Ep 109 - The Buttholes of Mumbai
Episode Stats
Length
1 hour and 50 minutes
Words per minute
209.9272
Harmful content
Misogyny
175
sentences flagged
Toxicity
1,294
sentences flagged
Hate speech
197
sentences flagged
Summary
This week on Liberty Lockdown, the boys talk about slavery, 9/11, and the future of the NFL. Plus, a new episode of No Way Jose and the great Reed Coverdale of Naturalist Capitalists!
Transcript
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The funniest 9-11 jokes were written on 9-12.
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Women jerk off dicks like fucking they're unruly ferrets.
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You see, the socialists don't have an accurate answer for this, and she needs to account for it.
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We can stay horny and retarded longer than she can stay sane.
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Ben, maybe you could say we had sex, but we didn't fuck.
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I hate him so much and didn't want to see him anymore.
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As always, we are joined by at Tower Gang Toad, at Tower Gang Jose, host of No Way Jose,
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Mr. Jose Gellison will be on TimCast IRL tomorrow with the great Reed Coverdale of Naturalist Capitalists.
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He's the father with a ginger, soulless son.
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And then Top Lobster, the father who wishes he wasn't.
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When you were saying, as always, we have, I was like, you better not say me, because
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Dude, last week, I really wanted to be on that show.
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I was sitting in this chair and just, like, clumped out at, like, 8.25.
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Reed's only on the show 12% of the time, but he's responsible for half of the violence.
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So you know none of us are going to mention you to Tripoli.
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And I'm Clint Russell, host of Liberty Lockdown.
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It's crazy that you potato brain, smooth brain, pieces of garbage tune in every week,
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I saw today where Cassandra said she has, like, a couple months already booked,
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and I was like, well, I'm guessing I'm not in there, so I can call him everything I want.
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I'm sure she just says stuff like that sometimes.
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But, like, it also could just be, like, kind of a leave me alone type thing.
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I'm joking because you were supposed to be on tonight.
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Yeah, he got big-timed by a couple of no-namers.
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You got bounced by a bunch of Congress people.
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You know, we were, like, worried, like, doing the math in our heads.
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It's like, is it better to have two solo episodes for this?
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But this is definitely a better situation following up with us together.
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You should have demanded to be on the show with Lauren Boehring.
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I swear to God, I would have hit on her so hard.
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Pull a corner and be like, our fan base will go at war if you fucking move me.
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I don't know why, but I think it was in our tower gang group chat, like, the big group chat.
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Someone said that Lauren Boehring looks like her tits face different directions.
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And I thought that was just so fucking funny.
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I love titty-fucking a chick that looks like that because then both of her tits are, like,
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looking at your dick while you're doing it.
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But, no, we were talking to more of, like, orangutan titties.
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I think, like, she has titties that go this way.
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She has opposing magnets in her tits, and they just fucking just go away from each other,
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You guys keep saying this like it's a bad thing.
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I am fucking hard as a goddamn rock right now.
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I mean, just huge tits that go all sorts of different directions?
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Yeah, you never even know which way they're going to be facing at any given moment.
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I want big old fucking bees on propellers.
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Being married by the local goat farm, and it was like, ha, ha, ha, ha.
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This is the most important part, that there was milk in them there titties.
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He's like, this is the type of content he's bringing to the show.
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I may or may not have sucked a titty last week or year.
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Even I've sucked one with him last year or something.
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I think Cole was trying to clumsily segue into a possible bit we may have in the future.
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I wish I could somehow get you cat milk, but there's no way.
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The audience doesn't know what the fuck we're talking about.
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Oh, so basically, so I mentioned, I told this, I was in the chat where I said I may or may
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not have a sucks on some titty, but I got no milk out of it.
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And to which the guys were like, would you try it?
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And I'm like, I already have, but I would love to do a taste testing, do like a blind
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Let me cut you off because you just reminded me.
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I've been drinking since before the show and it just kind of, my mind is free.
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Reminded me when we moved from Brooklyn, right?
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We moved into her uncle's house for a little while in Brooklyn before we came to Florida.
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And my wife was really big into like milking and putting into the bags.
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And then so that like, if she's not home, you know, the same shit.
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But she started like getting crazy with it and keeping all of it.
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And I moved like an entire deep freezer filled with milk up here.
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Like you put it in the, if they have like, you can do that and butter and shit.
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You can, you can do, you can make it, all this stuff.
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But what it reminded me of was that we left an entire freezer full of milk inside in the
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And I know that her uncle didn't even like clean it out.
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So somebody must've bought this house and there's just like 50 bags of like frozen milk.
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And I just wonder what they're doing with it right now.
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So it's just like engulfing himself on my wife's milk.
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That's why, you know, everybody says I'm anti-Semitic.
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No, when I say fuck the Jews, it means I'm horny.
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It's a little garlic, actually, what it is, but it's Italian.
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You know how many guys are being a whiff of brimstone every now and then from her, don't
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You know how we've been talking about having top draw our dicks?
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Why don't, like, I say we take it up to the next level.
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Like, all right, so we do the dick drawing when Dave Smith, by the way, Dave Smith will
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The weekend after that, the week after that, I hope that Luis J. Gomez will join us.
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As opposed to drawing our dicks, we all send each other samples of our cum and we have
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to taste it on air and decide who's who's.
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I would rather drink your cum than your cum that's gone through the mail.
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I mean, like, I don't want to suck it, but, you know.
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I think, oh, if we ever did another live podcast, we all, like, right before, we all go jerk
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Or do we, like, I'll do it onto a napkin and then we, like, move the napkins around so
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It's just one guy and he's blindfolded and then we just jerk off into his mouth.
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So it's, like, I mean, depending on how fast y'all can cum, like, it could be an hour
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There's not a chance in fucking hell I could get off to cum in Toad's mouth.
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It's lucky that Toad is part of the Ku Klux Klan because he'd have, you know, his hood
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over so I can't see his face and it would help me get off faster.
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We'll put a 14-year-old girl behind Toad and then you'll really get off.
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I think the primal-sent sex without domination just clicks with Toad's, ugh, you know, like.
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And the, uh, yeah, the whole twist here is that every sample is actually Scott Ritter's
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It's like, we had our Libertarian Comedy Days, but, like, it's the gift that keeps giving.
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We're like, should we go back to Libertarian Comedy?
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Because there's a lot of funny shit right now.
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Yeah, it's like, I hate them so much I want to talk about it, but I'm like, no.
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I hate them so much that I won't talk about it.
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There is a joke here, though, that needs to be formulated and I've been thinking about it.
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I know, I'm treading lightly here, but with the whole Scott Ritter thing, there's like,
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um, when, you know how saying Russia is bad is, like, masturbatory.
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It's kind of like just, you know, saying something to make yourself feel better that doesn't really
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So there's a joke somewhere there about, like, condemning Scott Ritter is masturbatory.
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Condemning Scott Ritter was something he did 15 years ago to a 15-year-old is masturbatory.
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His victim's, like, over 30 now, so, like, who cares?
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The real question is, does she regret it, right?
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Look, all pedophilia is actually justified because you just have to.
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And envision them being a future version of themselves when they're an adult.
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That's the next clip featured on the quartering.
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By the way, guys, feel free to always just clip stuff out of context here.
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And we've already talked about Jeffrey Epstein.
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You're both on the did nothing wrong with those.
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He thinks that he he thinks that Ron DeSantis is dead.
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He thinks that they that they executed him, which is amazing.
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I was like, you got to tell me all this shit.
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He thinks that Michael Jackson might be some there.
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He thinks that they dress him up as Nancy Pelosi.
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That part makes sense that Nancy Pelosi is dead.
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Did you guys see the demon woman from Australia who's like the president of gender studies
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Speaking of which, we need to get into mailbag unless you have some interesting.
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Can we talk about can we talk about how the mailbag boy try to get us on some kind
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of like Enron scheme, like some multi-marketing level?
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And if they get five other friends, you got to get five more podcasts under your podcast
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We kind of started it, but we didn't finish it because Top took his story about leaving
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Live on podcast, I'll do a live blind milk tasting.
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So we'll have like some whole milk, some almond milk.
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I think you should do skim because that will make it harder.
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Skim milk, almond milk, maybe some oat milk.
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Yeah, I'm saying one of the boxes should be filled with cum.
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One of them should be cum and Jose should send you a sample of cat milk as well and that
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Oh, we need to talk to Liz behind the scenes.
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What we need to do is talk to Liz behind the scenes without you knowing and be like,
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hey, just one of these times you're fucking him just like and like right when he busts
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like, you know, it's got to be the right moment when he's like doing those things where
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he's like looking up like, like, just take like a little shot glass out and like fucking
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like, you know, like and then just save it, you know, if you're listening, Liz, let
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And then you're like, I'm going to go clean up.
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And then you just, oh, just like, oh, I'm not I'm not getting inside.
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Apparently right now is apparently right now is the most like fertile she will ever be.
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Yeah, she was like, you have to pull out and you have to be make damn sure that you're
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She got the one and she was like, I think we might stay at one.
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She doesn't want to honestly, she doesn't want to breastfeed anymore.
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And I mean, as much as I keep sucking on it, it doesn't matter.
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Enjoy 18 years of remembering me as I go on the road.
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If Cole died from all the steroids that he's doing, would you marry his wife?
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Keep me in mind, I've already seen her in a threesome, so.
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He's the only one in here that has seen her naked, I hope.
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Because Toad would be the one that would, he would like, he might not fuck her.
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Because she'd just be like, no, you're just going to pay for my shit.
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He's definitely the least likely to blow her out, so.
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Clint would leave her in like two years because she's already 26.
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And so she's like, she's probably going to be old.
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Looking loud as the fucking doomsday clock.
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If Clint doesn't make her go insane prior to that.
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Reed would try to make her move to fucking New Hampshire.
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She's like, she's not hot until she's 45, so.
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So guys, notice this is from a legitimate account.
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They have a blue check mark, so obviously it's legitimate.
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Between you and top, I think it would be one of you two.
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I lean toward Jose after all I've seen from top saying he hates his kids.
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Guys, we can only have one conversation at a time.
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However, Jose is already married though, so that might be an issue.
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Look, I'm not raising some ginger kid, so.
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Now we've got the other ginger kid going on here.
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In this role, I'm committed to listening to those who are dedicated to promoting gender
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equality and learning about the perspectives and priorities in communities and countries
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Promoting gender equality is the right thing to do, but it's also the smart thing to do.
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It is central to Australia's diplomatic economic development and regional security, as well
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I look forward to working with people in Australia, in Pacific, in Southeast Asia, and globally
00:18:54.400
I think in one minute, she blinked three times, so this woman isn't real.
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Dude, she has the craziest eyes I think I've ever seen.
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She looks like fucking, I don't even know what she looks like.
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I struggle to imagine a hypothetical in which I would, but, like, maybe there is one.
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Like, between some combination of drugs and alcohol, maybe.
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Maybe, but, Jesus Christ, I struggle to think I can, you know, concoct that fucking...
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If I was in prison for a year, I might let her fucking suck it a little bit.
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See, I'd be afraid I wouldn't get it back if I let her suck it.
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You guys know that that's a reptilian, right?
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I thought it was an alien, but I'm good with, like, Neanderthal reptilian.
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Do you think reptilians have a good, like, throat game?
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Do you think they have, like, any reflexes there?
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Yeah, they just fucking, they just fucking just grab that shit.
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I bet she's, I mean, she might not even be laid.
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I mean, honestly, I bet the lizard people just don't even fuck.
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All right, guys, this is a great conversation.
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She has, like, a fucking, like, Neanderthal.
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By the way, I just want to make it known that I would choose Jose to wife up my wife if
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I'm pretty sure I have insurance policy, though, so, you know.
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Dude, Jose's gonna die and be like, double it and pass it on.
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Cole, when you die, we're just gonna pass Liz around.
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I thought I had a pretty good shot at winning that one, I'm not gonna lie.
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I claim year one, we'll send her around, I don't give a fuck with that.
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No, if I had to take bets, though, I think Cole, I would have bet that Cole lives the longest.
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Like, he's going to live to be the oldest or the longest from this day forward?
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Jose dies suddenly, so he beats Toad, and then I think Cole goes third, honestly, because
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I think Reed dies in a fucking long-haul trucking accident.
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Well, the thing, if Cole lasts the longest out of all of us, that is crazy, because he
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has a severe plasma deficiency, and not only does that, you know, affect his health, but
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it also, as Clint pointed out, it makes him do retarded things that could possibly kill
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Like, me plus dementia, I might be the most racist person on earth.
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That'd be, for that reason alone, I want you to live a long, long life.
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Yeah, there's a thing, it's like, when does this end?
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She was like, when are you just gonna, like, fucking, you know, stop?
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Yeah, there's also a pretty good chance that one of you will murder me in the near future,
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so there is that possibility out there as well.
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I do hate that shit, because it's like, it's like, oh, you're mad about, like, an hour
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Like, it'd be okay if I was playing video games or some shit, wouldn't it?
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If any woman were to ever ask me, like, when are you gonna stop doing X?
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Like, you're allowed to, for an hour and a half, go and, like, call a bunch of, like,
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12-year-olds nigger fags or whatever, but you're not allowed to call your friends
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that on a podcast for the same amount of time.
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What's really shitty, though, about every new girlfriend I get is the, I have to always
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buy flowers for the funeral, and that sucks.
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And it's the first time I meet the family every time, and I'm like, oh, I really, you
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know, we had a great time together, and I'm so sorry about it.
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Bro, I honestly, I bet I get, because she is, like, six months and I'm done, like, and
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I bet if I was just like, by the way, they're giving you, like, 50 bucks per, like, five
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ounces, she would be like, all right, I'm going to keep doing it.
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Keith asks, which would you rather fuck and why?
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One, being a sexy, fresh, dead possum, and two, being a particularly unattractive, mildly
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What trailer park was this question written on?
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It's just hypothetical we have to include that we find it sexy somehow.
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But I guess the sexy one, just by that dairy pack, is sexy.
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As long as the sexy one is still warm, that's what I do with.
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You want it to be warm, especially, like, because the possum, it's a marsupial, so you
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Don't possums have, like, one of the lowest body temperatures of mammals, and that's
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why they, like, never get, like, fucking viruses?
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They're going to get cold quick, so it'll be rough pussy.
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Is the possum dead, or is it playing dead?
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It's like, damn, baby, you sexy, but I'm not sure if you get it now.
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I'd go with the sexy dead one, personally.
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Just by the very fact you include the word sexy, I just think it's a technicality, that
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I mean, a dead possum, you find it attractive in this hypothetical.
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Which lower rung of hell will you go to for?
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Yeah, now it's bestiality and necrophilia.
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Cole, it's still bestiality with either of them.
00:26:27.520
Well, hey, look, the, like, left libertarians will tell you that.
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Like, somebody mentioned, what was the girl?
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And now you're saying Lola Bunny from Space Jam.
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And I'm like, dude, everything's wrong with me.
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Like, large bees, small seeds, and just fucking...
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Jessica Rabbit is at least human, unlike Lola Bunny.
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Lola Bunny had, like, Hispanic features, though.
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Like, kind of, like, small up top, but she had the big rabbit ass.
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Lil Dicky, bring it up, because she didn't.
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You're young, Cole, so you're probably thinking of the new Lola that they made, like, way less sexy.
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Is this, like, the Bernstein Bears thing, where Lil Rabbit didn't have a tank?
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He was not fucking stacked, man, in the bottom.
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Okay, yeah, maybe you're, like, matching her features.
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You have to go from the one from the actual fucking movie, not the...
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The best thing about Space Jam, though, is that...
00:28:08.580
Dude, the best thing about Space Jam, though, is that R. Kelly is on the soundtrack.
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There, yeah, on the left, on the left, on the left.
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Okay, so now what we're doing here is comparing the aesthetics of Lola Bunny.
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She does have a little bit of a donk there.
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Like, I mean, her belly's so skinny, which makes her ass look fat.
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They did very much sexualize her for a children's movie.
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Let's get into children's sexuality, guys.
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Spud asks, what is your least favorite animal and why?
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I've been afraid of spiders for basically my whole life.
00:29:24.840
It's whatever that dinosaur bird in Australia is.
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It's the last thing you see, motherfucker.
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I know a lot of people are going to doubt me,
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I feel like we could fuck a wolf up over a kangaroo.
1.00
00:30:02.240
I feel like a kangaroo would absolutely...
1.00
00:30:10.660
because this is completely a rip-off of them.
0.99
00:30:14.120
thinks he could beat Dave and Jay simultaneously...
0.99
00:30:22.340
but if he's fighting both of them at the same time,
1.00
00:30:24.260
he is going to get his face stomped the fuck-
0.99
00:30:30.440
I would be willing to fight Little Dicky and Toad
00:30:37.280
I thought you were talking about Dicky for a second.
1.00
00:30:39.460
I was like, you bit off more than you could chew.
00:30:53.580
something that we could promote as midget fighting.
0.96
00:30:56.540
But, hey, with all due respect to Little Dicky,
0.99
00:31:06.220
I am not the ladies and the retards, right?
1.00
00:31:27.080
And Jose's just there, like, chimping out.
0.99
00:31:33.520
Like, I think Jose would fucking kill both of them.
1.00
00:46:06.920
but you're going to be in his hometown tomorrow.
00:46:39.340
And I didn't know if he meant the libertarian party.
00:46:45.760
Didn't he tell you Jose that you should kill yourself,
1.00
00:46:49.580
you little half man or something like that.
1.00
00:47:04.800
I can tell you where he works in his phone number.
00:47:19.220
I ended up DMing and I deleted it after he apologized.
00:47:33.700
You abandoned the libertarian party because of the Mises caucus takeover.
00:47:36.580
And then you went and you worked for a conservative outlet.
00:47:40.400
cause we're always accused of being conservatives and he hates us.
00:47:44.100
The fact that he fucking went through the,
0.99
00:47:45.660
like the tower gang circle after he got scared to death by me.
0.99
00:48:10.680
like this guy should probably be Reed's replacement.
00:48:41.320
he messaged me and then immediately locked out shit.
0.98
00:49:11.120
And then I just respond back after five minutes.
00:49:29.500
And then I see that I'm able to fucking vote,
0.99
00:49:42.660
So he has to fucking keep canceling it over and over again at 2 a.m.
0.99
00:49:45.820
So I just keep calling him for like 25 times in a row.
00:49:48.420
And he just keeps hanging up every single time.
0.99
00:49:52.380
I wanted to punish one of these fucking internet trolls.
1.00
00:50:09.920
I would have never said a fucking word to the guy.
1.00
00:50:37.200
like she kind of went after you guys and you went after her.
00:50:46.880
you don't give me a good morning text or whatever the fuck.
0.98
00:51:09.120
I just wanted the story to be known because when people come for me,
00:51:22.520
And I won't ever get to that level except for if you come for me,
00:51:27.420
I didn't fuck with this bitch at all that.
1.00
00:51:29.060
She took some out of context shit and she tried to fucking ruin me.
1.00
00:51:46.820
And she was complaining that Clint wanted to,
0.86
00:51:49.120
I believe genocide white women instead of disabled.
1.00
00:51:52.400
No one was making fun of your retarded son.
1.00
00:52:06.180
who cares fucking about how we want to kill disabled people or some shit,
1.00
00:52:18.160
all like attractive white women are disabled.
1.00
00:52:26.980
They're never challenged because they have everything given to,
00:52:30.260
So like they never are forced to grow personality.
00:52:44.460
And all I have is this fucking can right here.
0.99
00:52:49.840
if Jose ever does it in the can and if I should just do it right now,
00:53:02.280
what are you going to ask to stand in the studio tomorrow?
00:53:13.340
it's because you use it to kind of like dissipate your nervous energy or
00:53:16.680
it's just going to be like this the whole time sitting down.
00:53:43.540
His last name spelled like a sneeze or something.
00:53:58.900
Look at that photo and tell me that's an endearing human being.
00:54:05.500
you guys want to plug and move on to another topic?
00:54:19.120
What I've learned from Legion of Skanks is that when,
0.99
00:54:21.560
when I'm telling a fucking crazy story about myself,
0.94
00:54:23.940
this was me demonstrating my Louis J Gomez side.
0.96
00:54:28.660
You have to come up with some sort of impersonation to me,
00:54:39.460
There's been no viewers because I'm on fucking rumble,
0.56
00:55:07.000
I will have dropping premier from the day after February 10th.
00:55:23.560
and I will be going on Timcast with Jose tomorrow.
00:56:23.600
and I'm probably totally going to mention again,
0.96
00:56:25.040
but we do have fucking Dave Smith next week.
0.89
00:56:35.640
We don't want LP bullshit politics Dave Smith.
0.98
00:56:46.580
We're going to add a co-cash to that motherfucker.
1.00
00:57:20.560
We're going to get the comedian Dave Smith.
1.00
00:58:33.880
All orders over $37.99 receive free shipping.
0.99
00:58:42.100
but I just bought some more of this coffee.
1.00
00:58:49.160
Fox & Son's Coffee is what I was getting high as fuck off of
0.97
00:58:53.580
So, like, I would recommend that you only do a half bag.
00:58:56.260
If you do a full bag, you will threaten people.
00:58:59.280
What you can do is you can shove it up your butt
0.99
00:59:04.840
and then it would be more like civet coffee, you know?
00:59:15.360
Oh, that's the one that those fucking bats eat
1.00
00:59:37.000
Have you guys ever noticed it's Fox I-Sons?
0.95
01:00:01.340
Well, let's let Steve finish it if he wants to.
01:00:08.100
Thank you for sponsoring us, Fox and Sons.
0.97
01:00:22.320
Free show, you said you had some questions for me.
0.99
01:00:30.040
I just didn't know why it took everyone so long to pick up on this.
01:00:32.400
I wanted to question Cole's manliness because he's talking about, he was saying, he could,
01:00:39.260
well, you can squat double your weight or you can bench double your weight or whatever
01:00:57.940
I feel like to be in the realm of considering yourself a man, you should be able to bench
01:01:11.980
Yeah, well, lose some weight or put on some mass.
01:01:26.200
I used to rep out 405 for like four sets of 12 just for funsies.
01:01:30.400
Clay, you have to understand, he's going this much.
01:01:34.940
Dude, the most I ever squatted, I went through my numbers a while back because I couldn't remember
01:01:44.600
So it wasn't quite a third body, but it was up there.
01:01:52.800
Yeah, and I did wrestling all through high school.
01:01:55.820
I'm not like a master by any means, but I could fuck.
0.99
01:01:58.540
The only danger that I represent to you is I throw lead.
0.99
01:02:09.000
You're just going to like ground me up like a little gorilla bear.
1.00
01:02:12.920
That's my forte is taking your ass to the ground.
1.00
01:02:16.880
My question, Nicole, because all that stuff is real nice and superficial.
01:02:19.560
You can do these like weird motions and you can do them like multiple times.
01:02:30.160
If I was just to go as many as possible, I'd probably get 15.
0.98
01:02:41.060
My workout when I do pull-ups is four sets of 13.
01:02:44.600
And the way I do my workouts currently now, I don't go up until they get below easy.
01:02:53.020
And then eventually I'll up the reps when it gets to super easy because I'm just trying
0.99
01:02:56.440
to, I don't know, I don't want to like, because I fucked up a lot of shit at times.
0.98
01:03:03.480
I've done a lot of damage to my body by lifting heavy as fuck.
0.99
01:03:07.500
So I'm taking it a little bit easy now to where I'm like, well, I'm just going like,
01:03:16.420
Like four sets of 13, that's like not hard at all for me.
01:03:20.080
But the thing is with Jose, he's so fucking short.
0.99
01:03:40.940
And I'm not saying I'm a huge different from Jose, but I do have to pull a little bit
01:03:59.000
I mean, I guess it depends on my shoes, but yeah, 5'6".
01:04:12.720
Every time I see Cole, I feel like I'm in the shire.
01:04:25.120
And he's got these calves like a fucking dwarf.
1.00
01:04:30.240
We can all say how tall we say we are and then all like actually measure ourselves and
01:04:38.220
Clint is welcome to enter my hobbit hole whenever he wants.
1.00
01:04:50.400
And you can add a couple because you're just like.
01:04:57.840
If you're able to squat over 600 pounds, I feel like it adds an inch to your height.
01:05:08.620
I like what I probably could do in the low fives to mid fives right now if I was
01:05:16.200
Oh, by the way, on Twitter, Toad said, I'm 5'6".
01:05:20.920
I was like, bitch, you can put anything on your license.
1.00
01:05:30.440
When I got my learner's permit, I had to give my information.
01:05:33.440
And when I was 15 and a half years old, because in California, that's when you're able to
01:05:36.660
get your learner's permit, I gave my honest measurements was 5'4", 97 pounds.
01:05:40.860
By the time I got my driver's license, I had had this enormous growth spurt, and I was
01:05:52.500
So in California, your license plate lasts for, I think it's, or your first driver's
01:05:58.000
license lasts for like five years or six or something like that.
01:06:00.140
So by the time I was in college, I was 6'1", 190, 200 pounds, something like that.
01:06:05.120
So my license still said 5'4", 97 pounds, and I was 6'1", 200 pounds.
01:06:09.280
I got pulled over, and this cop looked at it, and he's like, he actually had me get out
01:06:14.620
of the car, because he thought I had stolen it, and I was giving him a false ID.
01:06:19.760
I was so, and I had this little tiny baby face.
01:06:25.960
Sorry, it wasn't that funny, but it's a true story.
01:06:30.200
Yeah, I was like, I've grown eight inches, and I fucked your wife yesterday, so.
1.00
01:06:34.340
I was actually listening to an old show today where you were talking about this seven, eight
0.99
01:06:38.320
inch growth spurt, and you said that you had stretch marks on your hips from growing so
01:06:49.880
I have stretch marks all over, but that's because I'm five foot five, and I've gone up
01:06:54.120
to like 225 at one point, so I'm not built for that.
01:06:57.440
I have stretch marks, like, right here, which came before I, like, started lifting, so it's
01:07:03.640
Like, I got all over just from being fatter than I am now.
01:07:08.780
That is, like, the worst feeling in the world, like, where you're like, I got so fat, I got
01:07:12.580
stretch marks from being just fat, which, I mean.
01:07:15.420
I feel like you're getting less funny the more attractive you get, so if you could slow
01:07:21.240
Maybe I should, like, like, guys do, like, steroids.
01:07:23.520
Maybe, like, just eating a ton and getting more funnier than just going back down.
01:07:29.760
I know we've talked about this a thousand times, but I mean it with every fiber of my
01:07:38.020
I want to spend a month just on the sauce, see how fucking I don't think a month would
0.98
01:07:46.080
Dude, um, okay, yes, Jose, yeah, if he, if he goes a month, he might.
01:07:58.900
The biggest thing about them is it reduces your recovery time.
01:08:02.440
So, like, and obviously you'll get more out of each workout.
01:08:06.760
It's not like magic to where you can just, like, just take steroids and gain strength.
01:08:11.580
But the thing is, you want to maximize what you're getting out of.
01:08:13.820
If you're doing, like, two a days, like, when I was on the sauce, I got to the point
01:08:17.820
where my off day was, I only worked out once that day.
0.52
01:08:21.080
And I was, like, that was just what, like, and I was fucking, like, hitting the weights
0.98
01:08:26.120
But then, like, I'd do it in the morning, and then in the afternoon I'd be back, like,
0.99
01:08:34.100
If we get 10 Patreon supporters over the next seven days, we're going to be on Timcast.
01:08:49.280
I just want people to vote with their dollar, and then we'll come out of pocket.
01:08:59.040
I want, I want, I want to feel my fucking.
1.00
01:09:03.200
Dude, no, you say that, you say buy Viagra to compensate.
01:09:06.960
If anything, like, I mean, different steroids, different, like, whatever, do different things.
01:09:13.300
But, yeah, I've been on ones before where you're like, fuck yeah, my dick's so fucking hard.
1.00
01:09:29.620
It would be 60 grand, and I'll do the $10,000 cycle that fucking Liver King was doing.
0.99
01:09:40.160
Dude, if we did that, after having not been on steroids at all, we would all have heart attacks.
01:09:44.640
And everyone would think that we were vaccinated.
01:09:49.780
Because he says he's now been a month natural.
0.99
01:09:52.820
And you can tell that he got off the sauce, at least some, because he is not a fucking, like, huge testicle, is what he used to look like before.
1.00
01:10:00.800
Which is weird, because he was also eating huge testicles.
0.99
01:10:04.500
We have a lot of fucking content to cover here.
0.99
01:10:21.820
It means he's off cycle, or he's finally actually cycling like you're supposed to, as opposed to just permanently being on them.
01:10:30.860
Imagine we do get signed to, like, some big platform, and they're like, here's a $60,000 advance.
01:10:35.560
And immediately, the first thing we do, we just, like, buy steroids and split it up six ways.
01:10:39.880
You're like, what the fuck is wrong with you guys?
0.99
01:10:42.100
I mean, you can do steroids for a few hundred bucks for a month cycle.
0.99
01:10:58.220
Honestly, I wouldn't suggest any of you do steroids except for maybe Cole, to be completely frank with you.
01:11:03.400
If I'm being ethical and what I would suggest for you, because really, like...
0.98
01:11:14.460
Like, really, you should only be doing steroids if you're at a point in your life to where you're already hitting the gym, like, crazy, regularly.
01:11:20.240
This is the most feminine I have ever heard you.
01:11:22.780
I'm just saying you're just wasting your money.
01:11:26.400
I can't wait for Jose to just go on to the gasp, get this over with, and come back to us like the savage that he always is.
01:11:34.120
Because, I mean, I think you were going to touch on this before, Cole, about what's been going on with Jose in the group chat.
01:11:46.520
Okay, for you also don't know, which you don't know because you're not in the group chat.
01:11:49.720
This dude just starts monologuing for no reason.
01:11:57.120
He's like, okay, guys, listen to me here real quick.
01:12:01.920
It's more of me, like, making notes for myself and running it through for me.
01:12:11.080
Like, we're all threatened by his gorilla-like presence.
1.00
01:12:14.500
Like, we're in the other, like, behind Jose's group chat.
01:12:19.660
It's also still Jose doing it, so he's still on cocaine.
01:12:29.160
You're not giving the audience any examples.
1.00
01:12:34.040
I don't know what the fuck you're going to read in there.
0.99
01:12:44.020
that, like, well, what if when I'm sitting there
01:13:02.460
But I'm a psycho, like, where I can play both ways.
01:13:06.960
I think I genuinely will be able to go in tomorrow
01:13:10.100
Like, I'm not going to be an insane person there.
01:13:21.420
Because I think, like, when you have some moment
01:13:25.180
there is, like, a balancing of giving a fuck.
1.00
01:13:30.260
and then day of, you have to not give a fuck
0.99
01:13:36.340
battle of extremes where you have to go play both.
01:13:52.920
how intensely Tim does not even want you to be there.
01:14:26.660
Dude, that's so obvious when you watch his show.
1.00
01:14:29.020
you have to include yourself in the conversation.
01:14:49.140
that, like, we're going to pay for you to come fly out here.
01:14:51.940
We're going to pay for your travel, your hotel,
01:14:58.980
That's basically what we do with guests now, too.
01:15:04.300
you're just, like, bringing some new person in to add something.
0.98
01:15:07.980
The dynamic is actually getting people to talk about different fucking news stories.
0.96
01:15:12.800
So, like, but it's still, like, I'm going to talk.
0.96
01:15:15.480
Like, I'm going to, like, I have my thing I want to talk about,
01:15:18.500
and this person's in the way of me getting there.
01:15:20.540
But it's, like, I guess I'll let them kind of, you know.
01:15:24.380
it's going to be like he doesn't want you there.
01:15:35.440
I think I can push the conversation to Oklahoma City.
01:15:39.500
And I'm, like, the whole time I'm thinking, like,
01:15:50.960
If it gets into anything, FBI corruption, any,
0.98
01:15:53.580
like, there's so many different segways you can go to.
0.94
01:15:57.080
And all he's doing is, like, yeah, yeah, yeah.
0.96
01:16:05.800
he's like, I am ready to sway this conversation to OKC
01:16:09.620
And Reid is like, I think I'm going to tell them
01:16:11.740
I'm not going to go because I don't want to talk
01:16:20.320
By the way, I think the two of them have a very good.
0.99
01:16:27.140
And I'm just like, you're going to talk about, like,
1.00
01:16:29.880
fucking the stupid Twitter being down today.
1.00
01:16:32.500
Like, that's what you're going to talk about
1.00
01:16:37.140
I have a, I know you guys think I'm crazy.
0.99
01:16:43.840
I am just game planning different scenarios in my head
01:16:48.780
but I do have realistic explanation, realistic expectation.
01:16:52.080
I know at the very, like, I'm likely probably going to get
01:16:59.000
You're doing the thing that all men do when they're in a room,
1.00
01:17:03.800
oh, if there's a guy with a gun to come in right now,
01:17:10.500
That motherfucker that sits here and games plans that?
1.00
01:17:18.960
Well, Reid, that's surprising because you are gay.
1.00
01:17:21.780
So I think you would have done some by now.
0.99
01:17:25.060
Like, I really think that's how, like, the big,
1.00
01:17:28.080
like, the real, like, people that are on their shit,
1.00
01:17:34.880
Like, he literally, like, fucking went and hung out with Scott
0.98
01:17:37.420
and, like, fucking just sat there and went over notes
1.00
01:17:49.920
Even still, though, it's a rotating, like, topic.
01:17:53.640
This, to me, is like, it's like studying for the SATs.
01:17:58.400
Like, I never studied for the SATs or for the kneecap testing
01:18:07.820
Because you don't know what question they're going to ask.
01:18:28.700
I assume that going to Tim Pool, though, I assume is just, like, what I do with hookers.
1.00
01:18:34.200
I pay to fly them out here, have them over.
0.58
01:18:41.340
And then I tell them to get the fuck out of here.
1.00
01:18:43.180
Yeah, everything except the fucking them sounds accurate.
1.00
01:18:49.300
He pays for them and looks at them and touches himself.
01:18:52.960
This is going to be so funny because I just get to watch Jose for two hours talk about...
01:18:57.220
Reed, you remember those pants that you wore at my house for three straight days?
01:19:01.720
I would wear those pants to Tim Pool so you can assert your dominance and you can show them your package.
1.00
01:19:11.760
Are you guys fucking going to pull any shit like we did?
1.00
01:19:21.220
Okay, if he says six million like five times, I might make a really mild joke.
01:19:29.940
It could have been just like, wow, six million, huh?
01:19:33.440
Everyone who watches Tower Gang would have gotten that.
01:19:49.620
I just want to say, Top and Clint killed it on the plan bit.
01:19:58.500
We're not going to do anything planned, but we'll kill it at the unplanned.
01:20:04.080
If I'm in your shoes, guys, right now, say whatever you want.
0.99
01:20:07.220
If the conversation is boring, say this is fucking boring.
0.99
01:20:17.300
I swear to God, I was this close to doing that.
01:20:23.460
And I was like, and now people are giving me shit about this.
0.98
01:20:29.520
I was like, well, I have my friends coming on, and I'm loyal to the gang.
1.00
01:20:32.740
So basically, Jose and I are going to be like, fuck Toad, fuck Cole.
1.00
01:20:39.120
To be completely genuine, I mean, if you guys have a bit idea that's good, I mean, sure,
01:20:43.460
But to be real, I think with me and Reid, real quick, with me and Reid, I think it's better
01:20:48.780
too for us to go the serious route, maybe go a little more fun at the end.
01:20:54.460
But I really think then Toad and Cole will be a big finale.
0.98
01:20:59.020
Then you can make a new point in the group chat for six months, Jose.
0.99
01:21:06.740
By the way, I love it how you go, now I'm in sage.
01:21:12.160
And then after that, I'm going to be in smoke the bowl mode.
0.99
01:21:14.700
I was like, what the fuck are you talking about?
0.99
01:21:22.340
They're going to drive you back to the hotel.
0.99
01:21:38.660
You do get to have that jerk off in a hotel time, which is some of the best jerk off times
1.00
01:21:48.540
Since Gas has big-timed us, I say you say the Compound Media signed us, and you big up
0.96
01:21:56.480
whoever the fuck's over there, and then we clip that, and we put it out, and we just make
0.86
01:22:07.540
I mean, basically say Gas Digital signed us, and then that just launched us, and The Blaze
01:22:12.520
reached out immediately, and now we're on The Blaze.
01:22:15.840
Our numbers, after being on Tim Castile, are 10xed, and we expect being on The Blaze to
01:22:31.700
The funniest part about Clint's bit was that they didn't know, and they just believed it.
01:22:42.480
I can't wait for Jose to do that tomorrow night to Tim.
1.00
01:22:52.100
The greatest part about that bit, it's the bit that doesn't stop giving.
0.65
01:22:56.540
Me and Top went on fucking Sam Tripoli's paywalled show, and it was so funny.
01:23:04.140
Me and him were trying to keep a dead face all the time.
0.83
01:23:06.060
He introduced us as being on Gas Digital, and then later, at one point, he went into
01:23:10.380
a whole rant about how, like, I just tell you guys were awesome because you got one
01:23:14.760
on Gas Digital, and I just know, like, what they signed off is good, and you guys are
01:23:18.680
And the fact that he even went for you just, like, says, and we're just like, yo, y'all
01:23:23.360
Hey, someone needs to sign up for his fucking paywall.
1.00
01:23:25.500
We got to clip that and send it to the fuck you.
1.00
01:23:29.480
Also, Jameson says, say you're signed to WorldStar, which would be great to be like,
01:23:33.260
we just got signed to WorldStar, and we will never go back on that contract.
01:23:47.100
And if anything comes out of us naked from WorldStar, it's all good.
01:23:50.600
The only way this could have been better is if, like, Jose was on today, and he says,
01:23:53.920
like, we're signed to the Blaze, and then Reed goes on tomorrow and says that we're signed
01:24:00.060
Every time they ask the Joker about, like, how do you get those scars, it's always a
01:24:08.600
God, your mic etiquette is awful today, but go on.
01:24:11.340
If you can get everybody to believe that all of that is true, then you have, like, all
01:24:16.060
these different, like, networks competing with each other when none of it is true.
01:24:23.000
I like it, though, because, like, all we're doing is big-upping networks that we like.
01:24:29.740
Like, it makes them notice us, and ultimately, it's going to work out.
0.99
01:24:35.460
What is the most liberal podcast network out there?
01:24:40.920
We could be like, we just got signed by NPR.
1.00
01:24:51.740
Each N and CNN Plus say something different for us.
01:24:56.280
CNN Plus, that's the name of the show, dude.
0.98
01:25:02.000
You see, niggers account for 13% of the population, and they also account for 15% of the crime.
1.00
01:25:08.680
You know, being racist on NPR is such a great bit.
0.98
01:25:17.900
I can't think of any off the top of my head right now, but it is a good bit.
01:25:20.860
If you open up borders, eventually, the white race will be replaced.
1.00
01:25:30.080
If you look at all of the owners of major media industries, you can tell they're all of one race and ethnicity and culture.
01:25:38.240
But if you notice too hard, you will be canceled from everywhere.
01:25:42.840
Have you ever looked at the pictures of the different ovens and gas chambers?
01:25:51.740
Could they be made of wood and still kill six million?
01:25:55.700
Notice how there are no blue stains on the walls anymore.
01:26:02.480
Yeah, see, we totally could get away with some subtle joke like that.
1.00
01:26:05.520
Like, nice blue paint on the walls you got here, Tim.
01:26:16.120
Wait, can you please mention the Mento sponsorship?
01:26:29.000
We probably should do that because it's like...
01:26:43.060
Obviously, if they offered us enough money, we'd definitely do it.
01:26:58.980
Or not maybe not all of us, but most of us watch Legion of Skank.
01:27:05.960
Now, if we did a Compound Media bit, I don't know any of their insights.
01:27:09.200
I would definitely do your mom's house podcast network.
01:27:16.640
He saw us talking about, like, black-on-black crime.
01:27:23.620
No, or just say something like we're in a contract war between the two.
01:27:29.460
But we're dealing with both their Jewish lawyers, and it's really not fun.
0.99
01:27:37.380
It'll be dragging the Steven Crowder shit again.
1.00
01:27:43.720
It's probably going to be your last time on the show.
01:28:02.880
I'm going to guess what you're going to talk about tomorrow.
01:28:06.060
I am hoping to bring up the Meghan McCain stuff.
01:28:12.720
One thing that I think is going to come up tomorrow is that report about the U.S.
01:28:33.040
They're talking to some fucking Congress people tonight.
0.99
01:28:35.220
That's going to be another thing tomorrow.
1.00
01:28:36.360
But I think the Nord Stream Pipeline and then fucking...
0.99
01:28:39.960
You were told Eliza Blue isn't going to come up.
01:28:46.940
I just have had enough white woman bullshit
1.00
01:29:14.160
and that anticipation to propel you out of the gates
01:29:25.280
Try and come out of the gates fucking aggro
0.99
01:29:32.180
and he dominated the first hour of that episode
01:29:56.020
and that might bring it up right out of the gate.
01:33:14.200
because like Reed is going to sit there and be like,
01:33:21.940
I've been conceiving this in my mind for weeks now.
01:33:38.080
and he's thinking that it's something it's not.
01:33:46.100
I want to shit in your cornflakes a little bit
1.00
01:34:01.520
I think he's not going to be able to get cocaine safely
01:34:13.580
I need you to hit like a six shot espresso before you go on.
1.00
01:34:23.040
I can just stop off at the CIA headquarters quickly.
01:34:48.040
So I couldn't scroll back far enough to this morning.
0.99
01:34:56.300
I think it's one of the most adorable things I've ever seen.
01:35:13.540
And then I realized halfway through the phone call,
01:35:23.820
I'm going to be totally fucking out of my mind.
0.94
01:35:38.460
because I mean like it's one of the biggest shows on YouTube that like live
01:35:44.640
I told Sam on temple when we were on temple had,
01:35:49.740
but I'm like way more excited to be on this show.
01:35:53.420
and it's not even like half the audience and it's like behind a paywall,
01:36:07.660
that would be like Rogan is probably the top show you can go on ever.
01:36:17.220
I think the best chance you have of getting on your mom's house is if we
1.00
01:36:25.560
and then we get it to go viral on YouTube like that or,
01:36:32.460
this guy gives plasma and he's a fucking retard.
1.00
01:36:44.640
I don't know whatever you want to get the funniest one,
01:37:19.640
I flew 3000 miles to not have people talk to me like this.
01:37:41.980
Because I did not think EBT does not mean I can.
01:37:51.900
I just expect this dude just to fucking just go to 18 spinning kicks to her face.
0.99
01:38:02.340
why is he like letting her do this to the store?
01:38:08.160
you're a indie kid and a black woman is berating you.
1.00
01:38:38.080
I've never seen a black person act like this.
1.00
01:38:49.720
She's literally telling her kid to just go pick out whatever you want.
1.00
01:39:26.220
Because I shit moving around these bitches.
1.00
01:40:05.060
That's what I'm fucking clown the way I do,
1.00
01:40:25.860
it is just so funny to watch when it's like two races that you can't make fun of,
01:40:30.960
PC culture actually go at each other because it's just like they can do,
01:41:05.700
She was really directing her kids to steal from this,
0.57
01:41:25.640
I recently watched this thing where this Indian clerk was actually murdered by a psychotic black woman.
0.99
01:41:35.420
So that's all I was thinking of during this whole thing.
0.84
01:41:52.840
Cause she was yelling so close to his face,
0.99
01:41:55.960
Your breath smells worse than all of the buttholes of Mumbai.
0.99
01:42:02.880
We have open sewer in my nation and it still smells better than you.
0.99
01:42:16.620
my body odor is being overwhelmed by your breath.
1.00
01:42:27.200
how did he not just wind up and absolutely deck her?
01:42:34.840
but like the fact that he didn't just keep going all out.
01:42:43.420
if you see that kind of shit all the time,
1.00
01:43:02.780
That was the reason for that was he had done basically what this dude had done to the
0.87
01:43:10.260
he had thrown her out and then she fucking sends her dude in there to go,
1.00
01:43:16.180
So this guy's probably thinking of himself like,
01:43:20.840
her dude coming back in here and blow my brains out.
1.00
01:43:29.000
I guess her EBT card didn't work or some shit.
0.96
01:43:36.440
I've seen this situation a hundred times and it could be literally anything.
01:43:59.360
he worked for the public train or railway system.
01:44:02.860
I can't imagine that because it has to be a different level.
01:44:11.300
And like a public space where they can just fucking like anything can
0.97
01:44:17.920
bring up one more banger video and then we'll get out of here.
01:44:27.160
And we're just standing on one side and this homeless guy starts yelling at
01:44:33.840
And he just takes his dick out and just pisses on the train and it like
1.00
01:44:37.660
It's just all kinds of crazy shit like that all the time.
1.00
01:45:07.460
if you could switch the line with David DePape.
01:45:23.700
I can tell that the interviewer is black because she would literally
0.98
01:45:41.800
Not that y'all have seen the body camp footage.
01:45:44.040
I have an important message for everyone in America.
01:46:01.640
You domed a Pelosi with the fucking bullpen hammer.
1.00
01:46:28.320
he runs shit more than the politicians do.
1.00
01:46:47.020
he fucked this guy and then hit him with a hammer.
1.00
01:46:57.160
there's no way any of this would happen without them banging first.
0.92
01:47:10.120
why wait until the cops get there to dumb him?
0.96
01:47:34.340
I spent all my time in closing government corruption online,
01:47:42.940
only to have them silence my freedom of speech as quickly as they could.
01:47:46.980
They circumvented the constitution of the private industry.
01:47:50.560
But the grooming class outcourges every impression of you for the right to the private industry.
01:47:59.380
I wish this guy would just say that instead of,
01:48:02.160
he said it right before he clocked fucking Pelosi.
0.99
01:48:27.040
I just wish he would say that and then domed fucking Pelosi.
0.99
01:48:32.560
can you drop the hammer and he just goes like,
0.77
01:48:34.140
I'm going to tell you about the global homo elite real quick.
1.00
01:48:41.680
so he was like sleeping in their backyard or something.
01:48:45.160
And then he must've snuck into the house and put,
01:48:53.260
there's a cult of global elites that they're fucking children.
1.00
01:49:10.620
Cause I think he should have used a teapot and gone Warren Harding on this guy's ass.
1.00
01:49:19.480
Because he like broke like a window and got in.
01:49:33.060
I need you to send fucking as many chats as you possibly can.
0.84
01:49:37.940
All the super chats that he's been getting are about Eliza Blue.
01:49:41.560
So if you say anything about anything other than Eliza Blue,
01:49:52.020
so it should be about Eliza Blue or it shouldn't?
01:49:56.180
And you should wait towards the end because they,
01:50:04.720
So you need to wait until like 10 minutes before the,