Tower Gang - Ep 114 - Balance of Despair

00:00:00.000 yeah what's up retards i'm trying to start a cult here baby so i can only fit a third of my dick 1.00

00:00:07.880 into toads and mussy you want to kill me or you want to give me a boner i don't know 1.00

00:00:14.180 when i say fuck the jews it means i'm horny 1.00

00:00:17.240 hello is me i'm retarded any of you guys ever had the mythical where there's a whole thing in 1.00

00:00:22.880 and then do that shit where they're oh oh the three of you had a threesome of some kind i was 0.99

00:00:29.180 watching it and jerking off 1.00

00:00:30.920 he was a 10 in real life she's like a dead eight 0.99

00:00:39.000 lewis you're like a brother to me donald trump come on tower gang that is the most offensive podcast 1.00

00:00:47.080 fat dave fuck you man 1.00

00:00:49.040 it's not what this show was about this shit is retarded 1.00

00:00:57.160 it's not what this show was about this shit is retarded this is clint russell i'm the host of 1.00

00:01:04.740 liberty lockdown and also the fucking gayest member of tower gang as always we are joined by 0.99

00:01:10.360 jose galesano this is three jose we got toad host of autism hour at tower gang toad and then we've got 0.96

00:01:18.660 top lobster the host of top lobster.com pick up all your merch there thank you so much for joining

00:01:23.580 us and tuning in once again so we can say racial slurs and everybody gets excited that's right yeah 0.99

00:01:29.080 we got a you're about to start a conspiracy show too so i guess we can save that for the plugs i 0.95

00:01:33.280 think it sounds like you're actually getting some shit together so i am and you know what it's i'm 0.84

00:01:38.060 pulling like a double if this is gonna be so awful i'll tell everybody live right now so i was 0.63

00:01:42.900 planning it with adam nutter and cole and i've decided now that i'm just gonna do it probably by

00:01:47.480 myself so this is like a double kick it this is a double conspiracy cutthroat yeah i know i wish

00:01:52.200 cole was here to find out and cole uh is never here and his wife doesn't allow him to do that 0.63

00:01:58.640 many podcasts so it's just you yeah he'd be pretty unreliable just be you anyways by the end you know

00:02:03.600 i am stunned how challenging it is for people to just set aside an hour and a half a week like i know 0.84

00:02:11.220 i know i don't have kids and i don't have a wife but like it's a fucking hour and a half a week 0.99

00:02:15.700 and reed has shown up once a year it's like how the fuck is this happening this is your job 1.00

00:02:21.540 motherfucker you know how many times like podcasters get the shit like the argument of like they'll be 1.00

00:02:27.040 like oh you know how much better stuff you could be doing with your time and you're like i don't 1.00

00:02:30.600 know most people podcast in like the late afternoon early night it's like it's like tv yeah you'd be

00:02:36.280 watching tv i've gotten to the point where i mean for what i enjoy it i mean this is fun to me

00:02:40.700 it's like i'd probably make upwards of 50 an hour just i don't get a lot of hours in so like it's 0.98

00:02:46.500 like i mean it's pretty solid i don't know what the fuck you're talking about you'd be eating cheetos 0.97

00:02:51.140 on the couch so i don't know i'd be jerking off argument this show is saving my life it's actually 0.96

00:02:57.300 reed so i wasn't gonna do a podcast for the longest i've held out but that dude reed cooley 0.98

00:03:01.140 he made that that twitter comment or whatever he said and i was like you know what i'm gonna fucking 0.98

00:03:06.780 i'm gonna do it finally because he said because he said fuck podcasting 0.98

00:03:10.720 these guys just talking to us like you want to see people talking to him mike uselessly i'm about 0.98

00:03:16.700 to talk about the anunnaki with people who are just completely out of their minds is about to be 0.94

00:03:20.800 the brendan shop of fucking podcasting like where he just jumps off from one thing to another i mean 0.99

00:03:25.980 don't get wrong i guess you've been doing podcasts i'm not gonna say you're gonna suck if we're talking 0.99

00:03:29.440 about you don't have that grind if we're talking about other podcasters with the speech impediments 0.86

00:03:33.960 you're the brendan shop of podcasting hey whatever is twice as sexy a little bit of lisp i'm all right

00:03:41.560 you know if you want to talk about tbis then toad is the brendan shop of talking well it's crazy

00:03:48.840 because it's not even tbi from like any kind of sport inflicted injury it's like tbi from like bad

00:03:54.260 diet and then he had a seizure then he hit his head on those weights back there that's how they moved

00:03:58.740 and that's how he's got the ct that that's that's close actually it was it was indeed because i was 0.98

00:04:04.300 morbidly obese and yeah i was a sedentary motherfucker i was extremely unhealthy just 0.99

00:04:10.780 eating shit constantly every time he tells a story i try to imagine him worse than he looks now and i 0.98

00:04:17.120 just can't and i have a good imagination i've sent you the pictures man i was like 200 pounds and uh 0.94

00:04:23.060 yeah no like i had really well first i had really high blood pressure so i wound up i went so i

00:04:29.720 hadn't i hadn't had a uh physical in seven years or something like that and and i had like these

00:04:34.500 really horrific headaches for like five years 0.99

00:04:37.300 i'm sorry guys yeah what the fuck vicky little dude not me fuck you i oh no so no i literally i 1.00

00:04:50.940 woke up like every saturday with a headache and i wasn't even like drinking back then so it was not 0.99

00:04:55.580 a hangover headache it was why why saturday then i don't know it was fucking freaky and then i still 0.99

00:05:01.660 was just like fuck it i'm gonna power through it i'm a man god damn power you powered through hell 0.99

00:05:06.640 powered through what what the seizure no i know i powered through having a headache every saturday 0.99

00:05:13.540 that was so bad that i was like vomiting and incapacitated i couldn't like move or eat anything

00:05:20.800 for the entire day i'm not i'm not joking and this reminds me when i was a little kid i used to go to

00:05:25.180 my grandma's house and you tell me about what ails are this one this went on for like five years and

00:05:32.180 then my lap jose you little stick my great-grandma ailments my great-grandma used

00:05:36.600 to do the same thing and then and then she'd be like why don't you come visit more often i'm like 1.00

00:05:40.280 bitch because you never shut the fuck up about all this ailment shit that i don't want to hear 1.00

00:05:43.740 about it's the same way i feel every wednesday night when i come on the show i'm like is is he 1.00

00:05:48.340 gonna tell me again about his fucking no well you have everything wrong with him he's got a hammer 0.98

00:05:52.360 toe today he's gonna fucking i don't think i don't think i don't think like this part of it 0.99

00:05:57.640 though like the build-up to it so that was happening so i was obviously like on death's door and i was 0.99

00:06:03.000 just like fucking i don't care like i'm powering through this headache whatever i finally went to 0.97

00:06:07.320 uh get a physical for the first time in seven years they take my blood pressure and it's 190 0.98

00:06:12.980 over 120 and they put me in an ambulance is that bad i don't know is that i'm not even sure

00:06:18.480 his delivery is what throws it like i don't know what it should be 30 over 80 or so 120 over 80 is

00:06:26.060 normal if i was if i was telling this story i i don't mean to brag but i'm like i'm a seasoned

00:06:31.140 podcaster at this point but i if i was telling the story it would have been like enthralling i

00:06:35.900 told a story about me i first i told a story about my cousin sleeping next to me and jerking

00:06:39.940 off and that was a lie and people believed that they loved it then i told a story about me actually

00:06:43.900 doing it it was only reverse lie yes it was reverse lying but people people loved it you're

00:06:49.260 telling this story it's gold i'm telling you it's a good story i just don't know how you're

00:06:52.880 fucking it up again well then it was a situation on the mundane aspects of it and really 0.77

00:06:58.560 overemphasize them so then when we get to the serious parts like when you laid out the medical 0.97

00:07:02.560 stuff like we didn't know what you're talking about we just like we don't know it's that bad

00:07:06.040 that's good because you were just obsessing about some mundane shit a minute ago so you know one of

00:07:09.880 the most hilarious parts it's also the rhythm it's the rhythm it's the timbre of the story that i'm 0.53

00:07:14.440 really trying right am i am i right no no you're right and and also like i don't even i don't even

00:07:18.900 understand what he means by like i would just fucking soldier through my headache every saturday 0.97

00:07:22.640 it's like it's like you have your other option it's like i couldn't kill myself but i didn't 0.97

00:07:29.700 uh but like you you have a head through it you have a headache one day a week every week and you're

00:07:35.040 like i'm just gonna soldier through this it's like thank you for my service oh no i'm telling you

00:07:39.740 something wrong i'm telling you i existed oh it was today march 15th is toad day everybody

00:07:45.660 i don't even know calendars i just thought that clint's point was that was that that didn't sound

00:07:50.900 like it was that bad like that was like i was like dude it was horrific so when they

00:07:56.040 describe to us right now we tell you to go get help we're like yo go see a doctor

00:08:00.240 we'll see a therapist so i go i go to the physical my my blood pressure is so severely high that they're

00:08:06.580 like you're going to the er right now and i was already in the hospital but they still brought me

00:08:11.180 out in a stretcher put me in an ambulance and the ambulance literally drives and then turns

00:08:15.740 they can just stay in the same parking lot it's the ER in the same hospital okay wait wait wait 0.98

00:08:22.580 let's hit you with the bill for the ambulance that seems fucked up let's break down this 0.95

00:08:27.280 storytelling they hit insurance as he's telling the story i'm like i'm like yeah yeah yeah and 0.98

00:08:33.420 then it gets to a point where it's like instead of getting this nice plateau and you get the

00:08:36.720 down it's like it's like you're just driving and hidden to a wall and it's like oh it's over

00:08:41.180 we need to work on it it's a it's a long climb and then you just hit a wall at the top right 0.96

00:08:45.680 before the down part that's a fucked roller coaster dude like he really he'd give really 0.99

00:08:50.360 good stories if he had like an editor that followed through after you know like just took 0.75

00:08:54.820 some thoughts and other parts you know i'm completely unedited and as reed pointed out i

00:09:00.900 will tell stories and i will get like everybody really engaged and then i don't even know why

00:09:06.300 like i don't know why because it's rude because they don't have that kind of rapport they'd be 0.90

00:09:10.140 like what the fuck are you doing right now i'm gonna be straight with you the reason that you 0.95

00:09:14.160 feel as if people are engaged is because everyone's just very attentively watching you waiting for a 0.99

00:09:19.760 gap in your story so that they can bail so they're like they're just sitting there like they're like

00:09:23.840 he's gonna he's gonna take a breath here soon and as soon as your head you've become you've got

00:09:27.840 to the point if i don't have breaks people remain enthralled and like no you just haven't given

00:09:32.360 them an escape exit i said the reason people don't interject and interrupt them and frankly don't punch

00:09:37.880 you in the face halfway through because you you open up all these stories with i'm in tower gang 0.98

00:09:43.220 motherfucker and they're like whoa they tower gang holds all the weight and also it's threatening so 0.99

00:09:48.600 like i better see it for a minute no that's that's true and then and then of course as you guys know 0.99

00:09:53.520 uh the high blood pressure then caused a stroke which caused a seizure and i wound up

00:09:58.900 in the er you guys know what a good segue to go right back into my ailments

00:10:05.940 it's like it's like he doesn't he doesn't actually process anything we say which is kind of like

00:10:11.500 endearing but also infuriating yeah speaking of which dicky go ahead and bring up that bracket

00:10:17.180 we're doing the uh you know trigger toads autism today well yeah i do that yeah i think i think we

00:10:24.280 should finish it like we can do it with like without even elaborating further like i think 0.96

00:10:28.800 we should just finish it i was joking bring that shit down oh man we got we got it we got to still 0.90

00:10:34.440 finish it man all right if you if you're in the chat right now and you want to see us finish the 0.94

00:10:38.360 bracket say finish yeah i'll be honest toad is like super set on this i i enjoy the brackets i i my opinion

00:10:46.900 is they do start as a slog but i you i think they usually pick up towards the end you get a little

00:10:51.460 bit of audience involvement it's a fun aside as you get further on into the competition takes up

00:10:56.980 less time uh so i enjoy it but i also don't care the other guys in the group seem to not really care 0.93

00:11:02.120 for anymore so i don't care i'm like if they don't want to do it i don't give a fuck whereas toad's like 0.94

00:11:06.740 we will finish this mother yeah like i said i i think we could turn it we could grift and we could 0.82

00:11:12.520 turn it into a patreon stream or we can just finish if we can finish the show we're finishing the

00:11:17.600 bracket yeah we can finish it we can finish a quick rapid fire no elaboration it it really became

00:11:22.920 a slog even though i love random and i actually thought it was kind of awesome that he had all

00:11:27.280 this info about it even though he was really wrong about the pulse uh nightclub one but i thought that

00:11:31.640 it was um yeah like we're talking about the bracket and i didn't want to do this so like it got too

00:11:37.160 i'll tell you my my main reason please stop talking about the bracket please stop talking about the

00:11:41.700 bracket the only reason i don't want to finish the bracket is because i don't give a fuck about people 0.90

00:11:45.920 like it killed in mass shootings i just i literally don't care and i can't keep pretending to care 0.99

00:11:51.440 this is my one this is my one hour a week that i get to come here and like like not give a fuck 0.99

00:11:56.620 and now i have to act like i give a fuck i still don't even know what i'm rating like am i rating 0.98

00:12:01.340 like i like this one the best like what am i doing that that's the whole point it's up to you 0.97

00:12:06.140 it's like jazz like you see there just start riffing and just go with it 0.89

00:12:10.940 oh god i fucking hate it man this is so anyway if anyone's wondering why i am being mean to toad 0.96

00:12:18.840 right now i i'm usually sort of mean but not this mean and i'm gonna continue with it like we probably 0.98

00:12:22.960 have like another hour so i'm gonna fucking keep it up i'm gonna keep this shit at 11 it's because of 0.98

00:12:27.800 the bracket it's because this is this is why and it's irrational i know but i'm just gonna continue 0.96

00:12:32.900 it so everybody type uh type toad in the chat if you want to see me roast toad i'm surprised i'm

00:12:38.860 actually seeing a lot of people saying they want to finish it yeah i told you this is why it's about 0.94

00:12:44.020 people don't have a podcast that's why you're watching this dumb shit by the way top was the 0.84

00:12:49.920 only one who said that he was going to join me on the patreon to finish it so was i i'm a lot nicer 0.99

00:12:57.240 in the chat i need a conclusion all right you fucking i guess everyone's autistic everyone 0.98

00:13:02.880 everyone that watches this show is just as autistic as toad that's what i learned right 0.99

00:13:05.900 now i pull up the fucking bracket god damn it seems there's a lot of votes but we don't even 0.99

00:13:10.320 have well but i i think but i'm noticing there's people who are doing both you don't need ramden 0.98

00:13:14.540 he ran through all of them already right it'll be quicker without him so so we're doing these

00:13:18.680 four matchups here today so let's just let's fucking do it paris virginia tech vote i don't even 0.90

00:13:24.140 remember virginia tech was what the asian kid asian kid shot up virginia tech in the mid-2000s 0.95

00:13:30.140 uh paris was the the nightclub uh shooting which was um it was arabs uh doing it for religious 1.00

00:13:38.400 reasons and they killed like over 100 people at an eagles of death metal concert i vote va-tec just 0.98

00:13:45.500 because i don't care about fucking europe yeah something about an asian dude killing a bunch 0.99

00:13:50.380 of college kids is hilarious to me so i'm going virginia tech as well i feel like he was wearing 0.99

00:13:54.260 jinko pants when he did it so yeah virginia tech paris for me but of course he would of course he 0.99

00:14:00.800 would dissent yeah paris yeah fuck you now now now to to really ruin toad's autism i'm going to pick 0.99

00:14:08.220 all the ones that i know he doesn't want me to it's okay so go first oh we all vote against him for 1.00

00:14:16.280 everyone just go because fuck you and just keep going no clock tower and sandy hook is a good one 1.00

00:14:24.300 because clock tower was the dude who uh was at university of texas in the 60s it was like the 1.00

00:14:29.080 og school shooting he was sniping from a clock tower and it was because he had a brain tumor 0.99

00:14:34.360 i go sandy i go sandy hook because fuck them kids causing him to do it sandy hook of course we know 0.99

00:14:39.380 never happened so i'm going uh sandy hook just because it's the opposite of what i think you're 0.99

00:14:45.080 gonna pick and i just they're both funny to me so uh i i guess i'm going with that one

00:14:50.540 they are they really are funny in a lot of different ways um i'm not gonna lie though i'm

00:14:59.360 torn i i'm like i'm in my head i'm like sandy hook i don't know how many times can i make jokes

00:15:03.160 like haha it didn't happen like i'm missing i'm missing the humor here someone fill me in

00:15:06.420 why is the sandy hook shooting funny i mean it's funny on many levels yeah

00:15:11.140 you got an hour i could explain to the humor at every level i don't get it at all honestly

00:15:19.140 the town never existed you got children that never existed and i mean like even without the

00:15:25.500 never existed part it's already funny and then you add another not existing like i think the only

00:15:29.300 thing that's really funny to me about sandy hook is the the picture that they use for the shooter

00:15:33.300 because that kid looks fucking yeah brokenly autistic what's what's even more funny is like the 0.89

00:15:38.600 human the imaginary number that they sued alex jones for over that that's really funny to me 0.96

00:15:44.080 and i also in my head i'm imagining if we bring it to the end we can like play the videos of the

00:15:48.980 parents you know where they laugh and then then go up on on thing and then act all sad and we can

00:15:53.780 kind of like caption over them like oh yeah they're not focused bitch and i'm like oh yeah the little 1.00

00:15:58.040 fucking sandy dad 0.99

00:15:59.280 yeah for the for the championship we should do it that is pure that is pure evil and i and i 0.98

00:16:07.900 totally endorse the championship well that's why i wanted to you know you've seen the videos of them

00:16:12.120 like laughing and joking and then then immediately going on stage and then i mean like your face

00:16:16.280 change immediately right like dude come on like i mean i get like i get people process grief differently 0.75

00:16:20.540 but there's like come on you know what's real fucked up about this whole thing right now 0.97

00:16:25.160 off in the closet man so this is what's going to happen after the show in the chat toad is going

00:16:30.060 to be like see i told you guys this was a great idea and it's not i'm not it's just that we are so

00:16:35.600 good at riffing that we can riff over anything like totally down the worst backing track that you can do

00:16:42.280 it's just pots and pans and we're just fucking soloing all over the skeet skeet skeet 0.84

00:16:48.220 top uh have you heard of the band hura torpedo no they're they're a scandinavian cover band that

00:16:57.320 wear uh adidas jumpsuits and their percussion is all kitchen appliances you know i'm changing

00:17:03.060 they're fucking awesome i'm changing mine to sandy hook just because i really want to make that a 0.89

00:17:07.840 reality of us i'm also going with sandy hook because if it wins then we can uh get away with 0.97

00:17:12.640 this entire bracket because it's an imaginary mass shooting so i'm i'm going with clock tower

00:17:17.460 because toad went with sandy hook i respect that i respect that sandy hook moves on i like the

00:17:23.260 clock tower on uh and also sandy hook uh kind of sounds like some like jewish chick from long 0.99

00:17:29.180 island or something like her name is sandy and her nose looks like a hook i don't know all right 1.00

00:17:33.600 that's a that's what we call a stretch in this business yeah like it's like you could have just

00:17:37.740 let the joke sit like where it was at but you had to explain it and that makes it yeah all right

00:17:41.460 vegas versus vivaldi i go oh wait no that's next week right tonight no no we're never doing that

00:17:46.140 no we're doing these four now we're doing these four we're finishing this no no no no we're not

00:17:50.700 finishing this yes finish it that's not finish it finish it no no it'd be like five minutes on

00:17:57.120 like five minutes the next week's episode and five minutes of the following right the final four

00:18:01.480 will be two decisions and then the last one is one the whole reason i agreed to do this is because i

00:18:06.140 thought we were going to just fucking slam it out we are slamming through this slam it out man 0.98

00:18:10.120 next one next week there'll only be what two matches in the following week there'll be one 0.71

00:18:14.040 match no no no no no i'll say just do this just do this and then next week we finish it please

00:18:20.600 vegas because we can't have two uh like two made up like kids shootings in this bracket so vegas for

00:18:27.540 that reason vegas moves on of all these fake too all right it's all fake dude i watch my show

00:18:34.200 i think it's fake but real it's also i think that was just a full-on like mk ultra type thing and

00:18:39.140 they just let them just fucking mow down a bunch of kids yeah yeah yeah it's like it happened but

00:18:44.220 it's also a psyop you know yeah so it was uvaldi or what was the other one i can't vegas vegas vegas 0.99

00:18:49.620 vegas vegas vegas oh god that's a hard one uh i go vegas 100 it's one of my favorite fucking 0.98

00:18:56.780 i guess vegas fuck it vegas just something about it i do like i like the maxi mcconaughey grift on 0.99

00:19:02.620 uvaldi too though that that is pretty based yeah yeah he didn't really pan out to anything 0.99

00:19:07.980 i thought he would be like run for president or something from that but he kind of fucked up oh 0.98

00:19:11.260 hey he hasn't it's man he could uh i'm going vegas because the other one involving somebody 0.95

00:19:17.660 shooting from a tower is gone and we need one still in the bracket so it's vegas all right well

00:19:23.000 they shot from the helicopters oh did you see that article that came out they were saying like

00:19:29.140 some old man that said he saw three helicopters shooting yeah yeah you can see in the video and 0.98

00:19:34.100 it looks like there's fucking gunfire coming from him too i don't buy it i don't buy it if you listen 0.98

00:19:38.140 to it it sounds like a fucking uh i forget the type but it's a machine gun it's a single machine 0.99

00:19:42.860 gun that's just raining hellfire from a single location that's my opinion anyways uh fucking yeah 0.98

00:19:48.480 we got it vegas next one who do we got next christ church and pulse christ church which one was 0.97

00:19:55.560 oh that was uh like that's the new zealand mosque christ church is the most horrifying video you

00:20:01.080 will ever watch it was live streamed yeah so so we'll have to if that gets the finale we'll play

00:20:06.640 it and then like make gamer sounds in the background like fucking that'd be kind of find that 0.99

00:20:11.200 double kill no no we talk shit we talk shit like we're playing modern warfare 2 and you'd be like 1.00

00:20:18.700 oh got pawned you fucking noob this is a tough decision this is a tough decision because they 1.00

00:20:24.920 both feel like real to me in a way like christ church feels like i'm like just doing that in 0.99

00:20:30.180 a video game just mowing down a bunch of uh towel heads or whatever and and pulse it you know also 1.00

00:20:36.420 feels real to me because it's just like i don't know i'm blowing away a bunch of homos like i have 1.00

00:20:41.240 no idea why does that feel real you that you blow a bunch of homos i blow a bunch of homos 1.00

00:20:46.280 makes sense but i just i don't know uh i say christ church because it is like still sticks 0.91

00:20:52.900 with me to this day i should have never watched that video it was a huge mistake yeah i never did

00:20:56.860 you got if we get to the finale you guys will get to join with us in that in that uh pleasure again

00:21:01.180 it'll be a nice bonding experience if we if we actually run that on youtube we will be gone

00:21:05.900 we will be gone gone fully investing in rumble i'm not even sure you could do that on rumble dude 0.94

00:21:11.900 it is fucking horrific yeah this is a tough decision and then we give it a little dicky 0.88

00:21:16.440 to edit it like kind of make like balloons pop up whatever 0.99

00:21:19.100 it's like the sonic rings pop out of their body as they should have

00:21:24.240 emoji effects like all the hearts rising up so it blocks it out

00:21:28.520 it's unfortunate that random's uh romance story that he built up about the pulse uh nightclub

00:21:35.540 shooting was not real oh better better thing you just pin on like those like uh canadian heads 0.83

00:21:40.380 from south park on the come on guy you shot me in the head guy

00:21:46.020 you saw the episode where they did that to uh megan mark all right i did it wasn't i didn't enjoy it

00:21:53.940 what i didn't i'm just being straight with you uh pulse who's going who's up who's voting i mean

00:21:59.880 i think we all just getting christ i didn't vote yet but i'll go no matter

00:22:04.040 just because it literally only matter on one i'll go with pulse because i'm not gonna have

00:22:13.840 one anymore uh in the near future oh my god no no because because top's going in hard he's now 0.92

00:22:20.880 threatening suicide once again all right damn it i hate this show that's it all right that wasn't so 0.95

00:22:25.260 bad you guys are complaining no we're down we're down to the final four now it'll go like a begrudging 1.00

00:22:29.740 handy that kind of turned into like half-hearted sex that you're like okay well whatever it was 0.76

00:22:33.700 all right that's right like i just like i still i still came even though i wasn't at like a full 0.99

00:22:37.980 job yeah so uh all right i can't complain that was that's fine all right you didn't fuck yeah 0.98

00:22:44.340 any ad reads this uh this week or are we out of ad reads now no we can we got fired 1.00

00:22:49.840 somebody bought their coffee what the fuck i did i was the only one are you serious i think i was yeah 0.90

00:22:58.860 oh man it was good coffee it is i still have hey what's the what's the name of the company again 1.00

00:23:04.380 fox and sons fox and sons fox and sons go fucking get some fucking coffee you cheap fucking 1.00

00:23:09.900 monkeys steven fox dude he's a great real though we appreciate it it was dope 0.99

00:23:16.540 promo code uh dick don't even worry about a promo code at this point just give the guy some money so 0.85

00:23:22.560 he fucking gets his money back promo code gang might still work i don't know you can try it all 0.93

00:23:26.580 right you guys want to go ahead and roll into the mailbag see what we got wait no offense to 1.00

00:23:30.200 steve though he's he's such an idiot like the day after we were on uh no offense to steve he is 0.97

00:23:36.340 the day after we were on timcast like he was like i don't want to run an ad on that episode 0.99

00:23:40.280 yeah he runs an ad on the next episode it was like oh yeah that was right right he skipped the post

00:23:45.640 timcast one and he skipped dave smith and and he skipped sam trippoli you know what don't buy his 0.99

00:23:54.220 coffee he's got poor judgment dumb motherfucker he alternated with all of our bad episodes i'm sure 0.99

00:24:02.860 he's like super concerned about that misstep and the couple extra sales he could have made 1.00

00:24:06.700 still still you never know man i mean that's that's the thing is like once you convert people

00:24:11.960 on a subscription service you end up getting like a revenue stream that lasts for years i'm sorry i'm

00:24:15.720 being really autistic and answering this seriously when i shouldn't be i apologize you know what one

00:24:19.120 or two sales really does matter if you add up enough drops drops you know equals up to an ocean you know

00:24:24.280 i re-watched the my bad my bad i re-watched the dave episode and i would have bought his coffee if i

00:24:30.980 knew that it existed you did buy his coffee your joke doesn't even land because you just admitted it 0.99

00:24:36.540 let's do the fucking mailbag 1.00

00:24:39.380 oh hey dicky what's up what's up you ball sec 0.99

00:24:45.080 all right phil says tower a david hogg tweet this month no all right we don't do that we don't do 1.00

00:24:53.720 it on command yeah not not anymore what the fuck do you think you are i am fuck yourself 1.00

00:24:58.600 fuck you phil phil phil listen this guy paid us to to sell his coffee and we just 1.00

00:25:03.580 called him a dick what do you think what do you think is gonna happen here huh you gave us two 1.00

00:25:07.360 bucks a tower or something also uh we're not your whores yeah well what somebody should do though is 0.99

00:25:12.780 reply to one of david hogg's tweets and tell him that parkland didn't even make it out of the first

00:25:16.960 round of our bracket because it's uh because it's a shooting that affected nobody that'll be really

00:25:23.760 punchy for twitter and it'll really catch on a lot of people will like it but that's right 0.99

00:25:29.380 next one all right spud asks cats or dogs cats i'll be fucking for having sex with 1.00

00:25:37.720 i don't know i like cats i like dogs but i also like dogs i've had great dogs it's hard i can 0.98

00:25:44.120 really it's not either or for different purposes it's a heart cats what cats yeah like why how did 0.98

00:25:49.320 you get into like like you had a hairless cat and you're like i want to see this thing fuck 0.95

00:25:52.880 like no me and my wife had them they're super sweet they're way friendlier than normal cats like 1.00

00:25:57.860 they're like all they ever want to do is cuddle they're super chill you know why not assholes 0.99

00:26:02.020 because they're cold because if they were if they were like normal cats no one would fuck with those 0.99

00:26:05.500 ugly things yeah probably i don't know whatever they're fucking awesome that's why people love 0.97

00:26:09.520 them and uh yeah so i guess like normal like just some cat i got off the street because it was 1.00

00:26:14.020 fucking the stray yeah the cat's gonna be a fucking asshole and fuck it uh like i don't like the 1.00

00:26:18.540 generic cat you know fuck it yeah yeah for real fuck them i was like oh oh rescue don't buy no 1.00

00:26:26.600 buy don't rescue the rescues are assholes okay i guess if you find a nice one but you know jc's 1.00

00:26:33.080 comment is great i'm very lazy so like i like cats because you don't have to do much for them but 0.88

00:26:37.640 like at the same time dogs are more loving and fun i mean a dog that you have a well-trained dog like

00:26:43.260 an adult dog like a dog so much more responsibility like because you have to be like years of like dealing

00:26:47.940 as a puppy but when you put in a lot of time and work to a good dog and it's like an adult like 0.94

00:26:52.380 that's awesome like dude my dad my dad got a half pomeranian that he fucking loved this dog but he 0.98

00:26:57.280 never walked it the dog lost its goddamn mind he never went outside so then he finally ran away and 0.98

00:27:04.940 then i don't even know where the fuck he ended up but uh just ran away yeah it was like i gotta get 0.99

00:27:12.080 some fucking energy out he was like 12 years old the dog had just been in in the house for 12 years 0.99

00:27:16.720 it's fucking crazy well here's the thing a cat is kind of more like a woman like it's kind of more 0.99

00:27:21.260 like emotional and like it takes like a while to like actually warm up to you and it might like run 0.99

00:27:25.420 away from you you know and where a dog is just basically more like a kind of like a retard he's 0.99

00:27:30.840 like he's like he's like your retarded buddy so i'm going dogs but cats love me for some reason 0.90

00:27:36.920 i'm a pussy magnet all right man and uh by the way i do put sweaters in my hairless cats for that 0.98

00:27:43.040 for michael who asked in the chat uh yeah they get cold man 0.99

00:27:46.440 never had that problem yeah wait so do you think you think like like woman run away from you 1.00

00:27:56.640 that i don't understand like your analogy because they're like cats they're skittish 1.00

00:28:00.640 exactly yeah i like dogs because they let me fuck them if i just put peanut butter on my nut sack 0.99

00:28:06.840 that's right exactly i need to get some action man next next one even though a dog's tongue is 0.99

00:28:15.720 like really smooth and flat but a cat's is like really like bumpy and scratchy so it's a very

00:28:20.400 different experience like this is as close as you get to having reed on the show

00:28:24.340 all right all right lorenzo asks everyone but toad what is y'all's best dating advice for young

00:28:34.860 guys all right no listen i actually have good advice but i don't execute on it myself so go

00:28:40.720 ahead get laid on and then yeah go ahead tell us tell us all your great dating advice toad well i

00:28:45.580 think i think i think the number one thing i would say is don't care too much

00:28:51.340 i can agree with that that's actually true yeah see it's a balancing problem problem is i don't

00:28:58.240 i don't uh do that myself i want you to keep going until i fucking die laughing keep going 0.97

00:29:02.660 yeah what else do you do i mean that was just good though i mean yeah that's fine yeah that's a

00:29:07.980 good one no it really is like i mean there's so much stuff in life that is a balancing act of 0.99

00:29:12.320 giving a fuck it's like i've said before like if you're like insane like if you're with a woman 1.00

00:29:17.080 generally speaking and you're like in your head obsessed like i'm gonna fuck her 1.00

00:29:21.320 tonight you're probably not gonna fuck her but if you're like i don't care but i'm but you have 1.00

00:29:25.200 this like cool calm confidence of like we're probably gonna fuck but you're not like obsessive 0.99

00:29:29.840 over it you're more likely to fuck but yeah like it's a balancing act you know also i think the other 1.00

00:29:34.860 day sorry to interrupt again i did shave the other day and once again zero pussy every single time 1.00

00:29:42.020 100 yes because when you shave you have this like mental process of like hell yeah i'm getting ready 0.99

00:29:46.100 for it and then you kind of like getting that energy of like what's up babe and then they can feel it on 0.96

00:29:50.740 you and they're like fuck off like but when you're like when you're just like whatever i don't give a 1.00

00:29:54.540 fuck about the pussy they're like what's up where that yeah my dating advice yeah is really uh you 1.00

00:30:00.540 know get yourself some roofies uh be very covert about it that's that's more accurate yeah 1.00

00:30:06.940 no i think i think the the best advice i can give you is if uh if you don't if you wouldn't want to 0.99

00:30:15.100 fucking marry you then then why would they want to fuck you so like become that guy that some some 0.99

00:30:20.360 woman might consider marrying and if you can't if you can't get there i mean you could you could 1.00

00:30:24.260 still get laid before you're of that of that caliber but like you have to demonstrate that

00:30:28.520 you're on that trajectory towards being a man or at least put on that energy like you are that well

00:30:33.500 yeah i mean if you're good at at bluffing then you can bullshit your way there too but like it's also

00:30:37.680 it's also better for you if you just do it because then it's actually better for your life

00:30:41.180 so you should just do it you're just saying make a lot of money just make more money that's not it

00:30:45.940 i mean that's that's a huge part of it but like also just um you know become well-rounded stay in

00:30:52.100 shape you know have have a sense of humor don't be toad like a whole bunch of different be awesome

00:30:56.400 it's like the best advice yeah just be awesome be great as yeah no like unironically yes make

00:31:04.320 yourself better and if you're obsessed about women then you're it's like like the thing that you

00:31:09.520 obsess the most about is like i guess it depends on how you obsess about it is like what you're

00:31:13.960 more likely to chase away or at least certain things in life that if you try too hard you're

00:31:18.680 more likely to like you know it see it you know pass through your fingers i think yeah like if you put

00:31:23.000 if you put photos of the girl that you're trying to to date all over your wall then you will chase

00:31:27.820 her away because she'll see that and know that you're a serial killer toad oh this is a tip for 0.99

00:31:36.380 you buddy he's like he's like oh fuck how did he know that take those yeah yeah yeah but yeah but 0.99

00:31:42.800 yeah but it's not just my current uh infatuation it's all of my victims actually so um no but uh 0.99

00:31:49.460 yeah so if you want to be obsessed about something obsessed about improving yourself because then that

00:31:55.900 will reflect and also you want to like have fun with her and like create good memories in her

00:32:01.720 mind you want you want her to associate you with positivity and fun and on the flip side don't be

00:32:08.240 obsessed with finding perfect too many people are obsessed with perfect there is no perfect yeah

00:32:12.160 respectfully disagree definitely pursue perfect yes from the guy in his like late 40s

00:32:17.140 but but uh i will say this too there is a huge value in social proofing so like if you don't have 0.96

00:32:27.560 any fucking hot girlfriends like you don't expect to get hot girlfriends like i i have i have so many 0.98

00:32:34.300 hot girlfriends back in san diego and i had so many girls that were interested in me because i was 1.00

00:32:38.440 always kicking it with all these hot girls and they were like what's up with this dude yeah it's like

00:32:42.120 it's a it's a resume thing yeah yeah it's why i'm also being around hot women all the time makes 1.00

00:32:47.500 you act like less of a retard when you're around them so like as soon as you realize that they're 1.00

00:32:51.380 actually fucking way dumber than you it's like why are you why are you putting the pussy on a 1.00

00:32:55.960 pedestal but you gotta you gotta be smart about it you gotta like be able to compartmentalize of like 1.00

00:33:00.120 i'm hanging with these dumb women because so i'm good at hanging out with dumb women but i don't 1.00

00:33:04.340 actually enjoy hanging out these dumb women because they're dumb women so let me i this is going to be 1.00

00:33:08.280 unpopular here but actually most of my girlfriends are actually very very far and funny and funny uh 1.00

00:33:14.040 and and you can like once you get accustomed to being around hot women then you won't just wipe 0.94

00:33:18.940 up the first hot dumb bitch that talks to you so like you can actually there are hot women that are 1.00

00:33:23.160 smart and funny and also don't burn your bridges with those hot women for the future at any point in 1.00

00:33:28.420 time just like clint just demonstrated correct caught me caught me yeah i would say i was i did this a lot

00:33:37.160 when i was younger like i would like dumb down myself and try to fit in or try to be what i think

00:33:41.720 that they wanted to see and honestly it's just a waste of time you might be whack yeah maybe i'm just

00:33:46.740 speaking for myself because i'm not whack like a lot of like lorenzo who asked a question um 0.93

00:33:51.360 just fucking say what you got to say and if somebody doesn't like it this goes for just about 0.94

00:33:57.000 anything not just woman if people don't like it you'll attract the people that you kind of want 1.00

00:34:01.660 around you anyway say what you mean and that's that right it's why it's why i attract all gay 0.99

00:34:07.160 men around me you don't attract shit we're here 1.00

00:34:09.880 you attract debt 1.00

00:34:14.620 gambling you attract bad gambling advice i pay up front i'm debt free baby all right credit score is 0.90

00:34:23.360 amazing we're gonna talk about this now because it's so fucking irritating that you even though even 0.99

00:34:29.620 though you don't want me to give you shit about your gambling addiction every day i have to wake 0.98

00:34:33.800 up to you talking about it and i don't want to fucking hear about it anymore so so i'm gonna drag 1.00

00:34:38.920 your ass again you say oh i didn't get any sleep last night because i was up all night fucking 0.99

00:34:43.520 hitting the algos and figuring out the spreadsheet so i can figure out the fucking bracket i have no idea 1.00

00:34:47.940 why my mental health is in shambles yeah that was not for gambling at purposes at all though that 0.98

00:34:53.480 was for filling out a bracket which has nothing to do with gambling like filling out has nothing to do

00:34:57.820 picking picking who's gonna win in a sports event i'm telling you i'm telling you it has it has

00:35:02.100 essentially nothing to do with gambling like if you're a gambler you're probably actually not going

00:35:06.360 to be that good at uh at filling out an entire bracket because you you're you're having to predict

00:35:11.940 like five rounds ahead bracket doing a bracket is like game theory like it depends on like how big

00:35:17.780 your pool is who's picking who like you have to like take all that and see it's not gambling it's not

00:35:23.220 crippling my life because i could do a semantic dance where i make this most more expansive thing

00:35:28.840 than just a simplistic thing you call gambling gambling is way more simple actually you can just

00:35:35.860 look you just look at this is team versus team like what like what yes it is just a bunch of

00:35:41.680 picking team versus team no no no yes i'm destroying my life but it's more sophisticated than that

00:35:46.300 no no no no because in gambling you're just trying to get that like 53 percent winners when when you're

00:35:53.620 in a bracket and you have you know if you're looking at i mean it's not actually 53 percent every time but

00:35:58.640 uh for this purpose like assume that it is you get that one wrong then the rest of your bracket is

00:36:04.400 completely fucked and gambling is not gambling is not like that at all you can't yeah it's a parlay it's a 0.96

00:36:09.680 parlay bet yeah that's parlays are for suckers parlay is a gamble i don't i don't parlay i'm a 1.00

00:36:17.020 fucking i'm a fucking better man i'm a goddamn grinder i bet i bet the same amount i'm also on 0.99

00:36:22.720 grinder i bet the same amount on on every bet oh my god dog you're kidding me right now i mean he's 1.00

00:36:30.160 just rationalizing how he's not a game like you're addicted can you just say you're addicted i'm a dick 0.99

00:36:37.340 what you're you're more addicted to gambling than i am to this and i'm pretty hooked no no no no no no 0.99

00:36:45.680 i've got three hours in the past 72 calendar days but no it's it's not gambling

00:36:53.380 i haven't slept in a week and a half i'm not a i don't have a problem i'm just my eyes are sleepy okay

00:37:01.460 listen man i don't bet more than i can afford i bet the same amount on every bet i'm not like losing my 0.98

00:37:06.800 shit on like i don't bet oh i don't bet more than i can afford i'm down fucking 5500 over the past 0.98

00:37:11.920 week and a half i haven't slept in a month that was one of my worst weeks ever recently yes that 0.99

00:37:17.240 was that was guys rent is always paid there's always saltines and milk in the fridge i'm okay

00:37:23.520 so you could just deny this you could you could deny this nobody else is in our group chat you can 0.99

00:37:28.220 just say clint you're full of shit you're exaggerating but you're admitting to it now 0.75

00:37:31.840 listen to me but wait up guys everybody in this chat right now go press the like button 0.98

00:37:36.720 and so we can get this algorithm up maybe more people could hear toad banter about how he's not

00:37:41.120 an addict go ahead toad what i'm saying is i can afford a 5500 loss when it's like you know that's 0.97

00:37:47.180 like a really rare like it's a one-time occasion where it's really bad dude i'm on fucking tower 0.98

00:37:51.960 gang bro and i uh i dude i drive a fucking bronco i went i just imagine in my head i just see on the 0.99

00:38:00.040 edge i thought i could afford it i thought i could afford it listen to me i thought i i could afford it 0.95

00:38:04.940 i could afford it i went such a terrible spiral when i when i bought the bronco because i just because i 0.97

00:38:11.000 just was a fucking idiot and i wrecked my other car i was like i need a car right now i want a bronco 0.99

00:38:16.600 the bronco that i found i wanted one of the blue ones i wanted one of the blue ones and the only 1.00

00:38:24.560 one that i could find was this nearby dealership and it was the showroom model i walked in and i

00:38:30.940 just paid for it like just straight up in cash just like whatever 36 000 here you go buying the

00:38:37.760 bronco driving it up the show what does this have to do with your gambling addiction to our once i don't

00:38:43.260 have a problem i'm telling you i can afford i can afford i bought a car too and i don't have a 0.99

00:38:48.000 gambling problem i walked into the dealership i bought the car what the fuck are you talking 0.96

00:38:51.940 about i bought i bought my cor i bought my corvette on on debt and it's really dumb not to take a car 0.99

00:38:58.060 loan when you could lock it in under two percent i mean i agree exactly like why would you buy cash you

00:39:02.960 retarded i wanted an example of why he doesn't have a problem for the future 0.96

00:39:08.000 he's like i walk in there i don't even fucking negotiate i open up a briefcase 36k boom i walk 0.97

00:39:15.520 out i have no more money i can't eat for a month and a half my life is on the fucking brink of 0.98

00:39:20.700 despair i look at a bridge i think about it do i jump do i not never seen a titty in my life 1.00

00:39:25.460 fuck it i don't have a problem let me go i'm on tower gang bitch he's definitely stuck the titty 1.00

00:39:29.900 listen he walked in the car the car salesman was like i bet you won't buy this shit cash and he's 1.00

00:39:34.320 like word he's like bet you're wrong motherfucker that's basically what i said because look i was 1.00

00:39:40.860 the the salesman really uh got me he was a very suave black man in a suit and i was like holy shit 1.00

00:39:47.280 this motherfucker you got rolled by a black yeah yeah you're out of the gang dog yo straight up i 1.00

00:39:52.920 went to a kia so kia has a pretty good minivan they have the the carnival and it has like some 1.00

00:39:58.080 cool shit in there and i was like i could put a lot of kids in here they can go wild but the guy 0.90

00:40:01.580 showed me the car was black and right away i was like this is a deal breaker i went to honda 0.99

00:40:05.840 had a nice spanish white looking dude so like so right away i was like listen i don't even like this

00:40:11.360 car but i like you take my money i swear to god you gotta ask my wife we both walked out my wife was 1.00

00:40:17.920 like like he was like so can we make a deal and the kia and and my wife was like we gotta get out

00:40:22.400 here not this guy if it was the other guy maybe we should so uh you you bought a car from a black 0.89

00:40:27.460 usually they'll steal cars from you man what are you doing he probably he's probably the reason you 1.00

00:40:32.660 wrecked your other car just to get your ass in there to buy that whoa no no he was like drunk driving i 0.98

00:40:38.220 think that was like around pork fest right that was right before pork fest or after you crash your car 0.99

00:40:43.360 drunk driving yes we've never told this story see i was a little bit upset about my previous night 0.53

00:40:51.520 gambling i didn't have a problem i don't have a fucking problem it was yeah it was like a month 0.98

00:40:58.300 before pork fest but i powered through it it was a month before pork fest because this top remembers 0.97

00:41:03.660 this was 2021 i showed up at pork fest with my new bronco and i was showing it off and 0.93

00:41:08.640 brandon was in the back seat so i had a tranny fucker in the back seat with me you know 1.00

00:41:12.700 they're just not relevant did you crash your car on friday is that why you woke up on saturday 0.98

00:41:18.720 with a headache by chance no uh so i've i've totaled two vehicles that were both uh ford

00:41:25.580 focuses foci one was because i you know you know that's a good joke with the banger that wasn't 0.98

00:41:36.520 even a good one you don't you don't want me to tell these stories of me so we'll be the judge of

00:41:39.960 that no i mean we we want you to tell the story but only if it's funny is it of me totaling my car

00:41:44.100 well i have two stories i mean you got drunk and you crashed your car that i was down on my phone

00:41:48.720 i saw the bears had lost and i just cranked the wheel okay the the drunk the drunk driving one

00:41:54.620 the drunk driving one the drunk driving one is the drunk driving one is way less hilarious of a

00:42:01.360 story than the other one uh so i'm driving home from the super bowl party the drunk the drunk

00:42:07.400 driving one no i realized i lost half my life no so what happened was i'm off to chicago

00:42:13.340 all right go ahead sorry this was the end of may 2021 it was my mom i'd pay for a dialysis

00:42:19.680 it was the first day it was the it was the day they repealed the mask mandate in massachusetts

00:42:29.480 so i went out i was like i'm going to the brewery one of my favorite breweries i'm gonna drink

00:42:35.680 i'm gonna have some drinks it's gonna be gonna be awesome it was a fun time like dude everybody

00:42:41.540 was like in high spirits and no glance up at the tv in the bar and i saw the ganu lost by an arm bar

00:42:48.080 exactly awesome how i predicted it was amazing it was like a packed brewery like almost nobody was 1.00

00:42:53.180 wearing a mask except this one dumb white bitch everything like everybody else piece of shit carolina 1.00

00:42:59.160 panthers doinks the extra point off the upright and i get into my car i hit it 150 1.00

00:43:04.620 orchestrated beautiful flower loss this is in may so the only the only betting that was going on was

00:43:16.120 baseball and i don't remember what the betting was because yes i got drunk and it was a bad 0.97

00:43:21.520 six thousand dollars joey chestnut was gonna eat 60 hot dogs and the motherfucking that's july 4th 0.98

00:43:27.420 unbelievable uh no i uh oh fuck no so i was drunk but then it was also like i was driving home kind of 0.99

00:43:35.640 like at dusk and it was raining out and there's this oh so you're day drinking this is uh it was you 0.98

00:43:41.620 like you got blackout drunk and the car crash early evening how drunk were you uh not that drunk really

00:43:49.920 okay your car says otherwise no no no i'm not no it was a bad combination of everything i'm a bad

00:43:56.540 driver and i was somewhat drunk and i uh didn't break the nap though no no i i didn't i i got off

00:44:04.560 the highway when you get off the highway up here uh there's this i think clint clint you've you've seen

00:44:10.460 i think i showed you uh the the place where this happened right my name is just clint if you call me

00:44:15.020 clint clint again i swear to god clint uh you get off you get off the highway and it's this turn

00:44:22.520 where really really really it's all right all right keep going keep going yeah i've seen your 0.70

00:44:31.300 fucking bridge whatever dude yeah what yeah no it's not a really it should be like how aggro 0.71

00:44:36.640 clint is getting like not letting joe finish the story between gambling and what i do really it 0.97

00:44:43.320 should be one of these uh it should be at like a yield where you merge into oncoming traffic here

00:44:48.620 but you have to completely stop and you literally have to look completely behind you to see if traffic

00:44:53.320 is oncoming so i was doing that while i was kind of like almost like hydroplaning and i was drunk

00:44:59.240 and and it was like yeah the situation was cloudy dark couldn't really see anything i'm like okay so

00:45:04.780 the you know i knew that the next car that was coming up was not close enough to me so i'm like

00:45:10.100 i'm gonna keep going so i didn't come to a complete stop either and there's a telephone pole right near

00:45:15.100 return that's way too close to the road that's a good place to stop like literally in the road

00:45:20.100 so i hit the telephone it wasn't literally in the road it pretty much is pretty squarely outside of

00:45:27.400 the road no no no no it's an impossibility that it is actually in the road but good that's why we're 0.75

00:45:32.800 libertarians like who built these fucking roads it's on it's on the very edge of the curve so 0.81

00:45:37.700 then what happened was uh so uh local police local police showed up first okay look well actually 0.99

00:45:44.100 and you abandoned the car you just ran out the car no no no you took your pants off

00:45:47.980 well you could see that too with the boston big man race i kind of did that once but uh don't you dare 0.99

00:45:58.620 pivot to another stupid oh i have a lot of stories if we were doing this in real like in real life 0.99

00:46:05.320 like with together i would have grabbed you physically by the face and said don't you 0.99

00:46:09.040 okay okay all right all right okay all right i'll try to i'll try to finish this but there's there's

00:46:15.560 kind of a lot going on here so i i was not going to what's going on the big man race i don't understand

00:46:21.440 this all right so so the chicago bulls are at halftime i see that the spread is eight and a half 0.96

00:46:30.600 like look this this story is not that complicated by the way so they better be fucking winning they 0.96

00:46:36.820 better be so wait did you sorry so you crashed your car what did you do after it's well so did you 0.99

00:46:42.360 run well i was no no no i was dude oh fuck oh fuck that's weird oh fuck i was kind of like in a 0.99

00:46:50.740 day i'm never gonna recover so much harder now the only hope he immediately pulls out his phone 0.99

00:46:56.940 starts sports betting offshore he's just like gotta make it up gotta make it up it's pretty it's pretty

00:47:02.200 hard to do on the phone with five dimes you have to vpn through hong kong mother of god oh yeah 0.97

00:47:07.020 take my joke seriously keep going uh well i take everything seriously because i'm way too autistic 0.79

00:47:11.380 so there was a guy there there was a guy who saw the accident happen he like tried to help me and

00:47:16.460 i was like i'm fucking fine bro i'm totally fine he's like no you're not you're like bleeding 0.97

00:47:20.300 profusely from your face and he gave me like good dude he gave me he gave me napkins to clean up my 0.99

00:47:28.080 face i remember that and then just spitting blood i was like don't be a pussy i'm fine 1.00

00:47:33.760 so anyway i powered through it well yeah i had a headache every saturday for a year and a half 0.92

00:47:40.580 after that no that was years before this but uh so local police showed up an ambulance showed up and

00:47:46.800 and the emts were like we're like dude we got we got to get you in the ambulance we got to bring

00:47:51.420 you to the hospital which by the way was literally like right up the street um the hospital

00:47:55.640 why did they take your license i have i don't know because chaos traumatic so i decide i admit it

00:48:04.800 live on a no no so here's what happened so i was so i was arguing with the emts just like back when i

00:48:11.200 had the seizure and i fought off like three were you arguing with them about sports betting this time i

00:48:16.060 was no i was arguing with clearly gambling i didn't i did not want to get in the ambulance i was like i was

00:48:21.440 like i'm totally fine they're like uh you're bleeding from your face and your temple and you

00:48:25.920 might have a head injury very concerned about your gambling problem get in the ambulance

00:48:30.960 but really it's not so much the tbi i'm concerned with as much as the addiction but really i can patch

00:48:37.340 this up but i don't know if i can fix that thing for you that's something you're going to work on 0.60

00:48:41.580 yourself there toad i was too stupid at first to realize what they were doing they were actually

00:48:46.040 saving me not physically that's that's literally how you should feel about everyone on the show 1.00

00:48:50.860 that's constantly giving you shit about your gambling at first i was too stupid to realize 0.98

00:48:54.380 that they're just trying to save me not not in a in a health way in this case but well so this was on 1.00

00:49:00.140 a state route so what the emts knew was that state police were going to show up and then i was probably 0.88

00:49:05.360 going to be fucked so they were basically like even though i was injured they were also like no like 0.99

00:49:09.580 get in the ambulance bro oh they saved your ass damn yeah what about your based emts exactly exactly 0.99

00:49:15.260 and the and the local police are actually based too because they didn't do anything really to me so 0.99

00:49:20.520 i wound up in the er and i was in the privilege i was in the er for five hours so if you had to if

00:49:27.320 you were watching that event happen like like somebody crashed it bam and you're like oh that

00:49:31.420 guy's drunk and you had to make betting lines on if that guy would get arrested for being drunk or

00:49:36.300 just go to the hospital what would the odds be there getting arrested i would go with like at least

00:49:43.260 like probably minus 500 in the situation that i was in so you were a huge underdog in that moment

00:49:48.760 yeah yeah bet on the underdog i was in the hospital and i was there for so long and i was 0.75

00:49:56.120 like hurry this shit up like i'm fine like please hurry this up because they were waiting on the 0.99

00:50:00.700 results of a ct scan because they have to do that because they can't release you if you have a brain 0.97

00:50:05.680 injury and they're like you can't move your head at all they had me like in a neck brace i was like 0.99

00:50:09.500 fuck you fuck that you're like you're like if i can't angle my head towards the tv to see this to 0.99

00:50:14.600 see the game i'm out of here i didn't have a tv i was i i just had to use my phone 1.00

00:50:18.800 you know in order to have porn to jerk off whatever so i was in there yeah five hours and 0.74

00:50:30.100 waiting on these results even though they said it was going to be like one it was a pretty packed er 0.97

00:50:33.840 because i think a lot of people were like okay wait no more mask mandate everybody was drinking that

00:50:38.080 night so all right i'm not interested in the story i have a question oh but you haven't heard the

00:50:42.960 pissed part of it yet oh wait you lost this a while ago i'm telling you it's your storytelling

00:50:47.800 if you worked on it there's a lot of great content here it's the delivery that's really where it comes 0.99

00:50:53.100 down to yeah it's just you just you take so long and it's so stupid but i uh i wanted to say real 0.80

00:50:58.240 quick like there's this really interesting dynamic that exists between i think all of us but i'll just 0.95

00:51:02.600 speak for myself between myself and you too is that like i love i love the fact that your life is in

00:51:07.960 such disarray because it's so funny to me but i like you so like i don't want it to be

00:51:11.860 fucked up so i'm in this weird paradox where like i want to help you but at the same time i kind of 0.96

00:51:16.620 want to see you kill yourself and it's like how do i how do i balance these interests against each 0.99

00:51:21.120 other like what's better for the show what's better for me i'm so glad usually a comedian has this like 0.99

00:51:26.420 it's like an internal thing going on like where they're self-sabotaging their own life but we're

00:51:31.520 almost self-sabotaging toad because it's comedy gold and it has no effect on my life my life is pretty

00:51:37.260 good i don't know i think it's bullying for him to be better because i don't want him to go down

00:51:41.520 this i agree i roll because what if he is what if he actually gets better jose then i get it okay

00:51:46.620 all right but that's a good point we have two actually i guess we have like three paths we have

00:51:50.280 like he roughly stays about the same somehow finds this balance of despair and keeping it together and

00:51:55.420 somehow keep soldiering through you know uh or he spirals down into a complete despair

00:52:04.300 and that like i thought we'd get great content out of it for the show but a death in the family

00:52:12.160 arc would like devastate us that's like like i really feel like that's like you know that's like 0.97

00:52:17.160 that's like yoko ono fucking up the beatles type shit or we can have a good life together you know 0.96

00:52:22.980 you will find a balance of your despair i don't know so this is the question this is the question 0.99

00:52:31.220 that i had to ask you so i think zen toad we would actually still he might be a little a little less

00:52:37.760 good like like if he got his life together and got like actually got happy i'm like hold his house

00:52:43.360 he has now goes and buys a couple acres get puts a trailer on it in fucking florida lives near the boys 0.96

00:52:48.840 yeah fucking like i think he'd be way happier and i still think he produced decent content i think 0.97

00:52:56.100 it would be awful because you just reminded me zen toad is very similar to sage jose which like 0.99

00:53:01.240 moving into he's moving into sage mode again uh quick plug we're gonna do plugs 1.00

00:53:06.900 that's the best way to get the fuck out of the story don't pray for him mom he's a fucking demon 0.99

00:53:11.640 let's do both no we're going to plug no no no no no i wanted to ask toad a question it's a very 1.00

00:53:20.820 serious question when you're like so when i'm doing something when i'm doing my like uh my art or

00:53:27.280 whatever it is i have some kind of goal in the end you know i'm like i'm gonna do this to get to

00:53:32.720 here to eventually do something when you're betting when you're doing a sports betting is it like i'm

00:53:38.320 gonna make this bet and then like after i do this i'll be like set and that's when i end there's

00:53:44.500 no what is it what do you know what are you after no it's like a job like it's just it's it's an income

00:53:49.780 stream right but you're losing money it's not a job no i'm not i'm not i'm up i'm up uh over 120

00:53:56.320 000 and you're a complete shambles

00:53:59.500 i'm up i think over 120 000 in 16 years something along those lines 16 years within yourself how do

00:54:10.520 you i told you i'm not betting i know but that that means you're making like 8k a year and you're

00:54:14.820 just destroying yourself from the inside out it's a side thing well my uh my i don't know my real job

00:54:20.180 that consumes me

00:54:21.320 dude i taste blood right now when you made me laugh i laughed so violently that i think i coughed up

00:54:31.220 blood and i was gonna 62 50 jesus christ let me let me finish that one more thing make it monthly

00:54:37.760 off this so no that's annually bro okay one more thing that's 500 a month but i was in the hospital

00:54:43.980 this obsession makes like roughly what i make podcasting really yeah i don't he's making

00:54:50.280 fucking 600 a month dude you can literally do anything else and make this like yeah start your 0.89

00:54:56.940 own show so you know you know how much i make at my actual job right now we have no fucking clue i'm 0.99

00:55:03.220 aware but it's all it's all burnt at your book 20 a day no it isn't because i'm i've only i've only

00:55:08.900 lost no it isn't i'm making 600 a month how about this we will give you 20 a day from the patreon if

00:55:15.180 you stop gambling there's no way he would take it there's no way it's not gonna happen man because 0.99

00:55:20.200 i live for this man i live for it i live for it that's the fucking language of an addict all right 0.99

00:55:26.180 hey little dicky is just crunching all kinds of numbers there i know i see what's going on before we 0.99

00:55:30.340 go plug for the love of god we have footage of toad crashing his vehicle car driving on sidewalk if

00:55:35.980 you could please run that video i'd appreciate it yeah we could do that but can i do one more

00:55:39.460 let me say oh my god we're like an hour no real quick about that when i was in the ER when we

00:55:44.280 started this i was like do we have enough content to go for an hour when i was in the ER really just

00:55:48.400 let go so they needed a urine sample right they had to test my piss and i was just run it without 1.00

00:55:54.280 the audio because i had just had a lot to drink obviously so i was something to pay attention my 0.99

00:55:59.800 bladder was full man i didn't feel it look at toad look at toad there's a cop the cop fucking pit 0.98

00:56:05.680 moves him they fucking pit him dude toad's still just like i'm gonna i'm gonna make it to the bookie 0.99

00:56:12.120 before the fucking before the window closes yeah yeah that's not even a cop dude that's just a 0.98

00:56:18.920 like a dude that's his book he's like where's my money at exactly gets out look i'm not even kidding 1.00

00:56:26.440 he gets out and he steals a bag from the fucking car look at this he just gets it yeah motherfucker 1.00

00:56:30.720 man this is uh oh i know this place this is what happens when you don't pay your bets i know yeah 1.00

00:56:36.680 this is in uh this is in the upper east side look see he just grabs a bag wow right toad is

00:56:43.520 bankrupt right now i think scott adams may have been uh onto something yeah this is uh i feel like

00:56:49.360 this just happens i feel like this is just living in manhattan this is just what happens but

00:56:54.300 anyway yeah so i i filled up that entire uh piss thing but they just wanted a sample so here's the

00:57:01.280 thing no no so i was mid i was midstream and i filled up the entire thing which they did not

00:57:07.960 expect at all so i'm like what the fuck am i gonna do here and i'm like telling them like i need 0.89

00:57:12.100 another one right now i'm like ringing the bell like as i'm like doing it and it's starting to

00:57:15.920 like overflow i'm like i need somewhere else so they brought me another one all right plugs yeah so

00:57:21.820 but they what they told me was that i filled up i've i pissed more than two leaders

00:57:27.480 there we go 0.96

00:57:30.660 someone talking all right you guys can hear me all right fucking uh yeah uh i have the no way jose show 0.96

00:57:39.960 uh i've been deep balls deep and like oh cc i just had uncle hotep on the other day that was behind 0.96

00:57:45.040 the paywall to come out here soon uh i had shane cashman episode but i have on the 26th i think

00:57:51.440 in a couple weeks i'm going on part of the problem to talk okc so yeah yeah brother yeah go check out

00:57:56.820 my latest okc episode too that one was a banger it was episode eight where we go in part eight where

00:58:01.460 we go into cancer trying to do uh clint from liberty lockdown tonight i had on adam the lectern guy

00:58:08.240 the oh yeah the smiling guy from fucking january 6th uh josie and i both interviewed him it was 0.97

00:58:13.800 really really fun um and oh yeah on march 24th to the 25th so not far from now i will be in

00:58:20.060 washington state for the lp speaking and then colorado on wednesday march 29th i will be speaking

00:58:25.700 at liberty on the rocks and then the 31st through the 1st of april i will be speaking at lp colorado

00:58:31.620 and then uh and then tennessee uh april 21st through the 22nd i think it's on the 22nd i will

00:58:38.820 be debating destiny on the war in ukraine live in tennessee i really hope you guys make it out to that 0.61

00:58:43.220 and then i'll be in austin the following weekend so come check me out wherever you're at fuck yeah 0.88

00:58:48.220 are you using the uh meme that i made for the uh adam interview oh probably yeah yeah yeah uh kill 1.00

00:58:57.460 kill destiny that's my wife's birthday so just kill that faggot and whatever you're debating them 1.00

00:59:01.640 yeah fuck it because it's your wife's birthday i'll do that hell yeah uh top lobster.com i i'm gonna 1.00

00:59:08.220 be getting on uh working on new stuff um podcast merch.com uh towergang.com probably and uh and a new 0.99

00:59:18.480 conspiracy show or something like that eventually these things are happening pay attention follow me

00:59:24.580 thank you hell yeah towergang toad on twitter uh follow towergang pod everywhere we're on youtube 0.73

00:59:32.400 we're on odyssey rumble and uh subscribe to the patreon for sure at least at the micro penis level 0.70

00:59:39.580 patreon.com slash towergang pod hell yeah yeah and uh press the like button right now there's like 40 0.87

00:59:47.300 something of you here press the like button so that more people can see this shit and uh sign up for this 0.83

00:59:51.920 all right toad more story time tell us another story about your life what other content do we 0.95

00:59:57.420 have let's uh i'll save i'll save some of the stories yeah i'm not gonna lie i really enjoy uh 0.94

01:00:03.520 not so much toad stories they're horrifically bad but i really enjoy just talking shit during them so 0.57

01:00:08.080 like anytime you want to do that i'm good i mean i get to a point where i'm over it though and i'll be 0.61

01:00:11.720 honest that's fair that's fair oh this is great all right play this with the audio please this is

01:00:15.160 actually i mean we should have sued this guy because this is this is like very power gang-esque 1.00

01:00:20.500 this is our shit like patent infringement right here you piece of shit yeah ignore the 0.99

01:00:27.340 construction i'm rebuilding my mansion you'll see when it's done i'll do an episode of cribs 1.00

01:00:31.020 i had to give you this area here is this brand of williams this guy's cool as fuck he's got a 0.98

01:00:36.600 weird shaped body for like anyway right i'm gonna be lit up and shit yeah like he's a jack but he's 0.99

01:00:42.460 great you almost listen he's just got a shitty on twitter 1.00

01:00:45.800 rather have sex with a transsexual which is a legitimate 10 or a woman which is a legitimate 1.00

01:00:52.900 one and everyone's sitting there clicking woman woman woman woman because they think they're 1.00

01:00:56.400 going to be gay if they do anything else but they're not actually thinking about the question 0.94

01:00:59.360 i am so smart i operate on so many levels he's so intelligent he tricked himself into being gay 1.00

01:01:05.440 people are not thinking about the question when i say a one and a 10 i mean megan fox with a dick 1.00

01:01:13.720 or hulk hogan with a pussy that's the girl that's a great question this is the question i'm asking 1.00

01:01:21.960 megan fox yeah so you're thinking well i don't want to be gay so i just clicked the girl the number 1.00

01:01:28.480 one did it you're gonna fuck hulk hogan okay there's a pussy but he's got mustache and muscles 1.00

01:01:33.740 and shit all hairy big dude six foot five yeah pretty gay to me that sounds pretty gay i don't 1.00

01:01:39.740 care that is gay i i i he's got a dick but maybe you can like scoot it i don't know man i think 1.00

01:01:46.080 scoot it scoot it in this case i think i would go hold up i want to hear him mess her up 1.00

01:01:51.880 you ain't messing up hulk hogan hogan's gonna mess you up this is the question i'm asking you need

01:01:57.220 to operate on a higher plane think about this this is important this is cultural that's where we now

01:02:03.740 live in what is straight it's all a big sliding spectrum isn't it because if you're gonna sit 1.00

01:02:08.860 here and go oh no no it's gay to bang folks with a dick i counter that argument it's gay to bang 1.00

01:02:13.500 hulk hogan with a pussy okay now so this man with a pussy this man is such a visionary he has like 1.00

01:02:21.160 these other ones like that i was watching he was talking about he really is on another plane it's 1.00

01:02:26.140 cultural it is cultural well he was saying some shit like about like you cooking for yourself and 0.95

01:02:32.100 how that's like poor mentality and i always thought like oh it's cool and then he he actually breaks it 0.97

01:02:36.520 down he's like you take the onion chop it up and i was like god damn man he's right it's like when 0.99

01:02:42.120 was the last time you cooked for yourself clint actually i cook for myself a lot i do you poor bitch 1.00

01:02:47.260 we're single men so we do it by the way he's such a visionary he came up with our exact concept that 0.84

01:02:55.940 we came up with months ago and he did it wrong because he chose megan fox as his like hottest 0.80

01:03:01.700 woman alive basically i'm like what the fuck is wrong 2019 have you seen something real quick real 0.93

01:03:06.360 quick all right so when i was making like crazy money when i was running my mortgage company i had 0.87

01:03:11.220 this girl from my volleyball squad who was like a personal personal trainer no she was like a model 1.00

01:03:17.120 gorgeous girl but she uh she made me meals because i like the main the main reason i cook for myself is

01:03:22.940 because you just can't get healthy food delivered like it just it's very challenging so the reason

01:03:26.300 that's that's why i do it like if i could do it and and you know still eat healthy i probably would so

01:03:30.620 that's what i did with this girl she was for 10 bucks per meal she would cook me my entire week's 1.00

01:03:35.220 worth of meals so for like whatever that is 200 and something bucks she would send me all my 0.85

01:03:39.400 fucking meals and he's like pre-packed and they were fucking great so yeah i guess i agree i mean 0.95

01:03:43.000 it is obviously poor mentality if you're ever like doing anything for yourself it's kind of poor 0.99

01:03:46.380 yeah then he said he said some other shit like uh if you buy like a water bottle like people that 0.98

01:03:52.560 hold water bottles in their hands instead of like taking the water bottle drinking it if you're 0.99

01:03:56.220 walking around with it he's like that this is like bitch shit and i was like damn i walk around 1.00

01:03:59.960 with the water bottle all the time because i might be thirsty now but also thirsty later but he was 0.99

01:04:04.040 like if you're thirsty now drink the water and then you won't be thirsty later i'm like god damn man this guy 0.99

01:04:08.380 might have like a point i like i had to reevaluate my whole life he's saying really simplistic shit 1.00

01:04:14.200 but like in a in a way that comes across as profound when it's really not and you're just like holy fuck 0.94

01:04:20.000 he sounds like all the orthodox christians that that went post-libertarian where he's just like 0.98

01:04:24.900 they're just throwing metaphors at the wall that don't really mean anything

01:04:28.520 that's at least that's how i feel about it it's yeah it's just word salad basically although he is

01:04:33.020 technically i would say he is correct about the fact that it is it is as we've decided multiple 1.00

01:04:38.460 times here it's gayer to fuck a person who looks exactly like a man even though they have a pussy 1.00

01:04:44.540 than it is to fuck somebody who looks like a woman in every way except for the fact they have a dick 1.00

01:04:50.160 all right very good really covered that exact subject we have talked about like the pussy being uh 1.00

01:04:55.840 like erasing all gay right like in some form or fashion well i think that i think the the most 1.00

01:05:02.420 profound thing he said there if i if i do say so myself was that fucking hulk hogan if he had a pussy 1.00

01:05:10.300 would still be pretty gay and i i found that to be eye-opening right yeah that that was a good 1.00

01:05:18.540 example the hulk hogan one because he is yeah a six five jacked dude like very manly a man in every way 0.98

01:05:25.800 have you ever so ugly that you felt gay after because i haven't what about china like you 1.00

01:05:30.340 remember china i'd fuck some ugly chicks and no shame so never felt gay what about china yeah see 1.00

01:05:37.480 china's a good one like i would feel fucking gay i don't think i've fucked any masculine chicks though 1.00

01:05:42.180 like you know they're like but i've fucked some patties yeah we did we did buck angel versus blair 0.99

01:05:50.240 white is i think what we did yeah i'd be really worried like to eat out china because i think that 0.99

01:05:55.460 like she would just like absolutely like make my head pop by squeezing it between her thighs 1.00

01:06:00.780 listen up mcmahon if you don't put your fucking cock between my keister cheeks i'm gonna be out of 1.00

01:06:06.560 here and that kind of scares me yeah but then megan fox with a penis is like it is it's so feminine 1.00

01:06:14.100 it's like it's like a blair white sort of thing this is the same it's a blair white question i get 1.00

01:06:17.960 what he's saying but she's not very hot blair white's hot and you would kill yourself to fuck her 1.00

01:06:22.620 you like no megan megan fox is not hot i don't know not really my type i could see being clint's 1.00

01:06:27.320 type i mean she's objectively pretty megan fox when she was younger was unbelievable pull up a picture 0.99

01:06:32.400 of her thumbnails i don't yeah pull up her thumbs she isn't like my ideal or even like in the top of 1.00

01:06:38.560 it but like she's objectively pretty like yeah because she's she's not fat we get it yeah i don't

01:06:45.260 know she's a twig and she's kind of like i don't know to me she's like an eight maybe like a nine 1.00

01:06:51.500 depending on context but she's like putting her as like peacock being like who's a 10 who's a 10 0.99

01:06:57.800 to you jose how fat how fat is this bitch i'd have to think about that one for a minute um 1.00

01:07:02.620 what a 10 would be for me i'll come back to you in that one that's would you rather 0.99

01:07:06.820 yeah look at that what is that uh what is going on there yeah i don't i don't know what's going on 0.99

01:07:14.280 there i can deal with it like it looks like she got the tip of her fingers cut off i that's fucking 1.00

01:07:19.760 i'd make i'd make her wear gloves you're not giving me a hand job with those things those are 0.99

01:07:24.920 you're not putting any restrictions on her at all please stop oh i am no you're not yeah for me as a

01:07:32.060 deal breaker clint i listen i know i believe you yeah that's just weird stuff right there it's like

01:07:38.420 hobbit hands i don't like that no no no yeah all right what else this is an interesting one from benzo

01:07:44.000 she says blair white now over megan fox now i you know look i think blair white is actually just 1.00

01:07:49.720 like conventionally more attractive at this stage however however i'm still going megan fox now 0.98

01:07:54.720 absolutely yeah if blair white actually had a vagina i think she'd be more attractive like you know 1.00

01:07:59.320 overall to megan fox in my opinion now how about this blair white blair white now or uh yeah blair 1.00

01:08:06.780 white now or megan fox in her prime because i i'd give megan fox the edge there that's the 1.00

01:08:12.500 blair white with a penis which is now or laura looma laura loomer oh yo i'm fucking i'm fucking 0.99

01:08:20.180 anyone definitely definitely like she doesn't have one i don't know i love it yo laura loomer looks 1.00

01:08:28.020 fucked up dog how about this though blair white blair white is hotter than megan fox but it's gayer 1.00

01:08:35.240 to fox blair uh to fuck blair white than it is to fuck to fuck me i'd rather fuck megan fox than 1.00

01:08:40.520 blair white but if blair white had a pussy i'd rather fuck blair white yeah that's what i'm 1.00

01:08:44.400 saying yeah so would you would you fuck blair white right now with the butthole and she probably has 1.00

01:08:49.520 little testes and all that or laura loomer who probably we think probably does have a i guess 1.00

01:08:54.820 they're both a story so i guess i go loomer toads already oh that's horrific i don't know man that 0.94

01:09:00.660 that's a tough one i don't want to fuck blair white picture of laura loomer today please pull it up 0.99

01:09:04.940 i want you to look at this face and you tell me you would fuck that her face looks like it's made 1.00

01:09:09.920 out of clay or something this is actually a really good question because it's like where is the where 0.99

01:09:15.800 that's a good picture of her that's not what she looks like loomer like currently no she looks like 0.99

01:09:21.960 jose you're being deceived i know what you're talking about she does look rough like but like 1.00

01:09:26.140 i'd still take her just because she actually has a vagina over her head looks like a motherfucking 1.00

01:09:30.820 octagon well this is like this is like the really interesting conundrum where it's like you take 0.99

01:09:35.440 the real hot tranny how little dicky i sent the picture in the chat just pull up that picture of 1.00

01:09:40.800 how ugly does does a woman have to be to want to fuck the really hot tranny over the woman 1.00

01:09:48.400 that's the question it's the loomer threshold man i don't know i can't really put it put a heart 1.00

01:09:56.600 like where but look at his fucking head dude she's 29 that's a 29 year old woman allegedly please no 1.00

01:10:04.480 i would rather fuck roger stone 1.00

01:10:07.200 she looks like a wax statue of a i said her head looks like an octagon tell me i didn't fucking nail 1.00

01:10:19.000 that it does she looks like the shit that that like sits on your chest if you're having one of 1.00

01:10:22.800 those like those dreams of sleep paralysis dreams yeah yeah tricky dick on the back i'd shoot my 1.00

01:10:28.640 fucking ropes all over tricky dick's face she's the boogey man yeah that's funny holy shit i i might 1.00

01:10:36.200 actually fuck mike pence over laura loomer in that picture jesus or wait roger stone is that who it 1.00

01:10:42.200 was i don't even know roger that was mike pence you retired i wasn't paying attention we got anything 0.99

01:10:47.080 else i was looking at his back i think we had a few more videos we wanted to play uh we have some 0.98

01:10:51.980 other videos we had uh what else do we have we had oh my god the jussie smell it shit bring that 1.00

01:10:57.820 one up that one's fucking amazing we had just we had the uh trans woman uh if you want to call it 0.98

01:11:04.720 that and i think we already covered the trans thing yeah well well the wheelchair really but i didn't 0.95

01:11:10.040 really care about this is great though all right run it yeah so this is the yeah this is where

01:11:16.040 we waited for jussie to come before we attacked them so we got here with 10 minutes to spare 0.61

01:11:24.100 and we had to plan our escape to survey the land pause this building is actually right here get your 1.00

01:11:31.400 shit together i call bullshit there's no way fucking two black men were there early impossible 1.00

01:11:36.160 but it was they were early as opposed to a gay black man so i i think they probably they said early 1.00

01:11:44.500 but it was late but he was later so that's right he was paying them 3500 a pop so maybe they were on 0.99

01:11:49.920 i still don't believe it yeah fuck little dicky for ruining the timing of that joke so these guys are 0.99

01:11:55.240 the real guys right yeah yeah they're the nigerian brothers that fucking roughed him up and they 1.00

01:12:01.900 describe it right now it's fucking hilarious bro yeah yeah this is ridiculous yeah go ahead 0.98

01:12:06.420 right above the stairs that we're going to attack him at we made sure we got there at 2 a.m 0.96

01:12:13.260 sharp on the dot on the dot we had no phones because he did not want us to bring any phones

01:12:19.300 he said so we don't lose them i don't know if that's really the reason it's got to get rid of the

01:12:24.280 gps baby so 2 a.m pause it you know that a black man knows that he knows that that phone is tracking 0.56

01:12:32.160 him so he knows when he's going to go to commit a crime he's not going to bring his phone you think

01:12:35.460 black people know things about gps i think you're over analyzing it i think he's just like 0.98

01:12:40.380 damn it i got my obama phone i got no clue 0.99

01:12:46.200 look at it look at it fucking loving black people well one of the guys looks like uh omar epps or 1.00

01:12:55.140 something dude looks cool dude looks cool as fuck the one these guys look cool as fuck right 0.99

01:12:59.880 i i want to be dude i want to be friends with these guys i want to hire i want to hire them 0.98

01:13:04.460 not gonna happen i want to hire them to perpetrate a hate crime on me 0.83

01:13:08.100 they're not black they're ever gonna i believe they were on time all right fair 0.99

01:13:12.900 oh all right it was nowhere to be found he was not there so we were like damn what do we do 0.80

01:13:19.900 who we didn't have no way of contacting him he had no way of contacting us so we waited here for 0.75

01:13:25.440 about what four minutes about four minutes but it felt like forever because it was cold as balls

01:13:32.720 i saw him out the corner of my eye and i was like okay that's him let's go it's like hard

01:13:39.200 listen to this yeah that's him that's him is that him that's that man does he really walk like that

01:13:45.640 listen fast come on let's get him get that nigga let's get him as we cross the street we said hey 0.99

01:13:52.300 to get his attention hey nigga hey he turned around looked at us and that's when we started yelling 0.98

01:14:00.160 uh the famous slurs he wanted us to yell hey aren't you that empire empire it's mega country 0.90

01:14:10.960 and he said what did you say to me and then that's when i threw the first punch at him

01:14:16.720 i held the blow because i didn't want to hurt him of course so i made it look real but i held it

01:14:23.920 and we started tussling moving moving around and then i threw him to the ground he wanted it to

01:14:29.820 look like he fought back that was very important for him because he said hey don't you like energy

01:14:35.500 so demeaning make it look like i'm fighting back and whatnot so we did that and then i threw him to

01:14:40.880 the ground and while after i threw him to the ground i he had no bruise i wanted it to look more

01:14:46.600 real so then i threw him to the ground after i threw him to the ground i had to put a noose around him

01:14:51.740 and gave him a noogie so i went

01:14:53.920 why did i do that to give him a scar to give him a mark to make it look real like he really did get 0.96

01:15:02.800 his ass beat after i did that i fake kicked him i don't know what he was doing i wasn't paying 0.90

01:15:08.460 attention that's where i came around with the bleach the infamous bleach in the hot sauce bottle 0.99

01:15:13.840 poured it on his shirt and i finally put the rope around his face i did not put it around his neck

01:15:20.120 you could take it on his face and that's when we took off

01:15:23.180 i love how demeaning their energy is about delivering that entirely 1.00

01:15:31.540 this fucking faggot 1.00

01:15:33.740 they didn't even they didn't mention uh the subway sandwich or the noose there i'm kind of 1.00

01:15:38.840 disappointed yeah he was supposed to be getting subway or something i'm i'm such a conspiracy

01:15:42.700 theorist now that i now that i like after all this i believe jesse smollett now like that's how

01:15:48.180 fucked up my pattern of thinking is like they're too good at all real now yeah this is it might have 0.85

01:15:55.420 been real no you know what man props to these guys because they're good actors like they were they

01:15:59.740 were able to play that first role and then they like lied about it and now they're doing this is

01:16:04.200 like legitimate comedy and they're doing it for fox news it's incredible it's amazing i just wish it 0.97

01:16:08.760 was uncensored and by the way uh juicy jussie whatever the fuck juicy jussie is he in jail 0.90

01:16:15.140 he's still in jail he might be i don't know he got 10 days dude dude oh okay yeah dude you don't 0.95

01:16:20.180 you don't think he was a good actor man in mighty ducks jussie smollett was in mighty ducks yeah man 0.98

01:16:26.100 holy shit yeah i had no idea my childhood baby there was a black there was a black kid in a hockey 0.99

01:16:33.040 movie there were two right the two black brothers well that was fucking yeah obviously fictitious 1.00

01:16:38.500 you guys remember the uh lou rockwell got like well the thing he gets shit for recent or for 0.97

01:16:45.140 like the most is an article he wrote about the mighty ducks yeah that was that was his whole point 0.99

01:16:50.920 was like we're all these fucking mexican and black kids in a hockey team like this doesn't make any 0.99

01:16:56.160 goddamn sense look at this fucking bullshit they're pushing on us in the culture and it's like i mean 1.00

01:17:01.220 you're kind of right yeah he's right and look at what it turned into great comedy all the way at the 1.00

01:17:07.120 end this fucking skit so is this is this skit supposed to be like a whole documentary yeah 0.96

01:17:12.000 they did like an hour hour doc on it i have no idea why you would need to dedicate an hour to this but 0.98

01:17:16.360 yeah that's plenty right there i want to see the whole thing i don't know that's jussie wow

01:17:21.300 oh he's ugly it all there yeah looks like kendrick lamar you gotta run into the right director yet

01:17:27.460 he looks like kendrick lamar today 0.98

01:17:29.020 what did jose say he said he didn't run into the right director yet he's not gay there yet 0.64

01:17:36.680 gangster dude do you think that's like that's like kind of a prerequisite as a child start to 0.99

01:17:44.320 like actually climb the ranks you just gotta yeah oh you gotta climb that dick oh that's that's so 0.99

01:17:50.840 fucked up i mean i'm not saying every director and every you know but like you get no i think i think 0.99

01:17:58.440 you are saying that that's fine like it's probably yeah whatever i think literally every director 1.00

01:18:02.080 has little boys suck their penises yeah do you think steven spielberg was like like hitting up 1.00

01:18:07.540 the entire et cast yeah fucking et doll yeah dude dude he was getting including et yeah exactly 1.00

01:18:15.020 you know the famous puppeteer what was that dude telling you on your show clinton he was like that 0.96

01:18:20.360 that he met steven spielberg and and he told him that like et was like the secret behind et is

01:18:25.700 oh no ronald reagan said it that et is actually real it's based on a real story yeah reagan reagan was 0.93

01:18:30.880 like like people are all watching this thinking it's a movie but this shit is all real that's 0.98

01:18:35.520 what ronald reagan the president united states that is crazy crazy i believe it that that was 0.94

01:18:42.180 actually his star wars program we're at like an hour 20 i don't know if this is a good spot for y'all

01:18:47.200 i mean we don't really have anything else to cover except for one lame-ass hockey video that i thought

01:18:50.980 was mildly humorous i think we had uh the wheelchair and or the yeah what else oh yeah that's that's

01:18:57.920 what you're talking about and we had the uh the syringe one those are the other ones oh yeah that

01:19:02.380 was all right i guess i don't know i think oh this is pretty funny i forgot all right let's play this 0.93

01:19:06.880 let's go on this whatever the fuck this is this is yeah kind of ridiculous i'm doing great 0.99

01:19:11.720 what's that if i had like an infinite budget this is the type of shit i would do 0.99

01:19:17.200 yeah what are you doing out here today nothing just come out here to say hi to somebody just came 0.98

01:19:31.420 out here to say hi to somebody yeah that somebody's me those are pictures of me as a child

01:19:36.760 so you're gonna need a child huh oh you're here to meet a child no i knew you were at least immediately

01:19:44.280 if you don't stand here dual interview with us i love this okay does that sound fair fair all right

01:19:50.580 have you ever done this before no i haven't this is the first time you've ever tried to meet it's

01:19:55.380 always the first time really it's in a blizzard the newlywed game you had to get three out of five

01:20:00.800 of these questions correctly we're gonna call police okay in 2017 the philadelphia eagles

01:20:08.560 what record what was that i have no idea you have no idea that's one strike that's one question you

01:20:14.940 got incorrectly who starred in the film i want to know titanic

01:20:19.840 and um i don't know the lady's name i don't know that's correct he got one

01:20:27.240 oh he got that they gave they let him go with just leo give me a high five he got one of them

01:20:31.920 right all right it's a nice wet in the middle of the snowstorm we've been calling the cops on you

01:20:37.240 today can you name a quarterback in nfl history

01:20:41.880 joe namins joe namins i'll take that that was a freebie baby 0.99

01:20:47.720 what was the name of the dog no idea oh man oh shit he didn't see up 0.98

01:20:54.400 he didn't see up that's two questions correct and two incorrect i dude i don't i don't one 0.99

01:21:00.960 more correct what is the age of consent in utah

01:21:05.900 wow he got that one right 0.63

01:21:09.180 maybe rethink your life a little bit huh maybe stop trying to meet children for sex man 0.53

01:21:14.860 i wouldn't be meeting him i was gonna see how old he was really

01:21:18.240 yeah no you won't see how old he was yeah right yeah you're not fooling anybody i know i was gonna

01:21:24.960 see how old he was yeah well your face is gonna be out here you're gonna be online people are gonna

01:21:29.240 know oh my god that was so great i love it oh my god like every time i see something dope like this 0.74

01:21:38.880 i'm like why the fuck isn't tower gang doing this like this should be we should be we should have 0.86

01:21:43.040 yeah the man on the street yeah i know i know we need money to do it give us money sign up for 0.94

01:21:49.400 our patreon so we can keep bugging lewis gomez

01:21:52.640 no money to do what that guy just did yeah we don't need money to go talk to somebody on the street

01:21:59.420 yeah none of us did it guys before we sign off uh speaking of the age of consent stuff clint you had

01:22:05.940 a very interesting debate the other day oh i love it yeah what happened i i got really mad

01:22:13.700 bro you just don't understand in an anarchist society like consent is just this vague concept 1.00

01:22:18.800 that's not what i was saying you can't hold my jock you fucking pussy i love it i got i got so heated 1.00

01:22:25.420 i had to like literally go pace around because i got an adrenaline spike and my heart started to 1.00

01:22:29.960 pound like i was ready to fight i haven't been that angry since i was in my 20s dude it was it was

01:22:34.220 crazy i was so mad i was like it was my favorite thing ever i know every it was funny because like

01:22:39.220 i think everyone everyone listening understood why it was so infuriating so like no one's actually 0.96

01:22:44.240 upset with me for doing it but i'm upset with myself i'm upset that i let some fucking whatever 0.99

01:22:48.880 the fuck that dude is get under my skin so i will i will say like so far as tactically speaking 0.97

01:22:54.460 like you going so aggro kind of put yourself at a point where like you kind of left an open uh like 1.00

01:23:02.440 like weakness area to like of course if he if he had actually came but if he had been a reasonable

01:23:06.600 like at arguing at all even with already being super fallacious and shitty before oh he's like 0.98

01:23:11.960 if he had railed it in a little bit it would have made you look like the asshole but so you just 0.98

01:23:17.280 he kept double down double exactly yeah one of the best thing i forgot where i was going with this 1.00

01:23:23.500 that's because you were going nowhere bitch 1.00

01:23:25.560 that's funny that was probably my my favorite quick retort i will say i think you did well 0.97

01:23:34.980 i think you did well overall but i like i said i listened to in the morning i said just wasn't mean 0.99

01:23:40.880 enough this wasn't a debate where like my debate you like we bought facts and the guy was an idiot but 0.86

01:23:47.900 he wasn't like awful he was just dumb yeah and this kid was this guy was awful he was calling you 1.00

01:23:55.140 yeah he was a liar yeah like yeah you just like you needed to like just really cut him deep and then 0.99

01:24:02.240 after you cut him deep you keep cutting and when you get to the bone you keep cutting the bone 0.96

01:24:06.260 until you get some marrow i actually don't think that guy was disingenuous i think he genuinely 0.99

01:24:10.160 believed the dumb shit he was saying like no i bought himself into that maybe so maybe so but 0.98

01:24:15.280 here's here's the reality like his like even if i just were to play it like pure debate style he 1.00

01:24:23.000 still he was so bad like he couldn't even extrapolate his own ideology into like the next

01:24:28.080 layer of thinking it was like it was like i was dealing with someone who had never even considered

01:24:32.240 the libertarian worldview and these people are the ones that are all upset that what i said to him

01:24:37.020 it's crazy what i said to you guys and this is like the most apt like view of what it is is like he

01:24:41.660 is the result of what happens if you're just some like normie who gets involved in party politics

01:24:46.460 and you don't read a goddamn lick of theory it's a great point he's exactly what happens 0.55

01:24:50.000 he had not watched any of the things that you were discussing either he's gone gassed up by all his 0.96

01:24:55.940 so-called accomplishments in party politics which probably amount to literally nothing and being

01:25:00.840 part of this group and that thinks my interview with ryan dawson my interview with ryan dawson i didn't

01:25:05.320 make any jokes about jewish people so like he just lied through his teeth that he had even watched it

01:25:09.740 he's like well i didn't i didn't want to watch i watched it a long time ago oh i didn't actually

01:25:13.160 watch oh i mean i watched it but like i do i only wanted to watch it as little as possible oh well 0.99

01:25:17.160 i watched it just up until you made that jewish joke and it's like motherfucker that none of that 0.98

01:25:20.720 happened he just threw his teeth lying and i was like i just want to go no i think i think he was 0.98

01:25:26.560 talking about the tower gang uh ryan dawson holocaust revision episode great episode go watch that one

01:25:32.600 i'm surprised it doesn't get brought up more often like as many people try to come for us it's like you

01:25:38.000 guys really just aren't doing your homework but all right whatever no that that was one of our top

01:25:42.380 episodes too top watched episode i was the only one who was funny in it yeah well all right guys

01:25:48.160 let's get the fuck out of here go check out our holocaust revision in the episode that's right and 0.94

01:25:53.380 i will say jonathan casey is a faggot oh yeah we all evergate evergate's asking me about the debate uh 0.99

01:25:58.920 jonathan casey was the the debate guy it's uh it's on my page it was like three days ago so just scroll 0.99

01:26:04.400 through my feed i don't tweet very often so you'll see it in there and you can listen to it

01:26:07.580 all right hugs and kisses bitches we out of here uh if you want to support our work go over to 1.00

01:26:13.460 patreon.com tower gang pod i think it's a tower gang pod.com too tower gang pod.com goes to the 0.98

01:26:21.520 link tree yes oh dope yeah all that shit yeah and uh i hope cole's son is feeling better that's why 0.85

01:26:27.900 he's not here tonight although if his son is not better it would give him a lot more time for the show 0.97

01:26:32.600 cole's son his son got zika yeah he's got that shrunken head it's really uh it's really 0.92

01:26:39.200 i did that thought did did cross my mind and i was like i'm not gonna make the joke because god

01:26:45.560 forbid something does happen god forbid right yeah i know he made so many toad kill himself jokes in my

01:26:51.140 head i'm like if he actually kills himself like no you must stay alive like if if cole's son were to 0.89

01:26:57.820 pass like is there i mean is there a soul to be lost there i mean what time limit look at the

01:27:04.420 color of his hair man when are we allowed to make jokes how many episodes to pass like half

01:27:10.180 oh my god before we make that

01:27:11.900 yeah what's the statute of limitations yeah dead sons i think it's the intro of the next episode i

01:27:22.000 would i would just i would just refuse to let him on the show for like a couple months because

01:27:25.260 there's no way there's no way you guys could treat him properly i think it's immediately when

01:27:29.840 it happens don't come back until we're allowed to make fun of your dead son 0.99

01:27:33.560 the fuck out of here follow cole he's oh i i have the redhead libertarian upset with me for 1.00

01:27:41.020 making a ginger joke not just a ginger joke but a ginger dead baby joke that's like and that's a 0.99

01:27:46.640 trifecta sorry i told you stop watching this show i don't know why you keep showing up

01:27:51.580 this is crazy i'm embarrassed all right guys peace out love you 0.93

01:27:55.140 it's the tower power hour slut 1.00

01:27:58.420 no way jose liberty lockdown 0.98

01:28:02.500 clint bitch reed coal top lobster and toad tower gang tower gang tower gang tower gang tower gang 0.99

01:28:14.340 tower gang tower gang tower gang tower gang liberty lock is truth say same with lobster cole and jose 0.95

01:28:20.200 toad is sick no way jose the tower power hour slug they made day spent all his power gang tower gang tower 0.57

01:28:26.500 gang tower gang tower gang tower gang tower gang tower gang tower gang tower gang tower gang tower gang

01:28:32.280 they speak courage you sped sped more than rogan you fed you fed truth bomb weather tim cast hotep

01:28:38.260 hotep more offensive l-o-s no disrespect more offensive than l-s no disrespect yes i am redhead libertarian

01:28:45.260 is their best friend unless they get raided then they never met never met none of this should be new 0.87

01:28:49.980 to me truly clint is a sexual brute to me sorry no booster seat get them tall boots on you not admit 0.99

01:28:54.820 fuck every podcast that won't stoop to me libertarian won't be the same day revolutiony that's a word 1.00

01:28:59.780 i miss grammar sending to rhyme dubitably that to promote myself on their shot stupidly comedy 0.99

01:29:05.140 philosophy mark random.com user free random i'm single lady so please choose a meet

01:29:09.800 they scream tower gang worldwide tower gang tower gang rise together we will overthrow

01:29:14.680 okay taba gang taba gang tower gang tower gang tower gang liberty lock is truth say same with

01:29:22.320 lobster cull and jose toad is sick no way jose if you read i ride jose with jose pay me dates

01:29:30.100 with all his fame taba gang taba gang taba gang taba gang taba gang taba gang pailed me 0.95

01:29:34.920 It's so fucking hard to line up the syllables, you know. 0.96

Tower Gang - March 21, 2023

Ep 114 - Balance of Despair

Episode Stats

Summary

Transcript