Tower Gang - Ep 103 - Everything is Fake and Gay w⧸ Leonarda Jonie

00:00:00.000 Check out the big stars, big series, and blockbuster movies

00:00:05.520 streaming on Paramount+.

00:00:07.520 Cue the music.

00:00:09.220 Like NCIS, Tony, and Ziva.

00:00:11.420 We like to make up our own rules.

00:00:13.200 Tulsa King.

00:00:14.460 We want to take out the competition.

00:00:16.960 The Substance.

00:00:18.560 This balance is not working.

00:00:20.820 And The Naked Gun.

00:00:23.040 That was awesome.

00:00:24.880 Now that's a mountain of entertainment.

00:00:28.080 Paramount.

00:00:28.720 Whoops.

00:00:30.720 What's up, retards?

00:00:32.680 The funniest 9-11 jokes were written on 9-12.

00:00:35.380 Women jerk off dicks like fucking they're an unruly ferret.

00:00:38.460 Yeah.

00:00:39.300 You ever had a 9-11 cocktail?

00:00:42.420 It's in Manhattan with two kamikazes.

00:00:44.580 Now.

00:00:46.540 You see, the socialists don't have an accurate answer for this,

00:00:49.800 and she needs to account for it.

00:00:51.460 White women must be stopped.

00:00:53.480 That's right.

00:00:54.580 Yeah.

00:00:56.640 We can stay horny and retarded longer than she can stay sane.

00:01:00.920 What?

00:01:01.160 Your ass-to-penis ratio.

00:01:03.760 Ben, maybe you could say we had sex, but we didn't fuck.

00:01:06.180 You said n***er.

00:01:07.180 Oh, Jesus.

00:01:08.420 Wee!

00:01:10.120 Fat Dave, fuck you, man.

00:01:12.080 Wee!

00:01:12.700 Wee!

00:01:12.960 Wee!

00:01:13.360 Wee!

00:01:13.680 Wee!

00:01:13.960 Wee!

00:01:14.040 Wee!

00:01:14.380 Wee!

00:01:14.480 Welcome, everybody, to another episode of Tower Gang.

00:01:18.260 God bless you for being with us.

00:01:19.960 We love you, sons of bitches, you fucking retards, you big, fat idiots, you.

00:01:24.220 I love you so much for tuning in every week.

00:01:26.340 As always, we're joined by Top Lobster, host of Top Lobster.com, Jose Galesan, host of No

00:01:31.320 Way Jose, Toad, host of Tower Gang, and Clinton Russell, host of Liberty Lockdown, and our

00:01:36.940 very special guest this evening, just proving that some women will speak to us from time

00:01:41.480 to time.

00:01:42.440 Leonardo.

00:01:43.620 Welcome for joining us.

00:01:44.640 I didn't know that was part of the deal.

00:01:46.960 I had to talk to you guys.

00:01:48.960 You don't have to.

00:01:51.520 Usually, we don't allow them on, usually, is the thing.

00:01:54.020 Let's start this off hot, Leonardo.

00:01:55.660 What's your take on incest in law?

00:01:59.740 Oh, we're going there.

00:02:00.360 Oh, we're going there.

00:02:01.740 All right.

00:02:02.380 I don't get it.

00:02:04.600 Okay, so, like, if you sleep with a relative, pretty weird, right?

00:02:08.480 But if you sleep with a relative in law...

00:02:12.120 Yeah, it's still kind of weird.

00:02:14.100 Okay.

00:02:14.640 It's kind of weird.

00:02:16.940 Does it get less weird, the more, like, removed the person is, though?

00:02:22.020 It's fucking weird.

00:02:25.020 What if it's, like, a third cousin at all?

00:02:26.280 Is there, like, a shortage of people where we now have to go fuck people who are almost

00:02:30.600 related to us?

00:02:31.880 Well, the thing is, one of our, like, the main hosts of the show is from Alabama, so

00:02:35.400 he's just...

00:02:36.120 We spend so much time together, and it's really rubbing off on us.

00:02:39.940 That's a different story.

00:02:41.560 That's actually progress for him, because he's not fucking...

00:02:44.100 He's fucking actual relatives.

00:02:45.100 He's fucking in-law relatives.

00:02:47.060 That one, I'm going to go ahead and give the green light on.

00:02:49.660 All right.

00:02:49.960 All right.

00:02:50.240 Yeah.

00:02:50.560 I appreciate that.

00:02:51.180 All right.

00:02:51.360 You heard it here, folks.

00:02:53.000 That's it.

00:02:53.340 I just realized...

00:02:54.700 If you're in New York City, there's no excuse for this kind of behavior.

00:02:57.620 That's true.

00:02:58.300 There's a lot of people there.

00:02:59.720 Yeah.

00:02:59.900 In more rural areas, it's like, well, you got to take what you can get.

00:03:03.240 Yeah.

00:03:03.700 I think that's, like...

00:03:05.320 That's why I moved out of New York City, but whatever.

00:03:07.340 Go ahead.

00:03:07.540 Well, that's an Alabama progressive.

00:03:09.360 Because you wanted to fuck your in-laws?

00:03:11.440 Alabama progressive is somebody who only fucks their in-laws and not their actual relatives.

00:03:17.900 See, I'm of the opinion that if you're in your 30s and your parents remarry, your stepsisters

00:03:24.560 are a game.

00:03:26.700 It's kind of gross.

00:03:28.240 All right.

00:03:28.960 I'm not going to lie.

00:03:29.640 It's kind of gross.

00:03:29.820 I expected you to be more sexually progressive.

00:03:32.480 I think you already know what kind of porn Clint's watching.

00:03:35.800 It's just...

00:03:36.540 Look.

00:03:38.240 Stepsister, stepmom, stepbrother, all kinds of weird shit on there.

00:03:42.640 There's a reason that the genre exists, and I'm part of that reason.

00:03:45.620 It's the number one category, actually.

00:03:48.740 Jesus Christ.

00:03:49.780 Yeah.

00:03:50.060 It's because we're on a downward spiral as society.

00:03:53.260 I mean, it's not because it's a good thing.

00:03:56.540 Wait.

00:03:56.820 True.

00:03:58.300 That's a tag phrase for our show.

00:04:00.440 Yeah.

00:04:00.660 What do you think about, like, lesbian twin-cess, though?

00:04:04.620 Is that hot or is it not?

00:04:05.720 Disgusting.

00:04:07.020 What the fuck?

00:04:10.480 Coming out of your mouth is disgusting.

00:04:13.140 Yeah.

00:04:14.380 By the way, just to be clear, Toad is the foil of the show.

00:04:17.340 So feel free to ridicule him.

00:04:18.860 I'm clearing my search history as we speak.

00:04:21.240 Yeah.

00:04:21.660 I appreciate that, Jose.

00:04:22.700 I was going to do it anyway, but I appreciate the green light.

00:04:24.920 Yeah.

00:04:25.180 Yeah.

00:04:25.340 Go for it.

00:04:25.740 Yeah.

00:04:26.260 I don't want anything holding you back.

00:04:28.000 I won't.

00:04:29.160 I'm the goal.

00:04:30.840 Oh, my God.

00:04:31.960 All right.

00:04:32.220 We ready to get in the mailbag?

00:04:33.460 Hit her with immersion therapy right off the go?

00:04:37.160 Yeah.

00:04:37.920 Yeah.

00:04:38.100 I think we disgusted her enough.

00:04:39.320 Let's see what...

00:04:40.180 Let's see how much our face is.

00:04:41.040 I just wanted to warm her up, you know?

00:04:43.660 Yeah.

00:04:44.820 All right, Dickie.

00:04:45.720 Pull it up, man.

00:04:47.920 All right.

00:04:48.760 So the mailbag.

00:04:50.020 Our first one is from Spud.

00:04:52.060 Now that Toad is imbued with vigor and male vitality with his recent Giga Chad status,

00:04:58.000 we, the people of Tower Gang, demand that he ask a woman on a date by the next episode.

00:05:02.660 A real woman.

00:05:03.920 Not...

00:05:04.280 Not...

00:05:05.120 Pardon.

00:05:05.580 It's just...

00:05:06.040 It's...

00:05:06.560 What?

00:05:08.140 Sorry, I'm just trying to read it, but it keeps getting cut off.

00:05:11.380 Not a real woman.

00:05:13.140 Not...

00:05:13.660 And what is this last part, Spud?

00:05:15.460 Gosh.

00:05:16.460 Not...

00:05:16.940 I am in your DMs, bro.

00:05:20.400 Okay.

00:05:21.100 Okay.

00:05:21.740 Toad's known for being the guy who's in a million DMs, but never in any pussy.

00:05:25.460 So, yeah.

00:05:27.000 So that makes sense.

00:05:29.080 Toad, when's the last time you asked a woman out?

00:05:31.120 Well, uh...

00:05:33.180 No.

00:05:34.080 Actually, Toad, Toad, why don't you go ahead and practice?

00:05:36.560 Practice on me.

00:05:37.040 Go ahead.

00:05:37.860 Oh, I was going to do that.

00:05:39.320 Wait, Leonardo, are you a woman?

00:05:41.920 What?

00:05:43.160 This is not a good opener.

00:05:45.060 Oh, shit.

00:05:46.580 In the middle of our transition like you are, but just go ahead.

00:05:49.440 Go ahead.

00:05:50.720 I can see it.

00:05:52.000 Hey, Leonardo, want to go out sometime?

00:05:54.060 No.

00:05:57.040 There.

00:05:57.660 Done.

00:05:58.220 It didn't hurt that bad, did it?

00:06:00.060 I mean...

00:06:00.640 Only a little.

00:06:01.900 Toad, weren't you like one of the...

00:06:03.060 I forget the term for it.

00:06:04.080 I know you'll correct me for it.

00:06:05.040 There's a technical term for it.

00:06:05.940 You were one of those guys, like, pickup artist guys, right?

00:06:08.500 I think that's correct.

00:06:09.860 You were big into that at one point, weren't you?

00:06:12.640 For a period of time.

00:06:15.760 What does that mean?

00:06:16.860 I need to know.

00:06:17.800 Oh, there you go, Zach.

00:06:18.700 What does that mean?

00:06:19.500 It's like a whole thing.

00:06:20.320 That was like a whole, like, manosphere-type bullshit thing for a while.

00:06:24.060 The fucking...

00:06:24.780 The whole, like, pickup artist thing.

00:06:27.440 People would, like, fucking have courses and shit on it.

00:06:30.000 So, how can you claim to have been a pickup artist at any point in your life and still

00:06:34.060 be a virgin?

00:06:34.740 What the fuck?

00:06:35.640 Like, you're single-handedly destroying that entire industry.

00:06:40.460 Am I?

00:06:41.020 It was more the art of the game, man.

00:06:45.400 But the game includes closing.

00:06:48.460 Yeah.

00:06:50.420 Depends on what you mean by the close.

00:06:52.160 Like, he's really good at deadlifting, but he can never lock it out.

00:06:54.600 It means the removal of clothes, which you've never done.

00:06:59.120 So, if you're going to close...

00:07:00.580 We're just a human connection.

00:07:01.600 That would be nice.

00:07:02.440 Guys, we're supposed to be, like, a little bit nicer to Tote.

00:07:04.940 He revealed, like, such an awesome story.

00:07:07.380 No, no, no.

00:07:07.600 We were nice to him last week.

00:07:09.540 No, we...

00:07:09.940 Yeah, now we're back to normal, uh, regularly scheduled programming.

00:07:13.760 I'm serious.

00:07:14.540 If you were a pickup artist for many years and you've never fucked...

00:07:18.220 Like a year and a half.

00:07:19.500 What the fuck is that?

00:07:20.960 It's a long time to study, the single art of pickup artist, you know?

00:07:24.600 Like, in the...

00:07:25.460 The way Hitler was a painter, you know?

00:07:28.180 That's right.

00:07:29.920 For what purpose?

00:07:30.800 We're waiting for it.

00:07:31.540 We're waiting for it.

00:07:32.540 It's coming.

00:07:33.300 That's right.

00:07:33.740 For what purpose?

00:07:34.980 And then because I failed at my art, I then decided to genocide all the women.

00:07:41.960 Okay.

00:07:42.480 All right, man.

00:07:42.920 I believe that, unfortunately.

00:07:44.520 But seriously, what was the end goal?

00:07:47.020 You're saying, well, it depends on what the end goal is.

00:07:49.220 What was your end goal?

00:07:51.340 Get a number, get a date.

00:07:53.060 Did you get any?

00:07:54.980 Yes.

00:07:55.760 And what happened?

00:07:58.360 Not a lot.

00:07:59.900 Okay.

00:08:01.220 He showed up and they were like, oh, okay.

00:08:04.860 Well, they had seen me before.

00:08:07.480 Yeah, I know.

00:08:08.120 They just were hoping, you know?

00:08:10.880 They were intoxicated.

00:08:13.940 Maybe not.

00:08:15.240 All right.

00:08:15.520 Sorry.

00:08:15.720 What was the question?

00:08:16.580 I don't even remember.

00:08:17.440 It was ask a girl out.

00:08:18.540 He did it.

00:08:19.020 There you go.

00:08:19.380 You got what you asked for.

00:08:20.820 Yeah, there you go.

00:08:21.440 Crash and Burned.

00:08:22.780 You know, it is what it is.

00:08:25.260 It's a numbers game.

00:08:27.320 There is some weird irony to the pickup artist people.

00:08:29.860 Like, I feel like putting that much effort into that, like, there's some weird social dynamic

00:08:34.840 when it comes to, like, interacting with women or just opposite sex in general, where, like,

00:08:39.120 the harder you try, the less likely you're actually able to pull it off.

00:08:42.420 And to, like, do a year and a half of, like, I'm going to study the art of picking up women,

00:08:47.000 I feel like that guarantees you're not going to get laid.

00:08:49.360 But then you justify it of, like, oh, I'm really good at breaking the ice.

00:08:52.380 Like, yeah, okay, cool.

00:08:54.240 Breaking the ice doesn't mean shit.

00:08:55.620 My opening is usually pretty good, all right?

00:08:59.020 You know, the guy who wrote the game ended up totally destroying his marriage and becoming

00:09:04.220 a sex addict and then having to go into recovery, and then he wrote another book now about how

00:09:08.860 he was totally wrong about everything he said.

00:09:11.900 I have the game downstairs right now.

00:09:13.620 I respect the grift.

00:09:15.060 I'm not going to lie.

00:09:15.680 Do you know what kind of improvement it would be if Toad was a sex addict?

00:09:21.820 That would be, like, astronomically better than what's going on currently.

00:09:25.440 I read the game back in the mid-2000s, and it served me well.

00:09:29.520 So I don't know what Toad was doing wrong, but I don't think he took it to heart.

00:09:32.680 It's not, like, as long as you don't take the nagging aspect of the game to heart and

00:09:37.380 you just, like, try and destroy the confidence of every woman you encounter, which is a big

00:09:42.680 part of the game, I feel like it's a pretty decent advice otherwise.

00:09:47.360 That's the point of the nag, though, isn't it?

00:09:49.080 Like, no, it's not to destroy their confidence.

00:09:52.680 It's just to try and get them to your level.

00:09:55.000 If you're too far beneath them, then you have to destroy them, and then they run away.

00:09:59.900 Yeah, yeah, it's an ego check.

00:10:01.880 All right, so you're saying my problem was that I wasn't taking it far enough?

00:10:05.500 No.

00:10:05.980 I think you're not completely destroying them.

00:10:07.720 Way too far.

00:10:08.980 Yes.

00:10:10.420 Because you've got to bring them down to your level, so Toad really had to bring these

00:10:13.520 women.

00:10:14.020 For instance, you question...

00:10:14.720 Yeah, yeah, I have to cut off, like, a foot of height from them for that to happen.

00:10:17.780 For instance, you questioned the gender of our guest before you asked her out.

00:10:21.460 That was too hard.

00:10:24.140 Was it?

00:10:24.960 Yes.

00:10:25.520 I mean...

00:10:26.040 Might as well just call her a dumb slut while you're at it.

00:10:29.700 Literally, nothing you could have said would have worked.

00:10:32.660 Well, yeah, the last time we had a woman on, I'm pretty sure I said that she was unrapeable,

00:10:37.540 so there is that.

00:10:39.120 What?

00:10:39.680 I do not remember.

00:10:40.420 I'm sensing some sparks between you two.

00:10:43.440 Yeah.

00:10:44.460 I'm feeling key.

00:10:46.560 All right, what's the next question?

00:10:48.000 Leonardo, are you in a relationship?

00:10:50.040 No.

00:10:50.980 Oh.

00:10:51.540 So you got turned down by a single woman.

00:10:53.340 This is even worse.

00:10:55.020 I don't think he got turned down, though.

00:10:56.720 That was more of, like, a joke.

00:10:58.700 I'm telling you, I can see the chemistry.

00:11:00.780 You said there was a wink, wink, nod, nod in there?

00:11:02.560 Yeah, I almost feel like just, like, leaving the chat here, because, like...

00:11:07.620 Anyway, I don't know.

00:11:09.140 I've always dreamt of being with a less cool version of George Costanza.

00:11:17.540 You have no idea.

00:11:20.900 That's what he aims to be.

00:11:22.480 He literally tells us in the chat, that's what he is.

00:11:25.380 Wow.

00:11:25.920 You guys are meant to be.

00:11:26.920 This is amazing.

00:11:27.540 I know, right?

00:11:28.920 Hell yeah.

00:11:29.440 All right, what we got, Dickie?

00:11:30.420 What's the next shit?

00:11:31.080 What we got?

00:11:31.560 Um, Eddie Grimm says, show pits.

00:11:36.240 Pits?

00:11:37.000 All right.

00:11:37.680 Yeah, okay.

00:11:38.500 I would have...

00:11:39.520 If I wasn't wearing a sweater, I would.

00:11:41.320 You know that.

00:11:41.900 I don't know if I should keep encouraging this or what.

00:11:44.300 Like, it's just getting old.

00:11:45.500 I don't know why you guys are so obsessed with my pits.

00:11:48.660 I used to have this thing on the show where I, like, would, like, kind of stand like this.

00:11:51.900 I just had this nervous energy.

00:11:53.400 I didn't know what to do.

00:11:54.440 And so, like, this was, like, my move.

00:11:55.740 Kind of, like, a relaxed thing.

00:11:57.060 And, like, it's really awkward now that I look back at it.

00:11:59.340 Yeah, but it's kind of weird.

00:12:00.320 It's a little bit weird that a dude is asking for it, but I guess we encourage it.

00:12:04.560 Yeah, I'm good with it, I guess.

00:12:06.200 Whatever.

00:12:06.680 He's paying money for it, so I'm cool with it, I guess.

00:12:08.920 Yeah.

00:12:09.480 All right, what do we got next?

00:12:10.420 I don't know what we can riff on with pits.

00:12:12.660 That's fun stuff.

00:12:13.640 All right.

00:12:14.580 Phil Dog says, fucking vaccinated holes is off limits now.

00:12:19.620 What?

00:12:19.900 Okay.

00:12:20.680 Are we just saying shit?

00:12:21.960 Phil, did you write that?

00:12:23.600 Yeah, I'm filled on.

00:12:25.760 You caught me.

00:12:27.460 All right.

00:12:28.000 Well, he's trying to act like the reason he's not getting pussy is because he won't sleep

00:12:30.880 with girls who got the vaccine.

00:12:32.400 That's it.

00:12:32.920 That's true.

00:12:33.520 I live in Boston.

00:12:34.980 Everybody around me is vaccinated, so that's just a disqualifier right away.

00:12:39.400 The entire population is disqualifying.

00:12:40.880 Instantly not, but I have to.

00:12:42.640 Every man knows women lie, so just why chance it, you know?

00:12:47.120 So, you know what I'm saying?

00:12:49.200 There's nothing wrong with vaccinated pussy.

00:12:51.260 I think there's wrong with the offspring that it may bring you.

00:12:53.980 Yes.

00:12:54.500 So, you're thinking a little too much into this, Toad.

00:12:56.700 Like, get step one first and then worry about the rest.

00:12:59.480 You're forgetting the fact that I only fuck to create babies, so.

00:13:03.500 No, you don't.

00:13:03.900 I wonder if you have to pay child support longer if it comes out as a mongoloid.

00:13:07.660 Because it's not going to reach adulthood like a normal person will.

00:13:09.860 Like, ooh, are you paying child support for, like, ever?

00:13:12.160 God, that'd be fucking awful.

00:13:13.520 Yeah, don't be fucking nobody, Toad, all right?

00:13:15.340 I mean, not that I'm not too worried about it.

00:13:17.180 That's actually a great question, yeah.

00:13:18.740 Like, because what is it?

00:13:19.520 Till 18, right?

00:13:20.640 Yeah, but they're not really an adult at 18 if you create a retard.

00:13:23.580 Like, let's be real.

00:13:24.500 After 18, they become a war of the state.

00:13:26.340 You don't have to take care of them if you're a piece of shit.

00:13:28.780 Don't.

00:13:29.740 Our resident lawyer in there is saying yes.

00:13:33.080 Tyler Yankee in the chat.

00:13:34.860 Yes, Jose.

00:13:35.840 He's wrong.

00:13:36.600 It's literally his department.

00:13:38.000 He works in family law.

00:13:38.960 He's still wrong.

00:13:40.100 You don't have to pay fucking child support past 18.

00:13:42.860 Prove it.

00:13:43.660 Send me the case law, you liar.

00:13:45.580 So are you saying that they were Toad?

00:13:47.880 What?

00:13:48.720 Did your dad?

00:13:51.960 What was the question?

00:13:53.480 Does your dad pay child support still?

00:13:57.620 Yes, but it's because my sister is not independent enough.

00:14:01.940 Okay, but not legally.

00:14:04.820 He just does it out of the goodness of the truth.

00:14:05.980 No, my parents are together.

00:14:07.840 Okay.

00:14:08.300 They would be, you nerd.

00:14:11.940 All right.

00:14:12.440 What do we got now, Dickie?

00:14:13.340 What do we got?

00:14:15.540 Benzos asks, if you woke up and there's a three-way happening next to you, what would

00:14:19.720 you do?

00:14:20.300 Explain your answer.

00:14:21.500 For clarification, it's two homies.

00:14:24.760 Wait, wait, wait.

00:14:25.740 What?

00:14:26.040 It's not enough.

00:14:26.700 I mean, obviously, I mean, Benzo, if you're in the chat, what do you mean two homies?

00:14:29.860 Like, you mean like a chick and a dude?

00:14:31.220 Because this really matters.

00:14:32.420 That's what he's saying.

00:14:33.200 Two dudes and one girl.

00:14:35.520 She means it's, yeah, two dudes.

00:14:37.060 Or does she mean they're your homies?

00:14:39.540 That shit's gross.

00:14:40.360 I get out of there.

00:14:41.100 They mean it's two dudes and one girl.

00:14:43.200 I mean, it really depends, but likely, I guess you just hop on in there, really.

00:14:46.800 Like, let's be real.

00:14:47.420 Like, if there's already two dudes and a chick, I don't feel like it's bad to hop in.

00:14:52.060 Like, whatever.

00:14:52.880 Like, it's just one more fucking sausage in there.

00:14:55.120 Like, not a big deal.

00:14:55.920 I mean, what's the difference, right?

00:14:57.900 Two dudes, three, seven?

00:15:00.220 Now, it does change things if it's two chicks and a dude.

00:15:03.160 She said two dudes.

00:15:04.220 So two dudes and a chick, I guess.

00:15:05.940 If it's two chicks and a dude and it's your buddy that's a dude, I actually feel like it's

00:15:10.040 a faux pas to hop in because it's like, dude, you're stepping in your buddy's, like, moment.

00:15:14.520 Like, dudes don't get a lot of three dudes, you know?

00:15:16.300 If it's Cole and Toad, I tell them both to leave and I take over.

00:15:21.500 Yeah, by the way, for context, obviously, I know you don't watch the show, Leonardo.

00:15:24.460 Last episode, Toad admitted one of our other co-hosts is not here today.

00:15:29.260 Him and his wife were at some event that we all went to.

00:15:32.600 They were fucking and another chick joined in and Toad was blackout drunk, passed out

00:15:36.920 in the room they were fucking in, like a three-way, two chicks, one dude.

00:15:40.240 He woke up and his move was to beat off, which we justified it because it's like, what do you

00:15:46.460 do?

00:15:46.600 You don't jump in there.

00:15:47.740 You're already in the mix.

00:15:49.180 Like, what do you do?

00:15:49.760 Nothing about that surprises me.

00:15:51.520 Nothing about that surprises me.

00:15:54.340 It's simultaneously creepy and it's George Costanzo, once again.

00:16:00.420 Well, again, to be fair, they invited me up to the room.

00:16:04.400 Cole entered a little bit later, so there was that aspect to it.

00:16:07.460 Like, I highly doubt anybody invited you into that room.

00:16:11.640 Oh, that's actually true.

00:16:12.940 That part is true.

00:16:13.660 This is very confusing.

00:16:14.540 It's like, we've dissected this for like an hour and maybe, and then maybe more like

00:16:18.840 just in my own brain privately.

00:16:20.060 It's like one of those people that's in a polyamorous relationship where you're like,

00:16:23.600 how are you getting any pussy?

00:16:26.400 How are you getting any?

00:16:27.460 Kenny, what do you mean you need to get more than one?

00:16:31.680 It's insane.

00:16:33.740 So, Leonardo, let's just say you were in some kind of a threesome with one other guy and

00:16:38.240 another girl.

00:16:39.320 Not going to happen.

00:16:40.420 Let's just say that you were.

00:16:42.080 Theoretically.

00:16:42.480 Theoretically, yeah.

00:16:43.620 Okay.

00:16:43.960 Well, we know that, but, you know.

00:16:45.040 How close would Toad have to, like, get to you to be involved?

00:16:49.720 This is the question.

00:16:50.420 I would shoot him.

00:16:51.540 I would shoot him.

00:16:53.240 It's a gun-free zone.

00:16:54.560 We're in California.

00:16:56.420 How does that even mean?

00:16:57.140 30% shoot him.

00:16:58.480 Your phrasing was weird there, Top.

00:16:59.940 What do you mean by close?

00:17:00.980 Like, physically close?

00:17:02.220 Like, relationship close?

00:17:03.820 I am a firm believer.

00:17:05.700 They were saying, like, oh, there's no way that Toad could have joined him, but I think

00:17:09.080 if he would have, like, gotten, like, in a certain proximity, it would have just, he

00:17:14.200 would have been in there.

00:17:15.000 I think so.

00:17:16.520 Yeah, I think so.

00:17:17.440 Everybody in the room would have stopped, turned and looked at him, and been like, what

00:17:22.240 are you doing here?

00:17:22.980 Dude, even if it was, like, a really handsome debonair dude, like, in that situation, and

00:17:29.740 he tried to join in, if I was the one getting a three-way, I would be so mad at my friend.

00:17:33.740 I'd be like, get the fuck out of here.

00:17:35.660 But you're in a three-way with another dude.

00:17:37.680 No, no.

00:17:37.980 Okay.

00:17:38.220 Well, I was talking about the two chicks.

00:17:39.780 Two girls.

00:17:40.500 Oh, two girls?

00:17:41.440 Yeah, no.

00:17:41.760 He might say that, but the two chicks might be like, mm-hmm.

00:17:44.360 Yeah, that's true.

00:17:45.420 I mean, that's why you gotta give him that look before they come, like, get the fuck out of here.

00:17:48.040 Yeah, but what if one chick says yeah, and the other chick says no, then now you're

00:17:51.680 at, like, a very crazy conundrum.

00:17:54.020 Is it rape at that point?

00:17:56.620 To one of them it is.

00:17:58.440 I think any scenario in which Toad's involved in.

00:18:02.900 See, look, you guys set him up for failure here, man.

00:18:05.900 Like, I'm trying to be nice to Toad, and I'm just, like, just lightly shit on him.

00:18:09.200 He was set up for failure from the beginning.

00:18:11.700 He said she looks like a dude before we started.

00:18:14.080 That's fucking on him.

00:18:15.240 He did say that.

00:18:15.840 That was mean.

00:18:16.340 If I was not a black man.

00:18:17.820 Toad, the reason we invited her on is because she's pretty.

00:18:20.660 That's, like, the only reason she's on him.

00:18:22.340 Is that the only reason?

00:18:22.680 And you call her a man.

00:18:23.420 The only reason?

00:18:24.560 What the fuck?

00:18:26.960 You are very funny, Leonardo, all right?

00:18:29.840 You are, guys.

00:18:31.280 Poor woman, yes.

00:18:33.080 Grading on the curve.

00:18:33.980 I was very impressed with your set on Kill Tony.

00:18:36.660 I'll be honest.

00:18:37.160 Thank you.

00:18:37.640 It was one minute of absolute stellar performance.

00:18:40.700 Fire.

00:18:41.080 We have about 30 more seconds where that came from.

00:18:43.540 Yeah, I hope so.

00:18:44.120 I mean, you could be, like, awful, for all I know.

00:18:47.280 Or you could be amazing.

00:18:48.220 I've only seen that minute, and I was very impressed.

00:18:50.380 I feel it.

00:18:51.260 I've seen some of your other stuff.

00:18:53.080 It's good.

00:18:54.100 Yeah.

00:18:54.880 I regularly.

00:18:55.280 Leonardo, are you prettier?

00:18:57.320 Are you funnier or prettier?

00:19:00.080 Ooh, good question.

00:19:01.100 That's a hard question.

00:19:02.100 Let me tell you something.

00:19:02.700 I recently started getting attention for being pretty.

00:19:07.160 I used to only get attention for being funny because I purposely didn't dress nice.

00:19:12.780 I purposely wore, like, sweaters, baggy stuff, because I was just working on being funny.

00:19:17.760 And then I was like, well, I can be pretty now, too.

00:19:20.480 And now people are like, oh, you must get booked because you're pretty.

00:19:23.580 And I'm like, oh, you have no idea how funny I am.

00:19:25.940 Okay, got it.

00:19:26.920 I got it.

00:19:27.860 It's hard.

00:19:28.640 It's hard because, you know, I just have everything that Toad doesn't have.

00:19:36.040 This is my favorite episode so far.

00:19:37.740 I would genuinely.

00:19:39.420 I feel so bad.

00:19:40.140 You guys know.

00:19:41.040 I feel so bad about this.

00:19:43.400 I would genuinely hate being an actual funny female comedian.

00:19:48.180 Because I do think you probably get some of those.

00:19:49.520 It would be worse to be a not funny female comedian.

00:19:53.060 Yeah, I guess.

00:19:53.780 It would be worse.

00:19:54.840 Yeah, I guess it's worse.

00:19:55.300 You know, it's the only reason you're performing.

00:19:58.020 Yeah.

00:19:58.180 Name your top three funniest female comedians.

00:20:01.300 You and no one else.

00:20:02.660 Yeah, look, you can't think of three.

00:20:04.000 I bet.

00:20:04.240 No, I can.

00:20:05.060 Okay.

00:20:05.440 All right.

00:20:05.820 All right.

00:20:06.020 All right.

00:20:06.200 Well, to be fair, you're in the industry.

00:20:07.900 So let's, you know.

00:20:08.860 Roseanne.

00:20:09.980 Okay.

00:20:10.600 Okay.

00:20:11.020 Yeah.

00:20:11.260 Yeah, I agree.

00:20:12.380 Maria Bramford.

00:20:13.800 I don't know who that is.

00:20:15.080 And then there's another woman, Paula.

00:20:18.660 I forgot her last name.

00:20:20.060 She's.

00:20:21.220 Poundstone.

00:20:23.060 Paula Abdul.

00:20:23.740 Do you see how that just fell flat-toed?

00:20:27.320 Oh, okay.

00:20:27.740 You do.

00:20:28.120 They don't know who the fuck she is.

00:20:29.660 I do.

00:20:30.300 I have these people's heads.

00:20:31.380 Leave the room.

00:20:32.780 I'm a fucking comedy diehard.

00:20:34.560 I know exactly who Paula Poundstone is, and she's not funny.

00:20:37.040 No, not Paula.

00:20:37.940 Who'd you say?

00:20:39.360 He said Paula Poundstone.

00:20:40.740 No, no, no.

00:20:41.800 There's another one who's very, very funny.

00:20:44.240 I'll think of the name, and I'll get it back to you.

00:20:45.740 Those are my top.

00:20:46.100 Poundstone's pretty funny.

00:20:47.480 Yeah, someone took him comedy.

00:20:48.520 You know what?

00:20:48.940 I haven't seen her comedy, and that's honest, so I do need to see it.

00:20:53.580 She can take a punch.

00:20:54.600 I know that.

00:20:56.100 Did she get a punch?

00:20:57.400 Yeah.

00:20:57.780 Oh, at Skank Fest, she was getting fucking wrecked by this big broad.

00:21:02.900 This chick was fucking 5'10", probably weighed like 180.

00:21:06.280 Were they boxing?

00:21:07.420 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:21:08.280 They were boxing.

00:21:09.000 Yeah, there was a boxing ring.

00:21:10.140 It was fucking crazy.

00:21:10.700 You've never been to Skank Fest?

00:21:12.140 No.

00:21:12.920 Oh, yeah.

00:21:13.260 You should go.

00:21:13.720 Did they have foxy boxing there?

00:21:16.460 No, it was like legit box, but this bitch came in, and she knew how to punch.

00:21:21.240 I think Kim was like the third girl to fight her in a row, and she was just knocking everyone

00:21:25.920 else.

00:21:26.320 It was insane.

00:21:26.980 She beat five girls back to back to back to back to back.

00:21:29.680 It was fucking ridiculous.

00:21:30.660 It was crazy.

00:21:30.920 And she knocked most of them down, not out, because she's still a woman, obviously, but

00:21:36.440 what an absolute savage.

00:21:39.400 Dude, if we ever get a comedy fest, I want to do that.

00:21:41.780 It just said rapid, just bring in a woman one after another.

00:21:43.940 I just feel like that's a lose-lose situation for any woman to enter into, the boxing thing.

00:21:50.780 Yeah.

00:21:51.140 I feel like lose-lose.

00:21:52.120 Because even if you win, now everybody's like, well, she's a dyke.

00:21:55.220 You know?

00:21:55.640 That's true.

00:21:56.420 It's a lose-lose situation.

00:21:56.760 Wait, so do you know what Skank Fest is, though?

00:21:59.020 I do.

00:21:59.560 Yeah, of course.

00:22:00.020 Okay, all right.

00:22:01.180 You should talk to Lewis.

00:22:03.080 They have like 200 comics that perform.

00:22:05.240 I hope that you're at next year, because we're all going.

00:22:07.040 It's going to be a blast.

00:22:08.000 Oh, cool.

00:22:08.440 We should do every year, if we ever have a fest, and everyone should, a different person

00:22:12.380 every year, and we can see who can rack up the most amount of successive women that we

00:22:16.000 beat in the boxing match.

00:22:17.720 I could be like, I got 30.

00:22:18.680 Because you get to a point where you're worn out, and you'd actually lose.

00:22:21.320 Like, that'd be the humiliating one, where you get like 40 deep, and you're like, barely

00:22:24.360 holding your arms up, and getting pelted by a woman.

00:22:26.220 You've already killed 39 women.

00:22:27.760 How many women do you think you can beat up?

00:22:32.980 Like, I'd say like, depends on what they're saying, like, case history.

00:22:39.580 Can you imagine if we all have a tally, it's like, me like 40, Clint like 38, 45, some

00:22:45.660 shit, top, and the same one.

00:22:47.100 We're all in these, like, and then Toad's like two.

00:22:49.160 Or like one.

00:22:52.220 Honest to God, I don't think Toad could take that big chick that was fucking every girl

00:22:56.360 up in the same place.

00:22:56.820 Oh, no.

00:22:57.120 She would have gave me problems.

00:22:58.180 She's totally not.

00:22:58.780 Yeah.

00:22:58.980 I mean, because I'm 6'1", she would be toast, but she was fucking solid.

00:23:05.800 For a woman, I've never seen a woman who's like, not a professional fighter that would

00:23:08.840 just wreck everybody.

00:23:10.100 Some would say thick.

00:23:11.360 Two C's.

00:23:11.920 Oh, she was thick.

00:23:13.040 Definitely thick.

00:23:14.080 Jose wouldn't be able to, Jose would just be like, fucking her instead, so.

00:23:18.840 All right.

00:23:19.740 All right.

00:23:22.040 There's bombing all night.

00:23:25.640 No, no, he's on his game.

00:23:27.240 No, no, he's on his game.

00:23:29.420 Well, he only slides in a decent one occasionally.

00:23:32.760 And when he hits, though, when he fucking lands, oh, my God.

00:23:37.020 All right.

00:23:37.380 Stop the show.

00:23:38.120 I'll wait for it.

00:23:39.220 Just wait for it.

00:23:40.400 Now the pressure's on, so it's definitely not going to come.

00:23:43.280 I'm going to forget about it.

00:23:44.840 All right.

00:23:44.980 We got any more, Lil Dicky?

00:23:46.440 We got any more of these?

00:23:47.440 Mr. Mailbag.

00:23:48.180 That's the last of them?

00:23:48.880 Yeah.

00:23:49.040 He's already exited, so.

00:23:50.060 You want to dial up our top?

00:23:51.800 You want to explain our new game?

00:23:53.560 Oh.

00:23:53.920 Can you explain it to our guests?

00:23:54.940 I'll explain it.

00:23:55.700 I love the concept of this.

00:23:57.200 For the third time.

00:23:58.060 This game might bomb.

00:23:59.660 So, yeah, we've been trying to do this for three weeks, but about three or four weeks

00:24:05.280 ago on Facebook, my cousin had a clear mental breakdown.

00:24:09.740 He threatened to kill my mom, me, my family, fly out to Florida where I'm at now.

00:24:14.960 All kinds of crazy.

00:24:15.660 Just saying all kinds of crazy shit online.

00:24:18.100 And I'm reading it and I'm just laughing because I think it's just hilarious.

00:24:22.240 So, it got me to thinking, like, if Kanye West was tweeting, would I be able to differentiate

00:24:28.780 between what my cousin is saying in the schizophrenic break and what Kanye West says normally?

00:24:34.340 And I don't think so.

00:24:35.780 And we're going to find out if you guys can.

00:24:38.040 We call it a yay or cray.

00:24:40.060 So, we'll have a little bit of fun with this.

00:24:41.740 And the beauty is discerning the madness from the genius because we all think –

00:24:45.620 Yeah, one is batshit crazy white kid.

00:24:47.980 Other one is eccentric genius billionaire.

00:24:51.260 Right.

00:24:52.880 Maybe they're both geniuses.

00:24:54.380 We don't really know.

00:24:55.580 All right, Dickie.

00:24:56.760 Let's roll it out.

00:24:57.980 I don't know how this is working.

00:24:59.540 Are you just saying it?

00:25:00.400 I thought you had, like, an actual presentation of some sort.

00:25:03.080 All right, let's do it.

00:25:04.200 I'll just say them because I feel like if I threw them in a presentation, they can easily

00:25:07.820 be able to tell which ones were which.

00:25:09.960 I mean, you can just copy-paste them.

00:25:11.640 I was really looking forward to a PowerPoint, but all right.

00:25:13.540 Jesus.

00:25:13.800 All right.

00:25:14.200 Go with what you've got to do.

00:25:15.320 Yeah, come on, little Dickie.

00:25:17.040 All right.

00:25:17.280 I'll step up my game later.

00:25:19.680 So, I slayed to demons who should have been fucking.

00:25:22.460 Thank God that kid didn't show up.

00:25:26.120 Say that?

00:25:27.300 Say that?

00:25:27.960 I slaved to demons?

00:25:29.660 I slayed to demons who should have been fucking.

00:25:32.780 Thank God that kid didn't show up.

00:25:35.600 How far back are you going with the Kanye tweets?

00:25:39.920 Like, as far as, like, four years?

00:25:41.120 I just ripped them off the internet, man, to be honest.

00:25:43.740 I have no idea how far they go back.

00:25:46.080 I think they're not necessarily.

00:25:46.940 He's always had a wild Twitter.

00:25:48.000 I think this is your cousin.

00:25:49.200 Yeah, cousin.

00:25:49.840 I think it's your cousin as well.

00:25:51.000 They're not necessarily tweets either, right?

00:25:52.740 Like, they could be, like, quotes.

00:25:53.800 They could just be Kanye quotes.

00:25:55.600 Yeah, or even from his lyrics.

00:25:57.640 This is cray.

00:25:58.660 This is cray.

00:25:59.300 I think, yeah, I'm going to go cray.

00:26:01.460 Wait, it's lyrics.

00:26:03.760 Did you pull lyrics, Lil Dicky?

00:26:05.940 I could have.

00:26:07.260 Did you, though?

00:26:08.440 Don't, don't.

00:26:09.080 I'm not going to answer that.

00:26:10.280 Because that's a huge, that makes a huge difference.

00:26:11.860 Like, if we're talking, like, in a musical sense, like.

00:26:13.620 You just have to guess now.

00:26:14.840 Obviously, you probably pulled some lyrics.

00:26:17.260 It's either Ye or it's Cray.

00:26:19.020 I think it's Cray.

00:26:20.300 Cray.

00:26:21.320 Cray.

00:26:23.560 And I also like how the implication of the name of the game is that Ye is not Cray.

00:26:28.000 Yes, he's a genius.

00:26:29.980 That's true.

00:26:31.140 But.

00:26:31.560 Cray, I guess you already know, so you can't really.

00:26:33.460 You guys are never going to get sponsored now.

00:26:35.240 I just want you to know.

00:26:35.580 We're going on TimCast, January 17th.

00:26:36.800 We're going on TimCast next week.

00:26:37.880 What are you, retarded?

00:26:38.580 Come on.

00:26:41.800 Okay.

00:26:43.300 We are actually sponsored.

00:26:47.480 We actually are sponsored.

00:26:49.040 We have a coffee sponsor.

00:26:50.140 I'm just saying, as soon as the Jews find out, you call Kanye a genius.

00:26:53.780 They're like, you're done.

00:26:54.420 No, we have an entire Holocaust revision episode, so don't worry about it.

00:27:00.160 It's too late.

00:27:01.900 You don't say that, Clint.

00:27:03.480 We're like, wait.

00:27:04.220 We haven't even got the fucking plane tickets yet, so we can't be saying that shit.

00:27:08.620 We're going to go fucking watch our Holocaust episode.

00:27:11.200 All right.

00:27:11.820 What was it?

00:27:12.480 It's good.

00:27:13.400 So this one was Cray, in fact.

00:27:16.360 It was not Kanye.

00:27:17.860 It was Top's completely ludicrous cousin.

00:27:22.600 Hell yeah.

00:27:22.840 Wait, is your cousin ludicrous?

00:27:24.400 Oh, my God.

00:27:24.940 I knew you were saying that.

00:27:25.500 I don't think we need the additional commentary, Mailbag Boy.

00:27:28.700 If you could just give us the next one.

00:27:30.080 Yeah, you're Cray.

00:27:30.860 That's it.

00:27:31.240 I keep telling this fucking guy, like, one word answers or not at all.

00:27:35.220 But go ahead.

00:27:35.780 He's a ginger piece of garbage.

00:27:38.340 You just fucking give us the next one.

00:27:40.580 God was on the scientific side in the beginning.

00:27:43.580 Then they showed no respect.

00:27:46.460 Yeah.

00:27:46.740 Yeah.

00:27:47.340 Yeah.

00:27:48.080 Yeah, that's good.

00:27:49.660 That's fucking pretty smart.

00:27:50.880 I think it might be Cray, though.

00:27:53.240 I kind of hope it's his cousin.

00:27:55.040 I really do.

00:27:56.160 Because then we can dissect what the fuck that means.

00:27:59.880 I'm going to say, are we playing for anything here?

00:28:03.840 Yeah.

00:28:04.300 Toad's virginity.

00:28:05.660 Oh, fuck.

00:28:06.620 All right.

00:28:06.780 I'm going to have to take it.

00:28:08.120 You start trying to lose now.

00:28:10.260 No, no.

00:28:10.840 If you lose, you have to fuck me.

00:28:12.220 That's how it goes.

00:28:13.460 I don't think so.

00:28:14.480 I'm going to go yay.

00:28:21.480 It was actually Cray.

00:28:23.400 It was Cray.

00:28:24.280 Say it again.

00:28:25.160 I want to dissect that.

00:28:26.400 Say it again.

00:28:27.560 Okay.

00:28:27.720 God was on the scientific side in the beginning.

00:28:31.220 Then they showed no respect.

00:28:33.440 Dude, he could write for Kanye.

00:28:35.540 You should just tell me.

00:28:36.100 I'm telling you.

00:28:37.060 Some of the shit that he was saying is profound.

00:28:39.520 Wow.

00:28:39.800 If I could actually talk to him without him stabbing me, I would be like, hey, man.

00:28:44.160 What I really want to tell him is this kind of shit is not for Facebook.

00:28:46.880 This is for Twitter.

00:28:47.660 He would go super viral on Twitter, but there's just no way when he's getting viral.

00:28:51.340 But he's in an insane asylum, so I guess it doesn't really matter.

00:28:53.940 This is not your cousin who filmed us and we're never going to get the tape, right?

00:28:59.260 That's my other crazy cousin.

00:29:01.380 You should convince him to do a weekly blog, and then we'll just read him as a segment every episode.

00:29:06.840 Is mental illness rampant in your family, Tup?

00:29:10.800 Yes.

00:29:12.360 Is that your family, or is that like a Puerto Rican thing?

00:29:14.480 I was just going to ask the same thing.

00:29:17.120 I'd say it's a Puerto Rican thing, but yeah, in my family for sure.

00:29:20.720 Okay, cool.

00:29:21.320 This is why you don't like Puerto Ricans.

00:29:22.520 I get it.

00:29:22.940 I got it.

00:29:23.220 Yes.

00:29:24.360 Next one, Little Dicky.

00:29:25.920 All right.

00:29:26.380 Sometimes I push the door close button on people running towards the elevator.

00:29:30.680 I just need my own elevator sometimes.

00:29:33.060 My sanctuary.

00:29:34.340 That's yay.

00:29:36.160 Actually, I'm not entirely sure, but it sounds yay.

00:29:38.240 I have no idea which.

00:29:39.520 Did anybody say Cray on the last one?

00:29:41.780 Cray.

00:29:43.840 Yeah, you said Cray on the last one, didn't you?

00:29:46.320 I was going to, and then I fucking backed down because I didn't want to have to fuck Toad.

00:29:49.800 Coward.

00:29:50.140 It's going to have to happen anyway, man.

00:29:54.880 It doesn't really.

00:29:56.060 I'm going to go Cray.

00:29:58.640 I'm going yay on this one.

00:30:01.480 Yeah, this one is yay.

00:30:03.620 Damn it.

00:30:04.500 Dude, that's awesome.

00:30:05.580 That's such a cool thing to say.

00:30:06.680 It was too deep.

00:30:08.260 It was too deep to be Tom's cousin.

00:30:10.620 Isn't it amazing?

00:30:11.560 Like, it's like, if it came from Kanye, I was like, that's fucking cool.

00:30:14.600 But if it came from my cousin, I'm like, Jesus Christ.

00:30:16.780 Yeah, they're just some asshole in the elevator.

00:30:21.520 It smells like shit.

00:30:22.280 I think either way, it's still, like, it's definitionally based.

00:30:28.100 Yeah.

00:30:28.360 Just be like, yeah.

00:30:29.200 Oh, you want to catch this elevator?

00:30:30.860 Not today, Coach East.

00:30:32.540 I'm on my way.

00:30:33.180 Well, that's what I do when an Indian person is trying to get into the elevator with me.

00:30:36.960 Here we go.

00:30:38.000 Here we go.

00:30:40.540 He's just trying to punch down.

00:30:41.840 Like, he can't get any lower.

00:30:42.980 So he's like, look at the fucking Indian.

00:30:47.400 I like that you acknowledge that Indians are the very bottom.

00:30:51.080 That's right.

00:30:51.720 You can still come back and fuck Toad up.

00:30:57.660 That's how bad I think it is for Toad.

00:31:04.400 Leonore, do you think you could beat Toad in a fight?

00:31:07.560 Yeah.

00:31:08.300 How tall are you?

00:31:08.880 Wait.

00:31:09.280 Yeah, you don't know how tall.

00:31:10.240 Toad's 6'4".

00:31:11.560 It doesn't matter.

00:31:14.380 I'm going to be real.

00:31:15.320 If Toad was 6'4", it was an average female height, he would beat the fuck out of you.

00:31:19.160 I like that she believes that I'm 6'4".

00:31:24.480 I don't believe it.

00:31:25.920 I don't.

00:31:26.620 But it doesn't matter because you're Toad.

00:31:28.840 What do you think his specs are?

00:31:33.980 He's a 5'6 dude.

00:31:37.100 Dude is about 5'6".

00:31:39.100 And 200 pounds.

00:31:44.720 Jeez.

00:31:45.040 I think it's probably like 170.

00:31:49.320 Dick size prediction.

00:31:51.380 It's not.

00:31:51.900 It's not.

00:31:52.980 It's not.

00:31:53.400 It's not.

00:31:54.200 It's not there.

00:31:55.200 That's the answer.

00:31:55.840 It's not.

00:31:57.460 It's not even there.

00:31:58.700 Yeah.

00:31:58.900 She is exactly right about all of it.

00:32:03.140 I don't want to get her to get the specs for all of us just out of curiosity.

00:32:06.160 It is weird seeing the face.

00:32:08.080 Because I met you guys all in person, obviously, except for Leonardo.

00:32:10.820 And it is weird when you meet her in person.

00:32:13.340 You're like, oh, that's what you actually look like?

00:32:15.740 Yeah.

00:32:16.000 Cole, for one, has a fat ass.

00:32:17.460 You know?

00:32:17.820 It's weird.

00:32:18.120 Go around the bend.

00:32:20.260 Give us your opinion.

00:32:20.560 She already said 6'1".

00:32:21.480 When I say what my specs actually are, so she knows how close she was.

00:32:24.460 She was 100% on the money.

00:32:26.120 5'6", 165, and penis size is bigger than what you just said.

00:32:33.280 We don't need to do penis size.

00:32:34.640 I'm not going to do everybody's penis size.

00:32:36.300 I'm not doing that.

00:32:37.200 Yeah, that's fine.

00:32:38.000 It's at least five and a half, bro.

00:32:39.940 I just knew what you were right.

00:32:40.600 Oh, God.

00:32:41.000 Jesus Christ.

00:32:42.960 It's not.

00:32:43.520 It's not.

00:32:44.060 Let it go.

00:32:44.620 It's probably not.

00:32:45.460 Okay.

00:32:45.820 Top, you've seen it.

00:32:46.380 You can't measure from your asshole to the tip of your penis.

00:32:51.720 The goose doesn't count?

00:32:53.180 Jose, I think you're like 5'11".

00:33:00.800 Go on.

00:33:02.460 Jose.

00:33:03.520 Go on.

00:33:04.600 And 190 pounds, but you work out.

00:33:08.740 Obviously, you can see that.

00:33:10.640 Okay.

00:33:12.140 Should we tell her at the end or now?

00:33:15.140 Yeah, I'll just go around.

00:33:16.100 Clint, you seem like you're kind of a tall dude.

00:33:20.400 I don't know, 6'1".

00:33:21.320 You're not in particularly good shape, but you're not in bad shape.

00:33:25.180 You already said he was 6'1", 10 minutes ago.

00:33:28.600 And maybe you're like 180 pounds.

00:33:31.140 Looks totally different on you than on Toad.

00:33:33.040 And then, top, you're a slim, thick guy.

00:33:36.440 You seem to be about, I want to say, 6 feet.

00:33:40.600 Well, you're Puerto Rican, so maybe 5'10".

00:33:43.720 All right.

00:33:47.980 65 pounds, maybe?

00:33:50.020 60, 160, 165.

00:33:52.020 Okay, the weight's close.

00:33:53.120 I'm like 5'8", but 170 about.

00:33:56.660 So you're close there.

00:33:57.800 Everybody else is just completely wrong.

00:33:59.440 But I don't expect much from you.

00:34:00.780 She was close on Clint.

00:34:02.060 The weight was off.

00:34:02.780 She got Clint's height right.

00:34:04.120 I'm the average.

00:34:04.720 I'm the only average-sized man.

00:34:07.340 And I'm just...

00:34:08.240 6'1", is not average male height.

00:34:10.240 Yes, it is.

00:34:10.720 Fuck you.

00:34:11.140 Are you 6'1"?

00:34:12.180 Yeah, I am.

00:34:13.400 Okay.

00:34:13.860 Well, I got that.

00:34:14.360 What do you mean I was totally off?

00:34:15.700 Jose, shut up.

00:34:16.460 It's because I called you a little fat.

00:34:17.900 It doesn't mean anything.

00:34:19.060 You're fat?

00:34:20.100 I didn't hear no fat in there.

00:34:21.500 No, she called me fat.

00:34:23.760 It was just okay.

00:34:24.240 You were low on Jose's weight, I'm pretty sure.

00:34:26.800 I'm 6'1", 220, so I'm definitely out of shape.

00:34:29.220 But I'm also strong.

00:34:30.380 So, you know.

00:34:30.740 The height was the wildest part.

00:34:32.600 You don't look like as bad as Toad does.

00:34:35.960 Right.

00:34:37.760 No, you're right.

00:34:38.500 The height was where she was super off on me.

00:34:42.280 How tall are you, Jose?

00:34:43.540 I'm 5'5".

00:34:45.140 I go between 200 and 220.

00:34:47.740 I go between 200 and 220.

00:34:50.240 I'm not fat.

00:34:51.180 I mean, I'm like, I'm thick as a dude.

00:34:52.960 But I'm like, I'm powerlifting my whole life.

00:34:55.100 Huh?

00:34:55.560 That's our work.

00:34:56.800 Huh?

00:34:57.840 Thick.

00:34:58.420 That's our work.

00:34:59.360 Thick.

00:34:59.780 You're not allowed to use it.

00:35:01.400 I don't know.

00:35:02.220 I mean, that's the only way I can describe myself.

00:35:03.900 I have like a muscular dad bod, I guess, is a good way to do it.

00:35:06.320 They look thick for men is husky.

00:35:09.460 You're husky.

00:35:09.720 Yeah, husky.

00:35:10.260 I'm husky.

00:35:10.740 That's a good way.

00:35:11.040 Yeah, he's about a dwarf from Lord of the Rings.

00:35:13.820 He's stout as a motherfucker.

00:35:15.400 He's like as wide as he is tall.

00:35:17.140 It's very strange to describe.

00:35:18.800 Interesting.

00:35:19.320 Yeah.

00:35:19.520 I feel like Leonardo and I have good chemistry, so I'm going to ruin it right now.

00:35:22.720 You're 5'9", 155, and thick as a motherfucker.

00:35:27.000 That's my guess.

00:35:27.320 I agree.

00:35:28.000 That's so adorable.

00:35:28.980 I am 5'9".

00:35:29.900 I am 180 pounds.

00:35:32.460 Okay.

00:35:32.820 Hell yeah, baby.

00:35:36.420 Let's just try to butter you up.

00:35:38.900 I tried to ruin it.

00:35:39.880 I am a thick Albanian prick from the Bronx, so it's a different.

00:35:46.600 I'm here for it, so yeah.

00:35:48.760 So we probably increased our chemistry.

00:35:50.360 Good job.

00:35:50.540 Albanian, so you're very hairy.

00:35:53.880 Actually, we are not very hairy.

00:35:55.500 You're mixing us up with the Italians and the Eastern Europeans.

00:35:58.500 That is not a very Albanian trait.

00:36:00.720 I don't even know where Albany is.

00:36:02.220 Well, that's kind of weird.

00:36:04.200 That would be New York.

00:36:06.260 Sorry, New York.

00:36:07.400 Yeah, Albany.

00:36:08.440 Yeah, well, that's – yeah, the Albanians.

00:36:10.440 Well, that's weird because – well, wait a minute.

00:36:13.220 Albania is right across the Adriatic Sea from Italy, right?

00:36:16.880 All right.

00:36:17.320 You know what, Toad?

00:36:18.000 I wasn't expecting you to –

00:36:19.040 Toad, you nerd.

00:36:20.340 How are they that much different?

00:36:22.000 You are correct.

00:36:22.700 It's right across the Adriatic – a whole ocean can separate people, as you would probably

00:36:28.080 know from your effect on it.

00:36:32.920 There's a difference.

00:36:34.000 There's a huge difference when you cross that Adriatic Sea.

00:36:37.060 Hell yeah.

00:36:37.720 All right.

00:36:38.160 Well, we were still – Crayer, yay.

00:36:39.880 We went off the – what we got next?

00:36:42.000 We're off the rails, yeah.

00:36:43.340 All right.

00:36:43.820 Your next one is see you next unless I'm meant to see you soon.

00:36:49.400 I'm going to go yay, but I don't know.

00:36:51.600 I don't even remember because, yeah, I know yay does a lot of typos, but so does my cousin.

00:36:59.400 It has to be cray.

00:37:01.060 I like suit.

00:37:02.000 I'm going to start using that.

00:37:03.300 I'm 100% so far, I think.

00:37:05.220 No, I got one wrong.

00:37:06.280 Yeah, we all got that one wrong, right?

00:37:07.620 I'm going cray.

00:37:08.240 I don't know.

00:37:08.560 I'm going cray on this one.

00:37:09.580 We're not keeping count.

00:37:10.440 Yeah, I have no idea.

00:37:11.440 My autistic brain is trying to keep me out.

00:37:14.480 Leonardo, what did you say?

00:37:15.840 I said yay.

00:37:17.880 Yay, okay.

00:37:19.420 It is cray.

00:37:21.720 I can't play this game.

00:37:23.520 I suck at it.

00:37:25.340 It's hard.

00:37:27.380 Undiscovered genius.

00:37:28.280 He needs to start putting beats out on these.

00:37:30.860 I'm telling you.

00:37:31.400 He's actually a wigger too, which is kind of cool.

00:37:33.340 So, Clint, maybe you get along with him.

00:37:35.160 That's a hard word.

00:37:36.640 I like him already.

00:37:37.800 But he's Puerto Rican, right?

00:37:39.500 So he's a spigger?

00:37:41.200 No, he's not Puerto Rican.

00:37:42.580 Oh.

00:37:43.680 Wait, what?

00:37:44.440 You have a white cousin?

00:37:46.440 Yeah.

00:37:47.100 Puerto Rican people are like all over the place.

00:37:49.120 I have a black cousin.

00:37:50.020 I got a white cousin.

00:37:51.180 It's fucked up in my family.

00:37:52.500 No, it's Puerto Rican.

00:37:54.900 Wait, so is he like a white Puerto Rican?

00:37:57.200 Like, is that...

00:37:57.760 I mean, I know that's a thing.

00:37:58.780 Like, you see black Hispanics and white Hispanics.

00:38:00.920 He's like an Irish Puerto Rican.

00:38:02.700 Oh, okay.

00:38:03.160 What?

00:38:03.940 Yeah.

00:38:04.160 Okay.

00:38:04.980 That's weird.

00:38:05.580 So he is Puerto Rican, but he's not like a brown Puerto Rican like you.

00:38:10.020 Yeah.

00:38:10.500 Like I said, yeah.

00:38:11.300 You go to my family meetings, my family meetings, you go to my family gatherings and somebody

00:38:16.020 has like blonde hair, blue eyes.

00:38:18.180 Then there's like me sort of in the middle and then one guy's like just black and that's

00:38:22.820 Puerto Rican.

00:38:23.580 Sounds like an average Latino family to me.

00:38:25.860 Yeah.

00:38:26.760 I like how your family's just a combination of like all of the poorest people from New

00:38:31.500 York.

00:38:32.080 Yeah.

00:38:32.400 Diversity is our strength, Clint.

00:38:34.740 That's my family motto.

00:38:37.300 I like it how you are the like the most like, you know, like mentally like Aryan, but then

00:38:43.840 you have like Aryans actually in your fucking family.

00:38:46.660 It's kind of weird.

00:38:47.740 So, yeah, they don't embrace that side as much as I do, which is why they're off the

00:38:53.620 deep end and I'm here on this awesome show with you guys.

00:38:55.620 I love I love that top is on the show.

00:38:57.660 So that like as the minority participant in whatever this debaucherous exercise is, he

00:39:04.740 gives us all cover to be racist because we have a Puerto Rican who's actually more racist

00:39:08.940 than all of us.

00:39:09.560 And it's like it's just a perfect balance.

00:39:11.200 Go ahead, Dickie with the next one.

00:39:12.980 All right.

00:39:13.320 When I saw Harriet Tubman on the $20 bill, that's when I wanted to use Bitcoin.

00:39:17.660 It's got to be yay.

00:39:21.500 Yeah, that's Kanye.

00:39:23.180 Yeah, that one was yay.

00:39:26.840 I don't think Top's cousin knows what Bitcoin is.

00:39:31.180 I think yay barely knows what it is, to be honest, too.

00:39:34.400 I'm trying to figure out, is that racist against black people, though?

00:39:37.700 What's that?

00:39:38.560 I guess it would be, right?

00:39:40.200 Like if he doesn't want to use the Harriet Tubman.

00:39:42.900 That's because he had a whole thing where he was saying slavery was a choice and Harriet

00:39:46.420 Tubman wasn't really freeing anyone.

00:39:48.480 He had a...

00:39:48.940 I follow him.

00:39:52.000 I know what he's talking about.

00:39:53.300 I read his manifesto.

00:39:54.680 What's your view on Kanye?

00:39:55.920 What did you what did you think about his latest whole thing?

00:39:58.780 Because we're going to be on Timcast soon.

00:40:00.300 Did you see that?

00:40:01.180 I did.

00:40:01.820 He did.

00:40:02.380 And he...

00:40:02.980 I know exactly why he walked out.

00:40:04.400 And Tim deserved it.

00:40:06.020 Fuck you.

00:40:06.440 Hell yeah.

00:40:07.080 I love you.

00:40:07.680 I love you so much.

00:40:08.360 I didn't like you before, but now I like you.

00:40:10.900 You're funny.

00:40:11.960 You're thick.

00:40:12.620 You're beautiful.

00:40:13.380 And based.

00:40:14.200 Let's be real.

00:40:14.920 Stop it.

00:40:15.300 I still don't.

00:40:16.640 I'm leaving my wife right now.

00:40:17.900 Jose, you just told me you're 5'5".

00:40:19.980 Okay?

00:40:20.480 I don't give a fuck.

00:40:21.500 I'll climb that mountain.

00:40:24.020 He's done it before.

00:40:25.640 So why do you think he walked out?

00:40:27.400 What's your reasoning?

00:40:28.640 Because he was sick of having to explain himself and backtrack for him.

00:40:35.600 And Tim kept acting like an idiot.

00:40:38.360 And no offense, because I love Timcast, right?

00:40:40.920 But Tim was running cover.

00:40:44.740 And it's like, you don't have to run cover.

00:40:46.820 If you let him talk, it doesn't necessarily mean that you endorse it.

00:40:50.680 But Tim was terrified that if you let him talk, everybody was going to say he doesn't like the Jews.

00:40:54.460 And I think he's gotten so much flack for being an anti-semi white supremacist anyway that I think his own anxiety about that kicked in.

00:41:02.980 And he started to try and manage it for an audience that actually wasn't there, which was stupid because you actually have the biggest celebrity in the world.

00:41:09.640 And you're off in your thing.

00:41:11.420 And you should have dealt with him first, catered to him, and then run cover afterward.

00:41:15.260 Leonardo, do you want to go there in my place?

00:41:17.980 Because that's exactly what I'm – I've had this fantasy in my head where it comes up somehow.

00:41:22.960 And I just look at Tim and I say – I know, look at Clint.

00:41:25.300 He's like, don't do that.

00:41:26.200 I'll never get invited.

00:41:26.840 Don't do it because you're not big enough to do that.

00:41:28.900 I feel like I can justify it, like, not offensively and not, like –

00:41:33.660 Don't do it, Todd, because they said that we might be able to come back, and it's you and Clint going on this time, and it might be me and Reed next time.

00:41:40.760 So don't fuck this up.

00:41:42.420 I want to go on Tim again.

00:41:43.300 I think we'll work.

00:41:44.480 If he asks you, you can be honest about the reaction.

00:41:47.520 I mean, I think you should be honest.

00:41:48.880 I think if anything, like –

00:41:49.780 I'll be honest.

00:41:50.240 We'll ball to the wall because there's going to be people watching that who are going to fuck with you because of that.

00:41:54.940 I would have no choice, but to be honest.

00:41:56.540 I don't know how to fucking lie, but I'm definitely not going to bring it up.

00:41:59.660 Oh, for Clint, I'm sure you could figure out how to lie.

00:42:02.180 Leonard, are you Ted Kaczynski-pilled?

00:42:04.100 Are you Kaczynski-pilled?

00:42:04.940 I am Kaczynski-pilled.

00:42:06.640 Are you a libertarian?

00:42:08.440 I am not a libertarian.

00:42:09.740 Yeah, you are.

00:42:10.680 Yeah.

00:42:10.860 Good for you.

00:42:11.540 Me neither at this point.

00:42:13.820 Why are you not?

00:42:16.560 Politics is gay.

00:42:17.720 You like war?

00:42:19.180 No, I don't like war, but I do think that you need to have a hierarchical structure for humans to follow.

00:42:26.720 I think without that, they are going to get led by whoever is the most convincing, has the most money,

00:42:31.640 can run the most propaganda psyops, which is what's happening right now because we kind

00:42:35.940 of live in a bit of a libertarian society.

00:42:38.420 Oh, okay.

00:42:39.660 You were nailing it?

00:42:41.080 You were nailing it?

00:42:41.540 You were so close.

00:42:42.600 Yeah, we don't live in libertarians.

00:42:43.500 I do.

00:42:43.900 I think so.

00:42:44.520 I think we have a little bit of that in our culture.

00:42:47.180 We have the biggest government in the history of the fucking world.

00:42:49.800 Okay, yeah.

00:42:50.820 We're also allowed to do a lot of shit that, you know, in a traditional morally structured

00:42:56.200 society, wouldn't be okay.

00:42:58.300 But that, I mean, yeah, okay.

00:42:59.940 I guess.

00:43:00.440 Yeah.

00:43:01.160 Drugs.

00:43:02.320 Hell yeah.

00:43:03.700 These are two classic examples where we're kind of, we're following the libertarian thing.

00:43:09.280 Like, if you're not hurting anybody else, you could do it.

00:43:11.540 You're not actually looking at the impact on society and the fact that you are hurting

00:43:16.320 lots of people.

00:43:17.620 Yeah, but those things are illegal.

00:43:19.100 So I can't say it's a libertarian thing.

00:43:20.480 Well, porn and drugs are not illegal.

00:43:23.240 It depends on who.

00:43:24.460 Which drugs are.

00:43:25.660 No, there's a whole spectrum of drugs that are being taken off the schedule, and I think

00:43:31.000 they're going to keep going.

00:43:32.160 Look, and here's the thing.

00:43:32.980 See, Leonardo, you're going to make me fucking go back.

00:43:35.040 So this show started off as like a libertarian show, and I made it a point.

00:43:39.700 We've all made it a point to say, like, no more big brain stuff because it's gay.

00:43:45.040 It's fake and gay.

00:43:45.980 But now I have to address this.

00:43:48.140 And most of us have our own separate serious shows anyways.

00:43:50.580 So this is like our-

00:43:51.320 We've been talking about doing a big brain, big brain time show.

00:43:55.560 But I sympathize with what you're saying about, like, the drug culture in America because

00:44:01.020 it does seem, like, rampant and out of control.

00:44:03.100 But I think the correct libertarian answer, not the bullshit that you're reading, Cato,

00:44:07.540 would be, like, one of the main issues underpinning this culture and society is the drug war.

00:44:15.020 I mean, it's the fathers being locked up.

00:44:17.180 It's people being imprisoned.

00:44:18.320 And it's the ramifications of that.

00:44:20.740 And then that kind of, like, has, like, a haptic feedback loop right back into drugs.

00:44:25.000 And that's when you get a culture and society that we live in rather than-

00:44:28.860 Yeah.

00:44:29.020 Go ahead, Clint.

00:44:29.400 I was just going to say, wait, I think-

00:44:31.820 Or it's not like Amsterdam has it all together and you have, like, porn and drugs totally

00:44:38.240 free for all there.

00:44:40.420 That's true.

00:44:40.900 I definitely think they should make porn illegal so that I have way more free time.

00:44:46.340 No, I think you're just going to say-

00:44:47.440 That's all right.

00:44:47.920 That's okay.

00:44:48.400 That was pretty easy.

00:44:50.320 Sorry.

00:44:50.640 Toad, you know, if you quit porn, you'd probably become more attractive to women.

00:44:56.120 I mean, no, that's true.

00:44:57.960 No, I'm just kidding.

00:44:58.860 Nothing's going to help you.

00:45:00.920 Do you think that there is something to that?

00:45:03.120 Like, I know if you're in a relationship with a woman and you're around other women, they

00:45:07.520 do find that more attractive, whether they know it or not.

00:45:09.780 So do women pick up on, like, if a guy's beating off constantly?

00:45:13.380 Yes.

00:45:13.920 It's, we can't tell you, oh, I know that I don't like this guy because he's masturbating,

00:45:20.160 but we do.

00:45:21.760 We get it because you can't control your urges.

00:45:24.800 And then we know that and it's kind of gross and you're just, like, indulging in every-

00:45:28.180 And then also your whole dopamine receptors are fried.

00:45:30.680 The way you have sex with a woman, it's so apparent that all you do is watch porn or that-

00:45:35.860 They smell it on you.

00:45:36.640 That's where you, like, learn your stuff and it's really gross.

00:45:40.420 What's the move in bed that tells you that the guy's a porn addict?

00:45:43.600 Good question.

00:45:44.800 Jackhammer.

00:45:47.360 It's usually when I'm in the middle of a threesome and Toad's in the corner whacking.

00:45:52.620 There's some porn involved somehow.

00:45:54.760 Oh, clip that.

00:45:58.060 Put that on a t-shirt.

00:46:00.420 Oh, man.

00:46:01.260 I was going to say really quickly, though, that Leonardo was talking about the need for there to be a hierarchy,

00:46:07.460 and that is not anti-libertarian.

00:46:11.180 It's not an anti-libertarian point.

00:46:12.880 No, it's not.

00:46:13.540 Yeah, we definitely need hierarchy.

00:46:15.240 We just believe in natural hierarchy as opposed to state-based hierarchy,

00:46:20.320 because then you end up with fucking absolute con artists like Anthony Fauci

00:46:24.340 at the highest levels of our medical establishment.

00:46:26.380 You need the national hierarchy like we have on the show, which is why I am at the bottom of it.

00:46:32.020 That was just kind of sad.

00:46:33.420 Now I said that.

00:46:34.500 Grab my computer charger real quick.

00:46:36.040 It's a little dicky now, though.

00:46:37.860 Go for it.

00:46:38.620 Sure.

00:46:39.800 All right.

00:46:40.720 All right.

00:46:41.200 I was hoping the mirror was going to show us her backside, but didn't happen.

00:46:46.240 The angle's not right.

00:46:47.880 No, this is why I used to wear sweaters on stage.

00:46:51.160 That's exactly why.

00:46:52.420 Leonardo, I'm sorry.

00:46:54.200 I'm just checking you out.

00:46:55.360 All right?

00:46:55.840 People used to have to focus on my comedy clip.

00:47:05.280 Now I'm distracted.

00:47:06.720 They're like, I don't know if I want to laugh or I want to fuck her.

00:47:09.280 And I'm like, boys, boys, it's both.

00:47:12.360 Yeah.

00:47:12.940 Oh, no, it's definitely both, obviously.

00:47:15.160 It's very much different.

00:47:16.540 You're not a libertarian.

00:47:18.960 What would you consider yourself?

00:47:20.560 You sound like a conservative.

00:47:22.040 She sounds like a conspiratorian.

00:47:24.280 I don't know.

00:47:24.900 I don't know.

00:47:25.580 I don't know if I would fit into a category.

00:47:28.440 I have no idea.

00:47:29.080 I think people are just fucked all the time.

00:47:31.100 And no matter what system we come up with, we're going to bring our, you know.

00:47:36.480 What the fuck was that?

00:47:38.880 Somebody using toads.

00:47:40.120 Like, toads kidnapped a woman.

00:47:41.440 Yeah, there's the child in my basement.

00:47:43.940 Let me out.

00:47:45.060 I think we're going to corrupt any system, but I don't think that means that we shouldn't

00:47:50.580 have a system.

00:47:51.780 I mean, I'm a, like, I'm a big fan of, like, people following a religion.

00:47:57.560 I'm a big fan of that.

00:47:58.440 I don't, I think you should follow something that calls you, number one, that you have to

00:48:02.260 answer to a higher authority.

00:48:03.520 That it's between you and that authority.

00:48:05.920 I don't think we need to have, like, you know, some kind of, like, authoritarian religion

00:48:10.480 based system based on that.

00:48:11.920 Because I think that's, that defeats the purpose of what, like, true religion's about.

00:48:15.660 Right.

00:48:15.840 That authority should be God and it should not be the government.

00:48:18.760 It should not be the government.

00:48:18.960 You're a Christian anarchist.

00:48:20.520 Fucking based.

00:48:21.280 I don't, I don't know.

00:48:22.360 I just, I think that if you don't have something to answer to, there's a lot of ways you can

00:48:26.860 let yourself off the hook and you just don't aspire to high, like, a lot of times people

00:48:31.040 say things like, oh, religion is meant to control people.

00:48:33.380 And I think that's people who have, like, a sort of cursory understanding of religion

00:48:37.720 who haven't really kind of looked at what it's trying to do for you.

00:48:41.300 And my experience with that is that it's trying to free you from compulsions that we

00:48:47.060 can easily, that can easily become addictions for us.

00:48:50.980 Yeah.

00:48:51.260 By the way, I asked you about the Kaczynski thing because your whole, your whole little

00:48:54.980 diatribe about the, about the Tim Kass thing, which I completely agree with, is straight

00:48:59.660 up Kaczynski.

00:49:00.360 Like, that's Kaczynski describing leftists.

00:49:02.600 The idea that they, the concept is that they will, like, say something like slavery.

00:49:06.640 They will take something that's already been established.

00:49:08.920 The mass majority of people are like, yeah, bad.

00:49:11.200 And they'll bend over backwards to be like, that's bad.

00:49:13.640 That's bad.

00:49:14.120 We can't do that.

00:49:14.600 That's bad.

00:49:15.040 And, and that's kind of, and if they, if it comes up in conversation, they have to

00:49:20.040 emphasize how it's bad.

00:49:22.060 Doesn't, doesn't that make you want to do slavery so much more though?

00:49:26.580 Ironically, yes.

00:49:27.340 I'm like, it's just.

00:49:28.660 Dude, I feel like he's just trying to find excuses to, like, put his cousin in chains.

00:49:32.840 He's like, don't do slavery again.

00:49:37.020 That's, that's the origin, that's the origin of virtue signaling.

00:49:39.840 And, and I think that's part of the reason I, I, I, I mean, I am a libertarian, obviously.

00:49:45.720 And I, I personally believe that it's a cultural issue that we're dealing with on, on so many

00:49:50.560 levels that it's like almost unfixable.

00:49:55.160 So I understand why people are turning towards state solutions.

00:49:58.340 Yeah, the only way you could fix it was, is with mass vaccination.

00:50:02.000 Yes, but I just, I just, I just hate it when, when it's blamed on libertarianism, when we

00:50:07.240 have the biggest state ever.

00:50:08.780 And I'm like, that's so counter to what we're.

00:50:11.840 But it's your fault.

00:50:13.200 It's not, it was not Clint's fault.

00:50:14.360 Cause there's a lot of libertarians that are just so gay.

00:50:18.040 And those are the ones that you hear.

00:50:20.080 And, but I mean, Clint's not like that.

00:50:22.220 The libertarians I fuck with are not like that, but most of them that you will hear are.

00:50:27.040 I like him.

00:50:28.340 She just said she likes Ron Paul.

00:50:29.860 We're getting married.

00:50:30.700 What you were describing was libertarianism.

00:50:34.900 No, no, we, we love Ron Paul.

00:50:37.280 I love Ron Paul.

00:50:37.980 I think he's really intelligent and he's like, it's, he seems like a guy with a moral compass.

00:50:42.840 I mean, that's the thing for me.

00:50:43.920 It's like, I don't, if you don't have a moral compass, I don't trust you.

00:50:46.780 Would you fuck Ron Paul?

00:50:47.440 He's a conservative libertarian.

00:50:49.620 Absolutely.

00:50:50.760 Second woman on our show.

00:50:52.620 Ron Paul could get it.

00:50:54.400 Okay.

00:50:54.640 When he's young, dude, he was a handsome fella.

00:50:58.420 I'm not going to lie.

00:50:59.360 Young, old.

00:51:00.880 I'm down for Ron Paul.

00:51:02.240 That's all I'll say.

00:51:02.960 Down to clown.

00:51:04.280 All right.

00:51:05.000 You got some more dickies.

00:51:06.120 Let's get out of this big brain faggotry.

00:51:07.440 What do we got?

00:51:09.300 Um, all right.

00:51:10.300 So our next one is I'm not fucking bluffing.

00:51:12.840 I got airfare.

00:51:14.980 That's, that's, that's cray.

00:51:16.420 That's cray.

00:51:17.520 That's yay.

00:51:18.780 Cray.

00:51:19.220 That one is cray.

00:51:22.300 Oh yeah.

00:51:23.440 That was when, that was right after he threatened to kill me.

00:51:25.760 I just think your cousin is Kanye.

00:51:27.740 I think your cousin.

00:51:29.380 Do you see, do you see how like dangerous and close?

00:51:32.040 I think Kanye West was like, motherfuckers can't ban me.

00:51:36.420 I'm going to pretend to be Top Lobster's cousin.

00:51:38.900 I'm going to threaten to kill him just so they're not onto my case.

00:51:44.420 What if that's Kanye's burner account?

00:51:47.620 That is what Jordan Peterson really is on.

00:51:50.860 A crusade against Kanye's bajillion fucking non-accounts.

00:51:53.660 That's what it is.

00:51:54.640 Yeah.

00:51:54.840 Yep.

00:51:55.360 Yep.

00:51:55.760 All right.

00:51:56.320 Uh, what else we got, Dickie?

00:51:59.000 All right.

00:51:59.700 Our next one is a bad bitch once told me to never be sorry.

00:52:04.340 That's it.

00:52:05.300 Whoa.

00:52:07.520 But it could be either, really.

00:52:09.160 Someone suffering from mental illness could definitely say that, but I'm going to say yay.

00:52:12.160 That sounds like a yay line.

00:52:14.220 Ooh.

00:52:14.860 Sounds like something a bad bitch would say.

00:52:16.240 It's pretty dope.

00:52:17.420 I'm going to go yay, but this one is, this is the most difficult one so far for me.

00:52:22.060 I think even though I got one of them wrong.

00:52:24.580 Yeah.

00:52:24.960 This was cray.

00:52:26.420 Oh, bro.

00:52:28.700 Dude, that's it.

00:52:29.580 This is confirmed.

00:52:30.820 Damn it.

00:52:31.000 I didn't realize how hard this game would be.

00:52:33.300 I thought it would be good, but like now as he's reading, I'm like, I don't even remember.

00:52:37.140 This is fucking good.

00:52:37.900 That's why it is good.

00:52:40.420 All right, Dickie.

00:52:40.980 We got to fuck with my cousin's meds more often.

00:52:43.040 Can we get your cousin on the show?

00:52:45.620 Can we get your cousin on the show?

00:52:47.040 No.

00:52:47.780 No, no, no.

00:52:48.420 Please.

00:52:49.020 That would be amazing.

00:52:50.240 I'm going to make a t-shirt.

00:52:50.300 I'm going to make a t-shirt with that.

00:52:51.780 That's what you told me.

00:52:52.980 Wait, wait.

00:52:53.500 That's what I'm sorry.

00:52:55.080 Hell yeah.

00:52:55.540 Did we ever contact, do you remember that guy?

00:52:58.720 The guy of the shooter?

00:52:59.780 No, the guy who was like a Hitler-worshipping serial killer or something.

00:53:03.780 That shit was found in that guy's house.

00:53:06.120 I was like, I found him on Facebook and I was like, should we invite him on?

00:53:09.720 I don't know.

00:53:10.760 It got really dark to where I'm like, I don't even know if I could make this funny.

00:53:13.460 This is weird.

00:53:14.380 That got really fucked up.

00:53:16.260 But I do want to get the father of that shooter.

00:53:19.520 The gay club that he showed up?

00:53:21.660 I don't remember.

00:53:22.980 Yes.

00:53:23.480 If you haven't seen it, Leonardo, you have to look it up.

00:53:25.340 What's his name, Clint?

00:53:26.920 You remember?

00:53:27.300 I know you were looking to him.

00:53:28.560 It was Brink, right?

00:53:31.440 Aaron Brink.

00:53:31.720 Aaron Brink.

00:53:32.880 Aaron Brink, yeah.

00:53:34.340 He was the dad of the shooter of whatever that gay thing was a while ago.

00:53:38.980 I mean, that was Colorado Springs.

00:53:41.260 That guy was a little.

00:53:42.820 Leonardo is a fucking bass.

00:53:44.440 I don't know.

00:53:45.280 We looked at him.

00:53:45.920 That was a sigh of.

00:53:47.040 With him coming out and being like, oh, I'm just glad he's not gay.

00:53:49.880 Give me a break.

00:53:50.940 I don't know.

00:53:51.280 When you look into his background, you're like, I don't know.

00:53:53.800 This one could be organic.

00:53:55.200 The dude's so fucking wild.

00:53:56.800 It is insane when you start digging into this guy's bass.

00:53:59.720 I think the CIA gets these people young, man.

00:54:01.500 I would actually, I go even deeper than that.

00:54:04.440 I think he looks straight up out of a fucking human farm.

00:54:06.820 They just fucking farm these.

00:54:08.340 They create these clones.

00:54:09.420 They pump them out.

00:54:10.200 And then they go blend in.

00:54:11.820 You know, they put them in.

00:54:12.540 They plug them in.

00:54:13.080 They give them a whole.

00:54:13.760 They own all the databases.

00:54:15.360 They can just write whatever the fuck they want about them.

00:54:17.300 I respect it.

00:54:18.060 I mean, I also think it's just as likely, too, that he is a crazy person.

00:54:21.540 And then the feds came to him and were like, hey, you want like 300 bucks?

00:54:26.440 That could be true, too.

00:54:28.440 The part that I definitely think is a psyop is whatever his dad said.

00:54:31.700 I'm like, that is scripted.

00:54:33.580 Oh, no.

00:54:34.600 That's the only real part.

00:54:37.080 I think so, too.

00:54:38.760 Yeah.

00:54:39.560 Him coming out and being like, thank God my son's not gay.

00:54:42.620 He's like, your son killed five people last night.

00:54:45.380 And he's like, he was at a gay club.

00:54:48.640 He's like, what the fuck?

00:54:50.560 Why do you guys have me here?

00:54:52.200 He's not gay.

00:54:52.600 This dude is a former MMA fighter and porn star.

00:54:56.600 And he was on Intervention because I think he was a meth addict as well.

00:55:01.200 And he masturbated over 30 times.

00:55:03.220 No, no.

00:55:03.560 That was me.

00:55:04.260 This guy said that he watched porn for 15 hours straight or something like that.

00:55:08.880 Is that what it was?

00:55:09.700 Something ridiculous.

00:55:10.420 He was a porn maker, too.

00:55:11.840 I mean, dude, all those guys in that industry are just...

00:55:15.020 I mean, Hugh Hefner was a CIA agent.

00:55:18.480 Whoa.

00:55:19.080 Yeah, I actually...

00:55:20.060 I mean, I don't know if I'd say he's an agent.

00:55:21.160 He was at least like an asset.

00:55:22.460 Like, let's be real.

00:55:23.120 Yeah, right.

00:55:23.700 For what purpose?

00:55:25.920 He would take the playmates and get them to fuck powerful people and black men?

00:55:30.520 Yeah.

00:55:31.080 And then the pushing of the pornography lifestyle is creating this sort of James Bond-esque persona.

00:55:37.560 Damn, I've never heard that one, but it makes perfect sense.

00:55:40.060 Holy shit.

00:55:40.640 The more people jerk off, the less they think about the Jews.

00:55:43.280 He's the original Epstein.

00:55:44.820 Dude, Hugh Hefstein is what I was just about to say.

00:55:47.880 Yeah.

00:55:49.160 All right, we got any more, Dickie?

00:55:50.720 What the fuck?

00:55:51.560 Okay.

00:55:52.080 This is Aaron Brink.

00:55:53.100 By the way, we also played a clips of him.

00:55:56.280 He paid a bunch of people to kick him in the balls.

00:55:59.140 Yeah.

00:56:00.140 That dude looks like a guy that would do meth and jerk off.

00:56:03.100 It's like if me and Josh Brolin had a baby.

00:56:05.800 That's what he looks like.

00:56:08.560 He's a beautiful man.

00:56:10.000 Yeah.

00:56:10.660 Jose has given himself too much credit.

00:56:12.740 Yep.

00:56:13.080 All right.

00:56:13.360 We have two more.

00:56:15.100 Go ahead.

00:56:15.740 All right.

00:56:15.960 What do we got?

00:56:16.340 Two more.

00:56:16.700 Okay.

00:56:17.180 Sometimes people write novels and they just be so wordy and so self-absorbed.

00:56:21.600 I am not a fan of books.

00:56:23.000 I would never want a book's autograph.

00:56:24.840 I am a proud non-reader of books.

00:56:27.600 That's cool.

00:56:28.500 I can't play this game anymore.

00:56:29.640 I can't.

00:56:30.140 I don't know.

00:56:30.700 I'm going to go Cray, actually.

00:56:32.200 My initial thought was yay, but I'm going to go Cray.

00:56:36.120 I'm going to go Cole.

00:56:37.700 Fat Dave on this one.

00:56:39.440 It's yay.

00:56:40.000 It's an option.

00:56:40.800 That's Kanye.

00:56:41.800 Is it yay?

00:56:42.800 Yeah.

00:56:43.100 That one is Kanye.

00:56:44.420 Yeah.

00:56:44.620 Okay.

00:56:45.060 All right.

00:56:45.300 All right.

00:56:45.720 Damn it.

00:56:46.960 All right.

00:56:47.280 And our last one is AIDS is a man-made disease.

00:56:50.840 Oh, that's Kanye.

00:56:53.240 I don't know.

00:56:54.100 I'm going to go with yay, but I wouldn't be surprised if it's Cray at all.

00:56:57.360 I'd be willing to wager that both of them have said that at some point.

00:57:01.020 Yes.

00:57:01.380 But I'm going to say, I'm going to say yay.

00:57:06.280 I'm also going to say yay, but this is another tough one.

00:57:09.580 All right.

00:57:09.920 Yeah.

00:57:10.060 This one was yay as well.

00:57:11.960 Okay.

00:57:12.200 All right.

00:57:13.000 He's right.

00:57:13.380 Well, I just want to say, I just want to say first and foremost, everything they said

00:57:17.800 was true.

00:57:18.440 So I think that your brother should be released from the asylum.

00:57:20.900 Yeah.

00:57:21.240 True.

00:57:21.900 And then he'll be your slave, right?

00:57:24.120 That was the plan?

00:57:25.560 Okay.

00:57:26.400 Ideally.

00:57:27.480 Well, I mean, that's also kind of interesting.

00:57:29.660 He's trying to do a callback to my joke, but he doesn't realize it's not funny.

00:57:32.580 And so it doesn't matter.

00:57:33.360 Yeah.

00:57:34.100 That's what I did.

00:57:35.780 He's trying.

00:57:36.860 Let him try.

00:57:38.380 All right.

00:57:39.240 I'm over there.

00:57:40.500 Leonardo, why is it Leonardo is funny too?

00:57:42.680 Someone else had Leonardo is funny?

00:57:44.580 Oh, my first time got banned.

00:57:46.720 What for?

00:57:47.500 What for?

00:57:48.540 Yeah.

00:57:48.740 What did you say?

00:57:49.000 Was it a good story?

00:57:49.480 Racial slurs?

00:57:49.820 Racial slurs?

00:57:50.580 Hitting the Jews?

00:57:51.460 I made a trans baby sketch and they were like, get out, bitch.

00:57:57.200 Oh, I got to hear the premise.

00:57:58.840 I mean, it's already funny, but like.

00:58:00.100 Well, I was babysitting my friend's baby and then I had the baby and he's really white.

00:58:06.120 So I was like, dude, let's fucking make a video.

00:58:08.160 And then I just filmed me with the baby and I was like, I'm going to enter my baby into

00:58:11.800 the Gerber baby.

00:58:12.940 Now I know you're looking at him and you're like, this is a white baby and we don't need

00:58:15.800 this, but he actually just came out as trans.

00:58:20.020 He told me, I'm sorry.

00:58:21.260 She told me the third day out of the womb, said, mom, I'm a girl.

00:58:24.760 So I've had her on hormone blockers ever since because I'm the best mom in the world.

00:58:29.360 And that was the whole thing and it was a blue block in front of it.

00:58:33.260 And it picked the pink block.

00:58:34.360 So, you know, I didn't get into that.

00:58:36.740 I was just like, I just knew, you know, they looked at me.

00:58:38.920 I was like, yep, no props.

00:58:40.580 And then, uh, I put that up.

00:58:43.040 It like, it blew up within like, I didn't have that many.

00:58:46.180 I had like almost 10,000 followers at that point.

00:58:48.840 It just blew up right away.

00:58:50.000 It just started taking off.

00:58:50.820 Everybody was sharing it.

00:58:51.900 And then I come back an hour later.

00:58:53.640 It's like, I'm sorry, we can't find your account.

00:58:55.680 And I was like, that's the one that did it.

00:58:57.700 And they did me.

00:58:58.980 I knew what happened.

00:59:00.060 I knew what happened.

00:59:01.100 Hell yeah.

00:59:01.720 The trans, the trans mafia came for you.

00:59:03.920 Well, I appreciate the courage.

00:59:05.400 Cause that's, uh, that's some funny and actually true.

00:59:08.520 Yeah.

00:59:09.760 Highlighting something.

00:59:10.420 I was just so sick of it, but then, but you know what?

00:59:12.680 Now my account has more followers than I did originally.

00:59:14.800 And I have a couple of like top people following me.

00:59:16.960 So I'm like, okay, bitch.

00:59:18.420 Bye.

00:59:18.640 Yeah.

00:59:19.000 I also wouldn't be surprised if at this point, like Gerber is putting some sort of hormones in

00:59:24.360 the, in the baby.

00:59:25.680 Is that what they did to you, Toad?

00:59:29.120 Unfortunately.

00:59:29.520 No, we're trying to take the hormones out of the baby food.

00:59:33.940 By the way, uh, Top's mother is starting an N word tower right now.

00:59:38.920 Oh, hell yeah.

00:59:39.840 Dude.

00:59:40.380 Oh my God.

00:59:41.200 Yeah.

00:59:41.300 You guys got to finish this.

00:59:42.520 That's fucking rad.

00:59:43.320 N.

00:59:44.420 This one's for Top.

00:59:45.080 I.

00:59:46.080 G.

00:59:47.000 Come on.

00:59:47.400 Come on, guys.

00:59:49.000 She's not allowed.

00:59:50.140 She's not allowed to watch the show anymore.

00:59:52.240 I'm going to fuck with that.

00:59:53.320 She's not your mom for real.

00:59:55.280 Yeah.

00:59:55.680 It is.

00:59:56.400 Yeah.

00:59:56.840 Oh, they're doing it too.

00:59:57.900 These people are out of control.

00:59:58.740 Oh my God, dude.

00:59:59.940 Oh, I can't believe your mom started that.

01:00:01.340 That's awesome.

01:00:02.040 It's weird.

01:00:02.860 The kind of people that, like we are, I mean, I hesitate to say comedy because I don't really

01:00:08.200 even think we're like, we're not comedians.

01:00:09.920 We're just dudes who fuck around.

01:00:11.400 And for some reason.

01:00:11.940 I mean, that's never stopped anybody from calling themselves a comedian before.

01:00:14.940 I guess so.

01:00:15.820 But it's weird.

01:00:16.740 We've done a live event before.

01:00:18.340 And the audience that showed up was like middle-aged people, minorities, disabled people.

01:00:23.420 And you're like, these are all the people who make fun of you.

01:00:25.320 A lot of disabled people.

01:00:26.700 We're having a competition in different groups.

01:00:29.180 The middle-aged people came for you, Jose.

01:00:30.960 The minorities came for Top Lobster.

01:00:32.460 And the disabled came for Don't.

01:00:33.840 We appeal to a very vast demographic.

01:00:39.760 Yeah, they were like, look, one of us, one of us.

01:00:42.900 Look, if there's hundreds of women that can call themselves comedians, we can call ourselves

01:00:46.720 comedians.

01:00:47.720 Oh, here we go again.

01:00:50.200 Hey, present company excluded, you're actually funny.

01:00:53.600 But let's be honest, there's not a lot of funny women.

01:00:55.940 No, no, there's not.

01:00:57.740 I mean, in the entire population of the world, there's a lot of funny women.

01:01:01.540 But, you know, comparatively speaking.

01:01:02.920 My grandma is so based and so funny, dude.

01:01:06.000 She is roasting people all day long.

01:01:09.100 That's why you're funny.

01:01:10.760 Yeah, but she's like OG, classic woman.

01:01:14.360 That's an anecdotal, you know, that's an anecdotal experience.

01:01:17.740 I'm sorry.

01:01:18.420 I'm sorry that you guys keep hanging out with dumb bitches who can't tell a joke.

01:01:22.220 Wait a minute.

01:01:23.320 That's not what I'm here.

01:01:25.920 I'm just saying.

01:01:26.860 You hang out with because you feel threatened by any other women who actually.

01:01:30.160 Oh, see, now you're trying to pivot it.

01:01:32.740 And it's some feminist nonsense.

01:01:34.160 I hang out with a lot of women and most of them aren't funny.

01:01:37.320 And look, it's it's just a high bar.

01:01:39.420 They're trying to be funnier than me.

01:01:40.540 They can't do it.

01:01:41.180 You could.

01:01:42.040 You could.

01:01:42.380 But they can't.

01:01:43.080 And I'm just because they don't have to be funny.

01:01:45.100 That's actually how I feel about a lot of men.

01:01:47.020 I had this guy at a comedy party be like, you know, you're actually like one of the comedians

01:01:53.700 that my ego would let me date because you're actually funny.

01:01:56.380 And I was like, bitch, you ain't even funny.

01:01:58.280 Like, what are you doing?

01:01:59.020 You know, we find that most comedians, even just male comedians we invite on the show are

01:02:05.380 not funny.

01:02:06.780 Here's the deal.

01:02:08.140 This is what people don't understand.

01:02:09.440 They say like most women aren't funny.

01:02:11.260 OK, actually, most people aren't funny.

01:02:13.980 Here's the end.

01:02:14.980 OK, then within that, how many people try to be comedians?

01:02:20.020 A lot more men try to be comedians than women try to be comedians.

01:02:23.560 I think a lot more men try to be funny as well, because it's like a mating technique.

01:02:27.320 You have to.

01:02:27.620 Right.

01:02:27.920 Exactly.

01:02:28.780 That's correct.

01:02:29.500 And so what happens is you don't have as many women trying to be funny and you have way

01:02:34.520 more men trying to be funny.

01:02:35.640 You remember the funny men and you're going to remember all the women because you maybe

01:02:39.880 saw two of them that night.

01:02:41.720 And then you go, women aren't funny.

01:02:43.520 And you go, well, you know, you didn't really take an assessment of them.

01:02:47.440 Just intellectualize what we just said.

01:02:49.340 Thank you.

01:02:50.160 Yes.

01:02:50.320 But on averages, on averages, you don't think that men are more funny just for mating purposes?

01:02:56.480 Uh, I don't know.

01:02:58.160 I mean, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:02:59.740 On averages, yes.

01:03:01.000 Yes.

01:03:01.420 There you go.

01:03:01.700 That was our whole point.

01:03:02.880 Like, we're speaking in generalities.

01:03:04.600 Not everyone is not funny.

01:03:05.760 Men are, generally speaking, ugly.

01:03:09.220 And women are, I'm sorry, guys.

01:03:11.120 I'm trying to shut this off.

01:03:12.340 OK.

01:03:12.800 I thought that was.

01:03:14.080 I thought we had a soundbite thing.

01:03:17.420 I thought Ryan Johnson came on the show.

01:03:19.580 Sorry, guys.

01:03:20.580 I thought Dickie, like, tried to, like, you know, up the production value and add, like,

01:03:24.120 little sound things.

01:03:25.160 No, like, Leonardo's just talking about the Jews and stuff.

01:03:27.540 It kind of applied to, like, she made her point.

01:03:29.720 And it was, like, ding.

01:03:30.520 And I was, like, all right, I guess that goes there.

01:03:33.080 But then it kept going?

01:03:33.680 And I was, like.

01:03:34.060 No, I just, I think that, like, men in general are not the pretty side of the species.

01:03:39.540 Like, women are supposed to be the pretty side of the species.

01:03:41.360 Men are supposed to be, like.

01:03:44.100 I know.

01:03:44.440 This is why you're, like, you're kind of monopolizing womanhood.

01:03:49.560 I mean, the fact that you're both pretty and funny.

01:03:51.840 Doesn't, isn't that kind of unfair?

01:03:53.320 Stop simping, Clint.

01:03:54.200 I'm not simping.

01:03:54.720 It's true.

01:03:55.340 Christ.

01:03:56.000 I wouldn't say it if it weren't true.

01:03:57.760 It's crazy.

01:03:58.440 You know I wouldn't say it if it weren't true.

01:03:59.840 It's because I come by it honestly because my dad beat me.

01:04:03.140 So we're good.

01:04:04.060 Nice.

01:04:04.920 All right.

01:04:05.320 So.

01:04:05.720 What did you do to deserve it?

01:04:08.880 This is not fair.

01:04:10.060 A lot.

01:04:10.700 And if you're, like, this is not fair.

01:04:12.280 I was, like, no problem.

01:04:13.460 I'm just going to call up my dad.

01:04:15.040 He could come and raise you for, like, 18 years.

01:04:17.300 I promise you'll be funny, too.

01:04:21.520 Did you, were you, did you try and joke to get out of a whooping?

01:04:24.900 Or did you just become funny in hindsight because of trauma?

01:04:29.100 No, I think, I actually think it's because I'm smart.

01:04:31.240 And so that's why I became funny.

01:04:32.920 I think smart.

01:04:33.500 I think intelligence has a lot to do with humor, too.

01:04:35.600 But then I, then I meet someone like Cole and I'm like, no, it doesn't.

01:04:38.640 That's weird.

01:04:39.800 Well, there's two different kinds of humor, right?

01:04:41.900 Like, you've got Tracy Morgan, which is just fucking, it's like a visceral body thing.

01:04:47.080 And you have some women.

01:04:48.000 I know some women who are funny like that.

01:04:49.920 They have that body kind of thing.

01:04:51.480 But then you have an intellectual humor, like a Chappelle humor, which is, that's a different thing.

01:04:57.780 You know what?

01:04:58.040 I was just thinking about this.

01:04:58.900 There's probably a correlation between comedy and anti-Semitism because you're,

01:05:03.500 you're, you're capable of identifying patterns.

01:05:06.300 So like, like, because if you're going to find something that's humorous, you need to

01:05:10.100 find, you need to see a pattern that everyone isn't like, it's there, but others can't

01:05:14.360 identify it.

01:05:14.980 If you identify it first, like Jews taking over the media, for instance, then you can actually

01:05:19.100 make humor before the, the rest of the people figure it out.

01:05:22.500 Like, no, all right.

01:05:26.140 All right.

01:05:26.920 No?

01:05:27.220 Okay.

01:05:27.640 We're going to go in places.

01:05:28.940 I got to be quiet.

01:05:29.640 Go ahead and pull a Tim Cass on this.

01:05:33.360 Yeah, dude.

01:05:33.920 I'm waiting.

01:05:34.600 You disembodied.

01:05:35.500 What do you mean, Zay?

01:05:37.520 Did we immediately, the moment we got the, or that Clint got the DM asking to come on,

01:05:42.660 we immediately announced it because we're like, we got to put some sort of hedge that if

01:05:45.960 you back out, we'd be like, hey, motherfucker, right here.

01:05:49.260 Nice.

01:05:50.400 And we did that last time too, and it didn't work.

01:05:52.860 I stopped auto-deleting my tweets.

01:05:54.460 So that shit's still up.

01:05:55.820 So if it, if it doesn't go down January 17th or whatever it is, I'll retweet it and be

01:06:00.260 like, they lied.

01:06:01.440 They lied.

01:06:02.140 We're, they discovered that we're anti-Semitic.

01:06:04.460 Oh, nice.

01:06:05.280 Yeah.

01:06:05.940 Yep.

01:06:06.280 Yep.

01:06:06.520 Yep.

01:06:07.360 Only semi-anti-Semitic.

01:06:08.380 Maybe Kanye will have you on his podcast then.

01:06:10.840 Dude, I hope.

01:06:11.920 That'd be amazing.

01:06:12.100 I would love to have Kanye on my show.

01:06:13.920 Three.

01:06:14.220 I would go, I would go four hours deep.

01:06:15.960 With him, just fucking talk about everything.

01:06:17.780 It'd be so beautiful.

01:06:18.520 You just gotta be like, you're right.

01:06:19.540 It is the Jews.

01:06:20.400 And he'll be like, you're my man.

01:06:21.520 You know what I'm talking about.

01:06:22.600 And then he'll be like, oh, no.

01:06:23.980 Dude, I can damn near rationalize everything he said.

01:06:28.160 And I have.

01:06:29.380 So, but.

01:06:30.180 I actually think he's wrong about a lot, but I still would love to talk to him.

01:06:33.680 I can rationalize it.

01:06:34.700 I'm not saying I'm saying he's right about everything.

01:06:36.380 I can rationalize it.

01:06:37.480 Well, I can rationalize hatred for Jews too.

01:06:39.840 Yes.

01:06:40.220 Jose, but that doesn't mean it's right.

01:06:42.260 It's not really hatred, is it?

01:06:44.240 I mean, it's just more like.

01:06:45.960 He was actually saying that he, his point was actually that he loves everyone.

01:06:50.960 That's not, that's not all he said, though.

01:06:53.060 That's the problem.

01:06:53.960 Yeah, that's not, that is not all he said.

01:06:56.460 Okay.

01:06:57.460 If he were to have opened and closed with that, there would be no controversy.

01:07:01.320 I think you know that.

01:07:03.120 Sure.

01:07:03.680 Yeah.

01:07:04.240 But that was still his point.

01:07:05.620 I mean, that's the subtext.

01:07:07.140 He did say in there at one point, he made multiple references to like religion and like Christianity

01:07:11.780 and how they were called on to love each other.

01:07:14.340 And he said multiple times, I love the Jews.

01:07:16.160 I love them.

01:07:16.800 And I mean, don't get me wrong.

01:07:17.640 He said some retarded shit as well.

01:07:18.900 I mean, we're not expecting pure genius, you know, pure political philosophy out of this guy.

01:07:24.220 I mean, he's a genius, but of a different, different breed, you know, but he's not like a, like our kind of like, I don't know, like a Ron Paul or I'm trying to think of other folks that we look up to in our sphere.

01:07:33.880 But, uh, yeah.

01:07:35.920 So I promised I'd tell this story that's embarrassing to, uh, to make up, to make up for Toad telling an embarrassing story last week.

01:07:43.100 His happened.

01:07:44.400 Embarrassing.

01:07:44.920 It was fucking awesome.

01:07:45.780 His happened a year ago.

01:07:47.080 So he has no excuse.

01:07:48.140 Mine happened when I was 19.

01:07:49.180 So I have somewhat of an excuse.

01:07:50.780 We were doing, um, you guys know millennial club.

01:07:54.780 You guys know what that is?

01:07:56.000 No.

01:07:56.320 You have to do a hundred shots of beer within a hundred minutes.

01:08:00.040 Is this a yacht club, Top?

01:08:01.860 No, no, no, no.

01:08:03.060 No, no, no.

01:08:03.680 Oh, yeah, yeah.

01:08:04.220 No, I get what you're saying.

01:08:05.140 A hundred shots of beer in a hundred minutes.

01:08:07.900 So.

01:08:08.960 Okay.

01:08:09.820 Absolutely brutal.

01:08:10.640 It amounts to like, I don't know, 15 beers or something.

01:08:13.580 It's like a power hour, but it's extended by 40 more minutes.

01:08:16.940 Yeah.

01:08:17.260 And, and most of my friends weren't able to make it to 60.

01:08:19.640 They threw up and everything.

01:08:20.540 It was fucking crazy.

01:08:21.560 I make it to a hundred and, and then I go to 110 because I'm trying to like big dick everybody.

01:08:27.020 Very huge catastrophic mistake.

01:08:29.600 These, these five girls, six girls come over.

01:08:32.820 A couple hours later, I'm like basically completely incapacitated.

01:08:38.240 And this one girl that I have, I like the dream girl, she's fucking half Hawaiian, half

01:08:43.500 white.

01:08:44.080 Just the most gorgeous, gorgeous human being ever.

01:08:47.020 She also got me a signed Tony Gwynnball for my birthday.

01:08:49.260 That's the size of the average.

01:08:50.140 Uh, way hotter, like way, way hotter.

01:08:53.960 And anyways, so I don't know how it fucking goes down because I'm so drunk.

01:08:58.740 I like all the recollection I have of this is told to me by others the next day, but we

01:09:03.900 end up all taking a shower together and there's five guys and six girls and we all take a shower.

01:09:08.480 And then like, once we get out of the shower, it's just on, everyone's like going after each

01:09:13.300 other and there ends up being in one room, everyone's having sex.

01:09:17.460 I, but I'm so, I'm so fucking drunk.

01:09:20.160 Like my, there's no functional dick action.

01:09:23.980 Like zero.

01:09:24.940 My dick can't do, my dick can't do anything.

01:09:27.000 I can barely stand.

01:09:27.780 And, uh, but this girl who I've had a crush on forever is like looking at me, like, you

01:09:34.320 have to do this.

01:09:35.940 You have to find a way.

01:09:37.020 So I'm trying, I'm just like dragging my dead face body all over hers.

01:09:41.240 And I'm just like trying, trying to fucking do anything to get her going.

01:09:44.740 And this other guy comes in, starts hooking up with her and I ended up, and I ended up

01:09:48.880 laying there fucking jerking my limp dick off.

01:09:51.380 Well, well, my dream girl gets railed by some other dude for like 25 minutes and I'm

01:09:56.780 just jerking off my limp dick, just staring, staring in the eyes of my dream girl.

01:10:00.880 And I can't do a goddamn thing about it.

01:10:02.640 And it's the saddest story of my life.

01:10:04.020 And I just wanted to tell it so that Toad feels better.

01:10:06.160 Wow.

01:10:06.380 Yeah.

01:10:06.940 I do.

01:10:08.140 Toad's cooler than you in that story.

01:10:09.540 Let's be real.

01:10:10.320 Yeah.

01:10:10.560 Well, kind of.

01:10:11.700 Still not.

01:10:12.460 Still not.

01:10:13.060 But Toad actually got hard.

01:10:14.540 So that's.

01:10:15.100 Oh, that's true.

01:10:15.960 That's true.

01:10:16.340 He wins there.

01:10:17.440 You're sitting there trying to get your dick hard while this other dude fuck your chick.

01:10:20.740 Not, not only did I get hard, but I was what, like 37 and Clint was 19 in this

01:10:25.160 story and still couldn't do it.

01:10:26.280 I can sympathize with it though.

01:10:27.820 I mean, you're 19 years old.

01:10:29.540 Yeah.

01:10:30.180 I missed that part.

01:10:31.160 Okay.

01:10:31.660 Yeah.

01:10:32.520 Yeah.

01:10:32.880 It wasn't like a week ago.

01:10:34.720 We'd be really making fun of it.

01:10:35.920 You're supposed to be able to function at 19 no matter what.

01:10:38.760 Yeah, that's true.

01:10:39.640 I mean.

01:10:39.920 Not only I can, but if your, if your blood alcohol content hits a certain threshold,

01:10:43.360 it doesn't matter how old you are, your whole body shuts down.

01:10:45.360 And that's where I was at.

01:10:46.760 Clint, that was just anti-Giga Chad behavior.

01:10:50.260 I tried, dude.

01:10:51.160 I still fucking soldiered on.

01:10:52.740 That's pretty funny.

01:10:53.260 It is though, it is though, because I would think that, I would think that Toad's blood

01:10:57.820 alcohol level was way higher than yours, but he still was able to get somewhat of an

01:11:01.680 erection.

01:11:02.380 Yeah.

01:11:02.580 I was way older, like I said.

01:11:04.440 To be fair, the reasoning would be because Toad has seen a lot less in real life titties.

01:11:09.800 So, you know.

01:11:10.980 He's like, this is the first real porn I've ever seen.

01:11:14.480 Yeah.

01:11:15.660 Way drunker than Clintons.

01:11:17.400 Do you remember what it smelled like in there, Toad?

01:11:22.540 Oh, I do not.

01:11:25.000 That'd be interesting.

01:11:26.420 I feel like Liz smells good, so probably not bad.

01:11:29.060 I don't know.

01:11:30.260 Jesus.

01:11:31.800 Oh, shit.

01:11:33.000 Liz is our co-host's wife that he was banging in this scenario.

01:11:35.760 That makes it better.

01:11:37.900 Leonardo, what's your most embarrassing sex story?

01:11:44.780 I don't know that I have one.

01:11:46.680 I'm sorry.

01:11:47.660 Really?

01:11:48.280 No, I don't think so.

01:11:49.640 Wow.

01:11:50.240 Yeah.

01:11:51.120 Women tend to have much more of a control over this scenario, so they don't have these

01:11:55.720 sort of retarded, embarrassing stories generally.

01:11:57.980 Yeah, I don't really, I think the most embarrassing sex story would just be, I can't believe I slept

01:12:03.700 with that guy.

01:12:04.620 Right.

01:12:04.740 Yeah.

01:12:05.760 That's probably the most embarrassing one.

01:12:07.940 Like, oh, wait, I was in a relationship with that?

01:12:11.720 That's insane.

01:12:14.200 Have you only ever had sex with people you're in a relationship with?

01:12:18.760 Like 95%, yeah.

01:12:21.160 Good for you.

01:12:21.560 What do I have to do to be in the 5%?

01:12:25.140 I was going to say, I aspire to be that regret.

01:12:31.480 Sorry, sorry.

01:12:32.500 That time in my life is over.

01:12:34.100 Oh.

01:12:34.840 That time in my life is over.

01:12:36.600 I missed it by two years.

01:12:38.520 Yeah.

01:12:38.780 I mean.

01:12:38.960 I missed it by about six, but that's okay.

01:12:42.000 I mean, good for you.

01:12:42.840 I mean, there is something, too, was the old adage, it's like a key that opens many

01:12:47.260 locks is awesome.

01:12:48.060 The locks open by many keys is useless.

01:12:50.040 There's something to that.

01:12:51.020 I mean, it's a little bit chauvinistic and over the top, but there's something to it.

01:12:53.940 No, I think that women should stop having their whole sex life dictated by CIA psyops.

01:12:59.500 That's what I think.

01:12:59.840 Hell yeah.

01:13:00.840 There you go.

01:13:01.620 I think sex in the city was a nice way to completely dismantle the last remnants of

01:13:06.880 a woman's self-respect and get her to believe that letting a dude who's accomplished absolutely

01:13:11.320 nothing in his life come in her is her liberation.

01:13:14.300 I mean, that's some level of psychosis.

01:13:17.300 I mean, biologically speaking, the way it's supposed to work is us men.

01:13:20.220 We just want to fuck.

01:13:21.340 And women are like, all right, you want to fuck?

01:13:23.160 Well, here are the terms.

01:13:24.760 Like, you know, like, represent something.

01:13:27.000 A village.

01:13:27.900 Build me a village and we can talk about it.

01:13:30.900 And then you guys go, I don't want to fucking build a village.

01:13:34.320 But then you start building a village and you're like, wow, I feel better about myself.

01:13:37.060 Maybe this bitch knew something.

01:13:38.880 I know.

01:13:39.820 You guys are not doing it.

01:13:40.640 So, Leonardo, I'm currently building six houses on a single cul-de-sac.

01:13:44.880 I just want you to know that I'm actively building a village.

01:13:48.860 That's true.

01:13:49.960 You've set your terms.

01:13:51.360 But no black people are allowed to live there.

01:13:54.740 When I was my second, no, I'm just kidding.

01:13:57.780 So, yeah, it's a hopping con.

01:13:59.420 You just backed yourself in a corner there, Leonardo.

01:14:01.480 You got to fuck Clint now.

01:14:03.880 But you know what?

01:14:04.700 It's kind of unfair.

01:14:05.140 She made the rules.

01:14:06.440 Even if it was like we were living in the society of yesteryear where, you know, a woman

01:14:11.340 kind of held this thing privately, this thing, her vagina, and the men had to work for it.

01:14:17.080 The woman still holds so much power.

01:14:18.740 But now that vagina is so plentiful and it's everywhere, like two clicks of a button, I

01:14:23.320 could see somebody's butthole.

01:14:24.620 It's still the most extraordinary commodity in life.

01:14:31.340 No matter how little or how much of it is out there, it still runs people's life.

01:14:37.960 So, what the fuck?

01:14:39.200 What do we do?

01:14:40.620 Well, I mean, but you're saying it like it's a problem.

01:14:44.300 And it's actually, I think, a dynamic that's constructed.

01:14:47.880 Like, number one, women are not doing that because we're trying to control you.

01:14:51.100 We're not like, you need to do this.

01:14:54.300 Some, maybe, maybe, maybe.

01:14:55.740 But generally speaking, the traditional reason was because you have to take care of yourself

01:15:00.060 because you could end up pregnant and then you're fucked.

01:15:03.460 You and your kids are fucked.

01:15:05.060 You know what I mean?

01:15:05.780 And if you're going to carry somebody's genetic material into existence, well, they better

01:15:10.900 be worth carrying their material.

01:15:12.840 As we know by all the retards that exist in society, this didn't always hold, right?

01:15:17.520 Sometimes, you know, some people were able to get through and some women were able to,

01:15:22.680 like, didn't care, right?

01:15:24.020 So, you had retards being bred.

01:15:25.500 So, it was self-preserving.

01:15:27.340 But in the issue where it was self-preserving for you, it actually ends up being ameliorating

01:15:34.520 for you because you guys have all this stuff in you, all these abilities that you don't

01:15:41.320 want to do unless you have to.

01:15:43.520 But then when you do it, you actually feel better about who you are.

01:15:48.020 You have a little bit more self-respect.

01:15:49.560 And then you also kind of hold this woman a little bit of higher esteem because she's

01:15:54.580 said, hey, this is, I'm worth this.

01:15:58.180 And you're like, I don't want to fucking do it.

01:16:00.380 But then you do it and then you discover something about yourself that you didn't know.

01:16:03.600 So, it's like, it's a leveling up, right?

01:16:06.320 And so, we had that.

01:16:07.440 You can kind of watch society level up through that course.

01:16:10.600 And now, it's a leveling down.

01:16:12.760 Yeah, it's mutually beneficial on the way up.

01:16:14.960 What's interesting to me is, like, with the advent of birth control and abortion, you

01:16:20.780 would think that there would be a diminishing amount of retards being born.

01:16:26.300 But in fact, it's the inverse.

01:16:27.620 There's almost exclusively retards being born.

01:16:29.980 Is it that retards are being born or is it that people are not being called and challenged

01:16:33.900 to bring out what is within them that could actually be...

01:16:38.620 I think it's both.

01:16:39.840 But, I mean, there's also, there's certainly a level of genetic combining that's occurring

01:16:46.220 amongst people that, like, with women that would otherwise not be sleeping with these

01:16:50.080 men if it weren't for birth control.

01:16:51.560 But then, for whatever reason, they end up getting pregnant and they have the kid with

01:16:55.140 this fucking absolute moron that's, you know, decently good.

01:16:58.460 But I do think that people have the potential to be way better than they are.

01:17:02.020 I mean, look at Toad.

01:17:03.820 I mean, he used to be...

01:17:05.360 You don't understand who he was before porn.

01:17:07.400 I mean, this guy was a regular Brad Pitt.

01:17:09.180 I can't even say this.

01:17:13.420 Well, yeah.

01:17:14.380 I'll just give up porn and I'll be a regular Brad Pitt again.

01:17:17.120 I just, I think it's like, it's hard for you guys.

01:17:19.380 I don't understand what a man's sex drive is like.

01:17:21.660 I've talked to men and apparently it's like very difficult for you guys.

01:17:25.440 Like, I mean, it's just part of the, you're just like fucking, yeah, I need to fuck.

01:17:29.780 I wouldn't say it's difficult.

01:17:30.880 I'd say it's hard.

01:17:31.660 I don't understand that.

01:17:38.300 So I'm not, I'm not on the inside of that.

01:17:41.540 I just know what people have told me, right?

01:17:43.440 I don't really have that because I'm a woman.

01:17:45.220 We really can have a little bit more to tag.

01:17:46.900 Like, it's not that we don't get, you know, taken, swept away by our sexuality.

01:17:50.940 Sure.

01:17:51.300 Absolutely.

01:17:51.840 But there is the plus side that we have a little bit of ability to just fucking shut

01:17:55.980 it off if we need to.

01:17:57.160 And, um, for you guys, it's just like, it, it's sort of like, you know, men are in the

01:18:04.880 situation now where they're the ones who have to say no to women.

01:18:07.740 Right.

01:18:08.240 But you guys can't, you can't.

01:18:11.280 And so I do.

01:18:14.480 Okay.

01:18:14.820 Yeah.

01:18:15.300 But if generally speaking, you know, like.

01:18:18.340 No, you're right.

01:18:18.860 On averages.

01:18:19.620 Once again, you're right.

01:18:20.320 Yes.

01:18:20.840 Generally speaking, that's the case.

01:18:22.400 Right.

01:18:22.640 And so I think you're not going to like, it's like, if you go to the gym, right.

01:18:28.320 If you go to the gym and you push yourself, you're not going to really push yourself as

01:18:32.920 hard as a trainer will.

01:18:33.800 A trainer is going to push you harder than you.

01:18:35.600 You can push yourself.

01:18:36.500 You can push yourself to a certain level.

01:18:38.000 Right.

01:18:38.360 Especially maybe if you've been doing it like Jose has, you know, for a long time or whatever.

01:18:42.560 But if you're, you know, new to the game, you don't have that discipline.

01:18:45.800 Like a trainer is going to push you more than you can push yourself.

01:18:48.340 And it's kind of, that's what I kind of think about like the relationship between men and

01:18:51.200 women, like men will put, there are men, there are definitely men who are just going to push

01:18:54.400 themselves no matter what.

01:18:55.540 That's a very small percentage of men.

01:18:57.020 And they're in the top percent of like successful men.

01:18:59.960 You see it.

01:19:00.440 Right.

01:19:01.040 Generally speaking though, the vast majority of men need a trainer.

01:19:03.900 And that trainer is a woman that they want.

01:19:06.320 Who's like, no.

01:19:08.200 And historically you would have whoever that was in your village.

01:19:12.720 That was the 1% that's just driven.

01:19:15.500 He would be the mentor for the other men in the village.

01:19:17.960 And we don't have that anymore.

01:19:19.180 So now you have a guy like Andrew Tate, who's like the global 1% leader man for all of these

01:19:25.240 incels.

01:19:25.700 And you're like, well, that's not really helping because you don't have millions of dollars

01:19:29.540 and a private jet and shit like that.

01:19:31.360 So like, is his advice really relatable?

01:19:33.300 Probably not.

01:19:34.120 Wait, I shouldn't listen to him.

01:19:35.760 No, I still think he's got some good tips aside from like saying, you know, that Allah is

01:19:40.880 the way.

01:19:42.900 But his hatred for women is obviously based.

01:19:45.280 So I think it was thought out.

01:19:46.880 But for the Muslim thing, I think he took a money deal for that.

01:19:53.720 Could be.

01:19:54.840 You got conspiracy theories for everything.

01:19:57.240 I do.

01:19:58.540 I think everything is fake and gay.

01:20:00.060 Just generally speaking, that's my motto.

01:20:02.100 And I go, if something doesn't add up, I go, is it fake and gay?

01:20:05.780 I think it might be fake and gay.

01:20:07.400 That's our motto too.

01:20:08.960 Literally everything.

01:20:10.620 Yeah, dude.

01:20:11.740 All right.

01:20:12.200 What else do we got?

01:20:13.540 We got any other shit in the notes today?

01:20:15.020 What do we got?

01:20:15.900 Toad, you're the man.

01:20:17.120 We had Brittany Griner being a man.

01:20:21.880 We had, I mean, there's stuff going back to previous episodes that we never talked about

01:20:26.080 too, like the cum shoes.

01:20:28.260 Cum shoes?

01:20:28.940 What the fuck are you doing?

01:20:29.620 We have the Waffle House brawl, if we wanted to watch that video.

01:20:32.840 Oh, the one with the chick who like fucking Jedi mind tricked that fucking chair?

01:20:37.020 Yeah.

01:20:37.260 That's pretty wild.

01:20:38.040 But I don't really know what we can do with that other than like, wow, that's cool.

01:20:40.480 And then we move on.

01:20:43.280 What do we got?

01:20:44.540 That and Clint apparently not telling the other story.

01:20:49.820 Yeah, he's not going to tell the story, you retard.

01:20:53.140 Hey, show me the Brittany Griner thing.

01:20:54.880 I want to see that.

01:20:55.340 Yeah, I've seen a picture where there's no shirt.

01:20:56.640 Well, we can't show it because, I mean, technically she's supposed to be a woman and those are boobs.

01:21:02.260 Is it on YouTube?

01:21:03.460 Yeah, we're on YouTube, you retard.

01:21:04.860 No, is this video on YouTube?

01:21:07.120 You're on Twitter.

01:21:07.940 This is on Twitter right now.

01:21:09.080 Whatever, play it.

01:21:09.920 Who cares?

01:21:10.380 We don't care about this channel.

01:21:11.660 Oh my God.

01:21:13.180 Yeah, who gives a fuck?

01:21:13.960 Whatever.

01:21:15.300 Oh, yeah.

01:21:16.200 Dude, that's a man.

01:21:17.840 Right?

01:21:18.080 Yeah.

01:21:19.080 Can you not hit play?

01:21:19.920 Can you not hit play?

01:21:24.380 I don't think that's real.

01:21:29.540 I don't know.

01:21:33.020 Can you imagine we get a YouTube strike and we have to appeal it and it's like, that's a dude?

01:21:36.480 That would be definitely something that would happen to us.

01:21:45.240 That's not a chick.

01:21:46.440 That's not Brittany.

01:21:47.000 That's not Brittany Griner, dude.

01:21:48.720 Is it not?

01:21:49.480 No, it is.

01:21:50.580 I think it is.

01:21:51.480 I don't think so.

01:21:53.260 I don't know.

01:21:53.960 Because this is a...

01:21:54.920 And you can match the tattoos.

01:21:57.300 That's your guess.

01:21:58.020 We need to match the tattoos.

01:21:59.020 Oh, yeah.

01:21:59.560 Let's get fucking full autism in this.

01:22:01.340 Bring up other pictures.

01:22:02.480 Leave this one up.

01:22:03.160 I don't know.

01:22:04.680 I don't think it's Brittany Griner.

01:22:05.660 Look at that face.

01:22:06.540 That don't look like her.

01:22:07.600 Can you imagine?

01:22:08.520 Like, this is probably the first time anyone has ever Googled Brittany Griner topless.

01:22:13.760 Oh, I don't know.

01:22:14.300 Look at that tattoo.

01:22:15.360 I think it matches.

01:22:17.300 Doesn't it?

01:22:17.680 Oh, shit.

01:22:18.500 Yeah.

01:22:18.760 Go back to the other one.

01:22:20.060 Looks like a dove.

01:22:20.780 I don't know.

01:22:21.500 It's really hard to tell.

01:22:22.240 It's grainy.

01:22:22.920 She's got more, like, below it, though, in this video.

01:22:25.820 So, I don't know.

01:22:26.040 Is she gay?

01:22:27.200 I assume she is, right?

01:22:28.500 Definitely gay, but the question is, is it a man?

01:22:30.820 Is she fake?

01:22:33.200 Probably.

01:22:34.900 Definitely gay, but is she fake?

01:22:36.840 The real Brittany Griner is somewhere in Russia.

01:22:39.000 It's, like, shoveling coal.

01:22:40.440 Oh, no, no, no.

01:22:41.140 That Brittany Griner, this is how deep my conspiracy mind goes.

01:22:45.180 I go, oh, this whole story was fake and gay.

01:22:47.620 The whole fucking thing.

01:22:48.780 The whole thing.

01:22:50.120 Oh, I can't carry it for marijuana.

01:22:52.880 Oh, no.

01:22:53.380 What are we going to do?

01:22:54.140 Oh, no, looks like we're going to have to give up the merchant of death for a basketball player.

01:23:01.580 What a coincidence.

01:23:03.540 This just happens to be the only Russian captive we have.

01:23:07.280 Oh, no, don't look.

01:23:08.620 She doesn't have any tits.

01:23:09.660 She definitely wasn't a man that was raised on a farm.

01:23:12.000 Definitely not.

01:23:12.980 Definitely.

01:23:13.920 Definitely not.

01:23:14.860 And WNBA is floundering, bringing a dude.

01:23:18.080 Right, exactly.

01:23:19.120 Yeah, like, yeah, the star player of the league just happens to be a dude.

01:23:23.300 Still can't dunk.

01:23:26.000 Like, it just makes no sense.

01:23:27.380 I know this sounds crazy, but Leonardo might be onto something.

01:23:31.820 The merchant of death also ran arms for the U.S. military during Iraq War II.

01:23:36.940 So the fact that, like, we might want him to be released and we needed a pretext to do so, it's not impossible.

01:23:44.460 It's retarded.

01:23:45.480 Why would you make such a big spectacle of it then?

01:23:47.660 Because it's a distraction.

01:23:49.320 And it's all, this whole thing is entertainment.

01:23:51.560 Right, this whole thing is like, hey, we're going to entertain you, tell you what we're doing, all while we're screwing you.

01:23:57.060 Don't look at this.

01:23:58.180 Look at this.

01:23:59.140 I mean, how come we don't hear anything about the people that were on Epstein's Island?

01:24:04.700 That's where the real shit is.

01:24:06.440 How come we don't hear anything about Maxwell's List?

01:24:08.640 Why are we talking about this dumb bitch or dude, whatever the fuck it is, who smoked marijuana and now we've got to do this trade?

01:24:17.240 Why is that?

01:24:17.880 And everybody's talking about it and tweeting about it and this person's having a reaction.

01:24:20.940 Even this whole thing about is she a man, is she not a man, just adding more fuel to the fire.

01:24:25.580 You know what I want to know?

01:24:26.620 I want to know who the fuck was fucking those kids on Epstein's Island.

01:24:29.360 That's why.

01:24:30.520 I want the contact list.

01:24:32.400 Where is there a war in Ukraine right now?

01:24:35.000 Yes, I do think there is a war.

01:24:43.900 Was there a genocide?

01:24:46.480 It's like a battle.

01:24:47.600 It's like a battle.

01:24:48.380 It's like between like two.

01:24:49.580 Ukraine and Russia are basically the same thing.

01:24:53.060 The border where they created Ukraine is an artificial one.

01:24:58.400 I'm going to run down.

01:24:59.600 I'll run down some conspiracy theories with you.

01:25:01.280 January 6th, fake or gay?

01:25:03.460 Definitely fake.

01:25:04.160 Fake and gay.

01:25:05.000 Fake and gay.

01:25:05.820 Yeah.

01:25:06.340 Okay.

01:25:06.780 The latest CIA leak about JFK, fake or gay?

01:25:11.740 Fake and gay.

01:25:12.580 Fake and gay.

01:25:13.380 Because they're not telling you the truth.

01:25:15.740 I'm not even giving you the option for real.

01:25:17.780 CIA was 100% involved.

01:25:19.780 But you had people that like you had the Dulles brothers.

01:25:24.240 You had the Bush family.

01:25:26.380 You have so many of these people that are connected in there that they're not telling you about.

01:25:29.360 And they're not telling you why they killed him.

01:25:32.120 What was really going on.

01:25:33.180 Yeah.

01:25:33.680 They're not actually giving a shit.

01:25:35.420 It just dawned on me that we had her on the wrong show.

01:25:37.760 We should have had her on your show.

01:25:39.720 On four pony boys the other day?

01:25:41.300 No.

01:25:41.840 We could have had her on our conspiracy month as well.

01:25:44.980 Yeah.

01:25:45.160 We discussed conspiracy theories with like Charlie Robinson for like two hours yesterday.

01:25:50.080 That's the...

01:25:50.800 All right.

01:25:51.140 Let me think.

01:25:52.240 The Twitter files.

01:25:53.160 Is it fake or real?

01:25:54.720 No, that's real.

01:25:56.200 Yeah.

01:25:56.700 You think that's real?

01:25:57.640 That seems like more of a distraction.

01:25:59.100 No, because we all knew it was true.

01:26:02.080 They're going to give us a piece.

01:26:03.220 They're going to throw us a little bone.

01:26:04.300 It's a limited hangout.

01:26:06.280 It's everything we already knew.

01:26:07.860 I mean, when they printed that stuff, I was like, oh, you guys just found out about this?

01:26:11.880 Well, and keep in mind too that all of the information is being funneled from Twitter and Elon via his attorneys to these reporters.

01:26:20.180 So, like, it is being filtered at its, you know, inception point.

01:26:24.920 So, you can't...

01:26:25.640 You're not going to get, like, the worst truth.

01:26:29.120 Yeah.

01:26:29.760 Right.

01:26:31.080 Okay.

01:26:31.700 The Holocaust.

01:26:32.840 Fake or real?

01:26:33.960 I was just going to say that.

01:26:35.220 Yeah.

01:26:35.860 Fake or gay?

01:26:37.280 Or greatly exaggerated?

01:26:40.460 Or didn't go far enough?

01:26:41.460 Too high or too low?

01:26:42.580 Or just right?

01:26:43.340 No, it was real.

01:26:44.880 It was real.

01:26:45.640 How real?

01:26:47.900 It was real.

01:26:48.880 I mean...

01:26:49.880 The numbers, I'm not...

01:26:52.500 It's really hard.

01:26:53.600 Like, I've done some research on how they got to the six million, and it's like, listen,

01:26:57.480 that's a really kind of round figure, and it's very convenient, the number six, given

01:27:01.100 all the Hebrew implications of the number six.

01:27:03.740 Oh, my God.

01:27:04.260 I love her.

01:27:04.840 She's on it.

01:27:06.560 You're on it right now.

01:27:07.880 What the fuck do they have wooden doors?

01:27:09.380 That doesn't make sense, you know?

01:27:11.840 Leonardo, what was...

01:27:12.840 People that were killed, for sure.

01:27:13.900 What's more real?

01:27:15.300 Like, if you had to say, like, so, like, the numbers and the story on the Holocaust,

01:27:19.640 or the numbers and the story on the Armenian Genocide?

01:27:23.260 Ooh.

01:27:24.660 I can't answer that question.

01:27:26.600 I've never even looked at the Armenian Genocide.

01:27:28.540 It's like the one no one really gives a shit about.

01:27:30.320 You're like, yeah, it happened again.

01:27:31.220 You're not allowed to.

01:27:32.140 I mean, the real Holocaust is the one that we're not allowed to mention, which is Holdemore.

01:27:35.940 That was like...

01:27:36.260 It's like, I mean...

01:27:37.840 Also Ukraine?

01:27:39.440 Yeah.

01:27:39.940 Well, nobody talks about what happened post-World War II, meaning, like, how many...

01:27:47.840 Like, there were, like, 20 million people killed in Russia.

01:27:50.960 I mean, that's...

01:27:52.120 Even if you want to say 6 million, fine.

01:27:53.760 20 million dwarfs it.

01:27:54.700 How come we never talk about it?

01:27:55.840 Well, we also don't talk about the Great Leap Forward in Mao's China.

01:27:59.200 Yeah.

01:27:59.620 Well, because we've been taken over by communists.

01:28:01.460 The reason we don't talk about the 20 million is it completely undermines the whole point

01:28:06.360 of the 6 million, because the 6 million was a de facto reasoning for entering World

01:28:10.180 War II, and then all we did was bolster the USSR, thus making it easier for them to,

01:28:15.140 you know, maintain a stake in the world, you know, the world sphere, or whatever the

01:28:19.040 fuck the word I was looking for there.

01:28:20.620 But, yeah.

01:28:22.620 Yeah.

01:28:23.680 Oh, God, I was going to ask something.

01:28:25.040 Oh, 9-11, fake or gay?

01:28:28.380 You're a New Yorker, so you've got to have a real take on that.

01:28:30.340 Okay, 9-11 was definitely real, definitely happened.

01:28:33.300 However, it was definitely not what they say it was.

01:28:36.300 That was an orchestrated demolition across the board.

01:28:41.700 I mean, I'm questionable if there were any planes.

01:28:46.160 I'm just going to say.

01:28:48.980 We got a whole fucking 9-11 program.

01:28:52.720 I'm questioning if there were any planes, but they for sure killed people.

01:28:56.120 They dismantled those buildings.

01:28:57.320 They set off explosions.

01:28:58.660 Absolutely.

01:28:58.860 That video that came out, what, like, less than a year ago with, like, the random footage,

01:29:04.820 that was the only one that really made me be like, are there no planes?

01:29:07.780 Because it seemed so weird and contrived.

01:29:09.600 I'm like, look, here's a plane.

01:29:11.440 It's like, I think there were planes, but still it was like, are they just fucking with us?

01:29:14.500 Trying to, like, be like, hey, do you think there's no planes?

01:29:16.820 It's almost like they knew we'd be like, nope, I guess there's no planes.

01:29:19.600 I can definitely see that.

01:29:21.920 It's so fucking hard.

01:29:22.460 It's so hard to parse out.

01:29:24.220 Like, that's the thing when you get into conspiracy worlds.

01:29:25.920 There's so much in there.

01:29:27.440 And you have to be like, how much of this stuff has been thrown in to muddy the water?

01:29:31.380 Like, it's totally possible that they crashed some planes in there.

01:29:34.500 Although, I do see the background.

01:29:36.960 Absolutely, Little Dicky.

01:29:37.940 I've been watching the background.

01:29:39.140 Yeah.

01:29:39.420 Oh, yeah.

01:29:42.000 You know, for me, if anything, they were drones.

01:29:45.200 And this whole fabrication of these Muhammad Muslim pilots, they didn't exist.

01:29:53.100 Those are CIA assets, for sure.

01:29:55.980 Absolutely.

01:29:57.680 We have to find a way to get you hooked up with Sam Tripoli,

01:30:01.500 because you'd be perfect on some of his shows.

01:30:05.720 No, I'm serious.

01:30:06.980 Do you know Sam?

01:30:08.980 I've met him a couple times, but he might remember me.

01:30:12.520 He might not remember me.

01:30:13.540 Okay.

01:30:14.220 Yeah.

01:30:14.920 He'll do like a conspiracy night where he'll have Eddie Bravo and maybe someone else.

01:30:19.660 And then they'll have like openers, but they just don't apply to what they're doing there.

01:30:23.260 You'd be perfect.

01:30:24.220 Little pro tip.

01:30:25.300 Next time you see Sam, say nigger in the most seductive tone you can do it.

01:30:30.120 And you'll have him for life.

01:30:32.040 Yeah.

01:30:32.160 Like, I don't know if you know him that well, but it's legit his thing.

01:30:34.600 He says he can't come unless the chicks call him a nigger.

01:30:38.880 Damn it, fat dude.

01:30:39.800 No, Wanagoon, you fucking weirdo.

01:30:41.580 She might.

01:30:42.480 That's our other co-host.

01:30:43.740 He's obsessed with it.

01:30:44.800 Never heard of women.

01:30:45.960 Of course you haven't.

01:30:47.000 No one has.

01:30:48.840 What was I going to say?

01:30:49.940 Fuck these beeps.

01:30:51.260 These dingers.

01:30:51.760 Dinosaurs.

01:30:52.120 I don't know how to shut my fucking iMessage is on this.

01:30:55.300 I'm a woman.

01:30:56.060 I'm retarded.

01:30:56.660 Every time she gets a beep, it's just another dick pic from a guy.

01:31:01.460 The beep's confusing me.

01:31:02.520 It's like the Pavlovian bell.

01:31:04.520 I wish.

01:31:05.220 Nobody sends a dick.

01:31:06.360 I'm just kidding.

01:31:07.280 Oh, there you go.

01:31:08.560 I'm going to start.

01:31:09.260 I'm going to start.

01:31:09.940 That was a mistake.

01:31:10.420 I sent her one just to prove it's visible.

01:31:13.580 Yeah, I heard that was a rumor.

01:31:14.940 I don't know if it's true.

01:31:16.180 If it is true, whatever.

01:31:18.420 I'll find a way to justify it because I like Sam.

01:31:20.320 I hope it's not true, though.

01:31:22.240 Oh, I remember what I was going to say.

01:31:23.900 It's called banging.

01:31:24.380 Hanging or banging?

01:31:25.140 Was that a typo?

01:31:26.120 I don't think it's supposed to be banging.

01:31:27.400 It was a typo.

01:31:28.240 He was hanging all the trannies.

01:31:30.240 Jesus.

01:31:30.920 Hanging.

01:31:31.160 They handle it themselves.

01:31:32.500 Yeah, they do it themselves.

01:31:34.240 It's called Union of the Unwanted.

01:31:35.800 He has on like six or seven different conspiracy theorist type people.

01:31:39.500 You should be on that for sure.

01:31:40.460 All right.

01:31:41.880 We'll set it up.

01:31:43.400 Oh, yeah.

01:31:44.060 It's true.

01:31:46.440 All right, guys.

01:31:47.020 Sam retweets me almost every day.

01:31:48.240 Come on.

01:31:48.580 I got the end.

01:31:49.580 All right, guys.

01:31:50.020 You guys ready to wrap?

01:31:51.000 We're out.

01:31:51.520 We're an hour and a half.

01:31:52.300 I think it's a good time.

01:31:53.760 Leonardo, you want to drop your plugs?

01:31:55.140 We'll get the fuck out of here?

01:31:56.140 Yeah, everybody can find me.

01:31:57.880 Mostly on Instagram is where I put all my content, which is Leonardo is funny, too.

01:32:02.100 I've got sketches.

01:32:02.940 I got stand-up.

01:32:04.540 Also on Twitter, it's Leonardo is funny.

01:32:07.540 So that's it.

01:32:09.920 Oh, yeah.

01:32:10.380 Oh, yeah.

01:32:11.260 Clint Russell, Liberty Lockdown.

01:32:13.100 Make sure you like, comment, subscribe, and send dick pics to Leonardo because she's desperately

01:32:18.420 in need of them.

01:32:19.300 I really don't need them.

01:32:21.000 I don't.

01:32:21.420 Oh, okay.

01:32:21.960 Well, then she's playing hard to get, but you're going to have to send two.

01:32:24.180 Can't hurt to try.

01:32:25.720 You're going to have to send two.

01:32:26.820 I get it.

01:32:27.560 Shoot your shot, man.

01:32:29.180 Yeah.

01:32:29.980 It's a Hail Mary, baby.

01:32:31.220 And, yeah, make sure that you guys go tell TimCast that they should send us our flight information

01:32:36.100 because we're getting nervous.

01:32:37.320 MK Ultraviolet stealing my joke, you bastard.

01:32:40.940 You can find me at Top Lobster everywhere.

01:32:43.720 Top Lobster with an A.

01:32:44.540 TopLobster.com.

01:32:45.680 Go to PodcastMerch.com for some of your favorite podcast stuff.

01:32:50.080 Legion of Skanks, Part of the Problem, et cetera, et cetera.

01:32:52.580 Jose Galisson.

01:32:53.720 You can follow me on Twitter at SenorJose2020.

01:32:56.140 It's my third account.

01:32:56.920 That's why it's such a retarded name.

01:32:59.320 But, yeah, I also have the No Way Jose podcast I just had on, like, Top Allude to.

01:33:04.760 Yesterday I had Top Lobster, Clint, and I actually had Fat Dave joining us for that one, and Charlie

01:33:09.600 Robinson, and we just went down the rigmarole of fucking conspiracy theories.

01:33:13.800 It was a fun time.

01:33:15.540 You know, definitely go check that out.

01:33:17.220 YouTube, All Major Odd Podcatchers, Odyssey as well.

01:33:20.020 And, yeah, that's Toad.

01:33:21.860 What you got?

01:33:23.140 Tower Gang Toad.

01:33:24.620 Tower Gang, obviously.

01:33:26.480 Every Wednesday.

01:33:27.500 Next Wednesday we got episode 104.

01:33:30.400 And I was just on Jose's show as well because we were endlessly reading Hans-Hermann Hoppe,

01:33:36.160 Democracy the God that Failed.

01:33:37.580 So I don't know when that one's going to drop.

01:33:40.000 Leonardo, as opposed to me sending you an awkward DM, can you just reject me now?

01:33:45.960 Yeah.

01:33:46.400 Oh, I'm not going to date you.

01:33:47.560 Sorry, Clint.

01:33:48.160 Okay.

01:33:48.740 Thank you.

01:33:49.020 Appreciate it.

01:33:49.480 And what do we have to do for Toad to get your phone number?

01:33:54.200 Nothing.

01:33:56.160 Nothing?

01:33:56.760 Whoa.

01:33:57.080 So no effort at all.

01:33:58.280 That was a harsher rejection for you, Toad.

01:33:59.860 Hey, Toad, what's the Patreon for this show?

01:34:02.300 So people can get in the mailbag?

01:34:03.280 Patreon.com slash Tower Gang Pod.

01:34:06.300 Everything is Tower Gang Pod.

01:34:07.500 And if you want to submit to the mailbag, subscribe to the Patreon.

01:34:11.080 And also subscribe to our Rumble, which is also Tower Gang Pod, so we can start streaming

01:34:14.600 there.

01:34:15.500 You need to work on your plug game, Toad.

01:34:16.880 You're the Tower Gang plugger.

01:34:18.380 All right?

01:34:18.740 Hey, look at that.

01:34:19.440 We all have other shows.

01:34:19.920 All right, all right.

01:34:20.400 Professional plug there.

01:34:21.360 Thank you guys so much for tuning in.

01:34:22.580 We will catch you next week.

01:34:23.600 Thank you very much, Leonardo, for joining us and putting up with our retardation for an

01:34:27.620 hour and a half.

01:34:28.080 We love you.

01:34:29.280 Goodbye.

01:34:29.460 Love you.

01:34:30.120 Love you.

01:34:31.020 Bye.

01:34:31.160 Bye.

01:34:31.220 Bye.

01:34:31.300 Bye.

01:34:31.360 Bye.

01:34:31.400 Bye.

01:34:31.500 Bye.

01:34:31.560 Bye.

01:34:31.660 Bye.

01:34:32.160 Bye.

01:34:32.200 Bye.

01:34:32.220 Bye.

01:34:32.260 Bye.

01:34:32.560 Bye.

01:34:32.760 Bye.

01:34:33.160 Bye.

01:34:33.300 Bye.

01:34:33.760 Bye.

01:34:34.260 Bye.

01:34:34.300 Bye.

01:34:34.700 Bye.

01:34:35.300 Bye.

01:34:35.320 Bye.

01:34:36.260 Bye.

01:34:36.300 Bye.

01:34:36.800 Bye.

01:34:37.300 Bye.

01:34:37.320 Bye.

01:34:38.240 Bye.

Tower Gang - December 31, 2022

Ep 103 - Everything is Fake and Gay w⧸ Leonarda Jonie

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