Tower Gang - Ep 115 - Chicken Washers

00:00:00.000 It would just remind me of Toad a bit. 0.71

00:00:03.300 What's up, retards? 1.00

00:00:05.300 I'm trying to start a cult here, baby. 1.00

00:00:06.600 So I can only fit a third of my dick into Toad's... 1.00

00:00:10.300 ...mussy. 1.00

00:00:11.800 Mussy. 1.00

00:00:12.300 You wanna kill me or you wanna give me a boner? 1.00

00:00:14.300 I don't know. 1.00

00:00:15.800 When I say fuck the Jews, it means I'm horny. 1.00

00:00:18.800 Woe is me, I'm retarded. 1.00

00:00:21.000 Any of you guys ever had the mythical where they put the whole thing in and then do that shit where they're like, 0.99

00:00:26.000 The three of you had a threesome of some kind. 1.00

00:00:28.700 I was watching it and jerking off. 1.00

00:00:33.500 Fuck the ass! 1.00

00:00:35.500 Toad's on fire! 1.00

00:00:36.500 She was a 10 in real life, she's like a dead 8.

00:00:41.500 Lewis, you're like a brother to me.

00:00:43.000 Donald Trump, come on Tower Gang.

00:00:45.000 Tower Gang is the most offensive podcast. 1.00

00:00:47.500 Fat Dave, fuck you, man. 1.00

00:00:55.500 It's not what this show is about. 1.00

00:00:56.500 This shit is retarded. 1.00

00:00:57.500 It's retarded. 1.00

00:01:01.300 Welcome, everybody. 0.93

00:01:02.300 It's Wednesday.

00:01:03.300 You know what that means. 0.99

00:01:04.300 Hide the blacks. 1.00

00:01:05.300 Hide the Jews. 1.00

00:01:06.300 We're fucking running around here like a bunch of white racists. 1.00

00:01:08.300 Are you ready to rock? 1.00

00:01:09.300 As always, we got the most racist man who's ever been brown. 0.98

00:01:12.300 Mr. Top Lobster. 0.98

00:01:13.300 Top Lobster.

00:01:14.300 We got Toad, a.k.a.

00:01:17.100 Tower Gang Toad.

00:01:18.100 Make sure you follow him on Twitter.

00:01:19.100 It's the only thing keeping him alive.

00:01:21.100 We got Fat Comic Dave, a.k.a.

00:01:24.100 Cole.

00:01:25.100 What's up, brother? 1.00

00:01:26.100 Jacked like a motherfucker. 1.00

00:01:27.100 We're obsessed with the gym now. 1.00

00:01:27.900 Went from being a fat midget to a jacked midget. 0.95

00:01:29.900 And then we got Mr. 0.81

00:01:31.500 Jose Galesan, the original jacked midget. 1.00

00:01:33.900 That's true.

00:01:34.900 That's true.

00:01:35.900 I am all aspires to, and I've already gotten too lazy to keep up with.

00:01:38.900 The host of No Way Jose, Mr. Jose Galesan.

00:01:42.900 What's up, Mr.

00:01:44.100 Tower Gang, Jose.

00:01:45.100 Thank you for joining us.

00:01:46.100 Also, it's good to be back.

00:01:47.100 I missed last week, and it was sad, but.

00:01:49.100 It is sad, dude.

00:01:50.100 I almost thought about joining from the ER, but I was like, my wife might get mad about 1.00

00:01:54.700 that, and the nurses might throw us out for saying racist comments, but. 0.80

00:01:57.900 Liz needs to get with the program, though. 1.00

00:02:00.300 Like, this is once a week for like an hour and a half.

00:02:02.900 She's got to, you know, find a way to be able to let you make time for this. 0.98

00:02:05.900 I don't think it's asking a whole lot.

00:02:06.900 Does she realize how low you are on PTO time?

00:02:10.900 That's true.

00:02:11.900 Dangerously low.

00:02:12.900 No, it's 100.

00:02:13.900 Oh, I think about my actual job, because I'm a low on that, too. 0.99

00:02:16.900 I had to take like two days off last week, and I was like, damn. 0.94

00:02:19.900 I don't have enough PTO for all this. 0.96

00:02:20.900 Don't you work from home?

00:02:21.900 Yeah, but I mean, like, I'm an honorable man.

00:02:25.900 Oh, you actually work?

00:02:26.900 Wow.

00:02:27.900 Yeah, I mean, sometimes.

00:02:28.900 It's very difficult for Cole to be in the ER and not put N-I-G-G before it. 1.00

00:02:33.900 I really can't believe you complained about running out of PTO when you work from home. 0.99

00:02:38.900 Like, who gives a fuck? 0.99

00:02:40.900 I feel bad. 0.99

00:02:42.900 I feel like I am.

00:02:43.900 I don't know.

00:02:44.900 I'm morally.

00:02:45.900 If you run out of PTOs, it's kind of like you could just be like, well, this is what I'm

00:02:50.900 doing.

00:02:51.900 What are you going to do?

00:02:52.900 What are you going to do?

00:02:53.900 Stop me?

00:02:54.900 Go to my house?

00:02:55.900 Did you actually have to do something else?

00:02:57.900 Like, were you sick?

00:02:58.900 I don't understand.

00:02:59.900 How do you pull off from home?

00:03:00.900 I took off the next day after my son was in the ER just because, like, I don't know.

00:03:03.900 I just didn't want to work.

00:03:04.900 And so I was like, I'm going to take the call.

00:03:06.900 And so I could have just said I was working because I was at home, and I did get a couple

00:03:11.900 calls, but I didn't do anything.

00:03:13.900 Like... 1.00

00:03:14.900 I hate all you motherfuckers. 1.00

00:03:16.900 I'm a true capitalist because I even try to work for the man as hard as I can. 1.00

00:03:21.900 You know what?

00:03:22.900 Why do you hate us?

00:03:23.900 It's hard not to hate you.

00:03:24.900 You can't hate us.

00:03:25.900 Maybe I just wish I was fired over the vax. 1.00

00:03:28.900 Dude, fucking leave. 1.00

00:03:30.900 You can quit! 1.00

00:03:31.900 Just leave! 1.00

00:03:32.900 You can quit and he got me!

00:03:33.900 What?!

00:03:35.900 It is the craziest thing.

00:03:37.900 But then I don't blame.

00:03:38.900 I cannot take you seriously when you're like, you guys just got so good. 0.99

00:03:41.900 Fucking... 0.99

00:03:42.900 Like, I just hate my life. 1.00

00:03:43.900 Everything sucks. 0.99

00:03:44.900 He literally was complaining today about his commute that is nine miles and takes two 0.99

00:03:50.900 hours.

00:03:51.900 Yep.

00:03:52.900 And I was like, leave.

00:03:53.900 Leave Boston. 0.96

00:03:54.900 It's the fuck out. 0.99

00:03:55.900 Like, you don't have to be there. 0.98

00:03:57.900 And he was like, I had to commute two hours both ways on public transit.

00:04:02.900 I can understand why you'd be suicidal.

00:04:04.900 Don't do that.

00:04:05.900 No excuse.

00:04:06.900 That's the most frustrating part.

00:04:07.900 Like, I could understand.

00:04:08.900 Like, Top.

00:04:09.900 Like, Top.

00:04:10.900 He moved.

00:04:11.900 And that was, like, incredibly...

00:04:12.900 Top has a family.

00:04:13.900 Yeah.

00:04:14.900 He's brown.

00:04:15.900 He has no money.

00:04:16.900 Like, if he was still in Boston and he was, like...

00:04:17.900 His credit score is brown.

00:04:18.900 Yeah.

00:04:19.900 If he was still in Boston and bitching, kind of, sort of like Toad does, I would be... 0.83

00:04:23.900 I'd be more sympathetic.

00:04:24.900 Like, I get it, dude.

00:04:25.900 Your family's there.

00:04:26.900 It's hard.

00:04:27.900 Like, so much logistics to, like, this and that.

00:04:29.900 Like, it's a...

00:04:30.900 My family is here.

00:04:31.900 But, look... 1.00

00:04:32.900 Fuck your family! 1.00

00:04:33.900 Your family hates you, Toad. 1.00

00:04:34.900 You're mid-40s. 0.96

00:04:35.900 They told us.

00:04:36.900 I'm not a...

00:04:37.900 I'm not a...

00:04:38.900 Jose keeps increasing our age.

00:04:40.900 I'm in my late 40s.

00:04:42.900 Toad is in his mid-40s. 0.99

00:04:44.900 What the fuck are you doing? 0.99

00:04:45.900 Dude, I'm not a... 1.00

00:04:46.900 I'm not a...

00:04:47.900 I'm not a rootless cosmopolitan.

00:04:48.900 Like, Top.

00:04:49.900 All right?

00:04:50.900 Dude, like...

00:04:51.900 You...

00:04:52.900 Cosmopolitan.

00:04:53.900 You live in a city.

00:04:54.900 Take your mom and sister with you. 1.00

00:04:56.900 Fuck. 1.00

00:04:57.900 Like... 1.00

00:04:58.900 You need to get out of here too.

00:04:59.900 It's a metropolitan.

00:05:00.900 Like, my sister is out on the road, actually.

00:05:02.900 She is actually rootless. 1.00

00:05:03.900 Or be a grown man and go...

00:05:05.900 I did see your sister on the corner this weekend.

00:05:08.900 It was good.

00:05:09.900 Or when you kill yourself, just make it entertaining, please.

00:05:11.900 Jesus Christ.

00:05:12.900 That's all I ask.

00:05:13.900 My sister's in Amazon, baby.

00:05:14.900 She's like 5'11".

00:05:15.900 It's just so frustrating.

00:05:16.900 It would be so easy for you.

00:05:18.900 So easy.

00:05:19.900 I'm assuming you have a decent amount of equity in your house,

00:05:21.900 because you've said you've owned that house for a long period of time. 0.99

00:05:23.900 I can see that you have equity in that fucking TV behind you. 1.00

00:05:26.900 Jesus. 1.00

00:05:27.900 What is that, like an 85?

00:05:28.900 Dude, 75.

00:05:29.900 He has equity in a home in a shithole blue state, and he's not liquidating it.

00:05:34.900 At some point, like, I'm going to be mean to you.

00:05:37.900 And I haven't been mean yet.

00:05:38.900 I haven't been mean yet.

00:05:39.900 I haven't started yet.

00:05:40.900 It's not started.

00:05:42.900 I'm still holding up.

00:05:43.900 Top has...

00:05:44.900 He flipped a switch last week.

00:05:45.900 I'm about to. 1.00

00:05:46.900 You need to sell this motherfucking place. 1.00

00:05:47.900 Top today said he may block you on Twitter. 1.00

00:05:50.900 Like, unironically, this is...

00:05:52.900 He's joking around.

00:05:53.900 I think this is a path for happiness for you.

00:05:55.900 Yeah, Top is the joking type.

00:05:56.900 Yeah.

00:05:57.900 Yeah.

00:05:58.900 Sell your house.

00:05:59.900 He's on Tower Gang.

00:06:00.900 Sell your house.

00:06:01.900 Quit your job.

00:06:02.900 Move to Florida. 1.00

00:06:03.900 Get, like, five acres and a fucking trailer. 1.00

00:06:05.900 Get addicted to meth. 1.00

00:06:07.900 A thousand bucks.

00:06:08.900 Yep. 1.00

00:06:09.900 Fucking alligator. 1.00

00:06:10.900 Buy some Vietnamese ladyboy. 1.00

00:06:12.900 You know? 1.00

00:06:13.900 Fucking alligator. 1.00

00:06:14.900 It's, like, really leathery and shit. 1.00

00:06:16.900 That sounds interesting. 0.99

00:06:18.900 It's about the same as Poppy, so...

00:06:20.900 Look, man. 1.00

00:06:26.900 That pussy has teeth, all right? 1.00

00:06:29.900 That was fucked up. 1.00

00:06:31.900 She's, like, our number one fan. 1.00

00:06:33.900 I know.

00:06:34.900 I know.

00:06:35.900 I know.

00:06:36.900 I know.

00:06:37.900 Yeah.

00:06:38.900 Not cool, cool.

00:06:39.900 There's two ways to do it.

00:06:40.900 You either live stream it as, like, a really fun...

00:06:42.900 Like, jump off of...

00:06:43.900 What's the biggest, like, skyscraper in Boston?

00:06:47.900 The John Hancock Tower.

00:06:49.900 Jump off of that and film it.

00:06:50.900 That would be great.

00:06:51.900 Or...

00:06:52.900 That's poetic, dude.

00:06:53.900 Just go to the bed building and just...

00:06:54.900 Blow up. 1.00

00:06:55.900 That's some real libertarian shit. 1.00

00:06:56.900 Jumping off the John Hancock building. 1.00

00:06:57.900 You should do it in front of that...

00:06:58.900 Do it in front of that MLK statue.

00:06:59.900 That would be dope.

00:07:00.900 Protest that.

00:07:01.900 Protest that.

00:07:02.900 Yeah, right.

00:07:03.900 Or the George Floyd statue.

00:07:04.900 Oh, that's in Boston?

00:07:06.900 They probably have that, right?

00:07:07.900 I don't know if it's in Boston, but go to it.

00:07:08.900 Just go to it.

00:07:09.900 Just go to it. 0.99

00:07:10.900 Dude, you should self-immolate in front of a George Floyd statue. 1.00

00:07:14.900 And scream, I'm on Tower Gang, motherfucker. 1.00

00:07:18.900 Before you start screaming in pain. 1.00

00:07:22.900 Imagine all the online schizos, like, what does this mean?

00:07:27.900 Imagine he survives and now he's just on Tower Gang.

00:07:30.900 But badly burned.

00:07:33.900 Boston!

00:07:34.900 All those skin graft people.

00:07:35.900 You can see, like, their skin looks so terrible. 1.00

00:07:37.900 It just looks like a fucking skinwalker. 1.00

00:07:39.900 He looks like Poppy's pussy. 1.00

00:07:42.900 Sorry, Poppy. 1.00

00:07:43.900 That's so mean.

00:07:44.900 And he's still making terrible jokes.

00:07:45.900 But, like, everyone is in pain.

00:07:47.900 He just...

00:07:49.900 Whenever he talks, it just hurts. 1.00

00:07:51.900 Yeah, get the fuck out of there, Toad. 0.99

00:07:54.900 But Boston, by the way, they had a statue of Abraham Lincoln and it's in, like, this square called Lincoln Square. 0.98

00:08:01.900 And it's still called that, I'm pretty sure.

00:08:03.900 But they removed the statue because it was Lincoln, like, sitting in a chair and he had a slave shining his shoes.

00:08:11.900 Oh, nice.

00:08:12.900 Of course.

00:08:13.900 They remove it for the one reason they shouldn't.

00:08:14.900 What do they do with the removed statues?

00:08:16.900 Does someone get to keep them?

00:08:17.900 A freed slave.

00:08:19.900 Oh, yeah, I don't know.

00:08:20.900 What do they do with them?

00:08:21.900 They put them in, like, a museum, but, like, in the back, in the warehouse.

00:08:24.900 Listen, when Tower Gang gets its studios and we really take this thing off, we're buying, like, some of the most racist statues and that'll be right outside.

00:08:31.900 Be cool if you're watching, investment opportunity.

00:08:33.900 Yeah.

00:08:35.900 He's big on the culture war.

00:08:37.900 We can buy all of the Confederate statues and just have them surrounding our compound.

00:08:40.900 You know how many people have those, like, Roman statue gardens?

00:08:43.900 I think we should do that, but with all the racist statues.

00:08:46.900 I think it'd be great.

00:08:47.900 It honestly would be, like...

00:08:49.900 I would unironically love to own a bunch of Confederate statues.

00:08:52.900 Oh, my God.

00:08:53.900 Like, it's, like, almost like you have this museum-like building, almost, and it, like, that's the studio and you have a whole column, like, that you walk through.

00:09:00.900 Like, a mausoleum.

00:09:01.900 And beside them, there's statues.

00:09:03.900 There's, like, Hitler, Mao, and they're, like...

00:09:05.900 And they're, like, it's so disparate, and they're, like, what connects all these? 0.81

00:09:08.900 Oh, they're racist.

00:09:09.900 So...

00:09:10.900 When you...

00:09:11.900 When you go to Tim...

00:09:12.900 They're really cool guys.

00:09:13.900 When he shows you, like, the...

00:09:15.900 Oh, here's the skate park. 0.98

00:09:16.900 We're, like, well, actually, this guy here, this statue, he killed a hundred blacks. 0.90

00:09:19.900 This guy hung... 0.88

00:09:21.900 He hung 50 in one night. 0.68

00:09:23.900 This guy really hated Taiwanese.

00:09:25.900 I don't get it.

00:09:26.900 This guy put up some numbers.

00:09:27.900 Anyway, this is the studio.

00:09:29.900 You know what we should have?

00:09:30.900 I don't know if it's in the spreadsheet, but remember we had that picture of that micropenis statue?

00:09:36.900 We should have a garden full of those. 0.98

00:09:38.900 All the Greek statues of micropenises.

00:09:40.900 Oh, yeah.

00:09:41.900 The one that washed up.

00:09:42.900 But they don't take those down.

00:09:43.900 Micropeni.

00:09:44.900 They're not taking those, the Greek statues down.

00:09:47.900 They're just taking down the really cool statues of, like, cool guys throughout history.

00:09:50.900 Toad, will you promise to move?

00:09:53.900 No, he won't.

00:09:54.900 Please just move, for Jose's sake.

00:09:56.900 I think he enjoys bitching every day. 1.00

00:09:59.900 I think...

00:10:01.900 Toad is actually in, like, a lifelong pain Olympics.

00:10:05.900 And it's just...

00:10:07.900 It's like his thing with his...

00:10:09.900 It's the random Saturday headaches that he had for years.

00:10:12.900 And he's just like, I just soldiered through.

00:10:14.900 It's like...

00:10:15.900 But now he's doing that with every day of his life.

00:10:17.900 I like how it turned into soldier through when clearly he said power through.

00:10:20.900 This is one of those Mandela moments, but he might have said soldier through.

00:10:24.900 I might have said both.

00:10:26.900 I don't know.

00:10:27.900 Oh, yeah.

00:10:28.900 The soldier through comment from last week.

00:10:30.900 That was pretty great.

00:10:31.900 That episode was pretty great.

00:10:32.900 Look, I...

00:10:33.900 I'm...

00:10:34.900 I'm...

00:10:35.900 I'm secret.

00:10:37.900 You did.

00:10:38.900 That episode was good.

00:10:39.900 That episode was good.

00:10:40.900 And I know...

00:10:41.900 I know you don't believe we can do good without you, but that episode was funny, man.

00:10:44.900 It was missing...

00:10:45.900 It was missing the coal filler.

00:10:46.900 Of course.

00:10:47.900 Like, coal fills in the gaps of, like...

00:10:48.900 Yeah.

00:10:49.900 Sometimes there'll be a silence where we're like, all right, now who's gonna talk?

00:10:51.900 And it's always coal.

00:10:52.900 Coal's gonna come in with, like, the next retarded thing that no one is gonna think of. 1.00

00:10:55.900 Coal is the color commentary in our color commentary show.

00:11:00.900 In our colored commentary show.

00:11:03.900 Anti-colored commentary.

00:11:05.900 Our personal color commentary.

00:11:07.900 Coal is, like... 0.96

00:11:09.900 You know when you, like, just find, like, a little bit of, like, cum in your stomach hair? 0.90

00:11:14.900 And you're like, wait a minute, when did this get here? 0.96

00:11:16.900 What?

00:11:17.900 Who's is this?

00:11:18.900 Like, that's...

00:11:19.900 Who's is this? 1.00

00:11:20.900 What the fuck are you talking about, dog? 1.00

00:11:24.900 Who the fuck? 1.00

00:11:25.900 There's too many guys. 1.00

00:11:26.900 Who's is this?

00:11:27.900 I don't know.

00:11:28.900 I've never...

00:11:29.900 I've never wondered if I found any of that. 0.98

00:11:31.900 Where the fuck did that even come from? 0.99

00:11:32.900 That was so goddamn... 1.00

00:11:33.900 I don't know. 0.99

00:11:34.900 Where were you...

00:11:35.900 Where were you going with it, please?

00:11:36.900 Now I'm in trouble.

00:11:37.900 Hell yeah, I wanna get the end of this.

00:11:38.900 Like, that was, like, the highest thing, like...

00:11:40.900 Like, one of those, like, really high thoughts to where you just go...

00:11:43.900 Don't tell Toad like this.

00:11:44.900 Extrapolate.

00:11:45.900 Keep going.

00:11:46.900 What were you saying?

00:11:47.900 Yeah, you thought Top took something before the show.

00:11:48.900 Maybe it was me.

00:11:49.900 Yeah.

00:11:50.900 Oh, great. 1.00

00:11:51.900 Yeah, another dude's dick. 1.00

00:11:52.900 He's just like, I'll get them to shut the fuck up about moving. 1.00

00:11:56.900 I'll just take some random act off the fucking shit. 1.00

00:11:58.900 I did! 1.00

00:11:59.900 Yeah, exactly. 0.99

00:12:00.900 You ever have cum just dripping down your face? 0.99

00:12:02.900 I understand what Toad is saying. 0.99

00:12:03.900 Who is this?

00:12:04.900 Every so often, if I do... 0.99

00:12:06.900 If I jerk off in the shower at all, like, I will get cum in my feet hair. 0.98

00:12:11.900 That would be the only, like... 0.99

00:12:12.900 What?

00:12:13.900 You never...

00:12:14.900 How much feet hair do you have?

00:12:15.900 He's a hobbit. 0.70

00:12:16.900 You ever done that movie?

00:12:18.900 I mean, obviously any man has done that movie. 0.98

00:12:20.900 They cum on their tummy at least once. 0.99

00:12:22.900 Yeah. 0.99

00:12:23.900 Oh, yeah.

00:12:24.900 And then you wipe it off.

00:12:25.900 But, like, I guess there's times where you probably miss a spot or something.

00:12:27.900 Yeah.

00:12:28.900 And you wake up and then, like, oh, your little, like, happy trail is all crusty. 0.99

00:12:30.900 You're like, what the fuck? 0.99

00:12:31.900 You know? 1.00

00:12:32.900 No, mine is on my...

00:12:33.900 Do you want to have feet hair?

00:12:34.900 Let me tell you...

00:12:35.900 This is what happened.

00:12:36.900 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:12:37.900 Wait, wait.

00:12:38.900 Mom, but...

00:12:39.900 Yeah, I agree with you, Jose. 0.98

00:12:40.900 But do you ever fucking wake up and go, whose is this? 0.91

00:12:42.900 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 0.97

00:12:43.900 I never wonder whose it is.

00:12:44.900 That's...

00:12:45.900 Mom, turn it off real quick. 1.00

00:12:46.900 So this happened to me, like, I don't even remember, a while ago.

00:12:49.900 But, like, a woman on top, right?

00:12:52.900 The deal is done.

00:12:53.900 All finished.

00:12:54.900 Your wife, right?

00:12:55.900 Hopefully.

00:12:56.900 I'm just saying, whatever.

00:12:57.900 It's just weird now.

00:12:58.900 Someone doesn't...

00:12:59.900 Yeah, some woman or possibly a guy. 0.96

00:13:01.900 You're done.

00:13:02.900 They get up and you feel a warm drop on you.

00:13:06.900 Yup.

00:13:07.900 And you're like, yeah.

00:13:08.900 Then you're like, whose was that?

00:13:09.900 And it was clearly yours.

00:13:11.900 But it's almost disrespectful in a way.

00:13:13.900 I feel like, like, did you just squirt on me?

00:13:16.900 It's very...

00:13:17.900 Not just...

00:13:18.900 I thought you were saying that you should say that to them in that moment.

00:13:21.900 Be like, who's is that?

00:13:22.900 Who's is that?

00:13:23.900 Who's is that?

00:13:24.900 Who's that?

00:13:25.900 Who's that? 1.00

00:13:26.900 It's like, bitch, I didn't cum. 1.00

00:13:28.900 You dirty bitch, you. 1.00

00:13:30.900 How long has that been in there? 1.00

00:13:31.900 You dirty bitch. 1.00

00:13:32.900 No, I just reminded me because... 1.00

00:13:35.900 It is very weird whenever you do pull out and there is something on your penis that wasn't 0.99

00:13:39.900 there before and it wasn't... 0.99

00:13:40.900 It's not yours. 0.99

00:13:43.900 What the fuck are you talking about? 1.00

00:13:45.900 I don't... 1.00

00:13:46.900 Like, usually it happens when they're on their period.

00:13:48.900 Oh.

00:13:49.900 And so, like, it's just like...

00:13:50.900 It's not blood.

00:13:51.900 It's clump.

00:13:52.900 It's like a clump.

00:13:53.900 Yeah.

00:13:54.900 Or some type of...

00:13:55.900 Coagulated a little.

00:13:56.900 Yeah.

00:13:57.900 It's a glob of dried period blood.

00:13:58.900 Man.

00:13:59.900 Toad, you don't know what you're talking about. 1.00

00:14:00.900 When did you pull out a ring with your fucking penis hole? 1.00

00:14:03.900 Like... 1.00

00:14:04.900 If we go fishing in the vagina and you get a boot or something... 1.00

00:14:08.900 Honestly, you know how much I love the Jews, but that's the most... 1.00

00:14:11.900 Go fishing.

00:14:12.900 That's the most base thing about the Jews where they're like, like, their wife is just starting 1.00

00:14:15.900 to like...

00:14:16.900 They're like, you're sleeping in the other room.

00:14:18.900 Oh, yeah.

00:14:19.900 Like, they don't even like...

00:14:20.900 Don't kiss me on the lips.

00:14:21.900 Don't look at me directly.

00:14:22.900 Don't turn the lights on. 0.99

00:14:23.900 I'm like, damn, that's base. 1.00

00:14:24.900 But everything else they do is fucking shitty, but that's pretty cool. 0.99

00:14:26.900 Dude, it's amazing that they even made it to six million of them because they only 0.99

00:14:31.900 fucked like one week out of the month. 0.98

00:14:33.900 Like, that's it. 0.98

00:14:34.900 That's the only time that you can...

00:14:35.900 That's the only month...

00:14:36.900 That's the only week that it matters.

00:14:37.900 It's early week though. 0.99

00:14:38.900 It's when it's like shit's ready to go and they're all horned up. 0.99

00:14:41.900 Well, you know... 1.00

00:14:42.900 When they fuck, they fuck. 1.00

00:14:43.900 I heard they fuck. 1.00

00:14:44.900 Yeah, but did you know that... 1.00

00:14:46.900 Oy vey! 0.99

00:14:47.900 They have nothing to stop the coming.

00:14:50.900 There's no, like, all the foreskin is gone, so it's just all not gonna get caught in

00:14:54.900 anything.

00:14:55.900 It's going straight all down, like, down the tube.

00:14:57.900 That doesn't seem scientific, but I'm nodding along anyways.

00:14:59.900 Yeah, but also...

00:15:00.900 I think there's something to it.

00:15:01.900 Honestly, if Code said that, we would all make fun of him.

00:15:04.900 You know, that's true.

00:15:05.900 That's true.

00:15:06.900 Yeah, Cole, what do you not know nothing about anatomy?

00:15:09.900 Did you know that...

00:15:10.900 I do not know nothing.

00:15:11.900 Orthodox Jews... 1.00

00:15:13.900 Orthodox Jews, when they die... 1.00

00:15:15.900 Damn. 1.00

00:15:16.900 When they die... 1.00

00:15:17.900 You fucking dumbass. 1.00

00:15:18.900 You fucking double-punching dick ass. 1.00

00:15:19.900 I want to clip the whole thing, I do not know nothing. 1.00

00:15:22.900 Just like add that to the intro. 0.55

00:15:24.900 That was great.

00:15:25.900 Very Play-Doh.

00:15:26.900 Reverse Play-Doh.

00:15:27.900 I love it.

00:15:28.900 With the beard.

00:15:29.900 It is kind of with the beard that he's got going on. 1.00

00:15:31.900 The shitty beard. 0.99

00:15:32.900 Like I said, it's like... 1.00

00:15:33.900 Elizabeth's calling me Abraham today, and I smacked a bitch for thinking I was Jewish. 0.99

00:15:37.900 Ibrahim. 0.99

00:15:38.900 I can see Ibrahim.

00:15:39.900 Ibrahim.

00:15:41.900 I would much rather be a Jethro than an Abraham. 1.00

00:15:44.900 Yo, when you just got stubble, my dick is fully erect, but right now... 1.00

00:15:49.900 I know I got to cut it, dude. 1.00

00:15:51.900 It's not good.

00:15:52.900 Yeah, I guess so. 0.99

00:15:53.900 My dick is not nearly as hard. 0.99

00:15:54.900 The fun thing, though, is... 0.99

00:15:55.900 I don't know if anybody else...

00:15:56.900 I guess Clint says this.

00:15:57.900 You look like a gym rat that lives out of his van right now. 0.72

00:16:00.900 What? 0.98

00:16:01.900 What?

00:16:02.900 What?

00:16:03.900 Shout out to Travis.

00:16:05.900 The mustache hairs that go into your mouth, like get on your lip, I cannot stop playing

00:16:11.900 with those.

00:16:12.900 With my mouth. 0.99

00:16:13.900 It is ridiculous. 0.98

00:16:14.900 I bite them off. 0.98

00:16:15.900 I'm out of my mind.

00:16:16.900 If they're in the corner, I'm like... 1.00

00:16:17.900 I'm just fucking biting them. 1.00

00:16:18.900 It's crazy. 1.00

00:16:19.900 I'll sit there and do this.

00:16:20.900 I do that all day.

00:16:21.900 Just sit there with my bottom lip and...

00:16:23.900 This thing...

00:16:24.900 I've got chapped lips from doing it too much.

00:16:27.900 Me too.

00:16:28.900 Yeah, no. 0.99

00:16:29.900 I fucking hate that. 1.00

00:16:30.900 You gotta trim the hair so it doesn't get in your fucking mouth. 1.00

00:16:32.900 Yeah, you have to. 1.00

00:16:33.900 I hate that.

00:16:34.900 What I was gonna say is, did you know that Orthodox Jews, when they die, they... 0.95

00:16:38.900 Don't go to heaven?

00:16:39.900 I know.

00:16:40.900 Yes. 1.00

00:16:41.900 Go directly to hell? 1.00

00:16:42.900 Straight to hell. 1.00

00:16:43.900 Where they belong? 1.00

00:16:44.900 They're demonic, yes.

00:16:45.900 It's traditional.

00:16:46.900 They're not even people.

00:16:47.900 We told you that.

00:16:48.900 No.

00:16:49.900 They ceremonially will collect all...

00:16:51.900 Where do lizards go when they die?

00:16:53.900 Not to heaven.

00:16:54.900 They ceremonially collect all of the person's bodily fluids and bury them with them.

00:17:01.900 So, like, what do they have to...

00:17:02.900 Do they have to, like, go out and, like, collect...

00:17:04.900 Like, oh, you jizzed in this person.

00:17:05.900 We gotta go collect all of your bodily fluids. 1.00

00:17:08.900 Oh, you...

00:17:09.900 I don't think they do that.

00:17:10.900 That's the entire premise, because we were having fun.

00:17:12.900 Oh, you donated to a sperm bank?

00:17:14.900 You gotta...

00:17:15.900 I don't know. 0.99

00:17:16.900 I feel like sperm banks turn away Jewish people. 0.97

00:17:18.900 Oh, that actually makes sense, though. 0.91

00:17:20.900 I feel like they see them in there, and they're like...

00:17:22.900 We know what you guys do to banks. 0.99

00:17:24.900 Let's get the fuck away from this one. 0.97

00:17:27.900 Then it turned me away, by the way. 1.00

00:17:29.900 There's a run on the sperm bank.

00:17:30.900 What did the Jew do? 0.83

00:17:31.900 You know that the Jews have been kicked out of 187 sperm banks?

00:17:37.900 Did you know that I donated to one in college?

00:17:40.900 Oh, man.

00:17:41.900 Oh, God.

00:17:42.900 That poor woman. 1.00

00:17:43.900 She's like, I hope I got a stud. 1.00

00:17:46.900 Well, it was like a...

00:17:48.900 I don't even know if it was real. 1.00

00:17:49.900 Oh, fuck, I got a stud finder. 0.99

00:17:50.900 It was like this clinic, but it was kind of just like, I don't know, like a waiting room, 1.00

00:17:54.900 and then like a bathroom, and they're like, hey, I can go in here and like, I don't know, jizz in this cup.

00:17:58.900 I like the thought that it wasn't a sperm bank, and it was just a dude just like...

00:18:01.900 I think it was in a homeless shelter.

00:18:03.900 You would give him a solo cup.

00:18:05.900 We have some playboys in there, and then they paid me with Taco Bell afterwards.

00:18:08.900 It was pretty weird.

00:18:09.900 Oh, my God.

00:18:10.900 You did not go to a sperm bank.

00:18:12.900 Yeah, you gave plasma. 1.00

00:18:13.900 You idiot. 1.00

00:18:15.900 Shit. 1.00

00:18:17.900 You came into the plasma dispenser or collector? 1.00

00:18:21.900 That's terrible.

00:18:22.900 Yeah, I guess.

00:18:23.900 I don't know.

00:18:24.900 The whole thing was a little weird.

00:18:25.900 I don't know. 0.92

00:18:26.900 It was just to get like 50 bucks or some shit. 0.92

00:18:28.900 I think they said they were doing... 0.99

00:18:30.900 50 bucks a Taco Bell?

00:18:31.900 Yeah. 1.00

00:18:32.900 God damn. 1.00

00:18:33.900 Yeah. 1.00

00:18:34.900 I bet you owned that Taco Bell.

00:18:36.900 You'd go in there and be like, I want to buy...

00:18:38.900 I want to franchise this.

00:18:39.900 No, because I blew it all on a Taco Bell challenge, so...

00:18:43.900 I don't know what that means.

00:18:44.900 I don't know what that is either, but it has something to do with gambling.

00:18:47.900 I swear to God, I'm going to block you, though.

00:18:49.900 Go ahead.

00:18:50.900 Tell us what it is.

00:18:51.900 So, you spend $30 at Taco Bell.

00:18:57.900 You have to have multiple people do it because it's a competition.

00:19:00.900 You spend $30 and you can have no...

00:19:02.900 It was like, the hardest part is finding the friends.

00:19:06.900 It was really difficult.

00:19:07.900 I'm sorry. 0.64

00:19:08.900 This just sounds pathetic to me. 0.92

00:19:10.900 Like, you get with a friend and you're like, you know what we're going to do? 1.00

00:19:12.900 We're going to eat a bunch of fucking Taco Bell so you can do it quicker. 1.00

00:19:15.900 I will say, Jose, this is a college thing. 0.99

00:19:17.900 This is definitely something that you would do in college.

00:19:18.900 I don't know. 0.96

00:19:19.900 I guess I did cooler shit in the semester I was in college, but I guess that's why I 0.96

00:19:22.900 only did a semester. 0.96

00:19:23.900 Think about what the prices were like at Taco Bell in 2006, though.

00:19:27.900 Oh, yeah. 0.52

00:19:28.900 That's a retarded amount of... 1.00

00:19:29.900 Right. 0.61

00:19:30.900 So, we're talking about that.

00:19:31.900 It's $30 and you cannot repeat any menu items and you can only get one beverage. 0.99

00:19:35.900 So, you have to like really strategize this shit. 1.00

00:19:38.900 So, I was like getting really autistic and thinking like, what's the most expensive shit? 1.00

00:19:43.900 Yeah. 0.99

00:19:44.900 You can't like qualify it as like a repeat.

00:19:46.900 So, I'm like...

00:19:47.900 I was just myself all day.

00:19:48.900 Everything is just...

00:19:49.900 Everything is just...

00:19:50.900 Everything's got to have like steak in it.

00:19:52.900 So, you're upgrading the steak, upgrading the steak.

00:19:54.900 And then like your one beverage, you're getting like a large water because it like costs as

00:19:58.900 much as another drink and it is...

00:20:00.900 A large water costs $0.

00:20:02.900 I don't understand.

00:20:03.900 Wait.

00:20:04.900 For $30?

00:20:05.900 It was a fountain drink and I filled it with water.

00:20:08.900 What's the challenge?

00:20:09.900 Cheating.

00:20:10.900 Are you trying to buy everything?

00:20:11.900 No, no, no.

00:20:12.900 You're trying to spend $30 and then eat it all.

00:20:13.900 It sounds like you... 0.99

00:20:14.900 Taco Bell made it up and then got suckers like fucking Toe to go in there and spend $30 1.00

00:20:18.900 with it. 0.99

00:20:19.900 Are you in a fraternity?

00:20:21.900 Yes or no?

00:20:22.900 No.

00:20:23.900 Okay.

00:20:24.900 It seems like some activity a nerd fraternity would be.

00:20:26.900 Answer to this question, though, quickly.

00:20:28.900 The winner of the Taco Bell Challenge is the first person to finish all of the stuff

00:20:32.900 that they bought.

00:20:33.900 So, that's how it works.

00:20:34.900 And you win what?

00:20:35.900 It is a shitload of money.

00:20:37.900 And you win what?

00:20:38.900 People put in money.

00:20:39.900 Oh, okay.

00:20:40.900 Okay.

00:20:41.900 Yeah.

00:20:42.900 Alright, whatever.

00:20:43.900 I mean, I guess I'd be down, but I'd be like...

00:20:44.900 Right.

00:20:45.900 So, I was not in a frat, but I was in the men's glee club at my college and it was frat-like.

00:20:54.900 I would say there was a frat that had a lot of the glee club people and it was kind

00:20:58.900 of like the glee club frat. 0.98

00:20:59.900 It was a frat, but like no sorority bitches. 1.00

00:21:01.900 I was not in that. 0.99

00:21:02.900 I was not in that. 1.00

00:21:03.900 Oh, there were some sorority bitches. 1.00

00:21:04.900 I'm telling you. 0.99

00:21:05.900 Yes, that's...

00:21:06.900 Listen, real quick.

00:21:07.900 That is a thing.

00:21:08.900 In college, there are the nerd fraternities and there are...

00:21:11.900 Not a lot of hot chicks go there, but there's a decent amount and if you're a decent dude, 0.99

00:21:15.900 you can just come and swoop them away from the nerds.

00:21:17.900 I used to go hang out with the nerd fraternities. 0.96

00:21:18.900 Like, they're always chill as fuck, like to talk about the stuff I like to talk about 0.99

00:21:21.900 and I fucking... 1.00

00:21:22.900 Big old titty goth bitches. 1.00

00:21:23.900 Yeah. 1.00

00:21:24.900 I know what you're talking about.

00:21:25.900 Yeah.

00:21:26.900 Well, there was some sort of...

00:21:27.900 I'm paying a bunch of sixes over not getting an eight.

00:21:28.900 Like, 100%.

00:21:29.900 Yeah.

00:21:30.900 For real.

00:21:31.900 Like...

00:21:32.900 You're getting it, dog.

00:21:33.900 You're getting it, dog.

00:21:34.900 The hazing was just kind of like...

00:21:35.900 Like, you go to, like, the Wrath Skeller, which is like this, like, basement basically

00:21:40.900 where everybody's just binge drinking and you basically just have to drink as much as

00:21:43.900 possible to prove that you're...

00:21:45.900 Yeah, that's not hazing.

00:21:46.900 ...valid as a human being.

00:21:47.900 That's called a house party. 0.99

00:21:48.900 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:21:49.900 That's the most autistic way to describe, you know, the coming of age of... 0.57

00:21:53.900 Yeah.

00:21:54.900 Like, well, we have these dregs and then you have this, like, kind of weird ethereal peer pressure

00:21:58.900 in the air and...

00:21:59.900 I don't know.

00:22:00.900 No, then you just keep doing it and then you smoke a doobie.

00:22:04.900 Right.

00:22:05.900 You start to spin around a little bit.

00:22:07.900 You see a girl you want to talk to.

00:22:08.900 You don't talk to her.

00:22:09.900 You go home.

00:22:10.900 Then you go to the Taco Bell. 0.99

00:22:11.900 You get $30 worth of food and you shit your pants. 0.67

00:22:13.900 Well, the men's glee club was interesting because we would go on... 0.97

00:22:16.900 No, it wasn't.

00:22:17.900 Yeah.

00:22:18.900 No.

00:22:19.900 The men's glee club was not interesting. 0.92

00:22:21.900 We got to perform in Spain and shit like that, but we also... 0.55

00:22:24.900 How many of the men in the glee club that you sang with, how many of them still have hair? 0.98

00:22:30.900 How many of them killed themselves?

00:22:32.900 How many of them are subvergents? 1.00

00:22:34.900 At least one of them you could argue killed himself because he was such a drug addict. 0.92

00:22:40.900 Yep.

00:22:41.900 Exactly.

00:22:42.900 Well, one of those guys is dead.

00:22:43.900 RIP Jeremy. 1.00

00:22:45.900 Fuck sucks. 1.00

00:22:46.900 All I'm learning is, like, Toad started his gambling and alcohol addiction very early. 1.00

00:22:50.900 First name only.

00:22:51.900 He was like, what's his home address, Toad?

00:22:53.900 By the pinpoint in time, it was college.

00:22:55.900 Did this guy compete in the Taco Bell challenge by chance?

00:22:58.900 No.

00:22:59.900 I don't believe so.

00:23:00.900 Smart guy.

00:23:01.900 Yeah.

00:23:02.900 I don't know.

00:23:03.900 Jeremy said, I'm getting out of Boston one way or the other.

00:23:05.900 He killed himself the old fashioned way.

00:23:07.900 Drugs.

00:23:08.900 I don't know. 0.68

00:23:09.900 Like most of the people in the glee club, he was, like, very likely homosexual. 0.70

00:23:13.900 But, like, we never actually confirmed that.

00:23:16.900 I don't know.

00:23:17.900 That's how I feel about you.

00:23:19.900 No.

00:23:20.900 So, we would...

00:23:21.900 Well, that was very disappointing for the women when we went... 0.88

00:23:25.900 We'd go on these, like, tours to all these...

00:23:27.900 The women were disappointed when they thought we were gay. 1.00

00:23:29.900 They saw the glee club come in and that pussy got wet. 1.00

00:23:32.900 Hold on. 1.00

00:23:33.900 Hold on.

00:23:34.900 Hold on.

00:23:35.900 Hold on.

00:23:36.900 Hold on.

00:23:37.900 There are women there. 1.00

00:23:38.900 And you're surrounded by a bunch of gay glee club dudes. 0.83

00:23:41.900 Yeah. 1.00

00:23:42.900 And you still don't fuck any of these bitches? 1.00

00:23:43.900 Look, we... 1.00

00:23:44.900 Yeah.

00:23:45.900 We'd go to...

00:23:46.900 Well, yeah.

00:23:47.900 Look, yeah.

00:23:48.900 Yeah.

00:23:49.900 We'd go to all these all women's colleges. 0.99

00:23:51.900 So, whenever they saw, like, any men whatsoever, it was like, they were, like, crowding around

00:23:54.900 the bus. 0.99

00:23:55.900 God damn it. 0.99

00:23:56.900 When we got there. 1.00

00:23:57.900 I didn't realize what a fucking perfect scam being in the league club would be. 0.97

00:24:00.900 Maybe some mistakes were made. 0.99

00:24:01.900 Hold on.

00:24:02.900 I do want to say this.

00:24:03.900 Hold on.

00:24:04.900 I do want to say this. 0.99

00:24:05.900 Just nothing but gay dudes and chicks. 1.00

00:24:06.900 Like, and the gay dudes bring in the chicks even more. 1.00

00:24:07.900 Exactly. 0.99

00:24:08.900 I want to say this.

00:24:09.900 Exactly, dude. 0.99

00:24:10.900 Toad has turned down more pussy than any of us has gotten, is what he's trying to 0.99

00:24:13.900 say here, which is kind of chadly. 0.99

00:24:14.900 Yeah.

00:24:15.900 Still not true.

00:24:16.900 That's right.

00:24:17.900 But he's just saying, like, he...

00:24:18.900 It's a nice sentiment.

00:24:19.900 It's a nice sentiment, but it's just not true.

00:24:20.900 I don't know the frame of mind perspective.

00:24:22.900 Dude, I'm telling you, man, I turned down...

00:24:24.900 In a different perspective, that's what he's saying.

00:24:27.900 I turned down a wholesome...

00:24:28.900 In a totally autistic perspective. 0.95

00:24:30.900 Yeah.

00:24:31.900 I'll translate for Toad. 1.00

00:24:32.900 He's saying he could have got a lot of pussy, but he turned it down. 1.00

00:24:34.900 He says it all the time. 1.00

00:24:35.900 He's manifesting his reality.

00:24:36.900 No, I could have.

00:24:37.900 We'll spend time with the bros. 1.00

00:24:38.900 That's way more better than pussy. 1.00

00:24:39.900 Yeah, bros. 1.00

00:24:40.900 Way more better.

00:24:41.900 Way more better.

00:24:42.900 Way more better.

00:24:43.900 That's a double positive.

00:24:44.900 What's happening?

00:24:45.900 I don't know.

00:24:46.900 No, yeah, I turned down a foursome in Avignon when I was 16.

00:24:51.900 Yeah, we know about the foursome you tried to turn down with Cole.

00:24:55.900 Yeah. 0.99

00:24:56.900 Liar. 0.99

00:24:57.900 I was turning down something else during that. 0.99

00:25:00.900 Okay. 0.99

00:25:01.900 All right, let's get to the fucking mailbag. 0.99

00:25:02.900 Enough bullying, Joe. 0.99

00:25:03.900 I don't even know what that means.

00:25:05.900 All right.

00:25:06.900 That was a 25-minute banter.

00:25:07.900 Congrats, guys.

00:25:08.900 That was impressive.

00:25:09.900 We did it.

00:25:10.900 It was all just bullying, Joe. 1.00

00:25:11.900 We fucking did it. 0.99

00:25:12.900 Sometimes I come into the show. 0.99

00:25:14.900 I'm like, do we have content?

00:25:15.900 Dude.

00:25:16.900 And the answer is always no.

00:25:17.900 And look at that.

00:25:18.900 25 minutes.

00:25:19.900 We did on nothing.

00:25:20.900 Oh, easy.

00:25:21.900 Dude, I could do that for the rest of the show.

00:25:22.900 That's what we did last week.

00:25:23.900 Just rift the whole episode and bully you, Joe.

00:25:25.900 We're like the side.

00:25:26.900 Dickie, get out of here.

00:25:27.900 We're going to rift the rest of the episode.

00:25:29.900 No, no, no.

00:25:30.900 We'll do the mailbag. 0.80

00:25:32.900 But it sucked last week, so. 0.56

00:25:34.900 Okay. 0.82

00:25:35.900 All right.

00:25:36.900 Yeah, the mailbag was weak last week.

00:25:37.900 Yeah.

00:25:38.900 Sorry.

00:25:39.900 Michael Vibration actually made a video with his entry.

00:25:43.900 And so his question has to do. 0.97

00:25:45.900 Is it him masturbating? 0.99

00:25:46.900 No, it is not him. 0.99

00:25:47.900 Why would you go to that?

00:25:48.900 Well, that's disappointing.

00:25:49.900 Why?

00:25:50.900 I am disappointed by that.

00:25:51.900 All right.

00:25:52.900 Let's watch this.

00:25:53.900 So his question has to do with the video.

00:25:55.900 Okay.

00:25:56.900 All right.

00:25:57.900 He's pushing it, but all right.

00:25:58.900 Most of her life in Plymouth.

00:25:59.900 And had the accent.

00:26:00.900 We have set a bad precedent here.

00:26:01.900 Until recently.

00:26:02.900 Yeah.

00:26:03.900 So, fish and chips.

00:26:04.900 Chips.

00:26:05.900 I said that right?

00:26:06.900 Yeah.

00:26:07.900 Three and a half years ago, she was rushed into hospital with a migraine, which left her

00:26:12.900 with a voice she didn't recognize.

00:26:14.900 So this is.

00:26:15.900 How have I not?

00:26:16.900 I've only heard the Maya eating voice in.

00:26:18.900 Oh, she's Asian. 1.00

00:26:19.900 Wait, oh.

00:26:20.900 Her initial response was.

00:26:23.900 We're talking about fish and chips.

00:26:24.900 The title of the video is she woke up speaking Chinese.

00:26:27.900 Or not speaking Chinese.

00:26:28.900 I didn't see the title.

00:26:29.900 She has a Chinese accent.

00:26:30.900 Missed opportunity to call it fish and chinks though.

00:26:33.900 You think I can do this with white people? 1.00

00:26:34.900 I know it's me. 0.67

00:26:35.900 You think I can do this with black people? 1.00

00:26:36.900 I know it's me.

00:26:37.900 I woke up and I thought I just spoke black.

00:26:39.900 She's staying character. 0.97

00:26:40.900 It's the perfect troll. 0.53

00:26:41.900 She speaks. 0.81

00:26:42.900 She speaks good.

00:26:43.900 And a grift.

00:26:44.900 Yeah.

00:26:45.900 But like that, not me no more.

00:26:47.900 Sarah has been diagnosed with foreign accent syndrome. 1.00

00:26:53.900 She has a dinosaur being a fucking retard. 1.00

00:26:54.900 No one else is worldwide. 1.00

00:26:55.900 Although it's good foreign accent syndrome. 1.00

00:26:56.900 She has a dinosaur being a lying bitch. 1.00

00:26:57.900 There's nothing foreign about it. 1.00

00:26:58.900 Dude, she doesn't even look Asian. 1.00

00:26:59.900 Like what is going on here?

00:27:00.900 Yeah, because it's.

00:27:01.900 Wow, totally.

00:27:02.900 To pick up the accent.

00:27:03.900 So it's impossible. 1.00

00:27:04.900 What the fuck? 1.00

00:27:05.900 Tough night. 1.00

00:27:06.900 Night bus.

00:27:07.900 Although she doesn't know.

00:27:08.900 Oh my god, imagine going through speech therapy while you're faking it.

00:27:14.900 I mean, she's just diagnosed with racism.

00:27:15.900 That's what's going on.

00:27:16.900 I'm comfortable with my speech now.

00:27:17.900 We can't give you any definitive answers about exactly what's happening.

00:27:18.900 Which is why we're following Sarah's journey. 0.98

00:27:19.900 She's a liar. 0.99

00:27:20.900 Yeah. 1.00

00:27:21.900 Yeah.

00:27:22.900 Some small changes happen.

00:27:23.900 Yeah.

00:27:24.900 Yeah.

00:27:25.900 Yeah.

00:27:26.900 Yeah.

00:27:27.900 Yeah.

00:27:28.900 Yeah.

00:27:29.900 Yeah.

00:27:30.900 Yeah.

00:27:31.900 Yeah.

00:27:32.900 Yeah.

00:27:33.900 Yeah.

00:27:34.900 Yeah.

00:27:35.900 Yeah.

00:27:36.900 Yeah.

00:27:37.900 Yeah.

00:27:38.900 Yeah.

00:27:40.900 Yeah.

00:27:41.900 Yeah.

00:27:42.900 Yeah.

00:27:43.900 Yeah.

00:27:44.900 It's hilarious, but it's a lie.

00:27:48.900 You know what's amazing about this?

00:27:49.900 This is like that South Park where Cartman could just like yell all these like curse words

00:27:54.900 and slurs.

00:27:55.900 You know where he got Tourette's?

00:27:56.900 Yeah.

00:27:57.900 Blame it on Tourette's.

00:27:58.900 Yeah.

00:27:59.900 So you can be completely racist.

00:28:01.900 You can be massively racist and just say you have foreign accents in your home.

00:28:05.900 Yeah.

00:28:06.900 That's what I was saying.

00:28:07.900 I was like.

00:28:08.900 Oh, I just woke up.

00:28:09.900 I had a headache.

00:28:10.900 It's nothing I can do to stop with this.

00:28:12.900 I'm so sorry.

00:28:13.900 All right.

00:28:14.900 So his question is in relation to the above clip.

00:28:17.900 If y'all woke up with foreign accent syndrome tomorrow, what would be yours? 1.00

00:28:22.900 Oh, I'd be black as a motherfucker. 1.00

00:28:24.900 Yeah. 1.00

00:28:25.900 Honestly, I'd be British because I feel like that British is like, it's pretty sexy. 0.83

00:28:30.900 I was just thinking what sounds more retarded, like a Chinese accent or a British accent? 0.99

00:28:35.900 Although I like a cockney British accent. 0.99

00:28:37.900 Oi, bro.

00:28:39.900 Yeah, that'd be pretty hot.

00:28:40.900 I'm going right now.

00:28:41.900 Read it, read it, read it, read it, read it.

00:28:43.900 I think it's got to be black though, because then you get the N word pass.

00:28:49.900 No, you don't. 0.93

00:28:50.900 Oh, you still look like.

00:28:51.900 No, you don't get it.

00:28:52.900 You just act like you have it.

00:28:54.900 I mean, if you sell it well enough. 1.00

00:28:56.900 You will still get fucking whooped your ass. 1.00

00:28:58.900 You're still going to get laid out, but it'd be funny. 1.00

00:29:00.900 Yeah.

00:29:01.900 Right. 0.54

00:29:02.900 White dudes, if they can sell it, they can get away with it. 1.00

00:29:04.900 It's only like the fucking like, like the white women that will be like, you can't 1.00

00:29:09.900 say that. 1.00

00:29:10.900 Right.

00:29:11.900 Everyone else is kind of like, well, I mean, dude, he's like, look at his body language.

00:29:14.900 Look at how he speaks.

00:29:15.900 Like, that's clearly how he's raised. 1.00

00:29:16.900 Who gives a fuck? 0.99

00:29:17.900 Exactly. 0.99

00:29:18.900 Yeah.

00:29:19.900 But you have to actually be hood. 0.99

00:29:20.900 You can't be fucking crying. 0.99

00:29:21.900 That's the thing. 0.99

00:29:22.900 You have to actually commit to it. 0.97

00:29:24.900 You'd have to become a wigger, basically. 1.00

00:29:26.900 Yeah. 0.97

00:29:27.900 Because like this.

00:29:28.900 Your wardrobe, everything.

00:29:30.900 She didn't commit to it. 0.99

00:29:31.900 She didn't dress up in a fucking kimono and like, put on that weird, like white face 1.00

00:29:35.900 with the big red. 1.00

00:29:36.900 With the little fucking weird little pointy hats and the little robe. 0.99

00:29:39.900 She didn't dress like a geisha, which isn't Chinese. 0.99

00:29:42.900 No, she just had a British Asian accent that she was obviously faking. 0.99

00:29:46.900 That'd be based if she had, if she had just gone all in and she was like, I'm going to 0.99

00:29:50.900 fucking be a geisha now. 0.99

00:29:51.900 That'd be sick. 1.00

00:29:52.900 Yeah.

00:29:53.900 Then I would believe her, but no.

00:29:54.900 I can't just stop her.

00:29:56.900 Oh, you need to become Indian. 1.00

00:29:58.900 You have to shit in the street and then like own a 7-Eleven. 0.99

00:30:01.900 Like you just have to do like, immediately just buy like a 7-Eleven. 1.00

00:30:04.900 I hope this bitch started fundraisers and shit for awareness and all sorts of everything. 1.00

00:30:08.900 I don't give a fuck. 1.00

00:30:09.900 You must have bound my feet. 1.00

00:30:11.900 My feet are too large.

00:30:12.900 I cannot fit into the shoe.

00:30:14.900 Another one is, you could just be like a white woman and then you just have to transition. 1.00

00:30:20.900 Like I think someone said it in the chat.

00:30:23.900 Just be like, I'm a white woman now. 1.00

00:30:25.900 And you just talk like a fucking idiot. 1.00

00:30:28.900 I would opt for Afrikaner. 1.00

00:30:30.900 I would love to be that.

00:30:31.900 Oh yeah.

00:30:32.900 Like the South Africans kind of guy? 0.93

00:30:33.900 The South Africans.

00:30:34.900 Yeah.

00:30:35.900 That'd be true.

00:30:36.900 That sounds pretty cool.

00:30:37.900 Oh yeah.

00:30:38.900 That clicks and...

00:30:39.900 Am I more?

00:30:41.900 Am I more?

00:30:42.900 Am I more?

00:30:43.900 Am I more?

00:30:45.900 Yes.

00:30:46.900 I mean the good thing about that is no one would know if I could actually speak it or

00:30:49.900 not.

00:30:50.900 Yeah.

00:30:51.900 It's like, yeah.

00:30:52.900 One of the 10,000 people that speak this language in Africa are going to see me.

00:30:56.900 Yeah.

00:30:57.900 Sure.

00:30:58.900 They're going to see me on their Obama phones, right?

00:31:00.900 I want to be some populated South American tribe that doesn't even completely have a full

00:31:05.900 language.

00:31:06.900 It's more just like, you know, sounds to call out to other people for hunting trips and

00:31:10.900 stuff.

00:31:11.900 Like animal noises.

00:31:12.900 Yeah.

00:31:13.900 Now, the other one is, there's a funny thing about it, like kind of on Family Guy, when

00:31:18.900 Peter becomes an Uber driver and all of a sudden it becomes like Middle Eastern. 0.83

00:31:23.900 That would be the other one.

00:31:24.900 You just start, you just become a Middle Eastern man, just put on a ton of cologne, get a bunch 1.00

00:31:28.900 of chest hair, wear like.

00:31:29.900 Like Persian specifically?

00:31:30.900 Yeah.

00:31:31.900 Yeah.

00:31:32.900 Persian, wear like a big like gold chain. 1.00

00:31:33.900 Yeah. 0.99

00:31:34.900 And then just like yell on a fucking, like a Bluetooth headset just all the time. 0.99

00:31:40.900 Just be on the phone. 1.00

00:31:41.900 That would be pretty base.

00:31:42.900 Peter did it with the Italians as well. 0.98

00:31:45.900 They're black. 0.91

00:31:46.900 It's a different episode. 0.85

00:31:47.900 Yeah.

00:31:48.900 Exactly.

00:31:49.900 I don't know if you saw that video this week from that documentary where like there

00:31:51.900 was.

00:31:52.900 Oh, I saw it.

00:31:53.900 These guys got pulled over by some like Nigerians or something like that.

00:31:56.900 And they're about to like ship them off.

00:31:58.900 And they're like, no, no, no.

00:31:59.900 They're Italian.

00:32:00.900 They're good.

00:32:01.900 I don't need that.

00:32:02.900 I've seen true romance, man.

00:32:04.900 And I am Sicilian.

00:32:05.900 So I know how black I am.

00:32:07.900 Yeah, exactly.

00:32:08.900 I think we need to go back to occasionally.

00:32:10.900 I don't know how we.

00:32:11.900 I don't know how we.

00:32:12.900 Italian accents.

00:32:13.900 Yeah.

00:32:14.900 I don't know how we could coordinate this, but I do think we need to go back to the old

00:32:17.900 ways.

00:32:18.900 And occasionally it'd be great if we could figure a way to coordinate this.

00:32:20.900 Slavery?

00:32:21.900 Yes.

00:32:22.900 That, but also.

00:32:23.900 No, no.

00:32:24.900 You know, you back in the day.

00:32:25.900 Property women. 1.00

00:32:26.900 Whenever Toad bombed in a joke, we would just all go completely silent.

00:32:29.900 All right.

00:32:30.900 I, I, I.

00:32:31.900 No.

00:32:32.900 No.

00:32:33.900 We did overdo it.

00:32:34.900 And when you do it too much.

00:32:35.900 He's like, I would greatly prefer you guys all mock me every time I say a bad joke.

00:32:39.900 Yeah.

00:32:40.900 That was a, that was a Nick thing.

00:32:41.900 And it kind of.

00:32:42.900 Yes, it was.

00:32:43.900 And it was funny in moderation.

00:32:44.900 It corrupted the flow of the episode.

00:32:46.900 Let it sit.

00:32:47.900 The problem is Toad didn't say a bad joke in moderation.

00:32:49.900 So.

00:32:50.900 I need to watch myself.

00:32:51.900 Exactly.

00:32:52.900 I gotta do like once.

00:32:53.900 That's where Nick, Nick went wrong on the show.

00:32:55.900 He started getting like really mean to Toad to the point where, when he saw you at Tom

00:32:59.900 Wood, he slapped you.

00:33:00.900 Right.

00:33:01.900 And I, I feel like I'm right there.

00:33:02.900 He didn't even know about the threesome at that point.

00:33:04.900 It's crazy. 1.00

00:33:05.900 Keep my wife's name out your motherfucking mouth. 1.00

00:33:07.900 He, he, he slapped Cole too. 1.00

00:33:09.900 He slapped you Cole.

00:33:10.900 I'm still keeping the proper level of pity towards Toad, so I'll never be really vicious

00:33:14.900 towards him.

00:33:15.900 No.

00:33:16.900 That's, that's as nice as I can be.

00:33:17.900 All right.

00:33:18.900 What's the next one?

00:33:19.900 What do we got?

00:33:20.900 Yeah, let's do it.

00:33:21.900 All right.

00:33:22.900 So Novum says, last week I got into a 75 mile per hour car accident. 1.00

00:33:27.900 Shit was whack. 0.99

00:33:28.900 Nice. 1.00

00:33:29.900 Y'all's closest death encounter. 0.97

00:33:31.900 I mean, I've, I fucking ran straight into a telephone pole when I was in high school 0.94

00:33:36.900 and I walked it off. 0.97

00:33:37.900 I flipped a car. 1.00

00:33:38.900 Fucking G. 1.00

00:33:39.900 I mean, I, I, I, I talked about mine last week, right? 0.99

00:33:42.900 Yeah.

00:33:43.900 Let's retell that.

00:33:44.900 All 20 painful minutes of it.

00:33:45.900 I had the stroke.

00:33:46.900 I had the, that car accident.

00:33:47.900 We were joking.

00:33:48.900 I was going, I was not going 75 like you, but I was probably going like 40, 50 went right

00:33:53.900 into a telephone pole.

00:33:54.900 Uh, it was like the, the road was kind of slick.

00:33:57.900 It just kind of froze over a little bit. 0.78

00:33:58.900 So it was kind of like a slick road and they fucking came around a corner and I was kind 0.99

00:34:02.900 of being retarded anyways. 0.99

00:34:03.900 And I kind of whoop fucking then right into it. 0.99

00:34:05.900 The funniest part is that like when I got up, like I just walked it off like a G, but 1.00

00:34:08.900 like I completely walked it off fine.

00:34:10.900 But in my head, like literally my vision was flipped and I was just like, Oh, but like

00:34:14.900 me being a dude, just like I'm fine.

00:34:16.900 And I got like, I got like put on this like masculine view of the outside world.

00:34:20.900 I was in a, I had my first car was a Chevy geo tracker and it was a junk. 1.00

00:34:26.900 But like shit. 1.00

00:34:27.900 Yeah. 1.00

00:34:28.900 Yeah. 1.00

00:34:29.900 It was, it was a piece of shit, which those are very like prone to flipping over. 0.99

00:34:33.900 Like they're, they're, uh, they're top heavy. 0.99

00:34:35.900 Um, and also had different size tires on the car as well.

00:34:39.900 And then it had, it was the first rain of the summer.

00:34:41.900 Uh, and so like the roads are like super slick. 0.99

00:34:44.900 This is the type of shit that only someone that's plasma deficient would. 0.99

00:34:47.900 Yeah. 1.00

00:34:48.900 I was going around a corner.

00:34:50.900 Same thing as Jose.

00:34:51.900 And I turned and I felt the back, uh, like passenger tire lift off the ground.

00:34:56.900 And I was like, Oh, and then that thing just flipped, turn me around and I was going,

00:35:00.900 looking the opposite way.

00:35:01.900 And I flipped over into the ditch.

00:35:03.900 The thing was why it was so like life threatening.

00:35:07.900 Like I was close to death because if I went off the other way, it was a hundred foot drop

00:35:11.900 off.

00:35:12.900 Like just down the hill.

00:35:14.900 Yeah.

00:35:15.900 Like it was, I said, I went into like the other way, which was just like a little ditch.

00:35:18.900 And I flipped over and I was literally like upside down.

00:35:23.900 And I, and immediately I just called my mom and I was still like, I was still.

00:35:27.900 Well, you were still upside down.

00:35:28.900 Yeah, I was upside down.

00:35:29.900 And so I called my mom.

00:35:30.900 I was like, Hey, I just had a wreck.

00:35:31.900 And then like, I unhooked my, um, seatbelt and I fell to the other side.

00:35:36.900 She was like, what was that?

00:35:37.900 And I was like, I just unhooked my seatbelt and I just hit the other side of the car.

00:35:40.900 She was like, are you serious?

00:35:41.900 Yeah.

00:35:42.900 Yeah.

00:35:43.900 And it was, uh, um, it was, uh, a convertible.

00:35:46.900 So you could push.

00:35:47.900 So I pushed up against the convertible and crawled out.

00:35:51.900 And then I was like, totally fine.

00:35:53.900 Based.

00:35:54.900 And I was, you know, I was looking at it.

00:35:56.900 Like it's totaled.

00:35:57.900 Throughout this whole crash.

00:35:58.900 I could see him. 0.99

00:35:59.900 I could see Cole with that goofy ass smile. 0.99

00:36:01.900 Yeah. 0.99

00:36:02.900 Yeah. 0.79

00:36:03.900 Like this pretty, this sucks pretty bad. 0.99

00:36:06.900 It's just like, yeah, I was like, I bet that's kind of sucks. 0.90

00:36:09.900 I haven't had a ton of accents, but I've actually had a lot of, I've had way more close calls

00:36:14.900 and like moments where I'm like, I think I'm going to die or something crazy is happening.

00:36:18.900 And I don't know about you guys when you've had moments like that.

00:36:21.900 I mean, this isn't even me trying to like be machismo.

00:36:23.900 Cause I will freak out after the fact, but like, I don't know, maybe it's like from doing sports or shit like that.

00:36:28.900 Like whenever I'm in like a moment like that, I'm always just laser focused. 0.89

00:36:31.900 Like, all right, well, like, I guess if I die, I die.

00:36:34.900 Like right now I'm at hand and I got to deal with whatever's coming to me.

00:36:37.900 You know what?

00:36:38.900 That's a sign of.

00:36:39.900 It means that your, your fight, fight or flight mechanism is actually properly attuned. 0.99

00:36:43.900 It's like a, it's like a soldier's fight or flight for some bitch ass men. 1.00

00:36:47.900 Like if they actually end up in that, they, they, they freeze or they panic or some shit. 0.99

00:36:50.900 But I had the same thing when I shattered my hand, when I went over the handlebars in central park in New York, I, I hit the ground.

00:36:57.900 I saw my hand was sideways and I sat up and I looked at my girlfriend and she's like, are you okay?

00:37:02.900 And I was like, absolutely not.

00:37:03.900 Call the ambulance immediately.

00:37:05.900 Yeah.

00:37:06.900 I said it. 0.99

00:37:07.900 I said it calm as fuck. 0.99

00:37:08.900 And she was like, she starts laughing. 0.99

00:37:09.900 Cause I thought I was playing around.

00:37:10.900 And I was like, and I go to autistic problem solving.

00:37:12.900 The bones sticking out.

00:37:16.900 And I was like, no, I'm not kidding.

00:37:17.900 Please immediately call 911 ambulance immediately. 1.00

00:37:20.900 It's like your rational brain is like, well, what's the point of being a bitch right now? 1.00

00:37:23.900 Like I'm either going to die or I'm not like, I got to get through this. 0.99

00:37:26.900 Exactly.

00:37:27.900 Like you just, it's like, it's game time.

00:37:28.900 It's go time. 0.99

00:37:29.900 There's no bullshit in here. 0.98

00:37:31.900 The only other time was I was coming home from work on the interstate. 1.00

00:37:36.900 And there was a truck came behind me and was being an asshole, like tailgating me and trying to go like, you know, I was already going like 10 over the speed limit and he was right on my ass. 1.00

00:37:47.900 So I was like, all right, fuck this guy. 1.00

00:37:49.900 So I pulled up to the next person and it was only two lanes wide. 0.99

00:37:52.900 So I pulled up next to him and then slowed down to like 65 when it was in a 70, which made him very angry.

00:37:57.900 So he pulled all the way over to the, the shoulder, drove all like went 90 miles an hour to pass and then all the way over to my lane again, and then stomped on his brakes.

00:38:09.900 And so I, that was me, I had to stop on my brakes.

00:38:14.900 And in the middle of the interstate, I spun out and I was facing the wrong direction.

00:38:18.900 And the only, there was nobody coming.

00:38:21.900 Like, and it was, I was facing, like, I could, it was the scary. 0.99

00:38:26.900 I was like, Oh shit.

00:38:27.900 So I, but in my car, in my car, they turn off, obviously, whenever that happened. 0.99

00:38:31.900 So I had to turn it back on and then like drive and turn around in the fucking highway. 0.69

00:38:35.900 Dude, that was, dude, I'm never, I didn't do that to somebody for like a month. 0.97

00:38:40.900 And then I just learned my lesson for 30 days.

00:38:44.900 I had another one that was a pretty close call where I was driving home from work and I was kind of speeding along this like straight stretch that was in this wooded area close to where my parents house is, which is where I was living at the time.

00:38:56.900 I swerved to avoid a squirrel that darted out in front of me and I lost control of my car completely like 180.

00:39:03.900 The car slammed into a tree.

00:39:06.900 I wound up off the road on the right side of it completely spun around the other way.

00:39:10.900 And the tree missed me by like inches.

00:39:12.900 Like it hit like the front driver's side, like real well.

00:39:15.900 You mean you missed the tree?

00:39:17.900 The tree was going for you, man.

00:39:19.900 Yeah. 1.00

00:39:20.900 Goddamn tree came out of nowhere. 1.00

00:39:22.900 Yeah. 1.00

00:39:23.900 It was a matter of inches, man.

00:39:24.900 Good thing that tree didn't have better aim.

00:39:27.900 I think I already told my story, so I'll just save you guys it.

00:39:30.900 It's okay.

00:39:31.900 We'll move on.

00:39:32.900 Next topic.

00:39:33.900 My story, probably on the tracks.

00:39:36.900 Like I was a part of a big, I guess you call it a track explosion.

00:39:40.900 That was a lot of fun.

00:39:41.900 We were just like standing there and somebody, you ever seen a concrete saw?

00:39:46.900 Go on.

00:39:47.900 Like they cut the concrete with.

00:39:49.900 Yeah.

00:39:50.900 We use that to cut rail, but it's like three times larger.

00:39:53.900 And somebody was cutting the third rail while it was live.

00:39:57.900 Okay.

00:39:58.900 Whoa.

00:39:59.900 Yeah.

00:40:00.900 Just freehand.

00:40:01.900 Usually you got a hook. 0.96

00:40:02.900 Don't touch the third rail until it's cooled down a little bit.

00:40:04.900 We all know that you don't need to go outside, you know?

00:40:06.900 Yeah.

00:40:07.900 They're supposed to test to make sure there's not 600 volts going through it.

00:40:11.900 So this guy, he was doing it.

00:40:13.900 And then he said the hair on his arm started to stand up.

00:40:17.900 So he like, let it go.

00:40:18.900 And when he dropped it, it bridged the other rail.

00:40:21.900 So now he made contact and the thing exploded.

00:40:24.900 And I'm just like on the tracks. 0.99

00:40:26.900 And it was like, boom, like a fucking, I was like, Oh my God, I'm dead. 0.99

00:40:29.900 Like right. 0.99

00:40:30.900 Once I saw the fire, I turned this way.

00:40:32.900 Like, there's nowhere to go.

00:40:33.900 And, but just like light, light went by me and it was like the most dead. 0.99

00:40:36.900 I thought I was going to fucking die. 0.52

00:40:38.900 And if I was closer, I probably would have died, but it was actually a train headed towards 0.99

00:40:42.900 you.

00:40:43.900 No, no, no.

00:40:44.900 We know when the trains are coming. 1.00

00:40:45.900 That was fucked up. 1.00

00:40:46.900 Did the other guy die? 1.00

00:40:47.900 No, he had like bad burns on his arm.

00:40:49.900 He some, cause he, he like threw when he threw it, he gave him enough, give himself enough

00:40:53.900 time to like really like get like far enough away.

00:40:56.900 It's just, I guess the explosion seemed more intense cause you're in a tunnel too.

00:40:59.900 And it's just like the whole thing.

00:41:01.900 Yeah.

00:41:02.900 It was intense.

00:41:03.900 You know what's gay about life? 0.93

00:41:04.900 Like that dude should have superpowers now, you know? 0.95

00:41:07.900 Like if you, if you come that close to dying and you get blasted by some sort of electrical 0.97

00:41:12.900 explosion, like why the fuck don't you have electrical power? 0.98

00:41:14.900 He has superpowers. 0.99

00:41:15.900 He doesn't grow hair on his arm anymore.

00:41:18.900 We had a dude on the flight line, uh, back when I like was a mechanic plane airplane,

00:41:22.900 mechanical military.

00:41:23.900 We had a dude who was there that I think he got hit by lightning, but like on the flight

00:41:26.900 line, like something like three times it was retarded. 0.86

00:41:28.900 And it's like, I mean, it was over a long period of time.

00:41:31.900 God wants you gone.

00:41:32.900 It was like a decade, but it's like just every time just like, well, I think he had weird

00:41:37.900 health issues, but it was like, it was just like my big toe hurts sometimes.

00:41:42.900 But that's about it.

00:41:43.900 Yeah.

00:41:44.900 I have a headache every Saturday, but I mean, you are in a large flat.

00:41:48.900 My piss consistently comes out in the two streams. 0.99

00:41:51.900 It really sucks. 0.98

00:41:52.900 I mean, that is one of the worst places to be in a lightning storm. 0.99

00:41:55.900 Like on a fucking, on a big old flight line with airplanes. 0.99

00:41:58.900 Under underneath a lightning bolt. 0.99

00:41:59.900 All that fucking aluminum that is just on. 0.99

00:42:01.900 Wait, does that happen to circumcised dudes? 0.99

00:42:04.900 Like, uh, that, that it comes out in two streams?

00:42:07.900 That happens to you guys?

00:42:08.900 Oh yeah.

00:42:09.900 Yeah.

00:42:10.900 No. 1.00

00:42:11.900 The, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the middle of your penis is stuck together. 1.00

00:42:14.900 Oh yeah. 1.00

00:42:15.900 Yeah.

00:42:16.900 Yeah.

00:42:17.900 Yeah.

00:42:18.900 Like sometimes.

00:42:19.900 I always thought it was, I always thought it was up the middle of your.

00:42:21.900 No, it's leftover load.

00:42:22.900 Where you're kind of like kind of sheathed itself.

00:42:25.900 And it's like, I don't know if maybe like, I don't know if maybe it's cause you're sweaty

00:42:28.900 or what, but then it kind of like sticks and you go to pee and it's kind of cocked

00:42:31.900 off the side.

00:42:32.900 Cause it's kind of like didn't unfurl.

00:42:34.900 Like, you know what I mean?

00:42:35.900 Like it's kind of like stuck to itself.

00:42:36.900 And then you like pee off of the corner. 0.99

00:42:37.900 Unfurling penis. 0.99

00:42:39.900 You know what I mean? 0.98

00:42:40.900 When you're, when it kind of turtle, when it turtles up, you know, and you're not,

00:42:45.900 you haven't like really pulled it out to kind of like.

00:42:47.900 After you go swimming.

00:42:48.900 Yeah.

00:42:49.900 Yeah.

00:42:50.900 It's all turtled up and then you go to pee, but it's kind of like at a weird cock eye.

00:42:53.900 It goes, whoop. 1.00

00:42:54.900 How tiny is your dick? 1.00

00:42:55.900 Like what Travis said. 1.00

00:42:56.900 My dick is so small that like the, the, whenever I get done pissing, it dribbles off my balls. 1.00

00:43:01.900 Like. 1.00

00:43:02.900 You guys ever piss on your nut sack? 1.00

00:43:05.900 Oh, that's a son of a bitch. 1.00

00:43:07.900 Isn't it? 1.00

00:43:08.900 I pissed on my nut sack and I said, whose is this?

00:43:11.900 We had a guy in my soccer team. 1.00

00:43:14.900 We call the dribbles because we saw his dick once and it was like small, but he had huge balls. 1.00

00:43:19.900 I bet you piss on your balls. 1.00

00:43:23.900 We're going to call you dribble. 1.00

00:43:24.900 He's a God.

00:43:25.900 Uh, we have a, we have a friend of ours that, uh, they couldn't get their son's circumcised 1.00

00:43:29.900 because his dick was too small. 1.00

00:43:31.900 Oh, man. 1.00

00:43:32.900 That just like, it's a baby.

00:43:34.900 It should be small.

00:43:35.900 How small is this?

00:43:36.900 Elizabeth saw like, uh, like went over to their house.

00:43:39.900 They had like a play date or something.

00:43:40.900 And she was like, show me a stick.

00:43:42.900 No, no.

00:43:43.900 Like she got changed.

00:43:44.900 Obviously it's a baby.

00:43:45.900 And they were like, and she was like, it is very small.

00:43:48.900 Like it is extremely small.

00:43:50.900 Like I know this is a long silence. 1.00

00:43:52.900 Show me your baby's dick immediately. 1.00

00:43:54.900 Like our two month baby had a bigger penis than this six month old. 1.00

00:43:58.900 I imagine a long silence and sing there. 0.99

00:44:00.900 And then she just goes, you know, I got to see it. 1.00

00:44:04.900 This is going to sound weird, but I need to see that baby's dick right away. 1.00

00:44:07.900 Yeah. 1.00

00:44:08.900 I got to leave soon. 1.00

00:44:09.900 So can you just show me his dick? 1.00

00:44:11.900 It's like the Seinfeld ugly baby. 1.00

00:44:14.900 It's like the unspoken thing, but it's the, it's the baby with the micro penis. 1.00

00:44:18.900 Baby baby dick. 1.00

00:44:19.900 All right. 1.00

00:44:20.900 What else we got little dicky? 1.00

00:44:21.900 We're already at 45.

00:44:22.900 So we probably ought to do one or two more of these.

00:44:24.900 Yeah.

00:44:25.900 And then skip the bracket.

00:44:26.900 That's what I'm trying to do.

00:44:27.900 That's why I'm dragging this out.

00:44:29.900 We're like at this point, I mean, I don't, if you guys really object to it.

00:44:32.900 My baby wasn't actually in the ER last week.

00:44:34.900 I just wanted to skip the bracket.

00:44:36.900 We're in the final four.

00:44:38.900 It's two matchups.

00:44:39.900 I don't want to talk about it. 0.99

00:44:40.900 Just do the next fucking question. 0.99

00:44:42.900 All right. 1.00

00:44:43.900 Keith asks, would you rather munch Hillary Clinton's pussy on Lindsey Graham's body or suck a 1.00

00:44:48.900 Lindsey Graham's dick on Hillary's body? 1.00

00:44:50.900 Oh my God. 1.00

00:44:51.900 Wait, what is the question?

00:44:53.900 What? 1.00

00:44:54.900 If you'd rather, would you rather munch, munch Hillary Clinton's pussy on Lindsey Graham's 1.00

00:45:00.900 soft shitty body? 1.00

00:45:01.900 Are we sure Hillary Clinton has a pussy? 1.00

00:45:02.900 I have to. 1.00

00:45:03.900 Good point.

00:45:04.900 Do you think they mean like Lindsey Graham's body, like almost like centaur type thing,

00:45:08.900 like two things conjoined where it's like Lindsey Graham's body and Hillary Clinton's 1.00

00:45:12.900 pussy? 1.00

00:45:13.900 Oh, or I guess I'd go pussy. 1.00

00:45:16.900 I guess. 1.00

00:45:17.900 Cause. 1.00

00:45:18.900 Hillary Clinton without hair or like, you know, with, and then there's this, uh, fucking 0.99

00:45:23.900 whoever the, I can't remember. 0.99

00:45:25.900 Both awful choices.

00:45:26.900 Obviously it is.

00:45:27.900 It's terrible.

00:45:28.900 Like honestly.

00:45:29.900 And the only, the only thing that can decide this is I'm not gay. 1.00

00:45:32.900 So I'm not going to suck a penis. 1.00

00:45:34.900 Yeah. 1.00

00:45:35.900 Yeah.

00:45:36.900 I see.

00:45:37.900 Andrew Tate.

00:45:38.900 Andrew Tate clarified that that's a very flawed logic, but only if you're dealing with

00:45:41.900 a 10, but you're dealing with a negative five.

00:45:44.900 That's true.

00:45:45.900 That's a good point.

00:45:46.900 You're comparing once, you know, a better question. 1.00

00:45:47.900 A better question would be, would you suck? 1.00

00:45:49.900 Uh, would you suck Lindsey Graham's penis on Lauren Boebert's body? 1.00

00:45:54.900 Yes. 1.00

00:45:55.900 That is a game changer.

00:45:57.900 Now that answer.

00:45:58.900 The answer.

00:45:59.900 I don't need a plan B the answer.

00:46:00.900 Right.

00:46:01.900 Hold on.

00:46:02.900 If I'm thinking, isn't Lauren Boebert the weird looking one? 0.99

00:46:05.900 No, she's cute. 1.00

00:46:06.900 She's probably one of the better looking ones. 1.00

00:46:07.900 She's got kind of crazy bitch eyes, but. 1.00

00:46:09.900 Hold on. 1.00

00:46:10.900 I gotta look at that.

00:46:11.900 No, she's hot. 1.00

00:46:12.900 She's a conservative AOC. 1.00

00:46:13.900 But wait, this question is Hillary Clinton's pussy on Lindsey Graham's body or Lindsey Graham's 1.00

00:46:18.900 dick on Hillary's body? 1.00

00:46:19.900 I am. 1.00

00:46:20.900 I am eating Lindsey Graham's pussy. 1.00

00:46:22.900 That's just facts. 1.00

00:46:23.900 Yeah.

00:46:24.900 It's not even, it's not even.

00:46:25.900 Yeah.

00:46:26.900 Yeah.

00:46:27.900 You would have to, because you have two completely unhot bodies here. 0.98

00:46:30.900 Also.

00:46:31.900 I was against the Andrew Taylor. 1.00

00:46:32.900 Like I was on the, I'll rather fuck a one. 1.00

00:46:35.900 Right. 1.00

00:46:36.900 That's a woman. 1.00

00:46:37.900 Yeah. 1.00

00:46:38.900 You're a true homophobe. 1.00

00:46:39.900 That's a tranny. 1.00

00:46:40.900 100% on the one side.

00:46:41.900 No.

00:46:42.900 Yeah. 1.00

00:46:43.900 You're, you're a fucking massive homophobe. 1.00

00:46:44.900 Yeah. 1.00

00:46:45.900 You'd rather, you'd rather fuck Hulk Hogan with a pussy. 1.00

00:46:47.900 I am super straight. 1.00

00:46:48.900 Hulk Hogan with a pussy. 1.00

00:46:49.900 Yeah. 1.00

00:46:50.900 That's, no, that's actually gay.

00:46:51.900 No, see. 0.98

00:46:52.900 That is gay. 1.00

00:46:53.900 I think it's objectively gayer. 1.00

00:46:54.900 It is gayer. 1.00

00:46:55.900 It's just, I'm sorry, but Hulk Hogan bring that situation is less gay than fucking pussy. 1.00

00:47:01.900 It is absolutely gayer for sure. 1.00

00:47:04.900 I don't know.

00:47:05.900 I mean, I guess. 1.00

00:47:06.900 Think about the leg muscles and like the butt muscles he has around his pussy that are 1.00

00:47:09.900 all tan. 1.00

00:47:10.900 Oh yeah, brother. 1.00

00:47:11.900 I think the funniest part to me was, uh, blow out that pussy brother. 1.00

00:47:16.900 Fucking Shane Gillis talks about the first time he watched tranny porn. 1.00

00:47:19.900 He just legs drop, leg drops your dick. 1.00

00:47:21.900 The first time he watched tranny porn. 1.00

00:47:23.900 Yeah. 0.97

00:47:24.900 The first time Shane Gillis talked about, he said, I watched tranny porn once because,

00:47:28.900 uh, Madness Cusker got, really got into it for some reason.

00:47:31.900 Uh, for some reason.

00:47:32.900 But, and he said he couldn't get into it because he would see the clavicles and they

00:47:37.900 were obviously men's clavicles.

00:47:38.900 And he was like, that took me out of it immediately. 0.99

00:47:41.900 It wasn't the dicks. 0.99

00:47:42.900 It was the clavicles. 1.00

00:47:43.900 He was like, I could tell it was a man because he had the fucking bony, like, like nice developed 1.00

00:47:50.900 traps and shit. 1.00

00:47:51.900 Like it was obviously not a woman. 1.00

00:47:54.900 It's not the wiener. 0.89

00:47:55.900 It's the musculature that really throws it off.

00:47:57.900 It's honestly, to me, it would be the hands.

00:48:00.900 Cause there's no, like, no matter what happens, men, like women and men have just different 1.00

00:48:05.900 hands, no matter how fucking feminine you are of a, of a man or mainly or a woman. 0.99

00:48:09.900 Like they still, I knew a girl, girl gave me a hand job, big old manly hands. 1.00

00:48:12.900 It fucking, it was the most emasculating experience of my life. 0.99

00:48:15.900 Yeah. 1.00

00:48:16.900 Did it make your dick feel small? 1.00

00:48:17.900 Like she was just like holding like a, like a number. 0.99

00:48:19.900 But did also, I feel like it might be better because it was like, it's kind of like my

00:48:22.900 hands. 0.99

00:48:23.900 It's like, it's like me giving myself a jerk. 0.99

00:48:25.900 No. 0.99

00:48:26.900 Her hands were bigger than mine.

00:48:27.900 I didn't like it at all.

00:48:28.900 I don't know.

00:48:29.900 That's one of my biggest fears. 0.98

00:48:31.900 Like, like a construction dude, like just jerking me off. 0.99

00:48:34.900 Like, I don't want it. 0.95

00:48:35.900 And it's just like the feeling of like, you know, you ever shake a guy's hand and he's

00:48:38.900 got like a big muscle, like, like here by his thumb.

00:48:41.900 Yeah.

00:48:42.900 It was kind of callous. 0.99

00:48:43.900 And that feel like the thought of that against my penis really, really makes me uncomfortable. 0.99

00:48:47.900 Now I had, but I disagree with your, your hypothesis though. 0.99

00:48:52.900 Cool.

00:48:53.900 I have shook many, maybe it's cause I have big old leathery paws, but like I've shook

00:48:58.900 in many a man's hands where I'm like, like I really could like, wouldn't be able to differentiate

00:49:03.900 between a woman's hand. 1.00

00:49:04.900 Yeah.

00:49:05.900 Yeah.

00:49:06.900 Toad doesn't have that hand.

00:49:07.900 No.

00:49:08.900 Toad's hands.

00:49:09.900 Look at those soft hands.

00:49:10.900 I got some soft, soft mitts, dude.

00:49:12.900 Dude, I'm like a hand model.

00:49:13.900 I have tiny hands.

00:49:14.900 So I have like Trump hands. 0.81

00:49:16.900 Anthony Samaroff's hand was very, it was like a bag of bones.

00:49:19.900 Yeah.

00:49:20.900 Jack Casey.

00:49:21.900 No, Jack Casey. 0.97

00:49:22.900 Samaroff is a bag of bones. 0.57

00:49:24.900 Yeah.

00:49:25.900 That's what his hands, his hands felt like, like, and, and Jack, uh, Lloyd, same thing.

00:49:29.900 Actually the philosopher had a firmer handshake than her husband.

00:49:32.900 It was very weird.

00:49:33.900 Samaroff.

00:49:34.900 I felt like I could like, I could grab him by his arm and just start to like King Kong

00:49:39.900 slime him.

00:49:40.900 Yeah.

00:49:41.900 He's like five and threes.

00:49:42.900 I've always like, that's probably one of the coolest like fantasies I've had in my head

00:49:47.900 is getting in a fight with, uh, someone that I can overpower to such an extent to where

00:49:51.900 I can literally just, just like.

00:49:53.900 Yeah.

00:49:54.900 That's why I think about kids all the time.

00:49:55.900 Yeah.

00:49:56.900 I mean, I don't think you do one hand, but yeah, kid to be super easy. 1.00

00:49:59.900 Like, I told her you dumb bitch. 1.00

00:50:03.900 I told her you show, but I have a new fear. 1.00

00:50:05.900 Um, and it's because the dream I had that I got raped by, uh, the redheaded libertarian. 0.99

00:50:10.900 Uh, yeah. 0.99

00:50:11.900 Yeah.

00:50:12.900 Yeah.

00:50:13.900 Why?

00:50:14.900 Oh, she just showed up. 1.00

00:50:16.900 I did not see her in the chat, but that did. 0.69

00:50:22.900 She tried to rape me in, uh, in my dream and it was very weird. 0.71

00:50:26.900 This is where gingers come from. 0.99

00:50:27.900 That's how it happens. 1.00

00:50:28.900 It's all like inception dream shit. 0.99

00:50:30.900 Yeah. 1.00

00:50:31.900 She got into your, come in your dreams. 0.87

00:50:33.900 And then too, and she, she was like, how did this get here? 1.00

00:50:36.900 She was talking shit about my wife. 1.00

00:50:38.900 And then like, she was like, you know what? 1.00

00:50:40.900 Fuck her so much. 1.00

00:50:42.900 She, I swear to God. 1.00

00:50:44.900 I like to imagine you just jumped in and it's like, what the fuck? 1.00

00:50:47.900 Every week when I tell her, don't come back here. 0.99

00:50:49.900 She was like, um, that timing was uncanny.

00:50:52.900 What was she saying to your wife? 0.98

00:50:53.900 She left my house.

00:50:54.900 She was in my house for some reason. 1.00

00:50:55.900 That's where she raped me. 1.00

00:50:56.900 And then. 1.00

00:50:57.900 Oh, I like, I like how pre-show you're like, she tried to rape me. 0.99

00:51:01.900 And now. 0.98

00:51:02.900 No, no, no.

00:51:03.900 She did.

00:51:04.900 No.

00:51:05.900 She tried.

00:51:06.900 And then she did. 1.00

00:51:07.900 They raped you. 1.00

00:51:08.900 I didn't have a sex dream about Josie. 1.00

00:51:11.900 I was raped by her in my dream. 0.99

00:51:13.900 I was like, no, please stop. 1.00

00:51:15.900 I have a wife.

00:51:16.900 Stop.

00:51:17.900 Can you imagine the real world situation?

00:51:21.900 Cause this isn't something that would ever really happen for a dude.

00:51:24.900 Like, I can't imagine if like, if an actual attractive woman like came on to me to that 0.99

00:51:31.900 level to where it was almost borderline rapey.

00:51:34.900 Like, it's like, it's almost like, how do you even say no? 1.00

00:51:38.900 Like they start whipping their titties out and shit. 0.99

00:51:40.900 And you're like, I mean, like, yeah, I get it. 1.00

00:51:42.900 A mirror, like all that.

00:51:43.900 But it's like, oh, I mean, it's right there. 0.94

00:51:46.900 I had a girl that tried to rape me that I turned down. 1.00

00:51:50.900 No, no bullshit. 1.00

00:51:51.900 Well, fucking that's how did she try to rape you? 1.00

00:51:53.900 Like, how does that work? 1.00

00:51:54.900 How would that work?

00:51:55.900 She was, she was punching me. 1.00

00:51:56.900 She was like hitting me and biting me and shit. 1.00

00:51:58.900 And she was drunk. 1.00

00:51:59.900 You know, she thought it was like, like foreplay or something.

00:52:02.900 And I was like, yo, I don't like this at all.

00:52:05.900 Stop hitting me.

00:52:07.900 So then she like bites me. 1.00

00:52:08.900 And I was like, and I grabbed her by her hands.

00:52:10.900 Cause she was like cocking back to swing. 1.00

00:52:12.900 And I was like, look, we're not playing around. 0.94

00:52:14.900 Like, I'm going to kick you out of my house right now.

00:52:15.900 Is it justified?

00:52:16.900 If you don't chill out.

00:52:17.900 Is it justified?

00:52:18.900 Yeah, exactly.

00:52:19.900 No, I never, I never hit her.

00:52:20.900 But then I did ask her to leave. 1.00

00:52:21.900 And she was like, she was like, I was going to fuck you. 1.00

00:52:23.900 I was like, I know. 1.00

00:52:24.900 But like, that's not my kink at all.

00:52:26.900 Oh my God.

00:52:27.900 But she was hot too. 0.99

00:52:28.900 But just totally out of her mind.

00:52:30.900 I was like, like, this is a rape charge waiting to happen. 1.00

00:52:32.900 I'm in this fucking mansion on the water in Carlsbad. 0.99

00:52:34.900 I didn't even finish my dreams that I had. 1.00

00:52:36.900 Yeah, I was in the corner jerking off. 1.00

00:52:38.900 She did rape me. 1.00

00:52:39.900 Dope. 1.00

00:52:40.900 And I'm pretty sure I did cum, which is very weird. 0.99

00:52:42.900 Hell yeah, dude. 0.81

00:52:43.900 Yeah, but that doesn't mean that it was good.

00:52:46.900 That was the question was, was I good? 0.97

00:52:48.900 Dude, if you cum in your dream, it's good. 0.94

00:52:50.900 But what happened then afterwards- 0.89

00:52:52.900 The dream is good. 0.98

00:52:53.900 Dude, you cum in your dream? 0.99

00:52:54.900 Yes. 1.00

00:52:55.900 Yes.

00:52:56.900 Because I don't think I've ever cum in my dream. 0.55

00:52:58.900 Oh, wait. 0.97

00:52:59.900 Have you had a wet dream?

00:53:00.900 I don't think I have. 0.90

00:53:01.900 I didn't cum in real life.

00:53:02.900 Oh. 0.99

00:53:03.900 In the dream she raped me. 0.99

00:53:04.900 No, no. 0.99

00:53:05.900 Everybody knows. 0.98

00:53:06.900 If you cum in your dreams, you cum in real life. 0.98

00:53:07.900 Real quick. 0.99

00:53:08.900 Have any of you guys-

00:53:09.900 It's like- 1.00

00:53:10.900 When they wake up and there's like a little spot and it wakes you up, you're like, fuck! 1.00

00:53:13.900 Yeah. 0.99

00:53:14.900 Oh, yeah.

00:53:15.900 But please, please stay on track here. 0.99

00:53:17.900 So you cum. 0.98

00:53:18.900 And then what happened after that is to mark her territory- 0.98

00:53:20.900 How did she do it?

00:53:21.900 There was a pile of clothes-

00:53:23.900 There was a pile of clothes besides her- 1.00

00:53:25.900 Shut the fuck up. 1.00

00:53:26.900 She's just riffing hard to avoid the bracket, but go on. 1.00

00:53:30.900 To mark her territory, there was a pile of clothes besides our, like, front door that she pissed on and then put my cum on. 1.00

00:53:37.900 And then somehow, I was just like, I can't let Elizabeth see this because she'll know that I got raped. 0.99

00:53:46.900 She'd be more mad that you got raped than- 1.00

00:53:49.900 I can smell the menstruation. 1.00

00:53:51.900 I couldn't-

00:53:52.900 Did you fight-

00:53:53.900 Come on, did you fight?

00:53:54.900 Did you fight back?

00:53:55.900 Like, I don't think you fought back.

00:53:56.900 Well, I think I was, like, incapacitated.

00:53:58.900 I think I was either very drunk-

00:54:00.900 Because, like, I couldn't-

00:54:01.900 I could only talk- 0.99

00:54:02.900 My dick took control. 0.99

00:54:03.900 It was also, like, in the streams where you can't, like, punch, like, or anything. 1.00

00:54:06.900 So you're, like, very slow.

00:54:07.900 Where you have-

00:54:08.900 Sleep paralysis.

00:54:09.900 Yes.

00:54:10.900 Sleep paralysis.

00:54:11.900 Josie, he thought about punching you in his dreams. 0.93

00:54:13.900 Oh my god, Josie's his sleep paralysis demon. 0.97

00:54:16.900 Wait, you realize-

00:54:18.900 Wait, she's mine too.

00:54:19.900 That's so strange. 1.00

00:54:20.900 Oh shit! 1.00

00:54:21.900 I didn't even see him say that. 1.00

00:54:22.900 I mean, kind of, because she also seemed even, like, skinnier and, like, whiter.

00:54:27.900 Which is very weird.

00:54:28.900 She was, like, even, like-

00:54:29.900 She was, like, super white and very skinny. 0.93

00:54:31.900 And it was-

00:54:32.900 Oh, dude, it was-

00:54:33.900 Did you come?

00:54:34.900 Where did you come?

00:54:35.900 Where did you come?

00:54:36.900 Pretty sure.

00:54:37.900 In her.

00:54:38.900 I don't know.

00:54:39.900 Oh my god. 1.00

00:54:40.900 You reckless dog, you. 1.00

00:54:41.900 And then she, like, walked over in the corner of the room like a demon and just- 1.00

00:54:43.900 And then pissed on it and was like-

00:54:44.900 And then pissed on it and was like-

00:54:47.900 And I'm not lying to you.

00:54:48.900 She was like-

00:54:49.900 That's so sick. 1.00

00:54:50.900 She was like, fuck your wife. 1.00

00:54:52.900 And then she left. 1.00

00:54:53.900 I thought- 0.99

00:54:54.900 I thought Josie was crazy, but this is the coolest shit she's ever, like- 0.99

00:54:59.900 Like, uh- 0.99

00:55:00.900 What do you say?

00:55:01.900 Theoretically done.

00:55:02.900 Theoretically done.

00:55:03.900 This is a cool-

00:55:04.900 You'll never do anything that cool.

00:55:05.900 Uh, Dickie called out, she's a succubus. 1.00

00:55:07.900 And she, uh- 1.00

00:55:08.900 Yeah, that is-

00:55:09.900 That is literally the, like-

00:55:10.900 That is definitely a succubus.

00:55:11.900 That is actually what they do. 1.00

00:55:12.900 They come to men in their dreams, they rape them, and then they take their children off 1.00

00:55:16.900 to hell or wherever the fuck- 1.00

00:55:17.900 Josie is a siren. 1.00

00:55:18.900 Dude, Josie-

00:55:19.900 Yes, a siren.

00:55:20.900 Like a mermaid. 0.99

00:55:21.900 Yeah, wow. 0.99

00:55:22.900 That's fucking cute. 0.98

00:55:23.900 I woke up and I was like, I can't talk about this. 0.99

00:55:25.900 Dude, Josie would make a good succubus. 1.00

00:55:27.900 Hold on.

00:55:28.900 I imagine a monster transformation where she gets more gone. 0.67

00:55:30.900 I do want to say, I did not want it to happen.

00:55:32.900 Like, her piercing eyes.

00:55:33.900 Like, that would actually be terrifying.

00:55:34.900 If you made her, like, almost holocaust skinny and kind of more elongated- 0.99

00:55:36.900 Did her hair float around like it was in water? 0.65

00:55:38.900 Oh my god, that'd be terrifying.

00:55:40.900 You could throw some makeup on her. 0.98

00:55:41.900 When she spoke to him, she just like opened her mouth and it was like-

00:55:45.900 This is odd.

00:55:47.900 Like, he understood her telepathically.

00:55:49.900 But all he heard was-

00:55:50.900 Dude, come now. 0.99

00:55:51.900 Come now.

00:55:52.900 This is odd.

00:55:53.900 Yo, you might have actually-

00:55:54.900 Listen, okay, I don't want to freak you out, but I have heard stories of people having 0.98

00:55:58.900 dreams like this, but they're like having sexual relations with a demon. 0.99

00:56:03.900 Straight up. 1.00

00:56:04.900 Dude said he could summon it all the time.

00:56:05.900 Dude, in like 10 years.

00:56:07.900 Oh my god, someone photoshopped that.

00:56:13.900 Give her like the blue eyes, the red. 0.97

00:56:16.900 Dude, did you realize-

00:56:17.900 I think that, you know, think about this.

00:56:20.900 Like, in this dream, Cole, you know, he's drunk.

00:56:23.900 There's another woman involved and there's piss involved. 1.00

00:56:28.900 He's like subconsciously thinking about the-

00:56:31.900 Oh my god, I didn't think about the ginger aspect. 0.97

00:56:33.900 She is a demon. 1.00

00:56:34.900 But he replaced Toad with Josie's dream. 0.97

00:56:37.900 Smart move.

00:56:38.900 Giga Chad Josie.

00:56:39.900 My second ginger baby.

00:56:40.900 Dude, in like 10 years, your little demon baby is going to come to your dream.

00:56:44.900 Like, why'd you leave me, daddy?

00:56:46.900 Hey! 0.99

00:56:47.900 Why did you shoot me onto those clothes, daddy?

00:56:50.900 Wait.

00:56:51.900 Yeah, exactly.

00:56:52.900 So Josie is actually, yeah, Cole's child's mother?

00:56:57.900 Is that what we're saying?

00:56:58.900 I think that's right.

00:56:59.900 Oh my god.

00:57:00.900 Did you tell Elizabeth this after the fact?

00:57:02.900 No.

00:57:03.900 Like I said, I woke up and I was like, I can't talk about this.

00:57:04.900 She's finding out right now with us.

00:57:06.900 Yeah.

00:57:07.900 I just thought about it when I got on here.

00:57:08.900 I was like, oh, I forgot that this happened.

00:57:11.900 That's rad, dude. 0.98

00:57:12.900 By the way, he got raped in my dreams by a demon. 1.00

00:57:14.900 Jose Top, would you tell your wives if you had a dream about getting raped? 1.00

00:57:19.900 No. 0.99

00:57:20.900 I mean, I wouldn't be scared of telling her, but I just wouldn't care to tell her.

00:57:24.900 Yeah.

00:57:25.900 Have you ever met her?

00:57:26.900 I'm not a woman, so I don't think anything of this.

00:57:29.900 Like, where they do. 1.00

00:57:30.900 If they have a dream about you, they wake up and they're like, you fucking bastard. 1.00

00:57:34.900 And like, I didn't do anything. 1.00

00:57:35.900 That's your dream.

00:57:36.900 It means nothing.

00:57:37.900 So to me, it didn't mean anything.

00:57:38.900 It was just very weird.

00:57:39.900 And I was very freaked.

00:57:42.900 In the dream, I was extremely upset.

00:57:45.900 Now all I'm going to say, what did she say about Elizabeth specifically? 1.00

00:57:48.900 No, she was literally like, fuck your wife. 1.00

00:57:50.900 She was like, and then that's why she pissed. 1.00

00:57:52.900 And she was like, she's going to know I was here.

00:57:54.900 And she pissed on it.

00:57:55.900 I love how you're trying to get into all the vivid details of a dream.

00:57:59.900 I remember vividly.

00:58:00.900 You need specific transcripts.

00:58:02.900 Now all I'm going to think of.

00:58:03.900 Josie, I am so sorry.

00:58:05.900 Toad's like, please come tonight.

00:58:07.900 Toad's like, please come tonight.

00:58:08.900 Please.

00:58:09.900 Yeah.

00:58:10.900 Yeah.

00:58:11.900 Come for me and my dreams, please.

00:58:13.900 No, you will come for her. 1.00

00:58:14.900 The Josie demon comes into his dream and he was like, I'm going to rape you. 1.00

00:58:17.900 And he's like, you don't. 0.99

00:58:18.900 It's not rape.

00:58:19.900 I want it. 0.68

00:58:20.900 Like, I want it now.

00:58:21.900 The demon's kind of like off.

00:58:22.900 He's like, you know what?

00:58:23.900 Nevermind. 0.99

00:58:24.900 She's the rape headed libertarian. 1.00

00:58:27.900 Oh, yeah. 0.98

00:58:28.900 Dickie does have night terrors.

00:58:30.900 He says he does have an actual, like, he has sleep paralysis.

00:58:32.900 And he sees like.

00:58:33.900 But that's just because he was in Vietnam. 0.99

00:58:34.900 I feel like Dickie makes shit up. 0.99

00:58:35.900 Like, it's real. 0.99

00:58:38.900 My roommate in college did have sleep paralysis, which is very weird.

00:58:44.900 Oh, God, Keith.

00:58:46.900 Thanks, man.

00:58:47.900 Good for you, buddy.

00:58:49.900 A guy that looks that weird, I'm not shocked.

00:58:53.900 I had a dream with one of my best friends.

00:58:56.900 That was a natural silence right there.

00:58:57.900 Sorry.

00:58:58.900 I had a, I had a, I think I, I thought it was a nightmare. 0.80

00:59:01.900 Cause I had a, a sex dream with one of my best friends, a guy.

00:59:04.900 And I was like, this is all I like. 0.53

00:59:06.900 I woke up and like for weeks I was like, am I gay?

00:59:09.900 Yes. 0.73

00:59:10.900 You guys rolled over face each other.

00:59:11.900 Like, did you have that dream?

00:59:12.900 Yeah.

00:59:13.900 That dream too.

00:59:14.900 That was so good. 1.00

00:59:17.900 Oh, Clint is definitely gay. 0.97

00:59:20.900 No, no, no.

00:59:21.900 I really didn't want it though. 1.00

00:59:22.900 Your penis is inside someone else. 1.00

00:59:23.900 And that's why I'm complaining. 1.00

00:59:24.900 Dick was inside the other man, the other dude's ass. 1.00

00:59:27.900 Well, we were having a sleepover and I did wake up. 1.00

00:59:29.900 Yeah.

00:59:30.900 That was a toad call.

00:59:31.900 That was a toad. 0.97

00:59:32.900 All right.

00:59:33.900 Let's, uh, let's do these two bracket matchups. 0.99

00:59:34.900 So we don't.

00:59:35.900 So we, so we, so we don't.

00:59:36.900 All right.

00:59:37.900 Let's go guys.

00:59:38.900 So that we don't.

00:59:39.900 We're at an hour.

00:59:40.900 Unironically plugs would be a good time right now.

00:59:42.900 80% of the podcast is.

00:59:44.900 Plugs.

00:59:45.900 Hell yeah.

00:59:46.900 Plugs.

00:59:47.900 Plugs and leave.

00:59:48.900 That's not true.

00:59:49.900 Ask the audience.

00:59:50.900 Like we did last week.

00:59:51.900 It's two matchups.

00:59:52.900 Well, the host of Liberty Lockdown.

00:59:54.900 And I just said, I'm Carol Roth, former investment banker.

00:59:56.900 Make sure you check that out.

00:59:58.900 Uh, Clint Russell over on Liberty Lockdown.

01:00:00.900 Over 3,100 followers on rumble.

01:00:02.900 My goodness.

01:00:03.900 And by the way, my channel will have a strike drop off of it on YouTube on April 7th.

01:00:08.900 I will be able to publish on YouTube once again, but keep growing on rumble folks.

01:00:12.900 Thank you so much for checking us out.

01:00:14.900 We'll be right back.

01:00:15.900 We'll be right back.

01:00:16.900 We'll be right back.

01:00:17.900 I'll be right back.

01:00:18.900 I love to do that.

01:00:19.900 1% of YouTube.

01:00:20.900 2% of the major auto podcatchers.

01:00:21.900 Odyssyy as well.

01:00:22.900 Uh, so far as like recent episodes or upcoming stuff, I don't really have anything big.

01:00:24.900 Uh, I do have my recent Yeeky episode.

01:00:26.900 You can see right there.

01:00:27.900 I, uh.

01:00:28.900 Not Yeeky. 0.59

01:00:29.900 That was actually about Tryndu.

01:00:30.900 Uh, you don't have to watch the whole series for that episode.

01:00:31.900 That's a good stand alone episode.

01:00:32.900 I highly recommend it.

01:00:34.900 Um, that's about passed Tryndu.

01:00:36.900 But I do have a big appearance coming up. 0.99

01:00:39.840 It was supposed to be Sunday, but Dave is a beautiful retard that fucking fucked up and double scheduled. 1.00

01:00:45.780 So I will be on Tuesday, this upcoming Tuesday. 0.99

01:00:49.640 I don't know the date is up on my head.

01:00:51.160 To talk about the Oklahoma City bombing to yours truly, Dave Smith, of part of the problem.

01:00:57.300 Do you think he knows about what happened?

01:00:59.560 About the Oklahoma City bombing?

01:01:01.020 I think he has something.

01:01:01.400 Like it happened?

01:01:02.800 Like it happened at all.

01:01:05.400 You think he's ever heard about it?

01:01:06.540 I mean, no, seriously, tell me about it.

01:01:08.620 He's like, there was a bombing in Oklahoma City in the 90s?

01:01:12.180 Like I totally missed that.

01:01:14.020 I forgot to mention, I'll be in Washington State this weekend.

01:01:17.540 So if anybody's in Washington State, don't come out to see me speak at the LP Washington.

01:01:21.940 You're dead to me and you're not allowed to watch the show anymore.

01:01:24.280 That's right. 0.99

01:01:24.780 Hell yeah.

01:01:26.440 TopLobster.com, Top Lobster on Twitter.

01:01:28.720 Follow me on Twitter and other places.

01:01:31.100 Little Dickie, I know it's the last second.

01:01:32.840 Can you pull up MerchEngine.com?

01:01:36.620 We're, we've rebranded PodcastMerch.com.

01:01:40.640 I spent hours and hours working on this new thing.

01:01:43.100 I'm much better branding.

01:01:43.640 Sorry, go on.

01:01:44.360 You do this basically by yourself, right?

01:01:47.020 What's that?

01:01:48.300 The new PodcastMerch or MerchEngine.com, whatever.

01:01:51.380 Well, a lot of design, yeah.

01:01:53.500 But I had some, some other guy help me.

01:01:54.980 There's another guy that's doing website design and stuff, but yeah, we're really working on

01:01:58.940 revamping this.

01:01:59.720 We've seized the means of production.

01:02:01.040 We're really doing big things here.

01:02:02.900 So go check that out and support it.

01:02:05.280 If you like me or...

01:02:06.380 First, it'd be cool.

01:02:07.060 Go back up.

01:02:07.380 I like it.

01:02:07.840 Yeah, those are...

01:02:09.380 COVID, no, up.

01:02:11.240 One more. 1.00

01:02:12.460 Damn! 1.00

01:02:12.620 Oh yeah, Michael. 1.00

01:02:13.440 That's Michael Malice.

01:02:14.880 Michael Malice wore that shirt on Joe Rogan.

01:02:17.960 So go pick that up.

01:02:20.140 That's my plugs.

01:02:21.060 Hell yeah.

01:02:21.760 All right.

01:02:23.780 Fat Comic Dave on Twitter.

01:02:25.320 Go check out...

01:02:26.200 We just, we actually did a tower this week, and it was actually one of the coolest towers

01:02:30.700 that we've ever done.

01:02:32.160 Loved it.

01:02:32.600 It was on Brianna Wu, which I would love to actually figure out what was actually happening

01:02:38.380 because with Linus Tech Tips, apparently there was, someone said the N-word, and I think

01:02:43.580 that was really funny, but just go follow me there, and also Fat Comic Dave, and Tower

01:02:48.200 Game Colt on Twitter.

01:02:49.060 Yeah.

01:02:49.640 Full credit to Toad, by the way.

01:02:51.400 That was his...

01:02:52.040 I know I start off the tower, but it was because he had a typo on it. 0.98

01:02:54.840 That was his brainchild, and it was goddamn brilliant. 0.83

01:02:57.800 You get the N-word and the R-word in the same... 0.99

01:02:59.780 Thank you.

01:02:59.900 It was just...

01:03:01.040 It was masterful.

01:03:01.800 Same amount of letters.

01:03:02.920 It was twin towers. 0.99

01:03:03.560 For pussies out there, you know, for those who actually want to use it. 0.99

01:03:06.120 It was... 0.98

01:03:07.040 It was the first time I found out that those two words have the same amount of letters.

01:03:12.540 Like, I never put it together before this.

01:03:14.840 It was twin towers, baby. 0.99

01:03:16.840 It was a nigger retard tower all in one. 1.00

01:03:21.200 Brianna Wu, she's, I don't know, some insane person. 1.00

01:03:23.840 Person from Boston.

01:03:25.160 Let's have that discussion after the plugs, but what plugs we got?

01:03:29.200 Tower Game Toad, follow Tower Game Pod everywhere.

01:03:32.580 Sign up for the Patreon, patreon.com slash Tower Game Pod.

01:03:35.780 We're Tower Game Pod on YouTube, on Rumble, and...

01:03:39.300 How many supporters do we have? 0.99

01:03:40.600 I think we're still Tower Power Hour and Odyssey, but fuck Odyssey. 0.99

01:03:43.680 How many supporters do we have? 0.99

01:03:44.820 I believe it's...

01:03:46.660 I don't know the number of supporters, but...

01:03:49.520 Well, then you can't answer me.

01:03:50.680 36?

01:03:51.100 36? 0.99

01:03:51.720 Holy shit, that's awesome. 1.00

01:03:53.420 Right, you guys are idiots. 1.00

01:03:54.560 That's pretty cool, though. 1.00

01:03:56.300 Thank you to the... 0.77

01:03:57.160 Yeah, those 36 retards. 1.00

01:03:59.040 We love you guys. 0.70

01:04:00.100 Yeah, God bless. 0.98

01:04:01.560 Go to fucking libertylockdown.locals.com. 1.00

01:04:03.380 Support me, you fucking scum. 1.00

01:04:04.480 You're sending money to this retard show. 1.00

01:04:06.900 Now, I'm telling you. 0.98

01:04:10.180 Throw it to the audience, by the way, about the bracket.

01:04:12.480 We have two decisions to make now at this point.

01:04:15.080 Toad, what are they?

01:04:16.240 What are the two?

01:04:16.940 Sandy Hook versus...

01:04:18.640 Sandy Hook.

01:04:19.440 All right.

01:04:19.860 Everybody, Sandy Hook?

01:04:20.940 I'm going with Sandy Hook. 0.97

01:04:22.080 Yeah, Sandy Hook.

01:04:22.980 All right.

01:04:23.920 We did.

01:04:24.280 Sandy Hook was on.

01:04:24.940 Wow.

01:04:25.240 It's done.

01:04:25.820 Wow.

01:04:26.300 Sandy Hook.

01:04:26.440 On the other side, I'm going Vegas.

01:04:28.940 Sandy Hook.

01:04:30.180 Price.

01:04:30.540 Yes, and Vegas.

01:04:31.560 That's fine.

01:04:32.000 Sandy Hook and Vegas.

01:04:32.660 All right, next topic.

01:04:34.500 Price.

01:04:34.740 Vegas.

01:04:35.240 Okay, Vegas wins. 0.95

01:04:36.560 Yes.

01:04:36.820 Sandy Hook, Vegas.

01:04:37.840 Yeah.

01:04:38.800 Okay.

01:04:39.080 All right.

01:04:39.460 Wow.

01:04:40.360 You want to pick the winner?

01:04:41.300 I say Sandy Hook.

01:04:42.700 Way to suck the fun out of it.

01:04:44.880 What little fun there is.

01:04:46.300 I get you were having fun, but Jesus Christ.

01:04:48.100 I mean, there is some fun to it.

01:04:49.760 Yeah.

01:04:49.880 No, that was tremendously fun to me.

01:04:51.880 You want to pick the champion, too?

01:04:53.420 Yeah.

01:04:54.880 Oh, that's going to be tough.

01:04:56.160 I'm going to go...

01:04:56.740 No, it's not.

01:04:57.780 I'm going to say...

01:04:58.900 I'll go Sandy Hook. 0.94

01:05:00.360 Sandy Hook as well, for the sole reason,

01:05:02.660 that it never happened, so we're not saying

01:05:04.760 that a mass shooting...

01:05:05.520 No explanation.

01:05:06.480 So, I was over here like,

01:05:07.280 this is a real...

01:05:07.720 I'm going to go with Christchurch for that one.

01:05:09.180 Christchurch is, like, so cool.

01:05:12.120 And, I mean, like...

01:05:13.100 Then, why didn't you look for it in the last round, 1.00

01:05:15.040 you piece of shit? 1.00

01:05:16.020 What? 1.00

01:05:16.760 I do love that...

01:05:18.260 They already chose Vegas.

01:05:19.180 This is a real barn burner we got going on here.

01:05:21.920 Yeah, that's right.

01:05:23.600 The winner is clearly Vegas.

01:05:26.000 I don't know.

01:05:26.320 Is it?

01:05:27.220 Yeah.

01:05:27.540 Now we're...

01:05:28.020 Christchurch is, like, a through and through, like...

01:05:31.660 We don't know what Christchurch, too.

01:05:33.040 It was just me and you, buddy.

01:05:34.080 We got outvoted.

01:05:35.380 Yeah, that's over.

01:05:36.460 Yeah, it was Vegas.

01:05:37.240 I mean, now we're talking Sandy Hook versus Vegas.

01:05:39.520 Right.

01:05:39.740 And I say Vegas for no reason.

01:05:41.160 I don't care.

01:05:42.100 Vegas.

01:05:44.020 All right, so we're at 2-2 now?

01:05:46.120 I said Sandy Hook.

01:05:46.700 I'd just rather we wouldn't have done it at all

01:05:48.400 if it was going to be like this. 0.99

01:05:49.820 That was the whole fucking point! 1.00

01:05:52.540 Don't do it! 1.00

01:05:53.580 Vegas.

01:05:53.880 Hey, so I think Vegas did...

01:05:57.500 I think Cole fell asleep.

01:05:58.920 I don't know what I'm out.

01:05:59.480 I'm watching...

01:06:00.560 Vegas won.

01:06:01.360 Vegas just won 3-2.

01:06:02.900 I talked about it before the show,

01:06:04.300 but now I'm just looking at Michael Hearn.

01:06:08.100 By the way! 0.69

01:06:09.100 Because they're funnier than this.

01:06:11.220 So, Top's artwork on this is awesome, by the way.

01:06:14.360 I thought that this idea was pretty funny

01:06:16.980 because I wanted to do something that was, like,

01:06:18.480 an offensive, you know, tournament of some kind

01:06:22.720 during March Madness.

01:06:24.080 The shooting aspect of it is, you know,

01:06:26.400 it's a basketball reference as well.

01:06:28.920 So I was like, yeah, this is all good.

01:06:30.160 You have, like, two schools, actually, in here

01:06:32.540 that could be in the March Madness tournament.

01:06:34.340 I thought it was all, like, decent.

01:06:35.700 My original idea was to do the hotness of murder victims. 0.92

01:06:40.180 You know what, Toad?

01:06:40.720 I have your back here.

01:06:42.200 Thank you.

01:06:42.600 These guys, like, sucking the fun out of everything.

01:06:45.020 This is why we can't have nice things.

01:06:46.480 Are you guys just leaving? 0.99

01:06:47.540 What the fuck is going on? 0.99

01:06:48.680 Yeah, I don't know what is happening here. 1.00

01:06:50.000 Where the fuck is going on? 0.98

01:06:51.240 He's still talking about the bracket. 0.99

01:06:52.640 The bracket's done.

01:06:53.900 Oh, what?

01:06:54.560 It's over Vegas.

01:06:55.500 Yeah, amazing.

01:06:56.060 Vegas won.

01:06:56.800 Yeah.

01:06:57.280 Oh, I think he got in trouble.

01:07:00.260 The art was the best part of this.

01:07:02.580 What happened?

01:07:03.580 I don't even know what that means.

01:07:05.360 Oh.

01:07:07.060 Hey, what did you pull up?

01:07:08.800 Oh, I think he's in the doghouse.

01:07:12.140 Oh, my God.

01:07:14.100 How dare you be thinking about that red-headed tart 1.00

01:07:17.100 in your dreams?

01:07:17.980 What did you do, Josie?

01:07:20.580 You got in trouble for a dream?

01:07:21.860 Oh, man.

01:07:22.880 Women will take everything, including your dreams. 1.00

01:07:25.920 Look, we're doing it. 0.99

01:07:31.040 Josie, you homewrecker. 1.00

01:07:33.100 We're doing it for the humor. 1.00

01:07:35.200 Yeah, she's the rapist homewrecker libertarian. 1.00

01:07:38.200 That's the worst. 1.00

01:07:39.420 What an incredible turn of events.

01:07:42.620 Look, Liz, Cole loves you.

01:07:44.880 Good thing we did the bracket quickly.

01:07:46.720 Cole loves you.

01:07:47.500 This is for the humor, okay?

01:07:48.900 We might be witnessing, like, a murder.

01:07:50.660 He's going to come back with a black eye.

01:07:52.040 What if she's just holding his head?

01:07:53.700 It's Lizzie.

01:07:55.200 We watch.

01:07:55.720 It's Liz.

01:07:56.120 She's going to be... 0.99

01:07:56.840 Let me fucking tell you something. 1.00

01:07:58.700 Dude, this is going to be wild if Cole's wife kills him 1.00

01:08:01.500 before I kill myself. 1.00

01:08:02.760 Like, who had that? 0.86

01:08:03.860 Who had a bet on that?

01:08:05.200 I'm going to tell you guys, I don't think he's coming back.

01:08:07.220 I don't think he's coming back today.

01:08:08.920 Oh, no.

01:08:09.560 Imagine all the things he said.

01:08:12.180 Of all the things he said, this is the one that finally did it. 0.98

01:08:16.220 Basically, everything he says is so embarrassing and retarded, 0.99

01:08:19.000 and yet this is the thing that gets her upset.

01:08:21.900 Yeah, this is...

01:08:22.560 I'm actually concerned, Liz, if you can still hear this broadcast.

01:08:26.320 That might have been a literal demon.

01:08:28.180 I don't know why he's manifesting himself.

01:08:29.940 I think it's a he manifesting as Josie.

01:08:32.260 That's just weird. 1.00

01:08:33.340 You're mad at being raped. 1.00

01:08:35.080 Right. 1.00

01:08:35.920 Raped by a man. 0.96

01:08:36.720 Talk about blaming the victim. 1.00

01:08:38.300 Yeah, Cole's being raped by a man who's pretending to be a woman. 0.99

01:08:42.740 Okay, so... 0.99

01:08:43.560 I mean, he was very clear that he did come, but he didn't enjoy it.

01:08:47.680 So I think that's important.

01:08:48.420 Exactly.

01:08:49.240 I don't like that.

01:08:51.240 Hence the fact that it's wrong. 0.99

01:08:52.500 Oh, this sucks! 0.99

01:08:56.020 Oh, man. 1.00

01:08:57.660 Oh, shit. 1.00

01:08:59.180 I like to think... 1.00

01:09:00.020 I killed it. 0.99

01:09:00.680 She crawled backwards like a spider. 0.99

01:09:03.120 And then just, like, just queeped, come on.

01:09:08.380 Oh, my God. 0.99

01:09:09.900 That'd be awesome if she just shot it into his mouth. 1.00

01:09:12.480 For real. 0.99

01:09:13.240 We do need Cole a lot back here because he was...

01:09:15.620 The second drops in his mouth.

01:09:18.240 Cole is the crusty, happy trail of the show, as I was saying earlier.

01:09:23.500 All right.

01:09:23.740 Well, let's spitball. 0.99

01:09:25.040 Just because Cole's gone doesn't mean...

01:09:26.320 We've got...

01:09:27.020 The other things that I had on the list here were Scotty Pippen's wife... 0.99

01:09:30.520 Yo, this is a great story.

01:09:31.740 All right, let's do this.

01:09:32.280 This happens every time Cole's not here.

01:09:34.160 It's like, there's this awkward...

01:09:35.960 Is that Kim Kardashian? 0.99

01:09:37.140 There's this awkwardness where it's like, well, fuck, he's gone, so what do we do? 0.99

01:09:40.680 And now he's gone almost by our own doing. 0.99

01:09:42.820 We could have just let that...

01:09:43.940 It's in your head.

01:09:44.640 It's been a quick riff and go.

01:09:45.280 It's in your head that we can't riff without Cole.

01:09:46.880 We can do it.

01:09:47.400 We did it all last week.

01:09:48.400 We did it last week.

01:09:49.560 We've done it before.

01:09:49.800 You're going to have to get used to the dynamic from last week because that might be what we got going forward. 1.00

01:09:53.700 Oh, shit. 0.99

01:09:54.220 I don't think he's coming back at all. 1.00

01:09:56.080 Like ever?

01:09:57.460 He stepped over the line, dog.

01:09:58.920 No, it's definitely not the N-word because Liz says that more than Cole does. 0.60

01:10:02.900 I hope she pops up on cam and she's just holding his skull in her hand. 0.97

01:10:06.160 She's like, this is what you did.

01:10:08.500 In a certain sense, Liz is really cool.

01:10:10.600 I mean, that was a little wild.

01:10:11.780 I love Liz.

01:10:12.580 Jesus.

01:10:13.660 But Cole jokes about racism.

01:10:16.160 Liz is literally racist. 1.00

01:10:17.960 Which is a base. 0.89

01:10:19.280 Yeah.

01:10:20.200 Pretty cool. 1.00

01:10:20.680 I love her to the extent that I jerked off while they were fucking with another woman. 1.00

01:10:26.660 Justice for Cole. 1.00

01:10:27.800 That's love, baby.

01:10:28.940 All right. 0.99

01:10:29.220 So this bitch's name is Larsa Pippen, which is a strange name. 1.00

01:10:33.140 But she says that she had sex four times a night for 23 years straight while married to Scotty Pippen. 1.00

01:10:39.560 With Scotty or with other men or women?

01:10:42.820 I don't know.

01:10:43.480 So she says she had sex with multiple people, right? 0.71

01:10:47.240 No, dude. 0.56

01:10:48.160 No, him.

01:10:48.600 Just Scotty?

01:10:49.400 Scotty?

01:10:49.800 No.

01:10:50.180 There's no way this is legit.

01:10:51.320 I don't.

01:10:51.760 I wouldn't even want that.

01:10:53.300 Like, who would?

01:10:55.060 Have you seen what Scotty Pippen looks like?

01:10:56.900 That'd be insufferable.

01:10:58.120 Like, maybe in a day.

01:11:00.240 In a night?

01:11:00.900 No.

01:11:01.480 Like, in a day, okay.

01:11:02.180 Four times every day for 23 years?

01:11:04.160 Absolutely not.

01:11:04.420 I mean, that'd be pushing it.

01:11:05.760 But I could do it. 0.99

01:11:07.120 Like, if I was a professional athlete, all I did was work out and play fucking ball. 0.99

01:11:12.560 I wouldn't be fucking the same chick if I was a professional athlete. 1.00

01:11:15.540 Yeah. 1.00

01:11:15.760 Yeah.

01:11:16.360 Yeah.

01:11:17.120 Like, if I was married and I was a professional athlete,

01:11:18.900 it would look like, you know what I'm doing, right?

01:11:20.900 Like, let's get the deal on the table here. 1.00

01:11:22.840 Like, hey, road trip, bitch. 1.00

01:11:23.880 You know what? 1.00

01:11:24.260 You know what?

01:11:24.880 You actually just, you flipped the way my mind was thinking about this. 0.79

01:11:28.600 I was thinking that he was forcing her to have sex four times a night. 1.00

01:11:32.440 But it could be that she was forcing him to prove that he's not fucking any other bitches. 1.00

01:11:37.800 Either way, either way. 1.00

01:11:38.900 Crazy shit. 1.00

01:11:39.820 Either way, it was rape. 1.00

01:11:40.760 I think it was her. 1.00

01:11:41.660 Like, I don't think dudes normally do this kind of shit. 1.00

01:11:43.860 I feel like there are women that, like, will, I don't know if it's some crazy fucking mind 1.00

01:11:48.740 game shit where they will do weird. 1.00

01:11:50.120 There are, you, the few times you see, like, crazy sex addicts like this or whatever this 1.00

01:11:54.680 is, maybe not even addicts, some weird mind game. 1.00

01:11:56.560 It's always some woman shit. 1.00

01:11:58.120 Like, that's, that's wild. 1.00

01:11:59.860 Yeah.

01:12:00.260 I think that's a, that's a distinct possibility.

01:12:02.380 I mean, this chick's like, I ain't looking, but I, particularly for being in her forties,

01:12:05.660 but she's had, like, crazy work done.

01:12:07.320 Yeah, she's had too much work done. 0.99

01:12:08.840 Sleep paralysis goblins.

01:12:09.920 Yeah, no, she looks terrible, I would say. 0.98

01:12:12.000 Do you think that when she was fucking Scotty, because of the way that he looks, do you think 0.98

01:12:16.680 she was envisioning him as MJ instead? 0.99

01:12:20.140 Dickie, Dickie says, Scotty could have been number one on the bulls if his legs weren't

01:12:23.180 always dead.

01:12:25.000 That's actually what I was thinking too.

01:12:26.340 I was like, I was like, is this why he, he couldn't make a shot?

01:12:30.420 Interesting.

01:12:31.160 Is Scotty Pippen Jr. any good, by the way?

01:12:33.180 I know that guy's around.

01:12:34.420 No. 0.99

01:12:35.320 Uh, you can ask a garbage man about that. 0.98

01:12:37.500 Cause I think he plays for Vandy. 0.99

01:12:39.840 Okay.

01:12:40.280 I don't know.

01:12:40.720 I don't watch that black sport. 1.00

01:12:42.000 I don't watch college sports. 0.91

01:12:43.760 I'm not a pedophile.

01:12:44.820 Yeah, this is a weird one. 0.82

01:12:46.540 I think, I do think that she did it, that she was forcing him to have sex, which is like,

01:12:51.520 what an odd dynamic. 1.00

01:12:53.260 Cause he, he can have his, she looks like she could suck a duck. 1.00

01:12:57.000 Yeah. 1.00

01:12:57.540 Is she, she white? 1.00

01:12:58.600 It's always a white bitches. 1.00

01:12:59.600 Like they never marry any black girls. 1.00

01:13:01.260 It's weird. 0.94

01:13:02.200 I mean, her first name is Larsa.

01:13:04.180 I don't know.

01:13:04.920 She's, I mean, she's Brown. 1.00

01:13:06.000 She looks Hispanic, but she's probably white. 1.00

01:13:07.920 Who knows?

01:13:08.140 That is a sign of a brother who made it a hot white chick. 0.99

01:13:11.360 Like, let's be real.

01:13:12.980 Every minute that passes without Cole, I'm more concerned.

01:13:15.940 Yeah.

01:13:16.320 I'm a little, it freaks me out that this, like, well, I know people can't see this, but this

01:13:21.520 is in the background.

01:13:22.500 Like what is going on?

01:13:24.080 Unmute Cole.

01:13:24.920 Unmute Cole.

01:13:25.740 Unmute Cole.

01:13:26.540 Can we do that?

01:13:27.720 Oh God.

01:13:28.240 That's a, this is like an invasion of privacy.

01:13:30.220 No, I can't unmute.

01:13:31.140 Cause they muted themselves is what it says.

01:13:33.040 Yeah.

01:13:33.320 Yeah.

01:13:33.480 You can't.

01:13:33.840 I don't know, man. 1.00

01:13:34.840 He's fucking, honey. 1.00

01:13:36.200 It was, it was only in my dream. 1.00

01:13:37.580 Like, what?

01:13:39.220 He's like, stop hitting me.

01:13:40.900 Again.

01:13:41.380 Not only was it only a dream, but he was the victim in it.

01:13:44.440 Let's remember this. 0.92

01:13:45.280 What if she's raping him right now? 1.00

01:13:47.680 What if she's raping him right now? 1.00

01:13:49.800 Wow. 1.00

01:13:51.100 Oh, I have a crazy story.

01:13:52.760 All right. 1.00

01:13:53.020 So go ahead and pull down this Larsa Piven shit. 1.00

01:13:56.520 All right. 0.99

01:13:56.800 So when I was 19, I had this girlfriend and I had this ex-girlfriend and I went and I cheated

01:14:03.780 on my current girlfriend with my ex-girlfriend and I felt really bad about it.

01:14:06.840 And I came home and I was super drunk and I told my current girlfriend what I had done

01:14:09.680 and I was very apologetic and I was crying and she immediately started blowing me and she 0.95

01:14:15.460 like asserted, she like reasserted her dominance and I hadn't even showered. 0.97

01:14:18.940 I had just had sex with some other girl. 0.87

01:14:20.060 And she was like, I'm going to make sure that you're still mine. 0.99

01:14:23.120 And it was the most fucked up romantic thing that's ever happened to me. 0.99

01:14:27.000 So she was blowing you off. 0.98

01:14:28.360 You guys should know that. 1.00

01:14:29.200 While you still had the other chick's pussy stank on your dick. 1.00

01:14:33.000 Undoubtedly. 1.00

01:14:34.020 Oh my God.

01:14:35.700 That's like almost a threesome.

01:14:38.080 Kind of.

01:14:38.940 But I had traversed 10 miles in between.

01:14:42.500 How did this relationship end?

01:14:44.640 Oh, she slept with one of my best friends and then. 1.00

01:14:50.120 And then you sucked her dick? 1.00

01:14:51.920 No, no, no, no. 1.00

01:14:52.860 Then I hunted him for months and now we're like good friends again.

01:14:57.700 I never found him.

01:14:58.700 He hid in his mom's house.

01:14:59.860 I'm not even lying.

01:15:00.600 It's a true choice.

01:15:02.280 What?

01:15:03.060 Wow. 1.00

01:15:03.780 I was like, I was like, I'm going to kill you. 0.99

01:15:05.720 I texted him that. 1.00

01:15:06.800 I was like, I'm going to kill you. 0.97

01:15:07.640 And then I hunted him for months and he was just like on the run. 0.99

01:15:10.740 He's just hiding. 0.99

01:15:11.400 His mom was like, I have to get up food and shit. 0.99

01:15:13.660 You didn't expect him to be at his mom's house? 0.99

01:15:15.800 What did that be?

01:15:16.580 One of the first ones. 1.00

01:15:17.120 I was going to break into his mom's fucking home. 1.00

01:15:19.400 I'm not a, I'm just, I'm a lunatic, not an asshole. 1.00

01:15:21.860 Oh, all right. 0.99

01:15:22.300 I break into his dad's home though. 1.00

01:15:24.900 I had a buddy who did that shit. 1.00

01:15:26.580 And like, I think I gave up after a day. 1.00

01:15:30.960 You're much more reasonable than me.

01:15:32.760 I was like, whatever.

01:15:34.000 I had been dating her for five years and he was like my best friend.

01:15:37.640 So, and then, and, and the worst part was I had found out that she had cheated on me with him in the first year I was with her. 1.00

01:15:43.360 So I had found out that I had been with this cheating ass slut for fucking four years for no fucking reason. 1.00

01:15:48.700 And I was like, I think that made me more mad than anything. 1.00

01:15:51.000 I was like, if you would just been fucking man enough to tell me, I could have been like moving on with my life. 0.99

01:15:55.600 And I literally just fucking her just one time. 1.00

01:15:59.000 Oh, okay. 0.99

01:15:59.460 I thought you were like, I thought you were on the reg.

01:16:01.020 Like if it was on the reg, yeah, I'm hunting you down.

01:16:03.320 Like if it was just like one time, I don't know.

01:16:05.820 I'll give up after a day.

01:16:06.720 How did that come out?

01:16:08.360 Like how did that whole thing come out?

01:16:10.060 His, his fiancee at the time, uh, found out and then they broke up and then she told me.

01:16:15.520 His fiancee?

01:16:16.120 Yeah. 1.00

01:16:16.420 Cause she was trying, she was trying to ruin his life cause she was hurt because he was a scumbag to her or something. 0.99

01:16:21.060 I don't fucking know exactly. 0.99

01:16:22.120 Oh, so he admitted it to her. 0.97

01:16:23.760 Yeah. 1.00

01:16:23.940 What a crazy bitch. 1.00

01:16:24.940 Maddie's fucking other whores. 1.00

01:16:26.580 I'm loving it now. 1.00

01:16:27.520 Oh, and then, and then, uh, a few months later I had a threesome with, uh, the girl, my girlfriend and his ex-fiance.

01:16:35.660 Oh my God.

01:16:37.380 I'm not, I'm not even following this.

01:16:39.440 Dude.

01:16:40.340 Oh my God.

01:16:40.840 Look, turnabout's fair play, dude. 0.58

01:16:43.020 You gotta, you know, punish the homies. 1.00

01:16:44.320 Dude, the, uh, the chick that, uh, that I, uh, fucking, um. 0.99

01:16:49.360 Thank you, Josie. 0.98

01:16:50.240 That's the only honorable thing to do.

01:16:51.320 Yeah, yeah.

01:16:51.960 You gotta even the score.

01:16:53.000 That, the story I told you about with the, I didn't really give you the whole story.

01:16:56.180 I said a similar thing where I had a buddy and we weren't like super close.

01:16:59.480 So I guess maybe that's why I didn't hunt him like you did and did like a day and then 1.00

01:17:03.100 gave up cause he fucking ran away like a bitch. 1.00

01:17:05.340 But, uh, the chick, I ended up fucking your sister after. 1.00

01:17:09.760 So that, that was, I was like, hell yeah. 1.00

01:17:12.060 Like, fuck you whore. 1.00

01:17:13.200 I'm going to bang your, cause her sister always kind of had a thing for me anyways. 1.00

01:17:16.500 And like, I didn't, it was one of those things where I didn't even find out shit a thing 0.99

01:17:19.360 until I started dating her sister. 0.51

01:17:20.700 And then it was like this weird jealousy thing between them.

01:17:23.100 But obviously I'm like, well, I'm with her. 1.00

01:17:24.600 But then once she fucked me, I'm like, Hey, I'm fucking your sister. 1.00

01:17:27.500 Women are so wild. 1.00

01:17:28.460 Like it was all vengeance fucking. 1.00

01:17:30.320 Like everyone was just vengeance fucking everyone afterwards. 0.99

01:17:33.540 Like his ex fiance and my ex that I despised were just all like, we're all going to have 0.99

01:17:38.880 sex to punish this dude who's like, has no idea what's happening. 0.81

01:17:42.480 Yeah. 0.99

01:17:42.940 That's how you get even. 1.00

01:17:43.920 I mean, I couldn't beat the shit of that one guy. 1.00

01:17:45.260 So I'm like, well, fuck her sister. 1.00

01:17:46.800 That'll, that's all make me feel better about it. 1.00

01:17:49.480 I don't know what that means.

01:17:50.720 I saw that in the chat.

01:17:53.560 You're going to get me kicked off the show. 0.98

01:17:55.080 I'm pretty sure JC's gay and he's saying that he's, he, he dreams about you. 0.99

01:17:58.700 He dreams about you for sure.

01:18:00.020 Is JC a girl or a guy?

01:18:00.800 I thought this was a girl.

01:18:02.140 Oh, I have no idea.

01:18:02.840 I think it's a guy.

01:18:04.240 Yeah.

01:18:04.520 A girl would have a profile pic. 1.00

01:18:06.160 This is the person that always says, oh my God, hi.

01:18:08.980 Right.

01:18:09.260 Yeah. 0.69

01:18:09.980 I think it's a gay dude. 0.97

01:18:11.840 Either, either a girl or a gay dude. 0.97

01:18:13.580 Not sure. 0.98

01:18:15.260 I'm a little concerned about Cole.

01:18:16.800 I think I guess.

01:18:17.880 Yeah.

01:18:18.120 We got any other good content?

01:18:19.260 Cause I kind of want to go check on my book.

01:18:20.320 I really, I really wish you guys would stop worrying so much.

01:18:22.920 He can overpower her.

01:18:24.100 I don't know if you've seen him. 1.00

01:18:25.340 Oh, he's fucking jacked. 0.99

01:18:26.720 Maybe it's because I'm married and I've been married for a long time. 1.00

01:18:29.500 I know the danger he's in.

01:18:31.160 He's going to, he's going to come back on the show and she's going to be behind him,

01:18:34.000 like in a far background.

01:18:34.920 And he's going to be like, I quit the show.

01:18:37.040 I can't really do this anymore.

01:18:38.200 It's not you.

01:18:38.660 It's me.

01:18:38.920 She's got a gun into him. 0.94

01:18:41.400 There's a, there's a distinct possibility that she makes him quit the show.

01:18:44.260 And honestly, he should divorce her if he, if she even tries.

01:18:46.960 But go ahead.

01:18:47.300 Yeah.

01:18:48.040 Yeah.

01:18:48.080 I mean, it's one kid.

01:18:49.400 I mean, it's an easy walk away.

01:18:50.460 Alyssa, this really is the calm before the storm.

01:18:52.460 Not again.

01:18:54.120 Not again.

01:18:55.220 Not again.

01:18:56.340 That's the best.

01:18:57.740 Oh man.

01:18:58.700 Play it again.

01:18:59.300 Play it again.

01:19:00.560 Just play it on loop forever.

01:19:02.960 No.

01:19:03.060 She joins us live in the studio.

01:19:05.360 Alyssa, this really is the calm before the storm.

01:19:08.220 Not again.

01:19:09.780 No.

01:19:10.360 Not again.

01:19:13.080 We, we cannot.

01:19:15.800 One more time.

01:19:17.040 Please.

01:19:18.040 We, we, we aren't allowed to discuss.

01:19:20.060 For posterity.

01:19:20.620 We aren't allowed to discuss a medical.

01:19:22.380 Alyssa, this really is the calm before the storm.

01:19:23.820 Look at her eyes roll back. 0.95

01:19:25.000 Not again.

01:19:26.680 No.

01:19:28.820 You know. 1.00

01:19:29.960 We can't bring this faint-ass bitch anywhere. 1.00

01:19:32.280 She's passing out everywhere. 1.00

01:19:34.380 She attuned that she was four times vaxxed, by the way.

01:19:37.220 Yeah.

01:19:37.520 Yeah.

01:19:38.320 Not again.

01:19:39.300 You just got the fourth booster.

01:19:41.640 Boy, it has this, so this has happened a bunch of times then, right?

01:19:44.420 And, and this is just the, like the last of it. 0.99

01:19:47.260 Like this bitch fucking passing out on TV. 1.00

01:19:49.700 That's amazing. 1.00

01:19:50.720 It's not even like I want to see the vaccinated diet, but I do want to see like the third and

01:19:54.640 fourth boosted people die.

01:19:56.400 Like, that'd be kind of cool.

01:19:57.420 I think her not again comment was unrelated to that.

01:20:00.240 Like she was responding.

01:20:01.320 Yeah.

01:20:01.680 It was, it was based off the lead.

01:20:02.920 And I watched the whole clip.

01:20:03.900 It was, it was a lead.

01:20:04.660 Are you sure?

01:20:05.560 Yes.

01:20:05.720 The timing's hilarious though.

01:20:07.180 Oh, not again.

01:20:08.640 Not again.

01:20:09.740 Jessica's passing out again.

01:20:12.140 Yeah.

01:20:12.500 Must've gotten that next booster every time, man.

01:20:15.780 Yeah.

01:20:15.980 Everybody has that friend.

01:20:17.180 The one that just passes out randomly.

01:20:19.040 Oh, here we go again.

01:20:20.540 I thought this, what this video is about.

01:20:22.180 I was like, that's crazy that like they keep letting her on TV. 0.91

01:20:25.600 It's all, it's just a narcoleptic.

01:20:27.300 She's just like, I was going to say that.

01:20:29.100 I remember like in Deuce Bigelow, he's getting narcoleptic checks.

01:20:32.480 This is the perfect parallel to Cole's situation right now.

01:20:36.300 Like if he comes back, have you guys seen the video about YouTube blogger?

01:20:39.440 He did a big apology video with his wife crying in the background.

01:20:41.500 And there's a followup because he caught with AI porn of his female friends.

01:20:45.340 Yeah. 0.95

01:20:45.780 I would say.

01:20:46.800 Should we pull that up?

01:20:48.820 I don't know.

01:20:49.380 Cole is definitely more innocent because it was like involuntary.

01:20:52.200 This is a subconscious doing thing.

01:20:53.940 But that is kind of a similar AI porn dreams. 1.00

01:20:57.960 Look, if you can't dream about fucking other women or dream about being raped by other women, 1.00

01:21:02.240 you're just not free, man. 1.00

01:21:03.840 You're just not free at all. 1.00

01:21:05.440 Well, that's why you don't tell women shit. 1.00

01:21:07.120 Like for real. 1.00

01:21:07.620 Yeah.

01:21:08.040 That's a good point.

01:21:08.560 That's why women inherently cannot be libertarian. 1.00

01:21:12.120 I think this is why you can only date women who are base as fuck. 1.00

01:21:16.500 Because if you're dating a woman who's like literally going to be mad at you, 1.00

01:21:19.540 like really actually mad at you for a dream, you got to kill her, dude. 1.00

01:21:24.260 Oh, Jesus. 0.99

01:21:26.960 You skipped a couple steps, but all right.

01:21:29.600 Divorce.

01:21:30.000 Fine.

01:21:30.320 Whatever. 1.00

01:21:30.700 Be a pussy about it. 1.00

01:21:32.620 All right. 1.00

01:21:32.960 Guys, by the way, Lizzie, when you rewatch this, these are all jokes.

01:21:35.300 Yeah.

01:21:35.840 We're good.

01:21:36.420 Everything we say is a joke.

01:21:38.420 This is all a dream.

01:21:40.020 You can be mad at Cole about it, right?

01:21:42.680 We love you both.

01:21:44.420 All right.

01:21:44.900 Hit play.

01:21:45.660 Play it.

01:21:46.880 Seasoning police on this app.

01:21:48.660 If in your brain you only view seasoning as things like garlic powder, onion powder,

01:21:54.760 or maybe something like rosemary.

01:21:57.160 If this is what you view as seasoning and seasoning only, let me pose you a question.

01:22:02.160 What does this come from?

01:22:03.880 Granulated garlic.

01:22:04.760 What is that?

01:22:05.920 Garlic?

01:22:06.560 Onion powder.

01:22:07.120 What does that come from?

01:22:08.320 Dehydrated onion?

01:22:11.040 Let's take a look at the spice rub.

01:22:12.840 Dehydrated garlic, onion, and bell pepper.

01:22:15.120 I sauteed those bell peppers along with my onion and garlic.

01:22:19.960 Hmm.

01:22:20.400 What is so funny to me is if I had just doused my chicken in this rub, in this rub alone,

01:22:25.080 the seasoning police would be out of my comments.

01:22:27.120 They wouldn't even be in there.

01:22:28.260 But the second it's fresh garlic or fresh onion or fresh bell pepper, it's automatically

01:22:32.820 not seasoning.

01:22:33.920 And let me just say one last thing.

01:22:35.240 If you're one of those people that loves to watch cooking competitions and a judge says

01:22:38.940 something is under-seasoned, they're talking about salt.

01:22:41.560 Under-seasoning your food means there's not enough salt in there.

01:22:44.080 She is right about that.

01:22:45.220 Salt is going to bring out the flavor of onion, the flavor of garlic, the flavor of whatever

01:22:49.800 random spice rub that you have.

01:22:51.560 And let me just say that if your food tastes a little off, it's not because you need to

01:22:54.800 add more powder.

01:22:56.160 It's most of the time because you need to add more salt or some sort of acid like lemon

01:23:00.440 juice or vinegar.

01:23:01.480 Okay? 0.70

01:23:01.660 This is just white people propaganda.

01:23:03.020 Did you bring this up for us to fight?

01:23:05.120 Because I feel like we're supposed to argue after this. 0.97

01:23:07.280 Dude, she's fucking right, though. 0.99

01:23:08.220 She's fucking right. 0.99

01:23:09.140 Here we go. 0.99

01:23:09.660 Okay, but it depends on the content.

01:23:11.360 If you're talking about like rubs on different meats or whatever. 0.98

01:23:13.960 Now, if you're just like cooking some chocolate or some shit. 0.97

01:23:16.880 Guys, everyone take notes of whose wife or family cooks bland food from this argument. 0.99

01:23:23.760 Go ahead.

01:23:24.240 I cook bomb food.

01:23:26.100 I agree with Top on this.

01:23:27.920 I'm just going to say. 1.00

01:23:28.160 I think maybe his taste buds are fucked up. 0.99

01:23:30.940 What do you think? 0.99

01:23:31.380 I think it really depends on the context that you're talking about.

01:23:34.040 I don't even understand why this is controversial.

01:23:38.000 That's how white I am.

01:23:39.760 Okay, look.

01:23:40.520 You guys make your food? 1.00

01:23:42.120 You fucking boys. 1.00

01:23:43.660 No, like I honestly don't understand what the controversy is. 1.00

01:23:46.460 Like everyone keeps showing this freeze frame of her saying like this and saying that she's

01:23:49.740 racist.

01:23:50.260 Like why is that racist?

01:23:51.200 I don't even understand. 0.97

01:23:52.180 It's because she was fighting a bunch of black people. 1.00

01:23:54.600 She dunked on the blacks, dog. 1.00

01:23:55.880 Yeah, she dunked on the black people because black people probably, I guess, I don't know, 1.00

01:24:00.280 marinate their chicken a dish soap or some shit. 1.00

01:24:03.420 I don't know what they do. 1.00

01:24:04.160 Little Dicky, pull up the video of the black people preparing their chicken because this 1.00

01:24:08.680 actually ties in nicely. 0.88

01:24:09.800 Keep going.

01:24:10.460 You got to run that because I don't understand the backstory. 0.87

01:24:12.180 She is also wrong because I'm a wigger, but I don't understand black people. 1.00

01:24:15.940 She's also somewhat.

01:24:17.160 I don't know the context.

01:24:18.660 She's only like half right because if you just cook chicken with just bell pepper and 0.98

01:24:22.700 onion, that's not seasoned chicken. 0.99

01:24:24.280 It's going to be bland as fuck. 0.99

01:24:25.500 You got to add salt. 1.00

01:24:26.160 You need salt.

01:24:27.000 You need pepper.

01:24:27.840 Yeah. 1.00

01:24:28.000 You got to throw some shit in there. 1.00

01:24:29.240 Yeah. 1.00

01:24:29.420 That's literally what the bitch is saying. 1.00

01:24:31.400 Yeah. 1.00

01:24:31.620 She's saying salt and pepper are the good of the garlic.

01:24:33.340 She's saying she's been getting a lot of flack from, you know, certain darker individuals 0.98

01:24:37.900 that, you know, she didn't fucking put enough seasoning. 1.00

01:24:42.340 Here's the real, here's the real secret of black cuisine. 0.98

01:24:46.000 They put a lot of butter on top of everything she just described. 0.99

01:24:49.340 I don't think there's any fucking difference. 0.96

01:24:50.800 Tell me what the difference is. 0.98

01:24:52.000 What else do they use? 0.78

01:24:52.820 It's so fucking phenomenal. 0.97

01:24:55.580 They don't use dish soap. 0.99

01:24:56.400 What are you talking about?

01:24:57.260 It is a common racist trope that they, which is what makes it cool, that they, uh, they

01:25:02.960 wash chicken with the dish soap.

01:25:05.400 That's what makes it cool.

01:25:06.780 That's why, uh, little Dickie's pulling up, uh, this said video right now.

01:25:10.260 He's trying to, he's struggling.

01:25:11.640 Actually, I'll let you guys again on a little inside.

01:25:14.760 Yo, let me know, dude.

01:25:15.580 You're the brown dude. 0.98

01:25:16.400 Like, tell us what's up.

01:25:17.580 This is, I have firsthand experience, which is really funny.

01:25:19.840 And my, I know my mom's watching and my wife isn't.

01:25:22.380 So this is what's going on.

01:25:23.480 My parents are living in my house because they're building a house on my property.

01:25:27.620 Right.

01:25:28.080 Right.

01:25:28.600 So they've been at my house for about a year.

01:25:30.780 And let's say tensions are getting a little high because you have your wife with your 0.96

01:25:36.240 parents.

01:25:36.620 Obviously you, this is going to happen.

01:25:38.980 Oh, no.

01:25:39.680 She's talking about Spanish chicken. 1.00

01:25:41.040 Fuck her. 1.00

01:25:41.620 But so this is what's happening. 1.00

01:25:43.320 That's my type dog.

01:25:44.660 Yeah.

01:25:45.080 Look at, look at her titties, man. 1.00

01:25:47.180 Okay. 0.96

01:25:47.460 The fake nails and the brillo. 0.96

01:25:50.340 Oh no.

01:25:50.660 What is she doing?

01:25:51.900 Now, now, now my boner is dead.

01:25:54.180 Oh, now it's back on again.

01:25:56.000 Saison Goya, garlic powder.

01:25:57.620 He said Saison's.

01:26:01.460 Now, if you're throwing in the oven, I will say this is probably superior.

01:26:04.940 Cause like, what are you going to do?

01:26:06.260 Chop?

01:26:06.680 Like, I don't, I don't know how you would do it in an oven.

01:26:08.240 Pepper flakes.

01:26:09.140 But that's not even good. 0.99

01:26:10.360 Why the fuck does she use this soap? 1.00

01:26:12.600 I don't know. 1.00

01:26:13.600 That's like a thing they do.

01:26:15.360 Yeah.

01:26:15.580 They clean the chicken.

01:26:17.500 Yeah.

01:26:18.320 They do that?

01:26:19.480 I think it's, I don't understand.

01:26:20.920 Oh my God.

01:26:21.460 Send them back to Africa. 1.00

01:26:22.580 What are they doing?

01:26:23.400 I think it's to remove the salmonella.

01:26:25.240 I mean, it's probably not the worst idea, but it's still like.

01:26:29.400 Yes, it is.

01:26:30.700 If you rinse it off, it's gone.

01:26:31.340 Just buy chicken that doesn't have salmonella.

01:26:33.280 You don't need to put, like, dish side agents. 0.99

01:26:36.160 I mean, you're also cooking it. 0.99

01:26:37.520 So long as you don't undercook it, it will kill off whatever the fuck is there. 0.99

01:26:40.140 That's why you don't need to put dish soap on your chicken. 0.97

01:26:42.620 It's not the worst idea.

01:26:43.840 Who's making chicken more than mine?

01:26:45.500 It's good to add redundancies and operations in case you don't want it along the way.

01:26:49.580 Don't eat dish soap. 1.00

01:26:50.740 You're going to cook dish soap and fucking put it in your butt. 1.00

01:26:52.900 This is where I depart from Jose's line of thinking here. 1.00

01:26:57.520 Dickie, I think.

01:26:57.980 No, I think it's weird to do, but it's like I can understand the logic of, like, I'm adding in multiple redundancies.

01:27:03.840 Wait, let me backtrack to this because I know this is going to make my mom mad. 1.00

01:27:07.340 There's one with Clorox, too, I believe.

01:27:08.580 There's a video with Clorox.

01:27:09.780 There's one that's real.

01:27:10.660 So this is real funny, I think.

01:27:11.960 And I've been noticing, and it seems like an internal struggle, like a quiet struggle.

01:27:15.520 None of them have admitted it yet.

01:27:17.220 But I think that my mom thinks that my wife cooks too white. 1.00

01:27:22.040 So she won't eat when my wife cooks. 1.00

01:27:24.100 Oh, look at this.

01:27:25.180 That's a joke. 0.99

01:27:26.020 That's got to be someone fucking around. 0.99

01:27:27.580 Oh, no. 1.00

01:27:28.340 Chicken, you got to rub on it.

01:27:29.600 Look at me rubbing on it.

01:27:30.340 Rub, rub, rub this, man, period.

01:27:32.640 Get into it.

01:27:33.600 If you don't put no dish up on your chicken when you're cleaning it, then what are you doing?

01:27:37.240 You got to.

01:27:37.940 That's got to be a joke.

01:27:39.140 That can't be real. 0.99

01:27:40.140 There's no way black people are actually doing this. 1.00

01:27:41.600 There's so many of these. 0.94

01:27:42.960 I mean, I think I'm so bothered.

01:27:48.820 This is the most racist I've ever been. 0.63

01:27:51.840 This is crazy. 1.00

01:27:53.220 This is one of the things black people do that like they're like, yo, nobody else knows about 1.00

01:27:58.060 only blacks. 0.98

01:27:59.100 Like now it's out. 0.99

01:28:00.520 Oh, they're out, baby. 0.98

01:28:02.980 Black people be doing this, huh? 1.00

01:28:04.480 We know your secrets. 1.00

01:28:06.620 Black people be doing this, huh? 1.00

01:28:08.140 We know your secrets. 0.97

01:28:09.320 It's so honest, glancing down, seeing Cole's little icon on the bottom of her screen.

01:28:15.420 Dude, this dish something is what's going to lead to the return of slavery in America.

01:28:24.920 Hey, for their own protection, we kind of got it.

01:28:27.440 Yeah.

01:28:29.260 All right.

01:28:29.920 Look, I had no idea black people were doing that.

01:28:32.220 I think it completely changes my perspective.

01:28:35.920 I think, I think God was right.

01:28:39.100 We can't help these people.

01:28:40.660 I think honestly that they, they probably like this explains the IQ gap.

01:28:45.700 This explains so much.

01:28:49.280 Is this what they mean by black and chicken when I order it? 1.00

01:28:55.360 Fuck you, Tony. 1.00

01:28:56.360 That's funny. 1.00

01:28:58.380 Clorox, get the fuck out of here. 0.99

01:29:00.580 Yeah. 0.99

01:29:00.880 Yeah. 1.00

01:29:01.360 All these people are out of their goddamn mind. 1.00

01:29:03.320 Bleach that chicken. 1.00

01:29:06.840 That is so dangerous.

01:29:09.020 Like, you're not rinsing off the bleach.

01:29:10.920 You're literally putting a chemical on it.

01:29:12.820 Like, at least soap you can justify to rinse off.

01:29:15.960 All these people are going to have cancer. 1.00

01:29:18.520 These people are fucking crazy. 1.00

01:29:19.720 I use the name brand Clorox because the other ones don't taste right. 1.00

01:29:24.080 Get the fuck out of here. 0.99

01:29:26.020 Is this real? 1.00

01:29:27.120 Is this a huge troll? 1.00

01:29:28.640 Am I being fucked with? 1.00

01:29:29.460 Why are you washing your chicken? 1.00

01:29:34.740 This is why, this is why black people jump so high. 1.00

01:29:37.360 You gotta, you gotta wash the chicken before you eat it, man. 0.99

01:29:39.940 You must be doing something wrong.

01:29:42.760 Look, top, is this real?

01:29:44.000 Tell me the truth. 0.97

01:29:44.880 You're brown. 1.00

01:29:45.440 You know. 0.99

01:29:45.860 You're looking at a bunch of different black hands washed chicken. 1.00

01:29:48.240 I don't know what to tell you.

01:29:49.960 Did you know this?

01:29:51.320 Did you know this was a thing?

01:29:52.700 Am I the only one that's like totally mystified?

01:29:54.680 What is this?

01:29:55.720 Why is no one else surprised?

01:29:57.260 Why is everyone acting like this?

01:29:59.100 I'm more in touch with the hood.

01:30:01.840 I don't know what to tell you. 0.88

01:30:04.440 Now, that's disgusting.

01:30:05.720 When they be, like, they'll, they'll see, they'll season their chicken in the, in the sink.

01:30:10.080 That's why I believe that they actually do wash it.

01:30:12.500 I've seen them do that.

01:30:13.420 They'll do it all the time and they'll just be throwing all kinds of.

01:30:16.420 It's disgusting.

01:30:17.660 Dude, I can't, I can't do, I cannot do that in the sink. 0.99

01:30:19.960 I piss in there.

01:30:20.820 You shouldn't be doing that either.

01:30:24.120 Oh, I piss in the sink all the time.

01:30:25.720 What is it?

01:30:26.060 This is more soap, right?

01:30:29.080 You know what's crazy? 1.00

01:30:30.420 What if the black community has gotten together to troll us? 1.00

01:30:34.440 The white community. 0.99

01:30:35.320 That's how I feel right now, dude.

01:30:36.560 Look at this.

01:30:37.160 I mean, it's just, it's so unnecessary.

01:30:39.860 There's no reason to be doing this.

01:30:43.540 Oh my God.

01:30:45.740 What are you, what are you, you're, it's it. 1.00

01:30:46.860 Them white devils be telling us it's fine and shit. 1.00

01:30:49.760 This is one of the most infuriating experiences of my life. 1.00

01:30:53.080 I don't understand what's happening right now.

01:30:54.500 Wouldn't you be using a, like bath soap instead of dish soap?

01:30:58.000 No, don't wash it.

01:30:59.920 I mean, you don't need to wash it.

01:31:01.100 I actually get what you mean.

01:31:02.160 Cause bath soap would be like not as hard on it.

01:31:05.600 And like, uh, whereas dish soap is going to be way harder to rinse off.

01:31:08.780 It's going to be more.

01:31:09.280 No, like, well, you know, like more.

01:31:11.060 So, all right.

01:31:11.720 Before the, before your baby goes to bed, you put them in the bath and you give them a little

01:31:15.340 scrub and they wash them off.

01:31:16.840 Right.

01:31:17.000 And then you take them out and eat them and then you eat your children.

01:31:20.940 I'm just saying like, it would seem like they would want to give it a bath before they do

01:31:25.120 this rather than wash. 0.98

01:31:27.280 It's not, it's not a dirty dish.

01:31:29.020 It's I need, I need every, everybody in the comments.

01:31:32.300 I need you to tell me if this is a thing for real. 0.99

01:31:34.820 And if there's any white people that do the same shit, I want you to, I want you to admit it. 1.00

01:31:38.880 Go back. 1.00

01:31:39.380 I need all the black people in the comments. 1.00

01:31:41.980 If you're a black dude that's here and you do this, we will bring you on the show and 1.00

01:31:45.760 interview about it. 0.98

01:31:46.400 Did you see that?

01:31:47.360 Right now.

01:31:48.320 The Reddit post, a little dicky, you said, I've got this one.

01:31:50.500 Do you read this?

01:31:52.340 Hi guys.

01:31:53.060 I was cooking last night, making some chicken breasts.

01:31:55.340 I'd spilled some soda on my pants.

01:31:57.380 So I was cooking without pants on.

01:31:59.640 I moved some trays around and I accidentally dropped a chicken breast on the floor, but it 0.99

01:32:03.860 hit my penis before it hit the floor. 1.00

01:32:06.080 This morning, my penis seems like it is inflamed and the pee hole hurts if I touch it. 1.00

01:32:11.180 It's impossible. 0.99

01:32:12.040 I got salmonella poisoning.

01:32:13.760 Yes. 1.00

01:32:14.160 You fucked the chicken, didn't you? 1.00

01:32:16.820 All right, cool. 0.99

01:32:17.600 Hey guys, guys, update.

01:32:20.180 I think we might be all right, but then again.

01:32:21.860 Oh, it's 4chan.

01:32:22.780 All right.

01:32:23.700 We got a message from Cole.

01:32:25.340 He said baby issues. 0.98

01:32:27.020 He had to, like, some do with pumping or some bullshit and he had to go help with the 0.99

01:32:30.240 kid. 0.98

01:32:31.100 I also think there's this wrong chance he's lying and is like, don't tell them because they've

01:32:34.840 just been ragging on me the whole time.

01:32:35.860 It's 100% her texting from his phone.

01:32:39.900 Benzo, I was thinking bath salt chicken.

01:32:41.720 Now she's too embarrassed to admit she overreacted. 1.00

01:32:44.320 You know, real woman shit. 1.00

01:32:45.060 What do you mean? 1.00

01:32:45.640 He was dead at 1030.

01:32:47.160 He was text messaging his friends at 1030.

01:32:49.540 Dude, I swear.

01:32:50.220 She's just been dragging him out in the woods somewhere.

01:32:51.960 Assuming she's being crazy if we're taking that line of thinking.

01:32:56.080 I think if we hadn't ragged on her and we're bullies there for a little bit. 1.00

01:32:59.720 We probably saved his life.

01:33:00.760 Yeah, we probably saved him on the show.

01:33:02.400 Like, if we had just been like, oh my God, Cole's gone and then just never addressed it.

01:33:05.460 We saved the show. 0.99

01:33:06.520 And she would have been like, you're going to fucking, you're going to tell those guys. 0.99

01:33:09.520 You're going to stand up to them finally. 0.99

01:33:11.220 Like, me and you both agree on this, right?

01:33:12.700 Look, man.

01:33:13.200 This is the one thing that made us like we went too far.

01:33:17.280 Like, just bring it back a little bit with the jokes.

01:33:19.720 No.

01:33:20.640 All right.

01:33:20.880 Garbage Man says this is a thing for real.

01:33:22.540 So, I am just floored. 0.94

01:33:25.420 I mean, I've never seen a black dude do it in the wild.

01:33:27.940 You know what I mean?

01:33:28.480 Like, but it's a thing. 0.96

01:33:29.960 Look, I've never been in a black person's house.

01:33:31.900 Like, for real, what's the logic? 0.99

01:33:33.520 Because Jose's spitting some nonsense. 0.99

01:33:35.460 Oh, it's going to fucking fix the salmonella. 1.00

01:33:38.300 No, you cook the fucking meat and it all dies. 1.00

01:33:41.000 I agree. 1.00

01:33:41.140 I'm saying it's a redundancy in the system.

01:33:43.220 I'm not saying it's smart or something you should do.

01:33:47.060 It's like if you had five redundancies in the system, it's like, okay, you're overdoing

01:33:51.640 it.

01:33:51.900 Like, you can cut out one of those.

01:33:53.340 Washing your chicken is one of them because you are going to cook it.

01:33:55.660 It's also like you're not getting it for grimy sources.

01:33:57.840 You already have enough redundancies in the system to keep yourself from receiving salmonella.

01:34:02.120 You rinse the chicken off.

01:34:03.400 You don't put dish soap on it.

01:34:04.960 You cook the chicken to 165.

01:34:06.620 I don't even rinse my chicken.

01:34:07.880 Why are you rinsing chicken?

01:34:08.820 Rinse the chicken.

01:34:09.700 Cook it to 165.

01:34:11.200 I mean, you are supposed to rinse it, though, to get kind of like the juice.

01:34:13.980 That is a thing, but I don't.

01:34:15.280 If there's like excess blood, if it's in the package, I'll rinse it off.

01:34:19.380 But then what I do, if you want to have some good flavor and tenderness, you got to marinate

01:34:23.560 it in vinegar.

01:34:24.860 And the vinegar actually does.

01:34:26.260 It'll kill it, too. 1.00

01:34:27.440 I don't know what the fuck these black people are doing. 1.00

01:34:29.060 It's good to rinse it and dry it off, depending on what you're doing with it, too, because 1.00

01:34:32.220 you don't want it to have like extra.

01:34:34.180 It kind of throws off how you're going to cook it, like if it's kind of extra wet or whatever,

01:34:38.100 you know.

01:34:39.560 Marinating is good. 0.99

01:34:40.860 And I don't know what this.

01:34:42.240 I like this chick, but I don't know what her issue is with rosemary. 1.00

01:34:44.940 Because rosemary makes everything better.

01:34:46.640 So you cook that chicken, throw salt, pepper, rosemary, maybe some like red pepper flakes

01:34:51.220 in there.

01:34:51.240 The issue with rosemary is that you can manually do rosemary.

01:34:54.600 You break it up yourself off the sprinter.

01:34:56.440 Oh, yeah.

01:34:56.900 Oh, absolutely.

01:34:57.280 So that's what she's saying as opposed to a sprinkle thing.

01:34:59.640 Pull this comment from Junkie Jeff.

01:35:01.760 I'm fine with either way with rosemary, really.

01:35:04.280 Rinsing is fine.

01:35:05.140 The chicken juices in the package stinks. 0.86

01:35:07.060 You're poor. 0.84

01:35:08.380 Okay? 1.00

01:35:09.080 You're going to a fucking store and you're buying poor people food. 1.00

01:35:11.960 I've never had fucking chicken that stinks. 1.00

01:35:13.600 If I did, I'd throw it away because I'm not fucking poor. 1.00

01:35:16.180 You're poor, Junkie Jeff. 1.00

01:35:17.420 Stop being poor so you don't have to put soap on your fucking chicken, you poor bitch. 1.00

01:35:22.020 I was trying to think of like one of those expensive places that people go, like the 1.00

01:35:25.420 nice places, but I couldn't even think of one.

01:35:27.740 You have your normal Publix, you know, Winn-Dixie, but then you have like, what is it?

01:35:39.000 Whole Foods.

01:35:39.980 That's what I was trying to think of, like Whole Foods.

01:35:41.980 That's the only place Clint, because I actually agree with Junkie Jeff, depending.

01:35:45.700 It's not always, but there's a lot of times you get chicken in.

01:35:48.480 It's not a strong stink, but like you're like, I don't know, whatever.

01:35:51.600 I don't really want that flavor mixing in or that extra like, you know, chicken juice

01:35:55.440 mixing in with all the stuff.

01:35:56.400 So I'm going to rinse it off, put the excess off, and throw it in the skillet.

01:35:59.580 You know what?

01:35:59.920 This theory, this is the correct theory, actually. 0.99

01:36:03.380 Blacks wash their chicken in dish soap because they're so poor that they only buy like the 1.00

01:36:09.220 most poor chicken that they can find. 1.00

01:36:11.900 That's why they do it.

01:36:13.100 I always don't smell.

01:36:15.060 I always watch, or I always just stick to the show and I don't watch the comments.

01:36:19.120 I flipped over to the comments and now I can't focus on the show at all because our 0.93

01:36:21.760 comments section is so goddamn funny.

01:36:23.260 I totally understand why we love the community. 0.56

01:36:25.340 I love it.

01:36:25.600 Yeah, we've cultivated a great community here.

01:36:27.320 They don't even come here for us.

01:36:28.580 They're just chatting here.

01:36:30.180 No, I'm good with it.

01:36:31.260 Keep riffing on jokes.

01:36:32.480 We should probably start trying to bring them up more, but I don't trust Little Dicky's

01:36:36.060 selection.

01:36:36.840 I'll have to start doing it more on my own.

01:36:38.600 Look, at Tower Gang, we all, we watch out for each other and the gang as well.

01:36:44.340 So we're keeping the gang together.

01:36:46.100 That's what we did tonight.

01:36:47.740 Sort of.

01:36:48.240 It's a weird way to wrap it up with a moral of the end of the story.

01:36:51.860 Oh, I know he's back. 0.99

01:36:54.000 I've never eaten chicken in my fucking life. 0.99

01:36:55.800 Thank you, Benzo Barbie. 1.00

01:36:56.940 You are a white queen. 1.00

01:36:59.020 I'm so racist right now. 1.00

01:37:00.500 I'm so offended that there's fucking idiots out there that are soaping down their chicken. 1.00

01:37:05.220 Fuck. 1.00

01:37:05.440 You know how much of that soapy chicken you probably ate? 1.00

01:37:08.920 Think about that. 0.99

01:37:10.180 Blacks. 1.00

01:37:12.240 Blacks. 1.00

01:37:13.060 Wait, what was that?

01:37:13.840 When you do a Saw Adams-Clint Russell face matchup, they would work well.

01:37:17.620 They have similar-ish faces, you know?

01:37:19.580 Look, when I say blacks, I envision myself as Gilbert Gottfried. 0.99

01:37:24.020 That's what I'm doing.

01:37:24.680 It's like the Aflac guy. 0.99

01:37:25.800 You should get Eric July on the show.

01:37:27.320 I actually feel like he'd be probably pretty funny if we brought him up.

01:37:32.180 Straight up. 1.00

01:37:33.240 Shit like that. 1.00

01:37:34.260 That has to be criteria. 1.00

01:37:35.500 Every black guest we have, we'd just be like, yeah, yeah. 1.00

01:37:37.900 So what are you doing next? 0.99

01:37:38.880 Do you wash chicken?

01:37:40.580 Never mind.

01:37:42.640 And we're like, no.

01:37:43.620 But you have to know some other brothers. 0.82

01:37:46.180 I mean, the odds of us ever having another black guest are nil. 1.00

01:37:49.580 But if we do, I am absolutely asking. 0.93

01:37:52.120 Let's get Patriot J back on, ask him that, and then kick him out of the show. 1.00

01:37:56.400 Dude, if Patriot J washes his chicken with soap, fuck, dude. 1.00

01:38:00.820 Yo, for real. 1.00

01:38:01.820 Patriot J and Olivia Ronda, they're the type of... 0.99

01:38:04.980 Yeah, the type of black people to wash their chicken for real. 1.00

01:38:07.300 100%. 1.00

01:38:07.680 God damn it. 1.00

01:38:08.200 That's so offensive, man. 1.00

01:38:09.660 Dude, this sucks. 0.99

01:38:11.140 In the genesis bracket... 0.98

01:38:12.580 You know what?

01:38:12.600 I actually feel like Hoteb probably would. 0.96

01:38:14.660 He probably has some, like, intricate explanation for it.

01:38:17.780 Dude, this is a new term.

01:38:19.600 We should...

01:38:20.180 Dude, this is a new...

01:38:22.600 This is a new term.

01:38:24.880 This is a chicken washer.

01:38:26.880 Yeah, dude, exactly.

01:38:28.160 Oh, my God.

01:38:28.700 You just thought of a great insult the next time it talks about the wash, didn't you?

01:38:32.540 That's what I was just about to say. 1.00

01:38:34.040 Dude, it's fucking chicken washer. 1.00

01:38:35.840 Dude, instead of movie talker... 1.00

01:38:37.800 Movie talker has been replaced yet.

01:38:39.940 It's chicken washer.

01:38:41.240 Talk with a banger. 1.00

01:38:41.780 We don't fucking need you, Cole. 1.00

01:38:51.820 Oh, my God. 1.00

01:38:53.880 Oh, man.

01:38:55.440 We need to send all the chicken washers back to Africa. 1.00

01:38:57.520 Our comment section... 0.98

01:38:59.060 Our comment section is literally just listing all of the black libertarians. 1.00

01:39:04.540 There's no way in hell Thomas the whole fucking wash the chicken. 0.99

01:39:11.580 We should have did a bracket. 0.99

01:39:12.460 And I bet you he looks down with such derision on every black he does.

01:39:16.580 We should have did a bracket. 0.98

01:39:19.060 It's called a black... 1.00

01:39:20.460 Oh, my God. 0.99

01:39:22.360 All the black libertarians would debate if they would wash their chicken. 0.98

01:39:25.460 The next tournament idea. 0.95

01:39:28.240 Please, no more tournament.

01:39:29.980 If we have Oathem Jesus on, we've got to have a list.

01:39:33.520 Look at it.

01:39:34.540 It won't be a tournament, but we have to decide.

01:39:37.320 Chicken washer or not.

01:39:39.400 I'm down to do that with Hotep, but I don't want to do a bracket. 0.98

01:39:42.400 But just one segment, that'd be funny as fuck. 0.99

01:39:44.940 That chicken washer stole my bike. 1.00

01:39:48.260 See, you guys like these games, but you don't like the format of a bracket.

01:39:53.760 That's the thing.

01:39:54.780 Thomas Sowell would never.

01:39:55.960 Thank you, Benzo.

01:39:56.940 I agree.

01:39:58.260 Thomas Sowell is the only libertarian-adjacent black who is not a chicken washer. 0.98

01:40:02.640 Thomas Sowell would come up with theory that would justify being racist against people

01:40:06.800 who do. 0.99

01:40:07.880 That's the kind of black he is. 0.99

01:40:09.520 Let me tell you. 0.98

01:40:11.360 The idea of washing a chicken is so great.

01:40:15.400 It's probably like, oh, man.

01:40:17.880 A blacket, yes.

01:40:19.340 I said a blacket. 0.97

01:40:20.740 It's probably like black people would be like, yo, I'm so black. 1.00

01:40:23.560 Like, you know, they'll say, like, some, like, shit that's, like, not even a stereotype, but 0.99

01:40:27.600 for, like, black people do. 0.99

01:40:29.060 Like, I'm so black, I still wash my chicken. 0.74

01:40:31.100 I swear to God, I bet you they say that and you don't know about it.

01:40:34.060 This is, like, an underground thing.

01:40:34.600 Oh, yeah.

01:40:34.920 You know what we should do?

01:40:35.720 You ever see that Keem Peel skit where they're, like, at some, like, you know, southern restaurant?

01:40:40.100 These are, like, kind of, like, almost, like, white black dudes, if you know.

01:40:43.080 Like, they're, like, in suits, like, clearly, like, and they're kind of trying to prove

01:40:45.880 to each other how hood they are.

01:40:47.020 And they can keep outdoing each other and be like, you know what?

01:40:49.720 I'll get the chitlins and be like, you know, never mind, cancel that order. 1.00

01:40:53.180 I'm going to get a fucking cow hoof. 0.99

01:40:56.960 Lil Dicky has an interesting idea. 0.99

01:40:58.360 You know what? 1.00

01:40:58.780 Fuck it. 1.00

01:40:59.260 Give me some of that Dawn washed chicken. 1.00

01:41:01.140 And they'd be like, oh, he's about to have a Dawn washed.

01:41:04.340 Yes.

01:41:04.720 Dawn washed.

01:41:05.020 Lil Dicky has an interesting idea here. 1.00

01:41:06.580 What we can do is we can take.

01:41:07.780 That chicken looks Dawn washed. 0.99

01:41:09.700 We can take all the black libertarians and, like, figure out which one meets the most black 0.99

01:41:16.000 stereotypes. 0.98

01:41:16.960 I take your Dawn washed chicken and raise you some money. 1.00

01:41:19.720 Motherfucking bleached chicken. 1.00

01:41:22.760 Oh, you got the store brand Clorox? 1.00

01:41:25.940 Are they a movie talker?

01:41:27.860 Oh, hey, Jesse Lee Peterson.

01:41:29.160 We got to circle. 1.00

01:41:29.700 I got that shit they use in laboratories. 1.00

01:41:32.420 Jesse Lee Peterson, even though he's, like, very racist against black, he 100% still washes 1.00

01:41:37.700 his chicken. 0.97

01:41:37.920 Oh, my God, yeah.

01:41:38.760 Because he's probably been doing it. 1.00

01:41:40.140 Like, it's probably some slave shit. 1.00

01:41:41.600 Like, it goes back to the slaves that we don't know about. 1.00

01:41:43.920 You know, I bet it's because they were getting the scraps off the table, so they had to

01:41:47.040 wash it before they ate it.

01:41:48.560 And now... 0.99

01:41:49.080 I bet you he'll make the argument that it's, like, the shitty... 0.97

01:41:54.560 I bet you Jesse Lee Peterson would find a way to twist it that it's, like, the shitty 1.00

01:41:58.540 black people that don't wash their chicken. 1.00

01:42:00.960 I guarantee you he would do some shit like that. 1.00

01:42:02.980 It's probably, like, the one part of his blackness that he holds on to and won't, like, apologize 1.00

01:42:09.480 for him. 1.00

01:42:09.720 The crazy thing is, he probably has no idea how stupid it is, too, because he's just been 1.00

01:42:13.600 doing it forever. 1.00

01:42:14.340 He's like, oh, fuck, I am black. 1.00

01:42:16.440 Wait, what? 1.00

01:42:16.600 Oh, you don't believe in tradition?

01:42:19.080 Well, you got to wash the demons away. 1.00

01:42:22.260 You been pissing out your asshole? 1.00

01:42:24.300 Eating that unwashed chicken? 1.00

01:42:27.080 What if that's the main reason they hate white people? 1.00

01:42:30.180 He's like, look at these fucking slimy whites. 1.00

01:42:33.180 You know, look at these cavemen eating the unwashed chickens. 1.00

01:42:36.620 What if chicken washing...

01:42:38.800 What if it's actual...

01:42:39.860 What if it's actually cultural appropriation?

01:42:43.260 What if...

01:42:44.180 Wait, what if...

01:42:47.080 No, what if...

01:42:48.060 What if chicken washing is cultural appropriation?

01:42:50.780 Because what happened was the slaves were slaughtering the chickens, and the white people were 0.98

01:42:56.460 like, we got to wash this chicken that's been, you know, handled by the... 0.73

01:43:00.160 These black slaves, we got to wash this chicken, and then they want it to be more like the 1.00

01:43:03.640 white people. 0.99

01:43:04.420 We have to be more... 0.88

01:43:05.980 More culture.

01:43:08.940 We got to wash this chicken.

01:43:10.800 You think...

01:43:11.620 I guarantee you.

01:43:15.120 There's a black person catering company that just like, like, they'd be like, we make so

01:43:18.700 much chicken, we just put it in the washing machine at this point.

01:43:21.620 The hand washing, it was close enough to a nickel and a dime. 1.00

01:43:24.580 I guarantee you, Jesse Pearson's argument for why you should wash your shit is probably 1.00

01:43:32.220 something like this. 1.00

01:43:33.320 Like, that's the problem with all these young boys these days.

01:43:36.120 They don't care no bit about tradition. 1.00

01:43:37.960 Yeah, Legion of Skates, fuck you. 1.00

01:43:39.980 We just created the greatest slur of 2023 right now. 1.00

01:43:45.400 It's the title of the episode.

01:43:47.120 We're going all in.

01:43:48.140 We don't...

01:43:48.580 Yo, don't even put a poll out.

01:43:49.820 This episode is called Chicken Washers, 100%.

01:43:51.860 All right, I want to do it anyway.

01:43:54.000 We're at the...

01:43:54.360 We was clean.

01:43:58.660 All right, guys.

01:43:59.580 Let's get... 0.97

01:44:00.220 Let's get the fuck out of here. 0.95

01:44:01.820 This is a high note. 0.98

01:44:03.300 We're at a high note.

01:44:04.040 We're at an hour 45. 0.99

01:44:05.000 I can fucking riff off this for 25 more minutes. 0.99

01:44:07.660 No, I got to pee really bad. 0.99

01:44:09.280 Go pee.

01:44:09.880 Go pee.

01:44:10.500 Come on.

01:44:11.300 We need...

01:44:11.640 I need the comments.

01:44:12.420 Just keep coming.

01:44:13.140 Keep giving me more and more.

01:44:14.340 This is...

01:44:14.540 Look, Malcolm X, his name is just a few letters off from me.

01:44:17.460 I'm going to come...

01:44:17.900 I'm going to come clean with the audience, and I'm not sure if this is related.

01:44:21.220 But I did take an edible, like, right before we started.

01:44:24.780 The guys told me to do it.

01:44:25.840 I didn't tell Clint.

01:44:26.480 I said, let's not tell Clint.

01:44:27.580 Let's see if he can realize.

01:44:28.780 But now I'm trying to...

01:44:29.560 Robert Donnie.

01:44:31.500 That's him in a tropic thunder, I believe.

01:44:35.120 Blackface. 0.94

01:44:35.500 Robert Donnie.

01:44:37.920 Yo, I had no idea you were out.

01:44:39.960 I think there's a correlation between what's going on now and what I did, and that's a dangerous

01:44:45.080 thing.

01:44:45.480 Because, like, I'm not going to do this all the time.

01:44:46.940 I just did this just once.

01:44:48.860 Oh, man. 1.00

01:44:49.880 Damn, dude. 1.00

01:44:50.720 If you get retardation... 1.00

01:44:52.780 If you eat... 1.00

01:44:53.120 Fucking chicken washers. 1.00

01:44:54.560 That's not... 1.00

01:44:54.740 If you eat chicken that you've washed in dish soap and you get retarded from it, is that 1.00

01:45:00.680 Don syndrome? 0.56

01:45:02.860 Don L. Rollins.

01:45:04.360 Don L.

01:45:05.340 Don L. 1.00

01:45:06.460 Holy shit. 0.99

01:45:07.900 I'm trying to think of a name that works with Clorox, but I can't figure it out. 1.00

01:45:10.900 What's the time frame that the first white person gets killed for calling a black person 0.82

01:45:15.600 a chicken washer? 0.94

01:45:16.780 And everyone's just like, well, he did call him a chicken washer. 1.00

01:45:20.500 Oh, shit. 1.00

01:45:21.400 The next time Toad is on public transportation, there's going to be a black dude who heard 1.00

01:45:24.960 about this, and they're going to hunt Toad's ass down. 0.99

01:45:27.280 It's going to be great. 0.98

01:45:27.940 Oh, I hope I encounter some tower gangbots.

01:45:31.060 Dave Sobel.

01:45:32.140 The beauty of this chicken washer thing...

01:45:33.900 Dave Sobel.

01:45:34.260 Dave Sobel.

01:45:34.860 I feel like the chicken washer thing is like...

01:45:37.180 Dave Sobel.

01:45:38.180 Dave Sobel's clean me!

01:45:39.420 Yes! 1.00

01:45:43.480 Yo, that's the fucking... 1.00

01:45:45.100 Shut the show down. 1.00

01:45:46.360 Dave Sobel's clean me.

01:45:47.780 Oh, my God.

01:45:49.020 This is our next black or whack, by the way. 0.98

01:45:52.000 Tell you who beat the bubbles! 0.99

01:45:53.680 Oh, my God!

01:45:55.020 This is black or whack right here. 1.00

01:45:57.120 Yo, Legion of Skanks, fuck you. 1.00

01:45:59.720 I know I work for you guys, but fuck you. 1.00

01:46:01.760 I'm telling you, this is like... 1.00

01:46:03.300 Alright, that's pretty good.

01:46:04.260 It all makes sense now.

01:46:10.340 That's why he had it.

01:46:12.100 Wow.

01:46:13.520 Yo, they keep...

01:46:14.640 You know how you keep Clorox...

01:46:15.360 It was in a hot sauce bottle, too, wasn't it?

01:46:17.920 He put bleach in a hot sauce bottle.

01:46:19.700 I think that's what it was.

01:46:20.580 He put bleach in a hot sauce bottle.

01:46:22.820 That's like two at once.

01:46:25.100 And they poured it on juicy. 1.00

01:46:29.260 That is incredible.

01:46:30.620 This is the greatest thing that's ever happened.

01:46:34.260 And Cole is just being like...

01:46:36.040 Cole has like two pieces of wood between his legs, and he's tied to the bed.

01:46:40.680 Honey, I'm sorry.

01:46:42.700 Cole's dead, so he'll never know.

01:46:44.960 Oh, my God.

01:46:45.780 I can't believe they...

01:46:46.780 Maybe they thought that... 0.99

01:46:47.860 They thought Jesse was a dirty chicken. 0.94

01:46:49.700 They were just trying to clean him. 0.78

01:46:57.220 I think they were just way ahead of the curve.

01:47:00.180 Like, this is coming up.

01:47:01.540 We're going to get a rebound later.

01:47:03.340 You know what I mean? 1.00

01:47:03.860 Like, they'll be like, oh shit, bleach? 1.00

01:47:05.580 They were thinking ahead with the racism. 1.00

01:47:09.320 Oh, man.

01:47:10.260 I feel like I'm going to have a heart attack.

01:47:11.240 This is the greatest thing that's ever happened.

01:47:12.820 My God.

01:47:13.300 God bless our check.

01:47:14.460 I'm dying.

01:47:14.560 God bless you guys.

01:47:15.540 This is so...

01:47:16.000 Clean, yay, wet.

01:47:16.980 Clean, yay, wet.

01:47:18.680 Jesse, clean, pierce.

01:47:20.820 Oh, yo.

01:47:22.080 W-E-B to bubbles, yo.

01:47:24.760 That's so dope.

01:47:26.080 That is so dope. 1.00

01:47:26.940 That's so retarded. 1.00

01:47:28.780 He's my favorite. 0.99

01:47:31.220 Oh, my God.

01:47:32.140 For real. 0.99

01:47:32.540 Let's get the fuck out of here. 0.99

01:47:33.380 I think Jose's right. 1.00

01:47:34.300 Let's end this shit on a high note. 0.98

01:47:35.760 I love everybody here. 1.00

01:47:37.400 Fucking next person. 0.99

01:47:38.760 Just call... 1.00

01:47:39.220 If your boss is black, just call him a chicken washer. 1.00

01:47:41.760 You have no idea. 1.00

01:47:42.640 This is the greatest shit ever, man. 1.00

01:47:43.640 Get this thing going. 1.00

01:47:44.480 Hey, let me just say, too.

01:47:45.400 I will not be here next Wednesday.

01:47:46.800 I'm going to be in Colorado.

01:47:47.860 So, if you're...

01:47:48.580 Come out.

01:47:49.080 See me at Liberty on the Rocks on Wednesday.

01:47:52.280 And then on Saturday, I'll be speaking at LP Colorado.

01:47:54.320 We're out.

01:47:54.460 Love you guys.

01:47:54.920 And me toed and topple-ups next week.

01:47:56.580 Yeah, exactly.

Tower Gang - March 23, 2023

Ep 115 - Chicken Washers

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