.400 and talk about how we feel

01:11:16.580 and it's important

01:11:17.320 and it's real.

01:11:21.080 But at a certain point,

01:11:22.960 you know,

01:11:23.320 we have to take action.

01:11:26.640 We have to.

01:11:28.800 Onward.

01:11:29.300 Let's go,

01:11:29.640 brother.

01:11:29.960 At the end,

01:11:30.400 you were talking about

01:11:31.340 the middle ground

01:11:32.800 that we sort of live in.

01:11:33.840 My question is,

01:11:35.120 to you or anyone listening,

01:11:36.440 if this makes it in,

01:11:37.500 how do you change your desires

01:11:39.740 to be sort of positive or good?

01:11:42.440 Like,

01:11:43.020 I want to have both hands on the Lord

01:11:44.760 and move forward,

01:11:45.620 but part of me feels like

01:11:47.600 I like the dark arts,

01:11:48.820 if I'm going to be honest.

01:11:49.700 So,

01:11:50.740 anyway,

01:11:51.780 let me know what you think.

01:11:53.680 Gang,

01:11:54.140 bro.

01:11:56.100 You know,

01:11:56.660 I feel,

01:11:57.140 I feel you right there.

01:11:59.660 You know,

01:12:00.180 I feel you right there.

01:12:06.200 It's like,

01:12:06.780 I want to be,

01:12:08.100 I mean,

01:12:08.280 I talked about this before,

01:12:09.520 I want to be part of the solution.

01:12:11.160 I want to be,

01:12:13.200 I want to live in the good space.

01:12:15.180 I want to,

01:12:16.980 you know,

01:12:18.340 I want that freedom that I have,

01:12:19.800 that people have.

01:12:22.340 And it's tougher sometimes

01:12:23.760 for some people

01:12:24.460 than it is for others.

01:12:26.620 And unfortunately for me,

01:12:28.100 that's,

01:12:28.500 you know,

01:12:29.260 that's some of my battle.

01:12:30.920 And that's okay.

01:12:31.620 Some people have different battles.

01:12:34.380 Some people have,

01:12:35.260 you know,

01:12:35.740 wasps in their house.

01:12:36.980 Some people,

01:12:37.800 you know,

01:12:39.340 have trouble battling the,

01:12:40.880 you know,

01:12:42.540 the,

01:12:42.740 the dim elements,

01:12:44.800 the dark arts,

01:12:45.700 man.

01:12:45.940 And that's me.

01:12:49.040 I want to do something bad

01:12:50.180 a lot of times.

01:12:51.660 You know, 0.87

01:12:52.100 I want to be dirty. 0.98

01:12:53.020 I want to be, 0.98

01:12:53.740 you know,

01:12:54.320 a naughty,

01:12:54.900 naughty,

01:12:55.320 naughty,

01:12:55.720 naughty, 0.76

01:12:56.140 naughty type of guy.

01:13:02.880 But at the same time,

01:13:04.300 there's a bigger thing,

01:13:05.280 there's a light in me

01:13:06.120 that wants to do,

01:13:07.480 that wants,

01:13:12.340 that wants to be,

01:13:13.660 that wants to be part of the solution.

01:13:15.600 Because once you,

01:13:16.660 especially if you can be part of the,

01:13:17.800 if you're,

01:13:18.220 if you can,

01:13:18.860 then you can help other people.

01:13:19.920 You can be an example,

01:13:21.060 you know.

01:13:23.640 And I get people send messages

01:13:24.940 a lot of times like,

01:13:25.720 hey,

01:13:25.860 thank you,

01:13:26.440 you know,

01:13:26.840 for talking about sobriety

01:13:28.560 and talking about

01:13:29.400 the things you struggle with.

01:13:32.160 And,

01:13:32.520 and,

01:13:32.680 and you're welcome,

01:13:36.280 man.

01:13:36.420 You're welcome.

01:13:37.580 You know,

01:13:37.840 it makes me feel,

01:13:41.600 I don't know.

01:13:44.320 Yeah,

01:13:44.660 I want to be okay too,

01:13:45.700 man.

01:13:45.840 It's hard.

01:13:46.880 And some of that,

01:13:47.860 I think for some of us,

01:13:49.180 that's our battle.

01:13:53.620 That's our journey.

01:13:55.000 And there has to be a journey in life.

01:13:56.980 I think there needs to be.

01:13:58.400 I think that's what this,

01:13:59.600 this world is.

01:14:00.900 it is a,

01:14:03.120 it is a fight.

01:14:06.680 It is a battle.

01:14:11.460 And it's hard sometimes,

01:14:12.760 you know,

01:14:13.000 it's a hard thing to admit,

01:14:14.120 man,

01:14:14.260 I was thinking earlier,

01:14:15.240 it's hard to admit that I love God,

01:14:17.460 man.

01:14:20.940 You know,

01:14:21.460 and not even knowing sometimes who God is

01:14:23.860 or what it is or,

01:14:26.360 but that I love him.

01:14:27.440 you know,

01:14:28.100 it's hard to admit that

01:14:29.480 because there's this other,

01:14:34.200 these other strings,

01:14:35.300 man,

01:14:35.460 there's these,

01:14:36.160 I want to pull you.

01:14:36.960 It's just your own will and stuff you want to do.

01:14:38.900 And,

01:14:39.180 and I'm not saying that like,

01:14:45.900 you know,

01:14:47.600 some people believe in religion,

01:14:48.760 some people don't.

01:14:49.480 And that's,

01:14:49.980 that's fine.

01:14:50.620 I don't knock anyone that doesn't.

01:14:55.280 But,

01:14:55.860 but I just know that,

01:14:57.120 yeah,

01:14:57.220 I struggle.

01:14:58.140 I struggle with it.

01:15:02.200 You know,

01:15:02.760 I,

01:15:02.920 I feel sometimes like I'm afraid or

01:15:05.140 I think something that holds me back

01:15:07.040 is I'm afraid to go all the way in

01:15:08.400 because I feel like I won't be able to

01:15:09.820 have fun

01:15:10.960 or won't be able to,

01:15:11.840 you know,

01:15:12.580 but I know that's not the truth though,

01:15:15.240 man.

01:15:15.940 Um,

01:15:18.580 but I think being honest with ourselves

01:15:20.180 like you're doing is,

01:15:21.400 it's a good part of the journey

01:15:23.820 because then at least

01:15:25.300 whatever powers are out there for good

01:15:27.000 can meet us where we are.

01:15:30.340 You know,

01:15:30.800 if I'm always standing around saying,

01:15:32.340 oh,

01:15:32.420 this is where I am

01:15:33.400 and I'm doing great

01:15:34.300 and this and that

01:15:35.080 and,

01:15:35.400 and I'm not,

01:15:36.260 I'm not realistic.

01:15:38.400 then how is the other piece

01:15:40.260 of the puzzle that I need

01:15:41.880 going to ever match up with me

01:15:43.720 if I keep shape-shifting,

01:15:46.720 you know,

01:15:47.260 if I keep shape-shifting my shape

01:15:50.020 to fit,

01:15:51.160 you know,

01:15:52.860 whatever conversation I'm in

01:15:55.200 or,

01:15:56.740 you know,

01:15:59.620 I struggle

01:16:00.120 and I don't know,

01:16:00.980 man,

01:16:01.200 but I like your,

01:16:03.400 your thought about being honest about it.

01:16:05.100 There's something special about that

01:16:06.560 because then whatever the other piece is,

01:16:10.200 you know,

01:16:10.680 whatever the other interactions I need

01:16:12.520 in the world

01:16:12.960 that are going to help me feel more whole, 0.99

01:16:15.380 those are going to be able to meet my ass, 0.99

01:16:17.820 boy. 1.00

01:16:20.520 Because otherwise,

01:16:21.380 if I keep saying,

01:16:22.260 oh,

01:16:22.360 well,

01:16:22.480 this is really where,

01:16:23.260 this is where I'm at,

01:16:24.200 then all these things,

01:16:25.500 I'm going to miss them

01:16:26.220 because,

01:16:27.080 because that's not really the shape I'm,

01:16:30.280 I'm in.

01:16:33.780 And I'm in pretty good shape

01:16:35.320 for the shape that I'm in.

01:16:38.140 I'm making it.

01:16:39.780 And that's a Bishop Gunn song.

01:16:41.380 Thanks for calling, man.

01:16:42.220 Thanks for your honesty.

01:16:42.920 What else?

01:16:49.400 What else do I want to talk about?

01:16:51.040 I don't know.

01:16:55.840 You know,

01:16:56.420 I don't know, man.

01:16:57.480 You know,

01:16:58.000 I had so much fun this weekend

01:16:59.220 at the comedy club,

01:17:00.940 watching Chris D'Elia.

01:17:02.720 You know,

01:17:03.000 such a stepdaddy, though.

01:17:04.220 People want to say

01:17:05.020 he's this father figure

01:17:06.280 and he's this and that.

01:17:08.100 Babies.

01:17:09.460 What?

01:17:11.260 Who's hanging out with babies, 0.88

01:17:12.920 dude?

01:17:17.620 Pediliophiles.

01:17:18.500 That's

01:17:18.940 who?

01:17:21.400 Dude,

01:17:21.720 we have an

01:17:22.740 struggling

01:17:23.940 semi-adult

01:17:25.580 adolescent audience.

01:17:28.340 Right?

01:17:28.780 That's where we're at.

01:17:30.620 But babies,

01:17:31.320 those things will crawl off a cliff, 1.00

01:17:32.880 bruh. 0.87

01:17:33.820 A bunch of sacrificial lambs.

01:17:37.100 And that ain't us, man.

01:17:40.420 We just,

01:17:41.160 I don't know what we are, man.

01:17:46.420 We're just a bunch of 1.00

01:17:47.320 freaking rats, bruh. 1.00

01:17:50.840 But I know a lot of you guys 0.97

01:17:52.100 are going to be out there

01:17:52.700 this weekend

01:17:53.060 taking your children out

01:17:54.280 or taking your friends out

01:17:55.700 or doing something fun.

01:17:57.260 And I hope you

01:17:59.700 just enjoy the experience.

01:18:02.240 You know,

01:18:02.460 be brave.

01:18:03.060 Dress in a costume.

01:18:04.060 Do something kind of fun.

01:18:06.100 You know,

01:18:06.300 if you're taking your old lady out,

01:18:08.240 you know,

01:18:09.220 don't have a frown on your face.

01:18:11.680 You know,

01:18:12.060 try and

01:18:12.580 have a new experience.

01:18:16.100 You know,

01:18:16.580 I've had women in my life 1.00

01:18:17.580 and I've missed out

01:18:18.320 on the opportunity

01:18:19.060 to,

01:18:19.540 uh,

01:18:20.360 to,

01:18:21.980 to lift them up.

01:18:25.940 You know,

01:18:28.180 I was thinking the other day

01:18:28.840 about myself.

01:18:29.400 One thing I noticed recently

01:18:30.580 was I've always struggled with,

01:18:32.200 um,

01:18:33.120 I've never really honored

01:18:34.860 the women in my life.

01:18:41.820 You know,

01:18:42.280 I've never really honored them.

01:18:43.360 Um,

01:18:43.720 I've always,

01:18:48.040 for some reason,

01:18:48.600 been like ashamed

01:18:49.560 or

01:18:50.400 didn't want to be attached.

01:18:54.700 Uh,

01:18:55.540 you know,

01:19:00.220 I've always had a really,

01:19:01.340 a strong block

01:19:02.460 when it came to

01:19:03.540 honoring,

01:19:06.280 um,

01:19:07.860 the women in my life 1.00

01:19:08.980 that,

01:19:09.180 that have been,

01:19:09.680 that were important to me

01:19:10.460 and that have been important to me.

01:19:15.220 I'm trying to think about it

01:19:16.360 for a second.

01:19:16.960 I,

01:19:17.280 I try to feel about it.

01:19:18.580 I feel like

01:19:19.220 I mean,

01:19:25.760 I just,

01:19:26.040 I think I have a lot of regret

01:19:26.880 when it comes to that.

01:19:27.700 I've just never,

01:19:29.520 you know,

01:19:32.380 I think a lot of times

01:19:33.140 when I was young,

01:19:33.700 I was,

01:19:33.960 I was ashamed of my mother,

01:19:35.200 you know,

01:19:35.340 I was ashamed that,

01:19:36.480 you know,

01:19:36.860 that

01:19:37.220 she wasn't like this idea,

01:19:41.300 I guess,

01:19:42.640 of a mother.

01:19:43.500 I think I just wish

01:19:44.100 I'd have been stronger

01:19:44.800 to like,

01:19:46.620 you know,

01:19:47.400 just lift her up 0.99

01:19:48.260 and just say,

01:19:48.820 you know,

01:19:49.980 I'm proud of my mother,

01:19:52.540 you know,

01:19:52.840 and I think that's a dad's job

01:19:54.460 sometimes is to teach

01:19:55.340 the son to do that

01:19:56.240 and my mom didn't

01:19:57.460 and I weren't very close

01:19:58.780 but,

01:20:00.260 but yeah,

01:20:03.000 I don't know,

01:20:03.300 I've just,

01:20:03.760 I was realizing that

01:20:04.440 the other day

01:20:04.760 I've always struggled

01:20:05.440 with honoring

01:20:06.260 the women in my life.

01:20:09.360 and it's not because

01:20:17.300 I don't care about them.

01:20:21.940 It's just,

01:20:23.040 I don't know,

01:20:26.000 I think I was just,

01:20:27.000 I don't know,

01:20:29.000 maybe I was just so

01:20:29.660 self-sufficient

01:20:30.360 at an early age

01:20:31.520 and I,

01:20:32.780 you know,

01:20:34.000 and I wanted more

01:20:34.720 from a relationship

01:20:36.460 with my mom

01:20:38.120 but I didn't have it

01:20:38.940 or something,

01:20:39.500 I don't know.

01:20:40.300 Or maybe I was just selfish.

01:20:46.740 I don't know,

01:20:47.340 I'm trying to feel it

01:20:48.140 and I can't really

01:20:48.860 land on anything.

01:20:49.780 But I've always,

01:20:53.000 whenever it's come

01:20:53.440 to girlfriends

01:20:53.960 or like,

01:20:54.900 you know,

01:20:55.120 saying,

01:20:55.460 oh,

01:20:55.540 this is my girlfriend

01:20:56.260 or this is a girl

01:20:56.980 that I'm seeing,

01:20:57.540 it's always been

01:20:58.100 really tough for me.

01:21:03.800 You know,

01:21:04.260 I always had my mom

01:21:05.180 like drop me off

01:21:06.060 kind of like,

01:21:06.800 you know,

01:21:07.040 not by the party

01:21:07.960 wherever we were going.

01:21:09.060 I mean,

01:21:09.320 half the time

01:21:09.700 I had to walk

01:21:10.200 to the thing

01:21:10.720 or whatever thing

01:21:11.320 I was going to as well

01:21:12.300 so maybe I was just

01:21:13.060 angry sometimes

01:21:13.960 but,

01:21:14.300 you know,

01:21:19.520 I've always struggled

01:21:20.120 with having that

01:21:21.220 just not honoring

01:21:23.260 you know,

01:21:24.940 the women in my life.

01:21:28.120 Just saying,

01:21:28.820 hey,

01:21:28.940 this is my girlfriend

01:21:29.900 or this is my wife

01:21:31.000 or this is this girl

01:21:31.880 that I'm dating

01:21:32.420 and I'm proud to be

01:21:33.460 with them

01:21:34.440 or I think for me

01:21:36.280 some of it

01:21:36.620 is just commitment.

01:21:37.440 I don't want any,

01:21:38.240 I don't want,

01:21:42.060 you know,

01:21:42.480 I like to just do

01:21:43.800 it myself.

01:21:47.160 I don't,

01:21:48.620 I don't know.

01:21:51.580 I just want to be

01:21:52.440 my,

01:21:53.060 I just want to be

01:21:53.960 just me

01:21:54.540 and it just gets

01:21:56.660 really tough

01:21:57.280 when,

01:21:57.880 you know,

01:22:00.620 I don't know.

01:22:01.160 It's just something

01:22:01.520 that honestly for me

01:22:02.300 that's just been

01:22:02.760 kind of haunting me

01:22:03.580 recently.

01:22:10.580 It just haunts me

01:22:11.620 because then people

01:22:12.840 it's tougher

01:22:13.260 or anyway,

01:22:14.680 I was just saying

01:22:15.140 if you have a,

01:22:15.800 you know,

01:22:16.000 someone you're

01:22:16.440 spending time with,

01:22:17.200 you know,

01:22:17.360 make sure they know

01:22:17.980 that you're excited

01:22:18.560 to spend time

01:22:19.220 with them.

01:22:21.260 You know,

01:22:22.100 to have a new

01:22:22.660 moment with them

01:22:23.460 and say,

01:22:23.880 look,

01:22:24.160 you know,

01:22:25.620 I know we,

01:22:26.320 you know,

01:22:26.480 our lives sometimes

01:22:27.260 get kind of the same

01:22:28.980 and we do this

01:22:29.700 and we do that.

01:22:30.480 Make them a nice

01:22:31.060 card or something.

01:22:36.200 You know,

01:22:36.700 just tell them

01:22:37.240 how much you care

01:22:37.920 but like in a,

01:22:38.760 in a way

01:22:40.080 where they are

01:22:40.500 going to notice it.

01:22:41.400 because we need

01:22:44.640 that.

01:22:46.140 You know,

01:22:46.680 we all need it

01:22:47.480 and,

01:22:47.740 and yeah,

01:22:52.740 just sometimes

01:22:53.280 when I have,

01:22:54.100 you know,

01:22:54.340 I procrastinate

01:22:55.360 even when it

01:22:55.860 comes to matters

01:22:56.480 of the heart

01:22:57.040 and of the,

01:22:58.800 you know,

01:22:59.200 yeah,

01:23:02.600 people want to

01:23:03.060 know how much

01:23:03.640 everybody wants

01:23:06.860 to be cared for.

01:23:10.720 I think,

01:23:11.320 yeah,

01:23:11.440 for me,

01:23:11.720 sometimes I was

01:23:12.160 just so worried

01:23:12.740 about being cared

01:23:13.420 for that I forgot

01:23:15.060 to,

01:23:16.040 you know,

01:23:18.440 I forgot to be

01:23:19.380 the other half

01:23:20.020 of the care

01:23:20.560 in certain

01:23:23.160 environments.

01:23:25.860 Anyway,

01:23:26.320 I didn't mean to

01:23:26.620 bring this down

01:23:27.240 at all

01:23:27.640 and it's not down.

01:23:29.740 You know,

01:23:30.280 that's what happens

01:23:30.780 when the cauldron's

01:23:31.540 brewing

01:23:31.820 and that's what

01:23:32.960 happens when the

01:23:33.420 coffins open

01:23:34.100 and that's what

01:23:35.940 happens when the

01:23:36.480 cats have nine

01:23:37.260 legs

01:23:37.800 and no lives

01:23:39.300 and the mummy's

01:23:42.040 got something

01:23:42.520 in their tummy.

01:23:44.640 That's what

01:23:45.160 happens.

01:23:47.000 The dark arts

01:23:47.900 abound

01:23:48.440 and the things

01:23:49.520 that haunt us

01:23:50.140 are,

01:23:50.360 they're,

01:23:50.560 they're right here,

01:23:51.120 they're fresh

01:23:51.620 right now.

01:23:52.880 They've been in

01:23:53.520 the crisper drawer

01:23:54.600 of the great

01:23:56.180 beyond of the

01:23:56.900 upside down

01:23:57.740 and that door

01:23:59.840 has just been,

01:24:00.860 you open the

01:24:01.580 fridge and that

01:24:02.100 door is open

01:24:02.660 and suddenly

01:24:03.040 there's nothing

01:24:03.560 in it

01:24:04.080 because the

01:24:07.000 things that

01:24:07.360 haunt us

01:24:08.140 and the

01:24:09.760 things that

01:24:10.160 scare us

01:24:10.960 and the

01:24:11.300 things that,

01:24:13.960 you know,

01:24:14.920 that dog whistle

01:24:15.780 that only we

01:24:16.460 can hear

01:24:16.940 because it's

01:24:17.520 some memory

01:24:18.040 from our own

01:24:18.600 past.

01:24:19.140 those things

01:24:24.460 are alive

01:24:25.280 right now.

01:24:26.860 This is that

01:24:27.360 time.

01:24:30.460 It's that

01:24:31.060 time

01:24:31.540 when it's

01:24:34.540 all open

01:24:35.120 and it's

01:24:37.500 all upside

01:24:38.060 down.

01:24:41.060 You guys

01:24:41.680 take care of

01:24:42.140 yourselves,

01:24:42.820 huh?

01:24:43.140 Be good to

01:24:43.720 yourself,

01:24:44.260 you deserve

01:24:44.740 it.

01:24:46.620 You know,

01:24:47.260 be good to

01:24:47.700 yourself,

01:24:48.120 you deserve

01:24:48.540 it and

01:24:48.920 and if

01:24:52.660 you made

01:24:52.960 mistakes,

01:24:53.400 there'll be

01:24:53.660 so many

01:24:53.980 opportunities

01:24:54.460 to right

01:24:54.940 those.

01:24:56.760 You know,

01:24:57.060 there will

01:24:57.360 be opportunities

01:24:58.000 to right

01:24:58.640 our wrongs

01:25:00.500 but just

01:25:02.740 hold the

01:25:03.120 line right

01:25:03.580 now.

01:25:03.800 It's a

01:25:04.000 tough time.

01:25:06.540 You know,

01:25:07.080 the skeletons

01:25:07.600 are here.

01:25:09.760 You'll find

01:25:10.340 an extra femur.

01:25:11.120 You'll wake

01:25:11.420 up in the

01:25:11.740 morning and

01:25:12.100 find an 1.00

01:25:12.380 extra fucking 1.00

01:25:12.860 femur in 1.00

01:25:13.420 your hand.

01:25:14.000 Whose is

01:25:14.300 this?

01:25:16.340 I don't

01:25:16.860 know.

01:25:18.920 but it's

01:25:20.640 that time

01:25:21.040 of year.

01:25:22.280 Happy

01:25:22.780 Halloween.

01:25:23.640 Oh,

01:25:45.320 this is that

01:25:45.580 one where

01:25:45.880 somebody's getting

01:25:46.280 beaten.

01:25:47.120 Jesus.

01:25:47.440 Oh.

01:25:50.360 Oh,

01:25:50.800 God.

01:25:52.920 It sounds

01:25:53.220 like two 0.96

01:25:53.500 gay guys 0.84

01:25:54.060 kind of 0.99

01:25:54.340 slapping each

01:25:54.980 other,

01:25:55.260 doesn't it?

01:25:57.500 Jesus,

01:25:58.000 where are the

01:25:58.320 hotties at,

01:25:59.140 man?

01:26:00.840 Let me see

01:26:01.400 if I can find

01:26:01.940 something.

01:26:02.260 I might have

01:26:02.440 some chicks

01:26:02.900 in the back.

01:26:03.440 this is that

01:26:11.580 Dexter

01:26:11.980 hitter right

01:26:12.560 there.

01:26:18.820 I like it

01:26:19.620 though.

01:26:19.820 I want to

01:26:29.880 thank Brian

01:26:30.320 Johnson's

01:26:30.900 studio for

01:26:32.360 these beautiful

01:26:33.000 carvings,

01:26:33.580 man.

01:26:33.740 You outdid

01:26:34.160 yourself and

01:26:34.620 you always

01:26:34.980 do time

01:26:35.460 and time

01:26:35.800 again.

01:26:36.620 I want to

01:26:37.220 thank Nick

01:26:38.100 Davis for

01:26:38.660 making this

01:26:39.080 happen,

01:26:40.000 making this

01:26:40.420 beautiful set

01:26:41.080 for us

01:26:41.420 today.

01:26:42.360 I want to

01:26:42.660 thank you

01:26:42.960 guys for

01:26:44.460 lifting me

01:26:45.200 up and

01:26:45.860 being a

01:26:46.280 part of

01:26:46.520 my life

01:26:46.980 and man,

01:26:48.800 I'm excited.

01:26:49.140 We're going

01:26:49.320 to put

01:26:49.480 some new

01:26:49.780 dates on

01:26:50.180 the books

01:26:50.580 even.

01:26:51.920 I'm going

01:26:52.260 to slowly

01:26:52.660 kind of

01:26:52.980 wade back

01:26:53.420 into some

01:26:53.780 new stuff,

01:26:54.440 got some

01:26:54.740 new material

01:26:55.420 brewing,

01:26:56.500 trying to

01:26:57.140 convince a

01:26:57.720 comedian to

01:27:00.600 do a unique

01:27:02.820 tour with me

01:27:03.460 this summer

01:27:03.960 and go out

01:27:04.500 together.

01:27:05.960 So,

01:27:06.460 hopefully we'll

01:27:06.960 see what he

01:27:07.360 says.

01:27:10.680 But thank

01:27:11.340 you guys.

01:27:13.040 You know,

01:27:13.300 I love you.

01:27:16.320 You know,

01:27:16.860 I love you.

01:27:17.360 And we

01:27:20.640 got this.

01:27:21.480 This is a

01:27:21.800 beautiful time

01:27:22.300 of year,

01:27:22.560 beautiful time

01:27:23.060 of year.

01:27:24.420 You know,

01:27:24.720 for us,

01:27:25.160 there's a lot

01:27:25.880 we can do.

01:27:28.140 So,

01:27:28.840 if you're

01:27:29.160 struggling with

01:27:29.600 something,

01:27:29.820 just hold

01:27:30.120 the line.

01:27:31.980 We got

01:27:32.580 this.

01:27:32.980 We got

01:27:33.980 this.

01:27:34.980 We got

01:27:35.980 this.

01:27:36.040 We got

01:27:36.980 this.

01:27:37.980 We got

01:27:40.980 this.

01:27:41.980 We got

01:27:42.980 this.

01:27:43.980 We got

01:27:44.980 this.

01:27:45.040 We got

01:27:45.980 this.

01:27:46.040 We got

01:27:46.420 this.

01:27:46.980 I'm

01:27:50.540 going to

01:27:50.580 have

01:27:50.680 one

01:27:50.880 more.

01:27:51.220 That's

01:27:51.400 it.

01:27:51.600 Just

01:27:51.700 because.

01:27:53.720 Oh,

01:27:54.220 man,

01:27:54.580 my heart

01:27:55.000 is starting

01:27:55.340 to beat

01:27:55.960 fast.

01:28:00.440 I got

01:28:04.260 what is

01:28:05.380 in them,

01:28:05.920 dude.

01:28:07.820 What is

01:28:08.400 inside of

01:28:08.880 Snickers,

01:28:11.840 dude?

01:28:12.120 Cigarettes.

01:28:12.760 They are

01:28:13.060 good,

01:28:13.920 man.

01:28:16.100 Gang. 0.66

01:28:16.580 ladies and 0.98

01:28:25.320 gentlemen,

01:28:25.620 I'm Jonathan

01:28:26.420 Kite and

01:28:27.120 welcome to

01:28:27.640 Kite Club,

01:28:28.500 a podcast

01:28:29.060 where I'll

01:28:29.640 be sharing

01:28:30.000 thoughts on

01:28:30.560 things like

01:28:31.080 current events,

01:28:32.180 stand-up stories,

01:28:33.140 and seven ways

01:28:34.100 to pleasure

01:28:34.620 your partner.

01:28:35.880 The answer

01:28:36.380 may shock

01:28:36.940 you.

01:28:37.640 Sometimes I'll

01:28:38.280 interview my

01:28:38.780 friends.

01:28:39.680 Sometimes I

01:28:40.280 won't.

01:28:41.200 And as always,

01:28:42.200 I'll be joined

01:28:42.780 by the voices

01:28:43.360 in my head.

01:28:44.060 A lot of

01:28:48.140 people are

01:28:48.600 talking about

01:28:49.300 Kite Club.

01:28:50.220 I've been

01:28:50.620 talking about

01:28:51.400 Kite Club

01:28:51.920 for so long,

01:28:52.880 longer than

01:28:53.460 anybody else.

01:28:54.580 So great.

01:28:55.900 Hi,

01:28:56.520 Swaya.

01:28:57.540 Easy deal.

01:28:58.880 Anyone who

01:28:59.460 doesn't listen

01:28:59.960 to Kite Club 0.70

01:29:00.680 is a dodgy 1.00

01:29:01.540 bloody wanker. 1.00

01:29:02.820 Jermaine. 0.94

01:29:04.080 Hi,

01:29:04.940 I'll take a

01:29:05.560 quarter pounder

01:29:06.220 with cheese

01:29:06.720 and a McFlurry.

01:29:07.900 Sorry,

01:29:08.240 sir,

01:29:08.360 but our

01:29:08.560 ice cream

01:29:08.880 machine is

01:29:09.280 broken.

01:29:09.980 Oh,

01:29:10.320 no.

01:29:12.220 I think

01:29:12.940 Tom Hanks

01:29:13.440 just butt 1.00

01:29:13.980 dialed me.

01:29:14.680 Anyway,

01:29:15.380 first rule

01:29:15.880 of Kite Club

01:29:16.360 is tell

01:29:17.320 everyone about

01:29:18.140 Kite Club.

01:29:18.880 Second rule

01:29:19.420 of Kite Club

01:29:20.020 is tell

01:29:21.020 everyone about

01:29:22.180 Kite Club.

01:29:23.100 Third rule,

01:29:24.040 like and subscribe

01:29:24.800 wherever you

01:29:25.460 listen to podcasts

01:29:26.260 or watch us

01:29:27.560 on YouTube,

01:29:28.220 yeah?

01:29:28.860 And yes,

01:29:29.420 don't worry,

01:29:30.160 my Brad Pitt

01:29:30.740 impression will

01:29:31.440 get better.

01:29:31.940 Do you

This Past Weekend with Theo Von - October 28, 2019

Pyramid Scheme ｜ This Past Weekend #240

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