Tower Gang - January 21, 2023


Ep 106 - Unvirgin the Olive Oil

Hosted by
Clint Russell Cole Toad Jose Galison TopLobsta Layne Tyler (Janke)
Mentioned
Kanye West Mindy Kaling Tom Segura Joe Biden Margaret Sanger Chris Holdsworth William Hung Simon Cowell Mitt Romney Crypt Daddy
Ep 105 - One and a Half Threesomes w⧸ Robbie the Fire Ep 107 - Hitler's Fleshlight w⧸ Cripp Daddy

Episode Stats


Length

1 hour and 52 minutes

Words per minute

201.1

Word count

22,663

Sentence count

13

Harmful content

Misogyny

140

sentences flagged

Toxicity

761

sentences flagged

Hate speech

408

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

In this episode of You Fucking Sluts, Toad, Fat Dave, and Top Lobster are joined by their brother from another mother, the Long Trucker himself, Tim, to talk about a variety of topics.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
Hosts, guests, and mentioned names generated with spaCy (en_core_web_sm), reconciled against Wikidata.
00:00:00.000 what's up retards the funniest 9-11 jokes were written on 9-12 women jerk off dicks like 1.00
00:00:06.280 fucking they're an unruly ferret yeah you ever had a 9-11 cocktail it's in manhattan with two 1.00
00:00:13.560 kamikazes you see the socialists don't have an accurate answer for this and she needs to account 1.00
00:00:20.540 for it white women must be stopped that's right what yeah we can stay horny and retarded longer 1.00
00:00:28.620 and she can stay sane what your ass ass to penis ratio man maybe you could say we had sex but we 1.00
00:00:35.280 didn't fuck but you said oh jesus fat dave fuck you man uh wait where's our uh we'll have to wait and 1.00
00:00:48.140 see but i think we'll uh we'll wrap it up here guys thanks for hanging out it's been an interesting 1.00
00:00:51.420 day thanks tim one more question the guys wanted to say uh can tim look into the camera and say
00:00:56.300 that he endorses tower gang as the most offensive podcast on earth i don't know that's true
00:01:00.520 can you just pretend yeah just a lot who cares may or may not be give us something offensive how
00:01:05.540 about if you i mean i asked you how racist i could be in this segment i think that demonstrates that
00:01:11.760 we're pretty offensive i don't know endorsements are a big thing so you know that's right he wants
00:01:15.500 to get paid i get it that's true okay no no no i mean it has to be true can you just can you say 0.97
00:01:20.020 that we suck that would be awesome i don't think you guys suck either though i'm not gonna say 0.99
00:01:22.940 shit damn it man what about tower gang may or may not be fill in the blank sufficient ian could you 0.99
00:01:29.680 just say that tower gang is the most offensive podcast i got it the most i don't know no i i can 0.99
00:01:34.200 say it i don't i haven't seen it yet i can say it i don't think i think you see you want me to say
00:01:37.260 it yeah say it yeah all right tower gang asked me to say tower gang is the most offensive podcast
00:01:42.860 but i can't make that statement without knowing for sure that's good enough for me thank you i'll take it
00:01:47.800 i'll take it all right guys thanks for hanging out 0.99
00:01:50.020 welcome everybody to another fucking live stream edition of tower gang podcast you fucking sluts i'm 1.00
00:01:56.320 so glad that you joined us uh as always i am joined with my brother from another mother the long 1.00
00:02:01.780 trucker himself mr top lobster.com top lobster what's up man we got fucking sex appeal in the building 0.99
00:02:08.000 mr fat dave who is looking incredibly not fat right now mr cole oh i thought that was my intro 1.00
00:02:14.260 and then and then the the double sexiest motherfucker we got right here is toad aka 0.99
00:02:19.880 tower gang what's up brother legion of skanks right here since we're now on gas digital let's 0.99
00:02:24.160 fucking go did that happen for real i was gone i was doing something i didn't see i was just on a 0.94
00:02:31.820 podcast last night i didn't know did we actually get signed lewis reached out in the middle of the 0.98
00:02:36.800 night after seeing the clip and he was like he's like just give me a number and i was like all right
00:02:41.600 it's crazy all lewis lewis said all i want is toad's toad's virginity
00:02:45.560 dude even even though i would prefer to lose it to a woman if i could lose it to lewis that wouldn't 0.96
00:02:52.640 be the worst thing uh real quick top five guys you want to lose your virginity to toad right now 0.52
00:02:58.540 just say just top five oh god i'd have to think about that no no right off the bat there's the
00:03:04.920 first name that pops in your head it has to be there's one i know there's probably one or two
00:03:08.440 like right right away the first one that popped into my head was dave smith that's probably 0.97
00:03:13.200 he went the painful route he's like i want that big joosh long in my fucking keister it's like i 1.00
00:03:20.880 want i want to get like a fucking colonic with his dick is basically what it's circumcised so you 1.00
00:03:26.560 know it's it's got a little uh it's a little bit shorter than it would be what the fuck are you 1.00
00:03:30.700 talking about he's got a giant dick everyone knows this i think like do you think if if oh my god 1.00
00:03:36.420 if you circumcise the dick you think it gets shorter like you think they cut the tip off like 1.00
00:03:39.600 the actual tip of the dick when you're dealing when you're dealing in meters to begin with 0.99
00:03:44.340 like the every little bit counts for toad his foreskin's like eight tenths of his dick so yeah 0.99
00:03:51.700 you're like i need it i i he was really upset that he had to get it cut off because he was like i lost 0.99
00:03:57.080 10 of my dick like yeah and it was worse it was worse because i was circumcised at an age where i can 1.00
00:04:02.780 remember it happening so that's how old are you three oh what the fuck's wrong with your 1.00
00:04:07.440 parents remember when you were three yeah like here and there i don't have anything but more 10
00:04:11.920 he remembers he remembers just about as much as like as seeing that threesome just like flashes
00:04:18.020 he lost all those memories via plasma transfusions but oh why why did they wait until you were three
00:04:25.120 they just wanted to make sure you remembered it to teach you a lesson yeah just painful no like as i've
00:04:30.320 said before did you not clean up your room and they're like get over here we're chopping you 0.63
00:04:34.200 now's the time i think my parents did that thing where it was like where uh they kind of you know
00:04:41.040 when you like have like a yellow light you either have to like really just run right through it or
00:04:44.980 you somebody might like stop in the middle of the intersection and then decide to go but like it's 0.98
00:04:49.440 turned red by then that's basically what they did as an intersection i'm so confused your dick was 0.99
00:04:53.440 turning yellow or red his dick was jaundiced this metaphor is so confusing was your dick green 0.99
00:04:59.680 it was gangrene no i don't know no like i think my mom like when i was a baby she's like oh i'm 0.99
00:05:06.660 not gonna like mutilate his penis like you know he's a little baby like we can't do that to an 0.99
00:05:10.780 innocent baby then by the time i was three she was like fuck this well because they probably just 1.00
00:05:14.940 didn't clean your penis you have to clean that thing like daily and they were just like eh 0.99
00:05:18.720 whatever like oh i know yeah like no no girl's gonna touch this anyway i was three i didn't have 1.00
00:05:25.120 the legitimately my wife that was my wife's argument she was like i'm i wouldn't suck a 1.00
00:05:28.900 circumcised penis so i didn't start an uncircumcised penis so i want to cut his dick off and i was like 1.00
00:05:33.580 what not cut his dick off yeah now now i'm offended wait my mom is sucking my penis what are you talking 1.00
00:05:39.700 about no no no no my wife was saying like he needs to be circumcised because no girl likes an 1.00
00:05:45.140 uncircumcised penis and i was referencing your son obviously yes my son yeah yeah she loves my 0.99
00:05:50.060 she loves my circumcised penis you have to make things explicit or else toe gets lost 1.00
00:05:54.380 i like everything to be very explicit he's like wait your wife wants to suck my dick but only if 1.00
00:05:59.580 i'm circumcised that's all he hears wife or uh mother he's just like they want to fuck me that's 1.00
00:06:05.340 it that's but no she was that was her main argument and i was like why are you thinking about 1.00
00:06:10.220 sucking people sucking your son's dick because i'm pretty sure i'm trying to i'm trying to figure out 1.00
00:06:14.840 actually is it cool as a mom to be like i'm looking out for my son when he's like 1.00
00:06:19.920 about to get laid or is it uh incestual yeah i i thought it was weird and i was saying girls are 0.98
00:06:27.320 gonna like i think a penis looks weird no matter what i think uncircumcised circumcised a penis is 0.99
00:06:32.480 probably the weird it's definitely weirder than a vagina i feel like oh that's so very weird so 1.00
00:06:37.800 backwards dude my no no way no pretty than a vagina yeah the vagina the vagina looks like like the 1.00
00:06:43.880 predator's mouth it's just like wow you guys are what the hell looks my dick is more handsome than 1.00
00:06:51.020 a pussy that's a fact and and just to finish that real quick so what happened was i had a 1.00
00:06:56.980 an inguinal hernia when i was three so it's a hernia of the groin so i went in to have that 1.00
00:07:03.280 surgically repaired and then my mom was like ah fuck it cut his uh foreskin off at the same time 1.00
00:07:08.280 it was kind of like i mean the same thing happened to my dog actually 0.99
00:07:12.680 we went in the dog had cancer we said put him to sleep no no i swear to god no i swear to god so we
00:07:21.380 uh my dog had ingested something like some port of like tin floor or something and we went in there
00:07:25.980 and there and the uh doctor was like by the way if you want to while he's under i can go ahead and
00:07:30.920 uh neuter him and i was like we were like ah maybe we don't know if we want to do it or not
00:07:36.560 and then he literally just yeah so he goes in there does a surgery to open up his stomach 0.97
00:07:42.640 doesn't find anything and then just goes ahead and just chops his balls off and we never and then 0.83
00:07:47.280 he was like that'll be 200 we're like we didn't want you to do that he was like can't put him back 0.99
00:07:52.080 on and like it's so yeah you gotta you had a fucking uh veterinarian that was a eugenicist 0.99
00:07:58.880 that's yeah no just just snip my dog's balls maybe that you know the lack of testosterone 1.00
00:08:04.040 weakens his spine the great great grandchild of margaret sanger walks the earth maybe it was the 0.99
00:08:09.240 car that you ran him over with maybe it was that uh had a drunk buddy whenever the dog was a puppy
00:08:15.840 uh jumped onto the couch didn't see the dog and just landed right on it and the dog just squealed
00:08:21.460 for like a couple hours and then wow oh is that how it happened so i mean that's not how it happened
00:08:27.080 but you know later in life cole did what uh mitt romney did that time and like put the dog like
00:08:32.460 strapped it to the roof of the vehicle for like a long vacation and then it was like
00:08:36.340 shitting off the side of the vehicle as its legs are being paralyzed yeah didn't like that story 0.97
00:08:41.820 speaking of things that toad wants to probably bang we have a really fucked up uh show topic that you 0.98
00:08:50.380 guys are going to enjoy or actually hate and unsubscribe instantly but it doesn't matter 0.91
00:08:55.060 because we got you to tune in once yeah we get you one time we're gonna find out whether or not 0.98
00:09:00.080 you're right or die right now yeah this is ladies and gentlemen is prick or dick and i will explain 0.99
00:09:05.860 what this is this is so dark who wants who wants to explain it all right so this came up because i 0.99
00:09:14.080 think it was toad or somebody sent in the chat it was top it was top um sent in a woman that had 0.95
00:09:21.300 recently uh as we know that's happening is uh suddenly died uh which for you know no reason
00:09:28.100 just died no reason yeah no this is just we're not gonna say what happened or natural causes yeah
00:09:33.840 natural causes and then he brought up he was just like i think he said wood or something and then he
00:09:39.840 was like it would be pretty funny to like say if we would or wouldn't on a lot of suddenly died
00:09:45.300 people and just and and my only caveat was you have to still do them while they're dead this is
00:09:50.680 a thing this is the thing and how does it doesn't matter how long they've been dead or are we assuming
00:09:55.980 that the cadavers are fresh no it's gotta be fresh it'd be really funny though if it was a suddenly died
00:10:02.340 from 2020 you gotta dig it up sorry bro she was a 10 in real life she's like a dead eight so 0.93
00:10:12.300 god damn dude jesus christ what what's the uh the month of decomposition that like decreases a 0.83
00:10:21.840 point off of the 10 point scale it depends what the rate i would i would say daily it's probably a 0.99
00:10:28.080 weird curve that actually after a while it kind of slides back up a little bit because no no no no
00:10:34.160 listen listen it has to be because at a certain point decomposition they stop stinking they just
00:10:39.160 become like and so it has to go down wow and then you would have to come up just a tad because 0.99
00:10:44.380 you'd be like it was stinky a month ago come up just like my dick now it's just decrepit 0.99
00:10:48.940 at a certain point it just becomes skin yeah at a certain point though it becomes just like 1.00
00:10:54.440 bone so it doesn't stink anymore so that's would you rather fuck bones or are you fuck uh like a 0.99
00:11:01.440 literally decomposing flesh i thought this was just gonna be silly funny and now it's dark and i'm 0.99
00:11:05.780 concerned about it she's gonna get boned is what i'm saying but uh what what if uh the person is 1.00
00:11:11.860 cremated do you have to fuck the ashes you stick your dick right in the urn i'd rather that than a 1.00
00:11:17.460 fucking decomposing body my god all right please bring up would you say that it's you fresh cadavers 1.00
00:11:22.580 they they just suddenly died i'd rather they just be alive can we just make them alive 1.00
00:11:27.380 the new game cremated or cream pie oh jesus christ
00:11:33.460 a little bit of bokeh get a nice little nice mixture in there 0.66
00:11:38.660 dry aged poon 0.99
00:11:41.940 holy shit we need more we need more graphic uh i i just like the thought of like uh yes this poon is 0.97
00:11:51.160 90 day dry aged it's uh yeah but you know you know let me read it let me read it so sad 32 years 0.99
00:11:56.760 old and dying of cardiac failure not just skipping over that next line she posted on her social media
00:12:02.200 page i am a young girl of 32 with cardiac pacemaker i heard the doctors talking about heart failure due to
00:12:08.120 my blood results probably just because of uh anemia or something it has nothing to do with anything else 0.99
00:12:13.800 uh oh wow that's a hard dick 0.99
00:12:16.760 i'll tell you um i'm going prick as it so prick means we're we're not going to the only reason is 0.99
00:12:24.520 i hate bangs and her teeth are kind of weird looking i don't know if you see one gum is way 0.89
00:12:29.480 fucking higher than the other in the front don't like that i'm a big uh perfect teeth kind of guy 0.97
00:12:34.120 i will wow yeah i'll also say prick because it looks like she has cancer that looks like like fake hair 1.00
00:12:40.200 it looks oh that's true i i maybe maybe women don't actually have bangs the only time they do is 1.00
00:12:45.260 whenever they're like it's a wig wow can you imagine having both cancer and inexplicable blood
00:12:51.960 issues yeah yeah i don't know what would cause any of that um talking about bangs here uh i'm gonna be 0.85
00:13:00.620 giving her some of that i'm going dick honestly toad i i will only be surprised if you like if you say 0.95
00:13:08.180 not like even i know there's one in here that is uh i mean a fucking troll and even then i'm 0.99
00:13:14.840 expecting a bang on that dude look i mean i uh i go out to like the uh the female uh like cancer 0.98
00:13:20.400 wards to uh pick up chicks because they have low self-esteem it's like i i just wanted to say i i
00:13:27.760 really wanted this segment to be called vax pass or vax smash because then you get to play into the
00:13:32.500 double entendre of the vax pass that we all railed against but we didn't want to go political so it's
00:13:37.380 prick or dick let's bring up the next one yeah yeah these people they might not even be vaccinated 1.00
00:13:42.340 we're not sure no no these people may not even be dead this is just twitter shit who the fuck knows 1.00
00:13:47.540 here we go there we go is that bill gates those bangs do it for me actually this one i bet she has 1.00
00:13:56.840 nice teeth and if we're going dead she already looks kind of dead beforehand honestly there's no drop 1.00
00:14:04.780 for me i mean if we're if this is if this is like a sliding scale this is like a 10 i'm i'm going
00:14:11.820 i'm going just because she was a staunch critic of anti-vaxxers and uh that's just something i can't
00:14:19.340 get past oh was she what is i can't even i can't read so now now that's what i'll say and i and i said
00:14:25.740 this to top um because it's some of these because i don't know they might be fully vaccinated i have 0.99
00:14:32.500 no clue um they tried to fuck us for three years and so if i get the chance i'm gonna fuck them 0.99
00:14:39.540 fuck so this being an anti-vaxxer 100 percent yeah and let's just the other girl the other girl's gum 1.00
00:14:46.580 was slightly recessed and you're like get the fuck daddy no no i agree with i will only spite fuck 1.00
00:14:52.840 they tried to fuck us for years and now it's our turn to fuck them but that doesn't mean of 1.00
00:14:57.780 anyone who's vaccinated listening that doesn't mean that you get to like slip up on your game 1.00
00:15:01.700 keep your shit nice keep your gums even keep your hair straight now this lady here she's got a very 1.00
00:15:08.700 like german dictatorish look and i kind of like that like almost ayn randish like she'll she'll like be 1.00
00:15:13.800 like oh yeah very dominant top is sexually attracted to nazis to turn to turn the tables on her because 1.00
00:15:19.120 she would just be basically you know incoherent i mean basically she'd be a corpse i i do think it 0.99
00:15:24.120 would be an interesting lay so i would say dick not prick out of spite we also hear the thing too 0.99
00:15:30.560 it's a given that all these are happening with condoms one because we don't want to catch age and two 0.99
00:15:36.200 we don't want to catch myocarditis i know that is going around lately i don't want to get that
00:15:40.780 with any uh medical no no it's just a it's just a venereal disease actually i i just don't want
00:15:46.720 to get uh you know whatever whatever you can contract from a dead body is like i don't know 0.88
00:15:52.360 what what is that i'm not fucking these people if they're dead why are we going with that 0.99
00:15:57.220 you would never never doesn't matter who it is 1.00
00:16:01.100 beyonce just just died right beside you prime beyonce and you're like that big black ass 1.00
00:16:08.420 there's always an exception to the rule he said he's not fucking any of these girls if they're 1.00
00:16:14.880 dead but we know clint exclusively fucks like 22 year olds and like 22 year old i want my women as 1.00
00:16:20.380 far away from death as possible dude do you know that you know that they fuck like they're dead 1.00
00:16:25.080 they just probably like lay there like clint clint just admitted that he uh fucks uh infants so 1.00
00:16:30.360 i mean i guess the real question is um let's say you're in mid coitus and the lady dies do you finish 0.96
00:16:39.460 yeah do you do yeah probably i think you got well wait a minute i'm not gonna be able to i'm not
00:16:45.400 gonna be able to think through things if you if you have to do another like 50 to 60 strokes 0.99
00:16:49.880 you're a sick fuck at that point wait if she if she dies like right at the beginning you're just like 0.99
00:16:54.260 yeah you're like you're like oh well that's unfortunate yeah but yeah but if she dies 1.00
00:16:57.540 she start kind of like spasming so it kind of like helps you out you know what i mean 0.99
00:17:01.660 you find out you have a necrophilius fetish and your dick gets harder like she dies and you're 0.99
00:17:08.680 just like oh yeah this is what this is gonna be a problem in the future by the way this is a 0.99
00:17:14.500 problem for a future self because i didn't say i'm going prick on uh that person because i think
00:17:20.580 that person has one so no she was very lady like that was actually uh 1.00
00:17:27.300 we're talking about the dead here this is well by the way uh she would actually she's one uh person 0.99
00:17:37.260 who would actually look better if she was cremated if it was just a jar of ash maybe i'll fuck that 1.00
00:17:42.840 and you know you can get like a little piece of bone right in your pee hole okay so you're going 1.00
00:17:46.480 cremated not cream but i can respect that yeah that's right god what a terrible title that is 0.96
00:17:51.940 awful all right bring up the next one title of the show okay at a distance i'm a i'm a yeah
00:17:58.480 is that number there that's harris hilton right but scroll in and you have a long lost relative of
00:18:06.160 joe biden oh she looks worse it is it looks like jill biden it looks like a young it looks like
00:18:11.120 like sorority jill biden wow do you see do you see that number right there clint no that's about 0.95
00:18:19.600 triple what you like 48 yeah she's 48 damn she keeps it together yeah clint you're supposed to 1.00
00:18:27.320 know uh clint she's dead yeah oh shit all right anymore why are we talking about fucking these 1.00
00:18:33.340 people if she's dead that's crazy uh a 48 year old physician uh or excuse me physical education 1.00
00:18:40.240 teacher she died suddenly at her home for no apparent reason the coroners report claims there
00:18:45.500 was no foul play or a community safety issue yet left her cause of death as unknown because it is 0.99
00:18:50.380 unknown and we can't possibly assume no foul play yes i mean that bitch's face looks like honestly 1.00
00:18:55.920 it looks it looks like like i'm gonna put my finger over the hair and that's a dude yeah yeah that's 0.99
00:19:04.340 what this is what i'm saying beautiful hair but the beak is so fucking dude i i think her body is 1.00
00:19:10.680 probably pretty good right like i think she's probably pretty fit too it's that's a deceptive 0.96
00:19:14.540 angle yeah she could have a fucking keg under that that front i don't know like like when when we 1.00
00:19:21.160 zoomed out i was like yeah definitely uh fuck wait what are we doing dick i was like yeah definitely 1.00
00:19:26.820 dick you zoom in a little bit and you see that face there's just no way no god i wish we could 0.99
00:19:31.620 zoom in more like csi style because i mean this this face is egregious yeah it is and she was a teacher 0.99
00:19:38.820 because it looks more like a man i'm gonna go dick 0.99
00:19:41.360 and i'm back in the game 1.00
00:19:46.160 honestly here's my here's my reasoning i want to fuck joe biden 0.99
00:19:52.000 i'm gonna get because he's been fucking us i get it exactly again it's going back to my i will 0.99
00:19:57.260 only spite fuck cole's reasoning is that he can't say that he would fuck any chick who's actually hot 0.99
00:20:02.200 because his wife will be mad in my own bed okay guys it's just kind of crazy how she died because 0.99
00:20:09.040 i thought jill biden was a doctor what's crazy is i think she was a school teacher too because
00:20:16.980 yeah that's a school in the background and i don't know why else they would show it so
00:20:21.280 yes it's physical education teacher so for that reason i will say prick i am not getting involved
00:20:27.200 with teachers at all whoa dead or alive well wait a minute though she's a physical education uh teacher 0.53
00:20:33.220 at a middle school you can see right there does that mean she's a pedophile that no that's a muff 1.00
00:20:38.080 diver dude that's a lesbian i know i know so like uh at at my high school why did she not usually 1.00
00:20:43.700 like if our pe teacher is a woman they are at least two bills two and a half yeah yeah so i 1.00
00:20:50.320 honestly god before before there was there was like this consistent pattern of transitioning people that
00:20:55.440 were kind of gender abstract like the the number one job for those people was pe and uh it's kind of
00:21:03.740 tragic that like now instead of just being like this weird overweight middle-aged white woman they 0.99
00:21:10.000 like just now they're just a dude i can't even do it it's so dark i can't do it it's so fucked up that 0.99
00:21:17.480 we're doing this oh i'm sorry at my high school like cole said uh one of the women's gym teachers was 0.95
00:21:25.300 this massively obese dyke woman who got banned from the women's locker room because uh she was uh 1.00
00:21:33.620 you know what she was doing no tell me no i don't know like yes no she was she was uh she was 0.97
00:21:44.960 creeping and sexually harassing the uh females in the locker room sounds pretty base to me all right 0.80
00:21:51.220 bring up the next one yeah clint's like that's what i do on every oh no no pull it down don't do it
00:21:57.720 no i feel like we need to have this discussion guys we're all adults here
00:22:02.500 listen this is why we can't have the discussion our producer is underage it's fine for him actually
00:22:09.600 this is oh good i'm just saying there's there are loopholes in death right okay next person i guess
00:22:15.860 fine i don't know you're talking about the gap that she has or her teeth fell out 1.00
00:22:20.180 a mother in utah broker silence and revealed that her healthy son developed blood clots in his brain
00:22:25.440 nine days after receiving some we don't know uh nearly a year later another blood clot formed in
00:22:33.240 his right leg and moved to his lungs for no apparent reason fascinating oh so now we have that jawline 0.98
00:22:38.100 though we have a dude this is a fucking chad not chadly enough no no look at that adam's apple he 0.98
00:22:44.860 has like my adam's apple yeah i got one like that yeah dude this is a pretty sexy dude 0.99
00:22:50.120 it transfers to his brain
00:22:52.560 what if this what if this guy is such a chad what if what if he's such a chad that he got the vaccine
00:23:02.460 like on a dare like knowing full well that the vaccine could easily kill him he was like 0.99
00:23:06.600 fucked out i'm gonna battle the vaccine right now why are you saying that we have no idea yeah oh 0.96
00:23:12.440 this could be any reason funny though it'll be really weird if you're like your blood clot come 0.98
00:23:18.240 like wherever you got the injection or something michael says michael says going towards you like 0.96
00:23:23.120 oh shit dude this is grip daddy before he lost all the weight 0.94
00:23:27.140 that's true i was gonna say that uh in college i my uh roommate um one of my best friends in college 0.99
00:23:36.380 they always made fun of my fucking adam's apple he would come up to me randomly and like grab it and 0.99
00:23:41.920 be like how's that fucking goozle like you would like it was a fucking weird i mean it fucking sucked 1.00
00:23:47.520 i always just made fun of for it but now i think it's just you think if you have a adam's apple because 0.99
00:23:51.620 obviously we all have it but like some of it's more submerged and some of it's more protruding
00:23:55.700 do you think that if it's like more protruding that means that you have less of a gag reflex because
00:24:00.100 it like it's further away from i have a terrible gag reflex it's terrible how do you know that what
00:24:05.900 are you doing i mean like i've gagged how do you know that what are you doing i mean just uh brushing
00:24:10.440 my teeth look just be honest with me on how you know it and we can move on i mean it was a cylinder
00:24:17.040 that went in my mouth okay i can't it was just a cylinder it was a cylinder i wish you could be more
00:24:22.660 specific but it was a cylinder it was attached to a larger body but it was just a cylinder don't ask
00:24:28.020 about what the cylinder is it's weird because i i have i have a big adam's apple but i don't have a
00:24:32.420 gag reflex oh wow how i figured that out i'm good i'm gonna pretend as if i didn't learn that last night
00:24:38.440 stays there you celebrate when 400 000 people watch it you got to do some weird fun stuff with your 0.94
00:24:48.940 friends it's i did i did tell y'all y'all need to jerk off in tim's house look it up dude 400k 0.96
00:24:55.020 all right no that's i'm not gonna i'm not gonna fucking answer that question of course i did all 0.95
00:25:01.500 right i will if i go i'm gonna like wait we didn't vote on this guy this guy proportionally 0.91
00:25:08.660 looks like uh like superman look at his shoulders yeah yeah 100 like i'm look at his neck yeah yeah
00:25:15.520 yeah i'm going dick on this one look at this guy by the way what is his age what was his age before 0.62
00:25:20.500 before we like i said this guy was i mean it was a mother so this guy might i'm assuming he's a day 0.94
00:25:25.760 past 18 let's let's go at least his body is now well he's eternal now yeah he's eternal now
00:25:33.380 he's really relevant he's ageless what are you talking about uh we got uh cj harris
00:25:40.540 oof yeah he's american idol he's an african-american we're gonna have to pass 0.98
00:25:44.980 now i will say it depends on how good his uh how good was his american idol uh i have no idea who this
00:25:55.020 is i i don't know but since they're listing him as an american idol contestant i think he probably
00:25:59.600 went pretty far because like the people that suck like they're i don't think they're gonna refer to 0.97
00:26:03.940 them as that unless it's like william hung i mean if you suck you could still be an american idol 0.98
00:26:08.520 who's who watches this show anyway like is it still going by the way i don't i have no idea i think it
00:26:14.640 probably is still going i watched it like way back when it was like originally on because i liked
00:26:18.460 watching uh simon cowell just shit on everybody it was crazy how much fun for like a season the 0.60
00:26:24.080 talent reality shows are always in style like they will go on forever i don't know adam lambert 0.88
00:26:31.060 adam lambert uh sang the national anthem at my high school graduation we're in the same graduating
00:26:35.680 class wow that's pretty gay yeah well he is gay did you guys he's the lead singer of queen so 0.83
00:26:42.400 obviously he's about to get aids oh here we go here we go here's a guy i don't really oh let's hear 0.95
00:26:46.780 him sing i gotta hear the voice before i decide man let's hear all right let's go
00:26:50.440 the voice of a man who died and he starts rapping that'd be the best i don't even know who these 0.99
00:26:57.080 hosts are now this motherfucker sings country i hate it already yeah a long way from home i'm 0.99
00:27:01.760 auditioning for american oh he's from alabama so i mean this is my my time to be here all right we 1.00
00:27:06.640 could definitely get to the singing he's from alabama he's a cool black right i'd fuck that dude by 0.99
00:27:10.960 the way who is that is that like i don't know who that johnny resnick or some shit who is that 1.00
00:27:15.660 burning through my aching bones oh they're aching now brother 0.98
00:27:21.820 i can feel that clot going to my heart
00:27:30.320 yeah dude singing about being vax injured is pretty uh oh wait we're not supposed to say 0.93
00:27:38.260 that's pretty country i can't fucking believe how hard it is for you to play this game properly 1.00
00:27:43.440 one i'm not gonna fuck him because i'm not gay two interracial marriage is an abomination 1.00
00:27:49.160 no thank you wait i gotta hear i gotta hear what j-lo says first wait please stop this i i'm gonna 1.00
00:27:56.920 lose my mind if i gotta watch anymore so yeah if i've i don't know j-lo would fuck if you watch 0.98
00:28:02.460 american idol you are an npc by the way for real i've made it my mission in life the npc show yeah 0.99
00:28:07.880 i've made my mission in life to not even be in the same the same room when this is playing and you 0.98
00:28:12.160 guys have uh kind of fucked me up here top your mom's in the chat right now by the way i i shout 0.99
00:28:18.540 out to top might be a tranny i'm i'm going dick on that singer by the way black dude you know he's got 1.00
00:28:23.920 a big dick like shout out mom sorry my mom said no you didn't say no last night uh a 45 year old 1.00
00:28:35.380 bbc broadcaster has come forward saying that she suffers a serious stroke two weeks ago severely 0.99
00:28:40.740 impairing her speech okay so she's still with us oh she's just sounds was she with that last guy 0.72
00:28:45.540 but yeah they still put the hashtag died suddenly she's still alive yeah honestly though
00:28:52.360 once you have a speech impediment you're kind of dead to me okay so yeah yeah a woman with a 1.00
00:28:57.940 speech impediment is really dead to me like well no no no actually a woman might be a little bit 1.00
00:29:02.420 better no yeah a man a man with a speech impediment is dead to me that's why he's not on the show
00:29:07.200 right now so yeah i was gonna say shout out to jose yeah that's right yeah jose by the way he's out in
00:29:11.920 the middle of the ocean and missing like the biggest week of the history of the podcast hey um
00:29:16.820 this yeah that's true uh this woman uh yeah the fact that she can't speak is obviously a plus 0.99
00:29:25.080 and and and she has a huge mouth so i have a ginormous mouth she's got some chompers on her 1.00
00:29:32.640 dude this one that's why i think this is a tranny this woman could fit my entire dick and balls in 1.00
00:29:38.200 mouth with no uh effort at all basically basically anyone could do that so any woman could give me 1.00
00:29:46.400 the mythical that's true uh that's awesome i'm going to envy you that raises a good question yeah
00:29:53.000 like is it better i'm going dick in his situation or to be in like a normal person's situation no yeah 0.73
00:29:59.480 like you know how like you know how like the o blood type is a universal donor or whatever i'm a 1.00
00:30:04.340 universal mythical donor hell yeah that's how it works that means you give them out you fucking 1.00
00:30:09.040 retard kind of based it's kind of based look i don't like white women let's start there two 1.00
00:30:18.120 that's a lot of speech impediments no i don't like i mean i sleep with them i just don't like them um 0.92
00:30:23.700 the the speech impediment is just backbreaking here um you know the fact that she can't think 0.99
00:30:29.640 i'm used to that you know white women but uh the i'm just i mean the speech impediment i can't get 1.00
00:30:36.540 past it like jose what the speech impediment is actually tourette's and she's just yelling racist
00:30:41.180 things the entire time oh i'm into it you have me back in you have me back in that is a speech
00:30:45.420 impediment just when i'm at oh they just right back in dude that would be a hilarious side effect she 0.69
00:30:50.680 does look very arian dude dude that's really awesome because she can yell a bunch of racial slurs and 1.00
00:30:55.340 nobody would even know that wouldn't that be the funniest like type of medicine it's like oh by the
00:31:02.520 way uh this one also like you always hear like those like the long list one of the funniest
00:31:07.240 would ever be like may it cause a racist tourette syndrome and like they're like it's just it's
00:31:12.460 like i got the vaccine and then now i just yell like the n-word every day like involuntarily
00:31:17.560 this lady looks like she eats carrots and sleeps outside oh yeah she smells like cabbage 1.00
00:31:22.600 hurry up and die that's right you faggot shit licker i have turrets what are you talking about 1.00
00:31:29.760 i'm done with this anyway credit score no no we can go further with this fucking impersonation of 1.00
00:31:35.900 someone with a speech impediment that's racist you you are not trying hard enough we can go really 0.99
00:31:40.500 deep oh i meant the i meant the whole uh the the whole game itself oh oh that's fine yeah we can be
00:31:47.220 done with the game but like i need everyone to do a racist trope but with a speech impediment
00:31:53.760 i just want to say that 13 percent of the population commits
00:32:00.880 55 percent
00:32:04.920 violent crimes 0.99
00:32:08.160 that was too good i knew you could fucking bring it bring it home brother that was too good 0.98
00:32:17.460 i feel like it would just be redundant and disrespectful to jose 0.97
00:32:21.020 that's right
00:32:25.160 but i still
00:32:28.920 notice statistics 1.00
00:32:31.100 my pain may be broken but i can still do math you fucking jew 1.00
00:32:42.720 oh god 1.00
00:32:44.260 that's just crypt daddy every day by the way if you don't follow crypt daddy on twitter 0.99
00:32:47.860 crypt daddy's such a fucking man 0.99
00:32:49.580 it's literally a broken man 1.00
00:32:52.140 just yelling at god 1.00
00:32:54.520 uh and so my god is just black people to him he's he's incapable of giving a fuck because his body 1.00
00:33:00.020 doesn't give a fuck he's just oh yeah well i can't remember what he said the other day he was 1.00
00:33:04.100 like um he saw something he was like um i have a life debilitating disease and i'd still rather 0.98
00:33:10.180 have that than watch whatever this is or something like that it's so fucking fun i love it 0.80
00:33:15.280 uh did you want to get to the mailbag i know we have a couple in there and then uh i don't know 0.99
00:33:20.260 do we have any more uh prick or dick here no i'm done with that shit well i think i think 0.99
00:33:24.340 we wanted to go top story next right yeah whatever i'm in the mailbag let's run the 1.00
00:33:30.640 mailbag and then we'll get into you're gonna wait until your mom goes to sleep
00:33:32.980 yeah we'll do the mailbag and then i i also have a couple of uh a couple of things
00:33:39.100 if you want little dicky what's up perfect volume i love it go ahead that's right
00:33:46.660 all right so lorenzo asks a girl i'm talking to told me to come to her work tonight and paying 0.99
00:33:54.140 her during her break should i do that or watch tower gang with the lads oh bro all the way 0.87
00:34:00.580 bros before you're asking this question you're already here no no no here's what i'll say why 1.00
00:34:06.520 not do both why not share your cock with a friend and share your gay friends with your friend okay 1.00
00:34:12.280 that's right at the same time that's i mean i i'm fucking solomon over here split it down the middle 1.00
00:34:17.880 both are gonna happen at the same time yeah if you're not taking a chick down while you're in 0.97
00:34:21.760 the chat during tower gang then what the hell are you doing guys he's lying to us he's lying he's
00:34:26.640 clearly lying i've seen lorenzo i know what he looks like he's lying i don't know he looks like 0.98
00:34:32.260 kenny g kenny g gets a lot of poo and i'm pretty sure he gets a lot of he can play the fuck out of 0.98
00:34:36.820 a sax yes she's not my friend she's pretty mid doug so you're so you're here you just 1.00
00:34:43.680 what the fuck dude dude tower gang that's our new endorsement tower gang better than mid puss 1.00
00:34:51.120 i gotta say we have the best fucking fans though like you had just an open lane to the basket of 1.00
00:34:57.340 some mid bitch and you're like nah tower gang i just don't but i don't even believe him you guys 1.00
00:35:02.900 believe this shit i do why would you lie i'm gonna give him the benefit of the doubt lorenzo 1.00
00:35:08.080 don't disrespect my fucking mailbag with your lies all right 1.00
00:35:10.980 our listeners are fucking chads okay they're going out there they're slaying crushing puss man 1.00
00:35:18.600 the fact that that's the funniest thing ever just really goes to show yeah maybe not maybe 1.00
00:35:31.460 there's 45 people right now watching live none of them are getting pussy even the ones with pussy 1.00
00:35:37.080 they're not getting dick they just this is very sad really but hey keep tuning in guys 1.00
00:35:42.500 yeah they're they're just hoping to get it from us actually next one diggy all right michael asks 0.99
00:35:50.580 fuck mary kill greta toonberg kamala harris and what i assume is the new velma oh oh oh like the 1.00
00:35:59.700 so we're talking about the actual character or uh mindy kaling not the not the good one the the woke 0.97
00:36:06.460 one yeah that's i say the cartoon character or mindy kaling herself because yeah yeah we're talking 0.98
00:36:12.480 about a fictional character here my wife came in here and she was saying my vagina feels bruised 1.00
00:36:29.740 and i don't know if you know how to bruise a vagina it's only with a fucking big ass dick 1.00
00:36:33.420 all right no you can use an object of some kind some other object so tyrone did a great fucking job 1.00
00:36:40.080 because i know that shit wasn't for me shout out my wife's boyfriend 1.00
00:36:46.740 my wife's boyfriend fuck what's the what's he called is it don travious don tavious or some shit 0.99
00:36:53.940 yeah that's right yeah something like that yeah don tavious don tavious yeah yeah that you know what 0.99
00:36:59.940 let's pause the mailbag right this leads me into the story i was gonna tell all right all right
00:37:04.380 i do we're putting you on hold michael sorry mike oh or whatever dicky go away for a second
00:37:10.700 um all right so in the chat i forgot who sent it there was a a pretty good looking midget right 1.00
00:37:16.520 uh maybe it was me that sent it
00:37:19.240 i think it was jose it was probably jose
00:37:23.120 oh it was jose yeah because this this midget had all the like the right proportions but was 1.00
00:37:28.720 like three foot six or something like that and yeah so she's perfect for me yeah well this is the 0.92
00:37:33.940 thing you could feel tall that'd be dope that's right yeah and and i was like i said oh think about 0.94
00:37:39.380 how big her tiny little hands will make your junk look and then toad responds toad obviously having 0.99
00:37:45.260 no idea what the anatomy of human beings are said yeah but think about how tiny her vagina is 1.00
00:37:51.360 that's right well it doesn't really work that way like i think i did you say clint that they 0.99
00:37:58.280 might have like blown out pussies i'm not sure that was my contribution to this very intellectual 0.94
00:38:03.420 conversation yes wait what wait what's the what's the what's the science behind that 0.99
00:38:09.520 yeah i'd like to know that too there there really is no science to it if you've slept with enough
00:38:14.160 women you haven't uh you you learn eventually that that the size of the woman can be extraordinarily 1.00
00:38:21.340 deceptive when it comes to the vaginal cavity okay but but you wouldn't say that like just in 0.99
00:38:26.400 general a smaller woman will have a smaller pussy no no i don't think i mean i mean maybe like on a 1.00
00:38:34.120 real fat bitch has all that weight just crushing it down see this is why i think jose jose is into the 1.00
00:38:40.600 fat bitches because he's like oh he wants he wants like he feels the walls like it has the walls are 1.00
00:38:46.340 closing in it's that like uh radios of the lost ark where it's just like oh so so with the fat so 1.00
00:38:52.160 with a fat chick the fat also applies to like the inner walls of her pussy those become fat so they 1.00
00:38:58.040 actually become tighter i think the outer the outer i'm gonna say i'm gonna say having uh tragically 0.99
00:39:06.340 slept with a few fat women i've had i've had some i've had some uh cavernous uh yeah not not always 0.76
00:39:15.580 tight just because they're fat unfortunately that would be a real perk if uh if fat women had that 1.00
00:39:21.260 going for them but they don't but top what was your story about this midget yeah yeah yeah this is 0.99
00:39:26.520 what no no i didn't fucking midget i just thought it was funny that toad toad said that and then it 0.97
00:39:32.060 reminded me so that mom if you're listening just turn turn the phone off please shut it off 0.96
00:39:36.780 wow what's happening right now after after uh my wife had her first kid right uh this kid but my
00:39:44.280 daughter she's like she's all over the place and she came out like violent and she ripped her 1.00
00:39:50.040 so it yeah it's i think it's called an episiotomy where they have to like either they cut her or 1.00
00:39:55.540 she ripped her when they came out so the doctor goes in there the baby like clawed her on the way 1.00
00:40:00.020 out no like when they're coming out they just like you know one of these and like rip it up and 0.99
00:40:05.180 did they go full starfish on the way out what a piece of shit yeah full starfish jesus every every 0.99
00:40:11.100 time i look at her i go fucker anyway everything was all good before this as she comes out the doctor 1.00
00:40:18.240 either cuts her i don't remember because like i think i think the doctor might have had to cut 0.96
00:40:21.560 her to take the baby out because it was like it was it was a crazy thing and then uh so i'm there
00:40:26.160 and the baby's out and the doctor goes like this he goes got you bro and i was like oh no so i'm like
00:40:33.940 i don't know what that means he's like this thing he sews it up it's called a doctor stitch
00:40:38.880 i've heard about this i've heard about this i didn't think it was real that's
00:40:42.560 yes so the doctor stitches is one extra stitch more than it should be to really get that thing 1.00
00:40:50.900 wow this guy's amazing wow so so your wife gave birth and actually got a tighter pussy out of it 1.00
00:40:56.440 is what you're saying stop talking about his wife's pussy you fuck yeah i can't believe you 1.00
00:41:00.080 i'm allowed to talk about it me and the other 45 people that are watching this and maybe 500 that 1.00
00:41:06.500 will watch at the end so shut the fuck up toad now let me pay extra for a second stitch that's 0.98
00:41:13.420 really what i want to know here's the thing i'm here to warn you guys i don't know what happened 0.99
00:41:17.620 with elizabeth cole and all this stuff but it seems fine so don't so he did his little doctor stitch and
00:41:23.780 he gives me the wink and the nod fine does he does like shit's all cool or like it almost made me 0.98
00:41:30.980 what a creepy fuck by the way it's weird yeah the doctor's just like you're gonna like this that i 0.99
00:41:35.760 just yeah i'm like i'm like well what do you think i do you think i can't fill that up like 1.00
00:41:40.580 you're like you're like you want to ask me some questions before you go tightening up something
00:41:45.480 that i don't need tight i you know what i don't think it didn't need all right so i think he either
00:41:50.820 either over tightened or whatever it was but it made our lives hell so like we waited for however
00:41:56.960 many months to have sex however many weeks right this is the most clever way to humblebrag i have 0.99
00:42:01.840 ever heard no that that's the thing though python of a slong dude so clint but clint my dick was in 0.99
00:42:07.460 your mouth like yesterday so you know it's not like crazy it's just it's nice but this guy i don't 0.99
00:42:15.460 know what he did but he did his extra little thing and it was just like it was painful it made
00:42:20.960 things so horrible we had to get like dilators to like loosen it was it was a it was like she had
00:42:28.480 a moussey it was crazy this was i'm telling you it's a six month six month process and i go to her
00:42:34.120 to the to with the tour gi gyn and we see the doctor again and he's like you know now i'm gonna get out
00:42:40.140 for you bro he's like yeah he's stepping you up on the way in and you're like you ruined my life 0.97
00:42:44.100 motherfucker he's like come here let me get some straight up he was like he's like yeah yeah i took care 1.00
00:42:48.740 of you right and i was like no you motherfucker you didn't take care of me i had sex in months 1.00
00:42:52.740 because anyway that's my story and it just reminded me toad reminded me be like with his just complete 0.99
00:42:59.080 misunderstanding of what a vagina is or how this stuff works of how my life was ruined a couple 1.00
00:43:04.420 years ago i'll say i'll say this uh so elizabeth did have a tear she said it in there but we had a 0.98
00:43:10.220 woman doctor so i'm obviously she was not gonna do some barbaric shit like the doctor wasn't like i got 1.00
00:43:15.980 you bro my wife's doctor like like his soda vagina in and then binded her feet too is like 1.00
00:43:22.540 i got you bro she'll never leave out by the way it's like i have some of those hijabs in the back 1.00
00:43:31.160 you want one of those too i got he's like you know we're not supposed to do this anymore but
00:43:35.840 i have been researching lobotomies and i could really take care of her her speech capability if
00:43:40.940 you want me to that's like she talks back i can make her a lot more agreeable with you 1.00
00:43:44.500 this bitch is gonna be dumb and tight as a motherfucker you wouldn't do it be really tight 1.00
00:43:50.680 it's gonna be painful for her but she ain't gonna talk back with this lobotomy all right you can 1.00
00:43:54.340 you can tear that shit up she won't even know you imagine you go in to give birth and you come 0.99
00:43:58.860 out with a fucking spike in your head like what is this doctor doing incredible oh my god i had like 1.00
00:44:04.540 this struggle of like did is this a bad doctor or does he think i have like a like a pencil dick 1.00
00:44:10.420 he's probably yeah it is disrespectful on a number of levels it is right yeah it's weird 0.83
00:44:16.880 yeah i don't know it is you know it is it is but i still think i would probably be like yeah i'm
00:44:23.680 probably yeah i'd like to find out by the way he's 100 a pro yeah yeah but he's also a creepy 0.99
00:44:28.800 fucker though your homie's gonna look out with for you even if he thinks you have a small dick see 1.00
00:44:32.980 here's the thing here's the thing if you if you ask the husband and he says yeah go for it that 1.00
00:44:38.300 sounds good you don't when you're done give a little fucking like yeah gotcha the doctor uh 0.98
00:44:45.240 here's a real question though here's a real question would you like in the doctor said he's 0.99
00:44:50.740 like if i'm him i would rather be the puss be too tight than way too loose so that's his mind he's 0.83
00:44:58.000 like i'm just gonna go on the conservative path of like i'll just make sure and at least like 0.93
00:45:03.960 real yeah yeah and it could be like your mom
00:45:09.000 the doctor was actually ron paul
00:45:13.900 he took the conservative path oh this is how this is how ron paul got elected it was the ron paul 0.95
00:45:21.740 he gave so many doctor stitches that all the dudes in the town were like this is a fucking hero right 0.91
00:45:26.400 this is the guy right here oh we lost clint that would be so fucking funny if ron paul was he was 0.94
00:45:35.160 doing that for years and like that was that's the stuff that's actually in the ron paul newsletters
00:45:39.980 that's actually the bad part like all the racist stuff is fine it's actually him 0.79
00:45:43.500 mutilating for girls women's bodies is the problem what the uh sorry we totally screwed michael's uh 0.75
00:45:49.540 mailbag question up but it was greta thunberg yeah oh top's gone all right it was greta uh
00:45:55.800 kamala harris and velma the cartoon character the new one i would assume it would be the new one 0.96
00:46:03.120 okay yeah so so she's indian what we're gonna do what i what i would say is fuck velma it's a cartoon 1.00
00:46:09.580 character you never have to worry i mean like she goes away she after the season yeah that's the 1.00
00:46:15.040 funniest fucking shit uh you you fuck the cartoon character yeah i have to agree with that because 0.99
00:46:20.600 they're it's consequence free and it's consequence free there's no point in killing her have a cartoon 1.00
00:46:25.160 baby like who fucking cares like well velma you can abort a cartoon baby right they're not real yeah 0.99
00:46:30.300 cartoon babies and black babies are the same i think oh my god if you ask pro choices they'd say 1.00
00:46:39.020 anything in the in the womb is is not real velma is a black cartoon character too so you got you're 0.98
00:46:45.680 checking all the boxes no she's an indian character yeah yeah whatever that's what makes it so much 0.97
00:46:49.720 worse i mean as much as i have a distaste for black people indian women jesus christ uh dicky can you 0.99
00:46:55.840 bring up each of the women here uh wait so so there are two of these women are indian then because 1.00
00:47:01.180 kamala harris is also in there so oh god she's black black so she isn't no she isn't she's indian 1.00
00:47:07.660 jamaican she's west west indies and jamaican she identifies as black though clint show some respect 0.58
00:47:12.900 yeah no i refuse and that's the thing is i would marry yeah okay so that's the new
00:47:17.800 yeah yeah cole is correct about this yeah actually my name is black mary kamala harris 0.98
00:47:23.560 because she gives good enough blow jobs to get to vice president that's true and she has a ton of 1.00
00:47:31.620 money well look and power so you can use that to your advantage this is real easy i am fucking 0.99
00:47:39.380 kamala because there's no way she's not good i know that's a gross thing to think about yeah but 0.95
00:47:44.140 there's no way she's not good that's true i don't like that that she she does the mythical 0.99
00:47:51.280 like that's the only way oh for sure vice president like it that's how she got her way through black 1.00
00:47:56.280 eyes to the top she can definitely mythical me oh yeah but all her competition was just like 0.99
00:48:02.280 children so i mean she definitely had more experience than that and they killed they kill 0.88
00:48:08.900 those kids out when they turn 17 anyway yeah the reason i can't marry her even though the sex would 1.00
00:48:15.120 be great i'm sure is because the laugh good god the laugh by the way we should all agree we're 0.93
00:48:20.780 killing red of thunberg right we have to i don't know i guess we have to but but top
00:48:25.740 so now i'm marrying a cartoon my baby's crying and my wife can you please so i can't really
00:48:29.860 uh yeah yeah go do it um so top uh brings up an interesting point though because i was gonna say 0.98
00:48:35.700 you gotta kill kamala because she is obviously the one that we'd want actually gone but she deserves 1.00
00:48:42.020 it but if kamala has been around children uh this much that means she has mommy milkers probably 1.00
00:48:46.740 probably still lactating so i'm gonna go fuck kamala then pull up that picture of gretta getting 1.00
00:48:52.660 pulled out by the security there because how old is she now she's got to be uh 18 19 18 so how old 0.99
00:48:59.700 is that in downs years that's probably 35 yeah what is it is the tism multiplier does it double
00:49:10.540 yeah because they have shorter lifespans like dogs that's how it's it yeah right so this picture you
00:49:15.960 can't see it but i was looking and she's donked out right she's got a little donk there yeah she's got a 1.00
00:49:20.960 little dumper so this is conflicting look at how pleasant she looks i like this that's actually 0.99
00:49:29.300 the best picture of her i've ever seen yeah dude look at that look at that camel's hump right there 1.00
00:49:34.000 it looks like she's got a little diaper on there like 1.00
00:49:37.920 why is she so content you know what this is the first time a man or men have touched her so she's
00:49:48.320 just like on cloud cloud nine this looks like it's photoshopped why is she so content well you know you
00:49:56.800 know she's she's in the same position uh right there as uh that megan hall check was or whatever her name 1.00
00:50:02.000 is no idea what that means i don't know who that is the tennessee female cop still no oh oh okay 1.00
00:50:10.220 that's a plain that's a plain face looking bitch that that uh the one who was gang banged by all of 1.00
00:50:14.880 the uh cops in her department yeah we should we should discuss that story i don't even know what 1.00
00:50:21.200 the story people were making memes about and i was like so a white girl fucked all the cops in her 1.00
00:50:25.340 yeah i was like why is this newsworthy yeah i just assume that that happens all the time yeah 0.97
00:50:30.760 right yeah and well they got caught and they all got fired because they were having like
00:50:35.240 hot tub parties where like all the dudes are banging her and stuff and one of the dudes is a huge black 1.00
00:50:40.200 dude which is hilarious in uh contrast to her actual husband who was like a fat like white dude 0.94
00:50:46.380 and the white dude was basically like yeah but i'm still staying with her oh that's right he said he
00:50:52.240 would forgive her right he's like something like that like i just want you back babe yeah this is
00:50:56.900 why that's why we do this show like hopefully someone like him will watch it and then they'll
00:51:00.620 come to their senses that's really what the show is doing it's just shaking up the the modern red-headed 0.98
00:51:05.820 white man that's right making him violent violent extremist so wait we're so wait do we do we 0.97
00:51:13.020 actually agree do we agree that we're fucking uh kamalas oh wait by the way i was telling clint in the 0.99
00:51:18.260 airport before we flew out to to timcast i did meet some guy that's like some normie dude and i 0.90
00:51:24.260 think i radicalized him with like just a couple of words it was wonderful yeah he left out of there
00:51:29.820 like conflicted his his retorting story was so funny i turned to him i was like i was like dude
00:51:34.820 what's up paul you know what paul sorry you're here what's up dude oh this is gonna be jarring
00:51:41.660 brace yourself paul is our he's our demographic that we're reaching we're reaching a middle-aged 0.94
00:51:46.760 white men with like auburn to red hair we're trying to teach you how to not be gay so hang 1.00
00:51:52.820 out here paul bear with us for a little bit we're going through this mailbag don't say hi to ofer 0.93
00:51:58.560 ofer is not a good person just listen to it basically everyone in the chat don't trust them
00:52:04.960 they're all dangerous his name is ofer so he's uh an untrustworthy uh one of them one of those 0.75
00:52:11.340 people oh jesus yeah you have no idea what you got into and you can't you can't even sign off 0.99
00:52:15.980 and just just for even though rumbles based as a motherfucker i'm still gonna make it very clear 1.00
00:52:20.480 the fuck marry kill game there was no federal crime declared by toad when he said that obviously 0.99
00:52:25.820 the one that deserves to be killed is x we didn't mean that i never said that yeah it's hypothetical 1.00
00:52:31.560 it's hypothetical so uh next one dicky all right um jesus christ dude what's going on with you 0.98
00:52:39.780 yeah fix your mic i'm just trying i'm just trying to pick the ones that are the best and uh novum 0.99
00:52:45.680 uh asks what is the most bizarre thing that you've stuck your dick in i'll go first your mom wait hasn't 0.99
00:52:52.560 he already asked this question before if they're if they're in the chat right now block them no of them 1.00
00:52:57.740 fuck you man i'm pretty sure he he already asked this before and he just uh asked this one just 0.99
00:53:04.160 he just he just wanted to say he fucked my mom again i didn't you know it was funny the first time 1.00
00:53:08.280 because i walked in on it but you know you don't have to bring it up all the time look man every 0.99
00:53:12.200 everybody is fuck clint's mom it's uh i'm gonna say a ripped pillowcase i'm not proud of it 0.99
00:53:18.220 a ripped pillowcase but it is what it is chop off your left arm to get with my mom my mom's a smoke 1.00
00:53:23.700 show don't you disrespect fuck all right all right um i i don't like even i'm definitely not 0.99
00:53:29.040 doxing my mom on this even even as a weird like teenager though like i would always just use like 0.99
00:53:33.920 my hand or something or like the mattress like like i don't know like i think the question for
00:53:39.380 me is more like like where's the weirdest like where's the weirdest part of the mattress
00:53:43.060 jerked off what part of the mattress tote oh like i've like i don't know what do you do to it 0.99
00:53:49.400 in between like where that where it lays on top of the yeah i've done i've done that you fuck it 0.99
00:53:54.940 like a sandwich yeah dude that's fucking creepy as fuck i've never done that yeah i've never done that 1.00
00:54:01.400 for real no no i'm asking you seriously you don't like the cock sandwich tote i need to know do you 0.99
00:54:13.000 really do that yeah because that thing is i've done that i've also done that you know you know 0.99
00:54:19.960 where you like you know because my dick has like a nice like upward bend to it right so you can also 0.97
00:54:24.420 just do like the you know like kind of fucking mental note for the mattress horizontally you know 1.00
00:54:28.940 you can do that too dude why do you fuck your mattress though i always did it a few times and 0.99
00:54:35.040 wood on that part yeah the base of it is like hard and by the way at least at least once i did it uh 1.00
00:54:41.160 when my college roommate was in the room so was he watching jerking off no no he was asleep it was 1.00
00:54:48.020 dark i was like he's not gonna know now he does you're a real piece of shit this is unbelievable 1.00
00:54:53.820 wow why the bed though does it feel better i don't know because it was there 1.00
00:54:58.680 damn dude well i don't know because like i don't know like it's almost like tantric like 0.99
00:55:04.880 it's almost like torturing your dick like putting all that like weight on it and whatever it's like 1.00
00:55:08.780 i don't know so you you won't buy a hooker but you'll fuck your own bed yeah it doesn't cost 1.00
00:55:16.140 anything see i was hoping he would say something like yeah well i'd lay on the bed and then the 1.00
00:55:20.900 friction of the mattress and i'd be like that's what i that's what i was weird but fine 0.96
00:55:24.820 no like i've done that yeah like that's it though you haven't fucked anything else weird 0.99
00:55:29.460 kids no 0.99
00:55:32.340 no no you look you look like a sheep guy um my weirdest i don't know i gotta think about this 0.99
00:55:42.300 yes thank you michael somebody needs to marry michael that was fucking brilliant um all right 0.97
00:55:52.320 i'm gonna do it so all right i'm pretty sure she's married no yeah i said uh i said a pillow 0.88
00:55:58.280 a pillow that had a hole in it so basically the fluff inside of there i've done that before i'm not
00:56:04.560 i'm ashamed of that but the pillow was tops fluffer i gotta be honest i'd never like the only thing i've 0.98
00:56:10.680 ever done weird is women and like weird women yeah like the weirdest pussy yeah like yeah like i 1.00
00:56:17.380 don't fuck weird things that's why it's why it's why they call it strange man i mean that's arguable 0.99
00:56:26.360 i almost respect it more of you're like i was starving i had to eat my bed you never have to 0.99
00:56:32.200 fuck your bed you always have your hand it's such a weird decision to make it doesn't feel better 1.00
00:56:37.100 does it feel better than your hand well i don't know what if you what if you uh like fuck part of 1.00
00:56:41.300 the mattress and eat the other part of the mattress so you use all of the mattress like a 0.99
00:56:44.800 native american you know what i mean yeah you're loving the whole mattress i mean yeah it's going
00:56:49.960 indian on it
00:56:50.880 so clint you're saying you've never done anything weird like this you've always just like 0.97
00:56:57.980 like you're like i'm oh man i'm like a young kid i'm really horny i was a teenager damn it 0.69
00:57:01.960 i've always just used my hand or a girl right yeah like over not use a girl 0.98
00:57:09.400 99.99 of the time it's the hand so you aren't answering my goddamn very direct question which 0.99
00:57:17.800 was why did the fucking mattress and box spring feel better than your hand 0.98
00:57:22.440 yes why yeah why like what is what about i don't understand is it because like you're not doing 0.98
00:57:32.080 why did you only do it a handful of times why don't you do it right now i don't understand
00:57:36.040 because it was more painful wait it felt better but it was more painful oh you got problems i can't
00:57:43.660 wait for the show to grow bigger because the there'll be girls that are that are gonna watch 1.00
00:57:47.820 this and be like oh you're into that i'll fly out to boston administrator uh clearly i mean the fact
00:57:56.640 that he says at least one i'm sure he bought stock in fleshlight long ago the i only went out to get a
00:58:02.520 fleshlight when they released the uh dan crenshaw eye socket one i had to go get one at that point 0.83
00:58:07.680 but other than that i did not have one did you use it yeah no god damn it no i don't have a 0.98
00:58:15.040 fleshlight i think the most like inanimate object i ever fucked was like a chick that was hard of 1.00
00:58:19.620 hearing she didn't really feel human because she was like you know so i've never had a fleshlight 0.83
00:58:27.360 or a sex doll or anything like that so let's let's be clear about that we're talking about like when i
00:58:31.440 was a teenager i would never spend money on a fleshlight or i have my bed that i can spend 250
00:58:36.220 dollars on a super chat that no one read jesus christ that's right now my mom saw it and she was like 0.98
00:58:41.800 what an idiot no yeah you don't even know you don't know the half of it man look i'm uh 0.95
00:58:45.700 i'm toad what did it say what did the super chat say yeah it said uh finally seeing the tower gang 1.00
00:58:52.460 uh boys on timcast is incredible mythical even towers erect all right all right okay i like it there
00:59:00.560 was a lot of inside jokes there and you know it was weird because i know there was super chats for us
00:59:04.380 and they didn't read any of them which made it seem as if we have no fans which was kind of sad
00:59:07.920 uh but i appreciate the support said also yeah tim the whole time was like oh there's another
00:59:12.540 super chat about stephen crowder let's read it i was like can we please stop talking about this 0.69
00:59:18.160 homosexual with no children holy shit dude i think i have to tell this story right now because like 0.98
00:59:23.720 almost just happened again like that was weird like this rush top knows what i'm about to say here 0.99
00:59:29.780 yeah so on saturday on saturday you guys remember when i like mentioned like in the chat i'm like
00:59:36.800 yeah like i don't know what just happened i think i'm fine whatever oh yeah so right so i have a
00:59:42.800 squatty potty and this is i'm still endorsing the squatty potty this has nothing to do with the fact 0.99
00:59:47.400 that it's a squatty potty so you know you have proper obvious that you have a form when you shit 0.99
00:59:52.320 so you're you're squatting when you shit so when you shit you know your colon is straight and you have 0.99
00:59:56.780 the shit it comes out straight like all in one piece but i'm like really efficient with this and i 1.00
01:00:01.840 shit very like aggressively like i put a lot of power behind that shit so i so i was doing that 0.99
01:00:09.980 this is what happened this is what happened on saturday and it was like it was like a wider 0.99
01:00:14.760 harder because i just had popeye's chicken so it was like a wider harder hold on so my my mom just
01:00:21.640 sent me a screenshot of of your super chat for 250 and she said lol
01:00:26.380 all right so so this is like this is a wider and it like took longer for it to come out
01:00:33.780 it's all it's it's by the way i just want to stop you real quick and just say that's kind of really 0.97
01:00:37.200 funny to me that the uh the biggest hardest widest shit you ever had was after you ate some black 1.00
01:00:41.360 people food it was like shitting a big black dick out of my ass it's like it's like god's preparing 1.00
01:00:47.980 your sphincter for like what's coming next yeah you need a bunch of asian food you have the 1.00
01:00:52.300 lightest shit in your life like about pressing charges on him for jerking off to the threesome 1.00
01:00:57.600 so that this could very well be your future toad wow we have we have hard evidence video evidence 1.00
01:01:02.020 right so so what happened though was it was like the shit you admitted to it twice actually 0.99
01:01:06.220 it was all it was all voluntary so the shit uh was taking longer and it was wider and it started to 0.98
01:01:14.940 become like a strain and it was taking like like several seconds for this to happen it usually is 0.93
01:01:20.340 it's quicker than that usually like two seconds maybe this was taking at least like 10 and so 0.63
01:01:25.340 what happened was mid shit i passed out on the toilet i lost consciousness and i think it was 0.98
01:01:34.120 probably for like several seconds did you fall did you fall off the toilet no yo yo my favorite 0.99
01:01:41.300 hold on hold on hold on hold on i'm telling you if you had never woken up and the fucking corner had 1.00
01:01:49.160 to come in and she died suddenly pop eyes chicken size turd that's half hanging out of your ass 1.00
01:01:56.060 oh god i would have loved that story just hey for the sake of the show could you could you have that 0.99
01:02:00.780 happen oh oh yeah go refer to uh our episode it's we have a short called uh giga chad tote go watch
01:02:09.120 it 20 minutes you'll never get it back you're not at all equipped for this story uh honestly you should
01:02:13.960 you should stick through the rest of this episode if you think he can handle it then go check that
01:02:18.360 because i'm telling you i'm telling you brother it's so it's so wild you're not prepared and
01:02:23.500 honestly paul i'm looking at you right now the shirt your merch that you're wearing we got some
01:02:27.820 stuff you're not ready you gotta buy it buy a better shirt put that on and then watch this clip 0.99
01:02:32.920 it'll change your life oh my god the elvis shit this is the elvis shit you almost died you 1.00
01:02:39.440 almost going out like the fucking king man like yeah this is the elvis shit like that would have 1.00
01:02:44.460 been based and i do enjoy uh you know like the bacon banana peanut butter combinations so uh 0.99
01:02:49.600 wait wait so you passed out like by the way uh if yeah if you did die the corner came in
01:02:55.440 they would call that they would you would get down on the uh sudden death twitter by the way
01:02:59.920 i wouldn't i'm not and i and i but they wouldn't know they wouldn't know for the record yeah i would
01:03:05.060 pass that's what i was gonna say toad what do you think we would say if you let's say you did die 1.00
01:03:09.740 suddenly somehow i don't know suddenly do you think we'd fuck your your cadaver what do you 1.00
01:03:15.100 think go read definitely would the rest of you probably wouldn't yeah i think that's right yeah 1.00
01:03:21.040 i'd say it's a strong the only thing i would say is you're small and i could like just kind of 0.97
01:03:26.980 gorilla fuck you however i wanted to and so for that like uh i don't know just that novelty i might do 0.99
01:03:35.640 it just because i mean i've been working out you're you're you're about what i can do you 0.99
01:03:40.400 you know i can deadlift way more than you he would be dead so it's it's about it's about a
01:03:45.480 domination thing yeah i i uh i'm gonna have to pass just simply because if you can't pass
01:03:51.540 taco bell is in our you're definitely not taking this okay this was extreme because i had been like
01:03:56.900 not eating shit at all for a while and then it was like i don't know football was on i'm like i'm 0.96
01:04:01.960 getting some fucking popeye's chicken and that happened how long were you out brother i want to 0.99
01:04:07.640 know several seconds but it was at least several seconds i don't really know because i know that 0.98
01:04:13.580 i was out and then i came to and i was still on the toilet oh wow yeah oh so you didn't fall 0.82
01:04:19.560 off the toilet you were still yeah you did you just continue shitting were you just like yes 0.92
01:04:24.040 okay anyway did you finish it did you finish it yeah it still came out in one piece too there 0.97
01:04:34.180 wasn't even a pinch where it was squatty potty baby was it from the pay our new sponsor squatty
01:04:41.360 body this is the most this is the most uh like i wonder if you can sponsor us ad read i've ever
01:04:49.720 heard in my life did you like so you you just like it was that hard like do you i'm just so confused 0.84
01:04:58.680 about how you can pass out while shitting were you accurately pushing that hard that you just like 0.98
01:05:03.000 cut off like all the blood was going to your anus yeah i think so respect steven 0.99
01:05:11.080 no here honest to god the thing that bothers me most about this of all the fucked up things in 0.99
01:05:17.140 this story is that you didn't fall off the toilet like wow squatty body that doesn't make any sense 0.99
01:05:23.460 i was sitting so i don't know it's like i still have a fucking upper torso that would just be like 0.98
01:05:28.440 i'm out i think i i think it just kind of like i kind of just went back a little bit 0.87
01:05:32.620 he's got he's got those like those
01:05:38.040 join us toad unless you have friends named cory people named cory can go to the white castle
01:05:48.040 i don't know what that means but hey i don't know uh our our yeah taco bell is our other unofficial
01:05:55.220 sponsor uh sponsored by uh you know the people who give plasma yeah yeah 100 oh what's the name
01:06:03.800 of that episode because people got we got to tell people part of the part of the plasma all right
01:06:07.700 with mark ran i thought about saying that at the beginning of the show as being like listen
01:06:11.420 you're into like what we're doing is not what you saw on tim cast what you saw of clinton top is
01:06:16.520 not what we are at all my wife said my wife said this it's called vagal response the reason you
01:06:22.860 passed out i don't know why exactly she said that but that's why you passed out oh so she had
01:06:27.700 nothing on the whole yeah it's like the vagal uh 0.99
01:06:31.440 passing out she was like i gotta correct this i thought she was talking about her vagina because 1.00
01:06:39.500 i'm an idiot so i was like does this say vaginal response but it says vagal i don't know no vagal 0.97
01:06:44.360 it's it's a vagal nerve like there's like a like when you have um what's it called when you eat 0.97
01:06:49.400 something like brain freeze oh hold on when you have brain freeze it's like a basal vagal reaction
01:06:55.120 okay she's saying she's saying you're gonna die toad
01:06:57.740 you'll be all right it's it's hard to find that out live on air but you know 0.82
01:07:04.160 we'll move on i might die on the air yeah who knows did it did it yeah my a spot yes
01:07:11.200 did it hurt when it was coming out like or was it just all stress from you
01:07:15.440 i bet you came dude did you come i don't know we don't know again we we don't know i don't think
01:07:22.000 he didn't know he was like there's some every every story i was out well every story with this guy 0.97
01:07:26.840 he's like i got this incredible story i'm fucking jerking off i'm watching the face i have no idea 0.99
01:07:31.560 if i came oh i'm passing this enormous fucking turd out of my poo hole my g spot's getting fired up 1.00
01:07:37.020 did i come mystery i have no clue well unlike cole i don't get a boner from shitting so i'm 0.99
01:07:42.620 gonna guess that i did not come but but then again i come when i piss and don't have a boner so i don't 0.90
01:07:47.340 know paul paul once again comments uh who hasn't who hasn't shut off the show which is borderline 0.99
01:07:53.160 miraculous says my first friend to come out as gay tried to convince me anal sex was like that great 0.99
01:07:57.740 feeling you get when you let out a big log you've been holding back all day paul you sound like you're 1.00
01:08:02.240 right for our audience you're gonna enjoy this yeah that's right you're you're fine you should go
01:08:06.280 watch the threesome i think honestly i would i mean does it feel like or is it only because i can 1.00
01:08:12.880 imagine it would suck when it pushes in but when it's coming when they're pulling their dick out 0.99
01:08:17.020 you know in like when it's coming out you can prolapse your anus i think that's trick of the yeah of the 1.00
01:08:22.140 fucking dick coming out of your ass listen that would feel good don't don't give me this eccentric 1.00
01:08:26.780 that's like i think i i want to hear it so hard that i think i almost prolapsed my anus because 1.00
01:08:32.620 stefan's full of stefan's comments so we could say uh i know tim tim is busy right now with 0.99
01:08:37.600 steven you fucking retard don't spell your name like that you fucking retard that's how steven is 1.00
01:08:44.060 spelled it's so supportive and we're just like look at this queer's name what kind of hood rat are you 1.00
01:08:50.300 they're like yeah stefan over there kind of a faggot has a name like that this guy's parents hated him 1.00
01:08:56.360 anyway this faggot tim is probably busy with his own show but he was saying oh how do i know you 1.00
01:09:01.760 guys are offensive blah blah blah i was like well first off you said we can't say offensive shit but 0.99
01:09:05.700 i'm glad that you're here now and you're seeing this stefan because we're about about it we're we 0.98
01:09:11.900 really we do the real shit over here so sign over tim cas and come over literally the the whole reason 0.82
01:09:18.120 that gas digital signed us is because they knew that they had lost their edge it like the race was over 0.96
01:09:24.140 there was a competition going on for years years between tower they wanted to get back to core 0.99
01:09:28.380 values we're core values that's right that's right which by the way fuck that dude who uh who tweets 1.00
01:09:35.140 out going oh look at gas digital trying to go all right wing bitch do we sound right wing do we sound 1.00
01:09:40.260 like some conservatives to you motherfucker yeah people we've been trying to fucking hear is gay 1.00
01:09:44.320 dudes all right that's not right wing that's right that's uh undercover right wing actually most of 1.00
01:09:49.800 those guys are fucking gay yeah we're we're we're the race the race was over all right i thought 0.99
01:09:56.800 it's a race war this dude is a savage he goes i love this over if only dude i love these guys i even 1.00
01:10:03.760 love that that was clever that was clever i yo well you gotta write for us dude yeah dude some of our 0.98
01:10:09.900 commenters have like some of the best shit man oh we're gonna all right i don't want to see luke's 0.97
01:10:14.960 big ass nose on here yeah i don't know wait up we're not ending it wait but i guess i all right 0.99
01:10:19.640 if you want to let's play this on the way out guys yeah we can play it on the way out but i i do 0.82
01:10:23.600 have one other oh yeah you had a pick that i was gonna ask you guys and passed out i shouldn't
01:10:29.640 passed out yeah that was like it was like kind of like like this like serious pressure of it it felt
01:10:34.460 to me almost the same way that i felt when i was getting like a lumbar puncture that time where it
01:10:39.100 felt like it was such extreme pressure this guy has so many ailments because i had a stroke i had
01:10:45.640 a stroke when i was 26 and i was in the hospital for five days and as a last resort to try to figure
01:10:51.300 out what caused it they gave me a lumbar puncture were you normal before which is a spinal tap
01:10:56.300 no no i uh i had no never he's like no not at all no i had the stroke i was so bad off the vaccine 0.93
01:11:04.720 fix me actually it was crazy these doctors these doctors are retarded because it's very obvious that 0.97
01:11:11.160 i had the stroke because i was morbidly obese i was completely sedentary and i was eating total 0.97
01:11:16.480 crap all the time yeah i was like 200 pounds at five six i was gonna die yeah i look just laughing
01:11:26.060 maniacally almost dying pull up my mom's comment because it's perfect right here 0.99
01:11:31.680 paul said toad looks like my first friend that came out as gay
01:11:37.320 paul you look pretty gay so uh yo i like paul i like paul want to come to boston every wednesday 0.99
01:11:44.940 at 9 11 paul don't miss an episode you're funny uh no toad what is your other ailment that fucking 0.99
01:11:49.960 no no this isn't an ailment but i was thinking about it the other day and i'm like 0.97
01:11:54.720 it's amazing i love this i was thinking about it all right steven steven or stefan so some queer 0.83
01:12:01.060 name he says i was abandoned at the local fire department in cincinnati orphaned later adopted 0.97
01:12:05.380 only to end up here getting shit on for the spilling of my face i love it blame your mother stefan 0.95
01:12:12.620 these are i do want to know how we find our people because i didn't even say he seems kind of high 0.99
01:12:17.480 in the comments oh stefan how many times that fucking tim said six million and neither of you two 0.99
01:12:23.980 chuckle fucks and didn't say a fucking thing i was like screaming at my uh my monitor i was like 0.99
01:12:30.320 you gotta say is it funny just laugh is it funny it's funny in that because like it would have been 0.99
01:12:36.820 funny i mean if you it would have been because you can totally pass it off and be like he goes i he
01:12:41.120 was like i think he said i think steven has six million subscribers and i could go see a little high
01:12:45.760 that seems a little high i would have said that it would have been accurate too because it's like
01:12:49.940 5.8 million or there you go and i'm telling you hold on i'm biting the inside of my cheeks clint when
01:12:56.280 he said i'm like this i i believe you but guess what guess what when given the opportunity talking
01:13:01.540 about the daily wire owned by a jew i go i go and we're talking about contracts but doing juice and
01:13:09.420 and i say don't prove kanye right and i get no credit for that none that's true that was a good 0.96
01:13:14.820 one i did laugh no that's true yeah uh clint by the way your uh ass was it shared space with uh 1.00
01:13:21.600 kanye west's ass dude i'm not even kidding i'm not even kidding i i kissed the microphone 1.00
01:13:27.540 did you did you uh did you kiss the chair take a little sniff of that chair that kanye ass 1.00
01:13:36.160 no but i did uh i did take my pants down and i i wanted to go ass to ass with yeah you got to go 1.00
01:13:41.640 bare ass yeah your your ass was in the exact same that six million got me and i was if you read 0.99
01:13:49.640 through my tweets i was like because they were saying things like i think uh ian said one time 0.99
01:13:53.640 like um not everybody can run a company and immediately i could just hear top going like
01:13:58.540 yeah they're called women i was just waiting for it and it never happened that would that would 1.00
01:14:03.340 have been that would have been awesome honestly like when you're when you're in the headspace of
01:14:07.700 serious conversation it is very challenging to just go like now when i'm gonna say something
01:14:12.480 i'm not gonna be in that headspace i'm gonna be throwing out fingers left and right man
01:14:17.480 all this stuff is running through my head and i'm just thinking i'm like i can't ruin this for me
01:14:21.820 yo administrator you are officially my favorite commentator
01:14:28.080 the latent smell of that yussi awesome dude i love it um what the hell oh yeah i was just gonna
01:14:35.380 say uh you could have dropped in uh oh you missed that toad i mean uh cole cole what's the weirdest 0.99
01:14:41.540 thing that you've had sex with thing not just not not just your wife um so i have made the um 1.00
01:14:50.280 the like impromptu pocket pussy of doing the whole like uh two sponges uh plus like latex glove and a 1.00
01:15:00.320 water bottle i've done that wow uh how big is the mouth of that water bottle huh boy dude that's 0.98
01:15:06.580 i didn't need anything very big uh 0.99
01:15:09.580 there wasn't there wasn't no gatorade bottle this is a fucking dasani bottle boy 0.99
01:15:15.600 i got one of those miniature ones too 0.99
01:15:19.660 you're like i want to i wanted to bottom it out 0.99
01:15:22.840 yeah i was like oh yeah i bet you feel me now bitch i'm in your gut 1.00
01:15:27.900 bottom out my wussy water water bottle 1.00
01:15:31.100 that's a black girl's name dasani oh all right yeah that's that's black or whack 1.00
01:15:44.260 how'd you get it room temperature it's impossible dog it's either fucking nuclear or ice cold and 1.00
01:15:53.540 everybody knows there's no in between so you're no no he got it nuclear he fucked it so much he got 0.98
01:15:57.600 the room temperature no and i i think if you just leave the hot pocket out at room temperature 0.99
01:16:02.660 just disintegrate so there's no way room temperature i have used i've used olive oil to jerk off before 0.61
01:16:08.660 um which was a very weird thing that's a challenge 0.98
01:16:12.520 yeah um i'm trying to think of anything else i've i've like that's a spicy a fucking hand to ball 0.97
01:16:21.600 and it's like one of the worst thing i mean i don't know this is just regular just jack off advice 0.99
01:16:26.920 uh don't use like bar soap that thing that shit will fuck you up yeah don't know yeah it'll dry 0.99
01:16:32.840 you out i've had my dick peel because of that uh dude i just use i use my bare hand every single 1.00
01:16:37.980 time no you don't you use a bed sometimes no no he uses a mattress but not just like 1.00
01:16:43.200 so 99.99 percent of the time wait and it's raw every time told so shut up if i told you if i told you 0.97
01:16:50.860 that i jerked off with the mattress what would you think i was doing cole i the only thing i could think 0.99
01:16:55.880 of was in between the mattress and uh yeah in the box it's a dick sandwich bed yeah yeah because 0.99
01:17:01.800 people would fuck their couch that way i'm pretty sure why not the couch the couch would seem more 0.99
01:17:06.340 forgiving yeah just between the two between the two uh the cushions yeah in the mattress yeah no he 1.00
01:17:12.280 ain't doing that dog he's going straight box spring box and you know and you know what he said
01:17:16.360 you know what he said he said because i like it better than my hand because it hurts more 0.99
01:17:21.240 that's what he said i love toad what a sick fuck i just thought about this i could i'm not even 0.99
01:17:26.620 kidding he said i i could have told my parents that i unvirgined the olive oil and i just 0.98
01:17:31.140 that is so good oh my god wonderful because i remember like i was i can't remember i was probably
01:17:47.160 like 16 or something like that and i was home alone and like i was out of shaving cream which 0.86
01:17:51.780 was my bread and butter um and uh i was just like looking around for something to jerk off with 0.73
01:17:57.300 you ever use bread and butter and you could use butter it wasn't just like your regular like
01:18:03.620 little thing it was the sam's olive oil it came in like a 10 gallon jug like yes sam's club pour it
01:18:10.860 out onto my hand and i almost slipped and fell my ass in the uh shower hold on i just want to address 1.00
01:18:16.000 tyler yankee again he's our biggest hater he's a fucking faggot pull that up uh wondering where the 1.00
01:18:20.380 real top lobster was last night tyler if you had any clout about you if you had any like 1.00
01:18:26.580 knowledge of the real world of what happens we walk into tim cast studio immediately there's
01:18:32.780 four jewish lawyers and they tell us sign here sign here initial fingerprint and then they give
01:18:38.840 us a paper and they say you can't say anything here don't even try to be funny don't laugh don't
01:18:43.580 look tim in the eye there's a lot of rules yeah and i'm trying to do this three second tape delay and
01:18:48.460 they say we will cut tape if you make any innuendo there's a guy with a gun in the corner of the room 0.96
01:18:53.620 and he says say something wrong and i'll fucking shoot you this is all new policy since since yay 0.99
01:18:59.160 has been on yes there's an israeli man in the corner dancing i have no idea the entire time 0.98
01:19:05.380 yeah so i mean i don't expect the normies like tyler to understand these kind of things he's just 0.97
01:19:11.120 a podunk lawyer somewhere in like rural california he's an idiot really just family law that's not 0.99
01:19:16.060 even a real lawyer yeah it's like this guy's i wouldn't say he's full of shit but i'd say he's 1.00
01:19:21.100 stupid whatever if you're in the comments if you're in the chat now i wouldn't pay attention 0.99
01:19:24.600 to anything he says anyway but i just wanted to address that put that out there this is a high 0.99
01:19:29.980 pressure moment i'm trying to look out for the homies i'm trying not to die let let let this be
01:19:34.480 a lesson to everyone by the way i will be martyre live i will be killed on tim cast from what they're 0.98
01:19:40.240 saying if there's a man i can't wait if the dance is part of you out live on air fucking awesome but i 0.84
01:19:45.360 just want i just want this to be a lesson to everyone in the comments don't ever come for top 0.97
01:19:49.320 lobster he will end you do you see what he just did to tyler just fucking challenges 1.00
01:19:53.300 top is a maniac he can't even reply right now because he's crippled he's got nothing to say 1.00
01:19:59.140 he's actually a sub he's jerking off right now this is like this is his fantasy that's why he came 0.98
01:20:03.400 from top all right so so you guys want me to hear you guys want to hear what your other physical 0.96
01:20:08.820 ailments go ahead this is not a physical ailment but i was thinking don't see a doctor
01:20:13.140 no because i was thinking you should live in a doctor's office i was thinking because i was in
01:20:17.760 the bathroom and i was taking a piss and kind of you know i wasn't like looking at the dudes next to
01:20:23.660 me who were pissing but i was kind of like sure you weren't noticing sort of that uh like you know
01:20:29.260 how they use that they're all and i'm like thinking like wait like does nobody when you use your fly do 0.98
01:20:36.460 you like do you flop your all like your whole package out like your balls you flop those things right 0.99
01:20:42.680 good question oh do you take your balls out of your fly no i pulled my underwear down to my 1.00
01:20:50.260 ankles you fucking weirdo i loved it in elementary school when the when the kids would do that and 1.00
01:20:59.860 you just be like oh man this kid's got no dad at home it's crazy all right let me tell you a story 1.00
01:21:03.660 in elementary school i was such a a rube idiot that i used to drink from the water fountain you know 0.99
01:21:08.520 like the the cup right there that like oh yeah where you put your mouth right on it i put my mouth 0.99
01:21:12.580 like oh yeah i thought that's what it was for and so black dude was like yo homie what are you
01:21:18.080 doing and i was like yeah what are you doing top you're drinking from the colored fountain 0.65
01:21:22.340 you get the bottled water whitey he's never problem with you putting it in your mouth he's just like 1.00
01:21:36.780 that's my fountain motherfucker what's wrong with you oh god damn oh hey hey i gotta i gotta that is 1.00
01:21:43.160 such a fucking stupid thing by the way i would love if i had my like wow we used to have it but 1.00
01:21:48.280 even if like it was like all white people use this fountain all like like because i get my own i 1.00
01:21:52.400 get to count out like 90 of the population sounds great to me are you oh you're you're imagining you're
01:21:59.040 black or do you live in or any i don't care like if it was like they were like only white people can 0.87
01:22:03.240 use this one because like we're the bad people or whatever like i'm totally fine with that i get my 0.61
01:22:07.080 own water fountain great yeah yeah apartheid is kind of based yeah it's kind of good but go ahead 0.98
01:22:12.320 sorry that's just a little side tangent so wait do you guys like flop your balls like through your 0.99
01:22:19.220 no or not no i do not no because i don't pee for my balls wait why are you saying really why do you 1.00
01:22:25.100 have to take your balls out what are you doing you having a party when i piss through a fly i take 1.00
01:22:28.660 my balls and my dick out entirely you guys do you guys just open your fly to piss or like because 1.00
01:22:34.060 i usually like open up the whole top thing i use the whole and i just i just open the fly no i open 1.00
01:22:38.760 the fly but i bring the balls out right now by the way no my balls are not out no honest to god 0.99
01:22:44.140 honest to god i don't think i can get my dick and balls out of the fly my balls do you not okay so 0.99
01:22:50.180 it's the jeans are we talking about jeans right here right now yeah we gotta be talking the zipper 1.00
01:22:53.940 right yeah yeah so you're saying do you just unzip and then just pull your dick out like because i 0.99
01:23:00.480 can't do that i don't i have to unbutton unzip and then let it come down and then like pull my 1.00
01:23:05.920 underwear down and then just let the underwear sit right under the shaft of my penis as you need to 1.00
01:23:10.260 get your prostate checked dude yeah no dude but well maybe i do because i why because clearly you're 0.99
01:23:15.900 having issues with flow no no no no it's not that i just don't want my like i don't want the
01:23:20.380 constriction of just like why do you why is the constriction bother you it's not i have razor 0.99
01:23:25.360 or whatever these fucking metal edges right next to my dick i'm not no no no that's true like yeah 1.00
01:23:29.900 the zipper can be can be right near your balls but the thing is i have to bring my balls out 1.00
01:23:34.100 that's true but yeah like two lemons just fucking gotta squeeze everything yeah that's why i do it 0.99
01:23:43.720 no but i do it because like if i don't do that and i just am pulling my dick out then my balls are 0.99
01:23:48.260 like getting cinched by my pants and i like can't unbutton the top button the problem is you're 0.99
01:23:54.020 like efficiently enough or effectively enough you know your pants are too tight toed so you're
01:23:58.480 wearing probably i have a problem i have a problem well i wear duluth ballroom jeans they're gonna be
01:24:03.000 another unofficial sponsor here because they no they're not they have a crotch gusset for people
01:24:08.540 like me who have like balls that don't fit in regular jeans so i i can't imagine like i don't 0.99
01:24:14.420 understand because also that means that you're not pulling your dick through the uh the boxer slit 0.99
01:24:19.880 too aren't you i don't wear underwear no he doesn't i saw that today he does not wear underwear 1.00
01:24:25.600 he went through the thing there and i was looking at him i was like this motherfucker don't even have 0.99
01:24:29.980 underwear on it's crazy no he was no so in his defense he was super late so i have the underwear 1.00
01:24:34.260 down actually below my my dick and balls and then my dick and balls are through the fly 1.00
01:24:39.240 whoa so so you're yeah how does this work do you stick your hand down your jeans 1.00
01:24:45.220 pull your underwear down and without unbuttoning the the jeans and i don't know if i can answer
01:24:51.500 this because it's like muscle memory so i don't even know what i'm doing like i just do it and get
01:24:55.900 back to us literally all you have to do all you have to do is just one extra step unbutton and then
01:25:00.340 you're there like you don't have to worry about any of this stuff i i take it i i'll do like no
01:25:05.220 what cole does i'll take the belt off open up the the button and then the fly because it's easier
01:25:10.740 to put it back yeah like i don't have to just pull it out then i gotta like start talking it's weird 0.99
01:25:16.120 the fly is just a zipper it's easy don't don't pretend like you guys got a foot of fucking limp 0.99
01:25:20.320 cock you can snap it right back in by the way you don't there's no way to do this if you had a 0.99
01:25:25.500 boner and you have to pee and you're in jeans well that's a problem well that's it that's a problem
01:25:29.940 for me i'm not talking about having a bone we can unbutton work our bones dude i'm not walking 0.99
01:25:33.860 around with fucking all boned up every time i need to pee i'm not walking around the office 0.99
01:25:37.360 with a boner well we still get we still get regular boners clint at 30 when you're young and virile 1.00
01:25:47.580 when i when i am at the park and i'm watching all these little kids walk by i gotta get 0.98
01:25:52.820 did i ever tell you guys a story about the first time i jerked off 0.83
01:25:59.460 no all right because this is honestly this is as weird a thing as i've ever
01:26:03.960 fucked uh at my age because as we all know i am elderly uh did not have the internet when i first 0.97
01:26:10.960 discovered that my dick wanted to be touched and i found a porno over at my dad's place he was out 0.99
01:26:16.700 of town or he was like away for an hour and so i pop in this vhs cassette and i'm just gonna like 0.99
01:26:22.020 watch whatever the fuck's on it because i'm bored and it's like it's i still remember this song 0.82
01:26:27.060 it's fucking sweet dreams are made of things yeah you're like the original nothing not the 1.00
01:26:32.600 world and seven seas and it's it's a uh it's a stripper on on stage in vegas fucking you on a 1.00
01:26:40.900 camera you could have stopped a long time ago and uh and she's she's taking her clothes off and i'm 0.99
01:26:46.400 like i'm like oh and then my dick starts to like get hard and i'm a little kid i'm like 12 or some 0.97
01:26:51.000 shit and i don't have a clue because i don't have the fucking internet like you guys so i don't have a 0.99
01:26:54.920 fucking clue what i'm supposed to do about it so i take my dick out and i start jerking off guess 1.00
01:26:58.880 how i did it overhand you did it overhand like overhand no like like a fucking like an like an 1.00
01:27:08.660 octopus like i can't i can't get up there like an octopus you were just like you were just like 0.99
01:27:15.680 stretching forward and you're like like this i jerked off like this and and to this day i still 0.84
01:27:21.480 think it's the fucking funniest thing i've ever done and i have no idea why i did it have you 0.96
01:27:25.640 ever tried it again no try it tonight yeah i will but hey check this out check this out i was so young 0.97
01:27:32.360 i couldn't even come yet so i just had these like these violent tremoring orgasms but i didn't 0.94
01:27:37.640 shoot anything and i could do it over and over again it was so fucking mystical it's like uh you 0.95
01:27:42.120 remember that thing that like your grandmother would have and it was that that head scratcher thing 1.00
01:27:45.860 that they would put on your head that's what you did but yeah my dick oh yeah yeah yeah it's just 0.99
01:27:51.900 like feels so good in your head i'm like it feels great on the other head too isn't that weird though 0.99
01:27:57.080 okay i'll later but i actually have a good story too mom can you please sign off real quick
01:28:01.340 so they used to like when i was in high school they used to give out condoms and stuff like that 0.74
01:28:07.480 so i would take them and then i would use those to jerk off into for whatever reason to simulate 0.95
01:28:13.940 whatever that's it you know it's like using a sock but it's disposable that's great i get but 0.95
01:28:20.720 then i was like then i was like where do i throw this out i would keep them in a box in my room 0.99
01:28:24.340 and then i wonder if my parents like went through that they'd be like this guy's getting pussy all 0.97
01:28:28.320 the time like you gotta watch this little seven he's got 55 he's keeping all these trophies here 1.00
01:28:33.300 i'm literally fucking myself 0.86
01:28:35.120 gotta keep gotta keep it safe mom gotta keep it safe i don't know he's keeping all his 1.00
01:28:42.380 the dudes they could think you're gay it's just all a bunch of condoms you use while getting 1.00
01:28:46.820 fucked in the ass that's uh what it could be and so you're like who's kind of all these yeah yeah 1.00
01:28:51.980 there's no way he's jerking off and there's no women over so i don't know all that's coming over 1.00
01:28:56.740 is his friends his buddies man well yeah that's that's what i did so my parents were very impressed 1.00
01:29:00.740 by the end she's a liar she's a liar she never found them they were in the gundam box you never 0.97
01:29:08.380 found them i can't believe your mom didn't log off that's so crazy oh my god and i because i told it 0.98
01:29:15.180 before i think on on the show you guys remember the story about when i came the first time right
01:29:19.760 terrible yeah i did find that very convenient i don't know who did that but whatever
01:29:26.920 like i i told that story right the first time i came blood started gushing out of my thigh at the
01:29:33.000 same time that was the first time yeah whoa i was like so traumatizing it's only been downhill from 0.99
01:29:41.140 there it's it's it's why it's why i uh fuck uh mattresses and sandwich my dick so the only thing 1.00
01:29:48.480 i did that was probably weird was i would just come onto myself and then just use my boxers to wipe it 0.99
01:29:54.440 up i would just go to sleep and then you own you would wear the boxers after like the rest of the
01:30:00.800 night yeah because i would sleep in your in your car yeah i would sleep in my boxers it's crazy that
01:30:07.620 anyone married you honestly dude i can't my parents had to know my like because i would do it under the
01:30:14.840 covers too and like i remember like my covers on the inside were just covered in stains where i just
01:30:21.720 been nutting and i remember when when i was a little piece of fabric of boxer briefs no just boxers i
01:30:28.360 didn't wear briefs back then i used to put like boogers my boogers on the wall and it was just like
01:30:33.220 a bumpy was a booger wall it's disgusting dude i i know it's like looking back on it i'm like 0.79
01:30:41.080 what the fuck is wrong with me oh oh i got i got a weird one when i was a kid when i was like kid 0.99
01:30:46.940 does this i'm gonna fuck my kid up if they do any i got i got a really fucked up one all right so 1.00
01:30:52.260 when i was seven i uh i think i was like seven i was the height where my dick was like just i just 0.99
01:30:59.480 i could barely get it up to the uh toilet paper holder so every time i would pee to dry off my 0.98
01:31:05.480 dick i would just i would just put it on the toilet paper roll the entire roll and then i would leave 0.99
01:31:12.460 in like public bathrooms my stepdad found it or like he like walked in to like go take his shit 0.97
01:31:21.280 afterwards and he sees the the toilet paper has like piss on it and he sees it a couple times and 0.98
01:31:25.740 he's just like he's like have i been wiping my ass with my stepkids piss like and i'm like yeah 0.97
01:31:31.860 you have that is so right i would because uh one thing is like women don't realize like i guess like 0.99
01:31:40.040 they both don't realize that we don't wipe usually like they don't because that is like and then also
01:31:45.000 at the same time it's like but there is times where we probably need we probably should be because 0.99
01:31:49.600 it's just going usually it just goes right into your fucking pants pants yeah but you are definitely 0.99
01:31:54.500 because you don't wear underwear so you're just running down your leg no my pants i always have 0.99
01:31:58.900 fucking piss stains because i'm just like i got places to be and i ain't wearing underwear it 0.99
01:32:03.660 doesn't matter what you do it automatically like i have and you know what's going to happen you're 1.00
01:32:09.720 like i shook it fucking 10 times whatever you could stand there for an hour and a half as soon as you 0.99
01:32:15.380 pull your pants up there's another drop yeah and it just like it does it's like it glimps down and 0.99
01:32:19.540 and then yeah sometimes you can't shake it all out man it happens so so by the way this toilet 0.98
01:32:24.580 paper just rubbing your dick on that's a great idea and it's very efficient i might start using this 0.99
01:32:30.300 but it was so incredibly lazy not to just take that little fucking square off and throw it in and 1.00
01:32:35.660 then flush it i just left it there what if that also means that when you were wiping your own ass 1.00
01:32:40.840 you're wiping your ass with your own piss so there is that too that's true that doesn't make me 0.99
01:32:45.900 really fucking weird uh mom mom's fine crunchy socks and undies i believe that right and and 1.00
01:32:51.260 also those bed sheets have to be i mean like mine my my parents my mom had to know the jerk 1.00
01:32:56.540 his whole room was just glowing yeah dude it's disgusting dude i just wanted to say the room and 0.91
01:33:01.560 all somebody was murdered in here my favorite thing about your mom's house with tom segura and christina
01:33:06.260 p is when tom has his mom on and and at some point at some point i would love if your mom would just 0.96
01:33:13.320 pop in and give us some fucking story because she's got the accent a little bit too it'd be 1.00
01:33:17.020 fucking beautiful have you ever heard tom segura's mom top are you frozen no okay my mom's very boring 1.00
01:33:22.680 don't let her don't let her fool you no okay 1.00
01:33:24.680 oh if you play this show at work you will get fired very fucking fast yeah so play this show at work 0.93
01:33:37.740 guys i accidentally did that once like odyssey like auto plays and i had it on my phone and the 0.94
01:33:42.960 intro started like oh jeez that was close i'm trying to think of anything else weird i did i mean
01:33:49.980 i mean i mostly jerked off in the shower so i mean yeah shower is easy clean it's really kind of weird
01:33:55.740 because i mean that's just like if you don't watch it go down the drain it's just sticking right that's 0.96
01:34:00.700 it if it hits hot water it will immediately like emulsify and it's sticky as shit yeah it becomes 0.72
01:34:05.540 like a saw it becomes almost like a plasma like yeah it does yeah i don't understand why you would 1.00
01:34:10.940 come on yourself and then use your boxers and go to bed and you fucking dirty piece of shit i would 1.00
01:34:14.960 wake up and there was nothing like i don't know that doesn't make any sense i guess i don't know if 1.00
01:34:19.460 it was like i was only coming like the seminal fluid and not sperm itself i don't know what it was
01:34:26.100 was this at the point where you were like uh donating i did this up until i mean i did this
01:34:31.440 because there might have been no sleeping content that actually does that tracks that 0.87
01:34:37.400 makes sense i did this until i was married 100 i i would jerk off whoa i swear to god i think you 0.93
01:34:42.980 still do it i i know no no i've watched it you do you do you still do it no i watch your boxes right 0.83
01:34:50.600 now prove it i'm not wearing it had to have been doing in the last like six weeks or so no other
01:34:55.340 no other choice no no hey serious question everyone always gets like oh this guy doesn't
01:34:59.940 wear underwear why why do you guys wear underwear what's the point especially boxers boxers literally
01:35:05.020 do nothing they do your jeans will like because because you're yeah you're well one of the jeans 0.99
01:35:09.680 is like a rough material but two there's only that one material between us and your penis 0.99
01:35:15.060 i think i want at least a double like my jeans are not rough you're only i told you duluth ballroom 0.99
01:35:20.420 no what i'm saying would you put a single pane window on your new house no no no yeah but you're 1.00
01:35:27.800 gonna put a single pane of fabric between you and a penis is your dick like running through a storm 1.00
01:35:33.380 you should know i mean you're kind of talking against our main sponsor she's underwear so 20 1.00
01:35:37.680 yeah yeah uh promo code gang obviously uh clint uh might have a point here though because if he's 0.99
01:35:47.460 uh going if clint is uh going commando then that's one uh fewer piece of fabric between his dick and a 0.97
01:35:55.460 lady so yeah it's like i want it i want to be ready i want to be ready honest to god i don't understand 0.99
01:36:01.900 why you wear boxers really don't do anything for me like you're not you're not in fucking warfare the 1.00
01:36:06.300 boxers aren't and if and guess what if your fucking dick gets like if your jeans get slammed with 1.00
01:36:10.640 something your boxers ain't gonna protect your dick so if you're wearing whitey tighties okay because i 1.00
01:36:14.820 also i also feel like it is also something for your asshole too because it's like it's that 1.00
01:36:21.700 what what is it doing it's keeping at least some smells into there yeah yeah yeah yeah 0.99
01:36:27.340 and not getting outside of that clint is red building us right now on boxes they're all
01:36:32.540 psyop i mean we're we've all fallen for big big boxers propaganda yeah you might be right
01:36:37.120 honestly because i remember i remember it's gonna be the boxer rebellion i wore whitey tighties in
01:36:42.960 elementary school and then my friends started wearing boxers when i was a skater and and i was
01:36:46.800 like all right i gotta wear boxers now because that's what the fucking cool kids do and we would 0.85
01:36:49.860 sag and shit so you had to show the boxes and then i realized like once i stopped sagging i was like 0.97
01:36:54.480 there's no purpose to this fabric so i just stopped and i you just sagged and it was just your 1.00
01:37:00.400 bare ass did you wear underwear on tim cast no that's so cool dude that that's one one fewer 0.99
01:37:08.420 piece of fabric between his ass honestly it is a very select few men that could do this you have 1.00
01:37:13.140 to be very chad because i feel like if you're a fucking fat piece of shit and you're not wearing 1.00
01:37:17.080 underwear you're disgusting well i am i am at this point i am a little bit of a fat piece of shit 0.99
01:37:21.740 but but i uh honestly god the only time i wear i i have like really nice uh supportive like boxer 1.00
01:37:28.700 briefs that i wear when i go to the gym because like my fucking dick and balls are flying all over 0.99
01:37:32.300 the place yeah yeah you need that but the rest of the time i'm just walking around i don't need 0.99
01:37:35.960 anything else there's no reason i didn't wear boxers it would literally like it would peek
01:37:40.760 out under the pants his pants like yeah that would be down there like dang maybe shorts not his pants 0.98
01:37:46.380 you need to sheath it man you gotta have something to keep it in your massive cock promo code gang go 0.96
01:37:52.360 to sheath underwear.com promo code gang i literally do wear sheath so uh dude it's more comfortable as cole 0.93
01:37:58.120 said it has like a cooling aspect to it and kind of like a an odor um eating aspect to it kind of
01:38:04.740 you know what i mean i've also been i bought some shorts that have the underwear built in that has
01:38:10.360 that like mesh and i like these i hate these a lot oh you really like swimming swim trunks no no no no
01:38:16.600 no it's actually i think pretty sure it's running shorts is what these are pants for retards for sure 1.00
01:38:20.620 he can't figure out underwear we got he's like they're not it's not swim trunks you wear these
01:38:30.080 when you go out no i do i really have them on right now i i with the money just like it's uh it
01:38:36.560 is like it's just a sewn in brief stand up i need to see it i mean please you don't have to like show 0.98
01:38:43.120 me your junk but i gotta see no we'll get nuked if you do that but we've seen cole's ass on the show 0.99
01:38:48.420 before i think but it is all right this guy's so jacked look at this guy i know he looks good 1.00
01:38:53.820 yeah yeah yeah do a little flex hey take take take down your shorts now come on take down your shorts 1.00
01:39:01.940 jerk off 0.98
01:39:02.580 guys that are listening to this i mean think of think of the money that you can save
01:39:10.200 on uh buying underwear or boxes or whatever monthly and then think of how like what you
01:39:14.780 can do with that money like join our patreon little dicky pull that up and for like two dollars 1.00
01:39:19.620 a month you can join our micro penis level or for uh ten it's five dollars actually five dollars i 0.96
01:39:25.660 mean what's the highest level we have is the deepest mussy yeah i mean it's something like 1.00
01:39:30.640 that i think it's i mean it's big dick energy or something yeah there you go what's what's the 0.99
01:39:36.020 url average white guy and big dick energy that's great it is uh www.patreon.com 0.98
01:39:41.100 slash tower gang pod please don't ever say www again thank you yeah it doesn't even say that 0.95
01:39:46.060 there it says yeah i know it's just it's just it's just so special by the way he's a software
01:39:51.520 engineer like this is his fucking job and he's like still types w w i do it's like i was i was in 0.99
01:39:58.420 the dialogue that i did that in the debates and he was like go to w w dot eight zero eight nine 0.99
01:40:07.200 do you remember like hey what's what's more based going commando on tim cast or walking out
01:40:12.760 after dropping the jq like kanye that's a great question i think going commando thank you no 0.99
01:40:18.940 because i mean this guy just he literally rubbed his ass like so kanye left his scent on that seat 0.98
01:40:23.640 but no longer i mean now that's all clint i have felt i'm not gonna lie i have felt extra powerful 0.98
01:40:28.360 ever since i got out of that chair it's amazing it's really yeah a sight to see you guys should have 0.68
01:40:34.940 been there but i mean whatever yeah kanye's ass like anointed i could have replaced whoever that 0.85
01:40:40.520 one guy was that said like two things the entire podcast hey that's search shout out to surge he's 0.96
01:40:45.460 cool out of search but i definitely could have been there or actually search search is the guy that
01:40:50.000 was running the whole show so maybe don't replace him i would have been the worst guy to replace
01:40:54.320 actually i could definitely replace luke i could if i wasn't there instead of luke it would have been
01:40:59.420 luke was very uh he was very reserved last night yeah he was cool i think he offered
01:41:04.760 me a job not sure i don't know it seemed like it he said he's like we'll see what we do together 0.81
01:41:08.880 yeah he followed me so well i'll see oh so a blow job shout out to luke please don't watch this show 1.00
01:41:14.360 but shout out you definitely will not invite us back if you watch this episode they asked us to be 0.92
01:41:20.400 they said well tell me something offensive and i'm like if i just say like nigga right now like 0.97
01:41:24.160 they'll be like real match i thought about it he's not brown it's fine guys so he's actually he's 1.00
01:41:29.980 actually half black people don't know that but it's true yeah i'm allowed to say it so fuck you guys 0.98
01:41:33.740 don't i'm actually i can also say it my i'm a one-eighth racist okay so grandfather 0.99
01:41:38.960 was a slave owner so it's fine for me too you guys could have you guys could have towered like
01:41:46.700 kind of secretly progressively throughout the show like you know like half of them like sound like
01:41:51.020 actual like words and stuff too so i wouldn't be surprised if our fans were doing that just i mean
01:41:55.320 just for the last little bit because you are on tim cat do you just want to finish off with 0.84
01:41:58.700 whatever stories you have and how okay that's fine we got through we got through all the fucking 0.99
01:42:02.760 dicks and well this this is actually pretty funny so we get in there and uh and oh oh that's right 0.99
01:42:09.000 luke luke says he's going to be moving uh somewhere near me uh we'll just leave it at that and and top
01:42:15.120 goes and i go oh we got something coming and and top immediately chimes in you guys got a lot more 0.99
01:42:20.100 than you know and i was like i was like you motherfucker and i and i turned on like oh 0.97
01:42:26.080 yeah that's true you want to know and luke just goes no i don't want to know so we ended it there i 0.97
01:42:30.880 didn't i didn't declare our eskimo uh sibling at the end of the show at the end of the show clint's
01:42:36.340 like luke's luke's like uh he's a hey you know any uh like leads for apartments or something and
01:42:40.660 clinton was like i got an extra room i was like this guy's so fucking wild man and then and luke was 0.98
01:42:45.620 like luke was like no no i have a girlfriend it wouldn't work i was like maybe it would 0.84
01:42:48.740 clint's like yeah i'll steal that one too like it's fine
01:42:54.120 that's not what happened you done you finished you got i got what seconds
01:43:00.380 21 yeah i'm good let's go but you you and luke are uh eskimo brothers is there a term for uh having 0.99
01:43:07.300 like watched your bro fuck like what what are me and cole where's something it's called a sex offender 0.99
01:43:14.200 actually you're going to jail it's called five to ten 0.99
01:43:19.260 anyway shout out shout out to luke we're all just joking this is all jokes we don't mean any of the 0.99
01:43:27.000 stuff we're saying yeah he's not gonna fuck your new girlfriend or anything like that so shout out 0.98
01:43:30.280 whatever unless you break up and there's like a six month cooling off period then she can call me 0.87
01:43:34.280 but other than that i wouldn't i wouldn't even consider that dude i'm cool anything else i mean
01:43:38.880 because you said i mean i saw you in the what is the place like because clint's already been there
01:43:42.360 i know i know what cole and i are we're jerky boys
01:43:45.420 so tom what is
01:43:48.020 i thought it was i gotta see all right hold on to that we'll we'll we'll come back to it what are
01:43:57.220 you saying just like i mean because clint's already been there before he sold like what
01:44:00.560 the like what was it just like there what was the experience oh yeah uh it was cool i i was expecting
01:44:06.860 and it's kind of fucked up i was expecting like more like more of a compound but it's like a it's like a 0.95
01:44:11.860 house like you kind of drive up a driveway then but but we did go i mean the house was 0.87
01:44:17.000 crazy we only sold like one part of it so i can imagine what the other side was it must be like 0.98
01:44:21.900 just a yeah there's a when i went there the first time i saw the majority of it the thing is fucking 0.90
01:44:26.720 enormous yeah i don't know how many acres you got if it's a compound then the atf might like set the
01:44:32.540 whole thing on fire so i don't know that's true hopefully when you're there yeah
01:44:36.640 it was pretty cool like you know they had the skate ramp then they had like their stairway with
01:44:42.580 all the drawings on it the studio was really well done apparently they're building a new studio it
01:44:47.200 was pretty cool it was a it was a nice uh like operation that the guy's running there and although
01:44:53.020 i did like you know i do give uh tim shit for like especially the yay interview which i do think 0.90
01:44:58.380 he handled wrong i will say that i do respect what he's doing there like as like as a business 0.82
01:45:03.280 person and even more so ideologically because he explained to us like how he actually is kind
01:45:10.000 of like losing money on uh some of the things that he's doing but he's doing it to create culture
01:45:14.960 which is i i think it's kind of he said it enough he doesn't care about the money
01:45:18.340 thousand times god damn i was it was i know everyone's dragging him for that but because of 0.79
01:45:27.460 the comments he's looking at he felt like he had to address it i don't think he would have said 0.94
01:45:30.580 it that many times if it weren't yeah i just i i would just say like i i said this in the group
01:45:35.360 chat i think they took it uh the crowder situation that it was not a thing about like oh look this is
01:45:42.480 the contract he turned down it was more about him talking about the cabal of big big con that um
01:45:49.780 was like he believes is used is with like in a relationship with big tech and they're working
01:45:57.400 together with like to use young conservatives and just use them for the money and then also be
01:46:03.980 like okay we can censor them at any time and you don't have to worry about like these guys we're
01:46:08.000 gonna take care of like that's what i think was more interesting i know clint touched on it a bit
01:46:13.040 uh but like he just wanted to kept going back to like the money side of it and i was just like this i
01:46:17.360 don't think the money side is as interesting to me like maybe for like 10 minutes did you watch the
01:46:21.520 video by crowder yes i watched the entire thing yeah where did he say what you're describing because
01:46:27.260 i didn't at the beginning he he talks about how he was like i feel bad because there are people in
01:46:32.460 this movement that are not here to like for the movie he literally says that at the beginning and
01:46:37.900 he was like he sounded like he was about like it was somebody close and personal to him is what
01:46:41.200 because he almost sounded like he was about to like tear up i don't even know why we're 0.82
01:46:44.740 pretending we don't know who it is it's fucking it's literally the daily wire yeah yeah yeah i 0.90
01:46:50.020 think yeah yeah yeah but he was talking about how big the big conservative movement is uh there are 0.93
01:46:56.520 big cons in their con men and i know but it was i i read i heard that i understood that to be the
01:47:02.340 contracts that they're drafting i didn't understand that to be them being liberals you know no no he
01:47:07.140 because he mentioned he says he mentions in there that he says like they are in um hand in hand with
01:47:13.220 big tech he was like big con and big tech are hand in hand all right maybe not like that's why
01:47:18.600 like i knew i saw it and i was like i sent it to both of you and i said they're gonna talk about
01:47:22.560 this tonight yeah well you know they here's the thing they weren't gonna talk about it do you
01:47:26.620 remember this clint he brought up like five articles and i was like you're not gonna talk about
01:47:30.160 crowder and he was like oh crowder yeah and then then he spoke for like 30 minutes beforehand and 0.63
01:47:35.200 and damn it then two hours after and i was like what the fuck did i say i'm glad i'm glad top 0.95
01:47:41.100 jumped on that that grenade because i didn't bring it up it was yeah but how was i supposed to know 0.99
01:47:46.160 that he was just like you drop your fires yeah i mean i mean yeah i i didn't think i was thinking
01:47:51.440 like this could be like a 15-minute conversation if it's just about money or it could be an hour-long
01:47:56.060 conversation if it's about like hey there's a part of the conservative movement that is not
01:48:01.500 fucking like on the up and up these people are like and like honestly it's i mean it's pretty 0.63
01:48:07.760 obvious yeah it's obvious like it's obviously true but here's the thing we don't know like 0.97
01:48:12.500 what crowder is reading into that contract saying that like these are people that are trying to get 0.63
01:48:17.000 us to acquiesce to big text rules if you're fucking sending tens of millions of dollars to somebody 0.89
01:48:22.440 why are we doing this debate i don't even want to do it here's the thing is crowder was saying if 0.98
01:48:28.220 they're sending me this then they're definitely going to be sending it to every fucking little guy 0.99
01:48:33.460 that's out there and they're going to take it yeah but they ain't sending them the kind of money 0.96
01:48:37.540 that they were offering the crowd for less money and they still control them that was the whole point 0.93
01:48:42.540 like he's going like they're going to send me this contract and it's bullshit yeah i they're now 0.85
01:48:47.540 the payment little little dicky brings up a good point we didn't do plugs and we we should probably 0.99
01:48:53.260 get out of here soon so yeah because i didn't want to get into this really gay shit to talk about 1.00
01:48:59.520 but like i think that was the angle but and honestly you guys could i mean tim was steering 0.98
01:49:05.240 it the way he wanted to steer it i know clint came in there a couple times with some good stuff
01:49:08.960 especially the the yeah oh yeah and i i still haven't seen the after show and i need to watch it
01:49:15.880 because apparently like you said we said some wild shit on that yeah was that one that so the after 0.62
01:49:20.140 show was better yeah must have been yeah uh i'm not surprised that the well i'll watch that and i'll 0.76
01:49:26.340 be back on tim cast tomorrow tomorrow that's right uh yeah so plugs oh
01:49:32.960 well uh this is clint russell liberty lockdown uh my episode with viva fry is now up and next week i
01:49:42.140 will have on comic dave motherfucking smith uh make sure you don't go to youtube because i cannot put 0.93
01:49:48.680 anything up there for three months because they gave me a second strike yeah clint can't get it off
01:49:52.260 uh but i do have also jesse kelly next week so it'll be on rumble search clint russell two s's two l's
01:50:00.680 uh or you can go to my twitter and there's a link tree thank you guys so much for checking us out
01:50:05.500 nice yeah uh you catch me on top lobster.com top lobster everywhere else podcast merch.com
01:50:10.880 go ahead so tower gang toad i just got my big uh original account back big bigger and i
01:50:17.980 renamed it so i'm still using tower gang toad follow me on twitter uh subscribe to the tower
01:50:23.900 gang patreon patreon.com slash power gang pod i did not say www this time hell yeah there it is
01:50:30.780 a little dicky uh we got over the hundred subscribers on rumble so we're streaming to rumble now we're on
01:50:36.200 rumble odyssey youtube we still stream to obviously because a bunch of you are here
01:50:40.400 tower gang next week every wednesday 9 11 p.m 0.73
01:50:44.560 february 1st sam tripoli up in this bitch next wednesday lewis j gomez that's right he responds 1.00
01:50:52.720 our new boss lewis is on next week sam tripoli is seriously on on uh on february 1st though yeah 0.95
01:51:00.160 and lewis is seriously on next week guys 100 we are part of gas digital it is tune in next week
01:51:05.680 we are not joking little dicky take us out with the video thank you guys we love you i'm dave fat dave by 1.00
01:51:11.660 the way you gotta knock the plug go ahead fuck your mother fuck him cats that shit was boring 1.00
01:51:18.100 i love jews i've done bad mouthing networks and saying how unfeasible all of this is for the 1.00
01:51:24.400 say that our boys dave smith and lewis j gomez uh gas digital they have signed tower gang to gas
01:51:34.180 digital i just wanted to shout out lewis you're like a brother to me thank you so much for bringing
01:51:38.800 us on board call them lewis the peach your con your contract looks a little bit like that and i'd
01:51:43.500 like you to work on it but other than that we appreciate you uh putting your love and faith
01:51:46.820 tell me about gas digital real quick gas digital is basically a largely a comedy platform and
01:51:52.040 tower gang being our more comedy deranged lunatic outlet we knew we weren't long for youtube so we
01:51:57.660 had to find a platform that would take care of us in terms of just allowing us to you know say
01:52:02.460 insane humor wherever it leads us and gas digital is uncensored gas digital network.com yep you got
01:52:08.660 it so you know thinking about after we just got done bad mouthing networks and saying how
01:52:12.880 unfeasible all of this is for the past hour and a half i gotta say that our boys
01:52:18.420 you
01:52:24.800 you
01:52:27.620 you
01:52:28.620 you
01:52:29.120 you
01:52:31.800 you
01:52:32.400 you
01:52:33.720 you
01:52:35.940 you
01:52:36.760 you
01:52:40.340 .