Ep 101 - Manatee's Knees w⧸ Unfit Statesman & Jacob Daniel
Episode Stats
Length
1 hour and 53 minutes
Words per Minute
196.17319
Hate Speech Sentences
348
Summary
On this episode of liberty lockdown, we have a live edition of No Way Jose and Zach Brown on the show, and we also have our special guest, the Fattest fucking Dad in the World, the Father Dave.
Transcript
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what's up retards the funniest 9-11 jokes were written on 9-12 women jerk off dicks like
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fucking they're an unruly ferret yeah you ever had a 9-11 cocktail it's in manhattan with two
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kamikazes you see the socialists don't have an accurate answer for this and she needs to account
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for it white women must be stopped that's right what yeah we can stay horny and retarded longer
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that she can stay sane what your ass ass to penis ratio maybe you could say we had sex but we didn't
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welcome everybody to another live edition of liberty lockdown this is clint russell reporting live from
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orlando we also have tph at tower gang toad sorry it used to be something else we have no way jose
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host of no way jose jose gales we have the fattest fucking dad in the world the father dave and our
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special guest you know him you love him he has his own band it's zach brown welcome in
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be funny no yeah that's literally that you put the responsibility on the guest after that fucking
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that neck that loose neck of an intro jesus christ
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actually it's weird it's like that's the clearest like your picture has been clint i actually could
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like count all the individual hairs on your beard kind of see there's some there's some like nose
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hairs in there it's nice i like even in his usual setup we can still see the porn on his monitor and
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the reflection in the window though so clint you look like you're intentionally trying to cut the
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blood circulation off to the top of your head what the fuck is going on i'm trying to i'm trying to
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make my brain dumber so i can enjoy life again that's true the mentally retarded are are the most uh
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the most happy in this life plasma go get plasma right now clint i bet there's a i bet that there's
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which in orlando oh i bet miami has a lot of plasma places it does seem like a hot spot for
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and plasma uh donation centers are the hot hottest spots in miami i feel like that's true there's a lot
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of mexicans yeah miami miami is the only place you go to get like a liver transplant but the liver that
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they put in you is also failing yeah it's just it's just fucking worst miami is where you go to
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fall in love dude i'm telling you like you'll just get women you're just like i just didn't you don't
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like you're like i can't believe women get this hot like no they're fake jose they're men and
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they're fake well they're cute as fuck dog the problem is they're they're very attractive but
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they're the worst people on the planet yeah look yeah they're women we know if jose if jose's thing
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is martha bueno i mean uh that's fine with me they they also i mean i feel like they're also just
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shallow i mean it's not it's not like they're they're also they're bad people but they're also
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like they're only skin deep there's i mean you're probably talking to more than five minutes yeah brown
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skin deep the worst kind yeah and it's brown and it's painted on brown skin and they they do it to
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themselves it's not even like from the sun they just go in there like i want to be almost black and
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i'm just gonna like put on basically yeah you're going backwards you gotta you want to get tan you
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want to get tan no no ma'am no ma'am you're going backwards you're in the wrong country for that
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come on i heard a shane gillis joke uh i was watching today it was like have you ever been to
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a small town in the u.s where uh they're still racist against certain white people it was like
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those fucking irish no that was like my my grandmother hated the catholics dude we're good
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protestant i'm a good protestant boy okay i'm a good protestant boy it's just so funny hated the
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catholics it's like y'all haven't even made it to black people yet and like we're and he was like
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we uh we in new york are like past uh arabs already like come on catch up something no it's
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kind of like uh it is funny because it doesn't make sense because you're like why like that's how
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i used to feel about the jew thing before i actually learned like economics and like you know other
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things and i was like then i'm like oh i get it now like before it's like this is so silly i don't
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get why anyone even cares about this differentiation dude the last stage of of racism always circles
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back to the french it always goes back to everybody hating like if you can move past
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like black people mexicans arabs jews it's always going to go back to the french they're slimy
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does that what you're saying that you that include canadian secret illuminati behind the jews i think
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that the french or the i think that the french embody what kanye believes the jewish spirit to be
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in my opinion i i i think that dude didn't the french didn't the french like get us kind of into
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the vietnam conflict like like the ho chi minh used to like fucking america because we liberated them
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from the japanese during uh world war ii and then the french like drug us into it they're like we're
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gonna take this back because it used to be a french like fucking colony yeah it's ours now the french are
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responsible for our revolution being successful so like can we really hate them yeah yes because i
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feel like we'd be better off now dude it's so fucking easy dude the french helped us uh like
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eliminate uh one of the uh final uh monarchies yeah that sounds based what i i wonder if if we didn't
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win the revolutionary war i feel like would we be in a better or worse place right now i mean
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it's we wouldn't be canada would we there's no way we would be canada it would just be like
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no i think if you lost the revolution you would be fucked because all the bravest like
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patriots would be dead i think you'd have to have not yeah i think the you'd have to have not fought
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yeah i think the war that really that america won that changed uh the path of history toward the the
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negative is the civil war if america would have lost that and the union would have won we'd be at
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a much better track economically we'd be doing great uh we'd have way more cotton wait what
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zach's actually living in a in a separate timeline
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no no no it's it's listen i'm about profit margin okay and if the union would have lost
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i'm just saying the margins on labor would be much better you're sounding pretty french right
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now bro i'm not french i'm not french at all don't you dare put that on me i'm a different type
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of trash i'm either scottish or irish i don't do the the 23 and me because i'm afraid they're going
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to take my dna and put it somewhere and use it against me later i'm a little nervous about that
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what was the whole thing with like us being racist towards irish people i did i never understood that
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one and i could they're alcoholics yeah but like they're like i guess that was i guess it was just
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a bunch of i guess it might have been white women during the historical thing because they were like
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the mexicans of the fucking that time like because they were i mean is it our fault is it our fault for
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hating them they they drink constantly they beat their wives and they they barely speak english i mean
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they're fucking worthless why should we not hate two out of three of those are good things
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yeah i was gonna say are what didn't you in your intro you say you we have to stop white women
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the irish have been stopping white women from doing a lot of things for quite a while now
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yeah breathing i don't know exactly what it was but the irish were like the blacks of the europeans
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i'm not really sure but hey but at least i feel like that's actually a good like i would i would
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want to be not known as the best european i would want to be known as the worst european because
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europeans are all euro fags so it would be like it'd be like getting kicked out of the gay olympics
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and be like oh you were way too straight for us exactly get out and so that's how that's i
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fucking hate how narrow shouldered european men are it drives me insane it it's such a it's a problem
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dude i put on a year i was in uh i forget this is a couple years ago this is before covet actually
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um i uh i larry bird don't fucking come on uh i won't tell the story again i was i was in men's
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warehouse in new york city and i tried a euro cut shirt on dude and i i looked like it it it's insane
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the dimensions of these men it's just a women's shirt right it's just a u.s women's shirt correct
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yeah pretty much dude it's crazy like it'd be like a women's like uh like they're i don't know
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like the same way they have it like i this other thing is that they have really small ankles and they
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all like wear fucking um capris like the dudes wear capris and like it's very fucking weird over
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there i remember i have uh uh cousins that that were from scotland and like they always wore capris
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and they like oh i mean they're also they're really faggy like i was like even like trees are
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objectively just a gay um oh it's super gay like why are you showing jump back to the pirates
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i don't know it just doesn't make sense for me like i feel like it would bother me just like
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touching my calf all day like it's just such a weird even just pragmatically it's retarded
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you're telling me that pirates are gay well you know what actually i could justify for them
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because they do work in the water and so like yes so like that would be the only time if you're
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interacting because you don't want that thing to you i mean you're always in a boat you're gonna be
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within like you know three inches of water and so that you know gets you out like now your pants
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are always wet at the bottom right and if the boat is gonna sink or whatever but pirates are gay
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because where do you think the uh term butt pirate came from okay so capris are only not gay
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when nautical uh themes are introduced so yeah well and also can you really be gay on a boat like
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it's kind of like with like the uh it's like being in prison like when you hear the ocean spray you
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can't be gay god can't see you on the ocean that's right it's it's don't ask don't tell
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yeah international waters yeah i was gonna say dude maritime law dude you can shoot a guy who's
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asking for help and you can fuck a guy with that and you can get into heaven still
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and you can fuck uh um what what was it the is it wasn't seals uh what were those things that
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they always uh because they like they have like uh knees and they look like women's uh legs the
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animals the sea animals what the fuck are you talking it's uh no no no no no no no no there's uh
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there's like sea animals that the sailors used to fuck because they have like manatees manatees
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that's what yeah manatees have like we're not put up much of a fight no dude that's why a manatee is
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like a fat woman yes they used to fuck manatees because they have if you look them up they have
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like knees and so they actually look like they have human legs and uh yeah bring it up well not that
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you know what they fucked manatees because they were easy to fuck because they're slow but also
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because they thought they were mermaids yes go manatee knees you have to look up manatee knees
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look at those goddamn knees i fucked the manatee and i'm telling you
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little dicky's gonna line up the manatee's knees
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yeah that was one of those uh old school terms he's gonna wind up like pulling up some like
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nudity on here and getting us nuked or something well i love it because i don't even think manatees
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have knees and cole's just like google it manatee's knees
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i'm looking at it now because i i it's funny too because they're like we're not gay we don't fuck
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men we fuck men a team that's right all right you guys want to get in the mailbag we've been uh
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yeah let's do a while it's uh fucking let's bring it up uh come on up i always want to get into a
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mailbag so yeah okay so let's bring what is up little dicky our uh uh we uh sent away uh we uh
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ordered him on wayfair actually so uh all right yeah joke that that that wasn't a funny joke tone
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oh no it was beluga whales here i i i was gonna say beluga whales are the ones that have fuckable
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knees no i'll share my screen so you can see pull that shit up i'm telling you so ridiculous that's
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what i was talking about right maritime foot you know what i get it now yeah that's what i was talking
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about they used to be like whoa yeah i see that yeah and is that what hole is that right there uh
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it looks like it's kind of where the navel is where they fuck that i don't know it was a hole dude
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when you're now under the sea and you have fucking like rickets and whatever the fuck else they had
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from you know uh just dehydration all that shit yeah i mean i could mistake well they did they
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definitely thought these things were mermaids yeah the manatees they probably still thought were
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morbidly obese mermaids though all right guys i'm really bored with the manatee humor let's get
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all right so let's crack open the mailbag from spud we got submissions for what and i'm not quite
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sure what that is maybe it's an mma thing or or she's talking about submissive women maybe i don't
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know she just said submissions for what that's it that's all yeah that's literally all it says
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all right moving on she started not understanding what was going on there
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yeah that's why we love you but you are a woman it's like we put out the patreon post and she goes
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submissions for what like it's a back and forth conversation i understand what she asked of her
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but she she submitted to the mailbag last week too i don't know all right liminal vibration
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says new weekly segment pull up toad's search history that's that's been discussed and um i i thought of
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a good was just youtube history from all of us because i watch weird things on youtube and i
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didn't know if anybody else does and i feel like people do i feel like zach has a really weird youtube
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history or or just much tech work for me to be able to give you my my fucking youtube history and i
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don't know you literally would just i can literally do it with three clicks right now i just watched shoe
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on head religiously that's it well what's good is that uh anything that i looked up i can just use the
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show as an excuse like yeah that's why i was looking up tranny porn that's why i was looking
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up thai shemales i just for the show man i just look up woodworking projects and i'm like why can't
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i be more of a man this is what my dad wanted me to do all right what we got next you know bad boy top
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what's up what's going on guys is your house flooded top they're just the first floor
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yeah so top half the floors and you're doing i love i love this threw down the rag and he said
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it's a fuck it i got a podcast to do you deal with it bitch let's just say that top is controlling
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his hole tonight not a funny joke toad wow is that where we're at right now the fucking
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dicky the mailbag boy is just is shitting on you toad and you're okay with that yes that's fine wow
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so you gotta fire back dude do you have to assert dominance
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well totally have your back as you chastise him go ahead so do something fuck
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he can't get dominance over his own body weight
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all right what we got next no black boy all right
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that's your boss novum novum asks what's y'all's most irrational fear i was afraid of the live action
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grinch for like 10 years oh i remember so if it's just throughout your whole life
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i was very very afraid one of climate change as a small child
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i used to watch dude we love the earth coal fuck them
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i love like shit no i i would watch um uh what's the the day after tomorrow and legitimately be like
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freaked out like this is about to happen and we're about to get fucked and the other one i was really
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scared of was any type of uh i was really scared of uh there was i watched the buzz lightyear show i
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don't know if anybody watched the buzz lightyear star command show great show when i was young and
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there's one episode where like they turn into slime legitimately scared the piss out of me for years
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uh and also spiders growing up was really big i used to your pants legitimately no no and but i like
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what's the spiders one i was very afraid of spiders because of spider-man the movie the first one and
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uh from then on i saw that's what your takeaway was well yes i got very afraid of spiders and then
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which is really weird because the guy got superpowers i should have been like hell yeah spiders are
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it was like a mild nuisance in the narrative of the movie and that was what you focused in on as a child
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and uh from then on i i saw a spider on the toilet seat and for my parents said for about two months i
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pissed in the uh the trash can oh my god i knew he was retarded before he gave away all that
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i was i was like a six-year-old like pissing they were just like walk in and they would find piss in
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the trash can because i was too afraid is that retarded or is that just chad or is it just hard
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to tell the difference there's a line there's a very thin line yeah that one time i i shit in my
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uncle's it was my i was at my aunt and uncle's i shit in the toilet i flushed the shit wouldn't go
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down i grabbed the shit with my hand and put it in the garbage can and this is what like this is
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when my alcoholic uncle was playing silent hill on the computer washed my hands walked out like
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nothing happened he goes in he sees just and i didn't even cover it up i just plopped my shit
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right on top right on top of everything and i literally when he came in and my younger cousin
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was sitting next to me and he goes who's shit in the garbage can i was like you shit in the garbage
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he was so he took him out of the room i'm like that's not my business that's not my business
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and then i and then i proceeded to play he paused his silent hill game for that purpose and then when
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he took my little cousin out of the room doing god knows what to him i started playing his silent
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hill game and fucked it up for him so he's shit all over the control i was i was also scared i remember
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being very scared of uh like armageddon like like actually like the rapture happening and me being left
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behind i couldn't watch the left behind movies as a kid and i'm well we know you didn't read the book
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well i no i didn't um and then i also there was a preacher like came in and he was giving talking
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about this is all like bible talk so sorry jose uh no i actually grew up in the church i actually
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legit had that same thing for a while where i was very scared what happened right now i'm driving on
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the road if my mom i'm assuming she's going uh i don't know i'm a little unsure myself like i think
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i'm fucked i remember there was a uh there was a like a a pastor or whatever he came through and he
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like spoke on revelations and he like he was like oh the bible says you can't there's nothing wrong
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like you don't know jesus's second coming it's like you can predict the rapture and so he's like
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i predict the rapture will happen tonight and like that night i stayed at my grandparents house and i
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get so fucking scared i went to their bedroom open the door and flipped on the lights to make sure
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they're still there you piss in their garbage yeah no i just i just and i always thought it was funny
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like looking back on it it's also like all my grandparents know is like i came in turned on the
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light saw their turn off the light and went back to bed like it's like dude biblical biblical fear
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is truly intense i remember watching the passion of the christ with my dad and he would like grab
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me on the shoulder like hard he's like he did this for you and i'm like oh and then i'd be like i'd go
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to bed and i'm like i'm sorry i fucked my couch cushions nothing came out i promise it felt good but
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nothing came out i don't know i'd rock it was yeah biblical fear is truly the epitome of pushing
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people to the the end of the line when it comes to fear because you're like there's nothing worldly
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that can save you i think i think biblical fear is why i don't fear anything anymore because my mom
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like really instilled the fear of god in me all the same shit i didn't go to bible school and all that but
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i was terrified of all this stuff i was like goody two-shoes growing up and then when i realized
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this might not be true i just started living life like i don't give a fuck i think you could i think
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there's probably things you'll fear in the if you sick a samurai sword up your pee hole that's fear
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that's something to fear i've done it worldly there's that's that's extreme sounding that's well
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listen i guess i can't put a label on anybody's preference you know what i have an irrational fear
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about i have an irrational fear about like a crazy leak happening in my house about 30 minutes before
00:21:51.140
i have to do the most important podcast in the world that's what my fears are nowadays do you think
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that jesus came like like ropes did jesus come dude like ropes he had to have the yeah of course he did
00:22:09.080
of all time correct he had to have like it's i mean it's god's penis i think it's like slightly below
00:22:15.860
average wow yeah true represent the people dude we're made in her we're made in his image dude
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come on come on big dick shit come on dude that's how we know that the black hebrew results are wrong
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it's because they have huge dicks and they're like no no no no you're made in god's image this is the
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devil none of that savage shit and wouldn't jesus have been circumcised since he was the first jew
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or like not the first jew but he was like a jew yeah he was circumcised no he wasn't yeah he was
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really yes i mean i guess they i don't think they ever specifically said he was or wasn't well i
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tell you what in the book i never read i'm pretty sure i have read that shit i was in church fucking
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i grew up in the church but like i don't remember specifically i went to uh fucking christian school
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look at that mailbag boy i don't remember a specific uh i don't remember a specific verse
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about i believe that they do i think they mentioned about he's jewish taking him to the temple to get
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circumcised in the say in the the correct because they had a wake like they they would always wait
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like a couple weeks or whatever how long it was let me just say i'm very uncomfortable with the tone
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that like toe just took with little dicky the mailbag boy it was like it wasn't as dominant as it
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should be but little dicky's very like out of pocket with toe this is it it makes me feel
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uncomfortable hey little dicky uh is the mailbag guy so he he literally works in the mail room
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little dicky we can't read that shit and he also lives in his parents basement i'm on my phone that
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doesn't yeah you gotta zoom in luke 2 21 records the fact that jesus was circumcised there you go on
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eighth day like i said i never really cared this much why are we still doing this dude do you think
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what's the name of the the chick that has gloop uh oh do you think that gwyneth paltrow would pay like
00:23:58.640
a billion dollars to get jesus's foreskin to put it on her face oh yeah there was um there is a so
00:24:05.140
the book of the bible well it was uh if you go that's called the bible no no no uh it's one of
00:24:11.760
the like not apocrypha but there's like other books that didn't make it into the bible that they
00:24:17.240
like what if there's other ones like the book of judas the book of um tell me there's a book
00:24:26.660
dedicated to jesus's foreskin there is listen listen guys okay but i was gonna say what if jesus's
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foreskin was uh like the precursor to all of his hearing all of his healing like what if the the
00:24:44.300
sperm cells in his foreskin was actually doing all that like a like a compression sock you would see
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those old guys walking around like i had a stroke i gotta keep the i gotta get the way you know these
00:24:55.000
varicose veins are killing me what if jesus was just like a dude that figured out stem cells before
00:25:02.560
anybody else and so he was just that's right jesus jesus was a walking copper tone sleeve
00:25:08.120
just fucking dude brett farve was by his right side he's like who the fuck are you and he's like
00:25:14.040
don't worry about it i'll come back in about 2 000 years you'll be oppressed dude no but yeah i'll
00:25:18.120
have about 25 years in the nfl slinging it in the pocket fuck off dude just fucking do your thing
00:25:24.240
clint there is though uh there is a another book not it's not in the bible but it's like an outside book
00:25:29.980
that people kind of discuss that does talk about where jesus's foreskin went and there yeah and
00:25:36.300
like apparently like heaven it went into a rabbi's mouth that's what they do
00:25:41.860
that's true that's the antichrist hey stop cutting them off well what happened to his fucking dick i
00:25:50.080
can't remember exactly what happened but i believe like there was some rumors that like it did get into
00:25:54.760
like the catholic church has his foreskin somewhere um and just kind of keeps it because like which is
00:26:01.000
how could they have even known like oh did he get it done when he was like already you know a saint
00:26:10.740
or whatever no he was eight days old from the beginning yeah yeah wait he was jesus christ from
00:26:16.700
the beginning they knew that's why they bought him all those gifts yeah you know the story you
00:26:21.060
fucking oh yeah the fucking yeah the murder and all that he was the immaculate conception he was
00:26:24.900
the child of god and we know this yeah i don't i know i don't obviously clint needs to go to church
00:26:30.360
one time i just want to see him in church like really this is what y'all talk about that's pretty
00:26:35.160
i literally i literally forgot that like jesus was also baby jesus looks like uh have you ever seen
00:26:42.200
uh avatar the last airbender like the show or the movie you know how like they like they can tell the
00:26:46.460
new avatar by signs that's basically how it works with uh jesus i just wrote i was just uh i was just
00:26:52.440
tele telekinesis synced with the fucking navi and got to got to ride on one of those creatures
00:26:57.300
i'm wrong avatar yeah he's talking about the last airbender clear by like what the fuck is jose
00:27:04.000
talking about jose is always talking about he needs to go to church and watch some anime it'll be
00:27:10.420
it'll just change his life technically it's not animated since it's american animation but you know
00:27:15.220
okay i do want to hear what other my irrational my irrational fear is having fingernails
00:27:23.380
what oh actually me too i'm not yeah low-key like like slightly long fingernails that people will
00:27:29.420
notice is that what you're talking about no like if i have fingernails i have to like rip them off
00:27:33.520
or bite them off because if they get slightly long at all it's this sensation where it's like
00:27:37.440
it feels to me like i'm permanently just scratching chalkboards all over the place and
00:27:42.180
it makes me want to vomit i think that's a guitar thing like because because you're a guitar player
00:27:46.300
sort of well you play the gig i play the retard guitar yeah the retard why do you do that by the
00:27:53.960
way like if you have the capacity to play a cool guitar why would you play some shit that doesn't
00:27:58.160
get you laid yes it's cool fundamentals are very similar easy crossover imagine if zach just played
00:28:07.780
whatever gay ass thing you play the ukulele toad i mean he would be way less cool than like he is
00:28:13.900
right now because like i mean look what he has back there i mean that's that's bullshit dude well
00:28:20.000
your name is literally you're still cool because you have them behind you if you had a ukulele behind
00:28:26.520
you you'd still be less cool someone with a car behind them is cooler than someone playing the
00:28:31.120
ukulele even if they're crushing it still if i if i could if i played an instrument i just walk
00:28:37.860
around in public and play the seinfeld riff on a stand-up bass that's all i'd do they'd be like
00:28:45.120
no play something i'd be like i can play one thing the thing that does actually get like play if you
00:28:51.020
can play piano like really well like you just know it and just if you're out in public and you see a
00:28:55.820
piano you just start fucking just playing it people will crowd around you it's actually pretty crazy
00:28:59.880
like that's true people love watching like hearing someone play piano in public yeah i actually was told
00:29:06.420
i was uh it was my chiropractor for some reason was like hey learn to play piano because girls will
00:29:11.560
love you if you play piano and i was like i'd like to think so we're older chiropractor
00:29:16.340
tell us yeah look at i'm legend man you could have got a pedophile wife and then on epstein's
00:29:22.680
island i feel like piano would pull you some cougar pussy dude i would love to get fingered by a
00:29:27.500
pianist you want to get fingered by a guitar player better believe me no i feel like that
00:29:33.540
well it depends on the hand but definitely more dexterous i want to get a blowjob i'm a flautist
00:29:41.100
actually all right i want to get fisted i want to get fisted by a minor
00:29:46.440
i'm not talking about like a six-year-old no no no no no no i'm talking about a person who goes into
00:29:54.000
the mines and is i want i want their little tiny baby hands so no 29 minutes and 45 seconds we just
00:30:03.800
got to see clint's feet so if anybody wants to just take i thought you were going to say we're going to
00:30:08.160
zach saying he wants to be fisted by a minor i was like i was like my feet are more noteworthy
00:30:12.640
than zach said he wants to get fisted by kids no i am m i n e r
00:30:18.920
but a minor from the early 1800s so yes it's still a kid but they're you know they're a working kid
00:30:26.860
a minor people that take what they want a minor that's mining lithium batteries for electric cars
00:30:32.720
and you know it doesn't have to be the 1800s it could be a fucking kid in Kenya today yeah it could
00:30:37.880
just be a fucking a middle african child who's working hard for tesla or some blood diamonds some
00:30:45.000
good nice blood diamonds uh well diamonds are a bit pretentious but sure my rational fear is aside
00:30:51.720
from the fear of damnation that we already talked about a little bit earlier i don't really have any more
00:30:55.920
but you know when i was religious i did but uh i always as a kid is like even to this day sometimes
00:31:02.120
i'll like make sure to look down i was i don't know what movie i watched with my dad but there's
00:31:06.260
like a movie where like a snake or some sort of like weird thing came up through the toilet
00:31:09.720
and bit them and like for me as a kid that was always the most terrifying thing is someone like
00:31:13.420
jump up and bite my balls while i'm taking a shit or something you know like
00:31:16.780
i think it's a pretty famous movie i've heard people reference before i just can't remember isn't it
00:31:21.380
snakes on a plane no jose it's not jose dude i was like that came out i was like it's senior
00:31:27.880
oh okay i was gonna say because i feel like snakes on a plane that had to be like a thing where
00:31:33.560
there's a there's a there's a scene where a snake bites a chick's nipple in that movie
00:31:40.860
um i'm a little i have a little bit of anxiety about driving with people because i had a good
00:31:52.980
friend die uh so i don't know if that's irrational but it's still irrational because like while you
00:31:56.880
were driving only just because someone's in the car with me versus not um also i i used to be afraid
00:32:03.620
of the dark when i was little um that's pretty irrational and then also i i realized i was different
00:32:09.640
when i was like 10 years old and i started to have these these thought experiments before i went
00:32:13.880
to bed and i would uh you could see dead people no i i would think about what it would be like
00:32:19.580
you know i would think about the the size of the universe and how infinitesimally small i was
00:32:24.660
and then i would think about how that that thought process made me feel as a person and then i would
00:32:29.980
realize that at the end of it ultimately i wouldn't exist in which case this thought that i was having
00:32:36.360
um i couldn't like it wouldn't have even mattered and it wouldn't have even existed and then i
00:32:41.460
realized like so is my thought process like is there any relevancy to my existence and i had these
00:32:46.320
thoughts at 10 years old and i was like oh i'm different because then i talked to my friends and
00:32:49.380
they're like they're like i'm afraid of sharks and i was like oh i'm afraid of my existential you know
00:32:55.160
you have existential crisis at 10 years old he's just in your in your bed it's like we all i mean
00:33:02.520
we all know what clint's real fear is it's commitment i mean
00:33:12.280
only the boys clint's real fear is actually fixing a girl and then having to stay with her
00:33:18.040
no no no no that's not true my my fear is that i'll never successfully fix a dick
00:33:23.680
and that's also goes into your existential crisis of like i mean it's just a huge world of pussy and
00:33:31.520
your dick is so i mean just so small i mean when you when you consider like the aggregate of all of
00:33:40.220
the vaginas i've ever been with we're talking a void that is it's verging on the universe at this
00:33:45.640
point and that dick is meaning that is concern a hot dog down an infinitesimal
00:33:49.980
i feel like every time clint gets into a long relationship just one time happens they're just
00:33:54.520
bitching in his head he has this deep thought out like i only have this many years left to live and
00:33:59.520
i have to sit here and listen to this annoying bitch you know what what am i even doing here
00:34:03.080
and it just walks up and leaves and doesn't say a word to him and never talks to him again
00:34:06.120
i would i would i would do almost the same thought experiment when i was younger but it was more
00:34:11.580
with like uh infinity like infinite time yeah so i would think like oh like a thousand and then
00:34:19.380
like it keeps going like there's no end and to me that was like always like yeah no time was time
00:34:25.340
was also tied into the thought experiment because i was thinking thinking about the size of the
00:34:29.200
universe and then i was thinking about the the fact that the universe is expanding and that's like
00:34:33.140
why we can't see past the yeah the border yeah fake that's all fake and gay bro stop looking at
00:34:39.000
yeah sure dude horns down fuck fuck university of texas come on now no you know i will say this
00:34:45.300
though after seeing you know the the condescension of a man with such a low low like obviously low
00:34:52.360
intelligence like neil degrasse tyson i i'm starting to think that like all the bible thumpers
00:34:57.780
are right and like it's just way more simple i was starting to think it's like god just made shit
00:35:02.720
that like whatever neil degrasse tyson is i'm just totally second guessing all of it he is an
00:35:07.540
asshole too like his every time he's on joe rogan experience it's like shut the fuck up
00:35:11.980
like oh dude someone else did you did you hear what he said about joe he was like he was like
00:35:17.420
he's the type of guy who's smart enough to like have an idea but not smart enough to realize why
00:35:21.780
it's a bad one or something like that i was like dude fuck you yeah his idea was to have you on the
00:35:27.340
show and it was a bad one so i guess he's correct yeah he nailed that that's right god i want to fist
00:35:32.980
fight him oh yeah i hate him i can't stand every time and not because he's black but i hate him
00:35:37.740
i mean that's just a bonus no no that's just why he has a low iq
00:35:42.320
all right all right uh what we got next uh little dicky he's so mean all right so phil says i've
00:35:51.980
now gone don't ever do that again without beating off to porn first time ever going this long you're
00:35:57.340
all cucks now except for top wait how long i feel like two two months two months who said that
00:36:04.680
phil phil you're gay you're gay phil i don't think i've ever gone two months not gonna lie
00:36:11.620
yeah yeah it's weird thanks for not not including me in this but i think you're gay still
00:36:16.440
i'm pretty sure if you mean without porn i have gone longer than two months without porn but i
00:36:21.420
haven't gone because you were you existed before porn was around no no it just was a different
00:36:29.280
format at that point okay let me say i have jerked off without porn past the existence of porn
00:36:37.160
for you know longer than two months yes uh i'm in the same boat as clint i i believe that i yeah i've
00:36:43.960
gone two months without looking at porn for sure but not without masturbating oh that's true
00:36:49.820
that is the thing it does it feels my mind yeah you're an artist and you can't beat off without
00:36:56.480
some sort of visual stimulation or physical i can picture i can't i can picture an apple in full
00:37:02.260
detail like three-dimensional and the shading and the lighting but i can't picture a naked woman
00:37:06.280
like pure autism because it's like i can feel pure chadley because he's like i don't want to think of
00:37:13.820
women never they're gross they bleed dude i i fucking i can do anything pretty much dude i get
00:37:23.460
i get i've never i've never so do you guys ever get comfort boners yes yeah yes so where you literally
00:37:29.980
lay in bed and you're so comfortable that blood rushes to your penis yeah why why is that i don't
00:37:36.100
know i have no idea but i'll literally like i'll spread my my like body across the bed and i just become
00:37:43.200
fully erect yeah especially if you're trying to fuck the mattress that's part of the boners it is
00:37:50.640
because like when your body gets fully relaxed i think there are muscles that do sort of you know
00:37:54.840
are weak muscles that keep it together and then like when you sleep it completely relaxes and just
00:37:58.500
kind of blood just kind of flows in it's true you know when you die it's all it's all i wonder if you
00:38:03.880
can ever come so hard that your taint cramps you know because you flex that muscle
00:38:08.520
when you come yeah i mean i did that i swear it's happened a couple times i don't know if it's
00:38:14.600
an old man thing but a couple times i was fucking i'll be like like where am i'm like oh god oh
00:38:18.660
oh no no no i'm i'm talking full-on taint cramp there's no stretches to do no you had a taint
00:38:25.960
cramp like it's like like it's the worst feeling like right in your taint like a little
00:38:31.400
but you have to do math for it to happen that's true yeah yeah yeah i have to yeah to shoot ropes
00:38:37.080
by the way i did see um uh thompson girl was on theo von's podcast and he said when he shoots he
00:38:43.560
shoots ropes and he was like i could shoot the length of this table and it was like a long table
00:38:49.920
and to me i was like because i think we've talked about yeah thompson girl yeah he said he said like a
00:38:55.700
shooter right he said he was like i can see that with theo he was like i shoot fucking ropes he was
00:39:03.300
like if i if i'm a couple days backed up he was like i will come the length of this table how long
00:39:09.040
of a table are we talking 10 feet it was a long table like it was like a feet it was six to eight
00:39:14.540
feet dude i yeah dude i can understand like if especially it's been a couple days especially if
00:39:19.040
you work up to it you're kind of like i think i could do that your tabs you're you're kind of just
00:39:22.680
slow in it like yeah dude i could work up i think i could probably well we know jose has hit himself
00:39:29.700
in the face with it before i think yeah that's like two feet i have a little bit of an angle to
00:39:36.700
mine so mine has gone over my shoulder before no it hasn't yeah i've hit my neck i've hit my neck a
00:39:43.000
bunch of times it's fascinating because like when i that's the most demeaning feeling yeah because when
00:39:48.780
i'm by myself it's like it's like a failed suicide but i just can't i can't fire it hard enough
00:39:52.920
oh it's so disappointing because myself because like when i jerk off by myself like the cum just
00:39:58.640
like it'll be like loop and then when i fucking when i'm with somebody then i can just like almost
00:40:03.460
blow my head off it's it's i don't know it's interesting there's a psychology yeah the worst
00:40:09.460
cum is the uh like you get to the point of orgasm and you hold it in and then you have to work
00:40:16.640
back up and then it's like it hurts it hurts it's like
00:40:19.620
i mean it's just i mean it's just because it's like no that's when i launched the hardest
00:40:24.420
yeah you know i'm talking about where you actually there's a timing there's like a
00:40:28.340
you're saying like if you push it too far and then you do that move where you like almost come all
00:40:32.240
you did was fuck up your orgasm like i don't know if you do it right before and then you work
00:40:37.380
back up to it that's how you just end your dick still does a thing where like you're like
00:40:40.640
you know you know what the best but nothing comes out because you like that's in that's so
00:40:45.360
it's like it just kind of like liberty lockdown guest would be clint's dick where you could sit
00:40:51.480
your dick down and ask it all the questions that we ask here because who really knows what's going on
00:40:57.140
clint's dick has seen the universe man it would be it would be interesting because it would definitely
00:41:01.420
have a better recollection of my sexual partners than i do because like most of its day is spent in
00:41:07.020
darkness and it's like so he remembers when it's out and like doing i thought you meant because of
00:41:11.240
all the uh disease that it carries now from it's no it's it's spent in emotional darkness luckily
00:41:16.760
luckily clint has placed his phone on a point of view where we get to see where all of his sexual
00:41:22.280
partners got to see right before they blacked out clint's dick is like those uh is like those like
00:41:29.780
striations like geographic layers my dick please respond it reminds me of like tummy time on fucking
00:41:39.040
legion of skanks with uh with a big day it's it's adorable i love it yeah you know when you dig down
00:41:44.920
like into the earth though you have like the striations like the layers the geographic layers
00:41:49.520
like that's clint's dick and you can like tell dude you can carbon date my cock yeah which era like the
00:41:54.960
rings on a tree um how's my audio by the way it's not that's not the problem it's the fact that you
00:42:05.480
keep bringing your inner knee into the camera shot yeah that's cute the feet oh god it's the man
00:42:13.440
if he shaved those things i could be fooled oh dude i have i have really i've had women actually say
00:42:21.280
like you have sexy legs and i'm like yeah no homo for a dude that is like the ideal like dude leg
00:42:26.800
thanks man harry harry harry is the problem harry large you're not like overly bulky that's a good
00:42:34.120
solid man leg you can't thank you i do want to ask you this uh so on the panel last week uh i mentioned
00:42:40.400
i don't shave my armpits and all of these fucking faggots do we trim we don't shave yeah you guys trim
00:42:48.120
your fucking armpits thank you thank you he's the ginger he's come on doesn't count no i've never
00:42:56.640
ever even gotten close to putting any sort of cutting apparatus i just i i literally i i can't
00:43:07.800
trim my fucking i can't shave my armpits there's so many skin tags
00:43:11.560
i've had a couple of skin tags i i took one off once dude and because skin tags they have blood
00:43:25.740
vessels and like nerves to them dude the pain it's it's what women giving birth please dude
00:43:33.400
give birth to a baby that isn't yours out of your asshole and then maybe you'll feel both the
00:43:40.260
emotional feeling and the physical feeling that i felt when i fucking took off a skin tag dude it's
00:43:45.620
wild it's wild it made me want to like i honestly when i shaved that i did feel like i was entitled
00:43:51.880
to more things from the government i turned a little bit socialist i got a little bit like i just was
00:43:56.560
like yeah maybe maybe bernie's the right way you got so many skin tags man what's going on i don't
00:44:02.880
know i think it's bad iris skin probably yeah uh yeah it's bad genetics yeah yeah all right uh
00:44:09.860
do we got any more uh questions with his fucking knee though man he's like a beluga over there like
00:44:14.200
i'm getting turned on okay all right you want to fuck my knee one more hold up hold up i want
00:44:19.480
everybody i just want everybody to understand how deep of a nose inhale toad took after that joke
00:44:27.000
you can actually tell you can actually tell though how funny joke uh how funny toads not
00:44:44.580
funny jokes he thinks they're gonna be based off of his inhale afterwards because he'll he'll wait
00:44:49.400
he'll deliver the line and then he'll be up and then there's like dead silence and you're like
00:44:55.360
and all we can hear is him inhaling it's fucking brutal i love it oh yeah it's my it's actually
00:45:01.000
probably my favorite noise because that's like when my dad would give me a lesson he would exhale
00:45:05.220
through the nose he'd be like you know you gotta stay away from those things
00:45:07.540
chin right back into his adam's apple and just breathe heavily that's what we're watching
00:45:17.080
passion the crisis like he did this for you and then he'd move over to his like 99 dell laptop
00:45:23.440
and go come over here and make me watch fucking cartel beheading videos and say this is what drugs
00:45:27.260
do and this is is there a reason that you have a beard but no mustache um no it's just blonde it's
00:45:33.580
okay you dude you're a little bit darker i'd have a slur for you waiting
00:45:40.680
i was gonna ask if you're converting to islam or something like that i just don't get that
00:45:48.120
dude you actually the white red-headed muslims yeah or the wildest folk yeah they're sand gingers
00:45:57.020
dude they're they're they're the people do you ever guys you guys read the story of sammy osmokak the
00:46:03.600
the kid in florida who uh was tricked by the fbi and he he would he got arrested for for attempting
00:46:11.800
a terrorist attack but it came out in court that the fbi was coaxing him and he was mentally retarded
00:46:19.240
you're talking about everybody yeah every every time there's been a guy yeah dude well he was like
00:46:25.480
an albanian immigrant um that went through wartime he was retarded and red hair and slightly over just
00:46:35.160
slightly overweight you know just just slightly right there not action bronson to where it like
00:46:40.840
the fat becomes cool it's just slightly overweight and the fbi tapped him and said hey you're pissed
00:46:47.460
aren't you and he's like fucking yeah yeah i am pissed and they fucking they got him it's you
00:46:53.260
could actually back when the intercept was good they wrote a an amazing expose about it um it's
00:46:58.860
fucking wild dude it's it's the most clear-cut example of the fbi creating a terrorist it's crazy
00:47:05.100
dude it's nuts and i also like it because he's representing the the retarded in the media and
00:47:10.800
that's good too you know how you know how toad always thinks that he's getting um some like milf that
00:47:16.180
wants to fuck him and i i would be i'd be really surprised if toad doesn't end up in jail on
00:47:22.260
terrorism charges from some like catfish milf that's not real like oh that but i bet the fbi
00:47:29.000
has a ton of milf pictures just for toad and just like oh yeah oh yeah these milfs are sending me
00:47:33.900
all their titties and it's just some like dude why'd you put a v on that cole like he's like elves and
00:47:39.740
elves he's like milfs he's he's not all he's not all there i'm not all right what do we got
00:47:47.760
let's finish the mailbag what we got next all right uh the last one benzo asks would you rather
00:47:54.780
skinny black girl from the alex stein slash portnoy video or some random modern single cat lady
00:48:01.340
which girl was that uh i'd probably still take the black check though the only black person i remember
00:48:07.500
is the uh is the black dude she smacks him at the end yeah these cat people have been like flooding
00:48:13.200
my mentions for um well let's oh that's true you did have a couple i mean little dicky's on it man
00:48:18.660
hey don't don't watch the whole thing fast forward to the end right there her that's not a skinny
00:48:23.580
black that's not that's skinny for jose that ain't her that ain't her i'd hit you know fast forward to
00:48:29.460
her over crazy cat lady it's that girl to the right
00:48:34.900
i can't really see her i mean you can definitely hear her
00:48:45.800
dude yeah dude that's gonna be a good light just based on that
00:48:50.180
i mean that's not a relationship material at all i mean is the current is the crazy cat lady not
00:49:05.960
black no yes oh well then i'm gonna go i'm gonna go with that then pull up the girl arguing with
00:49:12.380
today the feminist the oh yeah i wish she would have came on yeah she almost that would be the that
00:49:19.160
would be the best comparison so i feel like one one deep deep orgasm and i'd have her fucking
00:49:25.520
way out of this feminist bullshit i don't she's actually unironically funny i was yeah she was
00:49:33.040
arguing with some of the guys because it's a dude you think it's a guy he's catfish gotta be right
00:49:38.600
yeah it was too cute like she like the she was too cute to be like it's like this hardcore about
00:49:43.660
the feminism thing like no all right but if it was me i mean i hate cats
00:49:59.100
i i i feel like i'm oh god yeah this chick is fake she's a catfish
00:50:06.100
see if it was between a black woman and that cat lady i'd have to go with that cat lady probably
00:50:12.840
yeah if if that is what she actually looks like yeah i'll go with her but otherwise the typical
00:50:18.920
crazy cat lady hell no all right you guys want me to tell you about my you guys want me to tell you
00:50:23.460
about my inheritance story yeah oh yeah yeah yeah all right do it all right i found out today
00:50:28.620
okay well i gotta explain to the audience because i know we all know because we have a group can i borrow
00:50:32.640
but how am i checking in my savings work is like i'm all in my hands no essentially my wife went to
00:50:38.640
go renew her fucking uh license online and then she got some notification or whatever on there and
00:50:43.120
it's like hey we need to contact you for uh to fucking um to uh like claim property and you know
00:50:51.220
like that i guess the state had for whatever reason we didn't know why and then she looked into it
00:50:55.460
and then come to find out like there was a uh bank account in her and her dad's uh fucking uh
00:51:01.780
you know name and it said next to his name deceased so that he had just died so this is her dad
00:51:07.200
like it's her dad just recently like died we don't even know when we haven't been contacted by anyone
00:51:12.180
because she like basically my wife and her dad haven't talked since she was like in high school
00:51:16.780
like he basically just like sort of abandoned her and he's like a multi-millionaire
00:51:20.860
so like it apparently she had he had a school fund for her at one point and so like we assumed like it
00:51:26.820
was that and it has a little bit in it and but like we didn't know for almost a week i found out
00:51:30.800
today how much it was how much was in the account because she wasn't able to find out until she like
00:51:34.620
got some forms and stuff we found out today i mean it makes it a little bit less funny because it's a
00:51:39.820
funny premise of like i guess you guys can guess i wanted to guess yeah but now we know now we know
00:51:45.020
it's not that much it's also gonna fuck up because it's like it's so weird because like when especially
00:51:49.920
when i didn't know it was like there was part of me it was like like super excited like my wife's dad
00:51:54.300
died also like okay i gotta be i gotta be sympathetic for my wife but it's like i gotta
00:52:00.520
feel both these feelings at the same time like hey that's really sorry
00:52:03.400
jose actually murdered his wife's father but it's like it's also the psychology of like what's in
00:52:12.000
that bank account like we didn't know how much it's like did he like on his deathbed be like i
00:52:16.400
regret like my relationship my daughter i'll leave her something behind because he has money he's a
00:52:20.660
multi-millionaire and like uh i don't know if you guys want to keep going with it but i can just
00:52:25.560
tell you how much it is because this is a pretty wait you know that he's a multi-millionaire yeah
00:52:29.580
how how is he a millionaire uh i don't fucking know the specifics i don't know i'm just going
00:52:35.000
off what some woman told me and my wife he's a jew actually actually so wait he's black because he
00:52:40.200
abandoned his child and he's a jew because he has so much money so he's no he's not now you're reaching
00:52:44.860
yeah you're really trying but what i will say is she's in his wife's in a better position because
00:52:51.360
she's an only child only by the thought that her brother and sister killed themselves so i mean like
00:52:57.820
that's no that wasn't that wasn't uh like those were her stepbrother and stepsister those ones uh they
00:53:03.520
are not his kids so she was the only child she was the only child but when like he kind of like
00:53:09.620
he kind of essentially went off and he like got remarried and she had kids and like basically
00:53:15.120
kind of treats them like his family and she he hasn't talked to i hadn't talked to my wife in over
00:53:18.980
a decade so it's like it is this weird now huh all right should we should we guess what the amount
00:53:27.120
is is that yeah you guys can we can i just say briefly that how like reprehensible i i think it is
00:53:33.320
as a man to abandon like yes no i hate it's one yeah it's one thing to abandon your son but if you
00:53:39.640
abandon your daughter i'm just like god i just i don't even know like there's no words like really
00:53:44.700
annoying no well okay all right that changes my mind good point i mean so people understand she
00:53:49.400
turned on my wife would like went to juvie and everything like she got in a lot of trouble as a
00:53:55.500
kid and then like essentially during that time i understand like what you you have a type
00:54:01.640
jose very much yeah yeah no my wife my wife's nuts but uh fucking like he like yeah she was a bad
00:54:08.520
kid she got her shit together but during that time where she like got in a lot of trouble
00:54:12.380
fucking her dad basically just was like well i don't want anything to do with this and just like
00:54:16.560
then it hasn't talked to her since but her life is different now so he didn't abandon her when she
00:54:21.640
was a child he abandoned her when she was a piece of shit yes which is weirdly kind of worse
00:54:26.500
because it's like you had their whole life with them and as a teenager that's when i don't ship
00:54:30.180
no i don't know for me as a dad like i can understand maybe jumping out of their life for
00:54:35.900
a little while because it's like hey if anything all i'm going to do here is enable but like i would
00:54:40.860
always check in and it's like you know like it's can we discuss what if my if my daughter dates a
00:54:46.240
black guy oh but that's the best time wait if she's a piece of shit though doesn't some of that
00:54:51.300
have to do with bad parenting no yeah exactly no i'm not on you a lot what are you talking about
00:54:57.140
bad mothering probably blame it on the mom yeah it's never the father's fault all right i'm going
00:55:02.380
with 10 000 on this by the way 10 000 what else we got i'll go you're not at all excited but i'm
00:55:09.540
still going to say 25k 25k okay i think it's something like 3 000 and like weird like an odd
00:55:16.380
number it's like an account he forgot yeah 3 000 but it was it was like a ball like a hundred
00:55:21.260
dollar bond he bought in like 1992 i'm just going to go grab the paper so i can read the exact amount
00:55:28.400
what if it's a foreign conversation oh that'd be great if it was like rubles or some weird like
00:55:34.400
same joke you know it's definitely not a lot of money because he has to go pick up the paper to
00:55:42.520
remember what it was if it was if it was 575 000 he'd be like i remember this no i i would love it
00:55:48.720
it's like it was like it actually wasn't money it was stock but only in blockbuster
00:55:53.240
it was stock in that insulin company yeah everyone put in a guess
00:56:02.400
what were all the guesses they were all like at least three grand 10 grand 25 grand i think i think
00:56:10.480
dollars and 48 cents oh no was it 348 what no you say three sixty dollars and 48 cents oh okay
00:56:22.900
oh no dude that'll buy you fucking three laotian boys on the black market though so
00:56:28.320
count your lucky score take a guess i don't even know if it's worth the paperwork
00:56:33.860
it's like it's like the processing fee is 38 dollars and it's like okay well i mean
00:56:39.400
that's like not even one week out of this that's awful man jose was telling us all week
00:56:46.100
bad for my wife but also but you saw the amount because like i understand like for her that's like
00:56:50.640
she probably maybe had some hopeful thought of like you know maybe he loves not that she's like
00:56:55.280
materialistic in that sense more just like that would signal it something you know from him but
00:57:00.800
like 60 bucks so i felt awful but also part of me is like this is also kind of hilarious yeah dude
00:57:06.680
he knew that women shouldn't be handling money dude
00:57:14.860
yeah you must invest this in the best possible cole how much money did you make for uh giving
00:57:22.460
plasma oh in a week in a week it was more than 60 dollars
00:57:26.080
barely no it wasn't we said 25 35 right so that's that's true
00:57:31.320
i think dicky was such a degenerate i think he was going to different plasma clinics like all in
00:57:40.020
the same day how despicable is it though like for me i was thinking about this from like an economic
00:57:45.180
sense and i was like how despicable is it as like to become a multi-millionaire within your lifetime
00:57:50.440
and generate this much wealth and then just die and not leave it to like your actual blood kin
00:57:56.160
because like it's just going to he has other kids though well step kids they're not his real kids
00:58:00.760
these are like grown adult kids when he came like that's true for eight months that kind of looks
00:58:06.100
like a girl that uh jose would be into too that looks oh 100 she's on twitter uh michael send me
00:58:11.840
nudes immediately thank you very much i don't ever like any her name is michael yeah i was gonna say
00:58:16.740
i don't think i don't think her name is michael dude i think it's weird probably
00:58:20.380
but you're saying i'm being catfished again god damn it that's oh oh you've been you've been dm
00:58:28.160
with her too you fucking low down dirty scoundrel if code is dming with it's a dude okay but
00:58:34.900
but yeah i i could well i don't that's an fbi agent who keeps also just keeps 60 bucks in a random
00:58:41.900
account like i don't have such a low amount it's like you're like i feel like is that like is that
00:58:48.240
like uh it's jose jose jose you weren't even feeling even an inkling of the disrespect that
00:58:54.520
you should be because that's with compound interest over god knows how many fucking years dude i was
00:59:00.000
like 52 dollars yeah no i think he put about 350 in there and then he was like we'll see what it is
00:59:05.920
no no i love the thought that he knew he's about to die he had it was her college account it had
00:59:11.020
like guys there's a chance still there's a chance that's true but what i'm saying is uh if he was
00:59:18.780
very rich and let's say he it was like a college fund that he put like 200 grand in but before he
00:59:23.760
died he was like fuck my daughter take it out and transfer it over to a different account but leave
00:59:30.300
like dude here's here's what you here's what you have to know he had like 300 000 in there and he put
00:59:36.580
it all in dogecoin right right right before the fall dude yeah right before elon rug pulled yeah
00:59:43.520
he was like he was watching it and he was like if i want to make a quick buck i can make my daughter
00:59:48.640
so much more money i'm gonna put it in dogecoin it's just a really risky investment for a short
00:59:53.260
term but it's gonna work out and then he just lost it all and he was like well all right maybe he
00:59:57.320
just invested in a lot of adult learning classes at the learning annex who knows let's not assume what
01:00:03.720
he was doing maybe he was learning about uh ancient civilization maybe maybe actually maybe
01:00:10.100
it was all invested in ftx and he actually was like he was a one of the uh millionaire donors
01:00:17.080
to ftx and all this shit and he just lost all the cash maybe maybe the gun he bought to kill himself
01:00:22.400
was made out of pure gold you never know hey i had an interesting thought at uh animal kingdom
01:00:30.080
uh well i was in line for an hour and a half because that's all you do at disney is you stand
01:00:33.580
in lines and i was like i was thinking to myself why did you go to the fast pass you fucking poor
01:00:38.420
even with the fast pass it takes a while too yeah i'm not i'm not paying for me no motherfucking
01:00:42.480
fast pass there's only four rides at the disney park why are you going to disney because my mom's
01:00:48.620
here oh right okay fast pass or nothing i've if i like mom is it's not going what's where is the
01:00:55.640
story gone animal kingdom what zach needs to ask me questions about my mom i was gonna say i mean
01:01:00.160
top just excused a grown man going to disney because his mother she her his mother's also grown
01:01:06.940
these are adults going to disney she's significantly older than me which you might find fascinating is
01:01:13.560
his mother so old that she's like a child again you know what i mean if i was going to any like any
01:01:19.940
park within disney it wouldn't be it would definitely be epcot if anything oh my god
01:01:26.000
why is this here what the hell what just happened oh you're all getting cold this year because you
01:01:31.660
didn't hate israel enough who allowed this what the fuck it was never funny oh jacob no real quick
01:01:42.260
um because you're a religious man were you deathly afraid of random uh prophetic events as a child
01:01:48.860
also was oh yeah circumcised do you have his foreskin
01:01:52.700
he is a christian jew so there's overlap so it could be did god shoot rose answer me now there's
01:02:01.240
nothing there's nothing that that signifies a christian tilting jew then those all the way
01:02:07.360
around the lens framed glasses with the big jewish nose there's nothing that's the symbol dude that's
01:02:13.740
the symbol that you know that you go to church and they're playing like drums at the fucking altar
01:02:17.440
you're like enough come on bring back tradition come on are you a closeted jew
01:02:22.000
but i'm not a closeted jew i'm a jew did we just out you i'm sorry
01:02:26.960
but i but i but i believe in jesus so that i can claim you know i can get the best of both worlds
01:02:35.380
yeah it might as well cover your back i don't understand this is like the jews are really upset
01:02:39.240
like they really like don't like jesus and it's like guys like you can do you can still have all
01:02:44.200
your jewishness stuff and still like accept jesus and then like you are definitely covered like you
01:02:49.440
got it down for real like and it's not you also get like the top level of heaven like you skip
01:02:55.000
straight to the top the reason they don't like they don't like jesus because of all the good stuff
01:02:58.860
he said because then they'd have to actually live by that
01:03:00.840
they're like they took the give money to caesar as just like manipulate caesar into doing our will
01:03:08.520
they understood politics better than the lp that's true and then and then they and then
01:03:15.500
they killed him it was a judas i believe that was actually really funny i don't know if anybody saw
01:03:20.740
the twitter thread about how nose breeze how um i can't remember who that was but it was talking
01:03:27.300
about how the jews didn't actually kill jesus and they were like and i was like this is the dumbest
01:03:32.360
argument ever because it's 100 true the jews killed jesus that was josh smith said that because
01:03:38.160
oh yeah that's right it was pilot was like you can take jesus or you can take this like
01:03:43.320
violent murder pedophile that we locked up they were like give us the murder pedophile
01:03:48.480
yeah we want the murder pedophile at least like let's kill jesus and yeah pilot was like all right
01:03:54.480
to be honest sometimes i doubt i'm like these aren't the same jews like i think sometimes maybe it's
01:03:59.120
the black people but then hearing that where they're like they prefer the pedophile i'm like
01:04:02.720
no it's the same jews dude i'm gonna you're you're the way you talk top i'm gonna be having to read
01:04:09.340
jewish books just to like confirm or deny the crazy shit you say like you know what damn it he was
01:04:14.580
fucking right there is some fucked up shit in here jose's gonna read uh the torah can i please run my
01:04:21.240
thesis past you know you have mocked me all right so my thesis that i came up with well standing in line
01:04:26.980
at disney is that basically the next generation of kids like they either they go i was gonna say it
01:04:33.500
was uh you know the next generation of kids i was gonna say they take two paths but i think it was
01:04:39.700
actually three i think they either go religious or they go like the like instead of goth or emo now
01:04:45.920
you're basically just like trans right and then the the other path is like gym rat and like there's
01:04:51.380
no other options like you're either like religious zealot yeah or a religious zealot that wants to
01:04:58.220
chop off your body parts or you go to the gym that's it you're either cole you're either jacob
01:05:03.760
daniel or toad yeah let you guys decide which is which i feel like there's a there's a there's some
01:05:09.360
good overlap between the gym rat and the religious that's true not the trans has no overlap with the
01:05:15.280
other two like at all like there is there is no trans person that is a gym rat i'm here for it
01:05:19.740
weed them out younger you know although i would definitely steal all this testosterone from the
01:05:25.280
uh from the trans kid as a gym rat just like they'd be like oh you got the good shit like the good like
01:05:30.260
uh prescription dude that's like the new that'll be the new adderall like kids give it away adderall
01:05:35.020
that'll be like testing like one little test my wife is still breastfeeding so like i need to get in
01:05:40.820
like handing out testosterone with breast milk because it has the hgh so like that way the
01:05:46.360
trans men can get like a breast milk protein shake come on fuck on about it now come on
01:05:51.980
i have a story about that from the day i was drinking my after workout protein shake and my
01:05:58.440
and elizabeth was literally trying she had her boob out and was actually squirting it at me and she
01:06:04.000
was like i'm gonna make you drink it like she's putting it didn't happen and my women breastfeeding
01:06:09.920
mother women like that is like a kink for them they're like hey i'm gonna squirt this across
01:06:13.800
the room at you they look i i never she was definitely it's the first time they get to
01:06:18.400
shoot robes like women why do you think that's my target demographic man like she was never into
01:06:23.260
this kind of stuff before and now it was literally out of nowhere she just comes up and just i was
01:06:27.320
just sitting on the couch drinking my protein and she's just like i'm gonna get some in there and
01:06:30.280
like was like just just at me like i was told your target demo works at fucking langley relax
01:06:36.720
they want to know how much how much we have to uh fundraise to for all of us to get hammered for
01:06:43.220
an episode i mean that's like every episode usually yeah i'm drinking i mean i don't think i've ever
01:06:48.140
drank on an episode you'd have to pay me i used to but i'm sober now if i want to get hammered i mean
01:06:53.340
it would just be the just the price of the drinks basically like for like 20 bucks for each of us
01:06:59.020
is like a that's probably what two six packs for 20 bucks you probably get like yeah give or take
01:07:06.260
yeah and so and so we can we can crush like all crush six beers we would be hammered but we'd be
01:07:12.360
pretty feeling pretty good 125 bucks and it happens i here's here's what i say they should have work
01:07:18.160
night's dog same so do i dude push the limit like do you imagine how many views it would get if you
01:07:25.700
all just od'd on fentanyl and just left it going left the lives we've actually discussed that we we
01:07:32.420
want to do something where all of us are taking a different drug and uh basically it'll be a shitty
01:07:37.080
episode but oh my god the people that are watching have to guess which it's like jeopardy like
01:07:41.280
jeffrey like what's that overdose or we could all take fentanyl we could get derek so it has a
01:07:48.120
seizure but he's not doing any drugs he's just i've always wanted to try cocaine yeah i has a
01:07:55.140
seizure because i've always wanted to try cocaine again i highly recommend drugs i still do but i used
01:08:04.440
to too oh yeah did you ever tell this like what your cocaine stories about what you remember
01:08:11.160
i don't know i know it was after it was after a show i know this was one of those things where
01:08:15.940
we had a kick-ass conversation i think it was told it was like we talked about this in the show and
01:08:19.780
it's like it's like there's sometimes just shit just happens in the group chat and i can't just
01:08:23.860
like reproduce that like right i don't remember i think i was talking about how like i don't know
01:08:28.620
probably maybe once every couple years so me and the wife will get a bunch of blow just fuck
01:08:33.140
like send the kids send the kids to my in-laws and just fucking once every couple of years or once
01:08:38.500
every year once every year every couple years like is that i want to know is there like a day
01:08:43.000
no we don't have a day every once in a while is this like a is this like a like a mexican is like
01:08:49.420
a day of the dead thing where they just every just a fucking ounce of blow and just fucks their
01:08:54.980
wife anyone out here listening that's ever done blow you you know it's especially if you're like
01:08:59.140
if you've if you've been married for a long time it's like you know what kick the kids out
01:09:02.820
i've never done it but i know this i know this to be a fact that this is like something that
01:09:08.440
particularly white people that look like jose this is what they do they will they'll give their kids
01:09:13.480
over to their parents and then they will just do copious amounts of blow my buddy john does it like
01:09:18.460
twice a year i think and him and his wife they just do tons of blow she pegs him it's crazy that's it
01:09:24.060
wow so what's interesting is racist against hobbits in in in south dakota it's the same thing but meth
01:09:32.340
it's mad yeah yeah you gotta i feel like that's what it's like where i'm at in alabama too i wanted
01:09:37.880
to do meth too to be honest when i did coke i had i had no sex drive
01:09:42.440
i had no sex drive when i did coke you can't get it up i've heard yeah i can't i well i also drank
01:09:49.720
when i was on it yeah there you go i was like you have no idea what the stock market
01:09:55.780
okay blow makes it hard you gotta act quick blow makes it hard for me to sustain a boner but as
01:10:01.840
long as i have stimulation it's fucking just stays but like it's almost like my add goes haywire so
01:10:06.780
your blood has nowhere to go it's compacted into a grape dude your body's a grape the blood in your
01:10:14.140
head is reaching your dick in less than a millisecond dude but yeah for me it's like
01:10:19.000
sexual stimulation is not happening like my mind races to something else and i forget about sex
01:10:25.080
but like boobs again and it's like just right back jose is just a half chub all the time i think i
01:10:30.800
think that's how it wants i'm working out jose looks like a half chub dude you just constantly
01:10:35.240
you're just a semi dude you're walking around with a fucking a full of a half full penis dude that's
01:10:41.340
good are you guys showers or growers oh neither definitely uh yeah neither like does it look big
01:10:49.600
and then only grow a little bit or is it like you know almost like how about it in and then it comes
01:10:53.500
out like like listen jacob i've never met you but i'm working on my deltoids right now i don't even i
01:10:58.900
don't need to be talking about penis i have a i have a very fascinating phenomenon with my dick where
01:11:03.400
like it's either like like when it's soft obviously it'll be it'll be like sometimes it'll be two
01:11:09.080
inches and then sometimes it'll be like five and i'm like why why is my dick it's just doing things
01:11:15.180
but there's no there's no rhyme or reason hard hard or soft no no both soft oh okay all right
01:11:21.300
sometimes sometimes i i do still like you know how when you're a fucking you're like 16 you're like
01:11:27.920
maybe if i stretch this thing just come on like taffy you think you can taffy it out
01:11:33.640
you can't it's still joking it works yeah and then they make those things to grow back your
01:11:38.520
foreskin that like they literally grab the skin and just pull down on it gradually yeah
01:11:42.580
if i was gonna do a drug on stream it would definitely be molly and i just want to because
01:11:58.440
i feel like how i am now times molly i i don't know like i might be if i was on molly around cole
01:12:05.560
with his fucking sexy like beautiful beautiful man face i would fuck him for sure
01:12:11.540
beard is coming along nicely i must say yeah i you better put those you better put those
01:12:17.800
fucking collarbones away bro we're fucking danger right now
01:12:21.440
you're all too sexy and i bought uh like a beard conditioner and uh shampoo so i was like
01:12:27.900
cole cole is exactly what toad described his ideal transsexual partner to be
01:12:34.140
not quite yes uh yeah sorry my name is exactly what you described
01:12:40.700
he's like don't shave i don't want i want you to keep the dick i didn't say that
01:12:46.100
this is all subliminal messaging to fucking cole
01:12:49.340
yeah oh you want to get to hear like uh last week toad and jose both said if they were to fuck
01:13:00.200
you slipped by would you rather have the penis or actually have it cut off have it have the surgery
01:13:10.060
and have it removed have that disgusting cash exactly you don't have to fuck it and you're
01:13:14.700
fucking in the yeah i know you're fucking the butt but the gash is still a fucking right
01:13:17.860
there or a hole that was my argument it's all of course mommy thirst and in the chat look at
01:13:23.980
this bitch come on man you just said me look at her he's a married man damn hold on let me let
01:13:32.980
me let me correct you about what cole looks like cole looks like a long island transgender stripper
01:13:37.720
named cheryl nebraska dude that's what he looks like i'm not gonna lie i will stick out for i was
01:13:43.520
like when i first met cole i was like my you're more handsome than i thought
01:13:46.600
yeah when you see him in real life right too yeah no i thought i thought cole was really good looking
01:13:52.280
on stream and then i met him in person i was like oh you're a dwarf this is fun
01:13:55.460
i wasn't even close to the the shortest one there top was a lot was the one that was i know but but
01:14:02.880
you're so handsome i expected you to be my height and then i walk up and i'm like oh you're a little
01:14:06.520
person are you you're taller than me cole i'm pretty sure we're the same what are you five nine
01:14:10.900
yeah about you know what i'm five eight i'm five eight i know it's it's cole's proportions that his
01:14:18.880
like his like hips are so wide that when you stand next to him you're like am i am i told it's hard to
01:14:24.320
tell cole has very good birth yeah someone someone said i had uh the portions of a midget but if they
01:14:29.080
were just like not a midget i'm pretty sure that was me the first time i met you
01:14:32.800
you know you're not proportioned right you're very like you know you you legit have dwarf you
01:14:39.500
have dwarf syndrome but like in a five foot eight body it doesn't make any sense at all
01:14:42.920
you have a fucking dwarf's ass but you're five eight i've i've i've had uh uh how do you
01:14:50.000
you you weren't even there like i've never met for us i should have a booty stalking you
01:14:55.760
my ass has been on the internet you you've shown it to me on and i also did
01:15:01.920
i i send the our group chat uh ass pictures every day yes all the time yeah it's the only
01:15:08.520
reason i still let him on the show yeah exactly especially knowing outside uh bending over
01:15:14.840
backwards they get dude i i mean with how crunchy i've been getting i thought about you know going
01:15:19.940
out and sunning my asshole it's like you know if you know it can't hurt like what if that shit
01:15:25.720
what if that shit actually works that's what what if like what if we all missing out like it's like
01:15:30.580
a thing of like hold up hold hold up you said it can't hurt it certainly the fuck can you get a
01:15:36.300
sunburn on your asshole and you try to shit dude what the fuck are you talking about dude dry wiping
01:15:42.560
dry wiping with a sunburn on your asshole holy shit dude and and if you're a professional trans
01:15:48.240
prostitute like cole uh you're gonna really regret having him you guys ever you ever guys you guys
01:15:53.380
ever like wipe your ass and it's slippery so you wipe the shit up onto your tailbone that'll happen
01:15:58.040
that'll happen dude yeah when you have like diarrhea yeah that can happen i went out for i will tell you i
01:16:04.580
went out uh on saturday for my anniversary dinner which had a great i had a 40 ounce tomahawk and i also
01:16:10.980
had um oh what's it called what's the steak when it's uh just uncooked and they uh and they
01:16:17.500
i had steak tartare oh tartare yeah and so elizabeth didn't want to eat tartare she was like
01:16:23.940
i don't want to she was like i can't just take her for some blowing fucking
01:16:27.400
and and so i ate the entire like appetizer of steak tartare and then i ate like another like 10 to 12
01:16:36.680
ounces of the tomahawk the next day i shit like nobody's business dude it was one of those like
01:16:43.520
diarrhea all day wiping and getting like shit all up on my tailbone
01:16:49.080
the slippery wipes i i thought about going to get my wife from my kid and being like i have to like
01:16:59.940
this is the only way to get this stuff you know clean yeah it's a problem it does become a problem
01:17:06.240
it's it's almost to the point where you need like uh you ever use one of those chamois on a to dry your
01:17:12.320
car off after you wash it like a sham wow dude you need a sham wow yeah dude at some point you
01:17:18.640
could shower dude i've i've really thought about getting a a bidet because i feel like that's
01:17:24.840
gonna be dude so i just want my wife won't lick my asshole so i figured i'd try to i try to take a
01:17:31.240
shower after i shit so just just so you just so you gentlemen know i i uh my uncle had a bidet i went
01:17:37.760
out to south dakota spent some time with him um not just him okay come on now um i fucked him if
01:17:45.480
anybody was fucking anybody come on um he had a bidet and what will happen is if you sit too far
01:17:52.520
back on the seat you'll get shot in the balls so you got to make sure you're positioned yeah that
01:17:57.680
sounds pretty nice not dude not when it splits the two and it gets those weird little cords that
01:18:02.940
are holding them yeah oh yeah i was ever yeah it gives you a vasectomy because there's ones that
01:18:08.340
have the front spray and the back spray and if you if you don't know which one's the right direction
01:18:12.520
you get a nice little spray one of those fancy japanese toilets yeah it's hard to tell what's
01:18:17.140
going on with that dude yeah it'll split the scrub go right down the seam it'll hurt by the way if you
01:18:23.300
do use wet wipes and you flush those fuckers i hate you and i hope you die do not i used to do that
01:18:29.780
when i went wet wipes i didn't give a fuck they have flushable wipes man no they don't burn
01:18:34.640
the story the story is my asshole i don't give a shit about your goddamn problems as an engineer
01:18:39.340
so the story zach was saying before where he took his shit and put it in in a garbage garbage can
01:18:44.620
yeah uh in in like old school spanish homes and people still do it in america if they're from like
01:18:49.300
uh south america or puerto rico whatever they'll wipe their ass with toilet paper and then put it in
01:18:54.220
the garbage bin and they go play and do they go play silent hill on the computer directly after
01:18:59.680
they don't even watch well they were they were uh rich enough to have computers uh zach they
01:19:03.820
they went outside to play dominoes uh my my great aunt her house that's what she did she always it was
01:19:11.080
i don't know if they had like didn't have indoor plumbing or something but she was always she would
01:19:15.140
wipe her ass and throw it in the trash um i also did the grab the shit and put it but i put it in a
01:19:20.940
toilet i was taking a bath with my cousin uh i was very young i was probably like eight or nine
01:19:26.840
and we're taking a bath together i was 17 and i and i let it i let it go in the bath and i had to
01:19:33.440
discreetly grab it and take it out and put it in and pretend to go take a shit in the toilet and just
01:19:40.180
oh fuck wait cool you didn't we have a septic tank babe oh my god yeah stop that shit i would i would
01:19:48.900
never do that at my place you need to stop that woman it's not a good one i guess it's like 40
01:19:56.680
years old you're in way too good a shape and you're way too attractive to be putting up with
01:20:01.180
some fucking bullshit like that you got to get out of that relationship man i still i i mean i mean i
01:20:06.640
haven't gotten pussy man like i know how's the time before you get attached you know get out what if
01:20:12.880
your balls what if your balls hung so low that you could wipe your ass with your balls what about that
01:20:17.940
well i could about that i could i absolutely but why would it be a stretch but i could do it
01:20:23.340
my balls are touching my my taint right now like it's it's top what do you mean why would you it's
01:20:29.940
so comfortable it's like flesh on flesh dude yeah well because the reason why you wouldn't is because
01:20:36.940
you'd have shit on the back of your balls yeah but that's that's negligible that's a negligible point
01:20:42.520
because you have running water like there's a new system where you wipe it with your balls
01:20:48.220
and dip your balls in a little like a little like oh that'd be great there's like a little water like
01:20:52.980
a little water bowl maybe that's what the seashells were for from demolition man oh yeah dude they call
01:21:00.240
it we'll call it the ball bidet you wipe your ass with your balls water shoots up and cleans off the
01:21:05.500
back of your balls you go on the road you go on with the rest of your day you go on the road
01:21:10.000
no paper involved yeah yeah true true have you have you had to use the because again like i said we
01:21:17.760
have a really bad septic tank so we've had to buy the cheap scott paper by the way i'm like legit mad
01:21:23.640
at your wife for you she said she was joking and i don't believe her now but i still don't believe
01:21:29.120
like but uh are we really gonna just like let this go that zach said no no you you wipe your
01:21:35.940
asshole you you have a bidet you had no no hold on hold on you have a bidet but you use your balls
01:21:41.840
you put the shit on your balls and then you bidet your balls so you have you have shit that has been
01:21:46.640
in your asshole and on your balls and then you just use a spray to get rid of it why would you do that
01:21:50.100
all i'm trying to do is promote biological self-reliance perfect for your butthole yeah truly and
01:21:56.440
honestly yeah if you're a woman and you're not wiping your asshole with your pussy lips i don't
01:21:59.980
want to have i don't want oh i'm sorry dude all i'll listen bugs because the bugs will just go in
01:22:05.960
and clean your intestinal tract out and then you don't have to shit anymore anymore yeah oh yeah
01:22:10.240
just hog it all up uh i will but like i was saying i had to use scott's uh toilet paper which is
01:22:16.880
scott's flushable come on yeah you might as well just fucking wipe your ass with your bare hand
01:22:22.160
like that shit is completely i literally like sandpaper because i mean they say that you get
01:22:27.220
like twice as much toilet paper but it's because they literally it's so thin i literally just grab
01:22:31.700
it i'm just like fold fold fold fold fold and wipe my ass and it's like it's always like glued on
01:22:36.420
like the first one is like yes terribly and you're like shredding it apart trying to get like
01:22:41.260
oh god and it's all we can use if we don't use that it will destroy our septic tank oh yeah
01:22:46.060
so like i i'm i'm in a uh fucked situation so we have a 1902 home and our plumbing is shit so i
01:22:52.760
mean it's not septic tank but the pipes are so small and weak that we have to use the cheapest
01:22:57.880
toilet paper like that so terrible city water you call yourself an anarchist you fucking piece of
01:23:02.720
shit i wonder if i feel like toad buys like triple ply like oh i got the nice uh yeah yeah yeah
01:23:14.620
you ever get those there's like manly butt wipes that have like the uh um dude wipes yeah they're
01:23:19.960
the dude my uh wife bought me them for christmas last year i forget what they had some kind of like
01:23:24.260
it wasn't aloe it was some kind of other like it was like mint like you have to wipe your butt you
01:23:28.360
have like minty minty kind of like cooling it's like it's like aftershave that's that's an
01:23:33.960
actually moron if ever i heard one that you know those manly butt wipes no i don't
01:23:38.160
uh just clinch just uses all the beanies he wears on this fucking podcast
01:23:44.280
how many times how many times do you have to wipe before you like stop and like and like 12 dude
01:23:52.920
lately 12 it's bad okay okay i feel bad for saying this like i i do stop at a point and i'm just like
01:24:00.980
there's still like a little bit like a brown on there i'm like i i mean i got most of it
01:24:06.920
it's literally all or nothing it's either like first wipe and done because it's like you're just
01:24:12.480
like magic or it's just like you're you're like all right fuck this usually by the third wipe i'm
01:24:17.760
like i i'm done you get to a point you're like this isn't gonna stop it just keeps coming i don't
01:24:22.780
know why my time is important to me let me let me tell you let me tell you something my asshole's
01:24:26.940
like the southern border everything's getting through dude there's nothing there's nothing i can do
01:24:31.540
to stop it dude there's just it doesn't matter dude you put border patrol down there good
01:24:36.020
here's my here's my policy you wipe four times on the fourth time if you see brown you wipe a fifth
01:24:41.120
time you don't look you're done you go if you go about you did you wipe the first time and there's
01:24:49.180
nothing on there already and you're like did i even just shit like it's definitely mine fuck
01:24:53.060
those those are very rare because my asshole is very hairy worst mommy said that's how you get uh
01:24:58.000
hemorrhoids i've never had hemorrhoids that's true that is true actually does have hemorrhoids
01:25:02.680
wait wait wait from all of what things did we say is the way from from from the uh leave
01:25:08.800
excessive excessive wiping yeah no i think non-excessive right you know none of you know
01:25:14.060
none of you know what you're talking about you know what they got hemorrhoids from pregnancy
01:25:18.660
let me let me tell you what's going on here so so cole this shit works out for me and you so if we
01:25:23.140
wipe our ass and like the fifth time there's like there's still shit on it we have the butt cheek
01:25:28.100
capacity to just be like we can go throughout the day and our butt cheeks are like stealing the
01:25:33.880
shit inside there clint who is i know he has told me multiple times he does not wear underwear and
01:25:40.540
wears basketball shorts constantly is doing the same thing so that means his butthole is directly
01:25:46.280
against these basketball shorts and he's just walking around just dirty assed all day like this
01:25:51.360
you're a dirty ass millionaire walking around like that's dope that's dope yo and not only that
01:25:57.620
but i'll go to the gym and i'll be oh man oh yeah i'm serious he'd be like doing he'd be like doing
01:26:04.920
bench press and he like gets up and like i mean that those ass cheek uh imprints but here's here's
01:26:11.480
the silver lining and i do this for kanye my my building filled with jews so hell yeah yeah i
01:26:17.800
supported kanye are we doing yay or cray tonight i don't think we have time we're an hour and a
01:26:22.460
half i'm not sticking around yeah no no i i kind of want to end like wrap this up with uh with
01:26:27.560
butthole wiping because i mean yeah yeah you're crazy good one i mean i'll explain it to you guys so
01:26:34.160
you know what you're missing out on my cousin are we not gonna do it just do it of course mommy said
01:26:39.720
that's kind of hot clint thank you jesus fuck send me news i guess i guess there is something too
01:26:46.980
because it's kind of like a woman not wearing panties what yearly salary at what if he was
01:26:56.500
going to make less money a year would it no longer be attractive that's what i want to know oh oh yeah
01:27:01.440
like if i was homeless it's not hot at all where is that cut off is it like a hundred thousand a year
01:27:07.540
120 it's how much money do i have to make to not wipe my ass at all right all right i bet if i was
01:27:13.820
bill gates i would stop showering like i think i think she meant the commando part not the five
01:27:19.060
not the five wipe and and run rule but those those are intertwined you can't separate those
01:27:26.180
like if that's happening it's still i'm surprised by how many women watch the show it's yeah mostly
01:27:32.900
women why all the comments we get are women and then like and lorenzo the crowd at the robbie the
01:27:41.460
event with robbie was like really weird we were like i was not expecting this demographic
01:27:45.440
the gangbang after though was way better than i expected no it's a middle-aged women
01:27:51.680
yeah it was crazy anyway so listen the game that we were gonna play was called uh yay or cray so my
01:27:57.500
cousin had a mental breakdown and he was threatening to kill my mom and like other family members it was
01:28:02.140
really fun on facebook um so we were just gonna pull up some of his uh some of his comments like
01:28:08.760
just like just i mean some of the most bizarre shit and then some of kanye west's comments and
01:28:13.720
see if we could determine which was which and i also want to say he's still on facebook which is
01:28:19.720
crazy he's literally threatening death like daily it's it's crazy it's like pulling us out by name
01:28:25.880
do you want to do it do you want to do it next episode what do we want to do we'll do the next
01:28:30.660
episode but i go on facebook and i say like something like i think trump did something pretty okay
01:28:35.420
here and they're like 30 day ban they just kick kick me like we laid this all out like hey mailbag
01:28:41.420
board we're gonna do all this tonight and then we don't do any fuck you mailbag boy
01:28:46.340
sorry but hey the yay or cray is gonna be pretty funny because uh like i saw some of those things
01:28:54.580
that uh tops cousin was saying and it is legit like it's insane yeah the guy it's like a mental
01:29:01.500
breakdown like i'm surprised you didn't get arrested or maybe you did it's such a poverty
01:29:07.720
ridden mental breakdown too because you just tell there's not much intelligence going on there
01:29:11.820
it's uh yeah it's in the family did robbie meet uh force mommy like last week i i feel like they
01:29:18.920
banked i don't know like i just feel like they did robbie like saw force mommy like last week
01:29:23.360
they're fire force really gonna be weird if they didn't honestly yeah honestly yeah
01:29:27.240
so good for them uh tell us in the comments if you fuck yeah or did you like blow them or give
01:29:35.600
them a hand job or something like something cool like that yeah i mean something casual between
01:29:40.020
friends yeah yeah yeah like a casual blowjob like like we do whenever tower game beats us it's all
01:29:46.040
did you did you fuck his girlfriend oh we should we should popularize the concept of like casual
01:29:52.980
blowjobs so like any any girls that watch the show like if you want to like meet us what we should
01:29:59.540
do you what you guys should do is have a call to action no so here's what you do you call call to
01:30:05.340
action all the ladies out there go to your nearest auto shop grab the the the the the nearest
01:30:12.820
defunct car battery and throw it over the overpass and film yourself doing it and if it hits a honda
01:30:19.480
accord when it's driving you get to be on the show for two minutes that's what happens
01:30:25.380
all you have to do is commit murder it will be a sweeping beneficial social program that gets rid of
01:30:34.360
honda accord drivers and and car batteries and and gets rid of yeah yeah yeah dead car batteries
01:30:41.680
and arrest white woman yes and it this is why i wanted zach on the show because i knew he would
01:30:47.080
bring the the genius concepts it was perfect oh yeah yes it's important to recycle he's the he's the
01:30:53.200
idea man in our sphere like he has he comes up with the best ideas on they're all felonies but he's got
01:30:58.800
a lot of you know if this will become if someone actually does it and be like your honor it was
01:31:04.120
legitimately a joke we say that as our defense hey guys here's an idea if you in your brain believe
01:31:15.920
someone is a fed murder them film it send it to us get on the show and totally fine like it's in your
01:31:22.740
if it's in your mind telling you they're a fed totally fine you lost in which case in which case
01:31:29.520
all the people that dm toad are going to be resting in peace i was i was just thinking of that those
01:31:35.300
memes about like uh the snail in my ear you know have you seen the uh those memes about telling me to
01:31:40.700
uh to murder like the the woman at the the drive-thru or some shit like that
01:31:44.700
weird intrusive thoughts yeah those weird intrusive thoughts like which trials but with feds and the
01:31:51.840
libertarian movement oh do you guys remember that uh video we were going to play the show a while
01:31:56.160
back of the dude getting uh thank you yeah there it is you you know i'm talking about the the video
01:32:03.220
you want us to play was a guy getting axe in the head and i didn't make that show but i was going
01:32:07.300
to defend it because i was going to defend it from the point of i think he was just like
01:32:10.340
had the axe and he had that split moment of like i should hit him in the head and they just like
01:32:14.260
split well you know you've never had intrusive thoughts where you're like i should just like
01:32:19.440
do that i have a thought no i have a thought right now i actually had the defense of it
01:32:23.540
yeah what's your thought i think that you guys should also install a holiday that's called um
01:32:29.940
violently abuse everyone darker than top lobs today because he seems to be he seems to be a good
01:32:36.520
border mark here because the problem is like all those people that are dark in the top can fight
01:32:41.760
and so like it's gonna be we just have to organize better than them cole doesn't just reach you
01:32:47.240
anything we just have to be more well armed not the ones in chairs you can fucking dude you could
01:32:52.700
you could really you could whoop up on a wheelchair bitch real quick by the way the defense of the
01:32:57.400
axe thing was the guy that had the axe in his hands he was planning on purchasing the axe from
01:33:02.800
somebody else so he had to test the merchandise to see if it worked first i swear he just had a
01:33:06.960
fuck up in his brain like you watch him he's just messing with it like not caring the world and just
01:33:11.060
like for a moment just like and it was like that thought in the back of the head like i should just hit him
01:33:14.820
the head and he's a donk and then probably that's true i shouldn't have done that dude i that's that's
01:33:19.480
true because have you ever like have you ever just had something and then you just just you don't know
01:33:23.580
why you do it you just go fang and you just hit somebody and they're like what the fuck and i'm like
01:33:28.500
i don't know either i really don't know either i don't really do that i do that to girls a lot
01:33:34.520
like legitimately it's the same it's the same um impulse that people get when they're holding a
01:33:40.980
beautiful beautiful newborn and they're like i should fucking grab a butt end of a screwdriver
01:33:50.820
the memes about like uh there's like that huge like ginormous
01:33:55.040
and there's like the earth and it's like it has a finger going down it's like whenever i see a baby
01:33:59.580
i don't know if this is the same thing but sometimes when i'm driving and my wife starts complaining i'm
01:34:07.340
looking at oncoming traffic and i'm like i could just end this right now
01:34:09.900
i have i have so many intrusive thoughts about like just riding off the road
01:34:15.100
like my main one is whenever i'm like especially next to like a small woman i'm just like in my
01:34:21.600
you'd be like i can definitely rape you right now
01:34:25.680
this is the main genesis of my anxiety disorder is that i get those thoughts but then i just like
01:34:32.760
can't let them go even though i've never acted on any of them how do you guys just let it go
01:34:37.920
i always like that one looks about 95 pounds i think i could probably like i might be able to
01:34:44.060
kill her you let it go you let it go by not by not watching porn when you jerk off that's you you
01:34:49.580
think about these things and then you really that's the terrible thing to jerk off to dude
01:34:54.880
that's the problem with like pedophiles is like they they were the ones that couldn't
01:34:59.040
like these were the intrusive thoughts and they just let them intrude and they never pushed them out
01:35:04.060
i mean i actually i don't think like i didn't well i guess i do think about like the uh the
01:35:09.220
driving and oncoming traffic sometimes you do you do right yeah or just like uh or like the edge of
01:35:16.040
like a big cliff and being like jump yeah i have these thoughts but then i have to pull my car over
01:35:21.740
and you guys are just like i go faster you know guys have actually murdered their wives that way
01:35:28.380
they're just like hey honey why don't you unbuckle your seat a little bit right now
01:35:31.680
it's kind of like a viral thing to do now of like like going insanely fast in traffic and just like
01:35:40.920
and like and there's videos of it and it's insane of people going like 90 100 miles an hour in like
01:35:47.320
pretty dense traffic and then just wrecking and it's there's a bunch of videos i can send
01:35:53.200
yeah but it's like it's all you want like the passenger seat and it's always black people
01:35:57.040
always like it's exactly really weird it's weird you ever be driving on a bridge and you're just
01:36:02.160
like one flick of my wrist it would end it all and you just go oh back to the normal reality
01:36:06.220
it's not that you're like i want to die you're just like huh i have dreams about it i have dreams
01:36:12.620
about driving over bridges and and uh careening off into the water yeah you know what sometimes
01:36:18.580
because i'm just driving on the road and it does make you feel like an npc it's like i can only do
01:36:22.740
this but then yeah you're right in florida especially there's a lot of like
01:36:25.740
and i think i think about jacob daniel and i think i think about jacob daniel and i look at god and i
01:36:42.860
say i could do this right now and i could i could totally just go whamp and right into that ditch
01:36:46.820
who cares right dude automotive automotive homicide is actually like the the ultimate red pill like
01:36:53.180
it's the next level like where where you're just like look i'm not playing with your fucking rules
01:36:58.120
anymore so you better you better get off the sidewalk grandma i'm in a multi-thousand pound
01:37:04.920
like metal machine i can do whatever you want this would be a war machine like 200 years ago this
01:37:17.240
would be the greatest technologically war machine ever built my corvette could fucking like cut kids
01:37:26.120
in half and i was just a disney world i'm gonna do it tomorrow jacob you said there wasn't you had
01:37:32.500
interest of thoughts that were mine is whenever i'm like like on a high uh like high rise or like
01:37:39.320
on top of something like a large drop off i think about like if like whether it's my wife or a friend
01:37:45.420
or sometimes my kids and they're like hanging off like the edge of the rail and i'm just like
01:37:48.780
i wonder if i push them if they would die or not oh yeah like are we at that critical point where like
01:37:53.420
are they dead or are they just like fucked up in the hospital for a few months
01:37:57.160
i don't think i don't think that's just a hassle i have
01:38:00.460
i uh i do also have the thing i don't know if i i've heard this is i've heard a lot of people have
01:38:09.780
had this and it might be a guy thing of like looking when you're driving or in a passenger seat
01:38:14.440
looking out the window and pretending you can shoot lasers out of your eyes and just cutting
01:38:19.020
everything like you're just passing by and just cutting trees down
01:38:30.780
i totally love everybody but if i cut you in half with my eyes i fucking would
01:38:37.300
i look like cyclops and i'm just mowing people down
01:38:41.700
i just imagine his wife driving around and just looking out the window dreamy out of the clouds
01:38:45.780
did you guys see wait did you see the video i sent you in the group chat about the these kids in
01:38:53.140
i mean it's europe but they put all boys in a house and then they put all girls in the house
01:38:57.920
this is we're describing exactly that all the girls in the house for 10 days they were like doing
01:39:03.300
fashion shows and like who's gonna cook today and all this shit they also clean up
01:39:07.780
and bully the shit out of two girls yeah they were kind of mean but that's like normal
01:39:11.940
the boys immediately wrecked the place they bullied each other they separated into gangs
01:39:18.120
it was amazing i was like yes they went straight lord of the flies by the way my my thought my thought
01:39:24.620
as opposed to being like lasers out of my eyes whenever i meet my guy friends especially from
01:39:28.660
the internet i think about like i i size them up and i decide if i can rape them or if they can rape
01:39:33.260
me and then are you being serious like if you're being serious that is really funny
01:39:38.040
what do you think could you rape me it's it's it's not i mean you're pretty quick but like i think i
01:39:43.960
could overpower you i think but i feel like with rape you have to be able to like especially with a
01:39:48.440
man you need to be like greatly overpower them so it's like it's not like could i beat you in a
01:39:53.520
fight like could i rape you is like another level so yeah the thing is it's like it's it's like
01:39:58.760
touching rim versus dunking yeah that's a great analogy because i can actually hang on the rim
01:40:05.340
and i am nowhere near you no you can't yeah no when i every time i the the the the thing that i
01:40:11.620
always thought you can touch my rim whenever you want clint oh come on now come on now you make that
01:40:18.560
thing pulsate a little bit come on now make a quiver dude here's the difference between you and me
01:40:25.040
cole you would think about like lasers coming coming out of your eyes when you were watching
01:40:28.500
things pass in the car i was a child at five and i'm and my dad's driving i'm like they better not
01:40:33.260
ban fracking you're right i've i thought about it for you ever like very little and the problem is i
01:40:41.860
also then my like autistic brain comes in and i literally think and i it's it's literally every
01:40:47.500
time think about if the laser were going would it follow the curvature of the earth and come back
01:40:52.960
around and kill me or to just go off into space forever wouldn't if you have flatter of dave on your
01:40:57.900
fucking lasers lasers not prone to gravity you goddamn imbecile i know but like wait look at dave
01:41:05.620
in the in the chat talking about if he can kill animals like this that's just a step too far
01:41:09.740
black holes can bend yeah yeah jesus man decapitate kids don't kill animals
01:41:14.980
running over old people not pets monster yeah it is crazy i have talking about raping our best guy
01:41:23.740
friends not killing you'll never work for this show david yeah dude you had to be the producer
01:41:30.860
of this show you have to not have gone through puberty yet okay there's a line there's a line and
01:41:37.700
you just passed it we don't talk about hurting pets there's a guy new in high school that he would uh
01:41:42.860
i think i've told this before that he would bury the kittens up to their necks and then run over
01:41:46.280
with a lawnmower oh yeah he let his intrusive thoughts win i do love you i do love the idea
01:41:51.820
that if i lose this battle that like decades from now there'll be a story going around but
01:41:55.680
if you're that time that one guy literally killed the one with one punch
01:41:58.940
that's literally you know who you know who actually lived this and is and is the most successful person
01:42:07.620
in the world still it's mark walberg dude he punched a vietnamese guy's eye out yeah and he's
01:42:14.020
fucking a celebrity dude but he had head down yeah yeah he keeps his head down and his shoulder
01:42:23.040
oh my god it gets me thinking about these people that do these mass murders and shit it's like
01:42:34.700
they're just acting on their inhibitions but they're extremely uncreative like cole was saying
01:42:38.740
i would be cutting people in half with my eyes or with my dick maybe even like a laser through my
01:42:42.760
dick they oh boy i don't know you did a lobotomy on a gay black man so what when going back to like
01:42:48.820
when will smith uh slapped chris rock i was like that's so uncreative like if you're gonna get pissed
01:42:53.580
off and go and assault someone like cut his head off yeah like do something more interesting to just
01:42:57.600
like bitch him in the balls like you know what astounds me though the low body counts at those
01:43:03.500
it's like people they always freak out like oh my god these don't be wrong every every life it's
01:43:07.800
like sacred whatever the fuck but like you're like really this is an unarmed populace and you only got
01:43:14.020
16 what is the only the only mass shooter i've ever respected was a christ church guy i was like
01:43:19.880
all right 60 like all right yeah you're putting in you're putting in work everybody else it's like
01:43:24.820
it's like a dozen i'm like dude you you've been training for this for how long come on yeah
01:43:29.600
this is how you decide to go out and you this is how bad you fuck up like that truck at waukesha
01:43:35.860
waukesha did a pretty decent decent job no the one that is the one that is a really like six yeah
01:43:41.800
yeah wow i take it back the biggest fucking fuck up because he like shot like thousands of rounds
01:43:49.540
and got what like yeah but those were like 15 saudis from a helicopter that doesn't count
01:43:54.560
i'm still saying they still shot thousands of rounds that only got like was it like 15 dead it
01:44:01.780
wasn't that many like it wasn't no they would do there's 50 how many guys still i mean i mean the
01:44:06.960
the ratio there well considering that there was thousands of people down below and you're just
01:44:10.540
fucking rapid firing all over the place yeah yeah and you only hit like 50 i mean come on and what
01:44:16.520
what it makes me think is like you're so unlucky to be like first off you're super unlucky to be at that
01:44:23.060
event right and then there's thousands of people and you're one of the 50 that's just too dumb to
01:44:27.820
get out of the way of the bullet you know hold on hold on wasn't it wasn't it wasn't it a jason
01:44:31.940
aldean concert it was it was a country music festival i was i was at the same festival two years prior
01:44:39.600
and i was like and i hate country music but this fucking hot girl invited me so i went but anyways i
01:44:45.140
didn't get shot at the official story about like it being from the hotel and and the massive
01:44:50.280
arsenal that i had i'm like how like don't get us started none of it makes sense don't get us
01:44:54.760
started because this nobody was like this guy's made like a hundred trips into his room with these
01:44:59.540
giant bags just like what's it like it was like whoa i don't care well and andy has no motive
01:45:05.380
and the sandy hook shooter wasn't even a resident of that school like
01:45:10.240
you know david hogg to get our channel moved i appreciate it well i i respect the sandy hook
01:45:19.600
shooter the least because he never did any of it so all right wow there we go and he went after
01:45:25.900
little kids which is just not cool unless you're in your fucking corvette in which case
01:45:29.600
that's right or you have laser eyes on the front of it you have laser eyes and you see if you have
01:45:34.560
laser eyes dude if i end up running over kids at disneyland tomorrow my corvette or if cole like
01:45:39.620
assassinates a bunch of people with his eyes like don't say we didn't warn you so the laser eyes thing
01:45:45.740
is cool because i can't can other people see your lasers like i i think of them as uh cyclops from x-men
01:45:52.840
also it's like a red it's like a red beam that just comes out of my eyes so they'll be able to
01:45:57.680
track him see i really liked that there was a guy going around with his uh his nephew or something
01:46:02.200
like that and he was laying in the trunk with a sniper rifle yes and just shooting people in the
01:46:06.780
parking lot they were like dude that was a dc sniper yeah they were the biggest that was fucking sick
01:46:11.540
they got away with it for a long time you should do that
01:46:17.380
you know i've i've clint clint's been waiting realized to try to honeypot somebody and finally
01:46:33.280
top's the one that's radicalizing me i i thought these were just intrusive thoughts that i've been
01:46:40.260
fighting you guys are embracing them and you're just like this is awesome we just let you know
01:46:44.320
it's perfectly normal go go ahead zach i'm sorry i was just gonna say i finally thought of uh an
01:46:50.020
irrational fear that i have um i didn't give it at the at the beginning and nobody asked so i as a
01:46:56.840
bashful boy that i am i i stayed quiet um um i have an irrational fear of having an extraordinarily
01:47:06.100
long hair in my penis hole and having to pull it out i've had that before but not like that line
01:47:13.680
like somehow my wife's hair has gone in my people before i don't know how the fuck it happened but
01:47:17.800
it happened i was it was like infinite like one of those uh like magician's tricks where they pull
01:47:23.080
like the cloth out forever it's like no it's not let's not be ridiculous toad no
01:47:27.540
this is a bunch of ribbons i feel like that wouldn't even hurt no because i'm a feel like i
01:47:35.680
feel like event like if i keep pulling my balls gonna come out oh that's one of my one of my
01:47:41.140
rational fears is uh is like the skin like that's rational the nail like one of your nails get the
01:47:48.600
hangnails and like ripping that thing and just say oh yeah let's go let's go just keep going
01:47:53.820
that's an irrational fear yeah that's why you just gotta get rid of them like a like a fucking candy
01:47:58.540
cane down your yeah it just keeps going like like the string cheese whenever you were little just
01:48:02.680
it just keeps going just all the way up an irrational irrational rational fear of mine is
01:48:07.560
like breaking my pinky finger i broke both of them i broke them backwards but like i still if
01:48:13.340
someone's throwing something at me it's like flash yeah but it's irrational because it's like
01:48:17.620
very rare for that to happen but i still will i'll keep these two fingers together if i'm it's
01:48:22.180
also very rare to get your weird ass skin color so maybe you just attract rarities in life
01:48:28.080
oh i i actually have another i i've one this is coming from the fucking ginger this is unbelievable
01:48:33.660
i cannot believe this we're at an hour 50 yeah and top has beautiful skin you do you do have
01:48:40.560
beautiful skin all right i have an irrational fear of windmills actually and it's not because i hate the
01:48:46.060
climate change agendas because i like i always envisioned the blades just spinning right off of
01:48:51.740
the thing and flying right at me decapitating me you know what i'm saying is it is it because you
01:48:57.140
you you actually do look like a toad and birds of prey are yes are your natural enemy so things high
01:49:04.620
in the sky with flapping fucking extremities scare the shit out of you anything above them
01:49:10.040
when you started that when you started that reply i was like this is going nowhere and then you
01:49:15.280
fucking nailed it good job this is what ty aims to be
01:49:19.220
this is long meandering jokes but then it gets and it hits
01:49:23.780
this is a lot of meandering jokes and then fizzles out right at the end
01:49:27.060
and then you take a long inhale what do you do every wednesday do you want to do all the work for
01:49:32.580
we have an opening um can you change your name to some weird reptile
01:49:38.880
you look like a charmeleon charmeleon what the fuck oh yeah chameleon
01:49:47.520
if we were playing toad with charmeleon that'd be pretty funny
01:49:52.580
all right guys let's do plugs get the fuck out of here
01:49:55.740
i do want to ask real quick uh top why'd you uh shave your head like why'd you cut your hair
01:50:00.560
oh i just got i just got bored of it i don't know it looks better like that you made the right
01:50:05.400
decision uh clint russell liberty lockdown subscribe make sure that you like comment
01:50:09.280
and subscribe on this episode right now and make sure you also go to toplobs.com pick up
01:50:13.960
fucking naturalist capitalist shit and everybody else's shit and then uh make sure that you also
01:50:18.200
uh subscribe to the show on your audio catcher because it's very probable that we'll get nuked off
01:50:23.800
of youtube so you want to make sure you don't miss any episodes you know what i'm saying
01:50:26.240
wait wait do you guys like the hair or not because clint said he hated it
01:50:30.320
i like it i don't know i like it the picture where you're buff and you had a little bit of a like
01:50:33.780
a little bit in the top i want you to look like young uh rock yeah i thought you look like you
01:50:40.360
like you were yeah you were trying out for like jersey shore like reboot yeah yeah you look like
01:50:47.900
which is kind of cool you look you look like you're yeah you shaved your head and you're like
01:50:52.540
i'm going to israel now that's kind of like what you look like right now
01:50:54.980
like i i i yeah but like not not the tiny hat wasn't fitting on the hair so i had to shave it
01:51:02.280
off no no no no he looks like he's going there to commit atrocities let's be honest
01:51:06.000
i'm just trying to can we touch on the uh honestly you look like you look like you were throwing rocks
01:51:12.440
all right so all right that's the perfect way to end it
01:51:16.900
what's the patreon for us yeah patreon.com slash tower gang pod oh it was like fuck this i'm out uh
01:51:25.280
jacob real quick plug your shit you're muted you dumbass perfect right
01:51:31.260
at biblical anarchy on twitter finally shit there zach um at unfit statesman on uh twitter and
01:51:42.140
instagram all everywhere you find podcasts except youtube and uh patreon.com slash unfit statesman
01:51:49.540
you go fucking over there and you give me some fucking hey i've been on his uh patreon stream
01:51:54.320
multiple times it's always good shit it's funny yeah it's funny i almost forgot you guys have two
01:51:59.100
days at podcast merch.com to buy uh the latest it's like skanks legion of skanks uh christmas stuff
01:52:06.400
use promo code ho ho ho for 10 off you and also uh i get pieces of shit part of the problem uh
01:52:13.580
shirt too out there that's right that's exclusive that's there's only a couple left so go buy that
01:52:18.100
hell yeah i'm jose guys on i have the no way jose show i got some more okc stuff coming up for you
01:52:24.260
guys soon i know a lot of you guys are demanding that uh yeah um that's all i got yeah follow me
01:52:30.180
no way jose that's my podcast um at the fat dave on twitter also uh zach someone mentioned are you
01:52:37.220
afraid of catheters because that's what you basically described with the hair yeah i'm also
01:52:42.380
have you had a has anybody had a catheter because i had and it fucking sucks afterwards no but i'm
01:52:47.740
afraid of it it literally it it feels like uh needles because they make you piss and if you don't
01:52:53.160
piss like they put it back in but when they take it out and you have to piss it feels like needles
01:52:57.820
like going into your dick and you like pee like tiny little dribbles it's it's one of the most
01:53:03.800
like the most intense like pain i'm guessing it's kind of the same pain as a um uh a kidney stone
01:53:11.280
jose's got to get out of here he only got 60 dollars from his father yeah dude let's let's wrap
01:53:15.640
like listen let's let's let's wrap this shit up the blacks are the real israelites let's go come
01:53:20.720
on come on amen that day we see like a dying animal on the road that's just like sitting there like
01:53:25.220
just there watch it and talk to it as it's like they're suffering instead of just putting it out
01:53:30.500
of it usually i usually i watch it as it slowly like inflates as it uh and then blows up i don't
01:53:36.140
know if you ever watched that happen to roadkill over the time but it's really funny yeah you guys
01:53:40.060
keep going tangents let's get no no no tower game toad tower power uh subscribe to the patreon and then
01:53:48.960
you can submit to the mail bob oh yeah fuckers peace peace you actually i love that that night