Tower Gang - Ep 110 - Spherical Shitting w⧸ Dave Smith

00:00:00.000 fill her up you're listening to the gas digital network

00:00:05.680 what's up retards the funniest 9-11 jokes were written on 9-12 women jerk off dicks like

00:00:13.560 fucking they're an unruly ferret yeah you ever had a 9-11 cocktail it's in manhattan with two

00:00:20.820 kamikazes you see the socialists don't have an accurate answer for this and she needs to account

00:00:27.800 for it white women must be stopped that's right what yeah we can stay horny and retarded longer

00:00:35.860 than she can stay sane what your ass ass to penis ratio maybe you could say we had sex but we didn't

00:00:42.760 fuck you said oh jesus fat dave fuck you man welcome everybody to another live edition of

00:00:54.280 tower gang this is clint russell we got tower gang toad we got tower gang jose host of no way jose

00:00:59.220 we got the fattest of them all sorry sorry i got just i got like lost in your biceps for a second

00:01:07.560 we got top lobster of toplobster.com and we have oh my goodness the well hung to our micropene

00:01:14.600 the skinny to our fat the ron paul to our clint russell the leader of the rothbards against

00:01:23.280 the loser brigade the great comic dave smith thank you for joining us oh thank you guys so much it's

00:01:29.180 very good to be back great to see all of you fat dave fuck you man how does it make you feel there's a

00:01:36.360 very good chance that guy might be going on your parody may be going on timcast soon

00:01:40.600 and then i feel like it's probably like an accomplishment of some sort you know what i

00:01:46.340 mean like it's even my parodies can get on now well i i did i thought i watched uh i watched the

00:01:53.360 episode um the with both the tower gang episodes so far i watched the uh the one the you know i thought

00:02:00.980 reed and uh jose did a little bit better because you guys got to talk about shit that anyone cares about

00:02:06.160 um but you're not wrong it was also cool to have a full two-hour conversation about

00:02:13.320 stephen crowder

00:02:14.680 how much money tim pool has no how much money tim pool doesn't care about

00:02:21.980 yeah you have no idea only one dave you gotta be careful top's gonna kill himself if you talk

00:02:27.500 about that too much so you gotta fix your uh your mic gain here and by the way reed uh

00:02:32.540 goes by flannel flamer now so that's true is that better that's news to me well dave you have

00:02:38.080 no idea how hard it is like i could see there was a point and like at first you guys were like well

00:02:43.200 here's what i think about like the contract and this and that and then you could see like a point

00:02:46.720 like halfway through the show where the energy was like so we're just going to talk about

00:02:50.500 all right okay i was this i was this close to saying can we fucking change the subject but i'm

00:02:59.540 like i've got to be polite because i got my boy jose was like just spurging out about really wanting

00:03:04.080 to go on the show for some reason and i'm like reed's going on i gotta save face but like they're

00:03:08.640 talking about you're talking about a gay man and two jewish lawyers or two no yeah i guess two jewish

00:03:14.700 lawyers talking about a contract for fucking two hours and i'm trying to look at tim the whole time

00:03:18.940 i'm falling asleep it was the worst experience of my life please put this in this attempt i was

00:03:24.120 like i was so fucking mad i'm still mad about it fuck this shit man the only person on earth aside

00:03:30.480 from tim pool that actually enjoyed the conversation because i'm like yeah this is like the world that

00:03:34.540 i'm getting into and i'm very interested in the inner workings of it and everybody else is like

00:03:37.860 please shut it off please stop and then you were wrong and you lost the debate uh to fat dave

00:03:43.480 you did yeah you did no i did not that's not even possible well the best thing that happened

00:03:49.240 on that episode is that we got to announce to the world that we were assigned to gas digital so that

00:03:52.860 was really cool that's fucking incredible besides that yeah it was just a huge waste of time otherwise

00:03:58.020 yeah uh we if you did see the intro we did have our you know because we are gas digital now we have

00:04:04.140 the gas digital intro we even have they took we had to kick out michael bisping's podcast and that's

00:04:08.900 yeah he's gone is there now so that's where uh if you watch it well yeah i mean it was it was kind

00:04:14.520 of obvious to me way before you guys announced that this podcast is going to be on gas digital i

00:04:19.600 mean you guys you basically are the legion of skanks there's without you know the audience or the jokes

00:04:25.280 that lounge that was almost a compliment i was feeling really good and then it was like

00:04:32.300 it was a pure compliment it was not even a compliment dave i'm not gonna lie i so i went to the show

00:04:38.020 on a couple weeks ago and then on wednesday when i got back home we did the show we intentionally did

00:04:43.780 a segment that you did but we did it better like like we made it better i said i saw this and i was

00:04:48.460 like we can be better we can make this stronger and bigger and better and i think we we fucking nailed

00:04:53.060 it you know the 30 people that watched they it was a good response that was uh that was the one

00:04:58.200 about uh the dude who's dating the woman that looks like she's eight right yeah oh yeah yeah oh yeah

00:05:04.320 that was uncomfortable i'm not gonna lie it was not for us how was your how was your interview

00:05:09.640 with scott with scott ridden who did it we were both clothed all the way through so it was good

00:05:17.760 we just got off an interview like i am actually genuinely interested how was that uh he talked

00:05:25.140 almost the entire time but he's i mean regardless of what you think of the guy he does have a lot of

00:05:30.180 knowledge on nuclear disarmament and weapons treaties and uh you know lack of communication

00:05:37.540 leading to bad places and he does not have a good outlook on what's gonna happen in ukraine he thinks

00:05:43.820 it's gonna get really really bloody and russia is going to destroy them so i don't know it's pretty

00:05:49.740 bleak but it's a very uh informative well not from his perspective yeah no uh yeah he knows a lot

00:05:56.260 i mean i don't know i literally know nothing about the guy he's basically he's like the curtis

00:06:00.820 yarvin of pedophilia it's pretty crazy well he knows a lot about nukes which is why he calls his

00:06:06.060 penis fat man which is also why he pairs it with little boy oh god i'm sorry for uh it's clear are

00:06:14.800 you still going to the rage against whatever that thing i'll be i'll be there with reed dude it's

00:06:20.960 gonna be great get to meet fucking jimmy door and kim iverson all these other people i've only

00:06:24.040 talked to online so i'm i'm excited about it and i get to talk you know for five minutes or

00:06:29.180 something about anti-war shit it's like what i'm most passionate about so it's gonna be great

00:06:32.360 i hope it's fucking big success man it's an awesome thing i mean i don't know god damn i've

00:06:39.200 fucking uh i've just completely like stayed out of all of uh most of the internal libertarian drama

00:06:46.540 for the last few months because i'm just yeah i took your i took your spot dude it's been fucking

00:06:50.720 terrible yeah and look what it's done to clint he's aged 20 years horrible but it's just like

00:06:57.620 some of it it's just like so ridiculous at a point like i kind of um i i guess i mean i'm not

00:07:04.040 like claiming to be better than anyone or anything i mean you guys but not better than anyone else

00:07:07.740 and like not anyone important right uh but like i know i i was kind of like leading the charge

00:07:14.440 through a lot of this like fucking libertarian fucking infighting shit but i at least thought

00:07:18.780 there was kind of like a point to it it was like we were trying to show that like oh these people

00:07:22.960 kind of claiming our name and fuck you know what i mean like and and running the party like shit

00:07:27.860 fuck them we're gonna beat them and fuck them up and like show them why their arguments don't stand

00:07:32.540 up and all this it was like we're gonna take over the party there was kind of at least like a goal in

00:07:36.660 it but lately it's just been like god damn like i just see so many people like people arguing when it's

00:07:42.460 like okay we're all against the war in ukraine and there's this huge like rally against the

00:07:48.240 fucking war going on and against american support for it but we're all gonna fight to the death

00:07:53.320 because there's a speaker there that we don't like yeah i got what okay yeah well i i think what it

00:07:59.700 shows is i know we're not supposed to do any serious sort of serious talk so i'll end it on this but

00:08:03.820 i think that it shows that the that the uh cultural marxism has has infiltrated every aspect of our

00:08:09.820 civilization and like now people are are once again in like cancel mobs can still come for

00:08:14.940 even people you know on the libertarian sphere and from people within the libertarian sphere

00:08:19.460 that shit was so gay i i canceled my membership to the libertarian party and now i'm subscribed to

00:08:24.260 scott ritter's only fans

00:08:25.680 i'm done i'm taking my stance right now weirdly same price

00:08:31.960 better better content did you get to the bottom of of whether or not the uh the entrapment chick was

00:08:40.840 hot i i didn't bring it up i i know you're an upset you guys i was talking to the dude like

00:08:47.860 four minutes ago you guys are making me feel really weird now what is the story with this i've literally

00:08:53.420 just heard what people have said he hit on a 16 year old girl but she was like apparently she was

00:08:57.860 like fucking smoking hot and she was busting she was mature for her age it was a cop dude it was like

00:09:04.300 an fbi agent so like it was an adult so you know but where but like what were the circumstances like

00:09:09.940 online or like yeah it was like in like a chat form in like a yeah 18 and up not safe for work chat

00:09:15.660 forum did she say she was 16 yes yeah i think it was like a yes i'm not in the fbi and he was like

00:09:26.180 good enough for me i'm in look look look man i'm about to nuke my career

00:09:32.580 do you know about the war in ukraine do you know about my large penis

00:09:38.380 oh it's not great no it's not it's not hey it's all jokes here i think he got busted for the same

00:09:48.120 thing three times and i was like brother if you fall for three fbi enchantment schemes at some point

00:09:52.980 you just need to go to prison that's not good like the by the third 16 year old you're like

00:09:57.180 negotiating with yourself you go what are the odds it's in the fbi yeah yeah well it's like on have

00:10:03.920 you ever seen catch a predator when like they get this a person a second time it's like i know the

00:10:10.660 drill you're telling me i got caught by scott he has to really play it off he comes in they're like

00:10:17.220 have a seat it's like what's up chris um yeah i guess you guys you still got cookies all right

00:10:22.440 it's it'd be so weird like that you have the guys that walk in there like this is the only time

00:10:26.840 i've ever done it and like you have the guy that was just on a month prior and he's like this is only

00:10:32.040 the second time i've ever done it like i swear the guy walks in he already knows where the cookies are

00:10:36.500 on the counter my favorite was the guy who was like the biggest fan of it and he was like dude i love

00:10:43.400 you chris hansen like i watch your show religiously man i do think it's funny there's probably a lot of

00:10:48.020 people out there who we actually i feel like we kind of weirdly caught some flack some of us for

00:10:51.780 like being pro pedo or pro scott ridder or whatever because like i mean you would think that was the

00:10:56.820 case like you know fucking clint had an episode of this uh this week where he literally read his speech

00:11:00.920 reed just had him on i had daniel mcadams on yesterday and it came up it was kind of a major

00:11:05.380 point of it we didn't really like you know go too deep into it but just kind of covered who he is why

00:11:10.600 he's important you know like should this be something that matters but at the same time here we are

00:11:14.860 roasting about pedo shit uh you know what did dan at the risk of getting serious what did dan

00:11:20.560 mcadams say about it he loves scott ridder he loves everything he did with that 16 year no he

00:11:24.880 he detailed all right in all seriousness he detailed he detailed how important scott ridder was because i

00:11:30.120 didn't know much about him and i'm i'm like i'm not just gonna i'm not gonna research the guy i have

00:11:33.740 too much going i don't care but uh he wouldn't go to details but he just kept saying based over and

00:11:38.860 i was like but what about what about like the charges he's like based uh did you not hear me

00:11:45.960 like what i heard is that it was the last baby that uh ron paul delivered

00:11:50.680 oh dear it's not like a family friend by now then it's you know they go over to this house and

00:12:07.180 stuff anyway so let me let me just so it's some inside baseball for the people listening to whatever

00:12:11.580 um uh this week this is real shit like this this whole the gang almost broke up and it was over like

00:12:19.240 i mean you guys mind if i say it it was just we had like a big it was a big age of consent thing

00:12:24.020 and like nobody could agree the number um but i wanted to son of a bitch you brought it up i wanted

00:12:33.820 to ask dave have you had any like situations like that with legion of six because i can imagine i mean

00:12:38.080 you guys been doing for 10 years or something like that has there been a situation ever like say

00:12:42.080 something you need to go jesus christ loose like you're gonna say that out loud to like people how

00:12:47.020 many uber drivers have to die before you know no entire stand up in your group chat i know you

00:12:52.680 have a group chat or something has it been like one of the guys been like you know what i'm dropping

00:12:56.460 out i just can't do it has this happened to you how did you reconcile it what's going on and what's

00:13:01.560 going on with the fucking small poster behind you dude with it go ahead i don't know i'm moving in

00:13:06.600 i'm building a studio and i should be moving in in the next week or two six months dave what i know

00:13:11.320 it's been taking a long terms that turns out there's fucking supply chain issues is what my

00:13:16.120 god every excuse is always like covid like you order a couch and they're like it'll be there in

00:13:22.640 six months and you're and you're like wait what six months and they're like you know with covid

00:13:26.460 i don't think they're even lying though but anyway but anyway uh we not for a long time we haven't even

00:13:36.180 had like a thought of breaking up legion of skanks but like it's kind of hard it's probably hard for

00:13:41.000 you guys to relate to but we make a lot of money off of the show that we do so we're sponsored by

00:13:46.100 mentos so i mean they were big they're making a comeback i'm sure the fresh maker in the beginning

00:13:52.920 but it was all just like personal it was all just like fights like we got in fucking fights and then

00:13:59.080 we're like fuck you we're not doing i'm not doing this anymore with you um but it was all dumb shit

00:14:04.280 it wasn't like it was never anything like oh you said something that crossed the line or anything

00:14:08.560 like that it was like i'm gonna fucking punch you in your face so i don't want to work with you

00:14:13.100 anymore yeah it's how men handle it yeah yeah well i'm saying it's like uh you cross the line

00:14:18.440 or jay and lewis yeah oh it was never it was never i'm stunned that it was just lewis that was

00:14:23.460 never one single problem hey you know dave keeps keeps taking digs at our audience size and how much

00:14:30.880 money we're making but i don't think he's aware of how good i am at negotiating

00:14:34.120 i actually went into the negotiations with lewis to get us on gas and i said look

00:14:38.040 i don't give a fuck what you pay the rest of the guys in tower gang but i want one dollar more than

00:14:42.920 dave smith gets and he said you got it bud so hate to break it you got it you did you were

00:14:48.680 negotiating like a powerhouse now it was with like a lewis doll that you have in your room

00:14:53.800 you're right it never happened dave god damn it you don't want to know what he does with that thing

00:14:59.860 dude sam sam tripoli introduced me and top on his show when we went on like like as being on gas and

00:15:07.220 then he went this whole big like fucking speech about how this is how i knew i fucking loved you

00:15:12.180 guys as soon as i found out you were on gas i did i showed up to gas studios like a couple when i went

00:15:18.660 to the skanks because i had some business there and uh i was like oh fuck i'm like lewis might like

00:15:23.140 punch me but i was like hey you don't mind that we made the joke or whatever and he was like

00:15:27.780 no no he's like funny first so he found it funny so i thought that was cool and and you know like

00:15:32.260 blind mike blind mike like i walked in and he recognized my voice from the tim cast because

00:15:36.340 i don't think he could see me right he's is he really not blind no but he has like a super sense

00:15:40.020 of hearing so he'll yeah yeah he also has a great gaydar too

00:15:43.140 i think that he's not actually gay and he just accidentally fucks dudes thinking that they're

00:15:57.300 women you don't have that i might i mean i do the same it's just you know they're usually put a wig

00:16:06.580 on so dave i mean all jokes aside um when are you going to bring us to the fold man

00:16:14.180 i i thought you guys were already here man

00:16:17.540 like i know he's like i could see emails you do guys you're well i know lewis likes to position

00:16:23.060 himself as the head but let's be real you're the jew here like come on i know we're going right to the

00:16:26.900 source yeah yeah no i'm i'm i'm the one who's really running the thing and as the person who's

00:16:31.860 really running the thing i'd say talk to lewis he'll get you guys hooked up well there is a

00:16:38.740 little bit of truth to everything and the truth is that we do have a gas studio and we put a lot

00:16:43.380 of jews in it so there is that look david i just want to say real quick that what jose was saying is

00:16:48.100 not a lie sam trippoli was like i love you guys i knew you were fucking meant for big things he was

00:16:53.700 dying on our show he's like he's like this was one of the most fun times i've ever had he wasn't

00:16:57.140 lying he's been on every fucking big comedy podcast in the world and he's the weird thing is

00:17:01.300 like this is the spot his attitude completely flipped when i was like we're not actually on

00:17:04.980 gas digital he was like oh and then he just hung up the call on us the end of the show he said he

00:17:10.180 said we'll reschedule at some point so that's cool but i haven't heard that's why and that's why sam's

00:17:14.420 a successful guy he knows hold them when to fold them all right good good mailbag that's our

00:17:22.820 segue right there get the mailbag up motherfucker wow there's like there's so many people in this group

00:17:27.940 yeah grab the ball sack let's go little dicky please uh naturalist capitalist see you guys later

00:17:33.460 flannel flamer yeah yeah all right ofer asks for tower gang is dave the least consistent

00:17:43.940 podcaster you know i don't know the fuck that means what does that mean oh about like scheduling

00:17:49.940 yeah pretty bad at it yeah oh no you guys don't get the joke what do you know i don't know i don't

00:17:55.220 have a static schedule at all i think dave's very consistent but i don't i don't have like a calendar

00:18:00.420 where i'm checking out like did dave release this day like yeah but dave's under that dave's under

00:18:04.260 that daily wire contract so he's got to do the three days a week if it wasn't i'd say i made 50 million

00:18:12.660 dollars for the year but i have to go to bohemian grove 12 times a month so it's pretty it's yeah

00:18:18.660 you know that sounds like a win-win i only know that the the most consistent podcaster i know is uh

00:18:24.820 fat dave because he's extremely consistent in never doing two and a half takes that's

00:18:30.900 why

00:18:31.380 i got it toad i'm happy we get it just why

00:18:36.660 what was the question they fucked that question go yeah yeah fuck it all right lorenzo asks have

00:18:44.980 y'all ever been a wingman and any of you have any funny stories from said experiences

00:18:51.140 i mean plenty of times but i can't recall right now i feel like there's some favoritism to lorenzo

00:18:55.780 for some reason he keeps getting his mailbag red that's a good question though and i feel like he

00:19:00.260 wasn't sucking him off i mean did dave spent a lot of time i know he spent a lot of time in the clubs

00:19:05.300 or at least comedy clubs with with lewis and jay should we regale uh dave about the time the toad

00:19:10.660 was a wingman we've told that story a million times but no let's oh i we i wingman coal pretty

00:19:15.940 well on that one actually who would be the wingman situation by the way oh that was that was me i set

00:19:21.780 the whole thing up man i got the invite up there can you give a truncated one minute version because

00:19:25.460 i would love to see dave's response yes i'll give the truncated one minute this is like a lewis level

00:19:30.420 story but i was 2000 which you missed dave and you missed this entire thing that's right

00:19:36.100 um you could have been you could have been involved in this whole thing oh

00:19:41.540 that would be uh but um i had a threesome with me my wife and another lady and toad was in the room

00:19:48.900 and we caught toad jerking off to us during the middle of the threesome

00:19:53.940 yeah uh basically it was a foursome didn't really you know just one of them started

00:20:01.460 it wasn't he was it was in a uh in a hotel room with two beds and he was in the other bed

00:20:06.500 jerking off but we were staring staring at dave's staring right at me your eyes yes now

00:20:14.020 it might have been a force then we finished up and in the middle of the night we caught him also

00:20:17.380 pissing onto the floor of the hotel room uh extremely drunk so he ended up he ended up

00:20:23.060 sucking the other woman's tits at by the morning time yeah that's important too but that actually

00:20:28.660 happened very strange she she caught my piss in a bucket then slept in the bed with me and then

00:20:33.300 uh i told her to whip out her titty in the morning and sucked it well at that point she's got no dignity

00:20:38.820 left i don't know i mean that that is like that's like the story that someone tells in a rehab when

00:20:46.260 they're like when i hit rock bottom it's like i was on top of the world that that was my peak my

00:20:54.980 rock bottom is all all my uh gambling stories this this show is my rock bottom but i can still come

00:21:00.420 here every week bottom that was mount everest bitch like that that was up there i know i know you gotta

00:21:06.020 get into a time machine to remember all way way back to like 2015 when you lewis and and jay were

00:21:12.180 were doing this but uh do you have there had to have been similar dynamics you guys are touring

00:21:16.900 comics you have to have fucking weird threesomes where lewis is jerking off in the corner yeah and

00:21:23.380 sometimes there weren't even chicks involved it was just me and lewis in a hotel room

00:21:26.900 just in my apartment lewis was jerking off in the corner there's a real story where just literally

00:21:33.020 lewis was crashing at my apartment and he was and it was like a fucking i mean this is like 15 years

00:21:37.860 ago and it was like a studio apartment and lewis was just sleeping on the couch and i just woke up

00:21:42.740 in the middle of the night and lewis is jerking off on the couch and i was like i i treated him like

00:21:47.140 a dog like i think i hit him over the nose with a newspaper like get in the bathroom get out of here

00:21:55.060 i'll tell you guys a story like every every year when i was like uh like 13 to maybe 16 my cousin from

00:22:01.540 puerto rico came his name was jose a pinheiro figuero he had like seven names there was more

00:22:07.140 names i don't even remember but he would like we would we were young so he would sleep on the same

00:22:11.700 bed as me and one day like i'm facing the wall and he's facing the other way and i just like you

00:22:16.260 hear like like console i'm like what the fuck is going on and he was like jerking off so now i'm

00:22:20.660 thinking it might be like a porter like in the same bed like he's touching like our butts are touching

00:22:25.300 it's the strangest thing and he's jerking i'm like hey dog i know but at the time i was like is this

00:22:30.500 gay like he didn't even think it was gay but i was like i was telling him in spanish i was like

00:22:34.500 you gotta i don't know what you're doing right now but it's in america this is weird

00:22:41.460 yeah you can't have ass to ass and be jerking off and not be gay especially with a relative jesus is

00:22:46.740 it gay or is that just like some weird primal alpha shit like i don't go fuck in my own room yeah

00:22:52.500 i guess he did alpha me because i was like i was awkward i was like i want to leave no i think it's just

00:22:56.420 some fucking poor country shit you all live in the same bedroom and you're still gonna jerk it i

00:23:01.860 mean you're a 14 year old it's kind of it's kind of like gay but kind of dominant like if anyone's

00:23:06.580 the dude and anyone's the lady in that situation he's the dude and you're the lady who's like no

00:23:12.340 please stop i have a similar story freshman year of college i'm in my dorm and i i went to college

00:23:18.580 with my best friend he wasn't actually in college but it was like you could be in the dorm but not go to

00:23:22.980 college i don't know how the fuck that worked but he was in there and i did mushrooms and i was like

00:23:27.540 so horny and i don't know why but i i have my bed his bed's you know 10 feet away or whatever

00:23:33.220 and i'm like i'm i'm having hallucinations that like if i fantasize while jerking off i can actually

00:23:39.220 like it's like lucid dreaming almost and i was like i can't stop i mean i'm like i've never had this

00:23:44.660 happen in my life and i have my fucking best friend 10 feet away and he's like he he goes hey

00:23:50.260 you should do it nothing then i wait like five minutes for him to fall asleep and i go right

00:23:57.940 back to it i did that for like at least an hour and a half i swear to god it was so

00:24:01.060 fucked up with me i don't know if there's like a punchline to that story other than just say i'm

00:24:03.940 a weirdo i do remember there was listen if we're telling stories i used to when i was in college i was

00:24:08.660 uh i wrestled uh it was at the university of pennsylvania and one day uh this coach his name was uh

00:24:13.860 coach sandusky he had some kids there he was like you guys want to wrestle and okay no this is

00:24:31.460 these assholes didn't even catch the sandusky line jesus christ no i got it i got it right

00:24:36.900 that's how that's how unrealistic it was that i wrestled in college everyone went wait a minute

00:24:42.420 this is bullshit i got it because uh because everybody gives me shit for saying that sandusky

00:24:47.060 didn't do it so i don't give you shit for that that's a that's a conspiracy right or i i don't

00:24:53.460 even know maybe just the real thing i think i think it's based that's what sandusky didn't do it

00:24:59.620 michael jackson didn't do it r kelly didn't do it bill cosby didn't do it correct and eliza blue is

00:25:03.620 also a victim eliza blue is completely innocent yeah and kanye was right scott ritter kanye was

00:25:08.740 100 right dave i've been waiting for like six months to tell you this he was right you were

00:25:13.220 wrong i'm part of the problem you're consistent but you were wrong this time it went right over

00:25:17.860 your head man you're just not getting the jq dog and you don't get it also did nothing wrong that's

00:25:22.260 really what we need we need fucking kong he really gets it he's gonna at least run for president dave i

00:25:29.220 mean jesus no he's not going to i think he is no he's gonna run for fewer

00:25:47.540 fortunately we won't have to vote for him we'll just take power oh no i want to i want to hear the

00:25:52.020 end of this wrestling story because he did get i just i just i stopped on that because it was like

00:25:56.260 i have you still not gotten it oh no i thought there was more god damn it i thought there was

00:26:03.140 more i thought he was actually about to tell us like a jerk-off story i was like okay yeah look

00:26:06.740 this is this is the plasma effect that's gone i actually have another one where i was at uh i

00:26:12.100 believe it was my friend's ex-girlfriend's birthday party and he was there as well one of my friends

00:26:17.540 from high school this was i think post-college at this point we're at her place there are a bunch

00:26:22.260 of people there and my friend wound up having a threesome with two other chicks not his ex even

00:26:28.340 though it was at his ex's place and i was doing the cinnamon challenge during it

00:26:34.500 that makes perfect sense that story that story definitely tracks the cinnamon challenge where

00:26:39.060 you have that tablespoon of cinnamon you try to swallow it without water right right right yeah

00:26:42.580 i i succeed and a lot of things are swallowed you have girls upstairs gagging for good reasons and

00:26:46.980 you're downstairs gagging for a retarded reason this makes perfect sense oh no no no they were like in

00:26:51.220 the room next to it one of my favorite stories is i know jay tells that he's on at least it's

00:26:56.260 on uh this is not happening it's the one where uh lewis is fucking the asian girl and then the

00:27:01.700 his dog comes up and starts licking her ass while dave and uh jay are watching through a window that is

00:27:09.700 the only one i could think of people make up stories for comedy yeah i forgot jay embellishes a

00:27:16.820 little bit with the story you know at the i'll just say that at the time no one considered that

00:27:22.740 story to be rape

00:27:29.300 but today there's these new standards where you're like what you're describing as a sexual assault

00:27:35.380 and like i don't it doesn't matter because i was never actually a part of it it's just a made-up story

00:27:39.540 but it's just interesting how the standards change over time yeah i think brian redband has told that exact

00:27:45.300 story too so i think it's just like one of those old wives tales that goes around

00:27:50.020 all right what's the next question little diggy yeah all right jc says this episode needs to be

00:27:56.180 dedicated to finding toad a valentine y'all are not real wingmen if you can't make this happen for the

00:28:01.780 homie february 15th you piece of shit yeah we have it for next year

00:28:09.220 guys this is actually a good point here so little dicky uh i need you to drop out and i need you to

00:28:13.940 pull up um the first segment revolver to your mouth please pull up that graphic all right one

00:28:21.620 second yeah we do this every episode dave there we go kill toad so in this segment we've already

00:28:26.660 we've already said how we do it but like obviously you've been around him enough to know that he's

00:28:31.140 almost completely intolerable he's referencing we want to know how you would kill him in the

00:28:36.980 most creative way or whatever pops into your head that's the that's the first segment that

00:28:40.900 knee-jerk reaction yes all right if i had to kill toad which i don't want to do but if i had to kill

00:28:46.900 him i would just have all of his best friends have threesomes right on top of him until he smothered to

00:28:54.100 death smothered by friends threesomes and he would my god i can't breathe and tapping out for a while

00:29:02.340 he would really he would really go out like uh like uh some like like like some like i can't

00:29:08.980 breathe champions when the the antelopes could run over him or whatever you know i'm wondering why

00:29:15.220 a real george floyd he'd be crying for his mom he'd be like it'd be a whole dude i'm not i'm not gonna

00:29:22.020 lie like top top was like i want to like hang him upside down and like do like little micro paper cuts

00:29:27.860 until he bleeds out and and what you just said is like a thousand times worse you have a virgin

00:29:33.620 who is being smothered by threesomes that's just are you a virgin well only if sex with men doesn't

00:29:41.220 count yeah no of course not but does that are you actually a virgin you haven't had sex ever yes

00:29:47.860 wow wait is this the first time that that's actually been admitted

00:29:54.420 basically said it but not said it but always i think we try to always go around this is why this

00:29:59.540 is why you assign us like really sign us digital we're trying to get big so we can just get this

00:30:04.740 guy laid that's it we're trying to get to new york i don't need the money dave this is about getting

00:30:09.860 toad just a crumb a pussy well it is you got a million dollars in the bank you can't just like

00:30:16.260 hire him a hooker look i i would buy him a hooker he wants to be loved i don't have enough money to

00:30:20.980 make about it yeah it's gotta be organic for that hearing that was like hearing that the united states

00:30:26.980 blew up the nordstrom pipeline it was like yeah what is karen tian doing these days it has to be

00:30:31.860 organic dave we can't just like fucking force this on him we have to follow it it's our only hope yeah

00:30:37.380 we need i also do want to say uh i don't think toe could be killed with that many threesomes his

00:30:41.700 boner would literally lift up everybody off of him yeah that's true all all two inches of that airspace

00:30:47.220 like cole's admitting that my uh cock is a decent size but i'm i'm kind of uh surprised that our last

00:30:54.100 two guests have have killed me in a way that would actually just give me a huge boner yeah

00:31:01.060 i'm sorry i can't move i can't move past this do you are you trying to get laid man

00:31:08.180 no uh no not that's not true you're in the end you just give up you know yeah

00:31:17.940 so you've you've never had sex and you don't want to do you want to yes okay

00:31:25.540 so what's what's happening here dave he said could have sex last week we asked him uh if i think if i

00:31:32.740 i said i said a joke that like lewis would sign us if uh he said but the only condition is that that

00:31:37.540 he would take your virginity and he said actually he'd prefer you to take his virginity but that's

00:31:42.100 gay i don't even know if that is does that even count no that doesn't count

00:31:46.980 are you saying gay guys are virgins they're just if they only take it yeah virgin yeah actually yeah

00:31:52.900 newborn even if they're giving it i think the virginity is a race with the vagina but that's just my

00:31:58.100 opinion look uh you are you are the traditional christian in the group no no that's what i was

00:32:04.020 gonna say i'm a christian dave it's the whole thing like i will only i will only fuck for the

00:32:08.820 purposes of procreation so we don't want those jeans getting out please don't look at some point

00:32:16.340 at some point i feel like you're gonna impregnate someone just walking past you on the street like

00:32:20.340 i just you got it you have to you have to let me buy you a prostitute you got it how old are you

00:32:26.580 how old are you toad 37 yeah let clint buy you a prostitute just get it out of the way so it's not

00:32:35.940 even like a thing with the next chick you're trying to bang it's like yeah whatever i'm telling you

00:32:40.180 like once you once you fuck one chick for money then you'll just have all these other chicks that are

00:32:44.580 like oh i can sense that all the rest of the chicks for money anyway guys listen i have a

00:32:52.500 surprise for you guys this is so this is the day after valentine's day and i made a nice graphic

00:32:57.140 this one is cold uh go ahead pull it up a little dicky this is called a love toad i believe wow

00:33:05.700 we've been really hard on this guy and i just want to go around the circle here and you have to

00:33:09.620 sheath underwear yeah that's right yeah it looks like a like a libertarian it's and cap it's and

00:33:16.260 cap sheath underwear that was from josh smith's table at uh reno so we're sponsored by sheath too

00:33:22.100 they don't know it yet that package is not impressive i'd like you to back out thank you

00:33:27.460 all right let's go around the table jose jose uh uh you know i said it from the beginning i know

00:33:32.740 everyone likes a clown on him for the three-way story but like when you understand the context i really

00:33:37.300 do think he did like the most doodliest of things and like and like he didn't make it weird he like

00:33:43.300 didn't try to creep away and like run away he like didn't try to get in the three-way you know to

00:33:47.940 fuck up his homies three-way and then just like also just the the big dick energy of just then after

00:33:53.540 just like piss on the floor make the bitch clean it up fucking sucking her titty after like i i don't

00:33:58.420 know like i just deep down inside he's just got that dog in him so and he's a good good home you know

00:34:03.620 so yeah you kind of jose kind of won me over with that like when i first heard that story

00:34:09.700 it sounded kind of weird but i didn't know you were a virgin at that point and now looking back

00:34:13.460 on it i'm like that's the closest to getting laid you've ever been and that was like pretty much like

00:34:18.020 you basically fucked that night basically it's close yeah uh it is touching rim but not dunking hey

00:34:27.780 and and as we said i said i set that situation up for cole so there you go so i i was apparently

00:34:34.340 did apparently they were well my wife was very drunk important context dave that's why i say he

00:34:40.740 did like he literally got blackout drunk woke up to them fucking in front of yes that changes the

00:34:46.020 whole social dynamic like you just literally became conscious in front of a three-way like what do you

00:34:50.420 do such a weird laundry you know so i think you made the best choice of that happening at tom woods

00:35:00.820 did you watch it i mean at the end he was like listen i want all you guys listening to get out

00:35:04.580 there fuck because i don't care who you fuck just when i was alone in toad's room because he was in

00:35:12.500 he was in cold yeah he was alone in toad's room so that wasn't in your room toad no it was in the

00:35:18.900 other it was the other it was the other woman's room yeah i was the night prior i was transitioning

00:35:24.420 from one quasi girlfriend to a real girlfriend so we all had weird and then the next night i had

00:35:30.500 another half threesome with the quality girlfriend yes the one that has an amazing story that he can't

00:35:36.340 tell because you'll have a lot of women mad at him but yeah never tell him that one was one of

00:35:40.420 lots of craziest like weekends of my life hey guys because it's so funny because it's behind the

00:35:46.260 most that's right it's your it's your turn go ahead cole why do you love toad yeah oh i i love toad

00:35:52.100 because i mean he this is legitimate from my heart legitimately toad was always from the beginning

00:35:57.140 of the group chat one of my best friends in the group chat and we started the podcast because of

00:36:01.540 me and him uh and so that's why i love to and also he did you know he kept me going during that

00:36:08.100 threesome i mean i look over and i have something to work for because i like i just don't want to be

00:36:12.020 like that and so that other girl dave if you saw you're sitting there you got you got two chicks on

00:36:16.740 top of you you're like i can't keep a boner this isn't it

00:36:19.060 you just didn't want to let me down man that's you see that flared up mushroom tip and you're

00:36:26.740 like i'm ready to rock again uh no i had i had a uh similar call toad i have a similar reason for

00:36:32.580 loving toad um i feel like comparatively like in our sphere he has turned me into a sex icon because

00:36:39.220 like i'm not that good looking but like comparatively they're like whoa uh no i think i think what i really

00:36:44.820 love about toad is that his autism is so sincere and deep that he he is a continuous well of joy

00:36:51.540 for me because i get to fuck with him constantly and he never gets it and he's so defensive even

00:36:56.500 though i'm like i'm obviously joking and everybody else in this group chat completely gets that i'm

00:37:00.580 kidding and he's like no i have to fucking correct clint right here so that's really fun uh i also think

00:37:06.020 he's very funny despite the fact that he bombs on this show week after week it's incredible he's

00:37:10.820 not the last two man that's what honestly dropping bangers that's what legion of skanks is actually

00:37:16.340 missing i mean i'm glad you're here to hear this dave you're missing somebody who is so intensely

00:37:20.180 unfunny that it really like it it adds like a certain flavor profile to what you guys are doing

00:37:25.620 and Mike figs permanently i thought you said

00:37:29.620 shots fired i'd say i'd say i love i love toad because so my my real best friend in actual real

00:37:42.660 life not you guys your online friends my best friend um we were at pork fest and and toad came

00:37:48.420 up my best friend is like he's autistic and he's really awkward and toad came up to us at pork fest yes

00:37:54.980 he is oh and you made the situation you made the situation so awkward that he was about to pass out

00:38:04.500 it was crazy it was like he he's always awkward his awkward is at 10 and you came and made it at

00:38:09.860 20 like we bought pizza and toad came up he's like what's up and we don't even know him at that point

00:38:14.900 he's like you guys got pizza and we're like yeah and then he just eats like half our pizza and i was

00:38:20.260 just laughing the whole time he's like this guy is so autistic it's crazy i don't remember that

00:38:24.420 happening i know you don't but that shit was so funny man and to me i'll never forget it if you

00:38:29.700 ask my friend he's like yeah totally half our pizza it was just the greatest shit like no boundaries

00:38:34.660 and i was like oh this is my people so i was like all right this guy i don't know what's

00:38:40.980 autism is like normally people that are autistic are uncomfortable in like public settings but toad's so

00:38:46.980 autistic that he makes everybody else uncomfortable it's almost a superpower i like it's crazy it's

00:38:52.260 it's almost like reverse autism in a way like you create everybody else's autism the way i remember

00:38:57.700 those that top recognized who i was and he was like fanboying out because he was such a big fan of

00:39:02.180 tower game that's how you remember i said hey i like your show what's up and he was like he's like

00:39:08.100 yeah what's up we can't eat my pizza i was like this is great it's great we can't we can't skip over

00:39:13.060 dave here dave you're you're a professional you can certainly lie and say that you love toad for

00:39:17.140 some reason i think he does love toad yeah so wait what's what's the question oh you have to pretend

00:39:22.100 that you love him for some reason why do you love why do you love him why do i love toad i don't really

00:39:29.300 i mean i don't really know him all right all right all right all right i'll try it okay let me

00:39:38.900 sorry i just caught off guard work up to it a little okay why do i love toad okay for uh

00:39:48.820 a clearly autistic libertarian virgin to be a member of our camp of libertarianism

00:39:56.500 yeah it's so rare like you so clearly belong in the like fucking dave's nazi camp that like what

00:40:05.380 the fact that you chose to come over here the only one who's never been laid who's still over here with

00:40:11.780 us is like told you he's got that dog in him like i want i want to make it my mission in life to get

00:40:17.380 you laid like and it's i it really shouldn't even be that hard no i i love it because like it's so easy

00:40:24.900 for dave to just pick up the phone and tell lewis to sign us and he won't do it but like that's all

00:40:29.300 it would take i'd never do that but i will i will try to get toad laid all right the reason i joined

00:40:37.300 your camp of libertarianism is because i did think you were a nazi though wait wait he's not he's not

00:40:45.780 what i'm trying to say is i love you because you get it

00:40:48.100 all that aside there's how is it that you're even like i don't know i mean you you're kind of

00:40:57.060 within this dumb little world that we have you have some status just use that hoard that over one of

00:41:03.620 these girls convince one of these new chicks who's coming up in the game that you can get

00:41:08.500 or something i don't know dude tell tell operation uh the fed spandex that you can help her

00:41:14.660 career yeah let's go kalina the funny part to me is that i feel like toad correct me if i'm wrong

00:41:21.300 but you've been in like every bit of dave's like uh you were in that facebook group like when it

00:41:26.420 started and yeah the part of the problem inner circle yeah so he's he's like always been there

00:41:31.940 and dave's like i have no clue who this person dude this is no joke dude i i knew that i don't know

00:41:37.060 i mean i don't remember what was your name in that group everyone had like different

00:41:40.340 fucking dox yourself please well i'm not doxing myself that was where you work and live

00:41:46.340 your real name or did you have my name my name is uh cody duncan actually

00:41:53.060 that laugh made me want to kill you all over again i can i could say his name because uh dave

00:41:58.180 refuted him on his show at one point so no that wasn't him that was somebody else

00:42:02.500 no no no no i loved him kyle kyle was the shit but like in a spurg racist way i meant kyle

00:42:10.500 kyle was doing big things weirdly weirdly way ahead of all the like uh post-libertarian

00:42:16.980 like camp he was making all their same arguments way before they were and they were equally dumb

00:42:21.940 back then i found him in his retardedness i know we don't want to get political but is it not funny

00:42:28.260 to see that post-libertarianism has just like i feel like i i mean just you know you know why it's

00:42:33.940 falling over because they don't have enough sand to to prop up the the the pole by which society

00:42:41.780 well there's but that thing was always kind of like it's like with a lot of this shit it's like it was

00:42:47.220 always what what they're like i don't mean to be a dick but in terms of like the energy they had

00:42:53.540 what their strength was drawn off of was that they were going against the thing that was happening while

00:42:59.540 it was happening so that kind of like made it like oh this is the the thing going against that and then

00:43:05.220 just after a while it just kind of like fell off like it just it and i kind of knew it was going to

00:43:10.740 happen which is why i didn't spend too much time on it because you were like uh this is just not

00:43:14.980 there's really nothing there and i don't think people are going to latch on to it uh respectfully

00:43:19.380 dave orthodox christianity is the way they've been they've been very clear with me about that so

00:43:25.780 dave out of context what you just described sounded exactly like libertarianism you know it's like well

00:43:30.500 it's the thing that kind of like opposes whatever's going on and then it kind of drops off and

00:43:40.580 about the post-libertarians like hitler they did make some good points

00:43:43.780 that's what i'll say about it yeah and also like hitler they do keep my poll up so

00:43:50.180 well toad i love you because you know as a currently single dude with a libertarian podcast

00:43:56.420 i realize things can get a lot worse when i look at you um and also that was kind of a clint already

00:44:02.820 said but i know but uh what what i love about you is how you can you can entertain a crowd of people

00:44:10.100 anywhere we go by talking about a shit you took in the morning or something like

00:44:15.620 i forget who else i think it was clint was saying yeah it was me to annoy every or no no it was top

00:44:19.860 saying you annoy everyone but i don't see it that way everyone is like so fascinated with what you're

00:44:24.500 saying when it's just the dumbest shit in the world and you can talk about it for 15 minutes and you'll

00:44:28.500 have a crowd of people following you around i've always admired that about yeah those stories that you

00:44:32.180 tell at reno in particular they're excruciating none of us there wasn't there wasn't you have a

00:44:37.620 crowd every time he's he's the jesus christ of our time he's a virgin of people around there wasn't one

00:44:43.700 ounce of funny in that story and you told it seven times like full length every i don't even remember

00:44:48.740 which story this was oh oh yeah don't say it it's about how your your hotel was bad and your

00:44:54.580 let him let him retell it now let him retell it now but dicky please mute his mic

00:45:01.620 it's like basically his like any stories are like a seinfeld bit but without like the actual

00:45:06.420 like funny you know just like just going just like let me tell you about my toaster

00:45:12.020 long story short was that i really had to like take a huge dump and i and i held it in for that

00:45:17.700 final like vote that we had that like

00:45:28.820 okay guys listen i had a third segment set up but i really i just don't want to do it i don't even

00:45:32.900 want to show the graphic for the third segment but i kind of wanted to move into something that

00:45:37.140 dave could probably hit on a little bit so little dicky can you pull up the picture that i sent you to

00:45:41.300 to pull this up dave i know you're like a big like parenting guy and so am i sort of even though i'm

00:45:46.900 real i'm just i'm done with with the kids shit but whatever you know we're good so anyway this is

00:45:51.060 my son okay so a couple weeks ago i this is this week actually he was really sick he couldn't

00:45:57.220 shit we bought him take an x-ray and they said oh he's got shit all backed up in him but right

00:46:00.660 there this happened like two days ago or three days ago x-ray to find out he was constipated it was it

00:46:05.620 was really i've been there if you can take that picture the same shit take that picture how old are your kids

00:46:10.500 yeah no but i mean just take a look at it though because that thing is about eight inches long

00:46:15.620 and it's sticking out of the water that's my boy yeah and i don't listen you know i'm i know

00:46:21.060 everyone here that has kids you're proud of your kids but your kids don't do that my kids do that

00:46:25.940 and i just wanted to um to show you i gotta be honest i feel like that wasn't enough to justify

00:46:33.620 taking a fucking x-ray like did you feed him prunes or something like just that seems like

00:46:38.100 no it was fine if that's impressive to you that's great but like for me that was just kind of like

00:46:44.420 that's tuesday yeah that was not you were bragging about this and i'm telling you my my daughter used

00:46:49.220 to drop like two or three times that size she was this weird period where she would like but

00:46:53.700 probably somewhere in like two to five ish range i forget how old she was where she just like hated

00:46:58.020 pooping and like she wouldn't poop and she'd go like a week or two or sometimes even more without

00:47:02.660 pooping and then when she did these huge fucking asshole splitting like logs and like but then

00:47:07.940 like obviously she'd be like she'd be freaking the fuck out like she's giving birth at her asshole

00:47:12.420 because she is and like i know it's just like this vicious cycle that reinforces itself because then

00:47:17.860 now she's like poop bad poop her and then she's like i'm really like it's just like for me as a

00:47:24.020 father just fucking poop no i gotta i gotta i gotta house party story i gotta tell real quick so we're

00:47:30.420 at a house party and that reminded you that

00:47:37.060 on that note on that note i gotta go i gotta really really hot two-year-olds at this house

00:47:45.220 no all right so i'm at this house party and and this guy comes out of the bathroom because we're

00:47:49.380 like oh i think we're like 18 19 years old he comes out of the bathroom and he goes yo

00:47:53.780 come look at this all right all right let's fucking see what's happening i walk into the bathroom and

00:47:58.420 like i check it out and then i come back out and i tell everybody oh come look at this this is

00:48:02.180 fucking incredible and we all walk in there and it's like 20 people all like just crowded in this

00:48:07.140 bathroom looking into this fucking toilet and i i shit you not there is a shit that is

00:48:12.900 this big but it's a perfect sphere so it came out it came out like a bowling ball out of someone's

00:48:19.060 ass and for the life of me to this day i have no fucking clue how it happened the only thing we

00:48:24.580 could conclude there's this one girl that we knew that liked anal so we were theorizing that

00:48:29.220 she probably got her shit packed so hard that it like created some sort of spherical turn i still

00:48:33.620 don't know how it exited though because it was so it was so big no human being could do it without

00:48:39.140 actually dying so i like if anybody if anybody's watching this and figures it out please let me

00:48:44.020 know wait a moment to indicate the end of times is what i think that was it was horrific

00:48:49.380 such a gay dude's shit spherically then i have no idea toad you tell me

00:48:53.940 they're just spherical

00:48:59.380 no i think they're normal i don't know that was an interesting story though it kind of sounds like

00:49:02.820 maybe that was like the big bang for like a whole shit universe like that was like how they started

00:49:10.500 it was so big i'm not even exaggerating it was so big that you're like it just made no sense

00:49:16.020 we could the guy called you in he had not produced this he was just like i i happened to pawn this

00:49:21.380 yeah honestly if it was him that did it great cover because i walked in there and i believe that would

00:49:26.260 be that would be the greatest cover ever if you just if you just produced that shit and then you were

00:49:30.820 like dude dude you gotta see this i just came in here we're just found this wiped a little bit and

00:49:36.580 then i came out to get you so like what's going on we're just part of this story no toilet paper in the

00:49:41.700 bowl just a bowling ball shit one bowling ball shit no toilet paper well you know you know

00:49:48.260 like maybe he was like playing with like you play with snow or something like that and like creating

00:49:52.500 like a shit ball or trying to create like a uh david tell used to have a joke about that

00:49:59.620 he's like you know when you uh when you shit when you have a shit where you wipe and there's nothing

00:50:05.780 there oh yeah it's called every now and then you take the perfect shit

00:50:12.420 she took and it's just like now it all came out it all came out perfect

00:50:16.180 dropped an egg basically so the rest of the night we're trying to figure out how to flush it because

00:50:20.660 it's so it's so big and it's so dense it's so big and so dense that like we can't break the

00:50:24.900 motherfucker up so we eventually go out and we get a full-on stick from the yard and i

00:50:29.380 fucking break this thing into like four pieces and it still took like three flushes i'm telling you it's

00:50:34.180 superhuman like if there was a i think the guinness book existed back then if i had called them they

00:50:38.260 probably have been like you're out of your mind and hung up on me but it uh it would have won an

00:50:41.780 award for sure i think the real question clint is where is this stick we're gonna have to lab test

00:50:49.060 that yes can i sniff this stick you think if it was a guy like as i know cole says when he shits

00:50:54.740 he gets boners yeah well imagine the boner this guy might have had like if he probably couldn't

00:50:58.740 even get off the toilet bowl because it would have went in right yeah that's that's pretty insane

00:51:03.540 i did uh i just recently maybe a week ago or two weeks ago i uh i did clog like at a monster

00:51:11.140 shit and clogged a toilet bowl in a hotel room which is awkward because they don't have fucking

00:51:17.460 plungers or nothing so you're just like fuck and i gotta i like i had to call down i was there for

00:51:22.580 another two days i was in was i either i gotta call that hour now or i know i i just i was like i have to

00:51:29.460 call down and of course at the desk like i call down and it's so uncomfortable and of course i get

00:51:34.580 the youngest chick black woman you could get like no not even a black woman just a very white like

00:51:40.100 kind of hi how can i help you and like you could help me by telling you me if there's a dude around

00:51:45.940 you have a big hairy man nearby that i can ask you wouldn't believe i don't know in my room and

00:51:54.900 shit there was just a voice on the phone so i was like hey my toilet's clogged and then uh they they're

00:52:02.500 like oh i'm so sorry about that we'll send someone right up and they just of course they send up this

00:52:06.820 sad mexican dude you just gotta stand there in the room while he like plunges your shit like please just

00:52:12.420 give me the plunger like i'll do it i don't need to be this guy and i i gave him a hundred dollars

00:52:18.020 it's just so uncomfortable i was like here here i'm so sorry i'm gonna i'm gonna quit my job and

00:52:23.700 become dave's personal plunger like this was this your first night in the hotel or

00:52:30.820 or because i would 100 go you know i just finally got around to going to the bathroom and then

00:52:37.620 lo and behold i had been there for a couple nights already there was no i don't know there

00:52:43.860 was no pretending no one was gonna come in and see the room and be like oh you just got here like i

00:52:48.980 had been there so inquisitive minds need to ask that so this was the size of the ship bigger than

00:52:55.540 the size of your erect penis because there are fables out there going on i just i just want to know

00:52:59.380 oh could you could you flush your dick down a toilet oh what's your ass yes yes that's not

00:53:07.460 like fucking anything like what do you think i'm working with i bro i don't fucking know we don't

00:53:11.940 know lewis and james though very tiny dicks i don't have no oh yeah yeah no definitely bigger than that

00:53:20.100 okay so if the dick size is bell curve on legion of skanks you're like in the middle of the bell curve

00:53:24.900 but they're just way off on one side it's really so when they look to you they just see the middle

00:53:29.460 of the bell curve yeah it's like five and a half inches yeah so it's the perfect representation for

00:53:34.980 where my intelligence is in the libertarian world yes everyone else is just retarded

00:53:41.140 very smart that makes total sense i i think i have a uh probably worse uh shit story i completely forgot

00:53:47.300 about this uh when i was here we go so as as you guys as you guys know i don't think any of you guys

00:53:53.540 have heard this before as you guys know i had a stroke in 2011 so i was i didn't know that i

00:54:00.100 didn't know any i didn't know you were a virgin you had a stroke 82 what's happening yes in downs

00:54:07.780 years he's 82 yes i'm an 82 year old virgin yes uh i was on so they put me on the stroke floor of

00:54:14.420 this hospital and i was there for like five days so it's me i'm like 26 and i'm with all these like

00:54:20.020 70 year old men i'm the only one who isn't and they had me on like blood thinners and the shit

00:54:25.620 they usually put you on for um yeah for the stroke and i was already yeah i was already on

00:54:31.060 blood pressure it's whatever so at one point they accidentally uh mixed in like the other like old

00:54:36.580 people meds with mine and it gave me like a huge dose of laxative and i shit myself in the bed

00:54:43.300 and like basically like the hottest nurse on the floor had to come in and clean it oh my god i had

00:54:49.620 no choice man i can't i can't figure out why you're still a virgin this is weird

00:54:56.420 i did a speaking uh i was still hotter than all the old people well i was thinking about before

00:55:02.180 before you told the shit story uh dave on his most recent uh part of the problem live which go watch

00:55:06.820 it it's really good mentioned that uh you think the government is going to stage an alien invasion

00:55:11.220 and i was wondering your thoughts on that project blue bean baby um i'm not saying they're going to

00:55:17.300 stage an alien invasion but i'm just saying they do seem to be setting that up like you know like i

00:55:23.860 don't know there's what what is the story here that for for since basically the covid shit's been going

00:55:29.780 on the pentagon has been drip dripping out that like oh by the way aliens are real like no big deal

00:55:35.940 but like aliens are real and uh no one has any pictures of them or anything but the pentagon's

00:55:41.300 seen them and we have pictures that come from a 1999 nokia phone but like don't just take our word

00:55:47.140 for it and then just even over the last couple weeks they're like oh we've shot down a bunch of ufos

00:55:52.580 and uh we haven't recovered any parts like there's it's just anytime the government just like presents

00:55:57.780 this narrative with zero evidence to back it up you're like yeah so aliens are about as likely as

00:56:03.140 iranian nukes is what you're saying they're like in that level of almost that unlikely almost

00:56:09.300 benjamin zanyahu has like a cartoon of marvin the martian

00:56:16.020 i was talking about this with like uh like family friends of mine recently and they were like they're

00:56:22.260 like oh what do you think is this like are the aliens coming to invade and i was like okay so

00:56:27.860 just think about this right like if you're saying there were objects in the sky shot down

00:56:34.260 and you're saying what do you think they're they're an alien species from millions of light years away

00:56:40.420 that have figured out their technology is so far advanced from ours like that we can't even

00:56:45.300 comprehend it but they could come to our you know they could travel here but yet they can't avoid being

00:56:50.580 shot down by our f-15s like what are the odds of that versus the odds versus the odds of it's you

00:56:59.220 know our own government just lying to us or it's a secret military operation that the aviation you know

00:57:06.100 patrol doesn't know about or it's chinese weather balloons or it's like something you go the odds are

00:57:12.340 millions of times less likely like like millions of times more likely is that it's any other scenario than

00:57:18.820 that so you're gonna look you're gonna look so dumb when the aliens really come but here's the

00:57:25.220 good thing here's the good thing about betting against the alien invasion once it comes it really

00:57:30.420 doesn't matter whether you called it or not i just i just want to i just want to uh see dave try to

00:57:34.980 explain rothbard to aliens he's just like no no wait i don't think you understand like this guy was

00:57:38.900 pretty cool i feel like the aliens are gonna come and know about it already they're like so who reads

00:57:44.820 rothbard here that guy that would be the craziest like wait a second y'all are doing democracy

00:57:52.740 that's how they determine who gets to live and die did you guys see that news story in 2020 that

00:57:58.340 the like head of the israeli um here we go no no no no it's definitely uh the head of the israeli

00:58:07.460 the lpnh tweets all over again jesus christ space lasers they said there was like this galactic

00:58:14.020 federation that the united states and israeli governments had been uh talking to and the aliens

00:58:20.660 after uh there were nine species of aliens yeah they decided they didn't want humans to be part of

00:58:26.740 their galactic federation that was where i was most convinced that the story was true is like okay if i

00:58:31.940 were those aliens and i was like surveying us in 2020 i would have been like yeah no we don't want

00:58:37.220 those and you know it's not really story it's really not fair though because uh interview that

00:58:42.740 aired on the aliens on television the aliens are just judging us off of 13 of our population so

00:58:48.900 that's not fair i'd like a redo and then about 52 percent of the time

00:58:53.300 what if what they're shooting down isn't like the isn't like the peak of the aliens technology

00:59:11.380 though but it's like i don't know they're turds or something and we're shooting those down but it

00:59:14.980 is still aliens so respectfully respectfully like we could all die in a nuclear holocaust tomorrow so

00:59:19.540 like if you don't let me buy you a hooker i i like what are we doing here that's what makes me

00:59:25.940 why why why can't i i'll do it tonight yeah there are a lot of reasons i might die yeah within like

00:59:31.060 you know we'll have this chick will show up tonight and he'll get you a good one he's not

00:59:37.140 even going to skimp yeah let's get it over i'll throw i'll throw a fucking g down just to get

00:59:41.460 your fucking dick sucked for the love of god a g would get you probably a whole night with you know

00:59:45.700 uh mark ran if he can get you pussy for free don't that's right he already offered so he's

00:59:51.620 a pimp i didn't know he's he's like a legitimate pimp we have groupies to tower gang you plenty of

00:59:57.220 them will to fuck you but you just won't do it because they won't marry you what is this pristine

01:00:01.700 attitude you actually is that the issue you want to wait for marriage yeah oh i didn't know that was

01:00:09.860 the issue yeah you faggot okay hold on wait i i just can kind of i can kind of respect that

01:00:16.900 i mean it's cute in your 20s and respect a woman it's cute so what is it

01:00:22.740 so is are you are you a super religious guy no

01:00:28.820 it's that one thing one question that never thought it would be asked on this he just really

01:00:35.140 loves procreation in the simplest form he's just like that's right the only it's for marriage i

01:00:39.940 just kept on that one shred of religion that allowed me to cope

01:00:46.980 guys it's just he was because i know you grew up christian and so much of it just caught on to

01:00:51.220 that it was just like no no fuck you guys i get what toad is saying there needs to be a mental

01:00:56.500 connection there needs to be like a spiritual connection for him to be erect and do the deed i i get

01:01:02.180 it no no i have a boss you're telling me every time you have sex with your wife there's a spiritual

01:01:06.420 connection because i'm married i know there's i can't stand her no i don't know no no no

01:01:13.140 look if toad's looking for a mental connection he's gonna have to start dating on short buses

01:01:17.060 no i mean i was like that damn hide clip is like you need to stop looking for a woman that like

01:01:21.380 fits you completely what you need because you know who that is it's a man a man with ass burgers

01:01:26.340 us us dude well if you think about it if you're if you're thinking about like the glass slippers

01:01:30.980 being like the pussy that like perfectly fits your dick that would actually be your dick inverted so

01:01:36.500 it'd be like the the cinderella mussy they don't make pussy that small though yeah

01:01:43.140 a shallow pussy that's a pussy with a half a tampon stick can't even bottom out my

01:01:47.700 pussy

01:01:50.660 oh this is mean yo i'm not even talking with you dog i'm gonna buy you a hooker this is so

01:01:55.460 fucking gay you're like like i'm not even lying dude it's really fucking cute to like wait for

01:01:59.540 marriage in your 20s you're 37 bruh like we gotta get this shit let's fucking go dog come on guys

01:02:06.100 this is a lot of jump over the hump and then get back to real life yeah i agree like it would it

01:02:12.340 would help your fucking sports betting too just for the record it would help everything i i i know

01:02:16.580 i'm legitimately concerned though if he does get laid he loses like that because he's like has this

01:02:22.100 autistic thing he's held on for 37 years cool yeah i think something within him would change if he

01:02:28.100 does get pussy you know how dumb he would be though if he like the very next episode after

01:02:31.300 he comes on and he's just like he's like yo y'all don't make fun of me anymore all right

01:02:39.940 that's right talk about it's like it's like high school over again with the with the first 14 year

01:02:45.300 old that got laid let me just tell dave maybe this will impress dave but like we have like uh

01:02:50.900 spreadsheets and stuff like that about topics we've got times we've got we're organized we don't need

01:02:56.180 any of the back end stuff that gas digital offers we don't need uh promotions i do that

01:03:01.860 this is a sales pitch we don't need any of that shit what we need is an uncensored platform and and

01:03:07.220 also we just can't have toad getting laid because all that stuff that i mentioned is just go that's

01:03:11.460 gone once he gets pussy it's over dude dude i would become so retarded

01:03:18.740 dave i don't know if you know this he went through a pickup artist stage so he did the early 2000s he

01:03:24.500 went through the whole like uh so much effort it was it was like the late 2000s who was the

01:03:30.420 motherfucker on like mtv that was doing like pickup artist shit or like magic or some shit uh mystery

01:03:36.020 yeah yeah he was uh he was the andrew tate of his time yes uh telling you except to even more cringe

01:03:45.620 and uh that's right we have almost an exclusively female audience i just wanted to point that out

01:03:50.260 very weird there's like there's like four dudes that watch the show and like hundreds of women

01:03:53.780 so i swear the group you get on are the ones that end up being our fans it's yeah we have a bunch of

01:03:58.260 cripples and fucking like minorities and no days unfortunately yeah well i mean they don't survive

01:04:03.300 long enough work your way through the crowd just like start with fucking the cripples and then it's

01:04:09.860 easier yeah i mean i mean they are dude cripples but yeah i mean i could do that i thought i can't run

01:04:15.460 away yeah that's right well they can reel away most women are crippled if you like i mean mentally

01:04:21.460 disabled at least so that's like 90 percent of well yeah i know that's that's we went over all that in

01:04:25.780 the uh the genocide i did put out that poll the other day which was uh it was like a bunch of

01:04:31.780 different or nine out of ten women like seven out of ten five out of ten and then off and then with

01:04:36.420 uh 90 iq 100 iq 110 so as the hotness lady went down the iq went up which would you choose and i was

01:04:45.060 just like yeah i mean i'm going nine out of ten with the 90 iq i don't care like i don't give a

01:04:49.620 fuck my bitch is smart no no no in fact you don't want her to be you only want her to be

01:04:57.060 you only want her to be smart enough to listen to you eric john makes awesome pizzas by the way

01:05:02.180 yes i can make a full body pizza portrait of margot robbie and he can have sex with that if he wants

01:05:06.580 that's right that's not a bad idea and then i'll eat half of it that would actually yeah start

01:05:15.940 fucking food just like work your way up until you get like really uh vagina shaped foods like

01:05:21.220 you're just fucking you guys think do you guys think that toad would qualify for assisted suicide

01:05:24.980 in canada if he just like he was like yo i'm a 37 year old they forced me to get vaccinated so no no

01:05:31.220 no i'm saying i'm serious though like like if you have to qualify like if you're poor if you're

01:05:35.860 you're fucking disabled whatever if you're like you have will the insurance cover it 37 year old

01:05:39.940 virgin like does that and you also can add a stroke i've had a stroke i'm autistic uh virgin

01:05:46.580 it's like i do a libertarian podcast i'm vaccinated i was at the trucker protest and i don't want to

01:05:52.740 live anymore they're like we honestly we don't want to spend the money there's a bridge out there you

01:05:59.300 can use if you want to like just kind of all right so we were having this this uh debate in the

01:06:04.660 group chat as we are often known for and we said already 17 17 years old that's not the debate man

01:06:11.940 the debate was like what if there was like a a slave olympics and you got to you got to select

01:06:18.900 slaves based off of uh particular categories of labor that you need and like what what races would

01:06:24.580 you select and um i don't know who would like to start us off but like what type of labor we're

01:06:29.380 talking about uh i really think i know everyone jumps here oh the blacks are big and strong their

01:06:34.180 work ethic awful like let's be real so i i don't think you really want them manual laborers i think

01:06:39.540 you're going to want to go more the hispanic route or like uh that's right surprisingly the whites can

01:06:44.100 work hard that's true there are different types of men though it depends what type of

01:06:47.300 what happened what happened to the jews dave they built the pyramids and now it's like

01:06:54.260 guys i mean jesus can't do shit now well there's a lot of room for evolution in 5 000 years

01:07:01.300 we started off you know at one point we worked our way up it's like telling some like billionaire like

01:07:07.460 what happened you were in the mail room and he's like yeah i was you know but that was a long time

01:07:12.100 ago now i control the weather and yeah i don't shine shoes anymore sorry i i would basically

01:07:16.980 enslave reed by the way because he like has the exact like opposite uh like skills that i do so

01:07:24.100 what skills is it he knows he's got a real big dick that's right big dick uh yeah no set of

01:07:33.780 fuck yeah for real dave i don't know if you noticed this he came to my house and we were all chilling

01:07:38.820 and he was wearing some kind of jeans and i was like everybody looked at the same time like damn

01:07:43.220 it was cargo pants it was cargo pants yeah oh yeah that's right and real quick back to the slave

01:07:48.660 thing i got it now hispanics your manual laborers your white your mid-level management you got your

01:07:52.980 asians kind of towards the top and your jews right up there and you're good there you go who handles

01:07:56.260 the accounting it all depends it all depends what the task is yeah what job you need done like i

01:08:04.100 fucking i could i could think of a job that i'd need every race if i had to if i had to like

01:08:08.900 lift and break boulders i'd get a whole uh slave race of retards that'd be pretty based

01:08:15.940 yeah if i wanted a bunch of people to argue about a mundane topic online all day i'd just go to new

01:08:20.100 hampshire right like just

01:08:25.220 let's debate immigration again

01:08:29.220 anyway reed's dick that's what we were talking about yeah all right sir hey this is no

01:08:32.500 bullshit the this is you guys will all get this now this ties together perfectly the exact same

01:08:38.340 size of that shit in that toilet bowl reed's package in those pants yeah really yeah did you

01:08:43.380 was the shape believe it or not clean i took that shit actually

01:08:48.820 guys did we get any of our games set up or no i know it's probably not professional

01:08:52.100 dressing here games yeah we had games i do i do have one we got which one is it is it uh

01:08:59.300 it's the one is the one that uh it's the one that spike refused to play okay perfect i'll go ahead

01:09:04.740 and introduce i can't believe i think it's a perfect time considering as we have a guest that fits both

01:09:09.460 of these categories kike or reik let's fucking do it that's that's right so we have a theme song or

01:09:16.260 it's just uh it's just having a gil or something uh all right we're gonna have a little dicky read

01:09:30.260 these or are you insisting on doing well i mean i have them do you want to give them

01:09:35.140 so don't we have to explain how the game works yeah yeah tell them what the game is no just start

01:09:38.900 doing it we'll figure it out a little bit brings up a good point i think let's do plugs play the game

01:09:43.060 and then we'll we'll let dave out of here right after the game because i could see he's uncomfortable

01:09:46.740 so i've been phoning it in for 30 minutes for an hour and nine minutes he's been just

01:09:55.060 clint russell liberty lockdown make sure you subscribe because that kicked off of youtube

01:09:58.660 go to rumble search for liberty lockdown you can also find it on all your podcatchers

01:10:02.580 i will be on timcast next thursday make sure you don't miss it motherfuckers

01:10:06.980 um jose gallison i have the no way jose show i just sat daniel mcadams on yesterday go check out

01:10:13.860 my okc playlist if you want to get your mind blown there uh yeah i don't have anything else big uh

01:10:18.740 follow me at towergang jose uh and all some of my shits on youtube uh all the major of five

01:10:23.540 catchers and honestly as well uh follow me at top lobster with an a toplobster.com and uh podcast

01:10:30.900 merch.com you can buy some of dave's shit and legion of skank stuff up there so go support the people

01:10:35.780 that you like hell yeah next person uh yeah i have the naturalist capitalist uh youtube channel

01:10:43.700 go check it out um and i was just on timcast last week i'll be speaking at the uh rage against the

01:10:50.180 war machine rally this coming sunday so oh yeah i'll be there too scott ridder right at the top

01:10:56.500 yeah it's not live anymore shouldn't be but i might i might read or might read ritter's speech

01:11:04.980 yeah should i do it it's you have three minutes dude that'd be a base move yeah i mean they say i

01:11:11.140 only have three minutes what are they gonna do drag me up the fucking stage yeah what does it take 10

01:11:15.460 minutes to read it probably 15 yeah it's long it's a good speech though uh dave where can they find you

01:11:24.500 dave for me yeah comic dave smith.com all my shit's up there go uh go check it out and uh dave what's

01:11:33.140 it like being so handsome yeah get for your facebook uh profile picture

01:11:41.220 i got i got a bunch of shit coming up but uh yeah go go check out all my stuff

01:11:45.380 uh fat comic dave on twitter uh you can find me there and then tower gang on there uh i also so

01:11:54.260 i do have two twitters now because that comic dave came back uh then also so towering cold is my

01:11:59.540 other one that's just a personal one plug both from now on you i don't know uh i got my original

01:12:05.540 twitter back to every cover down yeah that's right mine is back as well and i changed it to tower

01:12:11.540 gang toad so that's where i am with my original account now subscribe to the patreon patreon.com

01:12:17.060 slash tower game pod and we are on rumble odyssey and youtube for the time being towering pod

01:12:24.100 and spotify as well all right we're desperate dave science to gas we're gonna be out we don't have

01:12:28.740 much time on youtube you guys are already signed yeah what he's saying yeah any day now though it's

01:12:35.860 website issues right that's what the problem is it's a troll that uh him saying we're not signed so

01:12:40.980 all right toad the game let's do it i did have one question for dave before this uh dave because

01:12:45.940 we all know the rest session is coming because i mean i i've recently a buddy of mine just sent me

01:12:50.660 a email not an email but a dm about like basically they completely lied about the cpi and inflation

01:12:57.380 right now but it made me think about uh when it does hit um what are you going to do whenever your

01:13:02.900 made-up job stops existing because uh people don't pay for gas digital anymore yeah i think that really

01:13:09.380 the key is just to have a made-up job as long as you can yeah what i mean keep extracting money

01:13:17.300 from you dumb fucks as long as i can and then whenever it runs out hopefully i've got enough of

01:13:22.820 it by the way guys the camera really does add 10 pounds dave smith is not cut out for manual labor

01:13:28.340 dude it is funny it really does add 10 pounds when i was at timcast ian is like a skeleton he's

01:13:40.100 the nicest guy i've ever met but i was like wow i felt like i was gonna knock him over when i kind

01:13:43.460 of like gave him a hug like as like and it is and i looked at myself in the in the fucking camera i'm

01:13:48.340 like god i look fucking chunky like i look fucking yoked but i look i have i have worked out two a days

01:13:54.580 ever since i was on because i was so upset with how fat i looked i was like fuck dude i'm so out of

01:14:00.180 shape right now way looking at it i was like holy crap i was just it was just awful but yeah top top

01:14:08.580 you looked fucking handsome on the show i wish you would just like all the time you look very good

01:14:12.980 on the show top thank you i know thank you i'm gonna look very fat thanks for agreeing i look fat

01:14:19.140 dave jesus i didn't say anything about anyone else oh yeah all your complaints here let them know that

01:14:25.780 the website's acting up you're not seeing uh tower gang on there uh but all right it's important that

01:14:30.820 you email them say add tower gang to the words where is tower gang what the fuck i signed up to pass

01:14:35.540 digital i want my tower gang it is yeah dr drew at your mom's house studios

01:14:42.420 there you go uh what the fuck is going on here they have to have gotten dozens of emails from our

01:14:49.140 fans they really have i promise you that probably like three they have to have unless none of this

01:14:54.900 works at all this goes to nowhere no one cares let me tell you that's a lewis move just right i work

01:15:03.300 i work like almost directly for lewis and he i don't think he has once responded to an email i'm

01:15:08.340 like this is kind of important i'm asking he's like

01:15:13.300 i don't understand how gas works like none of the people over there are like super on top of

01:15:17.780 shit like how do you guys stay float it's ralph i think every time i walk into the studio it seems

01:15:23.220 to be a bunch of fucking like 25 year olds taking dab hits i don't know what's going on there at all

01:15:29.220 but my check keeps coming yeah what turn olympics doesn't work to find out good people for it dude

01:15:37.380 i'm not gonna lie it's starting to sound like gas digital is just some weird fed op but i can't

01:15:42.020 understand the angle like how is this working that's why we got or like the mattress stores

01:15:47.220 that never go out of business because they're just mafia storefronts i think they all just make

01:15:52.580 they just make such a crazy amount of money off of all the kratom addicts that listen to them that like

01:15:56.660 that's how it stays afloat because when we were at skank fest i was like there's no one really

01:16:01.460 like running this thing and it's and it's working perfectly it's i don't even understand it's like

01:16:06.100 the best example that anarchism actually might work no there's actually two women who run it yeah and

01:16:10.980 they were doing everything but everybody thought lewis was running i think oh trust me there's no way

01:16:15.700 women were running anything no that sounds like a bad idea it's like a liar take the claim for or

01:16:21.220 take the credit for it that's a it is tops tops not lying that's more or less what it is

01:16:27.220 a couple chicks with with clipboards evidently and everyone's like check out these dikes

01:16:33.140 seems to show up where they need to be

01:16:37.540 let's go right like my clearing so i don't know what

01:16:43.460 all right yeah so so the idea of this game which uh we we played once before i think and it's uh

01:16:48.340 uh these are quotes that are going to either be from zionists or nazis they're either zionists

01:16:55.060 talking about the palestinians or nazis talking about the jews and you have to decide which uh

01:17:01.060 it is for each quote all right let's get into it number one we must do everything to ensure

01:17:09.300 they never do return the old will die and the young will forget

01:17:13.700 that that's a harsh quote um i'm gonna go zionist on that one ah with the they that makes me think

01:17:23.540 nazi you're just that's the modern context yeah it's the uh the return is what makes me think it's

01:17:31.460 a zionist okay yeah but the jews the jews were in a lot of places though so it could it could be

01:17:38.980 i mean listen the whole point of the game is it could be either you're just trying to get

01:17:44.100 which one it is top you fucking idiot i am thinking nazis so i'm gonna go with zionist

01:17:50.020 yeah i'm gonna say just for the day because i everything i know is off i'm going with reich

01:17:55.060 i don't know it just seems too overt but i could be wrong there's i remember last time there were

01:17:58.260 some very overt ones it sounds super bass so i'm gonna go hitler all right we seem pretty split

01:18:04.740 on this one everybody uh got their guess in there yes uh this is uh kike it is david ben

01:18:12.100 gurian uh prime minister of israel what a bad person this was in a letter to his son i believe in the

01:18:21.540 you got your you got your public position you got your private position i mean look let's get real

01:18:27.860 we'd all feel the same way if we were talking about socialists or some shit like that we ever if we

01:18:32.260 ever took over a country and we were like actually had our way we'd be saying the same

01:18:36.420 shit about one group but yeah that was a zionist one clearly because it's just like a letter to his

01:18:42.580 son it's just like not like hey hey son i love you it's like hey son we gotta get rid of these

01:18:46.820 fucking palestinians man like hey guys hey buddy how's camp going anyway gotta make sure they never

01:18:55.540 come back you gotta get these dogs out of our land it's how we talk about white women all the time

01:19:00.500 all right uh number two here is the ultimate goal must definitely be the removal of the ding

01:19:06.900 all together that's gonna give it away i mean i'm gonna i'm gonna be a nazi that's a nazi one i'm

01:19:14.740 gonna do anything that uh that specifies by the way what okay it's gotta be nazi yeah i'm going

01:19:20.980 i'm going reich on that one because i mean that might be by fucking hitler all of these sound like

01:19:26.820 they're hitler to me i don't know yeah they really do

01:19:32.980 god i love travis so much that one i got that last one that's me

01:19:39.300 well that's interesting because uh you'd be proving the loser brigade right then because

01:19:42.900 that is literally hitler i know i'm not proving anyone right i'm just i'm two for two in terms of

01:19:49.540 guessing that was i know my hitler clothes jesus christ guys it's not that in group solidarity

01:19:54.260 that was hitler i believe talking to some of his uh higher ups i suppose it's officials whatever

01:19:59.780 one or two more who uh who are you afraid of more top commies or or blacks me yeah

01:20:08.580 communists or blacks who am i afraid of i'm not afraid of anybody

01:20:11.380 fuck that shit man i have no fear in my heart man who do i not like

01:20:15.060 that's the question who do i discriminate it's a tough one it's it's tough i really hate communists

01:20:24.740 but i grew up in coney island so it's a hard one all right i think i think you answered it with that

01:20:31.140 answer go ahead this next one is uh okay uh ding will only be able to scurry around like drugged

01:20:41.460 cockroaches in a bottle wow i'm going to kike that's not a lot that's a very short quote god

01:20:49.860 i'm going very that owen's a very small thing to screw

01:20:57.220 dave i know you want to laugh

01:21:03.140 it's not bad

01:21:03.780 that's because i know there was that whole thing of where they get called cockroaches by i think it

01:21:12.660 was um you know all of the nazis yeah yeah well they definitely were but yeah but there's been

01:21:19.220 references on both sides of things like that i'm actually i'm gonna go zionist on this one

01:21:24.980 which is like you know against like the most obvious answer is nazi but i'm gonna go zionist on

01:21:30.580 this one something about the like the i don't know like the way it was said this made me think

01:21:35.780 it was zionist but i don't know i don't know what heber is a lot yeah um yeah uh zionist kike kike

01:21:44.180 is correct on this one it is another israeli prime minister i believe uh or no this is so based

01:21:50.020 or sorry deputy prime minister rafael etan all right next one dude jesus christ this is

01:21:57.460 next one is they are like grasshoppers compared to us i don't even get what that metaphor means

01:22:08.660 i'm gonna go nazi on this one i think it's something about like rootless

01:22:12.660 fucking jews yeah yeah i'm gonna go nazi on this one uh i'm gonna side with dave he seems to know

01:22:19.540 what's going on i'm breaking no they really know i think seems to be able to source his hate speech

01:22:24.820 i'm a nazi zionist what do you want from me i just i hear grasshoppers and i think the point is

01:22:31.540 that there's a lot of them and i just feel like yeah and they i feel like the palestinians

01:22:35.300 if they called them locusts like they just they move into different areas and they destroy

01:22:39.220 everything then it'd be oh yeah because they're in the desert i'd say palestinians yeah because

01:22:44.980 that is what i'm gonna do they move you know destroy a ridge and move to another one you know

01:22:48.820 grasshopper who's more noisy like the the jews or the palestinians like people because i can't go

01:22:54.340 to sleep there's these goddamn jews outside my window

01:23:00.260 i keep complaining jesus this one is also kike and it is israeli prime minister

01:23:07.300 yitzhak shamir dude israeli prime ministers suck good god these guys are terrible

01:23:13.540 well hear him out

01:23:18.260 all right this is all like and i would actually have more impunity too like they don't care they're

01:23:23.300 just like yeah all these for them if they were like open about it like what they do is they'll

01:23:27.620 like bomb a hospital and then be like well we're working toward a two-state solution if they were

01:23:31.860 just based and we're like yeah fuck the palestinians that was what obama did i'd actually be a little

01:23:36.900 bit more like okay well at least they say it so that's right yeah you were talking about israel but

01:23:40.820 that sounded like america to me one and we got one more toad or one in the same

01:23:47.620 uh let's let's let's do two more just because i got no please just one just just one pick the best

01:23:52.740 one pick the best one uh but the momentum dog they're both good i'm trying my i'm trying my best

01:23:57.940 not to let you know i'm anti-semitic just one uh all right uh this next one is uh

01:24:04.900 uh our race is the master race we are divine gods on this planet we are as different from

01:24:12.660 the inferior races as they are from insects in fact compared to our race other races are

01:24:18.180 beasts and animals cattle at best this is a private correspondence

01:24:23.380 other races are considered as human excrements our destiny is to rule over the inferior races our

01:24:32.340 earthly kingdom will be ruled by our leader with a rod of iron the masses will lick our feet and serve

01:24:38.580 as our slaves when i when i screenshot on this one when i ever heard you think it's the nazis that the

01:24:45.860 obvious answer is that it's not dude this is directly from the talmud i know this i know this one

01:24:50.420 when i screenshot private text messages between dave and i and i sent it to our group chat you're not

01:24:56.100 supposed to make it part of the it's not cool not cool toad it doesn't yeah i guess it's like

01:25:04.260 dave said it's just like we're supposed to think this is the nazis but this is definitely stuff like

01:25:08.740 this is uh like um whatever benjamin netanyahu yeah i gotta say once again i don't agree with the

01:25:15.540 sentiment but that's like the coolest thing i've ever heard

01:25:17.700 but you kind of go for a second you go just imagine if you could think of yourself like that

01:25:24.260 like how fucking badass that would be yeah that's uh i don't get my life is dope and i do dope

01:25:30.340 shit it's kind of how i feel about the uh black hebrew israelites like they're so

01:25:35.460 fucking aggro about how supreme they are i kind of respect it yeah yeah i wish i had that type of

01:25:41.380 confidence i can't stand i can't stand puerto rican people and i'm like 100 puerto rican i wish i had that

01:25:47.060 like i guess that's why i'm not racist because i don't i think puerto rican people suck too but

01:25:51.220 everyone else kind of sucks yeah i love them some puerto ricans it's weird that you don't love your

01:25:55.300 people i don't get it they stink

01:26:00.500 my whole house smells right now it smells like fucking beans in here it's crazy

01:26:06.740 whatever all right i'm going hitler all right uh this one is kike and it is israeli prime minister uh

01:26:14.740 i'm pregnant every time which one menahem bacon oh god i was hoping to god it's netanyahu whoever

01:26:22.660 that guy is 2024 can we can we nominate him for the libertarian i think he might be dead but i

01:26:28.980 think this is not that long ago he's actually replacing scott ritter on sunday we're judging

01:26:32.820 this guy he was like in the middle of a fight in a desert you know what i mean he was like these

01:26:37.060 fucking animals i think this is in like the 1980s of course dave is defending the jew i'm

01:26:43.540 believing all right all right you want you want one more as a bonus like no we made very clear just

01:26:48.420 the one i think we got it for a pre-game speech like you can't be like okay listen you can't say

01:26:54.500 that like no no no this guy's trying to pump everybody up yeah and whatever you're saying you

01:26:57.940 don't you can't like take it no one no one gives hitler that ass like like well let's just say did

01:27:03.460 well that's the question is you're like if you're judging the coach you go did he win the game

01:27:08.340 so like if hitler had won it would have been lost the big game and the jews win because they

01:27:12.980 rule everything like it sounds a lot like it sounds a lot like our pre-show like like you know

01:27:17.060 we're giving each other we're getting fucking amped up we're getting ready for the show and

01:27:19.940 the show is you know turns out pretty good right dave yeah it's crazy how like top gives these

01:27:25.620 fucking pep talks that remind me like denzel washington and some like shitty you know high

01:27:30.100 school football coaching movie but it's just racial slurs and we just get so jacked

01:27:34.340 and we just like run through a wall you're talking about hitler's like uh racial supremacy uh supremacy

01:27:40.180 versus the jews you're like okay like who's winning the game right now and jews are fucking dominating

01:27:46.100 if you saw the jews they'd be that that meme they'd be like hey they had us in the first half

01:27:51.060 oh yeah i'm not gonna lie i think they got it but

01:27:55.940 now we control the world i don't know

01:28:00.580 we had the banks probably the first half was like 5 000 years and then for like this

01:28:05.060 last like 200 you've been like a hundred yeah it's weird yeah they overcame a six million deficit so

01:28:11.620 it's funny like fucking hitler's like hey we're coming for you and he's usually like

01:28:14.980 that's cute we're playing both sides of the field there so we went either way

01:28:17.700 and dave's like about to sign off oh yeah you guys are making some really good points

01:28:28.500 by the way fuck kanye too

01:28:31.540 well all right that's probably the best note i think we can leave it on this is uh

01:28:34.660 it's been really fun dave uh oh yeah thank you again for coming on i know i mean of course thank

01:28:40.420 you guys very much for having me i love all you guys we love you it was fun i just think it's so

01:28:45.380 cool that we let dave back on i really i need the third time the third time we finally got no

01:28:53.060 politics in this at least it was very minimal the last two times it was always about we got some

01:28:57.540 politics we almost accomplished but that's that's all over you made it funny we made it funny like

01:29:03.300 most libertarians we've transitioned do you have one political topic you'd like to rant about before

01:29:07.460 we let you go no anybody you want to pick a fight with you mute him little dicky

01:29:16.180 dude that would be amazing someone who pissed him off

01:29:19.220 goes to rant mute end of show there's a freaking genocide going on in

01:29:24.820 thank you guys so much for tuning in this is tower gang make sure you go over to part of the problem and

01:29:28.580 you subscribe also to the b team over on gas digital that's the legion of skanks starring dave smith

01:29:34.420 lewis j gomez who's like a brother to me as well as big j okerson we are out

01:29:42.100 see

Tower Gang - February 16, 2023

Ep 110 - Spherical Shitting w⧸ Dave Smith

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