Tower Gang - Ep 127 - Ribble Bibble

00:00:00.000 Motherfucker.

00:00:02.000 What's up, retards?

00:00:04.000 I'm trying to start a cult here, baby.

00:00:06.000 So I can only fit a third of my dick into Toad's...

00:00:10.000 ...mussy.

00:00:12.000 You wanna kill me or you wanna give me a bone?

00:00:14.000 I don't know.

00:00:16.000 When I say fuck the Jews, it means I'm horny.

00:00:18.000 Woe is me, I'm retarded.

00:00:20.000 Any of you guys ever had the mythical where they put the whole thing in and then do that shit where they're...

00:00:24.000 The three of you had a threesome of some kind.

00:00:28.000 I was watching it and jerking off.

00:00:32.000 You fucking asshole.

00:00:34.000 Toad's on fire!

00:00:36.000 She was a 10 in real life.

00:00:38.000 She's like a dead 8.

00:00:42.000 Louis, you're like a brother to me.

00:00:44.000 Donald Trump, come on Tower Gang.

00:00:46.000 Tower Gang is the most offensive podcast.

00:00:48.000 Fat Dave, fuck you, man.

00:00:56.000 It's not what this show is about.

00:00:57.000 This shit is retarded.

00:00:59.000 Like...

00:01:01.000 Wee!

00:01:03.000 It's 9-11 Wednesday and you know what that means, you fucking stupid bitches.

00:01:07.000 It's Tower Gang time.

00:01:09.000 Yeah!

00:01:10.000 Yeah, you sons of bitches!

00:01:12.000 It's Tower Gang time!

00:01:13.000 I have been waiting all fucking week for this.

00:01:15.000 By the way, over 10,000 people watched their own Benjamin episode.

00:01:18.000 If this is the second episode you've ever watched of this show, strap the fuck in.

00:01:22.000 Strap your fucking dick to your kneecap and prepare yourself.

00:01:26.000 Open up your keister.

00:01:28.000 Get ready for the fucking harsh entrance of Tower Gang.

00:01:31.000 As always, we are joined by Fat Comic Dave, AKA Cole.

00:01:35.000 He lifts a lot, so we don't laugh a lot.

00:01:38.000 What?

00:01:39.000 We've got Tower Gang, Jose, AKA Jose Galisson.

00:01:42.000 What's up?

00:01:43.000 What's up?

00:01:44.000 What's up?

00:01:45.000 Toad!

00:01:46.000 You guys pulled it off.

00:01:48.000 Thank you, man.

00:01:49.000 Thank you, man.

00:01:50.000 It was immense pressure.

00:01:52.000 I'm glad that you couldn't handle it and you just bailed on this right before we started.

00:01:55.000 I still stand by.

00:01:56.000 I made the right move.

00:01:57.000 I think one more person would have been too many people to mix.

00:02:00.000 I have no clue why.

00:02:01.000 You were adamant about this.

00:02:02.000 No, I swear.

00:02:03.000 I'm telling you.

00:02:04.000 I mean, it depends on the guests.

00:02:05.000 It is a stism.

00:02:06.000 But you can't do six people.

00:02:07.000 It depends on the guests.

00:02:08.000 Unless you already have built-in rapport or you know.

00:02:11.000 But I know how Owen's vibe was and I knew there was no way we're going to build a sixth person there and not make it ridiculous.

00:02:16.000 Hey, Hamza.

00:02:17.000 I'm glad.

00:02:18.000 You don't call Top Lobster fucking Arab.

00:02:20.000 All right?

00:02:21.000 We got Toad.

00:02:22.000 He used a hard R, too.

00:02:23.000 But his name is Hamza.

00:02:25.000 Top Lobster.

00:02:26.000 Yeah, Top Lobster.

00:02:27.000 And an Arab knows an Arab.

00:02:29.000 Wow.

00:02:30.000 Surprisingly, we're joined once again by Toad.

00:02:33.000 Again, fighting suicidal tendencies to make it for another Wednesday.

00:02:38.000 God bless him for joining us and Top Lobster.

00:02:41.000 I'm here.

00:02:44.000 I'm alive.

00:02:45.000 Host of Top Lobster.com.

00:02:47.000 What's up, guys?

00:02:48.000 What's going on, man?

00:02:49.000 What's up?

00:02:50.000 I kind of want to start.

00:02:51.000 This is, again, like we pick subjects and we're like, we'll hit this.

00:02:54.000 We'll hit that.

00:02:55.000 But just in the pre-chat, we were talking about Cole and I think we may have stumbled upon a theory.

00:03:00.000 It's like everybody's had their moments in the last couple of weeks.

00:03:04.000 Toad has had his moments.

00:03:05.000 It's crazy.

00:03:06.000 We gave him his fucking banger button.

00:03:07.000 Toad with a banger.

00:03:08.000 But I mean, dude, the only one who hasn't had a moment in a long time is Cole.

00:03:13.000 Not only that, but Cole has missed like a couple of the huge moments.

00:03:18.000 He leaves and we do the chicken washers.

00:03:20.000 My wife has to beat me every night.

00:03:23.000 When he's not here, chicken washers happens.

00:03:25.000 That's what I'm saying.

00:03:27.000 Hey, I had fucking plasma a couple of weeks ago.

00:03:30.000 I mean, that wasn't too long ago.

00:03:31.000 That was like seven and a half months ago, dude.

00:03:33.000 You fuck off.

00:03:34.000 But you had plasma?

00:03:35.000 Like you took it this time?

00:03:36.000 I still have plasma right now.

00:03:38.000 Dude, it is wild when I think about how long the show's been going.

00:03:42.000 Like, because I think back, oh, 2020?

00:03:44.000 Jesus Christ.

00:03:45.000 Plasma is before episode 100 and we're episode 127.

00:03:50.000 That's half a year.

00:03:51.000 It's six months.

00:03:53.000 You just took off.

00:03:54.000 I was like, I see you, boy.

00:03:56.000 He's been here, but he's been on vacation this entire time.

00:03:59.000 He's just phoning it in.

00:04:00.000 He's just phoning it in.

00:04:01.000 We have a bigger theory about Cole.

00:04:03.000 See?

00:04:04.000 And it's not that he's phoning in because he, look at that sincerity on this motherfucker's

00:04:08.000 face, man.

00:04:09.000 I mean, he, oh, sorry.

00:04:10.000 I took him out.

00:04:11.000 You asshole.

00:04:12.000 Like, you know what?

00:04:14.000 Fuck him.

00:04:15.000 He's gone.

00:04:16.000 That sincerity that I'm talking about there, it doesn't leave him.

00:04:20.000 So he's not going to like, like just skimp on work.

00:04:22.000 He's going to do the work when he shows up to the gang.

00:04:25.000 The problem is that he's doing too much work in the gym.

00:04:28.000 And look at this guy.

00:04:29.000 I did.

00:04:30.000 I did.

00:04:31.000 I put it.

00:04:32.000 I go hardcore every fucking day.

00:04:33.000 He's elite.

00:04:34.000 Wouldn't you say he's elite, Jose?

00:04:35.000 I'm elite.

00:04:36.000 I'd say he's on the higher end of advance, at least.

00:04:41.000 Fucking elite, baby.

00:04:42.000 Anyway, the theory, the theory, the theory, the theory, the theory, the theory.

00:04:45.000 The theory is the more jacked Cole gets, the less fun.

00:04:49.000 It's the Jonah Hill effect.

00:04:50.000 Yeah.

00:04:51.000 The less funny and likable he gets.

00:04:53.000 Whoa, whoa, whoa.

00:04:54.000 Likeable?

00:04:55.000 No, yeah.

00:04:56.000 I can't stand to look at you.

00:04:57.000 I like you less.

00:04:58.000 Yeah.

00:04:59.000 Well, this is a common theory.

00:05:00.000 Jealousy is a hell of a drug, boys.

00:05:02.000 Look, we're not the first people to come up with this theory, and it doesn't really have

00:05:05.000 to do with being jacked.

00:05:06.000 It has to do with losing weight, because fat people are inherently funny, and then when

00:05:10.000 they lose weight, they just look kind of off and weird.

00:05:13.000 I want to point this out.

00:05:14.000 I want to point this out, that Big Jay Oakerson has been talking about taking Ozempic, and

00:05:18.000 he's going to lose weight.

00:05:19.000 Don't do it.

00:05:20.000 If we see him dead down and funny, he's going to fall apart.

00:05:23.000 Yeah.

00:05:24.000 I mean, I could.

00:05:25.000 No, no.

00:05:26.000 You just can't do tummy time with a skinny figure.

00:05:29.000 It just doesn't work.

00:05:30.000 No.

00:05:31.000 Big Jay, he'd be just as funny, and you could still call him Big Jay because he's like 6'3

00:05:35.000 or something.

00:05:36.000 He would be just as funny because he would be flabby fat.

00:05:39.000 No, he says he's working out, too.

00:05:40.000 It would be stupid fat.

00:05:41.000 He says he's working out, too.

00:05:42.000 Yeah.

00:05:43.000 He's got to be careful.

00:05:44.000 He's not going to be fucking funny.

00:05:45.000 Well, that's the other thing.

00:05:47.000 Now I'm thinking about going on a Zipik as well, just getting really shredded.

00:05:50.000 Just getting down to 150.

00:05:51.000 Oh, you want to be totally boring.

00:05:53.000 Awesome.

00:05:54.000 Yeah.

00:05:55.000 Just come on, and all I do is just come on shirtless and nothing else, and just sit

00:05:59.000 here for an hour and a half.

00:06:01.000 Just eye candy.

00:06:02.000 You can just be our stationary Chad.

00:06:04.000 You just sit in the corner.

00:06:05.000 You just stand there.

00:06:06.000 How crazy is that?

00:06:07.000 It is the hot girl effect, too.

00:06:09.000 The hotter the girl, the less good her intelligence level and her personality has to be.

00:06:16.000 You're becoming the hot girl of Tower Gang, and it's not working out for you.

00:06:20.000 Oh, it's like-

00:06:21.000 Wait, wait, wait.

00:06:22.000 So where would you put your wives on that scale, Toppin' Jose?

00:06:25.000 No, yeah.

00:06:26.000 Just ruin your marriages right now.

00:06:27.000 No, dude.

00:06:28.000 Just fucking, I don't know.

00:06:29.000 My wife's not.

00:06:30.000 Jose doesn't care.

00:06:31.000 Jose will be like, my broad's a fucking idiot.

00:06:32.000 She's hot.

00:06:33.000 No, this makes sense.

00:06:34.000 She's like retarded, but also really smart.

00:06:37.000 Like, my wife is any like higher concepts that's when she gets retarded, but like-

00:06:40.000 Are you married to Cole?

00:06:41.000 Yeah, right?

00:06:42.000 But like practical, like day-to-day things, she's great.

00:06:46.000 I'm not.

00:06:47.000 He's set.

00:06:48.000 No, he's set.

00:06:49.000 You didn't even realize the trap that he's set for us, and I feel like we have to answer.

00:06:52.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:06:53.000 He's saying like, either your wife has a shit personality, or she's really hot.

00:06:57.000 Yeah.

00:06:58.000 So that's what he's asking you, and I'm trying to figure out how to answer.

00:07:00.000 Oh, my wife can be a bitch, so, but then she's hot, so it completely lines up.

00:07:06.000 I wasn't worried about Jose.

00:07:08.000 This is more for Todd, because Jose will be like, yeah, like I said-

00:07:11.000 My wife ain't watching this shit.

00:07:12.000 If she does, I'm like, okay.

00:07:14.000 We should go around the horn and say which of your wives we like best and least.

00:07:19.000 Oh, Jesus, no.

00:07:21.000 That doesn't count, Clint, because Jose's wife doesn't exist.

00:07:25.000 Yeah, none of us have ever met her.

00:07:27.000 How can we comment on her if she-

00:07:29.000 Why the fuck would I introduce my wife to you guys?

00:07:31.000 I don't even let her watch this show.

00:07:33.000 Oh, by the way-

00:07:34.000 She's not on Twitter.

00:07:35.000 I barely let her out of the basement.

00:07:37.000 That's why my choice is Jose's wife, because she's the one who isn't real and doesn't exist.

00:07:42.000 This woman should be seen and not heard, except unless you're mean.

00:07:46.000 Even in a hypothetical, Toad found a way not to get laid.

00:07:51.000 Incredible.

00:07:52.000 But at the very least, I don't subject you to her bullshit, unlike you guys.

00:07:57.000 I will say-

00:07:58.000 No, no, go ahead.

00:07:59.000 Elizabeth, you're not winning this fight.

00:08:01.000 Whose wife do you like the most out of all of our wives?

00:08:04.000 Oh, yours by far, Top.

00:08:06.000 Mine?

00:08:07.000 Yeah.

00:08:08.000 I like Cole and Top's wife, but for different reasons.

00:08:11.000 Out of all your wives and my wife?

00:08:13.000 I want a stone-cold stunner Cole's wife badly.

00:08:16.000 Well, I actually like Elizabeth the most, over my wife.

00:08:21.000 My wife doesn't say nigger all the time.

00:08:23.000 Top, no, this is great.

00:08:24.000 Top, I choose your wife.

00:08:25.000 You choose my wife.

00:08:26.000 I think we're golden there.

00:08:27.000 I think that cancels out.

00:08:28.000 I just have a whoresome start.

00:08:29.000 Yeah, well, and I've seen Cole and his wife in a threesome, so I think I have to choose

00:08:34.000 Cole's wife.

00:08:35.000 Oh, that's true.

00:08:36.000 I didn't think about that.

00:08:37.000 I mean, you've already done seen them titties.

00:08:38.000 What do you mean?

00:08:39.000 Yeah.

00:08:40.000 Well, in a blacked out state, yeah.

00:08:42.000 But-

00:08:43.000 Do you remember them?

00:08:44.000 It's subconscious.

00:08:45.000 It's there somewhere.

00:08:46.000 He reaches down real hard every day.

00:08:50.000 He finds and he brings up and he jerks off.

00:08:52.000 If we could bring in a sketch artist, could you describe it to him?

00:08:57.000 Yeah, she has no areolas.

00:08:59.000 We know that.

00:09:00.000 Wow.

00:09:01.000 Wow.

00:09:02.000 Okay, this is enough.

00:09:03.000 This is enough, you fucking degenerate.

00:09:04.000 How dare you?

00:09:05.000 I have even less areolas.

00:09:06.000 I don't think I've ever-

00:09:07.000 Oh, dude.

00:09:08.000 I mean, it's like nothing, dude.

00:09:09.000 Dude, I did have-

00:09:10.000 Same.

00:09:11.000 Nothing.

00:09:12.000 It's crazy.

00:09:13.000 My wife says white power a lot.

00:09:15.000 Dude, have you ever had a chick be like, yeah, like I had a double mastectomy or whatever,

00:09:20.000 I don't have any nipples.

00:09:21.000 And then she just whips out her nipple-less tits.

00:09:23.000 You're hanging around to me, Tranny's Toad.

00:09:25.000 What kind of fucking bars are you frequenting over there in Boston?

00:09:28.000 It's just like some bunch of parable-ledged chicks walking in there.

00:09:32.000 I don't know.

00:09:33.000 That was at Tom Woods 2000.

00:09:35.000 Wait, you had a chick at Tom Woods 2000 show you her mastectomy?

00:09:40.000 Her ticulous tits?

00:09:41.000 Really?

00:09:42.000 Her ticulous tits?

00:09:43.000 Yeah.

00:09:44.000 Was it a guy or a girl?

00:09:45.000 Does she have cancer?

00:09:46.000 Are those not like super weird?

00:09:47.000 You pass your note.

00:09:48.000 Yeah, he doesn't have nipples either.

00:09:49.000 Jesus.

00:09:50.000 But she doesn't have nipples.

00:09:51.000 Why is she talking shit?

00:09:52.000 She has nipples.

00:09:53.000 No, she has nipples but no areolas.

00:09:55.000 Right.

00:09:56.000 I got nothing.

00:09:57.000 They created a job with just smooth jets.

00:09:58.000 So it's just one nipple then, right?

00:09:59.000 That's what you're saying?

00:10:00.000 Yeah, it's just a nipple coming out.

00:10:01.000 Nice.

00:10:02.000 Just a nipple.

00:10:03.000 It's like a weird, bizarre mole that pops out of nowhere.

00:10:05.000 It's like that long.

00:10:08.000 I bet Toad would get hard at the White House.

00:10:09.000 I bet, honestly, because I think we're going to bring this up about Jesse, who is that?

00:10:17.000 The white, not white nationalist.

00:10:19.000 The right wing guy that was just like, I'm not going to lie.

00:10:23.000 That she was hot?

00:10:24.000 I double took it.

00:10:25.000 She had nice tits.

00:10:26.000 Or he, she had nice tits.

00:10:28.000 I thought it was a girl.

00:10:29.000 Oh, Jesse Kelly.

00:10:30.000 Jesse Kelly, that's a thing.

00:10:31.000 Oh, are you talking about the tranny that was on the White House?

00:10:33.000 Yeah.

00:10:34.000 He was like, I'm not going to lie.

00:10:35.000 Those were nice tits.

00:10:36.000 I mean, for knowing that that's a dude, nice tits.

00:10:39.000 For a chick, I'm like, no, those are some fake boobs.

00:10:42.000 Dude, I thought it was a chick.

00:10:43.000 I got a boner.

00:10:44.000 And then it's like, no, that's a dude.

00:10:45.000 And I'm like, stay down.

00:10:46.000 Come on.

00:10:47.000 You had that early 2000s internet porn type of thing happen to you.

00:10:52.000 By the way, I do want to say we were talking in the behind Cole's back group chat.

00:10:58.000 And we were debating whether we should fire him because he has lost a lot of funny.

00:11:01.000 But we may be going to a new format soon, and we need the flexibility for the addition of the host.

00:11:06.000 So because of that catch-all, we're keeping.

00:11:09.000 No, I do want to point this out.

00:11:10.000 On the me not being funny thing, I didn't realize that I had a setting on streamer turned on that caused me to get drowned out.

00:11:17.000 He's lying.

00:11:18.000 He's been phoning it in.

00:11:19.000 I'm not lying.

00:11:20.000 All of my jokes have been suppressed by the audio suppression.

00:11:22.000 I didn't know last week.

00:11:23.000 I was multiple times.

00:11:24.000 The man's getting drowned.

00:11:25.000 We live in a democratic state.

00:11:27.000 Look what they're doing to me.

00:11:28.000 The fucking Jews, man.

00:11:30.000 They said shut it down every time I had a joke.

00:11:34.000 Yeah.

00:11:35.000 You know how there's the hot, crazy matrix for women?

00:11:38.000 For men, it's like the thin, funny matrix.

00:11:43.000 But you guys did kind of step on those getting out there.

00:11:45.000 You're either one or the other.

00:11:46.000 I do want to let you guys know there's a solid chance we may be going to two episodes a week soon.

00:11:50.000 I'm not giving you any more details.

00:11:51.000 There's more news to come.

00:11:52.000 Hey, if you want us to go to two days a week, I need you to hit the like button right now.

00:11:58.000 Hit the like button on this episode.

00:11:59.000 Thank you.

00:12:00.000 Hit the like button.

00:12:01.000 If you want us to go two days a week, type in your social security.

00:12:02.000 If you want us to stretch this out even more and try to just squeeze the funny out of everything,

00:12:07.000 just fucking keep getting blood out of that stone, hit the like button.

00:12:11.000 Yeah, stretch us out like Goatsy.

00:12:13.000 Well, we're thinking we're going to go to what we do normally and then an additional episode that's more like guests and stuff.

00:12:19.000 Because we have complained before about like guests are off the vibe, but then we have one a week.

00:12:23.000 You know, we get a bit of both.

00:12:24.000 So that's kind of roughly the idea.

00:12:25.000 Have you seen two a week before?

00:12:27.000 We've done it before when we were like...

00:12:28.000 We've done like a couple weeks at two weeks for special events.

00:12:31.000 No, we got over like...

00:12:32.000 We did a bunch.

00:12:33.000 We had a ton of people asking to come on like that one summer.

00:12:37.000 If you want to stretch, go on.

00:12:38.000 Yeah.

00:12:39.000 Back when we actually...

00:12:40.000 I love to be stretched out.

00:12:41.000 If I could just add a couple inches, that'd be great.

00:12:42.000 I'll stretch it up, buddy.

00:12:43.000 You know what's weird?

00:12:44.000 Like, we're crushing it in a way that we have never crushed it before.

00:12:48.000 And yet we don't get so many guest requests anymore.

00:12:50.000 It's interesting.

00:12:51.000 It's weird.

00:12:52.000 It's like people have given up.

00:12:53.000 I have no idea why.

00:12:54.000 Is it because I have everybody blocked?

00:12:57.000 Yeah.

00:12:58.000 It's like nobody's asking to come on.

00:13:00.000 It's like nobody...

00:13:01.000 No one can talk to you, Clint.

00:13:03.000 You have them blocked.

00:13:05.000 They're terrified of me.

00:13:07.000 I mean...

00:13:08.000 Yeah, that makes sense.

00:13:09.000 Oh, man.

00:13:10.000 I'm angry the garbage man is bringing up in the chat.

00:13:12.000 The one episode that I was not on.

00:13:15.000 And I know that from...

00:13:17.000 That's incredible that you remember that.

00:13:19.000 Holy shit.

00:13:20.000 You need to find some more...

00:13:21.000 I do want to shout out...

00:13:22.000 Talking about old episodes, I'm going to shout out...

00:13:25.000 Oh, I had his name before.

00:13:27.000 It was Bipper Dipper, I think his name is.

00:13:29.000 Bipper Dipper, yeah.

00:13:30.000 I think it's Bipper Dipper.

00:13:32.000 He's been going through the fucking catalog on Odyssey

00:13:35.000 and been commenting.

00:13:36.000 Thank you, Bipper Dipper.

00:13:37.000 It was great.

00:13:38.000 Bipper Dipper.

00:13:39.000 Literally, episode one.

00:13:40.000 He went back in episode four.

00:13:41.000 He commented.

00:13:42.000 I totally forgot that we did those episodes.

00:13:43.000 And to commemorate him, Faggot of the Week, Bipper Dipper.

00:13:45.000 Bipper Dipper.

00:13:46.000 Bipper Dipper.

00:13:47.000 He went back to the catalog of watching this.

00:13:50.000 You fucking loser.

00:13:51.000 In order.

00:13:52.000 Congratulations.

00:13:53.000 What are you doing with your life on Odyssey 2?

00:13:55.000 Not even on the worst platform.

00:13:57.000 He's writing recipes and diets on there.

00:13:59.000 They're like fucking paragraph long.

00:14:00.000 Oh, yeah.

00:14:01.000 What are you doing, dude?

00:14:02.000 What are you doing, dude?

00:14:03.000 Yeah, what?

00:14:04.000 Keep it up.

00:14:05.000 Keep it up.

00:14:06.000 Bipper Dipper.

00:14:07.000 Show me your foreskin right now.

00:14:08.000 Prove it.

00:14:09.000 Yeah, Bipper Dipper.

00:14:10.000 Are you in the YouTube chat?

00:14:12.000 Give us a chat right now.

00:14:13.000 No, if he's watching on Odyssey, he's definitely not in the YouTube chat.

00:14:16.000 We don't care about YouTube anymore.

00:14:17.000 Or about Odyssey anymore.

00:14:18.000 What's funny is Bipper Dipper, who probably just watched his first episode with Owen,

00:14:21.000 has watched more Tower Gang episodes than me.

00:14:24.000 So that's...

00:14:25.000 Yeah, you don't watch the show, right?

00:14:26.000 I don't watch the show.

00:14:27.000 No, I don't.

00:14:28.000 I can't.

00:14:29.000 I don't know.

00:14:30.000 Could that have a reason you're funny?

00:14:31.000 Maybe that's why you're not getting better.

00:14:32.000 I haven't watched the show since the beginning.

00:14:34.000 Maybe that's why you're...

00:14:35.000 Like, I never...

00:14:36.000 That's probably why you're falling apart.

00:14:38.000 It's like...

00:14:39.000 Yes, it's true.

00:14:40.000 You never took any notes, never made any adjustments, never thought about,

00:14:43.000 maybe I should do this differently.

00:14:45.000 Just what I'm doing.

00:14:46.000 Just roll-dogging every time, coming in.

00:14:49.000 Just...

00:14:50.000 Cole's like that prodigy that just gets into the NBA and just stops training at all.

00:14:54.000 I'm John Morant, actually.

00:14:56.000 I'm just gonna...

00:14:57.000 I'm just gonna start flashing guns, which I do.

00:15:00.000 He's in the...

00:15:01.000 He's in that section.

00:15:02.000 He's in the arc of his story.

00:15:04.000 I liked it.

00:15:05.000 Cole's in the arc of his story where he starts to, like, lose steam, but then he's

00:15:09.000 gotta find his motivation and pick back up again.

00:15:11.000 That's where you...

00:15:12.000 I'm still waiting for him to hit rock bottom.

00:15:14.000 It hasn't happened yet, but soon.

00:15:15.000 So we...

00:15:16.000 I can't imagine what rock bottom for me would be like.

00:15:18.000 We were talking about...

00:15:19.000 We were talking about...

00:15:20.000 Get fired from a third job or some of the shit like that.

00:15:21.000 Cole, if you hit rock bottom, we can't, like, demote you.

00:15:26.000 You have to go.

00:15:27.000 Like, you're gonna get kicked off the show because we already have a toad.

00:15:29.000 So they can't be two toads.

00:15:30.000 Yeah, we can't have two suicidal people.

00:15:32.000 Ooh.

00:15:33.000 Yeah.

00:15:34.000 Dude, we should just...

00:15:35.000 You know, I'm not gonna be suicidal.

00:15:36.000 I'm not gonna flip over to the other side and be suicidal.

00:15:37.000 Look, Cole, I thought you would always be funny, but you're not.

00:15:40.000 So...

00:15:41.000 We should slowly replace all these guests with better versions of themselves.

00:15:43.000 It's gonna be.

00:15:44.000 Like, Toad with Perry Abbasi.

00:15:45.000 And I don't know who we'd replace Cole with.

00:15:47.000 I have a struggle to think of it.

00:15:48.000 Cole was just a labyrinth.

00:15:50.000 We replaced...

00:15:51.000 This is gonna make me suicidal.

00:15:52.000 You saying I'm not funny.

00:15:53.000 Then we're like, what else do I bring?

00:15:55.000 Dude, we were...

00:15:56.000 It's obvious.

00:15:57.000 My whole life, this is what I gave to my groups of friends.

00:16:00.000 Dude, it's obvious who we replaced Cole with because you need a funny, jacked manlet,

00:16:05.000 so it's Joe Rogan.

00:16:06.000 Come on to our gang.

00:16:07.000 Let's go.

00:16:08.000 Okay, you're aiming a little high here.

00:16:09.000 Am I?

00:16:10.000 I think we can pull off Perry, but I don't think we can pull off...

00:16:12.000 Do you think Joe Rogan would even be good in this context?

00:16:16.000 If he was willing to fucking roll, but I don't think he'd be able to roll like that.

00:16:20.000 I think the closest it gets is his protect our parks and...

00:16:24.000 I'm gonna be honest, he's not invited, so fucking...

00:16:26.000 I don't know.

00:16:27.000 You didn't convince me.

00:16:28.000 Imagine if he asked, come on, we'd be like, no, please, please, come on.

00:16:32.000 Haven't you seen Joe Rogan's nigger montage, though?

00:16:36.000 Yes.

00:16:37.000 Yeah, that was a fluke.

00:16:38.000 But also, it wasn't funny.

00:16:40.000 It was just him.

00:16:41.000 That was hilarious.

00:16:43.000 For different reasons.

00:16:45.000 Hilarious, yes.

00:16:47.000 If there's a such thing as a retarded golden retriever, I would love to own one.

00:16:51.000 It'd be hilarious.

00:16:52.000 I mean, how much do you want to buy me for?

00:16:55.000 Hey, little Dicky, you want to bring up that video of the drunk lady?

00:16:59.000 Because we were just talking about wives, and we found a video of Liz after being date-raped

00:17:05.000 and dropped off on the wrong side of town.

00:17:07.000 And just kind of coming to, like, what the fuck is going on here?

00:17:10.000 This is for real Liz.

00:17:12.000 This is for real Liz.

00:17:13.000 This is absolutely...

00:17:14.000 I haven't watched this whole video, so...

00:17:15.000 Wait, where is she at?

00:17:16.000 Where is she at?

00:17:17.000 Before we start this, where is she at on the scale of hotness to, like, personality?

00:17:22.000 Where would you say?

00:17:23.000 It's really hard to tell.

00:17:24.000 She's not that hot.

00:17:25.000 She's, like, cute.

00:17:26.000 You know?

00:17:27.000 She's got a lot of makeup off.

00:17:28.000 I can't tell, like, because her personality is obviously a 10.

00:17:31.000 Like, being, like, the best for the best.

00:17:33.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:17:34.000 I haven't watched the video, so I got to know what her personality is like.

00:17:37.000 I think it's in Philly, right?

00:17:39.000 I think it was in Philly?

00:17:40.000 I don't know.

00:17:41.000 I'm not sure, yes.

00:17:42.000 Some East Coast city.

00:17:45.000 Go ahead and hit play.

00:17:46.000 So today in Skits World, some random girl came to Six Doughnuts and started taking a piss

00:17:51.000 in front of the store.

00:17:52.000 What the fuck?

00:17:54.000 Were you fucking bigger?

00:17:57.000 Who's that?

00:18:00.000 Is that your friend?

00:18:01.000 You're a friend?

00:18:02.000 What?

00:18:03.000 Whoa!

00:18:04.000 NIGGAR!

00:18:05.000 NIGGAR!

00:18:06.000 NIGGAR!

00:18:07.000 Fuck you!

00:18:08.000 Stupid NIGGAR bitch!

00:18:10.000 Oh, Jesus Christ!

00:18:11.000 She's speaking the language of the guy.

00:18:13.000 Oh, no!

00:18:14.000 NIGGAR!

00:18:15.000 NIGGAR!

00:18:16.000 NIGGAR!

00:18:18.000 NIGGAR!

00:18:19.000 NIGGAR!

00:18:20.000 Oh, Jesus!

00:18:21.000 Oh, Jesus!

00:18:22.000 You the NIGGAR!

00:18:23.000 What the fuck?

00:18:24.000 Oh, Jesus!

00:18:25.000 Oh, Jesus!

00:18:26.000 How the fuck?

00:18:27.000 Oh!

00:18:28.000 Oh, Jesus!

00:18:29.000 Oh!

00:18:30.000 this is my favorite video this is like that movie get out

00:18:41.680 it's not even done

00:18:43.280 please tell me she's gonna run into the street please

00:18:51.340 i just love that this is also just

00:18:57.580 they hear this so much in philadelphia that they just like it doesn't bother anybody

00:19:01.860 we're just like oh whatever

00:19:02.900 oh my god oh man there's only really commentary to be out of here

00:19:13.580 oh just the two of the weakest hits i've ever seen by anybody back to back

00:19:19.480 it's weird because like it's like the black people

00:19:21.520 this is great for our audio listeners like i mean this is really what they get anyway right

00:19:31.800 what do you think what do you think happened

00:19:36.020 this is the nicest black people have ever been to a white woman though you realize that right

00:19:48.580 oh my god that's true especially when they're i mean it was only the black woman that got

00:19:52.720 yeah just he got absolutely shocked i'm sorry black men have been to white woman

00:19:56.920 oh that's true yeah dude i think when they're yelling like that and they're obviously drunk

00:20:01.320 i think it's just funny to everybody i think everybody just sees that as funny they can't

00:20:05.340 big chongo what up dude she was she was yelling at people of every race it was just like

00:20:10.700 every single person oh yeah he was he was just yelling at black people she was like

00:20:14.720 the white dude on a bike just like i'm just delivering postmates man

00:20:18.420 yeah that like kenny powers guy walked by

00:20:21.320 no if you if you watch it again she was targeting the blacks i don't want to watch it again but she was

00:20:25.680 i mean she did hit some whites but like let's be real niggers disproportionately are blacks

00:20:30.120 as opposed to whites so no i think i think it's something like 13 or 52 i don't know

00:20:34.940 disproportionately you guys see evamx candy or uh what's that other fucking please please

00:20:40.500 evamx clean d he tweeted about this and he was like she's possessed by a mayonnaise demon or some

00:20:45.520 shit it's so funny i think she just got absolutely like fucked up and then went to go like she got

00:20:53.220 picked up by a black dude and then like he like got with her or something and then she found out she

00:20:57.800 was like oh their dicks oh i didn't realize you were a nigger

00:21:00.380 so but she was at a donut store but she didn't have any how many donut stores are owned by black

00:21:07.740 people by the way i've never that's a great question zero it's always it's always vietnamese

00:21:12.680 and like um fucking white people that's it yeah white people yeah you know it'd be great though

00:21:17.920 if there was you know the movie liar liar i guess the movie liar liar black people doing anything

00:21:22.760 yes i know the movie liar yeah with jim carrey yeah you know you know how he can only tell the

00:21:27.380 truth it'd be dope if like if that's hold on if that was the premise of a movie cole is your dog

00:21:32.940 biting a squeaky toy right now yes my dog came in here cole he wants to play kill him kill him

00:21:37.680 take him outside and break his yeah

00:21:39.120 no fucking legs man if you have a mental disorder where you have to literally just like yell slurs at

00:21:48.640 everybody you see well i mean that's you just really gotta call him like you see him that is

00:21:52.660 just a rat well have you seen have you seen that i can read the title no have you have you seen that

00:21:57.580 tourette's video of the guy that he he like they say it was that's that um that series where people

00:22:03.420 stand in a line for fuck's sake cole cole's trying to have like the squeaky sound behind him to

00:22:09.440 increase his comedy and it's not working cold it's like props guys yeah he's a prop comic now

00:22:15.800 that's that's how fucking far he's yeah this is this is some real real clown shit no if you could

00:22:21.240 find if you can find a really funny tourette's video i'd love to run that no i love tourette's

00:22:25.320 well no there's a great video i think i may have said in the instagram but it was

00:22:28.460 they was the that uh series where people line up and they have to agree or disagree with the question

00:22:33.880 asked and the question was it was like if you have tourette's is it okay to say the n-word

00:22:38.040 and one guy like said yes it's okay and immediately said it like he was like near

00:22:44.580 it's so fucking let me let me tell you the story let me tell you the story because this really ties

00:22:50.520 in um it's ridiculous professional operation here cole what the fuck cole cole if you if you could if

00:22:57.400 you could pretend to have tourette's for the rest of the episode that'd be it'd be fun

00:23:00.080 how do i how do i how do i make that chick my wife by the way where's where's she at i don't

00:23:07.700 know getting out of your fucking house go talk to some bitches just go to a club and shake around

00:23:12.500 a bag of blow let me listen let me let me tell you guys a story before i forget i was i was in

00:23:18.200 garbage mains chat uh yesterday and i almost told the story because it's so fucking funny i don't even

00:23:23.020 think i told you guys we go to the lake with our friends me and my wife uh some of our only friends

00:23:29.120 here just happen to be black people two black people go figure so we go to the lake with them

00:23:34.560 and their kids right that totally changes my entire opinion of you but continue you're you're

00:23:38.940 in jamaica still no we're in florida wait you go to the lake with black people r.i.p to the lake with

00:23:45.100 black people yeah they're awesome though they're really cool they're cooler than you guys actually

00:23:48.400 top does this over here top top top takes black people to the lake just to get rid of them

00:23:54.740 so so anyway we're there we enjoy a nice day at the at the lake and then uh i tell my kids all right

00:24:02.520 look let's start going because it's gonna rain so they come in and her kid comes in and then it starts

00:24:08.500 to drizzle and my daughter looks right at her and she says her name she doesn't look at any of us

00:24:14.220 she goes it's a drizzle my nizzle

00:24:17.080 and i die laughing because i don't give a fuck i look at my wife my wife is horrified

00:24:24.460 so i'm like oh my god i gotta play like i gotta play ball here so i just turned to the to the lady

00:24:29.700 and i was like we just love snoop dogg in the house and she goes oh my god we love snoop dogg too

00:24:35.400 so i'm like oh god now i gotta now i gotta like make up uh now you gotta pretend you like snoop dogg

00:24:40.600 i can't say he's the worst yeah i mean just i had to tell a story because the comedic timing

00:24:48.000 of like my daughter basically saying the n-word right to our only black friends was just like

00:24:53.480 i looked at her i cannot i cannot wait for my son to see just the random crazy shit he'll say

00:24:59.420 because i know just it's kind of hard because i don't i feel like liz will probably be this way

00:25:03.360 too my daughter especially my youngest she's the funny one but she'll say shit that you just like

00:25:07.580 dude you're 10 like you can't say that shit like me i'm just like and my wife will like pull me

00:25:13.660 aside like hey we can't be sending her out in the real world saying shit like that right i'm like

00:25:18.740 i don't know it's fucking funny like yeah people aren't gonna get that they're gonna see a 10 year

00:25:22.880 old saying hey get your butthole over here dude or whatever the fuck oh that's it oh that was the

00:25:28.760 first thing that came to my mind my wife recently like she has a bad thing the thing of always instead

00:25:32.220 of saying butt she just says butthole because she finds it funnier like instead of like get your

00:25:35.900 butt over get your butthole over here and it's like for a 10 year old it's hilarious

00:25:39.220 but she's like she's saying this just like normal people out in the world they're like what the

00:25:45.060 fuck yeah but yeah but she's right she understands comedy like the butt is is not as funny as the

00:25:50.460 whole think about it yes kids i was already thinking about it they inherently understand the

00:25:57.980 concepts which is it's befuddling as to why cole can't put together concepts lately because he has the

00:26:03.240 mind of a child but my daughter is literally the kind of kid my daughter is literally the kind of

00:26:08.160 kid that would come up to me and sit next to me like daddy why is it that we're not allowed to say

00:26:12.400 the word nigger and i'm like oh god what the fuck the kid said that to you well shit like that she will

00:26:19.860 be like n-word and i like i have had the honest got my wife hates it because i'll be like you should

00:26:24.780 just tell her she shouldn't say that stuff ever and i'm like well i don't know what's the context here

00:26:28.560 honey listen during during jim crow we could have got away with it but not anymore it's coming back

00:26:34.720 hold on it's coming back trump 2024 baby it's coming back

00:26:38.880 listen they've been pushing left for so long once that pinch zone swings back our way we're gonna be

00:26:44.760 good we're gonna be golden fuckers gonna be living at 130 again yeah trump uh dude his his new

00:26:50.720 slogan should actually be that that should be his whole pitch make make america say nigger again

00:26:55.040 all right all right let's go all right uh what do we got we got any uh mailbag this week or what

00:27:00.540 what's up mailbag we need like a mailbag song right yeah yeah we just got our bottom we used to have

00:27:07.100 it where where like someone would read it to us and shit now there's no theatrics it's just like

00:27:11.300 there's a banner you pull it up again sorry how many holes does a straw have art r asks how many holes

00:27:17.060 does a straw have one just one hole oh yeah it's like vicious um it's got a hole on both

00:27:23.500 don't ask us riddles you cunt immediately i would say two because well yeah you you think that but

00:27:31.280 that would be only on a two-dimensional plane like you know what i mean like if you're just looking at

00:27:34.360 the but obviously it's three-dimensional so it's just one continuous hole it's just one

00:27:37.780 continuous hole yeah it's yeah i'm thinking also it's a cylinder really it doesn't even have holes like

00:27:42.620 yeah which uh by the way is not a bad idea oh by that logic how many holes does a human have

00:27:48.060 yeah uh are you talking about they're all like one because it's just kind of like at least for

00:27:53.900 the mouth and butthole it's kind of you know one they're all connected if you thrust oh that's true

00:27:57.620 yeah oh dudes it is all connected so one hole yeah dude uh your nose holes are connected to your

00:28:05.360 butthole well no that's connected to your sinus that's bullshit to the reins and your digestive

00:28:09.800 system which would go to your butthole dude yes so that means the ear is the only one that throws

00:28:14.120 me off although aren't your ear canal somehow connected to like your sinus fuck yeah they are

00:28:17.520 they are dude one hole humans have one technically technically jose was right when he just was calling

00:28:25.520 bitches holes they just one they're just one hole yeah yeah the other day we're all all a hole well

00:28:32.720 man and that's that's the insult you can use when she's just you know constantly being an annoying

00:28:36.560 bitch you're you're a continuous wait a second so if you if you're dp-ing a girl you're both in

00:28:41.600 the same hole right yeah yeah it does make a case although no i don't know if when it diverges does

00:28:48.560 that mean they're separate holes no bro no it's one hole that's it okay yeah so so if you're uh if your

00:28:55.600 chick says that she doesn't if your chick says that she doesn't let you put it in the butt if she's uh

00:29:00.800 sucked you off then she's lying that's true yeah you just feel like i'm just putting it it's the same

00:29:05.360 hole babe it's not even it's not even different than it's just a matter of perspective if you think

00:29:09.760 about it especially now bend over

00:29:15.760 the holes are relative they're all relative trust me the hole's relative now bite the pillow i'm going

00:29:20.880 in raw it's like einstein trying to talk his wife into butt sex this is great

00:29:26.320 it was a fucking fraud i mean theoretically let me penetrate you before the theory of anal

00:29:31.840 relativity i love it yeah top you you read that 101 tweet now you're just like oh yeah

00:29:36.800 fucking uh uh einstein's a fraud no no no were you on that way before him he saw one sam triply episode

00:29:44.800 yes one sam triply episode now like my whole world is einstein's an entire goddamn fraud

00:29:49.840 but i've been suspecting it for a long time because i was like look at this motherfucker can't even comb

00:29:54.640 his hair can't be that smart and i don't really trust smart people anyway that's why i

00:29:58.320 fuck with you cole do you think oppenheimer's uh was actually smart if i knew who that was i would

00:30:03.280 say no he's that's the adam bomb dude he's the creator of the atomic bomb yeah oh those are fake

00:30:07.840 so yeah no he's oh yeah that's true he's a total fraud he invented a fraudulent thing it's not even

00:30:14.400 real he just made it up by the way think think about how long that continuous hole is that's what's

00:30:19.680 blowing my mind right now because you have like miles and miles of intestines so you have to stretch

00:30:24.000 that out that's a that's a long asshole those are the kind of thoughts you keep to yourself

00:30:28.720 oh he's like what if i just laid it on the floor in my apartment like from side to side this is like

00:30:33.280 jeffrey thomber shit like oh look at this oh look how squishy it is oh it feels so good how long how

00:30:39.200 long do you how long do you think your dick would have to be to give him anal sex and have it come

00:30:44.000 come out of your mouth miles miles miles i mean technically it is an absolute average black man's

00:30:50.720 penis no no no it literally just has to be the length from her vaginal cavity to her her throat

00:30:55.600 because you just go straight through it yeah you're just going straight it's not like you're going to

00:30:59.360 defy the laws of physics and you have to oh that's true it's like it's like it's like it's like a

00:31:03.120 slinky it's like it's like you can stretch it out or you can just have it all just mashed up and just

00:31:08.400 yeah yeah oh this is this is saying it's five to six feet that can't be right

00:31:13.680 do you think gay dudes fix constipation by fucking each other yes i bet you that really listens it up

00:31:20.560 my wife worked with a gay dude listen to this and he was like the receptionist and she would

00:31:25.120 she would tell me all the time she's like this guy smells like ass like i can't figure it out yeah

00:31:29.200 and then there was like uh what was that black dude he's like flamboyant black he's a meme he's like

00:31:34.400 like like all this he was in like america's top next top model or something like oh i thought you

00:31:38.800 meant antoine dodson oh the one who's in like acting some modeling but he's like very like oh

00:31:44.960 huh assistant honey child like that this guy you know this guy walks into her job because she was

00:31:51.120 doing like iv infusions for like rich people and she she walks in and he starts telling her he's like

00:31:57.120 man that boy up in the front he's like i'm not washing his asshole he's getting railed out not

00:32:02.880 washing his asshole oh it's so so yeah we figured it out i was like yo they just be like all day long

00:32:08.880 but the the shit just drips out so they could never be constipated well just think about it like you if

00:32:13.520 you just like if you slam pussy the night before like you go to work or whatever you'll or especially

00:32:18.560 the morning of like you'll later like you'll kind of be like oh yeah that was fun i remember that oh

00:32:23.280 i thought you were talking about like your dick will just start excreting just pee

00:32:27.760 i've been coming so much it's just open man like you're moving all that shit around it's not like

00:32:35.440 yeah if you don't clean yourself up after getting buttfucked i'm sure it is like yeah you're leaving

00:32:40.480 shit all around the rim dog you know i'm gonna it's called santorum actually i'm actually gonna embarrass

00:32:46.080 my wife here just for a second because uh she didn't wash her ass no no no no no it's got it's

00:32:51.280 about ass uh this better be funny because this is your last opportunity to get a good joke before

00:32:56.240 she kicks you off oh yeah i'm sorry she's in the she's in the bath right now uh but uh she we were at

00:33:03.120 the gym and she sat down to do like reverse flies and she got up and she like looked at me and she was

00:33:08.640 like um is it normal that there's like after i sit down and get up off these machines there's like a

00:33:14.720 little like wet streak i was like yeah that's what she was like you sure it's not like badge

00:33:20.560 stuff and i'm like no it's just i have the same she was so worried that she was like leaking

00:33:26.480 everywhere i think i was like everybody has this i think your mussy is leaking all around the world

00:33:35.760 and not even know it it's incredible that they let these two get married because they're like

00:33:39.840 legitimately retarded she's like i can't tell the difference between sweat and vaginal fluids wow

00:33:49.200 she thought she was just she saw me and she just thought she was so horny from seeing me

00:33:53.760 she's just dripping all she was like i'm real horny but i'm not like humored at all i'm not sweaty

00:33:58.960 though yeah that's what i think when i when i see women at the gym i'm like that's not sweat they're

00:34:06.400 they're just so horny because i walk by that is it is a psyop that's a psyop toad like the women

00:34:13.520 no no women sweats it's all just vag imagine the concept of toad leaning on like one of these smith

00:34:19.760 machines and he's like yeah yeah so then i jerked off 32 times and the girl gets off runs away and

00:34:24.320 there's like a wet mark and he's like just made away another one he's like he like he's like oh yeah

00:34:33.200 that's another one just wipes it's on his forehead all right what is the type of dude that would

00:34:40.640 fucking lick lick the seat when bitches leave i swear to god oh dude dude i'll play a new game

00:34:47.760 i will remove the seat and wring it out onto my face he's that type of i wrote down some stuff

00:35:01.600 because i wanted to do this last week so i said toad the type of to pass out while taking a

00:35:07.200 shit he's just writing jokes with the type of toad the type of burger with a knife and fork toad

00:35:14.400 no incorrect i was close to the type of to pour his milk before his cereal nope wow i'm wrong to

00:35:21.280 the type of to get injured at a happy ending yeah dude dude when i sneeze i i i like lose feeling in

00:35:33.120 my entire left arm like i'm having another stroke i'm not kidding like sneezes are so painful didn't

00:35:37.840 you say you thought you're having another stroke just this last week or something like that

00:35:41.680 yeah yeah i like what you're doing down there wong chi but my uh my hips really acting up so i

00:35:47.520 don't i don't take it easy elizabeth is exactly right she said watching toad eat is like watching

00:35:52.240 an old little old man eat 100 i literally just sat there and watched him because dude you eat so

00:35:58.960 fucking like like you're 85 and like you have to just like slow if you eat too fast you'll literally

00:36:04.880 the type of nigga that eat his peas individually dude i eat individual grains of rice told the type

00:36:12.560 of nigga to grow his toenails mad long and complain his feet hurt no no i i i no i actually i hate long

00:36:19.360 nails dude i i can't i can't stand nails i literally dude i whip my toenails off

00:36:28.960 i can't stand you want his toenails chew on them yeah i feel like tone is totally that type of

00:36:35.440 nigga it's unbelievable i mean i mean i i mean i think i could physically do it yeah just sweat when

00:36:40.880 he eats hey i i used to i think i tweeted at this at one time i used to like get uh i used to eat and

00:36:47.920 get winded a lot that used to happen to me a lot what does that mean like i would eat so much i would be

00:36:53.440 out of breath i would eat like so much so fast i would just go like down like two burgers in like

00:36:58.160 five minutes they'd just be like well here's the thing i i can do that was so funny well it's weird

00:37:05.200 because i i could do like eating challenges where i'll like eat a large quantity really fast but then

00:37:10.240 when i want to like actually savor the food i eat like really slowly like i want i want to savor the

00:37:16.240 flavor i want to tell the type of nigga to tell a story or orgasmic i mean tell the type of nigga to

00:37:21.680 eat crunchy peanut butter told the type of nigga to pee next to you in an empty bathroom told the type of

00:37:25.040 nigga to have a secret tattoo oh he does have a secret tattoo i'll never tell something stupid

00:37:32.560 about boston too and it's like i'll never tell uh i do i i do a swastika on his chest like some

00:37:38.320 240 like resolution fucking boston symbol you know what i mean like awfully like from he's got he's got

00:37:44.480 little fighting irishman told the type of nigga to have like a cloverleaf tattoo yeah i love notre

00:37:50.000 dame uh no i um i do eat crunchy peanut butter what was the other one i don't even know uh told the

00:37:56.240 type of nigga to use those paper toilet seat covers no absolutely no i use them i don't i don't give a

00:38:01.200 fuck i just use toilet paper it depends it depends on where i'm at if i if i'm in a pretty bad

00:38:07.920 fucking uh gas station i'm not i gotta i gotta tell you guys a quick story so uh hopefully p.u although

00:38:15.840 actually top i i

00:38:20.560 and he holds his nose too he goes oh p.u yeah yeah i walk in dude when the most indian people are using

00:38:26.240 the bathroom with me i just go and pee you guys

00:38:32.320 that's what i had here told the type of nigga to jerk off at a threesome thank you very much i did do that

00:38:36.800 one um top uh there is some truth to the to the toilet seat one just because i try to avoid

00:38:43.120 shitting in public uh like as much as possible i'm a private pooper i like to i like to real quick

00:38:51.440 real quick story uh so i was i was in new jersey uh for icarus fest this past weekend and i was on my

00:38:56.960 way to the airport and i i i as i usually do i pooed before i left because i'm responsible and i know that

00:39:04.480 like you got a long travel day ahead of you you make sure you don't clean when you shit do you

00:39:09.200 wipe your ass like do you have to yeah of course i have to because he has like no butt cheeks it's

00:39:14.400 crazy like well but he also wears no underwear he wears no underwear too though so he has if he

00:39:18.880 doesn't wipe his ass there's nothing but there's nothing to wipe oh you're saying he like no no

00:39:23.680 there's plenty to wipe i still have an ass it's just tiny all right so i uh i poop i poop and i go and

00:39:29.680 i get my car and i start driving and i am the airport to miami is like far i it's not that far

00:39:36.800 but it takes like an hour all right i'm gonna speed this story up so i get i get on the freeway

00:39:41.520 and all of a sudden my stomach just like ignites it's like oh you yeah you just pooped but it was

00:39:47.760 just like clearing the blockage for some sort of disastrous chernobyl like event and i i i'm like

00:39:54.400 i'm driving i'm taking back roads because the traffic to miami airport's all and and i'm like

00:39:59.440 i can make it i have to make it i don't have a choice i'm gonna miss my flight if i have to

00:40:02.880 shit and i get to a point where my stomach is in so much agony that i'm like if i don't

00:40:07.440 shit in the next three to four minutes i may die like i honestly was like i'm going to die if i

00:40:12.720 don't shit very very soon yeah no i'm not even kidding like i had i had such excruciating pain i was

00:40:22.000 like i either shit my pants in which case i can't get on the plane anyways or i pull over and i

00:40:27.120 shit so that i i can still try and make my flight so i fucking i pull into this uh like this nice

00:40:34.160 residential retail place and it was like a bed bath and beyond or some shit but it was like super fancy

00:40:40.560 because everything in miami's fancy because everyone's where's the bathroom yeah but i'm

00:40:44.640 sweating dude i'm sweating and i'm but i have to play i have to play cool do the bathroom yo i have to

00:40:50.880 play it cool right because like otherwise they won't let you use the bathroom because like homeless

00:40:54.720 people ask for bathrooms and shit so i'm like i'm like uh yeah i'm just i shit you not this is what

00:40:59.360 i say i go hi um and by the way it started pouring rain i pull over my car fast as fuck i parked in

00:41:05.920 the handicap on them so i was telling them about i was a private money mortgage lender

00:41:10.320 that car right there does that look like the car of a homeless man that's all the primary colors you

00:41:15.840 does does a poor person have all of the primary colors i don't think so so i'm pouring sweat but

00:41:26.160 fortunately it just started to pour rain so you can't tell that i'm sweating but i am sweating

00:41:30.080 hard because i've been holding it for like five minutes or ten minutes and and i tell the lady

00:41:33.920 behind the counter there's three people there's no one in this fucking store it's a super high-end

00:41:37.600 store and i'm just like hey and i think quick because i'm fucking quick-witted like that i go hey my

00:41:43.040 wife is gonna meet me on her lunch she'll be here in 20 minutes is there a restroom i can use while

00:41:47.840 i wait and i and i am dying inside but i still say that sir you're clearly a middle-aged bachelor

00:41:56.320 this is all a fever dream he literally just it's all a fever dream he literally just went in there

00:42:00.000 and was like i need a poopy

00:42:03.680 but clint actually did this dude clint actually like ran into he ran into a home depot and used

00:42:09.760 one of the display toilets yo but i i swear to god by the time i get past these three bougie

00:42:15.680 russian bitches i was like i like stiff warm them i get to the bathroom and i sit down the reason the

00:42:20.960 reason that this like this this spurred this story is because i had to shit so badly that i didn't even

00:42:26.320 put down the paper i just sat down i just sat down and launched dude i launched so hard and i

00:42:33.040 swear i felt as if like my body lifted off the seat it it like the propulsion of the

00:42:40.160 feces leaving my ass made me feel as if i was actually elevating it was violent anyways that's

00:42:45.760 the end of my story your elitism is showing i've shit in porta potties and not give a fuck

00:42:50.240 yeah it's a rocket uh clint averted the ass disaster so that's good so i sprinted in there

00:42:57.760 and i said i need to take a poopy for the guys that use this paper on the do you here's my logic i

00:43:04.960 never use the paper i kind of if there's piss on it i'll wipe it off but like i just sit on there

00:43:08.960 because i'm like even when i take a bath or take a shower i don't even wash my legs it's like can your

00:43:13.040 legs even get dirty like honestly i don't think so legs so what am i protecting myself from if

00:43:19.440 anything it should be like in the like the front of the toilet where you did i feel like i'm more

00:43:22.640 it's more about protecting my pants that i'm putting on i care more about the the cleanliness of the my

00:43:26.880 underwear and pants than my body itself you took tops legs so if i sit in like piss or sit in like

00:43:32.800 shit and i don't wipe it off or whatever like that's getting on my underwear afterwards it's not my

00:43:37.280 shit or my piss if you see anything on it you wipe it off like you grab a little water toilet paper

00:43:42.320 wipe it off like i mean if there's like shit on it you go no i'm good but i mean there's sometimes

00:43:47.520 where it's the only one you got and like there's a too much on there to wipe off with like what you

00:43:53.120 have you just got on shitty toilet seats dude yeah dude i would dude i've done it multiple times

00:43:58.640 actually i think it was coming back from top i do it at home every day i think it was what you guys don't

00:44:04.640 no no but i was like i got into this uh i had to like one of clint shits where you're sweating

00:44:09.680 it's literally feel like your insides are going to destroy yourself and you you go in there it's a

00:44:14.160 one it's a one stall your bare ass no no no no no this one uh there was actually no toilet paper

00:44:19.680 either i actually did the squat over uh and had to just like let it rip which is probably why there's

00:44:25.280 shit all over anyway and just let it rip without with like a you know nice gap but most of the time

00:44:30.720 if i see that i'm putting down a layer of nice toilet paper and just sitting on that if i see yeah i

00:44:36.720 usually i am not using that toilet it's just not happening yeah like you'll be like okay i'd rather

00:44:41.440 shit myself i mean guess if it's a shit or not then i'll adapt i'll hover or something but like

00:44:47.600 hover survive adapt overcome this is like emergency i'm not gonna be like oh let me set up a nice little

00:44:52.960 crow's nest of toilet paper like that i'm out there's shit on this toilet seat like dodge duck dive and dodge

00:45:00.080 yeah i uh i i the by far the my least favorite thing of shitting in public is because they have

00:45:06.480 those sensors so when i when i stand up because i don't know i guess when you're sitting there it

00:45:12.480 triggers it and i have no ass and there's a problem or something but as soon as i stand up and i pull

00:45:16.400 up my pants if the motherfucker flushes and then it just blasts the water into my yeah i hate oh bro

00:45:22.400 bro it's like a bidet but you didn't ask for it yeah yeah it's like it's like a bidet but with

00:45:26.560 shit water it's it's it's it's it's an unsolicited bidet by the way uh ribble bibble is currently

00:45:32.080 commenting still on our episode four and i wanted to bring it up because i already did i did i i

00:45:39.520 commented back to him actually i'll share my screen because start living in 2023 ribble bibble this is

00:45:44.720 actually really funny to me yo he's watching episode four right yes he's watching episode four uh

00:45:49.440 so i thought this was really funny because he already had this one down here which i read in

00:45:57.520 our like in our pre-show i was talking about it but he's just i mean he's just live comedy i'm guessing

00:46:02.960 but he he says why do you losers say autistic like it's cool it's fucking retarded these are usually

00:46:08.720 damaged people from getting shot up with shit when they were infants causing brain swelling which made

00:46:13.360 them autistic in many cases you realize how many viruses are on a monkey kidney cells which are used in

00:46:18.720 all vaccines where do you think aids and hpv came from retards usually imagine when he catches up to

00:46:24.640 this and he's like whoa in like three years he's like watching all the content he's like oh my god

00:46:38.480 so my mom actually like got me like basically the fewest amount of vaccines possible to like

00:46:44.000 help to actually get into public school no but then what what did happen was when i was uh when i was

00:46:49.440 like seven or eight years old they were worried they were worried that i was too small because i'm

00:46:53.760 really short and i really didn't weigh much at all i was really thin like i'm waiting to me you're

00:46:59.280 making me want to vaccinate my kids 30 pounds in eighth grade so what they did is they they start they

00:47:06.320 put me on hgh injections when i wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait you wait 30 pounds in eighth

00:47:12.640 grade no no when i was seven or eight years old oh i don't believe that you wait 30 pounds at seven

00:47:20.320 or eight i have children i know you're lying yeah you're old is 30 pounds no i'm not i'm not joking yes you

00:47:27.360 fucking are there's no way you weigh 30 pounds eight years old well that's that's why they were

00:47:32.320 so concerned they like paraded around his services i want i want pictures right now you pull up

00:47:38.960 pictures right now of the smallest retarded baby in the world

00:47:45.760 come on come on witness toad the freakiest of freaks

00:47:51.520 you guys are thinking that he's emaciated but he's probably just real short and shaped exactly

00:48:02.400 how he is now he's like just like a lumpy kid look at this lumpy it looks like a basketball no

00:48:09.440 no i wasn't lumpy i was i was really thin and weak and just tell the type of nigga to be seven

00:48:14.560 years old and weigh 30 pounds just an awful person get the out of here honestly i kind of want to

00:48:19.440 believe him i kind of want to believe him because i feel like even at like eight years

00:48:22.240 old he was super autistic and he would weigh himself every day and like write it like log

00:48:26.480 it down you know doctors they have like the chart you see where you are on the curve i'm like come

00:48:32.640 on just let me get on were you three feet tall how tall were you bro not tall at all very short but

00:48:39.440 i mean you'd have to be microscopic yeah uh jose

00:48:47.920 i think so too oh my god you go you go to like your appointments for your kid and they're always

00:48:53.520 like okay yeah he's in like the 50 percentile 70 percentile uh and toad goes that i just feel like

00:49:00.480 his his mom every time i'm just like yeah he's in the one percentile of everything like this kid

00:49:04.560 it's like it's like he has in the one percentile of a pussy dude i was in the three but we knew

00:49:11.120 i was in like the 99th percentile like academically basically and i was in the one person the first

00:49:16.480 percentile like everything else like everything this is why i don't believe you when you talk about

00:49:20.640 your sports things that you did i just i absolutely do hold on i don't believe none of you motherfuckers

00:49:25.600 but i played basketball in college and i played baseball when i was shut up shut up toad the other day

00:49:30.640 in the group chat i don't know if you guys caught this if you were sleeping but cole and toad were

00:49:36.000 talking on some like computer yeah and they were like gigabytes and hertz and they were they were

00:49:40.080 making up name i swear to god they were making up names did you read this clint yeah i did

00:49:44.960 i think i think that it was like it was like chat gpt just they're both just like toads doing

00:49:51.200 pathological lying but cole's more just like oh i don't want to look retarded

00:49:54.640 so yeah but since but since toad's lying he doesn't know that cole's also lying so it's just a

00:49:59.920 lie off i'm just like pulling my hair out because i'm like what the is going on these guys aren't

00:50:04.640 smarter than me there's no way i was i tone was going way over my head as well i would that's why

00:50:10.080 the only thing i was talking about was like i want to m.2 drive i have an ssd and hgd that's all i said

00:50:16.080 toad's like i have the firebird server connected yeah oh yeah i was talking about my nas i have an ubuntu

00:50:23.040 virtual machine on it that's running up this isn't anything this is literally drying up all

00:50:27.200 the ribble dibble i'm running i'm running like it's actually really good operating so sonar and

00:50:31.600 radar to automatically torrent like all the media that i'm not pirating at all and yeah

00:50:39.600 i was talking about how i have like you know raid uh array on there type of negative pirate mad movies

00:50:44.640 and then never watch them yeah i just want to say he also pirates movies and he makes enough

00:50:50.160 money to actually like just subscribe to netflix like and i actually do i am i am subscribed to

00:50:56.000 netflix he's like i'm just gonna he's like i just really want the new season of uh like um it's always

00:51:01.680 sunny he's like dude it's on hulu like real real talk i have breaking the law real talk i have

00:51:07.040 memberships to almost every streaming service and it's all logins from my ex-girlfriends it's

00:51:11.120 brilliant yeah i'm the problem i'm the other side i i have all the logins i i am the one providing

00:51:16.640 all and like everybody else is taking off of me yeah that's not good you're one of my ex-girlfriends

00:51:21.120 i get it hey toad uh we're not gonna move on past your bold-faced lie 30 pound seven eight-year-old

00:51:28.560 why i was a very very tiny child toad show me a photo or you're off the show although i think a

00:51:36.240 78 year old at like 30 pounds i bet he was pretty cute back then because he still had like those like

00:51:40.720 i mean no beard probably disturbingly emaciated or he just looked or he just like was like that

00:51:46.960 he looks like a holocaust survivor yeah or he's just like super tiny maybe he wasn't macy maybe

00:51:51.440 he was just always just like small like a like a little child bro you'd have to be he just didn't

00:51:55.920 grow tall wait back in the holocaust thing those were actually crisis actors from marathons they just

00:52:01.440 took your average marathon person you know that's right oh yeah oh and benjamin was last week jose

00:52:06.720 we're moving on dude this guy is still coming i just love the idea that he's gonna like spend

00:52:15.280 years going through the catalog yeah he might watch the owen episodes like oh these guys are cool you

00:52:19.200 know what i want to experience it from the very beginning and like when we were really invested

00:52:22.640 the show three years from now and there's like like that would just break your brain that'd be like

00:52:26.560 mk ultra type shit like am i losing it what is going on here only to find out like three episodes

00:52:31.920 later all of us die but they had a good run though i love i love evil devil he's a homie

00:52:39.360 uh told you didn't weigh 30 pounds at seven years old you're a liar uh we can move on was there any

00:52:43.120 other questions did you say 38 did you say 38 pounds yeah yeah in the 30s the 38 makes it more

00:52:49.920 believable but still a pathological lie yeah this is well it's because i'm so autistic i had it right

00:52:55.200 down to the individual pound this is like when people like try to go with a half mile figure for how far

00:53:00.080 terence yiki walked after really fucking himself up and then killed himself as opposed to the mile

00:53:04.400 and a half it's like well they're both very unbelievable but i don't know i'll give you a

00:53:08.080 little more of the 38. so like we'll say that like two there were two assailants that beat him up but

00:53:12.560 everybody knows that it's like three dude dude i i was so small that a kid that was in my class like

00:53:18.800 picked me up and carried me around at recess and he dropped me and i completely snapped my radius and

00:53:24.240 play the music play the music i actually i uh i told jose this and like somebody i was like um

00:53:30.960 i was at like a thing with my dad it was his church or whatever and uh okc came up and i was like trying

00:53:37.680 to give them the information try to red pill these guys on terence yoki and uh

00:53:45.600 it's like a delicious pasta or whatever the are you trying to trigger jose

00:53:48.960 what's his name what's his name though yiki oh terence yiki yeah oh god damn it but and i was

00:53:57.440 like trying i was like yeah he was shot in the back of the head twice and he was uh like wrong i was

00:54:04.160 like and his his uh wrists were slit no he crawled he got dragged like half a mile and they were like

00:54:09.920 oh that's terrible and i was like i'm pretty sure he was shot twice because i i'm not sure i'm gonna

00:54:16.000 fuck it up next time i just feel like and they're like shit it was but it's so funny because i was

00:54:21.840 just trying to give like the cliff notes but i myself never watched jose's thing on it so i was

00:54:26.400 just like i was like yeah john doe number three and they were like what and i was like yeah number

00:54:31.120 three man everyone focuses on two but really it's three you gotta watch yeah wait wait till you hear

00:54:37.840 about john doe four hey is there another another question for us diggy yeah blow your mind has anyone

00:54:43.200 seen john wick four is that good conspiracy extremists s between barack and michelle who's

00:54:48.320 got the bigger piece and why does clint think trans women are women if we're going based off of

00:54:53.360 totally based off of back width if somehow back width is correlated to penis size michelle wins at

00:54:58.720 that one michelle's a dude it just has a physiognomy of fucking uh of uh of like

00:55:06.480 just forget about the big just pretend the g doesn't exist the g is it's supposed to be

00:55:11.680 pronounced so i don't know i think this is this is like the question from a few weeks ago where we

00:55:17.280 were talking about if michael malice has a bigger dick than blair white and it could be either way

00:55:21.680 but you said so blair white could have a bigger dick than malice but it would be just flappy so i

00:55:26.240 think like obama has such low testosterone that he probably has like a real long flappy dick but big

00:55:32.000 mike gets it talking about michelle and her dick tiny balls if any of us were in a dress and did

00:55:38.000 that dance she did do you think you could see our penis flap and uh yeah yeah because i don't think

00:55:43.200 mine would i don't think soft if i'm doing that dance i think it depends on the material the dress

00:55:50.000 but like the same one she's wearing the same one like you're in that dress right now and you're doing

00:55:54.480 that thing she was doing where she was like hip thrust in or what dancing on ellen show is your dick

00:55:59.280 imprint coming through yeah yeah yeah dude mine would fly up i mean it depends like if i got like

00:56:04.160 a like if i even got anything like like between like a logical if it's between like a five percent

00:56:10.000 and a twenty percent chub obviously anything more than that as well it'll show but like yeah i guess

00:56:14.000 if i'm like insanely flaccid and have my dick positioned just right probably get away with it

00:56:18.400 but if i have even a little bit of blood flowing there you're seeing that shit and i don't it's not

00:56:21.600 even like i'm a big dick it's just like dude i think i don't think but i just i'm just it's so funny

00:56:26.240 to me that this person has like michelle has said so many times where her dick has shown like it's

00:56:32.240 like more than i've ever had my dick shown and i'm dressing like a man like where i like in anything

00:56:38.240 and my dick's not showing that much put on a sundress we'd like to see your dick imprint

00:56:41.920 if michelle you know what i'll do that i'm gonna go after this show probably tomorrow i'll put on one

00:56:46.800 of the sundresses oh yeah you guys are the same size you think uh she's actually losing weight

00:56:55.760 she actually uh so she's like 20 pounds heavier now you're both getting a smaller you're a smaller

00:57:01.440 size than than elizabeth no no no no i know i'm way bigger than elizabeth okay because if you guys

00:57:06.320 are both wearing like medium shirts and you just like this was no i didn't go down to small shirts

00:57:10.320 i finally i i've uh no i've lost enough it was mostly just in my belly every time every time he

00:57:16.320 goes down a shirt size really comedy goes down i'm gonna be i'm gonna be in toad's uh third grade

00:57:21.840 size pretty soon just yeah yeah small shirts now the youth small some small shirts but i would just

00:57:28.720 go ahead and advise you stick with medium i feel like you're in that that roided out dude mode where

00:57:33.600 you're like oh yeah i look great in this small it depends on where the shirt's from but i'll tell you

00:57:38.960 that uh shorts definitely have to go to small now i had to like actually hey any any parents

00:57:44.640 in the chat i want you guys to to respond if any of your kids uh weighed 38 pounds in second grade

00:57:50.560 dude cole's cole's cole's muscles would like burst through a small shirt like i don't even get it

00:57:56.400 there's no way that dude i'd like i'd like to see you wear one so my dick and burst through my pants

00:58:00.960 let's i think i have i think i have a couple right now i can probably all right hey go put it on right

00:58:05.200 now i'm literally i have cutoffs that would be it's like yes all right is there any other questions

00:58:15.760 now my kindergartner's 45 pounds one year old one more one more

00:58:21.600 and for the record i don't know if michelle is a man or a woman i don't know but i don't know i don't

00:58:25.920 know either but if she's oh were you weren't you didn't you tweet that out yesterday yeah he

00:58:29.840 tweeted that he he took his bold stance he's like i actually think she's a girl like yeah no

00:58:34.640 to the fucking libs yeah yeah that's that's he's trying to get that daily wire money this

00:58:40.800 motherfucker dude that that's what the question is right find one find one picture of her pregnant

00:58:46.000 one dude i've seen pictures of her pregnant but i don't know you have it no you have not yes i

00:58:51.360 have you ever pregnant i'll show you three with her penis clearly this is what i'm saying i don't

00:58:57.360 know what the fuck's real there's too much deep fake shit now yeah you can you can't what are you

00:59:03.360 mama pregnancy oh no this is a whole nother yeah conspiracy theory right like oh where where'd

00:59:11.120 you see you're pregnant oh yeah that's not her that's not her there but this is the type of

00:59:15.840 shit i'm saying i see i see you fucking her pregnant i don't know if it's real or not no no

00:59:19.920 what are you saying i'm saying it's not there there is go look there's one that was a different

00:59:24.640 woman that was not her you got that tim cast job another jew money's coming what is going on

00:59:29.600 yeah that's not her yeah making up oh my god that's our pregnant

00:59:36.000 that's her pregnant right there that's a nice baby oh it's not showing through i'm telling you right

00:59:43.520 now i i do not have it's like you can see where he's trying to tuck it but it's so big that he

00:59:49.280 couldn't even get the whole thing those might be balls really meaty clit i'm not even sure that's

00:59:55.200 a picture of michelle on the right like is it i don't even know i believe it's oprah yeah yeah for

00:59:59.520 sure clint is so is so in denial about this he's just like i don't even know that could be

01:00:05.360 the levels of conspiracy required to put a lady dude dude she's a woman she just has a massive clit

01:00:12.960 if i mean if she's a hideous woman but i think she's a woman if michelle obama came up to you

01:00:18.000 clinton said i can n esg tomorrow but you got to suck my dick would you do it

01:00:25.920 for the sake of our for the sake of our children yeah i mean so far as troons go that's not doing

01:00:31.600 so bad i mean don't get me wrong i do think that america got psyoped when they tried to act like

01:00:36.000 michelle obama's like with the most beautiful like first lady or whatever i don't know maybe that's what

01:00:40.240 no no no but that's what they will do if they know she's a man they're going to be like no we

01:00:44.480 have to get make everybody think she's i mean definitely not beautiful but i'm not sure she's

01:00:50.160 a she or e i don't know so far as like trannies go on the upper end let's be real what no way

01:00:56.160 if that was a tranny like so far yeah what kind of trannies are you regularly seeing like it's

01:01:01.920 the blair white's upper end okay are you just like are you just like are you talking about like tranny

01:01:06.720 porn is that what you've been looking at seeing all the cute trannies i don't know any i don't

01:01:11.520 know have you not seen the hideous troons blair white i would be up her end as a tranny

01:01:26.960 stupid i was gonna say as a tranny she's in this like golden zone where she's not

01:01:32.720 like she's not expected to be pretty and she's kind of ugly so it's like like like you know like

01:01:37.360 an ugly woman she looks like right but then she started showing dick everywhere and people got

01:01:41.120 suspicious dude y'all for real believe it's a dude huh she just looks like a dude no what i'm not

01:01:45.840 this is unironically i believe she's a dude yeah i agree she's a dude it's weird that you guys keep

01:01:50.000 saying she who paid you off huh hey i might hate trannies but i'm not transphobic all right

01:02:02.160 yeah that's right i'm not scared of them i just hate them

01:02:06.880 i can't believe this many people are watching this i'm sorry guys we're up to 83. anytime i actually do

01:02:12.880 like a back day workout i picture uh michelle obama and i'm like this is what i'm working towards

01:02:18.560 like yeah honestly honestly like mike be like you fucking wait wait speaking of that do we have

01:02:25.360 the tweet uh to award faggot of the week before we forget whatever you want to be like mike wait

01:02:33.040 if i had a dream board you know how like uh tony robbins talks about a dream board i would

01:02:36.400 definitely have michelle obama's back up there do we have another question kill her back yeah

01:02:42.160 yeah i think we have we'll do one more yeah people pay what's the coolest thing that's a terrible

01:02:46.960 question i mean they're good for booty calls uh you know you keep a good one around it's good to

01:02:53.280 keep local in that sense but if you're if you got like a main squeeze it's not good because that's

01:02:58.160 way too easy to mix shit up get in trouble you know stuff like that yeah you want to do locals as

01:03:03.360 in yeah it isn't other like like what clint has he's frozen right now so he can't defend this anytime

01:03:08.560 he goes to other fucking uh cities he's got his locals there yeah oh you're talking about like

01:03:13.840 locals i'm thinking local like near you yeah like the locals yeah yeah hot locals in your area yeah

01:03:22.000 yeah yeah i mean if you're like an on the road you know kind of guy like trends etc like him yeah i

01:03:26.480 mean once he's got a girlfriend like you know i think i think they're talking about our locals at

01:03:31.040 towergang.locals.com yeah and i will say about mail mike mail mike the best thing about our locals is

01:03:36.800 all of our supporters except you well okay you get it i'll i'll i'll be honest with you guys because

01:03:43.280 he asked this question i don't know what locals even really is like i other garbage

01:03:51.840 what liz cut clint's power yeah where the where the where did clint go that's so funny he's dead

01:03:59.760 probably oh my gosh i actually came back and threw him off the uh the tower like we know what instagram is

01:04:05.360 right instagram is pictures and twitter's words and facebook is old people but locals i don't know

01:04:09.440 what exactly it does i mean for us all it functions as is a spot to get mailbag questions from

01:04:16.000 it's just a place to put money and money we gotta get money so we can buy the um the the shirts that

01:04:22.000 we want to get the i mean yeah oh actually that's a good segue so guys we actually uh we have some new

01:04:29.280 merch out and it's influenced by a lot of the things that we said on here so one of the designs

01:04:34.400 we got the mythical you can buy that at toplops.com it's on a t-shirt another design is that one

01:04:39.360 supposed to be kind of more penis like or was that it's a penis it's a little oh it is a little dildo

01:04:44.000 should have gave more a little bit more of a mushroom head make it but i guess i'd be like

01:04:46.960 maybe a little tip on it maybe a little like maybe a tiny little crease a little also like line to

01:04:52.320 indicate like a kind of can we not be fucking jewish like controlled here and get that as an

01:04:57.680 uncircumcised penis as well that is true i'm sorry i'll be better next time what the

01:05:02.080 fuck that's and then we got our our dingers which which what cole's talking about so you can pick

01:05:06.880 that up at toplops.com yeah the ding we want to take we want to make that one into a baseball

01:05:12.000 jerseys kind of thing and have dingers across and then our our names on the back and some

01:05:17.200 our favorite numbers yeah so why don't you guys why don't you guys give us money so that we can get

01:05:21.920 that because we're gonna get i want like the nice jerseys too like the ones that use the mlb because

01:05:26.560 like it's this next level like it's the like the nice button-ups with the like like i think um

01:05:34.160 clint said this the tight sleeves on there too not the baggy like 90s sleeves like the nice tight

01:05:39.920 sleeves sorry guys that was my totally real wife right right oh sure i'm sure it was all right uh

01:05:47.920 what else what else was giving me shit she was like guys just wear baseball jerseys and i was like

01:05:52.400 hell yeah guys were basically she was like girls wear baseball jerseys and i was dude i think it'd

01:05:56.800 be dope like especially get individualized by name it's like that whenever we have our first live

01:06:00.800 event maybe at a at a like maybe a certain like skank fest or something like that uh you know what

01:06:06.080 i'm saying uh that'd be i just still i just want to get it just so we can play softball and actually

01:06:10.800 i think it'd be dope like first live event we have those and then like if you're at some event

01:06:15.280 especially if it's some big event like that and they see you around it's like makes you easy to

01:06:18.720 identify yeah kind of like branding on the go listen i have to wear a baseball jersey when i

01:06:24.000 go out and hit dingers yeah okay yeah what's up paul yeah paul is always uh always on end time

01:06:34.880 um little dicky do we have any videos that we can pull up here because i know we had a lot of it

01:06:39.120 was busy in the chat this week so just go ahead and show us something it's always busy in the chat

01:06:44.720 i don't understand it was that a reference that always sunny yes all right very nice

01:06:54.400 let's see oh i didn't see this oh no i do know that there was that video that clint sent in

01:07:00.400 that told us not to watch it to watch it on the show but i guess since he's not here we probably

01:07:04.560 should wait for him but that is one that yeah he said uh his he explicitly said do not watch this until

01:07:10.720 the show so that's true okay uh go ahead someone read so i watched it no i didn't i ran out of

01:07:16.640 fabuloso so i boiled some bleach tell me why i passed the out because they're putting they put

01:07:22.480 fabuloso in their air fresheners right and then they jesus christ right so for audio only this is a black

01:07:30.400 person if you could not figure that out if you couldn't tell we've been talking about apparently

01:07:36.640 some black people boil fabuloso to use as an air freshener fabuloso is a surface cleaner and

01:07:42.320 disinfectant correct and then it's telling people that boiling it on your stove is hazardous to your

01:07:47.680 health and they wouldn't be able to they wouldn't even be able to tell if it's burning because

01:07:51.360 they're they're smoking black people are ending up with gulf war syndrome

01:08:00.720 imagine imagine if uh like joe biden's son actually just died from his uh black uh like roommates at

01:08:06.240 the in uh the war like actually just boiled fabuloso and that's how he died instead of

01:08:10.080 one of those burn pits yeah no yeah all around yeah just like other stuff he just has like just a whole

01:08:16.880 bunch of black guys that he's like uh roomed up with in the military and they just keep feeding

01:08:20.960 them like uh uh bleached chicken and uh putting bleach in air fresheners it was it was actually

01:08:27.040 because uh biden was hanging out with corn pop yeah that's all right all right what video this is

01:08:34.320 like uh i did see something about how i think it was uh like the aboriginals um they had to put out

01:08:42.560 like in australia they had to put out a press like a music video to tell the aboriginals not to uh drink

01:08:50.640 uh gasoline i think it was drink gasoline or like uh yeah yeah if you i think you can you can

01:08:55.760 probably look it up they made a whole music video half gasoline maybe no no i think it was

01:08:59.680 gasoline gasoline gasoline that's insane dude i i don't believe you you're dicky you can look it up

01:09:05.200 and find it but i did watch the the music video and it's at least your line comes from like a more

01:09:09.040 adorable retarded place it was it was something to do with and i want to say it was uh there's something

01:09:14.960 with gasoline why a music video though because that's it was have you ever seen aboriginal

01:09:21.520 uh the people like the black people yes yeah yeah so yeah they they respond well like all like

01:09:26.640 people to to rap music that's all that's the only way they can get information it's like the jamaican

01:09:31.600 thing i told you guys in jamaica like on on the ride on the on the roads it would be like you know

01:09:36.480 buckle up or you'll get fucked yeah it was for huffing okay you're right it was for huffing okay i thought

01:09:41.600 for some reason i'm thinking of that other video also of that old like black guy where he has like

01:09:45.920 a little plastic cup and the guy he goes up to a dude uh at a gas pump and he's like can you give

01:09:51.120 me some dude just like okay he fills it up and he just goes and just slurps down it wasn't just because

01:09:57.840 like they were siphoning gas and like accidentally drank some of it but no if uh if you can find um

01:10:05.360 that video of the uh the music video of the aboriginals it they did it was the australian

01:10:09.840 government was like hey stop huffing gas wait did you did you guys watch out though no we didn't

01:10:16.960 watch it yet not yet no no that's that i told i said that we were gonna wait on that till you got

01:10:20.960 back oh thank you we were we were talking about the black people uh sniffing fabulous they're boiling

01:10:25.760 fabuloso as an air freshen oh dude yo what's up with black people man what's the deal with black people

01:10:33.680 what the fuck are they doing what why is it always cleaning goods that they're like

01:10:38.800 misappropriating oh grilling their cookies oh yeah yeah they're good that's good though grilling a

01:10:44.080 cookie it probably is good like yeah you get that like hot cookie and then you can throw some ice

01:10:48.480 cream on it i feel like you make it really soft and this is the least concerning thing that black

01:10:52.880 you know what i like you know what i like with my cookies i like the taste of lighter fluid when i eat my

01:10:57.760 cookies yeah oh yeah charcoal that's yeah yeah yeah this is a charcoal grill right here yeah so yeah

01:11:04.080 yeah i mean yeah but you know they'd like they probably don't flavor to it oh that actually sounds

01:11:08.560 good i i didn't eat it i don't know if i want smoky with my cookies though i don't know i don't know i

01:11:14.800 think right next to the washed chicken as well

01:11:17.760 do you think they washed their cookies as well they're just like i gotta get this

01:11:27.440 yeah oh yeah for sure all right play the play the aboriginal video please oh so okay is that what it

01:11:33.840 was is that what you sent clint yeah dude all right i i don't know what this is i sent it i sent it like

01:11:40.400 almost a week ago is this it or is this a different one i don't think this is the one i was talking about

01:11:46.080 this is some other one oh no this is it this is it okay yeah this is so wild bro who is this uh

01:11:57.840 singer is this ai no if it were they'd start eating each other at the end they start to hold their hands

01:12:06.240 no it's a trans dude in uh australia singing about his sister and and like you're watching this and

01:12:17.200 you're like this isn't that funny clint get ready wait wait this guy woman this guy's trans i just

01:12:22.400 thought he was an ugly dude with long hair no it's a chance whatever yeah what the whoa whoa whoa is that

01:12:33.200 is that is that i thought it was a dildo he was holding dude dude i thought i thought that was a gorilla

01:12:41.760 wait wait keep turn it up turn it up

01:12:48.400 oh

01:12:54.320 i think the dude on the left is about to die

01:12:58.560 these aboriginals are trying to get that spirit out of the pianist i swear to god

01:13:02.400 oh my god what the is this tv

01:13:07.280 hey this is just next level ebonics man that's all this is this is like some voodoo

01:13:17.200 fucking exorcism dude they always say black people have rhythm this is the worst like

01:13:22.800 fucking beat i've ever heard dude dude these these people these people look like dude these people look

01:13:30.240 like neanderthals they look like they're living in like look at look at look at she's trying to like

01:13:35.680 honor them whenever it goes back to a wide shot look how long the arms of the left guy are

01:13:42.160 dude these people look like they were transported here from 2000 bc those are swinging from vine arms

01:13:47.680 right right there dude look at why does he have like like yellow hair they're so long are they not

01:13:55.600 yo this is the first time that a white musician outdid a black one oh my god dude this is this is not

01:14:01.440 what i expected at all what i expected was that like the australian government was coming in and like

01:14:06.080 playing like uh like hip-hop music and stuff in the end that all the aboriginals would be like twerking

01:14:11.280 to it and stuff like like in jamaica this is not what i thought it would be at all this is like

01:14:16.240 play it again from the fucking oh my god he starts with the those uh loaves of bread or whatever

01:14:21.680 this is this is seriously so i love this this is seriously so much like me and my wife me and my

01:14:29.840 wife have been like since we're getting older we're trying to do stuff that like makes us uncomfortable

01:14:35.040 and like weird like go to jamaica i wish i was in this audience

01:14:38.960 this is the kind of shit baseline it's not so bad yo yo if we get if we get rich and famous off

01:14:46.800 this shit top me and you are traveling the world just going to see shit like this please

01:14:53.520 dude how is how is this show advertised trans musician controls aboriginal people with music like what

01:15:01.680 i do have the um dude this is like uh american idol but crossed with survivor yo no this is like

01:15:31.520 my so i used to play guitar with my 98 98 year old grandma and she only spoke spanish and she would

01:15:37.520 sing old spanish hymns over whatever i was playing just like this it wouldn't even be like wouldn't

01:15:42.400 be in tune wouldn't be to rhythm just old like yo tengo en mi alma tengo en mi alma dude this is and i'm

01:15:50.000 just playing like that was still too rhythmic also aren't those spanish songs like extremely sexual

01:15:55.120 usually it's like they like just just because you don't understand it or maybe maybe i'm just

01:15:59.280 thinking bad baby or is it or bad bunny i think it's bad bunnies things like all this it's like

01:16:04.560 crazy sexual they are like one of the old school songs like when i was a kid uh it's called the

01:16:09.440 suelto el pelo by this guy yandel and he said the suelto el pelo quita la camisa tu pantalon

01:16:16.080 y después te como completa so he said i'm gonna rub your hair uh i'm gonna take your pants off take your

01:16:22.240 pants off i got that i'm gonna eat you i'm gonna eat you out and like i'm like your grandma's like

01:16:28.960 wait that's what that was oh my god dude that's you slapped me uh hey i have the i have a ham i have

01:16:34.960 the gasoline sniffing video so this was made for like it was like an informational like music video

01:16:41.600 made to stop i don't know how you could compete with that yeah give me give me 10 seconds to explain

01:16:47.520 the way our production works for this show just for the audience's sake every

01:16:52.000 every day i see anything that i find funny i just drop it into the tower gang chat that's what i do

01:16:56.560 so for that particular video though i said nobody watched this we're playing it on wednesday just

01:17:02.240 trust me i wanted their original i want their like their first glance of that to be with you guys

01:17:07.120 so dude yeah thank you clint dude the the aboriginal people it's like they they have a

01:17:12.400 different understanding of what music is for they're like oh i hear these sounds this means

01:17:16.480 we're doing a rain dance now we're controlling the weather so so they're really like the jews

01:17:22.000 of the real times aboriginals are like native americans but they didn't get casinos it's like a

01:17:26.480 total bummer they're also joe brown points another thing there is also a don't sleep in the roads one

01:17:30.880 too like they had a big problem of like aboriginals just sleeping in the roads and so they were just like

01:17:36.160 uh they're like they had to make another music video i'll be like hey don't sleep in the roads either

01:17:42.240 don't help we'll play that after this go ahead and run it it's so funny

01:17:50.320 don't be rama rama

01:17:59.440 dude that was um the gods must be crazy i think right

01:18:02.480 this is our new plug music 100% of the demographic that sniffs gasoline

01:18:24.560 make up words

01:18:41.840 this is amazing i know i love it so much i'm gonna i'm gonna cover it on ukulele

01:18:54.560 i'm not gonna lie this kind of slaps

01:19:02.240 you really don't want to sniff gasoline we're gonna get a copyright strike for it

01:19:06.320 you know how bad you have to be sniffing like how bad it has to be just across the country to be

01:19:10.800 like we gotta make some music video and it has to be a fucking bang imagine you're like i'm sorry

01:19:14.640 your foot of the beat in your car and you're like you know what i do you know what i'm never gonna

01:19:19.040 stick very very important right now i've never been more serious in my life um i just got news

01:19:25.840 of something that i pulled off i didn't think that i'd be able to pull it off today and i did it today

01:19:30.400 so please little dicky go to the the chat the tower gang chat that you're in and play that video

01:19:35.600 i haven't seen it i haven't seen it so we need to we're gonna watch it here all of us together okay

01:19:41.920 we have we've got fans we've got fans now legit fans dude this this song is uh stuck in my head by

01:19:47.920 the way he don't be rama rama rama must be another uh snake slur that we can use yeah i think it's

01:19:57.120 stupid in aboriginal dude we're so that so that was also aboriginal people yeah bro what the

01:20:02.800 is this dude this is a um william hung right it's william hung yeah yes dude this guy is hung baby

01:20:12.720 you have to say the end word why is it not please it's it's it's it's little dicky's terrible

01:20:17.040 internet that he hi this is william hung from american idol it's tower gang wednesday motherfuckers

01:20:25.120 yeah life is so weird i feel like i'm hallucinating i never i don't even know who that is uh is he

01:20:39.040 was he good on he would know he was known for being the worst singer ever on on yeah yeah on

01:20:43.840 american yeah run run william hung on american idol when you get a chance to because this

01:20:48.080 they're like my life doesn't feel at all real is this real life oh my god that is your new tweet

01:20:55.760 on wednesday you just dropped that oh yeah every every wednesday just read that

01:21:03.360 i think i'm gonna have to redo the intro this is crazy that is a while dude dude i oh god

01:21:10.000 i love rama rama when we do the second show for gas digital like then whoa whoa whoa whoa

01:21:16.080 what nothing everybody we've been on gas digital since january

01:21:22.160 are we gonna have two separate intros because now i got to put this in he's saying now it's it's

01:21:25.600 tower gang wednesday mother yeah no the best the best part about lying about being on gas is that

01:21:30.640 when we're on it no one will believe us no one believe us i can't wait

01:21:35.200 actually on it yo you know who was on gas those aboriginals

01:21:38.560 who's on gas both aboriginals and tower gang i honestly i want to finish that music video because

01:21:49.760 it actually is that good it's i really in my head i'm imagining that weird noise he makes

01:21:55.520 and then you just that dry and then add in like a dope bass line and then that transitions well to

01:22:01.200 randoms and then drop that we can we can make a dope song out of that for real yo cole if you were let's

01:22:05.920 say let's say you were having sex with your wife and another woman in a hotel room and there was a

01:22:09.280 guy sitting on the bed but he wasn't jerking off and he was sitting there with two loaves of bread

01:22:14.960 would you be able to continue to perform oh god i mean can i eat the bread that he's using

01:22:24.960 hey hey run this i want i want them to know who william hung is because this is oh yeah it's so

01:22:28.880 strange you gotta fast forward in los angeles california um i originally born from hong kong

01:22:34.560 so i've been here in the united states for ten years and um i i currently studying at uc berkeley

01:22:40.160 right now fast forward to him it's kind of odd like why i told all this

01:22:43.840 bullshit yeah you know i'm missing school for two days in a row so they wouldn't like it if you got

01:22:51.920 through huh they wouldn't be happy if you got through no they wouldn't be happy if i go through okay

01:22:56.560 they wouldn't be happy if i don't go through two days of school it's dope because like we always

01:23:02.080 wonder if there's any autists that are chinese like we found them i love singing i prefer thinking

01:23:06.240 a lot how big do you think his dick is all right what are you gonna say i would like to sing ricky

01:23:10.720 martin right size i think you've got a big dick okay oh my god look at simon kell not not around to me

01:23:16.960 tell me tell me your name you blow me off like it's all the same you little fears and i'm taking

01:23:24.400 away like a bomb yeah baby talk to me tell me your sign you're switching sides like a gemini

01:23:34.880 you're playing games and now you're hitting my heart like a drum yeah baby well if lady light gets on my

01:23:43.600 side we're gonna wrap this town alive i'll let her wrap me up till she knocks me out he's actually

01:23:51.600 the best uh asian singer of all time she bangs she bangs oh baby when she moves she moves i go crazy

01:24:01.200 because she looks like it flies but she stays like a bee like every girl in history she bangs

01:24:09.200 she bangs thank you thank you william you did put everything into that if you would have told me i

01:24:19.200 love that if you told me this morning that we would be watching william hung perform she bangs on tower

01:24:26.080 gang i would have said probably not dude we never know what is going to happen going into an episode

01:24:34.720 we have no idea william hung fucking fucks with tower gang i love this shit all right guys you guys we

01:24:39.440 got what fag of the week left and uh oh yeah oh no no no we got sounds like turn that down turn that

01:24:45.120 out no that's not plug no no no no no no we got we got we got more to do but we're going to do plugs

01:24:52.960 real quick this is clint russell host of liberty lockdown host of tower gang subscribe to both uh

01:24:57.840 you know pimp my shit i uh yeah put the fucking bells on you hoes and uh i had a great sit down

01:25:04.960 with the gop chair for colorado who there has been this big arrangement between lp colorado and

01:25:12.240 the gop of colorado check it out and uh tomorrow i have a episode with dick russell who's a biographer

01:25:17.200 for rfk junior he answers a lot of questions in depth about who rfk really is i love you guys

01:25:22.400 we're all doing shows with dicks i love it all right this uh jose galison of the no way jose show

01:25:28.480 uh i'd suggest if you want to see some good content new recent content i just did a uh live stream with

01:25:34.080 dave smith it was a debate uh about the trans stuff uh dave smith and then uh charles cock it was a

01:25:40.160 uh actually it surprisingly has more number higher numbers in our fucking owen episode so uh definitely

01:25:45.840 go check both those out though wait what no it doesn't it does look at it right now at least on youtube i

01:25:50.080 don't i don't have a rumble account so that might be skewing it where's it at where's it oh my god

01:25:54.800 yeah 5600 oh yeah combined though combined though owen's got more yeah dude that's just that they did

01:26:00.080 uh did some numbers they fucking riffed on it on uh los but it already done most of his numbers at

01:26:04.080 that point but anyways i just had uh the q anon shaman i guess he likes to be called american shaman

01:26:08.800 i recorded with him last night actually brought jason rink on as a last minute addition because it just

01:26:12.960 kind of i felt like that made sense dude was fucking dope it's only on patreon right now so if you

01:26:17.600 don't want to support me financially patreon.com snowy jose 2020 it'll be up in about a week if

01:26:21.680 you're a poor uh but yeah definitely go check that shit out at targeting jose on twitter yeah uh top

01:26:27.120 lobster.com top lobster at top lobster everywhere uh merch engine check that out on friday our new our

01:26:36.400 new shit is going to be sick yeah these are this is my new merch on top lops i haven't done any new

01:26:41.040 merch so yeah we talked about it clint when you're gone we got reading is gay we got cia ontology we got the

01:26:47.040 january sixers the philadelphia shirt go pick up some terence terence terence yoki shirt go pick that

01:26:52.560 up thank you that's right cool uh fat comic dave on twitter and that's about it i'm not gonna

01:27:01.840 tower gang toad on twitter follow tower game pod everywhere we're on youtube rumble uh odyssey

01:27:07.360 towergang.locals.com throw us some support and you get to be a part of the mailbag hey for real if

01:27:13.600 you'll bash your questions if you love this show it's important you go to towergang.locals.com

01:27:18.160 because this show is absolutely banned everywhere it's just a matter of time support us while you

01:27:26.160 can so you can still find us when we disappear and i will i will i will be at pork fest this upcoming

01:27:31.120 week by the way so someone fuck him and someone fuck him uh either either fuck me or murder me either

01:27:38.160 ways i think monster ray is going to be there so maybe you'll find some luck i'll head to the drag

01:27:44.560 queen tent and uh i'll uh take up arms with maj it's it's weird how how this show hasn't been banned

01:27:50.640 but i i think like because i was just like three times on dick i was on dick masterson show and i was

01:27:57.600 like we are so much funnier than dick masterson it's like it's only a matter of time but didn't

01:28:03.040 didn't you say he was like early 2000 shock jock kind of thing it was it was weird it was a weird

01:28:07.840 vibe i i don't even care i'll say it yeah i got like early 2000 shock check i'm surprised they didn't

01:28:12.480 have a soundboard they like i was telling jokes and they were like unsure i told the six million

01:28:16.880 joke they got uncomfortable i was like whatever take your shoes off this is gonna be a long interview

01:28:21.040 buddy i enjoyed it i thought i thought you did great on there and uh yeah he's boring and lame

01:28:27.040 so i'm gonna because he was he's hating on uh eric july and i don't have any uh affluence toward

01:28:32.960 black people i mean eric july but it's just like affluence yeah i don't have any dude i have a lot

01:28:39.440 of i have a lot of affluence towards black people i have no idea what that would be i flash uh all of

01:28:45.760 my wealth at them it sounded like it sounded like it belonged there though right if i would have just

01:28:50.560 kept on going it sounded fine to me continue yeah that was it i said it confidently rebel bibble's still

01:28:55.760 going man now he's talking about biden shout out to ribble bibble

01:29:00.240 ribble bibble's killing it man i responded to him he he hasn't acknowledged the tower gang account

01:29:07.760 like commenting to him he just because he's he's just locked in bro we're begging you please come

01:29:15.440 over to reality here talk with us i'm telling you his brain's gonna break when he gets to episode

01:29:19.920 126 or whatever the yeah he could have been in the chat we would have been like talking to him

01:29:24.000 the entire time but no if anybody knows ribble bibble reach out and tell him no one knows

01:29:29.040 ribble bibble remember at the beginning of the show we thought his name was bipper dipper

01:29:33.840 sorry yeah it's oh wow so different for real guys go support the show we do have big things coming

01:29:41.120 uh and i mean uh the show i think is uh i don't know i really think yeah i mean we are on gas digital

01:29:47.360 so but uh for real big shit all right all right talk of the week and i gotta get the

01:29:53.120 out of here guys i thought this was uh all right jose just bounce you don't have to worry about it we

01:29:57.040 got a couple of videos i thought i did plugs go ahead it'll be like it'll be like oh and benjamin

01:30:01.360 it'll be fine see you later all right oh jose's bouncing in and out let him go it's okay

01:30:10.720 we still have one more video to watch i think we have one more video we had uh we have that

01:30:15.920 and yeah and we have faggot of the week to award yeah to do you want to do faggot of the week i

01:30:20.720 know you uh all right so this is this is you know how oh i forgot about this what's it called when

01:30:26.240 when uh bollywood you know how they like remake our movies and shit well this is a remake of michael

01:30:30.320 jackson's they did not remake triple r is not a remake of anything it is that you're right completely

01:30:35.040 original and completely amazing wait i apologize cole you're right wait they remade uh finding

01:30:41.600 neverland is that the name of it no no no no they remade um what's the what's the michael jackson one

01:30:46.880 where the gangs fight oh beat it yeah they remade i guess is it beat it or thriller i forget no beat

01:30:52.960 it this is beat yeah it is beat it yeah all right check it out check it out they remade beat it

01:30:56.320 oh my favorite part about this is that they're in uniform they're it's the grays against the blues i

01:31:04.720 didn't yeah dude yeah they're in the one red we got a dude they got the one blood grays against the

01:31:10.320 blues they're they're reenacting the u.s civil war do you think that they agreed to only slap

01:31:15.360 that's what the quick and kick slaps and kicks yeah like no one no one closes a fist that was a good

01:31:20.960 kick actually i'm not gonna lie it would be fun to have a slap battle with the homies well

01:31:26.080 you can really fuck people up with a palm strike i mean you can like i mean i still i'd still knock

01:31:30.960 all these dudes out with a point they're fighting in the dish that they in yeah that's what i was

01:31:35.520 solid i was like yeah well here's the thing though if you as an american were to try to join this fight

01:31:42.320 you would immediately be knocked out by the smell of it but they're all but they're all used to it

01:31:47.520 you know it smells crazy over there you know it smells crazy yeah they're all it's just so crazy like

01:31:52.560 again like they just were like okay we're only slap fighting guys okay and all right and then they

01:31:57.040 just fucking walk up on each other and it's like all right we wear blue today y'all wear gray so we

01:32:01.840 know so because we all i can look the same like my favorite though my favorite though is the lead

01:32:06.480 dude he's like the one indian that's six feet tall and he's in the front and he takes that first

01:32:11.440 first jump kick missus dude dope it's the it department for scat the bomb it's the no one says

01:32:19.520 the bob versus the vagines

01:32:24.720 oh my god god damn it why are why is our audience funnier than us it pisses me off oh my god that's

01:32:33.520 what makes the show great right there yeah show bobs baby hey for real though we couldn't do this show

01:32:38.320 without you guys you for real like some of our best moments are us dying from the chat the

01:32:43.120 the bubbles ribble bibble made it to episode five so he's he's still on it right now he it's the drew

01:32:52.720 hancock what he says drew hancock looks like a psycho he's going one by one through these in order

01:33:00.880 like could like consecutively right now fucking ribble bill he's gonna freak out there dude that's the

01:33:07.360 episode where i talked about being insanely high and being swarmed by pugs in my mind and then

01:33:12.000 skull fucking them think about think about the go watch that go go watch that episode the highs

01:33:16.480 he's gonna feel he's like wow they made it on tim cast oh he gets to see holy they're on gas

01:33:23.440 episode he gets the first dave smith yeah that's pretty dope i wish i could relive that

01:33:27.760 don't you wish you could re-listen cole yeah to that i mean i don't know if i can man

01:33:32.240 i lived it brother i don't need to go back dude he's he's four episodes away from robbie the fire

01:33:38.320 measuring his ass i just i keep it in my mind's eye top that's totally what i meant to say yo dicky

01:33:44.160 says we got two more videos plus fact of the week i i just wanted to say real animus about the shoe on

01:33:48.640 head episode i'll never re-watch it because i'm so upset we blew that like we did you know you know

01:33:54.160 how beautiful what we did with owen was now completely 180 degrees that's what we did with shoe on it

01:34:00.240 we didn't we didn't know what we were doing man i still blame jose i think i'll tell i'll tell the

01:34:05.520 audience what happened so i wasn't even really on the show at the time i drew shoe on head got her

01:34:12.880 on the show watch these niggas blow it and then i said give me a microphone i do want to say this

01:34:19.280 exactly how it happened that was probably past the mic top that was probably your worst art drawing too

01:34:24.640 it was it was it was shitty it was funny though it was funny though oh it was funny but it looks

01:34:29.920 i mean compared to what you do now like that it was like i mean like dude it was less uh gang

01:34:35.280 banging shoe on a couch no but but it was like a third graders drawing i look rough

01:34:44.880 it's okay it's okay i'm used to having screenshots of me that make me look totally retarded that's right

01:34:49.440 nick ashley's dad uh came on to say uh white women must be stopped i believe yeah that was like the

01:34:54.560 one silver lining thank god was that why nick wasn't on the episode that you guys were like we're gonna

01:34:58.960 we're just gonna quiz her on politics and nick was like no this is gay i'm out no no he he wasn't home

01:35:04.640 or something but he but he came in just to have his dad deliver that line josh smith with his

01:35:08.720 fucking levels turned up to 25. yeah that's all right go ahead and run the video when you get a

01:35:18.160 brutal grift uh oh yeah this is a good one yeah it's all right saying the n-word without saying

01:35:25.600 the n-word without saying the n-word if you use any of these terms or phrases in reference to black

01:35:30.960 people you are just as racist as the person that actually uses the n-word here are the words chicken

01:35:36.880 washer ghetto welfare queen lazy race baiter race grifter threatening angry dangerous or you say

01:35:45.040 that we're playing the victim or we are a diversity hire what you actually mean to say is the n-word

01:35:51.520 just stop it if you say these words or phrases you are calling us the n-word if you say these

01:35:56.640 ignorant racist terms or phrases around your children you're also teaching your children

01:36:00.800 to be the funniest part about this all it does is just makes me racist like it just like you're not

01:36:06.640 you're not non-racist as you thought you were and you certainly i'm not trying to be non-racist

01:36:10.880 no you gotta you gotta be actively anti-racist dude is this joe jargon here's the problem here's the

01:36:15.920 problem though is she's not she's not upping these words to the n-word she's just taking the n-word

01:36:21.920 down to this level it's not so she's just being like she's just devaluing how racist

01:36:27.760 no exactly exactly so so when i'm gonna use the word dangerous from now on i can just say

01:36:34.080 pull up my tweet i sent in the chat because you're right cole they're not they're not like

01:36:38.160 like like really glorifying the n-word and really bringing it up to what it has been and what it

01:36:43.200 should be it's glory i did i did that so please pull up pull up my tweet i sent it in the chat little

01:36:49.120 dicky it's i just want to say real quick too that like there has been no movement in my lifetime

01:36:54.480 that has made me more racist than this shit this anti-racist shit wait it makes me want to be

01:37:00.400 racist because you're so condescending when you talk to me dude when i see somebody with a lazy

01:37:06.400 eye from now on i'm just going to call them a nigger eye jesus christ future president of the united

01:37:13.840 says the libertarian party movement will get so much more urban americans on board if there weren't

01:37:19.520 so many aspiring comedians doing racial jokes they find funny they look like they speak for a lot of

01:37:26.880 libertarians but they just have more free time to tweet goofy shit so what i got a lot of time

01:37:33.280 we're moving culture baby you can't you can't stop this train i'm gonna i'm gonna like you want

01:37:37.920 to talk about racial slurs we got chicken washers we got neckers is what is what i should have said

01:37:42.560 smoke detector americans movie talkers booth sitters clown shit connoisseurs powder eaters scholars and now

01:37:48.160 urban americans thank you for the contribution maj to ray maybe he'll come back on the show someday

01:37:55.840 no definitely not dude uh amazingly uh bipper dipper yeah he did he even commented on the show

01:38:04.400 he went right through that yeah he skipped right past the maj one if he had seen it he probably would

01:38:09.200 have stopped watching us oh racist awesome i uh i'm disappointed in imaj man i don't know why he

01:38:15.120 would like who who else could he be taking the shot at with that it's got to be us yeah there's

01:38:20.560 no other comedy show in our even though dave does the same shit we're the shit talking about me right

01:38:27.120 like whenever yeah oh it's definitely used to shit top yeah that's probably me

01:38:31.200 it's definitely like you're not you're not white so you can't be racist you don't have power plus

01:38:35.440 privilege no yeah it's it's definitely top because this is on the heels of the uh the anti-semitic

01:38:40.480 tweet that elon responded to and he never responds to any of mine i'm being as anti-semitic as possible

01:38:46.400 and elon won't reply to me i don't know what's up come on elon you already you already wrapped this

01:38:51.600 up no we got one more yeah one more oh one more okay one more i'm figuring it out i think it's i think

01:38:58.400 i know which one this is oh no oh god you're gonna trigger me before we leave huh so this is

01:39:05.440 this is an ai advertiser no we didn't say that faggot of the week yo we will in a second but we

01:39:11.920 will we will in a second but yo go full screen on that because that's that's toad in second grade in

01:39:16.480 the middle i mean that's that's that's that's that's a girl that's a goddamn nightmare is what

01:39:22.960 this is oh my god it starts off pretty okay except for these fucking obviously the hands oh my god

01:39:31.600 oh my god what is this

01:39:34.400 you got the bleachers we got them from spring till fall baseball is horrifying dude

01:39:44.160 kids drinking beer

01:39:49.600 it's the gatorade like instead of gatorade it's ketchup

01:39:56.880 oh my god

01:39:57.680 the fans are becoming hot dogs man listen to the music it gets like yeah it gets like demonic

01:40:07.440 dude why what and the blue jays logo is that's not what is that dude why why in every one of these ai

01:40:15.120 commercials does it end in fire like they start they start burning the place in every one of these

01:40:21.920 and the music you can tell that the music was based off of uh we're talking baseball you know

01:40:28.320 i don't know why why were they eating like like what's like spleens it looked like they were

01:40:32.160 eating organs i think it was supposed to be hot dogs i think it's supposed to be ketchup and mustard

01:40:35.760 but it just becomes blood and guts it's just it's ketchup and mustard yeah and it winds up on everyone

01:40:41.360 and they started getting ebola their faces just falling apart this is crazy kids drinking beer

01:40:48.400 that's the best part of this fucking thing the kids are sucking beer like a dick and you guys you guys

01:40:52.640 wanted to you guys wanted to dip out before we saw that you're out of your fucking mind

01:40:56.080 you know uh anything else i got a faggot of the week if you want i don't know if that's anything

01:40:59.840 else we we got we got to award it man it's pride month we have a faggot of the week every week okay

01:41:05.200 so i already know it so the faggot of the week is toad

01:41:08.720 toad it's the tower power hour slut no way jose liberty lockdown

01:41:18.400 reed

01:41:21.200 cole top lobster and toad

01:41:25.360 tower gang tower gang tower gang tower gang tower gang tower gang tower gang

01:41:29.360 gang tower gang tower gang tower gang tower gang tower gang tower gang tower gang tower gang

01:41:45.440 they speak courage you spend more than rogan you fed you fed truth bombs weather tim cast hotel

01:41:51.920 More offensive, L-O-S, no disrespect.

01:41:55.020 More offensive than L-O-S, no disrespect.

01:41:57.000 Yes, I am.

01:41:57.540 Redhead Libertarian is their best friend.

01:41:59.460 Unless they get raided, then they never met.

01:42:01.440 Never met.

01:42:02.040 None of this shit be new to me.

01:42:03.520 Truly.

01:42:04.000 Clint is a sexual brood to me.

01:42:05.540 Sorry.

01:42:06.000 No booster seat, get them tall boots on you.

01:42:07.740 Not a mitchat.

01:42:08.040 Fuck every podcast, that won't stoop to me.

01:42:10.060 Random.

01:42:10.260 Libertarian won't be the same day revolution-y.

01:42:12.500 That's a word.

01:42:13.060 I misgrammared, send it, it rhymed dubitably.

01:42:15.520 That too.

01:42:15.940 Promote myself on their shot, stupidly.

01:42:18.020 Comedy philosophy, markrandom.com, user free.

01:42:20.600 Random.

01:42:20.920 I'm single lady, so please choose with me.

01:42:23.500 They scream Tower Gang worldwide.

01:42:25.120 Tower Gang.

01:42:25.500 Tower Gang rise.

01:42:26.460 Together we will overthrow.

01:42:28.740 Tower Gang, Tower Gang, Tower Gang, Tower Gang.

01:42:31.120 Tower Gang, Tower Gang.

01:42:32.960 Liberty lock is truth say.

01:42:34.940 Same with lobster, coal, and Jose.

01:42:37.480 Toad is sick, no way, Jose.

01:42:39.480 If you read, I ride Jose with Jose.

01:42:42.580 Pay me dates with all his fame.

01:42:45.000 Tower Gang, Tower Gang, Tower Gang, Tower Gang.

01:42:47.580 Pay me dates with all his fame.

01:42:49.800 Tower Gang, Tower Gang, Tower Gang, Tower Gang.

01:42:52.780 Tower Gang, Tower Gang, Tower Gang.

01:42:57.580 It's so fucking hard to line up the syllables, you know.

01:43:01.000 Tower Gang, Tower Gang, Tower Gang, Tower Gang.

01:43:03.440 Tower Gang, Tower Gang.

01:43:05.960 Tower Gang, Tower Gang.

01:43:06.060 Tower Gang, Tower Gang.

01:43:08.300 Tower Gang, Tower Gang.

01:43:09.860 It's so fucking hard to line up the syllables.

01:43:11.460 Tower Gang, Tower Gang, Tower Gang.

01:43:12.320 Tower Gang, Tower Gang, Tower Gang.

01:43:14.380 Tower Gang, Tower Gang, Tower Gang.

01:43:16.200 Tower Gang.

01:43:16.440 Tower Gang, Tower Gang, Tower Gang.

01:43:16.920 Tower Gang, Tower Gang.

Tower Gang - June 15, 2023

Ep 127 - Ribble Bibble

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