Ep 113 - Random Nut w⧸ Adam Nutter & Mark RanDoM
Episode Stats
Length
1 hour and 47 minutes
Words per Minute
201.98479
Hate Speech Sentences
215
Summary
Todays episode of the most offensive podcast in the history of all time, we are joined by two special guests, Mark Random and Adam Nutter, to discuss the recent mass shootings in America. We also have a special guest named Top Lobster, who is the third most handsome member of the Tower Gang.
Transcript
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what's up retards i'm trying to start a cult here babies so i can only fit a third of my dick
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into toad's mussy you you want to kill me or you want to give me a boner i don't know
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have you guys ever had the mythical where they put the whole thing in and then do that
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shit where they oh and i uh the three of you had a threesome of some kind i was watching it and
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jerking off the coal bank two chicks why todd sat in the corner and got no chance
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toes on fire you can take any clip from this show
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and then it makes it silly for you guys she was a 10 in real life she's like a dead 8
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was anybody ever poor enough to go get flat what the fuck are you talking about
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lewis you're like a brother to me thank you so much for bringing us on board
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what does that mean it doesn't mean anything donald trump come on tower gang
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that is my tower gang is the most offensive podcast
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that's not what this show is about this shit is retarded
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what is up everybody we have another episode of tower gang we are back that was another long
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ass intro that's the only uh complaint i've heard about is how fucking long it is thank you
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it is a little long yeah i will say that's my first time experiencing though and it makes me like
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laughing just because it has background laughing i guess maybe that simple-minded i'm like oh
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you're fucking monkey brain over here monkey see monkey do uh as always we got jose we got toad
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uh top will be in later i think clint's out for tonight but we have two special guests mark random
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who's gonna be on with us probably all month to discuss uh these uh fucking shootings uh these
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fucking mass shootings just because he has an artistic knowledge mark random and also another
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special guest tonight returning adam nutter yeah gonna be on he's good he's great go follow cult of
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us go follow the porcupine how you doing guys good brother bears dude that felt that felt polished i
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like that that was nice yeah that was good yeah what me doing yeah i can fucking i can do an intro
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it's not clint's not the only fucking one i can just uh i was impressed i was impressed yeah that's
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right i've even done it before man i had a good leg day today and then fucking had a uh pre-workout
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and fucking so i'm i'm fucking amped dude i'm ready to go yeah i'm ready i've been like a neurotic
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mess the past few days so i'm ready to just chill
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jose jose dude i i gotta pick a bone with you about like your okc posting has become the grift of the
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century for you like it's amazing i i legit i'm just like spurging out enjoying this content i
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mean you could call it a grift but i'm just like holy shit people actually care about the
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it took off that's fucking amazing i'm like so proud that that like did what it did
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i fucking love it yeah i aspire for that grift what are you talking about
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it's like dude you guys are all like i'm fucking crazy oh you're just this weird dude obsessed with
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this one angle this thing i'm like fuck you and you were right yeah exactly i mean yeah he's yeah
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he was right i mean the entire thing but i still haven't watched one episode yeah you actually you
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ruined it i had to take my timothy mcveigh posters down oh yeah he's an asshole but that government may
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still be responsible right i mean to be fair it is perfectly acceptable to be obsessed with the
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bombing of a federal building so yeah oh look here perpetrator it is there he is it is the the
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third most handsome uh tower gang member top lobster god damn it was i the fourth i i think that's where
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i was at i think you were you were tied with top i think so you guys were one two easily one two
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this is a crazy list and who's voting bots is it russian bots then in a glamour like i've sent in
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this shot i think i would have got a little bit higher like if it was like you gotta see a preview
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because someone bring up that uh picture that uh reed posted of me that's the one that's that's my
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oh dude you do look sexy i'll give you that you look stupid all right what's the fuck you
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i don't know i i like i like the rugged pictures more which is why i thought reed was the uh the
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winner of that poll oh no dude if you look mine was pretty rugged and glamour at the same time
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because you got the beard and also wearing a fucking flannel shirt so you know what's interesting
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about every time a straight dude's talk about like who we think is a straight like a hot other straight
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guy that means that's a guy we would fuck if we had to like that's all that means
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no one does jose already uh like lines us up at top does it too i think of who he's gonna
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fuck as rape like who's gonna he's gonna rape so i like that now whenever i see reed going like
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this is the one i'm thinking like is that why you're working out so much to fight that off
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yeah guys remember that photo of me in the plaid shirt that where i'm like i have the cat and like
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the satchel yeah like yeah that one is probably like the probably my best like the best i've ever
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looked i'm like no yours is the one where your balls are showing oh yeah yeah that was that was
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the best one yeah well that was because he uh censored his dick and he made it look way bigger
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than it actually is the like large blue streak and i forgot to cover the balls i posted my balls on
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twitter on accident accident do the ladies just love reed's mustache but i don't get it is it just
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just dudes voting it's probably dudes voting so i wouldn't be surprised if it is just men voting
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because i vote but we do have a lot of women viewers so and i think they all do love reed
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because if you take out clint's money like what people are gonna be like okay whatever uh and then
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jose i mean jose jose's losing here but honestly he should be at least two no him and no two not in
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any order just they're one two though for sure top has that latin flair
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yeah yeah top is up there no this is a crazy i am so upset by these lists honestly i gotta fight
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somebody over it i don't know what i gotta do but i gotta fight somebody i just i just want to see
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how i would do if i were on the list because i know i'm not hot in any way but i know i'm like a fringe
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thing like that exists but that's what i'm saying it's like i it's a different cat it's not a list of
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up or down it's like random chicks that are just like that's what i'm saying like crazy
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can you guys hear me yeah all right here's my here's my theory on the on that list there uh
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can you pull it back up again a little dicky just real also i want to say this mark random
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would definitely get women that are into consensual non-consent
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oh yeah i can't i don't know a woman i've been with in like the last eight years that didn't
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request that that's not a fucking joke that's just you know i feel like that goth chicks who
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love disney are super into you that there's a you know there's a spread here that that i've been
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breaking down mathematically all throughout the day in my head here so reed has 40 reed has like a he
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has a larger slightly larger following than me but like a larger bulge as well that is true yes
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to the fuck up tote so that makes up for his 40 which makes sense clint has a much larger following
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but he is kind of old but that's why he's got 25 here now my i say my statistics at 18 are pretty
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accurate jose's at 15.7 he has outdone himself considering his follower account
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i think he has fair enough now if you well and his height his height as well that's kind of uh
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yeah dude god knew i couldn't be average height that's something to overcome the fact that cole
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and i are both not even on this list is egregious jose jose would win he would win he would have won
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this poll if all like factors were equal if all the following was equal just by all height if you took
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away three inches or five inches from uh fucking reed and gave it to jose we would all it would just
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even out there i gotta say reed the mat or up top the math seems to check out so in the last two
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months clink you're relatively twice for fucking fat fred durst i don't want to hear him being on this
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list this this is what started it and all of us have a bone to pick with this and i don't mind first
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i haven't even raised this bitch first off who the fuck is this person is that korean chick who
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ran away or something is she a libertarian i i can't i don't think that just because you're
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anti north korea means you're automatically north no she's not libertarian uh osama bin
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lan's niece on there i know she's not really liberate she kind of leans oh she's hot
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and crazy we really tried to get her on our show by the way
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keep trying don't give up on that dude i would have her on our our first 9 11 show
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and uh i mean you can't do that that's like you have to talk about something she would be into
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like yeah 9 11 yeah 9 11 doing it again i would uh i would fucking uh destroy that like uh obama
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destroys a uh doctors without borders hospital there you go god all right you got there you know
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you know the first rule of comedy is slurred through the punchline
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well it's not political the show is retarded toad wait they're all asian there's three
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i forget that i know that sorry it's the same asian but i forget that there's so many ads in between
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wait a second though so well first of all if people don't know this is austin peterson's
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government that's the dumbest shirt annual uh hot list and we don't even know who any of these
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people are this year like last year at least said read on and and some people that actually
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who is this i have no idea i am on twitter all day long don't know by the way what's funny let's
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go back up one of those even oh wait i recognize her a little bit although she's not an activist
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per se she certainly has expressed her love for liberty in the past okay get me on this list
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is one of those pictures is not her one of those pictures of
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absolutely would you know what i have my own website i'm gonna make my own
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fucking list fuck this shit fuck you awesome peter no i know it's making my own list oh it gets
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way worse it's worse dude it gets worse those first two chicks are definitely like yeah they're
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fuckable i love this who's this chick okay i mean
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gay now we're getting into it now when you don't when you can't even include his actual profile picture
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this is a fucking art like it's not even like cole that's a great point that's like yeah oh it's an
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art where i look and then you look at his body he's with a fag he has like he's got like a c-section
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scar down there what the hell's going on odd body he has by the way that's soy boy they're like
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legitimately soy boy uh even libertarian have to push diversity first asian chick then white then
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gay what's next the black chick what the fuck the strangest thing about that picture there is that dude
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that's next to him that's even scrawnier i don't think they made him even gayer than that yeah
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yeah but yeah he actually he looks like he actually has two twinks that's like two bottoms yeah it's
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weird it's like they just smashed their butts together they just both lay down side to side and
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just wait i i don't even want to know what goes on there but he looks like he actually has more
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muscle tone than brad does the other one's got an eating disorder i kind of feel bad i don't even
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just say his body just why not that guy that guy's fucking hot yeah yeah that guy's better than
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most of this list way better than brad dude brad has like a fucking unibrow and like weird and
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i bet spike multiple times spike is three inches shorter than me and i am a hundred times better
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looking than spike this list getting me madder and madder and madder this is insane not even i'm not
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mad like adam but people don't even know you they know me it doesn't matter i feel like i'm good
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looking and this guy made the list this guy i do want to say mark he is come on look at this picture
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yeah exactly that's what i was gonna say the list yes it has to be diverse you need a jew on here and
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for some reason it's not dave smith it is this pasty motherfucker right here there are by the
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way handsome jews out there dave smith could make the list oh he could uh spike by the way not uh
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playing kiker reich is not attractive no okay now who's this next person i think that's actually just
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another one that's another ad that's that's that's yeah that's all right people are really hot
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now max max borders uh i think he's hot because his name is uh what i was hot for uh like early
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2000s college dudes i was gonna say porn star max looks like he's in a zipple place
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our name for max borders borders or anti-borders i can't tell yeah i'm well he's for max borders right
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so so i'm for it honestly he is he is probably the best looking guy so far he does have bad looking
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the hair is great i mean he has the goatee's pretty nice it's actually like uh kind of like
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uh he's frail it's a white man fu man he's not frail he's frail look at him look at his shoulder
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that's like he's standing at like this like he looks like he writes books i know and i'm looking at
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you standing like that and you look jack he writes like he looks like he writes pro women feminist books
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your list is gay here's why men need to listen to women like that's the voice i hear in my head
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looking at this picture it looks like he writes books about fucking vampires dating werewolves dude
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that's oh you know what you're right everybody in the chat right now i need you to go tag ap the number
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four liberty and tell him that your list is gay go hashtag your list is gay i'm gonna start it up right
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now it's actually is gay because there is a gay well but by the way that's not that's not a good picture at
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all no but i'm not gonna start up somebody else started up austin followed me uh because some
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somebody i think top posted uh in the replies to his post here the top you posted one of my like
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my sheath modeling picks i think you were like toad should be on this list and austin followed me
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because of that so there is that i have no idea who is this it's an indian so it's a fucking street
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shitter pretty upala pridy priety what poppy oh she's not indian she's oh she's arab a i one of
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those ai models she does look like all right i guess but like top ten like three of these have
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been drawings it's just yeah that's what i'm saying these aren't even real people this is like we were
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talking about this in our in our group chat and i said if a lady has a profile picture that is like
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either like an actual professional glamour shot you have to remove at least two uh points off of
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their score like there's no like that's you can't go off oh she's a 10 like yeah but she got professional
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photos taken well look i uh i fuck imaginary women all the time so i i think she's pretty hot all right
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man yeah i'm not i'm just not into this i don't like this whole list affirmative action top 10
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that's great where are those comments coming from i'm trying to get the oh comment oh wow
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it was literally scrolling what the fuck is this about this one is the one that uh
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dave smith about abortion that looks like that's a gassed up myth i mean no no that's that's hot to me
00:16:13.760
because that's attainable yeah but yeah yeah me too you know i i'd smash a gas type man you know
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but the problem is that's like a picture from what looks like 2007 like that but if you scroll down
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there's a worse one yeah it's like a myspace picture yeah okay all right now we just become
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best friends oh you're good you like it more no yeah yeah you like you like the scene don't you oh
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oh i like the scene yeah wait time out who just definitely would my space chick picture at the
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same time as me that was me hell yeah oh my god we're like absolutely we're gonna we're gonna
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fuck later i can't wait no but just how out of all of these this is the one that most people have said
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would to and y'all are fucking weirdos i don't i disagree i don't know i'm into that no no that picture
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i'm into it the best thing about it is she will literally abort the baby so you can nut all up in
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there dude yeah that's right go ham man or throw her down the staircase and she won't tell the cops
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uh ap ap is coming off of this entire list how many men are on this list because if it's five it's
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over it's over we need to find uh one of these days it's have we ever read on this show his like
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tinder profile or his whatever profile like he had some fucking someone found like uh he's married
00:17:28.000
now i know it was forever it's hilarious it was the best profile someone could have made it up it
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could have been a troll it could have been polpo but i just remember it was just this uh this next
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one i don't even i see the name yeah who the fuck is tony oh my god i mean dude i will say
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dad bod 100 silver fox yeah if you're into kind of that thing he does have a square fucking head so
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his face is really the problem here because like his hair is pretty hot and i think probably
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the dad bod is pretty hot all right all right who are these people who the fuck are these people
00:18:03.760
like oh hello there like catch like pictures he's not a libertarian i didn't read that there's
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nothing in there about libertarian he's just a he's a he's a christian he's like a pastor he generally
00:18:14.880
likes the concept of freedom he was once next to somebody who yelled liberty but look if he wants to
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go somewhere more holy i'll take him all right what we're not raiding if we fuck these people so
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what the fuck is going on right now we're not oh no yeah that was why every person it was like crazy
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crude comments and we just keep moving oh no unbelievable look at this feel like flat-faced
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bitch dude what a stupid whore you know who should be on this list the red-headed libertarian from tim
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cast she was on last she was on last year she's in the chat right now yeah hey josey what's up what's
00:18:58.080
up uh simp bitch she plays she plays higher than this than this aardvark looking bitch dude
00:19:03.520
looks like kalina this is hilarious long hair you saw my tweet i i said she looked like uh jar jar
00:19:11.120
binks like because her eyes are just a little like she looks just like better it makes me think of
00:19:15.280
like uh like the oh yeah arthur cartoon aardvarks like oh yeah yeah arvark is such a good comparison
00:19:23.280
yeah she looks like she actually looks like um the the teacher mr uh rattler or wait wait wait
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yo hey just figure it out dude i don't know what we're gonna do but this is trash
00:19:42.000
awesome her eyes are way too close together like if we're just going by symmetry alone we have to go
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by the golden ratio man and this is just no but he's got awesome just saw ass and he was just like
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all right it's not even that great of an ass it's like a generic fit butt look we're awesome we're
00:20:00.720
the ones that have balls because we're uh willing to say that these chicks are not attractive that
00:20:05.520
picture uh not the ass one here but the first picture there she like didn't even have makeup on
00:20:10.160
it's like a particularly bad picture too i specifically want to know austin if you could
00:20:14.560
just reply with a one-word answer why did you pick so many people who are not libertarian like
00:20:18.640
you don't even know who they are i know every i know every single libertarian okay first of all
00:20:23.840
i don't know what the pyramid pile of beans so don't use phrases that i don't understand awesome
00:20:28.000
okay so you've got me there again and then come back and i'll have a maybe response to that
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also maybe speak in a way that i can understand
00:20:38.720
at number 10 this is maybe the best one that's one yes she's the
00:20:42.880
yeah she's all right yes but who is she i don't know who she is aside from the red-headed
00:20:52.320
you know what second picture i hate first picture awesome awesome makes a good point
00:20:57.680
awesome makes a great point here though he says no one is a real libertarian but me so it's
00:21:01.120
basically a watch i'll give you that that's true that's very fair but honestly next year just
00:21:06.880
include uh aoc just to do it and just just see everybody freaking out aoc matt gates
00:21:14.480
aoc yeah absolutely not hot this chick uh i don't know like she's got like this
00:21:18.640
toad hold on there what are you talking about you know what i'm gonna kind of like this i'm gonna
00:21:23.440
i'm gonna back up toad for a second she has a little bit of sloth from ice age face
00:21:28.160
aoc dude aoc has all right she got the ass like the fucking wooly mammoth on there it's fine
00:21:33.200
that's fine she's saying she gives off sid from ice age face aoc yeah not hot at all horse face
00:21:39.760
crazy eyes absolutely apparently she's an up-and-comer i don't know i've never seen her so
00:21:45.360
she doesn't oh oh is she does she does she know listen do any of the people on this list know who
00:21:51.200
top lobster is if they do then they're real libertarians so we know that brad palumbo's gay
00:21:55.120
ass knows who i am and we know that the hardworking girl knows who i am that's two people we got eight
00:22:00.160
spots also can you pull up austin's comment real quick yeah we do this list austin yes how about
00:22:06.160
that yeah i do i do it all the time because i'm kind of gay myself so it's not okay next year next
00:22:11.600
year look up gay toad gay toad is one of the finest men i've ever seen yeah like stupid hot
00:22:18.320
stupid hot like insanely like model hot it's ridiculous here's my suggestion my suggestion for
00:22:24.400
next year next year add more people who are actually libertarian and we need more ads in
00:22:30.240
between because for me for me when i was just scrolling through the people i was just i was
00:22:35.120
getting confused at how little advertisements were there we need pop-ups like slot machines things
00:22:40.320
like that but please choose uglier people for the ads i have the ads are harder than the list
00:22:45.280
could i pay you to put me in like how much would that cost just put me in like number six i don't
00:22:49.600
give a fuck how much did langley send you for fucking the yoga page oh yeah someone said keith
00:22:56.480
knight if you guys thirst trap photos are on next year yeah yeah i had a four thousand dollar thirst
00:23:00.720
trap budget oh yeah keith knight deserves to be he deserves to be on he lost a ton of weight he's
00:23:06.240
looking good oh hell yeah absolutely i want to know what uh they're straight what austin's click
00:23:10.880
through right on those ads it had to be like ridiculous on that he kind of looks like random he
00:23:16.800
looks like mark random a little bit oh a little bit yeah oh yeah i can kind of see that yeah yep
00:23:22.640
anti-capitalist it's like they they came to a different path and split off i could i could
00:23:27.440
actually see that like they're two different like characters but then he built them down different
00:23:31.600
paths that's random he actually uh he uh lost all the weight by doing a ton of math so it's kind of
00:23:39.200
the same thing it counts yeah by the way you had did you ever have joe jorgensen on there because
00:23:45.040
i think joe jorgensen is better looking than spike cohen is especially for the age
00:23:50.080
yeah and for and for what i know she will do to me oh god i know i know what she has downstairs
00:23:56.800
yeah i still hate her for talking through my set that one time so she could go
00:24:01.600
joe jorgensen i i she's probably like six feet tall i don't know man she's for sure not
00:24:07.200
all right guys we doing this fucking mass shooter uh yeah yeah or whatever this is
00:24:12.240
we already did the mail back after because random are you sticking around the whole episode random or
00:24:16.800
here's what it is i wanted to say this off air but it's like i will but if you're like tired of
00:24:21.520
me you could be like oh man i haven't had muffins in a while and that'll be my key to be like oh i
00:24:25.680
gotta go get we should like just all that just randomly just be like fuck off random
00:24:31.360
that's where he leaves every episode that's so mean i like it let's do it
00:24:37.440
i can't be mean to random i like him oh there we go there's keith yeah he also has troll face i'm
00:24:42.480
just gonna put that out there i mean well yeah the lighting i mean the lighting right there
00:24:47.600
like a shitty joker like transformation in that picture he's a great joke uh yeah he looks like cole's
00:24:52.960
son oh good night austin good night austin see you austin come on tower gang sometime yeah joe
00:25:02.800
jordan said i could i could take her down she's one of those women that has that really tough exterior
00:25:07.680
but she wants to just be grabbed by the fucking hair and put on her knees mark you know what she's
00:25:12.880
into yeah i'm like i'm 10 levels deep than her how do you think i afford all my shit with my good
00:25:21.200
comedy career crazy chicks want to get tied up and have vibrators in them well and i guess we
00:25:26.720
should do mailbag because that's uh yeah let's do the mailbag and uh i wouldn't want to miss that but
00:25:31.200
uh and then we'll do the shooters that uh josie s was uh joe the third and the threesome which would
00:25:37.760
be hilarious i know she's not attractive but you know you gotta think of who she is it's a great
00:25:46.160
story let's do it yeah you figured it out yeah it just had to be done that one actually would be
00:25:52.240
fucking hilarious oh god i would nut hard too all right little dicky tell us i did our first
00:26:01.840
question but please don't be loud don't be soft just perfect volume go ahead all right liminal
00:26:07.760
vibration every fucking time my ears are blue look at look at that come from zeus what the
00:26:15.840
it's like a foot away from my mouth don't give him that kind of credit
00:26:27.360
how long do y'all think it will take before the adl declare the gang a terrorist organization
00:26:33.040
they should have already i don't know i don't care it's like i'm kind of like waiting for my n-word
00:26:39.840
tape to drop you know okay like what are the levels to that because i got hit with person of
00:26:46.240
interest in 2018 so how many more do i have to go before i get terrorist organization how many how
00:26:52.080
many more times do i have to say that the uh holocaust didn't happen i mean mine was just a dumb parkland
00:26:58.000
shooting joke and they bumped me off the civilian list to person you also did do a holocaust
00:27:03.200
fucking uh song oh that was after that was after that was a year later i love your my one of my
00:27:08.880
favorite things is when those chicks were heckling you and you're like i hope you all get raped and
00:27:12.560
died see you good night love you all wait was uh by the way on um legionist ganks like i think on
00:27:20.720
the last one with soda uh whenever yeah you told me and that was the first time in four years dave smith
00:27:26.560
brought me up in like a positive light he didn't just go in what was the joke that they were talking
00:27:30.560
about they're talking about some chick who like fucking murdered her spouse then murdered someone
00:27:34.960
else then murdered her lawyer and was doing meth in the courtroom so i could see why someone would
00:27:38.560
associate that with me did you make a joke like did you say something online about that and like
00:27:44.880
no they just they then brought up the like uh because he brought up mark random and he was just
00:27:49.360
talking about the great fucking meltdown things and everything and he you know he's like oh that was a
00:27:54.720
great one but the thing that's fucked up about that is i never wanted that video to get out because
00:27:59.360
obviously i don't look the best in that video but the chick posts on facebook with thousands of
00:28:04.160
followers saying mark random comic assaults a female comic and i'm like whoa bitch like how do you like
00:28:10.400
you know what i mean like what do you what would you imagine if you never saw the video and it says mark
00:28:14.640
random assaults female comic what would you think it was me yelling and getting back forward would you
00:28:19.520
think like physical violence yeah you know yeah so i had the video had to get out there and it just
00:28:25.360
it sucks i would assume it's what what they pay you to do to them but yeah well no that's the thing
00:28:31.120
it's a porno you know you know that woman was probably you know she probably thought about me the night
00:28:38.080
after natalie cuomo and her fucking weird snm fetish things and looking at oh wait that was really natalie
00:28:45.120
cuomo yes and now she's all on stage talking about how she likes to get like tied up and butt plugs and
00:28:50.400
shit and she's just looking at me all these other bitch comics going on trying to impress females and
00:28:54.880
i'm the ones like yeah feminists are fucking sluts they need to get back with their dad and all and
00:28:59.200
she's just getting hotter and hotter and fucking couldn't take it anymore her fucking pussy exploded
00:29:04.000
and she had to lash out at me because she knew she never had a chance with me because i had an eight
00:29:07.680
and a half inch dick and two women with me recording a documentary i can't even follow me i love it
00:29:16.320
hell yeah i don't know what's going on every woman every woman that random rejects go and dates lewis
00:29:25.360
no don't i love lewis j gomez he's a great person and gas engine obviously best offensive thing but there
00:29:31.760
was an argument we had where i'd i please hope this doesn't get me banned but i literally did said
00:29:37.680
dude just said you hate me is it because i fuck chicks that play you why do you hate me like and i
00:29:43.760
look at that that was i look at that years later like oh my god i can't believe i said that to this
00:29:48.320
dude who owns a company and like he was trying to give me spots he was trying to work out and i
00:29:53.280
fucking said that shit to him wait this is how it works random you need to reject us so then lewis will sign
00:29:59.600
us i want to be very clear if anyone wants you guys all right i don't understand the context at
00:30:03.920
all i'm just giggling at whatever the fuck's going on no it was just me and lewis like in the past we
00:30:08.880
had like misunderstanding so one of the arguments that like you know he's like oh you fucking you're
00:30:14.240
ungrateful you're this you're that so i said dude i don't think you like me i think you just put me out
00:30:19.280
there to mock me just say you don't like me is it because i'm like have more confidence than you is
00:30:24.160
it because i fuck chicks that play you and when that came out i was like oh my god like i
00:30:29.120
still think about that like why the fuck did i say that that was insane your mind eludes me it's
00:30:33.760
great i like i like i look like chris kyle right now uh both of your paths to get on like a real
00:30:41.760
ass podcast uh from adam nutter to to random have been so vastly different adam i apologize i never
00:30:51.840
oh my god that's the funniest thing you can say no i'm sorry one guy one guy just went he's he's
00:31:00.240
completely insulted lewis j gomez and fucked his ex-girlfriends or whatever and the other guy has
00:31:04.400
just tried to be as unfunny as possible and somehow they both made it on the podcast
00:31:10.720
what's funny what's funny is that adam adam's like he's been on some of the biggest like comedy podcasts
00:31:17.200
in the world like he's been on kill tony and he did good like which is that was years ago though
00:31:22.720
years ago but like but he's been on uh real ass podcast twice no five times five times yeah how do
00:31:30.960
you get in the comedy circuit i would fucking is there like an illuminati cult that i have to sign up
00:31:36.240
i'm serious because i see like you just have to not fuck chicks that lose his fucking
00:31:39.760
sweet sweet then i'm in you just stop assaulting people specifically comics no but that was five
00:31:48.400
years ago you know i mean people don't forget how'd you do it adam how'd you do it give us give mark
00:31:55.120
i do what i just i i'm a comic in the new york and philly comedy scene i'm a comic in the new york
00:32:01.360
i know like a normal person you just talk to people and you've made contact i i'm like explaining
00:32:06.800
that's the hardest part for random is to talk anything else like you just people like you and
00:32:11.040
they ask you to come on stuff i don't know what the fuck i guess i need to pay someone to like
00:32:15.360
i go on stage do comedy and it's a great set and then someone else talks to all the comics for me
00:32:20.720
and like you know mark because me it just comes off like fucking you know like
00:32:25.200
mark has a lawyer he has like he has like basically like uh um what's the thing with
00:32:31.600
a call when a lawyer goes and talks for you uh exactly yeah i need that or uh somebody to just
00:32:36.000
have somebody an arbitrator yeah he's just like listen i'm i am i represent mark random and i just
00:32:42.800
want to say like he just wants to talk to you and so i'm just gonna just when you see me i'm mark
00:32:48.000
talk to me like a regular person he needs like a translator like in the ux he's like
00:32:51.200
he said it was a good fight and he said you had a pretty great set i want to i want to
00:32:58.560
fucking kill everyone i don't believe i'm looking for a meeting for life and comics suck and they're
00:33:02.960
like you know what he says is he has this different angle but he really yeah you just need a autism
00:33:10.000
translator pretty much i think you and adam should hook up like i don't mean like do a podcast i think
00:33:15.920
you guys know fuck oh yeah i thought you meant down yes dude and adam random podcast actually
00:33:22.240
would be pretty dope i don't i don't know why those energy adam just kind of being like what the
00:33:29.520
fuck sometimes it'd be great i think it'd be a good good good thing you know i do i do have the
00:33:37.120
capability to be like that's why i wanted to be on some other pocket whether it's no way jose or
00:33:41.760
liberty lockdown to like that there is an intellectual part of me that can have calm
00:33:46.240
like back and forth dialogues for hours and i wanted the idea around a few times
00:33:52.080
i promise you i put we could make a bet i'll pay three and four hundred dollars if i don't have
00:33:56.720
that capability but i can have like a three all right why did you why'd you go up
00:34:02.480
because that's how much i believe in myself to be like an intellectual you know what a million it's
00:34:07.120
like all right an intellectual philosophical person i have that capability though i just i
00:34:13.600
want that to be shown you know redhead liberty lockdown random dicky uh brought up the name of
00:34:20.160
the show random nut random is such a great that's that's the title of this episode that is actually a
00:34:28.880
great podcast name oh yeah almost as good as uh inward thoughts yeah so yeah exactly to rock finn
00:34:37.520
probably next year probably no but like i'm sorry to not be bring the funny down but jose what would
00:34:46.560
my angle be like what is the thing that i could talk about just like intellectually and not not make
00:34:52.240
i mean i think you'd probably be capable the biggest thing is like i'd be don't know if i could
00:34:56.720
contain you as a host and like no you know what i'm saying is when it's one-on-one i have like a
00:35:02.960
different vibe like one-on-one i'm just very calm i'm talking like this and yeah i agree with you like
00:35:07.520
that but when there's six people it's like i have to put on a fucking show you know what i mean so
00:35:12.880
no i get you i don't know but i'm saying like all right if i did no way who's it like what would
00:35:16.640
the dialogue be like what kind of uh politics i usually focus on a topic i mean every now and then
00:35:22.320
i'll do interview type stuff but i usually am more like topic oriented that no that's what i'm saying is
00:35:26.320
what would my topic be would it be the only thing i think on the house is combined for you
00:35:32.800
i could do censorship and comedy i've done hours of podcasts about censorship i'll be honest i don't
00:35:38.640
give a fuck about that right i don't know cultural like i don't either my shining my shining intellectual
00:35:45.920
moment probably was on your podcast so they were right i re-watched and i'm like wow i look like like
00:35:50.240
i know what i'm talking about i have no clue deep thoughts no but i first podcast with jose it was
00:35:55.920
also pretty intellectual and really good yeah it was actually really good yeah i can't remember
00:36:00.480
what we talked about to drag it out of people yeah all right what do we got next next mail bag
00:36:05.200
but it's it's i dig it all right keith just says the n-word that's literally it
00:36:14.320
should we tower it around the horn yeah we could do that it doesn't feel right when i'm being
00:36:21.680
demanded it is like i like it to be organic it's gotta be organic yeah yeah i don't like
00:36:26.800
thanks mailbag thank you though hey all right i want to say it inward not because you make me say
00:36:32.000
it okay okay fair enough benzo barbie where are you from
00:36:39.360
she's uh she's she's from uh my bedroom actually oh
00:36:46.880
step on those toes that's all right all right what else we got
00:36:49.920
you got back off random yeah we did that i'm just saying i got whole bottles of clonopin right
00:36:57.360
i got bottles and put them in your drink for you you won't even know about it
00:37:02.080
little dicky we got anything else just name a state
00:37:05.440
phil just says the vegas shooter and the pulse nightclub shooters should have a first round bye
00:37:11.840
all right that again totally forgot i don't know i don't feel like fucking with the brackets
00:37:15.840
no no we're gonna we're gonna decide those tonight so i mean that that does make sense
00:37:20.400
because the vegas shooter was but the problem with the vegas shooter is like who who really was
00:37:24.800
like yeah who really did it we don't i don't believe that was just him i mean it's almost a
00:37:29.520
mean which one out of the multiple shooters you know yeah like which one has the highest
00:37:33.200
count now the pulse guy he he kind of should get a uh by because he does i mean he killed a ton
00:37:40.000
and they're all fags so and and also he is by i think so really what's the i don't know
00:37:45.520
i don't know maybe that was just well let's talk about it maybe that he probably killed some
00:37:49.280
straight women too because maybe that maybe that was just bullshit so we're doing the first round
00:37:53.040
of the right side here so oh shit this is like fucking dude wait till you get to the point of
00:37:59.040
you he's gonna break down uh rams gonna break down every one of these for us and it's beautiful the
00:38:03.760
way he breaks it down yeah let's i don't know if you watched last week's episode but it's it's a
00:38:06.960
sight to behold it's wild oh yeah he helps us out he gives us uh he allows us to make informed
00:38:13.120
decisions here so we'll do the one eight first here get ready for expert detailed analysis of
00:38:18.000
math random random i do want to say this benzo said that uh clones are for pussies i know but
00:38:24.240
there's too much division in the world xanax and klonopins need to unite
00:38:30.320
she also says she's from texas that's all she's saying i i didn't realize that there was
00:38:35.280
she's also calling me baby just saying yeah all right so toad you got it just deliver your jokes
00:38:41.360
without any thinking in your head just smooth delivery play the ukulele and send her a dm
00:38:46.800
you go there's a time limit on this and and random has just set that time limit yeah so i i would say
00:38:51.840
i think benzo has a timeline as well it's like a few years yeah
00:39:00.080
all right guys our bracket vegas vegas versus charleston here so vegas is uh obviously a one
00:39:08.160
seed it's a very strong contender here okay so here's the interesting thing i know like you're
00:39:14.000
expecting okay here's the interesting thing is the vegas shooting if we're taking it at face value is
00:39:20.240
the guy had like 50 rifles set up he had duffel bag after duffel bag of duffel bag of ammunition he had
00:39:27.040
body armor he had smoke grenades he had like like he could have done so much more with it i don't know why
00:39:33.760
he he locked he barricaded the doors he was able to get a different name with so they didn't know
00:39:39.680
which room he was in so the shooting transpired for a lot longer than he could and the scary thing
00:39:44.800
to me about this is he lived a life where he had millions of dollars he had multiple girlfriends he
00:39:50.320
would go to the desert do lsd and coke and drink like he lived a like full like a party lifestyle almost
00:39:56.960
like anthony bourdain he lived this luxurious lifestyle so it's like it fucks with me to be like if your life
00:40:03.120
could be that good where you just have all like he had millions and millions of dollars a company
00:40:07.280
with his brother to just still go on a killing spree with like 40 big assault rifles that he took
00:40:12.720
one by one it's like it makes me sick like oh no what what is the ceiling that would make other
00:40:17.920
people not go on a killing spree if this dude had at least 70 guns and was making millions of dollars
00:40:23.200
are you contemplating the uh the um implications of the real story like if yeah but that's what i'm
00:40:30.320
giving you yeah well you just convinced me it's for sure the fbi so yeah maybe the reason i could
00:40:37.360
i would believe the fbi but the reason i'm swaying into it because it's like maybe if you have
00:40:41.840
everything you want in life and you're living at the top and it's five-star hotels every day you get
00:40:47.200
so bored and you're doing coke and the only thing to up the ante the only life exactly you think it's
00:40:53.760
like a game and you're just like you know what i'm just gonna quit the not even that but it's like if
00:40:58.000
you got everything you wanted every day money was no option you can gamble millions of dollars
00:41:03.200
and it doesn't matter you could do any drug you could have all the sex orgies year after year after
00:41:07.200
year after year it's like maybe you're like fuck it i just want to kill people like looking for
00:41:11.040
some other high so that would be the reason i believe that yeah but but so that's the reason
00:41:16.240
you but what do you actually all right no no no he was the fbi libertarian libertarian said he's fbi
00:41:21.120
i i believe it mark random.com oh i think it's definitely fbi but it is yeah it's a weird
00:41:25.280
philosophical question she said yeah he was the entirety of the fbi fused into one man now
00:41:30.640
random though random have you have you heard about the uh the helicopters
00:41:35.040
when it comes to vegas what's that they fly in the sky they transport people back
00:41:43.600
you'd probably have to look this up because i might be getting some of this wrong but i believe
00:41:47.040
on that night uh a bunch of the people on the ground who survived this um said that they saw
00:41:54.160
helicopters flying above them and they thought that uh the gunfire was coming from multiple different
00:41:58.640
locations and dan gulzarian right or whatever his fucking name is well he did have different windows
00:42:04.000
that's the thing i mean the story i now know it's the fbi redhead libertarian hit me up but yeah he
00:42:09.520
did in the official story they put out had multiple windows so he was like shooting out of one window
00:42:14.160
for a while then going all the way another round to the suite and then shooting out of that window
00:42:18.720
and it was a concert with a lot of lights flashing and loud music so but you know it was an fbi job
00:42:24.640
what i heard when i was uh in reno uh from one of the nevada lp people he knows like an air traffic
00:42:32.720
controller who was i think working that night real six degrees of separation yeah this is not here who knew
00:42:39.120
a cat who knew a bird who didn't told me it's like all right she basically said that there were
00:42:44.480
three or four helicopters that were kind of flying in formation and i think they might have been
00:42:48.400
military and they like disappeared off the uh radar but i was just gonna say that happened and then
00:42:54.000
reappeared this happened i think when was it 2015 or 2016 2016 it was or 2000 it's there was so many
00:43:02.560
video cameras people were recording with their phones so i don't know why like in the conspiratorial
00:43:07.680
edge that there wouldn't be someone with a video shot of the helicopters though and i could be
00:43:12.720
wrong but they're like far away i could kind of go for the jinx video the jinx video how many people
00:43:18.480
were how long is it 80 something yeah what is it it was the most ever tell us break down the charleston
00:43:25.680
thing well vegas did some numbers man yeah that's the thing is vegas was like i think in the hundreds
00:43:31.280
or something oh wasn't there videos you could hear multiple rifles going off at one time oh yeah
00:43:37.760
yeah yeah he was setting off multiple rifles that's also the thing he literally had like 50
00:43:42.960
fucking rifles and duffel bags and how are you shooting three rifles at once
00:43:52.160
they said he had some sort of strings with the door if when the like
00:43:55.680
fbi kicked in the door that strings went off or some kind of he was the macaulay culkin of like
00:44:05.680
cool i was gonna say he traded bugs bunny work before
00:44:10.880
i get to see it because i always think of that uh that scene from home alone too when he was like
00:44:15.600
he has the uh the clown uh like oh yeah yeah he's singing cool jerk yeah like i just see that's
00:44:22.720
that's that's the guy and fucking there he's just like you know get out of here you
00:44:31.040
all right charleston let's go all right now charleston this is an interesting one because
00:44:34.640
this is when they really started kicking the sort of ethnic and racial narrative into high gear
00:44:40.880
in the 80s yes in the 80s and 90s it was mass shootings then 90s to 2000s mass shooting it was like
00:44:46.640
they were all doing it for fame then when they started having cop killings where they did the racial
00:44:51.280
division dylan rup this was one of the first ones that they mainstream said was racially motivated
00:44:56.480
and he had a confederate flag and he had alleged white nationalist and supremacist beliefs now only
00:45:02.160
13 people did die in the church but it was innocent like kids and old ladies and black people and the
00:45:08.720
interesting thing was he wasn't going to shoot up the church are you sure
00:45:13.760
they were church they were church going folk but the ironic thing is they spun this racial narrative
00:45:19.600
which i don't i believe he believed racist things and racist chats and everything but he
00:45:25.280
originally had a different place he was going to shoot up he was going to shoot up some office
00:45:28.640
building then on that day he just went to the church now in the fbi interrogation the interrogation
00:45:35.360
scene was interesting because he sat there it's pretty funny if you want to watch it they say what
00:45:39.600
made you do this and he goes well black people commit this amount of the crime through this amount of
00:45:43.920
population over test like he literally even he literally just laid out he literally just laid
00:45:48.800
out the facts and the agents couldn't say anything they were just like it was actually our these are
00:45:55.120
actually our statistics yeah one of the interesting things i find about it and i love this part of the
00:46:00.800
story that people don't know is he had a black friend who he would play call of duty with and they
00:46:06.160
would have sleepovers and drink together and the black friend was on live tv talking about like you know
00:46:11.040
he's still my friend and everything and he goes how do you feel about him after this master he goes
00:46:15.200
you know his mom wasn't there for him so it was upset he goes but he specifically targeted black
00:46:19.440
because he hated black people and he goes i don't think of him any different that's still my brother
00:46:23.280
and it's like what an a1 from day one for you're on live fucking national news talking about a racist
00:46:29.440
murder and he says it's because of racial reasons killed 13 black people in a church and he's like
00:46:34.880
ah that's still my yeah but he's like but i was one of the good ones to him so that dude essentially
00:46:39.360
was like well he didn't shoot me so but wait but i guess you gotta think about maybe what you guys
00:46:44.880
were doing wrong you seem to like me well ironically he did have he did have a gold's gym shirt in one
00:46:51.120
of the pictures burning an american flag and gold's gym was like oh no like they had to do some kind
00:46:55.760
of press uh recons for that yeah what is that gold gym like no one's gonna look at gold gym and be like
00:47:01.520
are you guys associated with the massacre in south carolina no but that kind of weird
00:47:06.240
shit happens like mike's hard lemonade had to give a cease and desist to to catch a predator
00:47:10.800
like so many pedophiles kept bringing mike's hard lemonade they had to give them a cease and desist
00:47:16.320
of like you cannot i get it it's sweet it's refreshing little kids dig it
00:47:22.800
so gold's gym tried to do some sort of like can you not publish the shirt where he's wearing the
00:47:27.840
fucking gold's gym shirt toad looks like he has a mike's heart in his fridge right now
00:47:32.720
how psyched do you think gold's gym was when they found out for the mike's thing like oh do you want
00:47:35.760
this all day mike's i'd rather deal with this i just love the deep knowledge that's in random it's
00:47:42.160
great by the way mike's hard lemonade kind of fucks i and i will stand by that you know i could go on for
00:47:47.920
hours about like buddhism or spirituality or just like philosophical conundrums or like
00:47:52.800
decartus or play-doh or things like so don't think it's just mass murder knowledge yes i'm sorry
00:48:00.640
all right what is what is this uh edit here how long is this thing it's probably like two minutes maybe
00:48:28.560
i never would have thought that i would like consider myself conservative
00:48:32.560
it was early in the morning when he wrote that that's how you had you know hitler's rise to
00:48:38.640
power to take away people's guns look at these countries look at they had these
00:48:45.760
aggressive governments and what's the first thing they do they take away your fucking gun
00:48:49.120
big iron on his hip holy fuck this goes just got shot in the fucking head
00:49:25.760
You look at all these fucking massively, like, gun-controlled cities, and none of it fucking works.
00:49:46.440
You can see a large amount of wind and debris, apparently that's due to a helicopter, hovering over heaven.
00:49:56.880
A guy in heavy health, what happened for sure, saw a girl fucking get shot in the face right next to her brain, fucking hanging out.
00:50:06.420
Yeah, so there's a lady who pushed her way forward into the concert venue, into the first row, and she told us that we were all going to die tonight.
00:50:13.300
We have to be repetitive about this. It's not enough to simply have a catchy ad on a Monday and then only do it every Monday.
00:50:19.800
We need to do this every day of the week and just really brainwash people into thinking about guns in a vastly different way.
00:50:36.360
Shout out to Jinx, but what the fuck is Jinx talking about in this video?
00:50:38.900
I think he's implying the whole thing was a complete side-up and that Dan Bilzerian was part of it.
00:50:45.980
Because all the stuff behind Dan Bilzerian is very fucking weird.
00:50:53.680
Like, hey, we're just going to make you this big, great gambler guy and make you this whole media figure.
00:50:59.480
There's some videos out there about him that kind of breaks his whole life down.
00:51:05.740
I mean, maybe he's not a fat, but he glows like a motherfucker.
00:51:15.020
People would think he lied about, like, his military service.
00:51:25.300
The funniest thing about that was he'd go, like, give me a gun.
00:51:28.380
And they're like, no, get the fuck away from me.
00:51:37.440
He's like, you don't even have a shirt on right now, bro.
00:51:42.380
So they're saying, like, he was part of the PSYOP and, like, what...
00:51:49.600
Because I could be the comedy club mass shooter if the CIA signed me,
00:51:58.620
I think he was supposed to be part of the play is what they're getting at
00:52:03.020
because they're clearly implying that the helicopters are what we're shooting
00:52:06.020
from in the video, and it almost looks like you can see bullets coming from it.
00:52:11.240
Yeah, but the fact there was helicopters in general, yeah.
00:52:13.060
He was being videotaped as it happens, and you get to hear him be like,
00:52:16.060
oh, my God, there's someone shooting from here or wherever.
00:52:18.880
Like, then now you could be like, oh, yeah, that kind of corroborates the story.
00:52:30.780
That could be easily controlled opposition, have the guy, you know...
00:52:39.300
I mean, obviously, I'm going to go Vegas because...
00:52:44.220
It is, like, for an eight, it's hardcore because, like...
00:52:48.620
But I do love the breaking down race realism after the fact.
00:53:01.220
Like, but it was very calm and collected, and the police really couldn't say anything.
00:53:05.420
And then when he's talking about, like, black on white, right...
00:53:18.420
It made me think of that meme of Dr. Phil when he's on Rogan.
00:53:30.900
You motherfuckers just are used to not laughing at anything I say.
00:53:35.840
You didn't do your little hmm afterwards, so I didn't know.
00:53:41.780
That's because I was so confident that this one was funny.
00:53:46.440
I'm going to go with Vegas just because all of, like, everything behind it, like, it's
00:53:50.960
completely a fed side, but it's so, like, fucking intricate, and then they memory holed
00:53:57.380
Like, I think it's the most, like, the quickest memory hole out of any...
00:54:07.360
It has completely been erased from the public...
00:54:10.480
Oh, like, any time a black person goes on a massacre.
00:54:19.840
All of that shit, like, where they see it, and they get the fucking, whatever, telegram
00:54:26.280
from fucking the FBI, and they're like, hey, shut up about this.
00:54:31.960
The next day, it's all about, you know, how's the weather today?
00:54:34.740
Another good one was to stop Asian hate, and then every video is a black guy knocking
00:54:39.240
All right, well, we can't go with the white guy narrative.
00:54:45.040
I'm going with Vegas for similar reasons, because, well, first of all, it did a ton
00:54:48.460
of numbers, but second of all, there's so much mystery still around.
00:54:52.300
It's kind of like the one shooting where you really have no clue what even happened.
00:54:56.680
Yeah, like, that's the thing, is it's like, either side is crazy.
00:55:00.040
If it's really just that guy, the story of that guy is fucking crazy, and if it's a
00:55:04.420
side-up, they really went all in and tried to push gun control.
00:55:12.400
People say that, though, but it's a myopic view of it.
00:55:20.480
I guess the direct result was a bump stock ban.
00:55:24.060
Yeah, but that's not how these people who are thinking in a very long-term think.
00:55:29.700
Yeah, but the reason to not go with Charleston, though, is because that was kind of the start
00:55:39.620
of the, or not really the start of, but it continued, or maybe started the more modern
00:55:44.580
era of, like, the crackdown on right-wing domestic terrorism, basically.
00:55:50.060
That's why I don't like it, even though he might have had some reasoning, some things
00:55:58.800
The conspiracy theory behind Vegas is that they were trying to take out-
00:56:03.800
Yeah, Vegas was trying, they were trying to take out a Saudi prince that was actually in
00:56:07.680
Vegas at the time, and there were the helicopters-
00:56:12.300
No, well, while that was going on, they were saying that they were targeting him in another
00:56:16.800
hotel, but the helicopters that everyone's talking about were actually, like, these tour
00:56:22.120
rental helicopters that you can take up, and they went out of their area, like, because
00:56:27.580
they'll do tours of the city, and they went out, and then they were gone for, like, the
00:56:33.620
They didn't know where they were, and then they were returned.
00:56:35.840
I do want to make a point to what Jose said, and do you think that, like, all the feds have
00:56:40.920
to read, like, Hoppa to understand low time preference?
00:56:45.260
But this, but, like, inverse it, you know what I mean?
00:56:52.340
Everybody else is high time preference, and so they think about, like, Bump's like bad,
00:56:57.920
Like, I just love to think that they read, like, some dude read Hoppa, and he was like,
00:57:08.260
I do evil at a controlled scale, and don't overexert my evil, and keep us sustaining the
00:57:16.180
By the way, I still think low time preference is the wrong term for thinking ahead.
00:57:21.220
I think it still should be high time preference.
00:57:26.960
Like, I immediately go, okay, low time preference.
00:57:28.500
I don't know why that's, in my head, that's what makes sense, but-
00:57:32.940
It's like, I think everybody thinks that, but just because Hoppa is like, I don't know,
00:57:39.560
Hoppa wasn't the one that came up with that terminology, so-
00:57:46.300
Let me tell you where he derived this theoretical concept from.
00:57:50.200
This is why every time, this is why, this is why whenever, like, someone brings that
00:57:54.480
up, I did it to Hoes the other day, like, someone goes like, yeah, he said this, or someone
00:57:59.860
said this in this book, and I go, yeah, oh, yeah, Hoppa made a great argument, like,
00:58:04.260
fucking Rothbard wrote it, or some shit like that, and they were like, no, no, no, Henry
00:58:08.560
Hazlitt wrote Democracy of the God, it failed, like, just fucking go through, because, like,
00:58:13.900
it'll anger some people, and other people, like, will just take it for space value, and
00:58:19.720
I love doing that, and Toad is my prime target.
00:58:26.800
Let me take a quick detour, because, Cole, you had me fucking crying, so Toad was just
00:58:31.740
on Break the Cycle yesterday, go check that out, and he was saying how he couldn't see
00:58:35.740
Josh or his co-host because of the way, like, the StreamYard is set up with the OBS system
00:58:42.460
and all that, so Toad says, I couldn't read their body language and respond appropriately.
00:58:51.900
Cole said that what I do is I read people's body language and do the exact opposite of
00:59:02.640
And I put this chat in me with it, because he literally goes, he was talking about, he
00:59:06.140
was like, yeah, I have to see people's face, because if I don't, I can't read them.
00:59:10.340
I'm like, yeah, you just, but then you just completely go against everything that everybody
00:59:17.280
It's just like, I will now make an N-word joke here.
00:59:24.740
It's like, I see, I see, you know, Cole's eyes, you know, staring at me while he's having
00:59:40.780
I mean, just to play devil's advocate, I'm going to go Charleston because I'm so convinced
00:59:44.460
Vegas is a fucking fed operation that I don't think it's fair.
00:59:52.040
But I think at least the other guy went on his own and it was like, I got this.
01:00:02.100
That was, I feel like, uh, high school, you know, football.
01:00:07.300
The guy was playing, the guy was playing high level varsity, but like the NFL was like
01:00:13.840
They're like, uh, blitz the, the, the league type of football.
01:00:25.600
Vegas is the new England Patriots of mass shootings.
01:00:32.920
It's random or a real long random to vote on this one.
01:00:39.720
Vegas moves on five, one or whatever it was for Parkland.
01:00:47.060
Now this is the weird thing about Parkland to you, Vlad is they're both elementary school
01:00:53.840
shootings and Parkland easy to note is the first time.
01:00:58.100
And in like mass murder infamy that they started to focus on the victim, David Hogg, who wasn't
01:01:05.940
And then that weird little lesbian black chick, they were able to get, they were able to get
01:01:12.080
speaking gigs and then become these sort of political figures.
01:01:16.040
They're just better at even being victims though.
01:01:22.380
The issue with the Parkland shooting is there, they openly said, uh, they openly said, yeah,
01:01:36.760
It's like, well, you know, you had kind of, this was, what'd you expect?
01:01:40.620
This was the first one that, like I said, that they were able to, because again, nineties
01:01:47.940
published school shootings as the shooter and the manifesto.
01:01:51.920
Then around the 2010s, the news actually had this back pull of like, okay, we can't publish
01:01:57.180
manifestos because it encourages other people to do the shooting.
01:02:03.900
They started pulling back on the shooter, but 2018 is where they got their new bump
01:02:08.040
of making the victims, the sort of story and the narrative.
01:02:20.140
And the, the interesting thing about not interesting, just personal is the Parkland shooting after
01:02:24.940
the kid tweeted, I want to be a professional shooter.
01:02:27.760
And I made a joke on stage doing comedy, say you have to get paid for that.
01:02:31.560
And that's what brought the ATF and FBI to my door for two to three days talking to me
01:02:36.520
because I made that dumb joke and posted it on the internet.
01:02:43.240
They're like, well, what a V like, they're showing me clips of my standup.
01:02:46.420
They're showing me clips of saying like, oh, me at a comedy club.
01:02:49.280
And they're like, what are you implying by this?
01:02:51.600
And I'm like, with all the knowledge at the detective agency, what do you think I'm planning?
01:02:56.040
Like what, what's, you know, like it just, it was aggravating because the dude fucked
01:03:07.560
We need, we need the numbers and the weapon that was used here.
01:03:15.940
I run, unfortunately he, the weird thing about is like he, to me, he seems mentally retarded
01:03:23.140
because when I was watching the interviews of him, he was talking to his brother and he
01:03:26.760
was talking about like being in trouble for getting his guns taken away.
01:03:30.940
And it's like, dude, that's not the thing you should be worried about right now.
01:03:37.040
I mean, everyone saw the video that went meme viral of like him and the psychologist talking
01:03:42.840
They're being like, man, I, I ran a stoplight on the way to the mass shooting.
01:03:47.380
No, but that's really what he was talking about.
01:03:51.440
He was talking to his brother about like, I don't know what to do.
01:03:54.100
I'm going to have this sort of gun charge that I don't like, am I going to have my gun?
01:03:58.160
They had a traffic cams at that stoplight because I totally ran that red light.
01:04:04.500
And then he gave this weird, he gave this weird speech to three, two or maybe four months
01:04:12.240
But like at his court hearing when they're the death penalty to life, he's saying weed
01:04:19.680
And this is the message out to the world, which is just fucking weird.
01:04:31.060
Fifty five people in this chat and only seven likes.
01:04:42.900
By the way, Parkland 17 were killed at Parkland and it was an automatic Smith and Wesson
01:04:51.520
The Uvold guys had some like nice fucking rifles, too, didn't they?
01:05:06.100
If this was another children execution, this was seven to nine year olds execution.
01:05:15.060
But this was 2022 and it didn't make the sort of waves that I feel like culturally they
01:05:22.020
Obviously, no one cared about the shooter because it's we're in the 2020s, but no victims
01:05:27.580
It was almost like one of those pray for Paris.
01:05:29.420
They just had the flag up for a few weeks and then it went away.
01:05:32.260
But like to me, this this one's weird that it just went away very fast.
01:05:38.400
No one tried to they talked about gun control for like a month and then it was gone.
01:05:49.560
And they still bring up five years later for gun control and all these other ones.
01:05:55.580
And this one, it was more tragic than Sandy Hook.
01:05:58.640
And this one was smaller kids and higher body count.
01:06:13.040
Someone did they said that they did have an EOTech on David Daniel Defense rifles, which
01:06:21.680
Is this the one we're talking about with the with the they held the parents back?
01:06:33.620
You're like, oh, you're like, you're just like, I would fucking kill you.
01:06:38.940
They would go in there and they would just sit outside the door.
01:06:41.080
Like there would be that one of the dude on his phone.
01:06:45.820
Everyone made the joke that he was looking at his phone and he had that Punisher logo
01:06:50.880
That was the dude whose wife didn't fucking do anything.
01:06:56.040
I remember the video of him being like, you know, my wife shot.
01:07:03.580
By the way, Parkland, by the way, if you don't remember the main like cop that was kind of
01:07:08.060
involved in the Parkland one, like his name was Scott Peterson.
01:07:11.080
He just sat in his car and didn't do anything in the Parkland one.
01:07:14.440
Speaking of, we're talking about these funny things, not to bring it back to the left side,
01:07:18.400
but the Aurora, Colorado shooting, the movie theater shooting that we talked about last
01:07:23.980
There was a news report of a guy who he was there with, like, I think his six year old
01:07:31.120
And then he was interviewing the news of like, you know, I just had to save my kids' lives
01:07:39.180
You left your six year old daughter in a movie theater massacre.
01:07:52.060
I, when I say, so I left and then they were just two.
01:07:55.240
You guys can find it of this guy, like, trying to garner sympathy for talking about why he
01:08:00.080
was right to leave his wife and kid in a movie theater shooting.
01:08:09.280
Uvalde is probably just one of the worst just because of, like, I mean, everything that
01:08:13.240
was the cop part, like the all keeping the parents back.
01:08:17.560
And isn't this where they started trying to push red flag laws with Joe Biden?
01:08:21.280
Wasn't this where the term red flag started becoming mainstream?
01:08:27.180
But I wanted to ask you, random, because there was a piece to the Uvalde one where they
01:08:32.300
And they had Matthew McConaughey speak at the White House.
01:08:40.720
And then there was a bunch of stuff that went on.
01:08:46.140
Then they, then this almost, is this one kind of memory hold just because of the cop?
01:08:52.960
Yes, that's what I'm saying is it's like, for whatever reason, the Parkland shooting, that
01:08:59.360
And David Hogg, you know, has his career based on being not a victim really there.
01:09:03.960
But this one, it just, it kind of, it had more body count.
01:09:27.520
Oh, because didn't he, like, it was tweets of him, like, saying the N-word or something
01:09:34.780
It was a group chat that he had that got released.
01:09:43.640
And then they released, like, this group chat of him saying the N-word, which is really funny.
01:09:47.480
This is, I love, we're going to keep making jokes, but it does make me sick that it's
01:09:52.180
like, there's kids that get massacred in the 20, like, 20 body count, maybe by our own
01:09:58.620
And it's like, just this political gain of no one gives a fuck.
01:10:02.700
It's like, like I said, in the 90s, it was adults getting killed.
01:10:07.860
And it's like, it just keeps getting desensitized and desensitized and not giving a fuck and
01:10:12.820
not, like, it's like, no one wants to actually find a solution to this.
01:10:16.820
So it just fucks, you know, it hurts me in my heart.
01:10:20.260
If I had to vote for one of these two parts, I'm going to vote for Uvalde to move on.
01:10:25.560
One, because I think there is a lot of stuff to talk about with the cops not going in.
01:10:30.400
The shooter's whole thing, that's, we haven't gotten into it as much, but the whole thing
01:10:34.220
with the rifles being so expensive, it's like, there's no way this kid bought them.
01:10:40.760
There was also, they also, the feds did the whole thing of like, he was on our radar.
01:10:46.320
There was something about like him being in Discord chats with, like, was it this one
01:10:51.940
This was a weird kid too, where they're like, supposedly there were periods of time where
01:10:55.460
like the cops had clear shots and just kind of let them go.
01:11:04.020
Redhead Libertarian, I'm not actually flirting with you this time.
01:11:07.120
Please, if there's some way you can help me become a successful comic, because it seems
01:11:10.740
like these fed agents are just picking off weird loner kids to commit these massacres.
01:11:15.220
And holy God, I do not want to end up as a patsy.
01:11:20.040
Jesus fucking Christ, I don't want that to happen.
01:11:24.740
No, but they'll fucking, they'll just pop up in my apartment.
01:11:28.020
It says, the consequences, my actions are coming, I want out of them.
01:11:30.960
No, they'll just grab me and fucking, they'll do the thing, the cops won't do anything, and
01:11:38.100
And it's like, I could, that's the thing, that's what's fucked up.
01:11:40.320
I could, if I didn't commit a massacre, and the feds did, I could never convince the world
01:11:49.540
Paul has a great conspiracy I never heard of, that Uvalde was not any fed thing.
01:11:56.220
And I, that's, like, I never thought about this.
01:12:11.620
Like, this is not a very, like, hard thing that, like, uh, but could they pay Americans
01:12:17.920
Yeah, they, they pay off police all the time, dude.
01:12:19.920
No, they pay police, but I guess I meant, like, feds or CIA.
01:12:22.980
Um, a bunch of the, do the cartels have that power?
01:12:25.300
A bunch of the elementary school students were actually drug meals.
01:12:34.520
Can we fucking pick, we still got two more, guys.
01:12:36.540
Yes, I'm picking Uvalde, I'm picking Uvalde, sorry.
01:12:49.000
I was going to go Parkland again, because the guy, I just, again, took it out on his
01:12:59.320
He was, he was a, uh, pull yourself up by your bootstraps kind of guy.
01:13:14.460
Yeah, that's actually, you brought up a good point there.
01:13:16.300
I'm like, I could, I can work a lot more funny into that angle.
01:13:23.240
I've literally asked the last six podcasts a bit.
01:13:36.000
Yeah, Christchurch is insane because of the video.
01:13:49.160
He was basically a cop going into a black neighborhood.
01:13:52.420
Just turned the body cam on and just, like, mowed people down.
01:13:54.820
Now, so if I remember correctly, this was in New Zealand, and it was a white guy shooting
01:14:02.700
And then Fort Hood was the one where they, it was a former Marine.
01:14:13.800
And he came in, and he just fucking, like, bowed down.
01:14:16.200
He came in, and he's like, you guys don't have guns.
01:14:21.900
But I think the Fort Hood shooter, I'm pretty sure, was, like, a disciple of Anwar al-Awlaki.
01:14:28.500
It is wild, though, that, like, military bases are gun-free zones.
01:14:32.440
You're like, you don't see how this is a bad idea.
01:14:34.640
You've made a target of yourself and said, hey, just kidding.
01:14:56.720
I mean, I'll probably, when it pops up, I'll remember.
01:14:58.900
But to me, the Christchurch shooting was interesting because there was multiple angles.
01:15:03.680
One, he, it was, wasn't in a cynic, it's Christchurch, but it was Jewish people, I thought.
01:15:12.480
But in his video, allegedly, he was saying anti, or not anti, counter-Semitic things, but I couldn't find those exact videos.
01:15:20.820
They said, they said he was, one thing reported that he did it in this sick troll way, like he was doing the shooter video and he was making jokes about it, which I heard that part.
01:15:30.700
But then they were saying he was talking about Jews and Muslims, but I couldn't find that part.
01:15:35.500
So I, I don't know if that part exists or they, the news just said that because they wanted to push more.
01:15:40.680
Again, like I said, after the 2010s, everything's based on ethnicity and race and religion.
01:15:46.440
Like, that's the shootings they're trying to push.
01:15:49.420
So, I, I remember the Fort Hood, but I'm sorry.
01:15:56.040
The Fort Hood shooting was when the guy was on trial.
01:15:58.340
He wouldn't shave his beard and like, shave your beard.
01:16:02.460
The whole thing I got from Mark Spiel there was a counter, uh, God, what the fuck was it?
01:16:09.960
Like, yeah, that's, and next time someone's like, you're anti-Semitic, I'm like, no, I'm counter-Semitic.
01:16:17.320
I always say counter-Semitic because Jews are inherently a group of people that believe they're superior and hate other, the non-Jews, Gentiles.
01:16:30.560
And it's just like, do you know in Poland, it's-
01:16:34.080
Poland is, I wonder why I don't get accepted in New York City comedy.
01:16:41.860
All right, so the deal with the Fort Hood one, as far as I know, so this is a military base in Texas.
01:16:46.920
This was in 2009, and it was a Muslim dude who I think was, maybe he was a former soldier there or something.
01:16:57.380
He shot up the base, and he killed, I think, somewhere in the teens, I think, including a pregnant woman.
01:17:12.920
I'm pretty sure the FBI found, like, communications between him and Anwar al-Awlaki, or they just made it up to propagate-
01:17:21.560
Well, Scooter Rebellion brought it, he said Fort Hood shooter was motivated by American bases in Saudi, wasn't he? So that would kind of-
01:17:26.560
Well, I think it was blowback, for sure, for U.S. military involvement in the Middle East, I would have to guess.
01:17:32.340
And he shot that senator who was, like, who went half-retarded, because he shot her in their head.
01:17:42.440
Listen, guys, in today's day and age of content creation, like, we're really even having a discussion about this shit.
01:17:48.180
Christchurch gave us the greatest content creation ever.
01:17:54.200
I assume he shot black or brown people, which is super cool.
01:18:01.820
That one kind of fucked me up, although there was a fucked-up part in the back of my head that was like,
01:18:12.420
I guess when you're in your 20s, you can watch that, and it's cool.
01:18:15.460
But in your 30s, like, when you know people, like, family and shit, you can hurt.
01:18:22.940
Like, when you separate artists from their work, you got to, like, you know.
01:18:36.900
He's leaned up against the wall, plugged in, just, like, waiting like this.
01:18:42.740
He does, like, he practices his quick change reloads on his gun and his camera, too.
01:18:54.060
It's like killing, die, die, or mark, random.com, comedy documentary album.
01:18:59.620
This is actually, this is kind of tough, I think, because, like, you're right.
01:19:09.020
I think Christchurch probably was, like, a religious motive, which I already said.
01:19:13.820
I got some things in the comments saying it was Israel motivated.
01:19:18.720
I don't want to be disrespectful here, but let's run through these next two.
01:19:36.380
I'm going to fly to Boston and kick the shit out of you.
01:19:47.900
No, because Fort Hood, the motive, like, makes.
01:19:56.000
He clearly has trust in whatever he's going to do right now.
01:20:00.000
He's cursing out Little Dickie, but I'm the one giving the instructions.
01:20:05.220
Listen, the motive for Fort Hood, I'm pretty sure, was blowback.
01:20:08.820
Like, the motive was anti-U.S. military, so that's more based.
01:20:16.820
It was at Fort Hood, so it was literally based.
01:20:21.920
Okay, I have to say, though, there is something a little ironic in church shootings about a
01:20:26.680
group of people praying, I can't wait to get to heaven, and then, you know.
01:20:32.380
Maybe God heard their prayers and sent the gunman.
01:20:41.660
For the promise, they're Muslims, so they actually go to hell, and they're just like, where's the
01:20:46.100
Well, there's actually a story of, you know, Muslims, if they touch pigs, they can't go
01:20:51.880
There was actually a story of some, I guess, whatever war between, and the Muslims were
01:20:56.720
tied to a firing range, and before they did it, they dipped all their bullets in pig blood
01:21:01.740
and shot like 12 of them, and then took the 12th of them and said, now tell the other
01:21:07.140
Yeah, they, uh, I have the same rule with fat girls.
01:21:10.580
I was going to say, that's why they don't fuck fat ones.
01:21:13.480
I, I'm pretty sure, I'm pretty sure it was, uh, Lawrence of the Arabia was the one they
01:21:17.740
said that was doing that, and he would do it, he told his, uh, the, during like the first
01:21:23.480
All right, so my, this is my thing, because I didn't make my vote yet, is it's like, I
01:21:27.960
want to vote for the white guy doing the white supremacist shit against Jews and Muslims,
01:21:32.240
but a military base versus a church is pretty fucking, like, if they're like, I don't want
01:21:39.460
to say, I want to say, but no, I'm just saying completely.
01:21:44.020
I mean, like, it's just a military base is fucking, that's the one.
01:21:48.320
Well, yeah, but if Christchurch was actually, uh, backed by Israel, then it should not move
01:21:59.140
If Pulse doesn't move on here, I'm quitting the show.
01:22:05.160
Dickie, Dickie, bring up the picture of the Highland Park shooter, because it's, it's a recent
01:22:12.100
It's that's why, that's why it's on here, because we needed, you know, the stereotypical.
01:22:26.540
And then I'm going to still vote for the other thing.
01:22:28.300
It was like a Chicago shooting that happens every day.
01:22:31.520
Oh, this fucking weird, that was like, what the fuck?
01:22:46.820
I have been dangerously flirting with getting a face tattoo.
01:22:51.580
I don't have any other tattoos, but I just want one right here.
01:22:56.300
Yeah, like some fucking, like, Illuminati triangle or some shit on my face.
01:23:03.480
This was, like, I'm pretty sure this was a gang-related shooting, if I remember correctly.
01:23:08.280
No, this was, he said, he did say something about Antifa.
01:23:11.400
Or was this the one that, it was a Chicago shooting and where he was, like, trans or something?
01:23:17.120
The one where the person, it was, like, it was a 4th of July parade that he shot up.
01:23:22.240
There were some weird fed implications in this, I remember.
01:23:28.520
But, like, which one of these shootings isn't, you know?
01:23:35.100
But it was, like, is he weird being controlled by the feds?
01:23:42.560
I believe the fucking Charles Manson was actually that.
01:23:46.360
Like, I mean, I guess you can argue against it.
01:23:49.500
But I feel like once you know the evidence, it's kind of unusual.
01:23:51.700
I can still place him on women's clothing during the shooting.
01:23:56.720
I said he was the trans one who did his fucking liberal shit.
01:24:02.880
That has changed my mind because Pulse is the other one.
01:24:10.040
I feel like this one was just the feds getting wacky.
01:24:18.060
They go, okay, let's do, like, rainbow-colored shooting day.
01:24:22.760
School shooting, school shooting, school shooting.
01:24:24.900
He's trans, and it's because he's gay or something like that.
01:24:27.420
No, the feds play, like, Cards Against Humanity, but it's, like, Fed edition, so they just
01:24:42.700
I want to break down the Pulse club because here's-
01:24:46.600
What happens is, the news tells you a Muslim guy who, and they won't say Muslim or Islamic
01:24:52.480
terrorism, pledges his allegiance to ISIS, shoots and murders 50 people, and wounds 50
01:25:06.440
His father used to beat him, saying, you better not be gay his whole life as a child, and
01:25:15.400
He went and got gay prostitutes, and then he hated himself for being gay.
01:25:19.460
He would write these suicide notes about, I fucking hate being gay, I'm not gay.
01:25:25.020
Then, he fell in love with a dude, finally kind of accepted that he was gay, and then
01:25:28.860
this gay dude goes to this nightclub and starts having sex with another guy in the bathroom.
01:25:33.180
So, then that next night, he sees his ex-boyfriend at the club, and he just kills all these fucking
01:25:37.820
gay people because he's gay, and he hates gay people, and he hates himself, and it's
01:25:52.460
He was really gay, and hated gays, and his boyfriend was at the fucking club.
01:25:57.600
Oh, and I think he got, like, HIV from the guy, or, like, he fell in-
01:26:02.920
Jack was this fucking close to doing something like this.
01:26:07.080
Wasn't it true, though, that he was just looking for, like, basically any club to shoot up that
01:26:11.640
No, it was specifically because his boyfriend, or the guy he was having sex with, was going
01:26:17.420
Early on, yeah, that was true, you mentioned that he was planning on shooting up the Disney
01:26:25.560
Yeah, he went Pulse, because Pulse had less security.
01:26:28.920
I thought it had nothing to do with the fact that-
01:26:30.420
No, they read the text messages, and ex-boyfriends did interviews of it.
01:26:36.220
To me, the idea of hating what you are, and then taking it out on other people, that's
01:26:42.180
like if I went to, like, a mass shooting convention, and killed a bunch of weird tattooed
01:26:49.980
That joke is funny, but it was kind of also concerning.
01:26:57.300
Yeah, I'm just not sure that that is actually the correct narrative here, but-
01:27:09.040
I still love it, and I guess I want to believe the story, because it's like then he either did
01:27:13.000
it for ISIS, and hated white people, but I like to believe-
01:27:18.060
Clint, this fucking skinhead coming in at the end.
01:27:19.920
Look, I think he just did it because he was crazy, but the fact that he shot up-
01:27:29.240
I just wanted to say real quick, Paul shooting Josie's absolutely right.
01:27:32.920
The dude was- it was not about some homophobic shit.
01:27:35.180
He was trying to hit Disney World, and then he realized that the security was wild, because, like,
01:27:38.760
you know, private businesses keep tight security, and they got to-
01:27:44.200
And gay nightclubs have very loose security, you know what I mean?
01:27:51.280
But here's the thing about Highland Park, and the reason I hopped on is because I was
01:27:54.880
so disappointed none of you guys remember this.
01:27:56.680
This kid had a YouTube channel with, like, a dozen different emo rap videos where he was,
01:28:03.140
like, drawing pictures of him shooting up kids and shit.
01:28:17.880
I want to pick him just for that, because I wouldn't have to, like, go to deep analysis
01:28:23.100
His entire YouTube channel was scrubbed, and, like, as they were figuring out who was
01:28:28.140
the shooter, all of the evidence about, like, what he- because they were like, oh, we
01:28:32.880
And the kid has, like, a dozen videos where he's like, I'm going to kill everyone I know
01:28:44.980
To his credit, if you watch the animation, the song wasn't that good, but the animation
01:28:53.500
He was like- he actually, like, was putting together, like, these really dope emo rap videos.
01:28:58.520
Well, this is why we can't have him on the list.
01:29:02.160
We can't have him on the list, because if there's ever going to be a shooting where there's
01:29:06.880
going to be the guy's music goes viral or their comedy albums go viral, we can't have
01:29:21.080
You've almost convinced me, but I still think the Pulse nightclub shooting is way better.
01:29:25.360
Yeah, I go Pulse, because I still- even though red-headed guitarists-
01:29:28.820
And I like it, and even though it's not true, I'm still going with, like, that's my head
01:29:35.280
No, but that's- but what I'm saying is they did have text exchange, so there was some sort
01:29:39.620
of rumor to him, like, and his dad always found him doing- not always, but he was doing
01:29:44.740
Random, I'm telling you, dog, you are buying into the corporate narrative on this.
01:29:48.700
The reason they made that narrative, that he was some, like, homophobic gay dude, was
01:29:59.040
But no, because if they were doing that, they would have had a white guy shoot a bunch of
01:30:02.680
This was a Muslim guy, so liberals had a weird-
01:30:05.080
No, they tried to hide the fact that he was a Muslim, though.
01:30:09.080
Everyone had their fucking Florida pride flags.
01:30:13.420
The attack on homosexuality, and it's like, well, it's also the same Muslim fucking people
01:30:24.940
Honestly, I still go Pulse, because it's, like, it's way, way more awful, but-
01:30:30.000
I'm just saying, I'm just saying, like, the dude was also on the FBI radar.
01:30:39.640
I was saying Pulse, but now, yeah, I'm kind of leaning toward Highland Park.
01:30:55.000
The face tattoos, I mean, he was going hard in the paint.
01:30:56.980
The problem with Pulse is he was going to shoot up Disney, and then he shot up a less
01:31:26.000
I have to vote Pulse only because I can't have-
01:31:29.420
I can't have a fucking emo rapper or whatever artist-
01:31:42.320
I don't know if we can knock off you, so I'm going Pulse.
01:31:56.280
I was so looking forward to analyzing that weird motherfucker.
01:32:07.500
I have literally forgotten everything about him.
01:32:09.460
Yeah, I don't care about that story anymore now.
01:32:12.240
I feel like we could have willed that guy to win the whole thing if we would have got him in there.
01:32:21.120
So the audience knows we do talk about this, and we have a narrative that we're trying to push from the entire time.
01:32:28.860
If you're going to do emo rap, then do emo shit with your life.
01:32:33.120
You don't rap about emo shit and then go kill people.
01:32:43.080
I know, but then your song should be about killing people, not yourself.
01:33:07.880
I want to say the update on the Hitler's Fleshlight tattoo of Crip Daddy.
01:33:14.980
And I'm still working out the math of how I'm going to do it.
01:33:28.060
But then there's this sick part of me that I would still – I was a kid and I liked what I considered real.
01:33:35.600
And then there's this sick schizophrenic part of me that I thought, what if Crip Daddy isn't real?
01:33:42.080
No, but what I'm saying is what if he is this built, able-bodied kid who gets in the wheelchair and does the thing?
01:33:50.560
So it's like if I get a tattoo – because his whole thing is he inspires me not to be a bitch.
01:33:55.300
It's even funnier if you – like you should get a tattoo of Crip and Eliza Blue and like one of them will end up being real.
01:34:04.900
But then there's that part of my mind because like when you see everything goes behind a curtain, it makes me sick of like – I mean, again, at that point, it would still be really fucking funny if an able-bodied person pretended to be crippled and then took the career path that he did.
01:34:20.760
I'm just saying that concern did go through my head.
01:34:22.720
That Randall thinks Michael Laird is still alive.
01:34:26.920
I think you should have Toph design the Hitler flashlight tattoo.
01:34:33.940
That would be pretty cool, like a flashlight with a little Hitler mustache.
01:34:36.080
But now it's not going to happen for months because I donate $109.
01:34:41.980
The videos that we have were, I believe, A Man Who's on Fire.
01:34:53.240
It kept getting taken off of Twitter, but I think the one that we have in the spreadsheet
01:34:59.140
I can't remember if it was on this show or a different show where I talked about – no,
01:35:03.760
I remember watching a video of a guy setting a dog on fire.
01:35:12.980
Why is a man on fire so much better than a fucking dog on fire?
01:35:17.720
Because the dog didn't put itself on fire, dickhead.
01:35:24.120
I don't give a fuck with this random dude on fire.
01:35:27.380
How many times have dogs given you bullshit and lying at a store or just on the street
01:35:32.540
That was the worst take you've ever had, honestly.
01:35:39.320
Why do you care more about a dog than a random dude you don't fucking know?
01:35:42.820
Also, because dogs don't write fucking 100 comments about how much your comedy sucks.
01:35:57.220
Every time I see a homeless dude, though, I think about lighting them on fire.
01:36:05.260
Well, my question is how did he get set on fire?
01:36:11.280
Wasn't this a tweet that said, like, somebody who was, like, visiting with his son for a
01:36:19.980
Like, someone was just, like – he was like, yeah, I was videoing – I can't remember
01:36:23.520
Hey, maybe go to San Francisco State University.
01:36:49.080
That guy was like, chance to throw a bike at a black guy now.
01:37:01.420
I've been waiting 33 years for a black man to be on fire in front of me.
01:37:13.680
What was your thought with throwing the bike at all?
01:37:24.420
Yeah, but it's like that video of the Africans throwing the dirt on that house fire.
01:37:35.240
I think this entire video is a perfect analogy for the modern millennial, zillennial group of people because they see a man on fire.
01:37:44.240
You have a bunch of people that are so fucking dumb.
01:37:48.020
Then you have like the pinnacle of retardation that sprints in there with a bike and it's like, no, no, no, no.
01:37:55.860
How about you use your goddamn hands and be like a human being for a second?
01:38:01.000
You're not going to catch on fire just by pushing the fucking dude to the ground.
01:38:14.860
It really is like the, like you said, it is like the millennial thing of like, I don't know what I should do, but I just know I should do something.
01:38:24.680
They're like, can I, can I, can I downvote this?
01:38:29.380
Look at his, look at the little gay leg kick he does as he throws the bike.
01:38:33.480
When this, this almost happened to me in college and I, and I was smarter than this entire group.
01:38:39.300
Someone threw a bike at you when you were on fire?
01:38:43.120
So in college, you, you, you, you ever, uh, you know, you're hanging out with the boys and you take like a Zipro lighter.
01:38:51.920
You take a Zipro lighter and you set yourself on fire.
01:38:53.920
You know when you, you, when you take a girl's bra off and her tits explode in her bushes and she doesn't know you're there.
01:39:00.780
No, you take like a Zipro lighter and you light your sock on fire.
01:39:07.900
Oh, you're talking about letting the boys do it.
01:39:10.160
Yeah, we would do this all the time because it would like burn up like kind of all the fuzzies.
01:39:13.300
Oh, do you ever do the Axe body spray like on someone that's fucking with you?
01:39:17.560
No, where you light the spray and you press the fucking lighter and it like shoots like a flamethrower.
01:39:25.300
Do you ever mix gasoline and styrofoam and set it on fire on your friends?
01:39:37.000
Anyone ever been irritating and then you just roll out a guillotine and chop your fucking head off?
01:39:47.200
So, this story, by the way, I have another story where I.
01:39:51.660
I have another story where I almost burn my friend's mother's house down.
01:39:55.300
Tell it without stuttering and it'll be a banger.
01:40:03.060
So, no, no, the one in college, like we would light our sock on fire and like the fuzzies would kind of light on fire and it would like.
01:40:09.320
That's when Toad found out that cum is flammable.
01:40:13.620
But this one time I was doing it, because it would just be like this cool effect, but I had these pajama pants that were hanging down over my sock and the flame leapt to my pants and it went all the way up my pants and then all of a sudden my back was on fire.
01:40:27.580
So, I was, you know, not as extreme as this guy.
01:40:33.940
All right, you guys ready to plug and get out of here?
01:40:44.780
I did seriously almost burn my friend's mother's house down, though.
01:40:48.800
I just want to say that that remake of the Denzel Washington movie looked terrible.
01:41:19.480
Top Lobster with an A. Everywhere else on Instagram.
01:41:24.520
So go ahead and check that out on Twitter, Instagram, and all this shit.
01:41:28.460
Terrence Yeek, you didn't kill himself, but we're going to be working on some more Trinity
01:41:37.600
If I'm new to the Ball Ranger, Avocutters, I'll see you as well.
01:41:41.000
Tomorrow, Shane Cashman, Top Lobster, Clint Russell, myself, Four Pony Boys.
01:42:18.100
At the end of the month, the 24th, 25th, I'll be with Robbie the Fire, Bernstein, Steamboat,
01:42:23.760
April 6th, I'm doing the Delaware LP Convention, and then other shirts coming out.
01:42:31.700
I missed too much of the show to do a plug, but I'll say that I have my episode with Richard
01:42:49.880
It's a movie, like a holiday special of some shit, but it's multi-holiday.
01:42:56.660
A guy who, like, isn't where he wants to be in life, overcoming his past, getting broken
01:43:00.580
up with his girlfriend, and it's a Mark Random kind of holiday extravaganza.
01:43:06.340
He comes to terms with being Jewish, and it's really funny.
01:43:09.200
It has my stand-up in it, and all that other shit, and the song, I tried to match up with
01:43:13.840
the exact song, the exact syllables, and then it didn't, and I see mistakes in it, so
01:43:18.880
I wish I gave a better version, so that's it, and markrandom.com.
01:43:22.260
Where can I find your, your porn collection, because I know you've done porn.
01:43:27.320
I don't know if it's still there, Mitch, Mitch Harper.
01:43:31.280
I just, I literally just guessed that he has porn out there.
01:43:35.000
Male domination on female, and there's some orgy there.
01:43:37.220
I think the video with the chick in the cage is still there, I'm not sure, but.
01:43:40.080
Wait, wait, what's the name, what's the name I have to search for?
01:43:49.940
I, I forget, I fucking forget what the person put in the title.
01:43:57.100
I just want to see if his, if his heat surpasses mine.
01:44:01.780
Anyways, uh, no, it's no, it's no missionary sex.
01:44:06.680
That's on, I think, Reality Kings 10 years ago was on that, but there's nothing public
01:44:15.120
Uh, Fat Comic Dave and, um, at Tower Gang Cole on Twitter.
01:44:19.480
Go check out, I was on Adam Nutter Show with Top Lobster and with, um, Monica Perez.
01:44:30.560
Oh yeah, should we talk about the other thing, too?
01:44:33.560
Uh, me, Top Lobster and Adam are kind of trying to put together a conspiracy pod that Top has
01:44:41.280
been wanting to do with me, and then Adam hit me up, too, and I was like, you know what?
01:44:48.680
Hopefully soon we're going to talk about it and get something.
01:45:08.420
Very important that you guys subscribe to Tower Gang on Rumble.
01:45:11.140
We will not exist on YouTube forever, I assure you.
01:45:14.220
And I think the live stream is fucked up tonight, but I'll have to check that out.
01:45:19.640
I was just on Break the Cycle yesterday as well with Josh Smith.
01:45:30.560
I'm going to find Mitch Harperman's porno and watch it and review it on the next Sour Gang.
01:45:47.600
And then, like I said, I said to you guys, I was fucked up on drugs.
01:45:50.000
And then I looked at it and listened to it today.
01:45:52.000
And I was like, fuck, I could have done it better.
01:45:53.840
Little Dicky, play it now and we're going to banter our way out of here.
01:46:17.800
Tower Gang, Tower Gang, Tower Gang, Tower Gang.
01:46:31.420
Tower Gang, Tower Gang, Tower Gang, Tower Gang.
01:46:33.940
Tower Gang, Tower Gang, Tower Gang, Tower Gang, Tower Gang.
01:46:35.860
Tower Gang, Tower Gang, Tower Gang, Tower Gang.
01:47:02.640
Libertarian won't be the same, they revolution-y.
01:47:05.420
I miss grammar, it's sending it, rhymed dubitably.
01:47:20.520
Tower Gang, Tower Gang, Tower Gang, Tower Gang.
01:47:24.940
It's so fucking hard to line up the syllables and all.
01:47:53.420
Tower Gang, Tower Gang, Tower Gang, Tower Gang, Tower Gang.