Ep 116 - Cum in a Cup
Episode Stats
Length
1 hour and 39 minutes
Words per Minute
208.2024
Hate Speech Sentences
310
Summary
Tower Gang is back, and this week the boys are joined by Cole, Jose, Top, and Cole to discuss a variety of topics, including: 1. Cole confesses to a threesome 2. Top confesses that he and his wife have sex in front of other people 3. Cole tells a story about how he got into threesomes in public 4. Jose confesses he has been in the public with his wife 5. Cole reveals that he has had sex in public with others 6. Top reveals that his wife masturbated to it 7. And so much more!
Transcript
00:00:06.840
So I can only fit a third of my dick into Toad's
00:00:12.000
You want to kill me or you want to give me a boner?
00:00:22.000
Where they put the whole thing in and then do that shit
00:01:06.000
We're back, we got Jose, we got Top, we got Toad
00:03:05.000
I think she's taking a shit in the room next to me
00:03:55.000
But there are definitely times where I've fucked
00:05:59.000
I don't know if I ever told you guys this story
00:06:53.000
Be like that is like the most fucked up thing ever
00:06:58.000
piece of shit he's got a piece of shit let's all come in this cup yeah guys and then we're gonna
00:07:06.760
pour but it's pretty fucked up we think about it because it froze so like you know that like
00:07:12.720
did you see him wait wait did you see him put it on the car uh yeah i remember he put it on
00:07:18.660
car door handles like it's his house door handle his car door handles because we knew they were
00:07:24.440
gonna have to touch at least one of them see so like because what makes me laugh would be like if
00:07:28.300
he's just like oh yeah we also come in a cup and i'll put it on there tomorrow guys don't worry
00:07:32.000
about i got this just give me the cup and i'll take care of it like like the homelander thing
00:07:37.020
because because he was and y'all are like oh yeah totally that's hilarious dude and like later on
00:07:46.700
you're like oh how'd that go and he was like what oh yeah no what great yeah totally put it on his
00:07:51.100
car i remember we all we all trekked out there to the dude's house in the middle of the night all
00:07:55.900
freezing just like we're gonna pour the jizz on his shit and uh yeah like it was so cold you could
00:08:00.820
almost see it freeze so it was like i don't know it's rather uh if it was to happen to you would
00:08:05.140
you rather the the cum handle or the uh shit on fire bag uh at your house probably cum handle
00:08:11.280
honestly because you'd never even know what is this and you just move on yeah you're just like i guess
00:08:15.460
it froze like i guess i got some little bit of rain last night just on this door handle
00:08:19.140
yeah i mean you'd be confused but now you'd be like you'd be like nice kids by the way cum
00:08:25.700
handle is going to be a new term like you know uh cum gutters right for like a dude who has you
00:08:30.840
know that v-shaped like ab well if it's a fat guy like me oh i can't i have cum handles yeah love
00:08:36.960
handles those are cum handles cum is scored in the love handles actually uh it's not stored in the
00:08:41.820
balls it's in the love handles like skinny skinny guys actually don't fuck they just they have to
00:08:46.640
borrow from like i'm losing my love handles and i'll never have another kid yeah all right you
00:08:51.760
guys want to get the mailbag uh so we can delay for top i don't know what he's doing i don't know
00:08:56.440
what he said we don't need to delay for him we're gonna go regardless let's do it i guess we'll do
00:09:01.840
the mailbag let's do it all right so tommy asks is the new shooting a false flag or a trainee just
00:09:09.580
getting desperate to give kids new holes dude it was so crazy how immediately i mean and i've seen
00:09:16.480
both sides of it and i can kind of my conspiracy brain's like oh i like that this is a false flag
00:09:20.620
and that it actually wasn't the same shooter because of the shoe thing you see that you i guess
00:09:24.820
i saw that yeah i think that was bullshit though i think that was bs yeah it was like it was the
00:09:29.400
lightning and the pants were down over the shoe a little bit it was the same shoe yeah and but like
00:09:33.800
the only weird angle i've seen so far is apparently melissa joan hart was there and on top of it i
00:09:40.000
guess i saw this from ben swan like made a whole like that's sabrina twitch call yeah ben swan made
00:09:46.500
a little mini thread about it and melissa joan hart was at there like she was on there for some
00:09:51.040
things she was actually helping kids get out supposedly and she was also at sandy hook so it's
00:09:56.400
like i don't know it's weird no this is like go look at ben swan's page scroll through it on
00:10:02.480
twitter any of the math mcconaughey uvaldi connection it's like these celebrities are
00:10:06.420
yeah connected to all of these if you live in a town of a famous celebrity your kids will die
00:10:11.680
so yeah that's exactly right this feels organic to me but at the same time if you think about
00:10:16.520
the aftermath and what is caused and the fact that now conservatives are clamoring for gun control
00:10:20.940
it's like i don't know maybe it was an op or maybe just you know they just played it right
00:10:24.700
it's crazy like they didn't realize she lives next door allegedly are we talking about the
00:10:30.860
bracket right now what's going on guys no no we're talking about the new shooting dude the one that
00:10:34.560
just happened with that tranny yeah oh yeah by the way this shooting wins the bracket just
00:10:39.660
the uh what i was thinking was like fucking until fucking top
00:10:46.360
i lost my train of thought damn it it was me not not the plasma you gave yes years ago i don't know
00:10:54.940
you were talking about melissa joan hart something something with celebrities being close to all these
00:10:59.600
shootings i don't know what were you gonna say i can't remember fucking fuck but it was just it was
00:11:04.760
just a very like no i remember what i was gonna say it's funny that they kind of they just now
00:11:09.420
figured out how to get conservatives on the gun control and they're just like oh yeah just make it
00:11:13.420
somebody that they hate yeah they were like for this whole time they already had the liberals in the
00:11:18.680
left already like that was going to control before that was already a given they didn't have to do
00:11:22.600
anything to get them on and they were just like oh wait if we just send a tranny in to kill these
00:11:27.140
kids conservatives are gonna be all for this so we get both sides for it it's it's really funny
00:11:32.400
that's right and then top and i i got like a bunch of shit for not even we were not advocating for gun
00:11:37.300
control or i wasn't i don't think you were either and we were at we're technically technically it is
00:11:41.220
gun control but it's a gun control that we actually that is actually correct it's a yeah it's a
00:11:45.780
private association you are mentally ill i'm not gonna yeah sell you this it's only okay when i do it
00:11:53.620
that's how i that's my theory on on everything look uh look if you chop your dick off uh i think
00:12:00.100
that uh somebody should also remove your arms that's all i'm saying i get it what no i get it
00:12:06.600
you say you don't bear oh yeah it was that it was it was a high level joke i mean like yeah that's
00:12:12.600
that's gonna kill that's all me remember that's good you remember the episode where i did all
00:12:17.280
that's gonna that's gonna kill an insane asylum toad like my oral sex joke either the fucking of
00:12:24.100
the ear dude all right next question little dicky oh wait okay what do you all right what do you got
00:12:32.460
what do you got go for it what was this question it was it basically wasn't it wasn't an op this
00:12:37.100
basically wasn't an op i don't think it was an op i think this person legitimately was like
00:12:41.880
well one that yes they're mentally ill the trannies which i think uh that was actually
00:12:46.720
one of top's arguments was but but are they actually he actually came into our chat and top
00:12:51.380
was like by the way i think all trainees are mentally ill like all of them it's funny the
00:12:56.400
cool trannies we know are usually like yeah we're mentally ill yeah here's the question though here's
00:13:01.340
the question and it's like by definition they are they literally like they say like i i feel like
00:13:06.900
i'm a different person they reject a different body somebody i started that's schizophrenia i started
00:13:11.700
what is it clint left and etiquette mike etiquette is just out the window cool it guys i'm sorry
00:13:17.080
i was like i'm just gonna talk over everybody because nobody listens to me anyway right well
00:13:23.380
go to sleep go to bed well we could talk about that but my my question about this though is is this
00:13:29.860
person actually trans or it's like what is a transfer it just looks like a chick that didn't
00:13:35.620
wash her hair honestly exactly it's a chick who looks it's a chick who dresses like a dude did you see
00:13:40.460
a room that picture of a room do we have a picture of all that oh it's it's hilarious it's like can we
00:13:45.040
find it dirty and then there's like a nato flag a train a trans flag a gay flag and like a communist
00:13:51.320
flag all on this and then i think now like anime waifus like a picture it's really fucking funny and
00:13:57.300
like a gamer chair like i was like this is this is the mentally ill person right here
00:14:01.600
are you able to find that pic i haven't seen i think it was um oh fuck i saw it it was uploaded i want
00:14:09.700
us it was either boku harambe uh fuck yes i'm gonna need you to dig through someone on twitter's
00:14:15.540
account please that guy is awesome yeah he is cool i'm just it's just like quite a wild goose chase
00:14:23.080
to send a producer he's probably tweeted like 20 times since then that's what he's here for man
00:14:28.680
i started i started blocking people on twitter on this because i decided to double down and then
00:14:34.520
now i'm on my like 10th round of just like i guess what how would that be 10 tupling down
00:14:40.080
and yeah somebody posted like a picture of blair white with the gun you remember when she said
00:14:45.760
something like or he said something like uh i'm packing yeah pretty much i'm gay tranny yeah that
00:14:51.940
one thank you yeah oh my god jc is saying that that's not the person like and i guess it's saying
00:14:58.720
it's misinformation this isn't a shooter but i would understand if that look at the gundam wing
00:15:03.140
in the top left if i was a gun dealer and you brought me your picture of your room i'd be like
00:15:08.500
yeah i'm not selling you a gun i just love the it's the nato because that's the nato flag isn't
00:15:14.020
yeah that is yeah i think the nato the tranny flag the gay flag and then some is that a like what is
00:15:19.980
that flag on the right i don't know what that is probably some communist um some communist bullshit
00:15:24.940
yeah well it's red like it definitely is i mean really it's communist bullshit but i don't know
00:15:30.300
i don't know what it is and then the anime is that the uh the sword from fucking um final fantasy 7
00:15:36.580
yeah yeah oh no no that's what fuck what's that oh my god no that's bachelor sword oh that is
00:15:43.740
totally like some shit like from like bleach or some anime anime so an anime guy going like
00:15:49.120
he ran he ran through the church with his arms behind him like naruto run and then uh that would
00:15:58.840
be awesome someone fucking legit use like a giant anime sword for a mask and then what's what's what's
00:16:05.780
the one next to the what's the one next to the pride flag i don't even know one of those others
00:16:09.700
but the problem is they're all like every mass shooter is some spindly little person and so like
00:16:19.420
they're trying to lug this huge ass like sword around yeah it is funny the gun was some gay-ass
00:16:26.800
keltech nine millimeter like bullshit like i don't know and then it's just funny that that and then
00:16:33.300
it's a woman and they only rack up what like four like six what the fuck six but yeah six so how many
00:16:40.960
how many how many would uh how many kids would you have to kill to actually become a man like would
00:16:45.940
you that way you'd be like okay that's that's a manly number right at least five i mean kids are
00:16:49.740
easy to kill yeah i mean it's kind of a conundrum because it's not masculine behavior one but if you
00:16:56.260
were for some reason able to if you were to like i don't know say you did this moment like where you
00:17:00.800
broke the matrix and you're just like ah fuck it none of this matters and you i'm gonna kill
00:17:04.500
everyone anyways it's all just made up in my head like i don't know i feel like i could take out at
00:17:08.680
least like 20 like come on yeah oh that's fair hand fair hands i could take out 20 yes i could
00:17:13.880
fucking give me that give me that sword over there forget about it 45 easy i mean i mean i mean this
00:17:20.240
person did also carry out like three just really late-term abortions so definitely female behavior
00:17:26.160
and then all right man suicided by cop basically reaching which did you see trans behavior yes the
00:17:32.300
um i was seeing a bunch of memes from like gun like gun instagram and gun twitter about um lpvo's
00:17:38.980
because the fucking cop that killed him uh her whatever the fuck uh mentioned like you turn on the lpvo
00:17:47.320
and so like all the manufacturers like fuck yeah and then fucking just like down to down to her
00:17:53.660
whatever those those cops uh put out basically uh that should be like a training video for like
00:17:59.400
the uvalde cops and whatever bro i'll tell you the truth i still haven't really watched the video i
00:18:04.140
don't know any of the details all i do know about this whole thing is that after seeing this person
00:18:09.420
i was like we just probably shouldn't let trainees have guns i feel like this is common sense shit
00:18:13.660
i don't know why i'm getting so much like so so much pushback on this this is fairly easy to say
00:18:20.300
you're not we're not selling kids uh kids to guns we're not selling kids guys 100 definitely not
00:18:29.520
uh but i'm starting the guns for kids charity actually why would you sell guns to somebody
00:18:34.420
whose brain is like a child it's like they can't understand basic shit and uh gender so like right
00:18:40.740
i mean i guess it like are you gonna sell a gun to a retarded person like legitimately i like would
00:18:45.760
which should we be selling guns to retarded i would sell a gun to a retarded person before i
00:18:50.060
would sell a gun to a tree that's true they are pretty they're really nice like all down people
00:18:54.640
are like really nice they would probably only pull it out to kill a tranny
00:19:00.460
the cop who actually did it was actually retarded so there you go i don't understand it but okay
00:19:10.400
who is going to enforce that get out of your gay gay theory shit but for that we literally have all
00:19:17.520
been very clear i guess maybe not very clear some of us have been a little bit more ambiguous than
00:19:21.420
others i'm trying to make it as obscure as possible what i think that's the best way i like i feel like
00:19:28.100
i did it best out of all of us although you you guys were a little bit more playing it towards almost
00:19:33.080
like you're trying to intentionally get people to misunderstand you but i i play it right in
00:19:37.680
the middle where it's like you get you have to choose to be a faggot like i i made i had still
00:19:42.200
people that were idiots about it i put some shit like repeal the civil rights act and create social
00:19:46.600
stigma against selling guns against black people oh sorry yeah and uh and and i was like and like i put
00:19:53.420
a little bit more to it but essentially the idea of being like that that people you should like enable
00:19:57.800
people to not fucking do that like i've i have a business and i have turned down people obviously i
00:20:02.720
don't say to their face we come up with some reason or we still ignore them because i'll be like look at
00:20:06.540
this fucking trash i'm not giving them fucking giving them trash cats are fucking rats but yeah
00:20:14.400
like if you have a product especially especially something that's a little bit more expensive that
00:20:18.560
you know you're gonna be able to sell like why would you want to ruin your brand like that it's
00:20:22.640
just fucking retarded like it you know but right now i think i'm pretty sure the way the fucking uh
00:20:27.280
civil rights act is is like i don't think you can discriminate based on gender and technically
00:20:31.380
the tranny stuff is gender stuff so like you i mean obviously you could just like not sell it to
00:20:36.440
him for make up a reason but right i mean you may have a lawsuit in your hands then whereas if you
00:20:41.260
get rid of some like shit like civil rights act you'd be like fuck you tranny get the fuck out of
00:20:45.160
here here's here's a here's an actual question would you rather a convicted felon and i'll even go
00:20:53.500
pretty far murderer convicted murderer gets out of jail should they be able to buy a gun over a tranny
00:21:00.040
yes uh i don't know well i'm gonna i've there of sound mind that's that's like that's a good point
00:21:09.140
i've i've uh argued for arming all the trannies however though given the 40 statistics so and this
00:21:16.420
isn't a law thing this is more like if you were a gun if you're a gun shop owner and you're like
00:21:21.200
like two people walked in a tranny obviously because you can tell what they look like um and
00:21:27.120
then a convicted felon murder a black guy oh yeah exactly and so they both walked in what about the
00:21:33.000
fear i would not sell to all trannies but like there's like a difference there's like there's
00:21:38.120
like civilized trannies and they're like troons we're just like look at that weird motherfucker
00:21:42.860
you're like i will not sell you a gun like there's a difference there's like yeah but we've got
00:21:47.180
to set a standard jose well i mean that's the thing you as an individual you can kind of make
00:21:52.000
your own loose standards and be like all right whatever like yeah it's a chick with a dick but
00:21:56.220
like i don't know they seem all right and like look at this fucking freak you know like there's a
00:22:01.040
difference you know like there's something like the ma'am dude you know like that that dude i'd be
00:22:06.640
like i'm not giving that motherfucker a gun that would that would be really funny they just walk in
00:22:11.140
and they just pretend to be a man like they just don't pretend they just stop pretending to be
00:22:15.280
whatever they think they are they're just like oh man it's like and they're just like hey that's
00:22:19.800
my problem that's exactly my problem with this whole thing is like they're like oh well who's
00:22:24.000
to determine who's crazy you're gonna let the government it's like it's not really who's to
00:22:28.100
determine but if somebody comes like right right up to me and they say hey i'm out of my mind and
00:22:33.020
i'm showing you by i have lipstick smeared up to my ear here and i'm wearing a dress that doesn't
00:22:39.480
fit my legs are hairy and i have a huge adam's apple right and i'm just like and on weekends i twerk
00:22:44.860
in front of children yeah it's like listen i'm really trying to work with you here but you look
00:22:49.900
fucking crazy and i feel like as a society we need to just be like all right if you're just telling us
00:22:55.940
straight up that that you're crazy we have to believe you we can't like i'm not gonna fight
00:23:00.240
you about this so if you're crazy you want to be crazy cool let's make some rules here no no guns
00:23:05.120
for women how about that that's actually i'll settle on that yeah no yeah it's a compromise
00:23:10.640
you want to identify as a woman all right checkmate well yeah i actually love that because i'm like
00:23:16.400
it's like oh you oh i guess jose just said it identifies a woman yeah yeah the best part is
00:23:22.180
about this so even this person uh that identifies as a man we can still be like no you're actually a
00:23:27.880
woman and then if a woman identifies as a man and be like no actually you're a man we just make this
00:23:32.880
shit up and like just spit it it'll be it's beautiful only guys only street white males can
00:23:38.960
make a world that liberals think they actually live in jacob in the chat says so blair white can still
00:23:47.520
have guns honestly i'd be fine with blair like it being like like not like joking around like i
00:23:52.860
would be dead like you look at blair white and you're like okay yeah i guess you're a tranny but
00:23:56.380
like you seem malice i don't know to protect her anyway i would still say no out of principle guys we
00:24:01.880
have to draw a hard line blair white i'm sorry no that's it it's just got to be like yes and no
00:24:08.540
listen i mean come on are we i feel like i'm in bizarro land the last few days arguing with these guys
00:24:14.160
i'm so i'm so far i don't know what's in i thought you thought it was me like toad yeah i'm so far
00:24:21.580
at the end of this that i'm like i'm i'm willing to be like maybe libertarians shouldn't even have
00:24:25.720
guns because these people are fucking retarded and like they're wearing it on their shit anybody who
00:24:30.040
owns a shirt from top lobster.com is not allowed to have guns i'm making the rules hard and fast
00:24:37.420
right now fuck you guys we'll start with jacob really think about it like if you're a dude to chick
00:24:42.160
you are either one chopping up your genitals clearly insane or you're literally buffalo billing it and
00:24:48.000
tucking your wiener between your legs and shit like a fucking idiot like so no either way you're a
00:24:52.740
crazy person it's objectively crazy right oh no i i i did i tuck my uh dick between my legs every
00:24:58.720
once in a while during college just to prank some buddies should i not have a good gun well
00:25:03.440
you're not doing that regularly and taking cute pictures there is another option here though okay
00:25:09.240
i mean thank you thank you come on guys there is another option where the where the person who does
00:25:13.740
that is not actually insane and they're just trying to dominate women's sports oh my god i totally
00:25:18.100
want to take a nude picture with my my shit tuck now we should we should all do it
00:25:23.660
one of my buddies in uh with it with a gun one of my buddies in college like we would oh my god
00:25:30.940
trans rights like some caption like that but like clearly just normal us but with our wiener tuck
00:25:36.880
between our legs just the tuck roll baby would you uh would you trim up for that would you like
00:25:43.700
manscape a little bit i know toad well yeah yeah yeah you go extra bush like grow out every time i
00:25:51.100
shave i get no pussy so no i'm not shaving i'm not starting this over i did have a buddy in college
00:25:58.360
that so at my college i went to a christian college uh super but we had we had like a bed check every
00:26:04.360
night uh which is really gay but i think they stopped it now uh got any ladies in there but so
00:26:10.580
the ra would come through and they would check they would knock your door and come in so he just
00:26:14.580
stood at the door and tucked his shit and then just bent over and so did he do the the customary
00:26:23.120
man and he was like what the dude we used to play that game when i was in like military training
00:26:31.160
like we would like not basic but like tech school after when we had a little bit more freedom that
00:26:36.180
was the game we played all the time where like i would legit be in the dorms like where anyone could
00:26:40.100
like in the hallways where anyone could walk through and i'd go up to like my buddy's door
00:26:42.780
and like like completely tuck my shit between my legs and like be standing in the hallway like
00:26:47.260
exposed anyone could come around the corner i just knock and then he'd come in like man
00:26:55.740
oh that's true you guys ever seen from the left you ever seen the batman you know what that is
00:27:02.800
that you mean the bat wing the bat wing yeah yeah spread your uh your ball uh skin
00:27:07.920
yeah yeah oh your ball i thought you're gonna say your asshole because i was thinking of goat see
00:27:12.740
my my goat was goat but my secondary was brain the gat the bat wings kind of the brain the brain is
00:27:18.900
where you take it and it's just your balls you just squeeze it like a cold i know all of this just from
00:27:24.640
uh the moving waiting is a great fucking movie watch it and it explains all of these yeah don't tell me
00:27:31.320
you guys don't know who goat see is though really is that a fucking singer uh no no it's a youtube guy
00:27:37.100
no no it was it was bad artist it was back in the day of those shock images that was one of them and
00:27:43.100
it was this dude bending over and like spreading his asshole to such an insane degree yeah exactly
00:27:49.100
yeah yeah those like fingers in his asshole yeah it's a famous picture i've seen it because it was uh
00:27:55.380
like i saw one that was for some reason it was like all a bunch of planes and like in the
00:27:59.640
dude that is like one of the most one of the most not not up not the most but disturbing things
00:28:04.680
importantly if you ever be scrolling through and you see the thumbnails and then you just see
00:28:07.720
gaping butthole and you're like why and then you just keep going like i don't know that just
00:28:11.460
disturbs me i'm like who the fuck is into like here's my gaping butthole maybe you should get off
00:28:15.960
i don't know why they keep suggesting it i watch one gay porn i know i know i didn't know the i've
00:28:27.180
heard the name goat see and i know what i couldn't i didn't connect the two that's but i understand who
00:28:33.760
it is we had uh at my college at one point somebody had put up all these flyers for a supposed event
00:28:39.360
uh like a play called the goat see monologues i don't think it was i don't think it was real but
00:28:44.560
it was just goat see like plastered all over campus all right what we got next little dicky
00:28:50.000
yeah it was me on this one all right so liminal vibration asks it's 2024 president joe exotic has
00:28:58.000
selected tower gang to be his cabinet which one of y'all is going to fill the following roles of you
00:29:03.040
know vice president secretary of defense secretary of state treasury press secretary chief of staff
00:29:08.780
you know all that crap honestly you don't have enough people uh jose jose would be chief of staff
00:29:14.080
he's been in the military so i mean that's exactly where you go uh chief of staff just kind of like
00:29:19.160
handles the like manages the administration well we're eliminating the department of defense
00:29:24.200
yeah i'm pretty sure none of these people do anything so i would take any role staff has nothing
00:29:29.040
to do with the military i thought it did i thought chief of staff was the pretty sure chief of staff
00:29:32.920
just kind of manages the fucking like uh the office people at the i think it'd be really funny like
00:29:38.300
was it like you're the chief of staff like what do you do he's like uh monica monica monica
00:29:44.100
monica was chief of staff why are you coming in with all these questions bro pretty sure he just
00:29:48.680
manages like the president's bitches is basically all he is he's like kind of coordinates that stuff
00:29:52.760
if i remember correctly so i want the position be good for that keep them bitches in line
00:29:57.580
yeah yeah yeah i mean i do keep bitches in line but i guess whatever position i can grift the most
00:30:03.980
off of so i mean that's that's the um the one that michael malice wants to do for dave the fucking
00:30:09.500
dude vp is a peak grift i think yeah yeah vp i would i would if as vp i would undermine uh joe dirt
00:30:16.360
it's like uh vp is like you ever watch blue mountain state and like the whole idea is like he's
00:30:20.980
like he's like the second quarterback like that is what it is it's like you get like peak fucking
00:30:27.440
like perks all the perks no responsibility yeah you just chill back be like no one cares i i just
00:30:33.300
go around like all you have to do is press tours that's it you just have to go around and be like
00:30:36.820
hey i'm meeting some minors today today i made some teachers that's all you have to fucking do
00:30:40.800
and like all your speeches already written for you like no one gives a fuck what you say you're the
00:30:45.060
you're the vice president but everybody is also like yeah he was a vice president you still get
00:30:50.760
secret service for the rest of your life and all like you still get to probably like make a bunch
00:30:54.640
of money off of speaking tours and everything all right you probably get a point the problem is toad
00:31:00.380
like the way he does his puns his delivery is off he has good puns his deliveries and so it's like it
00:31:06.540
doesn't click in the moment like if he'd accentuated staff in the proper way and delivered it correctly
00:31:12.000
chief of uh full staff would have would have really made it yeah he delivered it correctly it's just
00:31:17.860
when you deliver 99 just fucking stinkers and you get one good one and it's hard for me to like
00:31:24.260
really to roll with you i said good one i said it did go over my head because i thought he was just
00:31:30.440
making a joke like because he just wanted to mention monica lewinski for some reason no i was
00:31:35.440
i was intern you fucking idiot president clinton he was he was chief of staff
00:31:41.060
but vp can like totally run things to like dick cheney like he was completely in charge you know if you
00:31:49.240
have a puppet president like yeah like obama is right now yeah if your president decides to do
00:31:55.260
shit then yeah sure prove me wrong prove me that obama isn't running it from from behind the scenes
00:31:59.740
right now i literally said he was going to do it literally said if i could be president i would
00:32:04.420
rather just have be behind the scenes and have somebody fill in for me and i just tell them what
00:32:09.000
to do by the way i do think toad would be a dope a pretty damn good joke writer i just don't i think
00:32:13.680
he just lacks the delivery like i would be the i'd be the court jester i'd be the jester in the uh
00:32:20.020
cabinet i'm trying to think what i could i i want to say top top would be the best press secretary
00:32:25.120
because he would not give a fuck about that i agree like you'd be like fuck you you're gay next
00:32:29.580
question yeah yeah we'll uh we'll put clint over in charge of the treasury yeah i mean that's easy
00:32:35.260
um what is there is there like a what's the one for is there like a secretary of agriculture or
00:32:42.640
some shit because i feel like yeah that'll be reed yeah we can do that shit whatever um
00:32:47.360
he's like i think what does secretary of state do the real department of transportation the
00:32:54.380
shocking thing here is like that that we're finding out we don't know any of the positions and we also
00:32:59.080
don't know what they do so we're just spitballing if i had to guess i feel like secretary of state
00:33:04.680
probably has something to do with the fed boys that would be my guess secretary of state
00:33:08.300
the only reason i do that is because he's already a fed he gets to just control he just gets to
00:33:13.920
clint just gets a promotion basically secretary of state goes around and talks to other leaders
00:33:20.700
oh he's a diplomat oh that makes sense yeah i feel like honestly i'll be secretary of state i'm good
00:33:25.960
with new people i'll just go out there i feel like i'm good at that i feel like i feel like
00:33:31.220
like networking i'm pretty good but you know you're a cat dealer man yes dog
00:33:36.720
wait he's gonna sling your networking's working pretty great you made it to the top of your
00:33:42.660
sling pussy i'm fucking killing it right now i mean they're they're underselling me right now over
00:33:47.940
all that they're sending all these russia cats over here underselling me and we're still thriving so
00:33:51.620
you know oh yeah adapt oh dick we got any other ones yeah next question all right your last one
00:33:59.500
is gonna be keith who says where i work has only one toilet my co-worker keeps leaving specks of
00:34:05.080
shit on the toilet seat from a libertarian perspective how should i handle this on the
00:34:09.840
toilet seat who can murder them wait on the toilet seat on the toilet seat i was thinking like the
00:34:16.460
like the bowl because like i'm not gonna lie i paint the back of the bowl at work i don't go fuck
00:34:20.320
yeah well that just happens if you get on the toilet seat and you know it's one other guy
00:34:25.040
you might have to shit in his lunchbox he's clean i thought you were gonna say his mouth
00:34:29.200
he's claiming dominance right now and he's winning and because you're here asking us what you should
00:34:34.060
do i think you stop being a bitch just either piss or come on it next just be like just like i mean
00:34:39.840
all over it like piss like definitely start with piss and bleed on it you know you should you know
00:34:45.660
what you should do is you should get yourself and all your other co-workers and come in a cup
00:34:49.220
i i just had that light bulb go off too and then you beat me too but honestly if he's shitting on
00:34:58.600
the seat you piss on the seat and then you just have a battle to see who can do it more and by the
00:35:03.880
end it's just going to be a shit piss covered thing what you do what you do is you didn't move
00:35:08.260
do you guys do the move like if there's ever like a shit speck on your toilet bowl yeah you piss it off
00:35:12.780
right yeah that's what you do you do that on the toilet seat just piss on it no this is what you do
00:35:16.460
i don't know i don't know where you work bring bring a screwdriver flat screwdriver to work
00:35:22.620
uninstall the toilet seat yeah just uninstall it clean it and when you go in then you use it
00:35:29.820
and then that is one of our cool trannies that's my favorite tranny yeah i am so sorry for what you've
00:35:37.120
had to see me say these last couple of days i i'm not i bet i bet she he whatever agrees with you
00:35:42.520
yeah no no yeah yeah lane i think agrees with you i have i have one more uh idea here if you really
00:35:49.240
know who this is that's doing that what you can do is it when if you can somehow know that he's the
00:35:53.840
next person that's going to use that toilet you can put saran wrap over the toilet so it looks like
00:35:58.360
there's nothing there at all so he's just going to go in and like take a shit like normally or whatever
00:36:02.880
piss if he pisses it's going to like ricochet off the saran wrap he's going to piss
00:36:06.960
all over himself and if he shits he's going to be like sitting in his own you can't see saran
00:36:11.300
you might be fucking blind you would feel it if you sat down and yeah like i think he's saying you
00:36:15.780
would put it here's under the seat yeah here's what you do because lane i think was on to something
00:36:20.260
uh he he she said uh wipe it up and collect tissue and stuff no wipe it up and collect dna
00:36:27.900
then you put it into like one of these dolls yes thank you thank you very much anyway you yeah you
00:36:33.680
you get his shit you get the dna it's like hair then you put it into a voodoo doll and then you
00:36:38.800
just fucking do voodoo on him and torture that's the way that's top i want to go back to saran wrap
00:36:44.260
thing even that doesn't work because even if you put it under the seat i mean i don't know maybe you
00:36:48.980
guys got tiny little asses but my ass will still submerge far enough to feel that like you're gonna
00:36:53.500
be like why am i doing on plastic i i have no ass yeah this is wait are you saying you have a huge
00:36:58.400
ass or a small ass because i can tell if you have a small ass like your your butt will not conform to
00:37:03.260
the outside of like the no no so no because i think you're like you're like sitting in it's not
00:37:09.120
big it's too big really i feel like no one in i really feel like no matter what size your ass is
00:37:13.520
you're gonna feel that saran wrap even if you put that's true and also if you can't see saran wrap
00:37:17.440
either it like it's i mean and i've never looked at the toilet and seen it shitting in the dark
00:37:21.280
no no no no no no i shit in the dark because i'm uh i'm embarrassed you can stretch it like
00:37:27.200
like taut enough like like your goat sees asshole or whatever you stretch it taut enough you won't
00:37:32.040
i don't care what you do with saran wrap i'm gonna see that like i'm not gonna be like like i would
00:37:37.340
open up the toilet and be like someone put saran wrap on the toilet how is this guy shitting on the
00:37:41.660
toilet seat i just i don't apparently he's very fat he's extremely fat so i'm guessing right his ass
00:37:47.640
crack probably extends we usually know those fatties have huge ass cracks yeah and so he probably
00:37:52.420
doesn't know where his butthole is and so he's sitting where he thinks his butthole is but his
00:37:56.840
butthole is not right there so he's getting and there's probably some sort of like because of the
00:38:02.520
fat it's so condensed you know like his shit spreads out along these fire ass cracks dude nice dude i did
00:38:11.240
uh i did i did pull today but uh get him started jeez sorry come on
00:38:17.640
wait this uh this mailbag is from keith right he's the one that submitted this he's saying the
00:38:24.860
dude is like morbidly obese yeah so i'm guessing if someone's ass is long and also very like compacted
00:38:32.180
the shit will like the pressure will cause it to uh to go across the entire ass crack and part of
00:38:38.760
his ass crack is probably just sitting on the uh toilet seat i have a i have a perfect solution
00:38:43.520
for you this is what you do you get him you kill him then you take his fat you render it down into
00:38:49.200
soap and then you clean the toilet seat with it and we want to be very clear here we don't want
00:38:53.080
the state to do this we want individual there could be another situation here where the dude is just so
00:39:00.760
unclean that like the splatter of his previous shits is still on his ass and then he's getting that on
00:39:06.080
the seat i think that's what he also said that he is very hairy so he probably has dingleberries
00:39:10.000
dingleberries just touching which would be really gross but just fat people fat people shouldn't be
00:39:16.260
allowed to own guns either i think fat people should get their own toilets they should have their own
00:39:22.060
stall like this is the fat stall you know the handicapped of their own toilets look they should
00:39:26.080
actually share they'd be like this is just fat people toilets they're a lot larger um and like they
00:39:31.840
could care you know there's like i don't know what the i wonder what the weight limit is of a
00:39:35.560
regular toilet oh let me tell you guys a story i would only be real quick i would only be okay with
00:39:40.520
this because i feel like you're granting them extra privileges i'd only be okay with this if like
00:39:44.940
in their stall it's just like humiliating like graffiti like you're a fat baggie you're a whole
00:39:50.280
shit fuck you you stupid bitch no no i'll say it better jose they have their own bathroom so it's
00:39:56.080
just kind of like the same as like uh the black people having their own um like uh fucking water
00:40:01.600
fountains the fat people have their own bathroom so you just to see them like embarrassingly go into
00:40:06.140
the fat like bathroom look at the fatty go to the fat and then like every time the door opens there's
00:40:11.580
like an automatic little like audio thing that plays oh fucking fatty shitting again but also but
00:40:16.280
then you see like the fatty try to go into the regular bathroom like what the fuck you going in there
00:40:19.760
no no no you get your your ass in the fat bathroom asshole but there is a fat one right there's
00:40:24.500
the door is extra skinny you have to like the normal people even have to go in sideways so
00:40:27.960
like no that's a handicap bathroom it's the handicap stall yeah but also uh fat people by the way they
00:40:33.840
don't need uh to be armed because they have their own natural bulletproof vest that's not true i saw
00:40:39.400
it on uh uh what's it called demolition ranch they actually did that uh he shot a fat guy
00:40:44.320
nope they're just as uh easily susceptible as bullets as everyone else you're sure it wasn't
00:40:50.400
oh make the fat bathroom all mirrors that would yeah that's right yeah
00:40:54.360
so you guys remember at my at my house at the comedy show my aunt was sitting on at the table
00:40:59.360
it's like real big lady real big ass all right so yeah he's like oh i remember so in brooklyn
00:41:09.620
and uh uh i used to be over there all the time and her toilet seat broke like the the little screws
00:41:16.520
that hold it in probably wash it right now your mom's gonna pass on the word oh she's gonna come
00:41:23.120
up here and punch me whatever the screws that hold the toilet seat in they were always like
00:41:26.560
loot getting loose in on her toilet seat and one day she said yeah i think it's danny because he's
00:41:32.040
always here and he takes he takes the toilet seat he picks it up every time and puts it down when he
00:41:35.980
pisses and i was like you think it's me picking it up and not you sitting on it with your ass like
00:41:40.320
i don't know every time he goes in there just loosening the screws just loosening it slightly
00:41:45.040
just i was like that shit still amazes me this is like 15 years ago it's like unbelievable
00:41:50.120
yeah gas that's how you gaslight people's gaslight that woman by just loosening
00:41:55.600
every little just loosen a little bit and be like you fat bitch
00:41:59.480
that's what you got to do to keep your woman thin of course yeah also someone did ask how fat
00:42:06.360
a junkie that's how fat you have to be for the fat toilets i would say this is another social
00:42:10.480
stigma thing like after at some point the the workplace the thing will see if a person of
00:42:16.560
whatever size go into the regular uh bathrooms and they'll have to be like pull them aside and be
00:42:22.020
like hey man i think it's time for you to start using the fat bathroom now i think that's right
00:42:26.200
it should just be the fattest person in that place even if you're not that fat it's like you're
00:42:31.480
kind of you're not as skinny as the rest of them so use a fat bathroom fatty i like that because
00:42:35.880
i'll get to use it quite a bit so would you tote tote if you were which if you had to go to the fat
00:42:42.320
bathroom and let's say it's not a good bathroom like they just like intentionally don't clean it
00:42:47.060
like there's like it's just a hole in the floor no way make make the toilets like really low to the
00:42:54.120
ground no that's actually good like super wide like make them super wide but really low i would
00:42:58.360
have to like really bend over maybe they get some type of leg workout every time they sit down and
00:43:03.080
like i don't know there's other little things i guess all mirrors would be hilarious so understand
00:43:08.320
though that squatting is uh is correct shitting form so you're like colon is totally straight so
00:43:14.680
the shit just slides right out so i would actually oh my god i just figured it out the asians have it
00:43:19.900
right the fat toilet no toilet seat and it's super low to the ground so they have to hover
00:43:25.000
oh that's true yeah so they have to do like essentially like a squat yeah they have to do a
00:43:30.680
squat the entire time yep and red uh t8 or the red hill libertarians there's no metal bars to help
00:43:36.960
yeah and also and also make the you know how like sometimes like the right up like toilets are usually
00:43:41.380
right up against the wall to the back make it like somehow push the toilet like totally in the middle
00:43:46.360
of the thing so they just get in there and they can't lean up against anything like sit in the middle
00:43:51.160
it's just the toilet in the middle of a room and then have you know all mirrors around you know
00:43:56.200
how most work centers usually like contract like a cleaning crew or some shit you tell the cleaning
00:44:00.760
crew this bathroom only hit it every other time like you come in here that way it's like you you if
00:44:08.120
you fuck up and you fucking shit in the toilet yeah you can fucking deal with that that's your problem
00:44:12.280
even even better just tell them to uh whenever you empty the trash empty it into that bathroom just like
00:44:17.960
it's like if you break your arm at least you'll go to fucking therapy and physical therapy and
00:44:32.840
have to lose some weight doing that all right well what's the next i love i love the thought of a
00:44:37.640
fat bathroom i think i think that might have been it i don't know was that it that they're great
00:44:41.240
you got another one a little dicky or no anything good i think that was the last one okay i think he
00:44:46.520
also the only other thing is he mentioned the dude wipes and i will say if you use uh flushable
00:44:50.920
wipes one as an engineer they're not flushable uh don't they are they literally go down yeah yeah
00:44:56.200
i don't give a shit call yeah if it's not my house i would go fuck dude i have some fucking dude yeah
00:45:02.280
it'll just back up in your house after well i guess it would take like 20 years but what do you use
00:45:07.000
if you're at work no i i use i wish i used a bidet no uh unfortunately i live on septic and my
00:45:14.760
septic is super old so i have to use scott's i have to use scott's no no that's the i have to use
00:45:19.720
like one ply dude it's it's like sandpaper shaping your ass you have a septic tank and
00:45:26.440
because of that you only use one ply does the septic tank like come as a preferred yeah it's extremely
00:45:33.400
like it's is from like the 80s or 70s and so it's a it's all i've seen it because i had to clean it
00:45:38.760
out well not me but i didn't get paid to clean it out so it's one of those concrete boxes uh it's
00:45:45.240
before like they changed it out and so like and i think half of the baffle is gone in between as well
00:45:50.360
and also the feed lines are clogged up and so it doesn't drain very well so if i have any like
00:45:56.040
regular like fucking two ply in there it doesn't dissolve so i have to use like no one ply or it'll
00:46:02.920
clog up the system it fucking sucks it really like i have to i i fucking i still have to stack
00:46:09.240
it up and uh and i also am a um a standing wiper i don't know if anybody else is no oh we haven't
00:46:15.320
addressed this question yeah what is wrong with you what the we've not addressed this i don't so so i
00:46:20.440
don't i don't like i i don't like i had to stand up your ass cheeks are going to come down
00:46:24.440
no they don't you stand up and bend over spread your ass cheeks as you stand up i just i just stand
00:46:31.400
up no and then i reach over and i just fucking like it's that is no you can't why i you're so
00:46:38.120
because i i don't like the thought of going in did your dad leave you as a child wait let him explain
00:46:44.920
let him explain real quick only way i can understand this because like i feel like that's how a child wipes
00:46:49.560
their ass you know like like i feel like a little boy would be like that like that's how they'd wipe
00:46:54.280
their ass but like haha i did it like they just don't understand like
00:46:57.480
she does complain about my ass smelling yeah i bet you need to shave it too i i wipe and there is
00:47:06.760
nothing on there like but it's not like it's yeah because you stood up your ass cheeks came together
00:47:11.400
and it's all over the outer side there was no like you get the asshole you're like i'm good
00:47:15.560
where whereas it's like no on the outer rim it's all i don't have i don't have
00:47:19.880
shit on my ass cheeks like i'm like look no i like lipstick man and i wash my ass i wash my ass
00:47:28.120
every fucking day swear to god yeah once a day in the shower yeah in the shower for sure yeah i
00:47:33.560
understand the coal like he doesn't like the sensation of like almost like penetrating your own
00:47:38.120
asshole but no that's not what it is no no no it's that's what i'm saying let him explain dude i don't
00:47:43.800
i get like in the butthole and i like yeah you got a wife you got a wife i just don't like so
00:47:49.400
like i'll i don't like the thought of touching any part of the toilet with my arm or hand and so and
00:47:56.120
i'll and so like i'll instead thing i understand but that's still there's still like only a certain
00:48:01.160
amount of room i mean i so like usually what i'll do is i'll
00:48:04.120
cold is the guy i'd rather just so i literally just stand up and i just like i'm not like i'm not
00:48:16.040
doing it like a deadlift where i come up and like i'm like pushing forwards my ass cheeks are really
00:48:20.440
fucking tight like i still that's it that'd be really funny but i mean wow i thought there were
00:48:27.400
more stay i thought there was at least one stench like i did a standing wipe i did it uh two days
00:48:32.840
ago but uh it was for a different reason so i had took a shit i wiped got up walked away and
00:48:38.920
i was about to drive and i was thinking i was like oh man i didn't finish so then i went back to the
00:48:43.480
bathroom and then i took some more toilet paper and i did a standing wipe and then i threw it in
00:48:47.960
there but i would never do that every time that was only because i had like some it's not like i'm
00:48:53.720
fully standing i'm not fully standing up i'm still bent over i'm just there is no contact
00:48:59.560
between make it any better and there's like no good bit of like there's some room between me and
00:49:04.440
the toilet i'm no longer around the toilet in the just like it's wasted motion it's wasted
00:49:10.840
you're wasting energy you know what's insane we have 44 live viewers to listen or listen to us
00:49:17.320
everybody listening to this is not allowed to buy a gun
00:49:25.640
oh yeah i mean jose's point are originally is correct though when you stand your ass cheeks
00:49:31.800
clench and then you're they don't clench yeah you're clenching the shit in there
00:49:38.760
and if anything i spread my asshole more when i like my ass cheeks more when i go to wipe like
00:49:43.960
like the best wipe the best wipe is to wet your hand and fucking use your finger to wipe the
00:49:51.720
shit out of like i mean if you want to talk about getting the cleanest that would be the cleanest
00:49:56.040
well the cleanest would be like a midday or you literally use like a middle shower get up in the
00:50:01.240
ass yeah you get in there yeah you like i mean not like deep like kind of like the marine blowing
00:50:06.040
it's kind of like fingered like the little bit you know like that also there was another question that
00:50:10.200
did come up on ymh and i think it did go out kind of on twitter and stuff as well do you use a wash
00:50:15.640
cloth when you uh when you shower oh when you shower when you shower what the fuck what kind of
00:50:22.200
weird like there was a phase no i do you think it's weird to not use one or to use one to use one
00:50:30.040
i was using a loofah i was using a loofah for a little while because i thought it was like something
00:50:35.160
to do and then i can't listen to you there's literally a term called puerto rican showers so
00:50:41.080
wait wait what is that you never heard puerto rican showers it's a term where you literally just
00:50:45.000
like probably with a washcloth or water like instead of actually showering you just like
00:50:49.960
wipe up your face and like neck kind of area oh i thought that was the sludge shower the horse
00:50:53.880
shower i mean there's multiple terms where you just you just like it's just like
00:50:58.120
water and water and just uh pits and uh and vag really it's a regional thing whatever whatever
00:51:05.160
minority you hate the most in that area is what it's called that shower yeah yeah okay so wait
00:51:09.480
wait y'all are all against washcloths because i yeah i use a bar so like a man like just a bar of
00:51:15.560
soap against your sometimes i do what junkie jeff is saying sometimes i have like a soap on a rope from
00:51:22.200
duke cannon sometimes i use that i take the washcloth and then i rub the soap on it then i
00:51:28.360
wash my body and then i wash out the the washcloth and then i i squeeze out the washcloth and then i
00:51:35.400
hang it i just i hear that and i just feel like this is what they do in like hospice care when they're
00:51:40.200
cleaning yeah like like i like i guess that probably is slightly better because you're getting a slightly
00:51:45.640
exfoliating experience as you're doing it as well so it's probably actually ideal it's probably
00:51:50.360
preferable but just something about just weird to do this is how i know i just know i get body
00:51:56.840
wash i just rub all over and then i feel like i don't get as as sudsy with just rubbing with my
00:52:02.280
hands i've tried it before i don't i like the sudsy i like the sudsy that's why you gotta get so
00:52:09.160
no i'm serious that's that's why you gotta get soap on a rope because that uh that is that is
00:52:13.880
a good compromise but what ymh was saying is that only poor and black people use washcloths
00:52:20.360
and that's and so i agree and jose has a point with the hospice care thing because uh that's how
00:52:25.720
the nurses uh watched me when i when they like overfed me with laxative or whatever and i shat
00:52:30.840
myself when i was in the hospital for a stroke yeah it nor is it cold to poor ourselves that it's true
00:52:36.920
i grew up middle class but it was always now for a while there like and i'll i'll mention i'll who is
00:52:42.840
who who is who is like like budgeting how much soap they buy hell yeah what is wrong with you
00:52:50.920
people it does save a ton on so potty wash costs like five bucks is there some inflation going on
00:52:56.520
there i don't even know i use i use expensive soap man i use soap i use uh dr bronner's if anybody
00:53:01.800
look it up it's good that is pretty good yeah yeah i use dr squatch dr squatch squatch is really
00:53:06.520
good too yeah yeah it has that exfoliating in it you don't have to have a dirty loop yeah oh yeah
00:53:11.720
it's got i think they see loofas are way worse than washcloths because they they're all they trap
00:53:17.000
it in there but i think washcloths i agree and i and i make sure now i do if i do what color is your
00:53:22.200
washcloth white what color is it now though it's different because elizabeth uses them for uh taking
00:53:31.720
off her makeup which now that i'm thinking about it would be really the same one yeah sometimes all
00:53:37.880
right hey i got i got a question for the group uh what our buddy we have a buddy uh a lot of us
00:53:46.440
probably are mutuals with ben arkis he he put out a tweet and he made the retarded uh you know mistake
00:53:52.360
of asking women's opinion and he asked them like their thought on how long you should wait to contact
00:53:59.320
a woman after they give you their number what are what are your thoughts i'm curious i know mine
00:54:03.960
three days that's fucking retarded dude immediately immediately are you for real right now this isn't
00:54:09.240
the fucking 90s where you have to be oh i'm worried about no just be like they they send you you give
00:54:14.040
you all right i want to i want to make a differentiation here there's okay if you're just trying to get laid
00:54:18.840
like if you're trying to fuck like it depends on the broad if it's like just some chick you know it's
00:54:23.800
like pretty much a sure thing yeah immediately who gives a fuck i mean if it's some chick that you're
00:54:27.480
like all right this is gonna be a little bit like i gotta put in some work for this you probably gotta
00:54:31.160
wait like i don't at least like four to eight hours now if you're trying to know but i'm talking
00:54:36.760
about if you're trying to actually like someone you're interested in like in a relationship sense
00:54:40.680
how long should you wait oh i just text immediately are you for real i said i said three three days
00:54:47.080
because you don't want to if they give it to you yeah and they're expecting you to text them or call
00:54:53.400
them that's the point that's the point dude you gotta wait i don't hey what mind games is it are
00:54:57.960
they going like oh they're not interested in me that makes me yes yes i text immediately and i
00:55:04.200
don't stop it i just keep texting all day long for three days however i just keep texting just
00:55:10.120
whatever comes in my brain i would say you gotta wait a day no more no less
00:55:16.040
yes a day no fucking way you gotta wait a day this is the move right here here's what i'll say
00:55:23.400
jose here's why you're wrong women have way more options in the fucking sphere of dating than men do
00:55:29.800
and so if you're waiting a day she already has five dudes lined up that are already they can sense
00:55:35.320
the desperation jose every other guy's doing your gay ass move where they fucking hit him up immediately
00:55:40.360
yeah if they're giving it out like well one if they're just giving out their number willingly to
00:55:44.120
the fucking eight fucking guy she's a fucking whore you don't want her anyway i i do gotta say uh
00:55:48.360
and if she does give you your number and she's a good woman she wants you to text her immediately
00:55:51.160
because she wants to talk no okay yes she may want you to over some the problem is women don't
00:55:56.280
know what they fucking want and so they will like subconsciously be like this dude's desperate they
00:56:01.480
won't realize this like because they play these mind games don't even realize they play them
00:56:05.640
because they're just weird creatures like that but she actually brought up a good point i actually
00:56:10.440
think that's genius i never thought that you hit him up immediately
00:56:12.760
just ignore them for like two to three days and then hit him up yes i love it i love that
00:56:18.440
yeah that's genius i mean two to three days i would say one to two days after you hit her up
00:56:25.000
after you hit her up initially just to like you know touch touch base like hey just want to make
00:56:28.920
sure you got the right number i'm down to you say i love you within the first eight days
00:56:35.080
i say it in the first you just you just honestly you should be like you say hey is this uh
00:56:40.040
whoever britney or whatever and they go yeah this is me it was good talking to you i love you
00:56:43.720
it doesn't mean it's just me like i'm so put down here i'm ready to have babies
00:56:52.200
i don't know ironically i actually think i probably did tell my wife i loved her in the
00:56:55.080
first week but ours is i did too well yeah what yeah i think i did too
00:56:59.720
with you i still haven't told my wife or my kids a ton of broads but my wife like it was like
00:57:07.320
boom and then like we got married really quickly and then just i i got i got i i met elizabeth off
00:57:13.080
snapchat so yeah me and my wife met off okay cupid are you serious yeah old school fucking dating thing
00:57:20.440
which is like okay cupid wasn't quite like a tinder it was like in between like tinder and
00:57:25.160
like uh what's the super one people the match.com something like that like in between that i was
00:57:31.320
thinking something else but it's like it's like you know you know how the sites are like actually
00:57:34.680
for dating and the other sites were hooking up it was like kind of a hybrid where it's like people
00:57:37.880
went there for dating and hooking up yeah yeah and then i fucked her the second time i met her
00:57:43.000
yeah i don't even use my snapchat anymore that's another thing how long do you wait to
00:57:47.080
fuck uh like a girl you're actually genuinely interested and you want to be with like in a
00:57:53.400
relationship not just the my i mean i guess experience mine was the second time i met her
00:57:59.960
yeah same here you gotta and i and i went and i went to meet her to fuck her that's it can't be
00:58:04.760
the first date it can't it can't be the first third date man if you if you fuck on the first day i
00:58:10.440
feel like that's as soon as possible i mean i i mean if you're just you're number one to fuck like if i
00:58:19.000
fuck a chick on the first night that's me like i immediately i'm like okay well then like this is
00:58:23.960
not like relationship material even if i was interested because i'm like you gave it up on
00:58:27.640
the first night i gotta at least wait uh at least one night um you guys you're supposed to wait until
00:58:32.920
marriage that's the answer that's you know what toad you're right you're correct i know there's like
00:58:37.880
people say that but i cannot imagine anything worse than that
00:58:40.520
i will look at me i think my sister did uh can you imagine like oh yeah
00:58:47.000
like just like that like you don't know what you're getting like i got i'm sorry i need to
00:58:50.920
know if this is a good fuck don't you guys don't ask her or or wait for her you just take what you
00:58:58.280
want as a man what if you what if you do wait for marriage toad and then it turns out that the girl
00:59:04.840
has like a three inch clit or she's got like a very like a very shallow pussy sex isn't as good as
00:59:10.120
people say it is top top here's the answer to that uh you you're allowed to see her naked before
00:59:17.080
that you get you gotta you gotta check out uh you know you gotta check out the goods uh before you
00:59:22.920
actually i love i love if i like send me nudes but i'm not gonna fuck you bitch yes i'm gonna see
00:59:30.200
you naked to rate you if i want to marry you like what if she's what if she's got like some like major
00:59:35.400
issues down there and like like just she's like holding it tight to her chest until finally she's like
00:59:39.720
like i married him i think i think with my wife we didn't fuck like the third or fourth date or
00:59:45.720
night but we like the second night we slept together but we didn't fuck so like we just
00:59:51.000
kind of cuddled it was kind of cute that's sex is that how you knew you loved her because you're like
01:00:04.120
hey man i my wife was i mean elizabeth was very like wondering how why guys don't wipe their
01:00:10.600
penis after they piss because you imagine if you let a dude put your put her his dick in you and
01:00:15.320
then you find out he stands up and wipes his ass wait my ass is clean i swear to god i it's just it
01:00:21.240
gets stinky from fucking working out like he's like fuck i've already gone too far there's no turning
01:00:26.280
back now wait wait you guys wipe your dick after you piss no no no elizabeth was very surprised that
01:00:33.480
men don't wipe their dick i used to there's no point no shake it out i was getting blowies like very
01:00:40.520
regularly don't lie no no elizabeth said i never yes you fucking did say that you were like yes you
01:00:46.280
did and if i ever piss in front of her she is intently watching like pissing in front of her
01:00:55.560
do you ever take a bath with with her and you piss in the bath while she's
01:01:01.240
the thing like every other man does where the you know because the dick floats and so it's sticking
01:01:05.640
out of the water like i think they talked about this on uh matt and shane's secret podcast
01:01:09.320
like your dick automatically when you're in the bath it just kind of it does flow
01:01:12.680
so it's like the ted is sticking out then you piss and so it's just like shooting like on you yeah
01:01:18.600
what are you talking about it's like a it's like a snorkel it's like my yeah yeah i breathe through
01:01:23.080
the day the other the other day my my shower was clogged and uh i was taking a shower and i guess my
01:01:28.680
wife was gonna hop in with me right after but i pissed that's the best i pissed in the shower but it
01:01:33.240
it wasn't going down so now it's just like water and this is like it's like like light yellow water
01:01:39.240
and she steps in and she looks down and she goes did you piss in here and i'm like
01:01:43.720
like you just lie i wouldn't lie nope it came from came from the shower head i don't know bro i've i've
01:01:50.600
i've come i've came in like uh standing water in the shower that's not good i don't know honey i
01:02:01.560
gotta go recharge the fucking filtration system or something's off you know
01:02:08.360
oh my god disgusting wait wait cool you don't uh just act like a real man just piss with the door
01:02:15.160
wide open no no i do but what i'm saying is i like if she's taking a bath like i'll piss and then
01:02:20.600
why does she watch you though i don't understand she's very she's fascinating with the with seeing
01:02:25.160
like the pee coming out of the pain yeah my wife too but is she is she watching you like like making
01:02:30.200
sure you're doing it right or something she's just no i think i think there's just yeah just straight
01:02:33.880
curiosity yeah my wife yeah have you guys ever caught your wives pooping caught them like like
01:02:42.200
or been aware or been aware of when they've pooped because i knew you did
01:02:52.600
11 years and like nothing like my wife's always been so weird about that it's almost like she's like
01:02:57.640
intent on like you will never know anything about me like it's so weird that's weird
01:03:02.600
yeah it's weird i'm always like why i don't know i guess it just got driven into her head as a kid
01:03:08.120
it's like ladies do not poop and i'm like okay that's what i've been told actually third or fourth
01:03:13.160
date uh dating my wife i she had me running red lights because we had some milkshakes at burger king
01:03:18.440
and i had to like literally like just like speed drive her home because she had to take a
01:03:21.960
shit so i was like all right we're gonna get married that was fun she i thought she likes to watch
01:03:26.840
it come i'm telling you she's just fascinated by it i mean anytime but like if she takes it's like
01:03:35.400
she could be just washing in a bath and i come in there piss she's like ladies type little type
01:03:40.520
little hole in the chat if you'd like to see your man pissed i've totally told the story on here before
01:03:45.640
about how like my my oldest daughter had a weird period of time where she was really like had issues
01:03:50.680
pooping where and i genuinely think it was from my wife it was like she got influence from my wife
01:03:56.120
being weird about pooping to where like she thought like in her head like girls don't poop and i'm
01:04:01.000
like just fucking poop it's like you got a point where like she'd poop like once a week or every other
01:04:07.320
week and they'd be just massive fucking shits and they'd be like she'd be screaming and crying we'd
01:04:11.560
have to give her like enemas and shit and you're like oh my god i don't want to have to be putting
01:04:15.160
shit in your butthole just poop i'm telling i'm telling you like i'll watch i'll she'll poop with the
01:04:20.600
like she'll fucking diarrhea with the door open i'll come by like you you good you okay and
01:04:25.960
i'm talking it smells man it's bad i'm just like whatever dude i'm like whatever like i can't
01:04:31.800
like she's a human everybody's shit well i mean i don't care that's the weirdest thing i'm like
01:04:37.400
i couldn't give a fuck you could shit like in the same in the bathroom while i'm there i don't
01:04:41.000
give a fuck like but she's just always been a new woman i've never seen kimmy she likes to watch
01:04:47.400
pretty cool it's weird they're fascinated by men pissing i 100 believe that all women like because
01:04:55.400
it's just but at the same time i'm kind of like it's kind of i don't know if i'm fascinated by it
01:05:00.520
but it's kind of weird how women piss like it yeah i don't even know where it comes from yeah i mean
01:05:04.920
suppose there's two different holes but i don't know it's all just a hole to me yeah i've never seen
01:05:09.080
the other hole and also the other thing is like have you ever tried to see them do it whenever they're
01:05:13.000
standing up without a toilet yes that is a very weird thing i mean woman woman also pissed very
01:05:20.840
hard i don't know oh dude i did i had this one experience where i was just coming home from work
01:05:25.880
and i was pulling around in the parking garage and there's this group of drunk people they were
01:05:30.120
pre-gaming i guess probably going to like a red sox game or something i pull around the corner and
01:05:34.280
this chick thinks she's behind a vehicle but from my point of view she's right in front of the vehicle
01:05:38.920
she's taking this huge piss in the middle of the parking garage it looked like a fucking fire hose
01:05:43.960
dude i was well i guess what was that video of the uh the punk rocker that was pissing on that dude's
01:05:49.880
face it was uh yeah punk but it was uh it was brass against the machine yeah the machine is that really
01:05:56.760
what's called yeah they're a band that does uh brass covers of metal and rock brass against they have
01:06:05.080
a female singer did you watch did you watch your wife give birth from the uh from below the border
01:06:10.200
jose twice i did yeah i mean yeah i did too yeah i did it did not but i think anybody man that goes
01:06:15.400
like oh is a fucking pussy yeah no it was crazy to see though oh yeah you guys you guys fuck on a
01:06:21.320
period yeah give a shit yeah i don't give a fuck i mean it depends like i think women care way more
01:06:27.320
about that than men yes uh my wife's in a different room on her period i don't touch her i i follow the
01:06:33.240
uh the the way we can wear a blanket over her head all day i lay a towel down i don't give a
01:06:40.440
fuck i mean for me like we use the like i've we've never done birth control because it's i mean we have
01:06:45.400
tribe it's a nightmare it turns into a hormonal cunt but um yeah no like that's for me i'm like hell
01:06:51.320
yeah that's like just pump and dump like when you're in a period like there's no risk of getting pregnant
01:06:55.320
but yeah when you're on peak flow that is like the blood is like the worst lubricant it like just
01:07:00.360
throws it off but like whatever i don't give a shit like i'll rock i never give a shit i was always
01:07:05.240
just like can't get in my in my head i was like oh you can't get pregnant during periods or whatever
01:07:10.280
and then i found out later you can 100 get pregnant
01:07:14.200
no you can't i've been pumping and dumping in periods for fucking 11 years
01:07:18.840
because uh i think we had a scare one time it was like you technically can but it's like all it's in
01:07:24.440
the same it's in the same realm of like you technically can while like from pre-com and
01:07:29.000
shit it's like it's like super unlikely it's the same idea of where they say like oh condoms are 99
01:07:34.120
effective it's like okay let's be real ain't no shit getting through this like come on like yet
01:07:39.000
theoretically there could be some magic sperm that fucking hangs on during the fucking period and
01:07:44.520
somehow when she ovulates is still there and it's like oh i fucking lived and now i fucking made
01:07:48.840
it's not very likely look it's man it's basically it's basically the same odds as
01:07:53.560
covet killing you so like i don't know i'll take the fucking risk yeah exactly it's it's not happening
01:07:58.120
i'm not taking any risk man you gotta have that chicken washer sperm i feel like the people that
01:08:03.080
don't want to have babies the most or at least the ones that kill their babies the most have like
01:08:06.920
the strongest sperm there must be something about that god's little trick that's a lot of fun
01:08:12.040
there lane said they watch them cut i mean yep that's that's i feel bad when you're gonna have
01:08:17.720
to go through childbirth oh it's called the peasy otomy is what that's called jesus
01:08:22.920
yeah yeah yeah yeah and then they stitch it back up after and that's where you get
01:08:26.840
that's it yeah oh yeah the rod paul stitch yeah i i i think elizabeth tore but it wasn't that too bad
01:08:36.520
where they needed to i guess she did but the the uh i think i said this that the lady that we had a lady uh
01:08:41.640
doctor so i don't think i got the husband stitch on that one i don't know i've never noticed a
01:08:46.600
difference between before and after but uh i also think i'm just not that observant so i don't know
01:08:52.200
it was actually really funny because um legionist kanks talked about like after like birth vaginas
01:08:58.040
and they were like talking about how it's so loose it was like is it loose i feel really bad i was like
01:09:03.640
it's really happy to be there yeah i don't know like i don't like maybe it is but i like i'm so
01:09:09.560
unobservant and like for me i'm like okay cool i can last longer whatever this is more fun i don't
01:09:13.720
know you ever been down here bitch i can last so long you ever been with a really tight chick and
01:09:21.080
you come really quick i guess this only applies to top because you've been with like one other chick
01:09:24.520
cole but uh yeah i love it like really like i don't know maybe i just don't last very well but
01:09:29.400
it's like i'm gonna come quick as fuck if it's like too damn tight so like i don't i don't want to
01:09:33.080
like loose loose because i've been with chicks that are like okay what's going on here but like
01:09:39.320
like i don't know i don't want to be like like people always going about oh yeah it's so tight
01:09:43.160
like i don't know i don't want to be like fucking like immediately had a mirror and she was watching
01:09:48.200
her give birth i i mean that's insane that she she should not own a gun yeah i i saw the placenta
01:09:55.480
i saw the placenta sitting on the table and i was thinking i was like i wonder if it's gonna eat it
01:09:59.640
because i've heard it i feel like there's there's something sad about watching that i feel like
01:10:04.920
that means the dad wasn't there and so you just like felt like you had to have that moment like
01:10:08.680
because i feel like it's a dad moment you said someone watched that like use the mirror to watch
01:10:12.280
it come out oh yeah spud said she watched she used the mirror okay she she had the dad there i feel
01:10:17.240
like that's like a fatherless woman uh thing you know i was gonna say that's what you get for
01:10:21.560
for marrying a black dude what what would be the least unlikely to marry a black dude yeah
01:10:30.360
well there are no yeah there are no black dudes or she is
01:10:33.960
the women are most unabashed about being racist and it's beautiful
01:10:37.400
it's crazy dude like i was just saying honestly it's a very weird like
01:10:42.120
that because i guess even on the other side like the white women that are really like oh you're
01:10:46.360
fucking being racist they're also incredibly racist themselves but they're just like it's just
01:10:50.280
like a natural thing that comes through i have to be my wife like because i joke about it my wife's
01:10:54.680
about it i'd be like you need to cool it yeah i see elizabeth has said some things i'm like
01:11:00.680
when i say it i'm joking she was like i'm not joking i want to kill
01:11:04.200
i gotta join you guys and get myself a racist wife who's more racist you need to join us and get
01:11:15.480
join us and just get a hand job or something man waiting until the moment is right
01:11:25.480
guys do we have any videos or anything pulled up today i feel like we have we have the joe biden
01:11:29.400
video and if you guys want to talk about me i i guess i had uh like total breakdown or something
01:11:35.240
i don't even yeah i did want to mention this uh yeah let's talk about that um so so anybody that
01:11:40.840
doesn't know uh toad is fucking crazy i don't i don't think so yeah you don't think so you're the
01:11:48.920
crazy one uh no you're all crazy yeah no schizo person i can see beyond the matrix
01:11:57.000
no schizo person has ever been like yeah i think i'm the the crazy one here
01:12:00.840
no uh but like i would still let toad have guns before before a tranny but yeah toad was on some
01:12:10.200
sort of sleep deprivation slash uh binge of coffee and caffeine and gambling and he comes to the chat
01:12:20.280
my gambling was going okay during that stretch i think this was ruining your life stop trying to
01:12:24.440
cope let's go move on no no let's move on keep going jose said it was on uh monday but i think
01:12:30.280
it really started on sunday it was either monday or yesterday um but he started to send cryptic
01:12:38.200
messages and i think it started off with just he just said like i'm on eight hours of sleep in 64
01:12:43.400
hours i'm running off caffeine like sounded like that and he just started going through like and he
01:12:48.760
would start sending messages dude he made me go schizo to him like i was like i'm like is toad a
01:12:54.600
fed is this um dude i don't even know what i said to be honest a good amount of us thought that toad had
01:13:01.000
gotten the the call the activation call that someone had called him and said like blue foxtrot uh red
01:13:07.880
when the purple yeah i'm american i'm ready to fucking like like something like that because he
01:13:13.880
that one of the ones i have i kind of want to have some here uh the faint voices in my left ear as
01:13:20.200
i was in a state of slumber guide me there's no there's no it's this 12 30 pm uh as they cut
01:13:29.000
through the static and sound of distant music i was able to discern what i was being told what is my
01:13:34.760
purpose uh do you see the one we shared with the crossword of that one chick that one was actually
01:13:42.040
kind of funny because then i looked at the tweet and i'm like and i'm like no these are great
01:13:46.520
these are great tweets this is not good to like send to your homies in a private group chat
01:13:52.120
dude i have like no recollection the best one he was just like uh i think maybe you can find it top
01:13:57.480
but he was like i hear static on the other side of my wall and i'm like and it's speaking to me or
01:14:05.480
here's one trained as rats we may lead ourselves ourselves in the opposite way of what we intend
01:14:16.360
no refuge does exist from the harsh cold the deluge from above precipitation no perhaps it is that we
01:14:23.560
are literal peons i'm like he's really good we we we tested off the old behind toad's toad's back
01:14:33.000
chat and we're like he might do it this time he might actually end it wait that nobody it's not
01:14:38.120
because he's sad it's because he's insane like he's he's just sleep deprived used condoms are part
01:14:44.040
of the infrastructure of america toad these are tweets these are great tweets but they're awful
01:14:49.240
things to say to your homeboys he literally said i have been activated dormant for so long a weapon of
01:14:54.840
unfathomable power that was like oh my god toad's a fed he's taking down the whole gang we're
01:15:00.920
oh here's this is the one you're talking about he says uh this is at one in the morning i'm not
01:15:06.360
even where i'm supposed to be what is this why is this empty there's radio static on the other side of
01:15:13.800
this wall that i caught and i was like radio second and he kept talking about how he was hearing either
01:15:20.760
voices or i'm hallucinating but my ice maker is also haunted here's the one that i like he put
01:15:28.520
he sent this like tweet of this woman who who said open for suggestions and it was an empty crossword
01:15:33.960
and he said this woman demands the answers be handed to her this is not the way and like
01:15:40.040
i looked at the tweet and it was like some random broad like literally like imploring people to do her
01:15:45.800
crossword for her i'm like who the fuck tweets this shit so i was kind of like all right why
01:15:51.320
didn't you tweet this instead you choose to tweet like autistic retarded bullshit these are the things
01:15:56.280
that i want to see online here look whatever toad toad is on no pussy if you want to he goes
01:16:02.360
are gonna smoke it permanently defile a stench of the underground we must walk to the local meat
01:16:07.880
shop to catch a whiff of anything pleasant could smoke a temporary reprieve from bad smoke
01:16:14.040
i was just like i was so fucking confused and concerned and i was just like i was like
01:16:19.080
so close just booting it out i won't distance myself away from him as much as possible
01:16:24.520
and enter a realm beyond the metaphysical and view the physical from the outside you will see
01:16:30.520
visions voices provide clarity like life is a series of attempts to be the least broken version
01:16:39.560
i'm kind of sad that like toad slept before he came on the show because this would have been so
01:16:43.240
much more fun if this toad would have showed up i finally slept last night i i completely like shut
01:16:49.000
down basically but i think i was did you guys do the rats one trained his rats we may lead ourselves in
01:16:54.040
the opposite way of what we intend that's what you don't understand we are all broken one must arrive
01:16:59.160
at that realization but it's so funny he said literally right before this at set at eight
01:17:04.040
o'clock in the morning witnessing mass insanity disguised as normalcy perhaps it is i who is at
01:17:09.400
least insane hold on you might be onto something here is toad is toad plagiarizing
01:17:15.480
car leading us voluntary to the gas chambers they all delude themselves in believing another reality
01:17:20.680
we do not physically die but we are all actually live are we actually living at all this is like legit
01:17:26.840
shit of like people like we joked about like intrusive thoughts and like breaking the matrix
01:17:31.320
at one point before and this is stuff we're like oh shit like i think he's above the matrix where he's
01:17:36.520
like i see it all i see the pattern of the universe this is all just bullshit this is all simulation who
01:17:41.800
gives a fuck like i unironically i unironically want you on my show talking like this this is what my
01:17:49.240
new show is about lorenzo said jose these are two oh they said these are toad lyrics
01:17:54.680
i'll turn them into lyrics i write like four different band lyrics already like the tension
01:18:03.000
is palpable among them amongst the masses you since the half are on the verge of snapping
01:18:10.360
you ever put your toothbrush on deep clean mode and use it to massage your face the menthol like sting of
01:18:15.800
the toothpaste on your skin is sublime it's like a scandinavian woman breathing arctic air on you
01:18:20.360
it tingles amazingly i recall watching the flems from on high as they wallow in steerage and wish to
01:18:27.080
rejoin the royals and don their purplish hue once again
01:18:33.960
alas it is still all faults however the boot is indeed too at their throats
01:18:38.520
well yeah that's that's my body temporarily delivered unto itself a state of respite i believe
01:18:46.440
a power hour perhaps it's so weird because like i'm actually looking at now and like he was we were
01:18:52.840
actually having a coherent discussion about like kind of plans for the show at like 12 41 in the
01:18:58.360
like like in the middle of night kind of deal and then all of a sudden right at like one in the
01:19:04.120
morning that's when he said i'm hallucinating but my ice maker is also haunted and it was
01:19:08.920
all downhill from there and it was like it was where i'm supposed to be what is this why is this
01:19:13.320
empty but this is the one that really got me because this is kind of like a like he was in his
01:19:18.840
just in his house and then he goes i'm not even where i'm supposed to be what is this why is this
01:19:24.120
empty where were you i have no idea he had to be in his house because he was talking about that was
01:19:30.200
right after the ice maker thing so he was in his house and he comes to realization i'm single and
01:19:34.680
i'm 35 and i mean why is my house empty oh no oh i'm i'm 38 on sunday whatever you need to discard
01:19:43.640
that house and move to florida bro we were all these weird ass shit so after that we were all like
01:19:49.960
toad is like talking about how he's like yeah we all immediately at that point we're like behind
01:19:54.520
toad's chat group chat also we were just like toad go to sleep and he was like i gotta go to work we're
01:19:59.960
like i was thinking like toad you probably have never taken off in your life you're just that
01:20:04.120
person that just never takes pto you probably have like 800 hours of pto and he's just like nope not
01:20:09.000
gonna i take some but not a lot yeah i was like like you probably have like 400 hours just take
01:20:13.960
some pto and sleep dude just get some rest like did you ever did you find the sleep i just i did want
01:20:19.880
to get to the bottom of this of what happened because i completely crashed so i can tell you that some
01:20:23.480
of that stuff was like a commentary on like i don't know like the universe and life
01:20:30.600
it seemed like it was about just like i don't know the daily grind and about i don't know how
01:20:35.640
people that like are i don't know in first class or whatever like i don't know think
01:20:41.320
that they're above this but they're still like i don't know part of the the proletariat essentially and
01:20:48.520
being being stepped on by by the tyrants that's how i take that yeah it's funny because they are
01:20:56.440
all actually like kind of deep thoughts in a way but just so bizarre in that context locked like you
01:21:03.560
know how they say like uh there's like a dmt automatically made in your brain it's just like
01:21:08.040
when you take it it's just like he unlocked it like a natural form of dmt that just ramped up because
01:21:13.640
he just couldn't sleep forever in his house floating with his eyes rolled behind his head
01:21:18.600
well the other thing i will say is that i i do have uh i have auditory hallucinations so like
01:21:24.760
some of that was in there i'm pretty sure like like when i like that mean like you're just all of a
01:21:31.560
sudden just like i don't know like on my left side i'll just like start hearing like random
01:21:37.240
shit kill them yeah no like you don't need them they don't hate you like i don't know what it is
01:21:46.200
i don't know what it is but it's like like no like through through the wall like in my bedroom it
01:21:53.400
almost sounds like there's like a and i don't even think there are neighbors on that side of that wall
01:22:00.200
it sounds like there's like a like a radio like embedded in the wall
01:22:07.000
and it's but it's like it's far away so it's like it's the static like it's not tuned to an
01:22:11.400
actual channel but it's close to some channel so you can hear like almost like this like music but
01:22:16.120
you can't identify what it is and you can hear like voices so it's like almost like you're between
01:22:21.800
and like two other channels yeah i've never been more convinced that you should really move
01:22:35.160
honestly if you move this like it might really make a huge difference in your life
01:22:39.240
the the your neighbors next door cia they work for there are no neighbors next door he lives in a padded
01:22:44.440
cell he never leaves that room that you see him in that's true he actually doesn't work he doesn't
01:22:52.120
go to like they just think it's like uh it's like the movie uh shutter island so they just make him
01:22:57.320
think he actually goes as a as a as a like engine as a fucking software engineer he's yelling i'm in
01:23:02.680
tower gang mother feel like yeah yeah you're in tower gang toad come on let's go take our pills
01:23:07.800
this isn't even real no it's not so this is all a figment of your imagination all of us
01:23:12.920
this is for real though get the fuck out of that hole hole you live in this this kind of
01:23:18.040
shit makes me believe the kind of woo-woo shit people talk about where they're like oh yeah
01:23:22.440
these these certain places it like gets negative energy yeah the cities are those places and you're
01:23:27.560
being haunted literally i will say i was the only one i was the only one of the chat going toad
01:23:32.840
go harder man don't it's actually a good question have you toad uh any antique objects i don't think so
01:23:40.920
those uh those weights counts as antiques i've got so much dust on them
01:23:45.240
i i do actually use those as much as you think i don't wait it's odd that they left me those
01:23:50.360
in the back you fucking faggot yeah i have i have funko pops they're uh ron swanson yeah you
01:23:56.200
fucking faggot yeah they're still in the box too that's what i know uh there's there's a rick
01:24:02.520
sanchez and i forget what else i have over there uh i don't remember i it it was it was one of the
01:24:09.400
most surreal things of just seeing oh ash from evil dad is over there it was just very surreal
01:24:17.480
it's it was one of the weirdest things like and we couldn't like we didn't know how to deal with
01:24:22.840
it besides just saying go to bed like go to sleep because he like the we knew was i had to threaten him
01:24:27.720
to stop i was like i will kick you out of the chat like i will block you fucking kick you i was dead
01:24:32.520
serious if he kept it up i was gonna because it's like for one it's like i don't know what
01:24:35.880
is going on here if he's a school shooting like i don't know like i'm like i do not want to get
01:24:40.840
indicted and have to go to fucking yeah i want to be like clear like look right here i was like cut
01:24:45.640
the shit out motherfucker you know you notice how the school shooting was a day later though
01:24:51.000
hey oh jesus yeah and now you like now you're getting a little uncomfortable here toad yeah
01:24:56.200
because i i have dumbbells well well the thing about the ice maker i have i have had my ice
01:25:02.520
maker just randomly shoot ice at me so there is that dude move move you gotta leave
01:25:09.000
get the outside out of that hole look at toad's face right now look at his face he's just a man
01:25:16.600
more the more i learn about your life the more i feel for you and you need the voice on the left
01:25:21.480
side is going don't listen to them stay don't stay yeah well well they have me in this padded
01:25:27.400
cell here but for some reason they left me the weights they're even like for real you need to get
01:25:33.160
out i'm not even kidding and you sell your house get a fucking trailer with like five acres you'll
01:25:37.560
fucking you whether you use weights or not you'll start actually having to do yard work
01:25:41.400
you're fucking you'll you'll you'll be fine so do not say he needs a fucking gun no he's going to
01:25:46.280
blow his brain does not no i won't until he gets to a better place he does not need a gun
01:25:51.480
all right well let's let's uh do the binding video and fucking close it out all right let's do the
01:25:55.000
body i just had to touch on that because we just had to get to the bottom of what was going on and
01:25:58.760
apparently it was just sleep deprivation but it unlocked something in toad's brain to a higher
01:26:03.400
level i feel like we still haven't we still haven't gotten to the bottom because this is every week
01:26:06.920
every week now there's a thing with toe we're like either where is he or why is he acting like
01:26:11.640
such a fucking retard or why is he schizophrenic this week it's just every week something different
01:26:17.320
i know we bully you but we genuinely want you to get to a better place we're all concerned for you
01:26:22.040
uh get out of your hellhole stop gambling change your life please it's it's called wagering it's uh
01:26:28.440
toad's going i'm i've decided to get worse no no no no i was i was in like one of the worst holes
01:26:35.400
that i've been in to start the season i'm not talking about there yeah exactly but i've climbed
01:26:40.520
almost completely out of it over the span of like a couple weeks which is crazy so nobody we don't
01:26:44.920
care i'm doing all right i'm doing all right while you're gambling i genuinely think it's a problem and
01:26:48.680
you need to stop at least for now until your life gets in a better place honestly i wonder if we should
01:26:53.640
all kind of do some sleep deprivation to see if we can get on toad's level i like sleeping you should
01:26:57.560
no no no let's just let's just all go out like dude dude 72 hours no sleep since i've since i've been on
01:27:03.800
this show i've been sleep deprived i don't know i would probably not be funny if i had some sleep
01:27:09.240
so i don't know i'm trying to do a sane person let's play let's let's let biden update us on the
01:27:14.840
school shooting i was a now that was i was jc i was about to say that that he also has that guy
01:27:19.800
whispering to him and he's all fucking and once the guy goes away he just all suddenly gets younger
01:27:25.080
who's under the spell of grima worm tongue you fucking peasants oh yeah that's right yeah talking
01:27:30.760
about funko pop fag look at this fucking facts play the video
01:27:51.240
i came down because i heard there was chocolate chip ice cream
01:27:53.400
by the way i have a whole refrigerator full upstairs you think i'm kidding i'm not
01:27:59.960
ben how are you pal one of the best guys in the united states congress ben cardin
01:28:15.000
it's a delight to have you all here and who are those good-looking kids back there
01:28:18.920
are your kids all four of them well stand up guys let me see your ass
01:28:35.080
i'll say this if he was your grandpa he'd be a great grandpa because he's always gonna have
01:28:39.880
cream he's always gonna be loving on you like he's he seems pretty fun he's gonna be a little
01:28:44.360
senile says he'll tell you stories of like that he shouldn't be telling you he's got all that ukrainian
01:28:48.840
money yeah but yeah and but the funny thing is just like he came down apparently this was the
01:28:55.320
supposed to be the nashville shooter like it was supposed to just be like a
01:29:00.520
some business meeting or some meeting with like small businesses and they turned it into the nashville
01:29:05.240
shooting like meeting and so he just comes down he's thinking it's gonna be a small business
01:29:11.080
meeting or some shit like that and he's just making cracking jokes which i mean god i just
01:29:17.640
this makes me like him more which is funny it does it makes me like him more well yeah he's like uh
01:29:22.760
he's like an old man in a nursing home who's like really happy that he just got his pudding or
01:29:27.000
something like oh yeah we have chocolate chip ice cream today because he's like he's like whenever
01:29:33.240
like your your grandpa comes to an event and they're like they just told me they had some uh
01:29:37.320
like someone told me there was like chocolate chip ice cream here that's why i came and like
01:29:41.320
that's what that's like i mean he's fucking 80 years old he's just an old fucking grandpa
01:29:47.560
and someone's like he goes he thinks the fucking joke is just like and he's just like well i got
01:29:52.040
chocolate chip ice cream at home so i'm here i'm here regardless like it's like he's not even trying
01:29:58.040
at this point he's like i'm the president i'm just gonna do whatever the fuck i want i respect it
01:30:01.640
though yeah did you see that the other one of the uh the guy his handler take like literally like
01:30:07.800
walking him out and being like you step on the you stay on the blue tape that's your marker stay on
01:30:12.920
the blue tape and he's just like he fucking goes yeah he had a laugh track on this right because he
01:30:20.360
comes out he's like i'm joe biden and everybody just starts laughing like what well because it's
01:30:26.440
because it's funny like when you like it's it's it's funny in like the insane way of funny like
01:30:31.720
whatever like uh everybody understands this guy's senile and so it's really funny whenever a president
01:30:36.920
goes i'm joe biden dr jill biden's husband and like that's funny like that's if i walked out and i was
01:30:44.040
like i'm cole i'm elizabeth's husband like to do my own work and they're like what the fuck like i know
01:30:53.160
my wife is a doctor and i'm not and then just randomly he's like hey those are some attractive
01:30:57.400
kids over there all right let's finish this video stand up i do what it is considering the moment
01:31:06.680
the kids thing gets very fucking weird and funny at the same time
01:31:11.240
it makes me think he's just he goes to any room and he just looks for children and he's just like
01:31:16.200
there's some children there like he like gravitates towards them has to say something yeah hey oh those
01:31:21.080
are your kids bring them to me also if people saying this isn't joe no no this is joe this is
01:31:26.760
the real joe biden this is the this isn't the either the deep fake or the uh the stand-in that they
01:31:31.720
have this is this is actually senile joe biden they actually had him come down for this one
01:31:36.840
no this is just this is a clone of joe biden but every time they clone them the iterations just get
01:31:41.400
worse and worse like they're like less of like whatever it originally was and i prefer it this way
01:31:46.280
yeah like that where like he made clones or some shit each one got more retarded you know it was
01:31:52.520
yeah they got less uh well it was funny they they're all lazy every lick is lazy and so each time they
01:31:58.760
become lazier and the next iteration and so when they build it they just build it with less like
01:32:03.640
good materials right yeah because each one is lazier than the previous and builds the next one so
01:32:09.800
yeah so it starts out like where it's like you know it's slightly different but then by the end
01:32:15.880
they're like like wooden but but it's also like at some point he's just gonna be fetterman like
01:32:21.960
they're just they clone him down until he's just finally like literally like but they're they're like
01:32:27.080
can't even fucking talk and then they're also cloned recently so that was that's a good conspiracy
01:32:33.400
right here he looks great he looks great now crazy i do like the but i mean we all believe
01:32:42.040
that there are biden like stand-ins correct same as like the hillary stand-ins i don't know maybe
01:32:47.080
maybe not i mean i don't know i don't be surprised if he has a doppelganger but i also think it could
01:32:52.360
easily be attributed like a facelift or some shit but i think your thing was not no no no i think joe
01:32:58.040
biden's been dead for 10 years it's eight years so it's possible yeah all right let's finish this
01:33:03.480
so he died right at the end of the obama administration like obama got out yeah died
01:33:09.960
yeah uh left three children dead uh three adults dead shooters dead and we were told he would be
01:33:17.480
addressing this off the top he's he's still flirting with the kids it's rather surprising i thought that
01:33:22.120
that a somber president here and a little bit of ice came out for you school shooting
01:33:28.520
well this is fox news too so they're like making fun of him a little bit too like
01:33:32.200
well there's this is you know a really serious time and joe biden comes down and he's
01:33:36.920
just joking around and uh hitting on kids and i don't know i mean it's it's joe biden at his best man
01:33:43.720
it's it's top form all right guys i miss clint but let's uh what do we got here yeah what do
01:33:50.360
we have here what is this oh crack sports lebron was just suspended for the regular season by the
01:33:55.800
way i bet on the lakers tonight it's not even true i don't even know why what is this about
01:34:10.520
what the show me this is for what is this why did you just show this that was okay what all right
01:34:17.640
guys with that we're out of here you're fucking fire that was weird okay well we uh plugs you
01:34:24.600
guys want to plug yourselves oh yeah uh um next let them let them guess where we're at
01:34:37.080
oh say we can't hear you we cannot hear you are you for real right now yeah go ahead
01:34:41.720
can you hear me all right uh next week next thursday i'll be going on uh via spaces on twitter
01:34:48.440
i'll be going on the redhead libertarian spaces we'll be talking about uh the oklahoma city bombings
01:34:53.240
that one should be fun if you have any questions that'll be a good spot for you to show up and ask
01:34:57.480
them uh so that should be good i supposed to be going on part of the problem here soon i've got
01:35:02.040
to reschedule twice so uh you know that jude doesn't want you on yeah he's just ignoring me
01:35:09.720
he just did an episode i believe we'll get on you along he goes like oh man i'm so sorry we'll
01:35:15.800
reschedule and he just keeps rescheduling and he's just like you know what i think i think we missed
01:35:19.480
the chat i think we missed the window man if he keeps it up i'm not gonna lie i'd be a little bit
01:35:22.920
irritating but uh you know it is what it is uh you know it should happen but uh yeah uh i should be
01:35:28.440
in part of the problem soon to do a whole okc episode keep your eye out for it i don't really
01:35:32.520
have anything else big other than that but uh yeah subscribe to my channel i'm on youtube i'll
01:35:36.440
make your rpod triggers odyssey as well give me money patreon.com snowhosea 2020 there you go
01:35:41.960
nice um me i i have a twitter instagram and a website don't pull that up take take it down i don't
01:35:48.760
want anybody to know where i'm at or to follow me go ahead cole oh but but do go to uh merch
01:35:55.400
engine is that what's called merch engine no fuck that too don't even go there oh yeah all right
01:36:00.120
back i'm with dave and uh gang cole on twitter i haven't been tweeting lately because i just
01:36:05.080
haven't been into the mood uh so like you know i just i literally just go on there and just talk
01:36:12.280
to the homies and then i'll treat every once in a while about some random shit but yeah get on
01:36:16.440
the patreon tower gang uh patreon uh oh i didn't realize 30 off pph merch i don't i don't even get
01:36:23.320
30 off with terry merch uh yeah you do i don't think i've ever i think i was i was just the only
01:36:30.760
one that's bought me tower game all right ask top and it'll happen i'm pretty sure oh wait i'm
01:36:35.800
supposed to be on a show with isabella riley uh on tuesday yeah real quick april 6th is when it is
01:36:44.280
because i know i said next thursday but i don't know when you're watching wait wait wait are you
01:36:48.280
are you seriously going on with isabella riley yeah she asked me something all right fine i guess
01:36:53.400
hell yeah is that bad no she's big do it it's gonna be awesome she she's uh she's in trouble for
01:36:59.880
like something based recently i forget what it was exactly but i don't know go look at her twitter i
01:37:04.680
thought it was funny tower game tone on twitter i'm pissing everybody off as usual and maybe being
01:37:10.280
skit so i don't know follow tower game pod everywhere youtube go to the patreon subscribe
01:37:15.160
to the patreon patreon.com slash tower game pod and we're on odyssey we were not on rumble tonight
01:37:19.960
because the streaming was down again but the episode will be up on rumble as well we're up on
01:37:24.440
spotify you can find us at different places and a little bit of a shout out what i'm wearing tonight
01:37:29.800
i have the human action podcast in nisa sweatshirt here uh thank you to jeff dice for all of his good
01:37:36.040
work that he's done over the years unfortunately he stepped down i love that guy he's one of the
01:37:41.880
best he's one of the good ones he steps down from life oh my god all right let's kick a kick us into
01:37:50.040
the out let me do something important in your life jeff take us out random it's the tower power hour
01:37:56.600
slut no way jose liberty lockdown plint bitch reed
01:38:06.760
cole top lobster and toad tower gang tower gang tower gang tower gang tower gang tower gang
01:38:13.400
tower gang tower gang tower gang liberty lock is truth say same with lobster cole and jose
01:38:19.480
toad is sick no way jose the tower power hour slug they made day spent all his power gang tower gang
01:38:25.480
tower gang tower gang tower gang tower gang tower gang tower gang tower gang tower gang tower gang
01:38:31.000
they speak courage you sped sped more than rogan you fed you fed truth bombs whether tim cast hotep
01:38:37.480
more offensive los no disrespect more offensive than ls no disrespect yes redhead libertarian is their
01:38:44.280
best friend unless they get raided then they never met never met none of this should be new to me truly
01:38:49.480
clint is a sexual brute to me sorry no booster seat get them tall boots on you not a midget
01:38:53.640
fuck every podcast that won't stoop to me libertarian won't be the same day revolutiony
01:38:57.960
that's a word i miss grammar send it to rhyme dubitably that to promote myself on their shot
01:39:02.920
stupidly comedy philosophy mark random.com user free random i'm single lady so please choose me
01:39:09.000
they scream tower gang worldwide tower gang rise together we will overthrow
01:39:14.440
tower gang tower gang tower gang tower gang tower gang
01:39:16.440
liberty lock is truth say same with lobster cole and jose toad is sick no way jose if you read i
01:39:25.960
ride jose with jose pay me dates with all his fame tower gang tower gang tower gang tower gang tower gang
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tower gang tower gang tower gang tower gang tower gang tower gang