Tower Gang - Ep 102 - Gigachad Behavior

00:00:00.420 What's up, retards?

00:00:01.920 The funniest 9-11 jokes were written on 9-12.

00:00:04.600 Women jerk off dicks like fucking they're unruly ferrets.

00:00:07.720 Yeah.

00:00:08.760 You ever had a 9-11 cocktail?

00:00:11.640 It's in Manhattan with two kamikazes.

00:00:13.800 Come in now.

00:00:16.040 You see, the socialists don't have an accurate answer for this, and she needs to account for it.

00:00:20.700 White women must be stopped.

00:00:22.700 That's right.

00:00:23.760 Yeah.

00:00:25.860 We can stay horny and retarded longer than she can stay sane.

00:00:30.000 Your ass-to-penis ratio.

00:00:32.960 Ben, maybe you could say we had sex, but we didn't fuck.

00:00:35.400 You said n***er.

00:00:36.520 Oh, Jesus.

00:00:37.640 Free!

00:00:39.280 Fat Dave, fuck you, man.

00:00:41.040 Free!

00:00:41.960 Free!

00:00:44.580 Welcome, everybody, to another livestream edition of Liberty Talk Tower Gang Podcast.

00:00:50.260 Fuck.

00:00:51.080 This is Clint Russell.

00:00:52.420 I am also the host of another show called Liberty Lockdown.

00:00:54.320 This is the collective lowest IQ that will ever be presented on TimCast IRL.

00:01:00.820 Liberty Talk.

00:01:01.040 Are you fucking ready for it?

00:01:02.420 Are you ready for it, you sons of bitches?

00:01:04.280 We got Darren James Toad.

00:01:05.580 He's a raging alcoholic, and he won't tell us his stories.

00:01:07.960 We got the fat, parentheses, her Dave.

00:01:11.960 Father.

00:01:12.760 Oh.

00:01:13.000 Oh, it's not working.

00:01:14.200 Yeah, you really did not.

00:01:16.280 I'm doing it on a fly.

00:01:17.680 He's my father now.

00:01:18.160 I'm doing it on a fly.

00:01:18.800 We got the host of No Way Jose.

00:01:19.980 Mr. Jose got us on, and the host of TopLobster.com, Mr. TopLobster.

00:01:23.880 Thank you for joining us, gentlemen.

00:01:25.260 Hell yeah.

00:01:25.620 And we are going to be on fucking TimCast.

00:01:27.180 It's fucking insane.

00:01:28.460 Insane.

00:01:29.320 I mean, after whoever just pulled that shenanigans at the beginning of the intro, I don't know

00:01:32.900 if it made it to the cut, but there we go.

00:01:36.580 Thanks.

00:01:36.960 There goes TimCast, guys.

00:01:39.620 I'm operating.

00:01:40.920 I'm operating.

00:01:41.120 I'm operating as if this is not going to happen, so whatever.

00:01:48.620 Smart.

00:01:49.240 Our impulse control is almost certainly going to derail this.

00:01:54.940 I mean, we already have Toad fucking trying to sandbag us to Tim Pool on Twitter today.

00:02:01.640 They haven't even booked our fucking flights yet, and Toad's in there like, well, he can't

00:02:06.380 come up with all the fucking racial slurs I can think of, and I'm like, what are you doing?

00:02:11.120 If they had on Nick Fuentes, they can't, if we are, I mean.

00:02:15.180 We're not fucking Nick Fuentes.

00:02:16.680 We're not a draw, bro.

00:02:18.200 Like, if he thinks he's going to lose his channel over having us.

00:02:21.200 Cole's like, if they had on Kanye West, they'll obviously have us on.

00:02:24.760 Well, what I'm saying is, though.

00:02:25.440 I see no difference.

00:02:28.020 Stand on your principles, bitch.

00:02:30.720 Silliest shit ever.

00:02:31.680 That's such a silly comparison.

00:02:32.600 Who would, who would, I mean, they had on, they had on Pete, I mean, Pete, I mean, has

00:02:36.660 said worse things than us, probably.

00:02:38.740 Yeah, but he's also kind of made more of a name of himself, and I, let's get real.

00:02:42.800 He has said worse things that he meant.

00:02:45.660 We, we have definitely said worse things.

00:02:47.820 Okay, there we go.

00:02:49.140 That's, that's, that's much better.

00:02:49.980 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:02:50.560 Yeah, that's a good way to put it.

00:02:51.860 We say a lot of awful shit.

00:02:53.860 And we are seriously joking.

00:02:55.980 Yeah, well, most of it's joking.

00:02:57.680 90% about the stuff, we're joking.

00:02:59.500 There's always a grain of truth in there.

00:03:01.680 I'm joking unless you take me serious, and it could actually hurt me, then I'm, then

00:03:05.480 I'm not joking.

00:03:06.420 Right.

00:03:06.780 Or the other way around.

00:03:07.720 No, I don't know.

00:03:10.200 If it hurts your feelings, I'm serious.

00:03:12.640 And if it doesn't, then I'm just joking.

00:03:14.880 Oh my God.

00:03:16.340 But yeah, apparently we are supposed to be on Timcast.

00:03:19.600 Well, two of us, or we're going to try for three, but in February, February 17th.

00:03:24.720 January.

00:03:25.160 January 17th.

00:03:25.980 January 17th, yeah.

00:03:27.660 Oh, that's right.

00:03:28.100 Your daughter's 13th birthday.

00:03:30.480 It's going to be, and right now we're thinking Top and Clint are going to be there, going

00:03:36.280 in our place.

00:03:37.640 And then hopefully we have gotten some preliminary talks about if they do good enough, if they

00:03:44.700 are cool enough to Tim Pool, which is.

00:03:47.540 They?

00:03:47.840 You mean you guys?

00:03:49.160 Yeah, I mean, if Clint Top.

00:03:52.840 He's already trying to divide terms so he doesn't have to accept their failure.

00:03:56.300 Well, I thought you were going with the Kanye joke.

00:03:58.600 Like, who is they?

00:03:59.640 I like how you split us up into teams of two, and Cole and I are the C team now.

00:04:04.560 Oh, yeah, yeah.

00:04:05.140 So that's all.

00:04:06.280 You've already proven me right.

00:04:07.640 Like, your impulse control is horrific.

00:04:10.300 If Clint Top do good enough, they will give us a second spot, in which we're going to

00:04:15.980 choose another two.

00:04:16.920 And we have chosen Jose and Reed, which, if Reed was in here, we could say something else

00:04:21.920 that has come up tonight.

00:04:22.960 But, and then if they do good enough again, I'm just going to say it.

00:04:27.860 He's in talks.

00:04:28.580 We'll see what happens.

00:04:29.180 Oh, dude.

00:04:29.700 And if they do good enough.

00:04:31.100 No, I'm not announcing anything.

00:04:32.560 I'm just saying he's in talks.

00:04:33.560 We'll see.

00:04:34.060 Yeah, yeah.

00:04:34.460 He's in talks.

00:04:34.920 If we get a third appearance, and then it's going to be me and Toad on TimCast.

00:04:39.140 But there was no talks about third appearance.

00:04:41.180 Let's be clear.

00:04:41.880 That's just like us.

00:04:42.980 Us just kind of hoping and praying.

00:04:45.740 Like, if we do a really good two in a row, we'll get a third.

00:04:47.940 There were going to be no talks.

00:04:49.940 I'm going to be in detox, so.

00:04:52.080 What the fuck does that even mean?

00:04:54.140 Is it just like a play on words just for the sake of it?

00:04:56.720 What are you doing?

00:04:58.560 What are you doing with the fucking?

00:05:00.340 A play on words is no joke involved.

00:05:02.720 You're just playing on words for no reason.

00:05:05.900 He's putting like an autistic and half-retarded Mark Gordon.

00:05:10.180 So he's just putting out, like, you know how Mark Gordon puts out wordplay?

00:05:13.820 Yeah, it's just wordplay, but it doesn't make sense at all in the comments.

00:05:18.440 Like, what?

00:05:19.420 It makes sense in my mind.

00:05:21.000 Dude, he's going to do that shit live in front of a million people, and I'm going to fucking die of embarrassment.

00:05:25.480 Oh, I – the – me and Toad together on TimCast would be the best show for our fans.

00:05:33.340 That's it.

00:05:33.740 Like, everybody else would absolutely hate it.

00:05:35.940 But our fans would be like, this is fucking hilarious.

00:05:38.820 Because I have already planned I would just treat it like a fucking Eric Andre skit or, like, whenever Mark Gordon would do, like, interviews and just totally sandbag the entire thing.

00:05:51.320 And just, like, like he did with the roast of – I can't remember whose roast it was.

00:05:55.220 And he was putting out terrible jokes the entire time.

00:05:57.540 And the people that got it thought it was really funny, but it was very few.

00:06:00.940 And so it would just be me on there, like, calling Toad Tim the entire time.

00:06:04.480 Doing performance comedy?

00:06:07.300 Do you think –

00:06:07.920 I would mix up Toad and Tim the entire time.

00:06:10.060 Well, yeah, and I'm going to be wearing a beanie.

00:06:12.480 Has there ever been a guest on Tim Pool that's more autistic than Toad?

00:06:17.180 Oh, God.

00:06:19.060 What – I'm trying to think.

00:06:20.320 There was –

00:06:21.200 Kanye?

00:06:21.980 I mean, like, Kanye is the only one I can think of.

00:06:24.160 By the way, I do think that is the best move.

00:06:26.360 Like, I originally thought you guys should go – like, if it's teams of three, Toad and Cole should go second.

00:06:32.020 But now, like, especially what you're saying, Cole, I actually think it's best if they have you guys go last.

00:06:37.240 Like, for one, it's kind of like we – obviously, there is some aspect to, like, Clint and Topp and Reid having bigger names.

00:06:43.300 But there also is the aspect of, like, now we get to rope-a-dope him in.

00:06:48.540 We're all more capable of, like, serious, like, you know, discussion.

00:06:54.180 I mean, not that you guys aren't.

00:06:55.220 But then you guys just do what you do, and they'll be like, what the fuck?

00:06:59.120 Like, tell me what it is.

00:07:01.820 You have Clinton Topp, and Clint is, like, you know, he's the money guy, and he does all this shit about, like, what they care about.

00:07:07.440 Topp is, I mean –

00:07:09.120 He's just instantly likable.

00:07:10.480 Yeah, yeah.

00:07:10.940 I mean, I feel like you and Ian and the cultural thing could work.

00:07:15.580 Jose and Reid could definitely be, like, the libertarian talk and, like, the agorist shit and they could do whatever.

00:07:21.100 And so they think, like, oh, these guys are actually, like, intellectual.

00:07:26.520 And then there's me and Toad, and Toad's autistic, and I'm retarded.

00:07:29.700 And then we're just on there just fucking, like –

00:07:32.320 I'm just smiling on there the whole time.

00:07:34.500 Cool.

00:07:34.900 Correct me if I'm wrong, though.

00:07:36.520 That's catfishing.

00:07:37.860 Cool.

00:07:38.280 Yeah, it is.

00:07:39.020 Well, we're both engineers, right?

00:07:40.900 And we both – I think we were both high school valedictorian.

00:07:43.660 Is that also correct?

00:07:44.360 I really do hope, though, that they let us go because I know there was, like, maybe hints that maybe we could get a third.

00:07:52.680 It would have to be at our own dime, which whatever.

00:07:54.800 We're all fine with that.

00:07:56.180 And we just do two teams of three.

00:07:58.380 Like, that would be phenomenal.

00:08:00.160 For one, opener mine, I was thinking about this.

00:08:02.320 Well, I guess Reid technically would probably end up getting two.

00:08:04.100 It hasn't been announced, but, you know.

00:08:05.860 And then we could do – I think the move would be Clint, Topp, and Cole.

00:08:10.820 And then followed up with me, Toad, and Reid.

00:08:13.000 Yeah, that would be the move.

00:08:14.800 Any combination involving –

00:08:16.560 Man, just putting Cole in the first lineup is dangerous.

00:08:19.440 That's what I'm saying.

00:08:20.760 Any combination of Cole and Toad, it doesn't matter where you put Cole or Toad.

00:08:28.040 We're going to derail the show because, number one, so Clint's going to stay on topic.

00:08:32.940 I want a joke.

00:08:34.120 I want a joke.

00:08:35.640 I want a joke.

00:08:36.220 Yes, and I can't resist it.

00:08:37.960 If Cole's in there fucking around, like, literally, Tim will fucking take his hat off

00:08:42.520 and storm out the room.

00:08:43.980 You guys should start practicing clean jokes in here.

00:08:47.180 Like, figure out a way to do –

00:08:48.500 I was thinking about we should do an actual clean show where we don't cuss at all

00:08:55.000 and just see if we can do it, which would be so hard.

00:08:57.720 I think it's funnier if the designated people going have to do clean,

00:09:01.580 and the rest just go wild as shit.

00:09:03.160 But then you have to –

00:09:03.580 That's a good idea.

00:09:04.220 Yeah.

00:09:04.940 That's a good idea.

00:09:05.700 Let's do that.

00:09:06.200 Well, all right, maybe –

00:09:07.580 Well, and also, the other thing is, like, we already –

00:09:11.140 anytime I – well, at least anytime I go on any other person's show,

00:09:15.200 and especially if we're together with any of us, we make it into a Tower Gang episode.

00:09:19.960 No matter whose podcast is – we were on Chrissy Mayer's podcast,

00:09:23.360 and, like, we made it, like – and this was months ago.

00:09:26.840 So, like –

00:09:27.180 This was almost –

00:09:27.880 It was probably a year ago or more.

00:09:29.000 Has there ever been a Tim cast that was actually, like, legitimately funny?

00:09:33.420 I think Alex Stein.

00:09:35.680 That's about it.

00:09:36.140 Yeah, Alex is Alex Stein for sure.

00:09:37.660 Yes.

00:09:38.060 I'm not going to lie.

00:09:39.340 It was funny in a different way, but, yeah.

00:09:40.920 It was funny as shit.

00:09:42.100 Are you talking about the most recent one where he got up on the stage?

00:09:45.260 Did you see that?

00:09:45.860 That was really funny.

00:09:46.780 Who?

00:09:47.580 Oh, you didn't see that?

00:09:48.800 Oh, Alex Stein, so he put on a mask.

00:09:50.740 We weren't talking about Alex, but go on.

00:09:52.820 Yeah, that was on Monday.

00:09:54.680 Yeah, no, yeah.

00:09:55.360 Alex Stein, they were at CPAC, and so he put on a mask and ran onto the stage.

00:10:00.660 He wasn't even on Tim cast.

00:10:02.280 He just did that from the audience.

00:10:03.180 No, yeah, yeah.

00:10:03.760 He did it because he hates Charlie Kirk, and so he went up there and, like, was trying

00:10:08.780 to troll Charlie Kirk.

00:10:09.860 It was fucking hilarious.

00:10:11.840 I don't hate Charlie Kirk, but his face is very tiny.

00:10:14.440 Dude, I love what Charlie Kirk means with the big head.

00:10:17.280 Yeah, but that's actually awesome because he's doing, like, pretty much the same thing

00:10:20.440 with the Gripers, too.

00:10:22.840 So they're going to lump Alex in with the Gripers.

00:10:26.560 I don't know if you need to lie.

00:10:27.320 Alex Stein.

00:10:27.580 Yeah.

00:10:28.120 Yeah.

00:10:28.720 I don't understand the reference.

00:10:31.200 That's true because Ian loves that shit.

00:10:33.720 Ian is pretty funny.

00:10:35.380 Oh, yeah.

00:10:35.880 It just shit all over.

00:10:36.680 Oh, my God.

00:10:37.520 Debunk everything?

00:10:38.940 Oh, my God.

00:10:39.380 Even if it's, like, not a legit debunk?

00:10:41.400 I'm going in there, and I'm just arguing that there's no way a Civil War happens.

00:10:45.160 Just to see.

00:10:45.480 Yeah, I'm arguing that, like, skating is actually the gayest sport.

00:10:52.260 Rollerblading's actually where it's at.

00:10:53.200 You can't say gay.

00:10:53.860 You have to call it effeminate.

00:10:55.240 There you go.

00:10:55.420 Oh, there you go.

00:10:55.980 Yeah, that's right.

00:10:57.240 Yeah, see?

00:10:58.180 That's what I was actually afraid of the most, when Toad would say faggot.

00:11:01.920 Toad could not help himself but say faggot.

00:11:04.100 I love that you think that he's going to be the one that says something.

00:11:07.660 I can control myself.

00:11:08.980 I can.

00:11:09.640 I can.

00:11:10.440 Man, he's a dad now.

00:11:11.920 He has two mobs.

00:11:12.740 Yeah, that's.

00:11:13.460 I still have conservative Christian parents and in-laws.

00:11:17.460 I have to do this every fucking day.

00:11:19.600 I have to control myself.

00:11:20.020 I can't swear in front of my parents.

00:11:21.960 Yeah, I think I can, too.

00:11:23.220 I just don't want to.

00:11:24.060 No, I can't.

00:11:24.700 You have to abide by the rules when you live in their basement, Toad.

00:11:27.340 Yes.

00:11:28.180 Yeah.

00:11:29.060 I cannot swear.

00:11:30.280 I can't swear in front of them, like, really, like, almost at all.

00:11:33.480 So I can turn on that switch.

00:11:35.800 You know what's funny?

00:11:36.680 I've done it for my whole life.

00:11:37.620 I didn't cuss in front of my parents for basically my entire adulthood.

00:11:42.080 And then my little brother, who's eight years younger than me, Colin, he started to just,

00:11:46.940 like, he would just say fuck in front of my mom constantly.

00:11:49.180 And I was like, and she just, she just accepted it.

00:11:52.400 And I was like, all right, well, I'm going to do this, too.

00:11:54.100 I don't know why I've been, like, holding off.

00:11:55.580 So, like, when I was, like, 35, I started to cuss in front of my mom.

00:12:00.120 So weird.

00:12:01.220 I've only, like, I think I've talked about it.

00:12:03.440 I've only cussed one time in front of my parents.

00:12:05.040 And I was, like, because I was, I was carving, I was, actually, it was for last Thanksgiving.

00:12:08.800 And I, like, was going to cook a turkey.

00:12:11.920 And then I.

00:12:12.580 Tell me it was hard ER, please.

00:12:14.240 Oh, that would be really, no.

00:12:16.900 They'd be like, good boy.

00:12:17.420 You never cussed and then you're just like, ah!

00:12:20.440 No, no, I was, like, you know, opening up the turkey.

00:12:22.580 Like Switzerland nuking somebody?

00:12:24.140 Like, what?

00:12:25.140 I was about to get ready for a salt brine on the turkey.

00:12:27.920 And I cut it open and it's still frozen.

00:12:30.040 And I just go, fuck!

00:12:31.060 And, like, I mean, I had headphones on and I was listening to a podcast.

00:12:34.900 And I was like, fuck!

00:12:35.580 And I look over and my mom is standing right there.

00:12:37.900 And I was like, oh, my bad.

00:12:39.240 Sorry.

00:12:40.060 I've slipped, like, a few times, I think.

00:12:41.860 Like, been on the phone with my mom while I'm, like, driving or something.

00:12:44.300 And some guy, like, cuts me off.

00:12:45.760 And I'm like, fuck you!

00:12:46.560 Oh, wait!

00:12:46.940 I mean, no!

00:12:48.400 Do you think we could, like, convince Tim to do Kiker Reich on the actual one?

00:12:52.700 No!

00:12:53.020 I don't think we could get him to play either version, let alone the harder one.

00:12:58.080 By the way, I have an actual idea.

00:13:00.780 Like, not a skip, but an idea that we can do.

00:13:03.620 So, at the end, when he reads his super chats, I say, excuse me, Tim, we have, like, a really big fan base.

00:13:10.620 And they send us super chats, but, like, it's hard written.

00:13:14.880 And just pull out a bag that looks like the mailbag.

00:13:17.660 Like, hairs.

00:13:18.360 I don't know what I'm going to get to the top.

00:13:20.060 A fucking nutsack.

00:13:21.360 But it's going to be, like, a field with rocks, so it'll be heavy as shit.

00:13:24.780 And I'll just toss it over to Clint.

00:13:26.160 Boom.

00:13:26.800 And there'll be only, like, one or two things written in crayon on there.

00:13:30.180 And they'll be obscene.

00:13:31.660 That's actually pretty fucking good.

00:13:34.060 I'm not going to lie.

00:13:34.980 Like, it looks like retarded mongoloids wrote it.

00:13:38.080 But, you know, oh, shit.

00:13:39.780 That can be a Patreon.

00:13:41.740 The $20 level.

00:13:43.340 You can get your, like, we can try.

00:13:45.280 We're going to.

00:13:46.000 You can maybe get your question asked.

00:13:48.100 Well, yeah.

00:13:48.940 We're going to try to do that bit.

00:13:50.120 Does anybody actually, like, because, Top, I feel like if you go on there, and let's just, like, make it a random thing.

00:13:56.260 I think Clint talked about it, about how we just say we're on Gas Digital.

00:13:59.400 And we just drop that over and over.

00:14:01.920 Like, promote podcastverse.com, promote Gas Digital.

00:14:05.760 And it's just, like, it's, like, a free advertisement.

00:14:08.860 Oh, my God.

00:14:09.360 I'm doing it.

00:14:10.140 I just want to be very clear.

00:14:11.680 I do plan to do that.

00:14:13.740 Enough to where, like, say it enough to where they have to say something to us after the show.

00:14:18.720 They're like, what the fuck was that?

00:14:20.720 Like, come on.

00:14:22.440 No, no, no.

00:14:24.080 I'm not going to that extent.

00:14:25.360 I just want a clip that I can fucking put out on Twitter afterwards and be like, well, you know, shout out to Louis for signing us.

00:14:31.000 Like, I didn't think you'd come through.

00:14:33.620 I think you should do it.

00:14:35.800 They would love it.

00:14:36.760 They would think it's a fucking good thing.

00:14:37.940 Even if they don't sign us, he'll love the fucking marketing.

00:14:40.280 He's going to call me directly and be like, what are you doing?

00:14:44.160 You should say that we are the most offensive podcast on Gas Digital.

00:14:48.820 Yes.

00:14:49.080 Oh, of course.

00:14:50.380 I'll be like, because Dave Smith is now a father of two, they needed to replace their lineup with an actually offensive podcast.

00:14:58.120 So they signed Tower Gang and then just, like, shit all over.

00:15:00.820 Dude, that is how you need to intro the show.

00:15:03.140 Be like, this just in.

00:15:04.400 We're signed by.

00:15:05.520 Dead serious.

00:15:06.440 Like, don't fucking crack a smile.

00:15:08.040 I already know how I'm introducing myself.

00:15:10.900 I already have it all planned out.

00:15:12.940 And I just hope Luke Rutkowski is there.

00:15:15.920 Let's just say that.

00:15:17.240 That's what I'm wondering is how you're going to, like, because apparently it would be Luke and Ian and Tim.

00:15:24.080 It would be the three.

00:15:24.840 Top is going to say something like the Jews.

00:15:26.380 Top of some weird deep beef, personal beef with, like, Rutkowski that we don't know about.

00:15:32.420 Top just doesn't like any of the mainstream libertarian guys.

00:15:35.040 There's this tinge of, like, personal hatred that I feel.

00:15:38.180 Top doesn't like any of the mainstream libertarian guys.

00:15:43.200 Look, I have the same ex, which is concerning.

00:15:45.900 That's true.

00:15:46.460 Oh, I didn't do that.

00:15:47.720 You could be Eskimo, bro.

00:15:49.120 You should bring that up on the couch.

00:15:51.080 When I was on last time, I hadn't even met her.

00:15:58.200 So, like, that's true.

00:15:58.980 You need to drop that in there randomly.

00:16:00.600 Just be like, Luke.

00:16:02.740 One of the things we cover on Tower Power Hour.

00:16:05.040 I can understand how you feel right now.

00:16:06.180 Yeah, I can be like, dude, the last time I was here, I wasn't even Eskimo Brothers with Luke.

00:16:12.540 Just say it.

00:16:13.460 So, on Tower Gang, we like to ask, what is gay and what is not gay often?

00:16:18.180 And since me and you fucked the same girl and our penis was in the same spot, is it gay?

00:16:23.780 Is it even like penises right now?

00:16:25.320 I mean, it's obviously not fully gay, but is it, like, 5% gay?

00:16:28.360 What's, like, the time window that you have there for that to not be gay?

00:16:31.960 Like, your penis being in the same spot?

00:16:33.880 Because your penis is in the same spot as another guy's if you take a piss right after him.

00:16:37.400 So, is that gay?

00:16:38.760 We can get autistic about it, but in reality, you could have both penises in at the same time.

00:16:43.300 I don't think it's gay.

00:16:44.400 Yeah.

00:16:45.040 If it's not gay, it's weird.

00:16:47.040 As long as the penises don't touch.

00:16:48.760 Yeah, if it's in a woman.

00:16:49.700 Same hole, still not gay.

00:16:50.460 It cannot be gay.

00:16:51.560 It's completely heterosexual.

00:16:52.940 It doesn't matter.

00:16:53.420 I'm going to have to really ponder.

00:16:54.280 Although, theoretically, in that situation, you are using the penis partially to jerk you off, essentially.

00:17:01.460 Oh, yeah, yeah.

00:17:02.020 It's rubbish.

00:17:02.840 Yeah.

00:17:03.320 So, I guess that might be some sort of weird loophole where it is gay.

00:17:06.180 If you're double penetrating, you will feel his penis.

00:17:10.400 Oh, yeah, through the wall.

00:17:11.540 Oh, yes.

00:17:12.200 Yeah.

00:17:13.260 Through the perennium or whatever it's called?

00:17:15.340 Yeah.

00:17:15.640 That's a good point.

00:17:17.440 Ask him his ass-to-penis ratio.

00:17:20.180 Oh.

00:17:20.680 Oh.

00:17:21.040 I feel like he doesn't have an ass.

00:17:23.220 So, I feel like it would be a very on the high penis ratio.

00:17:26.720 I've only ever seen him waist up.

00:17:29.220 As I've said, my ratio is infinite because I have no ass.

00:17:32.360 Is he a dog?

00:17:32.920 Is he like a coal?

00:17:35.880 Where you meet him in person and you're like, holy shit.

00:17:37.960 I did not expect this much ass.

00:17:40.580 Is the whole house-

00:17:41.700 Are we talking about him?

00:17:42.880 Very unlikely.

00:17:43.460 No, no.

00:17:43.740 About Tim.

00:17:44.760 Oh, Tim?

00:17:45.600 Very unlikely.

00:17:46.200 I don't feel like he has a dumpy on him.

00:17:48.140 No, he's not.

00:17:48.640 No.

00:17:49.040 No way.

00:17:49.660 No.

00:17:50.200 I feel like he's a normal-

00:17:51.060 He's like a thin dude.

00:17:51.880 Does the whole house smell like-

00:17:54.100 Like, are people wearing shoes?

00:17:55.620 Like Asian food?

00:17:56.960 Is that weird?

00:17:57.300 No, it doesn't smell at all.

00:17:59.440 It's like a white person's house.

00:18:00.840 I feel like, I feel like Top actually, I feel like Top actually would enjoy like talking

00:18:06.000 about chickens with them.

00:18:07.180 Cause I feel, I know that like they have chickens.

00:18:08.620 And so I feel like Top would just be like really into that.

00:18:10.820 He'd be like, yeah, I have meat chickens and all that.

00:18:12.660 Like he just starts talking about it.

00:18:13.760 Like you, you want to get goats?

00:18:14.920 Cause I want to get goats.

00:18:15.800 I think the most important thing is that we pretend that we are on our own platform that

00:18:21.300 they're unaware of so that we can just lie about our viewer, like our viewership.

00:18:25.340 Cause like if they look at any platform and they're like, they're like 500 views, what

00:18:30.280 the fuck is this?

00:18:34.540 Why the fuck are we having them on?

00:18:36.560 This is insane.

00:18:37.840 They're going to blow up our channel for no fucking-

00:18:39.340 It's not as bad as Clint's making it sound, but most of the platforms you would go to that

00:18:43.780 show view counts don't look favorably bought us.

00:18:46.880 Okay, Cole left and he was the only witness to that story.

00:18:51.600 So I-

00:18:52.240 Wow, you're really thinking about that, huh?

00:18:54.240 Yeah, that's right.

00:18:55.020 Get Cole back in here immediately.

00:18:56.920 Let's do the mail back.

00:18:58.080 Tell our audience what we're not talking about.

00:19:00.700 I'm not going to tell you.

00:19:01.580 I wasn't even there, so I don't even know.

00:19:03.360 You were fucking there.

00:19:04.500 I wasn't there mentally in any capacity.

00:19:06.540 This is comedy gold and I think you should do it, but you know, I don't know.

00:19:09.900 So, all right, I'm a little disappointed.

00:19:11.380 Dude, do you want me to tell the story as I think that it has?

00:19:14.460 Yes, tell the story, and especially while Cole's out.

00:19:17.320 For some reason, that's funnier because he may not know what I said.

00:19:20.420 And we can ask him what he thought happened after you give his take.

00:19:24.120 For the record, this is Tom Woods 2000, so go ahead.

00:19:26.320 Yeah, so at this point, I had been sober for like four and a half months or something.

00:19:30.140 So going from that into drinking extremely heavily, not a good idea at all.

00:19:35.000 This night was the drunkest I've ever been in my life.

00:19:37.900 Like I – there's no other circumstance where like any of these things happen, not even remotely, even though I've been pretty shit-faced before many times.

00:19:46.640 I'm like, you know, niche micro celebrity here.

00:19:49.520 Cole and I, you know, show up to the bar there in the back near the pool.

00:19:53.540 This is the night before the event.

00:19:55.360 Like Pete Quinonez is there and hanging out.

00:19:57.440 He's like, hey, it's Tower Gang.

00:19:59.040 Like the whole crowd is like –

00:20:00.020 Before he docks Clint.

00:20:02.580 Yeah, this is before –

00:20:02.900 Like a month prior.

00:20:04.320 Yeah, basically, yeah.

00:20:05.580 Two months.

00:20:06.020 His woman did it.

00:20:07.520 He just did not have accurate control of his woman.

00:20:09.380 Yeah, so, you know, like this is like the most, I don't know, like crowd reaction that I've ever had probably from this show.

00:20:17.640 It was me and Cole and everybody wanted to talk to us, hang out with us.

00:20:20.500 They're buying us drinks.

00:20:21.460 So I got like the 9-11 cocktail.

00:20:23.260 Everybody saw that picture.

00:20:24.780 Everybody's like, oh, shit, Toad is drinking again.

00:20:26.560 Yes, I never should have started drinking again.

00:20:29.120 And I'm currently, again, sober for I think six months at this point.

00:20:33.220 And it only had like – I only drank like four times during the entire span since I decided to go sober.

00:20:39.220 But this was terrible.

00:20:41.180 So I was definitely drunk.

00:20:43.900 But this like really catches up to you.

00:20:45.480 That 9-11 cocktail and then following it up with like old fashions and all this other hard shit.

00:20:49.880 You're drinking that fast and you're not used to it anymore.

00:20:52.400 That shit catches up to you fast.

00:20:54.640 So at some point, basically what happened was like I went back to – are we saying names here or are we not?

00:21:04.300 I would leave out names.

00:21:05.960 Cole said he was down.

00:21:07.200 Maybe like Liz.

00:21:08.280 But any other names, you should probably leave out.

00:21:10.000 All right, there was this other woman.

00:21:11.180 We're not going to say who it was.

00:21:12.920 It got to a point where it was like I wound up being like, yeah, I'm going to go back to her room.

00:21:18.420 I'm not really thinking this through totally with her and Cole's wife and then later by a little bit, Cole.

00:21:26.400 So I'm thinking like I don't know what's going to happen here.

00:21:28.480 Like is this going to become like a foursome?

00:21:31.600 Like what the hell is going to happen here?

00:21:33.860 I don't know what's happening.

00:21:36.060 Dude, the chick whose room this was, she was down.

00:21:40.740 She definitely wanted to do it.

00:21:42.000 Problem was I was getting increasingly drunk.

00:21:44.660 I was getting way too drunk.

00:21:45.960 So the last thing I remember is being in the room with the two women.

00:21:50.620 Cole wasn't there yet.

00:21:52.140 And I think they were trying to like get something started.

00:21:55.120 I'm not really sure.

00:21:56.220 And I was deciding I'm not going to do this.

00:22:00.000 I'm not in the right mental state to do this.

00:22:03.680 Yeah.

00:22:04.420 Not today, Satan.

00:22:07.020 Exactly.

00:22:07.740 Exactly.

00:22:08.380 Dave Smith raped.

00:22:09.300 You know, Dave Smith wasn't there that time.

00:22:10.560 You've got to be kidding me.

00:22:11.400 You've never had sex and you have two girls that are down to fuck and you're too drunk for it?

00:22:15.380 This is the saddest story I've ever heard in my life.

00:22:17.220 All right.

00:22:18.140 Real quick.

00:22:18.860 Okay.

00:22:19.100 Cole's back.

00:22:19.580 Okay, wait.

00:22:20.240 We have to finish Cole.

00:22:20.980 I want to point out what Cole wanted to do.

00:22:22.840 He wanted to go take his dog out.

00:22:24.660 Yeah, yeah.

00:22:25.320 My wife texted me.

00:22:26.860 Motherfucker is just, this is how little he gives a shit.

00:22:28.940 No, no, no, no.

00:22:29.960 Let me finish this.

00:22:30.480 My wife is trying to feed my son and then she texted me and said, my dog is freaking out

00:22:35.500 on, because he just like, well, this is my cripple.

00:22:37.460 You can see him actually right there.

00:22:38.760 Oh, he's grinding his ass.

00:22:39.560 Let me finish the story.

00:22:40.180 Oh, he's because he's a fucking cripple.

00:22:41.700 He can't, he can't use his back legs.

00:22:43.480 And so he was on the couch and he had already pissed all over our floor today.

00:22:47.640 Oh, jeez.

00:22:48.180 Cole, Cole, Cole, Cole, I'm going to need you to shut up because Toad is finally telling us

00:22:52.420 the story.

00:22:52.800 Cole has a, Cole has a weird dog.

00:22:54.320 You get to tell what really you think.

00:22:55.820 Cole has a weird dog, so, okay.

00:22:57.580 So, that's literally what I just told you.

00:23:01.380 That is the last thing I remember.

00:23:02.660 I don't remember anything happening at all.

00:23:04.240 And then the next thing I remember, I woke up wearing like piss jeans, basically.

00:23:11.120 It happens the best of us.

00:23:13.120 This is the only time that I've ever.

00:23:14.500 What did you remember last, like going back to the hotel room and falling asleep?

00:23:17.760 Yes.

00:23:18.640 Okay.

00:23:18.840 Well, I don't remember falling asleep, no.

00:23:20.820 Let me just recap it real quick.

00:23:22.460 So, he gets back to the room.

00:23:23.420 It's just.

00:23:23.680 You're such a better story, Tyler.

00:23:25.020 Thank you.

00:23:25.360 I lost all of it.

00:23:28.300 It's just him, Liz, and a nameless girl.

00:23:31.560 If you want to name her, that's up to you.

00:23:32.960 And he says that they're like trying to get something started.

00:23:35.580 He thinks that like you guys might have a foursome.

00:23:38.700 He's like trying to decide whether or not he's going to get involved.

00:23:41.300 I remember Liz called Cole and I remember him coming back to the room.

00:23:45.400 So, I remember that too.

00:23:46.720 Okay.

00:23:47.020 So, you do remember him getting there.

00:23:48.300 Yeah.

00:23:48.440 That's like the last thing I remember, I believe.

00:23:51.580 And then the next thing I remember, yeah.

00:23:52.900 I woke up, as I said, in piss jeans.

00:23:55.940 Like I said, and then later.

00:23:57.380 Did you piss yourself?

00:23:58.240 Who pissed on what?

00:24:00.440 I don't know.

00:24:01.520 She had a great golden shower.

00:24:02.560 It was amazing.

00:24:03.160 I love that.

00:24:04.560 I'm not sure.

00:24:05.560 Could have been anybody.

00:24:06.100 What I picked up from what Liz told me, what I picked up later was that.

00:24:10.280 What?

00:24:11.140 Was that.

00:24:11.520 Let him finish.

00:24:12.400 I feel like it's funnier if you both get to tell your side.

00:24:16.020 Don't try to course correct his narrative.

00:24:18.620 Let him present it.

00:24:20.160 So, what she told me was that.

00:24:22.880 Yeah.

00:24:23.360 So, I was like pretty much blacked out out of it.

00:24:25.460 I'm like out for the count or almost to that effect.

00:24:28.840 The three of you had a threesome of some kind.

00:24:31.780 Like, I was watching it and jerking off.

00:24:35.600 And it's something I pissed myself.

00:24:40.320 Yes.

00:24:41.080 What?

00:24:41.840 What?

00:24:42.820 Yes.

00:24:44.580 No, you did not.

00:24:46.980 Absolute fucking legend.

00:24:51.060 Let's fucking go.

00:24:52.320 That's it.

00:24:53.400 Okay.

00:24:54.120 Okay.

00:24:54.440 I'll tell the story now.

00:24:55.700 So, I do want to, I do want to, again, Toad may have already done this.

00:25:02.700 Hold on, hold on, hold on.

00:25:04.100 I just, this show, Toad.

00:25:04.960 Let me, let me just say how proud I am.

00:25:06.760 Let me just say how proud I am for Toad for owning that.

00:25:09.340 Because I did not, I did not think you were going to say that.

00:25:11.900 That's crazy.

00:25:12.440 Okay, giga chat.

00:25:13.240 I'm telling you.

00:25:14.340 Okay.

00:25:15.160 Full, full odyssey, Cole already told us.

00:25:17.520 And so, like, I think we've been screwing on this.

00:25:19.820 We're just trying to convince you to be okay with it.

00:25:21.560 I have your back.

00:25:22.900 I legit have your back.

00:25:24.580 We were not going to say it.

00:25:25.780 I think it was the coolest fucking thing I've ever heard.

00:25:28.340 Okay, okay.

00:25:29.340 Well, maybe not the coolest, but it's up there.

00:25:31.460 I want to preface this with Toad was pissed, blackout drunk.

00:25:35.520 Yeah.

00:25:35.780 Like, I have, it was, and he did not have control of his actions.

00:25:41.020 Alcohol did.

00:25:41.800 That's right.

00:25:42.240 I had 12 shots, man.

00:25:43.360 Dave Smith was there.

00:25:44.700 And so, I do not hold anything against Toad.

00:25:47.240 Oh, wait, Dave wasn't there.

00:25:50.280 Well, who the fuck knows at this point?

00:25:51.860 I want to say one point to put on the table.

00:25:54.880 I feel like if you are in a room with another person, and you start fucking, and there's

00:26:01.400 another person there, it's implied they're allowed to watch.

00:26:04.080 Whatever the fuck watches, like, you should be responsible enough to not, like, you're

00:26:07.360 sending weird mixed signals.

00:26:09.000 You know what I mean?

00:26:09.500 Like, if you're, like, fucking in the same room as someone else.

00:26:11.840 Okay.

00:26:12.340 You know what I mean?

00:26:13.060 Let me ask you, why did you, like, so.

00:26:14.520 Why did the fucking start?

00:26:17.500 Okay, okay, listen, listen.

00:26:19.040 Yeah, yeah, I want to know.

00:26:19.980 I'll tell my side of the story.

00:26:21.580 So, I get a text.

00:26:21.880 Did you just look at Liz and say, like, let's just do some fucking crazy shit right here in

00:26:25.980 front of everybody?

00:26:26.600 Well, basically, I mean, I have a feeling Cole was following.

00:26:30.500 And I was drunk as well.

00:26:31.860 Yeah, we were all drunk.

00:26:32.440 Everyone was drunk.

00:26:32.760 And so, I get back up to the room, and, like, I was just planning on going to bed, because

00:26:37.080 it was already late.

00:26:37.980 I had already been drinking.

00:26:39.260 It was a great night, anyway.

00:26:40.760 And then, you know, you don't have it with your wife.

00:26:42.280 You start making out, whatever.

00:26:43.380 Was this the night that Liz yelled at Ashton?

00:26:46.760 No, no, that was the night before.

00:26:48.340 Oh, okay.

00:26:49.080 That was the night before.

00:26:51.400 And so, we start going at it.

00:26:53.460 Liz is pretty cool.

00:26:54.140 The more I get in the door, the cooler I'm like, all right.

00:26:56.100 And I'm guessing Elizabeth had already talked to the other woman about something.

00:27:00.280 Because, all of a sudden, she starts coming over into the bed.

00:27:05.200 Well, also, I think she was going to fuck me, and I was completely out of it.

00:27:08.620 Pull up David Brady's comment.

00:27:10.140 Gotta fuck somebody.

00:27:13.380 Yo, for the listeners, David Brady says, Toad got cucked in his own force.

00:27:23.840 I had no idea this was going to happen.

00:27:26.460 This is Tim Cash material.

00:27:27.880 I don't know what you guys are talking about.

00:27:29.520 And so, I'm, you know, I'm doing my thing.

00:27:33.520 I'm going.

00:27:34.480 And then another lady comes up.

00:27:35.880 And I was like, okay, well, I guess this is happening.

00:27:38.140 And so, she joins.

00:27:39.900 And so, we're going.

00:27:40.920 And, you know, I'm just fucking, I'm going.

00:27:43.080 And I look over.

00:27:43.920 And I lock eyes with Toad.

00:27:45.740 Just fucking.

00:27:46.400 Yeah.

00:27:46.960 Just going to town, man.

00:27:49.260 Just fucking.

00:27:50.320 And I was like, all right.

00:27:52.000 That's what's going on tonight.

00:27:53.000 That's.

00:27:54.280 What was he looking at?

00:27:55.600 He was looking.

00:27:56.260 He locked eyes with you.

00:27:57.640 Oh, yeah.

00:27:58.300 Yeah.

00:27:58.620 I think he locked eyes with Elizabeth, too.

00:28:00.200 I think Elizabeth has said that she also stopped.

00:28:02.920 No, no, no.

00:28:03.580 I like it better thinking that Toad is jerking off looking at you.

00:28:07.460 There's a threesome happening in front of him.

00:28:09.100 And he's like, I don't know.

00:28:09.740 I want to look at this guy.

00:28:10.580 And then Cole pulled the American Psycho.

00:28:12.640 Oh, that's what I'm saying.

00:28:14.160 I did like.

00:28:14.800 You know what, though?

00:28:15.560 That's true love, though.

00:28:16.400 You open up your hips.

00:28:16.820 You open up your hips.

00:28:17.580 And you're just like, yeah.

00:28:18.140 You want to get the good shot?

00:28:19.700 It's not even gay.

00:28:20.500 We just love her.

00:28:21.460 This is when Cole was still a little chubby.

00:28:24.720 And he was still in that hard eye contact with you, man.

00:28:27.360 I like that, man.

00:28:28.320 You're a real one, Toad.

00:28:30.020 And so I'm going.

00:28:31.360 And he's like, out of respect.

00:28:32.820 Because that's your wife, dog.

00:28:33.860 So I'm going to look at you.

00:28:35.000 Well, you see.

00:28:35.580 Here's what I was doing.

00:28:36.900 This was the implied high five that I was giving Cole.

00:28:40.480 Like, fuck yeah, bro.

00:28:42.560 I respect.

00:28:43.920 Honestly, I went up.

00:28:45.100 So you just jerk off.

00:28:45.960 I wish you would have given me a high five instead.

00:28:48.940 I had a high five.

00:28:51.000 The way I see it from your head, you got blackout fucking drunk.

00:28:55.920 You woke up fucking.

00:28:57.860 People are fucking in front of you.

00:28:59.580 And you're just like.

00:29:00.300 I feel like if you wake up in that situation.

00:29:01.820 Pretty much.

00:29:02.380 Three people are fucking.

00:29:03.880 And like.

00:29:05.080 Yeah, fight or flight.

00:29:06.160 And one of them's married.

00:29:07.200 You're probably like.

00:29:08.240 You're probably like.

00:29:09.180 I'm probably not getting in on this action.

00:29:11.340 But.

00:29:13.040 It's fight or flight.

00:29:14.160 It's come or run.

00:29:15.220 You got to choose.

00:29:15.960 So.

00:29:16.420 Yeah.

00:29:17.320 Do you.

00:29:17.700 I think.

00:29:18.160 I think.

00:29:18.520 I think.

00:29:18.940 I think.

00:29:19.000 I think.

00:29:19.020 I think.

00:29:20.000 I think the women were down to like involve me in some way, but it was like, you know,

00:29:24.600 I was.

00:29:27.500 I've already built up a narrative to defend you and you're breaking it down here, Toad.

00:29:32.980 It makes me feel so much better.

00:29:34.920 It makes me feel so much better having Toad say that.

00:29:37.580 But like.

00:29:37.980 I don't think that was ever in the plan to be fair, I think things just happened.

00:29:49.500 Holy shit.

00:29:50.160 I think.

00:29:51.960 I love Toad so much.

00:29:52.700 All right.

00:29:52.880 All right.

00:29:52.960 All right.

00:29:53.180 All right.

00:29:53.200 I know you're blackout drunk at this point, but the lodge, what's the logic?

00:29:56.420 No, no, no.

00:29:56.820 I do want to ask.

00:29:57.360 You are you.

00:29:58.000 Because I don't know.

00:29:58.720 Because I don't know if this happened.

00:30:00.180 Toad, did you come?

00:30:01.000 Do you know if you came or not?

00:30:02.080 No, I don't remember any of this at all.

00:30:03.720 Because I don't remember.

00:30:04.800 I never looked over to Steve.

00:30:06.280 Was there blood on the floor?

00:30:08.180 No.

00:30:09.640 But I pissed my pants, so yes.

00:30:13.060 I just want to recap the situation in my head.

00:30:17.060 I was going to get on to the next thing.

00:30:19.480 He fucking got.

00:30:20.180 He woke up to a threesome, jerked one out, fucking passed back out, woke up, pissed in the middle

00:30:25.840 of the floor, and went back to sleep.

00:30:27.120 That is like kick and chad behavior.

00:30:28.700 That's what I want to get to.

00:30:31.440 This is like Osborne.

00:30:32.820 The threesome finish.

00:30:33.720 Everybody who's saying this is cuck behavior, you're fucking stupid, you're ginger, you're

00:30:38.140 17.

00:30:39.080 This is giga chad shit.

00:30:41.180 I want to say this.

00:30:41.860 You've never done this.

00:30:42.500 You never will do this.

00:30:43.860 The threesome ends, okay?

00:30:45.880 We're done.

00:30:47.160 All of us are good, orgasms, whatever.

00:30:48.920 How did you finish?

00:30:50.580 I mean, I nutted, man.

00:30:52.280 Did you get both the women off?

00:30:54.700 They're like, no.

00:30:55.900 I mean, of course not.

00:30:59.740 Let's be realistic.

00:31:01.280 Let's be realistic about me.

00:31:02.700 I don't give a fuck.

00:31:04.260 The threesome with me is just doubling the amount of women that I'm going to disappoint.

00:31:08.240 Oh, no.

00:31:09.160 Oh, no.

00:31:10.260 See, I disappointed no women, so there you go.

00:31:12.640 No, that's true.

00:31:13.200 You didn't.

00:31:14.140 I don't know.

00:31:14.800 They made me a little bit disappointed.

00:31:15.960 They looked over and saw you jerked off.

00:31:17.960 Wait till your mom sees this episode.

00:31:21.100 They invited me back to the room, man.

00:31:22.680 So, we finish.

00:31:24.200 Whatever.

00:31:24.560 Okay.

00:31:25.040 So, we're all going back to sleep.

00:31:26.280 So, we go to sleep.

00:31:27.940 I wake up, and I'm pretty sure – maybe Elizabeth woke me up, or maybe I woke up.

00:31:32.160 Wait.

00:31:32.300 Hold on.

00:31:32.800 Exactly.

00:31:33.140 You guys – were you guys sharing a room?

00:31:35.200 Is this what was going on?

00:31:36.100 It was a double queen bed.

00:31:38.320 So, it was like two queen beds.

00:31:40.480 So, I was –

00:31:41.200 Wait.

00:31:42.360 So, Toe's not on the floor?

00:31:43.760 No.

00:31:44.220 No.

00:31:44.780 He's in a bed.

00:31:45.500 In the other bed.

00:31:46.380 Oh.

00:31:46.820 I thought he was like on the – I envisioned you being on the floor in the corner.

00:31:50.980 No.

00:31:51.420 I'm such a chad that I took over the entire bed and gave the three of them the other bed.

00:31:56.400 But the other girl is just an invite.

00:31:59.080 She's not in the –

00:31:59.760 No.

00:31:59.960 It was her room.

00:32:00.640 It was her room.

00:32:01.280 She invited me.

00:32:02.440 She invited us.

00:32:03.080 I told you.

00:32:03.900 Wait.

00:32:04.180 So, all three of you were staying in this girl's room?

00:32:07.380 Yes.

00:32:07.680 Yeah.

00:32:08.300 Okay.

00:32:09.000 Okay.

00:32:09.560 And –

00:32:10.400 This girl, I bet you she legit probably was like, you know what?

00:32:13.660 I'll let Toe jerk off to this.

00:32:15.000 Like, the way her mind works.

00:32:16.140 Oh, if I know her, yes.

00:32:17.860 Yeah.

00:32:18.240 Yeah.

00:32:18.660 100%.

00:32:19.020 But so, in the middle of the night, we go back to sleep.

00:32:22.480 We do more than that.

00:32:23.060 We go back to sleep.

00:32:24.460 Okay.

00:32:25.140 That just happened.

00:32:26.060 We just all –

00:32:26.580 I love how defensive he's getting.

00:32:28.640 I'm actually having a memory now that I need to tell the story after.

00:32:31.500 Go ahead.

00:32:32.000 Oh, my God.

00:32:32.560 So, we wake up in the middle of the night, and it just hears, like, water running.

00:32:36.660 And I think Elizabeth, like, woke me up.

00:32:38.580 And I look over, and Toe is just standing – like, he was on the outside of the bed close

00:32:42.640 to the window.

00:32:43.360 So, he just stands up, pulls down his pants, pisses on the floor.

00:32:47.520 I mean, just like –

00:32:48.140 You know what I think?

00:32:50.060 Can I explain this quickly?

00:32:51.300 No, I want to finish.

00:32:52.300 I want to finish.

00:32:53.480 Because, okay, so he pisses all over the floor.

00:32:55.300 Wait, wait, wait.

00:32:55.860 Do you remember or not, Toe?

00:32:57.400 Because now you're going to tell us what happened.

00:32:59.280 He's like, no, I've got to correct you here, bud.

00:33:01.020 No, no, no, no.

00:33:01.720 This is why I think I did this.

00:33:04.320 I can explain.

00:33:05.420 Okay, but I'm going to finish this.

00:33:06.900 So, he just pisses on the floor, pulls up his pants.

00:33:10.340 I'm going to let you finish, but Cole has the best story of all time.

00:33:14.340 He pisses on the floor, pulls back up his pants, gets right back in the bed, fast asleep.

00:33:18.780 Just gone out.

00:33:19.740 And then we're just looking around.

00:33:20.960 And the other woman is with him in the bed.

00:33:23.660 She's like, he's wet.

00:33:24.880 Like, I'm in the bed with him.

00:33:26.860 And so, she was like, I guess –

00:33:28.720 So, she goes and she cleans it up at that time.

00:33:31.880 She goes and fucking starts cleaning it up.

00:33:34.040 And he's out.

00:33:35.320 And so –

00:33:35.660 Dude, giga chat, baby.

00:33:37.280 Dude, I'm dead.

00:33:39.180 I have to redrew a Toad as, like, giga chat because this is –

00:33:43.960 Listen, we're trying to act like this is asinine.

00:33:47.000 And, like, it's not even, like, to joke on Toad.

00:33:50.180 This is –

00:33:50.660 All the other shit that you've done the last 101 episodes have been fucking gay.

00:33:54.740 This is the best shit that you ever did.

00:33:58.000 You just pissed on the floor after you jerked off to this girl.

00:34:01.600 And then basically said, you clean it up.

00:34:04.320 I love it.

00:34:05.460 You didn't even say clean it up.

00:34:06.420 He was just like, she will clean it up.

00:34:08.180 I'm going to go back to sleep.

00:34:09.280 It's not my problem.

00:34:11.260 That's how little he cared.

00:34:12.840 Do you know how weird it is that, like, you're so drunk that you can't get to the toilet?

00:34:17.080 But you're not drunk enough that you just pissed yourself while you're sleeping?

00:34:20.000 I don't understand that balance.

00:34:21.940 I guess he did piss himself a little bit because his pants were wet.

00:34:25.080 Because in the morning – so he wakes up.

00:34:26.800 Yeah, they were wet.

00:34:27.940 Well, he probably dropped his pants and then just pissed on his pants.

00:34:30.780 Maybe that is what happened.

00:34:31.860 And so that morning he wakes up.

00:34:33.420 He gets out of bed.

00:34:34.220 And it's, like, wet.

00:34:34.840 His pants are wet.

00:34:35.400 He's like, what happened?

00:34:36.200 And we're like, Toad, last night you pissed yourself.

00:34:39.740 Oh, you forgot the last thing, though, because I was like, oh, fuck.

00:34:43.260 I missed all that.

00:34:43.700 Tell me you shit on the ground, too.

00:34:45.560 No, I did not shit.

00:34:47.200 No, but after I got up in the morning I was like, yeah, oh, shit, I missed all that.

00:34:51.340 Then she let me suck her titty.

00:34:53.100 So there you go.

00:34:53.640 That is true.

00:34:54.460 That did happen.

00:34:55.440 That's so fucking crazy.

00:34:56.760 I'd be so repulsed by you.

00:34:59.480 What the fuck is wrong with this woman?

00:35:01.460 Sorry, I won't fuck you, but you can suck on my nipple a little bit.

00:35:04.080 No, like I said, I'm pretty sure she would.

00:35:06.780 But it was just – it was so funny because he was so flabbergasted.

00:35:11.460 He was just like, I've never done this before.

00:35:14.780 I've never – he kept telling us, like, I swear to God I've never done this.

00:35:17.980 And we're like, dude, we don't care if you've done it before.

00:35:19.780 Piss on the floor.

00:35:20.560 I've sucked a titty before.

00:35:21.700 Yes.

00:35:22.100 Yeah, yeah, the pissing on the floor.

00:35:23.340 I was like, how did you care if you've done it before?

00:35:25.080 You did it last night.

00:35:26.060 It doesn't – like, we think it's hilarious.

00:35:26.900 How did the sucking of the titty thing happen?

00:35:29.080 How did this go down?

00:35:31.060 I don't even know.

00:35:32.180 I was just like, oh, fuck.

00:35:33.180 I missed all that?

00:35:34.020 I was like, come on.

00:35:34.800 Then she just whipped it out.

00:35:36.000 I'm like, all right, let's go.

00:35:37.040 After all that flagrant behavior and he still is demanding of a titty after that?

00:35:41.820 Well, she probably thought he was an asshole child.

00:35:43.740 I didn't want the titty.

00:35:45.080 She was like, he pisses on himself and, like, he's bald.

00:35:49.980 He's a child and he just needs his milk.

00:35:52.060 And that's what she –

00:35:53.120 The logic checks.

00:35:57.040 That's right.

00:35:58.040 So let me explain the one thing, though, what I think happened because if you think about where this bed was.

00:36:03.220 So the window – so I was on the – in the bed close to the window.

00:36:07.180 The window was to the left, okay?

00:36:09.220 So if I am sleeping at home and I get up and I have to take a piss, that is the exact route that I would take.

00:36:15.620 I would go in front of my bed, out the door, to my left, and then – yeah, exactly.

00:36:20.380 Like, I think that's what I did.

00:36:21.440 Like, I was totally blacked out and, like, maybe, like, even asleep.

00:36:25.520 Like, this is what I would do if I was pissing at my house.

00:36:27.320 Like, almost exactly to where that window was is where my bathroom is.

00:36:32.220 And I would take a piss there.

00:36:33.800 So I think that's what I was, like, thinking that I was – like, you know, it's that, like, muscle memory type of thing.

00:36:38.780 You know what I'm saying?

00:36:39.560 Do you ever just wake up in the middle of the night and start jerking off with that muscle memory, too?

00:36:45.380 Yes, actually.

00:36:46.440 What would be really funny if that just happens on a regular basis but he doesn't know it?

00:36:50.780 I mean, he's just waking up every morning like, ah, fucking, I got another fucking wet dream.

00:36:54.740 Like, what is going on?

00:36:55.380 I told you guys before I have six omnia, right?

00:36:58.300 Six omnia?

00:36:59.440 Six omnia, yeah.

00:37:00.260 You can't sleep unless you have sex?

00:37:03.480 No, no.

00:37:03.840 If you – if I'm sleeping next to someone, I will just, like, basically mount them.

00:37:09.960 Holy shit.

00:37:11.220 Like, while you're asleep.

00:37:12.520 It's not right.

00:37:13.500 You were the best, bitch.

00:37:15.220 Wait, so –

00:37:15.920 Wait, wait, wait.

00:37:18.100 So while you're asleep, so you're a sleep fucker.

00:37:20.680 Yeah.

00:37:21.740 That is insane.

00:37:22.640 Yeah, so, like, I have to tell girls because I used to have a bunch of girlfriends that I wasn't, like, in relationships with from my volleyball days and they would come in.

00:37:30.800 Oh, be careful.

00:37:31.160 I'll rape you.

00:37:32.040 Yeah, you know.

00:37:32.680 No, for real, though.

00:37:33.540 And I would be like –

00:37:33.960 And I don't care about what hole I get in.

00:37:35.660 As long as I get in.

00:37:36.780 No, I would tell them.

00:37:37.980 I would be like, look, like, you smell nice and, like, there's at least, like, a 40% chance that I will, like, mount you in the middle of the night.

00:37:46.780 And I won't know what's happening.

00:37:48.200 So I would have to jerk off.

00:37:49.880 I would have to jerk off before I went to bed.

00:37:51.360 What a great rape defense.

00:37:52.640 Because it drops the percentages down to, like, 2% if I jerk off.

00:37:56.560 It's also a great, like, you need to fuck me before we fall asleep.

00:37:59.820 Like, no, it would be.

00:38:01.640 No, I will.

00:38:02.500 You're right.

00:38:03.360 You're right.

00:38:05.020 It's a great gambit if I was running game.

00:38:07.940 But, like, I am not running game.

00:38:09.400 This is a real thing.

00:38:10.140 I did it with my girlfriends.

00:38:11.800 Like, they could all vouch.

00:38:12.640 Like, this is a real fucking thing.

00:38:13.500 Wait, wait.

00:38:13.960 Is this like, hey, honey.

00:38:16.140 It's been, like, four days since we fucked.

00:38:18.240 I'm just letting you know.

00:38:19.800 You know, it's the middle of the night.

00:38:21.420 Crazy things happen.

00:38:22.520 I could have been accidentally raped you.

00:38:24.000 Yeah, so wait.

00:38:24.640 So if Clint goes to trial.

00:38:25.980 It's like, hey, like, they wake up.

00:38:27.800 He wakes up in the morning.

00:38:28.460 He's like, last night you raped me.

00:38:30.240 He's like, no, no, I had this thing.

00:38:31.500 It's the sex omni.

00:38:32.180 And he's like, you hit me in the face and called me a whore.

00:38:36.680 That's part of my sex omni.

00:38:37.840 I don't know.

00:38:38.380 But wait, though.

00:38:38.980 So if Clint gets charged with rape and he goes to, like, trial or something, is that a legitimate defense?

00:38:43.060 Like, I was asleep?

00:38:44.200 Like, he was running in control of his ass.

00:38:45.920 I've never had sex with a girl during this.

00:38:49.300 Like, if it's a significant other and it happens.

00:38:52.020 Fucked a few pillows.

00:38:53.440 No, no, no.

00:38:53.960 No, no, no.

00:38:54.620 You can't rape your girlfriend or wife.

00:38:57.020 I'll let my wife know.

00:38:59.240 No, no, no.

00:38:59.980 Like, all right.

00:39:00.620 So this is what happens.

00:39:01.440 I will.

00:39:02.300 I usually will wake up.

00:39:03.920 Like, I always go down on them when I'm doing this.

00:39:07.000 So, like, there's no.

00:39:08.080 There's no pen.

00:39:08.920 Like, there's no dick action.

00:39:10.120 So, like, I always.

00:39:11.120 I always find.

00:39:11.840 You are a sleep-giving cunnilingus.

00:39:14.360 You are.

00:39:15.180 What?

00:39:15.780 Wow.

00:39:16.420 I always.

00:39:16.780 I always.

00:39:18.280 Sorry to inconvenience you.

00:39:19.540 Clint is a sleep eater.

00:39:21.080 Check this out.

00:39:21.700 I always miss, though.

00:39:22.900 Sleep eater.

00:39:23.000 So, like, the girls always know because, like, I'll be, like, five, six inches away.

00:39:28.280 And I'll just be, like, in the vicinity.

00:39:29.460 You're in my ass, dickhead.

00:39:31.800 Exactly.

00:39:32.740 So, and, like.

00:39:34.320 Exactly the size of your dick.

00:39:35.580 Interesting.

00:39:35.760 At that point, they'll wake me up and I'll be, like, oh, fuck.

00:39:38.320 And then, like, if they're my significant other, oftentimes they'll want to have sex and then we'll have sex.

00:39:41.960 But, like, I've never.

00:39:42.900 I've never done it while asleep.

00:39:44.080 So, there's no potential rape charges coming.

00:39:46.680 By the way, can I say real quick?

00:39:48.020 I did.

00:39:49.020 I will thank Cole for telling that story.

00:39:51.360 Where he was doing the jerk-off motion like this.

00:39:53.340 He's giving me.

00:39:53.660 Yeah, I was doing the big one.

00:39:54.860 Give me a lot of credit for the size.

00:39:56.680 I like it.

00:39:57.220 All right.

00:39:58.080 I want to say I never saw your penis, Toad.

00:40:00.880 I wasn't looking.

00:40:01.520 I was looking in your eyes.

00:40:02.700 So, it's okay.

00:40:03.740 Thank you.

00:40:04.060 We locked eyes for sure.

00:40:05.160 Yes, yes.

00:40:05.940 I want to say my wife saw your penis.

00:40:07.000 Did you think Liz saw it, though?

00:40:08.260 I want to say Liz.

00:40:09.080 Yeah, I'm pretty sure she saw it.

00:40:12.540 How did she describe it?

00:40:14.200 We should bring her on the show and ask her.

00:40:16.840 Toad, could you really not stand up today?

00:40:18.840 What's Toad's penis look like?

00:40:21.100 Could you not stand up?

00:40:22.880 Not stand up?

00:40:23.740 What do you mean?

00:40:24.560 That night, could you not have stood up?

00:40:27.400 Who's going to get up?

00:40:29.060 What are you saying?

00:40:29.920 Like, I did stand up.

00:40:31.420 I'm saying when you're watching this threesome that you think that you can be a part of,

00:40:35.460 but you have enough fucking energy to jerk off, but you don't.

00:40:38.720 I don't remember anything.

00:40:39.400 I really don't know.

00:40:40.720 If you had your faculties, what would you have done?

00:40:43.120 I probably left the room, maybe, at that point.

00:40:47.720 I don't know.

00:40:48.340 See, that's correct.

00:40:51.340 Most people would have been like, oh, this is crazy.

00:40:54.160 I think I'll just give them some space.

00:40:56.280 But, like, Ultra Giga Chads, like, that's underneath.

00:40:59.640 He's built like that.

00:41:00.840 You guys don't understand this shit.

00:41:03.000 It's true, man.

00:41:03.660 When I'm drunk, it comes out, man.

00:41:06.000 Dude, when I'm drunk, I would have been, like, all up in that action.

00:41:08.880 This is what confuses me is, like, you're watching it.

00:41:12.000 You think – I mean, you've already said for yourself.

00:41:13.940 You think you could have got in on it, and you just choose to jerk off next to them and watch.

00:41:18.640 I mean, what –

00:41:19.440 This is the –

00:41:20.280 What news do you have?

00:41:21.500 Well, and that way the window had, like, closed, though.

00:41:24.660 You get what I'm saying?

00:41:25.520 Elizabeth didn't want to come on, but she did say it was too small to remember.

00:41:28.900 So –

00:41:29.620 Bullshit.

00:41:30.480 Bullshit.

00:41:31.300 I'm just kidding.

00:41:32.760 She's such a bitch.

00:41:35.660 Fuck you, Liz.

00:41:38.880 I didn't have binoculars, okay?

00:41:43.580 What is the, like, the – I guess just the plan.

00:41:48.620 Like, what is acceptable –

00:41:49.720 Dude, there's no plan.

00:41:50.820 You're blacked out.

00:41:51.280 What's the acceptable thing to do there?

00:41:53.440 Like, is it to – do you ask to join?

00:41:56.260 Yeah, everyone says join, but how do you join in in this thing that's already happened before you?

00:42:01.500 I think Toad had it right.

00:42:02.980 This is a situation where you come to and they're already deep in fucking.

00:42:05.540 Like, it's like they're already having their social interaction over here.

00:42:08.960 How do you merge in there?

00:42:10.240 I get up and I go –

00:42:12.440 Dude, I'll tell you exactly how you do it.

00:42:14.060 You get up and you go, oh, I just woke up from my nap.

00:42:17.580 I'm ready to rock.

00:42:18.600 And then they all go, get in here.

00:42:19.820 You know what the correct answer to this is?

00:42:21.740 I get up and I go back to my room where Reed Coverdale is in my bed.

00:42:26.600 That's the move.

00:42:27.660 That's true.

00:42:28.100 You should have done that.

00:42:28.920 Well, the thing is, like, how bad would it be if you get up and you're like, I'm going to join this threesome?

00:42:39.200 Let's go to an orgy.

00:42:40.480 And then they're like – and you're like – you start walking over and they just go, sorry, no.

00:42:44.040 And then you get the rejection.

00:42:45.400 I mean, the rejection there.

00:42:47.160 The force and rejection.

00:42:48.420 What do you – I mean, the rejection.

00:42:50.560 You've got to find out.

00:42:51.980 You have to find out.

00:42:53.540 You also got to take into account he's blackout drunk.

00:42:55.180 So he probably knows.

00:42:56.260 Like, I don't even have it in me to be like, come on, be like, hey, what's up, motherfucker?

00:43:00.260 If I'm blackout drunk, I can't jerk off.

00:43:02.360 So I don't even understand this.

00:43:03.660 Your dick's still functioning.

00:43:04.660 There's some fucking missing piece in this puzzle.

00:43:07.140 So he mustered together energy for one sexual act and made the best of it.

00:43:09.420 Clint took all the heat off Toad with the sleep rapes.

00:43:14.020 I got your back, homie.

00:43:15.220 I got your back.

00:43:16.020 And also, where do you – like, at what point do you just go up and, like, let's say they're doing, like, a thing where, like, you have one girl laying down, another girl eating her out, and then, like,

00:43:25.180 the guy doing doggy, do you just, like, walk up and just put your dick in the one girl's mouth?

00:43:30.040 Like, I mean, like –

00:43:30.980 For real, he could have done it.

00:43:32.360 And he would have gotten away with it.

00:43:34.140 I think he could have.

00:43:35.280 Because he's already got a boner.

00:43:36.840 Oh, I'm sorry.

00:43:36.860 That's for consent.

00:43:37.880 Yeah, he's just got to walk over there and get, like, within the proximity.

00:43:41.000 And I think things would get weird.

00:43:43.380 Probably with the other guy.

00:43:44.300 I would have been behind Cole fucking his ass, probably.

00:43:46.640 Now, that would be –

00:43:48.200 That's my concern with you, yeah.

00:43:51.100 That's what I would expect.

00:43:52.600 I would expect you to come up behind me, and I'd just feel your hands on my hips, and you're just, like, just let it happen.

00:43:57.760 And I'm just, like, oh, okay.

00:43:59.160 Hey, Coleen, you said this sparked your memory in something else earlier.

00:44:03.960 Okay, so I picked up these two girls.

00:44:05.880 We've got to get the mailbag at some point.

00:44:07.200 But, yeah.

00:44:07.340 Yeah, I picked up these two girls at Denny's.

00:44:10.840 They were actually eating with this other guy.

00:44:15.200 And me and my buddy John just walk up.

00:44:17.540 I'm, like, I'm in the best shape of my life.

00:44:19.340 I am fucking super alpha'd out.

00:44:21.340 I'm, like, feeling myself so hard.

00:44:23.220 And I just walk up, and I go to this dude, and I go, hey, we're sitting with them.

00:44:28.440 And he stands up, and he walks away.

00:44:30.500 I've never fucking seen anything like it in my life.

00:44:32.280 I've never done anything like that in my fucking life.

00:44:34.380 And these girls are so fucking impressed that they're, like, yeah, whatever you're doing for the rest of the evening, we're rolling with you.

00:44:40.940 And I bring them back to my place.

00:44:42.440 They're so dumb.

00:44:43.440 They are.

00:44:44.320 They are.

00:44:45.040 And I bring them back to my place.

00:44:47.320 One of them's got a fucking, like, a boyfriend or a husband.

00:44:49.740 I don't know what.

00:44:50.340 And the other girl's, like, not that hot.

00:44:52.300 But I'm, like, super into the one that's got a dude.

00:44:55.280 Of course, because I'm a scumbag.

00:44:56.880 And they both come to my bedroom.

00:44:58.800 The sun's about to rise.

00:44:59.680 It's, like, 4 a.m.

00:45:00.820 And we just get in there.

00:45:02.580 We're, like, kissing and fucking cuddling and shit.

00:45:05.600 Cuddling?

00:45:06.380 Yeah, but, well, because one of them's got a.

00:45:08.660 Yeah, dude, I'm fucking, you know, I play it slow.

00:45:11.320 You know, like a cuddle, you fucking faggot?

00:45:13.480 It's two girls.

00:45:14.160 It's two girls.

00:45:14.920 It's a beautiful thing.

00:45:15.740 It's like, I either suck titties or masturbate.

00:45:17.840 That's it.

00:45:18.700 No, no, no.

00:45:19.380 Because we're all.

00:45:20.940 Yeah, exactly.

00:45:21.420 That's my thing.

00:45:22.100 Because we're all, like, negotiating, like, the morality of what this one married chick is going to do.

00:45:26.480 Like, we're all, like, kind of waiting to see if she fucking does it.

00:45:28.740 You guys are having a philosophical debate on the moral merits of her fucking you?

00:45:34.560 Yeah, exactly.

00:45:35.140 Like, we're, like, because she's, like, we used to have threesomes all the time.

00:45:38.960 And the girl's, like, I know.

00:45:40.260 And I really want to.

00:45:41.080 But, like, you know, I'm with this guy.

00:45:43.000 And blah, blah, blah.

00:45:43.660 Anyways, so this other girl, the other girl is, like, cuddling me.

00:45:46.520 She's got, like, the married one's got her head here.

00:45:48.620 She's, like, kissing on my neck.

00:45:49.600 The other one goes down on me.

00:45:51.180 The sun starts to rise.

00:45:52.360 I shit you not.

00:45:52.960 My house is overlooking the water.

00:45:54.360 The sun's rising.

00:45:55.120 And my buddy John walks in.

00:45:57.340 And he just starts to, like, jerk off a little bit.

00:45:59.800 And I'm, like, get the fuck out of here, nigga.

00:46:01.980 And I just remembered this story because I was, like, I can't remember.

00:46:07.420 I was, like, why does this seem so familiar?

00:46:08.480 No, dog, you're not getting in on this.

00:46:10.400 This is mine.

00:46:11.580 I was, like, they're both mine.

00:46:13.560 You can't have them.

00:46:14.440 See, John is not a Chad, my guy.

00:46:16.440 When it starts, we're going to be a part of this thing.

00:46:18.700 No, you know what, Chad, like you.

00:46:19.920 That's another point for a giga-chad point for Toad.

00:46:22.440 He was, like, you know, that's my dog and I respect him.

00:46:24.440 I'm not going to take pussy from him, but I'll fucking jerk off.

00:46:27.040 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:46:27.780 And I honestly, it's all visually high-fiving him.

00:46:31.140 Remember that?

00:46:31.640 It's a tragedy.

00:46:32.140 It's a tragedy of the commons, really, if you think about it.

00:46:34.760 Great giga-chad.

00:46:35.400 And here's the other thing.

00:46:36.220 Here's the other thing.

00:46:36.880 If it's a male, female, female.

00:46:40.080 So it's one guy, two girls.

00:46:41.760 And you try to join.

00:46:42.840 And I don't think that's good.

00:46:44.060 If it's three girls, get in there.

00:46:45.800 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:46:46.980 If you just hop in and just bust the closest hole.

00:46:50.140 That's clear.

00:46:51.200 Yeah, yeah.

00:46:51.540 You're totally right.

00:46:52.860 Toad, honestly, honestly.

00:46:54.880 If it's male, male, female, you can also hop in, too.

00:46:58.240 Because at that point, it's just a train anyways.

00:47:02.880 I wouldn't have blamed Toad from taking the other girl away from you.

00:47:06.080 If he had the ability.

00:47:07.560 You don't have to take her away.

00:47:09.240 Literally, like, the best play.

00:47:10.680 And I swear to God, this is what I would have done.

00:47:12.400 I would have walked up with my dick hard.

00:47:14.180 Because my dick's hard.

00:47:14.900 Because I'm jerking off.

00:47:15.520 Well, obviously.

00:47:16.240 Because he's sleeping.

00:47:17.400 I'm totally out of my mind.

00:47:18.580 And you got the one girl that's not your homie's wife.

00:47:21.760 And you just put your dick near her face.

00:47:23.760 She's going to eat it.

00:47:24.780 No, she's just blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

00:47:26.420 Like, kind of like that.

00:47:27.180 You know, just kind of cute.

00:47:27.920 Yeah, no, I think you're probably right.

00:47:29.820 Yes, thank you.

00:47:30.880 All right.

00:47:31.500 It really adds that.

00:47:32.020 This is a poem moment.

00:47:33.380 Poem moment?

00:47:34.100 What the fuck does that mean?

00:47:35.440 Dude, leave a skank.

00:47:36.160 The Lewis's poem?

00:47:36.700 Fuck you.

00:47:36.980 You never saw him, man.

00:47:37.960 Dude, it's one of the best.

00:47:38.940 We'll never get on gas now because of you, you piece of shit.

00:47:42.260 Why?

00:47:42.780 Because I'm big-timing Legion of Skanks.

00:47:44.760 So I'm pretending I don't know anything about them.

00:47:46.760 The poem is basically when Legion of Skanks found their voice.

00:47:50.440 Although...

00:47:50.760 I don't know.

00:47:51.440 You think I don't know that?

00:47:52.380 I'm trying to big-time.

00:47:52.820 Yes, I think you don't know that.

00:47:54.240 You 100% didn't know that.

00:47:55.860 I absolutely know that.

00:47:57.420 You didn't know that.

00:47:57.820 You just mentioned that's part of the problem as well.

00:48:00.300 All right.

00:48:00.640 All right.

00:48:01.340 Yeah.

00:48:02.040 By the way, I have your back.

00:48:03.380 I think it's the coolest thing ever is what you did.

00:48:05.180 Yeah, me too.

00:48:06.020 I don't know why.

00:48:07.680 Fuck Cole.

00:48:08.040 Don't get defensive.

00:48:09.120 I have so much more respect to you.

00:48:11.240 I never said there was any problem with what he did.

00:48:14.000 I'm on team Cole.

00:48:14.880 I think what Cole did is actually fucking badass.

00:48:18.060 What Cole did is borderline psychotic, but you guys can pick your sides.

00:48:22.160 I don't really give a fuck.

00:48:23.140 What's crazy is I was having another one the next night, and then the guy that was in the

00:48:30.360 room at that point did not get involved at all.

00:48:32.740 He literally sat there beside...

00:48:34.400 Who was it?

00:48:35.580 I can't.

00:48:36.400 I mean, I think we've talked about it.

00:48:37.560 We'll tell you after the show.

00:48:38.360 I don't know.

00:48:38.920 I don't know this story.

00:48:39.620 You have all these stories.

00:48:40.260 I know who it is.

00:48:40.880 I assume you told all this that you did.

00:48:42.860 Oh, oh, oh.

00:48:44.540 So the lesson here is that I'm more of a chad than this unnamed individual.

00:48:50.060 I've talked about the other one because it didn't actually...

00:48:52.840 It was like I said that weekend I had one and a half threesomes because the next night

00:48:57.520 it didn't actually happen.

00:48:59.100 It was really close.

00:49:01.260 That was the night that Liz yelled at me, correct?

00:49:03.940 Yes.

00:49:04.260 Yo, real quick.

00:49:05.080 Can we give some props to Top?

00:49:06.400 This background is a shit.

00:49:07.360 Yeah, this background is pretty bad.

00:49:08.860 This background only took me seven hours to do.

00:49:10.960 Hell yeah.

00:49:12.160 I don't know if you guys have been noticing the new art, the new profile pics.

00:49:17.420 I love the new aesthetic.

00:49:19.240 Top is killing it.

00:49:20.060 I fucking love it.

00:49:21.020 Yeah.

00:49:21.120 Hell yeah.

00:49:23.000 Lorenzo is trying to ask what happened.

00:49:24.860 Dude, just go back and listen, man.

00:49:26.120 Yeah, just watch it.

00:49:27.240 Yeah, fuck you, Lorenzo.

00:49:27.800 I don't know.

00:49:28.440 I don't know if it beats the plasma moment.

00:49:32.620 It's almost like we had two moments.

00:49:34.120 Although I feel like we have other moments.

00:49:35.700 It's hard to tell.

00:49:36.100 We had more moments, man.

00:49:37.360 We had two moments.

00:49:38.720 They were too close together.

00:49:40.860 Yeah.

00:49:41.220 Yeah.

00:49:42.300 We're blowing our load like toad all over fucking...

00:49:45.560 You see that?

00:49:46.400 We don't know if I actually did.

00:49:47.900 I really don't know because you might have pissed all over your cum stains and just...

00:49:54.020 I mean, just...

00:49:54.960 How many threesomes have you had, Cole?

00:49:56.740 There's no way to know.

00:49:57.500 One and a half.

00:49:58.540 Oh, that's it ever?

00:49:59.480 That was it.

00:50:00.080 Yeah.

00:50:00.360 That was my only...

00:50:01.140 Yeah.

00:50:01.840 Yeah, that's right, Clint.

00:50:02.720 Right before your wife got pregnant.

00:50:04.120 That's crazy.

00:50:04.720 Clint, I saw...

00:50:06.020 Went out with a bang.

00:50:06.760 No, because it was...

00:50:10.060 When was Tom Woods 2000?

00:50:12.080 It was October.

00:50:12.680 January, right?

00:50:13.680 October 21.

00:50:15.140 Oh, yeah.

00:50:16.660 I mean, it was more around the LP Florida convention is when she got pregnant.

00:50:21.620 Yeah, so a month later.

00:50:22.520 I'm saying it's right before.

00:50:23.320 No, no, no.

00:50:23.700 It wasn't a month later.

00:50:24.560 No, no, that was a year later.

00:50:25.740 A year later.

00:50:26.580 Yeah.

00:50:27.920 What?

00:50:28.240 You have your timelines totally wrong.

00:50:30.960 There's no way.

00:50:31.620 I was only with him.

00:50:32.580 It was nine months before the baby was born, so do that math.

00:50:35.740 Yeah, so he fucking...

00:50:37.240 It was four months before he got his wife pregnant.

00:50:39.180 It's like...

00:50:39.580 It's fucking...

00:50:39.940 Yeah, four to six months.

00:50:41.180 Yeah, it was...

00:50:41.800 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:50:43.040 Tom Woods 2000, I wasn't...

00:50:44.540 I'm sure I found Ashton stories.

00:50:45.580 I bet there's some great Ashton stories.

00:50:47.060 I will not be doing that.

00:50:48.380 Oh, man.

00:50:49.520 She and I have peacefully separated.

00:50:51.680 I am going to keep it peaceful.

00:50:53.200 That's right.

00:50:53.460 Not for long.

00:50:55.300 No, she's...

00:50:55.820 I will be honest.

00:50:56.520 She's an Ashton.

00:50:56.820 I said you fucked Luke Ruchowski, and then she's gonna be upset.

00:50:59.140 I'm sure there were some moments.

00:51:00.640 She's a...

00:51:01.240 She's a centric, I guess.

00:51:02.560 I'm pretty sure that was public knowledge that they dated.

00:51:04.300 I hope it was.

00:51:05.140 I don't know.

00:51:05.600 I think me and Clint can get Luke to do some gay stuff with us.

00:51:09.000 What do you think?

00:51:10.020 Get Luke to?

00:51:10.540 I mean, you can get...

00:51:11.620 Half the reason I like Clint, Top, and then possibly Cole going as our first team, those

00:51:17.480 are our...

00:51:17.980 I honestly feel like you guys are the best face to put forward, especially on a personal

00:51:21.900 level between them.

00:51:23.220 Like, you guys are the likable crew of the two.

00:51:26.200 As long as you don't read my tweets.

00:51:27.840 Yeah, like, you guys...

00:51:28.820 I feel like you guys will be homies by the end of the night.

00:51:31.600 Like, I know, like...

00:51:32.480 Oh, I could definitely...

00:51:33.540 Oh, yeah.

00:51:33.920 I could definitely homie it up with Ian and...

00:51:37.160 Oh, dude.

00:51:37.860 Ian's the fucking man.

00:51:39.180 I love Ian.

00:51:40.560 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:51:40.760 I will do whatever drugs they give me.

00:51:43.140 I will just be the monkey that they can just like...

00:51:45.920 In actuality, I don't know.

00:51:47.980 Like, I'm kind of like...

00:51:48.260 Oh, my God, dude.

00:51:49.560 If I go, I get to do fucking...

00:51:51.200 I guarantee you, Ian will probably have hallucinogenics.

00:51:53.940 Like, yo, how much, Doug?

00:51:55.240 I want to get really high with you.

00:51:58.700 I'm kind of like a social chameleon in a way.

00:52:00.960 I can fit into, like, any, like, social situation.

00:52:04.520 But not a fucking foursome affair.

00:52:08.240 He fit in just fine.

00:52:09.760 I fit in all right.

00:52:10.900 He played the rules.

00:52:11.920 He played the rules, Clint.

00:52:13.500 You would have got kicked out the room, Clint, because you would have been too forward.

00:52:16.840 You might have been like...

00:52:17.620 Get your big old dick, Clint.

00:52:21.340 Get out of here, man.

00:52:23.220 I would have asserted myself into that.

00:52:25.100 Oh, my God.

00:52:25.860 I would have been scared.

00:52:26.820 Get that fucking scary.

00:52:29.020 I wouldn't have touched your wife, but I definitely would have taken the other chick.

00:52:32.000 Keeping in mind that I sort of, like, almost, like, initiated that entire thing.

00:52:35.720 So, Cole should thank me for that.

00:52:37.940 Is that true, Cole?

00:52:39.200 He probably did.

00:52:40.340 I was not in the hotel room from the beginning.

00:52:42.860 So, I don't know.

00:52:43.520 You know what?

00:52:43.980 You should thank him for not attempting to get involved in your three-way.

00:52:47.640 Yeah.

00:52:48.180 I would like to imagine that, like, before Cole walks in there, Toad's just in full fluffer

00:52:53.980 mode.

00:52:54.280 He's going down on both of them, and then he's just like, oh, Cole's here, and he just jumps

00:52:57.680 into bed and starts jerking off.

00:52:59.040 He was like, go, go.

00:52:59.960 Cole will never know.

00:53:01.180 He's like, go, go, go, go, go, go.

00:53:03.240 Tag out.

00:53:05.960 That's right.

00:53:06.600 It'll remain a mystery.

00:53:08.020 Cole jumps over the top ropes like a fucking wrestler.

00:53:10.160 And he's like, I will give a pussy for my hands so that my homie can get his first threesome.

00:53:16.260 That would be, that is, you know what, Toad?

00:53:18.420 Thank you.

00:53:19.120 You're the best.

00:53:19.480 You're the real shit.

00:53:19.980 You're the fucking, you're the fucking beast.

00:53:20.800 Yeah, I'm telling you, dude.

00:53:21.940 Real ass dude.

00:53:24.480 Now, now you just got to get him a threesome.

00:53:26.680 You're going to have to figure, but this will be easier to do, like, as the show grows.

00:53:31.240 I mean, you want to get him a threesome to start off?

00:53:34.220 You want his first time.

00:53:35.160 Dude, at our first inaugural Tower Gang Festival, like, we're going to get some fucking fan

00:53:43.200 to just blow Toad on stage in front of everybody, just like they did.

00:53:46.420 They did, because that shit happened at Skank Fest Vegas.

00:53:49.020 That's how you know we've hit success when we can get a chick to fuck Toad just for clout.

00:53:54.080 Dude, if we get on the Gas Digital Network, I'm pretty sure we can get you on Skank Fest

00:53:59.080 and a blowjob at Skank Fest.

00:54:01.380 Because you are, like, you're way retarded than Gay Mike.

00:54:05.480 You're more retarded.

00:54:08.300 Honestly, Toad, I feel like you could do the Winter Olympics and blow all of them out of

00:54:12.420 the water.

00:54:13.000 Oh, my God.

00:54:14.080 Dude, why don't you do that?

00:54:15.200 Yeah, sign up.

00:54:16.280 Dude, you are the perfect, like, intern for, like, a show.

00:54:18.720 Dude, if you, oh, my God.

00:54:20.460 You could probably pull together and learn how to edit and fucking, um, I bet they don't

00:54:26.340 even know, fucking know how to do that shit.

00:54:27.820 So, yeah, you totally, they literally pick the worst people to be their interns.

00:54:33.220 So, Toad, I'm going to need you to sign up.

00:54:35.220 I'm going to need you to win the competition.

00:54:36.500 I'm going to need you to quit your job.

00:54:37.640 I'm going to need you to move to New York City.

00:54:39.060 I'm going to need you to become best friends with Lewis.

00:54:40.820 And I'm going to need you to get our show signed so that we can have our own festivals

00:54:43.980 once a year.

00:54:44.520 And then you get a blowjob.

00:54:46.620 Yes.

00:54:48.140 After all that work.

00:54:49.980 I'm telling you to buy a hooker.

00:54:51.680 Whatever you want to do.

00:54:52.500 For all that work, I get something that lasts, like, two seconds.

00:54:56.060 That's awesome.

00:54:56.540 I'm telling you, if you guys do that gag, I don't think we'd get signed right away.

00:55:01.660 Maybe.

00:55:02.620 But I'd say within the next six months, we would get signed.

00:55:06.240 On my life, I'm doing it.

00:55:07.500 We should just go and wear Gas Digital t-shirts.

00:55:09.920 I was thinking about wearing Tower Gang shirts.

00:55:12.960 But if we just wore Gas Digital shirts, that would be so...

00:55:15.420 That would be custom shirts that says, Tower Gang, newest addition to Gas Digital.

00:55:19.600 Make one-off shirts.

00:55:23.380 Make one-off shirts that it's Tower Gang merch with Gas Digital.

00:55:27.620 And it's just, I mean, it's like...

00:55:29.960 Liberty Lockdown, just put a sign to Gas Digital.

00:55:33.180 It's like the whole shirt.

00:55:36.400 Notice me, senpai, in a picture.

00:55:39.040 And it's just like, we got fucking Lewis here.

00:55:41.540 We got Jay on the back.

00:55:42.540 We got Dave here.

00:55:43.300 No, yo, if we just wore a picture of Lewis's face just on your shirt, that would be fucking so funny.

00:55:50.460 Oh, dude.

00:55:51.600 I'm not opposed to...

00:55:52.260 Dude, just...

00:55:53.300 No, for real.

00:55:54.720 Just one of his face.

00:55:55.800 Not just sign.

00:55:56.980 And then Clint can kind of like riff on that to be like, I put his face on here because, you know, he's given us a huge opportunity.

00:56:02.900 Because he put our face on his platform.

00:56:09.700 It's so stupid.

00:56:11.740 It's all or nothing.

00:56:12.560 It'll either get us signed or it'll get me fired.

00:56:16.360 But you know what?

00:56:16.940 At this point...

00:56:17.540 I don't think it's all or nothing.

00:56:18.680 I think it's all or...

00:56:19.920 That was funny, guys.

00:56:20.280 No, for me, it's all or nothing.

00:56:21.820 I don't think there's any way they get upset about it.

00:56:24.520 There is no downside for you, Tom.

00:56:25.980 He will greatly appreciate a million plus people hearing about Gas.

00:56:30.180 Yeah, see, if you plug podcast merch on there, which I mean, I'm guessing you will because they probably will help plugs or whatever.

00:56:36.760 That is worth...

00:56:39.880 I mean, what would that...

00:56:41.000 I mean, Clint, you probably know these advertising numbers for a fucking podcast.

00:56:44.800 And a podcast of 10...

00:56:45.440 Of that size?

00:56:46.380 I mean, that's at least a $7,000 or $8,000 ad read.

00:56:50.140 Yeah.

00:56:50.680 I mean, for just one plug.

00:56:52.760 Like, for a couple of...

00:56:53.520 It's like podcastmerch.com.

00:56:55.080 Would be...

00:56:55.500 Yeah.

00:56:55.680 That's worth $7,000 to $8,000.

00:56:56.640 That's where...

00:56:57.000 I mean, that's...

00:56:58.740 I mean, yeah.

00:57:01.020 I mean, it would...

00:57:01.640 I mean, anything...

00:57:02.380 I'm not even kidding.

00:57:03.140 You need to do this.

00:57:04.080 You need to do the Lewis face.

00:57:05.640 Some variant of the Lewis face.

00:57:07.240 Like a big face.

00:57:08.260 Dude, I want it to be more brazen.

00:57:09.820 I really do.

00:57:11.060 I want it to be like just signed to Gas Digital.

00:57:14.640 Well, I think that's overdoing it.

00:57:15.980 The face kind of gives it this almost like snappy emotional backstory.

00:57:19.440 I want it to be overdoing it.

00:57:21.280 Respect to him.

00:57:21.560 He wants to...

00:57:22.480 Yeah, you have to...

00:57:23.420 I mean, we will fucking visualize and make happen what we want to happen.

00:57:29.400 Yes.

00:57:29.680 And I want to walk in there wearing that shirt, and I'm not going to address it until someone

00:57:34.560 else goes, what the fuck is that?

00:57:36.560 And I go, oh, let me tell you.

00:57:38.240 A couple episodes, Jose, I was telling you.

00:57:40.020 You've got a great man that I am.

00:57:40.880 I visualize it.

00:57:42.320 Jose, I visualize it.

00:57:44.140 I conceive it, and then I make it happen, and I fuck it out into the...

00:57:48.400 Yes.

00:57:48.680 It's literally how you create your art.

00:57:50.200 We're going to create art in real fucking life.

00:57:52.460 Yeah, man.

00:57:53.100 We're taking after Ye.

00:57:54.420 We're taking after Ye.

00:57:56.240 That's right.

00:57:57.260 Oh, my God.

00:57:58.660 Mailbag's on.

00:57:59.400 We're going to get to it?

00:57:59.980 Every part of this idea.

00:58:01.120 Yeah, make this fucking guy do his job.

00:58:03.180 He's just chilling there.

00:58:04.440 I know.

00:58:04.820 We're letting him off the hook.

00:58:05.880 He's done nothing.

00:58:06.220 You got lucky that we got a great moment, so you just got to sit there and niggle.

00:58:09.520 Just preteen goofball.

00:58:10.700 Get in here and do your job.

00:58:12.300 You got to see this moment live, man.

00:58:14.540 Hey, Tote, I want to double down on my appreciation for you to own your...

00:58:18.580 Incredible perversion and Chad-like behavior.

00:58:21.060 Incredible.

00:58:21.700 I am so glad you actually...

00:58:22.900 Because I was really hoping...

00:58:24.260 I was...

00:58:24.800 I mean, I was like, this is comedy gold.

00:58:26.860 I'm not even kidding, dude.

00:58:27.800 I love you for that.

00:58:28.960 I love you for that.

00:58:29.680 I don't...

00:58:30.120 I never heard of anybody else telling a story about being the fourth guy on a threesome

00:58:36.080 and just jerking off.

00:58:37.460 And making yourself...

00:58:38.900 And, Landon, when you think about, like, the logistics of it and the psychology, like,

00:58:42.400 I just respect you so much more.

00:58:44.440 Look, man, I'm marking my fucking territory, man.

00:58:47.080 I pissed all over the room.

00:58:48.880 What's so funny to me is, like, I just did this top.

00:58:50.560 And then you sucked your titty.

00:58:51.520 I literally just saw it, and it was just like...

00:58:52.960 Oh, my God.

00:58:53.960 Dude.

00:58:54.060 It's happening.

00:58:54.660 I sucked a titty at the end.

00:58:55.780 You have to make this reference.

00:58:57.460 Oh.

00:58:57.760 Do you know?

00:58:58.440 Do you know?

00:58:58.780 That's what I'll do.

00:58:59.560 That's what I'll do.

00:59:00.200 I'll go in, and then I'll just be like, look, I wasn't even sure he was going to sign

00:59:04.100 us, but you know what?

00:59:05.240 Lewis is like a brother to me.

00:59:06.320 I'll start to cry.

00:59:07.400 I'll fucking do it.

00:59:09.040 I'll do it.

00:59:09.580 I'll do it.

00:59:10.080 I'll do it.

00:59:10.100 I bet you I could fucking work myself up to do it.

00:59:11.740 If you do what they did and just make the entire show about Lewis, just always make

00:59:17.880 it back.

00:59:19.840 He's a great man.

00:59:20.460 Anyway, talk back in the news and be like, yeah, but, you know, he's a great man.

00:59:23.020 He's a great father, but he's just a better...

00:59:25.100 Oh, my God.

00:59:25.500 He's a better person.

00:59:26.600 Like, do you do Rothbard quotes?

00:59:29.960 Be like, yeah, fucking, uh, this guy said, like, a Rothbard quote.

00:59:37.140 Oh, yeah.

00:59:37.580 Be like, uh, be like, and Lewis, I mean, he was the one that thought of democracy, the

00:59:41.580 God that failed.

00:59:42.580 It was Lewis and Gomez.

00:59:45.200 Hear me out.

00:59:46.700 If Top has his number, just call him live on air.

00:59:49.880 Oh, God, no, no, no, no, that, that is, that is, that's way too hardcore.

00:59:55.260 Little Dicky's mic is, your mic is too, uh, too loud, Little Dicky.

00:59:59.220 Yeah, you gotta turn down your game, but also, um, Top, give me his number and I'll do it

01:00:03.260 so that you don't get in trouble.

01:00:04.140 Yeah, also, Little Dicky, don't talk at all.

01:00:05.980 Thank you.

01:00:07.500 We did not ask the mail back.

01:00:09.060 Little Dicky, let's get to the mail.

01:00:10.700 What do we got?

01:00:11.060 Little Dicky can talk once he's, uh, the fourth man in a foursome, so.

01:00:14.700 What do you think about this idea, though, Clint, uh, like, we have, like, a bunch of

01:00:19.240 shirts underneath and, and every, like, every couple of minutes we take it off and, like,

01:00:23.040 the next shirt underneath is just increasingly more homoerotic towards you.

01:00:27.620 Can you see, can you see what camera they're on during the show?

01:00:31.520 Like, do they have monitors?

01:00:33.020 You have, you have no idea.

01:00:34.840 Oh, okay, because that would be so great if it would, it would go to Tim and then it

01:00:38.420 would come back and you're in a different shirt.

01:00:39.140 It auto, it auto pans to whoever's speaking, I think.

01:00:41.920 Um, you just have to wait, and Tim talks a lot, so you could probably just, you would

01:00:46.980 have to do some weird, like, breakaway stuff, like, or, or, like, you would, it would have

01:00:50.500 to be a breakaway.

01:00:51.020 No, it's even, you know, it's even better if it's not breakaway and I just have to

01:00:54.080 fucking shred it off.

01:00:55.480 Oh, dude.

01:00:56.960 And then there's, like, another one with Lewis.

01:00:58.660 You gotta do, like, little cuts in this shirt and just fucking, like, I got tired of

01:01:02.880 that shirt.

01:01:04.300 People are saying to wear Ari's, uh, Lewis pedo shirt, uh, where Lewis is a pedo shirt.

01:01:10.040 I had, it's discontinued, but I do have the PNGs for this.

01:01:17.560 It's a little, it's a little hot in here, but I just tear off his shirt, but I'm still

01:01:21.000 wearing a t-shirt underneath, and I go, oh, fuck, I'm sweating now.

01:01:24.320 I tear it off in another one.

01:01:25.960 God, that's the funniest shit.

01:01:26.840 Would it best not be, though, if we, if we got swatted?

01:01:29.500 That would be the, the highlight, though.

01:01:31.940 I'm telling you, this is, this is why I want Toad to come, even though he's not going to

01:01:34.780 be on air.

01:01:35.260 I need a body shield.

01:01:39.560 Oh, we talked about that on my show.

01:01:41.900 It hasn't been released publicly yet.

01:01:43.200 It'll be out of Tuesday, but we were theorizing the logistics of it, and using you as human

01:01:49.240 shit.

01:01:49.920 We should have Toad come, come to the show just to be in the corner and jerk off while we

01:01:53.980 were talking about it.

01:01:59.900 Maybe I'd actually get off this one.

01:02:04.780 Yeah, finally, Olivia's off the show.

01:02:07.280 I mean, maybe I'd finally come.

01:02:09.000 I do not think we're going to get invited back.

01:02:11.740 I don't think we're going to be on at all.

01:02:13.120 But we'll be signed by gas, so it won't matter.

01:02:15.500 Dude, I mean, like, because I know Clint's about to have a threesome with Cassandra and

01:02:20.520 fucking Josie, so, I mean, Clint, if Toad is there for that, I mean, just, I mean,

01:02:25.400 if we go three.

01:02:26.260 Cassandra's married, dude.

01:02:26.980 I don't think that's going to happen.

01:02:29.140 I mean, you never know.

01:02:30.400 You never know.

01:02:31.340 You never know.

01:02:33.000 All right, let's get some mail back.

01:02:34.140 I want to hear from the other one we got.

01:02:35.580 All right, we need to wind down.

01:02:36.500 I'm just, like, way too far.

01:02:37.300 Yeah, read the mail bag, but don't talk at all.

01:02:40.580 Read it with your eyes.

01:02:45.360 Okay, so.

01:02:46.340 Go and go, man.

01:02:49.720 Into the mail bag.

01:02:50.500 Here we go.

01:02:50.520 I don't think the top will beat me if I speak.

01:02:53.060 Into the mail bag.

01:02:54.340 No, it's good.

01:02:54.580 Okay, Liminal Vibration asks, will y'all sing Christmas carols again this year?

01:03:01.200 We didn't do that last year.

01:03:02.200 Did we do that ever?

01:03:03.280 That's, unless we ever get, like, really big time, I can't see us planning that out.

01:03:07.960 That seems like way too much work.

01:03:09.160 Liminal Vibration, follow at Tower Gang Toad.

01:03:12.620 I do Christmas music on Uke during the season.

01:03:15.860 I just put out one of Merry Fucking Christmas.

01:03:18.160 Toad, if you, during my threesome, was playing the Uke, I would have let you in.

01:03:23.440 You had to keep playing, but I would have let you in.

01:03:28.960 You know that's my song, right?

01:03:31.100 I play that a lot on Uke.

01:03:32.340 I do.

01:03:33.900 Vax the halls, now you've got Bell Palsy.

01:03:36.860 La la la la la.

01:03:38.760 I wouldn't mind putting out a Tower Gang album, Christmas album.

01:03:44.200 That would be pretty fun.

01:03:46.080 I mean, I would have to be, we'd have to be real big time, because that seems like way

01:03:49.300 too much work.

01:03:49.880 So, JVP Music, shout out, he got me a new fucking beat.

01:03:54.020 I haven't started writing it, but I have been listening to it.

01:03:56.400 Apparently, Dickie Walnuts got us a new intro.

01:03:59.040 Does he?

01:03:59.420 Before he's working on it.

01:04:00.160 Before he's working on it.

01:04:01.140 Me and Dickie are conspiring.

01:04:02.340 Yeah.

01:04:02.960 Oh, you guys are conspiring?

01:04:04.300 Yo.

01:04:04.700 Yeah.

01:04:05.020 Get close.

01:04:05.700 We want to rap, dude.

01:04:06.860 We want to rap.

01:04:08.040 Let me know, dog.

01:04:09.040 Hey, what's up with the fucking edit from Tower Top Gang Podcast?

01:04:15.140 Oh, I lost his house.

01:04:16.760 Yeah, Top Lobster's house.

01:04:17.580 Bro, I don't even know the point of it at this point.

01:04:19.220 Yeah, I don't even know.

01:04:20.340 Yeah, hey, let's put it on a year later.

01:04:22.900 I've got the raw files, but yeah, I just don't know.

01:04:25.740 Maybe I'll fuck with it, but I'm not that good at video editing.

01:04:28.580 No, I mean, it's obviously DOA, but I think it will be great to have if we actually ever

01:04:33.060 do make it big, because then you could release that like five years down the road and be like,

01:04:36.840 this is the first live event we ever did.

01:04:39.700 It's like a bunch of cripples and middle-aged women, and fucking, that was our beginning.

01:04:44.820 And we decided the winner of Cyclone Showers, too.

01:04:47.440 I did tell Top this.

01:04:48.760 So I jerk off in almost every house I'm in.

01:04:51.780 Like, legitimately almost every house I'm in.

01:04:53.380 I jerk off in every house.

01:04:54.000 I did not jerk off in Top's house.

01:04:55.820 Yeah, I feel discriminated against, but that's fine.

01:04:57.480 Yeah, I know.

01:04:57.920 It's very weird.

01:04:58.600 I was like, I don't like these fucking Puerto Ricans, so I'm not gonna jerk off in this house.

01:05:02.440 This house smells like beans.

01:05:03.680 And that's why Cole is one of the few Tower Gang members who has not stayed at my place

01:05:09.320 to this point.

01:05:10.100 If you come in a Puerto Rican's house anywhere, the women inside will become pregnant.

01:05:15.380 Oh, yeah, that's true.

01:05:16.260 Their pussy sniffs it out.

01:05:18.800 Extremely fertile.

01:05:20.280 But of course, as I mentioned, Clint and I did watch lesbian porn together here.

01:05:25.460 She gives birth to a downsy-looking ginger baby.

01:05:28.720 I'm like, fuck Cole.

01:05:31.480 I can't help it.

01:05:33.160 They're literally the fucking cleaning ladies.

01:05:35.840 So they just go up and they just like, instead of like using, they just bend down and then

01:05:41.040 just stand back up and continue to go.

01:05:42.660 Is that kid's hair lightening up at all or are you straight up getting a ginger?

01:05:46.120 Dude, it's, I think it's lighting up a little bit, but I think it's usually a few months

01:05:52.020 It's strawberry blonde right now.

01:05:54.320 Okay.

01:05:54.800 All right.

01:05:55.240 Well, I think it might go full blonde.

01:05:56.560 It is ginger at the bottom.

01:05:57.980 Mailbag boy, we're going to need a DNA test from you.

01:06:01.320 Because yeah, Cole's son is destined to become a mailbag boy.

01:06:05.060 It's just kind of unfortunate.

01:06:05.960 It's ginger on the bottom and then it kind of has like 90s.

01:06:09.760 Ginger on the bottom.

01:06:10.740 He has pears iron.

01:06:11.740 Oh my God.

01:06:12.180 Let him talk.

01:06:14.540 He's got frosted tips.

01:06:15.700 And then like 90s frosted tips on the top is basically what it looks like right now.

01:06:19.220 He's going to be a host of diners driving and dives.

01:06:22.280 That sounds like a guy.

01:06:24.320 You're going to go to Flavortown, baby.

01:06:25.540 That's not what my youngest was.

01:06:27.120 She was like very red at first.

01:06:29.100 And then like within a few months, it went full blonde.

01:06:31.080 And she's been, she's 10 years old and still blonde as fuck.

01:06:33.260 Did she keep the blue eyes?

01:06:34.400 Did she have blue eyes?

01:06:34.900 Or did she keep them?

01:06:36.260 Guy Fieri is like the ultimate guest for this show.

01:06:38.780 It would be fun.

01:06:40.600 It would be fun.

01:06:41.200 That would be fun.

01:06:42.040 Did she have blue eyes?

01:06:42.820 And did she keep them?

01:06:44.140 She has blue eyes and she's kept them.

01:06:45.600 Yep.

01:06:45.840 Okay, good.

01:06:46.280 Okay.

01:06:46.400 Don't care.

01:06:49.460 Don't care about any of this.

01:06:50.420 Let's get to the next question.

01:06:51.440 Sorry.

01:06:51.700 Go ahead.

01:06:51.940 Yeah.

01:06:52.100 We're bombing over kids.

01:06:53.480 Next question.

01:06:54.180 Again, read the question silently.

01:06:55.260 Thank you to you.

01:06:55.820 Well, we only have, I think we only have three this week.

01:06:58.080 So yeah.

01:07:00.020 Novum says the LP should give complimentary BJs to those who show up to events and such.

01:07:04.980 The LP would triple overnight, especially if y'all were the polishers.

01:07:08.820 It also give Toad some experience before his meetup with his search history.

01:07:13.020 Yeah.

01:07:13.320 I mean, all you have to do to get laid at one of those conferences is start a podcast,

01:07:17.040 really.

01:07:17.920 Wait, meet up?

01:07:19.600 I don't get the part for me.

01:07:21.560 I don't get the part about my search history.

01:07:23.940 Put this out there that like basically LP like conferences, even though, and I told this

01:07:28.600 to him, I was like, the only fun ones are the ones we're at.

01:07:31.700 Like every one of them, I bet is just a fucking drag.

01:07:34.340 Oh, they're awful.

01:07:35.340 Dude, I'll go far as to say this, dude.

01:07:38.060 If it's any just single one of us, it's not going to be that fun.

01:07:42.460 It's got to be like, if Dave's there and I'm there and like one of us is there, like

01:07:46.780 that's a fun, that's a fun time.

01:07:48.380 Otherwise, like no one fun shows up.

01:07:50.580 This is how bad, this is how bad the LP events are.

01:07:52.800 When we were at LP Florida, they were doing something.

01:07:55.660 I forgot what it was, whatever they were doing.

01:07:58.060 But Dave Smith said, yo, top, come on in here.

01:08:01.880 And I was like, okay.

01:08:03.340 And Cole was like, we're going to Applebee's and I was like, let's go to Applebee's and

01:08:06.920 like the rest of tower games just went to Applebee's and we just left.

01:08:10.880 I, whatever.

01:08:11.760 I was before Wild Wings, we didn't do fucking Applebee's, even though, I mean, I still would

01:08:17.760 have probably gone to Applebee's instead.

01:08:19.400 Yeah, I would too.

01:08:20.140 Buffalo Wild Wings is like the bottom of the barrel.

01:08:22.560 Yeah, dude.

01:08:22.960 No, we like, it was legit getting to where like people would come out from, out from in

01:08:29.120 like in there doing their like bullshit, they would leave that and come to where we were

01:08:33.580 sitting at.

01:08:34.320 Yeah, it was way more fun with you guys for sure.

01:08:36.240 Oh my God.

01:08:36.540 I was supporting the homie and Dave did give a good speech.

01:08:38.820 By the way, Toad, terrible opinion.

01:08:42.020 Buffalo Wild Wings is far superior to Applebee's.

01:08:43.920 My God.

01:08:44.720 But the only thing that Buffalo Wild Wings.

01:08:46.160 Did you just say that?

01:08:47.100 Yeah.

01:08:47.340 Did you actually say Applebee's was better than Buffalo Wild Wings?

01:08:50.100 He said, he said that Buffalo Wild Wings is the lowest.

01:08:52.800 Yeah.

01:08:53.080 Well, the only thing it has going for it is the, the fact that you do like a really spicy.

01:08:57.500 The wings are not that good.

01:09:00.300 The wings are not that good.

01:09:01.540 It's the wing challenge.

01:09:04.860 The wing challenge.

01:09:05.260 He just likes, he likes Buffalo Wild Wings because the acronym is BWW.

01:09:11.480 I don't know what this shit's about.

01:09:12.700 That's right.

01:09:13.100 I went and I thought it was BWW.

01:09:14.560 I was, I was very disappointed.

01:09:17.540 I mean, Toad is just like, he just hates like restaurants that their main thing is what

01:09:22.420 they're known for.

01:09:23.180 And he's just like, no, I don't like that.

01:09:24.440 Like, I want, I want the pizza hut.

01:09:26.180 But it's like, no, pizza hut, that fucking sucks.

01:09:30.220 They only care about pizza.

01:09:31.660 Like, pizza hut does definitely, pizza hut does indeed suck.

01:09:35.780 Buffalo Wild Wings, their wings are very mediocre, man.

01:09:38.300 And the only reason I would go there.

01:09:39.040 Yes, compared to other wings things, but we're not comparing wings places.

01:09:42.120 We're comparing Applebee's to a wings place.

01:09:44.160 Applebee's is definitely better because they have a way more dairy menu.

01:09:47.180 You're fucking wrong.

01:09:48.280 And their stuff is kind of like average across the board.

01:09:51.120 It's definitely better.

01:09:51.780 See, this is why you jerk off when you have a fucking threesome right in front of you.

01:09:56.880 Because now this is, let me tell you, Applebee's, Applebee's, they're both bad.

01:10:02.580 We walk into Buffalo Wild Wings, we sit down, I thought it was Applebee's, we walk there,

01:10:07.040 sit down, he immediately asked the waitress if he can eat the leftovers from the people

01:10:10.740 who just left from their table.

01:10:12.820 To me, it was, it was the funniest thing that I've ever heard.

01:10:17.960 And I was like, did he just say that?

01:10:19.520 And the lady was like, what?

01:10:21.660 I guess.

01:10:22.860 Who is this?

01:10:24.060 You.

01:10:24.600 I remember that, too.

01:10:26.100 I was like, yo, this dog is, he's for real.

01:10:29.200 This is him.

01:10:29.880 Wait, who did this?

01:10:30.580 Who did this?

01:10:31.300 Cole did this.

01:10:32.220 Oh, I didn't.

01:10:32.560 A real ass dude.

01:10:35.560 I'm just kidding.

01:10:36.860 I thought Joe did it.

01:10:37.920 I was, I forget I did it.

01:10:39.160 No, you, nigga, you don't remember?

01:10:40.400 No, I don't remember.

01:10:41.440 I totally forget.

01:10:43.160 Yeah, that's how inconsequential it was to him.

01:10:45.620 Didn't you have a threesome that night?

01:10:46.780 No, not that night.

01:10:48.600 It wasn't that night?

01:10:49.400 Yeah, threesome that night.

01:10:49.960 I wasn't thinking about my fucking Applebee's experience, bitch.

01:10:53.480 He's just waiting for his nightly threesome.

01:10:55.180 I really asked the waitress if I could eat the food.

01:10:57.720 I remember when we first sat down, you were like, hey, oh, they just left.

01:11:00.380 Why don't we just get their leftovers?

01:11:01.520 That'll be cheaper.

01:11:02.140 It was something like that.

01:11:02.800 Yeah, it's like, you've got to throw that out.

01:11:03.460 And she looked at you for a minute, like, if you're serious, you're like.

01:11:06.340 He's like, look, don't eat plasma.

01:11:08.260 What do you want from me?

01:11:10.020 That's true.

01:11:10.420 I do, like, fucking with random, like, just saying outlandish things.

01:11:14.500 And just seeing people, like, just kind of weirded out about it.

01:11:17.720 That is a fun thing to do.

01:11:19.640 But it was, I do remember that there was a lot of food left over.

01:11:23.740 Like, it was, like, a full thing of, like, nachos.

01:11:26.700 Oh, I remember we had the thought.

01:11:28.380 It was nachos.

01:11:28.700 And I remember when we sat down, we were like, I was kidding, but, yeah.

01:11:34.340 I remember the nachos.

01:11:35.760 We're in the middle of the winter of death when he says that.

01:11:38.280 And he's just like, can I eat their canned nachos?

01:11:44.160 And then when we sat down, he was like, yeah, I know.

01:11:46.440 I was kind of kidding.

01:11:47.380 But, like, I mean, look at all that shit.

01:11:49.920 Like, he was, like, trying to talk us into it.

01:11:52.340 Be like, yeah, you're right, Cole.

01:11:53.500 My buddy John that walked in jerking off used to do shit just like that.

01:11:57.980 This is why I always say Cole reminds me of my buddy John.

01:12:00.640 You're the same fucking person.

01:12:02.000 It's unbelievable.

01:12:03.020 Dude, there's so many things.

01:12:05.120 Like, it's so funny.

01:12:06.700 I don't know if anybody else has ever dealt with this.

01:12:08.500 Where people will tell you things that you've done.

01:12:10.280 And you're like, I don't remember doing that.

01:12:11.840 But that sounds like something I would do.

01:12:13.160 And it's fucking hilarious.

01:12:14.300 Yeah, when I was an alcoholic, it happened to me all the time.

01:12:16.440 But I wasn't.

01:12:17.000 I'm not drinking.

01:12:17.840 I did this completely sober.

01:12:19.160 Well, I guess that night I wasn't completely sober.

01:12:20.500 No, you were drunk, dude.

01:12:21.500 But in college, I was completely sober.

01:12:25.820 And there were so many stories about stupid shit I was doing.

01:12:28.740 These guys were drinking champagne and driving to this place.

01:12:32.520 Look, man, if you donate plasma for four years straight.

01:12:34.800 John used to do that, too.

01:12:36.040 You're just in a constant black hole.

01:12:37.140 Rest in peace, John.

01:12:39.220 The best after that was we went out with fucking Josh Smith to, like, whatever fucking state I was in.

01:12:48.540 And when we did go to Wawa's and was he just – Josh Smith is an animal, dude.

01:12:53.940 Just talks to anybody.

01:12:55.400 Josh Smith is – he's a black man on the inside.

01:12:58.900 And it's not even –

01:12:59.320 Yeah, he really is.

01:13:00.100 It's not even an animal.

01:13:01.540 I mean, close to him.

01:13:02.680 I mean, like, he has so many kids, though.

01:13:04.220 I mean, it's kind of –

01:13:05.480 But he didn't leave them, so.

01:13:07.440 Yeah.

01:13:07.680 He gives me vibes like he coaches, like, an inner city, like, youth basketball team.

01:13:12.940 Dude, he seems like Ben Affleck, like, when he's, like, climbing back to the top and he's got to get that flick under his belt that, like, you know, it's probably – like, it's going to go to theaters, but it's going to hit the DVD aisle real quick.

01:13:23.360 Like, he's that guy.

01:13:24.600 He's the one that goes and he coaches the fucking inner city school.

01:13:27.480 It's a fucking – like, but he's still – he kind of – he's on the brink of falling apart.

01:13:31.940 Yeah, that's Josh.

01:13:32.400 I was waiting to get into a fight at Wawa's because he would just – he would just talk to random black people.

01:13:37.760 Dude, I was trash at the car.

01:13:38.480 Like, they were his homies.

01:13:40.600 And tell them that you're cool with them.

01:13:42.780 Oh, yeah.

01:13:43.540 Like, Josh is from Oakland, dude.

01:13:44.720 He knows how to do it.

01:13:45.440 Oh, he fucking knows.

01:13:46.480 Hey, let's get that last mailbag.

01:13:47.840 Yeah, let's do it.

01:13:49.400 Benzo says, everyone's best impression of a black person in an airport.

01:13:53.220 Go.

01:13:54.360 Oh, God.

01:13:55.220 Where the fuck's this motherfucking plane, bro?

01:13:56.800 We've been waiting, like, 30, 45.

01:13:58.960 Well, I don't know if you saw that video of that woman trashing that airport, like, just – did you see that video?

01:14:05.320 The black woman just – I mean, just –

01:14:06.760 There's hundreds of videos.

01:14:09.420 There's all – yeah.

01:14:10.440 This is why the question exists because there are all these black people.

01:14:13.060 Because they just – and all you hear is just – you just hear, like, one woman going, oh, my God.

01:14:18.020 Oh, she's doing it.

01:14:19.060 She's doing it.

01:14:19.840 And, like, that's all you hear.

01:14:20.980 And then just crashing.

01:14:23.200 Yeah.

01:14:23.620 Y'all know –

01:14:24.300 Y'all do not just –

01:14:25.300 Y'all do not just ask me if I have a gun in my bag just because I'm black.

01:14:32.280 I mean, that's silly.

01:14:33.720 Hey, we're all going to make fools of ourselves.

01:14:35.680 Top, you're up.

01:14:37.400 I don't fly Spirit Airlines, so I'm not really sure with that.

01:14:41.140 It was like, I get the non-black ticket.

01:14:43.860 I don't know if you know about this.

01:14:45.300 It's like –

01:14:46.120 I do fly Spirit.

01:14:47.020 This is why I can do it.

01:14:48.020 I get the – yeah, the Burger King guy class is what I always fly.

01:14:51.240 Yeah, the last flight I took, they were – with my wife, they were singing slave songs on the fucking plane the whole time.

01:14:58.880 I was like, this is – I can't believe this shit.

01:15:00.340 I saw the video of that.

01:15:02.840 Oh, yeah.

01:15:03.180 Saw that?

01:15:03.800 Were you flying Air Amistat?

01:15:08.140 Let my people go.

01:15:13.940 Amistat Air.

01:15:15.100 Cotton Road Air.

01:15:16.100 Was it a train?

01:15:20.080 Was it the Underground Railroad, by chance?

01:15:22.100 It was like, I actually wasn't flying.

01:15:25.280 I was on a Greyhound bus in the middle of Chicago.

01:15:29.260 It was a soul plane.

01:15:31.940 Yeah.

01:15:34.320 No, we got time for Yair Cray.

01:15:35.980 Let's fucking hit this.

01:15:36.920 Oh, what?

01:15:37.480 I just said no in the chat because I was like –

01:15:39.440 I know.

01:15:39.700 I saw that.

01:15:40.360 I think we have time for it.

01:15:41.580 How many are there?

01:15:42.800 Little Dickie.

01:15:44.280 We can't keep putting this shit off.

01:15:45.940 We – like, come on.

01:15:47.000 Yeah, let's do it.

01:15:48.160 Okay.

01:15:49.360 So can someone explain –

01:15:50.540 We have a guest next week, so that would be a good game to save for next week.

01:15:54.080 Do you think it needs a guest?

01:15:55.500 I don't know.

01:15:55.860 I think it would be helpful because with us, we're able to riff ways.

01:15:58.220 It's a woman's guest, too.

01:15:59.560 This is Top's thing.

01:16:00.480 So, Top, what do you think?

01:16:01.860 Yeah.

01:16:02.120 You decide.

01:16:02.520 Oh, yeah.

01:16:02.980 I don't know.

01:16:03.740 I don't really care.

01:16:05.420 I think it's weirder with a guest, to be honest.

01:16:08.700 I don't know.

01:16:09.780 I don't know.

01:16:10.320 Kind of icebreaker, really.

01:16:13.460 God damn it.

01:16:14.320 Someone fucking make a decision.

01:16:15.340 I don't give a shit.

01:16:16.500 Just do it.

01:16:17.080 Let's do it.

01:16:17.300 We have 15 minutes.

01:16:18.100 Go.

01:16:18.340 Leave it up to the chat, everybody.

01:16:19.440 Say yes or no in the chat.

01:16:20.240 I just feel like it takes –

01:16:20.760 We're going to say yes.

01:16:22.100 I feel like this is going to be –

01:16:23.120 Fuck democracy.

01:16:24.300 It'll take way too long.

01:16:25.660 Our chat will be like Maricopa County, Arizona.

01:16:29.240 I just think it's a perfect amount of time.

01:16:30.680 That's why I said we should do it.

01:16:31.800 By the way, the guest next week is some woman off of Kill Tony.

01:16:35.900 Yeah.

01:16:36.080 Leonardo –

01:16:37.080 It's Leonardo Da Vinci.

01:16:40.000 No, it's Leonardo –

01:16:40.880 Leonardo Joni.

01:16:42.120 Joni?

01:16:42.740 Yeah.

01:16:43.140 He ignored in the chat.

01:16:44.160 He ignored said yes, so we have to do it, Toad.

01:16:46.060 Everybody's saying yes.

01:16:46.760 Everybody's saying yes.

01:16:47.760 Just fucking roll it.

01:16:48.780 That's right.

01:16:49.320 Fuck it.

01:16:49.620 Let's do it.

01:16:50.040 Yay or correct?

01:16:50.960 He ignored.

01:16:52.280 He said yes five times.

01:16:54.040 Now we have to think of content for next week.

01:16:56.280 Fuck.

01:16:57.540 We always do.

01:16:59.960 We're going to just sexually harass a woman next week.

01:17:02.140 Yeah, Toad's story came up literally this – like today.

01:17:07.820 I'm so fucking – I'm so appreciative.

01:17:10.280 I can't even put it in the way.

01:17:10.920 I got to come clean, Toad.

01:17:12.580 So it was the middle of the night, and we have a chat called Behind Toad's Back.

01:17:17.080 You're not going to say this.

01:17:18.740 We just created it yesterday, though.

01:17:20.980 It's been around for a long time.

01:17:23.780 Just for this purpose.

01:17:25.480 Yeah, just for this purpose.

01:17:26.520 It was worth it.

01:17:27.360 This is beautiful.

01:17:27.960 I don't think you realize how great of a moment this was.

01:17:30.080 The crazy thing is I was asleep.

01:17:31.300 I was like, I'm going to sleep early because nothing's really going on.

01:17:33.320 And then, like, just bombs.

01:17:34.940 They dropped – Cole is dropping bombs on the chat, and it's fucking crazy.

01:17:38.600 He's lighting it up.

01:17:39.820 And I'm scrolling through, and I'm reading, and I'm laughing.

01:17:42.100 But I'm not laughing as hard as I should be because I knew this story, like, almost immediately after it happened because I think Lizard Cole told me right after, and I kept it a secret.

01:17:53.340 I kept it close to my chest.

01:17:55.880 I said I can't say anything.

01:17:57.160 I had no idea.

01:17:58.300 I was dying.

01:17:59.080 I kept it.

01:18:00.380 The thing that kept killing me, though, is that as Cole's given the details, and I'm just like, what a fucking lunatic this Toad guy is.

01:18:07.820 And Jose just keeps chiming in, giga-chat behavior.

01:18:10.920 This is the most alpha shit I have ever heard in my life.

01:18:15.060 Jose, from the beginning, was like, this is the most Chadly thing Toad can ever do.

01:18:19.400 It's chimp shit.

01:18:20.060 And he never relented.

01:18:21.200 He was just like, this is alpha shit.

01:18:23.920 It was amazing.

01:18:25.480 Oh, my God.

01:18:26.300 I mean, it was a surreal moment just looking over and seeing that.

01:18:31.240 I know, my dick is surprisingly big.

01:18:34.780 You think it's really tiny.

01:18:35.700 It would have been awesome if, Cole, if you were just like, just after you came, because you've got these two girls, you're having the time of your life, and you just hop over there and you just finish off Toad with your mouth.

01:18:45.780 Toad, I wish your autism would let you enjoy this moment.

01:18:52.980 Do you know how traumatized Toad would be if you did that?

01:18:55.860 He's like, he's like jerking off to his fucking threesome in real life.

01:18:58.540 Dude, you know how traumatized Toad leaps over, and he fucking, like, right, and he can't stop.

01:19:04.360 He's about to come.

01:19:05.060 He can't stop.

01:19:05.720 And he just launches it down your fucking throat.

01:19:07.820 You're just like, oh, I'm so gay now.

01:19:10.400 Here's the question.

01:19:10.960 I just walk over, like, hey, hey, Toad.

01:19:12.680 Here's the question.

01:19:13.220 Say I was in that situation, and one of the women fucked me, took my virginity, and I don't remember it at all.

01:19:23.020 And that was how it happened in a blackout stadium.

01:19:25.200 Is that awesome, or Toad?

01:19:26.320 Doug, you're in your, like, mid to late 30s.

01:19:29.000 I would greatly prefer to have lost my virginity and not remembered it than to have never fucked at all.

01:19:33.960 I'm just being straight with you.

01:19:34.840 Good question.

01:19:35.300 That's like some philosophical shit right there.

01:19:38.360 Did he actually lose his virginity, if that's the case?

01:19:40.880 I don't even know.

01:19:41.680 I mean, it's better to have fucked and not known it to than to have never fucked at all.

01:19:45.820 Yes.

01:19:46.860 Yes.

01:19:48.340 Some Play-Doh sex shit.

01:19:50.480 Yes.

01:19:50.780 It's like that question about, would you rather, like, fuck a Victoria's Secret model and no one knows, or everybody thinks you did, but you actually didn't?

01:19:57.420 Like, it's kind of like that, but it's like the inverse.

01:20:00.480 If I bust a nut in the forest, but I'm not there to remember it.

01:20:04.920 Did I even bust a nut in the forest?

01:20:09.240 Tyler says, I'll replay this for the family drive tomorrow.

01:20:15.660 This is exactly why I said we should do the yay thing, because I knew we were going to, like, inadvertently riff for 10, 15, 20 minutes.

01:20:22.980 Yeah, you're probably right.

01:20:24.260 We can do it next week.

01:20:25.940 By the way, yeah, and Tyler's wife has met me before, so he obviously should play this while he's on the family drive.

01:20:31.900 I'll explain the premise of the game again.

01:20:34.480 So, maybe two weeks ago, three weeks ago, my cousin seems like he had a mental breakdown on Facebook, and he chose to target my mother, of all people, and just attacked her.

01:20:47.020 Sweetest lady.

01:20:48.660 Yeah.

01:20:49.700 Nah, she deserves some of it.

01:20:52.340 He just attacked her ruthlessly.

01:20:54.280 He threatened her with death to come to Florida and shoot us.

01:20:57.420 Apparently, he knows secrets about me, things, all kinds of crazy schizo shit, but within that, there's a lot of gold.

01:21:03.680 And I started reading, like, all of his comments.

01:21:05.840 Genius, almost.

01:21:07.180 Genius, some would say.

01:21:09.340 And I was like, if his name wasn't above this, it would be hard to determine if Kanye West wrote this, or if my schizo cousin having a mental breakdown wrote this.

01:21:21.900 Or if Roberto in New York.

01:21:24.940 This is such a great premise.

01:21:26.480 Jesus Christ.

01:21:27.380 That's why we're going to do it with Chris.

01:21:29.300 Yeah, it's called the Aircray.

01:21:30.480 We're going to do it with BK Chris, because he is from New York as well.

01:21:34.800 So it's going to be, have that tie in there, like, you know, the New Yorker.

01:21:38.820 Dude, BK Chris would have been great on that.

01:21:40.620 Yeah, he fucked up, BK Chris.

01:21:42.280 We're about to be on Timcast, you idiot.

01:21:44.040 Yo, he fucked up double time, because this was one of our funniest episodes.

01:21:47.320 Yeah, he would have been out.

01:21:48.180 Was it really?

01:21:48.880 You know what?

01:21:49.620 I feel like it would have been less funny with him.

01:21:51.440 I mean, nothing against him, but the vibe of the boys and being able to revel.

01:21:55.780 Because he wouldn't have that additional context of spending time with us.

01:21:58.800 No, that's true, yeah.

01:21:59.760 Like, weirdly, we had to save the story for a non-guest episode.

01:22:03.260 It would have been so perfect, too, because BK Chris is deep, deep in the guest digital family.

01:22:08.100 So, like, he would have been able to be like, these guys are fucking actually funny.

01:22:11.600 Or he could be like, yo, they're about to, like, try and ruin your entire company.

01:22:15.960 Those are not usually...

01:22:17.780 My only thing was, I was hoping Toad either didn't remember it, just because I was afraid

01:22:27.400 that Toad would think about this when he jerks off from now on.

01:22:30.480 Like, I was afraid that, for, like, every jerk after that...

01:22:33.860 Oh, dude, look at that smile.

01:22:35.000 Look at that smile.

01:22:35.840 He's done it.

01:22:36.260 He does.

01:22:36.840 He remembers it.

01:22:37.500 No, no.

01:22:38.660 Yes, you do.

01:22:39.080 You remember it.

01:22:39.420 I don't remember it.

01:22:40.240 I don't remember it.

01:22:41.140 You rewinded the memory back then.

01:22:42.500 No, no, no.

01:22:44.040 No, what I'm thinking of is...

01:22:45.720 You want to jerk off right now, you fucking faggot.

01:22:47.480 Dude, I have such a wide variety of jerk-off material subjects that...

01:22:53.600 I barely think of your lackluster subject.

01:22:56.620 Yeah, I barely think of your threesome.

01:22:59.580 Yeah, there's no way that my...

01:23:00.920 Yeah, like, if there was, like, a tier list of, like, threesomes that I was...

01:23:06.460 I mean, my performance would be, God, just F tier.

01:23:09.420 Like, there's no way.

01:23:10.260 I was gonna...

01:23:10.480 I thought you were gonna say out of your threesomes, you're like, this was number one.

01:23:14.280 It was number one, and in the last, it was both.

01:23:16.760 I feel like if you're a threesome, like, a dude and two chicks, I feel like it should

01:23:21.360 just be assumed this is not about you.

01:23:23.400 You don't get to be able to, like, after this and be like, oh my God, I didn't come.

01:23:26.580 Like, okay, there's two of you, bitch.

01:23:28.360 Like, let's be real.

01:23:29.580 I was gonna nut at some point.

01:23:30.880 I'm not a god.

01:23:32.400 Like...

01:23:32.640 See, I'm the opposite.

01:23:33.420 When I have two girls, I'm like, the pressure is on.

01:23:36.020 I am going to last forever.

01:23:37.340 I have actually had threesomes where I did not come at all because I was so focused on

01:23:41.100 the fun.

01:23:41.600 I just assume at that point it's about me.

01:23:43.480 Like, let's be real.

01:23:44.120 Two chicks aren't like...

01:23:45.520 This is why you don't have a lot of threesomes, okay?

01:23:47.420 No, look.

01:23:47.440 Because what you don't want to happen is you don't want the women to get each other off

01:23:51.220 and you don't get either of them.

01:23:53.480 Clint is the most, like, generous lover I've ever heard of.

01:24:00.040 He wants you to come so bad.

01:24:04.040 You care if they come?

01:24:05.340 He's with you until four in the morning.

01:24:07.640 Yeah, yeah.

01:24:08.040 I was going to say, he wakes up...

01:24:09.080 Actually, he doesn't wake up in the middle of the night.

01:24:11.240 He just, in the middle of the night, starts eating you out.

01:24:13.880 Well, I'm sorry.

01:24:14.340 I know, right?

01:24:15.540 Even when I'm unconscious, I'm still a giver.

01:24:18.160 Yeah, he's like, I'm still thinking about you, babe.

01:24:20.060 Like, he's like, I don't even try to...

01:24:22.040 It's true.

01:24:22.460 And you know what's weird, though?

01:24:23.320 And Toad is the opposite.

01:24:24.860 Toad is the selfish lover.

01:24:26.080 He jerks off when he's asleep.

01:24:27.420 We originally thought you were literally raping women in their sleep

01:24:30.560 and then realized, no, you're just constantly, like,

01:24:34.020 just like, oh, I'm sorry to inconvenience you.

01:24:35.760 I'm going to eat your pussy all the time.

01:24:37.260 Exactly.

01:24:38.900 There's a reason girlfriends like to sleep over at my house.

01:24:41.980 Let's just say that.

01:24:42.620 Look, I'm concerned.

01:24:43.680 I've heard about this guy.

01:24:45.260 I'm kind of concerned that I would sleep rape a woman,

01:24:48.160 which is why I only masturbate, because I only sleep rape myself.

01:24:51.660 You would sleep rape with them, like, in the same way that Louis C.K.

01:24:54.560 like, raped them.

01:24:55.380 Yeah, exactly.

01:24:55.880 He's kind of jerking off with them.

01:24:56.680 That's basically it.

01:24:58.220 Yeah.

01:24:59.460 Dude, honestly, I felt honored that I was the one.

01:25:03.220 Dude.

01:25:03.920 Yeah?

01:25:04.420 We're going to have, if this show ever blows up,

01:25:06.680 we're going to have a Louis C.K. moment, but with Toad.

01:25:08.840 I guarantee it.

01:25:11.680 But you know what's going to be way cooler?

01:25:13.340 Because we'd be like, yeah, okay.

01:25:15.140 We'd be like, we said that on episode 105, so relax.

01:25:18.860 A shirt that says, yes, and question mark.

01:25:21.840 That's it.

01:25:21.960 My Louis C.K. moment already happened, man.

01:25:25.100 That's true.

01:25:25.780 Actually, that is true.

01:25:27.220 I wish you paid us, actually.

01:25:31.540 Did you ask if you could jerk off, or did you just fucking-

01:25:34.120 Do you think that would be sexual harassment under the letter of the law in that situation?

01:25:42.540 Because it's a little, just like, jerk off randomly.

01:25:44.580 If I were to press charges, I could.

01:25:46.080 It would be bad.

01:25:46.760 It would be badass if Cole pressed charges, just for the bit.

01:25:51.480 Retroactively.

01:25:51.840 Just for the out-

01:25:52.720 Oh, dude.

01:25:53.280 Oh, my God.

01:25:53.780 Can you imagine if you, like, say the show blew up, and we looked in the statute of limitations.

01:25:57.620 I'll ask a life of blue.

01:25:58.380 And we stood as a bitch, right?

01:25:59.960 Because we knew that we could-

01:26:01.260 Because, like, we knew we could handle the financial fall or whatever.

01:26:05.920 I think there's probably a seven-year statute of limitations.

01:26:07.780 So we got, like, five and a half years that we could still fuck with Dote on this.

01:26:10.640 Let's do it.

01:26:11.000 Oh, yeah.

01:26:11.300 Dude, we need to get, like, really, really big.

01:26:13.280 And then right near the end, we need to-

01:26:14.940 We'd bail him out.

01:26:17.840 You just make a mockery of the system.

01:26:20.780 Yo, and then he gets one phone call a week, and it's a call into the show.

01:26:25.660 And he does.

01:26:26.420 No, I'm not sure.

01:26:27.720 I'm not sure how great that it'd be.

01:26:28.780 That's, like, both fronts.

01:26:29.920 Because we come from this comedy world in this show, sort of.

01:26:32.640 We're kind of trying to, like, we're joking around and having fun.

01:26:34.860 But then we also come from our libertarian world.

01:26:36.600 Like, that would be the perfect joining of the two.

01:26:38.680 Like, we just can make a complete mockery.

01:26:40.640 We can both represent ourselves.

01:26:43.560 No, no, I'm hiring my lawyer, Johnny Cochran, as my lawyer.

01:26:47.780 Oh, that's true.

01:26:48.400 Honestly, I was-

01:26:50.400 When I'm hearing about-

01:26:51.760 This kind of, like, sparked me, was hearing Toh talk about how he likes to still have the dick on the tranny.

01:26:57.140 And so, to me, it's like, he was jerking off to me.

01:27:00.600 That's why you told us.

01:27:02.080 You're like, it's been on your mind.

01:27:03.620 Yeah, he was looking at me.

01:27:06.420 And he was like, look at that fucking dick.

01:27:08.120 No, they agreed with me.

01:27:09.640 The choice was between the tranny having a dick or the tranny having, like, an open, like, gaping wound, basically.

01:27:16.220 Like, seeping cuss.

01:27:17.580 Like, totally disgusting shit.

01:27:18.400 We get your point, Toad.

01:27:19.400 Our point was, then you add the additional context of what happened with Cole.

01:27:24.240 I could see why he would have some concerns.

01:27:26.280 Dude, Liz is pretty tiny.

01:27:27.660 If you're pressing him to share it with the group.

01:27:28.700 Liz is pretty tiny.

01:27:29.500 Like, I could definitely see, like, Toad's jerking off.

01:27:32.080 And he's looking over at Liz.

01:27:33.140 And she's, like, doggy styled out.

01:27:34.580 And he just sees balls, like, flipping through the front.

01:27:37.120 And he's like, that shit's hot.

01:27:38.820 That's my new shit.

01:27:39.620 And then last week, he admits it.

01:27:42.180 Oh, my God.

01:27:42.880 He, he, he, like, or maybe I just looked out and it went under.

01:27:46.560 And he just saw Elizabeth with a penis.

01:27:49.100 And he was, like, he saw him pushing balls and he was, like, this is my shit.

01:27:53.980 No, this is, like, that movie Inception where they go into, like, his dream within a dream.

01:27:57.540 But, like, he was blacked out.

01:27:58.880 So, he's seeing just your balls within his blacked out dream.

01:28:01.640 And then he manifested in real life.

01:28:03.540 This is fucked up, Cole.

01:28:04.540 You know what's awesome, though, is that.

01:28:07.120 I made Toad gay.

01:28:08.800 No, no, no.

01:28:10.080 Dude, I'm telling you.

01:28:11.000 If you had just, if you had just leaped over there and swallowed his dick, it would have been so fucking funny.

01:28:16.720 Just for the bit.

01:28:17.400 Just for the bit.

01:28:17.900 Here's the thing.

01:28:18.640 Here's the thing.

01:28:19.240 You would have no idea.

01:28:23.280 He's got to come in his mouth.

01:28:24.440 He's like, you're a fucking homo now.

01:28:26.260 Look at you.

01:28:27.240 You fucking faggot.

01:28:29.920 By the way, every time Cole fucks his wife now, he has to have this image of me washing him and jerking off.

01:28:36.280 Oh, yeah.

01:28:36.740 I have a monkey on my shoulder and it's Toad jerking off.

01:28:39.700 Anyway, guys, we'll be on TimCast in a few weeks.

01:28:47.080 You know what's going to be the greatest shit?

01:28:49.040 If me and Clint go there and we just talk hardcore libertarian politics shit and they'll be like, wow, these Tower Gang guys are really interesting.

01:28:58.340 The next day we're on.

01:28:59.680 That's what I want, especially for the first one.

01:29:02.760 That is definitely what we want.

01:29:03.440 If there are subsequent episodes, that's when we go.

01:29:06.020 I mean, don't get me wrong.

01:29:06.700 You guys can do those bits we were talking about and they'll be funny, but you can still be serious at the same time.

01:29:11.520 Like, that's just a gag you're doing on the side.

01:29:13.120 It's very important that we upload this episode in particular, as well as the Plasma episode, to all of the alt platforms.

01:29:20.500 Like, we have to have a presence on all of them.

01:29:21.880 I don't know.

01:29:22.240 Like, maybe we already do and I'm just, I don't know.

01:29:24.580 You're already there.

01:29:25.240 But I'm just making sure.

01:29:26.040 I'm just making sure.

01:29:26.580 Like, make sure those two episodes are up because I want people, like, if we're on TimCast, there's going to be people that go fucking searching for Tower Gang.

01:29:31.560 If we don't have shit up because YouTube bans us or whatever, like, that would be catastrophic.

01:29:36.000 So, I'll let you guys into a little secret.

01:29:38.300 I've been driving a lot lately and when I drive, I'll listen to podcasts, but I've specifically been putting on older episodes of this show.

01:29:46.020 And I listen to, like, I don't know, like, man, I forget which one.

01:29:51.000 There was, like, a 40, oh, just the last episode.

01:29:52.860 There was, like, 45 minutes where we were talking about suppressed thoughts and shit.

01:29:57.260 And I'm, like, if we just clip that, like, 30 minutes of that and while the video is playing, I'm throwing up memes or, like, little videos of shit that, like, what you're saying, describing.

01:30:06.800 I'm, like, this is content because I'm telling you, it's, this, this, I think it's high-level entertainment.

01:30:14.620 Whatever.

01:30:15.280 I'm jerking myself off right here.

01:30:16.820 Order Tower Gang is rough because we did not know what we were, like, wanting to be.

01:30:20.740 We thought it was, well, it started out with, this is just going to be another Libertarian podcast, but it's, like, more people.

01:30:27.120 No, I didn't think it started that way, dude.

01:30:28.880 Like, the way I think it was started.

01:30:31.500 Sort of, but not.

01:30:32.640 We would waver some, like, we would, like, some we'd be more big brain, more pee-pee-poo-poo.

01:30:36.720 We've definitely leaned into the pee-pee-poo-poo more.

01:30:38.660 But we still intermingle some of the big brains sometimes.

01:30:42.620 I think that's what kind of thing is.

01:30:43.260 It's very, very limited now.

01:30:44.720 And it's perfect.

01:30:45.580 Less every show.

01:30:47.480 Yeah, no.

01:30:48.020 Like, there was nothing this show.

01:30:49.500 There was not at all.

01:30:50.440 Not even a little bit of fucking stupid.

01:30:53.260 We got into the philosophy of the reason.

01:30:55.400 We did have something we could have talked about, Clint arguing with the fucking Fed about Twitter censorship.

01:31:02.500 We could have done that.

01:31:03.200 That could have been an episode like that.

01:31:04.480 You know what this show has become?

01:31:05.700 It's, like, we're all talking, and then Reid comes on, like, 45 minutes late, and he's, like, let's talk about politics.

01:31:11.340 I'm, like, fuck.

01:31:15.240 Fine.

01:31:15.840 He's, like, did you guys hear about Jeremy Kaufman's election?

01:31:18.480 And you're, like, fuck.

01:31:20.000 Fuck now.

01:31:20.680 You got to be here for the whole episode, man.

01:31:24.680 That's the whole thing.

01:31:25.580 You got to enter the conversation where it is the moment.

01:31:28.520 What makes this episode particularly unique is that I think that the funniest shit was, like, 30 to 50 minutes in.

01:31:34.180 And normally, our best shit is the last 20.

01:31:36.420 Like, the last 20 of every episode.

01:31:38.120 I know a lot of people tune out.

01:31:39.500 If you are not able to listen to the whole episode, I promise you, you want to listen to the last half an hour of every episode of our show.

01:31:44.920 It is so funny.

01:31:46.360 We, like, we get in some sort of fucking, like, zone at the end.

01:31:50.120 It's beautiful.

01:31:50.700 It's because the liquor, for me, starts working.

01:31:53.400 Okay, that could be it.

01:31:54.340 It's because the first hour of the show is just four plays.

01:31:56.840 I need to be liquored up more.

01:31:59.000 I really should start drinking.

01:32:00.100 Dude, I'm literally the whole time, like, smoking weed, drinking beer.

01:32:02.700 Then I'll be, like, nope, too much beer.

01:32:04.080 Slow down on the beer.

01:32:05.060 A little bit more weed.

01:32:06.040 Like, it's, like, I'm, like, trying to finely tune it, you know?

01:32:08.960 Dude, I don't think you guys, like, even know how much funnier I could be.

01:32:12.620 Like, when I was younger, I would drink and do shit like this, like, just with friends in real life.

01:32:17.120 And I'm so much funnier and so much more racist.

01:32:20.020 But I just, I can't drink anymore.

01:32:21.500 Like, my body fucking doesn't handle it.

01:32:22.940 It's terrible.

01:32:23.320 I'm going to have to figure out how to do that.

01:32:25.000 I like this one, by the way.

01:32:26.720 Thanks, Brandon.

01:32:27.440 Yeah, Ron Paul Sex Dreams, the fake dinosaurs episode with Mark and Monica.

01:32:32.040 That was a good episode.

01:32:32.200 That was really a fun one.

01:32:33.840 I recently listened to that.

01:32:36.400 I'm looking forward to that.

01:32:37.580 Maybe summertime again, we could hit that up.

01:32:39.840 Yeah, do more conspiracies.

01:32:40.980 Yeah, I want to do the Titanic.

01:32:42.200 I'm recently watching through the Wendigoon, like, iceberg again for the third or fourth time.

01:32:50.940 It's a nine-hour video.

01:32:53.480 Maybe I'll watch that tomorrow.

01:32:55.200 I still haven't watched it because it's just such a fucking bite, dude.

01:32:58.660 Nine hours?

01:32:59.560 It's nine hours.

01:33:00.240 But it's so, it's such a good time.

01:33:01.080 It was good, but, like, doing it four times is insane.

01:33:05.160 I put it on as, like, because, I don't know, I go through ups and downs with podcasts.

01:33:10.520 And so, like, right now, like, I wouldn't even watch Your Mom's House today for some reason.

01:33:14.380 I don't know.

01:33:14.680 I usually watch it every, but I was like, no, I'm just going to watch Wendigoon talk about fucking conspiracies.

01:33:19.940 Because I just find that, like, more interesting right now.

01:33:22.480 I think it was actually the JFK shit coming up.

01:33:25.000 Dude, I think I might cover that.

01:33:26.820 Oh, yeah.

01:33:27.640 But, yeah, fuck, I forgot my point.

01:33:30.080 God damn it.

01:33:31.080 Dickie was, little Dickie was saying, get Adam Kokesh back on.

01:33:34.800 As far as I'm concerned, Kokesh is welcome anytime, man.

01:33:37.900 That was a good episode, too.

01:33:39.540 And then we did a huge amount of big brain time.

01:33:41.960 It was a really long episode after he left because we had him do the Zyklon shower.

01:33:45.840 But we're not doing anything politics with Kokesh.

01:33:48.360 Right, but what's hilarious about the, we had Monica Perez on, and we got her to say.

01:33:52.860 Now we're going to go on 10 cats.

01:33:53.560 Probably that she has dreams about fucking Rod Paul.

01:33:56.740 Oh, I remember what I was going to say, Cole.

01:33:58.260 If we do another Conspiracy Month, I will probably watch that again.

01:34:01.140 Because this is a great primer.

01:34:02.520 If you're like, if I'm like trying to think about content.

01:34:05.420 There is so much, because it's literally just every conspiracy theory.

01:34:08.840 And then you just be like, you run through them all, and you're like, oh, I'm going to pick this one.

01:34:11.940 And I really like that.

01:34:12.940 Do you know how fucking crazy, like, just dream with me here for a second.

01:34:16.040 I was just thinking about it.

01:34:17.220 And this is, it's, Jose is the one who keeps putting these seeds of dream work in my mind.

01:34:22.640 Because in the group chat, like, for the past 48 hours since the TimCast news dropped, he's just like, guys, my dick's so hard right now.

01:34:28.600 I can't even fucking believe what's happening.

01:34:30.200 Like, we're going to fucking get so much pussy, and my wife's going to leave me.

01:34:32.500 It's going to be a beautiful thing.

01:34:33.400 He didn't say any of that.

01:34:34.220 Anyways, but I'm just thinking to myself, like, dude, what if we could get, like, if our profile actually blew up to the point that we could, like, we could get fucking Big J.

01:34:42.040 We could get, like, Bobby Lee.

01:34:43.660 We could get fucking, like, it would be so crazy if that shit happened.

01:34:49.220 Like, that's how I feel about, that's how I feel about Liberty Lockdown, though.

01:34:51.560 Like, I'm like, I have fucking Dr. Robert Malone.

01:34:53.900 I'm judging that.

01:34:54.940 Then I'm like, oh, we got Bobby Lee on target.

01:34:58.020 I thought you were going to say you have Tower Gang on Liberty Lockdown.

01:35:00.740 That is huge.

01:35:01.500 Clint gets, he gets, like, all these big names, and you do such great interviews, and you treat them with such respect.

01:35:06.900 I want to get these huge names, and if we could do it in person, fly them out, treat them, and then just completely disrespect them the entire time.

01:35:16.100 Almost not even address them.

01:35:17.780 Yeah, no, but, like, the best part is none of us are stand-up comics, but we're just, like, we're the show here, motherfucker.

01:35:24.320 Like, welcome aboard.

01:35:26.080 You should be welcome to the show.

01:35:26.900 We're fucking great in this format.

01:35:28.260 Welcome to the shit show.

01:35:29.920 Well, I mean, that is the format, I think, for comedy shows.

01:35:32.960 It's almost weird if you try to focus around the guests.

01:35:35.460 We've tried to do that with some comedy shows, but, like, if anything, it's, like, we're just workshopping, like, jokes.

01:35:42.060 And it doesn't flow well if you're, like, always trying to pass it off to the one guy.

01:35:45.820 This is why Josh Kenny was great, because it was just, like, funny.

01:35:49.720 I don't know if Timeline Earth likes us, so I don't think so.

01:35:53.360 Well, Aaron definitely don't like us, but I like Aaron.

01:35:55.720 Aaron does.

01:35:56.340 Aaron is awesome.

01:35:57.600 Aaron said.

01:35:58.400 I don't know about you, Faggots.

01:35:59.060 I remember that.

01:35:59.980 I think it was last year's end-of-year, like, thing.

01:36:02.540 They trashed a lot of guys.

01:36:03.200 Yeah, we won their work.

01:36:04.900 Oh, they trashed the podcast?

01:36:06.820 That no one saw that episode.

01:36:09.520 I'm pretty sure they do better numbers than us.

01:36:11.520 If you trash tower gang, but no one hears it, does it really?

01:36:15.200 Dude, Aaron is awesome.

01:36:18.460 He lives near me.

01:36:19.460 I met up with him in person.

01:36:20.640 He said he would do the show.

01:36:21.620 I jerked off at History some, too.

01:36:23.500 I did.

01:36:24.260 I did, actually, yeah.

01:36:25.780 I'd love to get Aaron on.

01:36:26.980 Aaron would kill.

01:36:27.760 No, Aaron's hilarious, dude.

01:36:28.780 It would be awesome.

01:36:29.240 I love Aaron.

01:36:29.880 The whole thing is, it's a scheduling issue.

01:36:31.140 I don't really have a strong opinion about any of those guys.

01:36:33.660 I listen to the show for them.

01:36:36.100 I listen to every episode of the show for, like, two years until fucking that one cat,

01:36:39.700 Bird, starts just bashing me, like, every week for a month.

01:36:43.200 I really like him.

01:36:44.060 I can't listen to this anymore.

01:36:45.020 I love you guys.

01:36:45.820 What the fuck are you doing?

01:36:46.780 Toad, I think we need to set up to where every member of Tower Gang has a threesome, and

01:36:52.660 you have to be in the room and jerk off.

01:36:54.160 I think that is the only way.

01:36:55.220 I know.

01:36:55.480 I have to make the rounds.

01:36:56.620 Yeah.

01:36:56.660 I think that's the only way to round this out, and it has to be your significant.

01:37:00.260 Like, so, Jose, you have to fuck your wife.

01:37:02.120 My wife's weird, though.

01:37:03.280 She's down for a three-way, but it has.

01:37:05.080 It's this weird blend.

01:37:05.900 Like, she's not into chicks, so it kind of has to be an antagonist.

01:37:08.180 Dude, I'm in.

01:37:09.200 I'm in.

01:37:09.720 Like, I'm there.

01:37:10.840 I'm in.

01:37:11.140 I'm in.

01:37:12.120 You've said enough.

01:37:13.000 I'll be there.

01:37:13.800 It's, what, three hours away?

01:37:15.100 I'll be there.

01:37:16.120 Feminine chicks.

01:37:17.300 Like, she said before, she finds chicks that are, like.

01:37:19.660 I'm not feminine or a chick.

01:37:21.220 This is perfect.

01:37:22.320 So, it's like, we've always tried to kick around this idea of doing it, but it's always,

01:37:25.440 like, trying to, like, find the right place to go up.

01:37:26.960 I think toad and a wig would be perfect.

01:37:31.620 I said masculine.

01:37:34.160 Well, I have to be watching, though, not in the threes.

01:37:37.380 That's true.

01:37:37.840 That's true.

01:37:38.760 And then Top and his wife, and then some other, maybe Martha Bueno and Top and his wife.

01:37:43.440 I think that would be really nice.

01:37:44.860 Dude, that'd be hot.

01:37:46.640 That's so much Latin flavor.

01:37:48.120 Like, I fucking, it's fucking paliente.

01:37:50.020 Dude, my palates.

01:37:51.900 I think I should dress up in the theme of the threesome.

01:37:55.440 And so, in that one, he's wearing, like, a sombrero.

01:37:57.960 And he has, like, one of those.

01:37:58.840 And he has, like, one of those.

01:37:59.760 Yo, he's got Puerto Rican boxing gloves on.

01:38:01.960 Oh, yeah.

01:38:02.300 That's right.

01:38:02.780 For Kohl's, I was given plasma while it was happening.

01:38:06.240 For Jose's, he needs to be, like.

01:38:07.900 That's why I was blacked out.

01:38:08.880 He needs to be dressed up, like, and he's in the Air Force.

01:38:10.680 We got a volunteer in the chat, so that's one thing.

01:38:13.340 Wait, wait, wait.

01:38:17.260 Benzo, are you a lesbian?

01:38:18.380 You don't want to fuck us?

01:38:19.580 You just want to fuck our wives?

01:38:22.060 He's pretty gay, bro.

01:38:23.860 For Clint, he has to, like, be, like, clean up with money.

01:38:27.000 So, like, he just has a bunch of cash on him.

01:38:28.580 Jerk off.

01:38:29.180 And then he just cleans up with a bunch of money.

01:38:30.960 He has, like, a San Diego hat shit hat on.

01:38:33.860 And then with Reed, he just needs to be in the woods.

01:38:38.320 Just like.

01:38:39.220 We just.

01:38:40.320 No, no.

01:38:40.960 I think he should get, like, a Tonka-sized semi-truck.

01:38:44.200 Oh, fuck it.

01:38:44.800 By the way, you know what would have been.

01:38:46.740 Fucking over a bitch over the carcass of an animal.

01:38:49.100 You know what would have been really hilarious, though, is if Kohl's son was conceived during

01:38:53.560 that night?

01:38:55.020 It was not.

01:38:55.880 It was.

01:38:56.420 No, I know.

01:38:57.560 But it would have been hilarious.

01:38:58.740 It would have been funny.

01:39:00.620 But I don't think.

01:39:02.160 I pulled out.

01:39:03.240 I definitely pulled out.

01:39:04.240 All right, guys.

01:39:05.000 That was a whole other thing to this that my wife didn't want me to get into that part

01:39:08.620 of it.

01:39:09.020 But that was another part that we had talked about.

01:39:12.520 Yeah, I think if your wife didn't want to talk about it, you probably should shut the

01:39:15.100 fuck up.

01:39:15.440 Yeah, I know.

01:39:15.900 Yeah, probably.

01:39:17.840 Keep everything good at home.

01:39:19.280 You know what I'm saying?

01:39:20.300 Yeah.

01:39:20.600 I have to go to bed with her.

01:39:21.980 And she's kind of strung out right now.

01:39:24.120 Wait.

01:39:24.380 You guys still can't fuck, though, can you?

01:39:25.780 So, who cares?

01:39:26.500 No, I'm still.

01:39:27.400 Yeah.

01:39:27.620 I still got another.

01:39:28.680 She won't.

01:39:29.260 She won't remember.

01:39:30.700 Wait, really?

01:39:31.340 Oh, goddammit.

01:39:32.080 That means I need to leave Cole's house.

01:39:34.140 I still got two weeks.

01:39:35.820 And, like, I mean, I've almost, like, brought up mutual masturbation by now.

01:39:40.760 Like, I'm just kind of like, let's do whatever.

01:39:42.500 Let's just fucking.

01:39:43.340 Yeah.

01:39:43.640 Can I just, like, touch your titty while I jerk off?

01:39:47.860 No, the titty's.

01:39:48.820 No, like, honestly, why would you not just, like, breastfeed and jerk off?

01:39:51.700 I would totally do that.

01:39:53.600 You know what the thing is, guys?

01:39:54.840 Like, Clint doesn't understand.

01:39:56.820 It's not just, like, she's still injured from the birth, but, like, they get into mom mode.

01:40:01.100 Yeah.

01:40:01.360 And that's a weird.

01:40:03.000 Well, you know what I really like?

01:40:04.320 You know what I get into?

01:40:05.560 Fucking moms.

01:40:06.600 I go, baby, Neil deMilk.

01:40:08.280 No, I like moms.

01:40:09.500 No, but I'm so short that I can do, like, a 69 type of thing where she's blowing me, but I'm sucking her titty.

01:40:15.500 You know what I mean?

01:40:15.920 Oh, you're eating a great toad.

01:40:20.900 That was good.

01:40:21.980 That was good.

01:40:22.560 I like it.

01:40:23.060 That was a good visual.

01:40:24.160 All right, guys.

01:40:24.560 Let's get the fuck out of here.

01:40:25.720 Yeah.

01:40:26.180 I have Charlie Robinson on my show next week for Pony Boys.

01:40:30.040 I got Clint Top.

01:40:31.300 I don't know if Reed's making the one.

01:40:32.380 I'm unsure.

01:40:33.280 But, yeah, it'll be Charlie Robinson talking a whole lot of conspiracy stuff on No Way to Jose.

01:40:37.820 Yeah, check it out.

01:40:38.600 I had Edward Dowd on two days ago.

01:40:42.260 It's really great.

01:40:42.940 He was a former stock analyst for BlackRock.

01:40:46.400 Fascinating career arc.

01:40:47.560 He took his analytical skills, and now he's applying it towards the excess mortality that's been occurring because of the mandates.

01:40:54.040 Fascinating conversation.

01:40:55.160 Don't miss that one.

01:40:55.920 And then tomorrow I have on Ron Coleman to talk about his lawsuit against the state of California for first-day violations based off of banning of DC Drano.

01:41:07.720 I love that guy.

01:41:08.980 Oh, nice.

01:41:09.600 Clint, can you have somebody on that can talk about, like, car prices and just, like, the car market in general?

01:41:18.280 Eric Peters.

01:41:18.840 I wear car prices so high, Clint.

01:41:21.140 Eric Peters.

01:41:22.060 Well, it's actually –

01:41:23.020 No, it's collapsing.

01:41:24.520 It's going to collapse in here.

01:41:25.700 Hit that guy up that did that thread.

01:41:27.600 No, what I wanted to say is there's actually – if you can find it, I did share it on my YouTube.

01:41:33.080 But when I was in Vegas, in studio, this dude, like, brought me out, and all we did was talk about car pricing based off of Austrian economic information.

01:41:42.440 It was a fascinating discussion.

01:41:44.040 I can't remember his name right now, but he's got a really professional studio.

01:41:47.740 Great guy.

01:41:48.580 I just can't – I'm blanking on his name.

01:41:49.760 Anyways, I'll find out.

01:41:50.880 I was watching videos today where people were trying to guess car prices, basically, so they would give them MSRP and then what these cars are either listed at or sold for, and it's, like, ridiculous.

01:42:02.960 Yeah, but if you look at the default rates, if you look at the default rates, there's going to be a flood of inventory, like, just later, 23.

01:42:09.440 I can't wait to get one of the new Corvettes for, like, $20,000.

01:42:14.220 Dude, it ain't going to happen.

01:42:15.260 It ain't going to happen.

01:42:16.060 It's a collector's item because we're still dealing with inflation.

01:42:18.320 That's what's so fucked up about this, and I know we didn't want to get any big brains.

01:42:21.040 But this is a, like, it's a disinflationary.

01:42:24.700 So, like, you have deflation and inflation, so some assets will stay super, like, astronomical, like the fucking collector's items, which are the Corvettes are because there's not nearly enough of them for the demand.

01:42:33.680 But then other cars, like fucking Toyota, whatever the fucks, are going to be, like, free.

01:42:38.780 It's going to be crazy.

01:42:39.380 Oh, it's going to be great.

01:42:39.840 That's what I'm trying to buy.

01:42:40.740 Yeah, man, the car I was looking at, it's supposed to cost $35,000, and they had it listed MSRP as $47,000.

01:42:47.320 Oof.

01:42:47.640 It was like, what are you talking about?

01:42:49.100 Just wait a year.

01:42:49.960 There's going to be so many fucking repos.

01:42:51.900 Well, what's crazy is the pre-owned market is also still, like, the cars are increasing in value, which is ridiculous.

01:42:59.280 That should never happen for pre-owned.

01:43:00.800 Like, it'd be like, it'd be like, it's sold for $35,000, and we're listing it now as, like, 20,000 miles for, like, $47,000.

01:43:07.440 Like, it's the same.

01:43:08.080 It's like, no, I'm not buying a pre-owned.

01:43:10.580 It's ridiculous.

01:43:11.200 I just want to, I thought you should, I think you should do an episode on it.

01:43:14.780 I think that'd be really cool.

01:43:15.740 If I find someone who's, like, a real specialist, I'll do it.

01:43:18.320 Dude, bring Cole on to talk about it.

01:43:20.060 Yeah.

01:43:22.740 Cole's like, hey, could you just tell me about this?

01:43:24.800 I just wanted to hear about it.

01:43:25.860 I think that would be my, like, you send that to TimCast and be like, see, this guy can actually do some shit.

01:43:31.820 He just sits there and goes, Clint, tell me about the car market.

01:43:37.400 I need to sound smart.

01:43:38.760 I didn't do any research on this.

01:43:40.040 So when you bring me on, I'm just going to be like, yeah, that's crazy, man.

01:43:44.200 God, I cannot wait to see you on it.

01:43:45.400 You owe him an episode.

01:43:46.520 You owe him an episode, Cole.

01:43:47.880 You do.

01:43:48.280 You do.

01:43:48.820 Yeah, democracy said so.

01:43:50.020 Yeah, democracy.

01:43:51.240 You put out that post.

01:43:52.640 You said the post.

01:43:53.340 I think you might owe me one, too, because I think Cole won that entirely.

01:43:57.500 Clint, to be honest, I didn't make the Tower Gang episode you did,

01:44:01.000 so I think I'm owed one as well.

01:44:02.420 That's your fault, not mine.

01:44:04.060 The only reason Tower Gang is going on TimCast is because they said,

01:44:08.180 who do you want to see on?

01:44:09.120 And then a lot of people said Tower Gang.

01:44:11.020 So they're like, all right, cool.

01:44:12.600 And when you said that, a lot of people said Fat Dave.

01:44:15.780 And then you said, fuck you.

01:44:17.100 Like Elon Musk.

01:44:17.860 And also, when everyone was saying Tower Gang to Cassandra,

01:44:24.240 and I said, yeah, do that.

01:44:25.800 And then she DMed me.

01:44:27.320 We're getting on TimCast because of me.

01:44:29.100 How about you guys sucking your dick?

01:44:33.180 And I'll have on whoever the fuck I want because I put out that poll for

01:44:36.400 traction, and I had no intention of following through because I'm big time,

01:44:40.480 and I don't give a fuck about you peons, okay?

01:44:43.580 Anyway, TopLobster.com, TopLobster.com, Twitter.

01:44:47.780 I might have a poll on.

01:44:48.760 We'll see.

01:44:49.120 We'll see.

01:44:49.360 I'll think about it.

01:44:49.840 By the way, I do want to say, I don't know if I cut off your plugs,

01:44:52.420 but for real, big thanks to the fans.

01:44:54.660 It's like, that is, you guys are like super active, especially on Twitter.

01:44:59.100 Like, it's like, yeah, and like, don't stop there.

01:45:01.860 Like, be sure to be there the day of.

01:45:03.320 Fucking be in the chat.

01:45:04.160 Be like, yo, this is awesome.

01:45:05.900 Why?

01:45:06.340 Say we're like super active.

01:45:06.480 There are 40 fans, and there are 10,000 live chats.

01:45:09.580 I need you guys to save up now because it's three weeks from now,

01:45:12.400 and I need you to put fucking $100 into every super chat,

01:45:15.700 and I want you to submit it, and I want you to go N-I-G-E-R.

01:45:19.660 Oh, my God.

01:45:25.340 It has to be real fast.

01:45:27.060 $100 super chat.

01:45:28.880 It wouldn't go away.

01:45:29.920 They don't go away for like an hour.

01:45:32.560 That's when you just like do the cool man move

01:45:34.560 and just throw the headset off and just walk out.

01:45:37.280 You can't see him, though.

01:45:38.540 That's the fuck part.

01:45:40.180 We won't be able to tell.

01:45:41.460 That's true.

01:45:42.240 Unless you can't you bring a laptop and just like open it up.

01:45:44.580 And key thing is after, ask for us back on because that's the thing.

01:45:49.400 If you do well enough, and if they hear from the audience.

01:45:51.920 If you want to see me on, you have to ask for that.

01:45:54.960 If you want to get read on, I know everyone wants to get read on TimCast.

01:45:59.200 There is one way.

01:46:00.780 I know there's some, you know.

01:46:01.960 There might be multiple, but yes.

01:46:04.900 All right.

01:46:05.340 Let's get the fuck out of here.

01:46:06.600 All right.

01:46:07.300 Tower Gang.

01:46:08.480 Tower Gang Toad.

01:46:09.660 Tower Gang.

01:46:10.940 Next week we have on.

01:46:12.120 Who the fuck do we have on?

01:46:14.880 Leonardo Joni.

01:46:16.180 Leonardo Joni.

01:46:16.860 She's actually a very funny stand-up comedy.

01:46:18.640 She is.

01:46:19.180 For a female is unheard of.

01:46:21.280 Grating on the curve.

01:46:22.360 Ulfers has a great comedy.

01:46:23.580 He says, Clint, look at the camera at the end of TimCast and ask Kanye West to come on

01:46:26.860 Tower Gang.

01:46:27.360 Yes.

01:46:28.040 I am going to try.

01:46:29.860 For sure.

01:46:31.220 Dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude.

01:46:32.760 Oh, just do it the entire time.

01:46:34.620 Just the entire time you talk about who you want to come on our podcast.

01:46:37.360 Just call out random people.

01:46:39.880 Sorry.

01:46:40.580 We're going to go on there and just trash their entire...

01:46:43.420 No, we're not.

01:46:44.080 Tim, we're actually not.

01:46:45.020 This is not.

01:46:45.340 I'm so upset I won't be able to watch this.

01:46:47.440 I'll have to wait, like, days before I can watch this because I'll be on a fucking cruise.

01:46:51.100 All right, let's get out of here, guys.

01:46:53.120 See you, boys.

01:46:53.600 Peace out.

01:46:54.460 Love you, buddy.

01:46:55.560 Love you.

01:46:56.080 Bye, Cutler.

01:46:57.820 It's Dirkoff, Darren 3.

Tower Gang - December 23, 2022

Ep 102 - Gigachad Behavior

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