This Past Weekend with Theo Von - Tim Dillon and Logan Paul

00:00:00.000 You strike me as a person who found it offensive.

00:00:02.300 No, I mean, me and my friends played with dead people, alive people, people who were

00:00:06.660 in the middle, but we just didn't, we couldn't get, you know, we just couldn't get any, we

00:00:11.180 couldn't monetize it because we were, we were from the generation that can't monetize the

00:00:16.320 sociopathy, but.

00:00:17.580 Are you training, man?

00:00:40.100 Yeah, man, I am.

00:00:42.040 Honestly, man, your face looks leaner than the last time I saw you.

00:00:46.040 I lost five pounds, dude.

00:00:48.120 I got a sinus infection, though.

00:00:49.740 Not a good five pound loss, though.

00:00:51.300 I got a sinus, can you hear my nose?

00:00:53.700 I'm like congested.

00:00:54.620 A sinus infection will make you lose five pounds?

00:00:56.420 Yeah.

00:00:56.680 I've been sick for weeks, literally nothing.

00:00:59.280 You've been sick?

00:00:59.980 Well, no, I've said I've been, I've had sinus infections.

00:01:02.200 I've never lost any weight.

00:01:03.180 I have no appetite.

00:01:04.220 Wow.

00:01:04.780 You don't look 100% well, honestly.

00:01:07.560 Well, it's the keto, you know, I'm transforming into something else.

00:01:11.040 Yeah.

00:01:11.420 Takes a while.

00:01:12.160 What are you transforming into?

00:01:13.260 The next person I'll be.

00:01:14.340 I don't know.

00:01:16.240 That remains to be seen.

00:01:17.660 I hope it's a cop.

00:01:18.540 I don't know.

00:01:19.020 It could be.

00:01:19.500 Somebody who sells insurance.

00:01:20.700 I hope his name's Garrett.

00:01:21.760 Yeah.

00:01:22.120 I hope so, too.

00:01:23.660 I hope so, too.

00:01:25.520 Garrett, bro.

00:01:26.860 Dude, first of all, honestly, number one name that I cannot, it's just built into my system

00:01:32.340 somehow.

00:01:32.740 I can't react well with it.

00:01:33.920 People named Terry.

00:01:35.480 Yeah.

00:01:35.940 And especially if it's a man.

00:01:37.080 I was going to say, I can get away with the female Terrys.

00:01:40.500 Guy Terrys, I don't know.

00:01:41.520 Not so much.

00:01:42.820 Yeah.

00:01:43.360 It's just like.

00:01:44.360 It's a name you give a kid when you want them to have a hard life.

00:01:47.200 Yeah.

00:01:47.660 Yeah.

00:01:48.040 Terry.

00:01:48.460 Little Terry.

00:01:49.180 Ooh.

00:01:49.580 Yeah.

00:01:50.160 We had a little guy named Terry by us, this little black fella, and he would always drink

00:01:53.320 milk at the park, dude.

00:01:54.240 And you had no idea how he got it.

00:01:55.580 And he was always there, dude.

00:01:56.640 How's he doing now?

00:01:57.780 I've never seen him.

00:01:58.620 Yeah, that's a great question.

00:02:00.240 That's something to be said, right?

00:02:01.060 Yeah, this is 26 years ago, dude.

00:02:02.640 And we're always like, where are your parents, you know?

00:02:04.260 And he didn't even know.

00:02:05.400 No.

00:02:05.920 Yeah.

00:02:06.220 It's almost like he was just born in a birdbath or something.

00:02:09.780 But who knows, man?

00:02:10.860 New Orleans legend.

00:02:12.240 What are you training for?

00:02:13.280 Are you actually training for this fight?

00:02:15.360 I know you just did a fight, Logan.

00:02:17.480 Yeah.

00:02:17.800 I had a fight last year, August 25th.

00:02:19.500 And then, yeah, another one this year, November 9th.

00:02:22.240 Same kid.

00:02:22.860 It's the rematch.

00:02:23.580 Okay.

00:02:23.860 Round two.

00:02:24.380 So professional fight, no headgear, staple center.

00:02:27.640 It's going to be sick, man.

00:02:28.600 And you guys think you'll sell it out?

00:02:30.000 I think so.

00:02:30.760 Wow.

00:02:31.080 I think so.

00:02:31.780 That's crazy.

00:02:33.000 It's a big fight.

00:02:33.680 The whole undercard is professional fights.

00:02:35.740 Yeah.

00:02:36.060 It's like your first professional fight.

00:02:38.880 Yeah.

00:02:39.220 Oh, really?

00:02:39.820 Yeah, I'm undefeated.

00:02:40.600 I'm undefeated so far.

00:02:41.980 I'm 0-1, bro.

00:02:43.040 And you probably beat your brother's ass for years, too, didn't you?

00:02:45.800 We stopped because we both got...

00:02:47.480 Have you met him?

00:02:48.160 Yeah, I met him.

00:02:48.780 He's big, dude.

00:02:49.680 The kid's a thick little Oreo.

00:02:51.520 Yeah.

00:02:51.760 Yeah, so we had to stop fighting because we destroy everything.

00:02:56.940 Yeah.

00:02:57.260 You know, in the house.

00:02:58.060 Right.

00:02:58.380 When both the brothers get so big that they'll destroy everything in the house.

00:03:02.100 Yeah, chairs, tables, glass.

00:03:03.760 So we stopped.

00:03:04.620 So it's been a minute since I was...

00:03:05.660 And he's got a little bit of Flintstone in him, too, a little more than...

00:03:08.000 He really does, man.

00:03:09.220 You know, he's got that, I noticed.

00:03:10.560 And I couldn't tell if he was like 19 or like 38.

00:03:14.760 You know what I'm saying?

00:03:15.060 Yeah, he could go either way.

00:03:15.920 Yeah.

00:03:16.400 The hair doesn't give it away.

00:03:17.760 Well, I mean, it's just kind of like...

00:03:19.460 Just like the high and tight for years now.

00:03:21.440 But I think he...

00:03:22.220 I don't know what it was.

00:03:23.220 He just has...

00:03:23.940 He reminds me of every guy who owns like a nice boat in Florida.

00:03:26.800 That's what he reminded me of.

00:03:27.400 Yeah.

00:03:27.820 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:03:28.600 Wasn't there a thing where he was going to fight someone, too?

00:03:30.780 You were going to do it?

00:03:31.600 And then wasn't your dad going to fight somebody?

00:03:33.320 So we...

00:03:34.160 Oh, fuck yeah, dude.

00:03:34.740 Yeah.

00:03:35.160 Dude, the whole family was going to fight.

00:03:37.080 Dude, I hope your dad fights that older black guy.

00:03:39.380 He's like a...

00:03:40.540 He's a politician, but he's like from...

00:03:42.680 He can't even talk.

00:03:43.540 And everybody's like, he's the best.

00:03:44.760 And he's like...

00:03:45.600 Yeah, that's exactly who his dad was going to fight.

00:03:49.080 It's a good guess.

00:03:49.980 I want my dad to fight Jussie Smollett.

00:03:52.160 I think that'd be a good fight.

00:03:53.080 That would be great.

00:03:54.040 You know what I'm saying?

00:03:54.520 That would be great.

00:03:55.240 Me and GP and Jussie Smollett just...

00:03:57.660 Dude, that would be...

00:03:58.100 Throwing hands.

00:03:59.040 Phenomenal.

00:03:59.500 Yeah.

00:04:01.080 Your dad would probably take care of that man.

00:04:02.940 He would beat that man up.

00:04:03.680 I mean, dude...

00:04:04.460 Who knows?

00:04:05.160 Go on his Instagram.

00:04:06.160 You'll see all this man does is chop wood and tie tomahawks to his motorcycle.

00:04:10.720 Yeah.

00:04:11.260 Jussie Smollett?

00:04:12.200 No, not Jussie Smollett.

00:04:14.220 Not my dad.

00:04:15.220 He flips tires, he chops wood, and he ties tomahawks to his BMW motorcycle.

00:04:18.020 Here's the thing, though, if Jussie Smollett beat your dad, you'd have to kill your father.

00:04:22.040 Oh, yeah.

00:04:22.680 Oh, yeah.

00:04:23.220 Like, you couldn't ever look at your father.

00:04:24.500 No, I know that.

00:04:25.440 It couldn't...

00:04:25.980 You know, there's no...

00:04:26.920 Christmas is over.

00:04:28.360 Everything's done.

00:04:28.880 Yeah.

00:04:29.040 Yeah.

00:04:29.360 If Jussie wins.

00:04:30.840 Yeah, that's wild.

00:04:31.860 It's that Jussie Smollett.

00:04:33.660 I can't believe if he fought your dad.

00:04:37.060 Yeah, I think...

00:04:38.200 Well, like, historically, he's not so good at defending himself, right?

00:04:41.440 Right, that's true.

00:04:42.440 Right, yeah.

00:04:43.220 Oh, yeah, your dad would...

00:04:44.120 I think you're...

00:04:44.620 Honestly, dude, I have no idea what your dad even looked like, and I think he would beat

00:04:49.000 him.

00:04:49.100 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:04:49.480 Yeah, I agree.

00:04:50.900 Yeah.

00:04:51.120 But a lot of...

00:04:51.940 I'm afraid of his dad.

00:04:53.200 I don't know his dad, but I'm afraid.

00:04:54.460 Most people are, dude.

00:04:55.500 I'm afraid...

00:04:56.000 A guy that would raise you and your brother, I think, has got to be insane.

00:04:58.500 That's a good point.

00:04:59.380 And who will kill someone, you know?

00:05:00.500 And I appreciate that.

00:05:01.320 It's definitely a property owner.

00:05:02.680 Yeah, it's a real deal guy.

00:05:04.260 Oh, yeah.

00:05:04.640 Yes.

00:05:05.080 You know?

00:05:05.880 It's a real deal guy.

00:05:06.960 That's not a guy...

00:05:08.120 That's not a music teacher that didn't bring up these two boys.

00:05:10.500 You know what I mean?

00:05:11.820 This is a guy that, like, smacked you around a little bit, made you go out and light the

00:05:15.740 world on fire.

00:05:16.520 Yeah, this ain't a guy that owns a bunch of cologne.

00:05:18.680 No, no.

00:05:19.460 This guy's not...

00:05:20.860 There was...

00:05:21.200 No.

00:05:21.560 He didn't read poetry before dinner, you know?

00:05:23.900 This was a guy that got into it, you know?

00:05:26.060 Yeah, this guy who...

00:05:27.200 And mom is probably also somewhat taught, right?

00:05:29.520 No, mom's a sweetheart.

00:05:30.520 Oh, mom's sweet.

00:05:31.220 Mom's the exact opposite.

00:05:32.160 So mom goes the other way.

00:05:33.180 She's like a sweet...

00:05:34.100 Okay, yeah.

00:05:34.560 And if you even look at his mom, you hear an oven door opening.

00:05:37.200 Oh, yeah.

00:05:37.420 Because they also could have been raised by, like, a Long Island mom.

00:05:41.180 That's...

00:05:41.460 I could also see that, like, a tough Long Island bitch.

00:05:44.480 Sweetheart.

00:05:44.920 Sweetheart.

00:05:45.340 Oh, yeah.

00:05:45.900 And you guys are from where?

00:05:46.700 Ohio?

00:05:47.060 Ohio.

00:05:47.500 Yeah.

00:05:48.860 Middle Ohio.

00:05:49.740 Did you guys...

00:05:50.440 Were you friends with Roman Atwood?

00:05:52.360 I was.

00:05:52.880 I am.

00:05:53.480 Oh, nice.

00:05:53.820 Yeah, I still am.

00:05:54.460 Yeah, Roman's...

00:05:55.120 Have you met him?

00:05:55.680 Yeah.

00:05:56.160 Roman's awesome.

00:05:56.740 Yeah, super cool guy.

00:05:57.680 Down to earth.

00:05:58.220 He's a special dude, man.

00:05:59.220 He's really cool.

00:05:59.840 Dude, actually, speaking of fight, they had a thing when I was young called, and this

00:06:05.100 is, you know, fag fist fights was a thing, and it would come to colleges when I was in

00:06:10.000 college, and it would be two gay men and this lesbian lady, and you'd go watch them,

00:06:14.860 and they would fist fight.

00:06:15.920 See, college used to be so much fun.

00:06:17.460 Yeah.

00:06:17.980 You know, before now, all this PC shit now, everything's soft.

00:06:21.400 Yeah.

00:06:21.600 That used to be great.

00:06:22.640 Imagine trying to do that now.

00:06:24.120 It's called fag fighting, and we have two gay guys, and it's to first blood, so the first

00:06:30.060 AIDS blood splatter, we're done.

00:06:32.840 Then we're done with the fight.

00:06:34.280 That would be rough now, to get away with.

00:06:36.380 Yo, yo, I'm going to get canceled just from being on this fight.

00:06:38.820 Yeah, yeah, you will be canceled.

00:06:39.900 That's what we're trying to do.

00:06:40.820 Watch me say no words, and I'm the one that gets out.

00:06:43.400 Well, you can't be canceled.

00:06:44.240 You're above cancellation.

00:06:45.460 So, apparently, it doesn't exist.

00:06:47.260 Cancellation, it doesn't exist anymore.

00:06:48.340 It's over.

00:06:48.680 Yeah, it's over.

00:06:49.460 Well, here's the thing, though.

00:06:50.340 That's the thing.

00:06:50.800 They've been trying to cancel Trump.

00:06:52.340 Yeah.

00:06:53.440 They never will.

00:06:54.080 How'd that work out for you?

00:06:55.440 He's about to get picked up for four more years.

00:06:57.200 Four more seasons.

00:06:59.440 But isn't it crazy when you think, like, the president was a reality, I mean, also, he

00:07:05.000 was a businessman, right?

00:07:06.260 And a shady businessman, I think.

00:07:07.740 Like, I'm not anti-Trump like a lot of crazy people are.

00:07:10.680 Like, I don't give a fuck.

00:07:11.800 You know, I live my life.

00:07:13.140 I don't, the government doesn't determine every, you know.

00:07:16.380 But he's a reality star.

00:07:18.120 Cardi B was a reality star.

00:07:19.500 Cardi B could be president.

00:07:20.360 And she's, like, the biggest pop sensation.

00:07:22.720 It's just, it's all starting to kind of blend together.

00:07:25.320 Yeah, I think a Kardashian will be the governor of California.

00:07:27.980 I'm not even kidding, though.

00:07:29.180 I mean, I think, you see what Kim is doing right now with the prison reform and stuff.

00:07:33.740 I think it's going in that direction.

00:07:35.020 And I gotta be honest with you, I don't, I'm not mad at it.

00:07:38.120 Yeah.

00:07:38.480 I'm ready for the new world.

00:07:40.540 You know who'd be a sick governor is Kris, Kris Jenner.

00:07:42.700 Yeah.

00:07:43.140 She a bad bitch.

00:07:44.220 He's got 50 years left on the planet.

00:07:46.380 Why not have fun?

00:07:47.360 Yeah, yeah.

00:07:47.920 Why not have the whole lot of fun?

00:07:49.160 Oh, wait, hold up.

00:07:49.840 50?

00:07:50.120 That's it?

00:07:51.080 Probably.

00:07:51.540 It's going to get rough after 50.

00:07:54.120 Yeah, it's going to get hot.

00:07:55.460 We're saying literally, we're saying literally Kris Jenner is a good option.

00:07:59.040 And I agree with you.

00:07:59.940 Yeah.

00:08:00.120 It's going to get rough.

00:08:01.580 For Christmas, people are going to be getting shields.

00:08:04.240 Yeah, it's going to be tough.

00:08:05.140 I mean, there's a lot of tents.

00:08:06.660 Yeah.

00:08:06.880 There's a lot of tents.

00:08:07.660 There's a lot of tents, yeah.

00:08:08.440 You know?

00:08:08.840 But also, I think, in California, like, you go to the rest of America, everybody's really

00:08:12.300 kind of just enjoying, you know, things are going pretty cool.

00:08:14.980 I feel like out here, there's this spider web, like, everything's falling apart.

00:08:19.520 Right.

00:08:20.000 Like, yeah, you do a fist fighting like that, a gay fist fighting at bars.

00:08:24.300 Dude, when I'm from, people would go see it, have a blast.

00:08:27.400 Yahoo would make an article about it.

00:08:29.200 But nobody really fucking, I don't think, is watching that shit anymore.

00:08:33.520 Certainly not Yahoo.

00:08:34.460 Or reading.

00:08:35.380 Yes.

00:08:35.960 But I don't think anybody's even reading these websites.

00:08:38.200 Do you feel like-

00:08:39.320 Nobody cares.

00:08:40.180 The mainstream stuff?

00:08:41.180 Nobody cared about Chappelle, whether there's three people are mad at Chappelle's, and then

00:08:44.280 everybody's debating it.

00:08:45.220 It's like, no, nobody cared.

00:08:46.220 No, it's the, yeah, the minority becomes the majority, somehow.

00:08:48.660 Yeah.

00:08:49.140 Somehow, because of, like, the amplification of social media.

00:08:51.680 Yeah, it sucks.

00:08:52.500 But I don't think it's, do you feel like it's that effect?

00:08:54.680 I feel like it really kind of falls on deaf ears.

00:08:57.860 It's like-

00:08:58.540 I think it's the worst thing now is if people aren't mad at you.

00:09:00.840 Right.

00:09:01.200 Like, the worst thing now is if people, if you're not controversial, it's almost like

00:09:04.760 you're done.

00:09:05.340 The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference.

00:09:08.640 Yeah, which is-

00:09:09.280 Is it?

00:09:09.800 That's a great quote.

00:09:10.740 Apathy.

00:09:11.180 Apathy, dude.

00:09:11.780 Like, yo, imagine, like, truly, no one gave a fuck about you.

00:09:15.240 A hundred percent.

00:09:16.020 At least you make them feel something.

00:09:17.580 Right.

00:09:17.920 If they don't like you.

00:09:18.040 I try to get attention all the time.

00:09:19.520 I tweet everything.

00:09:20.440 I just tweet out.

00:09:21.300 Are you that?

00:09:22.000 Well, I mean, I try to tweet out things hoping to, you know, to get something and no one

00:09:26.320 cares.

00:09:26.680 Everyone's like, yeah, that's okay.

00:09:27.760 You ever rile anyone up?

00:09:29.060 Sometimes people get mad.

00:09:30.000 People are caring more now, though.

00:09:31.220 I think people are caring more now.

00:09:31.820 Your career's getting bigger now.

00:09:32.460 Yeah, it's been better now.

00:09:33.860 Last six months.

00:09:34.980 Yeah.

00:09:35.140 You know, I had to really turn it up, you know, say Meghan McCain fucked her dad.

00:09:38.620 I had to take it to the next level.

00:09:39.920 Oh, yeah.

00:09:40.500 Yeah.

00:09:40.700 And then people were like, oh, okay.

00:09:42.140 We'll listen to this.

00:09:42.900 Incest will get people to move.

00:09:44.140 Yeah.

00:09:44.400 I had to say she had sex with her father's corpse and then people were like, oh, okay.

00:09:48.560 But here's the thing about incest, dude.

00:09:50.660 Everybody's like, oh, no, no.

00:09:52.160 Right?

00:09:52.520 Yeah.

00:09:52.880 But what I'm thinking about is, dude, back in the day, you didn't have, the only people

00:09:58.220 that lived around you were kind of family or somebody that was, you know.

00:10:01.520 Yeah.

00:10:01.820 Close.

00:10:02.180 And you didn't have, everyone didn't have a bicycle or like if you had a bicycle, then

00:10:06.260 yeah, maybe you'd fuck somebody that wasn't distantly related to you.

00:10:09.320 Yeah.

00:10:09.540 But if you didn't, you could only have sex with as far as you could walk or as far as

00:10:13.240 you could, you know, so you would, people would have sex more locally.

00:10:16.680 Yeah.

00:10:16.780 You didn't have a choice.

00:10:17.380 I think that still goes on.

00:10:18.660 I think that's still probably happening.

00:10:20.160 Oh, yeah.

00:10:20.440 There's some areas and stuff you go and you're like, oh, everybody's not a...

00:10:23.260 I think people are using that exact rationale too when they're in court.

00:10:26.320 They're like, listen, I have sex as far as I walk.

00:10:29.460 And then there's a judge going, okay.

00:10:31.640 Sounds great.

00:10:32.320 Yeah.

00:10:32.600 Yeah.

00:10:33.700 I only have one bike.

00:10:35.460 Yeah.

00:10:36.160 I can't get anywhere.

00:10:37.320 We don't have Uber.

00:10:38.360 Yeah.

00:10:38.780 I got a skateboard.

00:10:39.820 I got a skateboard.

00:10:41.180 But I just think back in the day and then at a certain point, they're like, look, you got

00:10:44.340 to get some exercise.

00:10:45.280 You're going to have to...

00:10:45.900 You have to walk.

00:10:46.540 Well, not because of Uber, because of birds.

00:10:48.760 I don't want to hear any excuses about you not being able to travel five plus miles.

00:10:53.260 I got birds in line, scooters lying around every corner.

00:10:56.060 Yeah.

00:10:56.140 You should be able to fuck not your siblings.

00:10:59.380 Yeah.

00:10:59.880 Or not like...

00:11:01.060 Yeah.

00:11:01.140 Unless you want to.

00:11:02.020 I feel like that's a whole nother problem.

00:11:05.520 That's a whole nother problem.

00:11:06.300 Yeah.

00:11:06.520 But it shouldn't be transportation.

00:11:07.580 I would never want to, man.

00:11:08.620 I thought maybe my sister was cute for like six months, you know?

00:11:13.080 But...

00:11:13.120 It's a while.

00:11:13.960 We were both children.

00:11:15.300 Yeah.

00:11:15.400 It's a decent amount of time.

00:11:16.320 What age were you?

00:11:17.700 We were kids, man.

00:11:18.700 30.

00:11:19.040 Yeah.

00:11:19.480 No.

00:11:19.820 She was like nine and I think I was like 13 or something.

00:11:22.840 But I didn't think she was like hot or such.

00:11:24.760 Oh, that's a cute kid that lives at our house, you know?

00:11:26.740 Right.

00:11:27.540 Right.

00:11:27.980 Which is good.

00:11:28.540 That's...

00:11:28.780 But anyway, what about the...

00:11:30.800 So the fight...

00:11:31.560 So this is going to be a real...

00:11:32.780 So will this fight go on to some like W like sanctioned card?

00:11:37.100 Or what is that like?

00:11:37.740 Yeah, man.

00:11:38.020 Yeah.

00:11:38.440 Yeah.

00:11:39.880 Yeah.

00:11:40.300 Wow.

00:11:40.560 It's legit, man.

00:11:41.540 Eddie Hearn's promoting it.

00:11:42.600 He's one of the biggest boxing promoters in the world.

00:11:44.980 It's not the biggest.

00:11:46.120 It's going to be on the DAZN app.

00:11:47.600 Mm-hmm.

00:11:49.100 D-A-Z-N, right?

00:11:50.340 I think is what it is.

00:11:50.780 Shameless plug.

00:11:51.420 DAZN app.

00:11:52.100 But yeah, bro.

00:11:52.680 It's going to be fucking crazy.

00:11:53.620 Going to throw a little one-two.

00:11:54.960 One-two action.

00:11:55.820 Three-four action.

00:11:56.400 What would be different about this fight than the first one that you did?

00:11:58.580 And I didn't see the first one.

00:11:59.680 I know it was like it had a million streams.

00:12:01.620 I know that.

00:12:02.280 A million streams.

00:12:03.260 Two million pirated, by the way.

00:12:05.140 Crazy.

00:12:05.620 Like lost $20 million in one night.

00:12:07.580 20 million plus in one night.

00:12:09.080 Isn't that crazy?

00:12:09.880 Fucking sucks, dude.

00:12:10.960 It sucks.

00:12:11.180 Yeah.

00:12:12.300 And were you getting paid on buys and stuff?

00:12:14.320 Or is that...

00:12:14.500 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:12:14.920 We were getting paid on buys.

00:12:15.640 It was no flat fee.

00:12:16.520 Because we did it through YouTube.

00:12:17.780 Right.

00:12:17.900 And now DAZN, we have...

00:12:19.080 DAZN bought the fight.

00:12:20.400 They bought the rights to the fight.

00:12:21.760 The difference this time is like...

00:12:23.220 Yo, last time I went in as a YouTuber who...

00:12:25.400 Who had to learn how to box in like three or four months.

00:12:28.840 Boxing is hard.

00:12:29.900 Boxing is not a sport you can just walk into and rely on your athleticism to make you do well.

00:12:35.160 Which I did.

00:12:36.080 Right.

00:12:36.260 And I did okay.

00:12:37.320 But for the past year, I've been training like pretty rigorously.

00:12:41.660 Yeah.

00:12:41.780 And so this time, I'm actually...

00:12:43.420 I would consider myself a fully vetted boxer.

00:12:46.440 Well, yeah.

00:12:46.760 Because your energy even felt different.

00:12:47.880 Even when you came in here and when I went on Impulsive.

00:12:50.680 Oh, yeah.

00:12:51.240 I was...

00:12:51.900 It just seemed like you had...

00:12:53.380 I was like, oh, wow.

00:12:53.980 This guy looks a little bit leaner, a little more...

00:12:58.360 You just seemed a little bit like more of an athlete, I think, in a way.

00:13:01.880 Oh, really?

00:13:02.200 Oh, for real?

00:13:02.980 Honestly, you had a serious energy.

00:13:04.500 You weren't...

00:13:04.900 I thought you'd be goofier.

00:13:06.040 Yes.

00:13:06.440 I thought you'd walk in with like a goofy energy.

00:13:08.360 Yo, life is all...

00:13:09.240 Like a wild energy.

00:13:10.160 Yeah, for sure.

00:13:10.360 Life's all about phases.

00:13:10.660 I thought you went in and like looked down like Rocky, like you're ready.

00:13:13.740 I mean, I'm focused right now, but also, boys, I'm fucking sick.

00:13:17.400 I am on the cusp of death.

00:13:18.940 Okay.

00:13:19.200 Really?

00:13:19.720 No, like I'm ill right now.

00:13:21.580 You look fine, though.

00:13:22.540 You sure?

00:13:23.040 Because my face feels red in my...

00:13:24.460 But also...

00:13:25.360 Yeah.

00:13:25.820 He's dead.

00:13:26.280 I've been on the...

00:13:26.880 Yeah, I've seen some real corpses, but...

00:13:31.380 He looks good.

00:13:32.940 He seems fine.

00:13:33.800 You wouldn't think he's sick.

00:13:36.240 I mean, I think I would...

00:13:37.700 I've seen...

00:13:38.160 You know, I...

00:13:39.020 People...

00:13:39.560 I think you don't look sick, yeah.

00:13:41.360 I think you look like a guy who maybe...

00:13:43.400 Thanks, man.

00:13:43.700 Right.

00:13:43.960 You know, I think if you didn't sleep for maybe a night or two, you'd look like a guy

00:13:47.500 who was probably doing a lot of drugs, probably.

00:13:49.240 What's the training regimen?

00:13:50.380 Like, what are you doing every day?

00:13:51.340 I want to get inspired.

00:13:52.200 I want to get a training regimen that I can...

00:13:54.180 Are you working out, by the way, or just...

00:13:55.520 Well, it depends.

00:13:57.460 You tell me what working out is.

00:13:59.080 You tell me what working out is, and then I'll tell you what I'm doing.

00:14:02.000 You mean using a CPAP?

00:14:03.380 Yeah.

00:14:03.760 What do you mean by working out?

00:14:05.240 Do you mean going to the doctor?

00:14:07.920 Yes.

00:14:08.400 But no.

00:14:09.680 So what do you do?

00:14:10.420 What's your regimen?

00:14:11.220 And then I'll tell you my regimen.

00:14:13.000 We train twice a day.

00:14:14.300 Okay.

00:14:14.520 So already I'm not doing that.

00:14:15.700 I don't do that.

00:14:16.480 I don't believe in twice a day.

00:14:17.820 But that's the way you want to do it.

00:14:18.940 It's fine.

00:14:19.280 It's a bit above average.

00:14:20.240 Yeah.

00:14:20.640 Twice a day to me is a little mush.

00:14:22.080 So yeah, you just took the lead.

00:14:24.080 Yeah.

00:14:24.260 You just took the lead.

00:14:25.240 But what about you?

00:14:26.020 I went to some training this morning.

00:14:29.060 I see a trainer now.

00:14:30.580 So three days a week.

00:14:31.580 And I just hired a yoga trainer as well.

00:14:33.920 Are you fucked with yoga?

00:14:35.060 So I'm going to do that.

00:14:35.740 Yeah.

00:14:35.960 A yoga trainer?

00:14:37.920 What is that?

00:14:39.120 Somebody motivates you to do yoga?

00:14:40.680 Basically like a sculptor basically.

00:14:42.140 That's insane.

00:14:42.880 You get into a bad position and they just sculpt you into a better world.

00:14:44.900 Is it just a middle-aged lonely woman who's like,

00:14:47.180 Theo, it's time.

00:14:48.480 I hope so.

00:14:49.240 It's time, Theo.

00:14:49.780 Oh, you haven't trained with a yoga trainer yet?

00:14:52.000 No, no, no.

00:14:52.360 She's going to come next week.

00:14:53.320 Because they're normally yoga instructors.

00:14:56.100 Yeah.

00:14:56.200 I've never heard of a yoga trainer, like a hype woman, to get you really into it.

00:14:59.660 Well, dude, if I flip my dog well, she gives me like a little bacon or something.

00:15:02.620 Oh, yeah.

00:15:03.620 So I think that's the thing.

00:15:04.920 Just make sure you roll out of bed excited.

00:15:07.800 But no, I go, but I just don't do it as much as I used to.

00:15:10.640 But I know that when I do, I feel better.

00:15:12.180 So I'm trying to get it more into my life.

00:15:13.640 Do you meditate?

00:15:14.580 Yeah.

00:15:15.100 I got to start doing that.

00:15:16.620 Hey, where are you from again?

00:15:17.640 I'm from Louisiana.

00:15:18.600 What do your parents think about the meditation?

00:15:21.180 My mother really believes in it.

00:15:22.660 And my father's deceased.

00:15:23.940 So he probably tries to contact me through it, I guess.

00:15:26.880 Yeah.

00:15:27.840 But I don't know.

00:15:28.780 Or he still thinks it's gay.

00:15:30.560 He probably still could.

00:15:31.500 You know, he's like, I still don't support this.

00:15:33.840 Dude, when I was young, a lot of stuff was pretty gay, bro.

00:15:36.420 You know what I mean?

00:15:37.300 Even Jingle Bells, dude.

00:15:37.940 He's like, what is that?

00:15:38.740 Are you sitting on a dick, Theo?

00:15:40.200 He's just upset somewhere in heaven.

00:15:42.960 He wouldn't think all of that, dude.

00:15:45.000 He was real tall.

00:15:46.120 What is the regimen?

00:15:47.000 I want to hear this.

00:15:48.000 You wake up.

00:15:48.760 Yeah, we wake up.

00:15:49.640 We run.

00:15:50.240 We box.

00:15:50.900 How long do you run?

00:15:51.340 Hold on a second.

00:15:51.900 Hold on, Tim.

00:15:53.300 Who is we?

00:15:54.760 Me and my bro.

00:15:55.980 Oh, so your brother's right there with you the whole time.

00:15:58.100 Sometimes.

00:15:58.400 He wasn't today, but most of the time, yeah.

00:16:00.980 And is that just a commitment you guys made?

00:16:04.220 I think he's going to fight on the undercard.

00:16:05.720 I think he's going to fight on the undercard.

00:16:07.640 And he enjoys boxing just like me.

00:16:09.880 Like, you hired a yoga trainer and a personal trainer.

00:16:13.580 To me, boxing is just as effective workout-wise, and it's a practical skill.

00:16:19.480 Like, I don't like picking up weights.

00:16:20.780 I haven't picked up a weight in two, three years.

00:16:22.380 Because, like, yeah, you look good.

00:16:24.820 You sculpt yourself.

00:16:25.540 You feel good.

00:16:26.180 But boxing, not only does all that happen, but, like, you know, like, let's be honest.

00:16:30.140 But also it's a good skill because you can beat someone's eyes.

00:16:32.440 You might have to attack someone.

00:16:33.480 I mean, who knows?

00:16:34.240 Somebody might say something you don't like.

00:16:35.680 You might have to attack them in a club or a restaurant.

00:16:37.820 I'll never attack.

00:16:38.800 I'll never attack.

00:16:39.220 I'll antagonize.

00:16:40.040 Hey, hey, listen.

00:16:41.160 You know, who knows?

00:16:41.680 Whatever happens, happens.

00:16:42.660 Who knows?

00:16:43.280 It's a good skill to have.

00:16:44.840 Okay, so you and your brother go out there.

00:16:46.560 Do you have a trainer, too, or not?

00:16:48.480 I do, yeah.

00:16:49.180 Okay.

00:16:49.560 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:16:49.720 His name's Milton.

00:16:50.640 Okay.

00:16:51.200 Yeah.

00:16:51.840 And so you guys go out with him, and you guys are doing...

00:16:54.540 We're doing it all, bro.

00:16:54.700 And then you guys hit the ring.

00:16:55.640 Are you hitting the ring?

00:16:56.200 I don't know you have a boxing ring at home.

00:16:57.160 Boxing ring in my backyard.

00:16:58.180 Yeah.

00:16:58.400 You seen it?

00:16:58.760 Wow.

00:16:58.860 I saw that.

00:16:59.600 Seen it?

00:16:59.980 I saw that.

00:17:00.260 So you're hitting that every day.

00:17:01.660 Every day, bro.

00:17:02.120 Wow.

00:17:02.760 So five-mile run?

00:17:03.780 We out here.

00:17:04.240 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:17:04.960 We do about three, three, four right now, but we'll get up to the five miles.

00:17:07.940 We're two months out, so if you peak now, we're fucked.

00:17:11.280 Yeah.

00:17:11.580 You know?

00:17:11.900 Right.

00:17:12.040 You got to train it and get the spurts of exerting yourself.

00:17:16.800 And are you guys blowing a lot of gas?

00:17:18.760 Each of y'all talking a lot of shit, you and the other guy?

00:17:21.220 It just got announced.

00:17:21.960 Dude, it just got announced yesterday.

00:17:23.800 Oh, wow.

00:17:23.960 Yeah.

00:17:24.100 So we haven't really had a chance to do it, man.

00:17:27.440 I wish I could use your wit.

00:17:29.780 I'm going to actually channel you, Theo, because I feel like I'd be able to hurl a lot of good

00:17:34.520 insults.

00:17:35.100 Oh, dude.

00:17:35.620 Do you guys not like each other?

00:17:36.900 Is it like one of those things?

00:17:38.020 No, I hate the kid.

00:17:39.080 Really?

00:17:39.720 Yeah, yeah.

00:17:40.240 And he's a black kid from England.

00:17:42.740 That's not why I hate him.

00:17:43.620 No, no, no.

00:17:44.040 I know.

00:17:44.300 I'm not saying that.

00:17:45.100 No, I see what you're doing.

00:17:46.300 Yeah.

00:17:46.780 So you're fighting for the white race.

00:17:47.940 It's called trickery.

00:17:48.660 I'm going to follow up with this.

00:17:50.000 Okay.

00:17:50.360 But what's his name?

00:17:51.320 He's like the biggest YouTube guy in England, right?

00:17:54.080 Yeah.

00:17:54.880 Oh, he is?

00:17:55.500 Yeah, I think so.

00:17:56.820 Oh, okay.

00:17:57.340 I didn't know.

00:17:57.920 I've never seen him.

00:17:58.580 I know his name's KR1.

00:17:59.980 That's right.

00:18:01.020 Yeah, no one.

00:18:01.600 I mean, I'm going to be honest.

00:18:02.960 If you're in America, like, you don't know who the kid is.

00:18:04.740 We don't.

00:18:05.180 Well, here's the thing.

00:18:05.680 First of all, if we wanted to be in Britain so bad, we'd have stayed over there, dude.

00:18:09.520 That's what I'm saying.

00:18:09.760 That's what I'm saying.

00:18:10.340 Our ancestors made good choices.

00:18:11.740 Here's how bad it was going.

00:18:12.940 When we got into a boat, left there, people were like, where are you going?

00:18:16.220 We're like, we don't even fucking know, bro.

00:18:19.060 But we're leaving, dude.

00:18:20.660 We're out.

00:18:21.960 Imagine it being that bad, dude.

00:18:23.860 We're out.

00:18:24.560 It's gone.

00:18:25.280 It's that bad.

00:18:25.840 You don't have enough gas to get there.

00:18:27.140 And you'd be like, yeah, we'll fucking, we'll see what the Lord wants.

00:18:29.500 We'll figure it out.

00:18:30.280 We got this barrel of pepper.

00:18:32.860 That's what we need.

00:18:33.800 We got some spices and we're good to go.

00:18:35.840 Man, those pilgrims are nutty, huh?

00:18:37.800 So this is, was the first bout here in the U.S. as well?

00:18:41.680 No, it was in Manchester.

00:18:43.600 Oh, nice.

00:18:44.500 Now LA, Staples Center, home field advantage.

00:18:47.180 You got it, dude.

00:18:47.800 That's what I'm saying.

00:18:49.020 Do you feel like the first one, it was a draw?

00:18:52.200 It was a draw.

00:18:52.920 It was a tie, man.

00:18:53.840 Yeah, it sucked.

00:18:54.960 Do you feel like it was a tie?

00:18:56.320 Nah, I feel like I won.

00:18:57.300 He looks like a tough dude.

00:18:58.280 He looks like a guy.

00:18:59.100 He looks like a formidable opponent.

00:19:00.540 Is his picture behind me?

00:19:01.520 Yes.

00:19:01.620 I think so, yeah.

00:19:02.520 Unless that's just another guy.

00:19:03.880 What the fuck?

00:19:05.200 I mean, bro.

00:19:07.000 KS1.

00:19:07.520 Look at his face.

00:19:08.580 How are you going to take that serious?

00:19:11.480 Yeah.

00:19:12.180 If I saw him in an alley, I would take it seriously.

00:19:15.140 You know what I mean?

00:19:16.040 And that's just because if I saw him in an alley, I would be somewhat threatened.

00:19:19.540 But how many men have you met in alleys?

00:19:21.080 A lot.

00:19:21.560 But it's usually a text first, you know?

00:19:25.460 So just from out of nowhere, if I just saw those dreadlocks, it looks like a tarantula.

00:19:30.000 Dude, I think those locks don't have that much dread in them.

00:19:33.440 I think this is the toughest this guy looks.

00:19:35.080 Is this the toughest he looks?

00:19:36.000 It does kind of look like white girl dreadlocks.

00:19:37.300 It does.

00:19:37.740 It looks like, yeah.

00:19:38.760 To me, this is what that picture, the photographer was like, okay, now scrunch your face and look

00:19:43.020 tough.

00:19:43.200 And that's what happened.

00:19:44.280 I've seen tougher black women at a bus stop in Baltimore.

00:19:46.580 That's what I'm saying.

00:19:47.380 Yeah.

00:19:47.680 Yeah.

00:19:47.820 Absolutely.

00:19:48.300 That's the next fight.

00:19:49.240 You just fight black women at a bus stop in Baltimore.

00:19:51.700 Dude, I saw this lady one time.

00:19:53.560 Sponsored by Popeye's new chicken sandwich.

00:19:56.960 I saw this lady drinking a whole six pack of baby formula at a bus stop in Baltimore.

00:20:01.740 No.

00:20:02.520 Yeah.

00:20:03.560 There's got to be some sort of nutritional benefits that we don't know about.

00:20:06.420 But where's the baby dog?

00:20:08.260 I don't know, man.

00:20:09.260 That's crazy.

00:20:09.880 But by the way, that makes me think, how good is formula?

00:20:11.900 That's what I'm saying.

00:20:12.500 That's the other thing.

00:20:13.220 Is that just nice?

00:20:13.940 Is that like Nestle quick?

00:20:15.060 Yeah.

00:20:15.340 Yeah.

00:20:15.780 It's potential in the formula.

00:20:17.060 So that's the guy right there.

00:20:18.780 KS1, man.

00:20:20.100 And so do you feel like he's going to be training as hard as you?

00:20:23.360 Do you feel like he's taking it as serious?

00:20:24.860 Oh, yeah.

00:20:25.460 You do.

00:20:25.820 Oh, yeah.

00:20:26.140 This is a huge thing.

00:20:27.660 Man, I'm not going to lie.

00:20:28.640 Man's a dog.

00:20:29.600 Man's a dog.

00:20:30.220 I'll give it to him.

00:20:30.720 Okay.

00:20:30.960 Yeah, man's got heart.

00:20:31.740 He works hard.

00:20:33.080 It's sick.

00:20:33.720 It's sick.

00:20:34.000 Fuck, I want to fight somebody now.

00:20:35.180 Do you though?

00:20:35.800 Because this shit is rigorous, man.

00:20:38.160 And it's violent.

00:20:39.100 Yeah.

00:20:39.220 You know how many times you get hit in the head before you realize, oh, shit, this is

00:20:45.100 going to have some long-term repercussions.

00:20:46.800 That's a good point.

00:20:47.340 So you're saying you even noticed that just from that fight?

00:20:49.780 I spell two sometimes.

00:20:51.580 Yeah.

00:20:51.680 Like, oh, U2?

00:20:52.980 I spell it sometimes.

00:20:53.900 T-O-O-O?

00:20:54.500 T-W-O.

00:20:55.720 How did you spell it before you got hit?

00:20:57.380 Correctly.

00:20:57.820 T-O-O.

00:20:58.360 Okay.

00:20:58.720 U2.

00:20:59.660 Right.

00:21:00.380 U2.

00:21:01.180 Two people.

00:21:01.780 Yeah.

00:21:01.800 Like, I notice that.

00:21:02.840 My text sometimes, I misspell the word, and I'm like, fuck, it's got to be boxing.

00:21:07.600 Damn.

00:21:08.000 I'm 24, bro.

00:21:09.160 I'm going to come back here in six years.

00:21:11.280 Yeah.

00:21:12.040 You're going to be in a wheelchair.

00:21:13.200 Do you be wheelchair racing?

00:21:14.920 It's called punch drunk.

00:21:16.320 I'll be punch drunk.

00:21:17.500 Yeah.

00:21:18.180 I don't want to be in a wheelchair.

00:21:19.320 And they do have that, man.

00:21:20.260 Yeah, sometimes you see some of these guys, and they're not all there a little bit.

00:21:25.640 Of course.

00:21:26.920 So you're saying you really noticed that just from that bout?

00:21:31.980 I don't know what else it could be from, man.

00:21:33.760 I was in the spelling bee.

00:21:35.480 Like, why am I misspelling simple words?

00:21:37.420 How far did you get in the spelling bee?

00:21:38.600 I was limited the first round.

00:21:40.160 Okay.

00:21:40.580 Hold on.

00:21:41.040 Hold on.

00:21:41.660 So technically, we were all in the spelling bee.

00:21:43.560 We had to do it.

00:21:45.960 You know what word I misspelled?

00:21:47.320 It was kettle.

00:21:48.480 Give it a shot.

00:21:49.240 K-E-T-T-L-E.

00:21:52.640 Fuck you, bro.

00:21:53.540 Yeah.

00:21:54.600 I say E-L.

00:21:56.820 Oh, that's crazy.

00:21:57.460 Well, there was this kid in my grade.

00:21:59.900 I would still rather have your life, but I did spell kettle.

00:22:02.640 You know what I mean?

00:22:03.380 I'd still rather leave as you.

00:22:04.900 If that means anything.

00:22:06.200 Shout out to this girl, bro, named Big Helena, dude.

00:22:09.020 We had this girl, fifth grade spelling bee.

00:22:10.420 I lost to her girl named Big Helena, who honestly, I'm not joking, Tim.

00:22:13.640 I think you're handsome, but she looked just like you, bro.

00:22:16.040 First of all.

00:22:16.680 She was pregnant.

00:22:17.600 Good for her.

00:22:18.360 Whoa.

00:22:18.920 In fifth grade?

00:22:19.920 No, no.

00:22:20.560 At 10?

00:22:21.100 100% pregnant.

00:22:22.080 Dude, you grew up in the best place.

00:22:23.460 They checked as much as possible.

00:22:24.580 100% pregnant.

00:22:25.420 Wow.

00:22:25.840 And I lost on the word inconvenience, and she won the fucking spelling bee.

00:22:29.840 Yeah, because she knows all about an inconvenience.

00:22:32.160 And she knows all about that.

00:22:33.980 And quit school the year after.

00:22:35.280 Yeah, when you give birth to your uncle's baby in sixth grade in Covington, wherever, Louisiana,

00:22:40.580 it's an inconvenience.

00:22:42.080 I mean, yeah, she definitely, so she had insider trading, I think, when it came to it.

00:22:45.140 Yeah.

00:22:45.460 Yeah, that's not fair.

00:22:46.260 But that's crazy, though, that she beat me.

00:22:47.760 I remember losing, and this shit hurt me a little bit, but I was a good speller, too,

00:22:51.240 man.

00:22:51.520 I was a good speller.

00:22:52.320 Yeah, you said you like words on our podcast.

00:22:54.140 Yeah, yeah.

00:22:54.460 You see, you love words.

00:22:55.260 Yeah.

00:22:55.540 How often do you find yourself just reading the good old dictionary?

00:22:58.060 I got, actually, a really cool rhyming dictionary.

00:23:00.160 A friend of mine gave me, he died, but he gave it to me.

00:23:02.900 Like a dictionary that one word will rhyme with the other word?

00:23:05.880 Yeah, it's like every word that'll rhyme like that, you know.

00:23:08.620 But it was written about maybe 20 years ago, so they don't have a lot of new words in there.

00:23:12.560 But you're not doing hip-hop.

00:23:13.840 Nuh-uh, it's not for hip-hop.

00:23:14.700 Just making your brain think where you could connect stuff that you might not know.

00:23:18.600 That's interesting, yeah.

00:23:20.580 So is there something different you'll do for this second fight?

00:23:23.140 I'm really curious about this, because it's...

00:23:25.220 Yeah.

00:23:25.400 I just can't imagine getting to a beef space in comedy.

00:23:32.600 I would love to see it, though, where it's like...

00:23:34.720 Are there beefs?

00:23:35.340 Are there real...

00:23:35.780 I know there are beefs behind the scenes, but do we have...

00:23:38.100 Are there like public beefs that ever get to the level of...

00:23:40.460 I think Maniscalco and Andrew Dice Clay.

00:23:42.460 Yeah, that was getting wild.

00:23:43.880 Yeah, Dice was talking.

00:23:44.760 Oh, that'd be cool.

00:23:45.420 Yeah.

00:23:45.860 That'd be cool.

00:23:46.320 It'd be great to see that fight.

00:23:47.700 I'm trying to think.

00:23:48.460 I think more celebrities should fight.

00:23:50.680 Yeah.

00:23:51.020 Like, how cool is that?

00:23:51.800 But I think it's all starting to merge, man.

00:23:55.040 It's all starting to come together.

00:23:56.860 Like, you know, it's like reality stars are presidents.

00:24:01.780 Are presidents.

00:24:02.600 Yeah.

00:24:02.960 Reality stars are the number one pop star in America, in the world.

00:24:06.560 Yeah.

00:24:07.080 She was on...

00:24:08.300 Love and Hip Hop.

00:24:09.080 Love and Hip Hop.

00:24:09.620 And no disrespect to her at all, but I'm just saying it's like...

00:24:12.280 It's all...

00:24:12.980 It's all merging.

00:24:13.680 Merging into that one very somewhat scary thing.

00:24:16.540 Yeah.

00:24:17.100 So it's like, you could be fighting Vladimir Putin in four years.

00:24:21.380 I heard that man's a dog, dude.

00:24:24.460 Oh, yeah.

00:24:24.820 Yo, you know, he rides bears.

00:24:27.300 He does cold plunges.

00:24:28.500 He does a lot of cold plunges.

00:24:29.240 Dude, he's the biggest guy on YouTube in Russia.

00:24:31.640 Yeah.

00:24:31.920 Vladimir Putin.

00:24:32.760 Number one.

00:24:33.400 That's unbelievable.

00:24:34.060 Number one YouTube guy.

00:24:35.100 So, yeah.

00:24:35.520 So if it makes sense that you guys went at it.

00:24:37.340 Yeah.

00:24:38.220 Who knows?

00:24:38.920 You know who I want to fight?

00:24:39.300 Maybe you should just fight the top YouTube star in every country.

00:24:42.320 Ooh.

00:24:42.540 Like, you go to Pakistan, whoever it is, you fuck them up.

00:24:45.660 Just whoop their ass.

00:24:46.300 Yusuf.

00:24:46.500 That get used to, too.

00:24:47.760 It's probably some chick or whatever.

00:24:49.360 Who cares?

00:24:50.140 Smack her.

00:24:50.840 Move on.

00:24:51.580 Fight the next person.

00:24:52.640 I want to fight McGregor, dude.

00:24:54.520 Do you?

00:24:54.800 Really?

00:24:55.420 I want to get my face fucked by McGregor.

00:24:57.440 You know what I mean?

00:24:57.800 He would.

00:24:58.120 I bet in two years you could beat him.

00:25:00.680 He's only getting older and his whiskey's only getting shittier.

00:25:03.280 Yeah.

00:25:03.580 And I'm young and spry.

00:25:04.520 And he also, I think, it seemed like he might be on a little bit of that dust.

00:25:07.740 You feel me?

00:25:08.660 Yeah.

00:25:08.820 That's why he's punching old men.

00:25:09.980 You see that?

00:25:10.600 Yeah.

00:25:10.920 Yeah.

00:25:12.540 Everybody wants to fucking hit an old man, bro.

00:25:14.100 Everybody wants to hit an elderly person.

00:25:16.020 Yeah.

00:25:16.280 I've always said that.

00:25:17.340 That's an Irish hello, dude.

00:25:18.700 Walking into a pub, punching a senior citizen.

00:25:21.260 Because they're wise because they think they're not going to get hit.

00:25:23.500 Elderly people are always popping off, saying shit because you can't hit them.

00:25:27.680 Taking their teeth out and setting them on the counter, bro.

00:25:29.940 They know what they're doing.

00:25:31.160 If that ain't a sign of disrespect, I'm going to take part of my body off and set it in front of you.

00:25:34.700 Put it on the table while you're having a sandwich.

00:25:36.620 That's a wrap.

00:25:37.280 It's disgusting.

00:25:37.980 They're asking for it.

00:25:38.980 Yeah.

00:25:39.360 Yeah.

00:25:39.720 I just fear their egos are maybe too big.

00:25:41.900 Their egos are like what it was at 20.

00:25:45.260 Yeah.

00:25:45.520 Right.

00:25:45.820 And then they never escaped it.

00:25:47.120 And then their body doesn't move as fast.

00:25:48.660 Right.

00:25:48.960 Next thing you know, you're getting hit in the head by an MMA train.

00:25:52.040 Absolutely.

00:25:52.440 That's it.

00:25:52.820 Yeah.

00:25:53.140 You're just getting attacked.

00:25:54.760 But yeah, I wonder if in a couple of years you'll have like, if it's all just starting

00:25:59.540 to merge together, like, yeah, you'll be fighting whoever.

00:26:02.180 I love the idea of having you two stars from around the globe fight each other.

00:26:05.940 I think so, too.

00:26:06.660 Like a death match.

00:26:07.560 Yeah.

00:26:07.840 Well, dude, if Trump and Biden are the nominee, like obviously Trump is, but if Biden's the

00:26:11.900 nominee, they have talked so much shit about fighting each other.

00:26:16.180 And they're going to be on.

00:26:17.000 Oh, I did see that.

00:26:17.860 Yeah.

00:26:18.260 So you wonder, they're going to be standing at podiums debating, could this be the first

00:26:24.460 fucking presidential throwdown?

00:26:27.380 Did y'all see, did y'all see the Bernie Sanders and Joe Rogan?

00:26:32.180 Did you guys see that?

00:26:32.920 I did.

00:26:33.400 I did.

00:26:33.840 I did.

00:26:34.120 Yeah.

00:26:34.540 Dude, how crazy.

00:26:35.360 It was like the greatest.

00:26:36.640 I mean, it's just like you learn so much about Bernie in a heartbeat.

00:26:39.840 Yeah.

00:26:40.700 I think it changed.

00:26:41.660 I think it really changed the whole landscape of what podcasts can be now.

00:26:45.480 Yeah.

00:26:45.660 That one interview for me, I was like, holy shit.

00:26:48.180 Joe does that a lot, though.

00:26:49.300 Yeah.

00:26:49.780 But I just never, I don't know, for some reason, that one really landed for me.

00:26:54.180 Yeah.

00:26:54.480 I was like, what?

00:26:55.860 Well, yeah, because Bernie's a guy that you got to listen to for a while.

00:26:59.060 Right.

00:26:59.520 Yeah.

00:27:00.020 And everybody usually is.

00:27:01.960 Right.

00:27:02.320 Unless they're just like some flapjack that's out there just, you know.

00:27:06.100 Slinging dope little one-liners.

00:27:07.760 Yeah.

00:27:08.080 His Tulsi interview was good, too.

00:27:10.200 Who, Tulsi Gabbard?

00:27:11.300 Yeah, Tulsi Gabbard.

00:27:12.040 Tulsi Gabbard?

00:27:12.580 Tulsi Gabbard came on.

00:27:13.960 Tulsi Gabbard from Hawaii.

00:27:15.940 She was good.

00:27:16.440 You didn't like it?

00:27:17.040 Not for you?

00:27:17.580 Dude, look, man.

00:27:18.700 She's from Hawaii, so I don't think she should be the president.

00:27:20.720 Yeah.

00:27:21.120 I say, look, man.

00:27:22.020 Nobody's, well, we're not.

00:27:22.860 Why not?

00:27:23.660 Because Hawaii's a barbecue pit, and we're not going to elect somebody who knows nothing

00:27:27.380 about the world.

00:27:27.860 Wait, but hold up, hold up.

00:27:28.680 She's sitting on the beach.

00:27:29.760 The Rock is from Hawaii, and he talked about being the president.

00:27:32.200 That's true.

00:27:33.140 But I don't think, if you're living in Hawaii, you're escaping.

00:27:37.280 You don't know what to do with Detroit.

00:27:38.960 Yeah.

00:27:39.200 You're living in Hawaii.

00:27:40.020 You're watching surfers all day.

00:27:41.800 Yeah, that's true.

00:27:42.560 Yeah, you don't know what the hell's going on in Chicago.

00:27:45.340 You don't have a clean look.

00:27:46.140 Let's get a question coming in right now from someone.

00:27:48.820 Let's get this hitter.

00:27:49.880 It's Kyrie from Rhode Island, and my question is for Theo, and it's after having both Chris

00:27:54.000 Delia and Logan Paul on the pod.

00:27:55.840 I know there's some beef between the two.

00:27:57.460 Who do you think takes it in a fist fight?

00:27:59.160 Gang, gang.

00:28:00.060 Do I think there's beef?

00:28:01.680 I think there's probably, you know, soy chorizo.

00:28:07.500 No, I think you would beat him.

00:28:11.260 I think if it's fist fighting, I think that Logan would win.

00:28:14.340 I think if it's tickling somebody from far away with their feet, then Chris would win.

00:28:18.740 Yeah.

00:28:19.260 He's lengthy.

00:28:20.500 Both worthwhile things.

00:28:21.880 Bro, he can literally, no joke, from right here, fucking put his foot out, bro.

00:28:25.780 No, no.

00:28:26.340 Yeah, and fucking-

00:28:27.260 Wait, but same, dude.

00:28:28.820 Yeah, I wouldn't give it to Chris.

00:28:30.060 Hold on, dude.

00:28:30.640 I wouldn't give it to Chris right away.

00:28:32.000 Bro, no endangered species on the table, bro.

00:28:34.400 Put that hitter down, dog.

00:28:35.600 No, no, it's-

00:28:36.480 A grizzly bear was killed to make those two shoes.

00:28:40.520 Two bears, a mother and a father.

00:28:42.900 Him and Jake strangled them both to death, and then made those shoes.

00:28:46.520 Don't come after me.

00:28:47.620 Go after Gucci.

00:28:48.560 Right.

00:28:48.920 Go after Gucci.

00:28:49.740 Gucci's fault.

00:28:50.400 It's unbelievable, the animals that they must have.

00:28:51.840 Are you and Chris cool now?

00:28:53.800 Yeah, we are.

00:28:54.520 Yeah, we are.

00:28:55.060 Yeah.

00:28:55.420 Yeah.

00:28:56.340 I mean, that whole period of my life was just like, just pure fuckery.

00:29:01.000 Like, I've watched some footage of myself, like, at that time when I-

00:29:04.840 Do you remember the tweet?

00:29:05.880 Yeah.

00:29:05.980 When I tweeted at Chris, and I was like, I was like, now I know why your comedy career

00:29:10.920 is dying, and he said, like, at least when my career dies, you can film it.

00:29:14.200 I'll put it on YouTube, like, grand slam, bro.

00:29:17.660 Fuck me up.

00:29:18.020 He's good at that, though.

00:29:18.740 He's great at that.

00:29:19.560 He's great at that.

00:29:20.900 He's really the greatest dad.

00:29:21.940 I walked into it.

00:29:22.400 What am I- I'm a moron.

00:29:23.880 Yeah.

00:29:24.380 But that whole life, like, man, I hated myself.

00:29:26.840 Yeah.

00:29:26.940 Did you, though?

00:29:29.040 I hated myself.

00:29:30.480 Wow.

00:29:31.000 I hated myself that, like, looking back now.

00:29:34.380 Looking back now.

00:29:35.420 Yeah.

00:29:35.440 At the time, I was like, this is dope.

00:29:37.100 Yeah.

00:29:37.480 I'm a YouTube star.

00:29:38.680 Yeah.

00:29:39.000 And now I'm just like, fuck.

00:29:40.060 You were just acting out.

00:29:41.580 I don't- yeah, I think so.

00:29:42.620 I think I was just lashing out.

00:29:43.500 I was pissed that everyone hated me.

00:29:44.880 I was pissed that everyone was pissed at me.

00:29:46.440 Yeah, you were doing the crazy pranks.

00:29:47.660 Yeah.

00:29:48.140 Have you ever done one of those where you regretted it?

00:29:49.860 Like, a crazy prank?

00:29:51.180 Well, obviously the one that we all know about.

00:29:53.060 The one in the forest.

00:29:54.080 Yeah, right.

00:29:54.820 That one.

00:29:55.520 Which I didn't even think was offensive.

00:29:56.700 I was like, whatever.

00:29:57.400 I didn't either.

00:29:58.040 You don't strike me as a person who found it offensive.

00:30:00.860 No.

00:30:01.960 I mean, me and my friends played with dead people, alive people, people who were in the

00:30:05.580 middle.

00:30:05.780 What are you saying?

00:30:06.060 But we just didn't.

00:30:06.640 What are you saying?

00:30:07.300 We couldn't get, you know?

00:30:08.080 Why did you-

00:30:08.500 We just couldn't get any, we couldn't monetize it.

00:30:10.920 Because we were from the generation that can't monetize the sociopathy.

00:30:16.100 But I wish we-

00:30:17.400 No, but that wasn't-

00:30:18.540 But have you ever done something where you're like, oh, I shouldn't-

00:30:21.100 Yeah, man.

00:30:22.100 I poured gasoline on my brother.

00:30:24.020 I tried to pour gasoline on my brother.

00:30:25.860 He ran away and I slipped in it and almost broke my shoulder.

00:30:28.380 Yeah, see that?

00:30:28.820 Dude, my boy Todd one time at Halloween drank a fucking half gallon of gasoline, dude.

00:30:33.720 And no joke, we never fucking saw him again.

00:30:36.020 Yeah.

00:30:36.200 And guess what?

00:30:37.700 Never have seen him.

00:30:38.340 He's probably fine.

00:30:39.520 Oh, I think he's fine, but I think he's never going to be fully fine.

00:30:42.540 Right.

00:30:42.820 You know?

00:30:43.380 Interesting.

00:30:44.100 Like, I think he can get a job, but I don't think he can get, like, promoted.

00:30:49.960 Yeah.

00:30:50.560 No, he's not going to get to the manager of Perkins.

00:30:52.980 Let's say this, dude.

00:30:53.840 He's going to be.

00:30:54.580 He ain't going out on Halloween anymore, I don't think.

00:30:58.660 He's staying at home and passing out candy, bro.

00:31:00.920 So, dude, was he dared to do it or was he one of those kids who was like-

00:31:03.240 We've been doing some mushrooms, dude, and we fucking hit the gas station.

00:31:06.460 If you're on mushrooms and there's nowhere to go, do you go to a gas station, bro?

00:31:10.120 And that place is fucking, like-

00:31:11.560 That seems like the least appealing place to be on mushrooms.

00:31:14.760 And they had a bunch of roaches, a whole fucking swarm of roaches that just hit our area.

00:31:18.400 And so there was, like, probably 600 roaches at this gas station.

00:31:22.620 I love how in your area you take mushrooms, but you realize life is worse.

00:31:26.080 Like, you don't have that enlightened experience.

00:31:28.620 You're like, let's go to the gas station where we're all going to work in three years.

00:31:32.780 It's like, what a nightmare.

00:31:34.260 Hey, let's go to the beach and realize we're all one consciousness.

00:31:36.860 No, let's go to the mobile and see where exactly we're headed.

00:31:40.700 Let's see how many Tootsie Rolls we can put in our mouths.

00:31:43.640 What a nightmare.

00:31:44.540 It was amazing, man.

00:31:45.600 It was amazing.

00:31:46.760 But he didn't seem like the kind of guy was going to do super great overall anyway.

00:31:50.680 Yeah, so in this podcast so far, you've mentioned three friends that have kind of just disappeared.

00:31:56.680 Why is that a thing in Louisiana?

00:31:58.140 Like, where are your friends going?

00:31:59.160 It's an easy place.

00:31:59.920 I mean, it's a place there's a lot of, you know-

00:32:01.360 Not Goldman Sachs.

00:32:02.260 That's not where they're going.

00:32:03.280 A lot of money.

00:32:04.840 Brother, going into the ether, man.

00:32:06.460 They're part of the mystery, you know?

00:32:07.680 Ah, falling off the face of the earth.

00:32:08.920 It's a flat earth.

00:32:09.880 It is a place that has just a lot of mystery.

00:32:11.840 They all become Netflix documentaries.

00:32:13.900 Yeah.

00:32:14.660 Dude, what do you think?

00:32:15.740 What did you ask him a second ago?

00:32:16.980 There was something I wanted to talk more about that.

00:32:18.580 It was a good question.

00:32:19.360 I forgot.

00:32:19.640 I was talking about Chris D'Elia beef.

00:32:21.860 Oh, yeah.

00:32:22.380 Chris D'Elia beef.

00:32:23.360 Do you-

00:32:24.320 Yeah.

00:32:25.420 But Chris D'Elia, I think, is more of an online beef person than he is a real human, in-life

00:32:30.120 beef person.

00:32:30.400 He's just a nice guy.

00:32:31.380 Sweet guy, yeah.

00:32:32.240 I feel like I'd like to believe that most people are.

00:32:35.120 I mean, I don't know how many people I got real beef with other than that one kid.

00:32:40.880 Right.

00:32:41.420 You know?

00:32:42.000 The British guy.

00:32:42.700 Yeah, the British guy.

00:32:43.520 Yeah, I mean-

00:32:44.800 Where does that come from, that beef?

00:32:46.080 Is that just talking shit?

00:32:46.960 You guys are both online?

00:32:47.900 Yeah, so it started off cool.

00:32:49.440 And then during the press conferences and shit, it just, he crossed the line, I crossed

00:32:53.400 the line, and it just got super toxic and unhealthy.

00:32:55.620 And now here we are.

00:32:56.300 We want to fucking rip each other's heads off.

00:32:58.000 It's dope.

00:32:58.460 It's great.

00:32:58.900 And some of it's kind of healthy, man.

00:33:00.100 You know?

00:33:00.520 Yeah.

00:33:00.720 One of my friends is fighting this weekend in the UFC, Poirier, against Khabib, the eagle.

00:33:07.060 Oh, shit.

00:33:07.820 That's a fight, dude.

00:33:08.760 Your boy might get rocked, dude.

00:33:10.680 Yeah, but he's a diamond, bro.

00:33:12.460 So, you know.

00:33:14.240 He already is, I think, legally a rock.

00:33:18.240 But, yeah.

00:33:20.260 I mean, anybody could win.

00:33:21.340 You know?

00:33:21.480 They got to fight, right?

00:33:22.760 I mean, Khabib is a rare specimen.

00:33:25.180 No, he's not even a human.

00:33:26.500 It's really crazy watching him.

00:33:27.720 It's almost like watching one of those things that they put into a scary movie that just

00:33:30.680 goes up the wall.

00:33:31.240 That's him, dude.

00:33:31.580 Yeah.

00:33:32.820 And his arms go behind like this.

00:33:35.020 It's very bad.

00:33:35.800 And then he crawls backwards.

00:33:36.120 Bro, he can put, bro, he fucking can put both of it.

00:33:38.560 He can take his arms off, dude.

00:33:40.100 Yeah.

00:33:40.460 And swallow him and fucking arm wrestle in his stomach.

00:33:42.620 Yeah.

00:33:42.880 He's a terrifying dude.

00:33:44.120 He's, but anyway, but yeah, you see these guys like, yeah, I want to beat the fuck out

00:33:48.040 of that guy.

00:33:48.740 And it's like, it's playful, but it's also like, this is what we're doing now.

00:33:52.980 Do you feel like this is, so this is something you're doing now.

00:33:56.540 As far as like fighting people, I think so, man.

00:33:59.100 I mean, yeah.

00:34:00.740 Are you going to, do you think you're going to continue this?

00:34:02.800 I think so.

00:34:03.320 Wow.

00:34:03.760 I think it's just, do you think you become a boxer?

00:34:06.300 Like a legit?

00:34:06.680 Nah, I'm going to do MMA.

00:34:08.200 I wrestled in high school and I was good.

00:34:09.780 I placed a fifth in Ohio.

00:34:11.660 So like, you know.

00:34:13.020 So that, a lot of that is there.

00:34:14.300 Yeah.

00:34:14.700 Right.

00:34:15.000 Yeah.

00:34:15.580 Boxing is a little limiting for me.

00:34:17.480 Are any of the other YouTube guys or social media guys doing stuff like this?

00:34:21.520 No, and I'll tell you why.

00:34:22.600 Well, they're bitches.

00:34:23.340 No, nope.

00:34:24.220 They're a hundred times smarter than me.

00:34:25.720 Yo, think about it.

00:34:27.060 I mean, fuck.

00:34:28.540 Combat sports are dangerous.

00:34:30.280 They are.

00:34:30.700 This is not healthy, getting hit in the head over and over again.

00:34:33.660 Right.

00:34:34.120 What am I some kind of moron?

00:34:35.440 The answer is yes.

00:34:36.380 Like, I'd like to believe that everyone else is, it's a combination of they're smarter and

00:34:40.740 it's not worth it and they probably don't want to work that hard because it is hard

00:34:44.200 work.

00:34:44.640 Right.

00:34:44.800 Right.

00:34:44.840 Right.

00:34:45.300 You know, I got like something's, some screws are missing.

00:34:48.440 It's a legit sport.

00:34:49.520 It's not just beating somebody up.

00:34:50.460 It's a legit sport.

00:34:51.380 Yeah.

00:34:51.540 We have to train.

00:34:52.380 Yeah.

00:34:52.400 And you're going to lose, like, do you feel like you're going to kind of create a new fan

00:34:57.260 base with some of this too?

00:34:58.220 Oh, for sure.

00:34:58.700 Oh, for sure.

00:34:59.180 That's why.

00:34:59.400 That stuff will change.

00:35:00.080 Yeah.

00:35:00.320 That's why I do.

00:35:00.880 I noticed in the last fight, the last fight after we did it, I was instantly elevated

00:35:07.200 from YouTube star to like whatever the level right below like traditional celebrity and

00:35:14.600 YouTube star.

00:35:15.280 Like whatever's in between that.

00:35:16.460 Right.

00:35:16.640 It's just like.

00:35:17.100 You're a bold face name.

00:35:18.320 People know who you are.

00:35:18.860 Yeah.

00:35:19.380 Yeah.

00:35:19.640 Yeah.

00:35:19.780 Yeah.

00:35:19.800 Because, you know, you walk in somewhere, it's not like, oh, that's the guy that makes

00:35:22.380 YouTube videos.

00:35:22.880 Like, oh shit, this motherfucker knows how to fight.

00:35:24.760 Right.

00:35:24.880 And it's a different level of respect.

00:35:27.060 Yeah.

00:35:27.200 And the fight game is huge.

00:35:28.140 I love fighting.

00:35:28.580 I've been watching UFC forever.

00:35:30.440 It's huge and it's growing.

00:35:31.500 Yeah.

00:35:31.640 I mean, it's huge and it's growing.

00:35:32.920 And it's like, what's going to be next?

00:35:34.280 Like, and this could be it, you know, seeing people actually get to, you know, talk shit,

00:35:39.860 but also back it up if they want to in the ring.

00:35:42.060 Maybe.

00:35:42.640 Yeah.

00:35:42.780 Because the online shit talking is, there's never really been a place for it to culminate.

00:35:46.720 Yeah.

00:35:46.840 Nobody goes and organizes a fight between the girl in Huffington Post with blue hair and

00:35:52.280 James Chappelle.

00:35:53.280 They should be fighting each other in the ring.

00:35:55.000 Yeah.

00:35:55.240 That's big business.

00:35:55.840 Someone's got to do it.

00:35:56.840 100%.

00:35:57.200 When you say like looking back on yourself, like, and you can watch like videos when you're

00:36:01.300 younger, it's kind of crazy that most people don't have that experience though.

00:36:05.780 It's like, you're like one of the few people that can have that experience because so much

00:36:09.720 of you is documented.

00:36:11.500 So then it's like.

00:36:12.380 So much of who I was pretending to be at the time.

00:36:15.760 Yeah.

00:36:15.920 But we all were.

00:36:16.660 It's like, that's just a phase a lot of us go through in life, man.

00:36:19.280 But did you, did you, did you like, when you look back at footage from like five years

00:36:22.780 ago, do you, do you feel like you were a lesser version of yourself or?

00:36:27.140 Oh yeah.

00:36:27.460 And I loved it, dude.

00:36:28.480 Okay.

00:36:29.380 I loved being a lesser version of myself.

00:36:30.720 I've had to be like more, you know, you got to get, do stuff.

00:36:33.900 You got to call Nick, you know, you got to do all kinds of stuff now.

00:36:36.800 It's more responsibility.

00:36:38.060 I feel you.

00:36:38.520 So I liked the lesser version when I didn't have to do that much.

00:36:41.640 Yeah.

00:36:43.440 But I, but that's also me a little bit older.

00:36:45.940 Like if I'm looking back on my teen years and stuff, dude, I, who the fuck knows what

00:36:52.060 would be on there, bro?

00:36:53.060 Yeah.

00:36:53.460 Crazy shit.

00:36:54.180 Crazy shit.

00:36:54.980 Yeah, bro.

00:36:55.740 Anything involving fire?

00:36:57.720 Uh, that you can legally discuss.

00:37:01.560 Dude, we used to do this thing, vajip, and where girls would put it at LSD in their vagina,

00:37:06.080 dude.

00:37:06.760 Yeah.

00:37:07.000 And.

00:37:07.600 How'd that work out?

00:37:08.200 This was a fun school to go to.

00:37:09.700 See what would happen to us.

00:37:10.340 This was a fun high school.

00:37:11.800 This high school, people are pregnant at fifth grade.

00:37:14.600 That's huge, bro.

00:37:15.440 This is a real interesting crop of kids.

00:37:17.280 Whatever, dude.

00:37:17.980 You got no heart.

00:37:18.760 People are drinking gasoline, acid in the vagina.

00:37:22.340 You got no heart.

00:37:22.820 These are like problems I didn't even know could be problems.

00:37:25.780 I'm like, I didn't even know these things could happen.

00:37:27.500 This is Americana, bro.

00:37:28.780 Yeah.

00:37:29.060 We have a jip and it was an old school thing, but I think it's coming back.

00:37:31.520 Bring it back.

00:37:32.500 Bring it back.

00:37:33.580 Do you get fucked up faster?

00:37:35.620 Yeah.

00:37:35.880 Oh, I mean.

00:37:36.680 You get fucked up almost before you can even open your mouth and close it back.

00:37:40.260 Interesting.

00:37:40.920 That's quick.

00:37:41.780 That's way quick.

00:37:42.300 Think about that.

00:37:43.160 Yeah.

00:37:43.400 You put it in and then.

00:37:46.560 Wow.

00:37:47.020 That's quick, bro.

00:37:48.040 Vigipping.

00:37:48.500 Who named it vigip?

00:37:49.600 That's fast acting.

00:37:50.520 Vagina tripping.

00:37:51.320 Yeah.

00:37:51.580 A couple of these broads that went hard.

00:37:53.180 Let's go vigip.

00:37:54.180 And then what was that?

00:37:55.080 Fag boxing?

00:37:55.820 What do you call it?

00:37:56.320 Fag fighting?

00:37:57.240 It was, first of all, it was just some of your people who brought the business to town.

00:38:00.920 People got to make money.

00:38:01.880 I agree.

00:38:02.480 People got to make money.

00:38:03.160 If you're gay in Louisiana, in rural Louisiana, you're going to have to beat the shit out of

00:38:06.880 another gay guy.

00:38:08.080 You're not designing houses.

00:38:09.700 You're not an interior designer.

00:38:11.080 You're going to have to fight.

00:38:12.220 And you hope that some fans come in who are vigipin', some fag gags that are all vigipin',

00:38:17.480 who think it's great.

00:38:19.320 Bro, I fucking bet $100 on this dude Enrique one time.

00:38:23.900 He's a very small fucking guy.

00:38:26.780 I love that.

00:38:27.500 It's amazing.

00:38:28.400 Beautiful small guy.

00:38:29.480 Did Enrique lose or did he win?

00:38:31.520 He fucking lost, bro.

00:38:32.500 But it was all kind of set up and I didn't realize it.

00:38:34.840 I was at the age where it was all a show.

00:38:36.340 I didn't realize that.

00:38:36.920 Oh, this was like professional wrestling.

00:38:38.260 This was all choreographed.

00:38:39.340 Yes, it was all choreographed.

00:38:40.200 It's just poor gay dudes who couldn't become dancers, who had to just beat the shit out

00:38:44.160 of each other in Louisiana.

00:38:46.060 Wow.

00:38:46.780 It was kind of like, I mean, it was like, you could probably promote it one day.

00:38:51.700 Yeah.

00:38:52.140 There should be a movie about that.

00:38:53.600 I want to see the movie.

00:38:54.460 I want to see the movie about that.

00:38:56.240 Yeah, bro.

00:38:56.860 A gay traveling circuit.

00:38:58.880 Bro, they had these two dudes.

00:39:00.260 You could get, you should be able to wrestle with a bear at a bar.

00:39:03.300 You used to be able to do that everywhere.

00:39:05.080 Where?

00:39:05.420 That had bears.

00:39:07.160 Yeah, you can't do that now.

00:39:08.080 You can't do that now.

00:39:08.640 It's dangerous.

00:39:09.080 Yeah.

00:39:09.400 Yeah, but it was just like, people were more-

00:39:11.780 So you would go into a bar and wrestle a bear.

00:39:14.440 You got to give me-

00:39:15.060 You had to pay $10.

00:39:16.500 And then you could just wrestle a bear?

00:39:18.020 You could wrestle him for a little bit.

00:39:19.460 In New York City, there was a really rich guy in the late 1800s.

00:39:21.760 He kept a bear chained to a stake in his lawn because that was a way to show everyone

00:39:25.380 he was really rich.

00:39:26.420 I like that.

00:39:26.860 Because he had a bear.

00:39:27.540 That's gangster.

00:39:28.400 It is.

00:39:28.600 He had a big bear chained to a stake.

00:39:30.320 Wow.

00:39:30.840 The thing would hang out on the lawn and people would be like, that guy's no joke.

00:39:33.620 There's not a better way to flex, you think?

00:39:35.140 There's not a better way to flex than just having a bear like that?

00:39:38.200 Yeah, I'm trying to think of something else good.

00:39:39.360 I still think that's something you should consider.

00:39:41.360 You've done it all.

00:39:42.000 The bear in the lawn?

00:39:42.380 You have the nice car.

00:39:43.080 The house gives a shit.

00:39:43.880 I've wrestled the bear, too.

00:39:44.860 Get a bear.

00:39:45.360 Get a grizzly and just hang out.

00:39:46.620 A grizzly?

00:39:47.780 I have a mastiff.

00:39:49.060 Tibetan mastiff.

00:39:49.920 Those are great.

00:39:50.400 Do you have a Tibetan mastiff?

00:39:51.420 She's biting people, though.

00:39:52.880 Well, they're vicious animals.

00:39:53.940 I didn't know.

00:39:54.820 Yeah, I mean, they're vicious.

00:39:55.660 I think it's sexy when a dog bites somebody.

00:39:57.520 You think so?

00:39:57.780 I like to watch someone get bit, too.

00:39:59.440 A little bit.

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00:43:01.280 And now back to your program.

00:43:04.360 But yeah, it's just crazy that you can look back on your life.

00:43:06.500 Nobody else has that same thing where they have to look back.

00:43:08.620 Because then you're just more likely to judge yourself.

00:43:10.600 Dude, if 22-year-old me showed up right now, bro, what would I think, you know?

00:43:16.000 I'd be like, damn, dude, tighten up, dude, you know?

00:43:18.940 Really?

00:43:19.440 Yeah, I think so.

00:43:20.600 Yeah, what do you think?

00:43:21.320 You think you're too loose now?

00:43:23.080 I just don't know.

00:43:24.080 I just don't know what I would think, man.

00:43:26.200 I don't know what I would think.

00:43:27.160 Yeah.

00:43:27.460 What did you guys think about the Justin Bieber post?

00:43:31.720 Do you see his post about the-

00:43:33.320 Tom Cruise?

00:43:34.080 No, not Tom Cruise.

00:43:35.180 He wants to fight.

00:43:36.120 Well, he wanted to fight Tom Cruise.

00:43:37.200 Are you talking about the mental health one?

00:43:38.220 Well, yeah, but first let's talk about Tom Cruise.

00:43:40.040 Then that would be a good fight on that same card.

00:43:42.440 That would be a good fight.

00:43:43.800 Cruise, Bieber.

00:43:44.860 I think, I mean, not think.

00:43:46.260 I think Bieber would wipe the floor with him, if I'm being honest, man.

00:43:49.400 I mean-

00:43:49.960 I think so, too.

00:43:51.300 Tommy's just too old, dude.

00:43:52.660 Too old and too scientific.

00:43:53.500 But he got that old man's strength, though.

00:43:55.660 And science, bro, if you got Scientology, dude, you could do anything you want.

00:43:58.800 You could do magic, almost.

00:44:00.560 Yeah, I don't know about that.

00:44:01.440 Their whole thing's based on magic.

00:44:02.780 I gotta be honest.

00:44:03.200 I think the whole thing's based on blackmailing gay dudes.

00:44:05.820 I think that's what it's really based on.

00:44:07.640 Okay, yeah.

00:44:08.180 It's going, here's a picture of you kissing a dude.

00:44:10.340 What's that cost?

00:44:11.220 25 grand a month for the rest of your life.

00:44:13.340 You go, okay, cool.

00:44:14.840 Whatever.

00:44:15.260 I'm Batman, or whatever it is.

00:44:16.560 I think that's what it is.

00:44:17.480 I don't think it's magic.

00:44:19.080 I think it's cameras.

00:44:21.340 I feel like Logan gets nervous every time Tim brings up gay people, but he is gay, so

00:44:25.620 he's allowed to say all this.

00:44:26.420 Oh, yeah.

00:44:26.600 I'm allowed to say everything I want.

00:44:27.860 I can say the N-word.

00:44:28.960 I can say-

00:44:29.640 I'm kidding.

00:44:30.520 I can't say the N-word.

00:44:31.300 I can say, I'm joking.

00:44:33.200 I don't have that.

00:44:33.500 You can say, look at this, gay man.

00:44:34.560 Wait, hey, are you gay?

00:44:35.520 Yeah, yeah.

00:44:36.320 Oh, really?

00:44:36.720 So I can say, I can say gay.

00:44:38.540 Yeah, Logan's very nervous.

00:44:39.920 No, I mean, look, I've had some controversy.

00:44:42.040 What's new?

00:44:42.360 What'd you do?

00:44:43.280 Man, this-

00:44:44.180 Fuck those bitches.

00:44:45.660 I think so.

00:44:45.860 Don't worry about it.

00:44:46.860 Well, we are fucking them, and it's not going that well.

00:44:51.800 What did you say?

00:44:52.520 What did they say?

00:44:53.340 Because they always go to the-

00:44:54.340 They always find something homophobic, like a-

00:44:56.180 You didn't hear this?

00:44:57.760 I don't.

00:44:58.340 I didn't hear it.

00:44:59.300 Shit, man.

00:45:00.120 What happened?

00:45:01.020 He's like, I killed three gay guys.

00:45:02.440 He's like, I hate to bring it up.

00:45:03.600 He's like, I hate to bring it up right now.

00:45:05.040 In Ohio, me and Jake, it was funny to tie up three gay guys and light them on fire.

00:45:09.860 Sorry.

00:45:10.840 He's like, you didn't hear this?

00:45:11.960 It was a guy named Matthew Shepard, and it was the first viral video.

00:45:16.780 We tied him to a-

00:45:17.720 Anyway, no.

00:45:18.460 What did you say, fag?

00:45:19.900 No, no, dude.

00:45:22.040 I said we were going to hook up with dudes in March.

00:45:25.760 Male only March.

00:45:26.780 You got it?

00:45:27.300 Yeah.

00:45:27.800 And I used the verbiage.

00:45:29.520 I said we were going to go gay.

00:45:31.280 Right.

00:45:31.640 Okay, that's funny.

00:45:32.460 On our podcast, it's the verbiage I use.

00:45:35.780 And instead of saying, yo, we're going to hook up with dudes for March, it was a male-only

00:45:38.880 march.

00:45:39.160 It was a joke.

00:45:39.880 Of course.

00:45:40.200 We did Sober Vegan January, Fatal February, the joke was we're going to do male-only

00:45:45.000 marching.

00:45:45.480 Yeah.

00:45:46.040 It was just an out-of-touch joke.

00:45:48.760 People got mad.

00:45:49.600 Yeah, people got mad.

00:45:50.560 Online people did.

00:45:51.680 Online people.

00:45:52.240 Nobody in the real world cares.

00:45:53.720 And that's the truth.

00:45:54.600 That's the thing.

00:45:55.220 There's an online thing, and there's a real world thing.

00:45:57.240 Did it affect, you think, the long-term way that people are interacting with you?

00:46:01.180 Me?

00:46:01.720 Yeah.

00:46:02.100 Yeah.

00:46:02.420 No, it didn't affect me.

00:46:02.920 Nobody at 7-Eleven turned around to me and were like, you hear about that fucking male-only

00:46:06.680 march?

00:46:07.140 They're going to go gay?

00:46:07.900 That's ridiculous.

00:46:08.860 Yeah, nobody.

00:46:09.620 Nobody cares.

00:46:10.480 That's the crazy thing.

00:46:11.340 People are just trying to get their kids medicine.

00:46:13.420 Really?

00:46:14.080 That's really the real world.

00:46:15.300 I know we're all in LA.

00:46:16.280 Nobody cares.

00:46:17.160 People just want to give their kids medicine when they're sick.

00:46:19.840 That's literally what people are worried about.

00:46:21.760 Nobody cares.

00:46:22.220 Dude, I don't know if I'd go gay for a whole month, bro.

00:46:24.400 Dude, I'd do a week first.

00:46:25.720 You guys seem brave, I think.

00:46:26.800 A month is a lot.

00:46:27.900 Yeah.

00:46:28.240 It's heavy.

00:46:29.100 Would you do straight for a month, you think?

00:46:31.100 Yeah, absolutely.

00:46:31.540 I would do straight for a decent-sized starter house for the rest of my life.

00:46:37.640 Like, not even, like a mil two, little Mediterranean style on a busy corner.

00:46:43.460 Oh, Jesus.

00:46:43.920 Doesn't even have to be.

00:46:45.560 No backyard.

00:46:47.020 Partially rented out.

00:46:48.320 Yeah.

00:46:48.500 Oh, my God, bro.

00:46:49.460 I mean, listen.

00:46:50.700 You sound like an easy guest.

00:46:52.260 I would try it for months.

00:46:54.500 I mean, I've tried it before.

00:46:55.400 I tried it a bunch.

00:46:56.300 It didn't work.

00:46:56.980 Oh, really?

00:46:57.420 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:46:58.560 Because, you know, I remember one time I thought I was maybe gay for a little while, but I was

00:47:01.940 just really lonely, I think, and I'd just been masturbating too much.

00:47:05.200 Yeah.

00:47:06.160 You're attracted to yourself, essentially.

00:47:08.000 Is that what you're saying?

00:47:08.500 I don't know what was going on, dude, but it was just like, I don't know, dude.

00:47:13.060 Oh, I wasn't meeting any girls, and I was like, oh, fuck, man.

00:47:15.560 If I'm not meeting any girls, maybe I'm gay, and I just don't know what's going on, you

00:47:18.940 know?

00:47:19.460 Yeah, right.

00:47:20.060 No, no, never shut it off.

00:47:22.280 Like, who knows?

00:47:23.640 Oh, I'll be gay.

00:47:24.280 When I'm 70 or 80, dude, I don't fucking care.

00:47:26.280 Dude, I'll fuck anybody in here, bro.

00:47:27.780 Yeah, for sure.

00:47:28.420 I'll fuck any of you creeps, bro.

00:47:29.980 That's it.

00:47:30.340 That's it.

00:47:31.160 Let's all hope, you know?

00:47:32.560 That's all hope.

00:47:34.100 That's that Richard Dixon right there, bro, you know?

00:47:38.160 But yeah, who knows, dude?

00:47:39.720 I mean, who knows?

00:47:40.220 Who knows?

00:47:40.520 But yo, also, like, who cares?

00:47:41.960 I'll just say it.

00:47:42.760 Like, I've kissed dudes before.

00:47:43.980 Yeah.

00:47:44.100 I mean, it was an acting class, you know?

00:47:46.320 Right.

00:47:46.800 It was recreational.

00:47:48.180 Yeah.

00:47:48.420 But like, it was nothing against it.

00:47:50.220 Do you remember the guy's name or not?

00:47:51.700 Ugh.

00:47:52.520 Sean?

00:47:53.340 I feel like it was Tyler.

00:47:54.980 Oh, yeah.

00:47:55.900 That's crazy, bro.

00:47:56.740 Yo, you know, you know.

00:47:57.520 Where was it?

00:47:57.880 By the beach, dude?

00:47:58.760 I would never kiss a guy named Tyler Inland.

00:48:00.700 It was an acting class.

00:48:01.440 Are you talking about Tyler from AMAW, the big guy?

00:48:05.240 I know exactly who you're talking about.

00:48:06.540 Wait.

00:48:06.960 Who's Tyler?

00:48:07.200 He's a famous actor.

00:48:08.600 No, he's not.

00:48:09.340 Oh, he's not?

00:48:09.840 I know another Tyler that's like a-

00:48:10.920 What's Tyler in?

00:48:11.640 Is he in power?

00:48:12.080 Did you go there?

00:48:12.820 Yeah, I used to be in Tony's class for like two years.

00:48:14.800 So that's what I'm saying.

00:48:15.560 You do scenes.

00:48:16.320 Oh, yeah.

00:48:16.620 Sometimes you get handed a guy-on-guy scene and like, let's be honest, like I'm not a

00:48:20.100 fucking pussy, bro.

00:48:20.800 Relax.

00:48:21.280 I know you got excited when I said I died.

00:48:22.980 Oh, I'm going to kiss this fucking guy till his arms fall off.

00:48:25.200 When can I join the class?

00:48:26.640 Because I want to be-

00:48:27.600 I want to be in-

00:48:28.260 Your whole life is in the class.

00:48:28.860 I want to be in power.

00:48:30.180 You know?

00:48:30.820 Can I be in power?

00:48:33.040 Will we fuck if I'm in power?

00:48:34.600 How does it work?

00:48:35.560 Can I be a prison guard?

00:48:36.740 I don't even know what power's about.

00:48:37.920 It's about prison, right?

00:48:39.160 No?

00:48:39.540 All right.

00:48:39.840 Is Tyler just milling around these classes, waiting for the scene?

00:48:43.140 He did it to Gianni?

00:48:43.920 No, no.

00:48:44.300 He has a girlfriend too.

00:48:45.640 Yeah.

00:48:45.900 Yeah, no.

00:48:46.660 Everybody has a girlfriend.

00:48:47.620 In any acting or movie, like I've kissed dudes in movies I've been to.

00:48:53.200 Like, yo.

00:48:53.720 Dude, and the way it is work, the way Hollywood's going.

00:48:55.460 Oh, some dude kissed.

00:48:56.460 Some dude actually ejaculated on my arm when I was at-

00:49:00.200 What class was that?

00:49:01.120 No, it wasn't a class.

00:49:01.940 I was in a movie theater.

00:49:03.000 It's a very interesting class.

00:49:03.760 So what happened then?

00:49:05.120 His girlfriend gave him a handjob and I was too close to him.

00:49:07.960 You know?

00:49:08.420 Yo, Louisiana is the spot.

00:49:10.400 I was going to say-

00:49:11.220 That's the spot.

00:49:11.660 Was this in Louisiana too?

00:49:12.980 That's wild.

00:49:13.720 Yeah.

00:49:14.240 I mean, it was kind of by the interstate a little bit.

00:49:16.460 Yeah.

00:49:16.780 It was here by the interstate?

00:49:18.120 Yeah.

00:49:18.380 That's when the good stuff goes.

00:49:19.300 Yeah, you wild that out.

00:49:19.940 Dude, 200 yards off the fucking interstate and you're in a film, bro?

00:49:23.740 Do you remember the movie?

00:49:24.320 Could you name a better town?

00:49:25.280 Do you remember the movie?

00:49:26.040 Huh?

00:49:26.300 Yeah, I remember it.

00:49:26.940 It was called Punkin' Head.

00:49:27.760 It was a scary movie.

00:49:29.720 Those are the best movies to get handjobs in though.

00:49:31.640 Bro, I wasn't getting it, dude.

00:49:32.920 I was a fucking victim.

00:49:33.960 No, I know.

00:49:34.660 Oh, but the guy, he clearly knew something.

00:49:36.780 Oh, yeah, dude.

00:49:37.580 It was secondhand, bro.

00:49:39.180 Secondhand.

00:49:41.280 What do you do after you just got cummed on in the movie?

00:49:45.160 I didn't know what was going on, dude.

00:49:46.520 I thought I was gay for about two months, bro.

00:49:48.580 Yeah, interesting.

00:49:49.640 Because you have to at that age.

00:49:51.040 Somebody comes on you in a theater, bro.

00:49:52.540 It makes you think.

00:49:54.220 Well, it just makes you scared, I thought.

00:49:56.160 You're like, was I chosen?

00:49:57.300 Is this the way it happens?

00:49:58.840 Is this the way they recruit people?

00:49:59.920 Do I have a choice?

00:50:01.600 Can I even look at a woman now?

00:50:03.160 I have to explain to her what happened?

00:50:05.380 Oh, it was a tough fucking show.

00:50:06.840 That shit affected me, bro.

00:50:08.840 Do you ever, how often do you go back to your hometown now?

00:50:11.580 I go back a lot, man.

00:50:12.600 Yeah.

00:50:13.300 I go back a lot.

00:50:14.180 I was just on the coast.

00:50:14.880 I was just in Biloxi this weekend doing a show.

00:50:16.760 Yeah.

00:50:16.920 And everybody came out.

00:50:17.320 I did that Stardome that I saw you were at.

00:50:19.420 Yeah, pretty cool.

00:50:20.040 Yeah, it was wild.

00:50:21.140 It was wild.

00:50:21.560 Did you ever do a tour?

00:50:22.600 Did you ever tour?

00:50:23.380 No, I want to.

00:50:24.460 I want to.

00:50:24.680 Is it crazy?

00:50:26.100 Yeah, it's crazy.

00:50:26.900 I mean, with stand-up, it's like, I feel like it'd be tougher for you, for guys that

00:50:30.780 are, you know, kind of YouTube stars.

00:50:33.500 I don't know what the best term is, but with boxing, I mean, you could go and sell, and

00:50:36.660 you could fight.

00:50:37.980 Yeah.

00:50:38.300 But I'm just saying with YouTube, I think it's different, or, you know, at least I have

00:50:42.400 a thing to do.

00:50:43.080 I was going to say, what the fuck do I do?

00:50:44.420 You do Q&A.

00:50:45.560 Yeah, suck my dick.

00:50:46.760 No.

00:50:47.220 Like, you know what I'm saying?

00:50:48.140 Like modeling.

00:50:48.800 Did you ever watch the thing, Chasing Cameron on Netflix, where they like would.

00:50:52.040 He didn't watch that.

00:50:52.780 Nobody watched it.

00:50:53.220 All those Vine stars would go out, and they would, like, throw water bottles in the crowd.

00:50:57.100 That's what they did.

00:50:57.860 They did well.

00:50:58.680 I did see that, actually.

00:50:59.860 Yeah, they jumped around.

00:51:01.480 They're, like, lip-synced to songs.

00:51:02.980 They, like, throw water in the crowd.

00:51:04.480 So me, personally, probably would rather dive than do that.

00:51:07.860 Than do that.

00:51:08.760 Yeah.

00:51:09.360 Looks good.

00:51:09.800 I'm like a cash grab, kind of.

00:51:13.240 What about the, yeah, the Bieber post?

00:51:15.680 What do you think about that?

00:51:16.520 Talking about the mental health one?

00:51:17.640 Yeah.

00:51:17.940 I thought it was dope, man.

00:51:18.600 Anytime a celebrity opens up about vulnerable shit, like, it's cool.

00:51:22.560 Yeah.

00:51:23.120 You know?

00:51:24.300 Pretty cool, I thought.

00:51:25.160 Yeah, it's cool.

00:51:25.860 A lot of people relate to it.

00:51:27.360 And so when an icon can be open, you know, and truthful about himself, it's cool.

00:51:33.220 Yeah.

00:51:33.420 A hundred percent.

00:51:34.780 Pretty wild to think.

00:51:36.200 Yeah, I just couldn't imagine.

00:51:37.380 Because, you know, it shows people you could have all this stuff.

00:51:39.340 You could have all the money.

00:51:40.100 You could have all the fame.

00:51:41.280 You could be very talented.

00:51:42.280 You could still not be happy.

00:51:43.560 You could still have a lot of those problems.

00:51:45.240 Yeah.

00:51:45.760 You know, it helps me perspective.

00:51:47.020 Real, like, whenever I'm having just a shit day, and I'm, like, one of the worst, you

00:51:53.480 know, sued for, like, hundreds of thousands of dollars, like, hurt myself in boxing in

00:51:57.260 the morning, and, like, sick, and I'm just like, fuck, nothing's going right.

00:52:00.480 I'm always, like, someone, someone, somewhere has it so much worse.

00:52:05.600 Yeah.

00:52:05.940 You know?

00:52:06.160 Yeah, lots of people, lots of people.

00:52:07.440 You know, so, like, I...

00:52:09.020 Yeah.

00:52:09.480 Yeah, continents have it worse.

00:52:11.640 All of them has it extremely worse.

00:52:13.460 I'm right here.

00:52:14.320 So, entire hemispheres have it worse.

00:52:16.580 I love how you're, like, someone, like, he wakes up wherever he is in Beverly Hills.

00:52:19.820 He's like, there's got to be someone out there who's having a bad day today, like I'm having

00:52:24.380 a bad day.

00:52:25.300 And there's got to be some other person out there.

00:52:27.900 Well, let's go to a guy right here.

00:52:29.500 We got a guy right here who has a call.

00:52:30.960 This guy's having a worse day.

00:52:32.100 This guy.

00:52:32.720 He's driving a prison bus.

00:52:34.120 Yeah, he is, actually.

00:52:35.520 Let's go to Michael.

00:52:36.360 Guys, hey, just wondering, you know, with the level of success that you guys have, is

00:52:42.200 it hard to kind of smell the roses sometimes and be actually proud of what you've done

00:52:46.260 and, you know, be really grateful and happy with where you're at?

00:52:50.720 Or do you think it's, like, always going to be a constant battle of wanting the next best

00:52:54.240 thing and not really taking the time to really think about how cool it is to be in the position

00:52:59.500 you're at?

00:53:00.580 It feels like sometimes a constant battle of always wanting the next thing.

00:53:03.860 But, yeah, we'd love to know, guys.

00:53:07.280 Thanks.

00:53:07.980 Gang, gang.

00:53:08.640 Gang, gang, bro.

00:53:09.360 That's a great question, man.

00:53:10.560 That's a great question.

00:53:14.380 You always want to do more stuff, right?

00:53:17.660 Well, I think that that is something that happens to people.

00:53:20.420 I think there's certain types of people that you, there's a drive to, I don't know if it's

00:53:26.700 success or achievement or conquering the next thing where it's just a thing in your brain

00:53:31.820 that turns over where it's like, okay, what next do I try and accomplish?

00:53:36.880 Right.

00:53:37.220 And it's never changed.

00:53:38.120 You happen to accomplish things along the way.

00:53:40.060 Right.

00:53:40.560 But it's what do, what am I going to do next?

00:53:42.760 Yeah.

00:53:43.520 What gets you excited?

00:53:44.680 That's what I feel.

00:53:45.420 It's like whatever excites you, like you're excited by this fight.

00:53:47.940 Yeah.

00:53:48.380 You want to, this is what you're into right now.

00:53:50.500 Yeah.

00:53:51.140 Whatever you're into, it might not be what you're into in six months or a year, but

00:53:54.360 then you got to go find that thing.

00:53:55.860 Yeah.

00:53:56.020 And then keep getting excited.

00:53:57.720 But your brain also, I think some people's brains, some people's, the way they are, is

00:54:01.100 going to find that no matter what.

00:54:02.980 It's like, it's just in you to find whatever that thing is.

00:54:06.180 It's the same reason why you found whatever the first thing was that kind of got you going.

00:54:10.840 Well, it's fear that keeps you from that, right?

00:54:12.540 I think a lot of people want to do things they don't do them.

00:54:15.080 They're afraid of doing them or their circumstances prevent them from doing them.

00:54:19.700 But I think if you get rid of the fear of like, maybe I'll fail at that, or maybe that's

00:54:23.780 not going to be what I think it's going to be, if you get rid of that fear, then you're

00:54:26.780 just open to what is the next thing?

00:54:29.340 What is the next thing?

00:54:30.420 Yeah.

00:54:31.420 It is hard to look back, I think.

00:54:33.580 It's definitely hard to like stop and kind of smell the roses kind of.

00:54:36.980 I make myself sometimes.

00:54:38.820 Like I'll force myself to go on vacation or like I take Sundays off now no matter what.

00:54:43.400 Wow.

00:54:43.660 Because otherwise you get caught up in this cycle of just trying to go, go, go, go, go,

00:54:47.460 and then you fuck yourself.

00:54:48.260 You shoot yourself in the foot.

00:54:49.240 Oh, yeah.

00:54:49.600 Both my feet are fucking full of lead right now.

00:54:52.000 You're working too hard, Theo.

00:54:53.200 I'm working too hard.

00:54:54.220 Too much yoga.

00:54:55.200 Yeah.

00:54:55.560 You got to chill.

00:54:56.680 You got to chill.

00:54:57.820 That's what I'm saying.

00:54:58.580 But no, yeah.

00:54:59.120 It's a yoga trainer.

00:54:59.780 It can burn.

00:55:00.380 I feel like definitely burnout is a real thing.

00:55:02.780 But a lot of successful people that I know weren't chasing the thing that they have now.

00:55:08.920 They loved what they did and then they get the win and that's where their dopamine spike

00:55:13.780 comes in and that's what makes them happy.

00:55:15.360 That's what excites them.

00:55:16.100 And then it gets old onto the next.

00:55:18.280 What else can I do?

00:55:18.900 What else can I conquer?

00:55:20.780 So I think it's just you got to find that thing that makes you happy and then it's like

00:55:24.660 a compound effect.

00:55:25.460 If you keep going and going and going, next thing you know, you have all this success.

00:55:28.980 But this success didn't come overnight.

00:55:32.440 Right.

00:55:32.720 I've been doing this shit for 15 fucking years as all of us have.

00:55:36.160 And there's a price for it.

00:55:37.000 I mean, his success is really – you're starting to get more popular right now, Tim.

00:55:40.460 A little bit.

00:55:40.740 Would you say that?

00:55:41.220 Yeah, a little bit.

00:55:41.980 Yeah, yeah.

00:55:42.960 Over the last year, it's been a good year.

00:55:44.960 I'm doing comedy like eight and a half, nine years.

00:55:46.580 Last year, it's been really good.

00:55:47.500 And what do you kind of attribute that to?

00:55:49.340 I think just have an opportunity, more people knowing about you, coming out here more.

00:55:54.160 I was in New York and I love New York, but coming out here, meeting more people, getting

00:55:58.200 the chance to go and do different things, and then just being funny.

00:56:01.120 So getting a chance and being funny.

00:56:02.780 Getting funny and then going and getting a chance to be funny in front of people.

00:56:06.780 Like Bert Kreischer is like, if you just build houses in a neighborhood and nobody sees them,

00:56:10.540 but then you get a chance to build a house in a neighborhood and people are looking at it

00:56:13.420 and they're like, oh, I like that.

00:56:14.440 I want to build my house.

00:56:15.340 So I think that's what it is.

00:56:16.880 It's just sticking with something and then until it matters.

00:56:19.700 Yeah.

00:56:19.800 Once people see that you can do it, yeah, sometimes it comes too early for people too.

00:56:23.920 It's like you don't really have your art down and then you get an opportunity and then

00:56:29.180 everybody sees your art as not.

00:56:31.000 I mean, we know a ton of dudes that auditioned for SNL when they were 19 or they had a huge

00:56:34.680 opportunity when they were super young or they got an opportunity and it just didn't

00:56:38.480 work.

00:56:38.820 They were on a hot show for a year or whatever.

00:56:40.460 And, you know, now those people, you know, live in their cars and they're suicidal and,

00:56:44.440 you know, it's all over for them.

00:56:46.820 But, you know, but they're good to call and be like, God, I'm not them, huh?

00:56:50.360 You know, that's important to keep them around.

00:56:52.440 Someone, somewhere.

00:56:54.020 Yeah.

00:56:54.300 Someone, somewhere.

00:56:55.380 That's what I'm saying.

00:56:55.900 You got to keep them in your phone and be like, God, you're around.

00:56:58.540 You're still alive.

00:56:59.300 All right.

00:56:59.720 Well, when I first moved here, me and my buddy Paul, we didn't have an apartment yet.

00:57:04.180 So we slept in the McDonald's ball pit over off of Wilshire.

00:57:07.680 Yeah.

00:57:07.840 We jumped in there at night.

00:57:09.140 You're lying.

00:57:09.780 No, we jumped in there at night.

00:57:10.920 No.

00:57:11.400 Get in the ball pit because it was safe.

00:57:12.800 That was the biggest thing.

00:57:13.860 We tried to stay in a park.

00:57:15.220 Was it though?

00:57:16.300 Was it though?

00:57:16.780 Oh, it's safe in there.

00:57:17.300 That was like the lowest level of Jeffrey Epstein's Island, sleeping in a McDonald's ball pit.

00:57:21.420 It's like the poorest pedophile move.

00:57:23.320 Bro, but here's the crazy part.

00:57:24.120 We just sleep in the ball pit.

00:57:25.880 You know.

00:57:27.300 We take a public bus there.

00:57:29.040 The third night, bro, me and my buddy Paul are in there just laying and you would get like under

00:57:32.480 the balls.

00:57:32.860 The worst part was there's like a lot of hair and loose change.

00:57:35.240 Of course.

00:57:35.780 You're dead serious right now.

00:57:36.860 I'm dead serious.

00:57:37.560 This is amazing.

00:57:38.480 And the third night we're in there, we're talking just like we have been the past two

00:57:42.260 nights.

00:57:42.700 Some Asian guy is sleeping on the slide.

00:57:45.480 We didn't even fucking know.

00:57:46.580 Oh, my God.

00:57:48.720 Yo, that's what I was saying.

00:57:49.560 He's like, would you lie down?

00:57:52.280 Let me ask you a question.

00:57:53.520 Was there no security?

00:57:54.460 He was German Asian.

00:57:55.560 Did no one in the McDonald's care?

00:57:57.640 It was shut down.

00:57:59.000 How did you get in?

00:58:00.020 This one closed.

00:58:00.480 You just jump right over the fence and you're in the play area.

00:58:03.160 Oh, outdoor ball pit?

00:58:03.980 Oh, it's outdoor ball pit.

00:58:05.000 Yeah, not indoors.

00:58:06.160 You fuck.

00:58:06.420 Oh, dude.

00:58:07.120 I never saw an outdoor ball pit in my life.

00:58:09.000 Yeah.

00:58:09.320 And also, how the fuck is that safe?

00:58:11.220 You couple of Rothschilds, huh?

00:58:12.680 Yeah.

00:58:13.140 I've never seen animals.

00:58:15.260 Because first of all, you're in a place.

00:58:17.100 No one's going in there.

00:58:18.280 At what point did you say to yourself, this is not a sustainable course of action?

00:58:21.760 Oh, dude.

00:58:22.680 Like, at what point when you're under the balls and you're sleeping in some hair of whatever.

00:58:27.380 You keep your head out.

00:58:27.920 You keep your head out of the balls.

00:58:29.700 That's a real moment.

00:58:30.940 That's a real moment.

00:58:31.880 And you're like, one of those moments for me, I was Santa Claus in Harlem.

00:58:34.840 And I was getting shit on all day by, like, four-year-old kids.

00:58:39.020 And you can say black kids.

00:58:40.560 Yeah.

00:58:41.060 Well, some of them are Dominican.

00:58:43.200 But they were just roasting me.

00:58:44.980 Just shamelessly be.

00:58:46.440 None of them were happy to see Santa.

00:58:47.760 These are hardened little kids.

00:58:48.940 They're like, fuck you, you fat fuck.

00:58:50.420 I'm like, I'm Santa, you know?

00:58:52.140 Yeah.

00:58:52.500 And I would jingle the bell.

00:58:54.100 And then every now and then some drunk would, like, dance with me.

00:58:55.960 And I was like, this is a rough.

00:58:57.360 I hope comedy works out.

00:58:59.440 You know?

00:59:00.240 So that had to be the ball pit moment.

00:59:01.960 When your head's out of the balls, you're like, God, I hope this works out.

00:59:05.140 I just hated the fact that we were, I just didn't, like, there was a traffic.

00:59:09.420 It was right on Wilshire.

00:59:10.760 So it was, like, a lot of traffic.

00:59:11.840 That was the biggest problem, was the traffic?

00:59:13.720 I was still a little, I was younger, so I could handle the pressure of it.

00:59:17.040 But it just wasn't my favorite thing.

00:59:20.660 Fuck, what were we talking about, dude?

00:59:22.400 Like, everything since you slept in a ball pit is going to have been erased from my mind.

00:59:26.180 Oh, speaking of Asians, bro, we got a fucking Asian right here.

00:59:28.480 Let's hear this beautiful Viet.

00:59:30.160 Hey, what's up, guys?

00:59:30.940 So my question is for both you guys.

00:59:33.020 So if you guys have a chance to have an interview or a podcast with anyone, dead or alive, who would that be?

00:59:44.400 Fuck, man.

00:59:45.540 That question always sucks, I feel like.

00:59:48.120 No offense, man.

00:59:49.020 Sorry.

00:59:49.220 I shouldn't have said that to the guys right there.

00:59:52.320 It's a basic bitch question.

00:59:53.500 It's just, yeah, man.

00:59:54.600 It's a very basic bitch question.

00:59:56.180 Abraham Lincoln.

00:59:57.440 I don't want to lose.

00:59:58.240 You know?

00:59:58.940 Wesley Snipes.

01:00:00.220 Yeah.

01:00:01.440 You know, somebody else.

01:00:03.480 I would say either, in both of them, either Christopher Hitchens or Patrice O'Neal.

01:00:08.120 I would say Prince or fucking, I would say actually probably Michael Jackson or Michael Landon.

01:00:14.240 What would you talk to Michael about?

01:00:16.040 I would go in on him real hard about just seeing, you know, what his sexual preferences were.

01:00:22.200 Probably trying to really just chat about it.

01:00:23.840 And what about Michael Landon?

01:00:25.080 That's where I'm more perplexed about that.

01:00:27.320 I love Michael Landon, man.

01:00:28.200 Okay.

01:00:28.740 Interesting.

01:00:29.460 I'd do Nikola Tesla.

01:00:31.240 Oh, wow.

01:00:32.020 I mean, dude.

01:00:33.160 Damn.

01:00:34.520 Oh, my bad.

01:00:35.580 Do you know, because I don't even, do you know enough to even interview a guy like that?

01:00:38.940 I wouldn't even.

01:00:39.760 You might be right.

01:00:40.660 It's very tough, dude.

01:00:41.360 How much do I know about Tesla coils?

01:00:43.060 You know?

01:00:43.500 I don't know.

01:00:43.700 Are you going to bring Nikola Tesla back and be like, dude, the cars?

01:00:46.520 Dope.

01:00:47.080 I would be like, hey.

01:00:48.080 I wouldn't know what to say to him.

01:00:49.680 Hey, won't you fight Elon Musk on the undercar?

01:00:52.140 Yeah.

01:00:52.600 Oh, that's a nice.

01:00:53.480 Oh, you know what?

01:00:54.080 They said he died a virgin.

01:00:55.060 I think I'd probably just ask him straight up if he needed some things.

01:00:59.200 But virgin power is so strong, bro.

01:01:01.320 Is it?

01:01:02.040 Oh, dude.

01:01:02.900 That's crazy.

01:01:03.460 Oh, somebody parked a Volkswagen Rabbit on this guy's leg one time outside of our school

01:01:07.880 house, and I saw a virgin fucking lift it right off his leg.

01:01:11.400 Wild.

01:01:12.820 Yo.

01:01:13.240 And this was in fucking, who knows when it was.

01:01:15.460 Every scene is from like the movie Powder.

01:01:18.000 Every scene.

01:01:18.860 It's amazing.

01:01:19.500 What are you talking about?

01:01:20.420 Every scene of your life is like a movie.

01:01:22.080 You ever read stories like that?

01:01:22.640 I've never seen a virgin pick up a car.

01:01:24.860 Yeah.

01:01:25.340 They pick up AK-47s now.

01:01:27.220 That's the problem, bro.

01:01:28.580 Virgins now are picking up AR-15s.

01:01:30.780 Hopefully they start picking up cars again.

01:01:32.720 That would be nice.

01:01:33.920 They need to start passing out some pussy then, bro.

01:01:36.260 I agree with you.

01:01:36.960 Because they're shutting down all the pussy, bro.

01:01:38.680 That's who's doing it.

01:01:39.700 That's right.

01:01:40.280 We got a virgin right here.

01:01:41.480 Let's hear this young woman.

01:01:42.760 This is the farthest thing from a basic bitch question.

01:01:46.920 What's up, Theo?

01:01:47.800 This question's for all three of you guys.

01:01:50.100 You can't leave the room until you form a human centipede.

01:01:52.940 What's the order going to be?

01:01:54.680 Oh, my God.

01:01:56.420 Shit.

01:01:56.980 What are you on?

01:01:57.760 What website are you on, man?

01:01:59.780 These are our fans.

01:02:01.000 Yeah.

01:02:02.100 These are people coming in from 8chan to discuss.

01:02:05.860 It's 4chan now, dude.

01:02:07.240 Right.

01:02:07.500 They took four away.

01:02:11.680 We're eating cleanest, so I would probably say you up top, man.

01:02:14.640 Tight.

01:02:15.240 Tight.

01:02:15.740 You're up front.

01:02:16.640 I got to go in the back because I have the least amount of going on in my career.

01:02:20.420 That's true of the caboose, dude.

01:02:21.480 Yeah, I have the least amount going on.

01:02:22.980 My manager would be like, you're lucky to be there to eat whosoever ass.

01:02:28.160 They tell you to eat.

01:02:29.640 Don't start any problems.

01:02:31.480 That's the way he talks.

01:02:32.100 You're not eating the ass, bro.

01:02:33.520 You're just being there as a receptacle.

01:02:35.280 It's a human centipede, right?

01:02:36.460 Yeah, but don't get sexual.

01:02:37.660 We're there to fucking survive, dude.

01:02:38.900 Okay.

01:02:39.100 Well, you know what I mean.

01:02:39.520 I'm trying to get out of the room.

01:02:40.440 It's like an escape room.

01:02:41.460 This guy obviously works at the mall.

01:02:42.680 The middle person works at the mall.

01:02:46.040 Where do you think he even come up with a question like that?

01:02:47.860 He's just sitting at the mall all day smelling churros, thinking about what to ask.

01:02:51.420 The middle person dies quick, though, Theo, I think.

01:02:54.800 But I'll sacrifice myself just to get out of the fucking situation, bro.

01:02:57.080 Did you see that movie?

01:02:57.920 I never saw that movie.

01:02:58.540 Oh, because they're...

01:02:59.260 Why?

01:02:59.580 Because they're...

01:02:59.780 Oh, wait.

01:03:00.120 One of them dies quick.

01:03:01.720 Just like, you know, like biology.

01:03:04.340 Oh, interesting.

01:03:05.140 Yeah, you get a UTI.

01:03:05.920 You're too infected.

01:03:06.340 Yeah, you get a lot of UTIs.

01:03:08.460 By the way, I saw the movie.

01:03:09.600 Did you?

01:03:10.260 I didn't see the movie.

01:03:11.220 I didn't see it.

01:03:11.980 Is it brutal?

01:03:12.860 Great flick.

01:03:13.840 I want to watch.

01:03:14.560 Let's watch.

01:03:14.960 I want to watch.

01:03:15.940 I might watch.

01:03:16.900 Not now, but like tonight or something.

01:03:18.620 Great flick.

01:03:19.120 Go to our own respective places.

01:03:21.260 Back to our neutral corners.

01:03:22.320 I'm not saying let's just watch a movie for two hours right now.

01:03:24.700 Back to our neutral corners.

01:03:26.080 Yeah.

01:03:27.280 Wow.

01:03:29.080 That's crazy, man.

01:03:31.120 Hey, guys.

01:03:31.960 This is the last interruption, I promise.

01:03:35.280 But I got to sweeten the deal for you.

01:03:38.640 And I'm talking about honey.

01:03:40.760 Nine times out of ten, shopping online beats going to the store.

01:03:45.620 It's true.

01:03:46.500 You go to the store.

01:03:47.540 Who knows what could happen?

01:03:48.440 And you might fall down.

01:03:49.620 Oh, what's happening here?

01:03:51.360 The lettuce is bad.

01:03:53.260 Where are all the televisions I want?

01:03:56.400 So online, you know what you want.

01:03:58.540 You get it.

01:03:59.040 They bring it to you.

01:04:00.220 You at home, you were already ready to enjoy it.

01:04:03.580 Nine out of ten times, though, you're overpaying online for whatever you're buying.

01:04:09.040 That's why you need honey.

01:04:11.480 Honey is a free browser extension that saves you money everywhere you shop online.

01:04:16.700 That's right.

01:04:17.080 You just download honey on your computer.

01:04:20.820 It's there.

01:04:21.560 When you're right before you're buying something, honey lets you know if there's a better place at a better rate to get the same item.

01:04:30.260 Honey finds coupon codes and other discounts across the web and applies them automatically.

01:04:36.400 I don't know how it works, but honey saves me money where I already shop.

01:04:41.560 Places I've been shopping forever, suddenly I'm saving money.

01:04:44.220 Now, what I bought using honey, I'll tell you exactly what I bought, a set of skis.

01:04:50.000 So, that's good.

01:04:52.200 It's a lot.

01:04:56.580 It's a lot.

01:04:57.080 It's a great question.

01:04:57.860 It's a great question from a smart guy.

01:05:00.360 You called him a woman before.

01:05:02.560 Yeah.

01:05:02.900 One of you did.

01:05:03.600 He looks, he looks, that guy has that look.

01:05:05.980 People don't want to be a man.

01:05:07.160 Yeah, some people.

01:05:08.600 Actually, dude, a lot of guys just want to be men.

01:05:10.780 They're trying their best, man.

01:05:12.260 And they're really shy.

01:05:13.660 But what is a man?

01:05:14.580 Huh?

01:05:14.820 Like, what's a man?

01:05:15.760 I think a man is a guy that's trying to just look nice when he leaves the house and do pretty-

01:05:23.940 Does he use hand sanitizer stuff?

01:05:26.060 Do his best.

01:05:26.580 He can.

01:05:26.860 Yeah.

01:05:27.560 He can if he has it in his truck.

01:05:30.820 And if he doesn't have a truck, he's not a man.

01:05:33.700 Gotta have a truck.

01:05:35.220 I'm not saying that, dude, but I think it helps.

01:05:37.940 You can't be on a fucking bird scooter for fucking nine months out of the year.

01:05:41.640 100%.

01:05:41.960 Yeah, I agree with you.

01:05:44.300 You gotta have a cool job.

01:05:45.440 You can't be like a teacher or something dumb.

01:05:47.080 No, you could have a man teacher, but you gotta fucking dress still like a man and wear cologne.

01:05:51.720 I agree with you.

01:05:52.800 Okay.

01:05:53.320 If you wear cologne around children, dude, you're a fucking man, bro.

01:05:55.780 You're the guy.

01:05:56.380 If you walk through that hallway and it just suffocates people, you're cologne.

01:05:59.780 And you're fucking the Spanish teacher and everybody knows it.

01:06:03.300 Yeah.

01:06:03.540 I agree.

01:06:04.560 I agree.

01:06:05.460 Did you guys ever have any teachers hit on you?

01:06:07.360 Even after you were out of school?

01:06:10.620 Especially probably with your success.

01:06:12.300 Did you have any teachers that kind of reached out?

01:06:15.180 I had it.

01:06:16.380 I hit on the teachers.

01:06:17.620 That was risky, though.

01:06:19.280 Because were you successful and in high school at the same time?

01:06:21.220 No, no.

01:06:22.100 I was like a good football player.

01:06:23.660 Right.

01:06:23.840 So I kind of semi got the pass so I could say some things like, oh, I like your hair

01:06:29.780 today.

01:06:30.260 Yeah.

01:06:30.740 And she'd be like, yeah.

01:06:32.440 Take your seat.

01:06:33.160 And I'd be like, all right.

01:06:34.060 All right.

01:06:34.580 But we know what's up.

01:06:35.740 Yeah, we know what's happening.

01:06:36.660 But yo, I mean, who doesn't have that weird fetish where it's like, I would love to hook

01:06:40.340 up with one of my teachers.

01:06:41.600 Like, my biology teacher is a smoke show.

01:06:44.060 Yeah.

01:06:44.440 Yeah, she was bad.

01:06:46.020 I did cocaine with a substitute.

01:06:48.600 And that's all.

01:06:49.400 That's as far as I got.

01:06:50.800 How old were you?

01:06:53.380 I was maybe 18.

01:06:56.120 Maybe like the year I graduated high school.

01:06:58.500 We were doing coke with one of our substitutes.

01:07:01.120 And was he a homosexual or not?

01:07:02.560 No, it was a chick.

01:07:03.220 He was a woman.

01:07:03.740 Yeah.

01:07:04.260 Wow.

01:07:05.520 Subs of the end, dude.

01:07:06.480 What class?

01:07:07.700 She was an English sub, so she was an idiot.

01:07:09.980 Yeah.

01:07:11.660 So she wasn't smart.

01:07:13.000 She was probably trying to go out and sniff some coke.

01:07:15.240 And, you know, fuck her way into the lower middle class.

01:07:18.620 She was fuck her way into a little Levitt house in Long Island.

01:07:22.060 Good woman.

01:07:24.800 Oh, my God, bro.

01:07:25.900 You got to play Santa more often, dude.

01:07:28.200 I would love to watch the small black kids attack you.

01:07:31.120 They just roasted me.

01:07:32.620 They were brutal.

01:07:33.520 And here's the other thing.

01:07:34.160 I wasn't just Santa.

01:07:35.020 I was selling Obamacare.

01:07:36.720 Because the thing was that it was a health care truck.

01:07:39.460 Oh, Santa's got a fucking gimmick.

01:07:40.860 And you would have to, like, get them with the, they'd be like, oh, they're Santa.

01:07:43.720 Yeah, and then you'd get the kids in.

01:07:45.200 Then you'd grab their parents and be like.

01:07:46.460 That's called a bait and switch.

01:07:47.340 It's a bait and switch, big time.

01:07:48.600 Then you'd grab their parents and be like, listen, you're going to have a high deductible,

01:07:51.520 but it doesn't matter.

01:07:52.180 Just declare bankruptcy.

01:07:53.720 You don't have to give them a fake name anymore.

01:07:57.060 You know, and you'd have to explain to the kids, you know, like, this is a present that

01:08:01.100 you're not going to realize the importance of now.

01:08:02.700 Yeah.

01:08:03.300 So it was a dark time.

01:08:06.100 I had fun with it, though.

01:08:07.080 You had fun with it.

01:08:07.620 I was younger.

01:08:08.180 I was doing comedy.

01:08:08.900 My life's shitty.

01:08:09.700 Your life's been a real piece of shit.

01:08:11.240 It's been something.

01:08:12.780 Okay.

01:08:13.160 You know?

01:08:13.680 I never slept in a ball pit, but I'm not against it.

01:08:16.000 Like, I'm not opposed to sleeping in a ball pit.

01:08:17.280 Yeah, but still, man.

01:08:19.000 They were brutal little kids.

01:08:21.000 Yeah.

01:08:21.260 Oh, I could see that.

01:08:22.140 Dude, I was in Vietnam once.

01:08:23.380 I'm going to let a couple of kids cut my hair, right?

01:08:25.080 I thought it'd be, like, a fun thing to do.

01:08:26.480 Something different for them.

01:08:27.520 Yeah.

01:08:27.760 And this one asshole fucking kid, bro, instead of trying to make it look nice, just fucking

01:08:33.240 cut a bunch of it off.

01:08:33.940 Yeah, they're demon little kids.

01:08:36.540 Yeah.

01:08:37.240 So that hit me hard.

01:08:38.420 Nick, let's throw a topic out there.

01:08:39.420 You got a couple topics, man, and we'll get through this.

01:08:41.400 Yeah.

01:08:42.560 Let's see.

01:08:43.880 Prince Harry responded to criticism.

01:08:46.060 He took a private plane four times in 11 days with his family, and people took umbrage

01:08:51.700 with it because he's considered an ambassador for climate change awareness.

01:08:54.660 He responded back, said, I came here by commercial.

01:08:59.000 I spent 99% of my life traveling the world by commercial.

01:09:02.500 Occasionally, there needs to be an opportunity based on a unique circumstance to ensure my

01:09:06.000 family are safe, and it's genuinely as simple as that.

01:09:10.120 I mean, I think you're Prince Harry, man.

01:09:11.940 You could do whatever you want, I think, while you're still the prince.

01:09:14.320 What does an ambassador for climate change awareness even mean?

01:09:16.560 I don't know what that means.

01:09:17.420 Nothing.

01:09:17.560 Somebody that's hoping it's actually real.

01:09:18.880 What do you do?

01:09:19.040 You show up somewhere, and you're like, by the way, we got to, you know, we got to

01:09:24.640 get these glaciers back in order, and then you get out of there?

01:09:27.900 What are you even doing?

01:09:28.760 To be honest, the article said ambassador for climate change, which sounds like you're trying

01:09:33.480 to make climate change happen, so I added the-

01:09:36.220 This is a thing that people, elites, have to do now that they have no interest in.

01:09:40.200 Like, if somebody goes to him and goes, you got to get out.

01:09:42.760 Dude, the planet is falling apart.

01:09:44.980 You got to, you're the ambassador for climate change.

01:09:46.860 Look at these six seagulls I got on my phone.

01:09:48.900 Yeah, just go over there and take a few pictures in Greenland, and, you know, let everybody

01:09:53.560 know we're doing the right thing, you know?

01:09:55.500 That's crazy.

01:09:56.100 Tell the poor people to, you know-

01:09:57.880 Plus, Michigan, they're hoping for a little climate change.

01:10:00.360 Yeah.

01:10:00.760 You're telling me we get eight extra degrees in the winter, bro?

01:10:03.580 Yeah.

01:10:03.980 Fucking sign me up, dude.

01:10:05.760 Right.

01:10:05.940 Fuck a penguin, bro.

01:10:06.980 Right.

01:10:07.340 You know what I'm saying?

01:10:08.180 Fuck a penguin there.

01:10:09.380 Who cares?

01:10:10.220 Yeah, I want to be able to go outside in the yard on Christmas.

01:10:12.480 Like, that's the thing.

01:10:13.340 Climate change is going to, it's definitely going to really hurt probably millions.

01:10:16.820 Right.

01:10:17.300 But it's also going to-

01:10:18.820 It's going to help the 48,000 people that live in Mission.

01:10:21.020 It's going to restructure the value of real estate.

01:10:27.260 Around the Great Lakes.

01:10:28.300 So, suddenly, the people that have all the inland real estate, there are people like, oh, you

01:10:31.600 live in a shit hole, man.

01:10:32.940 Yeah, everything's going to move in because Manhattan and Miami are underwater.

01:10:36.400 Yeah.

01:10:36.700 Frozen or underwater.

01:10:37.620 You're fucked.

01:10:38.300 Now who's fucked, bro?

01:10:39.320 Yeah.

01:10:39.740 Now Kansas.

01:10:40.660 Look how rich you are.

01:10:41.720 Yeah.

01:10:41.900 You can't swim.

01:10:42.900 They're buying in Montana.

01:10:43.480 A lot of other people are buying stuff in Montana right now.

01:10:45.760 Yeah.

01:10:46.260 Huge.

01:10:47.200 So, I'm just saying, what goes around comes around, dude.

01:10:49.700 You can't win them all.

01:10:50.760 So, it's like, you know, you get ice, sometimes you don't.

01:10:54.900 That's the way to-

01:10:55.680 That's probably our official policy on climate change now with Trump.

01:10:59.600 I think Trump would be like, sometimes you get ice, sometimes you don't.

01:11:02.460 Next question.

01:11:03.240 But first of all, then you have shit like the Ice Age.

01:11:05.320 Those fucking little animals are having a blast.

01:11:07.360 Did you see that?

01:11:07.980 They made a second one.

01:11:08.880 It's a fun as hell.

01:11:09.780 They made a second one.

01:11:10.840 Yeah.

01:11:11.180 Yeah.

01:11:11.420 Everyone's fine.

01:11:12.200 How fucking bad was it?

01:11:13.560 How bad could it be?

01:11:14.860 Yeah.

01:11:15.000 It's a big snow day.

01:11:16.040 For a whole age.

01:11:18.320 Yeah.

01:11:18.620 Giving Dennis Leary a job.

01:11:20.380 Yeah.

01:11:20.700 No shit, huh?

01:11:22.320 I'm with you.

01:11:22.700 Climate change is keeping a lot of fucking people in business, dude.

01:11:24.740 I'm with you, dude.

01:11:25.880 Or non-climate change.

01:11:27.000 I don't even know which is which anymore.

01:11:28.180 What else we got, man?

01:11:29.040 Over the weekend, the Boston Straight Pride Parade actually happened.

01:11:33.480 About 200 people marched and 600 protesters showed up.

01:11:37.900 Three dozen people were arrested on various charges, including disorderly conduct.

01:11:42.900 Dude, this is just fun.

01:11:44.020 People need something to do.

01:11:45.280 People need stuff to do.

01:11:46.600 Yeah.

01:11:46.980 People get mad at these skirmishes in Portland and stuff.

01:11:49.500 People need to dress up and beat each other up with batons and shields.

01:11:53.920 This is what it is.

01:11:55.400 Not everybody's going to build a business or have a family.

01:11:59.720 Agreed.

01:11:59.900 Some people need to just let it out.

01:12:03.000 Let it out.

01:12:03.980 I love it.

01:12:04.540 It is what it is.

01:12:05.780 I mean, just have fun.

01:12:07.880 Televise it.

01:12:08.820 Yeah.

01:12:09.180 Just write.

01:12:10.000 Right.

01:12:10.180 Oh, that'd be like a sick pay-per-view.

01:12:11.920 Yeah.

01:12:12.200 And by the way, this is what I would be doing.

01:12:13.840 I'd be fighting people in the streets.

01:12:15.480 Yeah.

01:12:15.880 Like LARPing.

01:12:16.920 Right.

01:12:17.000 Like real LARPing.

01:12:18.120 That's what they're doing.

01:12:18.620 That's what I'd be doing if I wasn't doing this.

01:12:20.140 Right.

01:12:20.560 There's nothing to do in Ohio.

01:12:22.140 There's nothing to do.

01:12:23.180 Oh, you got to.

01:12:23.520 Well, there's more to do than LARP and fight people in the street, I'm sure.

01:12:26.740 Not that I remember.

01:12:27.740 Not that I remember.

01:12:28.200 There's a few businesses.

01:12:29.760 You can sell cars.

01:12:31.680 You can have a car dealership in Columbus, Ohio.

01:12:33.600 Be killing it right now.

01:12:34.300 Alcoholics Anonymous was started in Akron, dude.

01:12:36.320 That's huge.

01:12:36.640 There's tons of shit to do.

01:12:37.580 There's the Rock on the Range music festival where all those families go vape together and watch Machine

01:12:41.480 Gun Kelly.

01:12:42.260 Yeah, dude.

01:12:42.720 You know, Yellow Wolf.

01:12:45.660 That's true.

01:12:46.300 Yeah.

01:12:46.540 Yeah.

01:12:46.900 Yeah.

01:12:47.140 We love MGK.

01:12:47.860 We can watch them at MGK.

01:12:49.060 Yeah, it was great.

01:12:49.580 I watched.

01:12:50.000 I did comedy there.

01:12:50.900 No one wanted that.

01:12:51.860 Really?

01:12:52.600 They didn't want that.

01:12:53.960 It's, well, I mean, nobody's there for that.

01:12:55.520 I mean, we were in a tent.

01:12:56.340 We were in like the comedy tent.

01:12:57.720 And then MGK and those guys were in the other thing.

01:12:59.620 We didn't even want to do our, like, can we just go watch the show?

01:13:03.540 And obviously we had to, we were a tent for people that were like coming, like they would

01:13:07.800 go vomit in the port-a-potty and then come back to our tent to just get their bearings.

01:13:12.660 Okay.

01:13:13.060 And then go back.

01:13:13.780 You were like an ancillary.

01:13:14.780 Yeah, to get back to the main show.

01:13:16.820 So it wasn't, it wasn't my best set.

01:13:19.100 Like a bathroom.

01:13:19.800 You guys were almost like a bathroom.

01:13:20.880 We were absolutely a bathroom.

01:13:22.820 Yeah.

01:13:23.180 And I would do it this year.

01:13:24.420 But it was a fun, the concert was great.

01:13:25.940 Yeah.

01:13:28.220 Straight proper aid.

01:13:29.200 I don't know if I really.

01:13:30.660 Why are there straight people marching?

01:13:33.400 Like.

01:13:33.680 I think, well, I definitely think that straight men feel kind of attacked.

01:13:37.040 I think there's a lot of men that feel really attacked probably.

01:13:39.060 Especially by like the news and stuff like that.

01:13:41.160 Like if you're a straight white, if you're a straight white Christian man, you're definitely,

01:13:45.940 you're a complete piece of shit.

01:13:48.040 You have no value anymore.

01:13:49.200 You ruined the world.

01:13:51.080 I think there's a lot of that kind of just loose energy kind of milling around.

01:13:54.760 But it's not like, it's not like an oppressed group.

01:13:56.920 So like politely, like fucking.

01:13:59.340 Right.

01:13:59.780 Suck a dick.

01:14:00.740 It's not an oppressed group.

01:14:01.960 But I think it's still.

01:14:03.080 So right.

01:14:03.520 So most people aren't doing it.

01:14:05.220 But then you.

01:14:05.560 That's why only 200 people show up.

01:14:07.280 And 600 protesters, by the way.

01:14:08.960 Yeah.

01:14:09.340 Oh, yeah.

01:14:09.740 And the protesters are the ones that make the whole event.

01:14:12.140 Like if they didn't show up, no one would care.

01:14:14.000 Definitely.

01:14:14.500 Literally no one would care.

01:14:15.420 They have these big marches where four Nazis show up.

01:14:17.980 And then 30,000 protesters show up and they're like, we're defending civilization from these four.

01:14:23.880 And it's just like four fat guys with helmets they taped onto their head with like, you know,

01:14:29.820 like weird white supremacist signs.

01:14:32.040 And they're being guarded by like 20 police officers to protect their free speech.

01:14:36.480 And they're like, they just have the signs up.

01:14:38.160 And then there's like 30,000 lesbians with green hair just throwing rocks at these four guys.

01:14:43.540 And it's like.

01:14:44.000 But also trying to steal their outfit.

01:14:45.460 Yeah.

01:14:46.020 Right.

01:14:46.280 And it's just like, oh, this is civilized.

01:14:49.200 And they throw milkshakes at each other.

01:14:51.140 Yo, I heard.

01:14:51.720 I heard they fill those milkshakes with quick cement, quick dry cement.

01:14:54.460 Oh, no.

01:14:54.580 But it's like.

01:14:55.140 You heard that?

01:14:56.240 I love that.

01:14:56.940 Yeah.

01:14:57.060 They look like milkshakes.

01:14:58.040 And they're really just like hard little cylindrical cement.

01:15:00.800 Wow.

01:15:01.420 A milkshake brings all the boys to the construction site.

01:15:03.580 What a fat country.

01:15:04.940 Yeah.

01:15:05.120 That we're having a dessert themed revolution.

01:15:08.460 People chucking brownies at each other.

01:15:10.540 Oh, dude.

01:15:10.720 My cousin fucking took a creme brulee to the fucking sternum the other day.

01:15:13.920 Really?

01:15:14.600 What happened?

01:15:15.220 It's been the same.

01:15:15.680 Just shit got out of hand.

01:15:16.820 Yeah.

01:15:18.140 It's fucking great, though.

01:15:19.780 Bro, it's definitely the most.

01:15:20.620 The creme brulees are so good.

01:15:21.980 Bro, it's entertaining, right?

01:15:23.680 Now, who got them?

01:15:24.800 Can you say?

01:15:25.240 It's entertaining, huh?

01:15:26.280 Can you say?

01:15:26.740 A black woman.

01:15:27.700 Interesting.

01:15:28.400 Great.

01:15:29.200 That's what I was picturing before you vocalized it.

01:15:31.940 I wanted to make sure I wasn't racist.

01:15:33.720 No, you're not right.

01:15:34.820 Bro, it's not racist just if a black person's involved in something, it's not racist, bro.

01:15:37.900 I agree with you.

01:15:38.640 Otherwise, the whole NFL would be racist, or the whole everything would be.

01:15:41.620 I agree.

01:15:41.840 So, he just popped off quick.

01:15:44.060 Shit popped off, dude.

01:15:45.380 There was two restaurants near each other, and they were sharing parking.

01:15:47.240 This incredibly comes in a dish, though.

01:15:49.180 Yeah.

01:15:49.400 So, we got hit with a dish, too.

01:15:50.560 That's the thing.

01:15:50.840 A ramekin.

01:15:51.100 Got hit with a little ramekin.

01:15:51.760 Ooh, see, that hurts.

01:15:52.800 Took a ramekin to the sternum.

01:15:54.540 Sternum, bro.

01:15:55.120 And that hurts.

01:15:56.300 You ever hit the sternum real hard?

01:15:57.980 Yeah.

01:15:58.060 It fucking hurts, bro.

01:15:59.980 Reminds you who your parents are, suddenly.

01:16:02.140 Yeah, it's true.

01:16:02.980 Both of my parents flash before my eyes every time I get fucking punched in the chest.

01:16:05.840 You ever forget, in general, who your parents are?

01:16:08.820 Yeah.

01:16:08.980 Yeah, my dad's been dead a long time.

01:16:10.060 The other day, people was like, oh, what's up with your dad?

01:16:11.900 And I was like, where has my dad been?

01:16:13.540 And then I was like, oh, he's deceased.

01:16:15.400 Where is he?

01:16:16.240 So, sometimes, yeah, I'll miss a frame or two.

01:16:20.120 What else we got, Nick?

01:16:21.460 Well, I think we'd be remiss if we let Tim get out of here without letting us know what

01:16:25.400 really happened with Jeffrey Epstein.

01:16:27.240 You seem to be encyclopedic.

01:16:29.140 Yeah, I mean, you know.

01:16:30.000 And you're rich enough where you could get involved in this shit.

01:16:32.160 Yeah.

01:16:32.460 So, yeah, let's hear what's going on.

01:16:33.420 We'll never know.

01:16:34.700 I mean, that's that.

01:16:35.180 I mean, he was clearly either murdered or allowed to kill himself.

01:16:37.720 I mean, you have narcoleptic prison guards.

01:16:39.800 You have malfunctioning cameras.

01:16:41.580 You have him making a will the day before he died.

01:16:44.760 You have him being taken off suicide watch 48 hours before he died.

01:16:48.620 But, I mean, if you don't believe there's something going on, you're in on it.

01:16:53.420 Yeah.

01:16:53.680 That's the way I feel like.

01:16:54.820 If you don't believe it's a conspiracy.

01:16:55.600 Yeah, him buying a Sorry I'm Dead shirt on Amazon two days before.

01:16:59.900 Yeah.

01:17:00.420 I mean, him having dinner last night in West Hollywood.

01:17:03.860 That was a little suspicious.

01:17:05.920 Having a dinner party called Welcome Jeffrey to the Hood.

01:17:09.120 That was odd.

01:17:10.480 His new job at the Disney Channel.

01:17:12.500 Questionable.

01:17:13.600 Questionable.

01:17:14.640 But that's what happened.

01:17:15.680 You'll never know what happened.

01:17:16.780 Football season's coming.

01:17:17.780 No one cares.

01:17:18.260 Most people want to watch The Bachelor.

01:17:19.720 They don't care.

01:17:21.480 Politicians are having sex with kids on islands.

01:17:23.760 That's a fact.

01:17:24.560 And now no one cares.

01:17:25.940 It's like, doesn't matter anymore.

01:17:27.160 You talk to somebody in the supermarket.

01:17:28.460 They're like, that was last week.

01:17:30.940 I'm like, yo.

01:17:31.720 So politicians are like banging kids on an island.

01:17:34.000 They're like, get out of here.

01:17:35.100 It was last week.

01:17:36.040 I'm over that.

01:17:37.140 It's just a spectrum, man.

01:17:38.700 Yeah.

01:17:38.980 It's a spectrum, dude.

01:17:39.760 It is what it is, man.

01:17:40.660 These people aren't getting so rich so that they can just keep eating steaks.

01:17:43.860 They want to get involved in shit.

01:17:45.460 It is true.

01:17:45.900 They want to fight people from other countries.

01:17:48.460 Yeah.

01:17:48.760 That's right.

01:17:49.720 That's how it starts and it escalates, man.

01:17:51.560 It's crazy.

01:17:52.720 I'm just – to me, it makes me happy thinking of Bill and Hillary Clinton sitting in their

01:17:57.980 home the day he was killed, whether they knew –

01:18:00.240 Are you pro-choice or pro-life when it comes to young children having to have sex with rich

01:18:05.220 people?

01:18:05.660 Here's the thing.

01:18:06.240 I don't think young children should have to have sex with rich people, but I don't

01:18:10.000 want any more comics.

01:18:11.680 Right.

01:18:12.020 You know what I mean?

01:18:13.060 Yeah.

01:18:13.220 So those kids got to do something.

01:18:14.840 I think you bring back the workhouses.

01:18:17.080 I think what China's doing right now is very positive with the kids, getting them in working

01:18:20.480 young, teach them the value of a dollar.

01:18:22.480 Oh, and do the balancing on each other?

01:18:24.440 Yeah.

01:18:24.820 I like all that.

01:18:25.600 Get the kids in gymnastics.

01:18:26.580 No, they shouldn't have to fuck Bill Clinton and Alan Dershowitz.

01:18:29.140 Well, you fucking ruined it.

01:18:34.480 You ruined the episode.

01:18:35.820 Sorry.

01:18:39.640 I may feel differently when I get successful, though.

01:18:41.820 That might be one of those things where when I get really successful, I'm like, what was

01:18:45.180 I thinking?

01:18:46.280 I was such a loser.

01:18:48.500 Who knows?

01:18:49.820 Who would be in the undercard of your bouts?

01:18:52.680 I want him on now.

01:18:54.020 Yeah.

01:18:54.700 Who would he fight, though?

01:18:55.560 I don't know.

01:18:56.080 That's a good question.

01:18:56.720 Let's have it be a woman.

01:18:57.480 Let's start small.

01:18:58.400 No, it needs to be another gay man because we can bring back the gay boxing.

01:19:01.780 What about a woman who's now a man?

01:19:05.820 Can I fight a woman who now identifies as a man?

01:19:10.740 I think you guys can if you wear matching outfits.

01:19:14.000 Let me tell you right now.

01:19:14.820 I will do that.

01:19:15.460 Please beat your people.

01:19:16.700 I will do that.

01:19:18.840 Everyone's good with that.

01:19:19.800 I'm in.

01:19:20.840 My agent will be so excited.

01:19:23.120 They'll be like, how was that podcast?

01:19:24.380 I'm like, you're never going to believe it.

01:19:25.520 I'm fighting a trans person at the Staples Center.

01:19:28.940 You're like, thank God.

01:19:31.180 You're like me.

01:19:31.720 Thank God.

01:19:32.480 This is a good year.

01:19:33.540 This is a good year.

01:19:34.580 Me and Chelsea Handler about to fucking go totally.

01:19:36.760 Dude, I would love to hit Chelsea Handler.

01:19:39.320 Bro, she's two arguments away from dropping a set of nuts.

01:19:41.660 Dude, I saw her on a plane the other day and she just, she looks mean.

01:19:45.020 Oh, yeah.

01:19:45.460 She looks so mean.

01:19:46.800 Bro, why do some rich people get so mean?

01:19:49.820 I don't know, but she looks super mean, dude.

01:19:52.420 She looks like somebody would kick a service dog.

01:19:54.520 Yeah.

01:19:54.940 Yeah.

01:19:55.660 She's got that energy.

01:19:57.200 People get lonely and mean, man.

01:19:58.720 That's what happens, dude.

01:19:59.860 Money doesn't make everything.

01:20:00.880 It really just doesn't make everything great, you know?

01:20:02.900 No, it doesn't.

01:20:03.920 It helps sometimes.

01:20:05.100 It helps things, yeah.

01:20:06.060 What they say, somebody said it helped make you warm in the winter and cool in the summer.

01:20:09.500 That's what somebody said.

01:20:10.480 Right.

01:20:11.340 That's a poor person saying that.

01:20:13.540 That's a homeless person's idea of what money is.

01:20:16.040 You get cool and warm.

01:20:18.180 It's like, no, there's many other things you get.

01:20:21.480 That's an insane, that's like the lowest level of what money can do.

01:20:26.120 Do you think fame?

01:20:26.900 You get water when you're thirsty and food when you're hungry.

01:20:31.660 Oh, money.

01:20:32.900 Oh, man.

01:20:33.580 You get mittens in December.

01:20:36.920 What about fame?

01:20:39.600 Let's talk for a minute about fame and then we'll get out of here.

01:20:41.640 What about fame?

01:20:42.420 Popularity.

01:20:42.800 What do you think about it, Logan?

01:20:44.160 Man, it's, I mean.

01:20:45.700 Do you worry about it?

01:20:47.220 Are there things you see where it could get out of hand?

01:20:51.160 For sure, yeah.

01:20:52.800 Yeah, I mean, you know, we've all seen it.

01:20:54.880 Like fame gets to your head and then all of a sudden like these young child actors are

01:20:58.160 doing drugs and partying way too early and they grow up way too fast and then they

01:21:03.040 don't know who they are when they're like 22, 23 when you're like supposed to be discovering

01:21:06.720 yourself.

01:21:07.300 So, yeah, I mean, it depends on the person.

01:21:11.060 Obviously, it's all circumstantial to me, you know?

01:21:13.660 I mean.

01:21:14.060 But is there a difference between like what you do in working in an environment where it's

01:21:18.500 a little bit more people get an idea of who you are than just an idea?

01:21:23.180 I think so.

01:21:23.800 Just a, like a, like just a worshipping of an image of someone.

01:21:30.260 I feel like any sense?

01:21:31.420 Yeah, yeah.

01:21:32.000 So, my shit's like relatable.

01:21:34.180 I'm approachable.

01:21:35.320 What you see on the screen is pretty much what you get in real life, you know?

01:21:37.840 So, people, oh, yo, Logan, what's good?

01:21:39.280 I dab him up.

01:21:39.840 I say what's up.

01:21:40.460 We joke about whatever.

01:21:41.980 And that's the new fame.

01:21:43.000 Like the old fame is almost creepy.

01:21:44.760 Like the old actors who you don't know anything about.

01:21:47.560 Actors.

01:21:48.080 It's kind of creepy, right?

01:21:49.360 Because it's like, you're so used to like guys like him or you or anybody that is a

01:21:54.100 platform being very open and public.

01:21:56.120 So, when those, like when you have actors that aren't like that, it's kind of strange.

01:21:59.700 Like that type.

01:22:00.200 You remember seeing, everyone's had this experience in LA where you know this actor who's got the

01:22:06.360 most, the bubbliest personality on screen.

01:22:08.680 Yeah.

01:22:08.960 And then you say hi to him in real life and they suck.

01:22:11.640 Yeah, the kid from Young Sheldon.

01:22:12.880 Suck the life out of you.

01:22:14.020 The kid from Young Sheldon?

01:22:14.860 Piece of shit.

01:22:15.640 Literal piece of shit.

01:22:17.420 And I hate his guts.

01:22:18.840 I was like, yo, what up, Sheldon?

01:22:20.140 He just stared at me.

01:22:21.120 And I was like, I'll kick you in the neck.

01:22:23.900 You know what I mean?

01:22:25.340 Hey, can you kick people in the neck?

01:22:27.540 I could try.

01:22:28.340 I would have to get a trainer.

01:22:29.240 Dude, a gay guy, you can do a lot more stuff.

01:22:31.400 And I know, I'm not just saying you're a gay guy.

01:22:32.580 I know you're a lot of different stuff.

01:22:33.920 But you can, as a gay man, you can kick somebody in the fucking neck and you're kind of okay

01:22:38.520 with it.

01:22:38.800 I don't think a straight man or, you know.

01:22:40.740 I'm not the type of gay guy to get away with that.

01:22:42.400 Like if the Jussie Smollett hate crime people happen to me, people will be like, oh, good.

01:22:46.980 Like if they showed my face, they'd be like, two guys hit him.

01:22:49.240 They'd be like, good.

01:22:50.640 No news story.

01:22:51.960 Well, good.

01:22:52.740 I'm glad he got hit.

01:22:54.400 And that, and next.

01:22:55.860 So it's like certain gay guys get away with it.

01:22:58.160 Certain gay guys, they're like, yeah, oh, good.

01:23:00.540 You know?

01:23:01.000 We need more gay bank robbers and stuff.

01:23:02.780 Why aren't you guys doing more?

01:23:03.200 I always wanted more gay gang leaders.

01:23:05.060 Yeah.

01:23:05.460 Like that's what I wanted.

01:23:06.360 Gay criminals.

01:23:07.140 Gay gangsters.

01:23:07.820 That's real equality.

01:23:09.200 Dude, that's what I'm saying, man.

01:23:10.260 A lot of gay guys are just kind of milling around the outskirts of like real estate and fucking

01:23:14.580 I know they're trying to live these like posh lives.

01:23:16.580 I'm like, get in the game.

01:23:17.560 Yeah.

01:23:17.720 Where are these real motherfuckers?

01:23:19.080 I don't want a gay dude fucking milking animals.

01:23:20.880 I know.

01:23:21.140 I want putting a Glock in someone's mouth.

01:23:23.240 Take the money.

01:23:24.400 It's going to happen.

01:23:25.220 It's going to come.

01:23:25.900 Good.

01:23:26.340 Yeah.

01:23:26.900 I think they're already there, man.

01:23:28.100 Yeah.

01:23:28.280 They're already there.

01:23:29.120 Yeah.

01:23:29.280 We probably just don't know.

01:23:30.180 Yeah.

01:23:30.260 We don't.

01:23:30.580 You don't know.

01:23:30.920 Oh, that's true.

01:23:31.620 That's true.

01:23:32.040 We just don't know.

01:23:32.620 There's a lot of dudes in the closet.

01:23:33.900 Those are the, you know, a lot of closeted guys.

01:23:36.300 Yeah.

01:23:36.480 Yeah.

01:23:36.640 Well, Tim, you shit on power.

01:23:38.020 The lead of the Mexican cartel is gay in the show.

01:23:41.240 I didn't say, I don't shit on it.

01:23:42.360 I said it's for people with 75 IQs and that is a fact.

01:23:45.540 It's for a simpler group of people.

01:23:47.260 It is not for people that demand a lot from entertainment.

01:23:50.180 Yeah.

01:23:50.400 It's from people that are like, ooh, that's a gangster and that's a gangster and then the

01:23:53.700 gangsters fight.

01:23:54.600 And there's nothing wrong with that.

01:23:55.980 Yeah.

01:23:56.320 But it's a show for retarded people.

01:23:58.640 Yeah.

01:23:58.760 It's a dumb show.

01:24:00.720 A lot of adults that drink juice boxes.

01:24:02.400 It's a very dumb show.

01:24:04.440 Yeah.

01:24:04.680 It's very dumb and the people who write it are dumb.

01:24:07.020 It's very simple.

01:24:07.700 Hey, hey, hey.

01:24:08.400 Yeah.

01:24:08.780 I'm a gangster.

01:24:09.640 We're going to build an empire.

01:24:11.660 Okay.

01:24:12.220 Black History Month.

01:24:13.340 Here we go.

01:24:14.760 What is it about?

01:24:15.520 What's it even about?

01:24:16.360 Literally.

01:24:17.100 It's just about these two kids who grew up together.

01:24:19.420 It sounds horrible.

01:24:19.700 It's just about.

01:24:20.620 Immediately.

01:24:21.380 It's just about.

01:24:22.620 You're lowering our expectations.

01:24:24.000 We already have none.

01:24:24.980 It's actually about two guys who grew up together and they sell drugs.

01:24:29.000 Oh my God.

01:24:30.120 No.

01:24:31.160 I had no idea.

01:24:32.100 It gets more interesting.

01:24:32.460 But the guy who he grew up with, the girl that he was in love with when he was younger,

01:24:37.940 she works for the FBI and they start dating again.

01:24:41.980 So it's like Homeland?

01:24:42.980 It's like Billions and Homeland and every other show.

01:24:45.440 Yeah.

01:24:45.560 But before they did it.

01:24:46.720 This was like 2011 when it started.

01:24:48.440 Sounds good.

01:24:49.260 Yeah.

01:24:49.420 I'll start watching that.

01:24:51.940 I'll just want to.

01:24:52.580 I'll start watching that in the break room at Arby's with the rest of the crew.

01:24:56.220 Bro, I want to say this, man.

01:25:01.540 One of the.

01:25:03.260 Sorry.

01:25:03.720 Who is it though?

01:25:04.920 It's my manager.

01:25:05.680 I think he heard that I was fighting a trans person.

01:25:07.600 He's very excited.

01:25:08.520 How do you know it's your manager?

01:25:09.940 He doesn't even have the number saved, by the way.

01:25:11.700 Yeah.

01:25:11.760 No, it's just in New York City.

01:25:12.740 I'm not going to.

01:25:13.200 I'm going to fire him soon.

01:25:14.100 He's not getting his numbers.

01:25:15.020 Yeah.

01:25:15.440 Dude, if your manager.

01:25:16.120 He does nothing.

01:25:16.820 If he has time to call you during the day, dude, he's obviously fucking not that busy.

01:25:19.860 No, he does nothing.

01:25:20.780 Yeah.

01:25:21.160 He'll call me.

01:25:21.920 Oh, it's crazy, man.

01:25:22.840 He'll call me from vacation and start talking about his vacation.

01:25:25.300 I'm like, can you get me a fucking job, man, please?

01:25:28.060 Yeah.

01:25:28.800 He just goes, it's great.

01:25:29.840 That's all he goes.

01:25:30.320 He goes, it's great.

01:25:31.260 It's great.

01:25:32.100 I'll talk to him.

01:25:32.720 I go, it's great.

01:25:33.260 I go, what does Comedy Central think?

01:25:34.820 He goes, they don't want anything to do with it.

01:25:37.280 And he goes, it's great.

01:25:38.360 I think it's great.

01:25:39.140 And it's like, all right, thanks.

01:25:40.520 Why is he talking like he's playing hide and go secret?

01:25:42.280 He just talked.

01:25:43.080 He's the last manager from the 90s.

01:25:44.560 He wears white pants.

01:25:46.180 He has me, Colin Quinn.

01:25:47.440 He has good people.

01:25:48.280 He's just out of it.

01:25:49.960 He didn't know Rogan was a popular podcast.

01:25:52.240 He's like, he's like out of it.

01:25:54.060 He's checked out.

01:25:54.880 Do you think going back to like the, the fame and the, that like it's, yeah, there's

01:25:59.460 something different about like Hollywood fame and about fame, popularity from YouTube.

01:26:03.400 It's almost like they're two different things a little bit.

01:26:05.160 For sure.

01:26:05.540 Yeah, for sure.

01:26:06.360 Yeah.

01:26:06.940 YouTube is weird because the drug that you get from, from getting views and likes and

01:26:14.000 subscribers and followers is it reaffirms everything that you're doing.

01:26:19.100 And so, you know, whether you're on the right path or not, you're going to keep doing the

01:26:23.660 same shit as long as people are following.

01:26:25.660 Whereas Hollywood, technically you're employed, you know?

01:26:29.060 So take Tom Holland, for example, before he became Spider-Man, there was a team around

01:26:36.520 him watching everything he did, monitoring every move that he'd made just to make sure

01:26:42.880 he didn't have any missteps.

01:26:44.220 Because, because now he's in the Marvel universe and you can't, you cannot fuck up.

01:26:47.520 Right.

01:26:47.660 Right.

01:26:47.840 You have to be, yeah, you have to be pristine.

01:26:49.420 You can't at that point probably have opinions.

01:26:51.680 Yeah, for sure.

01:26:52.160 Yeah.

01:26:52.800 You can't, you know, you can't have any opinions.

01:26:54.080 Your opinions have to be very like bland.

01:26:55.980 They have to be like, climate change is bad.

01:26:58.680 Yeah.

01:26:58.820 And they shove you in a limo.

01:27:00.120 Ham and cheese.

01:27:01.320 Yeah.

01:27:01.840 Peanut butter.

01:27:02.500 You kids should be able to breathe.

01:27:04.600 Good night.

01:27:05.400 And you're like, okay, this guy is great.

01:27:07.920 But it's got, that kind of stuff feels like it's gotten so cornered that it's just like,

01:27:11.740 it can't survive anyway.

01:27:13.140 I feel like people want, there's some people that still watch it.

01:27:16.100 Trump ruined that because Trump came out and he said whatever the hell he wanted.

01:27:19.420 And there was something paradigm shifting about that.

01:27:21.480 It was intoxicating.

01:27:22.380 You were watching him and you're like, here's a guy saying whatever he wants on the national

01:27:25.720 stage in front of everybody.

01:27:27.280 How can we go back to scripted fake crap?

01:27:29.940 How can you go back to an interview show where a host is like, so what are you doing?

01:27:33.580 And the celebrity is like, well, I'm, the host is like, tell us about that time when

01:27:38.540 you were in a school play and you fell down.

01:27:40.400 It's like, no, talk about something real because the president is going off the dome.

01:27:45.000 So you need to do that too.

01:27:47.000 Yeah.

01:27:47.440 Yeah.

01:27:47.640 It almost has challenged entertainment in a way.

01:27:50.580 And I think entertainment hasn't really respond, like mainstream entertainment hasn't

01:27:53.700 really responded that well.

01:27:55.480 Cause they just seem to keep playing some of the same old fucking, like, I don't know.

01:28:00.680 Yeah.

01:28:00.820 They're doubling down.

01:28:01.600 They're remaking old shows.

01:28:03.240 Comedy Central is like, we're remaking Bonanza.

01:28:05.340 It's like, this is not the move guys.

01:28:07.840 It's not the move, you know?

01:28:10.400 Um, yeah, it's hard because he can do something in his house that gets more views and, and,

01:28:16.700 and more attention and more engagement than, than things that they're putting millions and

01:28:20.300 millions of dollars into.

01:28:21.160 It's weird as fuck.

01:28:21.600 It must terrify them, dude.

01:28:23.220 It's gotta be terrifying.

01:28:24.280 To them.

01:28:24.820 Yeah.

01:28:25.100 To them.

01:28:25.680 But then also there's a, but yeah, there's a relatability.

01:28:28.600 Like, I like the fact that people that come out to my shows and stuff, they, I feel like

01:28:32.780 I, they're the type of people that I would like to meet anyway, probably be okay with

01:28:36.880 meeting because they tune in for some reason because they are into the same kind of stuff

01:28:42.340 I'm in or, or think.

01:28:43.420 It's a much better connection, man.

01:28:45.000 Yeah.

01:28:45.600 Much deep.

01:28:46.260 You have a much deeper connection with your fans.

01:28:48.000 Yeah, true.

01:28:48.300 Than, uh, movie star does.

01:28:49.940 Except for that black guy from Britain, dude.

01:28:51.660 What's that guy's name?

01:28:52.540 A KR1?

01:28:53.420 Fuck.

01:28:53.780 KR1?

01:28:54.720 Yeah, fuck.

01:28:55.620 Yeah, fuck this fucking guy.

01:28:57.000 Jesus Christ, dude.

01:28:57.880 That's gonna be a crazy, so Staples Center, what date?

01:29:00.700 November 9th.

01:29:01.380 Can you jump off the ropes or it's only punching?

01:29:03.200 I can do whatever I want.

01:29:04.340 Yeah.

01:29:04.720 I can do whatever I want.

01:29:05.760 He hit me after the bell last time.

01:29:07.580 Did he?

01:29:07.860 Oh, I'm gonna get fucking dirty.

01:29:09.000 Oh, get a louder bell, too.

01:29:11.160 Get a louder bell.

01:29:12.000 Get a louder bell just so everybody's, yeah, cause he might've been confused.

01:29:15.300 He was probably watching Power.

01:29:17.200 He got confused.

01:29:18.120 Oh, yeah, definitely.

01:29:19.220 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:29:20.020 Um, Nick, you got anything?

01:29:21.840 That's it for me.

01:29:23.000 Yeah.

01:29:23.400 Check out Tim's podcast.

01:29:24.960 Yeah.

01:29:25.380 Tim Dillon Show.

01:29:26.420 Thanks.

01:29:26.920 So funny, Tim.

01:29:27.780 Thanks for coming in.

01:29:28.660 Thanks for having me, dude.

01:29:29.620 Yeah.

01:29:29.800 I appreciate it.

01:29:30.280 Good to meet you.

01:29:30.820 Yeah, you're locked, dude.

01:29:31.840 Good luck with the fight, man.

01:29:32.740 Thank you, guys.

01:29:33.180 I know you were sick, man.

01:29:34.180 And dude, I'll fight somebody sometime.

01:29:35.600 Maybe not on this undercard, but a future one.

01:29:37.360 Yeah, you could do it.

01:29:38.240 Yeah, I want to train and fight someone now.

01:29:40.480 I feel like we all need to fight people.

01:29:42.800 I really believe that's the only way to really, that's it.

01:29:45.860 I love it.

01:29:46.380 I think it's a good idea.

01:29:47.700 Mr. Training, who should I fight, you think?

01:29:49.940 Chris.

01:29:50.600 Chris D'Elia?

01:29:51.180 Yeah.

01:29:51.560 Maybe Chris.

01:29:52.280 I could fight.

01:29:52.900 I could be Chris D'Elia if I'm allowed to jump up and also punch at the same time.

01:29:56.600 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:29:56.820 You'll be allowed, dude.

01:29:57.540 Oh, yeah, yeah.

01:29:57.840 Superman punch.

01:29:58.420 Do MMA.

01:29:59.260 I'll do some different stuff.

01:30:00.100 Yeah, you'll be good.

01:30:00.360 Yeah, you'll be good.

01:30:00.660 You're allowed, dude.

01:30:02.340 And you could fight somebody, too.

01:30:03.600 Dorothy.

01:30:03.960 I know this lady.

01:30:05.260 I'll fuck her up.

01:30:06.860 I don't know, dude.

01:30:07.880 I'll take some pictures of her as soon as we get off it.

01:30:09.620 I'll fight that.

01:30:10.280 Who's the guy?

01:30:12.120 The guy?

01:30:12.620 Frederick Douglass.

01:30:13.440 Cryptaddy.

01:30:14.000 He's in a wheelchair on Twitter.

01:30:15.300 I'll fight him.

01:30:15.880 I like him.

01:30:16.520 He's very funny, Cryptaddy.

01:30:17.720 Is he?

01:30:18.140 Yeah, he's great.

01:30:18.800 I'll fight him.

01:30:19.360 All right.

01:30:20.480 Here you go.

01:30:21.880 All right.

01:30:22.340 Now I'm just floating on the breeze, and I feel I'm falling like these leaves.

01:30:28.800 I must be cornerstone.

01:30:33.920 Oh, but when I reach that ground, I'll share this peace of mind I found.

01:30:39.400 I can feel it in my bones But it's gonna take a little time

01:30:48.580 For me to set that parking brake And let myself unwind

01:30:55.220 Shine that light on me I'll sit and tell you my stories

01:31:04.880 Shine on me And I will find a song

01:31:14.100 I will sing it just for you

01:31:17.780 And now I've been moving way too fast On the runaway train

01:31:26.440 With a heavy load of my hand

01:31:29.540 Ladies and gentlemen, I'm Jonathan Kite And welcome to Kite Club

01:31:35.300 A podcast where I'll be sharing thoughts on things like current events

01:31:38.980 Stand-up stories And seven ways to pleasure your partner

01:31:42.520 The answer may shock you

01:31:44.420 Sometimes I'll interview my friends

01:31:46.440 Sometimes I won't

01:31:47.760 And as always, I'll be joined by the voices in my head

01:31:51.260 You have three new voice messages

01:31:54.140 A lot of people are talking about Kite Club

01:31:57.140 I've been talking about Kite Club for so long

01:31:59.940 Longer than anybody else

01:32:01.580 So great

01:32:02.360 Hi, sweet are

01:32:04.320 Easy deal

01:32:05.400 Anyone who doesn't listen to Kite Club

01:32:07.860 Is a dodgy bloody wanker

01:32:09.920 Jermaine

01:32:10.620 Hi, I'll take a quarter pounder with cheese

01:32:13.900 And a McFlurry

01:32:14.920 Sorry, sir, but our ice cream machine is broken

01:32:16.780 I think Tom Hanks just butt-dialed me

01:32:21.740 Anyway, first rule of Kite Club is

01:32:24.160 Tell everyone about Kite Club

01:32:25.860 Second rule of Kite Club is

01:32:27.800 Tell everyone about Kite Club

01:32:30.060 Third rule

01:32:30.840 Like and subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts

01:32:33.700 Or watch us on YouTube, yeah?

01:32:36.080 And yes, don't worry

01:32:37.120 My Brad Pitt impression will get better

This Past Weekend with Theo Von - September 05, 2019

Tim Dillon and Logan Paul ｜ This Past Weekend #228

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