Ep 124 - That Pussy Spittin'
Episode Stats
Length
1 hour and 46 minutes
Words per minute
194.57854
Harmful content
Misogyny
146
sentences flagged
Toxicity
608
sentences flagged
Hate speech
329
sentences flagged
Summary
In honor of our 100th episode, we salute the flag and sing the National Anthem at a baseball game. Also, we talk about the MLB s new policy regarding the gay and transgenders section of the locker room.
Transcript
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What's up retards. I'm trying to start a cult here, baby, so I can only fit a third of my dick into Toad's
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You want to kill me or you want to give me a boner? I don't know.
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When I say fuck the Jews, it means I'm horny.
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Any of you guys ever had the mythical where they put the whole thing in and then do that shit where they go,
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The three of you had a threesome of some kind.
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She was a 10 in real life. She's like a dead 8.
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It's not what this show is about. This shit is retarded.
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It's Wednesday, May 24th, and you know what that means.
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It's time for another Motherfucker Gang, bitch!
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This is Clint Russell, host of Liberty Lockdown.
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We got Toplopsta, the proprietor of Toplopsta.com.
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And in honor of our very special evening, our 100th episode, I have no idea how many episodes we've done.
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I think we should start this off with the National Anthem.
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We don't demonstrate our patriotic side very often, so let's go ahead.
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We do this once a week, and we've done this 124 times.
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Yeah, everybody knows episode 124 is customary to salute the flag.
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Yeah, please, silence for the National Anthem. Thank you.
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You gotta wait for the music to sound, you retard.
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It's like you guys weren't even in the military.
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We need sounds. We need sounds. We need sounds.
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Alright, just play it now. I've lost all of interest.
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america fuck yeah oh man no military bearing there i didn't realize uh gary busey's son had
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downs yeah if he recorded that and played it backward in a spooky house it would sound the
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same exact way i just want to say it's been a dream of mine to uh sing the national anthem at a uh at a
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baseball game and i'm just glad i was finally able to realize that uh that's not like fucking
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ghosts like if you heard if you didn't you heard that like in your house you'd be like
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this motherfucker haunted the best part about this is i didn't realize so i sent it um
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to the group because i thought it was hilarious yeah i thought it was hilarious and i didn't
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realize until i went back to it this was posted by the actual baseball team this i thought when i
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first saw i thought it was a meme page that just posted it as like it's just funny scene it's
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hilarious i thought it was one of our five patreon supporters i'm stunned that it was
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i just saw it like so all the little like amazing things that was put on by the teams like so they
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actually like filmed this put it on their own social media and it was like yeah it's so smart
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it's so smart because you know that shit's gonna go viral but it's like you're not laughing at him
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you're just using the fact that it's funny as you know that baseball teams like their esg section was
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like we have to be more inclusive so they added they were like to who they're like you know the
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fucking retards and so they're like oh this is great this is we made trains with those reasons
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that's actually really smart because everyone is so everybody it's so polarized with every other
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fucking categorization of people but not with the tards we all love that this is literally
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this is how you bend esg to your will instead of like going to the gays and trannies and fags and
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all them just go down everybody loves downs people no one gonna get upset you target put
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out like a bunch of downs clothes instead do like uh i'm around to be down i'm down for downs
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you attract the audience of people like us they're like
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and then you attract the other audience of like oh my god look at them bless their heart
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it's perfect and you're getting your esg score the same and your esg score has to go up i mean
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like you guys sent that to me but then my grandma could also send it to me and be like how inspiring
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is this yes exactly perfect messaging honestly i what the the great thing too is uh target we've
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already we're starting a roster of uh downs people that we're going to get to a live audience
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this is the whole reason we have the downs cooks we have the downs trans uh dancers and now we have
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uh uh the music uh the national anthem for start to show off yeah we need to tell the audience about
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the love connection we made uh it's only me and top or top and clint they would know about it uh
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because you guys weren't there no no cole would know and they would well cole would know but he
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wasn't there uh on uh saturday so but like we're talking about do you remember the wheelchair guy
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oh i heard yeah i heard it the buff wheelchair guy yeah yeah yeah yeah oh you remember the hot
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chick the random hot chick that showed up too just the one hot chick and you're like what the fuck
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like what where'd she come from not robbie no one just like they showed up at which
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like and she's like just really pretty and just a good like a good and just ran it by herself that
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was the weirdest part she's just by herself like a year and a half ago i i don't remember that so
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yeah yeah it was like a year and a half ago and that uh that video still getting kind of come out
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swear to god it's just uh it's on the eddie cutting room floor no you know what that'll be
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it's like a that's like a uh a time capsule to our origin story that we can release it on like
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our 10th anniversary it'd be great yeah that's cool but anyways uh we caught them together uh those
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and it seemed i mean they both were like oh it's none of them but like let's be real we got the vibes
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like yeah we caught and it made me think it was like interracial couple dating you know they're
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like ashamed of it but it was weird i saw that i'm just like my first thought is like because he's a
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cripple and he's a great guy but i'm like what is this hot chick want with him and then i started
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thinking about it and then i realized i think that he's kind of hot dudes in wheelchairs it's the same
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effect as chicks with tattoos if you're an ugly chick and you get a tattoo you're uglier if you're a hot
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chick and you get tattoos it'll make you hotter or about the same now when it comes to wheelchairs
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i think the same thing applies to dudes if you're an ugly dude you're like gross like i don't want
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to date that yeah but now if you're a hot dude you're right and you get it it's like dude look
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at this hot guy in a wheelchair like you're inspiring and sexy like you know and it's like and you know
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his tongue game is on oh yeah oh yeah for real and you can you can make that dick hard anytime you
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like i guess that's just like any regular man but like you can also see it because it's like
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there's no you can't hide it when your your legs can't move so it's just immediate just
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straight up i mean oh my god i like to imagine he's a huge fucking dick and it's just like so
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it looks like but he can't use his legs so it's just like here you go it's always it's always the
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guy with the skinny legs that have the big old dicks so i mean if you if you're crippled i mean
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all that atrophy i think that's an absolute illusion your dick gets bigger yeah yeah your dick
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actually ends up being wider than your legs all the meat goes from your legs to your dick
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how much of your uh how much of your lower extremities like you can be like below the
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knee i can't move it like below like how much of that would you give up for like a couple inches
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on your penis oh like how much function of my body yeah yeah yeah
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i'll be like i can't maybe like a pinky finger movement or something
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i feel like this is doable depending on where it's starting from is this i'm saying i'm saying it
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starts at your feet so it starts going up it starts at the feet and goes up so it'd be like
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i can't move my feet that sounds like literal fucking torture for what
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how many paralyzed toes equals one inch right that's that's the question yeah the conversion
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rate matters but even then a tenth of an inch per toe so you get one inch oh my god i have to
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have all of my toes all your toes that just means you can't move your toes you're just toes can't
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do you know how clumsy you're with useless toes imagine trying to walk with no muscular control of
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your toes that's an extra inch just for some like special like some special shoes and you get an
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extra dick link like an inch of dick link for some special who feels their toes like can you feel
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your toes right now but you wouldn't be able to move them top you can't balance like with your toes
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and you're like i do that all the time i'm like a monkey you balance with your toes bro trust me are
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you telling me you can give up like both of your pinky toes for like two tenths of an inch come on
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who wouldn't do that my pinky toes are already in capacity that's why your balance so it's like
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like you just have like this big old dick but like you just can't stand up that's a whole i mean
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um i would absolutely double my like dick length for two pinky toes i mean come on who wouldn't
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uh is it pinky toes that are not even like work so apparently i think they do i'd rather lose the
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pinky toe entirely than to like lose the function in it because i feel like it'd be like feel like
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it was asleep probably or it'd be i don't know i just i take two inches and below your knees you
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can't like feel at all i know absolutely no no no no it sounds awful so it's like it's like you have
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uh prosthetic legs but they're still there like they're still like it's they look you look normal
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oh i gotta be blade runner yeah but but but like you know the little like ting ting motherfuckers
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your legs jose you mean the uh the south african uh runner that doesn't have legs who murdered his
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girlfriend that guy i have a better story i have a better idea you can get two inches on your dick
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but once a day at random you just get fucking hammered in your funny bone hammered in your funny
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in your in your elbow now i just really don't have that desire for a bigger dick i mean i don't
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like that cringe but once a day you just that sounds god awful do you think jose has given up sex
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honestly i don't know i've been married for 10 years as as the only man on this podcast whose uh
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dick can reach his belly button uh i would not do any of this that's because you're fucking
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on the rack so it's like an inch away we hate you i don't know i don't understand the desire for a
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bigger dick that much i guess oh i very much want a bigger dick but i like my dick i would love for
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it to be two inches longer that'd be hilarious but at what price you think lieutenant dan got better
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looking after he was in the wheelchair no no because he became an alcoholic gary sinise is
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an ugly bastard yeah yeah oh that's not attractive man i feel like that's a hot take right there
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no it depends there's movies where you're like all right you're kind of steadily but he has that
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like white trash look to him and kind of greasy like he's just like easily and greasy i like the
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idea of jose and his wife of jose going to a movie and discussing like like jose really discussing
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like the the handsome ability of some of the the lead roles yeah well see i i think where jose's uh
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like wheelchair theory kind of starts falling apart is if you start applying it to homeless people
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no but he's saying if you're a hot homeless dude in a wheelchair i mean i think you might be able to
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pull some pussy no although i don't think that thing exists technically because i just started
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watching uh it's always sunny and there was a whole episode about uh dudes in wheelchairs getting
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way more pussy than dudes not in wheelchairs yeah so this is a phenomenon that that is known
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this is why i don't know if it was like it's guys guys makes you hotter adaptive this is why black
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people got the week next because they know that like pussy's even more easy to attain man this is
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crazy i don't think that logic follows i don't know it's like a wheelchair disgust and stunningly
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it doesn't make you more attractive i'm gonna i'm gonna i'm gonna body looks like it should be in a
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wheelchair i'm gonna get an actual dude totally so fucked if he was in a wheelchair you may as well
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just commit seppuku at that point like that gets game over you're not you're there there's no pussy
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at what at what weight do you think you start using one of those fucking people movers like
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you know i'm talking about like the the fat people in target and in walmart oh yeah oh like a like a
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mobility scooter yeah yeah yeah yeah like when do you just give up and start like two and a half bills
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i actually think the bullying's paying off he looks like he's slimming up a little bit yeah you have to
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no no no no no no we need to talk about this i have been really hard on him lately because he's not
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sleeping he's not sleeping and he is he listen this is for the just like this is to get toad i have
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threatened toad to kick him off the podcast for oh yeah if he doesn't sleep because what he's doing
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is he's taking nyquil and then he's offsetting it with extreme caffeine use yeah it's like doing drugs
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without being cool and doing drugs i am and well and the nyquil uh like like the other night like
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sunday night it like completely shredded my insides like i woke up in the middle of the night because
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it was so painful and i thought i was gonna have to go to the er or something i'm like this is uh
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why are you taking nyquil and massive amounts of caffeine like i have a lot of problems
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no i know but why are you doing that though because they like i hate myself
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it makes no sense you got nothing else to do go to sleep i don't get it that's the thing it's like
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i'm like get eight hours it's not hard to get eight hours you are literally the person with the least
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amount of responsibility here no no i was literally 10 o'clock to six o'clock i mean no i guess clint
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no i was out until 2 a.m on sunday well you got bitches to care for clint so he doesn't because i went
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i went to a blink 182 concert and my commute home took like two and a half hours
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and and actually no actually this was uh two days before that i went i went to the celtics game two
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days before that and had a similar commute and a guy fell asleep i didn't want to bring this up i
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didn't want to bring this up but uh the two games that you went to for the celtics they look like
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absolute dog shit and i think you're a curse i went to three i went to three and one was their
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best playoff game he was playing with ouija board yeah he's playing with ouija board he released all
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the demons into the uh and he it's it's basically like the um like man it's like man what top you're
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frozen for me top what is going on no the first the first game that i went to was like their best
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playoff game maybe ever and then uh the other two they lost but i i'm seriously i i really want you
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to go to fucking sleep like it's it's bothering me yeah like i mean because and then because the
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problem is you come in and you complain about the all the ailments you have and every time we say
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go to fucking sleep and work out and you go okay okay and then i'm just like shut the fuck up man
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like he's not he's not interested in in fixing anything he just he just likes to like and he
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comes back and then inform us no no stop complaining about it if you don't fix it but that's the whole
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thrill he loves to bitch about it yes he's like literally like everyone's ailing grandma that likes
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the attention that she's dying he's he's the mom and sopranos pay attention to me listen to all my
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he's like he's like every he's he's every jewish chick in a bagel shop in new york city
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that's what toad is i uh oh the goida oh i i i i got a lot you who you fucking is
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i mean i you gotta sympathize with my goida
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clint no you know in 2017 i got a lot healthier i was way worse i was like 200 pounds basically at
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five six i love it for a second 45 pounds about to slip into his his boston like alter ego and he's
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like nope don't do it thank you toad but go on uh i mean it's it's hard not to
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he talks about hearing his toaster talk and his fucking it's it's my my wall my wall does have
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like this weird like static like radio like thing where i can hear like voices and music
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do you think that you're schizophrenic because that'd be fucking rad don't the wild thing is
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once you start digging into like parapolitics and a lot of the crazy shooters and stuff like
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the mcveys or or the guy who shot like elton like not elton john but uh the faggot with yoko ono
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uh john lennon john lennon yeah like once you start digging like some of is there are a lot of them
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that make have their weird allusions to hearing things like that and like but swearing no i'm saying
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it's like and but there's always weird government things in there too you're like people almost the
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illusion that like uh that they are there is some sort of device to where maybe they are able to
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people like that and they call them like uh extra low frequency uh vibration like it's a whole
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fucking conspiracy hold on do you think like whenever uh toad does get arrested for this and
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there's like they show him he just shot um i don't know fetterman or something like that
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because he finally snapped do you think they'll actually pull a clip from this show to for the uh
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for the headshot it's just here he's clearly expressing rampant mental illness and they're
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no it'd be amazing if he if he commits some sort of mass shooting which by the way i think he's
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like odds on favorite amongst us to do anything crazy like that but if they were to pull the clip
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of him going and they were having sex and i was jerking off and then we all bust out laughing
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and they showed that a thousand times on tv oh my god they could totally craft the narrative of
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like we were what broke him and like what fostered a psychosis and look at the at the what the right
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wing is doing and how like they are perverting the the innocent normal guy to fucking mass killer
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pipeline or whatever yeah yeah it'd be a dream come true you realize how famous we would be
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yeah i mean i can already see the fucking reporter fucking nutting himself ever writing this
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i think i think that's like the best we can hope for for toad's future is that he ends up in prison
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for the rest of his life and we end up being the most popular comedy podcast on the planet
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i'll do it he calls in for prison for legal reasons that's a joke but
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it's probably true all right so i have a really good idea but i want to i want to talk to be back
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here before i start it all right so let me give you the premise so i was thinking about it right
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and there's like a lot of angles that are really fucking boring when it comes to the alliance between
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corporations and the government but there's a really fun one okay let's try and and spitball
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pitches from i'm sorry i i gotta i gotta address i love our producers getting fancy just like
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trying the different different shots i'm trying to get professional with it i like i like the solo
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shots all right so the idea is solo shots that's what i do every night i was about i was going to
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make a cum shot uh joke and then i was like i'll let toe do it instead you know what he executed
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well i was like i thought about it and i was like nah i'm gonna let him go it's good you let him
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experience what a good i'm having a lot of issues here i think you guys are better yeah yeah yeah we
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can hear you bro yeah okay you're good man all right so so top here's my idea right so there's
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going to be a moment if if we prevail where like esg dies and and the big corpos that have gone woke
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start to try and make amends with their customer base because i don't know blackrock goes belly up or
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something like that so i was thinking i don't think target's ever gonna like there's no fun way of
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like reversing target's course but there's already mentioned it the downs thing that's already that
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no that's good that's good but i was thinking we can we can pitch uh ad campaign ideas for bud
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light to try and claw back the alt right that used to be their their customer base you guys think
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by the way target already is apologizing oh they've already removed yeah they already removed
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everything they're like we're sorry we'll remove the i don't i don't understand children's what was
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what was the pushback i didn't even see what the target thing was that they were selling like trans
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and queer uh i know but what kind of pushback swimsuits for children i think people would just
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online for just it's just yeah it's just social media influencers saying that they're gonna protest
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it was alex stein actually specifically he went to a target and uh and wore one and basically was
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like showing his dick and was like look at the talk yeah i think for some reason that was a
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different one to because they were arguing about um the for some reason like that target is now
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selling or i don't know if it's now selling or has always sold uh bikinis that have like an extra
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like piece of fabric to where what the conservatives are saying that the men put their penis into
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to tuck it yeah but the women were always like there's always been that piece of fabric in there
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yeah which is news to me i guess like women i guess yeah like there's uh what's that fabric for
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anyway they it's for discharge discharge and shit like that no what's discharge why is it like a
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pocket is it no it's for you guys so they can just randomly fly out of like a little basically no
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like literally that's a self-cleaning thing so it is kind of sort of always oozing so it'll just
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spit uh that's just spit pussy's basically a drooling retard hey bitch that yo pussy's spitting
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right now i'd be drooling baby no they uh yeah it's called douching actually but uh
1.00
00:23:33.480
what are you talking about i thought i thought that the um yeah i thought that pussy spittle we can call
1.00
00:23:40.400
that i i thought i thought that uh what was really going on was that's all that pussy's not
0.99
00:23:44.900
some of these swimsuits actually uh actually are designed for boogers
1.00
00:23:49.840
no they're designed for women who have like huge meat curtains to like tuck them into it i'm pretty
1.00
00:23:55.940
sure that that's like a phenomenon so do you think this guy knows what's a snail trail protector
00:24:01.020
yeah that's right do you think cookies grows two-toed is that why you're not i love how
00:24:07.820
clint didn't even like wasn't picking up what you're putting down but it's like you haven't
00:24:12.740
been it's just like i don't know if you just haven't been a long-term relationship enough
1.00
00:24:15.480
to even just understand a vagina that way other than putting your penis in it
1.00
00:24:18.560
my women just respect me enough not to fucking tell me about their pussy spit oh guys listen okay
1.00
00:24:30.260
i i'm gonna tell this story about my house that we've been asking clint let me tell you about my
1.00
00:24:35.180
pussy no we should bring it up go ahead go ahead oh yeah yeah bring it up bring it up yeah yeah so
1.00
00:24:43.280
at top lobster i don't even know if we said this on here top lobster ranch oh we're talking about
0.99
00:24:47.640
oh we're gonna do this story oh all right all right if i want that there's a crazy person involved
00:24:54.800
i didn't even know about this until after drop it on i i feel like i shouldn't but i
00:25:01.020
funny clint's like go for it and i'm like i mean i don't even know why it's a big deal just go for
00:25:07.760
it okay i think it's it's funny okay so all the guys are sleeping in my house some people are sleeping
00:25:12.840
in rooms some people sleep in different places reed was sleeping with toad again it's gross
00:25:16.840
no i was uh i was down actually you're right i was downstairs it doesn't matter
0.98
00:25:20.660
yeah with reed and keep the story moving shut up you are irrelevant
0.72
00:25:24.680
i know i am so like after everybody left me and my wife go we clean up the rooms
0.94
00:25:30.900
all this and we deflate the airbed we take the sheets off and my wife notices that there's like
0.82
00:25:39.320
panties and she's like but like they're real small so she's like did clint's girlfriend leave
0.99
00:25:46.400
his pants i feel like i shouldn't tell the story no you're already in it now you're already in it
1.00
00:25:51.280
now like you're already you can just stop it fuck the audience who cares women are the worst i don't
1.00
00:25:56.820
want to deal with their craziness and i feel like we may experience anyway there's no crazy i got up to
0.99
00:26:02.180
this point you spent all the time with that one woman involved the story you're gonna tell me there's
00:26:06.120
no crazy there are you there's no crazy in this story there's no crazy in this story so so hold on
00:26:12.280
the story she's crazy it relates to what we were just talking about because the panties that we
1.00
00:26:17.540
found had a little bit of that that pussy drip that pussy drip yeah there's a little bit more than
1.00
00:26:23.460
that on there it's a spittle it's to be like can't be my bitch that pussy don't ooze
1.00
00:26:27.420
had you had you have told me that i would have told you that ain't mine yeah
1.00
00:26:33.900
a little bit a little bit of a skid mark there my girls ain't spitting i only date chicks with
1.00
00:26:41.340
non-drooling pussy what a fucking weird thing so you're telling me that you all all right so
1.00
00:26:47.620
one i have heard of the term this is clueless as you if not more so i have heard of the term
1.00
00:26:53.660
discharge i just don't know what the fuck you're talking about does it actually like
0.94
00:26:59.440
i can imagine i can imagine it dribbling a little bit i can't i can't imagine discharge
00:27:09.600
discharge is like what a firearm does and i don't understand the language the language
0.99
00:27:13.700
throws me off it's whenever they sneeze it just shoots out like a fucking rocket
0.98
00:27:17.460
yeah like a snot rocket yeah okay what a discharge just means something that comes
0.98
00:27:23.960
out it doesn't it doesn't have any reflect at all on the on the uh force with which it comes
00:27:29.800
out it discharges it's like a little bit of uh like an
00:27:32.480
come on man that was a little rough i just feel yeah i feel like don't don't don't talk about this
0.97
00:27:40.160
hope everybody else make you weird and brutal when you're when you're fucking well i mean
0.98
00:27:44.240
it's fucked up i guess i'm trying to think if i've ever had any type of
1.00
00:27:49.100
discharge from my penis that i've ever been like i guess it's i had a urinary tract infection once and
0.99
00:27:55.000
i thought i had syphilis i had chlamydia and luckily i got rid of before it started using or no
0.90
00:28:00.780
chlamydia that's what i thought i had because i i looked it up online and i was like i was like oh
0.99
00:28:05.920
fuck like there's shit dripping out of my dick and then i went to the hospital or i went to my doctor
1.00
00:28:09.620
and he's like oh no you just have a uti i was like dudes can get utis in our dick shaft
1.00
00:28:14.140
did i ever tell you my chlamydia story i mean me and my best or my at the time one of my best buddies
1.00
00:28:21.240
we both fucked the same chick but he fucked her like a couple weeks before i did and um and he
1.00
00:28:30.640
he started getting the dick oozing uh but i just like my the inside of my dick hole started it so i
1.00
00:28:36.780
like like so i was like that's weird like i didn't really but it was like not the point
1.00
00:28:41.440
where it like flagged it for me and he came to me he's like yo do you fuck this chick and i'm like
1.00
00:28:45.780
yeah he's like yo my dick just oozed there's pus coming out my dick hole and i was like uh well my
1.00
00:28:52.020
dick hole itches a little bit so i think it's that bitch and uh oh my god i didn't get to that extent
1.00
00:28:58.900
like i just got treatment and we're good like yeah buddy but i was like you raw dog the chick
0.98
00:29:05.780
two weeks after your homie hit it jesus okay no i didn't raw dog it i actually was very good about
0.99
00:29:11.100
wearing condoms back in the day but i got drunk and fuck this bitch and it broke and it did that move
1.00
00:29:18.200
and it's funny i remember to this day i still remember the moment when it broke because i was
0.99
00:29:22.600
like drunk but like i could tell it broke but drunk me was like don't look down and it didn't
00:29:28.980
break like this is pretty awesome yeah there is there is no better there is no better sensation
0.99
00:29:36.360
than when you're like because for those that don't know when your dick is an economy like for our lady
1.00
00:29:40.720
audience when your dick is an economy the the sensation is decreased exponentially it's like it's
0.99
00:29:45.660
like it's basically you could slam my dick in a car door i wouldn't even notice it so when you're
1.00
00:29:49.860
having sex and the condom breaks it goes from like like this is cool that i'm having sex to this is
0.99
00:29:55.120
the greatest thing ever i feel like having sex with a condom is just like the thought of having
0.86
00:30:01.960
sex is better than the actual sex itself i agree the condom right now because i've been married for
0.99
00:30:07.000
over a decade is just gross oh yeah i'm like if you're like sex with condom i'm like you should jerk
0.99
00:30:14.000
off into condoms that makes sense because they're lubed on the outside why would you do that dude
0.99
00:30:19.440
that is so weird but uh jose's uh jose's got a point though like if if yeah if yeah it's uh no the
00:30:28.680
the episode is schrodinger's condom oh my god sorry i gotta finish the story because i remember
00:30:31.720
i busted all in there and i remember the moment and like when i busted immediately the realization was
00:30:38.200
like that's when i was like i knew because i already knew i was just lying to myself and i was like
0.53
00:30:43.440
shit and then i looked down i went and like she kind of looked at me like did you and i'm like
0.90
00:30:48.440
yeah and she's like yeah a little i'm like yeah like a lot
1.00
00:30:51.760
you're such a piece she was a whore too though oh yeah i heard like a kind of soft groan like
0.99
00:31:01.520
okay third one this week god i should get a plan b subscription oh my god top top why were you doing
1.00
00:31:12.220
that i don't know that i had like i had a lot of free condoms my room was like filled with condoms
0.99
00:31:17.880
they were in like boxes and shit your parents were like this kid fucks and you were just like
0.99
00:31:22.860
jerking it man that's that's right yeah yeah just have a whole bunch of them just so people think
1.00
00:31:27.440
that you fuck a lot i think i did that i'll put a condom in my that's what i do i hang them up
1.00
00:31:31.820
just hang them up from the ceiling put a condom in my wallet just in case i need a jerk on the go
1.00
00:31:37.520
just toad's a hoarder but he just has a room filled with condoms because he just keeps acquiring
0.99
00:31:44.560
they're they're all expired uh one of my college roommates had like an entire bucket of condoms
00:31:49.980
just by the way on that last comment can't catch an std if you're going to get tested that is 100
00:31:56.200
the kind of mindset i have just with medical anything and i would have done that if i just
0.99
00:32:00.740
didn't have the buddy who came to me who had like a literal dripping dick that was like hey you might
0.98
00:32:07.140
and that for me is like oh that's my future but i could i could see myself being like the frog in
0.99
00:32:11.640
the boiling water of like well it's just dripping a tiny bit what's dripping a little more whatever you
00:32:16.200
know i can totally see myself rationalizing my way all the way through there there's some lose your
00:32:20.240
eyesight you're like oh my god this is a problem and i can't why do i hate the jews and why do i
0.73
00:32:25.280
want to commit uh genocide all of a sudden it's like oh my god that's it's just syphilis and i came
0.99
00:32:30.440
while i pissed one so that was that was the weird uh discharge that i had out of my dick the
0.99
00:32:35.800
the pissing column she's not watching this alex don't don't talk about top's mom like that
0.99
00:32:40.860
we have mailbag we've gone for 30 minutes and forgot all about mailbag we have mailbag
00:32:44.980
before we bring a mailbag speaking of which my mom is a proud uh subscriber to the
0.91
00:32:50.260
locals like the rest you should be where these questions come from wait todd did you finish uh
00:32:57.040
the story you found panties is that the end i guess that's the end of it are you gonna finish
00:33:01.900
it i think you should should i think we should i think you should because it's really funny because
00:33:05.860
women lie you know that that's the old thing let's do mailbag and if we remember to finish
1.00
00:33:11.340
it after we'll do it well because the whole point is this is still an unsolved mystery right
0.98
00:33:16.340
right right you guys would be so good at my pitch idea for fucking bud light oh yeah yeah i
0.98
00:33:21.640
have one in my mind i figured all right go ahead fucking mailbag jesus fucking christ go ahead
0.99
00:33:27.740
where we'll talk oh shit we have banners there we go that's even better the mailbag is on a banner
0.99
00:33:34.760
now i think little dicky's just not reading to us anymore like that's like i'm sad you know what
0.99
00:33:41.340
we were trying to give an opportunity to be on screen talent he kind of slapped that away we get it
00:33:45.420
whatever uh go ahead clint you're the one with the silver voice you know joshua smith's 69 420 kid
00:33:50.880
uh where will top's next white supremacist terrorist attack be at this guy's house
00:33:57.080
i assume i assume this is a play off the fact that there's been a bunch of hispanic white
00:34:02.060
supremacists lately i think that guy was indian wasn't he the the resa guy was indian he could
00:34:06.320
be you josh is a jew isn't he that checks out and there are a lot of people in that house and
00:34:12.260
they're all jews or jew lovers yeah the resa guy was in that is not the worst place to start that is
00:34:18.540
like a concentrated hub yeah just saying that guy actually you're homies that guy that was driving
0.79
00:34:23.780
that u-hauled was there anything in that because i saw you got a yeah yeah a nazi flag
00:34:29.760
why was it thrown out so so nicely though like they took it out for the photo shoot for real
00:34:38.100
no no no yo as as crazy as that aspect of the story is my favorite part is that his plan was once he
00:34:48.120
drove his u-haul truck which was filled with nothing but a nazi flag that's his weapon of
0.91
00:34:54.900
choice he was going to get into the white house take out the president and then take over the
1.00
00:34:59.620
government he had a whole truck while he has no weaponry like a migrant fucking farm worker yeah
1.00
00:35:06.840
the nazi flag uh does like really terrify them yeah dude that would be it he just watched he watched
0.99
00:35:13.480
white house down and he was like i can do that but i have 50 dollars
00:35:17.860
for a few years now and i can tell you the white people are a good people and the darkies i mean
0.97
00:35:29.000
they're just like at my mini mart they are always disrespectful i have a i have a flag and when i get
0.94
00:35:36.040
to the white house i shall raise it and the white man shall reign supreme it's like what are you
00:35:39.840
talking about right now do you think it was like plant the flag like if i can get into this area
0.78
00:35:44.360
with my flag maybe we'll be a nazi i mean let's be real i'm not going to my race is not going to be
00:35:50.100
taking over this nation the whites are a generous people they will gladly keep us around we are
0.99
00:35:55.220
industrious and you know what the whites would because they make a lot of fucking sense man
0.98
00:36:01.660
dude actually i know i love i love hold on hold on i just i love i love the thought process of like
0.98
00:36:09.840
if i can drop the american flag and raise the nazi flag in its place i have conquered america
0.58
00:36:15.980
that's really what he thought like germany actually won other ones who see the truth
00:36:21.740
this is what the fbi thought and but it's also a writer please be easy no but actually uh dickie
00:36:30.760
brought up a point a little while ago in the chat there which is that uh the guy was planning on
00:36:34.980
using his explosive diarrhea as a bomb in the day of the terrorist attack i think the better one he
0.92
00:36:40.580
had was saying that uh no there was a better one i can see if i can find it he's a triple false flag
1.00
00:36:45.900
ss flag didn't even have poo stains on it which is there was another nazi uh like a swastika shit
0.99
00:36:54.040
a shit swastika which i don't understand siraj how did you exactly intend on taking over the united
1.00
00:37:02.380
states well you see i had nothing but curry and this nazi flag and i was all out of fucking curry
0.99
00:37:08.940
friend what are you talking about siraj there's no fucking way he's like no if you look at january
0.99
00:37:15.020
6th there was a bunch of unarmed angry white people and they almost took over the government
0.99
00:37:19.600
i felt with my industrious nature it's a big old fucking game of capture the flag
0.99
00:37:24.780
well you see my plan is to give all of the americans the spiciest uh chicken vindaloo that
0.99
00:37:31.340
we have and they will all shit themselves to death and i was like
0.99
00:37:35.880
he misunderstood he thought he thought it was a black man and elderly like uh i don't know
00:37:44.220
northeastern woman like i don't know what was going on there
1.00
00:37:47.900
oh my god mine wasn't good either but that was awful next next question please
00:37:55.760
reasonable men says who would be the first one of the group to go trans i'm sorry i don't like
00:38:02.500
this how much money would it take wait wait so who would go trans first so this is not necessarily
1.00
00:38:09.520
fucking a trans this is actually like we slice our penis off just hold on for a second we become
1.00
00:38:14.700
trans this feels like this feels like a korean steakhouse where like like they bring you the
1.00
00:38:19.040
meat but they're like you cook it like we have a producer here and he's not a fucking reader
0.99
00:38:23.840
i know right i don't i went to a korean uh i went to korean barbecue just last week and it was amazing
0.99
00:38:29.800
so top fuck you you know it's like getting married and not even having sex just getting a double dutch
1.00
00:38:34.920
rudder every time you know yeah yeah top top fuck you for uh praising little dicky by calling him
1.00
00:38:40.740
the korean barbecue you really don't have to read it little dicky i don't give a fuck yeah no i
1.00
00:38:46.540
already read it i already read it man don't know no no come back dude all right you clearly want
0.99
00:38:50.920
i'm just fucking i would uh i would probably be the first one to do it right because at least uh
0.91
00:38:56.260
if i did that i could start like dominating uh women's sports or something no i just want to tell
1.00
00:39:01.200
you right now if you did it i'd much rather fuck you with a mussy oh my god
1.00
00:39:04.880
no this is why we need to get rich and famous we could do so good with skits like you guys
1.00
00:39:09.520
remember that like cartman episode where he goes to special olympics and gets pwned by the retards
1.00
00:39:13.060
yeah it was great do amazing imagine doing a skit but that with toad going to like female sports
1.00
00:39:18.760
and he just gets fucked on yo that'd be that'd be pretty dope we we just put on like prosthetic
1.00
00:39:24.480
tits and put him in a fucking in a girl like a wmba game and he just gets dunked on left and right
1.00
00:39:29.120
prosthetic i already have him he was like like dude do like a pre like a pre-game interview and he
0.99
00:39:33.800
was like i'm gonna fucking fuck him up man like i can i want it i want to see a Boston accent
0.99
00:39:39.260
because i want to see toad i want to see toad in the lingerie football league get trucked by like
1.00
00:39:43.720
this little 120 pound bitch it'd be so funny can we do it those lfl bitches are i yo we totally
1.00
00:39:49.680
they're actually you know if we made this content it could it would double as like content comedy
0.99
00:39:55.240
for us but also as like smut porn like we could sell it to somebody i want to set up i want to set up
00:40:01.340
events of we get multiple women to try to fight me or just one of us and see how many women we can
1.00
00:40:07.160
fight at once i i think that's a great idea and and they kind of they kind of do that at skank fest
00:40:11.560
but it's it's usually women that just keep fighting each other i just want to see one dude that has to
1.00
00:40:16.140
fight as many women until he's exhausted yeah yeah that would be so honestly i just want to every
00:40:21.880
year like let's see how many you can do but bare knuckle but bare knuckle though like imagine if we had
00:40:27.360
a tower fest and every year like first year i fight two women next year three this is like i see
00:40:33.320
how high i can get i'd much rather just you know just knock them around a bit because you know they'll
0.98
00:40:39.480
like a bare knuckle you're cutting a bitch i want it i want it to be i want it to be awful that'd be
1.00
00:40:45.580
fucking hilarious this sounds like a segue into one of the movies it took the fun out like i would i
0.99
00:40:52.160
would find it more funny like like with sock and boppers like big ass gloves i think oh huge like
0.97
00:40:57.040
i mean you're gonna huge comical boxing gloves it'd almost be more fun with no strikes because
00:41:05.480
then you have pillows on his hand you know how cool it'd be to fight like or 120 pound woman but
1.00
00:41:11.000
not bill throw strikes like you get creative like grab him by a fucking ankle spin around and smack the
1.00
00:41:16.080
other one about the pussy weird shit you know i would i would pick up the first bitch that's dumb
1.00
00:41:20.280
enough to get close to me and i would use her as a battering ram against the rest of them
1.00
00:41:23.540
but he said uh toad and jello and so i'd love to have uh those like the jello uh wrestling
00:41:33.500
yeah yeah toad and like three women and it's just like yes that's that sounds fun for me let's do
00:41:40.500
this at my house let's do this at my house we had this idea before top lobster ranch last time we
0.81
00:41:44.620
said we were going to get a fucking a kiddie pool and put it fill it with jello and then have toad
0.98
00:41:48.780
wrestle bitches i still think it's a brilliant idea honestly i think he should wrestle all our
1.00
00:41:53.040
wives i think he should just uh i think it'd be really you know how hard he would come oh my
1.00
00:41:58.680
immediate he might my wife would fuck you up toad yeah she would she probably would yeah elizabeth
1.00
00:42:06.660
elizabeth hit me before she she has some power i don't i don't know if toad would win or not but
1.00
00:42:11.860
he would come hard like that's a win for me in a fistfight do you think elizabeth could take toad
0.99
00:42:18.780
no i think toad's got it uh i think i'm uh i probably got it i think it'd be close
00:42:25.460
i really think it'd be close she weighs like 110 pounds you really like a street fight no she's
1.00
00:42:33.120
way faster than that oh my god oh my god just cut his internet right now you know he's done for
0.99
00:42:42.080
oh spud would absolutely spud is a fucking amazon i think spud's like six foot tall like she
0.99
00:42:48.300
well that's a problem that's a problem for you toad all right all right who's gonna go transfers i
0.98
00:42:54.440
like i don't know dude i know not me toad is definitely the only one that would go transfer
00:43:00.060
yes thank you uh i think the better question is how much money would it take for you to
1.00
00:43:04.140
to actually slice off your penis and become a woman the answer is fucking infinite infinite there's no
1.00
00:43:09.180
number we can't keep the penis i think if you're going trans i think it's the full the full on
1.00
00:43:15.120
the full trans the full trans it's not it's like full-blown age you're full-blown trans you know
0.98
00:43:21.620
i stand by this that i think cole would make the most attractive trans uh but i think the most
0.89
00:43:26.380
probable outcome is is toad has a total mental breakdown i think if i went trans i would keep
0.86
00:43:31.380
working out and i would just actually go and smash like some female records and i think well
00:43:35.940
look i already get if we get reed's twitter suspended again we can probably convince him to go trans
1.00
00:43:41.060
i i already have the 40 chance of suicide so he's already fucking dusty old pussy so
1.00
00:43:48.600
imagine his suicide rates like actually go down if he goes straight
1.00
00:43:53.920
now you're at 40 he's like i'm actually happy in my life now you're the half a percent of the
0.55
00:44:01.020
population that actually needs transition surgery and you've been refusing uh toadette rolls off the
00:44:06.500
tongue that's true it does she's she's she's a very cute character i bet you have some rolls that
1.00
00:44:13.040
some guys would like to squeeze man i think the better question is how many my moles how many
0.85
00:44:17.720
shots do you have to be to look at toadette and get a get a hard on
00:44:22.160
toadette does have moles on his chest you want to squeeze my moles no no no no my biggest moles are
00:44:31.800
the uh the neck one right here this is it's kind of yeah it's kind of bad it like juts out quite a
0.92
00:44:36.880
bit yeah it's the type of nigga to just talk about his moles you got uh i don't i got some mole
0.98
00:44:42.860
well i got the uh the shoulder up here i don't even see it right now you know how he corners people
0.99
00:44:48.660
at events and they like just starts talking to him and they're like fuck right i got one here
0.89
00:44:54.180
and everyone's everyone's just waiting for him to shut up so they can run away and he's like
1.00
00:45:07.660
they're all riveted to my story dude can you imagine uh having a mole in your butthole and
0.99
00:45:12.440
you never know about it because you haven't seen your butthole i have seen my butthole
1.00
00:45:16.620
your butt mole this would be a butch gay it would be a it would be a butt mole god i'd really i'd
1.00
00:45:26.560
really rather not think about toadette as a woman anymore we can stop that yeah next question next
1.00
00:45:31.160
question next and final mailbag conspiracy extremist says if you could pick one race or
00:45:37.360
category of people to never have to come in contact with again what rate black people no
0.71
00:45:42.540
this lady that completely stole from top's uh rant she completely ripped it off she stole it like a
1.00
00:45:59.760
black person and now you got my thread really is what he's trying to say and she's probably gonna go
00:46:05.860
up to top and be like tip tip no you know what you know what really happened is that she got a tip
0.98
00:46:10.220
mon from top mon let's let's run it wow it's true or let's not roll it he pulled it up and
00:46:18.380
rolled it down here we go here we go here we go listen listen to what she says this is wild we need
00:46:22.920
to hear it jamaican people stay here i'm white people stay here i'm spanish and i'm black american
0.99
00:46:28.180
stay here i'm not saying not all pause real quick pause real quick the dumbest thing i've seen of this
0.99
00:46:34.160
is that she was taking a dead fucking plant and she plants it like it's going to live in front
1.00
00:46:38.640
i thought that too and i'm like is it like there are certain plants you can kind of just graph from
0.98
00:46:45.080
or like move from one i'm like maybe but i'm like i don't know go ahead so what's going on in this
00:46:50.180
story is they're framing her as the normal one and as the one that's the victim but they're showing
00:46:54.400
her do do shit in in jamaica that people do all the time and it does not this is like in in that
0.99
00:47:00.140
that movie where they were feeding the plants gatorade it's all clown shit but whatever keep
0.99
00:47:06.220
playing man yeah no this is what i saw that i was like but you're i understand you can take some
0.99
00:47:11.660
plants to plant them but when they're like plants with already have leaves on it you got to take it
00:47:16.680
by the roots she's literally just stripping off sticks and like planting it in the ground
00:47:22.160
i'm like i saw that too i've had the same time like i don't i don't fucking know i thought it
0.77
00:47:28.860
was like some jamaican thing because there's a lot of plants around there it is it is a jamaican
0.99
00:47:32.980
thing because it makes no fucking sense of jamaican people stay here it's clown shit dude i'm not gonna
1.00
00:47:38.900
lie she is kind of cute i keep seeing other comments yeah you don't understand the witchcraft
1.00
00:47:42.860
black americans are bad but the ones that came to my place have been nothing but problem
1.00
00:47:53.160
only two good ones came here all of them fight late at night not with me with each other
1.00
00:47:58.580
they're disrespectful they're entitled they're unappreciative
0.99
00:48:03.020
what's wrong with your fucking internet dude
1.00
00:48:12.840
jesus man we gotta just kill them i think holy shit all right so so basically she says that it's
1.00
00:48:20.880
the welfare state in america that has made black people awful to be around
1.00
00:48:25.400
that's what she says she's not wrong she's got a she's got a point hold on hold on look in the
0.96
00:48:33.160
background here look at this house that is literally planted like standing up no not that in the exact
00:48:38.580
background you guys are seeing this because this is literally it's literally just
00:48:42.600
limbs that they just stuck under the side of a house and they're like this will hold
00:48:47.920
it's to avoid being flooded i don't it doesn't even look like it's like nailed in like
00:48:53.300
i mean those look pretty janky but they are those are pretty i know that is what they do they'll put
0.98
00:48:58.280
them on stilts someplace yeah when i said the entire you're a fucking engineer cole
1.00
00:49:02.080
yeah and i'm saying this shit does not work the entire country the entire country is just clown
1.00
00:49:10.280
shit like we we need to go there all together so you can see i want to see your faces when you see
1.00
00:49:15.380
it i've been there i'd love to go with you it'd be fucking hilarious you're making white supremacy
1.00
00:49:20.840
for real shit like this is the first time that i was like shit maybe that all these racial minorities
1.00
00:49:25.320
are white supremacists at some point they just get tired of the shit that they keep getting and
1.00
00:49:31.560
she just broke she was just like at some point they get tired of fighting the flawless logic
1.00
00:49:38.360
they're like god after you see it for the 30th time you got to be like
00:49:45.820
i think it's just black people man like i think
0.99
00:49:53.580
did she say that the only two people that she thought were uh okay were not black no no she
0.98
00:50:00.800
said there was only two black people that were okay to be fair she said american black so like
0.95
00:50:06.320
that's true like i know we made great jokes that i've encountered i mean i mean great jokes
00:50:11.600
it is there is like something there's a it's a different phenomenon between some black from
00:50:18.960
some other country and an american black like let's be real yeah that's actually crazy that the
0.99
00:50:23.040
only two okay blacks in the entirety of the u.s both went to jamaica okay black is just okay
0.97
00:50:29.260
cupid but just way underfunded all right go ahead and finish it man it's also my catch okay black
0.99
00:50:37.440
but then they come to jamaica get a free same free shit out here and be nasty about it and i
1.00
00:50:44.600
said all of you like that because of that i'm not risking my health and my happiness for people
0.98
00:50:50.120
no shop off pretty centrally no shop yeah hold on pause it what is up with this like b-roll it is
00:50:57.460
so great it's just like okay we need to pick up pick up some dead plants and then just start
00:51:01.720
stripping and going to the water and then we're gonna put your voice over in it where you're just
0.99
00:51:06.660
talking mad shit on black americans i mean i mean what this is she clearly is one of the workers
0.99
00:51:12.800
there and like i it sounds like she has some sort of little hut that she lets people borrow for
0.99
00:51:17.240
their like beach days or whatever which is fine that's great but like uh
0.97
00:51:21.200
is she committing suicide by going going for a swim i'm done i have too many black men stay with me
0.98
00:51:33.720
mine i go swim and die i guess really it's just that they were like they're okay you're you have
0.98
00:51:39.560
this hot things we're gonna do this little video of you decorating your little hut to show you have it
0.95
00:51:44.280
and then it's jamaica so tourists so get in the water like it really was like that was their level
0.98
00:51:49.300
of creativity there that's all i will say i give them one shit yo yeah this may i shit real for real
0.98
00:51:54.860
i will say this i will give them one thing i do like that their houses are actually like
0.99
00:52:00.180
they always fighting yelling the same thing over and over
0.99
00:52:05.200
they keep going fuck you want fuck you want over and over i tried to watch a movie man and they're
1.00
00:52:14.840
just talking talking black americans jamaican people are making you look bad jamaican people
1.00
00:52:21.480
please you know you're making you crazy you know uh they really don't like the american blacks
1.00
00:52:27.100
because they're too poor to tip they don't even ask they just take
0.99
00:52:31.600
good god i i just i love it when people that you don't expect are racist it's really fun
00:52:39.200
all right uh more to tip on next one next one if you got one well are we gonna do uh there's a
00:52:46.340
special thing that we wanted to do tonight yeah wait let me again i kind of wanted oh yeah
00:52:50.620
oh yeah there is a special thing right um okay so did you get it put together yeah i put it
00:52:58.000
together so basically what happened here is that cole uh i mentioned this last week cole is a teenage
00:53:04.060
girl that's that's basically that's why i'm so turned on by him crazy we don't read it we don't read
00:53:12.120
it and and it's like a big thing because apparently cole's really funny and we're just like none of us
0.99
00:53:16.520
will sign on to instagram for whatever reason so we're like you know what we're gonna give you
00:53:21.680
a little spot here and this this segment is gonna be called uh cole's corner yeah hell yeah so he's
00:53:30.620
gonna show us better but go on thank you show us some videos from instagram and uh these videos are
00:53:37.060
gonna fucking slap i said so these are these are actually ones i did send in the chat which i bet no
0.97
00:53:41.720
one watched um this this first one i do have to explain what happens afterwards but this is really
0.96
00:53:47.040
funny but i did send all these to david and i said you can also pick your own that you that i sent so
00:53:51.440
these are special ones that i sent over every week i'm gonna do this i'm gonna by the way i do want to
00:53:56.240
clarify like we did mention this is from our group chat instagram it is a nightmare in there anytime i go
00:54:01.220
on instagram it's like fucking goddamn 50 new notifications from there and so i don't even bother
0.96
00:54:05.680
opening i'm sending constantly every day it is awful because of cool it's nothing but that by the
0.96
00:54:10.640
way i assumed it might be another spot for us to be able to have conversations nothing but spam videos
0.92
00:54:15.900
yeah nothing no and i anyway it's a cold retarded brain it's concerning you're like yeah all this
0.97
00:54:23.060
stuff makes me laugh every one of these has made me laugh out loud usually this is why i sent them
0.85
00:54:27.800
and i i had suggested this should be a cole's clip corner with three k's though yep kkk it should have
00:54:35.320
been cold culture corner but anyways fuck yeah cold culture corner's good yeah i like it it'll be
0.79
00:54:41.260
that yeah kkk all right so watch this one then i'll explain why it was even funnier uh than just like
0.93
00:54:48.440
what it is yeah so the newest tesla feature is that the seat will take a high resolution scan of your
0.98
00:54:55.140
automatically unlock and start the car you call the tech particular testicular detection
00:55:01.920
okay so the best part about this is that instagram has the same thing as twitter where
00:55:08.920
it'll put like a community note but they fact checked this actually and said that tesla does
00:55:13.740
not this is an actual fact check by instagram i wish we could pull it up because it says fact
00:55:18.260
check teslas do not have a ball scanning feature on them why not it made me laugh so hard that
00:55:24.500
was like hey guys just so you know this isn't real like in case you thought that tesla's actually
0.94
00:55:29.520
scan your balls this is like what happened on twitter recently fucking dennis got got community
0.99
00:55:34.700
this is like from the artist formerly known as dennis i'm like this is tremendous these fucking
1.00
00:55:39.300
idiots it's so great because instagrams all of instagram's like fact checks are way worse than
0.99
00:55:44.460
twitter's ever have been they're comical every time because you mean you mean known parody artist
1.00
00:55:49.820
dennis yes exactly uh i just think that cole realizes that instagram is so shit and they're
0.86
00:55:57.220
like restricting you in every way and he still like goes on there like more than twitter we're
00:56:01.380
on twitter just saying all kinds of shit and he's like i'd rather be the best part about instagram
0.72
00:56:05.800
and i guess you'll see someone i think maybe i just got some less words we know it's way west
0.94
00:56:11.420
words uh way west words way west words dude the only function instagram feels for me is whenever i
00:56:18.300
have some sort of clip or something that i i was doing it only for twitter or whatever i was like
00:56:23.300
well i guess i might as well throw it on instagram like that's all it is but like the racist and sexist
00:56:30.140
and homophobic and all the all the ists and whatever yeah they're remarkable instagram are alive man
0.98
00:56:36.480
go ahead and run the next one the next one it's really hello i got some fucking dove men's soap for
1.00
00:56:42.540
you too okay i don't want to have men's soap on your body because you smell like shit too
1.00
00:56:52.360
as if he had to clarify that like i'm giving you men's soap bitch because you're a man
1.00
00:57:02.800
trans oh shit i missed the trans thing i just thought it was a dad being hilarious
1.00
00:57:09.300
no it was a trans i do that shit to my 13 year old will she be on the phone with her friends and
1.00
00:57:14.660
i'll be like adorana the toilet's clogged what do we say what do we say about this tranny she's
1.00
00:57:21.680
kind of cute for a tranny yeah yeah yeah i'd probably fuck i'm trying to ask but i do find it
1.00
00:57:28.380
funny that there is a dad out there just like wash yourself you smell like shit because you're a dude
1.00
00:57:33.160
and you put off dude hormones wash yourself your pits stink no well is the smell even worse though
0.99
00:57:40.200
because she has a uh what is it a vulnus is that what the term is for do we have to talk about the
0.99
00:57:46.180
odor of the mussy please i think it's just funnier to think that even like trans boy or whatever trans
1.00
00:57:52.460
girl teenager boys basically still stink because this is all their hormones are still teenage boy
0.99
00:57:58.360
hormones is she i have no idea i don't know it's not it's not creepy if it's a dude relax yeah yeah
0.78
00:58:04.580
exactly yeah it's fun young gay dudes all the time so it's like kind of a loophole we found here so
0.99
00:58:09.400
clint can fuck young children like he wants young young girls this is why i'm gay also the best part
0.99
00:58:15.080
about instagram usually the comments are all very uh right wing and so like this will get all sorts
1.00
00:58:23.360
of w's like it'll just be a massive thing like that's like the most realistic part they're like
0.99
00:58:29.200
listen doctor no matter what you do when you take this dick off and give me a mussy i just need it to
1.00
00:58:33.840
leak and the doctor was like oh top top it's supposed to spit and it's supposed to spit i'm gonna need
0.99
00:58:40.240
some added discharge if you know what i'm saying yeah maybe maybe you put an air cannon up there so
00:58:44.540
i can like shove something like it there's some snot boogers i'm gonna put drainage pipes from my uh
1.00
00:58:49.440
tummy to get dude you know what would be really dope guys i have a great idea we should create a
00:58:55.860
market or like a uh like a what's the uh a t-shirt cannon but we like we reconfigure the t-shirt
0.93
00:59:02.720
cannon for uh fake dicks and then and then just have like trannies can just launch dude just
1.00
00:59:08.440
fucking like yeah like top deck of a baseball stadium launch out of their dicks it'd be so
1.00
00:59:12.860
fucking oh shit that's how you jam pussy dude yeah why would yeah why would a tranny get like a fake
1.00
00:59:19.740
dick that was made from skin from their like thigh or something yeah you're never you're never
1.00
00:59:24.080
going to be able to orgasm anyways just make it a fucking clown show just launch i do like the
1.00
00:59:28.400
the fake dicks though are just go full detachable like yeah whatever i do like that the fake dicks
1.00
00:59:35.320
though because they were talking about like having a soda can dick like the fake dicks do like a soda
1.00
00:59:39.480
can got wrapped in like some like silicone that's basically what it looks like they're horrifying
0.99
00:59:43.960
but you know what i would like if they shot massive ropes i would like that yeah honestly you could
00:59:50.040
actually shove a little rope up there and shoot it out that would be the best okay guys and then they
0.69
00:59:54.860
hang yourself on it i feel like if you lived up that little inside hole you could shoot out
0.94
01:00:01.880
guys if you could if you could do this surgery would you take some skin from your forearm or your or
1.00
01:00:08.220
your thigh and like make your dick thicker like they could probably do that right would you do that
1.00
01:00:12.400
right now i could do that like a tiny bit no uh no because you would lose sensation it would suck
1.00
01:00:16.960
is your ass skin an option how long is the sensation on the inside of my thigh i don't care about
1.00
01:00:22.400
sensation inside my thigh no you mean no on your dick you dumb fuck
1.00
01:00:25.920
you don't think they can match like they can't okay but if you rub your thigh does it feel like
1.00
01:00:33.200
hard it doesn't you get sexual sensation like oh yeah like it's not the same dude i bet it
0.99
01:00:38.400
what if what if what if cole is like a genie and and and uh oh my god he can't come from a blowjob
1.00
01:00:49.680
but he could rub his thigh and nut that's how trashy his girl is babe stop sucking my dick and put
1.00
01:00:56.560
those lips on my thigh it'd be dope it'd be dope if it shot a white bed sheet that was in the in the
1.00
01:01:02.880
shape of a of a noose just like i said oh i'm sorry i'm sorry i didn't hear that's why i said i
01:01:09.200
said they could shoot little ropes and then hang us up with it we've been talking over it all night
01:01:14.160
so i didn't hear it i'm sorry yeah yeah guys i heard ropes i was like haha they did that was my reaction
0.97
01:01:19.840
yeah yeah sorry jose fuck hey next one i got some more there's some all right let's do it
0.86
01:01:36.880
all right for our listening audience it says police investigating incident in a sheffield pub
0.97
01:01:41.360
live band played rocky music as husband beat wife that is so funny
01:01:45.600
oh man the guy was just because you know whenever you hear rocky music you start doing a little
01:01:50.640
bounce you start doing it's like i could just see him being like he's going he's he hits the first
01:01:56.240
time and they hear dun-da-da-da-da he's like all right and he just really yeah you just realize
01:02:01.600
he gets a second wind we need to do that one of these days we i mean i don't know if there's a way we
01:02:05.840
can do that i don't know the tech behind that but play the rocky music as we watch on those like
01:02:10.320
dude beats woman fight videos like a brutal rough beat down i haven't i haven't
01:02:15.360
i have an admission to make uh at my gym it's there's almost never anybody in it because it's
01:02:19.920
like a bunch of old people that live here so i want to know if you guys do this too i have i have
01:02:25.520
only taken boxing lessons for like a month out of my entire life every time i'm in the gym by myself
01:02:30.880
and i have all the mirrors around i shot i shadow box a little bit anybody else no i don't do that
01:02:34.960
i do flex but i don't shadow box that's like no i don't do that shadow boxing happens a lot when i'm
01:02:40.160
drunk yeah like it my my wife's nickname is shadow
1.00
01:02:51.520
if you're shadow boxing in the mirror bad posture for like your actual like fighting stance if you're
01:02:56.960
what if you're shadow boxing in a mirror and you're looking at yourself right to the side when you're
01:03:01.360
moving it's not it's it's just not where you want to be with your head well the hardest the hardest part
01:03:06.720
is that i can never i can never beat the guy in the mirror he's always like he's always matching
01:03:12.320
me with my sorry that was a cold joke go ahead jesus next one what else we got there's there's
0.97
01:03:19.440
some more in there i know fat bitches need to shut up bro i'm not gonna like in all respect in all
1.00
01:03:26.640
honesty like not gonna lie it'd be a lot of the fat holes talking you fat bitches need to shut the
1.00
01:03:38.720
i love black dudes go so hard they don't give a fuck man my favorite is how he ends it on god like
1.00
01:03:48.720
terrible thing to say i ain't gonna lie fat what is he what is he though is he like a streamer or
0.99
01:03:54.320
something or he's just some project no he's a dude in prison he's got he's got his he's got his
0.98
01:03:58.640
prisoner tag right in the top left corner there is nothing worse than some fucking unattractive
0.99
01:04:06.000
like dumb that's like causing problems because you really just want to level them be like you are
1.00
01:04:10.880
literally fucking worthless in this world you serve no purpose no one wants to fuck you you're stupid
1.00
01:04:18.160
like what what are you doing here take take you never give wait that's that's what you guys do to
1.00
01:04:24.000
me though well that's there's a reason you had it coming lose some weight
01:04:48.480
oh oh yeah well there's a new political candidate we should uh read that off yeah we
01:04:57.200
should i really don't want this what i feel like top you really didn't want this the we're
01:05:03.360
doing it we're doing it i thought it was hilarious it is hilarious i love this segment
01:05:07.360
no no no no no no insecure because you thumbs down this guy oh i yeah i did there's a gentleman
01:05:14.240
running for congress this is our favorite uh congressional candidate i do want to ask
01:05:18.240
is this legit like i don't think so i don't know they presented it in a way that's believable which
01:05:23.600
is yeah it's well because well because uh nevada nevada
01:05:27.440
nevada district three is correct like that does exist and suzy lee is the current uh
01:05:35.520
congressional we should just don't read it i want clint to just read this
01:05:39.120
how long is it i want to see how long it is it's not that long okay
01:05:44.320
oh my god no read crime read crime start at crime all right just
01:05:48.880
oh my god crime you see despite despite the fact that my people are just 30 percent of
01:05:54.240
violation they commit over 52 percent of murders they lose it at the end and i propose implementing
01:06:00.640
the death penalty for any individual who's convicted of multiple felonies this is where
01:06:05.520
they lose it they lost the plot here because they had this they had this like fun thing where
01:06:09.360
it was like this level like maybe it's legit maybe it's not here it's like no you lose it this
01:06:14.240
is this is way more aggro than i thought it was yeah do we need to explain to the uh the
01:06:18.720
listening audience here that this is a congressional candidate who may or may not
01:06:23.040
be real uh named daniel nigger who is for real though read through all these and they're all right
0.98
01:06:28.320
on that line where you're it's like believable the 1352 if you like if you didn't know those
01:06:33.600
numbers you would probably be like oh like you just go with it but we obviously we hear they're
0.95
01:06:37.200
like oh that's this is bullshit 1352 there's no way it seems plausible it seems like a black
1.00
01:06:40.480
dude could have written this you know what i mean yeah but now the last one that last one that
0.98
01:06:43.600
really is where like they lost the entire plot they fucked it all up because it's like
0.92
01:06:47.280
yeah this is so terrible i'm almost not reading that one i'm not reading they almost pulled it
0.71
01:06:54.400
off and then right at the end they fucking lost it like that makes me mad honestly yeah
0.93
01:07:01.920
i mean i was a gang member i come from an incredibly poor family and rough background my dad was a gang
01:07:08.000
member and was shot in a drive-by shooting when i was just five years old my mom was a drug addict
01:07:12.480
and died when i was a senior this is like lewis j gomez but despite all that i still made it out here
01:07:16.960
and i'm here running for congress what if this is actually lewis doing this it could be it's time
01:07:22.480
to ensure that children growing up never have to experience what i do it really know what this
01:07:26.080
would 100 make sense to be lewis because like how it fumbled the bag right at the end like you know
01:07:30.960
how lewis gets drunk like have you noticed like there's always those comedy shows he'll do like
01:07:34.480
there's certain shows where if it goes too long and he's been drinking he'll get like he'll just
01:07:39.920
shit the bed he'll just go to trash but he'll be like amazing and then like boom right at the end
01:07:45.360
how is his twitter still up it seems like i think i think because it's real say his name
0.98
01:07:52.080
no i think it is because hold on a second hold on clint doesn't want to say the name but don't you
0.96
01:07:58.000
worry about it officer sick nigger what uh dan daniel nigger for congress uh we we we endorse him
1.00
01:08:06.640
the one time i slip and now it's a clip god damn
0.99
01:08:10.960
yay endorses all right oh my god it's all right let's let's move on let's move on
0.95
01:08:19.440
i think i do have a couple let's let's finish that with some of the uh because i do have a couple more
0.78
01:08:24.480
clips left i think i think there's some more this is just all the shit that like we never watch he's
0.94
01:08:28.960
like i'm gonna make these i'm gonna make you watch it because it's great shit like you know what i'm
0.98
01:08:33.040
here for it's taking his faggotry and making it to content so whatever yeah oh dicky says that was
0.99
01:08:39.280
it yeah there's some yeah that was it well they don't know they're saying it so you're embarrassing
0.99
01:08:44.960
us in front of all our friends you're the producer produce yeah so we don't embarrass us in front of
01:08:50.240
all of our friends hey david it's the kids singing what no i i better find a video of a kid
01:08:58.880
singing with a bunch of people and we uh with a bunch of videos we could have segued into the uh
01:09:04.720
the one guy fighting uh three women yeah you know that seems like a good way to go out on it's if we
01:09:09.360
go with that one this guy's always trying to end the show look it's what we got 20 we're just we're
01:09:15.120
in dead water here we got we got we got 20 minutes no we got we got a bunch of other 20 minutes when
01:09:21.200
do we have set times this is one of them we usually go like an hour actually just elizabeth is not
0.55
01:09:27.120
kicking me off my son is actually crying and she was just like can you take care of him yeah there
01:09:31.760
you go okay tell her tell her to handle her power power hour dude hour hour and a half baby we always
0.98
01:09:39.760
we always go that's why we're not tower power anymore we're tower gang bitch go yeah and handle your
1.00
01:09:44.240
business our gang and a half hour i would be back if it's still who's gonna run these clips i don't
0.89
01:09:50.880
think there are anymore there are there are numerous
01:09:59.280
dude i can't believe brian mcwilliams would just come in there
01:10:01.520
he really he really walks around one like brian mcwilliams but also like a total nazi
0.57
01:10:26.880
yeah he really did it's it's super easy to to pin the white supremacist thing on and also
0.84
01:10:30.960
his fighting sounds awkward right he's like pulling these girls
0.94
01:10:41.440
that is the face of someone who said white power
0.99
01:10:46.480
his head is like a point too it's fucking adorable yeah he looks like a tip of a condom
0.99
01:10:51.440
when he tosses that second if you could rewind for a second there yeah that's the best part
0.99
01:10:57.120
by far that's the hardest man like he shoved her into the nether realm
01:11:01.840
why did he get involved it's kind of because it was an unfair fight because they're fighting
0.98
01:11:06.800
his boom oh man that's this up bitch this is jose's dream this is jose's dream right
1.00
01:11:14.000
oh it is i was saying you think you're gonna push her harder dude i don't know that's pretty rough
0.99
01:11:19.680
i don't know that's whiplash like a dude dude he is so much bigger than her i can send her so far
0.97
01:11:24.960
i think in his like deep in his head he was like when he did that like i think he like didn't realize
01:11:30.160
how little of a bit she was it was like it was like kind of bracing he was gonna put you think he
01:11:34.160
didn't he didn't realize it when he had to like bow down to get to her hips to shove it no it looks
0.96
01:11:40.400
like he used full strength and then realized wow well i mean i think have you ever like i don't
01:11:47.120
know wrestled around like play with your wife or something and then you ever check that like you
01:11:52.480
ever because i feel like as men like our reference point is like how we interact with other men like
01:11:57.520
if we were going to fight but like you're not it's not like we've ever like grown up doing sports with
01:12:02.240
women wrestling fighting whatever boxing yeah and it's like so when you do get someone who's
01:12:07.520
literally like 80 pounds lighter than you it throws off your frame of reference it almost
01:12:12.240
be like if you but you got used to shooting on a 10 foot basket and then all of a sudden one day
01:12:16.320
someone threw up at 15 you'd be like you're off like you're you're like no it's the other direction
01:12:20.960
it would be like it's six feet whatever you're just you're used to a certain way it just throws
01:12:27.040
off your frame of reference entirely so i think with someone's like you're that much bigger than like
0.71
01:12:31.120
you're wrestled with your like old lady or some shit and like you just realize like i am that much
0.94
01:12:35.440
stronger than you like you're not even oh my god i just had the best idea i just had the best idea
0.98
01:12:39.440
all right so i want just imagine that that jose just now was a defense attorney for a dude who
01:12:46.560
accidentally killed his wife by by like rough housing that that was his defense right there
0.91
01:12:52.400
your honor you ever been shooting on a 10 foot hoop and then it drops down to six feet and then you
0.99
01:12:57.200
chuck a bitch and then she dies not guilty your honor he didn't he didn't know his own strength
0.99
01:13:02.240
you know what it's not a bad argument if you're like hey you know she's like he
1.00
01:13:06.240
fought her and he's always fought dudes and he just wasn't ready for what happens when you fight
01:13:11.360
someone you're that much better than your honor he was a scholar your honor and a genre
01:13:18.480
he threw that one punch how was he supposed to know he had to go down to like 20 power who
01:13:23.920
fucking knew he was at like 60 all right go full screen for us 100 which is very funny to me i'm
0.89
01:13:33.040
saying like take the video down um yeah so yeah and we do also have a few other ones that i threw in
0.97
01:13:40.160
the spreadsheet too we still have the uh the uh in uh little dicky's uh home state i believe the the
01:13:46.720
guy who got shoved in front of a train we do have that one yeah this your honor she was a woman so
0.93
01:13:53.840
yeah so you have to quit what do you expect this is so this is wrong yeah bro oh yeah he's fine
01:14:02.560
there you go this is exactly what's gonna it's like picking up an empty cardboard box you think
01:14:06.320
it's 70 pounds of ground beef in it he's fine just walk it off bro get a wheelchair you're fine
1.00
01:14:23.920
so what's the story with this uh we don't have one so i think i think that he was trying to uh
01:14:30.160
get unemployment insurance or a disability rather and it just backfired so uh this is a light rail
01:14:36.400
in minneapolis and two guys were fighting and i assume they were black
01:14:40.800
black for whatever reason what type of shoes is he wearing yeah one of them shoved the other one
0.52
01:14:47.680
uh in front of uh the train bummer dude what a rough way to go i remember i remember like uh
0.92
01:14:55.520
like the last time i watched regular tv on like a cbs show or some shit and it stuck with me for like
0.66
01:15:01.360
fucking 20 years now there was this i don't know if it was like csi or something but this dude or i think
0.87
01:15:07.840
it was a yeah it was a dude he gets stuck in a uh in a train station like that and and the train
0.97
01:15:14.080
spins his lower uh quadrant or lower half of his body and so he's still alive so they're having a
0.54
01:15:21.680
conversation with him and they're like i've seen this in real life shut the fuck up yeah no i was a
0.83
01:15:27.840
track worker for like seven years yeah wait how many times um i'm serious i've seen that i've seen
01:15:37.920
with the leg i've seen one time an elevated track just a leg on the ground like yeah sometimes if
01:15:45.440
we're in the area where the people who respond to it we got to go on the tracks cut the power
01:15:48.800
do whatever did you grab the leg and like start playing like soccer actually i was on a site where
01:15:55.360
somebody died too we had to like fucking carry him to the street level because uh fire department
0.96
01:16:00.880
wouldn't come down he was a track worker it was crazy it was all right so the the show the show this
0.93
01:16:06.240
guy he he gets his lower half totally spun around so it's backwards and he's he's just trapped like
01:16:12.400
that right but his upper torso is above so they bring in his wife and his kids to have a conversation
01:16:16.960
with them before they move the train that's what the entire episode was it was so traumatizing i
01:16:21.840
like i still haven't forgotten what show happens all the time it happens all crazy i don't know it
0.99
01:16:27.360
was like csi or some shit they're fucking i don't know shit yeah horrible it was absolutely horrible
0.99
01:16:32.640
but uh i'm having ptsd right now but yeah i believe it bro all right pull that on that note guys we'll
0.99
01:16:38.000
see you next no no we got uh we got the the donkey thing we got the hand job machine we got the uh
01:16:45.040
uh the uh terms of divorce in medieval times or whatever i don't know whatever you want all right
01:16:58.480
i love it i love the revenge right here this guy's uh smacking that ass
1.00
01:17:06.320
oh my god why is this happening this is all twitter right it's gotta be his internet i i i think it's
0.99
01:17:17.120
twitter to some extent well i don't think so at all uh well we i think it's a conspiracy
01:17:40.240
the donkey like yeah like runs over him and like bites his leg and drags him by it or something if i
01:17:45.520
remember correctly my favorite part about this is the beginning to the to the middle part of the video
01:17:49.760
because he's acting all tough he's beating up on this donkey and then about five seconds later
0.99
01:17:54.560
he's screaming like a bitch it's a beautiful thing he's pounding that ass uh clinton like that like
1.00
01:17:59.360
what the fuck is wrong with that kid he's a piece of shit he got i don't know what he deserves
1.00
01:18:03.360
some people in these countries fuck donkeys but uh are you familiar with the concept of a donkey
1.00
01:18:08.240
punch by the way yeah of course it's the back of the head what are we fucking yeah yeah
1.00
01:18:13.200
yeah fucking adults we've experienced it dude yeah okay come on see punch the chicks
1.00
01:18:18.480
uh to the back of the head while uh while fucking her then all right you i mean is there any other
1.00
01:18:23.280
way okay call me when you grow up toad what the fuck are you talking about
1.00
01:18:34.000
well i i was uh i was unaware of the uh the concept until uh even though i thought i thought i knew all
0.99
01:18:40.240
the the sex maneuvers the sex terms and i i was unaware of that one until uh until that movie came out uh
01:18:47.840
donkey punch the movie yeah these like young people go on this uh cruise or something and
0.98
01:18:55.200
one guy donkey punches one of the chicks and this is a this is a porno that you're talking about i'm
0.75
01:19:00.720
pretty sure yeah is this a real movie a little bit research says donkey punch threes i don't know
0.97
01:19:09.920
how you didn't just hit that button again top i was waiting i was like perfect comedic movement
0.93
01:19:14.160
hit it again what are you talking about no no donkey donkey punch the guy donkey punches a woman and
1.00
01:19:21.120
accidentally kills her and then was the title barely legal donkey punch i think i know exactly what you
1.00
01:19:26.720
were watching like a bunch of shit happens uh yo go to imdb and search fucking donkey punch i don't
1.00
01:19:31.680
believe this motherfucker did you did you see this like did you rent it from blockbuster how did you see
1.00
01:19:35.360
this movie um i found out about it i was like yeah that sounds pretty good i'll download it did you
1.00
01:19:41.840
jerk off to it um maybe yeah you did i think there were some hot chicks yeah did you jerk off into a
1.00
01:19:49.520
condom to it naked in it no no i never do that toad if you ever ask me what a donkey punches again you're
1.00
01:19:54.960
fired that was the fucking gayest shit i've ever heard frillo top you need to get a bunch of different
1.00
01:19:59.440
soundboard noises that are just weird things that like that that will completely throw toad for a
1.00
01:20:04.800
loop when he goes in these long rant stories it's like just weird shit just about that just just you
0.99
01:20:10.480
sighing deeply this motherfucker is still talking that's my best top impersonation so anyway uh donkey
0.99
01:20:20.560
punch all right i guess i guess i guess dicky's given up on producing the show and it's not going to pull
0.99
01:20:28.480
up the imdb all right here we go ready this is he said he said he refused
01:20:37.200
well those those titties are jiggling why do you have to say that
0.90
01:20:49.600
i mean it's like in the ballpark i guess but not i wouldn't say ideal no because she looks close
01:20:55.280
what made her what made her win over the other girl like like how sensitive is this like pressure
0.98
01:21:00.880
sensitive or i'm pretty sure it's strokes like it it came first i don't know it's paste
01:21:18.000
experience doing it well well he breaks the motherfucker i dude i have so much experience
0.96
01:21:24.240
doing it to myself like obviously i would win this um i'm not gonna lie i would have preferred to see
0.99
01:21:29.120
the other girl no he just explained your joke again and you let him all did i i didn't god damn it
0.98
01:21:34.720
what the fuck are you talking about you said toad would win and then he goes yeah because i have so
0.98
01:21:41.200
much experience with myself why toad it's like it's like that was the joke bro wow all right
1.00
01:21:46.800
come on dog i'm too autistic for that well well dicky pulls up the next one i i have a special
01:21:51.600
announcement uh miss josey has just got her own show twitter spaces exclusive and uh it's through
01:21:59.360
tim cast so they're gonna have some of the biggest guests in the world she's gonna do it once a week
1.00
01:22:03.680
it's gonna be a twitter spaces and if you want to uh see the video version of it you just have
01:22:09.280
why are we looking at total uh if you want to see the video version of it you just have to
01:22:13.840
uh be a subscriber over at tim cast so i just thought that was really cool for her i'm super
01:22:17.440
fucking happy i think i think she's gonna kill it that's like that's like the first that's the first
0.87
01:22:22.240
step into uh like making twitter like the podcast space yeah i did yeah spaces that's why i put out
0.97
01:22:29.600
the soundboard because i'm like yo if we could do this on you know uh on spaces and try to do something
01:22:34.960
yeah yeah that was sick dude i loved it and yeah i think that she's gonna
0.99
01:22:38.640
fucking absolutely crush at it and it's gonna be like and because she's gonna be one of the first
0.86
01:22:43.440
it's gonna be huge well yeah i do want to be i do want to say it right because i know
0.94
01:22:48.240
and maybe you may have got the vibe that i was like a little bit down it but like i i really actually
01:22:52.720
listened to that spaces later with our like our uh that setup we had like as we did in the uh
01:22:57.920
those aren't aware when we went to the dave smith show we did like a little uh podcast after the show
01:23:02.800
from the parking lot that is actually special content to our locals pull that up again dickie
01:23:09.760
please yo yo nix nix this video anyways it's not funny but anyways uh yeah no it's not yeah we did
01:23:15.280
that uh i was really i was really impressed with the uh quality actually surprising because i listened
01:23:20.000
to it later and it is like there's definitely a lot of possibilities to work with there we just have
01:23:24.240
to obviously plane it a little bit better or what we were doing but it was definitely a good like test
01:23:28.400
run i i thought why would josh smith's 69 420th child talk to us like that kick him out of the
0.99
01:23:35.120
fucking locals i mean i know calling us a faggot he said faggot it's uh he called us howdy fellow
1.00
01:23:40.560
faggots why would he say that report him report him yeah i'm normally you can call me a faggot
1.00
01:23:52.320
pay me enough while you spit in my mouth but yeah he did say fellow so that's nice yeah that uh
1.00
01:23:57.840
that uh jerk off game by that i assume that's actually a game it reminds me of you ever play
0.99
01:24:02.400
pie face clint you fucked up now we gotta remove this episode it wasn't supposed to announce till
0.99
01:24:07.760
july jesus christ we're like uh really no it's i don't know it reminds me of that game that you
0.99
01:24:15.360
literally get a pie in the face and tell your friends tell everyone guys a cream pie in the face
01:24:20.480
i don't know this is it clint's face when he realized he got fired from a job that he didn't
01:24:24.480
quite get yet oh by the way keep your mouth close by the way i will be in virginia next thursday
01:24:33.120
through saturday so will you maybe not now we'll see josey just act like me like just uh like like i
01:24:41.440
say i'm starting a podcast but i never really started so this is like the same thing like it's
01:24:45.360
starting but it's not it might not even exist oh i'm thinking about it uh totally while we were having
01:24:52.320
a full-on separate conversation you just kept talking about pie game and pies in the face guys
01:24:57.280
why the fuck would you do that why would you do that why would you talk about pie game what are
0.99
01:25:02.480
you talking about i have no idea what are you doing though we're having a fucking totally separate
1.00
01:25:07.440
conversation you're just like oh you guys ever hear a pie game it's a fucking pie in the face it's a
0.99
01:25:11.600
fucking game with a pie in the face that's not a fucking game toad that's a pie in the face that's
1.00
01:25:17.040
what the clowns do are you a clown are you trying to entertain us let him let him finish all right
1.00
01:25:22.720
go ahead go ahead what i already did i already had the conversation separately that's it what was
0.96
01:25:30.960
the point of it though i have no idea but anyways that's really cool that she has that going you
01:25:36.160
said so it's subscribers only so it's like paywall no no no so it's it's free on spaces but if you
01:25:41.120
want to watch the video version of it it'll be uh subscribers only so that's how it works like on
01:25:45.360
youtube or like paywall i don't know bro don't okay i don't know subscribers to her subscribers
01:25:49.920
to tim the fuck is that i think it's how are you gonna make an official announcement and not come
0.96
01:25:54.480
with the details well because i was i was just happy for her because we uh she messaged me about
0.96
01:25:59.840
it and i just was like this is so cool she's like that's the last thing i'm gonna tell you in
01:26:03.040
confidence yeah yeah i probably should have asked her if i could have told the story you know what
01:26:09.280
speaking of things in confidence i feel like we should finish the story from the beginning all
01:26:13.040
all right let's do it yeah go ahead i feel like we should let's close with a thing good one good
01:26:17.280
way to end that episode yeah you know what's not a good way to end this episode talking about pie
1.00
01:26:21.680
game you fucking asshole pie face is the name of the game you so much you get pie in the face and
1.00
01:26:29.440
and in this you know instead of the the pie slapping you in the face it's the cum coming out of the
1.00
01:26:34.320
penis i don't know what are you saying i have no idea what i'm saying so anyway everyone's at my house
0.99
01:26:42.640
right and we find the panties and my my wife notices like there's a little bit of crust on
1.00
01:26:47.680
these panties or some kind of goop and i was like yeah so then she was like so so i i said like
01:26:54.320
better on these panties go on yeah maybe it was from who are they who are they and she said can we
0.88
01:26:59.520
say names or should we not it doesn't matter i would rather not i don't even know their their names
01:27:05.040
so all right it could be one person and she's like no but she's like a little bit bigger but then my
0.99
01:27:09.760
my aunt told me my aunt told me that she was like well during the comedy show there were two girls
0.97
01:27:14.720
running up and down giggling to the room so i was like who and she told me who and then they were
01:27:19.760
running up to that room where we found the panties so i was like oh so the one girl we thought those
01:27:25.360
panties might have been to the the underwear was too tight the glass slipper didn't fit but the second
0.91
01:27:30.560
girl maybe and here's the problem with the second girl everybody noticed she didn't have panties on
1.00
01:27:36.800
right from the beginning of the day so this is a conundrum where they came from who they came from
01:27:43.280
what was going on in this room we don't know we've asked everybody and we can't get a
01:27:48.240
fucking straight answer i asked her to her face on saturday right and she just laughed so i'm like
0.89
01:27:54.080
no no she said she said i don't think so but i cannot deny it fully because i was drinking heavily
0.98
01:28:00.880
that's what she said which i really wish we could say names and the relationships that we have to
01:28:06.080
these people because that adds such another dynamic that's part of why i didn't even want to bring it
01:28:10.240
up but you can say the the relationship just don't say the names okay well one of them was someone's
0.95
01:28:15.600
girlfriend and so we're alluding to that like the two chicks may have fucked and it's just hilarious
1.00
01:28:20.960
because it's one of the people's here's previous girlfriend so it's like yo did you fuck my girl
1.00
01:28:25.600
so that's like kind of they they swap panties and they spit all over them with their pussies
1.00
01:28:31.760
previous girlfriend three are married one's a virgin
0.99
01:28:38.240
and then also keep in mind my incredible fear of the the craziness for the first time this brought
01:28:43.360
up so i think you can narrow down you know crazy woman my favorite
01:28:49.600
so my favorite part of this though is that i think it's like it's like almost
01:28:53.760
what was it six months later that it was a while later yeah that topper or one of these
0.96
01:28:57.840
motherfuckers calls me up and is like like yo man actually calls me oh that's right that's right
0.98
01:29:03.200
and then i called me right away you have called me as well so
0.99
01:29:07.040
you did call me right away that's true you did call me right here's the thing so so cole and and
01:29:11.840
elizabeth called me right away about toad story you told me that like right away maybe within like
01:29:17.040
two weeks and i the same for you i don't know why we have this connection here me and cole but i'd be
01:29:21.600
calling him with the juice man get elizabeth on the phone what happened here we were doing
0.89
01:29:28.400
forensics it's crazy yeah dna tests this is this is what fucking bothers me though they don't tell me
0.97
01:29:36.800
right away they fucking they sit on this story for like six months and then top calls me and he's like
0.98
01:29:41.200
hey man i don't know i don't know how to bring this up and he's like he's all he's like being really
0.96
01:29:46.160
respectful and sensitive about it and i just as soon as he tells me what it is i'm like oh bro don't
01:29:50.640
even whatever like i don't fucking care at all like maybe they did well you were like that would
0.98
01:29:57.040
be hot no no way this girl could wear size small panties now if if i caught my if i caught my boy's
1.00
01:30:04.640
girl and she was cheating on him with another guy i have to tell him right away but if my girl my boy's
1.00
01:30:10.160
girl with another girl i'm like is this cheating like if you catch your buddy's uh chick fucking
1.00
01:30:21.760
another dude you assume that he's not cool with that like you know that there's a clear line now
0.99
01:30:27.760
if there's some shit going on with another chick you're like well i don't know maybe they have some
01:30:31.920
weird thing going on like you're like for the record i get involved for the record in here can
0.99
01:30:37.440
i jerk off somewhere we did not have a weird open relationship or anything like that and it would
0.91
01:30:42.320
like at the time it probably would have bothered me if that's what happened but it's not what
0.93
01:30:46.000
happened i really don't i really don't believe that's what happened because that those panties
01:30:49.200
according to you they're really small homegirl's not rocking any underwear like
0.86
01:30:53.280
she's just like she just carries around a pair of panties so that when she
1.00
01:30:56.240
some dude's chick she just drops the panties there you talked about this we have i remember
1.00
01:31:00.720
having this conversation you know legit is like women do that shit with the like it's almost like
1.00
01:31:04.720
a like i mixed my labor with it this and now it's my property type you know like did your
0.99
01:31:09.440
ex-boyfriend wear really small underwear is that your territory no not no that's what i mean
01:31:14.880
yeah like like you would see the weird part was and i want to say i don't know if you've told
0.81
01:31:19.440
this before oh you mean like g-string shit no no like tight on them like doesn't fit them but like
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01:31:25.040
it'll it'll squeeze them i've seen that girls do that no no i don't know if this was mentioned
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yet but that the panties were found inside the the bedding it wasn't just like on the floor
01:31:36.720
look look there's a reason to connect easers and she held it up to the light there was a reason to
01:31:41.200
connect the dots to perhaps me and my girl because it was in the bed that i slept in so like i understand
01:31:47.520
the logic the funny part is that he actually did sleep in that
01:31:50.240
i think i think that's what happened i think the pain yeah that's definitely unless i mean
01:31:59.600
unless it happens in the morning i mean and you slept like cole everybody left by the time you
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01:32:05.520
woke up everyone's gone yeah i slept yeah i forgot about it i clipped like it's such dude we went to
01:32:12.080
bed at like three i'm not waking up at seven like i don't even understand how people do that how you guys
01:32:16.080
party and then wake up super early and just like go rian and i were both out of there like four
01:32:21.760
do you want to say that we're thinking about or we're gonna save that what what we're planning
01:32:27.360
you're thinking about oh i guess i thought we were doing it oh and the other girl involved in this is
01:32:31.840
also robbie's side piece so let's just put it out there
01:32:35.440
i mean she doesn't care we talked about she knows it doesn't matter we're not saying any names
01:32:53.760
like this weekend i i don't know it like i immediately forgot i was like whatever i do know
01:32:57.840
it but i'm not gonna say it that's for sure is it bernitha
01:33:06.960
i don't know yeah oh you just saw her didn't you or was she not there this no she was there
01:33:12.640
at the comedy place but i i don't i didn't look what she was wearing the shorts that don't cover
1.00
01:33:16.320
her i'm a respectful man look look when i meet any of your your my my guys girls i don't even know
01:33:22.960
i don't even notice if they have i don't even notice what they i don't know i don't know what they
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look like i don't know i don't remember their names i don't know what the fuck clothes they're
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01:33:30.560
wearing nothing i don't know shit clint is a top g man he's a fucking they're dead to me
1.00
01:33:35.760
i wish they were dead so i could have you all to myself
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01:33:45.120
i just wish that all of your wives would die so i can have you all to myself
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01:33:54.080
i still don't know if jose actually has a wife because she is never included in anything that has
01:33:58.640
happened she's not real she doesn't like i'm telling you i think top is starting to see the
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light of the married ones you're you're like you're in this retarded early marriage spot
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tops like cresting where he's like seeing the light don't get your
0.99
01:34:14.320
involved in your shit just don't like they it up that's all they do like doesn't mean you don't love
0.98
01:34:19.680
them they're great she's awesome i like hanging out with her we have our own time together i don't
0.99
01:34:28.080
what if the big twist of tower gang is that that uh clint isn't isn't the obvious fed what if it was
01:34:33.840
was jose the whole time he'd be so glad he couldn't be oh my god
01:34:43.840
wow because i'm telling you like there's been multiple opportunities where his wife could be
01:34:48.880
could could have met us could have been there every time he's like you and i don't want her to
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your wife's gonna have to show bob for for me to believe that she's real
0.58
01:34:57.920
i mean i i told her that she's gonna have to come to one of these things soon but because it's like
01:35:01.840
yes she's like no way it is very much like any woman is going like i don't care you go
0.98
01:35:08.240
have a weekend to yourself with you oh no she's very much like what the
0.99
01:35:12.240
fuck like like she's not like just go off for a week we are we are 27 we're 27 months deep into
0.99
01:35:19.040
the show and none of us have ever seen her i just only met each other a few times i've met you a
0.99
01:35:27.760
jose's ex-military probably if we're gonna be honest but he's ex-military and he knows way too
01:35:33.760
much about okc yeah there's a lot of there's a lot of stuff going on here limited hangout jose
01:35:40.400
limited hangout the cia did it that's quite a limited hangout
01:35:45.840
the cia killed you all killed the 170 ish people all right since you guys didn't want to do it i'm just
0.98
01:35:51.360
gonna do it so i'm or we'll end with this i'm pitching fucking uh coors light ad campaigns
0.99
01:35:56.800
oh yeah to try and recover their brand we like our beard just like we like our women
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01:36:03.520
light never dark but light but light for when you need something to set your cross on fire
01:36:10.480
no there's no there's no setting on fire i feel like if i was supposed to come up with a little
01:36:23.360
like advertising pitch that's not on the fly thing you need to tell me about this ahead of time okay
01:36:29.600
black people never get subway in the middle of winter and then have someone run up on them and
01:36:34.400
say this is mega country but when they do they drink bud light what do you need a nice ice cold
0.99
01:36:41.360
bottle to smash over a black person's head but that's right the only thing they can do right now
1.00
01:36:47.440
to save themselves is like uh endorse trump and like like like behind trump is just like bud light signs
0.99
01:36:52.880
and stuff i think that's the only way you can get people to forget because like trump people are kind
0.96
01:36:57.120
of dumb like that uh remember uh budweiser uh the company created by a bunch of
0.99
01:37:04.240
germans they hate the jews but light jesus christ you are so autistic you thought that
1.00
01:37:10.960
like you just like said like i don't just like there wasn't like any sort of
01:37:16.480
i don't even know how to explain that was just like no performance there what's incredible it was
01:37:20.080
just i'm saying the the actual ingredients of the the joke and just saying it like as opposed to
01:37:25.440
actually formulating in any way i love the i love the thought that toad has all the ingredients
01:37:31.600
to every joke it's just that he comes out like i always have all the ingredients and i don't know
01:37:38.240
how to uh cook i don't know how to season his jokes that's exactly he's a white person let me all
01:37:45.280
right let me cook for you toad um i'm watching hold on hold on uh the preferred beverage of the third
01:37:52.960
rack based bud light it's just quick just quick yeah hammer it up fair enough i really think you
01:37:59.600
could i mean you'd be like when it bud light for when you need an excuse for whenever you grab them by
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the pussy i feel like you gotta i was i would i would drink bud light that would be the most
1.00
01:38:13.280
awesome heel turn just like hard right like shit exploding everything has like kid rock in the
1.00
01:38:18.160
commercial yeah i'm gonna drink this i don't give a i legit don't give a fuck i would still just as
0.99
01:38:22.640
likely buy bud light if i wanted to although i don't promise like i don't i don't like the taste
0.93
01:38:26.800
of bud light i don't know if they had kick-ass right-wing commercials would you wouldn't buy one
01:38:32.160
which you'd like when your boys yeah look at this is the brand like this is the brand i know this is
01:38:36.160
actually this is actually gay the only thing i would like is the bud light seltzers like i really i just
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01:38:41.600
had a really good idea guys if bud light wants to recover their brand and let's be honest they're on the ropes
01:38:48.160
there is one comedy podcast on earth you could sponsor right now that would really turn things
01:38:53.600
around you're watching it i'd be fucking hilarious if we if we became the bud light sponsored but
0.89
01:39:02.480
that's true they could go the total opposite way they could completely lean i'm not gonna lie
01:39:07.680
i've actually like the last couple times i've gone to the grocery store i've looked in the beer aisle
01:39:12.480
to see how much the bud light is because i was like i kept hearing it's super cheap and i'm like
01:39:16.800
well i mean i don't even really like my life but if it's like dirt cheap like i don't know they
0.80
01:39:22.240
were giving away here uh like certificates to refund or whatever i didn't see no shit it was normal
0.97
01:39:28.000
price no deals no nothing i was like the fuck this was there was it was there a ton of it there was
0.97
01:39:32.320
it like it was funny yeah okay but i'm like was there more of it than the other brands i don't know i
0.96
01:39:37.680
wasn't comparing and contrasting i mean well that's the whole reason you should look i didn't give a
0.70
01:39:43.120
he's a fed he's fucking lying i just want cheap beer and there wasn't i walked away i didn't ever
0.98
01:39:48.080
like it i was in bj's the other day and i did remember i forgot to tell you i saw a short-haired
0.99
01:39:54.080
lesbian with like short khaki shorts on and flip-flops and she was like defiantly pushing like just one
1.00
01:40:00.160
case of course light or whatever that shit is bud light in in her carriage after she bought it it was
0.97
01:40:04.320
like like she's like i'm oh she was the target audience she was yeah she doesn't even want that
0.99
01:40:10.320
shit she did she just got thrown away whatever what nationality what nationality was she white
1.00
01:40:15.360
fucking white what do you mean oh she was white russian probably no no but that's not even true
1.00
01:40:19.840
though i think because uh don't the lesbians hate the trans yes yeah i think they did mom they're
1.00
01:40:26.080
women no but i think women just hate all women yeah yeah i mean oh that's true clint that was pretty
1.00
01:40:33.360
good that's fair i mean honestly they're real women so they're real women because women hate them
1.00
01:40:40.400
that's how you know we proved it we proved it yeah all right you ready to sign off on this one
01:40:46.000
they're not sending their best but like we're out i like the idea of keeping on dragging jose into deep
0.99
01:40:51.920
water just like like everyone here's tired but we're like fuck you jose until he loses his mind and
0.99
01:40:57.600
just logs off that's right keep milking this cow it's all out of milk
0.99
01:41:03.360
yeah uh this is clint ruff will be locked down go subscribe to liberty lock down i will hopefully
01:41:08.080
uh so stay tuned you're muffled yeah i don't know what happened whenever the music comes on
01:41:16.880
and clint goes he's muffled right away yeah you need to like wait for the audio all right do you do your
01:41:21.680
plugs again all right liberty lockdown i will be headed to virginia next thursday through saturday
01:41:26.720
you may see me on irl we'll find out and hopefully i'm signing on with tim cas but make sure in the
01:41:31.360
meantime that you get me to 14 000 fucking subscribers because i've been frozen at 13
0.98
01:41:35.120
nine for like a goddamn month let's go bitch oh yeah uh you can catch me uh i don't even care
1.00
01:41:42.640
don't don't follow me on any of my socials i just want to plug josie's new podcast that's going to be
0.99
01:41:46.400
coming out on uh spaces i think maybe merch engine at merch engine.com oh no we're plugging josie guys
01:41:53.440
josie's having a podcast go check that out don't worry she's more important than all of us let's go
01:41:58.000
yeah that's it it's gonna be great she's gonna have the biggest people the biggest shows tim
01:42:01.360
castle all that stuff all right who's next uh jose galison of the no way jose show um on youtube
01:42:07.120
all major all podcasts obviously as well on friday i'll be going on pat gray's show uh pat
01:42:12.480
gray unleashed i believe uh part of like a three-part presentation where uh you know there's charles key
01:42:20.160
one of uh timothy mcveigh's uh lawyers and me will all be giving like a big old okc presentation
01:42:25.600
it's kind of a big deal it's a blaze network show uh yeah it's really cool uh it's also on
01:42:30.400
radio so pretty dope yeah it's one of those ones you're like huh who's that guy and when you look
01:42:34.640
and you're like oh shit he's been around for a long time and he actually has kind of a big audience
01:42:38.400
it's wild i'm just weird i'm happy for you you're gonna crush it no i i'm the same way i was like who
0.99
01:42:42.640
the fuck is this guy and i looked at him like oh yeah he was like a long time go host uh fucking he's
0.99
01:42:47.440
from the old radio days and you're like oh shit it's actually a big dog but all right yeah sleeping on him
1.00
01:42:52.560
but oh yeah that's all i got absolutely back on twitter um and then go follow ron desantis he's
0.98
01:42:57.920
gonna uh he's killing it man he's killing it that's right josh every time i read that i get
01:43:02.880
fucking pissed off yeah yeah yeah i'll be on glenn next week all right who says howdy what the
0.99
01:43:09.600
fuck you might be tone on twitter i am on jose's show i believe tomorrow night continuing our hop
1.00
01:43:15.760
uh live reading so uh check that out i think tyler's being facetious with you he's a dick like that
1.00
01:43:21.200
tyler he's never been sincere in his life that's the first time incredible i'm his favorite go
0.93
01:43:27.760
subscribe to the tower gang locals we're on locals now we're towering pod everywhere but it's tower
01:43:32.720
gang dot locals.com hey hey seriously though you guys need to give us more money okay because like
01:43:38.320
this is this isn't a fucking charity event we are here bleeding for you i want every single night
0.98
01:43:44.080
locals.com tower gang pod or something you need to sign up we're gonna use this money and you need
0.98
01:43:51.440
to give us money to go meet each other in yeah we're gonna get that money we're gonna get that
01:43:56.240
money and then we're gonna fucking fly to the same place together we're gonna invite you in grace to
0.90
01:44:01.440
hang out with us yeah that's what we're gonna do more money actually that would be a great whoever is
01:44:05.600
the highest supporter so get an invite my house that would actually be a good idea depending on who
01:44:11.920
you are maybe yeah we'll be like no you know who's the second highest all right unless you're josh
0.99
01:44:17.440
smith's 69 420th child then we'll invite you yeah yeah fuck that guy little dick take us out with random
1.00
01:44:24.400
please yeah dylan mulvaney he's just gonna commit suicide anyway bud line it's the tower power hour
1.00
01:44:30.400
slut no way jose liberty lockdown plint reed cole top lobster and toad tower gang tower gang tower
0.78
01:44:46.320
gang tower gang tower gang tower gang tower gang tower gang liberty lock is truth say same with lobster
0.89
01:44:51.840
cole and jose toad is sick no way jose the tower power hour they made day spent all his tower gang
01:44:58.800
tower gang tower gang tower gang tower gang tower gang tower gang tower gang tower gang tower gang
01:45:04.800
they speak courage you spend more than rogan you fed you fed truth bomb weather tim cast hotel
01:45:11.280
more offensive los no disrespect more offensive than ls no disrespect yes redhead libertarian is their
01:45:18.080
best friend unless they get raided then they never met never met none of this should be new to me
01:45:23.280
clint is a sexual brood to me sorry no booster seat get them tall boots on you not a mission
0.99
01:45:27.440
fuck every podcast that won't soup to me libertarian won't be the same day revolutiony that's a word
0.99
01:45:32.320
i miss grammar and send it to rhyme dubitably that to promote myself on their shot stupidly comedy
1.00
01:45:37.680
philosophy mark random.com user free random i'm single lady so please choose me they scream tower gang
01:45:43.840
worldwide tower gang rise together we will overthrow tower gang tower gang tower gang tower gang tower gang
01:45:50.240
liberty lock is truth say same with lobster colon jose toad is sick no way jose if you read i ride jose
01:46:00.480
with jose pay me dates with all his fame tower gang tower gang tower gang tower gang tower gang
01:46:06.320
game tower gang tower gang tower gang tower gang tower gang tower gang
0.92