Tower Gang - Ep 105 - One and a Half Threesomes w⧸ Robbie the Fire

00:00:00.520 What's up, retards?

00:00:02.060 The funniest 9-11 jokes were written on 9-12.

00:00:04.700 Women jerk off dicks like fucking they're an unruly ferret.

00:00:07.780 Yeah.

00:00:08.640 You ever had a 9-11 cocktail?

00:00:11.760 It's in Manhattan with two kamikazes.

00:00:13.920 And now.

00:00:16.160 You see, the socialists don't have an accurate answer for this, and she needs to account for it.

00:00:20.800 White women must be stopped.

00:00:22.820 That's right.

00:00:23.880 Yeah.

00:00:25.980 We can stay horny and retarded longer than she can stay sane.

00:00:30.000 What?

00:00:30.580 Your ass-to-penis ratio.

00:00:33.080 Ben, maybe you could say we had sex, but we didn't fuck.

00:00:35.520 You said n***er.

00:00:36.460 Oh, Jesus.

00:00:37.760 Free!

00:00:39.360 Fat Dave, fuck you, man.

00:00:41.160 Free!

00:00:42.060 Free!

00:00:44.680 Welcome, you big fat bitches, to another episode of Tower Gang, a.k.a. Timcast IRL South Edition.

00:00:52.100 As always, we are joined by Tower Gang Toad.

00:00:54.640 We got the host of No Way Jose, Mr. Jose Galison.

00:00:57.560 We got the host of Top Lobster.com, Mr. Top Lobster!

00:01:00.560 We got the fattest father in the world, Mr. The Fat Dave, and Clint Russell of Liberty Lockdown,

00:01:05.320 and our very special guest, the fucking delicious, delectable sandwich maker himself, Mr. Robbie the Goddamn Fire.

00:01:12.240 What's up, brother?

00:01:13.120 Thanks for having me on, boys.

00:01:14.740 Hell yeah.

00:01:15.320 Yeah, I guess we should start off the top with announcements.

00:01:19.760 Yeah, I have a fucking son, and he's as fucking cool as me.

00:01:23.560 That's not important.

00:01:24.780 We had important announcements.

00:01:27.560 We had skipping leg day constantly.

00:01:30.340 Are you dying your kid's hair, or does he have a different dad?

00:01:34.060 Well, I'm still trying to figure out, because the funny part was...

00:01:37.320 I'm trying to raise him to be a pro wrestler, like a bad one, like in a D-League, like catching

00:01:43.320 like a gym, you know?

00:01:45.940 What did he do with that haircut?

00:01:47.820 Dude, I...

00:01:48.460 He's the guy that gets thrown in the ring just to lose.

00:01:50.340 He was actually conceived before the show, and the funniest part, the guy that we had

00:01:54.200 on the show that night was Andy, which is Garbage Mane, who is a redhead.

00:01:57.800 So this whole time, I'm wondering if somehow some weird podcast gods took Andy's sperm, put

00:02:03.120 it in my dick, and then now I got a little redheaded baby, because neither me or my wife

00:02:08.680 are redheaded.

00:02:09.440 And then it just makes me think, like, did my wife just, like, go out with the ugliest

00:02:13.480 dude in the world and make this thing, so...

00:02:16.320 The podcast gods might have cut your dick out and just deposited it directly into her

00:02:21.240 vagina.

00:02:21.720 I just want to bring that to your attention.

00:02:23.580 It's possible, too, at the hospital that there was a little switcheroo.

00:02:26.800 There's probably a kid with some, like, plasma deficiency in some...

00:02:30.300 Oh, yeah.

00:02:30.680 I don't know what's wrong with this guy.

00:02:32.180 There's some parent that they're like, why is my kid waking up in the middle of the night

00:02:35.760 and sending out mean tweets?

00:02:37.140 All right, guys.

00:02:40.440 Announcements.

00:02:41.120 Me and Cole, actually, both, I guess, technically sort of an announcement.

00:02:44.120 Mine's a little bit more absolute.

00:02:46.040 February 15th.

00:02:48.140 Me, I will be getting a solo episode.

00:02:51.260 At least it sounds like it.

00:02:52.300 He hasn't said any other guests.

00:02:54.020 On TimCast IRL.

00:02:55.780 So, now, let me run this down real quick.

00:02:58.300 We have Clint and Top Lobster on January 17th, next Tuesday.

00:03:03.140 I can't remember reads.

00:03:04.960 It's in February.

00:03:05.980 He's part of this group, even though he only shows up sometimes.

00:03:09.260 Me on February 15th.

00:03:11.180 And Cole, what do you have to say?

00:03:13.280 So, I also got a DM from...

00:03:15.120 It's funny because Cassandra followed me today.

00:03:17.420 And then I immediately messaged the guy and I said, okay, I'm just waiting for my DM now.

00:03:20.920 And then, like, two hours later, she DMs me.

00:03:24.220 She was like, yeah, I'll have you on.

00:03:25.560 Just, we'll get everybody on.

00:03:27.480 But I could be honest, another solo show by myself.

00:03:31.220 So...

00:03:31.420 No.

00:03:31.940 You have to bring Toad.

00:03:33.340 It has to be you and Toad.

00:03:34.860 I just feel like...

00:03:35.920 Don't take this the wrong way.

00:03:37.080 I don't feel like either of you can carry a solo episode.

00:03:39.840 And then on the top of that, like, you guys are also better together.

00:03:42.620 Like, together, I actually think you could possibly have the best episode to have all of us.

00:03:46.640 But, like...

00:03:46.960 I'd rather we equal one Clint.

00:03:49.920 I'd interject and say, I think we should lobby for Toad to be on Jose's episode to completely sabotage Jose.

00:03:56.120 Because that would be...

00:03:56.680 Oh, my God.

00:03:57.300 I'd be so mad with that set up.

00:03:59.580 It doesn't work at all.

00:04:00.600 You definitely need me to be on Kohl's, though.

00:04:03.020 Because it's like Captain Retard, you know, with our retard powers combined.

00:04:07.580 Retarded autism.

00:04:09.340 That's what it is.

00:04:09.920 Yeah, I'm telling you, you both balance each other out into this fucking topsy-turvy little vehicle.

00:04:15.940 It's going to be so beautiful.

00:04:17.300 It has to happen.

00:04:18.140 It has to.

00:04:19.120 All right.

00:04:19.540 Now, not to come off like a total jealous cunt, but...

00:04:22.800 I need a better publicist, because how the fuck are you guys getting on this show?

00:04:28.440 I literally made this joke to...

00:04:30.300 Robbie, you're not as intensely retarded as we are.

00:04:33.200 We're as confused as you are.

00:04:35.040 We're like, is she watching the show?

00:04:37.360 What is going on?

00:04:38.680 Well, maybe a lot of people are like, I sent a meme into our group chat after I said that.

00:04:44.800 I was like, I feel bad for Robbie, because he's going to be sitting there like, while we're talking to you.

00:04:49.920 Yeah, we're all going to be on TimCast.

00:04:51.360 And he's like, I was Dave's right-hand man for years.

00:04:55.400 Hey, Robbie, Kim Iverson was given an exclusive deal on Rumble, and I was her guest on the very first episode ever.

00:05:01.380 So, like, I went down in history as one of the first ever guests on a show on Rumble.

00:05:06.380 It was exclusive, and it was a big deal.

00:05:07.580 But here's the thing, though.

00:05:08.640 Robbie's all over here.

00:05:09.620 Jesus.

00:05:10.340 Robbie's going down as the first ever guest on Tower Gang pre-TimCast.

00:05:17.980 And it's not...

00:05:18.860 You know what?

00:05:19.500 I'm telling you, and I've told Robbie this to his face, and I fucking mean it.

00:05:22.380 I think in a few years, like, you're going to be one of these comedians that we're talking about, and I'm going to be like, we had this show called Tower Gang, but now everybody's either on drugs or dead.

00:05:32.320 But Robbie the Fire was on episode whatever fucking this, 103 or whatever it was.

00:05:37.920 And they'd be like, wow, great.

00:05:38.860 Whatever.

00:05:39.300 Who cares?

00:05:40.060 No, Robbie, this is...

00:05:41.380 Clint, I got to ask.

00:05:42.600 Kim Iverson, I think she's doing some of the best work in the alternative media space.

00:05:47.500 Like, I really think she is excellent.

00:05:49.700 How was that?

00:05:51.040 It was great.

00:05:51.540 Thank you for supporting me by watching it.

00:05:54.240 It was great.

00:05:56.100 She's really, really cool, really, really sharp, gorgeous, and she messaged me right after and said she'd like to have me on regularly, which is fucking dope.

00:06:04.160 And I can't...

00:06:05.460 Should I bring this up publicly?

00:06:07.080 Probably.

00:06:07.180 Yeah, why not?

00:06:08.960 What?

00:06:09.840 We had sex.

00:06:11.280 No, I'm just kidding.

00:06:12.280 That's what I thought you were going to say.

00:06:14.400 No, no, I'm totally joking.

00:06:16.740 Because I caught a suspension for my James Lindsay episode.

00:06:19.140 By the way, I had James Lindsay on my show, Robbie.

00:06:20.820 I just want to let you know that.

00:06:22.560 And then I had the Surgeon General of Florida, Dr. Joseph Ledapo.

00:06:29.120 And then I also had Dr. Robert Malone on and then Viva Fries on tomorrow.

00:06:33.620 And just wanted to say things that are happening in my life that are special.

00:06:38.500 And no.

00:06:39.020 Okay, so I got suspended for my James Lindsay episode from fucking...

00:06:42.120 I got a strike on YouTube.

00:06:43.580 And I reached out to Kim because I know she likes me.

00:06:46.520 And I just said, hey, like my whole squad is hitting Timcast here soon.

00:06:51.660 Do you think that there's any chance that you can put me in contact with the person that gave you the exclusive deal over on Rumble?

00:06:56.940 And instead of just like giving me an email address so I can go begging for a fucking home, she says, yeah, I'll reach out to them.

00:07:03.320 So I don't know if it's going to happen, but just the fact that she was willing to do that is so fucking cool.

00:07:07.540 And I need a home that I can actually tell the truth on because none of us are long for the YouTube world.

00:07:14.280 Dude, that episode we did last night, I've watched it twice now because it was so good.

00:07:17.940 The one we would have was me, Clint Topp, and Shane Cashman, one of the journalists from Timcast, yesterday on my show.

00:07:25.560 And I've watched it twice.

00:07:26.580 It was so good.

00:07:27.780 And I'm like, I do not know how this hasn't been nuked yet.

00:07:32.580 And it got shared by Timcast News.

00:07:35.980 Shane showed up.

00:07:36.760 It was a really good episode.

00:07:37.960 I don't even try to say it's like my own dick.

00:07:39.140 It was just like the energy between all of us was just great.

00:07:42.400 And like that, I did want to tell a story because it was just kind of funny how serendipitous things worked out.

00:07:46.840 I mean, maybe I was on Cassandra's radar already.

00:07:49.620 But what happened was Shane shared it out.

00:07:52.920 Shane shared it out and fucking – and then she commented like, wow, that's awesome.

00:07:57.500 I'm going to watch this now.

00:07:58.520 And then first thing this morning, I got this message like, you want to be on Timcast on February 15th.

00:08:04.000 So I'm like, oh, it's just weird how that worked out.

00:08:05.700 Like, it may have legitimately just been like, you know, natural because like through Shane to that.

00:08:10.460 And it's just like she just loved what we were saying.

00:08:12.700 So I'm like, fuck yeah, dude.

00:08:14.080 It was a good episode for real.

00:08:15.480 Well, speaking about – well, censorship, Robbie has strike two because – can you explain that?

00:08:19.400 Because apparently your run your mouth has been pretty fucking based lately because YouTube's coming after you.

00:08:24.540 It's always been based.

00:08:25.520 Yeah.

00:08:26.400 It appears – no, I think YouTube's slicker than that where it appears that if I get over a certain threshold of channel growth, then I start getting strikes.

00:08:36.160 It almost seems like they got a way of cooling the channel.

00:08:38.620 And so it just seems like I won't be able to post to a certain platform for like three months, and then I'll be back, and I'll be there for about six weeks.

00:08:48.180 And then when I actually get the strikes for a random, it's not so much the content because I will have always had said things that were worse.

00:08:55.200 I've just noticed it's like once you start getting over like a certain momentum.

00:08:58.020 Wait, you had random on?

00:08:59.200 Totally why?

00:08:59.860 That's the key.

00:09:03.020 You got to have random on.

00:09:04.160 We had them on like back-to-back episodes, and all of a sudden like –

00:09:07.320 YouTube doesn't pay attention to you.

00:09:09.420 They're like they have this homeless, like –

00:09:12.000 So we don't have to worry about it.

00:09:14.260 Brandon's a human cooler.

00:09:15.900 They're like they already canceled their own channel, so it's fine.

00:09:18.560 We don't have to pay attention.

00:09:21.380 It's so fucking funny.

00:09:22.620 I love that guy so much.

00:09:23.600 I mean he even – he just randomly – I love when he randomly replies to something.

00:09:27.260 Like today, someone – because like I post about Cassandra, and then Carolyn Borisenko, that fucking bitch, said something like Cassandra had nudes out there, and random just comes in.

00:09:40.040 He was like, nudes?

00:09:41.500 I want you to know I also have bondage porn from the early 2000s.

00:09:47.300 Perhaps we should make a deal.

00:09:49.260 He's like I'm not judging.

00:09:50.240 I do that myself.

00:09:51.380 That's actually not random.

00:09:52.760 He spends his entire life waiting for that moment where he can have a bondage porn conversation.

00:09:59.720 He finally hit upon one of his topics.

00:10:02.180 He's like, yes, this is my in.

00:10:03.980 He was like I can talk about bondage porn.

00:10:05.740 I can talk about the Holocaust.

00:10:07.440 I can talk about doing cocaine right now.

00:10:10.140 Yeah, it's like if he had a publicist, that's like the worksheet of like his expertise.

00:10:15.320 He just has bondage porn.

00:10:16.580 Like somehow you can do keywords in your Twitter feed, and it just bondage porn, and whenever it comes up, he just immediately just responds to everything.

00:10:24.800 Guys, to be honest, if they did invite us on TimCast and they had like – they said, all right, Cole and Toad go on.

00:10:29.280 Sorry, Toad.

00:10:30.100 We should tell them that random is Toad and just send random because that would be – like if you really want to just fucking like send somebody a nuclear bomb, how hilarious would that be?

00:10:41.220 It's kind of perfect actually too because obviously random and Toad are not their real names, so you can just send them whatever name you want to buy the flight.

00:10:48.200 They would know better.

00:10:49.480 Let's not do that.

00:10:50.440 I also didn't realize we were going to spend –

00:10:51.820 I don't know TimCast, guys.

00:10:54.460 I also didn't realize that we were just going to spend this entire episode sucking each other off.

00:10:58.780 I know.

00:10:59.220 This is really – this is gay but not in a good way.

00:11:01.620 We're excited.

00:11:03.080 We want to share this stuff with you.

00:11:04.440 We're having – this is important thing.

00:11:06.100 No, no.

00:11:08.100 Robbie's just sitting in the corner while that's happening.

00:11:10.000 So now he knows what I feel like.

00:11:12.240 I don't even care about this stuff.

00:11:13.540 This is happening to me and I'm like, this is kind of boring.

00:11:15.560 So let's get into the topics, guys.

00:11:17.020 What do we got?

00:11:17.540 Let's do mailbag.

00:11:18.040 We got to start with mailbag.

00:11:18.960 Mailbag.

00:11:19.640 Dickie!

00:11:20.560 Mailbag.

00:11:21.480 Yeah.

00:11:22.360 Always – yeah.

00:11:25.120 Don't be too loud, Dickie.

00:11:27.040 All right.

00:11:28.260 That's too loud.

00:11:31.200 You good?

00:11:31.720 All right.

00:11:32.300 Novum says, I turned 21 on Sunday.

00:11:34.760 What should I do to celebrate?

00:11:36.660 Are you a female?

00:11:37.820 Wait, I'm sorry.

00:11:38.380 What was the question?

00:11:40.000 You're a fucking Mike, Dickie.

00:11:42.120 Like a professional.

00:11:43.360 Spend $300 on a show you get nothing for.

00:11:46.400 Hey, guys.

00:11:47.040 We got a letter here.

00:11:49.180 No – no of them is most –

00:11:50.300 He's the gingerbread man.

00:11:51.760 He just comes –

00:11:52.620 The answer to this is –

00:11:56.820 Wait.

00:11:57.320 What was his name?

00:11:58.580 Novum.

00:11:58.780 Novum?

00:11:59.660 Is that a female or a male, dude?

00:12:01.020 This changes my answer tremendously.

00:12:02.100 I assume a dude because he's cool.

00:12:03.440 He's a dude.

00:12:04.020 I know.

00:12:04.760 Oh, fuck.

00:12:05.860 So does your producer rescue from Epstein Island, is he allowed out at all or how – what are the terms of –

00:12:11.740 No.

00:12:12.860 It's actually a work release.

00:12:13.980 Of this boy child that you've purchased.

00:12:16.240 We keep him in the bag.

00:12:18.080 He stays in that bag right there.

00:12:20.040 That's right.

00:12:20.800 Yeah.

00:12:21.220 It's very similar to the one I drew and that's what he does.

00:12:23.600 He fucking reads our mail.

00:12:24.500 That's it.

00:12:24.860 Now read the mail.

00:12:25.880 Actually, don't say anything.

00:12:27.000 Yeah.

00:12:27.180 We have to answer the question.

00:12:28.060 Yeah.

00:12:28.200 He just fumbles our mail bag the whole time.

00:12:30.800 That's what he's doing.

00:12:32.360 I love how Tom's just ordering them around for no reason.

00:12:36.260 I mean, what should you do for your 21st birthday?

00:12:38.840 Get blackout drunk and sleep with someone.

00:12:40.860 That's obviously –

00:12:41.260 Correct.

00:12:41.780 Correct answer.

00:12:42.880 Get blackout drunk and jerk off to a threesome in the corner.

00:12:46.660 Also acceptable.

00:12:48.040 If you want to fit in with Tarrague, you've got to follow in Toad's footsteps.

00:12:51.240 I mean, other than that, I think that's what every red-blooded American does.

00:12:55.980 By the way, also, if you want to get blackout drunk really quickly and cheaply, go to a gay bar.

00:13:00.760 They always have cheaper drinks.

00:13:02.280 And if you're a good-looking guy enough, they will buy you drinks.

00:13:04.920 And so you can get away with being a cheap ass and being 21 years old where you have no money.

00:13:09.740 We know none of us have money.

00:13:11.020 You're also guaranteed to get laid.

00:13:12.880 If you want to be cheap ass, like you could put liquor in your ass, literally, and you'll get fucking wasted.

00:13:20.320 I'm telling you, though, gay bar is genius.

00:13:22.720 I've been to the gay bar before.

00:13:23.840 For one, it was the most fun time I've ever had in my life.

00:13:26.180 I could just dance like a faggot.

00:13:27.280 No one judged me.

00:13:28.660 They're just like, he's one of us.

00:13:30.400 And I'm just kind of fitting to the crowd and just do whatever the fuck I'm just feeling in my body at the moment.

00:13:35.960 And fucking, and then on top of that, I have to stay for the rest of this episode.

00:13:42.520 And also, you do get offered drinks like crazy.

00:13:45.520 I turn them down because I'm like, I do not trust this creepy gay dude who clearly wants to fuck me.

00:13:50.180 You're like, I'm just trying to dance and express myself.

00:13:52.960 I'm not like you guys.

00:13:55.640 The problem also is Jose's so short.

00:13:57.660 He's just at dick level.

00:13:58.700 So he's just getting hit with dicks all night.

00:14:02.040 Assless chap dicks.

00:14:03.200 I haven't had too many blackout experiences, but I think when I was, I think it was either 22 or 23.

00:14:10.920 There used to be this bar in the East Village called Continental, and I think they did five shots for $10.

00:14:16.380 It was like cheap garbage, but like they did something along those lines.

00:14:19.660 And me and my friend decided that we were going to do 23 shots for my 23rd birthday.

00:14:24.620 Oh my God.

00:14:25.260 And so we're sitting down and we got after it.

00:14:27.920 And then at one point they cleared the table and I yelled at them.

00:14:30.760 I was like, we lost track.

00:14:32.200 Like we had the aisle for a reason.

00:14:34.480 We were working towards a goal.

00:14:36.500 So I don't know how far we got into that process.

00:14:39.520 And also they were definitely like watered down drinks.

00:14:41.660 But I can tell you, we left the dent that night.

00:14:46.160 And I remember getting on the subway at like 12 a.m., 1 a.m., like around those times, we went one stop.

00:14:53.300 I fell asleep on the subway, we went one stop.

00:14:54.720 And I was like, we got to get off.

00:14:55.960 We got off the subway, threw up in the garbage, got back on the subway, went one stop.

00:14:59.640 I was like, I got to get off.

00:15:00.920 And then the next thing I remember was it was 7 in the morning and I was walking up the, like the stairs out of the subway.

00:15:06.880 And I was like, what happened?

00:15:08.520 We got on the subway at 12.

00:15:10.380 I was like, why is it 7 in the morning?

00:15:14.100 And my friend said that I had fallen asleep.

00:15:17.140 And every time he tried, I was like, just let me sleep one more stop.

00:15:19.820 Like all the way to the Bronx and back.

00:15:23.420 I was just telling you, man.

00:15:24.700 I got on at fucking 12.

00:15:26.200 And then I remember waking up, like walking up the stairs.

00:15:29.520 Like I don't even remember like waking up on the subway.

00:15:32.120 Like I remember like coming to, walking out and just being like.

00:15:35.540 You like literally see the light and you're like, did I die?

00:15:38.660 If you're from New York, you'd never had a night like that, then you're not really from New York.

00:15:43.200 Yeah, you have to have a homeless simulator night one time in New York.

00:15:47.400 You just have to, like you're just, your body goes into auto mode.

00:15:51.280 And auto mode is always homeless mode.

00:15:53.120 That's what we figured out here.

00:15:54.580 I also remember, and I, this story might not be true.

00:15:58.400 Like I'm just saying, like I have a memory of this.

00:16:00.900 It also like doesn't make sense to me.

00:16:02.780 I seem to remember because it was always like a funny game falling asleep on the subway and then whether or not you would wake up at your stop and like nine out of ten times it would magically happen.

00:16:12.880 But sometimes you would sleep one stop too far.

00:16:14.900 And now you had like a three mile walk home type thing.

00:16:17.520 Like that shit would happen.

00:16:19.200 I remember once being really fucked up and falling asleep at 96th Street and then walking, waking up two hours later at 86th Street.

00:16:28.240 Wow.

00:16:28.720 No, I don't, like I'm confused on that story because I don't even know if that line goes in a perfect circle.

00:16:35.360 But like I do, I do seem to remember having that memory.

00:16:38.700 I worked for the MTA.

00:16:40.040 It'll go all the way.

00:16:41.540 And someone's supposed to wake you up at the end.

00:16:44.080 Right.

00:16:44.320 It's just all black people that don't care about their job.

00:16:46.820 Yeah.

00:16:47.560 They just mopped around you real quick.

00:16:49.840 Right.

00:16:50.100 And they told the conductor to go.

00:16:51.840 You went back on your way.

00:16:53.320 Like, is it, do you think it's like a worse feeling of doing that, falling asleep on the subway or whatever and waking up randomly or like being high and driving home from work or something like that?

00:17:04.540 Because when you're high and driving, you're just like, well, I'm saying because don't you, it's like that time difference.

00:17:09.700 You're like, you have no idea.

00:17:10.680 Like, you're like, I know it's 45 minutes till this exit.

00:17:13.960 But, well, like when you're high, you're like, I have no fucking clue.

00:17:16.920 It depends on when you are in a car driving high and you know you shouldn't be driving.

00:17:22.580 I had a lot of those instances in high school.

00:17:24.920 Like specifically when you turn on, this is the greatest tell for you shouldn't be driving.

00:17:29.380 I'll tell you the two greatest tells.

00:17:30.860 One is if you turn the left hand blinker on and go right and then you get into the right lane and then you process like, oh, that was backwards.

00:17:38.840 That happens when you're high.

00:17:39.980 That's one thing that happens.

00:17:41.140 And I can tell you, this was a great like, oh, I knew I shouldn't be driving story was I once in college.

00:17:47.280 I went to like maybe maybe it was Moe, some concert.

00:17:50.480 I don't remember what concert.

00:17:51.420 I'm stoned out of my mind.

00:17:52.980 Me and my friend, we go to some like pizza place in Queens.

00:17:55.620 We go into the pizza shop.

00:17:57.100 And the first thing that like was just like a warning sign was the guy.

00:18:00.740 It was late at night and he's stacking all the pizza boxes for the next day.

00:18:04.160 So he probably made like 100 pizza boxes.

00:18:06.380 He turns around.

00:18:07.280 He goes, hey, guys, I'm going to go grab your pie.

00:18:09.120 If you can just watch these boxes.

00:18:10.240 He turns around and the whole pile just falls.

00:18:13.300 Literally the whole thing falls.

00:18:15.160 And me and my friend just like die laughing.

00:18:17.320 We're laughing in this guy's face.

00:18:18.840 He couldn't be more pissed at us.

00:18:20.480 He's like, I just turned around.

00:18:21.800 He thought we did it on purpose.

00:18:23.180 He gives us our pie.

00:18:24.320 We leave.

00:18:25.260 We go to the car.

00:18:26.260 We sit in the car.

00:18:27.020 We start eating the pizza pie.

00:18:28.520 I get out the keys.

00:18:29.780 And the keys, they don't they don't fit into the fucking like ignition switch.

00:18:33.820 And I'm like, what the fuck is going on?

00:18:36.220 And then we realized we weren't in my car.

00:18:40.380 We had just walked into some guy's car in Queens.

00:18:44.180 It didn't even look like my car.

00:18:46.460 It wasn't even on the same block as my car.

00:18:48.880 Wait, who leaves their car unlocked?

00:18:50.300 And yet we then walked to my car and I drove on my way.

00:18:55.940 Oh, I had one time, one time me and my cousin got super blitzed in the projects with my other

00:19:02.600 cousin, you know, the projects like we were like, like up on the 15th floor and we were

00:19:06.940 like, all right, let's go for a drive.

00:19:08.100 We're going to go to Rockaway or something from Coney Island.

00:19:10.200 So we get into the elevator and like all three of us are there and we notice human feces in

00:19:15.860 the corner.

00:19:16.220 And I can't tell you how long we were there.

00:19:19.420 It could be five minutes.

00:19:20.840 It could have been 45 minutes.

00:19:22.260 Nobody pressed the down button or like a destination for the elevator.

00:19:25.660 So the door's closed and we're just standing there looking at shit for the longest time.

00:19:29.840 Oh, no.

00:19:30.700 And again, like you said, after we're like, did anyone press a button?

00:19:33.660 And he's like, I don't know how long we've been here.

00:19:35.320 Like nobody knows.

00:19:36.520 They press a button and they'll just drive like nothing happened.

00:19:39.080 I was like, no, we were too high to drive.

00:19:41.340 But it is what it is.

00:19:42.660 All right.

00:19:43.100 I don't do that shit anymore.

00:19:44.940 But it being when you know you're in a car and you shouldn't be driving that it's not

00:19:50.880 fun.

00:19:51.400 It's just like you just, you know what I mean?

00:19:53.280 It's just not fun.

00:19:56.040 It depends on how it is.

00:19:57.560 The most fun if you're in really remote areas and you're not concerned about the police

00:20:03.160 or, you know, other things.

00:20:05.200 Yeah.

00:20:05.440 Driving high for me, at least is way worse than driving drunk because it's like you have

00:20:10.040 like I, at least for me, it's all tunnel vision.

00:20:12.400 So you can't like actually focus or like see where you're going.

00:20:15.900 But when I'm drunk, it's just like a delayed reaction.

00:20:18.200 Or maybe it's just because I was way worse.

00:20:20.220 You're talking about it's like I was more focused or way less focused on driving.

00:20:25.080 You're like, I'm going to go way less.

00:20:27.620 Yeah.

00:20:28.060 I've driven feloniously, like I have driven criminally drunk, like so, so drunk that when

00:20:35.440 I get home and I wake up in the morning and I'm like, I should be in prison right now.

00:20:39.220 Anybody else?

00:20:39.780 I mean, the key is not though what's legal.

00:20:41.400 It's like, you know, when you're good to drive, like, you know, you're like, I just told

00:20:45.000 you guys, but I also know when I'm not.

00:20:47.120 And I've still driven that drunk a few times.

00:20:48.800 New Year's Eve to New Year's Day, I may have been a very drunk and I had to bring my son

00:20:56.540 to the hospital.

00:20:57.200 It's like, well, what do I do?

00:20:58.400 You drive.

00:20:58.860 That's tough.

00:20:59.580 So, yeah, I drove.

00:21:01.000 Well, he got there.

00:21:01.640 He's OK.

00:21:02.120 Nobody died.

00:21:02.800 I mean, he almost died.

00:21:04.000 But look, you get him the keys and you go, here you go, bud, and you figure it out, bro.

00:21:08.740 No crime, dog.

00:21:10.520 If you crash your car, he's still going to wind up at the hospital.

00:21:13.080 So it's all good.

00:21:13.440 Exactly.

00:21:13.900 Yeah.

00:21:14.100 So that life hack.

00:21:17.500 Someone will get you there.

00:21:18.800 I woke up and he was in the hospital.

00:21:21.940 I got him there.

00:21:22.660 You probably got to keep moving the mailbag.

00:21:24.420 This is our first one.

00:21:25.040 What else?

00:21:25.160 I'm handcuffed, but it's OK.

00:21:26.720 Kids, be safe.

00:21:27.520 We don't we don't endorse driving drunk.

00:21:29.280 And this is all ancient history.

00:21:30.740 We're different people.

00:21:31.380 We fully endorse driving drunk.

00:21:33.440 But if you're if you're between 18 and 25, you ought to be.

00:21:36.200 I am a proponent of drunk driving.

00:21:37.800 I'm just not driving drunk or my wife driving.

00:21:40.180 I'm choosing me driving drunk.

00:21:41.520 I will get to where I need to go.

00:21:43.920 I'm very risk adverse, particularly when it comes to like cops and the law.

00:21:48.800 So I found when I was in high school and college, my brain was undeveloped.

00:21:53.400 So I didn't really think of the consequences.

00:21:54.920 And I drove drunk and high all the time.

00:21:57.420 I find now as an adult, I just like I'm not afraid of accidents.

00:22:01.260 I can handle myself.

00:22:02.260 I'm more just afraid of small towns getting pulled over type deal.

00:22:05.660 And I've had a number of experiences where I was pulled over, fucked up from driving.

00:22:09.980 And I was just like lucky that I kind of got away with it.

00:22:12.820 Me and Cole's registration has both been out for years.

00:22:16.500 Yeah, my car is my car is also not currently registered.

00:22:19.500 I agree.

00:22:20.320 I just watch the cops.

00:22:21.600 It's all I do.

00:22:22.600 Yeah.

00:22:22.820 Oh, yeah, dude.

00:22:23.380 I oh, man.

00:22:24.240 You are the best driver.

00:22:26.440 If your car is not registered and you see a cop, all of a sudden, like you are fucking like on a church Sunday drive.

00:22:32.860 Like, it is like you're just like 10 and 2 and I am just straightforward.

00:22:36.780 Do not look over at the cop.

00:22:38.060 You know what?

00:22:38.460 I do want some beef jerky from the convenience store right now.

00:22:42.360 The worst.

00:22:43.160 I actually had this a couple of weeks ago.

00:22:45.320 So we were driving somewhere and then a cop pulls behind me.

00:22:49.060 And like I said, my tag is out of date.

00:22:51.300 I don't know if you have.

00:22:52.080 I know where I live.

00:22:53.100 You have the stickers on it that have the date and year.

00:22:56.640 Yeah.

00:22:56.920 And well, mine is like from my wife's for the previous year, which you got a new one.

00:23:00.060 So I was like I was thinking like maybe they see it.

00:23:01.480 They're like, well, it's only a year out.

00:23:02.640 Like, no, mine's 2019.

00:23:04.300 Mine's four years old.

00:23:05.180 Just color it differently and just draw the numbers.

00:23:08.540 And so like I see a cop pull behind me.

00:23:10.420 So I was like, whatever.

00:23:11.160 And I was beside a mall.

00:23:12.300 So I was like, I'll just pull into the mall and go that way instead.

00:23:15.280 So I pull over, get into the mall and the cop follows me.

00:23:18.280 And I was like, oh, shit.

00:23:19.940 That's when you're in panic mode.

00:23:21.200 Like, fuck.

00:23:22.440 I mean, I was tensed up.

00:23:24.160 And so I'm still driving.

00:23:25.560 And I get all the way like around because I was still going to where I was going.

00:23:28.840 I get all the way around to another red light to pull out of the mall parking lot.

00:23:33.020 And I turn and the cop follows me again.

00:23:35.200 And I'm like freaking out.

00:23:37.300 I'm like, babe, like we don't have the money to pay you.

00:23:39.360 Like whatever the fine is on this.

00:23:41.280 You're going to have to sell your pussy later.

00:23:43.360 Yeah, I'm sorry.

00:23:44.100 I'm sorry.

00:23:44.760 But it was like.

00:23:45.800 We have to sell his redheaded baby to this cop.

00:23:48.500 He'll just sell plasma unless he's totally tapped out.

00:23:52.020 I don't know.

00:23:52.180 Oh, yeah.

00:23:52.460 I'm tapped out.

00:23:53.220 And then he turned left somewhere.

00:23:54.720 And I just kept going.

00:23:55.560 I was like.

00:23:56.100 But it was like.

00:23:56.800 It's like the relief.

00:23:57.960 I mean, it's like an adrenaline rush.

00:23:59.440 Like it's like jumping out of a plane.

00:24:00.840 And that relief afterwards after you make it.

00:24:02.500 That's what it feels like when you beat the cops.

00:24:03.920 And after you're just like, I'm fucking awesome.

00:24:05.300 I can do this forever.

00:24:05.980 Yeah, my entire.

00:24:09.040 I had to change at all.

00:24:10.140 Like I did not change my way.

00:24:11.860 I never.

00:24:12.280 Registration is like 70 bucks.

00:24:14.120 Why don't you guys have a registration?

00:24:15.640 70 bucks is dealing with shit.

00:24:17.340 Yeah.

00:24:17.940 Yeah.

00:24:18.340 It's annoying.

00:24:18.980 I have.

00:24:19.860 I have a actual.

00:24:22.640 Yeah, I have a story.

00:24:23.640 I think it's past the statute of limitations.

00:24:25.040 So I can tell this.

00:24:26.280 I was driving.

00:24:26.680 You always say that.

00:24:27.480 I raped a woman in 2002.

00:24:29.980 I murdered a guy.

00:24:31.500 I was.

00:24:31.880 I was driving very, very drunk.

00:24:33.480 I had a Nissan 300 ZX, which is like pretty, pretty cool sports car, especially for the

00:24:37.540 90s.

00:24:37.880 It was really cool.

00:24:38.280 For four people.

00:24:39.280 Well, yeah, of course.

00:24:40.760 If you're a trashy wannabe rapper, then live in a Florida.

00:24:45.760 You lower it.

00:24:46.480 You put some new rims on.

00:24:47.780 Yeah.

00:24:47.980 You are fucking golden.

00:24:48.840 Dude, I had the chrome rims.

00:24:50.400 Yeah, I knew it.

00:24:51.300 I threw Flowmasters on that fucking, that rice rocket.

00:24:54.560 It sounded sick.

00:24:55.840 Anyways, I am driving home from a house party.

00:24:58.380 Super, super hammered.

00:24:59.620 And I'm like two blocks away from my buddy's house because I'm going to another house party

00:25:02.500 because I'm a total degenerate.

00:25:04.240 And a cop fucking like busts a U-turn because I'm driving probably stupid.

00:25:10.520 And instead of doing, you know, just like taking my punishment, I'm like, I know I'm

00:25:16.120 going to jail and my car is being impounded and I floor it.

00:25:19.520 And I fucking, and I shit you not, I fucking drove away from the police and I swoop because

00:25:25.080 I knew the area really well.

00:25:26.320 I knew there was like this roundabout that was behind my buddy's house.

00:25:30.140 And I pull in, I fucking, I like slam my e-brakes.

00:25:34.140 I shut off my lights as soon as I go around the corner and I pull in and I shut off the

00:25:37.820 lights and I just pull my seat back and I just lay there and the cop fucking drives by.

00:25:42.300 It was so intense.

00:25:43.720 I got away with a DUI by outrunning the police and outsmarting them.

00:25:47.140 Clint, you are officially black, I think.

00:25:51.000 It's a true story too.

00:25:52.300 I know it sounds totally bullshit, but it's actually true story.

00:25:54.380 You just outland you in a car instead of your fucking legs.

00:25:56.660 There were a couple of times in the country that I legit did juke the cops out.

00:26:01.840 Like, especially in the, like, when you live in the country, you know, back roads and stuff,

00:26:05.000 you can evade a cop real quick.

00:26:06.420 Like, obviously, like if you're like, it's been a minute and they start getting the radio

00:26:10.360 and calling in reinforcements, you're fucked.

00:26:12.540 But if you can get out within those like first five minutes and it's game over, buddy.

00:26:15.740 Like, fuck you.

00:26:18.800 So I'm, I'm very reluctant on the drunk driving.

00:26:21.860 But when I was living in the city, I used to love biking home.

00:26:25.960 Like, I'm talking like road, like bicycle fucked up.

00:26:29.560 Like, it was a game of how fucked up I could get and still bike home.

00:26:33.640 And I'm, and like, I had like a six mile bike ride home over a bridge.

00:26:38.620 And I would get like, I mean, I, I, it was, it was like a personal game and challenge of

00:26:43.920 how absolutely hammered in stone can I be and still survive this ride?

00:26:49.300 I felt like a weird fitness thing, honestly, because it's almost like a skill you're building

00:26:53.380 up.

00:26:53.840 Even when my equilibrium is fucked, I don't keep soldiering on.

00:26:57.460 Here's a better game, Robbie.

00:26:58.940 You take, you take as many vaccines as you can, COVID vaccines, and then you ride the

00:27:03.760 bike and see how long is your heart.

00:27:05.480 Oh yeah.

00:27:06.280 Whether or not your heart can take it.

00:27:07.840 That's not bad.

00:27:08.820 That's right.

00:27:09.460 Yeah.

00:27:09.620 I really test your heart.

00:27:11.160 As a testament, I, I probably did that ride 150 times.

00:27:15.360 Never had a problem.

00:27:16.700 Wow.

00:27:16.920 Oh, you want to make it once in the vaccine though.

00:27:18.980 You would literally die like two miles in.

00:27:21.200 You'd be like, and then just, I mean, it was like, no, it was from commotion card is

00:27:26.280 somebody.

00:27:28.320 Commotion card is whatever the fuck it is.

00:27:31.340 Your Fauci impersonation is fire.

00:27:34.260 I'm going to have to keep doing this now.

00:27:36.160 Save that for two guests.

00:27:38.860 No, it was commotion.

00:27:41.980 Because in football games, people never get hit in the chest, but at this point, we actually

00:27:47.800 took a trauma to the chest.

00:27:49.880 So it was clearly the tackle.

00:27:51.600 It's a 350 pound black.

00:27:54.340 Of course.

00:27:55.400 Oh my God.

00:27:56.400 Can you imagine?

00:27:57.300 Well, the problem was it was a large black man that hit him.

00:28:03.020 Muscle in the fucking ankle.

00:28:04.940 You got to realize I'm a scientist and they bled them.

00:28:08.780 They bled them back.

00:28:13.500 If you follow me in the eighties with the ace stuff, I would have got rid of all of them.

00:28:18.240 We'd have to worry about it.

00:28:20.060 A football in your hometown would be safe.

00:28:25.040 Do not see what I'm doing here.

00:28:27.180 Look, men banging into each other is always dangerous.

00:28:32.480 Imagine that's like the narrative that like Fauci was actually the good guy.

00:28:35.600 He was trying to get rid of black people and gays.

00:28:38.160 Oh yeah.

00:28:38.420 He's just a weird eugenics guy that is just like, he actually broke the, he actually like

00:28:44.220 actually did it.

00:28:45.000 And then he was just like, whoa, maybe I should.

00:28:47.680 Yeah, he's fighting on me this.

00:28:50.060 I want a Christian nation too.

00:28:52.880 Get rid of the blacks and the Jews.

00:28:54.200 I'm getting rid of all the stupids.

00:28:58.600 I changed my mind.

00:29:01.480 So that, by the way, no, that's what you should do your 20th or first birthday.

00:29:04.040 All of that.

00:29:04.620 Everything.

00:29:05.180 Everything that we just said.

00:29:06.540 Do it all.

00:29:07.400 Do it all.

00:29:07.660 Just a 30 minute bit.

00:29:09.140 All right.

00:29:09.820 Dickie, next one.

00:29:11.720 Liminal Vibration asks, which of y'all is most likely to be abducted by said aliens?

00:29:18.140 Oh, it's tough.

00:29:18.660 Oh, aliens?

00:29:20.420 Why would it be?

00:29:21.220 Well, I mean, does Robbie count?

00:29:23.700 Because Robbie basically just told a story where it happened.

00:29:26.100 So all that missing time.

00:29:27.840 I don't know.

00:29:28.240 Oh, that's true.

00:29:29.080 Yeah.

00:29:29.460 You were just on a subway by yourself.

00:29:30.960 You could have been fucking, you know, taken by the Jews or the aliens, whatever you want

00:29:34.980 to think of it was.

00:29:35.800 Taken by the Jews.

00:29:37.080 I mean, you have to be taken back by the, actually, is that a thing?

00:29:40.880 Like, cause I know you came from like the Orthodox community.

00:29:42.960 Do they actually like take people back by force?

00:29:45.840 Dude, dude, I just realized Orthodox Jews kind of look like the grays, if you think

00:29:49.860 about it.

00:29:52.820 That's so ridiculous.

00:29:54.200 No, I'm being serious though.

00:29:55.700 Get rid of the hairpiece and like, you know, you kind of get rid of the makeup or the gray

00:30:00.640 skin comes out.

00:30:01.200 Dude, it's a gray dog.

00:30:02.260 If you leave, do they come looking for you and be like, yo, what the fuck?

00:30:05.960 Nah, nah, nah.

00:30:06.720 They leave you alone.

00:30:08.840 They let you go.

00:30:09.420 Yeah, no one.

00:30:10.800 There's no vans that just pick up like rogue Jews.

00:30:13.560 We're bringing you back to the compound.

00:30:19.020 It's not a good enough investment to do it.

00:30:21.040 So they're just not going to cut our losses.

00:30:25.480 The answer to this question is Cole though, because he's had so many related experiences

00:30:30.400 in his family.

00:30:31.360 Like grandparents.

00:30:33.000 Cole would be the one, cause it's always like people that it's not believable, like country

00:30:36.840 retards.

00:30:37.260 That's a great point.

00:30:38.180 But like Cole is the one that they would abduct.

00:30:39.980 Cause like, no one's going to fucking believe him.

00:30:41.340 They abducted my wife.

00:30:42.340 She came out with a redheaded baby.

00:30:43.900 I don't know what happened.

00:30:46.080 This guy's on plasma.

00:30:49.140 Oh, that would, that would so suck because they would also definitely anally probe me.

00:30:53.400 And I'd be like, babe, I did not have gay sex with a man.

00:30:56.200 I got anally probed by aliens.

00:30:57.940 And she's like, did you ask the doctor about the red hair thing?

00:31:02.520 I know.

00:31:04.840 Well, because so I like, you try to survive this doc.

00:31:08.280 Do you guys keep a geneticist on staff?

00:31:13.900 I mean, maybe instead of a doctor, what you need is the Maury show.

00:31:18.440 I need somebody to pray over that baby.

00:31:20.860 Well, yeah.

00:31:21.260 Well, I was wondering if I could get a refund.

00:31:23.380 I was like, this one's broken.

00:31:24.700 Like this one's like, I got a defect.

00:31:27.280 The defect.

00:31:28.400 Okay.

00:31:28.720 Yeah.

00:31:28.840 But the thing is, this is how we know it is actually Cole's son.

00:31:31.580 Because no, nobody else can have a kid.

00:31:33.840 That's that retarded.

00:31:34.880 So.

00:31:35.320 Yeah.

00:31:35.600 And it's very weird.

00:31:36.840 Also, it is the most annoying thing in the world.

00:31:39.760 Because every time we see somebody, they go, oh, that hair.

00:31:42.780 Where'd it come from?

00:31:43.640 And they look straight about it.

00:31:44.500 And I'm like, like.

00:31:45.940 Well, you should just be like, yeah, my wife, my wife cucked the shit out of me.

00:31:52.020 I'm really big into that shit.

00:31:53.840 Yeah.

00:31:54.380 Just to make it worse, it was with a fucking gross ass ginger.

00:31:57.580 The most confusing part was actually a black man.

00:32:00.020 So we're still just blown away.

00:32:01.980 I don't know what happened.

00:32:03.740 No, I could be, I could tell like, because my Christian friends, I'd be like, actually,

00:32:06.960 it was a ginger.

00:32:08.200 So it's no soul.

00:32:09.700 It's not a sin.

00:32:10.600 I still, it's like, I just, you know, had sex with literally nobody.

00:32:13.880 It's dope how you don't cut his hair so he looks even more freakish.

00:32:17.240 Like, it's all like, throw it out.

00:32:18.480 He's only a month old.

00:32:19.720 You can fucking comb that.

00:32:21.800 You can comb it.

00:32:22.880 He's going to be on fucking national television and you don't even comb his hair.

00:32:25.940 He's going to be on Timcast.

00:32:27.020 Are you going to leave his shit like that?

00:32:28.360 I'm actually shocked that Cole's son is not a skinhead, so.

00:32:32.540 His first word is going to be, faggot.

00:32:33.860 I already know that.

00:32:36.060 All right, what do we got next?

00:32:37.580 Could be nigger.

00:32:38.460 We don't know.

00:32:40.000 That was just no reason at all.

00:32:41.820 No reason for that.

00:32:42.800 Gratuitous, gratuitous slurs, which I mean, I normally like, but just for no reason.

00:32:47.040 Come on, man.

00:32:47.460 You're better than that.

00:32:48.240 All right, Lil Dicky, what do we got?

00:32:50.860 Lorenzo asks, if I'm banging one of my homies because he hasn't lost his virginity and I

00:32:55.160 want to help him out, is that gay or is that just an act of service?

00:32:58.600 That's gay.

00:32:59.220 That's gay because your homie's still not losing their virginity.

00:33:02.160 They're losing their butthole virginity, right?

00:33:03.720 I told you, you know, to lose his virginity, he would have to place his penis into your

00:33:11.140 butthole, which then would, would that be gay?

00:33:14.460 Yeah, it would be gay, too.

00:33:15.720 I feel like it's a gayest gay person.

00:33:16.760 I feel like, yeah, that's even more gay.

00:33:19.420 I guess what would be gay would be to kidnap a lady and tie her down for him.

00:33:24.440 That would be a not-gay solution.

00:33:26.740 I'm not saying to do it.

00:33:27.580 I'm just saying if you're trying to come up with a technical, it sounds like a math question.

00:33:31.720 It sounds like a math riddle for what you could do to help your friend not be gay

00:33:36.400 and also lose his virginity.

00:33:38.220 And also, okay, for your 21st birthday.

00:33:40.400 But you can also double-team, and at the same time, as long as you don't touch dicks during

00:33:45.280 the double-team rape, still good.

00:33:47.460 Not gay at all.

00:33:48.320 You're still good.

00:33:48.660 Your virginity is moving at 10 miles per hour, and an innocent pass nearby is coming at 5 miles

00:33:54.040 per hour, and you kidnap her, fuck her, and not be gay, and also not go to prison.

00:34:00.540 Rapes are notoriously unsolved, so you're probably all right if you play the math, you know?

00:34:05.300 Honestly, if you wear a condom, no skin touched, I don't think you're gay.

00:34:08.780 So you should just call her a liar and tell all your friends she's a liar, and you'll

00:34:12.620 be all right.

00:34:13.080 That's where no skin in the game comes from, actually.

00:34:17.720 The question seems to be if Lorenzo would fuck his friend, which it seems like this is at

00:34:22.240 Little Dicky.

00:34:23.320 Yeah, it is at Little Dicky.

00:34:24.460 They're the best friends.

00:34:26.300 If he fucked you, then you'd lose your virginity, but in a gay way.

00:34:31.680 Is it gay?

00:34:32.280 Yeah, it's gay.

00:34:32.820 It's inherently gay.

00:34:33.620 I don't understand the question.

00:34:35.040 Wait, wait.

00:34:35.320 So if Little Dicky fucks him, though, is that not gay?

00:34:38.220 I just want to remind everyone that Little Dicky is a child.

00:34:41.940 I just want to remind you.

00:34:43.580 Before we just delve too far into this, I thought it was weird that you had this man-child producer

00:34:49.180 cuckboy from Epstein's Island, and now it's particularly weird that we're now describing

00:34:54.500 raping him.

00:34:55.480 By the time that the cops start to investigate, he'll already be 18.

00:34:59.020 This is fine.

00:34:59.400 We don't have to pay him, so there's a big loophole with the IRS, who are definitely coming

00:35:04.100 after most of us later this time.

00:35:06.400 Sure, Lorenzo.

00:35:07.040 He pays us.

00:35:07.740 No, that might be a separate crime.

00:35:08.920 I'm not sure.

00:35:10.260 Ah, ha, ha.

00:35:11.280 Little Dicky, you're not his friend in real life.

00:35:13.100 That sucks.

00:35:13.460 No, so...

00:35:14.460 No, so...

00:35:15.960 But that is...

00:35:17.000 There's kind of an interesting question here, though, right?

00:35:18.980 We're like, how much gayer is it to be on the receiving end of that than the giving

00:35:23.160 end of it?

00:35:23.880 You could almost make a case that fucking a dude is the straightest thing you can do

00:35:30.820 in the world.

00:35:31.460 You can't, for the opposite.

00:35:33.180 Like, you're literally dominating another man.

00:35:35.760 Like, a full-grown man.

00:35:37.760 Right.

00:35:38.200 That's like as heterose as you're top.

00:35:40.160 Yeah, as long as you're top.

00:35:40.180 Yeah, that's as heterose as it gets, man.

00:35:42.960 Like, I'm fucking a fucking dude right now, man.

00:35:45.580 Yeah.

00:35:46.260 He's just letting me.

00:35:47.480 Also, by the way, it can't be a twink either.

00:35:50.020 Like, or, like, as long as it's not a twink.

00:35:52.240 It has to be a burly man.

00:35:53.500 You have to have, like, a actually...

00:35:54.720 Like, you have to...

00:35:55.880 This is literally animalistic is what you have to do.

00:35:58.060 Do you think if Derek Chauvin were to have dominated...

00:36:01.520 He did.

00:36:02.460 He did.

00:36:02.940 He did.

00:36:03.380 He did.

00:36:04.100 But, I mean, with his dick, though, like, would that have been as bad?

00:36:08.160 Ooh.

00:36:08.680 It would have been immoral because it's interracial, but not good.

00:36:12.960 Dude, I so hope we get Jesse Lee Pearson.

00:36:15.080 What is going on with the e-mails?

00:36:16.520 We've been e-mailing him back and forth.

00:36:18.400 I don't think there's been a response to the last one I sent yet.

00:36:23.060 Dude, I cannot imagine Jesse Lee Pearson here would be the greatest.

00:36:26.820 By the way...

00:36:27.560 He'd be so mad with us right now.

00:36:29.120 I don't give a fuck.

00:36:30.500 This just reminds me, just real quick, the fact that we were talking about that chick who fucks dogs on the last episode.

00:36:35.620 And I realized that that is almost the same thing as Clint talking about how he likes to fuck wolves all the time.

00:36:40.240 But it's just, like, fucking the wolves' retarded cousin or something like that.

00:36:43.920 I don't know.

00:36:44.320 I had all that going through my head.

00:36:45.500 Why, Toad?

00:36:46.420 Just why?

00:36:47.940 I don't even know where that was going.

00:36:50.000 I don't understand the reference.

00:36:51.740 No, but I'm glad he brought it up because I wanted to drop the gauntlet again on the wolf community.

00:36:57.100 If the wolf comes for me, I will rape you.

00:37:00.140 Don't come for me, wolves.

00:37:01.260 That's weird.

00:37:01.640 So, Robbie, a couple episodes ago, Clint, we were talking about our intrusive thoughts.

00:37:06.940 And Clint said, like, when he meets a friend or someone online, he immediately sizes them up and thinks about if he could, like, rape them, physically rape them.

00:37:16.300 Is this something that goes through your head?

00:37:18.520 Never.

00:37:19.100 Not once.

00:37:20.300 Never.

00:37:21.060 What are some intrusive thoughts?

00:37:23.420 Because I, like I said, mine were, whenever I'm driving, I do think, I, like, envision myself having laser eyes.

00:37:31.580 And I look out the window and I just cut people's legs, arms, trees, houses.

00:37:36.200 I did it today.

00:37:37.480 Cole, I did it today.

00:37:38.440 I was driving.

00:37:38.900 I know.

00:37:39.200 I started doing it.

00:37:40.300 My intrusive thought is I'm driving.

00:37:42.460 And now I have a new car and it has the lane assist.

00:37:45.420 And it's like, if you go out the lane, it's like, beep, beep, beep.

00:37:47.160 And I'm just like, I don't give a fuck.

00:37:48.580 And I thought about it.

00:37:49.480 And I was like, I could just, meep.

00:37:51.420 Again, I should call Cole.

00:37:53.220 I just realized.

00:37:53.420 I just realized you could run a psychological profile on us just by the show and the dumb shit we say.

00:37:58.060 Like, they could be like, you clearly have repressed thoughts about your mother.

00:38:01.280 And, like, your father probably didn't pay much attention.

00:38:03.400 Like, like, for example, like, mine in the show, I fucking said it was like, I legit will size up women and be like, could I kill her with one punch?

00:38:11.260 Like, I'm not going to do it.

00:38:12.180 But it's like, how far would she go?

00:38:14.020 Like, how far would she go?

00:38:15.700 Like, would I break her jaw?

00:38:17.440 Like, would I, like, break her?

00:38:18.840 Like, she's like 90 pounds.

00:38:20.120 I'm like over 200.

00:38:21.120 I'm a muscular man.

00:38:21.720 I think I could fucking kill her.

00:38:23.220 What are these for you, Robbie?

00:38:25.560 I want to, because it is, I always like hearing people's intrusive thoughts.

00:38:29.000 I feel like I'd almost have to, like, catalog them as they come.

00:38:32.520 It's not something I, like, dwell on that much.

00:38:35.960 Can you give me a better definition of, like, what you categorize as?

00:38:40.020 Because it sounds to me like when you, like, you guys are just talking about, like, the dark fantasies when you're bored.

00:38:45.300 Well, it's the thing of whenever, like, you see, like, let's say you go to the Grand Canyon and there's a kid beside you.

00:38:53.640 And just for a second, you go, I could toss that kid.

00:38:56.360 I could just toss the kid.

00:38:57.260 Yeah, a good example is the reason why it came up is because we were talking about this video where this guy has this axe.

00:39:02.600 He's just evaluating it.

00:39:03.700 And then just randomly, he just chops the one motherfucker right in the head and kills him.

00:39:08.080 And I was just like, my comment, what sparked the conversation was, like, he lost the fight to his intrusive thought.

00:39:13.400 That's all that was.

00:39:14.400 And his head was like, I wonder what the fuck would happen.

00:39:16.520 And then he just went, what happened?

00:39:18.940 And then after, he was probably like, fuck.

00:39:20.560 I think he didn't die, by the way.

00:39:24.060 I do.

00:39:24.780 Definitely.

00:39:25.580 Like, a little thing.

00:39:26.620 I should do this horrible thing.

00:39:28.040 And you're like, why did I even think that?

00:39:30.420 Like, I'd never do that.

00:39:32.100 That's what we're talking about.

00:39:33.080 I get it.

00:39:33.760 I get it.

00:39:34.100 I can't ruin your career right now.

00:39:36.360 What's yours?

00:39:38.880 What is your career suicide letter?

00:39:40.700 Just let it go.

00:39:42.420 When you lose the fight to your intrusive thoughts, what will it be?

00:39:46.060 You've never thought about pulling a shotgun on Dave Smith?

00:39:48.020 I could totally take this show over.

00:39:52.360 I deserve at least 50% talking time.

00:39:54.860 Come on.

00:39:55.920 I've definitely had this experience.

00:39:57.760 But here was, like, one that I remember I used to fantasize about a lot, which was, and this one's insane.

00:40:02.980 I mean, this is, like, as psychopath as you can possibly get.

00:40:06.640 But for some reason, I've envisioned tearing off my own arm and then using it as a weapon because of, like, the whiplash of your arm.

00:40:15.160 And then thinking about that, if you pulled your own arm off, how many people in the room could you, like, successfully just fucking whack in the head and fucking knock out before someone got here?

00:40:25.900 I feel like you win just with the arm pull.

00:40:28.000 Yeah, because if someone's arm pull, you're like, whoa.

00:40:31.400 I do not want this fucking smoke.

00:40:33.440 I used to have that, like, when I was sitting in synagogue, just bored out of my mind.

00:40:38.320 Like, I would look at whoever was leading the services and just wonder, if I were to attack him, like, how much time would I have to get out of the room and be, like, free and clear?

00:40:48.020 Or how many people?

00:40:49.520 Like, when I was bored, I would play these games in my head for sure.

00:40:52.260 My favorite part of this fantasy is that your immediate thought was, how many people can I knock out before I get caught?

00:40:59.180 As opposed to, how many people can I knock out before I faint from blood loss?

00:41:03.120 Oh, no.

00:41:03.640 It's interesting.

00:41:04.920 I understand that the dynamics don't make sense.

00:41:06.940 How would you rip it off just to yank it?

00:41:11.740 Like, what do you...

00:41:12.360 Oh, that is, like, bare strength.

00:41:14.760 Just ripping, like...

00:41:16.000 Because that would...

00:41:17.000 Fuck with people.

00:41:17.980 If they just, like, just rip your...

00:41:18.940 Like, because they're like, wow, that dude is strong as fucking hell.

00:41:21.480 He just ripped both his skin, muscle, and bone just right out.

00:41:25.440 Dude, I saw that shit on Skid Row in LA.

00:41:27.620 I've seen it.

00:41:28.620 It's like if a retard actually put time and effort into working out, and he has that retard strength still to work.

00:41:34.220 Oh, my God.

00:41:34.520 He has no can't.

00:41:35.780 So he could do something crazy and rip his arm off.

00:41:38.720 But he's also trained his body to the peak pinnacle.

00:41:41.560 So he's just like, I can fucking do it!

00:41:43.900 My favorite thing that Jose talks about is how retards don't have can't in their minds.

00:41:48.460 Yeah, the can't chromosome.

00:41:50.220 Yes.

00:41:50.540 The can't chromosome.

00:41:51.420 Strong chromosome.

00:41:51.540 They lack that chromosome.

00:41:53.400 Mine, by the way...

00:41:54.500 No, they just have the extra can chromosome.

00:41:57.720 That's right.

00:41:58.660 They've got one too many cans.

00:42:00.280 Yeah.

00:42:02.680 Mine, I don't even know if I mentioned it, but mine...

00:42:05.020 What's worse?

00:42:05.440 What's worse?

00:42:05.880 Having a baby with an extra can chromosome or a ginger baby?

00:42:10.940 That's a can, you know?

00:42:11.980 You can't get pussy.

00:42:13.560 The can is worse.

00:42:13.940 I have a constant intrusive thought to tell people to go fuck themselves.

00:42:17.680 Oh, yeah.

00:42:18.100 I mean, that's like nearly every interaction where I'm just ready to be like, all right, I fucking quit this job.

00:42:23.040 You can go fuck yourself.

00:42:24.220 I mean, that's like constantly in my head with every profession I've ever had.

00:42:29.660 So, that one's a pretty constant.

00:42:31.660 Very, very quick story.

00:42:32.820 I broke my arm terribly in Central Park in New York.

00:42:35.200 And I was taken to the hospital.

00:42:37.020 And I was given morphine.

00:42:38.860 And they were about to give me Dilaudid.

00:42:40.500 Because the morphine wasn't doing shit.

00:42:42.000 But it fucked my mind up.

00:42:43.300 This black dude came in to set my arm.

00:42:44.940 And I had a terrible, terrible intrusive thought to call him the N-word.

00:42:49.840 And I have no idea why.

00:42:51.420 I've never had this urge in my life.

00:42:53.860 In my life.

00:42:54.580 Never.

00:42:55.060 But they hit me with morphine.

00:42:56.560 And I was just like, meh.

00:42:58.680 I'm just like, meh.

00:43:01.120 I couldn't.

00:43:02.080 I was so close.

00:43:04.160 Wouldn't it be great if one of the side effects of morphine was compelled to say the N-word?

00:43:08.340 Oh, yeah.

00:43:09.800 1% of people.

00:43:11.580 Like the doctors.

00:43:12.360 Everyone turned around.

00:43:13.080 He goes, no, no.

00:43:13.600 That's a side effect that happened.

00:43:14.760 And sometimes.

00:43:16.280 It's like you just get Tourette's.

00:43:17.640 Like it's like morphine just gives you racial Tourette's.

00:43:19.840 That's all you get.

00:43:20.300 It's like.

00:43:21.180 This black nurse was jacked.

00:43:22.760 I was in so much trouble.

00:43:23.880 If I was.

00:43:24.200 And I'm sitting there with a broken arm too.

00:43:25.540 So I'm like.

00:43:25.940 I'm helpless.

00:43:26.540 If I just say it.

00:43:27.320 Like.

00:43:28.380 I'm terrified that at some point in my life.

00:43:31.560 I have to go into surgery.

00:43:33.420 And my wife is there.

00:43:34.480 And then they put me under.

00:43:35.640 But not quite all the way under.

00:43:37.080 And I just start telling her all these like.

00:43:39.440 Intrusive thoughts.

00:43:40.260 Or like awful things.

00:43:41.380 Wild shit under stuff.

00:43:43.100 Like.

00:43:43.260 I've heard some crazy stories.

00:43:44.580 My dad was a doctor.

00:43:45.720 Yeah.

00:43:45.980 And like.

00:43:46.500 He's like.

00:43:47.160 He's been under.

00:43:48.100 You know.

00:43:48.360 Multiple times.

00:43:49.000 He's obviously put people under.

00:43:49.960 People do weird stuff.

00:43:51.040 When they're under.

00:43:51.420 Well it's sodium pentothal.

00:43:52.980 They use it as like truth serum.

00:43:54.500 So you could do that.

00:43:55.740 Mine.

00:43:56.140 Real quick.

00:43:56.780 Is like.

00:43:57.140 You know.

00:43:57.340 You just feel at your most powerful.

00:43:59.040 When you're driving.

00:43:59.860 In a vehicle.

00:44:01.240 But no.

00:44:01.620 Mine is just like the Carmageddon thing.

00:44:03.500 Where it's like I'm driving.

00:44:04.540 And I just envision myself.

00:44:05.660 Just like running everybody down.

00:44:07.520 I mean.

00:44:08.060 Almost every time.

00:44:09.260 And I feel like.

00:44:09.840 I think it's.

00:44:10.320 My wife is watching right now.

00:44:11.620 She's going to hear this.

00:44:12.320 And she's going to be like.

00:44:12.940 I will never let you touch our baby again.

00:44:14.560 Every time I think about.

00:44:15.760 When I'm walking through a doorway.

00:44:17.080 It's hitting his head on the doorway.

00:44:18.480 That's it.

00:44:18.720 Yeah.

00:44:19.220 Me too.

00:44:19.900 Me too.

00:44:20.520 Soft spot.

00:44:21.220 I just want to.

00:44:22.380 No.

00:44:23.000 I just.

00:44:23.960 I don't know.

00:44:24.420 It's like.

00:44:24.800 There's this weird thing in me.

00:44:25.840 I was like.

00:44:26.300 I can make him cry.

00:44:27.280 Like really bad right now.

00:44:28.760 No.

00:44:29.000 I think it.

00:44:29.540 I think it.

00:44:30.080 When they're crying.

00:44:30.840 I'm like.

00:44:31.020 I can just do it.

00:44:32.200 And say sorry.

00:44:33.740 Yeah.

00:44:33.940 You know why Cole thinks about that though.

00:44:39.800 It's because that's what his father did to him.

00:44:41.520 I wouldn't.

00:44:42.000 I wouldn't be surprised.

00:44:42.900 I actually.

00:44:43.480 They.

00:44:44.320 Apparently.

00:44:44.860 Do you remember those little like.

00:44:46.440 Yellow and red.

00:44:47.500 Like little cars that kids drove in.

00:44:49.940 You know.

00:44:50.500 Like had the like.

00:44:51.320 Yellow hump on it.

00:44:52.540 I used.

00:44:53.060 I took that.

00:44:54.080 Straight down.

00:44:55.020 Like a flight of stairs.

00:44:57.040 And so it just fucking just like.

00:44:58.820 And apparently I busted up all my face.

00:45:00.600 And everything.

00:45:00.940 This is like when I was like three years old.

00:45:02.820 And they were like.

00:45:03.520 TBI.

00:45:03.940 Early.

00:45:04.760 Yeah.

00:45:05.140 I was like.

00:45:05.800 Yeah.

00:45:06.160 That might have fucked me up for life.

00:45:07.640 Apparently.

00:45:08.160 Like I.

00:45:08.700 My face was incredibly bloody.

00:45:10.220 But no scars or anything.

00:45:11.460 Spoiler alert.

00:45:12.120 It did.

00:45:12.760 Yo.

00:45:13.160 Yo.

00:45:13.360 Yo.

00:45:13.500 Yo.

00:45:13.780 Yo.

00:45:13.880 Yo.

00:45:13.980 Yo.

00:45:14.000 Yo.

00:45:14.080 Yo.

00:45:14.140 Yo.

00:45:14.180 Yo.

00:45:14.200 Yo.

00:45:14.240 Yo.

00:45:14.300 Yo.

00:45:14.680 Yo.

00:45:14.780 Yo.

00:45:15.180 Yo.

00:45:15.200 Yo.

00:45:15.280 Yo.

00:45:15.700 Yo.

00:45:15.780 Yo.

00:45:15.800 Yo.

00:45:15.840 Yo.

00:45:15.880 Yo.

00:45:15.900 Yo.

00:45:15.980 Yo.

00:45:16.000 Yo.

00:45:16.080 Yo.

00:45:16.100 Yo.

00:45:16.200 Yo.

00:45:16.280 Yo.

00:45:16.300 Yo.

00:45:16.380 Yo.

00:45:16.700 Yo.

00:45:17.200 Yo.

00:45:18.200 Yo.

00:45:18.280 Yo.

00:45:18.300 Yo.

00:45:18.380 Yo.

00:45:20.260 He said we should hire.

00:45:21.220 Like there's a site that he found that some former FBI guy that will do a psychological

00:45:24.640 profile on people you give him.

00:45:26.680 Like can you imagine if we just like I don't know every once a month we just give one

00:45:30.180 of the members and then we just do it on the show.

00:45:32.140 That would be such a great fucking bit.

00:45:34.720 This is just a honeypot.

00:45:36.460 You realize that.

00:45:37.680 I don't give a fuck.

00:45:38.900 This is 100% just a honeypot.

00:45:40.940 We got to give him our DNA.

00:45:41.920 The quit is a honeypot.

00:45:42.920 We keep him around.

00:45:44.460 Yeah.

00:45:46.600 Jesus.

00:45:47.280 This is.

00:45:47.380 All right.

00:45:47.620 We can stop looking at that.

00:45:49.000 Pull up the Patreon.

00:45:50.260 Pull up the Patreon.

00:45:51.240 You could.

00:45:51.580 You can donate to the Patreon and we can do this.

00:45:53.580 But I think it's only probably Toad.

00:45:55.800 We can do this to Toad.

00:45:57.160 Do you have any more mailbag questions before we.

00:45:59.300 Yeah.

00:45:59.560 Let's do.

00:46:00.300 I think we have more.

00:46:01.380 We got to do the mailbag.

00:46:02.760 Yeah.

00:46:02.920 Speed the fuck up.

00:46:04.220 All right.

00:46:05.200 We're having fun.

00:46:06.240 You know.

00:46:06.560 I don't know.

00:46:07.060 Okay.

00:46:07.480 David asks what is the weirdest sponsor that any of the big shots have been offered?

00:46:12.740 Oh.

00:46:13.460 Clint.

00:46:13.800 I get NFT bullshit all the fucking diamonds.

00:46:16.260 I'm going to.

00:46:16.600 I'm going to pee.

00:46:17.100 I'll be back in a second.

00:46:17.800 Is that all right?

00:46:18.460 Yeah.

00:46:18.700 Sweet.

00:46:19.100 Clint.

00:46:20.180 What's the weirdest one you've gotten so far?

00:46:23.080 You don't keep a pee cup around, Robbie?

00:46:24.840 What the fuck?

00:46:26.080 I mean.

00:46:26.700 Yeah.

00:46:26.960 A little bottle for it.

00:46:28.020 Everything.

00:46:28.400 Everything is professional.

00:46:29.720 Fairly reasonable, to be honest.

00:46:32.360 Flasks was kind of like.

00:46:33.940 I don't know.

00:46:35.180 Flasks are cool.

00:46:36.340 No, they are.

00:46:36.880 Honestly, I thought it was like probably good for my audience, to be honest.

00:46:39.380 But that was, that's like, that's the weirdest thing I've been.

00:46:42.860 I need a flask.

00:46:44.840 I feel like I would.

00:46:45.980 I have a flask somewhere.

00:46:46.580 I almost never use it.

00:46:47.500 Every man should have a flask.

00:46:48.940 Just put water in it.

00:46:49.880 It's the coolest.

00:46:50.360 You'd just be like, look at this, dude.

00:46:52.140 Yeah.

00:46:52.300 Just put water in it or whatever you want.

00:46:55.260 It would be like a Coke or something.

00:46:57.240 So it's dark, nice and brown.

00:46:58.420 So they think you're getting like hammered.

00:47:00.260 Like they think you're getting hammered during like the day.

00:47:02.600 And it's just like, I'm just drinking Dr. Pepper.

00:47:04.300 Dude, my, my exes, like many exes ago, her stepdad who was living with her and raised

00:47:10.780 her, he, he was such an alcoholic that he would like, and he was, I think he fucking,

00:47:15.800 I think he worked like in a construction site or maybe he was like a delivery driver.

00:47:19.420 I think he was a delivery driver.

00:47:20.680 Holy shit.

00:47:21.100 This is so much darker than I remember.

00:47:23.220 Homeboy would take a flask with him every day to work and just get fucking blitzed while

00:47:27.020 he's driving around, dropping off packages.

00:47:28.600 If you keep it at a balanced level, you could do that all day.

00:47:31.460 I could actually, if I was a delivery driver, I would actually probably do that.

00:47:34.140 I was a bus driver.

00:47:34.700 Like I would like just like.

00:47:36.540 School bus driver actually.

00:47:37.800 Yeah, school bus driver.

00:47:38.920 The short bus in back.

00:47:39.920 These fucking kids are annoying.

00:47:40.980 I need to get hammered.

00:47:41.800 I would just keep myself at that like slightly tipsy level all day long and fucking golden.

00:47:46.820 I really think, I really think it would be better.

00:47:48.640 Like if your hammer is a bus driver, you probably, I mean, the thing isn't like fast or

00:47:53.960 like twitchy.

00:47:55.080 So you can kind of slowly.

00:47:56.320 I drove a bus and was deployed for like, I don't know, probably three, four months.

00:48:00.160 And fucking like, it is like, it is definitely like a long vehicle like that.

00:48:03.860 It's like, I would not.

00:48:04.780 So yeah, you can turn.

00:48:05.720 It's the turns where the drunk would be a problem because you would underestimate the

00:48:09.020 turn radius and you would just clip shit all over the place.

00:48:12.920 Under steer and just.

00:48:14.280 Yeah.

00:48:15.140 All right.

00:48:15.520 What was the question?

00:48:16.320 I don't even remember.

00:48:16.940 Next one.

00:48:17.200 Your weirdest sponsor.

00:48:18.760 Yeah.

00:48:19.020 So like for me, I don't get weird sponsors, but every week, every week or so at TopLobster.com,

00:48:24.160 someone will email me and tell me an idea of what they want me to put on the shirt.

00:48:28.260 And it's usually like, I mean, keep sending them.

00:48:30.640 I laugh, but they're fucking crazy.

00:48:32.720 Every day.

00:48:33.440 Top gets some new upstart show.

00:48:35.240 There's like, Hey, uh, is there any way like I could get like a profile?

00:48:39.600 I'll give you credit.

00:48:40.420 I'll say you did it that too.

00:48:43.060 Yeah.

00:48:43.260 A lot of, yeah.

00:48:43.880 Have you ever had any weird besides underwear, which is probably the weirdest sponsor out of

00:48:48.980 anybody, which you're getting sponsored by underwear.

00:48:51.220 Yeah.

00:48:51.360 You're getting sponsored by underwear.

00:48:52.340 Like there's, I mean, dude, sheath underwear fucking kills it.

00:48:55.540 Oh no.

00:48:55.780 They fucking, they're awesome.

00:48:57.100 They're the best, but we get 20% off and I will build them for this ad read.

00:49:04.660 Has there been anything weird?

00:49:06.340 Not really.

00:49:06.800 I mean, I work with Kratom Kratom is fucking awesome though, but I guess that would fall

00:49:10.220 into the weird category.

00:49:11.600 Kratom almost ruined my brother's life, but yeah, it was bad anyways.

00:49:16.640 The kid was autistic.

00:49:17.680 So, you know, if I like there are other problems, yeah, I don't think it's fair to blame the

00:49:23.240 Kratom.

00:49:24.920 He was taking like 25 grams a day of Kratom.

00:49:27.920 Okay.

00:49:28.060 Well that's pushing it dog.

00:49:29.800 By the way, speaking of weird sponsors, should we just do ours right now?

00:49:33.320 Yeah.

00:49:33.480 This would be the most logical time to do our sponsor.

00:49:35.640 What I was going to say is I did my, my in-laws, like randomly my father-in-law texted me

00:49:41.840 because he found out I was taking like supplements and stuff and he was like, Hey, have you heard

00:49:45.440 about the supplement they're taking?

00:49:47.140 It'll turn your baby's hair red.

00:49:49.740 It's like, they were like, uh, you don't definitely know how to take it.

00:49:52.600 It's called Kratom.

00:49:53.460 And I was like, people aren't taking Kratom to work out in.

00:49:56.160 Yeah, they are.

00:49:57.080 They totally use it for that.

00:49:58.500 Yeah.

00:49:58.900 Yeah.

00:49:59.740 Kratom's a great stimulant.

00:50:00.640 I mean, I wouldn't want to get like cranked on Kratom and go work out, but like a little

00:50:05.820 bit kind of, it gives you a little bit of like a, all right, let's fucking do some.

00:50:08.500 I'm definitely doing Kratom now.

00:50:10.760 Like that.

00:50:10.940 It's like a slight, like energy stimulant.

00:50:13.020 It's like basically like diet opiates.

00:50:15.060 That's basically what they are.

00:50:16.840 Like for opiates to me, always think of downers.

00:50:19.060 I don't know why.

00:50:19.520 I like to slam heroin and then go fucking lift heavy.

00:50:22.000 Well, okay.

00:50:22.900 All right.

00:50:23.540 I, I had a pill, a pill phase and like the way most opiates never got to full blown

00:50:28.640 heroin.

00:50:29.100 I just never graduated to that level.

00:50:30.720 But, uh, like, you know, like pills, Roxy's, oxy's, like usually like you kind of have a

00:50:34.520 little period where you're kind of like, you know, it depends on your dosage obviously,

00:50:37.560 but like, especially if you keep it a reasonable dosage, you have the first time you're kind

00:50:40.920 of up.

00:50:41.300 And then usually later when it comes down, like I used to get cranked on fucking, like I actually

00:50:45.660 got addicted to it from high school sports because I would take them like, like particularly

00:50:49.240 soccer.

00:50:49.800 Like, cause like the first half I would have that energy and the second half I'd start

00:50:53.560 coming down and get cranky and I get fucking really like aggravated.

00:50:57.080 Like I full on football tackled a guy in soccer once and this guy got up and looked at his

00:51:00.120 face like, what bitch?

00:51:01.340 Yeah.

00:51:01.500 When you're coming off opiates, you're a real son of a bitch.

00:51:04.340 I was scary.

00:51:05.300 Cause like I was roughly the same size as I was now built like a boulder and just fucking

00:51:09.640 in soccer with these fucking faggot, just rolling them over on cranked on fucking opiates.

00:51:16.160 All right.

00:51:16.840 Sad story.

00:51:17.660 Yeah.

00:51:18.000 I thought it was fun.

00:51:19.800 I miss the good old days.

00:51:21.960 It's very Florida.

00:51:24.600 Yeah.

00:51:25.240 Super Florida story.

00:51:26.760 I was all state, dog.

00:51:28.080 You're a mess every day.

00:51:29.260 Drugs can get you places, guys.

00:51:33.400 Are we done?

00:51:34.720 Uh, I don't know.

00:51:35.720 I think the mailbag, I don't know.

00:51:37.360 Because if that's the mailbag, we can do our plugs and our-

00:51:40.020 We've done-

00:51:41.140 But do the-

00:51:42.240 Yeah, do we do in the ad read?

00:51:43.320 What's going on?

00:51:43.980 Yeah, let's do the ad read.

00:51:44.800 Let's fucking do it.

00:51:45.680 Bring it up.

00:51:47.020 Thank you.

00:51:47.400 I forgot what our angle was.

00:51:49.480 Well, you guys can come up with your own angle if you want.

00:51:51.940 But, uh, we actually have a sponsor now.

00:51:54.320 It is Fox and Sons Coffee, and they're a family-owned coffee business out of Michigan.

00:51:59.100 And the owner, Steve, is- he's created the company in honor of his father, and he is using

00:52:05.220 it to teach his son's entrepreneurship.

00:52:06.960 So, I know Steve.

00:52:10.180 Cool.

00:52:10.660 Yeah, hell yeah.

00:52:11.900 It's been scientifically proven to put a full inch to the size of your penis.

00:52:15.400 Yeah, that's why I'm drinking this all the time now.

00:52:19.680 I have one of the-

00:52:20.000 I've actually- I've put this coffee in my ass.

00:52:22.380 I've been boofing this coffee, and it's given me quite the boost throughout the day.

00:52:26.300 I feel bad for Steve's dad.

00:52:27.540 Does he know where he's advertising this shit and putting his dad's name there?

00:52:29.720 Women will flock to your manly phallus if you drink this coffee.

00:52:33.200 Fans of the Tower Gang podcast, use code GANG and receive 15% off orders over $25.

00:52:39.240 All orders over $37.99 receive free shipping.

00:52:42.480 Discount good now through February 28th, 2023.

00:52:44.660 Use tower code GANG.

00:52:46.540 There's no way that's real, Clint.

00:52:48.160 That sounds like a steal.

00:52:51.700 But wait, there's more.

00:52:53.860 There's not, actually.

00:52:54.940 It's just-

00:52:55.820 No.

00:52:56.460 It's just literally GANG.

00:52:57.600 Use code GANG at foxandsons.com.

00:53:00.520 Yeah.

00:53:00.620 Well, the thing about top boofing it, it's not a lie.

00:53:02.980 He wants to do coffee enemas.

00:53:04.660 No, no.

00:53:05.920 Dude, we gotta come up with a fucking Big J, Dracula voice for this.

00:53:11.120 Hi, I am the fucking Fox and Sons faggot.

00:53:18.780 What?

00:53:19.900 There's actually a lot of health benefits to putting coffee in your anus.

00:53:24.320 Look, man.

00:53:25.320 Make it Fauci.

00:53:26.500 Look, all I know is I like my-

00:53:27.980 Fox and Sons faggot Fauci.

00:53:29.720 All I know is I like my coffee like I like my slaves.

00:53:33.480 Hey, let Rob go.

00:53:34.380 What was Robby saying?

00:53:35.280 Owned by me.

00:53:36.700 I got nothing on Fox and Sons.

00:53:39.240 That's all you guys.

00:53:41.840 I have a separate coffee deal, and it's explicit I can't talk about other coffees.

00:53:46.680 They will probably be in the description if we're somewhat professional, and if we're not,

00:53:50.380 you're gonna have to rewind and look this up.

00:53:52.260 They'll be in the description.

00:53:53.220 I get all my energy needs from Kratom.

00:53:57.200 Kratom says I can't talk about coffee.

00:53:59.420 They are strong competitors.

00:54:02.640 Kratom's extraordinarily dangerous.

00:54:04.280 We're like doing competing sponsors.

00:54:08.100 Don't buy Kratom.

00:54:10.440 I don't need coffee.

00:54:11.720 Thanks to my nuts being in sheath underwear,

00:54:14.160 you can have a Kratom I pick.

00:54:16.860 No, play a funny video before plugs, please.

00:54:19.880 Oh, yeah.

00:54:20.480 Oh, you want a funny video?

00:54:21.520 Which we have a couple of videos.

00:54:23.340 Bring us a funny video, little Dickie.

00:54:25.560 We have a couple that were posted in the chat earlier,

00:54:28.440 if you're talking about one of those.

00:54:30.420 Okay, I don't care.

00:54:31.220 Oh, yes.

00:54:32.260 Oh, yeah.

00:54:33.220 I just said now, would.

00:54:34.840 I still would.

00:54:35.560 Weirdly hotter after the vax injury.

00:54:37.640 That's the question to this video.

00:54:39.220 It's just would or wouldn't play it.

00:54:42.040 Oh, that's it?

00:54:43.100 Oh, would or wouldn't, like whether you get a boner or not?

00:54:45.940 I mean, the answer is obviously would, but go ahead and play it.

00:54:48.140 All right, play it.

00:54:49.380 Grow up, Joe.

00:54:51.520 I know some of you might recognize me from my initial post on Instagram.

00:54:55.980 Max Wallian, please.

00:54:57.260 That's what women look like after I'm done with them.

00:54:58.640 I've been hiding a lot.

00:54:59.800 I'm not showing you exactly what this has done to me.

00:55:02.220 Dude, look at them tits.

00:55:03.740 I'll just say that chicken probably feels great.

00:55:06.180 Have you ever had sex with a chick who would, like, use a vibrator on the outside?

00:55:09.080 That's probably what this is like.

00:55:10.160 Dude, my wife's epileptic, and I've always been worried we'd start fucking and she'd have a seizure.

00:55:22.560 But, like, part of me is, like, kind of wanted it.

00:55:24.680 Dude, she's got, like, full-blown tart hands.

00:55:27.460 Look at that.

00:55:28.600 Holy shit.

00:55:29.620 You could just titty fuck her, and you don't even need to do anything.

00:55:32.420 You just let it right in there, and it's like the machinery's already vibrating.

00:55:36.760 That's like, are you, are you, are you, I just, like, asking her, like, are you coming or are you dying?

00:55:40.840 I can't even tell anymore.

00:55:41.840 You can always pretend like you just did that to her, like, oh, I just got that bitch off.

00:55:47.280 This is the perfect woman.

00:55:48.460 There's no way she can run away if we're trying to get it out.

00:55:51.700 And there's no way she could tell on you if you did something fucked up.

00:55:54.360 You'd be like, doctor, she's clearly insane.

00:55:56.200 Look at this fucking retard.

00:55:57.580 She consented to take this vaccine.

00:55:59.500 She doesn't know what she's doing.

00:56:01.000 And there's also the tiniest chance that she might get better, and then you just have, like, a regular, normal, like, girl.

00:56:07.720 That was a fair question from Joshua.

00:56:09.820 Pull up that comment again.

00:56:11.580 Look at his fucking, look at his picture.

00:56:15.740 No.

00:56:17.420 He doesn't.

00:56:18.820 I'm assuming that that is not the real Joshua Smith.

00:56:22.080 It can't be.

00:56:22.660 That's Pat Josh Smith right there.

00:56:24.040 That's awesome.

00:56:25.860 He's not in the position to say women.

00:56:27.560 Toad says no more than anybody, but he never means it.

00:56:30.240 Ever, ever means it.

00:56:31.660 Yeah.

00:56:32.120 That's true.

00:56:32.980 Actually, I don't know, because we've been in a chat for almost two years now, and literally, it could be any type of woman.

00:56:39.180 Like, any shape, any size, any color, anything.

00:56:44.060 And he's just like, I could do it.

00:56:45.840 Yeah, I could do that.

00:56:47.480 Oftentimes, I'll be talking about these girls I'm talking to, and he'll be like, gross.

00:56:51.640 I'm like, yeah, he has oddly, weirdly high standards.

00:56:54.840 Like, what is going on here, dude?

00:56:57.140 I don't know if you realize your-

00:56:58.160 I want to say it's high.

00:56:58.960 It's just different standards.

00:57:00.200 It's like-

00:57:00.440 Fucked up.

00:57:01.380 It's like he doesn't understand the standards.

00:57:03.460 He has just, like, put them everywhere.

00:57:06.060 I mean-

00:57:06.640 Why am I 43 and single?

00:57:08.360 I don't know.

00:57:08.720 I have weird, high standards.

00:57:09.940 You just never know, man.

00:57:14.920 You never know what I'm going to think.

00:57:16.240 You're such an elitist and also pathetic at the same time.

00:57:18.480 It's weird.

00:57:19.020 By the way, do you think anybody deserves what they get for taking the vaccine?

00:57:23.660 Yeah.

00:57:23.840 Yeah, of course.

00:57:24.420 Yes.

00:57:24.900 Oh, okay.

00:57:25.780 Wow.

00:57:26.040 I mean, you could possibly get the chance of not getting COVID.

00:57:33.640 Like, if Jose were to go full-tarred, like, halfway through an episode because he did

00:57:37.680 it because he wanted to keep his military job, like-

00:57:39.940 Oh, yeah.

00:57:40.260 Sorry, Jose.

00:57:41.400 Yeah.

00:57:41.700 Sorry.

00:57:42.600 Yeah, I had to get out the back.

00:57:46.340 Well, now you better rely on that settlement with Pfizer.

00:57:49.680 Yeah, but probably you've done more-

00:57:50.980 Looked into more of this than probably almost anybody.

00:57:53.240 Do you ever feel sorry for the ones that-

00:57:55.760 Not just, like, the first vaccine.

00:57:57.740 Like, when they're on, like, the third booster.

00:57:59.700 That's the one I'm just like, okay, you got it.

00:58:01.460 I bet Robbie and Dave are the only Jews that didn't get vaccinated last year.

00:58:05.540 Yeah, dude, I feel bad for anyone that got suckered by it.

00:58:08.400 Like, you know, people are just in the system and they trust it, which is a shame because

00:58:14.120 it, you know, brings bad things upon them.

00:58:16.560 But, like, some people, like, they're just in it.

00:58:19.000 They're not bad people.

00:58:20.120 And a lot of them have very good intentions where they-

00:58:22.840 I mean, they just have this faulty philosophy that, like, we all have to do as we're told

00:58:26.560 because that's the only way that society can function.

00:58:28.640 So, like, they're sheep people, but they're not bad.

00:58:32.000 They're not ill-intentioned.

00:58:33.500 Like, sometimes-

00:58:34.460 I mean, sometimes where they're ill intentions is that they're dumb and their stupidity lets

00:58:38.960 them believe that they are more noble than we are.

00:58:41.900 And so then they become cunty with their perspective, which is why all of us start getting upset

00:58:46.680 with them because we're like, dude, you're just-

00:58:48.760 You're dumb.

00:58:49.380 You're not better than me because I thought about this a little bit more and I know that

00:58:52.680 you're wrong.

00:58:53.180 So, like, that's where they start becoming- where it jumps from, I guess, good intentions

00:58:59.600 to kind of, like, that liberal cuntiness where you're like-

00:59:02.760 Dude, Robbie's just trying to sweet-talk the blonde from the video we just watched.

00:59:05.540 Hey, real quick, on the positive side, now we get Robbie and Dave to be able to finally

00:59:12.340 get into the council of the Elder of Zion and that he can run the banking system because

00:59:16.440 all the other ones will be dead.

00:59:17.460 So, you know, this works out, man.

00:59:19.040 Now, where does it-

00:59:20.540 That's what Illuminati I want.

00:59:22.340 Where does it flip over from, like, they are just that cunty to they are a bad person?

00:59:27.020 When they start- when they start judging us for not doing it, that's the-

00:59:30.920 Right.

00:59:31.180 If you just want to get it and shut the fuck up, like, I'm good with you, but, like, almost

00:59:35.160 no one does that.

00:59:35.980 No, well, yeah, your question was, does any- do, like, do any of these people deserve it?

00:59:39.580 And I think that, yes, they do if they were, like, actually forcing it upon people.

00:59:44.080 I'd say the majority of people that I know that got vaxxed to this- are actually a lot of them

00:59:48.120 are now at the point where they're like, yeah, it seems it wasn't everything it was

00:59:50.920 hawked up to be, and a lot of them feel kind of, like, fucked over and borderline betrayed.

00:59:54.880 Maybe it's just the people I rock with, but a lot of them are like, yeah, I wanted to

00:59:58.400 build travel or I needed it for my job, and, like, yeah, I'm, like, kind of, like, what

01:00:03.060 the fuck?

01:00:03.540 I'm seeing shit, like, this Damar thing, and I'm kind of making me wonder, like-

01:00:06.680 Dude, if you drop, like, Damar on IRL, I'm gonna fucking-

01:00:09.380 Dude, fuck yeah, let's do it.

01:00:10.900 Interesting story.

01:00:11.660 So Christmas morning, we had my wife's in-laws over, her stepmom and the mom's grandma, and

01:00:18.280 they're, like, big Democrats, and she wanted to talk about the backseat.

01:00:21.740 Like, something was happening with her family in Brooklyn, and she wanted to say, like, how,

01:00:25.360 oh, well, he wasn't boosted, so therefore-

01:00:28.200 And I just looked at her and I said, this shit doesn't work, and it never will work, it

01:00:33.140 never has worked, we have the data to prove it.

01:00:35.360 And she started to argue, well, actually, but, and I was like, no, like, I'm not even

01:00:42.040 going to entertain the argument, I won't elaborate, it does not work, and the funny part is, a

01:00:48.040 week later, she had COVID, and she probably gave it to us that day, too, fucking bitch,

01:00:52.400 but whatever.

01:00:54.600 It is, it's one of, like, the craziest, like, looking back on it now, because it's like,

01:01:00.560 it's like, again, we talked about this when it first rolled out, it was like, oh, this

01:01:04.100 is just, like, back in, like, you know, how did Hitler take over an entire country, like,

01:01:08.220 he just, like, propagandized everybody.

01:01:10.380 I mean, it used to do most of the work for him.

01:01:12.400 I know.

01:01:14.300 But, like, yeah, it's basically the same now.

01:01:17.140 Hey, hey, hey, he had some good points.

01:01:19.940 But it's like, you look at it, and you're like, they just fucking lied to millions of

01:01:23.300 people, and then they just believed him, and they went along with it, and now, like,

01:01:26.620 dude, we did it with the moon landing, it's so fucking, it's-

01:01:29.400 Oh, yeah, now we can really get into some good stuff here.

01:01:32.500 The Nazis did that, too, by the way.

01:01:34.600 Yeah, they have a secret moon base on the dark side, so.

01:01:37.360 I actually believe the Nazis went there, because they were achieving things.

01:01:42.060 I've recently gone on, getting on to the Hitler actually moved to Argentina thing, like, that

01:01:47.380 he didn't kill himself.

01:01:48.420 That actually, that came up, I think, this week in Twitter.

01:01:51.920 Someone was putting up.

01:01:52.260 Tons of Nazis did.

01:01:53.360 Whether or not Hitler did, I don't think so.

01:01:54.740 I saw a thing, it was basically-

01:01:56.000 The Nazis didn't lose, they just changed forms.

01:01:58.120 Yeah, they just, they just, I mean, they just transitioned.

01:02:00.840 You know what would be based if the Nazis turned into Jews, and then they took over

01:02:03.620 the media?

01:02:05.600 Hey, Robbie, did you know, a couple episodes ago, Dave was talking about a guy on Twitter

01:02:11.140 that said, basically, that we should lie to the people.

01:02:15.120 Like, we should-

01:02:16.120 Who was this person?

01:02:19.080 We should propagandize the people with our own lies to counteract their lies.

01:02:23.640 That was my tweet that Dave was responding to.

01:02:26.040 He didn't say my name, but he, what I basically said was, it fits my narrative, so fuck you,

01:02:32.020 because they're lying about everything, and nobody remembers anything except for the headline,

01:02:37.160 and that's it.

01:02:37.740 So I said, you know what, I figured, like, let's, I'm just gonna run with it.

01:02:41.020 I know you're against it, but I don't really care.

01:02:43.080 I'm just a, if somebody, if somebody calls down-

01:02:45.260 I'm just gonna let you know.

01:02:46.440 Yeah, what's his name, the other black guy, it's the old black guy from the Nets.

01:02:49.800 Oh, yeah, Kevin Durant had a torn MCL.

01:02:51.660 Kevin Durant.

01:02:52.680 He tore his MCL, and I said, was he vaccinated?

01:02:56.560 This is where I'm at now.

01:03:00.080 Lady Gaga has a sore throat tonight, she can't perform.

01:03:03.920 Was she vaccinated?

01:03:06.060 I feel like that's fair.

01:03:07.100 Anything that happens, you broke your arm.

01:03:08.580 Was he vaccinated?

01:03:10.200 They did it to us, man.

01:03:12.100 The whole gunshot killer person?

01:03:14.660 Yeah.

01:03:15.100 That's very funny to me, so I support it.

01:03:17.140 I think what Dave was referring to is not that, but that's funny, so have fun with it.

01:03:22.160 Oh, no, he was.

01:03:22.880 I brought it up, and he actually liked it.

01:03:24.800 He said yes.

01:03:25.800 Dude, I wanted to see, like, you remember how Cole originally got nuked for that one guy

01:03:30.420 who, like, died in, like, the hockey game, and he said, walk it off?

01:03:33.040 Yeah, walk it off.

01:03:33.360 And that's why he got, not nuked, he got docked for that.

01:03:35.620 He lost my job.

01:03:36.680 But, like, you just see, like, shit like that, just be like, was he vaccinated?

01:03:41.880 Oh, yeah.

01:03:42.360 I'm down.

01:03:43.080 Well, I had to add you that when DeMar Hanlon went down, immediately, I was like, hey, just walk it

01:03:47.080 off, man.

01:03:48.020 And, like, it was immediately.

01:03:49.740 I couldn't help myself.

01:03:50.740 Dude, you got some shit for that.

01:03:51.980 It didn't go as quite as viral as the other one.

01:03:53.840 I was kind of hoping it would.

01:03:54.640 I posted that vax be wildin' or something like that.

01:03:57.640 Yeah, I want, immediately, anytime any athlete dies, I am ready to go out and do this, were

01:04:04.020 they vaccinated, and to walk it off as well.

01:04:06.200 Was Kobe Bryant vaccinated?

01:04:08.560 We'll never know.

01:04:08.860 That's a fair question.

01:04:10.500 Yeah, I know.

01:04:11.000 Dude, I like this one better right here than he put, because we were just talking about

01:04:15.040 this a minute ago.

01:04:17.900 Because there is something, like, the Jews got really fucked over, and then they came

01:04:20.620 back as this, like, economic powerhouse.

01:04:22.340 But then the Nazis kind of, like, transformed and infiltrated, like, NASA and our government.

01:04:27.000 So, like, I don't know.

01:04:28.660 That's a legitimate question.

01:04:30.200 Like, who, if you're gonna generalize these two groups, and by Jews, I guess, mean more

01:04:34.520 like, Zionists, I guess.

01:04:35.840 Well, we have a game.

01:04:37.360 What do you want?

01:04:38.180 We have the game, what is it, Zion or Zyklon, right?

01:04:40.860 Where you have to determine, is it a Jew, or is it a Nazi, or a Zionist Jew saying this

01:04:46.080 You know it's called Kiker Reich.

01:04:48.160 Kiker Reich, my bad.

01:04:48.900 Yeah, we had to go with the other one, because Spike Cohen was a pussy.

01:04:51.060 That's a much better name.

01:04:53.120 Kiker Reich.

01:04:54.300 Yeah, sorry.

01:04:55.200 Spike Cohen did not like Kiker Reich.

01:04:57.140 That did not flaw.

01:04:58.200 But he didn't like the friendly version.

01:05:00.460 He wouldn't do it.

01:05:01.540 No, but it was like...

01:05:02.520 I remember we had split bailed that episode, and I was like,

01:05:04.440 It was Kiker Reich with Spike.

01:05:06.360 It had such a ring to it.

01:05:08.820 It's weird, too, because it's so obviously funny.

01:05:12.740 So you're saying he was a real kike about it.

01:05:16.440 Yes.

01:05:17.420 You can say it.

01:05:18.220 We can.

01:05:19.520 Well, Spike's actually trying to maybe run for office and be in that world.

01:05:24.040 Don't go on an offensive comedy show.

01:05:25.640 Yeah, I was about to say, he probably made the mistake of even just coming on this podcast.

01:05:30.040 Yeah, we're gonna exploit this opportunity.

01:05:32.280 It's your fault for walking into it.

01:05:35.220 But I do like that they just bounce back better is basically just build back better.

01:05:40.200 They're just doing it all over again.

01:05:41.960 And they're just like wanting to do it.

01:05:43.180 They were like, we killed off all those people.

01:05:44.120 Oh, my God.

01:05:44.220 Can you imagine the inspirational speeches after I was just like, hey, guys, I know we're down.

01:05:48.600 We're out right now.

01:05:49.900 Let's build back better.

01:05:52.480 All right?

01:05:53.000 We're gonna work together.

01:05:54.360 Group together.

01:05:55.100 Family.

01:05:55.460 That's what I was getting at with the Kiker Wright thing.

01:06:01.540 I don't think it's which one's better.

01:06:04.120 It almost seems like they're the same thing.

01:06:06.620 Like they're intermingled.

01:06:07.920 Because we couldn't.

01:06:08.840 Like I watched the episode.

01:06:09.880 They were the real Nazis.

01:06:13.700 Yeah.

01:06:13.960 Well, right now.

01:06:15.060 Right here.

01:06:16.340 This horseshoe.

01:06:16.980 Yeah.

01:06:17.100 They've met in the middle.

01:06:18.540 Intersected.

01:06:19.140 Yamaka theory.

01:06:19.940 It's just a circle.

01:06:20.540 They met in the middle and then it turned into a swastika.

01:06:22.380 Oh, look, look, man.

01:06:23.620 You know, Zelensky has the Azov Battalion.

01:06:27.200 I mean, it's weird.

01:06:28.260 Yeah.

01:06:29.180 Yeah.

01:06:29.900 Yeah.

01:06:30.480 Dude.

01:06:30.700 And you look into the people who funded a lot of the Nazi shit.

01:06:33.400 Jews.

01:06:35.840 I mean, I don't know.

01:06:36.920 I mean, there is something interesting there, obviously, for real.

01:06:39.340 But it is weird how this shit happens.

01:06:41.740 You know, fucking wooden doors.

01:06:43.220 Like, come on.

01:06:45.680 Just kidding.

01:06:47.860 I hope Robbie knows about wooden doors.

01:06:49.580 Do you know about wooden doors?

01:06:50.580 He's got it.

01:06:51.240 There's no way he's never heard that.

01:06:52.220 I would assume that you're just talking what was on the trains.

01:06:54.240 But I don't know.

01:06:55.240 Oh, you don't know.

01:06:55.940 No, he doesn't know.

01:06:57.600 How could you be as a Jew in an offensive comedy scene in fucking New England and not know

01:07:02.660 the wooden doors reference?

01:07:04.320 It's just a joke.

01:07:04.920 For the sake of our channel, you might not want to.

01:07:07.080 Yeah, maybe not.

01:07:08.480 What are you going to deny me education?

01:07:11.400 It's a Holocaust revision thing.

01:07:13.320 A lot of people bring it up that there were wooden doors at the gas chambers.

01:07:15.900 They're like, hey, if you were doing gas chambers, why would you use wood, a porous material that

01:07:19.900 clearly, like, you know, you'd want to use something, like, not like wood.

01:07:22.900 That doesn't make sense.

01:07:23.680 It's the same, like, argument as, like, why did they have, like, pools there?

01:07:27.600 Like, why were there recreational facilities in these, like, internment camps if they weren't,

01:07:31.900 like, just not that bad?

01:07:35.460 Basically, wooden doors is a Holocaust revisionism dog.

01:07:38.240 Well, they were really good until they were really bad, probably, maybe.

01:07:41.540 I don't know.

01:07:41.740 I mean, given the efficiency that the Germans functioned with, it does force you to ask some

01:07:46.660 questions.

01:07:47.140 Let's move the fuck on.

01:07:49.940 It's like, they didn't put wooden doors on the Mercedes back then, but they're putting

01:07:52.620 it on the gas chambers?

01:07:53.280 I don't understand this.

01:07:53.960 This is bullshit.

01:07:56.720 Wooden doors and no blue stains, man.

01:07:59.020 It's very questionable.

01:07:59.940 I don't know what that means, and we're going to keep moving on.

01:08:02.240 Yeah, we got to move back then.

01:08:03.780 We're going to lose another channel.

01:08:05.960 Is that true that there were wooden doors on the gas chambers?

01:08:09.640 I don't know, but it's funny.

01:08:13.000 I think there have been...

01:08:13.600 You go with what's funny.

01:08:15.180 There's pictures out there that look like they're wooden.

01:08:18.340 I think that's where it came from.

01:08:21.040 And then there's also...

01:08:22.040 No matter how much I protest, we are not to move on.

01:08:25.020 But this is my point.

01:08:26.120 This is my point, Robbie.

01:08:26.800 Robbie's just hanging at us.

01:08:27.420 He's like, I'm the Jew, and I'm going to get these guys kicked off.

01:08:31.080 This is my point with the DeMar Hamlet.

01:08:32.300 I'm trying to get some education.

01:08:34.040 That would be the Jewiest thing to do.

01:08:35.980 Robbie, we can say...

01:08:37.040 Robbie, wait, wait, wait, wait.

01:08:38.240 No, no, no.

01:08:38.520 We have a Holocaust revision episode.

01:08:39.840 We can literally get plugged to him.

01:08:41.560 That he can go watch.

01:08:42.580 It's on Honesty only.

01:08:43.500 You don't plug it.

01:08:44.400 Yeah, it's on Honesty only.

01:08:45.860 If you're genuinely concerned, obviously, keep in mind, it's a comedy show.

01:08:49.320 Everything was a joke.

01:08:50.300 It's not educational.

01:08:51.020 We made it all up.

01:08:52.420 It's all fake.

01:08:53.360 Completely serious.

01:08:54.380 They're cool.

01:08:54.880 But we got Ryan Dawson.

01:08:56.440 I think in Germany, it's illegal to even make up stuff.

01:08:59.020 So here's the thing, Robbie.

01:09:00.320 Nobody knows if they were wooden doors or not.

01:09:02.380 But it's fucking funny.

01:09:03.620 And nobody knows if DeMar Hamlet had that whatever he had because of the vaccine.

01:09:08.580 But it's funny.

01:09:09.640 And I can say it.

01:09:11.220 And I can also demonize the thing that I hate.

01:09:13.960 It's wrong.

01:09:14.680 It's immoral.

01:09:15.440 Yes, I know.

01:09:16.240 Right.

01:09:17.500 No, the vaccine.

01:09:18.520 No, in this case, it's black.

01:09:19.560 Oh, okay.

01:09:20.320 I didn't know what dot you were connecting there.

01:09:23.140 No, I can easily paint the thing that I hate with comedy.

01:09:28.600 Sure, it's dishonest.

01:09:29.580 I think that's different than what Dave was criticizing.

01:09:33.380 Can you pull up your actual tweet that you think inspired Dick?

01:09:36.520 I'll pull it up.

01:09:38.200 We have a pull-up guy.

01:09:39.260 That's great.

01:09:39.780 Yeah, a little Dickie.

01:09:40.180 Yeah, pull it up, Dickie.

01:09:41.220 Go hunt through Top's Twitter that he posts like a bajillion times a day and get back to

01:09:46.080 us for the next minute, okay?

01:09:47.660 You can search for something with Top Lobster and Comic Dave Smith.

01:09:50.800 All right.

01:09:51.080 While he's pulling that up, we're going to do plugs.

01:09:52.800 This is Clint Russell, host of Liberty Lockdown.

01:09:54.840 No, play the music.

01:09:56.000 We do have music.

01:09:57.100 Oh, goddammit.

01:09:57.840 He's dead.

01:09:58.800 Okay.

01:09:59.500 Clint Russell, host of Liberty Lockdown.

01:10:01.180 Make sure you subscribe with Ron.

01:10:02.900 You can rumble, because I am banished to rumble for this fucking week.

01:10:07.800 Tomorrow's Viva Before I do not miss it.

01:10:09.700 That's it.

01:10:10.140 We'll be on Timcast, me and Top, and then the whole fucking squad in the next month.

01:10:13.880 Check it out.

01:10:14.740 All right.

01:10:15.200 I have the No Way Jose show.

01:10:17.460 I'm going to hit 12,000, by the way.

01:10:19.020 Give me a little limit.

01:10:20.160 All right.

01:10:20.440 I'm trying to hit 2,000.

01:10:21.660 That'd be nice.

01:10:22.240 Tell me out, guys.

01:10:23.860 I got fucking – I just had Shane Cashman on last night.

01:10:27.460 It was a fucking absolute banger.

01:10:29.040 Go check that out.

01:10:29.980 It was fucking – it was so good that it got me on fucking Timcast.

01:10:32.240 So I'll be on Timcast on February 15th as well.

01:10:34.500 I highly suggest you go check that episode out.

01:10:36.220 It was great.

01:10:36.800 We had a fun time.

01:10:38.560 Shane's a really cool guy.

01:10:39.780 I highly suggest you go check out his work.

01:10:41.560 But, yeah, Top Lobster.

01:10:42.180 By the way, I had the same amount of subscribers on YouTube when I was on the first time.

01:10:45.120 So you're a year-and-a-half back.

01:10:47.000 I'm on your path.

01:10:47.820 Nice.

01:10:48.660 Yeah.

01:10:49.020 You can catch me at Top Lobster.com.

01:10:51.020 Top Lobster with an A everywhere else.

01:10:52.600 Go to PodcastMerch.com and buy some cool stuff from Gas Digital Podcast and shit like that.

01:10:57.900 Why am I the only one dancing?

01:10:58.920 What the fuck?

01:11:00.020 Bullshit.

01:11:00.780 Robbie, go ahead, man.

01:11:02.040 This music's dope.

01:11:03.220 Hell, yeah.

01:11:03.860 Run Your Mouth Podcast.

01:11:05.040 I'm back to a couple days a week.

01:11:06.460 And then I just put out another end-of-year recap, which has great jokes all about COVID,

01:11:12.320 transgender stuff, misinformation in the news, recognizing bad Jews.

01:11:17.420 I covered all the biggest issues of the last year, so go check that out.

01:11:20.680 We've got about a half hour of a new comedy.

01:11:22.740 You guys will love it.

01:11:23.660 The problem isn't the Jews.

01:11:24.840 It's the bad Jews.

01:11:25.800 Let's be clear about that.

01:11:27.140 That's not all Jews.

01:11:27.920 It's just the bad Jews.

01:11:29.060 Exactly.

01:11:29.820 Real quick, Robbie, I know you have two channels.

01:11:33.400 You have Robbie the Fire, then you have Run Your Mouth.

01:11:34.780 Which one are you checking for comments whenever you're in the live show?

01:11:39.040 I think anywhere that you're posting comments should be coming up.

01:11:43.260 Okay.

01:11:43.940 Yeah, yeah.

01:11:44.480 I think they all come in.

01:11:45.320 I haven't been on the Run Your Mouth channel for a while because it had two strikes, and

01:11:49.380 I wanted to make sure that I was going to be able to post this end-of-year thing.

01:11:52.840 But essentially, my content's not easy to find.

01:11:55.940 That's not my fault.

01:11:56.700 It's the fucking algorithm.

01:11:58.600 But if you're not seeing content on one of the channels, go to the other.

01:12:02.380 It means that there is a ban.

01:12:03.480 Dude, plugs is not my favorite part.

01:12:05.780 Yeah.

01:12:07.640 Let me fat Dave on Twitter.

01:12:09.520 Maybe on Tenka soon.

01:12:10.740 But there's not really anything.

01:12:11.740 Just follow me on Twitter.

01:12:12.940 That's it.

01:12:13.820 And then maybe at some point, I'll bring back a sports podcast.

01:12:18.020 And then, of course, Tower Gang on Patreon.

01:12:21.900 I think we'll talk about it more.

01:12:23.320 But yeah, that's where the mailbag that we did earlier, that's where you can submit your

01:12:27.460 questions there, and we will get to them whenever we do, if they're funny enough.

01:12:31.820 So shout out to David Brady, our top patron.

01:12:34.860 Great for Cole's baby.

01:12:37.560 Yeah.

01:12:37.840 That's right.

01:12:38.780 I am unironically hoping it turns out.

01:12:42.480 That's right.

01:12:43.220 I'm guessing that David Brady is actually at the micropenis subscriber level.

01:12:47.460 But subscribe to our Patreon, patreon.com slash Tower Gang Pod.

01:12:51.840 We are Tower Gang Pod everywhere.

01:12:53.420 I am at Tower Gang Toad on Twitter, and I just got Anarcho Toad back on Twitter, and I'm

01:12:59.960 on a seven-day ban now.

01:13:02.500 So I will have my account back at some point.

01:13:05.660 Congrats, man.

01:13:05.760 I'll probably change it over to Tower Gang Toad.

01:13:08.660 That's right.

01:13:09.160 All you have to do is appeal 300 times.

01:13:11.840 All right.

01:13:12.160 I thought this was gay initially, but I love it.

01:13:14.460 So fuck him.

01:13:14.860 Yeah, Dickie, cut the music and pull up my tweet.

01:13:17.120 I sent it in Twitter.

01:13:18.000 Do it now.

01:13:18.020 Is this background music for the whole episode now?

01:13:19.980 No.

01:13:20.320 No.

01:13:21.200 It would drive me crazy.

01:13:24.200 I would probably kill myself.

01:13:26.680 I'd rather hear about working the doors.

01:13:29.780 Play the music.

01:13:30.700 I want to.

01:13:31.060 You heard about the blue stains that should be left if you actually use that?

01:13:34.280 All right.

01:13:34.880 Come on.

01:13:35.380 Come on.

01:13:35.700 Come on.

01:13:37.220 You're pulling me in.

01:13:38.580 You're getting my autism going.

01:13:40.140 I'm like, dude, I like this conversation.

01:13:41.620 I like my YouTube channel, too.

01:13:43.360 Is it weird that when somebody says blue stains, I actually think of Monica Lewinsky's

01:13:47.240 dress first?

01:13:48.640 You got to scroll up.

01:13:49.520 You got to scroll up to know what he's saying about.

01:13:51.660 Do you think Bill Clinton comes blue?

01:13:54.900 No.

01:13:55.440 The dress.

01:13:56.380 No.

01:13:56.840 Don't ask.

01:13:58.220 Scroll up to the original, please.

01:14:00.160 What the fuck?

01:14:01.460 All right.

01:14:01.820 This is a long one.

01:14:04.760 Dave says, I think a lot of us are talking about it.

01:14:07.160 The thing that makes this one tricky is it's impossible to know in every individual situation.

01:14:11.600 I don't like jumping to conclusions that I'm unsure of.

01:14:14.260 It's easier to discuss studies that show clear negative health outcomes.

01:14:19.100 That's a very pragmatic answer and full of shit.

01:14:21.420 David Smith.

01:14:22.380 Top Losser responds with, it fits my narrative that the vax is poison, so I'll use it the

01:14:27.440 same way they used the very fine people hoax because it fit their narrative.

01:14:31.180 In the end, no one remembers the truth.

01:14:33.160 Only the headline, fuck these people.

01:14:35.120 So, if I disagree with him, the big dick energy gets me.

01:14:42.460 So, I think, Top, what you're saying now is not, in my opinion, consistent with the

01:14:48.600 viewpoint that's in this tweet.

01:14:50.600 What you're saying here is, hey, I'm being funny and I think being funny is persuasive

01:14:55.000 and I agree with you.

01:14:56.040 Reality is whatever Top wants it to be.

01:14:57.620 The thing is, you don't know if I'm joking in this tweet or not.

01:15:01.260 No, that tweet is more saying, like, even if I'm, being funny is different than representing

01:15:07.500 something as being truthful.

01:15:09.280 The tweet is basically saying, even if I know what I'm saying is not truthful, if it's in

01:15:13.940 line with my viewpoint, I'll do that because that's what they do.

01:15:17.460 And so, our argument was, it's disingenuous.

01:15:20.640 Let's not play a disingenuous game because then we're stooping to their level and we can

01:15:24.680 actually, and also, we have the truth on our side, but why do we need to do that?

01:15:27.320 There's no reason to do it.

01:15:28.640 The loophole, though, is to fit with Top.

01:15:31.400 The loophole is to always be in a position where people don't know if you're joking.

01:15:35.320 There you go.

01:15:37.320 I'm just saying, what Top's saying now is, hey, it's just funny every single time and

01:15:42.020 it points out the fact that there's a possibility of vaccine injury.

01:15:44.780 So, I agree with you.

01:15:45.360 That's both persuasive and funny.

01:15:47.200 To me, though, that's not, like, the viewpoint of the tweet and that's not what Dave was

01:15:51.700 responding to.

01:15:51.900 Not, because Top, his morality moves with the wind, however he's feeling.

01:15:56.760 But what if Top being really...

01:15:59.200 I'm trying to win.

01:16:00.780 I'm trying to...

01:16:01.400 What if Top using very aggressive language like this is more persuasive than the truth?

01:16:07.160 Dave responds with, I get your point, but I don't want to be like those people.

01:16:10.700 If you become what you hate in order to win, you've already lost.

01:16:13.900 Pretty Buddhist.

01:16:14.720 And Top responds with, I think attacking these people from several angles is a good approach.

01:16:19.180 Yeah, I agree with that.

01:16:19.980 Yeah, so I do think, again, you know, Dave didn't tell me to stop doing it, so I'm going

01:16:25.100 to get your point.

01:16:26.420 This is usually the case.

01:16:27.720 Dave is right, but I'm going to side with Top.

01:16:29.400 Dave knows better than to tell Top to do something.

01:16:32.340 Oh, yeah.

01:16:33.000 That'd be really bad.

01:16:34.100 Wait, what was...

01:16:34.780 This was originally on my tweet, I think.

01:16:36.480 I don't even remember what I tweeted.

01:16:37.600 Yeah, you talked about the Hamlin thing being censored on YouTube.

01:16:41.040 I think also, firstly, when it comes to funny...

01:16:43.300 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:16:44.140 Dave is the funniest when he wants to be funny.

01:16:47.100 When in these kind of discourses, I think he's more speaking to what should be the approach

01:16:52.000 of, like, libertarians in general.

01:16:54.620 Yes.

01:16:54.800 So, like, you're talking about, hey, what should I do as an individual?

01:16:57.540 I don't think Dave's going to critique or care.

01:16:59.880 I think he's more engaging in this discussion as if you're putting forward, here's how the

01:17:04.660 entire libertarian party should behave, and that's when...

01:17:08.220 And I shouldn't be speaking for Dave, but this would just be my understanding is he's

01:17:13.320 now kind of looking at this from, hey, is that a good strategy that we should all be

01:17:17.140 taking?

01:17:17.620 And no, and here's why.

01:17:19.240 But he's talking about it from a party perspective, not from you as an individual.

01:17:24.580 Like, he's looking at it like you've just put forward.

01:17:26.480 This should be the strategy of us.

01:17:29.440 So, here's the difference.

01:17:32.680 I just want to put this out there.

01:17:33.900 Top is being real ass, and Dave is being honest.

01:17:37.440 So, that's two different things.

01:17:39.440 Right.

01:17:39.960 And they're both correct.

01:17:41.220 Makes sense because Top is our Louis J. Gomez.

01:17:43.900 That's right.

01:17:44.520 A couple of years ago, I got yelled at by Dave and Scott Horton on Josh Smith's show

01:17:49.520 because I said something like, they were like, well, you know, maybe Hillary Clinton wasn't

01:17:54.520 eating babies on Epstein's Island.

01:17:55.980 And I said, well, Dave, if people are saying that, why should we stop them from saying

01:18:02.100 that?

01:18:02.720 And Scott Horton was like, listen, you can't do that.

01:18:05.300 We have to be honest.

01:18:06.040 And I was like, fuck that.

01:18:07.000 If they're going to say this, I'm just going to say, okay, and laugh about it.

01:18:10.640 And I might make some memes.

01:18:11.540 I agree with you with that.

01:18:12.860 I hope they don't listen to Run Your Mouth because I go full-scale nonsense in just about

01:18:17.780 every episode.

01:18:19.020 So, that's true.

01:18:19.660 You said Dave was operating from the perspective of what the party or the movement should do.

01:18:25.760 Can we at least admit it'd be pretty fucking awesome if somehow we could get the whole

01:18:29.440 party or movement to just get on with Top's blueprint?

01:18:32.180 That would be like, I don't know, maybe it wouldn't be as good, but it'd be fucking pretty

01:18:35.500 epic.

01:18:35.760 If we follow that smoke show chick who's like hardcore anti-vax, I think it makes sense.

01:18:42.720 Oh, yeah.

01:18:43.760 Yeah, Scott.

01:18:44.700 Yeah, that's true.

01:18:45.480 Does anyone know what Scott got banned for?

01:18:47.860 He threatened.

01:18:48.420 He told someone to kill themselves.

01:18:49.980 He told Jordan Peterson to.

01:18:51.980 He told Jordan Peterson to jump off a bridge, I believe.

01:18:54.700 I want to say, I love Scott, but this is a recurring thing with him.

01:18:58.660 It's like, it's based, but it's like, if you have a large account and you're trying

01:19:01.280 to keep it, it's fucking retarded.

01:19:03.560 Like, I don't know.

01:19:04.700 Don't get me wrong.

01:19:05.200 I think you actually should be able to tell people to kill yourself on Twitter and keep

01:19:07.380 your account.

01:19:08.040 But like, let's be real.

01:19:09.000 I think, like, I don't know if that's where the guardrails are.

01:19:13.080 It's pretty reasonable, I guess.

01:19:15.500 The problem with Scott, though, is that some fucking one of these left libertarians pulled

01:19:20.600 up at every instance that he said it, and it was like maybe five, six times.

01:19:24.700 From 2014 to now.

01:19:26.460 And I was like, oh, so he's just gotten away with it.

01:19:28.540 Yeah.

01:19:28.720 And they probably went back and reported him.

01:19:30.820 People like us were like, dude, delete it, you retard.

01:19:33.240 Yeah.

01:19:33.580 That is true.

01:19:34.560 That is true.

01:19:35.120 But we police each other to make sure that we keep our account.

01:19:39.140 I love the beginning of that second paragraph.

01:19:41.100 I mean, I didn't really say go kill yourself.

01:19:43.780 Or like, go jump into a lake.

01:19:46.880 Yeah.

01:19:47.580 That's the best answer.

01:19:49.500 Just like.

01:19:50.720 Imagine Jordan Peterson in his, like, lush mansion.

01:19:53.980 Like, these goddamn internet trolls.

01:19:57.640 In our group chat, I forward you guys some irritating reply to me every single day, and

01:20:03.940 I say, I wish this guy would.

01:20:05.980 That's what I do every single day.

01:20:07.640 But, like, Scott needs that.

01:20:09.180 He needs his own group chat so that he can vent.

01:20:11.320 Yeah.

01:20:11.660 He does.

01:20:12.540 Yeah.

01:20:13.080 He needs friends.

01:20:14.220 That's what he needs.

01:20:14.560 Yeah.

01:20:15.900 Free Scott Horton.

01:20:16.860 Bring him back.

01:20:18.060 Friends that have time for him.

01:20:19.240 Not people like Dave Smith, you know?

01:20:20.560 That's the worst part of it, because what he's doing, what he's doing with his Twitter is

01:20:25.080 so important to, like, to the movement, the libertarian movement, the anti-war movement.

01:20:30.160 And to just tell Jordan Peterson something like this, it's like, come on, dude.

01:20:33.540 Like, I have messaged him myself the last time he told somebody to kill themselves, and

01:20:37.320 I was like, Scott, take this down.

01:20:38.940 And he's like, you think so?

01:20:40.140 And I was like, yes.

01:20:41.200 Yeah.

01:20:41.380 And he deleted it.

01:20:41.960 That was in September.

01:20:43.180 What kind of concept of the guardrails do you have here?

01:20:47.340 I'm doing it tonight.

01:20:48.860 Fuck all y'all.

01:20:49.840 I'm with Scott.

01:20:50.880 In Scott's defense, he's a huge Bill Hicks fan.

01:20:53.940 Like, a huge Bill Hicks fan.

01:20:55.220 Like, I've hung out with Scott late at night, and he'll just do Bill Hicks for me.

01:20:58.760 I've been, like, high in a car, and he'll just fucking do an album of Bill Hicks, and

01:21:01.720 I'll be like, I don't know why this isn't a show where Scott just does Bill Hicks.

01:21:05.400 I want to be clear.

01:21:06.200 I love Scott.

01:21:06.780 I've met him in person.

01:21:07.420 He's a great guy.

01:21:08.040 But, like, let's be real.

01:21:08.760 The Twitter thing's retarded.

01:21:09.480 But go on.

01:21:09.940 No, so I can fully understand why, in Scott's mind, he's saying that as a joke, because

01:21:16.620 that's very Bill Hicks where, like, you're marketing?

01:21:19.300 Go kill yourself.

01:21:20.200 Go kill yourself.

01:21:21.220 Seriously.

01:21:21.860 No, Robbie.

01:21:22.620 Try yourself to a car and go kill yourself.

01:21:24.100 If he was, like, a 2K account, I'd be like, cool, whatever.

01:21:26.800 You lose your car.

01:21:27.120 I literally, I agree with him.

01:21:29.140 Like, I'm not, like, no bullshit.

01:21:30.700 Like, I'm like, maybe he should do it.

01:21:32.160 Maybe Jordan Peterson should actually do this.

01:21:34.820 But you just can't say it on Twitter, Scott.

01:21:37.340 That's it.

01:21:37.620 Right.

01:21:37.940 You infer it.

01:21:39.000 You just tell him to continue doing your opiates, Jordan Peterson.

01:21:42.020 Tell him to move to Canada.

01:21:43.480 Well, he is in Canada.

01:21:45.180 What was Scott Horton taking issue with Jordan Peterson for?

01:21:51.920 I don't know.

01:21:52.540 I think it was something more related, probably.

01:21:56.360 Don't know.

01:21:56.700 Don't care.

01:21:57.120 Bored.

01:21:57.400 Moving on.

01:21:58.800 I don't know.

01:21:59.380 Jordan has been pro-censorship recently.

01:22:01.600 Could have been related to that.

01:22:02.740 That is one of the weirdest things, though, about the whole, like, I hate trolls and anonymous

01:22:07.100 people on the line.

01:22:08.400 It's like, okay, welcome to the area.

01:22:09.640 Very, very daily wire of him.

01:22:13.820 Someone got to him.

01:22:15.280 Someone got to him.

01:22:16.160 Yeah, it's weird.

01:22:17.220 Like, he got benzoed out, went to the hospital, came out a completely different person.

01:22:21.260 It's very strange.

01:22:22.420 It might not even be him.

01:22:23.400 It might be a clone.

01:22:24.400 Didn't we have one more point?

01:22:25.680 This is why you don't do Kratom.

01:22:27.100 We did have another video.

01:22:29.580 We did have some video that I didn't actually see yet that involved, like, a white woman

01:22:34.040 versus a cop or something.

01:22:35.740 Yeah, this is dope.

01:22:36.980 All right.

01:22:37.620 This is who's most justified.

01:22:39.000 This is only 11 seconds, but I think we all know who's justified.

01:22:41.460 This happened when...

01:22:42.740 Yeah, not the white woman.

01:22:46.180 Oh!

01:22:46.840 Whoa!

01:22:47.900 That's...

01:22:48.460 That's on the cop.

01:22:50.660 She moved very quickly.

01:22:52.680 There you go.

01:22:53.480 That's a dude.

01:22:57.540 Oh, shit.

01:22:57.880 That is a dude.

01:22:58.680 No, it is not.

01:22:59.480 Oh, it's a guy?

01:23:00.300 It's a dude with a top knot.

01:23:01.900 Yo, I'm 100% with the cop.

01:23:03.960 He has a beard.

01:23:05.520 No, that cop...

01:23:06.500 Oh, that's a mask.

01:23:07.800 That's a mask.

01:23:08.260 Oh, come on.

01:23:08.740 He's got a top knot, Robbie.

01:23:10.060 Come on.

01:23:10.360 You're on a comedy show.

01:23:11.360 That's not the funny answer.

01:23:12.520 It was clearly the top knot faggot.

01:23:14.100 That's a dude with a man bun?

01:23:16.360 Not a man bun.

01:23:16.940 It's a top knot.

01:23:18.280 Two pieces of...

01:23:19.080 Oh, just...

01:23:19.940 I mean, the audacity of him to move in a quick fashion.

01:23:22.940 Isn't it...

01:23:23.480 ...near a large black man with a badge?

01:23:26.700 I know, right?

01:23:27.200 What's he racist?

01:23:27.820 This isn't even about cops.

01:23:29.100 You just can't move quickly around black people.

01:23:31.160 This is...

01:23:31.500 Correct.

01:23:32.500 This is racial survivalism 101.

01:23:33.640 And a hungry one at that.

01:23:34.800 Yeah.

01:23:35.980 Isn't it surprising that that...

01:23:37.880 Because that cop was a very big man.

01:23:40.540 Yeah.

01:23:40.700 And he's throwing a full hook, moving his body weight on a guy that's seated.

01:23:45.160 He lands it twice and doesn't even, like, knock the guy...

01:23:49.040 I was...

01:23:49.740 That's weird.

01:23:50.860 You're right.

01:23:51.180 Because I was about to say, this is just his audition for power slap.

01:23:55.820 But now that I'm thinking about it, you're right.

01:23:58.020 He doesn't make it into power slap because he couldn't even knock out a fucking skinny

01:24:01.020 ass little dude.

01:24:02.360 I think it's the possibility that the amount of, like, estrogen that's obviously flowing

01:24:06.820 through that guy's body, maybe it strengthens the jaw.

01:24:08.580 I wonder if he just was like, I wonder if I could kill this 90-pound man with one punch.

01:24:13.960 Probably not.

01:24:14.840 See, here's what I think.

01:24:16.560 I think the cop thought that it was a woman.

01:24:18.360 So he's like, I can't hit a woman this hard.

01:24:20.880 Oh, he held back.

01:24:22.180 He held back.

01:24:23.060 You think that was a conversation over the cop going, no, that's my delivery food.

01:24:29.880 That's right.

01:24:30.520 But in any situation, I didn't even need to see the video.

01:24:33.020 If you're saying that it is a large black man who is a cop versus something...

01:24:38.580 guy with a man thought, I guess.

01:24:39.860 You didn't see the video?

01:24:40.640 What the fuck?

01:24:41.280 No, even if you don't see the video, I'm going to side with the cop over a very...

01:24:49.440 You're trying to get a joke out?

01:24:51.160 No, no, no, no.

01:24:52.200 You're getting there.

01:24:53.000 Come on, you can do it.

01:24:54.040 I'm not trying to get a joke out.

01:24:55.420 The guy looks like a Starbucks barista, and I've always wanted to KO one of those motherfuckers.

01:24:59.460 Yeah, exactly.

01:25:00.340 So I'm siding with the cop by default.

01:25:03.480 I bet you right after that, he goes, oh, shit, dog, I didn't order Ziki.

01:25:06.940 This is clearly yours.

01:25:07.700 Do you think he was like, this is the people of color seat, get the fuck out.

01:25:17.300 And then I was like, no, I'm actually one-tenth of a percent of Native American.

01:25:23.060 Had the barista pulled the cop's gun and ended his life, it's kind of cool, right?

01:25:31.200 Oh, yeah.

01:25:31.560 It would be justified the other way.

01:25:33.980 They're justified both.

01:25:35.400 Is it justified to do a skank spit?

01:25:38.400 Yeah, always.

01:25:39.320 We don't believe in IP.

01:25:40.140 That's literally all we do, Robbie.

01:25:42.320 We're doing it.

01:25:43.260 We're doing it at that level, so it's fine.

01:25:44.760 It's a shitty way of doing it.

01:25:45.620 We've been very open about this.

01:25:47.220 We just carbon copied fucking Legion of Skanks a little bit of work.

01:25:50.440 What do you think Liberty Lockdown is, if not a ripoff, a part of the problem?

01:25:53.980 By the way, do you think black people actually beat up white people who are sitting in their seats, even though they were in the back of the bus, so they were like the worst seats?

01:26:02.240 Are they still like, that's my seat, motherfucker.

01:26:04.000 Get out of there.

01:26:05.240 No?

01:26:05.580 It happened to me in high school, so.

01:26:07.280 Yeah, not for that reason.

01:26:08.280 They do it just randomly.

01:26:09.680 Yeah.

01:26:09.920 Not welcome.

01:26:11.440 Unfortunately, Robbie missed this multiple times while he was blackout drunk on the subway, so he was like, he could have been this guy, but he was totally out, so the black guy was like, I mean, or maybe this was what put him out.

01:26:21.600 Maybe this is actually, you weren't drunk enough, you just got absolutely wrecked by a black cop, and then you woke up later, and you were like, oh, I guess I just blacked out from drinking.

01:26:29.960 All right, that was like a toad joke.

01:26:31.340 I'm sorry, bud.

01:26:31.960 God damn it, I'm sorry.

01:26:33.420 That was rough.

01:26:33.800 I loved it.

01:26:34.580 You're usually the all-star here, dog, but you can't win everyone, Cole.

01:26:39.320 Cole, I know you're a big hitter.

01:26:40.920 You really are, but not every game can be yours.

01:26:43.700 That's AIDS.

01:26:46.140 And that is the vaccine, actually.

01:26:48.100 Instead of saying bless you, you say AIDS?

01:26:49.720 That's kind of cool.

01:26:51.100 I like that, yeah.

01:26:52.980 Oh, my God.

01:26:53.980 You got to let it out.

01:26:54.760 You don't want to keep it inside.

01:26:56.940 What else we got?

01:26:58.000 What we got?

01:26:59.180 I was going to ask you guys a question.

01:27:01.720 Oh, yeah.

01:27:02.180 You were building this up, yes.

01:27:03.540 I realized this is going to be horseshit, but lay it on us.

01:27:06.580 It might be.

01:27:07.300 Well, you guys can rip on it.

01:27:08.720 It might be a letdown.

01:27:10.680 Look, I don't even know if this is like a stranger.

01:27:14.100 Those are a collection of two-pound weights that you don't lift.

01:27:16.700 Yes.

01:27:17.680 Yes.

01:27:18.620 I mean, you do like women Pilates workouts.

01:27:21.300 Dude, the max one over there is 12 pounds.

01:27:24.100 No, no.

01:27:24.940 40.

01:27:25.560 40.

01:27:25.920 Robbie, they're in the same exact spot every episode.

01:27:29.180 Pull up every episode and look at them.

01:27:30.940 They haven't fucking moved.

01:27:31.840 It's unacceptable.

01:27:32.620 Why do you have like weights like that?

01:27:35.560 I place them autistically.

01:27:37.520 Dude, no.

01:27:38.360 It doesn't go above 40.

01:27:39.980 Oh, my God.

01:27:40.980 What the fuck?

01:27:41.660 40?

01:27:42.220 Like, okay.

01:27:42.740 Like, I don't know.

01:27:43.380 Did you get something?

01:27:43.820 Let Robbie talk.

01:27:45.160 Let Robbie talk.

01:27:46.740 I see Toad watching like 80 spandex workout videos.

01:27:50.220 Yeah.

01:27:50.740 Yeah.

01:27:51.200 With the two-pound weights.

01:27:52.340 Exactly.

01:27:53.160 No, no, no, no, no.

01:27:53.980 I see him pressing play on that video and then jerking off and not touching those weights.

01:27:58.840 Sometimes.

01:27:59.520 Hey, hey, Robbie.

01:28:01.000 Robbie, I know you probably don't regularly watch the show or watch the show at all, but

01:28:04.320 I'm telling you, go watch the only clip we have on our YouTube channel, and it's Toad's

01:28:09.480 story of jerking off to Cole's three-way with his wife and another chick.

01:28:13.980 And it's the funniest shit you'll ever hear in your life.

01:28:16.440 I'm telling you.

01:28:17.180 You just ruined the punch.

01:28:19.380 What the fuck?

01:28:20.380 Wait, that was a fantasy or Cole?

01:28:22.880 No, it happened.

01:28:24.440 It happened at Tom Woods 2000.

01:28:26.920 Yeah, watch that.

01:28:28.680 Wait.

01:28:28.840 It's like a 20-minute clip.

01:28:30.600 Cole had a threesome?

01:28:31.940 It's like deep belly laugh shit.

01:28:33.900 Like, it's like real stuff.

01:28:35.560 And then most of the other dude is the dad.

01:28:37.180 We figured it out.

01:28:38.020 Yeah, but it's Toad.

01:28:39.060 Toad is the dad.

01:28:39.640 No, Cole pulled the three-way with two chicks.

01:28:43.380 Toad walked up to a drunken stupor and jerked off to it.

01:28:47.060 You had a three-way with...

01:28:49.640 That's a year ago.

01:28:50.720 No, no, Toad was on the outside.

01:28:52.240 It was me and two women.

01:28:53.660 One of my wife.

01:28:54.240 Holy shit, look at us.

01:28:54.920 And then Toad was in the room.

01:28:56.260 I keep everything in a very specific position, man.

01:29:00.580 This is what I do.

01:29:01.820 No.

01:29:01.920 Yeah, I'm very autistic.

01:29:04.060 Now, do you want to ask...

01:29:06.140 Who recruited the third lady?

01:29:07.680 Was that your wife?

01:29:08.920 We were staying in the room and...

01:29:10.860 I knew he'd be so intrigued.

01:29:12.060 We were staying in her room for Tom was 2,000.

01:29:16.420 And so, like...

01:29:17.520 Who was this person that hit you up and said,

01:29:19.260 Hey, married couple, you want to stay with me?

01:29:21.000 No, no, no.

01:29:21.340 That's not really how it happened.

01:29:23.340 I don't...

01:29:23.680 Well, it was...

01:29:24.520 They went back to the room with me first.

01:29:27.080 This story's so nice.

01:29:28.200 We told it twice.

01:29:29.440 Go ahead, guys.

01:29:31.200 But what else...

01:29:31.840 It's worth it.

01:29:32.680 Go for it.

01:29:33.340 Go watch the video.

01:29:33.900 People come after Tim Castor watch.

01:29:36.060 He keeps going back and finding all the...

01:29:38.060 That's episode two.

01:29:40.360 So those weights haven't fucking been touched in two years.

01:29:44.000 No, they absolutely have.

01:29:46.300 I want to...

01:29:46.760 Hold on.

01:29:47.140 I want to finish this up.

01:29:48.100 Because so what happened was we...

01:29:49.820 This lady was like, you can...

01:29:51.280 I have a bedroom with two beds.

01:29:53.440 So if you need to stay somewhere, you can stay in this room with me.

01:29:57.020 And so we're like, cool.

01:29:58.060 And then...

01:29:58.720 This was before the event?

01:30:01.580 Or you went to the event with your wife without having...

01:30:03.360 It was the night before.

01:30:04.900 It was the night before.

01:30:05.660 And you hadn't booked a hotel room yet?

01:30:08.760 They were at a different hotel.

01:30:10.300 Yeah, we were in a different hotel.

01:30:11.440 We were staying over by...

01:30:13.500 I'm sorry so much.

01:30:14.360 And so random lady met you at the event?

01:30:17.560 No, no, no.

01:30:18.200 We knew her.

01:30:18.740 We knew her.

01:30:19.180 We all knew her, yeah.

01:30:20.360 It's a Twitter...

01:30:20.900 She was a Twitter friend and very nice lady.

01:30:23.300 Yeah.

01:30:24.060 Very nice.

01:30:26.000 Very, you know, open, you know, friendly, you know, accepting.

01:30:29.100 All right.

01:30:29.500 Afterwards, you'll tell me who it is.

01:30:30.960 I'm curious.

01:30:31.780 Very, very much.

01:30:32.940 Good for you.

01:30:33.620 Yeah, we'll give you names after.

01:30:34.860 And the whole point was, like, I was mid-stroke, and I look over, and I see Toad jerking off.

01:30:41.800 Oh, Toad, you...

01:30:42.660 How did Toad...

01:30:43.580 Did you guys not forget that he was in the room, because that's what you do?

01:30:46.500 He was asleep.

01:30:47.380 He was very drunk, and he fell asleep.

01:30:49.140 But he woke up mid-stroke.

01:30:51.020 And you guys were...

01:30:52.420 Well, that's on you, because you didn't...

01:30:54.300 Exactly, right?

01:30:55.400 You were so dismissive of him as a person...

01:30:56.420 You can't just start fucking having a three-way to homey.

01:30:57.240 You just decided to have sex in the room while he was still there.

01:31:00.300 You can't be upset at him for jerking off the corner.

01:31:01.500 I was never upset.

01:31:03.180 And then, but the thing was, the entire podcast was, like, on Toad's side, saying Toad is the

01:31:09.180 GigaChad here for, like, being, like, cool enough to be, like, whatever, fuck it.

01:31:13.420 I'm jerking off to, basically, IRR.

01:31:15.600 Pull up the GigaChad picture.

01:31:17.200 Now, wait, I'm curious to know, Cole, does Toad have a nice piece?

01:31:21.480 Like, was, like, did he pull, like, a big hog out there?

01:31:26.140 And you're like, ah, shit, this doesn't make me look good?

01:31:28.760 The only one that saw it was my wife.

01:31:31.000 Okay.

01:31:31.300 And she's...

01:31:32.100 And she's never been the same.

01:31:33.860 Now you can have red hair because of it.

01:31:35.580 Can you try again, Cole?

01:31:37.100 I want her to describe it, if she can.

01:31:39.540 Oh, she might be in bed by now.

01:31:41.500 Okay, your wife is so cool that, one, she was down for a threesome and then also didn't

01:31:48.220 scream like she saw a ghost when Toad was just in the corner jerking off of the room.

01:31:53.760 What's funny is, we all saw it, but none of us said anything.

01:31:57.440 But that's not the end of the story.

01:31:58.720 Keep going.

01:31:59.820 Oh, yeah, well...

01:32:00.760 Just go watch the fucking video, man.

01:32:02.120 Where do you meet your chick?

01:32:03.540 Because she's too hot for you, for starters.

01:32:06.140 And then this on top of it, like, man, you've tracked down a window.

01:32:11.480 She's a winner somehow, yeah.

01:32:12.980 Now, look, like I said...

01:32:14.340 I will say, Liz, his wife, I've met her in real life, she is the fucking coolest.

01:32:18.680 She's just a shit.

01:32:20.060 I'm taking the other side of this coin.

01:32:21.280 I think Cole's too good for her.

01:32:23.000 There you go.

01:32:23.420 Hell yeah.

01:32:24.340 Now, you know what?

01:32:24.860 That is so, like, wholesome in a way, because it's like, I love my boys.

01:32:28.100 Cole, one more question for you.

01:32:29.840 So, you guys are all hammered.

01:32:31.400 You go up to the room.

01:32:32.660 Toad passes out because that's what he does.

01:32:34.920 How does the...

01:32:36.000 Like, was there conversation that there was going to be a threesome, or how did that escalate?

01:32:39.640 I think there was some between my wife and the woman.

01:32:42.160 I was not up, so I came up later.

01:32:44.180 I was still down...

01:32:44.820 And they were already going at it?

01:32:46.580 No.

01:32:47.260 They had already, like, talked or something.

01:32:49.140 And then I get up there to go to bed.

01:32:51.640 And they both start sucking my dick.

01:32:54.060 And then me and my wife start, like, going at it.

01:32:56.640 And then all of a sudden, like, she kind of just joins.

01:32:58.900 Like, at the same time...

01:32:59.880 How does she kind of just join?

01:33:02.000 Well, like...

01:33:02.400 She comes up and she was like, hey, can I suck your dick?

01:33:06.020 And I was like, sure.

01:33:07.360 Were you in your wife at the time?

01:33:09.200 Yes.

01:33:09.940 Fucking awesome.

01:33:11.940 Like I said, you know, I think that she and I were going to wind up doing something.

01:33:17.920 I love how we always have the caveat.

01:33:20.020 It was me and my wife in one bed.

01:33:22.000 And then Toad and her in the other bed.

01:33:24.000 Right.

01:33:24.200 And so this is just like that, you know, in a hotel room when there's two beds.

01:33:26.760 It was that far apart.

01:33:28.360 And so, you know, and I just look over and I see Toad.

01:33:30.960 And he's just fucking going at it.

01:33:32.680 And I was like, well...

01:33:33.780 Poor Toad.

01:33:34.480 I'm sorry, buddy.

01:33:35.320 Dude, you pulled your dick out of your wife and put it in another broad's mouth.

01:33:39.320 And Toad still thinks he had a chance.

01:33:41.200 You are.

01:33:41.880 It's incredible.

01:33:42.340 Dude, we made the point, though, that, like, that is, like, probably the most, like,

01:33:47.420 giga-chat thing you can do in the situation Toad was thrown in.

01:33:50.900 Because it's the idea of, like, do you really hop in the three-way with your boy and two chicks

01:33:55.280 and fuck up his three-way?

01:33:55.320 I want to hear Robbie's breakdown.

01:33:56.820 Like, Robbie, you have his moment.

01:33:58.340 You talk about three-ways.

01:33:59.580 I want to hear the part of the problem.

01:34:01.420 I want to hear both sides.

01:34:02.560 I want to say, you're the dude.

01:34:03.580 Do you back off creepily, make it weird?

01:34:06.440 No.

01:34:06.600 Or do you just, like...

01:34:07.540 No.

01:34:07.860 Or just, like, I'm vibing.

01:34:09.220 I'm with you guys and just fucking crank one out.

01:34:11.440 Like, that is, like...

01:34:12.360 I need to hear...

01:34:13.680 This is not a binary option.

01:34:15.580 I need to hear...

01:34:15.600 I need to hear the part of the problem breakdown of this.

01:34:17.700 If we could get Dave on, too, to break this down, absolutely no.

01:34:22.960 The elements...

01:34:23.860 The elements that just ramp up the strangeness of the situation a little bit is that, like,

01:34:31.320 you're friends with Cole and Cole is with his wife.

01:34:34.620 Like, that's not even a girlfriend situation.

01:34:36.680 That's wife.

01:34:37.680 Yeah.

01:34:38.620 Now...

01:34:39.100 It's, like, real shit.

01:34:39.920 Like, stuff that matters.

01:34:41.520 Yeah.

01:34:42.260 So, now, it's on...

01:34:44.480 Like, so, in other words, if Cole was just hooking up with some random chick,

01:34:47.120 and then it turned into a threesome and you passed out and you woke up, you're like,

01:34:50.240 oh, I guess we're all fucking in here.

01:34:51.560 That makes sense.

01:34:52.140 Yeah.

01:34:52.520 It's, like, I stumbled on an orgy.

01:34:55.080 Yeah, that makes sense.

01:34:55.940 You're like, oh, this is working out way better than I thought.

01:34:58.480 Like, I mean, why didn't you guys wake me up sooner?

01:35:00.720 I can't believe you just left me there, passed out.

01:35:02.480 Like, move over.

01:35:03.380 You know what I mean?

01:35:03.920 Like, I...

01:35:05.360 But...

01:35:05.800 The fact that it's Cole with his wife...

01:35:09.320 I...

01:35:10.440 I think I would sooner just go,

01:35:13.620 I'm gonna pretend like I'm still asleep or walk out of the room.

01:35:16.260 I feel like that's...

01:35:17.120 That's probably what I would do.

01:35:18.480 But it's on Cole because you were...

01:35:21.720 You were...

01:35:22.280 They didn't, like...

01:35:23.300 No one walked over and said,

01:35:24.800 hey, Toad, I think you gotta take a walk for a couple minutes.

01:35:27.440 Like, they just decided, well, he's passed out and that's fine.

01:35:31.040 So...

01:35:31.600 And it was fine.

01:35:33.120 Yeah.

01:35:33.480 So, they didn't...

01:35:35.260 They left you in an environment where

01:35:37.020 I don't think anyone can fault you for jerking off.

01:35:40.260 You know what I mean?

01:35:40.800 Like, I don't think anyone could be like,

01:35:42.160 hey, that was inappropriate.

01:35:44.100 How dare you jerk off while me and my wife are having sex.

01:35:48.180 But...

01:35:48.820 It's still weird to do.

01:35:50.900 Well, well, well.

01:35:51.480 Here's the thing.

01:35:52.140 Here's the thing.

01:35:52.620 I think if...

01:35:53.560 It's a funny, like, scenario.

01:35:55.420 Like, I was just like, what do you do?

01:35:57.420 No, no, no.

01:35:58.040 I want to add something to this.

01:35:59.700 I want to add something to this.

01:36:00.480 My goal in life is to be Louis C.K., so...

01:36:03.980 The funny part is that this is like a blackout drunk thing.

01:36:06.800 He's, like, waking up from a drunken stupor to this happening.

01:36:09.580 Like, what do you do?

01:36:10.840 Guys, can I get in?

01:36:12.000 Maybe.

01:36:12.400 Yeah, go ahead.

01:36:13.240 No, here's the thing.

01:36:13.980 It's like, if it was just me and my wife...

01:36:15.700 If it was just me and my wife having sex,

01:36:17.220 and then, like, they two were staying in their bed,

01:36:19.440 and he just woke up, saw it, and he started to...

01:36:21.200 I think I would have a problem then.

01:36:22.520 But because there was a third woman,

01:36:24.780 I think that changes the dynamic where it's like,

01:36:26.880 I can't fault you, because this is already outside the confines

01:36:30.880 of a regular marital, like, relationship.

01:36:33.760 It would still be on you.

01:36:35.220 Like, yes, it would be more inappropriate for him to jerk off

01:36:38.560 if it was just you and your wife,

01:36:40.280 but you still had sex with you and your wife.

01:36:42.640 Like, you could almost assume that, like,

01:36:45.320 oh, Cole's putting on a show for me now.

01:36:47.260 I love the Jewish breakdown of this.

01:36:49.840 I love how your mind works.

01:36:50.940 It's so great.

01:36:51.680 I'll tell you, I'll tell you.

01:36:52.500 Like, a legal level.

01:36:53.220 There is a distinction here that could have put this

01:36:56.080 into full-blown GigaChad territory,

01:36:58.020 and you failed, Toad.

01:36:59.280 All you had to do was stand up.

01:37:02.060 If you had just stood up and jerked off,

01:37:03.860 that would have been so fucking alpha.

01:37:05.840 I probably should have done that.

01:37:07.580 Can anyone see the private chat?

01:37:09.440 Can anyone see it?

01:37:10.320 Can you put the name of the individual in?

01:37:13.200 Because I...

01:37:14.160 I don't think you know who it is, dude.

01:37:15.920 I want to know.

01:37:17.620 I bet he does.

01:37:18.920 I bet he does.

01:37:18.940 Right away.

01:37:20.580 Yeah, there you go.

01:37:22.060 All right.

01:37:22.280 Yeah, so, I don't know.

01:37:24.280 What else was I even going to say?

01:37:25.340 I don't know.

01:37:26.020 I don't want to be mean,

01:37:27.300 but we can discuss that later.

01:37:31.480 He does.

01:37:33.020 Oh, yeah.

01:37:35.280 A hole in the hole.

01:37:37.100 I will...

01:37:38.060 No comment until after the podcast.

01:37:40.240 Yeah, we...

01:37:40.940 God bless everybody.

01:37:42.760 Cole, Cole.

01:37:43.400 Serious question.

01:37:44.160 Serious question.

01:37:44.940 If it's me in that room,

01:37:46.420 and I try and get in and have a foursome

01:37:47.920 with you and your wife,

01:37:49.120 what do you do?

01:37:49.900 Oh, my God.

01:37:50.820 That is, like,

01:37:52.520 my worst nightmare.

01:37:53.820 Get your joke out of here, man!

01:37:55.600 Come on, bro!

01:37:57.000 Because I can only imagine

01:37:58.040 just...

01:37:58.680 I'm going at it,

01:37:59.660 and then I just see a penis,

01:38:00.900 like, flying in,

01:38:01.620 like, 9-11

01:38:02.260 to a twin power

01:38:03.820 just right in my wife's mouth.

01:38:05.380 Like, that's all I can think of.

01:38:06.600 What's so shocking to me

01:38:07.880 is the people that I would have thought

01:38:09.160 were, like, shy

01:38:10.180 that just aren't.

01:38:11.780 Right.

01:38:12.300 Oh, yeah.

01:38:13.180 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:38:13.580 It's just not something

01:38:14.900 I would have...

01:38:15.600 Like, if you...

01:38:16.520 If you gave me 20 Twitter names

01:38:18.240 and been like,

01:38:19.200 which one was it,

01:38:20.220 I would not have gone with that one.

01:38:22.620 I would have gone up

01:38:23.480 and just went over there.

01:38:24.360 I wouldn't have said a fucking word,

01:38:25.580 and I just would have been

01:38:26.260 tossing Cole's salad

01:38:27.440 while he's drilling both of them.

01:38:28.640 Oh, God.

01:38:30.200 That was the other thing.

01:38:32.460 I'm not only going to facilitate

01:38:34.440 your three-way,

01:38:35.060 I'm going to enhance it.

01:38:36.400 That was the thing.

01:38:37.580 I didn't say this story, Cole.

01:38:40.020 If Toad wanted to join,

01:38:42.440 the only person Toad could fuck

01:38:45.420 would be the other woman or me.

01:38:48.580 Right.

01:38:48.960 If he wanted to...

01:38:49.480 That's right.

01:38:50.140 If he wanted to join in,

01:38:51.380 he'd be like,

01:38:52.060 you have to spread my ass cheeks

01:38:53.620 and then join in

01:38:54.440 because that's the only way

01:38:55.240 I'm allowing this to happen.

01:38:56.320 I got another question.

01:38:57.240 All right.

01:38:57.620 So, threesome ends, right?

01:38:59.800 When the threesome ends,

01:39:01.440 do you end up sleeping in the bed

01:39:02.560 with both those ladies?

01:39:04.040 No, she goes back to the bed with Toad.

01:39:05.460 With Toad,

01:39:06.080 and then Toad just got to lay

01:39:07.040 in a bed with her?

01:39:08.140 Oh, my Toad.

01:39:09.480 Finish the story.

01:39:11.060 I've been...

01:39:11.720 Oh, yeah, that's not the end.

01:39:13.720 That's not even the end.

01:39:14.320 It gets kind of better?

01:39:15.340 Yeah, it gets cooler on his part.

01:39:17.040 We just, like,

01:39:17.600 bait that shit now.

01:39:19.060 Yo, yo.

01:39:19.540 Does Toad end up having sex with her?

01:39:20.800 No, no, he does not.

01:39:21.800 But, Robbie,

01:39:22.180 you're not even ready for what...

01:39:23.300 Yeah, you know,

01:39:23.860 you would never...

01:39:25.000 I would give you a million...

01:39:25.760 Cole also left part of this out, too.

01:39:28.800 So, I'm guessing Toad finished.

01:39:32.320 I don't think even Toad knows

01:39:33.660 if he finished.

01:39:34.100 I have no idea.

01:39:35.880 I don't remember any of this happening.

01:39:37.960 So, yes,

01:39:38.360 they'll threesome ends.

01:39:39.340 She goes back into her bed.

01:39:40.580 I stay in my bed with my wife.

01:39:41.600 We all go to sleep.

01:39:42.960 Two hours later, maybe.

01:39:44.260 Middle of the night.

01:39:44.800 We're going to make a big

01:39:45.120 off the story, guys.

01:39:46.420 3 a.m.

01:39:47.720 We just hear

01:39:48.820 what it sounds like

01:39:49.820 the shower's on.

01:39:51.100 And I was thinking, like,

01:39:51.820 who's fucking taking a shower

01:39:52.740 at 3 a.m.?

01:39:53.120 I look up.

01:39:54.080 Toad is now standing

01:39:55.020 beside the bed.

01:39:57.060 And, obviously,

01:39:58.060 there's water rushing.

01:39:59.360 Toad is...

01:40:00.160 Toad is watching her shower?

01:40:01.780 No.

01:40:02.280 Toad is pissing beside the bed

01:40:04.540 that she was laying in.

01:40:06.060 He had gotten up

01:40:06.800 in the middle of the night.

01:40:09.720 Toad.

01:40:10.880 He took off his hands.

01:40:13.320 This is a giga-chan shit.

01:40:14.860 This is where it's like,

01:40:15.640 all right.

01:40:16.280 Like, I can...

01:40:16.780 No, no, no.

01:40:17.140 This is where it gets

01:40:18.200 real good.

01:40:18.740 I believe it.

01:40:19.600 I saw him get kicked

01:40:20.600 out of a bar, so...

01:40:22.140 That's true.

01:40:23.040 Cole forgot to mention

01:40:25.140 one other thing

01:40:25.940 about this.

01:40:26.500 So, Toad...

01:40:28.300 So, he's pissing

01:40:29.320 out, like, just

01:40:29.980 onto the floor.

01:40:31.360 And the woman,

01:40:32.260 who was a very nice woman,

01:40:33.340 she wants to help so much,

01:40:34.880 she goes and grabs

01:40:36.060 the ice bucket

01:40:37.760 to catch the piss

01:40:39.920 so that it wouldn't

01:40:41.640 hit the floor.

01:40:42.660 And so, she quickly,

01:40:45.260 like a panther,

01:40:46.880 goes, gets it,

01:40:48.160 puts it on her own

01:40:48.660 feet.

01:40:48.860 A cougar, actually.

01:40:49.860 Yeah.

01:40:50.280 A cougar, yeah.

01:40:51.180 So, dude, Toad is so

01:40:52.380 fucking cool to me.

01:40:54.060 But there's still more.

01:40:55.620 And then he just

01:40:56.640 gets up, he fucking...

01:40:58.860 He's flying back up,

01:41:00.400 and then gets back up

01:41:01.180 and falls asleep.

01:41:02.640 Does not...

01:41:03.480 Like, no fucks.

01:41:04.300 Like, nothing happened.

01:41:05.040 Right.

01:41:05.400 With her,

01:41:07.160 with her,

01:41:07.700 and then when I woke up,

01:41:09.000 I was basically like,

01:41:10.120 whip out that titty,

01:41:11.260 and then I sucked her titty.

01:41:12.700 Yeah, that's the part

01:41:14.220 that puts her on top.

01:41:15.020 Like, I peel the cord,

01:41:16.700 made you clean it,

01:41:17.720 and sucked your titty.

01:41:19.180 Keep in mind,

01:41:19.600 I jerked off to you

01:41:20.500 fucking right before.

01:41:24.520 And I don't need

01:41:25.520 to see my face.

01:41:28.540 So, Toad,

01:41:29.920 the next morning,

01:41:30.940 you don't have sex,

01:41:32.400 you don't get any action.

01:41:33.940 You're just like,

01:41:34.460 we've already shared a bed,

01:41:35.840 and I would just enjoy

01:41:37.300 for your tit to be in my mouth.

01:41:39.840 Yeah.

01:41:40.100 And so,

01:41:40.700 and that,

01:41:41.020 and that,

01:41:41.840 you did that,

01:41:42.600 and then that was it.

01:41:43.740 And then,

01:41:44.140 and then we had to tell him

01:41:45.840 what happened that night,

01:41:46.960 because he had no clue.

01:41:47.720 Right,

01:41:47.740 because I didn't remember

01:41:48.380 any of it.

01:41:48.880 And I was like,

01:41:49.280 we were like,

01:41:49.760 let me just say,

01:41:51.160 I remember going back to my room.

01:41:52.560 This lady gets the tower gang

01:41:55.500 pod award of the year,

01:41:56.680 because she's the coolest.

01:41:58.380 I mean,

01:41:59.340 she was,

01:42:02.000 after he got done pissing,

01:42:03.240 and she had already grabbed

01:42:04.080 a lot of it in the,

01:42:05.100 in the ice bucket,

01:42:06.200 she just immediately went

01:42:06.960 and got towels and stuff

01:42:08.200 to wipe up the pee,

01:42:09.540 because he just pissed

01:42:10.340 on a fucking carpet floor.

01:42:11.800 I'll tell you,

01:42:12.040 didn't throw you out of the room,

01:42:13.320 still share the bed with you.

01:42:14.240 Oh, yes,

01:42:14.720 he did it though.

01:42:15.280 And had no problem

01:42:17.200 letting you suck on them titties.

01:42:18.720 I don't,

01:42:19.280 I don't think that this story

01:42:20.600 is necessarily,

01:42:21.480 like,

01:42:21.660 I don't think this is actually true,

01:42:23.220 but the next time you,

01:42:24.800 every bit after knowing

01:42:25.840 the next time you retell it,

01:42:27.040 no, no, no, hold on.

01:42:27.480 This happened, yeah.

01:42:28.180 The next,

01:42:28.580 no, I know what happened.

01:42:29.280 I'm saying this part of the story

01:42:30.460 that I'm about to make up.

01:42:31.380 Oh.

01:42:31.980 The next time you tell it,

01:42:33.240 I need you to include this.

01:42:34.780 You came on this girl's tits,

01:42:37.620 and then she goes to bed,

01:42:40.140 Toad wakes up,

01:42:40.840 and he sucks on that tit.

01:42:42.320 Yeah, he finished.

01:42:43.160 Oh.

01:42:43.800 Wait,

01:42:44.120 so you have no idea

01:42:44.880 where your jizz

01:42:45.540 may or may not have ended up.

01:42:47.280 Probably his tummy.

01:42:49.420 That's all I can think of.

01:42:50.280 No, no,

01:42:50.420 he's asking about yours, brother.

01:42:51.960 Oh, mine?

01:42:52.760 Oh, you were saying

01:42:53.900 I came on her tits.

01:42:55.120 No.

01:42:55.560 That's even better.

01:42:56.280 Oh, yeah.

01:42:56.700 Yeah.

01:42:57.400 Okay, I'll say that.

01:42:58.360 God.

01:43:01.000 Okay, I'll say that.

01:43:02.540 No.

01:43:03.680 Toad, you got red hair?

01:43:07.860 I have no hair, so.

01:43:09.920 It was one of the wildest nights

01:43:11.920 I can ever remember,

01:43:13.160 and it was just like,

01:43:14.280 I didn't know

01:43:15.360 if I should tell anybody

01:43:16.320 because at this point,

01:43:17.520 it was just me,

01:43:18.740 my wife,

01:43:19.440 this other woman,

01:43:20.000 and Toad,

01:43:20.540 and Toad actually

01:43:21.240 didn't know what he did.

01:43:22.020 for so long.

01:43:22.760 The next lady,

01:43:24.380 when you were no longer

01:43:25.500 like completely hammered,

01:43:27.600 did you guys

01:43:28.180 three-some again

01:43:29.280 or like?

01:43:30.300 Actually,

01:43:31.080 actually.

01:43:33.100 Oh, I think it's

01:43:34.120 going to do a different chick

01:43:34.880 now, doesn't it?

01:43:35.520 You might know.

01:43:35.980 Yeah, so the next night,

01:43:37.620 actually,

01:43:38.240 we were going to have

01:43:38.880 another one

01:43:39.800 with a different lady.

01:43:42.260 With a different lady.

01:43:43.420 All right,

01:43:43.680 put the name in the cap.

01:43:44.860 I'm not like,

01:43:45.620 I'm okay with saying.

01:43:46.560 And a different guy

01:43:47.600 jerking off in the corner, too.

01:43:49.180 Oh, this one was

01:43:50.600 Liberty Thought,

01:43:52.140 if you know who

01:43:52.600 Liberty Thought is.

01:43:53.440 Sarah.

01:43:53.580 Okay.

01:43:54.380 Yeah, she was the

01:43:55.280 Oh, you're just

01:43:55.760 going to throw names out?

01:43:56.560 Fuck it.

01:43:56.820 Yeah, she was the third one

01:43:57.920 on this night.

01:43:59.300 You know what I'm learning

01:44:00.060 about myself tonight?

01:44:01.800 I'm really not cool.

01:44:04.940 Because I have way more

01:44:06.920 comedy career going on

01:44:08.060 than you do.

01:44:08.700 I go to way more

01:44:09.680 of these events,

01:44:10.320 and I'm not having

01:44:10.960 any of these experiences.

01:44:12.580 Robbie, there's a reason

01:44:13.600 we're going on TimCast.

01:44:15.300 Yeah.

01:44:16.140 These guys,

01:44:17.100 fuck, dog.

01:44:19.160 I really got to rethink

01:44:20.520 my whole thing here.

01:44:22.060 Fucking in the key.

01:44:24.460 By the way,

01:44:25.240 Toad's pissing on floors,

01:44:26.940 jerking off in front

01:44:27.760 of married people,

01:44:28.700 and then sucking on

01:44:29.360 tits in the morning.

01:44:30.820 You're getting two

01:44:31.760 threesomes in one weekend,

01:44:33.340 even though you're

01:44:33.800 a married guy?

01:44:35.280 Man, I am fucking up.

01:44:37.220 By the way,

01:44:37.760 oh, God, I can't

01:44:38.760 even add this part.

01:44:39.740 Never mind.

01:44:40.560 Oh, yeah, well,

01:44:41.180 I'll tell you the

01:44:42.380 because there is

01:44:43.100 a whole other story

01:44:44.040 with the second threesome

01:44:45.540 because that one

01:44:47.120 was wild.

01:44:47.560 And that's Patreon only, guys.

01:44:50.080 Double threesome weekend.

01:44:51.900 Jeez, good for you.

01:44:52.900 I usually call it

01:44:53.780 the one and a half

01:44:54.440 because the second one

01:44:55.400 never finished.

01:44:56.920 And there was a reason.

01:44:57.920 It never really began.

01:44:59.360 Oh, no, it began.

01:45:02.220 But it was,

01:45:04.360 Tom Woods 2000

01:45:04.980 was one of the most

01:45:05.740 fun weekends I ever had.

01:45:07.560 Oh, dude.

01:45:07.920 It was so fun.

01:45:08.520 It was wild.

01:45:09.400 It was fucking,

01:45:10.700 it was wild.

01:45:11.280 We just like showed up

01:45:12.020 and partied and weirdly

01:45:12.980 all these libertarians

01:45:13.720 were like,

01:45:14.360 well, these guys seem

01:45:15.160 like the life of the party.

01:45:18.620 When we're in

01:45:19.720 that atmosphere

01:45:20.840 and it's all

01:45:21.520 autistic libertarians,

01:45:22.900 we actually are

01:45:23.480 the lives of the party.

01:45:24.460 And by the way,

01:45:24.920 the next night

01:45:25.600 I slept with Reed Coverdale,

01:45:26.960 so there was that.

01:45:28.360 All right.

01:45:30.780 We cut off

01:45:31.540 what was supposed to be,

01:45:33.040 I think,

01:45:33.960 a last bit

01:45:35.340 or another bit,

01:45:36.300 but let's make it

01:45:36.860 the last bit.

01:45:37.480 Did you want me

01:45:37.920 to ask this question?

01:45:38.840 I don't know

01:45:39.340 if you really want

01:45:40.100 to.

01:45:42.300 I mean,

01:45:42.820 it's not as funny,

01:45:43.700 but I just don't

01:45:46.380 know the answer.

01:45:47.300 Save it for next week

01:45:48.760 because I don't want

01:45:50.020 to end up on a,

01:45:51.020 you're going to end up

01:45:51.880 on like a sour note

01:45:52.800 with fucking toes gate questions.

01:45:53.900 Yeah, I don't know

01:45:54.560 how much I trust

01:45:55.520 the quality of your question

01:45:57.200 and we were really

01:45:58.000 at a high point,

01:45:58.640 so it's probably

01:45:58.920 a good spot to kill it,

01:45:59.920 you know?

01:46:00.380 I just want to say,

01:46:01.500 I can't tell this story,

01:46:02.960 but I will one day,

01:46:03.920 I hope.

01:46:04.360 I hope I'll be allowed

01:46:05.120 to one day.

01:46:06.200 My weekend

01:46:06.900 competed strongly

01:46:08.460 with.

01:46:08.700 Oh, yeah,

01:46:09.220 I remember.

01:46:09.940 If that's the case,

01:46:13.540 let's call it an episode

01:46:14.700 and lay it on me,

01:46:15.760 Mr.

01:46:15.980 Yeah, we will.

01:46:17.620 All right.

01:46:17.960 Fuck you, audience.

01:46:19.160 We're doing

01:46:19.480 the next stage.

01:46:21.040 By the way, though,

01:46:22.240 sign up for the Patreon,

01:46:23.680 patreon.com

01:46:24.320 slash tower gang pod.

01:46:25.580 We did do a Patreon

01:46:26.660 only one six episode

01:46:28.400 on one six,

01:46:29.360 which is pretty fun.

01:46:30.380 And of course,

01:46:30.900 Reed Coverdale

01:46:31.520 was on that one,

01:46:32.400 so go check it out.

01:46:33.400 I wasn't on that.

01:46:34.160 I watched it.

01:46:34.680 It was a banger.

01:46:35.240 It really was.

01:46:36.080 It was a really good episode.

01:46:36.740 If you can ignore

01:46:37.620 Reed's weird mic

01:46:39.100 making him sound like

01:46:39.800 Justin O'Donnell

01:46:40.380 breathing constantly.

01:46:41.840 But yeah,

01:46:42.560 it was a really good episode.

01:46:43.920 It was fucking hilarious.

01:46:44.940 But yeah,

01:46:45.620 we decided to leave it

01:46:46.800 on Patreon just because

01:46:47.760 like so many of you guys

01:46:49.020 actually watched it

01:46:49.940 and we didn't expect

01:46:50.460 that kind of turnout.

01:46:51.080 We're like,

01:46:51.840 well, you know,

01:46:52.400 people are paying for this.

01:46:53.320 We should provide them

01:46:54.060 something.

01:46:54.720 So did you say

01:46:55.160 we got 50 views?

01:46:56.300 Do we have 50 Patriots?

01:46:57.360 Yeah, I was like,

01:46:58.060 there's actually 50 people

01:46:58.960 in the Patreon.

01:46:59.540 No, no, no.

01:47:00.260 We had up to,

01:47:02.020 I don't know,

01:47:02.420 like maybe it got up

01:47:03.340 to 10 during that one.

01:47:04.540 No, no, no.

01:47:04.920 But overall,

01:47:05.780 so people came back

01:47:06.400 and watched it later.

01:47:07.020 It wasn't all like.

01:47:07.320 Oh, I don't know.

01:47:08.120 I don't know.

01:47:08.400 Yeah, it was over 50.

01:47:09.140 I bet you some of our

01:47:10.000 Patreon people are sharing

01:47:10.980 the link like a bunch

01:47:11.760 of cheap cunts.

01:47:12.400 Maybe they are.

01:47:13.140 I don't care.

01:47:13.680 I'm good with it.

01:47:14.140 All right, guys,

01:47:14.700 listen, listen, listen.

01:47:15.880 We got to end this.

01:47:16.560 I see Robbie on the edge

01:47:17.560 of his seat for this story.

01:47:18.520 Guys, we are Tower Gang.

01:47:19.580 It's a good one.

01:47:20.320 It's a good one.

01:47:20.700 Thank you, Robbie,

01:47:21.740 for being on.

01:47:22.700 Catch me and Clint

01:47:23.660 on TimCast on Tuesday

01:47:25.540 and we'll catch you

01:47:26.900 next week on Wednesday.

01:47:28.920 That's a good one.

01:47:29.480 Peace.

01:47:30.600 Suck my balls.

01:47:32.220 Yeah.

01:47:32.960 Love you guys.

01:47:33.420 You're the Tower, bitches.

Tower Gang - January 14, 2023

Ep 105 - One and a Half Threesomes w⧸ Robbie the Fire

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