Tower Gang - Ep 111 - Tate's Bleu Balls

00:00:00.000 The funniest 9-11 jokes were written on 9-12.

00:00:02.140 Women jerk off dicks like fucking they're an unruly ferret.

00:00:05.220 Yeah.

00:00:06.320 You ever had a 9-11 cocktail?

00:00:09.200 It's in Manhattan with two kamikazes.

00:00:11.340 Come in now.

00:00:13.300 You see, the socialists don't have an accurate answer for this, and she needs to account for it.

00:00:18.260 White women must be stopped.

00:00:20.260 That's right.

00:00:21.320 Yeah.

00:00:23.440 We can stay horny and retarded longer than she can stay sane.

00:00:26.720 Your ass-to-penis ratio.

00:00:30.520 Ben, maybe you could say we had sex, but we didn't fuck.

00:00:32.980 You said n***er.

00:00:34.080 Oh, Jesus.

00:00:35.200 Free!

00:00:36.860 Fat Dave, fuck you, man.

00:00:38.620 Free!

00:00:39.540 Free!

00:00:42.560 Hello, everybody.

00:00:44.160 Welcome to my show, Tower Gang.

00:00:47.720 This is the last show of February.

00:00:49.380 We're coming in hot.

00:00:50.400 We got Tower Gang towed up to my top up there with this.

00:00:53.520 I don't know what's up with the hat.

00:00:54.580 It looks like a Nazi symbol.

00:00:55.540 We got Jose.

00:00:56.840 He's smoking the blue vape today, not the pink vape, so we don't confuse his fingernails with some gay shit.

00:01:03.360 To my right, we've got Cole.

00:01:05.400 Big Daddy Cole.

00:01:06.380 Oh, my gosh.

00:01:07.520 Show those muscles.

00:01:08.160 We got to get some sun on those arms.

00:01:09.620 I know.

00:01:10.100 I need to get the tanning, man.

00:01:13.560 It's disgusting.

00:01:14.620 And I am Top Lobster.

00:01:15.800 Today, we have a very special guest.

00:01:18.360 If you guys are paying attention to my thread a couple minutes before the show, we're like, who can we find?

00:01:23.620 We went through, like, maybe Anthony Cumia.

00:01:25.840 Maybe we can get Mersh from, you know, Revenge of the Sis or Royce if they felt like showing up.

00:01:31.120 Maybe we get Reed Coverdill show up.

00:01:32.660 No, none of those people.

00:01:33.920 Yeah.

00:01:34.060 And then we asked Owen Benjamin, and he never answered.

00:01:40.120 So, please, pull up our very special guest.

00:01:43.080 Here we go.

00:01:44.880 There we go.

00:01:46.460 We will be on TimCast tomorrow.

00:01:48.320 Our favorite fed, Mr. Clint Russell.

00:01:51.440 I was like, y'all got Owen Benjamin?

00:01:53.340 This is awesome.

00:01:56.060 Yeah.

00:01:56.760 You know, I'm in the hospital.

00:01:58.000 I've been shitting blood for 48 hours.

00:01:59.620 This has been a really eventful.

00:02:02.420 You go and you hang out with communists for, like, five minutes and you nearly die, dude.

00:02:05.740 People were right.

00:02:07.000 I shouldn't have known you.

00:02:09.020 How was the rage against the Ukraine?

00:02:12.500 It was a great day, dude.

00:02:19.380 I wasn't lying with my tweets when I got back home and I saw, like, everyone just shitting their pants over a couple fucking Russian flags.

00:02:25.460 I was like, bro.

00:02:26.380 Those were, like, four people out of 4,000.

00:02:29.420 Like, why does this matter?

00:02:31.240 Dude, it's funny because, like, three of the pictures of the Russian flags was the same guy.

00:02:36.100 They just found them in different places.

00:02:36.980 He was just, like, walking around.

00:02:38.580 They just kept taking pictures of just him.

00:02:40.580 It made me laugh.

00:02:41.340 But, God.

00:02:43.300 It's all red, white, and blue anyway, right?

00:02:45.220 Who's counting?

00:02:46.120 Yeah, exactly.

00:02:47.460 That's why I said in my tweet, I was like, I would be much more, like, ashamed to fly, like, the American flag.

00:02:53.820 Like, there's no fucking, like, if you really look at it on an objective basis, we've started way more wars than Russia has in the past, I don't know, 60 years.

00:03:02.300 Yeah, it's all just the colors of imperialism, man.

00:03:05.120 And Angela had the Lincoln Memorial as a backdrop the whole time, so are we not offended by that?

00:03:10.700 No.

00:03:11.340 I mean, I honestly didn't care if people were pro Russia.

00:03:14.680 I mean, don't be wrong.

00:03:15.300 That's not really my stance, but I also was like, whatever.

00:03:18.400 They're, like, against the war.

00:03:19.620 That's their stance, but they're coming from it from a, like, a, yeah, don't fuck with the motherland.

00:03:23.800 My favorite is just people being pro or anti any fucking, like, nation.

00:03:28.360 Because it's like, if you're anti-nation, it's just be like, yeah, fuck 200 million people.

00:03:32.620 Fuck all of them.

00:03:33.540 Like, it's just like, I hate them all.

00:03:35.380 Like, no, no.

00:03:36.280 Don't go by nation.

00:03:37.040 Go by race.

00:03:37.760 That's way better.

00:03:38.300 Yeah, I'm anti-Africa, but that's for any political reasons.

00:03:43.100 I had an interesting thought, like, 20 minutes ago.

00:03:47.520 Like, you know there had to have been one dude in Africa who was just, like, just hated his tribe, and he saw the slave ships, and he was like, yo, get me the fuck out of here, dog.

00:03:56.100 And then he just, like, put himself into slavery for the next 50 years.

00:03:59.260 Stowed away.

00:03:59.860 Like, how many dudes do you think came from Taylor?

00:04:03.220 And you got to think, the funniest part is, they're probably, he doing that, they're probably better off now than the people still in Africa.

00:04:10.020 Like, he was like, because what if you're, what if you got into the slave trade in, like, 1863 or 1864?

00:04:17.620 Like, you just got in, you got over here, and you're immediately freed?

00:04:20.840 It's like, I literally just traded up.

00:04:22.640 I got a free ride to a free country.

00:04:25.060 This is fucking awesome.

00:04:26.000 He's like, sure, I was, I had to do slave, you know, slave labor for my entire life, but three generations later, and my kids are asking for preparation.

00:04:33.740 No, I'm sorry, I've said, like, he did it in, like, 1864.

00:04:36.520 Like, he did it right before the Meditation Proclamation.

00:04:39.100 Like, he gets there, and they're like, you're free now.

00:04:41.220 And he was like, I did, like, two days worth of slave work.

00:04:43.840 Like, I guess I'm, even you can claim for the rest of your life and the rest of your heritage.

00:04:47.900 Be like, I was a slave.

00:04:50.020 Yeah, but weren't they, like, on the, on the, they were on the boat for, like, yeah, the land of white women.

00:04:55.620 And, yeah, they were on the boat for, like, 30 days, too, or something like that, probably, right?

00:04:59.780 And a bunch of them probably died there, too.

00:05:01.480 I think the better option for the African man would have been to become a slave trader and be like, oh, fuck all you guys.

00:05:08.220 I'm just going to enslave you.

00:05:09.620 No, you have to go far to the north.

00:05:10.220 You have to reach, like, the Middle East before you get to the slave ship.

00:05:12.080 The slave ship and the 30 days on the slave ship is just an allegory to, like, the 30 years in the desert that, in the Bible, because those are the real Jews.

00:05:20.560 And they reached the, and then they reached the promised land of America.

00:05:22.720 What the fuck?

00:05:24.060 No, it's true, guys.

00:05:24.760 I don't know what you guys, you're all fucking, this is the truth.

00:05:27.940 No, that's true.

00:05:28.460 Moses parted the Atlantic Ocean.

00:05:31.780 And all the, and all the, and all the real Jews walked over to the U.S.

00:05:36.220 You're quoting today where you just said, is this Yakub?

00:05:38.740 I was dying, man.

00:05:40.380 Yo, for real.

00:05:41.280 My dude had a huge dump.

00:05:43.860 It looked like he was ready to float away.

00:05:45.980 Like, damn, son.

00:05:47.380 What's going on in that brain?

00:05:48.720 Yo, let me ask you something.

00:05:49.900 A serious question.

00:05:50.700 So, the last time that we were on TimCast, you were very self-conscious.

00:05:55.840 You thought that your arms were fat.

00:05:57.080 You fell fat.

00:05:58.240 Is what's going on with you right now, the last couple of days, is this just, like, are you, is this something that, like, white women would do where they purge themselves?

00:06:06.040 Oh, he's doing a purge.

00:06:06.920 He pounded diuretics.

00:06:08.220 Are you poisoning yourself?

00:06:09.720 Tell us.

00:06:10.500 He's got it.

00:06:11.100 He goes on there.

00:06:11.680 He's fucking ripped.

00:06:12.940 He's, like, he's all shredded.

00:06:14.340 He's just no water weight.

00:06:15.440 He's, like, almost fading in his chair, though.

00:06:19.840 He's, like, consuming, like, some sort of bacteria that just, like, destroys your entire digestive tract.

00:06:24.500 He's just Ryan Reynolds in any movie, just getting absolutely shredded from just not, like, drinking water and taking diuretics and sleeping in trash bags.

00:06:32.520 I got nothing to say about the conversation, but I look good, though, right?

00:06:35.260 I wish it were that, because, like, I can't even describe the agony I've been in for the past 48 hours.

00:06:42.740 Like, I honestly thought I had appendicitis, because I had the entire, like, lower lining of my abdomen has been so inflamed.

00:06:51.460 I've never got food poisoning before.

00:06:52.820 Like, I've always cooked with people.

00:06:54.500 Like, I could eat, like, raw meat straight out of a dumpster, and I would be fine.

00:06:58.120 And I've never, ever gotten food poisoning.

00:07:00.880 I got motherfucking food poisoning, dog.

00:07:02.600 And that shit is no joke.

00:07:03.480 Like, it absolutely killed me.

00:07:05.420 And I have just, like, paint-melting shits for fucking two days.

00:07:09.240 I haven't even been eating.

00:07:10.040 I don't even know what I'm shitting at this point.

00:07:12.140 I can't eat Gatorade and that shit more.

00:07:13.660 It's, like, it's fucking impossible.

00:07:15.180 I love it how Clint right now, you know, minus the beanie, looks like every fucking boomer's profile pic.

00:07:22.000 Put on some sunglasses.

00:07:23.860 Put on some, like, some, like, aviators.

00:07:26.300 No, no, no.

00:07:26.700 It has to be the Oakley sunglasses.

00:07:28.420 And, yeah, you would nail it.

00:07:29.620 You would...

00:07:30.160 Start talking shit about the session.

00:07:32.540 Yeah, Israel being our greatest ally, man.

00:07:35.560 That's what you're going to start talking about soon.

00:07:38.000 Clint is prepared for Tim Poole to give him a colonoscopy tomorrow, so.

00:07:43.640 Yeah, I'm super prepared, dude.

00:07:44.920 You could not, you couldn't find anything inside me, I swear to God.

00:07:47.980 It's, like, has anybody ever had, like, food poisoning poisoning?

00:07:52.460 I've had, I've had, it wasn't food poisoning, I had a different disease when I was younger.

00:07:57.400 It was, like, a blood disease, and I literally puked out.

00:08:00.440 You had a blood disease on top of donating plasma?

00:08:02.600 Oh, yeah, dude, I had...

00:08:03.420 It was because...

00:08:04.500 If you want to look it up, it's called HSP.

00:08:07.120 And, like, it was even...

00:08:08.520 That's, like, an STD?

00:08:09.780 Motherfucker was giving away fucking blood disease.

00:08:11.920 It was, it was...

00:08:15.040 I need the money.

00:08:17.100 All these kids in Africa just shitting their brains out.

00:08:19.540 Some blood disease.

00:08:22.120 I got it twice.

00:08:24.200 I got it twice, which is apparently very, very rare.

00:08:26.420 And I almost died from it when I was, like, in fifth grade.

00:08:28.980 They're like, do you have a communicable disease?

00:08:31.660 No.

00:08:34.260 Check my toes.

00:08:36.520 Toes are clean, bro.

00:08:37.620 I'm telling you, too, but I remember I lost, like, 10 to 15 pounds in, like, three days

00:08:44.960 because, you know, I just, I was just throwing up everything.

00:08:47.280 I think I finally ate, like, first thing I ate in, like, three days was, like, a popsicle.

00:08:51.060 I could finally just, like, swallow down some fucking frozen...

00:08:53.640 Yeah, basically.

00:08:54.780 And it was just water and popsicles for the next few days after that.

00:08:58.620 But, yeah, it's, it fucking sucks.

00:09:00.660 Like, but mine was all throw-up.

00:09:01.780 Mine wasn't coming out the ass.

00:09:02.840 Mine was all throw-up.

00:09:04.180 I mean, I just had crazy diarrhea and crazy throwing up before,

00:09:07.380 but I never, like, connected the dots of food poisoning.

00:09:10.560 So, I, and I'm the kind of guy, like, just denies I'm sick.

00:09:12.940 I'm like, I'm fine.

00:09:13.660 I'm just shitting a lot, you know?

00:09:14.860 So, I mean, I could have had food poisoning and just not know.

00:09:17.420 I don't know.

00:09:18.300 I mean...

00:09:18.600 That's such a manly thing to do.

00:09:19.600 Just be shitting a ton and be like, guess it was just a random day.

00:09:23.260 Just kind of...

00:09:23.980 That's what I was going to say.

00:09:25.400 Like, what Clint is describing right now is just, like, me on a daily basis.

00:09:29.420 So, I don't really understand what the problem is.

00:09:32.040 Then why aren't you losing weight?

00:09:33.100 Wait, did you pass out on the toilet?

00:09:39.420 I'm not fat, man.

00:09:40.700 It's my abdomen is bloated.

00:09:42.380 That's...

00:09:42.700 Oh, okay.

00:09:43.440 I had dinner with communists, like, no bullshit communists on Sunday night.

00:09:47.680 So, when I got sick Monday night, I had to, like, process, like, okay,

00:09:51.520 could I have possibly eaten and then been okay for, like, 24 hours?

00:09:55.180 Or is it more likely the burrito that I had in the alleyway in D.C. at noon on Monday?

00:10:00.860 And I was like, it's probably the fucking burrito.

00:10:02.700 It's all that vinyl chloride.

00:10:04.620 It's getting over there.

00:10:05.360 It already made its way to D.C.

00:10:06.740 And you're getting fucked up, dude.

00:10:07.860 You're about to fucking die.

00:10:09.080 It's coming over here.

00:10:10.380 I expect an apology from you, Clint.

00:10:11.980 So, guys, a little more inside baseball.

00:10:13.700 Every week we have inside baseball.

00:10:15.440 There was a little tension in the chat over the D.C. thing.

00:10:18.240 I said it was gay because of the communists.

00:10:20.340 And Clint was like, yo, fuck you, man.

00:10:22.080 We're trying to prevent World War III.

00:10:24.060 And now look at you, Clint.

00:10:25.340 You look fucking pitiful.

00:10:26.840 I'm looking into your eyes right now.

00:10:28.480 You're a shell of a man because you're hanging out with these fucking filthy communists.

00:10:31.860 And when we say filthy, that's what I mean.

00:10:34.000 It comes off of them.

00:10:35.180 And you breathe it in.

00:10:36.260 Yeah, you got the plague, actually.

00:10:38.800 They just live around rats.

00:10:41.760 Goshi said the same thing.

00:10:42.920 She was like, look, I told you not to hang out with communists.

00:10:46.040 I think you should apologize to everybody.

00:10:47.640 I was like, all right, I'm sorry.

00:10:49.460 I'm sorry I hung out with the communists.

00:10:51.720 I didn't know that it would all come out my ass.

00:10:54.720 But, you know, communism works weird.

00:10:59.020 It's expelling the food from your body.

00:11:01.160 All communism just gets rid of all the food.

00:11:03.260 It's just like, got to get out.

00:11:04.800 It's all the gay shit plus fucking starving.

00:11:08.360 So it clears out the butthole just for all the gay shit.

00:11:12.120 The communism just saw my BMI and was like, that's too high.

00:11:15.480 We're going to have to drop that down.

00:11:16.940 It should not be.

00:11:17.720 Yeah, communists can never get food poisoning because they never have any food.

00:11:21.440 Binza said this is a different form of the lobster litmus test.

00:11:26.720 Clint is going to be so – imagine Clint, but, like, maybe if he loses, like, 40 pounds, like, to an unhealthy level.

00:11:33.860 He'll be, like, Ryan Long thin and, like, just – it would be overbearing.

00:11:38.400 Imagine that.

00:11:39.500 Ryan Long, come on to our gang, by the way.

00:11:41.360 But, you know, I was – that's what I weighed when I played volleyball five days a week.

00:11:45.460 So I'll get back there eventually.

00:11:48.580 Dude, I bet you were probably fucking ripped, weren't you?

00:11:50.940 You probably look good.

00:11:52.240 Oh, yeah.

00:11:52.580 It's – you feel different.

00:11:54.280 I guess Jose and Top and Clint know about this.

00:11:56.880 And I'm getting there.

00:11:57.880 But, like, everybody –

00:11:59.080 You guys understand being in shape at some point and different types of shape in general working out.

00:12:04.460 I was in all right shape when I was in college and I was actually working out a lot.

00:12:07.840 But I'm distracted by Clint's Chippendales pose right here.

00:12:11.260 It's very, very hot.

00:12:13.260 No, I like it.

00:12:14.160 What I'm saying is, like, whenever you, like, have your shirt off and you're kind of, like, you pass by a mirror and you're like, oh, oh, shit.

00:12:19.780 I'm kind of fucking – I'm fucking killing it right now.

00:12:22.400 Like, it's a different, totally different confidence boost.

00:12:25.000 But my wife, Elizabeth, hates it.

00:12:26.680 She's like, stop looking at yourself.

00:12:27.780 So, even though I'm fat right now, I still do that with my dick sometimes when I, like –

00:12:31.340 That's something I wish I could do.

00:12:33.920 That'll – the part – that'll never go away, though, for you.

00:12:37.660 You could be fat as shit.

00:12:38.980 Like, you could be –

00:12:39.820 Oh, no, that's not true.

00:12:40.980 If you push 600, like, your dick, no matter how big it is, it gets pretty tiny, I think.

00:12:44.880 Okay.

00:12:45.520 I mean –

00:12:46.340 When I'm ripped, my dick looks awesome.

00:12:48.360 But, like, when I'm, like, bigger like I am now, it's, like – by being, like, on my gorilla body, I'm just kind of like, eh, looks okay, I guess.

00:12:54.360 Yeah.

00:12:56.880 Seriously, if you lost 50 pounds, like, if any of us lose 50 pounds, your dick looks fucking ginormous.

00:13:01.400 Holy shit, I'm going to starve myself then.

00:13:03.560 Have you ever jerked off in front of a mirror?

00:13:05.520 Like, just like – you were just in a room with a mirror and you're jerked off.

00:13:07.260 That's the only time I do it.

00:13:10.060 With the mirror above his bed.

00:13:12.540 Yeah.

00:13:12.740 If you walked –

00:13:15.320 I can't come unless I'm making eye contact with myself.

00:13:18.340 It is weird.

00:13:19.320 Have you ever watched the sperm come out of the dick that I've done?

00:13:23.280 If you're looking in the mirror and you're like, oh, that's a weird angle.

00:13:26.240 I don't like that.

00:13:27.300 You come in on your own face.

00:13:28.900 You come in the mirror and you're like, oh, yeah.

00:13:31.080 You filthy slut.

00:13:33.360 I did have a – I had a stripper giving me a lap dance once.

00:13:36.900 He was obsessed with, like, watching us in the mirror.

00:13:39.200 And I'm just not into that.

00:13:41.000 Like, if a woman walked into your, like, bedroom and you saw –

00:13:44.900 and she saw a mirror on the ceiling, like, how quick could you, like,

00:13:50.400 contain her before she gets out?

00:13:52.260 You mean rape?

00:13:53.460 Yeah, basically.

00:13:54.280 Because, like, if you see that – if you walk into a bedroom and see that as a woman,

00:13:57.700 you need to get out of there.

00:13:58.860 Once you get in the bedroom, there's implied consent, so.

00:14:02.540 Yeah, that's right.

00:14:04.660 Don't ever enter Jose's bedroom tone.

00:14:07.460 God, dude.

00:14:08.560 Don't get me started on the supply consent thing.

00:14:10.460 Like, I feel like once you get past a certain point, you're like, all right, come on.

00:14:14.680 This is it.

00:14:15.080 We're fucking going down.

00:14:16.580 Once you're in Louis C.K.'s hotel room.

00:14:19.620 If I ask a girl if she wants me to buy a drink and she says yes, it's like, all right, cool.

00:14:24.020 That's it.

00:14:24.720 You agreed.

00:14:25.680 You're my wife.

00:14:26.160 You can't say no.

00:14:27.260 Go ahead and hurry up.

00:14:28.480 Drink that thing.

00:14:29.140 We got things to do.

00:14:29.920 Let's go.

00:14:30.660 That's why when Dave said 12 shots, I was like, yo, it's only one, brother.

00:14:34.640 You give her one shot.

00:14:38.760 You're like, I have a lot of dirty dishes in my house, so let's go back there and start

00:14:41.820 cleaning those.

00:14:44.860 All right, guys.

00:14:45.540 You ready to get into the mailbag?

00:14:46.860 Yeah.

00:14:47.360 The mailbag, yeah.

00:14:48.600 Mailbag boy.

00:14:50.020 I remember before, Novum said, someone tells jokes to be funny if he had any amount of swagger,

00:14:54.720 but he always stops the combo to stay it.

00:14:56.900 Then he fucking breathes in too much afterward and literally says, so, after every joke.

00:15:02.620 That's what we were saying before.

00:15:04.340 I feel like he'd be a decent joke writer.

00:15:06.780 Decent.

00:15:07.580 Not like amazing, but he has no delivery at all.

00:15:10.980 That's the timing.

00:15:12.220 Yeah, the timing is bad.

00:15:13.920 I think he'd be better at stand-up comedy than any of us, which kind of proves our point.

00:15:19.240 We were talking about Adam.

00:15:20.240 He'd be better than Adam.

00:15:20.840 I've done it a few times.

00:15:22.600 We were talking about how unfunny Adam Nutter is when he comes on the show, but maybe his

00:15:27.280 stand-up's good.

00:15:27.960 I don't know.

00:15:30.040 What?

00:15:30.560 We're not supposed to say that?

00:15:32.740 You can't say the quiet part out loud, man.

00:15:36.040 Everybody knows it, but we're all supposed to keep it under wraps.

00:15:38.040 We were talking about a myriad of stand-up comedians we've had on the show before that

00:15:42.140 we were let down with how unfunny they were in a conversation setting.

00:15:46.900 I'm sorry.

00:15:47.540 All right, fuck.

00:15:48.420 Someone said they talked to Lou Perez, and he was like...

00:15:53.380 I've met him.

00:15:54.780 I've met him, and I'm trying to stand-up.

00:15:56.420 He's good.

00:15:57.480 Somebody was out there in California, and he actually talked to Lou Perez.

00:16:00.900 The Tylers are fucking idiots.

00:16:02.340 I already...

00:16:02.860 I mean...

00:16:03.880 There's been a number of times I've already trashed Tyler Yankee of podcasts.

00:16:08.460 I've met Lou in person.

00:16:10.300 What's the point of this story?

00:16:11.420 Someone...

00:16:11.700 No, what I'm saying was he brought up Tyler Yankee, and Lou said, yeah, I really did not bring

00:16:16.480 my A-game on that one, or something like that.

00:16:18.240 I think he said he had a bad internet connection.

00:16:20.480 Yeah, he said something like he was like, it didn't work out because I was...

00:16:23.780 You're breaking up.

00:16:24.740 That could be true.

00:16:25.580 It can't be funny.

00:16:26.540 Yeah.

00:16:27.100 I mean, we had that...

00:16:28.160 Who was that one guy we had on that was a comedian?

00:16:30.060 We never had him on again, but he had that terrible internet connection.

00:16:33.780 He was supposed to be really funny.

00:16:34.540 I remember that.

00:16:34.940 Oh, Robbie was fired.

00:16:35.520 Monstray?

00:16:36.300 No.

00:16:38.160 And Anthony Samaroff is not a comedian.

00:16:40.820 No, but it was with Anthony...

00:16:42.140 I thought he was with Anthony Samaroff.

00:16:43.280 No, he kept popping in and out of the show, and you guys did the whole show.

00:16:46.460 The whole show by yourself.

00:16:47.180 That was great.

00:16:48.220 I remember he was like, I was, but yeah, he was...

00:16:51.120 Let's just shit on all of our guests.

00:16:53.300 I'm fine with that.

00:16:54.440 I love Bernie Bridges.

00:16:55.860 You be clear, it's Todd doing it, not us.

00:16:57.820 We were looking for a funny guest, and like I said, the prerequisites are funny, cis, white.

00:17:05.680 That's why Clint is on tonight.

00:17:07.220 That's why Clint came back.

00:17:08.480 Nobody could fill his shoes.

00:17:10.380 Nobody.

00:17:11.060 This is the internet.

00:17:11.700 I don't even fill his ass either.

00:17:12.640 It's crazy.

00:17:13.260 You know what I hate, though, Top?

00:17:16.600 That you use the word cis.

00:17:18.040 I don't like that word in any way.

00:17:20.060 Yeah, neither.

00:17:21.340 Yeah, because it's like they made it that way.

00:17:23.120 Should I use bro?

00:17:23.680 No, no, I'm just saying that the others, the weirdos, the fucking degenerates out there...

00:17:29.540 You got the joke, though.

00:17:30.500 The Jews?

00:17:31.080 Yeah.

00:17:31.620 Yeah.

00:17:32.980 I thought it was clever, and it was definitely not PC, so I appreciate it.

00:17:36.820 You could just say you're looking for a non-faggot to come on the show tonight.

00:17:41.040 It's true.

00:17:42.040 Yeah.

00:17:42.280 Yeah.

00:17:42.860 Okay.

00:17:43.360 You couldn't have invited me.

00:17:44.540 I know.

00:17:45.360 We failed.

00:17:45.800 There's a lot of cool faggots out there.

00:17:47.240 I'll do better next time.

00:17:48.380 I'm sorry, guys.

00:17:49.320 All right.

00:17:49.680 Mailbag.

00:17:50.420 Mailbag.

00:17:51.080 Yep.

00:17:52.380 All right.

00:17:53.520 Ricky asks, who would win in a fight to the death between the gang?

00:17:57.260 Toad is excluded because Jose kills him with one punch at the open of the fight.

00:18:01.420 I'm glad they asked it now because I am on death's door, so y'all take me out first.

00:18:10.300 No, no.

00:18:10.600 It's in our prime.

00:18:11.360 In our prime.

00:18:12.220 Oh, shit.

00:18:12.860 All right.

00:18:13.620 And I guess it has to be unarmed.

00:18:15.120 Prime currently.

00:18:16.700 Unarmed?

00:18:17.560 Current state, right?

00:18:18.720 Oh, because I was like, would you say that you're not in the prime right now?

00:18:21.060 Yeah, because if you're saying in prime, I'll be like, well, guess what?

00:18:23.080 Back in fucking 2005.

00:18:25.260 Yeah.

00:18:26.340 Yeah.

00:18:26.700 I'd be like, yeah, in 2006 when I was actually hitting the gym.

00:18:31.000 No.

00:18:31.140 I'm just going to say I would go out first.

00:18:32.760 No, you're already dead.

00:18:34.140 No, no, no.

00:18:34.660 You wouldn't be out dead.

00:18:35.460 We would.

00:18:36.060 Clint would be first because we would all kill him first.

00:18:39.180 Oh, I see.

00:18:39.560 I see.

00:18:39.920 We would actually strategize.

00:18:41.520 That's smart.

00:18:42.160 We would strategize.

00:18:42.500 We would look at each other and be like, we're going to kill Clint first.

00:18:45.480 Because he's just taller.

00:18:46.520 So get rid of him.

00:18:47.520 And then we'll assure people will deal with the rest.

00:18:50.240 Unfortunately, Top, I have already informed all of you that if you kill Top first, then we

00:18:54.540 will just shake hands and walk away.

00:18:57.300 Goddamn.

00:18:57.700 What's crazy is Reed also didn't show up to this Battle Royale either.

00:19:01.360 He just doesn't show up to it.

00:19:02.300 That's true.

00:19:04.020 Something tells me Jose would win this.

00:19:06.860 Reed would just be texting the whole time that we're trying to kill each other.

00:19:11.600 I'm going to be honest.

00:19:12.640 In my head, I'm like me.

00:19:13.780 But I didn't want to say it out loud.

00:19:14.780 No, I think so because I think we all think ourselves.

00:19:18.360 Well, no, no, no.

00:19:18.900 I don't think myself.

00:19:19.640 No.

00:19:20.060 I think Jose would take it to the ground game and he would probably dominate on the ground.

00:19:25.420 And then that's where you can actually.

00:19:26.600 Flying me.

00:19:26.960 Flying me.

00:19:27.500 That's all I have to say to you, Jose.

00:19:28.940 You fucking shoot.

00:19:30.180 And I just go.

00:19:31.040 The hardest hit in your face you have ever felt.

00:19:34.160 Fighting Jose would be like fighting a silverback gorilla, man.

00:19:37.640 But Jose would gas out quick.

00:19:39.080 I don't think that there's any level of work I can apply to a head of that magnitude and cause any significant damage.

00:19:47.060 I just think whoever has the best ground game will get.

00:19:49.600 Because, I mean, once you get to the ground, it's just going to be whoever's the best there is going to dominate.

00:19:54.660 If we're saying like a gaggle, like we're all fighting all at once.

00:19:58.780 It's a battle royale.

00:19:59.600 Yes.

00:19:59.900 It's a battle royale.

00:20:00.700 I don't know.

00:20:02.100 Maybe I could strategize my way out of it.

00:20:03.580 But if I'm literally fighting the whole time, yeah, I will probably.

00:20:05.720 Currently, my current state would gas out pretty quick.

00:20:07.780 I probably would end up losing with somewhat better cardio.

00:20:10.780 Maybe Cole might actually win out because he's probably, you know.

00:20:13.780 But I've never been in a fight ever.

00:20:15.680 Oh, yeah.

00:20:16.080 You're fucked.

00:20:18.740 Jose weighs a night.

00:20:20.680 I'll say this.

00:20:21.380 I sparred that one time when I went.

00:20:23.180 I took one jujitsu class.

00:20:24.740 With that little kid that you told us.

00:20:27.040 No, no.

00:20:27.940 Oh, I forgot.

00:20:28.740 I did do that.

00:20:29.340 Yeah.

00:20:29.640 I forgot I did wrestle once before that, too.

00:20:31.480 That's not sparring.

00:20:33.060 No, I did wrestle once legit with like a kid.

00:20:36.100 And we were just, I mean, he was scrawny.

00:20:37.780 He looked like.

00:20:38.820 How have you never been in a fight?

00:20:39.780 Think of Toe just being like five or six inches.

00:20:42.900 That's it.

00:20:43.360 Like that's.

00:20:44.420 And skinnier.

00:20:45.600 You've never aggravated somebody, Cole?

00:20:47.760 You're not a real racist if you've never been in a fight growing.

00:20:50.160 Dude, I've literally only ever been in one fight.

00:20:52.260 And I can barely call it that.

00:20:53.720 And I went through this period of time where I like, I don't know, went through a rough

00:20:56.600 patch where I legit was like trying to fight people and no one would.

00:20:59.840 And I'm not trying to talk myself up.

00:21:01.380 I think it's just because a lot of people knew me and knew that I fucking, I was ripped

00:21:05.140 at the time.

00:21:05.680 And I did.

00:21:05.920 I wish a nigga would.

00:21:07.200 Yeah.

00:21:07.540 That really was my attitude that I was like high as fucking pills all the time.

00:21:11.060 I was in a rough spot.

00:21:12.240 I was ready to fucking fight.

00:21:13.320 He's just going to bars and just hitting people with like bottles and they just turn around

00:21:17.260 and they go, uh, no.

00:21:18.640 And he's just like, fuck you, man.

00:21:20.480 There's a small town.

00:21:21.440 So everyone knew me.

00:21:22.280 So it's like, and they, a lot of them knew I fucking wrestled, did jujitsu, all sorts

00:21:26.040 of shit.

00:21:26.380 So they're like, yeah.

00:21:27.160 He's going around hitting on everybody's girlfriend and then they just don't do anything.

00:21:30.100 He just goes and lays them.

00:21:31.080 Like he just fucking, he just banging sluts all day, every day.

00:21:34.240 Dude, I really did have a real asshole streak.

00:21:36.020 I would legit like hit on chicks in front of their dudes and then just fuck with them.

00:21:39.980 Like, and my move would always be when they get upset, they'd be like, what the fuck?

00:21:43.120 I'd be like, no, don't worry.

00:21:43.820 I'm gay.

00:21:44.220 And then just wink at her.

00:21:48.360 That's awesome.

00:21:49.660 I cannot believe.

00:21:50.860 And you, you know, you never got in a fight from that.

00:21:53.220 No, no one would fight me.

00:21:55.060 That's completely aggro in the bar.

00:21:57.820 Like that is something you don't do.

00:21:58.960 I went like bar behavior, but this is more like 16, 17 year old retards running around

00:22:03.400 fucking, you know, hanging out type thing.

00:22:05.500 But yeah, I know.

00:22:06.660 I know.

00:22:07.240 I got in one fight.

00:22:08.480 You've been in a fight.

00:22:09.240 I know you have.

00:22:09.600 Fuck the dude up.

00:22:10.040 But you were, you worked, you worked in the fucking subway.

00:22:14.240 You've been in a fight.

00:22:15.000 You're Puerto Rican.

00:22:16.080 Yeah.

00:22:16.480 Yeah.

00:22:17.780 I've never been in a fight in the subway, but I, yeah, I've been in a few fights.

00:22:21.340 I grew up in Conan Island as mad black people.

00:22:23.020 Of course I'm in the fight.

00:22:26.020 Do you want me to die?

00:22:28.480 Do you want me to tell you what, what I, what happened last night or yesterday evening

00:22:32.180 that I mentioned in the chat?

00:22:33.760 If it's a street fight, yeah.

00:22:35.900 It, uh, it was a subway fight.

00:22:38.560 You were in, or you saw?

00:22:39.860 Because you guys are talking about it.

00:22:40.940 I was not actually in it.

00:22:42.460 Okay.

00:22:43.540 Uh, but basically this, uh, dude who must've been schizo, just like from out of nowhere,

00:22:48.440 all of a sudden just starts wailing on this other guy.

00:22:50.940 And the dude who was the attacker was kind of overweight, balding, probably in his thirties

00:22:56.660 and probably was, uh, it was, it was me.

00:23:00.680 You're right.

00:23:01.140 I was involved in the fight.

00:23:02.480 He was tripping on angel dust.

00:23:04.240 He was ugly.

00:23:05.200 He had no bitches.

00:23:08.520 This dude all of a sudden, from out of nowhere, he's just on top.

00:23:12.220 He had a gambling habit.

00:23:14.660 He's just on top of this other dude.

00:23:16.640 He quit drinking all because he was fucking his life up.

00:23:19.280 He's just on top of this other dude.

00:23:20.720 He had a dead end job as a software engineer.

00:23:22.360 He does some gay show every week.

00:23:27.420 That's right.

00:23:27.960 So basically, uh, this dude was like, he's super autistic about gambling and sports.

00:23:32.360 He had a nickname that was an animal.

00:23:36.100 I know, right?

00:23:37.580 This is, uh, it's actually, uh, oh my God.

00:23:45.260 I'm glad you told this story.

00:23:47.660 Yeah, I told you guys.

00:23:49.420 This guy is.

00:23:51.220 He always says he's working out, but he never looks different.

00:23:55.540 I got the weights right here, man.

00:23:57.780 He's got a smoking hot sister, though.

00:24:00.660 Whatever.

00:24:01.380 You get a word in edgewise.

00:24:02.960 And you don't even have to listen to him.

00:24:04.040 He just keeps talking.

00:24:05.080 Yeah, no.

00:24:05.520 He just keeps going.

00:24:07.240 So, well, so basically this, this dude was accusing multiple different people of being baby killers.

00:24:13.880 He's like, yeah, like you killed us.

00:24:15.680 This is you.

00:24:16.060 It sounds like you.

00:24:17.120 Okay, so you attack someone on the subway.

00:24:21.080 What happened?

00:24:22.680 He just got to argue with Ace online.

00:24:26.140 He went into a fugue state.

00:24:27.320 He says, fuck you, Ace.

00:24:28.080 That's, yeah, that's right.

00:24:30.500 I was totally in a fugue state.

00:24:32.040 I don't remember it being me at all, but it probably was me.

00:24:35.160 Yeah.

00:24:35.320 He jerked off in threesomes.

00:24:37.180 Yeah.

00:24:37.480 And then he's just showing this other guy and he's like, you killed my best friend, man.

00:24:42.000 I know exactly who you are.

00:24:43.260 You killed Leon Johnson.

00:24:45.640 Like, what the fuck is happening?

00:24:47.260 Yeah, you've been stalking me for a month, man.

00:24:50.640 The best part about this story, Toad, is that you were the protagonist, didn't it?

00:24:54.820 I was the antagonist.

00:24:58.000 You've been stalking me for a month.

00:24:59.960 I know exactly who you are.

00:25:01.240 You're a fucking serial killer, man.

00:25:04.340 All right.

00:25:05.180 Did the dude win or what happened?

00:25:07.360 He definitely got some blows in against that one particular guy, but then three other guys

00:25:14.840 who were right next to that guy.

00:25:16.760 You're saying you blew that guy?

00:25:18.620 Yeah.

00:25:19.000 You know what?

00:25:19.300 By the way, I was sneaking in my brain.

00:25:21.260 I was like, if I was Toad, I would make that joke top, but I didn't want to do it because

00:25:24.900 I know.

00:25:25.300 That was a Toad joke.

00:25:26.580 I'm sorry.

00:25:27.620 Yeah.

00:25:28.140 And like a few guys.

00:25:29.380 I literally saw it and I was like, I thought about saying it and I was like, no, Toad would

00:25:32.640 say that.

00:25:33.200 I'm going to sign off, guys.

00:25:35.180 I'm sorry.

00:25:35.620 A few guys restrained him right away and then he started kind of yelling at me and

00:25:42.000 another guy in our direction and I thought I was ready.

00:25:46.040 I thought something was going to happen and then he wound up following one of the guys

00:25:49.660 off the train because we pulled him to a stop and then a bunch of people had flagged

00:25:53.920 the conductor down and called the police or something and they held the train there even

00:25:57.900 though the guy was off the train.

00:25:59.440 Now, he's on the platform and he's brawling with a couple other guys.

00:26:03.120 Then he's like six or seven cops come in.

00:26:07.080 I don't know why.

00:26:08.160 I don't know why we're letting him finish the story.

00:26:12.220 That's basically the end of the story.

00:26:13.720 These cops rushed down and like just rushed to the guy to deck them on the train.

00:26:18.380 You went through all this effort to cover up that it was you that was the schizo and

00:26:22.000 like you're still telling the story on recording.

00:26:25.260 They're going to match your face with the fucking surveillance footage, bro.

00:26:27.760 Look, man, it would be so funny if there was actually like, well, no, I got arrested.

00:26:31.440 Because everybody always, well, one, why don't you take a video of it, idiot?

00:26:35.300 Always take videos.

00:26:36.360 But everybody starts fighting, immediately pull your phone and video.

00:26:39.960 All right.

00:26:40.180 Anyways, back to the battle royale.

00:26:41.660 I think we'd probably have to go with Clint just for cardio reasons.

00:26:45.060 I think if all four of her are going at once.

00:26:47.580 Now, if we did like a tournament style.

00:26:48.800 And Clint does say he has heavy hands.

00:26:50.700 If we had like a day to prepare for each one in tournament style, I honestly think I'd probably

00:26:56.320 win, but I think Top would be the wild card in that situation, I think.

00:27:00.160 I think Top, you know, it'd be me and Top probably in the end.

00:27:03.020 It depends on how much damage everybody takes after the first round.

00:27:05.760 So Cole could be a beast.

00:27:07.300 You don't know.

00:27:08.140 He probably has like that crazy.

00:27:10.340 He is the best kind of person to fight.

00:27:12.800 The one who's like brolic, all like sure of themselves now, fucking like ready.

00:27:17.260 No, I, if you know what you're doing, those are the fun people to roll with.

00:27:20.200 Cause you're like, oh, I'm just going to use your retard strength against you.

00:27:23.120 No, Jose, here's what you're missing.

00:27:24.980 Cole, see that smile there?

00:27:26.320 He has a deep seated hate and anger underneath all that, that has not ever, ever been let

00:27:32.240 out.

00:27:32.780 And I do not ever want to see it.

00:27:35.100 And if you do see it, I was just like, no, I do not.

00:27:39.460 Have you ever actually like rolled like wrestling or jujitsu?

00:27:42.500 I mean, I told you I went to one class.

00:27:44.620 I went to one class and we had an open mat.

00:27:46.120 But not particularly like boxing.

00:27:47.900 I mean, I'm sure the same thing applies with boxing, but someone who's like yoked and,

00:27:51.760 or some shit or like, you know, whether they football or whatever, and you got like really

00:27:56.340 sure of themselves, but don't have any sort of fucking like fighting experience.

00:28:00.540 Those are the most fun people to fucking like fuck with.

00:28:03.640 Cause you can embarrass them because they have no idea what you're doing.

00:28:05.840 In the chat guys, Paul and Paul makes a good point.

00:28:08.300 Cole is a snapper.

00:28:09.620 He's right.

00:28:10.020 Oh God.

00:28:11.080 Snapper.

00:28:11.800 That old man.

00:28:12.500 This picture is worse than your last one.

00:28:14.320 Put the last one back.

00:28:15.220 This is terrible.

00:28:16.480 Wait, what's the, am I a fish?

00:28:18.140 I'm so confused.

00:28:19.020 What the fuck is a snapper?

00:28:20.160 Like a turtle?

00:28:20.740 It's just Clint's profile pic, but aged up.

00:28:24.080 That's all.

00:28:26.780 No, it would be a tower gangbang of me.

00:28:31.640 Just, uh, I was about to say this, but then Spud got to beat me to it.

00:28:35.220 Toby places side bets on all the rounds.

00:28:36.960 100% Toby bet.

00:28:38.140 And Toad, if you were betting, who would you bet on?

00:28:40.120 Because of him?

00:28:40.600 He would put his entire life savings on him to be the first to die.

00:28:44.260 And he'd be stoked that he was right.

00:28:45.680 And the funny thing is he wouldn't even win that bet because I would keep his ass alive

00:28:55.440 to distract you motherfuckers while I tried to fight you.

00:28:58.160 I was going to say, it would be the only time I kill myself over a win.

00:29:01.880 So if you were, if you were a spectator, you were sitting high above us and we were in,

00:29:06.980 we were in like some kind of like coliseum fighting to the death and you were able to

00:29:11.700 just place wagers, get autistic on us for you have 60 seconds to tell us.

00:29:15.680 Tell us how you see this going.

00:29:18.520 Well, there are going to be odds on it, right?

00:29:21.160 So like, they're like, there are going to be different odds on each of you here.

00:29:25.700 So I would tell us the odds you can set the odds.

00:29:28.220 You set the odds.

00:29:29.560 You've been doing this for 20 years, man.

00:29:32.960 Well, I think, uh, no, nobody would be like actually a favorite against the field, but

00:29:38.300 Jose, I think would be the, uh, the odds on favorites.

00:29:40.920 So I think we're looking at probably Jose is going to be around like plus one 80.

00:29:46.380 We'll, we'll give him something like that.

00:29:48.200 That's a heavy favorite against some mine.

00:29:50.420 It wouldn't be minus one 80.

00:29:51.720 No, no, no.

00:29:52.160 I'm saying he's plus one 80 because this is everybody is an underdog against the rest of

00:29:57.540 the field.

00:29:58.000 So is Clint shitting blood at this point?

00:30:00.760 Or is he like, no, we're all in our prime.

00:30:02.860 We're in our prime.

00:30:03.600 Actually, wait, is Reed one body shot and you guys can kill me right now.

00:30:07.760 Is Reed fighting?

00:30:08.560 Reed's there, but he's on his phone the whole time.

00:30:13.920 All right.

00:30:14.600 Jose plus one 80 Clint, uh, plus two 20.

00:30:19.900 We'll go top, uh, plus two 50 Cole plus 300 and Reed plus, uh, I think we could be,

00:30:29.480 it should be, it should be like a plus 200 plus two 50.

00:30:32.100 So we're around there too.

00:30:32.740 He's on his phone.

00:30:33.780 So plus, oh, that's true.

00:30:34.900 Yeah.

00:30:35.140 He's like, I don't know.

00:30:36.280 All right.

00:30:38.840 Thank you for wrapping that up for us.

00:30:40.180 So that's enough.

00:30:40.760 I think that was good though.

00:30:42.420 I, because I wanted to know that I also want to know, okay, would it change it at all?

00:30:47.100 If it was more like a, uh, hunger games type of situation where we're just put into some

00:30:52.860 like, like a jungle or something.

00:30:54.740 And then we have to survive.

00:30:55.500 Reed dominates.

00:30:56.880 Reed dominates there.

00:30:58.100 He dominates there.

00:30:58.740 Yeah.

00:30:58.960 You've been watching last of us.

00:31:00.720 He's legit.

00:31:01.200 Nick Offerman in that fuck it in last of us.

00:31:03.400 That would be something to do.

00:31:04.980 Yeah.

00:31:05.120 That's traps and shit.

00:31:06.540 Including the butt fucking, fucking Clint on the side.

00:31:09.860 He like, the Andy cries as he slits Clint.

00:31:14.260 The best part is like, if we do that, if we do like a weird, like, uh, hunger games, battle

00:31:19.880 Royale type of thing, we could group up.

00:31:21.980 So like, we would be able to like make, uh, alliances and like fucking fuck up other people.

00:31:27.780 So, and then, and still have to survive.

00:31:29.680 And there'd be like random fucking, uh, have a game master.

00:31:33.020 Toe would be game master.

00:31:34.040 That would be so dope.

00:31:35.100 Toe could be in there because he's not necessarily, I mean, the smart guys sometimes fucking win

00:31:39.940 hungry.

00:31:40.440 At Tower Fest.

00:31:41.140 We're going to do this at Tower Fest at my house next year.

00:31:43.660 And we are going to kill each other.

00:31:45.200 Only one tower game member.

00:31:46.580 No, we'll kill you guys.

00:31:48.480 We get a new cast.

00:31:49.160 Just, yeah, we're going to, we'll just be the host and we'll just kill you guys off.

00:31:52.780 It'll be a lot of fun.

00:31:54.160 I bet P-Nord.

00:31:54.920 Honestly, I would not want to be in a, uh, like in closed space to P-Nord if I, if it

00:31:59.600 was a battle of death.

00:32:01.200 I do love the idea.

00:32:02.280 But I would want to be on an island if I was, uh, stranded because I'd eat his ass.

00:32:07.720 Eat his ass?

00:32:08.420 I do love the idea.

00:32:09.380 Eat his ass?

00:32:11.040 Whatever.

00:32:11.960 I do love the idea of the hunger game situation with Cole.

00:32:16.800 Cause I feel like someone would pick him at an ally with thinking like, well, he's an

00:32:20.480 engineer.

00:32:20.920 I'm sure he can like make contraptions.

00:32:22.780 And he'd be like, here's a stick with a wire.

00:32:26.360 It's a whip.

00:32:28.380 We would find out real quick how much of not an engineer Cole is.

00:32:32.080 Jesus.

00:32:33.280 It's true.

00:32:34.500 Well, we'd love to be a manhole.

00:32:35.880 We'd just be making everybody like toilets.

00:32:38.000 They're like, goddammit Cole.

00:32:39.420 We're starving.

00:32:39.860 I mean, we'd be going to Cole to get some of his, uh, blood though, after they lose

00:32:44.740 blood.

00:32:45.340 So.

00:32:46.300 No, I think you guys would want to keep me alive in that scenario because while I'm not

00:32:49.780 handy whatsoever, I can definitely bang and I'm also like smart tactically.

00:32:54.920 So like, you'd want to keep me around.

00:32:56.240 And if we're going to create an economy.

00:32:57.520 Smart tactically, dude, you're hanging out with communists, you fucking dumbass.

00:33:00.180 You're bleeding out, you asshole, because you're hanging out with communists, you retard.

00:33:05.960 I paid the price for that.

00:33:06.960 Smart tactically.

00:33:08.980 He's going to get everyone together like, now, if we take all our resources and then

00:33:12.420 distribute them.

00:33:13.620 We have to make sure that the means of production are held by the labor class.

00:33:23.500 All right.

00:33:23.740 What's the next one?

00:33:24.540 Next question.

00:33:25.740 That was a great question.

00:33:27.360 All right.

00:33:27.900 So Liminal Vibration asks, in honor of Milf Mansion, which I will pull up for you guys,

00:33:34.880 uh, Milf Mansion.

00:33:35.480 I've already seen it.

00:33:36.740 What would the gang's pitch for a reality show on TLC be?

00:33:40.460 Is this, is this that, uh, one where the, they're with their sons?

00:33:45.300 Is that the one, this one, that one?

00:33:46.920 Or am I thinking of a different one?

00:33:47.960 There's that one where it's like the moms and their sons.

00:33:51.020 And then they try to hook up like with the other moms and sons.

00:33:54.960 It is.

00:33:55.120 Yeah, yeah.

00:33:55.440 That is what this is.

00:33:56.500 I'm pretty sure.

00:33:56.620 That's what this one is?

00:33:57.320 Okay.

00:33:57.500 I think, I think it is.

00:33:58.560 All right.

00:33:58.800 I have, I have to pitch.

00:34:00.000 I have the pitch idea already for the alliteration purposes.

00:34:02.480 It'll be called gang gilfs and it's the gang just fucking gilfs.

00:34:08.300 All right.

00:34:08.820 Well, that, that sounds like Reed's paradise.

00:34:11.840 This is Reed's paradise right here.

00:34:13.480 Finding a gilf is impressive.

00:34:15.020 You're like, whoa.

00:34:16.200 Like when you find a legit gilf, you're like, all right.

00:34:18.560 This is Reed's paradise.

00:34:19.680 This is mine.

00:34:20.880 Are you a milf?

00:34:21.860 Can we do the, are you milf quiz real quick?

00:34:24.000 Just let's click on that.

00:34:24.860 Yeah, let's do it.

00:34:25.920 Yeah, let's do it.

00:34:26.480 Instead of doing the pitch, let's do this.

00:34:31.200 Give them an email so we can get the fucking answers.

00:34:34.380 Oh, it's going to suck.

00:34:35.780 No, scroll down.

00:34:37.040 Take the quiz.

00:34:37.820 Take the quiz.

00:34:38.360 Take the quiz.

00:34:38.940 All right, let's do it.

00:34:39.560 What is your social security number?

00:34:42.020 Are we a milf?

00:34:43.240 Do younger people often flirt with you?

00:34:46.420 Clint needs, we should all say the love Clint.

00:34:48.540 So yes, it happens.

00:34:49.720 Yes, I love it.

00:34:51.520 That's why I love it.

00:34:52.480 Yeah, do it.

00:34:55.960 When you're out and about a young woman, your daughter, niece, do strangers ever refer to you as her sister?

00:35:01.340 What the fuck?

00:35:02.180 I bet Toad gets that sometimes.

00:35:04.460 I feel like it's Toad.

00:35:06.800 I mean, does it count?

00:35:08.380 Not very often.

00:35:09.080 Not very often.

00:35:09.900 Yeah, not very often.

00:35:10.840 Let's be honest.

00:35:13.740 What's this one say?

00:35:14.580 Describe your personal style.

00:35:16.780 I dress to impress and hop on the latest trends.

00:35:18.980 I dress for comfort first and fashion second.

00:35:21.440 Classic, chic, and timeless.

00:35:22.860 I would say comfort, yeah.

00:35:24.780 Clint is definitely a comfort guy.

00:35:26.620 Yeah, he's a comfort guy.

00:35:28.060 Clint, are you going to wear underwear tomorrow?

00:35:31.940 Nah, bro.

00:35:32.320 Really?

00:35:32.720 Are you wearing underwear now?

00:35:34.660 Are you going to wear now?

00:35:35.720 That's a good point.

00:35:36.600 No, I'm not wearing underwear right now.

00:35:38.340 Jesus, dude.

00:35:39.040 You're just...

00:35:40.040 Dude, you have skeptic leaking out of your ass right now.

00:35:42.680 This is the worst quiz ever.

00:35:46.040 One of the questions is like, are you a milf?

00:35:49.120 I am.

00:35:49.420 Are you a milf quiz?

00:35:53.800 I mean, this is basically the same question.

00:35:55.540 Do you think you're a cougar?

00:35:56.520 Definitely not.

00:35:57.980 No, you are sort of...

00:35:59.800 I'm open dating younger.

00:36:00.620 No, this is Clint.

00:36:01.360 This is Clint.

00:36:02.060 Yeah, you're open dating younger.

00:36:03.820 100%.

00:36:04.340 Yeah.

00:36:06.120 Yeah, no shit.

00:36:07.440 God, this sucks, dude.

00:36:08.420 Do you cherish the most...

00:36:09.360 Yeah, let's ditch this.

00:36:10.540 What's your favorite thing about my outfit, Clint?

00:36:15.280 Leaving them.

00:36:17.320 Hey, yo, little kids.

00:36:18.420 Do you see people leaving high school and ask yourself if it's legal to talk to them?

00:36:22.560 I do.

00:36:23.440 You are the hang out with my kids and being their best friend.

00:36:26.440 Wait.

00:36:27.400 Yeah.

00:36:27.840 Why is there no answer that's like, I...

00:36:30.320 How is there so many questions?

00:36:32.540 I have no idea.

00:36:33.120 All right.

00:36:33.520 Turn this shit off.

00:36:34.600 Yeah, this is awful.

00:36:35.440 I'm going to fucking fly out to where you are and punch you in the face for even pulling

00:36:38.380 this off.

00:36:38.700 The answer is yes.

00:36:40.360 Clint is a milf, though.

00:36:41.560 All right.

00:36:42.140 Anyways, the question was, what show would we pitch?

00:36:44.460 I don't have any ones right now off the top of my head.

00:36:46.840 I would do...

00:36:48.160 I thought about this before.

00:36:49.880 I would do...

00:36:50.440 It would have nothing to do with this gay shit.

00:36:52.480 You ever seen Dude Perfect on YouTube?

00:36:54.480 Yeah.

00:36:54.740 Those guys?

00:36:55.740 I would do that kind of show with us.

00:36:58.840 But instead of doing sports tricks, we just do other dumb shit.

00:37:02.200 I don't know what we do, but it would be fun.

00:37:04.420 I'm so down.

00:37:06.380 I think Tate's Blue Balls, where you try traffic the most whores and not get caught by Eliza

00:37:11.080 Blue.

00:37:13.720 How funny is it that Eliza Blue went on TimCast and just trashed Andrew Tate, and two weeks

00:37:19.600 later, her career is...

00:37:21.060 It's kind of fucked up, but her career...

00:37:22.720 It's almost fitting.

00:37:23.920 And there's been a bunch of shit that's come out that makes it seem like it might be kind

00:37:27.660 of bullshit with the Tate thing, I think, right?

00:37:29.200 I mean, I haven't followed it closely.

00:37:30.660 Yeah, they're really fucking that.

00:37:31.380 Who do you think is under more mental torment?

00:37:34.600 Eliza Blue right now losing her following and all that stuff, or Andrew Tate being locked

00:37:38.700 in a cell for fucking three months?

00:37:40.860 She's probably...

00:37:41.780 Yeah, that would think...

00:37:42.780 I think Andrew Tate's life hangs in the balance, so I'm going to...

00:37:46.100 Yeah.

00:37:47.440 No, but he's still a man.

00:37:48.620 He's still a man, so he's still keeping it together, and he can mentally...

00:37:54.120 That's what I mean.

00:37:54.920 Who is keeping it together more, Eliza Blue or Andrew Tate?

00:37:58.180 That's a great question.

00:37:58.680 Andrew Tate.

00:37:59.400 I think so.

00:37:59.780 Top did just reinvent jackass for us.

00:38:03.960 That's all I did.

00:38:04.780 I was going off the impractical...

00:38:06.300 I would love to see us do impractical jokers, but the problem is every time it would just

00:38:10.220 be us, like, be like, say the N-word to this black person.

00:38:12.900 That's all it would be.

00:38:13.920 Just every time.

00:38:15.120 That's all it would be.

00:38:16.360 Just be like...

00:38:17.580 It's like, you see a woman be like, raper.

00:38:19.380 Raper, now.

00:38:21.560 It's like the one...

00:38:22.780 You see the bit they do where it's like, you have to sell an item to these people,

00:38:26.400 and then you pull it up, it's just a wood carving that says nigger.

00:38:30.400 God damn it, Cole.

00:38:34.580 My idea would be that we all attempt to sneak onto Epstein Island and see who can actually

00:38:41.080 get away with it.

00:38:42.120 Oh, that's the fun.

00:38:42.960 They close it down.

00:38:44.140 No, no.

00:38:45.160 You have to drive past the Home Depot and try and get day laborers into your car, and then

00:38:48.740 they get on the mic, say, say, spick, spick.

00:38:53.220 It's still...

00:38:53.740 It's still a great idea.

00:38:55.240 I don't know why people aren't doing it.

00:38:56.540 No, it's still there, and it's, like, under, like, watch.

00:38:58.960 Like, under some sort of...

00:38:59.620 No, the best would be, like...

00:39:01.020 Surveillance.

00:39:01.680 That's what I'm saying.

00:39:02.140 Go to Home Depot in an ice, like, uniform.

00:39:06.240 Oh, my God.

00:39:06.540 And if any of you can pick up one, like, one worker for the day, you win.

00:39:11.840 It's great.

00:39:11.980 Just, like, get in there.

00:39:12.960 It's great.

00:39:13.680 It has to be, like, ice, everything, and be like, you have to say, like, I'm from ice, but I

00:39:17.660 just need, like, someone to build a porch for me for the day.

00:39:19.940 I know this is unrelated, but this is a good time to bring up my idea, my Netflix idea.

00:39:24.120 Again, a brick-and-mortar Netflix store.

00:39:26.340 It doesn't sell movies.

00:39:27.380 It doesn't rent movies.

00:39:28.300 It's basically a concession stand.

00:39:29.620 You can go there, but it would be, like, when you go in, they'd be, like, a wine connoisseur,

00:39:33.560 but he's of movies, and you can talk to him, and then he'll tell you what movie to watch.

00:39:37.260 This is a good idea.

00:39:39.000 Fuck anybody who thinks it's not a good idea.

00:39:41.680 This is a moneymaker.

00:39:42.900 Yeah, a movie sommelier.

00:39:44.520 And they also, they sell you popcorn and candy.

00:39:47.320 And all this stuff.

00:39:48.200 But it's also still, like, way overcharged for some reason.

00:39:51.000 So it's still, like, $7 for a candy bar.

00:39:53.460 What I love about Top is that I don't actually agree with any of his business ideas, but he

00:39:57.700 sells them in such a way that I'm like, let me give you my money.

00:40:01.480 I want to be a partner in this.

00:40:03.660 Because it sounds so stupid.

00:40:04.680 I would never go to a store and ask a guy.

00:40:06.400 There's, like, IMDB and all these other fucking movies.

00:40:08.280 There's so many other places.

00:40:10.260 He's like, no, no, no.

00:40:11.300 We have movie sommelier.

00:40:12.800 No, but the problem is you're forgetting that Blockbuster did used to have,

00:40:16.720 didn't they used to have, like, the wall of, like, the, whoever worked there, like,

00:40:20.660 their favorite movies for the time?

00:40:21.960 Yeah, their picks.

00:40:22.440 Yeah, their picks.

00:40:23.220 And that was something people, the Amazing Racist did.

00:40:25.760 Amazing Racist.

00:40:26.340 That would be awesome.

00:40:26.800 That was already sufficient.

00:40:28.420 Yo.

00:40:29.660 That would be, I mean, yeah, I guess he did it.

00:40:31.440 But it'd be, like, doing the Amazing Race.

00:40:33.120 But every country you go to, you have to, like, find the most, like, racist thing you can do.

00:40:37.620 Ari was still doing that shit, like, back when it was, like, not good, but it was still kind of, like,

00:40:42.680 your career wasn't over.

00:40:44.060 Like, our careers would be over, over if we did it.

00:40:46.620 So we should do it now.

00:40:47.800 Our careers.

00:40:50.260 Dude, it's so funny.

00:40:51.240 I saw Theo Vaughn.

00:40:52.760 And when he's talking, he's talking to, oh, who's that fucking Italian fucker?

00:40:58.280 And, um.

00:40:59.280 All right.

00:40:59.560 Little Diggy, next question.

00:41:00.800 No, damn it.

00:41:01.400 But, no, he was just talking about the N-word.

00:41:02.960 He was like, yeah, I stopped using the N-word, like, you know, like, five years ago when it became bad.

00:41:06.800 That's what he was saying.

00:41:09.160 He said something that was like, uh, I don't use the N-word unless you do.

00:41:13.040 You know what I'm saying?

00:41:14.740 It was so good.

00:41:15.700 Yeah, sometimes I'll be tweeting some crazy shit.

00:41:18.260 Like, I just said only cis white males, right, on this.

00:41:20.800 Yeah.

00:41:21.060 And then I'm like, and then I realized, oh, shit, like, Terrence McKinney followed.

00:41:24.220 Like, he just liked one of my posts today.

00:41:25.720 I'm like, Terrence McKinney, the UFC fighter.

00:41:27.540 Like, if he sees this.

00:41:28.820 And he just put up a picture of him training with, like, fucking the champ, the 205 champ right now.

00:41:33.940 I forget his name.

00:41:34.700 And I'm like, oh, my God.

00:41:35.640 If this guy ever sees me, he's going to kick my ass.

00:41:37.560 But I said, you know what?

00:41:38.680 Fuck it.

00:41:38.960 I'm going to say nigga anyway.

00:41:40.280 Yeah.

00:41:41.360 You got to live life dangerous.

00:41:42.540 I think he'll respect it, honestly.

00:41:43.940 I think most dudes are not bitches, so.

00:41:45.980 Probably not.

00:41:46.500 He'll probably punch me, but whatever.

00:41:48.420 And make a good story.

00:41:49.400 But it's a respectful punch.

00:41:51.060 It's just like, you know.

00:41:51.980 It's a respectful punch.

00:41:52.760 Like, he's like, I think you're funny.

00:41:54.160 I don't really want to do this, but I got to do it.

00:41:57.300 All right, Lil Dicky.

00:41:58.200 Next question.

00:41:58.860 And then we got to get to seeding our tournament for next month.

00:42:01.300 Yeah, we'll see our tournament.

00:42:02.040 All right, so Novum asks, I just got my first blowy today.

00:42:06.120 Does that mean I'm not a virgin anymore?

00:42:08.080 And then he adds, she tried, but alas, no mythical.

00:42:13.520 She tried?

00:42:14.340 You got your first blowjob today?

00:42:15.960 Yo.

00:42:17.680 Congrats.

00:42:18.180 Fuck yeah.

00:42:19.180 Congratulations, you faggot.

00:42:21.140 Good job.

00:42:21.620 Way down my first one.

00:42:22.480 It was from a dude, right?

00:42:24.220 It'd be cooler if it wasn't from a guy, but still respect, I guess.

00:42:27.140 No, you're still a virgin if you get a blowjob, though.

00:42:29.220 Yeah, for sure.

00:42:30.440 I think someone on this show said that they'd never come to a blowjob.

00:42:33.880 Me.

00:42:34.080 Yeah.

00:42:34.720 Never.

00:42:35.200 Is that really true?

00:42:36.420 Never.

00:42:36.700 How is that true?

00:42:37.480 I can't believe you just keep saying that while you're married.

00:42:39.760 It's nuts.

00:42:40.940 No.

00:42:41.200 Well, he's not going to be married much longer.

00:42:43.240 I would never say that out loud if I was in a serious relationship.

00:42:46.760 Why?

00:42:47.760 I mean, he does not like.

00:42:49.180 Do I really do explain that to you?

00:42:50.880 Why?

00:42:52.160 I mean, I just get pussy.

00:42:53.760 That's it.

00:42:54.120 I just get pussy.

00:42:54.760 I mean, whatever.

00:42:55.300 Good for you.

00:42:55.900 I mean.

00:42:56.300 No, dude, I'm loving where I'm at right now, dude.

00:42:57.760 I, my, my wife found a secret fetish that she likes.

00:43:01.860 What did we tell?

00:43:05.840 Look at Clint.

00:43:06.740 He's like, here's now.

00:43:09.180 I'm listening.

00:43:11.900 Oh, God damn it.

00:43:14.200 Oh, you'll tell, you'll admit to the world your wife gives trash head, but you won't fucking,

00:43:18.440 you won't say what weird fetish you guys are into right now?

00:43:21.000 All right.

00:43:21.480 I see what's up.

00:43:22.040 Wow.

00:43:22.500 Yeah.

00:43:23.020 Wow.

00:43:23.420 Just pick it up.

00:43:25.340 I really want to know.

00:43:26.120 I mean, well, I mean, you, you, you, Jose and Top, your wife's have been pregnant.

00:43:30.580 I mean, did they ever get into, you know, titty sucking like real quick afterwards or

00:43:34.900 were they just like always know?

00:43:36.200 Oh yeah, dog.

00:43:37.180 Uh, my, my, I don't remember.

00:43:38.740 I'm sure I did, but my wife's titties were always so goddamn sore that like, she was just

00:43:43.340 like, it was like pretty much always a bra on.

00:43:45.600 Cause it was like, when she was breastfeeding or like towards the end of the pregnancy, they're

00:43:49.000 like cows.

00:43:49.500 Like you have to milk them or their, their titties will get sore.

00:43:51.940 So like, you're actually doing her a favor.

00:43:53.340 You're not being a pervert.

00:43:54.240 No, wait, is it, is it your milk?

00:43:57.400 Are you, are you milking her?

00:43:58.520 Is that what's going on right now?

00:44:00.300 Oh, I'm not saying nothing.

00:44:05.620 I can't say nothing.

00:44:06.320 I'm not going to.

00:44:06.660 He's bending her over a bucket.

00:44:10.840 No, he's using a tape and we know how it works.

00:44:15.140 All right.

00:44:15.860 All right.

00:44:16.260 I mean, it's, it's, it's been, it's been fun lately.

00:44:20.560 I mean, it's, it's like, it's, it's been.

00:44:22.820 Breast book's dope, dude.

00:44:23.740 If you're, but like, honestly, if you're going to swallow her fluids, you should swallow

00:44:26.580 yours.

00:44:27.720 Yeah.

00:44:28.120 I just, I, I just, she always says just like, she's got to get them first though.

00:44:31.880 She can't, she can't get them.

00:44:33.340 That's the problem.

00:44:34.380 Let me get me.

00:44:35.380 Do you not like blowjobs?

00:44:36.860 Like, no, I love blowjobs.

00:44:38.320 I mean, I'm a dude.

00:44:39.180 No, you don't.

00:44:39.720 Well, the problem is like, I never had a blowjob.

00:44:41.880 I came to, so it's not like if I was to be like, do you want a blowjob or do you want

00:44:45.260 to fuck?

00:44:45.640 I'm like, I want to fuck.

00:44:46.660 Have you had girls that try to get you off?

00:44:48.220 I mean, yeah, I've had blowjobs, but like none of them ever, never.

00:44:52.760 Wow.

00:44:53.680 Wow.

00:44:55.000 You fucked like two chicks though, so.

00:44:57.260 I fucked one chick.

00:44:58.160 Well, I guess that's not true.

00:44:59.080 Sorry.

00:44:59.300 Yes, you're right.

00:44:59.880 I have fucked two chicks.

00:45:00.420 I feel like, I feel like Jose can make you come.

00:45:03.220 Yeah, I could definitely could.

00:45:06.460 As we've discussed on the show, dudes, dudes are better at it than women because they have

00:45:11.880 the equipment.

00:45:12.760 I'll continue to take your word for it.

00:45:14.380 I don't believe it.

00:45:15.500 All right.

00:45:17.080 No, yeah, I just never can't.

00:45:18.500 And like, usually she'll just say like, ah, my jaw's hurting.

00:45:22.100 Sorry.

00:45:23.140 That old shit.

00:45:25.800 I've got TMJ or whatever the fuck that shit is.

00:45:28.500 All right.

00:45:30.060 I fucking love Paul.

00:45:30.880 He's a scoundrel.

00:45:32.240 I love Paul.

00:45:33.980 Are his daughters of age and is he sending them all to me?

00:45:37.180 Apparently people were, and someone said in the chat that people are, no, I think in

00:45:41.660 Lil Dicky, private message Justin said that people are hitting on Paul's daughters in the

00:45:45.600 chat, so.

00:45:47.080 Oh, fuck yeah.

00:45:48.160 Oh, shit.

00:45:49.280 Sorry, Paul.

00:45:49.840 Meredith, I shall teach Liz, so, I mean.

00:45:53.780 Well.

00:45:54.280 Oh.

00:45:54.920 All right, guys.

00:45:55.940 You're still a virgin.

00:45:57.100 All right.

00:45:57.320 Let's, uh, what do you guys do?

00:45:58.960 Plugs?

00:45:59.600 Madry?

00:46:00.140 Oh, Josie.

00:46:00.840 Yeah, Josie says his Lizzie tips.

00:46:03.500 Clint is supposed to do it.

00:46:04.740 Whoa.

00:46:05.200 Clint.

00:46:06.320 Let's do a spaces on it.

00:46:08.020 She's a savage.

00:46:09.220 She's a fucking savage.

00:46:11.040 I feel bad because all of a sudden Elizabeth is going to be laying in bed and it's her DMs

00:46:15.360 that are going to get sort of filled up with like, you need to know how to blowjob.

00:46:17.980 I'll teach you how to blowjob.

00:46:19.260 Josie, let me, let me co-host that spaces, all right?

00:46:22.020 Yes, you and a three-year letterman get on spaces and talk about how to give a blowjob.

00:46:29.860 Oh, we should imagine a three-year letterman on the show would be crazy.

00:46:35.160 Oh, that would be insane.

00:46:36.360 Dude, he's so fucking funny.

00:46:37.220 That would be a lot of fun.

00:46:37.700 We're mutuals now.

00:46:38.620 I could try.

00:46:39.660 Yeah.

00:46:40.280 Let's do it.

00:46:40.600 You also have Ryan Long's number and he's still not having been on, so.

00:46:43.620 He just ignores him.

00:46:44.840 Yeah, he just ignores me.

00:46:45.880 He was on with Rogan yesterday.

00:46:47.740 Ryan Long.

00:46:48.200 I saw that and I immediately thought of you and I was like, damn.

00:46:51.060 Yeah, that's exactly what I thought too.

00:46:52.300 I was like, damn.

00:46:53.220 I'm going to see Ryan Long next month, so.

00:46:55.860 God.

00:46:57.680 Yeah, she's going to kill me.

00:46:59.400 But that place is crazy.

00:47:00.740 Oh, God.

00:47:01.780 And we should bring Liz on as well so we're like, she can ask any questions and we can

00:47:06.040 give her feedback.

00:47:06.280 Oh, I forgot.

00:47:06.680 I still need to do our special, our milk tasting.

00:47:09.440 I still need to do our.

00:47:10.220 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:47:10.860 That's true.

00:47:11.360 That has to happen, yeah.

00:47:12.280 I still think we have to ship our cum to you though for that.

00:47:15.060 Yeah.

00:47:15.860 Yeah.

00:47:16.200 How long does cum last?

00:47:18.200 One of them has to be cum, man.

00:47:19.620 I don't know.

00:47:20.260 You can drink it if it's going stale.

00:47:23.260 I mean, theoretically, it lasts a pretty goddamn long time, but now do you want to drink it

00:47:28.460 at that point?

00:47:28.920 I don't know.

00:47:29.120 Well, wait a minute though.

00:47:29.840 We need it back up.

00:47:30.680 You're not trying to get pregnant, so it doesn't really matter.

00:47:34.980 Well, you don't have to be swimming.

00:47:36.560 They just have to be there, you know?

00:47:38.440 You got to warm it up.

00:47:39.380 You want the real experience.

00:47:40.740 You got to stick in your ass and then let it drip back out.

00:47:44.340 Nice and warm.

00:47:45.100 We could just have it be Kohl's cum so that it's fresher.

00:47:49.220 I don't know.

00:47:50.280 I never tasted my own cum.

00:47:51.440 That could be such a...

00:47:52.260 That's why I'm saying it, yeah.

00:47:53.480 I haven't either and I don't want to, but for this show, I'd do it.

00:47:57.380 Wait, you...

00:47:57.860 Oh, shit.

00:47:58.320 You just volunteer to drink his own cum.

00:47:59.960 All right.

00:48:00.600 No, no.

00:48:01.020 If there was a competition...

00:48:02.100 I'll do it.

00:48:05.620 You know what?

00:48:06.080 Whatever.

00:48:06.420 He's like, I've been waiting for this.

00:48:08.540 I'll drink my own cum.

00:48:09.700 Believe me, guys.

00:48:10.440 It's the best.

00:48:11.360 So what's the competition?

00:48:12.420 I don't understand.

00:48:13.460 I'm saying if we come up with something, then there could be the loser who drinks his own

00:48:16.980 cum.

00:48:18.020 Oh, I thought the winner would drink their own cum.

00:48:20.660 Yeah, it's quite the prize.

00:48:22.320 I want to have proteins in cum enough to make a difference or something like that.

00:48:26.200 I put it in my coffee every morning, man.

00:48:28.700 All right.

00:48:29.000 That explains it.

00:48:29.640 All right, guys.

00:48:30.720 We got it.

00:48:31.340 What do we got?

00:48:32.160 Do the fucking...

00:48:33.120 Do plugs?

00:48:34.060 Yeah, let's do plugs.

00:48:35.320 Yeah, we got to do that.

00:48:36.300 All right.

00:48:37.360 We got to do that.

00:48:38.780 We have to do that.

00:48:39.600 We have to do that.

00:48:40.640 Oh, I'm the host.

00:48:44.980 I'm the host today.

00:48:45.880 This is my show.

00:48:47.000 Yeah.

00:48:47.780 Tune in to my show, Tower Gang, every Wednesday, 9-11.

00:48:52.340 And catch me at toplobster.com.

00:48:55.080 Bam, bam, bam.

00:48:56.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:48:56.760 And podcastmerch.com.

00:48:58.180 Hell yeah.

00:48:58.960 Check me out in all those places.

00:49:00.080 Top Lobster with an A on Twitter.

00:49:02.040 Break me over 15,000.

00:49:03.280 That would be pretty dope.

00:49:03.960 Go ahead, guys.

00:49:04.780 Who's next?

00:49:05.380 Yeah.

00:49:06.000 Clint Russell, Liberty Lockdown.

00:49:07.400 I will be on TimCast IRL tomorrow night with Josie, the Redhead Libertarian.

00:49:11.620 It is going to be amazing.

00:49:13.140 Do not miss it.

00:49:14.140 Yeah.

00:49:14.420 Jose.

00:49:15.420 All right.

00:49:15.780 I'm Jose.

00:49:16.720 No Way Jose is my show.

00:49:18.060 I'm sure if you hassle Cassandra enough, I might get back on TimCast.

00:49:21.800 Go bugger.

00:49:23.180 But yeah, I don't really have anything big to plug so far as that.

00:49:27.040 But follow me on Twitter at Tower Gang Jose.

00:49:28.920 My show is on YouTube.

00:49:29.900 All major odd blockers in Odyssey as well.

00:49:31.980 Jose, are you still doing those stupid daily updates on Yiki?

00:49:35.600 Daily updates?

00:49:36.420 Oh, I need to do another one.

00:49:37.780 I need to go back.

00:49:38.400 I already used up all my notes.

00:49:39.940 So, but no.

00:49:40.900 I don't know.

00:49:41.360 Go get the Terrence Yiki shirt at toplobser.com.

00:49:43.640 Uh, Cole at Fat Comic Dave or at Tower Gang Cole have both, uh, I think follow me at either

00:49:49.780 one.

00:49:50.380 What I'm trying to do now is the kind of the more funny stuff that actually just random

00:49:54.160 funny shit is on Fat Comic Dave and then just my random life and bullshit is on my own

00:49:59.640 personal one.

00:50:00.660 But then you have Tower Gang, uh, and the fucking Patreon, but code car save more there.

00:50:04.960 Uh, also, by the way, I did talk to a friend of mine, IRL friend that did watch Clint and

00:50:09.940 Top on, uh, Tim Cattery.

00:50:12.340 It was boring as shit.

00:50:13.720 And I was like, yes, it was.

00:50:15.420 And I said, it's my fault.

00:50:17.040 I took the blame and I said, I told them about Crowder and then Top told Tim about Crowder

00:50:22.300 and then that's what they did.

00:50:23.380 And I was like, it's my fault.

00:50:24.340 I was, I was taking Cole's advice and jerking off in the shower, the hotel room when he said,

00:50:29.280 listen to this, uh, this Crowder bit.

00:50:31.560 I listened to it, boarded it up and fucking the rest is history.

00:50:33.900 Thanks, Cole.

00:50:34.220 Yep.

00:50:34.760 Terrible.

00:50:35.400 And then it's because of that.

00:50:36.460 He didn't watch Jose and Reed.

00:50:38.080 And I was like, damn it.

00:50:39.440 All right.

00:50:42.080 Tower Gang Toad on Twitter.

00:50:43.960 Tower Gang every Wednesday, 9, 11 PM.

00:50:46.400 And subscribe to the page on patreon.com slash tower gang pod.

00:50:50.540 We're tower gang pod everywhere.

00:50:52.540 YouTube Odyssey rumble.

00:50:54.320 Let's go.

00:50:55.500 All right.

00:50:55.760 Fun fact, uh, Top, uh, I recorded an episode last night and the motherfucker, uh, was wearing

00:51:00.740 a Terrence, the Terrence Yiki shirt.

00:51:02.120 I didn't even, I didn't even plan that.

00:51:03.420 So that was dope.

00:51:03.840 I saw a bunch of Mises caucus people in the chat tonight on IRL that were saying Terrence

00:51:08.500 Yiki didn't kill himself.

00:51:09.500 I was like, yo, Jose, yo, fuck yeah, dude.

00:51:12.780 What if he, what if randomly like Jose starts some national movement?

00:51:15.780 Like, like, like how the Jeffrey Epstein didn't kill himself thing went off.

00:51:18.880 Like for some reason, Terrence Yiki becomes not killing himself, becomes a meme.

00:51:22.340 It just blows up.

00:51:23.340 But then Jose gets no, uh, but then Jose gets no, uh, nothing from it.

00:51:25.960 That's what's going to happen.

00:51:26.280 Yeah.

00:51:26.400 He just gets nothing from it.

00:51:28.000 So it makes a way worse shirt.

00:51:31.040 Just all it says is just no background image.

00:51:33.320 In fairness, in fairness, it should be, uh, I'm blanking on his name.

00:51:37.980 No, no.

00:51:38.720 The dope motherfucker that created those videos that like, oh yeah, that's true.

00:51:43.720 Yeah.

00:51:43.920 I'm good.

00:51:44.220 I don't care.

00:51:44.780 As long as it spreads, I don't give a shit.

00:51:46.120 It'll be like, it'll be like Luke Rukowski.

00:51:48.380 He'll take all the fucking.

00:51:50.000 Yeah.

00:51:50.280 Whatever.

00:51:51.060 God damn it.

00:51:51.640 It's not another, it's just another shirt, but it just literally just says he didn't kill

00:51:55.280 himself.

00:51:56.040 No background image.

00:51:57.140 No.

00:51:57.420 Like it's so cool and all that shit.

00:51:59.580 Boring text.

00:52:00.380 Yeah.

00:52:00.440 Boring text.

00:52:02.360 Let's get like halfway through the, uh, to the seating and then we'll fucking do that.

00:52:06.480 So.

00:52:06.580 Do what?

00:52:06.900 Sounds good.

00:52:07.700 All right, guys.

00:52:08.520 We, uh, actually, I'll let you introduce it since it was your idea.

00:52:11.180 Your idea.

00:52:12.020 No, no.

00:52:12.400 It was Toad's idea.

00:52:13.560 This is my idea from like over six months ago.

00:52:15.960 So I don't count as my idea anymore.

00:52:17.540 So it's good about this idea is Top Lobster's art.

00:52:20.860 Go ahead.

00:52:21.560 Uh, well, we'll see about that.

00:52:23.980 But, uh, so we're doing a, another bracket style tournament.

00:52:27.860 We're doing it in March this time because it's March madness, baby.

00:52:31.440 And we have decided that we are going to do March mass shootings this time.

00:52:36.260 We're going to determine what is the best mass shooting based on criteria that we come

00:52:42.980 up with on the spot.

00:52:44.340 And we're filling out this bracket today and we'll start doing it next week and do it all

00:52:50.420 throughout March.

00:52:51.160 That is right.

00:52:51.880 March mass shooting.

00:52:52.780 Looking, looking at the graphic has made this feel a lot more real than it was before.

00:52:56.220 Fuck yeah.

00:52:56.960 That's right.

00:52:57.440 This is real, baby.

00:52:58.440 You're, you're in it now.

00:52:59.440 You have bullets flying at you.

00:53:01.320 Uh, all right.

00:53:02.900 Look, I mean, we should get to some of the obvious ones here.

00:53:05.520 I think Columbine is going in here.

00:53:07.480 I assume.

00:53:07.940 Yep.

00:53:08.340 Columbine.

00:53:08.840 Columbine's kind of like the OG.

00:53:11.160 No.

00:53:13.720 I disagree.

00:53:15.080 Toad.

00:53:15.660 I object.

00:53:16.540 I got to play.

00:53:18.180 Columbine.

00:53:18.800 It's kind of like the OG, man.

00:53:20.500 It's like the thing that kicked off the, uh.

00:53:22.900 I feel like the OG was the Holocaust.

00:53:24.240 Oh, I like, I like the run of mass shootings.

00:53:26.000 Don't want to include all the mass shootings in Chicago.

00:53:28.200 You racist fuck.

00:53:29.800 We can just put Chicago just as, as.

00:53:33.260 Generic black people killing each other.

00:53:34.940 All right.

00:53:36.900 Columbine.

00:53:37.340 Where's it being seated?

00:53:38.300 Is it high enough for one or is it going somewhere else?

00:53:40.720 All of the white mass shootings.

00:53:41.940 And then there's the black mass.

00:53:44.660 Oh, we'll get into some different races here.

00:53:47.020 I got that daily.

00:53:48.300 Just, or just drive-bys just in general.

00:53:50.920 It's just.

00:53:52.220 All right.

00:53:53.040 Columbine.

00:53:53.560 Where's it going?

00:53:54.660 Number one.

00:53:55.140 It's a number one scene.

00:53:56.060 Columbine's a one.

00:53:56.820 All right.

00:53:57.240 Yeah.

00:53:57.760 I mean.

00:53:58.740 The best thing about Columbine is it wasn't a fucking fed op.

00:54:02.980 Like it was one that they didn't see coming.

00:54:04.940 And these guys, you know, it was a, it was a grassroots mass shooting.

00:54:10.620 It's kind of beautiful.

00:54:11.580 If you think about it.

00:54:12.720 Well, for the FBI agents that are watching, just know that we are ranking this in terms

00:54:17.200 of like how, how terrible they were.

00:54:19.800 Not in.

00:54:20.480 Right.

00:54:20.740 Yes.

00:54:21.120 All caps, little Dickie.

00:54:22.480 All caps.

00:54:23.120 How terrible.

00:54:23.720 We're going to make a lot of lives.

00:54:25.120 We're going to make a lot of jokes about it.

00:54:26.720 But the truth is, these are all tragic.

00:54:28.540 Okay.

00:54:28.920 You know, all of these are different ones we've done in Minecraft.

00:54:32.400 Legitimately.

00:54:32.900 We've staged all of these mass shootings.

00:54:35.500 You know, that would be dope for our channel.

00:54:38.220 Like dude.

00:54:38.580 Perfect.

00:54:38.920 But we just like, we, we reenact school shootings, but we like make them funny.

00:54:42.380 I'm like dude.

00:54:42.840 Perfect.

00:54:43.340 Okay.

00:54:43.560 What, what, what, what he should have done.

00:54:46.320 He should have pizzaed, but you see, he French fried here.

00:54:52.580 He caught a bullet in the head.

00:54:53.500 Next time you got a pizza, you're going to have a bad time.

00:54:57.900 All right.

00:54:58.340 Oh, we have a pull up French comment.

00:55:01.680 This is great.

00:55:02.360 This is great.

00:55:04.060 So, Hey everyone.

00:55:04.800 I'm new to the channel.

00:55:05.720 I saw a couple of these guys on temple.

00:55:07.880 All right.

00:55:08.620 I know what the channel is about.

00:55:10.080 Can someone enlighten me?

00:55:11.160 Oh my God.

00:55:11.680 This is a channel where we revel in the suffering of others, such as mass shootings.

00:55:16.400 And we take in and we celebrate these beautiful people who perpetrated these acts.

00:55:21.180 So Trent, do you have any daughters?

00:55:22.540 Do you have any, you have a picture of yourself that you would send us?

00:55:25.780 Moms.

00:55:27.080 Moms.

00:55:27.580 Tell us something about yourself.

00:55:28.660 We need something we can go with.

00:55:29.680 Any female relatives that are hot, send them over.

00:55:32.400 My honest description for this show, for any new viewers is that we take whatever you're

00:55:36.660 not supposed to talk about.

00:55:38.120 And then we like clown pill it and we talk about it in the funniest way possible.

00:55:41.680 Even though it's really heartbreaking shit.

00:55:43.640 And then if you are the type of person that can find joy in that, you'll enjoy the show.

00:55:47.680 And if you're not, then you should shut the channel off right now.

00:55:50.540 Trent, what's your favorite mass shooting?

00:55:52.340 Or still.

00:55:52.760 Sound up in the chat.

00:55:54.480 All right.

00:55:54.760 Your favorite one.

00:55:55.400 It could be my line massacre.

00:55:57.300 That's.

00:55:59.340 I hate those Vietnamese.

00:56:00.780 The one that happened at, uh, the one that happened at Tim Pool's house.

00:56:06.760 That was a dope shooting.

00:56:07.680 Nobody died, but it was, uh, it was still a shooting.

00:56:10.340 That can happen.

00:56:11.060 Kind of like Sandy Hook.

00:56:11.980 Yeah.

00:56:12.520 All right.

00:56:12.840 All right.

00:56:13.200 Is the other, is the other number, is the other number one seed going to be Sandy Hook?

00:56:17.200 Or is it going to be Vegas?

00:56:18.180 Cause those, those are both going to be high up here.

00:56:20.780 No, no, no, no, no.

00:56:21.480 It's no, it's the gay.

00:56:22.300 It's the gay nightclub one.

00:56:23.280 It's, um.

00:56:24.320 Pulse.

00:56:25.120 Is that really worthy of a one?

00:56:27.160 Yeah.

00:56:27.560 He went in there.

00:56:28.300 It was a Muslim that went in and shot up a bunch of faggots.

00:56:30.800 Yeah.

00:56:31.000 That's number one.

00:56:31.800 I mean, Sandy Hook.

00:56:32.000 I want to say Sandy Hook.

00:56:33.260 I think it's got to be Sandy Hook.

00:56:34.740 It's so popular.

00:56:35.080 It seems too easy.

00:56:36.660 And like, they're like, for to be a number one, it just.

00:56:39.500 It was pretty easy.

00:56:40.620 They just went in and did nothing.

00:56:42.420 Yeah, exactly.

00:56:43.340 But that's my point.

00:56:44.120 That's the only, what other jokes are we going to milk out of that?

00:56:46.620 How's that a number one?

00:56:47.700 Like, haha, it didn't happen.

00:56:49.140 Well, that, that or like Vegas, because we don't even know what the fuck happened.

00:56:53.240 I think it's, Vegas is number one in terms of casualties and, and intrigue.

00:56:58.640 Is it number one in terms of casualties or is the, uh, the Paris nightclub shooting

00:57:02.540 one?

00:57:02.720 Because that's got to be on here too.

00:57:04.920 I don't care about France.

00:57:06.540 Oh my God.

00:57:07.660 But, but it was, it was, it was.

00:57:09.060 All the better.

00:57:09.720 Yeah.

00:57:10.080 What about the New Zealand?

00:57:11.140 The, uh, the New Zealand guy.

00:57:12.240 Yeah.

00:57:12.400 The Christ church.

00:57:13.760 The Muslim one.

00:57:15.380 Yeah.

00:57:15.800 Yeah.

00:57:15.980 It looked like a goddamn dope video game.

00:57:18.480 That's Bill.

00:57:18.820 He shot up a mosque and live, live streamed it.

00:57:21.360 Yeah.

00:57:21.500 Yeah.

00:57:21.580 Live streamed it.

00:57:22.160 It was like, how are we cool?

00:57:24.040 If you didn't realize when I can't get off, like, that's what I watch.

00:57:29.460 How are we forgetting?

00:57:30.860 Uh, uh, what's his name?

00:57:32.580 Ring, Jason Rink.

00:57:33.860 No, not Jason Rink.

00:57:37.140 He's a, he's a libertarian.

00:57:39.000 I think.

00:57:39.940 No, the guy's son who shot up the gay club.

00:57:42.860 Oh, the one that happened like, uh, in the last year.

00:57:46.400 That, yeah, that was a, that that's going on here somewhere.

00:57:48.700 That was a club queue.

00:57:50.040 I want to say.

00:57:50.620 Meredith, uh, Meredith said that black church in South Carolina.

00:57:53.200 That's true.

00:57:53.760 There was those guys that, uh, what was that?

00:57:55.500 And I don't know.

00:57:55.740 Oh, I don't care about black people.

00:57:57.140 Oh, what about the, um, the Virginia tech shooting?

00:57:59.800 Virginia tech was an Asian shooter, I believe.

00:58:02.360 And, and that like kind of defined like, uh, I like, I like, no one cares about all the

00:58:06.940 Chicago people in the streets getting shut, but if it's black people in church, then

00:58:10.140 they become humans again.

00:58:11.120 Well, all of these black person plus Jesus equals person.

00:58:17.000 All these things we just mentioned are going on here.

00:58:19.460 We're just going to see these things.

00:58:20.660 So what, what's the other one scene?

00:58:21.980 Like, I think it's, it's gotta be Vegas.

00:58:23.800 I think it's Vegas.

00:58:24.600 Vegas.

00:58:25.180 All right.

00:58:27.300 Vegas.

00:58:27.620 Again, one and then Sandy hook is because, so that's, that's actually a good one V one

00:58:31.820 because on one side, Columbine, like I said, grassroots, no fed involvement, Vegas, complete

00:58:37.420 obvious opposite, like 100% just a fed op that they just get like, there's no other

00:58:43.500 way.

00:58:43.840 All right.

00:58:44.240 Sandy, Sandy hook is going in one of the twos.

00:58:46.340 I assume.

00:58:47.120 Yeah.

00:58:47.460 It's good.

00:58:47.860 It's gotta be up there.

00:58:48.540 Yeah.

00:58:49.160 It's gotta be.

00:58:49.980 Yeah.

00:58:50.240 I mean, put up against on that side.

00:58:51.400 Yeah.

00:58:51.480 Against Columbine.

00:58:52.000 Everybody fucking talks about that shit.

00:58:54.520 And then, uh, all right.

00:58:55.900 We should have separated these into fake shootings and real shootings.

00:58:59.840 That would have been.

00:59:00.800 Actually, you know, we could, it's still going because right now it already is.

00:59:04.920 No, I just say mix them in.

00:59:06.220 Fuck it.

00:59:06.840 Like, no, mix them all in.

00:59:07.920 Yeah.

00:59:08.000 No, that can, that can be weighed into your deciding what move.

00:59:10.680 Right.

00:59:10.900 Exactly.

00:59:11.380 That, that is one of the determining characteristics of it, if it happened or not.

00:59:15.180 Now, let me just ask, are the winners is like, is the winner our favorite shooting

00:59:20.840 or is it the one that was like the worst shoot?

00:59:23.040 The way I imagine it is the one that was the best.

00:59:25.480 According to the FBI, it's going to be the worst shooting.

00:59:28.100 The way I imagine it in my head is.

00:59:29.980 When I tell my handlers at the end of this.

00:59:31.740 You're in the head of the shooter.

00:59:33.660 What were their goals?

00:59:34.620 What were they going for?

00:59:36.120 Like, did they attain it?

00:59:37.600 Like, I guess, like, so, you know, it's almost comparing apples and oranges, you know,

00:59:41.720 for different ones, you know?

00:59:43.080 Like, so it's like, I don't know.

00:59:45.440 That's kind of how I see it.

00:59:46.520 Hold on, Trent.

00:59:47.300 Trent, which episode did you come here from?

00:59:49.920 Did you come here?

00:59:51.200 Sorry, sorry to backtrack.

00:59:52.480 Did you come here from me?

00:59:53.040 Oh, he said, y'all crazy?

00:59:54.100 I'm out.

00:59:54.940 He was like, I'm fucking out.

00:59:56.280 Oh, you're a hoe.

00:59:57.340 You're a fucking hoe.

00:59:58.480 Pulse is going to be the other two, right?

01:00:00.720 Pulse is going on there.

01:00:02.060 No, I do want to ask.

01:00:03.300 Is it just shooting?

01:00:03.940 Some people ask, was it just shootings?

01:00:05.700 Or can we incorporate bombings as well?

01:00:10.080 I mean, that's shot him with an explosive, I guess, sort of.

01:00:13.760 I don't know.

01:00:14.740 I think we got to see, like, if we can fill this out, I think.

01:00:17.840 And then if we need other.

01:00:19.200 I don't know.

01:00:19.840 You didn't prep by putting all these together?

01:00:22.220 Because I don't have a fucking.

01:00:23.540 I have a ton of them in my mind, man.

01:00:25.360 Like, we've already mentioned a bunch.

01:00:25.960 We have a whole chat here.

01:00:27.680 Like, what the fuck?

01:00:28.420 We'll rattle them off, Negro.

01:00:29.920 Yeah.

01:00:30.060 All right.

01:00:30.340 So Pulse is the other two.

01:00:32.420 And then we've mentioned Virginia Tech.

01:00:34.160 Oh, DC Sniper.

01:00:34.780 Oh, DC Sniper.

01:00:35.780 That's a good one.

01:00:36.900 The DC Sniper is pretty good, yeah.

01:00:38.940 That was one of my personal favorites.

01:00:40.480 Dude, that could have been a top.

01:00:42.480 That's definitely one of the top seats.

01:00:44.080 That's a.

01:00:44.420 I don't know.

01:00:44.940 Is the DC Sniper, I'm trying to think, because there's that other one of the two brothers

01:00:49.500 that were driving around in the car, and they would just shoot people.

01:00:52.020 They were, like, serial killers.

01:00:53.020 It wasn't necessarily mass shooting, but they did just go around and just.

01:00:56.500 That's just gang shit, dude.

01:00:57.820 Yeah, it wasn't.

01:00:58.520 No, it wasn't.

01:00:58.980 It wasn't a gang shit.

01:01:00.020 They were serial killers.

01:01:01.540 They just.

01:01:01.960 That was in the Harrisburg.

01:01:02.740 They're white, so now it's interesting.

01:01:05.080 Oh, how about the one with the Bernie Sanders supporter that shot all the Republicans?

01:01:11.260 Baseball field.

01:01:11.940 Yeah, professional baseball or whatever.

01:01:15.780 What about Rand Paul getting fucking mugged at his house?

01:01:19.140 That's not a shooting.

01:01:20.140 It's not a shooting.

01:01:21.060 It's not a mass shooting.

01:01:22.740 All right, guys.

01:01:23.780 All right.

01:01:24.500 The other three, I think, is.

01:01:25.940 Oh, Valentine's Day Massacre.

01:01:27.400 That's actually pretty good.

01:01:28.100 That's an oldie, but a goodie.

01:01:29.440 I'm not familiar with that one.

01:01:30.580 I don't even know.

01:01:31.560 That's the one where it was the.

01:01:32.540 It was kind of a.

01:01:33.680 It was a mass shooting.

01:01:34.720 It was a mob.

01:01:35.720 It was a mob hit.

01:01:36.200 Where they lined up, like, 30 people, and then just fucking murder them all.

01:01:39.320 Well, yeah.

01:01:39.940 We could do the Boston Massacre, if that's going to be.

01:01:42.960 I don't know how that was machining.

01:01:44.480 All right.

01:01:45.600 The other three is going to be Christchurch, right?

01:01:48.240 Is that what we're going with?

01:01:49.340 Christchurch was insane.

01:01:51.060 Yeah.

01:01:51.320 What about Parkland?

01:01:53.540 Like, nobody's even mentioned that.

01:01:54.780 Oh.

01:01:55.680 Oh, what about the one that just happened in fucking Texas?

01:01:58.260 Parkland.

01:01:58.680 Parkland.

01:01:59.000 Put Parkland in the fake category.

01:02:00.900 Oh, Uvalde.

01:02:02.180 Uvalde.

01:02:02.620 Yeah, Uvalde.

01:02:03.000 Yeah, Uvalde.

01:02:03.340 Uvalde's going on here, yeah.

01:02:04.880 What about Walmarts in Texas?

01:02:07.300 Ooh, that was a good one.

01:02:08.380 All the Mexicans.

01:02:09.520 I forgot about that one.

01:02:10.480 Also, that one in Buffalo.

01:02:11.840 That dude goes in and just.

01:02:12.940 But I don't know.

01:02:13.760 Both of those were likely fed shit, too.

01:02:16.980 The Walmart in Mexico is almost exclusively Mexican, so we can leave it off.

01:02:21.560 All right.

01:02:21.760 We got Christchurch.

01:02:23.520 Oh, Aurora.

01:02:24.400 Aurora.

01:02:24.920 I forgot about that Aurora.

01:02:25.680 Aurora, yeah.

01:02:26.580 The Batman shooting.

01:02:27.620 Yeah.

01:02:27.860 Yeah.

01:02:28.180 The Dark Knight.

01:02:29.060 Yeah, and Aurora.

01:02:29.640 Yeah, that's going on here.

01:02:31.020 Another personal favorite.

01:02:32.760 Yeah, I know, right?

01:02:34.060 Also, another fed op, too.

01:02:36.120 Yep.

01:02:36.420 These are like almost all fed ops.

01:02:38.080 Even the Columbine one, I've heard people make and see.

01:02:40.440 I don't know.

01:02:40.900 I've not gone down that rabbit hole enough.

01:02:42.300 No, I think that one is very.

01:02:42.880 It feels organic, but I don't know.

01:02:45.240 All right, so Parkland and Aurora, I guess, will be the two fours.

01:02:48.660 This shit just be fed ops.

01:02:49.460 Yo, Matt, bad respect to the guy that logged in to see what we were about, saw this, and

01:02:53.020 was like, yo, this is not for me.

01:02:54.800 Like, good for me.

01:02:56.560 You know what?

01:02:57.720 You're good, Matt.

01:02:58.440 You're a decent human in society.

01:03:00.780 You still have a soul.

01:03:02.220 You still have a heart.

01:03:03.080 Like, respect.

01:03:03.720 I hope you do well, Mike.

01:03:05.000 No, fuck you, Trent, you piece of shit.

01:03:08.640 All right, Parkland.

01:03:09.140 You need to learn to identify your shadow.

01:03:12.500 Parkland and Aurora, and then we can throw, I guess, Uvaldi will be in, like, one of the

01:03:17.280 fives, maybe.

01:03:19.540 What's this San Bernardino shooter?

01:03:21.280 I don't remember.

01:03:22.380 Honestly, that was like Captain.

01:03:23.660 I never knew it was cool.

01:03:24.320 I don't even pay attention to him anymore.

01:03:27.740 That was some dudes being shot on the street.

01:03:28.880 Like, I don't know.

01:03:29.520 I have weird takes on these.

01:03:30.800 I'm sorry.

01:03:32.560 So we got Parkland.

01:03:33.780 We got, yeah, Aurora.

01:03:36.500 Aurora was the Batman one, right?

01:03:38.160 Yeah.

01:03:38.560 Oh, the YouTube headquarters.

01:03:40.520 That was, like, that.

01:03:41.260 I forgot about that one.

01:03:42.660 Yeah.

01:03:43.500 Did anybody die?

01:03:44.420 Did anybody die?

01:03:45.700 I don't think so.

01:03:46.300 That doesn't count.

01:03:47.060 Nah.

01:03:47.520 I wish it did.

01:03:48.420 There has to be multiple deaths, okay?

01:03:50.620 Since we're doing it on YouTube, we should just move the YouTube shooter on to number

01:03:54.200 one.

01:03:54.900 We need Uvaldi and Virginia Tech, I guess.

01:04:00.980 Oh, Texas Clock Tower.

01:04:02.400 That's also very important.

01:04:02.920 Yeah, yeah.

01:04:03.340 That's a tower.

01:04:04.220 Yeah.

01:04:04.400 The Texas Clock Tower sniper.

01:04:05.960 Yeah.

01:04:06.180 That dude just sat up there.

01:04:07.160 How long was he up there?

01:04:08.040 He was up there for a while, wasn't he?

01:04:09.840 Yeah.

01:04:10.080 I don't know.

01:04:10.580 Josie's in there giving suggestions.

01:04:12.580 I know.

01:04:14.420 The Texas Clock Tower one is a tower.

01:04:16.760 So, I think it does have to be on here.

01:04:18.300 What about that one?

01:04:19.300 It's a classic.

01:04:20.320 Mass shooting.

01:04:21.720 Oh, Boogaloo Clyde.

01:04:22.940 You remember that one?

01:04:23.540 The guy that went to the, it was either the FBI or the IRS building and started shooting

01:04:28.280 at him?

01:04:29.300 Dude, that's awesome.

01:04:31.120 You remember what I'm talking about?

01:04:32.500 And he just, oh, it sounds awesome, though.

01:04:34.280 Oh, they've had so many memes about it.

01:04:36.680 They're clearly trying to keep it from us.

01:04:37.880 Americans seem really angry.

01:04:39.780 Like, now that we're, like, compiling it, I'm like, Jesus, these guys are angry.

01:04:43.620 What's going on?

01:04:44.140 We've got Uvaldi as a five.

01:04:45.040 Virginia Tech, I think, is going to be the other five.

01:04:47.020 Is that right?

01:04:47.380 Maybe we do have a gun problem.

01:04:51.100 You changed my mind.

01:04:52.600 I like how we're completely ignoring the Michigan State one that just happened.

01:04:57.020 We're just like, eh, it doesn't look good enough.

01:05:00.320 It might be the, oh.

01:05:02.820 It probably isn't good enough.

01:05:04.400 I just can't bring myself to care about college shootings.

01:05:06.800 Like, who cares?

01:05:07.620 The Virginia Tech one was, like, massive.

01:05:10.420 Like, that happened when I was in college, and it was, like, everybody was freaking out.

01:05:14.560 Like, I don't know.

01:05:15.440 That's exactly how I feel about Chicago.

01:05:17.500 And it was in Asia, dude.

01:05:20.540 Does Kyle Rittenhouse count?

01:05:23.940 Ooh.

01:05:25.060 Ooh.

01:05:25.760 No.

01:05:26.780 He shot three people, right?

01:05:28.100 Yeah, he shot three people.

01:05:29.740 That's shooting in defense, though.

01:05:30.960 That's not a match.

01:05:31.360 It was a shooting.

01:05:32.720 It was the Dallas Federal Building shooting.

01:05:36.980 And I don't know if you remember this guy.

01:05:38.560 I'm going to share my screen.

01:05:40.060 Oh, I do actually remember this.

01:05:41.440 Yeah, this was not that long ago.

01:05:42.500 I'm going to share my screen real quick.

01:05:43.700 You can fucking.

01:05:45.720 Here.

01:05:45.960 Oh, this guy was actually kind of based, I think.

01:05:48.620 This guy.

01:05:49.240 Do you remember?

01:05:49.700 Oh, here.

01:05:50.020 Oh, it's Steve Wilson.

01:05:51.780 I don't know why I went to that one.

01:05:52.860 That's not the one I'm trying to show.

01:05:54.240 What a great picture.

01:05:55.600 That dude looks like the next match shooter.

01:05:58.220 That's Steven Wilson.

01:05:58.800 Never do the mid part with the long bangs.

01:06:00.600 Hold on.

01:06:00.980 Hold on.

01:06:01.380 I got to share.

01:06:02.280 It's the rise.

01:06:03.260 This one right here.

01:06:04.180 Sorry.

01:06:04.380 There you go.

01:06:07.160 That guy.

01:06:07.840 Do you remember this?

01:06:08.840 I do.

01:06:09.340 Yeah.

01:06:09.580 Oh, that rings a bell.

01:06:10.740 What happened?

01:06:11.400 That was fed shit.

01:06:12.540 Yeah.

01:06:12.940 No, he went.

01:06:13.740 No, this guy.

01:06:14.300 Apparently, I don't think it was fed shit.

01:06:15.880 Like, he went out and he started shooting up the federal building and then he ran out.

01:06:19.160 He was like, I mean.

01:06:20.000 Yeah, this sounds like fed shit to me.

01:06:21.820 And then they just murdered him in the street.

01:06:24.400 It was pretty cool.

01:06:24.680 Yo, what about that black dude in LA that, like, whacked some Asians and then went to Big Bear

01:06:29.680 and started taking out cops?

01:06:31.580 What?

01:06:32.320 You know what I'm talking about?

01:06:33.100 The guy who live streamed everything?

01:06:34.900 No, no.

01:06:35.400 But it was, like, big.

01:06:36.480 I think he was an ex-cop, bald black dude.

01:06:40.440 Dorner?

01:06:41.240 Yeah, Dorner.

01:06:42.740 I don't remember the whole story with Dorner.

01:06:45.520 He whacked some Asians first.

01:06:47.660 I thought he killed some, like, other popo because he was, like, upset about some shit.

01:06:51.000 I don't remember the whole story with Dorner.

01:06:52.000 Yeah, I don't remember the whole story.

01:06:53.600 Eddie Grimm has a great mass shooting.

01:06:55.100 The LA bank robbery is an amazing one, but I don't think anybody died in that one.

01:06:59.280 But it is a very, very, really cool story.

01:07:01.880 I don't even know.

01:07:02.900 I feel like if they're shooting, it counts.

01:07:04.080 That's the one where the two guys came in completely fully armored with automatic weapons and, like, robbed a bank.

01:07:10.480 And they get out.

01:07:11.120 And they were in, like, an hour-long shootout with the cops in, like, in LA.

01:07:14.780 No one died.

01:07:15.460 I'd say we'd throw Dorner.

01:07:17.760 Or maybe, like, maybe one guy died.

01:07:19.560 Like, maybe one police.

01:07:20.480 Or, no, the two guys died.

01:07:22.040 The two shooters got shot.

01:07:23.960 You've got to put Dorner on here, even though you guys don't know the story.

01:07:26.000 Because once you read it, you'll want him on here.

01:07:28.140 Hell, yeah.

01:07:28.540 Dude, Dorner and Rittenhouse, because they're both justified shootings.

01:07:31.420 So, you know.

01:07:32.960 Where were those going?

01:07:34.820 I don't like this.

01:07:35.860 I don't think Rittenhouse.

01:07:36.800 I mean.

01:07:37.640 I don't know.

01:07:38.460 Like, Josie says four people.

01:07:40.560 You need to have four people shot for it to be a mass shooting.

01:07:43.180 Okay, so Rittenhouse doesn't count.

01:07:47.500 Yeah.

01:07:48.620 Are we going to really trust women?

01:07:50.280 Guys, we still don't.

01:07:51.620 I think the Paris nightclub has got to be on here.

01:07:54.200 Because it was so massive.

01:07:55.500 Like, it was, like, hundreds of people.

01:07:57.140 Did we put Dorner in there?

01:07:58.180 Did we put Dorner?

01:07:59.520 Let's go Dorner.

01:07:59.940 Yeah, it's a six.

01:08:00.960 This is getting kind of crazy.

01:08:02.640 I don't even care about the numbers, dude.

01:08:04.020 Just throw it in there.

01:08:05.080 Paris nightclub has got to be on here, man.

01:08:07.200 Plus.

01:08:08.260 What about the stabbing count?

01:08:11.340 The stabbing count?

01:08:12.280 Because there was that guy.

01:08:13.820 Not including him.

01:08:15.000 What the fuck?

01:08:16.860 He got to literally stab, like, 30 people.

01:08:19.480 And, like, that.

01:08:19.800 It's not a mess.

01:08:20.600 Does the truck attack?

01:08:22.520 Does 9-11 count?

01:08:23.980 What's wrong?

01:08:24.100 Were they projectile knives?

01:08:27.640 All right.

01:08:28.300 The two sevens have to be the Paris nightclub and the Aaron Brink son.

01:08:32.820 Because he's still not on here.

01:08:33.980 So it's got to be those two.

01:08:35.660 That's shooting.

01:08:36.100 Oh, yeah.

01:08:38.600 Yeah.

01:08:39.320 Which one was that?

01:08:40.300 Which one did the Aaron Brink's son do?

01:08:42.460 The one at the gay club?

01:08:44.300 That's right.

01:08:44.860 Yeah, he shot him at the gay club.

01:08:45.680 That's right.

01:08:46.460 I mean, the best part about that, though, is the dad.

01:08:49.040 I mean, the Pulse ones, I feel like.

01:08:50.620 John Phillips bringing the first Baptist church in Texas.

01:08:52.380 Was that the one where the dude immediately shot the guy, though?

01:08:55.240 Yeah.

01:08:55.420 Like, he came in, he domed him from, like, fucking.

01:08:57.400 Yeah, that was.

01:08:58.940 That's a good story, but no.

01:09:00.220 And the other seven is going to be Paris.

01:09:03.160 Highland Park parade shooter.

01:09:05.060 I don't remember that one.

01:09:06.080 I don't remember that at all.

01:09:07.380 That one was a trip, dude.

01:09:09.340 Whatever.

01:09:10.560 The Reagan shooting.

01:09:11.580 How about JFK?

01:09:13.580 No, Highland Park.

01:09:14.360 A mass shooting.

01:09:15.320 Highland Park is a very interesting one.

01:09:17.260 Because that.

01:09:17.400 Fuck it.

01:09:17.860 Throw it on there.

01:09:18.560 That narrative changed very rapidly.

01:09:20.340 Yeah.

01:09:20.580 We got to keep Dozy happy.

01:09:21.600 Which one was that one?

01:09:21.920 We got to keep the grifting.

01:09:22.340 Explain, Clint.

01:09:24.060 What's that?

01:09:24.840 Paris is got it.

01:09:25.700 I don't remember that one.

01:09:26.840 Highland Park, he was the kid that, like, he had this, like, I don't know if it was,

01:09:30.280 like, a tech or something, but he went on the roof during this parade in Chicago and just

01:09:36.220 started laying fools out.

01:09:37.700 You just want it because it's Chicago.

01:09:39.260 Your parades are gay, so.

01:09:40.500 No, I want it because he's white and the people he targeted is white.

01:09:43.960 All right.

01:09:44.440 Junkie Jeff mentioned the Australia one.

01:09:48.060 Mass shooting that got guns banned in Australia.

01:09:49.720 I want to know specifically what, like, part of the parade procession he hit.

01:09:53.640 Because that really is going to make a difference in my family.

01:09:55.880 Nobody even knows that.

01:09:57.120 Like, if he hits the band, then it doesn't even count.

01:09:59.040 Like, the Shriners, it's like, okay, they had their time.

01:10:02.740 Like, the little kids doing, like, really bad acrobatics.

01:10:05.860 Like, they just got to do cartwheels.

01:10:07.660 Like, someone had to put them to an end.

01:10:11.460 Wait, we only have, like, one elementary school shooting.

01:10:14.520 I feel like there's more than that, right?

01:10:16.200 Or is there?

01:10:16.960 No, we have.

01:10:18.580 Uvaldi and.

01:10:19.320 We have a few.

01:10:20.300 We have Uvaldi and Parkland.

01:10:21.740 And Sandy Hook.

01:10:22.600 And Sandy Hook.

01:10:23.340 But it didn't happen.

01:10:24.280 That's it?

01:10:25.520 Just two?

01:10:26.060 I felt like there was more.

01:10:27.460 Again.

01:10:28.300 That's all.

01:10:29.040 Mine, that's four.

01:10:30.360 Paris has got to be on here, man.

01:10:32.020 That's a quarter of the bracket, brother.

01:10:33.340 How many do you want?

01:10:34.340 Are you, like, bloodthirsty for kid killings?

01:10:37.680 I want more.

01:10:38.640 I want more school shooting.

01:10:41.440 All right.

01:10:42.040 So, Paris is going to somehow wind up as an eight.

01:10:45.680 Cole Post said, what about that match shooting at Twitter last year?

01:10:48.780 And then somebody had mentioned Dylan Roof.

01:10:52.260 Is he going on here?

01:10:53.100 Is he going to be the last one?

01:10:54.220 What did you do?

01:10:54.620 I don't know which one Roof was.

01:10:55.760 I forget.

01:10:56.540 I know the name.

01:10:57.300 I thought he did.

01:11:00.080 Was he the church one?

01:11:01.720 Yeah.

01:11:02.520 I think he was the one that killed all the black people of the church or whatever.

01:11:05.040 Yeah.

01:11:05.540 So, maybe.

01:11:05.960 If you type in Dylan, the first thing that comes up is Dylan Roof.

01:11:11.580 I think he gets extra points for that.

01:11:14.340 Yeah.

01:11:16.120 He's a sleeper.

01:11:17.000 He's a sleeper in this bracket.

01:11:18.620 No, I think we shouldn't even include him in the bracket.

01:11:21.400 Charleston church is what he did.

01:11:23.020 No, we shouldn't even include him in the bracket because he would win too easily.

01:11:26.700 He did the – it was the black church that he did.

01:11:30.060 He did the black church.

01:11:31.660 Okay.

01:11:32.420 Shooter.

01:11:33.200 But, yeah, I straight up just typed in Dylan, and, like, it was immediately Dylan Roof.

01:11:37.960 Is this little Dickie's computer?

01:11:40.500 That might be more of a search algorithm on his part.

01:11:42.700 It makes me concerned.

01:11:43.400 No, it's my computer.

01:11:46.800 There's a thousand mass shootings in Chicago every single night that are worse than what he did at that church,

01:11:51.720 and everyone cares because all of a sudden black people become human in church.

01:11:55.380 I'm telling you, this is racist.

01:11:57.080 This is racism.

01:11:57.680 We're spotting it.

01:11:58.560 It's institutional, and we need to be as woke as possible moving forward.

01:12:01.600 Dude, there's an Amish school shooting.

01:12:03.300 Man, I wish I had, like, good Amish humor because I feel like –

01:12:05.660 All right.

01:12:05.980 Well, this is the bracket right now.

01:12:07.820 I guess, you know, we could potentially, like, do a couple of switcheroos by next week,

01:12:13.660 but this is the tentative bracket here right now.

01:12:16.420 All right.

01:12:16.800 That's the bracket.

01:12:17.840 If anyone in the chat sees one that, like, we cannot miss, go ahead and let us know,

01:12:22.660 but otherwise –

01:12:22.980 I'm going to real quick look up worst mass shootings in U.S. history real quick

01:12:28.040 and just see if we hit – if we missed any.

01:12:29.920 All right.

01:12:30.220 I swear the Paris one had, like, by far the highest body count.

01:12:34.220 Someone said we could get our Patreon to fill it.

01:12:37.160 I feel like we'd need more people.

01:12:39.240 So we're doing pretty good.

01:12:40.940 We got Las Vegas, Pulse, Virginia Tech, Sandy Hook, and then the First Baptist Church in Texas,

01:12:47.080 the Texas Church one.

01:12:47.980 Did we have that one in there?

01:12:50.240 That one's killed.

01:12:51.060 There was 26 fatalities on that one.

01:12:53.100 Whoa.

01:12:54.040 Which one?

01:12:55.840 On Texas First Baptist Church.

01:12:59.040 I don't know.

01:12:59.580 And then –

01:13:00.680 Were they black people?

01:13:01.960 Bro, there's so many in Texas.

01:13:03.440 Holy shit.

01:13:03.900 Oh, we missed Fort Hood.

01:13:05.960 Remember Fort Hood?

01:13:06.720 Where that one lady got a senator or whatever.

01:13:10.120 Did she become a senator?

01:13:11.520 Yeah, that shit was neat.

01:13:14.440 So there was –

01:13:16.720 It's Sutherland Springs, Texas.

01:13:18.860 Texas First Baptist Church.

01:13:20.100 And then Killeen, Texas in 1991.

01:13:23.140 Lubies is what it says.

01:13:24.780 How about this?

01:13:26.220 For submissions to change, if you're a patron, we'll consider switching.

01:13:31.360 Yeah.

01:13:32.140 Sounds fine.

01:13:33.120 Sounds fine to me.

01:13:33.880 Send us money.

01:13:34.540 We'll change the fucking bracket.

01:13:36.200 Came to New Jersey in 1949.

01:13:39.140 I mean, we also could just say on –

01:13:40.620 Tag us on Twitter.

01:13:41.540 But I don't know.

01:13:42.220 I don't know.

01:13:42.500 Can we put Reid in the bracket for his upcoming event?

01:13:48.400 Camden, New Jersey is like a mass shooting every single night.

01:13:51.520 So I don't think that counts.

01:13:53.680 Well, all right.

01:13:54.140 We're missing some big ones that had a lot.

01:13:56.600 The Fort Hood one was a very interesting one because, I mean, that was a former military person, wasn't it?

01:14:05.700 He just came in there like fucking off his ass and –

01:14:08.580 You know what I want?

01:14:09.840 Probably.

01:14:10.580 Josie, I want you to do one of those thirst drop pictures again and then do your whole big threads you do below it, but then just different shootings.

01:14:18.180 That's what I want you to do.

01:14:19.400 And ask for submissions in there.

01:14:20.960 That's the best way to get more.

01:14:22.800 Yeah.

01:14:23.660 All right.

01:14:23.980 I feel like –

01:14:24.580 Josie, you fucked up my mentions for like – so I had – I was pretty lit the other night and then like she like commented on something that I did and it was just like a whole crazy thread for like hours.

01:14:39.500 And I was like, I don't know what to do.

01:14:40.680 Clint was like, just mute it.

01:14:41.700 And I was like, I don't know how to do that.

01:14:43.200 I was just reading it.

01:14:44.480 It was crazy.

01:14:45.260 I don't know how you even go on Twitter like that.

01:14:47.780 Josie, do all this and then talk about how your daughter is so smart, but she'll still get killed in a mass shooting.

01:14:52.340 Oh, my God.

01:14:54.600 I did forget about this one too.

01:14:56.500 The Asian massage parlor ones or whatever, beauty parlor.

01:15:01.820 Was that the football player?

01:15:03.680 I don't know.

01:15:04.000 I didn't realize that – do we have the – the El Paso Walmart one is like top 10 in all-time fatalities.

01:15:12.260 Yeah, but we have to grade on a Texas curve though.

01:15:16.080 That's true.

01:15:16.660 I mean, out of the top 30, I would say at least 10 of these are in Texas.

01:15:22.480 I don't know what it is.

01:15:23.220 There's nothing remotely funny about assassinating chicks that give happy endings.

01:15:27.740 Like that's just sad shit.

01:15:30.200 There's one in Edmund.

01:15:31.620 We have to draw a line somewhere.

01:15:33.060 Edmund, we could – oh, this might be the one because going postal, the USPS shooting.

01:15:38.580 A guy actually did shoot up a USPS and killed 14 people.

01:15:42.240 Yeah, that's true.

01:15:43.120 That used to be like a common thing and then they just stopped.

01:15:45.880 It's weird.

01:15:46.740 Yeah.

01:15:47.100 We could – we remember that debacle, what, a few years ago where they fucking shot up some –

01:15:51.940 I think it was like a UPS truck or something, the cops.

01:15:54.160 I think that might technically count as a mass shooting.

01:15:56.120 I know some people got caught in the crossfire.

01:15:58.120 That one was ridiculous.

01:15:59.080 Oh, Jack Burton –

01:15:59.460 When they blasted through that UPS truck?

01:16:01.020 Yeah.

01:16:01.160 That was dope.

01:16:01.680 Jack Burton brought up the Killeen.

01:16:03.520 He said, Luby's the guy, drove his truck through the front, then jumped out and started shooting.

01:16:08.940 And then the daughter, whose father got shot, spoke out for comment about how gun control sucks.

01:16:13.760 But that – that's pretty great.

01:16:15.560 I mean, just like – dude just like drives his truck into a building and just gets out and just starts just fucking murking people.

01:16:21.380 It's vitally important we take this episode down off YouTube right after we're done.

01:16:26.120 And then put it off everywhere else.

01:16:28.300 Rumble, rumble, rumble.

01:16:29.740 Yes.

01:16:29.980 All of these are bad, and we hate mass shootings.

01:16:34.580 Rumble endorses mass shootings.

01:16:38.300 We don't even have a strike on the YouTube channel, so I think I'll take my chances.

01:16:41.940 Why can't we just put a fucking disclaimer at the beginning of every episode?

01:16:45.360 Everything you hear within this hour and a half is going to be insane and funny, and that's it.

01:16:50.800 None of it's true.

01:16:51.580 That's faggy, dude.

01:16:52.900 That's so faggy.

01:16:53.820 It's a trigger warning.

01:16:54.920 Why can't it just be like text so that I don't have to explain this every fucking time?

01:16:57.960 I'm lying.

01:16:58.860 Just don't.

01:16:59.260 For seven days a week, the rest of my life is all lies.

01:17:03.340 When I come here for like this hour or two, this is the complete truth.

01:17:06.340 So if I'm going to lie to YouTube, fuck me.

01:17:08.780 I am not lying.

01:17:10.100 This is the truth.

01:17:10.920 This is how I feel.

01:17:12.620 Speaking of endorsing mass shootings, we have an ad read today.

01:17:16.200 Let's bring that up.

01:17:17.420 We got the bracket done.

01:17:18.720 Yeah, for now, let's do it.

01:17:20.180 By the way, also, another thing.

01:17:21.860 If you don't like the bracket idea, just tell us, and we just won't do it.

01:17:25.420 I did tell you.

01:17:26.340 No, I'm talking to all the people out there.

01:17:30.500 This was Toad's idea.

01:17:31.740 We'll cancel it.

01:17:32.160 No, I'll be honest.

01:17:33.060 I floated this idea like six months ago.

01:17:35.520 Yeah.

01:17:35.780 And then Toad kept bringing it up.

01:17:37.360 And I may have even said something like, meh.

01:17:39.220 But I was just like, I didn't really care.

01:17:41.280 I'm not against the idea.

01:17:42.260 I mean, maybe we can make it funny.

01:17:43.480 I don't know.

01:17:43.680 We'll see.

01:17:44.780 But he kept pushing it.

01:17:46.480 Once Toad gets something in his mind, shut the fuck up.

01:17:49.340 He keeps going with it.

01:17:52.220 I'm sorry.

01:17:53.020 You were talking to me.

01:17:53.700 I had an idea.

01:17:53.980 Well, I originally suggested ranking hotness of murder victims.

01:17:58.240 And I had also said ranking the hotness of the murderers is way better than murder victims.

01:18:03.100 We could do that.

01:18:04.220 You're good.

01:18:05.400 And I said ranking the hotness of the Larry Nassar victims.

01:18:07.640 Basically, it's just every chick that had an abortion.

01:18:10.060 And then we just ranked those.

01:18:11.720 The Larry Nassar victims, that could be interesting.

01:18:14.180 But look, here's the thing.

01:18:15.080 That would be like one episode.

01:18:16.100 Here's the thing.

01:18:16.820 Is that once we make all the jokes about how we don't care about certain races of people

01:18:21.440 that get taken out in mass shootings, like, you can't do it four weeks in a row.

01:18:24.940 You just can't.

01:18:25.660 So we're going to have to find a different angle.

01:18:28.120 I don't know if I have one.

01:18:28.980 We'll see.

01:18:29.780 Guys, they want to see the Twitter mass shooting on there.

01:18:32.680 Popo wants to see it.

01:18:33.440 But Popo, you're not a member of the Patreon, you cheap bitch.

01:18:35.760 There are other angles.

01:18:36.480 What Twitter mass shooting?

01:18:38.040 That's what I'm trying to figure out.

01:18:38.940 I don't even, I don't remember it at all.

01:18:40.220 It was the one that happened, it happened early this year.

01:18:42.280 You guys don't remember it?

01:18:43.340 No.

01:18:43.880 I feel like it's just, I don't know what you're talking about, though.

01:18:45.760 No, it's crazy.

01:18:46.520 I do not remember that at all.

01:18:46.840 I do not remember it whatsoever.

01:18:47.980 That is completely memory hold for me.

01:18:49.200 Everyone in the chat remembers it.

01:18:50.980 Mass shooting people on Twitter.

01:18:52.560 You guys don't remember what that happened?

01:18:54.220 Everyone got their accounts back?

01:18:55.760 No one remembers?

01:18:56.760 Jesus Christ.

01:18:57.520 All right, forget it.

01:18:58.640 Search it after.

01:18:59.740 It was crazy.

01:19:00.620 Oh, Fox & Sons.

01:19:02.220 Fox & Sons.

01:19:02.820 Is this a box?

01:19:04.060 All right, go ahead.

01:19:04.780 Yeah, this is a new image for them.

01:19:06.020 Yeah, Fox & Sons coffee.

01:19:08.480 Fans of the Tower Gang.

01:19:10.160 Yeah, fans of the Tower Gang.

01:19:11.560 Use code GANG and you get 18% off orders of $25 or more.

01:19:16.640 Shipping free on $37.99 orders or more.

01:19:20.140 FoxAndSons.com.

01:19:21.220 And this is a, it's a family run coffee business out of Michigan.

01:19:25.120 Steve is the guy that runs it.

01:19:26.720 He's a good dude.

01:19:28.580 Good coffee as well.

01:19:30.320 Go do it.

01:19:30.820 Yeah, these are good Christian people.

01:19:32.420 They love, they love mass shootings.

01:19:34.060 You need a little pep in your step if you're about to go commit violent crime.

01:19:38.040 Guys, go buy their coffee or they're going to drop us as a sponsor.

01:19:43.000 Go fucking buy it right now.

01:19:44.620 Sign off of this shit.

01:19:45.480 Go to FoxAndSons.com.

01:19:47.240 Look, I don't want to, I don't want to commit mass shootings, but if you guys don't buy this

01:19:50.980 coffee, I will have to.

01:19:52.280 FoxAndSons.com, promo code GANG.

01:19:55.520 Yeah, Fox & Sons.

01:19:56.420 The N doesn't sound, I mean, that stands for something else.

01:19:59.620 That doesn't mean A-N-D.

01:20:00.920 That's right.

01:20:01.380 That's even better.

01:20:01.960 And so, these are our people.

01:20:03.680 Go buy their coffee.

01:20:04.820 FoxAndSons kidnap winner.

01:20:09.760 Adam Fox was the supposed ringleader, so it checks out.

01:20:13.700 The Twitter mass shooting was Clint's mass shooting a shot at every woman on Twitter from

01:20:17.220 2020 to 2021.

01:20:18.520 I'll keep shooting them.

01:20:23.260 I don't care.

01:20:25.380 They're shooting blanks, so.

01:20:27.120 No, not.

01:20:28.220 Definitely not.

01:20:28.760 Do you guys have anything else?

01:20:29.760 I feel like you're shooting blanks.

01:20:31.480 I feel like you would be.

01:20:32.900 I mean, you've been fucking for like at least 30 years, right?

01:20:36.120 No.

01:20:36.860 I'm not that old.

01:20:37.540 Jesus.

01:20:37.940 25 years.

01:20:39.440 Yeah.

01:20:39.600 When did you lose your virginity, Clint?

01:20:41.880 A five-year difference.

01:20:43.640 That's a big difference.

01:20:45.020 Did you lose your virginity at 16?

01:20:46.660 Like the week that I turned 16, yeah.

01:20:49.080 Nice.

01:20:49.300 Okay.

01:20:49.780 So, 24 years.

01:20:52.440 Yep.

01:20:53.360 Yeah.

01:20:53.660 And you're telling me, so how do you get...

01:20:56.160 So, you've never knocked up a bitch accidentally?

01:20:59.160 Not that I'm aware of.

01:21:00.560 Don't give them your name, you know?

01:21:02.020 I think you're shooting blanks, brother.

01:21:03.620 They're usually unconscious, so they don't know.

01:21:05.640 They just wake up and they're pussy and asshole sore.

01:21:09.300 I think maybe we can make this work, because as we get further down the bracket, we'll get

01:21:15.560 more detailed.

01:21:16.340 We can bring up funny bits and stuff.

01:21:17.820 You just have to have willpower and pull out, and all you fucking savages don't have

01:21:21.020 any willpower.

01:21:22.140 Yeah.

01:21:22.280 I think we can get Charlie Robinson on.

01:21:23.840 I pulled out for years.

01:21:24.240 That's all I did.

01:21:25.160 I mean.

01:21:25.940 Yeah.

01:21:26.280 Yeah, but you were definitely shooting blanks.

01:21:28.420 Yeah.

01:21:28.660 You also had plasma issues.

01:21:29.740 No, no, no, no.

01:21:30.320 Because I...

01:21:31.100 And blood diseases, apparently.

01:21:32.300 Immediately.

01:21:32.820 Because Elizabeth was on birth control, but I was pulling out still.

01:21:38.180 Then at one point, I was just like, fuck it.

01:21:39.520 She's on birth control.

01:21:40.660 Push and pray, brother.

01:21:42.100 And then she went off for like a week, and it was also on antibiotics.

01:21:46.560 And then now I have a son.

01:21:48.160 So, that's basically...

01:21:50.100 Wait.

01:21:50.320 What does antibiotics have anything to do with it?

01:21:52.100 Apparently, antibiotics, they counteract the...

01:21:55.940 Birth control.

01:21:56.900 Hmm.

01:21:57.900 For women.

01:21:58.620 So, like, certain antibiotics do with certain birth controls, and I think that was another

01:22:01.740 reason.

01:22:01.920 So, she was like, all fit, then plus antibiotics, and like, then, of course, got a son.

01:22:07.340 I do what...

01:22:07.760 I wish we could dive in to Top, talking about how much he hates his family.

01:22:13.420 And his kids.

01:22:15.060 Because that's one of the funniest shit.

01:22:16.820 I love that you're just going to bring it up like his mom's not watching right now.

01:22:20.660 Kids are assholes.

01:22:21.820 I feel the pain.

01:22:22.480 She knows.

01:22:23.100 She knows.

01:22:23.480 I haven't seen her in there tonight.

01:22:25.000 I don't know.

01:22:25.580 Where's his mom?

01:22:27.980 Yeah.

01:22:29.100 No, but listen.

01:22:29.920 We're going through a rough patch, man.

01:22:31.220 You're going to...

01:22:31.920 You'll experience it.

01:22:32.860 So, it's...

01:22:33.860 My daughter doesn't listen to a thing I say.

01:22:36.700 My son, he's doing a lot better, but like, when I was like, yo, I can't do this anymore,

01:22:41.280 both of these kids were not sleeping at night.

01:22:44.000 The whole...

01:22:44.940 The entire night.

01:22:45.900 It was like, I would do the show or do whatever I was doing, and then me and my wife would

01:22:50.080 just be up intermittently in different kids' rooms, and then they're up early in the morning

01:22:54.200 throughout the day yelling at us.

01:22:56.100 They're like, everyone's like, hey, Top, could you do a drawing for me?

01:22:59.160 Could you do this?

01:22:59.740 Like, I can't do anything.

01:23:01.060 I can't do a fucking thing in this place.

01:23:02.620 I'm getting yelled at by kids.

01:23:04.140 They're ruining my life.

01:23:05.240 They're ruining my life.

01:23:06.400 It's the craziest shit in the world.

01:23:08.140 You'll see, Cole.

01:23:08.900 I can't wait for you to see this shit.

01:23:09.840 Your wife coddles him a little bit, doesn't she?

01:23:12.140 She does.

01:23:13.360 Yeah, that's the problem.

01:23:14.500 When it comes to sleep...

01:23:15.860 When it comes to the sleeping thing, it really is just like, at some point, you're like,

01:23:19.220 go the fuck to sleep, and I'm not coming back in here.

01:23:21.840 Like, it really is just that simple.

01:23:23.180 We're not going back in there.

01:23:24.500 You can fucking freak out.

01:23:25.480 Eventually, you'll pass on the floor.

01:23:26.820 Dude, I fucking...

01:23:27.820 Every night, I'm just out.

01:23:29.060 Unless Elizabeth finally wakes me up and tells me to go take care of him.

01:23:31.600 I'm just like, nope, he's sleeping, man.

01:23:33.220 He's in his room.

01:23:34.720 He was in his own room after a month, so...

01:23:37.480 Fuck, yeah.

01:23:38.860 This is why I take a portion of it to be legal through, like, the second year of life, because...

01:23:43.060 You never know.

01:23:44.380 Like, you're like, I didn't know what I signed on for.

01:23:47.100 This is ridiculous.

01:23:48.480 Like, hey, hey, I thought I could do it.

01:23:50.240 I can't.

01:23:50.620 Okay?

01:23:50.860 What do you want?

01:23:51.620 But, honestly, instead of killing it, I still think that Rothbard had the right thing with

01:23:55.280 the fucking marketplace for kids.

01:23:58.060 Just, you know, just sell them.

01:23:59.060 Oh, I thought you were going to say, let them starve.

01:24:02.840 You know what he said?

01:24:03.680 That is, like, kind of a point he made that he's like, yeah.

01:24:07.060 Yeah.

01:24:07.240 All right, that's too deep.

01:24:07.740 Wait, wait, wait.

01:24:08.320 He was just like, oh, I can't.

01:24:09.840 Like, instead of...

01:24:10.580 Because you're not necessarily, like, doing anything wrong, but just not giving them food.

01:24:14.860 Just be like...

01:24:15.160 Yeah, it's in ethics of liberty, man.

01:24:17.560 Yeah.

01:24:17.780 I mean, he basically says it's unethical, but so far as, like, property rights-wise, like,

01:24:21.740 whatever.

01:24:21.940 It's frowned upon.

01:24:25.200 It's some of the things that Rothbard gets extremely right.

01:24:28.400 You'll be the talk of the town for, like, a week, maybe.

01:24:32.060 But then after that, it'll go over.

01:24:34.020 What do you do as a parent when, like, you're sick?

01:24:37.920 Like, what happens then?

01:24:39.200 It doesn't fucking matter.

01:24:40.820 Yeah.

01:24:40.960 Right.

01:24:41.660 Yeah, you're fucked.

01:24:41.980 It doesn't matter.

01:24:42.880 You use your child PTO, you know?

01:24:45.780 Don't you know that?

01:24:46.600 Here's what happened to me last year.

01:24:48.680 I got COVID for the first time, and I had it pretty bad.

01:24:52.360 And it was Christmas Day.

01:24:53.920 Should have got the vax, gumass.

01:24:55.160 I should have got vaccinated.

01:24:56.260 Oh, you got COVID the same day I got doxed.

01:24:58.040 Dude, that sucks.

01:24:59.060 Yeah, that was pretty even.

01:25:00.780 It was a bad day for everyone, yeah.

01:25:02.560 I was feeling terrible, but I was like, this is great.

01:25:04.640 Look at Clint.

01:25:06.100 No, so I got COVID.

01:25:09.120 I sent my kids away because I was like, oh, shit, I'm feeling sick.

01:25:11.660 So I sent them away, let them enjoy Christmas.

01:25:13.640 They came back, like, the 26th.

01:25:16.440 Or, like, I don't even remember when they came back.

01:25:18.100 I was still sick as shit.

01:25:19.700 They were sick.

01:25:20.400 So no one wanted them around, and it just didn't matter.

01:25:23.380 They're sick.

01:25:24.100 I'm sick.

01:25:25.000 But I have to take care of them.

01:25:26.180 So basically, like, my life and my health has been on a slow decline ever since having kids.

01:25:32.180 At some point, they start taking care of themselves, though.

01:25:34.760 And I feel like at that point.

01:25:35.700 When?

01:25:36.340 When, Jose?

01:25:38.740 When they're third.

01:25:39.660 You kind of flip on cruise control and fucking just kind of let it go.

01:25:43.260 Because they wake up in the morning, and they're like, I'm hungry.

01:25:45.580 I'm like, go fucking make some cereal or something.

01:25:47.500 I'll go figure it out.

01:25:49.220 I'm tired.

01:25:50.140 Well, Todd, your daughter already, like, kills chickens for something.

01:25:53.500 She's got their slides.

01:25:54.120 She was like, yeah, I'm going to eat the chicken.

01:25:56.080 Yeah.

01:25:57.200 It gets a little bit better, but it also gets worse in different ways.

01:25:59.900 It fucking changes.

01:26:01.380 How does it get worse?

01:26:02.880 You catch them masturbating?

01:26:05.000 Just different behavioral shit.

01:26:07.300 I know.

01:26:07.600 It is definitely easier once they get past, like, I don't know, five-ish.

01:26:11.020 Because they really will be like, they'll get up on their own, make their own food, do all that shit.

01:26:15.020 And you're like, fuck yeah.

01:26:15.960 I don't have to, like, be up at the crack of dawn for their ass and shit.

01:26:19.000 So, and do every goddamn thing for them.

01:26:21.640 So, yeah, that's nice.

01:26:23.720 But then they start.

01:26:24.300 I found out recently I could just set him in, like, a certain, like, little rocker we have.

01:26:29.160 And then just put the bottle, like, on a couple towels and stick it in his mouth.

01:26:32.680 And he just sits there by himself eating.

01:26:34.360 So, I can just fucking, like, leave.

01:26:35.820 Like, I'm done.

01:26:40.460 He's just eating.

01:26:41.420 He's just enjoying life.

01:26:42.540 And I don't have to fucking take care of him.

01:26:44.640 And I'm not pumping, so, like, I'm just living my life, dude, right now.

01:26:49.440 All right, guys.

01:26:50.120 You ready to get out of here?

01:26:50.900 We're fucking running on now.

01:26:52.600 All right.

01:26:53.300 I went an hour and a half without pooping.

01:26:55.260 Everybody clap.

01:26:56.400 Yay.

01:26:56.940 Is that the longest you've gone so far?

01:26:59.180 He's shitting blood now.

01:27:01.560 Yep.

01:27:01.820 All right, guys.

01:27:02.740 I can't wait to see you on SimCast tomorrow.

01:27:04.780 It's going to be great.

01:27:05.580 Hell yeah.

01:27:07.080 Man.

01:27:07.700 I hope I can hold my shit together.

01:27:09.600 No, dude, listen.

01:27:11.160 Because you're so dehydrated, just, like, drink.

01:27:14.640 Do one shot of Jack Daniels or two shots.

01:27:16.740 You'll be absolutely wasted for it.

01:27:18.540 It'll be wasted.

01:27:18.820 It'll be really funny.

01:27:19.500 Yeah.

01:27:20.020 It won't take a lot.

01:27:21.180 It won't take.

01:27:21.560 Honestly, you can probably drink a beer and be, like, pretty buzzed going in.

01:27:25.120 I said this in the chat.

01:27:26.480 Clint is going from, like, 70,000 to 100,000 within, like, the next, I said month.

01:27:32.080 I say two weeks.

01:27:33.320 Because he's going to be so fucking lucid on SimCast.

01:27:37.260 And he's going to be loosey-goosey saying whatever.

01:27:40.120 And it's going to blow up.

01:27:41.600 Just go ahead and do your thing, man.

01:27:42.720 Don't even worry about it.

01:27:43.600 Just fucking whatever.

01:27:44.780 All right.

01:27:45.280 All right.

01:27:45.640 I'm going to let rip.

01:27:46.700 Yeah, definitely do it.

01:27:47.880 None of us are going to be invited on in the future.

01:27:49.400 But that's all good.

01:27:51.320 Don't worry about it.

01:27:52.240 It's just me and Cole.

01:27:53.360 I don't think we were seriously going to get invited on anyway.

01:27:55.360 So, I don't know.

01:27:57.160 No, you might have.

01:27:58.460 You think it's going to happen?

01:27:59.660 I think it's going to happen.

01:28:00.400 Well, not after tomorrow night.

01:28:01.460 But, yeah, it was going to happen.

01:28:02.780 Please express to Tim how upset I was.

01:28:05.980 Thank you.

01:28:06.820 Sure.

01:28:07.100 At him?

01:28:07.680 Ooh.

01:28:09.140 Hey, Tim.

01:28:10.200 Top says go fuck yourself.

01:28:11.660 Top, what do you got to do?

01:28:15.020 What do you got to do is.

01:28:17.260 Oh, yeah.

01:28:17.760 I love that next to that profile picture.

01:28:19.860 That's so great.

01:28:21.140 Paul is just fucking the man, dude.

01:28:22.740 I don't know.

01:28:23.280 Love him.

01:28:23.680 Oh, yeah.

01:28:24.120 I love that guy.

01:28:25.240 All right, guys.

01:28:25.980 You got to do what Jose did, though.

01:28:27.600 And just take control.

01:28:28.940 Get out of here.

01:28:31.060 All right.

01:28:31.540 I'll take control like Jose.

01:28:33.360 That's right.

01:28:33.680 That's right.

01:28:34.220 All right, guys.

01:28:34.960 We are Tower Gang.

01:28:35.980 I'm Top Lobster.

01:28:36.840 That is Clint.

01:28:37.540 That is Toad.

01:28:38.160 That is Jose.

01:28:38.820 That is Cole.

01:28:39.780 We are out of here.

01:28:40.860 Catch you next Wednesday.

01:28:42.500 Peace.

01:28:43.520 Hugs and kisses, bitches.

01:28:44.640 We out.

Tower Gang - February 23, 2023

Ep 111 - Tate's Bleu Balls

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