Tower Gang - Ep 119 - The Paraplegic Paradox

00:00:00.000 what's up retards i'm trying to start a cult here baby so i can only fit a third of my dick 1.00

00:00:08.520 into toads mussy you want to kill me or you want to give me a boner i don't know 1.00

00:00:14.820 when i say fuck the jews it means i'm horny 1.00

00:00:17.880 hello is me i'm retarded have you guys ever had the mythical where they put the whole thing in 1.00

00:00:23.500 and then do that shit with it the three of you had a threesome of some kind i was watching it and 0.99

00:00:30.700 jerking off he was a tin in real life she's like a dead eight 1.00

00:00:39.620 lewis you're like a brother to me donald trump come on tower gang that is the most offensive podcast 1.00

00:00:47.700 fat dave fuck you man 1.00

00:00:49.640 it's not what this show is about this shit is retarded 1.00

00:00:57.800 what it do tower gang is in the motherfucking building let's run this video real quick 1.00

00:01:05.320 yeah let's do it say to all our fans yeah exactly 1.00

00:01:09.140 that's so gay 1.00

00:01:14.040 homo you faggot so you're a queer aren't you 1.00

00:01:16.760 fag queer what are you a fag the next time you use words like these think about what they really 1.00

00:01:24.520 mean 1.00

00:01:24.920 well that was a lot darker than i had expected i i had only watched the first 10 seconds so i just

00:01:41.960 thought it was a funny like don't don't be you know homophobic i didn't realize that they bring up 0.82

00:01:47.000 they can't dominate you but it's terrible it's kind of like a porno for me once the guy yells 1.00

00:01:53.480 faggot when he's running down through the locker room or whatever i just jizz at that point i don't 1.00

00:01:57.640 make it to the end we're running light and lean today boys we got uh myself clint russell host of 1.00

00:02:04.600 liberty lockdown we got tower gang toad at tower gang toad on twitter make sure you fucking follow him 0.89

00:02:08.760 it's it's where he gets all of his uh value and then we got at famic fat comic dave mr cole what's 0.99

00:02:15.000 up you fucking jack diesel 0.97

00:02:18.600 i don't know what it is but i've been uh a couple of my lifts well i did i hit 405 deadlift yesterday 0.99

00:02:23.560 i know you sent the video it was very uh it was a very short distance from your ankles to your

00:02:28.520 your knees you little tiny man yeah no it's just it's funny because uh elizabeth actually has like 1.00

00:02:33.400 longer legs than me and so like whenever she does deadlifts like she like she has long femurs i don't 1.00

00:02:39.400 i have short femurs like dwarfism yeah so like when she's deadlifting it looks like she's moving like

00:02:47.320 a long way so i'm just like i'm like but if you see like eddie hall it's not fair like even though

00:02:52.680 he looks short he's he's six two and a half but he looks short because he's also like six foot wide oh

00:02:58.440 yeah well yeah i i have very long legs so uh deadlifting would be harder for me but still 425

00:03:05.000 is fucking awesome or was it 405 but i i but it went up pretty easy i'm gonna try you could 0.84

00:03:09.800 definitely do 425 i like oh yeah i'm gonna try to hit that and that was no warm-up nothing i know 0.97

00:03:15.080 people don't care about this but that's not a great no i don't give a fuck uh i know it's uh speaking 0.85

00:03:22.120 of our our missing compatriots we have top lobster in in the jamaica um and he has very 0.82

00:03:28.840 which he's very out he's outspoken about jamaica right now and how i have never i have never seen

00:03:34.520 someone so racist become more racist i didn't know he could be more racist and it was just like

00:03:40.760 i've always thought he's been at 11 he was at eight he was at he wasn't even close to where that's a

00:03:48.440 great way to put it maybe even less than i thought he was maxed out he was nowhere near as much just

00:03:53.240 like your deadlift yeah yeah yeah yeah he went above and beyond he was like he unlocked a new

00:04:00.920 like sphere of racism i didn't even know was real yeah what's it what's it called when you the uh

00:04:08.600 like the void around a black hole the uh yes like we passed the event like no one knew what was beyond

00:04:17.080 the event horizon and for for top jamaica is apparently the event horizon he has uh a full

00:04:24.200 shows worth by himself enough of shows worth just by itself on jamaica like he says he can get on here

00:04:31.000 and just talk jamaica for an hour and a half and just be going i mean non-stop i had a great idea in 0.80

00:04:36.600 the group chat i think i hope you guys agreed because i think this is fucking money in the bank we 0.92

00:04:41.560 we we just travel around doing i mean obviously for my own or for all of our best you know our

00:04:48.200 interest in entertainment i would love to actually do it even though i think it would be great if it

00:04:52.280 was just you fucking literally replace anthony bourdain you put top lobster you have him go to 0.98

00:04:57.560 fucking restaurants in different countries and then he just talks shit on the on the service and the 0.99

00:05:02.920 national like the race of the people there like it would be so fucking funny and it's still called the 1.00

00:05:07.160 same thing it's called no reservations because that's right he's just not holding back it's a 0.97

00:05:11.880 fucking great idea yeah but but then i'm the one who kills himself at the end of it so 0.84

00:05:19.080 i i do think that would be great i also think isn't that kind of like what um 0.98

00:05:24.120 didn't ari shafir kind of do like that racist thing on the street didn't he kind of do the same

00:05:28.440 thing what was i was he was traveling around the world though he wasn't traveling around the world but 0.96

00:05:32.040 he was traveling he was fucking thai lady boys that's all i know i think he was just a stand-up 0.97

00:05:36.760 comic that was just like doing a bit for youtube that he was yeah i thought but he was yeah i 0.99

00:05:40.280 remember it was going but he would like do the same he would do like racist shit like just straight 0.74

00:05:43.560 up but oh yeah yeah top would no no but but you gotta understand ari's ari's putting on a uh on an 1.00

00:05:48.600 act this is just top being top i just want him i just want him to go out there and genuinely assess 0.99

00:05:54.040 different cultures like that's all i want to hear from because you gotta admit his fucking like 0.99

00:05:58.760 he's a lot funnier oh and plus he's on vacation which makes him a lot more like 0.99

00:06:02.440 with his racism which is kids he's actually being able to get to sleep which is kind of

00:06:07.800 weird like when toad doesn't sleep he goes like full schizo mode when top doesn't he just gets

00:06:12.200 cranky but it's cranky isn't funny like it's just like it when he's nice and slept and he's like in

00:06:17.240 a good like zone true tops like my race is not a bit yeah top goes on vacation it's like he's on safari

00:06:24.680 or at a zoo or something because he likes observing other species in their natural he literally just

00:06:29.960 keeps sending us pictures of jamaican people and like just like all they're just being like 1.00

00:06:35.400 look at this guy and i'm like they forced me to tip them top sent us that one pic and there's like

00:06:41.400 this thick black woman kind of in the back corner i'm zooming in on it i'm like nice under boob right 1.00

00:06:46.600 there i was wondering what you're talking about i thought you're talking about his wife yeah so did 0.99

00:06:50.200 i yeah yeah the amazing racist that's the thing it's amazing racist yes yeah yeah he just goes around 0.95

00:06:55.000 but this was america i want him to go all over the world and like eat like a full 0.98

00:06:59.400 fucking show for the travel channel i bet those shows are so fun those travel just being able to 0.96

00:07:07.080 go around get paid to i mean i know it kind of sucks to the you have to do like you know 0.99

00:07:11.160 production all that shit but getting like free food just getting to travel i feel like that's 0.96

00:07:15.400 like the fucking best even though like i would do that in a heartbeat dude even like even though 0.98

00:07:20.760 it's on a shoestring budget the fact that i get paid anything to travel and talk to travel and eat 0.98

00:07:26.440 and talk to like people and learn shit that's fucking cool shit and then for top it'd be like 0.95

00:07:32.200 i get paid to eat travel and be racist like just like it's straight up to anybody i want to be and 0.99

00:07:38.520 just and most likely they don't even understand because they're foreigners and they'll be like 1.00

00:07:41.960 yes yes it's you know i will say this though i don't yes

00:07:46.120 i i will say this though like i i don't know how someone with a wife and kids does what i do

00:07:56.120 because like it is so taxing to travel like my my sleep schedule gets so fucked up like i'm jet lagged 0.95

00:08:03.240 i get home like i just sleep whenever i'm tired and i just like recover that's how i recover like if i

00:08:07.800 had kids that i had to take care of like i really it gave me a lot more uh understanding them it's called

00:08:13.080 or you or you do like uh yeah i guess that's probably true you just have your wife handle 0.62

00:08:16.440 it all probably ben benzo is uh yeah she i i already i already uh showed her some uh in the dms

00:08:23.160 earlier so she's uh she's very drunk right now what was it um i had a train of thought and you come 0.81

00:08:29.720 in here with talking about random bit like fucking bimbos like jesus she's our number one fan dude you 1.00

00:08:36.040 better be careful yeah yeah we can't afford to lose one tenth of our audience especially not the females 1.00

00:08:43.640 we only have female fans it's crazy are there any dudes in the chat they're only fans oh hey

00:08:50.040 i have no idea um you guys got any uh mailbag action for us yes yeah let's go

00:08:57.240 all righty so we actually have a new patron who submitted his very first mailbag let's

00:09:03.000 fucking go yeah dude yeah let's go yeah i'm not gonna say his last name because i'm not sure if he 0.91

00:09:09.160 wants that said but his name is justin yeah don't do that and he asks with one month of training 0.98

00:09:14.760 who's winning a tower gang marathon and what times would they run oh oh no no hold on hold on

00:09:20.680 i was a runner he's done it before no but no i'm not a runner i ran a half marathon like just a month

00:09:26.840 ago didn't you i didn't i ran 18 miles over like 12 hours like it was like a that's pretty slow

00:09:33.320 and it fuck yeah it was i was doing like i was doing like three miles at a time usually but uh 0.90

00:09:39.400 but uh no top is the runner he say mary he would talk about how he ran in college oh is that why 0.93

00:09:46.040 he said he was like i loved running a ton and so i think if now a month of prep 0.88

00:09:53.640 it's that it's you or top there's there's no way fucking any of the three of the rest 1.00

00:09:57.960 i can't imagine i mean i just want to see jose run yes it's so fucking funny just a concrete 0.97

00:10:04.200 fucking crumbling underneath him like the thing running no uh uh paul uh vegas won the mass shooter 0.92

00:10:13.960 bracket and we'll never talk about it again um i i i might be competitive in this race as a former 0.98

00:10:19.800 contestant in the boston big man race oh i think i was in the boston marathon it's it is a race where

00:10:27.640 you were required to be 200 pounds to be eligible to win it so what happens so i was not 200 pounds

00:10:34.440 i was like in the 190s so they made me run as no no no so i wasn't eligible to win but you can still

00:10:40.840 run in it but they make you run shirtless with an s on your chest as a skinny that's actually pretty

00:10:47.480 funny so i'm like i'm five six and i'm like 195 at this point i'm morbidly obese basically and i'm

00:10:53.640 running in this with an ass running as a skinny and the guys that win this thing are like six more 0.83

00:10:58.440 and just happen to be 200 pounds this dominate this thing and how the race works is it is how 0.95

00:11:03.800 many miles it's five i believe through somerville they canceled the race i have no idea why um i think

00:11:10.600 it lasted until like 2015 probably because it's fat folk or no that's right when wokeness took over 0.73

00:11:15.000 it's fat focus yeah it was right around there yeah so um right and the fat acceptance yeah it would

00:11:21.320 yeah it's the skinny part that they don't like it's that you wrote on people and saying they're

00:11:24.920 skinny that's that's the problem so it's five miles but the the real crux of the race is that

00:11:30.520 each mile you stop at a different bar and you have to eat a hot dog and chug a pint of beer

00:11:35.960 this sounds like an amazing well yeah there was i mean that's torture it's it's it's an amazing race

00:11:42.620 and i was the amazing racist in it that was like there's that uh one run where you i think it's a jack

00:11:47.960 daniel's run where every mile like i think every mile you get to stop and do a shot of jack daniel's

00:11:53.240 and then do another mile and like which would be wild like by the end do a marathon which is would

00:12:01.960 be 26 shots of jack daniel's by the end that's that's like a whiskey challenge combined with a

00:12:09.720 marathon and we wonder why men don't have as long life expectancy as women well like this well yeah the

00:12:16.760 the boston bomber missed uh justin o'donnell who was a cop during it at the time okay

00:12:22.920 imagine o'donnell was a cop yeah during the boston bombing yeah yeah he was there the marathon bomb he

00:12:28.280 was there i had no idea he was a cop that makes so much sense now it explains the uh the donut fetish

00:12:35.400 at least i didn't mean that but i gotta address it's a matt w i do watch the odyssey chat so thank you

00:12:42.740 people are watching odyssey he said 18 miles to 12 is not a run you're walking i understand like i did

00:12:48.260 it was a it was a relay so it was me and my mom on a team and then my wife and my dad on a team 0.98

00:12:53.940 and then we were trying not the first time you did a relay with your mom you pervert oh god 0.80

00:12:58.420 my wife and my dad too yeah and i was there in the corner 0.95

00:13:02.020 you reacted to that so poorly oh god i'm sorry i'm sorry uh well i did the same thing with your

00:13:10.260 parents too clint so oh well that's cool it's inclusive it's fun i i yeah look i found your dad 0.72

00:13:15.780 i can run i can run six seven miles like 26 miles is fucked up like i don't i don't think i'm built for 0.99

00:13:24.020 that i don't think i'm supposed to run that long and i would rather not so i'm doing a four mile run

00:13:28.580 like next month so like an actual i could do that i could do that see yeah but i'm not like it's not

00:13:36.340 i don't know like dude i i'm not i've never been a long distance runner i could run i could run a 40

00:13:42.180 minute four mile right now if i had to i don't want really yeah hell that's probably better than i could

00:13:48.340 do no you could you could do that dude i'm telling you i i don't know what i i don't know now it could

00:13:53.860 be i did you're in good shape you really can't run that much i did a three mile

00:13:58.500 in i guess 30 minutes yeah that's 10 minute miles no no i didn't 10 minute mile i could do that

00:14:05.620 well yeah but could you do four miles in 40 minutes i'll see once i get done with the four

00:14:10.900 miler i'll tell you how because i'll try to really go for it all right yeah let's see what you can do

00:14:14.740 i i did uh i did when i was like doing more cardio with my training i was able to do uh four miles in 35

00:14:22.500 minutes so that was that was pretty good that's booking that's like eight minute 50 pace but like

00:14:28.660 i had this girlfriend elise who like was a long distance runner and and she she actually ran a 1.00

00:14:33.620 hundred mile marathon she's like out of her fucking mind what that's that's like yeah that's like yeah 1.00

00:14:39.860 she ran an ultra yeah yeah it's a quadruple but she she did uh she would run six minute miles for 1.00

00:14:46.420 marathons like it was just fucking you ever watched the um the guy that ran the under two 0.93

00:14:52.420 hour marathon you ever watched that video i've seen it yeah is he just sprinting yeah it's just 0.95

00:14:58.660 fucking nigerian i think he's nigerian of course but he's like yeah they showed like him running he 0.97

00:15:03.380 ran under it was an hour and 59 minutes something like that he might have been nigerian whatever he 0.99

00:15:08.500 was it did have niger and then oh his name's kipchoge but like dude oh dude he he just jamal

00:15:18.980 kipchoge he no dude he just ran in the boston marathon for the first time and he was even odds

00:15:25.780 to win the boston marathon against the entire field and i bet against him and he didn't do it he came in

00:15:31.220 six it was his first run in the boston marathon it was raining i was like dude he's not gonna do this

00:15:36.180 dude you're betting on the boston marathon yeah you have a problem no this is a great we know

00:15:43.380 no this is a great bet i bet against kipchoge i'm sorry this is way worse than i thought i'd like

00:15:49.540 i won i won the bet it doesn't matter if you won the bet it's the fact that you're betting on the

00:15:55.780 boston marathon who's betting on the boston like did you have money did you have money riding when the

00:16:01.860 when the bomb went off is that way no no i don't know i got thousand one odds yeah yeah that's right

00:16:10.980 i had some inside information but uh but yeah he like if you look at someone like you can go and

00:16:18.500 do you want a treadmill like his uh his pace and it's like i want to uh he's not nigerian by the 0.91

00:16:25.380 the way he's kenyan what is what is the fucking pace i want to oh god i can't do the math it's fast 0.98

00:16:31.620 miles in two hours that's 13 miles an hour uh what that's so crazy which is ridiculous like if you 0.98

00:16:39.860 go out i can do that for an hour and i can do that for three minutes two hours long like it's it's insane

00:16:48.340 like he's basically out there sprinting and and like at the end he looks like nothing

00:16:56.020 i'm surprised he's not like oh yeah the curling finals are this weekend and i got no no no i'm

00:17:01.380 the british no no this is this i told you this is a great you hear about that that that the latest

00:17:06.740 spelling bee dude this is like a once in a lifetime situation as an indian i'm going indian

00:17:12.820 easy money indian money line on the indian i got my rupees writing on that on dot that's yeah that's

00:17:23.060 right i'm betting on the cricket finals as well that's i can imagine like you're watching esp in

00:17:28.740 the ocho like like religiously being no man eight the ocho yeah like just wait the darts finals are

00:17:37.060 coming up and this guy i have inside information he was on a bender last night speaking of like uh

00:17:44.020 i love just terrible terrible gambling addictions what like i want more than anything in life 0.99

00:17:51.300 other than to be under a rogan i want more than anything in life to do just stupid bets with you 0.96

00:17:57.540 guys on like like i want to i want to like play softball against you and i want to have a bet 0.86

00:18:02.740 and i want to play i want to play one-on-one basketball against toad and give him a seven 0.88

00:18:06.820 point lead and gun-to-the-butt challenge i want to do all this shit like two years ago i think it was 0.88

00:18:12.500 like almost the beginning of tower game that i would love a softball game just like to get together and 0.95

00:18:18.500 play softball with just like a bunch of like libert like our sphere would be so goddamn fun just to get 0.99

00:18:24.660 out there and just fucking hitting dingers and fucking uh like oh we love it we're getting 0.99

00:18:33.460 together to commit hate crimes i like it um yeah i i no seriously though like i want to 0.99

00:18:38.260 fucking let's do it that would be so much fun remember doing like field days whenever you were 0.85

00:18:44.660 in like elementary school i want i want a field day but like adult style like we literally go on the 0.99

00:18:50.500 field we're playing kickball softball but we're drinking we're doing drugs maybe let's play 0.96

00:18:55.860 fucking red rover and like just keep toad up wait which one is that is that the one where you slap 0.98

00:19:03.220 each other's asses i seriously don't know i don't remember you never did you never play red rover i 1.00

00:19:09.380 probably have red rover red rover send the fucking retard over 1.00

00:19:13.300 no no because because it's always everybody else saying that about me so 0.98

00:19:21.300 but that was the game you didn't know red rover is the one where you uh you stand and you like

00:19:25.860 link arms and then someone has to someone tries to buy it hard in the can oh yeah yeah yeah yeah

00:19:31.540 which is so fucking dangerous dude tower game camp we could have our fans come out that'd be 0.99

00:19:36.260 fucking sick yeah dude target summer camp and we have all the retard kids come 1.00

00:19:41.540 no we we teach them how to be racist we teach about a racist sexist because you know like 1.00

00:19:45.380 all i don't want kids there i want our i want our fans they're already racist we have to teach them

00:19:50.260 um yes by the way i think we should get kids i i was i was i was kids are learning how to be 0.99

00:19:55.540 fucking gay and like trans i'm not having i want to go with the complete opposite dude i am not having 0.99

00:20:00.980 a libertarian get together and inviting kids that sounds like a terrible terrible idea 1.00

00:20:05.860 these libertarians get there like oh i didn't know kids were invited fuck yeah 0.97

00:20:12.020 you can sit bro it's just a myth 1.00

00:20:14.580 but but they're all but they're all downs kids so you know we're not trying to fuck them 0.99

00:20:20.980 well unfortunately some people do that too it's terrible jesus 0.99

00:20:26.740 dodgeball game would be fucking amazing dodgeball tournament like any type of i love tournaments 0.84

00:20:32.340 dude i'm fucking i don't know what like i used to do uh we used to do brackets no no no no no no 0.99

00:20:38.340 just like we used to do 2k tournaments in uh in college oh yeah video game tournaments oh my god 0.96

00:20:44.100 it's so much fun because you know we could be we could online game with one another that we wanted to

00:20:48.900 i can online game with you right now i know i i play i have a ps5 that's the problem i have a pc

00:20:56.340 oh yeah what do you play though on ps5 yeah uh so far it's just been madden

00:21:04.020 that's that's my jam man worst game out there it is so bad i'm a big modern warfare guy i will 0.75

00:21:09.860 pwn your noob ass you you would i i don't really play the war games the first person shooters i play 0.95

00:21:16.180 on pc and it was uh counter-strike was my thing for a long time a very old game 0.99

00:21:22.100 it came out they actually they have global offensive two now yep it's just coming out

00:21:26.660 right now but i i was i was counter-strike uh source was the one that i was the most into i was

00:21:31.780 crazy good at it for a while i can imagine i had i had my money on coal for this uh marathon but i

00:21:37.380 think the answer to our new patrons question is top lobster yeah yes uh thank you uh dustin is that 0.96

00:21:44.500 great fucking name i like that name very masculine dustin this is kind of like a like 1.00

00:21:51.460 getting a lot of pussy with that name it's it's one of those names where it's like masculine but 1.00

00:21:56.260 gay masculine no no no no no i've known gets pussy yeah all right uh next question oh i was thinking of 1.00

00:22:03.060 justin i'm sorry yeah no justin yeah that's that's gay got it uh dicky next question please all right 1.00

00:22:10.980 so jc asks can we start doing homeless bum fights like pianord versus flower or jimara harding

00:22:18.100 the winner gets a cardboard box oh i love it i love it so much this is great because i mean this

00:22:23.300 kind of goes into like the whole tournament thing i would love to see a bum fight tournament of the 0.81

00:22:27.700 bones that we know yes and then just get them together just fucking make them fight and at the end 0.93

00:22:33.140 be like by the way for the next week you have to say on like your weird like like uh theory 0.99

00:22:39.940 shit i think it should be a slap slap the slap game whatever that fucking that sport is that 1.00

00:22:44.900 is oh the power slap power slap yeah face slapping whatever it is because i would i would love to see 1.00

00:22:50.500 any of our stupid fans get slapped in the face you know there's a women's ass slapping tournament 1.00

00:22:54.900 i do you bet on it yeah oh yes you do you fucking degenerate 1.00

00:23:01.460 you're degenerate just for watching that if you bet on it you're going to hell 1.00

00:23:05.140 i bet toad bets on the lfl the ladies football oh lingerie football yeah that's right yeah that's 1.00

00:23:13.380 what it is lingerie um i i don't bet on it but it is quite a distraction dude we should fucking twitch 0.93

00:23:19.300 stream uh fight club at top lobster ranch dude i'm telling you like we could do we could do fight 0.93

00:23:24.260 club and we could fucking uh play like one-on-one basketball like me versus toad i i'm telling you 0.93

00:23:29.620 it would be so funny to watch that uh and then we could play softball and then we could play 0.97

00:23:33.540 fucking dodgeball and then we could play uh yeah and then we twitch i don't think you can bet on 0.76

00:23:37.700 wrestlemania because it's scripted oh you can bet on it i think you can do like no like no they do 0.90

00:23:42.740 have bets on it i do know that all right yeah we i used to get it but it's still like i feel like 0.87

00:23:48.580 they keep that shit on the rack i mean club yeah first rule break club you definitely don't talk about 0.96

00:23:55.540 it toad bets on rocky he probably does uh yeah i do he lost in three so keep that in mind uh 0.99

00:24:04.900 i lost money on that one creed lost too like multiple times and then oh that's such a spoiler

00:24:12.100 i'm sorry i'm sorry for creed one and three you know creed two was horrific when they brought that 1.00

00:24:18.100 deaf bitch in try to make me fucking have feelings for deaf people i hate it when they do that shit 1.00

00:24:22.580 that was creed one that they did that it was the original whatever dog i think whenever they brought 1.00

00:24:26.660 that deaf motherfucker into my life first one don't you ever ever bring harder hearing people around 1.00

00:24:32.580 it was actually uh he was deaf because he got punched in the year it was john stossel actually 1.00

00:24:38.180 interesting like a deep reference i don't know yeah he got he got bitch slapped by a wrestler i don't

00:24:43.220 know why toad said it but it's it's true um yeah page yeah patreon stream of the gang i honestly i think

00:24:48.980 we ought to be twitch streamer professionally i was i uh because i've been preparing for my

00:24:53.140 debate with destiny this saturday in nashville everybody come out um i've been watching a lot 0.98

00:24:57.140 of his debates and this motherfucker just plays video games while he debates i had no idea that's 0.85

00:25:01.460 what he did um so yeah that sounds like a great streaming is very lucrative if you if you hit like 0.99

00:25:07.940 fucking people do it like full fucking time yeah but if you're a woman you make like right a 1.00

00:25:13.860 a good jillion dollars just like well yeah you don't have to do you don't have to have any skills 0.99

00:25:18.500 as a woman to make no crazy yeah those are all the top twitch streamers like it's just women 1.00

00:25:24.420 yeah women dress scantily and playing video games it was funny because like twitch had to cut down 1.00

00:25:29.860 because they would do like um they would call them like irl streams it would just be women in like uh 1.00

00:25:35.780 like uh the bathtub or like in uh like hot tubs and that's all they would just be like sitting in

00:25:42.420 there guys would just watch for hours and like it's ridiculous oh wait what do we got here oh

00:25:48.260 this is the john stossel thing yeah standard question you know standard question i think 0.98

00:25:52.980 it's just fake you think it's fake who was the wrestler i forget what the hell's wrong with you 0.94

00:25:58.980 that's open hand slap huh you think it's fake that's fucking funny he made him deaf in one of 0.94

00:26:06.980 his ears he did yeah it did he blew his eardrum out yep and i like stossel that's sad but don't 0.94

00:26:12.100 ever tell her that's really funny though to me like it's pretty chatted he's like oh is that fake

00:26:17.620 how'd that feel so did you do my wife 1.00

00:26:22.500 they were both pretty chadly in that situation did we answer the question i always forget what

00:26:26.660 the questions were it was uh should we uh have a homeless uh oh yeah like fight tournament yeah

00:26:32.820 look look i don't want them to fight i want to equip them with like lethal weaponry and just 0.62

00:26:37.780 yeah i want them to fight to the death i want it to be a melee just all out just throw them all

00:26:42.340 or be like there's a treasure hunt go under the uh the fed building there's like gold under there go

00:26:47.620 get it

00:26:51.060 so we're throwing yeah jeremiah archie flower and who's the other one penal yeah throw them up i

00:26:56.100 actually out of those three i like p nord a lot more than the other two

00:27:00.420 so that makes p nord look awesome to me um matt did say uh on the odyssey chat shout out odyssey

00:27:06.980 again a tower can you learn to play ck crusader kings 3 and create a royal family of inbred albino 0.99

00:27:12.100 dwarves funny to say that i did start this is just just what's the name of the game crusader kings 3 0.66

00:27:17.780 it's a uh paradox game i just started playing uh victoria 3 if anyone plays that it's fucking fun 0.89

00:27:23.620 as shit and uh i love it is a computer game yeah oh dude yo if you like seriously top seriously top 0.95

00:27:31.060 you may be able to beat me in a marathon i will fuck your life up at volleyball i will 1.00

00:27:35.140 fuck all of your like all of your lives clint clint did the actual uh weird flex i played i played for 1.00

00:27:42.260 10 years 15 hours a week for 10 years straight i am a goddamn savage at volleyball on the beaches of 1.00

00:27:49.860 san diego clint was actually in the top gun uh homoerotic volleyball montage that was you in 0.92

00:27:55.620 there it's it's such a weird thing because like growing up like it was only women that played

00:28:00.900 volleyball at all like it was like our high school team it was only girls all those all those women 1.00

00:28:06.740 that played they can get some too i'll fucking i'll blast all you i i i i blast them all right this 0.99

00:28:13.060 poor girl very quick story this poor girl she had been playing with us for a couple years and she 1.00

00:28:18.020 was moving out of state it was her last day her last game i shit you not and i get set perfectly 0.97

00:28:23.780 i'm on the fucking far left line and i come down and i just i just fucking snap it as hard as i 0.99

00:28:29.140 possibly can usually when i do that it just goes straight into the sand this chick had like like 1.00

00:28:34.500 she had got caught in the middle where she was like thinking about coming up to the net to try and

00:28:38.180 like get a block but she also didn't come back to like try and dig so i just crushed her face like 1.00

00:28:44.500 like her her whole face she like she left she was fucking tears coming down her eyes her whole 1.00

00:28:50.900 face was red around it looked like a ball it was terrible dude it was terrible that was her last 0.99

00:28:55.940 day there it was so sad anyways i'm very good at volleyball and i will fuck you all up and also 0.99

00:29:00.340 basketball i don't think any of you can touch me uh baseball uh your top top's got baseball i feel 0.91

00:29:05.860 like what's weird is that i played baseball for 10 years clint was like that was the last day of

00:29:09.700 her life jose jose did soccer which is pretty wild to me like i don't know like he just well his name

00:29:15.220 is jose yeah yeah yes that is his real name uh he's so tiny but he's so thick though like it's so

00:29:21.060 weird to think of him playing any sport and being good at it but i guess if he played that long he's

00:29:24.580 probably i will say i'm i'm wildly fast or at least i very was during college like really fast i think

00:29:31.700 it's just because your legs are so short you feel like you're fast no i was very fast i was always

00:29:35.700 usually the fastest i know i know you take a block you take a mean block i'm only good at like very

00:29:41.540 specific things where you can kind of like i feel like football i could like counting how many

00:29:45.460 fucking no or you can like counting how many toothpicks hit the ground no the things i have a very 0.93

00:29:51.940 particular set of skills they all deal with things that rain man can do yeah yeah like the things where 0.99

00:29:59.700 you can like mentally like kind of picture like the physics yeah i literally guessed it like i'm no

00:30:06.340 like like i'm good at like distance basketball shooting and like hitting in baseball how many

00:30:12.020 how many marvels are in this this jar he's like i own 10 451 yeah that's me

00:30:19.620 who's uh who's the hockey player i i rollerbladed for a lot of years but i didn't play hockey

00:30:24.180 uh yeah even though i'm from boston i'm i'm not a good skater at all oh cornhole competition would

00:30:30.020 be really fun i do love cornhole i'm actually pretty good at i was the only beer pong i 0.54

00:30:34.180 fuck you guys up cornhole i fuck you guys up at top loft's house it'd be close and i was the only 1.00

00:30:40.100 one trying to play cornhole look oh i am hand-eye coordination you guys are all going down no no 1.00

00:30:47.060 that that's like the one thing that i'm not bad oh no i'm gonna fuck you up i'm gonna fuck you up 1.00

00:30:51.060 it though toad i don't think you're i think you're in a different like you're there's a 0.98

00:30:54.500 different league like i think it's like no no i understand i understand like how you think that

00:31:00.100 you're like oh i'm very good at townhouse on it i'll play cornhole against some pretty good players

00:31:06.420 and i hold my own all right that's not a hand-eye coordination well i guess it kind of is but i'm

00:31:12.340 saying like when you say i'm really good at hand-eye coordination i think you're like i'm really good

00:31:17.700 and then there's like well you know why why i'm like a different you're not playing the same sport

00:31:26.740 i'm envisioning the hole as a butthole so that's how i do it that's i'm really good at it so you

00:31:31.780 never get it in that's

00:31:36.020 he gets it in his own cornhole we got any more questions yeah i think we have one more so it's

00:31:42.900 not a question but phil says that top lobster has a he has like a black doppelganger on the

00:31:49.780 phoenix sun's name cameron pain oh yeah so let me pull this up i don't know if yeah cameron pain 0.54

00:31:55.460 holy shit yeah it's very offensive to top but uh yeah i see i see what you're saying 0.54

00:32:02.100 top should yeah uh like get the dreads going and then yeah then you got it really good i mean it's got 0.98

00:32:07.620 he does have a little bit like the uh like the i don't know how what's that chin like whatever

00:32:13.300 that is because top's chin is way better than that but it's just kind of like that i don't it's

00:32:17.620 like a physiognomy kind of thing yeah top said i hate it so much physiognomy whatever what's that

00:32:22.340 how do you say it physiognomy i think physiognomy physiognomy you don't pronounce a g there's a g

00:32:27.780 you don't that's the only thing i see when i look at it that's why i always just say

00:32:37.700 you're all a bunch of nears i don't pronounce it either oh that's nice i uh yeah i see it

00:32:43.300 uh i don't know how to talk about it without offending top so i'm just gonna say

00:32:49.220 no no top's better at baseball for sure yeah probably yes

00:32:53.860 uh but yeah that was i am i saying it wrong there is no g right you don't you don't yes

00:33:01.060 there is a g i know but you don't pronounce it brah i don't believe that's true like we have a lot of

00:33:06.500 uh a lot of a lot of the italian words are like you don't pronounce the g did y'all see the uh the

00:33:12.340 girl that put her own dog in the uh dryer oh unfortunately i saw that you posted that video

00:33:18.180 and i'm not gonna watch it bro it is sad it is like and she is hysterically laughing at it

00:33:25.460 uh she got arrested now i think yeah she got arrested for like animal cruelty uh uh she should 0.97

00:33:31.220 have worse done to her than that oh yeah i think it was it's it's crazy like i mean 0.98

00:33:36.500 i mean it's not cool but she's a fucking kid dude like are we gonna she was not a kid no no she was an 0.99

00:33:41.460 adult no she was an adult she looked like she was an adult and guess she was at least 18 all right 0.99

00:33:47.140 well yeah she was that's an adult to me dude don't make it racial jesus and the dog was white

00:33:54.660 yeah it was not a dog i was expecting a black person to own which is very kind of weird it was 1.00

00:33:59.060 like a fluffy little thing which i've been we we talked about toad has been very upset because uh

00:34:06.740 uh i told him my neighbors have pit bulls um and they got into a fight the other night 0.99

00:34:12.820 and i was just like the neighbor's dogs fought each other who gives a shit that's their problem 0.93

00:34:17.940 i told you he's very he gets very defensive about this because i was like yeah i love i love dogs and 0.99

00:34:23.860 i'm defending pit bulls and i'm saying that for the most part if you have a dog that is like just super

00:34:29.460 aggressive like that a ton of that falls on the owner the owner should not own a pit bull in that 0.65

00:34:33.940 case they have no fucking idea what they're doing is there is there a reason why uh aggressive 0.86

00:34:38.900 owners most usually have pit bulls yeah yeah is it the aggression of the owners there there's a 0.99

00:34:46.100 correlation there that aggressive people like to get other yeah because it's a fucking it's a lethal 0.99

00:34:50.660 animal it's a fucking badass so you're saying that pit bulls are aggressive naturally yeah the black 1.00

00:34:56.180 pit bulls especially i don't think i don't think i don't think they're necessarily naturally 0.98

00:35:00.980 aggressive but they they certainly have you do you do say the g pronounced physiognomy no that's 0.55

00:35:07.140 that's some computer yeah physiognomy i got it right no man no you didn't physiognomy oh my god 0.99

00:35:17.620 damn look at these ugly bitches god damn look man um all right i guess we don't have any more 1.00

00:35:23.140 questions do we no but i do i do want to get into this uh toad left a group chat multiple times because 1.00

00:35:29.220 he was very upset that we were saying that pit bulls are inherently more aggressive and probably

00:35:35.300 you shouldn't let them around your kids i'm i know you're arguing that like pit bulls are like 0.97

00:35:39.700 nap violators or some shit it's not that is not the case they're not not what i said at all is this 0.95

00:35:45.300 is this a group chat i'm not in because i don't remember any yes yes yes you used to be in it i think 0.98

00:35:49.140 that's what garbage main at least was arguing maybe just to piss me off i don't know basically

00:35:53.380 it was saying the onus is still i was saying that yes if a dog like hurts a kid or a baby or something 0.87

00:36:00.260 like that you kill the dog because the dog's fault yeah i'm not saying that you don't but you're saying

00:36:05.780 it's not the dog's fault i'm i'm saying that okay so if it's a if it's an if it's no no no if it's an 0.99

00:36:13.460 unowned dog yeah you're allowed to defend yourself against this wild animal i don't give a shit do 0.89

00:36:17.620 whatever if the dog is owned by somebody then there is responsibility on the owner in that case 0.90

00:36:23.940 that's what i'm saying so there is i don't know why anybody would disagree but to did say that if uh

00:36:29.060 if someone someone brings the dog to your house and then like that dog attacks your kid that you can

00:36:36.580 hold the owner legally responsible yes i think so yeah of course i don't think i don't i think it's a

00:36:42.980 it would be very very weird to like i think you'd be like well i don't you me i blame the dog i blame

00:36:48.900 the dog for being the responsibility is on you to some extent because you decided to allow them into 0.98

00:36:54.900 your house well speaking of dogs that were owned by dumb people i was at fucking pork fest and i got 0.99

00:37:00.340 bit by a dog so i should have been able to put that dog down right on the spot as far as i'm fucking 1.00

00:37:04.420 shoot it just like that guy that was kicking that uh the one that was kicking the uh the truck dude 1.00

00:37:09.700 pulled out a gun just fucking shot him that's what you should do for every dog that fucking brushes 1.00

00:37:14.340 up against you look i i don't i don't think that pitbulls should be banned or anything like that but 1.00

00:37:18.900 i do think that they are you know lethal fucking fighting dogs like they're they're capable of it so 0.96

00:37:25.220 if you raise them and they're uh they lean towards it they they have a uh like a sort of 0.98

00:37:33.860 what proclivity yes that's that's the great word look look i've been attacked by dogs before and

00:37:39.540 the dogs have been put down as a result of it and how many times has this happened ever 0.99

00:37:45.860 a couple really yeah you just go through life fucking putting dogs down because they bite you 0.99

00:37:52.820 i didn't do it my dog bit my cousin's kid but it was his fault because they smelled like beans 0.98

00:37:59.140 that's a good point um i think i think that like in a court of law you could probably never convict an

00:38:04.580 owner of a dog for biting a mexican or a puerto rican that's yeah exactly yeah or or an indian

00:38:10.420 because they smell like cherry yeah any any culture that smells like food yeah you i think that's fine

00:38:15.940 yeah and and same same applies for you know filipinas if uh if you own a cougar for instance well it's not

00:38:23.140 their fault because you smell like fish uh pitbulls are the jamaicans of the dog world i i'm gonna allow you to 0.98

00:38:29.300 elaborate on that when you return yeah that'll be wild how much he hates jamaicans would i i feel

00:38:34.260 like i it's wild i feel like jamaica is a nice place i i feel like jamaica is a nice place yeah

00:38:40.420 it feels like i i knew a lot of people that i knew from college there was a bunch of jamaicans

00:38:44.500 that i knew they were always really fun guys let me say let me tell you my brief story there i went

00:38:49.060 for uh i got mauled by an english mastiff when i was 10 his name was tugger tugger the rugger i uh i got

00:38:55.860 i went for a week and it was like all inclusive it's so it's such a weird experience because you 1.00

00:39:01.300 get off the plane you take this like cultivated experiences van that picks you up and they take

00:39:05.940 you straight to the resort and you spend all the time in the resort and everyone's paid really i

00:39:09.140 don't know if they're paid well but they're all very friendly and jovial and shit then you go into 0.99

00:39:12.740 town and it's like gangster shit like there's some real poverty gangster shit that's happening so but 0.97

00:39:20.100 you don't you don't experience it at all in these all-inclusive resorts so um i think it's both it's 0.99

00:39:24.900 both like uh you know rough you don't you don't leave like the the white part of jamaica as long

00:39:30.740 as you stay in the white part stay in the white part you you think you're good but but i will say 0.99

00:39:34.340 this you can get fucking pot even in the bougie part like it's it's everywhere oh i've heard it's 0.97

00:39:38.020 like you can literally like on the beach because they like aren't they like out in the water usually 0.98

00:39:41.220 they're kind of chilling like they chill at the beach yeah and they just can you kind of go out

00:39:44.500 there and be like they're like you want some weed oh they they just they you don't have to 0.99

00:39:48.020 fucking ask they walk up they're like yo i got that yeah yo i got that fucking green 0.99

00:39:51.860 yeah and it's cheap isn't it it's like pretty you can probably get it like i don't really do drugs 0.99

00:39:58.100 so i don't know i don't i really don't do drugs do do they wash their chicken there is really the 0.99

00:40:04.260 question um no they shit on them first they should have the chicken they rub the shit in there and 0.99

00:40:10.740 they're like this gives it flavor don't wash your chicken yeah we wash the chicken here mom 0.99

00:40:17.860 oh i forgot cole missed that segment i did oh no oh that was an all-time that was

00:40:25.540 that was that was as hard as i've laughed this year you want to hear something funny i've never

00:40:31.300 watched it that's crazy well i've seen like i saw the the little clip from dickie yeah yeah i saw that

00:40:38.180 i didn't i just didn't watch i think i think we had a video that we needed to watch yeah i think

00:40:43.220 we did dickie if you wouldn't mind we have a few things uh yeah which which video is this

00:40:48.580 whatever all right which video are you talking about there's plenty of random just just pick one

00:40:56.020 of them you you produce oh boy produce we have a couple we have at least two that are on the list

00:41:01.860 all right this is the no arms let's go we're we're going no arms here let's go

00:41:06.020 look i just need my medicine for my diabetes i just need diabetes medicine

00:41:20.900 dude god i already made this joke online but that looks exactly like random if it does look

00:41:26.180 just like mark random it's armless random also let's not say he doesn't have arms he has arms

00:41:32.340 they're there they're just he's got he's got quarter arms it's all right yeah all right there's

00:41:36.580 yeah stubs for arms dude this guy i think he gets multiple and look at him put his hat on too

00:41:41.940 i'll tell you he's like i'm out of here dude this guy gets multiple yeah for having for having no 0.81

00:41:49.220 arms and then also having to deal with uh this bullshit and then that's where you're wrong toad and 0.74

00:41:53.940 i'll show you how i know go ahead and hit play yeah he doesn't have an inward pass that's see that's 1.00

00:41:59.300 that's the universe oh it's fine for not having an inward pass oh you can ride in the ass like 1.00

00:42:05.540 oh 1.00

00:42:06.180 he looks like he looks like a rag doll this is this is what you know how they always talk about 1.00

00:42:15.060 like that that question about like how many like 10 year olds could you beat up like if you like

00:42:18.580 there was like how many armless mark can i beat up no yeah this right here is what we could all do 0.98

00:42:24.180 to 10 year olds is that kick and like that that power that's how we would fuck up like this is 0.99

00:42:29.460 what a black person does to like a small like armless man dude is this guy midget no i think that 0.98

00:42:35.700 that dude is just huge really all right i bet that dude's my size for real yeah like this he does look 0.96

00:42:43.540 what he looks like that uh that that jujitsu dummy or the like the the yeah yeah the things 0.99

00:42:49.780 with the no arms the guy just fucking it's just oh my god he looks like uh one of those uh cpr 0.98

00:42:55.940 training it's all oh yeah i mean if he says it again he might need cpr but but which i mean i'm yeah 0.99

00:43:03.540 i'm gonna go make out with him how fucking confident do you have to be to one he's obviously homeless 0.98

00:43:09.700 too one like obviously because look at his fucking shoes they're literally falling apart 0.99

00:43:14.100 look at it oh my god he's holding his his jeans are held with duct tape to have the confidence of 1.00

00:43:20.900 no arms and to say the n-word to black people in the subway three black people too dude i love this 1.00

00:43:27.460 guy oh yeah he's the oh he's the most confident man in the world he would this is this this is the 0.93

00:43:32.100 moment he made a grave mistake here's the thing if he wasn't armless and homeless he would be

00:43:38.820 running he'd be the ceo of a company that's how confident i believe this man is he's just he just

00:43:44.420 you know there's luck of the drawl instead he got no arms and if he had arms he would have been 0.99

00:43:50.180 the ceo of papa john's oh yeah yeah yeah and then and then he'd be able to uh like fuck uh 15 year 0.98

00:43:57.300 olds or whatever i don't think he's saying that he has a question yeah didn't miss a question for 0.98

00:44:02.900 the mailbag keith is saying he had one so i don't know if he no i mean we usually just we usually run

00:44:07.860 with three of little dicky's shoes so blame him we can do another one if you want yeah i want to

00:44:12.340 hear what keith said all right give me just one second but i only i just typically only do the

00:44:16.740 three so that and then and then we'll and then we'll also go to we'll go to the uh the armless 1.00

00:44:20.260 woman no one has a great question does he does he jerk off with his feet or does he suck himself 1.00

00:44:25.940 whoa great question why did why did we not question wait why do you think he can suck himself just 1.00

00:44:30.340 because he doesn't have arms he can suck himself what the fuck yeah i think your arms do hold you back in 1.00

00:44:34.260 some way no they don't they're over here look at his ear if a huge black it's like it's like if you 1.00

00:44:40.980 lose your sense of smell like your eyesight gets better i think you become more flexible i think 1.00

00:44:45.380 you lose your arms you your body's just like all right man i we gotta get this dick off somehow 0.99

00:44:50.180 dude it's just like you're welcome i guess there there is certainly an imperative that like a driving 0.99

00:44:56.820 factor there yeah exactly it's like you know this is why he uh goes and uh uses the n-word in front of 0.93

00:45:03.220 black people because he knows he's gonna get kicked and in that motion he's being kicked so 0.99

00:45:07.940 forcefully that he bends over and is able to suck himself there you go that's why i mean i don't 1.00

00:45:16.260 think his dick i guess maybe yeah i know that's true yeah you could probably get oh that's funny 1.00

00:45:21.620 that's a funny visual you can fucking imagine him having to bend over to get his little fucking nubs 1.00

00:45:25.540 down to his junk yeah it's like it's like a it's like a woman basically you just rub it it's just 0.99

00:45:34.260 fucking yeah dude dude yeah can he take can he take the two knobs yeah and it's like it's almost 1.00

00:45:39.140 like titty fucking or something you're fucking between the two knobs yeah i bet if you blew up 0.99

00:45:43.220 those nubs i bet it feels pretty good yeah yeah like you know get an elbow job basically like the 1.00

00:45:49.780 nub fucking well well wait a minute what if what if you um when you get your arms amputated or whatever 0.96

00:45:54.420 assuming that's what happened to him i don't know maybe you asked like the doctor to kind of leave 0.99

00:45:57.460 like a hole you know where the bone was and then you can kind of do this thing turn your arm you

00:46:01.380 probably have a you probably have a nub a nub add-on that's like yeah it would be like this you're 0.99

00:46:05.460 right yeah it would be like your where i feel like i feel like scratching his ass would suck 1.00

00:46:11.060 because you can't scratch your ass like you unless you're like i mean it'd be just be like rubbing 1.00

00:46:15.220 your ass but like you know how down bad you gotta be dude to like be homeless be tiny as 1.00

00:46:21.380 fuck have quarter arms use the n-word in a fucking like like his in a subway like what 1.00

00:46:31.140 how did this happen how does this guy exist this guy's definitely like syndromic in some 1.00

00:46:35.700 way because you can tell he has like that voice i don't know i can't hear your voice it's like a

00:46:40.980 really high-pitched voice that sounds like it's he sounds like a mini person so there's something going

00:46:46.340 on with him other than the fact that he doesn't have arms i really do think he's a job job yeah 0.98

00:46:52.740 i'm telling you like i think he i definitely he definitely masturbates i mean he's not gonna get 0.96

00:46:56.980 like homeless people that's basically 30 of their life is masturbating i've seen so many 0.99

00:47:01.620 fucking homeless people jerk off on the street it's crazy yeah look there there are definitely 1.00

00:47:05.540 ways you could do you just have to fuck like an object or something like he definitely is able to do 1.00

00:47:09.940 it he's able to get off yeah i mean like maybe that's why he's homeless he just found a dope hole in 0.99

00:47:15.140 the wall down in the subway yeah dave maybe they maybe they were encroaching on his hole and that's 0.99

00:47:21.300 why he was like he's like get out of here he's like no it's my hole now motherfucker you don't know 1.00

00:47:29.540 i'm having perverts you you stay away from my hole you mean your woman no that's not what i mean 1.00

00:47:35.380 no i mean literally that that hole in the wall behind you that's my wife this poor motherfucker 1.00

00:47:40.500 it's just it's like this video is funny but it's also just devastatingly sad to think about 0.99

00:47:46.020 humanity getting to this level of depravity oh my god oh jesus christ

00:47:54.980 he's got a little tiny voice too

00:47:57.620 such a great yeah i know that's what i said

00:48:01.380 i just love this guy and he's my nigga and he lost that hat and that's like 20 of his life savings 0.83

00:48:06.500 right there he's like have you heard the fucking tower gang outro i fucking ad-libbed that whole 0.99

00:48:10.420 thing have you heard my expertise about fucking mass shootings you're gonna kick me come on man 0.99

00:48:16.900 i'm a great stand-up comic mark random out man sincerely mark random 0.98

00:48:22.820 what was that uh question all right let's go to keith's question all right keith's question is well 0.86

00:48:28.180 first he says uh my bitch and i will be camping in the great smoky mountains in a couple weeks 1.00

00:48:33.540 hoping to meet meet a nice dog man to join us for a fireside threesome in a cave 0.98

00:48:38.340 if you had to double team a chick with a cryptid which would you choose and why i am actually quite

00:48:43.940 ignorant to cryptids so if you guys could clarify what my options are i'd appreciate it i mean you

00:48:48.180 could have bigfoot you could have yeah yeah bigfoot exists wait where do you say he is

00:48:54.500 he's in the smokies i'm not getting into debates about what cryptids exist i'm saying i'm not 0.87

00:48:58.980 fucking bigfoot so go ahead and give me some other options oh you're not fucking bigfoot all 0.99

00:49:02.900 right but bigfoot has a big dick so that doesn't look like we got Loch Ness so Nessie um i believe 0.99

00:49:10.660 like a dog man loveland frog i bet that fucking feels kind of nice and it's gotta it's gotta be one 0.99

00:49:16.980 that's in that dude that's dude that's me yeah that is you loveland toad baby nessie got that bomb 1.00

00:49:22.820 pussy yeah i bet it does i bet it's mushy that guy's got that mushy pussy all right but what is 1.00

00:49:29.780 what is that a ningen 1.00

00:49:30.740 ningen look at that frozen bus

00:49:37.860 he's a ca patricia here's what we want okay so we got that's bigfoot obviously but do we have to

00:49:43.940 limit this to ones that the chupacabra chupacabra right yeah do we have to limit this to ones that are

00:49:50.100 in the smoky mountain region though no no no no it's just he just said dude the chupacabra will

00:49:55.780 fucking ravage you man oh yeah that's if that's what you want none of these things are anywhere toad we 0.95

00:50:00.980 can just pick um pick one of you a yaoi how about the skunk that'd be pretty cool dude the zanzibar 0.99

00:50:07.220 leopard looks like a jersey devil that's the oh yeah the jersey devil the mothman i bet the mothman is a 0.98

00:50:11.860 good fuck that was yeah i think i would go because oh that's that is concerning no no no but imagine 0.99

00:50:18.820 being able to fly and have sex at the same time and so this dude is just like flying and you're 1.00

00:50:25.620 just like pounding it like yeah but he's straight to hell dude good luck you're going to hell having 1.00

00:50:30.580 gay sex anyway so that's a good mothman is basically like an incubus man i think that would that would be 1.00

00:50:35.060 the best fuck out of those for sure i think cole is right i i don't know i saw skunk ape on the list 1.00

00:50:40.820 so if you're really into that like must that he gives off that thing doesn't make my dick hard 1.00

00:50:47.860 yeah that's no that makes my dick hard right there look at this look at those fucking ripped abs 1.00

00:50:52.980 come gutters all the way man mothman's come gutters give me it legend legend of the mothman 0.99

00:50:59.060 he's got great abs i'll give him that yeah hell yeah abs of steel you might say 1.00

00:51:03.780 oh yeah mothman is the answer fuck fuck them off yeah enjoy enjoy your mothman smoky mountain tour with 1.00

00:51:13.700 your bitch all right they're gonna name the armless guy encrypted yeah anybody with disabilities is 1.00

00:51:23.380 encrypted any paraplegic is basically just like not real to me oh you mean you mean the the mythical 0.99

00:51:31.620 meth addict subway dweller yes oh the mythical no no we mean actually we mean this yo that that thing 0.60

00:51:39.380 is awesome dude i dude dude i love it dude she would be my real doll

00:51:47.700 it's a ridiculous thing that is a smoke show it's got to be fake right i don't know when i first saw

00:51:53.300 this picture like i only when it came up on twitter i only saw yeah like this portion of it and i thought 0.95

00:51:58.340 i thought it was i only saw the bottom portion of it and and i thought it was an ass and then i saw 0.77

00:52:06.100 the whole picture here's here's the reason i don't believe it's real i don't know how you keep a physique

00:52:11.140 like that when you have no capacity to do anything other than roll around like how is the abs and i

00:52:17.140 she's she's rolling hard and that's it i don't do anything else yeah like how are you toned

00:52:22.900 it's gotta be fake it's gotta be no way all right here's the thing it could be ai generated that'd be

00:52:34.660 insane all right assume it's real assume it's real for a second she's obviously a stunner do you carry 1.00

00:52:40.420 her to meet your parents yeah like you don't carry her in like a baby and be like look at this 0.99

00:52:47.860 fucking sexy thing i got dad that's just pop her down on the table you have to feed her do you do 1.00

00:52:52.820 like the airplane open up you do that with your dick too oh my god dude i mean it it really is just 1.00

00:53:05.620 like i mean it's the perfect if you were the jujitsu as well that's like those like because 0.99

00:53:10.100 they you they don't they use like those bags like those heavy bags to like roll around with 0.97

00:53:15.220 like like throw it be like she can't do shit she can't do anything it's crazy dude she is the hottest 1.00

00:53:21.700 body pillow i've ever seen i mean i mean it's not she's not gonna cook for you she's not i mean if 0.99

00:53:26.980 she she's literally just there to fucking get drilled like that's our whole existence yeah and 1.00

00:53:32.820 she's gonna smell she can't clean i don't know did you maybe maybe she has people uh like work 1.00

00:53:41.300 her out somehow and google search this woman he's trying to reverse image search to see if it's fake 1.00

00:53:48.660 this is how you know it's ai because ai can't generate hands and feet correctly yeah that's what

00:53:53.060 i was gonna say i was like is this this is like some sort of like weird like pass by for them because

00:53:58.420 they can get past all like not being able to do the fingers uh go see uh tops uh crazy

00:54:04.340 but cole would you leave your wife for her not a chance okay i i like i like having a woman that

00:54:09.460 can cook for me and i like i like someone that can fight back i like a little feistiness so 0.99

00:54:17.140 no yes so do i yeah that's weird i like fucking this chick would almost be like 0.99

00:54:22.660 like fucking a dead chick and i'm not into that so you're not into it at all yeah i just i just 0.99

00:54:27.940 couldn't see doing it really even even though she's hottest maybe i'd do it just for the novelty of it 1.00

00:54:32.740 she is do it just to get your fucking dick wet man like what are you talking about dude dude imagine 1.00

00:54:37.940 for the novelty dude yeah you you would pay your entire life savings for a fucking sniff of this 1.00

00:54:43.620 bitch why are you lying dude imagine if she was the one she is clearly the one yeah she can't 1.00

00:54:49.780 sandwich she can't clean she can't like she can't there's no way you can imagine her pregnant like 1.00

00:54:57.300 what would that look like i mean easy birth she's just like 1.00

00:55:05.460 there's nothing in the way they don't have to spread the legs it's just like they have those like 1.00

00:55:10.820 stirrups and they're like no you can put those up you don't need those for this one

00:55:14.740 i mean the sex position options are very limited because you're just like you just let her flat

00:55:20.980 no no i think i think oh but you could spin you could literally spin it i was gonna say there are

00:55:26.260 more options because of that the legs aren't gonna get in the way the options are limited but there are

00:55:31.460 also more it's an interesting that's that's a lot of great options for some average options

00:55:41.780 that was you know that's the show title paraplegic paradox that's great

00:55:46.660 she's quadriplegic and actually she's not she's a quad quad amputee regardless yeah whatever oh man 0.71

00:55:52.660 that was fun all right uh what i don't was that a question i don't think so we got other videos if

00:55:57.220 you could pull those when you know we were just uh yeah talking about how hot that torso is you 0.99

00:56:01.540 put her away in the closet let me just put it and if i and if i had fucked her i would have torn 1.00

00:56:06.580 her good you could punt her so far too you know how easy it would be to cheat on her you could throw 1.00

00:56:12.820 her around so easy you could be like what are you gonna do follow me what are you gonna do check

00:56:17.700 my phone yeah she can't even hit you here i'll give it to you go ahead scroll through it with your 0.98

00:56:25.700 no arms bitch the fact that she can't clean is also a problem though magoo said less is 1.00

00:56:32.660 whore that's pretty funny oh my god this is great oh this video is wild if you could just play the last 1.00

00:56:41.700 minute of it this is a man who is absolutely losing his mind that there is a crying baby on the flight 0.72

00:56:47.140 yeah yeah that's perfect reasonable i agree the audio all the way up because it's kind of faint

00:56:57.220 if it ever plays so this is yeah i mean everyone's been on a flight i've been on a lot of flights i've

00:57:02.580 been on 12 flights this year um dude i was on a lot of crying babies it's not fun but i have never in

00:57:08.820 my life seen or even considered for a split second doing what this lunatic did no i i was on a red eye

00:57:16.180 uh after the reno uh convention i was flying from san francisco back to boston and the woman next to me

00:57:22.020 had a baby was kicking me for the entire flight so that was what's worse uh um a baby in an airplane

00:57:28.580 or a baby in the movie theater i would say movie theater the movie i want i would lean movie theater 0.99

00:57:34.900 as well unless i'm trying to sleep then it's kind of fucked well there's two there's kind of two i feel 0.95

00:57:38.900 like there's two things this the movie theater because you're there to watch a movie like you like that is 0.99

00:57:43.460 you can't block out sound because that's just there for that do you think the black babies are 1.00

00:57:49.220 more i was just gonna say that so i had an experience where i went i went with my friends

00:57:53.460 like a midnight showing of wally back in the day and like one other person in the theater and it was

00:57:58.500 this black woman with her baby and i'm like oh come on man like what are you doing like taking your

00:58:03.620 taking your baby to wally but then yeah it's a it's a black baby so it's a movie crier 0.99

00:58:09.220 i'm gonna try to keep my profit if i wasn't on this plane 0.99

00:58:14.980 there's a child trying on the flight non-fucking-stop 0.97

00:58:21.540 that's what's happening 0.98

00:58:26.020 can you lower that voice

00:58:27.700 no no no no no no let's be nice hold on hold on you want to be 0.98

00:58:37.700 oh no no no no that's a black you talking can we agree with that oh yeah 1.00

00:58:42.020 absolutely absolutely we are in we are in a fucking tin cave 1.00

00:58:46.180 with a baby in a goddamn echo chamber and you want to talk to me oh he didn't 1.00

00:58:52.020 okay okay yeah but he's like he's citing david bowie 1.00

00:58:55.380 so he's the baby

00:58:58.180 did that 1.00

00:58:58.580 motherfucker pay 1.00

00:58:59.460 extra to you 1.00

00:59:02.500 get that 1.00

00:59:02.980 fucking nigger off the plane 1.00

00:59:06.100 i don't give a 1.00

00:59:06.820 fuck you were you were sitting there 0.99

00:59:08.740 watching that 1.00

00:59:09.220 motherfucking baby 1.00

00:59:10.740 okay 0.99

00:59:11.060 dude

00:59:12.900 it had nothing to do with

00:59:14.660 nothing 0.95

00:59:15.060 there is literally nothing better than when a black man gets upset 1.00

00:59:26.420 that's it 0.96

00:59:26.980 i'm triggered

00:59:30.420 i'm telling you it is it is the most irrational anger to have to to be

00:59:35.140 like actually verbally upset at a infant like what a little

00:59:39.940 i don't know

00:59:40.820 there is this man

00:59:41.780 is probably

00:59:42.340 trying to control the uncle

00:59:44.260 uh

00:59:47.700 i it's

00:59:48.820 i can understand dude there's something about like a baby crying in public

00:59:53.300 that is so like and like my elizabeth hates like because she always tries to keep 1.00

00:59:57.860 him like it's not really that big a deal but at the same time like we went to a nice

01:00:01.380 restaurant like a couple weeks ago a nice italian restaurant and a baby just started

01:00:05.940 screaming in the entire and like like my skin is crawling i'm i'm getting secondhand

01:00:11.700 embarrassment from this baby just screaming and i'll say i'll say this if you are in a

01:00:16.180 public place where you can actually vacate i think it is the proper thing to do is to leave

01:00:21.620 the venue until if it's a full tantrum thing but you're on a 0.97

01:00:25.540 fucking plane bro like there's literally nothing you can do yeah it's like what are you 0.98

01:00:29.860 supposed to do leave the baby back at where you were before just like 1.00

01:00:32.820 no no throw the baby off the plane no no just put it in the uh can i get a carry on or put it in

01:00:38.020 the cargo hold with the animals put it down i mean do you want to shake this luggage

01:00:42.020 throw it in the cargo hold with my with my girlfriend 0.99

01:00:46.420 i loaded her in the fucking luggage she's got no arms or legs but she's 1.00

01:00:50.820 sexy as a motherfucker believe it all right but you gotta kill the baby you gotta 1.00

01:00:55.620 it's just bad enough of these motherfucking babies on this motherfucking plane 1.00

01:00:59.060 that's basically the reaction this guy it's true it is so oh god i i i can i can understand his 0.99

01:01:09.060 anger because imagine like if this is probably like you know two hours in it's not stopped you

01:01:13.060 haven't gotten he said he said 45 minutes he was very explicit on how long it had been going

01:01:16.820 i mean but he knew it was gonna be another two hours of this yeah look yeah i think i think at some

01:01:22.340 point like even if he wanted to just go like to the mom like is there anything you could do to console

01:01:28.260 them i would appreciate it like i wouldn't do that but like if he took it to that level i 1.00

01:01:32.500 wouldn't be like you're a piece of fucking shit this reaction is scum of the earth like terrible 0.98

01:01:39.140 human being behavior but also really funny and also and i appreciate it for the show's content 1.00

01:01:45.700 jesus what have we become like it's a it's a infant you literally can't leave so all she can do is try

01:01:52.180 and console the baby if the baby's inconsolable it's like you gotta get an abortion we've been 0.53

01:01:56.260 doing it for years this is why my community we don't ever have problems like this that's right

01:02:03.780 scg i agree this man is a hero he's to be he's standing up and being like listen we gotta stop

01:02:08.260 letting babies on planes for the unspoken for look man you want to just yeah toss the baby off the plane 0.99

01:02:13.940 that's just evictionism it's fine that's true yes or just or be like you know fucking drive 1.00

01:02:19.780 bitch like you gotta you gotta what do you what do you babies even sit like what do you do with 1.00

01:02:25.700 them on a plane like do you put them in the seat beside you they have certain special seats i never 1.00

01:02:29.940 had i never usually the mother the mother holds them just holds them so you can so you can drive

01:02:36.260 you can't drive with them holding them but you can fly which is i mean i mean she's not piloting the

01:02:42.180 plane but if you're piloting a planet you're doing less continuous work than if you're driving a vehicle

01:02:47.460 what if it's cross country you can't drive with a baby across country that'd be brutal 0.86

01:02:52.500 yeah no yeah it would be yeah i mean but it's brutal just for you it's not brutal these other

01:02:58.020 britain people we're just talking about a passenger here yeah yeah throw it in the overhead for sure

01:03:06.820 i mean i think i think there is a fair argument to be made that at this point in our evolution

01:03:12.660 like honestly if we were to deregulate the airline industry and just allow for genuine

01:03:17.060 competition which we have not there would probably be babyless planes sound well baby

01:03:22.580 planes yes but i was thinking yeah and maybe full planes uh little yeah baby compartments that you

01:03:28.020 can just put your baby in there to let them cry themselves to sleep it's the same in the smoking

01:03:31.380 compartment make it the same they make the smoking requirement and the baby car the same and that

01:03:36.340 way you like de-incentivize yeah toughen their lungs up right i guess also de-incentivize both because

01:03:41.060 like you're a smoker and you're going to be there like here's a baby in there you're like should i smoke okay 0.99

01:03:44.900 i'm gonna do it anyway but then if your mother putting your baby in the fucking smoking compartment 1.00

01:03:49.140 you're an asshole just don't take him on the plane right i don't want secondhand baby but maybe we 1.00

01:03:53.060 could do something maybe we could maybe we could do something where like the the away carry-on 1.00

01:03:59.860 people could like make uh luggage where you could store the baby in it you can put the baby away in

01:04:05.780 this thing away luggage away carry-on here you go i still think i think babyless planes would be so

01:04:11.620 great i mean any type of like uh can we get blacklist planes i was about to say it

01:04:20.900 i feel like the free market would provide yeah yeah the blacks will have their own plane 1.00

01:04:25.060 it's blacklist the blacklist movie theater you know that sometimes i feel compelled just to make 0.76

01:04:30.740 a joke before you guys because i know you're about to sometimes i just steal it i just run from you 0.67

01:04:37.140 i feel like blacklist movie theater would be a great fucking bit like as a like i'm just like 0.88

01:04:43.060 just putting it out there just as it's called the quiet theater yeah you can make a great you could 0.88

01:04:47.540 make a great like minute long youtube short yes it's just like it's just like fine dining and there's

01:04:52.500 like classical music as you walk in it it's like it's all super it's a commercial it's a commercial for

01:04:57.060 a blacklist theater it's it's it's the new era of silent movies but it's the audience that's silent and

01:05:03.140 it's not black and white but but you also have to like get on the whites a little bit and just be

01:05:09.380 like also it's it's like a mandatory to stand up it's mandatory to stand up and clap after the movie 0.98

01:05:16.100 is done it's like you have to you have to leave your popcorn like i feel like that's some shit that 0.98

01:05:22.980 only like that black people definitely don't do but i could be wrong do they do they applaud because 0.99

01:05:27.540 yeah at the end of like like especially in like a movie like franchise where they're really into it

01:05:36.180 like at the end of any like marvel movie yes yes john wick or something i remember that when i when 0.95

01:05:41.460 i watched like star wars 8 or whatever the fuck i uh yeah last piece of shit movie yeah and everyone 0.95

01:05:47.300 and everyone stood up and and started to clap and i and i was like that was when i knew for sure i was 0.96

01:05:52.580 a wigger because i was i i couldn't relate to it yeah i was i was like what is happening it never 0.97

01:05:57.220 makes sense to me they're like you know you know no one that is in the movie is here right like you

01:06:01.780 know that right it doesn't matter bizarre behavior yeah it it is i i never there's a screen but but

01:06:09.940 i mean i kind of understand because there used to be the i don't know if it happens a lot anymore

01:06:13.540 but the clapping after a plane lands i can kind of get that because you're like the pilot's there but

01:06:19.060 but i was still on my way to uh ibiza or ibiza and it was the it was the most violently turbulent

01:06:25.940 flight i've ever been on and we landed and everyone clapped and i clapped too because i was like that 0.79

01:06:31.220 shit was scary so like i get it if it's like sketchy and you're like just happy to be alive 0.75

01:06:35.940 if it's just a normal flight yeah it's just like we did it like if you're on the la to vegas flight 0.99

01:06:43.220 and it's just like it's like an hour yeah and then at the end of every flight the pilot is like 0.92

01:06:48.900 there for like a meet and greet as you're walking off what the fuck is that if you want some praise 0.85

01:06:54.820 for doing for doing your job yeah thank you for not killing us yeah that is that is an interesting 1.00

01:06:59.220 about that recently about like it's like man that shit fucking sucked what are you 1.00

01:07:03.300 fucking pilot license yeah walk by the pilot fuck you man that should be a thing just like anytime you 1.00

01:07:11.540 see like a pilot and be like man that fuck it sucks i've been you know you know how easy it 1.00

01:07:16.260 must be to fly given how few crashes there are per year like it's got to be an easy right and then 0.99

01:07:20.820 how shocked are you when the pilot's standing there and it's a woman i feel like i've never

01:07:24.820 got you there safe you've never had that happen really wow nope that's why that's why i've survived 0.95

01:07:29.220 every flight wow i'm posting that on my ass but i believe it's 100 true that 95 of the work 0.79

01:07:35.540 is not done by the pilot it's computerized i'm i'm totally confident there's definitely 0.98

01:07:39.460 i might be low-balling how much the pilots don't do dude if you sit in first class which i never

01:07:46.500 have but i've snuck uh up there to see what it's like before like uh elaine and seinfeld you might 0.96

01:07:52.580 see the pilot and co-pilot both not in the cockpit so it's like wait what the fuck is going on they're 0.75

01:07:58.820 just coming out and like talking to people while the plane is i've never seen that that would be

01:08:02.900 really disturbing i haven't oh i mean i've seen one of them come out to go to the bathroom but that's 0.98

01:08:06.900 why there's two on the plane so that like one they come out you know they fuck the flight attendants 1.00

01:08:11.940 it's like wait a minute who's flying the plane dude flight attendants i actually hooked up with 0.98

01:08:16.020 the flight attendant once and uh i learned that they are they just they're just globe trotting

01:08:23.460 ho bags yeah that's that's really what they're about because they're flying all day every day

01:08:28.180 that's all they do so they have no they basically have no social life so the only thing they do is like 0.73

01:08:32.260 fuck random people right it's like uh up in the air with george clooney where i'm pretty sure what 1.00

01:08:37.460 was he was like traveling on business all the time he's just fucking bitches in hotels yeah like 1.00

01:08:42.020 married hookups yeah that's what's going on there yeah and she also she had a uh open relationship 0.99

01:08:49.060 with her husband i was like all right very interesting she's just literally flying around

01:08:53.300 the country just blowing dudes dude she that means she knows uh what the i really hope she's like 0.99

01:09:00.500 every race of penises also i really hope she's like giving you the in-flight directions but while she's 1.00

01:09:05.460 blowing you so she's like if any of you want to come out of this blowjob you can yeah that's that's the 0.99

01:09:11.300 in-flight erections there you go got it you had to do it uh we got one more video i think 0.99

01:09:19.300 uh we we do have uh there were a couple other things that i threw in there yeah i don't know

01:09:23.940 oh yeah yeah we have this one we don't have to go the full hour and a half tonight we only have

01:09:27.060 three of us so you get a well yeah let's bless let's bless these videos up we'll see how it goes

01:09:33.060 we'll blast one out he does have a nice booty that is a very nice booty oh he's gonna stick his finger 1.00

01:09:37.540 in there yeah oh what does he do he's really getting in there deep he's holy why would he do that

01:09:45.380 that so wait this is open booty hole you're not sticking your finger in wait where so where is 0.65

01:09:49.700 this so this is a homeless black guy with his pants down this and this is an asian guy right this is how 0.88

01:09:55.940 you control the homeless population and stop people you should do the mexican or asian that's not asian 1.00

01:10:02.420 dude really but he's wearing that like bandana thing like a sushi chef dude he gets all up in all

01:10:08.340 the way he like he like searches for it you see him like he like he was like where's that where's

01:10:12.660 that there it is he was like i'm getting in there boy what well black guy's just like what is that 0.99

01:10:18.260 why are you asleep on the ground with your fucking pants down i don't know none of this i don't 0.99

01:10:22.420 understand any of this this where i'm telling you this is the way to stop this this is chicago okay 1.00

01:10:29.940 they're trying to get it for like sexual assault 0.99

01:10:32.340 that's awesome look at that dude that's that's the fucking karate kid man it's ralph maccio 0.99

01:10:41.140 i can't believe ralph maccio did that i know uh well i mean i kind of can 0.94

01:10:45.780 did he smell it did he smell it afterwards did he do a little bit the guy's going in there like

01:10:50.420 a ninja and just like covertly penetrating the bottle play the whole thing yeah full

01:10:54.580 screen i want to see if he smells his finger afterwards this is what what an odd you go

01:10:58.420 find it find it there we go and wait okay well what what if we're missing if his finger is up to

01:11:05.380 his nose you can't see look maybe this guy's just trying to alleviate the homelessness epidemic he's

01:11:12.020 just going around fingering every i just said that's what i'm saying this is how you stop homelessness or

01:11:17.140 at least let's stop from people from being like tower naked in public i mean this guy let's think 0.77

01:11:22.500 about who's really being rude here you have a half naked black man who's literally he's he's 0.99

01:11:28.100 crossing the entire pathway he had no choice but to his ass give him the 10 of that walkway right 0.99

01:11:33.780 there whatever misunderstanding the situation though and the black guy is hiding illicit material 1.00

01:11:40.980 cocaine or something in his asshole and this guy is like the the guy who's supposed to be like 0.99

01:11:45.780 picking up the drug would that not be this guy's a drug mule we're misunderstanding for the split 1.00

01:11:50.740 second would that not

01:11:56.180 i will say this never have i had that intrusive thought that is a i will now unfortunately

01:12:03.300 anytime i see it like a plumber's crack i'm gonna be like

01:12:06.020 i'll be like same man can i can i snake your brain for what here's the thing a bizarre thing for 0.98

01:12:14.660 the you see the split second where he pushed his ass back up in his in his make me believe jazzy 1.00

01:12:20.340 he was in there and like yeah he was like pulling him up by his asshole i'm telling you for a split 1.00

01:12:25.540 second and that guy's dreams he just had the best fucking like dream because it's just like he's 0.99

01:12:31.460 dreaming all of a sudden his ass just feels and he's like oh that feels pretty good and they're 0.99

01:12:35.140 like wait a second that's fucking real i think he came can you can you imagine snapping awake i mean 0.99

01:12:42.820 first off you're asleep on the ground in the subway again i don't know why this yeah yeah this is but 1.00

01:12:48.020 but then you wake up to a fucking stranger's finger in your asshole god this is the first we just showed 1.00

01:12:54.260 a rape video on this show i know uh for youtube purposes we did not show that oh that's right 1.00

01:13:00.660 um all right next one please if you don't mind what else we got i threw some extra stuff in the in

01:13:07.380 the uh sheet there we had uh we had the dude uh who was shot is that this one what are we doing yeah

01:13:12.900 that's this this is this is what yeah it's crazy yeah all right so this is this dude he'll tell you

01:13:20.180 what happened right in his uh like under his arm yeah like underarm yeah it's like in his armpit

01:13:36.580 it's a hard video right here though yeah hold on you can hear you can hear the blood hitting the ground

01:13:44.900 do you imagine getting shot and being like i'm gonna go on tiktok right now oh look at you see

01:13:49.860 that it's pouring my mom just shot me yeah my mom just shot me we know my mom just shot me yep we

01:13:59.540 know well when we dude she was just trying to perform a late-term abortion baby why not call 1.00

01:14:03.860 an ambulance bro is that where your break already is going oh my god this uh he had to raise his

01:14:14.580 hand her at her to get shot on up under his arm she's like she was like he was hitting his mom and 1.00

01:14:20.980 she did it yeah yeah what if it what if it was just some what if it was just some

01:14:27.860 if you could tell me what happened i'd appreciate it

01:14:31.780 yeah i'm sorry i'm not sure i understand what's going on i still don't i'm not quite getting it if you

01:14:37.780 could clarify what exactly transpired that would be excellent

01:14:44.260 that's right i'm just showing me i still don't understand

01:14:49.460 i think i'm starting to get it well you know how they they threw out that statistic recently

01:14:58.340 okay no no i get it now go to the hospital what are you doing what was the stat that was

01:15:02.580 thrown out recently that was like one in five people are shot by family members or something

01:15:07.540 wait wait wait a second sorry did you hear the the uh the smoke detector go off no go back it

01:15:13.460 started beeping go back a little bit right there right there go go go you'll hear it it's the funniest 0.99

01:15:19.060 fucking shit i couldn't there it is just gotta replace the battery no no yeah it's tough you can't 0.98

01:15:25.780 reach up to the ceiling that was just low battery yeah what's funny is like this is uh like he's literally 0.99

01:15:32.420 bleeding out on video he's saying it over and over again well this is what happens when it because

01:15:37.140 there's no brain there's no blood going to his brain so i mean it just hit him from like 80 iq to

01:15:41.940 like 40. like this is

01:15:50.260 this is like that he's shifting the bell curve you remember that uh that knife video the guy in the

01:15:55.300 mall that got stabbed yeah dude this reminds me of that but like a lot slower i could know that one

01:16:00.500 like that one was bad dude that one was spurting out and you see someone go like it's like 0.99

01:16:06.820 instantaneous yeah because he goes like oh you're fucking stabbed fuck you like it's like i've never 0.99

01:16:14.100 i've never seen anyone like go i i i didn't realize how fast that but this is just happening in 1.00

01:16:19.300 go drink some water he needs some milk

01:16:22.500 your iron's low bro we see cole in the tiktok comments just walking off bro yeah that's true 0.66

01:16:36.260 oh man dude that's so sad i don't like i don't even know

01:16:40.180 like again every single video we watched tonight it just made me question humanity it's like it's all

01:16:44.980 so sad this is fine there is a common theme this is like this is the video here i mean just these

01:16:50.260 videos have been dark have you noticed a common theme running throughout them however did he get

01:16:56.340 you hear the fire alarm battery did you uh do we know if he lived did he actually no way dude there's

01:17:03.060 no way there's so much blood i mean you have a lot of blood in you yeah but he had a lot of blood 0.99

01:17:09.460 coming out of him i bet that bloodless dick is still bigger than mine oh my god i'm telling you 0.99

01:17:16.820 i bet it still hangs man what a weird thing to say about a dead black man dude do we know 1.00

01:17:26.980 he did get slowly it was like he was slowly losing just shot dude when uh when cole's talking about 0.99

01:17:33.380 somebody being a dead eight that's just that that's that's his dick size also i mean his blood 0.97

01:17:40.260 also wasn't clotting because the sickle cell oh my god 0.99

01:17:47.300 did you think he said blickle cell

01:17:51.860 that's it for the lore this apparently he was arrested a while back for flying off a gun 1.00

01:17:55.540 now it seems his mom got tired of his shit his mom shot him because he didn't wash the chicken 0.99

01:18:04.660 right he was like you gotta use cloaks and you gotta use dawn oh you're gonna eat them 1.00

01:18:09.620 orange chickens

01:18:15.220 i'll pull out my 45 you bring out that chicken right boy we can we pull up that article just

01:18:21.540 get a little bit more i just want to know if he's alive dude yeah that's what i want to know i want to

01:18:25.380 know what the argument is about this this ain't this ain't gonna do us anything that's 2021 we need

01:18:28.980 the fucking the articles about like all right yeah you can look up his name and maybe all right yeah 0.90

01:18:34.580 keeshawn words yo that's his name 0.99

01:18:38.900 keeshawn i know my mom 2022 i know keeshawn my mom just shot me words this is black or whacked 0.58

01:18:48.580 yo oh oh no no we already have his name dog just google it no no he's he's bringing up the full 0.98

01:18:58.340 article man i know all we need is the fucking little dicky is a sly dog here sean words just 0.99

01:19:04.020 fucking why did you just google the name god damn it but that didn't seem right because that article 0.99

01:19:09.860 was that article was talking about a man firing guns so did he fire and then his mom shot him back 0.99

01:19:15.060 is that what's going on no no no no no this is he just he got arrested for firing but this is just

01:19:19.380 same guy just later on oh he got arrested he got arrested in 2021 and then two years later his mom

01:19:24.500 shot him is he alive that's all i got you i got you hold on go back is that the exit wound right

01:19:31.940 there the blacks doing a lot of shooting no no that's just no no i don't know is that just blood

01:19:36.580 on him because yeah because he because his mom just shot him i don't know he's gonna be alive at the 0.64

01:19:41.620 time of this report his mother ashlyn words shot him hitting an artery he is said to be alive but

01:19:47.940 we don't know he's like um wait why'd they arrest the mom she shot him oh did she

01:19:56.740 oh yeah we didn't we didn't know i had no idea what had happened i'm so glad you clarified yeah the 0.87

01:20:01.860 man is said to be alive but we don't know it's exactly like uh what what the fuck was that guy

01:20:05.940 guy got shot by his mom and he wouldn't and you could have told him and he would be like my mom 0.99

01:20:11.380 just shot my mom my mom just shot you 0.99

01:20:18.500 he's like he's like Groot but with like six words 0.86

01:20:24.580 five words excuse me

01:20:26.340 my mom

01:20:29.060 if he's Groot but he says he's a little happy my mom just shot me 0.99

01:20:31.940 he's baby Groot ah fuck dude what a weird video all right we got anything else i think we do one 0.98

01:20:38.260 more uh there might have been yeah there's i think there was one other one in there that i threw in 0.97

01:20:42.740 there wasn't there we'll find out uh while you're there if you guys could hit the like button i'd

01:20:48.660 appreciate it if you could leave some comments you're already doing great in the chat funny as

01:20:51.860 ever you guys love the chat always best chat man then hit the subscribe button and make sure you

01:20:58.660 clip the funniest bits from the show you share them on social media 0.99

01:21:01.860 bro noblem is like freaking out because he might know this fucking guy 0.99

01:21:05.860 oh interesting oh yeah we had we had this one that we haven't played yet i think this is the last 0.98

01:21:10.500 one we have in the in the queue we'll go political right now in ukraine if you were

01:21:15.220 the president putin uses the n-word i call it the n-word he uses the n-word 0.99

01:21:19.940 i've been saying putin's not such a bad guy no dude dude putin is a motherfucking nuker 1.00

01:21:29.380 dude i i i love just how trump just every i mean he just like throw things out there and 0.98

01:21:34.820 he has to either he doesn't he said that shit on tucker carlson too by the way he said the exact 0.95

01:21:38.740 same line he said it's like it's like his go-to it's like he's rolling the hits man he's not he's not 0.99

01:21:43.380 even ad-libbing like he i mean he may have ad-libbed it on tucker but he brought that one out again he's

01:21:47.540 like this is a winning line dude he's his dog whistling to tower gang that's what's going on 0.99

01:21:52.740 donald trump come on tower gang god he's fucking bad putin uses the n-word i call it the n-word 0.98

01:21:59.220 it's like yeah we're we're familiar with some n-words right putin's my buddy he calls he says the 0.99

01:22:03.140 n-word all the time putin uses the best word ever it's the n-word he even uses the hard r with this 0.95

01:22:09.860 this is this is why he never got along with obama god damn it oh yeah we should talk about 0.97

01:22:18.100 liberty and lingerie should we oh top's not gonna like this okay so so toad toad sees this uh this 0.95

01:22:25.620 profile which by the way none of us have ever seen before which is mysterious because i have no idea

01:22:29.940 i've never seen this she has risen to the the lofty 25 000 follower uh mark or something like that

01:22:36.420 and and this is what toad says well we're all asleep well she's supposedly a libertarian i guess 0.72

01:22:41.700 and she has an only fans that she is really a large woman and has massive titties she's a she's a human 0.98

01:22:48.740 monstrosity and this is what toad has to say about her that chick has a pretty face it's a shame she's so 1.00

01:22:53.820 fat i probably would though keep in mind none of us are saying anything no i probably would though

01:22:59.920 just happens a lot by the way this happens all the time this is this is my favorite thing about our

01:23:04.340 group chat it's just it's just his diary of depravity he goes just find me a pic of those 0.99

01:23:09.480 big fat titties so i know what they look like all right i found some leaks jesus fucking christ those 0.99

01:23:15.040 are mega j cups probably i've seriously never heard of this chick before odd since she has a huge 1.00

01:23:21.420 following and even huger titties i think i'm falling hard or i'm failing hard at what i do and what what 0.93

01:23:28.980 he does is he creeps fucking only fans hoes on the internet yeah jesus christ what an incredible 1.00

01:23:35.100 disclosure that group that group chat no no no no what i meant was i thought that i knew who all 0.97

01:23:40.540 the only fans uh chicks were i can't it's just it's like watching one of those indian guys comment 0.83

01:23:47.400 under like random girls like show bob yeah he's like look at the big old milkers i can't believe 0.97

01:23:55.680 she has a big following and even bigger titties 1.00

01:24:01.400 i don't know how much sleep i had had at that point

01:24:07.000 it's it's amazing and i'm telling you like you don't understand people this happens all the time

01:24:12.360 he goes on little rants it happens all he goes on little rants and it's usually about like

01:24:19.420 random chicks or do it about betting he will just go off on betting and nobody's talking to him nobody 0.83

01:24:26.540 normally when we do reply we just go shut up

01:24:29.780 no one cares that's what we'll say to him in response this one we said something i don't remember

01:24:36.980 it was funny but uh man it's so it's so bizarre i love i love how honest you are with us though

01:24:42.340 it's nice yeah it's amazing we love you we hope we do it we do i mean we love you which is why we

01:24:47.240 want you to get help for like all of that kind of but we also need like we know like we need you on

01:24:52.560 the show but we can't let you know that too much we had to keep you like we had to neg you almost to

01:24:57.940 keep you like you know going so you don't humble yeah is that why i thought that i was only here as

01:25:03.040 like a make a wish type of thing no no no even though i even though i started the show you just have

01:25:07.820 you have an irrationally outsized ego so we have to tear you down the fact that your wish 0.99

01:25:13.400 is to be on the show and not to get some pussy that's the problem that's it that's like do i 1.00

01:25:19.960 other than when you were ranked about being on tower guy that was a little irrationally 0.99

01:25:27.000 egotistical but yeah thank you for the fucking that laugh that was great i i feel like we should 0.96

01:25:32.940 uh read it when jose and toad or yeah we get the wheel we're going to visit this because i bet top 0.97

01:25:37.640 has some great things to say about this dude i try to provide i don't remember what i said like

01:25:43.420 yesterday maybe if a top mentioned something like like why are you not this funny on the show

01:25:47.920 i don't know i was talking about that strip club story i think but whatever i i can tell them on the 0.79

01:25:53.200 show this week i already told the uh jerking off during class thing right yeah yeah yeah 0.99

01:25:59.360 stop stuffing your balls yeah that was last week yeah toad want toad desperately wants to tell this 0.99

01:26:04.900 incredibly mundane strip club story no i won't tell it i won't tell it you guys you guys don't want 1.00

01:26:11.800 it don't ever yeah forest mommy what's up forest mommy what to do she's gonna be running for fucking 0.99

01:26:17.380 colorado bullshit something city council uh too too late for colorado like i it sucks because 0.99

01:26:23.280 it's a fucking beautiful state and like gorgeous and like 80 percent of it is filled with totally sane 1.00

01:26:29.120 normal people but 20 of it is filled with fucking scumbag leftist lunatics yeah but that 80 is like 0.99

01:26:36.440 the wilderness so we're pretty much nobody is except yeah it's just yes sparsely populated sane people and 1.00

01:26:43.420 then the cities are all terrible i mean they they had a fucking presser for the governor to sit up there 0.97

01:26:51.200 and be like yo this is this is the spot this is where all the trans kids can now flee to to get 1.00

01:26:58.260 treatment like what the fuck are you doing but but josh it's an underground railroad for fucking 0.99

01:27:02.900 sorry i am down for all them all being in one place that we can bomb oh my god uh where's where's 0.99

01:27:11.500 where's the uh the aurora shooter at or you can just wait a decade oh yeah that long i mean they

01:27:18.900 don't make it that far man where's the columbine kids but uh josh eagle i believe uh had tweeted out

01:27:25.460 that uh polis is more libertarian than desantis i don't know if you saw that one polis uh being

01:27:32.700 the guy uh who you just said was inviting all the trans kids to his state i i i haven't seen that

01:27:38.820 tweet because i've had that kid blocked for months but it doesn't surprise me yeah it still follows

01:27:42.880 him i don't know i don't follow i feel like you're a masochist toad i think i don't follow

01:27:48.440 yourself just because like i don't know all of all the other ones of us are like you know we're

01:27:54.620 blocked this person we're not gonna and he comes in with like no this is what this person has been 0.99

01:27:58.840 doing and he brings them all like he has like the entire backstory look at this fucking queers 1.00

01:28:03.300 tweets no yeah yeah that's that's more like it yeah go look at this fucking faggot yeah he does 1.00

01:28:08.260 he's a spaggot a lot but at the same time i'm thinking like dude you're the faggot i'm still 1.00

01:28:12.920 reading his shit i like pain and some just in my mind i'm thinking that people are gonna see 1.00

01:28:21.860 this like outsiders i'm not gonna change his mind but i think i'm gonna change like 1.00

01:28:25.720 outsiders minds potentially where they say all right this guy is a total faggot but this guy 1.00

01:28:30.760 is like bullying that faggot i'm i'm gonna be on the bully's side i don't know does that make 1.00

01:28:36.180 any sense i i mean i'm the bully in this situation yeah i know you you are like bullying 0.99

01:28:40.880 losers and nerds that no one cares about yeah which is fine i don't like hate that but i like 0.98

01:28:46.100 to flip the script man because i've been on the opposite side of it oh so you become a bully 0.98

01:28:50.860 because you were bullied that's yeah that's i'm surprised you didn't become a cop i wasn't i 0.99

01:28:55.780 wasn't bullied uh badly enough i kind of fucking worst cop yeah you're a scary cop well like during 1.00

01:29:01.860 high school you're like shut the fuck just give me a ticket i don't want to hear about the 1.00

01:29:05.440 shut the fuck up man i kind of just transitioned from like the you were going seven and a half 1.00

01:29:12.760 over the speed limit that's the same line i lost on last night on the brooklyn nets can you fucking 1.00

01:29:16.840 believe it i i did lose on the nets in game one on on shut the fuck up don't care we're done look at 0.99

01:29:22.940 this look at this look at my face i don't care in the show i don't care at all he's gonna start 0.98

01:29:28.340 talking about spedding in the show no one cares about twitter tower gang toad clint russell see 0.57

01:29:35.060 him in nashville fucking saturday right yeah and i'll have scott horton on tomorrow i may not drop 0.99

01:29:39.980 that until after the debate because i don't want destiny to watch it and know my tactics no but don't 0.95

01:29:45.640 don't don't give him any insight and uh yeah tower gang toad follow tower gang everywhere sign up for

01:29:53.520 the patreon patreon.com slash we can use this as our outro tonight yeah yeah that's fine yeah let's 0.98

01:29:59.380 do it this is from lovey fucking homos from dicky our producer slash former producer big dicky we'll 1.00

01:30:05.000 call him little dicky and big dicky let's do it love you guys we're out 0.99

01:30:09.180 i feel like i'm just better at cooling than those guys i don't want to fight them kick us out 0.72

01:30:14.040 kick us out 0.99

01:30:16.040 it's not what this show is about this shit is retarded baby if tower gang's up with this 1.00

01:30:34.860 motherfucker it's wednesday it's 9 11 you know what time that is it's toe time lift the 1.00

01:30:41.020 motherfucking weights let's go see numbers right now i don't know how much painkillers is too much 1.00

01:30:48.440 what are you on why are you talking about yeah i love that on painkillers he gets all 0.99

01:30:53.920 awesome actually comes out well i don't even i don't i don't have anything besides fucking tylenol 0.99

01:30:58.960 i don't know like a few yards away from this crosswalk and this fucking suv just like jerked 0.99

01:31:07.380 backwards backed into me and i kind of like moved and my foot got caught in the middle of the street 0.97

01:31:13.520 and i had twisted my hip really weird and then i was just kind of like no no stop i believe you 0.98

01:31:20.480 some fucking boston guy i never fucking doubt it you gotta go to the fucking er right now i'm like 0.99

01:31:26.960 i'm not gonna do that i'm gonna you think i'm gonna wear a fucking mask like what the fuck no 0.99

01:31:31.360 this is the first time i've laughed at toad picture this though i i was actually being the smart 0.99

01:31:36.400 picture this though i i was actually being the smart one because the cars are all i don't see 0.97

01:31:41.400 over here we're not gonna get through this episode if he keeps this shit up because they're 0.87

01:31:46.060 no think about it they're all coming in this direction from my right so i went to the left 0.99

01:31:50.660 so if a car is going to come to hit you it's going to hit all these other people to my right

01:31:54.200 instead this car to my left backs into me like how do you expect that to happen to understand what's

01:32:00.320 going on with you toad what is going on oh did you jump in front of the car he's a skinwalker

01:32:05.960 he got replaced he's lifting weights he's talking like a boston accent he has his shirt off

01:32:11.940 he's jumping in front of cars this is like ai toad women like he just downloaded uh like 0.99

01:32:17.500 chat gpt version of like the bullet points i'm like well this is roughly what he does right 0.99

01:32:21.260 what does this what does this faggot usually do 1.00

01:32:23.440 this time like a great big person 1.00

01:32:27.660 waiting to get

01:32:29.220 wait

01:32:30.220 and then

Tower Gang - April 20, 2023

Ep 119 - The Paraplegic Paradox

Episode Stats

Summary

Transcript