Ep 127 - Ribble Bibble
Episode Stats
Length
1 hour and 43 minutes
Words per minute
199.49335
Harmful content
Misogyny
130
sentences flagged
Toxicity
645
sentences flagged
Hate speech
299
sentences flagged
Summary
Toad and Top Lobster are joined by Fat Dave, Cole, and Jose to discuss a variety of topics, including: What is a chicken washer? How many people should you have in a threesome?
Transcript
00:00:06.000
So I can only fit a third of my dick into Toad's...
1.00
00:00:12.000
You wanna kill me or you wanna give me a bone?
1.00
00:00:16.000
When I say fuck the Jews, it means I'm horny.
1.00
00:00:20.000
Any of you guys ever had the mythical where they put the whole thing in and then do that shit where they're...
0.99
00:00:24.000
The three of you had a threesome of some kind.
1.00
00:01:03.000
It's 9-11 Wednesday and you know what that means, you fucking stupid bitches.
1.00
00:01:13.000
I have been waiting all fucking week for this.
0.95
00:01:15.000
By the way, over 10,000 people watched their own Benjamin episode.
1.00
00:01:18.000
If this is the second episode you've ever watched of this show, strap the fuck in.
1.00
00:01:22.000
Strap your fucking dick to your kneecap and prepare yourself.
1.00
00:01:28.000
Get ready for the fucking harsh entrance of Tower Gang.
0.99
00:01:31.000
As always, we are joined by Fat Comic Dave, AKA Cole.
0.97
00:01:52.000
I'm glad that you couldn't handle it and you just bailed on this right before we started.
00:01:57.000
I think one more person would have been too many people to mix.
00:02:08.000
Unless you already have built-in rapport or you know.
00:02:11.000
But I know how Owen's vibe was and I knew there was no way we're going to build a sixth person there and not make it ridiculous.
00:02:33.000
Again, fighting suicidal tendencies to make it for another Wednesday.
00:02:51.000
This is, again, like we pick subjects and we're like, we'll hit this.
00:02:55.000
But just in the pre-chat, we were talking about Cole and I think we may have stumbled upon a theory.
00:03:00.000
It's like everybody's had their moments in the last couple of weeks.
00:03:08.000
But I mean, dude, the only one who hasn't had a moment in a long time is Cole.
00:03:13.000
Not only that, but Cole has missed like a couple of the huge moments.
00:03:27.000
Hey, I had fucking plasma a couple of weeks ago.
0.99
00:03:31.000
That was like seven and a half months ago, dude.
1.00
00:03:38.000
Dude, it is wild when I think about how long the show's been going.
00:03:45.000
Plasma is before episode 100 and we're episode 127.
00:03:56.000
He's been here, but he's been on vacation this entire time.
00:04:04.000
And it's not that he's phoning in because he, look at that sincerity on this motherfucker's
1.00
00:04:16.000
That sincerity that I'm talking about there, it doesn't leave him.
00:04:20.000
So he's not going to like, like just skimp on work.
00:04:22.000
He's going to do the work when he shows up to the gang.
00:04:25.000
The problem is that he's doing too much work in the gym.
00:04:36.000
I'd say he's on the higher end of advance, at least.
1.00
00:04:42.000
Anyway, the theory, the theory, the theory, the theory, the theory, the theory.
1.00
00:04:45.000
The theory is the more jacked Cole gets, the less fun.
00:05:02.000
Look, we're not the first people to come up with this theory, and it doesn't really have
00:05:06.000
It has to do with losing weight, because fat people are inherently funny, and then when
00:05:10.000
they lose weight, they just look kind of off and weird.
00:05:14.000
I want to point this out, that Big Jay Oakerson has been talking about taking Ozempic, and
00:05:20.000
If we see him dead down and funny, he's going to fall apart.
00:05:26.000
You just can't do tummy time with a skinny figure.
00:05:31.000
Big Jay, he'd be just as funny, and you could still call him Big Jay because he's like 6'3
00:05:36.000
He would be just as funny because he would be flabby fat.
00:05:47.000
Now I'm thinking about going on a Zipik as well, just getting really shredded.
0.85
00:05:55.000
Just come on, and all I do is just come on shirtless and nothing else, and just sit
00:06:09.000
The hotter the girl, the less good her intelligence level and her personality has to be.
1.00
00:06:16.000
You're becoming the hot girl of Tower Gang, and it's not working out for you.
00:06:22.000
So where would you put your wives on that scale, Toppin' Jose?
1.00
00:06:31.000
Jose will be like, my broad's a fucking idiot.
1.00
00:06:34.000
She's like retarded, but also really smart.
0.99
00:06:37.000
Like, my wife is any like higher concepts that's when she gets retarded, but like-
1.00
00:06:42.000
But like practical, like day-to-day things, she's great.
00:06:49.000
You didn't even realize the trap that he's set for us, and I feel like we have to answer.
00:06:53.000
He's saying like, either your wife has a shit personality, or she's really hot.
1.00
00:06:58.000
So that's what he's asking you, and I'm trying to figure out how to answer.
0.99
00:07:00.000
Oh, my wife can be a bitch, so, but then she's hot, so it completely lines up.
1.00
00:07:08.000
This is more for Todd, because Jose will be like, yeah, like I said-
0.99
00:07:14.000
We should go around the horn and say which of your wives we like best and least.
1.00
00:07:21.000
That doesn't count, Clint, because Jose's wife doesn't exist.
0.84
00:07:29.000
Why the fuck would I introduce my wife to you guys?
0.99
00:07:37.000
That's why my choice is Jose's wife, because she's the one who isn't real and doesn't exist.
1.00
00:07:42.000
This woman should be seen and not heard, except unless you're mean.
0.99
00:07:46.000
Even in a hypothetical, Toad found a way not to get laid.
00:07:52.000
But at the very least, I don't subject you to her bullshit, unlike you guys.
0.99
00:08:01.000
Whose wife do you like the most out of all of our wives?
1.00
00:08:08.000
I like Cole and Top's wife, but for different reasons.
00:08:13.000
I want a stone-cold stunner Cole's wife badly.
1.00
00:08:16.000
Well, I actually like Elizabeth the most, over my wife.
0.99
00:08:29.000
Yeah, well, and I've seen Cole and his wife in a threesome, so I think I have to choose
0.93
00:08:50.000
He finds and he brings up and he jerks off.
0.60
00:08:52.000
If we could bring in a sketch artist, could you describe it to him?
0.95
00:09:15.000
Dude, have you ever had a chick be like, yeah, like I had a double mastectomy or whatever,
1.00
00:09:21.000
And then she just whips out her nipple-less tits.
1.00
00:09:23.000
You're hanging around to me, Tranny's Toad.
1.00
00:09:25.000
What kind of fucking bars are you frequenting over there in Boston?
0.99
00:09:28.000
It's just like some bunch of parable-ledged chicks walking in there.
1.00
00:09:35.000
Wait, you had a chick at Tom Woods 2000 show you her mastectomy?
0.99
00:10:03.000
It's like a weird, bizarre mole that pops out of nowhere.
0.88
00:10:09.000
I bet, honestly, because I think we're going to bring this up about Jesse, who is that?
00:10:19.000
The right wing guy that was just like, I'm not going to lie.
00:10:31.000
Oh, are you talking about the tranny that was on the White House?
1.00
00:10:36.000
I mean, for knowing that that's a dude, nice tits.
1.00
00:10:39.000
For a chick, I'm like, no, those are some fake boobs.
1.00
00:10:47.000
You had that early 2000s internet porn type of thing happen to you.
00:10:52.000
By the way, I do want to say we were talking in the behind Cole's back group chat.
00:10:58.000
And we were debating whether we should fire him because he has lost a lot of funny.
00:11:01.000
But we may be going to a new format soon, and we need the flexibility for the addition of the host.
00:11:10.000
On the me not being funny thing, I didn't realize that I had a setting on streamer turned on that caused me to get drowned out.
00:11:20.000
All of my jokes have been suppressed by the audio suppression.
00:11:30.000
They said shut it down every time I had a joke.
1.00
00:11:35.000
You know how there's the hot, crazy matrix for women?
1.00
00:11:43.000
But you guys did kind of step on those getting out there.
00:11:46.000
I do want to let you guys know there's a solid chance we may be going to two episodes a week soon.
00:11:52.000
Hey, if you want us to go to two days a week, I need you to hit the like button right now.
00:12:01.000
If you want us to go two days a week, type in your social security.
00:12:02.000
If you want us to stretch this out even more and try to just squeeze the funny out of everything,
0.94
00:12:07.000
just fucking keep getting blood out of that stone, hit the like button.
0.94
00:12:13.000
Well, we're thinking we're going to go to what we do normally and then an additional episode that's more like guests and stuff.
00:12:19.000
Because we have complained before about like guests are off the vibe, but then we have one a week.
00:12:28.000
We've done like a couple weeks at two weeks for special events.
00:12:33.000
We had a ton of people asking to come on like that one summer.
00:12:41.000
If I could just add a couple inches, that'd be great.
00:12:44.000
Like, we're crushing it in a way that we have never crushed it before.
00:12:48.000
And yet we don't get so many guest requests anymore.
00:13:10.000
I'm angry the garbage man is bringing up in the chat.
00:13:22.000
Talking about old episodes, I'm going to shout out...
00:13:27.000
It was Bipper Dipper, I think his name is.
0.99
00:13:32.000
He's been going through the fucking catalog on Odyssey
0.99
00:13:42.000
I totally forgot that we did those episodes.
0.99
00:13:43.000
And to commemorate him, Faggot of the Week, Bipper Dipper.
1.00
00:13:47.000
He went back to the catalog of watching this.
1.00
00:13:53.000
What are you doing with your life on Odyssey 2?
00:14:13.000
No, if he's watching on Odyssey, he's definitely not in the YouTube chat.
00:14:18.000
What's funny is Bipper Dipper, who probably just watched his first episode with Owen,
00:14:32.000
I haven't watched the show since the beginning.
00:14:40.000
You never took any notes, never made any adjustments, never thought about,
00:14:50.000
Cole's like that prodigy that just gets into the NBA and just stops training at all.
00:14:57.000
I'm just gonna start flashing guns, which I do.
00:15:05.000
Cole's in the arc of his story where he starts to, like, lose steam, but then he's
00:15:09.000
gotta find his motivation and pick back up again.
00:15:16.000
I can't imagine what rock bottom for me would be like.
00:15:20.000
Get fired from a third job or some of the shit like that.
0.99
00:15:21.000
Cole, if you hit rock bottom, we can't, like, demote you.
0.99
00:15:27.000
Like, you're gonna get kicked off the show because we already have a toad.
0.93
00:15:36.000
I'm not gonna flip over to the other side and be suicidal.
00:15:37.000
Look, Cole, I thought you would always be funny, but you're not.
00:15:41.000
We should slowly replace all these guests with better versions of themselves.
00:15:57.000
My whole life, this is what I gave to my groups of friends.
00:16:00.000
Dude, it's obvious who we replaced Cole with because you need a funny, jacked manlet,
00:16:10.000
I think we can pull off Perry, but I don't think we can pull off...
00:16:12.000
Do you think Joe Rogan would even be good in this context?
0.93
00:16:16.000
If he was willing to fucking roll, but I don't think he'd be able to roll like that.
0.91
00:16:20.000
I think the closest it gets is his protect our parks and...
0.99
00:16:24.000
I'm gonna be honest, he's not invited, so fucking...
0.95
00:16:28.000
Imagine if he asked, come on, we'd be like, no, please, please, come on.
0.92
00:16:32.000
Haven't you seen Joe Rogan's nigger montage, though?
1.00
00:16:47.000
If there's a such thing as a retarded golden retriever, I would love to own one.
1.00
00:16:55.000
Hey, little Dicky, you want to bring up that video of the drunk lady?
0.92
00:16:59.000
Because we were just talking about wives, and we found a video of Liz after being date-raped
0.81
00:17:05.000
and dropped off on the wrong side of town.
0.99
00:17:07.000
And just kind of coming to, like, what the fuck is going on here?
0.98
00:17:17.000
Before we start this, where is she at on the scale of hotness to, like, personality?
1.00
00:17:28.000
I can't tell, like, because her personality is obviously a 10.
0.60
00:17:34.000
I haven't watched the video, so I got to know what her personality is like.
00:17:46.000
So today in Skits World, some random girl came to Six Doughnuts and started taking a piss
1.00
00:18:30.000
this is my favorite video this is like that movie get out
00:18:43.280
please tell me she's gonna run into the street please
0.99
00:18:57.580
they hear this so much in philadelphia that they just like it doesn't bother anybody
00:19:02.900
oh my god oh man there's only really commentary to be out of here
00:19:13.580
oh just the two of the weakest hits i've ever seen by anybody back to back
00:19:19.480
it's weird because like it's like the black people
1.00
00:19:21.520
this is great for our audio listeners like i mean this is really what they get anyway right
00:19:36.020
this is the nicest black people have ever been to a white woman though you realize that right
1.00
00:19:48.580
oh my god that's true especially when they're i mean it was only the black woman that got
1.00
00:19:52.720
yeah just he got absolutely shocked i'm sorry black men have been to white woman
0.88
00:19:56.920
oh that's true yeah dude i think when they're yelling like that and they're obviously drunk
00:20:01.320
i think it's just funny to everybody i think everybody just sees that as funny they can't
00:20:05.340
big chongo what up dude she was she was yelling at people of every race it was just like
1.00
00:20:10.700
every single person oh yeah he was he was just yelling at black people she was like
0.89
00:20:14.720
the white dude on a bike just like i'm just delivering postmates man
00:20:21.320
no if you if you watch it again she was targeting the blacks i don't want to watch it again but she was
1.00
00:20:25.680
i mean she did hit some whites but like let's be real niggers disproportionately are blacks
0.99
00:20:30.120
as opposed to whites so no i think i think it's something like 13 or 52 i don't know
0.99
00:20:34.940
disproportionately you guys see evamx candy or uh what's that other fucking please please
0.99
00:20:40.500
evamx clean d he tweeted about this and he was like she's possessed by a mayonnaise demon or some
0.99
00:20:45.520
shit it's so funny i think she just got absolutely like fucked up and then went to go like she got
0.99
00:20:53.220
picked up by a black dude and then like he like got with her or something and then she found out she
1.00
00:20:57.800
was like oh their dicks oh i didn't realize you were a nigger
1.00
00:21:00.380
so but she was at a donut store but she didn't have any how many donut stores are owned by black
0.99
00:21:07.740
people by the way i've never that's a great question zero it's always it's always vietnamese
0.99
00:21:12.680
and like um fucking white people that's it yeah white people yeah you know it'd be great though
1.00
00:21:17.920
if there was you know the movie liar liar i guess the movie liar liar black people doing anything
1.00
00:21:22.760
yes i know the movie liar yeah with jim carrey yeah you know you know how he can only tell the
0.99
00:21:27.380
truth it'd be dope if like if that's hold on if that was the premise of a movie cole is your dog
0.99
00:21:32.940
biting a squeaky toy right now yes my dog came in here cole he wants to play kill him kill him
0.99
00:21:39.120
no fucking legs man if you have a mental disorder where you have to literally just like yell slurs at
1.00
00:21:48.640
everybody you see well i mean that's you just really gotta call him like you see him that is
1.00
00:21:52.660
just a rat well have you seen have you seen that i can read the title no have you have you seen that
00:21:57.580
tourette's video of the guy that he he like they say it was that's that um that series where people
0.99
00:22:03.420
stand in a line for fuck's sake cole cole's trying to have like the squeaky sound behind him to
0.96
00:22:09.440
increase his comedy and it's not working cold it's like props guys yeah he's a prop comic now
1.00
00:22:15.800
that's that's how fucking far he's yeah this is this is some real real clown shit no if you could
0.95
00:22:21.240
find if you can find a really funny tourette's video i'd love to run that no i love tourette's
0.99
00:22:25.320
well no there's a great video i think i may have said in the instagram but it was
00:22:28.460
they was the that uh series where people line up and they have to agree or disagree with the question
00:22:33.880
asked and the question was it was like if you have tourette's is it okay to say the n-word
00:22:38.040
and one guy like said yes it's okay and immediately said it like he was like near
00:22:44.580
it's so fucking let me let me tell you the story let me tell you the story because this really ties
0.99
00:22:50.520
in um it's ridiculous professional operation here cole what the fuck cole cole if you if you could if
0.99
00:22:57.400
you could pretend to have tourette's for the rest of the episode that'd be it'd be fun
0.99
00:23:00.080
how do i how do i how do i make that chick my wife by the way where's where's she at i don't
1.00
00:23:07.700
know getting out of your fucking house go talk to some bitches just go to a club and shake around
1.00
00:23:12.500
a bag of blow let me listen let me let me tell you guys a story before i forget i was i was in
1.00
00:23:18.200
garbage mains chat uh yesterday and i almost told the story because it's so fucking funny i don't even
0.87
00:23:23.020
think i told you guys we go to the lake with our friends me and my wife uh some of our only friends
0.97
00:23:29.120
here just happen to be black people two black people go figure so we go to the lake with them
1.00
00:23:34.560
and their kids right that totally changes my entire opinion of you but continue you're you're
0.98
00:23:38.940
in jamaica still no we're in florida wait you go to the lake with black people r.i.p to the lake with
0.93
00:23:45.100
black people yeah they're awesome though they're really cool they're cooler than you guys actually
0.99
00:23:48.400
top does this over here top top top takes black people to the lake just to get rid of them
1.00
00:23:54.740
so so anyway we're there we enjoy a nice day at the at the lake and then uh i tell my kids all right
0.96
00:24:02.520
look let's start going because it's gonna rain so they come in and her kid comes in and then it starts
00:24:08.500
to drizzle and my daughter looks right at her and she says her name she doesn't look at any of us
00:24:17.080
and i die laughing because i don't give a fuck i look at my wife my wife is horrified
0.98
00:24:24.460
so i'm like oh my god i gotta play like i gotta play ball here so i just turned to the to the lady
0.98
00:24:29.700
and i was like we just love snoop dogg in the house and she goes oh my god we love snoop dogg too
00:24:35.400
so i'm like oh god now i gotta now i gotta like make up uh now you gotta pretend you like snoop dogg
00:24:40.600
i can't say he's the worst yeah i mean just i had to tell a story because the comedic timing
00:24:48.000
of like my daughter basically saying the n-word right to our only black friends was just like
0.99
00:24:53.480
i looked at her i cannot i cannot wait for my son to see just the random crazy shit he'll say
0.98
00:24:59.420
because i know just it's kind of hard because i don't i feel like liz will probably be this way
0.99
00:25:03.360
too my daughter especially my youngest she's the funny one but she'll say shit that you just like
1.00
00:25:07.580
dude you're 10 like you can't say that shit like me i'm just like and my wife will like pull me
0.99
00:25:13.660
aside like hey we can't be sending her out in the real world saying shit like that right i'm like
0.99
00:25:18.740
i don't know it's fucking funny like yeah people aren't gonna get that they're gonna see a 10 year
0.99
00:25:22.880
old saying hey get your butthole over here dude or whatever the fuck oh that's it oh that was the
0.97
00:25:28.760
first thing that came to my mind my wife recently like she has a bad thing the thing of always instead
1.00
00:25:32.220
of saying butt she just says butthole because she finds it funnier like instead of like get your
0.99
00:25:35.900
butt over get your butthole over here and it's like for a 10 year old it's hilarious
0.99
00:25:39.220
but she's like she's saying this just like normal people out in the world they're like what the
1.00
00:25:45.060
fuck yeah but yeah but she's right she understands comedy like the butt is is not as funny as the
0.99
00:25:50.460
whole think about it yes kids i was already thinking about it they inherently understand the
0.99
00:25:57.980
concepts which is it's befuddling as to why cole can't put together concepts lately because he has the
0.68
00:26:03.240
mind of a child but my daughter is literally the kind of kid my daughter is literally the kind of
00:26:08.160
kid that would come up to me and sit next to me like daddy why is it that we're not allowed to say
1.00
00:26:12.400
the word nigger and i'm like oh god what the fuck the kid said that to you well shit like that she will
1.00
00:26:19.860
be like n-word and i like i have had the honest got my wife hates it because i'll be like you should
1.00
00:26:24.780
just tell her she shouldn't say that stuff ever and i'm like well i don't know what's the context here
00:26:28.560
honey listen during during jim crow we could have got away with it but not anymore it's coming back
00:26:34.720
hold on it's coming back trump 2024 baby it's coming back
00:26:38.880
listen they've been pushing left for so long once that pinch zone swings back our way we're gonna be
0.94
00:26:44.760
good we're gonna be golden fuckers gonna be living at 130 again yeah trump uh dude his his new
0.99
00:26:50.720
slogan should actually be that that should be his whole pitch make make america say nigger again
0.98
00:26:55.040
all right all right let's go all right uh what do we got we got any uh mailbag this week or what
0.51
00:27:00.540
what's up mailbag we need like a mailbag song right yeah yeah we just got our bottom we used to have
0.81
00:27:07.100
it where where like someone would read it to us and shit now there's no theatrics it's just like
0.83
00:27:11.300
there's a banner you pull it up again sorry how many holes does a straw have art r asks how many holes
0.96
00:27:17.060
does a straw have one just one hole oh yeah it's like vicious um it's got a hole on both
0.99
00:27:23.500
don't ask us riddles you cunt immediately i would say two because well yeah you you think that but
0.97
00:27:31.280
that would be only on a two-dimensional plane like you know what i mean like if you're just looking at
0.95
00:27:34.360
the but obviously it's three-dimensional so it's just one continuous hole it's just one
00:27:37.780
continuous hole yeah it's yeah i'm thinking also it's a cylinder really it doesn't even have holes like
00:27:42.620
yeah which uh by the way is not a bad idea oh by that logic how many holes does a human have
00:27:48.060
yeah uh are you talking about they're all like one because it's just kind of like at least for
00:27:53.900
the mouth and butthole it's kind of you know one they're all connected if you thrust oh that's true
00:27:57.620
yeah oh dudes it is all connected so one hole yeah dude uh your nose holes are connected to your
0.99
00:28:05.360
butthole well no that's connected to your sinus that's bullshit to the reins and your digestive
0.99
00:28:09.800
system which would go to your butthole dude yes so that means the ear is the only one that throws
1.00
00:28:14.120
me off although aren't your ear canal somehow connected to like your sinus fuck yeah they are
0.99
00:28:17.520
they are dude one hole humans have one technically technically jose was right when he just was calling
1.00
00:28:25.520
bitches holes they just one they're just one hole yeah yeah the other day we're all all a hole well
1.00
00:28:32.720
man and that's that's the insult you can use when she's just you know constantly being an annoying
1.00
00:28:36.560
bitch you're you're a continuous wait a second so if you if you're dp-ing a girl you're both in
1.00
00:28:41.600
the same hole right yeah yeah it does make a case although no i don't know if when it diverges does
1.00
00:28:48.560
that mean they're separate holes no bro no it's one hole that's it okay yeah so so if you're uh if your
0.97
00:28:55.600
chick says that she doesn't if your chick says that she doesn't let you put it in the butt if she's uh
1.00
00:29:00.800
sucked you off then she's lying that's true yeah you just feel like i'm just putting it it's the same
0.99
00:29:05.360
hole babe it's not even it's not even different than it's just a matter of perspective if you think
0.98
00:29:15.760
the holes are relative they're all relative trust me the hole's relative now bite the pillow i'm going
1.00
00:29:20.880
in raw it's like einstein trying to talk his wife into butt sex this is great
1.00
00:29:26.320
it was a fucking fraud i mean theoretically let me penetrate you before the theory of anal
1.00
00:29:31.840
relativity i love it yeah top you you read that 101 tweet now you're just like oh yeah
0.99
00:29:36.800
fucking uh uh einstein's a fraud no no no were you on that way before him he saw one sam triply episode
0.99
00:29:44.800
yes one sam triply episode now like my whole world is einstein's an entire goddamn fraud
1.00
00:29:49.840
but i've been suspecting it for a long time because i was like look at this motherfucker can't even comb
0.99
00:29:54.640
his hair can't be that smart and i don't really trust smart people anyway that's why i
1.00
00:29:58.320
fuck with you cole do you think oppenheimer's uh was actually smart if i knew who that was i would
0.99
00:30:03.280
say no he's that's the adam bomb dude he's the creator of the atomic bomb yeah oh those are fake
1.00
00:30:07.840
so yeah no he's oh yeah that's true he's a total fraud he invented a fraudulent thing it's not even
00:30:14.400
real he just made it up by the way think think about how long that continuous hole is that's what's
0.97
00:30:19.680
blowing my mind right now because you have like miles and miles of intestines so you have to stretch
1.00
00:30:24.000
that out that's a that's a long asshole those are the kind of thoughts you keep to yourself
0.99
00:30:28.720
oh he's like what if i just laid it on the floor in my apartment like from side to side this is like
0.99
00:30:33.280
jeffrey thomber shit like oh look at this oh look how squishy it is oh it feels so good how long how
1.00
00:30:39.200
long do you how long do you think your dick would have to be to give him anal sex and have it come
1.00
00:30:44.000
come out of your mouth miles miles miles i mean technically it is an absolute average black man's
1.00
00:30:50.720
penis no no no it literally just has to be the length from her vaginal cavity to her her throat
1.00
00:30:55.600
because you just go straight through it yeah you're just going straight it's not like you're going to
00:30:59.360
defy the laws of physics and you have to oh that's true it's like it's like it's like it's like a
00:31:03.120
slinky it's like it's like you can stretch it out or you can just have it all just mashed up and just
00:31:08.400
yeah yeah oh this is this is saying it's five to six feet that can't be right
1.00
00:31:13.680
do you think gay dudes fix constipation by fucking each other yes i bet you that really listens it up
1.00
00:31:20.560
my wife worked with a gay dude listen to this and he was like the receptionist and she would
1.00
00:31:25.120
she would tell me all the time she's like this guy smells like ass like i can't figure it out yeah
0.99
00:31:29.200
and then there was like uh what was that black dude he's like flamboyant black he's a meme he's like
0.99
00:31:34.400
like like all this he was in like america's top next top model or something like oh i thought you
00:31:38.800
meant antoine dodson oh the one who's in like acting some modeling but he's like very like oh
00:31:44.960
huh assistant honey child like that this guy you know this guy walks into her job because she was
0.89
00:31:51.120
doing like iv infusions for like rich people and she she walks in and he starts telling her he's like
0.99
00:31:57.120
man that boy up in the front he's like i'm not washing his asshole he's getting railed out not
1.00
00:32:02.880
washing his asshole oh it's so so yeah we figured it out i was like yo they just be like all day long
1.00
00:32:08.880
but the the shit just drips out so they could never be constipated well just think about it like you if
1.00
00:32:13.520
you just like if you slam pussy the night before like you go to work or whatever you'll or especially
1.00
00:32:18.560
the morning of like you'll later like you'll kind of be like oh yeah that was fun i remember that oh
1.00
00:32:23.280
i thought you were talking about like your dick will just start excreting just pee
0.99
00:32:27.760
i've been coming so much it's just open man like you're moving all that shit around it's not like
1.00
00:32:35.440
yeah if you don't clean yourself up after getting buttfucked i'm sure it is like yeah you're leaving
0.99
00:32:40.480
shit all around the rim dog you know i'm gonna it's called santorum actually i'm actually gonna embarrass
1.00
00:32:46.080
my wife here just for a second because uh she didn't wash her ass no no no no no it's got it's
1.00
00:32:51.280
about ass uh this better be funny because this is your last opportunity to get a good joke before
0.99
00:32:56.240
she kicks you off oh yeah i'm sorry she's in the she's in the bath right now uh but uh she we were at
0.99
00:33:03.120
the gym and she sat down to do like reverse flies and she got up and she like looked at me and she was
1.00
00:33:08.640
like um is it normal that there's like after i sit down and get up off these machines there's like a
00:33:14.720
little like wet streak i was like yeah that's what she was like you sure it's not like badge
00:33:20.560
stuff and i'm like no it's just i have the same she was so worried that she was like leaking
00:33:26.480
everywhere i think i was like everybody has this i think your mussy is leaking all around the world
0.98
00:33:35.760
and not even know it it's incredible that they let these two get married because they're like
0.98
00:33:39.840
legitimately retarded she's like i can't tell the difference between sweat and vaginal fluids wow
1.00
00:33:49.200
she thought she was just she saw me and she just thought she was so horny from seeing me
1.00
00:33:53.760
she's just dripping all she was like i'm real horny but i'm not like humored at all i'm not sweaty
00:33:58.960
though yeah that's what i think when i when i see women at the gym i'm like that's not sweat they're
1.00
00:34:06.400
they're just so horny because i walk by that is it is a psyop that's a psyop toad like the women
1.00
00:34:13.520
no no women sweats it's all just vag imagine the concept of toad leaning on like one of these smith
1.00
00:34:19.760
machines and he's like yeah yeah so then i jerked off 32 times and the girl gets off runs away and
0.76
00:34:24.320
there's like a wet mark and he's like just made away another one he's like he like he's like oh yeah
0.80
00:34:33.200
that's another one just wipes it's on his forehead all right what is the type of dude that would
0.99
00:34:40.640
fucking lick lick the seat when bitches leave i swear to god oh dude dude i'll play a new game
1.00
00:34:47.760
i will remove the seat and wring it out onto my face he's that type of i wrote down some stuff
1.00
00:35:01.600
because i wanted to do this last week so i said toad the type of to pass out while taking a
0.98
00:35:07.200
shit he's just writing jokes with the type of toad the type of burger with a knife and fork toad
0.95
00:35:14.400
no incorrect i was close to the type of to pour his milk before his cereal nope wow i'm wrong to
0.99
00:35:21.280
the type of to get injured at a happy ending yeah dude dude when i sneeze i i i like lose feeling in
00:35:33.120
my entire left arm like i'm having another stroke i'm not kidding like sneezes are so painful didn't
00:35:37.840
you say you thought you're having another stroke just this last week or something like that
00:35:41.680
yeah yeah i like what you're doing down there wong chi but my uh my hips really acting up so i
00:35:47.520
don't i don't take it easy elizabeth is exactly right she said watching toad eat is like watching
00:35:52.240
an old little old man eat 100 i literally just sat there and watched him because dude you eat so
0.87
00:35:58.960
fucking like like you're 85 and like you have to just like slow if you eat too fast you'll literally
0.99
00:36:04.880
the type of nigga that eat his peas individually dude i eat individual grains of rice told the type
1.00
00:36:12.560
of nigga to grow his toenails mad long and complain his feet hurt no no i i i no i actually i hate long
0.99
00:36:19.360
nails dude i i can't i can't stand nails i literally dude i whip my toenails off
0.95
00:36:28.960
i can't stand you want his toenails chew on them yeah i feel like tone is totally that type of
0.70
00:36:35.440
nigga it's unbelievable i mean i mean i i mean i think i could physically do it yeah just sweat when
1.00
00:36:40.880
he eats hey i i used to i think i tweeted at this at one time i used to like get uh i used to eat and
00:36:47.920
get winded a lot that used to happen to me a lot what does that mean like i would eat so much i would be
00:36:53.440
out of breath i would eat like so much so fast i would just go like down like two burgers in like
00:36:58.160
five minutes they'd just be like well here's the thing i i can do that was so funny well it's weird
00:37:05.200
because i i could do like eating challenges where i'll like eat a large quantity really fast but then
00:37:10.240
when i want to like actually savor the food i eat like really slowly like i want i want to savor the
0.95
00:37:16.240
flavor i want to tell the type of nigga to tell a story or orgasmic i mean tell the type of nigga to
0.99
00:37:21.680
eat crunchy peanut butter told the type of nigga to pee next to you in an empty bathroom told the type of
1.00
00:37:25.040
nigga to have a secret tattoo oh he does have a secret tattoo i'll never tell something stupid
1.00
00:37:32.560
about boston too and it's like i'll never tell uh i do i i do a swastika on his chest like some
0.99
00:37:38.320
240 like resolution fucking boston symbol you know what i mean like awfully like from he's got he's got
0.98
00:37:44.480
little fighting irishman told the type of nigga to have like a cloverleaf tattoo yeah i love notre
0.99
00:37:50.000
dame uh no i um i do eat crunchy peanut butter what was the other one i don't even know uh told the
0.96
00:37:56.240
type of nigga to use those paper toilet seat covers no absolutely no i use them i don't i don't give a
1.00
00:38:01.200
fuck i just use toilet paper it depends it depends on where i'm at if i if i'm in a pretty bad
0.99
00:38:07.920
fucking uh gas station i'm not i gotta i gotta tell you guys a quick story so uh hopefully p.u although
0.99
00:38:20.560
and he holds his nose too he goes oh p.u yeah yeah i walk in dude when the most indian people are using
00:38:26.240
the bathroom with me i just go and pee you guys
0.99
00:38:32.320
that's what i had here told the type of nigga to jerk off at a threesome thank you very much i did do that
0.99
00:38:36.800
one um top uh there is some truth to the to the toilet seat one just because i try to avoid
0.99
00:38:43.120
shitting in public uh like as much as possible i'm a private pooper i like to i like to real quick
0.88
00:38:51.440
real quick story uh so i was i was in new jersey uh for icarus fest this past weekend and i was on my
0.91
00:38:56.960
way to the airport and i i i as i usually do i pooed before i left because i'm responsible and i know that
0.97
00:39:04.480
like you got a long travel day ahead of you you make sure you don't clean when you shit do you
0.99
00:39:09.200
wipe your ass like do you have to yeah of course i have to because he has like no butt cheeks it's
1.00
00:39:14.400
crazy like well but he also wears no underwear he wears no underwear too though so he has if he
1.00
00:39:18.880
doesn't wipe his ass there's nothing but there's nothing to wipe oh you're saying he like no no
0.99
00:39:23.680
there's plenty to wipe i still have an ass it's just tiny all right so i uh i poop i poop and i go and
0.99
00:39:29.680
i get my car and i start driving and i am the airport to miami is like far i it's not that far
0.92
00:39:36.800
but it takes like an hour all right i'm gonna speed this story up so i get i get on the freeway
00:39:41.520
and all of a sudden my stomach just like ignites it's like oh you yeah you just pooped but it was
00:39:47.760
just like clearing the blockage for some sort of disastrous chernobyl like event and i i i'm like
00:39:54.400
i'm driving i'm taking back roads because the traffic to miami airport's all and and i'm like
00:39:59.440
i can make it i have to make it i don't have a choice i'm gonna miss my flight if i have to
0.81
00:40:02.880
shit and i get to a point where my stomach is in so much agony that i'm like if i don't
0.98
00:40:07.440
shit in the next three to four minutes i may die like i honestly was like i'm going to die if i
0.99
00:40:12.720
don't shit very very soon yeah no i'm not even kidding like i had i had such excruciating pain i was
0.99
00:40:22.000
like i either shit my pants in which case i can't get on the plane anyways or i pull over and i
0.99
00:40:27.120
shit so that i i can still try and make my flight so i fucking i pull into this uh like this nice
0.99
00:40:34.160
residential retail place and it was like a bed bath and beyond or some shit but it was like super fancy
0.99
00:40:40.560
because everything in miami's fancy because everyone's where's the bathroom yeah but i'm
00:40:44.640
sweating dude i'm sweating and i'm but i have to play i have to play cool do the bathroom yo i have to
00:40:50.880
play it cool right because like otherwise they won't let you use the bathroom because like homeless
0.97
00:40:54.720
people ask for bathrooms and shit so i'm like i'm like uh yeah i'm just i shit you not this is what
0.98
00:40:59.360
i say i go hi um and by the way it started pouring rain i pull over my car fast as fuck i parked in
0.99
00:41:05.920
the handicap on them so i was telling them about i was a private money mortgage lender
0.77
00:41:10.320
that car right there does that look like the car of a homeless man that's all the primary colors you
00:41:15.840
does does a poor person have all of the primary colors i don't think so so i'm pouring sweat but
00:41:26.160
fortunately it just started to pour rain so you can't tell that i'm sweating but i am sweating
00:41:30.080
hard because i've been holding it for like five minutes or ten minutes and and i tell the lady
0.95
00:41:33.920
behind the counter there's three people there's no one in this fucking store it's a super high-end
0.96
00:41:37.600
store and i'm just like hey and i think quick because i'm fucking quick-witted like that i go hey my
0.98
00:41:43.040
wife is gonna meet me on her lunch she'll be here in 20 minutes is there a restroom i can use while
1.00
00:41:47.840
i wait and i and i am dying inside but i still say that sir you're clearly a middle-aged bachelor
00:41:56.320
this is all a fever dream he literally just it's all a fever dream he literally just went in there
00:42:03.680
but clint actually did this dude clint actually like ran into he ran into a home depot and used
00:42:09.760
one of the display toilets yo but i i swear to god by the time i get past these three bougie
0.98
00:42:15.680
russian bitches i was like i like stiff warm them i get to the bathroom and i sit down the reason the
1.00
00:42:20.960
reason that this like this this spurred this story is because i had to shit so badly that i didn't even
0.99
00:42:26.320
put down the paper i just sat down i just sat down and launched dude i launched so hard and i
0.89
00:42:33.040
swear i felt as if like my body lifted off the seat it it like the propulsion of the
0.96
00:42:40.160
feces leaving my ass made me feel as if i was actually elevating it was violent anyways that's
1.00
00:42:45.760
the end of my story your elitism is showing i've shit in porta potties and not give a fuck
1.00
00:42:50.240
yeah it's a rocket uh clint averted the ass disaster so that's good so i sprinted in there
0.99
00:42:57.760
and i said i need to take a poopy for the guys that use this paper on the do you here's my logic i
0.76
00:43:04.960
never use the paper i kind of if there's piss on it i'll wipe it off but like i just sit on there
00:43:08.960
because i'm like even when i take a bath or take a shower i don't even wash my legs it's like can your
00:43:13.040
legs even get dirty like honestly i don't think so legs so what am i protecting myself from if
00:43:19.440
anything it should be like in the like the front of the toilet where you did i feel like i'm more
00:43:22.640
it's more about protecting my pants that i'm putting on i care more about the the cleanliness of the my
00:43:26.880
underwear and pants than my body itself you took tops legs so if i sit in like piss or sit in like
0.95
00:43:32.800
shit and i don't wipe it off or whatever like that's getting on my underwear afterwards it's not my
0.99
00:43:37.280
shit or my piss if you see anything on it you wipe it off like you grab a little water toilet paper
0.99
00:43:42.320
wipe it off like i mean if there's like shit on it you go no i'm good but i mean there's sometimes
0.99
00:43:47.520
where it's the only one you got and like there's a too much on there to wipe off with like what you
0.98
00:43:53.120
have you just got on shitty toilet seats dude yeah dude i would dude i've done it multiple times
0.86
00:43:58.640
actually i think it was coming back from top i do it at home every day i think it was what you guys don't
0.99
00:44:04.640
no no but i was like i got into this uh i had to like one of clint shits where you're sweating
0.96
00:44:09.680
it's literally feel like your insides are going to destroy yourself and you you go in there it's a
1.00
00:44:14.160
one it's a one stall your bare ass no no no no no this one uh there was actually no toilet paper
0.99
00:44:19.680
either i actually did the squat over uh and had to just like let it rip which is probably why there's
0.99
00:44:25.280
shit all over anyway and just let it rip without with like a you know nice gap but most of the time
0.67
00:44:30.720
if i see that i'm putting down a layer of nice toilet paper and just sitting on that if i see yeah i
0.94
00:44:36.720
usually i am not using that toilet it's just not happening yeah like you'll be like okay i'd rather
0.95
00:44:41.440
shit myself i mean guess if it's a shit or not then i'll adapt i'll hover or something but like
0.97
00:44:47.600
hover survive adapt overcome this is like emergency i'm not gonna be like oh let me set up a nice little
0.99
00:44:52.960
crow's nest of toilet paper like that i'm out there's shit on this toilet seat like dodge duck dive and dodge
0.99
00:45:00.080
yeah i uh i i the by far the my least favorite thing of shitting in public is because they have
0.98
00:45:06.480
those sensors so when i when i stand up because i don't know i guess when you're sitting there it
0.98
00:45:12.480
triggers it and i have no ass and there's a problem or something but as soon as i stand up and i pull
0.99
00:45:16.400
up my pants if the motherfucker flushes and then it just blasts the water into my yeah i hate oh bro
0.99
00:45:22.400
bro it's like a bidet but you didn't ask for it yeah yeah it's like it's like a bidet but with
1.00
00:45:26.560
shit water it's it's it's it's it's an unsolicited bidet by the way uh ribble bibble is currently
0.88
00:45:32.080
commenting still on our episode four and i wanted to bring it up because i already did i did i i
00:45:39.520
commented back to him actually i'll share my screen because start living in 2023 ribble bibble this is
00:45:44.720
actually really funny to me yo he's watching episode four right yes he's watching episode four uh
00:45:49.440
so i thought this was really funny because he already had this one down here which i read in
00:45:57.520
our like in our pre-show i was talking about it but he's just i mean he's just live comedy i'm guessing
0.96
00:46:02.960
but he he says why do you losers say autistic like it's cool it's fucking retarded these are usually
0.99
00:46:08.720
damaged people from getting shot up with shit when they were infants causing brain swelling which made
1.00
00:46:13.360
them autistic in many cases you realize how many viruses are on a monkey kidney cells which are used in
0.99
00:46:18.720
all vaccines where do you think aids and hpv came from retards usually imagine when he catches up to
0.91
00:46:24.640
this and he's like whoa in like three years he's like watching all the content he's like oh my god
00:46:38.480
so my mom actually like got me like basically the fewest amount of vaccines possible to like
00:46:44.000
help to actually get into public school no but then what what did happen was when i was uh when i was
00:46:49.440
like seven or eight years old they were worried they were worried that i was too small because i'm
00:46:53.760
really short and i really didn't weigh much at all i was really thin like i'm waiting to me you're
00:46:59.280
making me want to vaccinate my kids 30 pounds in eighth grade so what they did is they they start they
00:47:06.320
put me on hgh injections when i wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait you wait 30 pounds in eighth
00:47:12.640
grade no no when i was seven or eight years old oh i don't believe that you wait 30 pounds at seven
00:47:20.320
or eight i have children i know you're lying yeah you're old is 30 pounds no i'm not i'm not joking yes you
0.95
00:47:27.360
fucking are there's no way you weigh 30 pounds eight years old well that's that's why they were
0.98
00:47:32.320
so concerned they like paraded around his services i want i want pictures right now you pull up
1.00
00:47:38.960
pictures right now of the smallest retarded baby in the world
0.99
00:47:45.760
come on come on witness toad the freakiest of freaks
00:47:51.520
you guys are thinking that he's emaciated but he's probably just real short and shaped exactly
00:48:02.400
how he is now he's like just like a lumpy kid look at this lumpy it looks like a basketball no
00:48:09.440
no i wasn't lumpy i was i was really thin and weak and just tell the type of nigga to be seven
1.00
00:48:14.560
years old and weigh 30 pounds just an awful person get the out of here honestly i kind of want to
00:48:19.440
believe him i kind of want to believe him because i feel like even at like eight years
00:48:22.240
old he was super autistic and he would weigh himself every day and like write it like log
0.72
00:48:26.480
it down you know doctors they have like the chart you see where you are on the curve i'm like come
00:48:32.640
on just let me get on were you three feet tall how tall were you bro not tall at all very short but
00:48:39.440
i mean you'd have to be microscopic yeah uh jose
00:48:47.920
i think so too oh my god you go you go to like your appointments for your kid and they're always
00:48:53.520
like okay yeah he's in like the 50 percentile 70 percentile uh and toad goes that i just feel like
00:49:00.480
his his mom every time i'm just like yeah he's in the one percentile of everything like this kid
0.97
00:49:04.560
it's like it's like he has in the one percentile of a pussy dude i was in the three but we knew
0.98
00:49:11.120
i was in like the 99th percentile like academically basically and i was in the one person the first
0.96
00:49:16.480
percentile like everything else like everything this is why i don't believe you when you talk about
0.99
00:49:20.640
your sports things that you did i just i absolutely do hold on i don't believe none of you motherfuckers
0.99
00:49:25.600
but i played basketball in college and i played baseball when i was shut up shut up toad the other day
0.98
00:49:30.640
in the group chat i don't know if you guys caught this if you were sleeping but cole and toad were
00:49:36.000
talking on some like computer yeah and they were like gigabytes and hertz and they were they were
00:49:40.080
making up name i swear to god they were making up names did you read this clint yeah i did
00:49:44.960
i think i think that it was like it was like chat gpt just they're both just like toads doing
0.93
00:49:51.200
pathological lying but cole's more just like oh i don't want to look retarded
0.92
00:49:54.640
so yeah but since but since toad's lying he doesn't know that cole's also lying so it's just a
00:49:59.920
lie off i'm just like pulling my hair out because i'm like what the is going on these guys aren't
00:50:04.640
smarter than me there's no way i was i tone was going way over my head as well i would that's why
00:50:10.080
the only thing i was talking about was like i want to m.2 drive i have an ssd and hgd that's all i said
00:50:16.080
toad's like i have the firebird server connected yeah oh yeah i was talking about my nas i have an ubuntu
00:50:23.040
virtual machine on it that's running up this isn't anything this is literally drying up all
00:50:27.200
the ribble dibble i'm running i'm running like it's actually really good operating so sonar and
00:50:31.600
radar to automatically torrent like all the media that i'm not pirating at all and yeah
00:50:39.600
i was talking about how i have like you know raid uh array on there type of negative pirate mad movies
00:50:44.640
and then never watch them yeah i just want to say he also pirates movies and he makes enough
00:50:50.160
money to actually like just subscribe to netflix like and i actually do i am i am subscribed to
00:50:56.000
netflix he's like i'm just gonna he's like i just really want the new season of uh like um it's always
00:51:01.680
sunny he's like dude it's on hulu like real real talk i have breaking the law real talk i have
00:51:07.040
memberships to almost every streaming service and it's all logins from my ex-girlfriends it's
00:51:11.120
brilliant yeah i'm the problem i'm the other side i i have all the logins i i am the one providing
00:51:16.640
all and like everybody else is taking off of me yeah that's not good you're one of my ex-girlfriends
00:51:21.120
i get it hey toad uh we're not gonna move on past your bold-faced lie 30 pound seven eight-year-old
00:51:28.560
why i was a very very tiny child toad show me a photo or you're off the show although i think a
00:51:36.240
78 year old at like 30 pounds i bet he was pretty cute back then because he still had like those like
00:51:40.720
i mean no beard probably disturbingly emaciated or he just looked or he just like was like that
00:51:46.960
he looks like a holocaust survivor yeah or he's just like super tiny maybe he wasn't macy maybe
00:51:51.440
he was just always just like small like a like a little child bro you'd have to be he just didn't
00:51:55.920
grow tall wait back in the holocaust thing those were actually crisis actors from marathons they just
00:52:01.440
took your average marathon person you know that's right oh yeah oh and benjamin was last week jose
00:52:06.720
we're moving on dude this guy is still coming i just love the idea that he's gonna like spend
00:52:15.280
years going through the catalog yeah he might watch the owen episodes like oh these guys are cool you
00:52:19.200
know what i want to experience it from the very beginning and like when we were really invested
00:52:22.640
the show three years from now and there's like like that would just break your brain that'd be like
00:52:26.560
mk ultra type shit like am i losing it what is going on here only to find out like three episodes
0.97
00:52:31.920
later all of us die but they had a good run though i love i love evil devil he's a homie
1.00
00:52:39.360
uh told you didn't weigh 30 pounds at seven years old you're a liar uh we can move on was there any
0.95
00:52:43.120
other questions did you say 38 did you say 38 pounds yeah yeah in the 30s the 38 makes it more
0.95
00:52:49.920
believable but still a pathological lie yeah this is well it's because i'm so autistic i had it right
0.99
00:52:55.200
down to the individual pound this is like when people like try to go with a half mile figure for how far
00:53:00.080
terence yiki walked after really fucking himself up and then killed himself as opposed to the mile
0.90
00:53:04.400
and a half it's like well they're both very unbelievable but i don't know i'll give you a
0.64
00:53:08.080
little more of the 38. so like we'll say that like two there were two assailants that beat him up but
00:53:12.560
everybody knows that it's like three dude dude i i was so small that a kid that was in my class like
00:53:18.800
picked me up and carried me around at recess and he dropped me and i completely snapped my radius and
00:53:24.240
play the music play the music i actually i uh i told jose this and like somebody i was like um
00:53:30.960
i was at like a thing with my dad it was his church or whatever and uh okc came up and i was like trying
00:53:37.680
to give them the information try to red pill these guys on terence yoki and uh
00:53:45.600
it's like a delicious pasta or whatever the are you trying to trigger jose
0.87
00:53:48.960
what's his name what's his name though yiki oh terence yiki yeah oh god damn it but and i was
0.88
00:53:57.440
like trying i was like yeah he was shot in the back of the head twice and he was uh like wrong i was
0.93
00:54:04.160
like and his his uh wrists were slit no he crawled he got dragged like half a mile and they were like
00:54:09.920
oh that's terrible and i was like i'm pretty sure he was shot twice because i i'm not sure i'm gonna
0.89
00:54:16.000
fuck it up next time i just feel like and they're like shit it was but it's so funny because i was
0.92
00:54:21.840
just trying to give like the cliff notes but i myself never watched jose's thing on it so i was
0.99
00:54:26.400
just like i was like yeah john doe number three and they were like what and i was like yeah number
00:54:31.120
three man everyone focuses on two but really it's three you gotta watch yeah wait wait till you hear
00:54:37.840
about john doe four hey is there another another question for us diggy yeah blow your mind has anyone
00:54:43.200
seen john wick four is that good conspiracy extremists s between barack and michelle who's
00:54:48.320
got the bigger piece and why does clint think trans women are women if we're going based off of
0.58
00:54:53.360
totally based off of back width if somehow back width is correlated to penis size michelle wins at
1.00
00:54:58.720
that one michelle's a dude it just has a physiognomy of fucking uh of uh of like
1.00
00:55:06.480
just forget about the big just pretend the g doesn't exist the g is it's supposed to be
0.92
00:55:11.680
pronounced so i don't know i think this is this is like the question from a few weeks ago where we
0.99
00:55:17.280
were talking about if michael malice has a bigger dick than blair white and it could be either way
0.98
00:55:21.680
but you said so blair white could have a bigger dick than malice but it would be just flappy so i
1.00
00:55:26.240
think like obama has such low testosterone that he probably has like a real long flappy dick but big
1.00
00:55:32.000
mike gets it talking about michelle and her dick tiny balls if any of us were in a dress and did
1.00
00:55:38.000
that dance she did do you think you could see our penis flap and uh yeah yeah because i don't think
1.00
00:55:43.200
mine would i don't think soft if i'm doing that dance i think it depends on the material the dress
1.00
00:55:50.000
but like the same one she's wearing the same one like you're in that dress right now and you're doing
0.99
00:55:54.480
that thing she was doing where she was like hip thrust in or what dancing on ellen show is your dick
1.00
00:55:59.280
imprint coming through yeah yeah yeah dude mine would fly up i mean it depends like if i got like
0.96
00:56:04.160
a like if i even got anything like like between like a logical if it's between like a five percent
00:56:10.000
and a twenty percent chub obviously anything more than that as well it'll show but like yeah i guess
0.98
00:56:14.000
if i'm like insanely flaccid and have my dick positioned just right probably get away with it
0.99
00:56:18.400
but if i have even a little bit of blood flowing there you're seeing that shit and i don't it's not
0.99
00:56:21.600
even like i'm a big dick it's just like dude i think i don't think but i just i'm just it's so funny
0.99
00:56:26.240
to me that this person has like michelle has said so many times where her dick has shown like it's
1.00
00:56:32.240
like more than i've ever had my dick shown and i'm dressing like a man like where i like in anything
0.99
00:56:38.240
and my dick's not showing that much put on a sundress we'd like to see your dick imprint
0.99
00:56:41.920
if michelle you know what i'll do that i'm gonna go after this show probably tomorrow i'll put on one
1.00
00:56:46.800
of the sundresses oh yeah you guys are the same size you think uh she's actually losing weight
0.88
00:56:55.760
she actually uh so she's like 20 pounds heavier now you're both getting a smaller you're a smaller
0.98
00:57:01.440
size than than elizabeth no no no no i know i'm way bigger than elizabeth okay because if you guys
00:57:06.320
are both wearing like medium shirts and you just like this was no i didn't go down to small shirts
00:57:10.320
i finally i i've uh no i've lost enough it was mostly just in my belly every time every time he
00:57:16.320
goes down a shirt size really comedy goes down i'm gonna be i'm gonna be in toad's uh third grade
00:57:21.840
size pretty soon just yeah yeah small shirts now the youth small some small shirts but i would just
00:57:28.720
go ahead and advise you stick with medium i feel like you're in that that roided out dude mode where
00:57:33.600
you're like oh yeah i look great in this small it depends on where the shirt's from but i'll tell you
00:57:38.960
that uh shorts definitely have to go to small now i had to like actually hey any any parents
00:57:44.640
in the chat i want you guys to to respond if any of your kids uh weighed 38 pounds in second grade
00:57:50.560
dude cole's cole's cole's muscles would like burst through a small shirt like i don't even get it
0.99
00:57:56.400
there's no way that dude i'd like i'd like to see you wear one so my dick and burst through my pants
0.99
00:58:00.960
let's i think i have i think i have a couple right now i can probably all right hey go put it on right
1.00
00:58:05.200
now i'm literally i have cutoffs that would be it's like yes all right is there any other questions
00:58:15.760
now my kindergartner's 45 pounds one year old one more one more
00:58:21.600
and for the record i don't know if michelle is a man or a woman i don't know but i don't know i don't
00:58:25.920
know either but if she's oh were you weren't you didn't you tweet that out yesterday yeah he
00:58:29.840
tweeted that he he took his bold stance he's like i actually think she's a girl like yeah no
0.71
00:58:34.640
to the fucking libs yeah yeah that's that's he's trying to get that daily wire money this
1.00
00:58:40.800
motherfucker dude that that's what the question is right find one find one picture of her pregnant
1.00
00:58:46.000
one dude i've seen pictures of her pregnant but i don't know you have it no you have not yes i
1.00
00:58:51.360
have you ever pregnant i'll show you three with her penis clearly this is what i'm saying i don't
1.00
00:58:57.360
know what the fuck's real there's too much deep fake shit now yeah you can you can't what are you
1.00
00:59:03.360
mama pregnancy oh no this is a whole nother yeah conspiracy theory right like oh where where'd
1.00
00:59:11.120
you see you're pregnant oh yeah that's not her that's not her there but this is the type of
1.00
00:59:15.840
shit i'm saying i see i see you fucking her pregnant i don't know if it's real or not no no
1.00
00:59:19.920
what are you saying i'm saying it's not there there is go look there's one that was a different
1.00
00:59:24.640
woman that was not her you got that tim cast job another jew money's coming what is going on
1.00
00:59:29.600
yeah that's not her yeah making up oh my god that's our pregnant
1.00
00:59:36.000
that's her pregnant right there that's a nice baby oh it's not showing through i'm telling you right
0.97
00:59:43.520
now i i do not have it's like you can see where he's trying to tuck it but it's so big that he
0.98
00:59:49.280
couldn't even get the whole thing those might be balls really meaty clit i'm not even sure that's
1.00
00:59:55.200
a picture of michelle on the right like is it i don't even know i believe it's oprah yeah yeah for
0.79
00:59:59.520
sure clint is so is so in denial about this he's just like i don't even know that could be
0.99
01:00:05.360
the levels of conspiracy required to put a lady dude dude she's a woman she just has a massive clit
1.00
01:00:12.960
if i mean if she's a hideous woman but i think she's a woman if michelle obama came up to you
1.00
01:00:18.000
clinton said i can n esg tomorrow but you got to suck my dick would you do it
1.00
01:00:25.920
for the sake of our for the sake of our children yeah i mean so far as troons go that's not doing
1.00
01:00:31.600
so bad i mean don't get me wrong i do think that america got psyoped when they tried to act like
01:00:36.000
michelle obama's like with the most beautiful like first lady or whatever i don't know maybe that's what
01:00:40.240
no no no but that's what they will do if they know she's a man they're going to be like no we
0.99
01:00:44.480
have to get make everybody think she's i mean definitely not beautiful but i'm not sure she's
01:00:50.160
a she or e i don't know so far as like trannies go on the upper end let's be real what no way
1.00
01:00:56.160
if that was a tranny like so far yeah what kind of trannies are you regularly seeing like it's
1.00
01:01:01.920
the blair white's upper end okay are you just like are you just like are you talking about like tranny
1.00
01:01:06.720
porn is that what you've been looking at seeing all the cute trannies i don't know any i don't
1.00
01:01:11.520
know have you not seen the hideous troons blair white i would be up her end as a tranny
1.00
01:01:26.960
stupid i was gonna say as a tranny she's in this like golden zone where she's not
1.00
01:01:32.720
like she's not expected to be pretty and she's kind of ugly so it's like like like you know like
1.00
01:01:37.360
an ugly woman she looks like right but then she started showing dick everywhere and people got
1.00
01:01:41.120
suspicious dude y'all for real believe it's a dude huh she just looks like a dude no what i'm not
0.99
01:01:45.840
this is unironically i believe she's a dude yeah i agree she's a dude it's weird that you guys keep
01:01:50.000
saying she who paid you off huh hey i might hate trannies but i'm not transphobic all right
0.99
01:02:02.160
yeah that's right i'm not scared of them i just hate them
0.53
01:02:06.880
i can't believe this many people are watching this i'm sorry guys we're up to 83. anytime i actually do
01:02:12.880
like a back day workout i picture uh michelle obama and i'm like this is what i'm working towards
01:02:18.560
like yeah honestly honestly like mike be like you fucking wait wait speaking of that do we have
0.98
01:02:25.360
the tweet uh to award faggot of the week before we forget whatever you want to be like mike wait
0.99
01:02:33.040
if i had a dream board you know how like uh tony robbins talks about a dream board i would
0.99
01:02:36.400
definitely have michelle obama's back up there do we have another question kill her back yeah
1.00
01:02:42.160
yeah i think we have we'll do one more yeah people pay what's the coolest thing that's a terrible
01:02:46.960
question i mean they're good for booty calls uh you know you keep a good one around it's good to
01:02:53.280
keep local in that sense but if you're if you got like a main squeeze it's not good because that's
01:02:58.160
way too easy to mix shit up get in trouble you know stuff like that yeah you want to do locals as
01:03:03.360
in yeah it isn't other like like what clint has he's frozen right now so he can't defend this anytime
0.97
01:03:08.560
he goes to other fucking uh cities he's got his locals there yeah oh you're talking about like
0.89
01:03:13.840
locals i'm thinking local like near you yeah like the locals yeah yeah hot locals in your area yeah
0.96
01:03:22.000
yeah yeah i mean if you're like an on the road you know kind of guy like trends etc like him yeah i
01:03:26.480
mean once he's got a girlfriend like you know i think i think they're talking about our locals at
01:03:31.040
towergang.locals.com yeah and i will say about mail mike mail mike the best thing about our locals is
01:03:36.800
all of our supporters except you well okay you get it i'll i'll i'll be honest with you guys because
01:03:43.280
he asked this question i don't know what locals even really is like i other garbage
01:03:51.840
what liz cut clint's power yeah where the where the where did clint go that's so funny he's dead
01:03:59.760
probably oh my gosh i actually came back and threw him off the uh the tower like we know what instagram is
01:04:05.360
right instagram is pictures and twitter's words and facebook is old people but locals i don't know
01:04:09.440
what exactly it does i mean for us all it functions as is a spot to get mailbag questions from
01:04:16.000
it's just a place to put money and money we gotta get money so we can buy the um the the shirts that
01:04:22.000
we want to get the i mean yeah oh actually that's a good segue so guys we actually uh we have some new
01:04:29.280
merch out and it's influenced by a lot of the things that we said on here so one of the designs
01:04:34.400
we got the mythical you can buy that at toplops.com it's on a t-shirt another design is that one
0.99
01:04:39.360
supposed to be kind of more penis like or was that it's a penis it's a little oh it is a little dildo
0.99
01:04:44.000
should have gave more a little bit more of a mushroom head make it but i guess i'd be like
0.99
01:04:46.960
maybe a little tip on it maybe a little like maybe a tiny little crease a little also like line to
0.92
01:04:52.320
indicate like a kind of can we not be fucking jewish like controlled here and get that as an
1.00
01:04:57.680
uncircumcised penis as well that is true i'm sorry i'll be better next time what the
1.00
01:05:02.080
fuck that's and then we got our our dingers which which what cole's talking about so you can pick
1.00
01:05:06.880
that up at toplops.com yeah the ding we want to take we want to make that one into a baseball
0.99
01:05:12.000
jerseys kind of thing and have dingers across and then our our names on the back and some
01:05:17.200
our favorite numbers yeah so why don't you guys why don't you guys give us money so that we can get
01:05:21.920
that because we're gonna get i want like the nice jerseys too like the ones that use the mlb because
01:05:26.560
like it's this next level like it's the like the nice button-ups with the like like i think um
01:05:34.160
clint said this the tight sleeves on there too not the baggy like 90s sleeves like the nice tight
01:05:39.920
sleeves sorry guys that was my totally real wife right right oh sure i'm sure it was all right uh
0.83
01:05:47.920
what else what else was giving me shit she was like guys just wear baseball jerseys and i was like
1.00
01:05:52.400
hell yeah guys were basically she was like girls wear baseball jerseys and i was dude i think it'd
0.96
01:05:56.800
be dope like especially get individualized by name it's like that whenever we have our first live
01:06:00.800
event maybe at a at a like maybe a certain like skank fest or something like that uh you know what
01:06:06.080
i'm saying uh that'd be i just still i just want to get it just so we can play softball and actually
01:06:10.800
i think it'd be dope like first live event we have those and then like if you're at some event
01:06:15.280
especially if it's some big event like that and they see you around it's like makes you easy to
01:06:18.720
identify yeah kind of like branding on the go listen i have to wear a baseball jersey when i
01:06:24.000
go out and hit dingers yeah okay yeah what's up paul yeah paul is always uh always on end time
01:06:34.880
um little dicky do we have any videos that we can pull up here because i know we had a lot of it
01:06:39.120
was busy in the chat this week so just go ahead and show us something it's always busy in the chat
01:06:44.720
i don't understand it was that a reference that always sunny yes all right very nice
01:06:54.400
let's see oh i didn't see this oh no i do know that there was that video that clint sent in
01:07:00.400
that told us not to watch it to watch it on the show but i guess since he's not here we probably
01:07:04.560
should wait for him but that is one that yeah he said uh his he explicitly said do not watch this until
01:07:10.720
the show so that's true okay uh go ahead someone read so i watched it no i didn't i ran out of
01:07:16.640
fabuloso so i boiled some bleach tell me why i passed the out because they're putting they put
01:07:22.480
fabuloso in their air fresheners right and then they jesus christ right so for audio only this is a black
01:07:30.400
person if you could not figure that out if you couldn't tell we've been talking about apparently
01:07:36.640
some black people boil fabuloso to use as an air freshener fabuloso is a surface cleaner and
0.90
01:07:42.320
disinfectant correct and then it's telling people that boiling it on your stove is hazardous to your
0.85
01:07:47.680
health and they wouldn't be able to they wouldn't even be able to tell if it's burning because
0.79
01:07:51.360
they're they're smoking black people are ending up with gulf war syndrome
0.97
01:08:00.720
imagine imagine if uh like joe biden's son actually just died from his uh black uh like roommates at
0.96
01:08:06.240
the in uh the war like actually just boiled fabuloso and that's how he died instead of
01:08:10.080
one of those burn pits yeah no yeah all around yeah just like other stuff he just has like just a whole
01:08:16.880
bunch of black guys that he's like uh roomed up with in the military and they just keep feeding
1.00
01:08:20.960
them like uh uh bleached chicken and uh putting bleach in air fresheners it was it was actually
01:08:27.040
because uh biden was hanging out with corn pop yeah that's all right all right what video this is
01:08:34.320
like uh i did see something about how i think it was uh like the aboriginals um they had to put out
1.00
01:08:42.560
like in australia they had to put out a press like a music video to tell the aboriginals not to uh drink
01:08:50.640
uh gasoline i think it was drink gasoline or like uh yeah yeah if you i think you can you can
01:08:55.760
probably look it up they made a whole music video half gasoline maybe no no i think it was
01:08:59.680
gasoline gasoline gasoline that's insane dude i i don't believe you you're dicky you can look it up
0.84
01:09:05.200
and find it but i did watch the the music video and it's at least your line comes from like a more
0.84
01:09:09.040
adorable retarded place it was it was something to do with and i want to say it was uh there's something
0.84
01:09:14.960
with gasoline why a music video though because that's it was have you ever seen aboriginal
0.96
01:09:21.520
uh the people like the black people yes yeah yeah so yeah they they respond well like all like
01:09:26.640
people to to rap music that's all that's the only way they can get information it's like the jamaican
01:09:31.600
thing i told you guys in jamaica like on on the ride on the on the roads it would be like you know
0.93
01:09:36.480
buckle up or you'll get fucked yeah it was for huffing okay you're right it was for huffing okay i thought
0.98
01:09:41.600
for some reason i'm thinking of that other video also of that old like black guy where he has like
1.00
01:09:45.920
a little plastic cup and the guy he goes up to a dude uh at a gas pump and he's like can you give
01:09:51.120
me some dude just like okay he fills it up and he just goes and just slurps down it wasn't just because
01:09:57.840
like they were siphoning gas and like accidentally drank some of it but no if uh if you can find um
01:10:05.360
that video of the uh the music video of the aboriginals it they did it was the australian
01:10:09.840
government was like hey stop huffing gas wait did you did you guys watch out though no we didn't
01:10:16.960
watch it yet not yet no no that's that i told i said that we were gonna wait on that till you got
0.99
01:10:20.960
back oh thank you we were we were talking about the black people uh sniffing fabulous they're boiling
1.00
01:10:25.760
fabuloso as an air freshen oh dude yo what's up with black people man what's the deal with black people
1.00
01:10:33.680
what the fuck are they doing what why is it always cleaning goods that they're like
1.00
01:10:38.800
misappropriating oh grilling their cookies oh yeah yeah they're good that's good though grilling a
0.99
01:10:44.080
cookie it probably is good like yeah you get that like hot cookie and then you can throw some ice
01:10:48.480
cream on it i feel like you make it really soft and this is the least concerning thing that black
1.00
01:10:52.880
you know what i like you know what i like with my cookies i like the taste of lighter fluid when i eat my
01:10:57.760
cookies yeah oh yeah charcoal that's yeah yeah yeah this is a charcoal grill right here yeah so yeah
01:11:04.080
yeah i mean yeah but you know they'd like they probably don't flavor to it oh that actually sounds
01:11:08.560
good i i didn't eat it i don't know if i want smoky with my cookies though i don't know i don't know i
01:11:17.760
do you think they washed their cookies as well they're just like i gotta get this
01:11:27.440
yeah oh yeah for sure all right play the play the aboriginal video please oh so okay is that what it
01:11:33.840
was is that what you sent clint yeah dude all right i i don't know what this is i sent it i sent it like
01:11:40.400
almost a week ago is this it or is this a different one i don't think this is the one i was talking about
01:11:46.080
this is some other one oh no this is it this is it okay yeah this is so wild bro who is this uh
01:11:57.840
singer is this ai no if it were they'd start eating each other at the end they start to hold their hands
01:12:06.240
no it's a trans dude in uh australia singing about his sister and and like you're watching this and
01:12:17.200
you're like this isn't that funny clint get ready wait wait this guy woman this guy's trans i just
0.85
01:12:22.400
thought he was an ugly dude with long hair no it's a chance whatever yeah what the whoa whoa whoa is that
0.98
01:12:33.200
is that is that i thought it was a dildo he was holding dude dude i thought i thought that was a gorilla
0.99
01:12:58.560
these aboriginals are trying to get that spirit out of the pianist i swear to god
1.00
01:13:07.280
hey this is just next level ebonics man that's all this is this is like some voodoo
0.99
01:13:17.200
fucking exorcism dude they always say black people have rhythm this is the worst like
0.99
01:13:22.800
fucking beat i've ever heard dude dude these these people these people look like dude these people look
1.00
01:13:30.240
like neanderthals they look like they're living in like look at look at look at she's trying to like
1.00
01:13:35.680
honor them whenever it goes back to a wide shot look how long the arms of the left guy are
01:13:42.160
dude these people look like they were transported here from 2000 bc those are swinging from vine arms
01:13:47.680
right right there dude look at why does he have like like yellow hair they're so long are they not
01:13:55.600
yo this is the first time that a white musician outdid a black one oh my god dude this is this is not
01:14:01.440
what i expected at all what i expected was that like the australian government was coming in and like
01:14:06.080
playing like uh like hip-hop music and stuff in the end that all the aboriginals would be like twerking
1.00
01:14:11.280
to it and stuff like like in jamaica this is not what i thought it would be at all this is like
0.55
01:14:16.240
play it again from the fucking oh my god he starts with the those uh loaves of bread or whatever
0.95
01:14:21.680
this is this is seriously so i love this this is seriously so much like me and my wife me and my
0.99
01:14:29.840
wife have been like since we're getting older we're trying to do stuff that like makes us uncomfortable
1.00
01:14:35.040
and like weird like go to jamaica i wish i was in this audience
0.96
01:14:38.960
this is the kind of shit baseline it's not so bad yo yo if we get if we get rich and famous off
0.99
01:14:46.800
this shit top me and you are traveling the world just going to see shit like this please
1.00
01:14:53.520
dude how is how is this show advertised trans musician controls aboriginal people with music like what
1.00
01:15:01.680
i do have the um dude this is like uh american idol but crossed with survivor yo no this is like
01:15:31.520
my so i used to play guitar with my 98 98 year old grandma and she only spoke spanish and she would
01:15:37.520
sing old spanish hymns over whatever i was playing just like this it wouldn't even be like wouldn't
01:15:42.400
be in tune wouldn't be to rhythm just old like yo tengo en mi alma tengo en mi alma dude this is and i'm
01:15:50.000
just playing like that was still too rhythmic also aren't those spanish songs like extremely sexual
01:15:55.120
usually it's like they like just just because you don't understand it or maybe maybe i'm just
01:15:59.280
thinking bad baby or is it or bad bunny i think it's bad bunnies things like all this it's like
01:16:04.560
crazy sexual they are like one of the old school songs like when i was a kid uh it's called the
01:16:09.440
suelto el pelo by this guy yandel and he said the suelto el pelo quita la camisa tu pantalon
0.79
01:16:16.080
y después te como completa so he said i'm gonna rub your hair uh i'm gonna take your pants off take your
1.00
01:16:22.240
pants off i got that i'm gonna eat you i'm gonna eat you out and like i'm like your grandma's like
1.00
01:16:28.960
wait that's what that was oh my god dude that's you slapped me uh hey i have the i have a ham i have
0.94
01:16:34.960
the gasoline sniffing video so this was made for like it was like an informational like music video
01:16:41.600
made to stop i don't know how you could compete with that yeah give me give me 10 seconds to explain
01:16:47.520
the way our production works for this show just for the audience's sake every
01:16:52.000
every day i see anything that i find funny i just drop it into the tower gang chat that's what i do
01:16:56.560
so for that particular video though i said nobody watched this we're playing it on wednesday just
01:17:02.240
trust me i wanted their original i want their like their first glance of that to be with you guys
01:17:07.120
so dude yeah thank you clint dude the the aboriginal people it's like they they have a
01:17:12.400
different understanding of what music is for they're like oh i hear these sounds this means
01:17:16.480
we're doing a rain dance now we're controlling the weather so so they're really like the jews
1.00
01:17:22.000
of the real times aboriginals are like native americans but they didn't get casinos it's like a
0.87
01:17:26.480
total bummer they're also joe brown points another thing there is also a don't sleep in the roads one
01:17:30.880
too like they had a big problem of like aboriginals just sleeping in the roads and so they were just like
1.00
01:17:36.160
uh they're like they had to make another music video i'll be like hey don't sleep in the roads either
01:17:42.240
don't help we'll play that after this go ahead and run it it's so funny
01:17:59.440
dude that was um the gods must be crazy i think right
01:18:02.480
this is our new plug music 100% of the demographic that sniffs gasoline
01:18:41.840
this is amazing i know i love it so much i'm gonna i'm gonna cover it on ukulele
01:19:02.240
you really don't want to sniff gasoline we're gonna get a copyright strike for it
01:19:06.320
you know how bad you have to be sniffing like how bad it has to be just across the country to be
0.93
01:19:10.800
like we gotta make some music video and it has to be a fucking bang imagine you're like i'm sorry
0.98
01:19:14.640
your foot of the beat in your car and you're like you know what i do you know what i'm never gonna
0.96
01:19:19.040
stick very very important right now i've never been more serious in my life um i just got news
01:19:25.840
of something that i pulled off i didn't think that i'd be able to pull it off today and i did it today
01:19:30.400
so please little dicky go to the the chat the tower gang chat that you're in and play that video
01:19:35.600
i haven't seen it i haven't seen it so we need to we're gonna watch it here all of us together okay
01:19:41.920
we have we've got fans we've got fans now legit fans dude this this song is uh stuck in my head by
01:19:47.920
the way he don't be rama rama rama must be another uh snake slur that we can use yeah i think it's
0.87
01:19:57.120
stupid in aboriginal dude we're so that so that was also aboriginal people yeah bro what the
0.98
01:20:02.800
is this dude this is a um william hung right it's william hung yeah yes dude this guy is hung baby
1.00
01:20:12.720
you have to say the end word why is it not please it's it's it's it's little dicky's terrible
0.99
01:20:17.040
internet that he hi this is william hung from american idol it's tower gang wednesday motherfuckers
0.91
01:20:25.120
yeah life is so weird i feel like i'm hallucinating i never i don't even know who that is uh is he
0.77
01:20:39.040
was he good on he would know he was known for being the worst singer ever on on yeah yeah on
01:20:43.840
american yeah run run william hung on american idol when you get a chance to because this
01:20:48.080
they're like my life doesn't feel at all real is this real life oh my god that is your new tweet
01:20:55.760
on wednesday you just dropped that oh yeah every every wednesday just read that
01:21:03.360
i think i'm gonna have to redo the intro this is crazy that is a while dude dude i oh god
01:21:10.000
i love rama rama when we do the second show for gas digital like then whoa whoa whoa whoa
01:21:16.080
what nothing everybody we've been on gas digital since january
01:21:22.160
are we gonna have two separate intros because now i got to put this in he's saying now it's it's
01:21:25.600
tower gang wednesday mother yeah no the best the best part about lying about being on gas is that
01:21:30.640
when we're on it no one will believe us no one believe us i can't wait
01:21:35.200
actually on it yo you know who was on gas those aboriginals
1.00
01:21:38.560
who's on gas both aboriginals and tower gang i honestly i want to finish that music video because
01:21:49.760
it actually is that good it's i really in my head i'm imagining that weird noise he makes
01:21:55.520
and then you just that dry and then add in like a dope bass line and then that transitions well to
01:22:01.200
randoms and then drop that we can we can make a dope song out of that for real yo cole if you were let's
0.79
01:22:05.920
say let's say you were having sex with your wife and another woman in a hotel room and there was a
0.99
01:22:09.280
guy sitting on the bed but he wasn't jerking off and he was sitting there with two loaves of bread
0.99
01:22:14.960
would you be able to continue to perform oh god i mean can i eat the bread that he's using
01:22:24.960
hey hey run this i want i want them to know who william hung is because this is oh yeah it's so
01:22:28.880
strange you gotta fast forward in los angeles california um i originally born from hong kong
01:22:34.560
so i've been here in the united states for ten years and um i i currently studying at uc berkeley
01:22:40.160
right now fast forward to him it's kind of odd like why i told all this
01:22:43.840
bullshit yeah you know i'm missing school for two days in a row so they wouldn't like it if you got
0.88
01:22:51.920
through huh they wouldn't be happy if you got through no they wouldn't be happy if i go through okay
0.98
01:22:56.560
they wouldn't be happy if i don't go through two days of school it's dope because like we always
01:23:02.080
wonder if there's any autists that are chinese like we found them i love singing i prefer thinking
1.00
01:23:06.240
a lot how big do you think his dick is all right what are you gonna say i would like to sing ricky
0.99
01:23:10.720
martin right size i think you've got a big dick okay oh my god look at simon kell not not around to me
1.00
01:23:16.960
tell me tell me your name you blow me off like it's all the same you little fears and i'm taking
1.00
01:23:24.400
away like a bomb yeah baby talk to me tell me your sign you're switching sides like a gemini
01:23:34.880
you're playing games and now you're hitting my heart like a drum yeah baby well if lady light gets on my
01:23:43.600
side we're gonna wrap this town alive i'll let her wrap me up till she knocks me out he's actually
01:23:51.600
the best uh asian singer of all time she bangs she bangs oh baby when she moves she moves i go crazy
0.97
01:24:01.200
because she looks like it flies but she stays like a bee like every girl in history she bangs
1.00
01:24:09.200
she bangs thank you thank you william you did put everything into that if you would have told me i
01:24:19.200
love that if you told me this morning that we would be watching william hung perform she bangs on tower
01:24:26.080
gang i would have said probably not dude we never know what is going to happen going into an episode
0.99
01:24:34.720
we have no idea william hung fucking fucks with tower gang i love this shit all right guys you guys we
0.99
01:24:39.440
got what fag of the week left and uh oh yeah oh no no no we got sounds like turn that down turn that
0.99
01:24:45.120
out no that's not plug no no no no no no we got we got we got more to do but we're going to do plugs
0.57
01:24:52.960
real quick this is clint russell host of liberty lockdown host of tower gang subscribe to both uh
0.98
01:24:57.840
you know pimp my shit i uh yeah put the fucking bells on you hoes and uh i had a great sit down
1.00
01:25:04.960
with the gop chair for colorado who there has been this big arrangement between lp colorado and
1.00
01:25:12.240
the gop of colorado check it out and uh tomorrow i have a episode with dick russell who's a biographer
01:25:17.200
for rfk junior he answers a lot of questions in depth about who rfk really is i love you guys
0.68
01:25:22.400
we're all doing shows with dicks i love it all right this uh jose galison of the no way jose show
01:25:28.480
uh i'd suggest if you want to see some good content new recent content i just did a uh live stream with
0.98
01:25:34.080
dave smith it was a debate uh about the trans stuff uh dave smith and then uh charles cock it was a
01:25:40.160
uh actually it surprisingly has more number higher numbers in our fucking owen episode so uh definitely
0.62
01:25:45.840
go check both those out though wait what no it doesn't it does look at it right now at least on youtube i
01:25:50.080
don't i don't have a rumble account so that might be skewing it where's it at where's it oh my god
01:25:54.800
yeah 5600 oh yeah combined though combined though owen's got more yeah dude that's just that they did
01:26:00.080
uh did some numbers they fucking riffed on it on uh los but it already done most of his numbers at
0.92
01:26:04.080
that point but anyways i just had uh the q anon shaman i guess he likes to be called american shaman
0.51
01:26:08.800
i recorded with him last night actually brought jason rink on as a last minute addition because it just
01:26:12.960
kind of i felt like that made sense dude was fucking dope it's only on patreon right now so if you
0.93
01:26:17.600
don't want to support me financially patreon.com snowy jose 2020 it'll be up in about a week if
0.96
01:26:21.680
you're a poor uh but yeah definitely go check that shit out at targeting jose on twitter yeah uh top
0.88
01:26:27.120
lobster.com top lobster at top lobster everywhere uh merch engine check that out on friday our new our
0.99
01:26:36.400
new shit is going to be sick yeah these are this is my new merch on top lops i haven't done any new
0.96
01:26:41.040
merch so yeah we talked about it clint when you're gone we got reading is gay we got cia ontology we got the
0.99
01:26:47.040
january sixers the philadelphia shirt go pick up some terence terence terence yoki shirt go pick that
01:26:52.560
up thank you that's right cool uh fat comic dave on twitter and that's about it i'm not gonna
01:27:01.840
tower gang toad on twitter follow tower game pod everywhere we're on youtube rumble uh odyssey
01:27:07.360
towergang.locals.com throw us some support and you get to be a part of the mailbag hey for real if
01:27:13.600
you'll bash your questions if you love this show it's important you go to towergang.locals.com
01:27:18.160
because this show is absolutely banned everywhere it's just a matter of time support us while you
01:27:26.160
can so you can still find us when we disappear and i will i will i will be at pork fest this upcoming
1.00
01:27:31.120
week by the way so someone fuck him and someone fuck him uh either either fuck me or murder me either
1.00
01:27:38.160
ways i think monster ray is going to be there so maybe you'll find some luck i'll head to the drag
1.00
01:27:44.560
queen tent and uh i'll uh take up arms with maj it's it's weird how how this show hasn't been banned
01:27:50.640
but i i think like because i was just like three times on dick i was on dick masterson show and i was
0.90
01:27:57.600
like we are so much funnier than dick masterson it's like it's only a matter of time but didn't
01:28:03.040
didn't you say he was like early 2000 shock jock kind of thing it was it was weird it was a weird
01:28:07.840
vibe i i don't even care i'll say it yeah i got like early 2000 shock check i'm surprised they didn't
01:28:12.480
have a soundboard they like i was telling jokes and they were like unsure i told the six million
01:28:16.880
joke they got uncomfortable i was like whatever take your shoes off this is gonna be a long interview
0.65
01:28:21.040
buddy i enjoyed it i thought i thought you did great on there and uh yeah he's boring and lame
01:28:27.040
so i'm gonna because he was he's hating on uh eric july and i don't have any uh affluence toward
01:28:32.960
black people i mean eric july but it's just like affluence yeah i don't have any dude i have a lot
01:28:39.440
of i have a lot of affluence towards black people i have no idea what that would be i flash uh all of
01:28:45.760
my wealth at them it sounded like it sounded like it belonged there though right if i would have just
01:28:50.560
kept on going it sounded fine to me continue yeah that was it i said it confidently rebel bibble's still
01:28:55.760
going man now he's talking about biden shout out to ribble bibble
01:29:00.240
ribble bibble's killing it man i responded to him he he hasn't acknowledged the tower gang account
01:29:07.760
like commenting to him he just because he's he's just locked in bro we're begging you please come
01:29:15.440
over to reality here talk with us i'm telling you his brain's gonna break when he gets to episode
01:29:19.920
126 or whatever the yeah he could have been in the chat we would have been like talking to him
01:29:24.000
the entire time but no if anybody knows ribble bibble reach out and tell him no one knows
01:29:29.040
ribble bibble remember at the beginning of the show we thought his name was bipper dipper
01:29:33.840
sorry yeah it's oh wow so different for real guys go support the show we do have big things coming
01:29:41.120
uh and i mean uh the show i think is uh i don't know i really think yeah i mean we are on gas digital
01:29:47.360
so but uh for real big shit all right all right talk of the week and i gotta get the
0.84
01:29:53.120
out of here guys i thought this was uh all right jose just bounce you don't have to worry about it we
0.83
01:29:57.040
got a couple of videos i thought i did plugs go ahead it'll be like it'll be like oh and benjamin
01:30:01.360
it'll be fine see you later all right oh jose's bouncing in and out let him go it's okay
01:30:10.720
we still have one more video to watch i think we have one more video we had uh we have that
0.93
01:30:15.920
and yeah and we have faggot of the week to award yeah to do you want to do faggot of the week i
0.98
01:30:20.720
know you uh all right so this is this is you know how oh i forgot about this what's it called when
0.99
01:30:26.240
when uh bollywood you know how they like remake our movies and shit well this is a remake of michael
0.76
01:30:30.320
jackson's they did not remake triple r is not a remake of anything it is that you're right completely
01:30:35.040
original and completely amazing wait i apologize cole you're right wait they remade uh finding
01:30:41.600
neverland is that the name of it no no no no they remade um what's the what's the michael jackson one
01:30:46.880
where the gangs fight oh beat it yeah they remade i guess is it beat it or thriller i forget no beat
01:30:52.960
it this is beat yeah it is beat it yeah all right check it out check it out they remade beat it
01:30:56.320
oh my favorite part about this is that they're in uniform they're it's the grays against the blues i
0.90
01:31:04.720
didn't yeah dude yeah they're in the one red we got a dude they got the one blood grays against the
01:31:10.320
blues they're they're reenacting the u.s civil war do you think that they agreed to only slap
0.85
01:31:15.360
that's what the quick and kick slaps and kicks yeah like no one no one closes a fist that was a good
01:31:20.960
kick actually i'm not gonna lie it would be fun to have a slap battle with the homies well
1.00
01:31:26.080
you can really fuck people up with a palm strike i mean you can like i mean i still i'd still knock
0.98
01:31:30.960
all these dudes out with a point they're fighting in the dish that they in yeah that's what i was
0.96
01:31:35.520
solid i was like yeah well here's the thing though if you as an american were to try to join this fight
01:31:42.320
you would immediately be knocked out by the smell of it but they're all but they're all used to it
01:31:47.520
you know it smells crazy over there you know it smells crazy yeah they're all it's just so crazy like
01:31:52.560
again like they just were like okay we're only slap fighting guys okay and all right and then they
0.82
01:31:57.040
just fucking walk up on each other and it's like all right we wear blue today y'all wear gray so we
0.89
01:32:01.840
know so because we all i can look the same like my favorite though my favorite though is the lead
0.99
01:32:06.480
dude he's like the one indian that's six feet tall and he's in the front and he takes that first
1.00
01:32:11.440
first jump kick missus dude dope it's the it department for scat the bomb it's the no one says
01:32:24.720
oh my god god damn it why are why is our audience funnier than us it pisses me off oh my god that's
0.97
01:32:33.520
what makes the show great right there yeah show bobs baby hey for real though we couldn't do this show
0.99
01:32:38.320
without you guys you for real like some of our best moments are us dying from the chat the
01:32:43.120
the bubbles ribble bibble made it to episode five so he's he's still on it right now he it's the drew
01:32:52.720
hancock what he says drew hancock looks like a psycho he's going one by one through these in order
01:33:00.880
like could like consecutively right now fucking ribble bill he's gonna freak out there dude that's the
0.98
01:33:07.360
episode where i talked about being insanely high and being swarmed by pugs in my mind and then
0.98
01:33:12.000
skull fucking them think about think about the go watch that go go watch that episode the highs
0.97
01:33:16.480
he's gonna feel he's like wow they made it on tim cast oh he gets to see holy they're on gas
0.99
01:33:23.440
episode he gets the first dave smith yeah that's pretty dope i wish i could relive that
01:33:27.760
don't you wish you could re-listen cole yeah to that i mean i don't know if i can man
01:33:32.240
i lived it brother i don't need to go back dude he's he's four episodes away from robbie the fire
0.97
01:33:38.320
measuring his ass i just i keep it in my mind's eye top that's totally what i meant to say yo dicky
0.90
01:33:44.160
says we got two more videos plus fact of the week i i just wanted to say real animus about the shoe on
0.98
01:33:48.640
head episode i'll never re-watch it because i'm so upset we blew that like we did you know you know
01:33:54.160
how beautiful what we did with owen was now completely 180 degrees that's what we did with shoe on it
01:34:00.240
we didn't we didn't know what we were doing man i still blame jose i think i'll tell i'll tell the
01:34:05.520
audience what happened so i wasn't even really on the show at the time i drew shoe on head got her
01:34:12.880
on the show watch these niggas blow it and then i said give me a microphone i do want to say this
1.00
01:34:19.280
exactly how it happened that was probably past the mic top that was probably your worst art drawing too
0.79
01:34:24.640
it was it was it was shitty it was funny though it was funny though oh it was funny but it looks
01:34:29.920
i mean compared to what you do now like that it was like i mean like dude it was less uh gang
0.55
01:34:35.280
banging shoe on a couch no but but it was like a third graders drawing i look rough
01:34:44.880
it's okay it's okay i'm used to having screenshots of me that make me look totally retarded that's right
0.79
01:34:49.440
nick ashley's dad uh came on to say uh white women must be stopped i believe yeah that was like the
1.00
01:34:54.560
one silver lining thank god was that why nick wasn't on the episode that you guys were like we're gonna
01:34:58.960
we're just gonna quiz her on politics and nick was like no this is gay i'm out no no he he wasn't home
0.62
01:35:04.640
or something but he but he came in just to have his dad deliver that line josh smith with his
0.96
01:35:08.720
fucking levels turned up to 25. yeah that's all right go ahead and run the video when you get a
0.98
01:35:18.160
brutal grift uh oh yeah this is a good one yeah it's all right saying the n-word without saying
0.99
01:35:25.600
the n-word without saying the n-word if you use any of these terms or phrases in reference to black
0.98
01:35:30.960
people you are just as racist as the person that actually uses the n-word here are the words chicken
0.99
01:35:36.880
washer ghetto welfare queen lazy race baiter race grifter threatening angry dangerous or you say
0.99
01:35:45.040
that we're playing the victim or we are a diversity hire what you actually mean to say is the n-word
0.99
01:35:51.520
just stop it if you say these words or phrases you are calling us the n-word if you say these
0.93
01:35:56.640
ignorant racist terms or phrases around your children you're also teaching your children
0.96
01:36:00.800
to be the funniest part about this all it does is just makes me racist like it just like you're not
0.98
01:36:06.640
you're not non-racist as you thought you were and you certainly i'm not trying to be non-racist
01:36:10.880
no you gotta you gotta be actively anti-racist dude is this joe jargon here's the problem here's the
01:36:15.920
problem though is she's not she's not upping these words to the n-word she's just taking the n-word
01:36:21.920
down to this level it's not so she's just being like she's just devaluing how racist
01:36:27.760
no exactly exactly so so when i'm gonna use the word dangerous from now on i can just say
01:36:34.080
pull up my tweet i sent in the chat because you're right cole they're not they're not like
1.00
01:36:38.160
like like really glorifying the n-word and really bringing it up to what it has been and what it
01:36:43.200
should be it's glory i did i did that so please pull up pull up my tweet i sent it in the chat little
01:36:49.120
dicky it's i just want to say real quick too that like there has been no movement in my lifetime
0.99
01:36:54.480
that has made me more racist than this shit this anti-racist shit wait it makes me want to be
1.00
01:37:00.400
racist because you're so condescending when you talk to me dude when i see somebody with a lazy
1.00
01:37:06.400
eye from now on i'm just going to call them a nigger eye jesus christ future president of the united
1.00
01:37:13.840
says the libertarian party movement will get so much more urban americans on board if there weren't
0.94
01:37:19.520
so many aspiring comedians doing racial jokes they find funny they look like they speak for a lot of
0.97
01:37:26.880
libertarians but they just have more free time to tweet goofy shit so what i got a lot of time
0.96
01:37:33.280
we're moving culture baby you can't you can't stop this train i'm gonna i'm gonna like you want
0.99
01:37:37.920
to talk about racial slurs we got chicken washers we got neckers is what is what i should have said
0.99
01:37:42.560
smoke detector americans movie talkers booth sitters clown shit connoisseurs powder eaters scholars and now
0.98
01:37:48.160
urban americans thank you for the contribution maj to ray maybe he'll come back on the show someday
0.98
01:37:55.840
no definitely not dude uh amazingly uh bipper dipper yeah he did he even commented on the show
01:38:04.400
he went right through that yeah he skipped right past the maj one if he had seen it he probably would
01:38:09.200
have stopped watching us oh racist awesome i uh i'm disappointed in imaj man i don't know why he
0.65
01:38:15.120
would like who who else could he be taking the shot at with that it's got to be us yeah there's
0.99
01:38:20.560
no other comedy show in our even though dave does the same shit we're the shit talking about me right
0.99
01:38:27.120
like whenever yeah oh it's definitely used to shit top yeah that's probably me
0.99
01:38:31.200
it's definitely like you're not you're not white so you can't be racist you don't have power plus
0.98
01:38:35.440
privilege no yeah it's it's definitely top because this is on the heels of the uh the anti-semitic
01:38:40.480
tweet that elon responded to and he never responds to any of mine i'm being as anti-semitic as possible
01:38:46.400
and elon won't reply to me i don't know what's up come on elon you already you already wrapped this
01:38:51.600
up no we got one more yeah one more oh one more okay one more i'm figuring it out i think it's i think
01:38:58.400
i know which one this is oh no oh god you're gonna trigger me before we leave huh so this is
0.97
01:39:05.440
this is an ai advertiser no we didn't say that faggot of the week yo we will in a second but we
0.99
01:39:11.920
will we will in a second but yo go full screen on that because that's that's toad in second grade in
1.00
01:39:16.480
the middle i mean that's that's that's that's that's a girl that's a goddamn nightmare is what
0.99
01:39:22.960
this is oh my god it starts off pretty okay except for these fucking obviously the hands oh my god
0.99
01:39:34.400
you got the bleachers we got them from spring till fall baseball is horrifying dude
01:39:49.600
it's the gatorade like instead of gatorade it's ketchup
01:39:57.680
the fans are becoming hot dogs man listen to the music it gets like yeah it gets like demonic
01:40:07.440
dude why what and the blue jays logo is that's not what is that dude why why in every one of these ai
01:40:15.120
commercials does it end in fire like they start they start burning the place in every one of these
01:40:21.920
and the music you can tell that the music was based off of uh we're talking baseball you know
01:40:28.320
i don't know why why were they eating like like what's like spleens it looked like they were
01:40:32.160
eating organs i think it was supposed to be hot dogs i think it's supposed to be ketchup and mustard
01:40:35.760
but it just becomes blood and guts it's just it's ketchup and mustard yeah and it winds up on everyone
0.58
01:40:41.360
and they started getting ebola their faces just falling apart this is crazy kids drinking beer
1.00
01:40:48.400
that's the best part of this fucking thing the kids are sucking beer like a dick and you guys you guys
1.00
01:40:52.640
wanted to you guys wanted to dip out before we saw that you're out of your fucking mind
1.00
01:40:56.080
you know uh anything else i got a faggot of the week if you want i don't know if that's anything
1.00
01:40:59.840
else we we got we got to award it man it's pride month we have a faggot of the week every week okay
1.00
01:41:05.200
so i already know it so the faggot of the week is toad
0.99
01:41:08.720
toad it's the tower power hour slut no way jose liberty lockdown
1.00
01:41:25.360
tower gang tower gang tower gang tower gang tower gang tower gang tower gang
01:41:29.360
gang tower gang tower gang tower gang tower gang tower gang tower gang tower gang tower gang
01:41:45.440
they speak courage you spend more than rogan you fed you fed truth bombs weather tim cast hotel
01:42:08.040
Fuck every podcast, that won't stoop to me.
1.00
01:42:10.260
Libertarian won't be the same day revolution-y.
01:42:18.020
Comedy philosophy, markrandom.com, user free.
0.99
01:42:28.740
Tower Gang, Tower Gang, Tower Gang, Tower Gang.
01:42:45.000
Tower Gang, Tower Gang, Tower Gang, Tower Gang.
01:42:49.800
Tower Gang, Tower Gang, Tower Gang, Tower Gang.
01:42:57.580
It's so fucking hard to line up the syllables, you know.
0.96
01:43:01.000
Tower Gang, Tower Gang, Tower Gang, Tower Gang.
0.97
01:43:09.860
It's so fucking hard to line up the syllables.
0.98