Comedian Adam Carolla ( ) joins Jemele to talk about his trip to Canada and his thoughts on cheating on his wife. He also talks about his new found interest in yoga and his plans for the weekend.
00:04:29.780My wife at about year two informed me that watching pornography was akin to cheating.
00:04:39.980Year two, first of all, this dude, I mean, that's a wild way to put it, I guess, Adam, year two.
00:04:46.680But yeah, so 700 days into the deal, you know, after having the cake and the big party with everyone and friends you know and love and family and getting those gifts and getting that money,
00:04:56.500your wife says that porn is akin to cheating.
00:05:40.480You know, if you, if just a woman is just, you know, I guess kind of on her knees and you're just back there behind her, you know, that's humping, you know?
00:05:51.780And if you've ever watched two people have sex, dude, it's kind of, it's pretty ridiculous, like not on pornography.
00:05:58.460Like on pornography, you're talking to the all-stars, you know?
00:06:01.580These are the Shaquille O'Neills of fucking on pornography.
00:06:05.700On sexual, you know, these are, you know, these are your, you're, you're, you know, these are your, your Neil Armstrongs of sex and, you know, you know, tits and butthole work and all of that, everything they're doing.
00:06:22.000These are, this, this is your salt bay of, of, of sexuality, these people on pornography.
00:06:28.620Somebody rolling into your bedroom or my bedroom, seeing, you know, our hairy, you know, derrieres, that hairy air, seeing our hairy derrieres or our, you know, our, you know, maybe a, if I have an ink stain on my leg because a pen broke in my pocket at work and it's been there for seven months, you know?
00:06:48.740And, I mean, we're not showing off the best case, you know, we're not showing off the best, you know, elements and the best limbs and, you know, and everything.
00:07:00.700So the, what you're going to be, your trade-off, I mean, that's a beautiful trade-off.
00:07:04.740You know, at least your wife gave you an option.
00:07:06.280She said, well, if you can't do this, I don't want you doing this, but you're allowed to film you and me being nasty.
00:07:36.640It may sound, you know, the jealous types, you know, they wouldn't get into something like that, but I've been thinking about it a lot, man.
00:07:45.720And, you know, even sometimes when my wife is doing nasty things to me, I kind of, in my head, start thinking like I'm somebody else.
00:07:57.440So he really, in Adam's head, it feels like he is, well, let's see what some of you guys thought, man.
00:08:04.160Because his wife is saying, I don't want you watching the pornography, that's akin to cheating, but you can film us having sex.
00:08:10.340And now he wants to bring some other people into the bedroom.
00:08:13.460You know, he wants to bring, I mean, first of all, you know, the number one draft pick is probably going to be a brother.
00:08:18.940And if you're going to bring a, you know, somebody going to come in there with a big instrument, you over, you know, you can, you in there with your little synthesizer and a brother shows up with a big bass drum.
00:08:30.060You know, I mean, maybe that's what you want to see, though.
00:08:33.620You know, or if you get, I mean, you could get 11 or 9 Asian dudes rolling up on your lady, you know, hanging off over like one of those bicycles in the Guinness Book of World Records.
00:08:42.580You know, you might have 11 or 9, you know, 11 or 9 Asian dudes, you know, some Viettes or some Laotians, you know, popping off, giving her that, you know, that, what's it called when they prick your skin with all those needles at one time?
00:09:00.240I don't know what it's called, man, needle, needle work, you know, if they knitting, they doing all that knitting, boy, they, you know, those little bitty, you know, crazy hammers, you know, the specific hammers.
00:09:11.640A lot of Asians, they come with that specific hammer, you know, almost like they got a, like they're, like a, like they're sewing, you know, they got that little, they got that sewing machine wiener.
00:09:24.740But you get 11 of those, boy, you know, you could call some arrhythmia or something on your old lady.
00:09:31.200But so that, that was Adam's call and you guys gave me, so you guys got some great calls that came in.
00:09:35.420So let's pop into one of those right here.
00:10:50.160However, I think that it can definitely be a huge issue in a relationship if the person has some sort of addiction, which I think that one of my ex-boyfriends had an addiction.
00:11:45.800But there's something that immediately, you know, takes it to another level when you got a woman talking about sexuality and that, you know, right here in this conversation, in this, you know, in this vile little cauldron that we've created here to discuss this dirt topic, you know, onward.
00:12:03.720It was to the point where he would rather lock himself in the bathroom and jerk off than have sex with me.
00:12:11.100Ooh, that's a little silence of the lambsy, you know, he's in there petting that black sheep and you outside looking for some wool, you know.
00:12:23.720I've never, you know, I mean, honestly, I'll tell you this.
00:12:26.940I did have times where, man, I would, when I was seeing a gal, I would masturbate, even when she and I were not having good sex, the sex was not, we were not even having sex at a time.
00:12:41.260And I would still be pleasuring myself, you know.
00:12:44.960So, at that point, there is something going on because, you know, this was a girl that I loved, you know, that I was in love with.
00:12:50.500And I don't know why I wouldn't, you know, exercise that sensuality with her.
00:12:56.480And instead, you know, you know, I'm out, you know, beating that thing like it's a bad school boy, you know, like it just failed the third grade.
00:13:06.160And, you know, I don't know why I do that, why I did that, or why someone does that.
00:13:16.120You know, you really got me thinking here now, Ashley.
00:13:17.880I think some of the reason was just, I almost wonder if some of it was out of a selfishness.
00:13:23.700Like if I don't, like the more I connect with this girl, the more in love, maybe I'll fall more in love.
00:13:31.340And maybe I'll get my feelings hurt, you know, whereas if I just pleasure myself, then I know I'm in control of everything.
00:13:49.740So, I feel like if that's where you're at and he's not willing to admit that it's an issue, then I think that's fair to say that, you know, he should obviously stop.
00:15:53.940Like you said, if it's only a once in a while thing, but if you, if you're doing it instead of giving love to your lady, then yeah, I would consider cheating.
00:16:02.640If you're doing it instead of giving love to your lady.
00:16:04.480And yeah, I mean, I wish, you know, and a, and a caller hit this on the hotline.
00:16:08.160They said, well, why don't you have a therapist call in sometime or come in sometime and discuss some of these things with you.
00:16:13.260And that's something that I hope we'll be able to get into, um, here in the new year.
00:16:20.280We're going to try to, you know, maybe even get into a bigger studio where we can have more applicable space for a guest.
00:16:26.680Uh, those are pipe dreams, but those are real dreams.
00:16:29.680And, and some of that support comes from people supporting on Patreon, um, from our charter sponsors, stuff like that.
00:16:35.400So, but that would be great to have a real therapist sitting in there and then we can try to gun down some of these issues, you know, walk through some of them whenever we're on a day like this, where this is the kind of stuff that we're talking about.
00:16:45.940But if you're keeping it from your lady on purpose, there's something going on there, you know, cause why wouldn't you engage in that sex with somebody else?
00:16:55.380You know, there's also a thing with the man.
00:16:58.060Like once you get close, it's like sometimes whenever you get like a lot of my buddies are in, they're in relationships, marriages, but they have no sexual attraction to their partner.
00:17:07.560Um, you know, it's real stuff out there, man.
00:17:11.240People are really out in these skeet streets and dealing with this stuff.
00:24:45.260You know, there's just a few actors and a few people that keep getting the same jobs over and over again because they monopolized the industry.
00:24:53.280You know, there's only three or four studios that are even making anything.
00:24:58.540You have to have The Rock in any movie.
00:25:01.100You know, these companies know that if they make a movie that costs $100 million and that The Rock is in it, they're going to make $120 million after.
00:25:08.780So they make $20 million profit and that's enough for them.
00:25:11.840They know that they can just use that cookie cutter format every time.
00:25:15.080But the problem is we get bad content until now.
00:26:57.700You know, if you got that gusto headed towards your lady and you sprang in that gusto out in the yard or pulling up there by the Winn-Dixie and masturbating or whatever, then of course.
00:27:08.200You're not going to bring that same gusto into the household.
00:27:14.820If you have it in your planner, first of all, if you have it in your planner, you know, breakfast, gym, yurk off, you know, that kind of stuff, then you got to, then that's definitely not good.
00:27:29.120And I wonder if Adam's fantasy of watching his wife get nailed by another man actually stems from watching porn.
00:27:35.820I don't have any experience with the whole cooking situation.
00:27:39.060And cooking, he's talking about cooking, and that's the thing where you, you know, you have, you know, it's basically tag team where you tag in somebody else and they come in and, you know, put your wife's vagina into a figure four leg lock onward.
00:27:52.620But I would think that being married for only five years, that it may be a little too early to start making those kind of requests in the bedroom.
00:28:01.060And if it was my wife, I know it would kind of freak her out.
00:28:04.220She'd feel like she didn't know who I was, like I wasn't the man she married.
00:28:21.900And then the next thing you know, you know, she's looking in the bedside table.
00:28:25.840The next thing you know, you open the closet door and it's big Ralph, you know, or it's thick Hank, you know, rocking out.
00:28:33.020But, you know, you can't, you know, all of a sudden you're a conductor.
00:28:38.140You're not even a participant in y'all's relationship.
00:28:40.120You're more of a conductor at that point.
00:28:42.080You know, you're just fueling up that, you know, you're fueling up Ralph or Hank if you're getting them Gatorades or anything while they're doing activity.
00:28:50.460You know, so you got to think about some of that.
00:28:54.740And, yeah, maybe you've evolved into some other type of deal, brother, you know, Adam, our original caller.
00:29:00.540Maybe you've evolved or devolved, however you want to look at it.
00:29:52.380You know, his eyes, he looked like he was just trapped.
00:29:54.480His eyes looked like they were just two balls that were trapped in his head.
00:29:59.420But he used to, he eventually actually kidnapped somebody and got busted for pistol whipping some young fella.
00:30:07.100But before that, he was a attendant at a gas station, 24 hour gas station.
00:30:13.340We could get gas and different delectables, mostly fatty delectables like, you know, rotisserie hot dogs and cheese dips and, you know, chips, slim jims, gobstoppers.
00:30:28.080Icy's, freezies, snack cakes, different things like that.
00:30:33.320Sometimes milk, but the milk would only last for a few days or maybe 24 hours.
00:30:37.760You know what I'm talking about, gas station milk.
00:30:39.720A gas station, you know what I'm talking about.
00:30:42.000Well, he worked there and he used to let, he used to let us go sit in there during high school.
00:30:47.440We put lawn chairs in there by the liquor, by the beer cooler and just drink beers back there and just sit in there, like have a little powwow right back in the, by the beer coolers there in the beautifully lit gas station.
00:31:22.280And, you know, man, I've been beating my meat for, again, since the day I can't remember.
00:31:30.200And, you know, ain't nothing wrong with, you know, getting your hands on yourself and staying in touch with yourself and, you know, just being one with yourself and, you know.
00:37:25.500And Baltimore is a place where if you have some spare dope and you don't feel like doing it where you live, you can drive to Baltimore and do it.
00:37:58.200Oh, indeed, the Lord will try to keep you off your own meat, you know.
00:38:02.680He didn't build you and make you into this special creature for you to be, you know, you know, you know, fucking your own hand out there in the yard more.
00:38:12.760I probably do agree that if you're living in a fantasy world, that can't be good for the intimacy of a marriage.
00:38:18.760But I just think calling it cheating is just not a good way to help.
00:38:23.820It's just labeling people something that they're not, that the rest of the world hates, just to try and be more dramatic.
00:39:44.820You know, if you're doing, if you're being like that, you know, if you're patty-caking, you know, but only using one hand and your other hand is a wiener and your own, and it's your own wiener.
00:40:24.340Like a safe, like a safe fire for joy.
00:40:27.380It reminds me when I'm watching the news, when I'm watching the news and there's a story about a little girl who's been kidnapped, and then you sit down and watch for 10 minutes, and the kidnapper is her father, and we're not even sure if he's dangerous.
00:40:41.720It just seems like just a way to get attention to something you don't like by trying to make a big deal about it.
00:40:48.840I know the kidnapping thing is much more serious, but I've always thought that there should be another word for that.
00:40:56.200A lot of times, yeah, you get all these Amber Alerts six, seven times a night, and it's just some child's real father trying to spend some time with them, you know, because there's some bullshit going on with the courts, or it's a real mother just trying to, you know, finally get their kid back from an evil grandparent.
00:41:10.140I agree. It's a lot of clickbait out there, and it makes me wonder, too, maybe even with Adam's call, was he framing it up?
00:41:17.620Is he just trying to, you know, you know, how realistic is he being with us?
00:41:22.280You know, is he just taking us on a wild goose chase, making him think that he's caught up in this wild universe?
00:41:29.000You know, with these, you know, does his wife really think it's cheating, but then he's bringing this in?
00:41:34.820And it sounds like he's not, I think, you know, if we had to come to some overall conclusion, it sounds like Adam's just not making some good choices.
00:41:41.260You know, he's choosing this, and he's going to get caught up.
00:41:43.940And what happens after that? You know, where does that end?
00:41:47.520I mean, that's, you know, that's one of my biggest things, really, is where does that end, you know?
00:41:54.240All right, let's get to one more here.
00:41:56.740Hey, Theo. My name is Gina, and I'm a first-time caller.
00:42:01.260Thanks for calling Gina. That's my mother's name.
00:42:03.320You know, and that's a beautiful name. I don't know.
00:42:06.160I'm going to look up right now what it means.
00:42:07.440I feel kind of sad that I don't even know what Gina means, meaning of Gina.
00:44:29.620I'm calling as a divorced woman of eight years in response to Adam's call.
00:44:38.260Dude, I had to pause your little video because that comment, that call was so creepy that I just, I had to like take a breath and find my cell phone and be like, dude, I got to call that hotline.
00:44:57.680And I don't, I don't, I don't make these calls.
00:44:59.320But you got to hit that hotline when things get squirrely.
00:45:02.640You know, when suddenly you feel like an oak tree because you got squirrels running through your body.
00:45:06.580That's when you need to hit the hotline.
00:45:15.420Anyway, so Adam, you are embarking on a very dangerous path and you'll probably like in six months be dead because like this is the beginning of like how murder mysteries start, bro.
00:45:31.220Like, it all started when Adam said, hey, I want you to, you know, have sex with my friend, Mike, Steve.