Ep 117 - Infinite Butthole Tattoo w⧸ Brian McWilliams
Episode Stats
Length
1 hour and 49 minutes
Words per Minute
194.77199
Hate Speech Sentences
315
Summary
Tower Gang is back and this time we have a guest on the show, Cole aka Cole aka the most swole patrol dad that s ever been known. Cole has the biggest dick in the history of swolopers, and it's not even close to being a normal dick.
Transcript
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what's up retards I'm trying to start a cult here baby so I can only fit a third of my dick into
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toads and mussy you want to kill me or you want to give me a boner I don't know when I say fuck
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the Jews it means I'm horny hello is me I'm retarded any of you guys ever had the mythical
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where they put the whole thing in and then do that shit where they're oh oh oh three of you
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had a threesome of some kind I was watching it and jerking off
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Louis you're like a brother to me Donald Trump come on Tower Gang that is the most offensive podcast
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this show is so fucking cool yeah it's crazy you guys get to watch this shit for free because this
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show is really really fucking cool thank you guys so much for tuning in once again this is Clint
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Russell this is Tower Gang we got Tower Gang Toad in the top left where he will be hanging himself
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later we got Brian McWilliams Mr. Lions of Liberty back in this motherfucker we got fat
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smooth aka Cole aka the most swole patrol dad that's ever been known and sooner rather than
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later we will have Jose Gellison as well as Top Lobster so hang in there don't tune out yet we know
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all the ladies want to see the sex appeal dude can Cole flex again because your muscles look big
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your hands look so teeny tiny oh dude I have the fucking baby hands holy shit oh my god dude I have
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the smallest hands man like it is and they're so soft I've been working out for months now and they're
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still so soft no calluses or anything like you're not wearing gloves no Clint wears gloves I don't
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wear the fucking I wear I gotta wear I get calluses with gloves man see I was gonna say how do you even
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hold up the weights you must have like those ties you wrap it around I do I do I had a
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all the way up to the forearms I posted a tweet the other day that was like uh I was at the urinal
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and I had I went in I was doing deadlifts and so I had my straps on he's just he's just literally
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pissing through the back of the urinals there's so many fucking roids in his system yeah but also
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and so I just had it there and I was like whenever uh your shit's too heavy and you have to wrap it so
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I had like my uh the wraps around my dick and I was but but yeah I've always gotten made fun of
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because my I mean look at my paintings dude like look at that I mean it's like yeah but Cole of my
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knuckles you could never reach around to like finger a girl's asshole while she's on top of you
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like you would never be able to reach I get I get like a like the bit of a just the bit of the nail
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right there so it just scratches them so just all right just Cole's gonna put on a Chinese finger
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trap to be able to finger a chick in the butt Cole cannot do the shocker can you imagine if the
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the Chinese finger cup gets attached to a shit inside of her you have to relax you have to
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relax your ass into it that's the game that's the trick of it you know uh there is one real uh big
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advantage to having the small hands though which is that your dick looks way bigger in comparison so
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or is that just yeah when I jerk off I'm like it's like I mean it's huge it's but it always felt bad
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because like you know they talk about the two and the pink pinky and the stinky and like I mean look at
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I mean like shocking you the stinky it's like I'm she's getting not even a knuckle
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you definitely don't have a big dick right I have I mean not with the steroids no yeah I just know
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with the finger size my balls are tiny insanely small but I'm all balls no dick it's crazy
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you talk about how you just have ginormous balls I do I have enormous balls I have a good size dick but
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my balls are ridiculous you should take steroids to like if you take it would balance out actually
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yeah you gotta shrink the balls I think it's actually God's way of telling me to do roids
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that's true yeah if you have huge balls do steroids that's oh listen to this shit I've got a I have a
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huge throbbing like you ever see those monster movies with like aliens that are super smart they
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have giant brains with throbbing veins in their skulls yeah that's my ball sack yeah that's my balls
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I've got like some giant ass vein that just is on the top so chicks will go down and like like oh let me
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suck on your balls and it's just like like literally like like bulging into their ear holes
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you know repulsive I don't know how to deal with it yeah they pull your pants down it's just Mars
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attacks down there yeah it's legit let me take a little little sidetrack story here I it's it's so
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jarring to me to have just traveled around the country I was in Washington state I'm giving these
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really heartfelt speeches I'm I'm moderating presidential speech uh debates and then I go to Colorado I'm giving
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this hour-long solo monologue about the state of the economy and macroeconomics and the petrodollar
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system and I come here and I just hear about Brian's fucking veiny ball sack my life is so so strange
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why don't you bring me with you and I'll do the opening the opening speech about how do you avoid
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the veiny ball sack because I've I've made mistakes in my life clearly guys if you're jerking off I know
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sometimes it's tempting to hold it in you know like you're like I'm gonna come and you hold it really
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tight with your fist don't do it don't do it don't do it I didn't say that's what I first
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thought you could I thought I could just I guess everybody probably did it when they first like
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would like 14 years old you're jerking it and you're thinking like well what if I could just
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like oh you jammed it what you jammed the cannon yeah yeah like where you're just like what if I
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just like squeeze my dick as hard as I can so it can't come that's how it feels great you can you
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probably blow your dick out you must be able to you must be able to right I've done it I've done
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I've been able to choke to come back one time I did it one time oh no no no no no I've choked it back
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but I'm saying what he's describing is like firing it into a pinched cannon which would backfire and
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like blow your asshole out I think it goes back into your balls and your balls that's why your balls
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are so big you have no prostate at age 12 because you're blew it out the back it's just hang
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it's just hanging out like a ball in a cup game oh my god all right like if the chick actually
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blows in it it emplates your balls instead and then they explode I'm pretty sure that's how it
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works makes sense to me uh let's let's go let's go for a mailbag mailbag boy yeah all right speaking
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of ball sacks yeah little dicky all right liminal vibration asks if biden was on tower gang how long
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into the episode would it take for him to drop the hard r oh my god I feel like we could get him
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pretty quick what do you guys think yeah I think I think you just be like hey tell us about your
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childhood and you're just like well yeah tell us about corn pop I I feel like I would ask him about
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his uh his his days of uh what's it called life preserving what's it called when you had the
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lifeguarding like they watch oh I was like what what is that word I don't know I thought you meant
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a dream about whenever you were just uh that donut on the side of a ship I don't I think I think all
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you have to do is bring up for today you bring up you bring up kareem john pierre and he's dropping
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that r instantly he's like that fucking I hired her for one reason and that fucking you know bam I
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think you could do it with the same with the kamala be like hey man just like really like what do you
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think about her like for real like can you do a biden impersonation at all because I I have a
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really big ask for you right now if you can oh I can't I can't do it but let me tell you man
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she's not even in oh no I see I knew cole would actually drop the hard art so that's why I wanted
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him to do it I'm not good at impressions I can't do it but like it's just uh but like
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I really I really think like if you get him just one-on-one just get a couple drinks in him
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dude will just tell you insane stories like no filter at all but because he's just senile not
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because like he's cool like he's not he's not a cool guy like he was he's just like super senile and
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he'll just drop like your grandpa the same as like your senile grandpa would do the same thing and
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that's just that's the leader of our he's worse than my grandpa I'm gonna be straight up with you
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I honestly think he's more racist than my grandfather oh I don't know uh well you don't
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know my grandfather toad well I don't know I don't know Clint I think your grandpa's pretty racist
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see my grandpa's dead but refused to be buried with black people so when does that oh
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take top boys take top boys why why is this happening what up yo what's going on what's up
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guys I was listening I was listening to your jerk off segment in the car on the way uh to the show
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here and I I realized I was trying to blurt it I was like I used to do that I used to squeeze my
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dick before I came and it looked just like Brian's head look I even had a hole in the top of my head
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going to the zoo I went to the zoo and I'm crawling through the by the way I found
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the number one place to molest a child at the la zoo there's no second place number one
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you're just looking for that well you know I thought it by accident like please
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I've tried everywhere there is nowhere better than you you know why you come to tower getting
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consumer information like this like this is you can't get it for like this so I'm at the la zoo
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there's this like children's park area and there's a cave they're like kids come see the caves
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see how cool it is there's a mini cave in the bigger cave that's like children go in this cave
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right and I'm like trying to get my daughter in there for good dad purposes but I fall in there
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and it's pitch fucking black man but you know they've got stalactite sticking out the fucking
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ceiling which cut your head but oh my god yeah that's a nice little mark you got there oh yeah
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oh I I scraped it I scraped the scab off on my new car interior this morning too which is fun
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is that like there's just a big blood streak is that one of those things you got to keep dilating or
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does it just always stay open it's gonna it's gonna slowly tighten up and tighten up and tighten
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up which is beautiful I know we're not we're not allowing so to wear a tank top do you know
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how pumped I was when when top came in here to match with us
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top do we have do you have tank tops do you have tower gang tanked oh no I need to get one I need
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to buy one because I gotta I gotta get one because I'll I'll actually wear that to the uh to the gym
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like fucking um uh Royce Royce fucking looking so good yeah I appreciate that and it's awesome that
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he's fucking going to war with the uh Lady Gaga fans because I don't know if who else in here agrees
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but I 100% agree Lady Gaga is not a looker at all she is no she's not I think I think that she was
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decently pretty in uh A Star Is Born well I mean there's a lot there's a lot of special effects
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going did you see her at the Oscars singing when she I don't know wiped off she wiped all her makeup
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off she looked like somebody that had recently been bleeding out of the mouth and also had the worst
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skin you see let me just like fucking pockmark Pete's face like like heroin needle meth face it was
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hard and she is and she is also one of the most uh like stuck up if you uh they were I was like
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watching uh your mom's house today and they were watching an interview that they that Lady Gaga did
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with uh uh fuck I can't remember the girl the mom from Freaky Friday that's what I know her from
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oh yeah Jamie Lee Curtis yes the original famous tranny that's Jamie Lee you gotta go true lies if
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you're gonna bring up Jamie Lee Curtis come on well Jamie Lee Curtis so sweet so sweet and young
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Jamie Lee Curtis is a hermaphrodite I thought and she has a trans kid I think is the thing wait she
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really what are the odds that's what they say I don't I don't know has that been she's got
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such amazing tits if like honestly what an argument for hermaphrodites with her fucking knockers
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in trading places get the fuck out of here with that titties like that with the fucking big old
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dong I'm down let's do this even in uh what was that movie she was just in with all the
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the Asian people or she's like the old oh she's a she's a fat like DMV worker or some shit she's an
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ir she's an irs lady she has a bunch of awards that are also butt plugs I'm not even uh everywhere um
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all at once isn't it any everything everywhere all at once yeah yeah yeah she's got some nice
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cans are we still talking about Jamie Lee Curtis we are right yeah I don't know when she danced all
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seductively uh to try and like get out of being caught as a spy for Arnold Schwarzenegger in that
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movie uh true lies back in the day I was like I was down for to see what that little two-inch
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was doing watch it again and see this cellulite for the first time really really uh yeah I mean I
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was like 10 so I don't know that's the thing when it's not on VCR and you're having an HD now
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yeah you get it you watch that shit on fucking HD dude and you're like oh Jamie roll it out
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roll it out she really she's really hermaphrodite or is just some no I don't know it's like
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it's true I knew that all the way back in high school Doug yeah me too is this like is this like
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one of the high school like middle school like no no I think it's googling around just like the
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little dicky fact checker no that Richard Gere shit's true so and and also and the ribs out of
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Marilyn Manson's ribs not and little Kim also had to get her stomach pumped for sucking off of all of
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bad boy records yeah everything little Kim's stomach is so small though toad could fill her
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stomach with cum like let's be honest but he's also got 40 years of backup yeah he's been pinching
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the head for so long right I I have a powerful uh stream of jizz so uh I've proven a lot there's a
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that that long exhale inhale is just doesn't make it believable at all this uh wait so Jamie Lee
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Curtis it says it's a fat whopper of a lie oh that's what that's what her PR machine says
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I don't believe it she's got a clit that's so big that it is a penis and this this this reminds me of
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the best porno that I've ever seen oh stop fucking segwaying don't allow him for a long time don't
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allow him to do it don't allow him to do it look look it's fine but if it's not good you have to
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leave for the rest of the episode no I came in here hot fuck you toad we had we had like you woke
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me up you ruined my whole day with this bullshit that I swear to god I was I was irritable for the
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rest of the day like my kids were like what's wrong with you he woke me I forgot even what you
00:14:21.740
were saying like he was talking like he's the authority on baseball I'm like toad you've never
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even threw a ball before I don't know how to catch I don't think you understand how much
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top was so upset about this I've never I've never seen him so mad no he was like I'm gonna block
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toad I'm gonna block him because he's talking about the Yankees or something like shit like that
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yeah my my basic point was right though oh I remember what it shut the fuck up toad here here's
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what it was okay Mariano Rivera retires they make uh they make him uh the Minnesota Twins make him a
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a bench or a seat out of like all the broken bats and toad being the autistic spurg
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yeah the autistic spurg that he is is like why would they do that like doesn't don't they know
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that he broke those bats on yeah they know they collected them he's a legend I don't I don't but
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I don't understand I don't even understand the argument that's like Nick Cannon uh and his throne
00:15:13.840
of broken placentas no yeah to me it's like it's like like why would you like do that like like does
00:15:20.440
just Peyton Manning like people care about the legends man like yeah does Peyton Manning give Tom Brady
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a sofa made of now hold on hold on hold on when Kobe went around in his final in his 20th season
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when everyone knew he was retiring well he went around really fast and then he went right into
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the ground that's not a joke about that every single away team when he was when he was on the
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road they gave him a standing ovation they gave him special awards they gave him plaques I'm talking
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fucking Boston Garden they were giving Philly did it happens we booed that because he's a Philly he's a
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Philly guy that played us and fuck fuck Kobe Bryant I'm just gonna say it again right here I don't
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think he's dead like unironically he's not dead I don't think he's dead god I hope you're right
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this is the one conspiracy theory I need his daughter's definitely dead
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that's the whole conspiracy yeah he actually murdered his daughter
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this is the cover yeah wow anyway this is it's just the disrespect that Toad puts on the game of
00:16:18.040
of baseball where he's like he doesn't he can't yeah shut up he can't understand why somebody would
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revere someone else so great because he's only about these like ones and zeros and the numbers
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and the stats and I'm not everything but I love it it's like it's like I've dedicated up I dedicate
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like half my life to play baseball Toad and you're gonna sit here and tell me about the batting
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average of some obscure player in the 90s like I give a fuck like you could even think on the
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same level as me in this game you can't Toad I don't the disrespect the disrespect that you have
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bestowed upon me in this group chat you're like I would have fucking slapped you you don't understand
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I understand why Nick Ashley slapped you I understand why he left this show I was very close
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I was just close Toad I love the top set on this for 48 hours just to let it like
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Nick Ashley slapped me because I broke my sobriety got extremely hammered and then jerked off during a
00:17:10.420
threesome that's why no what I what I left you before you did that is that no it was after
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Toad like sees like Jackie Robinson day all the teams are wearing 42 and he's like what the fuck
00:17:19.920
is this about like what the no one can look at like he was like what's that about what
00:17:25.560
but I get what he's saying about Jackie Robinson I get what he's saying though if you're Jackie
00:17:31.420
Robinson's greatest competition and you're like I'm not wearing a fucking 42 like look I get where
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he's coming from man if I'm a competitor I don't want I don't want it I don't want a shrine to the
00:17:42.540
guy that fucked my team over all the time right he can eat my cock like I'm with him on that I get
00:17:48.100
it I get his point there my point when he gave them that they gave him the rocket chair it's not
00:17:53.460
like they're fucking making their starting pitcher sitting it for the rest of their life
00:18:02.220
be as good as him yeah you get the splinters all up in your ass that do you guys want to hear about
00:18:09.780
this porno that I'm no god fucking damn I thought it top top I know you're upset at him I do want to
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hear this I do I want to hear it I'm talking about this okay literally I steered this away from
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this I steered it pretty good we should not be talking about one condition toad you can tell
00:18:25.520
about this porn but I get to tell you my favorite porn story which involves me uh a guy trying to
00:18:30.540
have sex with me wait all right you're allowed to tell the story toad if at any point any one of
00:18:36.680
us can stop you any one of us we just put our hand up and that's it okay and little dicky mute him
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okay go ahead this is not a story about myself this is go ahead tread carefully we know it's
00:18:50.400
about sex we know it's not the greatest porno that exists so this is a porno involving twin
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female hermaphrodites like they look like really hot chicks they're twin sisters and they both have
00:19:05.300
dick balls and vagina all of it and and throughout throughout this porno they yeah they do
00:19:12.700
everything to the point no no to the point where to each other yeah oh to each other to the point
00:19:18.640
where they're uh also yeah doing yeah double penetration on each other yeah dick and vagina
00:19:25.080
double both ways yeah oh you understand i'm not gonna lie i'm interested i'm pretty
00:19:30.320
how do you how do you with the balls there one have one on top and one have one on the bottom like
00:19:36.360
it's like like legos yeah yeah yeah it's like it's like it's like sex tetris
00:19:42.080
what is it dp like they're both in the they're both going in their vagina hole
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so it's an ass and vagina so i guess they've got a vibrator in the hole with the others no no no no
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i just realized what everyone was doing they're all put
00:19:54.640
no no it's it's yeah it's two people who they're they're chicks they're like hot chicks they're twins
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they have dicks you fucking homo they're not chicks they both have they both have dicks and
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vaginas yeah yeah how does it how does it all how does it all like uh like like hang like what
00:20:16.560
because now i i'm tempted to i just imagine the tech does the tetris theme play during this
00:20:21.760
yes it does actually this is this porno is from i think it's from when they line up
00:20:29.760
they all disappear and then yeah that that's the end goal they're trying to get rid of one
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the dicks or the vaginas they're like we got them
00:20:37.360
yeah no they do that and then their whole like their center abdomen just vanishes
00:20:43.440
no no i i was thinking like they just do that and then just like right any other like
00:20:48.720
fucking weirdo and like training everything they just off themselves at that point
00:20:57.920
hey toad i need some details real quick um yes do they have big dicks are their pussies enormous
00:21:04.000
do they come where do they come i need i need how gross would it be if the wiring is wrong and
00:21:09.600
they come instead of squirting out of the vaginas it's just a thick load of spooge oh oh let's um
00:21:23.840
you were saying that they were entering each other does that mean that one had yes that one
00:21:29.440
had their dick on the bottom of the vagina on top the other one had it reversed correct yeah that is
00:21:35.360
correct one has to be laying down on their stomach for that to work i i assume otherwise
00:21:42.400
toad's a liar and that's fine too yeah no go go watch it one is on top and they just like walk
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toward each other and they just kind of it just kind of no that's not how it works do we know any
00:21:51.360
architects that we can get i am i am an engineer that's close that's like if you're hermaphrodite
00:21:59.840
and your and your balls are slapping with your sister does it make you gay yeah you know i kind
00:22:05.040
of want to address elizabeth's question here i don't have any brothers or sisters i'm an only
00:22:09.360
child that's why i'm so fucking awesome but i'm sure some of you guys do so let's all just let's
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let's run through this in our heads imagine having sex with your sister i don't know if she's asking
00:22:18.000
us to imagine it or she's saying like it's it's uh it's hermaphrodite no uh you know why is she telling
00:22:23.680
us to imagine that that doesn't seem nice todd you jerked off with your cousin i said not with my
00:22:28.400
cousin that was the established dominance that was he was asleep that's a totally different
00:22:32.480
thing no he was fully awake and i wouldn't understand he knows he wouldn't understand
00:22:36.640
you wouldn't get it you would what is this a hispanic thing actually yeah i know it is
00:22:42.080
it was a language it's machismo whoever comes on the other person's face first is king of the family
00:22:47.280
is there anyone more masculine than italians they kiss each other's cheeks and then they blow each
00:22:50.880
other's brains out so it makes perfect sense this is what they do spicy blood that's right i do i'd like
00:22:55.920
it is weird because you did say they were twin sister brothers uh yes i did i did twin sister
00:23:02.560
brothers and so so these people were you like you can confirm they were related let's call them twin
00:23:12.000
brosters yeah i'm pretty sure i'm pretty sure that is correct yeah this is uh imagine imagine if you
00:23:19.920
like you as the mother you you give birth and then you just see you're like oh it's twins oh they're
00:23:26.160
fucking like tranny weirdo that's a whoopsie that's a whoopsie that's when you look at them in the in
00:23:32.320
like the womb you know the ultrasound and then you know that room from like the virus movies where you
00:23:36.800
could just hit a button and the whole room burst into flames that's where you give birth and they pop
00:23:41.600
out you're just like nope everybody out boop yeah but yeah but can you imagine the uh gender reveal
00:23:47.520
for that shit though what is it it's just it's two and we don't know what they are
00:23:55.680
it's just a brown cloud i think hermaphrodites are like one in a hundred thousand so and then
00:24:00.880
identical twins are like one in a thousand or something so you have i mean the odds here are
00:24:06.160
astronomical and then on top of that they fuck their lives are so fucked up and their father has left
00:24:10.480
them so young that they end up doing porn together the odds of any of this being real are almost
00:24:17.040
let me tell you guys let me tell you guys a real story this is a real true story and it's depressing
00:24:21.680
i'm pretty sure my my family it's from the 70s they'd be upset me tell them but i'm gonna tell
00:24:26.240
it anyway so my i don't know what he is he's like my third cousin or something from like port like in
00:24:31.040
puerto rico shit gets real convoluted but i know this guy uh his name was i'm not gonna say his name
00:24:36.960
but he was like he's he's gay right and he's an artist and all this stuff and the family knows
00:24:42.880
him and uh it turns out like like right before my grandmother died she's like 90 something she's
00:24:47.840
telling us in spanish she's like she remembers seeing him uh when he was a kid when he was a
00:24:53.040
baby and she says that he had dos part this they didn't understand they didn't understand how to
00:24:58.800
say like what hermaphrodite was a concept was two parts he had two parts and it's like then it's
00:25:04.400
like this weird moral conundrum because he's he's gay he's gay but then he might is it gay
00:25:10.480
yeah because like i don't know what to like what extent that means like all gay dudes have pussies
00:25:15.840
you ever think about that wait what's the word what's the spanish what's the spanish word for
00:25:20.640
that would be really funny if like all gay dudes do have pussies and we're just missing out like
00:25:36.640
they're just like really ugly chicks yeah they get that bomb pussy too they know how to work it man
00:25:42.480
the only way that you figure that out is if you okay let's go around the horn if you were
00:25:46.560
hermaphrodite would you be with men or women oh good question yeah yeah yeah like what would
00:25:50.880
you be because like you could still gonna be with women i'm not women yeah do i look like i look now
00:25:55.280
or do i look more like toad yeah that's that's the question right yeah you look like dill mulvaney
00:26:03.600
if you don't get pussy by the time you're 40 you gotta fuck dudes that's the rule yeah
00:26:09.840
is that how it works maybe you're gay have you ever thought about that no never you should think
00:26:14.640
think about it you might be gay you should think about it you should at least you should
00:26:18.880
at least try it the orbs the balls because if you're gay then like this all makes a lot more
00:26:23.120
sense how much better would this show be if what would what can we describe what would what would
00:26:29.360
they got twinks they got bears what would toad's gay you know gay club description be
00:26:45.040
it's a toad yeah so we would call him toph that's like i misspelled his name one time in the group
00:26:51.360
chat and that's his new name now toph i love it all right i think they do have uh i don't even know
00:26:56.800
what was the question if you were hermaphrodite uh what would you yeah would you which way would
00:27:01.440
you swing would you go with men or women or would you just go or i'm going both because i'm just
00:27:05.680
i'm just myself i'm asexual at that point i don't know that's pretty cool that's dope oh yeah yeah
00:27:09.600
you could do the hole in one but in your own vagina that would be crazy and also we know it would be
00:27:14.400
to bend a dick that's a hard dick into your own vagina that just sounds pleasant that's like sitting
00:27:19.520
on your belt well i mean i believe in your abilities you can't do it to your pussy let's just be real
00:27:24.480
yeah exactly and i've got a long dick i've tried to reach that ass it ain't happening this guy's
00:27:29.040
lying he doesn't have a long dick i can tell by the shape of your head look at my hands compared to
00:27:33.200
cole's hands that just means that just means that your dick is real small when you grab it
00:27:40.000
i can get my i can get my post beat dick to touch my asshole anybody else
00:27:44.080
no i mean it's not like it's not limp but you know what i'm saying you have to spread your balls
00:27:54.400
out yeah like to the side to get it to go through the middle you just remind me of that i just saw
00:27:58.640
the nuts the clip out of camera i don't know what it's like a prince albert for your you have a
00:28:02.880
you have a prince albert in your ball sack just so you can shove your i i assert dominance on my own
00:28:06.720
nut sack by shoving my dick through my balls into my butt the like fucking your own ass it reminds me of
00:28:11.520
that i just saw the clip of that from that movie i don't know what movie it's from but the guy pulls
00:28:15.600
up to like a hooker and he's just like hey like what do you do it's like the eddie murphy true hollywood
00:28:20.480
story you guys have just like it was like i want to fuck you in the ass and she was like
00:28:25.520
fuck your your own asshole bitch and he was like i think maybe that was the inspiration for why i did
00:28:30.400
it come on no one else here has ever tried to touch their fucking asshole with their dickhead
00:28:34.000
no it seems very uncomfortable like it's like i knew like my my 12 year old analytical brain
00:28:42.560
knew that it could not reach and so i just never tried it it was just like that's impossible you might
00:28:47.280
surprise yourself like hold on i'm doing a measure hold on measuring i put my finger in my ass right now
00:28:52.880
i don't know like that that's i could do that that's i'm telling you people think that they
00:29:01.920
can't do it but they can yeah i could totally and they should so how much come have you had in your
00:29:08.480
own ass from your own no no i'm postbeat i can't actually put my you still got a little bit of drip
00:29:13.520
you still got a little bit of drips there and use just for moisture that's a good point that's a good
00:29:16.880
point that he shoots massive hard loads like just like he has they're prosthetics you idiot oh i knew
00:29:24.480
it i knew it it's just some weird ass midget shit god toad you're off the show you're off the show
00:29:36.640
all right i knew you were wrong i knew it was prosthetics the the odds of that being real are so
00:29:41.200
small i mean there are real ass lesbian twins that do all sorts of shit like piss in each other's
00:29:46.240
mouths to do ass to mouth that shit's fantastic don't get me wonderful stuff but yeah there's
00:29:52.560
no chance in hell you said that there was you had a porn story where you almost fucked oh no i i didn't
00:29:58.000
almost he's trying to fuck me okay so when i was a young beautiful man in la i met the i'm out of the
00:30:04.080
yes with with uh with aids so i'm out of so i'm out of this club and uh did you ever see that movie
00:30:10.800
saving silverman right with uh yeah so there's a hot yeah there's a hot blonde nun you probably
00:30:17.120
do there's a hot blonde nun in that movie i meet her out at the club with this like attractive black
00:30:22.320
chick and this other dude and they're like oh let's go party at my place i'm like let's go so i'm trying
00:30:27.280
to hook up with the black chick because the blonde chick is too good for me she's amanda detmer by the
00:30:32.160
way amanda detmer yes thank you so i i hit off the guy i make out with the plaques she's like i have a
00:30:37.520
boyfriend i'm like well that's a big fucking let down you know slap her upside the head and move on
00:30:42.240
so i come from the guy though who's like a model whatever in la and we become we're hanging out but
00:30:48.880
one day we're hanging out we're doing some recreational drugs and he's like hey we're gonna
00:30:53.520
go to this guy's party the blonde model from sex in the city if you remember that blonde model no
00:30:58.560
idea what his name is either we go back to his house and he's like let me just stop off come
00:31:02.880
here i want to show you something he flips on a porno it's a french porno and he's like weird
00:31:08.240
that yes yeah and we're in his bedroom and he's like he lies on the bed and he lies on the bed and
00:31:14.320
i'm young and i'm young i'm like all right so you sit on the bed you sit on the bed next to him i
00:31:19.040
gingerly sit on the bed and he and he's like that's a wine and he's like lied he's like lie down we
00:31:25.840
can do some more of these drugs and i'm like well hold on joy drugs this is exactly what happened
00:31:31.120
with me and my cousin but but just continue i'm curious to see which side of this you end up on
00:31:36.480
so i lie down he's like he's like this is the hottest porn it's an italian porn the girls are so
00:31:41.360
hot and then i'm like all right uh i suppose so then he whips out his little shriveled cock because
00:31:47.200
the drugs he's doing they make your cock little and shriveled and i'm like this is uncomfortable
00:31:50.880
and then he goes hey you ever fucked a little filipino boy in the ass and i was like
00:31:59.520
i i can't say that i have he goes it's great now and i gotta go bud
00:32:06.720
and he and he was not a little filipino boy i take it he was not oh no or i would have 100 tried it
00:32:11.520
just once okay no so this little filipino boys can't afford a house in los angeles glenn come on
00:32:18.640
was he admitting to rape like i think he was i mean essentially yes at least at least that is
00:32:26.320
at least no but in the philippines is naturally rape brian you flatter yourself because i still
00:32:32.160
don't think he was coming on to you he was just telling you stuff no and you're assuming like when
00:32:36.800
you're when you're pulling out your little little penis and masturbating with it and talking about
00:32:40.720
fucking boys you definitely are at something you're trying to get it this dude's sitting there he's
00:32:45.360
fucking he's got his pants down he's bearing his soul to you he's telling you about the time he's
00:32:50.240
he's he's bearing his hole was he never ryan ryan would never make it in tower gang no man
00:32:57.040
i i would run fucking tower gang in a week if i was on this fucking show
00:33:05.280
you don't think you don't think that whenever we get together that we all pull our little shriveled
00:33:09.280
dicks out because that's what we have is little so we do this and then we all just talk about our like
00:33:14.320
the filipinos you banged yes absolutely boys the ones the ones that got away lowest rungs of asian
00:33:20.640
as was established in another show the mexican asians yeah and then and then we cry together
00:33:27.200
like because we're talking about things like we miss and we're bonding together over halfway
00:33:33.360
masturbating together and then you gotta stand you stand in a circle only the right hand because you're
00:33:37.840
you're stretching down your little shriveled cocks to touch your assholes with the left hand yes
00:33:41.920
you have to touch it sorry i don't i don't remember what i said i'm an insane person please type that
00:33:50.480
oh a little dicky what we got for what's the next uh yeah yeah we got it we got it
00:33:54.640
we started on biden here and then we got to uh oh there was a question wow but there's two more
00:34:00.960
questions actually all right but lorenzo asks since it's the first night of passover what are y'all's
00:34:06.560
favorite jewish people dave smith oh favorite no fuck this uh yeah i would um big j ari shafir
00:34:17.120
um and george sores well look ari shafir is the uh boy or the boy fucker whose uh room brian was in
00:34:26.640
so i'm gonna go with ari yeah well my favorite jew is any jew that's changed their name to sound
00:34:33.200
genteel any of them anybody any self-hating jew is your favorite good good job yeah you did it
00:34:49.680
robbie the fire nice job bernstein trying to ditch that
00:34:53.600
my wife has a great point there's such thing as favorite jews uh yeah my wife how much would it
00:35:04.080
would have sucked though honestly like jesus dies right and he's like taking all the
00:35:08.320
fucking attention right you're the apostles you're lying up you're getting secondhand puss
00:35:11.840
jesus dies and you're like what up god we just bump the fuck up and then this cocksucker three days
00:35:20.000
later it's like uh i'm back and you're like that's fucking gay what's funny so uh i'll tell
00:35:27.520
this so that my um my grandma has a farm and she bought two ponies for a bunch of blacks no
00:35:36.240
she bought how many how many how many was the trade we call it ponies these days all right no but my my
00:35:41.680
grandma bought a pony for my son because she loves my my it's her great-grandson so she bought her him a
00:35:47.520
pony and then she decided it was a male do you keep it in the bathroom behind you with the door
00:35:52.800
dirty as fuck because it looks like a pony it looks like a pony bathroom for being
00:35:58.000
she bought herself a pony and that's a queen elizabeth that's a queen elizabeth pony if you
00:36:03.360
know what i mean is uh so the pony the first the boy the male is uh is named joseph and so then she
00:36:09.520
bought another pony that was named mary so she had both mary and joseph oh god mary mary was pregnant
00:36:15.760
she found it was pregnant when she got it so like whoa was it a was it a virgin pony bear
00:36:22.400
that could be i don't know but so she got it and um so she was like i'm gonna uh of course like birth
00:36:29.280
and have a new uh new pony so i'll have three ponies we'll come to the night of of the birth
00:36:35.120
the fucking uh birthing pony comes out it's like forehead first and so my grandma cannot get it out and
00:36:41.840
so she pulls it she breaks it next and kills it oh i don't know why are you telling us this
00:36:50.560
so so then she calls the vet over because she's afraid that mary's gonna die so she like uh
00:36:55.440
uh so can i stop this story it's even worse so the wait does the horse come back to life three days
00:37:03.680
no god damn it that was the that was my punchline i actually said that i said like well if it if
00:37:10.720
mary and joseph had a baby this is uh but uh i'm sorry getting there thanks clint for ruining my
00:37:18.400
fucking joke uh i didn't know but did ask though did that happen no no but no you know what happened
00:37:25.360
is that the no i don't know if any of this is true the veterinarian came in and was like i got you bro
00:37:29.920
and gave the um the mother goat uh mary there the uh ron paul stitch oh yeah no but the vet actually
00:37:37.120
had to cut the the baby in half to get it out it's getting more biblical is this story real it's 100
00:37:45.680
real yeah and nobody and nobody stopped it nobody stopped this the solomon the solomon baby cutting
00:37:51.200
situation nobody was like i would it just as a joke i would be like no no we can't cut this baby in
00:37:57.920
half and then they'd be like you're king of this shit farm whatever it was i would i would say that
00:38:04.000
uh yes they did it was already dead but yeah they did have to cut the the baby in half to get it out
00:38:10.240
to save the mother did they make a wish did whoever got that the hat the bigger half get to get to make
00:38:15.280
a wish i can only imagine that the resurrection would be harder if it's cut in half right no dude this
00:38:20.080
is this is even this is even more biblical because here's my thought horses like earthworms so so say
00:38:26.800
say there's like nuclear holocaust and over the next thousand years say two thousand years just
00:38:32.240
throwing a number out there um the horses become sentient and capable of speech and then writing
00:38:38.320
then they write a book and then this story is told in it do you think that that's like do you think maybe
00:38:44.080
that you just witnessed history yeah i mean most likely maybe if you're telling me that it does
00:38:49.840
become history then yeah but i'm writing it down but let's say the let's say these horses in the future
00:38:54.960
are super fucking queer so it would be like this
00:38:59.680
and let's say and let's say they run the horse banks and they run the horse media and they
00:39:19.120
they're like horse puppets behind what if what if one what if one brave horse comes along and he
00:39:25.520
starts to put put to death all the other horses yeah but there's a huge debate over how many yeah
00:39:31.920
how many horses could you really think to these showers these horses are ruining everything and we
00:39:37.120
can't call and we can't call ponies ponies anymore they're little horses yeah yeah how many horses
00:39:43.040
are like cockroaches how many horses can you fit onto one boxcar that's the question
00:39:47.040
oh my god the uh how much how much are you allowed to cut him in half
00:39:53.680
the cutting of the horse in half was actually a test to determine who was the uh true owner of
00:39:58.400
the horse as well we are so far off the beat whole thing is way biblical yeah all right let's get to
00:40:03.200
the uh well should we talk about none of them yeah we should we're going to do that yeah we have one
00:40:10.480
more we have one more one more uh from the mailbag all right so novum says i just got my first tattoo
00:40:18.800
yesterday it's a retarded frog in a straight jacket what kind of tats do y'all want to get i like that
00:40:24.960
i saw him post that it was a pepe uh like where was it at drooling autist tattoo where was it
00:40:31.200
at wait wait what was the first part of the question so wait what i know we had a tattoo part
00:40:34.960
what tattoos do we get it do we want to get i think it was in general i think it was on his leg or
00:40:39.600
something yeah i i want to get a an amy winehouse tattoo and i want to get it like of her just like
00:40:46.480
really high on stage she's inspired me that's what i want to put that maybe like right on my face
00:40:51.680
right here i i have unironically thought about getting a full tattoo sleeve as i've been working
00:40:57.280
out the more i work out the more i want to get like some type of sleeve because i think the guys
00:41:03.920
that have sleeves in the gym and are jacked are fucking cool as shit dude you should get one
00:41:08.480
like you know those those sidewalk paintings where it looks like a deep chasm they get drawn chalk you
00:41:13.680
should get that on your fucking fingertips so it looks like you don't have mid that would be awesome
00:41:19.120
i should i should start i should get a tattoo but it starts here it's my hands and it's just yeah
00:41:25.600
it's like wow he has huge hands but it starts mid forearm yo it'd be cool if you get one of those 3d dicks
00:41:30.560
around uh 3d dicks 3d tattoos around you around your dick so that like it looks like your abdomen
00:41:36.720
goes like caves in so it looks like oh yeah or like your like or like your butthole with like
00:41:41.200
the the cube oh that'd be awesome if you could just have a gaping butthole tattoo
00:41:48.320
all right we're gonna have a competition and someone's gonna have to get a gaping butthole
00:41:51.280
tattoo that'd be rad the infinite butthole yeah yeah you gotta get the infinite butthole
00:41:56.320
and i uh i might be down for that actually somebody somebody suggested that we we play
00:42:02.560
like a game and and we get a tattoo but clint was like no i make too much money i forgot what even
00:42:07.200
the premise was well it's because it was something really fucked up what was it was uh i don't remember
00:42:12.320
what the game was going to be but the loser had to get a pride tattoo i did i did i was trying to
00:42:16.720
i got the guy's name but i didn't want to get this it was a trans it was a trans just right
00:42:20.080
palumbo i just wanted to get that out there wait wait i just forgot i had to literally look up
00:42:31.120
yeah it was it was a trans flag dude i'm not i'm not getting that tattooed on my body for like
00:42:35.120
any amount of money well don't don't lose 10 million i'd do it don't lose well that's what
00:42:39.120
that's why i said if it if it's a game that i think i can fucking just try to like if it's a
00:42:42.640
boxing match let's let's go what if you got what if you had just a vagina tattoo just like the
00:42:46.880
little hole in the front of your cock like a little tiny vagina in the front of my cock it's
00:42:51.760
called well i know well like it's yeah yeah but to get it really like detailed like and maybe like
00:42:56.800
yeah a little hair like make it look really the giant you got a prosthetic clit put on the tip of
00:43:01.760
your dick so you had a little fucking no i know a prosthetic dick above like it would look like it
00:43:05.920
would look like the fucking it would look like if you had a little prosthetic that's the greatest
00:43:12.000
shit ever get a fake prosthetic and put your dick through where the clit would be
00:43:16.880
if you had a tiny if you had a tiny prosthetic clit put on your dick mouth it would look like
00:43:22.640
fucking audrey from little shop of horrors yeah or or an angler fish right it'd look like an angler
00:43:28.800
fish i think if i was going to get a prosthetic clit on on me it would be above it so it would be
00:43:33.440
like right at the the dick root like right above like just like right above it and just be like no
00:43:38.720
it's just my yeah i have a i have a dick clit oh i would be going to the woman's bathroom all
00:43:43.440
the time like listen ladies i don't know what you want to do i'm along in here i thought you were
00:43:49.040
saying you would get a tattoo of a vagina like on your balls so the dick would be the clit is that
00:43:54.000
not what you're saying i thought i thought that could work the dick tat the clit tattoo no i wasn't
00:44:00.480
talking about the tip of your dick no i'm talking prosthetics gentlemen no you know by the way i
00:44:05.280
you want to see something i used to do on stage where i'd stand up i uh i'd go like this
00:44:18.560
and it works even better now with your fucking uh with your
00:44:24.640
there's a little bit of blood just like on a baby i got an impression i got an impression everybody
00:44:29.600
shut up and that's what i would do dick he has a great joke how can you get a prosthetic of something
00:44:33.920
that's not real oh yeah that's a good point i've never seen it i've never found it so it can't be
00:44:43.520
real i think yeah brian just constantly has like a cut on the top of his head just so it looks like a
00:44:48.960
dick hole that's it man all right that's my tattoo if you guys a tattoo tickle right all right all right
00:44:54.720
all right let's let's migrate to fucking dylan milville yeah let's go to this i gotta i gotta piss i'll be
00:45:00.720
right back give me 30 seconds before we go to that uh yeah do you see that nice butt crack on him
00:45:06.160
his fucking shorts were so second ass crack on the show man jeremy uh jeremy todd and now brian
00:45:12.720
mcwilliams um does anybody else uh clint maybe doesn't because he's already fucking rich uh no
00:45:18.880
get that get that tranny off real quick i haven't seen this we'll do it in a second once brian does
00:45:23.360
anybody else like like just daydream about winning the lottery and never actually buy a
00:45:29.600
lottery ticket yeah that's me because i never buy that and i go to sleep at night thinking about the
00:45:34.640
things i would buy and what i would do if i won 500 million dollars immediately i have it all planned
00:45:41.120
out i have everything i want already and i do this every fucking day are you sure you're not a poor black
00:45:47.360
person i i mean they they just they do they buy a lot of tickets that's for days oh yeah that's
00:45:55.520
the difference they buy scratch-offs yeah they buy scratch they don't buy a lot here's an interesting
00:45:59.520
interesting story about me when i was younger and poor i never bought any lot of tickets it was only
00:46:04.640
once i got money that i would like whenever it would hit the uh 100 million mark 100 million mark
00:46:09.280
i'd always go out and get like one or two are you always sure you're gonna win by the way because i
00:46:12.960
always am i'm always i i already have the money like invested in my mind i take i go to the i go
00:46:19.360
to the machine and i and i scan it and i say to myself you're not gonna win this shit and i scan
00:46:24.320
and i look at him and this is not a winner i'm like that's what i thought but if it does say i think
00:46:31.760
about what it'll say like like what will it say like like here's a billion dollars and i just have
00:46:36.480
to take it and look around make sure no one saw it put it in my wallet what do you do with it
00:46:41.600
then do i call somebody do i call the president like what the fuck where do you go you win the
00:46:46.720
powerball like you win like whenever it gets like big like when it like goes over a billion dollars
00:46:50.960
you win it and you get technically like 500 million out of it can you win you win the lottery
00:46:55.280
you look over your shoulder and fucking zelensky's there you're like
00:47:02.080
he's already he's already like 10 and then joe biden's over there like big guy big guy
00:47:10.720
dude it's it's literally ever i go to sleep thinking about this i think about like okay
00:47:14.800
yeah dude i've done it like dude i start thinking about like okay i want a nice like home gym and you
00:47:19.760
know what fuck it i'm gonna get a personal trainer but not like a fucking gym trainer i want to like
00:47:23.760
i want to learn like mma i want to i said the gayest fucking most awful goals ever like i
00:47:29.840
i do that being poor i calculate it into how many bitcoin i can translate it into
00:47:36.480
you cannot hire a personal mma trainer to come every day to your house to teach you
00:47:40.800
like an hour and a half a day like mma like that's not it's just like you know because
00:47:45.200
i can quit my job i have go to the gym and do mma that way you can actually do it we like
00:47:49.440
fight other people not just one dude the whole time i don't know i want like i want to get like
00:47:53.600
a year under my belt of with a personal trainer then go to the gym just then they're just
00:47:57.120
fucking oh so then so then it'd be like this guy it's like fucking caddy shack this guy came
00:48:01.200
out of nowhere he's just wrestling people in mma like what you go to eagle maniacal dick hole he
00:48:06.800
wants to show up at the gym i know he could beat everybody else up every time i see every time i
00:48:11.120
think of this i think of that video of um the transvestites with the dicks and the no no mark
00:48:18.240
zuckerberg have you seen the video of mark zuckerberg like like yeah at his house that's what i think
00:48:22.960
i was like i'm mark zuckerberg i'm 500 million dollars and i could just like and so it's just
00:48:27.520
me i have the shin guards on and i'm fighting like this mma champion and it's just like that's
00:48:32.880
what i think of and i'm like that could be me that's what you think about doing with all that
00:48:38.080
it's hard it's so weird no no i think about my goals i'm gonna buy like i think of like other
00:48:43.600
things that i'll be like appliances like today i was like man if i was like if i won the lottery
00:48:47.920
i'd buy a rice cooker i just buy like oh my god it's twenty dollars yeah all right let's get it
00:48:55.120
i'm sending you a rice cooker right now i 100 thought i was like man if i i won the lottery i
00:49:02.480
would just buy a rice cooker like top of the line rice cook he means a literal he means a literal asian
00:49:07.280
slave exactly build a five-story five-story compound have a bunker have fucking a full arsenal oh full farm
00:49:16.480
and then i would have uh like six different studios to make all of you homos do your own shows and i
00:49:21.040
would only pay you what at like one dollar over what you're getting paid now to if i can move in
00:49:26.720
with me and then you'll have to record yeah i also no i do think about that i thought about like i want
00:49:31.920
like uh i want to my own open range have full kit like every fucking thing i want yeah but i wouldn't
00:49:38.240
hire toad though i've literally i thought this in my head i'm like if i had if i got this money i'm like
00:49:42.800
man i like i hook i hook cole up like i get him a house or something like that i get this one and
00:49:48.160
then i thought about toad and i was like i literally can't give him a dime because he is so
00:49:52.880
fucking self-destructive and i just can't like imagine it's like i'm gonna give a million dollars
00:49:57.680
to all my friends each a million dollars each right i get it like i made 800 800 billion or whatever the
00:50:03.040
fuck it is it's an unfathomable amount of money south park character he's like and it's gone
00:50:08.480
and i gambled it away i'm gonna kill just give it to me and save me i'm just gonna make i'm gonna
00:50:15.280
make a private jet of cocaine and just fly it around everybody over everybody i know his house
00:50:19.920
until eventually i snort my way through the bottom of it and that's it oh i have a really important
00:50:24.160
question this is going to tell us if you're an addict or not say you have a hundred million dollars
00:50:28.160
and this is after text hundred million motherfucking dollars in the bank do you still gamble elizabeth
00:50:34.320
just said toad would just use it for bets that's yeah she just yeah sorry are you asking toad or the
00:50:39.680
group no no listen the answer is yes the answer is yes but i wouldn't be betting more than i would
00:50:46.560
be otherwise you know what i mean oh shit you're not bullshit let's let's go to let's go to the
00:50:52.320
fucking bud light tranny let's go no no this is why are you lying you're just lying through your teeth
00:50:57.760
you would be barclay you'd have a hundred million dollars in the bank you would be jordan betting
00:51:02.560
you'd be like you would go out to like play golf and you'd be like all right dude with that much
00:51:07.280
with that much money toad would be fucking betting body parts i guarantee yeah toad would be telling
00:51:11.920
toad would be telling stories on the show and he'd be like if you guys don't laugh i'll pay you 10 grand
00:51:16.640
like he would be betting like that i i it would get so much he would know he would do like what drake
00:51:22.640
does where drake bets like three million or some shit like like he's the worst drake's an idiot
00:51:27.680
yeah and he like literally loses every time i i it would oh yeah he he told just buys
00:51:34.800
every literally every only fans every 100 million dollars would you buy a bitch would you buy a
00:51:39.760
bitch for real i'd buy a fucking harem all right all right now we're talking i don't i don't i don't
00:51:44.800
fault you that i'm not gonna fuck them though not if i'm married they just kind of spit around
00:51:51.600
toad would be like andrew tate with all these bitches and like this one mansion but never
00:51:55.040
fuck any of them but like which is like that'd be so painful he's like sad to me ladies that's not
00:52:00.960
chad why do you guys always subscribe toad as being a chad when he's not being a chad if if you
00:52:04.960
buy a harem and you have them all at your house and then you just don't touch them ever that's pretty
00:52:10.800
chad actually here's how we go here's how we go he's got this whole arm of beautiful
00:52:14.080
all right ladies i have i wrote a a fan fiction of tower gang you know everybody's got a laugh and
00:52:22.240
all the my jokes they don't have to fake orgasms they have to fake laughs
00:52:37.440
let's go let's go i did it man i do i will say though it is funny that as like a middle class
00:52:44.000
poor to middle class person not poor but whatever like my no poor poor cole you're talking about
00:52:50.560
buying a rice cooker what do you what do you mean my fantasies are what like a poor person would
00:52:55.840
imagine like a rich person doing like my thing was like i just want to buy a pool like a nice pool
00:53:00.640
like just have a pool just to swim in every morning and then like or like weird joe rogan
00:53:05.600
shit is like i want a sauna and i want a a cold plunge that's what i want like i just just so
00:53:12.240
and not to be and not to have to work all day i could just like eight hours a day just not to
00:53:16.000
worry about work so i just do like other random shit i want to do i would start a chat with my like
00:53:21.200
uh with like a twitch live stream of playing video games sorry here's how you know here's
00:53:27.040
how is he from a poor family how is he from a poor family giving him plasma and he's got a
00:53:31.680
fucking grandma that's giving him ponies what the fuck yeah i think i said this but my grandparents
00:53:37.360
did win a lawsuit against uh um the tobacco industry and they're just blowing i thought you're gonna say
00:53:44.960
they won a lawsuit against united pony saws what happened i need to know that story uh
00:53:52.880
apparently my great grandmother worked in the tobacco industry and she got cancer and so like
00:53:59.040
and apparently like she smoked a lot too but she got
00:54:03.680
she got cancer and died and so the family sued on her behalf and won like six million dollars
00:54:09.600
wait this is your family and you had to give plasma yeah it was after i was out of college already
00:54:14.880
that they oh so you're like rich now your family's no my my grandma bought a farm so like and but
00:54:20.960
she bought the farm she's rich no she but there was six children too so this bitch still got pony
00:54:25.840
money laying around she ain't broke between six people they bought a farm they paid off all of their
00:54:30.960
like uh she's got virgin pony all right cole here's what you do dude as soon as grandma goes senile
00:54:38.080
you get in there and you fuck the shit out of her my grandma and pretend you're her
00:54:44.720
boyfriend so she leaves all that money to you and cuts the rest of the family yeah that's that's
00:54:48.240
my would you would you fuck your grandmother for six million dollars
00:54:54.960
hello to me i don't know what's funny is my so uh i just love how cole always what's funny
00:55:08.560
my grandmother already tried to fuck me once but i said i asked her i stopped her and i said are you
00:55:13.520
senile and she said no so i held off the best part of his stories is that they're always so unassuming
00:55:20.080
and i'm like as he's telling them like this is just gold but he's like too dumb to bring this in
00:55:27.120
it's such a great point because every time toad starts the story he goes no guys i promise you
00:55:30.640
this is funny and it never is cole on the other hand starts to tell these completely insane stories
00:55:35.200
in a very like mundane fashion so expectations are low and then he fucking i'll tell you there's
00:55:40.720
even a better part of this so i have a great aunt so my my grandma it's a better part
00:55:45.280
my grandma's sister is like technically retarded like and so she was
00:55:53.040
she was a part of the lawsuit so she got supposed to technically retarded what does that
00:55:57.760
hey hey and your and your honor we've also got a retarded part of the lawsuit
00:56:02.560
wait wait did she become retarded from secondhand smoke
00:56:06.960
your honor we have a technical retard here that would also like
00:56:21.600
she has like a mind of like a 12 year old like a 10 to 12 like that's where like she like stopped
00:56:26.000
like there and so she's like 60 years old or whatever all right that just seems like a family
00:56:32.400
trait unless retarded no but um so she was a part of the lawsuit and so she got a million dollars but
00:56:39.360
because like my grandma takes care of her like they just you know i will represent myself in this lawsuit
00:56:47.440
like they say that only a fool has hurt them and has the lawyer
00:56:58.560
like she is like a fucking hater dude like she is so annoying man she's like
00:57:02.640
like i i i can't stand my my great aunt man she's like she'll come like every time we see her she
00:57:16.160
where are you coming from are you coming from the gym what did you bet today
00:57:27.200
i might i might be retarded but i don't have to cook my own rice
00:57:40.240
oh i bet that is your son with his red hair you faggot
00:57:48.560
oh my god i think i think the best part of it though is that my grandma was like
00:57:56.560
all right she gets the money she gets like a million but because like she's like half
00:58:00.800
she's technically yeah she was like i'll just take her and i'll take care of her and i'll just take
00:58:05.040
this extra million i swear to god that's that's what happened so she's like wow
00:58:09.680
i just take care of her and all she wants to do is literally coloring books and like arts and crafts
00:58:16.000
i swear to god so she's just like she's 60 doing coloring books oh yeah dude no that's what i'm saying
00:58:21.440
that's what she gives me every time we come over she's just like i i colored you something new it
00:58:25.920
like gives me like i like that she i like that she's like look is down on you like she's retarded
00:58:33.920
she's probably she's probably not coloring books she just gives you the color
00:58:38.640
she thinks you're more retarded than she's clowning she's clowning on you actually
00:58:42.720
she she's like that we thought cole's coming over i'm gonna give him another book
00:58:49.840
i hope he doesn't i hope he doesn't eat the paste like last time
00:58:53.920
what happened was uh when when she was born uh cole's great grandmother or whenever uh was
00:58:58.560
delivering her and broke her neck and that's why
00:59:00.720
like it is to me it was just like yeah we'll get your million we just have to take care of you for
00:59:10.240
the rest of your life and the the ironic thing is she's gonna outlive us all like she is like
00:59:14.720
she is 100 gonna be like 110 years old no and just still
00:59:18.800
i don't know this woman how much i would love it look a retarded eulogy over all of your
00:59:29.680
corpses would be amazing another one fights the dust
00:59:40.320
she's a retarded millionaire it's like when she just
00:59:43.280
and all she wants is like burgers and no she's like go to sonic and get a shake i love i love
00:59:51.040
the idea she's kaiser so zang all of you she's kaiser so zang you i love cheers
00:59:56.240
of a of a white trash trailer park person winning a million dollars and then just getting like
01:00:01.520
the biggest double wide in the park and just staying there by the way that's all lottery winners
01:00:07.360
every lottery winner is that that's that's cold all right all right i gotta get i'll get a rice
01:00:14.000
cooker i don't want i would get i get a brand new septic system
01:00:20.000
i'm having a one i've had an amazing time i don't want to leave in 15 minutes but i have to
01:00:24.960
because my wife will kill me no i understand if you want to do dylan mulaney's shit i'll i got 15
01:00:30.880
minutes left until i turn into a pumpkin wait wait bring your wife i don't care i want to
01:00:35.280
i want to talk with her why is she making you leave because i got i got a a seventh month old
01:00:40.640
baby and a three-year-old gotta do it yeah they'll be all right they'll be fine come on
01:00:44.720
gotta do it man no maybe i maybe i'll go and come back depending how long you guys go though
01:00:50.400
all right let's check this out bang by the way hold on pause it you know i know dylan
01:00:55.360
milvady is a dude look at it what chick parts their hair like that no no it the only is the girl
01:01:01.760
from dodgeball the uh russian from dodgeball that's yeah that's right yeah with the unicorn
01:01:08.080
totally and also make sure you mute it make sure you mute it or this will get uh kicked off oh yeah
01:01:14.720
true it's 100 the jawline that's how you know like no woman has that look at that it's also the seven
01:01:21.600
o'clock shadow that's fucking oh yeah it is wait wait clint why why will this get us kicked off just
01:01:29.760
fucking trust me dude you can't have music music is like the one thing oh no it's a copyright yeah
01:01:34.720
i mean we don't monetize anyway so it wouldn't matter but whatever youtube still doesn't give
01:01:38.400
like there's no reason to draw attention to this show no no you know what i'm gonna fight with you
01:01:43.040
tooth and nail over this all right this dumb shit jesus just go ahead and play
01:01:48.800
i god all right all right oh my god but they're gonna play the music what i don't understand is
01:01:56.240
like why is it wearing um it why is it wearing a bathing suit yeah it has it's like i was wearing
01:02:04.400
a baby hiding yeah what are you hiding exactly and yeah a bathing suit in the bathtub you know what
01:02:10.880
there's nothing there there's it's i have bigger tits than the than the shemale does i definitely like
01:02:16.320
it's because it thinks it's a she it has to i'm gonna be like guys every time i watch this person
01:02:22.160
do anything i just see pure pain like like pure agony that's what i see behind that that face i'm
01:02:29.120
just like you are in agony but why do you think so many of them off themselves well but that's the
01:02:34.400
thing it's like the funniest part is like it's uh so as a tranny it's like going against the norms
01:02:41.520
as a tranny it's going against gender norms but it's also enforcing gender norms of wearing a uh
01:02:48.000
like a top too yeah right yeah like i i have to it's like as as a woman i definitely need to wear it
01:02:55.920
to not show my nipples yeah right do you do you think do you think this is just grifting
01:03:02.720
which i do 100 yeah i don't i don't believe for a second and that's what pisses me off
01:03:07.760
this motherfucker not for a second is trying to really be a woman it's a grift 100 because it's
01:03:13.680
this is a clown caricature of womanhood look at look which makes me which which you can see it
01:03:20.080
yeah which makes the question would you would you do this grift if you were also uh like yeah
01:03:27.520
sponsored by nike yeah mud light and tampax yeah i mean if i don't have to get my dick chopped off
01:03:34.720
which he's not no then that's the thing yeah he beat us to the punch his managers are they're they
01:03:42.320
must be right wing and they understand esg and they're just marketing this bullshit to any brand
01:03:48.080
that hasn't like fulfilled their quality yet that is it's genius absolutely this is like getting into
01:03:53.520
like bitcoin like when it was that one cent of bitcoin it's like yeah this is like getting into
01:03:59.920
microsoft whenever bill gates is still in his garage yeah anybody out there that wants to make
01:04:05.440
billions all right this this one really bought it yeah you gotta gotta get into esg early man
01:04:11.120
the sports bra you mean the nike sports bra look at the body of this thing the size of his feet
01:04:17.680
dude i'll uh it has by the way the last time i saw this it was trying to find a fucking ring a hobbit stole
01:04:23.040
it does have like he has like nice like uh proportions it'd be a great like volleyball
01:04:31.440
what no what arms he has some long ass arms like yeah but he's not he's not tall he's shorter than
01:04:39.280
the bush in the background the bushes are that tall wait way too thin you know what it reminds me of
01:04:43.680
i bet hello my baby hello my darling hello yeah like the skinny alien in space ball i can see
01:04:51.440
i can see what cole is saying though like this person if if he took the gym seriously he has the
01:04:56.240
frame to put on some like good mask dude that's what they said about me and look skinny
01:05:04.800
this is like it's like a leah thomas athlete this is just like if if he put his mind to it he could
01:05:10.800
become the greatest woman like uh athlete ever or something look at the eyes body i guarantee you
01:05:18.640
every video this fucker's ever made high as shit on cocaine oh yeah look how crazy yeah this yeah
01:05:28.000
look at the eyes well ss ssr eyes are better than cocaine that's what i'll say
01:05:34.320
oh yeah who who is this person really like was was dylan famous like in the nine that's what i was
01:05:40.560
about to ask if he she is a psyop because this came out of nowhere yeah exactly like one year ago
01:05:48.000
one year ago that's when that's when they transitioned to a girl like a man transitioned
01:05:53.760
to a girl i want to make sure you hear what i'm saying he he very specifically categorizes himself
01:05:58.480
as a girl repeatedly it's fucking it's crazy shit not a woman no shit oh we're watching prices right
01:06:04.960
now all right wait what he was that he was on prices right are you fucking kidding me come on
01:06:10.480
harry i thought you were a good libertarian oh that's a boy oh this is back when he was a dude
01:06:15.360
oh no that's a good looking dude like that's a look look look how much much more but he had so
01:06:21.760
much more muscle on him too no he still stands gay wait he doesn't he's definitely okay he's just
01:06:27.360
he's a gay man that's you know he's very gay i mean i mean those genes are gay as hell he's a gay
01:06:34.960
man it's okay uh we're gonna spin the wheel right after this oh he's excited about the foosball table
01:06:47.120
did did you notice how the game that he played was
01:06:49.600
wait a second did prices right get away from like the women as like like using yeah they
01:06:55.200
have male models oh wow look at this look at this muscular man in the back he's clapping he's like this
01:07:02.400
fucking fruit ball just missed the god is how tight is is he a super is he the superhero costume
01:07:10.240
shirts are tight they just grab a guy from the nearest like high rise next door just like a lawyer
01:07:16.160
just like hey we need a guy just in a suit and tie just come on this is so crazy you know what the
01:07:23.440
good news is look i'm not here's the good news i'm not transphobic i would have beat the
01:07:28.720
shit out of him here too yeah like i hate this person i hate him oh yeah it's terrible
01:07:36.800
do you think do you think he is once uh well two two questions do you think he has once played with
01:07:42.000
any of those uh no clint no and two do you think he shoved that uh uh i have another question do you
01:07:52.080
do you think that was the video that convinced the cia or whoever's you know groomed him to become
01:07:57.200
they're like this dude that this dude has it i yeah you think you should own guns clint oh he's
01:08:04.080
dude you're telling me you don't want him to own a gun can't shoot yourself with that can't shoot
01:08:13.120
i mean do you think he's a danger to i hope it's i hope it's 60 because that would just be the
01:08:18.240
percentage of the oh no is it 40 percent oh wait wait wait pause it pause it pause it
01:08:23.760
can we pitch can we pitch a new game show do you see a shirt go back 10 seconds can we pitch a new
01:08:42.080
dressed in a striped shirt i love that brian was like like i'm so progressive that i would beat this
01:08:47.520
dude even when it wasn't trans bashing i would i would bash him when he was just a game just when
01:08:52.640
he was gay i'd punch him in the face yeah we're just bashing the faggots did you notice the game
01:08:56.960
that he played was pick a pair though which is now what he's doing up for deciding what his tits are
01:09:01.920
gonna be honestly this dude doesn't he doesn't cause any emotion in me like in this condition now but
01:09:06.960
like fast forward a year and it's just like it's a horror show to me that's how i feel
01:09:11.840
it is it's sickening it's insane it's it's not only just i'm gay and this is embarrassing for me
01:09:20.400
but it's how awful he like who in the right mind could watch the shit he puts out and not think that
01:09:28.480
this fucking guy is a joke like and just insulting that's who that's anybody that's why i think this
01:09:34.880
is a psyop there's no way it comes out of nowhere but all right so so here's here's the
01:09:40.240
i obviously i believe this is an esg thing that this is he he's getting all these sponsorships but
01:09:45.920
maggie keeps keeps keeps tweeting it out that she thinks uh basically like the the upside of getting
01:09:52.160
the trans uh you know allies to go out and buy bud light will offset the losses i don't buy that i don't
01:09:58.720
know no maggie the one that goes to church with the with the tranny oh i don't know if she goes to
01:10:05.040
church i don't i don't know but yeah no these people drink beer this is like it doesn't make any
01:10:09.760
sense monetarily look i here's how i'll watch this if they televise or on youtube tranny case races
01:10:17.840
i'll watch i'm in that's the only amount of beer you can't drink on all that medication though all
01:10:25.760
right all right after a certain amount of beers do you think either they just die or they just cut
01:10:30.480
they just admit like this is like i my life is a mess i hate myself like this is all just like a
01:10:36.320
bug because my my parents like because i don't love my dad did you see the pictures of the this
01:10:42.080
is kind of dark it's not really funny you guys can turn it funny somehow um there's pictures of
01:10:46.720
doctors with their arms around young women that are shirtless because they've had their uh mastectomy
01:10:51.520
yeah the zipper but but then you can see on their arms there's there's cut marks so like these kids
01:10:56.960
these kids have been cutting themselves before they ever did these doctors or these doctors are
01:11:01.120
fucking so drunk doing the surgery 8 500 subscribers yeah i have more subscribers yeah this is this is
01:11:06.800
what that's what i'm saying this is a sign clint it's not a real like grassroots it's it's dickless
01:11:13.440
it's definitely not but clint you know you know why those uh wait can we watch the christmas special
01:11:18.480
no clint you know why those uh female to male uh trannies you know what you know why they have all
01:11:23.520
those uh scratch marks all over their arms the cut marks it's because they're trying to cut the skin off of
01:11:28.320
their arm to make a neo penis out of it there you go there you go you turned it funny thanks buddy
01:11:36.720
they need to make a new silence of the lambs where billy bob is just like yeah i need a lot of skin
01:11:42.400
for my neo penis it puts the lotion in my vaginal canal where it gets the hose again hey make sure
01:11:51.920
you really lotion off that dick because i'm going to use that for the world's longest neo penis
01:11:58.320
i i just really don't understand like imagine having a son and then he does this
01:12:04.720
shit and then you have to like deal with that i've got i've got two daughters so i just got to
01:12:12.160
hope one of them pops the dick at some point yeah yeah well stop this is the this is the day and age
01:12:16.320
like your son this might be your son this might happen and like how are you prepared to deal with
01:12:21.040
that he might be someone's son not my son yeah i'll be somewhere else and now we go live to dylan
01:12:40.160
i'm honestly well it looks like we're gonna lie to dylan milvaney's father looks like he might be
01:12:44.400
slowly falling asleep in a bathtub oh wait what a nice red bath bomb what's he doing with that
01:12:51.360
toaster oh no oh oh that warm water feels good it looks like he's got some pills he's got heartburn
01:12:56.160
oh he just got home from work and he closed his garage door and he's just staying there for a
01:12:59.840
little bit wait and he's and he's unloading a shotgun into his mouth this seems excessive
01:13:04.000
dylan milvaney's father's just making youtube well dylan milvaney's father nuts he's just walking
01:13:10.880
towards a large group of police officers waving a gun and oh no wait wait wait wait what if the
01:13:17.120
what if top's right and then the videos of himself getting kicked to the nuts what if that's his father
01:13:24.240
oh yeah the one that did the shooting you don't want to say he has two sons and they're both gay
01:13:34.000
yes and he's just he's just up there going one of my at least he's not a faggot he's just one of
01:13:39.200
my one of my kids he shot up shot up a gay club but i don't think he's gay yet my my other son he's
01:13:44.160
sponsored by course so that's that's pretty cool funny it's like because the the tranny one is just
01:13:50.720
like you always love my brother the best because he shot up those faggots
01:13:53.680
and he's like yeah and i wish you were at that club that day oh my god i wish you turned on
01:14:03.840
yourself son i don't see how this show lasts another day and on that note i will bid you adieu
01:14:11.360
i gotta put my kids down i'll see how late you if you guys got seven hours that's not a good thing
01:14:15.680
to say after we just talked about i gotta put my kids down i i see i see the traits
01:14:22.480
subscribe to lines of liberty thank you so much brian lines of liberty yeah thank you
01:14:28.560
and the boring podcast that's right all right guys thanks for having this
01:14:32.800
this is fucking awesome apologies to leave over this hope they hope to be back
01:14:37.520
thanks for coming on man wow can we pull up the video of the uh it's crazy lines hit because i feel
01:14:43.360
like i need to like the palate cleanser lions of liberty is still on i thought that that thing
01:14:47.520
died when mark left but no and that's cool yeah they have uh they have a network man of multiple
01:14:53.360
different shows so it lives on yeah pretty cool pretty cool and clinton uh answer to your uh price
01:15:00.240
is right and that guy that guy that just left he was on that show
01:15:06.160
yes yeah him the guy that just left he got fired from the nfl
01:15:09.600
clint uh price is right they uh they had to go for gender equality so they have female and male
01:15:16.720
models now and the female models no longer wear swimsuits at any point oh that see that that
01:15:22.400
that show needs to die all right we need sound on this one for sure no just the now it's just the uh
01:15:28.320
the max max max max max max max max so what is this one the clint you you just just watch just just
01:15:34.480
just embrace why are you hitting me she hit it three times hey six foot apart
01:16:13.680
i love i love this and most of my saying the n-word
01:16:16.480
like what if she goes for the second slap go to the second slap like he slapped it
01:16:21.120
comment it looks like he slapped like car keys out of her head or something look at this i don't
01:16:25.440
understand no go back a little more a little more
01:16:37.680
like right over here yeah look she slaps his motherfucking glasses off
01:16:42.160
oh yeah what was that's her glasses that's her glasses
01:16:44.720
glasses oh those are glasses yeah yeah yeah jesus we'll see that that's a good move in a fight
01:16:49.760
because then you blind her it is insane how uh just just how confident white women are to just
01:16:58.720
do this shit in public and be like i'm just gonna hit a black man just gonna fucking hit him just like
01:17:03.840
like i have if you're gonna if you're gonna if you're gonna buck up to somebody don't do it to a
01:17:08.720
black not a good idea no no honestly don't do i think what would be the okay white guys would take
01:17:15.120
that shit i bet you 85 of white men would take it he's right because when i think of a white guy
01:17:21.040
getting hit in a store i think of like a fucking like 22 year old male guy like and he would just
01:17:26.720
punch back i think i don't know i think of dylan mulvaney the reason black people black men punch
01:17:33.200
white woman back is because they don't even see them as like the same thing they see them as like
01:17:38.400
correctly they see them as a hole they're like i can fuck that and but they don't they don't see
01:17:43.760
the only only black only the fat white ones they say it's like it's like that's a hole that i could
01:17:48.640
fuck and i want to but the smaller ones i don't look at this contact dude just what is that like a
01:17:55.280
store scanner what is that oh yeah what oh it looks like a pistol whip oh does he work there oh that's
01:18:01.600
even no is that a it does that's definitely a store that's a scanner i think it's a pricing gun
01:18:06.560
no that's crazy he works he just he hit that bitch with the dollar 99
01:18:12.720
that's right that's how much you're worth he's like you on sale bitch
01:18:24.240
pussy bitch it's up for this bitch yeah it's a fire sale because you have gonorrhea
01:18:30.800
the sound that that thing made when it hit her in the head it's it's funny how like if you watch it
01:18:34.960
from the beginning i've watched this a number of times because it's just i'm a fan of it but
01:18:38.880
like he went from like like a soft slap to then like he slapped car keys out of her head somehow
01:18:43.840
and then he hit it with this shit it's just like he keeps escalating the violence
01:18:48.960
of like and you know what good on him man he's screwed up rebellion i feel you doug like i don't
01:18:54.160
know i don't know why it's it's something about just like recourse just like a like we all like
01:19:00.160
as a society want to like we we know we can't do it but we love to be honest i feel the same
01:19:05.440
does yo i feel the same way when i see a drunk dude that's talking shit and he gets the fucking
01:19:09.760
taste smacked out of his mouth like i like that shit i like it when people that are in the wrong
01:19:14.240
get fucked up what was this about it for because why was that why were those chips on the ground
01:19:18.640
she got up in his face i don't know how because there's something about because there's no reason
01:19:22.400
that chips those chips should be like what's what started this did she i'm guessing like i'm guessing
01:19:30.480
yeah why they're that's a solid right by the way are those oh he got it yeah she she did she came
01:19:35.360
with like some weak ass shit watch her hair watch her hair oh that's a solid right yeah that's a
01:19:40.560
solid right when it makes a hole in the back of her head you can actually see the shock waves of his
01:19:46.560
punch going through by the way uh or so's wife beater doesn't have a wife
01:19:56.160
that's right uh i dude this uh does it surprise you at all though the that the uh black man is
01:20:02.960
very proficient in pistol whipping and wielding a gun wow look at that he hits her with such a
01:20:10.000
a menagerie of shots too because he gets you at the straight right and then he hits her with the
01:20:13.920
the right hand slap and then he grabs the look and he was like right oh oh he grabs it oh he
01:20:19.760
grabbed it from the from the front yeah yeah yeah fucking macgyver of like beating up white women
01:20:26.640
he didn't grab his hand he was putting down he was like i gotta put down he's got an escalation
01:20:31.920
process it's like it's like written down he's like first open hand slap he had he had the skinner's
01:20:37.360
hand he put down his bag of groceries he was like hold on i gotta i gotta put this down because
01:20:42.160
he's like no i gotta give this the business now yeah go back go back because hold on there's
01:20:46.400
his bag he's got the bag he puts it down he's like he's like oh oh you want switches the scanner
01:20:50.880
to his other hand he was like this is my strong hand it's my man yeah definitely yeah with the right
01:20:58.160
hook right there oh you thought i was gonna hit you with my off hand bitch i like how she's so concussed
01:21:05.040
she's like why you hit me he's like well you hit me i think you already forgot that cte happened in
01:21:10.880
10 seconds bitch uh why are you hitting me though even if she didn't hit him first i think this is
01:21:16.400
justified on his part you bitch ass bitch nigga bitch she's like just confused my favorite part
01:21:24.720
about that is because that's exactly how every high school kid reacts like in like when they're
01:21:28.720
about to get into a fight but it's usually a guy she goes straight like white dude 16 year old
01:21:33.440
yeah but why is he trying to tell on him why is there like a random black footprint on the floor
01:21:38.800
there you see that that's what i there's a lot of things that happening because i don't understand
01:21:43.280
why the chips are already on the floor okay so this is a 7-eleven it must have gotten into some kind
01:21:47.520
of fight right before yeah there's there there's there's three that's her sunglasses bro oh it is
01:21:52.800
her sunglasses that's true yeah that's her sunglasses if you go back she must have had it on top of her
01:21:57.760
head and he smacked it off her that was a good night time why why is this why is this
01:22:01.600
bitch walking around with sunshades at night she thinks she cool no yeah it was it is i just i i
01:22:07.280
i'm oh there they are they just fucking fall right little little dicky i sent a video in the group chat
01:22:12.000
of uh more people who deserved it some more justified stuff i don't know i don't know if this is pulled
01:22:17.120
up here but i really like this video and it yeah this is thrilling continue i love it i have a boner
01:22:23.200
from it and for the record not a fan of women actually just getting hit for no reason but when you
01:22:27.520
deserve it you deserve it most of the time reasons can be justified you can justify almost any reason
01:22:33.120
though they can yeah i mean if someone hits you in the face that's a good reason yeah it's definitely
01:22:38.720
a good reason this makes me want to go to a 7-eleven by the way just because i don't know what i might
01:22:42.880
get into when i go there maybe i'll get maybe i'll get to justifiably hit a woman so here's the
01:22:48.240
weird thing here's the weird thing though that chick had she done that to me i probably would have
01:22:52.720
shoved her but because she's so like off balance it probably would have injured her more so is it
01:22:56.960
actually better to just jab her in the face just a just a quick jab just just a just a just a distance
01:23:03.840
tester yeah exactly this store scanner shit is funny too it's just like oh man i love it all right go
01:23:12.080
ahead why he must be a worker because there's no because he had why unless he's stealing that
01:23:16.880
maybe he's stealing that i don't know because he was stopping him from stealing maybe he maybe
01:23:20.800
she's in the right and he was just being black and just stealing shit yeah that's right like you
01:23:27.280
can't do that sir he was he was just being black he's scumbag go ahead and hit play dude
01:23:49.280
fuck around and find out look at this dude he's like you're gonna kick my car word
01:23:53.680
there you go bam bam bam is the dude kicking is he wearing like a cowl like is he hiding his face
01:23:59.440
the guy who's kicking the truck i don't i don't know he's just that black he's just black
01:24:05.120
he's just a black man bro that is so quick to like be like all right i'm going to gun like
01:24:10.960
he's my truck dead yeah and this other dude is is latino i think i don't know also how
01:24:17.520
fucking uh you are confident uh where you can shoot in a gas station
01:24:24.880
i'm gonna be honest with you i think that dude will go to jail for that because he's not being
01:24:28.160
attacked and he could have drawn and told him to to go yeah yeah he will oh he'll he'll go to jail
01:24:33.120
but my stance i was i was sort of arguing with adam fitzgerald and and adam's like well you know
01:24:38.640
the nap says and i don't care about that i think it's a good standard to set that like hey you're
01:24:44.240
doing this dumb shit in as in our society that guy just put two in you for like basically no reason
01:24:49.920
act right everybody put everybody on notice that is a good let's just be like listen like what are
01:24:55.280
you doing what are you why are you kicking this guy's car i love the thought that everybody's
01:25:00.000
walking around with like a hair trigger just being like ready to be like but like get bumped into be
01:25:04.480
like motherfucker everybody's so polite i wish you would this is why you have to have standards of
01:25:13.200
escalation because otherwise it does get to be minor indiscretions that end up yeah the escalation
01:25:17.760
process yeah but i felt like that last black dude his standards of escalation were like two
01:25:22.560
like i mean they were like you think he should have pulled a gun right away possibly the third
01:25:27.200
time i mean the store scanner that's ridiculous like the first one like you give a slap and then
01:25:32.640
the like a flower honestly i think oh it's after you after you hit her with the with the price scanner
01:25:38.320
and then she comes back and it was just being faced as fuck do we know what happened to lead up to this
01:25:46.080
like why was the guy kicking the truck look look honestly if you kick my vehicle it doesn't matter what
01:25:50.640
i've done you're in the wrong yeah oh yeah you also have a corvette so like yeah
01:25:56.880
that's that's why i take it seriously dude someone like i i could see someone bumping into
01:26:01.120
like accidentally i'm like oh yeah maybe you didn't hurt some but then say it is done opened up the
01:26:06.320
motherfucker just okay rules on a guy just be like get the fuck away from my car
01:26:12.160
dude i i you kick my bronco man i'm gonna lay you out yeah just like oj did that's actually what
01:26:19.600
uh his wife did that's right exactly yeah god that's why he did it but again i think the most
01:26:25.680
confident thing is pulling out a gun at a get like at the pumps i mean like yo in brazil in brazil
01:26:30.560
they don't play man you could see a lot of videos like that like brazil there's a lot of the
01:26:35.200
fucking gun violence there they said it's brazil that dude was white as fuck no that makes perfect
01:26:39.920
sense that makes perfect sense because there's like a lot of fucking really light skin and then really
01:26:43.040
dark no light skin light skin is different than white that dude's not white yeah they were like
01:26:48.720
lights in spanish and then ducks in spanish yeah exactly that's that's why she she's actually
01:26:54.080
she's doing only fans so she can pay me back for the damage oh man i'd be seeing some of this
01:26:58.880
stuff clint and i'm like i'm just gonna keep scrolling i don't know what's what did you do there
01:27:05.040
oh yeah i love that this this crazy bitch looks exactly like cole's wife all right go ahead
01:27:09.280
all right i'm never gonna be hanging out with clint again it's a compliment she's pretty
01:27:19.840
and it went fine and i'm gonna tell you why it is not okay for men to approach us in our dreams
01:27:25.920
so this guy i am alone with my son by myself oh my husband's doing a live stream with his
01:27:36.400
friends i understand that i don't know why in the hell he was approaching me or what he was trying
01:27:42.240
to do and before he was trying to steal her baby 30 feet from him he said excuse me ma'am and i
01:27:47.840
turned around and i literally yelled at him and i said don't you dream about anyone else
01:27:57.360
immediately started now now i gotta wash these clothes theoretically in my dreams
01:28:09.280
i'm not allowed to dream like he started cussing and yelling like what's your problem and i and i
01:28:13.440
looked at him and he started he actually then crossed a couple cars down from my car he goes
01:28:18.400
back to sleep he didn't come anywhere near me he crossed a couple cars down from my car and was like
01:28:22.480
what's continuing to cuss and say what's your problem and i say you do not approach women in
01:28:27.360
a parking lot i just kept saying do not approach you do not approach women in a parking lot like
01:28:32.640
yelling it no male no male should ever approach a woman in a parking lot yo what girl what girl was
01:28:39.040
it that agreed with this there was a girl that we followed and if a male does approach you you need
01:28:42.800
to turn around and use the strongest all right so i was thrown off because it was it was april 1st
01:28:47.040
it was uh april fools so i didn't know if she was playing but that was that was real
01:28:51.200
tiktok name checks out living transparently she's just living at like she's just saying what every
01:28:56.400
white woman like thinks like it's like in their head like i'm not i don't know man i think this
01:29:01.840
i know i know we all hate white women here but i don't think most white women are white women
01:29:05.680
they're all in the chat are you guys like baseline this scared all the time i need to know
01:29:10.800
it's like it's not a good way to be it was hannah that said it i remember no she yeah she said
01:29:15.280
something like yeah you should never approach us it's going through this timeline i'm already getting
01:29:21.200
like gay aids is there a hetero version to make sure we're clear about this in that in her retelling
01:29:30.640
the dude never got within 20 feet of her no yeah and she doesn't even know what he was saying
01:29:36.400
yeah and he's just like you're crazy what are you doing hey lady you drop something back here
01:29:42.320
i don't even think he was approaching her at all he was just a man that was like within
01:29:49.440
eyes you are not approaching me he's like he's she's going into the store he's coming out or vice
01:29:55.600
versa and they're like they have to pass i think he's 20 feet away and she's just like turn the
01:29:59.840
fuck around i think it's man that's crazy behavior we need to push back in the like as hard as we can
01:30:05.840
the other way yeah great first i was gonna say just start chasing random women in the parking lot
01:30:17.440
she says no man should ever approach a woman in a parking lot period there is absolutely nothing
01:30:22.560
you need from us to warrant if you were just saying how she was that much use a phone whatever go find
01:30:26.800
a man to ask yeah i responded to this and i was like so as your uber driver should i just never pick
01:30:31.600
you up this one this one does really bewilder me i don't know i don't get it no one should ever
01:30:38.400
approach a man while the football is on period don't don't go to the comments i don't want to see
01:30:42.880
the comments they're all just it's all just faggy guys and well yeah brad palumbo does the problem
01:30:49.680
it's like people are in the comments are saying that women should get guns but the problem is i'm
01:30:53.280
thinking if this woman had a gun she would have shot that guy yeah yeah just turned around and just
01:30:58.000
fucking shot him for doing nothing but like i would rather a trans man have guns and then
01:31:04.080
that's true because they're the biologically male they're at least like you know capable yeah
01:31:12.960
the other part is like can a woman actually pull the trigger of this gun
01:31:15.680
we should we should all get like women should only get that's like you got this do you
01:31:21.840
says i was going to tell you about the guy i saw hiding in your back seat but sounds like you got
01:31:25.360
this sis i i i i would like to think like instead of giving like we can give women guns but make all
01:31:31.920
the like the trigger pull like 50 pounds and so it's like really so they just can't pull it's like
01:31:37.120
it's like let me let me just say real quick too this this chick is talking middle of the day
01:31:42.640
the sun is up and she's trembling like a fucking leaf it's daytime and homeboy doesn't get within
01:31:47.360
20 feet this is such bizarre like it's just happened and she had to go and sit down and
01:31:52.640
make a tick tock about it and she has her son there and she's supposed to be taking care of him
01:31:57.600
nope i gotta tick tock this she shouldn't have a gun or and she shouldn't be able to vote these
01:32:01.600
people vote that's what's wild shit again that's done that son will will grow up a fag
01:32:07.280
yeah i don't want to get political but think about the kind of like the mental anguish that a guy
01:32:13.680
just like walking next to you in a parking lot gives you and then the mental anguish that like
01:32:17.760
the political elite actually give you by like i don't know having some trans guy sponsored by but
01:32:23.040
like these people are so manipulated it's they should not be able to vote someone did ask if it was a
01:32:28.880
black man because like oh that changes everything yeah well yeah well because there's there's levels of
01:32:34.640
this shit so if it was just a white dude that was just walking behind her and she had that reaction
01:32:38.480
imagine if it was a black guy and then imagine if it was a mexican dude because it just kind of keeps
01:32:42.880
going up and up and up like if it was a puerto rican guy with a knife and like he was just you know
01:32:47.040
whittling so you mean a puerto rican yes yeah yeah to be fair when i cross paths with a black guy in
01:32:54.160
like a parking lot or something i double check to make sure my vehicle's locked do you yeah i i i check
01:33:01.840
more of my vehicles locked than my wife does elizabeth just i never lock my car what really
01:33:08.640
i am stealing clint's car yeah just jump in the corvette no actually no now that i have a corvette
01:33:14.880
i do lock it but when i when i had my old car which was a pontiac g6 nothing special i i drove to
01:33:20.240
the gym i never locked it anywhere i went a g6 is pretty you can get that thing if you uh well it's not
01:33:25.040
a bad car what's the psychology behind that i just didn't give a fuck yeah but you didn't keep
01:33:30.480
anything in there that you wanted later i kept nothing in there okay like i would have a change
01:33:35.520
in my fucking whatever cup holder or whatever but who gives a fuck do do people still still uh
01:33:41.120
like stereos and radios and shit is that still still thing because like i mean if you want to steal my
01:33:45.920
stock fucking pontiac radio like yeah elizabeth what did not she used to not like lock the car
01:33:54.480
she used to like for like for a long time but i did do the opposite thing where i wouldn't lock uh
01:33:59.920
our back door whenever i would leave uh that's that's a little bit less cool because like she's
01:34:05.120
uh you know incapable of wielding a weapon right that's true exactly i would like for a longest time
01:34:10.320
and so i told my co-worker this and he was like i'm gonna come into your house and just like
01:34:13.520
steal shit i'm gonna just go in there and rape your wife dude what a scumbag what are you gonna do
01:34:20.080
about it what are you gonna do and now we're even and this is this is why cole's in the gym every
01:34:25.040
day now because he's like yeah you're you're leaving the back door
01:34:44.640
it doesn't matter what she doesn't want to happen i own this pussy now because it's mine
01:34:48.240
motherfucker all right um yeah i look i i don't uh to be perfectly honest i don't approach women in
01:34:54.720
the parking lots but at the same time like during the day i still have to exist as a human being on
01:34:59.280
this planet and like if we pass if if our cross if our paths cross like you have to just accept
01:35:05.440
that like that's not i'm not gonna run away from you to stay more than 21 feet away it's just
01:35:11.280
bizarre behavior i think yeah like one of my favorite follows on instagram his name is faceless
01:35:16.800
go follow him he's fucking great and he's made a thing of like if he's in the parking lot in the
01:35:20.320
middle of the night he has a mask he always has a mask a ski mask on he said just run at women
01:35:24.800
just just start running at her and just like that's not that's not nice to do that
01:35:32.160
just do it maybe maybe that's what happened to this chick and that's why she's all there is
01:35:36.240
that would make a lot more sense there is no law that says you can't just run at random people in
01:35:40.240
the middle of the night as long as you don't attack them and don't say anything they might shoot
01:35:44.960
just run right at them they might yeah they might wow that was quick he has the fucking bet
01:35:52.320
i bet he could find one of him actually running he's better right there right there that one right
01:35:55.680
there that one right there click yeah there we go your influence walking to your car at night
01:35:59.840
turn on the sound turn the sound it's funny i love this did you just get off work
01:36:04.640
why are you backing up i just wanted to see if you wanted to put your car over there
01:36:21.520
oh god that is follow faceless he's i want him on the show oh yeah hell yeah i want him on the show he
01:36:28.080
does uh the the slonker mug is where how i found him it's so funny he's better he's better than
01:36:33.120
uh oh all right good yeah i just want to watch some lesbian midgets now i don't know about you
01:36:42.800
he did actually try to get liquid at sponsorship and then
01:36:48.160
or is it is this funny yes it is funny like all right go ahead
01:36:57.840
liquid he does have a podcast and i would love to have him on the show the most badass water
01:37:03.120
liquid death yeah but everybody was commenting for him to get a sponge by
01:37:15.040
blood light suck fuck faces 40 slonker mug hickory smoked thick sliced bacon
01:37:39.840
oh no it's a lot of eggs dude just does this guy everything i love about this is the production
01:37:52.400
quality of his like setup is so fucking nice yeah and like does he does he ever reveal who he is
01:38:00.080
his face he never reveals his face yeah he never reveals his face
01:38:30.960
reminds me of the la beast i love this guy he posts the best memes on on instagram
01:38:38.160
so hard yeah he does have a podcast this is this is what cole does he's got this fucking that one
01:38:42.320
conspiracy guy in this dude he's just like in love yeah he just sends us these videos all day
01:38:46.640
i just yeah yeah i dude i crack raw eggs into my coffee you guys think i'm insane i don't think
01:38:51.920
you're insane for that oh you do is that a thing yeah why isn't your testosterone rising
01:39:02.000
the fact that those uh weights still haven't moved
01:39:11.120
just move them just move them one time just so we know that they move
01:39:14.320
just lift them why don't you just lift them what are you what else are you doing right now
01:39:19.200
do it right now yeah pick the biggest one and curl it
01:39:22.880
no i'll do it i'll do it later he won't do it he won't do it i'll do it later
01:39:30.160
this is your moment to shine toad go ahead go ahead we're ready and then we'll in the show
01:39:34.480
hands in the chat hands in the chat if you want to see toad lift that come on let's go
01:39:38.400
this and then we'll end the show with you just doing like do like two curls like it's funny
01:39:43.440
is like it's it's not even a set take them off full screen take them off this is hurting my
01:39:48.480
heart this is hurting my heart don't do it just just relax it's okay wait do it
01:39:54.640
next take us out of the show next take us out of the show with this toad yeah just one curl
01:40:01.200
he says he'll do it next week now we have we can hold it over his head all week that's fine i'll do it
01:40:06.880
all right he wants he wants to he wants to make sure that the dust is off of him
01:40:12.080
no the reason the reason i'm not doing it is because i'm not wearing pants
01:40:16.000
even better do it right please do it are you wearing right are you wearing underwear
01:40:27.200
wait a second you're why are you doing it right now why are you doing that's wild
01:40:32.640
shit man this dude has a kink this is a kink for him our whole our whole show is just his kink this is
01:40:41.120
it is he's fucking he's like daffy ducking us right now like you're sitting like bulls just like
01:40:47.520
bulls on that chair just bulls on the chair and he's and it's like it's i don't know what the
01:40:52.160
temperature is where y'all i mean y'all are in florida and like it was like 90 degrees 40 degrees here
01:40:57.760
hey lane lane or laney would you have sex with toad i want you to respond thank you yes he 100
01:41:04.160
would sorry whatever yes if you follow us and you're and you're a subscriber and a and a great
01:41:10.960
fan i'll call you a she if you're lane is dope or lane okay listen every everybody is requesting uh
01:41:16.480
i don't have a i actually don't own a tank top but i will go shirtless next week and i will lift
01:41:23.920
let's wear a tank top yeah why you gotta do all that extra listen lift i like it i'll do it next week
01:41:29.360
all right we have any other uh videos or we got i got a piss like a racehorse so all right thank you
01:41:35.360
guys so much for tuning in uh i need to tell you guys something real quick no what the fight that's
01:41:47.840
but i'll make it explicit uh friday i will be playing poker with tim pool and his crew yeah
01:41:53.840
friday to see if yeah friday to see if he wants to hire me uh so yeah big big shit's happening
01:41:59.680
and do you have to beat him like to get the job i don't know dude i don't know if i should beat him
01:42:04.160
or like just make it close and then throw the game are you sure you're sure you could beat him though
01:42:09.040
right i'm a damn good poker player like i i'm sure he would have a chance of beating me he plays all the
01:42:13.840
time but um yeah new video just dropped go check that out and uh beyond that i have gabriel assange julian's
01:42:21.600
father on next monday so do not use that big shit all right yeah i don't want to plug top
01:42:29.280
all right go ahead toplasta.com yeah cool uh toplasta also got a shout out on legion's kinks too
01:42:37.440
so yeah i forgot that yeah that was pretty great yeah uh crack comic dave and tower again cole on
01:42:44.000
twitter hit the bell hit the bell you homos hit the bell um i'm not thinking anything else hit
01:42:50.080
the bell like jose shout out jose real quick um he fucking uh it's just taken off uh he had that
01:42:57.280
thing with uh dave and he has another special thing about to come out that he told us about today
01:43:02.800
that's gonna be pretty cool hit the bell like dylan mulvaney's father hit him that's right um but
01:43:10.560
yeah that's it hit the bell like toad has never hit the gym go ahead damn that's right i oh and also
01:43:17.360
reed follow reed whatever no yeah he's never on the show yeah i've never done it yet tower gang toad uh
01:43:23.120
go sign up for the tower game patreon patreon.com slash tower gang pod follow us on youtube rumble
01:43:29.360
odyssey whatever it's towering everywhere yes play dicky's videos is that what we're gonna play out
01:43:36.640
with or do you want to play it outro because uh i want to see it we'll play it we can play it
01:43:42.640
yeah because we talked about playing it jose's gonna be in a space with josey tomorrow check
01:43:48.560
that out josey jose just one letter missing and you're the same person how fucking crazy is that
01:43:53.200
i uh i'm supposed to be on that space and since i i land in dc at 11 15 so i could probably still do
01:43:59.120
it if you need me just so you know all right play the video
01:44:01.600
if we have it up but here you go fucking find it there is two videos it was two it was two videos
01:44:08.640
yeah thomas massey yeah oh yeah that's a good one
01:44:14.080
wait wait wait wait wait wait this will probably definitely get us banned
01:44:50.820
When I throw my clip in the AK, I slay them far away.
01:45:00.560
There's nothing worse than arguing with a black guy, though.
01:45:23.780
There's a guy, by the way, there's a guy that goes to my gym and looks just like Thomas Massey.
01:45:27.820
Every time I see him, I almost try to take a picture of him because it looks just like him.
01:46:03.300
Do you think you have to wash your chicken in heaven?
01:46:14.520
If this is what you view as seasoning and seasoning only, let me tell you a question.
01:46:33.980
If you're seasoning your food, it means there's not enough salt.
01:46:36.800
Salt is going to bring out the flavor of onion, the flavor of garlic, the flavor of whatever
01:46:49.840
It's most of the time because you need to add more salt or some sort of acid like lemon
01:47:05.700
I saw that tweet, but I didn't press play because I was like, I've already seen this
01:47:26.640
Yo, Lions of Liberty is trash, though, for real.
01:48:08.700
Tower Gang, Tower Gang, Tower Gang, Tower Gang.
01:48:11.340
Tower Gang, Tower Gang, Tower Gang, Tower Gang, Tower Gang, Tower Gang, Tower Gang, Tower Gang.
01:48:40.060
Libertarian won't be the same day revolution-y.
01:48:58.560
Tower Gang, Tower Gang, Tower Gang, Tower Gang.
01:49:14.600
Tower Gang, Tower Gang, Tower Gang, Tower Gang.
01:49:19.760
Tower Gang, Tower Gang, Tower Gang, Tower Gang.
01:49:23.760
It's so fucking hard to line up the syllables and all that.