Tower Gang - Ep 137 - Jackasschwitz w⧸ Ryan Rivera

00:00:00.000 Black people, shh. 1.00

00:00:09.040 It's Power Gang Wednesday, motherfuckers. 1.00

00:00:14.860 What's up, retards? 1.00

00:00:16.760 I'm trying to start a cult here, baby. 1.00

00:00:18.460 So I can only fit a third of my dick into Toad's pussy. 1.00

00:00:23.520 You want to kill me or you want to give me a bone? 1.00

00:00:26.140 I don't know. 1.00

00:00:27.220 When I say fuck the Jews, it means I'm horny. 1.00

00:00:30.540 Woe is me, I'm retarded. 1.00

00:00:32.800 Any of you guys ever had the mythical where there's a whole thing in and then do that shit where they're like, 0.99

00:00:36.320 The three of you had a threesome of some kind. 1.00

00:00:41.080 I was watching it and jerking off. 1.00

00:00:45.120 Fucking asshole. 1.00

00:00:47.200 Toad's a liar. 1.00

00:00:48.500 He was a 10 in real life. 1.00

00:00:49.940 She's like a dead 8.

00:00:53.500 Louis, you're like a brother to me.

00:00:54.820 Donald Trump, come on, Tower Gang.

00:00:56.800 That is fine.

00:00:57.340 Tower Gang is the most offensive podcast. 1.00

00:00:59.420 Fat Dave, fuck you, man. 1.00

00:01:06.880 It's not what this show is about. 1.00

00:01:08.700 This shit is retarded. 1.00

00:01:10.160 Like. 1.00

00:01:13.300 Yo, you threw me off with the retard kissing. 1.00

00:01:15.680 No. 0.98

00:01:15.760 I'm Clint Russell, host of Woody Lockdown. 0.99

00:01:18.280 It is 9-11 on a Wednesday and you know what that means, bitch. 1.00

00:01:20.780 Get your retard hat on because we're getting on the short bus, bitch. 1.00

00:01:24.300 Let's go. 1.00

00:01:25.140 Thank you.

00:01:27.880 Top lobster, top left.

00:01:29.640 Toad, top, middle. 1.00

00:01:30.680 Fucking fat coal. 1.00

00:01:31.980 The most jack midget in the planet. 1.00

00:01:34.400 Bottom middle. 0.90

00:01:35.100 We got Jose Galasson, host of No Way Jose.

00:01:37.180 Bottom right.

00:01:37.720 And today, a very special guest.

00:01:41.040 It is White Bobby Lee. 0.71

00:01:44.600 What's up, brother?

00:01:45.420 Oh, yeah.

00:01:49.380 It's time to play the game.

00:01:52.500 Time to play the game.

00:01:54.720 That song rules.

00:01:55.440 Fresh meat.

00:01:56.800 Hell yeah, man.

00:01:58.440 No, seriously.

00:01:59.460 We actually have Donald Trump here with us.

00:02:01.940 He's excited to be on Tower Gang.

00:02:04.520 Donald, go ahead and tell us.

00:02:05.580 Is this as big a moment as winning the election?

00:02:09.160 How are you feeling about it right about now?

00:02:12.120 Well, we love, I mean, really, we love the Tower Gang, right?

00:02:15.640 Frankly, hold on.

00:02:19.300 Excuse me.

00:02:20.520 These are great people.

00:02:21.880 Okay, they say the K word and the N word and the F slur, okay?

00:02:25.380 But really, they're what we call fantastic.

00:02:28.320 Oops, excuse me.

00:02:31.920 I'm surprised Trump doesn't actually have this problem, usually.

00:02:35.580 I do have that problem.

00:02:37.040 Jimmy Kimmel, remember?

00:02:38.080 He touched the hair.

00:02:39.160 One of the Jimmies, right? 0.99

00:02:40.260 We call him Jimmy.

00:02:41.800 Did you hear my DeSantis yet?

00:02:43.900 No.

00:02:44.540 I felt bad because it was the week that I did that and I did it on my friend's podcast

00:02:51.500 and Greg Kelly watches that podcast.

00:02:53.640 So I'm thinking, I don't know, is DeSantis seeing this?

00:02:56.440 I felt bad because it was the week that that guy was like, so, you're running your campaign.

00:03:02.260 Why are people not liking you?

00:03:03.620 Like, what do you think it is about you personally that people aren't connecting to?

00:03:06.900 And he's like, I think we did a great job if you saw what we did in Florida.

00:03:11.100 And he's like, almost crying.

00:03:13.380 And I was like, I don't think I want to do this anymore.

00:03:15.600 I feel bad.

00:03:16.180 If you see what we're doing in Florida, the head bobbing left and right, we're changing

00:03:22.140 the books from gay books to regular books.

00:03:24.300 Guys, Trump isn't doing that, okay?

00:03:29.440 I'm a human.

00:03:30.460 I didn't know you could make a funny Ron DeSantis impersonation, but you managed to pull it off. 0.99

00:03:35.060 I heard you have a fucking Tim Pool in your arsenal. 0.97

00:03:37.120 I got to hear this. 0.99

00:03:37.960 Yeah, where's my hat?

00:03:39.360 I feel like it's on your head.

00:03:40.460 It's on your head.

00:03:41.300 Oh.

00:03:41.880 We're probably supposed to pay him for this.

00:03:43.280 Like, this is what he does for a living.

00:03:44.240 We're like, no, just entertain us.

00:03:46.460 I've never seen a Tim Pool impersonation.

00:03:49.720 This really is like the pace of a Carrot Top show.

00:03:52.280 He was like, all right, that worked.

00:03:53.400 Go ahead, throw that away.

00:03:55.500 Do you have another one?

00:03:56.460 I wish I could screen share because I have the face and everything, the face swap, but

00:04:01.600 whatever.

00:04:02.720 I look Asian.

00:04:03.500 I look close enough to him, but listen, guys, this just came in.

00:04:07.020 The Maui fires are getting worse.

00:04:09.280 Well, listen, folks.

00:04:10.840 The left Democrats, I think they want a civil war.

00:04:14.580 It's crazy. 0.90

00:04:15.680 It's nuts.

00:04:17.420 Check out this article from BuzzFeed.

00:04:19.120 This is crazy.

00:04:21.860 You guys are in the civil war. 1.00

00:04:22.980 I just need that to be, and I'll also have him finally say, like, Ian, you're a fucking 1.00

00:04:28.540 idiot, and just turn back, because he never says it, and he definitely needs to get that 1.00

00:04:32.460 guy. 1.00

00:04:32.720 He says it, but in the most smart person way, usually.

00:04:37.340 He'll go about cutting Ian down, and Ian will just be like, oh.

00:04:41.340 It's so mean.

00:04:43.040 It is mean.

00:04:44.380 Ian's like a little puppy.

00:04:45.680 He's like, oh, there was actually, in Lord of the Rings, there was a faction of orcs.

00:04:49.580 He's like, Ian, Ian, Ian, Ian, Ian, Ian. 1.00

00:04:51.340 That's fucking retarded. 1.00

00:04:52.240 Dude, but as funny as the, if you're ever in the live chat, it's basically split between 1.00

00:04:57.300 people that want to suck off Ian, like, literally suck him off, and they're talking about how 1.00

00:05:01.020 big his dick is, and then there's the other half that's just like, fuck Ian. 1.00

00:05:05.160 Fuck that guy. 1.00

00:05:06.080 It's completely split, and they'll go back and forth. 1.00

00:05:08.480 It's really funny. 1.00

00:05:09.560 And those people think his dick is small, so it's like, really. 1.00

00:05:11.800 Yeah, they just go, man, like, those dicks are so huge. 1.00

00:05:14.440 I love the concept of having Ian there, because I'm not really a current events guy, but I also 0.96

00:05:19.180 have my comedy, like, somewhat this, that I do, so I'm like, come on, Ian, give me an

00:05:23.620 opening.

00:05:24.240 Give me something to work with.

00:05:25.640 What was worse, guys, Ian's workout video or Toad's workout video?

00:05:30.940 Oh, Jesus.

00:05:31.700 That's a good one.

00:05:32.960 Didn't Toad come back with, like, he was like, well, I did 30 pounds, and I curled that,

00:05:36.700 but if you look, his curls are so bad, so I don't know.

00:05:39.820 So, I lifted more weight than Ian did, but my form was not good, so I don't know, you

00:05:45.200 decide.

00:05:45.620 Ian had great form, but he was lifting, like, girl weights. 1.00

00:05:48.300 They were lifting two and a half pounds.

00:05:49.980 Yeah, I think they were honestly three or four pound weights, but he did have his arms locked

00:05:53.800 out, so it's probably comparable in terms of tension.

00:05:56.380 That's like moving your arms in water.

00:05:58.240 He was probably doing some weird, like, restarted time under tension, like, to a ridiculous degree

00:06:03.200 or something, knowing him.

00:06:04.380 I want to believe, he's also six foot and weighs 135 pounds, so, like, yeah, I outweigh

00:06:11.480 him. 1.00

00:06:11.700 I would kick Ian's ass. 1.00

00:06:13.180 Oh, let's put this fucking fight together. 1.00

00:06:15.280 I want to see. 0.99

00:06:16.480 That's a good fight, actually.

00:06:17.760 I think, yeah, I think he would. 0.99

00:06:18.940 I think Toad would fuck Ian up. 0.99

00:06:20.400 I don't think so. 0.99

00:06:22.280 I got my money on Ian all day.

00:06:23.880 Ryan just said, he was telling us he's been doing boxing, so that might be a good for him

00:06:27.160 thing to, he can give his thoughts on it.

00:06:29.980 Yeah, I could be up Ian very easily.

00:06:31.460 It would just, I'd feel bad.

00:06:32.840 No, no, no.

00:06:33.420 What about Toad versus Ian?

00:06:37.200 I think, you know, Toad looks like, you know, I don't know, because Ian doesn't seem like

00:06:40.560 an aggressive or even assertive person.

00:06:42.980 I've seen him just try to make a point and a small Asian guy with a beanie just shutting 1.00

00:06:46.720 him down immediately.

00:06:48.860 Keep in mind, though.

00:06:49.960 Keep in mind, though.

00:06:51.000 Toad is four foot four, so.

00:06:53.280 He's also the arbiter of funny.

00:06:55.700 I'm three foot two.

00:06:56.780 It's fine. 1.00

00:06:58.180 I saw that video of fucking Ian preacher curling, like a couch preacher curl. 0.99

00:07:02.640 Yeah. 0.99

00:07:03.000 And it looked like a good pump.

00:07:04.580 I like the small weight thing. 0.99

00:07:06.680 Sometimes you need just high rep, fucking get it all pumped up. 0.98

00:07:10.060 But he's the kind of guy that seems like he'd be fucking using crystals as dumbbells or something. 0.98

00:07:15.340 I think you would have a gym bro friend that'd be like, yo, don't post that. 0.97

00:07:21.020 Yeah.

00:07:21.280 You get a good workout.

00:07:22.460 I'm proud of you.

00:07:23.220 But don't post that.

00:07:24.000 Yo, I have a bet with Ian right now because he saw that I'm at 97,000 followers on Twitter

00:07:31.060 and he's at 97,500.

00:07:32.580 So, we're having a race.

00:07:33.900 And if I beat him, so this is very important that everyone listening right now, go and

00:07:37.340 follow at Liberty LockPod.

00:07:38.380 Do not follow Ian Crossland because this is a high stakes bet.

00:07:40.800 If I lose, I have to give him a hug.

00:07:43.880 And if I win, he owes me a hug.

00:07:45.940 So, I want that hug, folks.

00:07:47.600 Please make it happen. 1.00

00:07:48.260 It's like gay as shit I've ever been. 1.00

00:07:48.760 That's gay as shit? 1.00

00:07:49.600 I can't believe you said that here. 1.00

00:07:51.440 You wasted time on this show.

00:07:53.540 Wait, wait, wait. 0.99

00:07:53.560 That's gay? 1.00

00:07:54.460 Yeah. 0.69

00:07:55.160 What are you talking about?

00:07:56.820 Wait, look at this.

00:07:57.420 You're just like, either way, we have to hug each other.

00:07:59.280 Oh, don't you do it.

00:08:01.380 Oh, my God.

00:08:03.760 No.

00:08:04.760 Let's go.

00:08:05.880 Let's hug.

00:08:06.340 Baby. 1.00

00:08:09.580 Fuck you. 1.00

00:08:10.460 I actually, I just unfollowed Ian today because he unfollowed me. 1.00

00:08:15.000 Oh, no. 1.00

00:08:15.520 Like a bitch. 1.00

00:08:15.980 I hate that, right? 1.00

00:08:16.980 Yeah.

00:08:17.220 Oh, no.

00:08:18.260 Oh, no.

00:08:18.820 All right.

00:08:19.440 Let's hop in the mailbag.

00:08:20.740 To be fair, you were probably clowning on him in his workout video.

00:08:23.480 Are we not going to address? 1.00

00:08:25.820 I was like, look at this faggot. 1.00

00:08:27.020 Mass unfollowing Ian. 1.00

00:08:29.120 Hold on.

00:08:29.700 Hold on.

00:08:30.000 Are we not going to address what's going on right here?

00:08:32.960 What are you saying?

00:08:33.540 What are you saying? 1.00

00:08:34.600 This fucking naked man in front of us that looks like, and Toad, I'm saying this sincerely, 1.00

00:08:38.980 get that mole checked out. 1.00

00:08:40.540 I already have.

00:08:41.800 I had a dermatologist.

00:08:43.720 My dermatologist said that I have amazing skin and to not be worried about this mole,

00:08:49.300 even though it has.

00:08:50.020 Toad, Toad, you know that you could just ask them and they would have removed it, right?

00:08:53.940 Did you like, do you want to keep it?

00:08:55.500 Do you like having Pangea on your left shoulder?

00:08:59.160 Yeah.

00:09:00.220 I love it, dude.

00:09:02.060 Do you think it'll separate and turn into different countries and countries?

00:09:05.100 Yeah.

00:09:05.300 Yeah.

00:09:05.600 Yeah.

00:09:06.720 And then when that happens, I will cut off just Africa. 1.00

00:09:10.260 That's the one that's going to be malignant, unfortunately. 1.00

00:09:16.920 Like, oh shit, there's extra melanin in this mole right here. 1.00

00:09:20.380 Get rid of that shit. 1.00

00:09:21.920 Toad, you're close enough to be like, yeah, I'm basically 1% black, and so I can say it. 1.00

00:09:27.480 You are.

00:09:27.860 Nicole, I think we've tried to segue into Mailbag multiple times.

00:09:33.180 All right, fine.

00:09:33.840 I feel like we're just killing Toad.

00:09:37.020 For our listening audience, we are all tanked up tonight.

00:09:43.180 This is for the ladies and the homos that watch. 1.00

00:09:45.700 This is sex appeal. 0.99

00:09:46.680 We do this for you. 1.00

00:09:47.700 This is why Toad took his entire fucking clothes off. 0.99

00:09:49.980 I don't know why, but that's where we're at right now. 0.99

00:09:52.380 I don't own a tank because I am a fucking tank, so I can't go. 0.98

00:09:58.500 And by the way, the doctor that said he has beautiful skin, 60-year-old Czechoslovakian 0.99

00:10:03.460 woman.

00:10:04.500 It was actually, his name is Buffalo Bill, actually.

00:10:08.800 You have great skin.

00:10:10.120 You have to put lotion on it.

00:10:13.360 I rub the lotion on it, yeah.

00:10:15.220 Guys, only on one portion of it.

00:10:17.640 Can we just explain why we're so amped up today?

00:10:20.500 Over the week, something crazy happened. 0.99

00:10:22.860 Fuck Mailbag. 1.00

00:10:23.500 We tried to play Mailbag. 1.00

00:10:24.880 Toad, pull up the video of what happened here.

00:10:27.660 People pay good money for us to...

00:10:29.440 They pay us $3 whenever they feel like.

00:10:33.780 It's not even monthly anymore.

00:10:35.760 They pay good money. 0.98

00:10:38.140 Before we got kicked off of fucking, was it Patreon or whatever that is? 0.97

00:10:42.140 Yeah, at least we were like, oh, this guy gives $5 a month. 0.97

00:10:44.580 Now on Locals, they're like, this guy gives whatever he didn't get, whatever he didn't pay

00:10:48.620 for coffee.

00:10:49.420 $0.73.

00:10:49.840 $0.56 three months ago. 0.99

00:10:53.800 Get the fuck out of there, man. 0.99

00:10:57.840 So, play the video. 1.00

00:10:58.780 We don't respect these hoes. 1.00

00:10:59.920 Look at these hoes in the chat. 1.00

00:11:01.040 Look at them, just talking away.

00:11:02.540 Yap, yap, yap. 1.00

00:11:03.440 Shut up. 1.00

00:11:03.700 They got words to say, fucking. 1.00

00:11:06.320 We should have never taught Slikes how to read. 1.00

00:11:08.440 We're doing big things like this.

00:11:10.420 That's right, yeah.

00:11:11.100 All right.

00:11:12.360 Wait until everyone wasn't talking. 0.99

00:11:14.960 What the fuck is that? 0.99

00:11:15.720 I guess it's ended it. 0.99

00:11:17.640 We're playing the game.

00:11:18.820 We're going back.

00:11:20.320 So, when are you having Tower Gang on?

00:11:22.700 I don't know what that is.

00:11:23.240 They paid me to say that.

00:11:24.160 Mark, let me...

00:11:24.920 Could I pay Zach Stout?

00:11:26.420 And I mean this.

00:11:27.640 Shannon, edit that out of the show. 1.00

00:11:29.340 Oh, fuck. 1.00

00:11:30.520 The Tower Gang is not going to fucking mark random their way into my show. 1.00

00:11:35.000 Now, Tower Gang just has one year of never being on a gas digital show. 0.98

00:11:38.920 Just because of you. 0.99

00:11:40.020 Just because you fucked it up. 1.00

00:11:41.100 Because they thought you were going to be the one. 1.00

00:11:42.440 Are you out of your fucking mind? 1.00

00:11:43.640 I told them, man. 1.00

00:11:45.380 You really fucked up. 1.00

00:11:46.520 And you never will know. 1.00

00:11:47.500 You really fucked up. 1.00

00:11:48.600 No one's going to know. 1.00

00:11:49.380 One year band.

00:11:50.800 Shannon, put it on the board.

00:11:51.740 One year band for Tower Gang.

00:11:53.700 Edit all this out.

00:11:54.780 Actually, no.

00:11:55.140 None of this goes out.

00:11:55.600 Can I please say, please don't edit any of this.

00:11:57.140 Just bleep the word Tower.

00:11:58.540 Yeah, yeah.

00:11:59.080 No, no.

00:11:59.540 Do that.

00:11:59.900 So we can have the whole comedy of the fact that you're refusing to have it.

00:12:03.120 Just bleep the word Tower Gang.

00:12:06.640 Bleep the entire word.

00:12:08.060 But could I pay Zach's salary to have on?

00:12:11.260 No.

00:12:12.300 I could pay Zach's salary.

00:12:13.740 I don't think you could pay Zach's salary.

00:12:14.860 Zach is like his best friend.

00:12:18.260 What?

00:12:18.700 This goes to the head.

00:12:20.660 Now I think he's taking a shot at his salary.

00:12:22.760 No, I wanted blank on.

00:12:25.860 Blank on.

00:12:26.520 He's doing it himself.

00:12:28.980 See, I bleeped it out.

00:12:31.820 A British person was hospitalized after holding in a sneeze.

00:12:35.140 Dude.

00:12:35.560 Oh my God, dude.

00:12:36.260 Have you ever seen...

00:12:37.360 Okay, so here's what happened. 0.99

00:12:39.140 And I don't give a fuck who hears it. 0.99

00:12:41.100 Random DMs me randomly. 0.99

00:12:42.780 Because this is what he does.

00:12:43.740 It's like three in the morning.

00:12:45.340 We love him, by the way.

00:12:46.980 We love Random.

00:12:47.700 And I don't regret anything he did.

00:12:50.080 I don't regret any of the repercussions, even though we didn't ask for anything.

00:12:52.880 We didn't ask him to do that.

00:12:53.660 But it was still awesome.

00:12:55.880 He DMs me like, he's like, yo, I got on rap.

00:12:58.800 And I was like, yeah, I saw they announced it.

00:13:00.220 Pretty cool.

00:13:01.000 And he's like, I'm going to shout out Tower Gang.

00:13:03.220 And I was like, hey, that's pretty cool.

00:13:05.140 I appreciate that.

00:13:06.220 He goes, but I'm going to do it in a way that will surprise you.

00:13:09.840 And I was like, I said, oh, like how?

00:13:12.940 Could you tell me?

00:13:13.640 And he's like, it's going to...

00:13:14.500 No.

00:13:15.100 And I was like, I guess I'll just watch and see.

00:13:18.880 That was his ingenious plot.

00:13:21.840 Hey, I'm here to show you the way that Dave paid me to do it.

00:13:25.640 It's the most ingenious way to do it.

00:13:27.300 Because it was like, I mean, it was so ill-received at every second.

00:13:31.240 And it was just so amazing.

00:13:33.880 It's also weird for me, as a growing up a Christian, watching the devil himself be like, no, these guys are pretty good.

00:13:43.180 I didn't know the devil looked like Crispin Glover. 0.99

00:13:45.780 Like, damn. 1.00

00:13:49.000 This guy with all the Satan tattoos. 1.00

00:13:51.020 My favorite variant of Luis J. Gomez is the angry one.

00:13:54.380 So the fact that our name made him angry was some sort of surreal experience for me.

00:14:00.700 It was thrilling.

00:14:01.660 That's the only variant of Luis, to be fair.

00:14:04.560 Well, it's the only funny variant, yeah.

00:14:06.300 All right.

00:14:06.880 He's got a very intimidating voice.

00:14:08.780 Like, he's one of the guys that I wouldn't want him to be mad at me just because his voice is so aggressive.

00:14:13.640 But he's like a nice guy.

00:14:14.940 Like, I've had a couple of experience with him, and he's very nice.

00:14:17.840 Have you seen him fight?

00:14:18.760 It's not impressive.

00:14:19.760 No.

00:14:20.040 No, I haven't.

00:14:20.800 Dude.

00:14:21.360 But that's the thing.

00:14:21.880 It's not even about the fight.

00:14:22.880 Like, even when I first started boxing, too, like, I just, I was told to, like, stick close to the person, and, like, you bypass their arms.

00:14:29.700 But I was like, yeah, but, like, their head is, like, so close to me.

00:14:32.580 And, like, I think they're going to bite me or something.

00:14:34.180 Like, I don't, I don't, I get intimidated by people with, like, a nice, strong voice, and they're angry.

00:14:40.120 Like, Gavin, it used to work for Gavin.

00:14:42.340 He yells at me all the time.

00:14:43.340 It just doesn't work anymore.

00:14:44.840 He could scream in my face, and I'll be like, that's what's up. 1.00

00:14:47.560 But back in the day, it's like, oh, fuck, I'm being yelled at. 0.99

00:14:51.740 But, yeah, I don't know. 0.99

00:14:53.340 He's been a nice guy, but lately he has been a little ornery, right?

00:14:57.680 Like, he had a fight with somebody on Legion of Skanks.

00:15:00.160 I'm really dying to see it.

00:15:01.480 It's the Kyle Dunnigan episode, which is, he's a great impersonator, but I heard he didn't get to say anything, because it was just, like, a lot of big fights.

00:15:08.320 I think Toto was in the audience, wasn't he?

00:15:09.540 Who would win in a fight?

00:15:10.360 That was a different episode.

00:15:11.660 Lewis at the Boston Live when he fought a guy in the audience.

00:15:15.100 He's fighting people at every show, apparently.

00:15:16.680 Ryan, who would win?

00:15:18.140 Maybe he's on steroids.

00:15:19.240 Who would win in a fight?

00:15:20.220 Puerto Rican.

00:15:20.720 You or Kyle Dunnigan? 1.00

00:15:22.780 I would murder Kyle Dunnigan. 0.99

00:15:25.680 You heard it here first, folks. 1.00

00:15:27.140 He's going to kill Kyle Dunnigan. 0.89

00:15:28.880 He seems, like, low-key based. 0.67

00:15:30.740 I'm not sure.

00:15:31.300 He was on Rogan, and he was saying, I don't know, a couple, like, dog whistles.

00:15:35.300 Dog whistles are real.

00:15:36.260 Like, the ADL made that up, I'm sure, but it works.

00:15:39.640 I got whistled.

00:15:40.980 88 hours from now.

00:15:42.600 There are literal dog whistles that exist.

00:15:44.700 Yeah, where I grew up, dog whistles meant lunch was ready, but, um.

00:15:52.040 Got that dog in him.

00:15:53.420 Hell yeah.

00:15:53.980 All right, so go ahead with the mailbag whenever you're ready.

00:15:56.740 Oh, yeah.

00:15:57.260 Yes. 0.93

00:15:57.600 All right, so we have Jack says, Toad's the type of nigga to use command line because he 1.00

00:16:04.420 doesn't know how to use a graphical user interface. 0.91

00:16:06.860 Don't worry, he gets the joke.

00:16:08.440 Ouch.

00:16:11.060 I don't get the joke. 1.00

00:16:11.940 I don't get the joke, but fuck you, Toad. 1.00

00:16:13.560 That was a good one. 1.00

00:16:14.160 No, no, no.

00:16:15.060 That is actually, uh, that's not even an insult, man.

00:16:18.420 That's a compliment. 0.98

00:16:19.280 The fact that I know how to use fucking command line interfaces. 0.99

00:16:21.880 Mute him. 0.98

00:16:22.160 I don't know what any of this means. 0.86

00:16:23.520 Just mute him.

00:16:24.120 I use it all the time, man. 1.00

00:16:26.180 Fucking Unix commands. 1.00

00:16:27.540 Yeah. 1.00

00:16:27.960 I love it.

00:16:28.720 So then how come you can't configure out control scroll?

00:16:30.160 Toad and the agent are the other ones understanding this.

00:16:32.220 Like, oh, yes.

00:16:33.720 That's right.

00:16:34.920 Dude.

00:16:35.500 Computer software.

00:16:36.400 Yes.

00:16:36.620 We make all time.

00:16:38.360 Listen, man.

00:16:39.560 Dude, I am old school.

00:16:41.540 I am a software developer who grew up through the 90s. 0.99

00:16:44.640 You think I know how to use fucking UI for... 0.98

00:16:48.320 No, you can't use Google, so... 0.99

00:16:50.160 Like, the more defensive you get, the more uncertain that you're an FBI agent that has never looked

00:16:55.800 at a computer aside from when you're doing this show.

00:16:58.520 I don't think you know anything about computers.

00:17:01.380 In fact, I'm certain of it.

00:17:02.380 I don't think you know anything.

00:17:02.980 You know, I can tell he's not an FBI agent because government workers get good health

00:17:06.860 care and he would have had that mole looked at around. 1.00

00:17:10.380 That shit is gross, bro. 1.00

00:17:12.040 Yeah. 1.00

00:17:12.660 And if the Fed sent you out as a mole with a mole...

00:17:18.680 That's an awesome power show. 1.00

00:17:20.960 Fuck. 1.00

00:17:21.940 Moly, moly, moly, moly. 1.00

00:17:23.620 Yo, I think your mole just winked at me. 1.00

00:17:25.060 That shit sucks. 1.00

00:17:25.960 Dude, what I'm wondering is, dude, I've been shirtless, like, at least five times on the 1.00

00:17:29.960 show and you're only bringing this up now.

00:17:32.080 Well, look, we need more content. 0.68

00:17:34.720 We're going to clown you on different levels.

00:17:36.380 Guys, before, we didn't have a sponsor.

00:17:38.520 It's a great segue.

00:17:39.600 They do a shave company.

00:17:40.680 And everybody knows, Toad uses Nadeau to shave his mole. 0.99

00:17:45.940 Did you actually use it as a fucking straight razor, dude? 0.98

00:17:49.620 I have not actually... 0.99

00:17:50.960 He doesn't shave his mole.

00:17:51.900 Well, listen, if I used Nadeau to shave my mole, Nadeau is such a sharp, well-engineered

00:17:57.580 blade that it would remove the mole.

00:17:59.880 I wouldn't even need a dermatologist for it.

00:18:02.380 I don't know.

00:18:02.660 It looks like one of those flat moles, so I don't know if that...

00:18:04.920 Do home surgery with Nadeau.

00:18:07.000 If you have a mole that's been bothering you, don't go to a dermatologist. 1.00

00:18:11.220 Just zap that bitch straight off with Nadeau. 1.00

00:18:13.740 Go to NadeauShaveCo.com and use promo code GANG, I'm assuming. 1.00

00:18:18.700 I don't really know.

00:18:19.620 Tower Gang.

00:18:19.820 Tower Gang for 10% off, please.

00:18:21.720 Maybe.

00:18:22.820 15%.

00:18:23.260 15%.

00:18:24.580 Even better.

00:18:25.960 Or use code LOCKDOWN, who will also become a sponsor of me.

00:18:30.300 It doesn't matter which.

00:18:32.060 I also did shave with it recently. 1.00

00:18:33.640 It is good shit. 1.00

00:18:34.640 Yeah, actually, I got it in the mail. 0.99

00:18:36.260 And the weird thing is, he gives you...

00:18:38.160 So you get one of the handle, whatever the hack this is.

00:18:41.700 Your guys came in a paper bag, too?

00:18:44.080 It was just like a rolled-up paper bag you put lunch in?

00:18:46.580 Oh, yeah.

00:18:47.320 Yeah, it was.

00:18:47.820 Yeah.

00:18:48.440 What I didn't like about it is I got the razor,

00:18:51.160 but it also, there was a...

00:18:53.960 Yeah, the pack of 100 razors.

00:18:55.740 No, no, no, no.

00:18:56.300 I got another package, and it said, like, 0.98

00:18:58.720 return to Ted Kaczynski like it was some sort of fucking ha-ha joke. 0.98

00:19:01.960 And it was ticking. 0.99

00:19:03.040 It was ticking.

00:19:03.700 And I was like, no, thank you. 1.00

00:19:05.980 So, yeah, fuck you, Nadeau. 1.00

00:19:07.060 I don't know why you would do that to me. 1.00

00:19:09.180 Yeah, it's a 50-50 shot. 0.87

00:19:10.200 They'll send you a bomb.

00:19:11.020 50-50 shot, they'll send you a razor. 0.93

00:19:12.400 But, I mean, I think it's worth it.

00:19:14.120 You know, the shave is close.

00:19:16.300 This is...

00:19:16.580 I heard that they use these razors for the Jewish brishes, 1.00

00:19:19.960 and then they suck... 1.00

00:19:21.060 Yeah. 1.00

00:19:22.440 Yeah.

00:19:22.800 Clean cut.

00:19:23.160 Man, that's probably not what they want to market, but... 1.00

00:19:26.920 What the fuck? 1.00

00:19:32.740 Circumcise your baby with Nadeau. 1.00

00:19:36.800 Back to mailbag. 1.00

00:19:38.140 Fuck Nadeau. 1.00

00:19:39.000 Every day is a bris with Nadeau. 1.00

00:19:41.060 I will try this Nadeau,

00:19:47.860 because I just got into straight razor stuff, 0.86

00:19:49.660 and it's fucking weird how, like, 0.90

00:19:51.400 everything else in the world has advanced and gotten better, 0.97

00:19:54.000 but when it comes to blades,

00:19:55.660 they've literally gotten worse.

00:19:56.940 Like, these cartridge razors are worse 1.00

00:19:59.360 than the fucking one blade. 0.99

00:20:01.260 Hey, dude, real talk. 0.99

00:20:02.500 You know what's crazy?

00:20:03.540 Granted, I am being paid to say this,

00:20:04.960 but I got the Nadeau in the mail, 0.99

00:20:06.520 and the shit is fucking super high quality. 0.99

00:20:09.360 It's a really great product. 1.00

00:20:10.580 If you guys are looking to get a new razor

00:20:12.500 and to support a free speech-oriented company,

00:20:15.420 please go and grab some Nadeau.

00:20:17.220 I don't know what the price was, 0.99

00:20:18.620 but it's like, it comes with so many fucking razors, 1.00

00:20:20.960 that it'll last you for fucking ever. 0.99

00:20:23.440 It literally, he gives you, 0.99

00:20:24.680 the pack is like, $45.

00:20:26.840 It's $45.

00:20:27.760 He gives you 100 free razor blades.

00:20:31.000 It's like, I think one razor blade lasts like a month. 1.00

00:20:33.860 You can go forever on this shit. 1.00

00:20:36.220 This guy's an idiot. 1.00

00:20:37.460 Take it while you can. 1.00

00:20:38.240 It's really stupid, 0.99

00:20:40.740 because, dude, I only need one to get the job done. 1.00

00:20:43.180 A woman is running the company.

00:20:44.680 Take advantage.

00:20:45.860 He's like, I'll free razors for everyone. 0.97

00:20:48.820 Dude, I only need one to kill myself,

00:20:50.800 so you can have the other 99. 0.99

00:20:52.820 Jesus Christ.

00:20:54.040 That was dark.

00:20:55.160 That was dark. 1.00

00:20:57.700 Speaking of killing yourself, 1.00

00:20:58.980 what you don't want to do is kill your face, too, 1.00

00:21:00.660 so you get the... 0.99

00:21:01.120 No, I'm not even kidding.

00:21:02.000 You get that nice brush,

00:21:03.820 which those are way too expensive,

00:21:05.760 but you just...

00:21:06.600 It'll last forever.

00:21:07.320 It's a badger brush,

00:21:08.060 and then you get a little bowl, 1.00

00:21:09.480 and you fucking make the lather yourself, 1.00

00:21:11.140 and you put it on your face. 1.00

00:21:11.720 It's like, I love shaving.

00:21:12.800 Even if I have a little Asian nothing hair,

00:21:16.460 I just still want to shave it.

00:21:19.540 It's so fun.

00:21:20.320 And then you get the block.

00:21:21.700 That's like a block of a naturally occurring mineral,

00:21:23.800 and when you're done, 1.00

00:21:25.400 you wash your face off all the shit, 1.00

00:21:27.580 and then you rub that on your face, 1.00

00:21:29.720 and it's just like awesome.

00:21:31.000 It's so cool.

00:21:31.880 I'm not understanding how you're panning to your bathroom

00:21:34.180 with your razor gear.

00:21:36.340 He's got a webcam in his bathroom.

00:21:37.900 It's a live beat.

00:21:40.160 It's his other camera. 0.99

00:21:42.880 I'm like, why is this fucking... 0.99

00:21:45.520 It's like freeze-framed. 0.99

00:21:46.760 I don't understand what's happening.

00:21:47.740 He wakes up in the morning,

00:21:48.820 and he checks his webcam.

00:21:49.900 He's like, it's still there.

00:21:51.100 It's his prized possession.

00:21:54.180 I love it.

00:21:54.860 Yeah, that's my...

00:21:55.420 It's a Nest cam, just fixated on that.

00:21:58.320 I tune in,

00:21:59.160 I hear my wife dropping deuces in there, 0.90

00:22:01.040 and I'm like, hey, that's fine.

00:22:02.560 It's just for a very small burglar,

00:22:04.340 just if they enter that one space.

00:22:07.640 You only get their hands.

00:22:09.000 You only see the fingertips,

00:22:10.200 but the fingertips are black,

00:22:11.500 so you're like, all right.

00:22:13.320 But the palms.

00:22:14.620 The palms.

00:22:15.820 If they just rob stuff with that cam like this,

00:22:19.140 you'd never know.

00:22:19.900 Listen, man,

00:22:20.320 they're just doing this,

00:22:24.980 and so they're like,

00:22:25.500 oh, it's a white guy. 0.99

00:22:28.060 If Ryan gets robbed by a black midget, 1.00

00:22:31.920 he'll be able to catch him. 0.97

00:22:35.280 And that's the way we should get robbed.

00:22:36.860 Promo code, Tower Gang,

00:22:38.240 let's get on with the rest of the show.

00:22:39.840 That brings us to our next sponsor,

00:22:41.240 Black Midget. 1.00

00:22:41.940 Do you find yourself...

00:22:43.940 Is your Roomba not effective enough? 0.99

00:22:47.320 A black midget, I believe, 1.00

00:22:48.700 is called a Nidget. 0.99

00:22:50.320 Hell yeah.

00:22:52.380 I know white ones called a widget,

00:22:53.900 and they do a lot of stuff for your phone.

00:22:56.300 Oh, yeah.

00:22:56.920 I know all about those widgets.

00:22:58.400 And Toad, this is delayed,

00:22:59.460 but where we at?

00:23:01.040 Toad with a banger.

00:23:02.040 Hell yeah, man. 0.93

00:23:02.500 Good for you.

00:23:03.300 Put that in your pocket.

00:23:04.460 All right.

00:23:05.260 Do you have another mailbag, Toad?

00:23:06.320 I'll have to save it for a while.

00:23:07.320 Yes, we have two more.

00:23:08.820 Mail Monkey, 35,

00:23:10.680 one of our repeat mailbag offenders. 0.92

00:23:14.540 Thank you for being a white viewer. 0.96

00:23:15.900 Exactly. 0.80

00:23:16.840 Is it possible to be racist if you're blind? 1.00

00:23:21.240 Yeah, because I hear those motherfuckers all the time. 1.00

00:23:23.760 Like, what are you talking about? 1.00

00:23:24.860 The loudest race. 1.00

00:23:26.280 You ever smelt an Indian?

00:23:27.300 That's true.

00:23:27.700 I feel like they'd be more effectively able to discern race in some ways.

00:23:32.240 Yeah, look, because when you're blind,

00:23:33.840 your other senses are more, like, in tune,

00:23:36.140 so you can smell an Indian from, like, all the way over here.

00:23:38.640 It's actually the most authentic version of racism. 0.97

00:23:41.260 Yeah, you can hear the black people.

00:23:42.820 It does away with this veneer of our skin color being white. 0.65

00:23:46.440 Or superior, in our case.

00:23:48.240 That's right.

00:23:48.840 Exactly.

00:23:49.260 And it gets under the press tax.

00:23:52.500 You don't pay your bills.

00:23:54.580 Dude, you can just smell the inferiority. 1.00

00:23:58.760 Oh, shit. 1.00

00:24:00.160 I think that's the major factor, the smell. 1.00

00:24:02.780 The smell is so off-putting.

00:24:03.820 We were all beating around it with jokes.

00:24:05.200 Toad is right to it.

00:24:07.000 No, Toad's right. 0.93

00:24:08.360 See, I got into it with a bunch of black people again this week, 0.99

00:24:10.880 and they keep on going back to, like, oh, white girls, they smell. 0.99

00:24:13.260 It's weird how that happens to you every week. 0.51

00:24:15.200 It's crazy.

00:24:16.360 You don't do anything to deserve that.

00:24:19.120 What did I do this time?

00:24:20.540 Oh, it was the white sorority, 0.94

00:24:22.420 and the black football player was, like, 0.77

00:24:24.580 he was, like, ain't no drop of melanin in there.

00:24:26.680 Oh, yeah.

00:24:26.880 So I was, like, imagine if it was y'all.

00:24:29.860 I just put a picture of, like, black people doing stuff, 0.87

00:24:32.820 and then they were all over me. 1.00

00:24:34.440 They were, like, oh, fuck you, this and that. 1.00

00:24:36.200 And they were saying that white girls like that, 1.00

00:24:37.880 they were, like, they smell, and I was, like, are you crazy? 0.97

00:24:40.320 Have you ever been next to one of you guys? 1.00

00:24:41.800 It smells like wet laundry and, like, fucking. 1.00

00:24:44.520 Dude, that's the weird thing, 1.00

00:24:46.060 because black people think that about white people. 0.98

00:24:47.520 They say that we smell, like, unwashed laundry, or, like, 1.00

00:24:49.740 No, wet dog.

00:24:50.660 Wet dog.

00:24:51.560 Wet dog, yeah.

00:24:52.300 But they smell like unwashed laundry.

00:24:54.520 That's why they smell like flowers. 0.81

00:24:55.360 White sorority hoes smell amazing. 1.00

00:24:57.600 Yeah, let's say they're all wearing, like,

00:24:59.000 Victoria's Secret, like, just the, like,

00:25:01.660 sweetest smelling perfume out there, 1.00

00:25:03.840 and they're, like, they all wear the same shit. 1.00

00:25:05.920 See, this is how blind people maintain their racism, 1.00

00:25:09.020 is that there is an oeuvre that kicks off.

00:25:12.080 And you could also hear the content of the character,

00:25:14.960 and you could sometimes, you'll feel the content of the character.

00:25:20.400 I literally didn't judge a book by its cover.

00:25:22.180 I took in all my other available senses

00:25:24.200 and came to determination.

00:25:25.840 You can smell the gunpowder 1.00

00:25:27.560 when a black person walks into the room. 1.00

00:25:29.040 Yeah, that guy's speaking jive. 0.99

00:25:31.000 I better run right now.

00:25:33.580 Or, like, don't they touch your face

00:25:35.220 to see what you look like, too?

00:25:36.460 It's, like, that's not going to go good.

00:25:38.080 It's like a big nose. 0.98

00:25:39.560 Are you Jewish or black? 1.00

00:25:40.700 Yeah, the blind people, yeah. 1.00

00:25:43.880 I'm still at the lips. 0.56

00:25:45.980 Oh, by the crown of the nose, Nigerian. 1.00

00:25:49.060 Mm, that doesn't vote well.

00:25:50.580 Yeah.

00:25:52.020 People act like that.

00:25:53.320 No, that would go so bad.

00:25:54.460 People act like that.

00:25:55.480 You will be a tremendous addition to my plantation.

00:25:58.380 A tremendous addition, really.

00:26:02.320 We would have you working so hard and so beautifully, right?

00:26:05.780 Shining in the sun.

00:26:06.780 But people act like you need the N-bomb 0.99

00:26:11.520 to have them haul off and punch you. 1.00

00:26:13.920 Like, there's no fucking way. 0.99

00:26:14.940 You walk up to one of them and you're just like, 0.99

00:26:16.700 hey! 0.99

00:26:17.400 You just do anything weird?

00:26:18.780 And they'll probably just be like, yo! 0.99

00:26:20.860 And just, like, hit you. 0.92

00:26:22.560 You don't need to drop the N-bomb at all. 0.98

00:26:24.500 You don't even need to come close.

00:26:25.600 You can just be like, excuse me.

00:26:27.180 It's like some of them are tightly wound.

00:26:29.400 Some of them are the coolest ever, like,

00:26:32.520 at this place I keep going and getting food from,

00:26:35.200 like, this local place.

00:26:35.880 He's, like, the best guy in the world.

00:26:36.840 Like, a skateboarding black guy. 0.85

00:26:38.340 But the thing is, his parents moved from, like,

00:26:40.680 Nigeria or some country like that.

00:26:42.960 And so they're actually, like, 0.96

00:26:44.200 I don't know, American black culture is very bad. 1.00

00:26:46.740 Like, look what it did to Eminem. 0.92

00:26:49.860 Dude, it's cool when you meet, like,

00:26:51.040 an Americanized black dude from some other country

00:26:53.600 and they talk about American, like, races.

00:26:56.840 And they'll, like, talk the worst about, like, 1.00

00:26:58.680 American black and shit. 1.00

00:26:59.740 And you're like, okay there, buddy. 1.00

00:27:01.760 And it's, like, a black dude. 0.56

00:27:02.840 I dated this South African chick 1.00

00:27:05.100 and she was literally black,

00:27:06.600 but she was like, I am not black.

00:27:07.840 I'm Koi-san.

00:27:08.760 And she went, like, Koi-san.

00:27:11.120 She really did. 0.89

00:27:12.500 And she was like, yeah, we don't like black people. 1.00

00:27:14.460 I'm like, you're fucking black. 1.00

00:27:15.980 But, like, they're a tribe. 1.00

00:27:17.660 So they have a culture that is not black. 0.99

00:27:20.520 It's not a black culture. 0.98

00:27:21.920 It's a Koi-san tribe. 1.00

00:27:23.300 It's a killing black culture. 1.00

00:27:24.100 Oh, my God. 1.00

00:27:25.720 It's the OG.

00:27:28.160 Oh, Jesus.

00:27:28.980 Hey, they're the ones doing it for thousands of years.

00:27:31.100 You can't blame me, huh? 0.98

00:27:32.060 Hey, man, it's also an enslaving black culture. 1.00

00:27:36.420 Yeah, well, they sold them. 0.98

00:27:37.800 They sold these poor lads.

00:27:40.100 The lads.

00:27:42.780 Calling them lads is pretty funny.

00:27:44.920 I actually heard that they were convinced to come here.

00:27:47.140 Somebody told them that they had pancake trees.

00:27:50.500 Oh, yeah.

00:27:51.240 Someone told you that, huh?

00:27:55.900 Was it Owen Benjamin?

00:27:56.860 Did Owen Benjamin tell you that?

00:27:57.500 Yeah, it was Owen Benjamin.

00:27:58.320 Owen Benjamin told me that.

00:28:00.220 And I believe him.

00:28:01.780 Dude, they lied to him.

00:28:02.920 They said they had coconut treats or pancakes.

00:28:06.560 Dude, if you think that they came over here voluntarily, 0.99

00:28:09.480 you're a sodomite and a Jew. 1.00

00:28:14.280 God damn. 1.00

00:28:15.520 That might be your best one yet. 0.99

00:28:18.440 I'm so honored that, like, he really loved that impression.

00:28:21.240 I had Alex Stein on.

00:28:23.300 He was, like, as a guest for Celebrity Mailbag, my show,

00:28:25.600 and I was Owen Benjamin the whole time,

00:28:26.920 and we were talking about the conspiracies of SpongeBob.

00:28:29.160 He was like, dude, they're saying that, like,

00:28:30.920 all the characters in SpongeBob represent different sins.

00:28:34.200 Like, Krusty Krab guy, he's greed.

00:28:37.040 Patrick is sloth because he's, like, tired all the time.

00:28:39.680 Yeah, yeah.

00:28:40.120 And so I was going on about that, and he's watching the clip.

00:28:44.100 I saw the clip of him watching it, and he's, like, just loving it.

00:28:46.820 And he's like, see, Alex Stein doesn't really get me.

00:28:49.880 Like, Ryan gets me.

00:28:51.040 And I was like, I do get you.

00:28:52.840 And at that time, it was weird because there was, like,

00:28:55.920 a tiff between him and Gavin that's been since resolved.

00:28:58.760 I don't think they trust each other like they did before.

00:29:01.180 Oh, wait, you're saying Owen got into a tiff with someone?

00:29:03.740 Wait, Gavin got into a tiff with somebody else?

00:29:09.800 Yeah, yeah, good point.

00:29:11.820 Really uncharacteristic of both of them.

00:29:14.100 And so during that, I was like, I just want us to get along

00:29:17.500 so that way I could like both of you

00:29:18.940 because it was a very glowing review of his own impression.

00:29:21.540 And I don't get that type of feedback very often,

00:29:23.700 and I have a feeling that Tim Pool, like,

00:29:26.360 doesn't like that I do an impression of him. 0.95

00:29:27.800 I've never shit on him once. 0.93

00:29:28.960 Like, I like Tim Pool. 0.62

00:29:30.280 You're right.

00:29:30.740 He doesn't like that.

00:29:31.880 I bet it.

00:29:32.400 I bet.

00:29:32.700 He doesn't see – I know the type of kid he is.

00:29:35.120 He's like, when you went to school with a kid

00:29:36.520 who's in your circle of friends, but you start smoking weed,

00:29:38.940 and he's like, guys, we're going to get in trouble.

00:29:40.420 He's like, we're in the woods.

00:29:41.420 Yes.

00:29:42.280 Yeah, exactly.

00:29:43.500 Yeah.

00:29:44.660 And then he starts smoking weed,

00:29:48.120 and then now he's like – now he knows more about weed than you do.

00:29:51.220 And that's – weed is a symbol for racism. 0.99

00:29:54.160 Ryan, you just described this nigga to a T. 1.00

00:29:57.160 It's crazy. 0.95

00:29:58.120 I feel like just turning the computer off because I don't –

00:30:00.200 what else is there to say?

00:30:01.080 He's right.

00:30:01.440 I've been trying to, like, express this since January, and I couldn't.

00:30:06.760 And you just – wow, incredible.

00:30:08.480 Thank you.

00:30:08.860 I know that guy.

00:30:10.100 Like, I know a guy just like him, too.

00:30:11.500 But I'm impressed by him, dude.

00:30:12.480 He's an impressive dude. 0.99

00:30:13.340 He skates well and fucking has chickens. 0.99

00:30:15.940 Guy rules. 0.99

00:30:16.760 But I hope he doesn't – he definitely does not like that. 1.00

00:30:19.280 Dude, his cock – 1.00

00:30:19.620 His cock died right in front of me, for real. 1.00

00:30:22.980 Oh, did it? 1.00

00:30:23.640 Did you kill it? 0.95

00:30:24.380 Clint, you killed – 0.99

00:30:26.040 You took some scissors to his neck. 0.90

00:30:29.120 No, no, no.

00:30:29.840 Seriously, they were sitting there playing poker, and – what's his name?

00:30:34.320 Roberto Jr. 0.99

00:30:35.540 This – his cock handler. 0.99

00:30:36.740 And Tim was such in the hole. 0.99

00:30:38.300 He bet his rooster.

00:30:39.540 It was crazy. 1.00

00:30:41.060 Don't tell me he had this fucking rooster in the room. 1.00

00:30:44.000 Yeah. 1.00

00:30:44.360 No, no, no. 1.00

00:30:44.880 It was because they were going to shoot a fucking ad campaign for his coffee company. 1.00

00:30:48.560 So the cock handler goes outside and grabs the cock and brings the cock inside and starts 1.00

00:30:54.800 to wash its feet in the sink in this – you know how it is downstairs. 0.99

00:30:58.660 Yo, Tim's the chicken washer?

00:31:00.000 Yeah, there's a poker room and then the kitchen right there.

00:31:01.320 So he's got this chicken washer, like a professional chicken washer.

00:31:04.000 Wait a – it's wild that this happened and you didn't tell us.

00:31:06.580 I know. 0.99

00:31:06.800 Yeah, what the fuck is up with that, man? 0.99

00:31:08.300 I don't know. 0.99

00:31:08.640 I don't know.

00:31:09.120 I don't know.

00:31:09.600 Like, I'm not good at telling stories. 0.98

00:31:11.700 So anyways, the cock handler.

00:31:14.160 You know, the cock washer – the chicken washer starts to wash its feet and I just hear

00:31:18.640 it go –

00:31:19.560 It's dead, dude.

00:31:23.060 It's dead.

00:31:23.940 It was like fine, alive, and then just dead.

00:31:27.320 Was the water too cold or something?

00:31:29.900 That's what I was thinking.

00:31:31.040 I was like, was it startled?

00:31:31.940 I was like, has it never been washed before?

00:31:33.400 He's like, no, this happens all the time.

00:31:34.840 It gets washed all the time.

00:31:35.740 Yo, and we're like, all right, I was certain that it fainted.

00:31:39.380 So I was like, it probably fainted.

00:31:41.340 Just give it 10 seconds.

00:31:42.800 It'll be back.

00:31:43.480 It's all good. 0.99

00:31:44.400 If you suck on it, it'll get back up. 0.99

00:31:46.500 It'll get back up. 0.98

00:31:46.920 They're like, but its head is just like totally cocked to the side.

00:31:50.280 I was like, I don't know if I'm right though, so we might want to consider CPR.

00:31:54.400 So we take it outside and –

00:31:56.300 You gave it CPR?

00:31:57.220 Did he make you give it CPR?

00:31:58.700 No, no.

00:31:59.280 No, they took it outside and –

00:32:01.000 Hey, baby boy, I heard you want that podcast on my network.

00:32:04.440 Wait, what's on my chicken some head, Clint? 1.00

00:32:07.820 Lip like my cock, bitch. 1.00

00:32:09.560 No, they all went outside and then they just put their sins upon the chicken. 1.00

00:32:14.560 And they were like –

00:32:15.600 Wait, what's on my God?

00:32:17.120 No, the story gets great.

00:32:18.100 The story gets great.

00:32:18.740 Seriously.

00:32:19.460 All right. 0.99

00:32:19.700 So fucking Chris – 0.99

00:32:21.700 It gets great? 1.00

00:32:22.400 Yeah.

00:32:22.660 No, it gets better.

00:32:23.600 Okay.

00:32:23.700 Chris Poole, his brother, comes out and he's like – 0.98

00:32:26.700 And he's got these fucking – these aerosol cans of oxygen. 0.98

00:32:29.460 Because like when they had fires or some shit, they got oxygen in a bottle. 1.00

00:32:33.380 So he starts just jacking these things into the fucking – into the cock's mouth 1.00

00:32:36.780 and just fucking hitting the air tank. 1.00

00:32:39.800 And I'm like, I think we need to be doing something when it's hard probably. 0.99

00:32:43.540 So then as I say that, he immediately goes into action, starts fucking – 0.98

00:32:48.660 Like giving him CPR compression shots. 0.99

00:32:51.940 And I'm like, look, it's been six, seven minutes. 0.99

00:32:54.520 Like this cock's gone. 0.99

00:32:55.820 And Ian Carlson comes down. 1.00

00:32:58.140 I shit you not. 0.93

00:32:59.200 And we're like – we're all in mourning. 0.99

00:33:00.960 And it was genuine.

00:33:01.700 Like I was sincerely sad.

00:33:02.680 This is like a Kim Jong-un mourning where they're like, everybody cry.

00:33:06.400 He's like, everybody cry.

00:33:08.160 Wait, wait, wait. 1.00

00:33:09.000 Shoot the motherfucker that doesn't have a tear in his eye. 1.00

00:33:11.700 And he's like, anybody that's not sad right now will die. 1.00

00:33:17.000 And I was like, oh, fuck. 1.00

00:33:18.180 I was like, I'm so sad. 1.00

00:33:19.260 I'm so sad.

00:33:19.880 Just hire me. 1.00

00:33:20.700 Punch him in the fucking face. 1.00

00:33:23.420 Tim is like, I noticed you stopped crying. 1.00

00:33:26.500 What's up with that man?

00:33:28.320 Oh, maybe you don't want to work with me?

00:33:30.600 Okay, okay.

00:33:30.920 That's fine.

00:33:31.620 I guess it's a civil war now, huh? 0.99

00:33:35.040 And then Ian comes down and I shit you not. 1.00

00:33:37.300 We've all basically accepted the fact that the cock is gone, right? 0.99

00:33:40.740 And Ian, I am not exaggerating one iota. 0.96

00:33:44.840 No one has told this story.

00:33:46.060 This is an exclusive, Tower Gang exclusive right here. 0.99

00:33:49.220 Ian comes up and he puts his hand right above the cock, like just like four inches off. 1.00

00:33:57.220 And he just, and I shit you not. 1.00

00:33:59.140 He, he, he, he in his mind is trying to bring this cock back up. 1.00

00:34:05.960 I am not fucking with you. 1.00

00:34:07.760 This one 100% happened. 0.94

00:34:09.420 He just holds it there and he's just like, and he like closes his eyes and he takes a deep breath. 1.00

00:34:13.340 And I was like, I was like, holy fucking shit. 1.00

00:34:15.380 This is so crazy, bro. 1.00

00:34:16.460 These people make millions of dollars on YouTube.

00:34:20.080 Listen, man. 1.00

00:34:20.960 What the fuck? 1.00

00:34:22.680 Oh my God. 1.00

00:34:24.500 He tried to bring it back to life with the power of his hand, bro.

00:34:27.680 Yeah.

00:34:28.200 How old was Jesus when he started performing miracles?

00:34:30.820 Because I don't know.

00:34:31.540 I'm pretty sure that Ian is right around that age.

00:34:35.060 No, no.

00:34:35.400 I like to imagine this is a giant contrived interview process made by a rich guy with a ton of money. 0.99

00:34:40.640 And just so he's like creating the scenarios to fuck with Clint. 0.99

00:34:43.200 Yeah. 0.99

00:34:43.380 He's like, how would Clint react to this?

00:34:45.180 And I'm just like, I'm like scrambling. 1.00

00:34:46.900 I'm like, fuck. 0.99

00:34:48.080 I'm looking at my phone real fast. 1.00

00:34:49.360 I'm like, how do you do CPR to cock fuck? 1.00

00:34:51.500 Dude, if I. 0.99

00:34:51.960 They probably have like a, they have like a list of like how you're supposed to react in certain situations, like psychologically.

00:34:57.480 And they're like, he's failing all the parameters, Mr. Poole.

00:35:01.160 I think you need to pull the plug on him.

00:35:02.860 He is evidently disloyal based off of his unwillingness to provide CPR.

00:35:07.220 Kim Jong Poole.

00:35:09.700 Kim Jong Poole.

00:35:11.300 Yo, that's your new character.

00:35:12.520 You got to work on that.

00:35:13.360 That's going to be killing.

00:35:14.440 Oh, that would actually be funny.

00:35:16.040 I think I did.

00:35:16.800 Did I do?

00:35:17.280 I met.

00:35:17.920 Trump's the easiest for me to do.

00:35:19.100 So I'll like mash up different ones with Trump.

00:35:20.640 Let me see if I can do a temple.

00:35:21.760 Oh, let me see.

00:35:23.340 Frankly, folks, for too long, the American people, right? 0.96

00:35:26.400 It's this is hard to do.

00:35:27.900 I'm going to stop. 0.97

00:35:30.740 Before I went on Tim Pool's show, the last one, I was literally like shooting the shit on the couch with one of the like one of the I think one of the journalists. 0.99

00:35:38.840 And we were fucking I was doing Trump as Hitler, like, you know, boasting about how great the fucking trains are going and how fucking big the camps are. 0.99

00:35:48.460 It was it was funny. 0.99

00:35:49.760 It's just like them going back and forth. 1.00

00:35:51.220 I'm like, what the fuck are you talking about? 0.99

00:35:53.060 Oh, yeah, we're just having a fun riff session over here. 0.99

00:35:55.620 Frankly, really, if you look at the amount of pornography we've taken away, we've burned the books, right?

00:36:00.920 We call it the burning of the books.

00:36:02.780 But we're going to have a really crystal type of knock tonight.

00:36:05.800 It's going to be fantastic.

00:36:08.240 Really going to be great.

00:36:09.600 Yeah, I had a riff.

00:36:10.520 I had I don't know anywhere else I could talk about this riff between friends, like one other podcast.

00:36:16.200 But this seems safe.

00:36:17.100 Yeah, this is the one.

00:36:18.240 Yeah, it's called Jack Ashwitz because let me explain.

00:36:22.620 So there was a there was a guy who was like he said he survived.

00:36:28.120 He's like what they did was they put us in these train cars and they pushed it down the hill on a track and then it launched us into the finest.

00:36:36.140 And I'm like that sounds not only like not real. 0.97

00:36:39.160 That sounds like a jackass thing.

00:36:40.940 So I was like a cartoon you watch in the 90s. 0.98

00:36:44.480 Yeah, it's like I but the music's kind of the same because it's still pokey.

00:36:50.020 And it's called Jack Ashwitz and it's got that Nazi skull as the real skull.

00:36:55.280 And then instead of the crutches, it's like the crutches are a swastika. 0.51

00:37:02.000 It's like, hi, guys, I'm Johnny Knoxville.

00:37:05.100 And this is called the minor car.

00:37:06.880 And then Bam Margera comes up and he's like, he's like, all right, yo, right now the Jews are all sleeping right now, dude. 0.96

00:37:18.120 Oh, my God.

00:37:19.300 They got to be up in the morning to work for us for free in four o'clock, dude. 0.98

00:37:23.580 We're going to throw the ashes of their relatives on their face.

00:37:26.260 And then Preston Lacey and many and we man would be something about like the Nagasaki.

00:37:36.720 The Fat Boy, Fat Man and Little Boy.

00:37:38.560 Fat Man and Little Boy.

00:37:39.420 There's tons of World War II.

00:37:40.700 We were just me and my friend were just going and we're like, what do we do with this, though?

00:37:44.420 This could never be a thing.

00:37:46.180 Yo, you need to let us sign you to Tower Gang Studios so we can produce a full length feature film of this.

00:37:51.680 This could be a cartoon.

00:37:52.980 You can make a real easy cartoon.

00:37:54.680 Only if it's for children.

00:37:57.100 Absolutely.

00:37:58.360 Warning.

00:37:59.160 Warning.

00:37:59.480 This never happened.

00:38:02.360 Don't try to recreate it because it never happened.

00:38:05.380 Just like the Holocaust. 0.92

00:38:06.720 Yeah, that's right.

00:38:08.240 You need to make the number believable.

00:38:10.060 Oh, my God.

00:38:10.940 Jesus Christ.

00:38:12.160 I'm Johnny Crystal Nocteval.

00:38:14.640 The Crystal.

00:38:15.360 That's really good.

00:38:16.360 Yeah.

00:38:16.640 I think Steve O, but it was the umlaut over the O.

00:38:19.480 Yeah. 1.00

00:38:20.640 Steve, we're going to fucking staple these Jews' balls to their leg, dude. 1.00

00:38:26.920 We're going to turn it into a leg lamp. 1.00

00:38:30.640 There's so many things that you can do.

00:38:32.120 But speaking of the, you mentioned Cole, the putting the sins in the chicken and whatever.

00:38:37.460 I actually worked for Hasidic Jews.

00:38:39.120 I used to live near Monroe, New York, which is Kirsch-Joel.

00:38:42.760 You witnessed the satanic rites that occurred?

00:38:45.020 Yeah, I was like part of it.

00:38:46.480 So my job was to...

00:38:47.540 They threw me on the chicken.

00:38:49.300 I remember thinking this.

00:38:51.340 I put some of my sins in there, too.

00:38:52.800 I was like, while we're here.

00:38:55.880 Mine as well.

00:38:56.660 Yeah.

00:38:57.340 And then Ian came over and resurrected it. 0.99

00:39:02.000 But fucking, I was hired to, you know, we put on these shitty rubber gloves that like 0.99

00:39:06.880 their claws will break right through them. 1.00

00:39:08.820 But they have this big semi-truck with just like crushed chickens in these pallets. 0.88

00:39:13.180 And they're just stacked on top of each other, shitting and bleeding and screaming on top 0.93

00:39:16.700 of each other. 0.99

00:39:17.020 It's like the Holocaust. 0.92

00:39:18.400 I remember thinking that.

00:39:20.560 When I was working there, I remember thinking, I was like, is this, this is how uninformed

00:39:24.940 I was of this ritual?

00:39:26.060 I was like, is this their way of like acting that out?

00:39:28.900 I don't know, dude.

00:39:30.120 Bad chickens.

00:39:31.000 Bad.

00:39:31.140 I'm not even kidding.

00:39:32.680 I was like, this is revenge.

00:39:34.000 And so if they have a little boy, then you pick out a male chicken, a zuched. 1.00

00:39:40.860 And then they put the, if it's a female chicken, you get a nacheira. 0.97

00:39:44.540 And then you, and then they swivel it around their head.

00:39:46.500 And then later on, they put them all in the thing.

00:39:48.500 They put them back in the crates. 0.89

00:39:49.660 And then a couple of days later, they slaughter them by like cutting their throat and then letting 0.98

00:39:52.880 them bleed out and whatever. 0.88

00:39:53.740 And I guess then, I don't know if they eat them afterwards. 0.98

00:39:55.860 Wait, they're not, they beat the shit out of them and then let them live for a few days 1.00

00:39:59.680 and then kill them? 1.00

00:40:00.600 Yeah, it's fucked up too. 1.00

00:40:01.420 Cause like the way you got to grab them is you have to break their like wings basically 0.98

00:40:05.440 like to grab them with one hand.

00:40:07.000 So you could get two hands. 0.64

00:40:08.360 You go behind their arms and then just like crunch their wings together.

00:40:12.300 And I couldn't do it at first.

00:40:13.580 And then as time's going by, there's Jews yelling all over the place. 0.95

00:40:17.260 They hired you.

00:40:18.640 They hired you to do this for them?

00:40:20.400 Yeah, me and a couple of my buddies.

00:40:21.720 They don't have strong enough hands to break the wings. 0.82

00:40:27.020 Maybe that's true.

00:40:28.120 Yeah, they have weak grips.

00:40:29.880 Whoa.

00:40:30.180 Yet the Jews have to outsource the Jews. 1.00

00:40:32.480 Look, if you don't have enough grip strength to fuck a chicken up, then you shouldn't be 1.00

00:40:36.720 doing it. 1.00

00:40:37.140 I am so stunned.

00:40:38.660 I'm so stunned at how awful this culture is.

00:40:40.840 They can't even take part in their own satanic rituals.

00:40:43.520 They made you do it.

00:40:44.700 They paid you with fake money that they created.

00:40:47.360 They paid me with real money, but it really wasn't much.

00:40:50.440 I remember I couldn't eat chicken after that for a couple of days. 1.00

00:40:53.880 You know if you get real drunk on 99 bananas, if you smell bananas, you're like, fuck that. 0.99

00:40:59.280 It was like that, but with chicken. 0.99

00:41:01.100 It's the most delicious treat in the whole wide world.

00:41:03.200 I think you really were scratching at something with the psychology of the Jew with the whole 1.00

00:41:06.520 Holocaust chicken parallel there. 0.81

00:41:08.900 I literally was like, no, I'm not the cause of the world's problems. 0.92

00:41:12.400 You are chicken.

00:41:15.220 I'm not the scapegoat. 0.99

00:41:16.560 You're the scapegoat. 1.00

00:41:19.820 It was crap, man. 1.00

00:41:21.320 And the chicken's beak also looks like the big nose. 0.99

00:41:25.640 That's, listen, I know that didn't land, but you're not wrong.

00:41:30.440 He's gotten better.

00:41:31.440 It's like 50-50 at this point, but we actually have a super chat from Rumble.

00:41:34.700 This guy, Yvonne626, says, please make fun of Clint for crying about that redheaded guy's

00:41:41.280 country song. 0.99

00:41:41.820 I know you fucking didn't, Clint. 0.99

00:41:43.040 Real quick. 0.99

00:41:43.400 Real quick.

00:41:44.080 Is this the last episode?

00:41:45.400 Whatever last episode he released, Clint finally went full cult leader at one point.

00:41:49.740 I want you guys to watch it back and listen for it.

00:41:51.540 It was great. 0.99

00:41:52.140 I was like, fuck yeah, dude. 0.99

00:41:53.080 Clint, wait up. 1.00

00:41:53.460 Did you cry again, though? 1.00

00:41:54.540 I was just going to call him a fag. 1.00

00:41:56.080 You cried when Tim Pool's cock died. 1.00

00:41:58.960 Then you came in. 1.00

00:42:00.100 You cried over fathers, and then you cried over this guy's song.

00:42:02.840 I did not.

00:42:03.300 Great song.

00:42:03.760 I did not cry over the song.

00:42:05.660 I don't know why they're saying that.

00:42:06.620 I didn't.

00:42:07.020 I swear to you.

00:42:07.380 You're getting big conservative famous.

00:42:08.900 Can you least...

00:42:09.480 No, I don't know why they're saying that.

00:42:15.200 I feel like I'm being besmirched.

00:42:17.900 But he said, if possible, make you cry again, so...

00:42:21.040 No, yeah, go ahead.

00:42:21.860 Go ahead.

00:42:22.140 I'd like to cry again.

00:42:23.020 Let's go.

00:42:23.660 It's a great song.

00:42:23.940 I'll just start talking about fathers, and you'll just...

00:42:26.220 No, that's the only thing that gets me mad.

00:42:27.840 I'm like, don't do it to me like that, though, man.

00:42:30.160 Yeah, and Kobe dying, who was a father with his daughter. 1.00

00:42:33.000 Yo, that's a father with a daughter, and he's also my hero, and fuck you. 1.00

00:42:36.760 Did you cry whenever Kobe died? 1.00

00:42:38.600 Like, for real?

00:42:39.220 Yeah, dude.

00:42:39.240 Hard.

00:42:40.360 No, you didn't.

00:42:41.060 For an hour.

00:42:41.360 No.

00:42:41.760 You did not, dude.

00:42:42.940 An hour straight, I cried.

00:42:44.900 I don't even know if I've ever teared up about any public figure at all dying that I can

00:42:48.800 call.

00:42:49.140 Well, maybe you've just never loved him before.

00:42:53.320 It's like, dude, it's like 50 years later.

00:42:56.000 It's like, the more I get to know Clint, the less I understand him.

00:42:59.740 It's weird, yeah.

00:43:00.500 It's just wild.

00:43:01.040 Yeah, like, the one guy whose death Clint cries over is a black guy, that's, like, really 0.86

00:43:05.820 out there.

00:43:06.280 I know, contrary to my visage, I actually, I like black people. 0.98

00:43:12.520 Interesting.

00:43:13.460 I do, too. 0.99

00:43:14.140 I love, I literally, like, here's the thing, it's like, it's fucked, because you don't 0.87

00:43:18.340 know, I've been friends with, like, when I was growing up in the Bronx, like, there 0.81

00:43:23.040 was a kid, Louis, he was like my best friend, but there is this thing in him, like, when

00:43:27.100 he hit a certain level of anger, like, not even with me, but if you're in the area, it's

00:43:30.760 like, you're in danger, bro.

00:43:31.620 I don't know what to tell you.

00:43:32.740 Like, there's just, there's just something there that's, that ain't with other people

00:43:37.960 sometimes.

00:43:38.480 It's the aggravated assault switch.

00:43:40.160 They all have one.

00:43:41.400 It's the lack of, but we already discussed what it is.

00:43:44.320 It's the lack of sleep. 0.99

00:43:45.840 It could be the lack of sleep, or that sound, that, the fucking chirp of the, that's what 0.99

00:43:49.580 it is. 0.99

00:43:49.920 That's the cause.

00:43:50.900 It's cause.

00:43:51.260 That's our theme.

00:43:51.780 That's just that the smoke detector beep is making them all temperamental, because they

00:43:55.640 can't get a good night's sleep.

00:43:56.440 Oh, dude, that's, yeah.

00:43:57.540 It all ties together, man.

00:43:58.680 Because, and this is also what we figured out, they don't dream.

00:44:01.300 You dream during REM sleep, they can't enter REM sleep with the beep. 0.92

00:44:04.780 So, also, black people don't have dreams. 1.00

00:44:06.480 So, just divert welfare funds, drink to nine volts. 0.99

00:44:08.860 And do they drink water?

00:44:11.260 Yeah, well, I mean.

00:44:13.760 No.

00:44:14.300 If it has dish soap in it.

00:44:16.220 Do they eat breakfast?

00:44:17.620 I know they like a purple.

00:44:18.380 They don't know.

00:44:19.560 They didn't tell you.

00:44:21.380 By the way, if they did, they'll let you know.

00:44:23.940 And they'll be very true.

00:44:24.860 But I didn't eat breakfast today.

00:44:26.500 They will never not eat breakfast that morning, okay?

00:44:32.300 That's right.

00:44:33.480 I mean, that would explain why they don't sleep well, too, if they don't ever drink water.

00:44:36.280 If they're just all jacked off a purple drink.

00:44:38.400 Like, that would be hard.

00:44:39.260 Wait, wait. 0.97

00:44:40.120 You're telling me that all these black guys are not even at their peak athletic performance? 1.00

00:44:44.340 Like, they're all dehydrated? 1.00

00:44:45.880 And, like, they're still beating the shit out of every white guy? 1.00

00:44:48.600 Yeah, that's how superior they are physically. 0.99

00:44:51.100 Yo, you guys want to bring up this?

00:44:52.040 This is why, thank God, we're smarter, because otherwise they conquer us.

00:44:54.480 Yeah, we have one more mailbag, and then I got some videos here.

00:44:58.120 You want to do the last mailbag?

00:44:59.440 Let's do it.

00:44:59.920 Yeah, do it.

00:45:00.640 Do it.

00:45:01.360 Conspiracy Extremist, another one of our guys.

00:45:05.100 If we could find Andrew and convince him to continue the Andrew Show, who do you think

00:45:09.100 would be the co-host to teach the dangers of waste mixing?

00:45:15.660 I'm sorry, Toad.

00:45:16.760 The meme was better than what you were saying.

00:45:18.560 Continue again.

00:45:19.040 Yeah, go ahead.

00:45:19.280 Why are you apologizing to me?

00:45:20.960 Conspiracy Extremist is the...

00:45:22.860 Well, he's an extremist, so it's important that we...

00:45:26.300 He said if we could continue the Andrew Show, what is...

00:45:29.480 Oh, yeah.

00:45:29.980 Who would be the co-host in order to teach the dangers of waste mixing?

00:45:35.040 I think Toad would be the go-to.

00:45:36.900 There's no way Andrew would take on Puerto Rican. 1.00

00:45:39.640 Yeah, Andrew's not going to talk to you in Puerto Rican.

00:45:41.840 You think Andrew's going to waste mix his own show?

00:45:44.260 I think White Gil would backflip.

00:45:45.400 He's like, he would just like, he wouldn't be able to compute with a Mexican that's essentially 1.00

00:45:50.640 agreeing with everything he says.

00:45:52.180 He'd be like, I don't get it.

00:45:53.080 He doesn't have to compute.

00:45:53.880 He won't listen to him.

00:45:55.380 He'd be like, I don't...

00:45:56.620 That's on the verge of waste mixing.

00:45:59.900 No, because it has to be like...

00:46:01.200 We need to explain to this what Ryan was going on here.

00:46:03.840 Yeah, I feel like Cole is the natural co-host, given that intellectually, he's on the same

00:46:09.140 level.

00:46:09.620 Yeah.

00:46:10.300 Equally racist.

00:46:11.260 That's fair, yeah.

00:46:11.620 I was going to say Nick...

00:46:12.580 I know. 0.99

00:46:13.100 They stink, man.

00:46:13.980 Like, we just... 0.99

00:46:14.820 I was going to say Nick Fuentes, because he needs a very childish, like, white supremacist 0.91

00:46:20.720 thought.

00:46:20.960 I think Nick Fuentes would be a good pick.

00:46:22.440 I assume it's from our group.

00:46:23.700 He would dominate the show, and he's going to be more of a cohesive effort, I think.

00:46:26.660 He would dominate.

00:46:28.320 Ryan, what's going on here?

00:46:30.580 Or Clinton, go ahead and tell him.

00:46:32.060 No, no, no.

00:46:32.720 I would love to know what Ryan's...

00:46:33.840 What's going on with Ryan's head?

00:46:34.160 No, I'm saying what's the Andrew show, because I think he would find this pretty cool.

00:46:37.580 We don't have to go through another video, but...

00:46:39.000 Yeah, no, he needs to know about this.

00:46:40.360 Yeah, we'll show you the Andrew show.

00:46:41.440 So, the Andrew show is this kid.

00:46:42.540 Yes, go ahead.

00:46:43.160 Start it over again.

00:46:44.060 It's a good sample.

00:46:44.780 Two seconds of it.

00:46:45.480 This is a good sample, yeah.

00:46:46.820 You'll get it.

00:46:48.340 All right.

00:46:51.000 Any second now.

00:46:52.580 Yeah.

00:46:52.880 It'll play, I promise.

00:46:54.180 I swear to God, it'll play.

00:46:56.080 Jesus Christ, don't do this to me.

00:46:58.060 All right, we've got to do a little bit of bam-a-bamping. 0.88

00:46:59.440 He's not showing up to perform.

00:47:01.260 It's not what I want to tell you.

00:47:02.000 I like that he has the Jew doll there, though. 1.00

00:47:04.420 And then we do some vamping.

00:47:08.000 Jesus Christ, Andrew.

00:47:09.980 This happens to me, too, but I'm so glad I'm seeing this with somebody else.

00:47:14.240 This is actually...

00:47:14.800 I know for you, it probably feels like you're failing, but I feel very good about it.

00:47:18.620 Because this happens to me a lot on Twitter, especially.

00:47:21.460 We are going to just try that again on Toad.

00:47:23.520 Toad, you pull it up.

00:47:25.080 Yeah, we'll say.

00:47:26.260 Over to Toad.

00:47:28.020 Why am I doing your job, Toad? 0.99

00:47:29.720 What the fuck? 0.99

00:47:30.420 I didn't know you were going to pull up this tweet. 0.99

00:47:34.120 Tell us the command prompt.

00:47:38.280 That's right.

00:47:41.220 I do like the idea that Toad is a fed, but that's why he gets so touchy when you're touching

00:47:47.660 on a weak part of his backstory. 1.00

00:47:49.800 He's like, fuck, I figure I don't know shit. 0.99

00:47:51.840 Yeah, because we're over target, so he gets extra defensive, so that hopefully we'll back 1.00

00:47:56.060 off.

00:47:56.400 And we usually do, which is the mistake.

00:47:58.460 So he's a government worker, and he also slacks at his job, so he just also learns from

00:48:01.780 memes about just...

00:48:02.880 He just goes to the computer science Reddit and just scrolls memes on there.

00:48:06.800 He's like, oh, okay, that's what I mean.

00:48:09.680 Ryan, does Toad strike you like the kind of guy who's never had sex before? 0.70

00:48:13.760 No, I think he's gotten it in before.

00:48:16.180 No, he doesn't come across as like a...

00:48:17.900 Wait, has he not?

00:48:19.320 Swing and a miss! 0.89

00:48:21.800 Wait, are you a virgin?

00:48:26.040 For the purposes of this show?

00:48:27.880 Oh, don't, don't, don't.

00:48:29.420 Don't bring the fourth wall down.

00:48:31.320 That's such a great answer.

00:48:32.760 That's a great answer.

00:48:33.720 I'm jealous of it.

00:48:34.640 If I could have held out for marriage, I actually would have preferred that.

00:48:39.060 Or even just lie for the clout.

00:48:40.980 It's based.

00:48:41.500 If you had a comedic show going. 0.99

00:48:43.460 That's an easy pussy grab right there. 1.00

00:48:47.080 All right, just show him so he understands. 0.99

00:48:48.880 This is a seven-year-old who opposes waste mixing.

00:48:52.060 This feels matter right now.

00:48:52.840 We're still starting to teach in school.

00:48:55.840 Oh, you're freaking good. 1.00

00:48:57.040 Damn it. 1.00

00:48:57.540 Now, of course, we probably, oh no, it's Jews that are doing it. 1.00

00:49:07.620 Holy shit. 1.00

00:49:09.340 What? 0.99

00:49:09.860 That's our best friend, Andrew.

00:49:14.200 That's our best friend.

00:49:15.480 That's our best friend.

00:49:15.500 That's our best friend.

00:49:16.100 God and I have a Yishmarekha.

00:49:19.740 May God bless you and keep you. 1.00

00:49:23.460 Holy shit, dude. 1.00

00:49:24.600 That's right. 0.99

00:49:25.320 Yeah.

00:49:25.700 Andrew is a seven-year-old who opposes waste mixing and also is very skeptical of the Jewish faith.

00:49:30.600 Oh, my God.

00:49:32.480 It is an actual, it was an actual show put on by a KKK family for the express intent of getting children into the KKK movement. 0.63

00:49:43.160 Oh, so that wasn't taken out of context, right?

00:49:45.600 No, no. 1.00

00:49:46.160 This kid really hates black people and Jews. 0.99

00:49:48.040 Yeah, and it's not a joke. 0.99

00:49:48.920 It's not a joke.

00:49:49.800 It's not out of context. 0.99

00:49:50.800 It's exactly what you think it is, which is fucking crazy. 0.95

00:49:53.760 And it's hilarious because it's some, like, seven-year-old kid with a list. 0.98

00:49:56.760 The cutest kid in the world. 0.96

00:49:57.900 I mean, he just goes off on the Jews and the blacks and the gays.

00:50:00.520 The only thing we ask of you, Ryan, is that when you show this to all of your other comedian friends, that you let them know. 0.63

00:50:06.940 You heard about the Andrew show from Tower Gang because we are the OGs.

00:50:10.720 Are you serious?

00:50:11.840 Yeah.

00:50:12.380 I haven't seen anywhere else in the internet.

00:50:14.120 That's like the people that found, like, Five-ish.

00:50:16.820 Remember that guy?

00:50:17.440 It's like a big cartoon dollar.

00:50:20.080 It's like a Jewish car. 0.97

00:50:20.840 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:50:21.440 I know what you're talking about.

00:50:22.400 That one's really funny. 0.99

00:50:23.460 Like, things like that are fucking... 0.96

00:50:24.720 I have guys that I found, too, but it's hard to get people into them, but it's this depressed autistic guy named... 0.98

00:50:31.640 I think autistic... 1.00

00:50:32.400 Like, a guy named Todd.

00:50:33.500 Todd.

00:50:33.900 And I think he lives in Utah. 0.99

00:50:36.420 And he's friends with the drunk, crazy Russian who just drinks and curses at his audience. 1.00

00:50:41.460 Like, he'll go live and be like, so today we're drinking, like, a Trulli mango and we'll get to pretty drunk. 1.00

00:50:47.020 And fuck you and go eat shit and die. 1.00

00:50:50.480 It's amazing shit, but, like, I don't know. 1.00

00:50:52.980 I've been giving it... 0.99

00:50:53.760 I gave it to my friend Jesse from Pod Offal.

00:50:55.860 I was like, you got to make this guy one of your guys that you talk about, but...

00:50:58.920 Yeah.

00:50:59.360 America's not ready for him now?

00:51:01.160 We're adding him to the rotation.

00:51:02.640 Believe me.

00:51:03.180 Thank you.

00:51:03.420 But we found this...

00:51:05.500 So this Andrew kid, his show was...

00:51:08.320 It's off of YouTube now, so you have to go on the Wayback Machine to find his videos.

00:51:12.200 And it resonated with us on such a deep level.

00:51:14.880 Yeah.

00:51:15.200 It's like, that could be us.

00:51:16.440 That's us.

00:51:17.880 In a few months.

00:51:18.520 And so now we're actually...

00:51:19.880 We're looking for the kid.

00:51:21.020 We're trying to find him.

00:51:22.260 He has his family, like, his sisters have a white supremacist music group.

00:51:27.780 Before people call Child Protective Services, keep in mind, he's probably in his 20s now.

00:51:32.700 Oh, yeah.

00:51:32.980 This was, like, in 2005.

00:51:34.840 Yeah, it was, like, 2005 or 2008.

00:51:36.600 2009, yeah.

00:51:37.220 Yeah.

00:51:38.220 So, but we're looking for this kid, and we're going to find you, Andrew.

00:51:42.320 Yeah, and when we find you, we're going to...

00:51:44.820 Why'd you say it's threatening?

00:51:45.860 We're going to...

00:51:46.400 We're going to capture you, and I'm going to keep you in this closet here, and you're going 0.99

00:51:51.440 to come out and yell the N-word all the time. 0.99

00:51:53.400 Yeah, we're going to find you. 1.00

00:51:55.320 That'll be my damn friend. 1.00

00:51:56.020 Yeah, we're going to force you to be a white supremacist again. 1.00

00:51:59.860 I have his full name. 0.99

00:52:00.480 Oh, my God.

00:52:00.940 Spud Ruckus has his full name.

00:52:02.120 So do I.

00:52:02.520 Dox him right now.

00:52:03.020 So do I.

00:52:03.960 I've known it the whole time.

00:52:05.540 That literally is the funniest part of this whole thing to me, is that, like, if we do

00:52:09.020 follow this thread where it goes, we could incidentally...

00:52:11.880 We're going to ruin his life.

00:52:12.860 Yeah, ruin his life, because he's, like, could have, like, literally completely moved on,

00:52:16.400 have a normal job somewhere.

00:52:18.120 You would think with the amount of FBI informants we have on the show right now, we could just

00:52:21.980 search his name and find him.

00:52:24.460 Here's the funny part.

00:52:25.080 I already have.

00:52:26.020 Yeah, command, find Andrew.

00:52:29.760 The sad thing is, is that, like, let's say that guy, that kid, or guy now, was reformed,

00:52:36.140 and he's like, that was a really dark time in my life.

00:52:37.940 My parents, obviously, I was very impressionable, but that's not the right thing to do.

00:52:42.000 And he had a job. 0.98

00:52:43.180 They would still fucking fire that guy and, like, smear him all over. 0.99

00:52:46.220 Like, there's no... 1.00

00:52:47.220 They would kill him.

00:52:47.720 The reason why it's so...

00:52:48.340 He was eight, and his father was, like, the head of a KKK, you know, thing.

00:52:53.120 Yeah.

00:52:53.280 So, it's not at all his fault.

00:52:54.960 This one guy, Chris Piccolini or something, he goes around talking about how bad it was

00:52:58.740 being a skinhead Nazi or whatever.

00:53:00.300 And they let that guy through the cracks for some reason.

00:53:02.580 But it's like, for the most part, there's no, like, redemption art that they allow you

00:53:06.080 or any level of apology that would actually suffice to be like, okay, you've...

00:53:10.120 Unless you're, like, a president of a country, like Canada, where you do blackface, and then 1.00

00:53:15.020 you can still, like, for some reason, just make it out of it.

00:53:17.480 You know, speaking of Ryan, last year, I went to your stand-up last year in Tampa.

00:53:23.200 Oh, no way.

00:53:24.420 Yeah, yeah, I was there.

00:53:25.400 I was in the back.

00:53:26.360 And I did not know what kind of crowd to expect.

00:53:29.860 It was you, Josh, Denny, Gavin, and Kumia.

00:53:33.360 Nice.

00:53:33.620 And my wife was like, why is everybody wearing yellow shirts here?

00:53:37.100 Like, why are the cops standing in the corner and they look, like, visibly uncomfortable?

00:53:41.620 Yeah, the proud boy?

00:53:42.720 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:53:43.240 I was like, I got to catch her up on, like, four years of, like, what's been going on.

00:53:46.700 And she was like, where did you bring me?

00:53:48.280 I was like, it's a comedy show.

00:53:50.780 It's a Proud Boys meeting.

00:53:53.920 Kind of was.

00:53:54.780 Like, there was a ton.

00:53:55.920 There was a ton of guys there, but there's never been any drama or any problem.

00:54:00.300 Like, if you could believe that or not.

00:54:01.320 They were all cool as hell.

00:54:02.460 It was just strange.

00:54:04.500 See, this is the thing I don't understand, and I don't want to, like, derail us too much,

00:54:08.940 but the Proud Boys phenomenon, it's like, they're fans of this edgy stand-up comedy guy, Gavin. 0.63

00:54:16.720 And then they all decide to stop jerking off and, like, get married and have families. 0.97

00:54:20.780 And then they fall in love with Trump. 0.99

00:54:22.720 And then January 6th happens, and then they become a domestic terrorist organization overnight.

00:54:27.280 And I'm just like, I'm like, is that honestly the story arc?

00:54:31.320 Because it seems totally unfeasible.

00:54:33.860 Meanwhile, there was just, like, four or five of them there, and they were told, like, it's like a franchise, 0.96

00:54:38.480 like a fucking, like a subway or something. 0.96

00:54:40.440 Like, we have rules. 0.99

00:54:41.040 Like, if you want to open up a franchise or a chapter, there's rules.

00:54:46.940 Like, don't be actually racist.

00:54:49.740 We believe in free speech, and we believe in this and that.

00:54:53.020 No, seriously, guys.

00:54:53.680 Please don't be racist.

00:54:54.960 Yeah.

00:54:55.640 I mean, make all the jokes.

00:54:57.000 Define racist, please. 0.98

00:55:00.020 There might be, I mean, you know, it's hard to control an entire group, but we're, it's just a bunch of fucking great guys. 0.58

00:55:04.920 There's never been any drama. 0.97

00:55:05.640 And just like the franchise thing, like, if you want to start selling fucking, like, Campbell Soup chicken gumbo, 0.93

00:55:13.340 like, they're like, no, you can't do that. 0.82

00:55:15.140 So the Proud Boys were told, like, don't go to Jan 6th, and if you do, then, you know, you're not working under the capacity of a Proud Boy or whatever. 0.99

00:55:25.740 It's just a fucking drinking club. 0.99

00:55:28.360 Is this how the Freemasons started? 1.00

00:55:30.500 They're pride artists.

00:55:31.960 Is this how Freemasons started?

00:55:33.880 They were like, we're just drinking club, and then they end up running the world.

00:55:36.600 I was going the opposite direction with it, because watching what happened with the Proud Boys,

00:55:42.420 it now makes me reconsider all of the other evil groups of the past, and I'm like, maybe the Nazis didn't do anything, 0.98

00:55:48.820 and they were just, like, categorized as fucking... 0.96

00:55:50.340 Well, they definitely have a point of view. 0.96

00:55:52.500 Like, their story, like, you know, it looks weird from our side or something, but their country was in, like, disrepair since World War I,

00:56:04.460 and, like, they had points, but you're right, though.

00:56:07.900 It's like, what's been obscured and what's actually true?

00:56:11.060 Like, what was the motivation?

00:56:12.100 You know, it's a pattern among the moneyed interests.

00:56:14.680 Jesus Christ.

00:56:15.720 They kind of had a point.

00:56:18.960 Can we just give up a point?

00:56:20.260 Like, one, at least one point.

00:56:22.020 You guys saw the article?

00:56:22.940 They were like, they were making us into soaps.

00:56:24.840 They ate six million bars, and I was like, they were making you into soap or cookies.

00:56:28.240 I can't keep up anymore.

00:56:29.680 What's going on here?

00:56:30.820 What was that thing that someone sent a thread today, I saw, that of a guy was, it was a, they, like, I can't remember CBS or somebody put, like, on.

00:56:40.080 Oh, that was me.

00:56:40.860 That was you.

00:56:41.800 Okay, it was you.

00:56:42.600 I said we should do a completely deadpan commentary of it, like, on this show, like, serious, and then just be, like, at the end, like, this is all a joke.

00:56:50.640 I hope you like Tower Gang.

00:56:52.340 Well, I gotta explain what the thing was.

00:56:54.420 It was, it was all Auschwitz survivors, and they had, like, interviewed them.

00:56:59.740 But CBS, like, there was, like, 5,000 or some shit like that, and they, like, limited down to, like, five.

00:57:05.700 There were really, and then everybody else, they have all the recordings, and they're just like, yeah.

00:57:10.040 Halfway through the interview, it's like, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.

00:57:15.580 Someone just smack them with a big rubber hand. 1.00

00:57:19.200 And then, like, when they shave their heads for whatever, like, boom, it's fucking Dan Margera with the hand cam. 1.00

00:57:27.300 Or the uncircumcised penis. 1.00

00:57:29.100 the side of their head oh dude come on fuck anyways the point was that they're making is 1.00

00:57:36.720 that like all these interviews with people saying how it really wasn't that bad and that's like the 0.99

00:57:41.300 whole premise of all these videos they were like a giant mega thread of them this is like no this

00:57:46.660 is like they were saying this is auschwitz this is apparently the worst one out there they were

00:57:50.760 like yeah they bought us a piano a grand piano they bought them a grand piano just to like play

00:57:55.700 they had like a music hall and it was like all these interviews they're just like yeah that was

00:57:58.940 they're like they let us have like like there was like uh sports time or some shit like that 0.73

00:58:03.440 swimming pools yeah they did all then there's like five of them that were like no it was the worst 0.86

00:58:08.780 things you see here and cbs is like that's what we'll take wow that's crazy yeah i mean honestly

00:58:14.500 wow that's crazy man i'm doing everything now i don't like i don't like feeling like i live 0.96

00:58:22.660 a poorer lifestyle than they did in auschwitz what the fuck i don't know 0.98

00:58:26.560 a swimming pool a grand piano a concert hall it's a concentration resort 1.00

00:58:33.260 i mean it's all inclusive the great thing about it meditation retreat

00:58:39.940 oh that's a great bit right there

00:58:52.840 i mean yeah we were better off i just want to i want to interrupt and just say holocaust you 0.95

00:59:00.020 are welcome back anytime you're one of the funniest fucking guests we've had i really 0.98

00:59:03.000 ryan he goes fuck no when we start tower gang studios with clint's money we are going to fund 0.98

00:59:09.400 you the way the way the united states funds the jews to make videos for us you will be fully funded 1.00

00:59:15.100 whatever you need dude we'll take it away from the american people i need this jackass movie uh or 0.80

00:59:20.400 cartoon or whatever it should be a cartoon because you could really go off the off the wall with it

00:59:24.920 i think we'd all be better if there wasn't this like uh what's like what i think is happening with

00:59:31.220 like the black and white relationship right now is like there's kind of this so one of my my friends

00:59:35.200 and um he told me at work he goes up to these two guys that he works with and he's like what's up

00:59:40.160 black and he just and they call out each other's differences and they just make fun of each other 0.93

00:59:44.000 whatever like the way it should be the way like all in the family type shit yeah and it's like 0.97

00:59:47.780 that's literally what we're doing that's what we do on the show yeah they're boys it's like 0.77

00:59:51.800 because here's the thing it's like if um right after like okay

00:59:55.400 we're diversity hires i don't know if ryan is brown or yellow it's hard to figure out

01:00:03.500 both okay it's uh japanese puerto rican i don't know how i forgot that for a second how'd that 0.99

01:00:09.480 happen let me guess wait your dad had to be puerto rican no wow wow so your dad had some fucking 0.98

01:00:15.160 riz because he's banging out banging some spanish food he was a top g 0.99

01:00:18.560 how did a japanese dude pull a puerto rican puerto rican woman that i just yeah what dude yeah 1.00

01:00:26.560 yeah is your mom retarded he's a good looking guy well she's puerto rican i mean 0.99

01:00:33.140 yeah that's a big iq jump that's like a jew going for a black that that really is like that 1.00

01:00:39.500 it's i'm i'm right down the middle like i am right

01:00:43.680 like reaching down a hand just like here you go son i got you pull you up a couple casts

01:00:50.820 he knew the assignment we're gonna make the most average baby 1.00

01:00:54.580 we're gonna make a we're gonna make a mid-level intelligence baby with a fat ass 1.00

01:00:59.580 can't dance can't do math what good am i love rice though any sort of rice 1.00

01:01:05.940 stab like a motherfucker a katana fucking butterfly knife 1.00

01:01:11.320 but he i mean for a japanese guy he real thank you wow 1.00

01:01:20.620 dicky walnuts oh my god you're a fucking dicky yeah i have one you have you have t-shirt merch 0.99

01:01:28.280 i i do now okay well you know a guy who could print your t-shirts if you if you want to have 1.00

01:01:34.720 some merch talk to me after hell i can't imagine i can't imagine someone wearing this

01:01:39.980 i know a kid named andrew who'd probably

01:01:44.660 i left that life behind guys i need you to sell that and i need to know at least someone bought it 0.92

01:01:53.580 and not one of us that's so fucking crazy like that's like the next disputed election and you 0.97

01:01:59.820 see a bunch of dudes rocking this shirt and we're all we're all just sitting here like holy fuck no 0.99

01:02:04.540 no no no no no no no we we started this oh no so you got to make the s's oh oh that's great 0.99

01:02:12.560 fuck dude yes shit yeah oh wow but i think he yeah this was when did i make this 2022 yeah jack jack 0.99

01:02:20.580 the s's are ss that's perfect yeah oh that makes it a little too spot on 1.00

01:02:27.220 it's really aggressive like their aesthetic was so aggressive and like but look like sharp too like

01:02:34.520 it was cool they're definitely cool like that's why when nick fuentes was like it felt so refreshing

01:02:39.980 and crazy to watch that uh info wars thing when him and yay were like they'd be like yeah he was

01:02:46.580 cool he's like he's like hitler's like earth's darth vader it's like is that not cool like that's 0.97

01:02:53.220 right he was he was using uh what was the fucking brand it was hugo boss hugo boss yeah man bro they're 0.94

01:03:00.100 driving porsches hugo boss driving porsches and like these are the coolest guys in the world dude yeah 0.98

01:03:05.220 they had the best trip like for real yeah yo they had they had tight outfits let's just be real about it

01:03:11.060 they look sharp as shit yeah and um i feel like we're not actually finding any humor we're just like 0.90

01:03:15.620 you could say 0.98

01:03:16.020 you could say 0.99

01:03:17.940 you could say arian iconic iconic iconic what the fucking iconography is dope but you can't do it 0.98

01:03:26.820 the big flags i can't get like a dope eagle fucking emblem without be like dude that dude's totally 0.99

01:03:31.220 fucking jose would you say would you say that they're dressed to kill 0.99

01:03:36.740 that's a totally a toad joke allegedly no 0.99

01:03:41.380 the thing though is what people don't get is like i i could say and and feel all those

01:03:45.860 sorts of things and then also like i've i've known and grew up with jews like all my life and they're

01:03:50.820 like some of them here's the thing about them like uh you know who's a good one he's on the right uh

01:03:55.780 also he i think he works with tree of logic or whatever that that black chick right it's him 0.95

01:04:00.180 and her she's jewish he's black he's like a big bodybuilder guy but they're always no matter how 0.98

01:04:04.260 like physically imposing they get through like working out and steroids and shit they're always 0.97

01:04:08.900 like sweethearts and they're they're very smart so it's like they're really good people to talk to 0.99

01:04:13.300 i've i've had a blast like a motherfucker and they do what they're they're sweet and they're really 0.98

01:04:18.740 smart that's manipulate manipulation right there yeah i'm smart no but i've you know my friend gordon 0.97

01:04:25.460 total jew like i mean but they're they're really because i think they have the ability to stick with

01:04:31.700 their own and they're encouraged to stick with their own they have this like social you know i don't

01:04:38.180 know like this ease about them that they're great talkers they're often very funny like adam sandley

01:04:43.380 like all the jews are funny like larry david they they monopolize everything in the banks but also 1.00

01:04:50.020 comedy i think they're really if you know so like if i can summarize what ryan's saying here

01:04:56.660 it's okay for us to both like the jews and the nazis yeah and i think i think that's that's the most 0.58

01:05:03.700 even-handed i would like to say i'm i'm glad that it's it's junity i'm i'm i'm just saying christ no

01:05:12.100 that was a good one now don't encourage him please no i'd like to say that i'm glad six million of

01:05:18.660 them didn't die that's i'm happy about that yeah yeah why is it why is it a problem if we say that

01:05:24.420 fewer of them die dude that that'd be so great to go and like just see someone break down and you're

01:05:29.620 just like i'm happy six million jews didn't die during the holocaust i don't know what's the nice 0.99

01:05:33.780 i had

01:05:38.420 i'm an anti-semite because i'm glad they didn't die maybe you need to reflect on how anti-semite you are

01:05:44.660 can you give us trump questioning six million really folks we've looked at the what do they

01:05:51.060 call it six six million whatever six billion they wanted they wanted six million and we talked them

01:05:57.220 down we talked them down to thirty three hundred thousand right not too bad the art of the deal

01:06:07.060 they thought they could do deals but we really we talked it down from six million imagine what a big

01:06:12.900 number thank you oh my god dude oh that's amazing oh my god amazing

01:06:28.020 when you get a chance to bring up the the cake uh wars this guy you're giving me so much work

01:06:32.500 ryan because now i'm gonna have to clip all this stuff oh yeah just make sure you add context to some

01:06:38.820 of it this is no the i love jews part in front of every clip please no that actually doesn't require

01:06:47.220 any context because then you're just going like this is actually trump and i'm just doing so like

01:06:51.540 you the left you're totally fine they're gonna be like i'm just doing an impression of what trump

01:06:55.780 actually is what he wants to say this is yeah i'm quoting him

01:07:02.100 what do we have here look lover girl really yeah we have we have exactly we have uh men who are

01:07:09.060 being super aggressive with their uh brides uh during the uh the cake cutting i've seen some

01:07:14.820 of those yeah or the the cake feeding i suppose this is this is all white people 1.00

01:07:19.460 shit oh i mean getting getting married she she she had a great i mean if she was a boxer she was like 1.00

01:07:29.540 yeah i think you could just hit right and it goes to the next one can i i do well again i don't know 0.99

01:07:34.820 how to use a computer oh my god

01:07:45.460 oh wow oh did you see your face see this is one of the few times that white male and actually feel 0.98

01:07:55.300 like they're getting raped and it's actually a real because i mean the way the dudes are like

01:08:00.580 you know in a way yeah it's all about equality right just click click the right button please 0.63

01:08:07.220 it's like you can oh i thought we were discussing

01:08:18.740 i can understand like throwing like getting a piece that they already take because they're

01:08:22.500 supposed to take the bite of the cake and putting that in their face whatever but taking the entire

01:08:26.180 cake and throwing it at somebody that's just mean to the guests dude i saw a video the other day where

01:08:31.940 it was um that like the best man was bombed and uh it was the bride and the groom were like standing

01:08:38.100 in front of the cake about to do the thing and he like grabs the cake it's like a really beautiful

01:08:42.340 cake that you like grabs a huge chunk of it and like throws at them like trying to be funny 0.98

01:08:46.580 and and then the fucking groom just like pushes them on the ground he's like what the 0.99

01:08:49.700 fuck like imagine the embarrassment of doing that god dang yo at first when you said uh i was i saw a 1.00

01:08:55.380 wedding where the groomsman was was bombed and i was like was this in the middle east are we still 1.00

01:08:59.540 like under barack obama i remember that he's like one ivers how about millions of virgins or however

01:09:07.780 many versions i i actually like i kind of respect the dude's willingness to be like to go with a

01:09:13.460 joke he's like i'm not going down i'm not bombing he's like i'm gonna double down on this i'm gonna

01:09:17.540 pick up the cake throw it out that's gonna be hilarious totally revived my best man speech here's 0.98

01:09:23.220 the controversy with these videos right so there's a lot of a lot of fucking uh you know woke feminist 0.98

01:09:28.420 women who are like quote tweeting those clips and saying this is evidence of like spousal abuse 1.00

01:09:34.020 it's evidence of not loving your significant other i just wanted your guys take on like is that what

01:09:39.620 you see there because i i have different opinions on it but i'm curious how you guys feel i i see

01:09:44.100 playfulness and as i mentioned in our chat uh one of my cousins did something similar to his wife not

01:09:50.820 not as aggressive as in these videos but he he gave her a nice cake smash right up the nose and she was 1.00

01:09:56.580 not too happy about it i don't i don't understand that at all i mean they pay they pay like hundreds

01:10:01.460 of dollars to get their makeup done and then you're gonna hit them on cake yeah i mean they're rightfully

01:10:04.900 crazy but like i don't know it's well rightfully more powerful than them so yes exactly that's right

01:10:11.140 well that's what i said you're the the man is asserting dominance like immediately in the 0.99

01:10:15.460 gym if you don't want this to happen you done bitch yeah like like this this is how it's gonna 1.00

01:10:19.620 go a couple weeks and i'm in the gym you've been there five years i'll beat you out anyway 0.99

01:10:22.820 i wonder if it's like a quick little like one last time to remind you like this is what i'm

01:10:27.380 holding back on like i could that's what i'm saying yeah because every one of them every one of them

01:10:32.820 if they're if they ever catch it before they actually get hit it is like a struggle but the

01:10:36.660 dude is just like obviously going just overpowering you're just like uh putting that cake no if i

01:10:41.700 wanted to kill you you wouldn't be able to stop me this is only 45 of my power too

01:10:47.620 guys i do the same thing with my significant others whenever we go swimming i'll always hold 0.98

01:10:52.020 them underwater just just just a second longer than they're comfortable with just to let them know

01:10:55.700 i'm telling you that was funny right i thought you were gonna say a second until they actually

01:11:00.260 like drown and then you're like oh but i'm just i'm just showing you two things that elizabeth just

01:11:04.900 would not let me do was one was the cake thing she expressed multiple times before that she was like

01:11:09.540 you do not put that cake in my face i paid too much less makeup i look pretty today all this stuff

01:11:13.780 she was like do not and so i was like good the other thing is okay no and the other the second thing is

01:11:20.980 do not dunk her head underwater she gets irrationally upset if i uh try even try to

01:11:27.220 i'm so i've heard i've never seen her put her head underwater in a pool or anything like that never 0.94

01:11:32.500 i've never seen it happen what the is going on over here what is happening here oh oh okay

01:11:40.260 our rfk sorry jr's dead no problem thanks for having me but what i wanted to say is that a lot of women 1.00

01:11:49.620 they really don't like the being mock drowned because a lot of women died being drowned

01:11:57.620 underwater it's the scientists looked into it and it says when you can't breathe the air you'll

01:12:02.900 you'll actually die thank you robert thank you did that work could you see it oh yeah yeah you could 0.70

01:12:14.100 actually look into the numbers it worked well enough yeah holy hundreds and thousands of

01:12:23.220 women come up to me after my meetings and they said i was drowned by a man what do you think what's 0.84

01:12:29.620 going to be the angle assume assume for a second that that biden croaks or whatever and rfk ends up

01:12:34.820 being the democrat nominee and it's trump versus rfk what what's the approach donald that you're going to

01:12:39.780 take to destroy him well if you're asking donald frankly i would tell you my hair is a different

01:12:46.900 color i would i would change the hair and then we would just make fun of his voice right it's low fruit

01:12:51.940 but we got to do it okay we got to do it very strongly we're trying to embarrass him and he's got

01:12:56.740 a weird burbly voice we call it burbly we call it burbly oh oh my god i can't like i'm just thinking

01:13:06.340 about it in real life like he's literally just going to be talking about vaccines and he'd be

01:13:10.660 like i created the best vaccine this guy wants to get rid of vaccines that is oh my god i didn't even

01:13:15.460 think about that oh yeah actually that actually might happen because he's going to be like i think

01:13:20.580 he thinks vaccines suck i think i created the best vaccine in the quickest amount of time that we've 0.97

01:13:24.980 ever seen yeah i hope i hope that's what that's right damn no that's a big one no that's that's 0.98

01:13:33.540 one that uh that's a point for rfk if trump sticks with the whole because the thing was and he he has 0.51

01:13:39.620 to he's gonna do it he can't help himself at the time poisoned five billion people and and trump is 0.99

01:13:45.860 going to respond your voice sounds like you ate too much pussy as if that's an insult 1.00

01:13:53.940 this guy have you smelled his breath before it's really something really terrible no but that's like 1.00

01:14:01.620 um damn if trump like walked it back and he said um you know that i thought that was the right thing 0.95

01:14:07.540 to do at the time and if you saw what we like it was impressive if you take away the fact that it's a 0.98

01:14:12.260 dangerous killing vaccine i don't know that's he loses on that too because it's like well then

01:14:16.900 why'd you put it out so fast if you didn't know damn yeah i didn't think about it to now my high

01:14:22.260 brain just put that together yeah that's good we got a super chat from rumble again uh same dude 0.56

01:14:27.780 he says this has tower gang vibes please show to the world it's a video i'm too lazy to click the link so

01:14:33.220 sorry um but right underneath it says x.com suspect fed so i really don't know well right underneath that

01:14:40.420 they said how have y'all not discussed about the jake shields holocaust research oh that just kind

01:14:45.860 of flew under the radar you know jake shields the mma fighter yeah yeah yeah he started noticing man

01:14:51.540 in the middle of the night or something he was just like you know what i have been doing research

01:14:55.220 and actually some of these numbers don't seem to line up and he's like look at this wikipedia entry

01:15:00.020 look at this and i was like oh shit he's just going through it publicly you know like the crazy thing 0.68

01:15:05.460 is is then um it's so fucking weird my life is very fucking surreal at this point because 0.97

01:15:10.820 i'm i'm watching jake shields who i've watched fight professionally for 15 years and now is like a

01:15:16.500 kind of a personal friend of mine and then and then i see him doing holocaust research in the middle

01:15:21.140 of the night and then the very next day he's standing next to anomaly who's also my homeboy

01:15:25.940 with joe rogan and roseanne at the comedy i'm like i'm like what okay no no no aspect of my life

01:15:32.740 feels real at this point it's fucking crazy but to your point his his research seems legitimate and 0.88

01:15:37.940 jake is so based he can't help himself so there you go dude it's it's weird because like they 0.74

01:15:43.620 kicked everybody who's cool out of like the mainstream so their sub mainstream is like even

01:15:48.340 cooler like snl got rid of shane gillis he's he's on fire oh sam hyde was canceled it's it's the best

01:15:55.860 place to be like this island of misfits toys or whatever yeah i got to meet yay because of that

01:16:01.540 gavin and when they said just fly out in two days and uh gavin's gonna be sitting across from 0.93

01:16:08.100 kanye west i was like what the fuck this is nuts the way the way we're you know how like uh it's kind 0.98

01:16:15.540 of hipster shit but like if you're the first people to get into a club people will be like ah that that 0.99

01:16:21.060 club doesn't have enough people in there but like by the time people see the line out front because 1.00

01:16:25.140 there's gonna be a line to get in this motherfucker and we're gonna have the boots in the back we're 1.00

01:16:28.740 gonna be chilling and all these other motherfuckers gonna be standing in line trying to get in 0.99

01:16:32.020 that's that's what's that's what's coming i'm just telling people like you can you can either 0.99

01:16:34.980 fucking get real and start telling the truth now and and join us in the in the cool kids club or you 0.95

01:16:39.620 can just fucking be stuck outside of the club and that's why you guys should know it clearly wasn't 0.99

01:16:44.100 six million wow no clint is literally describing clint is literally describing a kkk uh rally and he's just 0.97

01:16:50.420 like and he even called the cool kids club yeah he was like in the just with c's with c's cole if

01:17:02.020 you've never heard a dog whistle that was it the cool kids club i did not mean to do that 0.94

01:17:08.180 it we've been buying from instagram and twitter because he's fucking it just goes off we got our 0.98

01:17:16.500 own personal club and you ain't welcome now everybody wants in like that's because he's just describing 0.99

01:17:23.220 like white he's like talking about the holocaust denial is what this club is gonna be oh my god 0.98

01:17:28.740 join us in our fraternal order or you can stay the fuck out yeah the white power movement in the 90s 0.99

01:17:35.540 like i'm telling you guys it's coming back our way we gotta build up for us now 0.87

01:17:42.260 but listen our first our first rally will be on the capitol hill steps on january 6th 0.99

01:17:49.460 but listen no blacks no fags and no jews allowed all right yeah we can talk about you 1.00

01:17:57.220 that's right we might allow kanye in once in a while who knows hey toad when we're riffing if 1.00

01:18:02.900 you could not just leave a still that was me of a bitch of a bitch saying i was raped by 100 gang 1.00

01:18:07.540 members yeah that's okay i pulled that up i pulled that up it's not me it's top this is a super chat 0.98

01:18:12.980 from rumble i kind of felt bad about that after i said i'm not going to read it he said dang or

01:18:17.700 something like that in the channels i feel bad so i looked at the i looked at the clip and right away 0.99

01:18:21.540 i was raped by a hundred gang members this white woman bitch i don't know what this is about this 1.00

01:18:26.100 horrible that's an ai generated image by the way i am ai i'm excited top i'm worried this is this 1.00

01:18:32.020 is going to incriminate us probably let's see what it is 100 gang members because i celebrated pride 0.84

01:18:39.380 month can't motherfucker i gotta stop never mind guys put put the link i mean we couldn't have let 0.99

01:18:46.500 it load any longer yeah literally loaded for believe it or not i think we i think we got all 0.97

01:18:52.420 there is to get out of it in that two seconds all right i think i'm okay with not investing more time 0.98

01:18:57.780 in that that's that's about as legit as all rape claims some ai bitch is lying yeah i've seen that 1.00

01:19:03.860 and that's it's like this creepy weird ai i don't know if it's a joke or something but it's like 0.96

01:19:08.500 there's like a bunch of them like a guy like cycling through them and it's like just the worst weird

01:19:13.780 situations and um yeah i don't know what's i haven't even investigated what that's all about

01:19:18.020 yet but so far it's just funny but it's also uh it's dark enough to maybe investigate further

01:19:23.620 i hope it's trying to be humorous because if it's trying to be legit i ain't buying it that's

01:19:27.700 clearly artificial yeah well i did tell us in the in the chat this morning that i believe that toad

01:19:34.820 actually talks in the way an ai actually like a chatbot talks because i saw this this morning about

01:19:39.460 how it works is the chatbot just literally searches the entire internet for a conversation

01:19:45.300 and then like kind of repeats back what word it thinks fits in to reply to you and so i just think

01:19:50.340 that's how toad like acts and so he's just saying things like he's a human ai yeah he'll just he'll

01:19:55.380 just say things but he was just like in his brain he's searching the entire internet and he was like 0.84

01:19:59.700 what comes after this word and he was like jews funny kill them all or something like that and he's 0.66

01:20:04.580 like and then he's like and that's just what he says that's just how he works and i was like

01:20:09.700 this is an epiphany cool that is how my brain works i hate the tangent on you buddy but i i need you to 0.95

01:20:13.780 tell me uh what's going on with your height because you're looking you're looking oh god damn it yeah 0.62

01:20:18.660 no you're gonna have to tell this one yeah so i went so i um i decided to schedule my first 0.89

01:20:25.220 like physical as like an adult like i haven't been to the doctor in like probably

01:20:29.300 five six years so i haven't had a physical in that long you don't need to yeah but i get like

01:20:33.780 fifteen dollars for my insurance if i do it so i was like yeah i'll go ahead

01:20:38.260 so there is there is literally no price tag by which you won't do things it's amazing you gave

01:20:43.700 you gave your like bone marrow for 50 bucks a clip crazy i didn't do plasma first 0.87

01:20:50.420 eighty dollars a week uh paid it was a fifteen dollar copay so you're like i'm gonna go away

01:20:55.620 yeah i didn't think about just because it wasn't even eighty dollars then i spent a hundred dollars

01:21:00.820 on mandatory testing so it was it was a net loss yes and then it was it was a net loss for more

01:21:09.460 reasons so i when i was scheduling it i just saw like whatever preferred person was on like my

01:21:14.740 insurance app and i clicked on it called scheduled i was like okay whatever i get there it's a black

01:21:19.940 woman so i'm going so it's it's me and a black lady as my my position not starting out great no 1.00

01:21:28.020 but i got a quick quick tangent i i was going in uh to dermatologists and i i'm obviously i just

01:21:34.180 moved out to florida so i didn't know what to expect in terms of the doctors so i i walk in and

01:21:38.500 they're like oh you can go with her and there's this black lady with dreads and she's like but she's 1.00

01:21:43.860 wearing like what looks like doctor's outfit and i'm just falling her i'm like please don't be my

01:21:47.860 doctor please don't she's just cosplaying did you guys see the video the black girl on the plane that's 0.98

01:21:52.900 like the driving the plane oh yeah and everyone was everyone's like why aren't we celebrating her it's

01:21:58.820 like because she's just doing what you say that they're supposed to be capable we're not celebrating

01:22:03.460 because i'm scared i'm let me off this plane you know that joke where they're like what do you call

01:22:09.060 a black pilot and then they're going and that's literally what they're doing to her it's like oh yeah

01:22:14.500 it's just a pilot and they're like no if you look closer

01:22:21.700 she's not supposed to be in the air yeah yeah yeah well if you think about the water dude if

01:22:27.060 well yeah if you have like a a transatlantic flight or something you might want a black

01:22:31.620 uh person piloting the plane because they're really incentivized to not crash into the ocean

01:22:35.620 yeah that's a good point oh i think i thought you were gonna make a transatlantic slave trade joke 1.00

01:22:40.260 i really thought he was going there ain't no fucking water landing for my ass 0.99

01:22:46.340 they're they're they're in the cargo hold of the plane and it's going 1.00

01:22:50.180 this motherfucker i will breach the stratosphere and we will orbit in this motherfucker i am not 1.00

01:22:54.900 going not with my hair my their hair it's really not even about the swimming it's about 1.00

01:22:59.940 it's air amistad

01:23:01.380 you thought the bp oil spill was bad wait till my weave get in there and all that 0.97

01:23:11.540 oh my god i didn't mean to interrupt cole continue please so uh my entire life well

01:23:16.260 not my entire life but ever since i have grown to my full height i've always said i was 5'8 and

01:23:21.220 i'm pretty sure i've been measured at 5'8 i've grown after after my my full cycle

01:23:33.780 so and like i go in there and she was like let's see how tall you are and i was like well

01:23:37.220 hope i haven't shrunk or or i think maybe i've grown i think i said maybe i've grown to the nurse

01:23:41.620 and i get on there she's like magic she goes down and she's like five seven and a quarter and i was 1.00

01:23:46.500 like i've shrunk and i was like i've lost it's totally correct i've told you since i met you 0.77

01:23:52.180 you were fucking five seven and you're always like no i'm five eight five nine like no you are 0.99

01:23:56.420 you're like a cunt hair taller than me that's it you short bitch i'm telling you i i was five eight 1.00

01:24:03.460 and i i think i've been lifting too much and my spine oh you dumb bitch i just thought you were 1.00

01:24:08.820 a different height your whole life you lied to yourself enough you know about an inch but 0.99

01:24:12.980 but but you know that's that sounds plausible that's some i would tell myself too i i'm five

01:24:17.620 six so anything it takes the more reasonable explanation is either a you gave away too much

01:24:26.020 plasma which like malnutrition yeah malnutrition and actually physically shrunk you or b you gave

01:24:31.780 away too much plasma plasma and took too many charges and your iq and your memory your recollection

01:24:37.220 decreased and you just the top of my head got hit so many times it actually caved in and

01:24:40.980 push me i literally think he's retarded enough to be like he got the measurement at one point 0.90

01:24:45.220 as a kid he's like i don't like that height i'm 5'8 kind of 5'9 depending on shoes i'm wearing

01:24:52.500 he lied for so many years he just it just became the truth to him but i'm actually i'm a midwit i'm

01:24:57.300 a midwit though because i actually chose a height that people could be like oh i guess so like he said

01:25:02.580 i didn't go for like i'm 6'1 like that'd be a retard a true midwit would be like i'm 5'9 actually 0.96

01:25:08.420 but like this the specific type of retard that's just be like all right i'm changing my reality all 0.94

01:25:12.900 right yeah it's not i'm not manipulating i'm that retarded i just in my mind i just put just 0.86

01:25:19.940 i wish i could be that retired that'd be awesome by the way since you're since we're like internet

01:25:23.460 personalities you could just be 6'1 no one will ever know until they see you in person so it doesn't

01:25:27.140 really matter oh the dude it builds the builds the ambiance too because then you end up with these 0.99

01:25:30.820 like gay ass like haters like like like the joe rogan thing like look at him he's 0.99

01:25:34.420 fucking short and they're like they just tell everyone you're 5'9 tom cruise you know they'd be 1.00

01:25:38.980 like oh tom cruise is like 5'4 and people would be like you know that fat comic david is actually 0.99

01:25:42.580 fucking 5'5 did you know that i want to be one he lies i want to be measured by my width you know like 0.93

01:25:50.180 why can't we do that oh you're talking about like if it's shorter width that's fine i am actually shorter 0.99

01:25:55.060 my like my hands to hand measurement is shorter than my actual height too i don't mean this i mean my 0.99

01:26:01.220 fucking wings yeah measure by the wingspan dude you have fucking lats on you cole look at you 0.99

01:26:09.540 my name is ryan actually 0.99

01:26:15.140 no but dude it's like in cole cole has an advantage though because he's very tiny so like 0.95

01:26:19.860 no me too i'm fucking five six i'm one inch shorter than but is it fucked up like you can be me it's way 0.99

01:26:25.140 cooler to be a but you could be a chick and then in the world will have to accept you otherwise 1.00

01:26:29.540 they'll like fine you for misgendering you but you can't just squeak out an inch oh yeah you can't

01:26:33.700 no you well i mean i guess i was i was doing it for a long time i guess but i did squeak and then a

01:26:39.300 black woman took it away from you that's reparations before about your reparations for cole yeah we've 1.00

01:26:49.220 literally had this argument me and you about your height multiple times and you'd always just be like

01:26:53.380 no i'm five eight that's what they said and like honestly i think that was yours i think i didn't

01:26:59.380 stand up strange i think i need talk like that no no i'm five eight can i get some more porridge please

01:27:06.580 yeah we're getting a little late but i wanted this story's fan it's fascinating cole i want to know how

01:27:13.460 you almost drowned because this has been like weeks now where you just kind of keep flirting with it

01:27:17.940 and i need to know like how did you almost died what the happened no no seriously i thought i was

01:27:22.100 going to die i really did i like i had thoughts in my head and i told elizabeth this i was like 0.70

01:27:27.380 i thought about elizabeth i had i thought i was like what i what i i'll start from the beginning so

01:27:33.060 i went to uh the ocoee river to do uh like right water rafting which i'd done like probably dozens of

01:27:39.220 times now so um and so we go i don't know if anybody's been there it's it has some it was where the

01:27:44.260 olympics were held in like 96 at uh atlanta they came up there and they did i haven't but

01:27:49.060 i'd be more worried about dying if it was black water rafting though okay i like that that that was

01:27:55.940 good like that's i was working on one in my head too it's you guys are just hating on toad no because 0.91

01:28:01.220 it was damn mole what it is is that he's he's abused this so much in the past it's like like like 0.60

01:28:07.620 if a husband constantly beats their wife and then he goes to like scratch his head when he starts doing 0.98

01:28:11.780 that we flinch yeah yeah it's like it's like it's like toad walks in he hands us flowers and we're

01:28:17.220 expecting him to be like i cheated you know yeah and then we're like oh these flowers are wonderful

01:28:23.300 like now sorry guys i'm on legion of skanks now i don't get it wow anyways go ahead cool uh so we're

01:28:31.700 going down and uh so these rapids are actually pretty like good so there's class five is like the

01:28:36.420 highest they have like class fours and i think they have one class five rapid were they elite elite

01:28:40.020 rapids they were they were like they were like in the advanced level rapids not elite level yet you

01:28:44.420 know so the thing was my dad was sitting next to me in the raft and my dad is like uh my height but

01:28:53.540 he's like but he's like 250 so like he's like he's like he's built too he works out so and so it was me

01:29:01.300 at like 170 him at like 250 and like we're both in the front where like it really gets hit so we come to

01:29:07.140 like the um one of the first class four rapids which if anyone cares it's called broken nose and

01:29:12.020 we went in and the um the guy is rapid

01:29:20.020 the guide will tell you to get in and so you basically like lean in so to like not 0.91

01:29:24.420 fucking fly out why lean in and my dad leaned in way fucking harder and so like your dad your dad 0.99

01:29:31.380 fucking amogged you out of my dad like hockey checked me out of this because i go like i sit 0.99

01:29:39.300 like because i'm like the thrill seeker so i'm sitting like on the outside of the right like just 0.99

01:29:43.620 like because i want to do that and he like so whenever i go in cole's like i got kids

01:29:53.380 so like when i lean in i'm like over like a quarter and like he's when he leans and he's like on the 0.99

01:29:58.260 inside so he leans in and then he also like totally fucking falls down so it knocks my ass completely 0.99

01:30:04.340 out like you need to just hit that first rapid boom and i'm out like and so i've never i've been like 0.98

01:30:08.820 dozens of times never been out of the raft and this time i hit right below so the rapid you know how it

01:30:14.500 comes over a like rock whatever then hits so i was right there where it hits so the water was pushing

01:30:20.900 me down while my uh flotation device was pushing me up so i stayed in the same place underwater oh

01:30:28.340 yeah dude i was like in like the bad like the bad zone like yeah that's the dead zone bro yeah like

01:30:33.860 that's so i'm sitting there and i like they tell you nose and toes so they basically you put your nose

01:30:38.500 above water put your toes downstream so like i'm trying to get to my back and let my uh flotation

01:30:44.900 device like push me up well it's sitting there and i can see the water above me and i'm like what

01:30:50.500 the fuck and it's not pushing up and i i'm under there i'm sort of like i'm starting to like kind 0.87

01:30:54.580 of like freak out because i'm losing breath i have like i'm getting no air left and i start thinking 0.99

01:30:58.660 about my wife and kids i do the whole fucking like it's cliche how many how many do you have 0.95

01:31:05.220 oh i have three wives i got a wife and two baby mamas actually so finally i don't but it's the 0.98

01:31:12.260 music this time all right but seriously and then i at like the last moment i really thought i was

01:31:17.380 like this is it and i thought about her seeing me like my body floating down the river dead that's

01:31:22.420 what i thought about she should be celebrating and i did ask her because at your height all blue you look

01:31:28.740 like a smurf and i did ask her later on i was like do you think they would have made you like finish

01:31:37.140 out the trip after i die there's like not really a place to get off at you can but like they like

01:31:45.700 well do we still get at the end of this yeah and they're like well we got to keep moving to stay

01:31:50.820 with the group guys like go on come on elizabeth she's she's holding your kid and she's like there's 0.96

01:31:55.700 your gay-ass dad down the river and they keep floating along with us the entire time 0.99

01:32:01.300 motherfucker died in hook nose um well i'm glad you survived brother but what happened what i had 1.00

01:32:07.940 to do was basically i did what they say is the they say the number one rule is don't stand up in 0.99

01:32:13.700 the rapids number one rule don't die we're trying not to die we don't have insurance survive at all

01:32:20.820 costs it's the most if you go and do it they let me tell you the number one rule is don't stand up

01:32:24.820 you're going to want to stand up if you get like if you get launched out don't do it under any

01:32:29.060 circumstance and so i was laying there i was like it and i stood up and it like it kind of

01:32:33.940 like launched me upwards and so i was able to flip out and i came up and i had to swim but then i

01:32:38.500 thought a boat was going to because i'm still right on the rapids and there's boats continually

01:32:42.660 coming so i was afraid the boat was going to dude how crazy how crazy is it that like if you had

01:32:48.260 followed the rules you'd be dead yeah for real i mean that's a metaphor for real life yeah 0.99

01:32:53.700 fuck the rules man it really was because what they say is it'll you're like your foot can get 0.99

01:32:58.420 caught under a rock and then you're stuck there and then instead of like putting you down backwards 1.00

01:33:02.500 it puts you down forwards and you can't like how awesome would it be if you were so stupid that like 0.99

01:33:07.700 you're drowning and you're like can't risk it my foot stuck i'm not lying that's fine 1.00

01:33:13.700 it went through my head this all died they lit i was literally thinking in my head i was like gotta

01:33:19.620 stand up they said don't do that they said under zero seconds wait cole's uh retardation actually saved 0.91

01:33:28.980 his life i'm gonna say it was my anarchist uh feelings but i'll even say what if they were like they

01:33:35.540 were like no we tell tall people that they can stand up but don't try you're five seven you have

01:33:41.380 no chance i'm five eight i'm great i'm a tall guy they're like oh he died because of three quarters

01:33:50.980 of an inch too short he's like i know my nose but you signed the form it's five nine so it turns out

01:33:57.380 that black lady was like a gypsy like the one thinner she's like shorter 1.00

01:34:01.060 you're like honey what the fuck cole cole was talking to me today and i was like yo if you're 1.00

01:34:08.020 not nicer to me i'm gonna cast another spell and take another inch off your height um hey uh go ahead 0.99

01:34:12.420 and run the plug music uh ryan go ahead and tell our fans where they can follow and support you i'm

01:34:16.340 sure they'll want to sure i was gonna say by the way i almost drowned doing a water jetpack thing too so

01:34:21.300 i was like oh did you like get this cotton just spraying straight down it's like a thing that goes on

01:34:26.100 your on your shoulders and when you stay when you're like uh before they turn it on you're just

01:34:30.980 in the water like this but i had it tilted and the guy could either give it juice and like put me up

01:34:36.900 there and have water shooting in it or he could just not and so i'm sitting there everything's fine

01:34:41.300 and he puts a little bit of juice so it tilts forward and then like i'm my face is like under

01:34:46.100 the water and there's nothing you could do it's a heavy thing and i'm like i'm like this i'm like dude

01:34:51.940 fucking help me and you have a helmet on and his voice is in your ear he's like all right all right 0.83

01:34:56.820 give it a little uh tilt it or something i'm like tilt i'm doing all the shit and i'm like i'm gonna 0.99

01:35:01.380 die like this that was my second i'm gonna die listen to guys say tilt it tilt it i was like dude 1.00

01:35:08.500 give it fucking juice and you dumb fucking chink tilt it you built this you fucking you know how 1.00

01:35:16.340 great it would be like you're trying out this new technology and you die with this fucking water 1.00

01:35:20.900 jetpack on your back like yeah oh man what a terrible way you die in like the minimum amount 0.99

01:35:25.860 of water that they say you can die like three like two inches it was it was the it was the deep

01:35:32.580 end but it was in a wave pool at action park or mountain creek whatever you want to call it it's

01:35:36.420 been two different oh there's a documentary about action park action park and i was i'm in it

01:35:42.020 oh you are and you're having to like do this lip thing to try to get to air are you like

01:35:46.820 are you like a little asian kid in it no i was i there was footage of me jumping off the cliff that

01:35:52.660 my buddy brian hodge he he worked for them and he actually did like the um the lifeguard training 0.99

01:35:58.100 video so when i went to the park you know with him just for um they were like you're the fucking 0.97

01:36:02.980 training guy like they they knew me from the video they had to watch this video that i was in 0.57

01:36:07.700 and uh did some commercial thing for them i also did an action park like promo for them when when

01:36:12.820 they were going from mountain creek back to action park for like a promotional thing but yeah i love

01:36:17.540 that place but i almost died there for sure crazy it's fucking sucked but yeah this has been a lot 0.96

01:36:21.140 of fun this has been i had a lot of laughs a lot of laughs where you can find me well you can find me 0.97

01:36:28.340 at sensor.tv they call it sensor.tv beautiful name and i have my own show there but the main draw of

01:36:35.140 course is gavin mckinnis's get off my lawn and you can subscribe uh on the site there and uh it's good

01:36:41.940 shit it's all uncensored funny stuff i was joe rogan last night and uh we have live shows too so 0.74

01:36:48.180 you can call in you could we read emails like i think every day we do a mailbag thing too lots of 0.90

01:36:54.180 fun stuff funny ryan so i did the i did the drawing for the end racism tour for you guys the one that

01:36:59.140 was just at the top and uh we were on elijah schaefer's show and one of his boomer audiences

01:37:03.860 like because i did another drawing and obviously it's in my style and they're like oh tower gang totally 0.99

01:37:09.060 bit uh the kumi is tour poster and i was like what a fucking dumb bitch that's funny 1.00

01:37:15.300 you'd be like i drew both of them idiot wait you did this wait the one that we use yeah yeah yeah 0.99

01:37:21.220 yeah no shit yeah i wanted to come out to see you guys in tampa this year but uh i was just i just 0.99

01:37:27.140 too swamped man i got a thousand things going on i hear you yeah no it's i understand i mean but like um 0.76

01:37:33.380 i would say that it would be kind of the same show because it's it's a different rebranding of the

01:37:37.140 tour but it's pretty much the same tour but we the acts have changed so you would have you would

01:37:41.380 have seen a new show but if you can make it out to vegas um the ninth we we try to west fest the

01:37:48.020 proud boys thing is always on september 11th in vegas hell yeah dude that's why we start our show

01:37:53.780 i know never forget that's a yeah i will never forget so yeah we're going to baltimore this friday

01:38:00.020 you can get tickets on sensor.tv slash tour and um i have a chyron there too and then

01:38:06.900 fucking vegas nashville dallas but they're a lot of fun you had fun there right yeah no dude it was 0.87

01:38:11.940 it was sick yeah orlando you went to no i went to the tampa show that was uh it wasn't side splitters 0.98

01:38:17.140 it was it was like some weird venue it was like so this was like this recent one no the one before it

01:38:21.780 last year oh we didn't do that i think it had to have been uh orlando i don't know where i was at

01:38:29.300 it was a big theater it was like a big theater it was a big theater pulse night club

01:38:36.260 we got to end it on a toad laugh man that's

01:38:41.540 that's why ryan killed so hard oh my goodness all right i put out a couple solo shows go to

01:38:49.620 liberty lockdown subscribe follow me on twitter at liberty lock pod i'm almost to 100k let's

01:38:53.940 fucking get it done so i don't have to hug you in thank you oh yeah i messed up the order today 0.83

01:38:59.700 i'm sorry uh i have the no way jose show uh catch me on youtube all major odd pocketers odyssey and 0.96

01:39:05.220 rumble rumble particularly right now i'm not putting as much stuff up on youtube right now because i

01:39:09.380 still have a strike active uh i just dropped my rumble and all the other you know other platforms i

01:39:15.220 dropped a columbine episode did a deep dive into that uh it's gonna be multiple parts this is the first

01:39:20.260 part of it uh yeah i also have an rfk episode it'll be dropping here soon in a few days but

01:39:24.660 yeah go check out not with rfk though right no no no diving into his uh dad's assassination

01:39:33.220 uh but yeah uh and follow me on twitter at towergang jose

01:39:38.100 i just want to say this top because uh i'm not doing my plugs i don't care if i have one day whatever

01:39:42.420 but i just want to say how many times do you think like comics he said is going to baltimore

01:39:46.500 that when they go baltimore detroit they just hope that the comic place is still there when

01:39:50.820 they get there that has like torn down i honestly think if that actually goes to there like god i

01:39:55.540 got baltimore on saturday yeah it's it's like 50 50 whether there's gonna be a building there i'm

01:39:59.780 like do we have do we have any fans that live in baltimore i think so as long as i'm still there

01:40:06.020 after the show i'm i'm fine with it that's all that matters yeah uh tobes scary that was tower

01:40:11.540 gang toad on twitter and follow the tower gang pod we're back on youtube for the time being at

01:40:17.060 least uh rumble is where you can find uh us for the most part and go to the locals subscribe to

01:40:23.940 the locals towergang.locals.com yeah i want to take a quick opportunity to thank our fans for

01:40:29.060 following us over while we were fucking nuked from youtube for a week yeah you guys were putting 0.98

01:40:33.540 up serious numbers over on rumble thank you guys so much go ahead top maybe we'll end up on on

01:40:37.540 on sensor tv soon because we're we're gonna be off of all platforms the way we're banned from here

01:40:42.020 from gas i think that would be a great addition i think that would rock talk to your sign guys talk

01:40:47.620 to you don't tell me tell me yes tell me who i have to blow i'll do it tell gavin he can come on

01:40:55.780 tower gang yeah all right no he might he i think he'd be down absolutely that's awesome that'll be fun

01:41:03.460 anyway you catch me at uh top lobster.com follow me on twitter i just broke 18 000 i think something

01:41:08.900 like that go to top lobster.com for uh the merch that i create go to merch engine.com for all of

01:41:15.460 all the beautiful creators that we love from gas digital that we're not even allowed on anymore but

01:41:19.460 go buy some shit man check out the top lobster show just did another episode today with uh the raven 0.78

01:41:24.980 really cool stuff got into some supernatural stuff we're doing uh an episode me and cole soon and uh 0.98

01:41:30.180 uh i think that's it yeah what i'll say is uh next week we'll probably do it together because

01:41:34.260 we're all gonna get together next uh saturday and sunday friday saturday sunday at the top

01:41:38.820 blocks the range guys i have one one other big announcement i gotta make i haven't even said this

01:41:43.620 on liberty lockdown yet but uh myself and luke radkowski have put together a live studio for

01:41:48.900 an irl miami uh edition big big so so it's gonna be it's gonna be awesome yeah well if cole ever read

01:41:56.100 the group chat he would already know this yeah we we it's gonna be uh we've already got like five

01:42:05.300 mics and cameras and it's gonna be crazy i'm i'm stoked and you know he's he's good friends with

01:42:10.260 like viva fry destiny obviously lives in miami there's a bunch of people so we'll start with

01:42:15.060 the locals and then we'll start to fly in people they're gonna call it they're gonna call it eskimo

01:42:18.820 brothers take us out with random we're out of here man it's the tower power hour slut to the tower 1.00

01:42:32.660 power hour bitch no way jose liberty lockdown to the tower power plant bitch reed 1.00

01:42:39.220 coal top lobster and toad tower gang tower gang tower gang tower gang tower gang tower gang 0.99

01:42:48.660 되는 lock is truth say same with lobster koal and hose toad is sick no way jose but

01:42:56.500 tower power hour slugs they made they spit all his tower gang tower gang tower gang tower gang 0.54

01:43:01.060 Tower Gang, Tower Gang, Tower Gang, Tower Gang, Tower Gang, Tower Gang, Tower Gang, Tower Gang, Tower Gang, Tower Gang. 0.99

01:43:05.960 They speak courage, you sped, sped, more than Rogan, you fed, you fed, truth bomb, weather, timcast, hotep, hotep, more offensive, LOS, no disrespect, more offensive than LOS, no disrespect, yes I am, redhead libertarian is their best friend, unless they get raided, then they never met, never met, none of this shit be new to me, truly, Clint is a sexual brute to me, sorry, no booster seat, get them tall boots on you, fuck every podcast, that won't stoop to me, 0.98

01:43:30.480 libertarian won't be the same, they revolution-y, I miss grammar, send it, it rhymed duvidly, promote myself on their shot, stupidly, comedy, philosophy, markrandom.com, user free, I'm single lady, so please choose with me, they scream Tower Gang Worldwide, Tower Gang Rise, together we will overthrow you, Tower Gang, Tower Gang, Tower Gang, Tower Gang, Tower Gang, Tower Gang, Tower Gang, Tower Gang. 0.94

01:43:53.340 liberty lock is truth say same with lobster colin jose

01:43:57.820 toad is sick no way jose if you read i've rhymed jose with jose

01:44:02.860 they made dates with all his fame tower gang tower gang tower gang tower gang

01:44:07.740 tower gang they made all his fame tower gang tower gang

01:44:13.340 tower gang tower gang tower gang

Tower Gang - August 17, 2023

Ep 137 - Jackasschwitz w⧸ Ryan Rivera

Episode Stats

Summary

Transcript