Ep 118 - Lawnmower Football
Episode Stats
Length
1 hour and 48 minutes
Words per Minute
197.46834
Hate Speech Sentences
317
Summary
In this episode, we talk about Toad and Top's beef, Ben Affleck's fake Boston accent, and the future of Toad's social media account. Also, we discuss the latest in the Toad/Toad beef, and much more!
Transcript
00:00:00.000
what's up retards i'm trying to start a cult here baby so i can only fit a third of my dick
00:00:08.080
into toads mussy you want to kill me or you want to give me a boner i don't know
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woe is me i'm retarded any of you guys ever had the mythical where they put the whole thing in
00:00:23.080
and then do that shit with it the three of you had a threesome of some kind i was watching it and
00:00:31.120
he was a 10 in real life she's like a dead eight
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lewis you're like a brother to me donald trump come on tower gang that is the most offensive podcast
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it's not what this show is about this shit is retarded
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that's not what this show is about this shit is retarded baby it's tower gang's up with this
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motherfucker it's wednesday it's 9 11 you know what time that is it's toe time lift the motherfucking
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weights let's go hell yeah zoomed in on those titties
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fuck yeah let's go i like your style producer behind the scenes
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oh this shit is retarded what's up guys it's good to be back with you
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yo dude i think toad is all hype for you guys's fucking beef today
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after the fact like i get to feel it real time because i was not
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keeping up today what was going on i was working so hard
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i get back and i just see like top and toad are just fucking going at it but i guess about
00:01:48.740
top and i are fighting i fucking hate this faggot and i got hit by a cock
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7004 we're gonna be keeping an eye on this during the show
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7004 how much did it drop let's let's get get that up i have two accounts i'll unfollow real quick
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word you'll unfollow i'll unfollow i mean clint are you down if we have to do it i mean
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come on just to keep his just to keep his ego instead he's down to 7002
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we started an unfollow uh for those not don't pay attention to where we started unfollow toad uh
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trend okay what's he at what's he at now just i don't know what was he up at was he up to around
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72 you realize this does not make uh for good podcasting well not good podcasting
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he's down to seven he's lost like five followers he's down to seven thousand by the way
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the whole point was to get below seven because it's like for him
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no no yeah toad toad at fucking 6909 this is fuck with my power guys
00:03:05.340
it's just mostly funny how legitimately upset you get by this where it's like
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all these people probably will follow back and it's just fucking it's hilarious top fuck with you
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also none of this matters if they're willing to unfollow you over that like i'm just like
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i'm seeing numbers right now i don't know what's going on what does that mean i don't even know
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that's concerning toad i think he's learning new rules about praxeology here
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posters talking to him or something sometimes humans don't act like you want them to
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how much painkillers is too much painkillers what are you on why are you talking yeah i love that
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on painkillers he gets all the awesome accent comes out well i don't even i don't i don't have
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anything besides fucking tylenol like ibuprofen shit like i don't know i fucking overdosed on
00:03:55.120
tylenol one day dude it was fucking crazy that will shut down your kidneys tylenol is actually
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very dangerous i took like a handful i don't know of tylenol wait nobody's bothered by his
00:04:06.060
fake boston accent right now oh i'm bothered i think the painkillers are drawing it out wait
00:04:10.240
what pink no it's real i'm from boston what the fuck are you talking about guys you never talk
00:04:15.340
like this you know what it's from a fucking ben affleck movie right before the show we were talking
00:04:22.160
about like subjects we're gonna hit and we're gonna we were gonna joke on toad's rebrand right
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i said let's talk about toad's rebranding because he needs a rebranding it's awful and then this
00:04:30.660
motherfucker so he says before the show i think i'm gonna rebrand to a boston accent right and i
00:04:35.360
said no no no it's not up to you it's up to us we're rebranding you and he has the balls in
00:04:41.620
between one like in between the skit in between one of the one of the all-time great skits where i
00:04:46.100
got you under 7 000 you you're gonna sit there and just start doing it like that's the thing
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you realize the boston accent is real i just intentionally turned it off it's not like i
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don't think it's real i don't think it's definitely like i don't know like i think it's a natural
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i believe you if i'm fucking boston guy i never fucking doubted it somehow this is making you more
00:05:10.300
unlikable and i don't i don't want to feel that way it's it's like it's like all of a sudden i should
00:05:13.800
just start talking in a southern accent because i'm from alabama just to be like hey guys there's gonna
00:05:17.780
be outside just all of a sudden just southern draw out of nowhere it's not your normal voice
00:05:24.260
with us and i get it i uh i grew up in i was born in maine we left there like high school-ish to
00:05:30.040
tennessee so like i do have this you do this weird thing around people like me when i go back to home
00:05:34.400
around maine my my fucking accent starts coming a bunch more when i'm in the tense people from
00:05:39.080
tennessee i start talking more like that and it's not even like intentional and i'm sure you do that
00:05:42.900
with us but i think the painkillers are dropping that normal thing that you do that like people
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naturally do and so you're just like this is my this who i fucking am guys how you like them apples
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that's not really a boston thing to say what the fuck no so you top as as you're probably aware i have
00:06:04.380
a car backed into me when i was over near a car backed into me yeah yeah when i i was kind of
00:06:14.720
i can't tell if he's doing it or if i'm making it up or if it's always been like this i'm like
00:06:24.980
no no i know it's not always been like this no no but he might have this might be like
00:06:31.400
this might be like some mandela effect shit where like he's always been like this
00:06:35.740
no but like some people remember it that way and some people don't no no there was uh well there's
00:06:40.980
it was it was kind of like uh i don't know like a few yards away from this crosswalk and this
00:06:46.020
fucking suv just like jerked backwards backed into me and i kind of like moved and my foot got
00:06:54.460
caught in the middle of the street and i had twisted my hip really weird and then i was just kind of
00:06:58.840
like no no stop stop what is this really weird normal tone it's like i mean this might be toed
00:07:08.840
with his boss and people but this is top top top was like you gotta go to the fucking er right now
00:07:14.920
i'm like i'm not gonna fucking do that i'm gonna wear you think i'm gonna wear a fucking mask like
00:07:18.700
this is the first time i've left a toed and like yo dicky actually has a good idea did to get laid
00:07:27.940
and all of a sudden he's like he's just like he's just mega chad right now like what he gets he turns
00:07:34.160
into whatever uh person he gets laid by so he got laid he's in boston so he gets laid by a boston chick
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he takes on that persona he sucks in there in time yeah i got i got laid by this boston bodybuilder
00:07:46.960
check build up what is happening are you just is this just what you're gonna do i feel like i'm
00:07:54.580
freaking out man i don't know i don't know what you're talking about i don't know what you're
00:07:59.140
taking a bit what painkillers did you take and how much i took a handful of tylenol that's it
00:08:05.140
yeah yeah i think your liver's shutting down it's making your brain dump if that's not you said
00:08:11.740
painkillers and who the fuck refers to tylenol as painkillers yeah it's all i had makes it sound
00:08:18.160
like that fever is definitely under control yeah i don't think you're high i just think you're like
00:08:23.340
blood is deathly thin you think you think i got a closet full of morphine or some shit here
00:08:27.560
you think i got a fever okay now now i think he's doing it oh oh no there's the fucking uh there's a
00:08:34.300
side effect right there fucking fucking knew it fucking knew it dude i'm not fucking overdosing
00:08:42.880
holy shit being a lumpy bitch it's right there no that's uh that's unironic and cap
00:08:49.700
how do they know this guy let me let me read this shit from the group chat because i like this
00:08:59.420
today toad is having me fucking dying laughing like all day unintentionally it's the greatest
00:09:04.500
shit in the so we're like basically arguing the group chat and toad says the only branding that's
00:09:11.200
going to happen to me is because of the cattle variety burning my ass retarded retarded toad shit
00:09:17.260
then he like like 10 seconds later he just goes i got hit by a car
00:09:22.820
yo toad were you sending were you sending that stupid uh the only branding i'm going to get is
00:09:29.680
like a cow and then boom is it by a car so i said i said were you in a car he says no
00:09:37.700
do you have like a toyota symbol on your ass right now from where you
00:09:41.920
yeah yeah i got branded yeah totally having those days you see in movies where they're like
00:09:46.620
bad day and they're walking down the sidewalk then someone hits the puddle and it gets
00:09:49.980
and he goes i think my hip is kind of fucked so i said go into the hospital
00:09:56.420
he says uh down thumbs whatever that emoji means and wear a mask fuck no
00:10:02.280
this is how autistically retarded i'm telling you told you had me crying
00:10:06.520
and then he tells the story he was jaywalking in a group of jaywalkers and got hit by a car
00:10:11.640
how is it how is it that you're in a group and you're the only one that gets hit by a vehicle
00:10:15.240
yeah it's like did they push you into it what happened yeah it was the human body shield i was
00:10:21.780
i was the one closest to the car stop stop you gotta know it's intentional that or you're
00:10:28.180
literally dying from taking too much fucking iron propane or some shit all right so would
00:10:33.120
be the first person to over to actually overdose and die on well picture this though i i was actually
00:10:39.420
being the smart one because the cars are over here we're not gonna get through this episode if he
00:10:47.980
keeps this shit up because they're no think about it they're all coming in this direction from my
00:10:52.740
right so i went to the left so if a car is gonna come hit you it's gonna hit all these other people
00:10:57.100
to my right instead this car to my left backs into me like how do you expect that to happen
00:11:02.880
like it was like a two mile per hour like you should have subtly introduced this new character
00:11:10.120
maybe you could have tricked us but the crazy thing is wait you just get one he gets sorry i got i got
00:11:16.060
to read the last thing that that like was just completely with it go ahead keep going because
00:11:19.480
you have to address this transition you it's like it's like if you were to just throw on a wig and be
00:11:24.640
like my fucking pronouns are she her i'd be like i'm not doing this toad you have to fucking i have to
00:11:28.980
see some some steps in this direction yeah being slowly you start getting more tits and you start
00:11:35.260
getting like uh yeah you just wait you shave the beard off you like exactly you start working in a
00:11:40.660
local garage you know this is the end this is the end of his story here so my right foot foot uh stuck
00:11:46.420
in a spot on the road and hip moved unnaturally this fucking hurts i said toad you should report it
00:11:51.460
even though i hate you and i and i know accurately that you should be under 7 000 followers he goes
00:11:56.100
i gotta make this train and be on tower gang i don't give a fuck
00:12:00.960
it's so it's so insane i like i don't understand what's going on with you toad what is going on
00:12:09.400
oh did you jump in front of the car skinwalker he got replaced he's lifting weights he's talking
00:12:16.020
like a boss and accent he's had his shirt off he's jumping in front of cars this is like
00:12:20.980
like chat gpt version of like the bullet points of like well this is roughly what he does right
00:12:27.980
what does this what does this faggot usually do like oh yeah i guess
00:12:35.600
it's okay if you want to transition it's okay but like i just i need to like i i need to be
00:12:43.480
mentally and emotionally prepared for what's happening
00:12:45.760
i didn't jump he's he's trans he's trans boston you're you're trans boston you know you can you
00:12:53.080
can you can jump in front of a car that's reversing too toad and i think that's what happened
00:12:57.020
i didn't i didn't expect it to be reversing it doesn't make any sense i um no i'm italian not
00:13:03.600
irish so uh if if you're unaware of uh the the boston like mob scene uh the irish are actually
00:13:11.300
backed by the fbi oh yo look at this it says it says the toad is offensive content that's awesome
00:13:18.660
that's fucking face fucking hate it that's actually really uh scary too by the way yeah
00:13:24.780
ask it to write a joke in my in my fashion the ai just immediately goes no those are the
00:13:29.540
undesirables imagine imagine if it writes a joke in the fashion of top lobster i'm gonna be pissed
00:13:35.120
because that means that toad's more offensive than me right here we go hell yeah hell yeah
00:13:40.680
hell yeah wow that's cool we now entered a we're not using pronouns here oh i said
00:13:50.400
what the fuck dude now now oh i thought yeah i can't even read this shit sure here's a
00:13:58.600
why did the conspiracy theorist refuse to wear a mask because he didn't want to be silenced
00:14:04.920
the government 5g signals it's like it's totally because it's not at all your syntax anything they're
00:14:12.320
just the most like offensive he's a schizo crazy conspiracy but they could think of
00:14:16.880
but it wrote it is that that's cool the chat ggp knows that toad just say the n-word as a joke
00:14:21.920
i wonder if they have from i mean cole from tower gang would that even come up it's scary at how
00:14:31.720
accurate what is cole from tower gang favorite slur oh god it's not gonna get that guys after
00:14:38.580
this i need you to pull up my thread about this being like literal demons and like the ouija board
00:14:43.100
so we're talking to it pretty cool yeah there you go what the fuck no because you could probably
00:14:51.560
you write tower gang for me i think gang i think gang uh oh maybe go go for go for dan dude we need
00:14:57.540
to use the dan gpt i think dan's gone all right yeah yeah they probably they probably edited it
00:15:03.020
up i feel like it's awful because this is amazing all right mailbag mailbag let's do it hold on do
00:15:08.320
you do you want to hear i did have a story uh all right let's do mailbag tell the story oh okay
00:15:13.900
nobody that's fine no if your story story it's just hey your stories are always good because i always
00:15:18.500
let's do mailbag also yeah i just want little bicky to keep popping in and out as we
00:15:24.060
tell josie it wasn't the fucking t it was the commuter rail i mean you're talking to her right now
00:15:33.140
tell that bro that bitch i was on the commuter train all right that's right yeah and stop raping
00:15:44.460
my friends while you're at it um so what are we doing we're doing cole's story or we do a mailbag
00:15:49.820
whichever is by the way i did an impersonation of donald trump on tire game or on uh on tipcast
00:15:54.500
and it was so bad and i feel like none of you watched irl and that's why you're not making fun
00:15:59.320
of me for it i'm just i'm gonna be honest i've watched i tried to watch it and then i saw tim
00:16:04.460
try to talk about esg and i had to stop watching it because i couldn't like it was just like when
00:16:09.900
you whenever you are on and you like give a perfect explanation of esg and he comes on and he's just
00:16:15.840
like says some like retarded shit like i'm just like i can't i there's no nothing i'm getting out
00:16:22.940
of this guys here's a funny thing when your friends start to get on like bigger shows and they're like
00:16:28.920
hey how did i do and like this is like your tight group of friends your answer is always like yo
00:16:33.560
amazing but i didn't watch it a common lie i watched it you did good i mean i'll be honest
00:16:42.540
that episode wasn't really my jam but it was like you did well uh i guess okay with the chick
00:16:51.760
she seems like a very nice chick but she's kind of boilerplate kind of how the fuck did you get
00:16:56.920
this place and you're clearly just like i'm just now exploring political philosophy yeah it's just
00:17:02.040
she works for like the blaze or something like what the fuck how'd you get here oan oan i mean yeah
00:17:08.400
whatever that's even bigger yes you're right and that's my father-in-law watches oan every day so
00:17:14.740
pretty surface level it was a big deal to your father-in-law that yeah i i just i just didn't
00:17:19.840
have the hot to tell you that your impression sucked oh well thank you for not having that
00:17:24.660
i wish we were that cool all right targeting podcast is a political and cultural commentary
00:17:30.920
podcast hosted by a group of anonymous right-wing content creators who use pseudonyms such as
00:17:34.700
brimstone reinhardt von krieger and charlemagne that's my new name reinhardt von krieger
00:17:39.660
i want to be brimstone i call it i call it damn it i guess i guess i'm charlemagne wait yeah let's
00:17:45.580
let's not let toad rebrand to any of these names because that would be dope
00:17:49.260
oh all right let's do it we're associated with the new right or groipers
00:17:54.080
hell yeah that's not true but it could be true what i like it we got reinhardt we got charlemagne
00:18:00.300
who's in this chat the people in this chat are not from they're not important though the tower
00:18:04.700
game podcast and its hosts have been uh associated with constant reviews and statements and the
00:18:07.920
context of the christmas promoting extremist hate bodyologies
00:18:16.300
they just looked up who is toad from tower game
00:18:20.220
he often interjects levity in the podcast discussion because he's serious and heavy
00:18:24.780
he interjects levity when bite okay this is how i you know what i'm going to delete my thread because
00:18:34.620
they could at least call us this is oh god it's literal demons top you're right it's important to
00:18:42.220
know that humor is subjective and what one person finds funny or clever to be the same for everyone
00:18:47.580
toad may or may not have been quick-witted or funny funny i'm just going about our personal
00:18:52.300
opinion say the n-word oh all right guys this is ridiculous all right but that's funny that's
00:19:05.900
i may have mentioned this before what if what if in the mailbag is is cole's story
00:19:10.300
you guys suck dick whatever uh so everyone in the chat and follow and follow i want to say i've
00:19:24.620
mentioned this before but i couldn't remember if i told the whole story i so this was like whenever
00:19:30.460
i was like in fifth fifth or sixth grade i was playing football and that really doesn't do the
00:19:35.500
story but it was just on my way back from football practice my parents in the car were like listen
00:19:40.060
we got to talk to you about something so my art your teacher your your fifth degree teacher which
00:19:45.500
is uh uh totes misery is uh like the only funny part of this which uh was a classmate of mine's mom
00:19:53.740
so it was a class classmate in the fifth sixth grade was her mom was our teacher and so she talked
00:19:59.820
to my parents and my parents were on the way back from a football practice and they were like listen
00:20:04.220
your teacher was brought up to us that the girl all the girls in the class have said that you have
00:20:09.820
been uh playing with yourself during class and uh they were like they just want you to like you need
00:20:18.460
to stop and so apparently what so and i had to be like no listen i was like i had to go to the bathroom
00:20:30.060
i didn't so i had to like hold my whatever but and i want to say what i was doing is i wasn't
00:20:37.340
jerking off during class i had recently found out that the whole like uh sticking your balls back up
00:20:46.700
into like where like before they dropped yeah yeah i figured that out and so i maybe tried that like
00:20:51.500
once or twice during class but like you put your hand in your pants and no no no over the pants over
00:20:57.660
the you know you know when you lie about something for like decades upon decades and then it just
00:21:02.060
becomes your truth i think that's what we're witnessing right here i think you you lied and
00:21:06.460
you said that that was your excuse but in fact you were jerking off he's lying so much that he
00:21:11.820
believes that this is the actual story i had not figured out i had not figured out how to jerk off
00:21:16.140
yet look but i do remember it's okay you're it's safe here you can tell the truth but were you looking
00:21:20.780
at the teacher or the girls in the class when you did no no the teacher because it would be pedophilia
00:21:25.100
uh to be fair that was part of your learning process to getting to beating off so that's
00:21:29.820
true but but it was but i was very like imagine a fifth so you were stuffing your balls back in your
00:21:34.460
body that's that's your excuse it was just popping now he now the only way he can get off is with nut
00:21:40.940
plays so but imagine a fifth grade kid his parents telling him that hey all the girls in your class
00:21:49.020
every one of them has been like hey this is pretty rough dude is like playing with his dick during
00:21:54.940
class and he needs to stop there's no there's no way you did it once or twice and every girl in the
00:22:00.620
class said that i stopped listening to your story and started thinking about liz like basically milking
00:22:05.500
your balls no no no no it was so embarrassing for me like i was on in this and they were like listen
00:22:13.660
we know like you're like going you know those little stress toy things the ones that kind of move in your
00:22:18.140
hand like just doing that i thought and i was i was so just it was like i was like no no i was like
00:22:27.500
i swear to god like i swear like i did i wasn't like playing with myself like it wasn't me i had
00:22:32.540
to call me banging on the sofa wasn't me called me jerking off in third grade it was you we saw
00:22:39.100
you do it your hands still smell like balls i was just stepping my balls in my body
00:22:46.780
i thought what cole was gonna say was that they thought he was jerking off but he was actually
00:22:50.700
doing one he was actually doing one of those things where you know when you have to like
00:22:53.820
pee really bad and you just kind of grab your that's what i said that's what i said i was doing and
00:22:58.060
i'm pretty sure i did do that once you know like everybody like like you have to piss and you're like
00:23:03.500
fucking like uh wait you're like oh my god that kind of feels weird i should yeah stuff your balls
00:23:11.580
in your body it wasn't me it wasn't me bad being naughty it wasn't me but i thought of that and i
00:23:17.420
was like damn like it is still embarrassing to this day that my parents had to be like listen you got to
00:23:21.900
stop like go like touching your wait wait just to backtrack did you say did you guys say if you like
00:23:27.820
if you had to like if you really had to pee you grab your balls is that what you said no you just like
00:23:32.780
i'm guessing they just saw me like having no that's not what i'm asking what toad said yeah
00:23:38.540
if you really had to pee and you wanted to stop you squeeze your balls no no no you're like your
00:23:43.980
rethro no like you're yeah you're dick yeah you cinch your rethro again because i was like does this
00:23:48.860
guy even know how bold like how dicks work i'd like push on my dick when i just did i told you guys
00:23:55.820
before that i was a bedwetter right yeah you did i was a bedwetter too yeah i know that's why we
00:24:02.460
but we bonded over that it made me feel a lot better about myself i also shoved my balls inside
00:24:06.380
my body periodically i just did it while you were talking about it just let's go dude i did it
00:24:13.020
this is the thing tower gang is going to make this a thing every every dude in america is just going
00:24:17.020
to be popping their balls back in their body yo i thought that was i thought that was what jerking
00:24:22.700
off was for years my i had a friend in high school he told us that middle school he was like we were
00:24:28.300
probably in like you're the valedictorian of your school this is he was seventh or eighth grade
00:24:31.980
i'm going to move to alabama so my kids could be like you were jerking off yeah you thought you
00:24:45.260
were jerking off yeah but this is like in my mind i'm jerking off but it's not actually jerking off so
00:24:55.260
you're looking at your fifth grade teacher and shoving your balls in your body because you think
00:24:59.340
you're going to come i just love it how you understand this correctly i didn't know what
00:25:04.060
coming was i had no it comes full back circle like no i was a degenerate because that's what i thought
00:25:09.100
i was doing the whole time i thought i was jerking off i'm just fucking retarded too
00:25:15.980
i had a friend in like seventh or eighth grade we were out no wait if i was god if i was god and i had
00:25:21.020
to judge this sin of like jerking off to the teachers like he technically didn't like but he was
00:25:26.940
trying to and i would judge your brain it's your intention behind it and you were like
00:25:32.540
it's not the action it's how many hundreds of thousands of times did you shove your balls in
00:25:37.100
your body before you realized that you weren't gonna wait here's the thing this is so like
00:25:42.140
this is almost like it's the first time you've ever done this like ever tried to masturbate yourself
00:25:47.980
and you did it in class yeah it's like because he's like that's the kind of energy man we're
00:25:54.060
dealing with right here his first sexual experience as a small child's like
00:25:58.060
fucking look behold the world in class third period dude by the way
00:26:05.260
every dude who uh stuffed their balls like that uh are brovery bros
00:26:11.660
that that's what we call them from now on but yes i did but i for for a long time like i really
00:26:17.580
thought that was a friend of me we were on like playing kickball and he was like hey man you ever
00:26:22.460
like jerked off and like in my mind it was like that like computer like uh like the the little
00:26:27.420
spinning circle and i was like and i was like wait wait wait wait yeah are you wearing two fit
00:26:31.580
bits you fucking homo no let me see i have a garment what's on the right what is this what is this
00:26:40.620
double band action i just i don't know i like this one and this one is just like people knowing i work
00:26:45.580
out wait you you are wearing a bronco band yeah it was from like uh our one of our one of our one
00:26:52.300
of our friends our friend of the show viewers and a guy in our group chat arian pay um cole are you
00:26:58.620
getting so jacked that you're wearing accoutrements yeah yeah yes does anyone else wear anyone else
00:27:04.860
wear shit like that i don't even wear a watch no no i gotta put your wrist up of course you do uh
00:27:09.740
yeah no but yeah it's it's a strange i was not for a long time and then i was like i'm sorry going
00:27:15.820
to the gym i'm not gonna lie it is a gym thing i fucking knew it i really started getting into like
00:27:20.620
hand jewelry i don't know i don't know what it is it's something about like you're peacocking you
00:27:26.220
are peacocking on i have small wrists i have small wrists i mean look you're trying to distract
00:27:31.980
it from your baby hands and so i have to like i still see your baby hand next to that but
00:27:37.580
that was crazy it's a it's a eye trick kind of thing so i yeah and i and i got and i got the
00:27:44.140
watch because i see your baby calories and shit yeah like i'm is this is this about your hands is
00:27:48.940
this thing about you like this is about my balls in my uh no cool subconsciously are the are the
00:27:56.140
wristbands and the watches is this about like the hand is it you know that your hands are small so
00:28:00.700
you're trying to like accentuate compromise yeah i think i'm trying to come so you don't even know
00:28:04.700
but you think you are yeah probably yeah i think so i think it's subconscious i i i imagine this
00:28:09.740
looks better but i think it's just because my hands are so small that whenever like this covers
00:28:13.740
up my small wrists yeah yeah because everyone's looking at your wrists going like i'm not noticing
00:28:17.660
that yeah yeah it's like yeah it's like yeah it's like a small ass like literally it's so small i can
00:28:22.140
put my hand and i have his watch is like look no further
00:28:25.340
don't worry about it yeah but everybody looking at everybody looking at cole's wrist is noticing
00:28:35.740
that's great oh hey i had it i had a thought that uh it's really important um you know how
00:28:41.260
retards are strong as fuck right yeah dude yeah exactly do you think that there's like
00:28:49.180
there's got to be at least a handful of retards that have ripped their dicks off while jerking off
00:28:54.380
yeah right oh yeah for sure i mean probably like i'm pretty sure i'm pretty sure monkeys do that
00:29:00.060
dude they rip their dicks off too i would not be surprised if monkeys rip their dicks off retards
00:29:05.100
would wait but do they that's kind of because that's kind of important i'm like 100 sure
00:29:13.900
wait if monkeys do it then retards do it for sure
00:29:18.300
i don't know if monkeys do it but i can imagine that monkeys would rip their own
00:29:22.140
dick off anything a monkey would do as well top i need you to weigh in here you don't you don't
00:29:27.980
seem um i'm gonna do a quick curious oh i know i just got completely distracted my cousin sent me
00:29:33.420
something stupid uh do retards rip their dicks off yeah sometimes i don't think i think that they
00:29:40.540
would rip not there it would be much harder to rip your dick off but definitely i could see some of
00:29:44.860
them like jerking is so big oh my god it's so good mouth massage with testicles no no no
00:29:54.140
that was a monkey sucking another monkey's balls
00:29:58.140
why was it labeled that though jesus all right all right all right all right
00:30:02.220
fucking mailbag please we got to do the mailbag because we got a couple of uh
00:30:07.820
this has been the most meandering bizarre intro ever we're still in the intro this is crazy
00:30:14.860
all right so phil says by next year there should be a tower gang festival meetup
00:30:20.700
we've we've talked about that yeah yeah we agree yeah you poor tower fest let's go
00:30:26.540
sign up for the patreon either nashville or prince cola i want to say that's uh
00:30:30.940
no we should do it at ground zero it's the only way to be the only reason i'm not going to new
00:30:35.900
york dude i'm on paris watch list do it at my house again that would be cool
00:30:39.740
yeah but for real yeah uh go uh go preach the good word of tower was there anything else with
00:30:45.020
that or is it that it that was literally it oh no 100 it'll happen yeah no we've really
00:30:51.340
talked about wanting to do it i believe like i have talked about people doing it in pensacola
00:30:55.500
talked about a meetup in nashville uh just people getting together because it's kind of like center
00:30:59.340
of like everything very easy for people to get to that's true yeah it's just understand though we're
00:31:03.820
at like a grift level right here we need to get like a to this level of grift before yeah
00:31:07.900
yeah like and subscribe unfollow toad as long as long as the tower fest happens in a tower that's
00:31:15.180
all we got to do okay i mean i don't see that's just that means to be like up here like we have to
00:31:22.140
really we're in a house with two stories top we're trying to get we're trying to get our poor friends
00:31:27.820
to buy like plane tickets to come and hang out with us and you're talking about towers like a literal
00:31:32.140
tower come on dude we got we got we got a lot of growing before we get there and let's
00:31:37.580
i'm shooting for the sky man and we've talked about getting like you know like mid-rate comedians
00:31:42.940
like uh adam nutter and like uh i'm telling you guys tower gang at skank fest tower gang at skank
00:31:49.340
skank fest that should happen dude that should happen yeah real yeah i mean if like adam nutter
00:31:54.220
can go to skank fest or something i don't think adam does go to skank no fuck it i mean we should
00:31:57.980
probably not i mean we all should just go and then our friends love you adam shut the
00:32:02.620
fuck up toad and we hijack a stage you know we don't need to hijack a stage it's like a hangout
00:32:08.620
with with tower gang in las vegas the people don't even have to have tickets to fucking skank
00:32:14.060
fest that'd be crazy show up these three hours four hours we're like going crazy on fremont when i
00:32:18.940
was there when pop and i were there we had a bunch of targeting fans it's uh september i think
00:32:25.340
september i have a couple uh friends of mine iro friends that are trying to get me to go to
00:32:29.980
to las vegas in july to do a dnd weekend which would be really fun but i'm like there's no dungeons and
00:32:35.660
dragons yes when you say a lot of fans were we saying like three like well there was like there was
00:32:42.140
like 50 plus people that knew me from liberty lockdown and going on part of the problem there
00:32:48.140
was like three people that knew me from talking okay i got it great yeah all sizes a lot i think
00:32:54.540
you know depending but it was still like some of the people didn't even know liberty lockdown
00:32:58.620
they're like tower gang that was cool seth gunnarsen i would fuck up dave
00:33:03.580
oh yeah dude i don't know dude i get on the inside and i start working the body i'd take i'd take
00:33:09.340
quite i would put coal over yeah i'd take coal dave is way too i mean unless he's got some hand
00:33:15.180
skills i don't know about but i mean he's not no he's a he's trained by the streets and you see
00:33:19.900
his build you know what's up yeah but he's not less into the late rounds unless there's no late
00:33:25.260
rounds in a street fight those skinny dudes could fucking punch dude like they have some kind of
00:33:29.500
wacky shit if he hits me with his dick i'll go down but like
00:33:32.940
like on him i will defend dave's honor cool don't make me do it i don't want to do it all
00:33:39.340
right next one i say i uh skinny dave by knockout round two no wow wow yeah
00:33:47.580
i don't think he has the hands like that i don't think he's ever done any any real
00:33:51.100
training aside from just scrap he's from the street he's from brooklyn man you gotta have
00:33:54.540
yeah but like you don't learn how to really fight like you learn a scrap fight he's a jew
00:34:00.380
good point jesus man that's fair that is a fair point he's gonna fix the fight is what he's gonna
00:34:07.020
do he's gonna be like listen man like i'll pay you the best some of the best boxers in history
00:34:11.740
were jews from new york that's like how we're like yeah yeah we're breaking down
00:34:18.700
yeah we're like well he might he might stick a good jab he probably has good leverage all this kind
00:34:23.180
of like technical shit and he's like he's a jew he's a jew and everyone is like actually oh i
00:34:28.780
i forgot well look he makes a compelling point yeah look the the jew is gonna come in with the hook
00:34:33.660
nose i'm gonna rub uh pork fat on my uh my glove i mean they can't eat pork but i don't think
00:34:42.940
there's anything weird about touching dicky please
00:34:47.420
the massage next question little dicky all right novum asks what mental illness seems like the most
00:34:55.260
fun to have Tourette's Tourette's for sure because then you can say the n-word uh to your heart uh
00:35:03.580
little dicky can you can you pull up that video that i sent in the in the group chat the one that i
00:35:07.660
said we should play as a beautiful young lady on it though but yeah bipolar is retarded disabled
00:35:14.060
bipolar seems kind of fun because the correct answer is retarded yeah the correct answer is
00:35:18.540
retarded look at this fucking smoke show did you hear toes accent again what oh my god he keeps doing
00:35:24.060
it yeah who is she go ahead go ahead i'm gonna fuck you up and i have heart syndrome and this person
00:35:31.100
asked do you also tick when you're not talking um the answer to that is yes i do still tick when i don't
00:35:37.020
she looks like she looks like michaela peterson dude yeah yeah very pretty hotter i'm not gonna
00:35:47.100
lie it's weirdly makes her hotter dude i would fuck her and the Tourette's does make her hotter but
00:35:51.660
her accent is terrible it's like fucking long island or some shit i want to i look at dicky's
00:35:57.500
fucking he's rubbing he's rubbing his little hand uh you know cursor over her titties and then he
00:36:02.700
he's shoving his balls in his body right now man she is a beautiful cripple yeah she yeah i
00:36:12.380
want to come in on the side of bipolar because you can technically blame anytime you beat the
00:36:17.820
shit out of somebody i'm just being like listen like sorry i just had like a mental type of thing
00:36:22.380
and just went off but like i just stopped me like i feel like bipolar you can get away with a lot of
00:36:27.420
stuff i don't think you can you can't get away with bipolar it's like people are like i like
00:36:32.220
people are like oh it's cool he just shot up to school because he was having a bad day no exactly
00:36:36.380
he acts like they're excusing it like they excuse black people yes you can no it's different oh yeah
00:36:40.540
oh yeah kanye got treated really fairly when he was bipolar it's almost like i'm bipolar like okay
00:36:45.500
cool you're a woman that excuses your behavior fuck you what's funny is most of the bipolar people
00:36:53.260
i've heard of are women like i've always heard like yeah it's always made up nonsense my wife
00:37:00.380
it's diagnosing the female condition like the biological female condition he acts like bipolar
00:37:05.340
would be like if you said if you shut up a school but you said you were trans and then they just
00:37:09.260
forgive you it's not like that if i have a buddy like a dude say he's bipolar i'm like dude what a
00:37:14.540
faggot yeah no i'm not gonna get over it turrets would be pretty cool i mean it would be brutal but
00:37:20.140
like it would be just for a day it'd be pretty dope like go in and like tell your boss everything
00:37:25.340
you think about him just ah turrets turrets yeah i just i just saw i want to say i sent it to you
00:37:32.060
in the instagram chat of the the woman interviewing uh the guy and she she has turrets and the whole
00:37:38.060
time she was like i'm gonna fuck you tonight she's just like yeah and she was she was like show me your
00:37:44.140
dick yeah what what is what does a turrets chick sound like when she's dirty talking is it just like
00:37:50.460
normal talk that'd be funny if she everything that everything that turrets chick just said to me
00:37:55.660
sounded like like bedroom talk to me no but i'm saying if they are in like uh
00:38:02.140
i'm gonna make that but it's everything except the n-word
00:38:07.420
it would be funny though if it was the opposite it's like they get they start getting to another
00:38:11.180
thing and they all speak bastard and i'm gonna come
00:38:19.740
dude i'm i'm still thinking about those retired tiny dick faggot
00:38:23.980
has your uh has your wife ever called you uh ethnic slur during no no because she's the same ethnicity
00:38:31.580
no i don't think so it doesn't matter she can still call you that no i i'm gonna yeah i'm gonna
00:38:36.380
ask her to do it tonight but no i don't think you're not having sex tonight if you could trade
00:38:40.780
uh ethnicities for like some other you know new york bureau would italians choose what you going with
00:38:48.540
me yeah if i can trade ethnicities do i have to trade do do i still look like me
00:38:54.780
it's up to you if you want to i mean you're at because that's ambiguous enough to be any race
00:38:58.460
really yeah you could i mean you could be italian who the fuck knows i mean aside from like deep
00:39:02.620
africa shit like yeah you're saying if we could choose to be any different oh wait are you asking
00:39:08.620
me like if i if if like something i've done this before somebody approaches me or like comes at me
00:39:13.900
in a certain way in new york i can be like hey hey i'm italian i don't know what the
00:39:17.980
fuck these spics are doing over here i've done all that okay i've done russian i've done italian
00:39:22.860
you've done russian yeah and people believe me yeah that's why and uh my cousin who looks like me
00:39:29.180
he's done black like like albino he's whiter than me and his hair is like nappier
00:39:33.900
oh yeah he got away with he gets away with black yeah
00:39:37.020
it's a it's a it's a stretch but you can get away with it but like
00:39:45.420
thank god i'm not though but yeah what were you saying
00:39:47.980
top does israeli so you can get away with 9 11.
00:39:51.340
no my wife i do i yes i do my wife hey hey toad would you i feel like you want
00:39:56.860
to be jamaican deep down do you jamaican i haven't thought about it yeah i think you
00:40:02.780
do though maybe yeah i thought so all right go ahead next one all right so where we band
00:40:08.140
where we branding to jamaican toad but i do i do want to i do want to ask this around the table
00:40:13.260
besides toad what is the weirdest thing you've said during sex talk or have heard during like
00:40:17.900
during uh but i don't talk at all yeah i just really i don't think i've ever really other than
00:40:24.860
like oh yeah that's great keep doing that like shit like that i feel like dirty talk or not but
00:40:29.980
i did say give me that milk uh dirty talk dirty talk is for people that that their actual sex game
00:40:35.580
is weak as fuck yeah because you gotta now you gotta start talking like if i'm playing like like
00:40:39.980
defense against jordan i gotta talk to him because i don't know how to play defense exactly i think
00:40:44.060
there's like this like it's like you reach up over a certain level and you're just like i'm just
00:40:47.900
gonna start saying wild shit because i can just do whatever i want to pass probably the best i want
00:40:53.020
there's only one occasion man my wife had like crazy like hate sex like we were in like a really
00:40:57.900
weird spot and like i remember like we were fucking and it was like like fuck you you stupid fucking
00:41:02.860
whore just like that sounds unhealthy it was actually like amazing and kind of cathartic and i feel like
00:41:11.660
you know what i think we both still love each other all right it's a beautiful woman i can't remember if i
00:41:18.220
said give me that mommy milk or give me that milk but i said one of those it was so two weeks ago
00:41:26.780
cole cole cole's uh taking some lessons from me and then if that's his uh his form of dirt taking
00:41:31.900
sex lessons from toad that's right get your girl pregnant it's it's better i don't know what if
00:41:37.340
it's jose and top but it's gotten better after since she's uh had baby loosen that oh no
00:41:43.500
it's worse for me only if you don't get the ron paul stitch that's right what do you think it's
00:41:50.460
better and then the yeah i forgot dickie yes she did say you ever thought about working out she did
00:41:55.340
say that during i do you guys wow oh my god yeah is this why you're a gym lunatic now
00:42:03.820
no actually what's weird is that didn't cause it it was i don't know what she actually asked me the
00:42:07.980
day she was like why did you just randomly start like working out and i was like because i was a fat
00:42:12.540
piece of shit like i was like i looked like i was literally i would uh hide my gut like when i
00:42:19.180
was if i had my shirt off i would like hide my gut with my arms and i would like because i was like
00:42:24.060
embarrassed of it yeah yeah there you go now why it's it's just kind of up to see that like she
00:42:29.660
manipulated you into doing this during sex yeah it's very yeah it's very but that was it makes
00:42:36.460
it that was like that was almost like i think that was a year and a half ago when she said that
00:42:43.180
we're getting deep into cold psychology here we're figuring out why he wears the wrist things
00:42:46.860
now he's gonna he's not gonna want to go back to the gym because he's like damn why am i why am i
00:42:50.460
coming here shout out to aaron no no i i now i'm totally into it because like i mean now i just want
00:42:56.620
to get fucking jacked to shit no yeah but it's like right to to like send a message you don't ever
00:43:02.140
talk to me like that you remember that time you remember that time who's in shape now who's
00:43:10.460
fucking your sister now yeah because i'm gonna get jacked and make you feel bad about your i'm
00:43:15.580
gonna get jacked and fuck other bitches in my dreams okay well he did get raped in his dreams
00:43:22.220
so i don't know if it's that women do play that wasn't right my wife was telling me i think it was
00:43:26.860
today or yesterday like she was casually telling me about how at work she heard one of her friends
00:43:31.100
going on when i'm one of her friends like that's frenemies people she doesn't like at work type
00:43:34.380
deal and you know how women are they actually it's so funny that women have that they're just like
00:43:39.180
this fucking bitch she was going on i guess they were off in a group oh hey caitlin how you doing
00:43:44.620
girl they were off in a group going on about this one thing she got or something from her boyfriend
00:43:49.420
or some shit it was something there's something like kind of shitty everyone's like oh nice that's
00:43:52.700
so sweet my wife had this like really nice blanket like perfectly exactly what she likes
00:43:57.180
like like uh really like just like for her the perfect gift and like she was like and it wasn't
00:44:02.460
for me at all because my wife just buy shit when she wants it it's like for me with gifts i mean so
00:44:08.060
i'll do gifts but a lot of times like well just buy it that's what you want right yeah just get it
00:44:12.620
but anyway so she's like yeah she kind of walked by i was like yeah josh got this for me and like
00:44:16.860
just kind of just kind of walked away and it's fucking dog
00:44:25.260
stupid shit oh no he forgot he just forgot how to pronounce jose don't worry
00:44:29.980
wait what's he saying were you saying your name or toad's name
00:44:40.380
you guys should call me danny but i prefer top laps anyway
00:44:47.820
the crux of the story whatever uh fucking um yeah it was just funny like i like that dawned
00:44:53.420
on me my wife said so casually like no shame at all and i was just like i thought about the
00:44:57.340
implications of that and it's like if anything i almost respect it because it's like for for them
00:45:03.260
it's it's like i know in her head she's probably like this is the kind that she knows that that
00:45:08.460
woman's gonna go home to her boyfriend and make some sly comment about like why don't you get me
00:45:12.940
thoughtful gifts or this or that and it's like so she's like my wife's planning an evil seed in
00:45:18.060
her enemy's relationship like that is the kind of level of like shit women are on i'm like that's
00:45:23.580
like i like hate my enemies and like i guess maybe there's some i want legitimate harm to come to but
00:45:29.180
like i would never go to like that level like i want to destroy you emotionally
00:45:33.900
i want to destroy you metaphysically yeah yeah yeah exactly yeah all right god damn
00:45:39.820
bitch but yo i love i love that we're sitting here pretending like top didn't do that to toad
00:45:43.820
all day long it was just high level psychological warfare going up all day top is a woman obviously
00:45:54.300
guys listen you know you don't understand my way sometimes like if i'm gonna be on a big show
00:45:57.980
i'll stir up like twitter drama and all this shit but this one was a little bit different
00:46:02.300
did you start just because you went on that uh orange bitches uh yeah this is what this all this
00:46:07.900
is what all the shit is about so and like yesterday we were like we don't even have any
00:46:11.820
segments for the show and toad was like freaking out guys there's nobody who sent any videos or
00:46:16.140
anything for the show tomorrow we have a couple and i haven't even gotten to them yet i just said okay
00:46:19.820
word we're making the show tomorrow and we're 45 minutes in doing this shit making the show so
00:46:25.260
again fuck with me i'll i'll i'll do it man all right let's uh let's let's get to this last
00:46:30.060
i don't know what the point was but i i like the the motivational speech yeah yeah i lost it
00:46:35.100
halfway through i understood it all right final mailbag let's do it i assume it's the last one
00:46:42.700
all righty so keith asks what's the most fucked up slash red redneck shit that y'all have been
00:46:49.020
involved in and then he gives some examples for example i set a live opossum on fire killed a beaver
00:46:54.380
with a flashlight catch it in my truck bed for two days in august and then dumped it upwind of a
00:46:59.020
friend's house blew up a catfish with illegal fireworks and then he says you know redneck
00:47:04.620
shit uh yeah the answer to this is what we did at top lobster's ranch last year and i don't think i
00:47:10.220
can mention any of the things that we actually did yeah i was just gonna say i like my most redneck
00:47:14.620
thing immediately pops into my head and i can't say it because it's illegal but it's pretty redneck
00:47:19.020
yeah yeah you think the feds are gonna be like i don't know statute of limitations
00:47:26.940
this is a thing you'd be admitting to but there'd be no physical evidence of it at this point in time
00:47:31.420
so i mean the prosecution on that would be a nightmare like let's be real you can just say it
00:47:36.220
yeah i mean like it was a joke i mean it's like and haha i was joking i like to cut crimes
00:47:41.580
it's a fun joke it's a character created i've seen like i literally want to get me arrested so bad
00:47:47.180
it's like yeah i'm late now i uh i joined the kkk and i lynched a couple black people i didn't want to
00:47:57.180
most redneck shit i've done you might be a redneck i've huffed gasoline and i did that before
00:48:02.300
i don't know if i've ever told is that redneck i think this is white trash that's like drug addict
00:48:07.100
white trash is that before or after you put it on a cross and lit it on fire in some of the
00:48:12.140
because that's redneck shit i don't know just just this backyard wrestling count
00:48:18.220
yeah that's redneck yeah we were doing some of that in high school yeah so do you know if you picked
00:48:22.860
up any of those weights ever you would look better i i do and i did at the top of the show no no you
00:48:28.460
you did but you don't and that's i do i do no that was just mean that was just oh my god guys
00:48:35.340
wow don't do that don't do that i just i'm just i'm trying to motivate the motherfucker like look i'm
00:48:39.740
not gonna have a great physique but i live every fucking day and you get bigger dude just get bigger
00:48:45.100
dude i look i look like a fucking uh i don't know like uh bare knuckle boxer like that's kind of
00:48:51.820
what i think i speak for the group when i say clint you were you're kind of a dick there i'm just
00:48:55.740
just saying oh my god you're just high you're high and you're being sensitive i was meaner to him
00:49:00.540
all day than i just you know what though but this one just that one felt nothing about that i don't
00:49:04.940
know it felt mean because it wasn't in context like we were like going around the horn about
00:49:08.700
redneck music you know what about it the whole show i'm like i'm like look you got those weights
00:49:12.780
get a fucking jack i was just like you know toad you know you like no like less of that and then
00:49:19.500
don't do it you know don't do it suicide what was the question redneck shit oh yeah i already
00:49:27.820
answered uh lynch black people cole i'm trying to think and you've done so much i know that's
00:49:33.580
what it's like i under like in my head i'm like i know i've done something that's super redneck but
00:49:37.900
i just planted a shit under your grandparents house that's true i did you gave plasma i forgot
00:49:44.140
yes i did i did take a shit out of my grandparents house and i would go back and check on it years
00:49:48.060
after um trying to think what all your stories make you sound so retarded it's incredible
00:49:57.340
i wasn't jerking off i was shoving my balls into my body because i thought that's how you come i got
00:50:01.980
a great one uh me and my cousin at my grandparents house again they had two lawn mowers so that was
00:50:07.500
what we would use to play in the yard was lawn mowers um and so then we had the bright idea to
00:50:13.740
use uh take a football and we would play football on the lawn mower so he would have one he would go
00:50:18.700
long and i would just chuck it to him lawnmower football is awesome with the blades on that does
00:50:25.420
sound awesome with it with the blades on too i mean we could turn the blades up if we wanted to yeah
00:50:29.820
elizabeth knew she knew about the football lawn mowers and then we would also um
00:50:33.740
that's so dangerous dude yo that's the official sport of tower gang
00:50:46.060
also what's the uh what's the game you play whenever you try to it's not um chinese fire
00:50:51.340
drill but whenever it's whenever you're driving so whenever you have to get out of the car and
00:50:55.980
switch drivers by chinese that is what it's called yeah no no no not when you stop when you're when
00:51:01.500
you're going when you're actually driving oh it sounds like vehicle manslaughter
00:51:08.140
we would do that with lawnmowers so we would do that that sounds like a felony sir
00:51:12.700
our uh our lawnmowers we had um we would have trailers for them so we would have like a little
00:51:23.180
he's like well tell the redneck story he's like well me and my cousin and a lawnmower
00:51:26.700
it's like all right right there's redneck mine but so everything else is just extra
00:51:32.700
and then we would have a lawnmower trailer that all they would sit in and we would drive around
00:51:37.420
and so then it was a thing of like okay can the driver get into the trailer while we switch drivers
00:51:44.220
so the person in the trailer would come up and try to drive the lawnmower and we would still be going
00:51:47.660
the entire time don't lose speed at all so we would also so he would come up and i would have like my
00:51:54.060
foot on the gas pedal and he would come and put his foot on top of my foot and so what i would have
00:51:58.780
to and so he would then switch and so it's still going full speed and i would have to switch and he
00:52:03.340
said so we would do that all the time i mean it's incredible you're still alive 42 inch blades going
00:52:08.060
the whole time that's fucking crazy dude i mean i my this is at my grandpa's house who uh he was a
00:52:15.180
mechanic and so he had cars of the people that he was working on all and all in the yard and i i did
00:52:20.620
i've hit multiple times i've hit the cars we used to um explains the brain damage
00:52:27.980
there's one day where we we got crowbars and we just thought these cars out in the yard which were
00:52:32.620
what he was working on were just like junkers and so we went and we hit every light
00:52:40.540
we went through and just busted every headlight every brake light we i can't believe we didn't do
00:52:47.420
windows but we had a crow and then like we figured out like oh wait my grandpa had to pay
00:52:51.900
for all this because it was other people's cars he was working on wait this is again this is like
00:52:58.460
we're like like toad's always like i got a story to tell i'm really fuck you toad but then cole's
00:53:03.260
like i don't really have any stories and then shit like this comes up oh yeah i forgot i've stolen
00:53:08.380
i've stolen copper from construction abandoned construction work sites and uh for pills before
00:53:13.100
i mean my parents i mean it was my grandpa's house it's like if the kids went over to your
00:53:17.900
mumble up if if tops you know she's talking she's asking about when you were given all that plasma
00:53:23.420
where were your parents yeah right i i think about that like i just went and we were just like oh here's
00:53:30.540
some fun just busting fucking tail lights out on my cars and he was just like well i had to fix that
00:53:36.380
calling out to pay 300 this wasn't like technically redneck but it was uh it was during it was like
00:53:43.900
when jackass was becoming big and all of my friends were like not all of them there was like one guy
00:53:49.900
john mckinney he's out of his fucking mind i'll dox him he doesn't care um and he was like i think
00:53:56.140
he did it kenny of 37 truly lane i don't think i don't think he did it with me because i was always like
00:54:05.260
kind of risk averse but they would like jump from overpasses into moving vehicles and shit like
00:54:10.940
that like that's what i heard and then also they would uh i did see this one they would get into
00:54:16.220
shopping carts and then they would just rush them into a bush and like launch them into the bush
00:54:20.860
yeah it feels like cole would do that yeah i mean i was i was never like super super um
00:54:28.380
like daredevil-y but i mean i would like if it was you played football on a lawnmower sir
00:54:34.860
yeah that's crazy oh my god can we watch the video of you with the the new shooter and then
00:54:41.900
that kind of brings us into pictures uh that i think toad has for us right the shooter yeah we
00:54:46.540
have the shooter yeah i know i want to see there's one of the pictures
00:54:49.980
you didn't send it in the other group chat did you i don't know no this is the video though
00:55:03.180
yeah it was funnier with clint laughing and he sent us a video of his him laughing at the end
00:55:06.780
oh that's true oh i couldn't download it though yeah trace gallagher has that story for us hey trace
00:55:11.020
hey tucker police say this is a targeted attack and the social media footprint of the shooter is
00:55:16.140
providing a wealth of information and not just because 25 connor sturgeon can you imagine if one
00:55:22.060
of us did some shit they're taking through our instagram but also because he indicated the attack
00:55:27.820
was coming posting messages where he said they won't listen to words or protest let's see if they
00:55:33.820
hear this that's what toad said he left messages every day and family saying that he was going by
00:55:39.580
day i mean the trans and even reportedly posted group chat messages where he said i could burn the
00:55:45.260
whole place down get ready for it no criminal history his linkedin page here's the punchline
00:55:51.180
and the daily beast reports that in college he supported black lives matter and did not support
00:55:56.060
former president trump he also wrote about his low self-esteem come on emotional struggles
00:56:01.500
interesting that his former high school basketball teammates noted that sturgeon suffered
00:56:05.900
so many concussions in high school that he wore a helmet to play high school basketball
00:56:16.460
if you if you just said that and he just said boom roasted like after everything he's like
00:56:26.700
with a fucking nice jumper too that's a good jumper
00:56:29.260
that's a great form great like this fucking faggot
00:56:39.340
i seriously took so many charges i had a i had multiple concussions in high school as well
00:56:46.540
swear to god wow i went to the hospital oh it's because you're short
00:56:49.580
holy so people would run into your face no it was from hitting the my back of my head on the on
00:56:55.020
the uh on the door what the fuck you have weak neck no because i didn't i never learned how to tuck
00:57:01.020
i never learned how to tuck and so i would just go back
00:57:04.860
he followed his reaction wait a minute wait a minute hit the floor before it hit him
00:57:11.020
you take charges like you're getting ko'd by fucking mike tyson
00:57:13.740
because yo cool my mom if if i was younger she wouldn't let me be friends with you this is like
00:57:19.900
the shit that you told us over these episodes is so crazy that's incredible you
00:57:25.980
i had to uh so like um our high school like we weren't allowed so uh our coach was like
00:57:32.940
no like sleeves no like legging like nothing no nothing for that so it's only just shorts no
00:57:39.260
i think we could do like crew socks and that's about it i and when you fall you fall like a stone
00:57:48.700
when you fall loosen all the muscles in your body
00:57:54.860
i want to hear that hardwood that hardwood ain't softwood son i want to hear your hands you want to
00:57:59.660
be in the nba boy yeah i i uh no i was taking so many charges and i would i figured out after this
00:58:07.900
i was like okay i figured out how to tuck my like my dude i've taken thousands of charges i've never
00:58:12.380
had a concussion i played i don't know how to break my fall all soccer i've been like laid out many times
00:58:17.740
i was just tuck and roll and jump right back up no no so i and so i was doing it so much and i was
00:58:22.540
like i didn't figure it out i had to break the whole season i didn't know how to break my fall so i
00:58:26.140
just use my elbow tell you no no no listen listen the mechanics of like your natural instincts to
00:58:33.260
what is literally the uh the depiction of him the time with the retard helmet he actually
00:58:41.980
was that no listen so i like i was hitting my elbow so much because that's how i was bringing
00:58:46.300
the fall i was i would just put my right elbow back and it would just hit i was doing so much
00:58:50.140
that my elbow was starting to swell up and like bruise like really bad my dad had to go to my coach
00:58:55.020
and be like listen i gotta buy him a padded sleeve because he's literally hurting you wouldn't allow
00:59:00.940
it no no coach had to allow i was the only person i would look i look cool as fuck i had a uh arm
00:59:06.700
padded nike shooting sleeve oh you know it's crazy only person on the team i look cool as
00:59:12.060
fuck with that elbow sleeve in that now you know what this was it was all subconscious that colt he
00:59:16.860
didn't realize he did all this just so he could weasel his way into like covering his wrist a little
00:59:21.420
bit he didn't realize that i was like you know what i'm gonna give myself multiple concussions
00:59:26.140
and that's how i'm gonna do it take the picture down please while uh while cole was playing basketball
00:59:32.060
he was stuffing his balls all right god damn it so we i felt like we were really rolling
00:59:38.540
we were flying high i did not mean that as a joke i meant that in a literal way man you really would
00:59:44.620
have benefited from like i don't know a little bit of martial arts training because they do teach you
00:59:48.380
how to properly follow oh yeah i had no clue i like you're just like i was just i was taking
00:59:53.660
it by the way i would get charges called all the time dude i was the great i was because
01:00:01.340
of course they were calling charges dude because they were like you just killed this kid
01:00:05.340
he felt like fucking fucking woody and toy story yeah yeah he goes he goes they were calling charges
01:00:10.780
all the time granted i had to sit out the rest of the game every time or get wheeled off to a
01:00:16.940
fucking hospital i would get kids fouled out of the game on charges
01:00:22.220
no you didn't you were just where she was just like put this fucking very
01:00:33.900
i have a dead tooth from a charge because i had to get a root canal i had to get a root
01:00:39.740
canal from it i was bleeding during the game sometimes in both scores i'm like i hope to
01:00:45.900
god i hope he's just i hope he's lying and he's like this funny comedically but i believe you man
01:00:52.700
i think it's all real i think it's all real which makes it definitely real
01:00:56.860
i swear to god i i gotta i got a forehead straight to the tooth it's dead now it's i got a root canal and
01:01:02.540
everything man i it was it was it's cole was actually biting his head that's what was going
01:01:09.020
on oh man hey hey why cole why why did why did you know like like after like the 10th time your
01:01:15.420
coach wasn't like yo you got to keep your head off the ground
01:01:21.260
boy you're playing hard but you're playing a little too hard if you know what i'm saying
01:01:29.260
your head is is two times as big as when we started
01:01:35.020
you're looking like yaku young fella you're making me nervous
01:01:39.900
i have to remind you of your name after every game this is a big problem
01:01:44.140
like any sports movie like like the water boy they bring him in for that
01:01:59.260
they bring him in for the snap and they're like all right whatever you do you got to make first down
01:02:03.100
they're like listen listen we're down two points okay i need you to get in there cole and i need you
01:02:08.220
to take a fucking concussion for the team and cole goes in slow motion and just gets killed by some
01:02:13.100
huge black guy bro i was dude i love football so much this is the first football game i ever played
01:02:18.780
this is i played middle school football it was i was uh 12 years old 12 or 12 years old and uh
01:02:25.020
i was i was fast as shit uh because i had a big growth spurt during like fifth grade and so i
01:02:30.540
started playing in sixth grade never touching football before in my life so they put me a run
01:02:34.460
never do another inch either but good yeah that's true but like so i they put me at running back
01:02:39.100
the first game first snap it was a handoff to me i fumbled and then i kicked the ball i was trying
01:02:46.460
to pick i kicked the ball into the end zone and they scored a touchdown off of me kicking the ball
01:02:51.740
trying to pick it up so the rest of the game i'd never played i didn't play another step at running
01:02:56.140
back that entire season after that game i cried and after like because we lost
01:03:02.380
the next season i did play running back again and i scored like multiple touches i got way better
01:03:15.100
and i like i was the mvp of the team but like that that year was bad it was really fun though
01:03:20.860
playing basketball after football season and just like i did so there was a guy going on a fast break
01:03:26.060
i know him he's a friend of mine now i he went up for like a layup on a fast break i was behind him
01:03:32.060
i just trucked him into the wall and i just it was like the first game after football season
01:03:38.460
and i just it was a flagrant like two foul yeah you're out of the game dude i football tackled
01:03:43.740
the guy that my my last my the last in soccer the last game of my senior year and i knew we were losing
01:03:49.980
already and he'd been pissing me off all game i knew it's well and this like soccer was my sport i was
01:03:54.060
like all state that was like what i was really good at i'm still pretty damn good at it but like
01:03:57.740
i legit like he'd been being cheap like pissing me off all game i was fucking coming down off pills
01:04:04.700
i was kind of irritable like on top of all that and so i just like and that was defense the ball was
01:04:10.300
up and i just literally like full-on fucking like water boy fucking boom perfect like like tackle of
01:04:16.780
speared his ass and like almost hit him into his fucking his team's bleachers with like all the fans and
01:04:22.940
shit there and then i just kind of stood up and just backed away and like all the whole crowd was
01:04:30.220
like what the fuck and like but the ball was right there so the ref didn't see it so just play it while
01:04:36.780
we talk this is the fucking bit yeah just play it while we talk we don't have to stop talking but yes
01:04:41.180
i mean look at this little kid he's so happy he's so fucking happy it's rooney i do actually still
01:04:48.460
have my football highlights from um from middle school football uh if we ever want to watch this
01:04:54.380
i do have actually unironically i do yeah i know that legitimately i was very literally how i envisioned
01:05:03.820
go go the right way he's looking at us he doesn't know what direction to run
01:05:08.140
what's funny is i uh i do remember a certain play where like i
01:05:12.460
no and no they're not oh he's waving he's taunting he's waving goodbye what a little bit
01:05:22.860
i'm sure that's from a movie or some shit no it's a skit it's a skit it's a skit they were
01:05:27.580
fucking around but uh i did have one where i did like it was basically that i was the running back
01:05:34.060
and there was like a very small kid like playing like free safety and i could have easily juked for
01:05:39.260
a touchdown and instead i literally just lowered my shoulder and just fucking just shrugged the kid
01:05:44.700
i he tackled me but i just wanted to inflict them because like my coaches were retarded and they were
01:05:50.220
like no you gotta hit i was running back you well i mean this in all seriousness you were valedictorian
01:05:55.020
of your high school you said um and and i am like i had a 30 you need to get tested for cte
01:06:02.140
like you need to no your whole your whole school needs to get tested for cte if you're at the top of
01:06:07.340
the class yeah what the hell that's a good point yeah muhammad ali of whatever the fuck he is
01:06:14.780
like whatever role he fills yeah the muhammad ali of it well and muhammad ali also died of cte i might
01:06:21.500
call it just gonna be shaking like whatever cole is he's the best at it but i've seen it in the
01:06:37.180
like you have like mike tyson be like man i rumble young man rumblin loved you and he's just like i
01:06:43.100
i want to call why why do you think you didn't know to keep your head off the ground when you
01:06:53.020
like like it just seems like a totally natural i think it was just like i was just i when i took
01:06:57.740
the charge i i was thinking just hold on every bit of it and then just go down imagine this scenario
01:07:05.260
imagine this scenario like it it's like the culture war is over world war three is over
01:07:09.580
we win the like the right wins or whatever the the offensive comedy people win and then we
01:07:15.900
we go on to live like a long life and like tower gang is super successful and it's like our culture
01:07:21.740
is so eminent in in america that like to to light that big torch for the the olympics like things like
01:07:28.700
cold cold walking out someone's holding his arms he's just shaking to light the torch
01:07:39.580
yeah chronic traumatic encephalopathy oh no no i know 100 no no i i i understand
01:07:47.900
like i have what's the one thing the one reason that i think you might not have it is because you're
01:07:51.740
like your emotional stability is better than anyone i've ever met but like that also makes me think
01:07:56.780
that you have brain damage too because like my wife thinks i do yeah like the sad part of your brain
01:08:01.340
nothing ever fucking bothers you and i'm just like it goes both ways i think you're right dude
01:08:06.700
you got hit in the right part of your head man i became less womanly
01:08:12.220
dude i gotta i sort i got into sort of some like bell curve talk with my wife today i thought it was
01:08:17.420
kind of funny but particularly in relation to like men and women and i was pointing out like
01:08:20.700
men are way more frequent to be geniuses but women are way more frequent to be polymass you know being
01:08:25.740
smart in multiple fields because that's tends to be how your brains work and it's like to put it simply for
01:08:30.060
you i told her i was like essentially you guys are jack of all trades and we're the retards who play
01:08:34.220
piano really good like that's basically i love that you need to put it simply for you i i get i get very
01:08:41.740
horny okay is horny is horny and emotion that's actually a good question he has he's happy or an
01:08:48.620
action no that's yeah it's it's a biological impulse i get horny and happy okay that's about that's about
01:08:57.100
the two emotions i have oh guys i i wish i lived your life dude i wish i had the brain damage you
01:09:02.780
do because like i don't i have so many more emotions than you and like none of them are yeah yeah
01:09:07.580
again it's better it's like i keep all the good ones yeah it's like guys you're like you're like i
01:09:12.620
don't need this sad emotion i don't need this angry emotion i have happy and horny oh it's basically
01:09:17.180
like a dog like if a dog took over a person's body like no he's just like happy and then he's
01:09:22.300
getting sex like oh i'm really happy now the the answer to that uh mailbag question which uh
01:09:28.700
disability would you want i want whatever call has i want yeah coal disability yeah coal's like a
01:09:33.500
golden retriever that doesn't know how to take a charge properly
01:09:38.460
i'm telling you i literally i i woke up throwing up went to the hospital like concussion everything dude
01:09:44.940
it was bad like i it happened twice he's like the spider-man of ct like like everyone else that gets
01:09:51.580
bit by a spider it's either itchy or maybe poisonous but he got like bit by like the perfect
01:09:55.980
spiders like here's comedy here's good good winning good attitude he's just like and ended up on the
01:10:01.660
right side of me friends with everybody yeah yeah yeah i'm happy for you dude yeah good for you man
01:10:09.420
just don't get hit in the head again because like what if like all that gets undone i'm become an
01:10:13.180
asshole yeah it could flip in a minute dude maybe i shouldn't fight dave smith he'll punch me one
01:10:19.580
time and i'll just be like i'll go and beat my wife i for real want to get to a point where we're
01:10:25.740
fighting at like at or whether it's at like skank fest or some of our own events like i always think
01:10:31.420
it's so cool when you see like like different content creators and they're fighting for whatever
01:10:35.020
fucking reason like that seems cool i told you if i ever won the lottery me and toad were fighting
01:10:39.100
today why we're doing it today yeah the first thing i would ever do i told you if i won a lot of
01:10:43.180
the first thing i'd do was get start getting uh lessons on how to fight if we had if we had headgear i'd
01:10:47.820
probably do it dude i don't i just don't i don't want to get like fucking thanks i'm calling you
01:10:53.100
out let's go thanks dude dude jose would fuck up a lot of people you would you fuck up a lot of
01:11:00.860
most of the people at like 90 of the people i mean i'm not like i don't at all think i'm top tier but
01:11:05.500
i do think when i'm going through life probably you know 19 out of 20 people i'm like i could beat
01:11:09.980
the shit out of you but there's definitely like respect you could probably kick my ass that's crazy i
01:11:14.700
look at them and i wonder i wonder if they buy a shirt like that's where i'm in my life
01:11:20.460
i wonder if the uh this kink fest like whatever what's the fighting thing what they call it i
01:11:26.780
can't remember the elismania elismania i think you would fuck up most of the guys that entered that
01:11:31.500
i mean maybe because it's just boxing you might have a little bit harder time honestly i would like
01:11:36.780
to see jose versus lewis would be pretty cool yeah i think lewis could take me box it well
01:11:41.900
fuck he'd probably take me in both but it'd be a good fight this is a big boy i think he beat me
01:11:45.420
i think oh i don't know like louis's stand-up game is weak i hope he sees this too because i'm telling
01:11:51.260
him the truth i don't like i have amazing stand-up games we should play that video i said i said that
01:11:55.980
this is what clint thinks he is whenever with his punches i don't like you watch that i'm doing i look
01:12:00.780
i know you i know you think i'm fucking around every time i've laid hands on somebody they are
01:12:06.060
flatlined honestly i think we should little dicky if you can get that video it's so fucking great it's on
01:12:11.660
instagram so i don't know if you can actually get it here's what we gotta do like we're gonna hang
01:12:15.100
out children flatline every single time we're hanging out on thursday we gotta we're hanging
01:12:21.580
out on saturday we gotta find one of those uh punching machines yeah i gotta see i gotta see a
01:12:25.580
number yeah i put a number to this and i have i have unbelievable pinpoint accuracy i think it's
01:12:31.980
because i have tiny little fists so whenever i hit i always hit him right on the button every time i
01:12:36.860
punch someone in the face it has been a complete ko i'm not pounds per square inch to the left
01:12:41.900
surface exactly yeah exactly i feel like with my tiny hands i'd be like fucking knocking they're like
01:12:47.260
pistons yeah there's this yeah when uh when clinton lewis's stand-up game is weak i thought he was
01:12:53.020
referring to his entire career oh no he would take that more personally than me saying oh yes yes oh my
01:13:01.340
god yes watch this this is so great this is this is the dude goes down immediately sleepy time i did
01:13:08.300
that too i did that to fat carl volume do volume because the end of this is so great if you can do
01:13:12.060
volume yes knock it off this guy oh this guy got out too he's cold he cold himself
01:13:19.020
and his head landed on the pavement by the way so that might be dead
01:13:24.620
no he's he's alive he's alive oh i just killed you bitch
01:13:29.260
the other dude's still asleep though the other dude's still asleep
01:13:33.020
the white woman afterwards screaming into her boyfriend
01:13:43.180
brandon wake up like shaking his head because that's that one that just
01:13:47.820
run at him and completely miss and then hit his head on the concrete yes he got
01:13:52.700
i imagine how awful it is to like regain consciousness to your woman fucking screaming in
01:13:56.700
your ear oh god look up a nightmare but this is the crazy part most people that do want to fight
01:14:02.220
don't realize that like this shit happens all the time that like people get knocked out by accident
01:14:06.700
sometimes just fucking around friends it's not fun he lands the fucking right on him he he caos him
01:14:12.140
and then his head hits the concrete on the way down so he got double ko'd i think that's where you can
01:14:17.740
actually like legit like the people i told you guys the story about fat carl right in the garage
01:14:21.980
where he should himself yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah i thought i killed that motherfucker he slept
01:14:26.620
all night he like wow it's crazy that he's alive it's fucking it's a miracle he's i think it happens
01:14:33.180
more often than we think that somebody gets punched their head hits the side of a concrete curb and they're
01:14:37.740
out for like ever or just like or because they're they're very much brain wells and then it's just game
01:14:43.580
over because i mean it's like and we just put a blanket on this motherfucker and said see you in the
01:14:47.980
morning and he and he was alive it's it's fucking great that's what they did for me every basketball
01:15:05.500
they keep him in a casket and just wheel him out for game
01:15:09.980
my coach is also my math teacher too he's like by the way homework's still
01:15:13.180
fucking dude you're like i can't even remember my name you think i'm gonna remember this quadratic
01:15:18.060
equation motherfucker dude oh no that's a great idea for your bit because you get ko'd every game
01:15:24.220
so every game they wheel you out in a uh casket and then you can you rise like the undertaker
01:15:31.020
little dicky please pull up that that thread from the chat yes jesus before before we forget
01:15:35.900
because now you guys got me on the uh the egyptian thread oh yeah we're gonna do the egyptian
01:15:41.500
thing yeah for brian especially i didn't i didn't find the translator black dude very funny at all
01:15:45.580
so let's just do mummy all right translator black i mean like the like regular black dude from yeah
01:15:51.580
yeah like the premise is funny and it's like a quick little chuckle but so far as like watching
01:15:56.220
the videos yeah all right top says this is funny let's see what it says i can a result of takabuti
01:16:03.100
the famous 2600 year old ancient egyptian mummy on display at the ulster museum show that her dna
01:16:10.300
is more genetically similar to europeans rather than modern egyptian populations dna results
01:16:14.780
published in nature communication mummy by the way let's do it scroll down
01:16:23.900
like thanks i don't know what do you think she she's like a dead seven
01:16:30.620
scientists have trending by the way scientists have captured sweeping genomic information from
01:16:35.740
egyptian mummies revealing that north africans have different genetic roots from people south
01:16:41.100
of the sahara desert mummy dna reveals ancient egyptian ancestry yeah queen i don't know if i don't
01:16:49.340
know if i need to read that she's got she's got like red hair that chick that chick well this is
01:16:54.940
ireland so they must be he's got blonde hair yeah all right so it's a chick and it's white so right so what
01:17:02.220
what is it what is interesting about this top it's we are we the best baby yeah
01:17:08.540
look at that fucking nose that is a jewish nose i've ever seen this this is basically like
01:17:12.620
these people that are saying we was king shit there it is there it is yeah there it is yeah so this is
01:17:18.300
like uh jacob but for but for the arabs essentially so so long long ago there there was an arab version of
01:17:26.220
jacob who bred away oh what the fuck are you talking about this i know what he's saying he's saying
01:17:31.420
jacob is really the story of the other way around he's taking it to a really yeah mega racist place
01:17:37.100
that's what i'm saying big brain he's taking it to a mega
01:17:40.940
brain and there's a nugget of money in there pull it up pull it up one more time just the picture
01:17:49.180
tapestry he may fuck up but the first mummy look look this mummy has blonde hair so they're they're
01:17:55.100
inferencing that that all of the like the pharaohs of ancient egypt were white yeah with blonde hair
01:18:02.380
and it's just so funny to me because like fair i also don't know what happens to hair when you leave
01:18:07.580
it for 6 000 years or whatever the fuck like whatever in bombing fluid they drop it yeah yeah
01:18:13.820
well they're saying the dna i just i'm just thinking about like i'm telling you this is a narrative i have
01:18:18.940
and i want to go with it so dude this motherfucker looks like the the new the new owner of the raiders
01:18:25.020
have you ever seen his haircut he's doing he's doing blackface it's like it's like a triple
01:18:30.060
joe i don't know how you guys don't see this like black people think that they were kings but then
01:18:34.140
they actually weren't and now the people who were kings the white people are doing black
01:18:38.060
face with blonde hair there we go dude this looks just like him dude mark davis looks like
01:18:44.540
looks like one picture is worth a thousand haircuts man dude he looks like they took uh john gruden and
01:18:49.580
embalmed him dude that's a dude like if he stays out in the sun too long i uh yeah i like it i like
01:18:59.580
this thesis dude all right yeah white people have ran shit forever i i think we already kind of knew that
01:19:03.580
yeah get out of here with that yeah black people never ran shit that's just i'm sorry
01:19:09.660
dna proves it okay tot is a white guy though do we really want to claim him why not because he was
01:19:15.820
like a 13 year old retard i do find it funny that like the narrative is always like oh we used to run
01:19:22.940
shit at one point and then you guys run it and then that world but like hey we're going to get it back
01:19:27.180
in the future no bitch we've run this the whole time and it's crazy it's been
01:19:34.700
yeah our blonde hair blue i've been running shit forever forever we've been number one forever you
01:19:41.500
can't take it y'all y'all y'all think y'all think you're gonna get reparations there ain't no reparations
01:19:45.820
when there was nothing taken from you it was always ours they was kings yeah you think you think the
01:19:54.220
jews i had to flee egypt they took over that bitch whoa oh shit oh shit new top thread dropping
01:20:02.860
oh god conspiracy theory oh shit how did that how did that bizarre meandering conspiracy theory
01:20:11.420
thread get so viral like what what big account yeah yeah what did it get to people got so there's
01:20:18.860
that there's like 600 000 views on it or something like that it's crazy and i don't know i think uh
01:20:23.980
so it went and i had like 200 likes on it or 150 likes and then it went again a couple days later
01:20:30.220
how many views are on this yeah like 550 that's got a really awful ratio yeah it's an awful really got
01:20:35.500
caught on yeah fucking circles are like look at this fucking bag despite all the scientific
01:20:41.580
evidence to the contrary the quote the quote tweets on this are vicious yeah it's so funny really yeah
01:20:47.100
oh this is a nice one oh this is a nice one oh this is a nice one oh this is a nice one yeah
01:20:58.700
so this one's good anyway there was an angel race of giants of two rows of teeth
01:21:03.180
these people these people are all communists too like the ones that are doing this all right
01:21:19.340
start a thread it's weird that ai fucks up hands end of thread so anyway there was an ancient race of
01:21:25.020
giants with two rows of teeth and six fingers on each end and it's a digital ouija board
01:21:29.900
and it's a pathway for demons to invade our world and literally come inside our women
01:21:49.180
i'm serious dude that's so fucking cool that's the craziest part like it's not and just like
01:21:53.980
swap out words people the the thing that like the people are like yeah oh yeah this
01:21:59.340
this this fucking tranny this fucking destroyed brain is talking about people
01:22:03.580
that have carbon dioxide to take over the home yeah i'm like no that's not that's cold that's not
01:22:07.100
me i'm making sense over here and these oh my god little dicky
01:22:19.820
all right this is great content guys it literally won't let me send it wow good thank you elon this
01:22:35.500
bit was getting old save it all right yeah elon knew man yeah the quote tweets on this are kind of
01:22:42.060
vicious and hilarious like i was going and scrolling through them like that's hilarious blocked
01:22:48.380
just to be clear about this this whole thing started because of an ai image of a hand with six
01:22:54.540
fingers right no no multiple no no ai can't do hands it's like it always looks it up
01:23:00.940
if you remember the whole like um ai is making like um instagram influencers like women like they
01:23:08.220
would have all like these blonde women in bikini and stuff they would never show their hands ever
01:23:12.460
like you look at all of them they would always have their hands behind something wait how many
01:23:16.300
how many women uh have i jerked off to who are fake that's gonna become a thing yeah it's crazy
01:23:22.780
because i feel like it already has been i feel like we are we are in constant communication with
01:23:27.980
a robot like one of the people that always comments on our shit or likes our stuff
01:23:31.980
it's probably a robot and we'll like we'll find out years later that's how we're we're living a
01:23:36.140
strange ass time but that we're talking to you yeah josie josie doesn't exist we'll see i hate it
01:23:41.820
so much i hate only in my dreams i gotta say real quick what what i love about that thread is that
01:23:49.660
it starts off in a you know like as they as they said it starts off in a relatively benign
01:23:54.380
direction and then it just goes it goes like yeah i was like what's the deal with hands
01:23:58.940
yeah he will fucking kill you without but at the end i'm like i'm like like three quarters of the
01:24:07.980
way through you start to go like all right no this is like there's demons in the ai and i was like
01:24:11.900
all right i'm with you i'm with you and then it and then it goes and they're trying to come in the
01:24:16.300
women and i was like yes that's right i don't know he's like i come in woman so why would demons do
01:24:24.140
that too that this doesn't make sense it just it's just like it's just such a fantastic it's
01:24:28.940
such a fun read i i really want you to do more of those please i thought that i when i constructed
01:24:33.580
it i was like i had to switch some tweets around to make it more like okay i'm just going to hit
01:24:37.820
you a little bit here and now we're getting crazy dude it builds like an m night shamalan
01:24:43.260
with a choice that actually matters like it's awesome you know what hands no one else has hands
01:24:49.500
they have two rows of teeth and they're trying to come in your bitches did you know we caught one
01:24:54.700
in kandahar not too long ago hey who was the bad guy and that's the meme me talking to a girl in a
01:25:01.740
club just with all this like yeah yeah that's a great that's a meme yo yeah actually i mean i'm
01:25:07.820
totally doing that i'm just like copying whatever the fuck that guy said that communist yeah yeah that
01:25:12.860
was the best one yeah oh that's yeah funny dude i i honestly though in all in all honesty though the
01:25:18.460
thread was a lot of fun but i 100 believe this shit like to my heart i yeah i know okay now i'm
01:25:23.180
just i'm gonna know who i believe you believe everything you say hey top top who was the enemy
01:25:29.420
and princess bride six-fingered man yeah yeah yeah man was the enemy that's right i mean the reason
01:25:38.220
the reason hollywood's fucking telling you the reason the reason i have to tell you the reason i love
01:25:43.260
the thesis the reason i love the thesis so much is because it doesn't make any sense that ai that
01:25:50.540
no no no that ai can't get five fingers like it should just be like a simple input yeah it makes
01:25:56.540
no sound fingers at five that's it that's all you know what's great i'm a developer and i still think
01:26:02.060
it makes no sense i wrote in i wrote in a lobster fighting a toad in like this style like yeah and it
01:26:08.140
was like here you go like yeah but you can't do fucking fingers yeah no man there's something
01:26:13.020
strange about that by the way what's harder hands like fingers or faces i've heard for i've heard from
01:26:17.900
some that hands are way harder hands are harder because there's a lot of like your face can only
01:26:22.620
do a couple expressions your hands can be like any and and the way it folds if you're fatter
01:26:28.380
i feel like that is a perfectly i i do think it is weird like they should be able to do hands better
01:26:33.180
than they do like but it i feel like that would make sense that that might be the limitation i feel
01:26:38.300
don't think you put like way too many teeth also i feel like though here's so anytime we talk about
01:26:43.580
like like anything that borders conspiracy jose's like you know i don't really know about that or
01:26:48.700
like i want you to come on i like i like following along literally fucking yeah but i will
01:26:57.180
fucking bring the facts for that shit yeah but also but also i i don't know i wouldn't be surprised
01:27:02.620
there was cum on his face and that cum was linked to a certain fbi informant
01:27:08.620
i like i like conspiracy theories that are unfounded yeah i like that i like it better
01:27:14.460
actually yeah i like both i loved it it wasn't the big one that was the same triply right i find
01:27:20.860
him broiling myself i find him broiling myself in the kind of stuff i find him broiling myself the
01:27:28.940
type of stuff you like top and like sam triply and stuff like if anything i actually find that
01:27:33.260
helps me to think about like like real true conspiracy like like whatever you want to call
01:27:37.900
that stuff like okay because i'm able to like insulting real true it is consulting i'm like
01:27:42.940
listening i'm like let me see how they weave their threads of like how they understand and i'll be like
01:27:48.300
okay well maybe i don't jump on at that point but you know what then they made another interesting
01:27:51.980
connection here and i kind of apply that same logic but with like all right but can i actually
01:27:56.540
back that up you're six months and five psyops away from being where i am you're on the path it's
01:28:03.180
over it's over for you once you understand the okc story i'm already there but at a spot to where
01:28:08.460
it's like i don't know i'm still not jumping it's so easy um it's like you're like every libertarian
01:28:13.900
is six months from being an anarchist every anarchist is like six months from being like uh
01:28:18.540
fucking white nationalists and every white nationalists six months from being top lobster
01:28:22.300
fucking conspiracy yeah that that's the pipeline that's the fucking and top has already traversed
01:28:26.860
the white supremacist uh like quadrant of this there you go yeah that's the one dude the um
01:28:33.260
the the hollywood shit is definitely real incredible uh also think about the six million dollar man
01:28:38.300
what's going on with that hmm what about it six million jokes i mean i guess though i mean yeah
01:28:45.260
six no man six million dollar man but the idea of anyway the idea of ai being like a demon or like
01:28:52.300
a ghost in a jar kind of thing that's an idea from vin armani so i kind of like he's been saying that
01:28:57.660
and i i've been every time he says that yeah from his name is first time he said that i was like
01:29:04.860
this guy's weird the second time i was like maybe and now now i'm like no he's i feel like that's how top
01:29:10.860
functions in life all the time like first time he hears anything kind of dismisses it second time
01:29:15.740
he's like i'm listening and third he believes whatever the fuck you say so if you just wait
01:29:20.940
anything to him three times he's like i'm fucking now they know my secret when is top gonna take
01:29:27.420
that trajectory with me though okay so what side are you on on the roko's back
01:29:33.020
top you won't have gay sex top you won't have gay sex top you won't have gay sex ah
01:29:37.660
fuck now i gotta do it uh roko's basilisk what side are you on oh i don't even know what that is
01:29:45.020
oh you don't know oh that's great but i forget it so this is this is basilisk yeah so this is some
01:29:49.740
anime bullshit no so this this was his guy on roke uh his name was uh we need to stand right now
01:29:56.780
yeah but he he was on like 4chan or something and he put he like put forward this um uh it's
01:30:04.700
basically a thought experiment that's what it is and so he basically is faster than you're going to be
01:30:09.140
able to explain whatever damage basically basically a super intelligence if it does if there's super
01:30:13.600
intelligent ai in the future which can at that point it literally knows everything so and it can
01:30:18.780
even go back in time and change things would you it would it go after people that were against it
01:30:24.540
and so would you be against it or would you be helping ai and therefore helping out for it to
01:30:30.380
come to fruition so like would you be the person that would be going against the ai and trying to
01:30:35.800
stop it in which case if it comes to like if it actually happens it would come back in time and
01:30:41.120
fucking kill you and your family or would you be like i'm gonna help it in the thought that
01:30:44.840
hopefully it would be merciful to me are you some time paradox bullshit is that all you're saying
01:30:50.220
it's not necessarily it's it's a thing of like okay would you help ai in the thought that it would
01:30:55.620
uh yeah but it's it's it's it's a pretty cool thing to think about like how would you would you
01:31:00.600
be on the side of helping ai or trying to stop it in the sense that if you try to stop it it would
01:31:05.560
see you as a threat it would see you do a bit of of cole explains concepts i tried to i tried to
01:31:13.000
explain to elizabeth last week so my dick gets hard i started with candy bars man i was like
01:31:20.560
listen if i gave you one candy bar how much value is that you like i don't think you understand how
01:31:25.140
much i had to pick through your words yeah that's diminishing returns i like how elizabeth
01:31:30.460
playing inflation elizabeth has been to like the lp national convention or whatever and she's like i
01:31:35.920
don't know what inflation is just don't give a fuck why do we even need money listen because i'll
01:31:41.940
tell you why this happened because so she finally got uh caught because uh with our license plate
01:31:46.900
not getting renewed for three years uh four years it was 2019 the last time it got renewed and so she
01:31:52.180
got pulled over finally and the cop gave her the ticket so she had to go get it uh get the rights
01:31:55.860
it was like 350 to get like it uh the new tag and then she just say you're on your way to do it
01:32:01.920
just go to court in may and get you save money so that was the thing and i said listen it's actually
01:32:07.720
better that we pay it now because of inflation the money was worth more three two one two three years
01:32:13.480
ago it was worth more to us and she was like what do you mean it was worth more there was no fines
01:32:18.140
included the fine is going it's in may in may she has to go to court and the my the fine was like
01:32:25.360
25 yeah but how much how much did the registry how much would the registration of cost three the back
01:32:31.200
taxes on registration was 350 okay so that's that is the amount that you would have added that's so
01:32:36.980
low my god that's low because i just renewed mine and it was like 40 bucks or something so i don't
01:32:42.380
know what's going on here it was that was the back taxes on it so but and so i was like no listen the
01:32:47.080
the money was worth more to us then it was worth more like by a significant margin it was worth more
01:32:57.100
in the same way all we had to do was clear two years and we make recoup our our money
01:33:05.680
right you're technically right i think so he tries to explain she doesn't understand so he starts to
01:33:12.740
tell her about chocolate bars i was like listen if i gave you one chocolate bar how much is that
01:33:18.580
worth to you what if i give you mid explanations he just runs into him and he flops i was actually
01:33:27.460
driving the car i wish i wish there was video of you taking charges in elementary school that
01:33:32.500
shit would be fucking yeah i actually i actually do have videos of also every uh basketball game
01:33:37.400
oh dog dog you need one of your one of your classic charge takes yeah
01:33:42.920
i need to show it to my kids to teach them how to not take a big ass head and like fucking
01:33:49.520
concrete because we didn't we were we were too poor to pay a play on the hardwood floor
01:33:53.780
i want the full experience like you little you hitting the ground that kind of like like i'm not gonna
01:34:00.840
cole doesn't have emotions man he doesn't cool cool are you serious that you fucking it was not on
01:34:09.400
hardwood you were doing this on concrete we uh my like your high school basketball team high school
01:34:13.960
basketball court played on painted concrete this episode this episode is like what's the it should
01:34:19.620
be named what's the most redneck thing and it's like everything cole has said is just i've
01:34:25.800
i think i might have one maybe and he's got like 50 all right i gotta tell you guys something and we
01:34:32.240
probably gotta get out of here but fuck it i just remembered am i not my daughter's like a couple
01:34:37.060
soccer games back i don't know how i haven't told you this my daughter got knocked out by getting hit
01:34:41.160
by the soccer ball so fucking hard because one of the kids on the team like just held more concussions
01:34:45.760
in uh in soccer by the way than football and it hit her like right in her solar play like right in the
01:34:51.120
middle and it like she kind of for a second was like like it was like she hyperventilated for a
01:34:57.900
second because she like like i couldn't breathe and then she passed out and she got up and like
01:35:03.280
got up it was just kind of like oh it's fine went right back to practice i was just like
01:35:06.900
my kids are fucking it's funny because like all the other parents are like oh my god and like i saw
01:35:12.140
it happen as it was happening i'm like oh she's fine she's not yeah that's somebody walking to
01:35:17.220
check on her you didn't think she was dead i mean like like kids get hit in the chest all the time
01:35:22.200
i've had that happen before it's called kamashio codis jose you're paying attention
01:35:27.980
that's right i'm telling you every every every quarter almost every quarter played on was
01:35:32.680
either uh concrete tile or uh tile i swear to god i played on multiple of course that tile it
01:35:39.980
was tile floors like bathroom tile like like it was all flat but it was it was tile it was like
01:35:46.120
there was no like ridges to it but it was definitely tile you were trying to rack up crack tiles and
01:35:51.060
your grandma's sitting over here with motherfucking pony money and you're and you're playing ball on
01:35:56.000
tile i i played i played i played a game in a barn in a legitimate barn it did have hardwood but it
01:36:02.180
had basketball on grass so much dead spot they also had a kid the only real basketball court in
01:36:07.840
alabama exists in a barn did i hear that correctly
01:36:11.160
the same one in the barn with the with the with the multiple dead spots at halftime they got to cut
01:36:22.120
the grass they had a guy with like um i don't know how to explain it he had um like withered legs
01:36:32.000
like he only my upper body like he could walk he could walk but it was like it was like his legs
01:36:38.280
didn't work and so he would shoot threes without jumping he would hook shot him in and he would walk
01:36:44.520
every fucking time alabama is not even a real place
01:36:47.760
i actually went to a summer camp where we played basketball in a barn and uh and my dad was my dad
01:36:57.080
was the coach at the time it was haunted he was yelling at the ref because he was like that's a
01:37:01.380
walk he he just and he was like just because he's crippled doesn't mean you can't call a walk
01:37:06.360
like every time his dad's in the stands just badgering kids he would make it too he was good
01:37:14.960
like he but he was he was and he was like jacked upper body no legs at all it was how did he go up
01:37:20.820
and down the court just kind of like oh yeah he was just fucking like john fetterman yeah
01:37:24.840
oh god there was oh by the way this is what uh my uh my wife's uh the the place she went to high
01:37:40.120
school at i think it was theirs uh they actually got the pacers hardwood floor it was the pacers floor
01:37:46.560
what actually happened is the truck but no the truck broke down on the way up from bringing it
01:37:51.940
from florida to indiana and it broke down and so we're just like hey you want the hardwood and
01:37:57.520
they were like sure and so they took the hardwood floor from the pacers and put it down as their own
01:38:02.220
was the wood gonna expire or something why would they just i don't i guess they i think it had like
01:38:07.800
it broke down i think it had like a little water damage to it and so they're just like listen the
01:38:13.000
patients aren't gonna want it and like we're here so like do you want it and they're like yeah sure
01:38:17.420
and they put it down so it was like that was like the best court we played on so they played so
01:38:20.720
it had the pacers logo too no no they put their own logo but it was like it was for the pacers like
01:38:26.340
it was their hardwood floor all right guys you ready to get the fuck how did you how did your head
01:38:31.800
feel bouncing off of that i'm pretty sure i did i'm pretty sure i did take like a charge in that
01:38:36.020
multiple charges in the game as well also my um my coach almost my coach almost got in a fight in
01:38:40.720
that game too that was a crazy one i have an important question before we get out of here
01:38:43.840
cold did you was your did your coach advise you just to stay in the paint and take charges like
01:38:49.320
like how are you taking so many charges that's a scam like like they probably paid for that wood
01:38:55.120
but they're like did you know that this was a paces wood paces wood i'll pay twice you know
01:39:00.180
that's the same that's the same bullshit scam that they ran by my college there would always be
01:39:04.040
these dudes like they were usually armenian because you know racism uh but they would drive
01:39:07.900
around in vans and they would say yo i got these uh surplus like radio systems or stereo systems
01:39:15.160
uh i'm selling them super discount i can't i can't return it and i bought one of them it was
01:39:19.620
fucking really good serious one yeah exactly but it's like it's like a well-known scam though you
01:39:25.720
you pretend like it's like stolen goods so you sell it to someone but in fact it's just bootleg so
01:39:30.040
it's like not actually worth anything so uh i i was just i was very quick and fast and so i was just
01:39:36.660
very good on defense but i just didn't know how to take charge so i would always get in front of
01:39:39.700
my player my like the offense player and he would you i mean this is like did you try and sell it or
01:39:45.180
did you just like yes oh yeah because if i ever did you try to sell it yeah he threw his head into
01:39:49.680
the fucking head's heavy if i ever got elbow i would fucking sell it and if i ever like really got
01:39:58.020
elbow i would hit the floor and you know the real way to sell it is to let that noggin bounce
01:40:02.940
i wouldn't do this to myself i wouldn't damage my own brain
01:40:10.080
like the the the solution to every one of your problems depression everything maybe you need to
01:40:17.900
take a couple charges pound your head in the wall yeah that's the rebrand yeah no yeah like
01:40:23.260
rebrand maybe every other day dude you're a street baller now that's your fucking thing
01:40:28.880
you gotta wear like big n1 shorts if you can still find them big t-shirt where you can call
01:40:35.520
but you also have to have brain damage did we ever go to the uh fucking like
01:40:42.320
like street courts and actually play with the black people yeah i had before yeah my dad i remember
01:40:47.620
watching uh pistol pete like the movie or whatever the one thing about him and he my dad was like
01:40:52.320
listen you need to go to you need to go to the street courts and play the black people because
01:40:57.760
that's how you get better at basketball my dad told me that i would definitely do that
01:41:02.400
playing soccer in tennessee i had to do that with mexicans yeah you don't always have random packs of
01:41:09.120
mexicans playing somewhere and i'd be like hello the mexican yeah mexican apartments in my hometown
01:41:16.000
the mexican apartments in my hometown built their own fucking goal outside of their
01:41:22.060
apartments because like the goal because they don't fuck around and go to mexico city every
01:41:26.560
day playing soccer yeah and that's like the best practice because they're all like they're honestly
01:41:31.180
for some reason mexicans are awful like playing position wise but so far as like ball handling like
01:41:36.500
passing like that type of stuff phenomenal so they're great for like to practice with uh and also
01:41:42.100
you can like murk them just with like good positional skills like just common sense stuff but
01:41:47.100
learn a lot about soccer practicing yeah this is just bringing up the like stories about playing
01:41:51.820
basketball and the little stupid fucking shit i said while playing basketball at street courts but
01:41:57.080
i gotta tell one quick story about my brother i gotta tell one quick story about my brother before we
01:42:01.580
get out of here colin shout out to you buddy uh he he was eight years younger than me and i and i uh i
01:42:07.500
taught him how to play because i played basketball in high school too and and so by the time i hadn't seen
01:42:12.120
him for a while because i had like gone away to school and my little brother's in middle school at
01:42:15.220
the time and i come back and i haven't seen him play in a few years and he is so excited that i'm there
01:42:21.620
and i had no i i didn't know that he was showing off because i was there but he was like he was gonna
01:42:25.600
floss for his big brother you know and and i'm sitting there next to my dad and colin uh we were both
01:42:31.860
big kobe bryant fans so colin is just jacking three like nba threes and he's fucking swishing them
01:42:37.900
and he's doing little dances down the court like the whole fucking way like this and i'm like i i
01:42:42.780
look at my dad i'm like does he do does is this his is this is this what he does now and my dad's
01:42:48.840
just like no he's just trying to show up he did it all for me dude it was so cute but the entire game
01:42:56.180
he is just fucking flossing on people it was the coolest shit i've ever seen awesome nice anyway
01:43:02.480
that's a good place to leave it uh guys i told could you please take us out with this please yeah
01:43:07.360
one more time for the people who miss it at the end we got to catch it in the beginning
01:43:10.480
thank you very much toad yeah i did do it at the beginning but yeah all right guys let's say all
01:43:15.720
the mean shit we want to see oh yeah dude oddy man oh dude yo toad you can't even extend your arm
01:43:23.080
those are what 40s that's not bad that's 30s those are you have to you have to the most
01:43:33.780
all the way all the way all the way yeah go lower the way you go all the way all the way
01:43:40.140
you can't curl it all the way you ain't curling shit it needs a trainer i'm telling you get get go
01:43:47.540
down the way and uh full extension you'll get there we go there we go there merch merch engine dot com
01:43:53.600
where are you gonna be all the way i will be in uh tampa this weekend for students for liberty and uh
01:44:00.900
top and jose and josey will all be there so you guys will be there and then the following weekend
01:44:06.860
i will be in tennessee debating destiny and nashville go to take human action tour.com to pick up
01:44:11.000
tickets and the following weekend i will be in austin texas for the take human action tour
01:44:15.160
if you guys are in texas or tennessee you best come see me hoe
01:44:19.520
oh yeah jose yeah uh i have a no way jose show i will be like you said i'll be meeting up with him
01:44:28.980
uh yeah that's that's keith uh look at your head bro oh uh anyways uh fucking
01:44:36.480
yeah i have no way jose show uh the only thing plug watch out april 19th it's it's if you're
01:44:44.980
interested in the okc stuff it's the big one i'm not gonna announce what it's it's a surprise you'll
01:44:50.100
find out the day of but april 19th is the the anniversary of those on the sea bomb but go on
01:44:55.020
it's like i'll follow me at tower game on twitter dickie wants to display his video i can't remember
01:44:59.240
i think it was pretty funny uh it was just a montage of us it could be an outro it's pretty funny
01:45:05.260
yeah you played an outro uh i'm talking to cole on twitter uh fat dave i haven't tweeted very much
01:45:10.300
at all i've been very busy at work but uh not not busy enough to fucking drop 15 different
01:45:16.020
instagram things for me to look at every day that's true i do on instagram i wish i wish there
01:45:21.040
was something i could do to drop because those are fucking hilarious every one of them are
01:45:25.320
dime pieces no i appreciate i think i'm the only one that appreciates it but i do
01:45:29.320
tower game toad fucking follow me on twitter obviously get me back over 7 000
01:45:34.760
uh tower game pod patreon.com slash tower game pod tower game pod on youtube rumble odyssey
01:45:42.520
whatever i think on odyssey we're actually still tower power or whatever little dickie's tower
01:45:47.020
little dickie pull up big dickie's uh tweet from the group chat and take us out with that thank you
01:45:52.580
we love you we'll see you next wednesday or saturday maybe if you come saturday or
01:45:57.020
something like that you so happy to be in florida yeah you bitches we're real happy
01:46:02.040
i had my penis out pre-show oh did you i had mine on last i don't know if you saw that during the
01:46:08.540
whoever was playing during the intro little dickie and toad and jose are the ones i could see it
01:46:12.480
what was going on no i was i was lifting weights oh i missed it i never looked at it i had my penis
01:46:16.720
out god damn it it's still going weird we're gonna play an outro video we're banned
01:46:22.780
left there it is all right see i take dig me off
01:46:26.240
you render it down into soap and then you clean the toilet seat yeah and we want to be very clear
01:46:31.240
here we don't want the state to do this we don't want individual
01:46:33.860
fat people shouldn't be allowed to own guns either
01:46:39.160
what if you what if you do wait for marriage toad and then it turns out that the girl has like a
01:46:44.860
three inch clit or she's got like a very like a very shallow pussy i would sell a gun to a retarded
01:46:50.960
person before i would sell a gun to a train that's true they are pretty they're really nice like
01:46:55.220
all down people are like really nice they would probably only fall down to kill a train
01:47:02.040
idiots out there that are soaping down their chicken fuck you know how much that soapy chicken
01:47:15.240
we can take all the black uh libertarians and uh like figure out which one meets the most
01:47:23.180
i take your own wash chicken and raise you some motherfucking bleep's chicken
01:48:08.600
i want to get a an amy winehouse tattoo and i want to get it like a her just like really high on stage
01:48:14.880
stage she's inspired me that's what i want to put that maybe like right on my face right here