Ep 136 - To Catch a Crackwhore w⧸ Andy Malafarina
Episode Stats
Length
1 hour and 47 minutes
Words per Minute
204.35855
Hate Speech Sentences
189
Summary
Toad, Clint, and Jose are joined by Carrot top, an elevated version of Carrot Top, to discuss a variety of topics, including: 1. What the fuck is a banana? 2. Why is it a bad idea to have a threesome with your friends? 3. Why do you like bananas? 4. What's the worst thing someone has ever said to you? 5. What is the most offensive thing you've ever done to someone else?
Transcript
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Any of you guys ever had the mythical where they put the whole thing in and then do that shit where they're like...
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She was a 10 in real life. She's like a dead 8.
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It's not what this show is about. This shit is retarded.
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Ladies and gentlemen, it's 9-11 Eastern on a Wednesday evening and you know what the fuck time it is, bitch.
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As always, we are joined by Toad, Clint Russell, Jose Gallison and Top Lobster.
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And today, a very special guest, an elevated BMI version of Carrot Top.
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I've been trying to make my way into autistic libertarian canon and I'm breaking through.
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You're one of us now, brother. You're one of us. Welcome.
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You're down on the record books with greats like Maj Touré.
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Man, you guys all saw that one guy on one of our threads today that was going on about how we weren't identifying the problem of the illegitimacy of government.
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And like in my head, I was like, dog, what fucking show are you watching?
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I'm at the point now where somebody asked me some libertarian shit. I'm like, why are you asking me for?
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Check this out. Check this out. It started five days ago and it was on a thread where someone tagged myself, Josie and Dave Smith.
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And the homeboy responds, replies to it and goes, none of these people acknowledge the illegitimacy of the state.
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And I was like, I was like me and Dave Smith, like Josie. Okay. She's a minarchist. I'll give you that one.
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But me and Dave really. And then after I block him, he follows us over to some other thread and starts dragging all of tower gang into it.
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I was like, guys, just block. Trust me. This dude's mentally.
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It's like, dude, we're literally all self-professed anarchists except for top, I guess. So no, I am, I am, but I'm okay, man.
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I'm such an anarchist that at this point, I'm willing to support the state just to spite these people.
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Makes sense to me. Well, uh, Andy, tell, tell our audience about you. Who the fuck is you?
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And he was like, he gave me some roundabout answer. I was like, but who are you? Tell me.
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Well, his name is Malvarina. So it's like, he must be from a line of horrible bakers or something.
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It's a very fun name to say. I'll give you that. Yeah. Yeah. No, you fucking, that's my, that's my opening joke in standup comedy.
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Is it? Yeah. I explain why my name's fucking dumb as shit. It's Italian and it means bad wheat. It's a bad last name.
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Shitty pasta, literally. What was your family, Andy? What do you think they were doing? They're just making bad pasta?
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I gotta answer this without just doing the bit. I just realized the first words on tower gang was me doing a fucking joke.
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Dude. Uh, but yeah, no, I mean, I don't know. I don't know. I think they were just the fucking dickheads of the village.
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And they were like, dude, your crops suck ass. And then like everyone just like made fun of them the whole time.
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Yo, uh, at some point, so you got to pull up the screenshot of the thumbnail for, uh, Reed over on IRL.
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He looks like, I mean, Reed is like, I can't explain how underthused somebody has to be to have that kind of face.
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And it's like, bro. Yeah. Like you get invited on a show that there's 500,000.
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And he tells us like, I don't really care. I hate this shit.
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And then he goes on there was like, yo, this nigga means it.
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He's dead inside from being there. He'd rather be at work. It's wild.
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Reed Coverdale, the type of nigga to just sit up there with resting bitch face as he talks to a half a million people.
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If we're doing that, I want to, I want to take the opportunity to defend myself.
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And they've got the roast you guys gave me recently.
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You guys are pointing out specific things that I vehemently disagree with.
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I think pop sockets are a great innovation of the market.
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I don't get why anyone would ridicule them whatsoever.
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Can we point out that on that episode, I absolutely nailed it.
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Well, I feel like pop sockets are like the phone version of a Funko pop.
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I mean, if you guys are just minding your own business and you're like, just so you know,
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They always seem to fall off too early and I end up fucking around with them too much.
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I can always apply super glue or something to make it stick again.
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This is why I think Jose is a real ass dude because he doesn't have a sign on his shit.
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It's a worn off kitty with rainbow wings and a unicorn horn that my daughter got.
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Which makes it even more disturbing the usage of it because it's not, it's not for aesthetics.
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Like what you were saying, Andy, this is about functionality.
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And if you take it off, she'll think you don't love her anymore.
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It was almost like some sort of cross between that and almost like a see if dad'll call my bluff.
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Cause she knows I'm going to get my dad some really faggoty shit and I'm going to see if he'll use it.
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But she's like, she knows she's at that age where it's like, I can sort of play this off of this.
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This is, I thought this was cute and you would like it.
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And then she goes to daycare and she's like, yo, my dad's still a pussy.
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Jose, Jose, Jose, the type of nigga to walk through the hood with a fanny pack on and not give a fuck.
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Me holding it with no fucking like this thing is going to pop right out.
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You know, fucking the functionality of having a little tiny knob I can grab onto.
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I think he needs it because it's a tiny knob to grab onto.
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Or if I'm working with tools or if my hands are wet.
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Well, I have short fingers, but they're very, I have very stout hands.
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I've been a manual laborer my whole goddamn life.
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Jose's dick is as big around as it is long based off of his fingers.
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It's like, no, I mean, there's a, yeah, it's like for, for the, the circumference and
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Dude, what if, what if, what if, what if, what if, what if, what if you, what if you
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There's no, nobody, there's no block cock that actually has block cock cause it's always,
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the length always outdoes the circumference and that.
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Did we want to make fun of this reed thumbnail quickly?
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All this was was, was just ripping until you got to it.
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You got to it 30 minutes ago and didn't pull it up.
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Well, we can't, we can't really see the thumbnail like in full screen because he's actually
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Who agrees that he should be behind the scenes producer.
00:09:03.000
Put a lot of effort in his presidential run and it's, it's, it's, it's taken over.
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Well, we were going to pull up the thumbnail of reed cause it's, it's honestly, it's one
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He wants people to think he wants to be like, you know what?
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I hope reed becomes a serial killer now just because I can't wait till they, that will
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That's fucking, you don't even have to touch it up or anything.
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He looks like the third in command to David Koresh, but also like paired with a prisoner
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He, I mean, it's remarkable how like he has aged 20 years in the past six months.
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He was like, he looks like he showed up in his hard hat and Tim had to tell him to take
00:10:36.000
It looks pretty dumb when you wear it on the show, doesn't it?
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And if they ask me to take it off, I'm going to totally fight with Tim and be like,
00:11:03.000
You got, you got opinions on when people wear their hats.
00:11:17.000
God bless Reed Coverdale for just being the fucking realest motherfucker alive.
00:11:22.000
I still think I have a couple hard hats if you need one.
00:11:26.000
But what I'm saying about Reed here is that like he's giving away, like you ever see
00:11:30.000
a good movie or a book that kind of just gives away the plot.
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Like you're in the bin and you're like, I kind of know what's going to happen.
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Reed here is signaling to the feds that he wants to be arrested for all of the hookers
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that he's killed and buried throughout the United States.
00:11:50.000
If LP and H's tweets didn't put him on a watch list, that photo did.
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They're like, they're going to find the bodies now, Reed.
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I think he is so happy in the inside right now.
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He just messaged a group that said, I got my 9-11 stuff in.
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Last time when me and him went before, we literally were sitting there kind of quoting
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our quick little like, you know, factoids about our things in our head.
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So it was like, for him, there was that big Vivek shit that dropped today.
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So I was like, I knew he was going to talk about it.
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So he's going to be, there's going to be some fucking clips there.
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Your last one was very funny where you threw out the dude who you're like, this guy didn't
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And Tim's just, Tim's just like, I don't know anything about that.
00:12:39.000
Dude, I like, at the moment in my head, I like, was like, there was a minor freak out of like,
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I don't know if that was an invitation to expand on this or being a cunt.
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Because in my head, I was like, the fucking look it up or something.
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Like in my head, it's like, if I have to expand on it, I got to do like five minutes.
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But if he was being a cunt and now I'm trying to work through those five minutes, I'm like,
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And then halfway through, get up and leave like Kanye.
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But leave like, just run out the door and slam the door.
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And then take off the hard hat, come back like nothing happened.
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You come back with a new hat and you're like, what the fuck was that guy's problem?
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It's kind of like what that woman on that plane did.
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She tried to get back on the plane after that, apparently.
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He's like, I gotta go see what happened for my boy.
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I'm just saying, listen, we went on, we went on there.
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You go there with an actual plan, fucking hard hat.
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You just fucking go viral and you steal it back from whoever, back from Steven Crowder and
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People clown on Posobiec for wearing sunglasses and doing all that silly shit or, or Alex Stein
00:14:59.000
Did you put out for Tim when he was serenading you on the after show?
00:15:06.000
I wish I could say I sucked his dick, but I didn't.
00:15:12.000
He, uh, in the main show, we were talking about how he was going to make a song called,
00:15:19.000
Like literally he, like while the rest of us were just shooting the shit about random
00:15:23.000
stuff, he was like strumming, kind of like figuring out the beat or what he wanted the
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And then we'd kind of like cut it out and like make lyrics and shit.
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It was, it was good comedic riffing in the after show.
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Do you know how fucking hard it was to clean riff?
00:15:39.000
Cause we talked about Lizzo in the main show and the after show.
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Do you know how fucking hard it was for me to clean riff and make it funny on fucking
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like just the concept itself is like, how do I keep this?
00:15:49.000
You know, PG of fucking a stripper, uh, Lizzo forcing her backup dancers to eat bananas
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This was like an obstacle course for comedians and I'm not even a comedian.
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And while you were biting your tongue, we were going hard in the paint with it.
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It made me actually like, like her for the first time.
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Normally she's like, normally she's like being fat and retarded is okay guys.
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And now she's like shoving fucking bananas and pussies and shit.
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We, one of our things that we say all the time is that we, we call black people dreamers because we don't think that they dream.
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We, we, we, we call them, uh, non dreamers, right?
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Like, like, like I think like, like a certain IQ people stop dreaming or something.
00:17:00.000
It was because they don't, they don't put the battery in their smoke detector.
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The smoke detector goes off, disturbs REM sleep, and they just never get into it.
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Black people never get into REM just because they can't afford double D batteries.
00:17:22.000
This is why they're so violent and why they grab their gun and they cock it every time.
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If I were president, I would fill a helicopter filled with nine volt batteries and drop them
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from the sky in the hood and just let him, let him figure it out.
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But anyway, we were saying, I was saying that like Lizzo looks like she has dreams.
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Cause like to put a banana in someone's pussy, peel it.
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Like it's like a level of creativity that you just wouldn't come up with otherwise.
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Like they wouldn't think outside the box in that manner.
00:18:11.000
Just like start off with bananas in the pussy and then like, then we'll work up to goat
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But you gotta start, you gotta show us, you know how to do the first stage.
00:18:29.000
Andy, do you think if Lizzo, if like, just assuming that you were living out your dream
00:18:38.000
as being one of her backup dancers and she were to say, you have to eat this banana out
00:18:49.000
Like if we're in Amsterdam and then like, they're fucked.
00:18:52.000
Like, yeah, if we're in Amsterdam, I don't want to fuck up the vibe.
00:19:04.000
But at a certain point I'd be like, well, one of us has to do it.
00:19:07.000
Like, you know, you know, you know why you wouldn't go first?
00:19:10.000
Cause I would have deep throw the motherfucker before you even got to answer.
00:19:18.000
I'm the, I'm the new lead backup dancer, bitch.
00:19:26.000
It sounds like you guys were fucked up having like a weird time.
00:19:29.000
It sounds like you guys had a great time that you should keep to yourselves and not
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But yeah, it was the things you remember later in life.
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They just don't want to admit that they did it voluntarily.
00:19:41.000
This is the thing that would change my mind on what Lizzo did.
00:19:44.000
I'd need to see the stripper that they put the banana on.
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Because if she's like disgusting, then I'd be like, man, this bitch is nasty.
00:19:52.000
But if she's like good looking, then everyone agrees, right?
00:19:58.000
All the dancers, all of Lizzo's dancers who were doing the eating were fat bitches.
00:20:02.000
But then the stripper, was it only one stripper?
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Were they all like, did somebody have to go like second after?
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I couldn't care less if we're doing journalistic integrity with Lizzo.
00:20:24.000
Can we be certain, but can we be certain that it was only one stripper says Clint?
00:20:36.000
You're never going to get a Pulitzer reporting like this, Clint.
00:20:41.000
We got so many comments like that actually about the Lizzo thing.
00:20:45.000
Like, oh, you guys clearly didn't do your research.
00:20:52.000
My masculinity episode, I talked about Andrew Tate and I described him as an MMA fighter
00:20:57.000
from England as opposed to a fucking kickboxer from England.
00:21:00.000
And someone responded and goes, good job doing no research whatsoever on Andrew Tate.
00:21:11.000
But it's weird how like you can get a thought because I get thousands of hate comments per
00:21:15.000
day, but you get one that you're just like, it just fucking needles you.
00:21:19.000
You're like, but I did that on purpose, you motherfucker.
00:21:44.000
I wanted to ask you, Andy, do you think we were pontificating on this like the prior
00:21:52.000
Do you peel it all the way and just put it mushy in there?
00:21:54.000
Like that, these are the details that we need to make an accurate judgment.
00:21:58.000
We do have, I feel like you got to peel it to make sure there's not like a mushy part.
00:22:07.000
But if you peel it, then it's more likely it'll break homeboy.
00:22:10.000
But then it's not, you give a little break in it so that way it gets a little give.
00:22:13.000
So it doesn't smush as much, you know, a little bit.
00:22:18.000
I understand that you're releasing the pressure that's already in there.
00:22:24.000
There's so many more variables than I realized.
00:22:26.000
Wait, cause are we trying to get, are we trying to get like.
00:22:29.000
You have to depressurize the banana before you put it in the pussy.
00:22:33.000
It gives you more, like, it gives it more flex as opposed to like just straight the air pressure in there.
00:22:41.000
As opposed to having some give that you, you break the thing a little bit.
00:22:46.000
I think, I think I got, I think maybe I got it.
00:22:50.000
I think, I think maybe I have, maybe I understand.
00:22:53.000
You, you peel the banana and then you freeze the unpeeled banana.
00:23:04.000
The pros is more I say, the more I convince myself I'm right.
00:23:06.000
You still have a handle so it doesn't, cause you're, you're trying to, you're
00:23:08.000
trying to get the pussy juice on the banana, right?
00:23:12.000
That was my point, Andy, is that you have to have a handle to get it out.
00:23:17.000
Cause then it's like, if the pussy, here's the thing.
00:23:19.000
If the pussy juice doesn't get on the, the edible part of the banana,
00:23:22.000
why are we shoving it in a pussy in the first place?
00:23:26.000
It's just, it's just a fun delivery way, you know?
00:23:31.000
If that's the case, the banana has its own condom.
00:23:35.000
Like it might be a little icky to handle the outside, but like,
00:23:44.000
We're not, we're not going to research and figure this out.
00:23:46.000
We are going to hypothesize on this to the end of time.
00:23:51.000
You can, I mean, as long as it's somewhat plausible in the realm of believable comedic effect,
00:23:57.000
I'm going to gain a thousand pounds and practice dancing for like five years.
00:24:01.000
Get hired by Lizzo and then find out and I'll report back.
00:24:09.000
Not, not even because you want to actually eat the bananas out of pussies.
00:24:29.000
Like I've never been around my friends and be like, I'm just going to go ahead and strum
00:24:36.000
It's like a, it was a little off putting until I got the vibe.
00:24:47.000
What is that saying psychologically in the conversation?
00:24:50.000
It's almost like a, what would you call that in the business world?
00:24:58.000
I think he's autistic and he literally is in his head.
00:25:04.000
When I, when I'm, when I'm on IRL and I'm like going on a rant, half of the time, Tim
00:25:10.000
is just like thinking about like elite poker hands that he's played.
00:25:15.000
And then he, and then he'll like, he'll, he'll come back from playing these, like these,
00:25:21.000
And he'll just launch into a rant in response to me.
00:25:28.000
Oh, it's crazy that he was on like the Bernie Sanders camp because somebody with that level
00:25:33.000
of autism should have been libertarian to start.
00:25:41.000
Um, the next question is actually a statement from Phil dog and it's kind of related to
00:25:54.000
Uh, well this, this also feels like an attack on myself and Andy and it is a fat, fat people
00:26:07.000
Um, it's an odd thing to take time out of your day to tell someone.
00:26:12.000
And I would like to, I would like to, I would like to get his handle and send him every weightlifting
00:26:32.000
That's still, still my dick hasn't worked since.
00:26:34.000
It's unbelievable how fucking repulsive that was.
00:26:45.000
That's, that's why I'm making up excuses now to back out of a fight that I've scheduled with
00:26:57.000
Elon's, Elon's upper body is shaped like a Roblox character.
00:27:03.000
You know, it's just like, it's shaped like his fucking, wait, that was your joke?
00:27:13.000
Cause didn't you post like a naked picture like twice where you're like behind anatomy of
00:27:31.000
Elon designed, Elon designed the cyber truck based off of his upper torso.
00:27:39.000
He says it does have like the build of Elon, but then like without the like mildly handsome
00:27:45.000
eccentric looking, you know, billionaire face, you know?
00:27:51.000
I think that Toad has a better upper body than Elon Musk.
00:28:02.000
Now imagine that body full mounted over Zuckerberg, just pounding down.
00:28:15.000
My favorite, my favorite part is the zoom in on his face at the end.
00:28:22.000
Well, I also, I also upped the weight cause I was like, I think I could do it.
00:28:42.000
You could have gotten away with 15s and nobody would have known.
00:28:44.000
It was a 25 and you couldn't even fully extend your arm.
00:28:49.000
We have video evidence that we just watched at your bill.
00:28:59.000
You're not getting as smooth as you got at first.
00:29:38.000
Wait, he's admitting the lie and now you're backing him up.
00:29:43.000
It's believable logistically, but I still think he may be.
00:29:47.000
It might be a 40 because they were big, but he was struggling.
00:29:55.000
But even for someone that's strong, you can do this with a 40.
00:29:59.000
It's this lower extension where the problem comes in and he's not going to be able to
00:30:05.000
You were foolish to even attempt to try to do a full rep to show off to us.
00:30:13.000
I added a new thing in the soundboard and I think it's perfect.
00:30:23.000
I mean, no one's going to really look at the weight to try to evaluate.
00:30:27.000
So just grab one that you can do good reps and you look good for the camera.
00:30:43.000
So you haven't curled a 40 pounder in your life.
00:30:53.000
I don't respect these people enough to tell them the truth.
00:31:00.000
And I don't respect anybody on this panel right now.
00:31:12.000
So we're going to play a nice little game that we haven't played in a long time.
00:31:23.000
So we already did this maybe three weeks ago because I think we were mad at him then.
00:31:46.000
I knew it was going to be weight related because that's the way things are going.
00:31:56.000
Why does everybody always choose something that is going to give me a boner before it kills
00:32:06.000
We're still yet to find something that doesn't give you a boner.
00:32:21.000
I'd bring him to a ranch I have in the middle of nowhere.
00:32:24.000
I'd be very much a bully to him verbally, but like in correcting when he's doing gay
00:32:29.000
And I'd basically force him to do manual labor for a period of time.
00:32:36.000
And then I will, you know, give him the skills to succeed in the real world.
00:32:39.000
And then he will go from there and live his days out creating a family and you know.
00:33:00.000
I sit him like on a hot air balloon 100 yards north of the rocket and I launch it directly
00:33:21.000
There's literally nothing I can do that doesn't give you a boner.
00:33:29.000
I'd invite the entire gang to my house in Florida and I say, come over and stay the
00:33:44.000
We take his body and we put it in the back there.
00:33:53.000
But then you're going to kill the gator and then eat the gator that ate me.
00:34:06.000
Just along the lines of what top said at, at his, at his house party that we're doing
00:34:19.000
We see the 20 women that he's DMing to no avail.
00:34:27.000
And then, and then we don't, we don't ever allow the fact that he's dead to be disclosed.
00:34:33.000
We carry on his entire existence through his Twitter DMs where they just think that this
00:34:38.000
lunatic has sent them a finger or a toe out of like, out of some, out of some absurd obsession.
00:34:44.000
You've just been, you've just been towed, bitch.
00:34:47.000
And then, and then, and then, and then we sent his corpse.
00:34:52.000
We put it out on his Twitter feed and we say, he has been dead for a year and you've been
00:34:57.000
holding onto his digit, you fucking sick bitches.
00:35:01.000
And we wipe out all of Toad's existence, including.
00:35:06.000
Everything is even close to being the legacy of his.
00:35:09.000
If somebody sent you a finger, would you keep it?
00:35:22.000
Only that's why I was going so ballistic, dude.
00:35:34.000
Unfortunately, I saw him in passing real quick, but it's an awkward, it's kind of awkward
00:35:39.000
I wanted to hang out with him more, but I was kind of like already in this like weird social
00:35:43.000
thing where I'm already shooting the shit with these guys.
00:35:49.000
Every time he starts to talk to someone else, Tim just starts playing chords on the guitar.
00:35:56.000
I, I elbow bumped him on the way to take a piss.
00:35:59.000
And, uh, and I was like, Oh, Bert, we follow each other on Twitter.
00:36:05.000
That's, that's a kind of, I don't, I don't really know to be honest, but I think it's
00:36:11.000
You're booking other guests in the middle of the show?
00:36:28.000
Last question was one that we did not get to yesterday from definitely not a grabbler.
00:36:33.000
Um, we know this guy, he's, he's our, uh, friend that has the fucked up face.
00:36:39.000
Oh, uh, this question I didn't think was that good, but now I'm looking at it and actually
00:36:47.000
Who the fuck are you to think to be the, you're the judge of what the fuck are you doing?
00:36:51.000
I am the, I am the, I am the, I am the arbiter of funny.
00:36:56.000
If you had one minute on CNN with Don Lemon, would you call him a nigger or a faggot?
00:37:10.000
And you thought that that wasn't good yesterday?
00:37:15.000
I mean, I, I mean, it's, I guess I kind of want to break the rules, but I don't want
00:37:21.000
I would just go straight nigger faggot, but I have to choose one of the other.
00:37:24.000
Uh, I mean, cause together, like, I don't, I really hate that this is an either or because
00:37:31.000
It hits all the angles, but, um, you gotta choose.
00:37:36.000
I, I really feel like I'd rather target the gays in this moment to make a, such a grand
00:37:42.000
Uh, but specifically faggots cause faggots are different.
00:37:46.000
Although we can make the argument that niggers are different from blacks, but I don't think
00:37:51.000
But I think I can get them on the difference between gays and faggots.
00:37:55.000
And it's the faggots that are problems, not the gays.
00:37:58.000
My favorite thing is when Jose intellectualizes his bigotry.
00:38:04.000
You need to make a pamphlet of all of your like intellectually, intellectual bigotry
00:38:10.000
And in a hundred years, they'd be like, did you know this guy?
00:38:19.000
Um, so which, which one of these would piss them off more?
00:38:35.000
Dude, I'm trying to, I'm trying to get a sheriff position right now and you're fucking it up.
00:38:44.000
I wouldn't force choose neither because those are both hateful words.
00:38:48.000
How, how am I going to be constable after this shit?
00:38:59.000
He was like, how do you guys, you guys have jobs?
00:39:31.000
Yo, and I'm like, he's like, he's like, you know, honestly, since you guys don't live
00:39:35.000
in New York, it probably wouldn't make sense financially for you to come like in under
00:39:39.000
the umbrella of gas and just, just let us, just let us sell ads for you instead.
00:39:46.000
I was like, I was like, we don't want any money.
00:39:51.000
We just need a place where our videos will not be taken down.
00:39:54.000
So you don't understand what we're, our intentions are.
00:39:57.000
You're like, we literally just want your website.
00:40:05.000
Like you can sell ads and keep all of the money.
00:40:12.000
We need to be a huge audience that overlaps with everything that we do.
00:40:19.000
So we can make pure content, pure heart for you guys.
00:40:28.000
So deep now that like you is like, there's no backing off.
00:40:36.000
It is pedal to the metal until I hit the wall, dude.
00:40:55.000
Yo, just like, just like Tupac, but in the exact same spot.
00:41:00.000
Or if you do a tramp stamp and then people wonder, what, what does that mean?
00:41:20.000
Let's go into the backyard and I'll explain it.
00:41:22.000
I really thought cultural sentiment would shift.
00:41:31.000
I'm going to need you to power down your phone before, before I actually explain what
00:41:37.000
I'm on a watch list and yeah, it's not going to happen.
00:41:42.000
Does that mean that a black gay guy just fucked you in the ass?
00:41:47.000
It does sound like a prison tattoo for a bitch.
00:41:57.000
Yo, when you go, when you go five deep on a, on a fucking zoom call or whatever this
00:42:09.000
I've checked out the podcast before and I'm a, I gotta give you guys credit cause
00:42:15.000
Cause I've listened to the podcast before and it was like the first round when you guys
00:42:19.000
were going on Tim cast and then Cole was saying that he might go on Tim cast.
00:42:26.000
I was like, the guy whose avatar is just fat Dave Smith is going to be on Tim cast.
00:42:45.000
Cause I was like, I was like, if the Dave Smith avatar is going to be on Tim pool, what
00:42:52.000
Well, granted they just thought he was Dave Smith.
00:43:02.000
I'd be surprised if he better get on, you know?
00:43:09.000
And, uh, as a, uh, you know, to make sure that I get on Tim cast, I, I have to, uh, discuss
00:43:14.000
the merits of calling Don Lemon a nigger versus calling him a faggot.
00:43:18.000
I don't get why you at all think these two things are tied together.
00:43:23.000
If they ever did invite me back on, I'm going to do exactly what I did to Elijah Schaefer.
00:43:27.000
And I'd be like, I'm only going to go on if another one of my, my gang members can come.
00:43:42.000
Even, even with this needling hypothetical, he is still furious with you.
00:43:52.000
You ever do the hypothetical where people talk about like winning money from the lottery
00:43:56.000
and you don't hypothetically give someone enough money.
00:44:14.000
We're not hypothetically gonna fucking fist fight.
00:44:17.000
This is the honest reflection of what you mean in my life.
00:44:21.000
I'm going with faggot by the way because he is literally a faggot and also a faggot.
00:44:33.000
But I would go nigger because I feel like that would get him to attack me.
00:44:44.000
And like fucking like like that part snapping him.
00:44:47.000
I won't be up with the boys like I used to be if I don't.
00:44:52.000
Dude, with the news that's been breaking about the FBI recently.
00:44:55.000
I think if you said that to Don Lemon, is he even on TV anymore?
00:45:01.000
Like I think you actually go to prison for that at this point in America.
00:45:08.000
It would be like the landmark case that sets the precedent going forward in the future.
00:45:16.000
Josh Smith is going on IRL at the end of this month.
00:45:20.000
And seeing as he's a presidential candidate and Toad's a presidential candidate,
00:45:29.000
Do you know how mad Josh would be if you ruined his appearance with Toad there?
00:45:34.000
It would immediately make his campaign meaningless.
00:45:46.000
It would be interesting because we kind of agree on most things so I don't know where
00:46:01.000
I mean I would mostly argue that Josh should not put his family through a presidential run
00:46:14.000
If you can make this happen, this is the most hilarious troll you can pull on everybody.
00:46:43.000
Yo, that was a joke and no one laughed and now it's just I'm an asshole.
00:46:48.000
No, I didn't laugh because I considered it and I was like, damn.
00:47:01.000
We've got Tower Gang Toad on and he's in the fucking screenshot.
00:47:04.000
Like I didn't think we'd get below a quarter million.
00:47:13.000
They saw the thumbnail and they were like, kept scrolling.
00:47:15.000
Why do I feel like if Toad turns his camera, there's just a huge hole in the wall?
00:47:21.000
Like, it's just him being like, that's a good fucking joke.
00:47:34.000
The children are down in the basement actually.
00:47:36.000
No, what really like spiraled me into like abject hatred was when he started talking about shaving his body parts today.
00:47:45.000
And he's just like, I got 17 different areas that I shaved with 15 different devices.
00:47:49.000
And I'm like, look, I'm gonna rip your soul from your body verbally tonight for this.
00:47:56.000
Because we were talking about maybe getting a new sponsorship.
00:47:58.000
And we were just kind of, you know, shooting the shit about how we could riff on it.
00:48:01.000
And we were like, hey, at least one of us needs to get the product so we can attest to it.
00:48:05.000
But he obviously wants someone you can get some sort of angle for a riff.
00:48:11.000
Well, I had, I'm like, in my head, I'm like, okay, that's good.
00:48:21.000
Now Toad is like, you know everything that I fucking shave?
00:48:27.000
And I'm like, no, I don't think we're going to be going with that angle, Toad.
00:48:30.000
I got a mole on my upper left tricep that grows 14 inch long hairs.
00:48:35.000
And you're just like, oh, bro, I just want to strangle you.
00:48:37.000
I should be the template for the funny for this ad read.
00:48:47.000
He has the, his whole thing is that he's got like single blade razors.
00:48:55.000
Just fucking right down the road, not across the street.
00:49:03.000
I'm bringing this up and I'm like, hey, this guy wants to sponsor us.
00:49:06.000
But, and they're like, yeah, yeah, but we just need some samples.
00:49:14.000
And then they started talking about the shaving habits.
00:49:16.000
Toad goes on this diatribe, which I don't even want to read.
00:49:26.000
I shaved my, I shaved my, my back, my back pimple.
00:49:36.000
And then he fucking doubles down and he says it again in more detail.
00:49:38.000
And I'm just like, like, you want me to kill you, bro?
00:49:45.000
Dude, bring up, bring up at least eight and bring up his body.
00:49:50.000
And he's a compulsive liar hypochondriac that makes up random weird shit.
00:49:56.000
Oh, you made up the 40 pound weight though, didn't you?
00:50:08.000
I shaved my head, face, pits, pubes, asshole, chest, body, thighs, neck mole and shoulder mole.
00:50:15.000
This is what he wrote when I just said, hey, who shaves?
00:50:24.000
He's like, look how many different options of jokes there are to be had.
00:50:28.000
And these are clearly humorous, like components of a joke because this is my butthole.
00:50:37.000
What you're not understanding is tomorrow we're going to wake up in the group chat to a suicide note.
00:50:46.000
Because you know that, like, I can't, I can't not now.
00:50:54.000
Yeah, you're going to send me some single blade razors?
00:51:00.000
Just as Top was saying, like, now I can't help myself.
00:51:14.000
I'm glad you said that because I was like, if Toad feels like there's like this dude,
00:51:18.000
he's cause like you guys have made fun of him so much.
00:51:21.000
And he's done so many of those jokes that he's like, like forcing himself into this guy.
00:51:27.000
And he can't go out of it because acknowledging that would crumble his whole thing.
00:51:35.000
You just discovered the conundrum of every comedian that's like fat or.
00:51:42.000
But see, that's the weird thing is like every time he goes on these tirades,
00:51:46.000
our entire response up until recently when we just said, OK, you just kill yourself.
00:51:50.000
But up until recently, we used to always be like, no, no, no.
00:52:03.000
This is how seriously we're taking the like, like when he tells us this, we just just kill
00:52:06.000
yourself thing is that I actually went out and shopped for razors and to get us free samples.
00:52:11.000
So it's like when he's like, I'm going to kill myself.
00:52:25.000
This is our first ad read for Nadeau and we're using it to talk about how Toad is going
00:52:32.000
What happened was Toad was like, I'm going to kill myself.
00:52:40.000
Hey Nadeau, it's not too late to withdraw your sponsorship offer.
00:52:48.000
I can't let Toad live rent free in my brain like this.
00:52:53.000
Our next sponsor, our next sponsor is bathtubs to use your Nadeau in.
00:53:08.000
Listen, as a man who constantly tries to commit suicide, I've tried many different brands
00:53:15.000
of razors to slash Netflix and none of them get the job done.
00:53:23.000
With Nadeau, however, you will get the job done in no time and you will be no more with Nadeau.
00:53:32.000
Nothing worse than trying to dig deep with a rusty blade.
00:53:43.000
If you're going to try and kill yourself, you don't want to get tetanus.
00:53:54.000
Second thoughts about what you're doing may come in if it takes too long to strike the vein.
00:54:23.000
There's so much material you can do with a straight razor company.
00:54:29.000
I wouldn't blame them at all if they withdraw all of their sponsorship funds, but that was a legendary...
00:54:34.000
Like Tim Dillon is going to hear about this ad read at some point.
00:54:37.000
He's going to be like, I need to step my game up.
00:54:41.000
Nah, advertising straight rager on Tower Gang is smart as hell because you know the neckbeards are in full force in your audience.
00:54:50.000
They're like, hey, why don't you shave a little higher?
00:54:54.000
You want to be difficult and pretentious about what ones you pick instead of just getting the random shit you find at the convenience store?
00:55:09.000
Are you tired of having the most pimples on your neck?
00:55:12.000
You can actually go the other way with this razor is so safe that you won't slash your neck open when you trim your neckbeard.
00:55:34.000
Like we're going and he's just throwing a fucking stick in our spokes and just stopping us and we got to keep going again.
00:55:40.000
keep going again but we've gotten so good at capitalizing off that roller coaster of like oh
00:55:44.660
oh shit now we're pulling back in we're not on that one anymore now let's just make jokes off
00:55:49.320
the derailment all right back into it when you do when you throw uh throw a stick into somebody's
00:55:53.760
spokes you don't think that's fucking funny well the problem is you're putting your own
00:55:58.780
stick into your own spokes that's the issue but imagine if every day you bike the same track and
00:56:03.940
the same kid threw shit in your spokes by like this sixth time you're like mother i would kill
00:56:27.680
listen man i i am i am i am the originator of tower gang i'm the i'm the king of the
00:56:39.020
podcast and when i want a kingly shave i use in a dough wait i gotta how did you guys how did you
00:56:45.240
guys meet up because none of you guys live near each other nope we all kind of do now
00:56:49.940
were you just were you guys just on a we want a twitter thread and someone wrote n and then
00:56:55.180
someone wrote i yes and then when you when you hit when you hit the r do you guys do like do you guys
00:57:01.400
want to do a podcast yeah that is exactly what happened oh my god oh my god what if we said this
00:57:07.920
all the time dude everybody asks us they're like like oh how did tower gang start and we tell them
00:57:14.640
the real way and it's like interesting story but that's what i'm telling everybody from now on it was
00:57:18.900
like i was actually the n and jose was the i and then reed came in with the r later but he fell off
00:57:24.680
so i mean it's not far off hey after now we just drop one g because you get the idea well the crazy
00:57:30.500
thing about it is that the original cast was six members and there's six letters in that word it's
00:57:35.200
just it's just the joke writes itself it's beautiful it's beautiful that's that's our new origin story
00:57:40.020
dude it's funny like i've gone to the point where like i see a nigger tower and i'm like
00:57:43.480
no i'm good i'm above it now like i do that professionally so i don't need to do that anymore
00:57:49.580
oh you do that for free no no no but what what what's funny about that though is that that that
00:57:55.860
origin story is pretty close to reality really yeah it is yeah it is that's what i'm saying you
00:58:01.140
could just tell it and let it sit and then be like that's fucking crazy wait wait wait you don't
00:58:05.700
get you don't get paid to ruin your job chances
00:58:08.980
i'm saying off-ramp for my degeneracy are you yeah dude i'm so committed to it man it's just
00:58:19.560
uh i just want to do it we make hundreds of dollars per month on this podcast are you
00:58:25.300
you do it for free between fucking idiot between six people
00:58:29.960
we could almost buy top ramen with this fucking podcast money you out of your fucking mind
00:58:36.820
i'll be good for two whole weeks if my fucking career goes tits up
00:58:40.620
toad's almost got enough to get a 50 pound weight he can't live
00:58:52.400
i'm just imagining the 40 pound weight on his neck and he could lift it up just halfway
00:58:57.400
dude his little feeder his little feeder like twitching
00:59:01.400
no the best the best part is he actually ordered a 50 pound weight it's still sitting at his front
00:59:06.260
door he can't get it upstairs it's tragic that's actually um the truth is that uh that that mini
00:59:14.560
uh clint he lives he lives in like a hamster cage like everything is like one room he has like 17
00:59:21.360
floors and they roll on top of each other and i just thought thinking about it so funny because
00:59:25.800
like you do sort of look like a hamster now that i think about it like for him to crawl to the next
00:59:29.160
room he's got to go into a tube yeah yo that'd be a cool house actually yeah dude i drink from
00:59:36.920
from like a big metal thing in the wall yeah dude that uh that refrigerator is behind me over there
00:59:42.380
i i uh i brought that up two flights of stairs on my own i feel like that's the way toad's body
00:59:48.020
was made to move too like in that scurry like not a normal upright striding human fashion like in a
00:59:54.520
scurry through tubes you know you can hear you can hear here comes toad
00:59:59.140
well that's why you know that's podcast magic right well partially because i'm short but you know
01:00:09.640
you know how i like uh mummy milkers right i like the ones that they have to sag all the way down to
01:00:15.020
the floor so then it's like a water bottle and a hamster cage i'm just i love that dude i love to
01:00:20.900
get up i love as toad talks dissecting in his head like his thought process creating these jokes
01:00:27.120
because i'm like yeah i mean technically the elements are there uh but like you might be
01:00:32.140
i like the idea of you fucking like getting up on your hind hind quarters on your hind legs and
01:00:38.700
fucking grabbing some saggy titty and putting in your mouth and it's beautiful i like your fantasies
01:00:44.560
that's what i do around here yeah anyways do we have a video or something we have we have a lot
01:00:49.360
of things they're in the private chat here we we have we could we have to say goodbye to andrew but
01:00:54.720
we do have one more clip of him if we want to go to that not andy thank god i love andy don't get
01:00:59.560
rid of him i was gonna say what no no no trust me trust me you're gonna like andrew do you know
01:01:04.260
have you heard about the andrew show i don't think you're not allowed to you're not allowed to tell
01:01:08.960
anybody at skanks if you do all right no i just want him to get cold intro but we're not going
01:01:12.860
to explain we'll explain i'll slit your throat andy well well with the nadu razor if that's right
01:01:18.180
that's right because because only the best when we're killing people well one one problem with
01:01:22.880
this is that i don't know what the contents of this i don't either wolf we're so we're going into
01:01:27.420
no no real quick though andy top top said it kind of jokingly i'm being serious you can't tell
01:01:33.380
the skanks guys about it because this is this is fucking golden all right go ahead and run it all
01:01:39.120
right like we're on the next level shit that people are gonna be going later you know yeah
01:01:43.280
like you'll hear about this on on on your mom's house and skanks in a year and a half promise yeah
01:01:48.560
you guys make culture i know yeah as a matter of fact you're right we make it and then we move it
01:02:03.380
show for white kids of course i'm andrew and this is andrew show now today i'm going to talk
01:02:11.340
about some of my emails i got now this person sent me an email saying i believe this to be you
01:02:17.880
in 20 years and then it shows a white guy kissing a black girl i know that won't be me that's wrong
01:02:25.160
that's the last one that we have yeah wait he said he said that's not that that can't be me
01:02:41.520
that's wrong what did he say that's wrong he said that won't be me that's wong
01:02:47.260
andrew's andrew is like a a member of the kkk but he has a speech it's adorable this is a hundred
01:02:54.980
percent real andy i'm not fucking this feels like wonder chosen do you remember this would be
01:02:59.600
too over the top to be something they commit to as a joke we've looked into the backstory we're
01:03:04.280
probably gonna have to do some more research maybe his father his father was like a fucking
01:03:08.520
grand dragon bro straight up yeah and he has a sister that has like a uh like white power
01:03:15.440
fucking uh soft rock band that actually slaps yeah we're not even kidding it's great it's great
01:03:22.960
music we went down the rabbit hole in this motherfucker i've been working out to their
01:03:26.440
music for fucking two weeks now wait so they got like soft rock but be talking about like the white
01:03:31.800
race no it's here yeah it's like it's like the aryan culture it's like bluegrass banjo shit but like
01:03:37.120
makes your dick hard you know i'm saying yeah yeah do you think they get you can bring it up
01:03:41.160
it'd be good to play do you think they get suspicious of each other though they get
01:03:45.340
suspicious of each other the better they get at their instruments and they're like you know a black
01:03:49.060
guy you definitely are you're playing that bass way too good dude you definitely know black dudes
01:03:59.000
wait that was pretty good what's your problem what's going on
01:04:06.080
race trading are you a race trader unbelievable uh daryl we we were talking you're getting pretty
01:04:12.740
good at your instrument and it concerns us here at the club
01:04:18.300
is this like 2006 youtube this was like this is the way back machine and uh so this was originally
01:04:27.280
on bcat or one of those channels yeah which is essentially like bbs sort of but somebody taped it
01:04:32.620
put it on youtube it was banned from youtube but before they banned it someone saved it on the
01:04:37.020
wayback machine so there's like five episodes or something like that yeah save so you can only go
01:04:42.300
here to watch it yeah and we've watched all of the episodes because we are obsessed all the ones
01:04:47.220
that we can find yeah this one this one is short but this is the i need to find it hope he has
01:04:51.320
coffee once you start talking you got to crank the volume we've watched it that many times
01:04:55.880
hi my name is andrew and this show is for all the white kids out there i love this guy you know the
01:05:03.900
conference conference it was really good we had singing games and we baked cookies we made frosting
01:05:14.600
and my mom taught us about the frosting and when you put different colors in it the white frosting
01:05:25.780
that's what happens when you race mix pretty much
01:05:32.840
it's the show called 16 it has race mixing it has propaganda propaganda and the main characters one of them's black one of them's mexican and some of them are white and pretty much tune in next week
01:05:50.840
he was like he was so bored talking about race mixing like show yeah there some are mexican it's like i don't like it but whatever
01:06:06.620
white people are a minority in the world save the white race
01:06:10.620
incredible that's right this is how a kids show ends
01:06:16.640
it'll never not be fucking remarkable wait where did they show this originally on like essentially pbs no it started out on public access but it's essentially like pbs it's public broadcasting
01:06:30.080
so yeah yeah probably like once a week for probably years
01:06:34.040
and and some people probably only recorded some episodes and just put it up like i'm imagining the psychology of putting this up initially on youtube as like they're probably oh yeah andrew
01:06:44.300
show oh your kid loves that too yeah i actually got this thing called youtube i put it on my channel
01:06:48.260
and i'm not kidding other people for there i'm not i'm not i'm not remotely joking i am putting out a bounty right now
01:06:53.520
if anyone can find the masters to andrew show i'll give you a thousand dollars but i want the fucking master
01:06:59.360
make that tweet make that tweet on your account
01:07:02.160
clip of andrew show anyone who can find me the cash reward a thousand dollars whoever
01:07:07.700
can we imagine a legit journalist with your reach that are like
01:07:11.660
can we get the lost tapes no you guys don't understand i'm trying to profit off this shit
01:07:20.860
because if i can actually own the masters for a thousand bucks dude i think i can fucking mark
01:07:24.920
them up and sell them i can sell them to fucking your mom's house and everything else you know
01:07:28.400
what they did to michael jackson right when he tried to buy his own shit
01:07:32.780
dude dude i can't i want to be there the moment like adult andrew is like i got i got rid of all
01:07:44.120
that and then clint's like give me um he's like what it just starts going it just starts going viral
01:07:50.340
and he's like i'm behind me dude dude imagine imagine if we like completely fuck over the kid's
01:07:55.940
life he passes back to haunt me he's like he's like a he's a high school basketball coach in the
01:08:01.540
inner city now i'm so sorry god it's an awesome job i'm sorry i said all that they were paying me so
01:08:09.480
much money i was just i was just doing it for the chick my dad used to beat the shit out of me
01:08:13.680
i was eight years old are you gonna really hold it responsible it is very possible that andrew is
01:08:19.280
doing something and we could by like exposing him make headlines because he would get fired it
01:08:24.480
would be one of those like canceled like someone just got canceled from big big brother right for
01:08:28.860
saying nigger or some shit like that i don't know dude i don't want to do that to him but if we
01:08:33.720
do we can get him on the show this just didn't apologize how young is too young to ruin a man's
01:08:39.680
life for saying nigger dude do you think do you think he still has the lisp now in his 20s does he
01:08:47.080
still have it i just want to know if he's if he's still this opposed to waste mixing oh dude yeah he
01:08:54.180
watches the videos and he's like man i really had something i wish we could have brought it to network
01:08:58.460
like they sold it to abc or they tried to sell it to abc and they're like no what
01:09:04.980
we all thought after the waco phenomenon this is the next new thing but you know this just wasn't
01:09:11.760
where the the public was going at that time i feel like i feel like he might have had a meeting with
01:09:17.920
comedy central and even then they called the cops it is very funny that 90s this isn't a parody
01:09:24.220
it could have swung either way right we could have went even further crazy towards like what the
01:09:28.660
90s were or to where we are now and if it would have went further crazy he would have been syndicated
01:09:33.000
on some kind of network deal it would have been like sesame street the andrew show that's what
01:09:37.360
you're watching honest to god like i put it in the same category as the tom green show like it's
01:09:42.260
the same energy i get it's like low quality production it fucking makes me really happy it makes
01:09:46.660
me laugh really hard it's basically the same thing dude i could see like adult swim picking it up
01:09:52.480
and then like three seasons in they have like a meeting they're like wait you weren't kidding
01:09:56.880
and they're like oh fuck oh shit that was real oh dude i'm not kidding it came weird shit they
01:10:06.840
have on there like you could go years without anyone catching on because they just probably
01:10:10.140
relight everything it seemed like that show wonder shows in like i'm not even like it seemed exactly
01:10:15.840
like it i wasn't i didn't think it was real at first what's kind of shows and now i gotta watch this
01:10:21.180
it's a great show yeah i have great news for you andy it's real this kid is actually raised by a
01:10:27.280
grand dragon wonder shows is like a parody kids show that's actually for adults top go or excuse me
01:10:34.120
to go ahead and play the next one real quick can we go out on uh toad this is a big ask for you as a
01:10:38.840
producer to you know actually do producing but could you uh could you find that uh that that video of
01:10:47.100
his sister singing it was beautiful that'd be great outro music i'd appreciate that i love that
01:10:51.120
toad uh quick quick request first off go fuck yourself second um could you please pull this up
01:10:57.200
i can i can find it so so wait are we actually are we going through all of the andrew episodes
01:11:02.400
no no no i like to go out i like to go out on random you want to go out on this bitch
01:11:06.540
yo do you know random you know him in real life mark random dude mark random yeah i've heard i've
01:11:12.100
never met him but i've i've heard the legend he's our homeboy it's our homeboy yeah i just want to
01:11:19.220
know like for someone that's met him in real life is the energy is frantic and crazy you know i've never
01:11:25.500
i've never met the guy i i and i feel better for it he seems like a lot like he seems oh yes he seems
01:11:32.160
like one of those he seems like one of those demons in a horror movie that you try to move houses but
01:11:36.740
you never get rid of them so i don't want to i just want to put good energy mark random you're
01:11:41.780
doing great like as long as you're confident just sometimes ignoring and not making a thing of it
01:11:46.140
he's completely chill because sometimes i'm like see a dm you're like that's crazy i'm not interacting
01:11:51.760
with that andy this is this is a true story he comes on our show and he starts telling the story
01:11:56.460
where he's like he's like guys i've been on fucking rap i've been on legion of skanks he's like
01:12:01.160
i had almost given up on comedy because i figured that there was no one out there that was
01:12:06.720
more offensive than me and then i came on this show and i was like i can still go deeper
01:12:11.360
i can still do better yeah and he was like totally genuine it was the most beautiful thing
01:12:16.660
yeah yeah he played a music video that he made it at auschwitz on our show and he was like this
01:12:20.980
wasn't hard enough at auschwitz yeah dude on the train tracks at auschwitz he sang a song bro
01:12:28.140
what was it was a it was a like a kind of a parody of another song and he's like about
01:12:32.380
it was uh it was us it was staying alive but it was like gas the jews or something
01:12:38.440
he's like he's got like a whole piece of video set up it auschwitz like that like but then he
01:12:42.660
like makes his own lyrics and it's like something it was like uh some weird shit about him being a
01:12:46.920
messiah gas the jews gas the jews that's pretty much it was yeah gas the jews i just looked i looked
01:12:52.140
on google it's like not coming up at all that shit's been removed so yeah he showed us his video
01:12:57.560
right yeah yeah andy what we might have he one of those dudes that like if you just let him go
01:13:03.120
he'll keep talking and when he's about to make a point his brain pivots so he can keep talking longer
01:13:09.160
one of those guys yeah but on this type of show you've noticed how like hectic and crazy it is
01:13:14.560
he will go on something and we'll just like cut him off and then keep and then like like re-guide
01:13:19.340
him into a different direction which i think is helpful for that type of person but he is that type
01:13:23.380
of dude that he'll he'll keep on going to the next he's like the ron paul of serial killers
01:13:27.280
like when when you know when ron when he was in the debates and he would get up to the end and
01:13:31.120
then he would kind of pivot to the next thing and you're like god you were so close but he that's
01:13:34.860
what he does but he also kills people mostly if you consider them people that's a that's i know this
01:13:41.440
is i feel like this show is right in his element for random that is no it's perfect dude it's his
01:13:46.280
energy all right uh to go ahead if you got it uh no maybe you don't uh well what well we have a
01:13:53.520
couple of things that we got how long do we got a vamp here this guy's the worst producer in the
01:13:57.680
world did you see we just gave him five legitimate minutes and he probably didn't even look at what
01:14:02.060
i'm trying to join like i'm trying to stay in the conversation it's better if you didn't
01:14:06.800
no no it's okay it's okay if you do that but like just have something cute it doesn't matter what it
01:14:12.320
this is before you get too upset toad just a peek behind the curtain this is just me putting on an
01:14:17.060
act messing with you because it's a funny thing to do in a comedy show to mess with the producer
01:14:20.820
so i'm breaking the don't let it go to your well i just feel like you're taking this to heart
01:14:25.440
i'm kind of catching that feeling i do i just want to reel you back in before you go that's the
01:14:30.180
hope he doesn't take it to his head i hope he takes it to his throat with no razor i might i very much
01:14:36.720
might i think that counts for multiple ad reads yo if we get paid based off of the the read we're
01:14:42.000
getting fucking buckets today oh yeah dude this is transgender woman demands ex-boyfriend to return
01:14:47.620
her testicles from his fridge well then i've read everything that's a loaded sentence i'm keeping
01:14:52.560
those balls bitch you gave me yeah i mean yeah we could read the article we could watch the video
01:14:57.200
you tell me video i don't care enough to look i'm just done with this whole thing because i can't do
01:15:02.180
her test her testicles i can't do it how come they let you keep your testicles but i couldn't keep
01:15:06.140
my dogs that's like or your foreskin it's tragic well no i still got a mind player well not you
01:15:13.360
you're you're perfect i'm talking about everybody else no clint you're like getting at a good point
01:15:17.500
where it's just like it gets to a point where you're like what are we fucking doing like why is
01:15:21.920
this a headline can we like can like can one well it's the new york post so they're probably like oh
01:15:27.760
this is gonna fucking hit we fucking right yeah yeah it's like it's it's i'm i'm i've hit a line where
01:15:34.960
you say this thing and then it's like but no we have to be like polite you go no that's full-blown
01:15:41.040
retarded like without question the new york post is an interesting legit is like 1984 shit like
01:15:46.880
newspeak like try to make it as confusing as possible but while still sort of being accurate
01:15:51.960
yeah well yeah the actual story here is yeah that this uh transgender woman uh who had their
01:15:58.680
balls removed was storing the balls in a jar in a refrigerator and the ex-boyfriend stole it from
01:16:06.760
them i guess and was and was from ham i suppose i mean this headline was written in a short bus
01:16:12.380
everybody knows it right it is crazy it's a true why would you why would you want to keep them
01:16:17.800
like do you think maybe they'll put them back maybe why do you want to cut them off i mean there's
01:16:22.100
lots of questions here todd there's no answers you're not dealing with mentally healthy people so
01:16:26.840
yeah it's it's crazy to let them keep it like yeah it's yeah it is crazy too to like go through
01:16:33.180
all that and to be like i kind of want to keep them it's like i think you should have to eat them
01:16:38.020
wait a minute like i think if you're if you're committed prove it prove it okay those are faggy
01:16:46.520
mountain oysters i don't know i'm sorry hold on a second pretty fucking good we actually uh there was
01:16:54.140
actually a video on would you make the girls would you make the girls eat their tits after they cut
01:16:59.300
them off how would you fry them like i think toad would eat them raw what do they do with them after
01:17:06.580
i don't know stem cell treatment or some shit i don't fucking know bro what what's happening
01:17:13.020
why is everyone chopping their shit up there's a market probably for like cut off tits like you
01:17:18.140
know this was like it was like obscenely rare when i was growing up actually you're cooking with fire
01:17:23.720
there top there might be a business opportunity there told if you could buy if you could buy cut off
01:17:28.100
tits and then you can go online you could scroll the website double a's no i'm something like
01:17:32.520
around a flashlight no no they would be mounted like they'd be mounted real fleshlights oh yeah
01:17:41.540
taxidermy yeah right dude yeah get a get a fleshlight that's actually made of yeah like a pussy
01:17:47.140
oh well same whatever i mean you can titty fuck some real titties you can fucking
01:17:52.140
no no pussy no flashlight no for me man it's gotta it's gotta be attached to a real living woman
01:17:57.940
that's not true your life hasn't proven that out forget about the sexual aspect just to have
01:18:04.280
it in your house like for as i'm in a man cave if i had like a man cave and i could buy real
01:18:08.900
taxidermy tits and just hang one like you know you point at the wall you point at the wall and you're
01:18:13.900
like yeah that's bob's tits over there oh yeah i enjoy i made some nice tomato soup with my uh skulls
01:18:21.400
my enemy uh maybe maybe maybe it could it could be like a trophy dude maybe it's like a trophy like
01:18:27.900
when you know when you go out hunting animals or whatever and then you like mount them on your wall
01:18:31.240
you can do that i literally just said that i feel like i'm did you god damn it everybody heard me
01:18:35.060
right yeah yeah it's okay you guys ever see the stuff that came from ed gaines uh fucking like all
01:18:40.840
the weird body shit he did he was like one of the original serial killers yeah it did like he's
01:18:45.820
inspiration for a ton of like famous movies and like i'm pretty sure he's very inspirational
01:18:50.500
yeah it's at one point literally it was kind of like a big coat yeah yeah he inspired dope suit
01:18:57.700
yeah he inspired what he was about yo yo you should wear that top when you go on when you go on
01:19:04.000
iRL you gotta wear that a titsuit you know it'd be dope a titsuit would be fine but you're like why
01:19:10.720
are you wearing a helmet though like the helmet still have the hard hat yeah still has the hard
01:19:14.920
hat and the titsuit andy i have an important question for you you feel you you seem to me
01:19:19.780
like a guy who would love b-movies am i am i off base like the jerry seinfeld one no no no b-movies
01:19:26.980
b-movies like like oh jesus christ i got that i liked it i don't know like like you know the
01:19:34.020
we're having fun over here uh no like you know the movies that like eric roberts started in the 90s
01:19:38.740
or like van damme late in his career like the shit movies that like most of them go to vhs straight
01:19:43.620
away oh yeah sure yeah okay okay do you ever see uh well first off do you like those movies
01:19:48.640
because i i used to love them growing up yeah i don't get like i don't get deep into them but i
01:19:52.640
enjoy them you can fucks with them all right all right so there was a movie i think
01:19:56.840
it's one of like the most underrated movies of all time called uh i think it's the most dangerous
01:20:00.840
game where you you get paid like they pay these desperate people to voluntarily enter this
01:20:07.660
competition where wealthy people hunt them like yeah it's it's based off a story from like long
01:20:13.620
ago like a written tale oh okay well regardless i just wanted to know your guys price tags like
01:20:19.860
like you have a chance to survive where do you like but you have to you have to survive the most
01:20:25.260
dangerous game what what do i get that do i get anything to start with uh in the movie i don't
01:20:32.760
believe so and then what is it like a day like are you allowed 24 hours you can't yeah yeah yeah you
01:20:39.020
can kill back you can yeah but you're but they are coming after you with an arsenal and you have
01:20:43.380
nothing right i think you're in the woods i mean it depends i need some known some more of the
01:20:48.860
minutiae of the logistics but generally speaking i think a day in the woods trying to evade someone
01:20:52.920
like if you have big enough woods it's a whole squad bro it's a whole squad oh yeah dude i don't
01:20:59.080
know that that changes things doesn't it yeah i mean you could probably find some dope harding spots
01:21:04.520
but still like that's yeah i have to know what kind of so they remade it if you guys have amazon prime
01:21:10.060
they remade it it's still called the same thing the most dangerous game and they revamped it it's got
01:21:13.820
the dude who goes like you have jews under your floorboard and that uh christoph waltz yeah yeah it's a
01:21:19.840
fucking awesome movie i maybe it's maybe it was him maybe it wasn't i don't know i can't remember
01:21:23.440
it doesn't matter not the point uh the point is the last time you suggested a movie it changed my
01:21:28.140
life i know dude i'm fucking i'm like the movie whisperer triple r is fucking the shit it's so
01:21:34.380
fucking i want i'm gonna re-watch it tonight it's that good all right so watch it so the the
01:21:38.300
remake have you seen this one wait which movie triple r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r r
01:21:44.840
bro it's on netflix it's a bollywood movie and it's the fucking greatest shit you'll ever see in
01:21:49.040
your life all right oh okay so the remake of the most dangerous game instead of just being thrown
01:21:54.560
in the woods and you just got to survive now they give you a cell phone and the motherfucker
01:21:59.060
give gives out uh gps coordinates every hour you have these four like specialized hitmen that have
01:22:04.840
paid an outrageous sum but every hour you survive it increases uh i think it was exponentially so you
01:22:10.980
end up walking away with like fucking 12 million dollars at the end of 24 hours something crazy like
01:22:14.340
that that's it it's all right so you wouldn't do it for 12 million all right i've got the price tag
01:22:19.580
my life is priceless clint well that's remarkable for you to say is it 12 million if you survive
01:22:28.780
you know you gotta survive the 24 hours dude oh i'm just i would need a lot i would need a lot
01:22:34.080
because there's a good chance i'm dying i need show money exactly i need show money they have dogs
01:22:38.880
no no dogs no dad i know i really think i'd be able to create like in a generic kind of
01:22:47.120
wilderness environment like you probably could find a pretty damn dope hiding spot and if they
01:22:51.460
don't have a way to root you out in the remake what i feel like you didn't hear me he has a cell phone
01:22:55.780
on him that goes off with gps once an hour oh i was i kind of zoned you out for a while that's like
01:23:02.280
that's like you're very very high it's okay it's understandable that's like cheating though
01:23:06.020
well it's not cheating it's the rules of the game yeah no no way if you're getting pinged every
01:23:11.260
hour that's yeah yeah you're fucked that you're fucked that's a nightmare yeah i'm not doing it
01:23:15.400
for any price tag but i figured toad with his suicidal tendencies was going to be like
01:23:18.360
a million fuck it you know gpsing absolutely not game changer absolutely toad's like just have coffee
01:23:24.520
when i get there i just want to die that's he's drinking dude yeah i drink so much coffee that's
01:23:32.880
that's probably going to actually be my death now this this is there breakfast i just need
01:23:36.740
breakfast okay this i'll do it for breakfast and a cup of coffee now this i'm gonna share this
01:23:43.600
this tranny that we were just talking about who had their balls in the refrigerator there's a video
01:23:49.060
of them called the unboxing of d's nuts where they're literally unboxing their own testicles
01:23:55.620
um i don't i don't if we play that we will almost i mean we should lose this channel anyways based
01:24:00.880
up of what we've said tonight but like that just not that interested in that video content
01:24:04.320
really yeah i'd rather not see it if i'm being totally honest yeah let's do this content see
01:24:08.500
what this is about okay fast food restaurant sparks outrage with ann frank burger and hitler fries
01:24:15.040
all right hey before we read what it actually is what would you guys call these oh like what what are
01:24:20.800
they even hinting at don't read the rest of that line because it tells you are they german is this a
01:24:25.740
german restaurant like no it's it's in argentina but yeah maybe they are german yeah they're probably
01:24:30.560
nazi descendants oh they're definitely german yeah like i went to this this soup place that it's
01:24:35.020
called super saiyan and the whole thing is like all around dragon bowl z shit is this like a theme
01:24:39.680
restaurant is that what you're asking no no i'm asking you like specifically i think what is an
01:24:44.520
ann frank burger what is a hitler fries what's in it yeah well i'm wondering it has to be a thing
01:24:50.220
well first of all why isn't the ann frank a hot dog the hitler fries they don't fry burger just
01:24:55.900
make a normal burger and be like just kidding nothing really special about this one uh the the
01:25:01.900
the ann frank burger the ann frank burger they cook it and then they go sorry we cooked it too long
01:25:07.820
it's not it's burnt well they are they obviously they obviously uh they obviously they obviously
01:25:14.620
well done burger that's it that's the entire bit sorry we we we killed your burger
01:25:20.460
but we had this cool diary the ann frank burger uh actually diary that the chicken sandwich made up
01:25:30.300
banger oh my god uh yeah the ann frank burger you actually have to go find it first yeah i was
01:25:45.820
gonna say the hitler fries you cook in the oven that's what i got there i don't know i don't really
01:25:50.060
have any other angles than maybe using blackened seasoning i don't know
01:25:55.180
so wait what is that what is that other line say can you read that
01:25:57.260
what what is that oh it says the eatery in argentina offered the adolf cheese and bacon
01:26:03.260
covered french fries that's not an adolf as a side to their no it is not anna frank hamburger
01:26:09.740
and i have no additional details bun they just did the two little pieces of uh it and kind of gave him
01:26:15.180
that and they could even do a little side you know hair thingy like make it do a little design on the
01:26:18.940
bun and make it look they could do honestly like they could do like a red bull infused drink to be
01:26:29.740
yeah yeah the the hitler fries is just like french fries with a side of syphilis it's like oh geez
01:26:36.300
do the um the and the and frank burger is apparently only 3.5 ounces of beef so it's completely emaciated
01:26:43.740
oh that's the shit dude you're such a scumbag you're off the show that was stupid that was too
01:26:50.300
up dude that's crazy i'm not even joking it's lazy oh it was it's lazy wait is it really like a smaller
01:26:58.300
burger yeah no are there pictures oh dude i thought he just made that up that's crazy
01:27:03.740
oh that's that's awful that's do you actually have these details it's like what do you call
01:27:09.500
it burgers the slider it's a little slider all right well if you i have a details tell us the
01:27:14.140
hitler fries what i have i i well they're hitler oh if they serve you sliders there's one slider
01:27:19.020
missing and you're like where's my last slider and the cashier's like i'm not going to tell you
01:27:23.260
here i'll uh you'll have to find it here i i got it up i'll share it there's there's a picture of the
01:27:28.300
burger on this uh they serve you the burgers from the floorboard like you gotta you know there's
01:27:36.060
there's clues in the diary but then there's actually no there's no and frank burger at the end of it
01:27:40.700
oh man so yeah so and frank so it's a lot of bun very little meat interesting exactly are they
01:27:48.540
implying that she had a donk yeah that's fucking creepy what a weird thing to imply apparently there's
01:27:56.300
a lot of sexual writings in her fucking diary which is weird too yeah wasn't she 12 i don't know
01:28:01.740
the age thing is where we get into like the truth or and frank stuff and the restaurant is
01:28:13.900
maybe the and frank burger is a kid's meal and frank was like the first sting operation for that
01:28:19.820
catch a predator show the crazy thing is that when you look into the and frank story it is complete
01:28:24.700
bullshit is what it seems like like wasn't that i don't i don't know enough to to really say i
01:28:30.140
haven't you know put that to heart as much as some people have but like when you dig it you're like
01:28:35.340
oh and frank story does seem like yo please read that to me oh they have an adolf a gangas and a
01:28:40.860
benito mussolini yeah this place is fucking dope dude oh yeah where is this place argentina it's in
01:28:48.220
argentina it's called honky donkey yo when we make place you find florida when we make crazy money from
01:28:54.060
the show we're gonna go fucking record live at whatever this place is i hope to god i get
01:28:58.940
canceled someday over and frank comments because i know there'll be so many autists will come to my
01:29:03.420
fucking rescue of like nah uh here's the receipts bitch probably put and frank back into the into like
01:29:12.460
the public dialect you like try to cancel me came back stronger i was right mother did you did you
01:29:17.980
ever tell us what the hitler fries were because i'm dying of curiosity i think it was just bacon and
01:29:22.300
we know that yeah they're bacon cheese fries yeah oh i thought i was thinking that was a burger
01:29:26.540
are they naming it like a kid's menu like the chicken nuggets or spider-man
01:29:32.620
yeah the racist won't eat their food unless it has a fun name to it
01:29:35.900
well yeah dude they're saying that anne frank is a hero that's you know you're idolizing her by
01:29:44.940
by naming one of your food items after oh i thought it was just like you're doing with the hitler
01:29:48.780
fries i like holocaust victims that don't die open up a sandwich shop and like all the heroes are
01:29:55.260
named different like brutal dictators because they're all our heroes that's actually yeah we can do that
01:30:01.900
all right all right what's we got i want to play that uh play that racist uh folk music i'd like
01:30:07.580
to do that i want to hear that the racist folk music the the actual videos of them are not them
01:30:13.580
playing any of their racist songs though so do you yeah don't don't don't no don't do that don't do
01:30:18.060
that just just please please one more video so we can get out of here uh we got while we while we
01:30:25.820
wait let's do plugs fuck it yeah that's not plugs that's plugs handy where can we find
01:30:31.820
it uh you can check me actually this weekend is this yeah this is live this weekend if you're in
01:30:37.900
tennessee or in alabama i will be on summer porch tour robbie the fire bernstein go check him out
01:30:44.060
robbie the fire.com uh get those tickets come hang out with us this weekend and also i got a comedy
01:30:49.660
podcast called panties in the mouth uh if you listen to if you listen to music back in the day and
01:30:54.940
went to warp tour a couple times i got a music podcast you'll like called drag the lake and if you
01:30:59.260
want to hear me if you want to hear me rant about uh if you want to hear me rant about politics and
01:31:06.060
shit go check out no more heroes that's my shit and uh andy mile free on social media you have
01:31:11.420
three podcasts my god man my god yeah clint russell host of liberty lockdown co-host of tower gang
01:31:18.940
follow me on twitter at liberty lock pod and check out the two episodes i did of irl monday tuesday
01:31:23.420
i the tuesday one with tom finton was particularly good because i was in the groove i had crazy
01:31:29.180
anxiety on monday by tuesday i was like i don't give a fuck about nothing this is super easy so that
01:31:33.660
was fun um and tomorrow i have on the q anon shaman uh jacob chansley and after that i have another
01:31:41.260
big guest that i'm blanking on max blumenthal who was supposed to debate rfk but rfk backed out
01:31:45.900
because he's a bitch and then next week i have dave smith on for episode three hundo of liberty
01:31:51.580
lockdown sounds like clint catching my sloppy seconds i'm just kidding i'm just kidding i've
01:31:58.220
been doing that for years too uh we trade off very i was so dude i was so pissed when i saw that
01:32:04.940
fucking malice head on uh chansley today i was like god damn it i lost it by a day yeah jose doesn't
01:32:10.460
count you guys can catch me at top he's not my competition dude uh i wasn't thinking like that
01:32:20.220
i'm sorry the q anon shaman he was he was on the mises caucus podcast so anybody will have him on at
01:32:25.340
this point but no i'm jose galison of the no way jose show i was as i was alluding to with my joking i
01:32:31.340
was on timcast last week uh so check that out it was a fun episode kind of silly stories so it was a
01:32:37.180
lot of you know just silly goofing off surprisingly was actually kind of funny episode uh yeah uh like
01:32:42.620
said no way jose show i have thursday i'm digging starting to dig deep into the columbine and then
01:32:48.380
the following week uh i have on a lady who wrote a whole book about rfk seniors assassination and i
01:32:57.100
guess she's friends with rk jr so she's uh she definitely thinks sirhan sirhan didn't do it so i'm
01:33:02.700
looking forward digging into that so uh follow me on twitter at tower gang jose why don't you just
01:33:07.100
go like full sandy hook jr oh i if i can find someone worth talking to about i'll totally do it
01:33:12.620
i really i 100 will i think there was something screwy there i don't think it was entirely what
01:33:17.420
alex jones may have been alluding to we need to have articles written about us and you need to be
01:33:21.340
the sandy hook guy yeah that needs to be your thing i ironically will you know have someone on and i
01:33:27.420
can handle that in a way that i go well uh i'm taking your word some of four i'll look into some of the
01:33:32.140
stuff you'll say you guys yeah take what you want from this i believe it yeah i believe it
01:33:41.020
listen catch me at toplobson.com buy some t-shirts there uh merch engine.com check out uh we picked
01:33:47.500
up revenge of the cyst they're doing really well we got legion of skanks part of the problem all that
01:33:52.220
shit we're selling from there so go there buy some stuff on friday we're gonna be on me clint and cole
01:33:58.540
we'll be on with elijah shaffer on his show slightly offensive go there check us out there
01:34:03.980
and sunday i got another episode of the top lops show coming for you it's a conspiracy we're gonna
01:34:08.140
have mika dank on and we're gonna talk some like astro theology and crazy shit it's gonna go deep
01:34:13.740
we're gonna go to a place that clint didn't go when he had him on
01:34:17.420
yeah because because homeboy was spitting nothing but nonsense and it's micah micah dank
01:34:23.580
that's that's micah dank well terrible name no there's actually it is actually interesting i'm
01:34:29.580
just fucking around but i also don't buy like 80 of it but it is interesting yeah it is interesting
01:34:34.620
but it's very weird when you're like yeah this is my show that i cover fed corruption and typical
01:34:39.100
political analysis let's talk about the stars have to say it was it was in the first year it was in
01:34:46.620
the first no no no it was in the first year of my show so i was like still i was just wanting
01:34:50.700
something to spice it up do something new and i was like dude all right that ain't my
01:34:54.060
shit that's not what i do my top favorite episodes of liberty lockdown are that episode
01:34:58.700
and the one where you had that ufo dude on yeah it was wild i was like yo that that episode was
01:35:03.660
actually really interesting that guy was like blowing my mind you should try and get him on
01:35:07.580
i was talking to richard nixon and he looked at me and he's an alien i'm like yo
01:35:13.980
wait who's this guy that sounds like what i need yeah he i had him on like i don't know six
01:35:19.580
months ago maybe a year ago and uh and he he wrote he was like the star of some like one of
01:35:24.540
the biggest ufo shows on sci-fi for fucking 15 years or something crazy like that wrote a bunch
01:35:29.580
of books but he he he wrote this book like the history of ufos and or presidents and ufos us
01:35:35.180
presidents and ufos and he just talks about all of the the stories and like allegedly he's got source
01:35:40.860
material to prove it all out where all of these fucking presidents either like had hard evidence that
01:35:45.420
aliens were real or they like literally had encounters with but he seems dead serious so
01:35:51.740
rife in that fucking those circles i know i know he legit could be some sort of level of informant
01:35:57.420
asset like it's so ridiculous when you dig into i've been wanting to kick around the idea of doing
01:36:01.500
an episode on this on like the miss info because it's nuts the crazy shit they used to do to people
01:36:05.900
in like the 50s 60s 70s probably still kept doing but we don't really have like bulletproof sources and
01:36:11.020
a lot of this stuff but it was wild that the goose chases they would send these people on and
01:36:14.940
and then have their own people who are experts that would be like i can prove this and like oh but it's
01:36:18.780
a you know a government document that obviously the government made for you or whatever it got into
01:36:23.420
weird schizo psycho territory real top i'm i'm surprised that my favorite the fit your favorite
01:36:28.220
episode of my show isn't laura logan because she went fucking hard in the paint dude like an hour
01:36:33.660
straight of just like the craziest conspiracy theories it was amazing let me tell you why these people drink
01:36:37.740
baby's blood i i'm sorry by the way tower getting tone on twitter tower getting pod everywhere you
01:36:44.540
know where to find us not on youtube at the moment and sign up for the locals um tower game.locals.com
01:36:51.420
and if people are in boston i'm at legion of skanks on friday which is why i'm not on elijah
01:36:56.300
shafer's show again give him a wedgie if you see him yeah that's right hopefully people recognize me
01:37:02.460
using a doe razor if you're going to take him out please please do all right are we uh
01:37:10.380
let's get out of here on this video or whatever the this is oh yeah yo this is going to be remixed
01:37:15.340
into some like bangers i feel it already oh kensington kensington i i don't know what this
01:37:20.220
video is exactly she's obviously on crack let's let's find out i thought crackalicious um this isn't
01:37:29.260
like the whole parody it's just i'm just giving you a max max of volume i don't think you're ready for
01:37:35.020
this headache i don't think you're ready for this headache i don't think you're ready for this because
01:37:40.700
my eyes too crackalicious for you babe okay look we got pure talent and there's more where that came
01:37:50.380
from so stick around we got you covered that's hidden gem in the badlands we're going to get her
01:37:57.020
discovered to the whole world stay crack whore pimp trying out new ways to sell his merch i think that
01:38:03.660
was andrew tate right behind the camera oh dude he's got a new girl for his stable that's dude
01:38:09.980
that's me that's meaner than bum fights like dude do you think that is right to like get her to sing
01:38:17.340
and then be like you're so good at that do you want more crack guys show idea american idol but it's
01:38:24.540
only cracking yo my entire question about this this video is has there been
01:38:31.740
more views on that tick tock than dicks in her mouth and i really don't know the answer well
01:38:36.860
did what do you think do you think dudes fuck her in that uh hole that's in her shoulder
01:38:42.220
with a no-do razor jesus christ yeah what is that hole in her shoulder i don't know i don't know
01:38:49.420
i don't know jesus you know how like how hard it was for me to even attempt to make a joke about
01:38:54.940
that video it's so sad like this is why something makes me so sad that's what i put on the show
01:39:01.020
crazy we're stretching no no no today andy yeah top top sent it to us and he's like he's like look
01:39:14.060
like an extreme sense of sadness just bring me down and i said i think i let me send it to the
01:39:19.660
boys because i think we could do something good with that we have to power through i don't think
01:39:30.620
it's like the look that she gives after she finishes the song and she's like
01:39:35.020
was that is that good and the guy's just oh god it's so sad on so many levels
01:39:39.980
and the guy sounds like the guy sounds like he like has a house and stuff you know what i mean
01:39:46.140
like you can you can hear home ownership in his voice so he's just like baby girl you're so good
01:39:52.300
at this you want more crack no hey hey real talk real talk though like in the article that this came
01:39:57.900
from i found the tiktok video but in the article um it's it's a like a picture of him taking that
01:40:03.660
video and behind it is like professional camera shit set up so like they were doing some pro
01:40:09.500
shit it's not just with the camera yeah so like it's it's like that crazy so he said he has
01:40:13.820
thousands of dollars out there just cannot be stamped down dude were they shooting tiktoks for
01:40:18.940
what was it small white underbelly or whatever that youtube channel is dude i legit think that
01:40:23.580
like the person taking that video is worse than the crackhead on the street by like
01:40:27.820
by oh yeah infinite margin i respect the hustle honestly oh wow i could not disagree more that
01:40:33.740
dude that dude goes straight to hell you go to hell if you do that yeah on one of the tiktoks someone
01:40:40.620
was like under the comments they were like oh i know sandy for a long time she's so sweet
01:40:44.780
and i was like how long they've been plotting on this bitch sandy like he knows sandy he was like
01:40:49.340
he passes by sandy every day they know her name yeah their first name basis oh yeah that's that's
01:40:57.260
it's so premeditated is what makes it dark they're like i bet you i can get that
01:41:00.780
bitch sandy to go viral they call her sandy because her blowjobs are so gritty oh how old
01:41:07.660
do you think she is i mean she's like you with crackheads it's like she could be 25 or 50.
01:41:11.580
what the fuck man bring her up again oh please don't
01:41:17.260
oh god sandy sandy oh yeah i forgot i was able to like you know phase that out and just think of
01:41:24.140
the funny but now i'm looking at the you see the professional camera right yeah that's the part
01:41:29.900
that really makes it up for me because it's like bring it it's ah i don't even know otherwise it's
01:41:34.940
just like oh she's just you know okay would you andy jesus oh my god dude that's so crazy
01:41:44.620
would you he got away with he got away with nigger faggot would you do not get away with this one
01:41:50.220
there there are guys paying to do that not much that's like yeah is that a bullet wound like honestly
01:41:59.020
i think it literally is a where she's injected multiple times and started
01:42:04.300
what's wrong with her belly i don't think i i don't think i could like even like there's no way
01:42:09.420
through that i would rather play the most dangerous game for free than fuck this chick
01:42:14.540
because this is the most dangerous game right she has like a it's like a really unfortunate physique
01:42:23.100
to that to be like this strung out like she could be built different and still not look this awful
01:42:28.380
but she looked like even if she was like straight she would look awful look at her titties they're
01:42:32.300
horrible they're like you know you know what's wild they don't like wild about it is like in her
01:42:36.300
condition she's like i'm gonna crush this tube top she's built like she's built like forest mommy
01:42:51.980
oh my god that's too far top yeah we could say that would be like if she became a crackhead that
01:42:58.300
would be a build you'd have that's not even really that mean if she became a crackhead that would have
01:43:02.940
to bring it back it's trying to really end dude we found it it's been it's been like three years
01:43:10.300
andy and we figured out the line i guess that's the line we found the line she's a nice lady okay
01:43:17.020
all right hey mark random i know you're watching this right now i'm i'm giving you a homework
01:43:20.540
assignment you have to create five minutes of material that makes this funny because i don't
01:43:23.980
think you can do it oh my god i want to make random our on the ground guy on the beat and now to mark
01:43:29.420
random let me hear this beautiful jingle from this uh crackhead do you think do you think it's a
01:43:35.980
do you think do you think it's a coincidence that she has a pearl necklace yo gas digital is dumb as
01:43:41.500
fuck for not making mark random like the on the ground dude that goes straight up interviews
01:43:46.300
prostitutes it's like how how long do you think that mark random could survive doing that gig though
01:43:52.300
he's interviewing prostitutes he would thrive in that what do you mean survive yeah
01:43:55.820
but like how how much longer do you think we have mark in our world though because like dude i think
01:44:00.860
that would make him stick around longer because he would then have a sense of purpose yeah like i'm
01:44:05.100
just going around doing what i want to do and getting paid to do it you know what jose when you're
01:44:09.420
right you're right listen mark mark random here's what i do i'd have mark random sitting in a kitchen
01:44:15.580
just like chris hansen lights off maybe one light just on him and then but it's not like pedophiles but
01:44:21.740
then like you're making a comedy show all right now you're here let's go through some topics the
01:44:26.140
hooker walks in the room and like she doesn't quite know what's going on he's like have a seat
01:44:31.580
you know keep the microphone and just interviews her for an hour i think this is a great show
01:44:38.700
to catch a crack whore yeah yo he does he does to catch a crack whore but then he also he lures in
01:44:43.740
pedophiles but then like instead of calling the cops he says i'm gonna do five minutes to stand up
01:44:48.780
and you have to not laugh if you laugh i call the cops i like the better idea of like making
01:44:53.580
him do a comedy show with you and you have a producer that brings up clips that you're supposed
01:44:57.020
to riff on and be like come on man like you know you just make random pedos have to riff that's awesome
01:45:05.500
he needs to set up a comedy club in the tunnels and do stand-up for mole people but can you imagine
01:45:11.500
this guy's butt that whole life crushed around him and you're like so what do you think about
01:45:15.340
biden falling down pretty funny right do we really need more libertarian podcasts though
01:45:21.580
no that's why we are not one uh and mark randa by the way we give him a sense of purpose because he
01:45:28.300
is credited in every one of our episodes and he does our awesome outro yep speaking of way into ending
01:45:34.140
the show thank you guys so much for tuning in make sure you support andy malafarina he is doing
01:45:39.100
incredible work great stand-up comic you can catch him live at fuckmydick.com um any any other
01:45:45.820
plugs any org thank you thank you fuck my dick we're out of here love you guys i think so you had
01:45:52.380
something you had something else right now you sure it's the tower power hour slot tower power
01:46:09.180
cole top lobster and toad tower gang tower gang tower gang tower gang tower gang tower gang
01:46:17.420
liberty lock is truth say same with lobster cole and jose toad is sick no way jose
01:46:23.660
it's the tower power hour slot they made dave spit all his tower gang tower gang tower gang tower gang
01:46:29.420
tower gang tower gang tower gang tower gang tower gang tower gang tower gang tower gang tower gang
01:46:33.420
dave speak courage you sped sped more than rogan you fed you fed truth box whether tim cast hotel hotel
01:46:39.900
more offensive l.o.s no disrespect more offensive than l.o.s no disrespect yes redhead libertarian is their
01:46:46.700
best friend unless they get raided then they never met never met none of this should be new to me truly
01:46:51.900
clint is a sexual brute to me sorry no booster seat get them tall boots on you not admit it
01:46:56.060
fuck every podcast that won't stoop to me libertarian won't be the same they revolutiony
01:47:00.380
that's a word i miss grammar and send it to rhyme dubitably that too
01:47:03.820
promote myself on there shine stupidly comedy philosophy mark random.com