This Past Weekend with Theo Von - September 05, 2019


Tim Dillon and Logan Paul ｜ This Past Weekend #228


Episode Stats


Length

1 hour and 32 minutes

Words per minute

222.86461

Word count

20,649

Sentence count

2,778

Harmful content

Misogyny

80

sentences flagged

Toxicity

677

sentences flagged

Hate speech

100

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode, the brother and sister duo of the sit down and reminisce about growing up in the 70's and 80's. They talk about their early days of growing up on the streets of New Orleans and how they got their start in the entertainment industry.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 You strike me as a person who found it offensive.
00:00:02.300 No, I mean, me and my friends played with dead people, alive people, people who were
00:00:06.660 in the middle, but we just didn't, we couldn't get, you know, we just couldn't get any, we
00:00:11.180 couldn't monetize it because we were, we were from the generation that can't monetize the
00:00:16.320 sociopathy, but.
00:00:17.580 Are you training, man?
00:00:40.100 Yeah, man, I am.
00:00:42.040 Honestly, man, your face looks leaner than the last time I saw you.
00:00:46.040 I lost five pounds, dude.
00:00:48.120 I got a sinus infection, though.
00:00:49.740 Not a good five pound loss, though.
00:00:51.300 I got a sinus, can you hear my nose?
00:00:53.700 I'm like congested.
00:00:54.620 A sinus infection will make you lose five pounds?
00:00:56.420 Yeah.
00:00:56.680 I've been sick for weeks, literally nothing.
00:00:59.280 You've been sick?
00:00:59.980 Well, no, I've said I've been, I've had sinus infections.
00:01:02.200 I've never lost any weight.
00:01:03.180 I have no appetite.
00:01:04.220 Wow.
00:01:04.780 You don't look 100% well, honestly.
00:01:07.560 Well, it's the keto, you know, I'm transforming into something else.
00:01:11.040 Yeah.
00:01:11.420 Takes a while.
00:01:12.160 What are you transforming into?
00:01:13.260 The next person I'll be.
00:01:14.340 I don't know.
00:01:16.240 That remains to be seen.
00:01:17.660 I hope it's a cop.
00:01:18.540 I don't know.
00:01:19.020 It could be.
00:01:19.500 Somebody who sells insurance.
00:01:20.700 I hope his name's Garrett.
00:01:21.760 Yeah.
00:01:22.120 I hope so, too.
00:01:23.660 I hope so, too.
00:01:25.520 Garrett, bro.
00:01:26.860 Dude, first of all, honestly, number one name that I cannot, it's just built into my system
00:01:32.340 somehow.
00:01:32.740 I can't react well with it.
00:01:33.920 People named Terry.
00:01:35.480 Yeah.
00:01:35.940 And especially if it's a man.
00:01:37.080 I was going to say, I can get away with the female Terrys. 1.00
00:01:40.500 Guy Terrys, I don't know.
00:01:41.520 Not so much.
00:01:42.820 Yeah.
00:01:43.360 It's just like.
00:01:44.360 It's a name you give a kid when you want them to have a hard life.
00:01:47.200 Yeah.
00:01:47.660 Yeah.
00:01:48.040 Terry.
00:01:48.460 Little Terry.
00:01:49.180 Ooh.
00:01:49.580 Yeah.
00:01:50.160 We had a little guy named Terry by us, this little black fella, and he would always drink 1.00
00:01:53.320 milk at the park, dude.
00:01:54.240 And you had no idea how he got it.
00:01:55.580 And he was always there, dude.
00:01:56.640 How's he doing now?
00:01:57.780 I've never seen him.
00:01:58.620 Yeah, that's a great question.
00:02:00.240 That's something to be said, right?
00:02:01.060 Yeah, this is 26 years ago, dude.
00:02:02.640 And we're always like, where are your parents, you know?
00:02:04.260 And he didn't even know.
00:02:05.400 No.
00:02:05.920 Yeah.
00:02:06.220 It's almost like he was just born in a birdbath or something.
00:02:09.780 But who knows, man?
00:02:10.860 New Orleans legend.
00:02:12.240 What are you training for?
00:02:13.280 Are you actually training for this fight?
00:02:15.360 I know you just did a fight, Logan.
00:02:17.480 Yeah.
00:02:17.800 I had a fight last year, August 25th.
00:02:19.500 And then, yeah, another one this year, November 9th.
00:02:22.240 Same kid.
00:02:22.860 It's the rematch.
00:02:23.580 Okay.
00:02:23.860 Round two.
00:02:24.380 So professional fight, no headgear, staple center.
00:02:27.640 It's going to be sick, man.
00:02:28.600 And you guys think you'll sell it out?
00:02:30.000 I think so.
00:02:30.760 Wow.
00:02:31.080 I think so.
00:02:31.780 That's crazy.
00:02:33.000 It's a big fight.
00:02:33.680 The whole undercard is professional fights.
00:02:35.740 Yeah.
00:02:36.060 It's like your first professional fight.
00:02:38.880 Yeah.
00:02:39.220 Oh, really?
00:02:39.820 Yeah, I'm undefeated.
00:02:40.600 I'm undefeated so far.
00:02:41.980 I'm 0-1, bro. 1.00
00:02:43.040 And you probably beat your brother's ass for years, too, didn't you? 0.99
00:02:45.800 We stopped because we both got... 1.00
00:02:47.480 Have you met him?
00:02:48.160 Yeah, I met him.
00:02:48.780 He's big, dude.
00:02:49.680 The kid's a thick little Oreo.
00:02:51.520 Yeah.
00:02:51.760 Yeah, so we had to stop fighting because we destroy everything.
00:02:56.940 Yeah.
00:02:57.260 You know, in the house.
00:02:58.060 Right.
00:02:58.380 When both the brothers get so big that they'll destroy everything in the house.
00:03:02.100 Yeah, chairs, tables, glass.
00:03:03.760 So we stopped.
00:03:04.620 So it's been a minute since I was...
00:03:05.660 And he's got a little bit of Flintstone in him, too, a little more than...
00:03:08.000 He really does, man.
00:03:09.220 You know, he's got that, I noticed.
00:03:10.560 And I couldn't tell if he was like 19 or like 38.
00:03:14.760 You know what I'm saying?
00:03:15.060 Yeah, he could go either way.
00:03:15.920 Yeah.
00:03:16.400 The hair doesn't give it away.
00:03:17.760 Well, I mean, it's just kind of like...
00:03:19.460 Just like the high and tight for years now.
00:03:21.440 But I think he...
00:03:22.220 I don't know what it was.
00:03:23.220 He just has...
00:03:23.940 He reminds me of every guy who owns like a nice boat in Florida.
00:03:26.800 That's what he reminded me of.
00:03:27.400 Yeah.
00:03:27.820 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:03:28.600 Wasn't there a thing where he was going to fight someone, too?
00:03:30.780 You were going to do it?
00:03:31.600 And then wasn't your dad going to fight somebody?
00:03:33.320 So we... 1.00
00:03:34.160 Oh, fuck yeah, dude. 1.00
00:03:34.740 Yeah. 1.00
00:03:35.160 Dude, the whole family was going to fight. 0.99
00:03:37.080 Dude, I hope your dad fights that older black guy. 1.00
00:03:39.380 He's like a... 0.98
00:03:40.540 He's a politician, but he's like from...
00:03:42.680 He can't even talk.
00:03:43.540 And everybody's like, he's the best.
00:03:44.760 And he's like...
00:03:45.600 Yeah, that's exactly who his dad was going to fight.
00:03:49.080 It's a good guess.
00:03:49.980 I want my dad to fight Jussie Smollett.
00:03:52.160 I think that'd be a good fight.
00:03:53.080 That would be great.
00:03:54.040 You know what I'm saying?
00:03:54.520 That would be great.
00:03:55.240 Me and GP and Jussie Smollett just...
00:03:57.660 Dude, that would be...
00:03:58.100 Throwing hands.
00:03:59.040 Phenomenal.
00:03:59.500 Yeah.
00:04:01.080 Your dad would probably take care of that man. 0.76
00:04:02.940 He would beat that man up.
00:04:03.680 I mean, dude... 0.88
00:04:04.460 Who knows?
00:04:05.160 Go on his Instagram.
00:04:06.160 You'll see all this man does is chop wood and tie tomahawks to his motorcycle.
00:04:10.720 Yeah.
00:04:11.260 Jussie Smollett?
00:04:12.200 No, not Jussie Smollett.
00:04:14.220 Not my dad.
00:04:15.220 He flips tires, he chops wood, and he ties tomahawks to his BMW motorcycle. 1.00
00:04:18.020 Here's the thing, though, if Jussie Smollett beat your dad, you'd have to kill your father. 0.99
00:04:22.040 Oh, yeah. 1.00
00:04:22.680 Oh, yeah.
00:04:23.220 Like, you couldn't ever look at your father.
00:04:24.500 No, I know that.
00:04:25.440 It couldn't...
00:04:25.980 You know, there's no...
00:04:26.920 Christmas is over.
00:04:28.360 Everything's done.
00:04:28.880 Yeah.
00:04:29.040 Yeah.
00:04:29.360 If Jussie wins.
00:04:30.840 Yeah, that's wild.
00:04:31.860 It's that Jussie Smollett.
00:04:33.660 I can't believe if he fought your dad.
00:04:37.060 Yeah, I think...
00:04:38.200 Well, like, historically, he's not so good at defending himself, right?
00:04:41.440 Right, that's true.
00:04:42.440 Right, yeah.
00:04:43.220 Oh, yeah, your dad would...
00:04:44.120 I think you're...
00:04:44.620 Honestly, dude, I have no idea what your dad even looked like, and I think he would beat
00:04:49.000 him.
00:04:49.100 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:04:49.480 Yeah, I agree.
00:04:50.900 Yeah.
00:04:51.120 But a lot of...
00:04:51.940 I'm afraid of his dad.
00:04:53.200 I don't know his dad, but I'm afraid.
00:04:54.460 Most people are, dude.
00:04:55.500 I'm afraid... 0.99
00:04:56.000 A guy that would raise you and your brother, I think, has got to be insane. 0.87
00:04:58.500 That's a good point. 0.96
00:04:59.380 And who will kill someone, you know?
00:05:00.500 And I appreciate that.
00:05:01.320 It's definitely a property owner.
00:05:02.680 Yeah, it's a real deal guy.
00:05:04.260 Oh, yeah.
00:05:04.640 Yes.
00:05:05.080 You know?
00:05:05.880 It's a real deal guy.
00:05:06.960 That's not a guy...
00:05:08.120 That's not a music teacher that didn't bring up these two boys.
00:05:10.500 You know what I mean?
00:05:11.820 This is a guy that, like, smacked you around a little bit, made you go out and light the
00:05:15.740 world on fire.
00:05:16.520 Yeah, this ain't a guy that owns a bunch of cologne.
00:05:18.680 No, no.
00:05:19.460 This guy's not...
00:05:20.860 There was...
00:05:21.200 No.
00:05:21.560 He didn't read poetry before dinner, you know?
00:05:23.900 This was a guy that got into it, you know?
00:05:26.060 Yeah, this guy who...
00:05:27.200 And mom is probably also somewhat taught, right?
00:05:29.520 No, mom's a sweetheart. 0.99
00:05:30.520 Oh, mom's sweet. 0.98
00:05:31.220 Mom's the exact opposite.
00:05:32.160 So mom goes the other way.
00:05:33.180 She's like a sweet... 0.99
00:05:34.100 Okay, yeah.
00:05:34.560 And if you even look at his mom, you hear an oven door opening.
00:05:37.200 Oh, yeah.
00:05:37.420 Because they also could have been raised by, like, a Long Island mom.
00:05:41.180 That's... 1.00
00:05:41.460 I could also see that, like, a tough Long Island bitch. 1.00
00:05:44.480 Sweetheart. 1.00
00:05:44.920 Sweetheart.
00:05:45.340 Oh, yeah.
00:05:45.900 And you guys are from where?
00:05:46.700 Ohio?
00:05:47.060 Ohio.
00:05:47.500 Yeah.
00:05:48.860 Middle Ohio.
00:05:49.740 Did you guys...
00:05:50.440 Were you friends with Roman Atwood?
00:05:52.360 I was.
00:05:52.880 I am.
00:05:53.480 Oh, nice.
00:05:53.820 Yeah, I still am.
00:05:54.460 Yeah, Roman's... 1.00
00:05:55.120 Have you met him?
00:05:55.680 Yeah.
00:05:56.160 Roman's awesome.
00:05:56.740 Yeah, super cool guy.
00:05:57.680 Down to earth.
00:05:58.220 He's a special dude, man.
00:05:59.220 He's really cool.
00:05:59.840 Dude, actually, speaking of fight, they had a thing when I was young called, and this
00:06:05.100 is, you know, fag fist fights was a thing, and it would come to colleges when I was in 0.99
00:06:10.000 college, and it would be two gay men and this lesbian lady, and you'd go watch them, 0.99
00:06:14.860 and they would fist fight. 0.94
00:06:15.920 See, college used to be so much fun.
00:06:17.460 Yeah. 0.99
00:06:17.980 You know, before now, all this PC shit now, everything's soft. 0.95
00:06:21.400 Yeah. 0.98
00:06:21.600 That used to be great.
00:06:22.640 Imagine trying to do that now. 0.99
00:06:24.120 It's called fag fighting, and we have two gay guys, and it's to first blood, so the first 0.99
00:06:30.060 AIDS blood splatter, we're done. 0.99
00:06:32.840 Then we're done with the fight.
00:06:34.280 That would be rough now, to get away with.
00:06:36.380 Yo, yo, I'm going to get canceled just from being on this fight.
00:06:38.820 Yeah, yeah, you will be canceled.
00:06:39.900 That's what we're trying to do.
00:06:40.820 Watch me say no words, and I'm the one that gets out.
00:06:43.400 Well, you can't be canceled.
00:06:44.240 You're above cancellation.
00:06:45.460 So, apparently, it doesn't exist.
00:06:47.260 Cancellation, it doesn't exist anymore.
00:06:48.340 It's over.
00:06:48.680 Yeah, it's over.
00:06:49.460 Well, here's the thing, though.
00:06:50.340 That's the thing.
00:06:50.800 They've been trying to cancel Trump.
00:06:52.340 Yeah.
00:06:53.440 They never will.
00:06:54.080 How'd that work out for you?
00:06:55.440 He's about to get picked up for four more years.
00:06:57.200 Four more seasons.
00:06:59.440 But isn't it crazy when you think, like, the president was a reality, I mean, also, he
00:07:05.000 was a businessman, right?
00:07:06.260 And a shady businessman, I think. 0.98
00:07:07.740 Like, I'm not anti-Trump like a lot of crazy people are. 1.00
00:07:10.680 Like, I don't give a fuck. 1.00
00:07:11.800 You know, I live my life. 0.98
00:07:13.140 I don't, the government doesn't determine every, you know.
00:07:16.380 But he's a reality star.
00:07:18.120 Cardi B was a reality star.
00:07:19.500 Cardi B could be president.
00:07:20.360 And she's, like, the biggest pop sensation.
00:07:22.720 It's just, it's all starting to kind of blend together.
00:07:25.320 Yeah, I think a Kardashian will be the governor of California.
00:07:27.980 I'm not even kidding, though.
00:07:29.180 I mean, I think, you see what Kim is doing right now with the prison reform and stuff. 0.88
00:07:33.740 I think it's going in that direction.
00:07:35.020 And I gotta be honest with you, I don't, I'm not mad at it.
00:07:38.120 Yeah.
00:07:38.480 I'm ready for the new world. 0.70
00:07:40.540 You know who'd be a sick governor is Kris, Kris Jenner. 0.84
00:07:42.700 Yeah. 1.00
00:07:43.140 She a bad bitch. 1.00
00:07:44.220 He's got 50 years left on the planet. 1.00
00:07:46.380 Why not have fun?
00:07:47.360 Yeah, yeah.
00:07:47.920 Why not have the whole lot of fun?
00:07:49.160 Oh, wait, hold up.
00:07:49.840 50?
00:07:50.120 That's it?
00:07:51.080 Probably.
00:07:51.540 It's going to get rough after 50.
00:07:54.120 Yeah, it's going to get hot.
00:07:55.460 We're saying literally, we're saying literally Kris Jenner is a good option.
00:07:59.040 And I agree with you.
00:07:59.940 Yeah.
00:08:00.120 It's going to get rough.
00:08:01.580 For Christmas, people are going to be getting shields.
00:08:04.240 Yeah, it's going to be tough.
00:08:05.140 I mean, there's a lot of tents.
00:08:06.660 Yeah.
00:08:06.880 There's a lot of tents.
00:08:07.660 There's a lot of tents, yeah.
00:08:08.440 You know?
00:08:08.840 But also, I think, in California, like, you go to the rest of America, everybody's really
00:08:12.300 kind of just enjoying, you know, things are going pretty cool.
00:08:14.980 I feel like out here, there's this spider web, like, everything's falling apart.
00:08:19.520 Right. 0.95
00:08:20.000 Like, yeah, you do a fist fighting like that, a gay fist fighting at bars. 1.00
00:08:24.300 Dude, when I'm from, people would go see it, have a blast.
00:08:27.400 Yahoo would make an article about it. 1.00
00:08:29.200 But nobody really fucking, I don't think, is watching that shit anymore. 1.00
00:08:33.520 Certainly not Yahoo. 1.00
00:08:34.460 Or reading.
00:08:35.380 Yes.
00:08:35.960 But I don't think anybody's even reading these websites.
00:08:38.200 Do you feel like-
00:08:39.320 Nobody cares.
00:08:40.180 The mainstream stuff?
00:08:41.180 Nobody cared about Chappelle, whether there's three people are mad at Chappelle's, and then
00:08:44.280 everybody's debating it.
00:08:45.220 It's like, no, nobody cared.
00:08:46.220 No, it's the, yeah, the minority becomes the majority, somehow.
00:08:48.660 Yeah.
00:08:49.140 Somehow, because of, like, the amplification of social media. 1.00
00:08:51.680 Yeah, it sucks.
00:08:52.500 But I don't think it's, do you feel like it's that effect? 0.97
00:08:54.680 I feel like it really kind of falls on deaf ears.
00:08:57.860 It's like-
00:08:58.540 I think it's the worst thing now is if people aren't mad at you.
00:09:00.840 Right.
00:09:01.200 Like, the worst thing now is if people, if you're not controversial, it's almost like
00:09:04.760 you're done.
00:09:05.340 The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference.
00:09:08.640 Yeah, which is-
00:09:09.280 Is it?
00:09:09.800 That's a great quote.
00:09:10.740 Apathy.
00:09:11.180 Apathy, dude. 0.98
00:09:11.780 Like, yo, imagine, like, truly, no one gave a fuck about you. 0.83
00:09:15.240 A hundred percent. 0.62
00:09:16.020 At least you make them feel something.
00:09:17.580 Right.
00:09:17.920 If they don't like you.
00:09:18.040 I try to get attention all the time.
00:09:19.520 I tweet everything.
00:09:20.440 I just tweet out.
00:09:21.300 Are you that?
00:09:22.000 Well, I mean, I try to tweet out things hoping to, you know, to get something and no one
00:09:26.320 cares.
00:09:26.680 Everyone's like, yeah, that's okay.
00:09:27.760 You ever rile anyone up?
00:09:29.060 Sometimes people get mad.
00:09:30.000 People are caring more now, though.
00:09:31.220 I think people are caring more now.
00:09:31.820 Your career's getting bigger now.
00:09:32.460 Yeah, it's been better now.
00:09:33.860 Last six months.
00:09:34.980 Yeah. 1.00
00:09:35.140 You know, I had to really turn it up, you know, say Meghan McCain fucked her dad. 0.99
00:09:38.620 I had to take it to the next level. 0.99
00:09:39.920 Oh, yeah.
00:09:40.500 Yeah.
00:09:40.700 And then people were like, oh, okay.
00:09:42.140 We'll listen to this.
00:09:42.900 Incest will get people to move. 1.00
00:09:44.140 Yeah. 0.99
00:09:44.400 I had to say she had sex with her father's corpse and then people were like, oh, okay. 0.99
00:09:48.560 But here's the thing about incest, dude. 0.97
00:09:50.660 Everybody's like, oh, no, no.
00:09:52.160 Right?
00:09:52.520 Yeah.
00:09:52.880 But what I'm thinking about is, dude, back in the day, you didn't have, the only people
00:09:58.220 that lived around you were kind of family or somebody that was, you know.
00:10:01.520 Yeah.
00:10:01.820 Close.
00:10:02.180 And you didn't have, everyone didn't have a bicycle or like if you had a bicycle, then 1.00
00:10:06.260 yeah, maybe you'd fuck somebody that wasn't distantly related to you. 1.00
00:10:09.320 Yeah. 1.00
00:10:09.540 But if you didn't, you could only have sex with as far as you could walk or as far as 0.86
00:10:13.240 you could, you know, so you would, people would have sex more locally. 0.87
00:10:16.680 Yeah.
00:10:16.780 You didn't have a choice.
00:10:17.380 I think that still goes on.
00:10:18.660 I think that's still probably happening.
00:10:20.160 Oh, yeah.
00:10:20.440 There's some areas and stuff you go and you're like, oh, everybody's not a... 0.51
00:10:23.260 I think people are using that exact rationale too when they're in court.
00:10:26.320 They're like, listen, I have sex as far as I walk. 0.75
00:10:29.460 And then there's a judge going, okay. 0.96
00:10:31.640 Sounds great.
00:10:32.320 Yeah.
00:10:32.600 Yeah.
00:10:33.700 I only have one bike.
00:10:35.460 Yeah.
00:10:36.160 I can't get anywhere.
00:10:37.320 We don't have Uber.
00:10:38.360 Yeah.
00:10:38.780 I got a skateboard.
00:10:39.820 I got a skateboard.
00:10:41.180 But I just think back in the day and then at a certain point, they're like, look, you got
00:10:44.340 to get some exercise.
00:10:45.280 You're going to have to...
00:10:45.900 You have to walk.
00:10:46.540 Well, not because of Uber, because of birds.
00:10:48.760 I don't want to hear any excuses about you not being able to travel five plus miles.
00:10:53.260 I got birds in line, scooters lying around every corner.
00:10:56.060 Yeah. 1.00
00:10:56.140 You should be able to fuck not your siblings. 1.00
00:10:59.380 Yeah. 1.00
00:10:59.880 Or not like...
00:11:01.060 Yeah.
00:11:01.140 Unless you want to.
00:11:02.020 I feel like that's a whole nother problem.
00:11:05.520 That's a whole nother problem.
00:11:06.300 Yeah.
00:11:06.520 But it shouldn't be transportation.
00:11:07.580 I would never want to, man.
00:11:08.620 I thought maybe my sister was cute for like six months, you know?
00:11:13.080 But...
00:11:13.120 It's a while.
00:11:13.960 We were both children.
00:11:15.300 Yeah.
00:11:15.400 It's a decent amount of time.
00:11:16.320 What age were you?
00:11:17.700 We were kids, man.
00:11:18.700 30.
00:11:19.040 Yeah.
00:11:19.480 No.
00:11:19.820 She was like nine and I think I was like 13 or something.
00:11:22.840 But I didn't think she was like hot or such. 1.00
00:11:24.760 Oh, that's a cute kid that lives at our house, you know?
00:11:26.740 Right.
00:11:27.540 Right.
00:11:27.980 Which is good.
00:11:28.540 That's...
00:11:28.780 But anyway, what about the...
00:11:30.800 So the fight...
00:11:31.560 So this is going to be a real...
00:11:32.780 So will this fight go on to some like W like sanctioned card?
00:11:37.100 Or what is that like?
00:11:37.740 Yeah, man.
00:11:38.020 Yeah.
00:11:38.440 Yeah.
00:11:39.880 Yeah.
00:11:40.300 Wow.
00:11:40.560 It's legit, man.
00:11:41.540 Eddie Hearn's promoting it.
00:11:42.600 He's one of the biggest boxing promoters in the world.
00:11:44.980 It's not the biggest.
00:11:46.120 It's going to be on the DAZN app.
00:11:47.600 Mm-hmm.
00:11:49.100 D-A-Z-N, right? 0.73
00:11:50.340 I think is what it is.
00:11:50.780 Shameless plug.
00:11:51.420 DAZN app.
00:11:52.100 But yeah, bro. 0.97
00:11:52.680 It's going to be fucking crazy. 0.98
00:11:53.620 Going to throw a little one-two. 0.98
00:11:54.960 One-two action.
00:11:55.820 Three-four action.
00:11:56.400 What would be different about this fight than the first one that you did?
00:11:58.580 And I didn't see the first one.
00:11:59.680 I know it was like it had a million streams.
00:12:01.620 I know that.
00:12:02.280 A million streams.
00:12:03.260 Two million pirated, by the way.
00:12:05.140 Crazy.
00:12:05.620 Like lost $20 million in one night.
00:12:07.580 20 million plus in one night.
00:12:09.080 Isn't that crazy? 1.00
00:12:09.880 Fucking sucks, dude. 1.00
00:12:10.960 It sucks. 1.00
00:12:11.180 Yeah. 0.96
00:12:12.300 And were you getting paid on buys and stuff?
00:12:14.320 Or is that...
00:12:14.500 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:12:14.920 We were getting paid on buys.
00:12:15.640 It was no flat fee.
00:12:16.520 Because we did it through YouTube.
00:12:17.780 Right.
00:12:17.900 And now DAZN, we have...
00:12:19.080 DAZN bought the fight.
00:12:20.400 They bought the rights to the fight.
00:12:21.760 The difference this time is like...
00:12:23.220 Yo, last time I went in as a YouTuber who...
00:12:25.400 Who had to learn how to box in like three or four months.
00:12:28.840 Boxing is hard.
00:12:29.900 Boxing is not a sport you can just walk into and rely on your athleticism to make you do well.
00:12:35.160 Which I did.
00:12:36.080 Right.
00:12:36.260 And I did okay.
00:12:37.320 But for the past year, I've been training like pretty rigorously.
00:12:41.660 Yeah.
00:12:41.780 And so this time, I'm actually...
00:12:43.420 I would consider myself a fully vetted boxer.
00:12:46.440 Well, yeah.
00:12:46.760 Because your energy even felt different.
00:12:47.880 Even when you came in here and when I went on Impulsive.
00:12:50.680 Oh, yeah.
00:12:51.240 I was...
00:12:51.900 It just seemed like you had...
00:12:53.380 I was like, oh, wow.
00:12:53.980 This guy looks a little bit leaner, a little more...
00:12:58.360 You just seemed a little bit like more of an athlete, I think, in a way.
00:13:01.880 Oh, really?
00:13:02.200 Oh, for real?
00:13:02.980 Honestly, you had a serious energy.
00:13:04.500 You weren't... 0.77
00:13:04.900 I thought you'd be goofier. 0.97
00:13:06.040 Yes. 0.99
00:13:06.440 I thought you'd walk in with like a goofy energy.
00:13:08.360 Yo, life is all...
00:13:09.240 Like a wild energy.
00:13:10.160 Yeah, for sure.
00:13:10.360 Life's all about phases.
00:13:10.660 I thought you went in and like looked down like Rocky, like you're ready. 0.99
00:13:13.740 I mean, I'm focused right now, but also, boys, I'm fucking sick. 0.98
00:13:17.400 I am on the cusp of death. 0.97
00:13:18.940 Okay.
00:13:19.200 Really?
00:13:19.720 No, like I'm ill right now.
00:13:21.580 You look fine, though.
00:13:22.540 You sure?
00:13:23.040 Because my face feels red in my...
00:13:24.460 But also...
00:13:25.360 Yeah.
00:13:25.820 He's dead.
00:13:26.280 I've been on the...
00:13:26.880 Yeah, I've seen some real corpses, but...
00:13:31.380 He looks good.
00:13:32.940 He seems fine.
00:13:33.800 You wouldn't think he's sick.
00:13:36.240 I mean, I think I would...
00:13:37.700 I've seen...
00:13:38.160 You know, I...
00:13:39.020 People...
00:13:39.560 I think you don't look sick, yeah.
00:13:41.360 I think you look like a guy who maybe...
00:13:43.400 Thanks, man.
00:13:43.700 Right.
00:13:43.960 You know, I think if you didn't sleep for maybe a night or two, you'd look like a guy 0.93
00:13:47.500 who was probably doing a lot of drugs, probably.
00:13:49.240 What's the training regimen?
00:13:50.380 Like, what are you doing every day?
00:13:51.340 I want to get inspired.
00:13:52.200 I want to get a training regimen that I can...
00:13:54.180 Are you working out, by the way, or just...
00:13:55.520 Well, it depends.
00:13:57.460 You tell me what working out is.
00:13:59.080 You tell me what working out is, and then I'll tell you what I'm doing.
00:14:02.000 You mean using a CPAP?
00:14:03.380 Yeah.
00:14:03.760 What do you mean by working out?
00:14:05.240 Do you mean going to the doctor?
00:14:07.920 Yes.
00:14:08.400 But no.
00:14:09.680 So what do you do?
00:14:10.420 What's your regimen?
00:14:11.220 And then I'll tell you my regimen.
00:14:13.000 We train twice a day.
00:14:14.300 Okay.
00:14:14.520 So already I'm not doing that.
00:14:15.700 I don't do that.
00:14:16.480 I don't believe in twice a day.
00:14:17.820 But that's the way you want to do it.
00:14:18.940 It's fine.
00:14:19.280 It's a bit above average.
00:14:20.240 Yeah.
00:14:20.640 Twice a day to me is a little mush.
00:14:22.080 So yeah, you just took the lead.
00:14:24.080 Yeah.
00:14:24.260 You just took the lead.
00:14:25.240 But what about you?
00:14:26.020 I went to some training this morning.
00:14:29.060 I see a trainer now.
00:14:30.580 So three days a week.
00:14:31.580 And I just hired a yoga trainer as well. 1.00
00:14:33.920 Are you fucked with yoga? 1.00
00:14:35.060 So I'm going to do that. 1.00
00:14:35.740 Yeah.
00:14:35.960 A yoga trainer?
00:14:37.920 What is that?
00:14:39.120 Somebody motivates you to do yoga?
00:14:40.680 Basically like a sculptor basically.
00:14:42.140 That's insane.
00:14:42.880 You get into a bad position and they just sculpt you into a better world.
00:14:44.900 Is it just a middle-aged lonely woman who's like, 1.00
00:14:47.180 Theo, it's time.
00:14:48.480 I hope so.
00:14:49.240 It's time, Theo.
00:14:49.780 Oh, you haven't trained with a yoga trainer yet?
00:14:52.000 No, no, no.
00:14:52.360 She's going to come next week.
00:14:53.320 Because they're normally yoga instructors.
00:14:56.100 Yeah.
00:14:56.200 I've never heard of a yoga trainer, like a hype woman, to get you really into it. 1.00
00:14:59.660 Well, dude, if I flip my dog well, she gives me like a little bacon or something. 1.00
00:15:02.620 Oh, yeah.
00:15:03.620 So I think that's the thing.
00:15:04.920 Just make sure you roll out of bed excited.
00:15:07.800 But no, I go, but I just don't do it as much as I used to.
00:15:10.640 But I know that when I do, I feel better.
00:15:12.180 So I'm trying to get it more into my life.
00:15:13.640 Do you meditate?
00:15:14.580 Yeah.
00:15:15.100 I got to start doing that.
00:15:16.620 Hey, where are you from again?
00:15:17.640 I'm from Louisiana.
00:15:18.600 What do your parents think about the meditation?
00:15:21.180 My mother really believes in it.
00:15:22.660 And my father's deceased.
00:15:23.940 So he probably tries to contact me through it, I guess.
00:15:26.880 Yeah.
00:15:27.840 But I don't know.
00:15:28.780 Or he still thinks it's gay.
00:15:30.560 He probably still could.
00:15:31.500 You know, he's like, I still don't support this.
00:15:33.840 Dude, when I was young, a lot of stuff was pretty gay, bro. 0.87
00:15:36.420 You know what I mean?
00:15:37.300 Even Jingle Bells, dude.
00:15:37.940 He's like, what is that? 0.99
00:15:38.740 Are you sitting on a dick, Theo? 1.00
00:15:40.200 He's just upset somewhere in heaven. 1.00
00:15:42.960 He wouldn't think all of that, dude.
00:15:45.000 He was real tall.
00:15:46.120 What is the regimen?
00:15:47.000 I want to hear this.
00:15:48.000 You wake up.
00:15:48.760 Yeah, we wake up.
00:15:49.640 We run.
00:15:50.240 We box.
00:15:50.900 How long do you run?
00:15:51.340 Hold on a second.
00:15:51.900 Hold on, Tim.
00:15:53.300 Who is we?
00:15:54.760 Me and my bro.
00:15:55.980 Oh, so your brother's right there with you the whole time.
00:15:58.100 Sometimes.
00:15:58.400 He wasn't today, but most of the time, yeah.
00:16:00.980 And is that just a commitment you guys made?
00:16:04.220 I think he's going to fight on the undercard.
00:16:05.720 I think he's going to fight on the undercard.
00:16:07.640 And he enjoys boxing just like me.
00:16:09.880 Like, you hired a yoga trainer and a personal trainer.
00:16:13.580 To me, boxing is just as effective workout-wise, and it's a practical skill.
00:16:19.480 Like, I don't like picking up weights.
00:16:20.780 I haven't picked up a weight in two, three years.
00:16:22.380 Because, like, yeah, you look good.
00:16:24.820 You sculpt yourself.
00:16:25.540 You feel good.
00:16:26.180 But boxing, not only does all that happen, but, like, you know, like, let's be honest.
00:16:30.140 But also it's a good skill because you can beat someone's eyes.
00:16:32.440 You might have to attack someone.
00:16:33.480 I mean, who knows?
00:16:34.240 Somebody might say something you don't like.
00:16:35.680 You might have to attack them in a club or a restaurant.
00:16:37.820 I'll never attack.
00:16:38.800 I'll never attack.
00:16:39.220 I'll antagonize.
00:16:40.040 Hey, hey, listen.
00:16:41.160 You know, who knows?
00:16:41.680 Whatever happens, happens.
00:16:42.660 Who knows?
00:16:43.280 It's a good skill to have.
00:16:44.840 Okay, so you and your brother go out there.
00:16:46.560 Do you have a trainer, too, or not?
00:16:48.480 I do, yeah.
00:16:49.180 Okay.
00:16:49.560 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:16:49.720 His name's Milton.
00:16:50.640 Okay.
00:16:51.200 Yeah.
00:16:51.840 And so you guys go out with him, and you guys are doing...
00:16:54.540 We're doing it all, bro.
00:16:54.700 And then you guys hit the ring.
00:16:55.640 Are you hitting the ring?
00:16:56.200 I don't know you have a boxing ring at home.
00:16:57.160 Boxing ring in my backyard.
00:16:58.180 Yeah.
00:16:58.400 You seen it?
00:16:58.760 Wow.
00:16:58.860 I saw that.
00:16:59.600 Seen it?
00:16:59.980 I saw that.
00:17:00.260 So you're hitting that every day.
00:17:01.660 Every day, bro.
00:17:02.120 Wow.
00:17:02.760 So five-mile run?
00:17:03.780 We out here.
00:17:04.240 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:17:04.960 We do about three, three, four right now, but we'll get up to the five miles. 0.99
00:17:07.940 We're two months out, so if you peak now, we're fucked. 0.99
00:17:11.280 Yeah. 0.99
00:17:11.580 You know?
00:17:11.900 Right.
00:17:12.040 You got to train it and get the spurts of exerting yourself.
00:17:16.800 And are you guys blowing a lot of gas? 0.99
00:17:18.760 Each of y'all talking a lot of shit, you and the other guy? 1.00
00:17:21.220 It just got announced. 1.00
00:17:21.960 Dude, it just got announced yesterday.
00:17:23.800 Oh, wow.
00:17:23.960 Yeah.
00:17:24.100 So we haven't really had a chance to do it, man.
00:17:27.440 I wish I could use your wit.
00:17:29.780 I'm going to actually channel you, Theo, because I feel like I'd be able to hurl a lot of good
00:17:34.520 insults.
00:17:35.100 Oh, dude.
00:17:35.620 Do you guys not like each other?
00:17:36.900 Is it like one of those things?
00:17:38.020 No, I hate the kid.
00:17:39.080 Really?
00:17:39.720 Yeah, yeah.
00:17:40.240 And he's a black kid from England. 0.97
00:17:42.740 That's not why I hate him. 0.98
00:17:43.620 No, no, no.
00:17:44.040 I know.
00:17:44.300 I'm not saying that.
00:17:45.100 No, I see what you're doing.
00:17:46.300 Yeah.
00:17:46.780 So you're fighting for the white race. 0.94
00:17:47.940 It's called trickery.
00:17:48.660 I'm going to follow up with this.
00:17:50.000 Okay.
00:17:50.360 But what's his name?
00:17:51.320 He's like the biggest YouTube guy in England, right?
00:17:54.080 Yeah.
00:17:54.880 Oh, he is?
00:17:55.500 Yeah, I think so.
00:17:56.820 Oh, okay.
00:17:57.340 I didn't know.
00:17:57.920 I've never seen him.
00:17:58.580 I know his name's KR1.
00:17:59.980 That's right.
00:18:01.020 Yeah, no one.
00:18:01.600 I mean, I'm going to be honest.
00:18:02.960 If you're in America, like, you don't know who the kid is.
00:18:04.740 We don't.
00:18:05.180 Well, here's the thing.
00:18:05.680 First of all, if we wanted to be in Britain so bad, we'd have stayed over there, dude.
00:18:09.520 That's what I'm saying.
00:18:09.760 That's what I'm saying.
00:18:10.340 Our ancestors made good choices.
00:18:11.740 Here's how bad it was going.
00:18:12.940 When we got into a boat, left there, people were like, where are you going? 0.93
00:18:16.220 We're like, we don't even fucking know, bro.
00:18:19.060 But we're leaving, dude. 0.93
00:18:20.660 We're out.
00:18:21.960 Imagine it being that bad, dude.
00:18:23.860 We're out.
00:18:24.560 It's gone.
00:18:25.280 It's that bad.
00:18:25.840 You don't have enough gas to get there. 0.98
00:18:27.140 And you'd be like, yeah, we'll fucking, we'll see what the Lord wants. 1.00
00:18:29.500 We'll figure it out. 0.99
00:18:30.280 We got this barrel of pepper.
00:18:32.860 That's what we need.
00:18:33.800 We got some spices and we're good to go.
00:18:35.840 Man, those pilgrims are nutty, huh? 0.97
00:18:37.800 So this is, was the first bout here in the U.S. as well?
00:18:41.680 No, it was in Manchester.
00:18:43.600 Oh, nice.
00:18:44.500 Now LA, Staples Center, home field advantage.
00:18:47.180 You got it, dude.
00:18:47.800 That's what I'm saying.
00:18:49.020 Do you feel like the first one, it was a draw?
00:18:52.200 It was a draw.
00:18:52.920 It was a tie, man. 0.98
00:18:53.840 Yeah, it sucked. 0.99
00:18:54.960 Do you feel like it was a tie? 0.98
00:18:56.320 Nah, I feel like I won.
00:18:57.300 He looks like a tough dude.
00:18:58.280 He looks like a guy.
00:18:59.100 He looks like a formidable opponent.
00:19:00.540 Is his picture behind me?
00:19:01.520 Yes.
00:19:01.620 I think so, yeah.
00:19:02.520 Unless that's just another guy. 1.00
00:19:03.880 What the fuck? 1.00
00:19:05.200 I mean, bro. 1.00
00:19:07.000 KS1.
00:19:07.520 Look at his face.
00:19:08.580 How are you going to take that serious?
00:19:11.480 Yeah.
00:19:12.180 If I saw him in an alley, I would take it seriously.
00:19:15.140 You know what I mean?
00:19:16.040 And that's just because if I saw him in an alley, I would be somewhat threatened.
00:19:19.540 But how many men have you met in alleys?
00:19:21.080 A lot.
00:19:21.560 But it's usually a text first, you know?
00:19:25.460 So just from out of nowhere, if I just saw those dreadlocks, it looks like a tarantula.
00:19:30.000 Dude, I think those locks don't have that much dread in them.
00:19:33.440 I think this is the toughest this guy looks.
00:19:35.080 Is this the toughest he looks?
00:19:36.000 It does kind of look like white girl dreadlocks.
00:19:37.300 It does.
00:19:37.740 It looks like, yeah.
00:19:38.760 To me, this is what that picture, the photographer was like, okay, now scrunch your face and look
00:19:43.020 tough.
00:19:43.200 And that's what happened.
00:19:44.280 I've seen tougher black women at a bus stop in Baltimore. 1.00
00:19:46.580 That's what I'm saying.
00:19:47.380 Yeah.
00:19:47.680 Yeah.
00:19:47.820 Absolutely.
00:19:48.300 That's the next fight. 1.00
00:19:49.240 You just fight black women at a bus stop in Baltimore. 0.99
00:19:51.700 Dude, I saw this lady one time. 1.00
00:19:53.560 Sponsored by Popeye's new chicken sandwich.
00:19:56.960 I saw this lady drinking a whole six pack of baby formula at a bus stop in Baltimore. 1.00
00:20:01.740 No.
00:20:02.520 Yeah.
00:20:03.560 There's got to be some sort of nutritional benefits that we don't know about.
00:20:06.420 But where's the baby dog?
00:20:08.260 I don't know, man.
00:20:09.260 That's crazy.
00:20:09.880 But by the way, that makes me think, how good is formula?
00:20:11.900 That's what I'm saying.
00:20:12.500 That's the other thing.
00:20:13.220 Is that just nice?
00:20:13.940 Is that like Nestle quick?
00:20:15.060 Yeah.
00:20:15.340 Yeah.
00:20:15.780 It's potential in the formula.
00:20:17.060 So that's the guy right there.
00:20:18.780 KS1, man.
00:20:20.100 And so do you feel like he's going to be training as hard as you?
00:20:23.360 Do you feel like he's taking it as serious?
00:20:24.860 Oh, yeah.
00:20:25.460 You do.
00:20:25.820 Oh, yeah.
00:20:26.140 This is a huge thing.
00:20:27.660 Man, I'm not going to lie.
00:20:28.640 Man's a dog.
00:20:29.600 Man's a dog.
00:20:30.220 I'll give it to him.
00:20:30.720 Okay.
00:20:30.960 Yeah, man's got heart.
00:20:31.740 He works hard.
00:20:33.080 It's sick.
00:20:33.720 It's sick. 1.00
00:20:34.000 Fuck, I want to fight somebody now. 1.00
00:20:35.180 Do you though? 1.00
00:20:35.800 Because this shit is rigorous, man. 1.00
00:20:38.160 And it's violent. 1.00
00:20:39.100 Yeah. 1.00
00:20:39.220 You know how many times you get hit in the head before you realize, oh, shit, this is 1.00
00:20:45.100 going to have some long-term repercussions. 1.00
00:20:46.800 That's a good point.
00:20:47.340 So you're saying you even noticed that just from that fight?
00:20:49.780 I spell two sometimes.
00:20:51.580 Yeah.
00:20:51.680 Like, oh, U2?
00:20:52.980 I spell it sometimes.
00:20:53.900 T-O-O-O? 0.95
00:20:54.500 T-W-O. 1.00
00:20:55.720 How did you spell it before you got hit?
00:20:57.380 Correctly.
00:20:57.820 T-O-O. 1.00
00:20:58.360 Okay.
00:20:58.720 U2.
00:20:59.660 Right.
00:21:00.380 U2.
00:21:01.180 Two people.
00:21:01.780 Yeah.
00:21:01.800 Like, I notice that. 0.99
00:21:02.840 My text sometimes, I misspell the word, and I'm like, fuck, it's got to be boxing. 1.00
00:21:07.600 Damn. 1.00
00:21:08.000 I'm 24, bro. 0.99
00:21:09.160 I'm going to come back here in six years.
00:21:11.280 Yeah.
00:21:12.040 You're going to be in a wheelchair. 1.00
00:21:13.200 Do you be wheelchair racing?
00:21:14.920 It's called punch drunk.
00:21:16.320 I'll be punch drunk.
00:21:17.500 Yeah.
00:21:18.180 I don't want to be in a wheelchair.
00:21:19.320 And they do have that, man.
00:21:20.260 Yeah, sometimes you see some of these guys, and they're not all there a little bit.
00:21:25.640 Of course.
00:21:26.920 So you're saying you really noticed that just from that bout?
00:21:31.980 I don't know what else it could be from, man.
00:21:33.760 I was in the spelling bee.
00:21:35.480 Like, why am I misspelling simple words?
00:21:37.420 How far did you get in the spelling bee?
00:21:38.600 I was limited the first round.
00:21:40.160 Okay.
00:21:40.580 Hold on.
00:21:41.040 Hold on.
00:21:41.660 So technically, we were all in the spelling bee.
00:21:43.560 We had to do it.
00:21:45.960 You know what word I misspelled?
00:21:47.320 It was kettle.
00:21:48.480 Give it a shot.
00:21:49.240 K-E-T-T-L-E. 1.00
00:21:52.640 Fuck you, bro. 1.00
00:21:53.540 Yeah. 1.00
00:21:54.600 I say E-L.
00:21:56.820 Oh, that's crazy.
00:21:57.460 Well, there was this kid in my grade.
00:21:59.900 I would still rather have your life, but I did spell kettle.
00:22:02.640 You know what I mean?
00:22:03.380 I'd still rather leave as you.
00:22:04.900 If that means anything.
00:22:06.200 Shout out to this girl, bro, named Big Helena, dude. 1.00
00:22:09.020 We had this girl, fifth grade spelling bee.
00:22:10.420 I lost to her girl named Big Helena, who honestly, I'm not joking, Tim.
00:22:13.640 I think you're handsome, but she looked just like you, bro.
00:22:16.040 First of all.
00:22:16.680 She was pregnant.
00:22:17.600 Good for her.
00:22:18.360 Whoa.
00:22:18.920 In fifth grade?
00:22:19.920 No, no.
00:22:20.560 At 10?
00:22:21.100 100% pregnant. 0.92
00:22:22.080 Dude, you grew up in the best place.
00:22:23.460 They checked as much as possible.
00:22:24.580 100% pregnant. 0.92
00:22:25.420 Wow. 1.00
00:22:25.840 And I lost on the word inconvenience, and she won the fucking spelling bee. 1.00
00:22:29.840 Yeah, because she knows all about an inconvenience. 0.99
00:22:32.160 And she knows all about that.
00:22:33.980 And quit school the year after.
00:22:35.280 Yeah, when you give birth to your uncle's baby in sixth grade in Covington, wherever, Louisiana,
00:22:40.580 it's an inconvenience.
00:22:42.080 I mean, yeah, she definitely, so she had insider trading, I think, when it came to it. 0.99
00:22:45.140 Yeah.
00:22:45.460 Yeah, that's not fair.
00:22:46.260 But that's crazy, though, that she beat me. 0.97
00:22:47.760 I remember losing, and this shit hurt me a little bit, but I was a good speller, too, 0.99
00:22:51.240 man. 0.99
00:22:51.520 I was a good speller.
00:22:52.320 Yeah, you said you like words on our podcast.
00:22:54.140 Yeah, yeah.
00:22:54.460 You see, you love words.
00:22:55.260 Yeah.
00:22:55.540 How often do you find yourself just reading the good old dictionary?
00:22:58.060 I got, actually, a really cool rhyming dictionary.
00:23:00.160 A friend of mine gave me, he died, but he gave it to me.
00:23:02.900 Like a dictionary that one word will rhyme with the other word?
00:23:05.880 Yeah, it's like every word that'll rhyme like that, you know.
00:23:08.620 But it was written about maybe 20 years ago, so they don't have a lot of new words in there.
00:23:12.560 But you're not doing hip-hop.
00:23:13.840 Nuh-uh, it's not for hip-hop.
00:23:14.700 Just making your brain think where you could connect stuff that you might not know.
00:23:18.600 That's interesting, yeah.
00:23:20.580 So is there something different you'll do for this second fight?
00:23:23.140 I'm really curious about this, because it's...
00:23:25.220 Yeah.
00:23:25.400 I just can't imagine getting to a beef space in comedy.
00:23:32.600 I would love to see it, though, where it's like...
00:23:34.720 Are there beefs?
00:23:35.340 Are there real...
00:23:35.780 I know there are beefs behind the scenes, but do we have...
00:23:38.100 Are there like public beefs that ever get to the level of...
00:23:40.460 I think Maniscalco and Andrew Dice Clay.
00:23:42.460 Yeah, that was getting wild.
00:23:43.880 Yeah, Dice was talking.
00:23:44.760 Oh, that'd be cool.
00:23:45.420 Yeah.
00:23:45.860 That'd be cool.
00:23:46.320 It'd be great to see that fight. 0.98
00:23:47.700 I'm trying to think.
00:23:48.460 I think more celebrities should fight.
00:23:50.680 Yeah.
00:23:51.020 Like, how cool is that?
00:23:51.800 But I think it's all starting to merge, man.
00:23:55.040 It's all starting to come together.
00:23:56.860 Like, you know, it's like reality stars are presidents.
00:24:01.780 Are presidents.
00:24:02.600 Yeah.
00:24:02.960 Reality stars are the number one pop star in America, in the world.
00:24:06.560 Yeah.
00:24:07.080 She was on...
00:24:08.300 Love and Hip Hop.
00:24:09.080 Love and Hip Hop.
00:24:09.620 And no disrespect to her at all, but I'm just saying it's like...
00:24:12.280 It's all...
00:24:12.980 It's all merging.
00:24:13.680 Merging into that one very somewhat scary thing.
00:24:16.540 Yeah.
00:24:17.100 So it's like, you could be fighting Vladimir Putin in four years. 0.92
00:24:21.380 I heard that man's a dog, dude. 0.92
00:24:24.460 Oh, yeah.
00:24:24.820 Yo, you know, he rides bears.
00:24:27.300 He does cold plunges.
00:24:28.500 He does a lot of cold plunges.
00:24:29.240 Dude, he's the biggest guy on YouTube in Russia.
00:24:31.640 Yeah.
00:24:31.920 Vladimir Putin.
00:24:32.760 Number one.
00:24:33.400 That's unbelievable.
00:24:34.060 Number one YouTube guy.
00:24:35.100 So, yeah.
00:24:35.520 So if it makes sense that you guys went at it.
00:24:37.340 Yeah.
00:24:38.220 Who knows?
00:24:38.920 You know who I want to fight?
00:24:39.300 Maybe you should just fight the top YouTube star in every country.
00:24:42.320 Ooh. 1.00
00:24:42.540 Like, you go to Pakistan, whoever it is, you fuck them up. 1.00
00:24:45.660 Just whoop their ass. 1.00
00:24:46.300 Yusuf. 1.00
00:24:46.500 That get used to, too.
00:24:47.760 It's probably some chick or whatever. 0.99
00:24:49.360 Who cares? 0.97
00:24:50.140 Smack her. 1.00
00:24:50.840 Move on. 0.99
00:24:51.580 Fight the next person.
00:24:52.640 I want to fight McGregor, dude.
00:24:54.520 Do you?
00:24:54.800 Really? 1.00
00:24:55.420 I want to get my face fucked by McGregor. 1.00
00:24:57.440 You know what I mean? 1.00
00:24:57.800 He would.
00:24:58.120 I bet in two years you could beat him.
00:25:00.680 He's only getting older and his whiskey's only getting shittier.
00:25:03.280 Yeah.
00:25:03.580 And I'm young and spry.
00:25:04.520 And he also, I think, it seemed like he might be on a little bit of that dust.
00:25:07.740 You feel me?
00:25:08.660 Yeah. 0.94
00:25:08.820 That's why he's punching old men. 0.77
00:25:09.980 You see that? 0.85
00:25:10.600 Yeah.
00:25:10.920 Yeah. 1.00
00:25:12.540 Everybody wants to fucking hit an old man, bro. 1.00
00:25:14.100 Everybody wants to hit an elderly person. 1.00
00:25:16.020 Yeah.
00:25:16.280 I've always said that.
00:25:17.340 That's an Irish hello, dude.
00:25:18.700 Walking into a pub, punching a senior citizen.
00:25:21.260 Because they're wise because they think they're not going to get hit. 1.00
00:25:23.500 Elderly people are always popping off, saying shit because you can't hit them. 1.00
00:25:27.680 Taking their teeth out and setting them on the counter, bro. 1.00
00:25:29.940 They know what they're doing.
00:25:31.160 If that ain't a sign of disrespect, I'm going to take part of my body off and set it in front of you.
00:25:34.700 Put it on the table while you're having a sandwich.
00:25:36.620 That's a wrap. 0.95
00:25:37.280 It's disgusting. 0.93
00:25:37.980 They're asking for it. 0.93
00:25:38.980 Yeah.
00:25:39.360 Yeah.
00:25:39.720 I just fear their egos are maybe too big.
00:25:41.900 Their egos are like what it was at 20.
00:25:45.260 Yeah.
00:25:45.520 Right.
00:25:45.820 And then they never escaped it.
00:25:47.120 And then their body doesn't move as fast.
00:25:48.660 Right.
00:25:48.960 Next thing you know, you're getting hit in the head by an MMA train.
00:25:52.040 Absolutely.
00:25:52.440 That's it.
00:25:52.820 Yeah.
00:25:53.140 You're just getting attacked.
00:25:54.760 But yeah, I wonder if in a couple of years you'll have like, if it's all just starting
00:25:59.540 to merge together, like, yeah, you'll be fighting whoever.
00:26:02.180 I love the idea of having you two stars from around the globe fight each other.
00:26:05.940 I think so, too.
00:26:06.660 Like a death match.
00:26:07.560 Yeah.
00:26:07.840 Well, dude, if Trump and Biden are the nominee, like obviously Trump is, but if Biden's the 0.98
00:26:11.900 nominee, they have talked so much shit about fighting each other. 0.97
00:26:16.180 And they're going to be on. 1.00
00:26:17.000 Oh, I did see that.
00:26:17.860 Yeah.
00:26:18.260 So you wonder, they're going to be standing at podiums debating, could this be the first 0.99
00:26:24.460 fucking presidential throwdown? 0.98
00:26:27.380 Did y'all see, did y'all see the Bernie Sanders and Joe Rogan? 1.00
00:26:32.180 Did you guys see that?
00:26:32.920 I did.
00:26:33.400 I did.
00:26:33.840 I did.
00:26:34.120 Yeah.
00:26:34.540 Dude, how crazy.
00:26:35.360 It was like the greatest.
00:26:36.640 I mean, it's just like you learn so much about Bernie in a heartbeat.
00:26:39.840 Yeah.
00:26:40.700 I think it changed.
00:26:41.660 I think it really changed the whole landscape of what podcasts can be now.
00:26:45.480 Yeah. 0.99
00:26:45.660 That one interview for me, I was like, holy shit. 0.98
00:26:48.180 Joe does that a lot, though. 0.99
00:26:49.300 Yeah.
00:26:49.780 But I just never, I don't know, for some reason, that one really landed for me.
00:26:54.180 Yeah.
00:26:54.480 I was like, what?
00:26:55.860 Well, yeah, because Bernie's a guy that you got to listen to for a while.
00:26:59.060 Right.
00:26:59.520 Yeah.
00:27:00.020 And everybody usually is.
00:27:01.960 Right.
00:27:02.320 Unless they're just like some flapjack that's out there just, you know. 0.99
00:27:06.100 Slinging dope little one-liners.
00:27:07.760 Yeah.
00:27:08.080 His Tulsi interview was good, too.
00:27:10.200 Who, Tulsi Gabbard?
00:27:11.300 Yeah, Tulsi Gabbard.
00:27:12.040 Tulsi Gabbard?
00:27:12.580 Tulsi Gabbard came on. 0.97
00:27:13.960 Tulsi Gabbard from Hawaii.
00:27:15.940 She was good.
00:27:16.440 You didn't like it?
00:27:17.040 Not for you?
00:27:17.580 Dude, look, man.
00:27:18.700 She's from Hawaii, so I don't think she should be the president. 1.00
00:27:20.720 Yeah.
00:27:21.120 I say, look, man.
00:27:22.020 Nobody's, well, we're not.
00:27:22.860 Why not?
00:27:23.660 Because Hawaii's a barbecue pit, and we're not going to elect somebody who knows nothing
00:27:27.380 about the world.
00:27:27.860 Wait, but hold up, hold up.
00:27:28.680 She's sitting on the beach.
00:27:29.760 The Rock is from Hawaii, and he talked about being the president.
00:27:32.200 That's true.
00:27:33.140 But I don't think, if you're living in Hawaii, you're escaping.
00:27:37.280 You don't know what to do with Detroit.
00:27:38.960 Yeah.
00:27:39.200 You're living in Hawaii.
00:27:40.020 You're watching surfers all day.
00:27:41.800 Yeah, that's true.
00:27:42.560 Yeah, you don't know what the hell's going on in Chicago.
00:27:45.340 You don't have a clean look.
00:27:46.140 Let's get a question coming in right now from someone.
00:27:48.820 Let's get this hitter.
00:27:49.880 It's Kyrie from Rhode Island, and my question is for Theo, and it's after having both Chris
00:27:54.000 Delia and Logan Paul on the pod.
00:27:55.840 I know there's some beef between the two.
00:27:57.460 Who do you think takes it in a fist fight? 0.95
00:27:59.160 Gang, gang.
00:28:00.060 Do I think there's beef?
00:28:01.680 I think there's probably, you know, soy chorizo.
00:28:07.500 No, I think you would beat him.
00:28:11.260 I think if it's fist fighting, I think that Logan would win.
00:28:14.340 I think if it's tickling somebody from far away with their feet, then Chris would win.
00:28:18.740 Yeah.
00:28:19.260 He's lengthy.
00:28:20.500 Both worthwhile things. 0.99
00:28:21.880 Bro, he can literally, no joke, from right here, fucking put his foot out, bro. 0.99
00:28:25.780 No, no. 1.00
00:28:26.340 Yeah, and fucking- 0.99
00:28:27.260 Wait, but same, dude. 0.99
00:28:28.820 Yeah, I wouldn't give it to Chris.
00:28:30.060 Hold on, dude.
00:28:30.640 I wouldn't give it to Chris right away.
00:28:32.000 Bro, no endangered species on the table, bro.
00:28:34.400 Put that hitter down, dog. 0.97
00:28:35.600 No, no, it's-
00:28:36.480 A grizzly bear was killed to make those two shoes.
00:28:40.520 Two bears, a mother and a father.
00:28:42.900 Him and Jake strangled them both to death, and then made those shoes.
00:28:46.520 Don't come after me.
00:28:47.620 Go after Gucci.
00:28:48.560 Right.
00:28:48.920 Go after Gucci.
00:28:49.740 Gucci's fault.
00:28:50.400 It's unbelievable, the animals that they must have.
00:28:51.840 Are you and Chris cool now?
00:28:53.800 Yeah, we are.
00:28:54.520 Yeah, we are.
00:28:55.060 Yeah.
00:28:55.420 Yeah. 0.97
00:28:56.340 I mean, that whole period of my life was just like, just pure fuckery. 0.58
00:29:01.000 Like, I've watched some footage of myself, like, at that time when I-
00:29:04.840 Do you remember the tweet?
00:29:05.880 Yeah.
00:29:05.980 When I tweeted at Chris, and I was like, I was like, now I know why your comedy career
00:29:10.920 is dying, and he said, like, at least when my career dies, you can film it.
00:29:14.200 I'll put it on YouTube, like, grand slam, bro. 1.00
00:29:17.660 Fuck me up. 1.00
00:29:18.020 He's good at that, though. 1.00
00:29:18.740 He's great at that.
00:29:19.560 He's great at that.
00:29:20.900 He's really the greatest dad.
00:29:21.940 I walked into it. 1.00
00:29:22.400 What am I- I'm a moron. 1.00
00:29:23.880 Yeah. 0.99
00:29:24.380 But that whole life, like, man, I hated myself.
00:29:26.840 Yeah.
00:29:26.940 Did you, though?
00:29:29.040 I hated myself.
00:29:30.480 Wow.
00:29:31.000 I hated myself that, like, looking back now.
00:29:34.380 Looking back now.
00:29:35.420 Yeah.
00:29:35.440 At the time, I was like, this is dope.
00:29:37.100 Yeah.
00:29:37.480 I'm a YouTube star.
00:29:38.680 Yeah. 1.00
00:29:39.000 And now I'm just like, fuck. 1.00
00:29:40.060 You were just acting out. 1.00
00:29:41.580 I don't- yeah, I think so.
00:29:42.620 I think I was just lashing out.
00:29:43.500 I was pissed that everyone hated me.
00:29:44.880 I was pissed that everyone was pissed at me. 0.62
00:29:46.440 Yeah, you were doing the crazy pranks.
00:29:47.660 Yeah.
00:29:48.140 Have you ever done one of those where you regretted it?
00:29:49.860 Like, a crazy prank?
00:29:51.180 Well, obviously the one that we all know about.
00:29:53.060 The one in the forest.
00:29:54.080 Yeah, right.
00:29:54.820 That one.
00:29:55.520 Which I didn't even think was offensive.
00:29:56.700 I was like, whatever.
00:29:57.400 I didn't either.
00:29:58.040 You don't strike me as a person who found it offensive.
00:30:00.860 No.
00:30:01.960 I mean, me and my friends played with dead people, alive people, people who were in the
00:30:05.580 middle.
00:30:05.780 What are you saying?
00:30:06.060 But we just didn't.
00:30:06.640 What are you saying?
00:30:07.300 We couldn't get, you know?
00:30:08.080 Why did you-
00:30:08.500 We just couldn't get any, we couldn't monetize it.
00:30:10.920 Because we were from the generation that can't monetize the sociopathy.
00:30:16.100 But I wish we-
00:30:17.400 No, but that wasn't-
00:30:18.540 But have you ever done something where you're like, oh, I shouldn't-
00:30:21.100 Yeah, man.
00:30:22.100 I poured gasoline on my brother.
00:30:24.020 I tried to pour gasoline on my brother.
00:30:25.860 He ran away and I slipped in it and almost broke my shoulder.
00:30:28.380 Yeah, see that? 0.99
00:30:28.820 Dude, my boy Todd one time at Halloween drank a fucking half gallon of gasoline, dude. 0.99
00:30:33.720 And no joke, we never fucking saw him again. 0.99
00:30:36.020 Yeah. 0.97
00:30:36.200 And guess what?
00:30:37.700 Never have seen him.
00:30:38.340 He's probably fine.
00:30:39.520 Oh, I think he's fine, but I think he's never going to be fully fine.
00:30:42.540 Right.
00:30:42.820 You know?
00:30:43.380 Interesting.
00:30:44.100 Like, I think he can get a job, but I don't think he can get, like, promoted.
00:30:49.960 Yeah.
00:30:50.560 No, he's not going to get to the manager of Perkins.
00:30:52.980 Let's say this, dude.
00:30:53.840 He's going to be.
00:30:54.580 He ain't going out on Halloween anymore, I don't think.
00:30:58.660 He's staying at home and passing out candy, bro.
00:31:00.920 So, dude, was he dared to do it or was he one of those kids who was like- 0.98
00:31:03.240 We've been doing some mushrooms, dude, and we fucking hit the gas station. 0.62
00:31:06.460 If you're on mushrooms and there's nowhere to go, do you go to a gas station, bro? 0.99
00:31:10.120 And that place is fucking, like- 0.97
00:31:11.560 That seems like the least appealing place to be on mushrooms. 0.99
00:31:14.760 And they had a bunch of roaches, a whole fucking swarm of roaches that just hit our area. 0.92
00:31:18.400 And so there was, like, probably 600 roaches at this gas station. 0.98
00:31:22.620 I love how in your area you take mushrooms, but you realize life is worse.
00:31:26.080 Like, you don't have that enlightened experience.
00:31:28.620 You're like, let's go to the gas station where we're all going to work in three years.
00:31:32.780 It's like, what a nightmare.
00:31:34.260 Hey, let's go to the beach and realize we're all one consciousness.
00:31:36.860 No, let's go to the mobile and see where exactly we're headed.
00:31:40.700 Let's see how many Tootsie Rolls we can put in our mouths. 0.99
00:31:43.640 What a nightmare.
00:31:44.540 It was amazing, man.
00:31:45.600 It was amazing.
00:31:46.760 But he didn't seem like the kind of guy was going to do super great overall anyway.
00:31:50.680 Yeah, so in this podcast so far, you've mentioned three friends that have kind of just disappeared.
00:31:56.680 Why is that a thing in Louisiana?
00:31:58.140 Like, where are your friends going?
00:31:59.160 It's an easy place.
00:31:59.920 I mean, it's a place there's a lot of, you know-
00:32:01.360 Not Goldman Sachs.
00:32:02.260 That's not where they're going.
00:32:03.280 A lot of money.
00:32:04.840 Brother, going into the ether, man.
00:32:06.460 They're part of the mystery, you know?
00:32:07.680 Ah, falling off the face of the earth.
00:32:08.920 It's a flat earth.
00:32:09.880 It is a place that has just a lot of mystery.
00:32:11.840 They all become Netflix documentaries.
00:32:13.900 Yeah.
00:32:14.660 Dude, what do you think?
00:32:15.740 What did you ask him a second ago?
00:32:16.980 There was something I wanted to talk more about that.
00:32:18.580 It was a good question.
00:32:19.360 I forgot.
00:32:19.640 I was talking about Chris D'Elia beef.
00:32:21.860 Oh, yeah.
00:32:22.380 Chris D'Elia beef.
00:32:23.360 Do you-
00:32:24.320 Yeah.
00:32:25.420 But Chris D'Elia, I think, is more of an online beef person than he is a real human, in-life
00:32:30.120 beef person.
00:32:30.400 He's just a nice guy.
00:32:31.380 Sweet guy, yeah.
00:32:32.240 I feel like I'd like to believe that most people are.
00:32:35.120 I mean, I don't know how many people I got real beef with other than that one kid.
00:32:40.880 Right.
00:32:41.420 You know?
00:32:42.000 The British guy.
00:32:42.700 Yeah, the British guy.
00:32:43.520 Yeah, I mean-
00:32:44.800 Where does that come from, that beef? 1.00
00:32:46.080 Is that just talking shit? 0.99
00:32:46.960 You guys are both online? 0.99
00:32:47.900 Yeah, so it started off cool. 0.94
00:32:49.440 And then during the press conferences and shit, it just, he crossed the line, I crossed 0.99
00:32:53.400 the line, and it just got super toxic and unhealthy. 0.99
00:32:55.620 And now here we are. 0.99
00:32:56.300 We want to fucking rip each other's heads off. 1.00
00:32:58.000 It's dope. 1.00
00:32:58.460 It's great.
00:32:58.900 And some of it's kind of healthy, man.
00:33:00.100 You know?
00:33:00.520 Yeah.
00:33:00.720 One of my friends is fighting this weekend in the UFC, Poirier, against Khabib, the eagle. 0.99
00:33:07.060 Oh, shit. 0.99
00:33:07.820 That's a fight, dude. 1.00
00:33:08.760 Your boy might get rocked, dude.
00:33:10.680 Yeah, but he's a diamond, bro.
00:33:12.460 So, you know.
00:33:14.240 He already is, I think, legally a rock.
00:33:18.240 But, yeah.
00:33:20.260 I mean, anybody could win.
00:33:21.340 You know?
00:33:21.480 They got to fight, right?
00:33:22.760 I mean, Khabib is a rare specimen. 1.00
00:33:25.180 No, he's not even a human.
00:33:26.500 It's really crazy watching him.
00:33:27.720 It's almost like watching one of those things that they put into a scary movie that just
00:33:30.680 goes up the wall.
00:33:31.240 That's him, dude.
00:33:31.580 Yeah.
00:33:32.820 And his arms go behind like this.
00:33:35.020 It's very bad.
00:33:35.800 And then he crawls backwards. 0.99
00:33:36.120 Bro, he can put, bro, he fucking can put both of it. 0.99
00:33:38.560 He can take his arms off, dude. 0.99
00:33:40.100 Yeah. 1.00
00:33:40.460 And swallow him and fucking arm wrestle in his stomach. 1.00
00:33:42.620 Yeah. 1.00
00:33:42.880 He's a terrifying dude. 0.98
00:33:44.120 He's, but anyway, but yeah, you see these guys like, yeah, I want to beat the fuck out 0.99
00:33:48.040 of that guy. 0.96
00:33:48.740 And it's like, it's playful, but it's also like, this is what we're doing now.
00:33:52.980 Do you feel like this is, so this is something you're doing now.
00:33:56.540 As far as like fighting people, I think so, man.
00:33:59.100 I mean, yeah.
00:34:00.740 Are you going to, do you think you're going to continue this?
00:34:02.800 I think so.
00:34:03.320 Wow.
00:34:03.760 I think it's just, do you think you become a boxer?
00:34:06.300 Like a legit?
00:34:06.680 Nah, I'm going to do MMA.
00:34:08.200 I wrestled in high school and I was good.
00:34:09.780 I placed a fifth in Ohio.
00:34:11.660 So like, you know.
00:34:13.020 So that, a lot of that is there.
00:34:14.300 Yeah.
00:34:14.700 Right.
00:34:15.000 Yeah.
00:34:15.580 Boxing is a little limiting for me.
00:34:17.480 Are any of the other YouTube guys or social media guys doing stuff like this?
00:34:21.520 No, and I'll tell you why. 0.99
00:34:22.600 Well, they're bitches. 1.00
00:34:23.340 No, nope. 1.00
00:34:24.220 They're a hundred times smarter than me.
00:34:25.720 Yo, think about it. 1.00
00:34:27.060 I mean, fuck. 1.00
00:34:28.540 Combat sports are dangerous. 1.00
00:34:30.280 They are.
00:34:30.700 This is not healthy, getting hit in the head over and over again.
00:34:33.660 Right. 1.00
00:34:34.120 What am I some kind of moron? 1.00
00:34:35.440 The answer is yes. 0.99
00:34:36.380 Like, I'd like to believe that everyone else is, it's a combination of they're smarter and
00:34:40.740 it's not worth it and they probably don't want to work that hard because it is hard
00:34:44.200 work.
00:34:44.640 Right.
00:34:44.800 Right.
00:34:44.840 Right.
00:34:45.300 You know, I got like something's, some screws are missing.
00:34:48.440 It's a legit sport.
00:34:49.520 It's not just beating somebody up.
00:34:50.460 It's a legit sport.
00:34:51.380 Yeah.
00:34:51.540 We have to train.
00:34:52.380 Yeah.
00:34:52.400 And you're going to lose, like, do you feel like you're going to kind of create a new fan
00:34:57.260 base with some of this too?
00:34:58.220 Oh, for sure.
00:34:58.700 Oh, for sure.
00:34:59.180 That's why.
00:34:59.400 That stuff will change.
00:35:00.080 Yeah.
00:35:00.320 That's why I do.
00:35:00.880 I noticed in the last fight, the last fight after we did it, I was instantly elevated
00:35:07.200 from YouTube star to like whatever the level right below like traditional celebrity and
00:35:14.600 YouTube star.
00:35:15.280 Like whatever's in between that.
00:35:16.460 Right.
00:35:16.640 It's just like.
00:35:17.100 You're a bold face name.
00:35:18.320 People know who you are.
00:35:18.860 Yeah.
00:35:19.380 Yeah.
00:35:19.640 Yeah.
00:35:19.780 Yeah.
00:35:19.800 Because, you know, you walk in somewhere, it's not like, oh, that's the guy that makes
00:35:22.380 YouTube videos. 1.00
00:35:22.880 Like, oh shit, this motherfucker knows how to fight. 1.00
00:35:24.760 Right. 1.00
00:35:24.880 And it's a different level of respect.
00:35:27.060 Yeah.
00:35:27.200 And the fight game is huge.
00:35:28.140 I love fighting.
00:35:28.580 I've been watching UFC forever.
00:35:30.440 It's huge and it's growing.
00:35:31.500 Yeah.
00:35:31.640 I mean, it's huge and it's growing.
00:35:32.920 And it's like, what's going to be next? 0.99
00:35:34.280 Like, and this could be it, you know, seeing people actually get to, you know, talk shit, 0.98
00:35:39.860 but also back it up if they want to in the ring. 0.98
00:35:42.060 Maybe.
00:35:42.640 Yeah. 0.99
00:35:42.780 Because the online shit talking is, there's never really been a place for it to culminate. 0.99
00:35:46.720 Yeah. 0.99
00:35:46.840 Nobody goes and organizes a fight between the girl in Huffington Post with blue hair and 1.00
00:35:52.280 James Chappelle.
00:35:53.280 They should be fighting each other in the ring.
00:35:55.000 Yeah.
00:35:55.240 That's big business.
00:35:55.840 Someone's got to do it.
00:35:56.840 100%.
00:35:57.200 When you say like looking back on yourself, like, and you can watch like videos when you're
00:36:01.300 younger, it's kind of crazy that most people don't have that experience though.
00:36:05.780 It's like, you're like one of the few people that can have that experience because so much
00:36:09.720 of you is documented.
00:36:11.500 So then it's like.
00:36:12.380 So much of who I was pretending to be at the time.
00:36:15.760 Yeah.
00:36:15.920 But we all were.
00:36:16.660 It's like, that's just a phase a lot of us go through in life, man.
00:36:19.280 But did you, did you, did you like, when you look back at footage from like five years
00:36:22.780 ago, do you, do you feel like you were a lesser version of yourself or?
00:36:27.140 Oh yeah.
00:36:27.460 And I loved it, dude.
00:36:28.480 Okay.
00:36:29.380 I loved being a lesser version of myself.
00:36:30.720 I've had to be like more, you know, you got to get, do stuff.
00:36:33.900 You got to call Nick, you know, you got to do all kinds of stuff now.
00:36:36.800 It's more responsibility.
00:36:38.060 I feel you.
00:36:38.520 So I liked the lesser version when I didn't have to do that much.
00:36:41.640 Yeah.
00:36:43.440 But I, but that's also me a little bit older. 0.90
00:36:45.940 Like if I'm looking back on my teen years and stuff, dude, I, who the fuck knows what 0.96
00:36:52.060 would be on there, bro? 0.97
00:36:53.060 Yeah. 1.00
00:36:53.460 Crazy shit. 1.00
00:36:54.180 Crazy shit. 1.00
00:36:54.980 Yeah, bro. 1.00
00:36:55.740 Anything involving fire?
00:36:57.720 Uh, that you can legally discuss. 0.99
00:37:01.560 Dude, we used to do this thing, vajip, and where girls would put it at LSD in their vagina, 1.00
00:37:06.080 dude. 1.00
00:37:06.760 Yeah.
00:37:07.000 And.
00:37:07.600 How'd that work out?
00:37:08.200 This was a fun school to go to.
00:37:09.700 See what would happen to us.
00:37:10.340 This was a fun high school.
00:37:11.800 This high school, people are pregnant at fifth grade. 0.98
00:37:14.600 That's huge, bro.
00:37:15.440 This is a real interesting crop of kids.
00:37:17.280 Whatever, dude.
00:37:17.980 You got no heart. 1.00
00:37:18.760 People are drinking gasoline, acid in the vagina. 1.00
00:37:22.340 You got no heart. 0.99
00:37:22.820 These are like problems I didn't even know could be problems.
00:37:25.780 I'm like, I didn't even know these things could happen.
00:37:27.500 This is Americana, bro.
00:37:28.780 Yeah.
00:37:29.060 We have a jip and it was an old school thing, but I think it's coming back.
00:37:31.520 Bring it back.
00:37:32.500 Bring it back. 1.00
00:37:33.580 Do you get fucked up faster? 1.00
00:37:35.620 Yeah. 1.00
00:37:35.880 Oh, I mean. 1.00
00:37:36.680 You get fucked up almost before you can even open your mouth and close it back. 1.00
00:37:40.260 Interesting. 1.00
00:37:40.920 That's quick.
00:37:41.780 That's way quick.
00:37:42.300 Think about that.
00:37:43.160 Yeah.
00:37:43.400 You put it in and then.
00:37:46.560 Wow.
00:37:47.020 That's quick, bro.
00:37:48.040 Vigipping. 1.00
00:37:48.500 Who named it vigip?
00:37:49.600 That's fast acting. 1.00
00:37:50.520 Vagina tripping. 1.00
00:37:51.320 Yeah. 0.96
00:37:51.580 A couple of these broads that went hard. 1.00
00:37:53.180 Let's go vigip. 0.93
00:37:54.180 And then what was that? 0.98
00:37:55.080 Fag boxing? 1.00
00:37:55.820 What do you call it? 0.99
00:37:56.320 Fag fighting? 1.00
00:37:57.240 It was, first of all, it was just some of your people who brought the business to town. 0.95
00:38:00.920 People got to make money.
00:38:01.880 I agree.
00:38:02.480 People got to make money. 1.00
00:38:03.160 If you're gay in Louisiana, in rural Louisiana, you're going to have to beat the shit out of 1.00
00:38:06.880 another gay guy. 1.00
00:38:08.080 You're not designing houses. 0.99
00:38:09.700 You're not an interior designer.
00:38:11.080 You're going to have to fight. 0.97
00:38:12.220 And you hope that some fans come in who are vigipin', some fag gags that are all vigipin', 1.00
00:38:17.480 who think it's great. 0.98
00:38:19.320 Bro, I fucking bet $100 on this dude Enrique one time. 1.00
00:38:23.900 He's a very small fucking guy. 0.99
00:38:26.780 I love that. 1.00
00:38:27.500 It's amazing.
00:38:28.400 Beautiful small guy.
00:38:29.480 Did Enrique lose or did he win? 1.00
00:38:31.520 He fucking lost, bro. 0.99
00:38:32.500 But it was all kind of set up and I didn't realize it. 1.00
00:38:34.840 I was at the age where it was all a show.
00:38:36.340 I didn't realize that.
00:38:36.920 Oh, this was like professional wrestling.
00:38:38.260 This was all choreographed.
00:38:39.340 Yes, it was all choreographed. 1.00
00:38:40.200 It's just poor gay dudes who couldn't become dancers, who had to just beat the shit out 1.00
00:38:44.160 of each other in Louisiana. 1.00
00:38:46.060 Wow.
00:38:46.780 It was kind of like, I mean, it was like, you could probably promote it one day.
00:38:51.700 Yeah.
00:38:52.140 There should be a movie about that.
00:38:53.600 I want to see the movie.
00:38:54.460 I want to see the movie about that.
00:38:56.240 Yeah, bro.
00:38:56.860 A gay traveling circuit.
00:38:58.880 Bro, they had these two dudes. 0.94
00:39:00.260 You could get, you should be able to wrestle with a bear at a bar.
00:39:03.300 You used to be able to do that everywhere.
00:39:05.080 Where?
00:39:05.420 That had bears.
00:39:07.160 Yeah, you can't do that now.
00:39:08.080 You can't do that now.
00:39:08.640 It's dangerous.
00:39:09.080 Yeah.
00:39:09.400 Yeah, but it was just like, people were more-
00:39:11.780 So you would go into a bar and wrestle a bear.
00:39:14.440 You got to give me-
00:39:15.060 You had to pay $10.
00:39:16.500 And then you could just wrestle a bear?
00:39:18.020 You could wrestle him for a little bit.
00:39:19.460 In New York City, there was a really rich guy in the late 1800s.
00:39:21.760 He kept a bear chained to a stake in his lawn because that was a way to show everyone
00:39:25.380 he was really rich.
00:39:26.420 I like that.
00:39:26.860 Because he had a bear.
00:39:27.540 That's gangster.
00:39:28.400 It is.
00:39:28.600 He had a big bear chained to a stake.
00:39:30.320 Wow.
00:39:30.840 The thing would hang out on the lawn and people would be like, that guy's no joke.
00:39:33.620 There's not a better way to flex, you think?
00:39:35.140 There's not a better way to flex than just having a bear like that?
00:39:38.200 Yeah, I'm trying to think of something else good.
00:39:39.360 I still think that's something you should consider.
00:39:41.360 You've done it all.
00:39:42.000 The bear in the lawn?
00:39:42.380 You have the nice car. 1.00
00:39:43.080 The house gives a shit. 1.00
00:39:43.880 I've wrestled the bear, too. 1.00
00:39:44.860 Get a bear.
00:39:45.360 Get a grizzly and just hang out. 0.70
00:39:46.620 A grizzly?
00:39:47.780 I have a mastiff.
00:39:49.060 Tibetan mastiff.
00:39:49.920 Those are great.
00:39:50.400 Do you have a Tibetan mastiff?
00:39:51.420 She's biting people, though. 1.00
00:39:52.880 Well, they're vicious animals. 0.92
00:39:53.940 I didn't know.
00:39:54.820 Yeah, I mean, they're vicious.
00:39:55.660 I think it's sexy when a dog bites somebody.
00:39:57.520 You think so?
00:39:57.780 I like to watch someone get bit, too.
00:39:59.440 A little bit.
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00:43:01.280 And now back to your program.
00:43:04.360 But yeah, it's just crazy that you can look back on your life.
00:43:06.500 Nobody else has that same thing where they have to look back.
00:43:08.620 Because then you're just more likely to judge yourself.
00:43:10.600 Dude, if 22-year-old me showed up right now, bro, what would I think, you know? 0.99
00:43:16.000 I'd be like, damn, dude, tighten up, dude, you know? 0.99
00:43:18.940 Really? 0.99
00:43:19.440 Yeah, I think so.
00:43:20.600 Yeah, what do you think?
00:43:21.320 You think you're too loose now?
00:43:23.080 I just don't know.
00:43:24.080 I just don't know what I would think, man.
00:43:26.200 I don't know what I would think.
00:43:27.160 Yeah.
00:43:27.460 What did you guys think about the Justin Bieber post?
00:43:31.720 Do you see his post about the-
00:43:33.320 Tom Cruise?
00:43:34.080 No, not Tom Cruise.
00:43:35.180 He wants to fight.
00:43:36.120 Well, he wanted to fight Tom Cruise.
00:43:37.200 Are you talking about the mental health one?
00:43:38.220 Well, yeah, but first let's talk about Tom Cruise.
00:43:40.040 Then that would be a good fight on that same card.
00:43:42.440 That would be a good fight.
00:43:43.800 Cruise, Bieber.
00:43:44.860 I think, I mean, not think.
00:43:46.260 I think Bieber would wipe the floor with him, if I'm being honest, man.
00:43:49.400 I mean-
00:43:49.960 I think so, too.
00:43:51.300 Tommy's just too old, dude.
00:43:52.660 Too old and too scientific.
00:43:53.500 But he got that old man's strength, though.
00:43:55.660 And science, bro, if you got Scientology, dude, you could do anything you want.
00:43:58.800 You could do magic, almost.
00:44:00.560 Yeah, I don't know about that.
00:44:01.440 Their whole thing's based on magic.
00:44:02.780 I gotta be honest. 0.99
00:44:03.200 I think the whole thing's based on blackmailing gay dudes. 0.98
00:44:05.820 I think that's what it's really based on. 0.98
00:44:07.640 Okay, yeah.
00:44:08.180 It's going, here's a picture of you kissing a dude. 0.99
00:44:10.340 What's that cost?
00:44:11.220 25 grand a month for the rest of your life.
00:44:13.340 You go, okay, cool.
00:44:14.840 Whatever.
00:44:15.260 I'm Batman, or whatever it is.
00:44:16.560 I think that's what it is.
00:44:17.480 I don't think it's magic.
00:44:19.080 I think it's cameras.
00:44:21.340 I feel like Logan gets nervous every time Tim brings up gay people, but he is gay, so 1.00
00:44:25.620 he's allowed to say all this.
00:44:26.420 Oh, yeah.
00:44:26.600 I'm allowed to say everything I want.
00:44:27.860 I can say the N-word. 0.51
00:44:28.960 I can say-
00:44:29.640 I'm kidding.
00:44:30.520 I can't say the N-word.
00:44:31.300 I can say, I'm joking.
00:44:33.200 I don't have that. 0.99
00:44:33.500 You can say, look at this, gay man. 0.99
00:44:34.560 Wait, hey, are you gay? 1.00
00:44:35.520 Yeah, yeah. 0.91
00:44:36.320 Oh, really? 0.97
00:44:36.720 So I can say, I can say gay. 0.96
00:44:38.540 Yeah, Logan's very nervous.
00:44:39.920 No, I mean, look, I've had some controversy.
00:44:42.040 What's new?
00:44:42.360 What'd you do?
00:44:43.280 Man, this- 1.00
00:44:44.180 Fuck those bitches. 1.00
00:44:45.660 I think so. 1.00
00:44:45.860 Don't worry about it. 0.99
00:44:46.860 Well, we are fucking them, and it's not going that well. 0.99
00:44:51.800 What did you say? 0.99
00:44:52.520 What did they say?
00:44:53.340 Because they always go to the-
00:44:54.340 They always find something homophobic, like a-
00:44:56.180 You didn't hear this?
00:44:57.760 I don't.
00:44:58.340 I didn't hear it. 1.00
00:44:59.300 Shit, man. 1.00
00:45:00.120 What happened? 1.00
00:45:01.020 He's like, I killed three gay guys. 1.00
00:45:02.440 He's like, I hate to bring it up. 0.99
00:45:03.600 He's like, I hate to bring it up right now. 0.98
00:45:05.040 In Ohio, me and Jake, it was funny to tie up three gay guys and light them on fire. 1.00
00:45:09.860 Sorry. 0.98
00:45:10.840 He's like, you didn't hear this?
00:45:11.960 It was a guy named Matthew Shepard, and it was the first viral video.
00:45:16.780 We tied him to a-
00:45:17.720 Anyway, no. 1.00
00:45:18.460 What did you say, fag? 1.00
00:45:19.900 No, no, dude. 0.99
00:45:22.040 I said we were going to hook up with dudes in March.
00:45:25.760 Male only March.
00:45:26.780 You got it?
00:45:27.300 Yeah.
00:45:27.800 And I used the verbiage. 0.79
00:45:29.520 I said we were going to go gay. 0.84
00:45:31.280 Right. 0.97
00:45:31.640 Okay, that's funny.
00:45:32.460 On our podcast, it's the verbiage I use.
00:45:35.780 And instead of saying, yo, we're going to hook up with dudes for March, it was a male-only
00:45:38.880 march.
00:45:39.160 It was a joke.
00:45:39.880 Of course.
00:45:40.200 We did Sober Vegan January, Fatal February, the joke was we're going to do male-only 0.57
00:45:45.000 marching.
00:45:45.480 Yeah.
00:45:46.040 It was just an out-of-touch joke.
00:45:48.760 People got mad.
00:45:49.600 Yeah, people got mad.
00:45:50.560 Online people did.
00:45:51.680 Online people.
00:45:52.240 Nobody in the real world cares.
00:45:53.720 And that's the truth.
00:45:54.600 That's the thing.
00:45:55.220 There's an online thing, and there's a real world thing.
00:45:57.240 Did it affect, you think, the long-term way that people are interacting with you?
00:46:01.180 Me?
00:46:01.720 Yeah.
00:46:02.100 Yeah.
00:46:02.420 No, it didn't affect me. 0.97
00:46:02.920 Nobody at 7-Eleven turned around to me and were like, you hear about that fucking male-only 0.99
00:46:06.680 march? 1.00
00:46:07.140 They're going to go gay? 1.00
00:46:07.900 That's ridiculous. 1.00
00:46:08.860 Yeah, nobody. 0.98
00:46:09.620 Nobody cares.
00:46:10.480 That's the crazy thing.
00:46:11.340 People are just trying to get their kids medicine.
00:46:13.420 Really?
00:46:14.080 That's really the real world.
00:46:15.300 I know we're all in LA.
00:46:16.280 Nobody cares.
00:46:17.160 People just want to give their kids medicine when they're sick.
00:46:19.840 That's literally what people are worried about.
00:46:21.760 Nobody cares.
00:46:22.220 Dude, I don't know if I'd go gay for a whole month, bro.
00:46:24.400 Dude, I'd do a week first.
00:46:25.720 You guys seem brave, I think.
00:46:26.800 A month is a lot.
00:46:27.900 Yeah.
00:46:28.240 It's heavy.
00:46:29.100 Would you do straight for a month, you think?
00:46:31.100 Yeah, absolutely.
00:46:31.540 I would do straight for a decent-sized starter house for the rest of my life.
00:46:37.640 Like, not even, like a mil two, little Mediterranean style on a busy corner.
00:46:43.460 Oh, Jesus.
00:46:43.920 Doesn't even have to be.
00:46:45.560 No backyard.
00:46:47.020 Partially rented out.
00:46:48.320 Yeah.
00:46:48.500 Oh, my God, bro.
00:46:49.460 I mean, listen.
00:46:50.700 You sound like an easy guest.
00:46:52.260 I would try it for months.
00:46:54.500 I mean, I've tried it before.
00:46:55.400 I tried it a bunch.
00:46:56.300 It didn't work.
00:46:56.980 Oh, really?
00:46:57.420 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:46:58.560 Because, you know, I remember one time I thought I was maybe gay for a little while, but I was 0.96
00:47:01.940 just really lonely, I think, and I'd just been masturbating too much. 0.94
00:47:05.200 Yeah. 0.99
00:47:06.160 You're attracted to yourself, essentially.
00:47:08.000 Is that what you're saying?
00:47:08.500 I don't know what was going on, dude, but it was just like, I don't know, dude. 1.00
00:47:13.060 Oh, I wasn't meeting any girls, and I was like, oh, fuck, man. 0.99
00:47:15.560 If I'm not meeting any girls, maybe I'm gay, and I just don't know what's going on, you 1.00
00:47:18.940 know?
00:47:19.460 Yeah, right.
00:47:20.060 No, no, never shut it off.
00:47:22.280 Like, who knows? 0.97
00:47:23.640 Oh, I'll be gay. 0.99
00:47:24.280 When I'm 70 or 80, dude, I don't fucking care. 1.00
00:47:26.280 Dude, I'll fuck anybody in here, bro. 1.00
00:47:27.780 Yeah, for sure. 1.00
00:47:28.420 I'll fuck any of you creeps, bro. 1.00
00:47:29.980 That's it. 1.00
00:47:30.340 That's it.
00:47:31.160 Let's all hope, you know?
00:47:32.560 That's all hope.
00:47:34.100 That's that Richard Dixon right there, bro, you know?
00:47:38.160 But yeah, who knows, dude?
00:47:39.720 I mean, who knows?
00:47:40.220 Who knows?
00:47:40.520 But yo, also, like, who cares?
00:47:41.960 I'll just say it.
00:47:42.760 Like, I've kissed dudes before.
00:47:43.980 Yeah.
00:47:44.100 I mean, it was an acting class, you know?
00:47:46.320 Right.
00:47:46.800 It was recreational.
00:47:48.180 Yeah.
00:47:48.420 But like, it was nothing against it.
00:47:50.220 Do you remember the guy's name or not?
00:47:51.700 Ugh.
00:47:52.520 Sean?
00:47:53.340 I feel like it was Tyler.
00:47:54.980 Oh, yeah.
00:47:55.900 That's crazy, bro.
00:47:56.740 Yo, you know, you know.
00:47:57.520 Where was it?
00:47:57.880 By the beach, dude?
00:47:58.760 I would never kiss a guy named Tyler Inland.
00:48:00.700 It was an acting class.
00:48:01.440 Are you talking about Tyler from AMAW, the big guy?
00:48:05.240 I know exactly who you're talking about.
00:48:06.540 Wait.
00:48:06.960 Who's Tyler?
00:48:07.200 He's a famous actor.
00:48:08.600 No, he's not.
00:48:09.340 Oh, he's not?
00:48:09.840 I know another Tyler that's like a-
00:48:10.920 What's Tyler in?
00:48:11.640 Is he in power?
00:48:12.080 Did you go there?
00:48:12.820 Yeah, I used to be in Tony's class for like two years.
00:48:14.800 So that's what I'm saying.
00:48:15.560 You do scenes.
00:48:16.320 Oh, yeah.
00:48:16.620 Sometimes you get handed a guy-on-guy scene and like, let's be honest, like I'm not a 1.00
00:48:20.100 fucking pussy, bro. 1.00
00:48:20.800 Relax. 1.00
00:48:21.280 I know you got excited when I said I died. 1.00
00:48:22.980 Oh, I'm going to kiss this fucking guy till his arms fall off. 1.00
00:48:25.200 When can I join the class? 1.00
00:48:26.640 Because I want to be-
00:48:27.600 I want to be in-
00:48:28.260 Your whole life is in the class.
00:48:28.860 I want to be in power.
00:48:30.180 You know?
00:48:30.820 Can I be in power? 1.00
00:48:33.040 Will we fuck if I'm in power? 1.00
00:48:34.600 How does it work? 1.00
00:48:35.560 Can I be a prison guard?
00:48:36.740 I don't even know what power's about.
00:48:37.920 It's about prison, right?
00:48:39.160 No?
00:48:39.540 All right.
00:48:39.840 Is Tyler just milling around these classes, waiting for the scene?
00:48:43.140 He did it to Gianni?
00:48:43.920 No, no.
00:48:44.300 He has a girlfriend too.
00:48:45.640 Yeah.
00:48:45.900 Yeah, no.
00:48:46.660 Everybody has a girlfriend.
00:48:47.620 In any acting or movie, like I've kissed dudes in movies I've been to.
00:48:53.200 Like, yo.
00:48:53.720 Dude, and the way it is work, the way Hollywood's going.
00:48:55.460 Oh, some dude kissed. 0.93
00:48:56.460 Some dude actually ejaculated on my arm when I was at- 0.85
00:49:00.200 What class was that? 0.97
00:49:01.120 No, it wasn't a class.
00:49:01.940 I was in a movie theater.
00:49:03.000 It's a very interesting class.
00:49:03.760 So what happened then? 0.97
00:49:05.120 His girlfriend gave him a handjob and I was too close to him. 0.99
00:49:07.960 You know? 0.99
00:49:08.420 Yo, Louisiana is the spot.
00:49:10.400 I was going to say-
00:49:11.220 That's the spot.
00:49:11.660 Was this in Louisiana too?
00:49:12.980 That's wild.
00:49:13.720 Yeah.
00:49:14.240 I mean, it was kind of by the interstate a little bit.
00:49:16.460 Yeah.
00:49:16.780 It was here by the interstate?
00:49:18.120 Yeah.
00:49:18.380 That's when the good stuff goes.
00:49:19.300 Yeah, you wild that out. 0.99
00:49:19.940 Dude, 200 yards off the fucking interstate and you're in a film, bro? 0.99
00:49:23.740 Do you remember the movie? 1.00
00:49:24.320 Could you name a better town?
00:49:25.280 Do you remember the movie?
00:49:26.040 Huh?
00:49:26.300 Yeah, I remember it.
00:49:26.940 It was called Punkin' Head.
00:49:27.760 It was a scary movie. 0.97
00:49:29.720 Those are the best movies to get handjobs in though. 0.97
00:49:31.640 Bro, I wasn't getting it, dude. 1.00
00:49:32.920 I was a fucking victim. 0.99
00:49:33.960 No, I know. 1.00
00:49:34.660 Oh, but the guy, he clearly knew something.
00:49:36.780 Oh, yeah, dude.
00:49:37.580 It was secondhand, bro.
00:49:39.180 Secondhand. 0.99
00:49:41.280 What do you do after you just got cummed on in the movie? 0.98
00:49:45.160 I didn't know what was going on, dude. 0.99
00:49:46.520 I thought I was gay for about two months, bro.
00:49:48.580 Yeah, interesting.
00:49:49.640 Because you have to at that age.
00:49:51.040 Somebody comes on you in a theater, bro.
00:49:52.540 It makes you think.
00:49:54.220 Well, it just makes you scared, I thought.
00:49:56.160 You're like, was I chosen?
00:49:57.300 Is this the way it happens?
00:49:58.840 Is this the way they recruit people?
00:49:59.920 Do I have a choice?
00:50:01.600 Can I even look at a woman now? 1.00
00:50:03.160 I have to explain to her what happened? 0.99
00:50:05.380 Oh, it was a tough fucking show. 1.00
00:50:06.840 That shit affected me, bro. 1.00
00:50:08.840 Do you ever, how often do you go back to your hometown now? 1.00
00:50:11.580 I go back a lot, man.
00:50:12.600 Yeah.
00:50:13.300 I go back a lot.
00:50:14.180 I was just on the coast.
00:50:14.880 I was just in Biloxi this weekend doing a show.
00:50:16.760 Yeah.
00:50:16.920 And everybody came out.
00:50:17.320 I did that Stardome that I saw you were at.
00:50:19.420 Yeah, pretty cool.
00:50:20.040 Yeah, it was wild.
00:50:21.140 It was wild.
00:50:21.560 Did you ever do a tour?
00:50:22.600 Did you ever tour?
00:50:23.380 No, I want to.
00:50:24.460 I want to.
00:50:24.680 Is it crazy?
00:50:26.100 Yeah, it's crazy.
00:50:26.900 I mean, with stand-up, it's like, I feel like it'd be tougher for you, for guys that
00:50:30.780 are, you know, kind of YouTube stars.
00:50:33.500 I don't know what the best term is, but with boxing, I mean, you could go and sell, and
00:50:36.660 you could fight.
00:50:37.980 Yeah.
00:50:38.300 But I'm just saying with YouTube, I think it's different, or, you know, at least I have
00:50:42.400 a thing to do. 0.98
00:50:43.080 I was going to say, what the fuck do I do? 0.98
00:50:44.420 You do Q&A. 1.00
00:50:45.560 Yeah, suck my dick. 1.00
00:50:46.760 No. 1.00
00:50:47.220 Like, you know what I'm saying?
00:50:48.140 Like modeling.
00:50:48.800 Did you ever watch the thing, Chasing Cameron on Netflix, where they like would.
00:50:52.040 He didn't watch that.
00:50:52.780 Nobody watched it.
00:50:53.220 All those Vine stars would go out, and they would, like, throw water bottles in the crowd.
00:50:57.100 That's what they did.
00:50:57.860 They did well.
00:50:58.680 I did see that, actually.
00:50:59.860 Yeah, they jumped around.
00:51:01.480 They're, like, lip-synced to songs.
00:51:02.980 They, like, throw water in the crowd.
00:51:04.480 So me, personally, probably would rather dive than do that.
00:51:07.860 Than do that.
00:51:08.760 Yeah.
00:51:09.360 Looks good.
00:51:09.800 I'm like a cash grab, kind of.
00:51:13.240 What about the, yeah, the Bieber post?
00:51:15.680 What do you think about that?
00:51:16.520 Talking about the mental health one?
00:51:17.640 Yeah.
00:51:17.940 I thought it was dope, man. 0.99
00:51:18.600 Anytime a celebrity opens up about vulnerable shit, like, it's cool. 0.99
00:51:22.560 Yeah. 0.99
00:51:23.120 You know?
00:51:24.300 Pretty cool, I thought.
00:51:25.160 Yeah, it's cool.
00:51:25.860 A lot of people relate to it.
00:51:27.360 And so when an icon can be open, you know, and truthful about himself, it's cool.
00:51:33.220 Yeah.
00:51:33.420 A hundred percent.
00:51:34.780 Pretty wild to think.
00:51:36.200 Yeah, I just couldn't imagine.
00:51:37.380 Because, you know, it shows people you could have all this stuff.
00:51:39.340 You could have all the money.
00:51:40.100 You could have all the fame.
00:51:41.280 You could be very talented.
00:51:42.280 You could still not be happy.
00:51:43.560 You could still have a lot of those problems.
00:51:45.240 Yeah.
00:51:45.760 You know, it helps me perspective. 0.92
00:51:47.020 Real, like, whenever I'm having just a shit day, and I'm, like, one of the worst, you 0.88
00:51:53.480 know, sued for, like, hundreds of thousands of dollars, like, hurt myself in boxing in 0.99
00:51:57.260 the morning, and, like, sick, and I'm just like, fuck, nothing's going right. 0.97
00:52:00.480 I'm always, like, someone, someone, somewhere has it so much worse. 0.98
00:52:05.600 Yeah.
00:52:05.940 You know?
00:52:06.160 Yeah, lots of people, lots of people.
00:52:07.440 You know, so, like, I...
00:52:09.020 Yeah.
00:52:09.480 Yeah, continents have it worse.
00:52:11.640 All of them has it extremely worse.
00:52:13.460 I'm right here.
00:52:14.320 So, entire hemispheres have it worse.
00:52:16.580 I love how you're, like, someone, like, he wakes up wherever he is in Beverly Hills.
00:52:19.820 He's like, there's got to be someone out there who's having a bad day today, like I'm having
00:52:24.380 a bad day.
00:52:25.300 And there's got to be some other person out there.
00:52:27.900 Well, let's go to a guy right here.
00:52:29.500 We got a guy right here who has a call.
00:52:30.960 This guy's having a worse day.
00:52:32.100 This guy.
00:52:32.720 He's driving a prison bus.
00:52:34.120 Yeah, he is, actually.
00:52:35.520 Let's go to Michael.
00:52:36.360 Guys, hey, just wondering, you know, with the level of success that you guys have, is
00:52:42.200 it hard to kind of smell the roses sometimes and be actually proud of what you've done
00:52:46.260 and, you know, be really grateful and happy with where you're at?
00:52:50.720 Or do you think it's, like, always going to be a constant battle of wanting the next best
00:52:54.240 thing and not really taking the time to really think about how cool it is to be in the position
00:52:59.500 you're at?
00:53:00.580 It feels like sometimes a constant battle of always wanting the next thing.
00:53:03.860 But, yeah, we'd love to know, guys.
00:53:07.280 Thanks.
00:53:07.980 Gang, gang.
00:53:08.640 Gang, gang, bro.
00:53:09.360 That's a great question, man.
00:53:10.560 That's a great question.
00:53:14.380 You always want to do more stuff, right?
00:53:17.660 Well, I think that that is something that happens to people.
00:53:20.420 I think there's certain types of people that you, there's a drive to, I don't know if it's
00:53:26.700 success or achievement or conquering the next thing where it's just a thing in your brain
00:53:31.820 that turns over where it's like, okay, what next do I try and accomplish?
00:53:36.880 Right.
00:53:37.220 And it's never changed.
00:53:38.120 You happen to accomplish things along the way.
00:53:40.060 Right.
00:53:40.560 But it's what do, what am I going to do next?
00:53:42.760 Yeah.
00:53:43.520 What gets you excited?
00:53:44.680 That's what I feel.
00:53:45.420 It's like whatever excites you, like you're excited by this fight.
00:53:47.940 Yeah.
00:53:48.380 You want to, this is what you're into right now.
00:53:50.500 Yeah.
00:53:51.140 Whatever you're into, it might not be what you're into in six months or a year, but
00:53:54.360 then you got to go find that thing.
00:53:55.860 Yeah.
00:53:56.020 And then keep getting excited.
00:53:57.720 But your brain also, I think some people's brains, some people's, the way they are, is
00:54:01.100 going to find that no matter what.
00:54:02.980 It's like, it's just in you to find whatever that thing is.
00:54:06.180 It's the same reason why you found whatever the first thing was that kind of got you going.
00:54:10.840 Well, it's fear that keeps you from that, right?
00:54:12.540 I think a lot of people want to do things they don't do them.
00:54:15.080 They're afraid of doing them or their circumstances prevent them from doing them.
00:54:19.700 But I think if you get rid of the fear of like, maybe I'll fail at that, or maybe that's
00:54:23.780 not going to be what I think it's going to be, if you get rid of that fear, then you're
00:54:26.780 just open to what is the next thing?
00:54:29.340 What is the next thing?
00:54:30.420 Yeah.
00:54:31.420 It is hard to look back, I think.
00:54:33.580 It's definitely hard to like stop and kind of smell the roses kind of.
00:54:36.980 I make myself sometimes.
00:54:38.820 Like I'll force myself to go on vacation or like I take Sundays off now no matter what.
00:54:43.400 Wow.
00:54:43.660 Because otherwise you get caught up in this cycle of just trying to go, go, go, go, go, 1.00
00:54:47.460 and then you fuck yourself. 1.00
00:54:48.260 You shoot yourself in the foot. 1.00
00:54:49.240 Oh, yeah. 1.00
00:54:49.600 Both my feet are fucking full of lead right now. 0.98
00:54:52.000 You're working too hard, Theo. 0.99
00:54:53.200 I'm working too hard.
00:54:54.220 Too much yoga.
00:54:55.200 Yeah.
00:54:55.560 You got to chill.
00:54:56.680 You got to chill.
00:54:57.820 That's what I'm saying.
00:54:58.580 But no, yeah.
00:54:59.120 It's a yoga trainer.
00:54:59.780 It can burn.
00:55:00.380 I feel like definitely burnout is a real thing.
00:55:02.780 But a lot of successful people that I know weren't chasing the thing that they have now.
00:55:08.920 They loved what they did and then they get the win and that's where their dopamine spike
00:55:13.780 comes in and that's what makes them happy.
00:55:15.360 That's what excites them.
00:55:16.100 And then it gets old onto the next.
00:55:18.280 What else can I do?
00:55:18.900 What else can I conquer?
00:55:20.780 So I think it's just you got to find that thing that makes you happy and then it's like
00:55:24.660 a compound effect.
00:55:25.460 If you keep going and going and going, next thing you know, you have all this success.
00:55:28.980 But this success didn't come overnight.
00:55:32.440 Right. 1.00
00:55:32.720 I've been doing this shit for 15 fucking years as all of us have. 1.00
00:55:36.160 And there's a price for it. 1.00
00:55:37.000 I mean, his success is really – you're starting to get more popular right now, Tim.
00:55:40.460 A little bit.
00:55:40.740 Would you say that?
00:55:41.220 Yeah, a little bit.
00:55:41.980 Yeah, yeah.
00:55:42.960 Over the last year, it's been a good year.
00:55:44.960 I'm doing comedy like eight and a half, nine years.
00:55:46.580 Last year, it's been really good.
00:55:47.500 And what do you kind of attribute that to?
00:55:49.340 I think just have an opportunity, more people knowing about you, coming out here more.
00:55:54.160 I was in New York and I love New York, but coming out here, meeting more people, getting
00:55:58.200 the chance to go and do different things, and then just being funny.
00:56:01.120 So getting a chance and being funny.
00:56:02.780 Getting funny and then going and getting a chance to be funny in front of people.
00:56:06.780 Like Bert Kreischer is like, if you just build houses in a neighborhood and nobody sees them,
00:56:10.540 but then you get a chance to build a house in a neighborhood and people are looking at it
00:56:13.420 and they're like, oh, I like that.
00:56:14.440 I want to build my house.
00:56:15.340 So I think that's what it is.
00:56:16.880 It's just sticking with something and then until it matters.
00:56:19.700 Yeah.
00:56:19.800 Once people see that you can do it, yeah, sometimes it comes too early for people too.
00:56:23.920 It's like you don't really have your art down and then you get an opportunity and then
00:56:29.180 everybody sees your art as not.
00:56:31.000 I mean, we know a ton of dudes that auditioned for SNL when they were 19 or they had a huge
00:56:34.680 opportunity when they were super young or they got an opportunity and it just didn't
00:56:38.480 work.
00:56:38.820 They were on a hot show for a year or whatever.
00:56:40.460 And, you know, now those people, you know, live in their cars and they're suicidal and,
00:56:44.440 you know, it's all over for them.
00:56:46.820 But, you know, but they're good to call and be like, God, I'm not them, huh?
00:56:50.360 You know, that's important to keep them around.
00:56:52.440 Someone, somewhere.
00:56:54.020 Yeah.
00:56:54.300 Someone, somewhere.
00:56:55.380 That's what I'm saying.
00:56:55.900 You got to keep them in your phone and be like, God, you're around.
00:56:58.540 You're still alive.
00:56:59.300 All right.
00:56:59.720 Well, when I first moved here, me and my buddy Paul, we didn't have an apartment yet.
00:57:04.180 So we slept in the McDonald's ball pit over off of Wilshire.
00:57:07.680 Yeah.
00:57:07.840 We jumped in there at night.
00:57:09.140 You're lying.
00:57:09.780 No, we jumped in there at night.
00:57:10.920 No.
00:57:11.400 Get in the ball pit because it was safe.
00:57:12.800 That was the biggest thing.
00:57:13.860 We tried to stay in a park.
00:57:15.220 Was it though?
00:57:16.300 Was it though?
00:57:16.780 Oh, it's safe in there.
00:57:17.300 That was like the lowest level of Jeffrey Epstein's Island, sleeping in a McDonald's ball pit.
00:57:21.420 It's like the poorest pedophile move.
00:57:23.320 Bro, but here's the crazy part.
00:57:24.120 We just sleep in the ball pit.
00:57:25.880 You know.
00:57:27.300 We take a public bus there.
00:57:29.040 The third night, bro, me and my buddy Paul are in there just laying and you would get like under 0.99
00:57:32.480 the balls. 0.98
00:57:32.860 The worst part was there's like a lot of hair and loose change. 0.99
00:57:35.240 Of course.
00:57:35.780 You're dead serious right now.
00:57:36.860 I'm dead serious.
00:57:37.560 This is amazing.
00:57:38.480 And the third night we're in there, we're talking just like we have been the past two
00:57:42.260 nights.
00:57:42.700 Some Asian guy is sleeping on the slide. 0.99
00:57:45.480 We didn't even fucking know. 0.99
00:57:46.580 Oh, my God. 0.99
00:57:48.720 Yo, that's what I was saying.
00:57:49.560 He's like, would you lie down?
00:57:52.280 Let me ask you a question.
00:57:53.520 Was there no security?
00:57:54.460 He was German Asian.
00:57:55.560 Did no one in the McDonald's care?
00:57:57.640 It was shut down.
00:57:59.000 How did you get in?
00:58:00.020 This one closed.
00:58:00.480 You just jump right over the fence and you're in the play area.
00:58:03.160 Oh, outdoor ball pit?
00:58:03.980 Oh, it's outdoor ball pit.
00:58:05.000 Yeah, not indoors. 1.00
00:58:06.160 You fuck. 1.00
00:58:06.420 Oh, dude. 1.00
00:58:07.120 I never saw an outdoor ball pit in my life.
00:58:09.000 Yeah. 0.98
00:58:09.320 And also, how the fuck is that safe? 0.99
00:58:11.220 You couple of Rothschilds, huh? 0.99
00:58:12.680 Yeah.
00:58:13.140 I've never seen animals.
00:58:15.260 Because first of all, you're in a place.
00:58:17.100 No one's going in there.
00:58:18.280 At what point did you say to yourself, this is not a sustainable course of action?
00:58:21.760 Oh, dude. 0.98
00:58:22.680 Like, at what point when you're under the balls and you're sleeping in some hair of whatever. 0.99
00:58:27.380 You keep your head out. 1.00
00:58:27.920 You keep your head out of the balls. 1.00
00:58:29.700 That's a real moment. 1.00
00:58:30.940 That's a real moment.
00:58:31.880 And you're like, one of those moments for me, I was Santa Claus in Harlem. 0.98
00:58:34.840 And I was getting shit on all day by, like, four-year-old kids. 0.99
00:58:39.020 And you can say black kids. 1.00
00:58:40.560 Yeah.
00:58:41.060 Well, some of them are Dominican.
00:58:43.200 But they were just roasting me. 0.95
00:58:44.980 Just shamelessly be.
00:58:46.440 None of them were happy to see Santa.
00:58:47.760 These are hardened little kids. 1.00
00:58:48.940 They're like, fuck you, you fat fuck. 1.00
00:58:50.420 I'm like, I'm Santa, you know? 1.00
00:58:52.140 Yeah.
00:58:52.500 And I would jingle the bell.
00:58:54.100 And then every now and then some drunk would, like, dance with me.
00:58:55.960 And I was like, this is a rough.
00:58:57.360 I hope comedy works out.
00:58:59.440 You know?
00:59:00.240 So that had to be the ball pit moment. 0.95
00:59:01.960 When your head's out of the balls, you're like, God, I hope this works out. 0.75
00:59:05.140 I just hated the fact that we were, I just didn't, like, there was a traffic. 0.98
00:59:09.420 It was right on Wilshire.
00:59:10.760 So it was, like, a lot of traffic.
00:59:11.840 That was the biggest problem, was the traffic?
00:59:13.720 I was still a little, I was younger, so I could handle the pressure of it.
00:59:17.040 But it just wasn't my favorite thing. 0.99
00:59:20.660 Fuck, what were we talking about, dude? 1.00
00:59:22.400 Like, everything since you slept in a ball pit is going to have been erased from my mind. 1.00
00:59:26.180 Oh, speaking of Asians, bro, we got a fucking Asian right here. 1.00
00:59:28.480 Let's hear this beautiful Viet. 0.99
00:59:30.160 Hey, what's up, guys?
00:59:30.940 So my question is for both you guys.
00:59:33.020 So if you guys have a chance to have an interview or a podcast with anyone, dead or alive, who would that be? 0.99
00:59:44.400 Fuck, man. 0.99
00:59:45.540 That question always sucks, I feel like. 1.00
00:59:48.120 No offense, man. 0.96
00:59:49.020 Sorry.
00:59:49.220 I shouldn't have said that to the guys right there. 0.98
00:59:52.320 It's a basic bitch question. 1.00
00:59:53.500 It's just, yeah, man. 1.00
00:59:54.600 It's a very basic bitch question. 1.00
00:59:56.180 Abraham Lincoln. 0.99
00:59:57.440 I don't want to lose.
00:59:58.240 You know?
00:59:58.940 Wesley Snipes.
01:00:00.220 Yeah.
01:00:01.440 You know, somebody else.
01:00:03.480 I would say either, in both of them, either Christopher Hitchens or Patrice O'Neal. 0.95
01:00:08.120 I would say Prince or fucking, I would say actually probably Michael Jackson or Michael Landon.
01:00:14.240 What would you talk to Michael about? 0.99
01:00:16.040 I would go in on him real hard about just seeing, you know, what his sexual preferences were.
01:00:22.200 Probably trying to really just chat about it.
01:00:23.840 And what about Michael Landon?
01:00:25.080 That's where I'm more perplexed about that.
01:00:27.320 I love Michael Landon, man.
01:00:28.200 Okay.
01:00:28.740 Interesting.
01:00:29.460 I'd do Nikola Tesla.
01:00:31.240 Oh, wow.
01:00:32.020 I mean, dude. 1.00
01:00:33.160 Damn. 1.00
01:00:34.520 Oh, my bad. 1.00
01:00:35.580 Do you know, because I don't even, do you know enough to even interview a guy like that?
01:00:38.940 I wouldn't even.
01:00:39.760 You might be right.
01:00:40.660 It's very tough, dude.
01:00:41.360 How much do I know about Tesla coils?
01:00:43.060 You know?
01:00:43.500 I don't know.
01:00:43.700 Are you going to bring Nikola Tesla back and be like, dude, the cars?
01:00:46.520 Dope.
01:00:47.080 I would be like, hey.
01:00:48.080 I wouldn't know what to say to him.
01:00:49.680 Hey, won't you fight Elon Musk on the undercar?
01:00:52.140 Yeah.
01:00:52.600 Oh, that's a nice.
01:00:53.480 Oh, you know what?
01:00:54.080 They said he died a virgin.
01:00:55.060 I think I'd probably just ask him straight up if he needed some things.
01:00:59.200 But virgin power is so strong, bro.
01:01:01.320 Is it?
01:01:02.040 Oh, dude.
01:01:02.900 That's crazy.
01:01:03.460 Oh, somebody parked a Volkswagen Rabbit on this guy's leg one time outside of our school 0.99
01:01:07.880 house, and I saw a virgin fucking lift it right off his leg. 1.00
01:01:11.400 Wild. 1.00
01:01:12.820 Yo. 0.99
01:01:13.240 And this was in fucking, who knows when it was. 0.99
01:01:15.460 Every scene is from like the movie Powder. 0.99
01:01:18.000 Every scene.
01:01:18.860 It's amazing.
01:01:19.500 What are you talking about?
01:01:20.420 Every scene of your life is like a movie.
01:01:22.080 You ever read stories like that?
01:01:22.640 I've never seen a virgin pick up a car.
01:01:24.860 Yeah.
01:01:25.340 They pick up AK-47s now.
01:01:27.220 That's the problem, bro.
01:01:28.580 Virgins now are picking up AR-15s.
01:01:30.780 Hopefully they start picking up cars again.
01:01:32.720 That would be nice. 1.00
01:01:33.920 They need to start passing out some pussy then, bro. 1.00
01:01:36.260 I agree with you. 1.00
01:01:36.960 Because they're shutting down all the pussy, bro. 1.00
01:01:38.680 That's who's doing it. 1.00
01:01:39.700 That's right.
01:01:40.280 We got a virgin right here. 1.00
01:01:41.480 Let's hear this young woman. 1.00
01:01:42.760 This is the farthest thing from a basic bitch question. 1.00
01:01:46.920 What's up, Theo? 0.98
01:01:47.800 This question's for all three of you guys.
01:01:50.100 You can't leave the room until you form a human centipede.
01:01:52.940 What's the order going to be?
01:01:54.680 Oh, my God. 1.00
01:01:56.420 Shit. 1.00
01:01:56.980 What are you on? 1.00
01:01:57.760 What website are you on, man?
01:01:59.780 These are our fans.
01:02:01.000 Yeah.
01:02:02.100 These are people coming in from 8chan to discuss.
01:02:05.860 It's 4chan now, dude.
01:02:07.240 Right.
01:02:07.500 They took four away.
01:02:11.680 We're eating cleanest, so I would probably say you up top, man.
01:02:14.640 Tight.
01:02:15.240 Tight.
01:02:15.740 You're up front.
01:02:16.640 I got to go in the back because I have the least amount of going on in my career.
01:02:20.420 That's true of the caboose, dude.
01:02:21.480 Yeah, I have the least amount going on. 0.99
01:02:22.980 My manager would be like, you're lucky to be there to eat whosoever ass. 1.00
01:02:28.160 They tell you to eat. 0.99
01:02:29.640 Don't start any problems.
01:02:31.480 That's the way he talks. 1.00
01:02:32.100 You're not eating the ass, bro. 1.00
01:02:33.520 You're just being there as a receptacle. 1.00
01:02:35.280 It's a human centipede, right? 0.98
01:02:36.460 Yeah, but don't get sexual. 1.00
01:02:37.660 We're there to fucking survive, dude. 0.99
01:02:38.900 Okay. 0.99
01:02:39.100 Well, you know what I mean.
01:02:39.520 I'm trying to get out of the room.
01:02:40.440 It's like an escape room.
01:02:41.460 This guy obviously works at the mall.
01:02:42.680 The middle person works at the mall.
01:02:46.040 Where do you think he even come up with a question like that?
01:02:47.860 He's just sitting at the mall all day smelling churros, thinking about what to ask.
01:02:51.420 The middle person dies quick, though, Theo, I think. 1.00
01:02:54.800 But I'll sacrifice myself just to get out of the fucking situation, bro. 0.99
01:02:57.080 Did you see that movie? 1.00
01:02:57.920 I never saw that movie.
01:02:58.540 Oh, because they're...
01:02:59.260 Why?
01:02:59.580 Because they're...
01:02:59.780 Oh, wait.
01:03:00.120 One of them dies quick.
01:03:01.720 Just like, you know, like biology.
01:03:04.340 Oh, interesting.
01:03:05.140 Yeah, you get a UTI.
01:03:05.920 You're too infected.
01:03:06.340 Yeah, you get a lot of UTIs.
01:03:08.460 By the way, I saw the movie.
01:03:09.600 Did you?
01:03:10.260 I didn't see the movie.
01:03:11.220 I didn't see it.
01:03:11.980 Is it brutal?
01:03:12.860 Great flick.
01:03:13.840 I want to watch.
01:03:14.560 Let's watch.
01:03:14.960 I want to watch.
01:03:15.940 I might watch.
01:03:16.900 Not now, but like tonight or something.
01:03:18.620 Great flick.
01:03:19.120 Go to our own respective places.
01:03:21.260 Back to our neutral corners.
01:03:22.320 I'm not saying let's just watch a movie for two hours right now.
01:03:24.700 Back to our neutral corners.
01:03:26.080 Yeah.
01:03:27.280 Wow.
01:03:29.080 That's crazy, man.
01:03:31.120 Hey, guys.
01:03:31.960 This is the last interruption, I promise.
01:03:35.280 But I got to sweeten the deal for you.
01:03:38.640 And I'm talking about honey.
01:03:40.760 Nine times out of ten, shopping online beats going to the store.
01:03:45.620 It's true.
01:03:46.500 You go to the store.
01:03:47.540 Who knows what could happen?
01:03:48.440 And you might fall down.
01:03:49.620 Oh, what's happening here?
01:03:51.360 The lettuce is bad.
01:03:53.260 Where are all the televisions I want?
01:03:56.400 So online, you know what you want.
01:03:58.540 You get it.
01:03:59.040 They bring it to you.
01:04:00.220 You at home, you were already ready to enjoy it.
01:04:03.580 Nine out of ten times, though, you're overpaying online for whatever you're buying.
01:04:09.040 That's why you need honey. 1.00
01:04:11.480 Honey is a free browser extension that saves you money everywhere you shop online.
01:04:16.700 That's right.
01:04:17.080 You just download honey on your computer.
01:04:20.820 It's there.
01:04:21.560 When you're right before you're buying something, honey lets you know if there's a better place at a better rate to get the same item.
01:04:30.260 Honey finds coupon codes and other discounts across the web and applies them automatically.
01:04:36.400 I don't know how it works, but honey saves me money where I already shop. 0.99
01:04:41.560 Places I've been shopping forever, suddenly I'm saving money.
01:04:44.220 Now, what I bought using honey, I'll tell you exactly what I bought, a set of skis.
01:04:50.000 So, that's good.
01:04:52.200 It's a lot.
01:04:56.580 It's a lot.
01:04:57.080 It's a great question.
01:04:57.860 It's a great question from a smart guy.
01:05:00.360 You called him a woman before.
01:05:02.560 Yeah.
01:05:02.900 One of you did.
01:05:03.600 He looks, he looks, that guy has that look.
01:05:05.980 People don't want to be a man. 0.98
01:05:07.160 Yeah, some people.
01:05:08.600 Actually, dude, a lot of guys just want to be men.
01:05:10.780 They're trying their best, man.
01:05:12.260 And they're really shy.
01:05:13.660 But what is a man?
01:05:14.580 Huh?
01:05:14.820 Like, what's a man?
01:05:15.760 I think a man is a guy that's trying to just look nice when he leaves the house and do pretty-
01:05:23.940 Does he use hand sanitizer stuff?
01:05:26.060 Do his best.
01:05:26.580 He can.
01:05:26.860 Yeah.
01:05:27.560 He can if he has it in his truck.
01:05:30.820 And if he doesn't have a truck, he's not a man.
01:05:33.700 Gotta have a truck.
01:05:35.220 I'm not saying that, dude, but I think it helps. 0.99
01:05:37.940 You can't be on a fucking bird scooter for fucking nine months out of the year. 0.99
01:05:41.640 100%. 1.00
01:05:41.960 Yeah, I agree with you.
01:05:44.300 You gotta have a cool job. 0.99
01:05:45.440 You can't be like a teacher or something dumb. 0.99
01:05:47.080 No, you could have a man teacher, but you gotta fucking dress still like a man and wear cologne. 1.00
01:05:51.720 I agree with you. 0.99
01:05:52.800 Okay. 1.00
01:05:53.320 If you wear cologne around children, dude, you're a fucking man, bro. 1.00
01:05:55.780 You're the guy. 1.00
01:05:56.380 If you walk through that hallway and it just suffocates people, you're cologne. 1.00
01:05:59.780 And you're fucking the Spanish teacher and everybody knows it. 1.00
01:06:03.300 Yeah. 1.00
01:06:03.540 I agree.
01:06:04.560 I agree.
01:06:05.460 Did you guys ever have any teachers hit on you?
01:06:07.360 Even after you were out of school?
01:06:10.620 Especially probably with your success.
01:06:12.300 Did you have any teachers that kind of reached out?
01:06:15.180 I had it.
01:06:16.380 I hit on the teachers.
01:06:17.620 That was risky, though.
01:06:19.280 Because were you successful and in high school at the same time?
01:06:21.220 No, no.
01:06:22.100 I was like a good football player.
01:06:23.660 Right.
01:06:23.840 So I kind of semi got the pass so I could say some things like, oh, I like your hair
01:06:29.780 today.
01:06:30.260 Yeah.
01:06:30.740 And she'd be like, yeah.
01:06:32.440 Take your seat.
01:06:33.160 And I'd be like, all right.
01:06:34.060 All right.
01:06:34.580 But we know what's up.
01:06:35.740 Yeah, we know what's happening.
01:06:36.660 But yo, I mean, who doesn't have that weird fetish where it's like, I would love to hook
01:06:40.340 up with one of my teachers.
01:06:41.600 Like, my biology teacher is a smoke show.
01:06:44.060 Yeah.
01:06:44.440 Yeah, she was bad.
01:06:46.020 I did cocaine with a substitute.
01:06:48.600 And that's all.
01:06:49.400 That's as far as I got.
01:06:50.800 How old were you?
01:06:53.380 I was maybe 18.
01:06:56.120 Maybe like the year I graduated high school.
01:06:58.500 We were doing coke with one of our substitutes.
01:07:01.120 And was he a homosexual or not? 0.99
01:07:02.560 No, it was a chick. 1.00
01:07:03.220 He was a woman.
01:07:03.740 Yeah.
01:07:04.260 Wow.
01:07:05.520 Subs of the end, dude.
01:07:06.480 What class? 1.00
01:07:07.700 She was an English sub, so she was an idiot. 1.00
01:07:09.980 Yeah. 1.00
01:07:11.660 So she wasn't smart. 0.68
01:07:13.000 She was probably trying to go out and sniff some coke. 1.00
01:07:15.240 And, you know, fuck her way into the lower middle class. 1.00
01:07:18.620 She was fuck her way into a little Levitt house in Long Island. 1.00
01:07:22.060 Good woman. 1.00
01:07:24.800 Oh, my God, bro.
01:07:25.900 You got to play Santa more often, dude. 1.00
01:07:28.200 I would love to watch the small black kids attack you. 1.00
01:07:31.120 They just roasted me. 1.00
01:07:32.620 They were brutal.
01:07:33.520 And here's the other thing.
01:07:34.160 I wasn't just Santa.
01:07:35.020 I was selling Obamacare.
01:07:36.720 Because the thing was that it was a health care truck. 1.00
01:07:39.460 Oh, Santa's got a fucking gimmick. 0.99
01:07:40.860 And you would have to, like, get them with the, they'd be like, oh, they're Santa. 0.99
01:07:43.720 Yeah, and then you'd get the kids in.
01:07:45.200 Then you'd grab their parents and be like.
01:07:46.460 That's called a bait and switch.
01:07:47.340 It's a bait and switch, big time.
01:07:48.600 Then you'd grab their parents and be like, listen, you're going to have a high deductible,
01:07:51.520 but it doesn't matter.
01:07:52.180 Just declare bankruptcy.
01:07:53.720 You don't have to give them a fake name anymore.
01:07:57.060 You know, and you'd have to explain to the kids, you know, like, this is a present that
01:08:01.100 you're not going to realize the importance of now.
01:08:02.700 Yeah.
01:08:03.300 So it was a dark time.
01:08:06.100 I had fun with it, though.
01:08:07.080 You had fun with it.
01:08:07.620 I was younger.
01:08:08.180 I was doing comedy. 0.97
01:08:08.900 My life's shitty. 1.00
01:08:09.700 Your life's been a real piece of shit. 1.00
01:08:11.240 It's been something. 1.00
01:08:12.780 Okay.
01:08:13.160 You know?
01:08:13.680 I never slept in a ball pit, but I'm not against it.
01:08:16.000 Like, I'm not opposed to sleeping in a ball pit.
01:08:17.280 Yeah, but still, man.
01:08:19.000 They were brutal little kids.
01:08:21.000 Yeah.
01:08:21.260 Oh, I could see that.
01:08:22.140 Dude, I was in Vietnam once.
01:08:23.380 I'm going to let a couple of kids cut my hair, right?
01:08:25.080 I thought it'd be, like, a fun thing to do.
01:08:26.480 Something different for them.
01:08:27.520 Yeah. 1.00
01:08:27.760 And this one asshole fucking kid, bro, instead of trying to make it look nice, just fucking 1.00
01:08:33.240 cut a bunch of it off. 1.00
01:08:33.940 Yeah, they're demon little kids. 0.98
01:08:36.540 Yeah.
01:08:37.240 So that hit me hard.
01:08:38.420 Nick, let's throw a topic out there.
01:08:39.420 You got a couple topics, man, and we'll get through this.
01:08:41.400 Yeah.
01:08:42.560 Let's see.
01:08:43.880 Prince Harry responded to criticism.
01:08:46.060 He took a private plane four times in 11 days with his family, and people took umbrage
01:08:51.700 with it because he's considered an ambassador for climate change awareness.
01:08:54.660 He responded back, said, I came here by commercial.
01:08:59.000 I spent 99% of my life traveling the world by commercial.
01:09:02.500 Occasionally, there needs to be an opportunity based on a unique circumstance to ensure my
01:09:06.000 family are safe, and it's genuinely as simple as that.
01:09:10.120 I mean, I think you're Prince Harry, man.
01:09:11.940 You could do whatever you want, I think, while you're still the prince.
01:09:14.320 What does an ambassador for climate change awareness even mean?
01:09:16.560 I don't know what that means.
01:09:17.420 Nothing.
01:09:17.560 Somebody that's hoping it's actually real.
01:09:18.880 What do you do?
01:09:19.040 You show up somewhere, and you're like, by the way, we got to, you know, we got to
01:09:24.640 get these glaciers back in order, and then you get out of there?
01:09:27.900 What are you even doing?
01:09:28.760 To be honest, the article said ambassador for climate change, which sounds like you're trying
01:09:33.480 to make climate change happen, so I added the-
01:09:36.220 This is a thing that people, elites, have to do now that they have no interest in.
01:09:40.200 Like, if somebody goes to him and goes, you got to get out.
01:09:42.760 Dude, the planet is falling apart.
01:09:44.980 You got to, you're the ambassador for climate change.
01:09:46.860 Look at these six seagulls I got on my phone.
01:09:48.900 Yeah, just go over there and take a few pictures in Greenland, and, you know, let everybody
01:09:53.560 know we're doing the right thing, you know?
01:09:55.500 That's crazy.
01:09:56.100 Tell the poor people to, you know- 0.99
01:09:57.880 Plus, Michigan, they're hoping for a little climate change.
01:10:00.360 Yeah.
01:10:00.760 You're telling me we get eight extra degrees in the winter, bro?
01:10:03.580 Yeah. 0.99
01:10:03.980 Fucking sign me up, dude. 0.99
01:10:05.760 Right. 1.00
01:10:05.940 Fuck a penguin, bro. 1.00
01:10:06.980 Right. 1.00
01:10:07.340 You know what I'm saying? 1.00
01:10:08.180 Fuck a penguin there. 1.00
01:10:09.380 Who cares? 1.00
01:10:10.220 Yeah, I want to be able to go outside in the yard on Christmas.
01:10:12.480 Like, that's the thing.
01:10:13.340 Climate change is going to, it's definitely going to really hurt probably millions.
01:10:16.820 Right.
01:10:17.300 But it's also going to-
01:10:18.820 It's going to help the 48,000 people that live in Mission.
01:10:21.020 It's going to restructure the value of real estate.
01:10:27.260 Around the Great Lakes.
01:10:28.300 So, suddenly, the people that have all the inland real estate, there are people like, oh, you 1.00
01:10:31.600 live in a shit hole, man. 0.98
01:10:32.940 Yeah, everything's going to move in because Manhattan and Miami are underwater. 1.00
01:10:36.400 Yeah.
01:10:36.700 Frozen or underwater. 1.00
01:10:37.620 You're fucked. 1.00
01:10:38.300 Now who's fucked, bro? 1.00
01:10:39.320 Yeah. 0.99
01:10:39.740 Now Kansas.
01:10:40.660 Look how rich you are.
01:10:41.720 Yeah.
01:10:41.900 You can't swim.
01:10:42.900 They're buying in Montana.
01:10:43.480 A lot of other people are buying stuff in Montana right now.
01:10:45.760 Yeah.
01:10:46.260 Huge.
01:10:47.200 So, I'm just saying, what goes around comes around, dude.
01:10:49.700 You can't win them all.
01:10:50.760 So, it's like, you know, you get ice, sometimes you don't.
01:10:54.900 That's the way to-
01:10:55.680 That's probably our official policy on climate change now with Trump.
01:10:59.600 I think Trump would be like, sometimes you get ice, sometimes you don't.
01:11:02.460 Next question. 1.00
01:11:03.240 But first of all, then you have shit like the Ice Age. 1.00
01:11:05.320 Those fucking little animals are having a blast. 1.00
01:11:07.360 Did you see that? 1.00
01:11:07.980 They made a second one.
01:11:08.880 It's a fun as hell.
01:11:09.780 They made a second one.
01:11:10.840 Yeah.
01:11:11.180 Yeah.
01:11:11.420 Everyone's fine. 0.97
01:11:12.200 How fucking bad was it? 0.98
01:11:13.560 How bad could it be? 0.99
01:11:14.860 Yeah.
01:11:15.000 It's a big snow day.
01:11:16.040 For a whole age.
01:11:18.320 Yeah.
01:11:18.620 Giving Dennis Leary a job.
01:11:20.380 Yeah. 1.00
01:11:20.700 No shit, huh? 1.00
01:11:22.320 I'm with you. 1.00
01:11:22.700 Climate change is keeping a lot of fucking people in business, dude. 0.99
01:11:24.740 I'm with you, dude. 0.99
01:11:25.880 Or non-climate change.
01:11:27.000 I don't even know which is which anymore.
01:11:28.180 What else we got, man?
01:11:29.040 Over the weekend, the Boston Straight Pride Parade actually happened.
01:11:33.480 About 200 people marched and 600 protesters showed up.
01:11:37.900 Three dozen people were arrested on various charges, including disorderly conduct.
01:11:42.900 Dude, this is just fun.
01:11:44.020 People need something to do.
01:11:45.280 People need stuff to do.
01:11:46.600 Yeah.
01:11:46.980 People get mad at these skirmishes in Portland and stuff.
01:11:49.500 People need to dress up and beat each other up with batons and shields.
01:11:53.920 This is what it is.
01:11:55.400 Not everybody's going to build a business or have a family.
01:11:59.720 Agreed.
01:11:59.900 Some people need to just let it out.
01:12:03.000 Let it out.
01:12:03.980 I love it.
01:12:04.540 It is what it is.
01:12:05.780 I mean, just have fun.
01:12:07.880 Televise it.
01:12:08.820 Yeah.
01:12:09.180 Just write.
01:12:10.000 Right.
01:12:10.180 Oh, that'd be like a sick pay-per-view.
01:12:11.920 Yeah.
01:12:12.200 And by the way, this is what I would be doing.
01:12:13.840 I'd be fighting people in the streets.
01:12:15.480 Yeah.
01:12:15.880 Like LARPing.
01:12:16.920 Right.
01:12:17.000 Like real LARPing.
01:12:18.120 That's what they're doing.
01:12:18.620 That's what I'd be doing if I wasn't doing this.
01:12:20.140 Right.
01:12:20.560 There's nothing to do in Ohio.
01:12:22.140 There's nothing to do.
01:12:23.180 Oh, you got to.
01:12:23.520 Well, there's more to do than LARP and fight people in the street, I'm sure.
01:12:26.740 Not that I remember.
01:12:27.740 Not that I remember.
01:12:28.200 There's a few businesses.
01:12:29.760 You can sell cars.
01:12:31.680 You can have a car dealership in Columbus, Ohio. 0.69
01:12:33.600 Be killing it right now.
01:12:34.300 Alcoholics Anonymous was started in Akron, dude. 0.98
01:12:36.320 That's huge. 1.00
01:12:36.640 There's tons of shit to do. 0.99
01:12:37.580 There's the Rock on the Range music festival where all those families go vape together and watch Machine 1.00
01:12:41.480 Gun Kelly.
01:12:42.260 Yeah, dude.
01:12:42.720 You know, Yellow Wolf.
01:12:45.660 That's true.
01:12:46.300 Yeah.
01:12:46.540 Yeah.
01:12:46.900 Yeah.
01:12:47.140 We love MGK.
01:12:47.860 We can watch them at MGK.
01:12:49.060 Yeah, it was great.
01:12:49.580 I watched.
01:12:50.000 I did comedy there.
01:12:50.900 No one wanted that.
01:12:51.860 Really?
01:12:52.600 They didn't want that.
01:12:53.960 It's, well, I mean, nobody's there for that.
01:12:55.520 I mean, we were in a tent.
01:12:56.340 We were in like the comedy tent.
01:12:57.720 And then MGK and those guys were in the other thing.
01:12:59.620 We didn't even want to do our, like, can we just go watch the show?
01:13:03.540 And obviously we had to, we were a tent for people that were like coming, like they would 1.00
01:13:07.800 go vomit in the port-a-potty and then come back to our tent to just get their bearings.
01:13:12.660 Okay.
01:13:13.060 And then go back.
01:13:13.780 You were like an ancillary.
01:13:14.780 Yeah, to get back to the main show.
01:13:16.820 So it wasn't, it wasn't my best set.
01:13:19.100 Like a bathroom.
01:13:19.800 You guys were almost like a bathroom.
01:13:20.880 We were absolutely a bathroom.
01:13:22.820 Yeah.
01:13:23.180 And I would do it this year.
01:13:24.420 But it was a fun, the concert was great.
01:13:25.940 Yeah.
01:13:28.220 Straight proper aid.
01:13:29.200 I don't know if I really.
01:13:30.660 Why are there straight people marching? 0.98
01:13:33.400 Like.
01:13:33.680 I think, well, I definitely think that straight men feel kind of attacked.
01:13:37.040 I think there's a lot of men that feel really attacked probably.
01:13:39.060 Especially by like the news and stuff like that.
01:13:41.160 Like if you're a straight white, if you're a straight white Christian man, you're definitely, 1.00
01:13:45.940 you're a complete piece of shit. 1.00
01:13:48.040 You have no value anymore. 1.00
01:13:49.200 You ruined the world.
01:13:51.080 I think there's a lot of that kind of just loose energy kind of milling around.
01:13:54.760 But it's not like, it's not like an oppressed group. 0.99
01:13:56.920 So like politely, like fucking. 0.99
01:13:59.340 Right. 1.00
01:13:59.780 Suck a dick. 1.00
01:14:00.740 It's not an oppressed group. 1.00
01:14:01.960 But I think it's still.
01:14:03.080 So right.
01:14:03.520 So most people aren't doing it.
01:14:05.220 But then you.
01:14:05.560 That's why only 200 people show up.
01:14:07.280 And 600 protesters, by the way.
01:14:08.960 Yeah.
01:14:09.340 Oh, yeah.
01:14:09.740 And the protesters are the ones that make the whole event.
01:14:12.140 Like if they didn't show up, no one would care.
01:14:14.000 Definitely.
01:14:14.500 Literally no one would care.
01:14:15.420 They have these big marches where four Nazis show up.
01:14:17.980 And then 30,000 protesters show up and they're like, we're defending civilization from these four. 0.90
01:14:23.880 And it's just like four fat guys with helmets they taped onto their head with like, you know, 0.90
01:14:29.820 like weird white supremacist signs. 0.71
01:14:32.040 And they're being guarded by like 20 police officers to protect their free speech.
01:14:36.480 And they're like, they just have the signs up.
01:14:38.160 And then there's like 30,000 lesbians with green hair just throwing rocks at these four guys.
01:14:43.540 And it's like.
01:14:44.000 But also trying to steal their outfit.
01:14:45.460 Yeah.
01:14:46.020 Right.
01:14:46.280 And it's just like, oh, this is civilized.
01:14:49.200 And they throw milkshakes at each other.
01:14:51.140 Yo, I heard.
01:14:51.720 I heard they fill those milkshakes with quick cement, quick dry cement.
01:14:54.460 Oh, no.
01:14:54.580 But it's like.
01:14:55.140 You heard that?
01:14:56.240 I love that.
01:14:56.940 Yeah.
01:14:57.060 They look like milkshakes.
01:14:58.040 And they're really just like hard little cylindrical cement.
01:15:00.800 Wow.
01:15:01.420 A milkshake brings all the boys to the construction site. 0.98
01:15:03.580 What a fat country. 0.64
01:15:04.940 Yeah. 0.54
01:15:05.120 That we're having a dessert themed revolution.
01:15:08.460 People chucking brownies at each other.
01:15:10.540 Oh, dude. 1.00
01:15:10.720 My cousin fucking took a creme brulee to the fucking sternum the other day. 1.00
01:15:13.920 Really? 1.00
01:15:14.600 What happened?
01:15:15.220 It's been the same. 1.00
01:15:15.680 Just shit got out of hand. 1.00
01:15:16.820 Yeah. 1.00
01:15:18.140 It's fucking great, though. 0.96
01:15:19.780 Bro, it's definitely the most. 0.98
01:15:20.620 The creme brulees are so good.
01:15:21.980 Bro, it's entertaining, right?
01:15:23.680 Now, who got them?
01:15:24.800 Can you say?
01:15:25.240 It's entertaining, huh?
01:15:26.280 Can you say?
01:15:26.740 A black woman. 1.00
01:15:27.700 Interesting.
01:15:28.400 Great.
01:15:29.200 That's what I was picturing before you vocalized it.
01:15:31.940 I wanted to make sure I wasn't racist.
01:15:33.720 No, you're not right.
01:15:34.820 Bro, it's not racist just if a black person's involved in something, it's not racist, bro.
01:15:37.900 I agree with you.
01:15:38.640 Otherwise, the whole NFL would be racist, or the whole everything would be.
01:15:41.620 I agree.
01:15:41.840 So, he just popped off quick. 1.00
01:15:44.060 Shit popped off, dude. 1.00
01:15:45.380 There was two restaurants near each other, and they were sharing parking. 1.00
01:15:47.240 This incredibly comes in a dish, though.
01:15:49.180 Yeah.
01:15:49.400 So, we got hit with a dish, too.
01:15:50.560 That's the thing.
01:15:50.840 A ramekin.
01:15:51.100 Got hit with a little ramekin.
01:15:51.760 Ooh, see, that hurts.
01:15:52.800 Took a ramekin to the sternum.
01:15:54.540 Sternum, bro.
01:15:55.120 And that hurts.
01:15:56.300 You ever hit the sternum real hard?
01:15:57.980 Yeah. 0.99
01:15:58.060 It fucking hurts, bro. 1.00
01:15:59.980 Reminds you who your parents are, suddenly. 1.00
01:16:02.140 Yeah, it's true. 1.00
01:16:02.980 Both of my parents flash before my eyes every time I get fucking punched in the chest. 0.99
01:16:05.840 You ever forget, in general, who your parents are? 1.00
01:16:08.820 Yeah.
01:16:08.980 Yeah, my dad's been dead a long time.
01:16:10.060 The other day, people was like, oh, what's up with your dad?
01:16:11.900 And I was like, where has my dad been?
01:16:13.540 And then I was like, oh, he's deceased.
01:16:15.400 Where is he?
01:16:16.240 So, sometimes, yeah, I'll miss a frame or two.
01:16:20.120 What else we got, Nick?
01:16:21.460 Well, I think we'd be remiss if we let Tim get out of here without letting us know what
01:16:25.400 really happened with Jeffrey Epstein.
01:16:27.240 You seem to be encyclopedic.
01:16:29.140 Yeah, I mean, you know. 1.00
01:16:30.000 And you're rich enough where you could get involved in this shit. 1.00
01:16:32.160 Yeah. 1.00
01:16:32.460 So, yeah, let's hear what's going on.
01:16:33.420 We'll never know.
01:16:34.700 I mean, that's that.
01:16:35.180 I mean, he was clearly either murdered or allowed to kill himself.
01:16:37.720 I mean, you have narcoleptic prison guards.
01:16:39.800 You have malfunctioning cameras.
01:16:41.580 You have him making a will the day before he died.
01:16:44.760 You have him being taken off suicide watch 48 hours before he died.
01:16:48.620 But, I mean, if you don't believe there's something going on, you're in on it.
01:16:53.420 Yeah.
01:16:53.680 That's the way I feel like.
01:16:54.820 If you don't believe it's a conspiracy.
01:16:55.600 Yeah, him buying a Sorry I'm Dead shirt on Amazon two days before.
01:16:59.900 Yeah.
01:17:00.420 I mean, him having dinner last night in West Hollywood.
01:17:03.860 That was a little suspicious.
01:17:05.920 Having a dinner party called Welcome Jeffrey to the Hood.
01:17:09.120 That was odd.
01:17:10.480 His new job at the Disney Channel.
01:17:12.500 Questionable.
01:17:13.600 Questionable.
01:17:14.640 But that's what happened.
01:17:15.680 You'll never know what happened.
01:17:16.780 Football season's coming.
01:17:17.780 No one cares.
01:17:18.260 Most people want to watch The Bachelor.
01:17:19.720 They don't care. 0.99
01:17:21.480 Politicians are having sex with kids on islands. 0.99
01:17:23.760 That's a fact. 0.99
01:17:24.560 And now no one cares.
01:17:25.940 It's like, doesn't matter anymore.
01:17:27.160 You talk to somebody in the supermarket.
01:17:28.460 They're like, that was last week.
01:17:30.940 I'm like, yo.
01:17:31.720 So politicians are like banging kids on an island.
01:17:34.000 They're like, get out of here.
01:17:35.100 It was last week.
01:17:36.040 I'm over that.
01:17:37.140 It's just a spectrum, man.
01:17:38.700 Yeah.
01:17:38.980 It's a spectrum, dude.
01:17:39.760 It is what it is, man.
01:17:40.660 These people aren't getting so rich so that they can just keep eating steaks. 1.00
01:17:43.860 They want to get involved in shit. 1.00
01:17:45.460 It is true. 1.00
01:17:45.900 They want to fight people from other countries. 1.00
01:17:48.460 Yeah.
01:17:48.760 That's right.
01:17:49.720 That's how it starts and it escalates, man.
01:17:51.560 It's crazy.
01:17:52.720 I'm just – to me, it makes me happy thinking of Bill and Hillary Clinton sitting in their
01:17:57.980 home the day he was killed, whether they knew – 0.89
01:18:00.240 Are you pro-choice or pro-life when it comes to young children having to have sex with rich
01:18:05.220 people?
01:18:05.660 Here's the thing.
01:18:06.240 I don't think young children should have to have sex with rich people, but I don't
01:18:10.000 want any more comics. 0.58
01:18:11.680 Right.
01:18:12.020 You know what I mean?
01:18:13.060 Yeah.
01:18:13.220 So those kids got to do something.
01:18:14.840 I think you bring back the workhouses.
01:18:17.080 I think what China's doing right now is very positive with the kids, getting them in working
01:18:20.480 young, teach them the value of a dollar.
01:18:22.480 Oh, and do the balancing on each other?
01:18:24.440 Yeah.
01:18:24.820 I like all that.
01:18:25.600 Get the kids in gymnastics. 1.00
01:18:26.580 No, they shouldn't have to fuck Bill Clinton and Alan Dershowitz. 1.00
01:18:29.140 Well, you fucking ruined it. 1.00
01:18:34.480 You ruined the episode. 0.99
01:18:35.820 Sorry.
01:18:39.640 I may feel differently when I get successful, though.
01:18:41.820 That might be one of those things where when I get really successful, I'm like, what was
01:18:45.180 I thinking? 0.95
01:18:46.280 I was such a loser. 0.97
01:18:48.500 Who knows? 0.53
01:18:49.820 Who would be in the undercard of your bouts?
01:18:52.680 I want him on now.
01:18:54.020 Yeah.
01:18:54.700 Who would he fight, though?
01:18:55.560 I don't know.
01:18:56.080 That's a good question.
01:18:56.720 Let's have it be a woman. 1.00
01:18:57.480 Let's start small. 0.99
01:18:58.400 No, it needs to be another gay man because we can bring back the gay boxing. 1.00
01:19:01.780 What about a woman who's now a man? 1.00
01:19:05.820 Can I fight a woman who now identifies as a man? 1.00
01:19:10.740 I think you guys can if you wear matching outfits.
01:19:14.000 Let me tell you right now.
01:19:14.820 I will do that. 1.00
01:19:15.460 Please beat your people. 0.99
01:19:16.700 I will do that. 0.99
01:19:18.840 Everyone's good with that.
01:19:19.800 I'm in.
01:19:20.840 My agent will be so excited.
01:19:23.120 They'll be like, how was that podcast?
01:19:24.380 I'm like, you're never going to believe it.
01:19:25.520 I'm fighting a trans person at the Staples Center. 0.99
01:19:28.940 You're like, thank God.
01:19:31.180 You're like me.
01:19:31.720 Thank God.
01:19:32.480 This is a good year.
01:19:33.540 This is a good year. 0.99
01:19:34.580 Me and Chelsea Handler about to fucking go totally. 0.99
01:19:36.760 Dude, I would love to hit Chelsea Handler. 1.00
01:19:39.320 Bro, she's two arguments away from dropping a set of nuts. 0.99
01:19:41.660 Dude, I saw her on a plane the other day and she just, she looks mean. 1.00
01:19:45.020 Oh, yeah.
01:19:45.460 She looks so mean.
01:19:46.800 Bro, why do some rich people get so mean?
01:19:49.820 I don't know, but she looks super mean, dude. 1.00
01:19:52.420 She looks like somebody would kick a service dog. 1.00
01:19:54.520 Yeah.
01:19:54.940 Yeah.
01:19:55.660 She's got that energy. 0.97
01:19:57.200 People get lonely and mean, man.
01:19:58.720 That's what happens, dude.
01:19:59.860 Money doesn't make everything.
01:20:00.880 It really just doesn't make everything great, you know?
01:20:02.900 No, it doesn't.
01:20:03.920 It helps sometimes.
01:20:05.100 It helps things, yeah.
01:20:06.060 What they say, somebody said it helped make you warm in the winter and cool in the summer.
01:20:09.500 That's what somebody said.
01:20:10.480 Right.
01:20:11.340 That's a poor person saying that.
01:20:13.540 That's a homeless person's idea of what money is.
01:20:16.040 You get cool and warm.
01:20:18.180 It's like, no, there's many other things you get.
01:20:21.480 That's an insane, that's like the lowest level of what money can do.
01:20:26.120 Do you think fame?
01:20:26.900 You get water when you're thirsty and food when you're hungry.
01:20:31.660 Oh, money.
01:20:32.900 Oh, man.
01:20:33.580 You get mittens in December.
01:20:36.920 What about fame?
01:20:39.600 Let's talk for a minute about fame and then we'll get out of here.
01:20:41.640 What about fame?
01:20:42.420 Popularity.
01:20:42.800 What do you think about it, Logan?
01:20:44.160 Man, it's, I mean.
01:20:45.700 Do you worry about it?
01:20:47.220 Are there things you see where it could get out of hand?
01:20:51.160 For sure, yeah.
01:20:52.800 Yeah, I mean, you know, we've all seen it.
01:20:54.880 Like fame gets to your head and then all of a sudden like these young child actors are
01:20:58.160 doing drugs and partying way too early and they grow up way too fast and then they
01:21:03.040 don't know who they are when they're like 22, 23 when you're like supposed to be discovering
01:21:06.720 yourself.
01:21:07.300 So, yeah, I mean, it depends on the person.
01:21:11.060 Obviously, it's all circumstantial to me, you know?
01:21:13.660 I mean.
01:21:14.060 But is there a difference between like what you do in working in an environment where it's
01:21:18.500 a little bit more people get an idea of who you are than just an idea?
01:21:23.180 I think so.
01:21:23.800 Just a, like a, like just a worshipping of an image of someone.
01:21:30.260 I feel like any sense?
01:21:31.420 Yeah, yeah. 0.99
01:21:32.000 So, my shit's like relatable. 0.99
01:21:34.180 I'm approachable. 0.99
01:21:35.320 What you see on the screen is pretty much what you get in real life, you know?
01:21:37.840 So, people, oh, yo, Logan, what's good?
01:21:39.280 I dab him up.
01:21:39.840 I say what's up.
01:21:40.460 We joke about whatever.
01:21:41.980 And that's the new fame.
01:21:43.000 Like the old fame is almost creepy.
01:21:44.760 Like the old actors who you don't know anything about.
01:21:47.560 Actors.
01:21:48.080 It's kind of creepy, right?
01:21:49.360 Because it's like, you're so used to like guys like him or you or anybody that is a 1.00
01:21:54.100 platform being very open and public.
01:21:56.120 So, when those, like when you have actors that aren't like that, it's kind of strange.
01:21:59.700 Like that type.
01:22:00.200 You remember seeing, everyone's had this experience in LA where you know this actor who's got the
01:22:06.360 most, the bubbliest personality on screen.
01:22:08.680 Yeah. 1.00
01:22:08.960 And then you say hi to him in real life and they suck. 0.97
01:22:11.640 Yeah, the kid from Young Sheldon. 1.00
01:22:12.880 Suck the life out of you. 1.00
01:22:14.020 The kid from Young Sheldon? 1.00
01:22:14.860 Piece of shit. 1.00
01:22:15.640 Literal piece of shit. 1.00
01:22:17.420 And I hate his guts. 1.00
01:22:18.840 I was like, yo, what up, Sheldon? 0.98
01:22:20.140 He just stared at me. 1.00
01:22:21.120 And I was like, I'll kick you in the neck. 1.00
01:22:23.900 You know what I mean? 1.00
01:22:25.340 Hey, can you kick people in the neck? 0.99
01:22:27.540 I could try. 0.99
01:22:28.340 I would have to get a trainer. 0.72
01:22:29.240 Dude, a gay guy, you can do a lot more stuff. 0.98
01:22:31.400 And I know, I'm not just saying you're a gay guy. 0.97
01:22:32.580 I know you're a lot of different stuff. 1.00
01:22:33.920 But you can, as a gay man, you can kick somebody in the fucking neck and you're kind of okay 1.00
01:22:38.520 with it. 1.00
01:22:38.800 I don't think a straight man or, you know.
01:22:40.740 I'm not the type of gay guy to get away with that. 0.99
01:22:42.400 Like if the Jussie Smollett hate crime people happen to me, people will be like, oh, good. 0.52
01:22:46.980 Like if they showed my face, they'd be like, two guys hit him.
01:22:49.240 They'd be like, good.
01:22:50.640 No news story.
01:22:51.960 Well, good.
01:22:52.740 I'm glad he got hit.
01:22:54.400 And that, and next. 0.99
01:22:55.860 So it's like certain gay guys get away with it. 0.92
01:22:58.160 Certain gay guys, they're like, yeah, oh, good. 0.87
01:23:00.540 You know? 0.99
01:23:01.000 We need more gay bank robbers and stuff. 1.00
01:23:02.780 Why aren't you guys doing more? 0.99
01:23:03.200 I always wanted more gay gang leaders. 0.97
01:23:05.060 Yeah. 0.98
01:23:05.460 Like that's what I wanted. 1.00
01:23:06.360 Gay criminals. 1.00
01:23:07.140 Gay gangsters. 1.00
01:23:07.820 That's real equality. 0.99
01:23:09.200 Dude, that's what I'm saying, man. 1.00
01:23:10.260 A lot of gay guys are just kind of milling around the outskirts of like real estate and fucking 1.00
01:23:14.580 I know they're trying to live these like posh lives. 1.00
01:23:16.580 I'm like, get in the game.
01:23:17.560 Yeah. 1.00
01:23:17.720 Where are these real motherfuckers? 1.00
01:23:19.080 I don't want a gay dude fucking milking animals. 1.00
01:23:20.880 I know. 1.00
01:23:21.140 I want putting a Glock in someone's mouth. 0.99
01:23:23.240 Take the money. 0.99
01:23:24.400 It's going to happen.
01:23:25.220 It's going to come.
01:23:25.900 Good.
01:23:26.340 Yeah.
01:23:26.900 I think they're already there, man.
01:23:28.100 Yeah.
01:23:28.280 They're already there.
01:23:29.120 Yeah.
01:23:29.280 We probably just don't know.
01:23:30.180 Yeah.
01:23:30.260 We don't.
01:23:30.580 You don't know.
01:23:30.920 Oh, that's true.
01:23:31.620 That's true.
01:23:32.040 We just don't know.
01:23:32.620 There's a lot of dudes in the closet.
01:23:33.900 Those are the, you know, a lot of closeted guys.
01:23:36.300 Yeah.
01:23:36.480 Yeah. 1.00
01:23:36.640 Well, Tim, you shit on power. 1.00
01:23:38.020 The lead of the Mexican cartel is gay in the show. 1.00
01:23:41.240 I didn't say, I don't shit on it. 1.00
01:23:42.360 I said it's for people with 75 IQs and that is a fact. 0.99
01:23:45.540 It's for a simpler group of people.
01:23:47.260 It is not for people that demand a lot from entertainment.
01:23:50.180 Yeah.
01:23:50.400 It's from people that are like, ooh, that's a gangster and that's a gangster and then the
01:23:53.700 gangsters fight.
01:23:54.600 And there's nothing wrong with that.
01:23:55.980 Yeah. 0.99
01:23:56.320 But it's a show for retarded people. 1.00
01:23:58.640 Yeah. 1.00
01:23:58.760 It's a dumb show. 1.00
01:24:00.720 A lot of adults that drink juice boxes. 1.00
01:24:02.400 It's a very dumb show. 1.00
01:24:04.440 Yeah. 1.00
01:24:04.680 It's very dumb and the people who write it are dumb. 1.00
01:24:07.020 It's very simple. 1.00
01:24:07.700 Hey, hey, hey.
01:24:08.400 Yeah.
01:24:08.780 I'm a gangster.
01:24:09.640 We're going to build an empire.
01:24:11.660 Okay.
01:24:12.220 Black History Month.
01:24:13.340 Here we go.
01:24:14.760 What is it about?
01:24:15.520 What's it even about?
01:24:16.360 Literally.
01:24:17.100 It's just about these two kids who grew up together.
01:24:19.420 It sounds horrible.
01:24:19.700 It's just about.
01:24:20.620 Immediately.
01:24:21.380 It's just about.
01:24:22.620 You're lowering our expectations.
01:24:24.000 We already have none.
01:24:24.980 It's actually about two guys who grew up together and they sell drugs.
01:24:29.000 Oh my God.
01:24:30.120 No.
01:24:31.160 I had no idea.
01:24:32.100 It gets more interesting.
01:24:32.460 But the guy who he grew up with, the girl that he was in love with when he was younger,
01:24:37.940 she works for the FBI and they start dating again.
01:24:41.980 So it's like Homeland?
01:24:42.980 It's like Billions and Homeland and every other show.
01:24:45.440 Yeah.
01:24:45.560 But before they did it.
01:24:46.720 This was like 2011 when it started.
01:24:48.440 Sounds good.
01:24:49.260 Yeah.
01:24:49.420 I'll start watching that.
01:24:51.940 I'll just want to.
01:24:52.580 I'll start watching that in the break room at Arby's with the rest of the crew.
01:24:56.220 Bro, I want to say this, man.
01:25:01.540 One of the.
01:25:03.260 Sorry.
01:25:03.720 Who is it though?
01:25:04.920 It's my manager.
01:25:05.680 I think he heard that I was fighting a trans person.
01:25:07.600 He's very excited.
01:25:08.520 How do you know it's your manager?
01:25:09.940 He doesn't even have the number saved, by the way.
01:25:11.700 Yeah.
01:25:11.760 No, it's just in New York City.
01:25:12.740 I'm not going to.
01:25:13.200 I'm going to fire him soon.
01:25:14.100 He's not getting his numbers.
01:25:15.020 Yeah.
01:25:15.440 Dude, if your manager.
01:25:16.120 He does nothing. 0.96
01:25:16.820 If he has time to call you during the day, dude, he's obviously fucking not that busy. 0.90
01:25:19.860 No, he does nothing. 0.87
01:25:20.780 Yeah.
01:25:21.160 He'll call me.
01:25:21.920 Oh, it's crazy, man.
01:25:22.840 He'll call me from vacation and start talking about his vacation. 0.99
01:25:25.300 I'm like, can you get me a fucking job, man, please? 0.99
01:25:28.060 Yeah. 0.99
01:25:28.800 He just goes, it's great.
01:25:29.840 That's all he goes.
01:25:30.320 He goes, it's great.
01:25:31.260 It's great.
01:25:32.100 I'll talk to him.
01:25:32.720 I go, it's great.
01:25:33.260 I go, what does Comedy Central think?
01:25:34.820 He goes, they don't want anything to do with it.
01:25:37.280 And he goes, it's great.
01:25:38.360 I think it's great.
01:25:39.140 And it's like, all right, thanks.
01:25:40.520 Why is he talking like he's playing hide and go secret?
01:25:42.280 He just talked.
01:25:43.080 He's the last manager from the 90s.
01:25:44.560 He wears white pants.
01:25:46.180 He has me, Colin Quinn.
01:25:47.440 He has good people.
01:25:48.280 He's just out of it.
01:25:49.960 He didn't know Rogan was a popular podcast.
01:25:52.240 He's like, he's like out of it.
01:25:54.060 He's checked out.
01:25:54.880 Do you think going back to like the, the fame and the, that like it's, yeah, there's
01:25:59.460 something different about like Hollywood fame and about fame, popularity from YouTube.
01:26:03.400 It's almost like they're two different things a little bit.
01:26:05.160 For sure.
01:26:05.540 Yeah, for sure.
01:26:06.360 Yeah.
01:26:06.940 YouTube is weird because the drug that you get from, from getting views and likes and
01:26:14.000 subscribers and followers is it reaffirms everything that you're doing.
01:26:19.100 And so, you know, whether you're on the right path or not, you're going to keep doing the 0.99
01:26:23.660 same shit as long as people are following. 0.98
01:26:25.660 Whereas Hollywood, technically you're employed, you know? 0.99
01:26:29.060 So take Tom Holland, for example, before he became Spider-Man, there was a team around
01:26:36.520 him watching everything he did, monitoring every move that he'd made just to make sure
01:26:42.880 he didn't have any missteps. 1.00
01:26:44.220 Because, because now he's in the Marvel universe and you can't, you cannot fuck up. 0.99
01:26:47.520 Right. 1.00
01:26:47.660 Right.
01:26:47.840 You have to be, yeah, you have to be pristine.
01:26:49.420 You can't at that point probably have opinions.
01:26:51.680 Yeah, for sure.
01:26:52.160 Yeah.
01:26:52.800 You can't, you know, you can't have any opinions.
01:26:54.080 Your opinions have to be very like bland.
01:26:55.980 They have to be like, climate change is bad.
01:26:58.680 Yeah.
01:26:58.820 And they shove you in a limo.
01:27:00.120 Ham and cheese.
01:27:01.320 Yeah.
01:27:01.840 Peanut butter.
01:27:02.500 You kids should be able to breathe.
01:27:04.600 Good night.
01:27:05.400 And you're like, okay, this guy is great.
01:27:07.920 But it's got, that kind of stuff feels like it's gotten so cornered that it's just like,
01:27:11.740 it can't survive anyway.
01:27:13.140 I feel like people want, there's some people that still watch it.
01:27:16.100 Trump ruined that because Trump came out and he said whatever the hell he wanted.
01:27:19.420 And there was something paradigm shifting about that.
01:27:21.480 It was intoxicating.
01:27:22.380 You were watching him and you're like, here's a guy saying whatever he wants on the national
01:27:25.720 stage in front of everybody. 0.99
01:27:27.280 How can we go back to scripted fake crap? 0.80
01:27:29.940 How can you go back to an interview show where a host is like, so what are you doing? 0.96
01:27:33.580 And the celebrity is like, well, I'm, the host is like, tell us about that time when
01:27:38.540 you were in a school play and you fell down.
01:27:40.400 It's like, no, talk about something real because the president is going off the dome.
01:27:45.000 So you need to do that too.
01:27:47.000 Yeah.
01:27:47.440 Yeah.
01:27:47.640 It almost has challenged entertainment in a way.
01:27:50.580 And I think entertainment hasn't really respond, like mainstream entertainment hasn't
01:27:53.700 really responded that well. 0.98
01:27:55.480 Cause they just seem to keep playing some of the same old fucking, like, I don't know. 0.99
01:28:00.680 Yeah. 0.99
01:28:00.820 They're doubling down.
01:28:01.600 They're remaking old shows.
01:28:03.240 Comedy Central is like, we're remaking Bonanza.
01:28:05.340 It's like, this is not the move guys.
01:28:07.840 It's not the move, you know?
01:28:10.400 Um, yeah, it's hard because he can do something in his house that gets more views and, and,
01:28:16.700 and more attention and more engagement than, than things that they're putting millions and
01:28:20.300 millions of dollars into. 0.98
01:28:21.160 It's weird as fuck. 0.98
01:28:21.600 It must terrify them, dude. 0.97
01:28:23.220 It's gotta be terrifying.
01:28:24.280 To them.
01:28:24.820 Yeah.
01:28:25.100 To them.
01:28:25.680 But then also there's a, but yeah, there's a relatability.
01:28:28.600 Like, I like the fact that people that come out to my shows and stuff, they, I feel like
01:28:32.780 I, they're the type of people that I would like to meet anyway, probably be okay with
01:28:36.880 meeting because they tune in for some reason because they are into the same kind of stuff
01:28:42.340 I'm in or, or think.
01:28:43.420 It's a much better connection, man.
01:28:45.000 Yeah.
01:28:45.600 Much deep.
01:28:46.260 You have a much deeper connection with your fans.
01:28:48.000 Yeah, true.
01:28:48.300 Than, uh, movie star does. 0.92
01:28:49.940 Except for that black guy from Britain, dude. 1.00
01:28:51.660 What's that guy's name?
01:28:52.540 A KR1? 1.00
01:28:53.420 Fuck. 1.00
01:28:53.780 KR1? 1.00
01:28:54.720 Yeah, fuck. 1.00
01:28:55.620 Yeah, fuck this fucking guy. 1.00
01:28:57.000 Jesus Christ, dude. 1.00
01:28:57.880 That's gonna be a crazy, so Staples Center, what date?
01:29:00.700 November 9th.
01:29:01.380 Can you jump off the ropes or it's only punching?
01:29:03.200 I can do whatever I want.
01:29:04.340 Yeah.
01:29:04.720 I can do whatever I want.
01:29:05.760 He hit me after the bell last time.
01:29:07.580 Did he? 1.00
01:29:07.860 Oh, I'm gonna get fucking dirty. 0.99
01:29:09.000 Oh, get a louder bell, too. 0.99
01:29:11.160 Get a louder bell.
01:29:12.000 Get a louder bell just so everybody's, yeah, cause he might've been confused.
01:29:15.300 He was probably watching Power.
01:29:17.200 He got confused.
01:29:18.120 Oh, yeah, definitely.
01:29:19.220 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:29:20.020 Um, Nick, you got anything?
01:29:21.840 That's it for me.
01:29:23.000 Yeah.
01:29:23.400 Check out Tim's podcast.
01:29:24.960 Yeah.
01:29:25.380 Tim Dillon Show.
01:29:26.420 Thanks.
01:29:26.920 So funny, Tim.
01:29:27.780 Thanks for coming in.
01:29:28.660 Thanks for having me, dude.
01:29:29.620 Yeah.
01:29:29.800 I appreciate it.
01:29:30.280 Good to meet you.
01:29:30.820 Yeah, you're locked, dude.
01:29:31.840 Good luck with the fight, man.
01:29:32.740 Thank you, guys.
01:29:33.180 I know you were sick, man.
01:29:34.180 And dude, I'll fight somebody sometime.
01:29:35.600 Maybe not on this undercard, but a future one.
01:29:37.360 Yeah, you could do it.
01:29:38.240 Yeah, I want to train and fight someone now.
01:29:40.480 I feel like we all need to fight people.
01:29:42.800 I really believe that's the only way to really, that's it.
01:29:45.860 I love it.
01:29:46.380 I think it's a good idea.
01:29:47.700 Mr. Training, who should I fight, you think?
01:29:49.940 Chris.
01:29:50.600 Chris D'Elia?
01:29:51.180 Yeah.
01:29:51.560 Maybe Chris.
01:29:52.280 I could fight.
01:29:52.900 I could be Chris D'Elia if I'm allowed to jump up and also punch at the same time.
01:29:56.600 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:29:56.820 You'll be allowed, dude.
01:29:57.540 Oh, yeah, yeah.
01:29:57.840 Superman punch. 0.64
01:29:58.420 Do MMA.
01:29:59.260 I'll do some different stuff.
01:30:00.100 Yeah, you'll be good.
01:30:00.360 Yeah, you'll be good.
01:30:00.660 You're allowed, dude.
01:30:02.340 And you could fight somebody, too.
01:30:03.600 Dorothy.
01:30:03.960 I know this lady. 1.00
01:30:05.260 I'll fuck her up. 1.00
01:30:06.860 I don't know, dude. 1.00
01:30:07.880 I'll take some pictures of her as soon as we get off it.
01:30:09.620 I'll fight that.
01:30:10.280 Who's the guy?
01:30:12.120 The guy?
01:30:12.620 Frederick Douglass.
01:30:13.440 Cryptaddy.
01:30:14.000 He's in a wheelchair on Twitter.
01:30:15.300 I'll fight him.
01:30:15.880 I like him.
01:30:16.520 He's very funny, Cryptaddy.
01:30:17.720 Is he?
01:30:18.140 Yeah, he's great. 0.67
01:30:18.800 I'll fight him.
01:30:19.360 All right.
01:30:20.480 Here you go.
01:30:21.880 All right.
01:30:22.340 Now I'm just floating on the breeze, and I feel I'm falling like these leaves.
01:30:28.800 I must be cornerstone.
01:30:33.920 Oh, but when I reach that ground, I'll share this peace of mind I found.
01:30:39.400 I can feel it in my bones But it's gonna take a little time
01:30:48.580 For me to set that parking brake And let myself unwind
01:30:55.220 Shine that light on me I'll sit and tell you my stories
01:31:04.880 Shine on me And I will find a song
01:31:14.100 I will sing it just for you
01:31:17.780 And now I've been moving way too fast On the runaway train
01:31:26.440 With a heavy load of my hand
01:31:29.540 Ladies and gentlemen, I'm Jonathan Kite And welcome to Kite Club
01:31:35.300 A podcast where I'll be sharing thoughts on things like current events
01:31:38.980 Stand-up stories And seven ways to pleasure your partner
01:31:42.520 The answer may shock you
01:31:44.420 Sometimes I'll interview my friends
01:31:46.440 Sometimes I won't
01:31:47.760 And as always, I'll be joined by the voices in my head
01:31:51.260 You have three new voice messages
01:31:54.140 A lot of people are talking about Kite Club
01:31:57.140 I've been talking about Kite Club for so long
01:31:59.940 Longer than anybody else
01:32:01.580 So great
01:32:02.360 Hi, sweet are
01:32:04.320 Easy deal
01:32:05.400 Anyone who doesn't listen to Kite Club 1.00
01:32:07.860 Is a dodgy bloody wanker 1.00
01:32:09.920 Jermaine 0.99
01:32:10.620 Hi, I'll take a quarter pounder with cheese
01:32:13.900 And a McFlurry
01:32:14.920 Sorry, sir, but our ice cream machine is broken
01:32:16.780 I think Tom Hanks just butt-dialed me
01:32:21.740 Anyway, first rule of Kite Club is
01:32:24.160 Tell everyone about Kite Club
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