Tower Gang - Ep 120 - Carnies of the Caribbean

00:00:00.000 what's up retards i'm trying to start a cult here baby so i can only fit a third of my dick 1.00

00:00:08.880 into toads mussy you want to kill me or you want to give me a boner i don't know 1.00

00:00:15.120 when i say fuck the jews it means i'm horny 1.00

00:00:18.160 hello is me i'm retarded any of you guys ever had the mythical where they put the whole thing in 1.00

00:00:23.860 and then do that shit where they're the three of you had a threesome of some kind i was watching it 0.99

00:00:30.940 and jerking off 1.00

00:00:31.900 he was a 10 in real life she's like a dead eight 0.99

00:00:39.980 lewis you're like a brother to me donald trump come on tower gang that is the most offensive podcast 1.00

00:00:48.060 fat dave fuck you man 1.00

00:00:50.020 it's not what the show is about this shit is retarded 1.00

00:00:58.160 everybody welcome to another episode of tower gang every time i watch our intro i it cheers me up i 0.99

00:01:08.100 can have a terrible day and i watch that intro i'm like this is fucking awesome are you gonna watch 0.96

00:01:13.440 after lakers lose tonight shut your mouth i i'm no longer gonna commit suicide and then if the 0.99

00:01:19.440 ruins lose i will again so oh please don't do that don't do that no no no don't do that 0.95

00:01:25.860 um welcome to tower gang we are the number one most bigoted podcast that is hosted exclusively by

00:01:32.700 homosexuals thank you for tuning in uh as always we have toad at tower gang toad we've got cole at 0.81

00:01:39.040 fat comic dave and we've got clint russell at liberty lock pod we will be joined later by the 0.97

00:01:45.380 most racist puerto rican you have ever met yes louis j gomez not you no no i thought it was gonna be

00:01:51.640 louis and also and also the shortest man in the universe jose galison jose is actually here you 0.58

00:01:59.260 just can't see him when jose dies do you think that they'll even have to like like bury him or

00:02:04.320 will he just kind of like oh he well it's funny because how much cheaper like to uh is his coffin

00:02:10.880 gonna be because they'll be like listen like we have a 50 off deal we could put him in a kid's coffin

00:02:15.080 well could you could you yo does that actually happen imagine like a midget dies and they're 1.00

00:02:20.400 just like we have like kids yeah you could put in a kid's coffin for sure no jose needs some sort

00:02:25.620 of like animal coffin though because he's like five five but he's 210 or whatever yeah it might be

00:02:30.560 like an amazon box a shipping crate bro imagine you work in the factory that produces like kids

00:02:40.980 coffins and having to tell somebody like no no no i'm in i'm in woodworking that's it like i mean

00:02:47.320 it's like that's dark to dead children wait what

00:02:53.200 you said woodworking oh my god literally toad can take anything and make it into a terrible joke

00:03:02.560 i'm definitely not gonna nod during that so that i get dragged forward a year and a half later

00:03:07.080 it's my superhero uh ability yeah more like super villain jesus that's 0.96

00:03:12.940 my god also clint just debated a literal faggot last week it was amazing like watching a blue-haired 1.00

00:03:20.640 and like just i had i had years of experience after debating you guys 0.93

00:03:25.100 the physio i'm gonna physiognomy i think we discussed this i said it right last week 0.99

00:03:31.940 is alone is insane like just that picture of you like fucking you're like 0.99

00:03:37.960 and then he was just sitting there like i mean like it looks he looks small and weak 0.99

00:03:44.260 don't like that show the picture i'm gonna bring up the physiognomy physiognomy not that the

00:03:52.100 picture of fucking clint and destiny the picture it's on my twitter if you want to pull it up yeah 0.89

00:03:57.320 the picture of them like actually debating i said it was just massively alpha from clint's 0.98

00:04:02.420 perspective i still think what i said was the best was this is like whatever your your mom says

00:04:08.060 once you you're on vacation and your mom's like take a picture with your stepdad if you just 0.99

00:04:12.180 saw his dick in the shower and that's exactly what it looks like like clint is literally like 0.98

00:04:19.340 a stepdad just like i'm only three years older than the guy but everyone's calling me his stepdad 0.99

00:04:25.680 i'm like jesus christ that's just because five years old oh it's just because uh he's that immature

00:04:31.260 but you you also you had like this uh protruding bulge in that one picture 0.98

00:04:36.580 good i just i have a dick and i have arms dude what are you doing honestly if i was about to 0.99

00:04:43.160 debate somebody i would definitely get a pump beforehand like go to the gym right beforehand 0.98

00:04:46.880 get a massive pump dude that was no veins popping like no no i would not be uh like studying i would

00:04:54.620 not be like preparing no huge pump well you're not gonna study you don't know how to read

00:05:00.220 will will dickie is on top of it there yeah thank you dickie uh yeah that's i mean that alone i

00:05:07.000 feel like i won i won the day oh that is oh and the and they had that your shoes that i've seen

00:05:11.760 like yeah no socks only like those are the only shoes you have i'm pretty sure dude no i have lots

00:05:17.300 of other dress shoes but like they're none of them are even close to that night those are 300 0.81

00:05:20.980 and like something dollar dress shoes they're fucking sick glint's right arm is the same width as 0.94

00:05:25.960 destiny's body god that's actually that's actually my small arm because my uh i had nerve damage in 0.93

00:05:35.480 my neck so my right tricep uh doesn't like put on mass like my left one you can't really tell but my

00:05:41.000 left arm's bigger now why'd you choose the uh like the dress shoes nice khaki pants and then a t-shirt

00:05:47.420 what was up with that uh because i have i don't give you come in there looking nice with the collar

00:05:54.460 maybe maybe with something like i never i don't think you own a tie for one i i used to but i

00:06:00.960 since i shut down my business i didn't have a reason to wear ties i mean i haven't really worn

00:06:04.600 ties and like since i was i worked for verizon wireless here i'm gonna give you a secret and

00:06:08.460 you're you're gonna be dealing with this soon because you're getting jack jack moted too once 0.97

00:06:12.740 you get to a certain amount of bulk dress clothes look fucked on you they don't oh that's true 0.99

00:06:18.300 wearing dress clothes because um my chest and my shoulders require me like i'd have to get like a 0.96

00:06:24.220 custom-made dress shirt really because like my my waist is much slimmer than my shoulders and my 0.92

00:06:28.980 chest is so like just clothes just look fucked on me that's why that's true that's why uh john 0.97

00:06:33.880 fetterman wears a hoodie all the time i don't know uh there was a guy i think it's just because he's 0.99

00:06:38.080 retired there's a guy that went to college with though that he was fucking jacked he was i mean he 0.93

00:06:42.620 was a specimen but him in the like button-up short sleeves if you if you can get a nice button oh i 0.98

00:06:49.780 have i have some of those yeah it'll make your arms pop yeah i know i look not i look ridiculous

00:06:55.580 in in the those shirts but like i'm still getting myself back in shape so give me give me a little

00:07:00.920 time i'm on my way uh let's let's go ahead and pull this photo down so we don't keep basing

00:07:05.260 destiny has like an inverted bulge there it's like concave how do you choose to like go in front of

00:07:15.340 people with that hair not necessarily the color but the style like it was like homeboy didn't 0.99

00:07:21.260 shower for it he was like it was like he did not give a shit no he didn't give a shit he wanted to 0.98

00:07:26.820 look as much like zielinski as possible honestly he looked like a kid that had been playing starcraft 0.98

00:07:31.880 2 all night there we go top laps to the most Puerto Rican on the planet all right how you feeling

00:07:36.620 brother you thought you thought that i wouldn't be on here no i thought you would i knew i wasn't i

00:07:42.900 wasn't sure but when it comes to you needing to be racist against uh jamaicans i knew you'd have to 0.99

00:07:47.640 show up god you you really hyped us up for this so it's pretty good i i'm expecting like good shit 0.98

00:07:53.520 because you were like i can do two hours on on jamaica honestly this is why i'm faking my own 0.88

00:07:58.860 sickness right now because i feel like i just can't live up to the expectations yeah the hype that i've

00:08:05.660 created on this and i also feel like i can't match i can't match the energy right now that i need to

00:08:11.420 describe uh the the the nigatry that was at work powerful powerful stuff give us give us a taste 0.84

00:08:24.240 give us one one absurd story about jamaicans one absurd story or just something you like you you were

00:08:31.800 noticing maybe the first thing you notice you get off the the plane or whatever you got there don't

00:08:36.360 don't notice too much but go ahead okay yeah i could i could tell you like all right so first

00:08:42.180 thing you do and you guys ever been to jamaica clinton you look like you've been i've been i've

00:08:48.980 been to lots of people in jamaica probably when did you when did you go how long ago uh the most

00:08:54.700 recent time was like probably four or five years ago okay um so i get i get off of the plane right

00:09:03.180 we walk out and first off it's like it's like soul plane on this plane all right just just to

00:09:07.740 begin with this is the type of a this is the first vacation that me and my wife are having in four

00:09:12.500 years by ourselves so we're like we're gonna go away somewhere nice we're just gonna chill it's gonna

00:09:18.680 be great and uh i let her pick where we're going because i'm i'm too busy with everything else so we

00:09:24.680 get off the plane yeah never let never let the woman choose no this is a this is a huge mistake 0.87

00:09:29.660 um actually maybe not it's i'll tell the story um honestly see i'm i'm gonna get you there i think

00:09:36.220 the women choosing where to go because usually i hate the whole like what do you want to do what 1.00

00:09:40.680 are you and so i feel like if they plan something they usually i mean at least they'll be at least

00:09:45.260 you can't they can't be upset at you for picking something that they're not yeah that's that's kind

00:09:49.400 of point yeah you get to turn it around on them i can i can have fun anywhere i can always make

00:09:54.600 anything fun for me i'm always in a good mood i can just fucking plow through but i made this 0.94

00:09:59.660 the last time i smoked weed was at bob marley's grave site in uh in jamaica bob marley is another

00:10:05.520 reason why i think jamaica's fake but i'm gonna get into it um interesting you have piqued my interest

00:10:10.540 yes so um i mean the whole the whole thing has was bizarre like from from front to back so you get

00:10:17.700 off the plane you have to go through customs and uh like you walk down this yellow hallway and

00:10:23.380 immediately i noticed it's like oh somebody's been just kicking holes into the sheetrock here

00:10:28.700 just holes like in the airport yeah the first thing is this is a government airport i think if

00:10:35.360 they have a government so someone's just kicking holes and the jamaican people that work there have 1.00

00:10:42.460 decided no need to fix them doesn't doesn't matter this is like our main our main source of income is

00:10:48.920 tourism no need to fix that you walk a little further down it's like stepping into section 8

00:10:53.520 housing basically and they're just like don't care just like it's it's gonna there's gonna be holes in

00:10:59.300 the walls and cockroaches behind all the uh maybe maybe even worse than that cole it's yeah it's like 1.00

00:11:06.080 it could be cocks maybe they're glory holes 1.00

00:11:08.240 so toad i don't have this kind of energy for this bullshit all right so you walk a little further 0.99

00:11:19.220 down you notice that there's just bottles and like garbage strewn in the airport did did you notice 0.97

00:11:24.880 this clint when you went i it was a while ago um i just probably i'm just a white dude like i'm in 0.75

00:11:32.560 jamaica fuck yeah i'm in jamaica no no no no pre and post covid must be something there has to be

00:11:37.920 something there that's probably true it was probably nicer before covid because like you gotta keep in 0.99

00:11:42.380 mind they went a year plus with like no tourism so that fucked them they were just like dead so i bet 0.97

00:11:49.160 it's i bet it's a lot worse now honestly yeah and it's an island where uh they don't have any whites 0.98

00:11:53.660 coming over to civilize them that would suck that's true oh i'm not constant colonization 0.99

00:11:59.380 i'm gonna get into that forces of imperialism yes so so you walk past all this shit you go to 1.00

00:12:04.780 immigration it's the dumbest fucking line ever made because it's all jamaican people yeah i know 1.00

00:12:09.540 i i've been through immigration in aruba and a couple other places right it's not retarded like 1.00

00:12:13.880 my daughter could have figured out a better way to organize people but these people just don't 0.99

00:12:17.940 care it's amazing oh yeah i respect it what's this faggot saying yeah whatever 1.00

00:12:22.540 on their cool running space it was five years ago not 25 years ago so nobody like nobody even 0.96

00:12:29.880 cares or is trying i'm trying to figure out if no one cares or if it's just the iq is just super low

00:12:33.980 on this island so like that's what i'm paying attention to this whole time when you get to

00:12:37.580 the airport i mean to the lobby and uh you have a shuttle we have a shuttle to our resort

00:12:42.580 but uh there's a cab driver there so my wife being a white girl she goes to the cab driver and she 1.00

00:12:48.180 goes uh oh is there is the shuttle here and he's like no shuttle man only cabs because he wants your

00:12:53.360 money yeah and she's like oh my god he's lying yeah he's lying he's like so my wife turns to me 1.00

00:12:59.200 she's like oh my god there's no shuttle and i was like there's a shuttle here he's lying to you like

00:13:03.600 this is jamaican man lying to you and she's like well what are we gonna do i said well do you want

00:13:06.980 to take a cab or a shuttle whatever we're like let's take a cab it'll be a little quicker we get in 0.98

00:13:10.820 the cab very nice guy he like dances everybody's like very like master master show tune shit so he dances 0.82

00:13:17.100 over to us because it's jamaica he takes my bags puts them then he goes welcome to jamaica you do 0.79

00:13:22.200 you want some weed and i say yes so he drives us on this uh this road it's like this is the main

00:13:30.140 tourist road and i mean like you look to your left it's like beautiful off the island palm trees the 0.99

00:13:34.080 water you look to your right it looks like afghanistan it's fucking crazy it's all like brick 1.00

00:13:39.720 like these cinder block brick buildings and the tops are like blowing like like someone hit them 0.98

00:13:44.000 with missiles you saw this shit right which uh which city was this montego bay this is like one 0.99

00:13:50.600 of the main tourist parts so yeah it's a shithole it's a complete shithole but it's like there's so 0.99

00:13:56.780 much money coming in here every day and i'm like you guys can't fucking figure out how to finish this 0.99

00:14:02.140 shit like bill so the guy's driving us he stops off at a shack because everything's a fucking shack 0.99

00:14:08.980 you guys been to my house you've seen the goat shack back there the one that i won't put goats in 1.00

00:14:12.720 because it's not good enough for goats this is what they're they're running commerce out of this 0.85

00:14:16.860 shit so i would not like i would definitely buy weed in jamaica but the thing is like i feel like 0.95

00:14:26.320 the god the weed that the cab man is going to get me to is not very good weed but i guess you're 0.91

00:14:32.760 getting there to what the weed was like that's coming out it was it was a risk and it was good but

00:14:37.900 it worked out like yeah sort of i mean it was super sketchy like very sketchy the whole time

00:14:43.820 driving through like i'm from coney island i'm used to like like feeling like i might die i felt

00:14:48.460 like oh shit i might die like the way these people are driving just like the conditions of everything 0.91

00:14:53.960 it was insane it was like it was driving through like mad max so and i'm not saying this is like a 0.99

00:14:59.560 white person i'm saying this is somebody who is familiar with certain death like all the time 0.96

00:15:04.480 like where i live gunshots all kinds of crazy shit i was like i did not feel comfortable just 0.95

00:15:08.900 driving through yep we we make it to our hotel where i'm like finally some kind of safety normalcy

00:15:14.260 we're in an all-inclusive resort the rio right really nice we get in they take our bags i go to 0.83

00:15:20.700 the check-in immediately in front of us is a fat black woman i mean fat clothes don't fit uh she's got 1.00

00:15:28.100 like she's already got her bathing suit on nothing fits she's got colored hair she's got big fake 1.00

00:15:32.220 eyelashes and big fake nails and she's got both they all have colored hair yes yeah they do 0.97

00:15:37.120 no they all were lizzo i say colored hair because i'll explain both hands on the desk and she's 1.00

00:15:44.700 twerking just bam like individual ass cheeks twerking in front of us so i look at my wife looks at me i 1.00

00:15:50.280 look at her and i said what the fuck is going on right now i don't i does like we pay four hundred 1.00

00:15:56.600 dollars a night this was for white people i didn't realize this is tax season pricing out 0.99

00:16:02.280 oh you did go during taxi he would tax returns man yeah shit keep that in mind this is this should 0.97

00:16:09.360 have been a very nice hotel tax season so i went i went from one jungle of like like pure jamaican 0.96

00:16:16.640 jungle craziness just like a taste of it just a little uh and i was like that's enough into

00:16:22.240 like right into brownsville like brownsville new york brownsville new york the most ghetto if you've 1.00

00:16:30.720 ever been to a black party toad you know what i'm talking about the most ghetto trash shit we we get 1.00

00:16:35.240 our we get our room keys they're like yeah man just go check out the rooms and all so we we walk to 0.99

00:16:40.040 the rooms but you got to walk by all the pools and we got to walk by everything and as we're walking 0.97

00:16:45.320 by i'm just looking around i said i just grabbed my eyes where the fuck did you bring me where did you 0.99

00:16:50.940 where did you bring me right now i'm trying to relax i thought you're just where the fuck are 1.00

00:16:55.840 all the white people yo the pool look like a like a gas station bathroom just a whole bunch of turds 1.00

00:17:01.360 and a bunch of water just just brown and water oh my god it's just it's just a bunch of like it's 0.99

00:17:09.460 just a bunch of ghetto black people here they all have their own like music player even though there's 1.00

00:17:13.420 a dj playing and they're playing their own shit music and i'm like oh dude it was it was like being 0.99

00:17:18.400 on a fucking subway for four days so it was crazy um it was like my commute every single day 0.99

00:17:27.760 or was the was the was the deep end of the pool you just go in there like no way around 1.00

00:17:32.820 there's no deep end they only keep that keep that shit at four feet because they know like 0.87

00:17:37.480 i guess they knew this was like an all-black resort nobody told me no one said it was it was 0.99

00:17:42.220 referred to as by a friend who i'm no longer friends with but nobody said this is an all-black resort

00:17:46.360 hey danny go there check this out hey top whatever everybody gets doxxed by themselves

00:17:53.800 so uh yeah so we go there and it's just like i mean you don't see one shred of clothing that fits

00:18:01.840 one black woman and it's the craziest thing like they're wearing i can't even it's it's like i'm 1.00

00:18:07.660 having ptsd just thinking about it this shit i've seen so much ass and so much black titties 1.00

00:18:12.900 in those four days then i'm like i'm scarred for life and i know you guys would be jerking 1.00

00:18:17.760 over this stuff but that sounds disgusting it was like it was like like i was trying i was 0.56

00:18:24.940 explaining to my wife i'm like like we're looking at a lot of sexualized stuff here but for me it's 0.62

00:18:30.080 like looking at like uh like like like dogs have sex like it's not the same thing it's like it's no

00:18:36.480 it's like the documentaries of when they like go to africa and it's just all the women topless 1.00

00:18:40.680 but it's just like isn't second yeah my penis my penis is not reacting at all it's not really no 0.96

00:18:48.160 it shouldn't it shouldn't be i i went on a royal caribbean cruise with my dad four or five months 0.97

00:18:53.940 ago it was just a three-day little weekend you know and and i'm telling you dude out of miami 0.95

00:18:59.960 like it's one of those my dad's super cheap so he picks like the cheapest motherfucking cruise you 0.78

00:19:04.420 could possibly get i can't believe you didn't go on carnival yeah yeah i mean it was basically that 0.87

00:19:09.960 and but i'm telling you it was like my i don't know i was single because i just broken up with

00:19:14.600 ash and then and he's like he's like there's lots of single women on here clint and you know

00:19:18.800 like why aren't you talking to any of them i was like you looked at any of them

00:19:21.800 i'm telling you it's like this is why i know exactly what top experience because it is 0.99

00:19:27.740 so unappealing they're just fucking disgusting 0.99

00:19:31.860 you know you know it's you know like the the it's bad like the pool of women is bad when you 1.00

00:19:39.560 watch porn on uh like the wi-fi of the of the the fucking cruise like the wife of somebody here 0.99

00:19:45.120 like i just gotta run one out because i can hook up with any of these women this is how this is how 1.00

00:19:51.120 ghetto this this is how ghetto this boat was the wi-fi wasn't even good enough for me to get video 0.97

00:19:55.240 so i was just fucked i was just like i got three days looking at a bunch of women that 1.00

00:19:59.260 that are interested in me i am not interested in them dude we like there was i went to the uh the 0.98

00:20:05.320 nightclub the last night i was on the ship and it was like i mean there's like three white people 0.90

00:20:10.340 on this motherfucker like i'm not even exaggerating like there's like three other white people and the 0.99

00:20:14.940 and the dance floor is just like it's like a sex party but everyone still got their clothes on 1.00

00:20:19.860 it was so fucking foul exactly this yes but this but all day crazy this is why i would only like 0.92

00:20:26.440 if i'm going on a cruise i'm going like norwegian because i know that's i've done norwegian you know 0.76

00:20:32.420 here's here's the problem oh yeah i did a 17 day cruise on norwegian through the panama canal

00:20:36.680 and there was just nothing but like 85 year olds because no one else can take that much time off work

00:20:40.540 this is the problem of having money when you're young yeah that's great you get to teach like

00:20:44.780 i mean it was chill it was relaxed but like going on a cruise and you are the best looking person 1.00

00:20:50.340 there you know like because like no i don't want that why not i want because i want fucking women 1.00

00:20:56.320 dude i mean i'm sorry i'm married like i as if i was yeah like okay by the way i region or like 0.99

00:21:02.320 uh one of those alaskan cruises that goes a bit like all that is like super chill it's no like

00:21:08.060 it's all old it's boring it's boring yeah i also like how you have just uh equated uh black people 0.53

00:21:14.000 with ugliness by the way that's what's going on no it's true there are i used to watch i used to

00:21:19.480 watch that uh that wedding show with my wife like when we were getting married you know the one where 0.99

00:21:22.900 say yes to the dress yeah yeah yeah i know that cole probably had to watch that bullshit and yeah i 0.99

00:21:30.000 don't get forced to watch that shit this is going to be used against me in the court a little bit every 0.99

00:21:35.200 time i seen that and you see a black lady wearing a dress i'm like just i don't know like it's white 1.00

00:21:40.280 it's just like it doesn't look natural maybe because they don't get married that much or

00:21:43.840 i don't know it just doesn't look right am i am i they look more uh at home in a black dress like

00:21:50.400 at a funeral elizabeth is saying she doesn't go because it sounds boring i don't think you

00:21:54.020 understand i'm going on a cruise not for like super fun i'm going to relax and chill like i'm and

00:21:59.800 she's and she's the one that's also she's not drinking anymore she doesn't want to drink i'm the

00:22:03.920 one that actually drinks because she's breastfeeding pull up elizabeth's comment again look look at her 1.00

00:22:08.460 face that's that's the face of a girl who dates a black man you know she wants to be on a cruise 0.96

00:22:12.460 for real you would have lost her you would have lost her in jamaica don't bring her to jamaica 0.99

00:22:18.020 jamaica any car i'm not taking on our carnival cruise i will she would literally be gone like 1.00

00:22:25.920 oh they would they would steal her ass from you straight up 1.00

00:22:29.600 yeah you can't swim and you don't go in pools explain why there's such a high concentration at 1.00

00:22:34.220 these well that's the craziest thing they're all dressed what i started to notice like after

00:22:38.680 so like my emotions were like fear extreme fear and then i'm like angry a little bit at my wife but

00:22:44.520 i'm i don't want to ruin the vacation and then it just i said you know what i'm letting it go like 0.99

00:22:50.040 we're just we're in this shit it's just all clown shit everything is clown shit you look around and i 0.99

00:22:55.360 started like really like putting it together i'm like oh these people are just clowns like they come 1.00

00:23:00.140 here these guys are dressed like with like 500 sneakers that i've never seen before with the

00:23:04.660 brightest color sitting by a pool with like you know the girls are dressed with like you know old 0.91

00:23:09.820 name brand designer all this shit none of it fits it doesn't matter they're not none of it all you 0.92

00:23:15.660 see it was all they had they don't carry triple x large in a gucci 0.95

00:23:21.620 it's all like it's all stretch marks and like if it's not stretch marks it's just like

00:23:28.360 unattractiveness overall like if we weren't outside i'd be like it would smell crazy in here 0.99

00:23:32.600 but then their hair they spent hundreds of dollars on like their hair like putting all the shit in 0.99

00:23:37.620 but it's all it's uh wigs too it's all wigs it's all fakes so you can't even go in the pool which is 0.99

00:23:42.820 bizarre like they have big it's like you have all these clown accessories to prevent you from enjoying

00:23:48.360 the water that you paid for to come here like because basically the whole thing is just a 0.96

00:23:52.140 fucking pool well and like you said they had to make the pool just four feet deep the whole way 0.93

00:23:56.920 though because otherwise it'd be really dangerous for all of them well do they it was it was it by 0.99

00:24:01.620 like the ocean it was near the beach boy yeah it was by of course it's by the ocean or are they 0.97

00:24:08.400 just chilling by the pool the entire time was like the beach too scary oh you know black black people 1.00

00:24:13.380 were actually were not by the beach so let me tell you the second part of the story so we decided to

00:24:17.820 walk the beach it was really nice jose so they're doing like uh there's there's like these ryu fun

00:24:24.500 guys which is very bizarre have you ever been to these all-inclusive resorts like this yeah that's

00:24:28.260 why i say that they hire they hire uh staff to like start games and do shit like this but they're just not 0.85

00:24:35.280 like regular people like they're professional dancers they're like djs they're musicians they do 0.98

00:24:41.240 everything these motherfuckers are cooking in the back but we meet them and they're playing a 0.99

00:24:45.660 volleyball game so we play my wife is like she's diving around and since it's jamaica and it's 1.00

00:24:49.680 clown world the sand is concrete so her legs are all scraped up it's hilarious it's the first day 0.82

00:24:54.940 she's like bleeding so yeah it's crazy shit whatever we go to the uh they overpriced everything they 1.00

00:25:01.460 want to sell us individual band-aids i'm like get the fuck out of here so i'm just gonna 0.99

00:25:06.680 individual band-aids it's wild shit they wanted to sell like two for a dollar 0.97

00:25:11.140 they're loose band-aids you know the uh the resort i stayed at was was like the nicest on the island 0.99

00:25:18.980 and i shit you not i had lunch sitting right next to malcolm in the middle the actor frankie yeah 0.99

00:25:25.320 yes yeah with his like smoke show fucking actress girlfriend or wife or whatever the fuck and then 0.99

00:25:30.400 there was one driver now there yeah kind of there was no no no exaggeration there was basic there 0.99

00:25:45.140 was like maybe five white people out of a thousand people there but the one of the five like like in

00:25:50.160 fact the entire black community of my resort was anthony anderson's family it was him and his family 0.94

00:25:56.900 i shit you not he was there was it his real family or was it just all the actors from blackish 0.93

00:26:01.860 i'm telling you if you if you're like an actor in some sort of very white show jamaica is probably 0.99

00:26:11.220 your best bet to go on a vacation because no one will realize who you are yeah because they don't 0.99

00:26:16.640 watch the shows don't see the fuck he fucked up though because he went to an all-inclusive resort 0.99

00:26:20.560 with a bunch of white people who all watch blackish so he was like i'm talking about frankie muniz i'm 0.99

00:26:25.460 talking about frankie no yeah frankie yeah no one has a fucking clue who yeah well the thing is on a 0.97

00:26:30.660 white show nobody's watching that they're like he the thing is it's not that jamaicans don't watch 0.96

00:26:35.620 like they they're not going to watch that specific type of tv it's just that they don't have electricity 0.92

00:26:39.360 no they don't watch the tourists the tourists there you said are all black oh yes so they're not 1.00

00:26:44.100 watching so i'm saying if you are a white actor in a very white show like malcolm and allan 0.98

00:26:49.100 tim allen goes to fucking jamaica for vacation because no one knows who tim allen is they're not 0.97

00:26:55.980 like none of the people you're you're there's a fatal flaw in your your logic here everyone at the 0.99

00:27:00.940 resort that i was at was white so they're all fucking huge home improvement fans if you wanted 0.97

00:27:05.000 to actually that's the great thing that means you get catered by the establishment while also 0.99

00:27:10.920 flying under the radar for all the tour all the shitty people let me ask you you don't want to 0.65

00:27:15.600 notice by the regular people you want to get noticed by the uh the establishment you're at 0.71

00:27:21.400 did you tip did you tip all the time no okay see this is so this is a very weird

00:27:27.260 rule of engagement people over no because you're paying mad money for all inclusive right right but 0.96

00:27:32.940 it always felt like like so the first two days it feels like the people that are doing shit for you 0.57

00:27:38.200 like they're doing shit that you could do yourself but i'm like i feel like they want to tip and i 0.77

00:27:42.180 have like hundreds on me so i was like i don't know it's just weird so i mean i i tip i got a

00:27:47.160 massage i tip them i when i like a bartender i'd give a dollar per drink so yeah yeah yeah so i was

00:27:54.080 so i'm not i'm not tipping you like just for checking me in and shit like no so i heard so 0.86

00:27:58.460 they're june making if you want to if you want a great okay if you want like a great like bar

00:28:03.800 experience that first drink you tip you get tip a 20 and then for the rest of the night you want

00:28:09.780 tip like a dollar but that bartender will forever be like giving him first yeah long pour the drinks 0.60

00:28:16.280 this is an all-inclusive resort dude like they you're there's no fucking long wait you know it 0.88

00:28:20.820 was fine but i got one quick story and it's not really funny but it's just like it just kind of 0.96

00:28:25.080 emphasizes how fucked up jamaica is for to make top's case i when i went to bob marley's uh childhood 0.98

00:28:31.600 home and i think it was his grave too but maybe it was just his childhood home anyway i was i was 0.99

00:28:36.700 buried in the basement but his his childhood home is like this little fucking you know every every 0.99

00:28:42.520 house there's sucks so his house is nicer but it still sucks and yes exactly you know we we drive up 0.99

00:28:48.880 this mountain and and it's like it's very very steep this mountain is like no fucking joke steep yeah and 0.99

00:28:56.380 and they they're so backwards and poor that they don't ever repair their roads this is the same 0.88

00:29:04.320 mountain let me tell the story okay okay so so all right so i had to tell the story my wife's knees 0.99

00:29:11.440 her legs are all fucked up and i mean like fucked up because this shit is like concrete so she's like 1.00

00:29:16.540 weeping sores there's no near we went to the to the gift shop to get that's what women are weeping 1.00

00:29:21.520 sores open weeping sores whatever all the way up to her waist we go to the gift shop we try to buy 0.99

00:29:28.840 band-aids they want to charge us 80 i said i told her i said listen bitch if i had to pay for this for 1.00

00:29:33.260 my wife to have band-aids i'd be spending a hundred dollars here it's crazy but then the lady goes well 1.00

00:29:38.240 maybe you want to go to the uh you want to go to the pharmacy across the road and she says it with 0.89

00:29:43.220 a smirk like you'll never make it and i was like yeah because she's right we'll never fucking make 0.84

00:29:48.520 you can't even cross the street like you can't leave the resort i'm telling you it's like it's

00:29:52.760 wild so naturally that night my wife goes and she says let's book an excursion let's go out and see

00:30:00.020 stuff and then again i say okay because i'm just in the mood to say instead instead of saying the

00:30:06.160 thing like the natural thing like hey a certain death awaits us outside i say no let's go you say so

00:30:13.560 we're on vacation let's die i want an adventure like that's what i've not had in my life adventure

00:30:19.420 we book we book two two things the same day it's a bamboo raft you sit on the bamboo raft they bring

00:30:26.280 you around and then uh a catamaran cruise and it says i we buy it spent like five hundred dollars

00:30:32.880 they send us an email they said be ready at 3 p.m right next day 11 30 in the morning i get a text

00:30:38.940 message that says where are you and i say who is this and they go this this is for the this is for

00:30:45.980 the excursion where are you and i said you said at three i would never say at three mon check your

00:30:51.040 emails so i send him a screenshot that says three and the guy just texts back be there in five minutes

00:30:56.740 so i'm like okay so we run to the lobby right wait a second they were early not late 0.97

00:31:04.740 they were just no that doesn't so black people the black people that stay at this hotel are late 1.00

00:31:10.420 the jamaican people are backwards and also late and just everything's fucking retarded so 1.00

00:31:16.120 we get in the car and and there's like three black people from brooklyn go figure and they drive up 0.99

00:31:22.680 they drive us up this fucking mountain it's a mountain in a place called leti okay and the same 0.98

00:31:28.100 thing real thin road where like if you fall off certain death like i'm looking at it 0.99

00:31:33.600 yeah it's like so steep and there's like bamboo spikes and fucking treat i'm like you're you're 0.98

00:31:39.480 dead and people are just driving around there's like a real tall skinny truck just fucking on two 0.98

00:31:43.540 wheels driving around there it's it's crazy yeah we drive like we drive past the broken buildings 0.89

00:31:51.040 again we drove past the biggest kfc i've seen in my life it was just up there on the bottom 0.79

00:31:57.000 this is the only like the only uh civilized establishment in jamaica it's kfc mecca

00:32:02.320 that's just that's just how much uh black people love fried chicken for real it had two stories it 0.87

00:32:10.020 was like nice whatever we drove by that we're going up the mountain and again we get to a point where 0.99

00:32:14.600 there's like they they were building the road and then they just said fuck it i guess and now it's 0.99

00:32:19.860 like just craters so we're driving around the crater is the same shit that happened to you 0.98

00:32:24.500 100 dude but mine gets even sketchier but i'll let you finish no my i believe me go ahead and

00:32:29.260 finish yours because i guarantee you mine is way more sketchy all right if it's more sketchy we'll

00:32:32.800 see all right so i am on a uh because i'm doing an excursion too it's me and my brother i think my 0.90

00:32:37.880 mom came i can't remember um but we're on this fucking we're in a van you know big ass van and it's got 0.99

00:32:43.280 two rows on each side probably 40 people inside maybe more and we're going up this fucking mountain to go 0.97

00:32:50.060 out to bob marley's house why i'm doing this i don't know i don't know same exact thing yeah i 0.95

00:32:55.980 don't even fucking listen to bob marley i don't care at all but my little brother is like big 0.96

00:32:59.880 bob marley fan he's he kind of stoned her back in the day so he's like we gotta we gotta go get 0.99

00:33:04.620 high at bob marley's fucking gravesite like that's incredible fuck it all right let's do it i'm in 0.99

00:33:08.760 fucking jamaica let's go risk my life for no apparent reason and i thought it was just gonna i 1.00

00:33:12.580 thought i was gonna be risking my life because there's all these fucking gangster jamaicans around and 1.00

00:33:16.240 they'd probably kill me little did i know no it was the transport that had the highest probability 1.00

00:33:20.480 of ending my life so we're going up these fucking mountains and as you go up so as you get higher 0.99

00:33:25.020 the road gets narrower so you're like like it's more dangerous up top so let's make it fucking 0.98

00:33:31.160 super duper narrow and there's no railing whatsoever that's none yeah exactly i'm like somebody at some

00:33:39.380 point like someone on this island must have been like hey let's put up a little bit of something 0.96

00:33:42.940 but they're like no fuck it because they're too busy twerking and smoking and doing whatever else 0.95

00:33:47.880 jamaican people do here's why my thought to this as an engineer i'm thinking wow we're just spending 0.99

00:33:53.020 a lot of money on extra shit that we don't need they're making it way easy out there small roads 0.99

00:33:57.720 no railing we're over here these fucking paved roads all nice with the shoulder and railings 0.99

00:34:02.480 if you drive overpriced so if you you drive on the road and and i was noticing the signs and you're 0.99

00:34:09.200 driving by and like since jamaican people are so dumb or simple i mean again i can't go back to 1.00

00:34:14.200 jamaica after this shit but since they're so fucking retarded they have to like give them like they'll 1.00

00:34:19.520 be like uh uh buckle your seat belt or you'll be uh something like any anything any safety measure 0.99

00:34:26.460 that they had it has to rhyme for them to remember it and i'm noticing i'm like it's like a song

00:34:32.380 buckle your belt there will be no help man yes exactly and there is no help for real no there's no

00:34:39.020 help there's no there's no fire department like if you if you go off the side of the road you're

00:34:43.160 just dead that's it all right so let me let me let me finish real quick so we're we're we're going

00:34:48.040 up the road's getting narrower like and i and we're in a big wide bus and we're and i and we have 0.69

00:34:54.420 these fucking little like shanty trucks that are in front of us and you could see them and they're 0.99

00:34:58.580 like they're like tottering you're like oh that motherfucker could die at any god damn 0.99

00:35:03.120 fall off the side you will have died yes exactly come on and then and then we're going up and and 0.99

00:35:10.380 as we get like there's like curt like like very sharp curves and we're in a fucking bus on a road 0.98

00:35:17.660 that's about is as thick as a pencil it's so fucking tiny and and i i shit you not i'm i'm sitting on 0.99

00:35:23.960 the right side because i want to see how close we are to death because i'm fucking freaking out 0.99

00:35:28.640 this close and i'm looking over the edge and i shit you not i can see pebbles or like rocks from 0.97

00:35:33.980 the edge of the road that are our wheels are hitting and they are now going off of the cliff 0.94

00:35:39.240 to certain like explosive death like that's what's happening over and over again and then it starts 0.93

00:35:44.140 pouring fucking rain and i'm talking torrential downpour this is a caribbean island so like the 0.98

00:35:49.020 rain is next level insane and he's just like the driver's just fucking high out of his mind he 0.99

00:35:54.680 doesn't give a fuck about any of this he's just like i've got 50 people's lives in my hand 0.99

00:35:58.160 and i don't care let's see how fast yeah he probably did let's see how fast we can get back 0.99

00:36:03.640 to the fucking resort so he's not even slowing down it's pouring rain the road's this fucking thin 0.96

00:36:08.700 and he's just pouring it pouring it around corners and i'm like they don't care and i'm looking around 0.99

00:36:13.520 and everyone else on the fucking bus is so high that they don't even care either and i'm the only 0.99

00:36:17.480 one that's freaking out but i'm like we were fractions away from dying sorry yeah i don't i just 0.97

00:36:22.160 don't care about my life so i was just like no i didn't know you didn't this is why i panicked for no

00:36:27.860 reason yeah exactly that's what i tell my wife anytime something happens low key this was this

00:36:32.640 is why it was like the best vacation ever because it's like you really can't get that much fun without

00:36:37.900 getting close to death like i'm so dead inside you re i really needed this to shake me up a little bit

00:36:44.700 oh okay yeah i'll explain this this picture in a second hold on pull that back down little dicky so 0.99

00:36:49.480 we're going up this fucking mountain again well yeah yes very bizarre um so we're going up and i'm 0.93

00:36:56.580 asking the driver why they drive on the right side which is this is hilarious so i'm starting to put 0.98

00:36:59.800 together why jamaica's fucked and he says oh well uh we were a british colony and then in 1963 we won 1.00

00:37:07.020 our our freedom from from the europeans and i was like oh cool and immediately i think no the fuck you 0.99

00:37:14.100 didn't because i'm looking around here there's no you think you you think you beat like you think 0.98

00:37:18.920 great britain no one you think you won you you're here you're still using their money you're driving

00:37:25.440 on the same side of the road as i'm you're probably paying the queen okay they just bitched you they 1.00

00:37:29.960 complete and you think you won which is a great part but really maybe what happened was is like 0.93

00:37:34.220 this place looks like they dropped off a bunch of black people and they said let's see how long

00:37:39.020 it'll take for them to make electricity australia for black people to make an experiment and then 1.00

00:37:46.700 they check back every 10 years and they're like they still haven't figured out electricity so they 0.87

00:37:50.540 put hotels there and shit like that but they still can't figure out like running water even though

00:37:55.700 the technology is on the island it's a tremendous oh it's it's like uh it's almost like they created 0.80

00:38:00.160 a simulation it's like sim city almost yeah it's the most racist episode we've ever done i'm i know

00:38:06.780 it's not even close it is like that what is that european simulator with a black guy just running 0.87

00:38:11.040 through the jungle that's pretty much you've never seen that it's like a mod of like grand theft auto

00:38:18.840 but it's a naked black guy and he's like a huge naked black guy and he's just running naked through 0.96

00:38:23.700 the jungle doing crimes and shit i just imagine a mod where he like starts doing spiderman swinging 0.98

00:38:28.280 but it's vines like in new york oh my god we're we're i feel like i've had to have told you guys 0.89

00:38:38.480 before but uh there is a out there somewhere there's a legit this is but this is like gold

00:38:44.160 golden eye type graphics there are legit like over the top racist video games that exist out there

00:38:50.200 like someone made it and the way i found this is because uh you know probably damn near a decade ago

00:38:55.740 one of the people training me in like some military class you know teaching me some specific

00:39:00.160 mechanicals bullshit but he remember we got a side thing where he was talking about how he legit was 0.63

00:39:04.220 like used to live next to a guy who's like a legit kkk guy and this dude's like a white dude 0.99

00:39:08.720 the but he's like half hispanic and but he looks white as fuck his last name's martinez and so it's 1.00

00:39:14.540 like everyone looks at him and just like he sees the name and you're like what you're white as fuck 0.98

00:39:18.540 and but like so that kind of like is what kicked off his conversation with this guy he's a funny dude 0.99

00:39:23.140 like he doesn't give a shit about this kind of stuff so like either dude was like telling him 0.90

00:39:27.240 all about his race shit if anything he was like yeah tell me more and he like he got like to be 0.98

00:39:32.440 like close but i guess not close buddies like but like would hang out with him just because he was 0.98

00:39:36.420 out of curiosity like what's this dude doing like he was like showing him like crazy video games where

00:39:41.000 it was like golden eye graphics you'd go around like shoot like jews and black people and the jews 0.99

00:39:44.900 would that would do like drop shekels and shit when they died or like stuff like that and like the 1.00

00:39:49.760 black people would be like like shit like like it was like the most over the top racist shit you 1.00

00:39:54.160 could think of and you're just going around just pew pew pew pew so you get to the top of the 1.00

00:40:00.020 mountain okay yeah so we get to the place that we're supposed to be going to and this is like the

00:40:05.980 tourist attraction like this guy's got like tens of thousands of followers on instagram five star

00:40:10.760 reviews and they're like all right this is it man get out so i get out the car and i look and

00:40:15.980 immediately there's more garbage like and it's not like garbage it's not garbage day like it's

00:40:20.840 just garbage on the side like loose garbage there's a european simulator 0.99

00:40:23.960 why is it called europe simulator with a black man in the jungle i think because it was during that 0.99

00:40:34.700 time when there was a ton of the uh immigration the illegal immigrate they're probably yeah 0.92

00:40:39.900 exactly so immediately i noticed just like unbagged garbage and i think again to myself like right 0.92

00:40:47.980 away i go wouldn't they pick this up like they know white people are coming here for a tourist 1.00

00:40:52.200 attraction like this is but then i say oh no no it's all clown shit this is all clown shit the whole 1.00

00:40:56.460 country is just clown shit the garbage so i'm like okay it's like you're you're there like what are you 1.00

00:41:01.440 gonna do you're gonna leave you're paying 400 a night like it gets better the garbage off the 1.00

00:41:07.940 mountain though they could do they can put it in a bag at least i mean so here's the crazy part

00:41:13.100 you can't do anything you you misunderstand their capacity totally so i get down and it's not like

00:41:18.260 everyone's busy i go down and they're like oh go go down these like really like shady steps to this

00:41:24.080 landing and i look down there's like 17 jamaican guys there like just all like look like the european 0.99

00:41:29.840 simulator dudes and they're just sitting around they're smoking they're drinking and i'm like

00:41:34.060 uh you know i'm like what's going on and they go yeah yeah the the bamboo the bamboo tour we're not

00:41:41.220 gonna do that and i was like why not and they go what's out too fast man oh that's another thing

00:41:47.340 they have they have a water company and it's called wata w-a-t-a it's just like it's all 0.98

00:41:51.240 conscious it's just how they pronounce it it's what it's just it's wata and i'm like this is fucking 0.99

00:41:57.000 i saw at at some point like right around this point i stopped i stopped like this is the shit 0.97

00:42:02.720 yeah yeah yeah the bottles just all this brown liquid my wife is like she's she's looking at me 0.99

00:42:11.020 constantly like what's it like every time something weird happens she looks at me 0.99

00:42:13.720 and like i just started saying i like she'll say what's that and i just say clown shit it's all clown 0.99

00:42:18.060 shit like i like about day day two or three you just snap and in the gc it was highly obvious that 0.99

00:42:24.900 you had lost your mind can you bring up uh copernicus uh he said what are the black or 1.00

00:42:30.320 copernicus sorry copernicus what's up copper nickus what did the blacks drop when they died 0.99

00:42:39.420 all of the goods they stole from you

00:42:41.880 so i left so anyway i leave i i i tell they tell me that that like whatever you paid for

00:42:57.020 about half of this is like 250 you're not you're not doing it and they just tell you like straight 0.52

00:43:02.240 up they're like we're not doing it mon so i was like so what the fuck are we doing then because 0.96

00:43:06.660 everyone's just standing around and they're like then then at some point they're like oh shit like 0.98

00:43:10.820 this guy's not like regular white people he's gonna like ask me questions so now he's a new 0.99

00:43:14.820 yorker you fucked up yeah yeah so i'm like so he starts dancing yeah no so i just said yeah i'm 0.99

00:43:24.240 like so what the fuck would we i said what the fuck are we gonna do then because you have my money 0.99

00:43:27.200 now and we're not doing what you told me and the guy starts going oh okay and he's doing now his 0.99

00:43:31.760 like massive shit show me his teeth and he's like he says go go why don't you why don't you go on 0.91

00:43:36.720 the boat we go on the on the raft and i look in the water and the water is very fast and i was like 0.99

00:43:41.220 oh and all the rafts are crashed up onto each other now because the water is too fast the crazy shit is

00:43:45.700 they knew it was too fast when they sold me the tickets but they still sold them anyway because 1.00

00:43:49.020 it's it's clown shit and everybody's scheming everyone's fucking scheming it's crazy 0.99

00:43:53.200 when i was at when i was at marley's uh funeral like exactly what you're describing top there's 1.00

00:44:00.440 all the tourists and then there's just 20 ne'er-do-wells like there's just 20 dudes that 0.97

00:44:06.780 look like they're fucking waiting to little knuckleheads sell drugs 0.99

00:44:10.060 beat you up fuck your wife something like they're just not there for anything positive but they're but 1.00

00:44:16.320 they're smiley as fuck and you're like i have no idea what vibe i'm dealing with like you look 1.00

00:44:20.660 dangerous but you're super fucking happy and wait that's about it every j every jamaican person i 0.99

00:44:27.420 met was so fucking cool like real nice like even the ones in these sketchy places that's what i'm 0.92

00:44:32.620 saying i can't everything they're doing i don't know what's happening yeah everything they're doing 0.98

00:44:36.320 is like i'm like you're moving weird for me man you're like i don't like this shit you're moving a 0.98

00:44:39.440 little too quick yeah so why are you shucking and jiving but you look like you have a knife like i 0.96

00:44:43.140 don't know are they smiling just because the hue of their teeth is way different than the hue of

00:44:48.600 there's no they're genuinely happy but like they're happy there's just this vibe that like

00:44:52.560 they want to steal my wallet and i don't mean that like when i see a normal black person and 0.94

00:44:56.580 sorry i'm not but they don't want to steal your wallet by gunpoint they don't have guns so they 0.97

00:45:00.960 just like trick you into they're like yeah they're they're like carnies of the black world no no the 1.00

00:45:06.080 carnies they're like carnies of yes the caribbean carnies that's the episode that's the name of the 0.99

00:45:11.940 episode you got it that's what it is so i'm i'm still figuring out what the fuck jamaica is what's 0.81

00:45:17.740 going on right so he tells me uh he says go sit on the bamboo raft man and i say i don't really want

00:45:22.500 to do that and as we covered a couple episodes ago if you ask me anything three times then i'm

00:45:26.740 gonna say yes he asked me two more times and the third time he goes come on sit on the bamboo raft

00:45:31.480 take some pictures it's nice man so i'm like okay you asked me three times so i go and then i sit on 0.90

00:45:37.180 the raft and i think i have i have a picture that dick you could pull up so i'm sitting on the raft 0.97

00:45:40.680 but as i as i'm walking to the raft i notice there's a fat like real fat black woman probably 1.00

00:45:46.500 from the resort i'm at this is the underboob check right no this is another one they're all over the 0.93

00:45:51.700 underboob check jesus christ there i am on the raft so right behind this guy look at this dude in the

00:45:57.640 back just this dude jump off dude he's in shape ripped yeah look go can you zoom out real quick

00:46:02.560 because there's a bridge there's a bridge here you see that bridge looks just like the raft

00:46:09.320 yeah it looks exactly like the raft it's all the same materials all right what about it oh i think top

00:46:17.440 went down oh 0.99

00:46:18.560 son of a bitch bastard all right hey let's do mailbag let's do mailbag real quick yeah yeah let's get 1.00

00:46:27.160 some mailbags in top will be back no oh that was a fun jamaica story all right 1.00

00:46:35.140 well yeah he'll be back it's a lot a lot of material here and we we're gonna have to carry

00:46:40.680 over some of the stuff that we want to talk about it's the next episode probably because

00:46:43.900 there's too much gold the biggest question i have after having been to jamaica twice both times

00:46:49.220 because my mom wanted to go why does lewis go every year it's like to feel better about himself i see this

00:46:55.960 this was my thought process as well it was like it's the only place that lewis can go

00:46:59.680 where the average iq is lower than his own now here's the thing is there i'm trying not to get

00:47:05.160 signed who's lower than the puerto ricas for real though is there a difference between private

00:47:12.800 resorts not necessarily all-inclusive resorts but like private like i'm going to get a hut on the beach

00:47:19.800 just me and i feel like that's where he goes i don't know if that's there a difference to that

00:47:24.280 because at that point he's just like he's an all-inclusive resort dude he just oh okay then 0.90

00:47:28.440 never mind he just gets like a fucking super dope like penthouse at the resort oh okay that's what 0.96

00:47:33.300 it is we can't hear you now top yeah what's going on man you're you're yeah we can't it's all good 0.99

00:47:39.120 top just you can figure it out we're gonna answer a couple mail bags just a mail bag and then we'll

00:47:43.140 finish your uh foot rub thing dicky we're ready all right so ted asks when and i'm reading this

00:47:52.500 exactly when the best opportunity to get drunk with the gang when you're already drunk with us

00:48:00.760 brother yeah i don't drink right now drunk in my presence yeah i feel drunk hearing that question 0.98

00:48:05.420 every wednesday night at 9 15 or 9 11 whatever i mean you had an opportunity when we did fucking 0.96

00:48:10.080 top lobster ranch but we're gonna do something again in the future yeah look if you want to hang

00:48:13.740 out with us yeah we'll do some tower fest eventually we got the dave show uh what yeah

00:48:19.700 the 19th or something yeah that weekend i don't know exactly what day we're on 19th or uh yeah

00:48:25.160 in june i'm gonna be at pork fest and i assume reed is also gonna be there so you can hang out with

00:48:31.240 the two of us but anyways we'll be in like a couple weeks what is it uh yeah like a couple weeks

00:48:37.400 the saturday night the saturday night comedy show for dave smith in tampa look it up

00:48:41.560 anytime we are usually together at some sort of event it is like i this isn't like tooting my own

00:48:49.320 our own horn but it is like the life of the party where we're at i mean am i wrong am i make this the

00:48:55.500 uh tower gang show and as opposed to whatever you're trying to do you go to yeah yeah you're good

00:49:00.080 you're good we go to any libertarian event and it's a tower gang event that's how it works it really

00:49:04.140 yeah it's it's kind of it's it's like surreal because like we it's wherever we're at a lot 0.96

00:49:10.060 of people like the cool people let's not like pretend like it's gonna it's not fucking like 0.90

00:49:14.060 weirdos that are joining we're libertarians that are joining us sometimes we're friends 0.98

00:49:18.480 all the big titty bitches they've just come running what was it a week or two ago that we all met up 1.00

00:49:23.420 or me clint top which we us three will be at that thing in a couple weeks but me clint top and then 0.98

00:49:29.820 i think uh what josie showed up as well uh we also hung out with foe and jack and

00:49:35.980 pop just mad dog let me tell it all right yeah so i walk i walk in i walk in immediately and clint 0.94

00:49:45.500 clint's such a dick he doesn't tell me that like they're gonna be there so i'm like not even 0.97

00:49:48.700 mentally prepared i didn't think you'd have i didn't think you have such impulse control that i 0.99

00:49:52.200 had to warn you that another person was gonna be there oh no i'm not but i didn't though right

00:49:55.840 i acted nice i just so i walk in i didn't act nice at all and and i see i see clint i say oh

00:50:02.680 what's up and i come to the table where all these other like weirdos are hanging out and immediately i

00:50:07.340 see this metrosexual across the table and he looks at me like he goes like this he goes and i look at

00:50:13.640 him and i go and cop in his head's going future crowder future crowder but like like there was 1.00

00:50:23.320 like an understanding of like like yo fuck you and he was still like he's still like fuck me but 1.00

00:50:29.060 since he was like fuck me i was like fuck you no i don't even have an issue with him i know i 1.00

00:50:33.640 really like the guy every time every time i've met them they've been super nice to me no they're 0.99

00:50:39.200 awesome they're very nice top is the instigator well no no i'm not i wasn't dude you literally that

00:50:48.100 day i don't even know what you said be like look at this 0.52

00:50:50.360 hell yeah no yeah like why it was serendipitous he he put up some shit about like he did a drawing of 0.93

00:51:01.240 all like the famous austrian economics and he drew them like entering the gates of heaven some like 0.99

00:51:05.500 real weird blasphemous shit and i just said i just said look at this faggotry or something i don't 0.99

00:51:10.020 remember what i said or i said the author the the author of this book is a huge faggot and i'm not 0.99

00:51:14.380 wrong he is but the initial beat the initial beef started jose was i like the meme yeah and then he 0.96

00:51:21.560 decided to come in my dms and did my like you instigate but you're like you're still keeping it going

00:51:27.280 and you're like no because then he then he insulted my kitchen table and oh i remember that yeah and

00:51:35.300 that's why oh yeah yes you know what you're bringing me back you're bringing me back i remember all the 0.93

00:51:41.560 petty shit what what what what absolutely arbitrary you insult my kitchen table well it was it was he 0.96

00:51:49.020 literally was the weirdest thing he's like look at this table dude's poor 0.99

00:51:51.560 i'm about to pull i'm about to pull all your man cards though right now because if anybody here on

00:51:59.860 this chat or in this whatever watching this show says they don't have a problem with the philosopher 0.99

00:52:04.020 and jack you're fucking liars because if they they made you they made you listen to tom wood's house 1.00

00:52:10.600 okay and everybody's just gonna act like that's okay this guy this guy was a huge faggot he was a 1.00

00:52:18.540 huge faggot he tried to tell me that i'm not allowed to like a meme and i was still nice to him 1.00

00:52:23.000 and then he went further and tried to act like i was an idiot and i said i did the math and i said oh 1.00

00:52:28.200 you just gave me the perfect out so i was like you know what you and your wife's music suck and i'm so 1.00

00:52:34.520 glad i like nobody else is saying this shit look look everyone's laughing oh my god you're laughing 0.99

00:52:40.960 because it's true it's garbage music they didn't even try as a matter of fact i respect him more if he 0.99

00:52:46.480 told me that he was just trolling us it's the equivalent of this show in relation to comedy

00:52:51.060 because we have this nice production value that top is provided and then just like everything else

00:52:55.700 it's like what's going on here you know no no it's the equivalent in this show in that in that when

00:53:00.880 they watch that stuff they laugh okay they laugh at us because we're funny and they laugh at that 0.70

00:53:05.520 because it's fucking ridiculous whatever he he gave me they laugh with us and at them yes he gave 0.93

00:53:11.620 bridge to just be like i've been waiting his entire life to say that yeah i'm finally cooler 0.98

00:53:17.300 than someone oh boy see like there you go thank you look i'm just saying what everybody else thinks

00:53:25.840 so no this is why this is why everyone loves you keep going word up here we go i mean just keep on

00:53:30.800 sounding off who hate who hates i mean hate is a strong word it's one of those things careful what

00:53:36.500 you wish for which is kind of what i was getting with with his autism he just like gets himself

00:53:40.340 like i just can't understand someone being in such an insanely glass house and being like you 0.99

00:53:46.400 know what i'm gonna fuck fuck with this dude who's renowned for just fucking up houses 1.00

00:53:52.480 i'm just i'm like the year i'm the european simulator dude just walking 1.00

00:53:58.440 you you live in a glass house and you want to talk shit to a wrecking ball are you fucking are you 0.99

00:54:05.040 ready for that smoke i don't think you're ready for that glass tom woods house glass tom woods house 1.00

00:54:09.340 all right next uh next mailbag oh no what were you saying about the there in or uh in orlando or

00:54:17.000 wherever you were when you were there besides like was it where you that was it all right so yo so

00:54:21.860 i go out i take uh i take jose and top out to show them the vet and they they're leaving so they

00:54:27.800 walk out and they literally come over and just like shake my hand or give me a hug or something

00:54:32.180 and they don't even make eye contact with top like they're so oh yeah yeah they're just like 0.98

00:54:38.560 the fuck out dude it's so funny no no one of the guys we're the gang man one of the dudes i came up 0.98

00:54:43.740 to i'm sorry i just remembered the chick who came up and the you gotta think of a vet a sports car 0.99

00:54:47.520 being so low yeah and she's like right here and they're like titties are kind of hanging out and 0.94

00:54:50.800 she's just sitting there talking i just remember looking over and just being like i know from his view 0.97

00:54:54.200 he's just like titties wait who's this shit i don't remember her name i don't think i ever knew 0.97

00:55:01.760 her name but go on those people it was and you know no no no that was the other girl anyways go 0.99

00:55:06.200 ahead these are still our people so i'm not gonna shit on them but this is also tower gang so i'm 0.87

00:55:09.800 gonna shit on them they all came up to us like like we're all talking at this table and they go 0.98

00:55:14.440 like they sit and they wait instead of like like if you're about to leave and my boys over here or 0.99

00:55:18.780 someone i know i just tap you on the show be like yo man thanks for i'll see you later bro great to

00:55:22.200 see you and then i leave or i don't say anything at all they all wait to be acknowledged and then

00:55:27.560 like josie like announces them they're like excuse me somebody's here for you it was like two or three

00:55:32.140 people and they keep on no it was like it was like 10 people dude it was like 12 people talk 1.00

00:55:37.380 it was like 40 people it was just it was just jack and fuck you're included in that bitch 1.00

00:55:44.060 so they all go they all go and they like they like bow to clint and they do all this weird 1.00

00:55:49.960 asian shit and clint's like he clint's like he's eating his shit and he's like you know go yes 0.99

00:55:54.820 go be with your people and so and then one of the guys can i can i pay my tithing sir and i'm like 1.00

00:56:01.660 yes yes thank you so you could pick up my tab now get the fuck out of my eyesight thank you yes 0.88

00:56:06.160 they were there one of the guys josey they were there for clint they ignore josey and one of the 0.92

00:56:11.540 guys says to clint uh clint says to one of the guys he was like oh you're a tower gang fan tell

00:56:15.960 him how you like tower gang tell him right now and the guy goes he's like a little nervous and

00:56:19.960 he's like oh i love tower gang and then he goes oh i'm a right am i wrong jose and he goes tell

00:56:25.620 him how you like target i like oh he's like top i i'm big fan top top and i was like yeah my my 0.94

00:56:33.160 nigga what's up i gave him power but i'm like yo dude like if you're watching this shit like just be 0.98

00:56:41.080 like yo i i seen your show or don't say anything at all like but like it was just weird like they 0.96

00:56:45.080 showed me the top of his head i was like i don't know what's going on here they were like

00:56:49.440 he's i mean he's slightly exaggerating but it's basically like that look let's just be honest

00:56:55.780 our audience is essentially a bunch of artists so like this is what you deal with anywhere i go

00:57:00.560 i have a whole bunch of artists that got around but the problem is they go like yes sir yes

00:57:04.580 i probably did the same thing to like the people like if i when i met dave or like i did the same

00:57:11.280 thing of like we acknowledge like don't like it like i did waiting for the opportunity to speak

00:57:16.420 to them you know the first few times and the last time i saw dave at skanks i was like what's up dave

00:57:21.240 like okay like we're done we're it's not that i'm not on the same level as you but it's just like okay

00:57:25.960 you're never gonna respect me if i do like oh right right you're not gonna you're never gonna

00:57:31.840 remember me if i'm in my sports car okay if i'm sitting in my sports car showing my boy the 0.99

00:57:37.020 bow surround sound system and all the primary colors on this bitch you don't walk up you don't 1.00

00:57:43.100 walk up to me yo guys for real for real he has the sickest car and i'm so glad you showed me this car 0.98

00:57:51.900 because i like me and my wife laughed the whole time flying to jamaica because i was like i'm

00:57:57.380 explaining it to her i'm like yo it's like it's a ferrari right that's what it is it's a corvette i'm not 0.97

00:58:02.960 a car dude it's a corvette it's this thing is slick as shit it looks like it flies in space 0.91

00:58:07.580 and it has it's like i'm trying to remember so it's like black with this like beautiful powder blue 0.60

00:58:13.600 and then clinton was like he's going through a midlife crisis so he was like he told the guy he's

00:58:17.300 like you know what i always wanted mustard yellow racing stripes and the guy was like why he's like

00:58:22.100 that's just that's what i want put it on there so the guy's like all right fine so he puts these like

00:58:27.880 two racing stripes like that don't make no sense and then and clinton's like yo you got to check out

00:58:32.520 the interior interior so i was like all right cool and he opened it like the the cockpit of like

00:58:41.080 it's basically that's what it's a fighter pilot the driver's seat has this like console on the right

00:58:46.400 side that has like all this it's for real feels like it's crazy like yeah it's insane it's crazy

00:58:51.340 i love cars like that though you're like you're like you're locked in driver's car yeah yeah what i

00:58:56.520 what what shocked me about the car was that so like i said you got powder blue on the outside with

00:59:00.680 this like like slick black and then this yellow okay and then you open up the door and and it's

00:59:07.000 like the seats are like beautiful leather and i'm like that's red leather it's like it's almost like

00:59:12.360 it's almost like he he said i want the inside of the car to look like a different car from the

00:59:17.620 outside of the car and the guy was like you said that no no no i i picked it on the internet i got to 0.96

00:59:23.020 pick out all the all the colors and shit someone's audio is fucked up that's me again this is i don't 0.99

00:59:27.560 know what i'm gonna have to buy a new what's funny what's funny is like you you know you can get 0.98

00:59:31.460 this car's like 60 grand you know that right it's like no it's 100 but i was gonna say it's

00:59:36.420 definitely more than that the base model is 60 grand msrp which is i think i think it is

00:59:43.020 you got the racing stripe upgrade okay no i mean that's most of the the upgrades are you know

00:59:52.260 decorative they're not performance because but i i did get the uh updated uh brake pads like i got

00:59:57.320 it's the i got the oh no i'm not i'm not this is not worth the top like you can get this car as well

01:00:02.780 like he went to the he went to the buffet no i'm not saying that it's out of reach it's just like

01:00:07.020 i respect clint so much more because he went to the buffet and he said i'm having chicken nuggets

01:00:12.680 i'm having pancakes i'm having steak and i'm just gonna put ice cream ice cream on top of it too

01:00:17.680 and just ate it all because that's that's you know why because that's what i want okay that's

01:00:23.120 the kind of assertiveness that we need as president of the united states yeah

01:00:27.460 i gotta ask you something real quick at that meeting like meetup we had or whatever did you

01:00:36.440 guys notice at the table next to us there was like a dude that was like glaring at us most of the time

01:00:40.760 yeah i don't think he came with that group like i think it was just some outside it was all the n

01:00:45.300 words you were dropping yeah i did say the n word like five times i kept forgetting he was there 0.99

01:00:48.480 with like his black girl well josey was josey was also dude i was like i don't give a fuck 0.98

01:00:53.120 she was sitting next to us and she was talking about how like she's in some kind of like deep 0.99

01:00:57.320 underground chat because now elon musk file we were talking about shit that normal people 0.99

01:01:01.200 don't understand they probably don't even have twitter so they're like what the fuck are these 0.99

01:01:05.100 people talking about well i mean it was that mixed with a tremendous amount of racism so like i can 0.99

01:01:09.580 understand this dude sitting there with his black his black girlfriend or wife or whatever and he's

01:01:12.680 like yo this is pre-jamaica racism too yeah yeah you ever see somebody in public with twitter open 0.99

01:01:18.840 and you're just like i wonder if they've ever seen like my shit like yeah because like i don't know 0.86

01:01:25.200 this person from adam and like they just have twitter open you're just like one you never see people 0.91

01:01:30.200 with twitter i don't know what it is like just have it open on it i always see maybe instagram or

01:01:34.980 youtube never twitter in public but the second thing i think it's like what are they just like what

01:01:40.240 group chests they're in because if you're on twitter you're probably in a group chat yeah they could

01:01:43.960 they could be like an anon that we actually know yeah like you know like you have no clue

01:01:47.900 i cannot even comprehend this because like this reminds me of okay in our in our not in this

01:01:55.160 our tower gang group chat but we have another one with like all the like the fans or just like

01:01:59.060 what kind of started the beginnings of tower gang is this group of people the one i left a long

01:02:03.180 time ago yeah there was a long time where we we've had different variations of the name of the

01:02:07.340 group chat at one point it was a glow nigger social club which is many times that was my 1.00

01:02:11.940 favorite because i just think it's hilarious uh but very hard to open up in public yeah

01:02:16.640 terrible to open up public comprehend this problem like who are you really worried about looking at

01:02:23.140 your phone like i don't know i open my phone and like literally anybody like who who does that

01:02:28.980 who's like looking at their phone for one i don't maybe i just have awful vision i just is not a

01:02:32.760 thing i even crossed my mind i'm never packed in with people that much or i'm like oh no they're

01:02:37.060 gonna see my phone i always am yeah you want me to pull up yeah i'm on the subway and yeah

01:02:43.000 surrounded by black people oh what is that chat you're in complain about that i just like wow you 1.00

01:02:48.000 must have an awful life that you can't have a chat with nigger in it except there's no no none of 1.00

01:02:54.080 them are actually allowed yeah that's just the name yeah we don't allow niggers in our group chat 1.00

01:02:57.700 but we i meant i meant the name is what i meant oh my god next you guys know that josey's got 0.62

01:03:04.300 50 000 more followers than dave wild man that's so trippy dude she's i honestly think wait a woman 1.00

01:03:11.640 has only 50 000 more than dave oh that's a good point i mean like come on like she's

01:03:16.360 good job dave you're killing it bro yeah he is ginger gender swap dave i just realized that 0.99

01:03:23.240 wow interesting somebody somebody run that i think we have literally quantified for having a vagina 1.00

01:03:30.900 maybe some of that could be ginger i don't know 0.96

01:03:35.900 you know let me let me finish this uh this story because i feel like we're like getting like late

01:03:43.260 yeah yeah so the guy he lets us know we're not going to be going on bamboo raft sit on the bamboo

01:03:48.840 raft um i noticed a fat black lady there uh one of the guys that's supposed to be driving the raft 1.00

01:03:54.920 is now uh he's taking mud or they they said it's limestone but it's probably just mud and he's giving 0.86

01:04:00.400 this lady a full body sensual massage rub with this mud and then he he washes her off and her husband's 1.00

01:04:07.000 sitting on another bamboo raft and he's recording this is all clown shit again he's recording his wife 0.99

01:04:11.480 yeah that was what they were doing so uh and and this guy's just in this in his wife's in his 1.00

01:04:17.340 wife's butt cheeks just bouncing them and doing shit and the husband's like yeah get in there yeah 1.00

01:04:21.260 oh no and swear to god recording it my wife turns to me she's what's going on it's just clown shit 1.00

01:04:26.500 it's all clown shit holy shit they're cocks dude that's it's the strangest thing but now everybody's 1.00

01:04:32.120 there they're twerking they're asking then they say they say to me he goes you want some rum man you 1.00

01:04:37.140 look bored drink some rum and i was like no thanks then he says come on drink some rum and i

01:04:41.420 said no no thanks he goes come on man it's easy drink some rum three times and i said okay fine

01:04:46.500 so he then he goes i'll get you some rum twenty dollars yeah so i i paid for the rum dude he

01:04:54.560 climbed down from a tree ridiculous by the way like yeah he he goes up somewhere and then climbs down

01:05:00.540 from a tree and gives me like the hottest rum i've ever tasted so now i'm drinking this rum from god 0.96

01:05:04.780 knows where sitting on this raft no it's garbage it's hot it's like the the same temperature as your

01:05:09.920 mouth it's 100 degrees and they don't have any electricity so of course they just keeping it

01:05:14.660 between their legs um so then then the guy goes uh okay man uh i'm gonna get you a foot rub you want 0.84

01:05:23.560 a foot rub and i say absolutely not don't want a foot rub and he says two more times oh no i'm gonna

01:05:29.460 get you i'm gonna get you a foot rub and i'm like okay fine so he brings down these two ladies 1.00

01:05:34.460 one old one really young and he says they're gonna rub your feet and then you're gonna you're

01:05:40.760 gonna tip them he doesn't say you know you should he says you're going to and i said okay fine they

01:05:47.440 rub my feet with this mud keep in mind my wife has like open weeping sores on her legs right so they're 1.00

01:05:53.960 now they're like massaging us and putting all this shit on like on the around it they're trying to do 0.87

01:05:59.200 around the sores but not really because rubbing mud into them rubbing mud into the sores and i'm 0.96

01:06:04.120 looking around and i'm seeing the houses there and i'm noticing ah no plumbing in these houses 0.99

01:06:09.860 they're just shacks all these shacks and i'm like oh no they shit they shit right in this river 1.00

01:06:17.220 then they take they take a dirty rag oh my god and they wipe off the mud from your legs and then they 1.00

01:06:24.900 put oil on it and they say then they go tip everything is fucking tip so oh my god but even 0.99

01:06:32.160 even the mud has shit in it yes so i give them a tip we leave the raft they go you know i feel bad 0.98

01:06:39.380 since we didn't get to uh do the bamboo rafting we'll give you a tour of our neighborhood and 0.71

01:06:45.800 right anyone with like common sense says no thanks bring me to the catamaran boat where there's some 0.95

01:06:51.860 civilization but i say yes let me see how let me see how fucking dumb this can get so how poor are 0.98

01:06:58.920 you let me see they showed me you walk up the mountain 0.98

01:07:02.500 i've got a tip for you 1.00

01:07:07.820 fucking poor bastards i'm shitting in your drinking water 1.00

01:07:12.000 it's it's it's a wild way to be it's a beautiful river but it's brown and now i know why because they 1.00

01:07:17.820 shit right in the river so we walk up the mountain some more on the left there's like this uh 0.92

01:07:22.940 yeah no for real 0.91

01:07:25.440 all i kept saying to my wife is like yo they drop off 0.98

01:07:30.060 you drop off one white person here and like this island would just be like fucking shape up because 0.99

01:07:35.580 they have everything they have all the resources but they just can't put it together like they they're 0.98

01:07:39.240 completely poor but they could really it could be a beautiful rich island they can't figure it out

01:07:43.620 it's like a tiny africa keep going it's crazy it's crazy it's a it's a complete like easy like

01:07:50.700 comparison between jamaica and like the cayman islands and like the cayman islands are still under

01:07:56.180 british rule directly and the cayman islands i was like where everybody goes for banking for like

01:08:01.480 they want to go there for like vacations for illegal activities bigger has more like they have

01:08:08.060 probably have i i did a uh a cruise through the entire like bvis the british virgin islands 0.87

01:08:13.580 and i i hit like eight of them i'm telling you saint bart's is fucking like one of the nicest 0.87

01:08:19.000 places on the planet it's so all of those ones all the ones that are still like owned by like 0.79

01:08:23.600 britain and there's some that are owned also by the u.s like uh the um virgin islands the virgin

01:08:29.400 islands and also i mean like the canaries i believe are still owned by like britain or somebody

01:08:33.540 like basically the moral of the story is if you give independence to black people they never evolve

01:08:37.600 yeah they don't even try they don't even i was hoping you guys would laugh harder at that now 0.98

01:08:44.020 i love that because uh black people are just you guys are all just like yeah uh-huh uh-huh yeah 0.95

01:08:49.040 this has become comedy this is supposed to be like a comedy show but like like this is more of like a 0.95

01:08:54.040 regular podcast where we're just telling information we're just like doing like race realism shit and 0.72

01:08:58.860 everyone's like go anywhere in the caribbean like think about haiti or um uh was it standard

01:09:06.980 the american republic dominican republic the same island rikers island hispan 0.95

01:09:12.560 like i think guatemala isn't that another one that's also like probably pretty fucked up because 0.90

01:09:19.860 they uh did they try to i'd assume so no that's not i'm guatemala is in central america yeah

01:09:25.320 what's the one that the u.s invaded uh in the 80s you're gonna have to narrow it down dude

01:09:31.980 nicaragua no no no no the islands the one that we uh invaded down sorry yeah it's true i think

01:09:41.120 haiti jamaica i think there's a bunch that we fucked up yeah the whole the whole area yeah 0.99

01:09:46.540 whatever yeah yeah so we're walking up the the mountain again to the left is like a barbed wire fence 0.91

01:09:54.060 and there's like a hundred jamaican dudes back there just playing dominoes and drinking

01:09:58.420 granada yeah right we're not i never even heard of granada yeah we invaded it in like the 80s

01:10:02.920 and just for like that's right no reason they're in a little they're in like a little shack and the

01:10:09.080 shack says that's it has like a as a neon sign that says bar but there's no electricity so it's not lit

01:10:14.780 up and we walk by and they all stop like national geographic and they look at us and we just walk by

01:10:20.420 like it's complete silence and we keep going there's more like little sheds on the other side

01:10:25.040 and he goes this is the finest uh hair salon in this neighborhood and i said yeah in the shack is

01:10:31.720 like five people there's a newborn baby there's no lights everyone's just in there sweating and they're 0.98

01:10:35.940 like braiding hair i'm like oh my god this is fucking crazy shit so we continue up the island 0.89

01:10:40.900 we're gonna see a waterfall which is actually nice and the guy tells me he's like you know a lot 0.99

01:10:45.500 of people think that jamaicans are violent or like we want to kill you and rob you but we would 0.98

01:10:50.800 never kill you and rob you because you're the ones who pay us and i go wow and then he's like yeah so 0.96

01:10:57.400 you don't have to you know we're not going to try to murder you or anything and i was like you know 0.97

01:11:00.960 what i said i told him i said if you murdered me right now you'd be doing me a favor and the guy

01:11:05.140 he looked at me he was like 0.99

01:11:07.560 so whatever they go up he shows us the fucking waterfall come back down he asked for a tip i 0.98

01:11:16.380 give him a tip we do more of course he didn't ask it's all all i'm learning from this is top 0.99

01:11:21.800 has realized the entire scam but he's still the easiest mark because he still does

01:11:26.720 no no no i i went up that hill out of pure curiosity because oh yeah on the way back down 0.99

01:11:35.660 this motherfucker had the nerve to show us this yellow house with bars on the window 0.97

01:11:39.040 and he said that's our airbnb so next time you stay at jamaica you can stay here and he gave me 1.00

01:11:43.660 a brochure and i was like are you out of your fucking mind it sounds like a jail like save the 0.99

01:11:48.960 paper in the windows there's like shaking them at night and he goes no next time please stay here 0.99

01:11:54.280 and top's like no and he's going next time please stay here and it's probably he's like all right

01:11:57.880 i'll stay there next time my yeah he smoked he said but hey yo my my favorite part my favorite part of

01:12:06.540 this entire story and this is the part that top hasn't said but it's quite crystal clear is that

01:12:11.600 very very much his decision making is predicated on like how can i have the best story when i get

01:12:17.180 back on tower gang because i feel like that's why you're doing half of what you're doing yeah i would

01:12:20.840 have said like if i wasn't if i wasn't like doing anything where i was talking to people i would

01:12:25.520 have said i'm not even going on an excursion i'm not going to jamaica we can go to aruba what are

01:12:30.680 you talking about it's beautiful that's why i'm out there throwing myself in front of cars it's all for

01:12:34.920 the show these mexican cruises are the best you go and like mexico was still really nice and like

01:12:41.720 everything i've heard about like mexican cruises or mexican all-inclusive resorts are amazing like

01:12:46.100 yeah they're nice they're like there's hardly any blacks and like like it's not rum it's tequila 1.00

01:12:53.620 so you're having way more fun it's delicious margaritas are amazing and like they have

01:12:58.300 electricity they have electricity they do they're very very nice it's true like and all the mexican

01:13:03.100 they're they're paid like nothing so it's still really cheap like it's way better than any like

01:13:08.380 they have an actual cuisine so so listen to this it's great so now this driver this driver now

01:13:14.800 brings us to the catamaran cruise and we go on the cruise like two boats park right next to each

01:13:20.340 other we i i go over one boat and they're like you're on the second boat so we're the first people

01:13:25.400 on because we're like whiter so we're on time everybody that shows up it's like it's like the

01:13:30.640 it's like the hotel of santa it's like fucking brownsville again everyone shows up there's the 0.99

01:13:33.780 most ghetto black people and i'm like god fucking damn it like i thought like a cruise like we're paying 0.99

01:13:40.660 a lot of money for a cruise i'm like i thought this is going to be like you know civilized no 1.00

01:13:45.580 the first boat is full of white people they put me on the black people boat 1.00

01:13:50.060 they're playing music they were going i don't even care anymore they're playing music that i don't even 0.98

01:13:59.020 recognize and the thing too is like the reason i'm being this overtly racist is because the black 0.99

01:14:03.520 people are looking at me and my wife the same way i'm looking at them like what the fuck are you 0.99

01:14:08.040 doing here like i don't belong there i paid to be there and i'm looking at them like you could 0.99

01:14:13.200 easily pass for mixed if you wanted to yeah and they're still looking at you like i guess because 0.55

01:14:17.940 i mean they're like eight shades darker than you or something yes yeah well he he's thinking they're

01:14:22.720 thinking that he's like a member of the latin kings probably right yeah well he kind of is rival gang 0.99

01:14:27.740 so there yeah yeah i'd be pissed i was kind of pissed whatever they're just twerking the whole time

01:14:34.380 then then we do like a we do a stop where you do a snorkel none of them get off the boat because 0.99

01:14:38.920 none of them could swim they're all freaking out it's it's a clown it's clown shit really and then 0.97

01:14:42.820 then they bring us to a restaurant right and and it's uh it's a margaritaville so jimmy buffett we 0.98

01:14:48.100 entered through a cave because it's because it's jamaica margaritaville is the best as everybody knows

01:14:54.300 yes the nicest the nicest on the island we entered through a cave we go upstairs we go uh sit at the

01:15:02.240 bar my wife orders a 15 tacos i give him 20 the guy takes 20 never comes back yeah so that's it

01:15:09.780 he just took his tip he didn't even ask behind us is an impromptu twerk contest and these girls are 1.00

01:15:15.560 just twerking doing the most vile shit like i seen like this girl's vagina come out it was just it's 1.00

01:15:20.640 disgusting it's just disgusting but like we're watching now and we're like we're like that lady 1.00

01:15:25.320 that's like observing the monkeys and like such interesting behavior we're just like looking at 0.99

01:15:29.180 like all the shit that's going on top lobsters david attenborough this becomes an anthropological 0.99

01:15:36.180 study yeah next time i'm bringing my notebook and my fucking binoculars you start sketching them 0.98

01:15:42.340 wait top i actually said you mentioned that they they almost everywhere you've gone you've mentioned 0.96

01:15:46.500 that they start twerking is that are you like exaggerating or did they literally just like

01:15:50.280 there was nothing just happening and they're just like all right like i said at check-in no music 1.00

01:15:55.320 it's like hotel music like fucking jazz and this bitch just starts bam bam bam and like her ass 1.00

01:16:01.140 she's individually twerking i'm like what is this what's going on everybody's twerking all day look 1.00

01:16:06.020 at jose you fucking weirdo oh it's not even yeah the most libertarian moment was i mean 0.95

01:16:11.880 yeah yeah i was saying i like the sound of this by a year 0.99

01:16:15.580 yeah so that um yeah so so we're in the restaurant we're gonna leave pull up pull up the picture of

01:16:22.700 the guy on still sticky i sent it in the chat oh yeah yeah i forgot about this so we're leaving

01:16:28.100 and uh you're going down the stairs again this guy here he says take a picture mon and i say no

01:16:35.060 and he goes come on and i'm like no thanks he goes come on it's easy they say it's easy and i was like

01:16:41.420 i guess it would be easy so i take out my phone and i go and i take a selfie i'm like oh cool and i go 0.99

01:16:47.960 to walk away and he grabs me he goes tip and he asked me for a tip so i'm like mother fuck so i give 0.98

01:16:52.740 him a tip and then i leave and every fucking time everyone everyone that you talk to in this island 0.99

01:16:57.900 all it is is new york dude you know this happens on new york they do the same shit on the street 0.98

01:17:04.740 top was all about getting material for the show i i appreciate the sacrifice it's different though 0.80

01:17:09.800 it's different because you're on an island filled with these people and it's like in new york somebody 0.99

01:17:14.600 gives me a cd i throw it on the ground and then i'm like fuck you 1.00

01:17:18.200 over here if i do that here i have to fight this guy and he's eight feet tall look at him he's on 0.99

01:17:25.600 still and there's no police so like you're on your own there's no police i gotta fight his friends

01:17:31.160 who are his friends everybody on this island i don't know so i'm like when they ask you for a tip

01:17:35.880 it's not that they're asking you they're just like yo give me money and you just like fine and you just

01:17:40.480 give him money and you just gotta to keep going so we get back on the boat more twerking more twerking 0.93

01:17:46.860 more ass it's disgusting we get off the boat and this is the end of the excursion our cab driver just 0.99

01:17:53.200 doesn't show back up i call him i say where are you he says i'm not coming back so we're just 0.98

01:17:56.920 now we're stuck in the sun is setting we're stuck so i'm like i'm like panicking because i'm with my

01:18:02.760 wife i don't know what to do i don't know a cab company we end up getting in like a bus like how

01:18:07.040 you described yeah a lot of white people on it the guy gave him us gave us a ride oh that was the bus

01:18:13.880 that i was probably on that's fucking hilarious dude he gave us a ride we got back to the hotel 0.90

01:18:18.360 i gave that guy a tip and we're back in safety that was that was the only tip that was earned

01:18:23.540 that entire trip you know how many how many days were you there uh four days three or four it sounds

01:18:28.880 like a it sounds like a four-day hostage situation it was constantly paying ransoms oh no no he's

01:18:37.040 literally it's like a mob he's paying for protection service they're like tips but this tip is just like 0.60

01:18:41.480 that's right you give me money or i kill you you want to breathe man i want to breathe man i'll like i'll give 0.75

01:18:47.960 you entertainment what i'll call entertainment and then you give me money and i'll just say you 0.98

01:18:53.320 have to go job brah yeah it's their culture yeah and then that's when i realized i put it together

01:18:58.360 it is their culture tipping is there it's like they're real big on tipping like they they ask

01:19:02.280 their family members for tips when their family visits so the family doesn't even visit them i seen

01:19:06.180 people in the resort they're like yo i'm from here i don't visit my family the family you don't mess

01:19:11.740 with the family jesus it's that yeah do we do we have any other mailbag questions yeah we do yeah

01:19:17.100 yeah let's do that let's do that all right so monsters whoever that is asks if you had to fake

01:19:24.900 your own death how would you do it and what would your new life be i'm gonna move to jamaica

01:19:31.100 i'm gonna be the richest man on jamaica i'll make 30 grand a year and i will be 0.95

01:19:38.540 i mean to fake your own death i feel like you need another body and that's just a whole other 0.62

01:19:44.100 bunch of work and you gotta like another body no no you don't like you can really i mean other than

01:19:49.840 just disappearing yeah you can disappear create a death certificate fishing accidents whatever

01:19:54.900 yeah like uh like i went out on a boat into the gulf and then i went fishing bad storm

01:20:01.680 cole's no longer here he's what about now you need a second boat to somehow bring a boat out to the

01:20:06.860 second boat for because it has the most bad you had to have gone out on a boat initially so there

01:20:12.420 has to be why not just be like move to take the boat wherever the fuck you want just go i mean just 0.70

01:20:17.540 i have a very extra push it in the water uh the most badass no you have a db cooper do what he did 0.97

01:20:24.200 and then you're bank and then rob a bank no no no no and then jump out no he hijacked a plane

01:20:29.500 demanded like millions of dollars from the government jumped out of the plane and disappeared 0.95

01:20:34.200 and i think you survived i have a better i have a better answer i am going to join your death though

01:20:38.940 i'm gonna join i'm gonna fake mine i joined the foreign legion in ukraine uh which obviously i would

01:20:44.900 be signaling to my audience that this is a nonsense story but i want the government to think that it's

01:20:49.900 legitimate so i go there to fight on behalf of ukraine i then join azov battalion i then fake

01:20:55.460 my death because obviously i go into the trenches i die right away but in fact i just throw some

01:21:00.640 random ukrainian in there because i look like them and then i then i go to i i uh i migrate to poland

01:21:06.360 i join the nazi movement there i find a smoke show polack i marry her have a thousand kids 0.83

01:21:12.560 that's my plan yeah that's actually not a bad plan that's actually smart like getting involved

01:21:17.980 in foreign wars exactly because that's easy there's the fog of war there's no one will ever

01:21:23.580 figure it out yeah i mean you could just kill a dude in war like that's not like not someone you're 0.94

01:21:27.980 supposed to kill and no one's gonna give a shit yeah i would do that as much as possible yeah just 0.99

01:21:31.940 shoot your dudes in the back yeah and then just be like yeah he died of a heart attack like 1.00

01:21:36.540 that's me that's me in poland you just have to put some fucking little dime piece polack 1.00

01:21:41.180 next to me exactly yeah same thing for me if i would uh fake my own death um what i would do 0.98

01:21:48.880 at first i have to do a couple things in like my life now so i would become uh like a basketball

01:21:52.760 player or something i would i would i would like set the record for the most points scored all time

01:21:56.960 in the nba then i would go on a helicopter but there would be an identical helicopter right next to

01:22:03.100 mine mine would go one way i'd be going to jamaica and the helicopter that you think i'm on

01:22:08.300 with you yeah yeah he'd swap places with kobe bryan i bring my bring my daughter whatever

01:22:14.400 and then and then the one the empty helicopter i'd crash it into a side of a mountain and then i'd live 0.98

01:22:20.540 in jamaica and just just like write memoirs of the clown shit that i see there throughout my travels 0.94

01:22:24.780 would you score 81 points and win five championships too yeah that's the hard part about that's like 0.95

01:22:30.800 there's a lot of a lot of things i'd have to do before that is the hard part no no see here's an even

01:22:36.040 easier one i become let's say the chancellor of pop music or something like that something you know

01:22:41.740 some type of thing like that i love little boys they all come over my house and then the heat's

01:22:47.180 kind of getting a little high so i just fake like a overdose death and then i go live with my other

01:22:53.320 boy that got uh killed in a gang attack in los angeles uh tupac or something like that and we all go

01:23:01.400 and with kobe saying we're all going to jamaica we just live there that's what i would do so yeah

01:23:05.880 yeah that's how you shoot your dad i like there you go yep yeah that's how you get away with uh

01:23:12.300 having little boys uh show you their buttholes so yeah that's the solid plan second strangely 0.99

01:23:17.860 pedophilia oriented comment tonight all right yeah nice and that's how we kill ourselves i still 0.96

01:23:24.280 cannot believe top you did not get some blow in four days in jamaica and just have a whole day of 0.99

01:23:28.940 fucking like that's retarded that's that's the move i don't think i'm afraid i love that jose's 0.99

01:23:36.340 still a drug addict even though he says he used to be a drug addict having all those sores on her 1.00

01:23:40.660 legs i'm surprised if he even got one got to bang one time she gets some blow in her fucking nose 1.00

01:23:45.460 not gonna be a shit but i'm sorry fair enough not them sores let me let me let me tell you so the 0.99

01:23:52.020 end of this story we get back to the hotel right it's like we're tired i got my my tank top on that 0.96

01:23:57.960 you see me in and we go right to one of these restaurants right and we're like we're hungry

01:24:01.580 we're gonna eat we try to walk in the lady is like stop man you must have sleeves to enter this 1.00

01:24:07.080 establishment oh my god and i look in and i see a bunch of fucking black people with like barely 1.00

01:24:13.700 clothes one lady has her ass on the seats i could see another lady's nipples just the most ratchet 1.00

01:24:18.880 chip and then i'm also thinking about what i just saw i was like you live in tin like you're 1.00

01:24:23.180 gonna leave this resort and live and live in a fucking tin hut and you're gonna tell me i need 0.99

01:24:29.400 sleeves so i laughed in her face and i went back to hotel i put some sleeves on because this is 1.00

01:24:34.040 we're this is clown shit we're in clown world i put sleeves on we went down we sat down we ate 0.99

01:24:37.380 and i we didn't even eat we just fucking cried laughing just talking about whatever just happened 0.99

01:24:41.520 the most bizarre shit in the world are you ever gonna go back uh i would go back but i would 0.97

01:24:47.700 i would go back but i have to go back with like people who and i'll go back to the same resort 0.99

01:24:53.920 the hilarity oh yes tower gang oh you go black you don't know no maybe somebody in the comments is

01:25:00.820 are the bahamas better is this like or is this like a weird type of look i'm gonna be honest with you 0.81

01:25:05.840 any anywhere that's predominantly um not white kind of similar i but i knew a bunch of bohemians in

01:25:13.460 college and they were all like good pretty good dudes but they did the jamaicans are good people

01:25:17.960 too i'm just telling you the energy the vibe just feels dangerous and it's not because they're black 0.99

01:25:22.820 i'm telling you i've been around black people i don't feel that way like crazy poor but yeah

01:25:26.780 all the people in mexico i mean they all say it's nice over there and they're probably still 1.00

01:25:32.660 fucking poor shit oh there's some dangerous fucking territories in mexico too that's right yeah but 0.99

01:25:37.060 like yeah in puerto rico my my uncle lives up a hill the same kind of hill that we went up clint 1.00

01:25:42.740 and he built three houses they have electricity and running water and wi-fi not really it's a 0.94

01:25:49.680 commonwealth but it's like poor as fuck if you went up there you're like oh it's sketchy and it's poor 0.98

01:25:53.400 but it's like at least people are trying at least he's got wi-fi in his house they're not even trying 1.00

01:25:58.000 over there they're just like they're just doing clown shit all day i don't even think it's a real place 0.94

01:26:02.220 like and then to top it off the bob marley thing does anyone know how he died yeah he cancer in his 0.99

01:26:08.900 toe okay cancer in his toe you believe that no not really i never heard of that it's the dumbest 0.99

01:26:17.080 shit in the world cancer what the fuck he died a concert the toe man they told me this shit jamaica's 1.00

01:26:23.260 faking gay man jamaica it's the fakest dumbest shit and they all believe it i'm like when she told me 1.00

01:26:30.620 that i was like yeah but how did he really die you're like probably no man the toe and i like there's 1.00

01:26:34.840 probably just stopped coming out of his trap house and that's probably it you know like

01:26:38.380 a lot of people think he hotbox way too hard and just literally no oxygen left just a lot of people

01:26:45.000 think that it's his his anti-war music that the cia took him out i was like i was like i don't think

01:26:49.920 they're really afraid of any jamaicans dude if i'm yeah all right so to get to conspiracy top uh he was a

01:26:56.280 bob marley jimmy hendrix and like a couple other people are the only music musical artists that record in

01:27:03.620 432 hertz oh yeah and the which is yeah yeah nazi hertz yes yeah so so like yeah in like the early

01:27:11.220 1900s they has like a global meeting i think in germany and they all got together it was by gerbils

01:27:16.200 it was by fucking like or one of the top nazis guys we're doing 434 now yeah no they decided 440 a is 0.90

01:27:23.360 the is the hertz that everything will be turned tuned to so when you when you play an a like a middle a 0.97

01:27:28.620 on a piano it's 440 was 1448 just way too high yeah it was it was too it was too hectic so yeah

01:27:35.540 they changed that and there's actually health studies by the national national institute of

01:27:40.280 health says like 432 actually makes you feel better has like healing effects like calming effects for

01:27:46.160 your heart cardiovascular like digestion all kinds of shit like that but they raise the the frequency by 0.96

01:27:51.660 like just a little bit just yeah by eight just to fuck with you but bob marley was one of the people 0.99

01:27:56.520 who recorded all his records in 432 i do legit think that like there are forces out there that 0.98

01:28:02.580 will try to get to you in one way or the other you know and like in relation to like music if you start

01:28:08.960 trying to put out too positive of stuff or just anything any sort of content creation like if you're 0.91

01:28:13.820 huge big names because this is where you get the conspiracies of like bob marley michael jackson shit

01:28:19.200 like that because it's like they were putting out like weirdly positive messages that was not the 0.63

01:28:25.200 common stuff you would hear in music and i do think that kind of stuff has an effect on people

01:28:30.920 and if you're like actually legitimately building people up it's kind of like yo dog what are you 1.00

01:28:34.520 doing here trying to kill people yeah yeah drugs fuck women kill people you know i can't i can't 1.00

01:28:41.780 talk to this shit but like dicky give us give us one more one more yeah all right ricky asks can we 1.00

01:28:49.660 please get a where are they now episode featuring nick reed josh smith and that gay guy with the ar 0.99

01:28:56.000 uh josh smith has a million children at this point so that's what you need to stop can we can we like

01:29:03.400 get with josh and be like can we get an intervention look look honestly we need an intervention but like

01:29:08.540 he's also offsetting at least a half a dozen incels in our community so i think yeah yeah exactly yeah

01:29:13.620 he has the most uh powerful seed imaginable his wife they just had a baby and like she's gonna

01:29:20.360 pop another one out yeah yeah they've had like three and three i mean top has two kids and i think 1.00

01:29:25.740 on a weekly basis he talks about how he wants to kill both of them oh yeah or at least not have them

01:29:30.460 reed is uh in new hampshire and is uh working all the time so he's given up remember he still has 0.85

01:29:39.900 yeah reed works in the same way that toad thinks he works and so like reed has actual like physical

01:29:47.120 demands to where he doesn't sleep and stuff like that right toad just doesn't sleep because he

01:29:52.100 thinks he needs to do things that don't matter no i mean i've i've four hours commuting every day

01:29:56.920 plus eight hours that's okay you know there's 24 hours i mean there's 20 other hours yes reed left

01:30:03.160 uh the gang uh i just i just said never really left so i have no idea that's 12 hours that's

01:30:11.180 half the day that means you have another four hours before you need to yeah and i need to get

01:30:14.680 shit done yeah what are you doing you're lifting weights yeah reed's basically our 0.87

01:30:19.600 pitch hitter that hardly ever pitch hits uh so reed reed is a very busy uh manly man i'm going 0.99

01:30:30.200 to have an intervention with toad at some point because i i i got we have an intervention with

01:30:34.140 toad every day no i'm fine in the group chat i was like toad if you can't get it done in 16 hours

01:30:40.880 it does not need to be done it does not matter what else make any sense some some things take

01:30:45.320 a long time to get that makes sense how does that make sense you have to a certain point you're like

01:30:50.480 yo dog i need to like shit content who are the other people who's the ar who's the ar guy nick ashley 0.90

01:30:58.220 nick ashley was one of them nick where is nick now nick had a baby i don't know i think he's 0.99

01:31:02.700 just doing the same shit i couldn't give a fuck less i searched for him i searched for him i guess 0.95

01:31:07.740 he deleted his twitter yeah i wonder if he's okay i hope he's all right no problem 0.99

01:31:12.780 the ar guy magnus i don't know oh yeah maybe yeah magnus i think i think i saw his i think he's back

01:31:21.320 on twitter he's back on twitter he's not like i don't know he's kind of a boy all you're on twitter

01:31:26.940 right now is dennis dennis been killing it shout out to dennis i believe uh magnus uh blocked me for 0.95

01:31:32.400 calling garrett foster a faggot even though i'm very sensitive about that so honestly why would you 1.00

01:31:38.180 call him fucks about the garrett foster shit i don't even know who that is because why would you 1.00

01:31:42.620 call him it yeah anybody doesn't like it yeah you what you okay all right whatever i don't care one 1.00

01:31:50.140 way the other because he was in the wrong clint i do i do like that dude and he's become a martyr

01:31:56.100 for the progressive left whose decision was it to let him on are you talking about a martyr for the 0.94

01:32:01.640 progressive all right we're not doing serious shit here you're right we're going you guys let you 0.94

01:32:06.520 guys let magnus on with shoe on head i i don't find magnus funny at all that was a strange one 0.97

01:32:10.980 no it was terrible fucking bringing on a dozen people i've explained myself many times it already 0.98

01:32:17.420 had gone to shit it became this gang up thing against shoe which was weird and gay so i was 0.99

01:32:22.520 like you know what i'll give her a lefty you know whatever we're already in a shit show that way it's 1.00

01:32:26.600 at least she doesn't come off like what the fuck they just all gang upped on me so yeah i wish i could 0.99

01:32:32.480 go because uh i've been telling you like i told you a little bit about like my uh my sex life lately 0.99

01:32:39.580 has been oh yeah go go into graphic detail go ahead i can't go to graphic no

01:32:44.540 i wish i could go because that was it's been i don't know i asked jose and top i was like is

01:32:53.980 did after your wife's gave birth did like did your like sex life like shoot up

01:32:58.680 is this thing said no then love no okay what i said what i told you is and i actually this is

01:33:06.500 legit like the entire throw my marriage like i feel like the quality overall the trend i mean there's 0.97

01:33:12.180 like ebbs and flows so far as quality of the pussy but it's it's always maintaining an upper 1.00

01:33:17.520 there's a trend line you have a trend line going up of it getting better like you know what that is 0.79

01:33:22.740 good it's like right real quick the frequency has like basically stayed like here sometimes dip

01:33:30.420 down just come back up like it's it's not it's not increased frequency wise he thinks the quality

01:33:36.280 is getting better but really what it is it's like the rising fastball you ever you remember roger

01:33:39.880 clemens they're like oh he's throwing a rising fastball it was never a rising fastball it appeared

01:33:44.680 that way no rising fastballs yeah don't exist yes his hand came down faster and the tv made it look

01:33:49.940 like it's rising up there's no it's not rising up it's an it's just like uh that defies physics 0.94

01:33:55.100 yes today i learned that top lobster believes in gravity what a fucking room i was i was dating 0.96

01:34:01.400 elizabeth when i was my 40th in college 18 to fucking 21 years old and i thought i was having like 0.97

01:34:08.400 amazing sex back then i've never had more tense like sexual experiences i need more details

01:34:14.520 more details in the chat in the roma in the room randomly cole cole will just say in the chat 0.99

01:34:21.260 i've been really into eating pussy lately and that's like like good morning like 1.00

01:34:26.560 that's that's the new yeah gm so and and and you know why right it's because you are built like a 1.00

01:34:33.900 fucking god yeah that's exactly why that's why you're sexist 0.99

01:34:36.960 i'd be like you know i think you want to have sex anymore now because i look better 0.99

01:34:43.100 and she has to be like no because i mean at the same time like if i imagine you said that to your 0.99

01:34:47.900 girl and like she randomly got fit and then you she was like you want to fuck me now because i look 1.00

01:34:53.620 better you could be like oh yeah totally like you gotta get out of shape again to figure it out 0.99

01:34:58.680 because i've oh that's true i've been in all different shapes throughout my marriage and it

01:35:03.520 had i feel like it's had no effect and it's annoying too because there'll be times where i

01:35:07.940 kind of let myself go my wife would be like oh i miss when you're like a six pack and you look 1.00

01:35:11.800 all like sexy and i'm like well why would i give up like you doing this and trying to be like oh 0.99

01:35:16.180 that's so hot it's like i don't give a fuck it makes no difference in my marriage i get like 0.99

01:35:21.060 like so far as you're trying to like flirt with me to try to egg it on to try to be like you 0.99

01:35:25.020 should get back in shape like that you're like doesn't work i know i get the same amount of 0.98

01:35:27.660 pussy either way like if i'm gonna get in shape it's because i want to get in shape not because 0.99

01:35:31.100 i'm like here's what you gotta do jose is wrong though you gotta no i think it's legit my wife 0.99

01:35:37.200 like deep down side shouldn't give a fuck you gotta take your wife to jamaica okay and you gotta do an 0.97

01:35:42.580 excursion where you both of you guys think that maybe you're not gonna live that's the like you 0.99

01:35:47.820 really want to spice things up yeah you gotta do some life or death shit and that's it right there 0.99

01:35:53.420 that's why i suggest everybody go to jamaica it's the worst place in the world 0.98

01:35:56.440 that's that's that's why i gave myself a stroke but it still didn't work here's the thing no no

01:36:00.180 no it is hormones here no here's the thing no it's the way you look a hundred percent it has

01:36:04.720 nothing to do with i agree you sir are a hormone right yes i was gonna go there with this because

01:36:11.200 it is hormones but she has the wrong it's not because of birth control it's because i'm putting 0.98

01:36:15.020 off more testosterone now i have a higher testosterone bingo motherfucker and it's like that weird 0.99

01:36:20.120 thing like where i don't know man top you tell me you've probably been in multiple different 0.98

01:36:24.200 shapes throughout your marriage have you found your physique really makes much of a difference 0.91

01:36:28.520 in how much ass you get no not the frequency but you definitely feel like i think something 0.85

01:36:33.700 subconsciously in your head yeah in that way yeah this is i can't relate to this because i have never 0.98

01:36:38.860 been in a relationship and i'm not exaggerating never been in a relationship where i wanted to have

01:36:42.420 sex more than the girl i was with you guys really deal with that oh wait what yes you've never been

01:36:48.940 married is what you're saying wait what i've been in five-year relationships twice and you and the

01:36:54.620 girl was always hornier than you were no way yeah that so the first five-year relationship that girl 1.00

01:36:59.400 cheated on you with your friend what happened with the second five-year relationship you need more

01:37:04.440 that one ended amicably yeah i was gonna say i was like uh clint i think your libido is low because 0.99

01:37:08.920 you're low test man how often are you guys fucking uh wait how often currently or just like how 1.00

01:37:16.380 often would we like to fuck is that what you're saying like what i would fuck every day yeah uh 1.00

01:37:24.200 i don't know i used to when i was younger and like mid to early 20s every day now it's like every 0.99

01:37:28.620 day to every other day if i was able to get like anytime i wanted because there are times where 0.52

01:37:32.700 like dude i just don't i don't want to fuck that's that's more often than what i thought 0.99

01:37:35.660 i was gonna say i'm gonna go to bed you're actually having sex every other day no i'm not i'm 1.00

01:37:40.480 saying like that's well then tell me how much motherfuck it really varies yes it could be like 0.99

01:37:46.140 three times a week it could be once a week it really it yeah yeah it's also like yeah that's 0.99

01:37:51.240 true that's a great one to three times a week is probably yeah i think when you're tired it's the one

01:37:55.600 when you're when you have kids too and you're tired it's like it's a whole it's like like jose

01:37:59.960 was saying like i do it every day but it's like i put put the kids to sleep and after they just like

01:38:04.260 really bring you to the edge of murder you just get lay in the bed and i look at my wife she looks at me

01:38:09.060 and we're just like yeah just let's just put on some nonsense show we watch knife or death

01:38:12.840 with bill goldberg yeah i don't have a tv in my room so that's uh gotta there's no other 0.99

01:38:18.560 entertainment out there there you go tv in the room got me more pussy when we were actually watching 1.00

01:38:24.000 tv more we used to have a tv in our room our room now just doesn't have like it's not a good 0.68

01:38:29.240 we have a tv in the room but we never use it cole doesn't have electricity do you turn it on now 1.00

01:38:33.720 because you're a spartan do you turn you turn the tv on when you're when you're about to get

01:38:38.840 busy yeah like no i don't i don't ever i don't ever i i used to not have a tv in my room because

01:38:46.440 i'm renting i have a tv in my room right now but i like sometimes i do and then it's like the show 0.79

01:38:50.840 might be like like like like distracting it's weird like i gotta find the right show to fuck to 0.76

01:38:56.380 like you're trying to fuck this line show like seinfeld it's kind of interesting i think there's 0.94

01:39:04.060 a meme it's like whatever like you got netflix chill but the show's kind of interesting it's 0.97

01:39:07.660 like a guy like cooking around like the girls on top of me he's like oh okay like yeah yeah like we

01:39:14.000 were like binge watching ink master and then like like like you know we're like all right yeah let's do

01:39:18.160 but then something came on and we're like oh we kind of want to see that tattoo real quick

01:39:21.860 and we're going to stop for like three minutes watch the show not a good look hey let's let's uh

01:39:27.120 let's get out of here on on one video because we've got 1000 videos that we have we have a ton 0.53

01:39:31.480 of shit whatever we want to talk about pick the best one i don't know most of it's not videos 0.80

01:39:35.400 dealer's choice let's go all right let's go barby oh yeah all right just play it just play it just 0.99

01:39:40.080 play it this is it kayla this is the moment let's see this is the new barbie fashionista

01:39:46.140 it looks just like a barbie like a like a not even overweight barbie like a normal this looks

01:40:01.320 like a normal chick looks like a generic seven seven maybe six yeah you you no one has ever seen 1.00

01:40:06.780 a downs person that looks this good no no the only thing that says downs is it had the little feet

01:40:12.080 things they're like no no no listen listen to how they describe it it's hilarious

01:40:15.620 i'm 100 downs yo yo listen listen to what they say about it though it's funny

01:40:22.400 play it what were some of the things you thought about when designing this absolutely so you'll see

01:40:28.900 the the barbie doll itself is a little bit shorter in stature which is typical for people with down

01:40:33.700 syndrome has smaller features you see the almond shaped eyes you see the bridge of the nose

01:40:38.560 there is also a crease in the palm kayla you want to share a few others there's a crease in the palm

01:40:43.060 absolutely so let's start with her necklace there's three 0.96

01:40:47.940 stops on the vagina just like put her in leg braces yeah that's the thing that's the only thing i think 1.00

01:40:55.680 three arrows with three extra chromosomes lucky for you idea i just had a great idea um we should do a 0.99

01:41:13.920 cameo and get this girl to like just say some vile shit about our gang i love her accent oh my god i 1.00

01:41:20.600 wanted to just like say some like race realism like small essay like speech type thing you know 0.96

01:41:25.560 i like i like how they're going into like great detail jamaicans are subhuman and i have three 0.57

01:41:30.980 extra chromosomes and i have still a higher iq than the average jamaican you know what i noticed what

01:41:38.280 else i noticed about jamaican people they're all in incredible shape they're like six feet tall 0.99

01:41:41.880 six pack but when you look at them in the eyes they look like fucking vampires because their eyes are 0.99

01:41:46.640 yellow right and my wife was like oh they're yellow because their liver is failing and i just 0.98

01:41:51.140 think it's so hilarious god god created like this like he's like yeah i'm gonna give you like huge 0.99

01:41:56.480 dick you're gonna be six and a half feet tall you're gonna be shredded you can dance like out the box they 1.00

01:42:02.240 could dance like michael jackson he's like but you're gonna die at 30 your liver but your liver sucks 0.99

01:42:09.280 i will actually i wanted to make this point because when i was on the cruise uh i just want to make this 0.99

01:42:13.940 point to demonstrate that i'm not racist the men on the cruise very attractive the women fucking 0.99

01:42:19.420 disgusting oh yeah there is a rule it's like a two to one rule where like not like two women to one 0.99

01:42:26.000 men but like every black man their woman is like twice their size and i always wonder how it works 1.00

01:42:31.940 they're like way bigger than them like in the animal kingdom that's what's so confusing to me is like 0.91

01:42:36.520 that's appealing to a lot of black men and it's the same it's the same phenotype that jose and toad

01:42:43.080 allegedly toad are attracted to and for the life of me i can't wrap my head around you're describing 0.99

01:42:47.800 two different things here you're talking about fucking a lizzo and i'm talking about some thick 1.00

01:42:52.180 bitch those are like you you have never seen a woman aside from lizzo that you've been like 1.00

01:42:57.460 too big i'm sorry but i think jose still would a lizzo i think i would not with lizzo i i cannot even 0.99

01:43:04.380 imagine hypothetical in which i would i just think i just think it's insane that we're supposed to be 0.99

01:43:08.200 like talking about this downs barbie thing and top is so racist he's like no fuck jamaica fuck 0.99

01:43:13.160 black people all right guys let's get the fuck out of here yeah does does uh downs barbie uh come 1.00

01:43:19.160 with a dream house that has a personal caretaker in it oh god he he wrote that one he just really 0.99

01:43:25.320 wanted to get the key get it in there good for you toad just a uh defective batch and they were

01:43:33.920 just like what's going on with clint's mind go ahead oh can you hear me yeah oh i said i will

01:43:41.960 have a veck ramaswamy on liberty liberty lockdown next week do not miss it i will also be in austin

01:43:47.340 this weekend uh with mosh ray scott horton jose the redhead libertarian and a bunch of other

01:43:52.420 people angela it's gonna be fun check it out thanks all right yeah i have the no way jose show

01:43:57.080 you can find me on youtube all the major odd pockets i'll see as well i've done a couple

01:44:00.640 cool little like geeky things recently i had steve vassar who was a john doe 2 eyewitness he was a

01:44:05.920 close friend of yiki and he was also one of the first responders local home of the city bombing i

01:44:09.340 interviewed him with ken silva journalist uh it was you know a lot of new stuff he's only been used as a 0.75

01:44:14.480 source once before it's cool stuff highly suggest you guys go check it out uh if fucking uh if sam 0.95

01:44:20.680 triple e's booker ever gets back to me i think that's supposed to be happening uh but uh yeah

01:44:25.140 uh you know keep an eye out for my show hopefully we get some cool stuff going here soon uh just got

01:44:30.300 off the phone before this was an interesting individual i'm not gonna say who i'll tell you

01:44:34.100 guys after but yeah definitely go follow me on twitter at tower gang jose nice top lobster follow

01:44:40.360 me at top lobster d-o-t-c-o-m because i'm suspended um top lobster.com uh merch engine.com

01:44:48.700 and i'll be starting a podcast soon maybe i don't know that's it uh fat comic dave on twitter 0.99

01:44:55.420 um i just need to piss and i uh suck titty during sex though yeah dog 0.99

01:45:00.680 yeah who doesn't besides me you yeah yeah oh but i but i would tower gang toad on twitter uh 0.99

01:45:09.360 tower gang pod everywhere sign up for the patreon patreon.com slash tower gang pod if you want us to

01:45:14.780 read your mailbag tower gang pod on youtube and wherever else tower gang pod.com as well for the 0.98

01:45:21.840 link tree all right all right take us out all right i gotta go love you idiot don't leave 1.00

01:45:30.660 oh all right play it's the tower power hour slut tower power hour bitch no way jose liberty 1.00

01:45:39.880 lock down to the tower power hour bitch reed cole top lobster and toad tower gang tower gang tower gang 1.00

01:45:51.700 tower gang tower gang tower gang tower gang tower gang liberty lock is truth say same with lobster 0.97

01:45:57.160 cole and jose toad is sick no way jose the tower power hour slug they made day spent all his tower

01:46:03.980 gang tower gang tower gang tower gang tower gang tower gang tower gang tower gang tower gang they speak

01:46:10.740 courage you sped more than rogan you fed you fed truth bomb weather tim cast hotel hotel more

01:46:16.960 offensive los no disrespect more offensive than ls no disrespect redhead libertarian is their best

01:46:23.720 friend unless they get raided then they never met never met none of this should be new to me 0.52

01:46:28.240 truly clint is a sexual brute to me sorry no booster seat get them tall boots on you not a mission 0.99

01:46:32.780 fuck every podcast that won't stoop to me libertarian won't be the same day revolutiony that's a word 0.99

01:46:37.740 i miss grammar and send it to rhyme dubitedly that to promote myself on their shine stupidly comedy 0.99

01:46:43.080 philosophy mark ram.com user free random i'm single lady so please choose a meet they scream tower gang

01:46:49.260 worldwide tower gang rise together we will overthrow tower gang tower gang tower gang tower gang tower gang

01:46:55.780 liberty lock is truth say same with lobster cole and jose told his signal way jose if you read i meet

01:47:05.200 jose with jose may may dates with all his fame table gang tower gang tower gang tower gang tower gang

01:47:11.800 Taboo gang, taboo gang, taboo gang, taboo gang, taboo gang, taboo gang

01:47:16.720 Taboo gang, taboo gang, taboo gang 0.94

01:47:19.280 It's so fucking hard to line up the syllables in all of it 0.98

Tower Gang - April 27, 2023

Ep 120 - Carnies of the Caribbean

Episode Stats

Summary

Transcript