Tower Gang - December 17, 2022


Ep 101 - Manatee's Knees w⧸ Unfit Statesman & Jacob Daniel

Topics
butthole wiping
Hosted by
Clint Russell Toad Jose Galison Cole TopLobsta Layne Tyler (Janke)
Mentioned
Jacob Daniel David Hogg Phil Phil Gwyneth Paltrow Martha Bueno Mark Wahlberg Alex Stein Joe Rogan Theo Von
Ep 100 - A Natural Man Ep 102 - Gigachad Behavior

Episode Stats


Length

1 hour and 53 minutes

Words per minute

196.17

Word count

22,354

Sentence count

7

Harmful content

Misogyny

91

sentences flagged

Toxicity

637

sentences flagged

Hate speech

348

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

On this episode of liberty lockdown, we have a live edition of No Way Jose and Zach Brown on the show, and we also have our special guest, the Fattest fucking Dad in the World, the Father Dave.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
Topics generated with Qwen2.5-3B-Instruct.
Hosts, guests, and mentioned names generated with spaCy (en_core_web_sm), reconciled against Wikidata.
00:00:00.000 what's up retards the funniest 9-11 jokes were written on 9-12 women jerk off dicks like 1.00
00:00:06.500 fucking they're an unruly ferret yeah you ever had a 9-11 cocktail it's in manhattan with two 1.00
00:00:13.760 kamikazes you see the socialists don't have an accurate answer for this and she needs to account 1.00
00:00:20.740 for it white women must be stopped that's right what yeah we can stay horny and retarded longer 1.00
00:00:28.820 that she can stay sane what your ass ass to penis ratio maybe you could say we had sex but we didn't 1.00
00:00:35.720 fuck you said oh jesus fat dave fuck you man 1.00
00:00:41.780 welcome everybody to another live edition of liberty lockdown this is clint russell reporting live from 1.00
00:00:52.980 orlando we also have tph at tower gang toad sorry it used to be something else we have no way jose 0.97
00:01:01.560 host of no way jose jose gales we have the fattest fucking dad in the world the father dave and our 0.97
00:01:11.960 special guest you know him you love him he has his own band it's zach brown welcome in 0.99
00:01:18.740 hell yeah oh you want me to go now you yeah 0.99
00:01:23.800 be funny no yeah that's literally that you put the responsibility on the guest after that fucking 0.99
00:01:32.920 that neck that loose neck of an intro jesus christ 0.95
00:01:37.140 actually it's weird it's like that's the clearest like your picture has been clint i actually could
00:01:43.200 like count all the individual hairs on your beard kind of see there's some there's some like nose
00:01:48.980 hairs in there it's nice i like even in his usual setup we can still see the porn on his monitor and
00:01:54.480 the reflection in the window though so clint you look like you're intentionally trying to cut the 0.99
00:01:59.020 blood circulation off to the top of your head what the fuck is going on i'm trying to i'm trying to 1.00
00:02:05.500 make my brain dumber so i can enjoy life again that's true the mentally retarded are are the most uh 1.00
00:02:11.440 the most happy in this life plasma go get plasma right now clint i bet there's a i bet that there's 0.91
00:02:16.400 which in orlando oh i bet miami has a lot of plasma places it does seem like a hot spot for
00:02:22.480 and plasma uh donation centers are the hot hottest spots in miami i feel like that's true there's a lot
00:02:31.480 of mexicans yeah miami miami is the only place you go to get like a liver transplant but the liver that
00:02:36.960 they put in you is also failing yeah it's just it's just fucking worst miami is where you go to 1.00
00:02:42.980 fall in love dude i'm telling you like you'll just get women you're just like i just didn't you don't 0.98
00:02:49.400 like you're like i can't believe women get this hot like no they're fake jose they're men and 1.00
00:02:54.260 they're fake well they're cute as fuck dog the problem is they're they're very attractive but 1.00
00:03:01.000 they're the worst people on the planet yeah look yeah they're women we know if jose if jose's thing 1.00
00:03:07.480 is martha bueno i mean uh that's fine with me they they also i mean i feel like they're also just 0.92
00:03:13.520 shallow i mean it's not it's not like they're they're also they're bad people but they're also
00:03:17.840 like they're only skin deep there's i mean you're probably talking to more than five minutes yeah brown
00:03:23.060 skin deep the worst kind yeah and it's brown and it's painted on brown skin and they they do it to 1.00
00:03:31.860 themselves it's not even like from the sun they just go in there like i want to be almost black and
00:03:36.380 i'm just gonna like put on basically yeah you're going backwards you gotta you want to get tan you
00:03:41.940 want to get tan no no ma'am no ma'am you're going backwards you're in the wrong country for that
00:03:47.000 come on i heard a shane gillis joke uh i was watching today it was like have you ever been to
00:03:53.980 a small town in the u.s where uh they're still racist against certain white people it was like 0.99
00:03:58.940 those fucking irish no that was like my my grandmother hated the catholics dude we're good 1.00
00:04:06.340 protestant i'm a good protestant boy okay i'm a good protestant boy it's just so funny hated the 0.99
00:04:11.000 catholics it's like y'all haven't even made it to black people yet and like we're and he was like
00:04:15.720 we uh we in new york are like past uh arabs already like come on catch up something no it's 0.99
00:04:22.340 kind of like uh it is funny because it doesn't make sense because you're like why like that's how
00:04:26.820 i used to feel about the jew thing before i actually learned like economics and like you know other
00:04:30.880 things and i was like then i'm like oh i get it now like before it's like this is so silly i don't
00:04:35.600 get why anyone even cares about this differentiation dude the last stage of of racism always circles
00:04:42.640 back to the french it always goes back to everybody hating like if you can move past 0.99
00:04:48.180 like black people mexicans arabs jews it's always going to go back to the french they're slimy 1.00
00:04:55.060 does that what you're saying that you that include canadian secret illuminati behind the jews i think 0.73
00:05:01.480 that the french or the i think that the french embody what kanye believes the jewish spirit to be
00:05:10.160 in my opinion i i i think that dude didn't the french didn't the french like get us kind of into 0.95
00:05:18.060 the vietnam conflict like like the ho chi minh used to like fucking america because we liberated them 0.99
00:05:24.700 from the japanese during uh world war ii and then the french like drug us into it they're like we're 0.96
00:05:29.400 gonna take this back because it used to be a french like fucking colony yeah it's ours now the french are 0.99
00:05:34.800 responsible for our revolution being successful so like can we really hate them yeah yes because i 0.97
00:05:40.700 feel like we'd be better off now dude it's so fucking easy dude the french helped us uh like 0.89
00:05:45.900 eliminate uh one of the uh final uh monarchies yeah that sounds based what i i wonder if if we didn't 0.57
00:05:53.340 win the revolutionary war i feel like would we be in a better or worse place right now i mean
00:05:57.960 it's we wouldn't be canada would we there's no way we would be canada it would just be like 0.96
00:06:03.800 no i think if you lost the revolution you would be fucked because all the bravest like 0.98
00:06:09.640 patriots would be dead i think you'd have to have not yeah i think the you'd have to have not fought 0.98
00:06:16.680 yeah i think the war that really that america won that changed uh the path of history toward the the
00:06:25.480 negative is the civil war if america would have lost that and the union would have won we'd be at
00:06:29.520 a much better track economically we'd be doing great uh we'd have way more cotton wait what
00:06:34.760 zach's actually living in a in a separate timeline
00:06:39.480 no no no it's it's listen i'm about profit margin okay and if the union would have lost
00:06:48.660 i'm just saying the margins on labor would be much better you're sounding pretty french right
00:06:58.540 now bro i'm not french i'm not french at all don't you dare put that on me i'm a different type
00:07:04.120 of trash i'm either scottish or irish i don't do the the 23 and me because i'm afraid they're going
00:07:08.580 to take my dna and put it somewhere and use it against me later i'm a little nervous about that 0.92
00:07:13.520 what was the whole thing with like us being racist towards irish people i did i never understood that
00:07:18.760 one and i could they're alcoholics yeah but like they're like i guess that was i guess it was just
00:07:25.340 a bunch of i guess it might have been white women during the historical thing because they were like 1.00
00:07:29.400 the mexicans of the fucking that time like because they were i mean is it our fault is it our fault for 1.00
00:07:36.480 hating them they they drink constantly they beat their wives and they they barely speak english i mean 1.00
00:07:41.900 they're fucking worthless why should we not hate two out of three of those are good things 1.00
00:07:45.180 yeah i was gonna say are what didn't you in your intro you say you we have to stop white women 1.00
00:07:49.900 the irish have been stopping white women from doing a lot of things for quite a while now 1.00
00:07:54.280 yeah breathing i don't know exactly what it was but the irish were like the blacks of the europeans 0.99
00:08:00.980 i'm not really sure but hey but at least i feel like that's actually a good like i would i would
00:08:08.960 want to be not known as the best european i would want to be known as the worst european because 0.99
00:08:14.760 europeans are all euro fags so it would be like it'd be like getting kicked out of the gay olympics 1.00
00:08:20.180 and be like oh you were way too straight for us exactly get out and so that's how that's i 1.00
00:08:26.020 fucking hate how narrow shouldered european men are it drives me insane it it's such a it's a problem 0.99
00:08:36.020 dude i put on a year i was in uh i forget this is a couple years ago this is before covet actually 0.99
00:08:42.640 um i uh i larry bird don't fucking come on uh i won't tell the story again i was i was in men's 0.97
00:08:52.760 warehouse in new york city and i tried a euro cut shirt on dude and i i looked like it it it's insane 0.95
00:09:00.820 the dimensions of these men it's just a women's shirt right it's just a u.s women's shirt correct
00:09:05.760 yeah pretty much dude it's crazy like it'd be like a women's like uh like they're i don't know 0.99
00:09:12.080 like the same way they have it like i this other thing is that they have really small ankles and they 0.83
00:09:16.780 all like wear fucking um capris like the dudes wear capris and like it's very fucking weird over 0.96
00:09:24.320 there i remember i have uh uh cousins that that were from scotland and like they always wore capris 0.98
00:09:31.600 and they like oh i mean they're also they're really faggy like i was like even like trees are 0.99
00:09:37.040 objectively just a gay um oh it's super gay like why are you showing jump back to the pirates 0.97
00:09:42.260 i don't know it just doesn't make sense for me like i feel like it would bother me just like 0.99
00:09:48.280 touching my calf all day like it's just such a weird even just pragmatically it's retarded 0.99
00:09:53.700 you're telling me that pirates are gay well you know what actually i could justify for them 1.00
00:09:58.160 because they do work in the water and so like yes so like that would be the only time if you're 0.97
00:10:02.220 interacting because you don't want that thing to you i mean you're always in a boat you're gonna be
00:10:05.960 within like you know three inches of water and so that you know gets you out like now your pants 0.99
00:10:10.760 are always wet at the bottom right and if the boat is gonna sink or whatever but pirates are gay 0.97
00:10:14.720 because where do you think the uh term butt pirate came from okay so capris are only not gay 0.96
00:10:19.080 when nautical uh themes are introduced so yeah well and also can you really be gay on a boat like 0.74
00:10:26.080 it's kind of like with like the uh it's like being in prison like when you hear the ocean spray you
00:10:31.480 can't be gay god can't see you on the ocean that's right it's it's don't ask don't tell 0.99
00:10:36.600 yeah international waters yeah i was gonna say dude maritime law dude you can shoot a guy who's 1.00
00:10:41.500 asking for help and you can fuck a guy with that and you can get into heaven still 1.00
00:10:45.040 and you can fuck uh um what what was it the is it wasn't seals uh what were those things that 1.00
00:10:50.780 they always uh because they like they have like uh knees and they look like women's uh legs the 1.00
00:10:56.700 animals the sea animals what the fuck are you talking it's uh no no no no no no no no there's uh 0.99
00:11:03.020 there's like sea animals that the sailors used to fuck because they have like manatees manatees 0.99
00:11:09.340 that's what yeah manatees have like we're not put up much of a fight no dude that's why a manatee is 0.99
00:11:15.080 like a fat woman yes they used to fuck manatees because they have if you look them up they have 1.00
00:11:20.300 like knees and so they actually look like they have human legs and uh yeah bring it up well not that 1.00
00:11:27.520 you know what they fucked manatees because they were easy to fuck because they're slow but also 0.99
00:11:36.340 because they thought they were mermaids yes go manatee knees you have to look up manatee knees 1.00
00:11:40.940 yes there you go
00:11:44.400 no you're wrong you're wrong you're weird 1.00
00:11:50.440 so fuckable 1.00
00:11:55.000 look at those goddamn knees i fucked the manatee and i'm telling you 1.00
00:12:01.720 little dicky's gonna line up the manatee's knees 1.00
00:12:04.820 yeah that was one of those uh old school terms he's gonna wind up like pulling up some like
00:12:10.980 nudity on here and getting us nuked or something well i love it because i don't even think manatees
00:12:15.940 have knees and cole's just like google it manatee's knees 1.00
00:12:19.120 i'm looking at it now because i i it's funny too because they're like we're not gay we don't fuck 0.99
00:12:28.460 men we fuck men a team that's right all right you guys want to get in the mailbag we've been uh 0.99
00:12:34.540 yeah let's do a while it's uh fucking let's bring it up uh come on up i always want to get into a 0.99
00:12:39.220 mailbag so yeah okay so let's bring what is up little dicky our uh uh we uh sent away uh we uh 0.92
00:12:46.600 ordered him on wayfair actually so uh all right yeah joke that that that wasn't a funny joke tone 0.97
00:12:53.360 oh no it was beluga whales here i i i was gonna say beluga whales are the ones that have fuckable 0.99
00:13:00.220 knees no i'll share my screen so you can see pull that shit up i'm telling you so ridiculous that's 0.99
00:13:07.380 what i was talking about right maritime foot you know what i get it now yeah that's what i was talking 0.98
00:13:12.220 about they used to be like whoa yeah i see that yeah and is that what hole is that right there uh 0.96
00:13:19.440 it looks like it's kind of where the navel is where they fuck that i don't know it was a hole dude 1.00
00:13:23.400 when you're now under the sea and you have fucking like rickets and whatever the fuck else they had 0.99
00:13:29.940 from you know uh just dehydration all that shit yeah i mean i could mistake well they did they 0.99
00:13:35.840 definitely thought these things were mermaids yeah the manatees they probably still thought were 0.97
00:13:39.320 morbidly obese mermaids though all right guys i'm really bored with the manatee humor let's get
00:13:44.080 all right so let's crack open the mailbag from spud we got submissions for what and i'm not quite
00:13:53.980 sure what that is maybe it's an mma thing or or she's talking about submissive women maybe i don't 1.00
00:14:00.800 know she just said submissions for what that's it that's all yeah that's literally all it says
00:14:05.540 all right moving on she started not understanding what was going on there
00:14:08.400 yeah that's why we love you but you are a woman it's like we put out the patreon post and she goes 1.00
00:14:14.840 submissions for what like it's a back and forth conversation i understand what she asked of her
00:14:19.380 but she she submitted to the mailbag last week too i don't know all right liminal vibration 1.00
00:14:24.340 says new weekly segment pull up toad's search history that's that's been discussed and um i i thought of
00:14:34.400 a good was just youtube history from all of us because i watch weird things on youtube and i
00:14:38.940 didn't know if anybody else does and i feel like people do i feel like zach has a really weird youtube
00:14:43.200 history or or just much tech work for me to be able to give you my my fucking youtube history and i 0.95
00:14:49.620 don't know you literally would just i can literally do it with three clicks right now i just watched shoe
00:14:55.460 on head religiously that's it well what's good is that uh anything that i looked up i can just use the
00:15:00.720 show as an excuse like yeah that's why i was looking up tranny porn that's why i was looking
00:15:04.760 up thai shemales i just for the show man i just look up woodworking projects and i'm like why can't
00:15:10.980 i be more of a man this is what my dad wanted me to do all right what we got next you know bad boy top
00:15:18.140 what's up what's going on guys is your house flooded top they're just the first floor
00:15:24.500 yeah so top half the floors and you're doing i love i love this threw down the rag and he said 0.99
00:15:32.620 it's a fuck it i got a podcast to do you deal with it bitch let's just say that top is controlling 1.00
00:15:38.300 his hole tonight not a funny joke toad wow is that where we're at right now the fucking 1.00
00:15:46.740 dicky the mailbag boy is just is shitting on you toad and you're okay with that yes that's fine wow 1.00
00:15:53.500 so you gotta fire back dude do you have to assert dominance 1.00
00:15:56.620 well totally have your back as you chastise him go ahead so do something fuck 1.00
00:16:03.520 he can't get dominance over his own body weight 1.00
00:16:07.380 all right what we got next no black boy all right 1.00
00:16:11.920 that's your boss novum novum asks what's y'all's most irrational fear i was afraid of the live action
00:16:22.560 grinch for like 10 years oh i remember so if it's just throughout your whole life
00:16:29.500 i was very very afraid one of climate change as a small child 0.99
00:16:34.240 i used to watch dude we love the earth coal fuck them 0.99
00:16:42.180 i love like shit no i i would watch um uh what's the the day after tomorrow and legitimately be like 1.00
00:16:52.560 freaked out like this is about to happen and we're about to get fucked and the other one i was really 0.99
00:16:58.040 scared of was any type of uh i was really scared of uh there was i watched the buzz lightyear show i 0.94
00:17:07.480 don't know if anybody watched the buzz lightyear star command show great show when i was young and
00:17:11.460 there's one episode where like they turn into slime legitimately scared the piss out of me for years 0.51
00:17:17.420 uh and also spiders growing up was really big i used to your pants legitimately no no and but i like
00:17:25.000 what's the spiders one i was very afraid of spiders because of spider-man the movie the first one and
00:17:31.600 uh from then on i saw that's what your takeaway was well yes i got very afraid of spiders and then
00:17:37.620 which is really weird because the guy got superpowers i should have been like hell yeah spiders are
00:17:41.380 it was like a mild nuisance in the narrative of the movie and that was what you focused in on as a child
00:17:46.360 and uh from then on i i saw a spider on the toilet seat and for my parents said for about two months i
00:17:54.840 pissed in the uh the trash can oh my god i knew he was retarded before he gave away all that 0.98
00:18:03.700 i was i was like a six-year-old like pissing they were just like walk in and they would find piss in 0.73
00:18:11.300 the trash can because i was too afraid is that retarded or is that just chad or is it just hard 0.98
00:18:16.000 to tell the difference there's a line there's a very thin line yeah that one time i i shit in my 0.99
00:18:22.860 uncle's it was my i was at my aunt and uncle's i shit in the toilet i flushed the shit wouldn't go 0.99
00:18:27.720 down i grabbed the shit with my hand and put it in the garbage can and this is what like this is 0.99
00:18:33.700 when my alcoholic uncle was playing silent hill on the computer washed my hands walked out like 0.99
00:18:39.140 nothing happened he goes in he sees just and i didn't even cover it up i just plopped my shit 0.96
00:18:43.420 right on top right on top of everything and i literally when he came in and my younger cousin 1.00
00:18:49.180 was sitting next to me and he goes who's shit in the garbage can i was like you shit in the garbage 0.99
00:18:55.200 he was so he took him out of the room i'm like that's not my business that's not my business 0.99
00:19:02.500 and then i and then i proceeded to play he paused his silent hill game for that purpose and then when
00:19:10.680 he took my little cousin out of the room doing god knows what to him i started playing his silent 0.96
00:19:14.280 hill game and fucked it up for him so he's shit all over the control i was i was also scared i remember 0.96
00:19:20.160 being very scared of uh like armageddon like like actually like the rapture happening and me being left 0.96
00:19:25.900 behind i couldn't watch the left behind movies as a kid and i'm well we know you didn't read the book
00:19:30.740 well i no i didn't um and then i also there was a preacher like came in and he was giving talking
00:19:36.800 about this is all like bible talk so sorry jose uh no i actually grew up in the church i actually
00:19:41.740 legit had that same thing for a while where i was very scared what happened right now i'm driving on
00:19:45.740 the road if my mom i'm assuming she's going uh i don't know i'm a little unsure myself like i think
00:19:50.860 i'm fucked i remember there was a uh there was a like a a pastor or whatever he came through and he 0.95
00:19:56.800 like spoke on revelations and he like he was like oh the bible says you can't there's nothing wrong 0.95
00:20:02.940 like you don't know jesus's second coming it's like you can predict the rapture and so he's like
00:20:08.380 i predict the rapture will happen tonight and like that night i stayed at my grandparents house and i
00:20:12.680 get so fucking scared i went to their bedroom open the door and flipped on the lights to make sure 0.97
00:20:17.740 they're still there you piss in their garbage yeah no i just i just and i always thought it was funny 0.98
00:20:23.580 like looking back on it it's also like all my grandparents know is like i came in turned on the 0.95
00:20:28.060 light saw their turn off the light and went back to bed like it's like dude biblical biblical fear
00:20:34.920 is truly intense i remember watching the passion of the christ with my dad and he would like grab
00:20:41.340 me on the shoulder like hard he's like he did this for you and i'm like oh and then i'd be like i'd go 0.94
00:20:48.340 to bed and i'm like i'm sorry i fucked my couch cushions nothing came out i promise it felt good but 0.99
00:20:52.900 nothing came out i don't know i'd rock it was yeah biblical fear is truly the epitome of pushing 0.98
00:20:59.900 people to the the end of the line when it comes to fear because you're like there's nothing worldly
00:21:07.020 that can save you i think i think biblical fear is why i don't fear anything anymore because my mom
00:21:13.460 like really instilled the fear of god in me all the same shit i didn't go to bible school and all that but 0.53
00:21:18.300 i was terrified of all this stuff i was like goody two-shoes growing up and then when i realized 0.96
00:21:23.120 this might not be true i just started living life like i don't give a fuck i think you could i think 0.99
00:21:29.320 there's probably things you'll fear in the if you sick a samurai sword up your pee hole that's fear 0.98
00:21:34.480 that's something to fear i've done it worldly there's that's that's extreme sounding that's well
00:21:40.340 listen i guess i can't put a label on anybody's preference you know what i have an irrational fear
00:21:46.260 about i have an irrational fear about like a crazy leak happening in my house about 30 minutes before
00:21:51.140 i have to do the most important podcast in the world that's what my fears are nowadays do you think
00:21:56.920 that jesus came like like ropes did jesus come dude like ropes he had to have the yeah of course he did 0.93
00:22:09.080 of all time correct he had to have like it's i mean it's god's penis i think it's like slightly below 0.93
00:22:15.860 average wow yeah true represent the people dude we're made in her we're made in his image dude 0.99
00:22:20.980 come on come on big dick shit come on dude that's how we know that the black hebrew results are wrong 1.00
00:22:28.580 it's because they have huge dicks and they're like no no no no you're made in god's image this is the 1.00
00:22:34.060 devil none of that savage shit and wouldn't jesus have been circumcised since he was the first jew 1.00
00:22:39.340 or like not the first jew but he was like a jew yeah he was circumcised no he wasn't yeah he was 0.99
00:22:45.260 really yes i mean i guess they i don't think they ever specifically said he was or wasn't well i 0.99
00:22:51.720 tell you what in the book i never read i'm pretty sure i have read that shit i was in church fucking 0.97
00:22:58.260 i grew up in the church but like i don't remember specifically i went to uh fucking christian school 0.99
00:23:03.060 look at that mailbag boy i don't remember a specific uh i don't remember a specific verse 0.92
00:23:06.720 about i believe that they do i think they mentioned about he's jewish taking him to the temple to get
00:23:11.840 circumcised in the say in the the correct because they had a wake like they they would always wait
00:23:16.720 like a couple weeks or whatever how long it was let me just say i'm very uncomfortable with the tone
00:23:21.160 that like toe just took with little dicky the mailbag boy it was like it wasn't as dominant as it
00:23:27.100 should be but little dicky's very like out of pocket with toe this is it it makes me feel
00:23:31.120 uncomfortable hey little dicky uh is the mailbag guy so he he literally works in the mail room 0.98
00:23:37.440 little dicky we can't read that shit and he also lives in his parents basement i'm on my phone that 0.99
00:23:43.080 doesn't yeah you gotta zoom in luke 2 21 records the fact that jesus was circumcised there you go on 0.99
00:23:47.980 eighth day like i said i never really cared this much why are we still doing this dude do you think
00:23:52.280 what's the name of the the chick that has gloop uh oh do you think that gwyneth paltrow would pay like 1.00
00:23:58.640 a billion dollars to get jesus's foreskin to put it on her face oh yeah there was um there is a so
00:24:05.140 the book of the bible well it was uh if you go that's called the bible no no no uh it's one of
00:24:11.760 the like not apocrypha but there's like other books that didn't make it into the bible that they
00:24:17.240 like what if there's other ones like the book of judas the book of um tell me there's a book
00:24:26.660 dedicated to jesus's foreskin there is listen listen guys okay but i was gonna say what if jesus's
00:24:38.320 foreskin was uh like the precursor to all of his hearing all of his healing like what if the the
00:24:44.300 sperm cells in his foreskin was actually doing all that like a like a compression sock you would see
00:24:49.480 those old guys walking around like i had a stroke i gotta keep the i gotta get the way you know these
00:24:55.000 varicose veins are killing me what if jesus was just like a dude that figured out stem cells before
00:25:02.560 anybody else and so he was just that's right jesus jesus was a walking copper tone sleeve 0.99
00:25:08.120 just fucking dude brett farve was by his right side he's like who the fuck are you and he's like 0.98
00:25:14.040 don't worry about it i'll come back in about 2 000 years you'll be oppressed dude no but yeah i'll 1.00
00:25:18.120 have about 25 years in the nfl slinging it in the pocket fuck off dude just fucking do your thing 0.99
00:25:24.240 clint there is though uh there is a another book not it's not in the bible but it's like an outside book 0.99
00:25:29.980 that people kind of discuss that does talk about where jesus's foreskin went and there yeah and
00:25:36.300 like apparently like heaven it went into a rabbi's mouth that's what they do 1.00
00:25:41.860 that's true that's the antichrist hey stop cutting them off well what happened to his fucking dick i 1.00
00:25:50.080 can't remember exactly what happened but i believe like there was some rumors that like it did get into 1.00
00:25:54.760 like the catholic church has his foreskin somewhere um and just kind of keeps it because like which is
00:26:01.000 how could they have even known like oh did he get it done when he was like already you know a saint
00:26:10.740 or whatever no he was eight days old from the beginning yeah yeah wait he was jesus christ from
00:26:16.700 the beginning they knew that's why they bought him all those gifts yeah you know the story you 0.99
00:26:21.060 fucking oh yeah the fucking yeah the murder and all that he was the immaculate conception he was 0.99
00:26:24.900 the child of god and we know this yeah i don't i know i don't obviously clint needs to go to church 0.99
00:26:30.360 one time i just want to see him in church like really this is what y'all talk about that's pretty
00:26:35.160 i literally i literally forgot that like jesus was also baby jesus looks like uh have you ever seen
00:26:42.200 uh avatar the last airbender like the show or the movie you know how like they like they can tell the
00:26:46.460 new avatar by signs that's basically how it works with uh jesus i just wrote i was just uh i was just
00:26:52.440 tele telekinesis synced with the fucking navi and got to got to ride on one of those creatures 0.79
00:26:57.300 i'm wrong avatar yeah he's talking about the last airbender clear by like what the fuck is jose 0.98
00:27:04.000 talking about jose is always talking about he needs to go to church and watch some anime it'll be
00:27:10.420 it'll just change his life technically it's not animated since it's american animation but you know
00:27:15.220 okay i do want to hear what other my irrational my irrational fear is having fingernails
00:27:23.380 what oh actually me too i'm not yeah low-key like like slightly long fingernails that people will
00:27:29.420 notice is that what you're talking about no like if i have fingernails i have to like rip them off
00:27:33.520 or bite them off because if they get slightly long at all it's this sensation where it's like
00:27:37.440 it feels to me like i'm permanently just scratching chalkboards all over the place and
00:27:42.180 it makes me want to vomit i think that's a guitar thing like because because you're a guitar player
00:27:46.300 sort of well you play the gig i play the retard guitar yeah the retard why do you do that by the 0.99
00:27:53.960 way like if you have the capacity to play a cool guitar why would you play some shit that doesn't 0.97
00:27:58.160 get you laid yes it's cool fundamentals are very similar easy crossover imagine if zach just played 0.99
00:28:07.780 whatever gay ass thing you play the ukulele toad i mean he would be way less cool than like he is 1.00
00:28:13.900 right now because like i mean look what he has back there i mean that's that's bullshit dude well 0.99
00:28:18.760 those are i don't know how to play 0.97
00:28:20.000 your name is literally you're still cool because you have them behind you if you had a ukulele behind
00:28:26.520 you you'd still be less cool someone with a car behind them is cooler than someone playing the
00:28:31.120 ukulele even if they're crushing it still if i if i could if i played an instrument i just walk
00:28:37.860 around in public and play the seinfeld riff on a stand-up bass that's all i'd do they'd be like
00:28:45.120 no play something i'd be like i can play one thing the thing that does actually get like play if you
00:28:51.020 can play piano like really well like you just know it and just if you're out in public and you see a
00:28:55.820 piano you just start fucking just playing it people will crowd around you it's actually pretty crazy 0.91
00:28:59.880 like that's true people love watching like hearing someone play piano in public yeah i actually was told 0.98
00:29:06.420 i was uh it was my chiropractor for some reason was like hey learn to play piano because girls will 0.99
00:29:11.560 love you if you play piano and i was like i'd like to think so we're older chiropractor
00:29:16.340 tell us yeah look at i'm legend man you could have got a pedophile wife and then on epstein's 1.00
00:29:22.680 island i feel like piano would pull you some cougar pussy dude i would love to get fingered by a 1.00
00:29:27.500 pianist you want to get fingered by a guitar player better believe me no i feel like that 1.00
00:29:33.540 well it depends on the hand but definitely more dexterous i want to get a blowjob i'm a flautist 0.99
00:29:41.100 actually all right i want to get fisted i want to get fisted by a minor 0.99
00:29:46.440 i'm not talking about like a six-year-old no no no no no no i'm talking about a person who goes into
00:29:54.000 the mines and is i want i want their little tiny baby hands so no 29 minutes and 45 seconds we just 0.98
00:30:03.800 got to see clint's feet so if anybody wants to just take i thought you were going to say we're going to
00:30:08.160 zach saying he wants to be fisted by a minor i was like i was like my feet are more noteworthy
00:30:12.640 than zach said he wants to get fisted by kids no i am m i n e r
00:30:18.920 but a minor from the early 1800s so yes it's still a kid but they're you know they're a working kid
00:30:26.860 a minor people that take what they want a minor that's mining lithium batteries for electric cars 0.95
00:30:32.720 and you know it doesn't have to be the 1800s it could be a fucking kid in Kenya today yeah it could 0.99
00:30:37.880 just be a fucking a middle african child who's working hard for tesla or some blood diamonds some 0.99
00:30:45.000 good nice blood diamonds uh well diamonds are a bit pretentious but sure my rational fear is aside 0.99
00:30:51.720 from the fear of damnation that we already talked about a little bit earlier i don't really have any more
00:30:55.920 but you know when i was religious i did but uh i always as a kid is like even to this day sometimes
00:31:02.120 i'll like make sure to look down i was i don't know what movie i watched with my dad but there's
00:31:06.260 like a movie where like a snake or some sort of like weird thing came up through the toilet
00:31:09.720 and bit them and like for me as a kid that was always the most terrifying thing is someone like 0.98
00:31:13.420 jump up and bite my balls while i'm taking a shit or something you know like 0.99
00:31:16.780 i think it's a pretty famous movie i've heard people reference before i just can't remember isn't it 0.99
00:31:21.380 snakes on a plane no jose it's not jose dude i was like that came out i was like it's senior
00:31:27.880 oh okay i was gonna say because i feel like snakes on a plane that had to be like a thing where
00:31:33.560 there's a there's a there's a scene where a snake bites a chick's nipple in that movie 0.99
00:31:37.520 that's japanese porn
00:31:40.860 um i'm a little i have a little bit of anxiety about driving with people because i had a good
00:31:52.980 friend die uh so i don't know if that's irrational but it's still irrational because like while you
00:31:56.880 were driving only just because someone's in the car with me versus not um also i i used to be afraid
00:32:03.620 of the dark when i was little um that's pretty irrational and then also i i realized i was different
00:32:09.640 when i was like 10 years old and i started to have these these thought experiments before i went
00:32:13.880 to bed and i would uh you could see dead people no i i would think about what it would be like
00:32:19.580 you know i would think about the the size of the universe and how infinitesimally small i was
00:32:24.660 and then i would think about how that that thought process made me feel as a person and then i would
00:32:29.980 realize that at the end of it ultimately i wouldn't exist in which case this thought that i was having
00:32:36.360 um i couldn't like it wouldn't have even mattered and it wouldn't have even existed and then i
00:32:41.460 realized like so is my thought process like is there any relevancy to my existence and i had these
00:32:46.320 thoughts at 10 years old and i was like oh i'm different because then i talked to my friends and
00:32:49.380 they're like they're like i'm afraid of sharks and i was like oh i'm afraid of my existential you know
00:32:55.160 you have existential crisis at 10 years old he's just in your in your bed it's like we all i mean
00:33:02.520 we all know what clint's real fear is it's commitment i mean
00:33:07.960 i am so committed to tower gang how dare you
00:33:12.280 only the boys clint's real fear is actually fixing a girl and then having to stay with her 0.99
00:33:18.040 no no no no that's not true my my fear is that i'll never successfully fix a dick 1.00
00:33:23.680 and that's also goes into your existential crisis of like i mean it's just a huge world of pussy and 1.00
00:33:31.520 your dick is so i mean just so small i mean when you when you consider like the aggregate of all of 1.00
00:33:40.220 the vaginas i've ever been with we're talking a void that is it's verging on the universe at this 1.00
00:33:45.640 point and that dick is meaning that is concern a hot dog down an infinitesimal 0.99
00:33:49.980 i feel like every time clint gets into a long relationship just one time happens they're just 0.99
00:33:54.520 bitching in his head he has this deep thought out like i only have this many years left to live and 0.99
00:33:59.520 i have to sit here and listen to this annoying bitch you know what what am i even doing here 1.00
00:34:03.080 and it just walks up and leaves and doesn't say a word to him and never talks to him again 0.99
00:34:06.120 i would i would i would do almost the same thought experiment when i was younger but it was more
00:34:11.580 with like uh infinity like infinite time yeah so i would think like oh like a thousand and then
00:34:19.380 like it keeps going like there's no end and to me that was like always like yeah no time was time
00:34:25.340 was also tied into the thought experiment because i was thinking thinking about the size of the
00:34:29.200 universe and then i was thinking about the the fact that the universe is expanding and that's like 0.80
00:34:33.140 why we can't see past the yeah the border yeah fake that's all fake and gay bro stop looking at 0.99
00:34:39.000 yeah sure dude horns down fuck fuck university of texas come on now no you know i will say this 1.00
00:34:45.300 though after seeing you know the the condescension of a man with such a low low like obviously low 1.00
00:34:52.360 intelligence like neil degrasse tyson i i'm starting to think that like all the bible thumpers 1.00
00:34:57.780 are right and like it's just way more simple i was starting to think it's like god just made shit 0.72
00:35:02.720 that like whatever neil degrasse tyson is i'm just totally second guessing all of it he is an 1.00
00:35:07.540 asshole too like his every time he's on joe rogan experience it's like shut the fuck up 1.00
00:35:11.980 like oh dude someone else did you did you hear what he said about joe he was like he was like 1.00
00:35:17.420 he's the type of guy who's smart enough to like have an idea but not smart enough to realize why 0.99
00:35:21.780 it's a bad one or something like that i was like dude fuck you yeah his idea was to have you on the 0.99
00:35:27.340 show and it was a bad one so i guess he's correct yeah he nailed that that's right god i want to fist 1.00
00:35:32.980 fight him oh yeah i hate him i can't stand every time and not because he's black but i hate him 0.99
00:35:37.740 i mean that's just a bonus no no that's just why he has a low iq 0.99
00:35:42.320 all right all right uh what we got next uh little dicky he's so mean all right so phil says i've 0.94
00:35:51.980 now gone don't ever do that again without beating off to porn first time ever going this long you're 0.96
00:35:57.340 all cucks now except for top wait how long i feel like two two months two months who said that 1.00
00:36:04.680 phil phil you're gay you're gay phil i don't think i've ever gone two months not gonna lie 0.99
00:36:11.620 yeah yeah it's weird thanks for not not including me in this but i think you're gay still 1.00
00:36:16.440 i'm pretty sure if you mean without porn i have gone longer than two months without porn but i 0.94
00:36:21.420 haven't gone because you were you existed before porn was around no no it just was a different 0.93
00:36:29.280 format at that point okay let me say i have jerked off without porn past the existence of porn 0.93
00:36:37.160 for you know longer than two months yes uh i'm in the same boat as clint i i believe that i yeah i've 0.97
00:36:43.960 gone two months without looking at porn for sure but not without masturbating oh that's true 0.98
00:36:49.820 that is the thing it does it feels my mind yeah you're an artist and you can't beat off without 0.99
00:36:56.480 some sort of visual stimulation or physical i can picture i can't i can picture an apple in full
00:37:02.260 detail like three-dimensional and the shading and the lighting but i can't picture a naked woman 0.97
00:37:06.280 like pure autism because it's like i can feel pure chadley because he's like i don't want to think of 0.98
00:37:13.820 women never they're gross they bleed dude i i fucking i can do anything pretty much dude i get 1.00
00:37:23.460 i get i've never i've never so do you guys ever get comfort boners yes yeah yes so where you literally 1.00
00:37:29.980 lay in bed and you're so comfortable that blood rushes to your penis yeah why why is that i don't 0.96
00:37:36.100 know i have no idea but i'll literally like i'll spread my my like body across the bed and i just become 1.00
00:37:43.200 fully erect yeah especially if you're trying to fuck the mattress that's part of the boners it is 0.98
00:37:50.640 because like when your body gets fully relaxed i think there are muscles that do sort of you know 0.98
00:37:54.840 are weak muscles that keep it together and then like when you sleep it completely relaxes and just
00:37:58.500 kind of blood just kind of flows in it's true you know when you die it's all it's all i wonder if you
00:38:03.880 can ever come so hard that your taint cramps you know because you flex that muscle
00:38:08.520 when you come yeah i mean i did that i swear it's happened a couple times i don't know if it's 0.95
00:38:14.600 an old man thing but a couple times i was fucking i'll be like like where am i'm like oh god oh 0.98
00:38:18.660 oh no no no i'm i'm talking full-on taint cramp there's no stretches to do no you had a taint 0.99
00:38:25.960 cramp like it's like like it's the worst feeling like right in your taint like a little
00:38:31.400 but you have to do math for it to happen that's true yeah yeah yeah i have to yeah to shoot ropes
00:38:37.080 by the way i did see um uh thompson girl was on theo von's podcast and he said when he shoots he
00:38:43.560 shoots ropes and he was like i could shoot the length of this table and it was like a long table
00:38:49.920 and to me i was like because i think we've talked about yeah thompson girl yeah he said he said like a 0.97
00:38:55.700 shooter right he said he was like i can see that with theo he was like i shoot fucking ropes he was 0.99
00:39:03.300 like if i if i'm a couple days backed up he was like i will come the length of this table how long 0.96
00:39:09.040 of a table are we talking 10 feet it was a long table like it was like a feet it was six to eight
00:39:14.540 feet dude i yeah dude i can understand like if especially it's been a couple days especially if
00:39:19.040 you work up to it you're kind of like i think i could do that your tabs you're you're kind of just
00:39:22.680 slow in it like yeah dude i could work up i think i could probably well we know jose has hit himself
00:39:29.700 in the face with it before i think yeah that's like two feet i have a little bit of an angle to
00:39:36.700 mine so mine has gone over my shoulder before no it hasn't yeah i've hit my neck i've hit my neck a
00:39:43.000 bunch of times it's fascinating because like when i that's the most demeaning feeling yeah because when
00:39:48.780 i'm by myself it's like it's like a failed suicide but i just can't i can't fire it hard enough 0.98
00:39:52.920 oh it's so disappointing because myself because like when i jerk off by myself like the cum just 0.99
00:39:58.640 like it'll be like loop and then when i fucking when i'm with somebody then i can just like almost 0.99
00:40:03.460 blow my head off it's it's i don't know it's interesting there's a psychology yeah the worst 0.99
00:40:09.460 cum is the uh like you get to the point of orgasm and you hold it in and then you have to work 0.99
00:40:16.640 back up and then it's like it hurts it hurts it's like
00:40:19.620 i mean it's just i mean it's just because it's like no that's when i launched the hardest
00:40:24.420 yeah you know i'm talking about where you actually there's a timing there's like a
00:40:28.340 you're saying like if you push it too far and then you do that move where you like almost come all 0.98
00:40:32.240 you did was fuck up your orgasm like i don't know if you do it right before and then you work 0.99
00:40:37.380 back up to it that's how you just end your dick still does a thing where like you're like 1.00
00:40:40.640 you know you know what the best but nothing comes out because you like that's in that's so 0.99
00:40:45.360 it's like it just kind of like liberty lockdown guest would be clint's dick where you could sit 0.99
00:40:51.480 your dick down and ask it all the questions that we ask here because who really knows what's going on 0.99
00:40:57.140 clint's dick has seen the universe man it would be it would be interesting because it would definitely 0.99
00:41:01.420 have a better recollection of my sexual partners than i do because like most of its day is spent in 0.99
00:41:07.020 darkness and it's like so he remembers when it's out and like doing i thought you meant because of
00:41:11.240 all the uh disease that it carries now from it's no it's it's spent in emotional darkness luckily
00:41:16.760 luckily clint has placed his phone on a point of view where we get to see where all of his sexual 0.99
00:41:22.280 partners got to see right before they blacked out clint's dick is like those uh is like those like 1.00
00:41:29.780 striations like geographic layers my dick please respond it reminds me of like tummy time on fucking 1.00
00:41:39.040 legion of skanks with uh with a big day it's it's adorable i love it yeah you know when you dig down 0.99
00:41:44.920 like into the earth though you have like the striations like the layers the geographic layers 0.99
00:41:49.520 like that's clint's dick and you can like tell dude you can carbon date my cock yeah which era like the 0.99
00:41:54.960 rings on a tree um how's my audio by the way it's not that's not the problem it's the fact that you 1.00
00:42:05.480 keep bringing your inner knee into the camera shot yeah that's cute the feet oh god it's the man
00:42:13.440 if he shaved those things i could be fooled oh dude i have i have really i've had women actually say 1.00
00:42:21.280 like you have sexy legs and i'm like yeah no homo for a dude that is like the ideal like dude leg 0.98
00:42:26.800 thanks man harry harry harry is the problem harry large you're not like overly bulky that's a good 0.73
00:42:34.120 solid man leg you can't thank you i do want to ask you this uh so on the panel last week uh i mentioned 0.99
00:42:40.400 i don't shave my armpits and all of these fucking faggots do we trim we don't shave yeah you guys trim 1.00
00:42:48.120 your fucking armpits thank you thank you he's the ginger he's come on doesn't count no i've never 1.00
00:42:56.640 ever even gotten close to putting any sort of cutting apparatus i just i i literally i i can't 1.00
00:43:07.800 trim my fucking i can't shave my armpits there's so many skin tags 0.99
00:43:11.560 i've had a couple of skin tags i i took one off once dude and because skin tags they have blood 0.99
00:43:25.740 vessels and like nerves to them dude the pain it's it's what women giving birth please dude 1.00
00:43:33.400 give birth to a baby that isn't yours out of your asshole and then maybe you'll feel both the 1.00
00:43:40.260 emotional feeling and the physical feeling that i felt when i fucking took off a skin tag dude it's 1.00
00:43:45.620 wild it's wild it made me want to like i honestly when i shaved that i did feel like i was entitled 0.95
00:43:51.880 to more things from the government i turned a little bit socialist i got a little bit like i just was
00:43:56.560 like yeah maybe maybe bernie's the right way you got so many skin tags man what's going on i don't
00:44:02.880 know i think it's bad iris skin probably yeah uh yeah it's bad genetics yeah yeah all right uh 0.96
00:44:09.860 do we got any more uh questions with his fucking knee though man he's like a beluga over there like 1.00
00:44:14.200 i'm getting turned on okay all right you want to fuck my knee one more hold up hold up i want 1.00
00:44:19.480 everybody i just want everybody to understand how deep of a nose inhale toad took after that joke 0.99
00:44:25.100 after he realized it wasn't gonna hit
00:44:27.000 you can actually tell you can actually tell though how funny joke uh how funny toads not
00:44:44.580 funny jokes he thinks they're gonna be based off of his inhale afterwards because he'll he'll wait
00:44:49.400 he'll deliver the line and then he'll be up and then there's like dead silence and you're like
00:44:55.360 and all we can hear is him inhaling it's fucking brutal i love it oh yeah it's my it's actually 0.84
00:45:01.000 probably my favorite noise because that's like when my dad would give me a lesson he would exhale 0.92
00:45:05.220 through the nose he'd be like you know you gotta stay away from those things
00:45:07.540 chin right back into his adam's apple and just breathe heavily that's what we're watching
00:45:17.080 passion the crisis like he did this for you and then he'd move over to his like 99 dell laptop 0.98
00:45:23.440 and go come over here and make me watch fucking cartel beheading videos and say this is what drugs 0.97
00:45:27.260 do and this is is there a reason that you have a beard but no mustache um no it's just blonde it's 1.00
00:45:33.580 okay you dude you're a little bit darker i'd have a slur for you waiting 0.99
00:45:40.680 i was gonna ask if you're converting to islam or something like that i just don't get that 0.98
00:45:48.120 dude you actually the white red-headed muslims yeah or the wildest folk yeah they're sand gingers 1.00
00:45:57.020 dude they're they're they're the people do you ever guys you guys read the story of sammy osmokak the 0.58
00:46:03.600 the kid in florida who uh was tricked by the fbi and he he would he got arrested for for attempting
00:46:11.800 a terrorist attack but it came out in court that the fbi was coaxing him and he was mentally retarded 0.91
00:46:19.240 you're talking about everybody yeah every every time there's been a guy yeah dude well he was like 0.73
00:46:25.480 an albanian immigrant um that went through wartime he was retarded and red hair and slightly over just 0.92
00:46:35.160 slightly overweight you know just just slightly right there not action bronson to where it like
00:46:40.840 the fat becomes cool it's just slightly overweight and the fbi tapped him and said hey you're pissed 0.99
00:46:47.460 aren't you and he's like fucking yeah yeah i am pissed and they fucking they got him it's you 0.99
00:46:53.260 could actually back when the intercept was good they wrote a an amazing expose about it um it's 0.99
00:46:58.860 fucking wild dude it's it's the most clear-cut example of the fbi creating a terrorist it's crazy 0.97
00:47:05.100 dude it's nuts and i also like it because he's representing the the retarded in the media and 0.99
00:47:10.800 that's good too you know how you know how toad always thinks that he's getting um some like milf that 0.99
00:47:16.180 wants to fuck him and i i would be i'd be really surprised if toad doesn't end up in jail on 0.98
00:47:22.260 terrorism charges from some like catfish milf that's not real like oh that but i bet the fbi 0.99
00:47:29.000 has a ton of milf pictures just for toad and just like oh yeah oh yeah these milfs are sending me
00:47:33.900 all their titties and it's just some like dude why'd you put a v on that cole like he's like elves and 0.62
00:47:39.740 elves he's like milfs he's he's not all he's not all there i'm not all right what do we got 0.87
00:47:47.760 let's finish the mailbag what we got next all right uh the last one benzo asks would you rather
00:47:54.780 skinny black girl from the alex stein slash portnoy video or some random modern single cat lady 0.95
00:48:01.340 which girl was that uh i'd probably still take the black check though the only black person i remember 0.98
00:48:07.500 is the uh is the black dude she smacks him at the end yeah these cat people have been like flooding 0.89
00:48:13.200 my mentions for um well let's oh that's true you did have a couple i mean little dicky's on it man
00:48:18.660 hey don't don't watch the whole thing fast forward to the end right there her that's not a skinny 1.00
00:48:23.580 black that's not that's skinny for jose that ain't her that ain't her i'd hit you know fast forward to 0.95
00:48:29.460 her over crazy cat lady it's that girl to the right 1.00
00:48:34.900 i can't really see her i mean you can definitely hear her
00:48:45.800 dude yeah dude that's gonna be a good light just based on that
00:48:50.180 i mean that's not a relationship material at all i mean is the current is the crazy cat lady not
00:49:05.960 black no yes oh well then i'm gonna go i'm gonna go with that then pull up the girl arguing with 1.00
00:49:12.380 today the feminist the oh yeah i wish she would have came on yeah she almost that would be the that 1.00
00:49:19.160 would be the best comparison so i feel like one one deep deep orgasm and i'd have her fucking 1.00
00:49:25.520 way out of this feminist bullshit i don't she's actually unironically funny i was yeah she was 1.00
00:49:33.040 arguing with some of the guys because it's a dude you think it's a guy he's catfish gotta be right 0.99
00:49:38.600 yeah it was too cute like she like the she was too cute to be like it's like this hardcore about 0.94
00:49:43.660 the feminism thing like no all right but if it was me i mean i hate cats 1.00
00:49:51.940 and i also hate black people yeah so 0.99
00:49:59.100 i i i feel like i'm oh god yeah this chick is fake she's a catfish 1.00
00:50:06.100 see if it was between a black woman and that cat lady i'd have to go with that cat lady probably 1.00
00:50:12.840 yeah if if that is what she actually looks like yeah i'll go with her but otherwise the typical 0.96
00:50:18.920 crazy cat lady hell no all right you guys want me to tell you about my you guys want me to tell you
00:50:23.460 about my inheritance story yeah oh yeah yeah yeah all right do it all right i found out today
00:50:28.620 okay well i gotta explain to the audience because i know we all know because we have a group can i borrow
00:50:32.640 but how am i checking in my savings work is like i'm all in my hands no essentially my wife went to 0.52
00:50:38.640 go renew her fucking uh license online and then she got some notification or whatever on there and 1.00
00:50:43.120 it's like hey we need to contact you for uh to fucking um to uh like claim property and you know 0.98
00:50:51.220 like that i guess the state had for whatever reason we didn't know why and then she looked into it 0.97
00:50:55.460 and then come to find out like there was a uh bank account in her and her dad's uh fucking uh 0.86
00:51:01.780 you know name and it said next to his name deceased so that he had just died so this is her dad
00:51:07.200 like it's her dad just recently like died we don't even know when we haven't been contacted by anyone
00:51:12.180 because she like basically my wife and her dad haven't talked since she was like in high school
00:51:16.780 like he basically just like sort of abandoned her and he's like a multi-millionaire
00:51:20.860 so like it apparently she had he had a school fund for her at one point and so like we assumed like it
00:51:26.820 was that and it has a little bit in it and but like we didn't know for almost a week i found out
00:51:30.800 today how much it was how much was in the account because she wasn't able to find out until she like
00:51:34.620 got some forms and stuff we found out today i mean it makes it a little bit less funny because it's a
00:51:39.820 funny premise of like i guess you guys can guess i wanted to guess yeah but now we know now we know
00:51:45.020 it's not that much it's also gonna fuck up because it's like it's so weird because like when especially 0.70
00:51:49.920 when i didn't know it was like there was part of me it was like like super excited like my wife's dad
00:51:54.300 died also like okay i gotta be i gotta be sympathetic for my wife but it's like i gotta
00:52:00.520 feel both these feelings at the same time like hey that's really sorry
00:52:03.400 jose actually murdered his wife's father but it's like it's also the psychology of like what's in
00:52:12.000 that bank account like we didn't know how much it's like did he like on his deathbed be like i
00:52:16.400 regret like my relationship my daughter i'll leave her something behind because he has money he's a
00:52:20.660 multi-millionaire and like uh i don't know if you guys want to keep going with it but i can just
00:52:25.560 tell you how much it is because this is a pretty wait you know that he's a multi-millionaire yeah
00:52:29.580 how how is he a millionaire uh i don't fucking know the specifics i don't know i'm just going 0.97
00:52:35.000 off what some woman told me and my wife he's a jew actually actually so wait he's black because he 0.97
00:52:40.200 abandoned his child and he's a jew because he has so much money so he's no he's not now you're reaching 0.98
00:52:44.860 yeah you're really trying but what i will say is she's in his wife's in a better position because
00:52:51.360 she's an only child only by the thought that her brother and sister killed themselves so i mean like
00:52:57.820 that's no that wasn't that wasn't uh like those were her stepbrother and stepsister those ones uh they 0.98
00:53:03.520 are not his kids so she was the only child she was the only child but when like he kind of like
00:53:09.620 he kind of essentially went off and he like got remarried and she had kids and like basically
00:53:15.120 kind of treats them like his family and she he hasn't talked to i hadn't talked to my wife in over
00:53:18.980 a decade so it's like it is this weird now huh all right should we should we guess what the amount
00:53:27.120 is is that yeah you guys can we can i just say briefly that how like reprehensible i i think it is
00:53:33.320 as a man to abandon like yes no i hate it's one yeah it's one thing to abandon your son but if you
00:53:39.640 abandon your daughter i'm just like god i just i don't even know like there's no words like really
00:53:44.700 annoying no well okay all right that changes my mind good point i mean so people understand she
00:53:49.400 turned on my wife would like went to juvie and everything like she got in a lot of trouble as a 1.00
00:53:55.500 kid and then like essentially during that time i understand like what you you have a type 0.99
00:54:01.640 jose very much yeah yeah no my wife my wife's nuts but uh fucking like he like yeah she was a bad 1.00
00:54:08.520 kid she got her shit together but during that time where she like got in a lot of trouble 0.99
00:54:12.380 fucking her dad basically just was like well i don't want anything to do with this and just like 0.98
00:54:16.560 then it hasn't talked to her since but her life is different now so he didn't abandon her when she 1.00
00:54:21.640 was a child he abandoned her when she was a piece of shit yes which is weirdly kind of worse 0.95
00:54:26.500 because it's like you had their whole life with them and as a teenager that's when i don't ship 0.99
00:54:30.180 no i don't know for me as a dad like i can understand maybe jumping out of their life for
00:54:35.900 a little while because it's like hey if anything all i'm going to do here is enable but like i would
00:54:40.860 always check in and it's like you know like it's can we discuss what if my if my daughter dates a 1.00
00:54:46.240 black guy oh but that's the best time wait if she's a piece of shit though doesn't some of that 1.00
00:54:51.300 have to do with bad parenting no yeah exactly no i'm not on you a lot what are you talking about 1.00
00:54:57.140 bad mothering probably blame it on the mom yeah it's never the father's fault all right i'm going
00:55:02.380 with 10 000 on this by the way 10 000 what else we got i'll go you're not at all excited but i'm
00:55:09.540 still going to say 25k 25k okay i think it's something like 3 000 and like weird like an odd
00:55:16.380 number it's like an account he forgot yeah 3 000 but it was it was like a ball like a hundred
00:55:21.260 dollar bond he bought in like 1992 i'm just going to go grab the paper so i can read the exact amount
00:55:28.400 what if it's a foreign conversation oh that'd be great if it was like rubles or some weird like
00:55:34.400 same joke you know it's definitely not a lot of money because he has to go pick up the paper to
00:55:42.520 remember what it was if it was if it was 575 000 he'd be like i remember this no i i would love it
00:55:48.720 it's like it was like it actually wasn't money it was stock but only in blockbuster
00:55:53.240 it was stock in that insulin company yeah everyone put in a guess
00:56:02.400 what were all the guesses they were all like at least three grand 10 grand 25 grand i think i think
00:56:10.480 dollars and 48 cents oh no was it 348 what no you say three sixty dollars and 48 cents oh okay 0.92
00:56:22.900 oh no dude that'll buy you fucking three laotian boys on the black market though so 0.97
00:56:28.320 count your lucky score take a guess i don't even know if it's worth the paperwork 0.97
00:56:33.860 it's like it's like the processing fee is 38 dollars and it's like okay well i mean
00:56:39.400 that's like not even one week out of this that's awful man jose was telling us all week
00:56:46.100 bad for my wife but also but you saw the amount because like i understand like for her that's like
00:56:50.640 she probably maybe had some hopeful thought of like you know maybe he loves not that she's like
00:56:55.280 materialistic in that sense more just like that would signal it something you know from him but
00:57:00.800 like 60 bucks so i felt awful but also part of me is like this is also kind of hilarious yeah dude
00:57:06.680 he knew that women shouldn't be handling money dude 1.00
00:57:09.720 he's like he's like one final lesson for you
00:57:14.860 yeah you must invest this in the best possible cole how much money did you make for uh giving
00:57:22.460 plasma oh in a week in a week it was more than 60 dollars
00:57:26.080 barely no it wasn't we said 25 35 right so that's that's true
00:57:31.320 i think dicky was such a degenerate i think he was going to different plasma clinics like all in
00:57:40.020 the same day how despicable is it though like for me i was thinking about this from like an economic
00:57:45.180 sense and i was like how despicable is it as like to become a multi-millionaire within your lifetime
00:57:50.440 and generate this much wealth and then just die and not leave it to like your actual blood kin
00:57:56.160 because like it's just going to he has other kids though well step kids they're not his real kids
00:58:00.760 these are like grown adult kids when he came like that's true for eight months that kind of looks
00:58:06.100 like a girl that uh jose would be into too that looks oh 100 she's on twitter uh michael send me
00:58:11.840 nudes immediately thank you very much i don't ever like any her name is michael yeah i was gonna say
00:58:16.740 i don't think i don't think her name is michael dude i think it's weird probably 0.64
00:58:20.380 but you're saying i'm being catfished again god damn it that's oh oh you've been you've been dm 0.98
00:58:28.160 with her too you fucking low down dirty scoundrel if code is dming with it's a dude okay but 0.99
00:58:34.900 but yeah i i could well i don't that's an fbi agent who keeps also just keeps 60 bucks in a random 0.99
00:58:41.900 account like i don't have such a low amount it's like you're like i feel like is that like is that
00:58:48.240 like uh it's jose jose jose you weren't even feeling even an inkling of the disrespect that 0.63
00:58:54.520 you should be because that's with compound interest over god knows how many fucking years dude i was 0.96
00:59:00.000 like 52 dollars yeah no i think he put about 350 in there and then he was like we'll see what it is 0.88
00:59:05.920 no no i love the thought that he knew he's about to die he had it was her college account it had
00:59:11.020 like guys there's a chance still there's a chance that's true but what i'm saying is uh if he was
00:59:18.780 very rich and let's say he it was like a college fund that he put like 200 grand in but before he 0.82
00:59:23.760 died he was like fuck my daughter take it out and transfer it over to a different account but leave 0.98
00:59:30.300 like dude here's here's what you here's what you have to know he had like 300 000 in there and he put 0.99
00:59:36.580 it all in dogecoin right right right before the fall dude yeah right before elon rug pulled yeah
00:59:43.520 he was like he was watching it and he was like if i want to make a quick buck i can make my daughter
00:59:48.640 so much more money i'm gonna put it in dogecoin it's just a really risky investment for a short
00:59:53.260 term but it's gonna work out and then he just lost it all and he was like well all right maybe he
00:59:57.320 just invested in a lot of adult learning classes at the learning annex who knows let's not assume what
01:00:03.720 he was doing maybe he was learning about uh ancient civilization maybe maybe actually maybe
01:00:10.100 it was all invested in ftx and he actually was like he was a one of the uh millionaire donors 0.99
01:00:17.080 to ftx and all this shit and he just lost all the cash maybe maybe the gun he bought to kill himself 0.87
01:00:22.400 was made out of pure gold you never know hey i had an interesting thought at uh animal kingdom 0.99
01:00:30.080 uh well i was in line for an hour and a half because that's all you do at disney is you stand 0.99
01:00:33.580 in lines and i was like i was thinking to myself why did you go to the fast pass you fucking poor 1.00
01:00:38.420 even with the fast pass it takes a while too yeah i'm not i'm not paying for me no motherfucking 0.99
01:00:42.480 fast pass there's only four rides at the disney park why are you going to disney because my mom's 0.83
01:00:48.620 here oh right okay fast pass or nothing i've if i like mom is it's not going what's where is the
01:00:55.640 story gone animal kingdom what zach needs to ask me questions about my mom i was gonna say i mean
01:01:00.160 top just excused a grown man going to disney because his mother she her his mother's also grown
01:01:06.940 these are adults going to disney she's significantly older than me which you might find fascinating is
01:01:13.560 his mother so old that she's like a child again you know what i mean if i was going to any like any
01:01:19.940 park within disney it wouldn't be it would definitely be epcot if anything oh my god
01:01:26.000 why is this here what the hell what just happened oh you're all getting cold this year because you 0.97
01:01:31.660 didn't hate israel enough who allowed this what the fuck it was never funny oh jacob no real quick 0.99
01:01:42.260 um because you're a religious man were you deathly afraid of random uh prophetic events as a child 0.99
01:01:48.860 also was oh yeah circumcised do you have his foreskin 0.85
01:01:52.700 he is a christian jew so there's overlap so it could be did god shoot rose answer me now there's 0.53
01:02:01.240 nothing there's nothing that that signifies a christian tilting jew then those all the way 0.98
01:02:07.360 around the lens framed glasses with the big jewish nose there's nothing that's the symbol dude that's 0.99
01:02:13.740 the symbol that you know that you go to church and they're playing like drums at the fucking altar 1.00
01:02:17.440 you're like enough come on bring back tradition come on are you a closeted jew 1.00
01:02:22.000 but i'm not a closeted jew i'm a jew did we just out you i'm sorry
01:02:26.960 but i but i but i believe in jesus so that i can claim you know i can get the best of both worlds
01:02:35.380 yeah it might as well cover your back i don't understand this is like the jews are really upset 0.98
01:02:39.240 like they really like don't like jesus and it's like guys like you can do you can still have all
01:02:44.200 your jewishness stuff and still like accept jesus and then like you are definitely covered like you 0.98
01:02:49.440 got it down for real like and it's not you also get like the top level of heaven like you skip
01:02:55.000 straight to the top the reason they don't like they don't like jesus because of all the good stuff
01:02:58.860 he said because then they'd have to actually live by that
01:03:00.840 they're like they took the give money to caesar as just like manipulate caesar into doing our will
01:03:08.520 they understood politics better than the lp that's true and then and then they and then
01:03:15.500 they killed him it was a judas i believe that was actually really funny i don't know if anybody saw 1.00
01:03:20.740 the twitter thread about how nose breeze how um i can't remember who that was but it was talking 0.96
01:03:27.300 about how the jews didn't actually kill jesus and they were like and i was like this is the dumbest 0.73
01:03:32.360 argument ever because it's 100 true the jews killed jesus that was josh smith said that because 0.87
01:03:38.160 oh yeah that's right it was pilot was like you can take jesus or you can take this like
01:03:43.320 violent murder pedophile that we locked up they were like give us the murder pedophile 0.95
01:03:48.480 yeah we want the murder pedophile at least like let's kill jesus and yeah pilot was like all right 0.98
01:03:54.480 to be honest sometimes i doubt i'm like these aren't the same jews like i think sometimes maybe it's 0.99
01:03:59.120 the black people but then hearing that where they're like they prefer the pedophile i'm like 0.90
01:04:02.720 no it's the same jews dude i'm gonna you're you're the way you talk top i'm gonna be having to read 1.00
01:04:09.340 jewish books just to like confirm or deny the crazy shit you say like you know what damn it he was 1.00
01:04:14.580 fucking right there is some fucked up shit in here jose's gonna read uh the torah can i please run my 1.00
01:04:21.240 thesis past you know you have mocked me all right so my thesis that i came up with well standing in line 1.00
01:04:26.980 at disney is that basically the next generation of kids like they either they go i was gonna say it
01:04:33.500 was uh you know the next generation of kids i was gonna say they take two paths but i think it was
01:04:39.700 actually three i think they either go religious or they go like the like instead of goth or emo now
01:04:45.920 you're basically just like trans right and then the the other path is like gym rat and like there's 0.94
01:04:51.380 no other options like you're either like religious zealot yeah or a religious zealot that wants to 0.86
01:04:58.220 chop off your body parts or you go to the gym that's it you're either cole you're either jacob 0.97
01:05:03.760 daniel or toad yeah let you guys decide which is which i feel like there's a there's a there's some 0.92
01:05:09.360 good overlap between the gym rat and the religious that's true not the trans has no overlap with the 0.88
01:05:15.280 other two like at all like there is there is no trans person that is a gym rat i'm here for it 0.99
01:05:19.740 weed them out younger you know although i would definitely steal all this testosterone from the 1.00
01:05:25.280 uh from the trans kid as a gym rat just like they'd be like oh you got the good shit like the good like 1.00
01:05:30.260 uh prescription dude that's like the new that'll be the new adderall like kids give it away adderall 0.99
01:05:35.020 that'll be like testing like one little test my wife is still breastfeeding so like i need to get in 1.00
01:05:40.820 like handing out testosterone with breast milk because it has the hgh so like that way the 1.00
01:05:46.360 trans men can get like a breast milk protein shake come on fuck on about it now come on 1.00
01:05:51.980 i have a story about that from the day i was drinking my after workout protein shake and my 1.00
01:05:58.440 and elizabeth was literally trying she had her boob out and was actually squirting it at me and she 1.00
01:06:04.000 was like i'm gonna make you drink it like she's putting it didn't happen and my women breastfeeding 1.00
01:06:09.920 mother women like that is like a kink for them they're like hey i'm gonna squirt this across 1.00
01:06:13.800 the room at you they look i i never she was definitely it's the first time they get to
01:06:18.400 shoot robes like women why do you think that's my target demographic man like she was never into 1.00
01:06:23.260 this kind of stuff before and now it was literally out of nowhere she just comes up and just i was
01:06:27.320 just sitting on the couch drinking my protein and she's just like i'm gonna get some in there and 1.00
01:06:30.280 like was like just just at me like i was told your target demo works at fucking langley relax 0.99
01:06:36.720 they want to know how much how much we have to uh fundraise to for all of us to get hammered for
01:06:43.220 an episode i mean that's like every episode usually yeah i'm drinking i mean i don't think i've ever
01:06:48.140 drank on an episode you'd have to pay me i used to but i'm sober now if i want to get hammered i mean
01:06:53.340 it would just be the just the price of the drinks basically like for like 20 bucks for each of us
01:06:59.020 is like a that's probably what two six packs for 20 bucks you probably get like yeah give or take
01:07:06.260 yeah and so and so we can we can crush like all crush six beers we would be hammered but we'd be
01:07:12.360 pretty feeling pretty good 125 bucks and it happens i here's here's what i say they should have work
01:07:18.160 night's dog same so do i dude push the limit like do you imagine how many views it would get if you
01:07:25.700 all just od'd on fentanyl and just left it going left the lives we've actually discussed that we we
01:07:32.420 want to do something where all of us are taking a different drug and uh basically it'll be a shitty
01:07:37.080 episode but oh my god the people that are watching have to guess which it's like jeopardy like
01:07:41.280 jeffrey like what's that overdose or we could all take fentanyl we could get derek so it has a
01:07:48.120 seizure but he's not doing any drugs he's just i've always wanted to try cocaine yeah i has a
01:07:55.140 seizure because i've always wanted to try cocaine again i highly recommend drugs i still do but i used
01:08:04.440 to too oh yeah did you ever tell this like what your cocaine stories about what you remember
01:08:11.160 i don't know i know it was after it was after a show i know this was one of those things where
01:08:15.940 we had a kick-ass conversation i think it was told it was like we talked about this in the show and
01:08:19.780 it's like it's like there's sometimes just shit just happens in the group chat and i can't just
01:08:23.860 like reproduce that like right i don't remember i think i was talking about how like i don't know 0.99
01:08:28.620 probably maybe once every couple years so me and the wife will get a bunch of blow just fuck 1.00
01:08:33.140 like send the kids send the kids to my in-laws and just fucking once every couple of years or once 1.00
01:08:38.500 every year once every year every couple years like is that i want to know is there like a day 0.96
01:08:43.000 no we don't have a day every once in a while is this like a is this like a like a mexican is like 0.99
01:08:49.420 a day of the dead thing where they just every just a fucking ounce of blow and just fucks their 0.98
01:08:54.980 wife anyone out here listening that's ever done blow you you know it's especially if you're like 0.99
01:08:59.140 if you've if you've been married for a long time it's like you know what kick the kids out
01:09:02.820 i've never done it but i know this i know this to be a fact that this is like something that
01:09:08.440 particularly white people that look like jose this is what they do they will they'll give their kids
01:09:13.480 over to their parents and then they will just do copious amounts of blow my buddy john does it like 0.95
01:09:18.460 twice a year i think and him and his wife they just do tons of blow she pegs him it's crazy that's it
01:09:24.060 wow so what's interesting is racist against hobbits in in in south dakota it's the same thing but meth
01:09:32.340 it's mad yeah yeah you gotta i feel like that's what it's like where i'm at in alabama too i wanted
01:09:37.880 to do meth too to be honest when i did coke i had i had no sex drive 0.84
01:09:42.440 i had no sex drive when i did coke you can't get it up i've heard yeah i can't i well i also drank
01:09:49.720 when i was on it yeah there you go i was like you have no idea what the stock market 0.97
01:09:55.780 okay blow makes it hard you gotta act quick blow makes it hard for me to sustain a boner but as 0.98
01:10:01.840 long as i have stimulation it's fucking just stays but like it's almost like my add goes haywire so 0.99
01:10:06.780 your blood has nowhere to go it's compacted into a grape dude your body's a grape the blood in your 1.00
01:10:14.140 head is reaching your dick in less than a millisecond dude but yeah for me it's like 1.00
01:10:19.000 sexual stimulation is not happening like my mind races to something else and i forget about sex 1.00
01:10:25.080 but like boobs again and it's like just right back jose is just a half chub all the time i think i 0.99
01:10:30.800 think that's how it wants i'm working out jose looks like a half chub dude you just constantly 1.00
01:10:35.240 you're just a semi dude you're walking around with a fucking a full of a half full penis dude that's 1.00
01:10:41.340 good are you guys showers or growers oh neither definitely uh yeah neither like does it look big 1.00
01:10:49.600 and then only grow a little bit or is it like you know almost like how about it in and then it comes
01:10:53.500 out like like listen jacob i've never met you but i'm working on my deltoids right now i don't even i 0.99
01:10:58.900 don't need to be talking about penis i have a i have a very fascinating phenomenon with my dick where 0.99
01:11:03.400 like it's either like like when it's soft obviously it'll be it'll be like sometimes it'll be two 0.99
01:11:09.080 inches and then sometimes it'll be like five and i'm like why why is my dick it's just doing things 0.90
01:11:15.180 but there's no there's no rhyme or reason hard hard or soft no no both soft oh okay all right 0.99
01:11:21.300 sometimes sometimes i i do still like you know how when you're a fucking you're like 16 you're like 0.99
01:11:27.920 maybe if i stretch this thing just come on like taffy you think you can taffy it out 0.96
01:11:33.640 you can't it's still joking it works yeah and then they make those things to grow back your
01:11:38.520 foreskin that like they literally grab the skin and just pull down on it gradually yeah 0.97
01:11:42.580 if i was gonna do a drug on stream it would definitely be molly and i just want to because
01:11:58.440 i feel like how i am now times molly i i don't know like i might be if i was on molly around cole 1.00
01:12:05.560 with his fucking sexy like beautiful beautiful man face i would fuck him for sure 1.00
01:12:11.540 beard is coming along nicely i must say yeah i you better put those you better put those 1.00
01:12:17.800 fucking collarbones away bro we're fucking danger right now 0.99
01:12:21.440 you're all too sexy and i bought uh like a beard conditioner and uh shampoo so i was like 1.00
01:12:27.900 cole cole is exactly what toad described his ideal transsexual partner to be 1.00
01:12:34.140 not quite yes uh yeah sorry my name is exactly what you described 1.00
01:12:40.700 he's like don't shave i don't want i want you to keep the dick i didn't say that 0.99
01:12:46.100 this is all subliminal messaging to fucking cole 1.00
01:12:49.340 yeah oh you want to get to hear like uh last week toad and jose both said if they were to fuck 1.00
01:12:57.560 a tranny they would rather still have 1.00
01:13:00.200 you slipped by would you rather have the penis or actually have it cut off have it have the surgery 1.00
01:13:10.060 and have it removed have that disgusting cash exactly you don't have to fuck it and you're 1.00
01:13:14.700 fucking in the yeah i know you're fucking the butt but the gash is still a fucking right 1.00
01:13:17.860 there or a hole that was my argument it's all of course mommy thirst and in the chat look at 1.00
01:13:23.980 this bitch come on man you just said me look at her he's a married man damn hold on let me let 1.00
01:13:32.980 me let me correct you about what cole looks like cole looks like a long island transgender stripper 1.00
01:13:37.720 named cheryl nebraska dude that's what he looks like i'm not gonna lie i will stick out for i was
01:13:43.520 like when i first met cole i was like my you're more handsome than i thought
01:13:46.600 yeah when you see him in real life right too yeah no i thought i thought cole was really good looking 0.99
01:13:52.280 on stream and then i met him in person i was like oh you're a dwarf this is fun
01:13:55.460 i wasn't even close to the the shortest one there top was a lot was the one that was i know but but
01:14:02.880 you're so handsome i expected you to be my height and then i walk up and i'm like oh you're a little
01:14:06.520 person are you you're taller than me cole i'm pretty sure we're the same what are you five nine
01:14:10.900 yeah about you know what i'm five eight i'm five eight i know it's it's cole's proportions that his 0.57
01:14:18.880 like his like hips are so wide that when you stand next to him you're like am i am i told it's hard to
01:14:24.320 tell cole has very good birth yeah someone someone said i had uh the portions of a midget but if they
01:14:29.080 were just like not a midget i'm pretty sure that was me the first time i met you 0.86
01:14:32.800 you know you're not proportioned right you're very like you know you you legit have dwarf you
01:14:39.500 have dwarf syndrome but like in a five foot eight body it doesn't make any sense at all 1.00
01:14:42.920 you have a fucking dwarf's ass but you're five eight i've i've i've had uh uh how do you 1.00
01:14:50.000 you you weren't even there like i've never met for us i should have a booty stalking you 1.00
01:14:55.760 my ass has been on the internet you you've shown it to me on and i also did 0.98
01:15:01.920 i i send the our group chat uh ass pictures every day yes all the time yeah it's the only 0.99
01:15:08.520 reason i still let him on the show yeah exactly especially knowing outside uh bending over 0.65
01:15:14.840 backwards they get dude i i mean with how crunchy i've been getting i thought about you know going 1.00
01:15:19.940 out and sunning my asshole it's like you know if you know it can't hurt like what if that shit 0.99
01:15:25.720 what if that shit actually works that's what what if like what if we all missing out like it's like 1.00
01:15:30.580 a thing of like hold up hold hold up you said it can't hurt it certainly the fuck can you get a 1.00
01:15:36.300 sunburn on your asshole and you try to shit dude what the fuck are you talking about dude dry wiping 1.00
01:15:42.560 dry wiping with a sunburn on your asshole holy shit dude and and if you're a professional trans 1.00
01:15:48.240 prostitute like cole uh you're gonna really regret having him you guys ever you ever guys you guys 1.00
01:15:53.380 ever like wipe your ass and it's slippery so you wipe the shit up onto your tailbone that'll happen 1.00
01:15:58.040 that'll happen dude yeah when you have like diarrhea yeah that can happen i went out for i will tell you i 1.00
01:16:04.580 went out uh on saturday for my anniversary dinner which had a great i had a 40 ounce tomahawk and i also
01:16:10.980 had um oh what's it called what's the steak when it's uh just uncooked and they uh and they
01:16:17.500 i had steak tartare oh tartare yeah and so elizabeth didn't want to eat tartare she was like 1.00
01:16:23.940 i don't want to she was like i can't just take her for some blowing fucking 1.00
01:16:27.400 and and so i ate the entire like appetizer of steak tartare and then i ate like another like 10 to 12 0.99
01:16:36.680 ounces of the tomahawk the next day i shit like nobody's business dude it was one of those like 0.99
01:16:43.520 diarrhea all day wiping and getting like shit all up on my tailbone 0.99
01:16:49.080 the slippery wipes i i thought about going to get my wife from my kid and being like i have to like 0.93
01:16:59.940 this is the only way to get this stuff you know clean yeah it's a problem it does become a problem
01:17:06.240 it's it's almost to the point where you need like uh you ever use one of those chamois on a to dry your
01:17:12.320 car off after you wash it like a sham wow dude you need a sham wow yeah dude at some point you
01:17:18.640 could shower dude i've i've really thought about getting a a bidet because i feel like that's 0.99
01:17:24.840 gonna be dude so i just want my wife won't lick my asshole so i figured i'd try to i try to take a 1.00
01:17:31.240 shower after i shit so just just so you just so you gentlemen know i i uh my uncle had a bidet i went 1.00
01:17:37.760 out to south dakota spent some time with him um not just him okay come on now um i fucked him if 0.99
01:17:45.480 anybody was fucking anybody come on um he had a bidet and what will happen is if you sit too far 1.00
01:17:52.520 back on the seat you'll get shot in the balls so you got to make sure you're positioned yeah that 0.99
01:17:57.680 sounds pretty nice not dude not when it splits the two and it gets those weird little cords that 0.99
01:18:02.940 are holding them yeah oh yeah i was ever yeah it gives you a vasectomy because there's ones that
01:18:08.340 have the front spray and the back spray and if you if you don't know which one's the right direction
01:18:12.520 you get a nice little spray one of those fancy japanese toilets yeah it's hard to tell what's
01:18:17.140 going on with that dude yeah it'll split the scrub go right down the seam it'll hurt by the way if you 1.00
01:18:23.300 do use wet wipes and you flush those fuckers i hate you and i hope you die do not i used to do that 1.00
01:18:29.780 when i went wet wipes i didn't give a fuck they have flushable wipes man no they don't burn 1.00
01:18:34.640 the story the story is my asshole i don't give a shit about your goddamn problems as an engineer 1.00
01:18:39.340 so the story zach was saying before where he took his shit and put it in in a garbage garbage can 1.00
01:18:44.620 yeah uh in in like old school spanish homes and people still do it in america if they're from like 0.99
01:18:49.300 uh south america or puerto rico whatever they'll wipe their ass with toilet paper and then put it in 1.00
01:18:54.220 the garbage bin and they go play and do they go play silent hill on the computer directly after 0.99
01:18:59.680 they don't even watch well they were they were uh rich enough to have computers uh zach they
01:19:03.820 they went outside to play dominoes uh my my great aunt her house that's what she did she always it was 1.00
01:19:11.080 i don't know if they had like didn't have indoor plumbing or something but she was always she would 1.00
01:19:15.140 wipe her ass and throw it in the trash um i also did the grab the shit and put it but i put it in a 1.00
01:19:20.940 toilet i was taking a bath with my cousin uh i was very young i was probably like eight or nine 1.00
01:19:26.840 and we're taking a bath together i was 17 and i and i let it i let it go in the bath and i had to 0.85
01:19:33.440 discreetly grab it and take it out and put it in and pretend to go take a shit in the toilet and just 0.99
01:19:40.180 oh fuck wait cool you didn't we have a septic tank babe oh my god yeah stop that shit i would i would 1.00
01:19:48.900 never do that at my place you need to stop that woman it's not a good one i guess it's like 40 1.00
01:19:56.680 years old you're in way too good a shape and you're way too attractive to be putting up with 1.00
01:20:01.180 some fucking bullshit like that you got to get out of that relationship man i still i i mean i mean i 1.00
01:20:06.640 haven't gotten pussy man like i know how's the time before you get attached you know get out what if 1.00
01:20:12.880 your balls what if your balls hung so low that you could wipe your ass with your balls what about that 1.00
01:20:17.940 well i could about that i could i absolutely but why would it be a stretch but i could do it 1.00
01:20:23.340 my balls are touching my my taint right now like it's it's top what do you mean why would you it's 0.95
01:20:29.940 so comfortable it's like flesh on flesh dude yeah well because the reason why you wouldn't is because 1.00
01:20:36.940 you'd have shit on the back of your balls yeah but that's that's negligible that's a negligible point 1.00
01:20:42.520 because you have running water like there's a new system where you wipe it with your balls 1.00
01:20:48.220 and dip your balls in a little like a little like oh that'd be great there's like a little water like 0.97
01:20:52.980 a little water bowl maybe that's what the seashells were for from demolition man oh yeah dude they call 1.00
01:21:00.240 it we'll call it the ball bidet you wipe your ass with your balls water shoots up and cleans off the 0.99
01:21:05.500 back of your balls you go on the road you go on with the rest of your day you go on the road 0.99
01:21:10.000 no paper involved yeah yeah true true have you have you had to use the because again like i said we 0.99
01:21:17.760 have a really bad septic tank so we've had to buy the cheap scott paper by the way i'm like legit mad
01:21:23.640 at your wife for you she said she was joking and i don't believe her now but i still don't believe
01:21:29.120 like but uh are we really gonna just like let this go that zach said no no you you wipe your 1.00
01:21:35.940 asshole you you have a bidet you had no no hold on hold on you have a bidet but you use your balls 1.00
01:21:41.840 you put the shit on your balls and then you bidet your balls so you have you have shit that has been 1.00
01:21:46.640 in your asshole and on your balls and then you just use a spray to get rid of it why would you do that 1.00
01:21:50.100 all i'm trying to do is promote biological self-reliance perfect for your butthole yeah truly and 1.00
01:21:56.440 honestly yeah if you're a woman and you're not wiping your asshole with your pussy lips i don't 1.00
01:21:59.980 want to have i don't want oh i'm sorry dude all i'll listen bugs because the bugs will just go in 1.00
01:22:05.960 and clean your intestinal tract out and then you don't have to shit anymore anymore yeah oh yeah 0.99
01:22:10.240 just hog it all up uh i will but like i was saying i had to use scott's uh toilet paper which is 1.00
01:22:16.880 scott's flushable come on yeah you might as well just fucking wipe your ass with your bare hand 1.00
01:22:22.160 like that shit is completely i literally like sandpaper because i mean they say that you get 1.00
01:22:27.220 like twice as much toilet paper but it's because they literally it's so thin i literally just grab 0.99
01:22:31.700 it i'm just like fold fold fold fold fold and wipe my ass and it's like it's always like glued on 0.93
01:22:36.420 like the first one is like yes terribly and you're like shredding it apart trying to get like 0.97
01:22:41.260 oh god and it's all we can use if we don't use that it will destroy our septic tank oh yeah 0.94
01:22:46.060 so like i i'm i'm in a uh fucked situation so we have a 1902 home and our plumbing is shit so i 0.99
01:22:52.760 mean it's not septic tank but the pipes are so small and weak that we have to use the cheapest 1.00
01:22:57.880 toilet paper like that so terrible city water you call yourself an anarchist you fucking piece of 1.00
01:23:02.720 shit i wonder if i feel like toad buys like triple ply like oh i got the nice uh yeah yeah yeah 1.00
01:23:14.620 you ever get those there's like manly butt wipes that have like the uh um dude wipes yeah they're 0.97
01:23:19.960 the dude my uh wife bought me them for christmas last year i forget what they had some kind of like
01:23:24.260 it wasn't aloe it was some kind of other like it was like mint like you have to wipe your butt you 0.88
01:23:28.360 have like minty minty kind of like cooling it's like it's like aftershave that's that's an 0.99
01:23:33.960 actually moron if ever i heard one that you know those manly butt wipes no i don't 1.00
01:23:38.160 uh just clinch just uses all the beanies he wears on this fucking podcast 1.00
01:23:44.280 how many times how many times do you have to wipe before you like stop and like and like 12 dude 0.97
01:23:52.920 lately 12 it's bad okay okay i feel bad for saying this like i i do stop at a point and i'm just like
01:24:00.980 there's still like a little bit like a brown on there i'm like i i mean i got most of it
01:24:06.920 it's literally all or nothing it's either like first wipe and done because it's like you're just 0.72
01:24:12.480 like magic or it's just like you're you're like all right fuck this usually by the third wipe i'm 0.86
01:24:17.760 like i i'm done you get to a point you're like this isn't gonna stop it just keeps coming i don't 1.00
01:24:22.780 know why my time is important to me let me let me tell you let me tell you something my asshole's 0.98
01:24:26.940 like the southern border everything's getting through dude there's nothing there's nothing i can do 0.99
01:24:31.540 to stop it dude there's just it doesn't matter dude you put border patrol down there good
01:24:36.020 here's my here's my policy you wipe four times on the fourth time if you see brown you wipe a fifth 0.87
01:24:41.120 time you don't look you're done you go if you go about you did you wipe the first time and there's 1.00
01:24:49.180 nothing on there already and you're like did i even just shit like it's definitely mine fuck 1.00
01:24:53.060 those those are very rare because my asshole is very hairy worst mommy said that's how you get uh 1.00
01:24:58.000 hemorrhoids i've never had hemorrhoids that's true that is true actually does have hemorrhoids 1.00
01:25:02.680 wait wait wait from all of what things did we say is the way from from from the uh leave
01:25:08.800 excessive excessive wiping yeah no i think non-excessive right you know none of you know
01:25:14.060 none of you know what you're talking about you know what they got hemorrhoids from pregnancy 0.97
01:25:18.660 let me let me tell you what's going on here so so cole this shit works out for me and you so if we 0.99
01:25:23.140 wipe our ass and like the fifth time there's like there's still shit on it we have the butt cheek 0.99
01:25:28.100 capacity to just be like we can go throughout the day and our butt cheeks are like stealing the 1.00
01:25:33.880 shit inside there clint who is i know he has told me multiple times he does not wear underwear and 1.00
01:25:40.540 wears basketball shorts constantly is doing the same thing so that means his butthole is directly 1.00
01:25:46.280 against these basketball shorts and he's just walking around just dirty assed all day like this 1.00
01:25:51.360 you're a dirty ass millionaire walking around like that's dope that's dope yo and not only that 0.99
01:25:57.620 but i'll go to the gym and i'll be oh man oh yeah i'm serious he'd be like doing he'd be like doing 1.00
01:26:04.920 bench press and he like gets up and like i mean that those ass cheek uh imprints but here's here's 0.67
01:26:11.480 the silver lining and i do this for kanye my my building filled with jews so hell yeah yeah i
01:26:17.800 supported kanye are we doing yay or cray tonight i don't think we have time we're an hour and a
01:26:22.460 half i'm not sticking around yeah no no i i kind of want to end like wrap this up with uh with
01:26:27.560 butthole wiping because i mean yeah yeah you're crazy good one i mean i'll explain it to you guys so
01:26:34.160 you know what you're missing out on my cousin are we not gonna do it just do it of course mommy said 0.99
01:26:39.720 that's kind of hot clint thank you jesus fuck send me news i guess i guess there is something too 0.98
01:26:46.980 because it's kind of like a woman not wearing panties what yearly salary at what if he was 0.98
01:26:56.500 going to make less money a year would it no longer be attractive that's what i want to know oh oh yeah
01:27:01.440 like if i was homeless it's not hot at all where is that cut off is it like a hundred thousand a year 0.99
01:27:07.540 120 it's how much money do i have to make to not wipe my ass at all right all right i bet if i was 0.98
01:27:13.820 bill gates i would stop showering like i think i think she meant the commando part not the five 0.99
01:27:19.060 not the five wipe and and run rule but those those are intertwined you can't separate those
01:27:26.180 like if that's happening it's still i'm surprised by how many women watch the show it's yeah mostly 1.00
01:27:32.900 women why all the comments we get are women and then like and lorenzo the crowd at the robbie the
01:27:41.460 event with robbie was like really weird we were like i was not expecting this demographic
01:27:45.440 the gangbang after though was way better than i expected no it's a middle-aged women 1.00
01:27:51.680 yeah it was crazy anyway so listen the game that we were gonna play was called uh yay or cray so my
01:27:57.500 cousin had a mental breakdown and he was threatening to kill my mom and like other family members it was
01:28:02.140 really fun on facebook um so we were just gonna pull up some of his uh some of his comments like 0.95
01:28:08.760 just like just i mean some of the most bizarre shit and then some of kanye west's comments and
01:28:13.720 see if we could determine which was which and i also want to say he's still on facebook which is 0.89
01:28:19.720 crazy he's literally threatening death like daily it's it's crazy it's like pulling us out by name
01:28:25.880 do you want to do it do you want to do it next episode what do we want to do we'll do the next
01:28:30.660 episode but i go on facebook and i say like something like i think trump did something pretty okay
01:28:35.420 here and they're like 30 day ban they just kick kick me like we laid this all out like hey mailbag 0.99
01:28:41.420 board we're gonna do all this tonight and then we don't do any fuck you mailbag boy 0.99
01:28:46.340 sorry but hey the yay or cray is gonna be pretty funny because uh like i saw some of those things 0.98
01:28:54.580 that uh tops cousin was saying and it is legit like it's insane yeah the guy it's like a mental
01:29:01.500 breakdown like i'm surprised you didn't get arrested or maybe you did it's such a poverty
01:29:07.720 ridden mental breakdown too because you just tell there's not much intelligence going on there
01:29:11.820 it's uh yeah it's in the family did robbie meet uh force mommy like last week i i feel like they
01:29:18.920 banked i don't know like i just feel like they did robbie like saw force mommy like last week
01:29:23.360 they're fire force really gonna be weird if they didn't honestly yeah honestly yeah 0.99
01:29:27.240 so good for them uh tell us in the comments if you fuck yeah or did you like blow them or give 0.99
01:29:35.600 them a hand job or something like something cool like that yeah i mean something casual between 1.00
01:29:40.020 friends yeah yeah yeah like a casual blowjob like like we do whenever tower game beats us it's all 1.00
01:29:46.040 did you did you fuck his girlfriend oh we should we should popularize the concept of like casual 0.99
01:29:52.980 blowjobs so like any any girls that watch the show like if you want to like meet us what we should 0.99
01:29:59.540 do you what you guys should do is have a call to action no so here's what you do you call call to 0.99
01:30:05.340 action all the ladies out there go to your nearest auto shop grab the the the the the nearest 1.00
01:30:12.820 defunct car battery and throw it over the overpass and film yourself doing it and if it hits a honda
01:30:19.480 accord when it's driving you get to be on the show for two minutes that's what happens
01:30:25.380 all you have to do is commit murder it will be a sweeping beneficial social program that gets rid of
01:30:34.360 honda accord drivers and and car batteries and and gets rid of yeah yeah yeah dead car batteries
01:30:41.680 and arrest white woman yes and it this is why i wanted zach on the show because i knew he would
01:30:47.080 bring the the genius concepts it was perfect oh yeah yes it's important to recycle he's the he's the
01:30:53.200 idea man in our sphere like he has he comes up with the best ideas on they're all felonies but he's got
01:30:58.800 a lot of you know if this will become if someone actually does it and be like your honor it was
01:31:04.120 legitimately a joke we say that as our defense hey guys here's an idea if you in your brain believe
01:31:15.920 someone is a fed murder them film it send it to us get on the show and totally fine like it's in your
01:31:22.740 if it's in your mind telling you they're a fed totally fine you lost in which case in which case
01:31:29.520 all the people that dm toad are going to be resting in peace i was i was just thinking of that those
01:31:35.300 memes about like uh the snail in my ear you know have you seen the uh those memes about telling me to 0.74
01:31:40.700 uh to murder like the the woman at the the drive-thru or some shit like that 1.00
01:31:44.700 weird intrusive thoughts yeah those weird intrusive thoughts like which trials but with feds and the
01:31:51.840 libertarian movement oh do you guys remember that uh video we were going to play the show a while
01:31:56.160 back of the dude getting uh thank you yeah there it is you you know i'm talking about the the video
01:32:03.220 you want us to play was a guy getting axe in the head and i didn't make that show but i was going
01:32:07.300 to defend it because i was going to defend it from the point of i think he was just like
01:32:10.340 had the axe and he had that split moment of like i should hit him in the head and they just like
01:32:14.260 split well you know you've never had intrusive thoughts where you're like i should just like
01:32:19.440 do that i have a thought no i have a thought right now i actually had the defense of it
01:32:23.540 yeah what's your thought i think that you guys should also install a holiday that's called um
01:32:29.940 violently abuse everyone darker than top lobs today because he seems to be he seems to be a good
01:32:36.520 border mark here because the problem is like all those people that are dark in the top can fight 0.98
01:32:41.760 and so like it's gonna be we just have to organize better than them cole doesn't just reach you 0.97
01:32:47.240 anything we just have to be more well armed not the ones in chairs you can fucking dude you could 0.99
01:32:52.700 you could really you could whoop up on a wheelchair bitch real quick by the way the defense of the 1.00
01:32:57.400 axe thing was the guy that had the axe in his hands he was planning on purchasing the axe from 0.98
01:33:02.800 somebody else so he had to test the merchandise to see if it worked first i swear he just had a 0.99
01:33:06.960 fuck up in his brain like you watch him he's just messing with it like not caring the world and just 1.00
01:33:11.060 like for a moment just like and it was like that thought in the back of the head like i should just hit him 1.00
01:33:14.820 the head and he's a donk and then probably that's true i shouldn't have done that dude i that's that's 0.76
01:33:19.480 true because have you ever like have you ever just had something and then you just just you don't know 0.99
01:33:23.580 why you do it you just go fang and you just hit somebody and they're like what the fuck and i'm like 0.97
01:33:28.500 i don't know either i really don't know either i don't really do that i do that to girls a lot 0.99
01:33:34.520 like legitimately it's the same it's the same um impulse that people get when they're holding a 0.89
01:33:40.980 beautiful beautiful newborn and they're like i should fucking grab a butt end of a screwdriver 0.99
01:33:44.840 and push down on the soft spot 0.99
01:33:46.120 it's the same thing it's the same
01:33:50.820 the memes about like uh there's like that huge like ginormous
01:33:55.040 and there's like the earth and it's like it has a finger going down it's like whenever i see a baby
01:33:59.200 soft
01:33:59.580 i don't know if this is the same thing but sometimes when i'm driving and my wife starts complaining i'm
01:34:07.340 looking at oncoming traffic and i'm like i could just end this right now
01:34:09.900 i have i have so many intrusive thoughts about like just riding off the road
01:34:15.100 like my main one is whenever i'm like especially next to like a small woman i'm just like in my
01:34:19.600 head i'm like wonder how far i could punch her 1.00
01:34:21.600 you'd be like i can definitely rape you right now 1.00
01:34:25.680 this is the main genesis of my anxiety disorder is that i get those thoughts but then i just like 0.96
01:34:32.760 can't let them go even though i've never acted on any of them how do you guys just let it go
01:34:37.920 i always like that one looks about 95 pounds i think i could probably like i might be able to 1.00
01:34:44.060 kill her you let it go you let it go by not by not watching porn when you jerk off that's you you 1.00
01:34:49.580 think about these things and then you really that's the terrible thing to jerk off to dude 1.00
01:34:54.880 that's the problem with like pedophiles is like they they were the ones that couldn't 0.97
01:34:59.040 like these were the intrusive thoughts and they just let them intrude and they never pushed them out
01:35:04.060 i mean i actually i don't think like i didn't well i guess i do think about like the uh the
01:35:09.220 driving and oncoming traffic sometimes you do you do right yeah or just like uh or like the edge of
01:35:16.040 like a big cliff and being like jump yeah i have these thoughts but then i have to pull my car over
01:35:21.740 and you guys are just like i go faster you know guys have actually murdered their wives that way 0.59
01:35:28.380 they're just like hey honey why don't you unbuckle your seat a little bit right now
01:35:31.680 it's kind of like a viral thing to do now of like like going insanely fast in traffic and just like
01:35:40.920 and like and there's videos of it and it's insane of people going like 90 100 miles an hour in like
01:35:47.320 pretty dense traffic and then just wrecking and it's there's a bunch of videos i can send 0.74
01:35:53.200 yeah but it's like it's all you want like the passenger seat and it's always black people 1.00
01:35:57.040 always like it's exactly really weird it's weird you ever be driving on a bridge and you're just
01:36:02.160 like one flick of my wrist it would end it all and you just go oh back to the normal reality
01:36:06.220 it's not that you're like i want to die you're just like huh i have dreams about it i have dreams
01:36:12.620 about driving over bridges and and uh careening off into the water yeah you know what sometimes
01:36:18.580 because i'm just driving on the road and it does make you feel like an npc it's like i can only do
01:36:22.740 this but then yeah you're right in florida especially there's a lot of like
01:36:25.740 and i think i think about jacob daniel and i think i think about jacob daniel and i look at god and i
01:36:42.860 say i could do this right now and i could i could totally just go whamp and right into that ditch
01:36:46.820 who cares right dude automotive automotive homicide is actually like the the ultimate red pill like 0.98
01:36:53.180 it's the next level like where where you're just like look i'm not playing with your fucking rules 0.98
01:36:58.120 anymore so you better you better get off the sidewalk grandma i'm in a multi-thousand pound 0.98
01:37:04.920 like metal machine i can do whatever you want this would be a war machine like 200 years ago this 0.98
01:37:17.240 would be the greatest technologically war machine ever built my corvette could fucking like cut kids 1.00
01:37:26.120 in half and i was just a disney world i'm gonna do it tomorrow jacob you said there wasn't you had 0.64
01:37:32.500 interest of thoughts that were mine is whenever i'm like like on a high uh like high rise or like
01:37:39.320 on top of something like a large drop off i think about like if like whether it's my wife or a friend
01:37:45.420 or sometimes my kids and they're like hanging off like the edge of the rail and i'm just like
01:37:48.780 i wonder if i push them if they would die or not oh yeah like are we at that critical point where like 0.87
01:37:53.420 are they dead or are they just like fucked up in the hospital for a few months 0.98
01:37:57.160 i don't think i don't think that's just a hassle i have 0.93
01:38:00.460 i uh i do also have the thing i don't know if i i've heard this is i've heard a lot of people have
01:38:09.780 had this and it might be a guy thing of like looking when you're driving or in a passenger seat
01:38:14.440 looking out the window and pretending you can shoot lasers out of your eyes and just cutting
01:38:19.020 everything like you're just passing by and just cutting trees down 0.95
01:38:24.080 heads off the kids and just burning 1.00
01:38:28.280 what a window into your fucking mind 1.00
01:38:30.780 i totally love everybody but if i cut you in half with my eyes i fucking would 1.00
01:38:37.300 i look like cyclops and i'm just mowing people down 0.99
01:38:41.700 i just imagine his wife driving around and just looking out the window dreamy out of the clouds
01:38:45.780 did you guys see wait did you see the video i sent you in the group chat about the these kids in
01:38:53.140 i mean it's europe but they put all boys in a house and then they put all girls in the house
01:38:57.920 this is we're describing exactly that all the girls in the house for 10 days they were like doing 0.78
01:39:03.300 fashion shows and like who's gonna cook today and all this shit they also clean up 0.97
01:39:07.780 and bully the shit out of two girls yeah they were kind of mean but that's like normal 0.99
01:39:11.940 the boys immediately wrecked the place they bullied each other they separated into gangs 0.97
01:39:18.120 it was amazing i was like yes they went straight lord of the flies by the way my my thought my thought
01:39:24.620 as opposed to being like lasers out of my eyes whenever i meet my guy friends especially from 0.98
01:39:28.660 the internet i think about like i i size them up and i decide if i can rape them or if they can rape 0.96
01:39:33.260 me and then are you being serious like if you're being serious that is really funny 0.98
01:39:38.040 what do you think could you rape me it's it's it's not i mean you're pretty quick but like i think i 0.99
01:39:43.960 could overpower you i think but i feel like with rape you have to be able to like especially with a 0.99
01:39:48.440 man you need to be like greatly overpower them so it's like it's not like could i beat you in a 0.92
01:39:53.520 fight like could i rape you is like another level so yeah the thing is it's like it's it's like
01:39:58.760 touching rim versus dunking yeah that's a great analogy because i can actually hang on the rim 0.94
01:40:05.340 and i am nowhere near you no you can't yeah no when i every time i the the the the thing that i
01:40:11.620 always thought you can touch my rim whenever you want clint oh come on now come on now you make that
01:40:18.560 thing pulsate a little bit come on now make a quiver dude here's the difference between you and me
01:40:25.040 cole you would think about like lasers coming coming out of your eyes when you were watching
01:40:28.500 things pass in the car i was a child at five and i'm and my dad's driving i'm like they better not
01:40:33.260 ban fracking you're right i've i thought about it for you ever like very little and the problem is i
01:40:41.860 also then my like autistic brain comes in and i literally think and i it's it's literally every
01:40:47.500 time think about if the laser were going would it follow the curvature of the earth and come back 0.90
01:40:52.960 around and kill me or to just go off into space forever wouldn't if you have flatter of dave on your 1.00
01:40:57.900 fucking lasers lasers not prone to gravity you goddamn imbecile i know but like wait look at dave 1.00
01:41:05.620 in the in the chat talking about if he can kill animals like this that's just a step too far 1.00
01:41:09.740 black holes can bend yeah yeah jesus man decapitate kids don't kill animals 1.00
01:41:14.980 running over old people not pets monster yeah it is crazy i have talking about raping our best guy 0.99
01:41:23.740 friends not killing you'll never work for this show david yeah dude you had to be the producer 0.99
01:41:30.860 of this show you have to not have gone through puberty yet okay there's a line there's a line and
01:41:37.700 you just passed it we don't talk about hurting pets there's a guy new in high school that he would uh
01:41:42.860 i think i've told this before that he would bury the kittens up to their necks and then run over
01:41:46.280 with a lawnmower oh yeah he let his intrusive thoughts win i do love you i do love the idea
01:41:51.820 that if i lose this battle that like decades from now there'll be a story going around but
01:41:55.680 if you're that time that one guy literally killed the one with one punch
01:41:58.940 that's literally you know who you know who actually lived this and is and is the most successful person
01:42:07.620 in the world still it's mark walberg dude he punched a vietnamese guy's eye out yeah and he's 0.90
01:42:14.020 fucking a celebrity dude but he had head down yeah yeah he keeps his head down and his shoulder 0.91
01:42:22.040 tight and he rolls it back 1.00
01:42:23.040 oh my god it gets me thinking about these people that do these mass murders and shit it's like 0.99
01:42:34.700 they're just acting on their inhibitions but they're extremely uncreative like cole was saying 1.00
01:42:38.740 i would be cutting people in half with my eyes or with my dick maybe even like a laser through my 1.00
01:42:42.760 dick they oh boy i don't know you did a lobotomy on a gay black man so what when going back to like 1.00
01:42:48.820 when will smith uh slapped chris rock i was like that's so uncreative like if you're gonna get pissed 0.99
01:42:53.580 off and go and assault someone like cut his head off yeah like do something more interesting to just 0.99
01:42:57.600 like bitch him in the balls like you know what astounds me though the low body counts at those 1.00
01:43:03.500 it's like people they always freak out like oh my god these don't be wrong every every life it's 1.00
01:43:07.800 like sacred whatever the fuck but like you're like really this is an unarmed populace and you only got
01:43:14.020 16 what is the only the only mass shooter i've ever respected was a christ church guy i was like 0.98
01:43:19.880 all right 60 like all right yeah you're putting in you're putting in work everybody else it's like
01:43:24.820 it's like a dozen i'm like dude you you've been training for this for how long come on yeah 0.96
01:43:29.600 this is how you decide to go out and you this is how bad you fuck up like that truck at waukesha 0.95
01:43:35.860 waukesha did a pretty decent decent job no the one that is the one that is a really like six yeah 0.99
01:43:41.800 yeah wow i take it back the biggest fucking fuck up because he like shot like thousands of rounds 0.97
01:43:49.540 and got what like yeah but those were like 15 saudis from a helicopter that doesn't count 0.99
01:43:54.560 i'm still saying they still shot thousands of rounds that only got like was it like 15 dead it
01:44:01.780 wasn't that many like it wasn't no they would do there's 50 how many guys still i mean i mean the
01:44:06.960 the ratio there well considering that there was thousands of people down below and you're just
01:44:10.540 fucking rapid firing all over the place yeah yeah and you only hit like 50 i mean come on and what 0.81
01:44:16.520 what it makes me think is like you're so unlucky to be like first off you're super unlucky to be at that 1.00
01:44:23.060 event right and then there's thousands of people and you're one of the 50 that's just too dumb to 0.91
01:44:27.820 get out of the way of the bullet you know hold on hold on wasn't it wasn't it wasn't it a jason 0.98
01:44:31.940 aldean concert it was it was a country music festival i was i was at the same festival two years prior 0.84
01:44:39.600 and i was like and i hate country music but this fucking hot girl invited me so i went but anyways i 0.99
01:44:45.140 didn't get shot at the official story about like it being from the hotel and and the massive 0.97
01:44:50.280 arsenal that i had i'm like how like don't get us started none of it makes sense don't get us
01:44:54.760 started because this nobody was like this guy's made like a hundred trips into his room with these
01:44:59.540 giant bags just like what's it like it was like whoa i don't care well and andy has no motive
01:45:05.380 and the sandy hook shooter wasn't even a resident of that school like
01:45:10.240 you know david hogg to get our channel moved i appreciate it well i i respect the sandy hook
01:45:19.600 shooter the least because he never did any of it so all right wow there we go and he went after 0.99
01:45:25.900 little kids which is just not cool unless you're in your fucking corvette in which case 0.98
01:45:29.600 that's right or you have laser eyes on the front of it you have laser eyes and you see if you have 0.99
01:45:34.560 laser eyes dude if i end up running over kids at disneyland tomorrow my corvette or if cole like 0.55
01:45:39.620 assassinates a bunch of people with his eyes like don't say we didn't warn you so the laser eyes thing
01:45:45.740 is cool because i can't can other people see your lasers like i i think of them as uh cyclops from x-men
01:45:52.840 also it's like a red it's like a red beam that just comes out of my eyes so they'll be able to
01:45:57.680 track him see i really liked that there was a guy going around with his uh his nephew or something
01:46:02.200 like that and he was laying in the trunk with a sniper rifle yes and just shooting people in the 0.99
01:46:06.780 parking lot they were like dude that was a dc sniper yeah they were the biggest that was fucking sick 0.97
01:46:11.540 they got away with it for a long time you should do that 0.96
01:46:17.380 you know i've i've clint clint's been waiting realized to try to honeypot somebody and finally
01:46:31.320 he's like let's radicalize yeah guys
01:46:33.280 top's the one that's radicalizing me i i thought these were just intrusive thoughts that i've been
01:46:40.260 fighting you guys are embracing them and you're just like this is awesome we just let you know
01:46:44.320 it's perfectly normal go go ahead zach i'm sorry i was just gonna say i finally thought of uh an
01:46:50.020 irrational fear that i have um i didn't give it at the at the beginning and nobody asked so i as a
01:46:56.840 bashful boy that i am i i stayed quiet um um i have an irrational fear of having an extraordinarily 0.98
01:47:06.100 long hair in my penis hole and having to pull it out i've had that before but not like that line 0.99
01:47:13.680 like somehow my wife's hair has gone in my people before i don't know how the fuck it happened but 1.00
01:47:17.800 it happened i was it was like infinite like one of those uh like magician's tricks where they pull 0.97
01:47:23.080 like the cloth out forever it's like no it's not let's not be ridiculous toad no
01:47:27.540 this is a bunch of ribbons i feel like that wouldn't even hurt no because i'm a feel like i 0.99
01:47:35.680 feel like event like if i keep pulling my balls gonna come out oh that's one of my one of my 0.77
01:47:41.140 rational fears is uh is like the skin like that's rational the nail like one of your nails get the 0.96
01:47:48.600 hangnails and like ripping that thing and just say oh yeah let's go let's go just keep going 0.99
01:47:53.820 that's an irrational fear yeah that's why you just gotta get rid of them like a like a fucking candy 0.98
01:47:58.540 cane down your yeah it just keeps going like like the string cheese whenever you were little just 0.99
01:48:02.680 it just keeps going just all the way up an irrational irrational rational fear of mine is
01:48:07.560 like breaking my pinky finger i broke both of them i broke them backwards but like i still if
01:48:13.340 someone's throwing something at me it's like flash yeah but it's irrational because it's like
01:48:17.620 very rare for that to happen but i still will i'll keep these two fingers together if i'm it's 0.96
01:48:22.180 also very rare to get your weird ass skin color so maybe you just attract rarities in life 0.99
01:48:28.080 oh i i actually have another i i've one this is coming from the fucking ginger this is unbelievable 0.99
01:48:33.660 i cannot believe this we're at an hour 50 yeah and top has beautiful skin you do you do have 0.98
01:48:40.560 beautiful skin all right i have an irrational fear of windmills actually and it's not because i hate the
01:48:46.060 climate change agendas because i like i always envisioned the blades just spinning right off of
01:48:51.740 the thing and flying right at me decapitating me you know what i'm saying is it is it because you
01:48:57.140 you you actually do look like a toad and birds of prey are yes are your natural enemy so things high 0.99
01:49:04.620 in the sky with flapping fucking extremities scare the shit out of you anything above them 0.99
01:49:10.040 when you started that when you started that reply i was like this is going nowhere and then you 0.98
01:49:15.280 fucking nailed it good job this is what ty aims to be 0.95
01:49:19.220 this is long meandering jokes but then it gets and it hits 0.98
01:49:23.780 this is a lot of meandering jokes and then fizzles out right at the end
01:49:27.060 and then you take a long inhale what do you do every wednesday do you want to do all the work for
01:49:32.580 we have an opening um can you change your name to some weird reptile 1.00
01:49:38.880 you look like a charmeleon charmeleon what the fuck oh yeah chameleon 0.99
01:49:47.520 if we were playing toad with charmeleon that'd be pretty funny 1.00
01:49:52.580 all right guys let's do plugs get the fuck out of here 0.99
01:49:55.740 i do want to ask real quick uh top why'd you uh shave your head like why'd you cut your hair 0.94
01:50:00.560 oh i just got i just got bored of it i don't know it looks better like that you made the right
01:50:05.400 decision uh clint russell liberty lockdown subscribe make sure that you like comment
01:50:09.280 and subscribe on this episode right now and make sure you also go to toplobs.com pick up 0.98
01:50:13.960 fucking naturalist capitalist shit and everybody else's shit and then uh make sure that you also 0.99
01:50:18.200 uh subscribe to the show on your audio catcher because it's very probable that we'll get nuked off 1.00
01:50:23.800 of youtube so you want to make sure you don't miss any episodes you know what i'm saying
01:50:26.240 wait wait do you guys like the hair or not because clint said he hated it
01:50:30.320 i like it i don't know i like it the picture where you're buff and you had a little bit of a like
01:50:33.780 a little bit in the top i want you to look like young uh rock yeah i thought you look like you
01:50:40.360 like you were yeah you were trying out for like jersey shore like reboot yeah yeah you look like
01:50:47.900 which is kind of cool you look you look like you're yeah you shaved your head and you're like
01:50:52.540 i'm going to israel now that's kind of like what you look like right now
01:50:54.980 like i i i yeah but like not not the tiny hat wasn't fitting on the hair so i had to shave it
01:51:02.280 off no no no no he looks like he's going there to commit atrocities let's be honest
01:51:06.000 i'm just trying to can we touch on the uh honestly you look like you look like you were throwing rocks
01:51:11.120 but then got shot in the face
01:51:12.440 all right so all right that's the perfect way to end it 0.99
01:51:16.900 what's the patreon for us yeah patreon.com slash tower gang pod oh it was like fuck this i'm out uh 1.00
01:51:25.280 jacob real quick plug your shit you're muted you dumbass perfect right 1.00
01:51:31.260 at biblical anarchy on twitter finally shit there zach um at unfit statesman on uh twitter and 1.00
01:51:42.140 instagram all everywhere you find podcasts except youtube and uh patreon.com slash unfit statesman 0.99
01:51:49.540 you go fucking over there and you give me some fucking hey i've been on his uh patreon stream 0.99
01:51:54.320 multiple times it's always good shit it's funny yeah it's funny i almost forgot you guys have two 1.00
01:51:59.100 days at podcast merch.com to buy uh the latest it's like skanks legion of skanks uh christmas stuff 0.98
01:52:06.400 use promo code ho ho ho for 10 off you and also uh i get pieces of shit part of the problem uh 0.92
01:52:13.580 shirt too out there that's right that's exclusive that's there's only a couple left so go buy that
01:52:18.100 hell yeah i'm jose guys on i have the no way jose show i got some more okc stuff coming up for you
01:52:24.260 guys soon i know a lot of you guys are demanding that uh yeah um that's all i got yeah follow me
01:52:30.180 no way jose that's my podcast um at the fat dave on twitter also uh zach someone mentioned are you
01:52:37.220 afraid of catheters because that's what you basically described with the hair yeah i'm also 0.89
01:52:42.380 have you had a has anybody had a catheter because i had and it fucking sucks afterwards no but i'm 0.99
01:52:47.740 afraid of it it literally it it feels like uh needles because they make you piss and if you don't 0.93
01:52:53.160 piss like they put it back in but when they take it out and you have to piss it feels like needles 0.97
01:52:57.820 like going into your dick and you like pee like tiny little dribbles it's it's one of the most 0.99
01:53:03.800 like the most intense like pain i'm guessing it's kind of the same pain as a um uh a kidney stone 0.99
01:53:11.280 jose's got to get out of here he only got 60 dollars from his father yeah dude let's let's wrap 0.99
01:53:15.640 like listen let's let's let's wrap this shit up the blacks are the real israelites let's go come 0.99
01:53:20.720 on come on amen that day we see like a dying animal on the road that's just like sitting there like 1.00
01:53:25.220 just there watch it and talk to it as it's like they're suffering instead of just putting it out
01:53:30.500 of it usually i usually i watch it as it slowly like inflates as it uh and then blows up i don't
01:53:36.140 know if you ever watched that happen to roadkill over the time but it's really funny yeah you guys
01:53:40.060 keep going tangents let's get no no no tower game toad tower power uh subscribe to the patreon and then 0.98
01:53:48.960 you can submit to the mail bob oh yeah fuckers peace peace you actually i love that that night 0.99